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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN JANUARY 1972 + $1.50 


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HOLIDAY ANNIVERSARY ISSUE 
FEATURING JOHN CHEEVER » RAY 
BRADBURY * ARTHUR C. CLARKE 

ALAN WATTS + JOYCE CAROL OATES 

HARRISON SALISBURY • JOHN 
CHANCELLOR * ROBERT MORLEY 
ROBERT GRAVES • GARRY WILLS 

RICHARD *'M*A*S*H"’ HOOKER 

KEN W: PURDY » RICHARD RHODES 
РР, TULLIUS = AN INTERVIEW WITH 
GERMAINE GREER • JOE FRAZIER 
MARTY LIQUORI, AL UNSER AND 

OTHERS ON THE MOMENT OF TRUTH 

PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW 

~~ PICTORIALS ON THE TAROT AND 

STANLEY KUBRICK'S WILD NEW FILM 

PHIL INTERLANDI ON “THE 

EXHIBITIONISTS”* + AND MUCH MORE 


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CHEEVER 


PLAYBILL It will come as news 


only to those who 
cr—or don't know any—that 
is a solitary profession. As а 
consequence, writers don't get to know 
one another very well except in print, and. 
editors don't get to know them 
very well except over the telephone— 
usually with their backs nst a dead- 
line. It occurred to us t the time was 
long overdue to remedy this situation, 
so we decided to throw a party for them, 
id just about the time we were put- 
ting the finishing touches on this issue, 
that’s exactly what we did. Some 70 of 
lued contributors joined us in 
the five-day Playboy Interna 
tional Writers’ Convocation. There were 
speeches, readings and panel discus- 
sions, and they were all fine; but the 
attraction for the wi and for 
us—was the pleasure of one another 
company. Were glad we did it, and we 
think they are, too. (January seems a 
good time to talk about the esteem 


which we hold our writers and their 


fresh in our minds but because it’s in 
this issue that we announce Playboy's 
Annual Writing 2 a tangible 
form of tr 

At one of the Convocation dinners, 
Washington Post columnist. Niche 


panions was John Cheever, “Three damn 
feet away.” Von Hofiman said later. “Do 
you know how much I admire that 
man’s work? I thought to myself, what 
am I doing sittin same table as 
ly the silence got preay 
awkward, so I started to talk about the 
shrimp cocktail oy some damned thing. 1 
can't get over it. John Cheever!" Well, 
here's Cheever—a National Book Award 
nd bestselling author many 
times over with this month's lead fiction, 
Artemis, the Honest Well Digger, the 
tale of a simple workman who has cold 
thrown on his romance. At the Con- 
er told us about his 
пу project: teaching English to 
inmates at Sing Sing. He's dismayed by 
the fact that “the inmates are only al- 
lowed to write to immedi atives, 
even to the exclusion of common-law 
wives’—but plans to stick with 

Cheever's Artemis, who believes that 
water is at the root of all civilizations, 
would be, we believe, as fascinated as we 
е by Richard Rhodes's compelling 
count of what mucking around 
water is doing to one of America's unique 
natural wonders. Over lunch at the 


this guy? F 


est. 


e ore 


GRAVES 


ШШ ШЇЇ 
[ TM 


NEIMAN 


INTERLANDI 


RUSSELL 


OATES BRADBURY 
Convocation, Rhodes described his reac- 
tion to the assignment that resulted in 
The Killing of the Everglades: "1 have a 
special feeling about the wilderness, 1 
suppose because 1 grew up close to the 
land, on a farm in Missouri. Bue I had 
never walked through a swamp before, 
and it does something to you.” Rhode: 
unlike some hard-line conservationists, is 
able as well to sympathize with those 
who believe land is here to be used. "It's 
a terrible paradox,” he said. “II you build 
a road, you may very likely destroy the 
thing you wanted to see at the end of it.” 
Another pair of Convocation guests, 
philosopher Alan Watts and science- 
factand-fiction expert Arthur С. Clar 
join herewith in a Playboy Dialog, At 
the Interface: Technology and Mysli- 
cism, Watts and Clarke had not met 
before PLAYBOY got them together for a 
marathon talk fest at New York's Chel- 
sea Hotel. “Whe odd thing,” 
recalled (from a contemplative post- 
Convocation position in Hefner's under- 
ground swimming pool), “was thar Arthur 
came from Ceylon and I from Calilornia, 
and we both turned up on that steaming- 
hot day in Manhattan wearing sarongs. 
‘They hit it off tremendously. Staff Write 
ank M. Robinson, who coordinated 
the project, reports: “Both Clarke, the 
buttondown Englishman, and Watts, the 
West Coast guru, are entranced by gadg- 
ets. Clarke had a miniature laser, and 
one night we stood on the roof of the 


hotel and flashed it down onto the side- 
walk below. The effect was a half-dollar- 
red circle of red light on the pavement. 


coming from nowhere. A drunk came 
along and did a little dance with й 

A different sort of dialog 
dual monolog.—is presented by The New 
York Times's Н, bury and 
NBC-TV's John Chancellor, in The News 
Media: Is That All There Is? The Pulitzer 
Prize » Salish 
the Times's “Op-Ed” page, and Chancel- 
lor, anchor man for NBC's nightly news, 
amine their fields’ sins of omission 
and commission in the light of an un- 
friendly Adm handed ef- 
forts at news m: 

Censorship is a dirty word to news 
men, but the Chicago Tribune's movie 

itic, Gene Siskel, exposes i 
side in An Interview with the Gensor. 
Would-be censor Spiro Agnew h de 
his suggestions about what the Times 
do with itself: Chicago artist James 
has а bener ide What to 
Do with the Sunday New York Times 


nr ow edits 


y, who 


nistration's ham- 


gement 


humorous 


m; 


TULLIUS HOOKER 


d. furthermore, it's ecologically 
sound. Higa, who confesses to “a life- 
long compulsion to play with paper,” is 
planning to market his designs in kits. 

In this issue, we offer works by two 
highly skilled practitioners of the new— 
or newly revived—art of personal jour- 
nalism: Garry Wills and F. P. Tullius, 
both of whom were Convocation guests, 
Wills, a classicist-turned-syndicated. col- 
umnist, gives us Im Busted!, the mod- 
ern horror story of how the marijuana 
laws resulted in the piece-by-piece de- 
struction of an American family. Tullius 
has lived in San Glemente—the subject 
of his A Clean, Well-Lighted Place of 
White Houscs—for ten years. “I'm a 
native Californian; just like Nixon,” he 
says, “except he grew. up around Whi 
ier and 1 grew up in Pasadena. We 
considered Whittier hopelessly banal 

айа and glimpsed it only when 
ig to the beach." 
In The Moment of Truth, sev 
aries from the world of sport describe 
their sensations when faced with chal- 
lenge in their ultracompetitive fields. 
From the playing fields of commerce, 
Chicago management consultant Allan 
Cox gives us Confessions of a Corporate 
Head-Hunter, which will be amplified in 
a book he's writing. 

‘This month's inten 
maine Greer, who was 
without incident—by As 
Editor Nat Lehrman to her remed farm 
house in the Tuscan town of Corton: 
His Fiat—sans Lehrman—rolled 
down a terraced mountains 
remained, on all fours, until some neigh- 
boring farmers dug a new road for 
Lehrman so he could drive out 
result is а contentious and si 
interview—in which, coincidentally, Dr. 
Greer explores many of the points covered 
by Gina Allen and Clement Ман 
M. D., in What's Your Intimacy Quotient? = 
Dr. Martin, a California imernist, and wu 
Miss Allen, a science writer, are collabo- 
rating in private sex counseling; they have of | 
recorded some of their findings in Intima- 
cy, Sensitivity, Sex, and the Art of Love, 
published by Henry Regnery last October. 

Alternative views on scx are offered by 
Robert Graves, who in My First Amo- 
vous Adventure advances the proposi- 
tion that conversation 
provocative, should ha 
by our old M*A*S*H friends, who find 
that everybody's talking about it—and 
New England. Who Stuck 
the F*ESA*G in Reverend Titcomb? 
will appear in the novel M*4*8*H Goes 
to Maine, to be published by Morrow 
next month. Its author, Richard Hooker, 


n lum SERED 


e its limits, 


GRABOWSKI and URBA 


was another Convocation guest: he turned 
out to be, unlike Hawkeye, softspoken 
but—in real life—like Hawkeye, a tho- 
racic surgeoi 
Additional fiction offerings this month 
lude Joyce Carol Oatess The Loves 
of Franklin Ambrose, illustrated by 
Vincent Arcilesi, and Ray Bradbury 
he Parrot Who Met Papa. From Lon 

don, where she's enjoying а year on 
bbatical with her husband—and the re- 
views for her latest book, Wonderland— 
Miss Oates told us that Franklin Ambrose, 


i atieaipe co deal in aser 
¡cal way with current mor- 
problems." Of Parrot, Bradbury say 
t's obvious I love Hemingway's work 
very much; my Parrot is one more gift to 
his memory." 

Sexometrics 


is a program designed 
by Assistant Art Director Bob Post th: 
mot to be confused with ema 
might seen on J 
show. Post claims to have gone. through 
the workout: we ms charge him space 


ontributing. Editor Ray Russell 
ines the phenomenon, with photos of the 
rds as visualized by Associate Picture 
Editor Marilyn Grabowski and Stall 
Photographer Alexas Urba, in Tarot: A 
Fresh Look at an Arcane Art. A unique- 
ly rıAvnoy way of looking at the past 
is offered by Judith, Wax in That Was 
Year That Was, illustrated (as is 
The Killing of the Everglades) by Bill 
Utterback. 

England provides the setting for Le- 
Roy Neiman's Man at His Leisure visit 
to Sotheby's and for Take Me to Your 
Tailor, by Robert Morley, whose Morley 
Meets the Frogs is a current PLAY BOY writ- 
ingaward winner (see page 212). His 
lor, we trust, did not provide the 
Phil Interlandi’s 


лувоү f 
Contribut- 
whose 72 
ute 


Interlandi is а longtime 
vorite; so, to say the Ica 
g Editor Ken W. Рич 
articles and stories for PLAYBOY com 
the house record. Our first Purdy piece 
April 1957’s The Compleat Sports 
Car Stabl this isue, he gets © 
more compleat with The Playboy Car 
Stable. To round out the issue, we have 
Playboy's Playmate Review, Playmate 
Marilyn Cole, a pictorial on Stanley 
Kubrick's new film, 4 Clockwork Orange, 
and Thomas Mario's By Dawn's Early 
Light, a breakfast calculated to start the 
new year right. Here's looking at you! 


PLAYBOY. JANUARY. 
Minois oeit. 


1972, VOLUME w, 
SECOMD.CLASS POSTAGE PAID AT CHICAGO, 


ILLINOIS, AND AT ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES 


In RATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS 
SUBSCRIPTIONS: Im 


зів NORTH MICHIGAN AVENUE, CHICAGO, 
нр STATES, ию FOR ONE YEAR, 


FLAYSOY BUILDING, 
THE 


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Regular: 16 mg “tar; 1.1 mg, nicotina--Menthol: 12mg," tar;',9 mg. nicotine av: per cigarette, ЕТС Report Aug. 71 


vol. 19, no. I—january, 1972 


PLAYBOY. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL 2 eae — 3 
DEAR PLAYBOY... x €— z ATI 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS А nn el 
BOOKS... уст 22 
MOVIES н jc cc . 28 
RECORDINGS en soe seme ELD 
THEATER а — 36 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. ms een) 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM 22-27 e he - 45 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: GERMAINE GREER—candid conversation .......... е 


ARTEMIS, THE HONEST WELL DIGGER—fiction JOHN CHEEVER 84 
THE PLAYBOY CAR STABLE— modern Ii: = 5 KEN W. PURDY 88 
MY FIRST AMOROUS ADVENTURE—aı ROBERT GRAVES 91 
THE PARROT WHO MET PAPA—ficiion .. RAY BRADBURY 92 
AT THE INTERFACE: 

TECHNOLOGY AND MYSTICISM—dialog....ARTHUR C. CLARKE ond ALAN WATTS 94 
WHAT'S YOUR INTIMACY 


QUOTIENT? —quiz GINA ALLEN ond CLEMENT MARTIN, M.D. 98 
THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS—humor JUDITH WAX 101 
TAROT: A FRESH LOOK AT AN ARCANE ART—article RAY RUSSELL 102 
THE KILLING OF THE EVERGLADES— article RICHARD RHODES 112 
SEXOMETRICS—humor = -.....BOB POST 117 
THE NEWS MEDIA: IS THAT ALL THERE 15?—articles > 120 

ELECTRONIC JOURNALISM .......... 0... JOHN CHANCELLOR 121 

PRINT JOURNALISM. HARRISON SALISBURY 121 
FASHIONED FOR THE FUTURE—ottire 123 
AN INTERVIEW WITH THE CENSOR—humor = GENE SISKEL 129 
THE TITH-HOUR SANTA—gifis E 131 
BODY ENGLISH—playboy's playmate of the month - 136 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor е 144 
THE LOVES OF FRANKLIN AMBROSE—fiction JOYCE CAROL OATES 146 


WHAT TO DO WITH THE SUNDAY NEW YORK TIMES—humer : 149 
THE MOMENT OF TRUTH—symposium JOE FRAZIER, AL UNSER, JOHN BRODIE, 
VIDA BLUE, MARTY LIQUORI, LARRY MAHAN. KAREEM ABDUL JABBAR 155 


BY DAWN'S EARLY LIGHT—food and drink THOMAS MARIO 158 
A CLEAN, WELL-LIGHTED PLACE OF WHITE HOUSES —orticle F P. TULIUS 161 
CONFESSIONS OF A CORPORATE HEAD-HUNTER—article _. AUAN COX 167 
VARGAS GIRL—pictorial s = ALBERTO VARGAS 169 
Мауна ROVE SOTHEBY'S—man at his leisure... un LEROY NEIMAN 171 
PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW. pictorial . * sc ту» 
THE EXHIBITIONISTS —humor. ОСЗ toms PHIL INTERIANDI 189 


IM BUSTED!— or = пася 3 GARRY WILLS 196 
WHO STUCK THE F+L: A-G IN REVEREND TITCOMB? —fiction... RICHARD HOOKER 199 


KUBRICK'S “CLOCKWORK ORANGE" —pictoriol ...... А 200 
ТАКЕ МЕ TO YOUR TAILOR—humer -ROBERT MORIEY 207 
LETTER FROM A LIBERATED WOMAN—ribald classic... 208 
PLAYBOY'S ANNUAL WRITING AWARDS... un 2 212 
ON THE SCENE—personal ST е 220 
Future Fashions 123 PLAYEOY POTPOURRI — x 228 


GENERAL OFFICES: FLAYEOY BUILDING. 919 NORTH MICHIGAN AVE. CHICAGO. ILLINOIS 60611. RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS. DRAWINGS AND PHOTO. 
GRAPHS SUBMITTED IF THEY ARE TO BE RETURNED AND NO RESPONSIDILITY CAM BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT TO PLAYBOY WILL CE 
TREATED AS UNCONOITIONALLY ASSIGNED FOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYROY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND TO COMMENT EDITOMIALLY 
CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 1971 BY PLAYBOY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLAYBOY AND RABBIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS OF PLAYBOY. REGISTERED U $ PATENT OFFICE. MARCA REGISTRADA, 
MAROUE BEPOSEE BOTHING MAY DE REPRINTED IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES 1н THE 
FICTION ANO SEMIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL PEOPLE AND PLACES 15 PURELY COINCIDENTAL. CREDITS: COVER: PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL ARSENAULT. OTHER 
PHOTOGRAPHY вт: BILL ARSEnAULT. P эз, 220 (2): DON ALUMN. т. 120: BANMER AND BUNNS, INC. тъ 130199, SIEVE BLUESTONE, P. 4; MAMO CAMELI f. 3, 175 (4) 
ата, Wi, 185. 108: DAVID CHAK, P. 3. 175 (2), 177, їр: ALAN CLIFTON, P. 3 (3), үза, 212, 21% JEFF COMEN. P. а, 221. 229. MCHARO FEGLE. Р. 18-00. 95 
BILL FRANTZ. P. 4; LOUIS GOLDMAN, P. 221. DWIGHT HOOKER. P. 3 (2). 4. 175 (2), 179. 184. 220; CARL IRI P. MEL KASPAR, P. 131-133, PETER MIKALAJUNAS, 
P465 PATRICK MORIN, P 61: FRED MELSON, P 201. LEIF-ENIK NYGARDS, P i 1 BARRY O'ROURKE, P. 3, H2: POMPEO POSAR, P. 175 (3), M0, 181, 187, 
ALAN тооз. P. 212: BILL REDER, P рли; SUZANNE SECO, P. d: RON SEYMOUR. 4 JOHN “зин. P. d; MASON РНШР SMITH. PL 
VERNON L sumu, P 3 (2). 4. 212. 3 GAL SUMNER. P. IU ALEXAS URNA. P 100.81. MM 175, 176, 228; TED WOODARD. P. 4 JERRY VULSMAN, Р. 1 


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PLAYBOY 


HUGH М. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


A. C, SPECTORSKY 
associale publisher and editorial director 


ARTHUR PAUL art director 
JACK J. KESSIE managing editor 


VINCENT T. TAJIRI photography editor 


EDITORIAL 
SHELDON WAX, MURRAY FISHER, NAT LEHRMAN 
assistant managing editors 

ARTICLES: ARTHUR KREICHMER edilor, 

DAVID BUTLER associate editor 

FICTION: ROME MACAULEY editor, SUZANNE 
MC NEAR, STANLEY PALEY assistant editors 
SERVICE FEATURES: TOM OWEN modern 
living editor, ROGER WIDENER, RAY WILLIAMS 
assistant editors; KOERT L. GREEN fashion 
director, warre not мез fashion coordinator, 
DAVID PLATT associate fashion editor; 

REG POTTERTON associate travel editor; 
THOMAS MARIO food & drink editor 

STAFF: DAVID SIEAENS senior edilor 

GEOFFREY NORMAN, FRANK M. ROBINSON 

DAVID STANDISH, CRAIG VETTER Staf] writers; 
WILLIAM J- HELMER, GRETCHEN MC NEFSE, 
ковект J. SHEA associale editors; 
LAURA LONGLEY BANN, DOUGLAS BA 
DOUGLAS C. BENSON, TOMA J. COHEN, 

ARNIE WOLFE assistant editors; J. PAUL GETTY 
(business © finance), NAT MENTOEE, MICHAEL 
LAURENCE, RICHARD WARREN LEWIS, KEN W 
PURDY, RAY RUSSELL, JEAN SHEPHERD, RENNETIE 
TYNAN, ТОМІ UNGERER contributing editors; 
MICHELLE URRY associate cartoon editor 
COPY: ARLENE nounAs editor 

SEAN AMBER assistant editor 

RESEARCH: BERNICE Т, ZIMMERMAN editor 
ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICES: 

THEO FREDERICK personnel director; 

PATRICIA PAPANCELIS righis & permissions; 
MILDRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant 


ART 
п. MICHEL SISSON exectitive assistant: 
M STAEBL KERIG POPE associate directors; 
пов HOST, ROY MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET 
SUSKI, GORDON MORTENSEN. FRED NELSON, 
JOSEVH PACZER assistant directors; 
SALLY BARER, VICTOR HUBBARD, 
KAREN Yors art assistants 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
BEV CHAMBERLAIN, ALFRED DE BAT, 
MARILYN GRANOWSKI associate editors; 
BILL ARSENAULT, DAVID CHAN, RICHARD 
FICLEY, DWIGHT HOOKER, РОМЕО POSAR, 
ALENAS Urns staff photographers; 
сла nu asociate ма photographer 
MIKE com photo lab chief; LEO KRIEGI 
color chief; JANICE BERKOWITZ clue] stylist 
PRODUCTION 
JOHN MASTRO director; ALLEN VARGO 
ER, RIFA JOHNSON, 

ELIZABETH FOSS, GERRIT NUIG assistants 

READER SERVICE 
CAROLE сили; director 


CIRCULATION 
THOMAS С. WILLIAMS customer services 
ALVIN WIEMOLD subscription manager; 
VINCENT THOMPSON newsstand manager 


ADVERTISING — 
HOWARD W. LEDEREK advertising director 
+ PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
комент s. PREUSS business manager and. 
associate publisher; RICHARD s. ROSENZWEIG 
executive assistant to Ihe publisher; 
RICHARD M. когг editorial administra! 


PLAYBOY, January 1972, Volume 19, Number T. 
Published monthly by Playboy, Playboy Bldg. 
919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, Hlinois 60611 


rum. You can 
drink it like 


ike whiskey. 


ink rum like whiskey? Sure. You 
Bacardi dark rum has a very 
kind of underplayed flavor, One 
that's dry not sweet. And. aging 
lakes Bacardi smooth and mellow. 
So you can drink it on the rocks or in 
highballs as enjoyably as some peo- _ 
ple drink whiskey. Of course, if you 
- prefer it with cola, stay with it. After 


all, we're out to make new friends. 
Not lose old ones. 


BACARDI,rum.The mixable one. 


PLAYBOY 


When you buy the Electronic Timex, 
the automatic calendar is standard equipment. 


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*Regulation may be necessary lo achieve this accuracy 


And it's standard equipment in all six styles. 
The Electronic Timex. 
It hasa tiny replaceable energy cell that gives 
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A jump-sweep second hand that counts off 
the seconds, one by one. 
The Electronic Timex. 
It's rugged, water-resistant and dust-resistant 


sagoreva The Electronic TIMEX. $50. 
No winding. Transistorized for accuracy. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ED tonnes praveoy MAGAZINE - PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


ROSY FUTURE? 

I am considering taking action against 
Poul Anderson for writing More Futures 
than One (PLAYBOY, October). Such clair- 
voyance, such insight—or  Eur-sight— 
into the future can have been obtained 
only by a time machine. And everyone 
knows time machines are illegal. What 
right has this writer to reveal to us the 
world of what is to be—even if the 
picture he draws of the year 2000 is a 
reassuring one of an earth gone sanc? I 
only regret that many of us will not be 
around to verify the developments he 
has outlined. 


Minneapolis, Minnesota 
Jacobi has been writing—and selling 
—science-fiction stories since the Thirties. 


Id like you to know how pleased I 
was both with Anderson's article, which 
is a fine answer to a good deal of the 
doom aying we hear so often, and with 
ъслувоү for showing an interest in this 
type of article. rrAYBov has always led 
the field with its special relationship to 
science fiction and science-fiction writers. 
Gordon R. Dickson, Past President 
Science-Fiction Writers of America 
Twin City Airport, Minnesota 


The concept of utopia is an age-old 
dream—and one as far from reality now 
as it has ever been, The thing lacking 
n Anderson's glimpse into the future 
that invalidates his depiction is the 
same thing that makes it impossible to 
solve our present problems—and that is 
the will of the people to make it happen. 
This is particularly true of the people 
who could make it happen, the ones 
who have the power but who will not 
and have never used power lor any 
purpose other than to retain it. Human 
nature has not changed in the couse of 
recorded history and will пос change 
until there is a complete alteratio 
in accepted values. The human race, 
built as it is, will never be able to 
work in total harmony, and not all your 
computers, robots, paternal governments 
and scientific gimmickry can alter that 
asic fact. Anderson's wishful portrayal 
of the future is totally unreal and his 
statement that all differences will no 
longer matter is touchingly naive. There 
will always be something that matters, to 
someone, to some group, and they will 
care enough about it to refuse to toe the 


line. And those in power, of course, will 
make sure they do. Human nature works 
that way. 
E. C. Tubb 
London, England 
Among Tubb’s most recent sci-fi efforts 
are “Lalla” and “Kalin.” 


Whenever anyone lulls to sleep again 
even one person newly aroused to the 
ecology crisis, that is a direct threat to 
me and my world. The message used to 
be: Hush, now, and tomorrow you'll 
wake up in Jesus’ arms. Now it seems to 
be: Don't fret, they'll take cue of every- 
thing for us. They handled things so 
well that we are facing earth-wide cata- 
strophic water shortages through spoiled 
sources; a soaring population that will 
continue to soar even with the most 
suingent controls, simply because those 
alive now will reproduce themselves and 
Decause the death rate continues to de- 
crease in most parts of the world; and 
radioactive wastes in the millions of tons, 
ich continue to accumu 

ing rate. Since the beginning of the 
century, 70,000,000 people have been 
killed as a result of wars, "Ehe list of things 
showing the cffects of such expert care is 
virtually endless, the long-term results, 
nearly without exception, disastrous. But 
in the future, they will do better, solve 
all the problems tormenting us today. 
bring about a utopia where we'll all 
wake up in Jesus arms or, at the very 
least, in a world where the only going 
crime will be a little free sex. Oh, hell! 

Kate Wilhelm 
Madeira Beach, Florida 


І have long enjoyed the science-fiction 
stories of Poul Anderson, but if More 
Futures than One is intended as a 
serious forecast, 1 сап only ascribe to 
Anderson a kind of heroic naïveté. 
The year 2000, in which he sets his 
quasi utopia, is less than 30 years aw 
and he has painted his picture of life in 
a future America ау if that America 
could exist in a vacuum, independent of 
what is happening or is likely to happen 
in other parts of the world. It is, per 
haps, platitudinous to remind him that 
there is a relationship between the pro- 
portion of hungry bellies in Asia and 
the social, economic and military secu- 
rity of the United States of America, 
However, let us look at some of the facts 
he appears to have ignored. Our global 


PLAYBOY, JANUARY. 1972, VOLUME 19 
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population is well over three and a 1 
billion, About 350,000,000 fam 
engaged in farming, but more than two 
thirds of them haye only wooden plow: 
At present, gross food production 
creasing at an annual rate of one per- 
cent, but the yearly growth in population 
is at the rate of two percent. Even if 
it were possible to resolve immediately 
all the political and religious differences 
that inhibit material progress, even if it 
were posible to abolish immediately all 
racial tensions, it would still not be 
possible to construct in less than 30 
years the kind of self-regulating society 
that Anderson confidently anticipate: 
Gods may work miracles; men cannot— 
not even Anderson's superscientists nor 
the generation he has imagined that 
seems to have developed enlightened 
selt- interest as а form of mass hypnosis. 
Edmund Cooper 
Arundel, Sussex, England 
Cooper is the author of “Deadly Image. 


RUSSIAN QUARTET 
Though I read poetry constantly, I 
was especially enchanted and moved by 
Yevgeny Yevtushenko's Four New Poems 
(etavnoy, October). I couldn't say just 
where the magic was nor the poignan- 
9—0 I suppose it is the sad emotional 
content and the fecling he implies. 
Taylor Caldwell 
Buffalo, New York 
Among novelist Janct Miriam Taylor 
Holland Caldwell's best-known works are 
“Dear and Glorious Physician” and “A 
Prologue to Love.” 


THE SKIN GAME 
As a viewer of pornographic films. I was 
titillated by The Porno Girls (PLAYBOY, 
October). Being a student presently tak- 
1G a sociology course focusing on subcul- 
tures, I was fascinated by the sel-imposed 
occupational moral code the performers 
share. Their refusal to perform certain 
formal standards 
xpecied in relation to work of this 
ture. Frankly, 1 am puzzled by th 
acceptance of Lesbianism and the 
tolerance of male homosexuality, which, 
ironically enough, reflects society at large. 
Thomas E. Sites 
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania 


physical ааъ creates 


Your youthful porno stars describe 
their audience as “middleclass business- 
men jealous of the youth scene.” “terri 
ble, gross men jacking off in the theater’ 
and “potential sex deviates.” Now, from 
whom did these comments come? Well. 
there's S h, a runaway at 17, whose 
husband thinks her career is “pretty 
funny.” Another "finds selbanalysis 
a complete waste of time,” a state 
ment often made by disturbed people. 
Still another supplements her welfare 
income working on filthy beds for $35 а 
day in films on which thousands upon 


thousands of dollars will be made, And 
lr the star who thinks you can 
really score points at a party by mei 
tioning you worked in a porno film. 
The absolute party stopper: God, how 
sad. What are the qualifications for act- 
ing in porno films? Are there such things 
pregnancy clauses? Are there checks 
for gonorrhea, syphilis, trichomoniasi 

lice? Is there a company doctor? If not, 
do the actresses inspect their male co-stars 
for chancre sores? Do they think about 
this at all when it comes to the a 
ty-gritty? Do they think? Please don 
interview these bodies anymore. Pos 
them, photograph them, show off their 
one commodity and single skill. But spare 
us the probing of their pathetic little 
brains. Learn something from my genera 
tion. We never gave our stag performers 
any dialog. We knew they had nothing 
to say. 


Henry F. Szafarz 

Boston, Massachusetts 

Award-winning documentary-film_ pro- 

ducer Szafarz" movies have appeared on 
Danish and. American television. 


LEGAL EAGLES 
A.C.L.U.—Let There Be Law 
(rLavnoy, October) was a most flattering 
article and yet not blindly so. Peter An 
drews painstakingly balanced his report by 
revealing the skeletons in the A. C. L. U 
closet: the evasive response to Joc Me 
Carthy and the abandonment of the ir 
ned Japanese during World War Two. 
Those skeletons are the property of the 
ional A. C. L. U., which anticipated the 
or by more than a decade when, in 
adopted a resolution prohibiting 
Communists from becoming employees 
and board members. The Northern Cal 
fornia affiliate, however, refused to con- 
cur with this resolution and, in addition, 
opposed relocation and provided counsel 
for interned Japanese, Germans and Hal 
orders. 
Iti k, worth setting the record 
straight on the Northern California affili- 
nd the Japanese internment, because 
of us: “The Northern 
California affiliate operates almost en- 
tirely autonomously.” That overstates ihe 
but we do jealously protect our 
independence. From history, you can see 
that if the A.C. L, U. was to act mono- 
lithically, it would necessarily betray its 
mission. From dissent comes truth. 
Paul N. Halvonik, Legal Directo 
A.C. L. U. of Northern Californi; 
San Francisco, California 


ns who came under relocati 


? 


ICTION VERIT] 
I found Evan Hunters The Sardinian 
Incident (eLaynoy, October) a compelling 
but somewhat frustrating piece of fiction. 
‘The interview format made reading it dra 
matic and rapid, but when I finished, I 
was left with a slightly uneasy fee 

Somehow the portrait of the autho 


film director who thinks actors are ma- 
chines and journalists are fools struck me 
as unrealistic. But maybe Hunter is play- 
ing games with his protagonist as well 
with his audience. And if he is, he certai 
ly fooled me. Nevertheless, the story 
wonderfully—and powerfully—told. 
Larry Morey 
Boulder, Colorado 


TOP RATED 

I would like to congratulate Larry 
Tritten on the tremendous insight he dis- 
plays in A Snob’s Guide to TV (PLAYBOY, 
October). I found it most enlightening. 1 
do think, however, he omitted some rather 
pertinent facıs about Mission: Impossible. 
To view the show properly, one must have 
a distinct knowledge of the inner workings 
of an elevator shaft, a definite awareness 
of the nomenclature of screwdriver 
(metal, not liquid), 42 pairs of custom- 
tailored coveralls and а nasal-passage 
strength powerful enough to endure the 
potent fumes that waft through the end- 
less tunnels found under castles, palaces 
and various offices and abodes of enemy 
gents. 


Greg Morris 
Hollywood, California 
Morris has been "Mission: Impossi 
bles” magical fix-it man since the series 
began. 


MR. MEAN 

Your October article on Butkus, “the 
meanest man al as great. Arthur 
Kreichmer really nailed him—just the 
ay Butkus nails nearly everybody who's 
crazy enough to carry a football anywhere 


ar the way Butkus manages to be all over 
the field, almost as if he can smell where 
going before it happens, and 
Kreidumer's article helped explain how 
he docs it: He's simply ay mean, tough 
and savvy as a football player gets. Many 
thanks for the inside view of Mr. 
Football. 


Pete Kowalski 
Chicago, Ш 


lois 


On the pla back from New 
Orleans after the 49er—Saint game, I read 
Arthur Kretchmers Butkus. The next 
time you want to publish an article o 
professional football's best linebacker, 
take a poll of the N. F. L. players first. 
They'll tell you to write about Tommy 
Nobis of the Atlanta Falcons, 

Ken Willard 
San Ramon, Californi 

Willard is one of the San Francisco 

49ers’ star running backs, 


ride 


GOING, GOING, GONE 

1 as impressed by Lewis Coulow’s 
Twilight of the Primitive (eLavsoy, Octo- 
ber) as I was horrified by its content. 
1 agree that civilization has benchts, but 


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PLAYBOY 


M 


when 30,000 Amazonian Indians dic just 
can have rubber for boots and 
is no longer a benefit, As I see 
it, it is murder and makes our society 


Chris Allen 
Willowdale, Ontario 


EVALUATING EVERS 
Since the murder of his courageous 
brother Medgar, I have followed Charles 
Evers with intense interest—and thot 
oughly enjoyed your October interview 
with him. He is an extremely proud and 
honest man, like his father, and he 
possesses a political fervor and ambition 
reminiscent of the late Senator Robert 
Kennedy. Evers is sincere in his efforts to 
make this state a success both socially and 
economically, though the odds admittedly 
against him to win the election, White 
Mississippians shudder at the thought of 
a black man and his family moving into 
the Statehouse in Jackson. After all, what 
will the neighbors say? 
Lt. Thomas Т. Prousalis 
Keesler AFB, Mi 


Thank you for your interview with 
Charles Evers. It exposed the venom and 
filth eman ig from white Mississip] 
while painting a very real and unbri- 
died picture of a very sincere and in- 
tense political leader. It disclosed the 
horror and nightmare of growing up 
black during an uncivilized time and 
revealed the true nature of a twisted Jus- 
tice Department and a misguided FBI. 
But, most of all, you have made life much 
harder for Evers’ enemies. For if, heaven 
forbid, he is gunned down, this interview 
will serve as the indictment of a Govern- 
m that has failed to protect human life 
and of a nation that can no longer control 
those forces secking to forever destroy its 
freedom and democracy. 

Bruce Nyman, President 
Long Beach Young Democrats 
Long Beach, New York 


As a lifelong resident of Mississippi, I 
y disagree with Evers. Most of the 
w centered on his childhood or 
ne he spent in Chicago. During the 
years he grew up, the Depression and war 
years, life was rough for everyone, black 
or white. While he was in Chicago, Evers 
an underworld policy runner, boot- 
legger and head of a prostitution y 
If he got away with it in Chicago, he will 
probably try it in Mississippi sooner or 
later. He also said that a white n 
could get away with murdering a black 
man in Mississippi. 1f that were the case, 
there would be no blacks here. 

Don Upton 

Columbus, Mississippi 


I thought the Evers interview was one 
of the best of any kind I've ever read. 
Maybe I appreciated it so much because 
I am black. There were times while 


reading it when I could actually feel 
tears well up in my eyes. Not only for 
Charles Evers, nor for his brother, nor 
the numerous others for whom the same 
experience is firsthand, but for sick 
America and for every black man here, 
because though it's sick, this is the near- 
est thing to a home we have. But when 
it gets so that you're afraid to go to 
sleep in your own house or you're forced 
to teach your children war tactics of 
hitting the floor fast at the sound of 
strange noises, surely that man cannot 
possibly call where he lives home. I'm 
currently serving in the Air Force in 
Germany. Maybe I, too, have a lot of 
the old and the new Charles Evers in 
me. But is America my home? Or is it 
jux the closest thing I have to one? Is 
the black man truly a man without a 
country? I don't know, but I wish ever 
body could read your interview. 

Clyde B. Akins 

APO New York, New York 


terview loosened 


Reading the Evers 


some old skeletons from my own closets. 
Tl have to write the story one day. but 
for now, let me recount some incidents 
from my racist childhood, beginning in 
3. I was 13 when Medgar Evers was 
ing, "Well, I guess 
ame 


that'll show them niggers.” That 
year, when President Kennedy was 
nated, my classmates and I cheered at 
the news of the shots in Da and 
cried, "I hope that goddamn nigger- 
lover dit When five black girls joined 
the student body of our white high 
school, we gleefully stole their purses 
and burned them in a nearby wash can. 
The next year (1966), my friends and I 
found Friday and Saturday nights were 
a good time to do some “nigger knocking 
If we forgot our eggs or baseball bats, 
ht try to pick up "some ole 
nigger whore.” From the ripe old age of 
21, I can safely say these acts were 
childish and immature. You might say 
that Mississi| a childish and imma- 
ture state: e, I will attempt to 
pay for some of the damage I have done 
by voting for Mister Evers in Noven 
id I hope the state will do likewise. 
Gerald M. Jones 
Columbus, Mississippi 


Aside from being an ex pimp, gambler 
and bootlegger, and having the football- 
size cojones to fight the red-neck opposi- 
tion of his state, what other credentials 
does Evers claim to qualify him to be 
mayor of his home town and perhaps 
governor of his state? The black people 
of Mississippi must be very hard up for 
leadership to rely on this self-confessed 
roué as their representative and symbol 
of pride and accomplishment. 
M /Sgt. Frank Bravo, U.S. A. F. 
Tamp: 
Evers was defeated in the gubernatorial 
race on November second. 


Perhaps the most interesting state- 
ment in ıhe Charles Evers interview wa 
that he could not change his un 
attitudes toward women. Not everyone 
treats women as inferiors. Evers’ own 
experience is one indication of how hard 
it is to change firmly entrenched attitudes. 
I wonde urbs him to know that 
he is as prejudiced in one respect as those 
people he seeks so valiantly to cha 
in another. 

Richard H. Woodward 

Spartanburg, South Carolin: 


ge 


are 


SOUPERLATIVE 
I read with absolute ecstasy Emanuel 
Greenberg's Souped Up Soups (eLavnoy, 
October). His ideas on cocktail soups were 
soupcrücially received until I came to 
the Gazpacho Martini soup. He had to 
be kidding, but he wasn’t. It's oue of 
the most innovative recipes I have ever 
served and by suggesting it, Greenberg 
enhanced my reputation as a superl: 
chef on a recent evening. In gratitude, 
Im sending you my recipe for gazpacho 
sans gin and vermouth. Emanuel Green- 
berg, you're souperb! 
Paul A. Andres, Vice-President 
Sey-Co Products € 
Van Nuys, Californ: 


YOU BET YOUR LIFE 

Immortality Is Fully Deductible 
(pLaxbox, October), by Craig Karpel, 
jokes about the cost of Ше, death and 
immortality but fails to appreciate that 
only the living can contemplate con 
cepts such as cost. There is no charge to 
the dead for anything. The cost of im 
mortality is academic. There is no al 
ternative, Either we become immortal or 


we dic, For those of us who don't wish to 


a desperate treatment, free 
suspension) after clinical death off 
chance for those who are 
enough to have to fac 
program of 


unfortun 


ed animation, wan plantation, an 
organology, resuscitation, regener 
and identity reconstruction. If we can 
support large-scale rescarch in these fields, 
we can become superintelligent, super- 
powerful beings capable of indefinitely 
prolonged youth, vigor and pleasure. 
When that time comes, there will be no 
charge for immortality—only for failure 
Saul Kent, Editor 
Immortality Magazine 
Cryonics Society of New York 
Sayville, New York 


To me, Karpel’s work raises a funda 
mental philosophical question: Are we 
committing an affront to our humanity 
when we try to assign human life an 


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economic value? A society that under 
stood realistic economics and the nature 
and destiny of man would unhcsitating 
ly reply in the affirmative. Man's uli- 
mate objective in the economic order is 
not production but consumption. His 
destiny is not to toil for subsistence but 
to produce through technology so he can 
be free to devote his mental and physi 
cal energies to the work of leisure. So. 
ciety, however, has never understood that 
man's economic struggle is temporary. It 
« of toil as a permanent necessi- 
nd elevated it to an extent that it 
has become the object of life rather than 
its means. Among these toil totems are 
such familiar assertions as the following: 
Human labor is the only real factor of 
production; everyone must serve in the 
work force, for only economic toil is 
meaningful; consumption is immoral 
unless k ted through the consum- 
rs personal toil. (the Ризаа work cur 
people are human resources and 
human capital; full emple 


ent of la 
hor should be the foremost goal of an 
vanced industrial economy (even il 

ital instruments, nor. people, produce 
the overwhelming preponderance of 
goods and services): ad infinitum. "The 
habit of thinking of people in economic 
terms is an anachronism from the pre- 
industrial past, when man's chief func- 


implies more ul 
zens who are bound involuntarily to the 
production process are mot free. They 
are industrial serfs. The ideal economic 
goal, in my view, is vicarious production 
through private ownership of the capital 
instruments that are replacing labor in 
production. Only when a hu 
has no economic value whatsoever will 
we have achieved the human ideal of 
freedom. 


пап E 


Louis O. Kelso 

Attorney at L 

San Francisco, wnia 

Writer, economist and educator Kelso 

has co-authored “The Capitalist’ Mani- 

festo" and “Two Factor Theory: The 
Economics of Reality.” 


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PLAYBOY 


AFTER HOURS 


eve never condoned drunk driving 
WU ss enn een drinking, and 
we've faithfully reported on the country's 
alcoholic problems in Forum Newsfront; 
but neither has PLAYBOY built up much 
of an image as a temperance journal— 
much less one preaching abstinence. So 
we confess our apprehension when we 
walked into Chicago's Pick-Congress Ho- 
tel to attend the 25th Triennial World 
Convention of the Women’s Christ 
Temperance Union. There, in an enor- 
mous ballroom, surrounded by septu- 
penarian  teetot fet a litle 
like a black spy at a Ku Klux Klan rally. 

Which reflects more on our precon- 
ceptions than on the ladies of the 
W.C.T.U. True, they are vulnerable 
to journalistic fun-making: white-haired 
grandmotherly types still denouncing 
Demon Rum and praying for the soul of 
Franklin Roosevelt for selling out to the 
liquor lobby in the election of 1932. 
And at the hotel, they not only inundat- 
ed the coffee shop but thoroughly dis- 
mayed the waitresses by leaving prayer 
cards instead of tips And of course 
there was the outgoing national presi 
dent of the W.C. T.U., Mis. Fred J. 
Toore, whose name compels most re- 
porters to add parenthetically, "rhymes 
with booze. 

But to our relief and pleasure, the 
ladies of temperance (or, more accu- 
vately, total abstinence), while still а 
dedicated as Cary Nation, turned out 
to be not only nonviolent but extremely 
gracious, gentle, good-natured and even 
humanitarian people motivated by 
suong desire to alleviate some of the 
world's more conspicuous. problems—so- 
cial, physical and moral, but especially 
alcoholic. Although we didn't ask, it was 
apparent that such dedication is often 
inspired by grim personal experiences 
associated with excessive drinking (some- 
one else's). There's not much thought, 
however, given to the question of cause 
and cffect—whether excessive drinking is 
the source or the symptom of a person's 
problems. And the tendency is to oppose 
liquor per se on the grounds that a per- 
son who can't find something to drink 
can't get drunk. 


ers. we 


Since this wasn't a position it seemed 
fruitful to dispute, we raised the ques- 
tion of drug abusc: Was this problem 
beginning to rival alcoholism, or per- 
haps even to supplant it, as a matter of 
М. С.Т. О. concern? We were advised, 
swiftly and accurately enough. that alco- 
hol is a drug, that alcohol addiction is a 
form of drug addiction and that the 
W.C. T. U. had, in any case, already de- 
clared its opposition to drugs—in 1892. 
We prudently refrained from debating 
the differences between marijuana and 
the addictive opiates: then, a little later, 
we elected not to argue the relative 
merits of prohibition versus regulation: 
and finally, we smiled noncommittally 
at the proposition that indulgence in 
one vice propels its helpless victim into 
catastrophic dependencies on many 
others. In short, we just kept our mouth 
shut and listened. And learned that, at 
least by W. C. T. U. reckoning, liquor is 
sull the launching pad to the remotest 
ruinations. 

We also learned some other things. 
ошату to most descriptions of dl 
doughry old organization, it's not popu- 
lated exclusively by the elderly widows 
of alcoholics. Of the 1000-plus parti 
pants at this world 
substantial number—maybe 200—were 
bright-eyed, clean-cut teenagers who get 
their kicks by waging war on every pop- 
ular vice from premarital sex to cigarettes, 
although booze obviously provides them 
with the greatest thrills of battle. Some are 
seasoned "combat veterans who have come 
up through the ranks: The W. C. T. U. 
has iis White Ribbon Recruits, infancy 
to the age of six, sworn to temperance 
by sponsors; its Loyal Temperance Le- 
ges six to 12; and its Youth 
Temperance Council, 13 and 
Whether the youngsters can replenish 
the citizen's army of elderly vice fighters 
remains to be seen, but they exhibit the 
kind of reckless enthusiasm one normally 
associates with teenaged revolutionaries. 
Which may qualify them as counter- 
revolutionaries. We brooded over the 
disquieting implications of that thought 
in the only uncrowded place at the 
hotel: the bar. Ordering a therapeutic 


convention, a 


gion, 


older, 


double martini on the rocks, we tossed it 
down much as Lawrence of Arabia must 
have done with his famous lemonade 
after crossing the Sahara. Guiltstricken, 
we removed the W, C. T. U. button that 
had been affixed to our lapel by an 
cager welcomer upstairs, and left it as 
a tip. 


Our Booby Boo-boo Award goes to 
Hunt Wesson Foods, ‘Toronto, which 
wanted the label for its new pork-and- 
beans product to be predominantly French 
for the Quebec market. The name was Big 
John's in English, Grand Jean in French. 
But Young & Rubicam, Hunt's agency, 
felt that Jean was an urbane name and 
didn’t convey Ше strong, woodsman image 
Hunt wanted to project. So it came up 
PPY 
= except a female copy writer in Y.£ Ros 
Montreal offic Hunt's 
president asking if anyone im Toronto 
was aware that, in Quebec, Gros Jos was 
ism for “big tits.” The prod 
uct was renamed Grand Jos. 


with Gros Jos, and everybody was | 


who wrote to 


a colloqui: 


We reluctantly record the latest nadir 
in taste: Aubrey Mayhew, owner of the 
Texas School Book Depository Building 
in Dallas, is charging 


admission for a 
from the sixth-Hloor window 
which the fatal shots were fired at John 
F. Kennedy. 


view from. 


Herb Caen's San Francisco Chronicle 
column reports that there's a carpenter 
at California's мше capitol in Sacr 
mento who. when the legislature is in 
session, works with muffs labeled 


BULLSHIT PROTECTOR. 


Months ago. the country's newspapers 
enlivened their inside pages with what's 
known in the trade as a 
item: Thousands of Malaysian. 
were “fighting to the death" because of 
some mysterious biological belligerence 
or territorial dispute, which the papers 
billed as a great frog ” Since then, 
scientists (who no doubt rushed to the 
scene of battle) have concluded that the 


human-interest 
frogs 


war. 


2 


PLAYBOY 


frogs were, in fact, making love, not war 
—and that the trouble erupted. only 
after their massive mating was invaded 
by some unwelcome toads. 

The district attorney of Oklahoma 
City recently authorized raids on several 
dult" bookstores and ordered the con- 
fiscated material burned in the Okla- 
homa County courthouse furnaces. Then 
the D.A. received a 5900 bill from the 
county for repairs. Seems that during 
the conflagration, the furnaces were 
“overloaded, overheated and remained 
too hot too long.” 

How's that again? A sign in a Man- 
hattan restaurant proclaims: оок FOOD 
CONTAINS ONLY THE PUREST ARTIFICIAL 
PRESERVATIVES. 


High Cost of Living, Bell, Book and 
Candle Division: In its list of course 
offerings, Denver Free University notes 
there is a 510.90 surcharge for course 
number Theory 
and Practice of Witcheraft. The school 
explai the 
costs of “candles, bats’ blood and other 
items which will be needed for the prac- 
tice part of the class” 


73—Introduction to 


the surcharge is to cover 


A coin-operated washer and drier has 
been installed at Sun Ray Hills, a family 


nudist resort near Burlington, Wiscon- 
—perhaps by the same guy who sells 


refrigerators to the Esk 


los. 

Despite the court decisions uncharita- 
bly prohibiting pornographic depictions 
of Walt Disney characters, the studio's 
troubles aren’t over yet. In Rocky River, 
Ohio, the manager of the Westgate Cine- 
called out at two A.N. to undo the 
oneletter xlteration—by pranksters—of 
his theater sign advertising WALT DISN 
$1,000,000 DUCK. 


ma was 


At last we have scientific evidence that 
music does not necessarily soothe the sav- 
age breast. A researcher for the President's 
Commission on Obscenity and Pornogra- 
phy concluded that young girls are sexual- 
ly susceptible to pop and rock music; that 
it “frequently serves as a catalyst for love 
and is thereby a stimulus for sexual 
arousal in the adolescent female.” (Let's 
not tell the Government that the music 
industry has already figured this out.) 


This note was attached to a five-and. 
half-foot toothbrush when, after its mys- 
terious disappearance, it was returned to 
a dental display at Fort Riley, Kans: 
“I would like to take this opportunity to 
extend to you a heartfelt thank-you for 
the use of this gargantuan and most 
magnificent green toothbrush. Little do 
you know how I suffered from the pain 


of tooth decay before finding а tooth- 
brush of significant dimensions. Sincere- 
ly, Jolly Green Giani 
Checkmate: A London shop owner 
has been arrested for displaying a chess 
set with all $2 pieces in sexual positions. 


BOOKS 


Ant, for better and for worse, is much 
affected by the currents of commerce. So, 
given the economic doldrums in which 
the nation has been floundering, it is 
not surprising that publishers have cut 
back on those fat, glossy, overpriced vol- 
umes that filled Christmas seasons of 
yore. Yet the discerning giftgiver may 
still find items in his bookshop that will 
prove at once a testament to his own 
taste and a tribute to the taste of the 
recipient. 

For a century 
seur of letters 
ner have, cach in his own manner, been 
finding pleasure "s Memoirs. 
Now the masterpiece of the 18th Centu 
туз great loveradventurerraconteur is 
t last. a full, authentic and 
slation by Willard R. 


nd a half, the connois- 


double volumes, individually slip- 
cased and enhanced by elegant engravings 
of the time, informative notes and a first- 
e index, In My Life and Times (Playboy 
Pres), that contemporary Casanova, 80- 

old Henry Miller, writes most en- 
bout his eventful career at the 
bed and elsewhere. Included 


usin 


and 20 of Miller's paintings in full color. 

Never let it be said that ownei-chef 
Louis Szathmáry of Chicago's renowned 
Bakery restaurant is one to keep his 
marvelous recipes to himself. The Chef's 
Secret Cook Book (Quadrangle) is chock- 
full of no-longerscact ways 10 prepare 
the dishes that have kept The Bakery high 
on most gourmets’ top t iss 
The instructi e crystal-clear, the 
linedrawing illustrations are superbly 
functional and the book also includes a 
large number of recipes from Chef Louis’ 
personal file. Feast of France (Crowell) is 
a 300 cl 


ns 


a hearty serving of more t ic 
French recipes by Antoine Gilly, for- 
mer propriétaire ol New York's respectful- 
ly remembered La Crémaillère. Assisted by 


met Jack Denton Scott. Gilly 
comes through with authority and charm 
whether he is applying himself to Huîtres 
Selle d'Agneau Mau- 
rice de Talleyrand, Cassoulet à la Pay- 
sanne or Crêpes Flambécs Confiture. To 
accompany this banquet, you might try 
Hugh Joh ily got up The World 
Atlas of Wine (Simon & Schuster), which 
combines a well-written text with 143 


full-color maps and reproductions of over 
1000 wine (and some liquor) labels to give 
you a concise yct definitive guide to the 
grape. 

Fans of the internal-combustion en- 
gine and all that goes with it have not 
been neglected this season. The American 
Cer Since 1775 (Dutton), assembled by 
the editors of Automobile Quarterly, ol- 
fers itself as “the most complete survey of 
the American automobile ever published” 
—which it may well be, considering that 
it begins with stcamcar experiments dur- 
ing the Revolutionary War and ends up 
with а listing of some 7000 vehicles. For 
his History of the Motor Car (Crown). Marco 
Matteucci goes back a bit further than 
1715, to 4000 s.c., when somebody in Ur 
got the idea for a wheel. More than 700 
illustrations. most in color, 
parade of facts. And Ralph $ 
American Avtomobile (Random House) fo- 
cuses in on the half century before 1910 
with shiny photos of crcations—Duesen- 
berg, Stutz, Pierce-Arrow, etc—“designed 
by men who put the stamp of their own 
genius upon the rich variety of their 
machines.” 

America's sports madness being what 

‚ onc can't go too far astray in prob 

the following at Christmastime. 
A Century of Sports (Hammond). by the 
Associated Press sports staff, takes you— 
in over 100 pages—from football through 
cricket and curling to equestrian events. 
The volume is liberally sprinkled with 
color and black-and-white photos. Focus- 
ing in far more sharply is Will Grimsley's 
Tennis: Its History, People and Events (Pren- 
tice-Hall)—everything you ever wanted 
to know about the game and maybe a 
litle more. It masterfully covers player 
and matches past and present. The most 
interesting section is “Styles of the 
Greats,” written by Julius D. Heldman, 
which contains 


Ashe, Jr. It’s a great book to dip into 
when you're licking your wounds after 
your forehand has become wretched, your 
backhand absurd and your net game 
nonexistent. 

From the folks at George Braziller, 
who brought you The Très Riches 
Heures of Jean, Duke of Berry and The 
Master of Mary of Burgundy, come two 
stimable additions to that fine art-book 
tradition. The Hours of Etienne Chevalier 
brings together 47 of the exquisite minia- 
tures that remain from the masterwork 
of Jean Fouquet, leader of the great school 
of miniaturists that adorned the life of 
Ti the mid-I5n Century. And 
The Grandes Heures of Jean, Duke of Berry, 
from about the same period, is the splen- 
did result of the duke's effort to collect 
a set of illuminations that would surpass 
everything he had previously owned. It 
is clear that he succeeded. 

The remarkable photographs by Max 
Waldman, sampled in our June 1971 
issue, make up Waldman on Theater 


Keep your spirits light this holiday. 


With Passport Scotch, the lightest, for fifths and quarts. Two holiday 
finest whisky Scotland has to offer. packages decorated with Passport 

And to brighten your holiday even stamps from all over the world. 
further, Passport has gift-wrapped its That's on the outside. Insii 
premium quality Scotch differently Scotch makes its own impre: 


SSS 


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SS 


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86 PROOF - 100% BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY ~ IMPORTED BY CALVERT DIST. CO., М.т.С. 


PLAYEOY 


(Doubleday). There are 358 black-and- 
tures here, inimitable int 
tations of scenes from such pla 
Marat/Sade, Dionysus in 69, A Moon 
for the Misbegotten and The Homecom- 
ing. As Clive Barnes writes in his intro- 
duction, “Waldman makes the image of 
the theater live on the insides of our 
brain. And this is no пи trick." No 
mean tricks either are two new Viking 
Stu Books by old hands at lens and 
shutter. Witness to Nature is a selection 
of Alfred Eisenstaedt’s pictures of sub- 
jects from insects to elephants in places 
from New England to Africa: and the 
redoubtable Не Cartier-Bresson is 
represented with his latest collection, 
titled Man end Mechine. To top things 
off pictorially, there is Faces of Our Time 
(University of Toronto Pres), 48 new 
(from Joan Bacz to Richard Nixon) and 
old (from Winston Churchill to Pablo 
Picasso) portraits by the celebrated Ca- 
nadian Yousuf Karsh, 

Т. S. Eliot's The Waste Land (Ha 
Brace Jovanovich) stands as one of the 
preeminent literary works of our cen- 
tury. Now E 
has resurrected the inal manu 
from its nesting place at the New Yor 
Public Library and has done a fastidious 
job of editing to make possible a facsimile 
volume. With notes and comments on thi 
original manuscript by Ezra Pound and 
by Eliot himself, this major publishing 
event provides a rare glimpse into the 
creative process. 

Kuow any Kids too young to remem- 
ber the grand old days of the grand old 


reourt 


ot's second wife, Valerie, 


pt 


comicstrip heroes, or amy adults too old 
to remember them? You can exempt 
them from your gift list [or Superman 


and Batman (Crown), a pair of outsized 
volumes that give a generous selection 
of the exploits of these foremost champi- 
ons of right and justice from the TI 
to yesterday. 

Among the varied talents of Tomi Un- 
ge is U of poster ma Just how 
gifted he is in this line is yours to 
appreciate in The Poster Art of Tomi Ungerer 
(New York Graphic). Here are hundreds 
of his wittiest creations, from preliminary 
sketches to the polished products. For a 
magnificent assortment of the posters of 
another contemporary artist of note, have 


а look at Picasso's Posters (Random Hous 
Absolutely stunn 
Then 


Still not satisfied? 
Picasso: le Gout du Bonheur 
tite of Happy, Playful and 
* done by Picasso in 196: 


пу 


Yours for 5400. 


How many men in America could be- 
а typical day breakfastng in the 
Bahamas with advisors to Richard Nixon, 
write a couple of newspaper columns 
while jetting 10 New Jersey to spend the 
afternoon with a friend on death row, 
dictate replies to a stack of correspondence 
while rushing to New York City for a tele- 


vised discussion of economic theory with 
Milton Friedn dash back home lor 
dinner with Otto yon Habsburg, while 
away the late hours discothéque-hopping 
with Truman Capote and end the day 
the quiet early-morning hours, walk 
g the dog and mentally composing а 
letter to a young [riend, advising him 
to ask his Maker for guidance with a 
personal problem? Such a day would 
leave most mortals gasping for breath, 
but for William F. Buckley, Jr—recog- 
nized even by his ideological enemies 
America’s most articulate and engaging 
spokesman for the political right—that 
sort of day is apt to leave h 
why he had accomplished so little. 
Cruising Speed—A Documentary (Putnam), 
Buckley shows us the how of one frenctic 
but altogether average week 
and gives us а welcome but incomplete 
and unsatisfying y the wh 
Often accused of l My, cgo 
wic gadfly who c to dazzle 
audiences and score points with 
torical skills, Buckley reveals 
at the end of an exhausting day. hours 
hom home and family and sleep, listen- 
ing patiently (how many rimes has he 
heard it?) 10 the “Why should I go to 
Vietnam?" rote of a bearded. beaded 
grasestoned college student. Buckley is 
sometimes accused of being a multi 
millionaire reactionary who carcs nothing 
for the human condition, but then we see 
ig over the deaths of Stephen 
Ward (the physician who was involved 
in Great Britain’s Profumo scandal) and 
Philip Graham (former publisher of The 
Washington Post), and the divorce of 
Henry Ford, secing in these simultaneous 
misfortunes the re-enactment of Genesis. 
confirmation that “at the center of the 
ness of the world is the weakness ol 
dividual." Not quite the intensel 
imate exercise in introspection most 
Buckley fans would have liked, nor that 
we have come to expect in personal jour 
s Cruising Speed is at least a start, 
nd we cin hope that it will not be too 
long before William F. Buckley the pub- 
lic figure tells us more about Bill Buckley 
the man, 


In Glory (McGraw-Hill), Vla 
Nabokov spins a gossamer and m 
colored skein of memories in the life of 
young Martin Edelweiss, a wealthy White 
Russian who is chased by the October 
Revolution through Europe, goes to Cam- 
bridge to study, falls in love with a 
mysterious flirt n pns for 
fame and glory, and ends up as the 
protagonist in perhaps the most татай. 
ing climax in the history of the novel 


The prose is almost as flowery as Edel- 
weiss’ improbable surname, yet Nabokov 
anered style born and 


seems to the n 
bred (the novel, originally written in Rus- 
sian in 1930, has now been translated by 
the author and his son Dmini). He can 


perform breath-taking feats with sentences 
that loop and twist and tumble in the 

but somehow always manage to cap 
ture in their flight the full-bodied feel 
of sensuous experience. The supreme 
achievement of this novel, however, is the 
creation of a nostalgic, echoing, inte 
twining, memory-laden tale that has the 
headlong pace of an adventure story 
though Nabokov had set out to rewrite 
Proust in the style of Eric Ambler or 
Graham Greene and actually carried it 
off. A marvelous book. 


Since publication six years ago of 
his Science and Survival, scientist Bai 
ту Commoner’s forebodings over the en- 
croachment of unnatural human wastes 
upon the cycle of life have, alas, been 
borne out. One after another, the things 
we think we cannot live without are be 
coming things we may not be able to live 
wih. To mention a few: artificially fer- 
tilized high-yield crops, detergents, leaded 
sasoline, synthetic fabrics, thermonuclea 
clectricity, disposable cans and bottles, 
What man proposes, God no longer di 
poses. Tt accumulates, concentrates, deso- 
lates. Commoner himself. however, does 
not despair. In his new book, The Closing 
“rele (Knopf), he rakes ап unblinking 
ntory of pollution's gathering tide. 
As Commone . the pollution 
problem is a post-World War Two ph 
nomenon brow largely by the 
overriding profit motive. The grosses 
on detergen ger than on soap; on 
aluminu ger п оп 
polyester. larger than оп cotton. These 
observations allow him to isolate the 
problem and think about how to deal 
with it. He holds it well within human 
ability to close once more the circle of 
life—a cirde formed in the primordial 
ooze. Technology must be redirected. 
City wastes must be piped back to the 
nd, not released on surface waters. 
ns must be expanded, mot aban- 
doned. Natural commodities must once 
gain take precedence over synthetics. 
The industrial nations will have to pay 
a high price for their tunnelvisioned 
technologies. Luckily, says Commoner. 
they cin well afford it. 

їп... Sting like a Bee (Abelard-Schu- 
man), José Torres, former light-heavy 
weight champion of the world turned 
writer, takes on Muhammad Ali. Torres 
has two experienced seconds in his corner 
(Norman Mailer and Budd Schulberg) 
and a third sketching away just outside 
(etavuoy’s LeRoy Neiman). In the сапу 
rounds, aided by a pep-talk preface by 
Mailer ("We suddenly sce fights not a 
are accustomed to look at the 
р: 
characterologi 
skilled artists"), Torres comes on strong 
In Part One he uses Ali's postpersecuti 


nv 


sees 


hı on 


steel; on 


we 


in the 


Stayat home 
cocktails 


Come on. 

Idare you. 

Ask for any cocktail 
you can think of. 


Til have it ready 
as fast as you 
can say 


Party Tyme. 


And it will be 
delicious. 


Care fora 
Whiskey Sour? 
You've got it. 
Daquiri? 
Coming right up. 


Sangria, 

Pina Colada, 
Margarita, 
take your pick 
of fabulous 
drinks that 
make a party 
for two or 

two hundred 
sheer heaven. 


And get this. 
The dry mixes 
are pre-measured. 


Every box holds 
twelve foil-wrapped 
packets that stay 
fresh forever 

to give you 

twelve great 

drinks whenever 
you want them. 


Stay home tonight. 
It could be your 
best night out. 
With Party Tyme. 


Home was never like this before. 


PLAYBOY 


26 


tune-ups with Jerry Quarry 
Bonavena to do the best a 
done of the fighter 
gloves, arms or legs when he's 
Watch his brains.” While A 5 not 
have the physical gifts of a Joe Louis, a 
Willie Pep or a Sugar Ray Robinson, he 
nonetheless has gei 
а man violates every rule there 
the making of a good fighter 
away with 


nd gets 
In the middle rounds of 
+. Sting Like a Bee, Torres is not a 


good fighter at all. Part Two. written 
with the help of a tape recorder and a 
ghostwriter, covers very familiar bio- 

phical territory—Ali’s childhood, h 


Olympic triumph, his early fights, hi 
bouts with Sonny Liston, his conversion 
to the Muslim Faith, his refusal to accept 
induction into the ny. Fortunately, 
‘Torres recovers in time and closes fast. 
In Part Three he gives a superb descrip- 
tion of the Joe Frazier fight: “A betrayal 
occurred when Ali got hit those wicked 
shots. Ali's physical mechanism double- 
crossed his mind. Im very much inclined 
to believe that the three-and-a-half-year 
inactivity did in fact affect Ali's body 
performance. Ali's eyes saw both of 
Trazier's deadly hooks start, saw them 
from the beginning. Both hooks were 
extremely hard. Both slow, wild, tele 
graphed. Alis mind said to his body: 
"Move. The body answered: "I can't. 
After Torres’ tough fight, Budd Schul- 
berg offers his epilog. Compared with 
Mailer, he speaks modestly about Torres’ 
talents, Bur perhaps that is because Schul- 
berg himself goes into the literary 
h a book about АН 


He 
10 be at the top of his form to 
Sting Like a Bee. 


outclass 


The Winds of Wor (Little, Brown), Her- 
man Wouks most ambitious novel to 
date, tells the story of the Victor Hen 
mily from die days just before the Na 
invasion of Poland to the Japanese attack 
on Pearl Harbor. (The Hei у 
going to be around а long time, it seems: 
Wouk is now writing a sequel that car- 
ries the story to VJ Day.) While serving 
as embassy attaché in Berlin, Navy Com- 
Henry catches the eye of the 


mander 
President with a 
Nazi-Soviet pact. It 
F. D. R. is calling him “Old Top” and 
giving him errands to perform that take 
the reader through the corridors of power 
on both sides, Axis and Allied, amid the 
s that become World War Two. The 
al of 
ficers, have an astounding knack for being 
in the right pl t the right times 
Henry comes in contact with Churchill, 
Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini (not to 
nton such incidental luminaries as 
Gary Cooper and Somerset Maugham). 
Throughout the Berlin phase of the novel, 
Wouk manages to suggest that German 


tute prediction of the 


before 


isn't lo 


ri 
commander and his sons, also na 


human nature is not quite the same as the 
rest of the world's, and his descriptions 
of the Germans’ reactions to the speeches 
ag leader are tough. But the 
novel are the 


of their howl 
most daring 
comments by an 
mer member of the 
Armin von Roon 
intention is to defend the honor of the 
German soldier, and his treatise, skillfully 
stitched into the coffers a specu- 
lative glimpse into Hitler's motives for 
invading Russia and a provocative inter- 
pretation of how Roosevelt kept the U.S. 
out of the war while other nations bled 
themselves white. Large sections of the 
novel come close to being lectures on 
global s but they are engrossing 
lectures. Wouk remains a firstrate story 
teller. 


rospective 


Lyndon Johnson's account of his years 
President, The Vantage Point (Holt, Rine- 
hart & Winston). is important simply 
because it’s his. Yet it explains little— 
and doesn't even try. It’s usually inte 
esting, someti g. often disap- 
pointing and fi rather sad. The 
book, like L. B. J.’s Presidency, is domi 
nated by Vietnan 
Тахау surprising, nor is it surprising 
that Johnson never he 


it is a defense is 


es to m 


distortingly selective use of history to 
bolster 


his case. The chief disappoint- 
t reveals little of the awful 
adox of Lyndon Johnson: how a 
man who seemed bursting with humanity 
could carry on for so long and at such 
terrible cost so inhumane a war. John- 
son iie warrior destroyed. Johnson the 
populist, who had. pushed through Con- 
gress more enlightened legislation in the 
fields of racial justice, housing, education 


anklin D. 
as in his Admi 
Johnson seems unaware of this 
ble irony. He writes or has had 
others write, of those rempestuous years 
in a bland tone of sweet reasonablene: 
that masks his earthy personality and 
makes the anger of his days in oflice 
seem like ancient rather than contempo- 
rary history. 


n his book. 


Three men of musical myth—Louis 
Armstrong. Bob Dylan and John Len- 
non—are the subjects of inte 
books this season. To start 
oldest of them, Louis: The Louis Armstrong 
Story 1900-1971 (Little, Brown), by Ma 
Jones and John Chilton, a pair of knowl- 
edgeable Britishers, offers а coherent ac- 
count of Satchmo's carver, It includes 


reproductions of newspaper stories, pro- 
grams, Armstrong letters and other memo- 


rabilia, as well as many photographs. 
There is much, too, about. the changing 
milieu of jazz: the hustlers of New Or 
Jean's Storyville, the gangster-hazardous 
Chicago night clubs of the Twenties, the 


European concert halls where jazz became 
t n embassies where j 
ned into a device of diplomacy. Arm- 
strong was an integral part of all these 
phases; and in the process, he grew 
much more perceptive about extramusi 
cal ius th 


ia Rs raat 
his four wives but Arm- 
strong's music. after all. came from the 


totality of his experience as a black 
American. While much of it was joyful, 

- was a good deal of pride and 
псе in that joy. Another kind of 
defiance marks the carcer of Bob Dylan, 
whose determination to safeguard his 
privacy has led others to create fables 
about him. Now, however, former New 


York Post reporter Anthony Scaduto has 
the 


cleared away mex of 
critical but compassio ography, 
Bob Dylan (Grosset & Dunlap). Scaduto 
book. written with the subjects coopera 


шім in a 


is built mainly on inter 


in Minnesota (when he wi 
nermutn) the 
vi venwich Village folk- 
music endave all the way to Joan Baez 
(her most candid account yet of their 
relationship). Dylan’s songs did much to 
define the counterculture of the Sixties, 
and Scaduto tands the Zeitgeist 
thar made his ascent possible, This is 
sure to be it valuable source book for fu 
ture works on Dyl 
centered 
tides of his songs h 


Bob Zim 
once-thi 


to members of 


unde 


and on the music- 
which the 
е become signposts. 
Another valuable document in the his- 
tory of contemporary popular music is 
ight Arrow), an 
interview with the unreconstructed Bea- 
lv published in two parts in 
Rolling Stone. Occasionally boring. pro- 
li ad incomprehensible. the book 

nonetheless full of good stuff, Lennon 
tells about life on the roid: “You know, 
the Beatles’ tours were like Fellini's Sa- 
byricon. . . . They didn't call them group- 
ies then, they called it something else. 
If we couldn't get groupies. we would 
have whores and everything, whatever 
was going... . When we hit town, we hit 
it, we were not pissing about.” He de- 
scribes the beginning of the match with 
Yoko Ono: “She came to the house and 
I didn't know what to do: so we went 
upstairs to my studio and I played her 
all the tapes that I'd made, all this 
far-out stuff. . . . she said well let's make 
one ourselves. . , . It was dawn when we 
hed, and then we made love at dawn. 
s very beautiful.” For Beatle fan- 
ciers, the most interesting passages have 
to do with John’s feud with Paul Mc- 
Carmey, the managers and the 
breaking up of the fabled foursome. 
One might wish that Lennon had been 


youth culture for 


Lennon Remembers (Si 


Seagram’sV.O. А 
For people who really know how to give. 
= ё mpa 
ме de 2 


CANADIAN WHISKY—A BLEND DE SELECTED WHISKES. SI YEARS 000,808 PROOF. stAGRA! 01: 
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PLAYBOY 


28 


asked more about the carly days, and 
how the group grew out of its 
background, but there is more 
nough here to fuel the dying fires of 
Beatleman 


Good timing, good luck and the S. 
Sheppard murder case catapulted F. Lee 
Bailey into the ranks of celebrated de- 
fense lawyers only a decade ago, 
there he has remained. by virtue of his 
legal skills, personal flamboyance 
other sensational murder cases. In The 
Defense Never Rests (Stein 


nd 


ten with Harvey Aronson, Bailey re- 
counts in lively style the high points of 
his career as a maverick criminal lawyer 


for such notables as Sheppard. Dr. Carl 
Coppolino. Albert (“Boston Strangler”) 


DeSalvo and a host of less prominent 
but no les interesting clients up 10 
(but not including) Captain. Ernest Me- 


din In addition to 


provi 


of My Lai f 
ling vicarious es 
room-drama the book graphically 
illustrates some of the more conspicuous 
flaws in our system of criminal justice — 
especially the rules of evidence, the di 
tics of public prosecutors and € 
ture of our judicial system whereby 
man's innocence becomes progressively 
s relevant the highe 
sled, But Bailey is neither le 
and some of the 
bout cut- 


is ap- 
al philoso. 


the cr 
ll the blood of deeper thinkers. 


1 justice system 


What 


amazed many critics of Port 
noy's Complaint was Philip Roth's suc 
cess in sustaining a single pag through 
200odd pages. In Our Gong (Random 
House), he doesn’t quite pull it off. His 
moral outrage becomes repet 
rony desc Roth has writ- 
ten a br rod 


ive: his 


ds to malice. 
ad political › 
that includes President 
Dixon. Vice-President: What's 
his-name and reporters like Mr. Asslick. 
The plot. which both thickens and sick- 
s by a thread 10 
statement about abortion n 
April by the real President 
“From personal and religious beliefs I 
consider abortions an unacceptable form 
of population control, Furthermore, un- 
iced. abortion policies, or abortion 


with а cast 


ng the life of the yet un- 
bom. For surely the unborn have rights 
also, recognized in law. recognized even 
principles expounded by the United 
Nations.” From that bit of Presidential 
y Roth proceeds to concoct a fantasy 
in which the Boy Scouts of America 
accuse Trick E. Dixon of “sensualist” 
What makes the book mildly 
ning is Roth's uncinny ear. “As 


you all know from the headlines." Di 
on tells a TV audience, “of the approxi 
mately 10,000 Boy Scouts who assembled 
here . . . it was necessary to kill only 
three nd order. That 
breaks down to one and one half Scouts: 
dead per di + Now, I would think 
that by anyone's standa 
rate in a crisis of this kind of ‚0003 is a 
wonderful tribute to the very great re- 
straint with which we were able to con- 
front what might have been a ter 
tragedy for our sol s 


15.” Funny—but 
not funny enough for a whole book. 


.. to mái n law 


le 


Also noteworthy: Playboy's Investment 
Guide (Playboy Press) 
rence, is based on Contributing Editor 
Laurence's popular 
PLAYBOY investment articles. His book is 
erate, and easy reading 
alysis of such varied investment media 
ay stocks, bonds, mutual funds, commodi- 
tics, even art objects. It's a fine i 
tory text for the tyro investor 
the profesional will find it interes 
(and perhaps profitable) reading. John 
Kenneth Galbraith has recommended it 
highly, and so do we 

N in, glittering and guiltridden, 
pervades Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden 
Memories and Other Disasters (Doubleday), 
Jean Shepherd's t ic trudge through 
the soor-darkened snows of yesteryear. A 
mion of eight of Jean's rLavnov 
pieces, Wanda Hickey should provide sev- 
eral nights of chortles and guffaws. 


balanced 


Nosta 


m 


MOVIES 


1n his first movie venture, Hugh Hefner 
has staked a multimillion-dollar budget 
and the reputation of liis. fledgling pro- 
duction company on Roman Polanski's 
vision of Shakespeare's. Macbeth, Previous 
screen versions of this dark tale—which 
Г jonally been regarded as unplay 
able—have fared indifferently at the box 
office, but this one (adapted by Polansk 
in collaboration with Kenneth Tynan) 
should break the jinx. Keeping about half 
of the original text, and us 
over techniques —very 
the introspective soliloquies, it bears the 
hallmark of Po uncompromising 
approach to the medium, evident in all 
his previous films, from Knife m the 
Water to Rosemary's Baby. In a darin 
departure from routine casting and pr 
ble porirayal of the lead roles, Polan 
ski shows us а Macbeth (Jon Finch) and 
Lady Macbeth (Francesca Annis) who аге 
young, handsome at The hor- 
ror of their crimes, somehow, is all the 
more repellent because they don’t resem- 
ble the Mach n plotter and the mad 

idan of earlier productions. Finch 
and Annis receive excellent support from 


w 


voice- 


successfully fe 


1 passionate 


ave] 


a youthful, all-British cast that includes 
Martin Shaw as Banquo and Nicholas Sel- 
by as Duncan. John Stride, Stephan Chase, 
Paul Shelley and Terence Basler, respec- 
tively, portray Ross, Malcolm. Donalbain 
and Macduff. From the opening shot on a 
desolate beach, where we first encounter 
the three witdies—played memorably by 
Noelle Rimmington. Maisie MacFarquhar 
and Elsie Taylor—to the final fade-out 
after Macbeth’s grisly decapitation, the 
film is stunningly photographed by Gil 
Taylor. The authentic castles аге splen- 
didly ancient and rugged, the battles grim 
ly tea in their 
color, and the duels, y 
director William Hobbs, hideously 
lievable and gripping. All is 
background of striking landscapes often 
wind swept and drenched by vain, and the 
damp chill can be felt in one’s bones. All 
all—though its not a film for the 
think Shakespeare would 
have approved of Polanski’s Macbeth; 
thi 


squeamish—we 


we 


most viewers will, too. 


The message of WR—Mysteries of the 
Organism is “Workers of the world—fuck 
freely.” Loosely based on the teachings 
of Wilhelm Reich (whose initials form 
part of the title), this freeform, impu 
dently political satire 
would be a surprise in any language but 
it happens to be an import from 
Yugoslavia and has а tongues 
wagging, pro and con, on both sides of 
the Tron Curt theorists are 
apt to detest 
ists, Communists, 


pornographic 


оз 


cady set 


jong with many social- 


revisionists, 


n Mak- 
avejev is a contrived but perfectly dear 
plea for cre; idu ny 
and all powers that seek to stifle healthy 
human this purpose, Dr 
Reich is an apt symbol, and the movi 
briefly recaps his carcer as a refuges 
from Hitler's fascism who came to Amer- 
ica, found communism a failure and 
the American dream a hoax and died 
in Lewisburg Federal Penitentiary in 
1957—branded a lunatic, if not ап out- 
right fraud, for peddling his cancer 
cures and energy-trapping orgone boxi 


mpulses. Fo 


Mysteries, filmed partly in the U.S, 
includes inter hi transvestite star 
Jackie Curtis, Betty Dodson 


(seated in front of her masturbatory lile 
studies) and a plastercasting sculptress 
who is preserving for posterity the phal- 
lus erectus of Screw editor Jim Buckley 
Against such examples of how the pur 
suit of happiness manilests itself in the 
West, the film intermittently takes up 
the droll tale of a beauty operator in 
Belgrade, played with brilliant comic 
flair by Yugoslavia's top screen. actress, 
Milena Dravic, last seen here in Adrift. 
Milena triumphs as a winsome Reichian 
ad card-carrying Gommu 


ist whose 


Come all the way.up-to KOOL. 
the one cigarélte with extra. 


E 
H 
H 
Б 
e 


18 mg. "tar," 14 mg. nicotine 
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined av. per cigarette, FIC Report Aug. 71. 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health, - 


PLAYBOY 


30 


search for a better orgasm 1 
the male star of a visiting i 
from Moscow. The reluctant 
lover speaks dialog cribbed from Lenin 
and ultimately severs the heroine's head 
with his skate blades, which shuts her up 
a bit—but only temporarily. Quite aside 
from the lightsome satire, Mysteries han- 
dies intercourse and nudity with refresh- 
ing cando 


Russian 


The nostalgic appeal of such recent 
hits as Summer of 42 and The Last 
Picture Show is matched by Murmur of the 
Heart (Le Souffle au Coeur), writer-director 
Louis Malle's tender comedy about a boy 
who finds solace for the pains of puberty 
in a brief love affair with his mother. Set 
Dijon in 1954, the film's worldly view 
of incest as a normal—and even beautiful 
—fringe benefit of boyhood created а 
furor in France comparable with that set 
off a decade ago by Malle’s memorable 
first success, The Lovers. Since then, 
he has become а masterful movie styl- 
ist, and Mirmo of the Heart is a richly 
detailed portrait of ап uppermiddle- 
cla y—headed by a rather tired 
gynecologist (Daniel Gelin) and his vi 
born wife (played with rare 
perception by Lea Massari), whose two 
eldest sons sem preoccupied with mik- 
ing out, or boasting about it, or measur 
ш their tools, or smuggling their kid 
brother off to the best brothel in town. 
As portrayed by young Benoit Ferreus 
the junior member of the vie channels 
his awakening instinas into a classic 
portrait, delicately balanced between 
childish ineptitude and boyish exuber- 
ance. The real strength of the movie, 
though, lies in Malls own humor and 
compassion toward creatures of either 
sex and every age—thos: who rush to 
embrace life while a TV set drones the 
bad news of men dying at Dien Bien Phu. 


Let writer-actor-dircetor Denni 
n The Last Movie in 
1 believ 


Hop- 
his own 

that symbolism, real- 
m are one. I want to be 
about as coherent 
as anyılı n The Last Mov 
a project undertaken. by Hopper абет 
Easy Rider made him movicland's golden 
boy of the late $ With major stt 
dio financing, Hopper took cast and crew 
to a village high in the Peruvian Ande 
as everyone must know by now, and 
made this movie about a movie со 
pany making a movie Western in a village 
high in the Peruvian Andes. If 
sull reading, Hopper himself plays the 
maker and hero of the mo 
he-movie, a wrangler known 
I to be "a symbol of the 
m." The moviemakers, we 
guess, are dream peddlers whose myths 
corrupt the innocent natives, who in 
turn destroy their corrupters. Except for 


D 


mo 
with 
Kansas, 
American dre; 


splendid location photography by Laszlo 
Kovacs—who also made Easy Rider 
an eyeful—the exercise is inept and pre 
tentious. Most of the actors (with the 
striking exception of Julic Adams, in a 
deft performance as an American busi- 
nesman's bored wife) look either 
stoned or misguided, or both, as they drift 
from scene to scene, vainly sccking a 
vestige of dramatic truth in Hoppers 
monumental ego wip. Discerning movi 

goers should guard against confusing the 
title with that of The Last Picture Show, 
a superior work that Hopper ought to be 
compelled to si 


through several times. 


Boccaccio's Decemeron becomes more 
or less the personal property of writer 
director Pier Paolo Paoli his un 
buttoned adaptation of the ribald 1 
A Jeftis intellectual 
with austere themes, as in The Gospel 
According to St. Matthew and the stern- 
legorical Teorema, Pasolini lets it 
1g out to do justice to the origina 
rt saga written circa 1351. On film, 
in subtitled Italian, ten stories are loosely 
connected with the completing of a reli- 
gious mural by a boisterous crew of artists 
—Paslini himself appears as Giotto— 
who use the faces of cuckolds, harlots 
and Го lors to represent. various saint- 
ly figures. Hedonistically antichurch, the 
film centers on lickerish nuns who de- 
mand herculean efforts Irom a muscu 
young workman their convent: 


associ 


a 
peasant wife who is had by a stranger 


while leaning over the rim of a 
being swabbed out by he 
а well-bred young 


hue 
sil who slyly 
tells her parents she wants 10 sleep out 


on the patio amd maybe wake up with 
a ae in her hand. Bawdy 
humor, broadly played in a style 
described аз hee Renaissance—with ex- 
plicit male nudity as occ 
cquires s pacan 
to pleasure a most distinguished skin 


flick. 


best. 


dd female 


sion 


The French Connection is ап actio: 
mmed sleeper, a true detective story 
based freely on the careers of Eddie 
Egan and Sonny Grosso, former members 


of the New York € 


smuggling caper were recorded 
form by Robin Moore. In this s 
thriller directed by William (The Night 
They Raided Minsky's) Friedkin, the 
acters representing the two key men 
ed 


nd Roy Scheider, whose perform. 


man à 
ances as a couple of tugh, not to say 
brutal, plainclothesmen might well give 


New York's finest a 
through Harlem on 


black eye. Roari 
bust in search of 


information 


they are apt to address a 
black man as "Hey. shithcad.” Yet 
Ernest Tidyman's sacenplay makes it 
dear that these guys arc mean partly 
because they have a mean job to do 
Even their boss, the lieutenant. (played. 
convincingly by detective Egan himself). 


puts them down hard for "fucking 
ound” town to "grab а bellhop be 


cause he's got three joints in his sock.” 
vench Connection's language is blunt, 
as it should be, and the movie, filmed 
almost entirely on location in New York, 
looks as tough as it sounds. 

‘The fluid, time-dissolving structure of 
A Sofe Place is apt to try the average 
moviegoers patience, yet there a 
fringe benefits—in the acting by Tues- 
day Weld, Orson Welles, Jack Nicholson 
and newcomer Philip Proctor, as well as 
nkly experi 


director Henry Jaglom fields Orson, ou 
premium ham, n old dream. 
chant with no tangible connect 
anything except, perhaps, the n 
memory of a sorely troubled 
woman. As the girl whose топы 
icis seem conventional at first gl 


his ar- 


gives preferential treatment to 
rogant predecessor (Nicholson, of course) 
Tuesday demons that a 
starlev's face is the only obstacle to her 
reputation as a fine ss. When she 
was a child. she imagined she could 


tes 


new 


magical mystery t 
mau from somewhere in hi 
ly. she аа 
this 


wonder 


past. Final- 
ally does ascend right out of 
world—leaving the audience to 
whether her disappearance is 
truly metaphysical or just le 
new form of suicide, It must be clear by 
now that director Jaglom scorns easy 
wswers and occasionally betrays a tend 
ency toward intentional obscurity. Vet 
s dullest spots 
give way to signs of a daring talent. 
Note, for example. an odd but resonant 
sequence in which flickering scenes from 
young man's childhood are projected 
like home movies on the face of the girl 
ith whom he yearns to share them. 


fashiona 


plotless movi 


this ne: 


His role as homicide detective Virgil 
Tibbs. created for In the Heat of the 
Night. is turning into a professional nest 
cgg for Sidney Poitier, who plays Tibbs 
for the third time in The Organization. 
Though fast-paced. expertly filmed all 
over cisco and superior to the 
first sequel, this movie ignites memories 
of at least 100 others. Barbara McNair 
as Mrs. Tibbs one of those roles that 
sound like the lead-in to a word about 
Comet cleanser, The implausible villains 
of The Organization look as though the 
Italian Anti-Defamation League had put 


You can take aWhite Horse anywhere 


PLAYBOY 


32 


For the man who wants to experience all 


Pictures of the Great Depression are among the 
examples given in the volume on Photo- 
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that comment on events and on people. 


How to freeze motion at the crucial moment 
isexplained in the volume on Special Problems. 


How pictures are taken underwater, in the 
heavens, through a microscope are shown and 
explained in Photography as А Tool. 


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33 


PLAYEOY 


n a word to Central Casting. If you can 
believe in WASPy socialite mobsters 
who perform their own murder co 
low the rest of the 


ntes who try to destroy 
n drugs by carrying out 
ingenious robbery of $500,000 worth of 
heroin. The youngsters constitute a new 
Mod Squad style in action thrillers and 


would be assured winners on TV, where 
the Tibbs series probably belongs. 
‘The serew-America school of film 


making bends over backward in Punish- 
ment Pork, the latest attempt to character- 
ize poor, stumbling U. S. A. as the cradle 
of fascism, racism and most of the other 
ills contemporary heir to. Park 
shows our country as a hotbed of evil 
where youthful dissenters and rebels are 
sentenced (in а kangaroo court made up 
exclusively of right-wing fanatics) to ei- 
ther serve long prison terms or march 
across 53 miles of burning desert called 
Punishment Park while armed, uniformed 
militiamen systematically hunt them 
down under the eye of TV news cameras. 
The inherent in a political fantasy 
that reduces complex problems to clichés 
are compounded by British director- 
editor Peter Watkins, who appears to 
ccept unconditionally the proposition 
that any alienated American under 30 
is bound to be pure in heart and perse- 
aned by the establishment. Punishment 
Park is skillfully done in а pseudo-docu 
mentary style, using mostly nonprofes- 
sional actors to state their case with an 
air of bogus authenticity. “America is full 
of motherfuckers!” shouts one good guy. 
Seldom has the cause of peace and free 
dom been served so mindlessly. 


Singer-composer Kris Kristofferson gets 
credit for most of the music on the 
sound track of Cisco Pike but strikes a 
truer note with his acting debut in the 
title role. Dark-haired, with a deep, ex- 
ssive voice, stecly blue eyes and a 
ity that resonates contemporary 
cool, Kristofferson could well be the 
swer to filmdom's prayers for a folk- 
rock hero to replace the legendary 
James Dean. In Cisco Pike, Kris plays a 
sometime mu: n who has drifted into 
the drug scene and wants out but has to 
dealing in grass once more in order 
off a corrupt officer from the 
narcotics squad. With Gene Hackman as 
the crooked narc, Karen Black as a girl 
who сап no longer live on promises and 
people like Viva on hand to supply 
underground authenticity, vriter«direc- 
tor Bill L. Norton presents some arrest- 
ing views of life's lower depths in the 
general vicinity of Venice, C: 
ough the drama veers toward con- 
ction melodrama at times, the 


ifornia. 


characters ring true, thanks in part to 
writer Norton's sassy dialog. Asked if 
he's a college man, Kristofferson drawls 
hell, yes, “Ah majored in shit-kick 
His hang-loose and casually horny 

ner does as much to enrich the movie's 
atmosphere as a dozen seedy storefronts. 


Comedy opens with 
ious sequence in which the wa 
torso of President Nixon being fitted 
with a head une Tussaud's Wax 
Museum. After that sight gag, produce 
director Emile de Antonio, creator of such 
cogent documentaries as Point of Order 
and In the Year of the Pig, proceeds to 
roast Nixon over the curling flames of 
his own rhetoric. The man’s awkward 
public pronouncements are legend, and 
they're all here—from the soap-opera 
pathos of the “Checkers” speech and the 
famous “last” press conference after his 
aliornia defeat to his hymn to the 
ravaging of the countryside: “The orange 
groves and the lemon groves and the 
vocado groves for the most part 
gone. Houses, homes, by the thousands, 
shopping centers, progress. . . ." Though 
the words on record are damning enough, 
De Antonio occasionally opts for some 
casy jokes—working in phrases of Chi- 
quita Banana as musical background for 
the debacle of Nixon's 1958 t 
America or cutting abruptly from 
concerning President Eisenhower's illness 
ath scene in Knute 
Rockne. Such facile foolery weakens the 
film’s arguments, since there is hardly a 
politician alive or dead who would not 
be vulnerable to the same treatment. 
, though Millhouse is not always quite 
is funny as it promises to be, dedicated 
anti-Nixonites should find every jibe 
a joy. 


RECORDINGS 


In the beginning was the word. And 
re are still lots of words around this 
tmastime. For example, that exem- 
plary purveyor of the recorded word, 
Cacdmon, has a host of goodies on 
vinyl. Arthur Miller's adaptation of 
Henrik Ibsen's An Enemy of the People, 
performed by "The Repertory Theater of 
Lincoln Genter under the direction of 
Jules Inving, has as much to say about 
contemporary morality and ecology and 
says it better than anything wrought 
today. The sixth side of the three-LP 
package carties a discussion of the play 
by Miller and citic Harold Clurman. 
For those of us who marveled at Studs 
Terkel's striking evocation of the De- 
two-LP pres- 

m of segments of the tapes on 
which the book was based will only 
confirm Terkel's ability to find the right 
subjects to i and to draw the 


terview 


most out of them. Hard Times is good 

ening. The untimely death of Lor- 
raine Hansberry in 1965 was a tremendous 
loss to both the world of letters and 
humanity as a whole; To Be Young, Gifted 
end Block hears tragic testimony to that. 
The three-LP album of the dramatic 
work, adapted by her husband, Robert 
Nemiroff. and directed by him and 
Gigi Cascio, is beautifully performed by 
a splended cast that features James Earl 
Jones, Barbara Baxley and Claud 
McNeil. Eloquently moving, no matter 
what one's color. A massive delineation 
of the black experience is to be found 
in the eight-LP, four-volume Sithovertes 
Courage. Dramatized by a large cast, ac- 
companied by highly appropriate back- 
ground music, and narrated by Ossie 
Davis. Brock Peters, Frederick O'Neal 
ıl Ruby Dee, the project runs from pre- 
slavery Africa through the history of 
blacks in America up to the present. Pr. 
sented in a handsome sli 
able through Silhouettes in Courage, Inc., 
22 East 40th Street, New York, New York 
10016, for $46.49. 

Wagnerians easily have the pick of 
1971s operatic offerings From the 
stage of the Bayreuth Festspielhaus comes 
a stunningly recorded performance of 
Porsifal (Deutsche Grammophon), 
ducted by Pierre Boulez, in which the 
traditional Teutonic murk and far have 
been ruthlessly and persuasively swept 
away. Wagner lovers will also welcome 
a commendably uncut version of Die 
Meistersinger (Angel) emanating from 
Dresden, though in this case the en- 
gineering is less impressive: again, tradi 
tion goes out the window as conductor 
Herbert von Karajan holds up the 
verboten sign to all the heavy horseplay 
that is usually par for this operatic 
course. Best of the non-Wagner lot is 
Verdi's Don Carlo (Angel), sung by a 
topnotch cast—Caballé, Verrett, Domin- 
go, Milnes, Raimondi—under the direc- 
tion of Carlo Maria Giulini; but 1971 
was decidedly not a vintage year for 
Italian opera, and even this well-assem- 
bled production has its bland and un- 
convincing moments. For adventuresome 


con- 


mmaphon), 
splendidly revivified by Birgit Nilsson, 
Placido Domingo and conductor Rafael 
Kubelik. 

Pop, rock and jazz albums in dual-Lp 
profusion make the yuletide an aural 
feast. A number of them are reprises of 
past recordings that age has not with- 
ered. On four double sets titled The 
World's Greatest Blues Singer, Any Woman's 
Blues, Empty Bed Blues and The Empress, 
Columbia has put forth practically its 
entire catalog of the incomparable Bessie 
Smith (the fifth and final album I 
yet to be released), An overwhelmi 


This advertisement is not an offering. No offering is made except by a Prospectus filed with the Department of Law of the 
State of New York and the Bureau of Securities, Department of Law and Public Safety of the State of New Jersey. 
Neither the Auorney General of the State of New York nor the Attorney General of the State of New Jersey nor 
the Bureau of Securities of the State of New Jersey has passed on or endorsed the merits of this offering. 


Any representation to the contrary is unlawful. 


1,071,567 Shares 


2 


November 4, 1971 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 


Common Stock 


Price $23.50 Per Share 


Copies of the Prospectus may be obtained from the undersigned and from 
such other securities dealers as may lawfully offer the securities in this State. 


Basle Securities Corporation 


Dominick $ Dominick, 


Incorporated 


Hill Samuel Securities 


Corporation 


F. 5. Moseley & Co. 
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Loeb, Rhoades & Co. 


Burnham and Company 


F. Eberstadt & Co., Inc. 


E. F. Hutton & Company Inc. 


Paribas Corporation 
Shields & Company 
G. H. Walker & Co. 


Incorporated 


duPont Glore Forgan 


CBW Isdem Stone Inc. 
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W. E. Hutton & Co. 

R. W. Pressprich & Co. 


Im ed 


F. S. Smithers & Co., Inc. 
Walston & Co., Inc. 


PLAYBOY 


36 


compilation. The Best of Herbie Hancock (Blue 
Note) is very good, indeed. The pianist- 
composer, in the company of a variety 
of exceptional jazzmen, demonstrates 
the remarkable talent that is only now 
beginning to be given its due. The 
RCA vaults contain some of the most 
rewarding efforts of the late Satchmo. A 
number of these have been reissued 
Louis Armstrong July 4, 1900 / July 6, 1971. 
The album ranges from You'll Wish 
You'd ver Been Вот, recorded in 
1932. to I Never Saw a Better Day, etched 
in 1956-—a quarter-century of prodigious 
iccomplishment. Dave Brubeck / Adventures 
in Time (Columbia) puts together the old 
Brubeck Quarters forays into assorted 
seldom-used signatures—Unsquare 
Dance, Blue Rondo à la Turk, Take 
Five, Isa Raggy Waltz and 18 others— 
that will bring back remembrances of 
splendid things past, Come out, Paul 
Desmond, wherever you are. The Lile ond 
Times of Country Joe & the Fish from Haight- 
Ashbury to Woodstock (Vanguard) covers 
the four-year rise of the rock group that 
е been restructured after Joe Mc- 
Donald took it unto himself to do a 
‘ingle. There are 19 numbers here to 
help you recapture what it was all about. 
There are lots of freshly minted 
too—all prime prospects for 
mas giving. Don Ellis / Tears of Joys 
(Columbia) has the most inventive band 
extant moving into hitherto uncharted 
ritory. Ellis has added strings, set up 
semble groupings and otherwise kept 


time 


has si 


the caldron bubbling with white hot 
ideas. Fresh from his Friends and 
Love triumph, composer-Flügelhornman 


Chuck Mangione has put 
in with the Rochester 
album is 


The 
Together 
instrume 


work, some noteworthy vo- 
xtended compositions and a 
ing that bridges the gap between cre- 
ative contemporary music forms. Grateful 
Dead (Warner Bros), a live outing by 
Jerry Garcia & Co, is unquestio 
the group's finest oflering to 
among the Dead's own compositions, 
listeners will find such delights as 
Kris Kristofferson's Me & Bobby McGce, 
Chuck Berry's Johnny B. Goode and 
Merle Haggard’s Mama Tried. An al- 
bum to be grateful for. Booker T. end 
Priscilla (A & M) showcases Mr. and Mrs. 
g beautiful sounds together. 
She by Chris Ethridge and 
m Parsons and Sweet Child You're 
Not Alone by Donna Weiss, the num- 
bers were all written by Booker T. 
and/or Priscilla and the album is, in 
toto, a joy. Sten Kenton end His Orchestra 
Live at Redlands University (Ihe Creative 
World of Stan Kenton) is filled with 
original jazz compositions and such st 
wart standards as the Burke-Van Heusen 


Here’s That Rainy Day, Webb's. 
We Almost Made H This Time Didn't 
We and MacArthur Park and the Me 
Cartney-Lennon Hey Jude. The capper 
i ton's Artistry їп Rhythm and 

le is a succinct commentary on 
what the leader-educitor’s music still 
represents. Joan Baez Blessed Ае... 


(Vanguard) says it all for the doyenne of 
concerned folk artists, From Miss Baez” 
title-ballad opener to the closing Fifteen 
Months, writen while her husband was 
in prison, the album glows with an 
honesty that would make Diogenes a 
happy man. Message music usually i 
pretentious turnoff, but there is never 
any doubt that Joan Baez music offers 
hope without hype. Music from the sound 
track of Shaft (Enterprise), composed and 
performed by Isaac Hayes, is that rarity, 
a score that holds up—and then some— 
out of context. The atmosphere is 
charged with the electricity that i 
Hayes hallmark. The jazzrock musicians 
are firstrate and the music always moves. 

Crazy Dave Van Ronk, long a fixture 
of the New York folk scene, has a grand 
new album, Van Ronk (Polydor), that 
should win him fans everywhere. His 
g between a hoarse 
wheeze and а nasal whine—is alternately 
rough and gentle but always expres- 
sive. His material varies from Leonard 
Cohen's fine seriocomic confession, Bird 
on the Wire, to Joni Mitchell's lovely 
song of the seasons, Urge for Going, to 
Jacques Brel’s mean sailor ballad, Port 
of Amsterdam. Van Ronk's partiality for 
musical madness sneaks in all the time, 
perhaps most notably in Random Can- 
yon, where marvelous jingoistic fantasies 
take root and grow. is a brilliant 
set of tunes by an old master. 

George Barnes and Bucky Pizzarel 
two of today's premier practitioners of 
the guitar, have joined forces for a vinyl 
outing of sheer delight. Guitars Pure 
and Honest (AR) includes such time- 
odes as Honeysuckle Rose, Blue 
nd Rose Room, and current at- 
tractions along the lines of Spinning 
Wheel and the Theme from Love Story. 
Barnes and Pizzarelli are obviously able 
to read cach other's mind; the interplay 


а 


voice—someth 


between the two is fantastic—smooth 
as а TV used-car salesman and totally 
rewarding. 

A wh “roll album is 20 


te Creek (Reprise). by Moby Grape. as 
fine as it's ever done, The Grape plays 
everything well—from a loping jazz- 
inflected blues (lm the Kind of Man 
That Baby You Can Trust) to Alex 
Spence’s Chinese Song, on which he plays 
the koto. In Road to the Sun, it slight 
time delay makes Jim Mosleys voice 


sound like B. B. 


g's. and the effect 
works You will also hear an outstanding 
drunk song. Ode to the Man at the End 
of the Bar. Here is evidence of what 
happened to the San Francisco sound as 
played by the best band ever to come out 
of that city. 


THEATER 


What hath Tom O'Hor wrought? 
Apparently, a gimmicky but stupefying 
deliverance from the misstaged and in- 
tellectually shallow concertopera ver- 
m of Jesus Christ Superstar (which 
we reviewed November). Broadway's 
Jesus Christ Superstar is Jesus Christ super- 
spectacular—a combination circus, Radio 
City Music Hall stage show, Todd-AO 
Hollywood musical, Baths of Caracalla 
opera and рор apocalypse. Battleship- 
sized constructions drop from the flies 
—like flies. Let's hear it for the stage 
hands (and also for the sound men; 
the acoustics are excellent). On cuc, 
here comes a phone booth full of the 
stars of Gethsemane. Jesus soars toward 
heaven (or the mezzanine) on a trian- 
gle. Judas descends on an enormous 
butterfly and sings with а Supremelike 
trio left over from Hair. O'Horgan evi 
dently wanted to give the Broadway 
Jesus story a grounding in science and 
myth. His actors enter as primordial 

The scenery is hung with dinosaur- 
d pelvic bones. An interesting notion 
—but one that undercuts the already 
reduced Christ. As played neurasthe 
cally by Jeff Fenholt, Christ is more 
complainer than saint, as concerned 
about getting a good nights sleep as 
about healing the lepers. Dwarfed by 
the behemoth staging. he becomes the 
incredible shrinking Man. The show 
really belongs to Judas, the tragic Jew, 
with Ben Vereen giving the evening's best 
performance. In the smaller role of Mary 
Magdalene (the greatest groupie ev 
Yvonne Elliman is touching. Her 7 Don't 
Know How to Love Hon vem 
Andrew Lloyd Webber a 


most petfectly formed songs. For all of 
O'Hoigan's. director 
pulsating score surv 


237 West 51st Street. 


N 


k Hellingeı 


Also noteworthy: The James Joyce Memo- 
rial Liquid Theater, the group excreise in 
tactile coexistence and sensory awareness 
reviewed in these columns in July 1970, 
has moved from the shoe-box sized Com. 
pany Theater Los Angeles to the 
basement of New York's Guggenheim 
Museum. More party game and encounter 
group than theater, it makes for а pleas 
antly gentle h gently pleasant 
people. 


evening w 


Silva Thins 1005 have 
less"tar than: 

most Kings, 

1008, 

menthols, 
non-filters. 


And more 


flavor than 
allofthem. 


16 mg. tar 1.1 mg. nicotine. 


Menthol too. 


5 NOW—YOURS FROM COLUMBIA—AT TRULY 
— 
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An dy blessed are... The Moody Blues 
Williams every good boy 
7 deserves favor 
You've Got Bussi 
Friend Tho story in 
TE your eyes 
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verybody’s j 
Everything joan baez 
The Night Thay Drove 
Old Dixie Down vancuano] 
5: 
BOE 210195 
SERGIO 7 BARBRA JOAN RAY CONNIFF EVERYTHING YOU 
P" MENDES 77 ‘STREISAND Great Conemporay | | Аййй; Wanten T0 
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ron au we mon poms 
reson ween A 
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CAT STEVENS CARPENTERS: 
pofi Close TO YOU. 
fermes 
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7 АТ STEVENS. RAY STEVENS’ ШЕТА 
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38 selection. 


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Ж Selections marked with a star are not avail reel tapes 


GREAT SAVINGS. ms Take your pick 


tapes #286 = 


8-ТВАСК CARTRIDGES 


if you join now and agrae to buy seven selections (at regular Club prices) during the coming year 


OR 


THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY 
SOUND MAGAZINE 


STARRING SY Be 
SHIRLEY JONES TAPE CASSETTES 


DAVID 
‘CASSIDY 
1 Woke 
Upin AT 
This CARNEGIE HALL 
Morning I'ma Мап 


25 0r 6104 
209726 


206771 


eee س ت ت س‎ ч ч ш ш шш س س س ت س‎ ee س س س‎ ee 


Please accept my membership application in the Club. 1 am in- 
terested in this type of tape: (Check one only) 


CTA Û 9-Track Cartridges (PG-W) AGE. 
GSD С Tape Cassettes (PH-X) 
LILLY г Reel-to-Reel Tapes (ME-Y) 


Just look at this great selection of recorded entertain- 
ment-all available in your choice of 8-Track Cartridges 
OR Tape Cassettes OR Reel-to-Reel Tapes! So no matter 
which type of stereo tape playback equipment you now 


have—you can take advantage of this special introduc- 1 "Bend me the eight selections indicated at the right. for which 
tory offer from the Columbia Tape Club! 1 X will be billed only $2.86, plus processing and postage. I agree 
^ т Ё to buy seven selections int reeutar Club prices) curing the 
Send now for your 8 stereo tapes for $2.86. Just fill in and УП coming year, and may cancel сагышы any time ti hu 
Pail the postpaid application provided (no stamp need. Sip dados wil ve без рыт D are i ie Chinen 
ed—just fold in half, seal with paste or tape, and drop it EM zine sent every four weeks. If 1 do mot want any selec. 
in the mailbox). Indicate which type of recorded music РШ — pen gb return the selection cerd by the date specified — or 
you prefer ... cartridges, cassettes or reel tapes...and 5 regular selection. I need do nothing — it will be sent auto: 
your eight selections will be sont upon enrollment. Also — 5 l MAIER ау doceri or reest by usine the dated deme on 
be sure to indicate the field of music in which you are = 1 MAY MAIN MUSICAL INTEREST iS (CK one Бох ому] 
mainly interested—in order to help us serve you better. Ecco a ena 
As a member you will receive, every four weeks, anin. 21 y, 
formative music magazine—describing the regular se- =й ow 
lection for the month, and scores upon scores of alter- >f — "ense printy First Name 
nate selections from every field of music. Hr 
How to order. If you do not want any selection in any gg MME: 
month — merely return the special card by the date ёр am... а tcc see 
specified. If you want only the regular selection, do — = Do you have a telephone? APO, FPO addressees 
nothing—it will be shipped to you automatically. Or use — àll {check one] Mail application to USA address. Enrollment 
the card to order any of the alternate selections offered. &] Ores [no plan may differ, Prices slightly higher. Serviced from Canada, 


And from time to time, we will offer some special selec- 
tions, which you may reject by returning the special 
dated form provided—or accept by doing nothing . . 
the choice is always up to you! 


Your own charge account will be opened upon enroll- 
ment . . . you pay for your selections only affer you have 
received them. They will be mailed and billed to you at 
the regular Club prices: cartridges and cassettes, $6.98; 
reel-to-reel tapes, $7.98..plus processing and postage. 
(Occasional special selections maybe somewhat higher.) 


Fantastic bonus plan. Your only obligation is to buy 
seven selections (at the regular Club prices) during the 
coming year. Alter doing so, you have no further ob- 
ligation—and you may cancel membership at any time. 
If you decide to continue, you will be eligible for our 
generous bonus plen—which can save you at least 33% 
оп all your future purchases! This is the most con- 
venient way possible to build a stereo tape collection 
at the greatest savings possible! So don't delay—mail 
the postpaid application today! 


FOLD IN HALF ON THIS LINE, SEAL AND MAIL- 


FIRST CLASS 
Permit No. 1050 
Terre Havte, Ind, 


BUSINESS REPLY MAIL 


No Postage Stamp Necessary if Mailed in the United States 


Postage will be paid by 
COLUMBIA TAPE CLUB 
1 Music Lane 
Terre Haute, Indiana 
47808 


Cut along detted line — seal (paste cr tape) and ma 


Columbia Tape Club 
a Service of 


23 lumbia 
louse 


Terre Haute Indiana 47608. AUST [ы шш тш шш шы ne | 


39 


Buy astereo system 
with your ears, not your ego. 


We'll be the first to admit that the stereo-experts in your crowd won't exactly 
be overwhelmed when you tell them you bought a Sony compact stereo system. 

For one thing, our compact systems don't cost a small fortune. For another, 
they're complete systems. Not separate components you have to worry about 
hooking up. 

But if you can face life without a 
living room full of wires, switches and 
buttons, then one of our compact 
stereos is probably just what you're 
looking for. Because the fact is, they TEs 
happen to sound as good as some ae 
other stereos that cost a lot more. HP-210 

You see, being Sony we have an advantage. Since we make all our intricate 
parts, we have more control over the quality of our stereos than those other 
manufacturers who don't. On top of that, we've been putting stereos together 
long enough to know how to do it right. 


And while that may sound like 
aneasy thing for us to say, it's also 
aneasy thing for you to check. 

Just listen to a Sony compact 
for yourself. 

There's a whole line of them. 
From a basic turntable-FM/AM 
= a |  receiver-speaker combination, to 
HP-510 very sophisticated models with 
built-in cassette recorders. They're all good values for the money. They're ex- 
ceptionally reliable. And as you can see from the picture, they're even good- 
looking. 

So the next time you're in a store where they're sold, try one out. And don't 
worry about your ““The-only-good-stereo-is-a-complicated-stereo” friends. 

If they're not impressed 
when they hear you boughta 
compactstereo, just letthem 
hear the compact stereo you 


bought. SONY 


| 
|. i 


A 


©1971 Sony Corp. of America, 47-47 Van Dam St, LI.C,, NY. 11101. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


АМ, wife and I have become good 
friends with a neighborhood couple and 
recently the husband suggested we play 
strip poker. Once everyone was nude, he 
then proposed a kissing and caressing 
game that became pretty intimate. My 
wife and I consider ourselves very open 
people and found all of this great fu 
After a while, our host's wife and 1 
ended up making love, whereupon the 
host became shocked and angry. He saii 
1 was carrying the game too far and 
ked us to leave. 1 value his friendship, 
but in this case J seriously doubt that an 
pology is in order. What do you think? 
J.. Butte, Montana. 

Your host apparently started some. 
thing he was unable to stop; certainly 
your own actions would not be consid- 
ered unusual m Ihe game you were 
playing. Your host’s vage at the outcome 
indicates that he was fooling either him- 
self or you, While an apology may not 
be in order from you, it wouldn't hurt 
to offer one, particularly if you wish to 
velain his friendship. In the future, be 
sure you understand the rules of the 
game. before you try to score. Incidental- 
by. while the hosts wife and you were 
collaborating. on that end run, what 
were thë host and your wife doing? 


Tie holiday season 
1 would like to Is there a cure for a 
hangover?—T- F., Chicago, Illinois. 

One school of thought holds that 
since the body burns up alcohol at a 
constant rale, there is no cure other 
than time. But that’s only one school of 
thought. Dr. Linus Pauling swears by 
vitamin C, claiming he has taken three 
grams a day for the past several years 
and has not had a hangover—nor a cold 
—since. Dr. Erwin Braff, director of the 
San Francisco Health Department's Bu- 
reau 0] Disease Control, recommends tak- 
ing a few aspivins just before going to bed. 
Donald J. Dalessio, head of the division 
of neurology at Scripps Clinic and Re- 
search Foundation in La Jolla, Calijor- 
nia, recommends caffeine, in the form of 
black coffee, to help constrict the over- 
dilaled blood vessels and thus eliminate 
the headache; salted beef broth. for de- 
hydration and loss of minerals and also to 
increase blood-sugar levels; und, finally, a 
slice of toast spread with honey, which 
may help burn up the alcohol remaining 
in the system. Florette Pomeroy, the San 
Francisco director of the National Coun- 
cil on Alcoholism, suggesis a sure-fire way 
Jor the average person to beat the morn- 
ing after is to limit himself to one and 
a half ounces of alcohol per hour the 


s wonderlul—except 


night before, the vate at which the body 
oxidizes il. A San Francisco bartender (up- 
parently that city has more experts on the 
subject than any other) offers a counter- 
suggestion: Have another drink. “It may 
not cure a hangover, but il sure makes а 
person feel better. 


m planning to be married shortly after 
I return to the States in the fall. Before 
beginning my tour of duty, 1 informed 
all of my girlfriends of these plans and 
most of them took it in stride, But there 
is onc girl who just doesn’t know the 
meaning of the word defeat and conti 
ues writing me love letters and sending 
me packages of goodies. She happens to 
be the Kid sister of one of my «озы 
friends and I don't want to hurt her 
or endanger my friendship with her 
brother. Can you help mez—G. A., FPO 
New York. New Yor 
Return the packages and letters un- 
opened. I[ they Continue 10 come after a 
month or so, then simply discard them. 
Explain to her brother that you feel this 
is the only way lo solve a problem you 
neither want nor feel you should have. 


АМ, boyfriend is ruining his image (he 
works for a conservative law firm) by 
dressing in leather from head to foot and 
roaring around town on a motorcycle. 
Since I don't want to nag, 1 haven't said 
anything; but it scems to me that a more 
straightlooking nylon jacket would pro- 
iet him adequ from ihe wind 
and that the leather bit is jus a m 
chimo alfedation that hopefully will 
wear off. Am I right?—Miss J. R., Seattle, 
Washington. 

Not necessarily. Motorcycle leathers 
are functional «nd provide protection 
from more than the wind. The specially 
constructed heavy leather clothing is all 
that separates a falling cyclist from the 
pavement, and it’s much more likely to 
keep him in one piece than nylon or any 
other material. Your boyfriend may be 
as concerned with his body as with his 
image; you should be, too, 


Perhaps because 1 was brought up in 
the African bush country, most of my 
life Гуе been 
afi years ago made me even morc 
of one. Recently, however, I met a be 
tiful girl so simpatico that the emotion 
floodgates opened and I broke down in 
front of her. I h 


fou 


e been too ashamed to 


go back since, even though I think 1 


really love this girl. Beca 
because I'm in the Merch 
away at sea for months at a time, I am 
sure that this relationship will end up 
on the rocks, just like the other one. I'm 


se of thi 
nt Marine a 


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afraid if it does go down the drain that I 
will base all future relationships on sex; 
I'd be too afraid to become this emotion 
ally involved again. What do you think I 
ought to do, break it off before she docs 
or play a long shot and write to her, 
explaining what happened?—I. S, Mel- 
bourne, Australia 

The first thing you can do is stop 
erying—you're not the only one in life 
who’s been lonely to the point of tears. 
The next thing you ought to do is write 
to her, but don’t dwell on your emotion- 
al lapse; if she was warm enough to 
merit your confidences in the first place, 
she's probably understanding enough not 
10 require long explanations. To reject 
her in advance of her imagined rejection 
of you is ill advised and immature. 


ММ... docs the word horny come from 
and where and how was it first used? I 
have been trying to connect it with the 
horns of a cuckold, but without success. 
—J. W, Albany, New York. 

Who 
lost in the pages of history. However, use 
of the word horn as a synonym for the 


rst used the word and when are 


male member dates back to the 18th 
Century. To “have the horn” meant to 
have an erection, and this expression has 
evolved into the present-day horny, mean- 
ing desirous of having sex. 


BBecause of a heat condition, 1 have 
stopped smoking cigarettes. However. I'm 
curious whether my doctor's dictum 
ıinst smoking would apply to an occa- 
sional joint. I am not a head (though I 
was а heavy smoker), and it seems io me 
that the infrequent “j” 1 smoke would 
involve little risk. But I know of few doc- 
tors to whom I could address such a ques- 
tion and even fewer whose opinion I 
would trust. What are your views?—S, E, 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 

The question is a risky 


y onc to answer, 
considering how little we know about 
the state of your health. Speaking in 
very general levms: There is na nicotine 
in marijuana, so it should have no effect 
on the heart; also, the carbon monoxide 
given off by a hand-rolled joint is apt to 
be less than that from а machine-rolled 
cigarette. Lastly, you mention you are 
only an occasional user of pot, which is 
in your favor. The risks of pot smoking 
are greatly increased, however, if you've 
had any bronchial difficulties, which 
would make it both painful and danger 
ous to hold down the smoke. Prolonged 
or intense coughing brought on by the 


inhalation of the smoke would also be 
bad for a heart condition. In addition, 
there's the possibility of anxiety in- 
voled m using a substance known 10 
be illegal, plus the instability and de- 
pression that are sometimes intensified 
by pot smoking and that could be detri- 
mental to a person with a bad heart histo- 
ту. In short, pharmacologically speaking, 
smoking grass may nol be as unhealthy for 


you as smoking tobacco, particularly since 
the amount you would be smoking 
would be much less. But there are 
enough ifs involved to suggest that you 
consult a knowled 


cable and sympa 
knows the extent of 
your condition, both physically and. psy. 
chologically, before tuning on. 


thetic doctor who 


АИ, husband and I ате young middie 
dass people from good families. But 
there is something terribly wrong with 
our marriage. I feel horribly guilty all 
the time 1 need more sex than my 
husband does, but despite my need, I am 
basically frigid. I know perfectly well 
that sex is beautiful, so I can't under- 
stand my own unhappiness. I have 
ways wanted the best—the best grades in 
college, the best marriage, to be in every 
way above reproach—and now Im 
crushed because my sex life with my 
husband is a failure. Please help me— 
Mrs, J. A, Cleveland, Ohio. 

Concern jor perfection in everything is 
а sure means of not getting it in any- 
thing; because, rather than building yous 
confidence, you are merely protecting 
your vulnerability. You'll need to begin 
conjronting and talking about your prob- 
lems, in the bedroom and elsewhere, if 
you really want to get the best. Othe 
wise, you'll continue to reap the frustrat 
ing unhappiness of appearing successful 
in the eyes of others, while retaining the 
sense of personal failure. In short, try to 
avoid unhappiness, not judgment. 


AAs a seasoned traveler—thac is, one who 
has spent more time circling airports 
waiting for landing clearance than in 
actual travel—can you tell me which is the 
busiest airport in the U.S2 A fellow 
junior birdman claims it's Los Angeles 
International, while I maintain its Chi 
cago’s O'Hare—S. D., Detroit, Michigan. 

You're correct. According to the In- 
ternational Civil Aviation Organization, 
Chicago's O'Hare handled 29,700,000 pas. 
sengers in 1970. Los Angeles International 


was second, with 20,809,000, and New 
York's John F. Kennedy was third, with 
19,100,000. 


WI, girlfriend and 1 are in our 20s and 
until recently have had an excellent 
relationship. That is, until she announced 
that she'd like to date my roommate as 
well as me, though she said she was only 
casually interested. He was flattered and 
definitely interested and they dated once, 
with my consent. When they dated 
I became infuriated and ordered a мор 
to it, She says that she truly cares for me 
but also wants a friendly relationship 
with my roommate, Should I continue to 
forbid their meeting, Jet things develop 
and play it by car or just bow out com 
pletely?—W. E., Iowa City, Iowa. 

You don't seem confident of your abil- 
ily lo maintain your position, either in a 


feel, rather than issuing manifestocs that 


da mea aná шш sacos ТЕ your pipe has only two parts 


can only invite circumvention and in- 
trigue, As a matter of fact, your fiat 
against their meeting has probably only 
invested it with a certain amount of ex- 
citement and interest that it might not 
otherwise have had. If you deal apenly 
with them, they'll be able to deal openly 
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to get serious with your roommate, 
you'll know about it soon enough. 


Wie reading William L. Shirer's Ber- 
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wondered what it meant, Can you tell 


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important aspect of social life, and the 


LJ 
corner of a card that was bent signified th Mi d filt 
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taking the pill. The mortality vate. [rom 
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The most common side effects—such as 
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often disappear within a few months. 


АШ reasonable questions from fash- 
ion, food and drin 


stereo and sports cars 
lo dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette 
—will be personally answered if the 
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44 


You should get components. 
You should get a compact. 
You should get a console. 


You should get 
some good advice. 


Manufacturers of separate stereo com- 
ponents will advise you to get separate 
stereo components. 

Manufacturers of compact stereo sys- 
tems will advise you to get a compact stereo 
system. 

Manufacturers of console radio-phono- 
graphs will advise you to get a console 
radio-phonograph. 

We at Fisher won't eive you that kind 
of advice. We don't have to. We happen to 
make all three. Components and compacts 
and consoles. In fact, we're the only one in 
the quality field who does. 

So this is what we'll tell you: 


If you want the finest possible sound 
and maximum flexibility, you should get 
separate components. And don't let anyone 
talk you out of them. 

If your space is limited and so is your 
budget, you should get a three-piece com- 
pact system. There are some outstanding 
values in the $300 to $500 range. 

And if it's important to you to have 
your fine sound coming out of fine furniture, 
only a console will really please you. (A 
good one is essentially a component system 
built into a custom cabinet, ready to use.) 

How can we be so impartial? It's easy. 
We make approximately one hundred mod- 
els in these three categories, from $29.95 
(for headphones) to $3,500.00 (for our best 
4-channel console). 

So, even if our impartial advice makes 
you a more formidable shopper, there's a 
good statistical chance you'll choose a 
Fisher. 

About the brand we aren't so impartial. 


Fisher 77 


We invented high fidelity. 


For more information, see history-making offer on right. 
> 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


INSENSITIVE CENSORS 
It is becoming more and more obvious 

that the real threat in the wend toward 
sexual frankness may not be that it will 
cause sex crimes but that it will bore 
people, The New York Times reported 
that this possibility has aroused concern 
in a little seaside resort in England 
where the town councilors censor mov- 
ies. One of them wa "The big 
danger is that the councilors get so blasé 
about seeing sex scenes that they'll lose 
their sense of values.” 

Robert Braine 

Wantagh, New York 


ned: 


THE ULTIMATE PRIOR RESTRAINT 
In a crash program to keep Norwalk, 
iforni the city council has 
adopted ance prohibiting any 
new mo ture theaters from being 
opened within the city. Norwalk has one 
theater, which shows mostly movies of 
the Flipper or Disney type. Since film 
ratings started, there have been only a few 
Reated pictures shown in Norwalk, such 
as M*A*S*H and Bob & Carol & Ted 
d lice. 
aiming a desire to promot 


Pr 
public peace, health and welfare, 


“the 
the 
city fathers of Norwalk declare that they 
want to prohibit “adults only” movies 
that, they say, have “an impact” (nature 
unspecified). It is difficult to conceive of 
a more total imposition of prior censor- 
ship than preventing theaters from even 
opening their doors. 

Walter White 

Norwalk, California 


A NATION OF SMUT PEDDLERS 

Charles Н. Keating, Jr. founder of 
Citizens for Decent Literature, has been 
sending out a phony personalized form 
letter to people all over the country 
asking for contributions to his procensor- 
ship organization. A man I know, whom 
ГЇЇ call Smith because he doesn’t want 
to be identified, received a copy of this 
letter and gave it to me: 


Dear Mr. Smith, 

The other day a friend of mine 
sent me a check and asked that Y 
use part of his contribution to write 
to you about a problem in Chicago. 

He felt that even though you and 
I have never met, Mr. Smith, that 
you would be interested and con- 
cerned about this problem. 

Did you know that in Chicago, 


Rockford, Springfield and other ШЕ 
nois cities there are theaters that 
show movies of men and women 
having sexual intercourse? 


That he was apparently expected to 
be shocked by this news occasioned great 
hilarity on Smith's part, he being a 
soned, worldly bachelor. He has по 
who would give moncy or his m 
to Keating—except, possibly, as a joke. 

The letter. continues with the usual 
anti-pornography barrage of undocu- 
mented statistics and unsupported claims, 
such as: 


And the number of smut peddlers 
has increased by over 800 percent in 
two years. How long can Chicago 
and America survive if hard-core 
pornography continues to increase 
at the rate of 800 percent every two 
years? 


Answer: At the most, until 1983. At 
the rate claimed, if there are 1000 smut 
peddlers in America now (a conserva- 
tive estimate, which would mean there 
were only 195 in 1969), there will bc 


over 32,000,000 smut peddlers in ten 
years and, in 12 years, every man, wom- 
an and child America, including 
Charles Н. Keating, Jr. will be a smut 
peddler. With no one left to supply 
basic n , we will starve and. vanish, 


leaving pyramids of smut for archacolo- 
gists to ponder over. 

Even lunnier than that picture is the 
one conjured up bv a passage contained 
in a postsaipt. (This form letter is so 
quasispontaneous that Ke yi 
pseudo-afterthoughts.) Here it is: 


P. S. When T write to more people 
in Chicago with your contribution, 
Mr. Smith, I will not mention your 
name. But you cin take great pride 
in the fact that you have helped 
the children on North Michigan Ave- 
nue grow up without having their 
morals and their lives affected by 
this filth. 


North Michigan Avenue happens to 
be where Smi it also hap- 
pens to be one of Chicago's chief com- 
mercial streets, lined with stores, business 
buildings and very few apartment houses. 
Kids growing up there are scarcer than 
in 1969. 

Well, I suppose that in troubled times 
like these, we should be grateful for 


smut peddlers were 


We invented 
high fidelity, 
so we havea 
big stake in 
making 
understand it. 


That's why 
we're willing 
to pay you a 
dollar to read 
our book. 


Here's all you do: 

1. Clip and fill out the coupon below. 

2. Call the telephone number in the 
coupon to find your nearest participating 
Fisher dealer. (We'll pay for the call.) 

3. Go to this dealer’s store and present 
the coupon. 

You'll receive a free copy of the new 
1972 edition of “The Fisher Handbook,” 
you may have a demonstration of Fisher 
stereo equipment—and you'll be handed a 
crisp new dollar bill. 

That's all. 

No strings. No catch. No obligations. 

sher # 
Fisher 


PR --------9 


When properly filled out and presented by anyone 
‘over the age of 18 10 a participating Fisher dealer, 
this coupon will be exchanged for а сору of the new 
1973 edition of “The Fisher Handbook plus tbe sum 
availabe чишу 

ating indepen 
dent Feher dealers. who may discontinue the cler 
At any ume. Coupon is void where tated. restricted or 
prohibited dy lam. Offer expires January 31, 1972 


Name. 


Address. 


City Sai eee Zi ВН 


For the name of your nearest participating 
Fisherdealer, call (800) 631-1971 toll free. 
In New Jersey, call (800) 962-2803. 
л 
Bonus! Worth $29.95! The bearer of the 

above coupon will receive a free Fisher HP-70 stereo 
headphone set (normally $29.95) with any purchase 

of Fisher equipment from $250.00 up. 


45 


PLAYEOY 


46 


a character like Kea 
good for a laugh. 


ng. He's always 


John Robbins 
Chicago, Illinois 
prAYbOY received the same letter, stat- 
ing that "a friend . . . felt that even 
though you and I have never met that 
you would be interested and concerned 
about this problem.” If we're typical of 
the names on Keating's mailing lists, 
he’s certainly wasting his money on them. 


CLOSET PORNO FREAKS 

When the Catholic War Veterans of 
Niagara Falls, New York, trooped over to 
Buffalo to picket a performance of Hair, 
an editorial in the Niagara Falls Gazette 
poked deserved fun at their silly project. 
The editorial then went on to state: 


Meanwhile, there is at least one 
readily accessible target at which 
the C. W. V. and its allies could aim 
their next demonstration. 

It is morc or less well known that 
the pornographic films, books, mag- 
azines and pictures which various po- 
agencies confiscate [rom time to 
time are not strictly reserved for use 
as evidence in the trials of alleged 
offenders. A fairly numerous coterie 
of city officials, employees and hang- 
on have been able to sce them. 
(It is said that a few—no doubt 
unable to believe their eyes—have 
seen them again and again.) 


Predictably, for exposing the closet 
porno fr 1 our city governmen 
well g at the prudery of 
the C ns, the Gazette 
has come und able fire from 
right-wingers herea 
struck its colors. 


for 


E 


can be economically dangerous for а 
sni 


town newspaper to crusade 
nall-town morality, I think the Gazette 


doing a splendid job. My own vulner- 
able position in the community makes it 
necessary for me to ask you to withhold 


my name. 


ne withheld by request) 


( 
N a Falls, New York 


STAMPING OUT PORN 

Los Angeles County district. attorney 
Joseph P. Busch has launched а campa 
1o halt the. production of. pornographic 
movies here. Busch employs a seldom- 
used law, enacted in 1915 and revised in 
1921, that on a 
fclony in € А film is seized and 
is alleged that the actors conspired 
ith the direcor and/or producer to 
commit oral copulation (conspiracy, even 
to commit a misdemeanor, is always a fel- 
ony). The frightened youths are then 
told that they have а choice: to n 
everyone they ever worked for or will 
ог to face prosecution on as many counts 
of oral intercourse as are in the picture 
seized by the vice squad. Other tacti 
include the use of undercover agent 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


SKYJACKER SYNDROME 

At least in this country, the typical 
airplane highjacker is a man with little 
or no sex life, neurolic fantasies con- 
cerning space, motion and gravity, and a 
childhood history of fleeing from a vio- 
lent father to a mother who was a 
religious nut. This portrait of a skyjack- 
er has been assembled by Dr. David G. 
Hubbard of Dallas, who studied some 40 
persons imprisoned for attempting to 
commandeer airplanes. Writing in the 
medical magazine AMA Update, Dr. 
Hubbard reported that if the men had 
any sexual experience at all, it was be- 
cause a woman took the initiative. He 
added that few skyjackers are motivated 
by strong political convictions; he called 
their flight to another country “a replica- 
tion of [their] childhood strategy of seek 
ing the protection of one parent against 
a hostile one.” 


NEW SEX-THERAPY 

NEW HYDE PARK, L.L— The Long Is 
land Jewish Medical Center is estab- 
lishing the country's first hospital-based 
program to treat cases of sexual in- 
adequacy or malfunction, Opening with a 
$1,000,000 grant from a private founda- 
tion, the program will accommodate 200 
to 300 married couples a year, with fees 
ranging up to 51500, depending on type of 
treatment and ability to pay. A spokes 
man for the center said that in addition 
to the full therapy program, the hospital 
will provide a counseling service, con- 
duct research on human sexuality and 
train medical personnel, 


¡ENTER 


IMPROVING ON THE PILL 
Scientists, and a few others, are con- 

tinuing their quest for safer, simpler, 

more effective methods of birth control: 

+ A minipill, long discussed and still 
being tested, contains an extremely 
small amount of a synthetic hormone and 
purportedly is free of most of the adverse 
side effects that have been linked to 
present oral contraceptives. Unlike con- 
ventional birth-control pills. it does not 
prevent ovulation but inlerferes with 
conception by altering the secretions of 
the cervix and uterus in such а way as 
to prevent the sperm from entering or 
the egg from implanting. It may be mar- 
heted sometime this year. 

+ Scientists have isolated and synthe- 
sized a complex brain hormone, abbrevi- 
ated as LH-RH/FSH-RH, that offers 
the possibility of controlling pregnancy 
in any one of four ways: disruption of 
menstrual cycle lo prevent ovulation, 
immunization against ovulation, preven- 
lion of ovulation by altering pituitary 
functions, or inducing ovulation at а 


Specific time to define the period when 
a woman is fertile, 

+ A soft plastic, semipermeable sub- 
stance—an offshoot of the space program 
—is being tested as a material for con- 
tainers of hormones to be “leaked” into 
the system over periods of up to one 
year. Whether inserted directly into the 
uterus (as a free-floating 1. U. D.) or im- 
planted in the forearm or in other areas 
with direct access to the blood stream, the 
containers would release contraceptive 
hormones at a constant and significantly 
lower level than present pills. 

+ Birth control by astrology, practiced 
in Czechoslovakia with a claimed effec- 
tiveness of 98 percent, relies on the 
position of the sun and the moon at the 
time of a woman’s birth to predict her 
fertile periods throughout her life. An 
individual reading, called a cosmogram, 
supposedly includes vital information to 
guard against miscarriages, birth defects 
and other problems of pregnancy. The 
method promises no adverse side effects, 
except possible pregnancy. 


GOOD NEWS FOR GAYS 

WASHINGTON, D. .— The American Civil 
Liberties Union has scored an important 
first victory in its current campaign to 
overturn certain laws and policies that 
discriminate against homosexuals. In 
one of several suits, U.S. District 
Court judge John H. Pratt ruled that 
Government investigators cannot ask 
“probing personal questions” about a 
person's private sex life and cannot 
withhold security clearances solely on 
the basis of such information, however 
obtained. The ruling rejected the Gov- 
ernment’s traditional argument that 
homosexuals are poor security risks be- 
cause they are susceptible to blackmail. 
In a related case, the same judge or- 
dered the Government to either prove a 
connection between the plaintiff's. secu- 
rity status and his homosexuality or re- 
store his clearance. The A.C.L. U. also 
has filed suit to overturn the Washing- 
ton, D.C., sodomy law on the grounds 
that it may not be constitutionally ap- 
plied to private sexual acts involving 
consenting adults. Dr. Franklin Kameny, 
president of the Washinglon chapter 
of the Mattachine Society, collaborated 
with the A. C. L. U. in the Washington 
cases and announced that his homophile 
organization is also assisting in the case 
of а Navy dental technician appealing 
a general discharge for homosexuality. 
The Mattachine-A. C. L. U. action notes 
that the technician had an unblemished 
four-year Service record and that the 
alleged act occurred off base, off duty 


and with a consenting adult, and came 
to the Navy's attention only through an 


anonymous letter. 


RETALIATORY AIR STRIKE 

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA—Afler earn- 
ing a bachelor’s degree and a lieuten- 
ant's commission at the U.S. Air Force 
Academy, a 24-year-old Oregon man ob- 
tained leave to continue his studies at 
the University of Galifornia at Berkeley. 
While in law school, he changed his 
views toward the military and sued in 
U.S. District Court to be discharged as a 
conscientious objector. The court ruled 
in his favor and now the Air Force 
wants its money back. The U.S. Attor- 
ney's office in Sacramento is billing him 
for $53,575, which it says was the cost of 
his Government-financed education. 


KILLING IN GOOD TASTE 

WASHINGTON, D.C—Army recruits will 
no longer be taught to shout “Kill! 
Kill!” as they charge the enemy in 
bayonet training, The latest hand-to- 
hand combat manuals specifically state 
that the “shouting of indiscreet slogans 
or responses is not. permitted” and they 
even condone bayonet thrusts that are 
merely "instinclive" rather than careful- 
ly aimed at some vital part of the body. 
According to an Army training specialist. 
at Fort Monroe, Virginia, “We're trying 
to keep things modern and in good taste.” 


WHAT PRICE EQUALITY? 

Feminists who believe that 
equality means sexual similarity may 
have something to learn from their sis- 
ters in Israeli communes. Dr. Menachem 
Gerson of the Institute of Research on 
Kibbulz Education studied the first 
three generations of kibbutz women and 
discovered that some of the most liberat- 
ed ave still dissatisfied and disillusioned. 
He ascribes this to an “erroneous eman- 
cipationist approach” in which the women 
strove “toward identification with men, 
toward an equality that disregarded sex 
differences and . . . set forth male quali- 
ties and activities as the model for both 
sexes.” He suggests that actual liberation 
and personal contentment require ac- 
knowledging sexual differences and giving 
some of the traditional female roles great- 
er recognition and prestige. 


sexual 


EQUAL TIME FOR WOMEN 
cucaco—A Chicago suburbanite may 
have made legal history as the first wom- 
an in Illinois, and possibly anywhere, io. 
receive a juil sentence for failure to keep 
up her child-support payments. Accord- 
ing to her lawyer, who donated his 
services, the woman owed her husband 
about 5100 in back payments since she 
had moved out of their home and was 
ordered to pay $30 a week pending a 


divorce heaving. In rejecting her argument 
that she was Irying to raise the money, 
the judge noted that the law holds men 
and women equally responsible for obey- 
ing court orders and sentenced her to 60 
days in Cook County Jail. Afterward, her 
attorney, noting that $100 child-support 
debis rarely result in jail lerms, com- 
mented ihal “evidently, some people are 
more equal than others.” 


THE TYRANNY OF INTELLIGENCE 

CAMBRIDGE, MAssACHUSETIS— What will 
happen when racial and class barriers 
have fallen, when children's environ- 
ments are wholesome and their educa- 
lions improved, and when people are 
judged strictly on their individual mer 
its? A Harvard psychologist fears they 
will find themselves the victims of a new 
and rigid caste system based on inherit- 
ed intelligence. Writing in The Atlantic, 
Dr. Richard Herrnstein predictis the 
eventual disappearance of the tradition- 
al obstacles io upward social mobility 
and believes this will result in biological 
stratification of American society accord- 
ing to hereditary differences in I. Q. 


SOTWEED VERSUS POTWEED 

Latest reports from the smoke-filled 
rooms: 

+ A dermatologist in Hamburg, Ger- 
many, has found evidence that nicotine 
reduces a man's sperm count and, there- 
fore, his fertility. 

+ After a nationwide survey of students 
between ages 12 and 17, Columbia Uni- 
versity researchers have concluded that 
young persons who smoke marijuana are 
the ones least likely to smoke cigarettes. 

* A Los Angeles physiologist: measur 
ing electrical activity in the brain has 
found that cigarette smokers think more 
than nonsmokers. However, the study 
did not indicate whether smokers are 
smarter and more energetic or just do 
more thinking less efficiently. 

+ Two groups of researchers, one work- 
ing with rats and the other with monkeys, 
found both types of animals adversely 
affected by heavy doses of THC, which 
is considered the active ingredient in 
marijuana, The rats suffered tremors, 
congulsions and permanent changes in 
their brain chemistry; the monkeys, after 
being injected with THC four times а 
day for a month, showed withdrawal 
symptoms indicating physical addiction. 
Because of the heavy dosages used in 
both experiments, neither group of re- 
searchers cared to predict the effects of 
routine pot smoking on humans. 

* University of North Carolina scien- 
tists also conducting studies of the effects 
of THC on animals have so far found it 
nonaddicting and potentially useful as a 
painkiller and as an agent for reducing 
high blood pressure. 


pose as actors in an attempt to entrap 
producers and get the names of other 
performers. 

The results of Busch's efforts are that 
some actors have been arrested several 
times, some have quit (though that 
seems to offer no protection—a number of 
players were indicted in July for a film 
ade in February) and others live in 
constant fear of imminent arrest. One 
actress, caught while making her first 
hard-core film, would like to get out of 
the business; but she now must stay in it 
in order to carn enough to pay her at- 
кошсу'з fees. 


Willi 


IN FRONT OF THE KIDS 

I read with interest 
Playboy Forum letter refe! 
and woman in Florida who were 
for having intercourse in fr 
eight-year-old son. In my opinion, 
child exposed to sexual expression 
would be a lot less likely to grow up 
maladjusted than one reared in a repres- 
sive home. The children of puritanical 
parents are given to understand that sex 
is dirty and taboo, but at the same time 
mom and pop enjoy, to whatever de- 
gree they are capable, the pleasures of 
the flesh, Imagine the effect on a repres- 
sively reared child if he inadvertently 
came upon his parents having inter- 
course. Such an occurrence is far more 
likely to cause trauma Шап if 
child has been taught that intercourse 
an act decent enough for a youngster 
10 observe. 


the Octobe: 


e 


Michéle F. Rinehart 
Charlottesville, Virgini 


THE END OF THE ROAD 

non evidently asked an 
portant question in his song Why Don't 
We Do It in the Road? The letters from 
J. A. Kennedy (The Playboy Forum, 
April) and Harry Celine (The Playboy 
Forum, August) both assume that cur- 
rent tends will soon lead to wide 
spicad public nudity and even public 
copulation, which Kennedy тєр; 
revulsion and Celine accepts wi 
tionalistie tolerance. 

1 think Kenned 
al and intuitive approach is more realis 
tic than Cel asonable approach, 
but I agree w nruffled con 
clu That is, social systems never 
behave rationally (only individuals do 
—occasionally). The problem, therefore. 
is largely a phantom, Our society is not 
moving away from puritanism as rapidly 
as Kennedy thinks and he (or sh 
will not be confronted in the foresec- 
able future with rampant fornication 
on Broadway at high noon. If and 
when such public orgies begin occu 
it will be because society is emotionally 
ready to cope with them—not now, wh 
only a few rationalists such as Celine 


47 


PLAYBOY 


48 


can confront them with philosophical 
equanimity. 

In short, the answer to Lennon's ques- 
tion is that we don't do it in the road 
because the road was built by puritans 
and its end is still a long way off. 

Robert Wicker 
Los Angeles, California 


LEVELS OF SEXUAL ACTIVITY 

I sense a great deal of pressure on 
people to be sexually active from adoles- 
cence through old age. No one who 
chooses to remain virginal should be 
ridiculed or coerced into sex, nor should 
people be expected to engage in inter- 
course more frequently than they desire. 

When I was in high school I felt 
inadequate becuse I had no sex with 
girls—but I never had the courage to try 
to persuade a girl to go to bed with me. 
Instead, 1 masturbated, fantasized and 
bragged at school about 
irs. Then I 


In the new environment, 1 relaxed 
stopped pretending to be someth 
wasn't. I had many dates and no longer 
felt that my virginity was something 10 
be ashamed of. After several months, I 
started going with only one girl and we 
decided to marry. We've still got a lot of 
school ahead of us before marriage will 
be practical and we didn't believe it 
necessary to put off lovemaking till after 
the ceremony. 

I've come to realize that it was foolish 
of me to put myself down for my lack of 
experience and to be dishonest with 
other people about it. Yet the error 
wasn’t entirely my fault. People rate 
themselves and others on the basis of 
real or imagined sexual prowess; this 
attitude is all too widespread. We would 
all save ourselves a lot of gricf if we 
stopped considering other people's (ойе 
exaggerated) accounts of sexual activi 
when measuring our own worth. 

(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


EXAGGERATION 
When Mrs. M. Reynolds (The Playboy 
Forum, October) states that “there are 
plenty of women who are as acutely 
aware of the demands of thcir bodies as 
most men,” this is surely ап exaggera- 
tion. The few women I know who are as 
horny as men are nymphomaniacs. 
Steve Broday 
Highland Park, Illinois 


INTERCOURSE DURING MENSTRUATION 

A medical student stated in the Octo- 
ber Playboy Forum that, when a woman 
is having her period, “for the man, 
intercourse is a very unpleasant and 
steful experience, while the woman 
bly in a state of nervous debili- 
My husband says that he has 


never found it unpleasant to have inter- 
course with me at that time. As for me, 
I'm far from debilitated then; I'm usual- 
ly as horny as hell. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Los Angeles, California 


FEMALE CHAUVINISM 
I'm a member of a women's lib organ- 
ization, but I'm also a wife. I pick up 
my husband's copy of PLAYBOY every 
month and regularly read one of the few 
departments I find morally acceptable: 
The Playboy Forum. In spite of the 
subliminal sexist message that permeates 
the rest of your magazine, I must admit 
that your Forum words on the subject of 
feminism arc basically sound. You have 
pressed yourselves against di 
n in jobs. you've made sympathetic 
statements on the day-care center issue 
and your position on abortion is right 
nly enjoyed your special 
tion Backlash.” in the 
September issue, because you not only 
expressed your usual rhetoric but actual- 
ly published something of value to wom- 
en—a list of phone numbers they can 
сай if they need an abortion. Bravo, 
PLAYBOY. Now, without meaning to seem 
pushy, I'd like to know just what involve- 
ment the Playboy Foundation has had 
in the issues of importance to women? 
Properly placed contributions in these 
areas would provide an excellent oppor- 
tunity for Hefner to prove he really wan 
as has been so often stated in The Playboy 


Forum, 10 work together with the moder- 
ate elements of the feminist movement. 
Joan Sicgel 
New York, New York 
Perhaps you should be writing 10 the 
leaders of “the moderate clements of the 
feminist movement” rather than to us. 
We've been trying to do what you suggest. 
The Playboy Foundation has made nw 
merous contributions in these areas. 
They include substantial donations to 
the Chicago area Clergy Consultation 
Service on Problem Pregnancies and 
to the Illinois Commitiee for Medical 
Control of Abortion, which has lobbied 
to repeal this state's restrictive law. We've 
made several grants to day-care centers 
and publicized them to encourage other 
corporations to follow suit. We have sup- 
ported A.C.L.U. and other litigation 
to end discrimination against women in 
various areas. In this regard, we recently 
wrote to the Legal Commitlee of the 
National Organization for Women 
(NOW), stating that we'd like to provide 
Playboy Foundation assistance in selected 
women’s rights cases. Subsequently, we 
received two letters from NOW. The 
first, signed by the organization's presi- 
dent, stated: 


Over the past year, “The Playboy 
Forum" and the letters to the editor 
have indicated much-needed support 


for abortion reform and we certainly 
appreciate this stand. We suggest, 
however, Mr. Hefner, that you put 
your money where your mouth is. It 
is our request that on the 51st anni- 
versary of Women’s Suffrage . . . 
you donate all the profits received 
from all your Playboy Clubs on the 
previous evening to the NOW Abor- 
tion Repeal Fund. . . . Since such a 
noble gesture deserves the utmost 
publicity we have taken the liberty 
of notifying various members of the 
mass media of this request to you. 


We discovered that this letter was not 
in fact written by Aileen Hernandez, who 
was then NOW's president, but by the 
staff of an undisclosed chapter of the 
organization. Miss Hernandez, however, 
told us that she supported the letters 
sentiment, 

Since then, we have received a more 
formal turndown of cur offer from 
Faith Seidenberg, president of NOW's 
Legal Defense and Education Fund. She 
said that no funds the Playboy Founda- 
tion could provide “would compensate 
for the low rating of the source. We 
hold the Playboy Club and ail it stands 
for im such contempt, that to accept 
money from the foundation bearing the 
same name would only contaminate us.” 

Thus, in response to a genuine offer 
of cooperation, we received, first, a 
crude extortion letter, second, a gratui- 
tous insult, presumably based on the 
facts that we employ costumed—and 
highly paid—waitresses and we publish 
pictures of nude women. Even ihe lan- 
guage of the second letter is more suitable 
to Bible Belt moralists than to the leaders 
of a movement supposedly founded to 
liberate women. If that movement—in- 
cluding its so-called moderate elements 
—could free itself of its indiscriminate 
hostility to men, it might recognize that 
they and we have been fighting, in our 
Separate ways, many of the same social 
injustices. 

We don't pretend to be the male 
image that NOW loves, but, then, they 
don’t project our favorite female image, 
either. We think it's time the leaders 
of the women's liberation movement gave 
up their notion that rLaxvox invented 
male chauvinism. We didn't and, if 
anything, we're several steps ahead of the 
rest of society in correcting it. We also 
think it’s time for groups that are sup- 
posed to be in favor of progress to stop 
sniping at onc another and save their 
energy for the enemies of progress. Until 
this happens, social oppression will con- 
tinue to flourish unchecked. 


REVOLUTIONARY MORALITY 

In the September Playboy Forum, 
George Brown pointed out that the ex- 
ploiters as well as the exploited have a 


For people 
who are not ashamed 


of having brains. 


Great Books are published by Encyclopaedia Britannica in col 


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49 


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1 RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA 
f CLUB HEADQUARTERS 

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own expense if you have failed to send written * FREE Disc and Tape Guide — The Club's own 1 мэ. 
notice not to ship). The postage alone fcr return- Magazine, and special Club sale announcements, 1 Miss, 
Ing these cards each month to the other clubs which regularly bring you news of justissued | 
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obligation to buy anything ever! 
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e Wo 


© 1971 RECORD CLUB OF AMERICA #70 


S Lowest Pri 


] All Servicemen write Soc. Sec. 36. _ 
| CHARGE IT to my credit сага. | sm charging my 


1 $5.00 membership (mailing and handling fee 


jor eac! 


1 FREE LP and tare selected will be added). 


] Check one: Г] Diners Club 
1 


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Acct, # Expiration Date. 


ف ی س ا 
CANADIANS mail coupon to above address. Orders‏ 1 
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E E 


d Record and Tape Club 


51 


PLAYBOY 


moral code and that the present sad 
state of the world is the result of the 
D triumph of the exploiters’ code. Then 
Another satisfied customer. he asked, “What, 1 wonder, will be the 
Bl | consequences of the so-called revolutioi 

ary morality if that ever gets into power 
A friend attended a seminar on the 
Like a lot of you, Phil here would New Lelt and heard a 
Faa love an $600 stereo. But things | ТШД y 
as the КОРИ around, revolution. A professor said to hı 
justfine, thank you. О lit of far left. Tm not 

Несе ітеена ва | prepared 10 go all the way with you and 

McDonald RTS-40A com- | will stay just a shade right of far left. 


ропепї зїегео зуз!ёт. те | How would you deal with people such as 
AM/FM multiplex receiver i 
gives him 50 watts of 
music power and out- 
standing sensitivity and 
separation specs. The BSR 


She rep! 
кане you." But he persis 
ler myself pretty well educated 
d 1 preter the position 1 hold 
t would you do about th: 


McDonald 310/X Total 
E  Tumtable includes a Shure | With hate in her eyes 
A ASA | voice, she replied, “We'd el 


= dust cover. The 55-2 sealed 3 

Eq nn en Hitler wanted peace and Ma 
зіоп вреакегз йе\уегап | ed universal freedom. Goals and ends, it 
especially fine bass. seems, are always morally acceptable. 
If the RTS-40A sounds good on Don't ask a person what his goals are if 
Bic wal you ват Sond you wa ow what consequences 
his actions will have. Ask only, "Dy 
Me n ШҮҮ what means do you intend to pones 
CNAE | those ends? and if his means involve 
violence, the use of force, the violation 
^ rights to life, liberty and prop- 
erty, girdles of крат the pro- 
claimed goals might be, the real end is 

death and destructio 


md ice in lı 


McDONALD 


California 


COMMUNICATING WITH THE ARMY 


> 
published a lener from a prisoner in 
Fort Leavenworth. Kimsa stated 

lip stuff. 


that you were tmable to obtain informa- 
tion from the Army about him. Although 
it was unintentional, the letter you re 
ived on this subject was in In- 
: pers that is a 
matter of public record is releasable to 
information media: 
the 


Private Clark A. К; 
А confined in the disci 
Fort Leavenworth. He 


ÉS : sea 
£j courtamarti 
$ combs 1970, of two specifications of 
p being absent wi leave and, addi- 
y tionally, of knowingly correspond 
with the enemy by writing and mailing 


Р N 

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а letter that was ended to reach the 


enemy. The maximum sentence pci 
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Private Ramp's i 
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ial sentence in 
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EE | Ramp's record) of tr 


1 is undergoing 


The camera for great lovers. 


We didn't plan it that way. 


Our camera, the Nikkormat FTN, is 
being used as a ploy. As bait. Urbane 
young gentlemen, aware that etchings 
are passé, are inviting innocent young 
ladies up to see their photographs. 

We didn't design the Nikkormat for 
such nefarious purposes. We intended 
itasa fine 35mm single lens reflex for 
dedicated photographers. 

But these fellows, as long on savvy as 
they are short on conscience, are well 
aware of the air of savoir faire a fine 
camera confers upon them (especially 
one made by the people who make the 
famous Nikon). And of the artistic homage 
paid those who make photographs. 

In truth, the Nikkormat requires almost 
no expertise or mechanical ability. But 
she doesn't know that. And, while your 
first roll of pictures may not rate a one- 
man show; they will be unusvally sharp, 
clear and well-exposed. Further, although 
the camera gives the impression of being 
enormously expensive, it actually costs 
less than $280 with 50mm Nikkor lens. 


But be forewarned. The Nikkormat 
may be habit forming. Because it has a 
way of getting you involved in photog- 
raphy. And, as your interest grows, it 
grows with you — it's part of the Nikon 
System, the most complete in 325mm 
photography. So, despite the basest of 
intentions at the outset, you might end 
up really showing her your photographs. 
And we're willing to bet they'll really 
be great photographs. 

Whatever your intentions, the purchase 
of aNikkormat entitles you to attend 
the Nikon School, a two-day course that 
teaches you the fine points of 35mm 
photography for only $20. See your 
camera dealer or write for details. 

Nikon, Inc., Garden City, New 
York 11530. Subsidiary of = 
Ehrenreich Photo-Optical 


Industries, Inc., (Canada: du 
Anglophoto, Ltd., Р.О.) 
Nikkormat 


The beginning of your involvement. 


Prices subject to change without notice. 


-$10 for first one-year gift (Save $3.00*) $8 for 


4g Жылт 


each additional опе-уе; 


1 


ar gift (Save $5.00"). 


Please send my gift 10: = — My Name. = m 

(please print) (please print) 
Address. х= Address. E E AA 
City — E State Zip _ City = کے‎ m ел 


E Send my gift card signed "from 


19 Send unsigned gift card to me. 
Please complete the following: Enter (or) O renew my own subscription. 
¡A 


— — enclosed. Г] Bill me after January 1. 


[E Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no. 


e ЕЛҮЙ ae] 


Total subscriptione orde: A adm — 
(Enter additional subscriptions on separate sheet.) 
"based on current newsstand single-copy prices. 


Please circle А or 
E below to indicate which 
card you want to 
announce your 

gift of PLAYBOY 


^ в 
(circle preference here) 


Mail your order to + 
PLAYBOY, Playboy Building 
919 North Michigan Avenue 
Chicago, Шіпсіѕ 60611 


Gift Card В 


Gift Card A 


PLAYBOY 


56 


appellate judicial review by the U.S. 
Army Gourt of Military Review. This 
court may set aside the findings and 
sentence or may reduce the sentence, 
cannot increase the severity of the 


ndeed possible to communicate 
within the U.S. Army, and 
any inconvenience caused you by the ear- 
lier, inaccurate reply to your queries is 
regretted. 


Chief 


J. Berger, Jr. 
Correctional Division 
Department of the Army 
Washington, D. C. 


VASECTOMY 
After our first child was born, my 
husband and I agreed that we could not 
afford a second child at that time. 
Although we were using contraception, 
accidents happen, and the fear of another 
pregnancy was a constant source of anxi 
cry with us. Finally, my husband suggested 
vasectomy and, after discussion, we de- 
cided it was the best solution. The 
operation took only a half hour and we 
went home together immediately; the 
next morning he went to work as usual. 
People sometimes ask if he doesn't 
feel less manly since the operation, or 
even if 1 don't regard him as less manly. 
This is utter nonsense. We have been 
happier and more contented than ever. 
Besides, having children merely so the 
husband can prove his manliness is rather 
absurd, isn't it? My husband is enough of 
a man to satisfy me and he doesn't need 
ego by bringing more children 
into this overcrowded world. 
Incidentally, we recently decided that 
we wanted a second child, after all. We 
are adopting a Korean orphan. Consid- 
ng the number of poor and hungry 
children in the world, that is all that 
needs to be said to those who object 
that vasectomy is irreversible, If you have 
love, there are children who need it. 
Mrs, Leslie Josephson 
Minneapolis, Minnesota 


GOLDEN GUARANTEE 

Let anti-abortionists who regard em- 
bryos as human beings and feel a mi 
obligation to protect embryonic life 
prove their good faith by offering a 
golden guarantee: Let them sw that 
the word bastard will be erased from 
their vocabularies and that children con- 
ceived by rape or born out of wedlock 
will grow up loved and accepted by all. 
Let them promise to provide for chil- 
dren born into families without means, 
so that the parents will not have to bear 
the cost of bringing them up. Let them 
swear that children born defective will 
receive the best of care and that the par- 
ents will be spared, if they choose, the 
suffering and expense of keeping these 
children in the home, Let anti-abortion 
organizations promote legislation to pro- 


sex 
birth-control 


vide all citizens with pre 
education in grade school, 
devices and informati high school, 
full coverage of medical expenses incurred 
through pregnancy and childbirth, con- 
tinuing financial support for rape victims 
who elect to keep their children, financial 
compensation for the husband whose wife 
dies in childbirth and care for unwanted 
children from birth on. One way of 
implementing this guarantee would be 
for each anti-abortionist to volunteer to 
become legally responsible for the par 
enthood of one or more othe е un- 
wanted embryos. 

Antrabortionists with a sense of re- 
sponsibility toward society should bc 
willing to help bear the burdens they are 
imposing when they block legislative 
change. 


Harold A. McAllister 
Mason, Michigan 


ABORTION DATA 

Many thanks for your excellent review 
of the sources for information about 
Jegal abortion (“The Abortion Backlash, 
The Playboy Forum, September). Until 
all restrictive abortion statutes are over 
turned, women with 
nancies w 
Your report provides the information. 

Zero Population Growth Fund oper- 
ates tionwide service called the Abor- 
tion Information Data Bank. Women 
can call AID Bank, (415) 398-5222, from. 
anywhere in the country and receive 
names, addresses and fees of doctors clos- 
est to their homes who offer legal abor- 
tions. We suggest, however, that women 
from the states listed below contact serv- 
ices operated by their state Zero Popula- 
tion Growth chapter 


Z. P.G., New York 


(212) 189-7794 
Z. P.G, Albuquerque, New Mexico 

(505) 296-5141 
Z.P.G, Madison, Wisconsin 

(608) 238-3 


$38 


The repeated tragedies caused by soci- 
etys attitudes about abortion are well 
documented. The social cost of imposing 
compulsory motherhood is less clearly 
understood. A Swedish study compared 
120 children born after their mothers 
had been denied abortion with children 
from similar backgrounds whose mothers 
had not sought abortion. The results 
were: (1) seven times as many of the 
wanted children required public assist- 
ance after the age of 16; (2) nearly twice 
as many of the unwanted children had 
psychiatric disorders requiring consulta- 
tion or hospitalization; (3) more than 
twice as many of the unwanted children 
had histories of juvenile delinquency; 
(4) more than twice as many of the 
wanted children continued their educa- 
tion past the statutory minimum, 

Best estimates indicate that between 
1,700,000 and 2,500,000 Americar women 


cies cach ycar 
if our laws permitted them to control 
their own bodies Multiply the impli 
cations of this study by an unsatisfied de- 
mand for abortion of that magnitude, and 
the true cost of denying a child the right 
to be wanted becomes dear. 

Mark Horlings 

Zero Population Growth Fund 

San Francisco, California 


ABORTION CLINIC LIST 

A Listing of Selected New York State 
Abortion Clinics has been prepared by 
the Medical Responsibilities Committee 
of the Abortion Rights Association of 
New York. It provides sufhcient up-to- 
date, accurate, in-depth information to 
enable pregnant women, medical person- 
nel, counselors and the general public 
to make an informed choice of facilities 
for carly abortions without recourse to 
referral agencies. 

Members of the Medical Responsi- 
bilities Committee and experienced coun- 
selors visited every clinic listed and 
evaluated detailed questionnaires filled 
out by the medical directors of the clinics 
before selections were made. 

The October 1971 issue of the Listing 
(it is to be revised and updated periodi- 
cally) is available for 25 cents per copy 
from Abortion Rights Association of 
New York, 250 West 57th Street, New 
10019. 

Ruth Proskauer Smith, President 

Abortion Rights Association of 
New York, Inc. 

New York, New York 


LANDMARK ABORTION CASES 

As an attorney, I have worked on two 
of the most important abortion cases in 
the Federal courts. In the case of United 
States us. Vuitch, the only one thus far 
argued in the Supreme Court, we tried 
ade the Court to uphold a pre- 
ion that a Washington, D. C., 
abortion Јам unconstitutional. In- 
stead, the Court held the law constitu- 
tional but read it as providing ample 
grounds for abortions in the mation's 
capital, by interpreting health as includ- 
ing psychological as well as physical 
well-being and by stating that a prose- 
cutor who charges a physician with unnec- 


essary abortion has the burden of proving 
that life and health were not endangered. 
So now, physicians in Washington, D. C., 


perform more abortions than they did 
before the Supreme Courr's decision. 
The other case, Babbitz vs. McCann, 
is still in litigation in Wisconsin, where 
a three-judge Federal panel already has 
held the state abortion law unconstitu- 
tional because it violates a woman's right 
to privacy under the Ninth Amendment. 
The same Federal court tried to enjoin 
the state from proceeding against doc- 
tors for performing abortions. The U. 
Supreme Court, however, vacated the in- 
junction and remanded the case to the 


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PLAYBOY 


58 


Get to where 
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ina hurry. 


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You can send one almost 
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pand for reconsideration in the light 
of the principle that Federal courts 
should only enjoin state criminal proceed- 
ings in exceptional circumstances. In- 
evitably, this case will go to the highest 
court. 

‘At this writing, the Court has a num- 
ber of cases pending on its October 1972 
docket raising ultimate questions that 
it ought to decide on in order to end acri- 
monious debate. The outmoded statutory 
insistence on compulsory pregr has 
long since lost any 
remains are emotion, theological authori 
tarianism and efforts to impose, by law, 
a horrendous second-class citizenship 
upon women, which ought mot to be 
countenanced by any nation calling it- 
self civilizcd. 


Joseph L. Nellis 
Attorney at Law 
Washington, D.C. 


FIGHTING THE BACKLASH 

Neatly every family in the United States 
is involved with the need for abortion, 
whether for wife, daughter, nicce, cousin, 
fiancée or friend. Therefore, everyone 
should fight the right-to-life organizations 
described in "The Abortion Backlash” 
(The Playboy Forum, September 1971). 

The first time in the history of the 
U.S. that a state supreme court declared 
1 abortion law unconstitutional was in 
alifornia decision of People vs. 
Belous. Since then, we've done 1500 
abortions in my own practice, Each pa- 
tient had a unique situation, and it is 
ludicrous to think that a blanket law— 
except one leaving the decision up to the 
woman and her doctor—could fit every- 
one's needs, 


Leon P. Belous, M. D. 
Beverly Hills, California 


THE ABORTION THREAT 

What your report termed “The Abor- 
tion Backlash” is in reality a recognition 
by many Americans of the magnitude of 
the abortion threat in this county. 
a three-year, multimillion 
of propaganda empha 
i ney due to rape or incest, 
c presented their real 
abortion on demand. The public, 
reeling from the hysterical drumbeat of 
manipulated statistics, false claims about 
safety and scare rhetoric about popula 
tion and pollution, has, through the 
efforts of reputable scientists and phy- 
sicians, gained а more accurate perspec- 
tive. They have rejected the notion that 
innocent human lives can be taken for 
convenience or personal gain and with- 
out due process. 

Ir is hard to believe that PLAYBOY 
has taken such a superficial look at this 
problem. To my knowledge, PLaYBoY 
has never published an article that pre- 
sented an opposing view. I would suggest 
that if you question the integrity of the 


righttolife movement that you back up 
your stand by allowing this position to 
be fully aired in your magazine. 

I challenge rLAvmov to publish the 
pictures of unborn children that appear 
in the book From Conception to Birth, by 
Drs. Shettles and Rugh of the New York 
College of Physicians and Surgeons. I chal- 
lenge PLAYBOY to be the first American 
publication to present to the youth of 
America the real medical hazards in- 
volved in abortion procedui Please 
tell them that in Japan the sterility rate 
is nine percent after an abortion. that 
Romania has restricted its liberal law 
because of the severe detrim effect 


of abortion on the health of its women 


and that the prestigious journal Obstet- 
rics and Gynecology, in an cditorial 
comment, termed abortion the fth. 
horscman." 

Should readers of rLavEov opt for 
abortions without knowing they face the 
prospect of two times the fetal death 
Tate in subsequent. pregnancies and that 
pr е delivery increases by about 
ten percent in subsequent pregnancies: 
Prematurity is a leading cause of infant 
death and a major determinant of men- 
ta] and motor retardation. Does your 
devotion to the cause preclude telling 
your readers that іп Czechoslova 
where 60 percent of abortions 
before the eighth week, 30 percent of 
the women suffer some significant com- 
plication? Dr. Kotasek of that country 
called for a reform of its liberal law, 
while our own obstetricians and gynecolo- 
gists are pushing for a self-serving policy 
that is blind to the consequences, 
policy of 
s only а narrow 
then real com- 
munication is impossible. I challenge 
your position as responsible journalists 
low a full presentation 
ol the opposing view. 

Bart T. Нек п, M. D., President 
Illinois Right to Life Committee 
Chicago, Illinois 

“The Playboy Forum” has always pub- 
lished points of view that differ from its 
own, so it should be no surprise to Dr. 
Heffernan that we're willing to publish 
his. But we emphatically disagree that 
his point of view has received short shrift 
in the media. In fact, quite the opposite 
is true. The socalled “friends of the 
fetus’ have used enormous amounts of 
church-supplied, tax-exempt money to 
sustain, if we may use Heffernan’s 
words, a “multimillion-dollar avalanche 
of propaganda” against abortion. Only 
recently did the broadcasting industry 
and the press present the case for abor- 
tion, and PLAYBOY is still the sole major 
consumer magazine to support elective 
abortion unequivocally. 

As for publishing pictures, such maga- 
zines as Life have long since edified the 
American public with full-color photo- 
graphs of fetuses in various stages of 


Ш you persist in the myopi 
viewing this question 


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development. The pictures in “From Con: 
ception to Birth” are quile well done, but 
the book was never intended to be an 
argument against abortion and, in any 
case, most of us know what a fetus looks 
like. No one, including Heffernan, has 
ever made a convincing argument that its 
appearance is relevant to the abortion 
issue. 

The editorial Heffernan mentions is a 
case of selective presentation of material 
that happens to suit his argument, It 
was published in Obstetrics and Gyne- 
cology as the opinion of the doctor who 
wrote il, not necessarily as an expression 
of the journal’s point of view. What 
Heffernan does nol mention is that the 
same issue of the same journal contained 
an article presenting research in sup- 
port of liberalized abortion laws. 

Hefjernan's figures оп the 
quences of abortion are outmoded, since 
they were compiled. in foreign countries 
at a time when doctors were using dif- 
ferent and more dangerous procedures 
than are currently common in the U.S. 
In some countries, such as Japan, local 
physicians have challenged the accuracy 
of the figures themselves, American mor- 
tality figures for legal abortions are nine 
per 100.000, while 20 to 30 women per 
100,000 die in childbirth. Thus, abortion 
under the proper circumstances is safer 
than childbirth, a fact Heffernan ignores, 
as he also ignores the graver fact that 
restrictive abortion laws subject desperate 
women to the greatest danger of all—that 
of crippling or death through an illegal, 
bungled abortion. 

Every operation carries some risk. In 
all cases but that of abortion, doctor 
and patient evaluate the situation and 
decide whether or not to go ahead. If 
Heffernan were solely concerned with 
safety, he would agree that qualified doc- 
lors may decide for or against abortion 
strictly on the basis of what's best for 
the patient. But Heffernan has done 
everything he could to sce that the law 
deprives doctor and patient of the pow- 
er to decide. (He led the fight to block 
a court decision legalizing abortion in 
Illinois.) This forces us to conelude that 
his motivation springs from what he him- 
self calls the “narrow sectarian religious 
issue.” We think Heffernan has one reason 
only for opposing abortion—the a priori, 
theologically based assumption that the 
fetus has an absolute right to life from 
the moment of conception. Heffernan 
would be against abortion even if it were 
as safe as brushing one’s teeth. 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the 
opportunity for an extended dialog be- 
tween readers and editors of this pub- 
lication on subjects and issues related to 
“The Playboy Philosophy.” Address all 
correspondence to The Playboy Forum, 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michi- 
gan Avenuc, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 


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‚After Shave, After Shave Balm, Deodorant Spray, too. 


a 


ranor nave: GERMAINE GREER 


a candid conversation with the ballsy author of “the female eunuch” 


“WHO 15 GERMAINE GREER?” headlines 
the newspaper advertisement. “The 
most lovable creature to come out of 
Australia since the koala bear? А femi- 
nist leader who admittedly loves men? A 
brilliant writer, ‘extraordinarily enter- 
taining’? Great Britain's Woman of the 
Year? The author of a perceptive, outre 
geous, devastating book on women 
McGraw-Hill, publisher of “The Female 
Eunuch” informs us: “Germaine is all of 
the above.” 

This would seem a large number of 
roles to play—particularly the feminist- 
who-loves-men part, which, amid the 
anti-male rhetoric prevalent in women's 
lib, is comparable, one observer has said, 
10 being a Nazi leader who loves Jews 
(or vice versa, depending on one’s point 
of view). Bul Germaine Greer not only 
suils these roles, she adds several that 
weren't even mentioned. She's a linguist 
—fluent in French and Halian—and a 
Shakespearean scholar with a Ph.D. in 
literature, which she teaches at an English 
university. She's a professional entertain- 
er who has performed in comedy shows on 
English telly. She’s an ardent motorcyclist 
who tours the Italian countryside on a 
low-horsepower Garelli. She's even a 
skilled homemaker. “When I'm de- 
pressed,” she said in an interview in the 
London Times (for which she writes a 
column), “I do manual work like clean- 
ing, cooking. Pim very domesticated; it's 


“We've been castrated. It's all very well 
to let a bullock out into the field when 
you've already cut his balls off, because 
you know he's not going to do anything; 
that’s exactly what happened to women.” 


a constant disappointment to everyone.” 

But all of Dr. Greers accomplish- 
ments might have languished in obscuri- 
ty were it not for her best-selling book. 
Published in England in 1970, “The 
Female Eunuch” was released in Amer- 
ica in the spring of 1971 and was an 
instant smash. New York Times critic 
Christopher Lehmann-Haupt dubbed it 
“the best feminist book so jar" and went 
on to say: “I only wish that the 
timing . . . had been such that it could 
have caught the lightning that struck 
“Sexual Politics! for tt is everything that 
Kate Millet's book is not—lively, sponta- 
neous, witty, well organized without be- 
ing rigid, comfortable with scholarship, 
personal when biases need explaining, 
assertive when the evidence is clear—a 
book with personality, a book that 
knows the distinction between the self 
and the other, a book that combines the 
best of masculinity and femininity.” 

The last phrase may contribute to an 
understanding of “The Female Eunuch’s” 
wide popularity. Women can read it 
and identify not only with the oppression 
it describes but wilh its chronicler, who 
is both a woman and a winner. Men can 
read the same book and likewise admire 
—even desire—its author, while at the 
same time not feel compelled to burden 
themselves with guilt for the crimes 
against women discussed therein. For 
Greer, while never forgetting her soli- 


“Every man should be fucked up the arse 
as a prelude to fucking women, so he'll 
know what it’s like to be the receiver. 
Otherwise, hell think he's doling out joy 
unlimited to every woman he fucks.” 


darily with her sisters, goes beyond fem- 
inism. She recognizes thal the sexual 
polarities of society have been so locked 
in by economic, political and historical 
factors that it is pointless—and useless 
—to blame either sex. Rather, she feels, 
the liberation of both can be accom- 
plished only by the withering away of 
authoritarian social structures, whether 
they be capitalist or Communist. 

Solidarity notwithstanding, Greer does 
not hesitate to put down her sisters for 
approaching this goal by what she con- 
siders the wrong route. Of Betty Frie- 
дат tokenism, she says: “What she 
wants for [women] is equality of opportu- 
nity within the status quo, free adm 
sion to the world of the ulcer and the 
coronary.” Of antisexuality within the 
women’s movement: “IL is dangerous to 
eschew sex as a revolutionary tactic be- 
cause И is inauthentic and enslaving in 
the terms in which it is now possible, 
when sex is the principal confrontation 
in which new values can be worked out. 
Men are the enemy in much the same 
way that some crazed boy in uniform 
was the enemy of another like hum in 
most respects except the uniform.” 

In the movement's shibboleth that the 
vagina is irrelevant to female pleasure 
and hes been selfishly glorified by men 
because they like it, she finds “a touch 
of female Chawinism. . . . ¢ At all events, 
a clitoral orgasm with a full cunt is 


“Let somebody else organize the women’s 
movement. That's not my talent, But 1 
won't submit (o being abused because 1 
don’t do it. The women who abuse me for 
not doing it should do it themselves.” 


61 


PLAYBOY 


62 


nicer than a clitoral orgasm with an 
empty one.” Greer also chides women 
for conniving to secure their own limit- 
ed des "n that women's 
souls will have to be changed so that 
they desire opportunity instead of 
shrinking from iL" And she asserts that 
the most cherished goal of the conven- 
tional female—marriage—is a false one 
and is to be avoided. Children, she 
claims, are better off in communes than 
with the modern family. 

Apart from these shock waves, the 
book offers a fundamental and by now 
familiar restatement of the women's lib 
drill. Much less fundamental and famil- 
iar was the vazzle-dazzle book-promotion 
campaign managed by McGraw-Hill. 
But did any publisher ever have an 
author who was casier to publicize? She 
stands an inch over six Jeet, talks alte 
nately like an English don and an Eng- 
lish sailor, dresses like a hippie, thinks 
like a Yippic—and describes herself as a 
groupie. The high points of an incredi- 
bly successful American junket were a 
cover story in Life and the host's chair 
two nights running on "The Dick Caw- 
elt Show.” 

Her most widely reported appearance, 
however, was as a participant in a wom- 
en’s lib “dialog” in New York's Town 
Hall, alongside three other women and 
moderator Norman Mailer. The consensus 
of press reports made Greer the star of 
the show, but Frederic Morton, writing in 
The Village Voice, was disappointed: 
“Superb expectations not fulfilled. So 
silky an accent, so drawing room a gown, 
so smart a vocabulary, so exuberant an 
auburn hairdo, so stylish а stage persona. 
. I hoped for wit, and all we got was 
constant, regretful, weill-tooled ange 
“Why don't you have a baby? the me 
zanine yells down. ‘1 don't have to explain 
myself to any Town bloody Hall?” 

Greer has spent a lifetime not ex- 
plaining herself to anyone. She was born 
during a bush fire in Melbourne, Austral- 
ia, 33 years ago this month. She left her 
rebellious mark ata convent school before 
leaving home at 18 to escape what she 
calls a “shambles of a childhood.” Her 
majors were English and French at Mel- 
boume University, but the young fire- 
brand spent a good deal of extracurricular 
time making soapbox speeches about sex- 
ual freedom. She vecetved an M.A. at 
Sydney University and then taught school 
before being accepted in 1964 as a Com- 
monwealth Scholar at Cambridge in Eng- 
land. After receiving her Ph.D. three years 
later, she began teaching English liter- 
ature at Warwick University. At ihe 
same lime, she moonlighted as a TV 
regular and as a contributor to such un- 
derground papers as Oz, Suck and Inter- 
national Times, / was when her TV series 
expired that her agent suggested she w 
a book on the failure of female emancipa- 
tion, “Failure?” she replied angrily. “Who 


seems 


the hell says we were ever emancipated 
in the first place?” She then calmed down 
and wrote the book. 

This quality of irritation followed by 
cooperation is a Greer trademark, ac- 
cording to vtaynoy Assistant Managing 
Editor Nat Lehrman, who flew to Italy 
to conduct this interview. “After driving 
140 miles north from Rome to her rented 
farmhouse im Cortona,” Lehrman says, 
“I planned to grect her with: “Poe come 
а long way, baby? but I quickly realized 
that flippancy would be ош oj place 
when she stood in her doorway and 
glared at me icily. No hello, no how— 
nor even who—are you, just a frigidly 
phrased, Td planned to sneak out lo- 
night to see a play in Montepulciano. 
But you would show up on tme. Just 
like a bloody American.’ Yet once she'd 
gollen that initial rudeness out of her 
system, she was cooperative and good- 
humored during most—if not all—oj the 
interview. 

“In spite of her warmth and candor, 
she was a very tough interviewee in 
some ways, I had the feeling she thought 
I was going lo try Lo do her in journalisti- 
cally, which may explain why she was 
occasionally edgy and defensive. Once, she 
even threatened to cancel the interview. 
What made her suspicious of me may 
have been my tendency to confront her 
with standard inter- 
viewing technique—and the fact that 1 
represented the establishment press in 
general and wLayuoy in particular. 

“In any case, her confidence in her 
ability to deal with the pres allowed 
her to continue the interview, and her 
many other qualities more than compen- 
sated for any difficulties she presented. A 
born performer, she's on at all times; in 
fact. it's often difficult to stop her from 
talking. What she says is always intelli- 
gent. refreshing, colorfully phrased and 
frequently outrageous, primarily because 
she loves to give you the answer you least 
expect. She's generally well informed, but 
even when lacking facts, is quick and 
clever enough to talk around them, 

“Finally, no statement about Ger- 
maine is complete without some refer- 
ence to her sexuality. She said in the 
London Times that she never has sex at 
her home in Tuscany but that she's very 
“randy? She doesn’t hide her randiness, 
often turning her head to look at a 
passing man and commenting about him 
the way men generally do about women. 
This shouldn't be surprising, since she 
has described herself as a female chau- 
vinisl when it comes to sex. 

“While she was looking at other men, 
1 was looking at her—thinking that she 
is a very attractive woman, sexily built 
and prettier than her TV image and 
most candid photos, yet not as cosmetically 
pretty as that plastic book-jacket shot 
thats made the She told me 


contradictions—a 


rounds. 


over dinner al my hotel that she would 
consent to pose nude for rLaynoY under 
two conditions. The first was that 
pay her an enormous amount of money 
—sum unspecified but enough, I believe, 
so that she could tell people she'd 
ripped off Hugh Hefner. The second 
condition was that she be allowed to 
pose in the act of swinging a bat at a 
sofiball or scrambling on a motorcycle 
or fucking any one of about 100 men, a 
list of whose names she promised to give 
me the next day. She didn't. 1 guess she 
wasn’t serious. Or maybe we'd had too 
much to drink. 

“After dining at her house another 
night, I can affirm that she's a superb 
cook and a gracious hostess. She cuen 
made it clear that she wouldn't appre 
ciate an offer to help clear the table. 1 
hope my revealing this docs not get hi 
in trouble with the movement, which 
sometimes behaves as if the kitchen were 
its real battleground. 

“In between all this eating and drink- 
ing, we managed five two-hour taping 
sessions over a period of a week. 1 
began, logically enough, by asking her 
to discuss the book that had catapulted 
her to fame.” 


we 


PLAYBOY: Why did you call your book 
The Female Eunuch? 
GREER: The term eunuchs was used by 
Eldridge Cleaver to describe blacks. It 
occurred to me that women were in a 
somewhat similar position. Blacks had 
ed from slavery but nev- 
ny kind of meaningful fre 
lc women were given the vote 
d sexual freedom. In the fi 
analysis, women aren't really free until 
their libidos are recognized as separate 
Some of the suffragettes under- 
stood this. They could see the connec 
tion among the vote, political power, 
dependence and being able to express 
their sexuality according to their own 
experience, instead of in reference to a 
demand by somebody else. But they 
were regarded as cı ad. were virtually 
crucified. Thinking about them, I sud- 
denly realized, Christ, we've been cas 
ated and that's what it's all about, You 
sce, it's all very well to let a bullock out 
to the field when you dy cut his 
balls off, because you ku s not going 
to do a % exactly what hap- 
pened to womei 
PLAYBOY: You're physically imposing, 
bright. well educated and enormously 
successful. Nobody would describe you 
n emasculated woman. Yet you've 
called yourself a female eunuch. Why? 
GREER: Because it’s uscless to think of 
liberating oneself in a vacuum. You 
cant liberate yourself by yourself, Wom- 
en can become free only insofar as ci 
cumstances allow them to. Its a slow 
business and involves constant compro- 
misc. Indeed, neither of the sexes is truly 
liberated at this time, 


PLAYBOY: What will make them free? 

GREER: Only true equality, which is best 
understood in terms of Plato's concept 
ol love, You see, it’s impossible for supe- 


riors and inferiors to love, since the 
superior can 


only condescend and the 
Whereas what 
tion between 
two equals, which means that they don't 
need to exploit cach other. They sim- 
ply rejoice in each other's presence, be- 
cause what they see is a reflection of 
themselves in the other. The brother- 
hood of man would work only if this 
were the case—if we became more im- 
pressed by our similarities than by our 
differences. 

PLAYBOY: How docs this apply t0 women? 


GREER: Women have a deficient sense of 
and, therefore, cannot love. 
nnot accept themselves. They 


ence of value, which they can 
get only through some man’s attachment 
to them. As an example, take a 50-year- 
old husband who's going through that 
sort of male crisis of declining. potency 
and approaching retirement and all the 
other hard things that can happen to 
men, He has an affair with a 20-year-old 
girl that really makes him think he can 
rule the world, that he's not all finished 
and he's still got what it takes. It might 
be mostly a fantasy affair, but whatever 
it is, 1 know of no wife who could stand 
it, even though her husband may be 
obviously much better for it, She'd rath- 
er have him gray and miserable and 
confused, as long as he is hers, since she 
values her life only through her rela- 
tionship with him and therefore cannot 
stand the implied rejection. 
PLAYBOY: There's not much of the Pla- 
tonic concept of love in socicty today. 
Do you think there's any prospect of our 
moving toward love between equals? 
GREER: 1 don't know, but without it, we'll 
never sur The true revolutionary, 
Ché Guevara said, is motivated by great 
feelings of love. That may not have 
been true in the past, but I think it may 
be beginning to happen today. Take 
those American kids who went to Vict- 
nam with the peace treaty to be signed 
by the Vietnamese students. They really 
worked hard. They used the kind of 
energy and the kind of imagination one 
would suppose more properly directed 
to a personal relationship. But the odd 
thing is that the relationship with hu- 
manity on that level becomes personal. 
There's the old jive about the revolu- 
tionary being one who loves humanity 
but teats human beings badly in the 
name of humanity. So he treats his 
mother like shit and he tramps on his 
women, and so on. But I don't think 
this is true anymore. There is really 
developing a kind of group eroticism. 
Тез a result of individuals stepping out 
of the restrictions of sexual roles and 
trying to become sexually polymorphous 


and unpossessive; they're attempting to 
be accepting of all kinds of differences 
in people and to be able to see in them 
the lineaments of the beloved self. The 
outward expression of this is the group 
grope. The ultimate form of this great 
hippie ritual would be a never-ending 
copulation involving hundreds of people 
participating without shame or fear. This 
has never happened, of course, and it's 
not likely to. I've seen things like the 
beginnings of it, though, and it's extraor- 
dinary. But I must say, it can be as 
awful as it is beautiful. When I was 
Amsterdam as a judge at the Wet Dream 
Film Festival, I was invited to an orgy. It 
turned out to be a PLAYBOY-tjpe orgy. 
PLAYBOY: It must have been some oth 
company's orgy. We don't merchandise 
them. 

GREER: Says you. It was in this really 
beautiful apartment. Oh, my God, I can 
see it now, just like the pLaysor 
folds, with all that stained wood and 
rose-pink lighting and heavy drapes and 
full cocktail cabinets and bearskin rugs 
and—sure enough—the door was opened 
by the host, naked, with a drink in his 
hand. He said, with wit cha 
of your Party Jokes page, “Come in and 
take your clothes oft" There were two 
other men and two girls. The gi 
blonde and long-leeued and lovely, They 
had taken their clothes off already and 
you could see that they'd never had any 
children, which is one of the essential 
characteristics of your Playmate: No signs 
of actual use of the body have ever inter- 
posed themselves, not so much as a cal- 
lus. I was with a really nice boy and 
we sort of obediently climbed out of our 
clothes, because we were supposed to be 
in favor of that d of liberated behav- 
jor. It was so awful J can't tell you. 
There was one mun too many all the 
time and he kept pattering about, peer- 
ing at everybody else and tying to get 
in somewhere, When he put his hand on 
my bloke’s behind, the poor boy complete- 
ly lost his crectior 

PLAYBOY: Where did you pick up these 
weird fantasies about PLAYBOY? 

GREER: ] know what a PLAYBOY pad looks 
like and I know what a Playmate looks 
like, too, so they're hardly fantasies. For 


one thing, your girls are so excessively 
young. What does this do to the man 
who looks at them? His wife's legs have 


been ruined by childbearing or her bum 
sags. Thanks to your youthful image of 
female sexuality, he’s not expected to 
fuck his seamy old wife anymore. No 
one blames him for not doing i 
PLAYBOY: Surely you don't believe that 
any mature man confuses his wife or 
girlfriend with a Playmate—or with an 
attractive movie st for that matter— 
or that his fantasies about any of these 
beautiful women impinge on his actual 
sex life. Don’t you think its true that 
most mature men know what they have 


to offer on the sociosexual market— 
whether it be looks, position, intelli 
gence, charm, wealth or any combin 
n thercol—and that they know pretty 
much what they can expect in return? If 
a man is Mr. Perfection, he'll expect to 
make it with Miss Perfection. But if he's 

not, he probably won't, and his fantasi 
are likely to be harmless. 

GREER: You've got to be crazy! Men don't. 
know anything about their own value 
on the market, as you put it. If they do, 
then why are repulsive, scrawny, half 
wit little men coming up to every woman 
on the street and whispering, “I'll bet 
you'd like a luc 
PLAYBOY: Maybe they're si 
GREER: No, they're not—it's normal, You 
don't know about it, because youre a 
man and no one is going to do it to Jou. 
In any case, i's not just the centerfold 1 
disapprove of, les all the other images 
of women in rLavboy. Why, you су 


ran a shoe advertisement that showed an 
dude's 


Indian squaw stroking some 
damn shoes! And those Playboy 


are so awful. All those bleary faces 
those haggard men and those pumped- 


up women in their seethrough dresses, 
with everyone's nipples poking out and 
those fixed, glittering, maniacal smiles 
on all the girls’ faces, And I don't like 
the Vargas cartoon, Or the Femlin on 
your Party Jokes page. Or the jokes 
themselves—not to mention the ca 
toons. They all give the illusion that 
50-yearold men are entitled to fuck 15- 
year-old girls—especially if they're giv- 
en diamond bracelets—while 50-year-old 
women are too repulsive to be seen with. 
And I don't like the breast fetishism that 
I scc in rLaynoy. There's no connection 
between the breasts you show and satis- 
factory sexual activity, And you display 
your girls as if they were a commodity. 


Sex ought not to be that. It ought to be 


ion between 
buy 


means of communic: 
people, It’s not something you 
for whatever an issue of PLAYBOY cost: 
PLAYBOY: At first you condemned the fact 
that our Playmates are young. Then you 
seemed to be arguing that their figures 
are too good. Now, when you bring up 
the commodity argument, you appear to 
be joining those critics who think we 
shouldn't publish nude pictures of any 
girls, young or old, beautiful or ugly. 

GREER: I'm simply against showing girls 
as if they were pork chops. Why should 
women's bodies be this sort of physic: 
fetish? Why can't their bodies just be an 
extension of their personalities, the way 
a man supposes his body is? No. I'm not 
against nudity, and I will pay dues to 
PLAYBOY when it runs a man in the gate- 
old. You can even keep the Playmate, 

PLAYBOY: As a mauer of fact, we do on 
occasion run pictures of nude men. As 
for putting them in featured spots such 
as the centerfold, ours is a men's maga- 
zine and we assume that our rcaders 


63 


PLAYBOY 


aren't terribly interested in looking at 
nude males. Even if rraxsor were a 
general magazine with a large female 


ttraction, 
ly turn on to 


nce women don't gene 
phic images of sex. 
Greer: I know that as well as you do— 
that women are not voyeurs; but women 
are not the clients for prostitutes, either 
—male or female. And this disparity has 
to be understood. Women do not regard 
men as a commodity they may have if 
they pay for it—even to look at. 
PLAYBOY: From wi direction are you 
casting stones? As a contributing editor 
of an underground sex paper called 
you must have noticed that, among 
things, it con pictures of young 
children locked in sexual embrace, women 
copulating with machines, homosexuals 
penetrating each other while wearing 
Nazi uniforms and references to people 
being forced to cat and drink human 
waste, Do you find these images less of- 
fensive than the Playmate? 
GREER: I don't approve of the sadomaso- 
chistic stuff that appears in Suck, and an 
editorial statement by me was run in a 
recent issue about that very thing. I 
said, essentially, that the editors don't 
approve of censorship, that it's our prin- 
cipal enemy. But that’s why we carry 
things that make us sick. Because con- 
temporary sexuality is sick, because people 
are twisted and impotent and incapable 
of straightforward sexual expression. In 
sofar as we're dedicated to writing a 
paper about sex actualities, this sort of 
thing is going to have to appear in it. 
But we don't endorse it, and we reserve 
the right to vomit. That's where it's at. 
The t to apply censor- 
ship, we're just in the same bag as every- 
body cise. 
PLAYBOY: You may not endorse the pie 
tures published in Suck, but except for 
aimer, the magazine 
doesn't condemn them cither, Moreover, 
using judgment and taste about wi 
you print in your own magazine is hard- 
ly tantamount to censorship. Censorship 
is what happens when you are told what 
you can and cannot publish. 
Greer: No, it is not. One censors oneself 
all the time, Freud calls it. selbcensor- 
ship. You just censor out what you don't 
find acceptable. And none of us has got 
the Holy Ghost on his side. We don't own 
the truth about sexuality. We're just as 
confused as anybody else. And there is 
some virtue finding out that you turn 
on to a Nazi uniform. You've got to di 
cover at some point just what kind of 
shit you are. 
PLAYBOY: But isn't that essentially what 
you criticize about us—that we perpetu- 
ate fantasy-ridden fetishes? 
GREER: No, it’s not the same, because 
anybody who's turned on by the pictures 


minute we st 


an occasional disc 


in Suck is a bit strange; theyre such 
tenible photographs. 

PLAYBOY: We agree on that. Perha 
can move on to some other areas of agrec 
ment if we conclude our conversation 
about PLAYBOY. 

GREER: But it's important for me to talk 
about pravsov, because I'm going to get 
shit for giving you an interview in the 
first place. It's got to be very clear with 
what kind of cynicism I do 

PLAYBOY: Why did you grant the inter- 
view? Other feminists won't come this 
close even to insult us. 

GREER: I'm not sure why I did, but basi- 
cally I guess it's because you seem to be 
trying to go in a decent direction. Al- 
though 1 disapprove of the entire sub- 
liminal message in PLAYBOY, I suppose 
your cditori s more liberal 
than that of other large-circulation maga- 
zines. And I probably feel that some 
people will read this interview and drop 
ome of their more ridiculous по! 
bout the women’s movement. I really 
think that the basis of every political 
movement is people. And you have to 
have some faith in people, even people 
like your readers who pay money to drool 
over pink Playmates. If you don't have 
confidence that these people will und. 
stand you when you say something clearly 
enough and will begin to see how your 
statements reflect on their own lives, then 


ps we 


you've got no reason to be a revolut 
T suppose I'm really being arrogant, th: 
ing t what Fm about will come 
across. even if there should be a pinup 
interleaved thickly between ev 500 
words of discourse. 

PLAYBOY: What ave you about? Do you 
carry the banner for any particular fem- 
inist organization? 

GREER: No, I don't belong to anything. 
My role is simply to preach to the 
unconverted. I'm the one who talks to 
aynoy. 

PLAYBOY: Given the job of public cduca- 
tion you feel has to be done, why have 
the majority of feminists—unlike your- 
self—refused to talk not only with 
PLAYBOY bur with almost any represen- 
tative of the media? 

GREER: Most women aren't as articulate 
nor as brazen as I am. If I get pissed on 
by the press. I сап piss right back. I've 
been well educated and I can take care 
of myself. As you know, most members 
of the movement don't speak alone any- 
where. They're always in a group, which 
they do to protect themselves. But it 
looks bad—something they don't under- 
stand—from the point of view of the 
media. It looks like a little gang of 
people bolstering each other's egos. 
PLAYBOY: Aren't you violating the movc- 
ments rule against the cult of personali- 
ty by allowing yourself to become such a 
popular public figurc? 

GREER: I'm against the cult of personali- 
ty, too, but I think we have to use 


whatever wea 
Iways been. 
ing new. 


pons we've got. And I've 
personality. There's noth- 
bout that. 


PLAYBOY: A great deal of your popularity 


vith men, which led an American fem- 
inist to tell us that you can't be all good 
if so many pigs like you. What's your 
response? 

GREER: І don't give a fuck. Pigs may like 
honey. but that doesn't stop it from 
bcing sweet. 

PLAYBO' ently it's not only your 
sweetness that arouses the ire of your 
American sisters. There are still grum- 
blings about your putdown of NOW. 
the National Organization of Women, 
when you were in the U. 5. What prompt- 
ed those remarks? 

GREER: My feelings about the policies of 
NOW are no secret. I wrote about them 
in my book. But the grumblings you 
mentioned may have been the alterefiect 
of some comments I made at a NOW 


expensive, rad ics to 
funds. I felt like I was in the fucking 
Kennedy clan. I expected everybody 
there to burst out in pearls and raw-silk 

its, voluntee to $100-a-head 
parties to launch a Presidential cam- 
1, sure enough, thats what 
The women's 
movement is trying for 50 percent repre 
sentation in the next Federal election! 

But that's not what I talked about at 
the party. What I said was that all their 
interest in job opportunities for highly 
qualified women is basically counter- 
productive. What will happen is that 
providing jobs lor these women will 
create a squeeze at the bottom. Those 
who suller most will be workingmen 


will be pushed out of work. That, un- 
fortunately, will be the result of abol- 
ishing discrimination адай females. 
You see, women are a reserve work 
fore, and irs quite right for ws to 
protest the fact that th. 
But if we simply fight for increased job 
opportunities without thinking of what 
it means in terms of the whole economic 
structure, then we're paving the way for 
a bloody confrontation between women 
and the poor. And we must have the 
poor on our side. In other words, for 
our own purposes, we must be part of 
the general pressure for revolution in a 
capitalist society. We can't just be yet 
another privileged group applying pres- 
sure for our personal interests. That just 
isn't good enough. But In to sa 
that this is pretty much were 
doing at the moment. Another thing 
that got me put down at that party W 
my statement that a very significant fac 
tor in the American women's movement 
is its predominantly middle-class ma 
up: there is too wide a breach between 


s what we are. 


2 amg Î 
Deren 2 
is Dan Ly 


PLAYBOY 


NOW and poor women. There was an 
angry outcry and the women said, “No, 
no, we communicate with the poor.” I 
replied, "Yes, I'm sure you do, but for it 
to work properly, those poor women 
have to be on an equal basis with mid- 
dle-dass women in the movement, they 
have to be officcholders, even though 
they've never put any money into it, 
because they haven't got any money. 
PLAYBOY: Do you oppose the movement's 
efforts toward job equality until women 
establish better relations with the poor? 
Greer: I didn't say I oppose the job- 
opportunity program. I simpiy think the 
ultimate policy is shortsighted as long as 
the status quo remains, At the same time, 
the process is pract and the effort is 
educational. It’s precisely in confronting 
the Department of Health, Education 
and Welfare that women learn how the 
Goyernment works. In fact, all reformist 
political a i 
ing techniques that will teach women 
how to become politically adept. Ihe 
changes they may or may not effect 
ї really significant, because a mid- 
dle-dass, government en- 
dorses its own power by gewing more 
educated middle-class women into posi- 
tions of prominence. You'll find govern- 
ments all over what they call the free 
world—ha, ha—quite anxious to bring 
bolishing sexual discrimi- 
It doesn’t cost them anything 
looks lovely on the books. 

PLAYBOY: Then, in spite of your disagree- 
ment with the U.S. movement's tactics, 
you're optimistic about its prospects. 
GREER: I certainly am. Women are not 
stupid, and once they begin to use their 
brains, they begin to see the connection 
between one idea and the next; so that 
even though they're pissing around with 
Presidenual candidacies, they're smart 
enough to realize that this isn't going to 
i anything. They'll also find out 
just what standing for office in a demo- 
cratic country means, which is that it 
ater how much money they 
have, they haven't got enough. kt w 
cost them all they've got just to get 
beaten! I think this educational process 
making the ideology of the movement 
more and more anarchist all the time. 
PLAYBOY: Would you offer any advice 
that, if followed, might hasten the radi- 
calization of the moveme 
GREER: I don't advise people what to do. 
lts a waste of time. Anyhow, one of the 
worst results of women’s oppression is 
their propensity for taking advice. 
They're figuring it all out for themselves 
and they're being radicalized one way or 
another, but it’s a slow, difficult process 
to go from having been apolitical for 
your entire life to becoming a commit 
ted revolutionary. 

PLAYBOY: Presumably, the difficulty is 
compounded by the fact that women 
live—as you've said—"im the house of 


the enemy.” We found that phrase a 
little surprising, because you appear to 
be holding men responsible for the 
problems women have, whereas many of 
your other statements tend to put the 
bla on society, without gling out 
either sex 
GREER: When I talk about the house of 
the enemy, I don't refer only to the 
Women also live with their 
milies, the door-to-door 
y newspapers 
their drawings of fantasy wo 
ing fancy clothes and pictures of men 
making the news. ‘That's what 1 mean 
bout living in the house of the enemy. 
п quite different with blacks. They 
live with their own people and they have 
their own way of talking. They panhandle 
nd me—it’s “Yes, ma'am, по ma'am” 
t аар. But when they're at 
home, they speak a lang 
ve never heard. 
PLAYBOY: You seem to be repudiating 
the woman-asnigger analogy, which is so 
widely employed by feminists and to 
which you yourself alluded when you 
discussed Cleaver’s use of the word eu- 
nuchs to describe blacks. 

GREER: The Cleaver comparison is moie 
terary than real. In fact, 1 do reject the 
alogy. because our oppression is much 
more sinister than that of black people. 
At least they have a sense of unity. They 
have a sign by which they know one 
another. They also have a culture that 
they have developed, that is very power- 
ful and has possibly even been strength- 
ened by their oppres There's no 
unity among women. е the most 
dispa 
ion is pretty much the 


the d. 


The 
te crowd, even though their situ 


105 dith- 


me. 


cult for them to become united, because, 
as E said, they live in the house of the 
enemy. 


Even if women go to a con- 
E ng group once a мее! 
they still. identify with another group— 
the family—áand Шау much more 
strongly butnessed and much more co- 
hesive than the group to which they be- 
long politically. When you get down to 
culture, the ent logy falls apart, 
because women 1 no culture of their 
own. 
culine culture. It’s mostly a p 
PLAYBOY: Docs this dependence of wom- 
n on men account for the hatred you've 
said exists between the sexes? 

Greer: | didn't say it that way. I said 
women have very little idea of how 
much men hate them. 
PLAYBOY: Isn't the hostility mu 
GREER: The real sort of sexual hostility is 
masculine. Women lots of sexual 
hatred, but it emerges in petty and 
destructive behavior at a different level. 
They just have much less confidence in 
their way of expressing hatred, yet much 
less ability to control it, too. So it just 
Keeps leaking out all the time, in de- 
structive acts, petty acts of ego erosion 


and belittlement. But it’s nothing like 
masculine hostility. Let's face it, rape is à 
male crime. 

PLAYBOY: We gather that you're not lim- 
iting rape, as the law generally does, 10 


forcible intercourse. 
GREER: Right. 1 think rape is any coercion 
man for sexual purposes. If а 


s you out on a motorway and 
stops the car and says, "Now jou can 
walk or fuck" and you fuck, then you've 
been 


raped. He wanted to use your 
hole and he did D 
care whether you wanted him. That's 


rape, even though it's not so classified 


vor the tough penal- 
now have for E 

GREER: Absolutely not. 
ment as 


isliment for 
any crime you са It doesn't 
work. It doesn't deter, it doesn't cure, it 
doesn't rehabilitate, it does nothing. It 
costs a lot of money and it shows no 
returns whatever. In any case, the com- 
mon attitude toward rape is absurd. 
First, it's a very frequently committed 
cime. Second. its not a terribly serious 
crime, but its irritating that a woman 
1 get redress only with great difficulty. 
Third, when you consider how common 
таре is and how minor it is compared 
with, le's say, murder, it's ridiculous 
that the very few people who actually 
get caught suficr so desperately and for 
so long. And in the case of a poor man 
who belongs to despised minority, he 
is likely to be charged with a capital 
crime; a privileged citizen finds it very 
easy to get the charge thrown out. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think a woman who's 
been raped would have such compassion 
for her attacker? 

GREER: J am a woman who has been 
raped. My men friends were more bitter 
than I was, Actually, from the woman's 
point of view, its beuer 10 forge 
the rape than to go through the 
sary 
justice, She actually has to have sperm 
in her hole to prove her case and she 
has to have corrobor: . But 
how many rapes are committed in the 
presence of wii And there's no 
nit to the cha t the defer 


about 


testimo 


sses? 
se may 


rges ti 


Dring in order to discredit a raped wom 
an's testimony. She can be utterly vilified 
in cour she were the perpetrator 


of the crime. 

PLAYBOY: What do you suggest in place 
of the present penal system regarding 
таре? 

GREER: I'm interested in certain programs 
that provide for psychoanalysis of the 
rapist. Beyond that, all specific sexual 
legislation should be abolished. 

PLAYBOY: Even laws designed to protect 
women from being raped? 

GREER: Well, I don't know. A lot of 
women would disapprove of that, but 
some radical women’s groups think that 


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PLAYBOY 


68 


all sexual legislation should be abol- 
hed and that there ought to be a 
rationalization of the laws with regard 
to sexual assault. 

PLAYBOY: Would you elaborate? 

GREER: 105 а matter of redefining the 
crimes. I mean, if somconc sticks a broom 
handle up a woman's cunt, she has been 
ually ulted, but she hasn't been 
raped, according to some versions of the 
law. As far as I'm concerned, it's a good 
deal more offensive to have a broom 
handle up me than a cock. In other 
words, it should be possible to i 
the violence in a sexual assault and bring 
action against that. 

PLAYBOY: If rape is a characteristic ex- 
pression of male hostility, then abstention 
ht be considered a female one, Ac- 
cordingly, some segments of women’s lib 
have expressed their anger toward men 
by avoiding any sexual contact with them 
—even to the extent, in some cases, of 
opting for Lesbianism. Do you approve? 
GREER: I do my best to understand and I 
start with the assumption that the insti- 
tution of heterosex stinks. And either a 
person tries to change it Irom within— 
by playing the rules her own way—or 
she gets out of it altogether. She makes 
love in some completely different way to 
completely diflerent people with com- 
pletely different sets of daims on her. 
That, I think, is the rationale for much 
of the Lesbianism in the movement. 

The fact is, of course, that homosex- 
чашу quite often follows a neurotic 
pattern, 1—5 not automatically a sponta- 
neous and generous Jove relationship 
just because it happens between people 
of the same gender. Sometimes it follows 
a som of wansferred heterosexual pat- 
tern, with one of the partners dominat- 
ng and exploiting the other—although 
that’s not ay common among Lesbians as 
its detraciors like 10 pretend. E chink, in 
the end, Lesbianism will probably be 
the only way to persuade men that 
they've got to offer a at d 
PLAYBOY: Is that a personal conviction? 
the sense that | practice it. 
ay doesn’t wm 
scxually, so, politically, it would be a 
major dishonesty for me to follow it, But 
I don't think it’s something to sneer at, 
by any mi And one of the r 
men are frightened by this female sepa- 
ratism is that. the ve to be able to 
think that cock is important. 
PLAYBOY: Most women seem to think. 
mpor »cluding, presumably, you. 
In your book, you reject the notion of 
some feminists that penile insertion is 
irrelevant ure, pointing 
out that a clitoral 
orgasm with a full cunt than with an 
empty one.” 

GREER: Do you think a cock is the only 
thing I can put in my cunt? Do you 
think it's the biggest or the pleasantest or 


fer 


GREER: Not ii 


me on 


ns. sons. 


Us 


the smoothest or the nicest thing 1 can put 
in my cunt? You do! 

PLAYBOY: A thousand pardons. You have 
written, however, about the psychosex- 
ual satisfaction of making love with a 
man, so one presumes you'd rather have 
а cock with a man attached to it th 
banana or something else big and рі 
ant and smooth and nice. 
GREER: It’s the psychosexu: 
of having another person th: mp 
ant. All right, I will concede that in my 
case, I generally prefer that person to be 
a man. But what I'm trying to point out 
to you is that a man’s cock is much more 
important to him than it is to a woman. 
A man whose cock is soft is not useless, 
but he thinks he is. He becomes desper- 
ate with images of his own uselessness 
because he has never got the message 
that a stiff cock is not all that necessary. 
OF course, if he could get that message, 
he'd have an erection anyway. There's 
so much foolish anxiety about erections 
nd premature ejaculation and all the 
rest of it. You can use anything while 
making love. You сап make love without 
even touching cach other, Tt depends 
entirely оп what the communication re 
tio is between you. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think love is an impor- 
tant component in that rario? 

GREER: I've never understood anybody 
who could separate love and sex. And 
yet people do. I don't think most people 
necking in cars and swapping fraternity 
e in love at all On the other 
. vou can sometimes love a man 
benter in a one-night stand. because you 
haven't got to the point where vou ac 
tually want anything from him. You 
can't exploit him. АП you can do is 
respond to him as simply and straight- 
forwardly as possible, knowing he's 
going to be gone the next day. So it’s all 
unconditional tenderness. 

PLAYBOY: Do you love everybody you 
make it with? 

Greer: If I dor I don't make it. IE a 
n does something shitty, something 
ist or ignorant or whatever, 
then all his sex appeal y from 
him. He suddenly just doesn't have any- 
thing anymore. 
PLAYBOY: It’s been reporied that you 


na 


satisfaction 


ls awa 


were assigned an underground 
newspaper, to ball Norman Mailer. Was 
that motivated by love? 


GREER: First of all. 1 don't do what news- 
papers ask me to do—even underground 
newspapers—unless I want to. Second, 
all the underground papers were rooting 
for me to fuck Norman Mailer and 
reveal to the world just what it is that 
endears him to no one. 

PLAYBOY: "Then your motivation was hos- 
tile. 

GREER: My motivation for what? 7f I had 
done it, it would have been out of 
affection for Norman, but that doesn't 
obviate the possibility of Norman's 


blowing it, And I think Norman is 
probably a pretty bad fuck, just judging 
by the way he writes about it Anyhow, 
there wasn't a chance, I didn't like him 
enough and J didn’t dislike him enough; 
there wasn't enough excitement. It is 
ible to be perversely excited by 
1 don't mean that you fuck 
him for hatred, but you don't really 
approve of him. I suppose also Т didn't 
really respect » enough. T respect an 
illiterate cabdriver better tham a genius 
who's selling himself short, which is 
what Norman's doing. Just messing him- 
self up. When I saw him, he seemed to 
be in ather confused and embattled 
state of mind, and I just didn't feel like 
intruding om it. So I sort of withdrew. 
Maybe it'll happen ten years from now. 
PLAYBOY: Do you fall in and out of love 
alot? 

Greer: I think I gave up falling in love 
when I was about 19. Since then, I've 
allowed myself to be misled into it ag; 
and when that happens, I become abso- 
lurely abject. utterly unscrupulous, total- 
ly dishonest, and I can do nothing about 
it, From being an interesting and inde- 
pendent woman, I just become a com- 
plete pain. 

PLAYBOY: Are you ever accused of prom- 
iscuity? 

GREER: Sure, but so what? Promiscuity's 
an absolutely artificial concept and it's 
been developed as an expression of the 
prejudice against women's free sexual 


ity. I've yer to hear people register- 
ing anything like the sume amount of 
disgust at male behavior. It's. assumed, 
you see, that the man chooses his sexual 
object, whereas when a woman fucks a 
lot of people, it's because she's unable to 
say no. Well, insofar as this is the case, 
then it would be a problem. I suppose 
you could call it nymphomania. It cer 
tainly would be if there were some kind 
of compulsion involved. But insofar as à 
woman likes to fuck a lot and chooses 
relatively numerous. partners, promiscui- 
1y's a meaningless idea. 

Of course, I must add that women get 
promiscuized—to coin a word—by the 
way men behave. I mean a woman some- 
times fucks without discrimination just 
to get out of a situation, She thinks, 
“Oh, my God, I really don't want to 
fuck this man. but if I sit here and 
rgue for the next six hours, trying to 
talk this turd out of it, ГЇЇ be a rag 
tomorrow." So she says, "I want to go to 
bed, Fm tired. But if you're fucking 
going to insist, if you're going to keep 
me here all night, then ГЇЇ lie down on 
the floor with my legs apart and think 
of something else and you can fuck me, 
you stupid swine. Then I'll be able to 
go to sleep.” Men just don't seem to 
realize that if you don't want to fuck, 
you shouldn't; and if you think you 
might want to fuck a man one of these 
days you don’t fuck him tor But 


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PLAYBOY 


70 


men think that by wearing a woman 
down. they're going to get what they 
want, and then they wonder why the sex 
is so bad. 

PLAYBOY: The male's ability to turn on 
at a moment's notice—and at the slightest 
ion—is one of those sexual differ- 
at really seems to bother women. 
Do you think the slower female response 
is something women are born with, or is 
it simply retarded by social repression? 
GREER: I think it’s obvious that female 
response has been retarded. But if you 
want io talk about being bothered, 
there's nothing more bothersome than 
being a woman in a situation where a 
man believes he has to work to make 
you come. He's trying to make a good 
impression and he wants you to like 
him, so he tills your vineyard for hours 
on end. You might just as well be doing 
something else, because the real sexual 
of urgen- 


excitement. comes from a 
cy, not from the efforis of a guy who's 
trying to remember what some sex man- 
ual told him about turning women on. 
Sometimes. you know, a four-hour fuck 
сап be a big drag and a five minute fuck 
сап be marvelous. 

PLAYBOY: Some men are perhaps reluctant 
to let themselves ejaculate quickly because 
the sex-manual culture labels this pre- 
mature, 

GREER: Let it be premature, then, There 
are times when you can fell that the 
man is doing the multiplication tables 
to avoid coming. He might as well not 
be doing anything, because it's taken the 
meaning out of the whole bloody thing 
So many guys apologize abjectly for 
g too fast. But who says it too 
fast? Tt may haye been beautiful. Then 
there are the guys who go on and on 
and on and don't come at all. They've. 
id the multiplication tables so often 
that they can no longer have an ejacula- 
tion. That’s not my concept of ecstasy. 
PLAYBOY: What is? 

Greer: It’s like being stoned, Your whole 
body is awake to love and beauty. as the 
kids would say, Everything speaks to you 
of the kind of rhythm of love and 
nd life that’s going on all the 
time. That's what ecstasy really is. It's 
the combination of what we the 
erotic with what Freud called the ocean- 
ic impulse—a sort of identification with 
а huge, cosmic order of things. It doesn't 
happen when people go around twid. 
nd trying to give you 
lating sensations in the exuemities of 
your body. All the sex in the manuals is 


sen: 


1 genitality, and you just isolate 
it more and more when you play the 
push-button game. I think the sex man- 


rtners how to 


play 


vals that teach m 
develop a 
order to satisfy each other with no s 
and strain, are absolutely counterrevolu- 
tionary and deeply arid. 

PLAYBOY: We assume уои! 


sex advice itself, just bad sex advice, 
since you've done some writing on the 
subject yourself. 

GREER: I wrote a piece for Suck about the 
advantages of the femalesuperior posi- 
tion, just pointing out some of its ob- 
vious advantages from the woman's 
point of view. Generally, shes lighter 
than the man and she has much more 
freedom of movement, much more con- 
trol over her own muscular responses, if 
she's on top. Strangely enough, a lot of 
women don't like to do it, according to 
guys I've talked to. Well, they're really 
holding out on their own sexuality. And 
a lot of men don't like it because they 
think they're losing control of the 
tion, But it seems to me that the men 
who are really nice would want to know 
what it's like to be out of control. They 
ke it to happen to the woman: they 
at her to groan and flutter her eyelids 
and all that. Well, it can happen to the 
п as well, and it's nice for both 
parties. 

PLAYBOY: Do you prefer the female-supe- 
rior position to all others? 

GREER: No, it just strikes me that there 
should be reasonable variations. There 
ll sorts of positions that involve a 
great deal of mobility on the part of 
both partners. The missionary position 
is about the least interesting, because it's 
the least communicative. You don't even 
look at the person you're fucking in the 
missionary position. It can be a bloody 
bore. 

PLAYBOY: What other you 
have for men on how nat to be boring 
lovers? 

GREER: To tell you the truth, I think 
every man should be fucked up the arse 
as a prelude to fucking women, so that 
he'll know what it's like to be the receiv- 
er. Otherwise, hell forever go about 
thinking that he’s doling out joy unlim- 
ited to every woman he fucks. 

PLAYBOY: Thank you for the suggestion. 
Let's change subjects. 

GREER: You ol’ hetero, you. 

PLAYBOY: The fact that such things as 
we've been talking about can be discussed 
in a national publication combined with 
reported changes in various kinds of sex 
ual behavior, is considered ап indication 
of an ongoing sexual revolution. Do you 
ee that we're in the midst of such 
а revolution? 

GREER: No, just call it а fashion. 
PLAYBOY: Will things change back to the 
y they werc? 
GREER: Iv depends. If 
allowed to show this year, it’s ankles 
you're not allowed to show the ne 
It's like skirt lengths, Modesty is a curious 
nthropological phenomenon, because it 
to paris of the body that achieve 
their significance only by being covered. 
And 1 think sexuality is pretty much 
ke that. Permissiveness, as far as Um 
concerned, doesn't really exist. It didn't 


counsel do 


s tits you're not 


relau 


really happen. Its generally agreed 
there's nothing much wrong with fuck- 
ing, at least in theory. But it hasn't been 
agreed that there are a lot of things 
right with it, that it's something people 
really ought to be doi 
16-year-old girls h given the key 
to the door, they haven't actually been 
told to bring their blokes home to bed. 
It's now permissib'e to do a lot of talk- 
ing about it and sce a lot of pictures about 
it, It’s permissible to have a great many 
sexual fantasies, but we still haven't en- 
h positive value. 

to be a sexual 
for there (o be a 


ity w 
PLAYBOY: Does there hav 
revolution in order 
female revolution? 
GREER: Absolutely. We jus won't ha 
one without the other. There will be no 
wholesale acceptance of women on an 
equal basis until sex tivity has es. 
ciped its neurotic concomitants, until 
the sort of ambivalence men feel about 
their own sexual activity has been те 
solved, so that they don't consider what 
they fuck degraded. As long as we're at 
odds with our bodies, as long as excreta 
is regarded as filthy and semen as um 
pleasant and cunt as having a nasty 
smell, and so on, men will be at odds 
with women, because society in its im. 
agery has made the woman fundamen 
у a body. 

PLAYBOY: In this regard, you've 
quoted а p you were going to ca 
paign against the companics that market 
Vaginal deodorants, Any success? 

GREER: I wouldn't call it a camp: 

there has been а spontancou 
inst those awful commodities. I'll tell 
you why. In the first place. vaginal odor 
1 really a problem. I don't sce people 
lying around overcome by vaginal fumes. 
And I don’t think deodorants would 
be the way to cope with such a prob- 
lem if it existed, If а woman doesn't 
pay the proper attention to her sexual 
apparatus and she thinks shes going 
to make everything “nice” by squirt- 
ing herself with a chemical suspended 


ve 


ign, but 
reaction 


in an aerosol solution, she's wrong. 
It doesn't mask the smell at all, any 


more Шап going into а smelly room 
and squirting acrosol masks the smell. It 
just makes it more oppressive than ever. 
So, if a woman has a vaginal odor, she 
has it because there are сен 
ons in the vagina that cause it. It 
would be simpler to wash once or twice 
a day. But the main point is this: Va 

deodorants are sold as an adjunct to 
. with the impl 
don't sleep with your Teddy bear an 
more, you're a big girl and you fuck 
now, so you're going to need a vaginal 
deodorant. The fact of the matter is, 
however, that if you use a vaginal dso- 
dorant before you fuck, you'll get undue 
inritation—which, as you perhaps cam 
wine, must really be an all-ire cunt 
So the manufacturers have backed olf 


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PLAYBOY 


72 


a bit and admitted, well, perhaps you 
shouldn't use it just before intercourse. 
When should you use it, then? Certainly 
not before you go to the office, because 
nobody's been lurking around, say 
God, that girl's cunt smells ter 
It's all bullshit. The whole thing is a 
way of making women buy yct another 
commodity, and it's connected with self- 
doubt and low self-esteem. 
PLAYBOY: You seemed to express some of 
that sell-doubt—or at least squeamish- 
ness—yourself when you commented in 
your book that you still feel certain 
inhibitions about getting head. Why? 
GREER: Some of it does arise Пош a 
feeling that my cunt can’t possibly be all 
that pleasant. I could pretend not to 
have the fear, but most women have it, 
so it's just as well to recognize it. Men 
have been taught to glorify their sexual 
apparatus and we've been taught to de- 
spise ours, to pretend it’s not there. But 
thats not the only hangup about get- 
ting head. 1 mean, there's a kind of m 
who dives down there because he thinks 
irs the thing to do, even though you 
hardly know him. You're sort of miles 
away and you don't even sce him and 
there he is, ferreting around down there. 
And then there's always the suspicio 
that many а man isn't really into it and 
he's doing it because he thinks he's 
supposed to. Well, that's just a drag, 
because I'm really not that dificult and 
nobody has to go to all that troublc—I 
ican unless the guy really digs it. And 
there are such guys. Some lucky girls 
might even be married to them, 
PLAYBOY: Haven't you said that girls who 
are married aren't very lucky? In fact, 
you've been quoted as advocating that 
women leave their husbands. 
GREER: I've been misquoted. What I've 
said is that if a woman feels she cannot 
le with her husband anymore, then 
her children ought not to constituti 
reason for staying with him. Her misery 
will only be the misery of the children, 
because they pick it up loud and cl 
PLAYBOY: Even if you haven't advocated. 


a 


mass walkouts, you've certainly put 
down the institution of marriage. For 
what reasons? 

GREER: The word institution has some- 
thing to do with it. The moment you 
institutionalize a relationship, you com- 


pletely change its character. Instead of 
being involved in a situation where 
you're always relating to cach other as 
warmly and spontaneously as possi 
you begin to assume that you're being 
held together by something external, 
and you might as well start taking 
things for granted, Consequently, you 
lose the delicacy of response to each 
other's requirements. You don't have to 
worry. Everything's taken care of. 

АЙ thats made even worse by the 
existence of a contract, an instrument 


that, I assure you, would not hold up in 
a court of Jaw for any agreement except 
marriage. What you do when you sign 
this contract is write yourself into a 
great body of law about which you know 
nothing until something goes wrong. 
The law involves things like property 
held in common, property held separate- 
ly, the entitlement of a wife to a portion 
of her husband's earnings, the entitle- 
ment of a wile to spend a proportion of 
what she gets for housekeeping on some- 
thing else, etc. And none ol that is in 
the contract. You know nothing about it 
until you go to court, and then you get 
told, for example, that you're not enti- 
ued to anything if you don't keep house 
according to your husband's satisfaction, 
depending on where you are and what 
kind of attitude the judge takes. Its all 
secrecy and bullshit and confusion. And 
¡Us to the disadvantage of the woman, 
mainly because she has so much less 
opportunity for independent incom 
PLAYBOY: The disadvantages of marriage 
notwithstanding, wouldn't you 
that it's the best system so far devised 
ising children? 

the contia 


worst 


у, its the 
Im passionately op- 
the nuclear family, with its 
mom and dad and their 2.4 d en. I 
think the most neurotic life style 
ever developed. There's just no space 
between the mother and the children. 
And the husband, on the other hand, 
is an extrancous element in the house- 
hold who usually just exacerbates the ten- 
sion that already exists between the 
mother and the children. The nuclear 
family's just too small, too introspective 
aind incestuous unit. But our socio- 
economic situation makes it necessary, 
because it requires a family that's mo- 
bile, that can be uprooted at will. And 
this means that the relationship of the 
nuclear family to its community be 
comes ext 1. Consequent- 
ly. there is no way for the kids to ever 
learn social responsibility. 

Perhaps, but the family itself 
nes extremely close-knit. Do you 
advantage? 

GREER: Unquestionably. What really de- 
velops is an extraordinary relationship 
of tyranny by the child over the mother. 
е is ever at his disposal and this is the 
sine qua non for the development of the 
kind of person we call normal—which is 
possessive, security-secking, and so on 
PLAYBOY: Would a child raised in an 
orphanage—to take an extreme case in 
the other direction—have it any better? 
GREER: No, because there you've got, say, 
20 children turning on to one woman, 
one who's obliged to be just and to 
apportion her relationship to them ac 
cording to some kind of equity- More- 
over, she doesn't have the parental 
sanction of physical proximity. She's like 
a schoolteacher who's not allowed to 


touch the kids; that’s regarded as cor- 
ruption, So the kids never learn tender- 
ness or physical caress or the language of 
love. They remain difficult of access as 
people. But it's not because they're be- 
ing looked after by someone other than 
their blood mother; it’s because they've 
got only a 40th of any person at all, 
when, in fact, cach of them should have 
three or four or five or six or seven 
people with whom to identify and from 
whom to choose a role. 
mother and a father, necess My 
idea of the perfect orphanage would be 
one in which 20 children had 50 par- 
ents, so that no one was ever lelt sobbing 
his heart out in a cupboard because there 
was по one to hear what was worrying 
him. On the other hand, as I said, 

equally wrong that a child should have 
an adult completely at his own disposal. 


Another thing Í hate about the nu- 
clear family is the crowding that goes with 


it. Gonsider what it’s like when you've 
got 50 apartmenıs—50 little boxes—one 
on top of the other, in a housing project, 
with everybody riding up and down 
in те lift, encapsulated like monk: 
going to the moon. Everyone walks into 
his tiny house, cooks the same meal, 
duplicates the same labor. Its really 
uneconomical and isn't working very 
well. The sad thing is that people don't 
like each other well enough to li 
other way. But that’s both a 
an effect of the nuclear family. It's anti 
social; it protects itself against invasion. 
PLAYBOY: What alternatives would you 
suggest? 

GREER: 1 think we ought to wy to enlarge 
our houscholds somehow. It might be 
through group marriage, though not 
necessarily. Preferably, it should be 
through some sort of group cohabita- 
tion. That way. you'd live with youi 
friends and there would be people 
around who were not concerned in the 
sexual battle and who could referee 
when things got bad and when the chil- 
dren were exhausted and bullied by the 
tension. 

PLAYBOY: Have you lived in a commune? 
GREER: No. But I think they are the 
shape of the future, even though the 
have enormous problems. Its such an 
unlikely and extraordinary event for a 
commune to survive in the present so- 
cial and political setup that one can 
only regard it as testimony to the great- 
ness of the human spirit. Nothing is in 
its favor. absolutely nothing—the atti 
tude of neighbors, the attitude of the 
law and even the difficulties the people 
inside the commune have with one 
other. My kind of commune would be 
th very old and tried friends. People 
shouldn't join together just for the pur 
pose of cohabiting: it gets a bit too 
compulsive, like being in a barracks, 
PLAYBOY: You envision in The Female 
Eunuch a household setup similar to 


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PLAYBOY 


what you just described. A review of 
your book, by Naomi Lowinsky in the 
magazine Organ, had this to say about 
ur vision: "My critique of Germaine is 
a loving one. She has had no children, so 
it is understandable that all she can offer 
is a pretty utopian plan for a county 
nursery, with parents free to come and go. 
A lovely conceit but little comfort for 
those of us who are trying to be free and 
joyous for ourselves and for our children 
who exist with us now in the cities, 
amidst money hassles and no free child 
care.” Did you intend for your commu- 
nal dream to be taken seriously by 
mother 
GREER: Well, first of all, 
about having children is that there is no 
need for them. The world is in no great 
need of my child. Some people might 
say, "Well a woman with your IQ. 
should have a baby, because it will be 
genetically advantageous.” I happen to 
think that’s crap. And I hope that when 
we find our more about genetics, it will 
be so seen, because I don't think there's 
all that much inherent difference be- 
tween one human being and the next. 
There is no need for me to bring yet 
another neurotic, unhappy litle child 
into the world, who is likely to 
go and fight some crum 
one in Vietnam. Until we've stopped 
that sort of thing, we have no right to 
procreate. For women who already hav 
children, | realize there's a problem, 
which 1 have never set out to solve with 
my communal vision. 1 said a 
l's a kind of erotic thing to 
baby and I would quite like to 


the whole point 


But. you know, contrary to a great 
deal of popular belief, having an abor- 
tion is not the serious and responsible 
thing I is. Yet these broody 


We have no free day-care centers.” As 
long as there are no free day-care cen- 
ters, it’s just as well not to behave as if 
they were there—for the children’s sake, 
at least. 

PLAYBOY: Are you in favor of an acceler- 
ated day-care program financed by the 
Government? 

GREER: 1 have a number of feelings about 
th n what we call democracy, 
which «Шу democracy in any real 
sense at all, the government expects to 
control whatever it finances. And if you 


is hi 


don't want the control, you have got to 
say no to the money. Now, I'm already 
opposed to the amount of unlimited 


influence the state has on our cl 


education is being reduced to a sort of 
monolithic structure, inculcating a um 


and so 


notions of authority and 
on 


Nevertheless, it's obvious that some 
form of day care is necessary. But T 
think the difference is the difference be 
tween cooperative activity and bureau- 
cratic activity. Given the state. structure 
s we know it, we will get bureaucratic 
day care, which is full of laws and regu- 
lations; and if your child happens to 
throw sand at another child, he wi 
be sent home, declared antisocial and 
made to feel a complete misht. He'll end 
up a raging idiot by the time he's eight. 
On the other hand, if women are al- 
lowed the right to cooperate and to set 
up day-care centers that they run them- 
selves, under th ices with 
their own notions of hygiene, and so 
forth, then this would be much better. 
t I would really 
between 


€ to see is the 
school and home 


n feminists have been 
clamoring for day-care centers so th: 
others can be released for work. 
Doesn't the cooperative system, by r 
quiring parttime participation of each 
mother, effectively prevent that? 
GREER: Working in the day-care center is 
itself employment, It is not intended 
that the center be as barren of adults as 
the orphanage we just talked about. 
However, the women’s movement seems 
10 assume that the labor market is ex 
panding, that there are more and more 
jobs. But, as I already s: 
is no room for a sudden 
en worke 
PLAYBOY: You've expressed a rather grim 
¢ of marriage and the family. Is it 
possible that your own unhappy experi- 
ences with both might have prejudiced 
your ideas? 
GREER: No, J think my family is pretty 
normal. My parents didn't get on very 
well. but I don't know very many par- 
ents whose relationships are a source of 
inspiration and enlightenment. That's 
mainly because of the bullshit; you 
now, they tell you how to behave and 
they behave totally without dignity or 
respect for each other, But my views of 
marriage and the family ave either right 
or wrong. I obviously cannot put them 
down by saying they're a subjective г 
tion to the way 1 grew up. Fm not so 
dumb that I can't think beyond a partic- 
ular personal situation into a general 
- Like many other wartime 
ges, my parents’ marriage had a lot of 
things against itso m 
really be irresponsible of me to make a 
rule out of it. 

When my father returned from the 
n 1944, my mother and I went to 
meet him, and I remember her going up 
and down the platform unable 10 find 
him—that is, to recognize him—because, 
as it turned out, my father had aged so. 
He'd been in Malta all during its siege, 


PLAYBOY: Ameri 


flux of wom- 


mar- 


y that it would 


war 


and the famine had caused his gums to 
shrink and his upper teeth to fall out. He 
was obviously heartbroken. The war had 
really disgusted him. I don't think he 
ever recovered. He's been on sedation 
ever since. Well, he just withdrew from 
us, withdrew, withdrew. AI he wanted 
was a quiet life. He spoke quite often of 
his death as well. Well, you simply can't 
leave а returned serviceman, even 
though he is a total stranger to you. At 
¢ same time, I don't imagine my father 
1 the guts to leave us. So it wasn't 
y. But my mother had problems long 
before my father volunteered. for the 
service, because very soon after theyd 
been married, they found they couldn't 
get on. They might have made a go of 
it, though, if it hadn't been for the war. 
PLAYBOY: You've been married. yourself 
How did that rela fare 
Greer: I got married about three years 
ago to a man who I thought knew what 
he was doing. on account of it was his 


teacher. 1 was im- 
mensely flattered that he asked me to 
тту him. I kept thinking, "How ex- 

inary—this man has decided he 
me around for the rest of his 
Tc has never occurred to me that 
ge is anything but permanent. I 
understand the now-you-see-me, 
ou-don’t style of marriage. But it 
in't involve you in eye-to-eye con- 
ation all the time. 1 mean, you can 
be married and be on opposite sides of 
the carth, but you're still married. You 
can have lovers, but you're still married. 
lrs a bit like having siblings; you can't 
lose a brother or a sister. They are 
always there. 

Well. I got it completely wrong. Be- 
fore we were married, he agreed I could 
go on working 


the worst 


wants 


don't 


Now you're going 10 be a wife.” So alter 
three weekends—we didn't even live to 
gether all the time—I said, “I'm off. 
Lets have no drama, because I'm not in 
love with you or anything unhappy like 


a 


thar, and let's have no weeping or sob. 

or gnashing of teeth, It was just a 
mistake and Fm sorry. Wha you 
pay for the license?" But the funny 


thing is that T still consider myself n 
vied to him. 

PLAYBOY: You were 
GREER: Well, he asked me for a divorce 
just before I w 
mote my book. But he insisted on p: 
for it; and as long as he comes on with 
those masculine gestures, I'll resist him. 
We even thought at one stage of asking 
for am annulment on the grounds ol 
nonconsummation. But I thought the 
judge would take one look at me 
one look at him and start laughing. He's 


never divorced 


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PLAYBOY 


76 


such a big, sexy guy—very handsome, 
very dishy. He's capable of busting his 
shirt straight down the back just by 
scratching his nose. 

PLAYBOY: If you found a guy, now or in 
the future, who could give you the kind 
of marriage you originally thought you 
would have had the first time, would 
you get married again? 

GREER: Nah. ГЇЇ stick with the one I've 
got, though I don’t know where he is or 
even what country he's in. 

PLAYBOY: Some American husbands and 
cs, also disenchanted by onetoone 
rimony, daim that mate swapping 
provides an escape valve. Do you think 
there's anything to that? 

GREER: All I know about wife swapping 
Tread in books. I think it's really 
like permitted incest. In a community 
where there's enforced togetherness, where 
the corporations buy up the land and sell 
it back to their executives, where every- 
one’s under tacit supervision, where your 
wife's been looked over and the kids have 
been looked over and you've taken your 
little psychometric test that tells the boss 
whether you'd rather be a cook or a 
forester, so he can really determine 
whether you're an extrovert or an intro- 
vert—well, in this kind of community, 
by the time you've been processed by 
the American machine, you're a white 
rat. And all your mates are pretty much 
the same. So wife swapping is a bit like 
the shared sin of drunkenness. What I 
mean by that is, in America, drunken- 
ness 


is wh: 


a sort of social imperative, which 
means that по one can squeal on any- 
one else, becruse everyone gets sloshed, 
1 you all enjoy a special sort of anar- 
chic behavior that your superiors are 
prepared to overlook. So, wife swapping 
is like a form of incest in which nobody's 
more guilty than anybody else. You make 
sure that everybody's got the same; no 
one can say that the other sinned. I think 
it’s probably awful. 

PLAYBOY: Swapping sometimes manifests 
self in group sex—which you mei 
ioned approvingly before. Do you think 
it might have any value in that form? 
GREER: No. It only amounts to husbands’ 
and wives’ gingering up a fairly lifeless 
sexual relat p by incorporating tits 
of a different shape and a few new cocks 
and stuff like that. I think it also proba- 
bly relates то a kind of sexu i 
Undoubtedly, they all do th 
to one another. Group scenes are fine, but 
there's no reason they should be com- 
posed of husbands and wives. 

PLAYBOY: What about total strangers? 
GREER: "That's the other extreme and it's 
equally unnecessary. I'm not interested 
in what happens to people who adver- 
tise in the papers for personnel for an 
orgy. I mean they're crazy. 

PLAYBOY: Would you be uptight about 
walking into an orgy with people you 
didn't know? 


GREER: Yes. I'm bored to tears watching 
people I don't know fuck. The thing 
about really successful group sex is that 
all the people in the group have to 
desire one another and have to really feel 
tender and involved with one another. 
"That's а very rare situation 
PLAYBOY: It might be possible, 
only in the kind of group-cohabitation 
setup you mentioned a while ago. 
Wouldn't devoting so much of one's life 
to a group, by the way, tend to vitiate in- 
dividuality just as the American nuclear 
family and corporate setups do? 

GREER: In a way, yes. In any cooperative 
venture, there must be a surrender of 
some individualism, although it’s not 
like the uniform mentality 1 was putting 
down vis i 
PLAYBOY: But how can you reconcile your 
own highly developed individualism with 
a desire to be part of a group? 

GREER: We've all paid a very high price 


ve 
for individualism, and the fact is I don’t 
really value mine at all. 
PLAYBOY: Yet your whole 
belie what you're saying. 
GREER: That's my problem. I'm an indi- 
ist, but I'm not proud of my indi- 
idualism. I should add, however, that 
in a truly cooperative group, where every- 
one contributes what he has to contrib- 
ute, there isn't such a great loss of 
individuality as you might imagine. It 
depends on your concepts of human 
interrclationships. If they relate to prop 
erty—in other words, to people owning 
other people, and so forth—then you 
really can't see what cooperation is. Co- 
operation is working together in a way 
ngs out the best in all, which is 
why I believe that clever students do not 
lose by helping slow ones. When I was 
at school. I could have helped other 
people do well and still have done well 
myself. The competitive impulse is what 
prevented me from doing that, apart 
from school discipline, You sce, it’s indi- 
vidualism that leads you to suppose that 
the knowledge you've discovered belongs 
10 you. That's mad, because facts are not 
the property of anybody. 

It’s the difference between anarchism 
and fascism. In a fas 


le scems to 


group, for ex- 


ample, uniformity is imposed by the 
dogma of the group, not necessarily by 
the leader, since the group, to all ap- 


pearances, may be collect 
will wear black, everyone will march this 
way and be beautifully uniformed and 
everyone will admire us for our preci- 
sion marching and will blow up the 
electric power station on the 24th of 
March because everybody who's on our 
side is blowing up electric power sta- 
tions on that day.” In a cooperative 
group under anarchism, on the other 
hand, no activity would be underta 
without the unanimous agreement of 
the group, which has been invited to 
consider the alternatives. 


e. "Everyone 


PLAYBOY: Wouldn't the requirement of 
unanimity immobilize the group? 

GREER: It slows it down, more often. Thats 
why anarchists have always been defeated 
by fascists. Fascism makes for a more cf- 
cient military organization. 

PLAYBOY: Arc you in favor of political as 
well as interpersonal anarchy? 

GREER: | favor a communist form of state 
structure. 

PLAYBOY: How do you reconcile your 
belief in self-government with your be 
lief in a form of governme 
presently as authoritari 


t that is 
in as Fascism? 

GREER: If you're referring to Russia, it's 
not à communist state. A true commu 
nist system is one in which the vital 
means of production are in the posses- 
sion of the people, so that profits from 
the industry go to those who work in it, 
not to those who own it. That's certain- 
ly not tru where the state 
owns industry and the profits go to the 
state, It's a little truer of China, I think. 
but I'm not sure how much. True com- 
munism is, of course, anarchic. It i 
volves the direct participation of workers 
nstead of their doing 


as they're told. 
PLAYBOY: What's been the experience with 
female equality in Communist. countries? 
GREER: It’s bad. The sexual revolution 
was betrayed in Russia. Women fought 
to liberate Cuba, and as soon as the 
battle was over, Castro told them to put 
their guns down like good girls and go 
back to looking after the chi.dien, см 
though the children seem to have got on 
all right during the liberation. In Ch 
women are better off than they w 
before; both sexes dress the same in a 
sort of unisex regime. And Mao doesn’t 
go around giving prizes for motherhood, 
as they did in post-Stalinist Ru 
PLAYBOY: Do you envision the t 
mation of our present socie 
rchocommunist system without 


sfor 
v into an 


vio- 


but it isn't going to happ 
It’s a terribly long process 
with 
of what must change and 
how. One thing is certain: Sociery can- 
not remain the same, because nothing 
does. Seeing that change is a foregone 
conclusion, what we've got to do is try 
to influence the changes that will come 
about, so that they're useful. 
PLAYBOY: What role women play in 
this process? 
GREER: I don't know; but the important 
thing is that it won't be accomplished 
without women. If anything happens 
without the women, it will just be yet 
another postponement, yet another sort 
of authoritarianism and injustice under 
which we will groan. 
PLAYBOY: What would happen if women 
themselves were to take over the leadeı 
ship of the world? You seem to say 


n 


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your book that this would lead to less 
competitiveness and less aggression. Is 
that correct? 

GREER: Yes. 

PLAYBOY: But isn't that conclusion based 
on the assumption that softness is an 
inherent female quality? Isn't it more 
reasonable to assume that if women took 
over, they'd become just as competitive 
and aggressive as men? 

GREER: If women took over in a male 
context, of course they would become 
like men, Indeed, they generally have to 
outdo men at their own game in order 
10 be accepted ar all. But my assumption 
symmetrically, with our contour- 
ing of the female into a submissive and 
helpless and fairly useless being, there's 
been a contouring of man into somc- 
thing aggressive and destructive and 
conquistadory. So if women were to take 
over, they would unbalance this polar- 
ity. If aggressiveness didn’t pay olf for 
men, they'd stop being aggressive, and 
aggressiveness pays off for men only as 


long as it aids them in their relationship 
with passive, masochistic females. I would 


hope that the reintegration of the ses 
meant that we weren't very good at going 
to the moon anymore, but we'd become 
bloody good ter people dying 
of cholera and things like that. 

PLAYBOY: Da you think that most of the 
different qualities men and women have 
are conditioned rather than inborn? 
Greer: I think they 
ditioned, but I can't really 


. We just 


don't know what the genuine innate 
we've 


sexual differences 
obscured th 


, because 
by cultural sexual 
. There may, indeed, be some bio- 
1 disparities, but I don't know that 
they're very pronounced. I mean. do you 
think you'd be better off being attacked 
by a lion than a lioness? Or vice versa? 
In any case, what small differences may 
exist don't justify the at degree of 
sexual discrimination we see in our ordi- 
nary lives. 

PLAYBOY: Would you like to see men and 
women play pretty much the same roles 
in society? 

Greer: One of the troubles with the 
world as it exists now is that the num- 
ber of differences has been decreased. 
Uniformity is the desideratum. What 
one would hope lor is a world in which. 
there were myriad differences. But. these 
would be individual dilterences 


than deep dillerences between groups 
that are paciug out the same kinds of 
steps according to their sex or cla 


People would be genuinely developing 
different psychic possibilities and living 
endlessly variable ways. The whole 
point about abolishing the sexual polarity 
not to make the world less interesting 
but to make it interesting. Im 
sure you've noticed here in Italy the 
kind of behavior you can expect from 
the average boy. Its so p . It’s 


more 


стар 


excruciatingly boring апа ап absolutely 
offturning mechanism. I can practically 
chant to them what their next gamut is 
going to be. That's the price of sexual 
polarity, They can act only in one way. 
Their parts have been written for them 
by history. What we’re tying to do is 
free human inventiveness to a new kind 
of interplay between the sexes where the 
rules have not bee itten by some 
humorless priest. 

PLAYBOY. Even if there weren't unaltera 
ble rules for the sexes in your world, 
would there at least be flexible guide- 
lines? 

GREER: What for? Without guidelines, I 
could pursue you. 1 could climb in your 
bedroom window in the middle of the 
night. How do you know you wouldn't 
like it? 
PLAYBOY: I 
GREER: Why 
PLAYBOY: The point is that we've had 
centuries of experience with men behav- 
ing one way, women another, Even i 
it’s undesirable, how is all this going to 
be deconditioned? 

GREER: We're not going to eliminate sex 
roles by fiat. It’s going to be a very 
lual process and it’s going to be 
connected with socioeconomic processes 
that destroy the functions of the sex role: 
PLAYBOY: Once the roles have me:ged, 
don't you think there might be a reduc 
tion in sexual turn-on? 

GREER: 1 ne—at least I hope—that 
if it happens the right way, there will be 
a bigger sexual turn-on, In a bureau- 
cratic state, where sex roles are formally 
abolished by a ruling minority. there 
wou'd be a turnolf, because the people 
wouldn't know how to cope with it. 
Women are suddenly allowed to be cos- 
monauts and lift drivers and manual 
laborers and all the rest of it. But that 
represents a d of oppression, 
because the women themselves have nev- 
er yearned for it nor expected it and 


fa woman answers, climb down. 


gu 


new 


they don't find any new way of express 


thems it’s anoth- 


Aves in it. In short, 
ng the rules, 
The authoritarian personality 15 al- 
ways sexually confused and the sexually 
liberated person, I think, is antiauthori 
tarian. S» unless we develop some kind 
of cooperative life style, and not a bu- 
reaucratic one in which we're to'd we 
hav 
want to crack a fart, 
sure that we create real. freedom, 
the abolition of sex roles will cer 
be a turnoff. From what I gather, th 
whats been happening in Sweden. It's 
otherwise hard to explain why so many 
Swedish girls come to Italy for summer 
sex. I think ivs because woncı 
become competitive with men without 
ny corresponding increase in real frec- 
dom. They've been emancipated by law, 
which is a contradiction in terms. 
PLAYBOY: What about the failure of fe- 


to fill out forms every time we 
unless we make 
then 


nly 


have 


male equality in other supposedly liber- 
ated cultures and subcultures—such 
for example, the rock culture, with its 
groupies and its male elitism among 
musicians? 
GREER: Rock "n' roll—at least in England 
—is more or les working class and 
generally characterized by working Cass 
sexual mores. The people in it are very 
sentimental, they're very into monogamy 
and they treat their casual sex partners 
very badly. But then, you know, their 
ual sex partners are very often pretty 
contemptible. These girls are very much 
0 celebrity fucking, apart from being 
somewhat stupid and greedy. [Us very 
desolating to be fucking some chick and 
realize she’s thinking, “Wait till I ас 
my girlfriends this is a  superstar's 
sperm. You want to smell it? 
The women's movement has got up- 
tight about the bad things in rock 'n' 
roll, but it’s useless to try to alter behav- 
ior—or censor the art form itself, A lot 
of rock-n-roll music puts down women 
but this will change only when the wom. 
en change. What surprises me is that 
there's any other kind of rock-n-roll 
music about women. And there’s plenty. 
There are songs like “I just want to 
hold ya, I don't wanna hold you down." 
PLAYBOY: In a Life story about you, you 
were quoted as saying that you spent 14 
years as a groupie. 15 that true 
GREER: Not really. I have been involved 
with musicians since I was 18, but to 
think of me as a groupie in the popular 
sense of the word is typical of people's 
inability to unde distinctions or 
subieties. I me: y think that group- 
ies are little girls who hang around the 
stage door and scream, And then climb 
transoms and vei ors and h: 
ten minutes in a toilet with a musi 
Well, that's nor what groupies are. 
PLAYBOY: What do you think they are? 
GREER: The real groupies are women who 
mply associate with the musicians. 
They happen to be very free sexually 
and are quite capable of putting up 
with the lonely and peripatetic lives of 
musicians without making permanen 
claims, Many of them come to the pop 
concerts as the band's guests. They 
now all the gossip and all the other 
musicians. They dig the scene in spite of 
the fact that pop musicians are very 
often not great fuckers, and there are 
tons of reasons why they shouldn't be 
Apart from being bewildered and lone- 
ly, the musicians very often have a bad 
drug habit of some sort, A lot of the 
women are older than the musicians. 
Bur it got all screwed up becau 
press grabbed the idea 


па ra 


bullshit about it. You know the type of 
"D was knocked up by a 
the 


story I mean: 
and had an 
a RollsRoyce and no 
should be degraded the way I was. 
Groupies are not degraded by thei 


abortion 


| 

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PLAYBOY 


80 


sexual behavior any more than Greek 
courtesans were, Some of them fuck every- 
body. Some of them don't fuck at all. 
Some of them fuck people all at once 
and others fuck people one by one. Still 
others refuse to fuck anybody and just 
give head. 

PLAYBOY: None of thi: 


helps us under- 


nd why you call yourself a groupie, in 

ny sense of the word. 
GREER: Well, I get very impatient with 
s who treat groupies badly. 


Us one reason I let them call me 
groupie, because they're always saying 
what a different sort of woman I am and 
how people have to respect me and 
everything, And I say, "Well, fuck you, 
Charley, if you're prepared to ball them, 
you should respect them. Don't screw 
them up and then put them down." T 
really can't stand it when some tuppenny- 
ha'penny pop star. whose music isn't 
worth a pinch of shit. says something 
snotty to the music papers about the 
female flotsam and jetsam that he's been 
involved with. 
PLAYBOY: A while ago, you menti 
drug problems among the musici 
What drugs were you alluding to? 
GREER: Among others, the amphetamines 
and heroin. But, of course, the problems 
to musicians. I mean, 
chemical civilization. 1 
nt to be happy, you're supposed 
to take something. You know, people 
ned for heroin. They're made 
Table to it by this whole notion of 
happiness that is promulgated 
everywhere. And now that the authori- 
ties are trying to start a campaign to 
turn people off heroin, they're powerless 
to reverse the mechanism. So all the big 
posters of people mainlining that аге 
put in the subway in New York and that 
are designed to propagandize against 
drug use are just a turna 
PLAYBOY: A kind of chemi 
GREEI actly. And heroin is the perfect 
commodity, Because once you've persuad- 
ed your customer to buy it the first time, 
you're sure of increasing sales the rest of 
his natural life, It won't even kill him if 
he's carcful. Needless to say, Im op- 
posed to amphetamines, barbiturates and 
heroin. But I'm opposed to the notion of 
n amy form, I'm also 
and aspi 
PLAYBOY: What about LSD? 
GREER: I don't disapprove of LSD when 
used in a cert у. Bur I 
few students who use too much of it, 
and the results are really a bit scary. 
PLAYBOY: How do you {cel about pot? 
I think it’s pretty good, I's 
ng sort of drug. It helps people 
cool out a bit and see what the connec- 
tions are between things they were too 
ight to scc before. It’s produced a 
4 of mind, I think. People arc 
much more introspective than formerly, 
In al sort of way, they 
ng patterns of behav: 


ned 


n. 


new 


г 


without а desire to classify them with all 
the old household psychology terms. I 


think rijuana could replace ciga- 
rettes and liquor, we'd be doing every- 
body a service. 


PLAYBOY: Contrary to what you're saying 
now, haven't you gone on record against 
the legalization of pot? 

GREER: Yes, but my position doesn't con- 
tradict what I just said. I've pointed out 
that, at the present time, marijua 
the people's traffic. When it's 1 
it will be n away from the people 
and a situation will develop in which 
its production and marketing are con 
trolled by the same firms that now sell 
I've even heard that names 
Acapulco Gold and Panama Red 
have been copyrighted by the cigarette 
firms and that they've already designed 
the marketing for marijuana and they 
just waiting for the signal to go. And. of 
course, governments will tax it to death. 
ICI be as degraded as tobacco is in 
cigarettes, so that the marijuana just 
won't be the same thing. Now we smoke 
fresh m tana or hashish and we know 
how to distinguish good from bad. So I 
say to the kids, “Do you really want to 
pay even more than you pay now? And 
do you want to know that smoking 
marijuana is financing nuclear arma- 
ments and wars in Vietnam and all that 
р? 
PLAYBOY: But don't you 


ever disadvantages leg, 
woduce, it would at least eliminare jail 
sentences for user: 


GREER: I don't want them to legalize 
marijuana, I just want them to ign 
I mean, they didn't outlaw boiled eggs 
d then legalize them. did they? They 
just Jet you eat them. You know, it's like 
this silly society to talk about legalizing 
things that we all simply ought to be able 
to take for granted. Abortion's another 
example. 

PLAYBOY: Do you have any particu 
thoughts about abortion, beyond being 
against the Laws restricting it? 

GREER: The question of abor 
complicated. When it comes to Iate-term 
abortions, I don't really think they're 
any great shakes. They're bad for the 
women and they're bad for the 


jon is v 


who's almost viable and put 
rubbish tin. On the other hand. very 
few women voluntarily have a late-term 
abortion. They would like an carly-term. 
abortion, but they just don't get it. 
They get grilled and examined and 
pushed around and bullied and con- 
fused for so long that they're six months 
gone before a decision is made. Certain- 
ly, I think birth control is preferable to 


abortion just fom a personal point of 
view. 
PLAYBOY: Bur you wouldn't have any 


objections to an abortion pill, if such a 
sale and elective chemical could be de 


loped, would you 


у 


GREER: Not at all. In fact, I'm very inter 
ested in work being done in America 
and in Africa on prostaglandins. Some- 
thing like this drug will one day be used 
to remove a fertilized egg before its 


properly implanted in the vagina. In- 
stead of dosing yoursell ly all 


the time in order to prevent a pregnancy, 
you'll only use a medication in order to 
deal with a state of affairs that already 
exists. Instead of be nuly med; 
cated, you m ted only three 
or four times а усап. It scems to me that 
that's preferable to what exists now, 
with the pill interfering continually 
h our endocrine balance; one of the 
results, as many men can tell you, is loss 
of sexual interest for a lot of women. 
That's apart from the fact that it causes 
them to retain water in their system and 
to be heavy-breasted and fat, with swol- 
Jen ankles and depressed in many cases 
There are plenty of reasons the pill 
shouldn't be allowed to reign supreme 
as the answer to controlling population 
PLAYBOY: A currently fashionable method 
for population control is voluntary sterili 
zation—particularly vasectomy. But you 
criticize this operation in your book. Why? 
GREER: A great many women in the 
movement think that it's time the men 
bore the responsibility, but I don’t find 
that the responsibility for my own child 
bearing is in any way distinct from my 
claim for control over my own body. 
And if Pm to rely on some man’s good- 
ness in being sterilized, then I've lost 
control of my body and he's got control 
of it. It also means tl he can demand 
my fidelity, because he's sterilized. I с 
fuck him without problems, but I can't 
fuck anybody else without some form of 
contraception. Apart from anything else, 
ble to tell whether or not a 
m: the one who's going 
to have the kid, so I'd like to know what 
the situation is without having to trust 
his scout's honor. 

But my strongest reservation concerns 
the fact that in many cases, the male is 
ersibly sterilized. He's become 
Kind of fuck machi and there's no way 
which he can reassess his position 
I tell you, I wouldn't sterilize myself. 
Apart from everything else, biology is a 
sort of emergency mechanism. We're de- 
signed so that if society does something 
really stupid, then whoever of us is left 
alive has got a reasonable chance of 
repopulating the carth. 


PLAYBOY: The population issue is part of 
the environ 


the larger effort to save 
ment. Do you think this i 
I the attention the press has given it? 
GREER: Indeed it does. I come fom a 
country that is half destroyed by ero. 
sion, and so do you. The desert propoi 
tion in the United States increased 
enormously, through insufic 
tion, overintensive culti 
struction of the natural flora. 
PLAYBOY: You've been quoted as cri 


ion and de- 


Decisions...decisions... 


[ve made m 'u acisior z 


ae PAL MALL GOLD 1005 


Longer. yet milder 


Longer length "^ 
...milder taste 


PLAYBOY 


82 


the U.S. not only for its ecological ex- 
cesses but also for its cultural excesses. Do 
you think of yourself as anti-American? 
GREER: No. I'm anticapitalism. That 
means I find things to grieve over in 
nearly every country. But 1 was horrified 
at the ugliness of America when I spent 
time there promoting my book. It was 
something I hadwt expected. Of course, 
your county deliberately showed me its 
asshole. I mean, she made no attempt to 
woo me with anything beautiful. All 1 


saw were airports and motorways, so 
that America for me is a ribbon of 
macadam dancing in the heat. And then 


there were the motel twin beds. I was 
always given twin beds. I never under- 
stood what the hell I was supposed to 
do with the other fucking bed. because 
if two of you walked in, yowd be given 
two rooms with twin beds. 

And. frankly, I expected more afflu- 
ence. I didn't expect this [celing among 


people that they never have quite 
enough money, I've never seen men 
work so hard nor so unhappily. I had 


the feeling that there was no security. 
There were men older than my father 
getting up at five A.M. to make sure that 
l got to an early-morning television 
show. They were literally chewing their 
lips to see that I wouldn't say any- 
thing that would fuck up their relation- 
ship with the station and that Fd be 
nice. At the same time, some of them 
would try to bully me until I got nasty 
ind said, “Now, look, don't come on 
with that shit. Just cur it ош or I'm 
fuckin’ off I don't have to stay here. I 
don't have to sell to your bookstore that 
you've been buttering up for the last 25 
years. Just cool it. IF I tell you 1 want to 
eat, I want to eat. I've been doing this 
for weeks and I'm hungry and I'm tired 
and I know what I need. So feed me 
and don't give me no shit about how 
you've got to be such and such a place 
atsuch and such a time. 
PLAYBOY: How did you like the food? 
as horrible. I had a s 
Washington, D. C., that I'll never forget; 
it was one of the most deeply traumatic 
periences of my life, because out came 
this great shelf of steak and it quivered 
on the plate. It was charbroiled or some 
bullshit infrared mode of cooking and I 
put my Knife into it and the Кайе sank 
through it as if it were butter, and yet it 
wasn't fat! It was all meat. 1 remem- 
Dered there м some id of chemical 
that you're not allowed 10 put in meat 
where in the world but in Ameri 
Whatever it was, that steak tasted like 
block of mucus, 

PLAYBOY: Whats the worst memory of 
tour? 

San Francisco, where I had 13 
n one day. That may 
have prejudiced me, but my memory of 
that city is that it looks like a shark's 
mouth, because they've built it up too 


appointments 


much and destroyed all the natural con- 
tour of the coast line. I went to Berkeley 
and the kids were so uptight, so destruc- 
tive of each other, it was really frighten- 
ing. Oh, 1 feel so sorry that it’s all gone 
wrong. The American dream really has 
turned into a nightmare and most people 
who realize this in some dim way are 
terrified of changing it. They'd rather 
die than admit failure. They'd rather 
kill their children than have their chil- 
dren tell them to change. 

PLAYBOY: Would you go to the Un 
States for another promotion tour? 
GREER: I might do selected events, but I 
don't think I'm going to sign another 
copy of a book in a bookstore for the 
rest of my life. It's the most pathetically 
dishonest procedure. It really used to do 
my head in, because people would buy 
the book just for the autograph. Some- 
times they were buying it for a Mother's 
Day present, and I'd think about this 
poor mom wondering, “Why have they 
given me this?” The customer would say, 
“Is it a novel?" and Td say, “Well, you 


ed 


don't have to believe what it says,” 
PLAYBOY: The Female Eunuch was your 
first book. Do you enjoy writing? 

GREER: I have to write. It’s a bit like 


shitting. It's quite nic 
do it nicely. You know 
formed piece emerges. But if it’s coming 
in dribs and drabs or not coming at all, 
or being forced out, if you're missing 
the rhythm somewhere, it's no pleasure 
at all. And yet sometimes there's an cnor- 
mous pressure to do it. And not much 
pleasure when it’s finished. 
PLAYBOY: We understand you have an- 
other book in the works. 
GREER: Yes. Im writing a book on the 
female artistic impulse and what hap- 
pens to it. It's probably going to be 
called The Problem of Waste. 
PLAYBOY: What else does the future hold 
for you—and for the women’s liberation 
movement? 
GREER: The movement will simply get 
bigger, that’s all. I don't know when 
things are going to start to happen. The 
astounding thing is that in the space of 
about three years, the movement has got 
so huge. How else do you explain things 
like Kate Millets book becoming a best 
"Пет? It's not а very readable book. It's 
not a book you buy for fun, nor even 
for curiosity, because it’s pretty easy to 
figure out what it’s about. But the buy- 
ing of that book is a positive act of 
support. I think the same goes for The 
Female Eunuch, which 1 don't think is 
ly all that good, either. It's very 
uneven. Admittedly, McGraw-Hill has 
sold it pretty well; but even so, I would 
never have thought it would be a best 
n the U.S. So maybe I'm the 
wrong person to ask about the future, I 
just don't know. 

Jt may be that an enormous disap- 


ly if you 
ice well- 


seller 


pointment is in store for the movement, 
that a lot of people, say, involved in 
the equal-rights-amendment business, all 
that tokenism, are going to be so dis 
gusted by the small difference their con 
siderable efforts have made that there'll 
be ten years or so of confusion. What 
did the suflragetes think when they 
won the vote? They probably thought 
the whole world was going to change. 
Well, it didn't. Revolutionary move- 
ments give in to disappointment and 
bitterness when they discover that Rome 
not even destroyed in а day. I 
expect all that ebb and flow of revolu 
tion. all that waste and confusion, and I 
expect the fragmentation of the wom- 
en's movement, which is becoming a 
serious problem. As it is, its members 
hardly ever provide a united front even 
when one is strategically called for. I 
to get appreciably bet- 


don't expect t 


ter until women have got used to the 
hypocrisies of politics. They've got to 
learn that you just don't wash your dirty 


linen in public. If you disapprove of 
Germaine Greer's actions. for example, 
which quite a few feminists do, you 
don't write to a pig newspaper and put 
her down. because it makes things too 
easy for the pigs. You write to her and 
put her down. Women are going to take 
long time to figure out things like 
that. 

Political education is a dreary process, 
however, and if you try to short-circuit 
it, you betray your whole scene. Because 
once you say, "Oh, well, we'll never get 
these people educated, we'll just tell 
them what to do,” then you spend all 
your time consolidating your own pow- 
er, like Macbeth, who seized it unjustly. 

As for my own future, my life’s work 
is to make the feminist position more 
and more comprehensible to more and 
more people. As I told you, my role is to 
preach to the unconverted, rather than 
sitting about cozily developing the li 
with people who already agree with it. 
Ym much more interested in the truly 
anarchist part of the movement, and 
this involves increasing its grass-roots 
support as much as possible. That in 
cludes people who have been ill educat- 
ed, because I think everybody in our 
society is ill educated in one м 
another. It means exposing myself to the 
worst kinds of prejudice and antagonism 
and doing my best to discredit them. 1 
happen to be better at that than I 


or 


would be at attempting to organize the 
women's movement from inside. I'm just 
trying to make sure there is a women's 


movement, Let somebody else organize 
it. I don't have any talent in that direc- 
tion. But I won't submit to bei 
abused because I don't do it. The wom- 
en who abuse me for not doing it 
should be doing it themselves. So there 


you are. 
a 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


A young man whose desire to reach the summit of success knows no limits. At work or at play, 
he thrives on new challenges, new ways to satisfy his zest for the active life. FACT: PLAYBOY 
reaches almost 60% of all men under 35 who spent $100 or more on ski equipment in the past year 
and 43% of all men under 35 who took a foreign pleasure trip in the past five years. To show these 
men your way to add new zest to their lives, show them in PLAYBOY. (Source: 1971 Simmons.) 


New York » Chicago + Detroit - LosAngeles + SanFrancisco - Atlanta - London » Tokyo 


ficio By JOHN CHEEVER 
water, water, everywhere—but when 
he looked for love, he had to fly to moscow 


) ARTEMIS, 
^ THE HONEST 
WELL DIGGER 


ARTEMIS LOVED the healing sound of rain—the sound of all 
running water brooks, gutters, spouts, falls and taps. In the 
spring he would drive 100 miles to hear the cataract at the 
Wakusha Reservoir. This was not so surpr since he was 
a well driller and water was his profession, his livelihood as 
s his passion. Water, he thought, was at the root of 
zations. He had seen photographs of a city in Umbria 
ad been abandoned when the wells went dry. Cathe- 
, palaces, farmhouses had all been evacuated by drought 
greater power than pestilence, famine or war. Men 
sought water as water sought its level. The pursuit of water 
accounted for epochal migrations. Man was largely water. 
Water was man. Water was love. Water was water. 

To get the facts out of the way: Artemis drilled with an 
old Smith & Mathewson chain-concussion rig that struck 
the planet 60 blows a minute. It made a terrible racket and 
there had been two complaints. One was from a very nervous 
housewife and the other from a homosexual poet who said 
that the concussion was ruining his meter. Artemis rather 
liked the noise. He lived with his widowed mother at the 
edge of town in one of those little conclaves of white houses 
that are distinguished by their displays of the American flag. 
You find them on outlying roads—six or seven small houses 
gathered together for no particular reason. There is no store, 5 


that 


dr: 


PLAYBOY 


86 


no church, nothing central. The lawns on 
which dogs sleep are well trimmed. and 
everything is neat, but every house flies 
its Old Glory. This patriotic zeal cannot 
bc traced back to the fact that these 
people have received an abundance of 


their country's riches. They haven't. 
These are hard-working people who lead 
frugal lives and жопу about money. 


People who have profited splendidly 
from our economy seem to have no such 


pasion for the Stars and Arte- 
mis’ mother, for example—a hard-working 
woman—had a flagpole, five litle flags 


dow box and a seventh 


ging from the porch. 
ather had chosen his name, 

ng that it referred to artesian 
It wasn't until Artemis was 


grown man that he discovered he had 
been named for the chaste goddess of 
the hunt, He didn’t seem to mind and, 
anyhow, everybody called him Art. He 
wore work clothes and in the winter a 
scaman's knitted cap. His manner with 
strangers was rustic and shy and some- 
thing of an affectation, since he read a 
good deal and had an alert and inquis 


tive intelligence. His father had learned 
his wade as an apprentice and had not 
graduated from high school. He regret- 


ted 


not 


having an education and was 
ious that his son should go to 
college. Artemis went to a small col 
lege called Laketon in the north of the 
state and got an engineering degree. He 
was also exposed to literature through 
an unusually inspiring professor named 
Lytle. Physically, there was nothing re- 
markable about Lytle, but he was the 
sort of teacher in whose presence stu- 
dents had for many years felt an inresist- 
ible desire to read books, write themes 
and discuss their most intimate feclings 
bout the history of mankind. Lytle sin- 
gled out Artemis and encour 
Swift, Donne and 


lor 
paged by an incurable fas- 


bly graded A. His ear 


prose was d 
ion for words like cacophony, per 
cussion, ıhrobbingly and thumpingly- 
This may have had something to do 
with his profession. 

Lytle suggested that he neu an cdito- 
rial job on am engineering journal and 
he seriously thought about this, but 
he chose instead to be a well driller. He 
made his decision one Saturday when he 
d his father took their rig to the south 
of the county, where a large housc—an 
estate—had been built. There was a 
swimming pool and seven baths and the 
well produced three gallons а minute. 
Artemis contracted to go down another 
100 feet, but even then the take was 
only six gallons a minute, The enor- 
mous, costly and useless house impressed 
him with the import 
Water, water. (What happened 
end was that the owner demolished s 
upstairs bedrooms to make room for a 


ace of his trade. 
п the 


storage tank, which the local fire depart- 
ment filled twice a week.) 

Artemis knowledge of ecology was 
confined 10 water. Going fishing on the 
fist of April, he found the falls of the 
South Branch foaming with soapsuds. 
Some of this was bound to leach down 
to where he worked. Later in the 
month, he caught a five pound trout in 
the stream at Lakeside, This was а phe- 
nomenal fish for that part of the world 
Xd he stopped to show his catch to the 
game warden and ask him how it should 
be cooked. "Don't bother to cook that 
fish,” said the warden. “J's got enough 
DDT to put you in the hospital. You 
an't eat these fish anymore. The Gov- 
nment sprayed the banks with DDT 
about four y the ыш all 
washed into Artemis had 
once dug a well and found DDT, and 
nother had traces of fuel oil. His sense 
of a declining environment was keen 
and intensely practical. He contracted to 
nd if he 
A polluted environment 
r him both sadness at human 
stupidity and rapaciousness and also а 
hole in his pocket. He had failed only 
twice, but the odds were running against. 
him and ev 


the brook. 


is distrusted 
A few men and two women in 
the county made their living by divi 
the presence of subterranean water with 
forked fruit twigs. The fruit had to have 
a pit. An apple twig. for example, was 
no good. When the fruit twig and the 
diviner's psyche had settled on a site, 
Artemis would be hired to drill a well. 
In his experience, the dowsers’ 

was low and they seldom divined ài 
adequate supply of water, but the fact 
that some magic was involved seemed to 
make them irresistible. In the search for 
water, some people preferred a ma; 
to ап engineer. If magic bested Know! 
edge, how simple everything would be: 
water, water. 

Artemis was the sor of man who 
frequently proposed marriage, but at 30 
he still had no wife. He went around for 
a year or so with the Macklin girl. They 
were lovers, but when he proposed mar- 
riage, she ditched him to marry Jack 
Bascomb becuse he was rich. That's 
what she said. Artemis was melancholy 
for a month or so, and then he bega 
going around with a diyorcee named 
Maria Petroni who lived on Maple Ave- 
nue and was a bank teller. He didn't 
know, but he had the feeling that Maria 
as older than he. His ideas about mar- 
ge were romantic and a little puerile 
and he expected his wife to be a hesh- 
was 
ig мош they 
time together in bed. 
One night or early morning, he woke at 
her side and thought over his life. He 
was 30 and he still had no bride. He 
had been dating Maria for 


a 
aud 


years. Before he moved toward her to 
wake her, he thought of how humorous, 
kind, passionate and yielding she had 
always been. He thought, while he 
stroked her backside, that he loved her. 
Her backside seemed almost too good to 
be truc. The image of a рше, fresh girl 
like the girl on the oleomargarine pack- 
age still lingered in some part of his 
head, but where was she and when 
would she appear? Was he kidding him- 
self? Was he making a mistake to down- 
grade Maria for someone he had never 
seen? When she woke, he asked her to 


E 


1 marry you, darling,” she s 
“Why not? Do you want a younger 
man?" 
“Yes, 
seven, one 
“Oh,” he 
"E must tell you. I've done it. This 
was before I met you. I asked seven of 
the bestlooking men around to come 


ling, but not one, 1 want 
ht alter the other. 


id. 


for dinner. None of them were married. 
Two of them were divorced. 1 cooked 
veal scaloppine. There was a lot to 


drink and then we all got undressed. It 
was what I wanted. When they were 
finished, I didn't feel dirty or depraved 
or shameful. 1 didn’t feel anything bad 
at all. Does that disgust you?" 

"Not really. You're one of the cleanest 
people Ive ever known. Thats the way 
1 think of you." 
Youre crazy, dan 

He got up and dressed and kissed her 
good night, but that was about it. He 
went on sceing her for a while, but her 
period of faithfulness seemed to have 
passed and he guessed that she was 
secing other men. He went on looking 
for a gil as pure and fresh as the girl 
on the oleomargarine package. 

This was in the early fall and he w 
digging a well for an old house on 
Olmstead Road. The first well was run- 

i The people were named Filler 

ig him 530 a foot, 
which the rate at that time. 
He was confident of finding water from 
what he knew of the lay of the land 
When he got the rig going, he settled 
down in the cab of his truck to read a 
book. Mis. Filler came out to the truck 
and asked if he didn't want a cup of 
coffee. He rcfused as politely as he could. 
She wasn't bad looking at all, but he had 
decided, carly in the game, to keep hi 
hands off the housewives. He wanted to 
mary the girl on the oleomagarine 
package. At noon he opened his lunch 
pail and was halfway through a sand. 
wich when Mrs- Filler came back to the 
cab. "I've just cooked a nice hamburger 
for you," she said 

‘Oh, no. thank you. ma'am,” he said. 
“Гус got three sandwiches here.” He 
actually said ma'am and he sometimes 
said shucks, although the book he 

(continued on page 230) 


ng," she said. 


was 


THE PLAYBOY CAR STABLE 


modern living 
By KEN W. PURDY 


TED 


THE GATHERING of a gentleman's stable of motorcars—utility and aesthetics 
the only considerations—calls for an imaginist in good form and an open- 
ended bank account. Still, a list of desirable possessions is entertaining to 
make and may be handy to have, since one never knows when necessity will 
strike: A New Jersey man was recently obliged to accept two $50,000 lottery 
prizes in succession and, not having considered the contingency in advance, 
had to put the stuff into a bank for lack, one must presume, of something 
better to do with it. One should be on guard against this sort of thing. 


Range is the name of the game. Diversity. The ideal, a garageful of ve- 
hicles so selected that no situation will find one other than suitably mounted. 
When there were 500 or 600 automobiles on the world market, the selection 
might have been easier: One could have had a steamer or an electric, for 
example. On the other hand, we are probably at this moment in the golden 
age of the automobile—history is difficult to assay close up—and the crea- 
tion of a stable may be impossible in the future, because it is clear that 
society is gathering itself to insist upon mass public transport for most of the 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARO FEGLEY 


PLAYBOY 


90 


population, with small. uniform automo- 
biles taking up what slack there will be 
left. (Starkly significant in this connection 
is the cancellation of this year’s Frankfurt 
Motor Show on the ground that the 
European motorist is now interested in 
utility, not exotica.) The wifling matter 
of exhaust pollutants is not the problem, 
it's a symptom. The problem is prolifer 
tion. When the United States census h 
250,000,000, the idea of a three-car family 
will be plainly insupportable, ludicrous. 
We already have one mile of road for 
every square mile of land we own; we 
can't pave the whole country. 

‘The rrAYBoy stable, then, for 1972: a 
Wankel, a dune buggy, a gran turismo, 
a deluxe town carriage, an antique and 
the biggest—and_ fastest— 
put upon wheels. 

‘The Wankel-engined car is Toyo Ko- 
gyos Mazda RX-2, its function in the 
line up to serve as urban and short-haul 
country transport without being limited 
10 those uses. 


ever 


The rotary internal-combustion en- 
gine has been called the only all-new 
power plant of our and in its 

t useful form v. although 


on which it's based is a very old 
James Watt knew the principle 
itempt to build an engine on it 
thwarted only by the primitive tech- 
nology of his day. The concept is sim- 
ple, its execution complicated. A rotary 
internal-combustion engine burns spark- 
nited gasoline but not in a cylinder, as 
the reciprocating engine does, and not to 
give up-and-down motion to its pistons. 
rotary engine's pistons—called rotors 
—spin in combustion chambers of con- 
stantly changing form, and its great ad- 
vantage is that its original motion can 
be used directly without ing to be 
conyerted from up and down to round 
па round through the complication of 
crankshaft. 

The only moving parts in a rotary are 
the rotors, а balance weight, a flywheel 
ad a shaft for the little ensemble to 
turn. Compared with the binful of gim- 
reciprocating engine, a 
j . For a given pow- 
smaller 
lighter, and it's practically vibration-free: 


At 100 mph, the Mazda RX 
presence sensation is comparable with a 
Cadillac's. argely trouble-free: The 


magazine Road Test ran a Mazda R-100 
30,000 miles without changing the plugs 
or points nor touching the carbureto 


‘The engine maintains its ume, stays on 
It does, 


the road and out of the shop. 
indeed, have a lot going for it. 

"The German inventor Felix 
ran his version of the rotary engine i 
1956. He and an associate, Ernst Hutz- 
enlaub, had worked with NSU Motor 
enwerke A. G., Neckarsulm, and NSU 
made the first Wankel-cngined automo- 


bile. the Prinz Spider, in 1964. I drove 
one that year, a pleasant little 50-hp 
100-mph semisports type. About 5000 of 
them were put on the road. There were 
stubborn technical difficulties at first— 
notably. heavy oil consumption and ro- 
ing) wear. Both have 
arch. Companies around 
the world built Wankels, with the Japa- 
nese most impressed by its potenti 
They set up a long-term blitz on it; 
Toyo Kogyo has probably passed even 
NSU in reaching for development 
boundaries: Mazda's 1105 model, on sale 
in July 1967, was the first two-rotor 
Wankel. Everyone has come aboard 
now, and General Motors recently paid 
$50,000,000 for rights, floating the rumor 
that it intends, by 1975, to abandon the 
comparatively ungainly reciprocating en- 
gine altogether for passenger cars. Felix 
Wankel may be si to be a successful 
inventor: Having previously conveyed 
60 percent of the rights to Audi-NSU, 
now a Volkswagen subsidiary, Wankel 
Gm.b.H., the parent company, sold the 
remainder to a London conglomerate 
for about $33,000,000. 
Reasonably diligent research 
reason 


for 


g to do with the old 
t bulb. (Owners occ: 
ng asked if the thing is battery 
an.) The RX2 is beguiling: a good 
size for city use, dependable, cheap to 
buy (53041) and to run (20-23 miles 
to the gallon of no- id amusing to 
drive. There is 
blow off most things its size and a 118- 
mph top. Handling is not in the sporis- 
car bracket, bur its predictable and 
adequate for the tasks the car should nor- 
mally be set. Pleasure in using it derives 
from its uncanny smoothness and from 
its satisfying snob value: It’s a rarity. 
after 
yet. The ordi s am 
ble, including air conditioning—a good. 
idea, since the ventless front windows 
е an irritating tumult wound down 
hway speeds. There's one splendid 
refinement, a fivefunction single stalk 
on the steering column: It commands 
the directionals, washer, wipers, head- 
light flasher and dimmer. 

The dune buggy is a phenomenon— 
loathsome or lovely, depending upon 
one's prejudices—out of California, 
spawning ground for most innovative 
wheeled things since World War Two. 
Specifically, the dune buggy can be laid 
at the door of Bruce Meyers. whose 
Meyers Manx established the basic pat 
tern: fat tires, glass body. VW runn 
gear. The Manx was, in the view of 
James T. Crow—an eminence of the 
authoritative journal Road & Track—the 
most imitated design in automotive his- 
tory, and it was also responsible, when 


all, and will be for some little time 
y amenit 


the craze it set off crested, for the theft 
of Volkswagens in such numbers that 
the elves of Wolfsburg were hard put to 
sh jacements Califor- 
nia teenagers have ys been adept 
with pliers and jack handle; there were 
some who could spot a blick VW 
parked in Sausalito and have it storming 
the dunes 36 hours later. 

The dune buggy sired a generation of 
all-terrain and offroad recreational ve- 
hicles, including the snowmobile. They 
have made one thing possible and an- 
ly impossible: They have 
opened the great outdoors to people 
who would never have known anything 
about it had they been restricted to leg 
power and they have almost guaranteed 
that one cannot get far enough into 
the boondocks to escupe the howl of the 
internal-combustion engine 

At the right time and in the right 
place, a dune buggy is a formidable fun 
generator, and running one really can 
be what it seemed to be if you reme 
ber watching Steve McQueen and Faye 
Dunaway in The Thomas Crown Affair. 
‘There are times when only a dune bug- 
gy will do it for you. 

There's a drawback, though, and йз 
age limi The dune buggy is 
great on its own terrain and tolerable as 
an open town runabout, But if one lives 
any distance from dune-buggy country. 
the thing is a bore, because it's geared 
for power to run up the side of a diff, 
fattired for flotation on soft ground and 
open to the crisp fr i 
After 100 miles on a 
terminal nut cases are ready to t 
for а Pogo stick. 

The Meyers Tow'd (the Meyers man- 
tory has recently hee 
and Bruce Meyers no longer takes a 
active part im its operation) is cra 
to negate this unfortunate inbuilt 
acteristic with a gimmick as simple 
and as workable as а paper clip: There's 
а tow bar telescoped into it. Hooked to 
a standard trailer hitch on the back of a 
road car, the bar lifts the Тома front 
end off the ground and away you go. 
The Tow'd is sold as a kit—about 5140 
standard, $550 deluxe—and the pack- 
everything but power and acces- 
For these, a 1955-1972 VW is 
ed (you can use a Corvair engine 
plus a few hours with 
and screwdriver. Well, a few 
If you're one 
nutes to wire 
up a wall plug. if you're an instruction- 
shect lip reader, a few days, maybe. In 
that case, seek out a knowledgeable 
teenager and contract him to bolt your 
Towd together for a fce, a bonus for 
celerity and the privilege of the first ride. 

To fill the gran turismo slot in our 
1972 garage, we are citing the Ferrari 

(continued on page 188) 


m- 


tion. 


reorganized 


u 


wrench 
hours if you 
of those who need 20 m 


article By ROBERT GRAVES “ny rirsr amorous 
adventure?” repeated Lord Godolphin thoughtfully. “Well, 
in our family the tradition never varicd much. There was 
always Miss Crewe, who had inducted my father and prob- 
ably also my younger granduncle, Charles Martello, into 
the mysteries of sex. She had kept her little figure astonish- 
ingly well. That was due to her fruit diet, someone told me. 
In a sense, the tradition was, I agree, somewhat incestuous.” 


“Did Miss Crewe attend to many families?” 

"Not more than a dozen or so, and all in this county. 
Families like ours, Miss Crewe despised the lesser landed 
gentry to which she belonged.” 

“May I ask what was her procedure?” 

“Tt was no secret and, as far as I know, never varied. It 
began with general theory. The next lesson was sexual 
anatomy. The third was amatory (continued on page 246) 


it was world war one and my colonel was distraught that some of his officers were still virgins 


my first amorous adventure 


92 


AME KIDNAPING was reported all around 
the world, of course. 

It took a few days for the full signifi- 
cance of the news to spread from Cuba 
to the United States. to the Left Bank 
and then finally to some small 
good café in Pamplona where the drinks 
е weather, somchow, al- 


But once the meaning of the news 
really hit, people were on the phone, 
Madrid was calling New York, New 
York was shouting south at 


a to 
verify, please verify this crazy thing. 

And then some woman in Venice, 
Italy, with a blurred voice called 


through, saying she was at Harry's Bar 
that very instant and was destroyed, this 
thing that had happened was terrible, a 
cultural heritage was placed in immense 
nd irrevocable danger. . 
Not an hour later, I got a call from a 
baseball pitcher-cum-novelist who had 
been a great friend of Papa’s and who 
now lived in Madrid half the year and 
Nairobi the rest. He was in tears. or 
sounded close to it. 
“Tell me,” he 
around the world, 
What are the facts?" 
Well, the facıs were these: Down in 


said, from 
what 


half: 
happeneı 


n which he used to drink. It is the one 
where they med a special drink for 
him, not the fancy one where he used 
to meet flashy literary lights such as 
K-K-Kenneth Tynan and, er, Tennessee 
W-Williams (as Mr. Tynan would say it). 
No, it is not the Floridita; it is a shirt- 
sleeves place with plain wooden tables, 
sawdust on the floor and a big mirror 
like a diry cloud behind the bar. Papa 
w there when there were too many 
sts around the Floridita who want 
ed to meet Mr. Hemingw And the 
thing that happened there was destined 
to be big news, bigger than the report of 
what he said to Fitzgerald about the 
h. even bigger than the story of his 
swing at Max Eastman on that long-ago 
day in Charlie Scribner’s office. This 
news had to do with an ancient parrot. 
“That senior bird lived in a cage right 


tow 


atop the bar in the Guba Libre, He had 
“kept his cage” in that place for roughly 
29 years, which means that the old par- 
rot had been there almost as long as 
Papa had lived in Cub: 
nd that adds up to this monumental 
All during the time Papa had lived 
ad known the parrot 
and had talked to him and the parrot 
had talked back. As the years passed, 
people said that Hemingway began to 
talk like the parrot and others said no. 
parrot leamed to talk like him! 
a used to line the drinks up on the 
counter and sit near the cage and in- 
volve that bird in the best kind of 
conversation you ever heard, four nights 
running. Bv the end of the second year, 
that parrot knew more about Hem and 
Thomas Wolfe and Sherwood Anderson 
than Gertrude Stein did. In fact, the 
parrot even knew who Gertrude Stein 
was. АП you had to say was "Gertrude 
and the parrot sa 

"Pigeons on the grass alas. 

At other times, pressed. the parrot 
would say, “There was this old man and 
this boy and this boat and this sea and 
this big fish in the sea, . . .” And then it 
would take time out to eat а cracker. 

Wall, this fabled creature, this parrot, 
this odd bird, vanished, cage and all 
from the Cuba Libre late one Sunday 
afternoon, 

And that's why my phone was ring 
itself off the hook. And that’s why о 
of the big magazines got a special State 
Department clearance. and flew me 
down to Cuba to see if I could find so 
much as the cage, anything remaining of 


the bird or anyone resembling a 
naper. They wanted a light and amiable 
arücle, with overtones, as they said. 


as curious. I had 
a strange 


And, very honestly, T 
heard rumors of the bird. I 
kind of way, I was concerned. 

I got off the jet from Mexico City and 
taxied straight across Havana to that 
strange little café-bar. 

1 almost failed to get in the place. As 
I stepped through the door, a dark little 
man jumped up from a chair and cried, 
"No, no! Go away! We are closed 

He ran out (continued on page 


126) 


CONSTRUCTION BY DON BAUM 


wasn’t that a strange 
storchouse for the final masterpiece 
of a great writer —a bird brain? 


fiction 


By RAY BRADBURY 


ae 
DARRO 
WHO 


PAPA 


a dialog between arthur c. clarke and alan watts on 
the conf lictsand affinities of their disparate disciplines 
in man’s quest—outward and inward—for himself 


AT THE INTERFACE: 


TECHNOLOGY AND MUTAM 


s man approaches the three-quarter point of the 20th Century, 

it’s becoming more and more apparent that he has reached a 

watershed. For the first time in history, the growth curves are 

flattening out: His rate of population increase is slackening in 

some areas; his speed of travel on Earth has very nearly reached its lim- 

its; if fusion is harnessed for peaceful purposes in the near future, he will 
have tapped the ultimate energy source for many years to come. 

But progress has been purchased at a price: Accurate books have 
never been kept on the true costs of technology, and these costs are 
now coming to light in the form of a severely damaged environment. In 
addition to his ecological ills, man's institutions are no longer meeting 
his needs: His churches, his schools, his vartous bodies of constituted 
authority are crumbling under the onslaught of future shock. Attempts 
to solve his new problems by applying old solutions haven’t worked; 
the problems are too deep and too pervasive. They affect all social 
levels and classes: The rich and the poor alike suffer from pollution; 
both the gifted and the backward bear the burden of an outmoded 
educational system; and war has yet to be renounced, though the state 
of the art has advanced to the point where it guarantees only losers. 

Our trip from the forest to the precipice has been an incredibly 
short journey, and it's now lime to take stock not only of where we have 
been but of where we are going. A number of ecologists and social 
scientists have pointed out the grim problems awaiting us in the future; 
whether or not we solve them will be determined not alone by what we 
try to do about them but by the very ways in which we think about 
them—and about ourselves. 

This interface between philosophy and technology is where the 
options are; and to examine its areas of conflict, overlap and agree- 
ment, PLAYBOY asked two leading spokesmen for the disciplines involved 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY OON IVAN PUNCHATZ 


—Alan Watts and Arthur C. Clarke—to engage in a dialog on man and 
his world. The field for discussion would encompass not only man’s prob- 
lems and their possible solutions but nothing less than the nature of man 
himself and the role he plays in the universe. Both men readily agreed. 

It would be difficult to find a more knowledgeable authority on 
mysticism than Alan Wilson Watts, probably the leading interpreter of 
Zen Buddhism in the Western world. Born in England, he became 


interested in the Orient at an early age and wrote “The Spirit of Zen” 
when he was 20 years old. He emigrated to the United States in 1938 
and studied at Seabury-Western Theological Seminary in Evanston, 
Illinois, where he was ordained a priest of the Episcopal Church. He 
left the Church six years later—“not because it doesn’t practice what it 
preaches but because it preaches"—and moved to California, where in 
the Sixties he became associated with studies of hallucinogenic drugs 
and their relation to states of meditation, His books include “This Is 
It,” “Nature, Man and Woman" and the recent “Erotic Spirituality, 
Vision of Konarak.” He last appeared in PLAYBOY as a participant in 
our Playboy Panel on “The Drug Revolution” (February 1970). 

Also a native of England, Arthur Charles Clarke lives halfway 
around the world on the lush island of Ceylon, a far cry from the frigid 
wastes of Mars and the scorching deserts of Venus that he often writes 
about. It was Clarke's interest in rockets and space travel as a former 
chairman of the British Interplanetary Society that led him to suggest 
—in 1945—the use of satellites for radio and television communication. 
His first book was “Interplanetary Flight”; his second, “The Exploration 
of Space,” was a Book-of-the-Month Club selection. Famous for his 
flights of fancy as well as fact, he is probably the most successful 
science-fiction writer today. His career in the field was capped by his 
collaboration with Stanley Kubrick on the screenplay of “2001: A 
Space Odyssey,” adapted from his short story “The Sentinel.” His most 
recent fiction," A Meeting with Medusa,” appeared in PLAYBOY last month. 

The dialog was taped in New York's Chelsea Hotel, temporary home 
for Clarke while he worked on a CBS-TV documentary about the sig- 
nificance of space exploration. Watts flew in from California and for 
three days and several nighis, he and Clarke sat as a kind of board of 
inguiry on the subject of man. Their dialog dealt with man’s savage 
antiquity, his troubled present—and his surprising future. Logically 
enough, however, it began with the distant past. 


CLARKE: In discussing man and his problems, it might help if we start 
at the very beginning. In my opinion, one of man’s basic problems dates 
back to prehistoric times: We're essentially hunting animals, and our 
entire complex of skills and abilities has been geared to that for hun- 
dreds of thousands of years. Then, about 10,000 years ago, we switched 
to another track— raising food. Perhaps this was inevitable; we had to go 
through the agricultural phase to build up (continued on page 130) 


rsycriorocists have variously and gloom- 
ily diagnosed our society as neurotic, emo- 
tionally plagued, armored, flattened, 
one-dimensional, contactless, repressed, 
robotic and addicted to game playing 
These are ways of saying that intimacy 
is lacking in human ee eem 
it is the missing link between our ration- 
ality and our emotions, between men 
and women, between love and sex. 
Without a sense of intimacy, interper- 
sonal contact becomes a worrisome job 
of guarding our psychic territory against 
invaders: Any stranger undergoes a 
lengthy interrogation through the bars 
of a high iron gate before he gains 
entrance, and few pass the test. Both 
male supremacy and women’s lib are 
products of this rupture in our con- 
sciousness, which can turn love into an 
infantile dependency trip and sex into a 
tradcand-field event (in which either con- 
testant could be replaced by a copulat- 
ing machine and the partner would 
never notice the difference). 

Intimacy is the venturous, unarmed 
encounter between two equally vulnera- 
ble people. It is so soft that mam 
fear it as a threat to their masculi; 
yet it is incredibly hard in the quantity 
of sheer courage required to risk the pos- 
sibility of a surprise attack with one's 
defenses down. Beyond ideas of softness 
or hardness, intimacy is—psychologists 
are beginning to suspect—a biological 
necessity. Behavioral scientists have d 
covered that without close emotional 
contact, even well-fed babies and ai 
mals can dic—from sensory starvation. 
The parade of neurotic and psychoso- 
matic problems in our adult population 
(and a majority have at least one symp 
tom of major stress, according to a U.S. 
Public Health survey) suggests that 
while lack of intimacy may not kill 
grown men and women as quickly as it 
can kill infanıs, it deprives them of the 
learning experiences needed to mature 
in personality and to cope with emo- 
tional stresses that slowly grind them 
down—death on the installment plan. 

This quiz measures your capacity for 
intimacy—how well you have fared in 


men 


Ld 


qui By GINA ALLEN and 
CLEMENT MARTIN,M.D. 


test your capacity to 
experience the pleasure 
of genuine closeness 


(and what you have learned from) your 
interpersonal relationships from infancy 
through adulthood. In a general way, it 
also measures your sense of security and 
self-acceptance, which gives you the 
courage to expose yourself to the ego 
hazards of intimacy—to risk the embar- 
rassment of proffering love or friendship 
or respect and getting no response. Some 
are blessed with this ability; some ac- 
quire it through experience and matu- 
rity; others, not even comprehending it, 
or too fearful of it, survive behind a 
facade they continually seek to strengthen 
but can never quite make shatterproof. 
The insight this test should provide can 
be useful in two ways. It can alert you to 
weaknesses that may be reducing your 
performance in bed or in business or in 
any other area of life. It can also help 
predict the kind of person with whom 
you are potentially compatible, socially or 
sexually, for this is one area of interper- 
sonal relationships where opposites do 
not necessarily attract. A person of high 
intimacy capacity can discomfort someone 
of low capacity who is fearful to respond. 
The farther the first advances, the farther 
the other retreats. But those of similar 
capacities, whether high or low, will tend 
to make no excessive demands on each 
other and, for that reason, will find them- 
selves capable of an increasingly intimate 
and mutually fulfilling relationship. 

Consider this a bonus: When two 
people take the test and afterward com 
pare their answers, the quiz provides not 
only a comparison of intimacy potentials 
but the chance to know each other better 
— which autom: Шу increases the inti- 
macy of a relationship. 

"Ihe questions can be answered easily. 
If your response is yes or mostly yes, 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


place a plus (+) in the box following 
the question. If your response is no or 
mostly no, place a minus (—) in the 
box. If you honestly can't decide, place 
a zero in the box. But try to enter as few 
zeros as possible. Even if a particular ques- 
tion doesn't apply to you, try to imagine 
yourself in the situation described and 
answer accordingly. Don't look for any 
significance in the number or the fre- 
quency of your plus and minus answers, 
because the test has been set up so that 
they do not mean good and bad. 

At the end of the quiz, each of its 
sections will be discussed in terms of the 
different areas of attitudes and behavior 
and of how the answers provide an 
index to your potential for intimacy. 


1. Do you have more than your share 
of colds? п 
2. Do you believe that emotions have 
very little to do with physical ills? O 
3. Do you often have indigestion? O 
4. Do you frequently worry about your 


health? o 
5. Would a nutritionist be appalled by 
your diet? a 
6. Do you usually watch sports rather 
than participate in them? п 
7. Do you often feel depressed or in a 
bad mood? D 
8. Are you irritable when things go 
wrong? D 
9. Were you happier in the past than 
you are right now? O 


10. Do you believe it possible that a per- 
son's character can be read or his 
future foretold by means of astrol- 
ogy. 1 Ching, tarot cards or some 
other means? D 

11. Do you worry about the future? O 

12. Do you try to hold in your anger as 
long as possible and then sometimes 
explode in a rage? [а] 

18. Do people you care about often 
make you feel jealous? [m] 

14. If your intimate partner were un- 
faithful one time, would you be una- 
ble to forgive and forget? D 

15. Do you have difficulty making im- 
portant decisions? п 

16. Would you abandon a goal rather 99 


PLAYBOY 


100 


25. 


29. 


30. 


Sk, 


32. 


33. 


34. 


36. 


37. 


38. 


39. 


than take risks to reach it? о 


. When you go on a vacation, do you 


take some work along? o 
Do you usually wear clothes that are 
dark or neutral in color? o 
Do you usually do what you feel like 
doing, regardless of sodal pressures 


n 


. Docs a beautiful speaking voice turn 


you on? n 


. Do you always take an interest in 


where you are and what's happening 
around you? 


. Do you find most odors interesting 


rather than offensive? 


[m] 
. Do you enjoy trying new and differ- 


ent foods? n 
. Do you like to touch and be 
touched? 0 
Are you easily amused? a 


. Do you often do things spontane- 
D 


ously or impulsively? 


. Can you sit still through a long 


committee meeting or lecture with- 
out twiddling your thumbs or wrig- 
gling in your chair? oO 


. Can you usually fall asleep and stay 


asleep without the use of sleeping 
pills or tranquilizers? o 
Are you a moderate drinker rather 
than either a heavy drinker or a 
teetotaler? n 
Do you smoke not at all or very 
little? o 
Can you put yourself in another 
person's place and experience his 
emotions? п 
Ате you seriously concerned about 
social problems even when they don’t 
affect you personally? o 
Do you think most people can be 
trusted? 0 
Can you talk to a celebrity or a 
stranger as easily as you talk to your 
neighbor? 


п 
. Do you get along well with sales- 


clerks, waiters, service-station attend- 
ants and cabdrivers? o 
Can you easily discuss scx in mixed 
company without fecling uncomfort- 
able? п 
Can you express appreciation for а 
gift or a favor without feeling un- 
easy? [и] 
When you feel affection for someone, 
can you express it physically as well 


as verbally? o 
Do you sometimes feel that you have 
extrasensory perception? oO 
Do you like yourself? o 


. Do you like others of your own 


sex? [ul 


. Do you enjoy an evening alone? O 
. Do you vary your schedule to avoid 


doing the same things at the same 


times each day? n 
. Is love more important to you than 
money or status? o 


. Do you place a higher premium on 


kindness than on truthfulness? C] 


- Do you 


. Do you think a carefree 


. Do you think it is possible to be too 


rational? n 


. Have you attended or would you 


like to attend 2 scnsitivity or en- 


counter-group session? n 
. Do you discourage friends from 
dropping in unannounced? п 


. Would you feel it a sign of weakness 


to seek help for a sexual problem? Г] 


. Are you upset when a homosexual 


seems attracted to you? o 
ave difficulty communicat- 
ing with someone of the opposite 
sex? 


. Do you believe that men who write 


poetry are less masculine than men 
who drive trucks? n 


. Do most women prefer men with 


well-developed muscles to men with 
well-developed emotions? n 


. Are you generally indifferent to the 


kind of place in which you live? [1 


. Do you consider it a waste of money 


to buy flowers for yourself or for 
others? oO 


. When you see an art object you like, 


do you pass it up if the cost would 
mean cutting back on your food 
budget? n 


. Do you think it pretentious and 


extravagant to have an elegant din- 
ner when alone or with members of 


your immediate family? o 
. Are you often bored? o 
. Do Sundays depress you? о 
. Do you frequently feel nervous? O] 


- Do you dislike the work you do to 


earn a living? 


style would have no delights for 
you? 


63. Do you watch TV selectively rather 

than simply to kill time? [a] 
64. Have you read any good books re- 

cently? a] 
65. Do you often daydream? o 
66. Do you like to fondle pets? o 
67. Do you like many different forms 


70. 


71. 


72. 


73: 


74. 


TER 


76. 
[112 


and styles of art? [в] 


. Do you enjoy watching an attractive 


person of the opposite sex? o 


Can you describe how your date or 


mate looked the last time you went 


out together? п 
Do you find it easy to talk to new 
acquaintances? n 


Do you communicate with others 
through touch as well as through 
words? [a] 
Do you enjoy pleasing members of 
n 


р 
Do you worry more about how you 
present yourself to prospective dates 
than about how you treat them? [1 
Are you afraid that if people knew 
you too well they wouldn't like 
you? Oo 
Do you fall in love at first sight? O 
Do you always fall in love with some- 


78. 


YER 


80. 


Bl. 


94. 


95. 


96. 


97 


100. 


. Should 


‘one who reminds you of your parent 


of the opposite sex? n 
Do you think love is all you pres- 
ently need to be happy? n 


Do you feel a sense of rejection if a 
person you love tries to prescrve 
or her independence? a 
Can you accept your loved one’s 
anger and still believe in his or her 
love? 5 
Can you express your innermost 
thoughts and feelings to the person 
you love? o 


. Do you talk over disagreements with 


your partner rather than silently 
worry about them? fm] 


. Can you easily accept the fact that 


your partner has loved others before 
you and not worry about how you 
compare with them? B 


. Can you accept a partner's disinter- 


est in sex without feeling rejected? I] 
Can you accept occasional sessions of 
unsatisfactory sex without blaming 
yourself or your partner? o 
unmarried adolescents be 
denied contraceptives? С 


. Do you believe that even for adults 


in private, there are some sexual 
acts that should remain illegal? [Г] 


- Do you think that hippie communes 


and Israeli kibbutzim have nothing 
useful to teach the average Ameri- 
can? n 


. Should a couple put up with an 


unhappy marriage for the sake of 
their children? n 


. Do you think that mate swappers 


necessarily have 


riages? 


unhappy mar- 


. Should older men and women be 


content not to have sex? Bn 


contributes to sex crimes? 


. Do you believe that peus 


. Is sexual abstinence beneficial to a 


person's health, strength, wisdom or 
character? n 
Can a truly loving wife or hus- 
band sometimes be sexually unre- 
ceptive? [m] 
Can intercourse during a wor 
menstrual period be as appealing or 
as appropriate as at any other 
time? п 
Should a woman concentrate on her 
own sensual pleasure during in 
course rather than pretend enjoy. 
ment to increase her partners 
pleasure? o 
Can a man's efforts to bring his 
partner to orgasm reduce his own 
pleasure? Oo 
Should fun and sensual pleasure be 
the principal goals in sexual rela- 
tions? O 


an's 


. Is pressure to perform well a com: 


mon cause of sexual incapacity? [1 
Is sexual intercourse for you an un 
inhibited romp rather than a dem- 
onstration of your sexual ability? O 

(continued on page 134) 


tongue-in-cheek remembrances of sundry newsmakers who—in word or deed —made the headlines in 71 


THAT WAS THE YEAR THAT WAS 


humor By JUDITH WAX 


A marriage at the White House 

Isa wedding masterpiece. 

What luck that Trish wed Eddie there 
While Dad still held the lease. 


A wee colleen for Bernadette, 

The lady so spitfirish. 

Though Devlin won't reveal the pa, 
Sure, it's Up the Irish. 


Kissinger sneaked off to Chou, 
The quietest of capers. 
Anything to get away 

From Ellsberg and those papers! 


General Jessel, on “Today,” 

World issues to illumine, 

Heaped herrings (red) upon the Times. 
“Oy vay, get lost,” said Newman. 


Masters-Johnson worked for years 
On problems quite complex. 

But now they've wed each other; 
It should take their minds off sex. 


Some pix appeared of Jackie 
That set off oohs and ahs. 

Are things so bad with Ari 
That he can't afford her bras? 


The eyes of Nixon are upon him, 
Likewise the Demos curse. 

So maybe Connally will do 

A Lindsay in reverse. 


Monsieur Trudeau, he met une femme 
And left the bachelor list. 

It was а fearful blow against 

Le Mouvement Séparatiste. 


Miss “Fridge” Furness resigned her post 
And told what didn't please her: 

“I can't protect consumers when 

My budgel's in the freezer!" 


When Teddy's party took a vote, 
A shocking thing occurred. 

Not only was he Senate-whipped, 
The boys gave him the Byrd. 


ILLUSTRATION BY BILL UTTERBACK 


Georgie Sanders, who emotes 
At times a little hammily, 

Got typecast as the groom (and ex) 
For Zsa Zsa and. her family. 


New Democrat John Lindsay 

Got ready for the fray; 

He'd taken care of old New York— 
Why not the U.S.A? 


Tulip-tripping Tiny Tim 

Is happiest of pappies. 

But now he wears galoshes 

As he tiptoes through the nappies. 


Reagan said your tax should hurt, 
But later did admit 

He beat the bite in Cal. last year. 
(1t didn’t hurt a bit!) 


Frazier pounded on Ali 

And hit him in the face, 

Then Pat Bozell (nee Buckley) 
Tried the same thing on Ti-Grace. 


Spiro's trips abroad are planned 

By G. O. P. promoters. 

His golf balls may zonk heads of state, 
But can't hit U. S. voters. 


Super-Mex Trevino 

A golfdom challenge hurled: 
“Today, I've got three opens: 
Tamale, it’s the world!” 


“They won't get me in drag,” he said. 
But then, before Flip knew it, 

Miss Geraldine was on the scene. 
The Devil made him do it! 


Where have all the drill teams gone? 
What will all the dog acts do? 
Who'd believe on Sunday night 
Ed's a real-l-ly big no-shew? 


All Hollywood recoiled in shock 
When George C. gave the word— 
He said the holy night of nights 
Was Pattonly absurd. 


101 


TAROT: 


article By RAY RUSSELL 


MOON 


lich PRIESTESS 


STRENGTH 


112 


THE 


KILLING 


OFTHE 


EVERGLADES 


THE OLD MAN saw the lizard slip 
out from under a bush in front 
of the drugstore where he had 
gone to test his blood pressure 
and saw its sprawl on the flag- 
stone path beside the sidewalk 
and hunched toward it, propping 
himself with his cane. He raised 
the cane over his head, baring 
his teeth, and jammed it down 
and pinned the lizard to the flag- 
stone, tearing its belly out, and 
it twisted over, its four infant 
ds clutching the air and its 
mouth opening and closing, and 
the old man jerked the cane 
up and jammed it down and 
jammed it up and down until 
he had mashed the lizard into the 
stone. The black tip of his cane 
smeared now, the old man looked 
uneasily around and, breathing 
hard, set the cane to the walk, 
staining the white stone red, and 
lurched away, teeming Florida 


jerking across his narrowed eyes. 

He didn’t understand. 

That the lizard was harmless? 

Yes. 

But he did 
wasn’t harmless. 

A lizard? 

It was a fuse running back into 
the swamp. He put it out. 

One of many fuses, then. 

We put them out whenever we 
can. They mean us no good. 

They mean us no harm. 

They mean us no harm. They 
mean us nothing at all 


understand. It 


"The Everglades, the wilderness 
Everglades that was once the 
wonder of the world, is not 
dying. It is already dead. The 
shell is left, the shell of a wilder- 
ness, and should be saved. We 
save shells. They are symmetrical 
and can be understood. The si- 
lent things that live inside them 


are not symmetrical and cannot 
be understood. They must be 
taken for what they are or 
destroyed, They do not care if 
they are taken or not. They live 
and die in silence. The old 
man raged. The lizard never 
said a word. 

I am not cynical I am not 
wedded to death, though at onc 
time I thought I might be. I do 
not know Florida as well as the 
men and women who live there 
who would save it from itself, but 
I know land and know when it is 
failing. South Florida will be a 
garden or it will be a desert. It 
will never again be a wilderness. 

Amerigo Vespucci named this 
Western continent with a name 
better than his own. In a letter to 
Lorenzo de’ Medici he called it 
a New World. It tore men's eyes 
open. They could not believe 
what they saw. On their maps 


birth and death have always complemented each other an. this wilderness... 


article By RICHARD RHODES 


they shrank it into comprehen- 
sion. Leonardo da Vinci, the most 
visionary of Renaissance men, 
drew the New World as a string 
of islands. Jacques le Moyne, the 
first artist to visit North America, 
drew Florida smaller than Cuba 
and located the Great Lakes in 
Tennessee. 

Men came to the New World 
to plunder. Later they came to 
live. They could choose to move 
through the wilderness and make 
it their own or they could choose 
to push it back before them, 
destroying it as they went. Having 
money and courage but lacking 
the genius that might transform 
them into a new kind of people, 
they chose to push the wilderness 
back. They chose to remain Eu- 
ropean, with European notions 
of land ownership and European 
beliefs in man's authority over 
the natural world, That is why, 
though we think of ourselves to- 
day as American, we do not think 
of ourselves as an American race. 
We are separate from one an- 
other. We are Italian or Polish 
or black or WASP. The only 
people in America who feel they 
belong to the land, and so to one 
another, are the ones we call In- 
dian. They are the people who 
made the wilderness their own. 

You can easily locate the places 
that pass for wilderness in the 
United States. The U. S. Geologi- 
cal Survey has not yet found 


time to record them on its 
most detailed topographic maps, 
the seven-and-a-half-minute series, 
scaled one inch to 2000 feet. Bar- 
rens of western Nebraska, Wyo- 
ming, Utah and Nevada have not 
yet been mapped for the seven- 
and-a-half-minute series. The Ev- 
erglades from Lake Okeechobee 
to Cape Sable has not yet been 
mapped for the series, though a 
jetport almost rose on the edge 
of the Big Cypress swamp, though 
most of the Everglades has been 
leveed and ditched for water stor- 
age, though canals have been cut 
for new towns near the Big Cy- 
press Fakahatchee Strand and 
though acres of Nike missiles 
point toward Cuba from the 
center of the national park. The 
Everglades is still officially a wil- 
derness. But it has already been 
pushed back. It once teerned with 
life, It teems no more. 

"How shall I express myself,” 
traveler William Bartram wrote 
from upper Florida in the 18th 
Century, "to . . . avoid raising sus- 
picions of my veracity? Should I 
say that the river (in this place) 
from shore to shore, and perhaps 
near half a mile above and below 
me, appeared to be one solid 
bank of fish, of various kinds, 
pushing through this narrow pass 
of St. Juans into the little lake, 
on their return down the river, 
and that the alligators were in 
such incredible numbers, and so 


dose together from shore to 
shore, that it would have been 
easy to have walked across on 
their heads, had the animals 
been harmless?" Bartram saw al- 
ligators 20 fect long, with bodies, 
he said, as big as horses. The 
longest recorded in the 20th Cen- 
tury was 13 feet. 
irds, countless millions of 
birds, came to Florida once from 
all reaches of the world, so thick 
in the sky that they darkened the 
sun, so thick in the shallow rook- 
eries that their droppings turned 
the brown water white for miles. 
At the height of Florida’s trade 
in egret plumes, 80 years ago, 
one Jacksonville merchant in one 
year shipped 130,000 egretskins 
to New York. The birds come 
now in shrunken numbers, fewer 
than 50,000 of them a year, and 
many do not stay. Some species 
will never be seen aga 
The first pictures of wilderness 
America to reach Europe were 
Jacques le Moyne’s drawings of 
savage Florida. For a time, Flor- 
ida was the New World to Eu- 
ropean eyes. Bartram's Travels 
fired the imagination of the Eng- 
lish romantic poets, of William 
and Dorothy Wordsworth and of 
Samuel Taylor Coleridge. Cole- 
ridge read Bartram and dreamed 
of building a utopia in Florida. 
Young men in groups of 12 
would sail there and work only 
half a day and discuss philosophy 


...but man has introduced murder and brought an end to a million wild years 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY BILL UTTERBACK 


PLAYBOY 


in the long afternoons. Coleridge never 
saw it, but Bartram's Florida worked its 
way into his opium drcam and came out 
Kubla Khan: 


Where Alph, the sacred river, ran 
Through caverns measureless lo man 
Down to a sunless sea. 


Alph was a Florida spring. But the cav- 
erns proved treacherous. They were cav- 
erns of time and we moved through 
them as if the only lives that concerned 
us were our own, 

We took the land and made it ours. 
“After we had strooken sayle and cast 
anker athwart the River,” wrote an early 
French explorer of Florida, “I deter- 
mined to goe on shore to discover the 
same." Religion strengthened him. He 
was only a little lower than the angels. 
He was lord of the earth. The men who 
planned the Everglades jetport felt the 
same. “We will do our best,” one of 
them wrote, “to meet our responsibil- 
ities and the responsibilities of all men 
to exercise dominion over the land, sea 
and air above us as the higher order of 
man intends.” You can hear the Great 
Chain of Being rattling in there, the old 
medieval hierarchy of stone and plant 
and animal and man and angel and 
God. The preservationists who fought 
the jetport down heard only greed, but 
they ought to have heard an echo of the 
old belief in the sovereignty of man that 
impelled men to discover America and 
justified the white man’s existence here 
for 300 years. The planners who hold 
that belief today cannot understand why 
others do not. They smell subversion. 

“How,” asks a broadside circulating 
these days in south Florida, “can anyone 
legally stop a uscless land from becom- 
ing a community of churches, schools, 
hospitals, universities, playground parks, 
golf courses and beautiful homes where 
thousands of precious children will be 
bom and raiscd to be useful citizens?” 
That the swamps and flood plains are 
not useless, that they collect and store 
and purify all the water south Florida 
will ever have, that the worst thing that 
could happen to the region would be the 
addition of more thousands of precious 
children to its present load are not 
assertions easy to prove. 

“Before this century is done," Peter 
Matthiessen writes in the Sierra Club 
book The Everglades, “there will be an 
evolution in our values and the values 
of human society, not because man has 
become more civilized but because, on a 
blighted earth, he will have no choice. 
This evolution—actually a revolution 
whose violence will depend on the vio- 
lence with which it is met—must aim at 
an order of things that treats man and 
his habitat with respect.” Nowhere in 


16 America is the conflict more directly 


engaged than in south Florida. If its 
primeval wilderness is gone, its eco- 
system is not yet irrevocably damaged. 
Birds still sing and trees still grow. 
There is something left to save, a water 
supply and a way of life. New and 
terrifying problems have not yet dis- 
placed the old. Miami is not yet New 
York, nor Okeechobee Lake Erie. But now 
much time remains for south Florida is 
a question on which few people agree. 

‘The Everglades was once a vast and 
grassy river. It began in the flood and hur- 
ricane spill of Lake Okeechobee and 
flowed south and southwest 100 miles to 
merge with the ocean above Cape Sable 
on the southwestern tip of Florida. Saw 
grass and water and peat muck, a river 
50, 70 miles wide, bound on the east by 
a limestone ridge and on the west by a 
broad and shadowed cypress swamp, it 
looked like a marsh, but the water 
flowed sluggishly down. One foot of 
fall-off in ten months—an inch and a 
little more a month. From new moon to 
new moon in the summer, the land 
might reccive 40 inches of rain and fill 
up like a tipped bowl. Alligators spread 
out then to feed, and deer and the 
panthers that harvested them found ref- 
uge on hammocks, tree islands shaped like 
longboats that interrupted the monoto- 
ny of saw grass. In the summer and 
autumn, hurricanes thrashed the saw 
grass and tore the tops off the royal palms. 
“The hurricanes dropped the last of the 
rains the land would see until summer 
came again. The water crept down the 
land or evaporated in the sun or tran- 
spired through the pores of green plants 
and wees, Disappearing, it concentrated 
the life that swarmed within it, mosquito 
fish and killifish and crawfish and the 
larger predators that lived on them, and 
the birds came to feed in the broth and 
reproduce. The water level dropped lower 
and lower and alligators dug out holes, 
tearing the grass and the peat away with 
their tails, making room not only for 
themselves but also for a seed crop of 
fish and turtles and frogs that would 
grow to populate the land when the 
next rains е. The first thunderstorms. 
of late winter brought fire that burned 
away the old cover of saw grass. On the 
higher land the fire destroyed brush and 
the shoots of hardwoods but left behind 
the corky, fire-resistant pines. 

When the water that flooded Okeecho- 
bee reached the mangrove estuaries that 
lined the coast, it mixed with sea water 
stirred by the tides, The brackish solu- 
tion that resulted from the mixing was 
a thousand times more fertile than the sea 
itself, haven for adolescent pink shrimps 
whose shells gave the roseate spoonbill its 
color, haven for young fish that men 
would later hook for sport and net for 
food. Crowds of crocodiles swarmed in the 
deltas of mangrove rivers, the only place 


in North America they were ever found. 
“The mangrove forest itself was one of the 
largest in the world, trees that reclaimed 
the land from the sea, trees denser on 
their islands and peninsulas than any 
rain jungle. 

Aboriginal Indians lived on the man- 
grove coast and hunted the Everglades, 
men who came down Irom the continen- 
tal wilderness and exchanged their buck- 
skins for breechclouts of woven palm 
engorged in back with the tails of rac- 
coons, women who bared their brown 
breasts and hung their bellies and flanks 
with Spanish moss like tropical growths 
of pubic hair. They piled up mounds of 
feasted shells that later whole farms 
would occupy, roared out to slaughter 
the fat manatee, dug coontie root and 
learned to wash it free of its alkaloid 
and pound it into white flour, harvested 
the land and the ocean and threw the 
waste over their shoulders and moved 
on. In other mounds they piled up their 
dead without ceremony, until a dream of 
death came down the peninsula from 
the interior of America, and then they 
saw through to the other side and began 
to leave tokens in the graves of those of 
their blood who would pass over. The 
idca of death brought an idea of life 
and they flowered out in decoration, 
scratched patterns on their pots, carved 
wooden deer heads with knives made 
from the teeth of sharks, pushed 
smoothed knucklebones through their car 
lobes, took scalps and arms and legs from 
their enemies. And these, the Calusa 
and Tequesta, greeted the Spanish when 
they arrived. Greeted the Spanish with 
poisoned arrows and night hatchetings, 
but within 100 years most of them were 
gone, killed by new diseases or shipped 
off to slavery in Cuban sugar fields. 

"The Everglades was not fit to live on, 
not fit to farm. White men left it alone 
while they tackled the Northern wilder- 
ness. They pushed all the way to Oregon 
before they began to look seriously at 
the young peninsula that reached far- 
ther south than any other land in the 
United States. In the late 19th Century, 
sporadic efforts at drainage began. A 
muck dike went up along the lower rim 
of Lake Okeechobee to stop the spill of 
water and farmers moved in with cattle 
and sugar canc. Where the Everglades 
peat was exposed to the sun it began to 
oxidize, crumbling from fertile muck 
into gray silicabrightened ash that fed 
nothing. It is still oxidizing today and 
will be gone, the work of 5000 years, in 
a few decades. America's winter vegeta- 
ble garden, Florida people call it. 

The Okeechobee dike held the lake 
water back, but it was no match for 
hurricanes. One hit the lake in 1926 and 
drove the shallow water through the 
dike and killed 500 people determined 

(continued on page 154) 


stress 
exercises 


oral 
sex 


SEXOMETRICS 


rapture without rupture: exercises to tone up, 
tune in and possibly tear down the body sexual 


humor By BOB POST our attention 
has recently been drawn to a number of 
books offering exercises to improve the 
physical efficiency of sex pariners. Laudable 
їп their intent, sternly sober in their style 
such books concentrate on the more athletic 
aspects of what used to be called Doing 
What Comes Naturally. Grimly accusing 
civilized man of being “a race of sex crip- 
ples.’ one such book offers, by way of 
remedy, chapters headed "The Vitally Im- 


MALE 


Male prepares for muscular stress 
situations by lifting rear ends of 
automobiles, progressing from Volks- 
wagen to '67 Cougar to '56 DeSoto station 
wagon. No substitutions allowed 


Male pushes bowling ball three feet up 
inclined plane employing tip of tongue. 
No fair using chin. nose or nonleague ball. 


portant Pelvic Thrust,” "More Sex Enjoy- 
ment with the Gluteal Squeeze" and a lot 
of other data in that same acrobatic vein. 
Overwhelmed by these earnest and some- 
what daunting manuals. we have devised 
our own set of deliberately difficult sex 
exercises, calling upon many littleused 
muscles and organs-chiefly the Tongue-in- 
Cheek. Warning The Surgeon General has 
determined tha! presexual . activity—this 
kind. anyway—is dangerous to your health, 


FEMALE 


Female bounces up and down on 
trampoline while holding 100-pound bag 
of cement, preferably dry. If cement is 
unavailable, then 100-pound bag 

of anything, wet or dry. 


Female peels overripe banana with teeth 
while mouth is full of hot chestnuts 
(alternate with ice cubes). Keep smiling! 


FEMALE 


dexterity 


Male dials direct to ex-wife, the hard way. Female turns shower on and off, the hard 
Ex-wife shouid preterably live out of way. Adjusts water temperature to hot 
state or even out of country. and cold and back again, also the hard 
Push-button phones not permitted! way. In fact, do everything the hard way. 


concentration 


Male reviews longest baseball game in Female caresses miniature cocktail 
history or mentally hums entire sausage while mentally envisioning 
score of Parsifal while standing waist-deep stimulating variety of phallic symbols. 
in large caldron of lukewarm minestrone. Prizes awarded for aptness of thought. 


endurance 


Male takes long bus ride over bumpy road, Female takes long cross-country 
wearing woolen underwear and thinking bicycle ride over bumpy road, without 
erotic thoughts, Obscene thoughts bicycle seat. Erotic thoughts not 


permissible if erotic thoughts unavailable. compulsory but almost unavoidable. 


MALE /FEMALE 


foreplay 


Male and female, sitting in separate 
rows in movie theater, refine foreplay 
technique by stimulating remote 
members of audience. 


exercise 
with partner 


Male and female. strapped back to back to greased 
telephone pole, try to make love while wearing 
roller skates. Proper precautions must be taken to 
guard against pregnancy! 


consummation 


Male and female, now thoroughly indoctrinated 
into the techniques of love, are fully equipped, 
at last, to plunge ahead, free of fear and inhibition, 
into the act of writing their own sex-exercise manuals. 


ELECTRONIC JOURNALISM: By JOHN CHANCELLOR 


"MY FELLOW AMERICANS, tonight I want to talk with. 
you about a subject that is both painful and impor- 
tant. We live in a time when many of our basic 
institutions are changing and often in directions 
we don't . We have seen this in our schools. We 
have seen it in the courts. We have seen it even in 
some churches. And, my friends, we see it perhaps 
most vividly of all in the press and on television. 

"We have been engaged in a long and dreadful 
conflict in Southeast Asia, a conflict made all the 
more protracted and all the more difficult because 
many of our citizens at home have felt they could not 
Support the war. One must ask why. Why were the 
American people, who were steadfast in World War 
"Two and resolute during the Korean War, so divided 
on Vietnam? Perhaps it was because they were told 
only the negative side of that story, the destructive side, 
while the courage of our fighting men and the nobility 
of our goals were ignored. 

“My friends, the facts were twisted and the whole 
story not told, and the blood is on the hands of the 
twisters—in the press and on television. . . .” 

Who said that? Nobody—yet. But a growing num- 
ber of those who report the news are becoming aware 
that someone, either a Democrat or a Republican, may 
say something like it in 1972. 

A Johnson Ad istration official has said that if 
there had been television news cameras at the Anzio 
beachhead during World War Two, the public would 
have withdrawn its support of the war. Richard Nixon 
has said that he will be satisfied as long as he gets the 
chance to present himself directly to the American 
people. And any stump speaker of either party will 
tell you that knocking the papers and the commentators 
always gets a good hand these days. 

The controversial CBS News program The Selling 
of the Pentagon didn't help. Some of the editing in 
that show came dangerously close to the ethical line, 
in my view, and the uproar that followed in the 
Congress made matters worse. CBS compounded the 
problem by issuing an almost theologically complicat- 
ed directive to its news staff on how to edit film—a 
directive that made the network look guilty as 
charged. CBS was courageous in its refusal to turn 
over private papers on the program to a Congression- 
al panel; but its victory in that fight left a lot of 
people in Congress more hostile to television news than 
they had been before. 

The publication of the 


(continued on page 216) 


PRINT JOURNALISM: By HARRISON SALISBURY 


WE ALL HAVE our Pulitzers. I mean, Scotty Reston has 
his two, Abe Rosenthal has his and I have mine. The 
New York Times has won more than any other paper, 
and The Washington Post has its colleaion. So we 
are the good guys, the ones with the credentials, certi- 
fied public and professional, the ones who do more and 
better and oftener than anyone else. The recognized 
champs. And Agnew and Mitchell and Nixon himself 
and all their cohorts—they're the bad guys, the ones 
who want to vanquish the white knights, the inheritors 
and continuators of the tradition of Milton and Voltaire 
and Tom Paine and all the others. 

You listen to Agnew putting the press down, telling 
the editors and writers where to head in; you see 
Mitchell gang-busting with his lawmen (the subpoe- 
nas to Earl Caldwell, the injunctions against the Times 
and the Post, the grand jury on Ellsberg and Neil 
Sheehan and his wife, Susan); you remember the Presi- 
dent's dark and angry ranting ("You won't have Nixon 
to kick around anymore . . ."). They have to be bad guys. 
Doesn't the case of the Pentagon papers prove it? 
The Times challenging everyone, publishing the truth 
because “the people have a right to know"; the Post 
picking up the torch when Mitchell silenced the Times 
with a restraining order; The Boston Globe picking 
up when the Post was silenced; then the Chicago Sun- 
Times, the Knight papers, The Christian Science 
Monitor. We have to be the good guys. Right? 

I wish it were so. I really do. But it’s not a case of 
black and white, right and wrong, open and shut. It's 
been a long time since the press was a white knight in 
this country; and though there is a lot of wind in 
Agnew, there is some bitter truth as well. There is a case 
to be made. And that is why, amid the hoopla and self- 
congratulation over the Pentagon papers and the suc- 
cessful—if limited—victory over the Government, the 
press has been doing more soul-searching, more deep 
analysis than it’s done in a long, long time. Not all the 
conclusions are easy to sleep with. 

But first let's level about the present Administra- 
tion and its role in all this. Is it true that Mr. Nixon 
and his aides—chiefly Agnew in charge of agitprop 
and Mitchell in charge of what we might call the 
US.A. K.G.B.—are trying to fetter the news media? 
Are these men, in the pattern of Stalin, out to destroy 
the free press? Well, neither Nixon nor Mitchell is ex- 
actly what you would call permissive. Nixon has long 
felt that the press was something less than enthusiastic 
about him, and who am I (continued on page 122) 


two commentators assess the attacks on the press and find it guilty—but not as charged 


DESIGNED GY TOM STAEBLER PHOTOGRAPHED BY DON AZUMA 


121 


PLAYBOY 


122 


to say his feelings have not been justi- 
fied? Mr. Mitchell is a great law-and- 
order man, by his own rather self-serving 
definition. And he sees the world in rather 
apocalyptic terms: The United States, if 
Mrs. Mitchell accurately reflects her hus- 
band’s views—and there is no reason to 
think she doesn't—stands on the verge 
of Bolshevik revolution, and media like 
The New York Times, The Washington 
Post, CBS and others seem to the Attor- 
ney General to echo the shout of the 
rabble a bit to the left of Lenin's Iskra. 
In this moment of peril, he doesn’t 
hesitate to defend the republic with 
such methods as come to hand, whether 
they be preventive arrest, prior restraint of 
а newspaper's right to publish, wire tap- 
ping, no-knock entry and arrest, the use 
of subpoena powers to compel reporters 
to testify about their stories, to turn 
over their notebooks and picture files, 
threats of investigation by the FBI or 
Federal grand juries, secret searches and 
seizures and other forms of intimidation. 

Given Mr. Mitchell's premise—a grave 
and unprecedented danger to the re- 
public—a case might possibly be made 
for suspension of the right of habeas 
corpus, the institution of a Napoleonic 
system of arrest, detention and trial and 
the repeal of the Bill of Rights. The 
fact that by so doing we would ourselves 
be destroying the republic (“Sorry, sir, 
in order to save the city we were com- 
pelled to destroy it") is a factor that 
might have to be taken into considera- 
tion. But few would agree with Mitchell's 
doomsday premise. Not even, in all prob- 
ability, the President himself. 

Let's put the Administration brief in 
another context—more understandable, 
more defensible. Every President, begin- 
g with George Washington, has had 
an uncomfortable relationship with the 
press. John Adams got Congress to pass 
the Alien and Sedition Ads to give 
himself a club with which to bludgeon 
wnruly editors. (He quickly got his 
comeuppance, and the laws that author- 
ized prior restraint of publication were 
thrown out) Lincoln, in the darkest 
days of the Civil War, suppressed some 
papers and arrested some editors, but he 
to cope with a press that makes 
Nixon's look pantywaist. F. D. R. cozened 
reporters as did по one else, but he hated 
many of them and his worst feuds were 
with publishers, He used every instrument 
in a versatile repertoire against them, not 
excluding the FBI and Federal grand 
juries (against his archenemy, the Chicago 
Tribune). Harry Truman openly de- 
spised the press. Eisenhower rated re- 
porters slightly below buck privates, and 
that is low. And L.B.]. attempted to 
manipulate reporters, their editors and 
publishers as he had long manipulated 
the Senate. When his stratagems failed, 


he wied bullying and finally cut himself 
off from almost everyone but William S. 
White. 

Here is one modern President's view 
of the role of the press: 


In times of clear and present dan- 
ger. the courts have held that even 
the privileged rights of the First 
Amendment must yield to the pub- 
lies need for national security. 

Today no war has been dedared 
—and however fierce the struggle 
may be, it may never be declared in 
the traditional fashion. Our way of 
life is under attack. . . . 

... This nation’s foes have open- 
ly boasted of acquiring through 
our newspapers information they 
would otherwise hire agents to ас 
quire through theft, bribery or espio- 
паре... 

I am asking the members of the 
newspaper profession and the in- 
dustry in this country to re-examine 
their own responsibilities—to con- 
sider the degree and nature of the 
present danger—and to heed the 
duty of selfrestraint which that 
danger imposes upon all of us. 

Every newspaper now asks itself 
with respect to every story: “Is it 
news?” АШ I suggest is that you add 
the question: “Ts the interest 
of the national security?” 


Who spoke these words? Roosevelt on 
the eve of World War Two? Truman 
during the Cold War? Johnson as Viet- 
nam escalated? Nixon when the Penta- 
gon papers were published? No. Those 
are the words of that idol of the press, 
the late John F. Kennedy, in the anger 
and chagrin of the Bay of Pigs fiasco. It 
shocks some of us to be reminded that 
even Kennedy was cut of the same cloth 
as Nixon so far as the press is con- 
cerned, It is well known to those of us 
in the press that Kennedy didn't hesi 
tate at wire pulling and arm twisting, 
even blackmail, in his dealings with the 
press. Perhaps Kennedy did it with a 
little more style. That is how we remem- 
ber it. But doesn’t our memory play us 
tricks? 
ke the Bay of Pigs. After the essen- 
tial facts had been dribbled out in 
other newspapers, including those of Mi- 
ami, for several months, The New York 
Times finally got onto what was happen- 
ing and a story detailing the plans and 
preparations was prepared for publica- 
tion on the eve of the abortive inter- 
vention in April 1061. A short time 
before deadline, after consultations among 
the publisher, the managing editor and the 
Washington bureau chief, the story was 
altered: toned down from a four-column 
pageone head to a singlecolumn head 
less prominently displayed, and a certain 
amount of fuzz was introduced. particu- 


larly so far as jump-off time was con- 
cerned. This was done by the Times on 
its own, for reasons of what it considered 
national security. The fact that the 
Times's information had all been pul- 
lished elsewhere, that Castro and his 
Cubans had to know what was happening 
if they knew how to read simple declara- 
tive sentences, that the only persons who 
didn’t know what was happening were 
ordinary Americans—none of this de- 
terred the Times from dampening. a story 
that could have saved the United States 
from a diplomatic, military and psycho- 
logical fiasco of significant proportions. A 
year later, Kennedy himself told the late 
publisher Orvil Dryfoos, “I wish you had 
run everything on Cuba.” 

He didn't feel that way at the time. 
Kennedy didn’t swear out an injunction 
to halt the Times's Bay of Pigs story, as 
Nixon did on the Pentagon papers; but 
that wasn't because he didn't violently ob- 
ject to the publication even as watered 
down by the editors. He simply didn't 
have a chance to halt the story; it was 
in print before anything could be done. 

Im not going to belabor the point of 
Presidents and the press, All 1 want to 
do is to put the two into context. They 
have an adversary relationship; always 
have had and always will. How a Presi- 
dent deals with this problem is a matter 
of style. They all tackle it and they all 
blunder, So what Nixon, Mitchell and 
Agnew are up to is the same old game. 
It’s up to the press to fend off Presidential 
pressure. We are big boys; at least I keep 
hoping we are. If we can't handle our- 
selves up against a Government crunch, 
maybe there’s something wrong with us. 
Maybe we've gotten a little sissy over the 
years. 

I said earlier that Nixon, Mitchell 
and Agnew are onto something about 
the press, whether or not they under 
stand exactly what it is. The fact is that 
the press isn’t in good shape around this 
country. We talk a lot about the crisis 
in confidence, about the challenge to 
utions, and they're very 
real. Go around the country a bit and 
listen to the people talk, Do they believe 
the Government? You know they don't. 
They don't believe Nixon and they didn't 
believe Johnson. But do they believe the 
media? No, indeed, And that, I hate to 
admit, goes for The New York Times as 
well as for the local Bugle. It goes for 
Walter Cronkite, David Bri Time 
magazine and the regional radio station. 
‘Almost no institution in the country, from 
the church to the barbershop, has escaped 
the wave of skepti . 

It would be very convenient—and it 
would fit the devil theory of history—if 
we could say that all this has come 
about courtesy of Nixon and Agnew. 
But that is hogwash. No doubt Agnew 

(continued on page 254) 


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126 


THE PARO (continued from page 92) 


to jiggle the lock on the door, showing 
that he really meant to shut the place 
down, All the tables were empty and 
there was no one around. He had prob- 
ably just been airing out the bar when I 
arrived, 

"I've come about the parrot,” I said. 

“No, no,” he cried, his eyes looking 
wet. "I won't talk. It’s too much. If I 
were not Catholic, I would kill myself. 
Poor Pa Poor El Córdoba!” 

"El Córdoba?" І murmured. 

“That,” he said fiercely, “was the par- 
rots name!” 

“Yes,” I said, recovering quickly. “El 
Cordoba. I've come to rescue him. 

"That made him stop and blink, Shad- 
ows and then sunlight went over his face 
and then shadows again. “Impossible! 
Could you? No, no. How could any- 
onc!? Who arc you?" 

"A fricnd to Papa and the bird," I 
said quickly. "And the more time we 
talk, the farther away goes the criminal. 
You want EI Cérdoba back tonight? Pour 
us several of Papa's good drinks and 
talk." 

My bluntness worked. Not two m 
utes later, we were drinking Papa's spe- 
l seated at the bar near the empty 
place where the cage used to sit. The 
fide man, whose name was Antonio, 
kept wiping that empty place and then 
wiping his eyes with the bar rag. As I 
finished the first drink and started on 
the second, I said: 

“This is no ordinary kidnaping.” 

"You're telling me!" cried Antonio. 
"People came from all over the world to 
see that parrot, to talk to El Córdoba, to 
hear him, ah, God, speak with the voice 
of Papa. May his abductors sink and 
burn in hell, yes, hell.” 

"They will" I said. "Whom do you 
suspect?" 

"Everyone. No one.” 

“The kidnaper,” I said, eyes shut for a 
moment, savoring the drink, “had to be 
educated, a book reader, I mean, that's 
obvious, isn’t it? Anyone like that 
around the last few days?” 

“Educated. No education. Sefior, there 
have always been scrangers the last ten, 
the last twenty years, always asking for 
Papa. When Papa was here, they met 
him. With Papa gone, they met El Cór- 
doba, the great one. So it was always 
strangers and strangers.” 

“But think, Antonio," I said, touching 
his trembling elbow. “Not only educat- 
ed, a reader, but someone in the last few 
days who was—how shall I put it?—odd, 
Strange. Someone so peculiar, muy ec- 
céntrico, that you remember him above 
all others. Someone who——” 

“¡Madre de Dios!” cried Antonio, 
leaping up. His eyes stared off into 
memory. He seized his head as if it had 


just exploded. "Thank you, señor. Si, 
si! What a creature! In the name of 
Christ, there was such a one yesterday! 
He was very small. And he spoke like 
this: very high—eecee. Like a muchacha 
in a school play, ch? Like a canary 
swallowed by a witch! And he wore a 
blue-velvet suit with a big yellow tie.” 

es, yes!” 1 had leaped up now and 
was almost yelling. "Go оп!” 

“And he had a small very round face, 
señor, and his hair was yellow and cut 
across the brow like this—zitt! And 
mouth small, very pink, like candy, yes? 
He—he was like, yes, uno muñeco, of the 
kind one wins at carnivals.” 

"Kewpie dolls!” 

“¡Sil At Coney Island, yes, when I 
was a child, Kewpie dolls! And he was so 
high, you sce? To my elbow. Not a midget, 
no—but—and how old? Blood of Christ, 
who can say? No lines in his face, but— 
thirty, forty, fifty. And on his feet he was 
wearing" 

“Green bootees!” 1 cried. 


he blinked, stunned. “But how 
did you know?” 

Т exploded, “Shelley Capon!” 

“That is the namel And his friends 
with him, señor, all laughing—no, gig- 
gling. Like the nuns who play basketball 
in the late afternoons near the church. 
Oh, sefior, do you think that they, that 
> 

“I don't think, Antonio, I know. Shel- 
ley Capon, of all the writers in the 
world, hated Papa. Of course he would 
snatch EI Cordoba. Why, wasn’t there a 
rumor once that the bird had memo- 
rized Papa's last, greatest and as-yet-not- 
put-down-on-paper novel?” 

“There was such a rumor, señor. But I 
do not write books, I tend bar. I bring 
crackers to the bird. I——'" 

"You bring me the phone, Antonio, 
please." 

"You know where the bird señor?” 
“J have the hunch beyond intuition, 
the big one. Gracias.” I dialed the Ha- 
bana Libre, tlie biggest hotel in town. 

“Shelley Capon, please: 

The phone buzzed and clicked. 

Half a million miles away, a midget 
boy Martian lifted the receiver and 
played the flute and then the bell 
chimes with his voice: “Capon her 

"Damned if you aren't!" I said. And 
got up and ran out of the Cuba Libre bar. 

Racing back to Havana by taxi, I 
thought of Shelley as I'd seen him before. 
Surrounded by a storm of friends, living 
out of suitcases, ladling soup from other 
peoples plates, borrowing money from 
billfolds seized from your pockets right 
in front of you, counting the lettuce 


leaves with relish, leaving rabbit pellets 
оп your rug, gone. Dear Shelley Capon. 

Ten minutes later, my taxi with no 
brakes dropped me running and spun on 
to some ultimate disaster beyond town. 

Still running, I made the lobby, 
paused for information, hurried upstairs 
and stopped short before Shelley's door. 
It pulsed in spasms like a bad heart. I 
put my ear to the door. The wild calls 
and cries from imside might have come 
from a flock of birds, feather-stripped in 
a hurricane. I felt the door. Now it 
seemed to tremble like a vast laundro- 
mat that had swallowed and was churn- 
ing an acid-rock group and a lot of very 
dirty linen. Listening, my underwear be- 
gan to crawl on my legs. 

I knocked. No answer. I touched the 
door. It drifted open. I stepped in upon 
a scene much too dreadful for Bosch to 
have painted. 

Around the pigpen g room were 
strewn various lifesize dolls, eyes half 
cracked open, cigarettes smoking in 
burned, limp fingers, empty Scotch glasses 
in hands, and all the while the radio 
belted them with concussions of music 
broadcast from some Stateside asylum. 
The place was sheer carnage. Not ten 
seconds ago, I felt, a large dirty locomo- 
tive must have plunged through here. f 
victims had been hurled in all directions 
and now lay upside down in various parts 
of the room, moaning for first aid. 

In the midst of this hell, seated crect 
and proper, well dresed in velveteen 
jerkin, persimmon bow tie and bottle 
Breen bootees, was, of course, Shelley 
Capon. Who with no surprise at all 
waved a drink at me and cried: 

“I knew that was you on the phone. 
І am absolutely telepathic! Welcome, 
Raimundo!” 

He always called me Raimundo. Ray 
was plain bread and butter. Raimundo 
made me a don with a breeding farm full 
of bulls. I let it be Raimundo. 

"Raimundo, sit down! Мо... 
yourself into an interesting position. 

“Sorry,” I said in my best Dashiell 
Hammett manner, sharpening my chin 
and steeling my eyes. "No time. 

I began to walk around the room 
among his friends Fester and Soft and 
Ripply and Mild Innocuous and some 
actor I remembered who, when asked 
how he would do a part in a film, had 
said, “I'll play it like a doc.” 

I shut off the radio. That made a lot 
of people in the room stir. I yanked the 
radio's roots out of the wall. Some people 
sat up. I raised a window. I threw the 
radio out. They all screamed as if I had 
thrown their mothers down an elevator 
shaft. 

The radio made a satisfying sound 
on the cement sidewalk below. I turned, 
with a beatific smile on my face. A 
number of people were on their fect, 
swaying toward me with faint menace. I 


fling 


“Being a voluptuar is never having to say you're sorry." 


127 


PLAYBOY 


128 


pulled a $20 bill out of my pocket, 
handed it to someone without looking 
at him and said, “Go buy a new one.” 
He ran out the door slowly. The door 
slammed. I heard him fall down the 
stairs as if he were alter his morning 
shot in the arm. 

“All right, Shelley," I said, “where is 
i” 

“Where is what, dear boy?” he said, 
cyes wide with innocence. 

“You know what I mean.” I stared at 
the drink in his tiny hand. 

Which was a Papa drink, the Cuba 
Libres very own special blend of pa 
paya, lime, lemon and rum. As if to 
destroy evidence, he drank it down 
quickly. 

I walked over to three doors in a wall 
and touched one. 

“That's a closet, dear boy." J put my 
hand on the second door. 

“Don’t go in. You'll be sorry what you 
see.” I didn't go in. 

I put my hand on the third door. 
“Oh, dear, well, go ahead,” said Shelley 
petulandy. I opened the door 

Beyond it was a small anteroom with 
a mere cot and a table near the window. 

On the table sat a bird cage with a 
shawl over it. Under the shawl 1 could 
hear the rustle of feathers and the scrape 
of a beak on the wires. 

Shelley Capon came to stand small 
beside me, looking in at the cage, a fresh 
drink in his lite fingers. 

“What a shame you didn't arrive at 
seven tonight,” he said. 

“Why seven?" 

“Why, then, Raimundo, we would have 
just finished our curried fowl stuffed with 
wild rice. I wonder, is there much white 
meat, or any at all, under a parrot's 
feathers?” 

"You wouldn't!?" I cried. 

I stared at him. 

“You would," I answered myself. 

1 stood for a moment longer at the door. 
Then, slowly, I walked across the small 
room and stopped by the cage with the 
shawl over it. I saw a single word em- 
broidered across the top of the shawl: 
MOTHER. 

1 glanced at Shelley. He shrugged and 
looked shyly at his boot tips. I took hold 
of the shawl. Shelley said, “No. Before 
you lift it . . . ask something.” 

"Like what?” 

“DiMaggio. Ask DiMaggio.” 

A small ten-watt bulb clicked on in 
my head. I nodded. I leaned near the 
hidden cage and whispered: “DiMaggio. 
1939." 

There was a sort of animal-computer 
pause. Beneath the word MoTHER some 
feathers stirred, a beak tapped the cage 
bars. Then a tiny voice s 

"Home runs, thirty Batting aver 
age, 381.” 

Т was stunned. But then I whispered: 
“Babe Ruth. 1927." 


Again the pause, the feathers, the beak 
and: “Home runs, sixty. Batting average, 
.356. Awk.” 

“My God,” I said. 

Ay God," echoed Shelley Capon. 
That's the parrot who met Papa, all 
right." 

“That's who it is.” 

And I lifted the shawl. 

I don't know what I expected to find 
underneath the embroidery. Perhaps a 
miniature hunter in boots, bush jacket 
and wide-brimmed hat. Perhaps a small, 
trim fisherman with a beard and turtle- 
neck sweater perched there on a wooden 
slat. Something tiny, something literary, 
something human, something fantastic, 
but not really a parrot. 

But that’s all there was. 

And not a very handsome parrot, ei- 
ther. It looked as if it had been up all 
night for years; one of those disreputa- 
ble birds that never preen their feathers 
nor shine their beak. It was a kind of 
rusty green and black with a dull-amber 
snout and rings under its eyes as if it 
were a secret drinker. You might see it 
half flying, half hopping out of café-bars 
at three in the morning. It was the bum 
of the parrot world. 

Shelley Capon read my mind. “The 
effect is better,” he said, “with the shawl 
over the cage." 

1 put the shawl back over the bars. 

І was thinking very fast. Then 1 
thought very slowly. I bent and whis- 
pered by the cage: 

"Norman Mailer." 

"Couldn't remember the alphabet," 
said the voice beneath the shawl. 

"Gertrude Stein," I said. 

“Suffered from undescended testicles,” 
said the voice. 

“My God,” I gasped. 

I stepped back. I stared at the covered 
cage. I blinked at Shelley Capon. 

"Do you really know what you have 
here, Сарот?" 

"A gold mine, dear Raimundol" he 
crowed. 

“A mint!” I corrected. 

“Endless opportunities for blackmail!” 

“Causes for murder!” I added. 

“Think Shelley snorted into his 
drink. “Think what Mailer's publishers 
alone would pay to shut this bird up!” 

I spoke to the cage: 

“F. Scott Fitzgerald. 

Silence, 


said Shelley. 

said the voice inside the cage. 

left jab but couldn't follow 

through. Nice contender, but. 
“Faulkner,” I s 

ing average fair, strictly a singles 


“Steinbeck!” 
“Finished last at end of season." 
“Ела Pound!” 


“Traded off to the minor leagues in 
1932.” 

“I think . . . I need . . . one of those 
drinks" Someone put a drink in my 
hand. I gulped it and nodded. I shut my 
eyes and felt the world give one turn, 
then opened my eyes to look at Shelley 
Capon, the classic son of a bitch of all 
time. 

“There is some 


ing even more fan- 
You've heard only the 


"You're lying,” I said. “What could 
there be?” 

He dimpled at me—in all the world, 
only Shelley Capon can dimple at you 
in a completely evil way. “It was like 
this," he said. "You remember that Papa 
had trouble actually getting his stuff 
down on paper in ıhose last years while 
he lived here? Well, he'd planned an- 
other novel after Islands in the Stream, 
but somehow it just never seemed to get 
written. 

“Oh, he had it in his mind, all right 
—the story was there and lots of people 
heard him mention it—but he just 
couldn't seem to write it. So he would 
go to the Cuba Libre and drink many 
drinks and have long conversations with 
the parrot. Raimundo, what Papa was 
telling EI Cordoba all through those 
long drinking nights was the story of his 
last book. And, in the course of time, 
the bird has memorized 

“His very last book!" Y said. “The 
final Hemingway novel of all timc! 
Never written but recorded in the brain 
of a parrot! Holy Jesus!" 

Shelley was nodding at me with the 
smile of a depraved cherub. 

“How much you want for this bird?" 

"Dear, dear Raimundo." Shelley Ca- 
pon stirred his drink with his pinkie. 
"What makes you think the creature is 
for sale?” 

"You sold your mother once, then 
stole her back and sold her again under 
another name. Come off it, Shelley. 
You're onto something big." I brooded 
over the shawled cage. “How many tele- 
grams have you sent out in the last four 
or five hours?” 

"Really! You horrify mel” 

“How many long-distance phone calls, 
reverse charges, have you made since 
breakfast?” 

Shelley Capon mourned a great sigh 
and pulled a aumpled telegram dupli- 
cate from his velveteen pocket. I took it 
and read: 


FRIENDS OF PAPA MEETING HAVANA 
ТО REMINISCE OVER BIRD AND BOTTLE. 
WIRE BID OR BRING CHECKBOOKS AND 
OPEN MINDS. FIRST COME FIRST SERVED. 
ALL WHITE MEAT BUT CAVIAR PRICES. 
INTERNATIONAL PUBLICATION, BOOK, 
MAGAZINE, TV, FILM RIGHTS AVAIL- 
ABLE. LOVE. SHELLEY YOU-KNOW-WHO. 


My God again, I thought and let the 
(continued on page 218) 


ILLUSTRATION BY ARNOLD ROTH 


as the century 
reaches its final 
reel, the silver 
sereen's grand old 
man of the blue 
pencil recounts 
his battles with 
the dark forces 


AN of cinematic evil 
INTERVIEW 
WiTH THE 
CENSOR 


HOLLYWOOD, January 20, 1999— Probably 
na one in Hollywood is more qualified 
to comment on the rampant permissive- 
ness and general dirtiness of current film 
fare than Erwin Putz. A censor of motion 
pictures for more than 40 of his 72 years, 
Putz was interviewed in his small but 
dean office. He poured himself a glass 
of cold duck ("Every Wednesday morn- 
ing,” he explained) as the tape recorder 
began to roll. 

INTERVIEWER: From your ya 
of over 40 years as a blue-pen 

рита: We don't like to be called blue- 
pencil men. I judge the suitability of 
cinematic treatments, 

INTERVIEWER: Whatever. 

putz: It may be whatever to you, 
sonny. but it has been my life's work to 
me. I've raised three children of my own 
and I support an orphanage in Cuba 
through my “whatever.” 

INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry. It was a flip 
remark. From your vantage point, sir, of 
more than 40 years as judge of cinematic 
treatments, how does the boldness of 
todays movies compare with the lurid 
films of yesteryear? 

putz: It's this way: Since the middle 
Sixties, I've seen pornographic films and 
restrictions about pornographic films come 
and go. I've seen things open up and 
close down. (continued on page 240) 


130 


AT THE INTERFACE „ано 


the wealth and stability. the traditions 
and continuity that enable us to have a 
civilization. But the fact is that we've been 
living under false pretenses for centuries 
and many of our psychological strains are 
due to this. We have all these skills 
bottled up—our great powers of percep- 
tion, our binocular vision, our very agile 
hands and the like—all of which were 
developed for hunting and many of which 
were almost useless in an agrarian culture 
and are even less so in our industrial cul- 
ture. Nigel Calder suggested in The En- 
vironment Game that we should spend 
part of our lives in parks or preserves, 
where we could all be hunters again and 
hunt animals—or cach other—and, in that 
way, we might regain some sort of 
psychological balance. The argument is 
valid; for thousands of years, we were 
hunters, and now we're pretending to be 
stockbrokers and accountants and busi- 
ness executives. 
WATTS: Some of our hunting instincts 
come into play on Madison Avenue, 
Arthur, We talk about the business jungle 
and the dog-eat-dog attitude in business 
CLARKE: I wonder if competition is really 
basic to human beings, though. There 
are societies, like the Eskimo, where you 
don't have this competitive spirit, where 
you have a high degree of cooperation. 
We might not have had any kind of 
society or culture at all if we hadn't 
been hunters, because this was the first 
time organisms had to cooperate. But I 
find the whole hunting syndrome very 
unpleasant; | can understand people 
wanting guns if they have to use them 
— professional hunters, game wardens and 
so forth—but I'm convinced there’s some- 
thing wrong with people who hunt and 
love guns, though I'm aware of the reason- 
ing behind that marvelous speech by the 
Devil in Don Juan in Hell, in which he 
says man’s heart is in his weapons. 
WATTS: It was his weapons that first 
distinguished man as something differ- 
ent from the anthropoid ape. 
CLARKE: This is also the beginning of 
2001, Alan. One of the great moments 
in the movie is when you see an ape first 
pick up a bone to use as a club and he 
suddenly realizes the power he now has 
over the rest of the natural world. The 
music reinforces it, but I can never see 
this sequence in the film without almost 
crying; it’s one of the most emotionally 
vivid things in the movie. One of the 
things that give it poignancy is that this 
sequence is also the beginning of war. 
WATTS: One of the sadder things about 
human society is that we cooperate as 
illingly in war as we used to in the 


hunt. 
CLARKE: This reminds me of the remark 
of William James so often quoted—that 
what we really want is the moral equiva- 


lent of war. For a while, the space pro- 
gram gave us exactly that. 

WATIS: War is incredibly difficult to un- 
derstand; if you asked the computers, 
they would tell you that everybody could 
be living in luxury if we didn't spend 
all our money on nonproductive military 
hardware. The money that all the na- 
tions have spent on war since 1914 could 
have solved the economic problems of 
the entire world by now. 

CLARKE: It amounts to about a trillion 
dollars in the past ten years alone. But 
the reason we have wars—and I know I 
sound bitter when I say this—is that we 
probably like wars. If we're wil 
for them, we must enjoy them. 
watts: I'm not so sure we enjoy them 
anymore. One increasingly sees the soldier 
portrayed as а bardhat, involved in a 
demolition job on a grand scale. Perhaps 
the soldier is beginning to see himself that 
way; look at the march on Washington 
by the Vietnam veterans. I think we 
realize more and more that war is a luxury 
we can't afford, financially or any other 
way; the hydrogen bomb is a suicide 
bomb. Another factor that has given us 
doubts about war is that we've ceased to 
wage it for sensible reasons—to capture 
women or territory. War is now an ideo- 
logical quarrel about abstractions. And 
they're the worst kind. Or you could take 
the point of view that the real reason 
for the war in Vietnam is that no country 
with a large standing military establish- 
ment can afford to have an army with- 
out veterans and, therefore, that practice 
wars in unimportant places are always 
necessary, just as the Germans trained 
troops in Spain before the Second World 
War and tried out their ncw aircraft. T 
think the United States may be doing a 
lot of that in Vietnam, like the way samu- 
rai used to test out their swords on the 
street. yokels. 

CLARKE: I’m against hunting. I'm against 
war. I'm against killing of any kind for 
any reason. Its a blot on the human 
race and I hope to live to see the end of 
it, even for food. I'm a carnivore myself, 
but I feel moral qualms when a steak 
cringes beneath my knife. It's the old 
argument of whether we're morally justi- 
fied in slaughtering animals for food. 
WATIS: This question about food, about 
man's purchasing his existence at the 
price of the existence of other living crea- 
tures, is fundamental. I wrote an article 
about it once that raised the basic ethical 
question: What are you to do when 
you're a member of a mutual eating so- 
cicty? The only solution I could see was 
to do reverence to whatever you killed 
by cooking it well. 

CLARKE: I'm not so sure it would appre- 
ciate the posthumous honor, Alan. But 
there is another answer. Eventually, we'll 
discover perfect synthetic food, really 


perfect, so that we'll be able to repro- 
duce in every detail any food thats 
ever existed, using carbon dioxide, water, 
oil, coal, lime and so forth as our raw 
materials. This at once obviates the moral 
problem: We finally give up stalking 
animals. Not only could we eliminate 
that primal guilt but in phasing out agri- 
culture, we'll liberate enormous tracts of 
land diat have been taken over by farmers 
in the past few thousand. years, 
watts: Has there ever been a really good 
synthetic food? 
CLARKE: There haven't been any yet, so 
far as I know, probably because foods 
are such complex combinations of mate- 
rials. It’s true that a lot of important 
components can be synthesized now; 
many vitamins can be, and the labor: 
tory replica is identical to the so-called 
real thing. And there's no difference 
between salt made in the laboratory and 
"salt" taken from the sea, except that salt 
from the sea is much better because it's 
not only sodium chloride, it has a lot of 
other compounds mixed in with it. 
wats: Could synthetic food be pro- 
duced in large enough quantities to 
stave off the world-wide famines that so 
many ecologists have predicted? 
CLARKE: It’s possible. The first large 
plants have already been built in France 
to make several thousand tons of pro- 
tein а year from oil through yeast proc- 
essing. It would take only about three 
percent of the world’s total oil production 
to feed the entire human race. 
WATTS: The possibility of converting 
coal or oil into really nutritive food 
would solve this whole ghastly ethical 
problem of the mutual eating society— 
but what would it taste like? 
CLARKE: Food chemists believe they can 
make high-grade beef for a relatively few 
cents a pound that would ultimately be 
indistinguishable in taste, appearance and 
texture from the real thing. 
watts: If they can really do it and make 
it nutritively excellent, I don't care 
whether it masquerades as beef or some- 
thing we've never heard of before, 
whether they make it from oil or, for 
that matter, from rocks. 
CLARKE: Half the nutrients you need are 
in limestone, Alan. But the ideal food 
for man, of course, is man. It's been 
proven by historical evidence. I wrote 
about this once in a science-fiction story 
where, in the end, we succeed in making 
perfect synthetic man. 
wans: Perfect synthetic man! 
CLARKE: Why not? You just said it didn't 
matter if it tasted like something we'd 
never caten before. 
wams: What you would have then 
would be ethical cannibalism, 
CLARKE: Everyone who has ever tasted 
man says that once you've acquired the 
taste for it, no other meat means a 
(continued on page 256) 


For her. Clockwise from 12: Leather carry-on bag, by Harrison Leather Goads, $40. Sterling-silver choker with 
antique carved amethyst beads interspersed with sterling-silver beads, by The Silversmith, $250. Eight ounces 
Givenchy Ш Eau de Tailette, by Givenchy, $20. Limited Edition, a one-pound box of milk and dark chocolates, by 
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of either Lara's Theme from Doctor Zhivago or Raindrops Keep Fallin’ on My Head, by Kanro, $B. Plastic sunglasses 
available in a variety of colors, by Riviera, $5 each. Crystal champagne glass, by Dansk Designs, $7.50. Antique 
beaded bag with velvet lining and choin handle, from Lov Boutique, $125. Acrylic six-botile wine rack, by Plexite, 
Inc., $25, halds two bottles of 1764 Cordon Rouge Brut champagne, by G. H. Mumm, about $10 each. 


GRAPHY BY MEL KASPAR 


e 


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universal Circle Colendor, by IDG, $4, holds Terrestrial stainless-steel flatware with stoneware handles, by Taylor & 
ng, $6.50 for five-piece setting. The Tele-Time, on AM/FM clock radio that actually announces the time, by Panasonic, 
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m Ceramar, $150. Pitfalls maze, by Gometime, $10. Proceeding clockwise: Seif-buttering corn popper, by Ной 
on Beach, $18.95. Ployblocks picture puzzle, by Playboy, $10. The Century L100 bookshelf specker with sfp- 
Am foam Quadrex 2 grille, by James B. Lansing So d,s © pair. Rebels, from Citodel Press, $9.95. The Classic 


И» .95, ond Playboy's Host & Bor Book, $1 h from Playboy Press. Electric wok, by West Bend, $29.95. 


ai pr 
X 


PLAYBOY 


134 


Fitna (Quoten; e dm 


MOOD AND PSYCHOSOMATICS 
(Questions 1-8) 


Because the mind is part of the body, 
anything that affects one also affects the 
other. Signals are exchanged between 
the two not only via the central nervous 
system but also by chemical messages 
carried through the blood stream. So 
just as a headache can affect а person's 
mood, emotional problems can manifest 
themselves as a headache or make him 
more susceptible to colds or even more 
serious illnesses, such as heart disease or 
cancer, in subtle psychosomatic ways that 
science does not yet fully understand. 
Questions 1 through 8 deal with those 
aspects of your feelings and physiology 
that most reflect your degree of emo- 
tional adjustment and your ability to 
cope with stress. In this section, the 
More minus answers, the better. 

The physical system most closely 
tuned to the emotions is the alimentary, 
because a child's first gratifications and 
frustrations are centered on eating, 
digesting and eliminating. Therefore, 
digestive problems, from heartburn to 
hyperacidity to ulcers, are frequently 
psychosomatic in origin. Studies carried 
out at the Chicago Institute for Psy- 
choanalysis found that these afflictions 
occur most often in people whose de- 
pendencies and ego needs come into 
conflict with their adult desire to be 
independent and self-sufficient, These psy- 
chosomatic symptoms or ailments demon- 
strate an inability to express emotions 
and to willingly accept certain needs 
and conflicts as normal and inevitable, 
ely or- 
ganic in origin or the result of bad 
nutrition and health habits, the effect 
still is to dull a person's ability to cope 
with stress, to interact with others and to 
enjoy his surroundings. Sometimes these 
"real" health problems are themselves 
a defense against intimacy. A person 
who has little love for himself may use 
health neglect as a form of self-punish- 
ment; the consequent health problems— 
being chronically run-down, overweight 
or whatever—make him unattractive to 
others and thereby spare him the anxie- 
ties of close interpersonal interaction. Not 
only can he blame his insularity on the 
fact that he feels bad or is unappealing to 
others but he can, like a hypochondriac 
who incessantly complains about his 
health, secure from others a certain 
amount of attention and sympathy that 
he identifies as love. 

‘The interdependence of mental and 
physical well-being is experienced by ev- 
eryone during periods of depression. 
The best cure for the blues is activity. A 
brisk walk or a game of tennis or h: 
ball gives the body and, with it, the 


Even when illnesses are gen! 


mind a quick pick-me-up. But the blues 
can also produce such physical lethargy 
that a depressed person can't even force 
himself to physical exertion. In some, a 
mild, unrecognized depression, with its 
accompanying sluggishness, becomes a 
way of life. 

If the depressed person tends to re- 
treat into a lethargic melancholy that 
depresses those around him, the irrita 
ble person, or the one with a tigger 
temper, wies to manipulate others by 
threat of emotional or even physical out- 
bursts. Both types are difficult, sometimes 
impossible, to live with. 


THE BURDEN OF BEING INDEPENDENT 
(Questions 9-19) 


In the same way that many of our 
psychosomatic and physical ailments arise 
from the conflict between the wish to 
remain a dependent child with no 
responsibilities and the need to mature 
into a self-sufficient, responsible, inde- 
pendent adult, so do many of our other 
physical and psychological needs. Ques- 
tions 9 through 19 deal with these com- 
peting adult-child needs and. except for 
question 19, minus answers suggest a 
favorable resolution of the conflict. 

The person who has not adequately 
adultchild conflict. often 
s a happier time than the 
present; he also tries to derive a sense of 
strength and security from any number 
of sources outside himsel{—booze, drugs, 
rology, religion, a spouse, sympathetic 
friends. By indulging his dependencies, 
he also evades assuming personal respon- 
sibility when things go wrong—as they 
invariably do, simply because those 
people or things he has put in charge of 
his life can't really run it for him. When 
his crutches let him down, he probably 
doesn't openly express his anger, how. 
ever, for that could cost him his support. 
He can't lash out at his wife or his 
friends; they might withdraw. He can't 
even blame alcohol or drugs for the 
problems these may be creating; logic 
would dictate that he give them up. So 
he bottles up his feelings of hostility 
and frustration until he explodes in 
anger, usually over some trifle. 

A person so dependent on others 
tends toward jealousy and posse 
denying others any expression of indi- 
viduality or personal interests that can 
be construed as competing with his own 
needs or causing neglect of them. Such 
smothering often causes the smothered 
one to seek relief through solitude or 
even infidelity, which is never forgiven 
nor forgotten but used to stoke the fires 
of resentment that the betrayed calls 
love. Though he constantly professes 
love, he has not cnough even for him- 


self, much less for anyone else, and his 
possessiveness eventually strangles any 
Jove that others have for him. 

"Ihe independent, coping adult takes 
responsibility for his own life, accepts 
his fallibility and possesses the self 
confidence to make a mistake—even a 
serious one—and not write himself off as 
a failure. He does not overly worry tha 
he may make a bad decision and w 
even gamble in reaching toward hi 
goals. Yet he is not so future oriented 
that hc can't enjoy the present. He 
works hard when he works, then leaves 
his job at the office, or wherever, when it's 
time to play. 

In general, the truly independent per- 
son is secure enough to dress as he likes, 
live as he likes and shrug off criticism that 
his own code or conscience tells him 
is unwarranted. Most important, he is 
secure enough to respect the rights 
and differences of others and nor feel 
threatened. 


AWARENESS: THOSE WHO HAVE 
EYES TO SEE 


(Questions 20-30) 


“Lose your mind—come to your senses,” 
Fritz Perls used to tell his students. And 
that’s what should happen when two 
people make love—perceive feelings, ideas 
and sensations that cannot be communi- 
ed visually nor verbally. Unfortunately, 
too many people are sensually blind and 
deaf and cannot, like truly intimate 
beings, readily exchange those subtle feel- 
ings and emotions for which there are no 
words. Questions 20 through 30 explore 
your capacity то not just see and hear but 
to perceive and [cel and respond to others 
as well as to your surroundings. Here, 
hopefully, your answers are pluses. 

If you turn on to all kinds of sights. 
sounds, feels, tastes, odors 
you probably have a hi 
intimacy simply because your senses are 
so highly tuned. Or, to put it another 
way, your senses are highly tuned be- 
cause you're not afraid to be intimate. 
You respond to the tone of a person's 
voice knowing, intuitively, that it usu- 
ally communicates his inner feclings of 
either calm or stress more faithfully 
than does his outward appearance or com- 
posure. You utilize your other senses 
wise to experience and "get cl 
things, familiar or unfamiliar, because 
your curiosity level sufficiently exceeds 
your anxiety level that you're not afraid 
а new sensation will be unpleasant. 

Таке, for example, the sense of smell. 
Most humans left behind when our 
species stopped navigating on all fours, 
using our noses to warn us of danger or 
lead us to food and water and sex. 
Uptight people may have a highly de- 
veloped sense of smell, but it’s likely 
10 be one that rejects most human 
and organic odors because of personal 

(continued on page 248) 


“Luckily, I don’t have as much trouble getting 
out of the house as most men do.” 


lucky londoners: miss january, 
marilyn cole, becomes public relations 
girl for our thamestown hutch 


BODY 
ENGLISH 


Getting to know the city is half the fun for Marilyn, who moved to London in 1970 from 
her native Portsmouth. Above, she joins her friend, photographer's model Martine, on a day's 
round of modeling assignments; below, the girls pause to rubberneck at St. James's Palace. IA 


136 


Taking advantage of a break in Martine’s 
schedule, the girls stop in at the Cockney 
Pride Pub in Piccadilly (left), where—eschew 
ing the heartier fare listed on the menv— 
they sip some soft drinks. Then it’s on to the 
photography studio of Gerald Green, where 
Martine has on appointment. Photographer 
Green explains some fine points of camera 
technique to Morilyn (below), while Martine 
poses. Both Green and Martine try to per- 
suade Marilyn to moke a few test shots, 
but she дети. “I've done a bit of model- 
ing,” she soys, “although mostly for fashion 
shows back home in Portsmouth. On the 
whole, | don't enjoy being photographed 
It gets very boring.” Fortunately, Marilyn's 
new job—handling public relations for the 
London Playboy Club, where she formerly 
worked as Door Bunny-is more challenging. 


ск HOME in the seaside town of Ports- 
mouth, England, Marilyn Cole used 

to love sailing or basking on the beach— 

but, incredibly enough, she felt conspic 

uous in a swimsuit. “I was а 

legs were too thin,” she rei 

toward the end of 1970, a girlfriend 

persuaded her to leave her position a 


co-op clerk, move to London and apply 
for a job as a Bunny at the Playboy 
Club there. She was hired on the spot— 
and within the week was recommended 


as a possible Playmate, thus scutding 
permanently any lingering doubts she 
might have had about her bathing-suit 
Before going to London, Mari- 
Iyn’s only previous experience away 
from home had been a six-month stint 
in Marseilles as an au pair. Now she 
a confirmed Londoner who still enjo 
making new discoveries about her adopt 
ed home. "I love the city,” she says. “It's 
very cosmopolitan, with so many people 
here from all over the world th 
doesn’t seem lik nd—or 
Her favorite lı 
rt gallerie 
most especially, the shops, from Bi 


learning the ropes of her new assignment os 
P. R.O. (public relations officer), Marilyn 
goes aver a photo selection with the London 
Playboy Club's Assistant General Monoger 
Wolf Gelderblon (right). One of her duties 
is to coordinate requests for Bunny promo- 
fional appearances—at sports events, charity 
benefits and the like—and here she feels her 
cottontail experience will help. “When 1 took 
the job, I figured that didn't work out, 
1 could always get back into my Bunny 
Costume,” Marilyn reports. “But so for, | 
really love it. After all, this is o mor- 
velous coreer opportunity, isn’t it?” Below: 
In the evening, Marilyn heads home to the 
flat she shares with two Bunnies (who work 
nights). Another month has gone by and she 
flips the calendar page, then fixes herself 
а light supper end enjoys с good hot soak. 


on Kensington High Street to the Sunday 
flea market in Petticoat Lane. When 
she started out at London's Playboy 
Club, Marilyn worked as Door Bunny, 
greeting keyholders and their guests. 
Club executives noted her intelligence, 
poise and friendly smile, and when their 
public relations girl, Dawn Lowis—also 
a former Bunny—retired, Marilyn was a 
natural choice to succeed her. “My first 
reaction was that I couldn't possibly 
handle the job,” Marilyn admits, 
now that I'm getting the hang of it, it's 
turning out to be lots of fun.” Its a 
happy choice of carcer for a girl who, 
although she liked cottontailing, hates 
working nights, which are, of course, the 
busiest hours at the Club. “I'm basically 
a day person," she says. “I just can't loll 
around and sleep until noon." Recently, 
Marilyn found one other thing she can't 
abide: commercialized beauty contests. 
“I was entered in the Miss United King- 
dom competition,” she says. “Jt was aw- 
ful. You're reduced to a number. And the 
girls—well, you wouldn't recognize some 
of them without their make-up. I just can't 
stand phonies.” Obviously, Miss Cole 
herself is very much the genuine article. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALEXAS URBA 


a 
E 
" 


The weekend arrives and, with it, Marilyn renews her favorite pastime—seeing the myr- 
iad sights of London. A special treat (above) is the British Jousting Association's annual 
tournament, held in Syon Park, where Marilyn becomes an enthusiastic fan (right). 
Below, she skips down the steps after visiting the National Maritime Museum. 


PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Two bachelor girls went to see a skin flick. 
Midway through the film, one whispered to 
the other, “The man sitting next to me is 
masturbating!” 

“Just ignore him,” mumbled her friend. 
“I can't—he's using my hand!” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines mate swap- 
ping as sexual four-play. 


Rumor has it that a group of studs got to- 
gether and insisted to the Internal Revenue 
Service that they should be allowed to deduct 
depreciation on the tools of their trade. The 
IRS denicd their contention on the ground that 
there could be no possible loss of valne, due to 
the inflationary nature of their occupation, 


д, 


Throughout his stint in Vietnam, the GI and 
his young wife had kept up an erotic corre- 
spondence that grew more and more intense. 
As the end of his tour of duty drew near, he 
wrote, “When 1 step off that plane in Califor- 
you'd better have a mattress strapped to 
your back! 

“Don't worry, I will,” she replied. “But you'd 
better be the first man off the planc! 


We hear that. catering to weight-conscious 
America, one company is already marketing a 
low-calorie femininc-hygiene spray. 


After his wife died, the old gendeman decided 
to visit a brothel. When the madam answered 
the door, he quaveringly asked what the cost 
would be. “Thirty-five dollars," said the mada 
“You're putting me on!” he responded. 
That will be five dollars extra.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines charisma 
as that indescribable something that chicks with 
big tits have. 


In olden times, there were white knights and 
black Knights. One day a white knight, while 
riding through the forest, came upon a beauti- 
ful damsel in distress. 

“Prithee, fair maiden,” he asked, “why dost 
thou weep?" 

“Oh, noble sire,” she sobbed, “a black knight 
but recently robbed me of my honor!” 

“Cease thy tears,” said the white warrior. “I 
shall forthwith avenge thee!" 

And, sure enough, in ten minutes he had 
her honor back. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines vasectomy 


as tying the scorer. 


The handsome lawyer was interviewing a shape- 
ly apple nt for the job of private secretary 
"Tell me, young lady, can you type fifty words 


a minutc?" he inquired. 
“No, sir, 1 can't," she admitted. 


¢ forty words a minute?” 


“Or even thirty . . . ? 


t discour- 


he said, somewha 
aged, “are you just a hunt^n'-pe 
"No, sir! the girl exclaimed, "I'm already 


engaged!” 


And, of course, you've heard about the nudist 
colony that posted a sign that read: CLOTHED 
FOR THE WINTER. 


said the boy, “we had a spelling contest 
in school today and I missed the very first 
word.” 
“That's too bad, Son. What was the word?" 
“Posse.” 
No wonder you couldn't spell it, you Junk- 
head! You can't even pronounce it! 


A sex researcher was questioning a pretty 
matron about her amorous habits "Do you 
ever have intercourse in the daytime?" he 
asked. 

Y 
week. 

“And do you and your husband talk to each 
other at those times?” 

“Well, no,” she admitted, “but we could if I 
wanted to—I know his office phone number." 


she revealed, “about three times a 


ry after the service, he asked the pastor how 
he had done. 

“Not badly, although there were a few 
slips,” said the older man. “During thi vota- 
tion, you referred to the lion in Daniel's den. 
And then, during the sermon, you urged the 
congregation to follow in the lootsteps of 
the ford. But perhaps you were widest of the 
mark during the reading of the announce- 
ments. I'm afraid there isn't going to be a 
peter-pull at St. Тау. 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
ТІ. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned, 


“Oh, nothing much—just lying around roasting 
nuts by an open fire... .” 


THE LOVES 
ei FRANKLIN 
N; ү AMBROSE 


those cute little coeds were in hot pursuit of the black professor, 
but it was militant molly who really got under his skin 


fiction By JOYCE CAROL OATES ^ decade before the 
phrase “Black is beautiful” became popular, Franklin Ambrose knew 
that he was beautiful. But his beauty had nothing to do with being 
black. He was naturally handsome in a small, neat way; he cultivated 
a thin mustache and a very black, rugged, almost savage goa 
shoes were so shiny that they looked varnished; he wore Pierre Cardin 
shirts of various peacock-gay colors, expensive silk-twill ties and ascots, 
and suits whose notched and peaked lapels expanded and narrowed 
according to fashion laws totally unknown to Frank's mundane, hard- 
working colleagues at the university. He took an obvious, healthy 
pride in physical appearances and was critical of his wife’s clothes, 
which always seemed shapeless and dowdy. “Do you want to cm] А55 
me?” he sometimes asked in exasperation 

But most of the time he was cheerful and very energetic. He has 
tened to put all white people at their immediately, by empha- 
sizing the scorn he felt for anything * (he hated that modish 
word; he preferred the more sanitary and middle-class Negro"). In 


ease, 
lac 


fact, he accepted a position at a small university in southern Canada, 
near Hamilton, because he suspected—correctly—that there would be 


few Negroes in the school. He had only one real rival—a popular pro- 
fessor of psychology who sported an Afro haircut and love beads; but 
Franklin put him down by saying, whenever the man's name was men- 
tioned, “There's a real professional black." This made his white 
friends laugh appreciatively. 

Franklin was not “black,” but he was very professional. His degrees 
were all from Harvard and he had spent a year in England as a Ful- 
bright Fellow; during that time, he had developed a faint, dipped 
English accent. At Harvard he had been very popular with Radcliffe 
girls, especially a kind of bright, intense Jewish girl who shared many 
of his interests in literature and music. But he wanted to marry an- 
other kind of girl—he didn't know why, exactly—he h 
set on a Wellesley girl whose father was а judge in Boston, a sweet girl, 


id his heart 


not very intelligent but gifted with a pale, smooth, almost porcelain 
complexion, Their marriage was violently opposed by her family, but 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY VINCENT ARCILESI 


147 


PLAYBOY 


148 


Franklin won, and in 1965 he accepted 
a position at Hilberry University and 
took his bride to a small city in south- 
eastern Ontario: with great anticipation, 
a sense of drama, for he was the only 
Negro in the English department and the 
only Harvard man. 

Frank became the department's most 
popular profesor at once. And yet 
something began to happen in the sec- 
ond year: He felt a strange, aimless 
melancholy, his classroom successes came 
too easily, he noticed that he and Eu- 
nice, out together, no longer attracted the 
attention and the occasional outraged 
glares they had attracted in the past. No 
doubt about it, Eunice was becoming 
dowdy, her waist and hips thickening; 
she was not cven very pretty. The only 
happiness in Frank's life was his twin 
sons, wonderfully light, almost fair little 
boys, with beautiful features—especially 
their dark, thickly lashed eyes. At times 
he stared at them as if unable to believe 
the miracle of their physical beauty. 
How had anything so wonderful hap- 
pened to him? 

As his wife's looks dwindled and Frank 
began to sink into the ordinary routine 
of teaching in an ordinary university— 
no overwrought, neurotic, brilliant Rad- 
diffe girls to stir the adrenalinel—he felt 
at times a sense of panic. What, he was 
28 years old? What, already he was 30? 
For his 32nd birthday he gifted himself 
with a white MG, though his family could 
obviously not fit in it, He bought an 
elegant, rather Beau Brummellish smok- 
ing jacket to wear in his study at home 
and a sueded-calfskin belted coat that 
drew all cyes to it as he strolled across the 
graylit campus. He began going with his 
students to The Cave, a popular pub, 
crowded and noisy and merry; the major- 
ity of his student friends were boys, who 
eagerly appreciated his wit and his friend- 
liness—most of the other professors nerv- 
ously avoided all personal contact with 
students—but a few were girls. They were 
all the same type, more or less: intellec- 
tual, casual, a little brazen, a little sloppy, 
and they seemed to appreciate Frank 
even more than the boys did. 

A possibility dawned on Frank. 

Yes, he was attracted to the girls as 
if to searing, caressing rays of light: 
their pale skins, their moving, twisting, 
smirking, giggling mouths, their tight, 
thigh-high skirts, their nervous writhing 
mannerisms when they came in for "con- 
ferences” to his office. They brushed their 
long hair out of their eyes and smiled 
at him. Frank would feel at such times 
an intoxication that forced him to lean 
forward, gazing at them, his own eyes 
bright and his flesh livened by their 
closeness. They complained to him about 
their families or their other professors 
or their boyfriends: “My boyfriend is, 
I don't know, he's so dumb compared 
with someone like you, Dr. Ambrosc. 


. I mean, he's so dumb when it 
comes to conversation that I just sort 
of blank out and think about, well, 
you, I guess. 1 mean I think about how 
funny you were in class or something 
апд... well . . . 1 think about you 
when I'm with him, you know, when 
the two of us are . you know. 
. . . I feel real rotten about it, because 
it isn't fair, I guess, to him, because 
we're really sort of in love . . . and . . 
and. ..." And they would gaze at Frank 
with their eyes sometimes misting over. 
At such times he felt his heart beat with 
certainty: Unmistakable! 

‘The girls were so sweet, with their 
kisses and thcir sudden, rationed tears, 
that Frank went about in a perpetual 
daze, more genial than ever before. 

Being a gentleman, he made no more 
than the most subde of allusions to his 
colleagues in the department, most of 
whom were prematurely weary, slowed 
down with families, balding. thickening, 
and yet still fired feebly with hopes of 
romance; they were temporarily fresh- 
ened by stray rumors of secret liaisons, 
even though the liaisons never happened 
to them. They appreciated Frank, who 
was, after all, black (the word began to 
be used, cautiously, around 1969-1970), 
so trim and handsome and elegantly 
turned out, and they quipped that he was 
their liaison man with the students. 

“Frank will bridge the generation gap 
for us,” they said with wistful, encourag- 
ing smiles. 

But then, in the late Sixties, an essay 
with the title “The Student as Nigger” 
became widely circulated; it was even 
published in the student newspaper. 
Frank was aghast, He couldn't believe it. 
Colleagues and students began talking 
quite familiarly, openly, of the oppres- 
sion of students and "niggers"—often in 
Frank's presence, as if to demonstrate to 
him how liberal and understanding they 
were. The word nigger! On everyone's 
lips! Frank was furious, demoralized, 
befuddled; he would not explain his 
moods to his wife; he went out one 
evening by himself to a cocktail lounge 
far from the university, where he got 
drunk and had to be sent home in a 
taxicab. At such times, when he was very 
drunk, he had the confused idea that 
some white man—any white man at all 
—was trying to appropriate his twin 
boys. “They want to take my babies 
away, my babies,” he would weep. “They 
want to take my babies because I'm black 
and my babies are white. . . . 

He knew he was not a nigger, and yet 
he wasn't sure that other people, glanc- 
ing at him, knew. He recalled with 
horror the evening, at a faculty party, 
when the slighdy drunken wife of a 
colleague had cornered him to ask whether 
he planned “to go back to the ghetto 
to help his people,” seeing that he him- 
self was so successful, That white bitch! 


But his young girl students fawned 

over him, even pursued him, singly and 
in small packs. There was no doubt of 
his manhood with them. Their names 
were Cindy and Laurie and Sandy and 
Cheryl; they passed in and out of his 
arms with the rotation of the academic 
semesters, some of them wise and cynical 
with experience, others incredibly naive 
and therefore dangerous; they were like 
figures in the most riotous, improbable 
of his adolescent dreams, somehow lack- 
ing substance, lacking souls, because of 
their very eagerness to oblige him. “But, 
Dr. Ambrose, you're a genius from Har- 
vard and all that, I'm afraid to talk to 
you, I'm afraid you're giving me a grade 
when you just look at mel” One of the 
Cindys or Sandys whose bold stare had 
misled Frank nearly caused a scandal by 
confessing to her parents, who in turn 
called the university's president and sev- 
eral members of the board of trustees; 
but after a four-hour conference in the 
president's office, Franklin managed to 
be forgiven. He promised not to be 
indiscreet" again. 
That was in the winter of 1969. In the 
spring of that year, the appointments 
and promotions committee (called the 
hiring and firing committee) of the de- 
partment interviewed applicants for the 
position of lecturer in English. Franklin 
was the youngest member of this power- 
ful committee and he grilled candidates 
for the job seriously. He was not very 
impressed with a young Ph.D. from Yale 
nor with a young Indian student from 
Oxford; he was very impressed with a 
young woman named Molly Holt, who 
rushed in 15 minutes late for her inter- 
view, wearing a very short leather skirt 
and bright-gold boots. 

Franklin stared at this girl. She was 
no more than five feet, one or two, and 
therefore shorter than he. She was very 
pretty, with a small, pixylike face, 
blonde hair snipped short and puffed 
out carelessly about her face, so young, 
so pretty, with impressive recommenda- 
tions from the University of Chicago! 
It was hard to believe. Frank's interest 
in her grew as he glanced through her 
application and saw that she was a di- 
vorcee with a three-year-old son. She was 
answering questions pertly and brightly. 
Obviously an intelligent woman, Frank 
was careful to ask her questions that 
might lead her to admirable statements: 
am deeply commited to literature 
and to teaching, yes,” she said. "And to 
the future, 10 the struggle for equality 
between men and women.” Hastily, 
Frank asked her about her doctoral thc- 
sis, which she had just begun: “It's 
called Crises of Sexual Identity in Trol- 
lope and Dickens,” she said. "lt grew 
out of my fascination with the role of 
women in Victorian li 
Charles Dickens created Edith Dombey! 

(continued on page 152) 


ecology freaks, take note: 
all the news that's fit 
to print ts fit to use! 


he Sundoy Times is 
under ottock. Recy- 
clists find it lamen- 


tobly heavy—in the preslang 
meaning of that ward—and 

some have gone so far as to 

suggest that il be offered 

for sale in sections, so that the 

buyer can carry home, and 

toss inta the Monday-morning 

trash, only the news he finds 

fit to read. The Times feels 

this notion is econamically 

naive. What ta do? PLAYBOY 

and illustrator James Higa 

pandered this prablem and 

hit upon a literally con- 

structive solution. Higa went 

quickly to work. You can see 

the rewsworthy results of his a 
efforts by turning the page. 


PLAYBOY 


152 


FRANKLIN AMBROSE 


—and yet in his personal life he was such 
a bastard, a real male chauvinist pig—" 

After this, it took Frank several hours 
and several meetings of the committee 
to hire Miss Holt: He had a lot of 
talking to do. 

When she arrived in September, he 
drove her around in his neat little white 
sports car, helping her locate an apart- 
ment, helping her unpack books (she 
had a small mountain of books); he lent 
himself out as her escort at university 
functions for the first few weeks. Some- 
one sent his wife an anonymous note 
that said. “Your husband is extremely 
attentive to a certain young lady profes- 
sor,” but Frank tore it up with such 
contempt and such finesse that his wife 
could not help but believe him, though 
she wept. Frank, in Molly Holts com- 
pany, was careful to be polite and witty 
and distant, never staring too boldly at 
her nor taking up her vivacious com- 
ments—she was always complimenting 
him on his clothes—as if he feared what 
might happen might happen too quick- 
ly. Molly herself dressed rather flamboy- 
antly for a young lady with her rigorous 
academic background (before Chicago, 
she had gone to Bennington); she was 
always hurrying through the depart- 
ments corridors in miniskirts and se- 
rapes and boots and then, as the fashions 
gradually changed, in pants and a blouse 
that clung tightly to her firm, intense 
lite body. At department mectings she 
was a little arch; she sometimes inter- 
rupted people, even the head of the 
department, a small whitehaired man 
named Barth. “We must all learn to be 
more contemporary,” she urged. 

Frank had lunch with her every day, 
hung around her office, drove her to her 
apartment in bad weather, talked her 
into joining him and his students at 
"The Cave, But she was always anxious 
to get home, to relieve her baby sitter 
and to work on her classroom prepara- 
tions; she was so serious! Ar times 
Frank's patient grin began to ache, wait- 
ing for her to get through with all this 
seriousness and talk of literature and. 
clevance," They sat crowded together 
pub booths, arguing and compliment- 
ing cach other; from time to time a 
sharp, almost scaring glance flashed be- 
tween them and Frank would feel a 
little dizzy with certainty. . . . But always 
she had to get home, always she was 
gathering up her big leather purse and 
striding away, and he would be left with 
his gaggle of students 

At home, he sat in his study, in his 
big blackleather chair, and thought 
about Molly. His wife's comfortable, 
bovine presence annoyed him; even his 
boys distracted him from his dreams of 
Molly. Sometimes he went out late at 


(continued from page 148) 

night, saying he needed cigarettes (he 
had begun smoking again, after meeting 
Molly, breaking his five-year period of 
abstinence); he telephoned Molly to ask 
how she was She always said, "Very 
busy! My head is whirling, I have so 
much to do! But I love it.” Frank 
could not decide if she were being delib. 
erately coy, She really confused him. So 
he would ask if she needed any help. 
she needed a mature, male viewpoint 
-.. he would be glad to drop іп... . 

But she always said, "No, thanks! It's 
very thoughtful of you, though." 

As the winter deepened and the On- 
tario sky became perpetually smudged, 
pressing low upon the spirit, even Molly 
began to slow down. Frank noticed that 
her stride was not quite so energetic, 
and one of his colleagues commented. 
zestlully: “It looks like Molly is coming 
in for a landing, like the rest of us.” 
Frank took her out for coffee and asked 
her if anything was wrong. She wore an 
outfit that seemed to be made of green 
burlap, hanging dramatically about her 
and highlighting her small, serious face. 

“Well, I've been working very hard 
this semester,” she said slowly. “I have 
so many student compositions to correct. 
I'm way behind on my dissertation.” 

“Anything else?” 

Molly hesitated. "Well, I'm having 
trouble with my ex-husband. He's trying 
to get out of the child-support payments. 
He is such a bastard, you wouldn't know. 
Or, yes, maybe you would know,” she said, 
raising her eyes dramatically to Frank. 

They were sitting in a small, grimy 
coffee shop; Frank dared public atten- 
tion and patted her hand. It was a very 
small, delicate, pale hand, and the sight 
of his own dark hand on it pleased him, 
excited him. Unmistakable! 

“Maybe I would know, yes," he said, 
wondering what he meant by this. 

“You and I understand each other. We 
have so much in common, so much . 
Molly said, her large brown eyes filling 
with tears. “Oh, sometimes I could 
scream, this whole university is filled with 
fossils who don't understand, they just 
don't understand.” 

And then, as if she'd confessed too 
much, she hurried away to a class. Frank 
was left sitting there, stunned, wonder 
ing if he were falling in love. 

Obviously, he had neyer been in love 
before. 

She avoided him for several days after 
this; he asked her to lunch and their 
conversation. was interrupted by the in- 
trusion of the department's would-be 
poet, Ron Blazack; Frank called her 
evening when his wife was at a meeting 
of the Faculty Wives’ Association. told 
her he had something to say to her and 
talked her into letting him come over. 


“All right,” she said reluctantly, 
give me time to put Jimmy to bed . 
he hasn't been feeling well.” 

When he got there, he was a litle 
disappointed at the way her apartment 
was furnished. "I'm trying to live within 
my means," she said dryly. She offered 
him a drink, though, and Frank smiled. 
happily. He believed he could feel how 
dazzling his smile was. 

“Let's talk,” he said. “Are you happy 
here?” 

“Yes. No. Not really,” she said. 

Such a pretty young woman, in spite 
of the circles of fatigue under her eyes! 
She wore black net stockings with a dia- 
mond design that made Frank lose track 
of the conversation now and then. She 
was complaining about her ex-husband 
and then about the heavy teaching load. 
“But, Frank, this job means more to me 
than anything right now. Thank God 
you people hired me! So many univer- 
sities turned me down . .. I was getting 
desperate. My son has this allergy prob- 
lem I told you about, and 1 don't have 
medical coverage for him, and I was 
really getting panicked. I think that 
some English departments wouldn't hire 


‘but 


my vi 
Frank in the eye, as if he m 
believe so bizarre a statement. 


Frank 
nodded slowly. “And of course there's 


the male chauvinism to fight. God, what 
a fight it's going to be! Centuries of 
discrimination and prejudice. Men have 
got to be reeducated if it destroys 
them." 

She stared down at her polished nails 
and her several big, metallic rings. 
Frank wondered why she had referred to 
men as "them" in his presence, as if she 
weren't talking to a man. This was 
strange. 

"Have men exploited you very much?" 
Frank asked. 

“God, yes." 

He got up and went to sit beside her. 
She laughed bitterly. 

“Why don't you tell me about it?” he 
said in a gentle voice. 

“Thank you, but I'm not a self-pity- 
ing woman. Thank you anyway," she 
said, drawing back from him. "But you 
know what it’s like." 

"What it's like?" 

“To be discriminated against.” 

Frank starcd at her. 

"What's wrong?" she said. 

Frank began to stammer. "Just what 
— what did you mean by that statement? 
Would you kindly explain that state- 
ment?” 


ment?” 
m supposed to know—sup- 
posed to know what it's like to be dis- 
criminated against" 

“Well, don't you?" Molly asked. “Be- 
ing a black, you've been treated like 
(continued on page 276) 


“But you promised you would give me Italy for Christmas.” 


PLAYBOY 


154 


EVERGLADES eno 


enough to try to make their living on a 
flood plain. A worse hurricane hit in 
1928 and this time rescue workers 
stacked the bodies up like cordwood and 
burned them because there was no place 
to bury them in the flooded ground. 
Two thousand people died. Herbert 
Hoover went to Florida to survey the 
destruction. The new levee he caused to 
be built on the south shore of the lake 
stands today. It began the Federal state 
program to control the lake and the Ever- 
glades below, although most of the canal- 
work wasn't started until the late Forties, 
about the time President Truman an- 
nounced the creation of a new national 
park at the lower end of the state. 
Before the park, before even the 
more forgiving of the hurricanes, men 
planned a road from Miami to the Gulf 
and then north to Tampa. It would 
cross the Everglades east to west. To 
build it, a causeway had to be dredged 
beside a borrow canal above standing 
water. After dissension—some thought 
the name a joke—they agreed to call it 
the Tamiami Trail. Men waded the Ever- 
glades and Florida’s western swamp and 
blasted their obstructions away with dy- 
namite. Fought mosquitoes and saw grass 
and limestone to shovel a road west 
from Miami. They drilled spillways under 
the road to drain the sheet water soul 
Today only part of the Ever 
glades that lics within the national 
less than seven percent of its ori 
arca—cscapes direct control; and even 
thar depends during the dry season on 
water draining into it from the spillways 
on the Tamiami Trail and from a new 
canal on the eastern edge of the park. 
The Everglades south of Okeechobee 
for a distance of 25 miles is farmland. 
Three water-conservation areas now lie 
where most of the Everglades ran be- 
fore, They are surrounded by canals and 
levees. The Central and Southern Flori- 
da Flood Control District, using stations 
constructed by the Army Corps of Engi- 
neers, pumps water into these areas for 
storage in dry times and pumps water 
out of them to the ocean in times of 
potential flood. They are maintained as 
wilderness areas, and as many people v 
them for hunting and fishing and 
boating annually as visit the 
park. Buc they are only historically Ever- 
Blades, because the water flows thro 
them now only at the behest of man. Nor 
are they particularly effective for storage. 
One scientist estimates that most of the 
water they catch is evaporated or 
transpired before it can be used. They 
ally shallow lagoons. It was 
as that the worst of last win- 
ter's fires burned. It was in one of them, 
in 1966, when flood followed five years 
of drought, that the stress of high water 
killed thousands of deer. People blamed 


the Corps of Engineers. The Corps an- 
nounced that the water-conservation area 
where the deer were killed had been de- 
signed not for wildlife preservation but 
for water control. 

The park suffered during the same 
drought. Lacking the rainfall that sup- 
plies it with 80 percent of its water, it 
needed the flow south from Okeechobee, 
but the spillways on the Tamiami Trail 
were closed. The Corps explained that 
it had not planned the water-conservation 
system to feed the park. 

Hurricanes in the Twenties, fires in 
1945, flood in 1947, severe drought in 
the early Sixties, flood in 1966, more 
fires in 1970 and 1971—south Florida 
and the Everglades have had their woes. 
But cycles of flood and drought have 
always worked their changes on the 
south Florida landscape. The difference 
today is that men are there, men who 
are working their changes, too. 

The jetport controversy has been re- 
solved. Forty thousand flights a month 
still use the single training strip north 
of the Tamiami Trail above Everglades 
National Park, but the training strip 
will be moved and the jetport built 
elsewhere in Florida, on a site where the 
natural order has already given way 
completely to the man-made. It is worth 
remembering that the preservationists’ 
victory was only a relative one. The 
jetport has not been canceled. It will 
only be moved, to a place where it will 
cause less damage because the damage 
has already been done. That is what 
rankles the landowners of southwest 
Florida. They have held their land for 
years, paid taxes on cypress swamp and 
wet prairie and everglades, waited their 
tum while the Gold Coast yielded up 
its wealth. The jetport would have sus- 
tained a major city. A Government far 
away, an Interior Secretary from Alaska, 
a President from California, denied 
them their dream. Gave it away to other 
landowners. Encouraged by wilderness 
activists and hordes of newsmen, just 
such people as Spiro Agnew warned 
against. 

The of city building, the 
dream of land bought at $100 an acre 
and sold for $20,000, has not faded. The 
jetport released energies in south Flori- 
da that will not easily be discharged. 
Twenty-five years ago, the same land- 
owners watched a new national park 
devour huge areas of Dade and Monroe 
counties. They say bitterly today what 
they must have thought bitterly then, 
that the park is already larger than the 
state of Delaware. They mean. how 
much land does a park need? And not a 
notably scenic park, at that, a water 
park, a biological park, a park for alliga- 


dream 


tors and birds and gumbolimbo trees. 
Then the jetport, a second chance. Lost 
because it would damage the park. 
Then, in 1970, the possibility that a leg 
of Interstate 75 might be cut from Na- 
ples to Miami to replace the Tamiami 
Trail. A panel of scientists and еп 
neers recommended that no road at all 
be built. Florida's secretary of transpor- 
tation compromised on Alligator Alley, 
which runs from Naples straight to Fort 
Lauderdale and avoids most of the Big 
Cypress. But even the new highway 
won't do landowners much good, because 
it will probably have few access roads. 
Having successfully expelled the Ever 
glades jetport, preservationists are now 
fighting to save the Big Cypress Swamp 
from development. Only from the Big 
Cypress does water still drift freely into 
the park. ‘The preservationists would like 
the Federal Government to buy 500,000 
acres north of the park to protect its 
western water supply, a supply that 
amounts to more than half of its dry- 
season flow. Burdened with deficits, the 
Nixon Administration would prefer to try 
to preserve the land without buying i 
converting the Tamiami ‘Trail into a 
scenic parkway and Federally zoning the 
swamp around it for recreation only. 
The landowners, the big ones, are 
fighting back, and fighting the 
because they know this may be th 
chance. Much of the Big Cypress 
nally intended to be included 
park. It is still raw today, but develop- 
ment is beginning. New towns are going 
up on its western edge. A Miami real- 
estate firm is selling land within the park 
itself for “waterfront estates,” land still 
privately owned because Congress has not 
yet provided funds to buy it, Oil com- 
panies would like to drill in the Big 
Cypress, laying down access roads that 
would further alter its sheet-water flow 
and encourage development. Speculators 
are dredging out canals. If the Everglades 
jetport was yesterday's south Florida con. 
troversy, the Big Cypress is today's. 


You cin walk in the Big Cypress, if 
you don't mind getting wet. Roberts 
Lake Strand is surrounded by Loop 
Road 94 in the heart of the land the 
preservationists hope Gongress will buy. 
It is one of the smaller strands in the 
Big Cypress and one still unmarred ex- 
cept for the scars of old logging and the 
deprivations of boy scouts in search of 
cypress knees. The strand begins at road- 
side, a screen of brush and cypress trees. 
If you do not know the swamp, you 
do not enter it easily, по more easily 
than you would parachute for the first 
time from a plane. Panthers. Water moc 
casins. Alligators. The water creeps over 
your shoes. Firm bottom, sometimes bare 
limestone pitted with holes dissolved 

(continued on page 278) 


symposium 


THE 


MOMENT 


seven exceptional competitors talk about those mental and physical 
factors that determine the difference between triumph and defeat 


THE PHYSICAL AREA in which an athlete works has strictly measured 
peripheries: an outfield wall 400 feet from home plate, a basketball 
court with painted boundary lines, a wooden rodeo fence surround- 
ing dirt and dust. And in this tight physical environment, the athlete 
is given a precise amount of time or number of chances in which to 
do his job. This explains the magic ability of sports to produce intense 
realities from a set of artificial conditions. The seven men on these 
pages, all top performers in their fields, know this better than most of 
us. Here, they share some of what flashes through their minds when 
the decisive instant—the fraction of a second when actions must be 
reflexive—is facing them. They also discuss those talents acquired with 
experience that help account for their great success. And some of them 
reveal their feelings after a confrontation that has brought loss or near 
injury, when they are forced to look inside themselves and find that 
necessary confidence to prepare for their next moments of challenge. 


If a guy hurts you in the ring, 
you got to retaliate quick or it'll 
show him you're hurt and he'll close 
in for the kill. I retaliate only if I'm 
hurt, and when that happens, I hear 
Че hum in my ear goin’ "Oooo- 


What still bothers me about the 
Ali fight is, when I hurt him, I didn't 
seem to have my killer instinct in me. 
I keep worryin’ about that, wonderin’ 
why. When I stunned Ali in the Hlth 
round, I shoulda run to him, like 1 
wanted to kill him, while he was stil] 
dazed, Maybe I didn’t do it because, 
when a man’s hurt, he’s dangerous, 
and, rememberin’ how Ali handled 
himself in that round, I think it was 
best for me to be cool instead of 
tryin’ to murder him. 

People were sayin’ about how he 


didn't have it anymore, but this man 
got more now than he ever have. I hit 
him with all 204 pounds of me and 
he survived. If he got hit like that a 
year or two ago, no way he could 
survive. 

Clay's a jive artist and I think he's 
just foolish as far as that's concerned. 
Then, when he can't live up to his 
big talk, he looks like a bigger fool. 
He was playin' games before the fight: 
I'm serious about my work. 

Clay was missin’ with his jabs, he 
was throwin’ ‘em conslantly—bam, 
bam, bam! Pretty soon that sucker 
done shot off all his load and I could 
take advantage of it because I get 
stronger zs a fight goes on. I'd like 
'em to add five more rounds the next 
time we meet up. 1 don't know what 
hed say then—but I’m preuy sure 
І know what he'd be feelin’. 


158 


156 


AL UNSER 


When you're running along at 200 
miles an hour down a straightaway, 
you have to concentrate very hard. 
То pass another car. you must know 
exactly where the corner is and if 
there's space to get by. You've got to 
hit the corner on time, not even by a 
fifth of a second wrong. That's a 
lifetime on a race wack. And you 
always go a little too far out on the 
limb, or else you can't win. You have 
to run on the ragged edge. But some- 
times you miss. I've hit the wall on 
every corner in Indianapolis. If you 
make a mistake or the engine breaks 
down or there's an accident in front 
of you, you're in bad shape quick. 1 
get scared like anybody else. You nev- 
er forget the danger. I've had friends 
Killed on tracks. My brother was killed 
in Indianapolis in *59. We don't talk 


about it, but the danger is what makes 
racers sharp out there. 

I know how I like my car to han- 
dle and 1 stay real close to it till the 
night before a race. When I started, I 
couldn't sleep before a race, but that 
stops after you've won some. Ba 
cally, every driver has the problem of 
getting himself unpsyched; if a driver's 
too worked up, he can't think right, 
tries too hard and makes a mistake. 
Indy is the biggest, the one I dreamed. 
about when I was a kid, You have to 
be sharper there than anywhere else. 
It's big money—last year my car won 
$238,000—and it's a tough, bumpy 
track. Each year you're up against 
drivers as good as you are and cars as 
fast as yours. I've won it twice in a 
row. No one’s ever won it three years 
straight. That's the challenge, and 1 
love it. 


VIDA BLUE 


When I'm on the mound, listening 
to the national anthem, I'm so but- 
terflied up it seems to play forever 
Bur after I throw that first pitch, Im 
in another world. The first batter 
will come to the plate thinking I'm 
gonna throw him almost all fastballs 
—and he's right. When I’m throwing 
good, they'll be moving in crazy 
directions: up and down, in and out 
Tve got to challenge a guy with my 
best stuff, and he's gonna have to 
hit it to prove otherwise to me. Al- 
though he may be looking for the 
fastball, he doesn't know if it's con 
ing inside or outside, high or lo 


Im the only one who knows that, 
so I don't worry about batters’ get 
ting sct for me. But if they crowd the 
plate, I move them back. A batter 
owes a pitcher that much respect. My 


fastball can do three things: It can 
go straight, sail or sink. And, I forgot: 
It can also get hit hard. 1 don't get 
bothered when a .300 batter hits me, 
but I have a tendency to relax 
against a guy batting .180, and tha 
bad. If he hits me, I get really down, 
because I'm better than that 

Nine innings take more out of а 
fastball pitcher than a man who 
throws curves and change-ups and, 


after a game, I'll soak my arm in ice 
to relieve the stiffness, After ten min 
utes, it feels like a bottle of cham. 
pagne about to explode 
1 want to be mentally and physical 
ly ready to win every time 1 pitch 
To do it, you have to believe you're 2 
winner. My high school coach used to 
"Small fish don't swim in deep 
мег” To be a winner, you have to 
want to be the biggest fish there is, 
you have to want to be the best. 


sa 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY RANAN LURIE 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY BANNER ANO BURNS, INC, 


arobust way to revivify your 
new years celebrants after a long 
nights revel into day 


BJ DAWNS 
EARLY LIGHT 


food and drink By THOMAS MARIO 


MORE AND MORE farsighted hosts these days 
are convinced that the best way to end a 
New Year's Eve party is by starting another 
one—a breakfast at dawn. The lazy exodus 


at sunrise that's often a distinct letdown 
will be stayed and the revelers revived by 
mountains of scrambled eggs with anchovy 
toast, an avalanche of hot grilled link sau- 
sages and a chafing dish bubbling with 
creamed Smithfield ham and pearl hominy. 
Outside, the dawn may still come up like 
thunder; inside, the festival will start to the 
steamed-up rhythm of the coffee maker. 

A wise variation on the standard New 
Years Eve theme is to move the party en 
masse—come breakfast time—to the pad 
of one of the celebrants who has volun- 
teered to be the number-two hast. In this 

se, some brief teamwork in advance be 
tween the two hosts means the job of New 
Year's entertaining will be divided rather 
than doubled. No law says a holiday break- 
fast can't be held in the very same digs in 
which a few hours earlier the bubbly was 
flowing copiously. But a fresh locale—an 
apartment on another floor of the same 
building or neighboring digs—and, if pos- 
sible, a deep breath of cold winter air are 
the best possible aperitifs for a gathering 
at the break of day. Needless to say, an 
advance party of the host and his helper 
should leave the main body beforehand to 
set up shop. 

By its very nature, a breakfast is the kind 
of meal in which any kind of show-off menu 
is as out of place as a neon sign on a buffet 


PLAYBOY 


160 cheese through 


table, Let your menu be simple but imag- 
inative. The flaming skewers and ornate 
aspics of the formal dinner table give way 
to dishes as rustic as smoked-salmon, 
cream-cheesc-and-potato cakes. Remember 
that dishes such as crepes, which a few 
years ago cut a somewhat precious figure, 
are now accepted as easygoing members of 
the breakfast board, perfectly at home 
alongside brioche and butter. While 
breakfast dishes should be unpretentious, 
g should be permitted to turn the 
gathering into a hitor-miss arrangement. 
Several days before the party, scan your 
menu and set the stage comfortably in 
advance: Smoked-salmon cakes or waffles 
may be frozen and reheated at the last 
moment; crepes, creamed ham and hom- 
iny, griddlecake batter and the makings 
of a tempting egg platter should be 
assembled and in the refrigerator, ready 
to go at the first streak of sunrise. Crois- 
sants, salt sticks or any other form of 
bread or rolls should be freshened in the 
oven just before they're borne to the ta- 
ble. If you are offering fresh toast, use 
the broiler for toasting it in one huge 
batch in order to serve it piping hot at 
one time. In justice to your guests, open 
a fresh can of coffee or, if you own a 
collee grinder, grind the beans minutes 
belore they're put into the pot. And dawn 
breaks brightest when it's ushered in with 
a well-chosen pick-me-up. 

The following recipes will make pulses 
leap anew and keep body and soul to- 
gether long alter the last echo of popping 
champagne corks has died away. 


COGNAC SOUR WITH BITTERS 


114 025. cognac 

Ya oz. lemon juice 

2 teaspoons sugar 

y4 CEE white (1 tablespoon) 

2 generous dashes Angostura biuers 

To measure egg white, beat slightly 
with fork. Shake cognac, lemon juice, 
sugar and egg white extremely well with 
ice. Strain into prechilled Delmonico or 
whiskey-sour glass. Pour bitters on top. 


SMOKED-SALMON, CREAM-CHEESE- 
AND-POTATO CAKES 
(12-14 cakes) 

14 Ib. sliced Nova Scotia 

2 large baking potatoes 

2 egg yolks 

Y Ib. cream cheese 

% cup onions, small dice 

Butter 

14 teaspoon salt 

14 teaspoon pepper 

Salad oil 

Bake potatoes in oven preheated at 
450° until soft—about 1 hour. Beat egg 
yolks in large mixing bowl. Cut potatoes 
in half lengthwise; scoop out pulp while 
still hot, force through potato ricer and 
mix well with egg yolks Force cream 
ricer into bowl. Cut 


almon 


salmon into Yin. dice. Sauté onions in 
2 tablespoons butter until tender but. not 
brown. Add salmon, onions, salt and 
pepper to potato mixture and stir well. 
Shape into cakes about 11% ins. in diame- 
ter and 3 in, thick, H mixture is too soft 
to handle, a tablespoon or two of bread 
crumbs may be added. Sauté cakes in а 
mixture of half oil, half butter ший 
brown on both sides. Browned cakes may 
be frozen and reheated in a moderate 
oven before servi 


CREAMED НАМ AND PEARL HOMINY 
(Serves six) 


1 Ib. thinly sliced boiled Smithfield ham 
or baked Virginiastyle ham 

20-07. сап hominy 

3 cups light cream or half-and-half 

3 tablespoons instant flour 

4 tablespoons dry sherry 

Salt, white pepper 

Cut ham into Yin. dice. Place homi- 
ny in strainer; wash well under cold 
in. Pour cream into 
saucepan, Stir in flour until completely 
blended. Bring t0 a boil over moderate 
heat, stirring constantly. Reduce heat 
simmer 3 minutes, stirring occasion- 
Add ham and hominy and simmer 5 
minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in 
sherry; add salt and pepper to taste. May 
be chilled in refrigerator and reheated 
just before serving. 


SCRAMBLED-EGG PLATTER 
(Serves six) 

12-18 eggs 

6 tablespoons milk (optional) 

Butter 

4 teaspoons anchovy paste 

2 Ibs, small link sausages 

3 sweet green peppers 

3 sweet red peppers 


Salad oil 
8 large tomatoes 
Salt, white pepper, sugar, paprika 


Aslices white bread 

2 teaspoons finely chopped chives 

Sprinkle eggs with 1 teaspoon salt and 
y4 teaspoon pepper (milk may be added 
to eggs, if desired). Soften 3 tablespoons 
butter and blend until smooth with an- 
chovy paste. Cook sausages in two batches, 
if necessary. Place them in a single layer 
in a large skillet. Add 1% cup water and 
simmer, covered, 5 minutes. Pour off 
water and continue to cook over moder- 
ate heat until they're lightly browned— 
5 10 8 minutes. Place sausages in a single 
layer in shallow pan or casserole. Place 
peppers under high broiler heat, turning 
occasionally, until they're charred all over. 
Remove skins with towel or knife, Cut in 
half, remove stem ends and seeds, then 
cut them lengthwise into 1% strips. 
Sauté them briefly in oil—until barely ten- 
der. Place in shallow pan. Remove stem 
ends of tomatoes and cut in half crosswise. 


Sprinkle cut sides with salt, pepper, sugar, 
paprika and oil. Place in shallow pan. 
Place eggs, anchovy butter, sausages, 
peppers and tomatoes in refrigerator, 
keeping cach item covered. Before serv 
ing, preheat oven at 400°, Bake toma- 
toes about 15 minutes or until tender. 
They may be placed under broiler for 
additional browning, if desired. Also in 
oven, reheat sausages about 10 minutes 
and peppers about 5 minutes. Toast 
; spread with anchovy butter and 
sprinkle with chives. Cut each piece of 
anchovy toast into 3 strips. Melt 6 table- 
spoons butter in large skillet or chafing 
dish. Add eggs and cook, stirring fre- 
quently, until soft scrambled. Place eggs 
on large platter. Garnish with anchovy 
toast, sausages, peppers and tomatoes. 


ORANGE GRIDDLECARES. 
(Serves six) 


2% cups all-purpose flour 

5 teaspoons baking powder 

1 teaspoon salt 

14 cup sugar 

2 eggs 

13% cups milk 

1 cup orange juice 

3 tablespoons grated orange rind 

6 tablespoons salad oil 

Put all ingredients in large bowl 
mix at low or moderate speed u 
are moistened and just blended. Batter 
need not be velvety smooth. Preheat 
electric griddle at 390°; grease lightly 
with oil. Drop batter by large spoonfuls 
to make griddlecakes 314 to 4 ins. in 
diameter. When they're dull looking 
around edge and bubbly in center, turn 
and brown other side. Serve with butter. 
Offer a choice of maple syrup, blueberry 
syrup or 1 cup honey warmed with 2 
tablespoons butter until butter dissolv 


NEW ORLEANS RICE WAFFLES 
(Serves six) 

1 cup bread flour 
1 cup cake flour 
2 teaspoons baking powder 
y, teaspoon baking soda 
1 teaspoon salt 
3 tablespoons sugar 
4 eggs 
11% cups sour cream 
14 cup milk 
у cup salad oil 
2 tablespoons curagao 
cooked rice 

Put all ingredients except rice in large 
blender and blend 1 minute at high 
speed. Do this in two batches if small 
blender is used. Scrape sides of blender, 
if necessary, to blend thoroughly. Remove 
from blender and stir in rice. Bake in 
preheated мае iron 4 to 5 minutes or 
until light brown. Waflles may be frozen. 
if desired, and reheated in a 450° oven 4 
to 5 minutes, Place frozen waffles directly 
on oven racks. Avoid excessive brownin 

(concluded on page 


1 cup 


5) 


A CLEAN, WELL-LIGHTED 
PLACE OF WHITE HOUSES 


welcome to san clemente—where the drear and the elephant play 


article By F. P. TULLIUS 
SIX O'CLOCK. Late summer. An hour and 
a half of sun left. Typical San Clemente 
day. Clear, but with high, cottony cumu- 
lus brushed across the sky. (There is an 
average of 342 days of sunshine per year 
in San Clemente, you keep reading some- 
where.) San Clemente is in Orange Coun- 
ty, an eponym for political conservatism 
to psephologist and gag writer alike. The 
county was not named after the 
orange but, according to muddled 
historical accounts, after the Dutch 
House of Orange. The principal 
crops of Orange County are cut 
flowers, chicken eggs and strawber- 
ries. Valencia oranges are fourth. 

I can see a small restaurant at 
the end of the pier with a neon 
fish coolly burning above it 
(You don't see much old-style 
neon these days.) It really doesn’t 
matier what the restaurant is 
called. Each successive owner gets 
the neon tuna with it. The pres 
ent proprictor features in hi 
menu an "abalone sandwitch," 
which somehow tastes better than 
an abalone sandwich. The food is 


good and real cheap. But don't fly out from 
the East Coast with a party of eight on 
my recommendation. The half-day fishing 
boat Sum Fun is just docking. The skipper 
doesn’t tie up but sort of cozies against the 
landing, gives it full right rudder and 
tachs the engines. At the restaurant cou 
ter at least one tourist is looking about 
with a wild surmise as the telephone pole 
pilings of the pier sway giddily beneath 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY PAUL HOGARTH ` 


7 


m 


him under the assaults of the Sum Fun. 
Another is wondering if that second bottle 
of Bud could have hit him that hard. 

When the sport fishermen have de- 
barked and dumped their gunny sacks 
of fish into the gasoline-powered cart for 
delivery to the parking lot, a tally is 
run, Today on the half-day and full-day 
boats there were 103 passengers, 80 bass, 
135 barracuda, 161 bonito, 7 yellowtail 
and 28 miscellaneous. The water 
temperature was 70 degrees, high 
tides were at 8:20 am. and 9:90 
P.M, and low tides at 4:15 р.м. 
and 3:12 a.m. Surf conditions 
were green (safe, that is) and wind 
was 18 miles per hour, NNW. 

I pass through the underpass, 
which goes beneath the tracks of 
the Atchison, Topeka & Santa 
Fe. A small metal plaque over 
the tunnel reads, IMPROVED BY 
WPA 1935-36, but it is barely visi- 
ble, having been painted over, as 
though we are a bit ashamed of 
once having had to take help. (It 
is interesting that Mr. Nixon, 
who not long ago rediscovered 
maz. Keynesian deficit spending, 


162 


now come out for Government make-work 
programs. He's rediscovered WPAI Is 
there no end to this man’s insight?) 

A notice on the underpass wall in 
crayon reads: 


Lonely Marines? 

Meet us any Sat. nite at beach en- 
trance 

Drifty and Twinky 


Ah, Drifty! Ah, Twinky! Where are you? 
Hardly a man I know alive has ever 
seen you. 

A reluctant farewell to the pier area. 
Then on to Stan's Snack Shop (Since 
1950), OVER A MILLION CUSTOMERS. Come 


in and Browse. The Resort Motel and 
Apartments. Low Winter Rates. The 
‘Tackle Box. Fresh and Frozen Bait. Kar- 
nival Korner Hot Dogs Umbrellas 
Chips Milk Submarines Pop Cigs—beach- 
town shorthand. 

It's now low tide and good for walk- 
ing, because the tideland is firm to the 
foot. If I keep going south, I can walk 
about a mile and three quarters. There 
is a lot of public beach in San Clemente 
—A4here's another mile the other way. In 
a quarter of a mile 1 will reach the 
overpass, which is a steel pedestrian 
bridge high above the Santa Fe tracks. 
(You can't get to the beach in Clemente 
without crossing the railroad tracks.) 
Тһе overpass beach is where the towns- 
people hang out. (The. pier group is 
mostly weekenders and day-trippers.) An- 
other mile of resolute walking will get 
me to the State Park Beach. Here the 
people are different again, Their skin 
looks unused to the sun. They seem 
to gaze at the ocean as if it were a 
wonder that they see but once a year. 
Nor do they move in the water easily, as 
California young, with their Tanfastic 
bodies, do. There is a great deal of 
picnickery and potato salad and camp- 
fire-blackened weenies and children who 
are tripped out of their minds at this 
great body of water—a sense of mystery 
and union, like returning to their own 
saltgerminal beginnings. And there are 
families. Old-style nonnuclear families. 
With members of all ages, right up to 
Granddad, standing there in his Monkey 
Ward suit trousers and black hightops 


and white shirt with the sleeves rolled 
up and no tie. The makers of Hang Ten 
beach gear haven't made a dent in this 
market. These people all live in the state 
park, which sits atop a fantastically 
wormholed, rain-eroded bluff. There they 
park their Travaleze Trailers and Week- 
N-Der campers and Cruisaire Motor 
Homes and they cook in community kitch- 
ens with the sweet smell of fried potatoes 
and bacon in the morning and the kids 
sleep on the ground in their Sears Dacron 
sleeping bags and this to them is Vaca- 
tionland. 

As I move on, a swarm of heavy 
Marine choppers goes by with their loud 
thwappathwappa and I get a dim con- 
ception of the hunted feeling the Viet- 
namese must know down below. Friend 
or foc. A third of a mile on, there is a 
James Bondish sign staked in the sand: 


NO ADMITTANCE 
NO TRESPASSING 

Cyprus Shore Community Association 
Beach Patrolled 


(The phrase “by armed guards” used to 
follow the word patrolled on the sign, but 
evidently someone decided that it bela- 
bored the obvious and it has been care- 
fully scrubbed off.) 

Up on the «ій, there are guard posts 


and lookout stations. On certain days, 
no boats are allowed within a mile of 
shore and only highborn members of the 
species Surfus Galifornicus (mostly sons 
and daughters of Cyprus people) may 
enter these waters. On these days, there 
is rumored to be an army of plainclothes- 
men up there, backed up with hidden TV 
cameras and uniformed Treasury agents. 
All this interdiction and watch and ward 
comes from the circumstance that locat- 
ed on the palisade is what is popularly 
known as the Western White House— 
vacation home of Dick and Pat and 
Trish and Julie—or the Summer White 
House, if you prefer the legend on a felt 
souvenir pennant selling for 49 cents at 
the local Cornet Store, corner of Del 
Mar and Ola Vista. 

The President and I live in the same 
town. He lives at one end and I live at 
the other. He has to cross the tracks to 
get to the beach, too. And the annoying 
tar that sometimes collects on my feet— 
which some say comes from tankers 
cleaning their tanks offshore—must like- 
wise cling to Chief Executive arches, 
too. The only real difference, 1 suppose, 
is that my junk mail comes to “Resi- 
dent” and his comes to “President,” 
(Nixon, incidentally, literally put San 
Clemente on the map. A lot of the map 


PLAYBOY 


makers used to leave it off their charts, 
even though the town has some 16,000 
people. Since Nixon, however, the town 
is very big at Rand McNally.) 

Well, of course, our living quarters 
are not in the same class. His cost 
$340,000—$100,000 in cash and the re- 
maining $240,000 at seven and a half 
percent interest in five years. Besides a 
large house—which somewhat resembles 
a deconsecrated mission—there are five 
acres of grounds, a swimming pool, a 
four-hole pitch-and-putt golf course (do- 
nated by Orange County citizens, call 
ing themselves, somewhat restrictively, 
Golfing Friends of the President) and 
a view of and access to the Pacific Ocean, 
where the President could catch a few 
sets on his Hobie (a gift from Trish and 
Julie), if he cared about surfing, which 
he doesn't, thereby blowing the entire 
Hang Ten vote of America (0075 per- 
cent). 

"The Nixon Place, as it is now known, 
was formerly the Cotton Estate and is 
located at the very south of town—so far 
south that a good wedge shot would 
literally put you in San Diego County. 
A good wedge shot in moon gravity 
would land on the geodesic dome of one 
of the world's largest nuclear reactors, 
which is two miles south of the Nixons 
at San Onofre. Turn right on the front- 
age road going south alongside the San 
Diego freeway and you come to a guard 
gate that protects the fenced-oft commu- 
nity of Cyprus Shore—and abutting this 
enclaye is the Western White House. 
Outside the gate a sign reads, No SIGHT- 
SEERS BEYOND THIS POINT—with a shift 
space between sight and seers A uni- 
formed guard sits at the gate to rebuff 
surfers, sight-seers, Democrats, Walter 
Hickel, Abbie Hoffman, Weathermen 
and, I suppose, devotees of disagreeable 
religions. For the application for mem- 
bership in the Cyprus Shore Community 
Association has a significant space for 
Religion. The Prez, no doubt, could have 
had himself made an honorary member of 
the association; bur in case he did fill in 
that blank, he probably put Quaker, an 
affiliation that no doubt would make 
Cyprus people happy but has been ru- 
mored to make a lot of peaccloving 
Quakers unhappy. A Cyprus Shore resi- 
dent conspiratorially informed writer Ar- 
nold Hano that the President has “two 
Negroes and an Italian” on his Secret 
Service staff. Of course, the deputy special 
agent in charge of the President's per- 
sonal security is named Arthur Godfrey. 
So, you see, anything is possible 

If the President wants to complain to 
his local Congressman, he'll have to 
write to a member of the John Birch 
Society—Representative John Schmitz of 
the 35th Congressional district. Schmitz 
would consider Nixon a liberal—so you 


164 know where John's head is at. He's 


against just about everything but the pop- 
ulation explosion. He has seven kids. 

The piece of property bought by 
R.M.N. was the estate of Henry Hamil 
ton Cotton, head of a syndicate that liter- 
ally owned the whole town before it was 
built, horse breeder and fancier, onetime 
financial leader of the California Demo- 
cratic Party and warm supporter of 
F. D. R. Nixon is not the first President 
to set foot on the Cotton Estate. H. H. 
Cotton held a ranch barbecue there for 
F.D. R. in the Thirties (where they en- 
joyed beef. beans, watermelon, horse races 
and "lashings of beer"). F.D.R. and 
Henry also played cards in the turretlike 
room that stands in the yard. Cotton de- 
serted Roosevelt when F. D. R. decided to 
run for a third term; he never voted again. 

Meanwhile, downtown in San Cle- 
mente, a somewhat uncomfortablelooking 
policeman is writing out a citation to a 
couple of Krishna Consciousness cats in 
saffron robes and wearing little hand 
chimes. Better nip this mantra thing in 
the bud before it gets out of hand. 


Mari Juana 
Mari Juana 
Juana Juana 
Mari Mazi... . 


“Krishna Consciousness members should 
not necessarily be confused with hip- 
pies? a local paper gravely informs us. 
Siva, Vishnu and Brahma will be relieved 
to hear this. A history of the town says 
that the first Christian baptism in Cali- 
fornia was performed here in 1769—but 
that the Buddhists converted the people 
of the area "13 centuries before the Fran- 
ciscan Padres.” 


Hare Krishna 
Hare Krishna. . . . 


Earlier in the month, a youth was 
arrested for having an “ecology” flag in 
the window of his VW camper. It was a 
dyed-green American flag that he'd 
hung for curtains in the back windows. 
But not all of the hip generation are as 
disconnected as the police here think. The 
kid turns out to be a second cousin of 
the Udall family. 

Meanwhile, over at the Vital Food 
Shop on EI Camino Real, you can buy 
Kik-Nik if you want to break the nico- 
tine, or cigarette, habit and Kik-Lik if 
you want to break the booze habit. 
Things are simple in Grover's Corners 
and here in San Clemente. 

And down at the San Clemente Inn, 
the Jaycees are reciting their creed. 

We believe: 

That faith in God gives meaning and 
purpose to human life. (implying that 
Jefferson, Lincoln, Voltaire, Twain, Ein- 
stein and Madalyn Murray O'Hair had, 
or have, no purpose to their lives.) 

That the brotherhood of man tran- 
scends the sovereignty of nations. (Better 


watch that kind of weirdo talk around 
City Hall.) 

San Clemente was founded in 1925 by 
a Hispanophile Norwegian named Ole 
Hanson, Ole laid out what Lewis Mum- 
ford would call a Cartesian town— 
planned from the first brick, “the kind 
of external order that can be achieved 
by a single mind, like that of a Baroque 
prince.” Ole favored handmade red-tile 
roofs and white-stucco walls to give his 
village a sort of spurious Spanish-Moorish 
flavor, and he inserted this and other 
specs in each sales agreement for a lot. 
He bought the Rancho Los Desechos 
tract from his friend Henry Cotton, 
planned the winding streets that follow 
the natural contour of the hills (the 
Anglo terms street and avenue were re- 
placed by calle and avenida), organized 
sales jamborees to sell the lots, with 
prospects carted in from L. A. and fed at 
his expense, and built and donated to 
the town, without bonded indebtedness, 
a hospital, a community center and a 
school. In short, he made a town for 
himself. Whenever some individualist 
deviated from Ole's "dress code,” he 
moved right in with workmen and re- 
stored the place to uniformity. (That's 
the way they did it in those days.) 

Ole Hanson was one of those restless, 
westering, sublimated builders and doers 
who were the pattern heroes of the late 
19th and early 20th centuries. From the 
Midwest he found his way to Seattle and 
in 1918 ran for mayor and won. As 
mayor, he called in Federal troops to 
put down a general strike. In the fash- 
ion of the times, he wrote a book called 
Americanism Versus Bolshevism, pre- 
senting his own little kitchen debate 
against the LW. W. In 1920, at the Re- 
publican Convention in Chicago, he was 
an almost-candidate for the Presidential 
nomination and then the Vice-Presiden- 
tial spot. He lost the Presidency to 
Harding and the V.P. spot to Cool- 
idge. He left Seattle and finally ended 
up in the deserts of Southern California, 
where he helped develop a town he called 
Twenty-Nine Palms. That was too good a 
title for Vine Street to resist, and the 
song Twenty-Nine Palms made the charts 
in the Forties. 

He died in 1940, and shortly after, the 
Bank of America, which by now owned 
a lot of local property and wanted to make 
it more salable, got Ole's architectural 
covenants nulled. A small irony is that 
Spanish-style houses—complete with red- 
tile roofs—are in vogue around here 
again. In the Thirties, when the Bank 
of America was delinquent on its taxes, 
Ole had the mayor order all the street- 
lights shut off at night. The bank held 
out for a few days, but, fearing it was 
vulnerable to a heist, had to capitulate. 

In April of 1970, in the predawn 


Lm all 
Sarl. 


“Think of all the years we wasted just swapping presents.” 


165 


PLAYBOY 


166 


hours, a ghostly figure threw a fire bomb 
through the window of the Bank of 
America on El Camino Real. It went 
out quickly in the damp coastal air. The 
sound of an automobile engine was 
heard racing away. One unidentified res 
ident said the engine sounded to him 
exactly like a 1928 Packard. 

The news that the President would 
become a resident sent a tremor through 
the town that was almost undetectable on 
the Richter scale. Police Chief Murray 
later said, “When it was first announced 
that the President would buy a house 
here, the attitude was, ‘So what?" " Nixon 
first visited here in March 1969, and 
when nobody turned out to bid him wel- 
come, the chamber of commerce became 
alarmed. As Arnold Hano wrote in the 
Los Angeles Times: “H's one thing to 
allow the newcomer his privacy, but it's 
another to cold-shoulder him.” 

On Nixon's next visit, the city 
scrounged up a cool hundred bucks to 
finance a gala reception at the Coast 
Guard copter pad next to Nixon's Place. 
This time the organizers got out the 
vote by phone and prudently saw that 
school was let out. Several hundred 
people showed up. But the indifference 
is not the only problem here. Some 
Cyprus Shore people are getting a bit 
waspish about their semibucolic en- 
dave being turned into an armed and 
occupied city three or four times a year. 
It’s probably a little rough to go to the 
Alpha Beta for some hamburger buns 
and then feel like you might get frisked 
before you make it to your driveway. 
The fact that all this is for the President 
—even one who a member of an 
approved  religion—probably doesn't 
make it go down much easier. Nor is the 
fact that the President talks about may 
be building the Nixon Museum/Library 
here to house his Presidential papers 
looked upon with gusto by locals. It's all 
right to have a Middle American in the 
Western White House, but the thought of 
thousands of them boring throu 
in Gray Lines buses turns the natives off. 
You see, from the beginning, the city was 
cried up by its promoters as being exactly 


h town 


tance to local misanthropes is that 
one town is just as far away as the other. 

The President's imminent arrival is 
usually foretold by Secret Servicemen 
stocking up on Macadamia-nut ice cream 
(a Nixon favorite) at the local Alpha 
Beta. Since this Executive predilection 
was revealed, demand for Macadamia- 
nut ice cream has gone up incredibly 
at the store. The President even drops 
a little of his own money into the 
local economy. He strode into the Bay 
Cities Hardware and purchased three 
beach balls from Claudia Nelson, who 


later excitedly and rather left-handediy 
complimented him by saying he had 
“the softest hands I've ever touched.” 
There are other econaı benefits. The 
San Clemente Inn now runs at nearly full 
capacity and there are ten more police 
officers in town, costing $102,000 and 
paid for by the Federal Government. 

le, in September 1970, unem- 
ployment in Orange County reached 7.4 
percent of the labor force and the place 
was declared a “substantial unemploy- 
ment area” by the Labor Department. 

Even the most modest attempt to cash 
in on the Presidential presence seems to 
run into trouble. The city council want- 
ed to put up a sign on the freeway 
reading, HOME OF THE WESTERN WHITE 
HoUsE, but the state, which controls the 
freeway, nixed it as a traffic hazard. 
(The sign was later placed south of 
town.) It was then suggested that the 
frontage road near the Nixon Place, Via 
de Frente, be changed to Avenida del 
Presidente, Residents of the street were 
polled and it turned out a majority were 
against changing the name. The city 
council then voted four to one to “enact 
procedures” to bring about the change, 
but there may be a public hearing on 
the matter. (There was, but nobody 
showed up and the street name has now 
been changed.) 

One day about a ycar ago, a sign 
appeared at the Summer White House 
gate: LA CASA PACIFICA. Somcone inter- 
preted this as The House of Peace, but 
apparently the President, who likes to 
remind us that he's a peace loving Quak- 
er, found this a bit much. One of those 
ubiquitous Teutons on the President's 
staff informed the papers that it really 
means The Peaceful House. 


Out at the high school, they have 
had trouble with—what else?—the dress 
code, (There is no cure for the common 
code.) A couple of years ago, 346 barber- 
shops were closed down in Los Angeles 
County, and they're not going to let it 
happen here. A local resident beefed 
to the school board that the predom- 
ntly student committee that set up 
the dress code was “unrepresentative of 
the community” and that “these kind 
of commitrees are influenced largely by 
people who favor left-wing causes, riots, 
narcotics traffic, sex education and the 
American Civil Liberties Union.” The 
school board not long ago found The Con- 
fessions of Nat Turner unsuitable read- 
ing for the high school students. No 
one could be found on the board who 
had read the book—indicating that the 
board must have found it unsuitable 
reading for itself. (Down at the public 
library, however, you can check out a 
copy of rLAysoy—that is, if it's still 
there. The librarian says that PLAYBOY 
keeps getting stolen.) 


in: 


A few years ago, the vice-principal at 
the high school decided that dopers could 
be spotted by their vocabulary. He put 
out a classified list of terms and phrases. 
the use of which should bring suspicion 
upon the user, and circulated it among 
the teachers, Unfortunately, the glossary 
was leaked to the press, thus affording us 
these gems, selected passim: 


BIG JOHN: Police 

ceorce: OK, all right, he's George 

croovY: Expression used by people 
high on drugs 

ESTABLISHMENT: Organized society as 
we know it today, which hippies 
seek to destroy 

KARMA: Fate, force generated by a 
person's actions that he is held to 
in Buddhism and Hinduism 

NIRVANA; State of freedom from 
Karma 

provos: Group that helped the hip- 
pies. Their aim is to demolish the 
world. 

cor-ouT: Alibi, confess 

ADDED TERMS: Reader, Sansara, Up- 
tight, Vibration 


Teachers were instructed: "If you 
hear these words being used in your 
classroom by students, please inform the 
office as to who they are and we can put 
a close check on them. 

The class of 1970's gift was a peace 
symbol laid out in the ground surround- 
ing the campus sundial. A local lady 
(Another Mother for War?) protested 
to the school board that they “might be 
defacing public property.” She went on: 
"I object to it because it is being used 
by the revolutionaries in our country.” 
Someone pointed out that the peace 
symbol was an “ancient symbol of evil 
and antichrist,” but he didn't reckon 
th the annoying habit kids have of 
informing themselves these days. The 
students pointed out that the figure in 
the circle stands for nuclear disarma- 
ment in Navy semaphore and has come 
to symbolize peace. The board sustained 
the symbol as being nonsubversive. 

Well, things are not much different 
here in Grover's Cor— Oops, San Cle- 
mente than anywhere else, Little hassles 
about sex edjeekashun. Feller named 
Curtis, member of the local Birchers, 
says these here family-life films teach 
masturbashun is OK. Says that's against 
Cathlick doctrine. Didn't say what Cath- 
lick doctrine had to do with public 
schools. But the bored of ed agreed and 
voted down the films. Kids around here 
grow up just like other kids, with lots of 
cavities in their teeth. Birchers and their 
"fellow travelers" always defeat any at- 
tempt to put sodium fluorides in the 
water. Dentists do grate here. 

Meanwhile, down by Plaza Park, a 

(continued on page 214) 


CONFESSIONS 
OF A CORPORATE 
HEAD HUNTER 


how the sought-after executive 
can make sure there are no land 
mines tn those greener pastures 


article BJ ALLEN CÛ As an ex 


ecutive recruiter, | often know where 
exciting jobs paying upwards of $50,000 
are for the taking. 1 know the corpora 
tions thal are searching for the executive 
1 know the best way to impress age 
ment and 1 usually know if it's in a 
candidate’s best interest 10 accept an 
offer. Superficially, these attainments 
make me an attractive person to know. 
Were it not for the fact that the pro- 
fession 1 practice is probably the most 
opportunistic, cynical, defensive and 
mampulative of the corporate service 
industries, I would humbly agree with 
such an assessment: 

In order to do my job well, however, 1 
have to create the impression that I am 
working wholeheartedly on behalf of 
people whose interests arc, in fact, often 
inimical. The president of a specialty 
chemicals company, for example, hired 
me and my firm to find a national sales 
manager to boost his corporation's flag- 
ging profits Upon investigation of the 


PLAYBOY 


company, including interviews with all 
its executives, it became obvious that 
what was needed was not a sales manag- 
er but a top marketing man working in 
conjunction with a research-and.develop- 
ment program that would produce a 
better product line. My client irrational- 
ly resisted our findings: “I can imagine 
who it was who gave you that kind of 
advice.” he began. "I've got a perfectly 
good marketresearch staff. My success 
for 25 years in this business has been 
due in large measure to ignoring advice 
at key moments. I don’t want some 
hotshot coming in here and endanger- 
ing our team morale.” 

It soon became apparent that what 
the man really wanted was a weak sister 
who would put in long hours, get along 
with the rest of the boys and not really 
accomplish a thing. And yet despite his 
garbled arguments against my efforts, he 
still thought he was going to find a sales 
manager who would turn the company 
around—and kept insisting that he could 
hire only the best possible man. When 
I'm dealing with first-rate clients who 
are honestly trying to hire the best—the 
superstars of their industries—there's a 
tacit understanding that we won't waste 
our time on anything less than the best 
and that we'll have to pay dearly in 
salary and benefits. These searches may 
be arduous, but at least they're above- 
board and fascinating. It never seems to 
fail, however, that when I'm dealing 
with self-deluders, with second-rate man- 
agers trying to solve essential problems 
by making superficial changes in man- 
agement, I'm bombarded with reminders. 
that only the best executives will serve 
their needs. 

Picture the scene, therefore, as I sit 
staring at our chemicals executive—the 
sincerity of my rep tie, the firmness of 
my squared jaw, the responsibility im- 
plicd by my blue suit and poised note 
pad all assuring my client that I believe 
every word he's saying, while behind the 
facade 1 realize that to satisfy him I 
shall have to deceive him and that to 
win the confidence of my candidate I 
shall have to praise him for weaknesses 
that will make him perfect for the job. 
I was able to find a man rather easily, 
incidentally, but it was an unhappy 
business—priming the client to envision 
the candidate as a dynamo when 1 knew 
that he was no dynamo at all and that, 
in fact, a dynamo was the last thing in 
the world the client wanted. 

When my client is a knowledgeable, 
hard-nosed business executive with a 
corporate problem that demands out- 
standing, experienced personnel, my 
task can be technically difficult: I may 
have to interview many candidates; I 
may have to write hundreds of letters, 
ask for leads from all my contacts, run 
complicated and expensive computer 


168 programs, coordinate my findings with 


the impression my men make on my 
dient, travel throughout the world. These 
superstar searches test our mettle, but 
they never involve us in deceiving the 
candidate. 

H a candidate is the right man for the 
job, he's usually not in the job market. 
Let me stress that, because one of the 
biggest mistakes a man can make in an 
interview with me is to show that he 
actively wants the job I'm describing. If 
I seem to be saying something as ob- 
vious as “Play hard to get, so the recruit- 
er will think your present employer 
loves you,” that’s only a small part of my 
advice. Candidates almost always forget 
that a head hunter's first responsibility is 
to his corporate client and that it may 
be in the clients best interest not to 
hire them. The man whose strongest pitch 
is that he “really” wants the job is show- 
ing an inadequate sense of the priorities 
of our meeting. The cagey candidate will 
spend most of his time trying to find out 
what the clients problem is, giving the 
pression that understanding the cor- 
porate problem is his first concern. Only 
after this professional and coolsceming 
examination of the objective reasons for 
the interview should a candidate even 
hint that he might be interested. And ifhe 
has shown an astute understanding of 
the client's needs, his silence will usually 
draw the head-hunter into becoming the 
suitor. In the executive-search business, 
it’s a lot better to be pitched to than to 
be pitching. 

Too few executives rea that the 
head-hunter may have sought them out 
for reasons quite apart from trying to 
find them a job. For example, I may be 
looking for an unattractive character 
to parade before my dient to make 
another man appear more attractive by 
contrast. I may be adding yet another 
name to my list because some of my 
clients think I'm performing well only 
when I march hordes of candidates, 
good and bad, before them. And, most 
subtly of all, 1 may want to produce for 
my client just the man he has specified, 
so that when it comes to making the 
expensive decision to hire him, the cli- 
ent will be forced at last to see that he 
had misinterpreted his corporate problem 
in the first place. 

The only candidates who need fear 
these devices are those who want a job 
either for which they are not qualified 
or in which they would not be happy. 
And such men are usually not the most 
skilled nor personable, Although I do 
remember one candidate who wanted a 
job he knew he would despise and for 
which he admitted he was overquali- 
fied; and not only did he make these ad- 
missions but I recommended him for the 
$55,000-a-year post he subsequently got. 

In this particular case, the job re: 
quired writing talent along with mana- 


gerial know-how, and while the salary 
was high, the job involved tedious minu- 
tiae, was a tawdry promotional cam- 
paign for a tawdry line of products and 
was surrounded by managers with whom 
my candidace would not get along. Were 
a man to have the right qu; 
for the job, he would not. all likeli- 
hood, have the stomach for it. I quickly 
figured out that I would be filling a job 
likely to become vacant in a relatively 
short time—either because the candidate 
became dissatisfied and looked elsewhere 
or because my client became dissatisfied 
with the halfhearted, grudgingly be- 
stowed efforts of the new man. 

The reason it worked out perfectly for 
all concerned was that both client and 
candidate were out to screw each other. 
My dient wanted top talent to iron out 
the problems in his organization, so that 
he could hire less expensive help to do 
the job made possible by his shortlived 
superstar. I'm convinced he intended to 
fire his new man the moment things had 
been put back in working order. On the 
other side, my candidate wanted a quick 
bank roll and a prestigious step up the 
corporate ladder. He intended to start 
looking for another job the day he was 
hired. I had found the right fink for the 
right rat. I also collected my fee. 

Let me retum to my observation that 
it's the wise candidate who appears not to 
be in the job market. An intelligent 
man doing an excellent job should be 
content with both the kind of work he's 
asked to do and the amount he's paid 
for doing it. You and 1 know, however, 
that in an imperfect world virtue often 
goes unrewarded and a genuinely splen- 
did employee may be getting short shrift 
from management. (A candidate should 
never admit this, however, because in the 
Calvinistic world of the corporation the 
disparity between virtue and reward is 
less likely to be read as injustice than as 
just deserts.) 

An executive must remember that a re- 
cruiter is more likely to be impressed by 
his curiosity about the job and the com- 
pany than by whatever the man has to 
say about himself. If the recruiter asks 
why the candidate is interested in the 
job under discussion, the candidate 
should parry by asking why the recruiter 
is interested in him, The candidate 
should give the impression that the re- 
cruiter's first task is to convince him, the 
man for whom he is buying an overly 
expensive, mediocre lunch, that there is 
something worth the candidate's time to 
listen to and that only when the candi- 
date is convinced that he has been 
brought into the confidence of the re- 
cruiter will he speak candidly about 
himself. 

‘The candidate must not be reluctant 
to ask blunt and seemingly indelicate 
questions. After all, it’s his career that's 
at stake and he’s the one who has to 

(concluded on page 171) 


VARGAS GIRL 


“Sorry, but I already gave at the office.” 


man at his leisure 


playboy’s roving artist, leroy neiman, appraises 
the august precincts of the world-famed auction house 


Sotheby's is a London landmark. Its 18th Century Augustan- 
style building on New Bond Street headquarters the oldest 
continuous art and literary auctioncers in the world. Since 
its founding in 1774, Sotheby's has managed to attract the 
art and money elite of Europe by offering old masters’ paint- 
ings, drawings and sculpture, antique books, icons, jew- E 


els, tapestries and, relatively recently, vintage automobiles, 
arms, clocks, watches and works by Continental impressionists, British moderns and even American primitives. “The 
main auction room,” says Neiman, “was once the studio of the 19th Century artist and illustrator Gustave Dore. The 
auctioneer and, since 1958, chairman of Sotheby's is Peter Wilson, whose low-key outery is the only sound in the other- 
wise hushed room. During an auction, bids are made by gesture only, and it’s as solemn as a High Mass at St. Peter's. 
But the bidding is merely the climax of a long drama. First, there's the organization of the sale, which is often as com- 
plicated and chancy as handicapping horses. Wilson and his assistants, magisterial as British barristers, select the art- 
works to be auctioned from among those stored in Sotheby's immense dungeonlike basement. Certain pieces when 
sold together create a public wave and, as any Sotheby's expert will attest, momentum conceived and sustained prior 
to a sale is indispensable for a successful turnout. Strolling through the basement is really like walking through time. 


Here, stored with loving care, stand magnificent examples of almost every artistic style, from Rubens to Duchamp, 
from classicism to abstraction. Also in the basement are Sotheby's experts, who can tell you almost anything about 


any piece, down to where and precisely when it was originally created. Formerly the wine cellar of a spirits mer- 


chant, the basement, with its low-flung stone arches, is equipped with a fire-prevention system unparalleled for its 
sensitivity. And with good reason, since Sotheby's has sold the libraries and collections of such luminaries as Napoleon 
and Talleyrand. Often, though, many of its best-remembered sales are of seemingly worthless effects people bring in 
for free appraisal. One story concerns an elderly gent who asked a director if a picture wrapped in a brown paper 
ting, the director exclaimed, ‘Good heavens, sir, you have an early 


bag was worth a ‘fiver.’ Upon examining the pa 
Samuel Palmer.” The man replied, ‘I know, but is it worth a fiver?’ The picture returned £5600, which probably 


proves that some people never know when they have something of value. Obviously, that doesn't apply to Sotheby's. 


In the great chandeliered auction room at Sothe- 
by's (gatefold), auctioneer Peter Wilson onswers 
bids for the paintings to his reor. Neiman's 
collage features reproductions of the following 
works (not shown to scale), from left to right: 
Degas's Donseuse Rose, which sold for £34,000; 
Picasso's Les Adieux du Pêcheur, which fetched 
£52,000; on oil by Gustave Moreau, Vénus Sor- 
tont de l'Onde, which brought £22,000; Modi- 
gliani’s Portrait de Jeune Femme, knocked down 
for £22,500; ond Renoir's Aprés le Bain (held 
by ottendants), which went for £15,500. Left: 
Against a backdrop of on 18th Century portrait 
of Madome de Pompadour, o Picasso nude and 
severol reproductions of Hellenistic sculpture, 
two well-turned-out misses ore gingerly guided 
through Sotheby's bosement by on an deoler 
during on advance showing of works that are 
scheduled to be offered of an upcoming sole. 
Top: A 19th Century londscape due to go on the 
the focus of interest for one young lady 
in turn, of interest to the gent at her left. 


173 


PLAYBOY 


CORPORATE HEAD HUNTER 


protect it. The recruiter can find anoth- 
er candidate more easily than he can 
find another client. In a head-hunter 
interview, valor is the better part of 
disaetion. Here is a list of some of the 
boorish thrusts with which you ought to 
challenge head-hunters like me: 

1. If this job is so hot, how come your 
dient had to hire an expensive execu- 
tive-recruiument firm to fill i? 

2. Describe the character of your cli. 
ent. What kind of man docs it take to 
get along with him? 

3. Why did the last guy leave? 

4. Does your dient want excellence or 
something less? 

5. How much is he offering? And, 
since it's not enough, how much will he 
raise his offer and spice it with benefits? 

6 How did you get my name? If you 
got it from someone who knows me and 
whom 1 respect, I'm impressed. If you 
got it out of a computer run or through 
some corporate gossip, you'll obviously 
have to spend a lot of my valuable time 
verifying my qualifications. If I were as 
badly prepared as you are, you wouldn't 
even interview me. 

7. How much do you know about the 
kind of work I do? If not a lot, how can 
you judge me? 

8. How much does your opinion of 
me count with your client? If not a lot, 
when do I meet him? 

9. Are you aware that if this conversa- 
tion isn't kept confidential, ГИ kill you? 

The dient would like the candi 
to believe that job opportunities are in 
a sellers market; the candidate wants 
the client to believe his services are in a 
buyers’ market. Smart people on both 
sides will maintain t 
job is to mediate, 
and, happily, by doing so, myself, 

"Though a large portion of the educa- 
tion of a recruiter involves learning 
about the way human beings behave un- 
der stress, there is a more substantive 
area of knowledge in which all success- 
ful recruiters become expert. It is so 
obvious that it’s easy to leave unno- 
ticed, and that is the knowledge of the 
intimate workings of major American 
corporations. 

No other group of people is as likely 
to know as much about the nitty-gritty 
of American corporate life as are ex- 
cellent executive recruiters. Corporate 
rectuiters are in business because corpo- 
rations have problems, and the best way 
to understand an intricate mechanism is 
to watch it malfunction. Just as all our 
knowledge of the human organism is a 
result of studies done to identify pathol- 
ogies, the business expertise of the cor 
porate recruiter comes from his constant 
acquaintance with the failures and dis 
appointments of partially or wholly dis- 


174 cased organizations. If it weren't for our 


(continued from page 168) 

ailments, there would be no science of 
medi and where better to find out 
about the married state than in a di- 
vorce court? 

As 1 have already mentioned, our 
clients often are too timid or too stupid 
to want an accurate assessment of their 
problems, but when they are honest and 
intelligent, th candid description of 
what's wrong with their operation makes 
us privy to the most intimate details of 
American corporate life. And from this 
intimate association with the essential 
problems of the corporation, 1 can offer 


these renderings of some of America’s 
major industries: 
Automotive: Crude; oriented to an 


ultimate market and distribution system 
that is crude—car hawkers, new and 
used, and abysmal servicemen. 

Hotel and restaurant: With few ex- 
ceptions, little professional management 
—hacl 

Entertainment: Worse than the hotel 
and restaurant industry. 

Forest products: Highly oriented to 
property holdings in Northwest and 
Southeast; low paying; talented people 
find it easy to be noticed and appreciated. 
Depreciation from their vast real-estate 
holdings helps their earnings picture and 
leads one to believe they are better man- 
aged than they are. “Back to the land” 
characterizes their management style. 

Electronics: Fast-paced, technical and 
highly competitive (as in the semicon- 
ductor business), these people have to 
be good—and are. 

Machine-tool and related capital equip- 
ment: Inarticulate and unfriendly; an 
industry of grunters, very dull. 

Management consulting: Very staff ori- 
ented, lacking decision makers—compa- 
nies poorly organized, with high turnover. 
They tell clients what they already know 
in words they can't understand. 

Computers: Many marginal but highly 
overpaid people in this industry; because 
computers are the new panacea and be- 
cause practitioners speak their own lan- 
guage and don't believe in interpreters, 
we assume they're geniuses; someday soon 
we'll find them out. 

Chemical: Technical types, obviously; 
introverted; more concerned with pro- 
duction processes than with marketing. 
A friend in the chemical business says 
the prevailing attitude is: “Look at our 
beautiful, huge new plant; we don't 
know how we'll sell its output, but we 
sure do make it cheap. 

Banking: A surprisingly swinging 
group, especially the commercial-loan 
officers in major cities; still frumpy here 
and there, but coming on strong. 

Construction equipment: Also some- 
what crude, but exciting people—used 
to big dollars in investment, inventory, 
product development and attendant risk 


in selling to a fragmented, up-and-down 
industry—construction; also technical— 
a mechanical product requiring great 
engineering sophistication and solid re- 
search. 

Publishing: Particularly book publish- 
ing, unbelievably sluggish, insular, out 
moded, provincial (too tied to New York), 


overpopulated with polite, mediocre 
people and companies. 
Advertising: Though deserving of 


some of its criticism and populated with 
its share of out-and-out phonies, 
the whole, unjustly maligned; many 
ing people; a more creativ 
imaginative group than in publishing— 
the stereotypes in plays, novels and mov- 
ies are boring and ludicrous. They are 
good, positive cynics; remember, their 
clients aren't always prizes. 

Consumer durables: Such as TV, hi-fi, 
electric organs, white goods and various 
appliances; good merchandisers or they 
couldn't survive, but crude in a man- 
ner similar to those in the automotive 
industry. 

Retailing (including supermarkets): 
Expects its managers to work 70 hours a 
week for coolie wages—what caliber of 
people do you think that attracts? 

Railroads: “Though astronaut Wally 
Schirra reminds us that we all need 
them, the Penn Central debacle reminds 
us: How unfortunate. 

Airlines: Railroads in the sk! 

Consumer packaged goods: Allround 
most talented, most articulate, most in- 
telligent, most extroverted and best-paid 
managements 

‘The executive head-hunter is some sort 
of hybrid between a fiduciary and а 
cardsharp. In his most responsible role, 
he's authorized to analyze the crucial ills 
of American business life and find the 
men most capable of remedying them. 
This trust is bestowed on him by highly 
paid corporate executives who recognize 
that problems have gone beyond their 
capacity to handle them and have the 
good sense to delegate authority to trust. 
worthy management experts. In 
most Machiavellian role, he's a mediator 
between executives who don't under- 
stand their problems and job can 
who don't care what the job is as long as 
there's a quick buck to be made. 

Without a strong streak of irony, the 
head-hunter is a dullard unprepared 10 
distinguish between those who deserve 
to be handled like the fools or mediocri- 
ties they are and those who deserve his 
most expert judgment and most candid 
emotions. In dealing with me and my 
colleagues, whether you're a corporate 
manager or a man looking for a job, 
your best assurance of good treatment is 
to know your own mind. You can be 
sure that the man sitting across the table 
from you knows his. 


his 


lates 


Plaubous 
PI у jet 
Меш 


a portfolio of the past delightful dozen 


ONE OF THE BEST THINGS about the arrival of a 
new year is the excuse it affords us to look 
back leisurely at the old one. For PLAYBOY, 
January signals a revisit with the centerfold 
girls of the preceding twelvemonth. In 1971, 
a goodly number of our Playmates were 
Bunnies; many had their eyes on the stars. 
Herewith, a report on what they're doing now. 


MISS JANUARY 


Liv lindeland: Our talented 
Norwegian import {opposite 
page) is in demand for films 
(The Marriage of a Young Stock- 
broker, Evel Knievel), video (The 
Odd Couple, Lough-In] and the 
stage (Morriage-Go-Round, in 
El Paso's Marquee Theater). 
She's also made loads of 
personal appearances; one 
highlight was riding on a 
water-borne float in the San 
Antonio Fiesta River Parade. 
Liv is especially proud of the Liv 
Lindeland Club formed by a 
group of soldiers in Vietnam. 


MISS MARCH 


Cynthia Hall: When last we 
visited Cynthia, she'd just re 
turned from a trip to Dart- 
mouth and was considering 
moving to New England. We're 
happy to report that the Mid- 
west won out in her affections, 
and Cynthia is still working as 
a Bunny at our Lake Geneva, 
| Wisconsin, Playboy Club-Hotel. 
On her days off, she goes boat- 
ing—over water in the summer, 
ice in the winter; some months 
ago, she spent a week's va- 
cation participating in c re- 
gional sailing regatta in lowa. 177 


MISS APRIL 


Chris Cranston: She and a girlfriend 
did buy that van Chris was hoping for 
and lived in it on the island of Kauai 
until early fall—when Chris moved 
back to California. "We had a real 
nature trip,” she reports. "It was the 
perfect way to get away from the rat- 
race of modeling. But now I'm ready 


to get back to work Stateside. What 
I'd truly like to do is learn to become 
an animal trainer." Since her Playmate 
gatefold, Chris has heard from hun- 
dreds of old acquaintances, ranging 
from former fifth-grade classmates to 
Gls she had met on her U. 5. ©. trip to 
isolated military outposts in Vietnam, 


MISS SEPTEMBER 


Crystal Smith: Well into her senior year 
at Kansas State University in Manhat- 
tan, Crystal still teaches ballet twice a 
week to prospective Pavlovas. Their 


tuition payments, plus the nest egg she 


was able to put aside by working as a 
Kansas City Playboy Club Bunny last 
summer, will help see her through to a 


degree in radio and television, with a 
minor in music. Then it's off to Holly- 
wood, where she hopes her education 
and experience—as a Radio City Mu- 
sic Hall Rockette and as a performer 
in college productions from Little 
Mary Sunshine to La Traviota—will 
give her a boost up the TV ladder. 


179 


MISS OCTOBER 


Claire Rambeau: After moving 


to London, Claire (opposite 
page) explored more of Europe. 
"| was in and out of Heathrow 
Airport 14 times within a few 
months,” she says. “I visited 
St-Tropez and Monte Carlo 
and even sailed around the 
Mediterranean in a rocing 
schooner." Now back in Los 
Angeles, Claire philosophizes: 
"I've gone through all my teen- 
age changes and I've had my 
Big Experience, so now | think 
it's time to do something with 
myself as a professional model." 


MISS JUNE 


Lieko English: Life has taken 
an upward turn for Lieko—all 
the way into jet-stream alii 
tudes. Our Japanese-American 
Playmate-Bunny has just com- 
pleted training as one of Hugh 
Hefner's airborne hostesses on 
his private jet, the DC-9 Big 
Bunny. (She's joining a pair of 
Playmates who are already Jet 
Bunnies—Avis Miller, Miss No- 
vember 1970, and Gwen Lips- 
comb, Miss April 1967.) When 
not pampering Big Bunny pas- 
sengers, she'll be a stellar 


attraction at the Chicago Club. 


181 


MISS JULY 


Heather Van Every: She now lives in 
suburban Aurora, Colorado, but Heath- 
ers Denver-based life style is little 
changed. Though the foothills are 
building up fast, there are still plenty 
of Rocky Mountain wide-open spaces 
in which she can pursue her habbies 
of skiing, trail biking, fishing, comping 


and riding horses. She's lost track of 
how many minibike clubs, their mem- 
bers’ enthusiasm fired by her picto- 
ricl in PLAYBOY, have asked if Bunny 
Heather would consen! to be their 
mascot, “1 guess I’m basically an 
outdoor girl," she says, "but I en- 
joy painting and wood carving, too. 


MISS FEBRUARY 


Willy Rey: “1 feel almost as if | need 
an agent just to field all the requests 
1 get for personal appearances," Willy 
told us after her gatefold came out. 
"Here in British Columbia, a Playmate 
is a real rarity, and l'm something of a 
celebrity. The reaction in Vancouver 
has been totally favorable to Playmates 


and PLAYBOY in general," she says. Willy 
has done an 18-hour telerhon—a bene- 
fit for retarded children, with George 
Maharis, Leonard Nimay and other 
stars—and a pilot film for the CBC 
television network on national sex 
symbols. In her limited spare time, 


Willy's taking creative-dancing lessons. 183 


MISS NOVEMBER 


Danielle de Vabre: A fantastic 
vacation was one bonus for our 
French-Canadian Bunny and 
skiing teacher (opposite page), 
who spent her Playmate earn- 
ings touring Europe. "As | ex- 
pected, | fell in love with the 
Scandinavian countries," she 
reports. "A fellow ski enthusiast 
has talked me into moving 
there next season.” Now back 
in Colorado for this winter's 
schussing, Danielle is also pur- 
suing another hobby: chess. 
While traveling for PLAYEOY, 
she carries c folding board. 


Vt Vite. 
fa ms y $ 


MISS AUGUST 


Cathy Rowland: Several of 
fers from record companies 
have resulted from Cathy's 
Playmate story, which pictured 
her making her first demonstra- 
tion tape. “But I've decided | 
want my first album to be real- 
ly me,” says our aspiring song- 
stress. "So a friend and I are 
writing our own music. It will 
take longer than if 1 sang 
somebody else’s standard stuff, 
but I'm convinced it will pay 
ofi" Cathy has received hun- 
dreds of fan letters, many of 
them containing original songs. 185 


MISS MAY 


Jonice Pennington: You'll be seeing 
Jonice on nearly every Laugh-In epi- 
sode this season. “Mostly, I'm in the 
cocktail-party scenes—sometimes 
doing bits with Dick Martin,” she re- 


ports. "Then I've been in lots of com- 
mercials—for Twice os Nice, Dubonnet, 
London Fog raincoats, Kraft Italian 


dressing and so on.” Most recently, 
Janice has been shooting a vampire 
film on location in the—honest Injun— 
ghost town of Jerome, Arizona. "I^ 
enjoyed representing PLAYBOY on tour: 
she told us. “As a Playmate, I've been 
asked to be guest of honor at special 
events from Oregon east to Ohi 


MISS DECEMBER 


Karen Christy: Only one month has 
passed since our December gate- 
fold girl appeared in pLavscy—but 
already her modeling career has 
grown to such proportions that she's 
had to drop her Bunny duties at the 
Chicago Club and concentrate on 
building her portfolio. Karen's still a 


popular resident of the Playboy 
Mansion, but she plans a brief trip 
home to Texas to spend the holiday 
season with members of her family. 
Then she hopes it will be back to 
school, most likely at The Art Insti- 
tute of Chicago, to pick up her for- 
mal education in commercial art. 


PLAYBOY 


188 


PLAYBOY CAR STABLE 


365 GTB/4, the Daytona. Calling this 
vehide a GT is probably an understate- 
ment of some dimension, because it is a 
motorcar of awesome power, one of the 
fastest road cars we have yet seen, fast 
enough to be taken direct from the 
dealership to the race circuit with per- 
fect confidence. Luigi Chinetti, Jr, and 
Bob Grossman did just that, running a 
Daytona in the 24-hour race at Le Mans 
in 1971 and bringing it in fifth overall. 
We have here a $24,000 two-passenger 
fastback coupe by Pininfarina /Scaglietti 
mounting a 12-cylinder, four-camshaft, 
405-hp engine, five-speed transmi 
and lLinch power disk brakes. 
speedometer reads to 180 mph, and the 
needle will go there. Bill Harrah told 
me he thinks the Daytona thc strongest 
automobile he's ever touched, a state- 
ment of some weight when one thinks of 
the hundreds of cars he’s handled down 
the years. I found driving it a stunning 
experience, out of range of anything I 
could recall. The thing doesn't feel like 
an automobile: It's a locomotive. I took 
it out on a lamentably rainy Sunday 
morning in Reno. l'd been driving a 
good 275 Ferrari daily for two weeks, 
but I can't say that was any real prepa- 
m for the Daytona, which will do 
85 in second and get to 100 in the 
12 seconds some fas motorcars take to 
reach 60. The sheer pull of the engine 
straight up to 7500 rpm is fabulous, and. 
for the first few miles there is a soul 
stirring conviction, every time one shifts, 
that the thing is running away, in some- 
one else's control, like a moon rocket. I 
never came near the honest 173 mph the 
same car had done in other hands. At 
135 1 convinced myself—it didn't take 
much doing—that the steady rainfall in- 
terdicted a higher speed in a $24,000 
motorcar lent, and voluntarily at that, 
by a friend. In any case, this is a car 
that demands respect—and, for an al- 
ready wellschooled driver, about 250 


rati 


the Daytona's shattering capa- 
bilities in the maximum ranges obvious- 
ly qualify it as a race car, it still is a 
tourer: It idles without argument at 
600-700 rpm, and in fifth gear it can be 
backed off to a neat and steady 40 mph. 
It doesn't foul plugs, it doesn't overheat 
in traffic, it’s comfortable, there's more 
than adequate luggage space for a 
month's travel and its cyegrabbing good 
looks guarantee firstcabin reception 
wherever it stops, from filling station to 
the porte-cochere of the Beverly Hills 
Hotel. Characteristically, the frill fea- 
tures—air conditioning, electric win- 
dows, and so on—perform dimly. 1 say 
characteristically because 1 can recall the 
same faults in other Ferraris. I remem- 


(continued from page 90) 


ber one with 6000 miles on the odome- 
ter, the driver’s window stuck half open, 
the hand brake useless, the fuel gauge 
registering full at all times. In limited 
production, it's hard to enforce quality 
in outbought accessories; and, in any 
case, many Italians remain to be con- 
vinced that anything but sheer go mat- 
ters. In a car like the Daytona, unique 
in bloodline and performance, perhaps 
they're right. They shouldn't be right, 
but maybe they are. 

Cadillac's placement in the chronicle 
of U.S. luxury town cars is unchal- 
lenged. A great many competing makes 
have come and gonc—Packard, Duescn- 
berg, Pierce-Arrow—since the first Cadil- 
lac took the road in 1902. Only the 
Mark IV Continental, descendant of the 
Lincoln, remains to challenge it. Oddly, 
both cars were created by the same man, 
Henry Leland, a Vermont engineer of 
passionate devotion to detail perfection. 
Leland named the Lincoln after Abra- 
ham Lincoln, a lifetime idol. The Cadil- 
lac was named for Antoine de la Mothe, 
who in 1701 founded Detroit and who 
titled himself Cadillac for reasons that 
remain obscure. There was a Duc de 
Cadillac in the French nobility, but a 
connection between him and De la 
Mothe has not been established, nor 
does the duke's coat of arms resemble 
the badge all Cadillacs have carried: 
Apparently it was someone's original 
creation. 

‘The Cadillac was a good car from the 
first singlecylinder Model A onward. In 
1907 its excellence was demonstrated in 
a publicity coup by Fred Benneu, the 
British distributor. Visiting Detroit, Ben. 
nett had been struck by the accuracy 
Leland was enforcing in partsmachin- 
ing: tolerances of 1/1000th of an inch 
In London. he proposed that the Royal 
Automobile Club supervise a contest in 
which three cars of any entering make 
would be stripped, the parts jumbled 
and new cars reassembled out of them. 
As Bennett had suspected would be the 
case, only Cadillac tried it. Three cars 
were stripped, the parts thoroughly 
mixed, some of them removed at ran- 
dom and replaced from the stock bins 
and the cars reassembled with hand tools 
only, and under close RAC supervision, 
to be sure there'd be no surreptitious 
filing or forcing. Set up, the cars started 
instantly and ran perfectly. Cadillac 
won the prestigious Dewar Trophy and 
the foundation of a great reputation. 

Down the years, Cadillac has been 
remarkably original, first with a good 
electric starter, hydraulic valve lifters, 
synchromesh gears, quick-drying enamel, 
chrome plating, et al, The first high- 
speed V8 engine was the 1915 Cad 
lacs, and the great У125 and У165 of 
1930 et seq. were bench marks. Another 


was the front-wheel-drive Eldorado of 
1967. Before the Oldsmobile Toronado 
and the Eldorado, it was held gospel 
that a really big engine could not be 
used in the f. w. d. configuration—there 
simply wouldn't be room, the car 
would understeer madly, etc. The regis- 
tered attempts—Bucciali’s, for example 
—had been less than winners. The ad- 
vantages were tempting: good traction 
due to engine weight over the driven 
wheels and the roomy interior deriving 
from a flat floor; the big drawback, 
steering the driven wheels, had been 
negated by technological advances and 
power stecring. The extent of the Eldo- 
rado's success with f. w. d. can be judged 
by its 8.24iter engine, the biggest in 
world production today, and by the fact 
that it's practically impossible to detect 
on the road which set of wheels is get- 
ting the power. The standard test, back- 
ing off the throttle in the middle of a 
fast curve, has no discernible effect on 
the vehicle. Correctly estimating the in- 
terest of its clientele in things mechani- 
cal at just under nil, Cadillac makes 
minimal reference to the drive, and 
there are Eldorado owners who don't 
know where the power is going. I met 
one of them in a garage two winters 
ago, having chains put on his rear 
wheels. I presume the officiating me- 
chanic knew but for some reason pre- 
ferred to keep it to himself—maybe that 
was how he got his jollies that day. 

‘The 1972 Eldorado is an informal 
four-place town car of great distinction 
and refinement, a splendid parkway 
touring car as well. I inject the caveat 
because the awesome impression of 
width from the driver's seat and its 
suspension are at least partial disquali- 
fers for country roads and byways. On 
boulevards and superhighways its as 
good as anything in the world, the mam- 
moth engine almost dead silent until the 
whip is laid on, the ride better—to my 
taste. at least—than Rolls-Royce's. Hit- 
ting obstructions such as big frost 
heaves, the thump is audible, the driver 
knows that work is being done down 
there, but next to nothing at all comes 
through the upholstery. 

"This is an unobtrusively fast machine, 
too. I have a standard 50-mile stretch. 
over which 1 have run many cars. It 
includes city driving, parkway, country 
road, a long straight and a small town. 
At a light-traffic time of day, I made 
this run in 55 minutes without doing 
anything dramatic or conspicuous. The 
Eldorado is automated to a point requi 
ing the driver to do little more U 
start it and steer it: temperature con- 
trol, cruising-speed control, the best au- 
tomatic transmission extant, electric 
locks, both-sides interior-controlled mir- 
rors, signal-secking stereo, electrically ad- 
justable seats, on-off indicators for all 

(continued on page 226) 


happiness is a raincoat for 
the man who wants to share 
his private parts with the public 


HUMOR BY 


“Fourteen thousand, two hundred 
and seventy feet for that?” 


PLAYBOY 


188 


PLAYBOY CAR STABLE 


365 GTB/4, the Daytona. Calling this 
vehicle a GT is probably an understate- 
ment of some dimension, because it is a 
motorcar of awesome power, one of the 
fastest road cars we have yet seen, fast 
enough to be taken direct from the 
dealership to the race circuit with per- 
fect confidence. Luigi Chinetti, Jr., and 
Bob Grossman did just that, running a 
Daytona in the 24-hour race at Le Mans 
in 1971 and bringing it in fifth overall. 

We have here a $24,000 two-passenger 
fastback coupe by Pininfarina/Scaglietti 
mounting a 12-<ylinder, four-camshaft, 
405-hp engine, five-speed transmission 
and ll-inch power disk brakes. The 
speedometer reads to 180 mph, and the 
needle will go there. Bill Harrah told 
me he thinks the Daytona the strongest 
automobile he's ever touched, a state- 
ment of some weight when one thinks of 
the hundreds of cars he’s handled down 
the years. I found driving it a stunning 
experience, out of range of anything I 
could recall. The thing doesn’t feel like 
an automobile: It's a locomotive. I took 
it out on a lamentably rainy Sunday 
morning in Reno. I'd been driving a 
good 275 Ferrari daily for two weeks, 
but I can't say that was any real prepa- 
ration for the Daytona, which will do 
85 in second and get to 100 in the 
12 seconds some fast motorcars take to 
h 60. The sheer pull of the engine 
ht up to 7500 rpm is fabulous, and 
for the first few miles there is a soul- 
stirring conviction, every time one shifts, 
that the thing is running away, in some- 
one else's control, like a moon rocket, 1 
never came near the honest 173 mph the 
same car had done in other hands. At 
135 I convinced myself—it didn't take 
much doing—that the steady rainfall in- 
terdicted a higher speed in a $24,000 
motorcar lent, and voluntarily at that, 
by a friend. In any case, this is a car 
that demands respect—and, for an al- 
ready well-schooled driver. about 250 
miles of familiarization would be a good 
idea, too. 

While the Daytona's shattering capa- 
ies in the maximum ranges obvious- 
ly qualify it as a race car, it still is a 
tourer: It idles without argument at 
600-700 rpm, and in fifth gear it can be 
backed off to a neat and steady 40 mph. 
It doesn't foul plugs, it doesn't overheat 
in trafic, it's comfortable, there's more 
than adequate luggage space for a 
month's travel and its eye-grabbing good 
looks guarantee first-cabin reception 
wherever it stops, from filling station to 
the porte-cochere of the Beverly Hills 
Hotel. Characteristically, the frill fea- 
tures—air conditioning, electric win- 
dows, and so on—períorm dimly. | say 
characteristically because I can recall the 
same faults in other Ferraris. I remem- 


(continued from page 90) 


ber one with 6000 miles on the od 
ter, the driver's window stuck half | 
the hand brake useless, the fuel р 
registering full at all times. In lir 
production, it's hard to enforce qu 
in outbought accessories; and, in 
case, many Italians remain to be 
vinced that anything but sheer go 
ters. In a car like the Daytona, ш 
in bloodline and performance, pe. 
they're right. They shouldn't be rig: 
but maybe they are. 

Cadillacs placement in the chronicle 
of U.S. luxury town cars is unchal- 
lenged. A great many competing makes 
have come and gone—Packard, Duesen- 
berg, Pierce-Arrow—since the first Cadil- 
lac took the road in 1902, Only the 
Mark IV Continental, descendant of the 
Lincoln, remains to challenge it. Oddly, 
both cars were created by the same man, 
Henry Leland, a Vermont engineer of 
passionate devotion to detail perfection, | 
Leland named the Lincoln after Abra | 
ham Lincoln, a lifetime idol. The Cadi 
lac was named for Antoine de la Мот 
who in 1701 founded Detroit and wi 
titled himself Cadillac for reasons tl 
remain obscure. There was a Duc 
Cadillac in the French nobility, b 
connection. between him and De 
Mothe has not been established, 
does the duke's coat of arms resei 
the badge all Cadillacs have carri 
Apparently it was someone's origi 
creation. 

“The Cadillac was a good car from d 
first single-cylinder Model A onward. 
1907 its excellence was demonstrated 
coup by Fred Bennett, dl 
butor. Visiting Detroit, Ber 
nett had been struck by the accurac 
Leland was enforcing in partsmachin- 
ing: tolerances of 1/1000th of an inch. 
In London, he proposed that the Royal 
Automobile Club supervise a contest in 
which three cars of any entering make 
would be stripped, the parts jumbled 
and new cars reassembled out of them. 
As Bennett had suspected would be the 
case, only Cadillac tried it. Three cars 
were stripped, the parts thoroughly 
mixed. some of them removed at ran- 
dom and replaced from the stock bins 
and the cars reassembled with hand tools 
only, and under close RAC supervision, 
to be sure there'd be no surreptitious 
filing or forcing. Set up, the cars started 
instantly and ran perfectly. Cadillac 
won the prestigious Dewar Trophy and 
the foundation of a great reputation. 

Down the years, Cadillac has been 
remarkably original, first with a good 
electric starter, hydraulic valve lil 
synchromesh gears, quick-drying g 
chrome plating, et al. ‘The fir 
speed V8 engine was the 1913 
lacs, and the great V]2s and 
1930 et seq. were bench marks. 


happiness is a raincoat for 
the man who wants to share 
his private parts with the public 


HUMOR BY 


“Fourteen thousand, two hundred 
and seventy feet for that?” 


192 


“Tourist!” 


“Jump? Who's going to jump? “Why can’t you just borrow a cup 
I was just waiting for a crowd to gather.” of sugar like anybody else?” 


“Wasn't that cute? A father-and-son outfit.” 193 


“No, I wasn’t planning on going out 


Bas tonight my raincoat is still at the cleaner's: 


” 


14 “Notice the way it swings freely open, giving full exposure, and not binding in the shoulders. . . . 


| 


E 


MMEBUS TED)! 


article By GARRY WILLS “thirty days,” says the judge—and a family comes apart at the seams 


carrer rapv, enlightened, building a separate career with and on her husband's (which, recipro- 
Д! cally, her own achievements bolster), told те, all sweet persuasion, how she coped with the pot 
problem. “I told our Jim [her son] that all we had given s based on his father's good name 
a judge [yes, a judge—I expected, any minute, to hear that his last name was Н. rat and he should take 
care of that good name by obeying all laws—even silly laws like those s 
She was right, of course. The kid should feel grateful and arp his father. But talk of "all we have given 
you” and "you owe it to us" and "think of your father's career” is grating to the blinkered and desperate 
(and therefore selfish) adolescent—grating under the best of conditions, without adding a law to which chil- 
dren arc sacrificed for their father's good, a law with which many of those fathers do not agree, a law express- 
ing all too conveniently the hypocrisy of society. Or so the kid must sce it. So, at least, many other kids do. 
Family ties are not so much cut now as broken through excessive tangling, and one of the things that 
s them is the law—especially pot laws. Parents are fearful of ma na, not у for its own effect on 
their children but for the /aw's effect on those kids who get caught—prison, a criminal record, the company 


197 


PLAYBOY 


198 


of hardened types. In their concern, 
they grow more restrictive and the kids— 
cither through fear of such restriction 
or out of simple deference to parental 
anxiety—hide their use of pot more care- 
fully. Parents’ confidence is broken; the 
deleterious effects of pot seem confirmed 
by the withdrawal of their children, this 
new distant wariness and caution. 

And then, perhaps, the law intrudes 
—no longer mere threat but reality. 
There is a pot bust. Are the parents 
to side with their child against the 
law, fearful that they may be under- 
g respect for all law? Or should 
they side with the law, father becoming 
judge, judge Гает, the whole domestic: 
political system throwing its persuasive 
nd coercive weight against the child? 
Or should a parent steer some middle 
course, half on the side of the judge 
and half on that of "the criminal? Or 
can he stand off and be neutral not 
child's plight? No stance 


involved in 
seems adequ 

These 
careless p 
These are either paralyzed or forced 
into undignified attempts to side with 
the law. This last situation is revealed in 
the little undercurrents and complicated 
appeal of a long letter sent by one 
father to his sons in prep school. The 
letter, written in 1970, was later pub- 
hed for other parents as an example 
of wise and compassionate guidance, 
which proves how confused we are on this 
subject: 


Dear Sons: M. N., after your spring 
vacation, suggested to me that you 
were both smoking pot. Your head- 
master, John, let fall a cryptic xe- 
mark whose innuendo І chose not 
io accept. Your final report, Jim, 
excellent as it ijs, does mention a 
lessening in your community partici- 
pation over the past several months. 
The main complaint from your head- 
master about you, John, is that you 
have this past year 
the school and school à 
withdrawn into yourself, 

"These attitudes of withdrawal are 
precisely those outward manifesta- 
tions mentioned in the Toronto 
medical report I left with you be- 
fore saying goodbye. If you have 
read that report carefully, you will 
ize that the effects of pot or 
hash are deleterious mentally and 
psychologically, as well as being cu- 


ivities and 


ташабус. In the flight from reality, 
there is a certain schizophrenia. 
The main dillerence between these 


drugs and alcohol, as again pointed 
out by the report, is that alcohol 
abused may lead to intoxication; 
but with drugs the immediate goal 
is intoxication. 

Respecting the harder LSD and 
yone who experiments 


ith these has to be very stupid, 
very immature or nuts. Here, the 
medical findings are beyond dispute. 

Returning to hash and pot, let 
me remind you of the followin 
(1) the laws, rightly or wrongly, are 
stringent, and they arc being ener- 
getically prosecuted; if you are 
caught in possession of these drugs, 
or smoking them, you are liable to 
severe fines and prison sentences. (2) 
Medical evidence—such as the To- 
ronto TEport—mounts against the: 
drugs, indicating severe psychologic: 
and intellectual consequences. (3) 
Your unde Herman is a national fig- 
ı the musical world; your uncle 
id is running for national politi- 
cal office. Your responsibility is not 
only and exclusively to yourself. (4) 
To the extent that you are mature 
young adults and responsible for 
yourselves, you ought to have the 
moral courage, really minimal, to re- 
ject any temptation toward this sort 
of dangerous and unlawful nonsense. 

Since you began growing into 
adulthood, I have prohibited you 
very few things, relying on your judg- 
ment, your prudence and your sense 
of right and wrong. If you write me 
back to tell me that what I have 
quoted above is a bunch of horse- 
feathers, IM be thankful 
course, believe you. If you wı 
say that you once experimented with 
pot but have quit it, I'll believe you. 
Tl be thankful, FI be grateful that 
you have stopped; but I will be 
amazed that you have permitted 
“peer pressure” to so outweigh your 
judgment. If you write that you have 
experimented with acid but have 
I will again believe you, be 
thankful and grateful that sound 
sense prevailed, but will not conceal 
my disappointment in а judgment 
prevailed upon to accept 
such a serious risk to your health and 
to break so serious a law. I will love 
you as always, but there will be a 
diminution of my respect for you 
and my confidence in you. It would 
be untruthful of me to say less. 

Should I get solid evidence in the 
future that you drop acid or smoke 
pot, ГЇЇ take measures of a severity 
that I hope may never be necessary. 
You are forbidden by your father to 
do either. 

“The tone of this letter is severe. I 
am not prejudging you. I am hoping 
for your avowals that you are neither 
heads nor acid freaks and I trust 
you so much that I am confident of 
receiving such avowals. And I refuse 
to believe that either of you would 
lie to me, or the whole ue of our 
warm and intimate relationship will 
be destroyed. Should cither of you 
have once indulged in pot or acid, 


or in pot more than once, you are 
commanded by me to stop, but 1 want 
to be taken into your confidence, I 
want to know why you may have 
done these things and I w 
you if I am able; that is, ha 
you to stop and you having stopped. 
I want to extend all the aid that I 
am able to bring you. Something per- 
haps drove or drives you to drugs, 
something we may be able to handle 
together in mutual trust and altec- 
tion. The distinction in gravity be- 
tween acid and pot is wide; but even 
in the case of the less-grave pot— 
nonetheless unlawful, nonetheless i 
jurious—I am unable to come to your 
help unless you extend to me the 
confidence I extend to you. 
Lovi 


‘This father is concerned and tying to 
be helpful He is intelligent and has 
tried to inform himself so that he may 
enlighten his sons Then what goes 
wrong here, what wires get crossed as he 
writes? 

The first difficulty is that he assumes 
the harmfulness of pot. I say assumes 
because he is so easily convinced—by 
one doctor's report, by vague reference 
to mounting medical evidence and by a 


false contrast between the mild high 
sought by most pot smokers (which 
intoxication”) and the re- 


g sought from even one so- 
cial drink (which, the father implies, may 
not qualify). This approach gives the 
man а certitude most investigators lack 
—such certitude that he can dismiss any 
use of pot as “dangerous and unlawful 
nonsense.” But if it were all so obvious, 
and if—as he says—he has heretofore 
relied, and successfully relied, on his 
sons good judgment, then mere presen- 
tation of evidence so strong should do 
the But he shows no confidence 
that this will be sufficient. He must go 
beyond argument, evidence and persun- 
sion, He must command! 

Actually, he issues two commands. The 
first is: Don't smoke the stuff—under pain 
of direst penalty (“I'll take measures of a 
severity that I hope may never be neces- 

These penalties will be brought 
‘should I get solid evidence in 
the future” (as opposed to inconclusive 
signs he mentioned at the outset—hiuts 
from the headmaster, etc). Yet he or- 
ders them not merely to refrain from 
pot but to reveal whether or not they have 
refrained in the past. Here judge be- 
comes father again, appealing to love and 
trust and saying he will believe their mere 
assertion (abandoning, it seems, the search 
for “solid evidence”), 

Why does he issue this second com- 
mand? He alleges several reasons. The 
first is that he wants to help the sons 

(continued on page 206) 


fiction By RICHARD HOOKER Teaium Cove 


Wharf was quiet. Sea gulls cried in the background. 
A lobster boat idled, unloading the morning catch, 

July fifth was a sunny morning with little wind. A 
lobsterman leaned against the wharf railing, smok- 
ing, looking across the harbor. He appeared to 
be lost in deep thought. Actually, he was just lost. 

A large young man in his late 20s or early 30s, 
wearing Bermuda shorts, walked with the bouncy 
stride of either a bird watcher or an associate pro- 


fessor of sociology. He (continued on page 242) 


GSOGIMOMAL , 
ORANGE 


mindless violence and 
twisted sex suffuse an ebon 
iston of the near future 


v 


IMAGERY. An accused soldier at a wartime 


pawn on a 


court-martial stands as 
checkerboard floor. A 
hurtles out of his wheelchair, screaming, 
“Mein Führer, 1 can walk!” A man-ape 
seizes a jawbone, smashing it on an 
mal skull. Imagery, the kind that mythol- 
ogizes and endures, is the nucleus of 


acal scientist 


the film experience. And few are better 


ng. transmitting and illum 
nating imagery than Stanley Kubrick. In 
Paths of Glory, Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A 
Space Odyssey and now in A Clockwork 
Orange, producerdirecior Kubrick has 
infused raw celluloid with moments of 
human drama widely regarded as unique. 
Part of his mystique centers on the singu- 
larity of his work. Kubrick's biographe 

British critic Alexander Walker, said, 
“Each film [Kubrick makes] enables him 
to extend his own investigation of him. 
self.” It is in this mise en scene of self- 
analysis that his newest film, 4 Clockwork 
Orange, has come into being. Based on 
a novel by Anthony Burgess, it concerns, 
in the director's own words, “the adven- 
tures of a young man whose princi 
interests are rape, ultraviolence and 
Beethoven.” Though this seems a far cry 
from the themes of 2007, Kubrick dis 
agrees. In a Playboy Inte 
years ago, he said, “The very mew 


at concei 


мо three 


lessness of life forces m 


n to а 


own meaning.” Is that dism 


mere self-indulgence? Kubrick, 


the special (text concluded on page 


The challenge of visualizing а future 
society has always fascinated Stonley 
Kubrick. In the Droog-dominated world of 
A Clockwork Orange, drugs are legally 
administered in teenage milk bors such as 
the Korova (top right). Kubrick, with 

on eye toward irony as well as incisive 
social commentary, fills the Korova 

with erotic fiberglass nudes, as well as 
phosphorescent-lighting effects and 
futuristic design. Many of the figures 
form bonquettes or background statues, 
but some serve os milkmaids lickerishly 
dispensing drug-spiked “moloko” (milk) 
to eager Droogs. Near right: Cretinous 
gang member, Dim (Werren Clarke), 
"vellocet" (drug) high, 
claims his milk ration. For right: 
Moloko-lulled Droogs, limply held drinks in 


seen to delight in a 


hand, wait in a comatose stote for their 


“nice quiet horror-show"' visions to begin. 


For Droog leader Alex (Malcolm McDowell), 
sexuality is almost always expressed in 
ultraviolence. Top far left: Driven by dope, 
disguised and garbed in the white combat 
uniform that identifies the Droog, Alex 

and his thugs crash the home of an 
opposition-party politician and his wife 
(Patrick Magee and Adrienne Corri). Center 
far left: With criminal fury and simultaneously 
unemotional detachment, they methodically 
assail the couple, snipping blithely 

away at the woman's pants suit until 

she's ready for the Droogs’ specialty. The 
gangs assault their victims with impunity, 
striking out at society with a sense of wanton- 
ness exceeded only by their indifference. 
Near left: Nowhere is this characteristic 
more evident than when Alex, with open 
arms and trousers at half-mast, 

prepores to rape the woman with a non- 
cholant song-and-donce rendition of 

in the Rein. Bottom far left: Entering 

the apartment of an eccentric erotica 
collector, the Catlady (Miriam Karlin), 

Alex finds her rooms filled with 

aphrodisia and porn. She refuses to give in 
to Alex’ come-ons and in an exhausting 
confrontation in a unique battleground, Alex 
counterattacks with an enormous sculptured 
phallus. The Catlady, who, like Alex, is a 
Beethoven fan, strikes at him with a bust 

of the composer. Kubrick filmed this bizarre 
scene himself with a hand-held camero, 
weaving around the brawling duo for a full 
doy's shooting. Few directors exert such 
stringent supervisory control over their 

films as Kubrick. “Making a film,” he 

says, “is one of the most dificult 
administrative problems to exist outside 

a military operation.” And, like a 

general, he insists on virtually total 

control of every effort he undertakes. 
Another form of total control, totolitarionism, 
appears in A Clockwork Orange as a 
continuous motif, although in one brief 
episode (below), Alex picks up two girls, 
invites them to “hear angel trumpets” and, 
in his only act of nonviolent lovemaking, 
dallies in his hi-fi-filled ménage à trois. 


204 


After killing the Catlady, Alex is 
apprehended. by the authorities. Near right: 
A prison officer (Michael Bates) humiliates 
Alex as he orders him to strip and 
Prepare for a dehumonizing examination. 
Much of the time while incorceroted, Alex 
reads the Bible. But the prison officials 
are mistoken in thinking the Droog leader a 
model citizen. Actually, Alex is turned an 
by the Goad Book's greot sensuality. Center 
right: Alex hallucinates a fantasy worthy of 
any desert Saracen. For punishment, however, 
he becomes a guinea pig for Pavlovian 
experimentation. Far right: Transformed 
into a sexless subhumon, Alex demonstrates 
his conditioned hatred af sex by reaching for 
then recoiling from a lody supplied to test 
him. Subsequently decanditioned 
(below right), Alex refantasizes, 
this time a brutal rape, ta “the Ninth of 
Ludwig van,” indicating he is “well” again. 


unity of all his work, thinks not. He 
commented in Walker's biography, Stan- 
ley Kubrick Directs, “People in the 20th 


Century are increasingly occupied with 
magic, mystical experience, transcen- 
dental urges, hallucinogenic drugs, and 
the belief in extraterrestrial intelligence 
—so that fantasy, the supernatural, the 
‘magical documentary, is closer to the 
sense of the times than naturalism.” 
Hence, Dr. Strangelove can be seen as 
a surreal plunging into the destructive 
element of man's irrationality and the 
absurdity of war, whereas 2001 explored 
the positive potentialities of otherworld- 
ly intervention into the destiny of man 
Sharing similarities with both films, 4 
Clockwork Orange is set in England in 
the near future. The nation, already 
totalitarian, is being terrorized by gangs 
of youths called Droogs. The Droogs 
speak in a violent, strangely onomato- 
pocic jargon, Nadsat. It is no departure 
for Kubrick to be thus attracted to lan- 
guage. From Killers Kiss, his first major 
film, made in 1955, he has consistently 
examined the dimensions of human com- 
munication. Alex (Malcolm McDowell) 
is the spokesman of a Droog clan and 
narrates his bizarre autobiography in 
Nadsat's ferocious tones, actually a blend 
of Russian, gypsy argot and portmanteau 
slang purely of Burgess’ invention. Alex 
describes a mugging thus: "Pete held 
his rookers and Georgie hooked his rot 
wide open for him and Dim yanked 
out his false zoobies. Then we razrezzed 
his plates. . . . The knives in the 
milk-plus were stabbing away nice and 
horror show." The vision of Alex’ world 
is hypnotically scarifying; seamily cor 
rupt politicians, gratuitous violence, sex- 
uality in an emotional void. But, as 
the final frame leaves the film gate, 
only one image is confirmed: that 
A Glockwork Orange is, like its 
director, both luminous and inscrutable. 


PLAYBOY 


by understanding their problems ("Some- 
thing perbaps drove or drives you to 
drugs . . 7). He says their candid admis- 
sion will allow him to work with them 
in mutual trust and affection.” Yet he 
has earlier said that an admission of 
indulging in pot will diminish his re- 


spect for the sons, as having abandoned 
their judgment to “peer pressure," and 
that any report of acid dropping will 
cause “a diminution of my respect for 
you and my confidence in you.” That 
last is neat. It says, in effect, “I have 
confidence in you; tell me the truth and 
I shall believe it is the truth, and there- 
fore 1 shall lose confidence in you." 

‘The father has, of course, given his 
own stated motive the lie. He asks for a 
confession, so he can find what causes 
the sons to be so driven; yet he has 
already settled that question in his own 
mind—weak-kneed submission to "peer 
pressure” has deprived anyone who 
smokes pot of the “courage, really mini- 
mal" to resist "any temptation toward 
this sort of dangerous and unlawful 
nonsense.” Thus, there is no doubt left 
about the intellectual issue—the sons can- 
not address him at that level. Any defense 
of “nonsense” must itself be nonsense. 
The confession will not be made in order 
that the father may understand and 
help. He already understands and has 
judged. 

What is the real reason for extracting 
the confession, then—just a desire to 
to make sure the boys suffer for 
ns? I think not. Another motive 

slips in quietly here and there. The law 
will not only punish the boys, if they 
are Gtught, bur punish, as well, other 
members of the clan. (“Your uncle Her- 
man is a national figure in the musical 
world; your uncle David is running for 
national political office") The father, 
no matter how sincere his love for these 
sons, must also—given the possibility 
of legal action—honor his fraternal 
ties. If the boys are doing something 
that might jeopardize their uncles, the 
father wants to be forewarned, to alert 
his brothers and take steps toward neu- 
tralizing that threat. This is the only 
clear advantage to be gained by wresting 
such odd confessions of moral cowardice 
out of his sons. 

Thus, the law—its effects on careers 
and reputation—forces the father to a 
choice betw two kinds of family love 
and, just as damaging, perhaps, makes 
him cloak that raw choice in the plead- 
ings and cajolin ic emotional black- 
mail, the intellectual bullying, the blind 
selbrighteousness of his letter, The more 
one looks at that leurs complicated 
weave, the more опе sees how the law was 
forcing little violations of his own profes- 
sions on the m wen his own readiness 

206 to assume the harmfulness of pot comes 


an. 


IMEBUSIRED AA 


from an attitude that he rightly senses his 
sons do not share with him—from a pre- 
disposition to agree with laws, think them 
presumptively well founded, worth ob 
serving for the sake of deference to all 
authority. That is why he is quick to 
join his own ental authority to the 
law ding force; he assumes this will 
result in mutual reinforcement, rather 
than mutual undermining. 

Some may argue that the law is not at 
fault here, only the father who could 
write such a letter. But complacency 
about parental wisdom is something 
none of us can afford. Besides, how does 
опе cope with the everpresent chance 
that onc's child may be thrown into 
juil? Perhaps a child is safe from the law 
at home; but will he be as safe at prep 
school or college? The man who wrote 
this letter knows there is pot to be had 
at the school. Would there be less if he 
brought his sons home? Is it worth what 
they might lose in education to steer 
them away from all exposure to pot? 
Where is the law more likely to catch 
pot users? All these questions pose 
themselves to a parent even before his 
children get caught. And after that hap- 
pens, even a parent more open-minded 
on the nature of pot, on the laws limi 
ations, even a father less predisposed to 
subtle bullying, can make hasty, ill-con- 
ceived decisions, lose his children’s trust, 
violate their sense of justice. We all 
know cases of that, I suppose. Here is 
one that I know intimately. 

With two sons (Cl and Mare) in 
high school, Mr. and Mrs. Brown, let us 
call them, had the normal concern 
getting money together for college, hop- 
ing the local college was good cnough, 
inquiring about others they might scnd 
their boys away to. Then, while she was 
cleaning her sons’ room one day in 1968, 
Mrs. Brown saw it—a clear bag full of 
crackly stuff and the telltale cigarette 
papers. As she told me later, “They had 
not even smoked regular cigarettes be- 
fore then.” 

She and her husband confronted the 
boys. Mr. Brown asked that they give 
up pot while they remained his le 
d to think of the 
girls—Barbara, thirteen, and Alice ['Lisi'], 
five.” Chris, the elder son, “That's 
the least we can do for yoi Chris had 
п the forthright one; very open, 
for all things had come easily to him— 
grades, girls, sports, friends—and he had 
nothing to hide. Only fear hides. Trust 
within the y was instantly restored 
when he said, “That's the least we can do.” 

The Browns attended Chris's high 
school graduation that spring, then went 
on the happiest m the whole 
family remembers (or will ever know 
again): They drove "home" to the small 


vacat 


Missouri town where Mr. and Mrs. 
Brown had grown up together, then 
visited scenic spots in Colorado. It was a 
festive time for a family used to doing 
all kinds of things together—going to 
church, picnicking, painting and draw- 
ing. sharing hobbies. The boys major 
crises to that. point had been lost little- 
league games or archery matches. Later, 
the parents would learn things about 
this idyllic last summer—e.g., that Chris 
had turned on some kids back in Mis- 
souri, children of old friends now grown 
less friendly—but that was later. 

They returned from their vacation 
unsuspecting and enrolled Chris in the 
local college, bought his books, waited 
for classes to begin. Then the phone call 
came—they did not realize until it came 
that part of them had been waiting for 
it all those months, Chris was busted, in 
the company of a boy three years young- 
er, for possession of marijuana, That was 
aturday, and Chi s released in the 
Browns care until trial—on Monday. 
“That Sunday was the worst day our 
family had ever spent, Brown says. 
"Everything we had considered important 
up to that time went right ош the 
dow. We felt so baffled, unable to help 
Chris. All we could think of was thc 
fingerprinting—the mug shot—the rec- 
ord.” The arrest and trial would upset 
the boy's first weeks at college. There 
was some relief, though—possession was 
only a misdemeanor there, Chris was a 
juvenile and it was his first offense of 
any kind. “The police we talked to 
thought he would get off.” Brown said. 

On Monday, Chris was convicted and 
sent to a probation officer for recom- 
mendation on sentencing. (The boy 
caught with him—a brother of the boy 
who turned Chris on—was let off with 
a warning. He would be caught again 
later and convicted.) The Browns took 
Chris to the probation officer, pointed 
out his good scholastic and conduct 
records and went away comforted—he 
would recommend leniency, probation in 
their custody. 

"Tuesday morning, back to the judgc 
for sentencing. Some of Chriss long 
haired friends—obviously distasteful to 
the judge—had come out of curiosity. 
Other young people were there, brought 
by their parents, to be taught a lesson. 
The judge, as it turned out, was ready to 
oblige such parents. He preached over 
Chris's head to those in the courtroom, 
talked of the hardening and corruption 
at go on in those who break the law, 
said Chris had already corrupted his 14- 
n crime,” then wagged 
nger at him: "I won't punish your 
g you the fine. Thirty 
Mrs. Brown says now, with 
the acquired bitterness of dealing with 
official after official who claimed he would 
spare her by punishing her child, “What 

(continued on page 223) 


days i 


208 


letter from a liberated woman 
from Amusements in High Life; or, Conjugal Infidelities in 1786 


I must relate to you now the outcome of 
my newest design. As you may conccive, it 
all had to do with that great booby, that 
piece of awkwardness and ignorance to 
whom I had vowed obedience; in short, my 
husband, Mr. Ramble. Once settled in our 
London house, we began to invite company 
and to make some show of mingling in the 
world of fashion. That became a comedy, my 
dear Eliza, of the most nonsensical ind, 
with the vulgarities of Mr. Ramble setting 
all watchers agog 

When we endea 
cards, he would, if the game went against 
him, suddenly scatter them upon the table 
and blow out his checks with an oath, or 
overturn the table to prevent others from 
winning. With one glass of wine too many, 
he would put his hands into the bosoms of 
young ladies and, when reprimanded by my 
mother, he would roar that she was a jea 
old hunks who envied the pleasures of 
others. When he became sleepy and wished 
to retire from the company, his general ad- 
dress to me was, “Come, Lina, let us take our 
arse in our hands and go pig it together. I'sc. 
sleepy, and ТЇЇ be damned if TU stay for the 
king—come along, girl.” Such treatment. de- 
termined me to be rid of him with all 
dispatch possible; but for the moment, I 
lacked any scheme. 

The attentions paid me by several smart 
young fellows were a great relief from his 
brutality, in particular those of а Mr. 
O'Carrol, one of those athletic adventurers 
from Hibernia who bring with them much 
wit and little money. I encouraged his ad- 
dresses and succeeded in arousing Ramble's 
jealousy. Like many Irishmen, Mr. O' Carrol 
as full of absurdity, had a fund of good 
nature and was rash enough to attempt any 
foolishness. Once I had given him to under- 
stand that there was only one real obstacle to 
my consent, he undertook boldly to quarrel 
with my husband and so (as I designed) give 
cause to a genteel mode of murder. 

Thereupon, he trod on my husband's toes 
in various ways and Ramble, at last growing 
incensed, challenged him, “As you never was 
a gentleman,” says my Irish gallant, "I will 
condescend to fight you with your own weap- 
ons. What do you think of blunderbusses 
loaded with slugs in a saw pit? Or what of 
fisty work? I'll make you dance to the tune 
of Sheela-na-gig with one hand and with the 
other ГИ whip you like a top.” 

At these terrible words, my lord and mas- 
ter grew pale. “I'll have nothing to do with 
fighting,” says Ramble, “but I'll swear the 
peace against you.” Whereupon, he kept his 
word; my champion was obliged to give 
security for his good behavior, and next the 
poor fellow was detained by a sheriff's officer 
and obliged to go to a lockup house for some 
small debt. 

This turn of events, dear Eliza, suggested a 
pretty plan to me. My husband’s allowance 


cored to teach him to play 


lous 


ng, but he had a vanity in clothe: 
is now indebted by 60 shillings to his 
who had applied in vain for the 
I therefore took care to inform the 
tailor, at second hand, that nothing but 
compulsion could recover his debt. The pla 
succeeded and my deary was called out 
breakfast by an officer, who conveyed him to 
a place of security. And there he Janguishe: 
the expense of his living taking all of h 
slender income and the detainers of debt 
lodged against him putting the recovery of 
his liberty beyond hopes. 

1 now had my full swing and presently I 
sent a 20-shilling bank note to liberate the 
ndsome O'Carrol, who greeted. me with 
such effusions of thanks that 1 № 
convinced that he was not deficient i 

iliy. In the next few weeks, he continucd 
to pay his attention to me with such pleasing 
intent that he soon got the better of m 
prejudice against his Irish absurdities, so Lar 
last to succeed in insinuats himself into 
my arms. 

Once that was done, I now began to 
experience all the enjoyments his manly 
power could impart. Under pretense of being 
with Mr. Ramble in his place of confini 
ment, I would slip away hom home and 
meet my Irish gallant in his lodgings. He was 
ways in a state of high eloquence and 
ntoxication, sharing the weakness of his race 
for the stone jug and whatever liquor it is 
they distill in their misty bogs. No sooner 
H ved than L found myselb kissed, 
fondled, charmed, stripped and Hat on my 
The frequency and vigor of h 
ned me that my 


was u 
he w 


apaired. The pleasure of sensation 
УСЫ 

By this means, I found myself frec of the 
odious restraints custom places upon wom 
1 could now make advances to young fellows 
without the least blush. Why should I deny 
that 1 love flattery or the variety of many 
men? My passions had been aroused to such 
a degree that the vigorous sport with Mr. 
O'Carrol was hardly enough to satisfy my 
new appetite. The leson I had received 
from Rambles perfidy had taught me to 
trifle with the gs of all his sex 
1 saw my gallant as nothing more t 
creature of my own pleasures, 
to continue him as long as he filled his post 
with entire satisfaction. After one of our vig- 
orous encounters in bed, 1 could depart to 
another round ol pleasures, quite at my ease, 
as il nothing had happened at all. 

Т КИК ШЧ КЕИ nalen 
deal orita dí ШЕ OR ИДУ Ttt 
man eorened into thinking Ке possesses ‘onic: 
fito OE Ihe бї lim fios D ofen, 

nd myself now my own mistress to sport 
nd dispose as 1 please with a world of lovers. 

Adieu, my dear, 
Caroline 
—Retold by Clement Bell 


Ribald Classic 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY BRAD HOLLAND 


PLAYBOY 


20 M 


Take me fa your Tailor 


dread the days when I have to walk 
round constantly hitching my waistband. 
I seem unable to foretell elastic fatigue. 

Only my ties occasionally give sati 
tion, even a fleeting pleasure, but my 
favorites are always the first to become 
dishgured by gravy stains. I have learned 
never to give my heart to a tie. My 
shirts have to be custom-ailored. 1 am 
too thick in the neck, too broad in the 
chest for the fashionable rubbish on 
the ready-to-wear counter. The real di 
a ion in the world involves not 
color but shape. I am segregated in New 
York, forced to shop at the outsize store 
next to the Ш boutique. 

In the old days, inns we 
pro 
e 
profitable such an exerci 
mine host. Nowadays 
compelled to carry lines to accommodate 
the full figure. How insufferable are the 
advertisements for menswear in slick mag- 
azines—yes, even this journal of enlight- 
nt—the bland assumption that the 
1 the lat. How I loathe the 
arrogance of the well-groomed skeleton. 
stooping condescendingly to open the 
door of the sports car to release the 
[ау bird. 1 even resent the horse in 
the background. 1 do not live in the 
world of cavalry will. No large dog nuz- 
ales my legs, il 1 can help it. 

Until recently, 1 bought my suits from 
a London tailor named Mr. Robinson 
who often worked for the British movie 
industry. Mr. Robinson was 82 when he 
passed on last year, He had started cutting 
or, at any rate, deviling for a tailor before 
the turn of the century. He had a relish 
for the days when dukes drove up to his 
1 their dogcaits, complete 
with tiger. "You do know about tigers, 
he said to c. “They weren't ani- 
mals but boys who sat on the back seat 
with folded arms and were as much a part 
of the scene as the Daln 
lowed behind.” Whe 
his fiting, the tiger would leap from the 
back and, flinging himself at the horse's 
head, strike the trusty steed on the back 


le food and lodging for 


how inconyenient or un- 
= proved for 
s should be 


„ no matte 


мој 


establishment 


of the knee, so that he should stand prop- 
епу. “It was important how he stood," 
Mr. Robinson Dukes ap- 
parently were intensely jealous of one 
another, They still are, as a matter of 
fact. In those days, if they saw a carriage 
drawn by a better horse than their own, 
they couldn't wait to steal their rival's 
coachman. 

“But, surely,” I queried, “it was the 
horse they coveted?” No. According to 
Robinson, the secret was always the 


assured me. 


(continued from page 207) 


coachman. E am reminded that Louis B. 
Mayer once wrote down for me in the 
order of importance, as he saw them, the 
qualities of a star. The ability to 


came comparatively low on the 
Turnout was all important. 

Once we were lunci ar Вис 
a London men's club started by my 


fuherindaw, the lue Herbert Buc 
master. After the meal, E escorted my guest 
back to his premises around the corner, 
passing on the way a male boutique of 
ity and expense. I hoped 
son wouldn't notice the 
‚ed clerical collars 
d hair shirts come 


window, which disp 


surpri 
plete with chains. 

“I often go in the id Mr. Rol 
son, “and give them my advice. They are 
young chaps, you know, just starting 
the ade.” 

Mr. Robinson demanded a high stand- 

d of conduct in his fiuing rooms. He 
had a particular horror of wives who 
пу their menfolk to off 
When one of them confessed to a feeling 
of disappointment that her man still 
bulged in all the wrong places and i 
cautiously ired if Mr. Robinson 

ng about it, he i 
replied, “Willingly, madam, 
duchess who 
complained that the waistcoat wrinkled 
when the duke sat down was invited to 
inspect his shirt and forced to a 
that wrinkled, as well, whereupon M 
Robinson opened the garment. “You 
will observe, madam, t 


g colors 


is 


when he is 
seated, his grace’s stomach is also prone 
to wrinkle.” 

“What happens.” 1 asked Mx. 
son, “between the day I choo: 
er. you choose the doth and the first 


ou wait," he told me. 
On the other nd. 


Г you w 


re really 


a fix or, in my case, a film, he would 
ke you a suit in 24 hours without a 
fiting. He knew the rich like to be kept 
iz. long to be rejected. My father in 
me about his club. He 
nally. 


wai 


law was the 


would refuse people a table occa 
even whan there w he 
always have what they want," he would 
‚mark. 

In Mr. Robinson and my fatherin 
law's world, people were children, "PII be 
with you in a mi Mr. Robinson 
used 10 say, meaning, “Sit down and wait 
quietly and don’t make а fuss; that's а 
good boy.” I sat and waited and Mr 
Robinson came in with the jacket and 
waistcoat and put them on a chair and 
went away, and 1 was then in my unde 


room. пата 


pants in a little cubicle, feeling 
were going to have a medical exami 
tion when the trouser cutter came in. 
The trouser cutter was quite unlike Mr. 
Robinson. He was not a star and he was 
deferential. He had his jacket on, while 
Mr. Robinson was always in shirt sleeves. 
But perhaps the most marked difference 
was that the trouser cutter’s trousers al- 
ways fit perfectly at the first session. Per- 
fection for the coat was not achieved until 
the third and final occasion. The very 
ppearance of a penknife at the third fit- 
ting was unthinkable. The coat fit, But 
then came the moment when Mr. Robin- 
son ceremoniously would adjust the cheval 
glass, in order that we might admire the 
back. "Just look at that back," he would 
urge. But I am not fond of the back. It 
is the moment of truth when I sec how 
r still grows 
is there for me to brush 
every moi 1 was always chagrined to 
observe in Robinson's cheval glass 
that on top it didn’t grow att all. 

The one outfit 1 have never purchased 
from my late tailor, nor worn, save in the 
pursuance of my trade, has been a tail 
coat and the accompanying white tie and 
waistcoat. When still a comparati 
young man and appearing as Oscar 
Wilde in a play of ıhat name on Broad- 
way, I was asked to a supper party after 
a performance by the late Mrs. Сог- 
nelius Vanderbilt, who, in those days, 
still lived in her mansion on Filth Ave- 
nue. The dress, she indicated on the in- 
Vitation, was to be formal. “What would 
I inquired of the social 


bald I am. Because my 
ind 


in front 


Mr. 


secretary 
"It means a white tie and tails.” 


her. so 1 shall come 
id a black tie, if 
imed for a 
moment that it wouldn't be. I was, after 
all, the toast of Broadway that season. 
Every taxi driver knew that my grosses 
were topped only by those of Raymond 


“I haven't got ci 


dwa 


I was doing for their cause as they 
ushered me to a ringside seat at the Cot- 
ton Club. Waher Winchell had awarded 
me “five orchids” and, although his qu 
terfered with my prominence 
ybill, this was heady w 

On the morning of the paty. the 
social secretary rang me. It seemed tha 
Мәд» Vanderbilt had been considering 
my problem and thought it best if I 
were to come other evening. I 
went to bed supperless scarred for life 
nd vowing never to own a tail coat, On 
the whole, my decision has been a wise 
It has little inconven- 
great deal of 


ne. 


some 


one. used me 


ience and has saved me 


boredom. 


“We always give our New Year's party a topical theme. This 
year it’s ‘Swinging Suburbia.’ ” 


211 


Best Major Work 


announcing the prize-winning authors and their 
contributions judged by our editors to be the past year’s most outstanding 


PLAYBOY'S ANNUAL 
WRITING AWARDS 


Best Short Story 


GEORGE AXELROD, premiering in 
PLAYBOY with Where Am I Now When I 
Need Me? (March). took top honors for the 
best major work, a gleeful chronicling of 
a tough-luck writers encounter with a 
beautiful-and loony—callgirl. Arthur C. 
Clarke's A Meeting with Medusa (De- 
cember), detailing man’s first expedition 
to Jupiter, was a close runner-up. 


SEAN O’FAOLAIN, Ireland's foremost 
storyteller and last year’s runner-up, cap- 
tured 1971's best-short-story award for a 
work replete with character, intrigue— 
and unsolved homicide—Murder at Cob- 
blers Hulk (July). Hal Bennetts Also 
Known as Cassius (August), a black moral- 
ity tale, took second place for the author, 
last year's best new fiction writer. 


JOHN CLELLON HOLMES, recipient of 
our 1964 nonfiction kudos, earned the 
year's best-essay honors for his testimony to 
art's effect on the spirit, Thanksgiving in 
Florence (November). The scamy and sub- 
lime sides of Manhattan intermingled in 
Bruce Jay Friedman's first, and barely 
beaten, nonfiction for PLAYBOY, December's 
New York-A Town Without Foreplay. 


JOHN McPHEE, ako a first-time non- 
fiction contributor, wrought a drama of 
Wimbledon as well crafted and tension 
filled as the finest tennis racket in Centre 
Court (June), and scored match point for 
best article just ahead of Mike Royko's 
Hizzoner (March), a portrait of Chicago's 
Richard J. Daley, the last-and perhaps the 
most powerful—of the big-city bosses, 


THE SELECTION Of any prize winner requires an arbitrariness that vexes both the judges and the judged. For the edi- 
tors of PLAYBOY, the task of singling out the best works to have appeared in the magazine during the past 12 months 
was an especially difficult one. The process of assessing is primarily that of comparison, but because so many of our 
articles, essays, major works of fiction, short stories and humorous pieces were, in 1971, one-of-a-kind experiences, they 
stubbornly resisted comparison. Diversity was the key word; and in recognizing this, the editors, upon reaching their 
decisions, voted to award—as tokens of respect and appreciation—not only $1000 and an engraved silver medallion 
encased in a clear-Lucite prism (shown at left) to each of our first-place winners but, for the first time, $500 and a 
medallion to those writers who placed second. It is regrettable that all contributors could not be thus honored. 


Best New Contributor (Fiction) Best New Contributor (Nonfiction) 


WILLIAM HJORTSBERG* 
ters (June), a chilling depict 
ture, where disembodied brains struggle 
for liberation, was judged most worthy; 
while Latin-American novelist Gabriel 
Garcia Marquez rated second place for his 
sensitive story of Esteban and the villagers 
who worshiped him in The Handsomest 
Drowned Man in the World (November). 


Best Humor 


ROBERT MORLEY's veddy British Mor- 
ley Meets the Frogs (July), a jocular—and 
jugular—incision into the customs and the 
psyches of his cross-Channel rivals, bested 
four-time humor prize winner and last 
year’s runner-up Jean Shepherd, who again 
came in second. with his summer-cump 
recollections, The Mole People Battle the 
Forces of Darkness (August). 


ARTHUR HADLEY, distinguished war 
correspondent, with a compelling piece on 
the life of the front-line grunt, Goodbye 
10 the Blind Slash Dead Kid's Hooch (Au- 
gust), won recognition as the year’s best new 
contributor of nonfiction. A trenchant nar- 
rative of dropout communards scuffling in 
Canada, World 42; Freaks 0 (May), netted 
Garry Wills runner-up honors. 


BROCK YATES and BRUCE McCALL's 
Major Howdy Rixby's Album of Forgotten 
Warbirds (January), a catalog of out-of- 
kilter planes that shot down those who 
dig military artifacts, won top honors for 
best satire. U.S. Representative Thomas 
Reess Bringing Russia to Her Knees (Feb- 
xuary), bewailing our failure to tum the 


U.S.S.R. into a parking lot, placed next. 213 


PLAYBOY 


e 


PLACE OF WHITE HOUSES 


girl drives by at the wheel of an old 
Galaxic. Looks like Karen Black in Five 
Easy Pieces. The kind that wears baby- 
doll nightgowns from Frederick's of Hol- 
lywood with 1 rove vou embroidered 
on the side. On the bumper of the Ford 
is a bustinviting sticker: GET YOUR SHIT 
‘TOGETHER, it reads. 

On a Saturday afternoon in January, 
the forces of Dr. Carl McIntire, the 
warlike preacher, meet in Plaza Park 
and march down EI Camino Real to 
Linda Lane Park (you remember Linda 
Lane, sister of Priscilla?) by the beach. 
They're protesting the war. It isn't war- 
like enough. We're not winning it. 
McIntire and his followers apparently be- 
lieve peace is something to shoot for. They 
march down to the beach toting signs 
like, WHY AREN'T WE WINNING and ASK 
and TOTAL VICTORY, where 
they are met by a McIntire regular, Unde 
m on seven-foot stilts. Uncle Sam wears 


MR. NIXON 


boxing gloves and has his hands bound 
at the wrists, « Houdini ish metaphor that 
is meant to demonstrate what a pitiful 
helpless giant we arc in Vietnam. On 
the downhill road to the park, a gaggle 
of bikini boppers walk alongside the 
march. The textbook reaction would 
have delighted the heart of Sigmund 
Freud. These citizens who were calling 


(continued from page 166) 


for, in effect, the elimination of the popu- 
lace of a distant Asian country that had 
never done them any direct harm were 
outraged at the sight of the seminaked 
female body. "First they allowed bur- 
lesque indoors.” sid an irate middle- 
aged man carrying a flag, “now it’s in 
the public streets . . . shameful!” 

The thought that occurred as you 
watched them was—are these the war 
lovers? Is this the violent right? These 
meek, scrawny, lugubrious, feckless citi- 
zens, mostly children or middle-aged, the 
men wearing five-year-old Penney's sport 
shirts. You wonder what these people 
would do if enemy paratroopers sudden- 
ly dropped from the sky. Run in circles 
and scream? There doesn’t appear to be a 
combatready infantryman in the whole 
lot. (1 would like to see a paper done 
someday on the war records of hawks. 1 
suspect that they've seen much less com- 
bat than those who are called doves.) 


Five miles north on the beach is Dana 
Point. Ihe most famous residents there 
are Hobie Alter, who makes surfboards 
and the Hobie Cat, a catamaran that 
you sail right into the surf; and Bruce 
Brown, the Fellini of surfing films. John 
Severson, founding publisher of Surfer 
magazine, used to live here. Surfer has 
lately begun to resemble a throw-together 


“Oh, sure, I like to feel loved—but what really 
gives me a bang is to feel envied.” 


of the Berkeley Barb, Nugget and the Paris 
Review. The offices of Surfer are actually 
in Capistrano Beach, a stone's throw from 
Dana Point, A much earlier visitor was 
Richard Henry Dana, Jr. who landed in 
the natural harbor there in 1836 as a 
crewman of the brig Pilgrim, and who 
turned his experiences into Two Years 
Before the Mast. Three miles north of 
Dana Point is Mission San Juan Capis- 
tano, where the swallows return every 
Saint Joseph's day (March 19). They often 
begin arriving three or four days before 
and continue arriving a week or so after, 
but it's a charming bit of folklore and 
the curio shops (Middle America’s head 
shops) aren’t too unhappy that the tourists 
swallow the swallows story. They'll do a 
brisk sale in a pamphlet titled “The 
Story of the San Juan Capistrano's Mis. 
sion Swallows,” as the annual Fiesta de 
las Golondrinas goes on its merry mar 
achi way outside. But there's a spider in 
the valentine. Some Capistranans resent 
the swallows, which they call “messy 
birds" They dribble mud while build 


g their nests, and then there is bird 
shit from the baby swallows, Many 


homes are festooned with strips of foil 
to discourage swallow nests, About 50 
of them, many containing eggs, were 
knocked from the eaves of a new church 
near the south edge of town. Then it 
came out that some homeowners had 
been clandestinely knocking nests from 
under their eaves for years. 

When the President visited the mis 
sion, he was greeted by señoritas in loi 
full gowns. "I much prefer these to 
miniskirts," he said. He later ran into a 
miniskirted artist. He praised her paint 
g but not her skirt, and she offered to 
sell it to him when it was finished. She 
did, but after adding three doves—in 
cluding the Dove of Peace. 

The best restaurant in the South 
Coast area is in San Juan Capistrano. 
Irs called El Adobe, and Dick and Pat 
had dinner there. The chair Nixon sat 
in now bears a brass plaque: TRE PRESI 
DENT'S CHAIR, RICHARD NIXON, MAR. 22 
1969, While they were eating, а та 
drove up to the door with some hii 
jeep and was told if he wanted to see the 
President, Mr. Nixon would be out short 
1 се Nixon?" he said. “Hell, I want to 
cat." The meal served to Nixon that day 
is featured on the El Adobe menu 
“The Presidents Choice.” The Presi 
dent's choice is not, as you might sus- 
pect, couage cheese with but 
chiles rellenos, tacos, enchiladas, erc— 
the 
Pepito's. 


as 


сагир, 


old number-seven combination at 


im and I turn back 
where a beer and an 
it me, served 
by a witch from the 
high school. Sometimes in winter, taking 
a two-mile run on the beach, you are the 


The sun is on the 


toward the ріст 
“abalone sandwitch" a 


sweet little sand 


only one there. As you walk back, the 
only imprints on the tidal sand are your 
tennisshoe marks, the record of your 
recent run, coming at you, apparendy 
without end, and seeming lo admonish 
you: “This way! TI 
Ahead of me, fighting into the now 
suong wind, is a gray sea gull. Its alti- 
tude is about 50 feet, air speed nearly 
zero, and it has in its beak an object, 
about clam size—a pretty good pay load 
for a gull. Periodically, it loses air speed 
and has to jettison the object. It then 
dives and, without a hitch in its swing, 
touches down on the sand, beaks the 
object and takes off. After it goes, say, 
75 feet farther, the whole sequence i 
repeated. This goes on three or fou 
times. It looks like the stubborn little 
devil is going to take his Sisyphean load 
all the way home that way. On the 
fourth or fifth try, the gull climbs quite a 
bit higher, perhaps 75 fect, drops the 
thing again and—I do not lic—dives 
and catches it in mid-air just above the 
sand, Then it climbs back up, this time 
way up to 100 fect, drops it again, 
circles around and either can't spot the 
damn thing or says, aw, the hell with it 
—hecause it goes on without its prize. 
The sun is partly on a downer now 
and the beauty is lyrical. It is the time 
when poets, conservationists and other 
devotecs of pictorial “climax scenes” like 
this must be careful, lest they say some- 
thing they will be sorry for in the mom- 
ing. My only thought—why can't the 
people who inhabit this piece of geogr: 
phy be as beautiful i t as it is? 
has already been said. “Though every 
prospect pleases / And only man is vile.” 


All the clouds are cumuloft 
Walking in space 

Oh, my God, your skin is soft, 
1 love your face. 

How dare they try 

To end this beauty . . 


Farther on I come upon an old, 
dun-colored seal, sprawled on 
my no doubt, 
Rock, which lies about a mile 
out. Two little girls, around 13 ог 14, 

iting next to this lugubri i 
his is our seal," one sa 
next to them. The poor old 
tattered thing raises its head with a 
t effort and makes a fechle Tunge 
ard us. The girls р: jump 
back. I say, “That seal is dying. They 
never come up on the beach like that 
unless they're going 10 die" The girls 
looked bemused, as if they had never 
heard of such a thing. 


from & 


tow and 


Back at my pad, I stand on the sum 
porch and can hear the lifeguard loud- 
speaker. They are shutting down for the 
day. Sound travels upward and it drifts 
up with awful fidelity—I sometimes wish 


my stereo set were as faithful. In sum- 
mer my day is punctuated with the 
authoritarian drone of this lifeguard P. A. 
“Attention, the boy riding the bike on 
the beach: Get off your bike and remain 
off it until you leave the beach.” “Will 
the surfer with the blue trunks and the 
yellow board return to the beach— 
you're through for the day.” This latter 
judgment and sentence means that a 
surfer has drifted into the area reserved 
for swimmers once too often. The suri- 
ers are a real committed Jot. Their idea 
of striking a blow for freedom is to 
change their trunks, borrow a different- 
color board and get back into the surf. 
Its their Endless Summer equivalent of a 
Weatherman going underground. 

The sun is down now but throwing 
an electricorange altersplash against the 
clouds. It’s a total stun situation. The 
sea is steel blue and rises up to the eye 
with that “sudden tilt up of the vast pl 
of the sea” that Conrad noted. Silhouetted 
against this, a few hundred yards from 


me, is the outline of a large one-story tile- 
roofed building, the Casa Romantica rest 
home. It’s Ole's old place! Casa Roman 
tica by the Sea, And now old folks go 
there to die. 

A few months ago, the whine of porta- 
ble saws awakened me and I could sce 
they were cutting trecs down at Ole's 
place. A day or so later, a bulldozer at- 
tacked Ole's guesthouse, which used to be 
called Mrs. Hanson's Dollhouse. It went 
down in 15 minutes. A builder named 
Wulfeck is going to throw up 105 apart- 
ment ui each with an ocean view. 
Before razing Mrs. Hanson's Dollhouse, 
they removed the handmade red-clay 
tiles from the roof, which will be used 
in a barbecue area in the new apart- 
ment complex, The builder said that the 
dollhouse was in amazingly good inter- 
nal condition. 

We didn’t even see one termite,” he 
said, 


“Wow! That's mistletoe!” 


215 


PLAYBOY 


ELECTRONIC JOURNALISM 


Pentagon papers was held up for two 
s by the courts—a demonstration of 
prior restraint unprecedented in our his- 
tory. American freedom involves the right 
of a person to publish what he pleases: 
though he may go to jail for it later, he 
can't be stopped beforehand. But the 
Pentagon papers were stopped. tempo- 
rarily, at least, and the opinions written 
by the Supreme Court Justices who final- 
ly allowed publication are by no means 
reassuring to us First Amendment types. 
In fact. it сап be argued that in both 
The Selling of the Pentagon and the 
Pentagon-papers disputes. we won the 
battle but moved the direction of 
losing the war. 

Walter Cronkite says he thi 
is a conspiracy in the Adm 
discredit the news media. and maybe 
he's right. but I sce the current anti-news 
campaign as more fundamental to the 
character of the Pi nd the men 


istration, one that sees the 
patchwork of battlefields, or 
football fields. in which the good guys 
ying the bad guys in a thousand 
different contests. There little room. 
for amelioration or compromise in this 
viewpoint, hardly any possibility of 
“bringing us together,” since everything is 
see terms of one side nst anoth- 


er, winning or losing. 
One of the conflicts the Govern- 
ment versus the news media. Since the 


President himself is fond of sports anal- 


ogies, let us recall that for ycars he 
stood outside the ball park asking to 
play in the big leagues. And after get- 
ting in, his team got into trouble in the 


second inning. He was watching televi- 
sion during the peace marche: 
White House was having а v 
time. Manager Nixon sent someone out 
onto the feld to say the ump 


fixed. That someone, of course, 
Vice-President. Agnew, in his first attack 


on the newspapers and network in- 
stant analyzers. 

A word about instant analysis, since I 
am the п on that assignment 
for NBG News. Who are we, Agnew 
demanded to know, to appear on televi- 
after the President and tell the 
people what he has just said? Well. for 
one thing, quite often the people don't 
understand what he has said. An exam- 


day 


sion 


ple of this was Nixon's sudden 1 


appearance not long ago, when he read 
a very carefully worded statement of 


the Russians to move 
ahead on the limitation of strategic nu- 
cle The statement had to be 
identical with one being issued in Mos- 
cow, which meant that, like most diplo- 
guage, it had a sort of Delphic 


agreement with 


weapons. 


(continued from page 121) 


quality about it. It had to be analyzed 
and explained—immediately—and that's 
just what we did. When we engage in 
that kind of instant analysis, or talk 
about Henry Kissingers scaret mission 
to Peking, the White House is all smiles. 
But when we say that the President 
ducked some questions at a news confer- 
ence, there is a се mount of glar- 
ing the next day. In that sense, the 
President's men are very human. 

But the Vice-President is something 
else: He is dose to being European— 
and radical—in his attitude toward the 
media, In many countries of the world, 
the newspapers are run by and for 
political parties. Many stateoperatel 
television systems are controlled by the 
politicians who happen to be in power- 
the government-run, governmentcensored 
television news operation of G: 
France being a id example. What 
characterizes the news in these раму 
newspapers and on these politically con- 
trolled television programs is bias: the 
is put out by true believers for 
hful—and it usually ends up not 


the fa 
being news. In some countries. опе mu 


go through four or five papers a 
reading between the lines, to get a co- 
herent idea of the real news. 

Mr. Agnew would take us in that 
direction. It seems to be his assumption 
that all j are domi 
their prejudices—rightwing jour 
and left-wing journalists alike. When 
the Vice-President says it might be valu- 
able to sce the people who broadcast the 
news every evening examined by a pancl 
who would question them on their per 
sonal political beliefs, he is saying that 
you can’t understand the news unless 
you know the political values of the 
people reporting it, That is a very Euro- 
pean view, and it ignores the fact that 
American. journalism is known through- 
out the world for its unusually high 
ethical and professional standards. 

One of the basic clements of the New 
Journalist is his commitment to a politi- 
cal idea; he is identified with one side of 
the story and interprets it from that 
side. This isn't reporting, it's essay м 


ists 


ing, and it has produced, from Joi 
Swift to Nat Hentofk. some first-rate 
essays—but not good daily journalism. 


Would we be better off if we had a 
leftwing Associated Press and a righi- 
wing United Press International? Or a 


right-wing CBS and a leftwing NBC? I 
don't think so. Moreover, the profession- 


1 craftsmen who process the news in 
daily journalism would themselves reject. 
that, since it would сопісе with the 
centrist politics most of them embrace. 


Iam a member of the extreme center, 
and that’s because my life has shaped 
my politics. 1 have been a reporter all 


my life, and my experiences as a report 
er have given me a set of political 

r, the 
ing. and I saw crime, 
ality and racism. I was a 
war reporter. and 1 learned about men 
and courage and waste and tragedy. I 
was а foreign correspondent, and I 
learned how other countries and other 
people organize their lives. ed in 
Moscow and learned what totalitarian- 
ism means and how journalism can be 
twisted and distorted by forcing it to 
serve what are called the needs of the 
state, ] was a political reporter, and I 
learned the differences between oratory 
and truth, between the promise and the 
payoff. 1 was a Washington. correspond- 
ent, and I learned one or two thing 
about power, how it is gained and how 
used. 

I have spent 20 years in professional 

association with problems, conflict and 
change, and there are thousands like me 
—men and women who are paid to go 
out into the field and see how the socie 
ty is working. What kind of people are 
we? We have a basic distrust of officials, 
bureaucrats and politicians. We have a 
deep dislike of fools and phonies, and 
probably a greater admiration than most 
for the occasional good man or woman. 
We tend to side with the underdog, 
h the poor and the oppressed. And 
tivists who try to bring about 
пре, since journalists know 
more thin most people that the society 
1 profound need of renovation. 
At the same time, most journalists 
m and violence, simply 
because we have seen too much of it to 
believe that it can work. And. in my 
experience, most reporters don't join 
causes nor political parties, perhaps be- 
cause we are forced to listen to too 
many speeches. So the group of journal- 
ists I know best. who cover national and 
international affairs. arc people of the 
center, perhaps morc skeptical and prag- 
ic than the average Amcrican, but 
reasonably close to the norm in a mod- 
erately liberal country. 

Critics of journalism never take into 
account the fact that journalists are 
moved by ordinary emotions. The Amer 
can people respected Eisenhower; so did 
the press. The American people loved 
John F. Kennedy: so did the press. The 
‘American people were suspicious of Lyn- 
don Johnson; so was the press, About 
half the American people don't seem to 
like Richard ? and that's probably 
the breakdown in the press. 

Popular Presidents get a good press, 
and even a popular action by an unpop- 
ular President will get a good press. 
The Nixon Administration may believe 
that it's dealing with a hostile press, but 
what about the eral reaction to 
деге visit to Peking? Or to the 
wage-price freeze? In truth, the Nixon 


on 


down the war, 


nd most of the newspa- 
pers and radio and television programs 
are treating him with respect on that 
issue. His foreign policy, from disarma- 
ment to the N . is reported 


got a very bad press when he sent the 
names of Haynsworth and Carswell up 
to the 5 


even some Nixon loyalists admit that 
the two nominations were a mistake. In 
fact, the President is not getting the 
critical attention he dese-ves in the areas 
of race, poverty and the cities. 

The attacks on the press and on tele- 


vision by Agnew and other politicians 
are m 


le in defense of an Administra- 
t has, in the main. been treated 
with fairness. To what degree is that 
fairness a result of the Agnew attacks? 
From where I sit, the wer is—not 
much. The network news programs seem 
to be operating as they were before the 
attacks. The major newspapers and mag- 
azines seem about as they were, although 
one or two conservative columnists are 
doing beter, in terms of circulation, 
than before the Agnew attacks. That's 
good, and if Agnew is responsible, he 
deserves our thanks. But in news cover- 
age generally, we have not entered 
an Agnew era of a muzzled and subser- 
vient press. The disastrous “incursion” 


into Laos is an example: That was a 
gamble that failed badly, and there was 
no lack of critical comment (partially 
caused by the Governments own heavy- 
handed attempt to restrict the coverage). 

Yet, having said this, no journalist is 
unaware of the hostility toward our 
craft t exists in the minds of many 
Americans. Its difficult to say whether 
this is growing or diminishing, A recent 
Harris Poll on the public's confidence in 
the network newscasts was very encour- 
ng. but the overall indications 
mixed. The fact is that the world is in 
a period of hard times, and most of the 
news is bad. This makes life especially 
hard for television. journalists, since we 
are the ones in the living rooms cvery 
night with the bad news. 

It's especially hard because the televi- 
sion set is a brutal way to get the news. 
You can read a newspaper when you 
want to: you have to take a television 
report when we give it to you. You can 
skip the war news in a newspaper and 
read only the comics, if thats your 
mood. The options on a television news 
program are to sit through the war new 
or to turn off the program. You can't 
duck it. or put it away for another time. 

This situation isn't going to change 
until we get some good news, and 
there isn't much of that on the horizon 
The end of the Vietnam war is likely to 
help, but offsetting that could be a series 


е 


of nasty political campaigns this year. 
The cities are still falling apart, crime is 
a disaster, the blacks and other minorities 
are still shut out of the mainstream and 
millions of young people are trying to 
get some genuine satisfaction out of a 
dehumanizing life. 
inst this background, there is no 
of politicians willing to say 
that the divisions in our society are the 
result of the news media telling it like 
it isn't: powerful men in both parties will 
do that if they get into political trouble. 
There is no shortage of true believers, 
right-wing and left-wing, who condemn 
the media because the centrist American 
press does not share nor fully reflect their 
views. And there is no shortage of weak, 
venal and incompetent newspapers and 
television news programs, particularly on 
a local level, that make thoughtful citi- 
zens question their sources of information 
This is a distressing combination, es- 
pecially in a time of intense social chang 
lt has been said that journalism should 
give men a picture of the world upon 
which they can act. That has never been 
more difficult than it is today. The most 
important clement of journalism is trust: 
trust between sources and journalists, 
trust between journalists and the public. 
And trust, alas, is what we seem to have 
too little of these days. 


Zippo windproof lighters 
make lasting 1 ts. 


¿Y wotk, or we fix 


| 
| 
] 


lem free. 


Mf. Co., Bradíojd, Pa. 18701. Conoda: Zippe Mfg. Ce. of Canada, d. 


pu 


PLAYBOY 


218 


THER mesg) 


idegram fall to the floor as Shelley 
handed me a list of names the telegram 
had been sent to: 

Time. Life. Newsweek. Scribner's. Si 
mon & Schuster. The New York Times. 
The Christian Science Monitor. The 
Times of London. Le Monde. Paris- 
Match. One of the Rockefellers, Some of 
the Kennedys. CBS. NBC. MGM. Wa 
ner Bros. 20th Century-Fox. And on and 
on and on. The list was as long as my 
deepening melancholy 

Shelley Capon tossed an armful of 
answering telegrams onto the table near 
the cage. I leafed through them quickly. 
Everyone, but everyone, was in the 
ir, right now. Jets were streaming in 
from all over the world. In another two 
hours, four, six at the most, Guba would 
be swarming with agents, publishers, fools 
and plain damn fools, plus counterespio- 
zc "iduapers and blonde starlets who 
oped to be in fre photographs 
with the bird on their shoulders. 

І figured I had maybe a good half 


REFUNDS 


how 
di 


left in which to do something, 1 
t know what. 

Shelley nudged my arm. "Who sent 
you. dear boy? You are the very first, 
yon know. Make a fine bid and you're 
in free, maybe. I must consider othe 
offers, of course. But it might get thick 


1d nasty here. I begin to panic at what 
I've done. I may wish to sell cheap and 
flee. Because, well, think, there's the 


ig this bird out of the 
nultaneousls. 


problem of getti 


ame on behali of someone 
on my own. From now 
on, anyway, its just me and the bird 
I've icad Papa all my life. Now I know 
1 came just because I had 10.” 
“My God, an altruist!” 
"Sorry to offend you, Shelley 
The phone rang. Shelley got 
chatted happily for a moment, 


He 
told 


"I want to return my water bed. It grees me wet dreams.” 


someone to wait downstairs, hung up 
and cocked an eyebrow at me: "NBC is 
in the lobby. They want an hour's taped 
i w with El Córdoba there. They're 
talking six figures.” 

My shoulders slumped. The phone 
rang. This time, 1 picked it up, to my own 


helley cried out. But I said, 


said a man's voice, “There is 

a Señor Hobbwell here from Time, he 

says, magazine” I could see the parrots 

face on next week's cover, with six follow- 

up pages of text. 
Tell him to wai 

Newsweek?" guessed Shelley. 

‘The other one," I said. 

he snow was fine up in the shadow 

of the hill" said the voice under the 


I hung up. 


Shut up," I siid qu 
“Oh, shut up, damn you." 

Shadows appeared in the doorway be 
hind us. Shelley Capon’s friends were 
beginning to assemble and wander into 
the room. They gathered and I began to 
tiemble and sweat 

For some reason, 1 began to rise to my 

My body was going to do some- 
g. I didn’t know what. I watched my 
nds, Suddenly, the right hand reached 
out. It knocked the cage over. snapped 
the wire-frame door wide and darted in 
to seize the parrot. 

“No!” 

There w: 
single thunderous wave h 
a shore. Everyone in the room seemed 
knocked in the stomach by my action 
Everyone exhaled. took a step, began to 
yell, but by then, I had the parrot out. I 
had it by the throat. 
No! No!” Shelley jumped at me. 1 


Чу, wearily 


kicked him in the shins. He sat down, 
screaming. 
“De пуопе move!” I said amd al- 


most laughed, hearing myself use the old 
cliché. "You ever sce a chicken killed? 
This parrot has a thin neck. One twist. 
The head comes off. Nobody move a 
hair." Nobody moved. 

"You son of a bitch.” 
ipon, on the Поз 
For a moment, I thought they were 
g to rush me. I saw my 
h, yelli 


id. Shelley 


goi 
and c 
cannibals vin: 
Tennessee Williams style. shoes 
my skeleton, which wou 
plaz 


ied 


I felt sorry for 


be found 
dawn tomorrow. 

But they did not hit, pummel nor kill 
As long as I had my fingers around the 
neck of the parrot who met Papa, I knew 
1 could stand there forever. 

I wanted with all my heart, soul and 
guts to wring the bird's neck and throw 
iis disconnected carcass into those pale 
and gritty faces. I wanted to stop up 
the past and destroy Papa's preserved 


memory forev 
played with by feeble-minded children 
like these 

But I could not, for two reasons. One 
dead parrot would mean one dead duck: 
me. And 1 was weeping inside for Papa. 
imply could mot shut off his voice 
transcribed. here, held in my hands, still 
alive, like an old Edison record. I could 
not kill. 

If these ancient children had known 
that, they would have swarmed over me 
like locusts. But they didn't know. And, 
I guess, it didn't show in my face. 

"Stand back!” I cried. 

Ir was that beautiful last scene from 
The Phantom of the Opera where Lon 
Chaney, pursued through midnight Par- 
is, turns upon the mob, lifts his clenched 
fist as if it contained an explosive and 
holds the mob at bay for one terrific 
instant. He laughs, opens his hand to 
show it empty and then is driven to his 
death in the river. . . . Only I had no 
intention of letting them see an empty 
hand. I kept it close around El Córdoba's 
scrawny neck. 

“Clear a path to the door!” They 


cleared a path. 
“Not а move, not a breath, If any- 


swoons, this bird 


onc so much as 
dead forever and no rights, no movies, 
Shelley, bring me the cage and 


no photo 
the shawl. 

Shelley € 

me the cage 
yelled. 
Everyone jumped back another foot. 
n he " I said. "After I've 
got away and have hidden out, one by 
one each of you will be called to have 
his chance to meet Papa's friend here 
and cash in on the headlines.” 

I was lying. I could hear the lie. I 
hoped they couldn't. I spoke more 
quickly now, to cover the lie: “I'm going 
to start walking now. Look. See? I have 
the parrot by the neck. He'll stay alive as 
long as you play ‘Simon say" my way. 
Here we go, now. One. two. One, two. 
Halfway to the door.” I walked among 
them and they did not breathe. “One, 


edged over and brought 
nd its cover. “Stand off!" I 


two.” I said, my heart beating in my 
mouth, “At the door. Steady. No sudden 
moves. Cage in one hand. Bird in the 


other” 

he lions ran along the beach on the 
yellow sand, d the parrot, his throat 
moving under my fingers. 

“Oh, my God,” said Shelley, crouched 
there by the table. Tears began to 
pour down his face. Maybe it 
all money. Maybe some of it was Papa 
for him, too. He put his hands out in a 
beckoning, come. gesture to me, the 
parrot, the cage. "Oh, God, oh, God. 
He wept. 

"There was only the carcass of the 
great fish lying by the pier, its bones 
picked dean in the morning light,” stid 


“Т don't know; just lucky, I guess. People 
always seem to be casting pearls before me." 


said everyone softly. 

I didn't wait to see if any more of 
them were weeping. 1 stepped out. 1 
shut the door. I ran for the clevator. By 
a miracle, it was there, the operator half 
sleep inside. No one tried to follow. I 
guess they knew it was no use. 

On the way down, I put the parrot 
inside the cage and put the shawl 
marked мотнев over the cage. And the 
elevator moved slowly down through the 
years 1 thought of those years ahead 
and where I might hide the parrot and 
keep him warm against any weather 
and feed him properly and once a day 
go-in and talk through the wl. and 
nobody ever to see him, no papers, no 
magazines, no cameramen. mo Shelley 
Capon, not even Antonio from the 
Cuba Libre. Days might go by or week 
and sudden fears might come over me 
that the parrot had gone dumb. Then, 
in the middle of the night, I might wake 
and shuffle in and stand by his cage and 
say? 

Ialy, 1918 2 2” 

And beneath the word MOTHER, an 

old voice would say: “The snow drifted 
off the edges of the mountain in a fine 
white dust that winter. . . .” 
Africa, 1932. 
We got the rifles out and oiled the 
rifles and they were blue and fine and 
Jay in our hands and we waited in the 
tall grass and smiled——' 

‘Cuba. The Gulf Sure 

“That fish came out of the water aud 
jumped as high as che sun. Everything 1 
had ever thought about a fish was in 
that fish. Everything T had ever thought 
about a single leap was in that leap. All 


of my life was there. It was a day of sum 
E nd being alive. I wanted to 
hold it all sill in my hands. I didn't 
want it to go away, ever. Yet there, as 
the fish fell and the waters moved over it 
white and then green, there it went. . . ." 

By that time, we were at the lobby 
level and the elevator doors opened and 
I stepped out with the cage labeled 
MOTHER and walked quickly across the 
lobby and out to a taxicab. 

The trickiest business—and my great- 
est danger—remained. I knew that by 
the time I got to the airport, the guards 
and the Castro militia would have been 
alerted. 1 wouldn't put it past Shelley 
Capon to tell them that a national treas- 
ure was getting away. He might even cut 
Castro in on some of the Book-of-the 
Month Club revenue and the mov 
tights, I had to a plan to get 
through customs. 

Iam a literary man. however, and the 
answer came to me quickly. I had the 
taxi stop long enough for me to buy 
some shoe polish. I began to apply the 
rdoba. 


id, bending down to 
per into the cage as we drove across 
“Nevermor 

I repeated it several times to give him 
the idea. The sound would be new to hi 
because, I guessed, P: 
quoted a middleweight contender he h 
knocked out years ago. There was silence 
under the shawl while the word w 
recorded. 

Then, at last, it came back to me. “Nev- 
ermore,” in Papa's old, familiar, tenor 
voice, “nevermore, 


a would never ha 


219 


DR. LEON SPEROFF chemical deliverance 


SINCE THOSE Testy Washington hearings on the pill, many 
women have come to question both the safety and the 
security of nearly every existing means of birth control. 
Doctors are facing an analogous impasse in trying to find a 
safe pharmacological substitute for the high costs and occasion- 
al dangers inherent in even the most strictly supervised surg 
cal abortions. Extending the options through his work with 
compounds called prostaglandins is Dr. Leon Speroll. assist 
ant professor of obstetrics and gynecology and director of 
the Gynecologic Endocrine Lab Yale Medical School, 

andins may onc day we 
Speroff, the 36-year-old son of Macedon 
tes them now as abortion agi 
Science isn't sure how the substano 
= found they influence hormone product 
ry.” Such hormones. Speroff explains. ave instrument 


a variety of ills. 
1 imm 
ad contr: 
work,” he says. 
n in the 
10 


we 
ov 


with no adverse alterelfects among 75 percent of the pregnant 
women tested. And with impending abortion reform. the 
need for nonsurgical abortion is urgent. The hormonal effects 
of prostaglandins are what inspired Speroll to test them as 
contraceptives. “There's the possibility," he says, “that with 
periodic dosage. perhaps once à month, prostaglandins can 
negate the uncertainties and hazards of the daily pill." In the 
meantime, he is convinced а 100 percent safe prostaglandin is 
at least three years away and, rather than wait for it, Sperolk. 
the father of three, has undergone a vasectomy. "Other means 
continue to be researched,” he says, “but no course is more 
worth pursuing than fertility regulation. There is no other 
went existing that can promise i 


much as prostaglandi 
the way of safe fertility control and safe abortions on an ou 
patient or at-home basis.” We hope 


PAUL WILLIAMS ıceler-dealer 


A FUNKY-LOOKING 28-year-old director may look out of place 
plishment studio such as Warner Bros., but there's 
no question that Paul Williams, Phi Beta Kappa, Har- 
ard 165, knows the movie business as well as he does the 
subject of his latest film. Directing Michacl and Dougla 
Crichton's Dealing, or the Berkeley-to-Boston Forty-Brick Lost- 
Bag Blues—first published in rrAvsoy—Williams was able to 
draw heavily on his own college experiences, just as he had 
capitalized on his personal background in the first two films 
he made. Soon after graduation, Williams began making short 
films and documentaries while srudyiug fine art at Trinity Hall 


Cambrid land. But it was London that he met 
Edward Pressman, a student at the London School of Econom 
i h whom he joined forces to produce Girl, a Golde: 


Award-wi 
since—Will 


g short. They've worked together ever 

g 3 Within two 
years of Girl, Williams was directing his first major film, Out 
of It. which stared Barry Gordon and a then-unknown actor 
named Jon Voight and which was based on Williams adoles- 
cent years in suburban Massapequa, New York. Voight also 
starred in Williams second major production, The Revolu 


s directing., Pressman produc 


tionary. about a young man's radicalization. "Alter doing tha 
film." says Williams, “I began to think / was a revolutionary. 


So I worked on а docum y with Eldridge Cleaver in Al- 
geria. I never completed that film, but I did learn that I wa 
in way over my head.” ally, he adds, “the main chi 
ter in Dealing must come to grips with that same realization 
when he gets into a very heavy drug scene.” Williams undoubt- 
«Шу will score ah h the film, which should assure studio 
backing lor other projects, among them a film dramatizati 

ail Sheehy's recent article in New York magazine, 
1 the Life of a 24-Hour Worldbeater. 
s is proving to be quite a world-beater 


director, Willi: 


JACK SHELTON Anife-and-fork nader 


IT WAS WHILE WORKING as a kitchen helper in a fraternity 
house—of all places—that Jack Shelton got interested in 
food. “I would read cookbooks in the library, then feed my 
experiments to 40 guinea pigs that night.” When he saw, as 
a San Francisco advertising executive, that friends felt ambiv 
lent about “the entire experience of dining out,” and didn't 
share his encyclopedic knowledge of what and where to eat, 
ime educating fellow diners, 


he decided to spend part of his 
Jack Shelton's Private Guide to Restaurants, a monthly cight- 
page newsletter, began five years ago as a Bay Arca Bacdcker 
but soon expanded to include occasional critiques of restau- 
rants as far from San Francisco as Honolulu. His editorial recipe 
—combining firsechair experti: 
with the spice of total, eloquent candor —makes exch issue as 
rich as a chocolate mousse. If he loves a place, his narrative 
runs on lyrically for pages; overrated restaurants—he visits each 
three times before pronouncing judgment—are verbally de- 
stroyed. (He once proposed that the city of New Orleans take 
over revered Antoine's and restore its vanished excellence.) 
Shelton, 48, is as proud of favorable reviews that “have saved 
five or six places from going under” as he is of his memorable 
demolition jobs. Rumors exist of a restaurateurs’ bounty on his 
photo; he makes it a point to use a pseudonym when he makes 
reservations. “I don't know about a bounty,” he says, "bur т 
cently 1 saw а photographer hiding behind a tree in my yard. 
Dining undetected—to ensure honest food and service—olten 
requires Mission: Impossible tactics: Learning that an owner 
who knew him spent Tuesday evenings at the opera, Shelton 
visited on Tuesday, He tells his readers “not to be intimidated” 
while eating out; so when he hears a customer complaining that 
the meat is overdone, Shelton is doubly pleased, for he 
feels that “a demanding diner, like a properly cooked steak, 
is extremely rare.” He's trying to make for more of both. 


and 


n epicure's perfectionism 


PANAVISION 


221 


PLAYBOY 


“Please, Mr. Faversham, not here! Not in the cranberry sauce!!” 


Wi BUSTED)! (continued from page 206) 


nd of man thinks it is not punishing a 
parent to put her son in jail with hard- 
ened criminals? 

Mis Brown contrived to 


see 


supplics. She 
ched, day by day, the changes taking 
place in him with dismaying rapidity. 
Early in Chris's stay, his fellow prison. 
ers complaints broke out in a mini 
revolt—men hammering at their bars and 
crying for redress to a thousand griev- 
ances, real and imagined, private and 
ed, Their plight angered Chris (con- 
vinced from his own case that the law 
could be blind and quel) and thi 
nce exhilarated him. “Hell, he was 
only seventeen years old,” his father says 
"He had never seen anything like 
this before. It excited him." Chris wrote 
a leuer to his parents, a glowing 
new chapter, he thought, in the prison 
literature of our era, describing the 
wronged men and their captors. Prison 


censors read the letter, called in his 
parents, warned them that their son 
showed signs of being a criminal type 


(well, what other type belongs in jail?) 
nd kept the letter on file. His jailers 
would release him one day a weck to 
go to а psychiatrist. Happy to get him 
out on any terms, the Browns agreed. 
They took him to sessions with a psych 
trist at the Army hospital nearby—the 
Browns, both skilled with pen and pen- 
cil, as family drawings all over their 
home testify, are civilian cartographers 
working for the Department of Defe 
and lived in a compound on the Army 
base. The psychiatrist stressed Chris's 
duty to his parents, the disproportion 
between any pleasure he might get from 
pot and the anguish he caused his family. 
Chris played the game, with a develop- 
og sense of irony—he had nowhere found 


Brown wor bout 
. his other son, who ran the 
me crowd as Chris had. Local police, 
responding to community sentiment. 
were dogging that crowd now. Brown felt 
it was only a matter of time before Marc, 
now a high school junior, would get the 
same initiation into criminality that Ch 
was undergoing. Marc м: 
than Chris—taller, blonder—and prob- 


ably more talented, but was content to 
follow in his brother’s footsteps. treating 
him as а hero. In his preschool days, he 


drew very well, a tal 
both parents; but wh 
home stick-man draw 
garten, rude first efforts that had been 
praised by his teacher, Mare gave up his 
own style and mimicked these cruder 
works. He was thoughtful and accom- 


nt descended from 
1 Chris brought 
gs from kinder- 


was expected of him. 
Though he played baseball well, he 


seemed to “blow” games when his team 
was expected not to win. He “got along” 
too well. considering the company he was 
getting along in, Aside from that, Mrs. 
Brown for years had wanted to send Mare, 
the family's best student, to a school that 
would test abilities. Despite his 
good grades, he was bored at the local 
school, where he could get away with 
anything. The Browns therefore asked 


round and were told of a strict m 
school that “straightened out” other 
drifting kids from the area—so the 


Browns moved fast. (Four weeks of the 
fall term had already clapsed) "They 
telephoned, wrote, bought, put 
Marc on the plane; and turned back to 
Chris's problem. 

Brown went to the dean of the local 
College and to some professors, but it 
did no good—Chris had exceeded the 
cut allowance in cach course during his 

s їп jail. He was out of school, 
meant, in that locale, out of 
ything. There were few civilian jobs 
ny sort and even fewer left m 


still 


t hdp 
him.” the m ch told his parents, 
"if he is going to keep using pot.” Yet 
pot was supposed to be problem. 
The doctor's attitude seemed to be: 
"Don't come to me unless you don't 
have that problem—and then, of course, 
you won't need to come to me.” Catch- 
29%. The Browns feel the doctor was 
afraid of being charged with complicity 
if he knew Chris continued to smoke 
pot. The same law that divided Chris 
from his parents now divided him from 
his doctor—was slowly dividing him 
from any society but that of convicts, 

So now his parents knew he still 
smoked pot: knew, as well, that the 
danger of a second arrest was acute and 
knew this second offense would mean at 
least a six-month sentence—a real break 
in his life—with college deferred again 
(perhaps forever) as he served a term in 
Federal prison, not the local jai 

The best thing, they felt, was to get 
him into school, if only on a part-time 
basis. One school they had earlier con- 
sidered was the University of Maryland 
—Chris wanted to go there because his 
fiend, daughter of a military man, 
had moved with her family to V 
ton. So Chris was sent there to enroll 
(part time, if he could) for the fall 
term, or full time in the spring. But it 
was too late to enzoll; instead, he took a 
job at the Library of Congress gr 
very close to liis girlfriend and her fam 
ly and blew a lot of grass with the gi 
(who had begun using it before he did). 

Marc, meanwhile, hated milit 


school and missed his home; yet his 
grades were still good. He crammed for 
exams with the help of рер pills, 
smoked the readily available pot, tried 
meth" to cope with the boredom of a 
place scholastically inferior to his old 
school. He spent that Easter with a 
classmate, the son of a clergyman, in 
id. in the preacher’s house 
took his first LSD trip. "Sending him 
there was the worst thing I could have 
done,” Brown sees now, looking back 
Marc also spent part of the next sum- 
mer in Cincinnati, with his friend—and 
with LSD. He came home in time to enter 
senior year at the local high school, 
though; no more military school for him. 

He was already in school when Chris. 
100, came back—he had tried to stay in 
Washington, near his girl, but the par- 
ents of boys Chris had turned on in his 
home town wrote to Washington, war 
g the girl's father about him, The man 
threatened Chris with arrest for givî 
his daughter marijuana. (There was 
parent who found the law useful.) Chris 
had again retumed too late for the fall 
term at the local college and had to wait 
three months to enroll, He did sma 
chores, went surfing every da 
rands, baby-sat with his sister Lisi. 

The family got through that Chr 
mas intact, though with uneasiness. Chris 
was breaking the law and they knew it. 
They also knew he was being watched 
—by other parents, by the local police 
Knowing this, they watched him, too, to 
see if he was giving himself away to 
those who would report him or lock him 
up. And he felt their scrutiny, equated 
it with that of the faceless others he felt 
hounded and pursued by. So, with silent 
helpless half-gestures and covert looks. 
they passed new mild forms of pa 
around to one another at every 
each ly gathering, every time onc 
came in the door or went out. Had 
Barbara, 14 now, started yet? Was Marc 
back on pot? Would Chris get caught? 
Even young Lisi felt inexplicable cur- 
rents of fear, suspicion, pity, hestility, 
running from member to member of he 
family. They all lived now—directly or 
vicariously—outside the law. "under 
ground," yet terribly exposed and blind, 
like moles without their cover of e; 


1 

The apprehension centered on Chris. 
with his circle of pot-smoking friends, in 
which he was so popular. But Marc was 
in deeper trouble. Always a loner, he 
struck off into the woods by himself, all 
that fall, dropping acid sent to him 
by friends, Yet he did not become notice- 
ably erratic till after Christmas. 

Chris. to get back into the local cok 
lege after servi 1 sentence, needed 
a special di 


«Кей him up: 
“Chris lied through his teeth, and I 
knew it—said he was off pot and would 
ne go back on it.” But Brown felt he 


223 


PLAYBOY 


224 put Ch 


must get Chris into school, stop his life 
of drifting with nothing to do. 

Then Marc, who had been looking 
odd, took off—got out of the car one 
day as Chris was driving, wandered into 
the woods and was not seen for 36 
hous, from carly Sunday morning to 
10:30 Monday night. A heavy dose of 
acid had stayed with him, had grown 
more intense; for almost а week, he had 
struggled back toward earth but could 
not touch down; he tried to go about ordi- 
nary activities and mot show what 
strange things were loose in his halluci- 
nating mind as he went to class, watched 
the surf, threw the javelin at a track 
meet, ate with his parents. He had not 
made it down, so he was surrendering at 


last—in the woods, he took olf his 
clothes and went into a stream, dreamily 
е, wanting to die. "But some- 


kept pushing me back toward 
he told his mother later, "Always 
g kept me moving, a scratch, a 
bite, the cold." He heard. e bark and 
two giant eyes loomed in his path; but 
he ready to fight for his life—he 
grabbed something and hit the beast 
between its huge eyes. 

It was a police wagon, driven there in 
answer to reports of a naked boy in the 
area, its lights left on while police 
searched for him in the dark. They 
found him, when they returned to the 
wagon, beating on its hood with a stick. 
The Browns picked him up at the police 
station, took him home (still hallucinat- 
ing) for clothes, a shower, some sleep; 
then off to a local mental-health center, 
where he could be drugged out of 
own drugs, drugged into reality (of a 
sort) and le part of a group-therapy 
program aimed at bracing its partici- 
pants for life without drugs. Soon he 
was back in high school, returning to 
the hospital after the class day for more 
sessions and tranquilizers and study- 
and for the inevitable search, on his 
return, to see that he brought nothing 
back in with him. 


That search became important to 
Brown now—he had just learned that 
others besides irate parents or zealous po- 
ice were watching his son. Since the 


Browns worked on a military base, they 
had to follow security procedures. After 
Marc's recovery, though no criminal 
charges had been pressed, military intel- 
ence Шей Brown, wanting to ask 
Marc where he got the acid, Brown let 
them know his son was sick and should 
be left alone, The head of Brown's 
program was then told he had been un- 
cooperative. Under such scrutiny, Brown 
felt his other son, Chris, had no chance. 


He was bound to be caught, 
suggested itself. ТЕ 


But a solution 
Mare could be an outpatient of the 
tal-health center, be kept off drugs 
while attending high school, why not 
is in also, to undergo group 


therapy while he attended his first col- 
lege classes—and to be searched for 
drugs on his return every afternoon to 
the hospital? Chris resisted but did not 
refuse. He was willing to talk it over 
with the head of the hospital, a woman 
doctor. “The woman came on strong, 
really told Chris off,” Brown remembers, 
and Chris bridled. The doctor was for 
committing him; Brown took him out- 
side and asked that he do this, part 
time, “I'd rather go to prison for six 
months" Chris said—and Brown, fecl- 
ing desperate, made his greatest mistake. 
To save him from worse imprisonment 
by the he sent his son to this 
benign looking “prison” full time. 

Now both sons were in the hospital 
and the elder one was dropped again 
from the rolls of the local college. Both 
behaved well, though, and began g 
home for weckends, surfing together 
picnicking with the family. Chris was 
“freed” on a parttime basis, working 
eight hours a day at the local employ- 
ment office, with another outpatient from 
the hospital. Ihe Browns often took the 
two of them to lunch at a favorite 
restaurant, breaking up the workday for 
them. Chris took nothing back to the 
hospital with him—he and his fellow 
patient had arranged to get and take 
their "speed" on the job. 

There was one more summer together, 
the last one, not too bad. The boys were 
both out now, both enrolled in the local 
college, already tal 
and their grades were good. But Chi 
had picked up a 16-year-old girlfriend: 
and had turned her on. The thera- 
py sessions continued, but Chris knew 
that they were just a game. When he 
smoked pot in the bathroom, he turned 
on the exhaust fan—and Brown, going 
outside, smelled the stuff, looking nerv- 
ously around for others who might catch 
a whiff, “You get kinda paranoid.” 

At the last summer meeting with 
Chris's new psychiatrist, Brown suggest- 
ed that Chris attend the fall term as a 
parttime patient of the hospital. Chris 
had not expected this—after his first 
day's dass, he ran away. His 16-year-old 
girl told her mother she was on pot and 
asked to live at the mental-health center 
while attending high school—she hoped 
that would bring Cl back and she 
could be with him. Instead, he found 
her at school and she disippeared as 
well. 

Now Brown had Marc wanting to 
leave home (the local college was not 
challenging cnough for him), Chris 
gone, his girlfriend's parents blaming 
him and college entices to be lined up 
again (if he could find his other son 
before too much of the fall term had 
gone by). Marc had heard good things 
about the University of Hawaii 
planned to get seaman’s papers and 
work his way there from New Orleans. 


g Summer courses, 


Brown gave him money for the plane. 

Police found Chris and his girl in the 
shack of a professional drug peddler and 
they were returned to the hospital— 
where military police served Chris pa- 
pers banning him from the entire base 
on which, technically, his parents’ home 
stood. Similar papers came for Marc. 
Brown asked what Marc had done—and 
was told he collaborated with Chris. The 
Browns now believe their phone was 
tapped—for Chris had called Mare to gee 
clothes out of his house. 

Chris was now in the maximu 
rity section of the mental hospital, 
runaway. Violent cases are kept there 
and he had three fights with them. 
Brown, having put him in there, now 
worked hard to get him out. Chris was 
freed and went off—not interested any 
longer in college. Marc. alone in New 
Orleans, called his friend in Cincinnati 
—and ended up there. Chris, when last 
heard of, was hanging out near Berkeley. 
Neither writes home. 

“I should never have sent them away 
to school,” Brown now says bitterly. “It 
would have been a thousand times bet- 
ter to keep them with us. I shouldn't 
have put Chris in the hospital. But I 
was trying to find some sanctuary for 
them, some refuge from the law. Every- 
thing I did was done from fear of the 
law.” He has become obsessed with the 
marijuana laws. He admits his case is 
special in some ways—the military nosed 
in and made things worse. But every 
family has some social or career pres 
sure, superadded to the law's effect. Be- 
sides, the military came in long after the 
civil authorities had jailed Chris and set 
in motion all the family's reactions, each 
one futile or self-defeating, each one 
motivated by fear of new arrests and 
worse penalties. It was secing Chris in 
jail, seeing what it did to him, fearing 
jail would touch their other children, 
that made the Browns act desperately 
through the course of three years they 
Jook back on, now, as one continuous 
nightmare—one that has not ended and 
probably never will. 

Chris had told Brown all about mari- 
juana after his mother found it in his 
room. He had collected articles and re- 
pons on the subject; Brown read these 
while Chris was in jail, and got angry. If 
pot is harmful, he believes, it is not bad 
cnough—not even by the worst accounts 
of it—to put him and his wife and his 
boys through what they suffered. In all 
his own mistaken actions, he never made 
the mistake of panicking over “the evil 
weed." He not put Chris in the 
mental hospital to cure him of pot, 
which he did not fear, but to keep him 
from the law, which he feared, perhaps, 
too much. 

Brown began a private energetic cam- 
paign against the law (which is what first 


sect 
sa 


brought him to my attention). He wrote 
letters to Congress, to all its relevant 
committees, to local officials and Federal 
bureaus, to newspapers and magazines, 
asking for the law's repeal drawing 
attention to new medical reports, pro- 
grams, information, hard cases. It is a 
labor of purgation, partly. He knows he 
can do nothing further to help his own 
sons—except, perhaps, get Chriss con 
viction expunged from the record. But 
he might help other families escape the 
nightmare, When he reads that some 
legislator thinks it cnough to demote 
possession of marijuana from a felony to 
à misdemeanor, he is at his typewriter, 
telling that man what happened to his 
children and to many of their friends in 
an arca where possession was already a 
misdemeanor, When others use bad sta- 
tistics, bad logic, to spread horror stories 
bout pot, Brown is on them in an 
instant. Senator Marlow Cook answered 
one of his letters with the argument that 
a should be kept illegal because 
a stronger form of it was being used 
in Viemam and brought back. Brown 
proved from the very committee testi 
mony Cook referred to that the “stronger’ 
s actually marijuana mixed 
h other opiates, that, even so, “bad 
trips” occurred to only three tenths of 
one percent of the heavy users and that 
war conditions could well aggravate ef- 
fects of pot. 

When others said men might steal to 
buy pot, he came back: ‘The average 
marijuana user spends less than a dollar 
a day, against $30 to 5200 a day for the 
heroin user. And besides, lega n 


would make thc use of marijuana ap- 
proximate mere cigarette smoking—how 
many people steal to support their ciga- 


rete habit? If one is interested in law 
enforcement, Brown says, wl 
the nation's completely overwor 
atly rcoties squads 
from petty tactics against teens and twen- 
ties pot smokers?” 

When people use statistics to show 
heroin users “started” with pot (in г 
ty. that means they have also used or 
sull use it), he is ready to dispute such 
figures: “To make a clear and honest 
picture, there should be a head count of 
all who have ever experimented with 
pot and compare this amount with the 
‘ones who have then gone on to heroin 
use. I believe the percentage would be 
so low as to be almost meaningless.” 

When people sty pot causes violence 
or Vietnam atrocities, he writes of 
own experience of war: “Combat, the 
shooting at and the killing of fellow 
n beings, is absolutely dehumaniz- 
. .. [In World War Two] after we 

ıken a German line and were 
passing through it, I walked coldly by a 
wounded German who was pale from а 
bleeding wound and begging for a d 
of water. Under almost amy othe 


not 


con: harassed n 


“Joe, is that the extent of your interest, 
wondering which of us will be first?” 


cumstance, I would have given water to 
that fellow human in need. . . . I sin- 
cercly believe that if I had used pot . . . 
1 would have given the water to the 
wounded soldier.” 

Brown, of course, wants all pot laws 
struck down, Lowering the penalty, ad- 
sing therapy, improving public educa- 
tion—these are worthless palliative: 
none would have altered his sons’ cases. 
Indeed, he asks for more than the laws’ 
abolition. He recommends an amnesty 
that would crase all pot conyictions—or, 
at the least, all convictions for mere pos- 
session (as in the case of ] 
“Chris is only a paper crimi 
all... all he wanted to do м 
non-physically addicting pot instead of 
cigarettes (a habit millions of humans 
all over the world find impossible to 
break) or to drink liquor (with its 
6,000,000 alcoholics)." And while the laws 
are being struck down (or studied), 
while the nature of pot itself is und 
investigation, he asks—very m bly 
—for a moratorium on the laws’ enforce- 
ment. As Mrs. Brown says, "A parent 
cannot even purchase or sample mari- 


alter 
5 to smoke 


son 


ju to know what the kids are talking 
about, to see for themselves what its 
effect is.” The law-abiding parent is the 


one kept in the dark, liable to be 
uninformed and panicky about the drug 
and, therefore, prone 10 overreact. 

It is a lonely business, speaking out of 
personal tragedy to men proud of “the 
law's delays" Back from Scnate offices 


came politic cpistles—hedged, timorous 
things, promising nothing, praising 
Brown for good citizenship. The facile 


expressions of sympathy: “I share your 
(Do you? How many 


conce 
sons have you lost to the la 


) Judi- 


cious, meaningless agreement: "I certain- 
ly think [how brave and forthright the 
formula] the matter merits further inves 
tigation, . . ." АП the minimizing stalls 
and substitutes for action: “Probably very 
serious . . . deserves attention . . . en- 
closed is a statement . . . greater not less 
effort . . . blue-ribbon study." Each an- 
swer a shove of the thing three steps 
further off from solution: a law "now 
pending .. . would establish a commission 
оп marijuana to conduct a study . . . [as a] 
first step in answering the questions." 

And, most heartbreaking of all, the 
standardized letter geared to other par 
ents’ concern with the evil of drugs—Sen- 
ator Charles Percy assuring Brown he 
П work for “stiffer penalties for drug 
and Senator W; 
thanking him for his letter “mging my 
support of action to prevent legalization 
of ma na"! Yet even that obtuse- 
s is better than the smug things said 
by “ha ers” on the issue. Mark Hat- 
field, one of those “Enclosed-is-a-state- 
ment” answerers, thinks the solution is 
“instilling of a strong moral fiber in our 
youth,” and he reminds Brown—Brown, 
who did everything to observe the law, 
defer to it, exact conformity with й 
from his sons—that “it is important that 
we recognize the necessity of. complying 
with the Jaw as it stands, while it stands. 
Your son's experience is an unfortunate 
one, but while drug usage is illegal, 
justice can only be rendered on the basis 
of that legal norm.” Just Brown's point 
Mr. Senator—justice can at present only 
serve that legal norm. But what kind of 
justice? What kind of norm? What kind 
of law? 

Killing kinds. 


en Magnuson 


PLAYBOY 


226 


ПАШИ EARLY LIGHT 


(continued from page 160) 
Serve with butter and maple syrup or 
with cinnamon syrup (recipe below). 


CREPES WITH RASPBERRY CREAM 
(12 crepes) 


eggs 
egg yolks 

1 cup milk 

% cup flour 

14 teaspoon salt 

Salad oil 

Seedless red-raspberry jam 

Superfine sugar 

Pour cggs, egg yolks, milk, flour and 
lt into blender and blend 1 minute at 
high speed. Stop blender and scrape 
sides, if necessary, to blend thoroughly. 
Pour enough oil into a heavy pan 6 ins. 
across bottom to coat pan lightly. Pour 
off excess oil. Place pan over moderate 
heat. Pour about 21% tablespoons batter 
into pan (just enough to coat bottom) 
and at once tilt pan to coat bottom 
completely. When crepe is light brow 
on onc side, turn and cook briefly on the 
other just long enough so that the second. 
side docsn't look raw. Continue making 
crepes in this manner until batter hı 
been used. Spread crepes on browned 
side lightly with raspberry jam, using 
about 11% teaspoons per crepe. Place 2 
scant tablespoons filling (recipe below) 
on each crepe and roll up. Place crepes 
seam down in heavily buttered crepe pan 
or shallow skillet. Cover and chill in re- 
frigerator. Before serving, reheat crepes 
over moderate heat, browning on both 
sides. Sprinkle sugar on top just before 
serving. 


5 


FILLING РОК CREPES 


1 cup milk 

14 cup heavy cream 

3 tablespoons instant flour 
М cup sugar 

1% teaspoon salt 

2 tablespoons butter 

2 egg yolks, beaten 

1% teaspoon vanill 
Pour milk and cream into saucepan. 
in flour. sugar and salt, blending 
. Add butter and cook over moder- 
ate heat, stirring constantly. until sauce 
is thick. Simmer over low heat 3 min- 
utes, stirring occasionally. Slowly stir in 
egg yolks. Cook over moderate heat 2 
minutes, stirring constandy. Remove 
from flame and stir in vanilla. Cool 
slightly before filling crepes. 


CINNAMON SYRUP 
(Makes 194, cups) 


1 cup brown sugar, firmly packed 
1% teaspoon salt 
spoon ground ci 

1 cup boiling water 

2 teaspoons cornstarch 

1 tablespoon butter 

Mix sugar, salt and cinnamon іп 
saucepan. Stir in boiling water; bring to 
a boil Dissolve cornstarch in 1 table- 
spoon cold water and stir into saucepan. 
Simmer 2 to 3 minutes. Remove from 
flame and stir in butter. 

And as the sun rises in the east, your 
guests’ spirits and appetites will rise ac 
cordingly. Its another new year and 
all's right with the world (or with your 
world, at least). 


namon 


“What wine goes well with cunnilingus?” 


PLAYBOY CAR STABLE 


(continued from page 188) 
running lights, automatic parking brake 
release, and on through a list long 
enough to boggle a maharaja. There are 
a few negatives, of coursc: Showing 5800 
miles. the last Eldorado 1 drove had an 
unacceptable level of body noise, far 
more than my 35,000mile Grand Prix 
Pontiac, à vehicle I've never thought 
quiet Tf one's much over 510% one's our 
of rearscat headroom: hated. Td say 
the limit might be 577”. The fake wood 
liberally used up front is the fakiest I've 
ever sten, so patently fraudulent that 
in а perverse way it’s amusing. How- 
ever, not to grumble. We live in parlous 
times, and what do vou want for 
under $8000—gold plating? The Eldo- 
rado remains, in the essentials, an ad- 
mirable device. 

There are occasions that can be hap- 
трей by а really unusual motor- 
nd done in 
n Edwardian mode that was twice as 
enjovable as it might otherwise have 
been because the party traveled in a 
Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost touring car fit- 
ted with a mammoth wicker basket, 
food, wine, china and silver serv. 
ice for And a summer wedding, 
the bride and groom carried from the 
church in a torpedo-bodied Bugatti. For 
kind of laudable endeavor, some- 
g pre1940 is indicated: and since, 
when pure pleasure is the primary pur- 
pose, we indine to think of a sm: 


ina 


In this overview, the range is tremendous. 
A Henley Rolls-Royce roadster? A Stutz 
Bearcat? A 1750 Zagato Alla Romeo? A 
chain-gang Frazer Nash? Or go to the top 
of the pile and take а T-head Mercer 
Raccabout? 

‘The Mercer Raceabout circa 1910-1915 
is probably the most sought-after of U. 
built iles. There are fewer than 
30 of them extant and the market price 
on them, established by а single sale 
every couple of years or so, is in the 
of $35,000-550.000. The original sticker 


itomol 


As is the case with every great motor- 
r. the Mercer was built by men much 
less concerned with profit than with qu: 
ity. The company (in Trenton, Mercer 
County, New Jersey) was founded around 
1909 by members of the wealthy Roebling 
and Kuser families, builders of the Brook. 
lyn Bridge, and designed by an engineer 
пісу Robertson Porter. 
Porter, happily, lived to be a very old 
man, lived to sce the car he had created 
become a legend object. Naturally, one is 
tempted to say, thinking of Bentley, 
Chevrolet, Buick and others, he profited 
financially very little, but his professional 
satisfaction must have been immensc. 
The charm of the Mercer in the T-head 
models (so called after the arrangement 


The down-hill racers. 


Master Charge makes a good thing better. 


So your whole family's into the 
ski thing. Well your Master 
ives you a racing 

od just about 

everywhere for just about any- 
thing. At ski shops for clothes 
and equipment. On the slopes for 
meals, rooms, lift tickets, even 
lessons. At service stations for 


master charge 


THE INTERBANK CARD 


Accepted all over town 
all over America 


gas along the way. And if you 
need pocket money, you can get 
a cash advance at any Master 
Charge bank. So get off to the 
snow. 

With Master Charge. 

If you don't have a Master 
Charge card, you can apply for 
one at any Master Charge bank 


Sur 


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Please send me items below. Indicate quantity desired. (Please add 75¢ postage and handling on all orders.) 
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RETAILER INQUIRIES INVITED. 


of the engine, one sparkplug on each 
side of the combustion chamber) is soon 
stated; It was soundly and strongly made 
of the best materials; the performance 
it offered was startling: i 
simplicity—the thing was all automol 
completely ed—was aestheti 
most appealin 
pensed with the 18inch “monocle” win 
Shield as an encumbrance! A Thea 
would do 75 miles an hour—the factory 
guaranteed thar figure, a high one for 
the time, And although it was completely 
unfussy and tractable, it was frequently 
raced: In August 1912, on a dirt track, 
the car set records at distances from 75 
to 200 miles. 


To dr Mercer is to enjoy a re 
markable ce, nearly 
unique in one's recollectioi 
one in Canada in 1948—it is still, I 
сус, the last Mercer to be 


turned up—und d been re 
stored, I put many hundreds of miles on 
it. The engi always started on one 
pull of the crank, hot or cold, the four 
big cylinders booming through the ex- 
haust cutout. The gearshift and hand- 
brake levers were outdoors; so was the 
or pedal, sticking over a brass 
тир. The Mercer was light, it 
would run like a thicf and there was 
torque to throw away: In top gear and 
with a trailing throttle, on a rise, one 
could almost count the explosions—‘once 
to the telephone pole," owners used to 
say. 

There were other models in the Mer- 
cer production of about 5000 cars before 
the company abandoned ship in the 
Twenties, but the T-head Raceabout was 
the best and deserves its compulsory 
inclusion in any list of the dozen great- 
rs we have known since the 


beginning. 
As lar from the Mercer 


one could 
get and still be on four wheels is the 
Mercedes-Benz 600. This does appear to 
be, in all sooth, the Ultimate Limousine, 
History makes liars of us all, but, in the 
present state of the art, it is hard to 
think of something better than an al 
most-dead-silent seven-pässenger automo- 
bile offering comfort that begins where 
other luxury vehicles leave off—and still 
pable of 0-60 accelera under 
ten seconds and а top speed of 125-plus 
mph, In its combination of comfort 
the 600 is 
ad, only a 

ally sports car can stay with a 
600. "Ehis is not surmise nor estimation: 
Stirling Moss once loaded a 600 with six 
passengers and took it around the short 
d difheult Brands Hatch circuit at a 
little less than five seconds under the 
racingsedan record for the course. Be- 
yond all doubt. any other limousine in 
the world, trying to stay with him, 


ion in 


would have been into the bushes, proba- 
bly upside down, in the first half mile. 

No arcana, nothing of the occult, goc 
into the 600. It is an automobile made 
by men using machine tools like any 
other, except that it was designed to be 
best and great pains are taken with it. It 
is made to individual order only, on 
separate production line. The engine is 
а fuclinjected 6.3-liter V8 of 270 hp 
а 126 to 153-inch wheelbase chas 
suspended. w 
draulic shock absorbers. Transmission is 
automatic and the power steering is 
usual in offering the front-wheel “road 
feel” without which really fast driv 
difficult. In brief. the running gear 
the quality its clients expect from the 
oldest motorcar manufactory in the 
world, with the longest competitive his- 
tory. It is in the amenities that the 600 
breaks new ground. 

Three bodies are available: five- and 
seven-passenger four-door, seven-passen- 
ger six.door. Because electric motors can- 
not be absolutely silenced, a hydraulic 
system actuates the window lifts, the 
i y front-seat 
horizontal and bi the four- 
way (horizontal and back rest) rear 
seat, the sliding roof, doors, trunk lid, and 
so on. acting through 23 push buttons 
variously distributed. Electronic temper- 
ature control standard, with inside- 
and outside-temperature gauges; so is ай 
conditioning, stereo а re 
window. There are 17 interior lights 
the car, those in the passenger compart- 


h driver-adjustable hy- 


ment set for ten-second time-lag turnoff. 


Basic design of the passenger seats was 
done by orthopedic specialists and the 
seat springs are tuned to the suspension 


to eliminate sympathetic vibration at 
ny speed. 

The rear windows are curtained, an 
oddly old-fashioned touch that is beguil- 
ng and useful in practice. 

Because cach 600 is built to order, 
variations in such things as seating а 
rangements are possible. So are fold 
ables in various cabinet wood. 
таре recorder, television, vanity sets, 
electric razor, and so on. A six-piece set 
of fitted luggage can be nested in the 
trunk. trifles will add the odd 
penny to the basic $34.500 price for the 


senger model but what of 
at? You are buying а motorcar that is 


ying 
the current choice of the sheiks of Ara 


by; the cost of traveling like a raj has 
never been low. 

As far as is known to me, Mercedes 
has refused only one client request: to 
finish a seven-passenger six-door come 
pletely in black. end to end, not a 
hairline of chromium showing any 
where. But the buyer had his way: He 
shipped the car to England and had the 
work done there. Occasionally, one se 
it in New York. marvelously funereal 
and gloomy-looking. A reversal of the 
specification—to produce 20 feet, six 
inches of solid chromium—would have 
made an elfect only a little more bizarre 

Thus The Playboy Car 
six motorcars varietal to a degree i 
purpose and appearance. To help assem- 
ble them for photography required only 
a telephone call to the amiable curators 
of Harrah's Automobile Collection in 
Reno. To reassemble them in duplicate? 
y $125,000 for openers, much persi 
ence—and good luck. 


227 


228 


A VERY DRY HAIRCUT 
WITH A TWIST, PLEASE 


The gradual evolution of men's hair-styling 
salons from corner barbershops to munifi- 

cent tonsorial palaces must surely have reached 
its apogee with Joe Rando's $50,000 head- 
quarters in the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas. 
Rando offers free liquor and coffee, a putting 
green, three color-TV sets and vibrating chairs 
with nearby extension telephones, Styling 
prices are ten dollars and up—which, all things 
considered, is hardly getting clipped. 


LIKE TO SEE MY 
WINDUP ORGAN? 


In case you didn't 
know, the handsome 
gadget at left is a 
19th Century calendar 
clock with a globe that 
rotates once every 24 
hours. If this kind of 
contraption turns you 
on, we recommend that 
you send a dollar to 
Antiques Growth Cor- 
poration in Hacken- 
sack, New Jersey, for 
the latest catalog. 
Youll get a hefty 
booklet stuffed wich 
such oddball goodics 
as brass telescopes, 
pipe organs, and even 
a windup ostrich that 
pulls a cart. 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


SUITABLY PORTRAYED 


Nixon is a king, of course. And Pat's a queen. And Spiro's a 
jack. .. . What we're talking about are Politicards, a deck of 
playing cards bearing fiendishly revealing caricatures of our 
nation's top political figures (with a few ringers tossed in) 

done by artist Peter Green. Nixon thin likes make up the 
spade suit (David E. is the deuce), capitalist Republicans are 
clubs, hard-hat Demos are diamonds and liberal types are hearts. 
(Mailer and Buckley are jokers.) At $3.50 per, the decks 

are a mighty cheap way to join the Washington shuffle. 


WELCOME, PAPER TIGER TOURISTS 
They're waiting—Pekings Temple of Heaven, Shanghai's parks, 
Canton's communes, Hangchow's Jade Spring, the Great Wall and 
the Anti-Imperialist Hospital's acupuncturists. And with a little 
luck, an available-vacancy ticket and $1395, you may be among 
the first Americans to visit the People's Republic of China next 
summer. A Kansas City, Missouri, firm named Carnival Travel is 
currently offering the tour: two weeks in China, plus transfers 
in Tokyo, Hong Kong and Dacca. Dacca? 


ECOLOGICAL HOTLINE 


If you'd like to be up to date on the latest in 
volcanic eruptions in Nicaragua or snow 
pollution in Sweden, subscribe to the Event 
Notification and Information Card Service 
offered by the Smithsonian Institution's Center 
for Short-Lived Phenomena. The center boasts 
an international network of some 3000 corre- 
spondents and, for annual fees ranging from 
$5 to $100, you can receive monthly, weekly or 
even daily reports on natural events that are 
occurring—or that have just occurred. Say, did 
you read about the meteorite over Gwarzo . . . ? 


MIDGET DIGITS 


The next time you're called upon to perform 
higher math at an exccutive conference (or to 
divide a restaurant check), wow your tablemates 
by unveiling Sharp Electronics‘ ELSL8, one of 
the world’s smallest calculators. Measuring a 
mere 2" x 4" x 6", the one-and-a-half-pound 
wizard operates on batteries or A. C. current, has 
an eight-digit capacity and a decimal call-back 
system. The price? $345. (For $445, you can get 
the ELSI-8M—which features a memory unit.) 
Quick, Watson, the tax form! 


SOUL TRIP 


The travel scene for blacks has 
always been, in the words of 
soul artists The Temptations, 
“a ball of confusion." Which is 
why Bob Hayes, founder of a 
black travel agency, wrote The 
Black American Travel Guide 
(Straight Arrow Books). a survey 
of major U.S. cities that's 
designed to give the black trav- 
eler a sense of security by 
supplying him with relevant 
information on where to stay, 
what to see, local soul sounds, 
restaurants and stores—plus a 
capsule summary of the life and 
location of black communities. 


PUTTING ON 
THE DOG TAG 


What must be the ultimate 
in militant chic is cur- 
rently being offered by 
Cartier in the form of 
18-kt.gold dog tags mod- 
eled after the GI origi- 
nal, The price is $95, 
including embossment of 
your choice. And for an 
additional $110, you can 
get an 18-kt-gold ball- 
bearing chain, as shown, 
to hang it on. 


MAKING TRACKS 
FOR THE HIGH COUNTRY 


Weary of hearing complaints about traffic jams, reservation 
foul-ups and crummy sleeping quarters, John Clayton, a Colorado 
bar owner, has organized Colorado Ski Trains, Inc., and pur- 
chased a 20-car train that, once a week, makes tracks from Denver 
for Steamboat Springs, Vail and Aspen. The cost of the round trip is 
$512—including fare, room and board (skiers eat and sleep on the 
tain) and lift tickets. Travel 
is overnight, leaving six 
full days for the slopes. 
All aboard! 


228 


PLAYBOY 


230 She gestured toward a bookcase, 


ARTEMIS anna pon paee so) 


was reading, and reading with interest, 
was Aldous Huxley. 

“You've got to come in now," she 
said. "I won't take no for an answer.” 
She opened the cab door and he 
climbed down and followed at her side 
to the back door. 

She had a big butt and a big front 
and a jolly face and hair that must have 
been dyed, because it was a mixture of 
grays and blues. She had set a place for 
him at the kitchen table and she sat 
opposite him while he ate his hamburg- 
cr. She told him directly the story of her 
life, as was the cusiom in the United 
States at that time. She was born 
Evansville, Indiana, had graduated from. 
the Evansville North High School and 
had been elected. apple-blossom queen 
in her senior year. She then went on to the 

niversity in Bloomington, where Mr. 
ler, who was older than she, had 
been a professor, They moved from 
Bloomington to Syracuse and then 10 
Paris, where he became f. 

"What's he famous for?" a 

"You mean you've never heard of my 
husband?” she said. “J. P. Filler. He's a 
famous author 

“What did he w 

“Well, he wrote 
tid, “but he's best known for Shit.” 

Artemis laughed, Artemis blushed. 
What's the name of the book?" he 
sked. 

"Shit," she said. "That's the name of 
it. I'm surprised you never heard of it. 
It sold about half-a-million copies. 

“You're kidding,” Artemis said. 

“No I'm not,” she said. “Come with 
me. ТИ show you.” 

He followed her out of the kitchen 
through several rooms, much richer and 


itc?" asked Artemis. 
lot of things,” she 


fortable than anything he was 
with. She took from a shelf a 


book whose 
said Artemis, 
a book like th: 

“Well,” she said, "when he was at 
Syracuse, he got a foundation grant to 
investigate literary anarchy. He took a 
year off. That's when we went to Pari 
He wanted to write a book about some- 
thing that concerned everybody, like 
sex, only by the time he got his grant, 
everything you could write about sex 
had been written. Then he got this 
other idea. After all, it was universal. 
That's what he said. It concerned every- 
body. Kings and presidents and sailors 
at sen. It was just as impo 
water, carth and air. Some people might 
think it was not a very delicate subject 
bout, but he hates delicac nd 
anyhow, considering the books you can 
buy these days, Shit is practically pure. 
I'm surprised you never heard about it. It 
was translated into twelve languages. See.” 
where 


Ше was Shit. "My God," 
how did he come to write 


7A 

ricmis read Merde, Kaka,4 and roni, 
1 can give you a paperback, if you'd like.” 
“4 like to read it,” said Artemis. 

She got a paperback from a closet. 
“It's too bad he isn't here. He would be 
glad to autograph it for you, but he's in 
England. He travels a lot. 

“Well, thank you, ma'am,” said Ar- 
temis. “Thank you for the lunch and 
the book. I have to get back to work.” 

He checked the rig, dimbed into the 
cab and put down Huxley for J. P. 
Filler. He read the book with a certain 
amount of interest, but his incredulity 
was stubborn, Except to go to and from. 
college, Artemis had never traveled, and 
yet he often felt himself to be a traveler, 
to be among strangers. Walking down a 
street in Chi he would have felt no 
more alien than he felt at that moment, 
trying to comprehend the fact that he 
lived in a world where a man was 
wealthy and esteemed for having written 
a book about turds, 

Tha's what it was about: turds. 
‘There were all shapes, sizes and colors, 
along with a great many descriptions of 
toilets. Filler had traveled. widely, There 


were the toilets of New Delhi and the 
toilets of ro and he had either imag- 
ined or visited the Pope's chambers in 


tican and the facilities of the 
al Palace in Tokyo. There were 
few lyrical descriptions of nature 
bowels in a lemon grove in 
n in a mountain pass 
in Nepal, dysentery on the Greek is 
lands. It was not really a dull book and 
it had, as she had said, a distinct univer- 
sality, although Artemis continued to 
feel that he had strayed into some coun- 
wy China. He was nor a prude, but 
he used a prudent vocabulary. When a 
well came too close to a septic tank, he 
eferved to the danger as “fecal matter. 
He had been “down on" (his vocabu- 
lar many times, but to count 
these performances and to recall in de 
tail the techniques seemed to dimi 
the experience. There was, he thouglu 
height of sexual ecstasy that by its im- 
mensity and profoundnes seemed to 
transcend observation. He finished the 
book a little after five, It looked like 
rain. He killed the rig, covered it with a 
tarpaulin and drove home. Passing a 
bog, he tossed away his copy of Shit. He 
didn't want to hide it and he would 
have had trouble describing it to his 
mother and, anyhow, he didn't want to 
ad it again, 

he next day it rained and Artemis 
got very wet. Ihe rig worked loose 
he spent most of the morning making 
secure, Mrs. Filler worried about his 
health, First she brought him a towel. 
“You'll catch your death of cold, you 
darling boy,” she said. “Oh, look how 
ашу your hair is” Later, carrying an 


quite 
—loose 


nish 


umbrella, she brought him a cup of tea. 
She urged him to come into the house 
and change into dry clothes. He said 
that he couldn't leave the rig. 


he said, never catch 
cold." As soon as he said this, he began. 
to sneeze. Mrs. Filler insisted that he 


either come into her house or go home. 
He was uncomfortable and he gave up 
around two. Mr: Шег had been right. 
By suppertime, his throat was sore. His 
head was unclear. He took two aspirins 
and went to bed around nine, He woke 
after midnight in the hot-and-cold 
h fever, The effect of this 
him to the emo- 
tional attitudes of a child. He curled up 
in an embryonic position, his hands be- 
tween his kuces uely sweating 
and shivering. He felt himself loncly but 
well protected, irresponsible and cozy. 
His father scemed to live again and 
would bring him, when he came home 
from work, a new switch for his electric 
train or a lure for his tackle box. His 
mother brought him some breakfast and 
took his temperature. He had a fever of 
103 and dozed for most of the morning. 

At noon his mother cime in to say 
that there was a lady downstairs to sce 
him. She had brought some soup He 
id that he didn't want to sce anyone, 
but his mother seemed doubtful. The 
lady was a customer. Her intentions 
were kind. It would be rude to turn her 
away. He felt 100 feeble to show any 
resistance and a few minutes later, Mrs. 
Filler stood in the doorway with a pi 
serve jar full of broth. “I told him he'd 
be sick, I told him that yesterday.” 

“ЕП go next door and sce if they have 
any aspirin," said his mother. “We've 
used ours all up.” She left the room and 
Mrs. Filler closed the door. 


spasms of a 1 


“Oh, you poor boy,” she said. “You 
poor boy. 

“It's only а cold,” he said. "I never 
get sick. 


“But you are sick,” she said. “You are 
sick and I told you you would be sick, 
you silly boy.” Her voice was tremulous 
and she sat on the edge of his bed and 
began to stroke his brow. "If you'd only 
come into my house, you'd be out there 
today, swinging your sledge hammer. 
She extended her caresses to his chest 
and shoulders and then, reaching under 
the bedclothes, hit, since Artemis never 
wore pajamas, pay dirt. “Oh, you lovely 
boy,” said Mrs. Filler. “Do you always 
get hard this quickly? Irs so hard” 
Artemis groaned and Mis, Filler went 10 
work. Then he arched his back and let 
ош a muffled yell. The trajectory of his 
discharge was а litle like the fireballs 
from a Roman candle and may explain 
our fascination with these pyrotechnics. 
Then they heard the front door open 
and Mis. Filler left his bed for a chair 
by the window. Her face was very red 
and she was breathing heavily. 


“АП the aspirin they have 
aspirin,” said his mother. “It's pi 
T guess if you take enough of it, it works 
all right." 

“Why don't you go to the drugstore 
and buy some aspirin?” said Mrs, Filler. 
"I'll stay with him while you're gone.” 

“I don’t know how to drive,” said 
Artemis’ mother. “Isn’t that funny? In 
this day and age. I've never learned how 
to drive a car.” Mrs. Filler was about to 
suggest that she walk to the drugstore, 
but she realized that this might expose 
her position. “I'll telephone the drug- 
store and sce if they deliver,” his mother 
said and left the room with the door open. 
The telephone was in the hallway and 
Mrs. Filler remained in her chair. She 
stayed a few minutes longer and parted 
on a note of false cheerfulness, 

“Now, you ger beter," she said, “and 
come back and dig me a nice well.” 

He was back at work three days later. 
Mrs. Filler was not there, but she re- 
turned around Il with a load of gro- 
ceries, At noon, when he was opening 
his lunch pail, she came out of the 
house carrying a small tray om which 
there were two brown, steaming drinks. 
"I've brought you а toddy,” she said. He 
opened the cab door and she climbed in 
and sat beside him. 

“Is there whiskey in i?” asked Artemis, 

“Just a drop," she said. “It's mostly 
tea and lemon, It will help you get 
better.” Artemis tasted his toddy and 
thought he had never tasted anything so 
strong. “Did you read my husband's 
book?" she asked. 

“I looked at it," Artemis said slyly. "I 
didn't understand it. 1 mean, I didn't 
understand why he had to write about 
that. I don't read very much, but I 
suppose it's better than some books. The 
kind of books 1 really hate are the kind 
of books where people just walk around 
and light cigarettes and say things like 
good morning. They just walk around. 
When I read a book, I want to read 
about earthquakes and exploring and 
tidal waves. I don't want to read about 
people walking around and opening 
door 

“Oh, you silly boy,” she said. "You 
don’t know anything.” 

'm thirty years old," said Artemis, 
nd I know how to drill a well. 
"But you don't know what I want," 
she said. 

You want a well, I guess, 


` he said. 


“A hundred gallons a minute. Good 
drinking water. 
“I don't mean that, I mean what I 


want now. 

He slumped а litle in the scat and 
unfastened his trousers. She dipped her 
head, a singular gesture rather like a 
bird going after seed or water. “Hey, 
that's great,” said Artemis, “that's really 
great. You want me to tell you when I'm 


“I admire your initiative, Flynn, but we can’t arrest 
them for impersonating marijuana.” 


going to come?” She simply shook her 
head. "Big load's on its way,” said Ar- 
temis. “Big load's coming down the line. 
You want me to hold it" She shook her 
lead. “Ouch,” yelled Artemis. "Ouch." 
One of his limitations as a lover 
that at the most sublime moment, he 
usually shouted “Ouch, 
Maria had often complained about this. 
“Ouch,” roared Artemis, “Ouch, ouch, 
ouch,” as he was racked by a large 
orgasm. "Hey, that was great," he said, 
"hat was really great, but I'll bet it's 
unhealthy. 1 mean, ТЇЇ bet if you do that 
all the time, you'd get to be round- 
shouldered.” 

she kissed him tenderly and said, 
"You're crazy.” That made two. He gave 
her one of his sandwiches. 

The rig was then down to 300 feet. 
The next day, Artemis hauled up the 
hammer and lowered the cylinder that 
measured water. The water was muddy 
but not soapy and he guessed the take 
to be about 20 gallons « minute. When 
Mrs. Filler came out of the house, he told 
her the news, She didn't seem pleased. 
Her face was swollen and her eyes were 
зей, “I'll go down another fifteen or 
twenty feet,” Artemis said. “I think you'll 
have a nice well.” 


was 


And then you'll go away,” she said, 
“and never come back.” She began to 


said Artemis. “Please 


don't cry, Mrs, Filler. I hate to see wom- 
en crying.” 

“Tm in love,” she sobbed loudly. 

“Well, I guess a nice woman like you 
must fall in love pretty often,” Artemis 
said. 

“Pm in love with you,” she sobbed. 
“It’s never happened to me before. 1 
wake up at five in the morning and start 
waiting for you to come. Six o'clock, 
seven o'clock, eight o'dock. It's agony. I 
can't live without you. 

“What about your husband 
Artemis cheerfully. 

“He knows,” she sobbed. "He's in 
London. I called him last night. I told 
him. It didn't seem fair to have him 
come home expecting a loving wife 
when his wife is in love with someone 
else.” 

What did he say? 

He didn't say anything. He hung up. 
He's scheduled to come back tonight. I 
have to meet the plane at fivc. I love you, 
I love you, I love you." 

“Well, I have to get back to work, 
" said Artemis at his most rustic. 
k to the house now and get 
some rest" She tumed and sta 
the house. He would have liked to con- 
sole her—sorrow of any sort distressed 
him—but he knew that any gesture on 
his part would be hazardous. He reset 
the rig nother 20 fect, 
where he estimated the take to be about 


asked 


п), 


ted Гог 


nd went down 


231 


PLAYBOY 


0, Mrs. Filler 
She scowled at him as she drove 
As soon as she had gone. he moved 
у. He capped the well. got his rig 
onto the truck and drove home. About 
mine that night, the phone rang. He 
thought of not answering or of aski 
his mother to take it, but his mother was 
g television and he had his re- 
liti a well driller. “You've 
round thirty-five gallons a minute,” 
he said. “Haversham w install the 
pump. I don't know whether or not 
you'll need another storage tank. Ask 
Haversham. Goodbye.” 

‘The next day, he took his shotgun 
and a package of sandwiches and walked 
the woods north of the town. He w 
not much of g shot and there 
weren't many birds, but it pleased him 
to walk through the woods and pastures 
and climb the stone walls. When he got 
home, his mother said, "She was here. 
‘That lady. She brought you a present.” 
She passed him a box in which there 
were three silk shirts and a love letter. 
ater that evening, when the telephone 
rang, he asked his mother to say that he 
was out. It was, of course, Mrs. Filler. 
Artemis had not en a vacation in 
several years and he could sec that the 
time to travel had arrived. In the morn- 
ng, he went to a travel agency in the 
village. 

‘The agency was in а dark, narrow 
room on a dark street, its walls blazing 
with posters of beaches, cathedrals and 
couples in love. The agent was a gray- 
haired woman, Above her desk was а > 
that said, YOU HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO DE A 
TRAVEL AGENT. She seemed harassed and 
h age, whiskey 
or tobacco. She chain-smoked. She twice 
lighted cigarettes when there was а cig- 
arette smoking in the ashtray. Artem 
said that he had $500 to spend and would 
like to be away for about two weeks. 
“Well, I suppose you've seen Paris, Lon- 
don and Disneyland,” she said. “Everyone 
has. There's Tokyo, of course, but they 
tell me it's a very tiring flight. Seventeen 
hours in a 707, with a utility stop in 
Fairbanks. My most satisfied customers 
are the ones who go to Rus- 
. There's a package.” She flashed а 
folder at him. “For three hundred and 
ht dollars, you get economy- 
ndirip air fare to Moscow, twelve 
з а first-class hotel with all your 
tickets to hockey, ballet, op- 

and a pass to the public 
swimming pool. Side trips to Leningrad 


30 gallons a minute. At 
left. 


got 


her voice was cracked м 


plane 1 't landed in London for near- 
ly ten days, ‘They stack up at Liverpool 
and then you take a train down. Rome 
is cold. So is P 
get to Egypt. For a two-week trip, the 


232 Pacific is out, but you could go to the 


aribhean, although reserv 
very hard to get. I suppose you'll м 
to buy souvenirs and there isn't much to 
buy in Russia.” 

“J don't want to buy anythin 
temis said. “I just want to travel.” 

‘Take my advice,” she said, “and go 
to Russia.” 

It seemed the maximum distance that 
he could place between himself and Mr. 
and Mrs. Filler. His mother was imper- 
turbable. Most women who owned seven 
American flags would have protested, 
but she said nothing but “Go where you 
want, Sonny. You deserve a change.” His 
visa and passport took a week and one 
pleasant evening, he boarded the cight- 
o'dock Acrollot from Kennedy to Mos- 
cow. Most of the other passengers were 
Japanese and couldn't speak English 
and it was a long and a lonely trip. 

It was raining in Moscow, so Artemis 
heard what he liked —the sound of rain. 
The Japanese spoke Russian and he 
trailed along behind them across the 
tarmac to the main building. where they 
formed a line. The line moved slowly 
and he had been w ng for an hour or 
longer when a good-looking young wom- 
pproached him and asked, “Are you 
Mr. Artemis Bucklin? 1 have very good 
news for you. Come with me.” She found 
and bucked the lines for customs 
id immigration. A large black car was 
waiting for them. “We will go first to 
your hotel.” she said. She had a marked 
English accent. “Then we will go to the 
Bolshoi theater, where our great premier, 
Nikita Sergeevich Khrushchev, wants to 
welcome you as a member of the American 
proletariat, People of many occupations 
come to visit our beautiful country, but 
you are the first well d Her voice 
was lilting and she seemed very happy 
with her news. Artemis was confused, 
tired and dirty. Looking out of the car 


an 


dow, he saw an enormous portrait of 
the premier nailed to a tree. He was 
frightened. 


Why should he be frightened? He had 
dug wells for rich and powerful people 
and had met them without fear or shy- 
ness Khrushchev was merely a peasant 
who, through cunning, vitality and luck, 
had made himself the master of a popu- 
lation of over 200,000,000. That was th 
rub; and as the car approached the city, 
portraits of Khrushchev looked in at 
Artemis from department 
stores and lampposts. Khrushchev ban- 
ners flapped in the wind on a bridge 
across the Moskva River. In Mayakov 
sky Square, a large, lighted portrait of 
Khrushchev beamed down upon his chil. 
dren as they rushed for the subway 
entranc 

Artemis was taken to a 
the Ukraine. “We are already late, 
young woman said. 

1 can't go anywhere until I've 


bakeries, 


hotel called 
the 


a bath and shaved,” said Artemis. “I 
can't go anywhere looking like this. And 
I would like something to cat." 

“You go up and change.” she said, 
"and I'll meet you in the dining room. 
Do you like chicken? 

Artemis went up to his room and 
turned on the hot water in his tub, As 
anyone could guess, nothing happened. 
He shaved in cold water and was begin- 
ning to dress when the hot-water spout 
made a Vesuvian racket and began to 
ejaculate rusty and scalding water. He 
bathed in this, dressed and went down 
She was sitting 
room, where his dinner had been served. 
She had kindly ordered a carafe of vod- 
which he drank off before he ate hi 
"I do not want to hasten you, 
but we will be late. I will try 
10 explain. Today is the jubilee of 
the Baule of Staviisky. We will go to the 
Bolshoi theater and you will sit on the 
presidium. I won't be able to sit with 
you, so you will understand very little of 
what is said. There will be speeches. 
Then, after the speeches are over, there 
will be a reception at the rear of the 
stage, where our great premier, Nikita 
Sergeevich Khrushchev, will welcome you 
as a member of the American proletariat 
to the Union of Soviet Socialist. Repub- 
. 1 think we should go. 
ar and driver waited for 
them and, on the trip from the Ukraine 
to the Bolshoi, Artemis counted 70 por- 
ts of the man he was about to meet. 
‘They entered the Bolshoi by а bad 
door. He was taken onto the stage, 
where the speeches had begun. The jub; 
lee was being televised and the lights 
for this made the stage as hot as a 
desert, an illu extended by 
the fact that the stage was flanked with 
plastic palm trees. Artemis could under- 
stand nothing that was said, but he 
looked around for the premier. He wa 

in the principal box. This was occu- 
pied by two very old women. At the end 
of an hour of speeches, his anguish 
turned to boredom and the unease of a 
full bladder. At the end of another 
hour, he was merely sleepy. Then the 
ceremony ended. There was a buffet 
D nd he went there as he had 
been directed, expecting Khrushchev to 
шаке his terrifying appearance, but the 
premier was not around and when А: 
ed if he was expected, he was 
He ate a sandwich and 
drank a glass of wine. No one spoke to 
n. He decided to walk home from the 
Bolshoi in order to stretch his leg: 
soon as he left the theater, a policem 
stopped him. He kept repeating the 
name of his hotel and pointing to his 
shoes, and when the policeman under- 
stood. he gave him directions. Off went 
Artemis, It seemed to be the same route 
he had taken in the car, but all the 
portraits of Khrushchev had vanished. 


As 


АП those pictures that had beamed 
down on him from bakeries, lampposts 
and walls were gone. He thought he was 
lost, until he crossed a bridge over the 
Moskva River that he remembered for 
its banners. They no longer flew. When 
he reached the hotel, he looked for a 
large portrait of Khrushchev that had 
hung in the lobby. Gone. So, like many 
other travelers belore him, he went up- 
stairs to a strange room in a strange 
country humming the unreality blues. 
How could he have guessed that Khru- 
shchev had been deposed? 

He had breakfast in the dining room 
with an Englishman who told him the 
facts. He also suggested that if Artemis 
needed an interpreter, he should go to 
the Central Government Agency and 
not Intourist. He wrote, in the Cyrillic 
alphabet, an address on а card. He or 
dered the waiters around ofheiously i 
Russian and Artemis was impressed with 
fluency; but he was, in fact, one of 
those travelers who can order fried eggs 
nd hard liquor in seven languages but 


who can't count to ten in more than one. 
n front of the hotel 


There were cabs 
and Artemis е the address to a di 
er. They took the same route they had 
taken to the Bolshoi and Artemis w: 
able to recheck the fact that all the 
portraits of Khrushchev had been re- 
moved in two hours or three at the 


most. It must have taken hundreds ol 
men. The address was a dingy office 
with a sign in English as well 
n. Artemis climbed some shab- 
by stairs to a door that was padded. 
Why padded? Silence? Madness? He 
opened the door onto a brightly lighted 
office and told a striking young woman 
that he wanted an interpreter to takc 
him around Moscow. 

The Russians don't scem to have got- 
ten the bugs out of illumination. There 
is cither too much light or too little and 
the light the young woman stood in was 
seedy. She had, however, or so he 
thought, enough beauty to conquer the 
situation, If a thousand portr of Khru 
shchev could vanish in three hours, 
couldn't he fall in love in three min- 
utes? He seemed ta. She was about five 
feet, five. He was six feet. which meant 
that she was the right size, a considera- 
tion he had learned to respect. Her 
Drow and the shape of her head were 
splendid and she stood with her head 
raised a little, as if she were accustomed. 
to speaking to people taller than herself. 
She wore a tight sweater that showed 
her fine breasts and her skirt was also 
tight. She seemed to be in charge of the 
office. but in spite of her manifest execu- 
tive responsibilities, there was not a 
trace of aggressiveness in her manner. 
Her femininity was intense. Her essence 


seemed to lie in two things: a sense of 
girlishness and the quickness with which 
she moved her head. She seemed capable 
of the changeableness, the moodiness of 
someone much younger. (She was, he 
discovered later, 32.) She moved her 
head as if her vision were narrow, as if 
it moved from object to object, rather 
than to take in the panorama. Her vi- 
sion was not narrow, but that was the 
impression he got. There was some nos 
talgia in her appearance, some charming 
feminine sense of the past. “Mrs. Kosiev 
will take you around," she said. “With- 
out taxi fares, that will be twenty-three 
rubles.” She spoke with exactly the same 
as the woman who had met him 
(He would never know. 
but they had both learned their English 
off a tape made at the university in 
Leningrad by an English governess 
turned Communist.) 

He knew none of the customs of this 
strange country, but he decided to take 
a chance. “Will you have dinner with 
me?" he asked. 

She gave him an appraising and pleas- 
ant look. “I'm going to a poetry read- 
ing." she said. 
an I come with you?" he asked. 
Why, yes," she said. “Of course. Meet 
me here at six.” Then she called for 
Mrs. Kosiev. This was a broad-shoul- 
dered woman who gave him a manly 


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233 


PLAYBOY 


handshake but no smile. "Will you 
please give our guest from the United 
States the twenty-three-ruble tour of 
Moscow?" He counted out 23 rubles 
nd put them on the desk of the woman 
with whom he had just [allen in love. 

Going down the stairs, Mrs. Kosiev 
said. “That was Natasha Funaroff. She is 
the daughter of Marshal Funaroff. They 
have lived in Siberia. . . ." 

After this picce of information, Mrs. 
Kosiev began to praise the Union of 
Soviet Socialist Republics and continued 
this for the rest of the day. They walked 
short distance from the office to the 
Kremlin, where she first took him to 
the Armory. A long line was waiting at the 
door, but they bucked this. Inside, they 
put felt bags over their shoes and Artemis 
was shown the crown jewels, the royal 
horse tack and some of the royal wal 
robe. Artemis was bored and h 
n to feel terribly tired. They toured 
¢ churches in the Kremlin. These 
seemed to him rich, lofty and completely 
mysterious. They then took a cab to the 
Tret Artemis had begun 
1o notice that the smell of Moscow—so 
far from any tilled land—was the smell 
sour whey and carth- 
stained overalls. It lingered in the mas- 
ve lobby of the Ukr: The golden 
of the Kremlin, scoured of 


the smell of curds and 
mented by a mysterious 
nure. At 
one, Artem he was hungry and 
they had some lunch. They then went to 
the Lenin Library and, after t 
deconsecrated monastery that h 
turned into a folk museum. Artemis had 
seen more than enough and after the 
monastery, he said that he wi 
return 10 the hotel. Mrs. Kosiev said 
that the tour was not completed and 
that there would be no rebate. He said 
he didn't care and took a cab back to 
the Ukraine. 

He returned to the office at six. She 
ng in the street, waiting by the 
door. "Did you have a nice tour?" she 
asked. 

‘Oh, yes" said Artemis. "Oh, yes. I 
don't seem to like muscums, but then, 
I've never been in any and perhaps its 
something I could learn.” 


was м 


1 detest museums," she said. She took 
his arm lightly, lightly touched hi 
shoulder with hers. Her hair was a very 


light brown—not really blonde—but it 
shone in the streetlights. It was straight 
and dressed simply with a short queue 
in the back, secured with an elastic 
and. The 


to hear Luncharvsky; 
r. We can walk. 
Oh, Moscow, Moscow, that most anony- 
mous of all 


234 were some dead flowers on the bust of 


Chaliapin seemed to be the 
only flowers in town. Part of the clash of 
a truly great city on an autumn night i 
the smell of roasting coffee and (in 
Rome) wine and new bread and men 


lover. a spouse or nobody in particular, 
nobody at all. As it grew darker and the 
lights went on, Artemis seemed to find 
none of the excitement of a day's end- 
g- Through a window he saw a child 
reading a book, a woman fr 
toes. Was it because with 
gone and all the palaces still sta 
one felt, for better or for worse, th 
critical spectrum of the city's life had 
been extinguished? They passed а 
carrying three loaves of new bread in a 


string basket. The man was singing. 
This made Artemis happy. “I love you, 
Natasha Funaroff.” he said. 


“How did you know my name?” 

told me all about you 
ad of them the statue of 
kovsky, although Artemis didn't 
(doesn't today) know anything about 
the poet. It was gigantic and tasteless, a 
ic of the Stalin era that reshaped the 
whole pantheon of Russian literature to 
resemble the sons of Lenin. (Even poor 
Chekhov was given posthumously heroic 
shoulders and a massive brow.) It grew 
darker and darker and more lights went 
on. Then. as they saw the crowd, Arte- 
mis saw that the smoke from their ci 
rettes had formed, 30 or 40 feet in the 
air, a flat, substantial 
cloud. He supposed this was some proc- 
ess of inversion. Before they reached the 
square, he could hear 
voice. Russian is a more percussi 
guage than English, less mu 
more diverse, and this may account for 
its carrying power. The voice was power- 
ful, not only in volume but its emo 


1 below ue of. Mayako 
sky. declaiming love lyrics to an audi- 
ence of 1000 or 2000, who stood under 
their bizarre cloud or canopy of smoke. 
ing. but the force of hi 
voice was the force of singing. Natash: 
made a gesture as if she had brought him 
to see one of the wonders of the world 
and he thought that perhaps she had. 
He was a traveler, a stranger, and he 
led this far to see strange 


ad tra 


things. The dusk was cold, but Li 


charvsky was in his shirt sleeves. His 
shoulders broad—broad-boned, 
that is. His arms were long. His hands 
were large and when he closed them 
into a fist, as he did every few minutes, 
the fist seemed m 
man. His hair was yellow, not cut and 
iot combed. His eyes had the startling 
nd compelling cast of a man unremit- 
tently on the up and up. Artemis had. 


were 


the feeling that not only did he com- 
mand the attention of the crowd but 
had anyone there been momentarily in- 
tientive, he would have known it. At 
the end of the recitation, someone passed 
him a bouquet of dying  chrysanthe- 


mums and his suit coat. "I'm hungry,” 


said Artemis. 

"We will go to a Geol 
rant.” she said 
our best kitchen 

They went to a very noisy place where 
Artemis had chicken for the third tim 
Leaving the restaurant, she took his arm 
again, pressed her shoulder against his 
nd led him down a street. He wo 
dered if she would take him home and 
if she did, what would he find? Old 
parents, brothers, sisters or perhaps a 
roommate? "Where are we going?” he 
asked. 

“To the park. Is that all right” 

“That's fine.” said Artemis. The park, 
when they reached it, was like any 
other. There were trees, losing their 
leaves at that time of year, benches and 
conerete walks. There was a concrete 
statue of а man holding a child on his 
shoulders. The child held a bird. Arte- 
mis supposed they were meant to repr 
sent progress or hope. They sat on a 
bench. he put an arm around her and 
Kissed her, She responded tenderly and 
expertly and for the next half hour they 
kissed each other. Artemis felt relaxed, 
loving, close to sappy. When he stood to 
straighten the protuberance in his troi 
ers, she took his hand and led him to 
n apartment house a block or so away. 
An armed policeman stood by the door. 
She took what Artemis guessed was an 
lentity curd out of her purse. The 
policeman scrutinized this in a way that 
was meant to be offensive. He seemed 
openly bel He snecred, glowered, 
pointed several times to Artemis and 
spoke to her as if she were contemptibl 
ferent circumst a dille 
would have hi 


gian restau- 
“A Georgian kitchen is 


cage—to another floor, Even the 
ment house smelled to Artemis like a 
m. She unlocked a door with two keys 
and led 


him into a dingy room. "There 
was а bed in one corner. Clothes hung 
to dry from a string. On a table, there 
was half a loaf of bre 
of meat. Artemis quickly got out of his 
clothes, as did she, and they (his choice 
of words) made love. She cleaned up 
the mess with a cloth. put a lighted 
cigarette betwee lips and poured 
him a glass of vodka. ^I don't ever want 
this to end.” Artemis said, “I don't ever 


nd some scraps 


want this to end." Lying with her in hi 
arms he felt a thrilling and galvanic 
sense of their indi although 


they were utter strangers. He was thin! 
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235 


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years ago and God knows what she was 
th ng about. "What was it like in 
Siberia?" he asked. 

"Wonderful," she said. 

“What was your father like?" 

“He liked cucumbers.” she said. “He 
was a marshal until we were sent to 
Siberia. When we came back, they gave 
him an office in the Ministry of Defense. 
Tt was a little office. There was no chair, 
no table, no desk, no telephone, noth- 
ing. He used to go there in the morning 
nd sit on the floor. Then he died. Now 
youll have to go." 

"Why?" 

"Because it's late and I'll worry about 
you." 


n I see you tomorrow! 
Of course.” 

“Can you come to my hotel?" 

“No, I couldn't do that. It wouldn't 
be sale for me to be scen a tou 
hotel and, anyhow, I hate them. We can 
meet in the park. I'll write the address.” 
She left the bed and walked across the 
room. Her figure was astonishing—it 
scemed in its perfection to be almost 
freakish. Her breasts were large, her 
very slender and her backside 
was voluminous. She ed it with a 
little swag, as if it were filled with 
buckshot. Artemis dressed, kissed her 
good night and went down. The police- 
man stopped him but finally let him go, 
since neither understood anything the 
other said. When Artemis asked for his 
key at the hotel, there was some delay. 
Then a man in uniform appeared, hold- 
ing Artemis’ passport, and extracted the 
vi 


wı 


ou will leave Moscow tomorrow 
morning," he said. "You will take SAS 
ight 769 to Copenhagen and change 
lor New Yor 

“But I want to see your great cour 
try,” Artemis said. “I want to sce Lenin- 
grad and Kiev.” 

"The airport bus leaves at half past 


In the morning, Artemis had the In- 
tourist agent in the lobby telephone the 
interpreters’ burcau. When he asked for 
Natasha Funaroif, he was told there was 
no such person there; there never had 
been. Forty-eight hours after his arrival, 
he y g his way home. The 
other passengers on the plane were 
American tourists and he was able to 
talk and make friends and pass the time. 


Artemis went to work a few days later 
drilling in hardpan outside the village 
of Brewster. The site had been chosen by 
a dowser and he was dubious, but he 
was wrong. At 400 feet he hit limestone 
and a stream of sweet water that came 
in at 100 gallons a minute. It was 16 
days after his return from Moscow that 
he got his first letter from Natasha. His 
address on the envelope was in English, 


but there was a lot of Cyrillic writing 
and the stamps were brilliantly colored. 
"The letter disconcerted his mother and 
had, she told him, alarmed the postman. 
To go to Russia was one thing, but to 
receive letters from that strange and dis- 
tant country was something else. “My dar- 
ling,” Natasha had written. “I dreamed 
Jast night that you and I were a wave 
on the Black Sea at Yalta. I know you 
haven't seen that part of my country, 
but if one were a wave, moving toward 
shore, one would be able to sce the 
Crimean Mountains covered with snow. 
In Yalta sometimes when there are roses 
in bloom, you can see snow falling on 
the mountains. When I woke from the 
dream, I felt elevated and relaxed and I 
definitely had the taste of salt in my 
mouth. I must sign this letter Fifi, since 
nothing so irrational could have been 
written by your loving Natasha.” 

He answered her letter that night. 
“Dearest Natasha, I love you. If you will 
come to this country, I will marty you. I 
think of you all the time and I would 
like to show you how we live—the roads 
and trees and the lights of the cities. It 
is very different from the way you 1 
I am serious about all of this, and if you 
need money for the plane trip, 1 will 
send it. If you decided that you didn't 
nt to marry me, you could go home 
again. Tonight is Halloween. I don’t 
suppose you have that in Russia. It is 
the night when the dead are supposed 
to arise, although they don’t, of course, 
but children wander around the streets 
guised as ghosts and skeletons and 
devils and you give them candy and pei 
nies, Please come to my country and 
marry me.” 

This much was simple, but to copy 
her address in the Russian alphabet 
took him much longer. He went through 
ten envelopes before he had what he 
thought was a satisfactory copy. In the 
morning, before he went to work, he 
took his letter to the post office, The 
clerk was a friend, “What in hell are 
you doing, Art, writing this scribble- 
scrabble to Communists?” 

Artemis got rustic. “Well, you see, 
Sam, I was there for a day or so and there 
was this girl.” The letter took a 25-cent 
stamp, a dismal gray engraving of Abra- 
ham Lincoln. When Artemis, thinking of 
the brilliant stamps on her letter, asked 
if there weren't something livelier, his 
friend said no. 

He got her reply in ten days. “I like 
to think that our letters cross and E like 
to think of them flapping their wings at 
cach other somewhere over the Atla 
I would love to come to your country 
and marry you or have you marry me 
here, but we cannot do this until there 
is peace in the world, I wish we didn’t 
have to depend upon peace for love. I 
went to the country on Saturday and the 


w 


birds and the birches and the pines were 
soothing. I wish you had been with me. 
A Unitarian doctor of divinity came to 
the office yesterday looking for an in- 
terpreter. He seemed intelligent and I 
took him around Moscow myself, He told 
me I didn't have to believe in God to be 
a Unitarian, God, he told me, is the prog- 
ress from chaos to order to human re- 
sponsibility. I always thought God sat 
on the clouds, surrounded by troops of 
angels, but perhaps He lives in a subma- 
rine, surrounded by divisions of mer- 
maids. Please send me a snapshot and 
write again. Your letters make me very 
happy.” 

Tin enclosing a snapshot," he wrot 
Us three years old. It was taken at the 
Wakusha Reservoir, This is the center of 
the Northeast watershed. I think of you 
all the time. I woke at three this morn- 
ing thinking of you. It was a nice feel- 
ing. I like the dark. The dark seems to 
me like a house with many rooms. Sixty 
or 70. At night now after work I go 
skating, I suppose everybody in Russia 
must know how to skate. I know that 
Russians play hockey, because they usu- 
ally beat the Americans in the Olympics. 
Three to two, seven to two, cight to one. 
It is beginning to snow. Love, Artemis. 
He had another struggle with the ad- 
dress. 

“Your last letter took 18 days,” she 
wrote. “I find myself answering your 
letters before they come, but there's 
nothing mystical about this, really, for 
there's an immense dock at the post 
office with one side black and the other 
ite showing what time it is in differ- 
nt parts of the world. By the time 
dawn breaks where you are, we are 
halfway through the day. They have just 
painted my stairs. The colors are the 
colors favored by all municipal painters 
ight brown with a dark-brown bor- 
der. While they were about it, they 
splashed a little white paint on the 
bottom of my mailbox. Now when the 
lift carries me do the white paint 
gives me the illusion that there is a 
letter from you. I cannot cure myself of 
this, My heart beats and I run to the 
box, only to find white paint. Now I ride 
the lift with my back turned, the drop 
of paint is so painful. 

Ashe returned from work one night, his 
mother told him that someone had 
called from the county seat and said that 
the call was urgent. Artemis guessed 
that it must be the Internal Revenue 
Service. He had had difficulty trying to de- 
scribe to them the profit and loss in 
looking for water. He was a conscien- 
tious citizen and he called the number. 
A stranger identified himself as Mr. 
Cooper and he didn’t sound like the 
Internal Revenue Service. Cooper want- 
ed to sce Artemis at once. “Well, you 
see,” Artemis said, * 


ts my bowling 237 


PLAYBOY 


238 bag and checked the airl 


night. Our team is tied for first place and 
I'd hate to miss the games if we could meet 
some other time.” Cooper was agreeable 
nd Artemis told him where he was 
working and how to get there. Cooper 
said he would be there at ten and Artemis 
went bow 
In the mornin 


. it began to snow. It 
looked like a heavy storm. Cooper 
showed up at ten. He did not get out 
of his car, but he was so very pleasant 
that Artemis guessed he was a salesman, 
Insurance. 

“1 underst: 
Russia.” 

"Well, 1 was only there for forty-cight 
hours. They canceled my visa. I don't 
know why 

“But you've been corresponding with 
Russia.” 

“Yes, there's this girl. I went out with 
her once, We write each other.” 

“The State Department is very much 
interested in your experience. Underse: 
retary Hurlow would like to talk with 
you." 

"But I didn’t really have any experi- 
ence. I saw some churches and had three 


chicken dinners and then they sent me 


па ti 


you've been in 


hom 

"Well. the Undersecret: 
ed. He called yesterday 
morning. Would vo 
Washington 

m working.” 

“It would only take a day. You can 
take the shutile in the morning and 
come back in the afternoon. It won't 
take long. I th 
penses, although т 
ed. I have the info ion here.” He 
handed the well digger a State Depart- 
ment letterhead that requested the pres- 
ence of Artemis Bucklin at the new 
State Department building at nine AM. 
on the following day. “If vou can make 
it." Cooper said, "your Government will 
be very grateful. I wouldn't worry too 
much about the A.M. Nobody much 
gets to work before ten. It was nice to 
ave met you. If you have any questions, 
call me at this number." Then he wa 
gone and gone very quickly, because the 
snow was dense. The well site was in 
some kwoods where the roads 
wouldn't be plowed and Artemis drove 
home hefore lunch. 

Some provincial 


ry is interest- 
nd again this 
mind going to 


nk they'll pay your ex- 
ha 


t heen decid- 


m—some attachment 
to the not unpleasant routines of his life 
— made Artemis feel re nt to the trip 
10 Washington. He didn't want to go, 
but could he be forced to? The only 
force involved was in the phrase that his 
ent would be grateful. With 
the exception of the Internal Revenue 
Service, he had no particular quarrel 
with his Government and he would have 
liked—chil pethaps—to deserve 
its gratitude, That night he packed 

ic schedules 


and he was at the new State Department 
building at nine the next morning. 

Cooper had been right about time. 
Artemis cooled his heels in a waiting 
room until after ten. He was then taken 
up two floors, not to see the Undersecre- 
y but to see a man named Serge 
Belinsky. Belinsky's office was small and 
and his secretary was а peevish 
Southern woman who wore bedroom slip- 
pers. Belinsky asked Artemis to fill out. 
some simple bureaucratic forms. When 
had he arrived in Moscow?; when had he 
left Moscow?; where had he stayed?: etc. 
When these were finished, Belinsky had 
them duplicated and took Artemis up 
nother floor to the office of a man 
named Moss. Here things were very dif- 
ferent. The secretary was preuy and 
flirtatious and wore shoes. The furniture 
was not luxurious, but it was a cut 

bove Belinsky's. There were flowers on 

the desk and inting on the wall. 
Artemis repeated the litle he remem- 
bered, the little there was to тешеп 
When he described the arrangements for 
his meeting with Khrushchev. Moss 
laughed: Moss whooped. He was a very 
elegant young man. so beautifully 
dressed and polished that Artemis felt 
himself uncouth. unwashed and shabby. 
He was clean enough and mannerly, but 
his clothes bound at the shoulders and 
the crotch. “I think the Undersecretary 
would like to see us now,” said Moss, 
and they went up another flight. 

TI an altogether different crea- 
tion. The floors were carpeted, the walls 
were paneled and the secretary wore 
boots that were buckled with brass and 
reached up past her skirts, ending God 
knows where. How far they had come, 
in such a short distance, from the pec- 
vish secretary in bedroom slippers. How 


Artemis longed for his rig, his work 
clothes They were 
the 


took him in to the Undersecretary 


Except for a very small desk, there 
was nothing businesslike about the 
office. There were colored rugs. sofas, 


pictures and flowers. Mr. Hurlow was a 
very tall man who seemed tired or per- 
haps unwell. "It was good of you to 
come, Mr. Bucklin. ГИ go straight to the 
point. | have to go to the Hill at 
eleven. You know Natasha Funaroll." 

“1 took her out once. We had dinner 
nd sat in a park 
“You correspond with her.” 


ters. Their government does the sam 
Our intelligence feels that your letters 
contain some sort of inforn 
as the daughter of a marshal, is clos 


to 
mily 
God might sit 
ne. surrounded by divisions 
That same day was the 


the government. The rest of her 
were shot. She wrote t 


a subir 
of mermaids. 


date of our last submaı 
derstand that she is an intelligent wom- 
an and I can't believe that she would 
write anything so foolish without its 
having a second meaning. Earlier she 
wrote that you and she were a wave on 
the Black Sea. The date corresponds 
precisely to the Black Sea maneuvers. 
You sent her a photograph of vourself 
beside the Wakusha Reserv pointing 
out that this was the center of the 
Northeast watershed. This, of course, is 
not fed information, but it all 
helps. Later you write that the dark 
seems to you like а house divided into 
seventy rooms. This was written ten days 
before we activated the Seventieth Di 
ion. Would you care to explain any of 
thi: 

“There's nothing to ex] 
her.” 

“Thats absurd. You said yourself that 
you only saw her once. How cin you fall 
in love with a woman you've only seen 
? I can't at the moment threaten 
Mr. Bucklin. I can bring you be- 
fore a committee, but unless you're will 
ing to he more cooperative, this would be 
a waste of our time. We feel quite sure 
that you and your friend have worked 
out a cipher. I can't forbid you to write, 
of course, but we can stop your letters. 
What 1 would like is your patriotic 
cooperation. Mr. Cooper. whom I be- 
ve you've met, will call on you once a 
weck or so and give you the information 
or. rather, the misinformation that we 
would like vou to send to Russ 
couched, of couse. in your cipher, your 
descriptions of the dark as a house 

"I couldn't do that, Mr. Hurlow. It 
would be dishonest to you and to 


in. I love 


The Undersecretary laughed and gave 
a little lish tilt to his shoulders. 
“Well, think it over and call Cooper 
when you've made up your mind. Of 
course, the destiny of the nation doesn't 
depend on your decision. I'm late.” He 
didn't rie, he didn't offer his hand. 
Artemis, feeling worse than he had felt 
in Moscow and singing the unreality 
blues, went past the secretary with the 
boots and took an elevator down past 
the secretary with the shoes and the one 
in bedroom slippers, He got home in time 
for supper. 

He never heard again from the State 
nt. Had they m ke? 
Were they fools or idle? He would nev- 
er know. He wrote Natasha four very 
pect letters. omitting his hockey 

nd his bowling scores. There was no 
reply. He looked for letters from her for 
a month or so. He thought often of the 
aint on her mailbox. When it 
there was the healing sound. 
in to hear, at least there was that. 


Water, water. 


ide а mist 


TA R ОТ (continued from page 102) 


as cups has become—in a puzzling switch 
typical of the tarot’s mysteries—hearts. 

But the cards that have truly captured 
the imagination of men are those of the 
Greater Arcana. For untold generations, 
these two-and-twenty evocative, disturbing 
cryptic little pictures have tempted us 
with the seductive suspicion that they 
contain—in symbolic, coded, allegorical 
form—the inmost secrets of life, love, 
destiny and death. 

“Man has suffered a great loss," writes 
mysticist Gertrude Moakley, "and his 
heart is plagued with a longing to re 
cover the Юм treasure. Somewhere, 
deeply buried treasure still exists. 
The problem is to find the way to it." 
And that way, she suggests, may be re- 
vealed by the tarot, which De Givry has 
described as “a mysterious door opening 
on a gaping and unfathomable future of 
illusions and hopes.” 

The cards of the Greater Arcana pi 
ture all of life, They show us an asort- 
ment of human characters: the Pope. 
the High Priestess (sometimes called 
Pope Joan), the Emperor, the Empress. 
the Magician (or Juggler), the Hern 
They show us, also, grim allegorical pe 
sonages, the Devil and Death, The cardi 
mal y trength а 
Temperance are depicted, and the astıo- 
nomical clements of the Sun, the Moon, 
the Star. Two of the cards relate to 
fatality in human li 
the Wheel of Fortune. Four more depict 
elements of cosmic fatality: the Chariot, 
Judgment, the World, the House of God 
(sometimes known as the Lightining- 
Struck Tower, which many assume to be 
the Tower of Н . The 22nd and Last 
card of the Greater Arcana is unnum- 


bered and is called the Fool, precursor 
of our common joker. 
have si 


We «| out one card for 
n. It is the 12th card, the 
E est of all, the Hanged Man. Its 
meaning is obscure, buffeted by contro- 
versy. In most versions of the tarot, he 
hangs by one foot from a cross ог gib- 
bet, head down, not dead but alive, his 
face usually expressionless, sometimes 
suffering, but in some tarots almost bliss- 
ful. In at least one version, his head is 
surrounded by a glowing nimbus, much 
like a halo. In another his 
hands are holding two cloth sacks (do 
they contain money?). Опе dari 
scholar insisted that the Н; 
only appears to be hanging, bec 
card has traditionally but erroneously 
been held upside down: In reality, he is 
standing on one foot and the other foot 
is shown in air while the man care- 


fully considers whether or not he should 
take the next step. According to this 
interpretation (almost universally reject- 
ed), the card represents prudence, 

Arthur Waite said of the Hanged 
Man: “It is a card of profound signifi- 
cance, but all the significance is veiled. 
+ + + It has been called falsely a card of 
martyrdom, a card of prudence, a card 
of the Great Work, a card of dut 
will say very simply on my own part 
that it expresses the relation, in one of 
its aspects, between the Divine and the 
Universe. He who can understand that 
the story of his higher na 
ded in this syml 


that is possible, and will know that after 
the sacred Mystery of Death there is a 
glorious Mystery of Resurrection.” 

With an appropriately enigmatic air, 
Miss Moakley simply says, “Show the 
Hanged Man card to some friend who 


has never seen the tarot before, and let 
him take the card into his own hand. 
Notice what he does with it. Another 
way is to give your friend the whole 
pack of cards to look through, and again 
notice what happens when he comes to 
the Hanged Man.” 

Although tarot cards can be used like 
any other cards to play mundane games 
of chance, their true worth is seen in the 
dark art of cartomancy, whereby gifted 
persons, attuned to the mysteries, are 
id to divine the course of Г 
penings A famous cartomuncer was 
Mlle. Le Normand, twice imprisoned by 
Bonaparte, who used the tarot to forc- 


me that from the moment N 
me he would cease to be happy. 

Unlike tca leaves, the crystal ball, 
common playing cards or other aids to 
prophecy, the tarot is steeped in, among 
other things, a certain fleshliness, a sub- 
de, understated sexuality, Without being 


"I don't care what it says in your 
little red book. This is not Madam Zonga's All- 
Night Personalized Masseuse Service.” 


239 


PLAYBOY 


240 


covertly erotic, naked male and female 
figures, their genitals unhidden, are pic- 
tured in many versions of the cards called 
the Lovers, the Devil, the Star, Judg- 
ment, the World. The Ace of Wands is 
sometimes transparently phallic in 
symbolism and among the meanings at- 
tributed to it are virility, creation, birth. 

As has been shown, all tarot packs, 
though fundamentally similar, are not 
identical. There are many slight and a 
few large differences among them. In 
one Italian tarot, for example, the Pope 
and the High Priestess are replaced by 
the pagan deities Jove and Juno. The 
card called the Moon often depicts two 
astronomers studiously observing the lu- 
nar sphere—but at one point in the 
history of the tarot, they became a pai 
ol dogs baying at the moon, Was th 
emendation intended à satirical com- 
ment on learned men? No one knows. 

"The oldest extant pack of tarot cards 
(unhappily, incomplete) resides today in 
the Bibliothèque Nationale in Paris. It is 
believed to d back to the year 1392 
and to be the work of a well-known 
Italian artist, who did it anonymously 
for fear that it might reflect adversely 


on his reputation. The suggestion that 
this was the original tarot deck has been 
proved to be groundless; for although 
no older pack of cards exists in the 
world, the tarot is spoken of in writings 
set down long before his epoch. 

We will never know when or where 
the tarot was born, but its devotees are 
generally agreed that it will never die. 
The rebirth it is currently enjoying 
among us all as part of a vast revival 
of interest in the occult must not be dis- 
missed as a fad, for the tarot has survived 
the shifts of fashion, the scorn of skeptics, 
the persecution of church and state, Often 
content to remain in the background 
while the simooms of controversy or суг 
cism rage, it keeps its secrets sale, cmerg- 
ing again whenever men have most need 


of it. De Givry has rightly said, "[It] has 
beaten а sublerrancan path through the 
centuries, avoiding both religion and 
et establishing itself in their 

es and 


c, and 


ng in their tribu 
ples the fixity and 
ability of which are well conıri 
balling all historical and philosophical 
research.” 


“Im this place, singles go in alone and come out alone.” 


ISTERUIER WITH THE CENSOR 
(continued from page 129) 


ngs tighten and loosen — 

INTERVIEWER: But right now, in the year 
1999, are we loosening or tightening? 

putz; You want to know about right 
now? 

INTERVIEWER: Yes, right now. 

рит; . right now, I'd 
say we're in the middle of a preloose 
ing tightening. In other words, before it 
can get tight, it's got to get loose. You 
know, you can only pull a rope so tight 
and then it breaks. 

INTERVIEWER: Well, if I hear you cor- 
rectly, you sound optimistic. Are you 
ing that today's film filth is just a 
phase? 

киту: Exacly. Let me sketch a brief 
history of pornography in cinema and 
you'll sce what I mean. In the late 
Sixties and carly Seventies, there were 
more and more nude scenes in movi 
Nevertheless, with the rating system, 
least our children were protected. But 
1973. when Disney went nudie- 

INTERVIEWER: You mean with J, a 
Mouse? 

putz: That was the least of it. After 
Minnie and Daisy came a series of mar- 
riagemanual films with Flipper. That 
fuckin’ dolphin was doing it for kids. 
You bet your ass dolphins сап t 
Talk. I'd like to meet the marine sciei 
tist who taught that dolphin to say “Dil- 
do." Those were frightening years. 

INTERVIEWER: What happened next? 

роти: Soon there was no place else to 
go. The kids—young ones, mind you— 
were no longer satisfied with surface 
nudity. In the late Seventies and carly 
Eighties, we went through the “pore- 
and-follicle" period. 

INTERVIEWER: What was that? 

рит: I'd just as soon forget it. 

INTERVIEWER: Oh, come оп. It's 
isn’t it? 

рит: Well, gencrally speaking, the 
films of the pore-and-follicle period were 
simply replays of the traditional nudie 
films photographed through electron 

icroscopes. 


Tve seen th 


story, 


You're kidding. 
k then, the Young Turks 
in à se film schools wanted to get 
down to it. They thought watching a 
bead of sweat build up during sexual 
foreplay was the ultimate in cinema 
vérité. 
ERVIEWER: And that's the link be- 
tween the nudie film and French cinéma 
interieur? 

PUTZ: You mean the frog pictures? 

INTERVIEWER: Frogs? 

putz: Yeah, frogs, Frenchmen, frogs, 

ictures. You see, the frog directors 

at the principally Ameri- 
can po le films described only 
surface reality. So they went inside. The 


key film was Petitpoiss Le Proctoscope. 
That was about 1986. Seems like a long 
time ago. My son Bobby was just going 
into business for himself. 

INTERVIEWER: What came next? 

rutz: Surgery. 

INTERVIEWER: Excuse me 

putz: Surgery. The surgical period. 
You sec, people laughed “ha, ha” at Le 
Proctoscope and its imitations. They 
thought the movement would never 
cross the Auantic. “Just a bunch of 
freaky kids running around with their 
Super 8 cameras," someone said. Well, 
society always gets the films it deserves, 
and Your Heart, My Heart won the 
Academy Award for best picture of 1991. 
A team of doctors from Bethesda Naval 
Hospital split the best-surgeon award 

INTERVIEWER: The surgical period didn't 
stop with open-heart surgery, did i? 

ruiz: Hell. no. Low-budget appendec- 
tomies flooded the market. Over in Tta- 
ly. they started cranking out what we in 
the industry then called spaghetti tra- 
cheotomies, In 1993, Bettina Baker was 
named best actress for a film in which 
she had one of her lungs removed 

INTERVIEWER: Ts it true she was discov- 
ered on an operating table? 

PUTZ: Gee, I haven't heard that one in 
years. That's just another product of the 
Hollywood rumor mill. There’s no truth 
to it. No truth at all. It wasn't 
glamorous. It never is. Betti 
lungs were discovered by an Xa 
nician whom she later ma 
the photographs, took them and her to 
an agent and the rest is hi 

mrerviewer: The surgical period last- 
eda long time. 


тилу: Well that’s because the m: 
studios needed money In return for 


low-interest loans, they became affiliated 
with metropolitan hospitals. Metro com- 
bined with that Minnesota clinic. 
INTERVIEWER: Metro-Goldwyn-Mayo? 
putz: Those were the halcyon days of 
film surgery. You've never seen any- 
thing like it, Hollywood was crawling 
with cripples. Every guy who had a 
hernia figured he was an actor. Guys and 
gals with moles, cleft palates, you name 
it, stormed into town. They hitchhiked, 
drove cross-country in pickup trucks, 
anything. There's that story about a 
starving character actor who was so des- 
perate he walked into the lobby of War- 
ner Bros. and disemboweled himself. 
iyreviewsx: That's sickening. 
ruiz: As a censor, I had to 
that incident more than anyth 
put a stop to the surgical frenzy. 
INTERVIEWER: That brings us to the 
present. We've seen surface nu 
croscopic surface nudity 
nudity. There doesn't seem to be any- 
thing left; yet you're still employe 
What's filthy about films today? 
ruiz: Some perverts have st 
cover up parts of the human body. 


ee, and 
1g else 


nd internal 


ted to 


“OK—you heard I was having sex in 
here with a German shepherd! So how the 
hell is that any of your business?” 


INTERVIEWER: You're joshing. 

тит: No, I've got films right here in 
my office that would make your skin 
crawl. 

intERvieweR: Can you describe one 
delicatel 
Tz: One is called Ear Muff, and I 
think that is self- 

INTERVIEWER: It sure is. Who would 
make a film like that? 


putz: Kids College punks. Thrill 
seekers. They're always trying to do 
something freaky. It's sensationalism 


pure and simple. They've goi 
called Eye Patch 


new one 
Tm supposed to screen 
it next week. This stuff is spreading like 
wildfire. I know of at least three 16mm 
featurettes from San Francisco devoted 
to elastic bandages. They show people 
puting on ankle bandages, winding 
them around their elbows in a very рее! 
abooish manner, and so forth. There 
was a murder case in New Jersey re- 
cently where a woman was found stran- 
gled by an clastic wrist bandage. Now, 
you tell me—where do you think dat 
idea came from? 

INTERVIEWER: I suppose the maker of 
a film like Ear Muff would argue that 


filth, that it 
celebrates the car and that maybe only 
through a study of the restriction of 
sound can we truly learn the dynamics 
of the aural impulse. 

rurz: Yon sound like one of those 
fancy Kansas City lawyers. Look. I'm no 
prude. I know that ears are beautiful. 
They hear. It comes down to this: Is it 
a serious film or are the makers out to 
get a quick buck? Just the other day, I 
turned down a film that purported to be 
a history of ear muffs. Some guy with a 
phony anthropology degree made it. I 
ked ight out of here on his 
keister. 

INTERVIEWER: You are an enviable 
position. But what can a private citizen 
do? If John Doe average American sccs 
a dirty movie, what should he do? Write 
the President? 

Purz: That's just it. I don't know if 
David Eisenhower has the time. He's got 
his hands full with the war in Vietnam. 
If he can wrap it up in the next few 
weeks, as he says he will, maybe we can 
stem the tide as part of national policy. 
Until then, it’s a local problem. 


his work is art amd not 


241 


PLAYBOY 


242 


WHO STUCK THE FL’A:G 


approached the lobsterman and said: 

“Good morning. sir. Isn't this a fine 
morning?” 

“Ayuh. Finestkind.” 

Are vou a lobsterman?" 
Ayuh.” 

“How's the fishing these day 
"Wouldn't dast say.” 
“But aren't you a fisherma 
Give it up. Just go lobsterin’.” 

“I see, My name is Jim Russell. I'm 
in the sociology department at the Uni- 
versity of Maine. I'm making a study 
of people in the lobster and fishing 
industry." 

"You be?” 

“Ayuh—I mean, yes, sir, I am.” 
eke Simmons! boy?” 

d I don't. Does he go to 


the universi 

"e 

“What's he studying?” 

‘He ain't. 

“I don't understand.” 

“1 don't neither. He 
wthin' ‘cept how to jerk bulls 
I'm afraid I still don't understand." 
Gawd, boy, I He be 
interferin’ with nature. 

‘Oh, now I get it. He must be in the 
gricultural course, learning about artifi- 
cial inser 

"Ayuh. By Gawd, Zeke says they don't 
none of th h bullfighters hold 
adle to his boy. "Taint nawthin’ to 
ve a blanket at some bull and stab 
him with one of them swords compared 
to 


ain't learnt 


don't neither. 


"Really, sir, I don't believe this is 
done in quite the way you imagine. 

It ain't? Gawd, boy, I dunno. Zeke 
says some bull knocked his boy toes up. 
He failed the tes 

“I'm afraid I don't know wi 
n by toes up. 
Jeezly bull knocked him ahss over 
teakettle. They hauled him off toes up. 
By Gawd, I guess that bull musta thought 
Zeke's boy was some queah. Wisht I 
coulda seen it.” 

Im sure it would have been very 
interesting. By the way, sir, may I ask 
your name?” 

“Ben Simmons.” 

"Well, it's a pleasure to know you, 
Mr. Simmons. 

“I shouldn't wondah.” 

I would be pleased if you'd be will- 

ng to tell me a little about yourself, 
your life here in Tedium Cove, your 
amily, and so forth 
"You figure to settle healı, boy?" 

“No, sir, Fd just like to ask some 
questions. Do you mind?" 

“Dunno till I heah the questions." 
ould we sit down somewhere and 
be comfortable?" 

“You got any beali?" 


you 


m 


(continued from page 199) 


"No, but I'll get some, if you'll tell 
me where I can buy it.” 

You can git some off'n George.” 
Where can 1 find George?" 

To the stowah, right over theah. Bet- 
1 a six-pack. 
Yes, sir. I'll be right back.” 

Ten minutes later, James Russell, as- 
sociate professor of sociology, returned 
to find Ben Simmons just where he had 
left him. 

“Well, now, Mr. Simmons, here's a 
nice cool one. Open it up and let's get 
down to business. Do you mind if I take 
a few notes? 
зам, ain't that some good! You got 
other one handy?" 

‘Oh, certainly, Mr. Simmons. My, but 
you drank that quickly. 
wd, boy, I don't drink the fust 
one. I just kinda pour her into me.” 

“How old are you, Mr. 

Т wouldn't dast s 

“You mean you don’t even know your 
age? How can this be?" 


ter 


*] dunno." 
“Well, don't you know your birth- 
day?” 


"Course I do. Api уйи.” 
“Well, in what year were you born?” 
“Dunno. Never give it no thought. It 

was backalong.” 

Well, don't you have 
say you m 
old.” 

“I shouldn't wondah.” 

"Tell me about your fami 
mons. Do you have children 

Ayoh” 

“How many?” 

"Wouldn't dast say.” 

"Mr. Simmons, I've interviewed a lot 
of people. 1 don't believe Туе ever found 
anyone quite as secretiv you. You 
scem to evade a direct answer even to the 
simplest questions. I'll bet you wouldn't 
even give me the right 

“How in hel you know? You ain't 
asked.” 

“OK, ГЇЇ ask. What time is it?” 

“Dunno.” 

“Why not, 
watch on your wrist.” 

“Taint set right. She ga 
"t set her for goin’ on a week.” 

Let's get back to your children. How 
can you say you don't know how many 
you have?” 

wd, boy, you can't believe naw- 
thin’ around heah. How in hell would 
I know how many I got? I got ten to 
home, then there's three away and 
there's some I got credit for, but a feller 
can’t tell "bout them th 


океј 


y idea? I'd 
ght be about forty-five years 


Mr. Sim- 


Mr. Simmons? I see a 


and I 


“What do you mean by "away! Mr. 
Simmons? Do you have three children 
who've moved а from Tedium 


Cove?” 


“Gawd, no. They live in the Cove, 
ht to home. One of them belongs to a 
widder woman who was sufferin' some 
awful and Jess Simmons’ two kids is 
mine. Jess ain't no good, so I helped 
him out.” 

"How's Jess feel about thi 
no. I ain't never asked him.” 

“Does he know that you are the father 
of his children?” 

“Gawd, ain't you some curiou 

"I beg your pardon. Mr. Simmons. 
Can you teil me about your wi 

“Ayuh. Which on: 
You mean you have more than one?” 
Gawd, boy, you take me for a jeezly 
Mormon? ‘Cus I ain't. My fust one left 
me.” 

“Oh, I'm sorry. Do you mind talking 
about it?” 

“Damn-fool woman fell overboard off'n 
Wreck Island whilst we haulin’ 
traps. "Twas onc of them foggy days. 1 
never see hide nor hair of her agin.” 

“Well, didn't anybody recover the 
body?” 

“Coast Guard found her in sixteen 
foot of water ofn Dutch Neck. They 
was ten lobsters muckled onto her. They 
called and asked my instructions. “Gi 
them lobsters off'n her and set her 
agin,’ 1 says" 

Ben liked to embellish this story and 
see how the summer complaints reacted, 
but Mr. Russell, overcome by the enor- 
mity of it or something, simply said, 
“I'm very sony, Mr. Simmons. When 
did you remarry? 

“Oh, not for a while. I musta held off 
three or four month. 

“I see. How many children did you 
have by your first wife?" 

“1 should imagine five or si 

“Really, Mr. Simmons. Oh, well, never 
mind. So you five 
by your second wif 

“Gawd. no. She only had two after we 
was married. but she claims the ones she 
come with was mine." 

“м nmons, I get the 
marriage is a rather flexible 
ment in this community.” 

“Gawd, boy, a felle 


e had, then, four or 


lea that 
range- 


got to have a 


little on the side. How ‘bout another 
one of them beah?” 
“Oh, of course. Tell me, Mr. Sim- 


mons, how many lobster traps do you 
have?” 
"I wouldn't dast sa 

“Oh, for Clu ke. I mean, can you 
ive me some idea?” 

1 got either one hundred and ninety 
or one hundred ninety-one, that I can 
find." 

A newcomer 


wandered the 


onto. 


Hi, John. How be yuh?” 
¡estkind. Hey, Ben, I hı 
gittin’ somethin’ more'n food off’ 
new cook over to the inn." 


"Feller can heah most anythin’ ifn he 
listens.” 

“I hcah she's a little smooth on the 
tooth but right stemmy." 

“I wouldn't dast say. John.” 

“Do any good this mornin’, Ben?” 

"Got enough to pay my gas. Didn't 
need no moah. Feller from the college 
10 Orono bought me а six-pack. That'll 
git me through the mornin’. John, this 
heah’s Mr. Russell.” 

“How do you do. 
Jast name is Simmons.’ 

“Gawd. you college fellers 
rt. How'd you ever know that?" 

“It was an educated guess.” 

“Well. I be goddamned. You stayin’ 
to the inn, Mr. Russ 

"Ayuh—I mean, yes, I am. A v 
place. The rooms are pleas: 
food is deliciou: 

“Ayuh, They got a finestkind cook, or 
so I heal. You seen her: 

“Yes. I have. I've had several pleasant 
conversations with he 

“Gawd. boy. i'n you git a chance, I 
wisht you'd put in a good word for me. 


John. I assume your 


some 


mi 


y nice 


You cin tell her Ben Simmons don't 
hold no candle to the likes of John 
Simmons.” 


“John. 't 
fered Ben. 

“Well, gentlemen. I really don't think 
our cook would care to have me in 
tercede. one way or another, in her 
off-duty time. I'm sure that between the 
two of you, she'll be well taken care of." 

“Ayuh!” (Ben) 

“Ayuh.” (John) 

So long. Ben. So long, Mr. Russell. T 
gotta take my woman to the hospital. 
She's due to calve most any time now." 

“Well, Mr. Simmons, perhaps we could 
get on with our discussion 

“їп you've a mind to. I better have 
another one of them beah afore she 
cools off. 

“OL course, Mr, Simmons. Gan you tell 
me someth: about the religious life of 
your communit: 

“Profe: 
right feller.” 

You m 
the Ted 
surprised. 

“Well, now, don't misunderstand me, 
t lot better acquainted to the 
than E be to the church. They 
only got church one day a week, but the 
Reverend's got a young missus who 
ls the Gospel seven day a 
Ist the Reverend, he goes to visi 
folks and others. By Gawd, religion has 
come on strong since them two come.” 

m afraid I don't understand. 

“The Reverend Titcomb and his mis- 
sus is both of them hornier than a three- 
ball tomcat. Religion done took right 
aholt in Тейит Cove.’ 

"What denomination are they?" 


nt candles she likes" of 


you 


sor, direct to the 


come 


n you can tell me about 
Cove Church? Frankly, I'm 


"Theys Rollers. By Gawd, they beat 
hell out of them Baptists we had afore. 
Swimmin’ ain't never goin’ to catch on 
around heah. 

“I see, I think. You mean the min 
ters wile actually” 

“Oh, Gawd, boy, finest 

"That's very interesting. 

“It's some good, too." 

A small cabin cruiser pushed by a big 
Mercury outboard approached the wharf. 
awkeye e jumped from the bow, 
hand, tied up and hoped to nego- 
tiate with the natives for gasol 
Be that you, Hawkeye?” yelled Ben. 
‘Ben! How be yuh?” asked Hawkeye. 
You getting much?” 

You might call it a lot,” Ben an- 
swered modestly. 

"Em sure I would.” 

“Hey. Hawkeye, I wantcha to meet 
Mr. Russell. Hes from the college to 


d." 


Sociology depar 
few notes around here,” the professor 

“Pm Dr. Haw Mr. Rus- 
2 "D had the 
pleasure of removing Ben's appendix a 
while back. Unfortunately. the ethics of 
my profession forced me to stop there. 
I think I know what you mean, 
Russell. 


иһ," s 


Ben. “By Jesus, E think I 
may go up to the parsonage.” 

“I hear there's action there,” said 
Hawkeye. “Is it true the Reverend is a 
marriage counselor, in addition to his 
other activities? 


"You might say,” agreed Ben, "but I 
ain't heard of him counselin' no cou- 
ples. Mostly he just counsels the female 
and you gotta figure he ain't too bad. 
Lotta young folks been stayin’ together, 
just so long as the Reverend can keep 
on makin’ mornin’ calls. Hung, he is.” 


"Fm sure,” agreed Hawkeye. “The 
faith is kept in many ways.” 
Ben Simmons, with nearly a six-pack 


in him, aimed for the parsonage. leaving 
Mr. Russell and Hawkeye Pierce in the 
bright sunshine on Tedium Cove Wharf. 
“I just don’t know what to make of 
that man,” exclaimed Mr. Russell. 
“That's just because you weren't born 
and brought up around here,” said 
Hawkeye. “He may not be the exact 
average, but he's not unusual, either. 
“He's an anima laimed 


Mr. 


aps more overtly than you and 
L Mr. Russell, but quantitatively not 
much more. If I knew where I could get 
а good piece of tail half an hour from 
now, with no trouble from it, Га get it. 
Probably you would. too.” 
"But a minister's wife!" po 


sted Mr. 


tle, Mr, Russell. A minis- 
ter in Tedium Cove, whatever his de- 
nominational handle, has to be very dumb 
or very something else, with rare excep 
tions. I happen to know that the Rev- 
erend and Mrs. Titcomb are treated. for 
venereal disease about once a month. ГА 
say that they are dumb and something 

too. ГШ leave the final evaluati 


“Your dad is much too decent to mention our present 


financial c 


+ but I want all you kids to pitch in, 


especially the girls, and start charging for your favors.” 


243 


[eX 
This is the scent of 
Emeraude. 


"n 
UE 


\ To all me men who 
have loved Emeraude 
on their woman, 
but didn’t know it was 
n Emeraude. 


her Emeraude by Coty 
for Christmas. 


to you, since you're a sociologist.” 

“L must admit Fm out of my ele- 
ment,” said Mr. Russell. "I can't really 
believe this sort of thing gocs on. Well, 
I mean, I know it goes on, but is Ben 
umons going to just walk up to the 
d go to bed with the minis 


“Depends on the length of the line,” 
1 Hawkeye. 

Hi, Hawkeye,” said John Simmons as 
he appeared again. “By Jesus. Hawk, I 
was gonna take my woman to the hospit 
soon as I got through haulin’, but she 
come on quick and the state police took 
her in. J got me a new daughter.” 

“Congratulations, John. How do you 
plan to celebrate?” 

“I been broken off, except to the 
parsonage, for three month. Maybe I'll 
up and go git me a hunk of religion.” 

“Good luck, John,” offered Hawkeye. 

“Good Lord!” exclaimed Mr. Russell, 
“Ben Simmons and John Simmons are 
both heading for the parsonage. 

“Could be sociologically si 


ignificant. 


Why don't we sce what happens?" 
Hawkeye suggested. 

“Oh, my.” said Mr. Russell. 

As they approached the parsonage, 


they heard three voices, all loud, all 
outraged. "What on earth is happen. 
ing?” gasped Mr. Russell, breaking into 
a gallop. 

“Hold her up. Professor. Sounds like 
Mrs. Titcomb is defending her virtue.” 

They approached warily, mounted the 
front steps and pecked through a win- 
dow into the spacious living room of the 
old parsonage, where Ben and John Sim- 
mons were thrashing about, threatening 
each other with death and mutilation. 
Mrs. Titcomb, armed with a baseball 
bat, cirded cautiously and bided her 
time. Swish went the bat, as she had a 
dean shot at John's head, and the lights 
went out for the proud parent. 

“By Gawd, Jenny, you got him good, 
you did," applauded Ben. “Lets git 
busy afore he comes to.” 

There dull thud as Jer 
Titcomb, apparently disenchanted with 
Ben, brought the baseball bat down on 
his right temporal area. Ben sank to the 
floor and joined John in dreamland. 

“Oh, my God, my God,” wailed Mr. 
Russell. 

“This is real basic sociology, Proles- 
sor,” said Hawkeye. "I hope you're t 
ing notes. That broad has a sweet swing. 
Reminds me of Musial, the way she 
holds it up high, waiting for a shot.” 

"Wharll we do?” 

“I suppose we have to take these base 
hits to the hospital.” 

Opening the screen door Ica 
the batting cage, Hawkeye wi 


was a 


kel in, 
followed by a trembling professor of 


sociology, and said: "Congratulations, 
Mrs, Titcomb. You are two for two. Im 
Dr. Pierce. Professor Russell and I hap- 


pened to be passing and heard the com- 
motion. I guess maybe I'd better take 
over. These gentlemen could be seriously 
injured, although it’s unlikely, since you 
hit them both in the head." 

“Oh, the Lord help me; 
plored. 

"I don't know about Him, but I will, 
Jenny. Under the circumstances, it'll be 
easy for me and the professor to testily 
that Ben and John knocked each other 
out, if anyone cares enough to ask, which 
isn’t likely. 

What do you have for wheels, Profes- 
sor?” asked Hawkeye, as he examined 
the unconscious victims and decided that, 
although in need of care, they'd probably 
recover. 

A station wagon, 

"Get it, and we 
athletes to the hospi 

As Mr. Russell drove Hawkeye and 
the fallen athictes to Spruce bor 
General, Hawkeye was bemoaning his 
fate. "Wouldn't you know it?” he com- 
plained. “I take a day off, just put in for 
some gas and the first thing you know, 
Im working agai 

“You seem more concerned about 
your day off than about the lives of two 
said Mr. Russell. 

That's where you peripheral thinkers 


Jenny im- 


" said the professor. 
l| take these falle 


vs blow it, Professor. Once in the 
al, they'll get well with just token 
care, or they'll require a neurosurgeon, 


which I am not. Nobody can do any- 
thing out here. I'm just the guy who 
decides that whatever happens, you and 
I will keep the law off the broad, because 
putting the law to the broad would 
serve no purpose in this case. 

“Do you mean to sity that, if these men 
died, you'd protea that woman?" 

“Sure. Even if it got to court, no jury 
would convict her. So why let it get to 
court? Think of the taxpayers’ money 
that would be saved.” 

“I believe your attitude 

antisocial, Dr. Pierce. Society 
rules, and if these rules are broken, we 
ave no society.” 
“Think peripherally all you wan 
id Hawkeye. "Around here, Im 
own and you aren't, so nobody'll p 
any attention, even if you blow the 
whistle. What you ought to do is pursue 
this case, at the purely academic level. 
I'll bet you both these guys get a roll in 
the hay from this broad within a week 
alter they're out of the hospital." 

As Hawkeye and Mr. Russell arrived 
at the hospital and helped load В 
and John onto stretchers, Goofus M: 
Duff approached and said, "Hey, Hawk- 
eye, they've been looking for you. The 
Coast Guard sent a plane out.” 

“Goofus, you don't mean it? My pop- 
ularity knows no bounds. Are you going 
to tell me why the Coast Gu: sent a 
plane out or are you just going to hint 
around?” 


"Gee, they got a man with a 
his chest. Everybody thought you should 
see him." 

“ГИ sure as hell go along with that, 
Goofus. Even a thoracic surgeon with 
my background and exper dly 
ever gets to sce a man with a flag in his 
chest. I'm some damn glad you thought 


n the emergency room," said 
‘Trapper John is there. 
pper John, called on the hospital- 
to-Thief-Island radio, had arrived ten 
minutes earlier and found that the ра- 
tient, Reverend Titcomb of Tedium 
Cove, did, indeed, have a flag in his 
chest, the kind of sold everywhere 
during patriotic holidays. A small flag 
with a fairly firm, two-foot wooden staff, 
about two inches of which had penetrated 
the area between Reverend Titcomb's 
left fourth and fifth ribs, a little to the 
left of the breastbone. Trapper, after 
one look at the patient, whose pulse and. 
blood presure were quite normal, real- 
ized that the flagstaff had penetrated the 
intercostal space, had not damaged the 
heart, and that the wound, however im- 
pressive to onlookers, was inconsequen- 
Treatment would consist of removing 
the flag, applying a small dressing, inject- 
ing tetanus toxoid and perhaps an anti 
biotic. A day or two of hospitalization 
would be necessary to calm the patient's 
nerves, 

Trapper was in swimming trunks and 
was accompanied by Lucinda Lively in 
her usual bikini. Because he had becn 
interrupted on a day of leisure, he may 
have had a touch or two of Old Вејо) 
ful. Either way, Hawkeye knew that Trap- 
per was putting on a show. 

“Whats the word, Trapper?” asked 
wheye. 

"Not my line of work. Apparently, 
the guy's a vampire and somebody tried 
to drive a stake through his heart. He 
missed the heart. 1 got no use for vam- 
pires, and if the heart not involved, 
it’s out of my field.” 

“The only thing 
berries,” said Hawkeye, "Are you sure 
he's a vampire?” 

‘All I know is the stake isn't in his 
heart. Why don't you order a vampire 
lest" 

Turning to MacDuff, lurked 
in the background, Hawkeye ordered, 
ofus, you're the medical director. 
sh all your forces and find out if 
guy is a vampire. Remove his right 
great toenail, soak it in Formalin for 
ates and hold it up to the sun, 
“Whav'll that prove?” asked Goolus, 

“I don’t know, but it might save your 
eyesight if there's an eclipse.” 

Hawkeye had been aware of Jocko 
Allcock’s presence and had по doubt 
that Jocko would provide the basic facts 
of the case, He asked, “Well, who stuck 


your field is а 


who 


245 


PLAYBOY 


246 


the flag in Reverend Titcomb. and why?” 
Jocko was only 100 pleased to supply 
the information. “The Reverend was 
over to 
riage counselin’ S: He was 
amarriage counselin" the livin’ bejeczus 
out of her in that tent they got in their 
back yard when Jake come home. Seems 
like the old Chevy engine in his lobster 
boat blew somethin’, so he couldn't go 
aulin’ offn Egg Rock. Jake ain't got 
wthin' agin religion. but he don't hold 
with marriage counselin’. He picked up 
little flag was stuck in the Jawn for 
the Fourth of July and he druv her right 
into the Reverend's chest 

“A true patriot.” observed Hawke 

“Ayuh, I guess so,” agreed Jocko. 

A пше approached and said. “Dr, 
Mcintyre has turned. the case over to 
you, Dr. Piera 

Hawkeye went to see 
and inuoduced | 
my shepherd,’ ” 


ly Witham 


new patient 
5 “The Lord is 
the patient stated, 
“Well, now, Reverend," said Hawk- 
eye, "Em reminded of a scene from 
Mister Roberts in which a sailor, stricken 
with gonorrhea in a supposedly clapless 
arca, sought treatment from his physici 
His physician, quite logically, under the 
circumstances, questioned the patients 
basic philosophy and withheld treatment 
until he'd made the patient fully aware 
of the significance of his affliction. I can 
do no less. You, Reverend, on the day 
after the Fourth of July, have our flag 


stuck in your chest. I understand your 
emotional discomfort, but, after all, you 


are the only guy i a flag 
in your chest. I'll remove it, if you wish, 
but I want to be very sure that in the 


future you won't regret your decision.” 

“The Lord is my shepherd." an- 
swered Reverend Titcomb. 

“Just in case Trapper's wrong, will 
someone move the Stars and Stripes 
about halfway down before I pull the stalt 
out?” asked Hawkeye. 

"What?" asked a nurse, 

“That's the usual response to a sim- 
ple order around here,” said. Hawkeye. 
“Jocko, will you provide us with back- 
ground mu 

“Oh, say can you see by the daw 
carly light" sang Jocko, 
pulled the flag from Reva 
chest. 

There was no gush of blood, but 
suddenly, from afar, came sounds of 
cation, A nunc came running, yell 
a fight in the intensive- 


"Ben and John have come to а 
Hawkeye. “Jocko, why don't you take 
them home? Maybe the professor will 
take me back to my boat.” 

Mr. Russell drove Hawkeye to Te- 
dium Cove. “How'd it grab you, Profes- 
ked Hawkeye 
just don't know,” said Mr. Russell. 
figured as much.” said Hawkeye. 


hot 


“I don't like the looks of this, Achilles!” 


first amorous adventure 


(continued from page 91) 


practice. The fourth was deportment, or 
bed manners. The fifth, sixth and seventh 
were variet ed-—I have since discov- 
ered—on Sir Richard Burton's transl. 
of The Perfwned Garden, but 
the chapter on homosexuality.” 
Did you ever meet Miss Crewe after- 
ward?” 

“OF course. She was a frequent gues 
at the castle, exceedingly witty and with 
perfect manners.” 

“Did she educate the girls, too?” 

“Heavens, no! In those remote days, 
a girl had to be virgo intacta and inno- 
cent as a mountain primrose. But I 
gather that, just before the wedding 
night, the bride would manage to ex- 
tract at least the general sexual theory 
from her favorite and least discreet 
brother. Г don't know—we d only 
boys in our family. By the way, I have 
often wondered whether Miss Crew 
name derived from the act, or vice versa, 

“What became of he: the end?” 

“She died in harness, so to speak, and 
—they say—with а saintly smile on her 
= 
"Tell me, though, Godolphin: What 
was the tradition among your tenantry?” 

“The tradition of first amorous adven. 
ture? І found it a trifle ambiguous. I 
mean that the women were, or pretended 
to be, not quite so practical as the men. 
Take Jock Miller, for example; he was 
our head cowman and a Scot. One Sun- 
day his wife approached him shyly; ‘Hus 
band, dinna ye consceder it high 
that oor Du п should be instructed 

"What do ye mean by “instructed,” 
wife?” 

"UE mean instructed into God's holy 
mysteries o" natural reproduction. Hoo 
bairns are made. Yo maun begin wi 
the pollination o' flowers." 

“Och, aye, wife! Mebbe I maun do 
se me. 
later, she asked him: ‘Hus- 
band, hae ye done as I asked wi oor 
Duncan? Or did it slip your memor 

“ ‘Aye, wile, it did sac. But IIl gae to 
him the noo wi’ the instruction." 

“He found Duncan: "Duncan, laddie; 
he said, ‘ye mind what we did wi" they 
twa bonny lassies ahint the kirk wall 


s 


‘Aye, 
“Wed, Duncan, your mither would 
ac ye ken that that was preecisely what 
the bees do wi’ they bonny primroses 
on the moun! 


own first amorous adven- 
Comic, some sad, some hor- 
tific, few reprintable in a decent family 
journal. One poor fellow had found 
himself in bed with an ancient prosti- 
tute—brought there, while he was drunk 


d fast asleep, by witty Cambridge 

ad got a bad dose from her. 
an 

ped by a little f 

a box of choco- 


1s 


Apparently that was common 
ise T had kept silent and 
was clearly more than a litte embar- 
rassed. they mobbed me; and Lord Со: 
dolphin insisted on hearing the ve 
worst 

Very well, gentlemen, 
don't want to be a spoilsport. . . 
this is what I told them: 

“1 apologize for b. 
out, but. а 
the truth 
born in July 


coat of 
S scan- 


surround) 


and 
dal. As Godolphin will tell vou. before 


arms по recent 


un 


rricd girls of good family, 
vorces im good 
unthinkable. When the war broke out 
and death was soon hen the ai 
such oldestabl conventions. often 
broke down. Indeed, the. phenomenon 
of "war babies’ 
just off to the reaches 


hed 


engendered by lovers 
h three-to-one 


odds against their 
won almost uni 
not-so-good families. 

"One day. when I was a nine 


addish colonel 
med to h 


in France, our 
that he w: 


tenants—under his comma 
had to parade under the assist 
that evening to be duly defloi 
red-light establishment at 
reserved for officers. I did not admit to 
my cock-virginity. Ehat was because 1 
held a strong superstition that its loss 
would prejudice the magical power of 
survival that had so taken me 
through five months of trench warfare 
the average life of a win 

weeks at that time. This parade order 
had be shortly before the battle 
of Loos, all our four company 
commanders were killed, with hundreds 
of other ranks, and the caddish colonel 
self got wounded, not to return. I 


was six 


nd was left to 
reduced company 
second lieutenant to 


from a shell spl 
command a much 
without even a 


help me. 

I remained a resolute СМ. for the 
next year. In July 1916, at High Wood. 
I got five wounds from an cightinch 


shell, induding one through my right 
lung. half an inch from my heart. I was 
h but knew I would 
though olficially re- 
ported ‘died of wounds” They patched 
me up for another return to the trench 
es in 1917: and. now a captain but sti 
1 found myself temporarily com. 
ing the battalion, everyone else 
g been killed or wounded. Then I 
got bronchitis and pneumonia and w: 
soon reported medically unfit for furth 
service overseas. So 1 fell in love witl 
cighteen-year-old girl—of good 
and therefore also a virgi 
ried her. It would be embar 
recall our embarrassment and 
gropings when we found ourselves m; 
y bed together at Brown's Hotel on 
y 23. 1918. But 
¢ the warning hoots of 
а the crash of hombs—dui 
one of the zeppelin raids on. London— 
y the hotel cellars” 
odolphin cast me a baleful 
in the silence that followed. 
“In our family, 


m 


ї least we were 


hen he said slowly 
idered it bad taste to 
ter cour - Still, my de 


fellow, 1 suppose it was my own fault for 


insisting.” 


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Отау alent (continued from page 134) 


nst the intimacy these sug- 
gest. And if the sense of smell is deficient, 
the sense of taste usually suffers: either 
from disuse of that sense or from suppres- 
sion of it through inhibitions. People who 
find Indian food “smelly” or oral sex 
dirty" are usually those who associate 
the distinctive tastes and odors with 
activities forbidden in childhood. Such 
people are rarely adventurous either in 
bed or in life and find it difficult to en- 
gage in intimate relationships that may 
expose their inhibitions to sensory stimuli 
ise them anxiety. 

Also unadventurous, and certainly not 
, are people who abhor being 
touched. They probably become the mu- 
scum curators who put Do NOT TOUCH 
signs on every piece of sculpture or 
rework. Touchers are the people who 
disobey the signs; they want to experi- 
ence something more fully than sight 
alone allows. They also, within reasona- 
ble limits, don't take anything too seri- 
ously—especially themselves. They are 
amused by unexpected happenings that 
would be threatening to others. They 
can laugh when a joke is on them. They 
consider an unexpected adventure more 
fun than proceeding according to some 
well-defined plan and, because they find 
it so casy to relate to the moment in 
which they are living, they can turn 
boredom into relaxation and fatigue 
into pleasant drowsiness the minute they 
fall into bed. 

‘The kind of people who sense subtle 
things casily and eagerly are almost nev- 
er heavy drug users, drinkers or smokers. 
At the same time, they aren't tectotalers, 
either—people so rigid and so fearful of 
even slightly altering their state of con- 
sciousness that they can't allow themselves 
to take a smoke or a toke or a social 
drink if the occasion seems to warrant. 
Sensuous people distinguish themselves 
by their lack of need for art 1 stim- 
or drugs to free them of their in- 
They are stimulated by reality; 
ied. And this 
joy other people, things and 
a high potential 


capacity to € 
themselves gives then 
for intimacy. 


EMPATHY VERSUs SYMPATHY 
(Questions 31-39) 

Sympathy is cheap. Anyone who 

drives past a serious car accident and 


sees injured people being cared for can 
sympathize with their misfortune: At 
the very least, you think, “Those unfortu- 


nate people—thank God it's not me. 
But the far greater accomplishment is to 
encounter another ing under 
less spectacular circumstances and be 
able to literally feel his distress in such 


human bi 


248 а way that you are genuinely able to 


understand what he's saying, what he's 
doing, how he is trying to cope with some 
emotional crisis that fest have the 
institutionalized quality of a car wreck. 
Questions 31 through 39 test your ability 
to put yourself in another person's place 
—emotionally, not just intellectually — 
and honestly share whatever feelings are 
affecting him at a given moment. Here, 
the plus answers count. 

Ordinary sympathy includes strong ele 
п of superiority or judgment on 
the part of the sympathizer. Empathy 
does not; it is simple understanding and 
sharing. It is, moreover, a prerequisite to 
intimacy, creating the ability to accept 
strangers trustingly, to understand prob- 
lems one has never personally faced and 
to withhold judgment out of simple xe- 
spect for other people's differences and 
weaknesses. This has nothing to do with 
extrasensory perception—if anything, i 
should be called supersensory perception 
—but the parson capable of deep empa- 
thy may wonder at times if he is picking 
up some kind of telepathic communica- 
tions, because he's so perceptive to the 
unexpressed thoughts, feelings and needs 
of family, friends and lovers. 


SELI-INAGE AND SELE-ES 
(Questions 40-12) 


These three questions should provide 
good clues to your real feelings about 
yourself and the way you view life in 
general, Hopefully, the view is positive 
—and your answers are pluses. 

If you find yourself unlovable, you 
can expect others to find you that way, 
too. For the most part, people will ac 
cept your evaluation of yourself and 
react to you accordingly. That may 
make them unloving in your eyes, so 
you build more ba st them— 
an activity they view as hostile. Perceiv- 
ng their reactions, you likewise find 
them hostile and decide the world is a 
cold, unfriendly place. An entirely dif 
ferent cycle of interactions is set in 
motion if you are able to love yourself. 
‘Then others see you as lovable and offer 
you affection. Surrounded by love in- 
stead of barriers, you find the world a 
warm, accepting place. 

Some people understand this in the- 
огу but apply it too narrowly. They like 
themselves, they insist. But if at the 
same time a man says he doesn't enjoy 
other men and a declares that 
she can't abide the company of females, 
there is reason to suspect that they don't 
really accept themselves, cithe: 

Another test of how well you really 


woman 


c yourself is whether or not you enjoy 
spending time in your own company. 
‘The person who can't spend a pleasant 


evi 


ning alone docsn't really care much 
for himself. “The ability to be alone is 


the condition for the ability to lovi 
says Erich Fromm. It's not love but 
dependency when someone nceds anoth- 
er simply to escape feelings of loneliness. 


CHILD, PARENT AND ADULT. 
(Questions 43-50) 


The transactional analysts divide the 
self into three major components—the 
child, the parent and the adult—in a 
useful way that helps people understand 
the emotional conflicts that everyone 
experiences and must try to reconcile. For 
practical purposes, the distinctions are 
probably more valid and comprehensi- 
ble than Freud's id, ego and superego 
and are more easil 1 to the day 
to-day reality of living and interacting 
with other people. Questions 43 through. 
50 give some indication of whether an 
individual is primarily controlled by his 
ited, critical "parent," who repre- 
sents parental and social conditioning; 
by his insecure but satisfaction-seeking 
"child," who demands both pleasure and 
support; or by his "adult," the sensibly 
rational element in his personality that 
tries to mediate between his immediate. 
desires and his long-range best interes 
Ideally. the adult. mature by virtue of 
experience and good judgment. don 
nates the other elements of personality 
most of the time but still gives each 
other element its due. Your degree of 
maturity, or “adultness,” is indicated in 
this section by the number of plus an- 
swers to questions 43 through 47 and 
minus answers to questions 48 through 50. 

When the parent is in charge, a per- 
son may appear to be functioning 
eificiendy, but there is little joy or spon- 
taneity in his life. The parent continual- 
ly cautions the unruly child to reason 
and to think and to ignore his cravings 
and emotions. The rise in popularity of 
sensitivity or encounter groups in recent 
years is a sign that we realize this and 
that we're looking for ways to strength- 
en the adult-oriented child within us, At 
his best, the child in our natures is 
spontaneous, feeling and outgoing. At 
his worst, he is dedicated to instant 
gratification, regardless of the effects on 
other people or of the long-range conse- 
quences to himself. 

Most of the time, the child within us 
is a little frightened. He sees the unex- 
pected, even the unexpected arrival of 
friends, as a threat to his safely ordered 
world. s easily. "This reaction 
reinforces his fears and also the fears of 
ıhe child-doi ted adult, who then 
concludes that he is inadequate and un- 
able to cope. 

Since the child, conditioned by the 
parent, may feel that sex is a forbidden 
pleasure, people are often beset by sex- 
ual problems; it is the adult in a person 
that recognizes these for what they are 
and seeks professional help, since the 
child may think that unsatisfactory sex, 


or none at all, is an appropriate punish- 
t for unquenchable sexuality. 

Nowhere is the child in our sexual 
attitudes more evident than in a fear of 
homosexuals. for few of us have learned 
to handle our own personality compo- 
nents that w sociate with the other 
sex—and with homosexuality. Women are 
frightened of their aggressive impulses, 
men of their desires for dependence. 
Both wonder if these secret, hidden feel- 
ings are abnormal and can be detected 
by other people they've been taught to 
believe bnormal also. To keep such 
fears controlled. we ostracize those who 
arouse them—and thereby diminish our 
capacity to love. 


re 


GAMES PEOPI 
(Questions 51 


E PLAY 


) 


We shortchange our love lives when 
we try to relate to each other as actors 
playing traditional. masculin 


nine roles inst 


live. distinctive Questions 
51 through 53 attempt to gauge the 
extent to which you communicate оре 
ly and honestly without either assuming 
or assigning protective roles tha 
only prevent intimacy in relationships. 
Here, the more us answers, the bette 
not conducive to communi- 
and without communi 
1 be no acy. “The aggres- 
le and the dependent won 
ip is bound to explode or 
ex therapist Dr. Alex 
nan of Santa Monica, California. 
The trouble, in the words of Cool Hand 
Luke, is the failure to communicate. 
This is the chief. complaint. unhappily 
married wives most often present to 
we counselors, and it o a 
frequent factor in sexual incapacity. For 

i «pe of communication, and 
partners who can't talk or touch or 
express their [ears and feelings to cach 
are almost certain to experience 
sexual difheulties sooner or later. For 
this reason, the first effort by most sex 
pists is 10 re-establish, or strength 
a couple's capacity to communicate. 


can 


warns 


jı frustration after flunking 
issignment—to simply get re 
No wonder we can't fuck!" 
ed. "We can't even shake 
That insight alone was an im- 
portant first step toward sexual recovery. 

Fortunately, there are indications, ver- 
ified by surveys, that the traditional sex 
roles are on their way out. Men now 
often tell researchers that they are look- 
ing for women who are intelligent, ath- 
letio adventurous and independent— 
qualities that weren't considered. very 
f e just a few years ago. And wi 
more and more, are looking for men 
who are communicative, sensitive, cdu- 


“Look! Disorganized crime” 


ed and intel 
rong. sile 


ni—not the aggressive 
ї type" of olden days. 


WHAT YOU DO 15 WHAT YOU ARE 
(Questions 54-62) 


ior is 


A person's day-to-day beha 
gely predetermined by childhood 
ng. psychological experiences and 
acquired attitudes. It is the you th 


person's feelings and attitudes, a fact 
that the behavioral psychologists 1 
used with some success in the treatment 
ol personality problems, emotional dis- 
orders, even serious mental illness and. 
drug addiction. They've found that 
when an irrational person is coached to 
ional, he actually becomes more 
1: that when a person acts as if 
no dependency on drugs, the 
dependency is reduced. The fearful per- 
son loses much of his anxiety merely by 
putting on a brave front, and the 
depressed person can suddenly find him- 
self happy by acting happy. Questions 
54 through 62 give some indication of 
how uptight you are in certain areas 
that later portions of this an: 
deal with more specifically. Plus answers 
here suggest that your behavior is not 
working very well as a problemsolving 
device but is being dictated by your 
problems. 

Behavior manipulation and behavioral 
response are major elements in daily 
living. Parents manipulate children by 
rewarding desired behavior to reinforce 
it and by withholding rewards to dis- 
courage behavior they consider bad. 
Adults use similar tactics on each other, 
but usually in an uncon 


too often backfires, Whe 
pects her husband of 
or only wishful she may shower 
with attention in an effort to keep hi 
love—and find that she has only agg 
vated the problem. He probably feels а 
sense of guilt already and her 
affect creases h - Beeau 
doesn't like feeling guilty. he resents all 
the more her implicit demands for 
response that he will not or cannot pro- 
vide voluntarily. Or we have the woman 
who simply feels neglected, gives up trying 
1d approval with construc 
nd settles for the angry 
ited by nagging. If her hus- 
ics to deal with this phenomenon 
gging inacases in 
volume and duration until a response— 
any response—has been obtained. 

We also reinforce our own behavior, 
sometimes consciously. sometimes nol. 
At the end of the day, we take a drink 
because we've worked hard and earned 
it or because everything has gone wrong 
and we deserve it. In this way, habits are 
built, day by day. that both reflect and 
affect the personality of the individ- 
ual. For instance, if a person lives in 
disorder, it can mean he habitually 
nores his surroundings by way of sur- 
viving in them—to the point where this 
has become his style of life. 

Quite different is the person who 
guillessly pampers himself. He buys 
flowers, or whatever, because they delight 
him; occasionally he weas himself to 
luxuries at the expense of necessities. 
he will likely accord the same weaument 
to others simply to please them—not 
to impress them. The key word here 
is guiltlesly; it distinguishes between 


a woman sus- 


249 


PLAYBOY 


250 


self-pampering for pleasure and self- 
indulgence out of necd. 

A person can escape boredom even 
when alone for long periods if he has 
developed the habit of pleasing himself. 
He's not dependent on others to amuse 
him nor to structure his time. He looks 
forward to Sundays, not as dull days 
when he has difficulty finding something 
to do but as weekly gifts of time to 
spend for his own satisfaction, He is the 
opposite of the Sunday neurotic who 
works weekends at home mainly to escape 
the guilt of relaxation, which he equates 
with sloth and laziness. 

The typical Sunday neurotic doesn't 
enjoy his work any more than he enjoys 
his free time, but he absolutely loathes 
people who seem to live without 
ing and obviously do not share his 
value system nor sense of priorities. He 
wrathful toward welfare recipients 
and angry toward ambitionless street 
people and hippies. Far from occasional- 
ly envying those who enjoy an apparent 

he is psychologically 
tened by their very existence. Com- 
ve workers who cannot enjoy peri- 


ly carefree life 
thre: 


ods of complete nonproductivity feel 
like martyrs to their careers, families or 
other obligations, The cl 


thcir kind of 
equivalent suffering from everyone else, 
To say the least, such people are not 
suffici auisfied with themselves to 
te partners, except, pos 
sibly, for other. masochists. 


PLAYFULNESS AND CREATI 
(Questions 63-69) 


“АП worl 


nd no play makes Jack a 
the old saying goes. But it’s 
ably more accurate to say that Jack 
a dull boy to begin with and, lack- 
ing imagination and creativity, he finds 
i to work than to let himself go 
t his work ethic tells him would 
asteful orgy ol conversation, creativ 
ity and imaginative flights of fancy. IE he 
is to permit himself any relaxation 
must be passive receptivity to some form 
of entertainment that demands no active 
participat nd permits him, tempo- 
rily, to simply turn his mind off for 
the purposes of recharging his physical 
ind batteries. Questions 63 
through 69 measure your ability to i 
dulge in thir t least, be 
pleasurable relaxation and pleasantly int 
mate encounters. In (t plus 
answers are good signs. 

Television, many have noted. is one 
of our more effective methods of birth 
control. It can provide as many new 
id book or a newspaper or pro. 
wide topics of lively conversation. But 
for too many people, it merely substi 
tutes for interpersonal intimacy and 
dialog by providing a source of passive 
concentration until the eyelids grow 
heavy and the Jong day ends. Again, TV 


ment 


s that should, 


section, 


itself is not the villain, It just works out 
that creative, imaginative people tend 
to find as much or more in books and 
magazines to satisfy their appetite for 
new knowledge that, to them, is as enter- 
taining as a situation comedy or the | 
night talk shows, 

The point is that communicative 
people are usually creative people (and 
vice versa) who search for new inform: 
tion they can assimilate and then use in 
conversation with others, They even find 
daydreaming pleasantly productive: They 
use their fantasies not only to generate 
new ideas but to plan things and alter 
their mood: 

In general, creative people are cu- 
vious, cognizant and adventurous. They 
fondle pets, touch statuary, marvel at 
the ordinary and accept the unusual. In 
short, they explore and search for nov- 
Clty and uniqueness and refuse to catego- 
rize people simply as rich, poor, liberal, 
conservative, male, female. As a result, 
they have a wide variety of enthusiasms 
as well as friends, and their success with 
the opposite sex often astounds thei 
ssociates. "What does she see in him?" 
envious males ask one another as һе leaves 
with the girl the rest were watching. 
But it wasn't what she saw in him, it 
was wi he saw in her that made the 
difference. For he didn't see her as “a 
cute chick” or "a great bod" but as à 
unique and appealing person, and this 
feeling was successfully communicated. 
‘This is such an unusual and flatter 
way for a woman to be approached that 
her response is almost always warm. The 
same goes for men, whom most women 
treat initially as just another representa 
tive of the male sex. 

But its not just at the first meeting 
that the sensitive person appreciates be- 
ing appreciated as au individual. This 
kind of creative seeing is even more im- 
portant alter 20 years of looking at each 
other, Thats because partners imprint 
each other when they fall in love, and il 
a couple never bothers to update the 
original impression, except critically, the 
imprint is lost over the years. 
silver wedding anniversary 
hes, he looks at her and wonders 
what he is doing manied to a girdled, 
mother of three who is always 100 
tired to go to the club. And she looks at 
this balding, paunchy, plodding business- 
man and wonders what became of the 
gallant who once made her shiver with 
romantic excitement. 

Such disillusionment doesn't occur. be- 
tween creative, intimate partners, In the 
beginning, their imprints on each other 
were more than skin-deep. And because 
they never expected themselves to stay the 
same forever, they kept seeing and com- 
with each other and renew- 
g Ше imprint. They never wake up to 


the 


ap- 


find themselves well-acquainted str 
Rather, for them, the original intimacy 
and love remain and serve to continuously 
strengthen their relationship. 


GOOD-NEIGHHOR POLICIES 
(Questions 70-75) 


Because life, ar least a full life, re- 
quires close and frequent contact with 
other human beings. the ability to com- 
fortably interact with casual acquaint- 
ances and total strangers is an important 
trait in anyone's character. Questions 70 
through 75 provide clues to the posi- 
tive or negative behavior patterns you 
ave cultivated in dealing with others. 
The first three answers are, hopefully, 
pluses; the second three, minuses 

The person who feels he has no talent 

ying the piano usually doe: 

he can still enjoy music by listening to 
records or attending a concert. But the 
person who feels he has no talent for 
imterp 1 relationships doesn't have 
ich options, because the quality of his 
life depends heavily on his ability to 
interact with others. Too many individ- 
uals experience difliculty meeting new 
people or feel uncomfortable around 
strangers and conclude that sociality is a 
gilt bestowed on some people but not 
on others, They make the best of the 
situation by adopting standardized and 
fe (which usually means agreeable but 
distant) behavior responses toward others, 
Situation A calls for one response, situ: 
п B another, and so on, until some 
novel and unexpected type of encounter 
leaves them helplessly lacking a safe, pre- 
programed plan of behavior. So they avoid 
meeting new people, dislike sh 
—touching or being touched 
interpersonal contacts to а minimum sim- 
ply to minimize the chance of being 
caught with their responses dow 

This is the wrong policy. What the 
socially inept person most needs is prac- 
tice. That's what the socially adept ре 
son has been doing, intentionally or not, 
all his life. He began learning to please 
members of the opposite sex by pleasing 
those in his own family. He has prac- 
ticed relating to store clerks, people at 
bus stops, cabdriv d waitresses, ob- 
seing that they may be having a par- 
ticularly harried day and allowing for 
this, or that they seem in unusually 
good spirits and would welcome letting 
someone know. He collects their smiles, 
laughter and casual flirting as signs of 
his progress, In short, he works at 
interpersonal relationships, rejecting the 
a that advises him constantly 
that all he needs to be popular is the 
right deodorant, mouthwash, automobile 
or clothing. He knows that he can't com- 
pensate for personality deficiencies with 
cither chemicals or possessions, but he can 


E 


overcome them with personal insight put 
into constant practice. 


LOVE VERSUS NEED 
(Questions 76-85) 


That pleasant tingling sensation and 
feeling of warmth and euphoria that 
rushes through the body when one re- 
ceives an enthusiastically romantic re- 
sponse may be love; but too often it is 
nothing more than a feeling of great 
psychological relief that a strong m 
being or is about to be satisfied. Thus, 


xis 


the feeling of love is casily confused 
with the need for love. Questions 76 
through 85 attempt to determine your 
real motives when you feel that you love 
someone. The first four questions should 
have minus answers; on the others, plus 
answers аге a good sign that your feelings 
are expressive, not exploitative. 
People who fall in love at first sight 
e rarely interested in establishing an 
emotionally intimate relationship. More 
likely, they have just la on a per 
son who conforms closely enough to 
their physical ideal and who seems 
malleable enough to be changed, with 2 
Tittle effort, into Miss or Mr. Right. In 
‚ Miss or Mr. Right reminds 
on of a childhood love—an older 
or brother or a parent—someone so 
thoroughly known and predictable that 
or she represents no threat of display- 
ng individuality lor which one might 
have to make allowances, In almost every 
сазе, however, Miss or Mr. Right will not 
d cannot make the changes this kind of 
to retain affection 
|, the loved опе 
c it, soon enough the façade 
will collapse of its own weight and leave 
standing there Miss or Mr. Wrong. 
People without parental hang-ups ot il- 
lusions of changing someone, who marry 
out ol a genuine mutual attraction, can 
still come to grie if they expect too 
much of love and of their loved one and 
abdicate responsibility for their own 
happiness. Any ıwo people who think 
love conquers all are in for an 
unpleasant surprise: They сап become 
too close to allow cach other breathing 
room, too mutually dependent to allow 
other bad moods, depressions. or 
expressions ol personal weakness. And 
when one or the other turns out to be a 
Tittle claustrophobic and reverses the 
struggle in a lifesaving maneuver toward 
independence, the other only dings 
more tightly. The result is hostility on 
both sides, an emotion that the lovers 
often consider the antithesis of love. It 
isn’t. Love is a complex combination of 
ions that includes hostility, hate, 
А other feelings we've been 


nu 


se feelings 
nents of Iove can we handle the 
when a stress symptom surfaces. If we 
don't understand this, then we leap to 
the conclusion that love is dead in the 


"I suppose you think it’s easy being a bitch! 


face of anger or rejection and either 
bury it prematurely or repress the mac 
ceptable emotion. In either case, love 
loss, for a relationship that ignores 
honest antagonisms only generates the 
explosive components of a time bomb 
that will eventually explode with gı 
destructiveness. 

Partners who never fight aren't. really 
intimate; those who are intimate con- 
standy make adjustments and only the 
most minor of these are made without 
some conflict and compromis. But 
they resolve these conflicts immediately 
and honestly, without silently waiting 
for one or the other to capitulate or 
for time to simply bury the problem. 
On the flip side of this relationship are 
those love parmers who make conflict a 
way of life. If there is nothing to quar- 
rel about ar a particular moment, they 
can always dig up former loves or 
grudges, so that each can exhume an old 
jealousy or complaint. (Best of all is the 
one-time infidelity that can be flaunted 
to trigger ion and a resent- 
ful response. 

Sex is 


always fertile ground for 
conflict. Even with the bestmaiched 
partners, desire for sex doesn't always 

cide, any more than does desire fo 
aion or sleep. Differences in 
Јаша U no one's ego. but 
al appetite are fr 
quently take rejection by the on 
who makes the advance. More often 
sexual disinterest represents inhibitions 


the 
differences in 


eaten 
sexi 


pr 


or fears on the part of the partner o 
simple, old-fashioned fatigue that hasn't 


the slightest interpersonal signific 
unless one insecure partner has | 
her a 


rejection. In a secure relationship, nei 
ther fecls the need to project blame for 
sexual disappointments on the other nor 
feels that occa! 
disinterest means anything more thai 

tiredness. too much partying or too 
many emotional distractions left over 
from the day. These are problems only 
when chronic, because sex, like every- 
thing else in life, has its routine ups and 
downs. Indeed, it's when sex seems un- 
appealing that the truly intimate couple 
can give cach other the psychological 
support and nondemanding physical ca 

reses that permit sex to blossom agai 


SEX BEHAVIOR: GOOD AND BAD 
(Questions 86-100) 


In some ways, this is the most impor 
tant section of the quiz, for personality 
strengths and weaknesses tend to reveal 
themselves more acutely in sexual atti- 
tudes than in any other area of li 
This is because sex demands so much 
personal involvement and because we 
place so much importance on it in passing 
judgment on others and on ourselves. 
Questions 86 through 100 measure your 
sexual inh ions and ihe extent to 
which you allow your sexuality to give 
you (and others) pleasure, not just ful- 
fillment of physiological and psycholo; 


251 


PLAYBOY 


needs. Minus answers to questions 86 
through 93 mean your sexual attitudes 
are liberal; plus answers from question 
94 on indicate that you use sex in a 
productive way not only to enjoy your- 
self but to enhance the intimacy of a 
mature and loving relationship. 

Significantly, sex is the only natural 

physiological function surrounded by le- 
gal taboos, which illustrates the extent 
to which our culture has viewed sexuali- 
ty as something dangerous and menac- 
ing. Not only do our laws generally 
deny sexual expresion to all but the 
married, they often reinforce this policy 
by legally restricting the distribution of 
contraceptive information and devices. 
Implicic in these laws is the idea that 
the danger of pregnancy will deter 
people from engaging in sexual relations, 
as though sex, in itself, were a national 
peril. The same premise is reflected in 
most of our state sex Iaws, which uy— 
unsuccessfully, to be sure—to dictate the 
sexual activities even of married. people 
in the privacy of their own bedrooms 
Most states not only prescribe severe 
penalties for “unnatural” sex acts but 
deny women the right to terminate un- 
wanted pregnancies that result from 
natural” copulation. 
So the divorce rate soars as we strug- 
gle to preserve, by law and by social 
pressure, an ancient concept of the 
paviarchal nuclear family that quite 
possibly could stand some updating. For 
instance, various experiments in commu- 
nal living show the traditional nuclear 
family to be more of an old rural and 
rian survival device than a mod- 
cin-day necessity. Desirable? Possibly. 
especially when it serves the needs and 
mterests of those committed to the nu- 
clear family as an ideal. But, at the same 
me, the evidence is virtually indisputa- 
ble that children fare better either i 
communal environment or with a single 
parent than when unhappy partners in 
an unworkable marriage attempt to pre- 
serve their union at all costs because they 
think they owe it to their offspring. 

In its present form, marriage leaves 
increasingly large numbers of people 
h no approved sexual outlets, thus 
promoting jealousy and friction. Even 
for the congenially married, advancing 
age can be a frustrating time because of 
the myth that people should—and usually 
do—retire from sex the minute they go 
on Social Secu Some defy this rule by 
going on a promiscuous rampage in 
their middle years in an effort to have 
all the fun they can before it's too late. 
The myth of a sexless old age is one 
reason divorce after 20 years or more of 
marriage is so common and so ofien 
inspired by anxieties rather than actual 
incompatibility. 

Of course, disrupting a marriage in 
the middle years of life can make the 


a 


252 myth a reality; people without partners 


(whether old or young or in between) 
simply have less opportunity for sexual 
fulfillment and often find themselves— 
women, especially —suppressing their own 
natural and virtually lifelong sex drives 
merely for lack of an alternative, Other 
harmful myths are that pornography 
leads to sex crimes, that sexual self- 
restraint either is healthful or preserves 
sexual ability longer, that intercourse 
during menstruation is either unhealthy 
or inappropriate. 

This last notion an unfortunate 
prejudice stemming from ancient super- 
stitions There is nothing “unclean” 
about a menstruating woman, and some 
not only want an orgasmic experience at 
this time but need it for physical com- 
fort. Many of the causes of distress that 
are labeled premenstrual tension are du- 
plicates of the female pelvic state during 
sexual arousal immediately before cli 
max. Just as orgasm can accommodate 
pelvic needs in the one instance, so it 
sometimes can in the other, 

But if orgasm is considered a necessity 
for men, it continues to be regarded by 
many people as a luxury for women, 
whose greatest pleasure is supposed to 
come from giving pleasure to their 
partners, Even “J” advises “the sensuous 
woman” to play Sarah Bernhardt in bed 
and fake orgasm. Such selílessness may 
seem commendable, but Masters and 
Johnson learned in their research that 
the woman who tries to give pleasure 
“by the numbers” cannot become im- 
mersed in the mounting sensuous stim- 
uli that should also bring her to orgasm. 
This not only limits her own sexual 
pleasure but can be disturbing to her 
partner if he happens to be likewise 
acing the part of a noninvolved specta- 
tor. At least it is disturbing to Dr. David 
Reuben, the man who knows “every- 
thing you always wanted to know about 
sex,” for he goes to a good deal of 
trouble telling men how to detect a 
counterfeit climax. 

Why would a woman try to fake an 
orgasm and a man try to find her out? 
Because for too many people, perform- 
ance means more than pleasure. The 
man’s role in sexual athletics demands 
that he bring her to orgasm; and if she 
fakes it, he must conclude he wasn’t 
“good” enough and the show was hers. 
Similarly, if a man doesn't become wildly 
aroused and reach a stupelying climax, 
some women regard this as evidence that 
they lack sexual virtuosity. 

Rather a competitive picture of what 
should be the most intimate of human 
involvements, isn’t it? She pretending a 
pleasure she doesn't experience, he per- 
forming valiantly, and then playing de- 
tective to find out whether or not he has 
truly earned another gold star for manli- 
ness. Orgasm that happens as a part of 
physical communication between inti- 
mate partners js an ecstatic experience, 


but it loses much of its magic and luster, 
and sometimes becomes impossible to 
achieve, when it is the sole goal of 
se: activity. 

The pressure to perform well is a factor 
in almost every case of sexual inadequacy. 
It is such an important factor that 
Masters and Johnson find the elimination 
of this pressure an important first step 
in treating all sexual incapacity. 

Couples who would avoid sexual trou- 
bles and keep the joy in their Jovemak- 
ing would do well to concentrate on 
pleasure rather than performance—the 
momentby-moment sensual delights that 
their physical closeness brings. Orgasm 
can be a high point in that pleasure. But 
since orgasm cannot be forced nor willed, 
it can become an elusive goal. Wiser to 
heed the words of Dallas therapist Dr. 
Eun Lee Doyle, who advises: “Take 
down your sexual goal posts and enjoy 
the whole ball game, for time-outs, w 
breaks and even penetrations can be fun.” 


Now for the scoring. 

Questions 1-18, count your minuses 
Questions 19-47, count your pluses 
count your minuse: 

Questions 63-72, count your pluses 
Questions 73-79, count your minuses 
Questions 80-85, count your pluses 
Questions 86-93, count your minuses 
Questions 94-100, count your pluses 
Total — 


Subtract from this total half the 
number of zero answers to obtain your 
corrected total. 

If your corrected total score is under 
30, you have a shell like a tortoise and 
tend to draw your head in at the first 
sign of psychological danger. Probably 
life handed you some bad blows when 
you were too young to fight back, so 
you've erected strong defenses against 
the kind of intimacy that could leave 
you vulnerable to cgo injury. If you 
scored between 30 and 60, you're about 
average, which shows you have poten- 
tial. You've erected some strong defenses, 
but you've matured enough, and have 
had enough good experiences, that 
yowre willing to take a few chances 
with other human beings, confident that 
you'll survive regardless. Any score over 
60 means you possess the self-confidence 
and sense of security not only to run the 
risks of cy but to enjoy it. This 
could be a little discomforting to anorlı- 
er person who doesn’t have your capac- 
ity or potential for close interpersonal 
nships, but you're definitely ahead 


mima 


the game and you can make the right 
person extremely happy just by being 
yourself, If your score approaches 100, 
e either an intimate Superman or 


you 
you are worried too much about giving 
right answers, which puts you back in 
the under-30 category. 


“I thought you and the other robots might find these useful.” 


253 


be 
© 
m 
н 
E 
a 
R 


254 apathetic or fearful silence. And no fewe 


PRINT JOURNALISM — (continued from page 122 


lacks confidence in the press and hopes 
that lack of confidence is widely shared. 
But that lack of confidence existed long 
before he came along and for a variety of 
reasons, induding the conduct of the 
press itself. 

There are serious professors and schol- 
ars who think the roots of the contempo- 
rary situation lie in the Cold War—the 
way it was managed by Truman, Acheson 
and Dulles and the way the press put its 
shoulder to that wheel. Maybe. I won't 
рие. But I'd like to concentrate on the 
thrce big drives of the postwar years to 
discredit, terrorize, intimidate and/or sub- 
vert the press—and the way the press 
behaved in these times. 

First and most impressive was Mc- 
Carthyism, although McCarthy was only 
one agent among many including Senators 
—notably, James Fastland—and nor a few 


powerful Government bureaucracies and 
some private ones. Ihe campaign, al- 
ways carried on under the star-spangled 
banner of patriotism and having as its 
ostensible goal the elimination of sub- 
versive influences, was in reality aimed 
primarily at the more independent 


voices in the country and especially at 
certain newspapers like The New York 
Times, some of the broadasters and a 
potpourri of small fractionated media, 
largely on the libe 
Through | intimi 
blackmail, an intensive effort w 
by the radical right to silence not only 
the left but all other strains of what it 
considered disagreeable opinion. 

105 not generally recalled today how 
successful this effort was. The Times, a 
one of the chief targets, fought back 
stubbornly and, in the end, victoriously. 
But it's a measure of the viciousness of 
the assault that it should have been 
openly directed against our number-one 
newspaper—a conservative and respecta- 
ble publication that has served for gen- 
ions аз a world-recognized symbol of 
tegrity and honesty. What of the rest 
ol the glorious fourth estate during the 
assault on the Times? Surely it rallied 
to the side of its great leader, Surely it 
closed ranks against the threat to its 
cient liberties. Surely it picked up the 
gauntlet cast down by the new inquisitors. 
A survey in 1956 by Irving 
d. chen editor of the cditorial 
of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, 
showed that of 190 major U.S. daili 
some 35 papers criticized various aspects 
of Senator Eastland's effort to conduct a 
“Red hunt" inst The New York 
Times. Or nd twelve oth 
took no editorial position whatever on the 
Eastland inquiry. In New York City, the 
Herald Tribune, the World-Telegram 
nd the Daily News preserved a discreet, 


hundred 


than 33 important papers actually snp- 
ported the heresy hunt, many of them with 
vigor, including two of the Times's com- 
petitors in New York, both since deceased 
Пе Mirror and the Journal American, 
both Hearst propertie 

It is the majority, however—those 
who aided and abetted the inquiries with 
their silence—who raise the question of 
whether the press itself has not played 
a major role in the impairment of pub- 
lic confidence. If the press is not will- 
ing or interested enough to speak up for 
itself—if it fails to defend the right to 
report and criticize regardless of Gover 
ment policy—then why should the public 
render it confidence? Isn't the public 
justified in believing there is something 
wrong, that the press is not truly dedi 
cated to telling the wuth, the whole truth 
nd nothing but the truth? I think it i 
And I think it is precisely this natu 
ad inevitable public reaction on which 
gnew has so skillfully capitalized. The 
public distrusts the press because the 
press, as a whole, has failed to fight for 
nd justify public confidence in itself. 
The second major assault on the in- 
dependence and integrity of the news 
media was launched by Kennedy and 
carried to a disastrous conclusion by 
Johnson. The new and refined policy 
that emerged from the Bay of Pigs was 
best articulated by Arthur Sylvester, 
public-relations chief for the Defense Di 
partment under both Kennedy and John- 
son at the time of the Cul issile cri: 
when he was criticized by reporters for 
suppression of news, misleading informa- 
tion and outright deceit. Mr. Sylvester 

id: "[The Government has] a right, if 
necessary, to lie to save itself when it's 
going up into nuclear war. 

To be sure, this policy had been tried 
before. But never had it been stated so 
bluntly nor carried out with such sophis- 
tication. As a result, there was no press 
exposure of the missile crisis, although 
both The New York Times and The 
Washington Post uncovered the fa 
missiles had been positioned il 
Each paper knew of the G 
moves to cope with the situation and each 
kept silent because the President was 
shrewd enough this time to ask the pub- 
lishers to hold back the information 
the national interest" Once а „ who 
was fooling whom? Didn't the. Russians 
now they had the missiles there? Didn't 
the Cubans? Wasn't it the American pub- 
lic that was being fooled by not being 
given the information their Government, 
the Russians and the Cubans all had? 

The ine of agement 
further refined under Johnson, It 
s again defended by Sylvester as the 
Government's right to lie, although he 
always winced at its being stated so 


doct 


news 


baldly. This led with sure and inevitable 
steps to a complete breakdown of public 
confidence in the Government and to a 
considerable extent in the press, as the 
people watched the widening gap be- 
tween the reality of Vietnam and the 
reports and predictions of Johnson, Mc- 
Namara and Westmoreland (“The light 
at the end of the umnel,” “We have 
turned the comer,” etc, nd nauseam), 

‘The persistent afhrmation that U.S. 
planes were bombing only steel and con- 
crete was creating the greatest public 
relations crisis of the Vietnam war just 
as 1 got 10 Hanoi on Chrisumas Eve 1966 
and reported the simple fact—long obvi 
ous to anyone who had ever been to war 
or seen bombing—that our planes often 
hit hou nd civilian targets, killing 
men, women and children. From whom 
was this secret being kept? From the 
Vietnamese who were killed by the 
bombs or watched their houses de- 
stroyed? From the pilots who flew the 
planes or the commanders who ordered 
the flights? The only ones who didn't 
know were the U.S. citizens who wi 
paying the bills and suffering the consc- 
quences of the endless war. 

Because of his management of the 
news, the roof fell in on Johnson, and 
no one was able to make suitable y 
рай». Yet even after the revelations 
about the bombings, public confiden 
in the press dropped once а 
u sonably put 
it reported this before? The answ 
that the pres hadn't questioned 
Government, hadn't done its job. 

Did this exposure of “the Govern 
menr's right to produce a viol 
press attack on the Government? I 
newspaper after newspaper then assign 
its best reporters to dig up what 
actually going on? You know the an 
swer. It produced nothing of the 
Instead, even outstanding newspapers 
like The Washington Post turned. hand- 
springs in an «Йон not 10 get 
the truth of what the Government had 


was 
the 


done but—with handout material from 
the Pentagon—to try to discredit my 
reports and my reporting. True, this 


odious effort wasn't carried very fa 
was a little more than either the Pent 
gon or a complacent press could г 
accomplish. But, on in, the press 
had come off something less than a tiger 
a defense of its rights and of the pub- 
lics right to know. There must have 
been readers who began to th 
looked more and more like L. Е 
Baum’s Cowardly Lion. 

‘The third great assault on the press i 
that which has been waged, off and on 
since Nixon's election. It's only because 
this has been much more open, much 
iore of a direct legal and political chal- 
lenge that it has aroused more vigorous 
reaction, After all, it’s hard for even 
a thoroughly tranquilized press mot to 


ly 


react when ¡Us hit with a subpoena, an 
injunction or a court order. The Penta- 
gon papers produced comparative unity 
among publishers notable ex- 
ceptions of the Chicago Tribune, the 
New York Daily News, The Detroit 
News, The San Diego Union and а [ew 
others of strongly conservative bent, Yet 
there was less comment from newspa- 
pers over the narrow legal basis on 
which the Supreme Court victory rested 
and Times counsel Alexander Bickcl's 
legalistic arguments—which some felt 
even impaired the scope of First Amend- 
ment protection—than there was among 
ians. 

n the quest 
the press itself is not zealous in fighting 
Government for the fullest expression of 
its freedoms, why should the public not 
begin to wonder if the press fully de- 
serves those special privileges and pro- 
tections of the Constitution? It is a 
serious question. In countries such as 
the Soviet Union, where government 
management of news is total, public 
confidence government truth and 
newspaper reliability is nil. "IE it's pub- 
lished in Pravda,” the saying goes, 
can't be true.” 

That our own press is no more living 
up to its principles than Pravda is to its 
name—it means truth in Russian—can 
be seen in the wildfire rise of a whole 
new stratum of media. These fall into 


two sometimes overlapping categori 
One is the underground press, now to 
be found in almost every pare of the 
country, usually edited by young, often 
very young and frequently irresponsible 
journalists who Пай at all cstablish- 
ments and conyentions—including “over- 
ground” newspapers and the electronic 
media. The other is the so-called још- 
nalism review, usually edited and pub- 
lished locally by working newspapermen 
and directed at criticism and exposure 
of the sins of the establishment media. 
They are often ignored by the big press, 
but they serve an obvious public function 
by telling people things the big press 
doesn't tell all of or, of 11. 

This doesn't mean that the public 
necessarily welcomes and embraces eflorts 
to tell it like it is. The know-nothing 
element is remarkably strong. Report- 
ers in the Goldwater campaign were 
criticized and jetimes threatened by 
readers for ing down what Mr. 
Goldwater saying.” And not a few 
of the thousands of letters received by 
the Times after publication of the Pen- 
tagon papers insisted that the facts 
should not be printed, that there was 
no need lor them, that the citizenry 
didn't want to hear these things, cven 
if they were true—or perhaps especially 
if they were true. 

Just as it is entirely posible for Gov- 
ernment to corrupt the free flow of the 


news by the use of the many weapons in 
its armory, it is also possible for the 
press to contaminate itself by being in- 
timidated by the threat of those weap- 
ons, by being weak and cowardly, by 
putting commercial interest first, by 
blind partisanship. And the corrupting 
process is just al to the reader as it 
is to the reporter. There are no inno- 
cent bystanders 


This, perhaps, is why many of us 
in the press feel that, in a sense, the 
and gaucherie of Agnew, the 

of Mitchell’s legal assault, 

sguised hostility of Nixon—all 


this may serve a useful purpose in com 
pelling the fourth estate to face up at 
last to ii sibilities. 

What is at stake was well said by 
Walter Lippmann in the aftermath of 
the Eastland case: "The sacrosanct prin- 
ciple of the First Amendment was not 
adopted in order to favor newspaper- 
men and to make them privileged char- 
acters. It was adopted because a free 
society cannot exist without a free press. 
‘The First Amendment imposes many 
duties upon newspapermen who enjoy 
the privileges of this freedom. One of the 
prime duties of free jour s is that 
they should, to the best of their abilities, 
preserve intact for those who come alter 
them the freedom which the First Amend- 
ment guarantees.” 


“T would recommend his literate common sense on 
investment to everyone. Michael Laurence is one of the 
brightest economics journalists to be found anywhere” 


So says John Kenneth Galbraith of: 


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256 


FAL TAE INTERFACE cues reme o 


damn thing to you. Synthetic man 
mikes a sort of sense, doesn't it? 

watts: 1 suppose it does; after all, Chris- 
tianity was founded on the idea of can- 
nibalism: “This is my body, which is 
given for you.” 

CLARKE: You know, in this connection, I 
once remarked to a friend that I thought 
religion was a byproduct of malnuti 
tion and he answered with one word: 
“Balls!” But when you have a society 
in which millions of people live in hun- 
ger and poverty, it may be necessary to 
develop a kind of psychological fatalism, 
а belief in reincarnation, a belief in a 
better life. This was one element of my 
theory. The other was this: When you 
have starvation, fasting. you obviously 
have chemical changes in the body and 
you see visions and so forth, 

watts: I don't really think of religion in 
terms of strange visions, Arthur. 1 know 
that by taking certain drugs or by Fast- 
ing or by altering the oxygen content of 
my lungs and blood, 1 can see things 1 


wouldn't ordinarily sec. But that, to 
me, is not religion. That is physics 
Any kind of inquiry into parapsychology, 
telepathy, clairvoyance, ESP phenomena, 
psionics—all that to me is physics. I'm 
still investigating the vibrations of na- 
ture. Religion, as I sce it, is understand 
ing completely any yibration in nature. 
If there were only one speck of dust in 
this Universe—nothing else in all space 
but that one speck of dust—this would be 
matter for astonishment—i.e., religion. 
CLARKE: Science has pretty much the 
same attitude—to find the general laws 
that govern the behavior of all the mat- 
ter in the Universe and predict its fu- 
ture. The main difference between the 
religious and the scientific views of the 
Universe is that the religious mind tries 
to discover by contemplation, by logic, 
and the scientific mind says, "We can do 
only so much that way. We've got to 
experiment, to explore.” 
WATTS: Oh, no, wait a minute! The 
religious mind as we know it in the 


HOURS-5 


“Maybe you had better not come to see me anymore, Lil, 
my cellmate is the jealous type.” 


Orient is strictly experimental; it’s not 
interested one whit in dogma, in doctrine, 
in belief. It's interested in a certain kind 
of transformation of consciousness that is 
empirical and experimental. 

CLARKE: Then how is it that experimen- 
tal science made such little progress in 
the Orient? 

watts: They felt they didn’t have the 
techniques for changing the external en 
vironment and tha 
change the inner one, the consciousness. 
Thats where they made their progress. 
Religion the West is largely a matter 
of belief in a cert heme of things, 
and in morals. Neither of these two 
questions looms very large in Hinduism 
and Buddhism, Morals to a certain ex- 
tent, yes, but they aren't interested in 
whether you have the right beliefs and 
the right ideas so much as whether you 
have a certain kind of experience. And 
that can be reached only through an 
experimental process—the process of ex- 
perimentation called yog: 
CLARKE: What do you mcan? 

watts: Like chemistry or biology, it's all 
empirical; its trying to find out nor 
what the right words for it are but the 
consciousness of the thing. Now, there 
are certain respects in which science is 
not empirical, certain ideas of the na- 
ture of matter that can be represented 
only in mathematical terms. That is 
really the most amazing kind of theolog- 
l exercise, because it’s all based on 
formulation, and formulation is dogma. 
"The whole idea of dogma is the right 
word, the right formula. The contro- 
yersy about whether God the Son is of 
one substance with the Father, or of like 
substance with the Father, could be com- 
pared to the current controversy about 
the steady-state Universe versus the big- 
bang theory. 

CLARKE: The difference, of course, is that 
thousands, if not millions, of lives were 
lost over the first controversy. As far as I 
know, very few physicists haye been 
murdered by physicists, though 


other 


they have occasionally lost their jobs; 
nor have they slaughtered scores of 
innocents 


WATTS: Don't forget Hiroshima. 

CLARKE: That was politicians, not physi- 
cists. 

WATTS: It was physicists, too; they can’t 
absolve themselves, though they were 
hardly alone. The hydrogen bomb is the 
end result of a fundamental hatred for a 
life in which everything is regarded as 
an object and has attached to it only 
those values that we attach to unfeeling 
machines. Ernst Haeckel termed the 
force of the Universe blind energy and 
Freud called the psychological force 
blind lust, and both defined intelligent 
beings—ourselves—as statistical flukes in 
an essentially stupid process. As a result, 
there developed this hatred of process, 
of nature, this antagonism to it. Even 


though Haeckel and Freud and their 
successors call themselves scientific natu- 
ralists, they are against nature; they fight 
nature, Nature is unpleasant; nature is a 
nasty dog-eat-dog system and we are out 
to beat it. 

CLARKE: Alan, I have a long-standing bias 
against religion that may be reflected in 
my comments. It's always seemed to me 
that many religions made statements 
about the Universe that at first there 

no way of checking. For the sake of 
argument, ler's stick to the Christian 
view, which is the only one I really 
know much about—the carly concepts of 
the Earth's being the center of the Uni- 
verse, the world being created in seven 
days, that sort of thing. Now science has 
given us what seems to be definite 
knowledge about many of these matters 
that at one time would have seemed 
beyond the possibility of any knowledge. 
And in almost every case, it turned 
out that the religious statements were 
nonsense. Because of this, I've always 
felt hostile toward those religions that 
made such assertions and then persecut- 
ed and even murdered the people who 
proved they were not true 

WATS: That sort of thing was almost 
uniquely confined to Chi 
and, to some extent, Judaism. There 
has never been any ghost of a notion of 
a fight between science and the Hindu, 
Buddhist and Taoist traditions. 

CLARKE: Be that as it may, the Christians 
and the Jews and the Moslems have 
been pretty damned uptight about sci- 
ence. at the appalling atrocities, 
the religious wars, the Inquisition. the 
psychological havoc wrought on individu: 
als by the Christian tradition right up to 
today. I was once tempted to state that I 
thought Christianity was the greatest dis- 
aster that ever overtook the human race. 
WATTS: I would agree with you—as far 
as any sort of official Christianity is con- 
cerned. Official Christianity has always 
opposed its own mystics. 

CLARKE: One of the great ironies of histo- 
зу was when Father Xavier's colleagues 
ived in China to carry the knowl 
edge of the West into the backward 
Orient. They found а culture that 
believed in a Universe that was infinite 
in space and time, an image of the 
Universe remarkably accurate in terms 
of the way the Universe really is. But 
the Jesuit priests brought with them 
their Dantesque Ptolemaic ideas of the 
Unive «b the 
Chinese know- t 
nter of the 
th a 


and 
barh; 


rapidly convin 
you 
lly the c 
Universe and the stars w 
pheres a litle 
Chinese abandoned their cosmology. But 
now that we're finding out where we 
we may regii 


ians. 


ions of scientific astrono- 
n a way, the Hindus have. and 
therefore have a greater serenity about 
time and the future. That's been anoth- 
er of our major problems. Western man 
lived for centuries under the desperate 
of thinking he was created in 
and that the Day of Judgment 
g any time. In this short, linear 
Universe, you've got only onc life to 
make it, baby, and you better do right, 
because if you don't, you're going to be 
damned forever and ever. Fancy beliey- 
ing that! 
CLARKE: Millions of people still believe it. 
That's what I meant when I said what a 
disaster Christianity But I think one 
should be made clear here. In this 
country, people tend to confuse religion 
with a belief in God. Buddhists don't 
necessarily believe in a god or a supreme 
being at all, whereas one could easily 
believe in a supreme being and nor have 
any religion. 
wans: Most people don’t realize how 
many alternative ideas of God there are. 
A Christian apologist will start out with 
excellent reasons for belicving that there 
i British Member of Parliament 
once said, "some sort of a something some- 
where." And you immediately equate that. 
with the Biblical God, who is really 
barian modeled on a Near Eastern tyrant. 
Nobody would think of inviting that God. 
10 dinner. 
CLARKE: They wouldn't have much to say 
to Him if they did. But religion doesn't 
really serve the function for most people 
1 t once did 
WATIS: The standard-brand religions have 


5. 


bar- 


» 


ight tiny reindeer. 


been obsolete for years; nobody's inter 
ested in them anymore. They reali 
this and they're trying desperately to 
win people back by having things like 
jazz Masses and bingo. The Roman 
atholic Church made the greatest of all 
foolish mistakes by putting the M. 
the v cular to make it understandable 
to people. who then realized it w 
resting. after all. Whi 
priests muttered it in Latin, they 
doing it for the sound, because the med 
tative exercise requires concentration. on 
You chant and get 
note going and thats a mantra and a 
magical thing. 1 can get large numbers 
of people interested in a religious ob- 
servance that is pure ritual, a ceremony 
everybody chanting, say, “Hare 
A lot of people like to get 
together to have this sort of religious 
service, which is nothing more than a 
support for contemplation or for feel- 
ings of the weird and marvelous. I think 
a sense of awe is a rather necessary 
component of life, so I think there's 
going to be a revival of very colorful 
religious exercises with a minimum of 
sermonizing, of didactic elements. Tm 
not talking about the Jesus freaks, inci- 
dentally; to my mind, they're an unfor 
tunate recrudescence of the lunatic fringe 
of Protestantisin, 

- The snake worshiper 
lapse into a r 
like at a Negro religious 


ize 


s in 


very in! 


were 


sound. that one 


Krishn: 


occasionally 


service, where they soon stop 
so-called sense and genuine Afric 
gion finally emerges from its Christian 


disguise and the 


258 


nd starts talking in tongues 


—slossolalia 
CLARKE: Isn't that just an emotional cc- 
è Is it any different from square 
you т get 


dancing, you get into а dimension that 


s religious. 
Us just a sort of primitive 


CLARKE: But 
Alan. 
WATIS: I'm not willing to use the word 


ecstasy 


primitive. 
CLARKE: ] wasn't using it 
putting it down. 


the sense of 


WATTS: You get the same thing with 
almost all al dances. particularly 
those of animistic, shamanistic tribes, 


does it mean anything 
on isn't supposed to mean 

ning of “halle- 
h”? Irs just whoopee. WI 
ning of the galaxies. the spiral nebu- 
lae. the quasars? They're just immense 
igs. like Mozart's Jupiter Sympho- 
These meaningless religious celebra- 


CLARKE: В! 


ny. 
tions are not so much primitive as basic: 


and if you can’t let yourself get into 
their spirit, you're only half alive. The 
result of all ihis is that you're going 
to get. and already have. a tremendous 
uprising of interest in mystical. religion 
among the intelligent population of the 
ted States, 


ons are nothing but sexuakregula 
‘The only thing anybody 
ch for is for 
Saat especially a herero- 
ndal. You can get with 
being homosexual if you don't Haunt it, 
kl many good priests are. But, strictly 
speaking. the Church worries. pri 

about sexual У tion 10 sex is 
not without rcason, of course. In thc late 
Roman Empire, it was considered a great 
kick to go to the Colosseum and watch 
Hoatloads of pretty girls hauled around 
the wing and laughing 
suddenly they were surprised by wild 
mals who tore them to pieces while the 
spectators masturbated in the stands. 
aturally. when the Church got powerful 
enough, it moved in and said enough is 
enough. It may have gone too far. but 
that was understandable under the cir- 
cumstances, The point. of course. is that 


nd then, 


ena, w 


circumstances have long since changed, 
but 


the Church’s atitude hasn't, 
ny of the laity are now reject 
leaving the Church because of it. 
CLARKE: Some of those within the Church 
are refusing to accept it as well. But my 
own opinion is that morals are too im- 
portant to be left to the clergy. 
WATTS: I think a lot of these questions 
about sexual morality have been con- 
fused with statistics. As when the sinner 


confessed. "Father, I've committed adul- 
tery.” And the father asks, "How many 
mes?" And the sinner says, "Father. I 
сате here 10 confess, not to 


qualitative considerations. not oi 
often nor how long nor with whom— 
that has nothing to do with i 
feelings. the aesthetics of it. the 


s of it, the etiquette of it—to me, 


re very important considerations, 
CLARKE: I often want то ask what right 
the Pope has to regulate marriage; what 
does he know about it? 

WATTS: That sexually inexperienced peo- 
ple such as priests should be marriage 
counselors is absurd. almost as absurd as 
the institution itself, which is based on 


the two completely incompatible prin- 
ciples of the old-fashioned arranged 
marriage between iwo feudal family 


ge, which 
I cam under 
ed sense, 


dynasties, and romantic ma 
is based on falling in love. 
stand marriage in whe 


but then it was always assumed that 
there were concubines. 
CLARKE: Kenneth Clark summed it up 


very well in the Civilization se 
wwe without love al- 
arriage. 

e has defi 
Arth 
to cont 
line. 


he said that marri 


ways means love without 
WATTS: without такті. 
nite the race, 
Marr dren, 
the family 
now, 


Lore 
adva 
e implies dı 
dynasty or your 
il m. 
his numbers: and if he forgoes children. 
there's not much point in formal mar- 
riage, except to legalize or sanctify sex 
ual relations. 

CLARKE: We have to look on sex as some- 
thing other than a way of producing 
olfspring. 

WATTS: We have to start seeing sex more 
and more as play. The playful element 
of it is obvious, bec ure has al- 
ways been playful; the economy of me 
ture with respect to sex is extremely 
waste 

point 


‚cs for 


But 
п is to survive, he has ro limit 


ise 


ol view: 
throwing seed around. Of course. 


gate 
I don't 


look upon nature as being 
look upon nature as a gas, 
jazz that’s going on. Whethe 
cessful” or not is completely uni 
There's obviously a total mism: 
the utilitarian aspects of sex are 
concemed, because a single man could 
fertilize the entire human race—and in 
about ren ejaculations, at that; statisti 
cally, we're as bad as the oyster. If you 
doubt that, look through the microscope 
at your own spermatozoa someday. It's a 
profound emotional experience to look 
down at those millions of you on the 
slide. incidentally; it’s then you r 
res ev ib ats dtm o Mi 
being as a disposable container for 
A. But nature is profligate with 
seed, as you put it, Alan—as a hedge 


inst the future. It’s like people taking 
i nce against possible disaster. 
The future doesnt worry me, 
Arthur. because I know that deep wi 
in me I'm really God and that absolutc- 
ly nothing can go wrong. 

CLARKE: You're mistaken, Alan; Z am God. 
watts: It’s truc for you. too; it's true for 
Really. nothing at all can go 
wrong. because I know that I am God i 
. That's a very difficult thing to 
n Western culture. but it's very easy 
to sav it in India. because there every 
body knows it’s mue. Jesus knew this 
but couldn't possibly say it in his a 
ture without being accused of blasphemy, 
which was what happened, and they killed 
him for it. Christians never understood 
him. They said, “Sure, Jesus is God— 
but nobody else is” and that strangled his 
teaching at birth. 

CLARKE: 1 belicve a few things сап go 
wrong. Fundamentally. Im an optin 
and Г believe the future is not predetei 
mined, that to some extent we can de- 
termine our own destiny. By thinking 
about the future and its possibilities, we 
do have a chance of averting the more 
disastrous ones. This is why T believe 
that the interest in the future that is so 
common now is a good thing. There are 
suspect ways of looking at the future. of 


everybody. 


course—astrology, divination, that sort 
of thing. 
wats: The Book of Changes, the I 


is essen 
nd ii 


Ching, 
astrology 


lly the same thing as 
s been used in а sophi 

ticated culture for at least 9000 years, 
perhaps longer. I think astrology 
highly unsophisticated and fumbling in 
its use, at least as a method of predic- 
on. but it’s entirely right in principle. 

CLARKE: My immediate reac His fO ха 
that it’s entirely wrong in principle, that 
it's absolute nonsense. 

I don’t believe in astrology as 
criced. I consider it only as a way of 


ing at things that might have poten- 
tial if it were seriously developed. 
CLARKE: Ап attempt to relate man to the 
Universe? That's good idea, but T 
don't think it can he done with astrolo- 


all. What all the 
totally dead 
s mis ng. 
inst astrologers 


gy. if it can be done 
astrologers are doing is a 
end: than i 
Perhaps bi. 
because I live in a country where so m 
people's lives are based on 

WATTS: My point u ask for a 
picture, a chart, of a human being and 
the astrologer gives you a horoscope 


worse 


This is a very crude map of the Uni- 
verse centered on that individual's 
birth. The defect of astrology is that not 


only is the chart incredibly crude, the 
astrologer doesn’t know how to read 
he's got purely mythological meanings 
attached to the gravitational influences 
of the various heavenly bodies. The 
astrological chart of an individual 
а map of an organism/environment, a 


“I invited you to spend Christmas Eve at Grandma's house, 
right? Well, that's Grandma and this is her house." 


259 


PLAYBOY 


“In my youth, we had none of this 
cold-blooded arranging of marriages by computer, For 
example, I won your mother in a crap game.” 


field. Rather than trying to make sense 
out of highly localized events going on 
in that field, an attempt should be made 
context of the 
arca in which theyre happening. The 
total context is the Universe, insofar as 
it impinges on us—und we don't know 
how far it impinges on us. 
CLARKE: I suspect very little, If the rest 
of the Universe suddenly disappeared, 
apart from the Sun and the Moon, it 
would make no essential difference to 
life on Earth. 
WATTS: The Sun wouldn't be here in the 
first place if it weren't for the gi 
© 10 enlarge our scope to see 
> because we are in a signifi- 
t context. As for astrology, in the 
development of scientific ideas, all the 
ajor steps are made by calling into 
point of common 
n we discuss space, for c: 
ple, we discuss objects in space and. proc- 
esses in space, but nobody ever discusses 


n- 


space itself. Buckminster Fuller once 
told me that space is just “negative event” 
and I said. “Yes, but isn't it basic that 


vou can't have nothing without some- 
thing?" ‘The basic assumption of Western 
thought is ex nihilo nihil fit—that out of 
nothing comes nothing at all. My assump- 

n is that out of nothing comes some- 
thing. You can't possibly imagine а 
solid without space; you can't imagine 
space without a solid, They're like р. 
ve and negative poles, But the common 
sense of Western m: nd I include 
most Asian peoples as well—almost com- 
pletely excludes the negative clement. 


260 It’s our definition of tragedy: The Uni- 


verse runs down and in the end there is 
nothing. And we say, “Oh, that's so 
sad" What it comes down to is our 
terror of death. And though you may 
not agree with me, Arthur, this fear of 
death is one of man's major problems. 
Human beings will always be in the sort 
ions we're worrying about now 
as long as they are so terrified. 
CLARKE: Could you explain that? 

WATTS: For one thing, to rule people, 
you mustn't let them know that death is 
nothing to be afraid of, because then 
you've got no threat left. This fear of 
death is also one reason people are 
afraid to look imo the future; they 
think its going to end in death, and 
that’s a major taboo. I recently read an 
article on the demoralizing effects on a 
family group when the impending death 
of one of them is being concealed by all 
the others. That's stupid. In my function 
as a shaman, I've watched many people 
die and told them they were going to 
die and that this is the supreme oppor- 
tunity for hu happiness—to let 
yourself go entirely and stop caring. Just 
give in, give up. And when you do, you 
suddenly get this tremendous surge of 
energy 
CLARKE: Like letting the current sweep 
you away. 

watts: And the energy of the current 
sweeping you away becomes yourself. 
You are that energy with which you're 
ng out, Karlfried von Dürckheim, a 
an nobleman who once studied 
Zen Buddhism in Japan and now has a 
sort of ashram in the Black Forest, told 
me some years ago that a great deal of 


had to do with people who had 
survived almost certain death or utter 
hopelessness during the war. There may 
have been a bomb falling, they heard 
the scream, they knew it was all over— 
but the bomb was a dud. Or they were iı 
a concentration camp without any hope 
of release, or they were displaced per 
sons with no future. If, in each of these 
cases, the person completely let go and 
accepted the situation, he suddenly had 
that kind of experience we call cosmic 
This is the fecling that 2 
erse and there is nothing to 
worry about. It is a joyous, ecstatic state. 
friends about this 
feeling later. their friends would usually 
iss it and say, “Well, of course you 
tremendous stress. You must 
have been a le insane.” But Von 
Diirckheim told me that his work was, to 
a great extent, reassuring these people 
that they did, in fact, experience some- 
thing very important, 

CLARKE: The trouble with this feeling, 
this sort of transcendental feeling of 
cosmic consciousness, if you like, is t 
you can never prove it. Jt may be just a 
defense mechanism of our minds taking 
over in an emergency. 

watts: We can prove it, because a de 
scription of man from a biological poin 
of view is more consistent. with that way 
of feeling than with our actual feelings. 
CLARKE: Then why do we have these 
actual feelings if they're fundamentally 
false? 

watts: Because they come from pre- 
scientific cultures where they only occa- 
sionally have breakthroughs into a 
different kind of feeling, which they have 
to call mystical experience or some funny 
word like that, whereas actu: 
have broken into ecological awai 
But what Гус been trying to say here 
is that accepting death is the key to 
freedom. There's a Zen Buddhist poem 
that says, “While living, be a dead 
man, thoroughly dead. Then, whateve 
you do, just as you like, will be all right. 
In other wor you have let go of 
yourself, you're no longer worried about 
death, You feel very free. АП € 
borrowed time; it’s all for gravy. The 
biggest hang-up that human beings have 
this death thing. and Chr 
hasn't helped much on that. It's being 
te that confers individuality on us; 
's death that enables us to be individu- 
п the best sense. I'm not saying that 
iduality is unreal—i y 
but individuality is a function of being 
an activity of the Universe, here and 
now. When you study an organism, hu- 
man or animal or insect, it cannot be 
differentiated from its environment. The 
whole thing is a process; although there 
are differentiations within the process, it 
is a unified field of behavior. Unfortu- 
y, the average man has по sensat 
organism/ environment entit 


ne is 


CLARKE: You know those works of art 
that are made up of a pattern of lines in 
which, when you look at it, you can 
make out a figure even though it’s just a 
pattern of lines? You don’t always sec it 
first and you can't separate the image 
from the background; it’s all continuum. 
In the same sense. we're continuum, a 
rt of ure. This accounts for the 
illusion of individuality that you're talk- 
ing about, Alan. But whether or not 
dividuality is an illusion, its a 
imned convincing one. 
watts; It is. But this convincing illusion 
of individuality isn’t quite an illusion. 
ach organism really is different from 
its environment the sense 
north pole of a magnet is diff 
the south or the front of something 
from the back; they're erent, but a 
the same time they're inseparable. The 
determinists will tell you that the organ- 
i the puppet of the environment; 
illists will say that the orgs 
n kick the environment around to 
a great extent. 1 want to say that there's 
a single dance 


ever 1 tend 
nyone tries 


grasshopper mind. But whe 
to pet into deep waters or 
to pull me into them, as you are trying to 
do now, I remember a remark of Stan- 
ley Kubrick's that is one of the many 
useful things Гуе learned from him. Не 
once said that the only real problem is 
what to do next. And it seems to me 
that this is what we should really get 
down to—what should the human race 


s 


do next? 
WATIS: This isn't as abstruse as it 
sounds, Arthur; it deals directly with 


what is perhaps our biggest problem of 
all—man's relation to his environment. 
And what we do about our environment 
will depend on our attitude toward it. I 
ude is a hostile 


me, just as an apple tree apples the 
Solar System peoples and, therefore, it's 
System and, therefore, a 
That means we've got to 
a great deal more recognition of 
the interdependence of all processes— 
and I [ail to see any dichotomy between 
n and the nonhuman. In 2001, 

example, the characters begin to 
develop a real respect for HAL; they 
don't want to hurt its feelings. They 
always look toward the console—even 
though they know that HAL is not 
“ar” the console—because it’s polite to 


person, 
you can also treat an and plants 
with a special kind of respect that we 
nply dont have. 1 also think you 
should have these same attitudes in deal- 
with a river. 


CLARKE: That almost sounds like a reli- 
gious attitude, 

WATTS: It’s a form of a ism, which is 
probably the most primitive of all reli- 
gions, wherein all natural entities arc 
treated аз people and addressed and 
spoken to, whether it's a mountain or a 
plant or an animal or an ocean. We 
could use a little of this attitude when it 
comes to our ecological problems. For 
example, you know they want to turn 
Black to beer cans, don't you 
They want to demolish this huge chunk 
оГ coal, which is the Hopi sacred moun- 
ain, slurry it with billions of gallons of 
water from the water-table area and 
send it to а power plant that will conva 
it into electricity for Los Angeles, where 
its primary industrial use will be in the 
manufacture of aluminum for airplane 
skins and beer cans. What I find lacking 
in all this is the recognition of our 
environment as something to be respect- 
ed and shaken hands with brotherly 
We've got to recognize the right of 
this so-called external, objective world 
to be treated as something as alive and 
This may not sound very 
scientific, but it makes more sense than 
the people who suggest that because we 
sent a man to the Moon, somehow we 
can use the same approach to handle 
our environmental problems 

CLARKE: People who say that we could 


Mesa 


w 


real as we 


use the systems approach in cleaning up 
the environment don't fully understand 
problems involved. These problems 
thousands of times more difficult 
going to the Moon, because they 
contain an incredibly complex network 
of human elements. You can't do any- 
thing to society without dealing with 
llions of people, all of whom have 
different ideas and objectives. The best 
the systems approach can do is to mal 
a kind of map of the situation, and 
there's always the danger that somethi 
vital might have been left out because 
it's so inconspicuous—the equivalent of 
n underground river. Suppose we 
found out tomorrow, for example, that 
aspirin produces lethal mutations alter 
ten generations? Then there's the the- 
ory t 1 plumbing, lead 
pipes and lead utensils that contributed 
to the decadence. both physical and 
mental, of the wealthy Romans. You cin 
never be sure about this sort of th 
we may have been nibbling at lead 
paint or its equivalent for the [ 
years without even knowing 
one of the arguments in favor of space 
travel, incidentally: We have 100 many 
eggs in one basket here on Earth. When 
up independent colonies, then 
disaster on one won't necessarily wipe 
out the whole human race. 

watts: Something that’s always bothered 


the 


we set 


261 


PLAYBOY 


262 


me, Arthur, is what are we going to do 
about our atomic wastes buried in places 
like Hanford, Washington? Those con- 
crete storage boxes are going to wear 
open sooner or later. 

CLARKE: There will be some very horri- 
ble surprises for archacologists in the 
Future, won't there? Perhaps the most 
prictical solution would be to simply 
transmute them via some sort of nuclear 
process into something useful. I once 
said there's no such thing as garbage— 
only ls that we're too stupid 
tou 
WATTS: What about this recycling of news- 
print we hear so much about? 

CLARKE: This is an argument in favor of 


the electronic communications system 
nd 


that just hands you the information 
not the wood pulp—you don't need th 
unless you want to light a fire or use it 
for toilet paper. And, incidentally, every- 
thing is recycled: we never use anything 
up. We're incapable of using anything up: 
we just convert it into something else. 
WATTS: You mentioned the dangers of 
not taking everything into account when 
it comes to problems of the environment 
or pollution and, of course, the obvious 
example is phosphates detergents, 
which do a great job of cleaning and 
promptly caused the explosive growth of 
algae in our lakes. 

‘There are all too many other 
s. You could take the case of 
Ceylon, which is a textbook study of the 
use of DDT. Ceylon has always been 
ged by malaria, which probably de- 


stroyed the Singhalese civilizations of 
the First Millennium, which had built 
some of the greatest irrigation systems 
and cities on this planet—fantastic engi- 
neering works with artificial lakes 20 or 
40 miles in circumference. In the middle 
1940s, there was another great malaria 
epidemic and thousands of people died, 
so Ceylon was one of the first places 
where they used DDT on a large scale. 
They wiped out the mosquitoes, the 
malaria rate dwindled to zero, and then 
the population rate soared, doubling in a 
generation, In addition, the DDT рої 
soned a lot of fish and other useful 
animals. The problem now is switching 
10 something less dangerous, such as 
biological control—importing a certain 
fish that gobbles up the mosquitoes. and 
people, eat the fish. Biological 
control ally much more satisfactory 
and often a lot cheaper. 

warts: One of my greatest friends is 
the poet Gary Snyder, who has also been 
very much exposed to Far Eastern think- 
nd is also tremendously concerned 
with our ecological problems. He claims 
that you cannot work effectively for 
good ecology unless you realize that it 
isn’t necessary to do anything in the first 
place. You've got to work from the prin- 
ciple that nothing can go wrong in th 
Universe, that all mistakes and catas- 
trophes are purely temporary occurrences 
and that nature has an infinite richness 
and will pl 
again, indefinitely. IE you have that kind 
of confidence inside your gut, you won't 


“You twitched and whinnied all night!” 


work for proper ecological behavior 
ith panic as your motivation. 
CLARKE: This is complete fatalism—why 
work at all? 
warts: What I'm trying to say is that 
while I'm very concerned about our 
ecological problems, I'm not worried, 
even if the human race blows itself to 
pieces, which would be what the Hindus 
call Kali Yuga, the end of the cycle. 
CLARKE: That sounds like a good reason 
for not doing anything. 
watts: I know it does. But you'll find 
this sort of philosophical paradox clsc- 
where in history. Calvinists, for exam: 
ple. believe that God in His inscrutable 
dom will damn some and save some 
—regardless of how virtuous or evil they 
may be—and there's nothing you can do 
to change it. Logically, you would think 
that Calvinists would be very irresponsi- 
ble people; but instead, they're energet- 
ic, excessively moral people. 
CLARKE: E don't understand that at all. 
WATTS: The reason for it is this: Tf you 
have that kind of confidence in the first 
place, it gives you tremendous energy 
and an essential joie de vivre with 
which you can accomplish all sorts of 
things. You're not wasting energy in a lot 
of static emotion. 
CLARKE: That's not a philosophy; that's a 
psychological dodge. 
Watts: [ll grant you it’s a psychological 
dodge. As a Buddhist, I'm not really 
interested in philosophy, I'm interested 
in states of consciousness, Philosophy be 
damned! That's just concepmalization, 
thats trying to explain the music in 
to 
participate in the music and dig it. TE 
you do, then there's energy available for 
working on our ecological problems, But 
I think you have to start to do this very 
urgent. necessary work from the stand- 
point of joy, not that of panic. 
CLARKE: As far as our ecological situation 
is concerned, I think we could do with a 
little panic in the right pla 
WATIS: At least we can both take some 
comfort that there is a good deal of 
awareness about our ecological problems 
now, particularly among young people. 
There have been ecology days and envi- 
ronmental teach-ins at some of 
schools, and Fm sure ecology is even 
taught at some 
ich brings up another of our ins 
tions that are in trouble, Arthur 
educational system, The charge usually 


words, whereas the important thing 


universi 


our 


leveled against it is that it isn’t very 
relevant. 
CLARKE; The edu al system must 


alw: be at least 
the times, because 


a generation behind 
the teachers are out 
of phase with the students to that ex- 
tent. This really didn't ter, of 
course, until about 100 years ago. We 
run into a feedback problem here; the 
time delay is now just 100 long 

WATIS: A good deal of the problem with 


n is that it's compulsory, and 
a contradiction in terms. I think 
education should be free to anyone who 
wants it—and if they don’t want it, to 
hell with them. But what we've actually 
got is compulsory university education, 
because for so many forms of employ- 
ment, you must have a college degree 
and, therefore, if you can't afford it, 
the state must give it to you. So we've 
created. these tremendous educational m: 
chines to the total detriment of scholar- 
ship. My idea of a free university is not 
one that's free from discipline but one 
where absolutely nobody has to go; 
you're there only if you're really inter- 
ested, To pass the admissions exami 
tion, you would have to prove not only 
that you could perform certain intellec- 
tual disciplines but also that you liked 
doing them very much and that you 
would be happy belonging to a commu- 
nity of scholars. 

CLARKE: One of the difficulties is that life 
has become so much more complex; the 
number of interconnections and the rate 
at which everything happens have in- 
creased enormously; it’s almost a quan- 
tum jump. What worries me is how we 
can increase the rate of our input to 
cope with it. Perhaps someday we'll de- 


velop the so-called mechanical educator, 
which wi 


1 stamp knowledge into our 
phonograph record. is 
stamped out in a press 
warts: Another problem is how we take 
in information, how we scan the envi- 
ronment. Our conscious thinking proc 
esses take in information bit by bit, one 
g at a time; they're lincar methods 
scanning a nonlinear environment, 


for 
one in which everything is happening 


everywhere at once. As a result, we're 
very limited when it comes to actually 
g our br We have an org 
de our heads that js able to deal 
with an enormous number of variables 
at the same пе, but we don't have 
conscious access to jt. The average per- 
without using a pencil, can deal 
with no more than three bles at 
once, while the practical situations of 
human life include 100,000 or more. 
CLARKE: I'm not so sure I can deal with 
more than one variable at a time, but 
its probably just as well. If we 
conscious of every single thing that’s 
happening out there. we'd be over- 
whelmed by the Universe. 

WATTS: But our brain isn't overwhelmed. 
CLARKE: No, because it’s operating a lot 
of a atic loops dealing with our 
breathing, our heartbeat, and so forth. 
Now, of course, we're discovering that 
we can control some of these things 
deliberately. 

WATTS: That's not what I was thinking; 
conscious control of the autonomic nerv- 
ous system is something else again. What 
lm suggesting is that we develop the 


nism 


were 


other kinds of intelligence that we have 
—the nonlincar intelligence, 

CLARKE: Wisdom of the body? Frankly, I 
don't quite know what that mea 
watts: We call it flying by the seat of 
your pants, doing it by eye and playing 
it by ear. That's what I meant by using 
the brain instead of the mind. There are 
those incredible skills which we learn 
to use in athletics and skindiving and 
things like that, which our linear, book- 
ish education doesn't recognize. At the 
time of all the scandal about Tim Leary 
and his investigations into consciousness 
changes, somebody at Harvard said no 
knowledge is intellectually respectable 
that cannot be put into words. And I 
thought, alas for the departments of fine. 
arts and music and athletics! 

CLARKE: It depends on your definitions; 
you might say that isn't knowledge. In 
fact, the more you try to make it knowl- 
edge, the less you can do it, like the 
famous poem about the centipede who, 
when asked how it walked, promptly fell 
distracted into the ditch. 
watts: The reason learn 
such a muddle that we 


g theory is in 
re uying to 
in terms 
of memorization of what has been con- 
sciously inspected. But if we really want 
to learn a foreign language, for exam- 
ple, we learn it like we learned our own 
language—by ear. Like throwing your- 
self into the water to learn how to swim, 
you throw vourself into a foreign coun- 
try and pick up the language by feeling 
its rhythms. How do you learn to dance? 
Some people have to have a diagram; 
others just get the feel of it. It’s like 
learning Oriental music You imitate 
the manual and breath movements of 
your teacher. Notation is used only for 
filing certain ragas or basic melodies, 
nd it's very limited, because the move- 
ments of the body are far more subtle 
than can ever be wriuen down in 
linear language. The music is organic 
as distinet from mechanical, which is 
its wemendous appeal for people like 
Richie Havens and George Harrison. 
Learning, you see, is actually a Gestalt; 
you have to be able to see all the 
relationships. Unfortunately, the whole 
icture can never be stated in a linear 


solve the problems of learn 


CLARKE: What do you propose we use 
instead? 

watts: "Ehe Chinese ideograph, where 
instead of a linear meaning unit, you've 
got a picture with spatial interrelations: 
in it that can be reduced to a linear 
formula. Children who are backward 
in their reading skills can be taught 
Chinese ideographs and form sentences 
with them in a very short time, 
CLARKE: I'm not so sure that the 
looking at ideographs or images is non- 
linear, Alan. In a more subtle way, the 
eye always scans. Recently, they've dis- 
covered that if you can hold an image 


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PLAYBOY 


264 future is going to be enter 


steady on the retina so that it’s literally 
fixed, it will eventually fade out; the eye 
cannot sce There’ microscanı 
system, а flicker, going on all the time. 
watts, There's a compatable auditory 
phenomenon. 

CLARKE: You mean this business of I 
ing a note after it’s actually stopped, 
where if you make a note 
fainter, you go on hearing it 
though it isn't there anymore? The В; 
tles used this phenomenon on one of 
their records. 

WATTS: We do the same thing retinally; 
that's why revolving a lighted cigarette 
in the dark gives the impression of a 
continuous circle. 

CLARKE: It's interesting, 
speculate that some 
might be totally unable to sec our telev 
sion pictures if their persistence of vi- 
sion were different m ours. Since the 
television picture is just a single spot at 
any instant in time, they might look at 
it and see only this spot of light moving 


ever 


back and forth and wonder what it 
meant. 
WATTS: Think of all the boring pro 


grams they would miss. But seriously, 
present methods of education 
h to a way of life people don't v 
to live anymore, because its dull. A boy 
looks at his father and says. “I sure 
don't want to be like you—yow're miser- 


able, you commute, you do all these 
dismal things just 10 have a plastic doll 
and a toy rocketship for a car and to 


live in smog." In the future, we're going 
to have to educate people to a different 
sort of life. 

CLARKE; The major educational problem 
of the future will be educating people 
for leisure. We live in a world that's 
heading for full unemployment, but un- 
fortunately the uneducated will be 
able to survive in a world with complete 
leisure: they won't know what to do 
with their lives. Work fills most of the 
life of the average man: going to work. 
working. going home from work. 

WATTS: And some people still have the 
notion that it's sinful not to work from 
nine to five. 

CLARKE: The old Anglo-Saxon guilt com- 
plex. You know. it’s Nigel Calder's thesis 
that work is a faily new idea, that it 
was invented some 5000 years ago. Primi- 
tive men dowi work, hunters don't 
y live short, nasty. brutish 
they don't work. It's only 
farmers who work, who invented work. 
and it has grown more and more domi 
nt in our lives ever since. One of the 
problems of the future, according to 
we are going to have to 
disinvent work. ‘The hippies aud the flow- 
er children, incidentally. were doing just 
that. But it woukl be dangerous for 
most people to just lie around; look at 
all those who die immediately after they 
retire, So the greatest industry of the 
Ainment— 


un- 


that and education; I don't make a dis- 
tinction between the two. 
WATIS: All good. educators 
crs. But you have to have intellectual 
discipline of some kind for every plcas- 
ven if all we wanted to do was get 
ng drunk, we'd still have to h 
the distiller's art. 

CLARKE: There will always be some people 
who will have to work, who will want to 
work—and who will bitterly resent those 
who don't and who will keep asking them- 
selves why that lazy bum should be sup- 
ported by me and do nothing. 

WATTS: But he's not supported by you; 
he’s supported by machine: 
CLARKE: Somebody d to spend long, 
laborious hours designing and buil 
that machine, Alan. 

WATTS: Yes, and that machine should 
pay the person who designed it i 
fairly substantial way- 
purpose if it doesn’t also pay other 
people. 

CLARKE: ГЇЇ admit that it should pay its 
designer, but why should it pay anybody 
che? 

warts: Because the whole purpose of a 
ne is to do ever so much more 


mach 


than one m n do. It should at least 
pay its designer for his labor, but he has 
designed an ineflective machine if. 


pays only him. If it pays other people 
well. then he has designed a truly effec- 
tive machine: he has made a real contri 
bution to society. But people still have 
ideas of a scarcity economics, of an age 
in which there simply wasn’t enough to 
go around. But the designer's machine 
has changed all that, and now there's 
enough 10 go around. Or don't you 
think so? 

CLARKE: In principle, there's enough to 
go around. As far as materials and ener- 
gy are cd, there arc unlimited 
resource: © messing them up now 
—we hi pollution problem and 
power shortages—but those are tempo- 
rary problems. Certainly. as long as the 


Sun shines, theres no question of a 
power shortage. What there is a danger 
of is an intelligence shortage. Where 


will we get the high-grade technicians to 
build and service and run the machiner 
in the world of the future? Look what's 
happening to the old-fashioned tele- 
phone system in New York right now; 
we can't even keep that running. 
watts: Why not? 
CLARKE: One of the reasons is lack of 
skilled Libor—that and lack of labor 
that will let itself be skilled, 
WATTS: Why can't we eliminate that prob- 
lem with machinery that can do that sort 
of labor? The automatic telephone elimi- 
nated thousands of operators 
CLARKE: We can't do it until we can 
build robots that are essentially as versa- 
E 
now, and this is at least a century away. 
For the near future, we've got to worl 
with highly trained human beings. 


When it comes to simpler forms of la- 
bor, there's a different answer 
not robo, rough bio-engincering, it 
ght be possible to develop superapes, 
aperchimps, that can do the simple 
jobs. It’s criminal to downgrade humans 
for manual, repetitive forms of labor— 
granted there are those qualified to do 
only this type of work and who should 
do it and be well paid for it. But I hope 
that cventually we can improve the in- 
telligence standards of the race so that 
people won't have to do this sort of 
menial labor. Animals like the chimpan- 
zee or others of the great apes would be 
ideal for it. It’s a considerable scandal, 
you know, that we have domesticated no 
new animals since the Stone Age. The 
D ad baboons waiting on table 


apons of w: 
hundred words of command. And if 
we cin do this with existing animals, 
what could we do with specifically de- 
veloped "new" animals. plus B. F. Skin- 
пеге techniques of conditioning? Ic would 
solve all our low-grade labor problems 


in a generation. 
WATTS: Some people would consider that 
exploiting the anim 


shouldn't be an 
pes. After 
wor s and dogs for 
long time now. If you use their natu 
lents, or talents that we may train them 
to have, we should have no qualms. Most 
of our breeds of dogs are almost entirely 
artificial constructs by now d I think 
they're happy: I'm damned sure my С 
man shepherds are. And 1 don't sce why 
we couldn't do the same thing with the 
chimpanzees or other great apes, perhaps 
even with dolphins or whale 
watts: I still think there's a lot we Gu 
do with machinery, though our ma 
chines frequently have a way of causi 
more problems than they solve. Wi 
seem to be constantly having to make 
choice between technology and its v 
fortunate by-products or no technology 
at all. It's like the old saw 
—you can't live with them 
€ live hout them. In the 
our machines, it's an impossible choice 
CLARKE: The trouble with xh of our 
technology is that it’s too primitive; it 
isn’t good technology. In fact, it's damned 
bad technology. 

warts: How do you tell the differ 
CLARKE: This is the first age that h 
glimpsed good technology, real technol- 
s sitting right here in front 
of us: this pe recorder 
that we've been talking into. Real tech. 
nology refers to machines that will last 
forever or until you want to throw them 
away, which will have no moving parts 
nd which will be sophisticated but very 
reliable. This recorder isn't perfect; it 
still has a tape going round and round: 
but compare it with the old Edi 
son phonograph! In some arcas, we're 


CLARKE: There 
blem to tra 


ogy—and i 


geuing this kind of technology, but in 
others we're incredibly primi 
modern automobile, for example. They've 
produced some very reliable and useful 
cars, but they've still very primitive and 
crude compared with what they should 
be. could be and one d. 
warts. In ancient India, when men 
walked barefoot on the ground, a cer- 
tain king, out of compassion for human 
fect, proposed that hundreds of cattle be 
slain and their skins used to carpet the 
ground. And then one of his advisors 
aid, "O King, live forever, but this is 
not necessary. All we have to do is slay a 
few cattle and bind small pieces of their 
leather to the soles of our feet.” This 
was the beginning of technology, real 
technology—doing more with less, as 
Bucky Fuller puts it. 

CLARKE: That is the answer; you have to 
have some technology. There are places 
where you cannot walk over the ground 
barefoot, where you have to shoes, 
where you have to slaughter some cows 
or make shocs out of plastic or what 
ever, There's an absolute mi 
technology that we nced—and that mini- 
mum gets to be more und more every 
decade. There’ rational argument 
against technology as such—it's a matter 
of definitions. F g is a technology 
at which we've worked for a long time 
and which is very successful, Consider 
the rice fields and the irrigation systems 
of Bali and Ceylon: from the technologi- 
cal point of view, it would be difficult to 
improve on them. They're a completely 
stable, highly developed technology that 
could Jast until the Sun went out. Why 
can’t we do this on more complex le 
els? I believe we can. You can have any 
kind of technology you want; you've just 
got to think out the problems in much 
more detail than we have in the past. 
WATTS: Among young people today, there's 
а extremely sentimental, back-to nature 
movement that would like to abandon 
technology, bur Pm afraid if we did, 
millions of people would star 
CLARKE: There was never any question of 
bandaning technology. not since we 
picked up that first rock. It’s true that 
we've got to get rid of bad technology, 
but we can't do with less technology, we 
need a hell of a lot more technology, 
and far more sophisticated technology. 
WATTS: Arthur, what makes us ро into 
raprures about a miniaturized tape re- 
corder and damn the automobile? 
CLARKE: It's very simple. Good technol- 
ogy enriches and enhances your life and 
bad technology diminishes it. When the 
automobile first came in, it enhanced 
nd enriched life; it doesn't—very much 
—anymore. Tape recorders and cameras, 
on the other hand, definitely make life 
more rewarding. The recorder has eflec- 
tively doubled my life, and cameras have 
added enormously to my pleasure; I can 
make a record of the events in my past 


«—the 


y will be, 


imum of 


no 


“Dear, remember I told you about the gu) 
ed to go out with? The one who had the bad breath? 
Well, he switched to this new tooth paste. . . . 


that would be possible in no other way. 
Now the videotape recorder is coming 
in and that is even more marvelous. It 


will do precisely what Bobby Burns said 


in his poem—"Oh wad some power the 
giltie gie us / To see oursels as others see 
Pardon my Scots accent. It will also, 
I suspect, enrich one's lovemaking a 
great deal 

watts: I appreciate the aesthelics of 
good technology—a beautiful camera 


us! 


somi 


ne telescope, a microscope. Ir 
ng to do with our love of what space 
itiful transparency. Consciou 
ness, dependi lens, 
and when you ask just what is clarity, 
у. you get the 


th 
is, its bı 


g on the sense, is 


which is a 


Iso. transparer 
answer: pure form, as im a sharply fo- 


cused photograph. 
CLARKE: You mention 
reminds me that one of the most life-en- 
riching technolo; ake for granted, 
though its impact was overwhelming 
and may have been responsible for the 
Renaissance, was the invention of spe 
tales, Eyeglasses must have multiplied 
by several times the useful lives of the 
monks and other educated people of the 
period who had blown their eyesight at 
an сапу age trying to read manusa 
by candlelight. Most histor 


the lens, which 


ics we 


guy I 


tally unaware of this sort of thing: they 
describe d the falls, the dy- 
nastics and the wars and the emperors, 
but they don't discuss the really important 
things like the invention of spectacles, 
the the stirrup- 
made it possible to shoot an arrow fom 
g horse—or the invention of 
the horse collar, which multiplied the 
efficiency of horses by a [actor of two or 
three. Some technologies, incidentally, are 
surprisingly ancient; the invention of a 
device that could go faster than the speed 
of sound actually dates back to prehistoric 


the rises a 


invention of which 


шо} 


times. 
warts: What was that? 
CLARKE: The bullwhip—the crack it makes 
is actually the tip of the whip crea 


watts: Buckminster Fuller clai 
real culune derives from the primitive 
seafarers, that they were the first people 
10 understand navigation, the first people 
to realize the world is round. 

CLARKE | think Bucky may have been 
conditioned by the fact that he was in 
the Navy. What influence did seafaring 
have on the oldest culture and civiliza- 
tion, the Chinese? 
WATTS: Not much. 
and he has 


But Fuller daims, 
a good case, that there are 


265 


PLAYBOY 


266 


much older cultures than the Chinese 
that were seafaring. 
CLARKE: Perhaps he's right. The Adan- 
teans and other nuts have been saying 
for years that there have been much 
older cultures. 

watts: I've always assumed there have 
been, especially in the equatorial re- 
gions. where wood and other imperma- 
nent building material would rot and 
crumble so the culture would disappear 
without a trace. There must have been 
many more cultures than those we know 
about, when you consider that man has 
existed for 1,000,000 years. 

CLARKE: Much less than that; Homo 
sapiens has been around for perhaps only 
150,000 years. It depends on your defini- 
tion of man, of course; you could take 
some of the early types of man and pre 
п nd many of them wouldn't look out 
of place in modern society. We've had our 
modern brain for at least 20,000 years, 
which means there were men back in 
the Stone Age who could have flown 
spaceships. 

watts: I've always felt that our archacol- 
ogias have picked at only a few tiny 
spots on the Earth's surface and 
there are millions of square miles of 
su 
CLARKE: Perhaps some devastating ones, 
like the discovery of the Antikythera 
computer. In 1900, some sponge divers 
found a wreck that contained some of 
the greatest treasures of Greck art, all of 
which were then stored in a museum in 
Athens. They included various st 
plus. among orher things, a rust 
of bronze. The bronze had been sit 
there in the museum for about 50 years 
when Derek Price figured out what it 
actually was: а very complex analog 
computer to calculate the positions of 
the stars, a thing considerably more so- 
phisticated than a grandfather clock, 
with graduated dials and gear whe 
watts: That kind of thing docs not 
emerge except in a cultu complex 
that can support it. 

CLARKE: Precisely. It's dated somewhere 
around 100 вс, and we didn't know 
anybody could build things of such com- 
plexity until Ben Franklin's time. It was 
discovered only by accident, incidental- 
ly: it had gone down in a wreck and 
therefore was safe at the bouom of the 
Mediterranean. Otherwise, it would 
have been destroyed, because bronze was 
valuable; it would have been melted 
down into something else. 

WATTS: It’s fun to speculate whether we 
couldn't recapture the sights and sounds 
of the past if we had а sulficiently pow- 
erful detector of some kind. 

CLARKE: Thats impossible—at least in 
the standard sense—because any sound 
very quickly becomes thermal noise and 
agitation and is gone. But at least one 
scientist thinks he's found a process 


prises in store, 


that might have captured sounds in the 
past—and that’s the manufacture of pot- 
tery on the potter's wheel, He's been 
analyzing old clay pots and trying to re- 
capture the sounds that were occurring as 
the potter was making them, and in one 
or two places he thinks he's succeeded. 
You see, in making a pot, you have the 
y on a revolving table and a pointer 
touching the clay, and this is actually a 
primitive, inefficient phonograph. If you 
spin the pot and have a stylus that can 
it, you might be able to recap- 
ture the sounds in the potter's shop the 
day the pot was made, 

WATTS: We'll undoubtedly be able to do 
it someday, Arthur. IE the progress of 
science can be represented by an expo- 
1 curve, then anything will eventu- 
ally be possible. 
CLARKE: It isn't quite like that, Alan. 
The curves that between them govern 
man's life are the bell curve—the nor- 
mal distribution curve—and the S-shaped 
growth curve, one that starts very slowly, 
then suddenly goe 1 exponen 
rise, then flattens out and becomes 
constant value again. Of course, you can 
have a later S curve superimposed on 
this. "The best example of this is in tr 
portation. You're stuck on ome plateau 
for a long time, and then there's a bre; 
through with the internal combustion 
engine, which takes you up to the next 
plateau. Then there's another break 
through with the airplane, another with 
the jet and, finally, another the 
rocket. You can never be sure that the 
ngout period is really the final 
s far as speed in the Universe 
concerned, perhaps there's a final Пацеп- 
ing out with the velocity of light; as far 
terrestrial speed goes, we've nearly 
reached the top. 

WATIS: It also leaves us with this prob- 
lem: When the time lag is reduced be- 
tween any two places, the two places tend 
to become the same place in space. So 
Tokyo has become a mixture of Los 
Angeles and Shanghai, and Los Angeles 
has also become Tokyoized to some c 
tent, and so has San Francisco. We're 
getting this weird kind of jetaircraft 
culture in which every place has become 
pretty much the same, so there’s less and 
less point to going anywhere. 

CLARKE: The motto of the future may 
be: Don't commute, communicate. If we 
had absolutely perfect communication 
so that we could be sort of physically 
present via some sort of hologram tech- 
nique, there would be no point to hav- 
ing transportation at all, except for 
goods and services. Or if we had abso- 
lutely perfect transportation, where we 
could step through a door and arrive 
instantly in the other place, there would 
be no need for communication. I think 
we've gone overboard on transportation 


into 


ns- 


wiu 


up to now. and there’s going to be a 
swing toward communications. For ex- 
ample, the TV tape recorders we've 
mentioned may be not only the end of 
Hollywood but the start of a real world 
community. Shirley Clarke, the movie 
producer who lives here in ihe Chelsea 
is planning on plugging her tape equip- 
ment into our hotel cable system so we'll 
have our own little urban commune. 
Everybody has his own TV set. so we 
can watch what Shirleys monitor is 
doing, and then perhaps somebody else 
will get his own equipment and pump 
his pictures into the system, so well just 
switch from channel to channel and see 
what Dave is doing in room 222 or what 
went on in room 1010 last night. Even- 
tually, of course, we'll have a global TV 
community. so it won't matter where we 
re on Earth, we'll always be able to get 
in touch with people with common in- 
terest. In Ceylon, TIL just switch on my 
set and see what Shirley's doing here, 
and vice versa. One of the objections to 
this sort of thing, of course, is that 
still remore and imperson 
ably, we could wind up w 

cal society where people avoided all 
physical contact and commur 
through electronics. 

watts: You know, Arthur, we reproduce 
in two ways. by sex and by art, Histori 
cally, the painter and the sculptor have 
striven to make mor curate 
representations of reality, a task that was 
eventually taken over by photography, 


h а pathologi- 


graphic images in open space, 
have attained new heights of reali 
But. of course, we'll then demand tangi: 
ble images for increased fidelity of re- 
production, then images that respond to 
the viewer and the toucher in the same 
way as the original human who is be- 
S reproduced. Then there's Huxley's 
feclics," which would not only reproduce 
but enable us to experience the actual 
sensations and emotions of the original 
televised person—a reproduction so per- 
fect that we would Т the sensation of 
being that person. Carrying all th 
its logical extreme, we should asi 
"Couldn't this have happened already? 
Isn't it possible that what T call life i 
watching just such a performanc 
other question could be, “Why go to all 
that trouble when you have the original 
in the first place?” There is also over- 
population in terms of this kind of repro- 
duction or recording. It takes me as long 
to listen to one of my tapes as it does to 
record it. Beyond a certain point, seeing 
plays and movies tikes up too big a 
chunk of my actual life. A camera 
get in the way of the tourists own eyes; 
reading about oneself in the newspaper 
can seem more important than the 
tual event. If our eventual progeny tuin 


“Buffy, lets face it, we're Christmas junkies!” 


267 


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270 


out to be mecha 


ical systems, reproduc- 


tion by art will have superseded repro 
duction by sex, Which is a rather curious 
asceticism! 

CLARKE: There was a clever cartoon some 


years back that sums it up rather well. 
It shows a man surrounded by all his 
gadgets and saying, “Its a full life! 
Obviously, he’s living an entirely second- 
hand life, because he’s living only through 


his gadgets; that could be the danger. 
In this case, our electronic tape recorders 


would definitely not be considered life 
enriching, 
watts: That's cquivalent to being hooked 
on drugs instead of using drugs as in- 
struments of investigation. 

CLARKE: Speaking of drugs and electronic 
devices, is it true that you can, by purely 
electronic means, reproduce or 
in a few hours’ training the mental 
states that a Zen master or a yogi may 
take years and years of training to achiev 
ily, medi 


ing, hout expectation and without 
words. In contrast, most people report 
that their feelings of cosmic conscious- 
ness with an alpha-wave machine are 
achieved when theyre on the brink of 
sleep. So I look upon the alpha: 
machine as a bit gimmicky, though 
may be enormously interesting to ex- 
plore with it the electrical capaciti 
the brain. 

CLARKE: This may be a perso 
Alan, but drugs—T'm talking about 
hallucinogenic ones—are on the 
public mind nowadays and there are 
always two views, ul "re strictly for 
kicks or that somehow they give a per- 
son insight assume your 
view's the but I wonder how they 
might work in that sense. 

WATIS: I consider them as scient 


al ques- 


struments used inside the skin, as dis- 
tinct from those like microscopes and 
telephones, which are used outside the 
skin. Optical and electronic instruments 
offer to change our level of magnifica- 
tion, and to me that is one of the most 
interesting things about knowledge, to 
change your level of magnification so 
that you can see things on different 
levels and in different contexts. In the 
me way, drugs make certain alterations 
in the sensitivity of our nerves whereby 
we can change our vision. Now, that 
won't do anything by itself; any fool cin 
look through a microscope and have a 
ball. But if a biologist or a chemist looks 
through a microscope, it's going to tell 
him something important. Some pcople 
can have weird trips on LSD, but to a 
student of the psychology of religion or 
the psychology of aesthetics, it can be 
extremely interesting and informative. 
CLARKE: Just how was it informative for 
you? 

watts: LSD has made me more tolerant. 
1 can even understand in what way a 
Southern Baptist can be a manifesta- 
tion of the divine principle, which 1 
couldn't see before. Once when I took 
LSD on a Sunday evening, a group of us 
were listening to a religious service on 
the radio, A Negro revival minister 
made sense because he was pure, exuber- 
nt emotion, but the problem we faced 
was with a fundamentalist Bible preach- 
er who was a real phony. He had an 
nber so as to sound as if he 
were g in a cathedral. and after 
his terrible moralistic preachments from 
the Bible, he always had а commerci 
“If you want a copy of this address, send 
in a dollar to this station. Be sure to 
send in your dollar." But as we listened. 
to his voice, we could hear this anxious 
le person saying: "I'm human, too, 


“Not in front of the parents, Ralph.” 


I have to live. Send in your dollar.” 
Then we listened further into the sound 
and we could hear a frightened child 
crying for its mother. We listened. fur- 
ther and heard the. primordial blow of 
wind through a tube. We listened still 
further and then we heard the voice of 
God, the and the omega. The 
basic vibration of the Universe was in 
this poor little preacher. And then we 
forgave him, saying, “What hath God 
wrought! What an extraordinary mani- 
festation that it comes out in this weird 
little character." In this way, LSD has 
made me much more open to variations 
in human behavior and life style. 

CLARKE: Ive always been skeptical of 
mysticism and revelations because I 
think they may turn out to be just 
psychological aberrations. It can be a 
very nice feeling, this feeling of созт 
consciousness, and I think Ive had it 
once or twice, but I don't take it serious- 
ly. because you can be mistaken so of- 
ten. I've had no previous experience 
with drugs, but under controlled condi- 
tions, with somebody who knew what he 
was doing, I would be quite interested 
in trying some experiments, But I think 
1 have a sufficiently adequate imagi 
tion and Im little scared of wh 
might happen if it were to be enhanced 
or accelerated, 

WATS: Much of what people have read 
about drugs is misinformation, Arthur. 
l had a great worry about this when 
Aldous Huxley wrote about mescaline and 
let the cat out of the bag as to what 
these drugs could do. I felt that he 
hadn't said enough, but at the same 
time 1 was reluctant to say more, in view 


of the fact that it might stir up a wide 
public interest and could have terrible 
repercussions. 

CLARKE: As it did. 


watts; I knew preity well that this was 
going to happen, so finally 1 felt it better 
to say something that I thought intelligent 
and important about it than to stay 
silent. I was trying to say that instead ol 
sweeping these drugs under the carpet 
with legal prohibitions and horrors, we 
should bring them out into the open 
and let our best scientific and philosoph- 
ic minds go to town on them. If we have 
to regulate the use of hallucinogenic 
drugs, then what we should do is license 
them the same we do alcohol and 
have legally sanctioned centers whe 
people could use them under careful 
supervision. 

CLARKE: That's a little like the English 
system, which somebody in Washington 
recently claimed was a failure. That's 
utter nonsense; compared with the 
American system, the English system is а 


howling success. 

WATTS: The American attitude toward 
drugs is a colossal racket, Our drug- 
abuse laws are so absurd and so rai: 


ble 
them 


that 
be 


vice 
must 


the price of an inevit 
any official supporting, 


suspected of profiting from the trade. The 
separation of church and state should 
require that police not be asked to 
act as armed clergymen preventing and 
prosecuting crimes without victims, such 
as sexual irregularity, gambling and drug 
buse. The prosecution of young people 
for use of hallucinogenic drugs has 
alienated almost an entire generatio 
CLARKE: Some of the hypocrisies of our 
society are so appalling that it's no won- 
der the young are disillusioned and re- 
belling against them. 

warts: It all comes back to personal 
freedom, doesn't it? There is more and 
more of a thirst for personal freedom at 
the same time that we seem to be pass- 
yg more and more laws that restrict it. 
Yet it's obvious to any lawyer that the 
more law proliferates, the less intelligi 
ble it becomes. So I'm for a considerable 
reduction in the number of laws and a 
selfrepealing clause in every one we do 
pass: if you need it again, pass it again. 
The difficulty is that when you handle 
dangerous instruments, such as automo- 
les or firearms, you have to curtail 
your freedom and obey certain game 
rules. There are an enormous number of 
rules we obey and have no objection to 
obeying because we see the sense of 
them; we couldn't be free unless we d 
obey them. Nobody wants to live in the 
17th. Gentury again, when we were all 
armed to the teeth. But freedom is a 
gamble, There cannot be a community 
ithout mutual trust, and yet not every 
body is trustworthy. But the only alter- 
ng the risk of mutual trust 
is the super police state. So, naturally, 
we're going to get burgled and we're 
going to have a certain number of acci- 
dents: but if you don't take that gamble, 
then life isn't worth living. 
CLARKE: Who was it who 
can come to a good man? 
watts: Nobody's a good man, Arthur. 
According to Hebrew theology, everyone 
has within him the yetzer hara, the 
wayward spirit, created by God and 
planted. the soul of Adam. I call 
the element of irreducible rascality and 
every one of us has that within him as 
salt in a stew; it's an essential ingredi. 
n nature and I cannot relate to 
being who docsn't have it. 
CLARKE: Cutting down on the number 
of laws you have would help make for a 
government that's more immediately re- 
sponsive to the pcople. There is a social 
invention that might well come into usc 
within the next few decades that would 
help out on that, too: electronic voting. 
for example, could be 
brought up, discussed and voted in a 
few minutes of attention to your TV set. 
The question is: Would we really need 
political parties with such 2 system? 
WATTS: Parties are as absurd as nations. 
They're the wrong emphasis. A party is 
always tied to an ideology, and one tends 


l no h 


m 


to vote with the party rather than about 
issues. 

CLARKE: The chances are very good that, 
with the establishment of a global socie- 
ty, both the party and the state wil 
wither away. 

wans: How do we establish that global 
society? 

CLARKE: In the next quarter century, 
you'll see the development of more and 
more international organizations that do 
such vital jobs that everybody will have 
to cooperate with them. In the past, 
we've had the International Postal Un- 
the International Telegraph 
Union and today, of course, we have 
Intelsat, an organization of some 70 
countries cooperating in the global com- 
munications system. We also have the 
organizations of the airlines, the World 
Health Organization and the World Me- 
teorological Organization. These inde- 
pendent bodies and others like them 
will become so essential and suprana- 


ion and 


tional in the next few decades that they 
will be running the world. The nation- 


state will find itself a. postal division, a 
cultural subsection in these organiza- 
tions. This is how we'll merge into a 
world society. 

WATTS: I hope your world of 2001 will be 
a far different and better world than the 
one we're living in now. But between 
now and then, it looks as if it might be a 
rough go. Do you think we'll make it? 
CLARKE: If 1 thought we wouldn't, I 
probably wouldn't say so; I would just 
go and quietly shoot myself. But think 
back to 1915, when the atomic bomb 
first burst upon us with all its now feeble 


C.LAUFER 
PRODUCER 


20 kilotons, We've survived for 25 years 
since then and no more atomic bombs 
have been dropped in anger; the bal- 
ance of terror has been a balance. It 
can't be a permanent nor a stable one, 
but even now there are indications of a 
loosening up of our political tensions. I 
think that our space program has con- 
tributed to this by giving man a new 
perspective on the planet; the Apollo 
program may have come just in time to 
save the human race. The concept of 
Spaceship Earth. may be diché now, but 
it was no coincidence that from the 
moment we first saw that photograph of 
the Earth hanging in space, we became 
aware of our human unity and of the 
problems threatening the survival of our 
planet. 

watts: You said at the start of our 
dialog that the space program had given 
us the moral equivalent of war and, if 
so, it was well worth But to the 
average man, it cost 24 billion dollars to 
bring back a load of Moon rocks, which 
makes them rather expensi 
Couldn't we have found out as much by 
just sending equipment there, or per- 
haps not have been in such a hurry, so 
that the cost of getting there might have 
been less? I know this is hindsight, but 
is there any clement of truth to it? 
CLARKE: Well, we might have waited 
until we had developed the re-usable 
space shuttle and then done it cheaper 
and more efficiently. But it’s done now 
and there's no point in arguing how we 
should have de In another genera- 
tion it will seem incredible that intelli- 
gent men ever questioned the value of 


“The last time he offered me a large part, it was of him!” 


271 


PLAYBOY 


272 Warts: The photographs they've tak 


the space program. Anybody who can't 
see the value of it is a fool. The pro- 
gram has already paid for itself in terms 
of lives saved alone, the most dramat 
example being the use of satellites to 
track hurricanes, particularly Hurricane 
Camille off the Gulf Coast in 1969. On 
the basis of what such storms did 30 or 
10 years ago, the death toll on a single 
br might have topped 45,000, our 
entire death list in the Vietnam war 
to date. Communication satellites have 
already revolutionized global commun 
cations: Filty percent of your phone calls 
to Europe go via satellite, and in years 
10 come, ships and aircraft over the 
Atlantic and Pacific will be able to keep 
in contact with their home bases 
through satellites, especially during peri- 
ods of ionospheric disturbance, when 
they would normally be out of touch. 
The revolution education is just be- 
ginning. Continental television, which 
will be possible in India from a single 
satellite transmitter in orbit overhead, w 
provide veterinary and family planning 
information, as well as other educational 
news and entertainment, for a cost of 
about a dollar per person per усаг, 
which is trivial compared with the social 
benefits involved. India may bypass the 
radio age like Australia bypassed the 
railroad agc—to accomplish what this 
one satellite television transmitter will 
do would require hundreds of ground 
station: 

Earthresources satellites are also, for 
the first time, starting to tell us what is 
where—minerals, fresh water, things like 
that. Color photographs from space will 
tell us where there is pollution; a Gemi- 
ni photograph, for cxample, proved that 
illegal dredging was wiping out the oys- 
ter beds in Galveston Bay by showing 
where all the silt was flowing out to sea 
and killing the oysters. They'll be able 
to monitor global air pollution from 
well as show oil dumping at sea 
ned satellites will be running 
our world and discovering the potential 
of this planet; and as they become more 
complex, we'll be sending men up to 
service them. And, of course, there'll 
be space factories and space hotels and 
space hospitals. On the Earth-bound medi- 
cal end, space scientists have developed 
sensors lor monitoring people who are 
L These are particularly important in 
heart cases. Already a few ambulances 
have been fitted out with radio sensors 
and by the time a patient arrives at the 
hospital, the sensors have already d 
nosed what should be done. This is 
entirely a spinoff from space technology. 
It’s true it could have been done other- 
wise, but it wasn't; it was space technol- 
ogy that provided the cutting edge. But 
leaving all the technology aside, the 
most valuable thing we may have gained. 
from space flight is a new perspective on 
the Earth, 


of the Earth from outer 5 
with the feeling that it is the most 
beautiful of all jewels. 

CLARKE: The Farth is certainly unique in 
the Solar System, and that means it’s 
going to be unique in our knowledge 
and experience for some centuries to 
come. 

WATTS: Then you don't envisage any 
intimate knowledge of anything outside 
the Solar System for quite a long time? 
CLARKE: Not unless there's a tremendous 
instrumental breakthrough, and I can't 
conceive of one that will enable us to 
get closeup views of any planets and of 
the stars without sending 
probes there, which will take centui 
WATIS: Do you think there's intelligent. 
life out there? 

CLARKE: I hope that I may sce the discov- 
ery of such extraterrestrial life and per- 
haps even intelligence in my lifetime, 
but I wouldn't put too high a probabili- 
y on it. I don't think there's any other 
intelligence inside the Solar System, 
though it would be exciting if that were 
the case, It's perhaps more possible and 
would be almost as exciting if we discov- 
ered that there had been intelligence 
inside the Solar System—for example, if 
we discovered antiquities on Mars. 

watts: I think the chances that 
1 intelligence exists are overwhelm- 
ing; it may be a long way away, but it's 
obviously there. A thing that can happen 
here can certainly happen elsewhere in a 
Universe this big. 

CLARKE: Speaking of intelligence, I've 
often wondered if it isn't an accidental 
by-product of evolution, sort of like the 
armor of the dinosaurs, that ultimately 
dooms its possessors to extinction. You 
could make a very good case for this, of 
course, by reading any newspaper. So 
perhaps we and our intelligence are an 
accident, like the dinosaurs and thei 
magnificent display of bone plates. Re- 
member that the most successful animals 
on this planet are the great white sharks 
and insects like the cockroaches, which 
haven't a brain in their heads, so to 
speak, and which, unlike Detroit, haven't 
changed their designs for millions of 
years. Intelligence may doom a species; 
as soon as you develop it, you've had it. 
This is pure speculation, of course, but 
irs one of the reasons it's so important 
to discover extraterrestrial intelligence. 
If we pick up intelligent signals from 
space or discover artifacts on the Moon 
or planets or anywhere else—say we 
found evidence of early visits by creatures 
from another star system—this would be 
the first evidence we've had that intel- 
ligence has some survival value. 

WATTS: However intelligent they are, in 
our terms, someday we're damn well 
going to meet creatures from other 
worlds, and then there'll be the problem 
of communicating with them—along with 
a lot of other problems, I suspect. Gerald 
rd once suggested we might learn 


ce leave you 


strumented 


how to communicate with beings from 
outer space by studying the dance 
guage of bees. 1 thought of this when 
Cousteau first tamed an octopus and 
there were pictures of him in the paper 
dancing with it. I had a radio show at 
the time and I said that I thought a 
gold medal should be cast of a man 
dancing with an octopus to replace the 
one of Saint George and the dragon. 
Here was a n who had made friends 
with one of the awful-awfuls of life, the 
symbol of the devouring mother. Weeks 
later, when I was giving a lecture in Los 
Angeles, Cousteau was in the audience 
and I met п. I told him what 1 had 
said and he replied, “It was very simple 
1 you have to do is stimulate the 
sexual organ of the octopus!” 

CLARKE: lt will be fascinating to study 
the psychology and philosophy of totally 
alien beings. Will there be anything at 
all in common? You mention the octo- 
pus; my own confrontation was with 
what once seemed to me to be the most 
hideous of all things, the giant manta. 
It’s a totally str lien being 
but, nevertheless, a beautiful creature. 
WATIS: I really wonder how much space 
exploration we'll lly be doing. 
though. There was a great psychological 
letdown after Armstrong stepped onto 
the Moon, and then the budget cutting 
that's followed it since. 

CLARKE: In another ten years, that let- 
down will be part of the past and we'll 
go out to the planets and the stars and 
no one will even remember this little 
malaise of the Seventies. Man's future 
lies in space; we belong there—as well 
as in the sca—becaus only in those 
two places that we can be weightless and 
experience that same sense of freedom 
that we were born with hundreds of 
millions of ye go. I'm a skindiver 
and I always have a feeling of content- 
ment, of belonging, when Pm back un- 
der water. 

watts: When Dr. D. T. Suzuki, the 
great Zen scholar, was asked the ques- 
tion “W is it like to have attained 
satori?" —that is to say, enlightened 
awakening according to Zen—he said it 
felt like ordinary. everyday experience 
except about two inches off the ground. 
CLARKE: Leaving the sea 500,000,000 
years ago may have bee mista 
Perhaps the dolphins had the right ide: 
They tried it for a wi nd then 
to hell with it, we're going back: th 
accounts for the vestigial rear legs of 
dolphins and whales. 

watts: There's another place where you 
get a rather odd feeling of content- 
ment, Arthur, and that's out in the coun- 
ny on a cloudless night, far away from 
the lights of the city, so that you can 
sce the stars. It’s a spectacular view and 
undoubtedly good for the soul, but 
every now and then it occurs to me that 
we're midway out in one of the limbs of 
the galaxy, in the Milky Ways back 


Mad 


nde 


yard. and I keep w ng what the 
view of the night sky might be like from 
the center of the galaxy. 

The sky would be much more 
ага perfect blaze of stars—but 
T think we'd be in deep trouble, because 
all hell is breaking loose in the center of 
the galaxy; it’s probably blowing up. 
watts: We wouldn't be there for the 
simple reason that we couldn't live there. 
CLARKE: | wouldn't rule out the possi- 
bility of other things living there, though, 
In fact, the exploding stars, the neutron 
stars, are probably where all the action 
really is, because these storms of radia 
tion and energy might be where very 
high-grade organisms or intelligences 
thrive because there's pure energy to 
live on. We say that organic life is 
possible only on the cold planets, where 
carbon-based reactions can take place. 
Well, we may be a very low type of 


organism. a s al accident. The real- 
ly spiritual beings might be in the cen- 
ters of cosmic activity, right in the 


hearts of exploding stars and novae. 

watts: In looking at we might 
be looking at an intelligent organism 
Douglas Harding had а wonderful а 
cle on this in the old Saturday Evening 
Post in the series titled “Adventures of the 
Mind.” He explained the Universe as a 
living orga and in a very closely 
reasoned argument, showed that the fact 


that there are people on the Earth is 
symptomatic of the nature of the Earth. 
You wouldn't call a human being a 


cell-infested skeleton any more thin you 
would call a planet a people-infested 
planet, as if the biosphere were a bunch 
of germs that came from elsewhere. 
CLARKE: Eddington once suggested th 
y be a disease that attacks matter 
when its in its old age, when it's too 
cold to sterilize itsclf. 
watts: But “attacks” implies it comes 
from somewh 1 would rather say 
t life is something that happens to 


watts: The aging of wine, the molding 
of chee 


Mél 


“Frankly, Edith. it looks stupid as hell!” 


CLARKE: "There's a rather chilling thought 
here, Alan. The late John Campbell, the 
editor of Analog, suggested that we're 
Jooking at pollution in the wrong w 
We're here as the result of glol 
n of this planet approximately 
s ago by early or 
that, as a result of their life processes, 
released enormous. quantities of a deadly 
poisonous gas called oxygen. In so doi 
they killed themselves off, but they n 
it possible for animals to exist on Earth. 
All the oxygen in our atmosphere is a 
result of this biological pollution. Now, 
perhaps, we're starting another pl 
ve polluted our atmosphere so that 
something can supersede us—and that 
may well be our machines, the only or- 
ganisms that could exist in the sort of 
atmosphere that we're creating. 

WATTS: That concepts not very comforting. 
CLARKE: The Universe wasn't designed for 
our comfort. 

watts: 1 think there may be a semantic 
problem with the word machine; it’s load- 


ed in the same sense as the word nigger. 
CLARKE: ОГ course. We use the phrase 
¡ere machines.” But they're not mere 


machines; no machine is “mere.” N 
machines are marvelous, very far from 
being mere—and they'll be even less 
mere in the future. 
wants: It’s conceivable that as the next 
step in evolution, we could replace our- 
selves with solid-state electronic intelli- 
which 1 think 
g at. They would probably keep 
us for a while in zoos and then finally 
decide that we were too sentimenta 
had too many irrelevant emotions that 
were pure static and an obstruction to 
the fulfillment of interesting purposes of 
their own. These machines would need 
no atmosphere, so the fact that we had 
polluted the whole planet and made й 
unbearable for us would mean nothing 
to them. These insectlike electronic 
beings would go on doing their permu- 
ions and combinations, being fully 
certified persons by virtue of having 
passed the Turing test, that fascinating 
test whereby you receive communica- 


tions from a person and a machine, and 
if you can't distinguish which is which, 
then the machine counts as a person. I 
can conceive that this is exactly what 
might happen. But something within me 
rebels against all of that, because I fecl 
that mech telligence has fewer 
variables in it than biological intelli- 
gence. A biological intelligence contains 
a principle of randomness, so that it is 
n ever-fecund source of surprise. I 
think the preservation of that random- 
ness is very important, Without 
everything would be completely predict 
able, and a predictable future is already 
c when the result of a chess 
we cancel the game and 


begin another. 


CLARKE: The question of the position of 
mechanical intelligence in the cvolution- 
ary sequence is one I've written a good 
deal about. It's one of the themes in 
2001 and Uve discussed it more recently 
in The Mind of the Machine, an essay 
in rLaveoY a few years back [December 
1068. I've suggested. as others have, 
that electronic intelligence represents 
the next step in evolution, The fact that 
we don't feel happy about it means no 
nore than the fact that the Neander- 
thals probably would have felt pretty 
unhappy if they had known about us. 
That doesn't worry me unduly. And I 
don't agree with you that we wouldn't 
have abi i i 


h electronic intelli- 
gence. We could have just as much, if 

g that can be 
systems can, in 
be done much better 
al systems. The exam- 
ple I like to give is the eye as compared 
with the camera. Now, the eye is a 
fantastic achievement—the idea of build- 
camera out of jelly is incredible— 
but it’s a lousy camera. Similarly, the 
idea of building a computer out of jelly, 
which is what our brain is, is marvelous, 
but 1 think the brain is а lousy comput- 
er. Nevertheless, the biological system is 
the only way you can get from a lifeless 
planet to an elecuonic intelligence. I 
can't imagine all the metals in a dead 


done 


273 


PLAYBOY 


planet organizing themselves eventually 
into an IBM computer: I think they 

got to pass through something like us, 
and this is our role in the evolutionary 
sequence. We are a transitional stage 
in the development of a high-powered, 
swift intelligence that is probably goi 
to be electronic and that probably won " 
live on planets at all. It may live either 
in space or, as I suggested, in the real 


centers of energy in the Universe, where 
there are tremendous quantities of radia- 
tion and electronic activity. The first 


generation of electronic 
which lies only a few ye 
's not already here, will be 
ter. There'll be printed circuits and 


intelligences, 


forth, but ult 
from that into purc energy 
that we may be superseded by electron- 
ic beings upsets most people; H 
from a hum: 
that supersedes us is bad, period. But this 
is a self-centered, short-term point of view. 
We all know we're going to be succeeded 
by our children someday. We accept that 
hout too much hysteria and we do our 
best to make them better than we are. 
WATTS: I don't expect my children to be 
better than I am: I expect them to be 
dilferent but as good in their own w 
CLARKE: The same argument is applicable 
to electro: telligence, which, 
sense, у be our children, 
WATTS: The heart of the matter is that 
we really don't believe, and probably can't. 
believe, that a machine is conscious, that 
at element of idomness, the 
ity to surprise, However perfecily 
replicates whatever we can do, we always 
feel that there is no one at home in a 
machine, that there isn’t inside it that 
mysterious awareness that we mean by 
being alive. Let me try to state the dif- 
ference between logical system and 
a mechanical one. Lets assume that the 
Universe is a seltexploring system and 
that no system can fully define itsell— 
in the same way that my index finger 
cannot touch its own tip and my teeth 
cannot bite themselves, IE this is so, then. 
the Universe will always have two aspects: 
the known and the unknown but know- 
ing. Living beings comprise both as- 
pects, but machines only the first; their 
I don't 
now everything about. the 
physics of their metals, but that we know 
their design because we created it. We 
don't fully know, and did consciously 
create, our own design—and therefore we 
always embody the ever-unknown aspect 
of the system. Despite my demurrer, how- 
ever, I ат fascinated by your vision of an 
lactic network of intelligence: 
They may already exist, 


we 


you 


know. 
WATTS: 1 assumed they did. 


Arthur, your 
e future 
ion of the 


of the 
sponds to my exploi 


274 present. You've shown me how I can 


appreciate myself as something bounded 
by my own skin bur also in a network of 
relationships that includes the galaxies. 
CLARKE: “I could be bounded nut- 
shell and count myself a king of infinite 
space.” A very remarkable phrase for 
Shakespeare's time. 

WATTS: From my point of view, if your 
future is achieved, of course, it will only 
rerealize what is already here, in a way 
that makes it all the time seem different. 
That's what we want, after all, isn't it? 
CLARKE: We don’t really want the furure 
we foresee, because it would be so dull. 
Which brings up the charge frequently 
made against science-fiction writers t 
some of us have a nostalgia for the 
future. But I think it’s much better to 
have а nostalgia for the future than for 
the past; it has better survival value. 
warts: 1 have a nostalgia for the pres 
ent, because the present includes every- 
thing we know about the past and the 
future. There is only the present; there 
never was anything else and ther 


never 
will be. Most people live for the future, 
and make all sorts of plans for it, but 
when those plans mature, they won't be 
able to enjoy them, because they'll be 
living somewhere else in their minds. 
CLARKE: Why should we bother about 
posterity, whar’s posterity ever done for 
us?—that’s what you want to say. 

WATIS: I regard my posterity as myself, 
CLARKE: You don’t believe in anything 
but the present? 

watts: 1 believe that the present is the 
way ın which we apprehend reality, and 
that's where it's at. 

CLARKE: І guess that’s fair enough. 
warts: There are people who don't 
even have words in their language for 
past or future. The Hopi, for cxample, 
conjugate their verbs 
reliability of the statement 
conjugation would be: 1 
about it now and it is happening. The 
second conjugation would bc: I did, 
indeed, scc it as if it were just a moment 
ago. Third conjugation: I heard it from 
a reliable source, Fourth conjugation: It 
may reasonably be assumed it was 
so. Filth conjugation: There is a rumor. 
CLARKE: Using the fourth conjugation 
could it be reasonably assumed—as I have 
inferred throughout this discussion—thar 
you have a basic distrust of technology? 
warts: Well, I feel t the ultimate 
end of technology is to control every- 
thing. and I'm not sure that I want to 
control 1 

CLARKE: But you want to know it a 
that right? 

watts; No—knowledge 
the same thing. 

CLARKE: Are they? There are people who 
re content to simply have knowledge. 
ns without any control; they 
Just want to know, they don’t want to 
manipulate. I think Tm rather like that. 
watts: ГЇЇ go along with that. 
CLARKE: It's curiosity, just curiosity. 


ccording to the 
The first 


nd control are 


watts: There are two kinds of power; 
one is called, if I can use Sanskrit once 
gain, prajna; the other, Siddhi. Siddhi 
is power in the technological sense; prajna 
is wisdom. 

CLARKE: ds vidya. 

WATTS: Vidya, from which we get our 
video: one Prajna and vidya are more 
what I want than Siddhi, because I know 
however much technological power 1 
get, ГЇЇ never be satisfied. It's like 
quenching your thirst with salt water. 
But I can be satisfied with wisdom. To 
my mind, changing the level of magnifi 
cation and seeing things in different 
contexts and on different levels is in the 
interest of prajna rather than Siddhi, 
CLARKE: Wisdom is a peculiarly personal 
thing, Alan; it helps us not only under- 
stand our environment but also assess 
our own role in it, From this personal 
t, how do you look at yourself 
ism /enyironment, to use your 


i 1 seem to be congenitally incapa- 
ble of understanding any scheme of the 
Universe that involves the notion that I, 
at the deepest level of me, am not 
"whar's happening.” When I look ou 
axies, I see me—oh. not the Alan 
Watts me: that’s only a superficial social 
game. But I see the same sort of me out 
there that is functioning in my mole- 
cules and cells, my blood and my nerves. 
All that to me is electronic unity. I am 
n occurrence of this system that, given 
enough time, can do me again and again 
and again. Every time the tune comes 
оп, it's the tune that would bc associ- 
ated with Alan Watts. In that sense, 1 
think we've got to realize that the indi- 
vidual life doesn't mean anything. It 
isn’t important, except to people who 
are incapable of experiencing it fully— 
they're always left hungry and wanting 
more. But, as Confucius said, the man 
who understands the Tao in the morn- 
ng can die content in the evening. I 
n't spell it out much better than that: 
when people ask to have the meaning of 
life explained to them, it’s like asking 
Bach to explain his music in words. 
Only inferior music can be explai 
that way. A Bach fugue doesn't 
nything to say except itself. I want to 
Jook at the Universe in the same wa 
CLARKE: The purpose of the Univers 
Alan, is the perpetual astonishment of 
mankind. 

wans: That's as likely as any other 
purpose I've ever heard about, But I 
think that now is the time to surprise 


to actually suffe 
through them. I think we could conclude 
that man’s youth—like our dialog—has 
been spent secking answers, His maturity 
—and ours—may come only when we stop 


asking question 


275 


PLAYBOY 


276 


FRANKLIN AMBROSE 


dirt by the white male establishment— 
haven't you? Haven't they victimized 
you? Blacks and women are both 

Frank could not believe his cars. He 
grabbed her arm. 

Well, we didn't get together tonight 
to talk about that kind of stuff,” he 
nd as she tugged away from 


‚ “there's anything I h 
n who talks too much” 

"What? You're crazy!" 

“You're crazy!" Frank yelled. A 
flame seemed to burn in his brain, he 
was so angry. “Look, you been givin’ me 
the eye now for four months an’ I been 
around after you as if I got 
nothin’ better to do, when Jesus Christ, 
there are little girls waitin’ in line—/ 
mean waitin’ in line, sister—so don't 
hand me none of this crap— 

Molly jumped to her fect. She yanked 
his pale-yellow ascot out of his shirt 
and up onto his face, so that he was 
blinded for a second. 

“Get the hell out of here! Go home 
to your honkie wife!” she cried. 

He went home, furious, He was never 


te, 


s he went around muttering: 
to himself, avoiding Molly in the hall, 
voiding even his students. When a red- 
haired freshman dropped in to chat 
with him about the “erotic symbolism of 
Т. S. Eliot," he did not trust his assess- 
ment of her sweet little smiles. No, he 
couldn't trust his judgment. Was the 
gitl really smiling so deeply at him? Or 
was he being fooled again? 

One day Frank put on his neatest, 


(continued from page 152) 
grayest suit, asked the head of the de- 
partment, Dr. Barth, to call ап emer- 
gency mecüng of the appointments 
promotions committee, and explained 
a terse, quiet voice that his 
relationship” with the student body al- 
lowed him to know things that the rest 
of the department did not know. 

When the mecting was convened, Frank 
spoke first. “The students have no respect 
for Miss Holt,” he said sadly. “They 
laugh at her—evidently, she mispro- 
nounces words. She doesn't prepare her 
lectures. I've overheard her talking with 
students in the coffee shop and she actual- 
ly gives them misinlormation—its just 
pathetic, unbelievable. I've put off telling 
because the situation is so ugly. 
vas on my strong recommendation 
she was hired last year and it’s my 
responsibility now to tell you what is 
going on.” 


* Dr. Barth said slowly. 

“The students are reluctant to talk to 
you, Dr. Barth 
you're—well, you're so obviously above 
their trivial problems, so they think. 
They come to me because there’s—well, 
I suppose less of an age differen 

Dr. Barth nodded gravely. 
know I'm out of touch with this gencra- 
tion. I know. But about Miss Holt: 
There may be trouble dismissing her. 
She's going to be awarded a Ph.D. from 
Chicago. alter all. 

No, she hasn't been working on her 
dissertation all year" Frank said. "I 
don't know what she's been doing. Ac- 
tually, I wonder about her professional 
commitment.” 


"Is it my fault that Рт faster than a speeding bullet?” 


"Ihe other members of the committee 
murmured agreement. 

Frank went on solemnly, “It comes 
down to the preservation of our profes 
sional standards. We cannot afford,” he 
said, looking from face to face, “in this 
time of disintegrating values, to have so 
casual and uncommitted a teacher in 
our department. Miss Holt is just not 
respected by her students. Evidently, she 
refers to the rest of us, in her classes, as 
fossils.” 

"Fossils?" 

“I told you it was an ugly situa 
ank said softly. 

Dr. Barth called a special meeting of 
the entire department for Monday morn 
g. Molly came in late and Frank did 


tion," 


no more than glance at her, nervously 
г 


She pulled ош a ch; at the far end 
of the big oval table everyone was seated 
around and the giddiness of her outfit 
—railly, she had gone too far, wearing a 
loose-knit black tunic over violet-jersey 
panis to school!—scemed to show every: 
one how hopeless she was. Dr. Barth 
began the meeting in his usual grim, 
paternal voice, his hands clasped in 
front of him. He spoke of unpleasant 
reports, of an unfortunate situation, of 
the rigorous standards of this particular 
department, etc., etc. He was the only 
one who was looking at Molly, who i 
her turn was glancing around, curioush 
Frank stared at his own manicured fin- 
gernails. His heart raced. Why, the old 
man sounded so sorry for her, was he 
going to change his mind? Maybe just 
reprimand her? 

Dr. Barth said, “Because of special 
circumstances, the committee on ap- 
pointments and promotions has been 
forced to suggest that the contract of 
Miss Holt not be renewed for next year. 
This decision was reached after many 
hours of anguish, after many, many hours 
of discussion. There are budget problems, 
h might involve our slighuly re- 
ducing the salarics of other department 
members, unless the Iectureship held by 
Miss Holt is terminated. But 1 should 
in no way, of course, influence your vote 
on the matter. Under the terms of our 
bylaws, I have therefore called this meet- 
ing of the dey 
support the committees recommend 
and terminate Miss Holt's conu 

Molly was 

“Wha 

No one dared look at her. Many of 
the department members had been told 
by Dr. Barth of the reason for the 
meeting: the others stared at one another 
in disbelief. 
folly, sitting so решу at the far end 
of the table, seemed suddenly to shrink. 

“But why? What are the reasons? Can't 
I defend myself?’ 

"Under the terms of our university 
bylaws," Dr. Barth said gently, “no reasons 


also, wl 


artment to request thar you 


tion 


for nonrenewal of contract need be stated. 
Only in the case of nonrenewal of a 
tenured faculty member need reasons be 


“If you would like to say anything. 
Im sure we would all listen with sym- 
pathy,” Dr. Barth sai 

"sadi edd 

She fell silent. 

After a minute or so, Dr. Barth said, 
"Then we really should get on with the 
vote. Some of us have eleveno'dock 
classes we must teach." 

Stiff white slips of paper were passed 
around for the vote. 

Frank scribbled “Dismissal” on his 
ballot at once, folded it neatly in two 
and then in two again. 

Next to him sit old Miss Snyder, a 
back number from the university's really 
mediocre years; with her billowing gray 
dresses and her stern, medieval nose, she 
had ed Molly Holt. No 
problem there. On Frank's left the 
poet, Blazack, who kept shifting misera- 
bly in hi round the large, highly 
polished table everyone sat in silence, 
staring down at their ballots, They 
seemed reluctant to vote. The only 
people who sat with their heads up were 
nd Dr. Barth and Molly, whose 
allot lay before her, untouched. 

"Really, we must hurry, Its a quarter 
to eleven," Dr. Barth said. 

collected by the de- 
parunental secretary and counted out. 
k could overhear the count: For 
dismissal, Against dismissal. He began to 
he might lose. What 


aged to win her way into the 
hearts of the other professors? What i 
she'd told them the sume hard-luck story 
she had told him? What if they refused to 
believe him? His nostrils flared. In that 

s . Would quit. Would 
Yes, he would quit. 
n in this depart 


ment if h ty were 
doubted. 
Dr. Barth announced the resul 


"The vote is sixteen to five for non- 
renewal of Miss Ноје cont 

Molly pushed her chair back clumsily 
and got to her feet, “But 1. . . I still 
don't understand. . . .” 

“1 will be happy to talk with you and 
to make suggestions about where you 
might apply for a new position," Dr. 
Barth said at once. "In fact, we would 
all be happy to help you.” 

Molly snatched up her big leather 
purse and hurried out of the room. 

Relief. 

Frank lingered with some of the 
others, shaking his head gravely as they 
shook theirs. He had to admit he'd been 


taken in by her . . . he had to admit 
he'd made a mistake. . .. The whole 
ugly mess was his fault, he said. 

"No, don’t blame yourself, Frank," 
everyone said. 


Dr. Barth patted his ‚ме 
belong to a profession with extremely 
vigorous standards. Personal feelings 
shouldn't enter into it at all. Im sure 
Miss Holt г in another 


university, with less demanding criteria 
of excellence.” 

But Frank found it difficult to bc 
comforted. He felt really down. Instead 
of going out to The Cave with his 
students that afternoon. he went right 
home. His wife was frightened by his 
dour, peevish frown. 

"You're not si rank?" 

No, not sick. He put on his smoking 
jacket and went to sit in his leather 
chair; he wanted to be alone. His wife 
opened his study door to ask, meekly, if 
he wanted dinner delayed. “Yes. Maybe 


an hour,” he said. She then asked if the 
twins could come play with him for a 
few minutcs—theyd been waiting for 
to come home all day. 
ink. considered this 

His eyes traveled up from his excellent 
shoes to his slim, checked trousers, to the 
casual richness of his navy-blue smoking 
jacket. He had knotted a white ascot 
quickly around his neck. He sensed his 
totality, his completion—a man who did 
not need anyone else, certainly not a 
woman. But he had lived through a 
certain emotional experience—there was 
no doubt his mind that it had been 
an experience—and though he had 
triumphed, still he felt a litle melan- 
holy. It was a d. 
choly and the twins were so health: 
noisy that they might destroy 

Finally, he said, “No, not right now. 
want to be alone. [ feel a 
choly and I wa 


licate, sensitive melan. 


“Before you continue, Miss Dean, Га 
like to point out that my book, ‘27 Positions, is not 


about exercise or weight control.” 


277 


PLAYBOY 


218 life as s 


EVERGLADES 2 fon pee 159 


out over the centuries by plant acids, 
more often a tangle of leaves. Cool water, 
brown but entirely dear. Small plants 
like green stars grow on the bottom. You 
can drink the water. It tastes of plant 
decay, but no more so than most Flori 
water. The cypress trees close overhead 
nd sunlight breaks fitfully through. 
Lichens grow on the tree trunks, gray- 
green, bright-green, even pink, and moss 
soft as velvet, wet home for things too 
small to sce. On the cypress branches sit 
air plants like isolated pineapples, their 
pointed leaves cupped to catch rain, Some 
of the a mts catch enough water to 
support life, natural aquariums with a 
crawfish and a tadpole or two up there in 
the trees. The nooks and crannies of life, 
a tadpole in an air plant on a cypress in 
the swamp, You realize you will not be 
attacked by predators and you relax, 
enjoying the cool water in the summer 
heat, You slog back into the swamp and 
farther back, heading toward a pond, 
passing a few cut stumps. then big trees 
never cut, trees that have grown in 
silence since before Columbus’ first voy- 
ре, trees towering up to the sun like the 
columns of cathedrals. And rooted in the 
ter, in the slow southward flow. 

The pond is a clearing, one of the 
ter holes around which the cypress 
grow. It is still choked with grass from 
last winter's drought. The grass will die, 
flooded out by summer rain and 
thrashed down by alligators. You wade to 
your w n the water now, taking 
caution in the dense grass. Ahead of 
you, out of sight, frogs bleat and jump. 
‘The distance is exact, an exact territo- 
vial boundary, Cross the boundary and 
you throw a switch and the frogs bleat 
and jump. The grass is indifferent. It 
has grown and seeded. It has done its 
job. It hangs in bunches on your legs. 
From time to time you reach under the 
water and push the grass behind you. 
You are making а gator trail. You 
are an alligator pushing through lime 
grass in the Florida sun. You reach the 
edge of the pond and climb over a 
floating log and re-enter the cypress 
shade. You could walk into eternity 
cypress swamp, It has no corners. It is 
not abstract and knows no titles nor plats 
It flows and changes in patterns we are 
only dimly beginning to understand. The 
south Florida ecosystem has been seri- 
ously studied for less than 30 years, 

If you find bogeymen in a cypress 
swamp, then you put them here, It is 
only itself, green in tooth and claw. It is 
what we left behind, territorial frogs 
and silent trees. You could liye here if 
you took the trouble to learn how. An 
gator might get you. There are worse 
deaths. De: ns nothing and less 
than nothing here. Death leads back to 
ely as a circle turns in upon 


wa 


м: 


па 


itself. IE you died, the moss would still 

ang from the trees and the air plants 
comic birds, nursing along a 
tadpole or two. The resurrection ferns, 
come summer and summer rain, would 
still resurrect. The gods who designed 
the swamp had a sense of humor. They 
put air plants on the trees and green- 
gray pads of periphyton in the wate! 
nd they canceled death, The periphy- 
ton is spongy and slippery. You can 
mold it like clay. It feeds small things 
that feed larger things that eventually 
feed alligators, and the alligators belch 
and bed down in cypress ponds. Gar 
hover like broken branches. Leaves float 
by. A spider shakes its web strung on 
struts that reach high up into the wees. 
Cypress knees bend above the water. 
They might be shaggy ladies offering an 
accommodation. "How could anyone 
want to tear this beautiful place down?" 
sks my guide, a friend of the earth. 
How could they not, with its old myster- 
ies scratching at their souls? It denies 
them their sovereignties. It reminds 
them that life, all life, their own life, 
too, is a swarm of molecules thrown up 
momentarily in fantastic shapes and 
washed down and thrown up again, like 
waves breaking forever against a shorc. 
Cowering behind antique metaphysics, 
believing life a constitutional right and 
death an obscenity, most of us find such 
xeminders hard to cherish. 


As love does when it decays, the de- 
bate over the future of the Big Cypress 
Swamp is rapidly resolving into a power 
struggle. Those who bel 
land should be preserved in Am 
for itself and a hedge against the 
unknown cficcts of masive ecological 
change, are fighting to preserve the B 
Cypress, Those who believe the land is 
infinitely bountiful and was put here for 
human use are fighting to develop the 
Big Cypress. Wedged between the two 
positions is the tender science of ecolo- 

nd it is no more capable of taking a 
stand than a child is capable of 

g between parents in a divorce. 

Joe Browder, W. 
the Friends of the th and the man 
more responsible than any other for 
bringing the Everglades jetport to na- 
tional attention and censure, 
thinks that Big Cypress development 
would be a catastrophe, “Failure to pro- 
tect that portion of the Big Cypress that 
supplies water to Everglades National 
Park,” he has written, “would, in addi- 
tion to destroying the existing natural 
values in much of the Everglades, de- 
crease water supply and increase water 
demand in southwest Florida to such a. 
degree that additional pressures would 
be placed on the other major Everglades 


hington director of 


nation 


watershed, the stw-grass glades managed 
by the [Flood Control District]. The extra 
water demands would diminish the sup- 
ply available for urban, industrial and 
agricultural users in southeast Florida, 
and would further stimulate the conflict 
between all other users and Everglades 


National Park. 
Landowners in Collier County, the 
county in southwest Florida that in- 


cludes most of the Big Cypress, disagree. 
They believe the water is plentiful, the 
swamp useless and dangerous, develop- 
ment desirable and water into the park 
merely a matter of aiming a few canals its 
way. Their plans, they have said publicly, 
“could make this park into a living gar- 
den for wildlife and plant life the yea 
round.” It is that already, but never mind. 

The facts, as far as they are known, 
fall somewhere betwee 

The Big Cypress is presently an unu- 
sual and largely undamaged south Flori- 
da swamp, most of it privatcly owned. 
All of its water comes from rain. The 
rain that falls on the Big Cypress re- 
charges the fresh-water aquiler that 
supplies water for human use on the 
southwest coast of the state. It is the only 
natural water supply available to the 
coast. When the aquifer is full, water 
left standing on the ground drifts slowly 
down into the coastal portio 


life there under natural conditions. 

If the Big Cypress were drained, its 
ecology would be altered from thar of a 
swamp to that of dry land. Most of the 
Ше that thrives there would die off. 
So would the coastal estuary. The park 
would take its water from canals and the 
canals would certainly change and might 
permanently disrupt the ecology of the 
land within the park itself. The park's 
chief biologist, William Robertson, thinks 
the effects of development “highly un- 
predictable” but probably damaging. 

The Water Resources Division of the 
United States Geological Survey, in a 
report prepared for Interior Secretary 
Walter Hickel before he left Washington, 
implied that controlled development of 
the Big Cypress would 
to the park but would not seriously impair 
the Gulf Coast’s water supply. “No esti- 
ailable,” the report said, “of the 
total watersupply potential of [the west- 
ern Big Cypress]. The present total water 
use in those areas is insignificant com- 
pared with the quantity evaporated, t 
spired and discharged through the 
systems.” 

Draining the Big Cypress, then, would 
deliver up an enormous tract of land for 
human use. It would destroy the Big 
Cypress itself. It would turn the park 
into a giant zoo, an ecosystem that 
would look natural to casual ors but 
would, in fact, be artificially maintained 
through canals. Pesticides used for mos- 
quito control in the new towns north of 


the park would take their toll on the 
park, but the effects would be long-term, 
Any adverse effects on the Gulf Coast 
water supply would also be longterm. 

The question of the Big Cypress be- 
comes a long-term question, though it 
must be answered now, before develop- 
ment proceeds any further: What kind 
of future do the people of south Flori 
envision for themselves? And that ques- 
n is part of a larger dilemma: What 
kind of future do all of us in America 
envision for ourselves? Assuming that 
we have a choice, do we want to 
entirely in cities under artificial condi- 
tions or do we want a little of the 
natural world around us? 

The larger dilemma begins to answer 
itself not in the speeches of our leaders 
but in the actions of individual citizens 
moving forward along parallel lines. We 
laid out the land long ago, in square 
sections that looked logical on a map 
but had nothing to do with the natural 
divisions of the land itself and little to 
do with the interests of the people who 
lived on Nowhere did the fine en- 
lightened minds that devised our Consti- 
tution fail us more completely. Over the 
grid of sections they fitted a Balkanized 
grid of political institutions, of town- 
ships and countics and states. Each had 
its particul Each devel- 
oped its particular structures of power, 
some informal, some legally constituted. 
The old boundarics worked when the 
nation was poor in people and overrich 
in resources. They worked when those 
who differed from the established au- 
thorities had at least the possibility of 
moving on. 

The boundaries are strained almost to 
breaking today, and the points of stress 
locate problems the entire nation is scram- 
bling to solve. Our cities need money be- 
cause their legal boundaries no longer 
define the metropolitan areas in which 
we live, areas that may well cut across 
village, town, city, county and even state 
lines, areas chopped up into small author- 
ities that drain away tax money to dupli- 
cate services the city has traditionally 
supplied. Citizens in nearly every state 
struggle with state legislatures still gerry- 
wandered to give dominance to rural 
interests. Pollution control continues by 
law to be the respon: y of state and 
local governments, while pollution blows 
across boundary lines. The shape of our 
political institutions no longer matches 
the shape of our purposes and our need. 

Consider Florida. The Everglades, 
which is all one watershed from Okee- 
chobee to Cape Sable, is divided into 
three counties, а state-Federal water- 
conservation district and a national park, 
cach with its own priorities of water and 
development. 

The Big Cypress Swamp is being de- 


ines. 


“Excuse me for shouting—I thought you were farther away.” 


veloped by men who have no legal nor 
political responsibility to consider the 
ultimate effects of that development. 
The area of the Big Cypress that preser- 
vationists would like the Federal Gov- 
ernment to buy is located in Monroe and 
Collier counties. Many of the large de- 
velopers live in Miami. The Monroe 
County seat is located in Key West, 100 
miles away across Florida Bay. 

Lake Okeechobee supplies water for 
Miami and most of Florida's Gold 
Coast. The water that fecds Okeechobee 
and is beginning to pollute it with pesti- 
cides and fertilizers rushes down the 
channelized Kissimmee River from farms 
and towns to the north, farms and towns 
that draw their own water supply from 
sources other than the big lake. 

The list could be longer and it could 
be duplicated anywhere in America, It 
demonstrates a failure of responsibility 
on the part of institutions that no longer 
бс our needs but are unwilling to ro- 
arrange the authority they have held for 
so many years. But we have never been 
a people to let institutions stand in ou 
way. When they have not worked, we 
have either abolished them or left them 
to die of neglect while we moved on to 
others that could do the job we wanted 
done. That is why a few activist men 
and women could work through the 
courts, the press, the television networks 


and the lobbies of Congress to convince 
a President that he should personally 
cancel one county-sponsored jetport. 
‘That is why Congress, not the state of 
Florida nor the governments of Collier 
and Montoe counties, will probably find 
some way to buy or otherwise control 
the Big Cypress Swamp. But that is also 
why the battle to save the wild lands, in 
south Florida and elsewhere, has been so 
difficult for those who believe land de- 
serves its day in court as surely as people 
do: because the idea is new and the 
stitutions that will make it work are si 
being shaped. 

The battle may be won, if there is 
time. No one knows how much time is 
left. However abstractly we divided the 
land, and however much we may want 
today to redivide it into shapes more 
consistent with its natural patterns, it 
has never been attend 
changes with the certainty of old I 
chemistry and physics. We can misuse it, 
if that is what we are doing, for an 
unknown length of time before it fails 


to serve our needs; but when that time is 
up, it fails suddenly and totally and with- 
‘out much hope of recovery. Poisonous or- 
ganisms have already appeared 
northern end of Lake Okeechobee. Miami 
imposed water 
Everglades,” says Arthur Marshall, an 
ecologist at the University of M 


ami who 279 


280 


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has studied south Florida for 22 years, 
“has all the symptoms of environmen- 
tal stress and approaching catastrophic 
decline.” 

Perhaps it has. The men who believe 
the Lord gave us land to build on 
aren't worried. "Look at the Dutch, 
one of them, Ben Shepard, а commis 
sioner of the Dade County Port Au- 
thority, said recently. “They completely 
destroyed the ecology of their land and 
yet it’s supporting human life satisfac- 
torily. The Dutch arc some of the bes 
adjusted, most prosperous, happiest people 
today.” Shepard’s is the old voice, the 
voice of a practical cr and busi- 
nessman. It probably docs him no justice 
to recite John Maynard Keynes's јаре 


at such men. “Practical men," he said, 
т ve themselves to be quite сх- 
empt from any intellectual influences, 


are usually the slaves of some defunct 
cconomist" Because Florida, having 
everything elsc, also has its own lite 


Netherlands: Kcy West. 


Key West. A waterless island of fossil- 
ized coral surrounded by the sea. If the 
continent were water and the water land, 
Key West is where all the sweetness and 
bitterness, all the honey and sour acids 
of our complicated American lives 
would drain, The southernmost point in 
the United States. Land's end, Old glory 
and present decay. Haven for disgrun- 
ded Cubans paddling the 90 miles from 
Havana on rafts of canvas and old inner 
tubes. Tourist trap meringued with key 
lime pie. Swabbics town clipped to a 
diab naval base where black submarines 
cruise the harbor like sharks, Where 
developers reclaim land from the sea, 
the dying mangroves stinking of sul- 
phur. Where an aquarium displays 
ocean fish in narrow tanks, white fungus 
blinding their eyes. Hemingway's home 
and Audubon's shrine. 

Some of Key West's water comes from 
the Everglades. When the Navy decided 
to settle permanently on the island. it 
a pipeline down the Overseas High- 
to supply it with water. Before the 
pipeline came in, the natives collected 
а water in cisterns behind their houses 
or bought it from commercial cisterns that 
dotted the island like small-town Mexi- 
With its population growing 
1 response to the tourist trade, 
Key West has gone to desalinization. 
Westinghouse built it a $4,000,000 plant, 
the largest of its kind in the United 
States. If we run out of water, we can 
always distill the sca. With water, the 
motels in Key West may fill their sw 
ming pools for tourists who come to sce 
ards or to bend 
"s favorite bar, hung with 
and open to the 


cm jai 


in elbow. 


the turtle stock: 
in Hemingwa 
parachute canop 


street. And no one can complain of 
ccolopical damage, because there isn't 
much you can do to a dry Florida key 
once you've kicked out the dwarf key 
deer, There ought to be no wilderness 
here at all, except the wilderness of the 
but even here, the wilderness in- 
tudes like a hypodermic straining blood 
into a dying man. 


Hemingway's house hangs back on a 


side street, a wide, gracious house 
rounded on four sides with gardens and 
wopical trees—a huge banyan, shading 
palms, a royal poinciana with all 
fired [lowers burning. Cats prowl the 
conidors and sleep under the trees. 
Here the man lived for years, tighten- 
ing down the screws on his inner life 
even as his public life thickened with 
poisonous fame, writing less and less well. 
Describing love with the naiveté of a 
schoolgirl. Hunting Nazi submarines in 
the Caribbean. Converting heroism into 
mere bravado by dividing it from its 
vital source, the idea of death, his best 
and only theme, the theme he avoided 
more and more. Avoided ший it killed 
him. 

He was a hunter and a fisherman. He 
tried to come to grips with the land and 
the ser and at his occasional best he 
succeeded as well as anyone ever has; 
but to hunt and to fish is only to use the 
natural world, and to recover that world 
in all its intimacy, you must be used by 
it, must give yourself up to it as nakedly 
ny Indian. He could not, He walked 
row catwalk to his study over the 
с and sharpened his pencils and 
t to find feelings he progressively 
lost because he could not bear the crowd 
of fantasies that came with them, 
“There is no timber,” an Irish playwright 
once wrote, “that has not strong roots 
among the clay and worms.” You must 
be buried alive like a seed or a larva to 
grow up into the sun, and to write 
about that growth you must willingly 
с over and over again. 


wielded his shovel clumsily over his own 
grave. Below his study, so they say in 
Key Wes, in a rusted steel safe, Hem- 
ingway's last wife found the manuscripts 
away there from prying 
She would publish them after his 
death to add a few thousand years more 
to his trial in purgatory. He bent to the 
wilderness and it devoured him. 

Audubon owned Key 
West, but he stayed in one that is more 
than a match for Hemingway's. It is a 
shrine today. decked out with expensive 
antiques that command more attention 
than they deserve. The house belonged 
to a Key West salvager named С а 
plump. bespectacled old 
hypocrite who made his living hauling 


no house in 


and 


scholar 


in the lucrative stores of ships wrecked 
on the coral reef east of the island. Key 
West was a wealthy town when M i 


mi 
was still an Indian village, and the is- 
landers weren't above rearranging reef 
markers to keep it that way. Capt 
Geiger salvaged with the best of them 
and got rich on the proceeds. 

Down came Audubon one day to 
work up the Florid: ds. The capt 
housed him, a rare d himself, Once, 
in New Orleans, broke, months from 
home and marriage bed, Audubon ac- 
cepted a beautiful woman's commission 
to paint her portrait. He hauled his 
palette to her backstreet house and 
found her naked before him on a couch. 
She lay naked for ten long afternoons 
while he stared and cartooned itnd oiled. 
It was the most difficult commission he 
ever accepted, he told a friend liter. 

He brought the same compaction of 
frustrated lust to his birds. They perch 
life-size in the pages of the enormous 
t folios displayed today in Cap- 
Geigers house. Audubon's eye 
raped them alive, tore them free from 
the clay and the worms. They rend their 
prey or fix the water at their feet with 
high metabolic intensity or poise to leap 
from the paper and claw out your heart, 
He sw the wilderness through them, 
made them transparent as any lantern 
le. Their hollow whistling bones and 
their racing wings beat from the inte 
stices of the creamy paper against which 
they were thrown. Making them, build- 
ing them up with remembered motions 
of the сус and the hand that first 
described them alive in the Ever- 
glades, he lived with the fear that trick- 
led sweat down his back and pushed 
through to the swarming mystery be- 
yond. The Aztec priests who never cut 
their h nd never knew a woman 
molded seeds and fresh human blood 
nd black dirt into idols in black rooms. 
off the main halls of their temples, and. 
Audubon, sweating 
at raffish Captain Geiger's house in Key 
West, molded sceds and blood and black 
dirt into birds and discovered the esse: 
tial Florida, the Florida that not even 
the most ardent preservationist dares 
speak of, the Florida that sent William 
Bartram into paroxysms of bliss and 
Samucl Coleridge into opium dreams. 
Why, the wilderness is insane. It destroys 
us with pluralitics, It skins off our flesh 
and shows us branching vessels and twitch- 
ing meat and bubbling fluids and bones 
round and sturdy as tree trunks. The al- 
ligator in its drying pond chews up its 
young, the wild boar breeds moaning with 
its mother, the panther licks its wet mem- 
ber, the mantis eats the male it has 
coupled with, the strangler fig chokes to 
death its parent tree, the shrimp feasts 


on rot and the buzzard on decay and 
the proud cagle on carrion, and we see 
into ourselves and are horrified to live 
such a world, a world that so mirrors our 
own depths, that delights in acts we have 
thought depraved, have worked from the 
beginning of our consciousness to fence 
in and legislate away. We wear pants 
and write laws and turn over the earth 
and only at the climax of our feverish 
couplings do we dimly sense how far 
we have removed ourselves from the 
moment-by-moment ecstasies of any ап 
mal's ordinary day. And that is one rea- 
son to keep what is left of wilderness in 
this civilized land, not to fish and hunt 
but to see the complexities that lie dor- 
mant within us, the possibilities we have 
not yet understood, because Shakespeare 
and the old Indian tales and the myths of 
Greece and Rome together do not begin 
to reveal as many metamorphoses as one 
walk through a cypress swamp or one 
descent into a coral reef. Audubon knew 
and pushed through his fear to the other 
side and came back bird-maddened and 
showed us what he saw, the Florida that 
pulses inside, And for his trouble he is en- 
shrined today on a barren Florida key 
fed by foul water recovered from the 
ocean. That is Key West, a little Nether- 
lands. We can convert the whole conti- 
nent over if we choose. Look at the 
Dutch. 


When we came to Florida, my wife 
and two children and I, we took a 
house on the white beach at Naples, and 
we returned to it now by air from Key 
West like birds returning to an old and 


favored nest. At Naples the land meets 
the sea casually. Nothing here of rugged 
coast nor coral reef. You must swim out 
seven miles to find a depth of 30 feet. 
No undertow will claim you, nor any 
shark. Deceptive shallow: s Florida 
with its imperceptible seaward tilt is 
deceptive, a beach itself dropping slowly 
into the water, a ramp on which the 
smallest creature may generation by gen- 
eration crawl out onto the land. We 
came from the sea, by degrees teaching 
our flesh to wrap the sea inside it. It 
courses through us every day of our 
lives, reddened now with hungry iron. 
We never returned. The fish left the 
sea and returned, most of them. Their 
blood, like ours, is less salty than sea 
water, because while they lived in the 
estuaries ot fresh water, the sea 
creased its load of salt leached from the 
land. The shark with his bitter blood 
never left the sea. He is old and well 
adapted. Older still are the airless bacte- 
ria that lie at the bottom of the lakes we 
have poisoned and the most terrible of 
anisms we suffer, botulism and 
tetanus and gas gangrene. The airless 
bacteria evolved before the fresh wind 
blew across the face of the world, 
evolved in vapors of methane and a 
saltless world of water. And learned to 
encyst themselves against the deadly o: 
gen that gives us life. Learned to м 
their turn in a world gone wild with 
- They wait now and will always be 
waiting, until sun and fresh air sting 
them no morc. 

Florida summer oppresses. Sweat col- 
lects. Clothes do not dry. You move in 


“Angela! Pietro! Make wine! Not love!” 


281 


PLAYBOY 


an invisible cloud of steam, smelling sea 
metals and the dust of palm trees. Sun 
on the white beach reverses colors in 
your eyes. At low tide, in the early 
evening, beachcombers pull piles of Na- 
ples starfish from the wet sand and lay 
them out on towels to dry, to dic. My 
son flushes an ivory crab from its hole. 
It stands high on jointed legs, its eyes 
like black pearls glued to its carapace, 
and it turns in litle jumps to face the 
boy as he moves. It is a head without a 

unk, jumping on jointed legs. It skit- 
ters sideways and collects itself and runs 
away to dig another hole and wait in 
the shadow inside, and the boy is awed 
to silence. 

Near si 


nset, the pier down the beach 


that reaches out 1000 fect into the Gulf 
fills up with fish 


men. Young people 
with long hair. elderly couples in pale- 
blue shorts and yachting caps. A hunch- 
ack whose shrunken legs dangle over 
the rim of his wheelchair. A fat woman 
with curlers in her cropped gray h 
smoking a pipe, her enormous breasts 
hanging loose beneath a dirty T-shirt. 
Fish flop on the pier and lie still, one 
silver cye fixed on the moon. Schools, 
universities of bream flash among the 
gs. bream enough to repopulate the 
n if it were ever in need, bream 
that sound the water like an orchestra of 
harps as they jump and dodge the pred- 
ators that chase them. A black ray, one 
of its wings chopped olf for bait, stains 
the pier. The tension of the fishermen 
smells like boiling lead. They have come 
out to catch fish in the low tide. Men 
nd reel them up. Boys 
drop lincs between the floor boards and 
lie on their bellies peering into the 
darkness below. A мо! baits the four 
prongs of а hook as big as а man’s fist. 
Back on the land а mosquito-ontrol 
truck pumps mists of Dibrom through 
the streety and Naples disappears like 
Brigadoon. Brown pelicans, birds as 
comic serene as Polynesian girls, 
birds that look like benevolent pterodac- 
tyls, circle the water beside the pier and 
casually fold their wings and dive and 


and 


bring up fish no fisherman can touch. 
And fly a little way off and settle on the 
water and flip the fish in the air and 


swallow them. 
The sun thickens to a giant red ball. 
tens out at 
its base. The lead tension holds, vibrat- 
ing like a dulled gong. At the moment 
of the sun's setting, everyone on the pier 
stops fishing and looks up to watch, 
pulled alert by an old compulsion. The 
vater and the sky turn pink. The red ball 
grows, careless of the energy that gives 
everything in the world its single life. Ic 
drops into the ocean, feeding the water. 
Something breaks inside. The sca has 


282 caten the sun. A few at a time, the 


fishermen reel up and walk away. The 
Dibrom settles on trees and houses and 
Naples returns to life minus mosquitoes. 
Out of sight m the swamp, in the saw 
grass, living mosquitoes snifl the air, the 
males searching nectar, the females seck- 
ing blood, 

Florida night. The thunderstorms of 
late afternoon have blown away, The 
sun has set and the fishermen are gone, 
The moon is down. On the porch of our 
house, I am drinking bourbon and talk- 
ing to a friend of the carth. It is our last. 
night in Flo 


to seem some enormous con 
contentious men and preg ilence 
and I need distance to sort it out. The 
friend of the carth believes the wild lands 
will be saved because they must be if he 
is to find any peace in the world. Bitter 
at the confusion of my own life, I be- 
lieve they will be turned and plowed 
and paved. so that homes can be built 
where children will grow up guarded 
from the stews of birth and the stink of 
death, out of sight of the real life of the 
world. He is optimistic and his optimism 
makes no sense. We have everywhere 
destroyed the wilderness, raging and 
whimpering as we went. Yet he believes 
we will put aside our old autocracies 
and become natural democrats. 

My wife remembers then a time, as a 
child, when she found a shell on the 
Naples beach icto- 
who told her to throw 
it into a pot of boiling water to dean it 
out. A child, she did, and something 
alive shot out of the shell and failed its 
legs y up to the roiling surface 
tcr and died. died as terribly as 
ng can ever die. She understood 
later wi 


out a shell. 

carth remembers a 
lost in the mountains 
and feared that he 
Iked out in three days 
without food, marveling that he had fcit, 
ter the first day, no hunger, only the 
compulsion to put one foot in front of 
the other lest he lie down and give up. 


nd of the 
n he wa 
Mexico 
would die. He wa 


He is camping in the same mountains as 
1 write. 
We are a wild species, Darwin said. 


We were never scientifically bred. We 
are a various and colorful pack of mon 
grels. and the wilderness made us w 

we are: It is the place from which we 
came and the place, day and worms, 
where we shall go, For most of the life of 
man, we could not live with that knowl- 
edge. Rather than live with it, we 
pushed the wilderness away from us, as a 
child pushes away the mother who would 
smother him with complexity. We go 
into the wilderness today, what is left 
of it, to find out who we are; but that is 
not the reason we should preserve it. We 


should preserve it because we need to 
know now, and our children and our 
children's children will need even more 
to know later, that we are not 
compelled by our raging and whimper 
always and forever to destroy, that we 
are not entirely wedded to death. We necd 
to leave a little food on our plates to 
prove that we are not impoverished. Wi 
nccd magnanimity, more today than we 
have ever needed it before. 

At midnight we wade into the Gulf, 
my wife and the friend of the carth and 
nto one small shore of the s The 
is clear and filled wich stars. constel- 
lations we can sec, formations we have 


n. 
They glow over the swamp, over the 
erglades, over the great ramp of land 
thar rises out of the water to cause men 
contention they have not yet decided 
how to still. Shall there be homes on the 
nd? Oil pumped out of й? Water 
fawn up to wash away sweat and the 
spendings of the night? Shall old lizards 
ugh muck there, green moss 
riding on their backs? And birds nest 
and the used shells of their eggs drop 
through the branches to float on the 
brown water? The things that live there, 
in the grass and in the swamp, will not 
know nor care what wc do. They will 
go on as they have or they will not go 
on at all. They do not choose. They 
only live. And the sharks circle forever, 
waiting for their prey. 

The sca water glows around our bodies 
as we move: they come 
alive with | water we 
make, dots, sparkles, flashes, Mares. We 
stare under water at a flood of stars 
slowing around the tips of our fingers, 
lighting our kicking feet and our strok- 
arms. They were here all along in 
nd we did not know. We 
nd they decorate 


ton making stars in the water wherever 
we go: layers, and layers under layers 
down into the very center of things, and. 
layers there too sm: 
below those layers until the head swims 
and sull more layers then. We are 
no more divided from the world than 
the water itself is divided. When we 
age the world, we damage ourselves, 
IE we destroy it, we destroy ourselves. / 
piece at a time, we think, a part at a time, 
but the world has no pieces and does 
not come apart. Wherever we put our 
hands, points of energy trail off from us 
like the tails of comets. The tree that 
falls without sound falls within our 
hearing. 


“Frankly, Dick, I couldn't care less who 
wins the Rose Bowl game tomorrow." 


283 


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