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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN 


FEBRUARY 1973 * ONE DOLLAR 


What Your Sex 
Fantasies Mean 


The Search 
for Superskiing 


The Town That 
Grows Millionaires 


Our Jazz & Pop 
Poll Vinners 


After only two years, 
Capri is outselling every 
European car in America, 
except one. Heres why. 


European cars used to come 
two ways. Plain and inexpensive, 
or sexy and expensive. 

Then along came Capri. The 
first sexy European at a shame- 
fully low price. 

Check Capris standard 
equipment: 

Inside, it offers glove-soft 
vinyl bucket seats. (Sit inside 
one, and you get the feeling the 
whole cars been custom-built 
around you.) 

In front of you, a handsome, 
European-styled instrument 
panel, with the rich look of 
woodgrain. 

(There also a special in- 
strumentation group: tachom- 
eter, oil pressure gauge, ammeter, 
temperature and fuel gauges. 
Standard on the V-6, optional on 
the 2000.) 

The steering is rack-and- 
pinion, the type found on 


Europes finest Grand Prix 
racing cars. 

And the gearshift gives you 
four forward speeds that let you 
really take over. 

Check also: Power-assisted 
front disc brakes. Styled steel 
wheels. Front and rear stabilizer 
bars. Radial ply tires. All stand- 
ard. (Standard. Think of it.) 

Now, for the latest options. 
For alittle extra, you can have 
a sun roof, vinyl top, select-shift 
automatic transmission and 
special decor group shown at left. 

But with Capri, its not the 
options you get for paying a 
little extra that count. It’s the 
standard equipment you get for 
paying so little. 

Thats why, after only two 
years, Capris outselling every 
European car in America, 
except one. 

And were still moving up. 


Capri. The first sexy European at a shamefully low price. 
Imported for Lincoln-Mercury. 


Loritard 1972 


Micronite filter. 
Mild, smooth taste. 

For all the right reasons. 
Kent. 


———— 9 
Te 


America's quality cigarette. 
King Size or-Deluxe 1005. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking 15 Dangerous to Your Health. 


OVER THE PAST couple of years, the ar 
published by John Clellon Holmes | 
one—M unich 


Florence, 
Los Angeles—Holmes has taken in the moods, the ghosts, 


ir genre. Wherever he's 


Naple 
the stoneand-wood realities of the place and written about it with 
vivid perception. In this issue, Holmes applies that same percep- 
tion to a journey that was vastly different; he goes back three years 
in time to remember the day his close friend Jack Kerouac was 
buried. We feel especially fortunate to have his account, Gone in 
October, because he had intended to write nothing public about 
that gathering in Lowell, Massachusets. "But I kept reading 
с reports of the day, plus other things about Kerouac that 
ked only about his On the Road image. So 1 decided it was time 
to stop watering the myths, to add something of the way he was 
those last, lonely years in St. Petersburg. And I. wanted it to be as 
ithful to the truth as posible." Now Holmes has once again 
turned his attention to a “long-overdue novel” and tells us that hi 
plans are "to keep going: to write. 

In Trouble in Paradise, novelist John Knowles sounds a warning 
10 all of you who have dreamed of cashing in your E bonds and 
fleeing to some sun-drenched rock in the Pacific to paint maho; 
colored natives. Knowles admits that he once had a similar dream 
himself, but he's always found that Ame ng to live 
paradise tend to feel rootless and more than a little desperate as 
the abundance of scenery, weather and time becomes an immobi 
g luxury. Knowles is currently writing a novel about what he 
calls "the most contagious disease in the world—madness,” and has 
just returned from а trip to Guadeloupe. the Virgin Islands and 
Jamaica, where he safely avoided “trouble in paradise” by leaving SKOW 
before it got to him. 

Our lead fiction this month, Jack, the Travelers Friend, by Paul 
Theroux, a frequent PLAYBOY contributor, continues the worldly 
theme, It takes place in Singapore, where the narrator, a thought- 
ful, dedicated pimp who really cares about his clients, finds the 
business climate becoming less than ideal. From Singapore, we 
jump—very high—to the isolated Bugaboo Mountains in Alberta, 
Canada, where Convibuting Editor John Skow traveled to find 
what many consider the best powder skiing slopes in the world. So 
remote are the runs that you're transported to them by helicopter. 
which makes the whole thing doubly exciting, much in demand 
and, yes, staggeringly expensive. Needless to say, Skow considers 
this piece, The Powder and the Glory, the most enviable assignment Mi 
he's had in his yews of covering the sport. “Certainly, it’s better BUCKLEY 
than an assignment I once had from The Saturday Evening Pest. They sent me to 
St. Louis to ski down а 50-001 artificial hill in a departme g lot" In 
addition to skiing, he has a related, equally demanding. pa 
about which he's writing a book. 

A couple of shady characters who don’t mind firing with the limits of the law for 
а buck are considered by George V. Higgins and Calvin Trillin. The second install- 
ment of The Digger's Game finds Higgi ihero, Digger Doherty, down (about 
$20,000) but hardly out. (There is, after all, Part Three next month.) The owner of 
ic first erotic car wash, in Trillin’s Keep It Clean, is doing nothing illegal—the district 
attorney's tireless efforts to uncover some obscure, violated ordinance notwithstand 
but is eventually done in by some unexpected competition. Trillin says this idea came 
from “a very funny friend named Bill Vaughan, who writes a column for The Kansas 
City Star. He suggested 1 should write a sex-in-the-car-wash piece as a sequel to my 
sexinthebank story” (Safely Deposited, vraveov, December 1071). We suggest you 

Calvin. 

Two more articles for February: Tom Buckley's analysis of the North Vietnamese 
soldier, The Spartans of Indochina (illuswated by Kathy Calderwood). and PLAYBOY 
Associate Editor Douglas Bauer's Oh, Little Town of Millionaires, which, he expl. 
money has affected a small community, by someone who's never 
iced a checkbook.” Finally, there's a Playboy Interview with the iconoclastic econo- 

ist Milton Friedman; the results of the Playboy Jazz & Pop Poll, with text by Nat 
Hentoll s by Roger Hane; Mario Casilli’s pictorial t 
ute to The k (she's co-starring in Universal's 
upcoming fil tin): and two treatments of 
sexual fantasies: one a serious quiz, the second, artist Doug Taylor's In Search 0j Love's 
Sure Thing, g some arcane ics with which to ply the love object of 
your desires. There's quite a lot mor Playmate Cyndi Wood. And since you 
js than usual to take it all i 


h this gı 


b- 


t 
KNOWLES THEROUX 


2 ®ъ 


CALDERWOOD 


HENTOFF 


TAYLOR 


vol. 20, no. 2—february, 1973 


PLAYBOY. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN’S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


RORY ена н д та з 
DEAR PLAYBOY. — кү EEG 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 19 
ACTS AND ENTERTAINMENTS = 20 
BOOKS... = T E T 
Unknown Enemy MOVIES. 26 
RECORDINGS... EE 
THEATER... Р за 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 39 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM = аз 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: MILTON FRIEDMAN candid conversation 51 
JACK, THE TRAVELER'S FRIEND—fiction PAULTHEROUX 70 
Clark's Follies THE ZIEGFELD GIRLS—pictorial. 75 
2 THE SPARTANS OF INDOCHINA —orti TOM BUCKLEY 80 
IN SEARCH OF LOVE'S SURE THING—pictoriol DOUG TAYLOR 82 
THE DIGGER'S GAME—fiction е GEORGE V. HIGGINS ве 
KEEP IT CLEAN—humor. CALVIN TRIN 8 
FIREPOT PARTY—food THOMAS MARIO 93 
THE VARGAS GIRL—pictoriol. ALBERTO VARGAS 94 
GONE IN OCTOBER—article JOHN CIELON HOLMES 96 
CLASS ACT—pleyboy's playmate of the month 100 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. . 108 


THE POWDER AND THE GLORY—art e JOHN SKOW 110 


SITTING PRETTY —medorn living. === 013 
OH, LITTLE TOWN OF MILLIONAIRES—orlicle DOUGLAS BAUER 118 
WHAT YOUR SEX FANTASIES MEAN—quiz _ 121 
“Tango's" Moria TROUBLE IN PARADISE —artict > JOHN KNOWLES 125 


d 


TEAM SPIRIT—etire. ROBERT L GREEN 126 


TWO TO "TANGO"'—pictoricl = 2131 

MARIA —pict З 5 134 
THE MAGIC RING—ribald classic JEAN DE LA FONTAINE 139 
JAZZ & POP '73—article 3 NAT HENTOFF 141 
ON THE SCENE— personel m UE 156 
PLAYBOY POTPOURRI. = Soper s 192 


GENERAL OFFICES. PLAYSOY мїн, 918 NORTH MICHIGAN ATE. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60811. RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS. DRAWINGS ANU PHOTO- 
GRAPHS SUBMITTED IF THEY ARE TO БЕ RETURNED AND NO MESPONSIDILITY CAN BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT то PLAYBOY WiLL ве 
TREATED AS UNCONDITIONALLY ASSIGNED FOR PUBLICATION AND COPTRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYBOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO СОТ AND TO COMMENT EDITORIALLY 
CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 1873 вт PLAYBOY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLAYBOY AND RABUIT HEAD SYMBOL AME MARKS OF PLAYBOY. REGISTENED U. з. PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA, 
MARQUE DEPOSEE. NOTHING MAY BE REPRINTED IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WEITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES 
эн THE FICTION AND SCHIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL PEOPLE AND PLACES 15 PURELY COINCIDENTAL- CHEDITS: COVER: MODEL JEANETTE LANSON, PHOTOGRAPHY BY FORPED 
POSAR. OTHER FHOTOGRAPHY BY: BILL ARSENAULT, P. 71: GARY CALOERWOOD, P. 3; ALFRED EISENSTAEDT, P. 3: A. WILSON EMBREY M, P. 3: BILL FRANTZ. P. 3. BENNO FRIEDMAN, 
P. 51; CARL IRI, P. 3; C. DICK NORTON, P. 3: 1 BARRY O'ROURKE, P. 3, ERIC M. SANFORD. P. 3; SUZANNE SEED, Р. 3: VERNON L SMITH, P. 3 (4). P. 75.79, ORIGINAL CONCEPT BY CHARLES LE MAIRE. 


W BUILDING, 919 NORTH MICHIGAN AVENUE, 


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PLAYBOY. FEBRUARY, 1977, VOLUME 20, NUNBEN 2 PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PLAYSOY. IN NATIONAL 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611. SECONDCLASS POSTAGE PAID AT CHICAGO, ILLINOIS. AND AT ADDITONAL MAILING OFFICES. SU 


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IMPORTED HEINEKEN. IN BOTTLES, ON DRAFT AND DARK BEER. 


PLAYBOY 


The awesome responsibility 
of being the very best. 


Leadership means responsibillty. 
Pioneer dramatizes this magnificently 
with the new, top of the line, 270 watt 
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At $429.95, including a walnut 


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Each XXXX(FOUREX) 
natural skin is folded 


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capsule. XXXX(FOUREX) natural 
skins offer superior sensitivity to 
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PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


ARTHUR KRETCUMER executive editor 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 
SHELDON WAX managing editor 


MARK KAUFFMAN photography editor 


NAT LEHRMAN 
ing editors 


ORAL 
viLER editor, GEOFFREY 
BARRY GOLSON 


ARTICLES: navin 
NORMAN associate editor, 
assistant edilor « FICTION: ROME MACAULEY 
editor, SVANLEY raev asociate editor, 
SUZANNE MC NEAR, WALTER SUBLETT. assistant 
editors + SERVICE FEATURE: ом OWEN 
modern living edilor, ROGER WIDENER assis 
ant editor; ROBERT t. GREYS fashion directo} 
DAMP PLAFT. associate fashion director, WAL: 
TER HOLMES fashion cdilor; THOMAS MARIO 
food & drink editor = CARTOONS: MICHELLE 
URRY editor = COPY: ARLENE MOURNS editor, 
STAN AMBER assistant editor + STAFF: MICHAEL 


LAURENCE, ROBERT J. SHEA, DAVID STEVENS 
senior editors: LAURENCE GONZALES, REG POT- 
TERTON, FRANK M. ROI STANDISH, 


симе VETTER Staff writers: DOUGLAS BAUER, 
NEFSE, CARI 
SNYDEK associate editors; DOUGLAS C. BENSON, 


1. F. O'CONNOR. ARNIE WOLFE assistant 
editors; SUSAN HEISLER, BARRARA NELLIS, 
RAREN PADDERUD, LAURIE SADLER. BERVICE 

ZIMMERMAN research editors: J. PAUL 


тү (business & finance), NAT HeENTOFT, 


JACK J. KESSIE, RICHARD WARREN LEWIS, 
RAY RUSSELL, JEAN SHEPHERD. JONN SKOW. 
BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies), TOMI UNGERER 


ADMINISTRA 
ERICK personnel director: 

administrative editor 
CATHERINE GENOVESE rights & permissions: 
MILDRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant 


contributing editors = 
SERVICES: THEO FRI 


ART 
зм STAEBLER, RERIG rort associate directors: 
WAEL SISSON executive assistant; BOR 
у MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET SUSKE, GOR- 
SEN, FRED NELSON, JOSEPILPACZER, 
ALFRED ZELCER азман direciors: JULAE FILERS, 
VICLOR HUBBARD, GLENN STEWARD анг assistants 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI wesl coast editor; GARY 
HOLLIS WAYNE associate edilo 
technical editor: WALL \RSENAULT 
DON AZUMA, DAVIÐ CHAN, RICHARD VEGLEY, 

T HOOKER, rowrro rosas staff photog- 
raphers: MARIO CASILLL BEINN D. HENNESSEY 
PATRICK LICHFIELD, ALEXAS ORBA contributing 
photographers; 140 & photo tab super 
үйөт: JANICE vERKOWN? chief stylist 


PRODUCTION 
wo director: ALLEN varco man- 
(ORE WAGNER, RITA JOHNSON, MARIA 
MANDIS, RICHARD QUARTAROLL алууга 


READER SERVICE 
CAROLE сили: director 


CIRCULATION 
THOMAS б. WILLIAMS customer service 
лагмоц» subscription mana 
THOMSON newsstand manager 


VINCENT 


ADVERTISING 
mow ann w. LEDERER advertising director 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, 
ROBERT s. weus busines manager and 
associate publisher; RENARD 5. ROSENZWEIG 
executive assistant lo the publisher; vacuno 
м. korr assistant publisher 


For a free recipe book write: Rumsof Puerto 
Rico, Dept. P., 666 Fifth Аме, N.Y., N.Y. 10019 


PUERTO RICAN RUM. 
SOMETHING YOU CAN STAY WITH. 


When cold weather and warm feelings bring you 
close together, drink something that you'll both grow 
close to. Hot Rum and Cider. 

It's adrink you can stay with all winter long, because 
by law Puerto Rican Rum is aged for mellowness. Then 
it's filtered through charcoal for added smoothness. 

All after it's been distilled at high proof for purity. 

Hot Rum and Cider. Just the drink for people 

who are warming up to each other. THE RUMS OF PUERTO RKO 


Pour 1% oz. of light or dark Puerto Rican Rum into a mug. Fill with hot apple cider. stir Garnish with 
four cloves and a slice of lemon il desired. © Commonwealth of Puerto Rico. 


Can you spot 
the Camel Filters smoker? 


Ж 


ton-Salem, 


In this picture every- dingbat. 3. If she's the Camel Filters smoker, the guy with 
body has a gimmick... the beard is Jean Harlow. 4. Gene Harlow. 5. Right! He's 
almost everybody. just himself. And he sees through all the gimmicks. That's 
Try picking the one who why he smokes an honest, no-nonsense cigarette. | 
doesn't go along. Camel Filters. Easy and good tasting. Made from fine 
1. Nope. He's Alfonso Cliggitt, divorce lawyer. Gimmick: tobacco. 6. A. Boswell Farquar. Gimmick: a white { 
far out dress to intimidate the opposition. Smokes (not green) parrot. Hasn't seen a movie (= = 
cigarettes made of dried tundra. 2. Harold A. Baer, гаг in years. They won't let his parrot in. 
book expert. ("Books Old and Rare from Harry Baer Ba. Parrot. Smokes a meerchaum pipe 
Thinks rolling his own makes him look younger. A real but has trouble keeping it lit. CAM E L 


Camel Filters. 
They're not for everybody 


(but they could be for you}. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


20 то. "tar; 1.4 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report AUG72. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


KJ) оос: гїлүвоү MAGAZINE » PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 


ROLLIN VS. REUBEN 
Betty Rollin's Everything Dr. Reuben 

Doesn't Know About Sex (rLavnoy, No- 

vember) is one of the most perceptive 

and truthful exposés I've ever read. I 

congratulate you on your cou 

vision 


Katherine 


As a newlywed wife, I had assumed 
Dr. Reuben's text was gospel. A few 
weeks alter my wedding, I began ex 
periencing orgasm for the first time. Bur 
the doctor's foolproof check of nipple 
erection failed to occur. After a time of 
severe mental upset, during which 1 
doubted myself and my husband's ca- 
pacity to please me. 1 simply decided to 
lorget about the doctor's fa e 
But my doubts didn't disappear 


тела Rollin's fine article. I thank her 
nd PLavnov lor 
ht. 


scuing the record 


me and address 
withheld by request) 


Rol 


is beautiful. 
jon аге 


"s exposé of Reub 
Reuben's reams of mi 
typical of the cighth-gr 
stult this country gets when it demands 
the truth about sex. What's most hypo- 
critical about our society is that E c 
pick up Reuben’s jive 
dime, yet I have to go to 
bookstore to get a copy of Masters and 
Johnson's books. 


lorn 
le locker-room 


Doug Tousignant 
Madison, Wisconsin 
We, too, doubt that accurate and in- 
Jormative sex information can be found 
on the shelves of frve-and-ten stores, but 
you needn't patronize a рото shop to 
locate most works by Masters and John- 
von. If you can't find them, however, you 
can pick up Nat Lehrman's popularized 
version of their research, "Masters and 
Johnson Explained,” by sending 
1o Playboy Press. 


J don't feel the single 
cism lor being unm 
enjoys sexual relations. On the other 
hand, I think Dr. Reuben has a kind 


of gi ating information 
on sex in a quiet and understandable 
way. He has helped thousands of people 


en 


ме proud to run excerpts from 
books in Cosmopolitan. 
Helen Gurley Brown, Editor 
Cosmopolitan 

New York, New York 


"s article pinpoints several seri- 
ous inaccuracies in Dr. Reuben's books 
and effectively challenges the credibility 
nd magisterial tone of his statements 
As a psychology teacher, what struck me 
most about Reub books was Ш 
scientific mode of his evidence gathering. 
In response, Rollin rightly teaches us to 
ma in a healthy skepticism of sell- 
proclaimed sex experts. 
« Friedberg, Instructor 
Department of Psychology 
Brooklyn College 
Brooklyn, New You 
Since publishing Rollin’s article, we 
have learned that we made two factual 
errors concerning Dr. Reuben’s educa- 
tion and training. Our article cited. 
published reports that he had had. psy- 
chiatric training both in the Air Force 
and at Harvard and then went on to 
say that “boih Harvard and the Air 
Force deny that Reuben has even this 
limited amount of training 
In fact, the American Medical Asso. 
ciation has written, in a letter that re 
cently available (o us: “Dr 
Reuben served in the Air Force from 
July 1959 until July 1961 assigned 
Jor fwe months to Strategic Air Com- 
mand Project 1302 at Harvard Medical 
School as a clinical research associate in 
psychiatry.” While in the Air Force, 
Reuben served as chief of psychiatry at 
the Walker Air Force Base Hospital at 
Roswell, New Mexico. The A. M. A. 
letter also states that he completed one 
year of residency in psychiatry al Cook 
County Hospital in Chicago, and that 
the 25th edition of the American Medi 
cal Directory lists him in the cat 
“General Practice in Psychiatry.” 
We regret the errors and would like 
to point out that, unlike most mistakes. 
these were made through an excess of 


un- 


became 


gory 


diligence, rather than a lack of it. 
PLAYHOY's research staff, while che 
the jacis in author Rollin’s article, 


called both the Air Force and Harvard 
to verify Reuben's affiliations. Both in 
stitutions denied. he had had any, and 


PLAYBOY, FEBRUARY, 1973. 
FEARS, $18 FOR TWO TEARS 


FOR FOREIGN POSTAGE. ALLOW 30 DAYS FOR 


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MICHAEL RICH, PROMOTION DIRECTOR: LEE COTTLIES, DIRECTOR CF PUDLIC RELATIONS. AOVERTISING: HOWARD W. LEDERER. 


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SOUTHEASTERN REPRESENTATIVE, FINNIE а BROWN. 10B PIEDMONT HO. N, t. 


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Copyright: 1973, 


(en 


чаш. 
mony Со, AVY nd, laus 73813. 


PLAYBOY 


10 


the article so reported. The reason that 
both replies negative, we have 
since learned, is that duving his student 
days, the doctors name was spelled 
“Rubin” He has since changed the 
spelling for the stated purpose of avoid- 
ing confusion with the well-known 
psychiatrist Theodore Rubin. Neither 
institution, of course, has any records 
for a Dr. David “Reuben.” 


yore 


SUNSHINE PRISONER 
My heart really bleeds for writer Garry 
Wills and those other idiots who got 


locked up (Imprisonment Chic, PLAYBOY, 
November). 1 wonder what Wills and 
his trendy cohorts would think if they 
had to sleep on the floor for weeks or 
even months ata time, or if they had to 
eat the slop served to the other inmates. 
Wills was lucky to get a cup of beef stew 
that was recognizable as such. If he and 
his merry band had really wanted to get 
the feel of imprisonment, they should 
have forfeited their ba their 
high-powered lawyers and the rest and, 
return, shared the beatings and the 
deals and the degradation that prison 
life is all about 


money. 


Mitchell Lippert 
Greenhaven Prison 
Stormville, New York 


the ilitant" W: 
ton action Wills descrilfes. I felt as 
bivalent as he did about my role and the 
demonstration's possible effect. And I 
have yet to talk with anyone there who 
did not feel the same. When Wills wrote 
nationally syndicated column imme- 


ing- 


m- 


diately after the event, it was а rather 
mild but positive statement that con- 
cluded with praise for Dr. Benjamin 


Spock's 
time to mull i 


lass" im jail, Now, with some 
over, he has apparently 


fastened on what he calls the "chic" side 
of the айай. P suppose there was a 
able element of radical chic to 


the event, but Im disappointed that 
Wills chose to make this the focus of the 
demonstration. All of us who were there 
were prominent in our fields; that was 
the announced theme of the event. But 
we dont all cat caviar and 1 still 
know Felicia Bernstein if I 


wouldn't 
aw her 


Daniel D. McCracken 
Ossining. New York 
McCracken is a computer specialist, 
activist and author of “Public Policy 
and the Expert.” 


SAND MAD 

I found David Stevens’ You'll Have to 
Talk Loudey—1 Have Sand in My Ears 
(rtaynoy, November) very amusing. He 
noted that the passengers on the Safa 
were somewhat older than he had ex- 
pected. The sad thing is that the 
younger people whom we'd really like to 


sec aboard our trips seem to have other 
terests. Perhaps one day, Stevens—to- 


gether with a random selection of 
PLAVBoy Bunnies—would join us on a 
trip to Antarctica. 


Lars-Eric Lindblad 
Lindblad Travel, Inc. 
New York, New York 


I've skied the big runs such as Exhi 
tion, Nose Dive, Riva ше and the 
Face of Bell Yet in his article, David 


Stevens classifies me as a 37-ycar-old 
geriatric! I loved it, anyway. His ac 
count of our unforgettable expeditio 


sahara is one of the wittiest 
read lately. It’s accurate, too. 
ry last unfortunate wrong 
turn, cocklebur and glug of Lomotil 
Swangely enough. I really had a great 
time—particularly now that 1 think of it 
from an all-the-comforts-of-home, 3000- 
miles.away vantage point. 

Mary Ellen H 
Gincinuat 


across the 


down 


ces Г 


to ev 


AN END TO ALL THIS 
Sam Blum rcally did 


s morc, he tied it 
accurate, informa 


all together into an 
tive package. 
N. H. Allen 
American Associ; 
Berkeley 


ion of Suicidology 
California 


Blum's article touched my wife and 
me very deeply. since we lost our son, 
Mark, last July. He was brilliant and 
handsome and appeared to have the 
world w; g to give him all he wanted. 
Why he hanged himself, we'll never 
know. There was no note and no prior 
communication to indicate he was un- 
happy. We want to know more about 
the causes of suicide and the organiza- 
tions involved in its study апа preven- 
tion. We want to help if we сап so that 
others may be spared the tragic loss of a 
loved one. In our son's obituary, my 
wife and I requested that in lieu of flow- 
ers, we would accept donations to a 
fund that would bc set up in Mark's 
1 for suicide research. Maybe опе 
day we'll know why he left us. 

Allred J. Archambault, Jr 
Heuniker, New Hampshi 


Suicide is representative of the cur- 
rent opinions and. [acts assembled in the 
field of suicidology. My own work, on 
college-student suicide, 
rately presented, The statements of Dr. 
Thomas Sease regarding the ind 
rights to suicide are well known 


ТЕ 
Тһе 


id. 


much of Szaszs energy in the field I 
been directed at attaching straw men. 
The vast majority of persons who 
‘eaten, attempt or even commit suicide 


е. in fact, not secking death but some 
alternative to an unhappy life, If a help: 
ing person can present them with such 
an alternative—and provide them with 
subsequent feelings of hope—their suicid- 
al behavior can be obviated. 
Dr. Michael L. Peck 
The Institute for Stud 
of Sel-Destructive Bel 
Los Ar 


viors 


Blum failed to emphasize one point of 
importance: Suicide is the sincerest form 
of selicri 


AUTHOR, AUTHOR! 

Craig Vetters The Great American 
Authors Test (PLAYBOY, November) is 
the best piece of humor to appear 
your magazine in some time. 1 happen 
to be one of those dreamers who call 
themselves writers. Vetter is right. In 
your Playbill, he says he took the test 
and couldn't qualify as a writer for The 
Farmer's Almanac. V took the test and it 
told me 1 shouldn't even be writing this 
letter to Dear Playboy. 

5. L. Blumenthal 
Oakridge, Oregon 


ATTACK AND COUNTERATTACK 
By publishing The Army vs. Anthony 
Herbert, your November follow-up ex 
amination of issues raised by your July 
interview with the retired supersoldic 
you have clearly demonstrated jou 
tic courage. Without publications like 
PLaynoy. freedom of the press would be 
other platitude. 
T. W. Rentz 
Oak Harbor, Washi 


ist 


1 cried after reading your follow-up. I 
ied for America. 
Sgt. G. W. Moore 


Huntsville, Alabam 


The saddest thing about your follow 
up report is that it proves that Generals 
Barnes and Sidle are nothing but talk. 
g Army puppets who lie even when 
they're not ordered to. 

D. R. B., U. S. M. C. (Ret) 


Gilroy. Calilor 
Herbert reveals himself as both an 
egotist and а paranoid, To quote from 


defense of h 


an Army newspaper 
Korean. War record is really scraping the 
bottom of the barrel. I've been in the 
Service eight усам, everybody 
knows installation newspapers—and Of 
ficer Efficiency Reports are. 
fraught with exa ion. As far a 
Herbert's polygraph is concerned, I be- 
lieve the phrasing of the report is sus- 
pec. PLAYBOY quotes the polygraph 
report thusly: "Did. you advise Colonel 


and 


ofte: 


Trapping a rhino looked like a cinch 
until someone handed me a lasso" 


sientes oF Canalan Сла WY 


“A bull rhino should wear 
a Do Not Disturb sign. But we had to rope 
and return him to the safety of Kenya's 
Tsavo National Park. The job, we found, 
was like playing tug-of-war with a tank. 


When our renegade came charging out of 
the bush, he caught us with our ropes down. 
But three tosses and twenty jittery 
minutes later, he was really fit to be tied. 


What a temper ! Thelma gave him his 
tranquilizer. And our beast was soon a 
sleeping beauty, Even so, we put him in the 
truck gently. Very gently ! 
LZ Uy 0 


IMPORTERS INC., QETROIT, MICH. 85.8 PROOF. BLENDED CANADIAN WHISKY. © 1972. 


6 YEARS OLD. IMPORTED IN BOTTLE FRON CANADA BY HIRAM WALK 


‘Later at the Voi Safari Lodge we celebrated 
our adventure with Canadian Club,” 
It seems wherever you go, C.C. welcomes 


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7 722. and the polite way it behaves in mixed 
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Imported in bottle from Canada “The Best In The House" in 87 lands. 


PLAYBOY 


12 


in of the killing of Vietnamese 
and “Did you personally re- 
quest General Barnes to conduct а 
investigation?” In the first instance, “ 
n bullshit 
glass of beer. In the second. 
tion” could investigation. All 
of this is really 100 bad, because when I 
read your interview with Herbert, I be- 
lieved he was a champion of reform. 
(Name and address 
withheld. by request) 
Аз а member of the Armed Forces, 
you'd do well to study Military Assist- 
ance Command, Vietnam directive 20-4, 
which was issued “to provide uniform 
procedures for the collecting and per- 
petuation of evidence relative to war 
crimes." The directive orders: “It is the 
responsibility of all military personnel 
having knowledge or receiving a report 
of an incident or of an act thought lo 
be a war crime to make such incident 
known to his commanding officer as soon 
as practicable.” The matter of how a 


g over a 


commanding officer learns of a war 
crime is of no significance. 
Although I with Herbert that 


the Army needs vast changes, 1 would 
like to correct an error. Article 15 of the 
Uniform Code of Military Justice is not 
statute hat deals with “violations not 
punishable by court-martial.” Article 15 
deals with minor violations that may be 
handled without court-martial. 
Capt. Bill L. Seilert, U. S. A. (Ret) 
Nashville, Tennessee 
Captain Seifert is correct. 


WATER, WATE 

Thomas Mario did a superb job in his 
article Water? 
He turned up facts 
even I didn't 


New York. New York 


HUSTLERS? 

Richard Reevess aride оп Hustling 
the Youth Vote (rLavsov, November) 
showed me how the political chiefs 


could possibly olle 
a better 
cal party fei 
The most he 
November election. м 
was hustled. 
Richard Hodge 
Bloo, 


exception: 
her polit 


Perhaps m 


Reeves, usually a fine reporter, seem 
impelled to mar an otherwise good story 
with a few gratuitous blows at the $ 
mon and Wattenberg theories of the 
electorate. L wonder why. Everything we 
said about the youth vote turned out to 
be so. As we predicted, youth voted. in 


lesser proportions than its elders, and it 
did not vote monolithically for the most 
left candidate. Instead, it voted only 
slightly more liberally than its elders. In 
short, we said all the things that Reeves 
cept that we said them two 
у when the journalistic pack 
was still pursuing a phony notion that 
the youth vote” was the electoral story 
of the century. Reeves notes that no 
rious American politician" sided with 
Scammon and Wattenberg. In fact, I be- 
lieve it can. һе demonstrated that, by 


yone but Scammon and V 
on youth or on the other issues we 
researched. In addition, Senator Jackson 
never ran against youth. Nowhere. No 
way. 


Washington, D. C. 


Contrary to what Reeves wrote, I was 
not the youth coordinator of Scoop 
Jackson's campaign. P. aici head- 
ed the Jackson youth program, with sev- 
eral assistants who were all in their early 
20s. I was the national coordinator of 
1 the interest groups, except youth. 
Also, I regret that Reeves chose to tag 
e "Big Daddy." While I fı 
that 1 hay ht problem— 
am wrestling with at the moment—the 
connotation of Big Daddy (à la Cal on a 
Hot Tin Roof) is most unfair. Finally, 
while 1 did not advise Senator. Jackson. 
in his remarks to the Florida State Uni- 
up. I tend to agree with 

Ihe youth of today are OK—not 
better than prior generations nor 
any worse, They just get more press. 

Gerald R. Gereau 
Washington, D. C. 

Reeves replies: “1 have read Scammon 
and Wattenberg’s ‘The Real Majori: 
100 often to dispute fine points of theory 
with Ben Wattenberg the pscphologist 
But Ben Wattenberg the politician? 
Him I might kid a lille. The short 
unhappy campaign of Henry ‘Scoop 
Jackson, even with Wattenbergs guid- 
ance, focused too sharply and. simplisti- 
cally on the *unyoung, unpoor, unblack 
electorate so much so that Jackson 
wound up looking like something less 
than a serious politician, just as John 
Lindsay did by focusing so sharply on 
the Wattenbergian minority—the young, 
poor and black. No way, nowhere will 
anyone convince me that Jackson didn't 
make а conscious decision to тип against 
youth, or, as 1 wrote, ‘against shaggy, 
noisy students, at least in Florida, 
where 1 followed the Jackson campaign 
And as for Jerry “Big Daddy’ Gereau: 
When the article was being researched, 
Jackson headquarters consistently led 
PLAYBOY representatives to believe that 
Gereau was ‘in charge" of youth, even 


versity youth gi 
Aim: 


though young Paul Baicich had the 
title ‘youth coordinator. In an inter- 
view with a pLaysoy slaffer, Gereau 
was quite definite in his assertion that 
Baicich reported to him. Moreover, the 
interview also revealed that Gereau was 
the first to tag himself with the ‘Big 


Daddy’ labi 


Your November inte 
Anderson made me sad. average 
American has been ignored by his Gov- 
ernment to an even greater extent than 
I had previously thought. As Anderson 
documents, even it letter to a Congress 
man gets short shrift. Most representa- 
tives seem to be more worried about 
reelection than about serving their 
constitu 


The 


its. 


Mrs. Francis Scott 
Clarksburg. West Virgi 


with 


Your Anderson w: 

great! n—and publi 

ich as rLAYBOY—most of us would be 
left in the dark. 

Robert L. M 

Citrus Heights, Са 


or 


As a freelance writer interested in the 
inadequacies of our Government, 1 have 


corresponded. freely with Anderson and 
he has always responded to my ques- 
tions in a forthright and сапа 


columnists have remained silent 
4 the courage to face th 
nation via network television and admit 
he was wrong about Senator Eagleton 
To control corruption in Government, 
we need a thousand more Andersons. 
edward Johnson 

Palm Desert, Ca 


Anderson's description of Henry 
ger throwing books in a fit of r: 
is amusing. 1 guess it is logical for a 
scholar to fling books when he is angry 
I only hope Kissinger has the consid- 
eration to throw only books that he him 
ten. 


Joseph Gusky 
Buffalo. New York 


Anderson could serve a much mı 
useful purpose in Congress than behind 
iter. More effective anti-corrup- 
tion could be enacted with 
men like him in public office. 
Stephen A. Kolkmeyer 
Cincinnati, Ohio 


g discoveries are given the 
e they deserve in your interview. 
prejudices are laid bare as well. 
We begin to understand Anderson as 
more than merely a hero or a mounte 
nk; your interrogation reveals that he 
is a human being capable of pettiness 
nd prudery. Previously, it was hard to 


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to believe it. Drive a Datsun... 
then decide. 


PLAYBOY 


4 


: 
H 


с 


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The beautiful new tip: 
It's a completely new 
idea in cigar tips. Slim. 
Comfortable. Easy to 
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Color coordinated. And 
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find the real person behind that aggres- 

sively public figure. I'm glad to see that 

PLAYBOY has discovered him. 
Christopher Dickey 
Hamilton, Ma 


achusetts 


1 do not always agree with Anderson's 
research tactics, but his type of re 
is essential in keeping Govern 
ment honest 


por 


Geoff Moebius 
Maple Heights, Ohio 


On the first. page of your interview, 
Anderson states that Richard Klein 
dienst should be convicted for mal 
e, John Mitchell should be 
Icd" for perjury and Richard Nixon 
can't make up his mind what he w 
Then justifies his misinformation 
about Tom Eagleton by telling us that 
he is only human. I'll never read Ander 
son's column quite the same way ag; 

Christopher Stone 
San Diego, California 


nts. 


ICE CAPADES 

Brock Vatess The Hit Men (rtAvnov 
November) gives longoverdue credit to 
the tough men on the ice. As а fan of 
Bryan “Bugsy” Watson's, one of the 


The National Hockey League is doing 
everything possible to de-emphasize 
fighting in hockey by making the penal 
ties (in both minutes and fine) much 
stiffer. The iceman” in hockey 
doesn't necessarily have to fight. He 
is distinguished by his ability and his 
durability. The Canadian-Russian series 
showed that skill and hard play are still 
the crucial factors in the game 

Bruce A 


Norris. President 
Detroit Red Wings 
Detroit, Mid 


GRAZIE! 

Your October pictorial essay Fellini's 
Кота... Rome's Fellini, by Bruce Wil- 
liamsoi 
whelmed by the intelligence of Fellini's 
remarks. 


is most. provocative. I was over 


Fred Albright 
New York, New York 


Williamson's essay Fellini's Roma . 
Rome's Fellini was very satisfactory and 
entertaining; I thank him warmly. My 
regards and my gratitude are naturally 
extended to PLAYHOY. 


Federico Fellini 
Rome, Italy 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


he real news from President Nixon's 

visit to China has lain dormant for 
one full year. Here follows the text of a 
memo unearthed by the editors of The 
Washington Monthly, whom we e 
thusiastically for a Pulitzer 
Prize in personal hygiene. The date of 
the memo is February 8, 1972. It was 
printed on White House stationery and 
distributed in China to every American 
in the advance party that prepared the 
way for the President's tour. 


nom 


nate 


To: All members of the American 
party 

Subject: Healthcare recommenda- 
tions 


The change of climate of this 
party has been much more severe 
than anticipated. Many of you have 
had colds, coughs and even fairly 
high fevers. We feel that this is pri- 
marily due to unnecessary exposure 
to the deceptively penetrating cold 
weather in this area 

We must, therefore, re-emphasize 
that everyone should be more con- 
cerned with proper dothing for out- 
doors, particularly hats, scarves and 
warm [oot covering. We are grateful 
to our hosts for providing us with 
warm coats and hats. (If you don't 
have these items, ask one of the in- 
terpreters.) т 


ESE MUST BE WORN? 
first. cases 
of “Baboon Syndrome," the rash on 
the buttocks similar to à. poison-ivy 
response. This is due to unnecessary. 
exposure to lacquered toilet seats. 
SIT ON THE PORCELAIN HOWL, NOT ON 
THE LACQUERED TOILET SEAT! 


We have also noted th 


Up against the wall, gourmands: We 


od authority that there's a 


have it on g 


restaurant in North Hollywood called 
Mother Phuca 


We knew it all along: Kenneth J. 
Arrow, a Harvard professor of econom- 
ies, was awarded a Nobel Prize lor his 
Impossibility Theorem and his Theory 
of General Economic Equilibrium. Ac 
cording to a writeup in the Harvard 


Crimson, "Anow's Impossibility Theo- 
rem demonsuates that in principle there 
cannot be a perfect foun of government.” 


Meanwhile, in Champaign. 
Professor John Bardeen. who won a 
Nobel Prize in physics 16 years ago for 
developing the transistor, was late for a 
faculty todo celebrating his receiving 
another Nobel Prize. His transistorized 
garage door refused to open, so he had 
to be driven to the by a colleagu 


Illinois, 


Deciphering the staccato prose of a 
Hollywood gosip column is dificult 
under the best of circumstances; when 


the linotypist. screws. up. the result can 
be heady, indeed. Joyce Haber's syndi- 
cated column, as published in The Aus- 
tin American, informed Texans thusly 
of the prospective appearance of Miti 
Gaynor at Los Angeles music hall: 
“Pretty Mitzi will follow Johnny Carson, 
who's known to be hard to follow. 
(Take head, Joanna Holland Carson!) 

It figures: One of the few newspapers 
to endorse Proposition 19, which, had it 
passed, would have legalized the posses 
sion of marijuana im California. was 
The Weed News, published in Weed, 
California, 


We're fascinated by the news that the 
Salaried Social Club of Reynolds Ме 
Company's Brookfield. Hlinois plant is 
рїнїн а “candlelight blowing party. 


This imaginative— 
tive—lost-md-found ad appeared in the 
Calgary Albertan: “Whoever picked up 
brown cowboy boots in Academy Par- 
kade Tuesilay is invited to call to get in- 
formation on treatment of the rare foot 
disease he now has. 


wd perhaps effec- 


Lenin once wrote that the surest way 
to bring down a government is to del. 
its currency. Sometime last summer, this 
intelligence apparently penetaed the 
top ranks of the U.S. Air Force. Accord- 
ing to the New York Times news service, 

, 


ase 


al months 


there was a period of sev 


when U.S. planes were not only drop- 
ping bombs on North Vicmam, they 
were dropping counterfeit North Vict- 
namesc currency as well. By way of 
explanation, a State Department spokes. 
man said that the funny-money barrage 
was designed "to cause discontent in the 
North Victnamese population over steady 
inflation of the dong,” As if they didn't 
have troubles enough. 


We reported a few months ago the 
sighting, im Chicago, of an illegally 


parked auto, 
windshield pi 


ipparently protected by a 
ard reading MAFIA STAFF 
Now, from the same city, 
comes another sighting 
cle parked quite legally in а high- 
crime neighborhood: ATTENTION, THIEVES: 
THIS CAR IS ALREADY STOLEN. 


CAK ON CALL 


this one of a 


veli 


John Udaka, a Japancse-Americim 
chicken sexer who can separate newborn 
hens [rom roosters at a rate of 1200 an 
hour, revealed some trade secrets in a 
Wall Street Journal imerview. Udaka 
smoke, takes vitamins and cats 
carrots—and engages 
s eye rolling and knuckle cracking. "If 
I don't crack my knuckles,” he says, “I'm 
not moving right with the first few 
chicks." 


doesn't 
in such 


exercises 


We don't know whom they're trying 
to impress, but Parke, Davis & Co. is 


offering its surgeon's gloves in “seven 
bright, beautiful colors": violet, blue, 


grcen, orange, yellow, red and natural. 


The Housto 
its readers into double ог even triple 
takes with this 
on an attempted homicide 
boring town of Lickin 
LICKING WOMAN CHARGED. 


o Missouri, Herald sent 


headline, over a story 
in the ne 


“MAN SHOT, 


Our sympathies go out to 59-year-old 
parcel porter Tommy Mook, who, ac- 
cording to the London Daily Mirror, has 
been reprimanded by officials of the 
Lees and Hey Conservative Club, in 


19 


PLAYBOY 


20 


Lancashire, for giving audible vent to 
flatulence during concerts at the club. 
The Mirror, in a story headlined “пл. 
S TORY CLUB LADIES," quoted 
ing he wasn't the one re- 
sponsible lor the unmus 

nating from the wind s 
letter to club officials, 
mously offered to “w 
cach time I break wi 
a check." 


Mook mag, 
e down on paper 
nd, so you can keep 


We're indebted to the women's. de- 
partment of the Muncie, Ind 


for forwarding this press release: “The 
ladies gol association of the Maple- 
wood Country Club held a ladies 


with five guest clubs partici- 
Their theme was ‘A bird in the 
cup is better than a ball in the bush.” 


The Tootsietoy division of the Strom- 
becker Corporation has installed scat 
belts in its 1973 тоу cars. 

Indisputable sign in a department- 
store furniture display in Toronto: THE 
DIGNELY OF THE BEDCHAMBER 15 ENHANCED 
BY AN OCCASIONAL PIECE 


When we heard that the young man- 
gers of a Laguna Beach restaurant 
named Love Animals, Don't Eat Them 
had been arrested for including a live 
camel and a rooster among the guesis at 
their openingday pany, we decided to 
attend the cial, on the theory that this 
is Southern Californ things 
unt you if you 

y attention to them. A local police ol- 

er, discovering the beasts in the mid- 
dle of the dining room, had advised the 
managers of a statute prohibiting li 
stock in restaurants. The ma 
eplied "We are all on 
lated. their credo to discriminate against 
е animals, especially when dead ones 
re welcome in restaurants. everywhere. 
This legal brief failed to sway the police 
officer, who informed them that the law 
is the law and, in Orange County, 


sometimes even worse than th Then 
he busted them. 
On the day of the tri Ivertised by 


the defendants’ supporters with 10,000 
posters—the press lined up outside the 
courthouse in force. The gypsy-eyed 
vegetarians—about 50 of them—arrived 
with both criminals in tow: the camel, a 
onchumped dromedary named Boney 
Bananas and ıl a Brahma 
named Colonel Sanders, Both were rid- 
ing in the back of a 1961 Cadillac lim- 


ousine whose passenger compartment 
had been carved out to accommodate 
them, Outside the courthous 


up trial unfolded. Boney was charged 
with being alive in a restaurant and 
faced а jury of his peers: two Japanese 

s who found him innocent and 
wonderful and one. A television crew 
terviewed him after the mock proceed- 


ings, and the dromedary distinguished 
himself by trying to eat their mike. 
Inside the courthouse, 19 human 
beings sat in the jury box and pon- 
dered the defendants! arguments, which 
amounted to a plea that people don't 
need to kill in order to cat: that what 
might appear to be a restaurant to some 
cyes was a temple to others; and that 
Boney and the Colonel were, in fact, 
gods. This was all very well, the prose 
cuting attorney told the jury: he would 
be the last person to interfere with some- 
one clse's religion. But, he insisted, 
guna Beach gets a lot of tourists who 
might mistake the temple for a vege- 
tarian smack bar. An unsuspecting cus- 
tomer might order a quick vcgeburger 
and reum to Oklahoma with drome 
dary fever. The jury retired to consider 


ot named 1 Am, a 
dants, sat in a small 
eucalyptus tree, screeching. "Get hi 
and Пу... breeeck. 
But the fun soon went sour. An 
wy animal-conuol officer 


pulled into the parking lot and observed 
nding camel in the back scat of 
busine. He informed the vegetar- 
ns that this was an improper means of 
transporting а camel and cited them for 
inhumane treatment. Then the jury re- 
turned with a verdict of guilty. The 
judge fined the criminals $35 and dis- 
missed the riot cops who had been 
ack room waiting for trou- 
health inspector told the 
group they would henceforth have to 
nets in their restaurant. 
the straw that broke the 
The group turned in its 
vest cense and formally declared 
the establishment a religious templ 
place where worshipers. can 
free and fleshless dinner. commune with 
either а camel or a chicken and find a 
sympathetic ear for tales of police bru- 


camel's back. 


vhile restaurateurs weren 
at d treatment. "After 
in 


prised 
one said 
meat 


ACTS AND 
ENTERTAINMENTS 


For 15 years, the most genuinely infor- 


inal jazz room in New York was the Half 
Note, located in longshoreman country, 
Hudson River on the Lower 


At night, the neighborhood is 
ented except for ominous shadows; 
but inside the Half Note, such. regulars 
as Carmen McRae, the lae Jimmy 
Rushing. aud Al Cohn and Zoot Sims 
would light the nights—for both 
diences and the many music 
made the club a meeting place, Now the 
Half Note has moved to converted car- 
riage house in midtown (119 West 54th 
Sweet, 212-586-5383), across the street 
from that other vintage jazz spa, Jimmy 


n charge are the Canteri 
Mike and Sonn 


nd. as it 
nk and J 
still head this jazzstruck cl 
The new room, se 
a comfortable bar decorated with blow- 


ups of Woody Herman arrangements— 
is not yet as instantly relaxing as the old 
Half Note, but it's getting ther 
the wi 


The 
ers don't 
fing i 
those who 


lighting is subdued, 
1 the musi 
with swinging case 

e been warmi 
Bobby Hacken, Stan Getz. 
and Roy Kral, Dizzy Gill 
course, Al Cohn and Zoot Sims. Since 
the bandstand is expandable (the 
pull out like leaves in a diningroom 

ble). the Half Note is 
York base of Woody Ho 


so the N 


rs band, 


which will work there five or six weeks 
Above the club is another floor, 


а year. 
which the Canterinos may soon turn 
to а piano room. Meanwhile, downstairs. 
the bar opens at four in the afternoon 
and the music starts at 9:30. The dub is 
open Sundays, with the big bands of 


Duke Pearson, Clark Terry 1 Thad 

s / Mel Lewis on p. There is no 
minimum, but there is à music cover 
charge that varies with the price of the 


headliner but so far has averaged 53 
nd $5 on weekends, Of the 
old Half Note, Jimmy Giuflre used to 
зау: "The only way jazz can flourish, can 
breathe, is to leave it alone, let it hap- 
peu. And thats what they allow here. 
At the new Half Note, the Canterinos 
keep allowing that same mellow ambi- 
ance for the musicians and the customers. 


On the opposite coast. another jazz 


stitution has relocated. Almost from its 
inception in 1919, Howard Rumsey was 
responsible for the jazz image of the 
Lighthouse: it was regarded as the incu- 
bator for the mutant sounds that became 
10wn as West Ci 
names such as Chet Baker, Gerry 
Shoriy Rogers. Shelly 
ийге, Bud Shank 
all spent 1 
working in all-star groups with Rum- 
seya bassist and charter. member. of 
Stan Kenton's original big band —ma 
g the Hermo ch night spot 
fornia’s jazz citadel. After 23 у 
pprestrio Rumsey has left the Li 
house and that economically blighted 
ocean city and gone ten miles up the 
coast to the handsomely refurbished pier 
at Redondo Beach, where his club, Con- 
certs By The Sea (after a Filtics Erroll 
Garner album title), has become a re- 
sounding success since opening last 
August. Despite the ornate chandeliers 
and cushy concert-hall carpeting, the 
name of the new club is somewhat m 
leading, since the imimate atmosphere 
(only 200 seats) is more like that of a 
studio recording session. A remarkably 
dynamic quadraphonic sound system 


McCann 


Get away from hot taste. 


Come upto KGDL, with pure menthol; 
for the faste of extra coolness. EE 


Milds 14 mg. “tar,” 1.0 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, 
by FTC methot ings 18 mg. “ter,” 1 .5 mg. nicotine; 
Longs 18 mg. "tar," 1.4 mg. nicotine i "5 
av. par cigarette, FTC Report Aug. 72. Та оона Jun d 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined ТО mg.nicotine шшш 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. Now,lowered tar KGDL Milds 


PLAYBOY 


underscores that [eli 
the foor  reverberating 
dozen rows of theater s 
dies on their arms, which offer unen 
cumbered sight lines to the stage. During 
the first months of operation, that stage 
held such jazz heavyweights as vibra- 
phonist Cal Tjader, guitarists Gabor 
Szabo and Kenny Burrell and trumpeter 
Hugh Masekela. With the alarming de 
mise of local jazz dubs (Shelly's Manne- 


you i 
beneath 


the 
ats, drink cad- 


Hole, a Hollywood landmark, was the 
most recent closing), its little wonder 
that many professional musicians drive 


the 40 [reeway miles from Los Angeles 
10 catch the pleasant sounds and sir in. 
On onc of the nights we visited. amateur 
drummer Bill Cosby joined the 

iving Willie Bobo octet. Concer 
The Sea is located at 
Wharf, Redondo Be 
charg nights 
г. Monday (Dixieland night) 
admission is tree, Wome Imitted 
free on Wednesday. Only drinks 
colle but there are 

restaurants in the area. Doors open at 
8:15 т-м. Four shows nightly. beginning 
at 9:15, onedrink minimum per set. No 
credit curds. Telephone: 215-379-1998, 


100 Fisherman's 


0 Friday 


are served, seven 


BOOKS 


It was only a matter of time before the 
aging attitudes toward sex in the 
ties were translated into new ways of 
hy individuals dete 
ir sexu npulses from—as 
the dead hand of the past. 
and 


mined to lib- 


crate 
they saw it 


Young. and not so young, men 
women are penetrating previously for- 
bidden territory. Some are seeking to 


escape a sense ol being aliens in comem- 
porary society. Others, using cur 
testing the limits of their 
to function in a twilight zone 
where orgies, incest and 
sadomasochism are considered as natural 
as heterosexual. intercourse. ‘These дароо 
breakers represent a tiny fraction of the 
toal population. but they tend to 
whoop it up—and the attention they've 
been getting from (t ading public 
t there in normal land suggests thi 
lot of people are still searching for an- 
swers to questions that Dr. Reuben 
doesn’t dream of. Unfortunately, read 
are vulnerable ло lies and hallaruths, 
When a husband. and a wife find their 
sexual relationship sagging. can 
blame them for wanting to believe th 
if only they could permit cach other to 
have intercourse with anyone desirable, 
even to watch each other swing, the 
would find their own sex lie revital- 
ed? Who cin prove otherwise—without 
first trying? Especially when confronted 
by hallelujah testimonials such as those 
in The Sex-Lile Letters (Tarcher), edited 
by Harold and Ruth Greenwald. The 
letter writers, who may or may not be 


sity as 


a compass, 


Capacities 
of morality 


real people, sing the р 
ranging from whippings to uri 
cach other. No trick is missed except 
corpse copulation, Somewhat more re 

sponsible is The Civilized Couple's Guide to 
Extramarital Adventure (Wyden), by Albert 
Ellis, the supersalesman of sex. Ellis takes 
a coolly rational approach. Instead of ex- 
ing couples onward, upward and in 
ps asking: Why noti—and 
s to argue all objections, to his 
ох faction, at least, out of existence, 
Ellis doesn't acknowledge the fact that 
mere mortals cannot by an act of will 
transform sexual intercourse into a tran: 

tion fundamentally indisii 
from verbal intercourse, and h 
ustrate hi ms with one-dimen: 
al case histories. Still he does go to the 
trouble of specifying unhealthy reasons 
for extra l affairs; he does make a 
case for the avoidance of lying 
and for acceptance of a mutual extra- 
marital policy; amd he docs conclude 
how chapter on “How to Be Hap- 
pily Monogamous in a Nonmonogamou 

World." Whereas Ellis writes 
subject. impersonally, Jolin 
Lobell write as personally 
John and i (St. Martin's) is a graphic 
documenting of sexual activities with 
asored companions—the working out 
ol free marriage.” "The two write 
alternate chapters. giving erotically de- 
tailed accounts of incidents that once 
upon a time were left to Henry Miller 
In all of John and Mimi there is no 
grief, pain nor even unhappiness, except 
on the most superfici The Lobells 
are not only evangelistic but also ex- 
hibiionisticCand so the pleasure they 
get out of performing sexually in public 
may have different consequi at- 
tempted by individuals who аге more 
sensitive, reflective, private. Such. people 
will find Combat in the Erogenous Zone 
(Knopf). by Ingrid Bengis. more percep- 
tive. It is a profoundly subjective recol- 
lection of a woman who fights to 
II gene . who insists that she ca 
report only what she herself has exper 
enced and thought—and vet produces 
more truth about the sexual experience 
than all the previously mentioned books 
put together. Bengis moves about freely 
in the sexual world and she reports back 


hor 


bout the 
wl Mimi 
s posible. 


aces if 


void 


with integrity, chronicling alb she has 
learned. of what is required for one hu- 
man being to respond sexually to another. 


mi Lobell would do well to 
tonished to 
roughly the 


John and М 
read her; they might he 
find that although she is 
same age they are, she manages to un 
derst 1 struggling 
to come to terms with her urge 10 love/ 
hate men, to love women and not lose 
her capacity 10 love men, Bengis offers 


nd so much more. St 


much that is useful to the men and 
women of the Seventies who are crossing 


the sexual frontier into а wilderness that 
promises a rich harvest—to those who 
survive. She has learned that even in the 


wilderness, the sun rises in the east and 
sets in the west; human nature, too, h: 
its 


Can a novel be both beautiful and 
horrifying, enchanting in its tone. and 
rhythm yet appalling, even physically 

ausearing in its events and subject mac 
rench writer André Schwarz Bart's 
novel about the African slave trade in 
the ТАТ Century, A Woman Named Soli- 
tude (Atheneum), settles that question 
once and for all—in the alhirmativc. 
Schwarz-Barr's first novel, The Last of 
the Just. was one ol the most powerlul 
works of fiction to come out of the exp 
rience of pean Jews in the deadly 
Nazi wap. Now he has turned his great 
for imaginative sympathy to the 
plight of the Africans who were tor 
from their native soil and forced to 
work as slaves on the plantations of the 
New World. Countless books have bee 
ien on the subject by both black 
and white autho: but Schwarz-Bart's 
novel performs the amazing feat—espe- 


ter? 


cially lor a white man—of taking us into 
and 


hem of the African world 
showing us the delicate yet strc 
ture thar was destroyed: by the slave 
waders. Two black women stand at the 
«enter of his novel, and both embody 
this culture in its most poignant form 
that is. as a network of beliefs and riti 
als that tied the Mrican to his land and 
to nature and could be shattered only at 
the exp as a human 


use of his wholene: 


being. Schwarz-Bart has drenched his 
prose in the tastes, smells, emotion: 
symbols and magical events that pri 


duced the African and then, under the 
magic impact of the slave trade, forced 
tence. As we 
in his native 


to live а maimed 
Team what the African w 
land. we can begin to comprehend the 
extent of the human harm that was 
done him. Like all nue works of art, 
Schwarz-Bart's book suddenly opens new 
perspectives on an old problem and, m 

culously. it docs this without a single 
word of overt interpretation or expli 
cat ic put it 
Schwarz-Ban doesn't simply tell ih 
sullers it, and each 
а bloody tear 
wrenched from his own entrails. A good 
part of the credit for this wonderfully 
vivid book must go to translator. Ralph 
Manheim, who managed (0 preserve 
every delicate nuance and all the shi 


As one French cri 


lives it, 


mering color of the orig 
Animal. 


Eliot  Monsow's Sociol 


(Viking), a smog 


The 


sbord of recent. ex. 


periments conducted by. social. psycholo- 
gists, touches on intriguing question 


Why do people conform to social pres 
sure? What circumstances stop them 
from helping someone who is obviously 
in trouble? How gression be 
changed to cooperation? What are the 


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HISTORY OF THE 
AMERICAN PEOPLE 
hy SAMUEL ELIOT 
MORISON 
Tilcstrated 

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351. INSIDE THE 
THIRD REICH 
Memoirs by 

Albert Speer 
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378. SEX IN HUMAN 
Loving 


ERIE BERNE, мр 
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244. THE NEW YORK 
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316. THE DEATH OF 
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JOHN JEROME 
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344. WHO WILL GET 
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311. THE MAN WHD 
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25 


PLAYBOY 


factors that feed prejudice—and, on the 
other hand, what makes one person like 
nother? Aronson, di 
chology at the Uni 
Austin s no attempt to give final 
5 experiments 
ll segments of 
па behavior. The 

in the book 


chologis Leon Festinger. This theory 
holds that when we e two contradic- 
tory ideas, attitudes or beliefs, the con- 
tradiction is resolved by bending one to 
conform to the other so that we can feel 
comfortable, Thus, man is not a rational 
he rationalizing animal, 
ted not so much to be right [but] 
to believe that he is right." Among other 
consequences, this leads to the justifica- 
as Aronson demon: es 
оГ distressing experi- 
ments. The higher an individual's self- 
esteem, it appears, the more likely he is 
to disparage someone he thinks he has 
hurt, reasoning that “because nice guys 
like me don't go a hurting inno- 
cent people. you must have deserved 
every nasty thing 1 did to you.” The 4 
cial Animal raises more questions th 
it answers—but that's a plus, not a 


1 


minus. If Aronson slips at the end 
imo giving sensitivity training an en- 
dorsement that seems more optimistic 


than the evidence would support. it can 
be chalked up to the fact that, as a social 
psychologist. he is an empiricist—but as 
philosopher, he is a humanist. And hu- 
ts have a way of hoping lor the 


nember the old Irwi 
Shaw may be surprised thar the idealistic 
body puncher of Sailor aff the Bremen 
and Act of Faith can be as light and 
tiule too light, but 
as he is in his new 
God Was Here but He Left Eorly 
(Arbor House). The funniest of these five 
Whispers in Bedlam, a novella 
first published in PLaynoy, in which 
pound middling middie linebacker finds 
himself with a dimming left car. Hugo 
Pleiss is a nice guy, but his football t 
X bobbles along f п to sca 
1 surgery gives him superhearing to 
i sow he can hi 
the other team discuss plays 1 
Opposing players and 
goodies Пу imo Hugo's huge 
arms. Can such a gift be anything but 
welcome? Yes, it can, as Shaw funnily 
demonstrates. Shaw demonstrates. m: 
things in this collection. А foolish 
woman is made pregnant at a ski resort 
by a handsome but indifferent French- 
man, and she secks help from people 
whose heads are haunted by visions of 
burning Vi nese villages. The juxta- 
position of folly and tragedy cuts deep; 


Readers who r 


i sc; 


onc could wish that the book 
somewhat. more of that quality. Stil 
amazing what mileage the master 
get out of whatever he touches. 

It sounds like а comic premise: the hi 
jacking of a New York City subway 
train. But John Godey suspensefully 
plays it for real in The Toking cf Pelhom One 
Two Three (Putnam). This “underground” 
thriller hay already achieved move than 
token success: Book of-the Month and 
Reader's Digest Condensed Book Club se- 
lection, a $175.000 movie deal, а $500,000 
paperback sale. The novel's heroes—or 
antiheroes—seem almost modest by to- 
day's standards as they ask for $1,000,000 
ransom, but the step-by-step impleme 
tation of their plot is ingenious and 
the technical details of subway operation 
and ambiance seem authentic down to 
the last graffiti scrawl. Not so the charac 
ters, unfortunately. From the hijacki 


cking 
four (a soldier-of-fortune psychopath, an 
expelled mafioso, discharged motor- 
man, nsel) to the hostage passengers 
{an off-duty cop. a drama critic, a black 
overahe-hill hooker), a 
re stereotypes. But then, much 
jepth do you want from a thriller—even 
one that runs below street level? 

J. С. Ballard’s novel love & Napalm; 
Export U.S. A. (Grove) is the kind of book 
that must be worked at rather than 
simply read. And then, after you're all 
through sweating and straining, and 
you've figured out that the hero, 
seems to be having a colossal nervous 
breakdown with almost cosmological im- 
plications, has been capriciously r 
named every four or five pages by the 
author, that a good number ol the epi 
sodes have absolutely nothing to do with 
the hero, his plight or anythi 
that the book's obscui 
mental smog—is there just 10 irritate 
you or, worse. to produce an appear 


nationalist, 


how 


who 


ance of profundity, what have you 
got? A simple-minded idea that every- 
thing violent in American Life from auto 


accidents to muggings. political assassi- 
nation and the bombing of Vi 
really an expression of the sexual repre 
sion that seethes but ап inch below a 
those int hines, superhighwa 
airports and sex lives that litter th 
thor's pages. Which is to say, 
Nader really gets oll on four-c 
sions. I's the sort of idea that, once 
bluntly stated. would float away like the 
vapor ove ge dump—so Ballard 
is carelul to 5 s own partic 
шаг brand of qua nprehensible 
prose, tricked out with a vocabulary that 
sounds like the result of a punitive ex- 
jon into the land of technical dic 
g with clecronics and 
ending with mathematical physics, It 
seems that two other American. publish 
ers were supposed to publish this murky 
effort but backed out alter 


consulting 


with their lawyers—which only goes to 
show that lawyers can be better judges 
of literary horseflesh than the people 
who are paid to do the job. But nobody 
will be shocked, enlightened or moved 
to a libel suit by Ballard's soporific 
. How he managed to mix up sex 
and violence, pseudo profundity and 
pseudo science into such a crashingly 
boring mishmash is one of those mys 
teries that, like everything about this 
item, is not worth going into. 

On paper as in person, Romain Gary 
lawyer, linguist, fighter pilot, diplo- 
mat, novelist, film maker—seems ready 
for turned his fine 
. The Gesp (Putnam) 
ise: What could 
happen if scientists found a way to cap- 
une the energy we all release with our 
final gasp? (СЇ. Einstein on matter and 
energy.) A trio of French physicists, led 
by brilliant, flamboyant young Mathieu, 
devises a portable "gasper" that will im- 
prison this energy anywhere within 150 
feet of a death rate, Tis potency is al- 
most infinite—one gasp could power а 
nation’s entire industry. At first they 
jus play with it to make cigarette 
glers that will burn forever and to run 
their Citroën (nicknamed Albert after 
their dipso chauffeur, whose gasp they 
caught when he died of the d.ts). Of 
there's some leakage, and the lab 
often echoes with Beethoven or acid rock 


or the sounds of the sex act, depending 
on what was on whose moribund mind 
а ate instant. Mathieu, show- 
is mistress—whose body might 
have been molded by Rodin but whose 
mind was molded by her native Texas 
brings home one of the gadgets. She's 
convinced. he's ling people's souls" 
and starts spending more time in church 


than im bed. But thars only the be- 
ginning. Mathieu, an idealist to whom 


technology is the asshole of science,” 
informs all the big powers of hi 
through, hoping to avert a supernuclcar 
arms race. Here М. Gary shifts. gears. 
nd a delightful. divertissement becomes 
n unwieldy Strangeloveian satire, 
capped by an action. climax that, if yon 
y with it, will pull you out of your 
r. The trouble is, Gary lets his intel- 


c 


ka sabotage his story thrust, and 
though individual episodes show great 

agination, political insight and sar 
donic bite, the drama is dissipated 


Merde, alors! 


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PLAYBOY 


28 


Maria Schneider in Last Tengo in Paris, 
a powerful drama (for a preview, sec 
PLAYBOY'S esclusive pictorial in this 
issuc) by Italian writer-director Ber- 
nardo Bertoluc er of The Com 
formist. Everything about Last Tango is 
first-dass and as far removed from the 
nether world of pornography as the art 
of Francis Bacon, whose portraits ob- 
viously inspired the film's sculptured 
intensity and gave a stylistic key to Ber 
tolucci and cinematographer Vittorio 
Storaro, Unless Italian censors take scis- 
sors to the celluloid before it's approved 
Tor export. the language spoken and the 
xual acts portrayed constitute а signifi- 
cant breakthrough in commercial films, 
particularly those featuring stars of 
Brando's magnitude. Some admirers of 
Marlon may be taken aback by his role 
here, though the part he plays—and 
plays brilliandy—fits him like nothing 
he has done Brando is decph 
convincing as Paul, a middle-aged Ame 
сап in Pa whose tei 
begins to collapse after his wife's suicide. 
Sull in shock, he walks the streets, se 
n apartment. for rent and meets 
ductive young while look- 
the place over. On impulse, he rips 
olf her underclothes and makes love to 
and the odd- 
balling couple won conclude a str 
pact. They will have a completely phy 
cal relationship, no names given, no 
questions asked or answered. Thus. Ber- 
loluc sets out 10 explore possibilities 
have occurred, if only subcon. 
sciously, to everyone ever driven to de 
r by conve 
final morality of Last Tango is its 
discovery that forsexouly proves in 
sufficient both for the man, who rcv 
his need for love in a hysterical outburst 
of passion and profanity beside his dead 
wife's coffin (a scene. guaranteed. to ban- 
ny shadow of doubt about Brando's 
1 for the girl. who 


pefo: 


her, in si 


ading position 


3 


built 
Bertolucci’s self-indulgence in 


dass values. A case might be 


aginst 


her young hancé (Jean-Pierre 
п ebullient film maker and so 
which to hi 


anal intercourse word 
wd bedtime E encountered 
only in the liveliest beds. Bertolucci is 
never vulgar by any standard that 
implies low aspirations or 
sire to shock. At times, in 
makes love with his clothes on, 


spite genital 


games 


when 
common sense would seem to demand 


that he join Maria tou пи. Last 
Tango is nonetheless a brave, outra- 
geous, risky and exemplary film that 
shatters precedent while straining just a 
bit to achieve waged 


The chill fi 
Assassination of Trotsky 
tire picture. when Al 


moments of The 
nost save the en- 
n Delon the 


halfcrazed killer is asked, "Who are 
you?” After a pause, he replies simply, 
“1 killed Trosky,” as if hat alone de- 
ed his theretofore meaningless exist- 
ence. The scene works beca 
like Oswald and 
through recent histo 
жаз a mysterious n 


st 
Trotsky's 
n named Jacson, or 
‘Jackson—sometimes Jacques Mornard 
—who wooed a female disciple of 
Trotsky’s in order to gain access to the 
famous exiles heavily guarded Mex 
villa, and finished the job by plunging a 
pickax into h 
1910. Though expe 
about certain esent 
(some believe the assassin now resides in 
the Soviet Union. ing whateve 
benefits may have accrued to the slayer 
of Stalin's archenemy). it is a fascinating 
tale, told rather woodenly for the most 
part by director Joseph Losey 
1 Nicholas Mosley. Delon 
Schneider. as his gullible 
dominate the mo 
giving a measured регі 
tide role. is hamstrun, 
"The truth, Sheldon 


paramour 
ie; Richard Burton, 


mance in the 
by dialog like 
. . they с 


silence that!” Trotsky’s uncertain. mix 
ture of death-in-the-alternoon_ poesy 
violent political drama really coi 


when Losey cuts away-—and ам: 


corrida to show us 
dismemberment of 
то 


brave 


Such 
sm reduces the complex. tragedy of 
‘Trotsky to bull, 


toros. 


Atlantic City in winter light. exposed 


10 maximum effect by cinematographer 
Lazlo Kovacs, is the setting for The King 
ef Marvin Gardens, a down. he h 


dram: 


the re 


pout ionship of two 


The 
ick Nichol- 
logist who 


younger brother. pl 
son, is а late-night 
talks our his in 
gua 
brother, played by Bruce Dern. is 
erdo-well co nting lor 
black mobsters ying to Ыш his 
way through one more big deal— 
scheme to fina 
coral atoll near Hawaii, The siblings 
meet in a dreary horel t0 work out that 
drea 


ce a resort paradise on 


on in the 


y proposi 


company 
mother 
ely by 


disconsolate whores 
stepdaughter (played respec 


Ellen Burstyn and Julia Anne Robin- 


two 


. îs rather more 
ап a game of Monopoly 
Gardens . . . Boardwalk . . . 


atic City—you remember), thou 
possibly a bit less complicated. than the 
movie tries to pretend. Scenarist Jacob 
a (former Esquire film critic) 
ducerdirector Bob Ralelson 
y Pieces) collaborated on 
story that affects literary airs 
conscientiously shuns simplicity 
there is an opportunity to be 


elliptical, symbolic or prete 
son guides Nicholson through hi 
absolutely dull acting job and lets Dern 
become pushy and abrasive in a role 
that cries for at least a modicum of 
sleazy charm. Even the windy vistas of 
Adantic City grow tiresome after a 
while, when the sad significance of an 
outofscason carnival town is pushed at 
us for perhaps the 20th. time 
Anthony Perkins, Stacy 
Gardner, 
ck bea 
roles to 


Tab Hunter, 
Keach, Jacqueline Bisset, 
director John Huston 
named Bruno play supporting 
Paul Newman in The Life end 
Judge Roy Bean, а Western so 
sportive that a moviegoer is apt 
the actors made it up between scenes 
Though based on dubious legends about 
frontier character know 
the hanging judge, Roy Bean hay all 
the carmarks of a Huston prank in the 
vein of Beat the Devil. If light, ошта 
geous humor were Huston's natural ele- 
ment. he would probably have chosen 
someone other than Newman to play 
the tile role. for Newman is still too 
conscious of his own glamor to be en- 


tirely convincing as а rtunchy, head- 
strong old bastard. Bean enters as a 
reformed bank robber who kills off an 


ire town because “they were bad men 
and the whores weren't ladies." then pro- 
ceeds to make it over according to his 
own image of law and order, which 
means hanging just about anyone he 
docsu't like. He calls his town Langtry as 
a wibure to Lily Langtry, a theatrical 
idol he has never seen in penon (por 
wayed by Ava Gardner in a wistful epi 
log. А the mé 
that never quite jell imo a coherent 
whole. there is some passing fun about a 
pet bear that drinks beer, a splashy 
comic turn by Keach as an : 
stinger who loudly calls himself Bad Bob 
and а nice debut by newcomer Victoria 


ong ge of episodes 


h pure and simple amor on her 
Bur in general Roy Bean is 
wwedly frivolous without being now 
bly funny, 


Half a dozen talented black actresses 
ke Black Girl pe nt cour 
temporary drama and a rousing good 
skly directed by Osie Davis 
enplay by J. E. Franklin. the 

the stagy exposition that 
identifies its origin in Ms. Franklin's off. 
Broadway hit, but the staginess doesn't 
matter much after а while. Black Gil is 
filled with the emotional electricity that 
crackles through a houseful of women 
Southern small-town 


beth a 


olk have become 
and bigtown hustlers, 
dropping in from time to time when 


Think Silva Thins 100’s. They have 
less "tar" than most Kings, 100's, 
menthols, non-filters: 


Menthol too. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


“According to the latest U.S. Government figures. Filter and Menthol: 16 mg. "tar", 1.1 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report August, 72. 


PLAYBOY 


30 


they get hold of some extra bread. Brock 
Peters plays the absent daddy-o in this 
particular household. and his регі 
ance adds surface glitter to tl 
compassionate, funny and fiercely realis- 
lic portrait of а spunky teenage girl 
struggling to break the ties that. bind 
her family to hopelessness. In the title 
role as Billie Jean—who dreams of be- 
coming a dancer but has dropped out of 
high school because a teacher hurt her 
feclings—movie newcomer 
makes angry adolescent rel 
like the beginning of awareness. Equally 
elective are three recruits from the ori 
nal stage company—Lorctta Greene and 
Gloria Edwards as t of homely 
half sisters who hate to see anybody suc 
ceed where they have failed. and Louie 
Stubbs as Mama Rosi dy whose 
firm resolve 10 see one or two of her 
wayward progeny get educated makes 
her hard as a clenched fist. Singer Les- 
ims. in а relatively minor but 
role as a foster daughter home 
from college, and magnificent Claudia 
McNeil as the venerable grandma whose 
beau shares her bedroom, just 

wrap it up for Black Girl as а woi 
picture with heart а 


pout 


id soul o spare. 


V fine, funky little movie called Poy- 
doy charts the Kist day or two in the life 
of a comnuyand-westem singing star 
whose chaulleur-driven: Cadillac whips 

sh the Southland on a barn- 
tour, As Maury Daun, Rip 
‘Torn has his best screen role to date and 
performs it with furious conviction, 
whether singing (words and music mostly 
by maynoy's Shel Silverstein). swear- 
ing or “hauling ass” down the open 
road. Iu the brief but erratic trajectory 
described by the film, he commits van- 
dalim against his former wife's home, 
puffs grass. pays off a d.j., kills a man in 
anger and leaves a Hunky to take the 
rap. picks up a hicktown chick (Elayne 
veil) and mounts her in the hack 
of the Caddy while his reguku bimbo 
Capri. a sexpot who can act as 
s simmer) pretends to be asleep. 
mbon director Daryl Duke 
tion in Alabama 
and obviously felt at home amid the clut- 
ter of roadside honky-tonks and stream- 
lined motels that are built to be seedy 
while still brand-new. Small, jagged I 


Canadi 
filmed Payday on loc 


throwing beer boules out a car window 
at BO miles an hour: That's Payday. 


Leurving members of the Ken 
Russell cult should find a lot to cherish 
(or defend) in  Sevege Mesiah opus 
number five from th жата British 
film maker 


havoc with the 
young French sculpt 
Brzeska. and Sophi 


Henri Gaudicr 


Polish 


Brzeska, 


woman almost. tice his 
her ame with him, lived with him. 
starved with him, yet managed to keep 
the relationship heatedly Platonic until 
he died a hero in World War One. Two 
superb actors star in the principal roles: 
Movie newcomer Scott Antony bristles 


ge who shared 


with promise as the lunging, frenetic 
Henri, and British stage маг Dorothy 
Tutin—one of the best actresses any- 


films 


where, 


though seldom sc 
es the halb mad Sophie one of the 
more memorable eccentrics in screen his 
1 don't like sex." she declares in a 
dusky tone of disgust that implies she 
has simply had her fill of it, every way 
imaginable. One long rambling mouolo; 
by Mis Twin is a psychod: that 
towers above the rest of the movie as 

stunning tour de force. Where are 
brave, beautiful young men of vestervear? 
That's the question posed. by Savage 
Messiah, and Russell answers: The best 
are dead. Behind the bombastic bi 
liance of his cinematic style, however, 
lurks a hint of hollow pretense. He fills 
screen with striking images but 
t times to be making a mighty 
fuss over Iwo poor creatures whose pa 
sion for beauty may amount to litle 
more than certifiable hmacy. The secret 
of Russell's success appears to be that 
his wildest excesses are seldom predict 
ble. and here he tops them all with tl 
st provocative scene since the wre 
tling match of Women in Love—te 
g statuesque Helen 
istocrat named Gosh Boyle, who shows 
a gentleman caller through the Emily 
manse without a stitch, and with the 
English cool of a duchess conducting a 
houseand-garden tour 


ama 


the 


seems, 


Inte al superstar Charles Bron- 
son plays а cryptic professional assassin 
The Mechonic, а title presumably di 
rived from the jargon of criminals in 


this specialized line of work, "Murder is 
only killing without a license.” he says 
as he begins to teach the wicks of his 
trade 10 а cool lad whose father (played 
by Keenan Wynn) was a lon 
friend and recent victim. Cast as the 

is young Jan-Michael Vincent, one of 


Hollywood's well-chiseled new face 
Bronson and Vincent carry out severa 
contracts together in the course of The 
Mechanic, which was filmed on locuion 
in the Los Angeles area and is packed 
full of killing, Karate and chase sequences 
including one kes that 
y to the utmost but keeps 
the film's balance of terror intact. Our 
antiheroes turn out to be mec 
caught in a completely predictable plot. 
Wind them up and. they destroy each 
other—with maximum efficieucy 


on motor 


strains credu 


nical mei 


Jan-Michael Vincent reappears wear- 
ing а boyish grin and a Ioincloth as The 
World's Greatest Athlete, an above-average 


potboiler [rom the Disney studios. There's 


lion's 
share of the hero's affection from sex 
kitten Dayle Haddon, debuting 
coed hired tw tutor. Jan-Micl 


ogy. Vincent plays a teen 

whose running, jumping, pitching and 
ckling are noted by a рай of cow 
college coaches (Tim ad John 


Amos) on a trek into darkest: Africa ¢ 
afari, In Vincent they see all the poren- 
tial for a one-man varsity, woo him aw 
from his godfather the witch doctor 
(Roscoe Lee Browne) and hurry home to 
register their prodigy in the treshm: 
das. Everything that happens thercalter 
is us d 


pious as a pie in the face but 
sublimely silly at times, thanks to the 
situations and gags concocted by writers 


па Dee C: 

Tranquilizing drugs and shock therapy 
spell doom for the heroine of Wednesday's 
Child, а tortured girl from the English 
working Classes who becomes a clinical 
model of incurable schizophre ia by the 


3erald Gardner 


uso. 


time family, friends and professional 
psychiatrists have done all they to 
help her. Based on a BBC television play 
by David Mercer and directed by Ken 
Loach in the 

mentary case | 

Jan is u 


becoming ste victim ol 
сй society's ] mercy 
srmer fashion model Sandy Rutelill, who 
resembles Dominique Sanda after а week 
in Bedlam, rises to all the demands of lier 
first important. role e silled 
in an avid emotional cl 
young cither 
away. Be а good girl: do as you're told 
don't embarrass us. These are the 
set forth by a pair of nice, horribly 
e parents who force their da 
undergo an abortion, scold her for having 
nervous breakdown on a public con 
veyuxe and at last sec to it that she's 
put away to be properly punished. There 
is chilling wuth in every frame of film 
ıd Loach's skill with 
nonprofessional actors is demons 
Grace Cave, a doughty English housewite 
whose wellme: vindictive, subtly 
monstrous mother makes most. previous 
movie villains look like cream pulls. 


creatu 
e where the 


Tor their lives or wither 


ced. or 


ie 


expe 
ated by 


The arch musical charade know 
1776 was Broadways peace oller 
niddle-American audi 
al by such outrageous entertai 
Oh! Calcutta! and Най. The 
version, with most of the original 
has everything it takes to 
ient of. D.A-R. grandames tit 
tering over their teacups. There's that 
old scalawag Ben Franklin (Howard Da 
Silva) nursing his gout and spouting 
maxims too racy Роот Richard's 


ces who were 


for 


Aln 
(Willi 


There's testy 
m Daniels), who 


na John 


omas Jefferson (Ken 
‚ а founding-Lather-to-be who 
ot beget the Declaration of Inde- 
pendence ший he has fiddled his fiddle 


is so symmetrically f 
eras that 


med for the cam- 
1776 seems deadest when it 


as though 
one and everything in it had been 
quick-trozen tor posterity 


his debut as a director i 


role, which puts the 
position at the outset. 


Scott's bur blunt direction 


earnest 
avoids gratuitous flourishes to concen- 


trate on of ecological horror story 
about a Wyoming rancher and his son 
who camp out with the herd one night 
and wake up next mon 
At lea 
His son ds sem 


livestock. dead. 


the f. 


her wakes 
nd at 
I Scott finds everyone 


'onscious. 


unwilling or un 
Doctors. heall 


acres of grazing land came t0 be sprayed 
With a mysterious substance ku 


МХЗ. А topsceret nerve 
Doomed 


imself. though he doesn’t r 
first 
answer of sorts when he finds his son's 
body on a slab in the hospital morgue. 
in actor like Scott at hand, such a 
scene generates. considerable emotion 
force but also marks Rage's decline imo 
ng melo One can [eel 
sympathy for the hero even 
"s transformed into a murderous 
orgy of viol 
effectiv 
an insensitive bureaue 
that prefers to bury its mistakes. 


the rancher unceve 


m's 


abour 


RECORDINGS 


Bonnie Raitt has that rare Kind of 
voice that is elegant but still projects 
soul. Her first album showed promise 
period. Her new one, with backing by 
excellent Woodstock music 
рено Michael Cuscu 
produced Give I Up (Warner Bros), 
t Bonnie has 
thing (rom 
poppish b 
The title 
item, а bar uptempo country 
blues with steel guitars, works the Dixie. 
land vein, as does You Got to Know 


some is. 


shows. 


nce. 


and ivs to his credit ( 


NO MULES ARE SOLD in Lynchburg anymore. 
But some equally stubborn critters still make whiskey 
in Jack Danicl's Hollow. 


sf, You sce, we make whiskey the same way 
/* Jack Daniel did. And we're just stubborn 
y enough not to change. That calls for fine 
grain, iton-free 
water from our 
own Lynchburg 
spring and smoothing every 
drop by charcoal mellowing 
before aging. There might 

be an easier way of making 
whiskey, but we don't know 
of one that’s any better. A sip, 
we believe, and you'll be pleased 
with our refusal со change. 


CHARCOAL 
MELLOWED 


BY DROP 


TENNESSEE WHISKEY - 90 PROOF © 1972, Jack Daniel Distillery. Lem Motiow, Prop.. Inc. 
DISTILLED AND BOTTLED BY JACK DANIEL DISTILLERY + LYNCHBURG (POP. 361), TENNESSEE 31 


PLAYBOY 


3 


ics reflect the. no-bullshit 
nd love that Bonnie seems 
ric К: John Hall, Many 
Grebb and John Payne are among the 
many talented people who helped out 
here, but Bonnie put it all together and 
's her album. 


How, whose 1 
view of sex 


to favor- 


Ray Davies and the crazy Kinks have 
come up with an ultimate statement 
bout the dumb, demeaning, debilitat 
ing life of the pop star. Everybody's in 
Show-Bix (RCA) is a double album that 
demonstrates this in two ways. The first 
disc, done in the studio, is explicitly cyni- 
cal about the business of touring and 
performing in America—the god-awful 
food, the turnpikes, the hotel rooms and 
especially the audience demands (Look 
a Liltle on the Sunny Side)—or the fan- 
tasy life of a Hollywood that makes 
everyone a star (Celluloid Heroes). Da 
vies the songwrit never been more 
direct. The second disc is a concert re- 
cording, showbiz in action, typically 

rd rock and musichall buffoon- 
is life onstage and, for Ray, at 
а, it’s full of ambivalence. The rock 
‚ the ringmaster of 
ind. yet he's 
g a hell of a good time. 


h bony feet and a beauti- 
fully expressive tenor voice. His latest, 
Honky-Tenk Stordust Cowboy (Atco), show 
that he can write songs almost as well 
as he can sing them. Jonathan's music 
celebrates the wonders of love and. na- 
ture in down-home images, as in It’s a 
Beautiful Day, a lovely, complex piece 
with subue rhythm. Or he may tr 
evoke something of the folk performer's 

ion, as he does in three very differ- 
nt songs. The title ballad, for instance. 
is a musical exemplum about 


rhinestone suits and still wants to be 
illbilly star. There's а lot of magic i 
this album. 


The Modern Jazz 


Quartet, 
e old man river, comes near 
g with The Legendary Profile (At- 

The group is, of course. 

: John Lewis on piano and cle 
о: Milt Jackson, vibes; Percy 
һ, bass; Connie Kay, drums. The 
music is a mix of Lewis and Jackson 
items, plus Tim Hardin's Misty Roses, 
and What Now My Love, which has 
been Gallic up to now but in the hands 
of the MJQ becomes a groove; they go 
very casy on the French dressing. The 
tide tune and The Martyr, both by 
Jackson, are particularly beguiling, 


rolling 


crest 
ишо). 


Don't bother looking for the lyrics 
On Eddie Harris Sings the Blues (Atlantic). 
is has performed some electronic 
ed his voice into yet 


anothi strument on three of the num- 
bers in the album. The effect is truly 
clectric and intriguing. Harris’ wordless 


sounds often ha 


marvelous poign- 
псу to them. On the three other tracks, 
Eddie limits himself to some “straight” 
stretching out on his electric sax. The 
backing is varied in number but consist 
emt in its high quality- 


Liule Richard must really love music. 
because he keeps coming back to it. He 
came back to it once after a fling at 
being an evangelist, and he scems to 
have returned again after а successful 
run as a media celebrity. The Second Com- 
ing (Reprise) finds him reunited with his 
producer of the Fifties, Bumps Black- 


well, and several of his backup men 
from that era. The results are some 
siraight-ahead, rocking jams that are 


guaranteed to get you out of your s 
Mockinbird Sally, Thomasine and Rock- 
in’ Rockin’ Boogie are right out of the 
ties; Nuki Suki and Second Line otter 


modern r&b sound, despite the fact 
that the “second line” is a vintage rhy- 
thm from the Vieux Carré; It Ain't 
What You Do, It’s the Way How You Do 


It has a slight country-rock taste. thanks 
to the guitar work of Sneaky Pete 
Kleinow and Mike Deasey: Sanctified, 
Satisfied Toe-Tapper is a primitive rock 
instrumental—seven minutes of jamming 
оп one change—vet it’s exactly what the 
title claims. Richard's vocals blend 
nicely with the band sound and, wh 
he rapsings on a couple of numb 


it's not the “Buy my image" stuff he 
unleashes on late-night TV. Our only 
complaint is that the cuts are a ийе 


d been held in check. 
ne could have been 


overlong; if the 
maybe another t 
squeezed in. 


Blood. Sweat & T: 


ıs has reorganized 
his sound and approach are different, 
but some of the old group remains. 
New Blood (Columbia) features а lew 
tunes, such as 7 Can't Move No Moun- 
tains and Alone, whose majo 
shifts and. voicings will remind you of 
and, there's zap and 
variety where there used 10 be 
nd diché. Jerry Fisher is a good 1 
singer, in some ways better than Clayton- 
Thomas, and the boys have a find in 
denius, whose singing and 
playing (Slam Stewart style) 
ke Herbie Hancock's Maiden Voyage 

of the album. As 
spicious beginning (or 


| minor 


the old but now 


tour de force 


the 
they say, 


an 


st Hubert Laws has just about 
viped out everybody else in sight. 1f you 
doubt us, catch Wild Flower (Atlantic). 
Laws can be heard on flute, alto flute, 
piccolo and amplified flute and the 
backii except for the closing Yeruba, 


ng section 


bear—p 
Burton, 
Bern 


Gary 
ter, drummer 
ard Purdie, conga drummer Mongo 

ia and percussionists Airto Mo: 
en Smith and Joe Ch 
nd ide; 


5 ht 


is George Gershwin 
Plays Gershwin & Kern (Klavier). Reproc- 
essed from piano rolls America's pr 
mier popular composer made between 
1919 and 1995, it has an astonishingly 
fresh, contemporary sound to it. Gersh. 
win was no virtuoso of the keyboard. 
but he was по hack, either, and he ob- 
viously knew how to interpret his own 
compositions, What is surprising is the 
relish with which he threw himself into 
i ome 
v's Left All Alone Blues, Whip-Poor 
Will and Whose Baby Ave You? are well 
worth the price of admission. 


Elegant Piano (Halcyon) is as aptly 


titled an album as we've come across in 


quite a while. Teddy Wilson and Marian 
MePartland—that pretty much says it 
all. Wilson has four solo tracks, McPart- 
land one, and there are four duets that 
exude empathy and imagination. The 
avily toward standards, all of 
anything but in the weatment 
given them, The session is honest, re- 
axed, intelligent and strictly first-class 
Available by mail for 55.98 from Hal. 
cyon Records, Вох 4255, Grand Central 
ation, New York. 


New York 10017. 


After a yearaand-a-half record 
tus, Tim Buckley is back, s 
а whacked out version of Van. Morri 


son 
Greetings from LA. (Warner Bros) is what 
Buckley calls "fullout blues-rock type 


stuff." quite a change from his previous 
folk style. Mostly it deals with dat ole 
debbil, sex: and Tim's blackface, hard-on 
voice sometimes leaves us limp—not from 
оп but from laughter. Get on 
Top, lor instance, is what you might ex- 
pect, a saga of squeaking bedsprings and 
king tongues, but Kevin Kelly's zing- 
ing, probing organ is great, And so, in 
fact, is most of the music here. 


Some charming oddities that came 
to light after his death in 1964 have 
been collected under the title Unpub- 


lished Cole Porter (Painted Smiles) by Ben 
pley, who calls this album a teaser for 
Painted Smiles of Cole Porter, a nos 
talgic musi aza he plans to 
produce on Broadway by late spring. 
Karen Morrow, Alice Playten and that 
hardy perennial Blossom Dearie are 
mong the cast members performing 
here, and their Porter words and. music 
will grow on you, despite a few over- 
worked musical arrangements, 7 Could 


1 extra 


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PLAYBOY 


34 


Kick Myself is a fine, typically cryptic 
minor ballad, and the set's sprightlicst 
novelties include . . . Im Only a School. 
girl, Pets, Humble Hollywood Executive 
and а big-production song extolling the 
glories of Les Belles Poitrines (trans 
lated, that's “beautiful boobs," and no 
lyricist coukl match Porter at taking 
wicked liberties in French). According to 
Bagley, who produced the off-Broadway 
Shoestring Revues and an earlier Cole 
Porter revue (as well as a series of 
Revisited albums offering 
forgotten show tunes by Irving Be 
Vincent Youmans, Noel Coward 
virtually everyone else identified 
Broadway), the new 
strew! 

design st Shirley Kaplan—con- 
veys a mere hint of the treasures in store 
when Painted Smiles prances onstage. 
Bagley promises a bevy of nude or semi- 
nude Glamazons, plus а troupe of per 


and 
with 
Ibum's cover— 
with sumptuous costume and set 
Ps 


forming midgets. With Cole Porter to 
help them, they just might make 
THEATER 
Pippin is cute—on а grand scale. This 
new musical keeps nudging itself and 


the audience in the ribs. Actors step out 
of character and make comments. If a 
snatch of dialog is terrible, we're told 
that it’s terrible. One of the 

snappier numbers, No Time at All. su 
izen style by Irene Ryan, is 
terrupted (and undercut) by the lower- 
ing of a mock-up of the sheet music so 
that the audience can follow the bounc 
ing ball. At 515 top. theatergoers deserve 
more than a community sing and lyrics 
with tag lines such as “Doo-dih” and 
“Yuk-yuk.” Supposedly, this is à musical 
about Pippiu, son ol Charlemagne; but 
actually, the plot is a second cousin to 
Dude, a musical dud that preceded 
Pippin onto Broadway. This is misunder- 
stood-youth country. In quest of sell 


show's 


Pippin samples war, sex, politics and 
revolution, finds them all wanting and 
chooses marriage. Roger O. Hirson's 


book is ballast, but Stephen Schwartz's 
music is sprightly. ‘The cast, particularly 
Ben Vereen as the ever-present inter- 
locutor, js bursting with energy 

cni. And Bob Fosse's directio 


Fouy Walton's scenery, Patric 
pprodt’s costumes and Jules Fisher's 
ighting. is a paragon of theawical i 


genuity. Fosse's dances (and his 
are dazzling. If only there were 
worthy of the resplendent product 
At the Imperial, 219 West 45th Street 


lancers) 
а show 
on. 


Berlin то Broodwoy with Kurt Weill, sub- 
titled “A Musical Voyage; is a wip 
rocky enough to send amy Weillophile 
to the railing. Weill is of course, un- 
parallded as a er 
music. his genius surviving not only a 
change in atmosphere (the B. to B. of 


composer of ti 


the tile) but a dazzling 
laborators (from Bertolt Brecht to 
Ogden Nash). ‘This show caries a full 
cargo of Weill's best music Irom The 
Threepenny Opera, Lady in the Dark, 
Lost in the Stars and other memorable 
shows, but the cast of five just isn't 
tune with the composer. Instead of sar- 
donically revealing their emotions, they 
n and pose as on record jackets. The 
man most in evidence is an eight-by-ten 
glossy named Jerry Lanning, who deliv- 
ers such numbers as September Song and 
Lost in the Stars as if they were pop 
tunes. Backed by an immobile set that’ 
bout as subw: 
tour guide” (Ken Kercheval) links the 
songs with a postcard version of the com- 
poser's interesting life. The narration al- 
ternately simplifies, sentimentalizes and 
condescends. “Text and format” are by 
Gene Lerner, who must therefore share 
redit with Donald Saddler 

choreographer turned director for the 
occa At the De Lys, 191 Chii 


nge of col- 


been retrieved 
basket. Jerry Orbach and Jane Alexan- 
der play married (not to other) New 
Yorkers who answer the same classified 
ad for a rent-controlled apartment—six 
ms with a river view. Accidentally, 
with some contrivance, the two 
strangers are locked in the apartment 
and immediately discover how much 
they h; in common education, 
friends, favorite restaurants, overly ad- 
justed spouses—and fidelity. That last is 
soon reversed, between acis one and 
two. Fortunately. playwright Bob Ran- 
dall has a feeling or contemporary 
chatter, director Edwin Sherin knows 
that this kind of comedy has to be 
believed to be seen and Orbach and 
Miss Alexander arc two of the most 
agile light-comic actors in the theater. 
As Jerry plays his character, he is all 
adolescent impetuosity: he wants. des- 
perately to be on the other side of 
the generation gap. Jane is more prag- 
miutic—but just as curious, In the first 
act, comparing lives and courting, they 
аге funny (although the comedy begins 
to run down as consummation 
proaches). In the second act, the n 
ing after, they return to the б rms 
accompanied by their mates and mask 
their mutual embarrassment with a hilar- 
ious pair of cold shoulders. "The play is 
"n 21 but the actors are welcome 
tenants on Broadway. At the Helen 
Hayes, 210 West 46th. Street. 


waste- 


ro 
but 


ap- 


cdote, 


In movies, Alan Bates has specialized 


in withdrawn, sensitive characters. Now, 
llows him 
self- 


onstage, Simon Gi 
to be flambo I and 
destructive. Ben Butley is an En 
professor who long ago stopped educat- 
ng his dull students in order to amuse 


уз Burley 
icious 


himself at their expense, His early fond- 
ness for the poetry of T. S. Eliot has 
been replaced by an obsession with 
Beatrix Potter. Dressed as if from a 
rummage sale, his face a splotchwork 
quilt of razor nicks and worry lines, he 
is diving into despair, And he is going 
wn everyone with him. His brief 
ze is breaking up, as is a possibly 
homosexual relationship with a young 
protégé. Abandoned. Burley spreads fu 
tility like grass seed. This is a fiendish. 
spiteful character, but Bates manages 
to give him a certain dignity and enor 
mous humor. The writing i 

the direction by James Hammerst 
patterned after Harold Pinter's o 
London production, is precise. The p 
їн docs not attempt to investigate 
the causes of Butley’s collapse. All 
know about him is what we see onstage. 
in his moment of cisis. It’s the actor 
who transcends Вису and endows him, 
ату. with dramatic life. At the 
Morosco, 217 West 45h Street. 


lical theater. Guer- 


us up 
do is send us to sleep with their fami 
message: The system sucks! A livel 
exception is the Sen Francisco Mime Troupe, 
which has been playing SF. parks for 
more than а decade and gets sharper 
every year. Whether or not you're in 
favor of replacing “a dishonest and bor- 
system” wi Marsist one, as it is, 
the Mime Troupe knows that the first 
step to changing somebody's mind 
catch his eye. So its weekend open. 


shows are loud. gaudy w 
oompah music and Indian-cub juggling. 
АП very Music Man—as is the brassy 


tone of the troupe's comedy sketches, 
which zap the usual: Nixonomics, male 
chauvinism, U. S. involvement in Asian 
hard-drug trafic. Originally, the com- 
used a commedia dell arte style 
that proved a bit academic for working- 
class aud. rybody gets all 
the jokes in the company’ 
drama about women's rights 
its Late, Late Show version of CIA low- 
Jinks in Vietnam, “The Dragon 
Revenge." Fast and fu 
dition of coflechouse 


us 
don't end with the traditional whatc 
g but with nder that 
ing we cin do—such as 
rmed by your 

k- 


you-do sh 
there is someth 
throw the rascals out. Wa 
own laughter, you find yourself il 


g that the Mime Troupe might just 
have something there. Two Pr. Satur- 
days and Sundays in various parks 
around the Bay Arca. Call 415-431-1984 


to find out which. The Mime Troupe 
will perform at the Kingston Mi 
in Chicago February 1-11 
University of Wiscon, 
February 13-17. 


9 


нф 


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(means naturally fresh taste) 


menthol, not the kind made in labora- 
tories. Like our superb tobaccos, our 
menthol is naturally grown. You'll get a 
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naturally cool and fresh as Springtime. 


озата к.э. nernoros TOBACCO со, 


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KING, SUPER KING: 20 mg,"tar”, 14 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report AUG. 72. 


PLAYBOY 


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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Wile in Germany last summer. 1 ran 
across various ads for F.K. К. beaches 
and F.K. K. vacation villages. I d 
know what they were at the time 
didn't Jook them up, but now a fri 
tells me that Е. К.К. relers t0. beaches 
where you can go nude. Is he correc? 
Also, since I intend to retum to the 
Continent. this su where might I 
find P. Des 
Moines, Towa 

Your friend is correct—the initials 
F. K. К. stand for Frei Kórperliche Kul- 
tur—literally, “free body culture.” They 
indicate beaches and resorts that have re- 
stricted areas Jor nude bathing. Resorts 
on the shores of Ute Meditervancan that 
include nude beaches ave on Formentera, 
Sardinia, Corsica, Mykonos in the Greek 
islands, Cap d' Agde, Пе du Levant and 
St-Tropez in France, and various. spas 
along the Adriatic coast of Yugoslavia. 


mer 


other nude beaches? 


m think 


ng of converting my present 
stereo setup to quadraphonic but I'm 
ncertain what speakers might be best 
for the rear channels: small inexpe 
ones or something on the order of the 
fairly costly 
Detroit, Michigan 

The ideal loud-speakers to be used for 
the теат channels would be identical to 
the ones you're n using for stereo, 
which you should use as the front speak- 
ers in a fourchannel system. The closer 
the war speakers come to matching the 
front speakers, with respect to efficiency, 
directional characteristics, elc., the better 
the quadraphonic effect. 


ve 


BA married friend contends that because 
my fiancée and T are virgins, we will be 
disappointed with our first fling at sex 
on our wedding night. He suggests we 
est di to find out if were 
ble before it’s too late. My girl 
now cach other very well and 
have discussed sex openly; we think it 
would be very romantic aud just as 
enjoyable to play Adam and Eve on our 
wedding night as it would be to indulge 
in sex before our What do 
you think: —F. H.. 1 

Considering your comm 
other, we don't see any necessity of sav- 
ing your virginity [or that high pressured 
wedding night; and, indeed, you seem to 
be denying yourseli 
pleasure. by abstaining. Nor do w 
why playing Adam and Eve on that par- 
ticular evening should be more romantic 
than on any other evening, before or 
after the nuptials. However, if you have 
religious, moral or romantic scruples 
about premarital sex, suil yourselves 
Don't gel hung up on that overused 
word, compatibility; true, you may be 


take а “ 


s a great deal of 


see 


able to iron out some kinks by practicing 
the art of sex before you тату, but ils 
just as possible—considering your atti- 
tudes—that you might also incur. guilt 
problems. In fact, if you've got the vest 
oj your relationship going for you, if 
you're both physically healthy and if you 
continue to be honest with each other, 
your sex life should be happy and ful- 
filling, regardless of when you begin it. 


Wc nad considerable discussion w 
friends about the origin ol the sh 
the heart used on Valentine's Day card 
My contention is that it's derived fr 
the underside of the head of the po 
Could you shed some light on the su 
ўса? С. N., St. Louis, Missouri 

отту, Sigmund. Frend was never in- 
volved with valentines. The shape of the 
valentine heart is simply a symbolic 
representation of the human heart and 
signifies affection and love. The first 
printed valentine, incidentally, appeared 
late in the 17th Century. 


МЇ, husband of iwo years has come o 
ol the closet and informed me he is | 
ual. He's also become active in the 
gay liberation movement and found а 
lover with whom he spends most of his 
time. Although still affectionate toward 
me, he treats me more like а siste 1 
a wife. The situation is making me an 


emotional wreck. Do you think there is 
chance the pendulum might swing 
back? He has told me he just about 


cracked up while living "suaight"—Mrs. 
D. V., Columbus. Ohio. 

Ij he's truly bisexual, as he says, then 
it's possible to swe your marriage. I 
may not be like most marriages and, in 
fact, some kind of counseling or therapy 
for either or both of you might be ve 
quired to help with ihe necessary adjust- 
ments if he remains actively homosexual 
part of the time. Only you and he can 
know if the relationship is worth the 
effort. But that seems to be academic, 
since if your description is accurate, your 
husband is a homosexual, not а bisexual 
(his actions should be more significant in 
making this judgment Ihan his self. 
appraisal). If he is homosexual, then the 
prospects of а lasting marriage are nil. 
Assuming you want more than a brother 


figure in bed, we'd suggest you make 
your exit graceful but quick 


Though 1 was holding a confirmed tick- 
et, I was recently "bumped" from а 707, 
apparently because the airline had over- 
sold the flight. I was stranded in the air- 
port for three hours before I could catch 
another plane. A friend claims I. was сп 
titled to compensation equal to the cox 
of my ticket—and could still have kept 


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PLAYBOY 


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the ticket for a later flight or turned it 
for , Which would have amounted 
double refund. Was he right?— 
„. New Orleans, Lou 
Yes, he was. According to the rulings 
of the Civil Acronautics Board, you w 
entitled to а “denicd-boarding compen 
sation” equal to the cost of the ticket 
(though not less than $25 nor more than 
5200). You also could have retained the 
ticket for a later flight or cashed it in for 
its full value, in addition to the compen- 
sation. Furthermore, you could have re- 
ceived the compensation right (hen and 
there or had a check for the amount 
mailed to your home address within 21 
hours. But you can still apply for the 
compensation if 90 days haven't passed 
since the date of the flight; after that, 
most airlines destroy their flight records. 
Several catches: Oval confirmation 
doesn't count; it must be noted on your 
ticket. Also, if the airline can reroute 
you wo hours of the original 
light, no compensation is given: nor is 
there а refund if you are. bumped in 
Javor of a Government official. And you 
must, of course, have checked in at least 
ten minutes before flight time. One thing 
more: If your flight is delayed for more 
than four hows, you may be entitled to 
free meals during normal meal hours, 
hotel accommodations during normal 
sleeping hours, plus transportation to 
and from the hotel. These services may 
vary, depending on the airline and 
whether you ave flying first-class or coach, 


Чох dia ine w 
10 stripteasers, or 
neapolis, Minnesota, 

H. L. Mencken coined the word at 
the request of Georgia Sothern, a well 
known stripper, who wanted a “more 
dignified” word to apply to herself. 
Mencken obligingly adapted the word 
from the zoological term ecdysis, which 
ds “the act of shedding or molting an 
outer skin” and which derives in turn 
jrom the Greek ekdvein, “lo take off, 
strip off” —in this case, clothing. 


Oder daughter has announced that her 
boyfriend will accompany her home 
from college on her n —ánd vill 
share her bedroom. My wife and 1 ap- 
preciate the fact that she is no longer a 
child and we've will 
today's sexual standar 
ent from those t 
own youth. Neverth 
daughter and a stranger 
sexual liberalism in our own 
would make us very uncomfortable. How 
can we veto her plans without ст 
the impression that were being 
fashioned and overprotective2—G. K., 
Brooklyn, New York. 

Tell her what you've told us: that 
she's free to follow her own sexual stand- 
ards, but she is not free to make you 


within 


1 ecdysiast, as 
пас? В. А. 


applied 
Min- 


uncomfortable in your home. Your alti- 
tude is protective of your own feelings 
and, as such, is hardly old-fashioned. By 
asserting your rights, you may well re- 
gain the respect your daughter failed to 
show when she {тїсї to bully you into 
accepting her plans without any prior 
consultation. 


[хе heard conflicting opinions about the 
durability of German white wine 
opened, of course. Could you tell me the 
facts?—S. D., Pittsburgh, Pennsylv: 
Most ordinary German table wines are 
at their peak within two or three years 
of being bottled and pass their prim 
very quickly after that period. Better 
wines, such as those labeled K 
which ave made only from fully ripened 
grapes, reach their maturity within four 
or five years but can keep for as long as 
eight or more. Spatlese-quality wines, 
made рот grapes picked after the 
completion of the normal harvest, can 
be kept in stock eight lo ten years or 
longer. The very finest German whites 
— Auslese, Beerenauslese and Trocke 
becrenauslese—can last for decades. 
Length of lije, of course, depends on 
storage conditions that avoid extremes 
of heat and cold. 


AA iew years ago, The Playboy Advisor 
ed that white shirts were the only 
ones acceptable after Recently, 
Гуе noticed that at pl ı the ber- 
ter restaurants, about a third of the men 
re wea th color. Does the 


g shirts w 


Wisconsin. 

Fashions change and so do we. While 
white remains a strong favorite, any 
color or pattern is acceptable at any lime 
and in practically any place. 


[m thinking of driving to the West 
Coast, but instead of tiking my own car. 
I'd like to contact someone who w 
his car driven out there for him. Is there 
a business that specia this 10 
which 1 can apply? If there is, what's the 
procedure to lollowz—R. S, Chicago, 
Illinois. 

There ате many companies located in 
major cities thal specialize in deliver- 
ing the cars of private parties, companies 
or automobile manufacturers. To qual- 
ify ах а driver, you must be at least 21, 
have a driver's license and. put dl 
deposit of 830, though the amount may 
depend on distance (the company in- 
sures the car for five, theft and liability, 
usually with $50 or more deductible). 
You must also fill out an application list- 
business and family references. 
Though is posible for you to get a 
car the same duy you apply, sometimes 
there's a delay, depending in part on 
your destination. At least in Chiengo. 
cars going to California and 


vn a 


ing 


more 


once the 
cold—which 


Arizona become available 
weather staris turning 
should suit yon just fine. 


V question the tradition of a married 
woman's being forced to use her hus- 
band’s пате socially—for example. Mrs. 
George Brown, rather than Mrs. Helen 
Brown (or even her maide 1 
Helen Smith). The usual form implies 
that the wile is her husband's property 
I feel that my wife should be as free as I 
to choose how she'll be addressed. Com 
шеш?—М. F.. Houston, Texas. 

Formal etiquette is currently in a state 
of flux—wvomen's lib is pressing for 
change in areas they consider denean- 


me. 


ng to women, and we agree. Your wife 
should feel free to use whatever name 
she wishes in social intercourse, but she 
ought lo be consistent. When il comes 
to legal matters. however—joint owner- 
ship, the handling of stocks, bonds, real 
estate, etc.—consult your attorney. 


ММ... can a guy do to re 
wanted erection? frequently subject 
to this in classes at college, which makes 
ne sweat for fear it won't go away be- 
fore the bell rings. Most of the time, I 
seem to get an erection without any ob- 
vious r Do you have any cure 
5. L., Pho Arizona. 

Let's talk about causes before we gel 
to cures. It's common for young men to 
erections when they've least needed, 
wanted or expected, for no apparent 
reason. But this is а relatively occasional 
phenomenon and should cause no dis- 
comfort or embarrassment (r 
that even. if noticeable, every male in 
the classroom has shared the experience 
and most females understand and ave 
probably not offended by it). If your 
ilualion is chronic, it could indicate 
either that you have a very active fantasy 
life—in which case, we can only suggest 
that you try to concentrate harder on 
classroom matters—or that your erection 
is a reaction to a stress syndrome. Mas- 
ters and Johnson have discovered. that 
more men react to tension by becoming 
erect than has been previously recog: 
nized. If you eliminate the first reason 
and decide that stress is your problem, 
then you'll have to learn to relax under 
pressure—ivhich is easier said than done 


апа may iequire medical help. 


AM reasonable questions—from fadt 
ion, Jood and drink, stereo and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, tasie and etiquette 
—iwill be personally answered if the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letiers to The Playboy 
Advisor. Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Ave. Chicago. Шіпоіх 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


an un- 


4 assured 


Ам. 


Its a whole different car inside. 


The 1973 Super Beetle. 


For one thing, there's о lot more inside, 
inside. We're giving you plenty of legroom 
up front. And fontostic headroom, 

We've also dane о nice thing for your 
nose. Our new windshield is pushed woy 
forword, ond curved. It’s octuolly 4276 lorger. 

For comfort, the seats, too, ore curved. 
The same way whot you sit on is. And the 
some way your bock is. 

Inertio type seatbelts buckle up os ston- 
dord equipment. 


m— M 


The padded dosh is completely redesigned. 
To be read in o flosh 

Getting in ond out of the back seat of the 
Bug is now pretty eosy even lor nan-athletic 
lypes. 

And we've hod some very fresh ideos 
about cir. And how to circulate it. Our re- 
morkable improved ventilotion system even 
de-fags the side windows 

Altagether, the interior of the 1973 Super 
Beetle is so radicolly different, you'd hove o 


hord time knowing it was o Beetle, except for 
the steering wheel insignio. 

There remain, however, certain things that 
will give you the clue thot you're driving 
o VW. 

Economy. Dependability. Our good old 
never-give-up choracter. 

The beouty of the new inside 
moy be its beauty. But the fact 
thot it comes in the cor it does, is 
the most beautiful port of all. 


Few things in life work as well as a Volkswagen. 


© 1973—8.1. REYNOLDS TOBACCO со. 


How many times 


have you decided 
to give up smoking? 


Nobody these days is telling you not to give up smoking. 

But if you've given it up more times than you'd like to remember, 
the chances are you enjoy it too much to want to give it up at all. 

If you're like a lot of smokers these days, it probably isn't smoking 
that you want to give up. It's some of that ‘tar’ and nicotine you ve been 
hearing about. 

So you tried cigarettes which were low in ‘tar’ and you found your- 
self checking every once ina while to see if they were still lit. Which 
drove you right back to your regular brand. | 

But now, there is Vantage. VANTAGE 

Vantage cigarettes, either filter or menthol, | | 
have 12 milligrams of tar and 09 milligrams of 
nicotine, considerably less than most cigarettes. 

And what really makes Vantage special is ЇЇ ЇЇ 
our special filter which allows the ~~ VANTAGE 
tobacco flavor to come through. OS 

Vantage isn't the lowest ‘tar’ and 
nicotine cigarette, but it sure is the 
lowest one you'll enjoy smoking. 

And that’s what makes all the 
difference. Sew VAN 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
42 


Filter and Menthol: 12 mg. "tar", 0.9 mg. nicotine—av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report Aug. 72. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


үте neath ae 
an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


PRISON REFORMER CLEARED 
се you published my attorney's let- 
(eroi g the Playboy i 
for its financial suppe 
Union 
me (The Playboy Forum, October 197 
I thought you might like ro know of 
my exoneration. Three prisoners had 
brought suit against me alleging that 1 
was aucmpting 10 foment a revolution 
Texas prisons. One of the three was 
voled and vanished from the nial, 
second. changed sides and testified that 
prison officials had pressured bim imo 
suing me and the third stuck to his story. 
weeks. the U.S. District Court 
- issued an opinion finding in my 


Found 


ju 
avor 

Tam grateful ıo the Playboy Founda- 
1 for 
uch 10 us. and to 
ing my story 


which me: 


м хэ 


Houston, Te: 


LONE-STAR LUNACY 

The Texas marijuana kw (two years 
to life for posesion of any amount of 
the weed) continues 10 wreak havoc 
on the young people of this state. 
s underground newspaper editor Stony 
Burns was convicted of possessing a m 

ju 

stems. Since amy sentence of tem years 
less cam be probated at the court's 
discretion, the jury thoughtfully sen- 
tenced Burns to ten years and опе di 

In Wichita Falls, a many-times-deco- 
rated Vietnam veteran, Don Crowe, was 
convicted of selling one ounce of mari. 
juana to an undercover agent, He got 50 
years. 

Gene 
fender 


ıa seeds and 


mute quantity of m: 


My speaking. a m: 
month or east Texas stands 
much grener chance of going to prison 
than one in south or west Texas. Dallas 
County, in north Texas, has 12 percent 
of the states population, but it accounts 


lor nearly 30 percent of the state's in 
carcerations. El Paso County. which has 
oue fourth as many residents аз Dallas 
County imprison ly iwo mari 


juana offenders in the past year, com 
pared with 234 in Dallas County. 
However, public opinion is changi 
perceptibly in Texas. The fact that mari- 
juana arrests have increased enormously 
during recent years has helped convince 
people that the antianarijuana crusade 


te has gone to an ins 
Attorney General John H 

mt Governor. Bill Hobby have 
called for an overhaul of the 
juana law. Dallas police chief Frank 
Dyson, a supporter of strict law enforce 
ment, said recently that he favored 
reducing marijuana possession бот a 
felony то a misdemeanor. This position 
is shared by the Texas Medical Assoc 
tion and the Texas Bar Association 
X Dallas County grand jury has asked 
the legislature to review the marijua 
possession statutes 


cess. 


The newly elected 63rd legislature. is 


is changed. Texas/NORML has opened 
a state office in Austin plus four regional 
offices to dispense up-to-date information 
about marijuana to all parts of the state. 
Stephen Simon, Director 
Tesas/NORML 
Austin. 1 


DECRIMINALIZING POT 
Та answering a reader's assertion that 
PLAYBOY crusades [or le; pation of 
marijuana” (The Playboy Forum, No 
vember 1972). you stated that rLAYBoY 
supports decriminalization, not legaliza- 
tion. That sounds defensive—as though 
you're uying to avoid sticking your neck 
out while maintaining a pseudoliberal 
posture. Ir also sounds absurd, because 
something that isnt a cr t be 
al, Just what аге you up to: 
John Н. 
Des Moines, Iowa 
AL the moment, we're just trying lo 
sp harmless people out of jail, which 
decriminalization would accomplish by 
eliminating. criminal penalties for pos- 
session of small amounts of marijuana 
for private we. Legalization, as we un- 
derstand the term, is different in that it 
would authorize the distribution 
and sale of pot on the open market 
Perhaps it seems absurd to support mak 
ing legal the use of a substance that 
would be illegal to sell, but we do so for 
pragmatic reasons. We don't want to ad- 
vocate full legalization without knowing 
the sort of regulations that will be pro- 
posed: ¢.g., what kinds of restrictions will 
be imposed on sales and who will en- 
force them? Will 
chandised like jelly beans, lo anyone 


ca 


anderson. 


also 


marijuana be mer 


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C.O.D. orders; please send 

theck or money order 

{including 50е per 

item for handling) 

10: Playboy Products, 
Dept. MYT901 

Playboy Building, 

этә N. Michigan Ave... 
Chicago, Illinois 606 

Piayboy Club credit 

keyholders may charge. 


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PLAYBOY 


44 


ho wants it, at any age? Will it be sub. 
Ject to limited control like alcohol and 
tobacco? Will it be highly restricted. 
like prescription. drugs? Certainly, the 
auswers to these and other questions 
cannot be known until research on the 
longterm effects of pot use has been 
completed. Meanwhile, the known ef 
fects of incarceration are much more 
severe Ihan the known effects of тат 
juana use; beyond that, even if pot 
should prove to have long-term harmful 
effects, jailing people is a singularly 
cruel and ineffective approach to the 
problem. We think it should stop 
al once. 


ATHEISTS IN UNIFORM 
As one who does not believe in the ex- 
istence of God, I agree with the admiral 
quoted in the October 1972 Forum 
Newsfront who said "an atheist could 
not be as great a military official as one 
who is not an atheist." Religious be- 
licvers have always been the cruelest, 
bloodiest and most energetic warriors. 
They believe that rhey have super 
human powers on their side, that they 
are the epitome of goodness and their 
enemies the embodiment of evil and 
that if they n battle they will be 
а eternal afterlife. А non- 
ever, conversely, has no such aids to 
ical ferocity: he is more inclined to 
want to make the best of the world as it 
is, without risking the only life he has 
in the folly that most warfare turns 
ош to be. 


Thomas Sherman 
Cleveland, Ohio 


HANDLE WITH CARE 
As quoted in the October 1972 Playboy 
Forum, Herbert W. Armstrong and his 
coauthors declare: "On the one hand, 
many boys have been told, falsely, that 
masturbation causes insanity, loss of vi- 
у, sterility, pimples, ec., etc" Then 
they say, "On the other hand, masturl 
оп is а form of PERVERSION. It is a six! 
It does harm the boy—or the man— 
physically... .” 
I'm not worried about masturba- 
sinful. However, I am con- 
cemed about the fact that the habit is 
not harmful "on the one hand" but is 
dangerous “on the other hand." Which 
is the sale hand to use—right or left? 
Edwin James Doherty 
Leavenworth, Kansas 


MORE TO BE PITIED THAN SWUNG WITH 

The letter titled “Myths About Swing 
ing" (The Playboy Forum, November 
1972) is filled with so much nonsense 
t my wife and I weren't sure whether 
ugh or cry. Particularly outrageous 


. il not already there. 
A few months ago, we became suffi 
ciently curious about swinging to answ 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy" 


SOME PEOPLE HAVE DIRTY MINDS 

The crime of indecency can take sub- 
tle forms: 

In Minneapolis, a 29-yearold. man 
was arrested for lying nude on the bed 
in his third-floor apartment while watch 
ing a football game on television. Two 
teenaged girls observed him from a 
neighboring apartment building and 
called the police. According to a news 
paper account of the trial, the presiding 
judge pronounced the man guilty even 
before the defense presented its argu- 
ment. When the public defender pro- 
tested, the judge withdrew his ruling 
then reissued it before the defense could 
give ils closing argument. Again the at 
torney protested and was allowed to 
conclude his case before the defendant 
was convicted. Now police ате looking 
for the man, who failed to return for 
sentencing. One observer commented: 
“He may have lost faith in our system 
of justice.” 

In lowa City, Iowa, а man was ат. 
vested and jailed for three days on the 
complaint of a woman who said she s 
him making obscene gestures in. public. 
He explained to police that as he was 
tying to hook a trailer to а car, the 
trailer hitch came up and snagged his 
shirt, and he was trying to untangle him 
self. Charges were dropped when the 
woman Jailed to appear in court, and 
the slate employment commission has 
since ruled that the man is cligible for 
unemployment compensation — because 
the time in jail cost him his job as a 
vabdriver 


DENMARK DISPUTES “LORD PORN” 

COPENNAGES—A prominent Danish 
psychologist and legal scholar says thai 
Denmark’s experience with legalized 
pomography completely contradicts 
Britain's Lord Francis Longford—widely 
called Lord Porn—whose unofficial but 
much-publicized “report” denounces 
pornography as socially dangerous. Berl 
Kutschinsky of Copenhagen University's 
Institute of Criminal Science contends 
that the Danish experiment “could not 
have lurned out better,” and he cites 
the conspicuous drop in sex crimes in 
Copenhagen between 1965 and 1970. 
During that period, the total number of 
reported sex offenses declined 58 percent, 
with the number of child-molesting cases 
dropping from 220 to 96. Since 1967, 
Denmark has gradually legalized all types 
of pornographic material for adults. 


KNOWLEDGE CORRUPTS 

ROCKVILLE, MARYLAND—4 Montgomery 
County citizens’ group is blaming sex- 
education cowses for the alleged rape of 


a B-yearold junior high school girl. 


Calling itself Parents Who Care, 
the gioup said in a press release 


“Whether this 
by coment, [u 


"as а case of rape or sex 
e) consider it to be an in 


tolerable act and condemn the Mont- 
gomery County public school system 


management for what has become. the 
holesale corruption of morals.” Ex- 
plaining the school system's responsibil- 
ity, a spokesman for the group said that 
the sex-education courses “soit of dwell 
on sexuality." 


THAT WAS NO LADY... 

DERBY. ENGLAND—Foulmouthed female 
soccer players have managed to offend 
the gentlemen who referee Derby dis- 
trict soccer games. A district soccer offi- 
cial announced that henceforth women 
will be trained to referee women's 
matches. He explained: “Although the 
ladies’ keenness is commendable, [mate] 
referees who officiate at their matches 
rarely want to do so again. . .. The lan- 
guage can be quite startling.” 


NEW AND USED BRIDES 

PORT MORESBY, NEW GUINEA— The local 
governing council in a remote part of 
Papua, New Guinea, has standardized 
prices on new and used brides. The 
maximum cost of a “brand-new bride" 
should be 5210 cash, five pigs and one 
cassowary (a large ostrichlike bird), ac- 
cording lo the official pricing schedule. 
For a previously married. woman, the 
cost should be no more than $30, two 
pigs and one cassowary. Of the third 
time bride, the council said. “Such 
women are oj no commercial value." 


NEVER ON SUNDAY 
NASHVILLE—After a sudden police 
crackdown netted 31 businessmen foi 
violating Nashville's Sunday-closing lax, 
Judge Andrew Doyle declared that city 
councilmen “have their heads hid in a 
pile of hay” and instructed police to 
slart enforcing local blue laws 100 per- 
cent. “The only thing you can do on 
Sunday is charity,” he announced after 
studying the ordinance, so “bring me 
ту preacher that preaches on Sunday, 
very bus that runs on Sunday, every 
picture show that opens on Sunday. 
We are going to close this town down. 


ev 


SAFE AT LAST 
MCALESIER, OKLANOMA—An ex-con- 
viet, unhappy with the outside world, re- 
tumed to Oklahoma's state prison and 
asked the warden to readmit him for 
four years so he could finish an art 
course. When the warden refused. he 
went to the district attorneys office and 


falsely confessed 10 a number of crimes, 
but that didn’t work either. Two nights 
later, he broke into a tavern, telephoned 
police that a burglary was taking place 
and wailed on the sidewalk with his 
hands in the air until the squad cars ar- 
rived. A local judge reluctantly complied 
with the man’s wishes and gave him his 
Jour-year sentence. 


SLOW WHEELS OF JUSTICE 

LE MARS, owa—A 70-yenr-old man has 
been freed after serving 17 years of a life 
sentence for a kidnap-murder of which 
he was wrongly convicied. A county dis- 
trict judge ordered the original charges 
dismissed and the man released when at- 
torneys produced medical records show- 
ing that his confession was made while 
under the influence о] LSD, stimulants 
and depressants. The drugs were ad- 
ministered in large doses while he was 
being held at a state mental hospital. 


CRIME AND PUNISHMENT 

PHILADELP An extensive study of 
juvenile delinquency suggests. that sim- 
ple punishment rarely fits the crime, 
docsn’t deter it and may do more harm 
than good. A group of University of 
Pennsylvania researchers, headed by Di 
Mawin Wolfgang, compiled histories of 
9945 boys bora in Philadelphia in 
1915 and found that one out of three 
had been arrested at least once before 
age 18. However, a “hard core” of only 
six percent accounted. for some 53 per- 
cent of the group's total crimes. Race 
and socioeconomic status were found to 
be the most important factors both in 
delinquent behavior and in the disposi- 
tion of cases. Whites, regardless of social 
and economic levels, generally fared bet- 
ter than nonwhites, On the effectiveness 
of juvenile-justice systems, the report ob- 
served: “Not only do a greater number 
of those who receive punitive treatment 
continue to violate the law but they also 
commit more serious crimes with greater 
rapidity than those who experience a 
less-constraining contact with the judi- 
cial and correctional systems.” 

The Philadelphia study tends to sup- 
port the controversial decision by Massa- 
chusetts juvenile authorities Unee years 
ago to close down reform schools in 
favor of halfway houses, group shelters, 
forestry work, special counseling services 


and community programs. Dr. Jerome 
Miller, the state commissioner of youth 
services, reported that juvenile vecidi- 
ийт has declined by two thirds since the 
new correctional system was established. 


LIBERAL POT LAW REVERSED 

ANN ARBOR, MI A local district 
judge has ruled that the city's five-dollar 
penalty for marijuana violations is an 


unconstitutional “intrusion of the legis- 
lative body of Ann Arbor in the judicial 
Junction of the state.” Last year, the city 
council pul marijuana offenses in virtu- 
ally the same category as illegal parking. 
The judge's decision reinstates the city's 
maximum criminal penalty of 90 days in 
jail or a 5100 fine, or both; but Ann Ar- 
bor's city allorney, who supports the new 
ordinance as “the only sane way 10 han- 
dle the pot question,” said he would 
appeal the ruling. 


OT TIED THROUGH LOOPHOLE 
novston—Tevas has become the first 
stale to authorize a homosexual. mar- 
riage, but it happened through an over- 
sight that authorities ате now trying to 
correct. The male couple, a former foot- 
ball player and a female impersonator, 
were wed after the Texas attorney gen- 
eral ruled that state law does not 
prohibit homosexual marriages, it only 
Jiohibis two persons of Ше same sex 
from oblaining the necessary license. In 
this case, the couple secured a license by 
applying in the small town of Wharton, 
where all brides are assumed 10 be fe- 
male, especially when named Billie and 
wearing a miniskirt. The district attor- 
ney in Houston, where the ceremony 
was held, now insists (hat the license was 
obtained. through fraud and the mar- 
riage is invalid. However, the Texas 
Family Code states that, except for bi 
amiss or where a close blood relation- 
ship ex 
not affected by any fraud, mistake or 
illegality that occurred in obiaining the 
marriage license” —which leaves state 
authorities still threatening to prosecute 
on fraud charges and the couple's law- 
yer threatening to sue if the state refuses 
to recognize the marriage. Meanwhile, 
the Dallas minister who performed the 
ceremony. said: “We marry souls, not 
hodies. 


ists, “the validity of a marriage is 


As Jar as I'm concerned, they 
are married in the eyes of God and in 
the eyes of Texas.” 


MURDER AND MARIJUANA 

In the eyes of Texas, marijuana is 
worse than murder, judging from some 
recent jury sentences: 

Iu Belton, one murderer was given a 
tworyear sentence, and another, involved 
in two 


illings. has been tried for onc 
^ years’ probation 

In. Dallas, an underground-newspa per 
edilor was convicted of possessing one 
tenth of an ounce of marijuana secds 
and stems and was sentenced to ten 
years and one day; and in Wichita Falls, 
a fast offender was given 50 years for 
allegedly selling one ounce of pot to an 
undercover agent. (See letter in this 
month's “Playboy Forum.") 


and received 


some ads in a magazine and ап under- 
ground newspaper. We met about 12 
couples; they had a great deal in com 
mon—all of it bad. 

Physically, they were about as айтас 
tive as a school of mackerel, Almost 
without exception, they had no intel 
lecmal or cultural interests and could 
discuss sexual experi- 
ences. Far fom being open, honest and 
unhypocritical, as contended by the let- 
ter writer, most resisted discussing their 
names, addresses and jobs, and generally 
behaved as if they were ashamed of what 
they were doing. 
have never met а more depressing. 
nd lifeless assortment of 
people. We persevered as long as we did 
because we kept thinking we were 
ing the exceptions. Finally, how- 
. we concluded that those who main- 
а life style do so because 
ow and unappealing that 
с unable to develop mature, be- 

d meaningful. relationships. 
is the quickest possible 
way 1o destroy one’s taste for exua- 


uninteresting 


they are so s 
they 


e withheld by request) 
delphia, Pennsylva 


BREAST FANTASIES 

In the October 1972 Playboy Advisor. 
you advise a woman whose otherwise 
good marriage is marred by her feel 
that her husband is disappointed by her 
mall breasts to forget it and keep work- 
ing at her marriage. That's unfair on 
two counts. First, you should have apol- 
ogized w her for the role PLAvwoy plays 
glorilying Large breasts. Second, you 
should have advised her to see a plastic 
surgeon, 

Whe 


1 was flat-chested, 1 had a string 
nt and undersexed male com- 
I never had an orgasm, never 
ceived. gifts, never made much money 
or had much fun. Then 1 had silicone 
implants, and wiplel my 
Now I make much more money- 


popular 


topless, bouomless dancer— 
men on my terms. 

Publish this and get some reality into 
the lives of your readers. Reality is the 
best medicine for any dilhculty. 

(Name withheld by request) 
an Francisco, Calile 

First, we don't feel that publishing 
pictures of attractive, well proportioned 
effort lo glorify large 
breasts or requires any apology. Second, 
we're happy that silicone worked for 
you, but we gel the Jeeling that you are 
attached to unreal ideas about 
breasts than most men aie. 


women is an 


more 


A LESS-THAN-MODEST PROPOSAL 

I think Ive got the answer to the 
problem hijacking. Since 
попе of the methods of detecting smug- 
gled weapons seems to work, I propose 


45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


security measure: Every- 
ide nude. AIL clothing. as 
vell as luggage, would be checked be- 
fore boarding and retumed to the pas- 
sengers at their destination 
Aines would benchi greatly; air 
travel would become even more popular, 
as would constitute thu 
i . Shy people could 
be provided with hospital gowns. Of 
course, stewardesses need not participare 
the general nudity, but I would hope 
that the spirit of camaraderie would 
make them want to, as the phrase 
"hiüendly skies" acquires a couple of 
new meu 


the ultimate 
body should 


ow 


es 


John Flynn 


San Fran 


co, Californi: 


CHALLENGING FILM 
If Americans think they are the only 
ones who have nouble caused by censo 
ship regulations, they should hear whar's 
n Canada. І ordered a his 
tori movie from abre 
the U.S.) depicting steam locos 
of the Challenger type. Alter the pack- 
Canada, 1 was informed 
" 


it was pornographic, When I asked the 
w he arrived at that conclusion 
il he had actually exan 


film, he repeated only t 


] weeks liter, the parcel arrived 
at my door without explanation or apol- 
ogy. 1 can only conclude that some 
clerks consider any imported Smm film 
pornographic amd, no doubt, that the 
tide, The Challengers, insp 
wild fanta 


el some 


Stefan Czereyski 
Montreal, Quebec 


SUPPRESSED INFORMATION 

While recovering from my second. 
bortion in less than two years, 1 read in 
the November 1972 Forum Newsfront 
about U. S. postal authoriti ug the 
Comstock Ла i sittempt to prevent 


student groups from sending abortion 
and birtheontrol information in the 
mail 1 was infuriated, 1 receive junk 


mail every day, courtesy of the U.S. 
Postal Service, but. if Fd had inform 
tion on bith control two years ago. I 
might have been spared at feast the first 
of the abortions. (The second one only 
1 


goes to show that even if you use 


pproved method of birth control, preg 


nancy may st 
eration 


1 occur.) E hope this gen- 
is a line wiser than our paren 


generation was—wise enough to inform 
childr pout binh contol and wise 
enough to get idiocies like the Comstock 


Act olf the books. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Seattle, Washington 
A U.S. District Court in Atlanta, 
Georgia, has found that the First 


Amendment's protection of free speech 
includes information on how an abor 
tion may be oblained. Therefore, the 
court stated, the U. S. Postal Service can- 
uot refuse to accept this information for 
mailing. This decision will probably af- 
fect the similar cases mentioned in the 
November 1972 “Forum N 


ABORTION AND MA BELL 
The state of V 
abortion heen licensed 10 
operate a clinic in which the procedure 
is performed on an outpatient | 
a letter to the Pacific Northwest Bell 
ne Company, I requested that 
in the Yellow Pages be 
amended to indude my specialty by add- 
ig the line: “Practice limited to termi- 
nation of pregnancy.” They refused, 
stating it was against their policy to use 
the word abortion or any other terms 
i procedure. They added 
te Medical As- 
t “informs us that it considers 
al the use of the word "abortion" 
or related terminology in the Yellow 
Pages of the telephone book.” 

Since 1 am licensed ıo perform abor- 
tions. 1 think 1 should be allowed. as 
other physicians are, to list my specialty 
in the telephone directory. 


elep 
my 


old, M. D. 
Washington 


Tacoma 


GENOCIDAL PREOCCUPATION 

In your answer to my leuer in the 
September 1972 Playboy Forum. you as- 
sered, “A fetus is а nonhuman, or pre- 
1 not yer emitted ло full 
icluded that 
. Keep 


fetus is 


human, organi 


Los Angeles. California 

In your first letter, you stated that le- 
galized abortion could lead to "selective 
extermination” and “no hope for human 


life." Now you tell us that calling 
abortion moral will wipe out PLaywoy's 
audience. In your preoccupation with 
doom and gloom, you've missed two 
important points: The right to abortion 
permits a woman to terminate an un- 
wanted pregnancy. There are plenty of 
wanted pregnancies. Also, selective ex- 
termination is practiced by governments 
claiming. power over people's bodies. If 
= want to discourage such claims, we 
should keep government out of such 
matters as abortion (see the Jollo 
two letters), leaving the decision up to 
the persons directly involved. 


ng 


COMPULSORY ABORTION 
Well, the very thing that pro-abortion 
liberals said would never happen 1 
happened: A Maryland official 
to force a girl to have an aborti 


even 


though she wanted t0 have the baby 
marry its father. Apparently the teen 
giıl's mother had г 
her daughters. pregnancy by rcachi 
for the nearest phone and an 
abortion, When her daughter refused. 
the woman went to court and succeeded 
mand 
her mother and 
n but also. placing 
girl in jail until the procedure could 
ied out. The judge who made this 
sion reasoned that the senes liberal 
ized abortion statute. "was to encourige 
children not то have w тст 
ies... E can't read it rat 
they have a htt d there- 
fore they have a right to object. becinse 
the philosophy back of it 
sistance 10 the people and prevent 
these unfortunate social consequences of 
сапу promiscuous sexual conduct on the 
part of young p 


t 


in getting an order not only c 
ing the 
undergo the oper 
the 


consent 


ple who are ошай 
h these prob. 
ortunately for the girl. her kaw- 
г successtully appealed the decision. 
1 am delighted th. 
have to undergo an abortion, and 1 
think her case indicates that those who 
arc uying to have restrictive abortion 
laws repeated ar © or mali- 
ciously lying whe that 
they're only trying to the 
choices available to women. 
James Walie 
Portland, Or 


159% 


him 
now 


Tve long been 
done by laws prol 
that such laws are 
pealed. 1 have been € 
authorita 
and ti comp 
Now its happened. A 16carold. 
marr 


€ of the 
biting aborti 


dually being re- 
that the 


an abortion. This 
med to have her baby 
she believes abortion is 
Nevertheless, an operation was 
scheduled at a local hospice. Fortunate 


ly, an emergency session of the Court of 
Special Appeals of Maryland reversed 


the order. 
Obviously. the idea that certain de- 

cisions should be left up to the individ 

ual—that people should be in d 

of their own lives—is completely al 

to many people 


this count 
Kenneth Jones 
Baltimore, Maryland 


EXPERIMENT ON HUMANS 

Te was with shock that 1 in my 
local paper that 430 men with syphilis 
were allowed to go untreat 1932 
as part of a Federally sponsored ex 
periment. Only about 75 of the men 
are alive toda ad it is estimated. that 
anywhere fom 28 to 100 of them died 
as а direct result of untreated зур! 
The experiment was doue, the ari 


read 


1 since 


stated. “so that doctors could determine 
through eventual autopsy what dam: 
the disease does 10 the human body. 

Appaeniy this would not have come 
to light except for an Associated Press 


e 


story disclosing it last July, which led to 
a Federal panel's investigation of the ex- 
periment and its recommendation. Last 
October that, finally, it be ended. Thus. 
for 10 years, authoritics in this country 


My . . 
Our martini Secret? 
experimented on human beings to their 


detriment and Wilton (eir noel Dipalemon peel in vermouth. 
козу p. And use the gin that makes 
лшн =з the perfect martini in the first place. 
n Rouge. Louisiana S s Extra Dry.” 


SURVEILLANCE STYMIED 

The number of wavs the Federal Gov 
ernment can. pry into one’s allairs never 
ceases to amaze me, 1 was glad то learn 
that a U.S, District Court in San. Fran 
cisco has taken the first step toward 
plugging one such peephole. lt seems а 
law was passed in 1970 requiring banks 
to let the Feds ex: 


nine their customers 


deposits, withdrawals and other transac 


rt ruled that this low vio 
lates the constitutional right of privacy 
though it upheld ihe portion of the 
statute that requires banks lo report 
transactions involving foreign bank ac 
counts, Even so. Senator. John. Tunney 
of California hailed the decision becuse 
“it says that a person's check is his pri 
vate business.” and the A. C. L. U. called 
it “an important vicrory in its continu- 
attempt to prevent surveilla 
the Federal Government over the finan- 
cial affairs of ful 
there are people as unremitting in their 
elloris то protect. freedom as Goverment 
in their ellorts to invade it. 
Robert Foug 

San Francisco, € 


tions. The co 


ce by 


"m gr 


eucies ar 


litornia 


KENT STATE LITIGATIONS 
Some people may think the tragedy of 
Kent State is ancient history and should 
be forgotten. Actually, the various 
demonstrating the profound. significance 
of the Kent State shootings and of the 
Federal Government's. mishandling ol 
the maner are only now reaching their 
critical. phase. 
ist October, the U. S. Supreme Court 
из in the case 
of Gilligan vs. Morgan. Yu this 5 


agreed to listen t0 ai 


. сет- 
tain Kent Stare students and. organiza, 
tions are asking that a Federal court 
review and revise Ohio National Guard 
procedures and. practices. 

Also in October, an entirely different 
‚ Schroeder vi. Kleindienst, was filed 
in the U.S. District Court for the Dis- 
trict of Columbia, Its aim is to compel 
the U.S. Attorney General 10 мор pre 
venting andjury investiga 
tion of the Kent State shootings. There 


c 


Federal g 


PLAYBOY 


48 


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strong evidence that the acts of some 
National Guardsmen resulting in the 
deaths and ir Kent State were 
violations of Federal criminal laws. At 
the present time, this evidence is being 
held in the national archives under lock 
and key. It was deliberately withheld 
from the Ohio state grand jury by the 
special state prosecutors, and it has 
never been presented to any Federal 
grand jury, T 
by the Scranton Commission on Campus 
Unrest, but this commission refrained 
from making specific criminal charges 
and findings in its report, only because 
it had been led to believe that there 
would be Federal prosecutions. How 
ever, instead of proceeding with prose- 
cutions, the Administration has tried to 
bury the evidence. In plain violation of 
a specific provision of the Public Rec 
ords Act, the Administration has even 
refused ло let a U.S. i 
examine th 
Other Kent cases with far-reaching 
consequences are now about to be de- 
cided. In Krause vs. Ohio (a suit 
brought by Arthur Krause, father of one 
of the Kent State victims), which is now 
on appeal to the 0. 5, Supreme Court, 
the state of Ohio is claiming that it has 
immunity against suit for any 
al rights, even 
l other possible 


е evidence was examined 


sovere 


deprivation of constitu 
when it has cut olf 
redress for im. In Krause ws. 
Rhodes, an unfavorable decision has 
been rendered. eviscerating the major 
remedy for civil rights violations pro- 
ded by Federal law, and is being ap 
led, If we should be successful in 
er case, there will be à trial and the 
will have a chance to learn wl 
Шу happened at Kent 
Three of these suits are being paid for 
by the Kent State Due Process of Law 
und (to which the Playboy Foundation 
has contributed). Gilligan vs. Morgan is 
an A.C. L. U. case. The attorneys 
their services but the expenses 
те substanti 
‚ just and nonmilitaristic soc 
y an essential part in this struggle 
x-deductible contribution to the 
ate Due Process of Law Fund, 
Department of Social Action, National 
Council of Churches, 475 Riverside 
Drive, New York, New York 10027. 
David E. Engdahl 
Associate Professor of Law 
University of Colorado 
Boulder, Colorado 


Those who v 


“The Playboy Forum” offers the 
opportunity for an extended dialog be- 
tween readers and editors of this pub- 
lication on subjects and issues velated to 
“The Playboy Philosophy" Address all 
correspondence to The Playboy Forum, 
Playboy Building, 19 North Michi- 
gin Avenue, Chicago, Illinois. 60611. 


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health club, a shopping arcade and a choice of 
bars, restaurants and showrooms. 


NON-SKI EAT, DRINK AND 
BE MERRY WEEKEND 


569 per person, double occupancy, 
3 days, 2 nights (Fri. or Sat. check-in) 


Price includes deluxe room at the Club-Hotel and 
your choice of two dinners; Italian Buffet in the 
living Room; dinner, dancing and a show in the 
Playmate Bar; OR dinner and show with top-name 
talent in the Penthouse; PLUS one Playboy Club 
Key good for a year; and free indoor swimming, 
sauna, group Jacuzzi, ice skating and a free movie. 
Guests can also enjoy our game room, indoor 
tennis courts, health club, a shopping arcade and 
à choice of bars, restaurants and showrooms. 


Packages not available during the holiday periods of Dec. 
23, 1972-Jan. 1, 1973. Package prices include taxes. 
Package elements are nontransíerable and nonrefundable. 


IF YOU'RE ALREADY A KEYHOLDER... 


If you're already a Playboy Club keyholder, we'll 
give you a $25 credit on your bill. 

For information, single and third-person rates and 
reservations at the Great Gorge Playboy Club- 
Hotel, in New York, call direct (212) 563-3434; in 
New Jersey, call (201) 827-6000. 


Elsewhere, and for immediate 
confirmation of room reserva- 
tions at other Playboy Club- 
Hotels and Hotels, call TOLL- 
FREE (800) 621-1116 or your 
local Travel Agent. In Illinois 
call (312) 943-2000. 


5. 


The playboy club-horel at GREAT GORGE mentee, ew ney 


HENRY MANCINI 
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49 


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vanor weer: MILTON FRIEDMAN 


a candid conversation in which the maverick economist advocates the 
abolition of welfare, social security and the graduated income tax 


Bertrand Russell studied economics 
briefly but quit because it was too casy. 
Max Planck, the physicist whose breal 
throughs in quantum mechanics were as 
revolutionary as Einstein's in relativity, 
dropped economics because it was too 
hard. They were probably both right. 
That sort of paradox seems to agree 
with Milton Friedman—end 10 sur- 
round him. Friedman's own reputation, 
Jor example, as the most original eco- 
nomic thinker since John Maynard 
Keynes, is due in large part to his ex- 
haustive criticism of the theories first set 


Jorth by Keynes. There are other contra- 
dictions, Even though he had an ambig- 
uous advisory role im the Goldwater 
campaign and supported Nixon's re- 
election—despite the fact that Nixon has 
said he is now a Keynesian in matters of 
economic policy—Friedman calls him- 
self a liberal, (In his book “Capitalism 
and Freedom,” he argues that “collectiv- 
ists” have stolen the label.) He takes 
any number of positions that by them- 
selves would appeal to the lejt, only lo 
couple them with proposals that seem 
clearly right wing: He thinks we should 
«lose the tax loopholes—and eliminate 
the graduated income tax; and he is in 
favor of a negative income tax (in effect, 
but he wants to 
shut down Social Security- 


a guaranteed. income 


“Even the most ardent environmentalist 
doesn't really want to stop pollution. We 
can't afford to eliminate il. The answer 
is to allow only pollution that's worth 
what it costs, and not any that isn’t.” 


If there is a single conceptual anchor 
for these proposals, и is Friedman's deep 
and abiding belief in free enterprise. In 
his view, the free market is the best de- 
vice ever conceived for ordering human 
affairs, and he sees it everywhere thrent- 
ened by the welfare state. Laissez faire 
and the intellectuals who support it had 
once sunk to such low esteem that John 
Kenneth Galbraith could joke that a 
meeting of free enterprises held in 
Switzerland after World War o broke 
up in disagreement over the question of 
whether the British navy should own or 
lease its battleships. It is testimony to 
Friedman's tircless, good-natured efforts 
and the vigor of his arguments that eco- 


nomic ideas once regarded as hopelessly 
ош of date are now being seriously dis- 
cussed again. 

In away, Friedman is proof of his own 
assertions about the free market and the 
opportunities й affords. His parents im- 
migrated to this country from eastern 
Europe and settled in Brooklyn, then in 
Rahway, New Jersey, where Friedman 
grew 
Under a scholarship, he attended Rut- 
gers University, where he studied math 
and was introduced to his life's work in 
a course laught by Arthur Burns, who is 
now the chairman of the Federal Re- 


up in working-class surroundings. 


"he Government solution to a problem 
is usually as bad as the problem. Take 
the minimum wage, which has the effect 
of making poor people—those it was de- 
signed to help—worse off than before.” 


serve Board as well as a friend and stu 
dent of Friedman's. He held a number 
of teaching and research jobs—cncoun- 
lering an occasional obstacle thrown up 
by antiSemitism—before joining the 
faculty of the University of Chicago in 
1946, the same year he took his Ph.D. 
from Columbia. The university has been 
the focal point of his life cver since, and 
the branch of economic thought that in- 
cludes his ideas is called “The Chicago 
School.” 

Perhaps the best example of Fricd- 
man's migration from the wilds of eco- 
nomic theory to а position near center 
stage involves his approach to money. 
In his book “A Monetary History of the 
United States,” a classic in its field, he 
argues that the crucial factor in economic 
trends has been the quantity of money, 
nol what the Federal Government is 
doing about taxes or spending at any 
given time. While not all. economists 
were convinced, they were impressed. 
And carly in the first Nixon Administra- 
tion, Friedman's ideas were finally im- 
plemented as well as dis His 
official influence has waned somewhat 
since then—Nixon subsequently intro- 
duced wage and price controls, which 
are anathema to Friedman—but the 
60-year-old. economist says, “1 like to be 


usscd. 


“What kind oj society isn't structured on 
greed? The problem of social organiza- 
lion is how to set up an arrangement 
under which greed will do the least 
harm. Capitalism is that kind of system.” 


51 


PLAYBOY 


52 


an independent operator, anyway. 

When he’s not teaching at Chicago or 
traveling to a debate or lecture or tes- 
tifying before a Congressional. commit- 
tee (“a waste of time and I generally iry 
to get out of it"), Friedman can be 
found in Ely, Vermont, where he and his 
wife, Rose, who is also an economist and 
edits his books, have a home near the 
crest of a high, gently sloping hill that 
gives way to the Connecticut River Val- 
ley. Friedman spends almost half of each 
year on this hill, writing (he has a col- 
итп in cuery third issue of Newsweek). 
skiing, relaxing and enjoying the good 
life—all pleasures to which few of us 
would have access, he would remind 
you, in a collectivist society. Senior Edi- 
tor Michael Laurence, who is PLAYBOY 
resident financial expert, and Associate 
Articles Editor Geoffrey Norman visited 
Friedman at his hillside retreat to con- 
duct this interview. Their report: 

“Friedman is the sort of man who 
really lives for ideas. His home and of. 
fice are piled with books, papers, manu- 
scripts, journals and correspondence, and 
his talk is generally academic, though re- 
lieved by an occasional anecdote or aph- 
orism. He clearly loves intellectual give 
and take—so much that in the three 
days of our interview, he took time out 
to instruct our photographer in the mer- 
its of free enterprise and to take several 
phone calls from people in Washington 
who wanted his advice on and appraisal 
of recent developments in international 
finance. 

“Whoever he was talking to, Friedman 
showed an almost childlike enthusiasm 
when his mind went to work on a 
subject, even if it was the formulation of 
a program he’s been advocating since 
the carly Fifties. There was also some- 
thing about the very cogency of the 
man’s ideas. The unity of his vision, His 
consistency. Whatever one thinks of his 
positions, we found it impossible not to 
admire the skill of his arguments and 
his nearly Socratic use of logic. Since nei- 
ther of us had ever quite fathomed pure 
economics or been able to understand 
why economists—who wield such a pro- 
found influence over all our lives—have 
such difficulty in agreeing on anything, 
we began by trying that one ош on 
him." 


PLAYBOY: In every public debate on an 
issue involving economies, there seem 
to be nearly as many conllicting. opin- 
ions as the economists. Why ca 
you people get together? 


FRIEDMAN: We do. But that seldom makes 


news, It's our disagreements that receive 
tention, For example, how much at 
tention is paid to agreement between 
Galbraith and myself in opposing a 
draft avoring an all-volunteer 
armed force, or in opposing tariffs and 
favoring free trade, or on a host of other 
ssues? What is newsworthy is that Gal- 


and 


braith endorses wage and price controls, 
while T oppose them, 

PLAYBOY: Yet in the past election, you 
supported Nixon despite his imposition 
of controls, Have you changed your 
mind? 

FRIEDMAN: ] haven't—and has 
Nixon. I'm still opposed to wage and 
price controls, and so is he. Incidental- 
ly, going back to Galbraith, in а note 
that I wrote to him shortly after Nixon 
imposed the controls, 1 said, "You must 
be as chagrined аз 1 am to have Nixon 
lor your disciple." So far, he hasn't 
replied. 

I regret that he imposed them; 
in doing so, I think he behaved the 
only way a responsible leader of a de- 
mocracy could. He resisted controls for 
neatly three years when there was strong 
pressure lor their introduction. He tried 
to make the case against controls, to 
educate the people about the causes 
of inflation and the best methods of 
fighting it—namely, reduced monetary 
growth and lower Federal spending. Bur 
he failed and finally gave in to the pop- 
ular demand for some kind of immedi- 

nd extreme measure to halt risi 
, and controls were the me: 
most people seemed to agree on. As a 
leader, that was a proper thing for him 
to do, even though he felt it was the 
wrong solution, He behaved the sa 
way with regard to the w 
PLAYBOY: Aren't vou saying that there's 
been a large clement of political op- 
n Nixon's reversals? 


neither 


yet 


other's statesmanship. There is a very 
delicate balance between the two in our 
society. Good polities is what we should 
demand from our politicians—to a de- 
gree. We don’t want our leaders to 
charge off in every direction trying to 
satisfy the latest public whim, but ne 
ther do we want them to completely ig 
nore the will of the people. I think 
Nixon acied properly. The real problem 
is educating the public, and there he 
was unsuccessful. 

PLAYBOY: Isn't it possible that Nixon 
was wrong? W: tion at a level 
that demanded drastic action such as 
controls? 

FRIEDMAN: No. Inflation was already tà 
pering off as a result of earlier monet 
and fiscal measures when the President 
imposed controls. In any event, controls 
€ the wrong way to case inflation. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 

FRIEDMAN: Because they never work. 
"eve seen that throughout history, ever 
since the time of the Emperor Diode- 
1 If controls are administered with 
any real zeal, people find w 
ound them. The 
cover only about one third of all prices. 
Suppose these prices were kept down 
by controls. That would simply mean 
people would have more money to spend 
products represented by the other 


ays to get 
current controls 


two thirds and would drive the 
prices of those goods and services. 
In the case of wages, there are any 


number of ways of getting around the 


up 


controls. If an employer wants, for some 
reason, to pay a higher wage, he can 
promote the wage carner, offer him 


fringe benefits, give him а car—all sorts 
of things. This takes place especially at 
the higher income levels, with corporate 
executives, and so forth. So the people 
who are hurt most by wage controls 
are those the program is said to protect 
the hourly wage earner, the employce 
on a low salary—production-line work- 
ers and secretaries. 

If the controls hened or ех 

panded, people will find new and moie 
ingenious ways of getting around them. 
And as the power of enforcement in. 
creases, you move farther and farther 
from a free society; this is the most dam- 
aging effect of controls. The apparatus 
required to make them effective in even 
imited way will be unpopular in 
free society. We saw that in World War 
Two; even then, when there was fairly 
broad agreement on the need for con- 
trols, there was resentment and there 
were black markets. 
PLAYBOY: Why does inflation seem to be 
such a per ly insoluble probl 
FRIEDMAN: Technically, inflation isn't 
terribly difficult to stop. The real prob 
lem is that the favorable eflects of infla 
tion come early, the bad effects late. In 
a way, it’s like drink. The first few 
months or years of inflation, 
first few drinks, seem just finc. E 
has morc money to spend and prices 
ren't rising quite as s the money 
that’s available. The hangover comes 
when prices start 10 catch up. And, of 
course, some people are hurt worse than 
others by inflation, Usually people with- 
out much political voice—the poor and 
retired people on fixed incomes. Some 
people aren't hurt at all. And others 
profit enormously. 

When you start to take some action 
against inflation, on the oth d, the 
bad effects are felt right away. People 
are out of work. Interest rates go up. 
Money gets tight. It’s unpleasant. Only 
later do the good elfects of an end to ris 
ing prices show up. The problem is get 
ting through the painful cure without 
wanting another drink. The greatest 
difficulty in curtailing inflation is that, 
after a while, people begin to think 
they'd rather have the sickness than the 
cure. What they don't realize is that once 
the cure has taken effect, i 
ve both economic growth and price 
stability. But as we saw with Nixon 
there is terrible public pressure to junk 
the cure and go back to being sick—or 
drunk, to continue the metaphor. 
PLAYBOY: Why is it so dilficult 10 make 
the public understand this? 

That has to do with the rather 
complex causes of inflation, When a 


а 


s possible to 


shopper goes to the grocery store and 
sees that the price of meat has gone up 
ten percent or so, she screams bloody 
murder and demands that something be 
bout it. She writes her Congress- 
Well, perhaps she's been admon- 
ishing that same Congressman to vote 
lor Medicare and increased Social Sei 
ity and Federal housing assistance. And, 
naturally, for no increase in the income 
. The Congressman has voted for all 
these things and the Federal Reserve 
Board has made it possible for her Con- 
gressman to pay for these measures, 
without increasing taxes, by expand 
the moncy supply. Those are the basic 
sources of inflation and they are hidden. 
"The shopper thinks the butcher is steal- 
ing and she wants it stopped. The 
butcher thinks his landlord is stealing 
when he increases the rent by 15 per- 
cent. The landlord, in turn, is upset 
about the increased costs of maintaining 
his building, and so on. 

PLAYBOY: But why have costs and | 
risen? 

FRIEDMAN: Not because of greedy wage 
earners or avaricious businessmen. Prices 
have risen by 25 percent in the past five 
years because of what 19 identifiable 
men, sitting around a table in Washing- 
ton, did with respect to such arcane 
subjects as rescrve requirement, discount 
es and purchases on the open market. 
PLAYBOY: You're talking about the Fed- 
eral Reserve Board? 

FRIEDMAN: OL course. Now, I'm not talk- 
ing about any kind of conspiracy, or 
even dereliction of duty. These men did 
what they thought best for the country. 
‘They would have acted differently had 
Government expenditures gone up less 
rapidly, had the deficits been lower. 
PLAYBOY: But how does the Federal Re- 
serve System cause inflation? 1 
simply the Government's bank? 
FRIEDMAN: That "simply" covers a lot of 
ground. The Fed, because it's the Gov- 
bank, has the power to create 
—to print—money, and it’s too much 
money that causes inflation. For a rudi 
mentary understanding of how the Fed- 
eral Reserve System causes inflation, it’s 
necessary to know what it has the power 
to do. It can print paper money; almost 
all the bills you have in your pocket are 
Federal reserve notes. It can create de- 
posits that can be held by commercial 
banks, which is equivalent to printing 
notes. It сап extend credit to banks. It 
can set the reserve requirements of its 
member banks—that is how much a 
bank must bold h or on deposit 
with the Federal Reserve Bank for every 
dollar of deposits. The higher the re- 
serve requirement, the less the bank can 
lend, and conversely. 

These powers enable the Fed to deter- 
mine how much money—currency plus 
deposits—there is in the country and to 
increase or decrease that ount. The 
men with this power are appointed by 


ces 


the President and approved by the Sen- 
ate and are leading financial experts. 
But this is tremendous authority for any 
small group of men to have. These men 
have attempted for the past 60 years to 
predict where the economy is headed 
and to keep it on an even path of 
growth. I have studied the monetary his 
tory of the United States and written a 
book on the subject, and it's my opinion 
that there have been more severe crises 
in the years since we've had a Federal 
Reserve System than in the years from 
the Civil War until 1014. Even if you 
leave out the years covered by the two 
World Wars, the Fed scems to have 
failed in its mission of keeping the econ- 
omy on а steady plane. 

PLAYBOY: Why? 
FRIEDMAN: Basii 


ly, I think because it’s 


a system of men and not of rules, and 


nen are fallibl rhe decisions of the 
people who run the Fed, as I said, are 
made in good faith. They want to do 
ihe right thing. But the state of our 
knowledge is incomplete. Often they 
don't have all the facts or they see onc 
particular phenomenon out of propor- 
tion. In the Great Depression, they п 
ed to shrink the total money stock by 
1 third. They did this for the most hon- 
orable of reasons, but it was exactly the 
wrong thing to do. Just as banks all 
around the country were dosing, the 
ised the discount rate; that's the 
rate they charge for loans to banks. 
Bank failures consequently increased 
We might have had an 
cconomic downturn in the Thirties any 
way, but in the absence of the Federal 
Reserve Sysem—with its enormous 
power to make a bad situation worse—it 


wouldn't have been on anything like the 
scale we experienced. 
PLAYBOY: Has the Fed's recent record. 


heen thi id, or have we learned from 
past mistakes? 

FRIEDMAN: We've learned a great deal 
from past mistakes. Two decades ago, I 
wed that the U.S. was depression 
proof because the monetary authorities 
would never à collapse of 
the monetary syst the one that 
occurred. [rom 1929 to 1933. But I went 
on to say that the danger now was a 
swing in the other direction, that in at- 
tempting to avoid recession and unem- 
ployment, the system would overreact 
1 produce inflation. Unfortunately, 
that is exactly whats occurred. Even so, 
the record for the post-World War Two 
period as a whole is enormously better 
n for the prewar period. We've had 
a quarter of a century without а really 
serious recession or depression, and our 
infla e we regard it as serious, 
has so far been mild by world standards. 
We've done better, but not as well as we 
ily could have done. 

PLAYBOY: What's the answer? Should we 
unk the Federal Reserve System and go 
back to private banking? 


FRIEDMAN: No. But we can take some of 
the discr y power away from the 
Fed and make it into a system that oper- 
ates according to rules. If we're going to 
have economic growth without inflati 
the stock of money should increase at a 
steady rate of about four percent per 
year—roughly matching the growth in 
goods and services. The Fed should be 
required to take the kind of limited ac- 
would ensure this sort of 
asion, 

PLAYBOY: Wouldn't the Fed lose its ci 
gency powers—powers that would be 
useful in a crisis? 

FRIEDMAN: Most so-called crises will cor- 
rect themselves if left alone. History 
that the real problem is to keep 
. operating on the wrong prem- 
ises, from doing preciscly the wrong 
thing, from pouring gas on a fire. One 
reason we've so many Government pro- 
grams is that people are afraid to leav 
things alone when that is the best course 
of action. There is a notion—what I've 
called the Devil "Theory—that's. often 
behind a lot of this. The Fed was sup- 
posed to take power out of the hands of 
the conniving bankers, who were sup- 
posed to profit when the economy fluc 
tuated wildly. The idea is to pass а law 
and do something about it. Put good 
men in charge; that's one line. The com- 
peting line is that there are problems in 
the world not only because of bad men 
but also because it's an imperfect world. 
People are imperfect. There are scar- 
cities. Shortages. You can let things work 
themselves out or try to do something 
about them by passing a law. Of course. 
you know which idea is casier to sell. 
PLAYBOY: But you prefer the laissez-faire 
—free-enterprise—approach. 

FRIEDMAN: Generally. Because 1 think the 
Government solution to a problem is 
usually as bad as the problem and very 
often makes the problem worse. Take, 
for example, the minimum wage, which 
has the effect of making the poor 
people at the bottom of the wage scale 
those it was designed to help—worse 
oll than before. 

PLAYBOY: How so? 

FRIEDMAN: If you really want to get a 
feeling about the minimum wage, 
theres nothing more instructive than 
going to the Congre: documents to 
read the proposals to raise the minimum 
wage and sce who testifies. You very sel- 
dom find poor people testifying in favor 
of the minimum wage. The people who 
do are those who receive or pay wages 
much higher than the minimum. Fre 
quently Northern textile manufacturers. 
John F. Kennedy, when he was in Con- 
gress, said explicitly that he was testily- 
ng in favor of a rise in the minimum 
wage because he wanted protection for 
the New England texi industry 
against competition from the so-called 
cheap labor of the South. But now 
look at it from the point of that ch 


53 


PLAYBOY 


E 


labor. If a high minimum wage makes 
unfeasible an otherwise feasible venture 


benefited or 
because jobs otherwise 
them are no longer ible. A mini. 
mum-wage law is in reality, a law that 
makes it illegal for an employer to hire 
а person with limited skills. 

PLAYBOY: Isn't it, rather. а 
quires employers to pa 
livable wage? 


lor 


law that re- 
and 


FRIEDMAN: How is а person better off un- 
employed at a dollar sixty an hour than 


employed at a dollar fifty? No how 
week at a dollar sixty comes to noth 
Lets suppose there's a teenager whom 
1 employer would be perfectly 
ag to hire for a dollar fifty an hour. 
But the law says, no, it’s illegal for you 
to hire him at a dollar fifty an hour. 
You must hire him at a dollar sixty. 
Now, if you hire him at a dollar sixty, 
you're really engaging in an act of char- 
йу. You're paying а dollar fifty for his 
services and you're giving him a gift of 
ten cents. That's something few em- 
ployers, quite naturally, are willing to do 
or can afford to do without being put 
out of business by less generous competi- 
tors. As a result, the effect of a minimum- 
wage law is to produce uncmployment 
among people with low skills. And who 
are the people with low skills? In the 
main, they tend to be teenagers and 
blacks, and women who have no special 
lis or have been out of the labor force 
and are coming back. This is why there 
arc abnormally high unemployment rates 
nong these groups. 

PLAYBOY: How can you be 
minimum. 

FRIEDMAN: In 
mum was т: 
to a dollar—a very substa 
the carly Fifties, the unemployment rate 
among male te about the 
same for blacks as for whites. Both were 
about eight percent when the overall 
unemployment rate was about four 
percent. In the late Fifties, after the mini- 
age rate was raised from seventy- 
s to a dollar, the unemployment 
black teenagers shot up from 


a 


ng. 


3 


e that the 


ge law is the cause? 
1056. 1 


think, the mini- 
iive cents 
ntial rise. In 


rate of 
eight percent to something like 20 to 25 


percent. For white teenagers, it shot up 
to something like 13 percent. From that 
the rates for both black and 
gers have been highe 
б. When they start to decli 
sc in the minimum-wage rate 
1 quis them up 


white teen 
before 


a new 
comes along 
The black teen; 
much 
rate 
table ought to be doing 
something about: Blacks get less school- 
ag and less skilled than whites. 
Therefore, the minimum-wage rate hits 
them  particul d. I've often said 
the minimum-wage rate is the most anti- 


Negro law on the books. 


PLAYBOY: Couldn't those who are hurt by 
minimum-wage legislation be trained for 
more skilled jobs at better wages? 

FRIEDMAN; The minimum wage destroys 
the best kind of training programs we've 
ever had: on-the: 
way people hav 


risen in the labor force 
5 by getting unskilled jobs and learning 


things. Not merely techy 
learn such things as being at 


job on 
me, spending eight hours а day at a 


| standing around on 
street corner ng a certain clement 
of responsibility, letting their employer 
w when they're not going to come 
Ш of those traits arc very important. 
п attempt to repair the damage that 
m wage has done to tradi 
tional on-the-job training. you now 
a whole collection of programs desi 
to take up the slack. The great prolife 
tion of Governmental programs in 
which employers are subsidized to pro- 
vide on-the-job t E gives employers 
an incentive to hire people and then 
fire th order to get other people 
for whom they can get more subsidies. 
PLAYBOY: Even if 
have been as coumterproductive as you 
say, isn’t there а need for some Govern- 
ment intervention on be of the 
poor? Laissez faire, alter all, has long 
been synonymous with sweatshops and 
child labor—conditions that were climi- 
nated only by social legislation. 
FRIEDMAN: Sweatshops and child labor 
were conditions that resulted more from 
poverty than from laissez-faire cconom- 
ics. Wretched working conditions still 
t in nat | all sorts of en- 


job rather 0 


in. 
In 
the mi 


ons w 


lightened social legislation but where 
poverty is still extreme. We in the 


United States no longer suffer that kind 
of poverty because the free-enterprise 
system has allowed us to become wealthy 

Everybody does take the line that iis- 
faire is heartless. But when do you 
suppose we had the highest level of p 
vate charitable activity in this country? 
In the 19th Century. Thats when we 
had the great movement toward. pri 
vate nonprofit hospitals. Ihe missions 
abroad. The library movement. Even 
the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to 
Animals. TI lso the era 
the ordinary man, the low-income n 
achieved the greatest imp: 
his standard of li 
During that period, millions of penn 
less immigrants came in from abr 
with nothing but their 
joyed an enormou 
of living. 

My mother came to this country when 
she was 14 years old. She worked in a 
sweatshop us a seamstress, and it was 
only because there was such a sweatshop 
in which she could get a job that she 
was able to come to the U.S. But she 
didn’t stay in the sweatshop and neither 
did most of the others. It was a 
sta them, and а far better one 


tion for 


than anything available to them in 
the old country. And she never thought 
it was anything che. I must say that I 
find it slightly revolting that people 
sneer at а system that’s made it possible 
for them to sneer at it. If we'd had mini 
munrwage laws and all the other tray 
pings of the welfare state in the 19th 
Century, half the readers of rLAY BOY 
would cither not exist at all or be 
citizens of Poland, Hungary or some 
other country. And there would be 
по PLAYnOY for them to read. 

PLAYBOY: Aren't there any Government 
programs that can successfully improve 
the lot of the poor? 

: The actual outcome of almost 
ams that are sold in the name 
the poor—and not only the 


poor worse off. You can take one pro- 
m after another and demonstrate 
that this is the fact. Indeed, by now, I'm 
getting a Jot more company than I used 
to have on this point. In a recent Brook- 
ings Institution report, the authors of 
Great Society programs such as the Wa 
on Poverty now admit that those pro- 
grams spent a lot of money but ac- 
complished very little except to create 
employment for a lot of high-priced pov- 
erty fighters, Sometimes these. programs 
have been well-meaning—those who are 
naive about the laws of economics think 
the best way to help the poor is to vore 
them higher wages—bur often they are 
outright subsidies to the middle class 
and the rich at the expense of the poor. 
PLAYBOY: Please explain. 

FRIEDMAN: Ta ake aid to higher education 
that's onc. of the coun 
ndals. There is 
mous amount of empirical evidence that 
subsidies to higher education impose 
taxes on low-income people and benefit 
high-income people. In the state of 
fornia, over 50 percent of the students 
in Governmentfinanced institui 5 of 
higher Icarning—the University of С 
fornia, the state universities. junior col- 
leges and all the rest—come from the 
upper 25 percent of families by income 
Fewer than five percent come from the 
lower 25 percent. But even. that under- 
states the situation, because what really 
ters is what the incomes of the people 
who go through college will be aher 
they get out of college. If you have two 
young men, one middle class, who goes 
to the university, and the other poor, 
who doesn't—who goes to work as, 
garage mechanic—the one who goes to 
college will obviously make more money 
over his lifetime. But the man in the ga 
rage will be paying taxes to support that 
other man's education—and perhaps his 
draft delerment. When I'm being dema- 
gogic about this, 1 say the sys 
tem in California is one in which you 
x the people of Watts to send children 
from Beverly Hills to college. 

PLAYBOY: There are probably liberals 


n enor 


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PLAYBOY 


56 


who would agree that some well-inten- 
tioned Government programs aimed at 
helping the poor don’t work and are de- 
meaning or unfair to the people they're 
supposed to help. Would you agree with 
them that the Government has a respon- 
sibility to protect the public—via con- 
sumer protection, for cxample—from 
the excesses of capitalism? 

FRIEDMAN: The basic premise of the con- 
sumer “crusade” is that unless the Gov- 
ernment moves in with inspectors and 
gencies, consumers will be defrauded 
by unethical producers and sellers. E 
ccept that. kind. of solution. If a 
consumer finds he's being sold roucn 
meat at the grocery store, he has the 
very best protection agency available: 
the market. He simply stops trading at 
that store and moves to another. Even- 
tually, the first seller gets the message 
nd offers good meat or he goes out 
of business. 

PLAYBOY: Isn't the issue more complex 
than that? One of the most serious con- 
sumer problems is mislabeling and mis- 
representation of products that only the 
most sophisticated shopper cin spot. 
FRIEDMAN: Yes, it's more complex, 
the model is valid, If there is de 


cause the return isn’t that great—a few 
spot it. Producers work on 
gin, like everybody сїзє. If the five 
percent of shoppers who are careful spot 
a clever misrepresentation, they'll leave 
the store. That's enough pressure on the 
store owner. The infrequent shopper 
sumes this when he goes to a 
popular. There has to be a 
popularity, he decides. The reason is 
that it appeals to those who are very 
careful about measures and labels and 
that sort of thing. 

PLAYEOY: Without some kind of con- 
sumer safeguards, how is the public to 
be protected from such things as injuries 
caused by faulty products? 

FRIEDMAN: You suc. That's why we have 
courts. But in the case of a consumer- 
protection agency, that might not be so 
aple. Do you sue the n turer or 
the agency that didn't find the error 
and approved the product? I think 
most people would rather be able to suc 
General Motors than an agency of the 
Government. 

PLAYBOY: But there are consumer frauds 
and there are dangerous goods put 
thoughtlessly on the market. Isn't there 


а way to prevent that rather than inflict 
punishment after the fact? 
FRIEDMAN: The most effective deterrent 


a producer can feel is loss of profits. 
He's going to be careful about what he 
puts on the market because he doesn't 
want to lose business, He doesn't want 
to be sued, cither. People like Ralph 
Nader are always talking about mislead- 
ing advertising а ing. but I 
believe it would be very hard to find 
any examples of mislabeling that can ap- 


proach what is practiced by those of us 
who write for the public at large. We're 
the worst advertisers of the lot. We 
screech about how important our own 
products are, how good they are, how 
theyll cure every ill, and yet some of us 


complain when businessmen do the 
same thing. We don't want an agency to 


assure the public that we do or don't 
measure up to our claims. Critics and 
consumers do that. 

One ol the most dram; 
Gover of the 
regulatory agencies. Even the strongest 

s of the market and а 
supporters of Government 
that these organizations have become 
the servants of those they were supposed 
to protect the public from. Yet there is 
now a demand for a Federal consumer- 
protection agency. We never learn 
PLAYBOY: Do you discount the possibility 
that John Gardner or Ralph Nader 
might put together ап honest-to-God 
consumer coalition—outside Ше Gov- 
ernment—that would get effective le 
lation passed? 

FRIEDMAN: Do I discount the possibility 
that water can run uphill? Theyre 
working against the fun nature 
of thi The interests of consumers are 
diverse and diffuse. You buy a thousand 


agree 


things, but you make your living pro- 
ducing a single product—let's say а mag- 


arine—and you spend the income from 
that on the thousand differe 
When the chips are down, your willin 
ness to promote your interest as a con- 
sumer of the thousand things will be 
less than your willingness to enga 
something that will promote your inte 
est as a producer. You're going to lobby 
for postal subsidies for magazines, 
you're going to make a much harder case 
th 


of things lor y 
even one specifically created to protect 
the public from corporate self-interest 
—to put the welfare of industry before 
that of the consumer, Why? 
FRIEDMAN: Because it’s in the clear and 
immediate interest of the regulated. in- 
dustry or industries to cither neutralize 
the effect of that agency or use it to their 
advantage. Since the interest of an indus- 
try is direct and. focused, it will spend 
a lot more time, moncy and energy 
to accomplish its goal than the public 
will to protect its interests. The public's 
nterest is dilluse, as 1 said. А cor 
protection agency might work for 
period of time. but after the initial, fad- 
dish interest in the project dies down, 
the producers will move in with pressure 
for exemptions and other special rulings. 
Take the historical example of the In- 
terstate Commerce Commission, which 
was established to protect the consumer 


from exploitation by monopolistic rail- 


roads. In actual effect. this created а 


ht cartel that was able to keep rates 
up. The railroad people themselves had 
been trying to set rates, to establish a 
but every time they got an agree: 
ment, some chiseler would break it and 
they'd be back in competition again, So 


the ICC was created and its ial effect 
was to enable the railroads to keep rates 
up and competition ош. 

Then trucking came along, which 


would have competed with the railroads. 
‘There was no monopoly argument what 
soever for including trucking under 
Government regulations, Nobody ever 
argued that, because there wa 
mous amount of competition im the 
trucking business. Vet trucking was 
brought under the ICC on the claim 
that consumers had to be protected from 
unscrupulous truckers. Of course, the 
real reason for bringing trucking u 
the ICC was to protect the r 
from competition. 

Or consider the control of air fares by 
the Civil Aeronautics Board. Now, it's 
perfectly clear that if you didn't have 
;overnmental price fixing, air fares 
would be roughly 60 percent of what 
they are now. We know that because 
California is big enough to support 
ather a sizable airline, within the limits 
of the state. It is, therefore, not con- 
trolled by the GAB. If you compare the 
fares from Los Angeles to San Francisco 
on Pacific Southwest Airlines with the 
CAB-controlled fares from Los Angeles 
to Reno or Phoenix, which are roughly 
the same disuance—or сусп with the 
earlier CAB-mandated fares betwee 
Los Angeles and San Francisco—you will 

nd that the Pacific Southwest Air 
lines fares are roughly 60 percent of 
САВ fares. 
PLAYBOY: Do P. 


an enor- 


. and the other Fed- 
irlines make a profitz 
Avs rate of return. on 
ісус higher 


erally unregulated a 
FRIEDMAN: P. 


t а large part of the effect of higher 
fares is simply to cause the commerci 
airlines to waste money. Since they can't 
compete on fares, they compete with 
free drinks, fancy meals, attractive host 
st important, 
h keeps the fares up. 
which means halLempty planes. If you 
look at the occupancy rate on P. S. A. 
it consistently averages much higher 
than that of the main-airline planes on 
similar heavily traveled routes. 

PLAYBOY: So the CAB-regulated airlines 
aren't really benefiting fiom higher 
es? 

FRIEDMAN: Most of this "benefit" is eaten 
up in higher operating costs. But let's 
suppose some of it docs trickle through 
Where does it trickle through to? Et 


owns the airline stock? The same income 
dass of people that does most of the 


ise ( ж) 
Americasfavenite Сос Beak. fae 


e m 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined | 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 0 N 
سڪ‎ Menthol or Regular 


PLAYBOY 


58 


fying. Perhaps they don't realize it, but 
all they're doing is mg tem doll; 
out of their Icfthand pocket in ordei 
pet one dollar into their right 
pocket. 

PLAYBOY: What about ar 
there is nearly a universi public inter 
est? The regulation of television, for in- 
stance? Shouldn't the Government have 
some authority over the airwaves? 
FRIEDMAN: TV is a morc complicated 
case, The Federal Communications 
Commission has tremendous power over 
the networks. which 
nd the broadcaster: ve an ultimate 
interest in the decisions of the FCC. 
Consequently, they can and do ехе 
е on tha gency. And the FCC 
deal to keep the big 
ness and to protect 
them from competition. Many liberals 
want stronger FCC regulation to im 
prove programing and reduce advertis- 
ng. Yet cable television would allow 
people to watch Shakespeare uninter- 
ruptedly if they were willing to pay 
enou at a producer could make a 
profit by supplying it to t But the 
FCC has held up cable TV with regula- 
ad delaying tactics that are com 
le to the big networks 
ir money through adver 
I you want to watdi telev 


re few in number, 


ion. 


you watch what the networks provide 
—complete with the advertisements. So, 
in a way, the advertisers are being 


psictized, Of course, there 
stitutes. You can read or go 
10 the movies. And even in television. 
which has been shackled by Government 
regulation, the free market is close to 
surmounting the problem, Technology 
spurred by competition will soon make 
ideo casset able. Since they don't 
require use of the public airwaves. they 
won't be subject to Federal regulation. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think there's а con 
imental 


FRIEDMAN: No, І dowi. All of these inter- 
ferences with the market are justified 


tion, we are told, we would be expla ited 
1 overcharged for shoddy service and 
unsafe products, degrading the qu 
our lives and jeopardizing our safety. 
I've always found it amusing and par: 
doxical to behold the enormous success 
Nader has had in selling the idea that 
capitalism degrades quality. 

Picture one of these dupes whom 
Nader feels for walking into his home 
and turning on his magnificent hi-fi s 


Stop and think about ihe improvements 
that hı ken place in electronics and 
hifi and ask yourself whether that w 


through Governmental action, whether 
it was due to regulation, whether it was 
due to st; rds set up by the Govern- 
ment. The answer is no, It was due to 


straight private competition. He turns 
on his fancy stereo FM—which is living 
proof of a proposition 
Nader's—and listens to N ng 
Senate subcommittee how production 
under capitalism, by business enterprises, 
is synonymous with reduction in quality 
with shoddy goods. If Nader tried to 
carry that same messige through letters 
handled by that efficient: Government 
monopoly, the U.S. Postal Service, he 
would never be heard. 

PLAYBOY: Why do we have such poor 
postal service? 

FRIEDMAN: Precisely because it is а Gov- 
monopoly—and performs ex- 
€ one. But we can't eliminate it, 
a very strong interest group 
lobbies against its elimination. And that 
group, like terest groups, has a fo- 
cused interest as opposed to the dilluse, 
general interest. We've seen in the case 
of parcel delivery, which can be und 
taken by private firms, that there 
»pportunity for profitable and efficient 
delivery. United Parcel Service makes a 
profit and provides good service. But 
the postal union and the Government 
employees in the Postal Service aren't 


PLAYBOY: How do you feel abour private 
monopolies? Should they be either bro 
ken up or closely regulated by the 
Government? 

FRIEDMAN: The problem in tb па of 
discussion is making a distinction. be- 


tween the real world and the ideal 
world, For zn ideal hee market, you 
want а large number of producers. For 


n ideal Gov 
In the al 


ament, you want a saint. 
се of both, you have three 
unregulated private monopoly. 
monopoly regulated by Gov 
» monopoly. 

All three . in my opinio 
the best of the bad lot is unregulated 
private monopoly. The ICC and the 
railroads provide a good example of 
regulated private monopoly: the Postal 
Service i» a good example of public 
Those lly appeal 


monopoly. 
ing cases. 
PLAYBOY: Is there an unregulated private 


t 


monopoly in existence? 

FRIEDMAN: A recent historical. example 
would be the stock exchange belorc 
1994. You have so much regulation now 
that you'd have to ta dustry 


to find a good example. Iron and steel. 
perhaps But there really is no such 
thing as pure monopoly, since ev 
thing has substitutes. Even 
steel. The telephone is à monopoly, but 
substitutes in the other forms of 
ation 


ion of the e 


size. While some people 
t to the automobile industry as а 
t monopoly that disproportionately 


influences the economy, they don't rei 
ognize that the wholesale-trade industry 
js twice the size of the automobile 
iry. Studies of 
similarly, that their influence is rel 
tively small and unimportant—though 
obviously some of them have great power 
in limited a я 

Perfect. compet 
concept like th 
has no width and no depth. Just as 
we've never seen that line, there has 
never been truly free enterprise, But the 
examples of monopoly that can be 
found in this country are nothing like 
the threat to our imperfect free-cnte 
prise system posed by the Government's 
attempts to control monopoly "in the 
public interes.” The examples we've 
been talking about are a case in point. 
Another very good example is the whole 
system of agricul programs. Ag 
culture would be entirely competitive if 
it we [ ament control of 
prices, which lı nt the consumer 
without bencfiti, гп 

One final thing on this subject: Free 
enterprise isn’t necessarily strongly sup- 
peried by one group in our economy 
and denounced by another. Both busi 
ness and labor would like exemptions 
that would work to their advantage and 
against the public good. Both would like 
10 behave as monopolies and receive spe- 
cial Government considerations. The oil 
industry fights hard for import quotas to 
keep foreign supplies out and its own 
J. All the while preaching the 
ol fre erprise. Tariffs arc 
supported by certain elements. of 
for the same reason. The essence of the 
problem is that once we begin to allow 
exceptions for special interests, we move 
from а system of private ngements 
al sytem where everyone's 


a theoretical 
п line, which 


bor 


to a pol 


freedom is limited and Government be- 
comes a matter of trying to balance 
those interests. Nobody really wins 


under these terms. 

PLAYBOY: II consumer protection—eve 
from rea that is le 
gitimar ovince of Government, 
what about pollutior 
FRIEDMAN: Even the most ardent ei 
mentalist doesn't really want to stop pol- 
lution. 17 he thinks about it and doesn’t 
just talk about it, he wants 10 have the 
right amount of pollution, We can't 
really afford to climinate it—not without 
wdoning all the benefits of technol 


ron. 


ogy that we not only enjoy but on which 
we depend. So the answer is 10 allow 
only pollution that's worth what it costs, 


nd not any pollution that isn't worth 
what it costs. The problem is to make 
sure that people bear the costs for which 
they are responsible. A market system 
rests fundamentally on such an arrange- 
ment, If you hit me with your car 
you damage те 
me—at lea ult i 
surance. The problem of pollution is 


that if you emit noxious smoke that 
damages me, its difficult for me to 
know who's done the damage and to re- 
quire you to be responsible for i 
reason the market doesn't do it is that 
it's hard to do. The resolution does 
to be through Governmental arrange- 
ments, but in the form of effluent taxes 
rather than emission standards. I prefer 
such taxes to emission standards because 
taxes are more flexible. IE it's more 
pensive lor a company to the 
than emit the pollutant, it will very 
quickly raise its own emission standards. 


PLAYBOY: At its own expense or the 
consumer's? 
The consumer's, of course. 


is a romantic notion that by 
ng down on the producers, we will 
somehow end pollution without any 
incercase in prices. Nonsense. We've 
ready эсси some firms go out of bu 
ness because of antipollution legislation. 
They couldn't afford to stay in produc 
tion. Why shouldn't consumers bear the 
increased costs of a company's eflluent 
tax or of antipollution devices? They 
themselves are the only producers 
of pollution. "here is pollution fom 
steel mills because people—consumers— 
desire steel. Otherwise, it wouldn't be 
produced. So those who desire steel are 
sponsible for the pollution thats 
aused by its production, and they 
should bear the cost of reducing that 
pollution. 

PLAYBOY: Suppose the effluent tax on, 
ү. a paper mill isn't as high as the cost 
of reducing water pollution. Won't. the 
customer pay higher prices for the paper 
nd won't the w still be dirty? 
FRIEDMAN: Not necessarily. That depends 
on how the Government uses the reve- 
nue from the tax. The moncy could be 
spent on treatment. plunts—deaning the 
water. Insofar as it’s feasible, the ef 
fluent es collected could also be paid. 
back as a tax reduction to the people 
who are harmed, if it can be proved who 
did what to whom. Which is preferable 
depends on whether people would rather 
have the money or the dean water. 
PLAYBOY: ‘Then thc tax isn't really a 
solution? 

FRIEDMAN: There is no perfect solution. 
It's a fact of life that there are hard, 
nasty problems that can be mitigated 
but not eliminated. This is one of them. 
The tax is the best—or, if you prefer, 
least bad—of the ways to mitigate pollu- 
Let me add that there are some 
n which the market works to rc- 
solve the problem of pollution, or at 
least to lessen its effects. Take a town 
like Gary, Indiana. To the extent that 
the pollution caused by the U.S. Steel 
plant there is confined to that city and 
people generally are truly concerned 
bout the problem, it's to the company's 
dvantage to do something about it. 
Why? Because if it doesn't, workers will 
prefer to live where there is less pollu- 


them more to live in С; 


y 


PLAYBOY: Quite apart from cmision 
standards and cllluent taxes, shouldn't 
corporate officials take 10 stop 
pollution out of a sense of soci 
responsibility? 


FRIEDMAN: 1 wouldn't buy stock in a com- 


pany that hired that kind of leadership. 
А corporate executive's responsibility is 
to make as much money for the stock- 
holders as possible, as long as he oper- 
ates within the rules of the game. When 
an executive decides to take action for 
reasons of social responsibility, he is tak- 
ing money from someone else—lrom the 
stockholders, in the form of lower divi- 
dends; from the employees, in the form 
of lower wages: or from the consumer, 
in the form of higher prices The r 
sponsibility of a corporate executive is 
to fulfill the terms of his contract. If he 
can't do that in good conscience, then 
he should quit his job and find another 
way to do good. He has the right to pro- 
mote what he regards as desirable moral 
objectives only with his own money. If, 
on the other hand, the executives of 
U.S. Steel undertake to reduce pollu 
tion 

the town attractive to employees 
thus lowering labor costs. then they 
doing the stockholders bidding. And 
everybody benefits: The stockholders 
get higher dividends: the customer gets 
dıeaper steel: the workers get more in 
retum for their labor. "T haus the beauty 
of free enterprise. 

PLAYBOY: We've been discussing Govern- 
ment programs aimed at protecting the 
public. Do you rejea the kind of pro- 
grams by which the Government. at- 
tempts to atid individuals directly? Social 
Security, for inst 

FRIEDMAN: If you bout. misleading 
labeling, Social Security is about as mis- 
leading as you can get. It has nod 
to do with social and it has nothing to 
do with the security of society. What's 
called Social Security is a program that 
links together a particular set of taxes 
wd a particular set of benefits, It in 


volves an 11.7 percent tax on wages up 
to a maximum that is now $10,800, The 


employer and the employee cach sup- 
posedly pay 5.85 percent, but since the 
employer's hall is part of his total wage 
cost, it's the employee who's really pay- 
ing the whole bill. So here you have 
sive payroll tax. 


regres 


On the other side of that, you have 
a benefit structure under which people 
above a certain age receive certain 


amounts. There are many things that 
сап be said about it, but let me try to 
у the most important first: Is it a good 
buy? The answer is, if you take the law 
as it now stands, it’s а very good buy for 
pcople in the older age groups, and it's 
a very lousy buy for people in lower age 
groups. If a. person below about 45 in- 
vested the same amount of money in 


pr 
bank 


ate annuity or just put it in the 
nd let it accumulate interest, he 


g 


people are getting a larger y than 
their taxes would have paid for. They're 
getting it partly because many of them 


working lives, since Social Security 
relatively new thing. The numb 
people who have be ing taxes has 
been growing more га 
ber of people g benefits, Also, 
n they started paying, the tax rates 
1 they are now 

discrep- 
cy, which is the most serious, there is 
Iso a poor/rich discrepancy that works 
to the benefit of the rich. People who 
have high 


incomes from property don't 
lose their Social Security benefits when 
they reach the age of 65, while those 
who have to keep working lose all or i 
part until they reach. 72. But there's 
much more important bias. The lower- 
income person will be likely to go to 
work and start paying taxes at some 
thing like 17 or 18 years of age, while 
the upper-income person might go from 
college to graduate school aud not start 
working and paying taxes until he's 23 
or 24. That means the low-income per- 
son will pay taxes for more years and, 
when you take account of the effect of 
compound interest, he will p 
nomic equivalent of roughly a 
more than the well-to-do person. 
It’s also an established fact of demo; 
raphy that upper-class people live longe 
than lower-class people, so the lowe 
class person not only starts pay 
but he’s less likely to receive bene- 
fits and. if he does, it will be for fewer 
years. So he pays more taxes and gets 
less in benefits. This biases the whole 
program in favor of the well to do, who 
don't need the money, as opposed to 
the poor, who do. This is offset only 
somewhat by the fact that the benefit 
schedule is biased in favor of low-income 
people 
Finally, 


really is misleading to think 
of Social Security as an individual pur- 
chase of insurance, as if your payments 
were buying your benefits. There is al- 
most no relationship between what you 
pay and what you get. What we have in 
Social ity is a tax system and а sep: 
rate benefits system, I don't know апу 
one—whatever his political persuasion 
—who thinks that a llatrate wage tax 
with a m pum on the amount of 
wages taxed is а good tax. It’s equally 
hard lo find anybody who would accept 
it as a satisfactory benefit system. И 
somebody happens not to have worked 
in a covered indu: for example, he 
gets nothing, no matter how severe 
his need. A man over 65 who is quali- 
fied can have an income of 51.000.000 
ments l still get his full 


ec 


59 


PLAYBOY 


60 


benefits. 
income fre 


А man of the same age, with no 
n property, who works and 
certain amount, gets noth- 
add insult to injury, he has 10 
keep paying the taxes. Is always been a 
funny thing ro me that pe 
don't have 4 good thing 10 хау about So- 
cial Security as a tax system or a benefit 
system regard й as а sacred cow when 
you tie the Iwo together. 

PLAYBOY: Would you be in favor of a So- 
cial Security: system that eliminated. the 
king more 


ple who 


inequities by | 
closely to benefitsz 
FRIEDMAN: Lei n 


payments 


«сери. for the sake of 
argument, the false claim made for this 
system: that it really is an insurance pro- 
gram. There are still two strong reasons 
for objecting to it. One is that it in- 
volves compulsory purchase of теше 


n Second. it involves compulsory 
purchase of thai retirement. from. (Hir 
Government. Suppose you young 


man of 30. but it so happens you come 


ily has in- 
and whit 


your 
ıt disease 


cer. he 


not amd you look forward amd say. 
Hell. Fm not nng to live beyond 


fifty.” Is it irra 
that you want to spend. you 
4 not put it aside for vc 
tivement © ol 65: Whar justifica- 
tion is there for the Government to say 
it won't Jet you do that? On the other 
па. say you're going to live a long time 
у К you arc—but. you 
just enjoy the present and. you'd rather 
live it up ing full well 
this n er on. 
when you ger inte 
on. vowll be а charg 
the state. Bur vou ll only be 
the state if the state wants to у 
а charge. H you decide to live й up now 


о decide 
me 


y on 


living now 


nd take the consequences later, it seems 
to me that should be your right 

PLAYBOY: К; Hy. the stare would 
probably take care of someone under 


those circumstances 
FRIEDMAN: АП right. let's suppose we're 


age. Here Гус got two. people. Mr 
i is going to b. 
is buyi 


lating w 


пи nuity өп his own. Mr. Y is not 
Why, in addition to what X is doing 
on his own, should he have ло buy it 
through the Government? И you're go 


ing de have 


shouldn't 


compulsory. retirement 
the Government specify 0 


every individual in the community must 

demonstrate to. die tion of i 
thorities that hes providing for 

retirement benefi of a certain kind 


then let him do it however he wants? If 
you want Government to be in the busi- 
ness. lets require it to compete wi 

ivate enterprise. Let it offer the ter 
on which its willing to give a ret 
ment benefit and Jet it be a sellsupport- 
ing concern. 


PLAYBOY; Even if your objections to So- 
cial Security were shared by a majority 
of the voters, don't we have too much at 


stake to abandon it for the program 
You suggest? 

FRIEDMAN: We have too much at stake 
not to abandon Social Security. Replac- 


ing it would 
we couldnt 
on the ol 


ake some time. of course: 
pod: conscieuce renege 
ready under- 
taken. 1 have outlined elsewhere a pro 
gram that would get the Government 
out of the business ol providing Dor 
peoples retirement while, at the same 
honoring present cor 
involved. program. however 
to get imo here. but 


time, 


mitments, 
too 
irely 


ng: Like any number of 
ient programs. Social Security 
was conceived as a method of dealing 
with special problems involving the 
poor. Like the other programs, it has ex- 
panded Huber as a 

эп тоге rapidly than t б 
wealth. There is à reason for this. There 
is a particular group with a strong intcr 
est in main and siren 
dial Security: the people who administer 


we've become we: 


that program. As poverty declines, rhe 
pressure for more and more poverty pro 
gams ina That pressure comcs 


from the people who administer the pro: 
grams more than fem the poor them- 
selves. This is just one more reason I 
propose a simple solution—a negative 
income tax—lor the problem of pove 

hi would eliminate this whole business 
special categories and special pic 
PLAYBOY: Before we deal with the ne 
tive income tax. lets wlk about 
more fundamental: suggestic 
form of the income тах itself. 

FRIEDMAN: Well, Fd dike t0 move t0- 
ward an enormously simplified. income 
tas, by eliminating all present. deduc 
Г 


your 


ons except for a personal. exemption 
and substituting a Harrie tas lor the 
current. graduated. schedule. Lers con- 
sider the deductions first. 1 would clim 
nal deductions, except for 
cs. There 


expe 


tax deductions [or 


would be no mor 
charitable contributions, for 
ments, for real-estate taxes: no morc 
special treatment for cipitabgains in- 
come, for oil depletion or for all the 
тем. The income tax would then be 
based on what it was supposed 10 be 
based on all along: individual income 

From d ng his 
total receipts i 
each ta 


interest 


excess of business c 
ald be entitled to d 


pa 


er we 


duc а хита | 
that reasonably reflects the сом ol 
ence in the 1970s. When 


tax мау enacted. the per- 
iption was supposed 10 assure 
tever o 
The 
body deserved 
ed. 


very low incomes. 5 
sumption was that e 


ubsistence income belore he was t 


Bur today. this concept has become a 
joke. We still have a personal. exemp 
but—considering the ellecis of in- 
^ lower now than its ever 
Jd double the present. per- 
ion. to S1500 or S1600 per 


sonal exemp 
person. 
PLAYBOY: Ar what percem 
would von place the urate tax? 
FRIEDMAN: 1 vou eliminate the present 
deductions and retain the present per 


e of income 


sonal exemption. yon could serap the 
current. graduated — rates—which run 
hom H percent ap 1e 70 percent—and 


se thc ıt of revenue with 
a Mare and 16 percen 

This sounds unbelievable, bur it's ruc 
Our current ates, while they 
supposedly go from H up to 70 percent. 
are haudulem. Very few people pay 
taxes in the higher brackets, ugely b 
cause of. the ve heard so 


rai me ame 


fax ol а 


mudh about 
PLAYBOY: According 10 the conve 
wisdom, the graduated i 

way to democr 
Ly allocatin: 
grams. Does’ it do tha 
FRIEDMAN: Ihe aduaied 
extent that. it works. doesi 


good 


лах. to 
1 redist 


wealth. Not only does most of the tax 
revenue from the higher income. brack- 
es not ge qo the poor in the form 
of social programs, the gr 

aso protects rather than redistributes 
wealth. It is in effect, a tax оп becom- 


ing wealthy. It doesn't affect people who 
are already wealthy. АШ it does is pro- 


1 of those 


tect them from the competit 

who would share the wealth with them. 
PLAYBOY: Do vou think a confiscitory 
inheritance tax would bener solve the 
problem? 

FRIEDMAN: Theres no such thing as 


clfective inheritance People w 
always find a way around it. IF you c 
pass SI0U.000. on 10. your children, yo 
а profitable business; 


cam set them up i 
spend 


if you can't do that, vou € 
them ло be physic 
V society that 
cc only forces 
The 


money educati 


whatever 
tries to eliminate inh 
inheritance to take dillere 
human desire to improve the lot of one’s 
children isn’) going to be eliminated by 
any government in this world, And it 
would be a terrible th Won were, be 
the desire ol parents 10 do th 


or lawyers 


сац © 


Tor their children: is one of the major 
ces of the energy and the маў 
e all of us bener oll. Even an 


effective inheritance tx, if one could be 

concocted, wouldn't prevent the tr 

mission of wealth. but it would put 
mper өп progress. 


Ive 
le to understand the merit 
of the sor of equality that would chop 


enormous 
never been 


the tall trees down то the level of un 
low oncs. The equality 1 would like to 
see brings the low ones up. 

PLAYBOY: Would your fa 


ame аах bring 


Point for a job with stretch 
andelbowroom. If you're acol- 
lege grad or soon will be, you 
can head for a career that com- 
bines adventure, respect, 
responsibility. 

Air Force officer training 
can help you realize it. When 
you qualify, a 12-week course 
of specialized study will turn 
you into an Air Force officer— 
with all the responsibilities and 
respect and challenges that go 
along with it. 

Then as an officer, you'll 
be attending flight school and 
have the opportunity of win- 
ning those coveted silver wings 
—as an Air Force pilot or navi- 
gator. 

And now your future is 
sky-high. 

You get a flying offi- 
cer's pay, free dental and 


medical care, travel, 30-day 
paid vacations annually, a re- 
tirement package you'll wind up 
enjoying while you're still 
young. And promotions that fol- 
low you as your experience 
grows. 

For all the facts, mail in 
the coupon. Or call 800-447- 
4700 toll free. (In Illinois call 
800-322-4400.) 

And reach for the wild but 
beautiful blue yonder. 


Air Force Opportunities 
Box A 
Randolph AFB, Texas 78148 


Name 


(please print) 
fidis re {с=ш= аз 


City. — — County _ 


Stete. = 


Soc. Sec. # Age. 


Find yourself. 
Fl with the Air Force. 


USAF 


PLAYBOY 


62 


the low ones up or would it—at the 
expense of those in the lower brackets 
benefit primarily those who would 
pay les under your sjstem than they 
do now? 

FRIEDMAN: I think it would be fairer 
to almost everyone than the present sys- 
g you climinated the loop- 
all loopholes are nothing 
more than devices that allow people 
with relatively Euge incomes ı0 avoid 
high taxation. The Brookings Institu- 
tion, which has been looking into this, 
estimates that if you eliminated all the 
loopholes. you would increase total taxa- 


ble income by something like 35 per- 
cent. Given a 21 or 22 percent average 
e on the anrent base to collect 


current revenues, you can see that on a 
base a third again as large, a flatrate tax 
of around 16 percent would raise the 


same amount of money. Personally. 1 
can't imagine many people saying that 
such a would be unfair. As you 


suggest, people who are very poor might 
make such a claim, with some justifica- 
tion. That's why Га also like to double 
the size of the present perso 
tion, Then it would take 
of around 20 percent to yield the same 
amount of revenue that the current sy 
tem raises. 

PLAYBOY: You make 
simple. Yet few knowle 
besides yourself have eve 
idered such a proposal. 
FRIEDMAN: Гага not necessarily an in- 
dictment of the soundness of the idea. 
But you have a point. The current 
system, with all its loopholes, makes 
папу taxpayers—especially the influ- 
ential ones, who have a large voice in 
Government policy—think they have a 
vested interest in the status quo, Proba- 
bly most present taxpayers would prefer 
the current system of taxation to the one 
Ive proposed. Yet the one I propose 


sound almost 
able people 
seriously con- 


would probably save everybody money 
PLAYBOY: But tax relorm can't save 
everyone money: the revenue has to 


come from somewhere, Surely the 
people who pay little or no taxes 
the present system wouldn't bene 
the elimination of tax loophole: 
FRIEDMAN: You're wrong. You're not tak- 
ag into account what it costs people 
to avoid taxes. This is one of the most 
importa d most overlooked — points 
п the whole field of taxation. Let me 
give you the simplest case: mun 
bonds. As you know, the income from 
municipal bonds is tax-free. You're not 
even required to report it. For this rea- 
son, municipal bonds pay а much low 
turn; il corpo e paying 
cight percent, municiy t be paye 
g five. Suppose you buy some mur 
ipal bonds, You get the income 
them, yet on the Government books, 
no taxes on this income are recorded. 
But still, you do You pay 
three dollars in difference 


rom 


between what you could have got if 
you had bought corporate bonds at eight 
percent and what you did get bu 
municipals at five. Th 
tax. It's not recorded, but you're still 
paying it. What happens, in effect, is 
that as a buyer of municipal bonds, you 
pay a 374 percent tax to the Federal 
Government, ns your money 
immediately over to the municipality. 

A better example is the oillepletion 
allowance. A man drills [or oil. It costs 
him $100,000 to drill the hole, but he 
expects to find only $50.000 worth of 
oil. Still, he drills the hole because of 

x advantage of being able to de- 
duct the drilling cost from other income. 


That n s it worth while to drill. But 
understand, he's not really drilling for 
oil, he's drilling for tax advantage. H it 


weren't for the tax laws, nobody would 
spend $100,000 to find 550.000 worth ol 
oil. So there's $50,000 of pure waste in 
1 undertaking. Businessmen call 
y à tax shelter. 

PLAYBOY: Who actually bears this cost 
—the entrepreneur or taxpayers at large 
FRIEDMAN: А good question. and one 
y answered. Individuals enter 
such transactions, obviously. because 
they think others will bear most of the 
burden. HE they thought they'd have to 
pay the cost themselves, they would 
probably never get involved. But when 
you have a whole nation of entrepre- 
пеш», cach seeking tax advantage. its 
impossible to sty just who pays the bill. 
In essence, we all do. АШ you can say is 
that when а man pays S100.000 ro drill 
a hole that will produce 550.000 in oil. 
$50,000 has been wasted. Given a better 
tax system, this waste would not have ос 


curred. And that alone justifies chi 
ing the tax system 

PLAYBOY. The oil companies defend the 
depleii on the ground that 


it encourages exploration for new oi 
reserves in the U. S—reserves that might 
be crucial in a national em 
FRIEDMAN: "They do. but | 
seen them give au estimate of how 
it costs to provide emergency r 
by this device rather than by others: 
Two diferem questions are involved 
here. First, do considerations of national 
defense require a large oil reserve for 
emergendes? Second, what is the best 
amd Cheapest way to provide such a re 

swer to the fust question 
far from clear, given the like 
that any major war involving nuclear 
weapons would be extremely short. But 
even if the answer is yes, th 
of providing a reserve that would be far 
cheaper than requiring consumers year 


you ever 
uch 


ood 


after year to pay unnecessarily high 
s for oil i to finance explo 
ion for nal wells, and then 


using the oil from these wells for cur- 


rent consumption, so you have to ex- 
plore for still more wells. 
But Im getting away from the 


question you raised: whether the rich 
could benefit from getting rid of the 
loopholes, My main point is that all 
these wasted expenditures, tax shelters— 
whatever you might label these evasive 
maneuvers by the welltodo few—are 
largely at their own expense. True, they 
reduce the taxes they pay, but only at 
а high cost Philip Stern wrote an ar- 


tide in The New York Times Magazine 
а few months ago entitled Uncle Sam's 
Welfare Program—For the Rich. His 


gument went like this: People like 
H. 1. Hunt, let's say, pay $2,000,000 a 
year in taxes. But if the loopholes were 
closed, he'd pay 520.000.000. Therefore, 
Stern said, the current system is the 
equivalent of Congress’ enacting an 
$18,000,000 welfare grant for Mr. Hunt, 
paid for by the public, This is shee 
demagogic nonsense, because it com- 
pletely neglects what it costs Mr. Hunt 
Maybe Mr. Hunt, 
(| paying $20,000,000 taxes, 
paid $16.000.000—by buying municip 
bonds, digging uneconomical holes, pay- 
ing high-priced tax lawyers to find new 
loopholes. There probably is an element 
of welfare for the rich, but it’s much less 
than people ima; 
«атап of the Brookings In- 
ed that the Joop- 
holes reduce tax collections by 77 bil 
dollars a year. My guess—and it’s just 
а guess—is that this 77-billion-dollar loss 
in taxes through the loopholes produces 
no more than 25 billion dollars for the 
people who use them. In fact, Fd be 
surprised if it produced that much. The 


to avoid the t 


10 avo 


ion 


rest. as I've tied to explain, is simply 
wasted. 

PLAYBOY: Under the graduated-tax sys- 
tem. the wealthy pay f i 
theory, at least—than those in 


income bracket. Under your proposed 
favre system, they and everyone che 
would have to pay only 20 percent, But 
with all the loopholes at their disposal 
—even though you say they save less 
than they think by using them—don't 
the rich stand to lose more than anyone 
else under your system, with its nodoop- 
holes stipulation? 


FRIEDMAN: Not necessarily. If I were 
Howard Hughes, I'd rather pay 25 per 
cent in taxes than buy a tax shelter 


that costs me 50 cents on the dollar. 
Wouldn't you? The only people this 
change would actually hurt are those 
ke their living by providing tax 
tically, these 
ny minority. Moreover, money would 
be more economically invested than it is 
now, and these better investments would 
стене more wealth, and thus gene 
all up and down the linc. 

PLAYBOY: Most pcople would have less 
quel with the latrare tax than 
with the eli ion of all personal 
deductions other thin provable business 
expenses. Doesn't а man who's hit, say, 
with tremendou al expenses one 


who 


shelters for others. Stat 


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PLAYBOY 


year deserve a t: 
FRIEDMAN: ] have a good deal of sym- 
pathy for the deductibility of catastroph- 
ic medical expenses—more than I do for 
almost any other deductions. Medical 
expenses ате a sort of occupa 
pense—ihe cost of carning an income. 
But for the sake of this proposal, I'd 
eliminate all deductions. For any in- 
come tax to really work, it's got to be 
simple and straightorward—something 
you can fill out on one side of one page 
without too much trouble. Admit one 
loophole and you 
As for how to cope with med 
penses if they're nondeductible, the solu- 
tion is a simple one: Buy insurance. 
When a man buys medical insurance, 
he’s betting the price of the premium 
that he's going to get sick and the insur- 


ance company is betting the cost of his 
medical bills that he won't. If he wins, 
he gets ; if he loses, he's 
out the pr as his ow 


decision—and responsibility—to buy the 
insurance. If he doesn’t buy insurance, 
on the other hand, he's betting u he's 
not going to get sick. If he loses, my 
question is: Why should the rest of us 
have to pick up his expenses by paying 
in taxes for the medical bills he deducts 
from his return? Let him pay the bills; 
that's what he risked when he bet. 
PLAYBOY: But you assume that this man 
is a gambler, that he makes a calculated 
decision not to buy insurance. Don't 
most people fail to buy insurance be- 
cause of cither ignorance or poverty? 
FRIEDMAN: We're not talking about 
ertystricken people here, wi king 
about taxpayers. As for ignorance, thi 
id argument. My fundamen 
that you've got to hold people 
lly responsible for their actions. 
PLAYBOY: Even as nontaxpayers, the poor 
can afford neither insurance nor medical 
penses. Would you hold them individ- 
ually responsible for such costs? 
FRIEDMAN: Obviously, it bothers me, as 
it bothers anyone else, to sce people 
destitute, whether through their own 
fault or not. That's why I'm strongly in 
favor of charitable act 
individual or joint. One of the worst f 
tures of the current system of Social Se. 
curity and welfare arrangements is that 
it has drastically reduced the feeling of 
obligation that members of socicty tradi 
ionally feh tow others. Children 
y feel far less obli 
ts than the 
TE the state is going to 
parents, why should the children worry? 
Similarly with the poor. Who feels a 
personal obligation to help the poor? 
That's the Governments job now. 
PLAYBOY: To return to point you 
raised earlier, you think a negative in- 
come tax will change this? 

FRIEDMAN: I hope it will. But before we 
really get into that, let me stress one 
thing. If we were starting with a clean 


pov- 


slate—if we had no Gove 
fare programs, no Social Security, et 


Im not sure І would be in favor of a 


negative income tax. But, unfortunately, 
we don't have a tabula таза. Instead, we 
have this extraordinary mess of welfare 
arrangements, and the problem is: How 
do you get out of them? You can't sim- 
ply abolish them, because when we en- 
acted these programs, we assumed 
obligation to those who are now being 
helped by them. In fac, we have in- 
duced people to come under the protec- 
tion of these programs. 

PLAYBOY: What do you mean? 

FRIEDMAN: 1 mean that the law of sup- 
ply and demand works very generally. 
Jf there is à demand for poor people, 
the supply of poor people will rise to 
meet the demand. In setting up pr 
grams such as Aid to Dependent Chil- 
dren and all the other welfare programs, 
we have created a demand for poor 
people. Don't misunderstand me. I'm 
not blaming poor people. You сап 
hardly blame them for acting in their 


own interest. Take a poor family in the 


South, working hard for a very low 
come. They learn that in New York City 
00 а month—or whatever 
it is—without working. Who can blame 
such a family for moving to New York 
to get that income? The blame falls on 
those of us who set up the incentives 
in the first place, The blame also falls 
on us for creating a system that not only 
induces people to its benefits but 
forces them to stay in the program once 
they're enrolled and demeans them ter- 
ribly in the process of helping them. 

I remember how impressed I was, si 
or eight years ago, when a young man 
who was writing a book on welfare pro- 
grams in Harlem came to sce me. He 
said, “You know, I've been reading Cap- 
italism and Freedom, where you talk 
about the extent to which Governm 


bureaucracy interferes with the freedom 


of individuals. You really don't know 
the extent of this. Your freedom hasn't 
been much interfered with; my freedom 
hasn't been much interfered with. Whe 
do we meet a. Government ucr 
Maybe when we get a parking ticket or 
Ik about our income taxes. The people 
you should have been talking about,” he 
said to me, "are those poor suckers on 
welfare. They're the people whose frec- 
dom is really being interfered with by 
Government officials. They can't move 
from one place to another without the 
permission of their welfare work 
They can't buy dishes for their kitchen 
without getting a purchase order. Their 
whole lives are controlled by the welfare 
workers.” And he was absolutely rip] 
The freedom of welfare recipients is 
terribly restricted. Whether we're doing 
this for good purposes or bad, it's not 
wise thing to do. Not if we believe t 
individuals should be responsible for 
own actions. 


H 


PLAYBOY: For those who don't know how 
it works, would you explain how wel- 
lare forces people to stay on the dole 
once they're enrolled? 
FRIEDMAN: If someone on welfare finds. 
a job and gets off welfare, and then the 
job disappears—ás so many marginal 
jobs do—it’s going to take him some 
time to go through all the red tape to 
get back onto the program. This dis- 
courages job seeking. In the second 
place, if he gets a job that pays him, say, 
$50 or 575 a week, he's going to lose 
most of that extra money, because his 
welfare check will be reduced accord- 
ingly—assuming he's honest and reports 
it. Since he gets to keep only а small 
fraction of his additional carnings, 
there's small incentive for to carn 
Also, the present setup has encour- 
aged fathers, even responsible fathers, to 
leave their fan ic 
of incentives. If 
has an income above the 
not entitled to welfare. But if he deserts 
his family, they can receive welfa 
That way, he can continue to earn his 
income and contribute it to his family, 
in addition to the welfare they get. 
Many ADC families are actually created 
by fake desertions Of course, you have 
real desertions, too. If a de 
is going to be immediately eligible for 
welfare, the incentive for the family to 
stick together is not increased, to put it 
mildly. So the problem is: How do you 
get out of all thi? And this brings us 
back to the question you asked a 
moment ago. I see the negative income 
tax as the only device yet suggested, by 
anybody, that would bring us out of the 
current welfare mess and still meet our 
responsibilities to the people whom the 
program has got in тошу, 
PLAYBOY: How would the negative tax 
work? 
FRIEDMAN: It would be ticd in with the 
positive income tax. The two are si 
Jar. Ideally, Га like to sce a flatrate 
tax above and below an aption. I've 
already discussed the flat-rate tax. above 
an exemption. The tax on income below 
the exemption would be a negative onc. 
Instead of paying money, the low 
come person would receive it. Consider 
the current tax system. If you're the 
head of a family of four, with an income 
of roughly $1000, your pe 
tions, plus automatic deductions, plus 
low-income will mean that 
you pay no tax. Suppose you're the same 
family of four with an income of 56000; 
you'd end up with a taxable income of 
$2000—that is, $6000 minus $1000—and 
you'd pay a fraction of that $2000 in 
es. Now suppose you had the same 
family of four with an income of 
you'd have a taxable income of minus 
S9000—that is, $2000 minus $4000. But 
under present law, with a taxable in- 
come of minus $2000, you pay no tax 


working and 
minimum, he's 


erted woman 


n- 


onal cxi 


mp- 


allow; 


nee, 


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65 


PLAYBOY 


66 


nd that ends the business. 
With a negative income tax, an i 
come of $2000 would be subject to nega- 
tive taxation. Instead of paying taxes, 
you'd get some money. Just how much 
would depend on the negative tax rate. 
If the negative tax rate were 20 percent, 
you'd get $400. JE the rate were 50 per- 
cent, you'd get $1000. The 50 percent 
negative tax rate is simplest, so it's the 
one I always like to use for illustration. 
IF you have no income at all, for exam- 
ple, you would have a negative taxable 
income of $4000—that is, zero .minus 
54000. You would be entitled to receive 
50 percent of that: $2000. 
PLAYBOY: In other words. your system 
would amount to a guaranteed annual 
income of $2000 for a family of four? 
FRIEDMAN: Yes. But it’s very imporuin 
1 systems like this, to keep in mind 
you're talking about two different num- 
bers: the minimum income. which would 
nteed to every family or t 
; and the break-even point, which 
is the point at which people would 
ving money and start pay 
it. In the example 1 just gave, $2000 is 
the base- 


at all. On the way between the base and 
the break-even point, which is $4000 iu 
this example. you would receive 50 cents 
less from the Government for every extra 
dollar you earned, so you'd get to keep 
50 cents. This provides a consistent. in- 
centive for additional carnings. Above 
$4000, you'd be on your own. You'd 
receive nothing extra. In fact, you'd 
have to start paying taxes, partly to help 
those who are less fortunate than you. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think your negative 
m would be an adequate sul 

present welfare prog 
Dependent Childre 


—Aid to 
stamps and the rest? 

FRIEDMAN: I belicve it would be f. 
perior to the present programs—superior 


su- 


from the point of view ef the recipi- 
ents and also of the taxpayers. But you 
asked whether it would be adequate. 
I really don’t think you can discuss 
negative taxation in terms of adequac 
or fairness. You have to ask a diffe 
stion: How much are you and 
10 tx ourselves in order to 
benefit someone else? The great fallacy 
in these discussions is the assumption 
somehow somebody else is going 
10 pay the bill. Early in his campaign, 
Senator McGovern came out with a pro: 
posal to give а grant of $1000 to every 
person in the country. That wits really 
a form of negative income tax, but onc 
on a very high level. Essentially, what 
McGovern proposed was a $1000 guar- 
antee for а family of four, with a 
$12,000 br рой The result 
would have been to sharply reduce the 
incentive to work for people in a very 
wide income . It would have re- 
duced the incentives for people making 


Keven 


between $1000 and $12,000 by enabling 
them to collect from the Government 
rather than pay taxes; and it would have 
reduced incentives for people making 
more than $12,000 by requiring them 
to pay much higher taxes. And much of 
the extra moncy collected from people 
making above $12.000 would have gone 
not to the desperately poor but to 
people with middle-class incomes. 

We have to ask not only how much 
the recipients get but also who pays for 
it. Can you really justify taxing people 
ng $13,000 order to raise 
ncome of people receiving $11,000 
year? So while I'm in favor of a nega- 
tive income tax, I don't favor апу nega- 
live income 1 want onc that has 
both the guarantee and thc break-even 
point low enough so that the public will 
be willing to pay the bill and one 
where the marginal tax rate, between the 
guarantee and the break-even point, will 
be 50 percent or so, low enough to give 
people a substantial and consistent incen- 
e to carn their way out of the program. 
LAYEOY: Do you think any of these 
proposals you've been discussing—on 
es, welfare, and so on—has a chance 
of public acceptance? 

FRIEDMAN: There have been some hope- 
ful signs. Some things I've been say 
for a number of years now are rec 
ing a little more attention. Some of 
the proposals I've made concerning i 
ional financial 
"stance. Also, the negative income ta 
has become a fairly respectable notio 
. the problem is twolold. 
ге to sell your ideas. to co 
icc people that Government programs 
generally do the opposite of what their 
well-meaning proponents intend—that 
they aren't getting their money's worth 
for taxes. Bur even if people are coi 
vinced by the arguments, there is the 
problem of getting them to give up wh: 
they see as in their special interest. Es 
cryone wants to make sure that he is get- 
ting his, Nobody will let go until he's 
are the other guy is, too. And that's the 
biggest problem. 

PLAYBOY: Js there a solution? 

FRIEDMAN: If there is, it would be in 
bundling things together. That's how we 
keep Government out of the censorship 
business. It's not a matter of taking one 
case at a time and deciding each case on 
its merits. If we did that, we would have 
free speech for very few. Someone would 
be able to get a law passed prohibiting 
free speech for Seventh-day Adventists. 
Or vegetarians. Or Black Panther: 

We talked earlier about reducing the 
tax rates and closing the loopholes. The 
would be more than willing 
c up the loopholes in return for 
and the left wing would 
more than willing to giv 
up the high rates in return for closing 
the loopholes. So it looks there's 
deal to be made. But you can't make a 


to 
lower rates; 
probably be 


deal through the usual legislative chan- 
nels, because neither side trusts the other 
—and both are right. The only way I 
can scc to make such a deal is by а con- 
stitutional amendment that says, for 
ample. Congress can impose an income 
tax as long as the only deductions are for 
strict occupational expenses and a per- 
sonal exemption, and as long as the 
highest tax rate is no more than twice 
the lowest. Personally, 1 would prefer 
flat rate, but to achieve consensus, 
would be better to limit the degree of 
graduation. "That would give both sides 
some assurance that the d wouldn't 
come unstud 
PLAYBOY. Even if a consensus of right 
and left could be achieved on a modi. 
fied version of your flat-rate tax propos- 
al, there are many critics particularly 
among the young—ol what they feel arc 
your basic assumptions. How would you 
answer those who claim that capi 
cannot foster a just and orderly soci 
since it's based on the emotion of greed? 
FRIEDMAN: What kind of society isn't 
structured on greed? As a friend of 
mine s 
lutely depend on every other person to 
do is to put his interests ahead of yours. 
Now, his interests may not be greedy 
a narrow, selfish sense. Some people's 
selbinterest is to save the world. Some 
people's selfinterest is to do good for 
others. Florence Nightingale pursued 
her own self-interest through charitable 
activities. Rockefeller pursued his self- 
nterest in setting up the Rockefeller 
Foundation. But for most people. most 
of the time, selLinterest is greed. 

So the problem of social organization 
is how to set up an gement under 
which greed will do the least harm. It 
scems to me that the great virtue of cap. 
italism is that i kind of system. 
Because under capitalism. the power 
of any one individual over his fellow 
is relativ 1. You take the 
richest capitalist in the world; his power 
over vou and me is trivial compared 
with the power that a Brezhnev or a 
Kosygin has in Russia. Or even com 
pared in the United States with the 
power that an official of the Internal 
Revenue Service has over you. An offi- 
cial of the IRS put you in jail. I 
doubt that there is a person in the 
ted States who couldn't be convicted 
of technical violation of some aspect of 
the personal income tax 

One of the great dangers I see in the 
ion is that there is a 
ptation in Government to use 
the income tax for other purposes. It's 
been done. When gangsters couldn't be 
convicted der the laws they had really 
iolated, they were gotten come: 
хах evasion. When John F. Kennedy 
threatened steel executives in 1962 to 
get them to drive down their prices 
there was the implicit threat that all 
their taxes would be looked at. Now, 


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PLAYBOY 


68 


that is a much more serious threat—the 
power an official has in the pursuit of 
his self-interest-—than anything How 
capable of. We want the kind 
ch greedy people can do 
harm to their fellow men. 
з the kind of world in which 
power is widely dispersed and each of us 
has as many alternatives as possible. 
PLAYBOY. Critics of capitalism feel that 
100 many alternatives caus 
we don't need 47 models of Chevrolets 
when one would do. 
FRIEDMAN: If consumers really preferred 
one model at a lower price than 47 
models, G. M. would be foolish not to 
meet their desires. There are 47 models 
that is what consumers want. 
what the critics really compl: 
pout—that under capitalism. consum- 
ers get what they want rather than what 
the critics think they should have. Its 
always amused me that the intellectuals 
who talk loudest about the waste of 
competition in business are the loudes 
defenders of the waste of competition in 
the intellectual world. 
Isn't it absolutely w 


that m 
iding wh 

their own—lQ0 writers 
ing on the same subject 
h no social priorities being 
posed on what subjects they write 
about? ит it deplorable that thou- 
sands of scientists should cach be pick- 
ing his own subjects lor invest 
Shouldn't there be a cent 
board that decides which subjects have 
the highest social priority and assign 
those subjects to the researchers most 
suited to pursue them, to sec that there 
is no duplication? 

Suggest this to any of the intellectuals 
who whine about the waste of competi 
tion in the business world and almost all 
of them will be horrified. Most of them 
would recognize that it would be terri- 
ble. It would be terrible because the es- 
sence of the intellectual world is tiat it's 
a search for the unknown, an attempt to 
find new things by a process of trial and 
error in which you have a great deal of 
duplication. For every nine people whe 
go off on a bum lead, one person's going 
to go о lit lead. The same thing is 
true in the business world. 

PLAYBOY: What about the criticism that 
capitalism leads to material extrava- 
gance and aesthetic starvation? 

FRIEDMAN: The histor ct ds pre- 
cisely the reverse. The greatest opportu 
nity for the expression of nonmaterial 
motives is in freeemterprise societies. 
‘The great triumphs of literature, art, ar- 
chitecture and science have all been the 
products of individuals. Are the great 
examples of architecture the state build 
ings of Russia or some of the homes 
Frank Lloyd Wright designed for pri 
vate people? Did "Thomas Alva Edison 
produce his inventions lor a central 
planning board under a Five-Year Plan 


isteful 


lions of writers should be de 
lo write on 
may be wı 


or did he produce them under a system 
dividual incentives? 


s whether in a 
t society or in a NL SO- 
e concerned with nonmaterial 
akings, there- 
n the society 
minorities have the greatest op- 


ciety, 


ends. Nonmaterial unda 
fore, will flourish most 
wher 


precisely the kind of society 
minority can more or less do what it 
wants. It’s free to pursue its own inter- 
ests, but not in a collec t society: 
If it's a perfect democracy, it will be 
dominated by the majority; if irs a 
dictatorship, it will be dominated by one 
minority, but other minorities will not 
be free to move. 

Say I'm in a collectivist society and I 
want to save an endangered species; I 
want to save the heron. | have to per- 
suade people in charge of the gove 
ment to give me money to do it. 1 have 
only one place I can go: and with all the 
ic red tape that would en- 
velop me, the heron would be dead long 
before I ever saw а dollar, if | ever did. 
In a free- i: 
I have to d y 
aire who's willing to put up some do 
xb by God, I can save the heron. 
That's why the variety of minority views 
expressed in the Western world is enor- 
mously broader than in a Soviet society. 
PLAYBOY: Yet our minorities right now are 
criticizing capitalism for many i 
FRIEDMAN: OL course. 
kes the good things 
granted and attributes all the evils of 
the world to the system. In addition, 
many of the difficulties they complain 
bout are the result of Government 
ion, not of the market. 

PLAYBOY: Don't vou think blacks h: 
a legitimate complaint when they sce 
that they cart be hired on an equal 
basis with whites in a job marker that's 
controlled not by the Government but 
by individuals who are freely making 
the choice to discriminate aj 


justices. 
always 
the world for 


Everybody 


nst hen 


FRIEDMAN: Of course they have a com- 
plaint, But are they better or worse 
off than they would be in an alternative 


system? The fact is that blacks are fi 
beer off in the U.S. than they are 
under other systems. Let's get some facis 
straight. The average income of blacks 
here is far higher than the average in 
come of all the people im the Soviet 
Union. The official Government defi 
tion of the poverty line in the U.S. 


higher than the 

Soviet Union: it's higher than the 
come received by ıt ol 
people on the world’s surface. Now. that 
doesn’t mean blacks aren't subject to 


injustice: of course they are. Of course 
there's discrimination. Fm opposed to 
I'd like to see it eliminated. But the 
point is ihar—even with discrimination 
—blacks are far better off under our 


present system than they would be under 


alternative kinds of systems, 
ing the system isn't going to eliminate 
people's prejudices. 

Let me give you a different example. 
The Jews—beeause they were a perse 
cuted people who had the same attitudes 
toward capitalism in the 19th Century as 
many blacks now have toward it in the 
U. S—played a disproportionate role in 
the Communist Party and in achieving 
the Soviet Revolution. They were repre 
sented out of all proportion. Has that 
been good for the Jews? What country 
in the world today engages in the most 
extreme anti-Semitic persecution? The 
Soviet Union. It's not an accident, be- 
cause if you have a society with concen- 
uated power, if you have a collectivist 
society, it's going to be i 
exercise the preferences 
of its rulers. Moreover, it's goin 
an incentive to do so, bec 
to need a scape 
some group like the Jews or the | 
to be the scapegoat. 

1 personally have been very зе 
to this issue because Em Jewish and Fm 
very much. aware of the history of 
Semitism. One of the paradoxes I puzzle 
over is that few people in the world 
have benefited as much as the Jews from 
ficeemterprise capitalism and competi- 
tion. yet few other groups have done so 
much to undermine it intellectually. Let 


me ask you а question, In what institu- 
tion in the U.S. are blacks most dis- 
criminited against? 

PLAYBOY: School: 


FRIEDMAN: Is there any doubt that they're 
more discriminated against in school- 
ing? Is there any doubt, if youve a 
parent in a black ghetto, that the thing 
you will find hardest quire is de 
cent schooling for your child? Is it an 
ecident that the schooling is provided 
by the Government? A black in a ghetto 
who has the moncy cin buy any car he 
wants. But even il he has the money, he 
can't get the shou or at 
"II have to n enormously 
her price for it than a white person 
‘ill, A white person with that income 
e suburb and get the 
schooling he wants. A black person will 
difficulty doing it. 

Let's suppose, on the other hand, that 
you didn't have Government schooling: 
Let's suppose you had the kind of sy 
tem that I'm in favor of, which is a 
system under which the Government, in- 
stead of providing schooling, would give 
every parent а voucher for a sum of 
money equal to what its now spendin 
per child and the parent could spend 
that at any school he wanted to. The 
you'd have privatcenterprise schools de- 
veloped and blacks could buy much bet- 
schooling lor their children. than 
they can get under the Government. 

Under free enterprise, a person who 
has a prejudice has to for that 

(concluded оп page 71) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


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places goes a lot of places. To get him going your way—use PLAYBOY. (Source: 1972 Simmons.) 


New York - Chicago + Detroit + Los Angeles + San Francisco - Atlanta - London + Tokyo 


70 


for some unfathomable reason, the police had suddenly turned 
moral, so the red lights were going out all over singapore 


fiction By PAUL THEROUX 


ONLY YESTERDAY, Singapore was а very 
okl city, not so much in years but in 
looks and attitude. The immigrants had 
transplanted th 


ting Foochow in one district, * 
1d, subdividing further in 
cient towns, had estab- 
To 


another. 3 
anner of 
their endaves of commerce 
there was only one street 
you could buy 
а of the 


lished 


one st 


h Chinese lotels fi 


Muscat Street to М; Street, a seli- 
contained arca. withi orders. of bars. 
ne side and lau 


ws on the other. All 
the excesses of Shan 
n the dream distr 
sage parlors and сос 
Irs jus like a movie!" my Ameri- 
cam clients always said. Ir was this ur 
vor of Chinese vice that attracted 
outsiders and. at the same time, 
released them Irom guilt and doubt. 
This touch of [a like quaint 
erotic art—Joyce Li-Ho. lor instance 
had а tattooed panther leaping up her 
inner thigh 

The sequ 
nese brothel parodied Oi 
iy: the wam welcom 
bowed low from his waist, the | 
a smoke, the chat. the cold tow 


the 


азу. 


ce of ceremony in а Chi- 
ital. hospital- 
as the host 


1. the 


parade of girls to choose from. Money 
changed hands in the bedroom when the 


feller was naked and excited: then came 
the stunt itself. Afterward, there w 
hot towel and a glass of cold tea on the 
veranda while some old amahs ironed 
bed shi nd yapped beyond ihe 

The ese customers, ol course, 
teated all this with perfunctory dis- 
patch—just as we'd drop in for a quick 


hamburger in a lunchconete. But my 
gawki avelers were bent on collect- 
ing a load of mental souvenirs. lt was 


their chance 10 participate in a cultu 
secret, to be alone with an exotic Orice 
tal girl cmonial nakedness, to 
have that alien act of love to describe 
1 years to come. The fa 
1 obedient Chinese 
into the mystery of the 
and all that. I kept a straight face; I 
never mocked them. 

I must say that the show was well pro- 
duced. The girls were noiseless and glit- 
teri narrow as snakes: they looked 
Tike all the male world's idea of the 
Fastern concubine. They posed оғ 


moved as if they were actresses born for 
their role. I knew them better and I had 
a different view. To me. they seemed al- 
l and businesslik: 


з sisting in a minor opera 
tion or ists helpers soothing 
feller during an extraction. They bi 
lieved in ghosts: they had an equal 


kc cheese. 
They did their job convincingly with- 
out having the slightest interest in it 
Lying spread out like all the golden. 
juicy dream of Cathay, they were really 
ded, remote, thinking God 
t thought about firaway mat 
nes, one of them would ask 
serenely, "You. finish. n 
feller w ng. They were sen- 
sh, but 
they 
g themselves in Chinese that 
seldom swore in their own I 
Dirty words stimulated some men 
but lett others cold. 1 remember one i 
the Honey Bar who said, ^I couldn't 
myself to fuck a girl who 
ns sorta crude. 
h an odd sort of 


yes?" wili 


hed in 


spoke amoi 
they 


says 


Is, w 


modest, would refuse to their 
dresses off—and. they 
were much so powes 
seemed to give these cold. quick girls an 


Mure, 
secret hall discovered. 


accidental 


the quaint mystifica 


tion of a 

I knew those girls 100 well to consider 
them simple and kindly, but 1 did admit 
their virtues: obedience. reliability and 
good On one occasion when we 
riding a Launch for a run out 
р. Doris Goh—always present 


never late—stumbled and fell into the 
1 the quayside, She could not 
and she went rigid as she sank. 1 


(drowned, 
her dr 
ked: 


hauled her out. She was h 
streaming with dirty water: 
stuck to her: her make-up was st 
her careful hairdo was now 
rope. I told her tl 
if she wanted to, but she said no and sol 
diered on, eventually earning $40 in uh 
wheelhouse while her dress dried on 
hanger in the engine roc 

My own small patch of virtue, if you 


could call it that. was dedicuion to the 
continued hi nd well-being of my 
Clients. There was the mon of course 


=I wouldn't cul myself a pimp with 
art of gold—but 1 can prove that I 
fellers from harm and m 

brutes. 1 knew the greedy 
cabbies, the curlew districts. controlled 
by the secret societies, the streets wher 
all the pretty girls were actually men 


ILLUSTRATION BY DON LEWIS 


PLAYBOY 


72 


with sharp kukris in their handbags, the 
girls with pox, the sadists, the clip 
joints, the houses you came away from 
with the fungus known as Rangoon itch 
on your pecker. И they carve on n 
gravestone, HE SAVED A LOT OF TELLERS 
FROM KANGOON rren, it might not be the 
most saintly testimony to the dear de- 
parted, but at least it's one good deed in 
this naughty world. Aside from that, I 
took blame: 1 risked police and damna- 
tion; I didn't cheat. Maybe ГЇЇ order my 
gravestone to read, HE WAS A USEFUL 
MAN AND THE TRAVELER'S FRIEND. 


It surprised me—my amusement crepe 
upon by an old slow fear—when 1 
opened the Straits Times and saw, under 
“ISLAND WIDE VICE RING BROREN— JOO 
Cnr RAID NETS 35." a photograph of 
five girls being dragged by the arms 
d a police van while grim Malay 
policemen watched, sturdily planted on 
widely spread bandy legs, holding 
ancheons and riot shields. The girly 
faces were very white from the fl 
hnes and their astonished 
eyel: ere high and black. their 
objecting mouths in the anitude of 
shouting, That they were objecting did 
not surprise me—they were indignant, 
an emotion as understandable in them 
as in any harmless lathe operator yanked 
from his machine, But that particular 
raid was The Joo Chiat 
house was thought to be safe, with a 
Ch tele, protected by the fierce 
ngle secret society, whose spi- 
derlike and. pock-marked members could 
be seen at any time of the day or night 
playing cards by the back entrance, their 
Knives and bearing scrapers close at 
hand. The article in the paper said this 
was “the first in an all-out camp 
aunched by the police to rid the island 
of so-called massage parlors.” 

There were two raids the following 
day; one at an opium den resulted in 
the arrest of seven elderly men, six of 
whose worried, sunken-eyed faces ap- 
peared in the paper; the seventh was 
pictured on a stretcher with his hands 
clasped—he had broken his leg when he 
ipped trying to escape across a steep 
tile roof. The second raid was at a m 
© parlor very close to Muscat. Street, 
where all the girls, and the decor, were 
Thai. The raids disturbed me, but the 
picture 1 made of them in my mind was 
not of the girls—it was the terrifying vi- 
sion of the old addict being hounded 
his p tering rooftop. 

I decided 10 lay low that night at the 
Bandung. "You don't understand the 
political background, Jack," Yates s 
“I'd steer clear of Chinatown if I were 
you." Other club regulars joined in. 


towa 


amas 


Ossa 


"Don't say we didn't warn you," 
Yardley. 

“I newer go to Chinatown," 
"Bloody waste of time. 
Lee’s putting the boot 


“Nothing that concerns you 
Yardley. "So keep out of it 

The next morning, 1 went to see Mr. 
Sim. He seemed suspicious at my 
ing so early and reluctantly let me 
n about the raids. 

be careful,” he said. 
ng, O 


“How 


‘m only putting 
in a couple of hours a day, unless I've 
got business on a ship.” 

“So what you are worried? You got a 
job. neh?" 

“IE you w 
carn peanuts there—littlelittle money. 
I can't bank on 


Better thin in jail 
What are you going to do: 

He didn’t look at me, but he showed 
me his face. He said, "Funny thing. You 
know new wireless I got? Yes? [t don’ 


t 
work now, I enjoy that wireless set, but 
ic need r 
re ате you planning to go?” 


He discovered his shirt and smoothed 
the pockets. 

“They say a lot of the cops a 
clothesmen—you know, 
fellers wearing shirts like mine and 
plain old pants, pretending they want a 
girl. They pay up and just before they 
get into the saddle, they say, “OK, put 
your clothes on. You're under arrest! I 
k that's terrible, don't you 

Mr. $ sted the tail of his shirt 
and he worked his jaw back and forth 
he twi 

"TH level with you, Mr. Sim. The rea- 
son I came over is I've got a plan. We 
know they're trying to close things 
yn—they've already nabbed about a 
dred people. So why wait? Why not 
just put our heads together and set up 
somewhere Like I was telling you- 
We'll go where they least expect us, rent 
a big house up on Thomson Road or 
near a cemetery, get ten girls or so and 
run a real quiet place—put up a sign in 
front saying “Che Wongs’ or ‘Hillcrest’ 
or "Dunroamin: What do you say to 
that 


re plain- 
special-branch 


s 


hu 


1 is a He 
imbecilic. 

"Come on, we haven't got much time. 
Are you interested or пе?” 

“It is a hot da 


expecting my au 


very hot day. went 


lowed—ouly private car 
по syces. Girls by appointment. If you 
think the Dunrcamin idea is silly, we 
can put up a sign sa rial 
School—Typing and Shorthand Les- 
sons” No one'll know the difference.” 
He had twisted his s to а 
k of rope and now he was knotting 
it. "My auntie is very old. I tell her to 
stop so much smoking—forty-over sticks 
а day! But old peoples. Ks!” 
"OK, forget it.” I stood up. 
Mr. Sim let go of his shirt 


and leaped 


to the door. “Bye-bye, Jack. Sec you 
next time. Don't mention; 

That night. I took a feller to Muscat 
Street. 1 had met him in a bar on 5 


ford Road, he had asked me if I knew a 
good "cat house" and 1 had told him to 
follow me. But the house was in dark- 
ness, the shutters were closed and the 
red light over the altar was turned oll. 1 
rapped the lock against the gate bar, but 
no one мйтей. Mr. Sim had run out 
on mc. 

"This looks like a washout,” the feller 
1. "I'm not even in the mood now." 
“They're worried about the cops. 
exe's a political party here that's put- 
ting the heat on—trying to close down 
the whole district. They've got everyone 
scared. It didn't use to be this way, but 
maybe if we walk over- 
Т don't know why it 
ler, “but people are 
"You should have b 


ET 


t 


d the fel- 
ig to me, 
а year. It 


з say 
^n here 


re 

“But you 

gotta understand the political back- 
ground, you see.” 

“Political background is crap,” he 


id. “I'm going back to the ship.” 
“If there's anything else you want, 
anything at all,” I said. “I could find 
you a gal casy enough. Fix you up in a 
hotel. Bed and breaklas 

He shook his head. 


1 had my heart 


set on a cat house.” 

“We could try another one,” I 
“But I don't want you to get in Dutch. 
How would it look if you got your pi 
ture in the papers? Cripe!” 

“Makes you stop and think, don't i?" 
hic said. 

“Sure does," 1 said. "But if there's 
anything else- 

"Naw," he said, he 
laughed and s iu, he 
were trying t0 discourage a thought. 1 
hoping he didn't want a transve 
tite—it would be hours before they'd be 
on Bugis Street. 

What is iU" I asked in a whisper. 
o ahead, игу me. God, you don't want 
© empty-handed, do you 
as just kicking around an 
t popped up," he said, laughing. 

(continued on page 154) 


aid. 


Ese E ЈЕ 


“We'll continue to have a population problem as long 
as screwing is more popular than dying." 


PLAYBOY 


74 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW (continued from page 68) 


prejudice. Suppose I'm going to go into 
business producing widgets and that I'm 
a terrible racist and will hire only whites. 
You're going into business producing 
widgets, too. but you don't give a damn 
about race, so you're going to hire the 
person who's most productive for the low- 
est wage. Which of us is going to be 
able to win out in the competitive race? 
PLAYBOY: That depends on the unions. 
FRIEDMAN: You're departing from com- 
petition. One of the major sources of 
black discrimination has been the un- 
ns, but the unions are an anti-com- 
petitive element: they're a private 
monopoly; they're against the rules of 
free enterprise. 

PLAYBOY: You blame the Government 
for discrimination against blacks in the 
school system because the Government 
controls the schools. But isn't this dis- 
crimination really based on residential 
real-estate patterns that are the result of 
individual choice? 

FRIEDMAN: Yes, to some extent it is. 
But those residential patterns don't 
necessarily imply segregation of school. 
ing. They don't imply segregation of the 
kinds of automobiles people have. They 
don't imply segregation of the kind of 
movies people go to. If you had a free- 
enterprise school system, you'd have a 
much wider variety of schools available 
to blacks—schools of a higher quality. 
Moreover, residential segregation itself 


Let me illustrate. You're а well-to-do 
fellow and you want to send your child 
to a good school. You don't send him 
te school because youre al. 
ready paying taxes for schools and any 
additional money you'd pay for tuition 
wouldn't be deductible. So, instead, you 
get together with some of your friends 
and establish a nice high-income suburb 
and set up a so-called public school that’s 
really a private school. Now you won't 
have to pay twice and the extra amount 
you pay will be in the form of taxes— 
not tuition, which will be permitted as 
а deduction in computing your personal 
income tax, The efect of this will be 
that your children's education will be 
partly subsidized by the poor taxpayers 
in the ghetto. The fact that. schooling 
is generally provided by the state, paid 
for through taxes that are deductible 
in computing the Federal income tax, 
promotes a great deal of residential 
segregation 

"The crucial point is this: In a politi- 
cal system, 51 percent of the people can 
control it. That's an overstatement, of 
course, since no government thats sup- 
ported by only 51 percent of the people 
will do the same things that one sup- 
poned by 90 percent of the people will 
do. But in a political system. everything 
tends to be а yesor-no decision: if 51 


percent vote yes, it's yes. A political sys- 
tem finds it very difficult to satisfy the 
needs of minority groups. It's very hard 
to set up а political arrangement under 
which, if 51 percent of the people vote 
one way and 49 percent vote the other 
way, the 51 percent will get what they 
want and the 49 percent will get what 
they want. Rather, the 49 percent will 
also get what the 51 percent want 

In a market system, if 51 percent of 
the people vote, say, to buy American 
cars and 49 percent of the people vote 
to buy foreign cars and the Government 
lets their votes be effective and doesn't 
impose tariffs, 51 percent will get Amer- 
ican cars and 49 percent will get foreign 
cars. In a market system, if 40 per- 
cent of the people vote that they want 
to send their children to integrated 
schools and 60 percent vote that they 
want to send them to segregated schools, 
40 percent will be able to do what they 
want and 60 percent will be able to do 
what they want. It’s precisely because 
the market is a system of proportional 
representation that it protects the in- 
terests of minorities. It's for this reason 
that minorities like the blacks, like the 
Jews, like the Amish, like SDS, ought 
to be the strongest supporters of free- 
enterprise capitalism. 
clear by now that you 
agree with Thomas Jefferson that the 
government that governs least governs 
best, that you don't think the Federal 
Government should interfere with any 
private, free-market arrangements what- 
soever. But what about such efforts on 
the municipal level? Some communities, 
for example, are trying to keep out 
ions. industry, nuclear power 
plants, and so on, in order to reduce 
the impact of commercialism. Do you 
feel they have this right? 
FRIEDMAN: Of course. What you want 
a world in which individuals have a 
wide variety of alternatives. You want 
pluralism, multiplicity of choice. When 
you get down to small units of goveri 
ment, you have it. If you don’t like what 
one town docs and can't change it, you 
move to another town. You have compe- 
ion among towns for the provision of 
services. No reason you shouldn't. On 
the whole, the formal restrictions. on 
governmental activity should be most se- 
vere at the Federal level, less so at the 
state level and least of all at the local 
level. 
PLAYBOY: Then you aren't an anarchist? 
FRIEDMAN: No. Although I wish the an- 
archists luck, since that's the way we 
ought to be moving now. But 1 believe 
we need Governm to enforce the 
rules of the game. By prosecuting anti- 
trust violations, for instance. We need 
a Government to ain a system of 
courts that will uphold contracts and 
rule on compensation for damages. We 


need a Government to ensure the safety 
of its citizens—to provide police protec 
tion. But Government is failing at a lot 
of these things that it ought to be doing 
because it's involved in so many things 
it shouldn't be doing. 

What we've really been talking about 
all along is freedom. Although a number 
of my proposals would have the imme 
diate effect of improving our economic 
well-being, that's really a secondary goal 
to preserving individual freedom. When 
we began to move toward the welfare 
state back in the Thirties, the juxifica- 
tion was that the defects inherent in 
capitalism jeopardized our economic 
wellbeing and therefore reduced free 
dom. In the ways I've shown, these pro- 
grams have failed, But it’s not enough 
to object to them simply because they 
didn't improve—or, in fact, made worse 
—the situations they were designed to 
correct. We need to resist them on prin- 
ciple. Someone will always come along 
and say the programs failed because they 
were underfunded; or because the wrong 
people were running them. Wage and 
price controls, for example, are unpopu- 
lar with a number of people not because 
they reduce freedom but because they 
aren't worl 

Galbraith said a few years ago that 
there wasn't anything wrong with New 
York City that couldn't be fixed by a 
doubling of the budget. Of course, that's 
happened and things are worse now 
than when he made the remark. So one 
of the things that encourage me just a 
little is the proven inefficiency of gov- 
ernment, regardless of how big it gets. 1 
think people are catching on to it. They 
sensed that McGovern wanted to ride 
still further the wave that was started 
with F.D. R., and they were fed up 
enough with that trend to vote over- 
whelmingly against him, 

PLAYBOY: So you're hopeful? 

FRIEDMAN: Not completely. You have 
to consider the ideological climate. The 
spirit of the times has gone against free- 
dom and continues to go against it 
There are still intellectuals who believe 
that concentrated. power is a force for 
good as long as it's in the hands of men 
of good will Fm waiting for the day 
when they reject socialism, communism 
and all other varieties of collectivism: 
when they realize that a security blan 
ket isn't worth the surrender of our 
individual freedom even if it can be 
ent There are 
s. Even 
some of the who werc 
most strongly drawn to the New Deal 
in the Thirties are rethinking thei 
i dabbling just a litle with 
iple. Theyre moving 
slowly and taking cach stcp as though 
they were exploring a virgin continent. 
But it's not dangerous. Some of us hav 
lived here quite comfortably all along. 


Te Oy 


a dazzling revue starring the talking pictures own susan clark 


Imogene “Bubbles” Wilson (above), a Twenties Follies favorite known as “the most 
beautiful blonde on Broadway.” is the first of the Ziegfeld Girls impersonated here by actress 
Susan Clork. Versatile Susan played Lady Macbeth onstage, is co-starring in Universal's 
Showdown; her favorite screen role, in The Skin Game, cast her as a con woman with multiple 
disguises. “1 think that’s what appealed to me about this feature: a chance to portray several 
fascinating women.” She got interested in the Follies after meeting Ziegfeld designer 
Charles LeMaire. “I sow his scrapbooks and was impressed with the girls’ sensuous quality.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI 


Anna Held (opposite) was the first of the 
Ziegfeld Girls. In fact, some say she inspired 
Ziegfeld, whom she morried in either 1897 

or 1901—reports differ—to stoge the Follies. His 
inventive publicity gimmick, touting milk baths 
as the secret of the silky Held epidermis, 

was a boon to the American dairy farmer. 


Nore: Bayes (above) starred not only in the 
premiere 1907 Follies and its successors but in 

yet another example of Ziggy's promotional 
genius. Nora, it was announced, kept her wasp 
weist by sucking pre-prandial lollipops. The 
greotest of Noro's many hits over the yeors 

was the boisterous Has Anybody Here Scen Kelly? 


Marilyn Miller (cbove), who grew up in the 
proverbial vaudeville trunk, burst onto the 
Follies stage in 1918, when she was 19. 
Widowed tragically at 21, she threw herself into 
a constant social whirl—always an the arms of ot 
least three handsome escorts—ond rapidly 
became known as America’s favarite party girl. 


Kay Laurell (opposite) made Follies—and 
American theatrical—history in 1914, when she 
stood undraped onstage in September Morn, 

first of the nude tableaux presented by the 

Fallies as lifelike imitations of famous paintings. 
Other notable pases had Koy perched atop a huge 
globe and standing at the mouth af a connan. 


spartans of indochina 


to the grunts, the north vietnamese soldiers were little yellow 
men in ambush sites; to the generals, they were an enigma 


article by tom buckley л curious demonstration took 


place one day in August 1969 at an American base camp near 
Saigon. A skinny, shockheaded North Vietnamese stripped to 
his undershorts, dropped to the ground and, quick and grace 
Tul as a snake, crawled 25 yards to the camp's outer defensive 
here were two rolls of concertina barbed wi 
cach about two and a half feet in diameter—taid side by 
side on the red earth and a third roll on top, for 

rough triangle. They were braced with singlestrand 
wire stretched horizontally and diagonally from steel posts 
and were laced with dozens of empty ration cans containing 
loose marbles that rattled an alarm at the slightest pressure. 

When he reached the wire, the Vietnamese paused for a 
moment, quivering like a hunting animal He carefully 
spread (wo strands, then two more. He inched forward, 
paused again; then, expanding, contacting, twisting, he 
seemed to flow through the wire as though he existed 
ferent dimension. In less than a minute he was i 
perimeter. his body untouched by the thou 
without having rattled a single can. 

"The North Viemamese, once a member of а sapper unit— 
the “death volunteers” who chalk their names on their coffins 
before an attack—stood and gazed straight ahead, his face ex 
nless. His staring audience, 200 men, support troops. 

red-faced in the stifling heat, flat-footed and over- 
weight, breathed a collective “Son of a bitch.” They had scen 
а conjuror's trick, and even in broad daylight, standing a few 
feet away, they could not understand how it had been done. 

In his silence, his mastery, his will focused like a bur 
glass, the sapper personified an army that did w 
thought posible: It continued to survive, to fight, even to 
attack, in the face of the greatest concentrations of firepower 
ever used in batle. And ultimately, it seems likely, to wi 
For under the ceasefire plan that is being discussed as this 
is being written in late November, North. Vietnamese forces 
will remain in South Vietnam, masters of a field from which 
the American forces will have depart 

Strangest of all is the fact that in the nearly seven years 
ce the first troops of the People’s Army—matching the 
American build-up—began the long march to the south, so 
little has been learned about them. The Viet Cong, who were 
all southerners, were different. They were men and youths 
from the next hut, the next hamlet or the district beyond the 
river. Not many of them can have survived. But the North 
Vietnamese have remained cloaked in mystery, as though 
their secret weapon was a machine for clouding the mind 
of the West 

The record of wrong guessing is so complete, unbroken, 
final that it defies the odds: like being dealt 100 poker hands 
without a pair. “I personally . . . underestimated the persist- 
ence and tenacity of the North Vietnamese,” said former Sec- 
etary of State Dean Rusk werview not long ago. That 
will do for a beginning. The Pentagon papers are an anthol 


ogy of incomprehension. The beginning of wisdom came 
in January 196 National Security Study Memorandum 
Number One, prepared for the incoming President Nixon 
and made public recently by Jack Anderson. “As far as our 
knowledge of how Hanoi thinks and feels, we sec through a 
glass darkly, if at all,” was the consensus view of the military 


community. A praiseworthy admission of ice, but 
strange, too, when we possess spinning satellites, black- 
painted reconnaissance planes whose cameras shoot miles of 


high-resolution film, infrared lighting, thousands of sensor de- 
vices that can detect the amm a water buffalo 
hitting a flat rock will trigger a B52 mission from Guam— 
communications intercepts, Computers to untangle Vietnamese 
codes, jungle s double agents, across-the-border penet 
tion teams. 

Yet as the technology has been refined, the errors have 
multiplied. The pivotal Tet ойе 1 


South Vietnamese army went adventuring in Cambodia. One 
of its major objectives was COSVN, the Central Office for 
South Vietnam, the senior headquarters for the condua of 
the war from the environs of Saigon to the tip of the Ca Mau 
Peninsula in the distant, haunted south of mangrove swamps. 
low-lying paddies and sodden jungle. The South Vietnamese 
found some ammu ng tennis shoes, some sheds 
and rough bamboo furniture, but no sign of that under- 
ground city of arsenals, conference rooms and barracks— 
early a vision of hell itself—that President Nixon had 
conjured on television. Does COS dimension 
inaccessible to us? 

The next year. it was Laos. The South V 
west on Highway Nine toward Tchepone, and right off the 
map. There were North Vietnamese in the trees and the 
roots, tunneled under the landing zones, waiting, 
One night an entire South Vietnamese headqu 
appeared. And at the end of it, the South Vietnamese i 
uy, desperate with the fear of ghosts, streamed back to Khe 

th, clinging to the skids of helicopters, piled on tar 
simply running. barefoot. their boots tied by the laces around 
their necks and bouncing on their chests 

Then, in April of last year, the biggest surprise of all. Ten 
divisions, or something like it, with tanks and armored per- 
sonnel carriers at An Loc, at Kontum. and in the Demilitarized 
Zone. Unheard-of concentrations of artillery, tens of thousands 
of rounds of ammunition. all this weaponry deployed 
crecy. Only five weeks previously, Secretary of Defense Melvin 
Laird had told the Senate Forcign Relations Committee that 

j ctivity was anticipated, each inept word 
popping out of his tiny mouth like a bubble of swamp gas. 

Before last April, few had ever seen the North Vietnam 
ese alive. From the tall watchtower at Gio Linh you could 
look through binoculars and see, (continued on page 116) 


патеѕе rode 


ILLUSTRATION BY KATHY CALDERWOOD 


81 


If you wish to tie on unbreokable bond, seek out, at the height of an especially sunny 
midsummer doy, periwinkle blossoms. Brush—lightly—with poppy-flower powder and odd 
а musk-and-lime mixture. When dry, sprinkle it all on a bouquet of peonies ond send it 
quickly to your lover. If she wasn't expecting orchids, she'll never forget you or your gift. 


A spoonful of the following recipe ossures everlasting love: one dove’s heart, one sporrow's 
liver, а swallow's womb and a hare's kidney. Dry until reduced to a fine ash. With on un- 
used knife, cut your finger and moisten the ash with several drops of blood. It would probably be wise not to tell your lover the ingredients. 


On Saint John’s Eve, go to a Componula patch ond pick one. If your previous importunities have given you strong reoson to sus- 
Shape the plant into a cylinder and corry it, wropped in linen, pect that the lody of your desire is frigid, sloy a newborn rom 
next to your heart for ten days. Grind up the plant and sprinkle or hare end distill the blood. Then invite her for tea and secretly 
over condy or flowers. Give them to your lody; she'll be over- mix a small dosage in her cup. After o sip, she should become 
whelmed by your love—if she doesn't first succumb to nausea. extremely amorous; if she doesn't, you had best lock elsewhere. 


82 


IN SEARCH OF 
LOVE'S SURE THING 


having trouble making the grade? try a powder, an 
herb, or maybe a platypus heart will turn the trick 


тикошон THE AGES, man has searched not for the Holy Grail but for the опе, true 
aphrodisiac that actually works. How mind-boggling to think that a discreet drop 
or a tablet or a sly dose of some obscure powdered herb guarantees instant surrender. 
Artist Doug Taylor, while doing a little purely academic delving into the arcane, 
discovered that, in days past, aphrodisiac formulas were often outrageously com- 
plicated, requiring items that the impassioned pursuer was not going to find in ye 
olde medicine cabinet. They were a far cry from the more recent Spanish tly, a 
relatively simple but notoriously potent potion ("Well, no, I never used it myself, 
but Î know someone who knows a guy whose cousin slipped some into this broad’s 
drink and, I mean, what can I tell you . . .”) guaranteed to produce instant lust- 


Besides piercing hearts, mythology’s old- 


ful cravings in unsuspecting young things. Taylor was inspired to share some of ge ee re 
his tidbits with others who might be interested; he has augmented them with sym- forms an equally important function as 
bolic illustrations that add visual spice to age-old recipes for stirring up passions. a powerful protector from the evil eye. 


Mix together scammony, Romon camomile, cod bones end tortoise shell. Heot, then cool. Add male-beaver fat, flower oil and boil. Add 
honey, poppyflower dew, opium and tobacco; bottle and place in sun for 95 days. Then store in cellar, under sand, for o season. 
Smeor mixture over genitals before going to bed. We guarantee that you'll soon have swarms of either women or flies hovering around. 


Be aware that the mandrake’s root is с charm for those wishing children. 
(Its fruit is also known as the love apple.) The root is used os an ingredient 
in love philters. Some believe that the mandrake is endawed with hu- 
mon life and feels poin. Be very gentle when picking a mandrake. 


Catch a fat, green frog. Burn its legs and place the ashes in 
falded virgin parchment. Carry this packet on a card around 
your neck for 30 days. You will be barraged with propositions 
from lustiul women. When you finally give your body to one 
of them, remove the parchment packet or you'll crackle in bed. 


Two-timers, beware the осот. A forsaken lady who gathers а bit of oak with an acorn, plus о 
sprig of ash, and places it under her pillow for three nights while reciting a poem thot 
begins “Acorn cup and ashen key / Bid my true love back to те" always retrieves her mon. 


84 


If you have on olectorio stone, you're 
quite fortunote—and determinedly weird. 
Alectoriae grow only in the ventricles of 
cocks costroted ot the age of three. The 
beon-sized stone will give you fame and 
weolth and assuronce of o person's love. 


А womon receiving a man's words of 
love neor a blockthorn bush moy 
look forword to o long marrioge. 
Be sure you recognize the foliage. 


If you desire a woman's offection, feed her olives. If she 
consumes a sufficient quontity of the fruit sprinkled with 
chay-herb powder ond o grain of dried mustard seed, 
you will have her odoration for the rest of your doys— 
if thor’s what you had in mind. Better think it over. 


The word is out that ocquiring a tattoo 
of any design is a sure meons of increasing 
one's virility or sexual attraction, although 
some locotions work better than others. 


If a woman ploces seven beons in o 
cirde on the ground ond you walk 
over them, you'll be irresistibly 
drawn to her. So wotch your step. 


Part two of a new crime novel 


SYNOPSIS: THE piccER: Aka Jerry Do- 
herty; he is one of those hard Harps. 
You want a Zenith stereo or an RCA 
AccuColor, he can sell it to you very 
cheap. If it doesn’t burn you when you 
touch it. You want a clean job of break- 
ing and entering, you see the Digger. 
Right now, every litile bit helps, be- 
cause he is in $18,000 worth of trouble. 
He went to Las Vegas on one of those 
package tours the other day, one thing 
or another happened, and he had to sign 
some paper before he left. 

THE BRIGHT RED: A bar in Dorchester 
the Digger owns; this is one thing he 
won't sell or mortgag. 

AGATHA DOHERTY: She's married to the 
Digger, and there are some things that 
bother her. For instance, where does he 
ро at night when the rest of the family 
has gone to bed? Or the $1100 he told 
her he lost in Vegas. 

FATHER PAUL DOHERTY: Hector of the 
Church of the Holy Sepulchre; the Dig- 
gers brother; weight, 290 pounds. He 
lives in a comfortable rectory, has а 
cottage at Onset, goes to Ireland in the 
fall. He has bailed the Digger out of 
trouble before this. 

HARRINGTON: He spends a lot of time 
in The Bright Red talking to the Digger. 
He could use about 35 big ones to buy 
the boat his wife has been after him 
about for the past eight years. His 
principal trouble is he’s got a big mouth. 

RICHIE TORREY, aka Croce Torre, and 
MILLER SCHABE: They run а package-tour 
business, sometimes for the Holy Name 
Society or the Knights of Columbus, but 
the main idea is to fill the planes up 
with suckers headed for some place with 
casinos in il. The organization put them 
in this business, but thetr trouble is, they 
got the Greek along with it. 

THE GREEK: He has lots of muscles as a 
result of working out at the Y every 
morning before breakfast. They are not 
bad to have in the juice business, where 
some people object to the high rates of 
interest the Greek charges on things like 
gambling debis from Vegas. He has the 
paper on the Digger. He is going to 
see the Digger very soon. 


By George V. Higgins 


discere 


game 


A TAN STUCCO WALL, eight feet high and 
capped with red tiles, shields the Church 
of the Holy Sepulchre from the noise of 
very light traffic on Larkspur Street in 
Weston. The driveway openings in the 
wall were built to accommodate LaSalles 
and Zephyrs. 

Before noon the Digger eased the broad 
Oldsmobile through, reminding himself 
that he had managed the entrance before 
without gouging a fender. 

The Digger parked at the edge of the 
oval drive, brushing the right fender 
with the heavy green foliage of the rho- 
dodendrons. Blood-colored hedge roses, 
pruned severely square, bloomed along 
the inside wall. Ponderous hydrangeas 
in white wooden tubs drooped before 
the roses. The air was crowded with fat 
honeybees around the flowers. On the 
lawns an underground sprinkling system 
put up low, whispering fountains in the 
sunlight; a few corpulent robins walked 
in the spray, shaking their feathers now 
and then. In the shade of tall black 
maples at the end of the lawns, a silky 
silver Weimaraner arose and padded off 
toward the rear of the rectory. Keeping 
a close watch for bees, the Digger walked 
to the door of the stucco rectory, pushed 
the bell and sighed. 

Mrs. Herlihy was about to turn 60. 
She was gradually putting on fesh. She 
dressed in blue, simple suits, and might 
have been the hostess of a small tearoom 
known for its delicate pastries. Escorting 
the Digger toward the study, she said: 
“You could be twii 

In the study, the Digger looked at the 
muttontripped. glassfront bookcases 
and the seven-foot carved-cherry desk. 
The carpet was a rose-colored Oriental; 
it took the sun nicely where the French 
doors opened onto the flagstone terrace. 
At the corner of the terrace there were 
four potted tree roses; a small gray bird 
perched on one of them and sang. 

“I hate that woman,” the Digger said 
when Paul came into the study. 

“Mrs. Herlihy?” Paul said. “I think 
the world of her. She runs the house 
perfectly. She has a very pleasant man- 
ner. I think sometimes we ought to 


nothing personal, but when you 
don’t make good your markers, 
a guy shows up with a louisville 
slugger to break your kneecaps 


ordain Mrs. Herlihy and let her rake 
over the rest of the work. 1 haven't said 
that to Mrs. Herlihy" Paul wore a 
paleyellow LaCoste sport shirt and 
white slacks. He wore white slip-on shoes, 
no socks. 

"You had your hair cut," the Digger 
said. “It's different. 105, it’s a different 
color. You're touching it up. I goua 
hand it to you, Paul, you look like a 
bishop. You live like a bishop, too. Not 
bad at all. I'm in the wrong line of work 
is what I think.” 

“Oh, come on," Paul said, “you do all 
right. A workingmen's bar in Dorchester? 
That's like a private gold mine. If Pa'd 
had something e that, he would've 
been in seventh heaven." 

"He would've been in some kind of 
heaven,” the Digger said, "and a lot 
sooner, too. Or else maybe down to the 
Washingtonian, drying out. He had 
enough trouble staying off the tea as it 
was. He hadda bar, I think he would've 
been pickled all the time. In addition to 
which it's no soft touch, you know. 
things the way they are. New law now, 
we gotta serve broads. Guys don't like 
it, guys’ wives don't like it, I agree with 
them: Booze and broads don't mix. Also, 
I gotta put in another toilet, which is 
going to run me a good three thousand 
before I'm through and I lose space, too. 
Time 1 get it, it'll be time for Father 
Finn's regular sermon about the evils of 
drink and that'll fall the trade off for a 
week or two. It's no pi Paul." 

"1 could speak to her Finn, if 
you want,” Paul said. 

"Ed rather you didn't" the Digger 
said. "It gets Aggie upset and all, and it 
costs me money, but it also don't encour- 
age anybody else, thinking about going 
to the Licen: for another joint. Ask 
him instead how he likes the ghinny 
assistant." 

‘Still your old tolerant self, I see, 
Jerry," Paul said. 

“I been around," the Digger said, "I 
work hard, 1 seen a few things. I can 
think what I want. 1 don't like ghinnies 
is all. 1 got reasons.” 

“Heaven's (continued on page 92) 


ILLUSTRATION BY WARREN LINN 


88 


BEN BURNSIDE, who worked in a mobile- 
home plant just outside town, and Myr- 
tle Harrison, a waitress at the Golden 
Doughnut Lounge, were, to their aston- 
ishment and delight, the codiscoverers of 
what the Kwik Klean Karwash was real- 
ly good for. As it happened, they were 
in an amorous mood in the first place, 
and never would have stopped at Kwik 
Klean on their way to Ben's apartment 
if he hadn't been a fanatic about thc 
cleanliness of his Pontiac Bonneville. So 
Myrtle was already over on Ben's side of 
the front seat when the Pontiac was 
hooked up by the attendant and started 
moving through the washing tunnel. 

“It’s really cozy in here," Myrtle whis- 
pered in Ben's ear. 

“Ummm,” Ben said, starting to toy 
with her hair. 

"Hey" Myrtle said, nuzzling closer. 
"That's nice the way the water sprays 
on the windows. Gives me goose bumps.” 

Ben drew her closer. Another set of 
nozzles spurted water on the Pontiac. 
Then brushes filled with soapsuds 
started to massage the windows. “Hey, 
wow," Myrtle said. 

"Yeah. wow," Ben said. As he pulled 
her down onto the seat, they could hear 
more water from the nozzles of the rinse 
section playing on the roof. "Wow!" 

‘The blast of hot air at the drier end 
of the tunnel would have found them 
on the floor under the dashboard if 
Ben hadn't caught his ear painfully on 
the gearshift on the way down. Sud- 
denly, they were in bright sunlight and 
two attendants were wiping off the last 
traces of water with chamois. Myre 
hastily rearranged her dothes. 

“Thavll be a dollar," a voice at the 
window said. Ben stared out at the 
sullen-looking hulk who doubled as 
chief chamois man and cashier. 

"We want to go again," Ben said. 

“Very funny, buddy,” the cashier said. 

"No, really. Once again," Ben said. 
Myrtle nodded enthusiastically. 

“If you're trying to say we didn’t get 
the dirt off this heap," the cashier said, 
“let me tell you that ten thousand Red 
Chinese coolies could work their asses 
off all day and they couldn't do nothing 
with the scum you got on that fender.” 

Ordinarily, a slighting remark about 
his Pontiac would have sent Ben Burn- 
side into a rage, but his tone grew eve 
more ingratiating. “No complaints," he 


humor By Й 


CALVIN TRILLIN 
faster than you could say “auto erotica,” 


the kwik klean karwash became 
the kommunity’s kapital of kinkiness € 


“You fellas did a real fine job. We 
just want to go again. Please.” 
“This ain't the Ferris wheel,” 
cashier said. 
lease, mister,” Myrtle said. 
“OK, go again if you want,” the cash- 
jer said, shaking his head in wonder- 
ment. “But 1 ain't responsible.” 
So they went again. And again. 


the 


Marty Slovin, the owner of the Kwik 
Klean Karwash, found out what his car 
wash was really good for just as he was 
about to give up for good on his dreams 
of a Slovin business dynasty. For years, 
he had had dreams of establishing a big 
business that would gradually be handed 
over to the care of his son, Michael. In 
his fantasies, he could even sec the ar- 
ticles that would appear in the business 
magazines about the Slovin father-and- 
son team. Marty Slovin, they would say, 
was a businessman who had worked his 
way up from nothing—the kind of boss 
who, as chairman of the board of a far- 
flung corporation, still was not afraid to 
get in there and work with his hands 
himself, the kind of boss who had once 
known every man on the line by his first 
name. His son, Michael, would be por- 
wayed as the best of the new-style 
businessmen—a graduate of the Harvard 
Business School, maybe, or the Wharton 
School, who, working hand in glove with 
his brusque but lovable old man, had 
introduced the electronically operated 
machinery and computerized quality 
control that kept the Slovin empire a 
jump ahead of the competition. 

Slovin did know every man on the 
line by his firs name, because business 
at the Kwik Klean Karwash had never 
necessitated having more than four men 
on the line. He had never been in a 
business he was able to expand, nor 
even a business he could keep from con- 
trading. He had failed with lawn-seed 
distribution, nonstick cookware and 
men’s hats from Honduras, When Slovin 
thought of his old dreams of a business 
dynasty, he could take consolation only 
in the fact that his son seemed too wit- 
less to take over a bi 
chael appeared to be interested only in 
an endless succession of exoticlooking 
girls who qualified as what he called 
"kinky." The closest Michael had come 
to Harvard Business School was an 
arrest for lascivious cohabitation іп 


Cambridge with a flamboyant blonde. 

‘Then, just as Slovin was about to ac 
cept the inevitability of his business fail. 
ure, he began to notice odd changes in 
the routine of the Kwik Klean Karwash. 
It became obvious that there were more 
couples than usual. Business was picking 
up a bit during late-evening hours. He 
noticed that some people were asking to 
go through the tunnel twice, or even 
three times. One evening, Slovin sta- 
tioned himself at the end of the tunnel 
to try to figure out what was going on. 
The expression on the faces of the first 
two couples out told him. He realized 
that his big business opportunity had fi 
nally arrived. He resolved not to lose it 
by hasty action but to exploit it cau- 
tiously and systematically. The first step, 
he figured, was to expand his audience 
from the mobile-home- crowd with. 
out alerting the authorities or inspiring 
competition. What he needed to do, he 
decided, was to plant the secret of the 
car wash in the mind of someone who 
circulated among the people who might 
be interested in trying a new sex thrill 
Marty Slovin suddenly smiled, realizing 
that the first step could be taken that 
very evening at the family dinner table. 

As usual that evening, the Slovins 
began dinner silently. Mrs. Slovin was 
eating slowly, her expression as she 
gazed at her son making it obvious that 
the only pleasure she expected in a long 
evening of listening to business prob. 
lems was the pleasure of watching good, 
healthy food being consumed by Mi- 
chael, whom she still thought of as her 
innocent little boy. Michael, wearing a 
buckskin jump suit and what Slovin 
took to be either large rings or small 
brass knuckles. was gobbling down his 
food with the vacant expression he wore 
in the presence of his parents. 

"As if I didn't have enough trouble,” 
Slovin began in his usual way, noting as 
he said it that the phrase evoked the 
customary sigh from his wife. "As il 
I didn't have enough trouble, they're 
using the car wash for screwing.” 

“Martin!” Mrs. Slovin said. "Not in 
front of the boy!" 

“As if I didn't have enough trouble,” 
Slovin went оз Someone found out 
there's some special thrill in there." 

Michael, for the first time in years, 
looked at his father with attentiveness. 


Carson Burns, the district attorney, 
was silent. He had just been told by 
Francis McGuire, his number-one inves- 
tigator, that an automatic car wash 
within his jurisdiction was being used 
for purposes of fornication. McGuire 
thought at first the district attorney had 
not heard him or, perhaps, was in shock. 
‘Not just fornication,” McGuire went 
on, “Kinky-type fornication.” 

Caron Bums sighed. 
amazing,” he finally said. “It is truly 
amazing the length to which citizens of 
this country will go in order to break 
the law or flout the accepted standards 
of public morality.” 

McGuire merely nodded, having heard 
the district attorney say precisely the 
same thing when he learned that the 
American Legion post was considering a 
plan to put slot machines in its club- 
house and when he learned about the 
girl who had emerged from the cake at 
the fire chief's retirement party. Carson 
Burns interpreted his duties so strictly 
that he had once raided the Wheelchair 
Vets Association's illegal bingo game 
— taking along ramps to facilitate wheel- 
ing the veterans into the paddy wagon. 
After the bingo raid, he had become 
known around town as Carson the Par- 
son. McGuire had no doubt that Carson 
the Parson Burns would do everything 
in his power to close the Kwik Klean 
Karwash. 

“A car wash," Burns was saying, al- 
imself, as he reached for his 
It is truly amazing.” 

Two weeks after Marty Slovin had 
used his own dinner table to let out the 
word on the car wash, business had al- 
ready improved enough to necessitate 
the hiring of two more attendants for 
the latenight trade. Slovin restrained 
himself from raising the car-wash price 
to $1.25, instead installing a small sign 
next to the drier section that said rerides 
were only 75 cents. Two weeks after he 
put the sign up, he felt confident enough 
to talk to his supplier about extending 
the wash tunnel. 

“To be perfectly frank with you, Mr. 
Slovin, I don't think it would pay you to 
get an extension to this unit," the sup- 
plier’s sales representative said after 
a thorough inspection of the tunncl. 
“You're not going to improve your wash 
quality too much, no matter how long 
you make the unit, and your overhead is 
going to go sky-high—electricity, main- 
tenance, and what all. I'd have to advise 
you against it.” 

I'm a perfectionist,” Slovin said. 

Two weeks after the tunnel had been 
extended, Slovin arranged to have the 
belt machinery dowed a bit each day so 
that eventually the cars were traveling 
twice the distance at half the speed. 
‘Then, a week later, with no announce- 
ment or fanfare, he took down the sign 


It is truly 


most to h 


lawbooks. 


that said KWIK KLEAN KARWASH and put 
up one that said SLO-N-E-Z KARWASH. 

^] don't suppose we could get them 
for running a disorderly house," Carson 
Burns was saying, almost wistfully. 

“Its more like a tunnel, Chief," 
McGuire said. 

Carson Burns sighed. He had already 
investigated and rejected a dozen differ- 
ent statutes for possible use against the 
Slo-N-E-Z Karwash, including the state 
law on corrupting the morals of a minor 
("But cleanliness is next to godliness, 
Chief" McGuire had reminded him) 
and the city ordinance placing a limit 
on water usage during periods of offi- 
cially declared drought. Nothing seemed 
to fit “I will find some way to close 
that car wash,” Burns said to McGuire. 
"m sure you will, Chief," McGuire 
said. "Meanwhile, ГЇЇ just run the Olds 
through over there now and again, just 
to keep my eye on things. 


Marty Slovin sat contentedly in 
fice, gazing at the line of cars waiting to 
submit themselves to the leisurely wash- 
ing system of the Slo-N-E-Z Karwash. 
There was no doubt about the word's 
being out. Slovin suspected that those 
who disapproved of what was going on 
had avoided saying so publicly on the 
theory that attacks would just draw the 
attention of whatever small percentage 
of the population was not in on the 
secret already. Most of the cars in the 
line contained a couple—a man and 
a woman or two men or two women 
Ыш some had two couples and one 
spotlessly clean Volkswagen camper had 
four. Slovin spotted his son, Michael, 
now one of the regulars, in a Ferrari 
with a horsy-looking girl and a one- 
armed bearded midget who was wearing 
a dress. The radio in Slovin's office was 
playing the new local hit recorded by 
the country-and-western group that ap- 
peared Fridays and Saturdays at thc 
Golden Doughnut I Don't Want to 
Wash My Car No More. Slovin found 
himself humming along with the chorus: 


The fenders are so dirty it’s а pity, 

The dust is piled like blankets on 
the floor. 

Since you left me in this lonely city, 

1 don't want to wash my сат по more. 


Slovin had been pleased to 
that a local fundamentalist minister who 
had once been a steady customer no 
longer came into the car wash—that, in 
fact, the minister had made his stand on 
the issue clear by permitting his car to 
become caked with dirt. The young cou 
ples who were considered the local 
style setters, on the other hand, were 
driving cars that had been washed so 
constantly they were in danger of losing 
their enamel. Slovin had heard indi 
rectly that the way to ask the question 
young men always asked each other 


about young women in places like the 
Golden Doughnut had become, "Will 
she wash?" 

"I don't suppose we could make them 
get a cabaret license," Carson Burns said 
to McGuire. 

"I guess not, Chief,” McGuire said. 
“Some of the crowds I've seen going in 
there in sports cars must be doing some 
acrobatics, but it's not like anyone's 
charging anyone to watch them. 

"In Minnesota, a Federal court 
upheld a district attorney who closcd 
one of those hotbed hotels by using 
an ordinance against false registration 
to arrest anyone who used a fictitious 
name,” Burns said. “I suppose they 
would consider it going too far to re- 
quire people to register at a car wash." 

“I guess they might, Chief," McGuire 
said. 

Carson Burns remained silent for a 
while. "It is truly amazing,” he finally 
said. “There doesn't seem to be any way 
we can prevent the operation of that car 
wash." 

"Maybe not, Chief," McGuire said. 
“Well, me and the missus will drop by 
there a couple of times a week, just to 
keep our hand in. 

Marty Slovin was a happy man, He 
realized that no action against the car 
wash by Carson the Parson in three 
months of operation meant that he must 
have given up. Slovin remained cautious, 
but gradually he began to put in a few 
changes. Whenever a chamois man quit 
—which happened less often than it had 
in the Kwik Klean days—he was re- 
placed by a chamois girl. Slovin even 
began to consider the possibility of 
advertising Slo-N-E-Z as “an adult car 
wash.” Then, four and a half months 
after Ben Burnside and Myrtle Harrison 
had discovered the secret of the Kwik 
Klean Karwash and handed Marty Slo- 
vin his one big opportunity, business 
began to drop. 

Slovin discovered the reason as he was 
driving aimlessly around the city, trying 
to think of what could have gone wrong. 
A mile away from Slo-N-E-Z, someone 
had constructed, seemingly overnigi 
what at first glance appeared to be an 
elongated. night club but turned out to 
be a sleek car-wash tunnel of a length 
that was the equivalent of at least five 
city blocks. A huge neon sign on the 
street said: CARWASHEROTICA—THE SUPER 
SOOTHINGLY SLOW CAR-WASH EXPERIENCE. 
A sign on the way from the street to the 
tunnel said: HAVE YOUR ENAMEL MAS- 
SAGED BY DANISH BRUSHES AND JAPANESE 
WATER JETS—ALL ELECTRONICALLY OPER- 
Атер. А large sign at the tunnel said 
COMPUTERIZED QUALITY CONTROL. 
Standing next to it, directing opera 
ions with casual waves of his riding 
crop, was Michael Slovin. 


91 


PLAYBOY 


92 


diggOer's FAME (continued from puge 56) 


going to be hard for you,” Paul said. 
“They're nowhere near as selective as 
you are, from what I hear. 
" the Digger said, “I heard 
that, too. I didn't hear it from Father 
Finn, of course, but I see Alioto's work- 
ing around to that cvery so often. Coons 
and everything. "Course, that's only true 
if there's anything to the rest of it, shade 
just doesn't go down and that's the end 
of you." 

"You're not sure?" Paul said. 

"Put it this way,” the Digger said, "if 
they got that thing and all, it’s not 


crowded. І sure don't know that many 
guys I'd expect to find there.” 
“You expect to get the chance to look, 
1 


posed to do, and she laid off the other 
stuff, and she put up with Pa and me. 
So, and that other thing, she had a son 
a priest, which is the free ticket, the way 
I get it. So, its all true, Ma is OK. Now, 
me, I figure the one chance 1 got is to 
kick off when it's raining—no golf, a 
weekday, say in April, no ball game, 
middle of the afternoon, so you already 
had your nap. I see it coming, I'm 
gonna say: ‘Aggie, gimme the chaplain, 
baby. Call over to Saint Hilary's, Father 
Finn ain't in, try the Lutherans and 
then the Jews. Worst comes to worst, the 
black fella down in the store Columbus 
Ave., under the el.’ Because that’s the 
only chance | got, somebody comes by 
when I'm too weak to get in any more 


trouble and wipes it all off, says: ‘Let 
him in, God. He made Ma, Ma 
could've died a closet when the 


Broonsre playing Canadiens. there isn't 
a priest for miles. She still would've 
been all right. Maureen's inna convent. 
She goes and they say: ‘Let her in, works 
for the Boss.’ Kathy? Kathy married the 
Corola wine company. Either she goes 
straight to hell for marrying the wop or 
she goes straight to heaven for living 
with the wop, I forget which Ma finally 
decided. Either way, nothing she can 
do about it. You got the retirement 
plan. Me, I gotta be realistic. I go at 
a time when I can't get the house call, 
I'm sunk.” 

Does it bother you?" Paul said. 
"Yeah," the Digger said, "a little.” 
"Enough to do something about it?” 
said. 

"No," the Digger said, "not enough 
for that. I figure, I make it, great. They 
gotta, there's gotta be some reason they 
call it paradise. І don't make it, it's 
there to be had, well, too bad, at least 
ГИ see all my friends in the other place. 
And if there isn't no place, either kind, 
well, at least 1 didn't waste no time 
worrying about it.” 


“I think that’s a healthy attitude.” 
Paul said. 

“Yeah,” the Digger said. 

“I do," Paul said. “It’s not that far off 
from mine. The way I look at it, I'm 
telling people what I really believe to be 
true. But maybe it isn't true. All right. 
If they do what I tell them, and it's true, 
I've done a lot of good. That makes me 
feel good. If they do what I tell them, 
and it isn’t true, what've they lost? 
There's nothing wrong with the model 
of Christian life, even if there isn't any 
jackpot at the end. It’s an orderly, dig 
fied way to live, and that’s not a bad 
thing.” 

“I don't think that’s what Ma thought 
you were up to when you got ordained, 
there,” the Digger said 

"Fm sure it wasn't,” Paul said. "Ma 
was a good, simple woman. I don't think 
it's what I was up to when I got or- 
dained.” 

“That’s nice talk,” the Digger said. 

“I didn’t mean anything," Paul said. 
“L mean it: She knew what she believed 
in, and she believed in it. I'd give a 
great deal today for a church full of 
people like her. I offer Mass at least 
twice a week for the repose of her soul.” 

“Now, there's something I could use,” 
the Digger said, “a little of that repose 
of the soul. That'd be just the item." 

“Well,” Paul said, "you had yourself 
a little excursion a week or so ago. 


"Things can't be that bad. 

“How'd you hear that?” the Digger 
said. 

“1 ran into Aggie,” Paul said. "1 had 


some business at the chancery and then 
I took the trolley in town and went to 
see Father Francis at the shrine, take 
him to lunch. Aggie was coming out 
when I went in. She had Patricia with 
her. Those are beautiful children, my 
nephews and niece, even if I am their 
uncle.” 

“I wonder what the hell she was doing 
in there,” the Digger said. “She didn’t 
tell me she was in tow 

"You were away,” Paul said. "I sup- 
pose she figured, well, the cat's away. 
Here's my chance to get roaring drunk. 
So, naturally, she stopped in at the 
shrine with your daughter to get things 
off to a proper start. She said you were 
out in Las Vegas and she was in shop- 
ping and stopped in at the shrine to say 
a prayer for your safe return. Nothing 
sinister about that, is there?" 

“No,” the Digger said, “I didn't mean 
that. I just didn't know she was in there 
is all. She can do what she likes.” 

“How'd you happen to be in Las 
Vegas?” Paul said. 

“Oh, you know,” the Digger said, 
"one thing and another. | know this 
guy, he's inna travel busines, he had 


this deal, he had some room onna planc, 
and did me and some of the guys want 
to go? So, you know, we hear a lot about 
Vegas, yeah, we'll go. So, you pay five 
bucks, you join this club, then they can 
give you the plane fare practically for 
nothing. They got this kind of a special 
deal with the hotel, so, really, it’s pretty 
cheap, you do it that way. It’s almost all 
the way across the country and all. You 
get your meals, couple of drinks, you 
сап play golf. I played golf. It's really а 
preity good deal." 

"You like Vegas, huh?" Paul said. 

“It's pretty hot" the Digger said. 
"During the day, it was awful hot. See, 
that's one of the reasons you can get the 
rate, going out this time of усаг. It's so 
hot a lot of people don't want to go. So 
the hotels, you know, they pay part of 
But it was still hot. One of the days 
it got up to a hundred and fifteen. 
I wouldn't want to live there. I just 
wanted to see what it was like." 

"Of course, the main attraction's the 
gambling,” Paul said. 

‘Well, but they have a lot of bij 
entertainment there, too,” the Digger 
said. 

“Who'd you see?" Paul said. 

"It. was kind of funny, actually," the 
Digger said. “1 was going to, they had 
this opera fellow that was supposed to 


sing there, Mario Lanza?" 
“Ма wa's been dead about ien 
years," Paul said. 


"Must've been somebody else, then,” 
the Digger said. "Like I say, I forget his 
name. Anyway, he was sick. Nero. Fran- 
co Nero?” 

“The only one I ever heard of,” 
said, “was Corelli 
there.” 

“I dunno,” the Digger said. “Whoever 
it was, he was sick. So they just had, it 
was some guys I never heard of. They 
had a comedian and they had this floor- 
show and a guy sang popular.” 

“Did you by any chance do some gam- 
bling, Jerry?” 

"Well, yeah," 
some gambling; 

“How much gambling did you do?" 
Paul said. 

"Now, look," the Digger 
bling. you know, I done 
know where Suffolk is, the Rock, Gan- 
sett. 1 even bet оппа baseball game now 
and then. I didn't, I know about gam- 
bling, Paul. J didn't have to go all the 
way out to Vegas to gamble. 

“Well, that’s tue, of course,” 
Did you win or lose?” 
lost,” the Digger said. 

“You lost 

“Look,” the Digger said, "I'm not one 
of them guys comes around and he's al- 
ways telling you he won. People lose 
gambling. I lost." 

“That's why they run gambling, I 

(continued on page 138) 


Paul 
1 doubt he sings out 


the Digger said, "I did 


Paul 
зай 


E 


food OY TOOMAS 09010 The fire burns, the 
caldron bubbles and each guest cooks his own dinner, 
while the host has only to offer encouraging words. 
That’s the firepot, or hot pot, an Oriental fondue in 
which raw morsels are simmered in a circular saucepan 
over a chimneyed charcoal brazier. The party begins 
with an array of sliced meats, seafood and vegetables 
at the ready. Everyone is given a small wire basket into 
which he places his chicken or shrimp or whatever 
he singles out; he 
then lowers it into 
the bubbling broth, 


CIRECOT POCTY 


waits only a moment, retrieves the cooked morsel and 
uses chopsticks or fork to swish it into one of several 
dips. Words are inadequate to describe the startlingly 
fresh, mellow flavors of firepotted foods such as beef, 
mushrooms and cucumbers; even a sharp soyand- 
scallion dip or a curry dip only seems to add to the 
exquisite flavors of thinly sliced foods momentarily 
baptized in hot broth. At some firepot parties, guests 
are encouraged to mix their own dips from a variety of 
raw ingredients, but 
there can be (сол- 
cluded on page 205) 


bubble your pleasure with an oriental twist to the familiar fondue bit 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY OWIGHT HOOKER 


«au ayy uo ajdoad nq Quo 
nok nno? ү ипо) uA, 


"HID SVOuVA IHL 


Jack is dead in St. Pete. I was reading about him in an old 
journal when Shirley called out from downstairs, having 
heard it on the radio. There were the bad moments waiting 
for a repeat of the newscast; there were the waves of aware- 
ness coming up and receding. . . . 1 have always addressed my 
sentences to him, to his canny eye, and it will be different 10 
write from now on... . Allen G. called. By happenstance, he 
will be in New Haven tomorrow, and we will go down. “He 
didn’t live much beyond Neal,” Allen said as a matter of in- 
terest. “Only а year and a half.” 1 spoke to Gregory & Peter 
too—they were all at the Cherry Valley farm. . . . We wired 
Memére & Stella—useless words. Portents of his death some- 
where, sometime, have plagued me for eight-ten years—as re- 
cently as last Thursday I thought of him dying in St. Louis or 
Chicago on some Kerouac-crazy ітір. . . . 1 haven't dared 
think of his mind in its last hours. What can one say? He's 
gone. It's over for him. 

— JOURNAL, OCT. 21, 1969, 1245 P.M, OLD SAYBROOK, CONN. 


GONE IN OCTOBER 


article 
By JOHN CLELLON HOLMES 


Jor raucous jack, eager jack, 
jack of the tender eyes—the end of the night 


1 


SHIRLEY AND 1 drove down to New Haven for Ginsberg's reading at 
Yale under clear high skies of blue, ‘The trees had turned in the last 
days to full autumn, and it occurred to me that it was apt that Jack 
had gone away in October, which was his favorite month, and that 
it was one of those red-and-gold New England afternoons through 
which footballs used to loft in such brave arcs when we were young. 

No more Jack, Y repeated to myself as 1 drove, his death a fact 
too inexplicable, too final to go down. I'd known him for half my 
life. Whatever sort of man and writer I'd become was due in no 
small measure to our friendship. As young men, we had shared 
those important, exuberant years that sometimes shape the rest of 
life. Damn him! I caught myself thinking. Why does he do things 
like this? Fd talked to him for an hour on the phone not ten days 
ago, and we had bickered as we often did when he was drunk, and 
he had challenged me to call him back in an hour, and I hadn't 
done it, exasperated by his boozy monologs. And now the phone 
was permanently dead. 

We parked near the Yale Co-op and walked through chilly streets 
to the Political Union Library, where the students were holding a 
reception for Allen. In a paneled upstairs room, 20 or 30 young 
people, drinking port and sherry, sat on the floor around the ring- 
leted Karl Marx beard and dome of balding forehead that gave 
Allen the look of a worldly Talmud scholar who had retired to the 
Negev. Gregory squatted on his heels in an enormous George Raft 
overcoat, working on a tumbler of sherry, and Peter, now become a 
grizzled wrangler of bitter winters in Upstate New York, stared si- 
lently out from under the three-inch brim of a hat of Day-Glo red. 
It was the first time that we had all been in the same room in over 


five years. 
In the middle of a long answer about ecology, Allen waved, 


Circa 1956: Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Peter Orlovsky, standing; 
Gregory Corso, John Clellon Holmes, kneeling. Artist's rendering based on 
a photo in "Scenes Along the Road" (Portents/Gotham Book Mart, 1970). 97 


ILLUSTRATION BY DON CROWLEY 


PLAYBOY 


and Gregory came over, whispering, 
“What a time to get together. huh?" 

Allen finished, and he and Peter 
worked their way through the crowd, 
and we all embraced. "Well, old Jack's 
dead, | guess,” Allen said, and we 
looked at one another, wordless with 
the fact. 

We straggled through the evening 
streets toward dinner with some of the 
students, arranging that the three of 
them would drive home with us that 
night and we'd all go up to Lowell 
the next day for the funeral. Then on to 
the reading, which was held in a large, 
high-ceilinged hall, already filled with 
young people in their Army jackets, 
beards, ragged blue jeans, maidenly falls 
of hair, love beads and peace amulets 
—recruits in the war against the death 
drive in the modern world, which, for 
some of us, had already been going on 
for two decades. We were taken down 
front to wait, and there on the stage was 
a paper banner, 12 by 4 feet in size, 
on which was written: IN MEMORIAM: 
JACK KEROUAC, 1922-1969, and below that: 


NEAL CASSADY, 1927-1968, 

Allen and Peter came down the side 
aisle and up onto the stage with their 
harmonium, where they removed their 
“We'll 


jackets 10 get down to work 
begin with a prayer," 
and Peter began chanting a sutra, Jack's 
sutra, the Diamond, standing together 
in their shirts, Peter palming the bel 
lows of the harmonium with the metro- 
nomic motion of a weaver with his 
beater, and both wailing the clear, high- 
pitched chant, which was followed by a 
scatter of applause from the perplexed, 
politicalized students, who expected 
something more inflammatory, or more 
"relevant" Allen was quietly remonstra- 
е. "You don't have to applaud a 
prayer," he said. 

Then he read three or four choruses 
from Jack’s Mexico City Blues, repeat- 
ing the 211th Chorus, “The wheel of the 
quivering meat conception,” because of 
the lines: 


“Poor! I wish I was free 
of that slaving meat wheel 
and saje in heaven dead” 


He repeated this three times for empha- 
as if to say: "See, there's your poli- 
tics, that's your art, that’s your reality, 
that was life to him.” Then he read the 
last Chorus with some deliberation: 


“Vanish 
Which will be your best reward, 
"Twere better to get rid o 
John O'Twill, then sit a-mortying 
In this Half Eternity with nobody 
To save the old man being hanged 
In my closet for nothing 
And everybody watches 
When the act is done— 


Stop the murder and the suicide! 
All's well! 
I am the Guard" 


Perhaps no one on the outside of Jack's 
life ever really understood these lines, 
but years ago they had made me realize 
he didn't want to stay in such a world. 
and even say as much in Nothing More 
to Declare, and have him chide me 
about putting him in his grave. 

After this, Allen read for almost an 
hour out of his own poems, and finally 
said; “I've been setting some of Blake's 
poems to music, and Peter and I will 
sing a few after we take ten minutes off, 
so John Holmes can hear them.” After 
the break, they both turned to look 
down at me, Allen smiling with the 
healing euphoria of song, having been 
able to add something at last to our old 
master, Blake—if it was only these in- 
camtatory, Hebraic, singsong melodies 
that piped so wild. 

When they were done, Allen opened 
it up to questions from the audience, 
and the questions weren't too silly, just 
a little solemn with the "nonnegotiable" 
puritanism of kids that year. At last, a 
blond kid got up, somewhat shy, be- 
spectacled, grave and confused, and 
stumbled out that he thought they'd like 
to know what Allen thought about Ker- 
ouac’s death, and where Jack fit into the 
scene today, and why he seemed to have 
drifted off into curious, cranky ideas in 
recent years, and should they care about 
him? Was he—well, important? They 
couldn't say. Would Allen? 

Allen sighed and leaned on the lec- 
tern toward the microphone on his el- 
bows, and didn't say anything for 50 
seconds. 1 knew what he was thinking: 
How could you sum it up in a few glib 
words? How could you bring back the 
eager Jack, Jack of the tender eyes. the 
raucous Jack of midnights, Jack’s earnest 
sweat, maddening Jack of the end of the 
nights, maudlin Jack of all the songs, the 
Jack who knew Tor sure, Jack simple as 
а cornflower, fist-proud. Jack, the bongo 
Jack of saucepans, Jack of the Chinese 
restaurants, Jack mooning under street 
lamps about guilt, the Jack of Jacks?— 
when all they probably knew anything 
about was drunken, contentious Jack. 
bigoted, mindstormed Jack, the Jack of 
sneers, who somehow now appeared to 
have drunk a hole in his Balzac belly. 
How could you? No way. 

But Allen gathered his thoughts and 
ed closer to the mike and simply 
"Well, he was the first one to make 
а new crack in the consciousne and 
everything else—pot, rock. doin’ your 
thing, make a new Jerusalem, etc., had 
come out of that crack. What he had 
done was to try to follow the implica- 
tions of his sad-comic view of things to 
the bottom of his own nature and tran- 
scribe it in its own onrushing spontane- 


1 
s 


ous flow, and leave it there for later, 
for others. 

“So he drank himself to death,” Allen 
said bluntly, "which is only another 
way of living, of handling the pain and 
foolishness of knowing that it’s all a 
dream, a great, baffling, silly emptiness, 
after ail.” And then abruptly he said 
nothing more. 

Allen and Peter had to go tape an in- 
terview for the university radio st 
so Gregory and Shirley and 1 went to 
clean out the dormitory room they had 
been assigned but wouldn't need now. 
As we hurried through the bitercold 
New Haven streets, Gregory said of the 
students: “I always tell them, ‘Listen, 1 
was born when people smoked stra 
and drank booze. Let me have a drink 
and ГЇ noodle your doodle, or sav 
your soul, whatever you're after.’ " laugh 
ing in a breathless, delighted little 
cackle, which, the next day, driving to 
Lowell, I would hear from the back seat 


—heh-heh-heh-heh-heh—and realize, “By 
God, is Jack's laugh, Gregory laughs 
like Jack now, modest at some pri- 


vate thought, happy.” Id forgotten 
Jack's old laugh: he hadn't laughed that 
way much in recent years, not that soft 
hek-heh-heh of pleasure. and 1 remem- 
bered it without a pang. 

We went through shadowy quads as 
icy as your winter nose tip, shrouded 
students hurrying home under old elms, 
and up into the dorm to collect their 
stuff: Gregory's movie-camera case, a 
suitcase of what Jack used to call "need- 
ments," a green sport shirt, and a pair of 
Jockey shorts drying on the Venetian 
blind. Shirley made us a bourbon in the 
single tooth glass and we sipped it while 
Gregory told us about how they had 
gone out into the Upstate woods after 
they heard the news about Jack, just the 
day before, all of them up in Cherry 
Valley, and carved Jack's initials into a 
tree—"You know, in the name of Ameri- 
can poetry.” 

We struggled all the baggage down 
into my car, and then walked down the 
block to the radio station, where Allen 
and Peter sat in a smoke-bleared record- 
ing booth with seven or eight student 
activists, Allen patiently going into his 
sixth straight hour of talk. Cregory and 
I went in for a minute, to Бе inter- 


"viewed, too, but of course the four of 


us kept drifting into personal things. 
having had no real chance till then— 
such as how the rain water runs down 
the stone embankments in Eureka 
Springs, Arkansas, and how, yes we'd 
all been there, though never together, 
and it was where Carry Nation con- 
ducted her last campaign against drink 
The young men seemed bewildered by 
this and one of them finally said: "Why 
do you guys always talk about where 
people are from, and what happened 

(continued on page 140) 


“We can't go on meeting like this." 


AN YOU sinc Can you dance? 
Can you hot-cha-cha?” asks the 
Hollywood producer in a vin 
tage comedy routine. We can't 

vouch for the hotcha-cha, but when 

t comes to song and dance, February 

Playmate Cyndi Wood certainly has 

her act together. It’s not surprising: 

her mother was an actress, her father 

a recordingcompany executive and, 

as a Hollywood native to boot, Cyndi 

naturally gravitated to the entertain 
ment world. "My parents friends 
were actors, producers and directors; 
my friends were their sons and daugh- 
ters. And for as long as 1 can remem- 
ber, my life was nothing but lessons." 

Cyndi admits that there were times 

she felt pressured. “Whenever there 

was a school play, I'd try out for it 

Whenever the chorus auditioned, I 

was there. Between those activities 

and my dance and music instruction, 

1 had little time to think about 

what 2 wanted to do.” But she's 

far from bitter about the experience. 
e always liked being in the 
spotlight,” says Cyndi. "When my 

parents stopped prodding me, I 

picked up where they left off." She 

got her first break as a professional— 
while still attending high school in 

Los Angeles—when she was asked to 

backup for a local rock group at 

a recording session. For three years 

thereafter, she sang what she calls “a 

lot of doo-wah stuff" for other local 


Below: Some of Cyndi modeling assignments require more than a mere quick change of 
clothes. In Chicago for an upcoming industrial show, she and (left to right) models Gail Mac- 
Guire, Gigi Williams and Mary Kane talk over a complex dance routine with choreographer- 
producer Erin Adair (back to camera) before they undertake running through it in rehearsal 


102 


As Mary and Gail stand by, Cyndi practices o solo 
with Erin. "Some models,” says Miss February, 
“don’t like to do shows. But I'd rather take the 
time to rehearse than be just another clothes rack.” 


artists. That led to the formation of Со 
a studio group that recorded for Mercury 
Records. “With Collage.” Cyndi recalls, “1 
was given the opportunity to sing lead. But 
except for a couple of weeks when we played 
the Dunes in Las Vegas, we performed only 
for the microphones. After two years of 
that, 1 knew I wanted something else.” For 
a while, our Playmate tried her hand 
fashion designing (“just for myself"), song. 
writing and even sound engineering (^I do 
some great mixing and can work off any 16 
track"). But, in time, Cyndi decided those 


pursuits were only hobbies and resolved t 
the best way to further her musical ambitions 
would be to continue her education. In 1969, 
she enrolled as a music major at Los Angeles 
City College, transferred to Los Angeles Valley 
College in Van. Nuys and began augmenting 
her composition courses with dramatic stud 


ies. Says Cyndi, "lt seems to be a pattern 
with me that when I finally get committed 10 
something, another interest comes along and 
I'm torn between the two. In high school, I 
was hung up between medicine and music 
When 1 finally abandoned the thought of be- 
coming a doctor, 1 discovered I liked acting 
1 music" Soon Cyndi found her 


better tl 
theater-arts courses taking up more time th 
her music classes. "I couldn't find a direc 
tion,” she says, "so 1 concluded that rather 
than spend years with a lot of required 


Above left: Back in Los Angeles to sing а backup overdub at Sound City, Inc, Cyndi—with producer Bill Drescher ot the console—listens to 
the master tape onto which her voice will be mixed. Above right: With headphone firmly in place, she then vocalizes her hormony part into the 


boom mike. But the doy's music mcking is hardly over: Loter, Cyndi 


з off tc a friend's place (below) for an easygoing jam. "Of all the instru- 


ments | play,” she soys, ^| like drums best, though guiter and piano, which | took up more than 15 years ago, aren't for behind.” 


subjects for a diploma, I'd simply learn about 
what 1 wanted to learn about." By late 1971, 
she had dropped out of college, though she 
continued to do occasional recording dates. 
Along the way, she was even offered a film 
contract; but she turned it down. "I didn’t 
feel confident about acting, because 1 hadn't 
enough experience.” Just when her life 
seemed to be “settling into a state of termi- 
nal disorder,” Cyndi thought of modeling. “It 
seemed the perfect answer. 1 thought I'd just 
e to see an agent and all kinds of offers 
would come my way.” It didn't work out that 
simply. "Most agents are a waste of time,” 
she says. "It's only common sense that you're 
always going to work harder for yourself than 
an agent will.” So, after initial setbacks, she 
sought—and won—her own modeling assign 
ments for TV commercials, fashion shows 
and industrial conventions as a freelancer. 
"I love being in front of people," Cyndi says. 
“1 suppose it appeals to the actress in me. In 
fact, much of my work in commercials or 
trade shows calls for acting. Sometimes 1 even 
get а chance to sing and dance, too, and 
that’s great.” Obviously, Cyndi believes such 
assignments provide her with wonderful op- 
portunities to polish her performing talents. 
And with a recording contract as a. possibil- 
ity and a film script already in the offing, 
Cyndi may have all the more reason to sing 
her favorite song, It's Gonna Be All Right. 


In New York City to represent a menswear firm at a buyers! show (above), Cyndi is pleasantly surprised to find friend Jean Manson 
(ot left) on assignment at the same event. Below: A lunchtime ride on the Staten Islond ferry, with the skyline of Lower Mon- 
Һоноп in the background, gives Misses Wood ond Manson the opportunity to get reocquointed and токе plans for that evening. 


PLAY BOY’S PARTY JOKES 


Two street workers happened to be standing 
in front of a brothel when а man in clerical 
garb stopped, glanced around and slipped 
imo the doorway. "Did ya see that, Mike? 
said one of the workmeu disapprovingly. 
“That was a Protestant. mini A short 
time later, another dergym: 
ted momentarily and the 
me entrance. 
Hey, Tony,” exdaimed the other wor 
man, “there goes a rabbi! Whats the world 
coming to these days?” Alter a further inter- 
val, a priest swung down the street and imo 
the building. 
said Mik 


must be 


“some poor gir 


As their illicit lovem: ared its climax, 
the young thing strained up toward her 
brother-in-law. "Kiss me, Max!" she urged 
Oh, kiss me, kiss me!” 

Kiss you?" panted Max. "Why, I shouldn't 
even be doing this! 


Winter, according to one householder. is when 
the airconditionmg repairmen leave for Eu 
rope and the furnace repairmen retu 


An elderly trooper named Sand 
Had had а seduction well planned, 
But he still couldn't muster 
More luck than had Custer, 
For Sand, too, had had his last stand. 


There's both a good and a bad side to these 
wage freezes,” philosophized the drinker at the 
bar, "What's good is that my favorite callgirl 
won't be able to raise the price of her tail. 
What's bad is that I won't be able to, cithe 


One evening, an American tourist in France 
was arrested for allegedly driving while 
under the influence, and then was given a 
breath test at the gendarmerie. “Well?” he 
‘d, somewhat belligerently. as the old desk 

n to 


sergeant slowly read the findings and beg 
r them on the arrest report. 


Distppointing, monsieur." replied the cop. 
shaking his head. “Chateau Duvalier . . . 1962 
у. . rather thin... has not aged well.” 


Our Unabashed Dic 
ктай! as city haul. 


ry defines municipal 


A man who was about to be married men- 
tioned to a friend that he was planning to 
take only two days for his honeymoon because 
he was so busy at the оћсе. “Thats too bad.” 
said his friend. "You won't have much time. 
How far did you plan to gc 

"Oh," replied the groom-o-be. "all the 
way, naturally! 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines perfect 
secretary as one who comes in for dictation 
with a notebook, pencil and towel. 


A visitor from Colorado had heard just about 
enough about how big, rich and dry Texas was. 
"Look," he said to one particularly vocal Lone 
Ear, "we've got more water than we 
our mountain lakes. Why don't wi 
¢ from them dow 
barren areas? And if you Tex: as 
well as you can blow, your troubles are over. 


labeled his 


Weve heard ol a swinger who 
litle black book Future Shack. 


1 can't understand it. doctor," the girl com- 
plained. "Every time I see a handsome, muscu- 
lar man on the beach. I get this funny feeling 
between my toes. 
That's strange,” the medical man rumi- 
nared. "Which toes?" 

The big ones,” she sighed. 


An expert has described the difteri be- 
tween a 20-year-old prostitute and а 15-year- 
old teeny-bopper as that between 20 dollars 
and 90 years. 


Му boy,” the father advised his young son, 
while it is no longer considered true that 
the autoerotic habit will lead to insanity or 
blindness—a quaint delusion of our Victorian 
forefather—l think you should be made 
aw: ccording 10 the latest medical 

ion, it can be the cause of a serious reduc- 
поп in hearing." 

“What?” said the boy. 


The members of the hunting dub had drawn 
straws to decide who would man the mess tent 
during their annual trip to the big woods, 
with the proviso that anyone complaining 
about the food would automatically replace 
the unlucky cook. Realizing after a few days 
that no one was likely to risk speaking up. 
Short Straw decided on a desperate plan. Hav- 
ng found some moose droppings. he added a 
generous amount to the stew that night. TH 
were grimaces around the campfire after the 
t few mouthfuls, but nobody sa thing 
til one member suddenly broke the silence. 
Hey,” he exclaimed, “this «Т tastes like 
moose shit—but good! 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
11. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


a Ty 
ГА 
x 


NE 


D 
x 


“The lobster looks damn good!” 


110 


THE POWDER AND THE GLORY 


article BY JONN SKOW тик remreratore in the room has passed 195 degrees. The rim of the sawed- 
off wine bottle is hot enough to hurt the lips. Surprisingly, the beer inside it is still cool, but the heat in the 
room is now solid and important. Respectful attention must be paid to it. We sit there in our skins, paying 
attention. We have begun to glisten and turn pink: two or three men in our late 30s or early 40s, tennis play- 
ers, handball bulldogs and three-mile joggers, by the look of us; a boy of about 14; and a couple of chunky 
college girls. Nobody is wearing anything, except for one of the girls, who has a towel turbaned around her 
hair. She is the blonder of the two and has turned pinker. Sing ho for chunky college girls. Our mood is light 
and uncluttered, as far as I can tell. Each of us has wandered separately to the sauna, whosc door lists no rules 
and no hours, poked his head in and thought, well, sure. ‘The trace of sexuality in our happenstance is pleasant, 
partly because it is so faint as to be weightless. The white-pine chunks burning in the iron wood stove rule 
the room, 1 lie back on the hot cedar. The heat enters my shoulders and thighs and reads the day's history. 

Seven А.м.: a profound breakfast, stretched to the limits of meaning. ‘Then out to the helicopter for si 
pidity drill. Don't wander around the back of the aircraft, Ed Pruss, the pilot, is saying, because the tail 
rotor will kill you. Don’t carry your skis on your shoulder, nor hold them vertically, because the main rotor 
of the big Bell 204 will hic them and they will fly around and kill you. He goes on to mention something: 
else that will solve all your problems suddenly, but 1 miss it, because I am mooning about snow. I have been 
mooning all winter about the snow in this place. But we can’t fly. Above 8000 feet, the mountains are socked 
in. 1 side-step up 100 yards and run some slalom gates, moodily and not well. 

A cathedrallike lunch, then back out to the helicopter. This time, although conditions look no better, the 
thing is going to fly. Nine of us pack into its abdomen. Leo, who is running things, sits up front. We swing up 
into the weather. White, defined by dark green and shades of gray. Then, as we rise beyond the tree line, 


ILLUSTRATION BY DOUG JOHNSON 


a shock of cold air at 10,000 feet and a slow ski dance down the bugaboos 


PLAYBOY 


nothing at all but luminous white for 
seconds at a stretch. Astonishingly close, 
the gray of a rock wall. The gray drops 
behind again. What is there for Ed Pruss 
to brace his sight against? I strain to see 
through the fogged Plexiglas of the door 
and discover that I am looking at a 
motionless floor of snow a few feet away. 
We have landed. The door pops open; 
a shock of cold. Blown snow. Out into 
it, running crouched, the blades whuffing 
overhead. Kneel, the noise level rises, 
there is a blast of air. Blink, straighten, 
the copter is gone, 2 small diminishing 
noise in a light fall of snow. 

Now no sound. 

Leo yells. He has dumped the skis 
from the chopper rack and is sorting 
them. No time. The next team will be 
here in three or four minutes. We stamp 
out standing places in the new powder 
that has fallen, My legs are stiff. | can 
feel the chill through my down parka. I 
damp my bindings and fall into line 
behind one of the other skiers as we 
shuffle up a slight rise. 

Jumping off: Leo picks 
yells for us to stay to the 
have bee 


ght of it. I 
п the mountains enough to 
w why: Our pitch is the uppermost 


all of a glacier and the gentle shadow 
barely visible through the falling snow 
on the runout to the left is a big cre- 
vasse. Leo drops down the hang, curling 
slowly. He has 35 pounds of survival 
gear in a rucksack on his back and his 
skiing strong, rather than beautiful, 
He handles the slope like a carpenter 
guiding a plank through a table saw. 

Someone goes. Someone else. My 
turn: ] am a tower of rust. Adrenaline 
has begun to work, but the effects have 
mot yet reached my knees, where the 
joint mice play. One of the skiers ahead 
of me catches an edge and windmills, 
and it is obvious that the crusted ruts of. 
last week's wretched weather lie under 
the softness of today's pretty. powder. 
I revert to survival skiing and blast 
through my turns with too much force. 
I am still perpendicular when I reach 
Leo, a quarter of a mile below, but my 
5 1 look back to criticize it, is not 
of smooth curves but a ridicu- 
lous jiwer of zigzags. 

By now, however, enough cold air has 
passed through my lungs to set my 
machinery in motion and skiing begins 
to look possible. "Gemma weiter," says 
Leo—Austrian mountain dialect for 
"Let's move it" Leo Grillmair and his 
partner, Hans Gmoser, emigrated 20 
years ago from Linz, Upper Austria. 
They arrived in Calgary on top of a log- 
ging truck, frostbitten and broke. It is a 
matter of opinion, of course, but for sev- 
eral years now, a growing number of 
opinions have run in the same direction, 
toward the belief that this nest of moun- 
tains in Canada's Bugaboos, where Grill- 


112 mair and Gmoser have set up their 


helicopter operation, is the best place in 
the world to do powder skiing. 

We track down after Leo. Looser now, 
swing free, accept the snow. To some 
extent, we do. And don't. Most of us 
are fairly good skiers, but the mystery 
the amateur athlete never manages to 
solve has nothing to do with technique, 
which he knows cold. It is how to find 
and keep his edge. We ski tentatively. 
Each of us is waiting to hear a single 
sound, the beat of great wings as 
grace descends. 

The helicopter waits at about 7500 
feet. It has been warm all week, with a 
snow-eating chinook blowing out of the 
west, and below this level what covers 
the ground is unskiable mashed pota- 
toa. The helicopter freights us back 
into the snowfall and we scuttle out into 
it, better now at the guerrilla routine 

Some orderly soul asks where we are. 
"Groovy's Ass,” Leo says. He is not jok- 
ing. There is another run here called 
Holy Shit. Groovy's Ass, although. not 
especially fearsome, figures in one of the 
great guestbook inscriptions of the 
Western world: “I left my teeth in 
Croovy's Ass.” Yah, says Leo, somebody 
wrote that in the Bugaboo lodge book 
last week, after cracking up on the run 
and breaking off a couple of teeth. 

Everyone is mightily cheered by this 
information, and although grace cannot 
be said to have descended, the group ex- 
periences a lively attack of competence. 
It is a mild version of a reaction 1 have 
noticed before in the mountains: The 
bells of hell go tinga-linga-ling for you 
but not for me. Mountaineers are mostly 
decent types and they are no les em- 
pathetic than valley people, but there 
are so many opportunities to get into 
bad trouble that even the news of some 
other party's fatal accident, if heard dur- 
ing a climb, sometimes releases an odd 
shudder of energy that is almost exhila. 
ration: I am not dead, therefore I feel 
very, very quick. 

We run with some style for an hour 
or so. No one minds that what we are 
doing is not true powder skiing—only 
about six inches of new stuff has fallen 
so far and it is still possible to ski on the 
snow, as if it were a floor, instead of in 
the snow, as if it were a sea. We splash 
about in the shallows. At just the point 
at which first-day fatigue would tatter 
our elegance, snow and fog interpose 
tactfully and Ed tells Leo that flying is 
finished for the day. We ski down to the 
lodge out of what is now the beginning 
of a true storm. 

‘The sauna has driven me out, My feet 
tingle. Their heat melts the snow I am 
standing on and it re-forms as ice under 
my toes. Snow grains blow on the wind, 
They sting the skin of my belly and 
thighs. My head feels clear and sharp 
and a little crazy. ‘The storm is going to 
blow all night and there must be a foot 


of new snow now up at 10,000 feet. To- 
morrow morning there will be two fect, 
30 inches, a full yard. We are rich. 

Let us say that it is storming now at 
Zermatt, or Zürs, or Vail. Fine, light 
snow fills the streets to the height of a 
boot top and more of it is sifting down. 
Skiers hunching through the storm on 
their way to drinks at Gramshammer's 
or Rehrücken at the Walliserhof think 
about how it will be in the morning and 
their riches make them lightheaded. Yet 
there can be no knowledgeable skier at 
any of these great stations who would 
not prefer to be transported instantly to 
this small lodge in the Bugaboos, west 
of Banff. 

The explanation lies mainly іп num- 
bers. The Bugaboos are spectacular, but 
they are not higher nor more splendid 
mor more snowed upon than the great 
peaks of the Rockies or the Alps. They 
are a good deal more private, how- 
ever. Something like 300 square miles of 
the Bugaboos are easily reachable by 
helicopter from Hans Gmoser and Leo 
Grillmair's lodge. Beyond these miles 
are more miles, and in all of this vast 
area, in any given week, there are only 
40 souls to make tracks in the powder. If 
you cross another skier's trail, it is be- 
cause you want to. 

There are other numbers bound up 
with the uniqueness of this place. The 
Bell 204 has places for a pilot, a guide, 
nine other skiers, ten pairs of skis tied 
outside the cabin in a rack on the land- 
ing gear and enough survival equipment 
and freeze-dried food to last two weeks. 
The price of so much lifting power is 
close to half a million dollars. It costs 
nine dollars a minute, or $540 an hour, 
or far too much, to run this most sophis- 
ticated of all ski lifts. 

The high-season price of a weck of 
skiing, with 70,000 vertical feet of heli- 
copter transport included, is $610. This 
means that a r from the East Coast, 
paying something more than $300 for 
his air fare to Calgary, must lay out at 
least $900 for his amusement. If he skis 
more than 70,000 vertical feet—and he 
can do that in two days if his knees and 
the weather are good—his expense can 
run to around $1300. It is senseless to 
pay this much and use second-rate 
equipment, so he buys a good pair of 
powder skis and a set of b ings for 
$225. Maybe—what the hell—he buys a 
pair of new, high-rise, plastic superskier 
boots for $175. This hemorrhage of cash 
is so absurd that the last bite seems al- 
most sane. The Easterner hears that the 
only goggles that will not fog up when 
he is ear-deep in powder are a double- 
lens model turned out (as it happens) 
by a powder-skiing dentist named Smith. 
Smith's good goggles cost $20—cheap. 

Disbursement on this scale limits the 
Bugaboos to the prosperous and the 

(continued on page 206) 


SITING 
PRETTY 


a flock of high-fashion 
chairs that please the 
eye as well as the posterior 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY BEN Rt 


Of course, they were only kidding 
on The Electric Compony—NET's 
educotionol funfest for Sesame 
Street graduates—when they 
called their mock soop opera 
Love of Choir. But there are 
chairs you can love, much os 
Pharaoh must have fancied his 
high-canopied, onimal-legged 
throne. Four of the finest: Matta’s 
“Майте” (opening page) is a 
five-piece modular system—shown 
in part—that can be stacked in 
a squore. The ports are made 
of foam rubber ond ore covered 
with o nylon stretch fobric, from 
Knoll International, $950. 
Genuine leather is the substance. 
of Tobia Scorpo's award-winning 
model (left), from Atelier 
Internationol, $1100. Chrome steel 
ling, Stendig's 
(below) 
comes with o matching footstool, 
$200. A yard deep ond a yord 
wide, John Strouss's “Cylinders” 
lounge choir (right), $765, was 
designed by John Mascheroni, 
features rubber webbing and 
foam on a hardwood frame 


and comes in a variety of 


fobrics. (A matching ottoman is 
oko offered, $420.) Be seated! 


PLAYEOY 


Spartans of indochina 
occasionally, figures moving in the ham- 
lets north of the Ben Hai River, just 
inside North Vietnam itself. Outside 
Khe Sanh in the winter of 1968, they 
were a presence, pushing their trenches 
a few feet closer to the perimeter each 
night. In the central highlands near 
Dak To, you could hear through the 
jungle screen the thud of their AK47s, 
a heavier, more solid sound than the 
signature of the Americans’ М-165. At 
Hué they fought from behind the walls 
of the citadel for three weeks. Two 
French correspondents, having crossed 
the Perfume River under a white flag, 
drank tea with their commander, but 
one night the North Vietnamese slipped 
away and the South Vietnamese would 
not or could not stop them, 

Even dead, they were a rarity. In 
those days the bodies were almost always 
dragged away and properly buried so 
they would not become homeless, wan- 
dering spirits. I recall seeing couple of 
corpses north of Con Thien, an obscure 
place where a Marine patrol had been 
ambushed. Putrefaction had inflated 
their bellies inside their mustard-colored 
khaki uniforms until they looked like 
footballs. On the wire at Bu Dop, an 
outpost near the Cambodian border, the 
bodies seemed, on the other hand, to 
have been hollowed out—wisps of flesh, 

ng parts—covered by flapping rags, 
looking by the brilliant light of day like 
the fading recollections of a dream. 

Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Herbert 
commanded a battalion of the 173rd Air- 
borne Infantry Brigade in the ‘Tiger 
Mountains and the An Lao Valley, head 
to head with the North Vietnamese. He 
respected them and eventually was 
hounded out of the Army for protesting 
the systematic torture of them and of 
Viet Cong prisoners to extract informa- 
tion. It was a Curious exercise, since the 
information, by the time it was ex- 
tracted, was almost always useless. 

"I never saw an NVA soldier I 
wouldn't have been proud to have in my 
" Herbert told me. “Their disci- 
pline, their fire control, their spirit were 
all superb. There was . . . there was ап 
aura about them. They looked military 
even if they were in black pajamas in 
some village trying to buy rice. In fact, 
it used to give them away." 

That was an old story by then. Ameri- 
cans had been coming back from Viet- 
nam for years saying that we were 
helping che wrong Vietnamese. It didn't 
take a genius to realize that there was 
something very wrong with the South 
Vietnamese army, but it was a fact that 
could not penetrate the lead-shielded 
walls of the Pentagon war room or the 
situation room in the basement of the 
White Hou 

We all 


new why the South Viet- 


116 Mame were so bad—corrupt officers, 


(continued from page 81) 

badly led and badly treated troops, no 
cause to fight for, the feeling of inferior- 
ity to the Americans, who treated them 
with generally undisguised contempt, 
and to the North Vietnamese and thc 
Viet Cong, who had defeated the French 
and were, for good or bad, the masters 
of their own fate. 

But no one was certain why the North 
Vietnamese were so good. Various gener 
als have told me over the years that they 
were overrated—most recently, S. L. A. 
Marshall, the retired brigadier general 
and journalist who has been studying 
American troops in combat since the 
Second World War. At other times it 
would be suggested that the North Viet- 
namese had been able to overrun this 
outpost or ambush that convoy because 
they had been using narcotics, a sad 
irony, considering the way thousands of 
bored American troops chose to amuse 
themselves in the years ahead. 

From time to time, the South Viet- 
namese command would trot out a de- 
fector. There have been only a few 
hundred of these all told, and only 
about 800 prisoners until the great 
spring battles began last year, and most 
of these were wounded or ill when 
taken. The defector would say that the 
Hanoi government was bitterly unpopu- 
lar, that press gangs were taking 15-year- 
olds from the villages, and that the 
morale of the fighters was disintegrating. 
"To believe such stories required a denial 
of reality that was a prelude to madness, 
or was madness itself. 

But the American strategy required 
that the North Vietnamese should be 
pounded until they broke. A member of 
Secretary of Defense Robert McNa 
mara’s staff, quoted in the Pentagon 
papers, called it the “ratchet effect,” in- 
creasing the intensity of the pain—the 
bombing, the artillery, the village burn- 
ing—a notch at a time, until it became 
insupportable, 

Everyone was certain that Asians 
armed with rifles, machine guns and 
shoulder rockets counting every pre 
cious cartridge, shivering with malaria, 
hungry more often than not, could not 
stand up indefinitely to tanks, heavy ar- 
tillery, clouds of helicopters and fighter 
bombers and to the invisible avengers, 
the B-52s. 

The scenario was simple enough: At 
some point, the North Vietnamese in 
the field would break up, rot. And the 
sickness would spread up the tenuous 
supply linc. The replacements would no 
longer be willing to start the long march 
south to almost certain death. hout 
them, the Viet Cong, its villages put to 
the torch, paddies defoliated and fam- 
ilies marched off to “refugee camps," 
would finally collapse and drift impo- 
tently into the hills and jungles. 

lt was a reasonable enough error to 


equate the North Vietnamese with the 
North Koreans, or the Communist Chi- 
nese troops who lined up with them, or 
the Japanese in the Second World War. 
Particularly when no one had any infor- 
mation to the contrary. But a few people 
were not so sure. I remember the late 
Bernard Fall, who had seen much of 
the First Indochina War, telling a story 
about Dien Bien Phu. On the day the 
fortress fell in May 1954, an officer of 
the Vietminh—as the Vietnamese libera- 
tion army was called—was leading into 
captivity a French officer. Beyond the 
perimeter, bodies of the troops who had 
died in the final human-wave assault 
were piled in windrows. Avoiding one 
body, the Frenchman inadvertently 
stepped on the outstretched hand of 
another. There was a moan and the 
French officer bent toward the badly 
wounded man. Without turning, the 
Vietminh officer said, "Leave him. His 
service to the fatherland is complet. 

But there were few illustrative anec- 
dotes and even less hard information 
We knew the army's leader, General Vo 
Nguyen Giap, who had organized the 
first platoon of the liberation army in 
the caves along the Chinese border in 
December 1944, had led its first attack, 
which destroyed a French outpost on 
Christmas Eve that year, had com- 
manded the Dien Bien Phu battle, 
was now the minister of defense. A law- 
yer and onctime teacher of history at a 
Hanoi lycée, Giap seemed an authen 
military genius who had refined and en- 
larged Mao's theories of guerrilla war- 
fare and practiced them successfully 
against a far tougher foe than the 
demoralized Chinese Nationalists of 
Chiang Kai-shek. We knew its size, 
roughly. In 1971, according to the Amer- 
ican intelligence community, the North 
namese army numbered 495,000 —at 
least 85,000 in South Vietnam, 67,000 in 
Laos and 40,000 in Cambo: This 
force included about 60 regiments of 
2700 men each, 20 of them independent 
and 40 formed into 13 di There 
were also six artillery regiments and sup- 
port and rear-services units. But as to 
who commanded these divisions, how 
they operated, what their n was, 
no one would say; and in the light of 
the April 1972 offensive, 1 think it was 
bccausc no onc knew. 

Even what we know about the train 
ing of the North Vietnamese army 
based on a series of guesses. A senior in- 
telligence official told me he "thought 
that men were drafted at the age of 18 
on the basis of village quotas but that 
they were encouraged to volunteer for 
service; that basic training was 13 wecks, 
divided into roughly equal parts of 
physical trai military subjects and 
political indoctrination; that they were 
sent down the Ho Chi Minh Trail in re- 
placement packets of perhaps 200 men: 

(continued on page 173) 


“Interested in a desk job?" 


17 


OH, LITTLE 
TOWN OF 
MILLIONAIRES 


in forest city, iowa, children give you 
the closing dow-jones, farmers quote 
price earnings ratios —and 


everybody bets on the home-grown stock 


article By DOUGLAS BAUER Ben Carter's 
business day begins with ritual. He is the editor of 
the Forest City, lowa, Summit, a profitable small- 
town newspaper with a clean, shadowles layout (it 
was one of the first weeklies in the state to be printed 
offset). Every morning, after opening the Summit's 
offices on Clark Street, Ben heads two blocks north to 4 
Gannon's Restaurant, where he joins other merchants 
for a half hour of coffee at nine o'dock. Walking 
briskly up Clark, the outline of his heavy body a series 
of soft parentheses, Ben waves to familiar cars and 
faces. He has observed this casual morning ceremony 


EEE me 
from the back, “it’s really movin!” 


PLAYBOY 


for many years, g with Forest City's 
Шегу whose shops face Clark Street, 
blending coffee and conversation. The 
time passes so pleasantly that a half hour 
would fail to hold the mixture in but 
for a second group that imposes its ter- 
ritorial rights to Gannon’s tables at 9:30. 
a recent years, however, Ben and oth. 
ers have risen for the door as early as 
9:20. No fault of the coffee, nor of the 
company, but because something has 
been added to their simple pattern. In- 
stead of returning directly to businesses, 
most of the men head south down Clark, 
past the Summit's brown-brick offices, for 
a vi to M. Wittenstein and Son's 
brokerage house. It comes as no small 
surprise to strangers when they learn 
that Forest City, a north Iowa town of 
not quite 4000 people, has a brokerage. 
But its presence is understood once you 
know that the town is home for Winne- 
bago Industries, a company that builds 
more recreational yehicles—campers, 
trailers, motor homes—than any other 
and whose stock was the most profitable 
issue on the New York Stock Exchange 
during 1971. Starting ас $14 a share in 
December 1970, then soaring, splitting, 
dimbing again, it finished the year with 
a gain of 462 percent. Although board 
chairman John K. Hanson and his fam- 
ily have the majority of stock, there are 
plenty of shares to go around—Witten- 
stein’s brokerage has over 1700 custom. 
ers—and, consequently, Forest City is 
rich. Current estimates as to the number 
of millionaires town range from 25 
to 35, and there are several hundred 
citizens worth more than $100,000. No 
one has exact figures, but people in For- 
est City are eager to tell you that their 
town. "has the highest percapita income 
ol any place in the United States. 

Ben Carter is one of the 25 or 35. He 
is also secretary of the Forest City De- 
velopment Commission, the group that 
originally coaxed the business into 
north Iowa (Hanson, a former furniture 
dealer and undertaker, who's also à 
commission member, began running the 
company after its first six months had 
produced bankruptcy) and was offered 
stock at the time of its first issue. So his 
morningcoffee club no longer needs a 
half hour, as Ben and others walk to the 
brokerage every morning to find out 
exactly how wealthy they are. 

Bay windows swell to the sidewalk on 
either side of Wittenstein's scrcen door. 
Inside, both bays are filled with wooden 
ledges, the kind that hold ways of glazed 
doughnuts or stacked symmetries of 
Rexall products in other storefronts on 
Clark Street. In. Wittenstein's window, 
however, a cardboard placard bears the 
name WINNEBAGO styled in the compa- 
пуз flying-W trademark and below it the 
number 8814. The sign shows Winne- 
bapo's opening price on the New York 


120 Stock Exchange. Ben notes this morn- 


ing's price with pleasure. The stock is 
climbing from a low of around 66 just a 
few days ago. “I bought at seventy-three 
and again at seventy-five,” he says. “The 
thing's so volatile, you can make money 
On the swings" The numbers are 
changed throughout the day and when 
the closing price is determined. They 
are also posted at various locations ir 
side Winnebago's plants and offices 
around town for employees unable to 
drive past W s window. Re- 
Cluses, shut-ins and children who don't 
read can avoid knowing the price of 
Winnebago stock. (Children who do read 
are interested, "My eight-year-old comes 
home from school,” relates a Forest City 
mother, nd says something like, ‘Н. 
Mom. The stock hit eighty-five today.’ "у 

Inside the brokerage, Carter walks 
past a secretary who siis behind the tele- 
phone center required for Wittenstein's 
four incoming lines. Its buttons blink 
with Forest City curiosity. He continues 
down a narrow hall to a large square 
room that is two unattractive shades of 
green: pale-chipped on its plasterboard 
walls, faded-worn on its carpeted floor. 
Couches and chairs with permanently 
relaxed springs line two walls. It's the 
kind of room, in small communities, 
that the Odd Fellows give over to the 
town's old men for drowsy afternoons of 
cardplaying and cigar smoking. 

But this room is active and noisy with 
competing conversations. Forest City's 
stockbroker, Norman Stromer, is on 
the phone. "Its movin’. It’s at eighty- 
nine now. Opened at eighty-eight and 


a quarter. Yeah, Id say it's on а 
run. ... OK, fine... . Үеаһ. ... Uh- 
huh. .. . Yeah, OK, fine.” 


There are perhaps 20 men and women 
standing, sitting or leaning against walls, 
but Ben Carter's arrival has been noticed 
by none of them. "They are sta 
far wall. Located there, high up near the 
ceiling, is а New York Stock Exchange 
Tele-Scanner. It runs almost the entire 
length of the wall and looks like an 
electric football scoreboard that's been 
stretched thin. It clicks with rhythmic 
cessance, like the Teletype behind 
Walter Cronkite, while letters and num. 
bers—New York Stock Exchange symbols 
and prices—glide across its face. wor, DD, 
нок, TXT, DOW, TAP appear at the right- 
hand corner and move swiftly across the 
board. Each symbol seems to silently 
count, “One thousand one, one thousand 
two,” allowing the one ahead to move a 
precise distance, then push off behind it, 
keeping the spa 

То a visitor, the letters and trailing 
numbers blur, leaving not a trace of evi- 
dence on the memory. But the men in 
Wittenstein's are experienced at this 
sort of thing and they pick off a symbol 
with reflexive ease. Also accompanying 
each symbol is information about its his- 
tory and personality and recent perform- 


ev 


ance that shows nowhere on the board, 
but the men know th too. They choose 
one and expound, 

M.! Seventyseven dollars on а 
thousand shares" says a prume-faced 
man wearing brown khakis and a blue 
golf cap. “Goddamn, if General Motors 
would just move, the Dow would hit a 
thousand. I don't understand it. There's 
mo reason why that stock shouldn't be 
movin’.” The symbols glide. 

“BCC. Boise Cascade. Oooh, that's a 
lousy stock. Just keeps droppin’,” says a 
young fellow wearing a Phillips 66 shirt 
“The downside risk on Boise is gett 
less and less. Pretty soon there won't be 
no risk at all.” 

The man in the blue golf cap sneaks 
past fixed pairs of eyes, like someone en- 
tering a movie alter it's started, to a 
couch. 

"How's your General Telephone?" 
he's asked. 
bought at twenty-one. Now it's 


good many people in town have 
begun to expand their portfolios, so 
they watch for special Scanner symbols 
ng private news of profit or loss. But 
Winnebago is the stock that holds every- 
ones interest. Civic pride and bared 
greed set off a roomful of response when 
woo floats right to left. 
“Whooece, look at Winnie gol" 
Stromer is excited. Winnebago is mov- 
toward 90. 
A feverish plea builds from the back 
of the room: "C'mon, ninety. Ninety! 


In the middle of the room, three men 
watch from folding chairs lined up be- 
hind a small table. On the table si 
small electronic calculator, companion 
to the TeleScanner, called а Tele- 
Quote. The man in the middle chai 
punches keys W, G and O and the 
screen fills with information about Win- 
nebago: opening price, high and low 
prices for the year to date, volume 
traded. He runs fingers over keys with 
secretarial speed, wanting more informa- 
tion—price-earnings ratio, Dow-Jones 
average, other stocks, arcane facts. He is 
tall, deeply tanned, his blond hair 
combed so that it meets at the back of 
his head, leaving his face with too much 
room for features. He wears white shoes 
and a brightly patterned shirt with a tie 
that uses the same colors. His name is 
Doug Eddy. Since his father's death last 
year, he is sole owner of Eddys Paint 
and Glass on К Street, Doug is also 
president of the Forest City Develop 
ment Commission, so he got in big, carly, 
on Winnebago stock. He is worth be- 
tween $4,000,000 and 35,000,000. Eddy 
punches A, K and I and shakes a loosely 
denched fist holding an imaginary pair 
of dice, Then he brings his arm for 
ward, opens his hand and gives them to 
the air. The screen lights. 

(continued on page 166) 


sexual circuits 


was 


ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN VAN HANERSVELO. 


EARLY ALL OF US have a fantasy world, a sort of middle kingdom of experience that lurks some- 
where between our real waking-working hours and the surreal moments of our nighttime dreams. 
It's a place cach of us goes, alone usually, sometimes to escape, sometimes to play out relationships 
that are beyond or behind us in real life, sometimes to practice roles for which we're ambitious, 
sometimes to entertain ourselves past boredom, and sometimes even to frighten ourselves. 
There was a time when fantasy was thought of as an almost totally negative thing. Silly stereo- 
types (Walter Mitty, the absent minded professor) and bizarre, frightening ones (the mad scientist) 
served to keep serious attention away from the study of fantasy. Freud examined nighttime dreams as a trail to the 
unconscious, but only recently have thoughtful researchers begun to give real attention to our daydreams as a path to 
the same hidden places in man. 

There are all kinds of fantasies, of course, but it is on our sexual visions that behavioral scientists are beginning 
to focus, The study you find here was designed by the Legal & Behavioral Institute of Beverly Hills, whose psycholo- 
gists asked a random sampling of pLavnoy subscribers to answer a slightly longer version of the same questionnaire 
you can now fill out. The results of the survey were then put together with the latest available data from other sources 
and analyzed into patterns—so that after you have answered the questions as honestly as your privacy permits, you 
can compare your own sex fantasy life with that previously reported by others. 

While you are checking off your answers, remember that no one but you need see the results, Although some of 
the questions may seem offbeat, they were designed to chart the fantasy life of basically healthy people. No answer 
will be interpreted as sick or abnormal. 

Women as well as men may take the test; the interpretation, however, is based on the predominantly male sample 
for which the test was designed. 


How often do you find your day- 
dreams drifting to thoughts of 
sex? 

1. almost all the time 
2. much of the time 
3. occasionally 

4. almost never 


1. someone of the opposite sex 
2. someone of the same sex 

C. Typically, the partner in these 
fantasies is: 
1. your regular partner 
2. a previous partner 
3. someone you know bur have 


1. ends in orgasm 
2. serves as a prelude to inter- 
course 


. How often do you have fantasies 


in which your partner is per- 
forming oral sex on you? 
1. almost daily 


. Your sex fantasies are: never had sex with 2. frequently 
1. almost always the same 4. someone you have seen or 3. occasionally 
2. in general, different each time heard of but don’t really know 4. rarely, if ever 


3. often the same 

. A. How often do you have fantasies 
in which you are admired by ог 
sexually excite a person of the 
opposite sex? 
1. almost daily 
2. frequently 
3. occasionally 


5. someone you have idealized or 
created in your fantasies 
D. What position is most common 
in these fantasies? 
1. your partner on top 
2. your partner underneath you 
E. How often do these fantasies in- 
clude anal intercourse? 


B. 


Generally, the partner in these 
fantasies is: 

1. someone of the opposite sex 

2. someone of the same sex 


. Generally, the partner who per- 


forms oral sex on you in these 
fantasies is: 
1. your regular partner 


4. rarely, if ever 1. frequently 2. a previous partner 

B. What is it that turns on the other 2. occasionally 3. someone you know but have 
person in these fantasies? 3. rarely never had sex with 
1. the attractiveness of your face 4. never 4. someone you have seen or 


2. the general shape and appear- 
ance of your body 
3. an aura of sensuality that you 
give off 
C. Generally, the person who is 
turned on by you is: 
‚ your regular partner 
2. a previous partner 
3. someone you know but have 
never had sex with 
4. someone you have seen or 


. A. How often do you have fantasies 


in which you perform oral sex? 
1. almost daily 
2. frequently 
3. occasionally 
4. rarely, if ever 
B. Generally, your partner in these 
fantasies is: 
1. someone of the opposite sex 
2. someone of the same sex 
€. Generally, the partner on whom 


heard of but don't really know 
5. someone you have idealized or 
created in your fantasies 
Generally, in these oral-sex fan- 
tasies, the activity: 
1. ends in orgasm 
2, serves as a prelude to inter- 
course 


. How often do these oralsex fan- 


tasies involve mutual oral stimu- 
lation? 


heard of but don't really know you perform oral sex in these 1. frequently 
5. someone you have idealized or fantasies is: 2. occasionally 
created in your fantasies 1. your regular partner 3. rarely 
4. A. How often do you have fantasies 2. a previous partner 4. never 


of engaging in sexual intercourse? 
1. almost daily 
2. frequently 
3. occasionally 
4. rarely, if ever 

B. The person with whom you en- 
gage in intercourse in your fan- 
tasies is usually: 


3. someone you know but have 
never had sex with 

4. someone you have seen or 
heard of but don't really know 

5. someone you have idealized or 
created in your fantasies 

D. Generally, in these oral-sex fan- 
tasies, the activity: 


. In daydreams where there is re- 


sistance, either by your partner 

or by yourself, the first thing that 

happens to overcome this re- 

sistance is: 

1. your partner 
whole or in part 

2. your partner undresses you 


undresses in 


DIDLI TLLA 


; PERSE 


CELA 
SSS 


“Go fish.” 


123 


PLAYBOY 


124 


S 9 


in whole or in part 
. you undress in whole or in part 
. you undress your partner in 
whole or in part 
5. some physical contact is made 
—kissing, fondling, etc. 
Which of the following do you 
daydream about doing first with 
a new partner? 
. extensive kissing 
2. heavy petting 
3. performing oral sex on your 
partner 
having oral sex performed on 
you 
5. whipping, spanking or other 
wise inflicting pain on your 
partner 
6. being whipped or spanked or 
having other pain inflicted 
on you 
being tied up by your partner 
g up your partner 
Which of die following do you 
fantasize will happen next? 
exteusive kissing 
. heavy petting 
performing oral sex on your 
partner 
4. having oral sex 
on you 
5. whipp 
wise 
partner 
6. being whipped or spanked or 
having other pain inflicted 
on you 
7. being tied up by your partner 
8. tying up your partner 
How often do you have fantasies 
of forcing someone to engage in 
sex with you? 
1. almost daily 
2. frequently 
3. occasionally 
4. rarely, if ever 


E 


ES 


ым 


performed 


ng, spanking or other- 
g pain on your 


. Generally, the partner in these 


fantasies is: 

. your regular partner 

2. a previous partner 

3. someone you know but have 
never had sex with 

4. someone you have seen or 
heard of but don't really know 

5. someone you have idealized or 
created in your fantasies 

Which of the following acts are 

involved in your forcing fanta- 

sics? (Check all that apply.) 

1. overcoming the resistance of 
a reluctant, fearful or shy 
partner 

2. forcing your partner to have 
intercourse. 

3. forcing your partner to allow 
you to perform oral sex 

4. forcing your partner to per- 

form oral sex on you 

- whipping, spanking or other- 

wise inflicting pain on your 

partner 


“ 


A. 


- How often do you have fan 


. Generally. 


6. tying up your partner 
ics 
of being forced to engage in a 
Sex act? 

1. almost daily 

2. frequently 

3. occasionally 

4. rarely, if ever 

the partner in these 


fantasies 

1. your regular partner 

2. a previous partner 

3. someone you know but have 
never had sex with 

4. someone you have idealized or 
created in your fantasies 


. Which of the following acts are 


involved in these forcing fanta- 

sies? (Check all that apply.) 

l. your partner overcomes your 
reluctance, fear or shyness in 
having intercourse 

2 your partner forces you to 
have intercourse 

3. your partner forces you to per- 
form oral sex 

4. your partner forces you to 
allow him or her to perform 
oral sex on you 

5. your partner whips, spanks or 
otherwise inflicts pain on you 

6. your partner ties you up 

How often do you have group- 


1. almost daily 
2. frequently 
3. occas 
4. rarely, if ever 

‘The people in the group-sex fan- 
tasies are: 

1. all of the opposite sex 

2. all of the same sex 

3. of both sexes 

The fantasized group sex in- 
dudes: 


1. predominantly heterosexual 
activity 

2. predominantly homosexual ac- 
tivity 


3. both heterosexual and homo- 
sexual activity 

If homosexual activity is present 

in the groupsex fantasies, you 

are: 

1. involved in it 

2. only an observer 

The partners in the groupsex 

fantasies are: 


1. your regular partner and 
others known to you 
2 your regular partner and 


others largely unknown to you 

3. people known to you but not 
including your regular partner 

4. people largely unknown to 
you 

How often do you have fantasies 

of secretly being observed in the 

nude? 

1. frequently 

9. occasionally 


- How often do these fant: 


3. rarely 
4. never 

How often do you have day- 
dreams of openly being observed 
in the nude? 


1. frequently 
2. occasionally 

3. rarely 

4. never 

In these fantasies of be 
watched: 

1. you are in your home 


2. you are performing in a show 
or a club 

3. you are engaged in some cas- 
ual activity, such as lying on 
the beach 

4. only a picture of you appears 
publicly 

5. you are in a commune or 
other groupliving environ- 
ment 


. The fantasy: 


1. stops with just being observed 

2. is a prelude to a fantasy of 
sexual relations with one рег. 
son 

. is а prelude to a fantasy of 
groupsex relations 

In these fantasies, the people 

observing are generally: 

1. the same sex as you 

2. the opposite sex from you 

3. members of both sexes 


= 


ies of 
being watched involve your hav- 
ing sexual relations? 

1. frequently 

2. occasionally 

3. rarely 

4. never 


- In these fantasies, how often are 


you masturbaüng or otherwisc 
stimulating yourself while being 
watched? 

1. frequently 

2. occasionally 

3. rarely 

4. never 


‚ How often do you have fantasies 


of secredy observing someone іп 
the nude? 

1. frequently 

2. occasionally 

3. rarely 

4. never 


. How often do you have day- 


dreams of observing someone in 
the nude who knows you are ob- 
serving him or her? 

E 


1. stops with just observing 

2. isa prelude to a fantasy of sex 

ual relations with one person 

3. is a prelude to a fantasy of 
groupsex relations 

(continued on page 148) 


ILLUSTRATION BY FOBERT LO GRIPPO 


article By JOHN KNOWLES 
you've found it, the perfect place to do nothing or everything, 
but what's that small dark cloud out there on the horizon? 


TROUBLE IN PARADISE 


SOMEONE ONCE SAID that the worst thing in the world is not getting your 
heart's desire, and the next worst thing is getting it. One almost uni- 
versal heart's- desire is escape to paradise, People dream of moving to 
the French Riviera or fleeing to a Greek island, or of whiling their life 
away on a palmy island if the Pacific. I've had the occasion to do all 
three: It is dangerous to satisfy your heart's desire that way. It may 
destroy you. à 
I set ош to see the world and find paradise at the age of 22. West 
Virginia and New Hampshire and Connecticut, where my life had been 
spent until then, seemed very humdrum to me. If F were going to bc a 
writer, I would have to haunt exotic places, as Somerset Maugham had 
donc. Even my literary idol, E. M. Forster, despite his secluded cast of 
mind, had found his passage to India and her mysteries. Beyond that, I 
knew there were a great fnany shut doors in my nature, inhibitions and 
self-deceptions and superficialities, and 1 counted on foreign atmos- 
pheres and emancipated peoples to relieve me of those. The 
summer I was 22 I found the enchanting town of St-Jean- 
de-Luz, on the southwestern French coast just 
short of the Spanish border. It had its ornate 
Old Quarter, including the site of Louis 
XIV's marriage to the Spanish infanta. 
There were restaurants serving the 
excellent Basque cuisine—con fil 
(continued on page 128) 


TEAM 


ШЇЇ! 


attire 


By ROBERT L GREEK 


in the shirt 
game, ties count 


You can forget the old 
admonition about not 
mixing your shirt and 
tie patterns. Unexpected 
combinations are where 
it’s at today—and you're 
the judge as to whether 
or not they work. For 
example, at left is a 
patchwork shirt of In 
dian madras, by Byron 
Britton for Aetna, $24, 
worn with a madras 
bow tie, by Bill Blass 
for Seidler Feuerman, 
$8.50, Greater contrast 
is showcased in the 
illustration at right: 
а polyesercouon shirt, 
by Enro, $12, combined 
with a polka-dot tie, 
by Bert Puliver, $8.50. 


= 
um» 
am 


wm 


ima 
«ав 
um 


on solids, geo 
geometries, 
ls the season of the 
peacock (except that all 
peacocks look alike). At 
left is a solid. 
polyester-cotton sl 
with white long-pointed 
collar, by Eagle, $13.5 
punctuated with a plaid 
silk bow tie, by Liberty 
of London for Berkley, 
$6.50. At right: a pair of 
complementary plaids. 
The polyester-cotton 


pattern on 
white ground. 

ton patchwork 

tie is by Resil 


ILLUSTRATION BY WILSON MCLEAN 


h 
Мук) 


ttn 


PLAYEOY 


TROUBLE IN PARADISE 


de canard is the best-known dish. 
There were fast games of pelota (Basque 
jai alai to attend, a beautiful beach, all 
kinds of water sports and lots of young 
French id Spanish eager to make 
friends with an American. With them 
my school-learned French began to turn 
into French French. We made an excur- 
sion into Spain to see the bullfights, we 
explored deep into the Pyrenees. I went 
to sea for 24 hours with some Basque 
fishermen out for tuna and smuggling. 
‘That experience in its genuineness and 
novelty inspired the first good prose fic- 
tion I ever wrote, an extended sketch 
called Martin the Fisherman. It was 
slight in content, but it was vivid and 
true, and it had style. 

My personal life among these people, 
my new French and Spanish friends, 
became more relaxed, more honest. 
They grew up faster than American 
young people, learned earlier to call a 
spade a spade. I remember one tiny 
but revealing example of this kind of 
honesty. On the beach one day, 2 boy 
playfully bit a girl on the stomach. 
“Doucement.” she sighed. Not “Don 
but “Gently.” I remember a very beauti 
ful blonde Spanish girl, an aristocrat, 
gravely and sadly explaining to me that 
she would never be allowed to marry an 
American. І was the American she 
thought she wanted to marry. 

But I did not want to marry her or 
anybody. I had learned to speak French 
and begun to take myself a litle less 
seriously, less tragically, in St.Jean-de 
Luz | was not hopelessly bottled up, 
sealed off from after all. The austere 
New Englander in me was beginning to 
unbend a little, my reflex defensiveness 
and reserve began to melt. If I let these 
people get close to me, I was not neces- 
sarily going to get hurt; on the contrary, 
I might finally be brought fully alive 

‘That much had paradise done for me; 
but I sensed that I had to go far deeper 
into it, and into myself, if I were to be 
the man, and the artist, 1 wanted to be, 
free in spirit, rich in experience and in 
sight. In my mind's eye there was the 
image of what Tahiti had done for Gau- 
guin. (Only later did 1 learn how miser- 
able his life became there.) 

So when I next got a chance to escape 
from America, years later, 1 headed for 
the perfumed gardens and emanci 
pated souls of the other side of France, 
the Riviera. 

I remember the first time 1 caught 
sight of it, this playground where I was 
destined to live, off and on, for a num- 
ber of years. 

1 was in а couchette, a kind of halt- 
baked sleeping compartment, on a train 
from Barcelona into France through 


128 Marseilles and, as dawn broke, clicking 


(continued from page 125) 


along that stretch of Medi 
coast known as the French Riviera. It 
was June. A washed blue sky spread lim- 
itlessly overhead. The cliffs falling to 
the glittering blue sea were a shade of 
burned orange, with the shiny green cir- 
cles of umbrella pines scattered across 
them. Villas, confections in white or 
pink or blue, hung dreamily over the sea 
in the sunshine. Now and then we 
flashed by a cove where a circle of little 
waterfront houses and cafés enclosed a 
boat-crowded harbor. Through the train 
windows on the other side, the land 
rose gradually toward the formidable, 
snow-covered peaks of the Maritime 
Alps. I thought it was all miraculously 
beautiful. 

Getting off the train in Nice, I sat 
outdoors at a café table and had the 
classic French breakfast, croissants with 
butter and café au lait, which is so novel 
and so good at first. (If, two years later, 
you find yourself nervously throwing 
down two fast cognacs for breakfast, 
well, so do French truck drivers.) The 
air was crystalline, champagn 
cobblestone, every awning 
seemed to sparkle in the morn 

And so I stayed, and stayed, and went 
away but came back to stay some more. 
Writers can do that. 

Eventually, I joined a skindiving club 
in Antibes. Among its members was a 
beautiful American actress, married to a 
very rich man. (To protect the guilty, 1 
am changing everyone's name in this 
article, except for Melina Mercouri, 
whom you will meet later. 1 would hate 
to hurt any of these charming, lost 
people; I liked them all, these victims of 
paradise.) 1 will call this actress Norma 
Grant. [ was enchanted by her. Perhaps 
beautiful is not the word for Norma: 
lightblue eyes, the clearest features, 
small nose, ripe mouth, tawny hai 
the tall side, slender girlish-athl - 
ure. Buc Norma's strongest attraction 
was her personality; she was full of nerv- 
ous vitality, artlessly candid about her- 
self and everybody else. And Norma was 
funny, Norma could make you laugh till 
you cried, Norma could bring down the 
house. In her low-pitched actress’ voice, 
she would describe her flying lessons 
and what it was like to effect her first 
solo landing with a giant hangover, put- 
ting her talent, her body, everything 
into it, and it was an experience not to 
be forgotten. 

"The hangover was significant in that 
story. At first 1 noticed only that а glass 
of Pernod seemed to be beside her very 
often. We all drank it, but Norma al- 
ways seemed to be ahead. It only made 
her funnier, 1 thought. 

The theory was that you could not 
skindive if you had been drinking 
heavily the night before, Descending to 


the depths we habitually reached, 100 to 
150 feet, the intense weight of the water 
would push against your gaseous stom- 
ach and make you sick. 

Norma, morning after morning, dis- 
proved that theory. 

She had been here in the south of 
France for quite some time, living in 
onc of the most fashionable situations 
available, a private villa on the grounds 
of the superelegant Hótel du Cap d'An 
tibes. Actually. the villa was dark and 
gloomy and old-fashioned, the kind of 
place rich people rot in, but she didn't 
seem to notice. 

After all, she had her yacht. 1 remem- 
ber it as being 200 tons. In any case, it 
маз a very large motor yacht, there was 
a grand piano in the main saloon and a 
crew of about ten. Her story of crossing 
the Atlantic on board and having to lie 
spreadeagled on the saloon floor to 
keep from being thrown around as the 
ship rolled and pitched was one of 
her best. 

Norma's busy stage and screen career 
became more and more inert as the 
months passed. “I've got to get out of 
that," she would say over and over as 
the date to begin some new assignment 
drew near. And she always got out of 
them. She didn't leave. Her child came 
for a while, but went back to New York 
with the governess, 

Norma's tenth wedding anniversary 
arrived. Her husband virtually never 
came to see her, but for the anniversary 
he sent her a $12,000 Aston Martin, and 
he also asked her to pick out whatever 
estate she wanted for herself here, since 
she seemed to like the Riviera so much 
She bought, for $400,000, a curiously 
unattractive place, a dated, Thirties- 
style spread, all featureless marble floors 
and boxy furniture, mirrors all over 
the place, lots of uninteresting grounds 
around it but still crowded-in feeling, 
because it was on an overbuilt hillside. 
‘The most memorable feature of the 
house to me was a huge bathroom 
with two toilets, out in the open and 
right next to cach other. Why, I asked 
myself, why? 

Norma invited me aboard her yacht 
for an overnight cruise to St-Tropez. 
One of her crew picked me up in the 
speedboat at noon and took me to the 
yacht anchored off the Hótel du Cap. 1 
went up the outside ladder and saw 
"Norma sitting on the long cushioned 
bench at the rcar of the stern deck. Her 
lady secretary was talking to her. The 
back of the secretary's head blocked my 
view of Norma's face. I could see she 
had on slacks and a white sweater. 
"here was a small piece of food near 
the neck of the sweater. She clutched 
a glas of Pernod. Then I saw her 
face; she didn't notice me; the secretary 
gave me a meaningful glance. Norma 
was hopelessly drunk. She had obviously 


“You know what I miss? All the gossip and speculation 
about who's sleeping with whom.” 


129 


PLAYBOY 


130 


inking steadily all night and 
all morning. 

1 remember that the chef prepared a 
lunch of ham sandwiches and Coca-Cola. 
The crew couldn't be bothered giving 
Norma adequate meals and service. 
The excursion to St-Tropez had been 
my idea, and so they gave me many 
dirty looks. 

Somehow she sobered up enough to 
dance in the discothèques of St-Tropez 
chat night, and there vas the 17-year-old 
French boy she found, who sailed back 
to Antibes in her stateroom. 

Norma's problem was simply that she 
didn't have anything to do in the south 
of France, and she was possessed of dri 
ing nervous energy and a need to be ac- 
tive. Skindiving was not an occupation. 
Yet she couldn't tear herself away from 
the ideal climate, the seemingly endless 
chain of perfect days and from the fun 
we all had together, and perhaps also 
from the myriad sexual possibilities of 
that part of the world. Sex in the south 
of France is treated the way farming is 
treated in rural areas. [t is seriously, 
continuously cultivated, experimented 
with, analyzed. 

So the Riviera got her down, but not, 
1 am happy to say, out. Norma had too 
much class for that. She did leave at 
long lax. She divorced the multmil- 
lionaire husband whom she did not 
love, and now she lives with her second 
husband in Scotland, of all places— 
Scotland the rugged, the dour, far 
from paradise. 

Most northern natives hanging on too 
long here in the south seemed to suffer 
a decline and fall in the end. There was 
the jolly titled Englishman with the 
villa on Cap d'Antibes and the nonstop 
hospitality he provided there and on his 
big g yacht. One day he suddenly 
sailed away on the yacht, just before the 
police were going to arrest for 
smuggling guns. After all, uie Riviera is 
expensive. He had had to find some way 
to pay the bills in paradise. There was 
the very good-looking young Dutch cou- 
ple who seemed happily married when 
they came to Antibes in June and were 
hopelessly, flagrantly unfaithful to cach 
other by September. There was the 
American student, passing the summer 
before entering medical school, who lost 
all the money intended for his first year 
there in the inner room of the Cannes 
casino. There was the German lawyer 
who left his wife in the middle of the 
summer for a transvestite from Par 

1 myself did not go into one of the: 
tail spins in the south of France. Quite 
simply, my work came first. I remember 
spending a summer there and late in 
August waking up to the fact that I was 
due to return to the States in a few 
weeks and I did not even have a sun- 
tan. I was working too diligently on a 
novel to get much time on the beach. 

1 found that I had learned all 1 could 


learn, felt all | could feel about the 
south of France, so on my next trip 
broad. I returned to my explorations 
paradise and pushed deeper into the 
Mediterranean world, to Greece. 

Once again, my first impression of 
this particular escape hatch was over- 
whelmingly favorable. The Aegean Sea 
may not be the Homeric “wine-dark.” 
but it is a shimmering sweep of tran- 
quillity, seemingly endless and motion- 
less and quintessentially calm. Rearing 
up all through it are hundreds of 
lands, many uninhabited patches of 
earth, others memorably beautiful, if 
rocky, stark and angular, their white- 
washed fishermen's cottages glowing in 
the sunshine. There are olive groves. 
oleander, cypresses, dovecotes, all lulled 
by the monarchical sun and the unbe- 
lievably dry, pure air of the Hellenic 
world. 

Of course, the Aegean can produce 
some of the most vicious storms imagina- 
ble, and stark beauty can become simply 
stark after a time, but I learned that 
only later. 

I rented a fine white balconied house 
on the island of Synthos. It was hallway 
up the amphitheater of houses rising 
from the operatically picturesque port. 
There I settled down to write. 

If the Spanish and the French had 
loosened me up. the Greeks broke down 
my reserve totally. 

Life in Greece is hard for the Greeks, 
and has been for the past 1000 years at 
least. The land is stingy about produc- 
ing crops, the sea almost fished out, 
there is little industrialization. The 
women are kept in seclusion, the men 
have to work incessantly at some usually 
boring job all their lives for a pittance. 
These rock-hard conditions of life pro- 
duce people with a directness of ap- 
proach, a downright attitude, a raw 
confrontation of the realities that, to me 
at least, was breath-taking. 

I lived there during the years just be- 
fore the current rulers, the military 
junta, took over in 1967. The Greek na- 
tional heroine then, their new Athena 
since her world-wide success in Never on 
Sunday, was the untamable Melina Mer- 
couri. As the result of a magazine article 
I wrote about her and of the affinity 
contrasting temperaments сап create, 
she and 1 became the closest of friends. 

Melina's tremulous warmth toward 
her circle of devoted friends made us 
feel that she was so vulnerable she 
needed our constant proreaion; her 
tigerish courage before anything she 

етей wrong or unjust in life made 
us feel safe and protected. There was a 
constant live interchange between her 
and us. 

I saw Melina not only in Greece but 
in New York and on the Riviera as well. 
It was all the same; wherever she was 
was Greece. Her dedicated companions, 
Anna and Angeliki, prepared Greek 


food for her in Hollywood as in Piraeus. 
We had ouzo (the Pernodlike liqueur) 
and we had Greek wine wherever we 
were. In New York, Hadjidakis, who 
wrote the theme music for 7 
Sunday, came to play her piano. 
danced the Greek dances and we 
not stop. The plates got broken under 
foot and still we danced. My New 
England forebears were cowering i 
their graves as the plates crashed and 
still we danced. 

I wrote a book about some of my 
Mediterranean experiences, Double I 
sion: American Thoughts Abroad. Is 
very hard to evaluate your own writing, 
but the Greek section of this book has 
an unmistakable vitality fe there had 
been an eye opener. | saw the basic 
bourgeois nature of what the French 
were and what they had taught me, and 
I enlarged my vision of life's possibilities 
among the elemental confrontations and 
realities of Greece. More of my hypoc 
risies and pretensions melted away 
under the ruthless sun of the Aegean. 

But not every deluded northerner 
who wanders down there in search of 
salvation can have his destiny presided 
over by Melina Mercouri Much more 
typical were two Canadian writers І met 
on Synthos, Max and Peggy Harding. 

Every evening around six o'clock, all 
Synthos descended to the agora, the cob- 
blestoned waterfront with its shops and 
simple cafés. A glass of онто, which has 
the effect of a strong martini, cost four 
cents. Fishermen, shopkeepers and the 
unemployed of the island passed among 
us, but rarely was contact est: 
lished. The English-speaking contingent 
—about a dozen artists in all—socialized 
exclusively with one another. 

An acquaintance took me up to the 
plain wooden table where the Hard 
nightly presided as the selLappoi 
leaders of the exj late colo: 
took precedence by right of longevit 
They lived on Synthos for seven 
years. They had never been farther from 
than Athens, and rarely had they been 
able to afford to go there. 

Peggy Harding had a scrubbed, wind- 
burned, intelligent face, a lace that 


ever on 
We 


They 


reflected an interested and even dis- 
tinguished personality. She I sup- 
pose, about 40 and must have been 


attractive B.S., Before Synthos. Now her 
teeth were rotting and her brown hair 
was dried out and her spreading figure 
was dressed in an old washed-out dress. 
Max, tall and emaciated to an alarming 
degree, compulsively smoked and, cough 

, sat talking like a scarecrow in 


shorts. Both talked incessantly and often 
fascinatingly. 
He had been an important foreign 


correspondent during World War Two: 
she had had the promising beginning of 
a journalistic career. They got married 
and had four children. But both of 

(continued on page 202) 


brando resurgent—first as don corleone, now with 
а sex-drenched performance opposite frances maria schneider in “last tango in paris” 


LONG AFTER the wildest closing night ever to wind up the New York Film Festival, Manhattan movie bufls were 
still openmouthed over Last Tango in Paris, and not just because of Marlon Brando’s nude romp with a pouty 
Gallic pigeon named Maria Schneider, cast as the girl he meets, makes and remakes on very brief acquaintance in an 
empty apartment to let. Italian writer-director Bernardo Bertolucci, hailed for The Conformist, arranged an early 
U.S. premiere of his controversial new work partly to forestall censorship at home in Italy, where the film’s graphic 
language and rampant sensuality might well meet resistance. Granting his first interview on the subject to PLAYBOY 
Contributing Editor Bruce Williamson, Bertolucci said, “I will not cut a single line or scene, and intend to preserve 


0 TO TANGO 


Clothed in mutual anonymity and nothing more, Jeonne (played by Maria Schneider) and Paul (Marlon Brando) begin warm- 
ing up for their second rendezvous in o flat they have casually decided to cohabit. Outside, she has a boyfriend who wants 
to make a movie about her life, while he must face the agony of funeral preparations for a whose suicide he can't com- 
prehend. Here, they sit flesh to flesh, friendly strangers convinced that carnal knowledge of each other is all they need. 131 


my work in its original form at any cost. The movie is an accelerated 
course in Wilhelm Reich. To make moral judgments is not interesting.” 
New York's response to the virtually nonstop erotic orgy between a man 
and a woman who leave few four-letter words unspoken or what they stand 
for untried astonished Bertolucci as much as the film itself amazed his 
opening-night audience. Some Lincoln Center board members and their 
fuming wives reportedly stalked out. One major critic avowed that he hardly 
knew what to think. Others declared Last Tango "an outrage" or “over- 
powering . . . not for the squeamish,” or found its sexual decadence akin 
to The Story of O. Supermales and homosexuals were thought to like it 
least, though presumably for different reasons, while columnist Earl Wilson 
seemed to echo the consensus, fliply pegging it “the most erotic movie ever 
made.” Added Bertolucci, wryly: “The film is simply a reflection of my own 


Though the games they play include sodomy and rape, Brando bathes Maria in 
a tender scene, typically laced with flashes of mordant sexual bullying. Irritated 
by his stubborn silence about himself, the girl reminds her lover that he is preity 
132 old. Brando snaps back, "In ten years, you'll be playing soccer with those tits." 


life .. . exploring the complexity of love between people." Why the tango? 
Bertolucci smiled, frowned. “There's a phrase somewhere by Jorge Luis 
Borges; he calls the tango a way of walking through life. Of course, it's an 
ironic symbol . . . for coupling. But both characters are aspects of myself. 
Maria is a little bourgeois, my adolescent self. Marlon represents the adult 
part of me, which 1 enjoy less. Somewhat didactic, he teaches Maria that 
the conventions are useless, we have to get rid of them. The girl needs a 
father, the man's life has been destroyed, but there is no guilt or innocence 
in any relationship—you need two to tango. And why do people complain if 
Marlon says a word like pig fucker? The man speaks this way, as many men 
do. Brando taught me the bad words, in English, and we improvised. There 
is nothing new in the Janguage—except that audiences are not used to hear- 
ing it from the screen.” Bertolucci obviously has broken the sound barrier. 


Her naive romanticism fires his bestiality, though it is he who finally invites trag- 
edy in the name of love. Asked to appraise Brando, Bertolucci says, “A man 
desperate to be loved, yet at times he has the serenity of a saint." As for Mari 
"Gifted in a way | have seldom seen . . . never false. She doesn't know fals 


MARJA. poso 


know a girl named maria—with 
“last tango,” she’s well on her way 


ALREADY a show-business veteran at 20, 
Parisienne Maria Schneider is finally 
getting a chance to play with the big 
kids. Her first major film role, in Tango, 
is most assuredly not going to be her 
last. Mlle. Schneider is the daughter of 
a celebrated French stage-and-screen ac 
tor, Daniel Gelin; to avoid trading on 
his reputation, she chose to use her Ro- 
manian mother's maiden name. Born in 
Paris, Maria left school at 15 to make 
her stage debut—without benefit of for 
mal training—as a dancer in the 1968 
French comedy Superposition. Next 
she appeared in Madly, a 1970 screen 
comedy with Alain Delon. Other small 
movie parts followed The Old 
Maid and Roger Vadim's Helle. As you 
may have surmised by now, Tango is 
an ultra-erotic film—and much of its 
eroticism emanates from Mlle. Schnei. 
der. She's already filmed Dear Parents, 
with Florinda Bolkan, and her future 
plans include Michelangelo Antonioni's 
Technically Sweet, You can relax no 

Maria; you've made it on your own. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RATMOND OEPARDON 


Though she sports a few 

beads in these photos, M 
prefers not to wear jewelry— 
or make-up. When she does wear 
* no big thing: 
out-of-the-attic stuff and jeans. 


PLAYBOY 


138 


digger’s game (лшн ыы б) 


think,” Paul said. “People lose their 
money at it.” 

"Mostly" the Digger said, "mostly, 
they do." 


"How much did you lose, Jerry?" 
Paul said. 

"Well," the Digger said, "if it's all the 
ame to you, Га just as soon not go 
to it" 

“Jerry,” Paul said, ^. 
into it, You got a deal.” 

‘There was an extended silence. There 
was a ship's clock on the mantel of the 
fireplace in the study of the rectory of 
the Church of the Holy Sepulchre. It 
had a soft tick, inaudible except in near- 
absolute silence. It ticked several times. 

"How's your car running?" the Digger 
said. 


d love not to go 


ng it in," 


mething the matter with it?” the 
Digger said. His face showed concern. 
"Car's not that old, you don't drive it all 
the time. It's, what, а six-thousand-dollar 
item? Oughta be all right for five years 
or so. 

“It's two years old,” Раш said. "Nine- 
tcen thousand miles on it. There's noth- 
ing wrong with it. I was just thinking, 
1 might trade it. 1 always wanted a 
Cadillac." 

"Thosere nice," the Digger said. "I 

wouldn't mind one of them myself. I see 
one a while back, had a real close look 
at it, Really a nice car." 
Yeah,” Paul said. “But I can't buy a 
Cadillac. The parishioners, they wouldn't 
mind. Most of them have Cadillacs 
themselves. But Billy Maloney, sold me 
the Buick, he'd be angry. And Billy's a 
good friend of mine. Then there's the 
chancery. They wouldn't like it. You 
buy yourself a Cadillac, in a way, it's sore 
of like saying: ‘I've got all 1 want’ At 
least they're not going to give you any 
more, and that's about the same thing. 1 
can't have a Cadillac. But then I started 
looking at those Limiteds." 

"That's another nice car,” 
said. 

"And it's still a Buick,” Paul said, "so 
it won't get anybody's nose out of joint. 
But it’s the closest thing to a Cadillac 
that Гуе seen so far.” 

“What do they go fori" the Digger 
said. 


the Digger 


ill treats me all right," Paul said. 
"This'l be the fourth car I've bought 
from him. I suppose, twenty-eight hun- 
dred and mine.” 

"He's using you all right,” the Digger 
said. "Thats an eight-thousand-dollar 
unit, 1 figure, you get it all loaded up. 
You do all right, Big Brother.” 

"Around seventy-four hundred, actu- 
ally,” Paul s ly one indulgence, 
you know?" 

"The Digger looked around the room 


up,” he said, “right. Cottage. In the 
winter, Florida. Didn't Aggie tell me 
something about, you're going to Ire- 
land in a month or so?” 

“October,” Paul said. "Leading a pil 
grimage. Something like your Las Vegas 
thing, I suppose. Except Lourdes is sup 
posed to be the highlight, no naked 
women and no gambling. Just holy 
water, Then you get to come back 
through Ireland and get what really in- 
terests you, the Blarney stone and that 
idiocy they put on at Bunratty Castle. 
All that race-of-kings stuff” 

"Gee," the Digger “I would've 
thought the types out here’d be too fine 
for that, all that jigging around.” 

“They are,” Paul said. “You couldn't 
sell a tour in this parish if you put up 
ten plenary indulgences. In the summer, 
God bless them, the envelopes come in 
from Boothbay and Cataumet. The ones 
who aren't all tanned in February, from 
taking the kids to St. Thomas, are all 
tanned from taking the kids to Mount 
Snow. This is for Monsignor Fahey's 
parish, Saint Malachys in Randolph. 
He set it up. Then his doctor told him 
he'd prefer the monsignor didn't travel 
around too much until everybody's sure 
the pacemzker's working all right. So 
Monsignor Fahey asked me to take it 
Well, he was my first pastor, and he still 
gets a respectful hearing at the chancery. 
T'I do the man a favor." 

"Look," the Digger said, “speaking of 
favors. I got a problem I was hoping 
maybe you could help me out with." 

"Sure," Paul said. 


“Well, I didn't tell you yet" the 
Digger said. 
“I meant: Of course you have," Paul 


said. 


don't get it," the Digger said. 

“Jerry,” Paul said, "am I stupid? Do 
you think I'm stupid?” 

"God, no," the Digger said. "You 
had, what was it, college, and then 
you're in the seminary all that time. You 
went over to Rome there, you even went 
to college summers. Now you got all 
this. No, I don't think that." 

“Good.” Paul said. 

never had any education like that," 
the Digger said. 

"Because you weren't interested," 
Paul said. "Not interested enough to do 
what you had to to get i 

“Well.” the Digger said, "I mean, you 
wanted to be a priest. 1 thought Ma was 
always saying that's something you get 
from God. You don't just wake up inna 
morning and say: "What the hell, noth 
ing to do today, guess ГЇЇ be a priest. 

“You could've done it other ways,” 
Paul said. "You could've finished school 
the Service. You could've finished 
school when you were in school, instead 


of being in such a hurry to be a 
guy that you couldn't bother.” 

^] hated school," the Digger said. 
Right,” Paul said. “That's what I'm 
aying. Nobody handed me anything 
I've got.” 

"I didn't mean that,” the Digger said. 
“You earned it. 1 know tha 

"I don't.” Paul said. “1 don't know 
any such thing. I think I lucked out. I 
was in the right place at the right time, 
two or three times.” 

"That's just as good," the Digger said. 

“Irs better,” Paul said. “I'l take it 
any time. My problem wasn't getting it. 
My problem was keeping it after I got 
it. That problem is you.” 

“Now, just a goddamned minute." the 
Digger said. 

"Take two, if you like,” Paul said, 
“they're small. I've been here eight years. 
Eight years since Monsignor Labelle got 
so far into his dotage nobody could pre- 
tend anymore, and they put me in as 
administrator. That was in November. 
He was still alive in December, when Pa- 
was christened. After Christmas.” 
І thought we might get into that 
again," the Digger said. "Funny thing. 1 
did time and then I come out and I 
never been in trouble again. Governor 
even give me a piece of paper, every- 
thing’s fair and square. But the other 
thing, I guess that's gonna go on for the 
rest of forever, that right?" 

"Keep in mind how you got to be 
such buddies with the governor,” Paul 
said. "And if you want to bring up that 
Christmas when I was Uncle Father and 
Daddy both, you can go ahead. 1 didn't 
plan to." 

“I made a mistake,” the Digger said 
"I admit it. I didn't think it was a mis- 
take at the time. Now I know. Move 
over, Hitler.” 

"Come off it, Jerry,” Paul said. 

"Come off it yourself,” the Digger 
said. “Big deal. | went to a football 
game. The state'd forget about it by 
now, they couldn't prove after eight 
years І went to a football game and it 
was a crime. | think probably even 
Aggie forgot about it by now." 

She'll never forget 

“You guys,” the Digger said, “you 
guys know more about women on less 
practice than anything ever sec. You 
want to know something? That celibacy 
thing, I hope you get what you're after, 
stop a lot of this pious horseshit about 
family life we been getting every Sunday 
ce | cam remember. Serve you 


“Aggie’s a fine human being,” Paul 


" the Digger said. “You never 
saw a better onc. But the Blessed Virgin 
Mary she's not.” 
“So,” Paul said, "she had your baby 
and then you couldn't make Christmas, 
(continued on page 175) 


Ribald Classic 


the magie ring from Contes et Nouvelles en Vers, by Jean de La Fontaine, 1664 


Man's worst disaster in declining 
A bouncing beauty as a second wife. 

But though this often told, and well, 

The news had failed to reach poor Hans Carvel. 

Her name was Meg. The wedding quickly drew 

‘The local studs, jammed into every pew, 

Who ogled with a bold, appraising air 

Of fruit-stall buyers at a market fair. 

“Hands off, sir! Please don't pinch those pretty plums.” 
If looks were pinches and if eyes grew thumbs, 

Ripe, blooming Мер would soon have been abused, 

Her melons, peaches, cherries sadly bruised 

"The bridegroom, even as he pledged his vow, 

Felt horns asprouting from his fevered brow. 


arni 


Once home, he issued certain rigid rules: 
No coquetry with gallants or such fools; 

No secret visits: no revealing gown 

No wandering alone about the town. 

Her Bible reading, sewing, pious deeds 

Ate all a well-bred housewife wants or needs. 
But, sad to say, his preaching moved her not; 
She listened, nodded and as soon forgot. 


And in the days that follov 
Whatever light diversion se 
To dance at balls, play cards, to promenade, 


, she pursued 
ed hcr mood: 


To smile at men and flirt quite unafraid. 
Poor Hans grew melancholic, for his part, 
Developed ulcers and a sinking heart. 


One night, when company had come to dine, 

He soothed his fears with quantities of win 

At last, Meg bore him tottering off to bed. 
ighed as he snored and covered up her 1 

While in his sodden dream old Hans Carvel 

Conjured a smiling devil out of hell. 

"I know your troubles, friend, but here's a charm," 

The demon said, "to keep your wife from harm. 

Here, slip your finger in this pretty ring, 

And while you wear it, never fear a thing.” 

Hans put it on. Meg wakened with a start. 

With angry looks and agitated heart, 

She cried, “You drunken fool! How do you dare 

То thrust your beastly finger God knows where? 


—ARctold by Robert Mahicu [У] 


ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND 


PLAYBOY 


140 su 


GONE IN OCTOBER 5. from page 95) 


there? Does all tha 
explain? 

Ic was too hot in the booth and Shirley 
and Gregory and I went into another 
room and waited, 

Peter got free, and we piled into the cur 
and circled the large, descrted green, 
lı its row of ghostly churches, and got 


really matter?” How 


ind. 


onto the Connecticut Turnpike, and 
talked 


about Jack at last: "Ist it 
7" Allen kept saying. "What are we 
all doing here? Do you know why he 
drank like that, John? 1 don't under- 
stand. that kind of d But 
what did we do wrong? Do you think w 
should have made a greater effort to get 
down to Florida? Could we have done 
anything 

I didn't think so. There was nothing 
one friend could do for another 1 
cept his nature wholeheartedly, 
the last months, during thos: endless 
phone ely hours that had 
become a h: Jack, I had heard 
the booze speaking out of him like the 
voice of one of those baleful spirits th 

ke possession of the soul in Gothic 
novels. But we had been far 100 close 
for the t 
in shallower relationships. I knew he 


TES 


al in 


idmonishiments th 


: posible 


was serious, even about his dissipations, 
and the basic seriousness of a m 
struggle with his destiny is beyond 


We drove the 35 miles home to Say- 
brook in the dark and cold, stars pin- 
bright like so many stars on so many 
driving nights whe 1 all gone 
somewhere for forgotten r full 
ions when we climbed into 
¢ quenched and 
s went by in the 
night. Home to a 
fire, an immense bowl of Shirley's vege- 
table soup for famished Allen (who'd 
g) and whiskey for the rest 


we 


huge 


We all went off to bed eventually, all 
of Allen saying as he 
glanced around my shelves: “Well. you 
ick's books, I sec. I kept lend- 
ing mine away and 1 haven't got them 
anymore, Now ГШ have to sit down and 
id them again, 1 guess"—a funny. pri- 
vate little laugh. admitting the ambigui- 
ties of the emotions at such а moment. 
Bone-tired, smoked out, 1 had onc more 
booze but began to thin 
ish it, and slept the sleep of a hoarder 
of resources. 


ad out, 


rea 


‚зо didn't fin- 


п 


Up to the russets and ochers of an 
October day through which leaves scat- 
tered into bright drifts, a day that was 
bland in the sun but hinted at winter 
once you stepped out of it, I went off 
to get extra antifreeze, in case we had a 
den drop of temperature overnight. 


1 sat around, 
па fre: 
icld in our 


When I got back, w 
while Shirley made 
coffee, and we ranged. [a 
ntelligences. 

At some remark of Gregory's, Allen 
launched into a description of the Gnos- 
ic theory of the universe. The basic 
idea (he explained) was that the cre 
tion only the first instant of the 
Void’s awareness of itself, from which 
inal act of consciousness all succes: 
m gs ol consciousness 
come, each covering up the insight of 
the other, bur all seeking to hide the 
knowledge of the perfect emptiness of 
origins (the snake in the guden sent to 
p us olf to u uth), and from that, 
ol course, the Western idea ol evil had 
inevitably come. 

"And you see, Jack knew 
Allen said. “That's what he 
about—the agony of «Шеге 
sciousness. He knew it was all a dr 

Tt didn’t seem unusual to be establish- 
ing a metaphysical ground from which 
to think about Jack's death. Simple sor- 
row lor the friend was a private matter, 
an individual loss, but what he had been 
trying to say, the world of hi ique 
eye, the still point toward which all the 
words were aimed. seemed. necessary to 
know with some clarity that crisp Octo- 
ber morning when at last we would all 
0 t0 Lowell together. At one time or 
another, cach of us had talked with Jack 
about doing it, and had made im- 
promptu plans, only to lose them in 
а fume of distraction 
only Allen had ever made it, for a 
few years before. 
the collee and biscuits, my 
mother arrived with maps to show me a 
quick route to М 
right by Lowell, and Allen put his 
round her in simple creaturely friendli 
ness as she drew it ош, though they 
hadn't seen cach other in 14. years, and 
then we all sat down for a while and 
talked organic gardening, root cellars, 
Scour Nearing, the properties of bancha 
lea. Gregory wanted to 
us all, and so we went out in front of 
the house in the cold sun and lined up 
like members of ‘The Band, Allen saying 
of my mother, “Behold, the survivo: 
t which her eyes moistened, because she 
had known Jack for a long time a 
»others, thought of him 
aud un a whom she 
€ son. 
id we took off 
Turnpike through 
hly mottled 
autumn foliage as the texture of 
colored sponge, the car's rear end slew 
ing around with all the added weight, 
and the wind coming so strong across 
the highway that my wrists ached hold- 
ing the саг on the road. After a while, 


sive had 


and 


woz Or 


or two 
Ove 


ine that would take us 
Я 


e movies of 


uly man, 


and Peter got out the harmonium 
ang for an hour, Allen say 
"What would you like to hear next: 
London? Yes, we've done that,” and they 
performed it. “АП right, whats next? 


Call out. your favorites. . . . No, Га 
ing Tyger, Tyger to the last, be- 
the 


1 
cause it's the 
hardest to do. .. . 

The car rocked w 


most obvious and 


voices as we passed through little towns 
full of crazy, every-man-lorhimsell Mas- 


sachuseus drivers; and as we roared up 
Route 495 amo: the ba i trucks, 
the day gloomed over (as 1 knew it 
would, as it had to near the “Snake 
Hill” of Doctor Sax), the harsh, gray 
sky darkening with that hint of arctic 
north that always murmurs the mys- 
terious word to me 
with its images of fir forests awesome 
n winter snow at twiliglu, and prairie 


mensities north of Dakota over the 
line, and finally the terrible jesties 
of the Canadian Rockies that make the 


d ache with awareness of its own 

ificance. In my time, only Jack had. 
ad a prose commensurate with the 
dimensions ol the continent as they 
weighed on human consciousness. Most 
writers no longer even tried for that 
kind of rauge. 

Lowell. of course, turned out to be an 
ugly. ratchety mill town in unplanned 
sprawl along the Merrimack: shuttered 
factories, railyards blown with hapless 
paper мей wooden build 
with their date plaques blurred 
weather over the doors, and the turreted 
town hall with the library next to 
where Jack had read his Balzac wl 
E polite, Low-tied, moody youth. 
when he was Jackie (as he was still 
Jackie to everyone who'd known him 
in Lowell)}—all in a mad tangle of 
evening trafic on crazy, unmarked one 
way streets of cobble, all of it plain 
with that New England milltown brick- 
siding pl. 
My direction signals weren't. working 
properly, the nerves of driving im th 
s hurrying home to suppe 
were wearing me down, but we got 
parked near where Allen tho 
Sampas (Jacks brother 
bar. We'd go in there and get located. 
We tumbled out into а bone-cold little 
square, all but grassless, the air full of 
those vagrant swirls of snowflakes that 
always seem to blow so [оону in 
squares in the run-down any 
town, where the drunks wander 
chapped hands in old overcoats and the 
Ballantine signs in the saloons are the 
only coviness. We went into a bar that 
resembled Allen's recollection of Nick’ 
place. Here we ry honest 
Greek workingman's idea of what was 
wrong with the fucking country: long 
hair, beards, old coats, red hats, cracked 
(continued on page 158) 


ung 


en he 


is а 


rush of c 


part of 
with 


ROBERTA FLACK DUKE ELLINGTON STAN GETZ 
female vocalist leader, songwriter /composer tenor sax 


article BY ПИТ HENTOFF 


alookat the current 
music scene —plus the 
winners of the 17th 
annual playboy poll and 
readers’ chotces for the 
playboy jazz & pop 

hall of fame and 
records of the year 


GEORGE BENSON 5TH DIMENSION BUDDY RICH 
guitar vocol group drums 


141 


SIDENTIAL campaign 
ng spanned much of 
music people, too. 
were into politics. The fusi 
of music and message be; 
well before the primaries, 
when, last January, Carol 
Feraci stunned the President 
at a White House perform- 
ance by the Ray Conniff 
Singers. Speaking directly 
to him from the chorus, she 
said: “Mr. President, 

stop bombing human beings, 
animals and vegetation. 

You go to church on Sun- 
day and pray to Jesus Christ 
If Jesus Christ were in this 


тоот ton 
not dare to drop another 
bomb. Bless the Berrigans 
and Daniel Ellsberg.” 

The counterculture, som- 
nolent the previous year, 
began thereupon to return 
to "the arena” (as Saul 
Alinsky used to call the 
publicly partisan life). Carole 
King, Dionne Warwicke, 
James Taylor, Cass Elliott, 
Mary Travers and Art Gar- 
lankel, among others, helped 
raise sizable sums for George 
McGovern during the 
primaries. In the main 


yht, you would 


bout, they were joined by 
Tina Turner, Judy Collins 
and Joni Mitchell, to cite a 
few. McGovern himself closed 
his acceptance speech at the 
Democratic Convention by 


from Woody Guthrie's 
This Land Is Your Land. 
Not all the year’s 

singing and strumming, 
however, were for the 
Democratic nominee. Before 
he was wholly out of the 


campaign, George Wallace 
had such country singers 
as Tammy Wynette, Del 
Reeves and Geo 


stumping for him. Nor 
was the incumbent bereft 

of musical support. While 

the President's rock backing 
was thin—the Osmond 
brothers being among the 
more prominent of that 
musical generation supporting 
im—Riciard Nixon 
most newsworthy musical 
coups were Sammy Davis Jr. 
and Fran The 
later briefly came out of 
retirement in October to 
sing a tribute to Spiro 


Agnew at a Republican 
fund raiser in Chi 

Meanwhile, perennial 

Presidential candidate Dizzy 

M2 Gillespie decided to forgo 


о. 


PHIL WOODS RAHSAAN ROLAND KIRK BILLY ECKSTINE 
alto sax flute, manzello, stritch male vocalist 


THE 1973 PLAYBOY ALL-STARS’ ALL-STARS 


HERBIE HANCOCK BUDDY DE FRANCO JIMMY SMITH 
piano clarinet orgon 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROGER FANE 


RAY BROWN, 
bass 


MILT JACKSON 
vibes 


J. J. JOHNSON GERRY MULLIGAN 
trombone baritone sax 


CHICAGO MILES DAVIS 
instrumental combo trumpet 


the 1972 contest. Describing 
himself as "the modem 
Norman Thomas," Dizzy 
said that his candidacy 

had always been based on 
“the dire necessity 
of the unification of 
mankind.” The Happy 
Warrior intends to 
continue worki: 
toward that g 
At the Indiana University 
press conference 
withdrawing his candidacy, 
Gillespie was asked if 

his growing number of 
campus appearances 
signified that jazz is coming 
back. "It ain't never 

left,” he answered. 

But there were, indecd, 
signs of rising national 
interest in jazz—both in 
the cultural establishment. 
and among the public. 
Dizzy himself was 

awarded New York's 
Handel Medalli 
city's most prestigious 
cultural diadem—by Mayor 
John Lindsay for his 
"superb and matchless 
contribution to the world of 
culture and music.” The 
National Endowment for 
the Arts, after granting 

only $50,000 for jazz the 
preceding year, sprang for 
$246,925 to be shared by 
individual jazz musicians 
and composers, as well as 

by educational institutions 
(from elementary schools 

to universities) engaged in 
jazz education. Also included 
were such community 
organizations as the Black 
Arts Music Society of 
Jackson, Mississippi, 

and Young 

Audiences of Wisconsin. 
Appropriately, the one 

jazz force most signally 
honored by the official 
definers of American 

culture was 

e Ellington. In 

July, the University of 
Wisconsin at Madison held 
ke Ellington 

tival (Governor 

Patrick Lucey having 

imed that period. 
Duke Ellington Week 

in Wisconsin). For five 

days, there were concerts, 
open rehearsals, master 
classes and workshops— 


the 


with emic credit for 
participation. Students 
came from a dozen states and 


(text continued on page H6) 


143 


KEITH EMERSON 


1 EO 
09.25 
AC 
MILES DAVIS 
second trumpet | 


J.J. JOHNSON | SI ZENTNER 
first trombone second trombone 


CHICAGO 


instrumental combo 


ANDERSON PETE FOUNTAIN: 


clarinet 


CANNONBALL EDGAR WINTER 
ADDERLEY 


2 | second alto sax 
<p), һа alto sax 


ROLLING STONES 
vocal group 


MICK JAGGER 
male vocalist 


DOC SEVERINSEN 
leader, first trumpet 


ILUSTRATION BY BILL UTTERBACK 


BUDDY RICH 

D WS drums 

| ALHIRT | HERB ALPERT ^ 

ird ле! hh: fourth trumpet й 
1 


E 


A] ! LIONEL HAMPTON 
vib 
KAI WINDING , SUDE e = Tf v z 
third trombone fourth trombone ч ji PAUL CARTER 


| 
\ 
j| 


md А 
ЫЕ ьн x 
' GERRY MULLIGAN ERIC CLAPTON 
oritone sax ve _ 5 


Pac 
BOOTS 
RANDOLPH 

ee d | 


Л, ‚Ж JOHN 
x il 


piano 


BURT BACHARACH-HAL DAVID 
songwriter/composer 

CAROLE KING 

female vocalist 


THE 1973 PLAYBOY ALL-STAR BAND 


SCULPTURES BY JACK GREGORY 
PHOTOGRAPHY BY SEYMOUR MEDNICK 


It will encompass а 
ment of archives of Afr 
scholarship program а 
lowships for black mu: 


isiting-fellows project, the develop- 
American music (including films), 
id the provision for teaching fel- 
ns at Yale and in the New 
Haven schools. The Duke ton division of Yale was 
inaugurated on October sixth with a weekend convocation 
at the university where 30 black ns—Ellington 
ling the list—reccived the Ellington medal from ез р FRANK SINATRA : LOUIS ARMSTRONG 
n Brewster. (Among the other rec 
“the Lion" Smith, Mary L 
Mingus, Jo Jones Max Roach, I 
Carney, Marion Williams, and Bessie Jones of the Sca 
Island Singers.) 

As for the widening audience for jazz more jazz mu- 
sicians were hitting the college concert circuit—with some 
of the tours promoted by their record companies. And 
predominantly youthful audiences thronged New York 
night-club appearances during the year by Charles Mingus 
and Sonny Rollins, among other jazzmen, More yo 
listeners were also evident on the jazz-festival scene, most 
notably at Ann Arbor's September Blues and Jazz Festi 
but also at celebrations in New Orleans, Houston, Cincin- 
ti, Atlanta, Oakland (the Bay Area Jazz Festival), Mon- 
pton Institute. 

The year's most encouraging jazz event, however, was the 
successful transplant of the Newport Jazz Festival from 
Rhode Island to the Big Apple. Rau through 
days in July, the 19th annual event included midn. 
dances and boat rides, street festivals 
of sites in New Y 
City—from Carnegie, Philharmonic and Radio City Music 
halls to Yankee Stadium and a Lutheran church. The New- 
port Festival, forced to close prematurely the year before RAY CHARLES 
because a marauding mob of young people broke down the 
fences and seized the stage, had buoyantly resurrected it- 
self. Over 100,000 people attended the 
ing over 600 n ns; and even The New York Times 
was moved to editor "The sound was everywhere, and 
nobody who heard it could keep feet from tapping and 
spirits from soaring like a slide trombone. 

Impresario George Wein declared the Newport Jazz 
Festival-New York to be a permanent annual event, which 
this year may be extended to ten days. ; 

Also certain to reappear in 1973 is the rebel New GESMEE 
York Musicians Jazz Festival, which ran parallel to the HERB ALPERT 
Newport program: July 500 more-or-less “under- 
ground” jazz musicians, who felt that Wein's agenda in- 
sufficiently represented them, produced a busy schedule of 
improvisations at bars, churches, parks, music c and 
studios in Harlem and on the Lower Es ile 
to a cracklingly exciting jam session on the C. 
Mall. This counterfesti as Les Ledbetter noted in The 
New York Times, "gave rise to the possibility that festi- 
vals like Newport—with something for everyone—might 
not have much funne in their present form if that every- 
one doesn’t indude the proud young black musicians.” 
urther evidence of the resurgent vitality of jazz was the 

creation. by the New York Hot Jazz Society of the New 
York Jazz Muscum—the first museum in America devoted 
to the whole living history of jazz Rotating exhibits, 
regular film showings, live music and a “jazz store” are all 
part of the reverberating blue building in Midtown Man- 
hattan. In another kind of institution long closed to jazz 
—the Catholic Church—black music scored impressive in- 
roads, as jazz and other Afro-American forms gly 
mixed with tr sounds of liturgy in many Catho- 
lic churches in black areas of the country. During the 
14g year. there was even a (text continued оп page 191) 


Charles 


ELLA FITZGERALD COUNT BASIE 


97 events, employ- 


crea 


ELVIS PRESLEY 


MICK JAGGER 


THE PLAYBOY 
JAZZ & POP 
HALL OF FAME 


GEORGE HARRISON 


This year, instead of selecting three artists for our J 


Pop Holl of Fame, readers were asked to choose one onl; 
and only the top vote getter would be enshrined. И was 
inevitable, perhaps, that Eric Clapton would get the man 
date. In 1970, our readers picked Bob Dylan, John Lennon 
and Paul McCartney; they were followed in 1971 by Jimi 
Hendrix, Janis Joplin and Elvis Presley: and last year by 
Mick Jagger, Jim Morrison and George Harrison. А sign of 
the musical times: All of the above ten are pop stars—and 
five of them (six if you count McCartney) play the guitar. 


ERIC CLAPTON As we went to press, Eric Clapton was 
im one of his periodic states of semiretirement. It was 
anybody's guess as to when he'd record agam or when he'd 
perform again. H was even hard lo imagine what he'd look 
like when he reappeared, since Clapton projected а 
with Derek and the Dominos, a hippy look with De- 
laney, Bonnie & Friends, and so on. ЎИП, he was enjoying 
unprecedented popularity and interest, partly due to the 
release, by Atlantic, of the four-sided “History of Eric 
Clapton." Another factor in Clapton's victory is probably 
the degree to which the competition has been decimated— 
by death and by the living death to which so many rock 
“stars” are so quickly banished. Rock music needs stars, 
so it creates them—and then, because it craves n 


caser 


im 


ones, 
it rejects them. The current. Clapton vogue may be a sign 
of new maturity, since he has never been a pop idol or star 
in the expectably outrageous sense. He has always been— 
except for his early touis of duty as an art student and a 
designer of stained-glass windows—a guitar player, a side- 
man: a musician, ij you will. Clapton's playing has under- 
gone as many metamorphoses as his personal appearance 
(some analysts interpret all this as a search Jor the father he 


never knew), and he has survived the demise of several 
major groups. Claplon's impersonal but ever-changing 
image and his intense (but also. chameleonlike) playin 
virtually embody the modern rock era, which can. be de 
fned as sound in search 0] style, and is to a large extent 
the result of explorations made by guitar players, from 
Chuck Berry and B. B. King to Clapton and Hendrix. Eric 
first gained prominence ах the inventive lead guitarist 
of the Yardbirds, a blues-based British rock group that 
eventually became too regimented for him to handle. He 
then spent a year living, playing and obsessively prac- 
Ucing with John Mayall, primal sire of British Мис». Then, 
after an interlude of jamming with people like Jimmy 
Page and Stevie Winwood, he became one third of 
Cream, the shortlived but explosive trio that included 
Ginger Baker and Jack Bruce, and which stunned au- 
diences with its all-out improvisations. Cream turned 
sour, though—chalk it up to personality conjlicts—and 
Clapton's next venture was Blind Faith, a muc hi-heialded 
group that included Baker and Winwood and was also 
short-lived, [or similar reasons. Clapton. disappeared on 
one of his recurrent nightsca journeys, farally resurfacing 
as a prominent member о] Delaney and Bonnie's е 
towage; it was Delaney who produced Clapton's first LP 
as a solo artist. But il was with his next combo, Derck and 
the Dominos—the first outfit he actually led—that Clap- 
ton, in the opinion of many, reached his greatest heights 
The Dominos, however, didn't last long, either, and 
except for his appearance at the well-remembered concert 
Jor Bangla Desh, Clapton has not been active in some 
time. 15 doubtful that the jamming guitarist- 
th such soul stalwarts 


ho, along 


the way, has found time to record ч 
as Aretha Franklin and King Curtis—will remain out of 
sight much longer. As contenders Jor top rock guitarist 
flare in and fade out, Clapton's stock continues to rise, and 
he'll most likely appear soon with a new musical bag 


147 


PLAYBOY 


148 


YOUR SEX FANTASY 


D. How ойе! 
involve you 
couple have sexual relations 
1. frequently 
2. occasionally 

varely 
4. never 

E. In these fantasies, how often do 
you observe someone masturbat- 

or otherwise stimulating him 

sell or herself: 

1. frequently 

9. occasionally 

rarely 

4. never 

How often do you have fani 

1 which you watch your regular 

partner have sexu tions 

with some else? 

1.a 

2. freq 

3. occasionally 

1. rarely. if ever 

B. The other person in the fantasy is: 
1 x 


does this 
watching 


fantasy 
nother 


the same your partne 
the opposite sex 
partner 


Irom your 


VL A. How often do you have fant 
during the sex act? 
1. almost always 
2. frequently 
3. occasionally 
fever 
B. itasies involve predom 
ular partner, with 
whom you are engaged in the 


sex act—but you are thinkin 
about a different sex act with 
that person 

2. thinking about someone else 
while engaged in a ses act 


with your regular. partner 
3. thinking about your 
partner while eng 


sex act with someon 


C. И you think about someone you 


have never with, the 
person usually 
1. movie or television perfo 


2 topless. bottomless or st 
tease performer 

. model or Playmate 

cocktail waitre 

club hostess, 


or 


Bunny 


stewardess 

6. doctor, lawyer or other pro- 
fessional person 

7. prostitute 

В. man in uniform—soldier. 

ne pilot 

n worker, laborer 

1 athlete 


po- 


9. construc 
10. professi 
П. other 
15. А. How often do you have fantasies 
a which you dress in the clothes 
I the opposite sex? 
1. almost daily 
2. frequently 


18. 


n. 


B. 


B. 


(continued from page 121) 


occasionally 
1. rarely, if ever 
In these i 
g prede у 
1. outer garments 
‘garments 


How often do you have fantasies 
in which your parmer or you are 
or 


dressed in 1 omms 

costumes? 

1. frequently 

9. occasionally 

3. rarely 

4. never 

What sorts of costumes are 

volved? (Check as many a 

1. leatheroutfits— boots, vests 

2. costumes of a particular perit 
in histor 


3. Clothes of a special occupy 


spec 


tional group—policeman. sol- 
dier, athlere 
4. clothes like those wom by 


prostitutes 


of actually being a member of the 
opposite sex? 
1. almost d 


З. occasional 
1. rarely, if ev 
Do these fantasies include per- 
member of the 


ial. 
up other 


involving a partner of a та 


ethnic or rel 
than your owt 
1. frequently 


ionally 
. rarely 
4. never 
In these sies, which groups 
involved? (Check all that 
apply.) 
1 
2 
3. 
4. 
5. Jews 


6. Catholics 
7. Protest 
В. other 
How often have your 

s involved 
family? 

1. frequently 
2. occasionally 
sometimes 

arely. if ever 
res have 


тей 
(Check all i 


рр 


these fan 
apply.) 

ather 
2. mother 
sister 


19. A. 


В. 


20. А 


B. 


D. 


Zl. A. 


n. 


1. brother 
5. son 

6. daughter 
7. veli 


7. otl es 

How often do ус 

of engagii 

nimals 

1. frequently 

2. occasionally 

. rarely 

4. never 

What kind of animal is usually 
volved? (Check all that apply.) 

1. dog 


п have f ies 
in sexual acis with 


3. horse 

1. sheep 

5. monkey 

swan 

- other 

What type of sexual act is usually 
involved? 


al intercourse 
2. oral stimulation. with the a 
mal as recipient 


8. oral simula h you as 
recipient 
а intercourse 


How often do you have fantasies 
of 


hav 
n control of or 


ag sex with som 


stion with that person? 
1. frequently 


j. rarely 
4. never 
The person in the 
usually: 
a public fig 
employer 
an employee 
friend or neighbor 
5. a doctor, lawyer or other pro- 

fessional with whom you de: 
0. a lover 

former lover 
other 
The person in the fantasy is: 
1. someone you like 
2 someone you dis 
The person is: 

me you want to 1 


re 


ike 


e you 


cone who has power over 
you that y ıt to reduce 

3. someone you want to humili- 
ate or get even with 

4. other 

Generally, your sex [ant 

based upon: 

1. actual experience 

2 things you have not experi 
enced 

Would you like 

tasies to come true? 


wa 


сз а 


юм have had 


your sew f 


1. yes 
some ol them, but not all 

3. no 

Which of the following best de- 


scribes your Гес 
sex fant 
1 they’ 


joy them 


gs about your 


nt and you en- 


“Say, honey, that's a funny-lookin’ bruise you got there.” 


PLAYBOY 


2. they're pleasant, but some 
their contents disturb you 
3. they're upsetting 
99. What is your sexual orientation? 
Т. heterosext 
2. homosexu. 
3. bisexual 


nes 


The analysis of your responses to this 
quiz is divided into four parts, which 
determine (1) the intensity and. variety 
of your fantasies; (2) the people in- 
volved; (3) the active or passive nature 
of your fantasies; and (4) an indication 
of their conventional or exotic nature, 

Each. wer is numbered I, 2, 3, 4, 
and so on. Whichever answer you have 
picked is your score for that question. 
r example, if you answer question 1 
with 2, ly," your score on 
that question is two points. You will be 
asked to total your scores on specified 
key series of questions in order to place 
yourself on the general scale. (There is 
no need to total your answers to the en- 
tire series of questions) 

Part one: Intensity and variety of 
your sex fantasies. Your score here will 
be the sum of your responses to ques- 
tions 1, ЗА, 5A, бА, BA, 9A, 11А, 124, 
13A, 15C and 20A. 

A score of 30 or less indicates your sex 
fantasies occur more frequently and in 
greater variety than the average and a 
score below 15 indices that your fan- 
tasy scripts are highly embel 
pursue preity much all known possibili- 
ties. Forcing your partner t0 engage in 
sexual acts, being forced yourself, watch- 
ing someone and being watched, wearing 
costumes and using sex to gain power 
over others are all a part of your fanta 
scapcs. You fantasize nearly every day as 
source of selfs latio nd often to 
re of real sexual acts 
tasi 
duding more than 
one partner, as in an orgy) and you show 
litle fear in pursuing them wherever 
they might go. 
cores between 31 and 39 show you to 
be a moderate fantasizer. Your fantasies, 
which tend to repeat themselves, feature 
conventional of sexual intei 
, with some orakgenital activity 
and strong visions of being admired by 
the opposite sex. You probably find 
yourself ha wal daydream no 
more often than every few days 
ps as seldom 
A score above 39 indicates that you 
rely indulge in sex fantasies—ind 
when you do, they fall within a narrow 
range. Daydreaming is not generally a 
source of pleasure for you, nor do you 
use it to stimulate yourself to sexu 
tivity. As one respondent put it, 
lasies somehow are not nearly а 
as the real thing, so sexual di 


hed and 


sona 


modes 


cour: 


e 
n- 
good 

" 


dr 


150 don't enter into my daily living very 


FLESHING OUT THE 
SEX-FANTASY QUIZ 


The first two fantasies below are 
among hundreds that will appear in 
a book called “My ret Garden,” 
by Nancy Friday, which Trident Pre: 
will publish in June, Miss Friday col- 
lected her fantasies—all of them from 
females—through advertisements and 
personal interviews in the United 
Kingdom and this country. The two 
male fantasies that follow were col- 
lected by PLaynoy editors. 


We're at this Baltimore Colts— 
Minnesota Vikings football game. 
and it’s very cold. Four or five of us 


are huddled under а big glen-plaid 
blanket. Suddenly we jump up to 
watch Johnny Unitas running toward 
the goal. As he races down the field, 
we all turn as а body, wrapped in our 
blanket, screaming with excitement. 
Somehow one of the men—I don't 
know who, and in my excitement I 
can't look—has gotten himself. more 
closely behind me. I can feel his 
erection through his pants as he sig- 
nals me with a touch to turn my hips 
more directly toward him. U is 
blocked, but all action, thank God, 
is still going toward the goal and all 
of us keep turned to watch. Everyone 
is going mad. He's got his cock out 
now and somehow it's between my 
he's torn a hole in my tights 
under my short skirt and I yell 
louder as the touchdown gets nearer. 
are all jumping up and down 
nd I have to lift my leg higher, to 
the next step on the bleachers, to 
steady myself; now the man behind 
me can slip it in more j. He's 
side me now, shot straight up 
through me like a ramrod: my God, 
it’s like he's in my throat! ‘All the 
мау, Johnny! Go, go, run, run!" we 
scream together, louder than anyor 
the two of us leading the excitement 
like cheerleaders, while inside me I 
can feel whoever he is growing harder 
d harder, pushing deeper and 

mp until 
the cheering for Unitas becomes the 
rhythm of our fucking and all around 
us everyone is on our side, cheering 
us and the touchdown . . . irs hard 
to separate the two now. It’s Unitas? 
. everything depends on 
him; we're racing madly almost at 
our own touchdown. My excitement. 
gets wilder, almost out of control, as 
I scream for Unitas to make it just as 
we do: and as the man behind me 
roars, dutching me in a spasm of 
pleasure, Ur 


higher into me with each j 


last dow 


as goes over and 1...7” 


"ol. d ima 
credibly proper р 


yell at some 
some very ele- 


gant restaurant, for instance. The 
men are in dinner jackets, the women 
dwaiter aching 
with savoir-faire. We are all sitting 
‘ound this table covered by a heavy 
ncn tabledoth, (The tablecloth is 
t, because it hides the man 
between my 
Му with the 
people on cither side. How has this 
man gotten under the table? Interest 
ng you should ask—because in my 
asy. I've taken care of that detail. 
Either he has quietly slipped under 
the table on the pretext of. picking 
up a dropped napkin or he's excused 
ell—supposedly gone to the 
men's room—but, in fact. he has 
raced to the cellar below, only to 
emerge through a trap door at my 
feet, there gently to part my willing 
legs. (It’s funny how little time, dui 
ing a fantasy, it takes 10 sort out the 
mechanical details . . . but fantasy 
time is not like normal time) 
Phere is always the most amazing 
mount of detail in the fantasy at 
this point: me, casually arranging the 
tablecloth over my lap so that no 
one cm see he has raised my skirt, 
or see his head tight up against 
me, or his tongue . . . yes, there is a 


lot of the lips, actually seeing the 
and th 


tongue. Or there is the 
of feer, like a ballet, 
under the with my praying 
that no one will bump into him wi 
his feet! The funny th 
this detail mak 
ing. But mostly thi fear— 
sweet agony—that someone may ask 
me to dance! Or. worst of all, that 
the man under the table will stop... 
that someone will call for the bill 
and say, ‘OK, everybody up. lets go. 

1 put one hand on his li 
don't s nd with the other hand, 
cept a cigarette or toy with my 
lways this perfectly sociable 
smile on my face, but always the 
dutch: Whi 1 going to do when 

(Fm pretty noisy). Until, 
od, there is a sudden power 
aurant. The lights 
go out and pow! In the darkness of 
изу rest t, I have my very 
real, very loud orgasm 


ad— 


ura 


the fai 


I do is think of myself 
the aisle scat of a plane, relax- 

alter the trays been 
away. I've noticed one particu- 
urdess ever since take-off, a 
girl with an open [ace and enor- 
mous eyes. She's been walking up and 
down the aisle a lot s me her 


Lot Wn: 


Pollyanna smile every time she p 
by. 1 don't know yet whether I'm 
being singled out, but what does get 
10 me is the contrast between her 
freckled, innocent face and a body 
that's well, sl ng one of those 
plain white bla at are just trans- 
parent enough for you to make out 
the lace on her bra, and her breasts 
re—not perky or jiggly, but round. 
like little bar bells. She's also wear- 
ing one of those incredibly tight blue 
skirts—the stewardae don't wear them 
1 know, I remember 
were—and old-fashioned 


anymore, 
they 


how 


. at one point, she stops 
md asks an old lady across the aisle 
from me if shed like a pillow. Then 
she steps quickly onto the armrest to 
reach the rack above, and she's such 
a small girl that she has to strain to 
get the pillow. In this position 1 have 
de: right up her skirt to 
where it gets dark. And then, ju 
before she steps off the armrest, while 
her legs are sl 1, she looks 
down at me 
"She's off, she hi 


bend down, and I whisper in I 
‘Let's go back there." 

“I half expect this girl next. door 
to slap my head off my shoulders. 
but she nods. I float down the aisle 
behind her and we reach the lavato- 
ries, one on each side of the planc- 
One of th ant and she looks 
around qu ad motions me in. 
I leave the door ajar and wait a 
couple of moments and she slips in 
beside me and throws the little 
latch. Its incredibly cramped in 
there, barely enough room for us 
She turns 

puts her 


to stand side by side 
around, the same smile. 
arms around my neck, and in another 
couple of seconds she's practically 
swallowing my tongue. SUL kissing. 
1 maneuver her around and push he 
down gently so shes sitting on thc 
toilet scat and I'm bent over with 
my butt against the door. She wrig- 
gles out of her blouse and then pops 
the hooks of her bra. She lifts her hips 
and I tug off her skirt and bikini 
ties and I practically rip my ow 
t one leg free. 
down there on the 
d, and I have to figure 
/ body would have to bend 
rd to manage it. so I pull h 
and she helps me so she's sit- 
edge of the seat. 
been in and out 
couple of times, totally out of my 
l hoping itll last, my little 
stewardess off the seat and suspended 
on my cock, going up and do 
1 I hear a pine: and in the mirror 


backwa 
thigh 
ting on the ver 
Гуе only 


I see the reflection of a lighted sign 
saying, RETURN TO YOUR SEAT. 

^1 hesitate, but she grabs me 
tighter, still rising and falling, and 
the bell keeps going mnc! every 
couple of seconds. but I'm getting 
the rhythm back and feeling that T 
can't hold it much longer and then 
id at the door, a knockin; 
g and a voice sayi 
are you all right—one of her god- 
stewardess friends—but we 
we keep going and 
going and going and Bowie? togethi 
d we cumple and the bell is pve 
ing and the knocking keeps up and 
thea my goddamn foot hits the Lusi 
button and the swirling water starts 
and l'm going crazy and 1 look down 
at her and she's j ng" 


can't stop now, 


«s Tn ked and being held 
prisoner im a room, tied to а post 


like someone about to be burned at 
the stake. I'm weak d have fits 
of semiconsciousness, but when 1 


can get l 
that my captors ar 
very beautiful women who have some- 
how captured me. stripped me and 
tied me to this post. They are mill- 
ing around me. laughing and touch- 
wd. id to be 


14 of my senses, I realize 
а collection of 


loving the whole situation. 
“After a while, 1 cease prete 
that I'm groggy and. seci 
they all begin to remove their clothes 
а slow, rhythmic ritual, encirel 
me as I lean against the ropes th 
bind me to the post. moving towa 
me and touching and kissing my coc 
І begin to come and have ma 
quick, successive orgasms. First а tall 
blonde girl moves toward me, sini 
jd giggling aud teasing 
y cock as I smile and strain 
against my bindings and with just a 
few quick strokes she makes me spu 
Fm able to come every t Fm 
aroused and with no effort а E 
All the girls continue smiling and 
giggling. 
"After many hours of this, the 
women decide to untie me but to 
keep me on a chain. From that time 


me. She 


on, I'm like a pet, still naked, lying 
around on the amic floor, except 
when one of the women decides she 


s to be fucked. 

hen, quickly and without ex- 
ion, they decide to leave their 
ис hide y- They dress and while 
they prepare to go, one of the girls 
again ties me to the post. A few 
minutes later, they all leave and I'm 
there, alone, to be found by a group 
of neighbors. I'm horribly emba 
sed to be found, naked, my hands 
tied so that I am unable even to 
cover myself.” 


often. When they do, I find them pleas 
w and entertaining while they last. 
Since my life and my sex life are both 
fulfilling, 1 daydream less and less as I 
grow older. 

Your age, as the comment above 
suggests, is related to how much and 
about what you fantasize. Males from 
ges of 35 to 50 show a sharp dedine 
the frequency and variety of sex f. 
y, the fewest sco 


in the 
nder 


xplained by lack of act 
experience and/or an abundan 
of free time in which to daydream 
Younger men also have a more diffuse 
concept of their own appeal to women. 
They tend to fantasize that they possess 
some general aura of sensuality, whereas 
older men often daydream in terms of 
specific. physical traits that they lh 
found to be attractive to women. 
Interest in realizing one's sex fantasies 
is also related to age. It appears that the 


older a man is, the more likely he is 
to want his sex fantasies to come true 
And while younger men. particularly 


those under 25, more consistently have a 
broad range of sex fantasies, they are 
less likely to want all of them to come 
true, Since older men are gi ly more 
sexually experienced, they may be less 
likely to fear further sexual exploration 
than younger, less experienced males. 
This is partially confirmed by answers 
to question 21A, which asks whether or 
ot sex fan 
псе. Older men fr 
yes, adding that they wo 
peat the experience: younger men said 
their fantasies were based on things not 
yet experienced—and they were not sure 
they wanted them all to come true. 
vers to some individual questions 
ysis of 


his broad and 


your total score 
nd you answered 21C with numb 


$ (they're upsetting), then your 
fantasies are probably unwanted— 
sometimes frightening—iniru 


You are not 
m imo 
if you have done so, you have 
need considerable re. 


your consciot 
to пу to carm 
activity 
probably experi 
morse afterward. 
If you scored under 30 and chose 
number 2 in answer to question 21C, 
your wide-ranging sex Fantasies are gen- 
erally gratifying, although at times you 
may find your daydreams drifting into 
sexual activities that surpi 
Answers to 21B a 
modifiers of your score h 
chose number 1 or 2, your sex 


151 


PLAYBOY 


152 


re most often preparatory to real ac 
tion. You are the author of a movie that 


you really want to see made, with you as 
director, star and audience. If, however, 
you checked number 3, you draw 


marked line between fantasy and reality. 
Your sex daydreams, whether broad or 
narrow in scope, may be stimulants to 
increased. arousal but are not a deverm 
ant of your real sex life. In practice, 
you probably enjoy a relatively restr 
nge of sexual activities. but. vou often 
take pleasure in fantasizing other. quite 
different modes of bel 

И your score on ран one is below 30 
(amd particularly if it is below 21) 
number 3 in answer to question 21B in- 
dicates that your sex fantasies provide а 
way in which you ar 
solve inne 
sorts of sexual acts but actually pa 
ipating in only a small percentage of 
you have the best of what you see 
ible sexual worlds. 
xor in part опе is 39 or 
grener and you answered question 21B 
with number 3. you are more consistent 
with yoursell. Fantasy 
ferred tu 1 you 1 
est in expandi r sexual horizons 
by translating daydreams into reality. As 
one respondent to our questionnaire 
put it. "Have you guys taken this qu 
You have to be the most per. 
verted son of a bitch 
dream all this stuff* 

Part two: People involved in your 
fantasies. Your score here is the sum of 
your answers to questions ЗС, 1С, ЭС, 
6C. BB, 9B, 10E and 14B. 

The middle range for this part is 21 
to 25. Scores in this range indicate U 
the characters in your sex fantasies are 
people you know and desire but with 
whom you have mot been sexually in. 
volved. In general, it is the partner or 
partners just out of reach who tanta 
you; once a become 
actual sex partner, she is no longer а 
typical subject for your daydreams. The 
pursuit of new partners is ап important 
theme in your sex-fantasy life. 

If your score in part two is below 
ticularly if it is below 15—your 
fantasies focus primarily on past or 
present sex. partners, Perhaps they have 
heen particularly gratifying to you and 
you find mental replays of previous 
sexi s stimulating: or you may 
fear that fan З 
аге just as unfaithful to your regu 
partner as actual sexual activities would 
be. For you, the memory of a previously 
ith your regu 


ted 


vior 


is not your pre 


ve little inter 


ig у 


be 


would 


п the world to 


ize 


woman has 


an 


partner is the 
aroused agai 


two is above 26, 


1 particularly if 
daydreams are filled 
with unknown or im: 
you 


al sexual experi- 
ence may dict need for imagined 
partners. If, however, you are experi 
enced and still prefer to create. your 
own objects of fantasy, other factors are 
volved, Some of the possibilities: You 
are a perfectionist and none of the real 
women you know fits your high criteria 
feel that your 
desires are too far out or dirty to be con 
ected with the n 


ism; you 


al women you kno 
so you invent fictional women to appre- 
or during adolescence, т 
aships did not come read 
you, so you spent your time fanta- 
g about movie stars or women of 


your own creation. If these fantasies 
were pleasant and they became habitual. 
they re hard to give up now 

Part three: Active-passive role. This 
score is a little more dificult to com- 
pute, as it involves comparing two sets 


of scores, Scr A is the sum of your an- 
s to questions ЗА, ВА, 12A and 204. 
1 B is the sum of your answers to ques- 
ms бА. 0А. ПА and 13А. Add up 
cach of these two sets of scores and find 
the difference between them. 

If your two sets of scores are with 
four points of each other, you and your 
partner trade 
meti 


sw 


active sive roles. 


nes, in your es, you are the 
aggressor. Other times you enjoy be 
made love to by your partner. This al 
ternating of roles in your fa 
that you are sensitive to your partner's 
sexual needs and that, in turn, you d 
mand sensitivity to your own satisfac 


tion, You are prol med if 
this is not part ol sexual 
ions. 


If set A is more than fou 
cr than set B. you show 
erence for the active 
passive role. In your 

the seeker of sexual re 


r 


rath 
fantasies, you are 
h your 
tner or partners and you are less 
terested v The 
thrill im your daydreams comes from 
turning the other on; sex for 
a matter of striking the right key 
your partne 

If, on the other hand, set В runs four 
or more points higher than set A, you 
define sex in your fantasies as a passive- 
receptive act, in which vou are nurtured 
by adoring females. Some version of the 
harem y probably occurs to you 
quite often. On a fantasy devel, you 

joy the idea of receiving from women, 
being the exclusive focus of thei 
tention. One respondent suggested two 
fantasies that exemplify this pasiv 
orientation: “I daydream about a har 


in rec 


iving stimu 


at- 


with 3000 women who exist only 1o sat 
isfy me and 1 have recurring daydreams 
in which I merely gl 
woman and she imme 
make love to me 

Interestingly enough, the passive or 
active nature of our fantasies seems to 
ncial success, age and 
Although the man-on-top 
position is generally most favored in fan- 
E sexual 


males w 


ercourse, 


"comes often visualize the female 
on top. AIL forms of oral sex 
im popularity of Fantasy behav 
vounger men tend to fantasize the active 
role (performing oral sex on the part- 
ner), while those over 25 are more apt 
to fantasize the pasive role (partner 
performing oral sex on the fantasizer). 
Married men show a tendency to prefer 
fellatio as rhe first act. prelimin 
intercourse in the sexual fantasy 
Jewish showing a pronounced 
lency in this di the young 
es surveyed. preferred. o 
sex endin sm. Younger men also 
have I ndressing their 
partners. while older men like to d 
about watching a parmer as she un- 
dresses herself. 

Part four: Conventional-exolic nature 
of your fantasies. Your score in part four 


lower 


met 
ten ci 


С 


holic n 


is the sum of your answers to questions 
9A, 10A, TEA, LB, 12E, ЗА and 19. IE 
you score berween 24 and 28 on this 


Saile, your sex fantasies cemer on re 
ctivities. as 
Д 


tively conventional sexual 
our culture defines them. This would 
clude heterosexual. intercourse amd ота 
sex. If your score is between 20 and 23, 
you will, on rare occasions, find your sex 
daydreams drifting to forms of sexuality 
that are more unusual by our cultural 
standards; exhibitionism, voyeurism and 
group-sex ies. At times, these 
modes of sexual activity may intrigu 
you on a fantasy level, but you don't 
permit your thoughts to linger on them 
for too long. 


Scores from 7 to 19 atc that you 
find your thoughts drift 
common sexual 
з the clothes of t 
sex. You find the bizarre in sexu 
s did one respondent, 
wrote: “1 have fantasies in which 
en have three breasts, D have а 28- 
inch penis and science-fiction creatures 
are involved in complex and novel sex 
Г 


such 


acts. 


opposite 


we 


in, this scale is best unde 
stood in terms of answers t0 questions 
21A, Band C. If you have indicated that 
your sex fantasies contain many exotic 
forms of sexual activity and you 
with number 1 (indicating ıl 
masies are based upon actu 
cc), you actually have 


Once ag, 


nswer 


сх. 


highly 


m 


“Here, puss, puss, puss. 


PLAYBOY 


14 


experimental sexuality, which you like 
to replay in your daydreams, 

If you picked number 2 in 21A (not 
experienced), then you are fascinated 
with the exotic in human sexuality but 
may not be ready to engage in such rela- 
tionships. Your answer to question 21B, 
which measures your desire to see your 
5 become reality, will clarify 
Question 21C will further 
e whether these far-out fantasies 
are pleasing or disturbing to you. If you 
chose 21C, number 3, and haye a score 
between 7 and 19 in part four, you are 
probably quite upset over what you see 
as а morbid preoccupation with bizarre 
sexuality. If, on the other hand, you 


answered 1 or 2 to question 21C, these 
exotic fantasies are а source of pleasure 


10 you. One respondent put this exo 
preference rather simply: "I dig impos- 


sible sexual feats!” Another was more 
specific: "I am а 65” male,” he reported, 
d have two fantasies that include two 
те time. They are: 1. 
e а female sex. partner with 
whom I could engage in sexual inter 
course simultaneously with someone else 
while I engage in oral foreplay with her 
(he would have to be tall!); and, 2. I 
fantasize engaging in oral sex and inter- 
course simultaneously with the same 
partner.” 

Few people express themselves so 
colorfully, either on paper or in the less 
circumscribed arena of their daydreams, 
Nearly everybody, however, docs engage 
in some sort of fantasizing—and for 
many, this overlay of crotic embroid 
serves as agreeable ornamentation to the 
fabric of day-today sexual experience. 


“Allright, sweetie, where's all 
that erotic statuary or whatever you call it 
that youve been braggin’ about?" 


JACK, THE TRAVELER'S FRIEND 


(continued from page 72) 
down his nose. "I don't know, I've never 
scen onc. 

"Scen what?" 

He stopped laughing and said gravely, 
“Back home they call them skin flicks” 
stifling with all the 
shades drawn, and the screen was a bed 
shect, which struck me as uniquely re- 
pellent. We sat, six of us, wordlessly 

x squares jumping and 
creen while the 
ed 


The room w 


flickering on the 
tling projector v 

a few n 
ie—something about a brush salesman: 
the opening shot—a man knocking at 
a door. We fidgeted when the man 
knocked; no knock was heard. It was a 
silent film. 

The absence of à sound 1 
tated many close-ups of faci 
sions: and a story м: pted, for 
both characters, salesman and housewife, 
were clothed, implying a seduction, the 
ic plot of conquest with a natural 
an older concept of pornogra 
Ihe salesman wore a tweed double- 
sted suit and his hair was slick and 
I guessed it latc Forties, but 
t country? The housewife wore a 
long bathrobe trimmed with white fur, 
d when she sat down, the from 
flapped open. She laughed and tucked it 
back together. The salesman sat. beside 
her and rolled his cyes. He took out a 
pack of cigarettes and ollered 
Camel, So it was America, 

He opened his case of samples 
pulled out a limp contraceptive 
made а face ("Oh, вои") and shoved 
it back. Then there was an elaborate 
business with the brushes, various shapes 
md sizes. He demonstrated cach one by 
tickling the housewife in different places, 
starting on the sole of her foot. Soon 
he was pushing a feather duster under 
her loosening bathrobe. The housewife 
was laughing and wying to hold her 
robe shut, but the horseplay went on, 
the robe slipped off her shoulders, 

I recognized the sofa, а large prewar 
daw-foot model with thick velvet cush- 
ions, and just above it on the wall, a pic- 
ture of a stag feeding at a mountain 
pool. The man took off his shoes. This 
was interesting: He wore a suit, but 
these were workman's shoes, heavy-soled 
s with high counters and large bulbs 
he steel-toed shoes a man who 
does heavy work might wear. His Argyle 
socks had holes in them and he had a 
ліп around his neck with a religions 
on it. His muscled arms and 
broad shoulders confirmed he was a la- 
horer; he also wore a wedding ring. T 
guessed he had lost his job: as a Catho- 
lic, he would not have acted in a blue 
movie on a Sun nd if it w week- 
day and he had a job, he would not 


recess 
expres: 


опе, a 


have acted in the movie at all. Out the 
apartment window the sun shone on 
rooftops, but I noticed that he did not 
take his socks off. Perhaps it was cold in 
the apartment. Afterward, he walked 
back to his wife through some wintry 
American city and said, “Hey, honey, 

look what I won—twenty clams 
The housewife was more complicated. 
Judging from her breasts, she had had 
more than one child. 1 wondered where 
they were. There was a detailed shot of 
her moving her hand—long, perfect 
fingernails: She didn't do housework. 
Who looked after her kids? From thc 
way she sat on the sofa, on the edge, not 
using the pillows, I knew it was not her 
apartment. She took off the fancy bath- 
either it was not 


robe with great 
(it was rather big) or she was poor 
enough to value it. She had a very bad 
bruise on the top of her thigh; someone 
had recently thumped her: and now Т 
could see the man's appendectomy scar. 
a vivid one. 

Two details hinted that the housewife 
wasn't American: Her legs and armpits 
e not shaved and she was not speak- 
ng. The talked. but her replies 
interest, 
She 


he 


wi 


ma 


were exaggerated 
lust, 


сез: ам 


hilarity, pleasure, м 
1 the lips and then her head 
slid down his chest. past the appendec- 
tomy scar—it was fresh, the reason he 


was out of a job: He had to wait until 


an 


it healed before he could go back to 
any heavy work. The housewife opened 
her mouth; she had excellent teeth and 
pierced cars—a wa le, m 
ian, deserted by her GI hush 
thumped her and took the children). 


The camera stayed on her face for a 
long time. her profile moved back and 
forth, and even though it was imposible 


now for her mouth to show any expres- 
sion, as soon as she closed her eyes, ab- 
straction was on her face—she was tense, 
her eyes were shut tight, a moment of 
matic meditation on unwilling sur 
render: She wasn't acting. 

Mercifully, the camera moved to a 
full view of the room, On the left, there 
were a wing chair with a torn seat and a 
coffee table holding a glass ashtray with 
cigarette buus in it (they had talked it 
Are don't mind? 


ov you sure you 
—perhaps rehearsed it) and, on the 
right, the [ace of a water stain on the 


wall. a fake fireplace with a half-fülled 
bottle on the mantelpiece; the Catho 
laborer had needed a drink to go 
through with it. There had been a scene. 
1 find son. *- 
"s gel it over with. 


Ij you're not interested, wı 
And: OK, lel 

ing my heart. 
shot of the front door. It 
and a large naked woman 
т он the floor 


one else. 


It was bre 
‘Ther 
flew ope 


was 


friend). She joined them, vigorously, 
but I was so engrossed in the tragic 
suggestions 1 saw in their nakedness 1 
had not questioned the door. It м 
silent movie, but the door had opened 


ng, “What do we do now?" 
some kidding fictors touches, 
changing the time of day and my tone 
of voice to make it truer, by intensifying 
it to the point of comedy where it was a 
bearable memory, the story of my escape 
from the blue-movie raid became part of 
my repertoire, and within а year 1 was 
telling it at the bar of my own place, 
Dunroamin: “Then the chief inspector, 
a Seouy, says to me, ‘Have I not seen 
y before” and I 
"Not the club, by any chance? 
says. ‘Jack. ГИ be jiggered 
ing you in a place like th 
plain everything,” 1 says. "Confidentially. 
I thought they were showing Gone with 
the Wind! and he laughs like hell 
"Look, he says in a whisper, ‘Tm a bit 
short-stafled. Give me a hand rounding 
up some of this kit and we'll say no 
more about it So 1 unplugged the pro- 
jector and carried it out to the police 
van and later we all joked about it over 
a beer. And to top it off, T still haven't 
found out which club he had in mind." 


u somewhere 


How an occasional Muriel Tipalet can 


make your cigarette 


"The next time your cigarettes start tasting 
a little dull, maybe what you need as а change 
isn't another brand of cigarettes. 

Pick up a pack of Tipalets instead. 

Tipaler's loaded with good-tasting tobacco. 


taste better. 


Plus a hint of flavor. Blueberry. Cherry. Burgundy. 
It's this hint of flavor that makes 


Tipalets so refreshing. 2 
Your tastebuds will Tipalet 
thank you for it. BY MURIEL 


DR. QUENTIN YOUNG medicine man 


was a rather unexpected choice for the job," he says. One 
might wonder why he took it. When Dr. Quentin Young was 
appointed director of the division of medicine at Chicago's 
venerable Cook County Hospital last July, he inherited near 
chaos. There were a lot of reasons: politics (before formation 
of a nonpartisan governing commission in 1970, the hospital 
had up to 5000 patronage workers, each answering to his ward 
heeler, not to his hospital supervisor); rundown facilitic 
internal battles over the relative value of teaching and re- 
search. Charges were followed by countercharges and mass 
resignations—in the midst of which hospital commission di- 
rector Dr. James Haughton astounded observers by naming 
one of the staff's most articulate rebels, Young, as head of 
medicine. Long а critic of the establishment, Young was a 
founder (and is current n of the. Medical 
Committee for Human Rights, whose activities nged 
from bandaging the heads of antiwar and civil rights dei 
strators to trying, unsuccessfully, to deliver medical supplies 
to Hanoi. Was this the man to bring orderly progress to Cook 
County Hospital? Half a year later, Young, 49, says: “It's 
going better than 1 had any reason to hope. Gradually we're 
wacing more doctors, and some of the dissidents, trusting 
mc, have stayed on.” Young believes physicians are basically 
altruistic, “Knocking doctors as greedy is a cheap shot, But 
the American profit-making approach to health eure makes 
bad guys out of good guys.” He is kindling recruits’ enthu- 
m with his vision of County—and prospective satellite 
d s "the place where а new system will emerge. People 
now relate to а hospital as besiegers do to a fortress. 
Patients aren't passive anymore; they're knowledgeable—and 
demanding." If change doesn’t come, he warns, we face “the 
collapse of medical care into the gap between what could be 
done but isn’t and what the public expects but doesn’t get.” 


ver 


on- 


CHUCK PULIN 


BILL WITHERS now theres sunshine 


тик BILL WiTHERS METHOD for making it doesn’t exactly con- 
form to showbiz legend. It was while he was working for 
Lockheed Aircraft in California—after a lifetime's worth of 
odd jobs and nine years in the Navy—that the Slab Fork, 
West Virginia, native checked out some singers at local clubs, 
decided that their jobs looked better than his, and that he 
could do it as well as they. So he began writing tunes, saved 
his bread, rented a studio and hired musicians to cut some 
demos (after reading the backs of albums to find ош who 
could best play his stufi). Then, for two years—during which 
he installed toilets on Boeing 7175 and wained like an 
athlete for his performing career—he cast about for the right 
pas - That turned out to be organist /entrepreneur Booker 
Jones; once he got Withers out on Sussex. Records. thi 
Tae to move. Ain't No Sunshine, Lean on Me and Use Me 
have all gone straight up the singles charts, and the LPs 
Just As 1 Am and Still Bill—haven't been lags 
Withers sound is melodic and simple, with an occasional 
Gospel touch, and the messages are stories and perceptions 
out of everyday life. 105 a personal style that touches one's 
emotions in a restrained way. In concert, the straightforward 
raps candidly with his audiences, which is unremark 

ble unless you know how long he's been saving his con- 
versation. Withers, now 33, lived by himself. on a subsistence 
level, with precious little socializing or communicating with 
others—partly due to а lifelong stuttering problem that he 
overcame while in the Navy, with the help of a speech-therapy 
course—until his music brought him out of that straitjacketed 
existence; now he can talk to anyone he wants to, and the 
girls dig him (though he wishes they'd discovered him when 
he was 19). What with his recordings, live performances and 
television shots—in one week, we caught him on at least four 
shows—he's communicating with a hell of a lot of people. 


singe 


SUZANNE SEED 


PRINCE ALEXIS OBOLENSKY Jord of the boards 


"ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE and skill can be wiped out by one roll 
of the dice.” Prince Alexis Obolensky, president of the newly 
formed Backgammon Association of America, i in his 
new Manhattan apartment. discussing the f g unpre- 
dictability of backgammon. In a low, rolling voice that has 
collected bits of accents from all over the world, he explains. 
“Each player has 15 pieces, which he moves around a board. 
according to a dice roll The first player to get his pieces 
completely around and off the board wins. That, of course, 
is stating it v There's limitless strategy involved, 

but I don't think that's as 
en. At first, the game 
and emperors. In most parts of the world, 
the masses haven't known about it" This wasn't truc, how- 
in the Middle East, where Russian-born Obolensky 
ed the game. "My father was prominent in the сга 
government and when the Revolution came, we fled to 
Turkey. Everyone plays backgammon there." Obolensky came 
to America in the Thirties and built a highly successful real- 
estate operation in Florida; at the same time, he became the 
unofficial hea mmon in this country. Recently, with 
an assist from ba i Hugh Hefner, the 
Backgammon Association of Ате was established. The 
first American championships were held im November and 
the world tours s played in Las Ve 
ity of the ga 


last. mouth, 
ar beyond 
"I saw two guys playin а gas 
says Obolen ith a board from 

a s told me they'd sold 
9 It used to be ti if 
d looked like, he thought of it 
rd." Now, to Obolen 
are playing on his side. 


inter 


J. ©. Реппеуз. The 
40,000 backgammon boards 


VERNON 


SMITH 


PLAYBOY 


158 opened the car door, as startled as a b 


GONE IN OCTOBER лр» poge 110) 


And what was a pretty woman, in 
her black-leather coat and black pumps, 
doing with that bunch of weirdos? 

But, though we were strange to the 
ers there, they didn't freeze us with 
hostility, and Shirley and I had whiskeys, 
le the others sipped а glass of wine 
apiece, It wasn't the right bar, after all, 
but the men in there knew the place we 
wanted; “Sure, Nicky's place, used to be 
the old Sixty-Six Club, ‘cress town, you 
go up here, take your first right at the 
light” In the end, they scrawled out 
the directions on a beer coaster for Al- 
len, who quietly and politely persisted 
through the blunt stares of men to whom 
he must have seemed as alien as Saint 
the Vatican. 
ck to the car again. Peter took over 
the driving and we went up to the first 
‘ight, made the correct turn this time, 
went down further dreary blocks and, 
yes, there was Nick’s—we'd gone right 
by it on our way into the center of 
town, Beyond its steamy plate glas, it 
was overwarm and modernized 
creamy indirect lights set into the 
back bar, captain's stools, a shuffleboard 
game, and a few tables in the eating half 
of the place, where you imagined rows 
of men dancing slow, armsonshoulders 
bouzouki dances on Saturday nights. 

Yes, the bartende: 1, he had that 
days Lowell papers with the luneral 
plans and, yes, he recognized Allen from 
the time Allen had been in there drink- 
ng with Jack some yeas ago and, yes, 
Nick would be back any time now. He'd 
gone out to Logan Airport to pick up 
Stella (Jack's wile) and Tony (another 
ampas brother), who was bringing her 
up from St. Petersburg, but he'd be 
there shortly, and Jacks body was al- 
ready in Lowell, having come in on 
an earlier flight. What did we want 
to drink? 

We read the funi 
in The Lowell Sun: The body would be 
on view from seven 10 ten that night, 
the funeral was tomorrow morning at 11 
in Saint Jean Baptiste Cathedral. 
and here ‚ reading it, in Lowe! 


l announcement 


"God, 


"n 


we si 


Mien marveled, “and where's Jack?" 
t moment, in came Nick—big- 
faced, blull, blue-suited, with large, 


somehow heavy eyes, the eyes of a tired, 
harried man dealing with some bad 


turning that his life had taken 
tive, assertive, helpful, bearlike brother, 
who was at home in the loquacitics 


of winter taverns. Stella, he said, was 
outside in the car. So out we all went, 
Only Allen had ever met her, because 
when Jack had come to New York or 
Connecticut, he had always come alone, 

There in the frigid street, with the 


wind at ou ks and the northern 
dusk comit th the implacabil- 
ity of a shroud. she looked up as Nick 


but knowing for a certainty who we 
were, and got out—so much smaller 
than P had imagined, wi 
tured, intense face, a wide mouth 
ight black eyes that filled with tea 
the sight of us (no, the eyes sprung tears 
against the mind’s instructions), and she 
choked on a sob as if she'd been struck 
in the stomach and got out, “All of you 
here! Why didn't you come to Florida 
when he needed you?” with a tone of 
fierce, involuntary тесей that 
was followed immediately by a kiss for 
Shirley, and then for each of us in turn, 
because we'd been his friends and had 
come to his funeral after all. 

I leaned over and kissed her hand, 
and a smile—crooked, brave and some- 
how worse than the tears—managed to 
contort her mouth: “He loved you all,” 
she said. “He never stopped talki 
about you,” the tears welling up again, 
just coming of themselves, and then she 
looked at Gregory and actually laughed: 
“Oh, Gregory, he used to talk” 
shaking her head back and forth at fun- 
ny stories Jack must have told her. 

We were introduced to Tony Sam- 
pas—the thin brother, the lawyer, who 
lived over Nicky's bar with no wile in 
sight, and stayed up with the dificult 
drunks, like Jack, and perhaps slept in 
a single bed in a dim room with only 
bureau and a chair in it; weary, depend- 
able 
ida immediately and hadn't slept in 
two-three days. “I'I take her over to the 
mothers place now," he said to me in 
an undertone, "and see you later. 
it means a lot to hı 
t you could come. 
led back into the bar 
with Nick, who took over the de- 
of the next hours with the gruif 
nd thoughtful ease of the best of hosts: 
“Now, you'll have dinner right here, ГИ 
ner myself, a steak, how 
about steaks, and shrimp, some shrimp 
to start... . No, no, you'll eat here 
Now, you have your drinks, any- 
thing you want .. . Walter, 
anything they want. 

So there we were: Shirley and I with 
more whiskey, Gregory having retsina, 
Allen and Peter sipping sherry, and all 
of us going back into the kitchen now 
and then, where Nick was hauling out 
steaks and shrimps and lobster, and talk- 
ng steadily, the big, heavy, tough, im- 
ploring eyes saying: Just don't worry, 
everything's taken сае of, the Sampases 
appreciate your coming all this way, and 
of course you'll stay at Mike's (yet an- 
other brother), sty no more about 
it—My God, why are they protesting? 
You mean, they should stay in some 
motel when they've come all the way up 
here for Jackie's funeral? 

I was amazed at how difficult it w 
for us simply to accept the 


h a strong-fea- 
and 


Tony, who had flown down to Flor 


generosity—the opening of house, pan- 


ту, the of beds and 
food; gnes to include us in 
the bereavement. We 


were continually ying to find words to 
thank them, ch of us needed to 
а kind ef stoic equilib- 
m if we were to get through, and so 
had withdrawn slightly into ourselves, 
where even kindness was an intrusion. 
The Sampases, on the contrary, automat- 
ically drew together in the emergency 
па became a tribe once more, their dif- 
ferences from one another put 
the moment, only the liken 
ng. It came to me in the following 
hours that, as Jack had known, the p 
mal basis for society is still the famil 
after all, and, uprooted fom its suppor 
tiveness, our individual attempts at un- 
derstatement seemed a pathetic. psychic 
orphaning. For if death is one of the 
great life experiences, it is precisely be- 
ause it awakens all the hungers that de- 
fine our mortality—the need to weep, to 
gh, to touch, to help—and its conso- 
lation is the reminder of human frater- 
nity that it offers to anyone not too 
armored by fear to receive it. TI 
individualities 
melted and we joined the group. 

Dinner was spread out on a long table 
in the eating half of the bar—a pile of 
steaks, a dish of lobster meat, shrimps, 
breads, a boule of retsina—eat, eat, 
eat! While we did, we were occupied 
with the thought that we hadn't thought 
of lowers. There should be something 
from Jack's friends, from “American lit- 
erature,” as Allen said. So Gregory 
sketched out an elaborate Horal symbol 
large red heart resting on a lotus 
with spikes of fire shooting out of it and 
five thos with our first names on 
them. But what to say on the ribbon? 
"Hold the heart," Allen suggested. Then 
the end of Mexico City Blues came 10 
d and 1 said; "No, guard tie heart." 

Later, the lotus and the spikes of fire, 
and even the thorns, proved impossible 
for the florist to create at thar Lue hour 
but a large heart of red roses was made 
for us, with white roses around it, and 
ribbons with our names on them, and 
these names added, because they were 
dose Iriends of Jack's: Lucien (Carr), 
Bill (Burroughs) and Robert. (Creeley). 
And in the center, GUARD иш HEART, 

After cati tin the bar, waite 
ing to go to the funeral home. A flush- 
ed young man, with the 
ming to 
was 
hunched over a drink a stool away, and 
Nick insisted that we meet him, because 
he had gonen drunk with Jack so many 
times. He shook hands with cach of us 


remain poised 


wes 


faced, 
look of an c 


улай 


-basketballer sı 
lose his muscle tone to the beer, 


ely and said: “He was something, 

»ugh. 1 ‚ Im no 
slouch with the myself, but 
Jack shaking his head at Jack's 


prodigious thirst, his red- 


sobered with shock. 


mmed. eyes 


I thought: How many hundreds of 
guys there must be who had gone along 
ayslong binges with Jack 


on historic, 
nd told the stories over and over ever 
since, not because Jack was Jack Ker- 
ouac but because he was a boozer's 
boozer, and something always happened, 
something uproarious or outlandish or 
mind-boggling, that often ended in the 
ludicrous jail tank in the ashes of dehy- 
drated dawn. How many there must be 
who felt they were his good old buddies, 
because they had known the surprising 
intimacy and candor of his cups and 
remembered that florid, volatile face 
yelling or laughing, telling them with 
feckless exuberance, “Hey, I'm Jack Ker- 
ouac" but never giving too much of a 
damn whether they'd heard of him or 
not, because it was a great night, it was 
a good place, let's go somewhere celse, 
let's find us a mad goddamn party. And 
how many had fastened on him just be- 
cause he was Jack Kerouac—"Hey, man, 
you know who I got stoned with last 
night? Jack fucking-well Kerouac! Yal 
you know, the beat writer! I'm going 
to drive him up into New England 
someplace next week.” How many had 
laughed with him (or at him) and spent 
his money (or their own) and passed 
out to his voice still indefatigably trying 
to keep pace with the reel of his imag- 
ination, but never heard the drowning 
note of maddened fatalism that had 
blurred it recently. 

These were the people among whom 
Jack had spent а lot of his last years 
cs with а Saturda 
night thirst, the jocks around the local 
loon, tyro writers talking their books 
away, the punks of the night looking for 
latch to build tomorrow on, the wife- 
less, overworked, bored, sweat socked 

nen and boys of bewildered inner 
America, who could recognize a certified 
roarer and his roll. 

Why did he drink like that? I think it 
was because his was a deeply traditional 
nature, so sensitive to social and familial 
coh nd their breakdown in the 
modem world, that he intuited more 
about the contemporary human mood in 
his nerves and mind than anyone 1 had 
ever known. And yet most of his close 
friends were alienated, rootless urban 
types, and so he lived simultaneously in 
both worlds, a tremulous bridge betwe 
two ities bent on denying cach 


other, a scismograph trying to register an 
earthquake 


the middle of a tornado 
k temporarily seemed to 


nd d 


stabilize his psychic ground. He drank, 
as well, because he had no gift for even 
а saving cynicism, and couldn't act out 


the simplest role (much less the infinitely 
complex role of “spokesman” or “proph- 
et"), and because, though he was the 


“Now, who are you going to listen to— 
Gloria Steinem or me?" 


most insatiably gregarious man when 
tipsy, he was not casily sociable when 
sober and increasingly, as he got older, 
was occupied with the enigma of his own 
identity (‘I'm descended from an Iro- 
quois chief,” he would announce. "I'm a 
Breton nobleman,” he would insist a 
week later) and, finally, he drank be- 
cause I don't think he wanted to live 
anymore if there was no place to direct 
his kind of creative drive, except inward. 
But I don't really know. АШ 1 know for 
sure is that it has pained this head for 
years to imagine the waste to him of 
those thousand barroom nights, and that 
something must be awry in an Ameri 

where a man of such human richness, 
and such extraordinary gifts. would be 
most appropriately mourned in a hun- 


dred saloons because he felt he had no 
other place to go—the fraternal warmth 


for which his whole soul longed having 
been exiled to the outer edges of life in 
the America of his time. 

Then we were off to Archambault’s 
Funeral Home, with Nick directing us, 


rolling down empty streets of small-city 
American neon, with cracked sidewalks 
down which one imagined Doctor Sax's 
manuscript “riffing” in the winter 
wind, which was how Jack had gleefully 
described it to me once outside the 
Remo in the Village on a night as cold, 
when we were both in our 20s 
ing with Melville, five years before he 
wrote the book: “And then, sec, this 
manuscript comes riffling down the side 
walk out of nowhere—this terrible, pro- 
phetic testament of what lies at the end 
of the night"—a manuscript which (it 
has always seemed to me) Jack had 
spent the rest of his life transcribing out 
of the oi nal vision. 

Funcral homes arc like, of course. 
Archambault’s was Victorian im decor, 
with palegreen walls, lofty ceilings, an 
ornate balustrade going up from the 
vestibule to—what? The formaldehyde 
rooms. The butcher shops. Wherever it 
was they stored the collins and showed 
them to customers susceptible in their 
bereavement. Two “showings” were going 


159 


PLAYBOY 


160 


on in opposite rooms, and the neatly 
lettered placards (like those in hotel 
lobbies telling you in which room your 
convention is being held) announced 
XEROUAC on Ше left and LEVEsQUE on the 
right. 

‘The Kerouac room was filled h 
people—middle-class, well-dressed Lowell 
people, and a few kids (Custer-bearded 
youths with grave, out-of-place faces and 
miniskirted girls, solemn with they- 
knew-not-what unclear emotions). Most 
of the local people seemed to be Sampas 
relatives, and suddenly 1 realized how 
few Kerouacs there had ever been. 
Later, we met a row of young Kerouac 
second cousins—pretty little girls with 
that dark, round-faced Breton Jook, and 
muscular, abashed boys from Dracut or 
Nashua. Among the crowd was Charley, 
the eldest Sampas, news editor of The 
Lowell Sun, a large, su 
flesh on him, in a well-cut business suit, 
balding now, the successful head of the 
m. his urbane eye on all the details. It 
was Charley who had encouraged Jack 
to write when Jack was best friends with 
his younger brother, Sebastian, who had 
been killed in Europe in 1944. Charley 
had told Jack that if he wanted to write, 
he ought to get out of Lowell, and. per- 
haps Charley, too, had wanted some- 
thing morc than to be standing there in 
his expensive suit, with certain private 
ambitions unachieved, despite his posi- 
tion in the community. There, too. was 
Stella on а settee off to one side, out of 
the theatrical lights that bathed the cof- 
fin, the banks of fresh flowers and— 
Down to it, I didn't much w 
whatever some mortician 
thought to fashion out of what was left 
of him, but I knew I would. Allen and 
Peter and Gregory went right up 
through the crowd to have a look, but 
whether they had seen the handiwork of 
funeral homes before, I didn't know. 
Allen and Peter had observed dozcns of 
corpses on the burning ghats in India, 
but (as Allen said liter) that was nat- 
ural, you see the husk of the body for 
what it is—orgaus, so much simple meat, 
j © of our chrysalis from 
butterfly has flown, nothing 
but the residue of transitory life. But in 
the г Thad seen half a hundred dead 
sailors being gotten ready for shipping 
home to rents and. wives, 
and later my father kid out 
under the lights like a waxwork figure 
in Madame Tussaud's that is somehow 
unlike the person precisely because cold 
skill has so striven to make it resemble 
him, feature to feature, and you stand in 
utter perplexity wondering why it 
doesn’t only to become aware that what 
5 not merely movement, ап 
tion, but something else, the i 
makes the mask cohere, the 
hting up the persona from with- 
the unique and irreplaceable Being 


visible 


that invests the face with human pos- 
sibilities. 

Anyway, I pushed my way through 
the crowd alone, fearful 1 might be re- 
vulsed and that it would all come down 
on me if anything of Jack were actually 
there, and over the dark silhouette of a 
shoulder, I saw him—laid out in flowers, 
in the prescribed funerary attitude of 
tranquil slumber, hands folded with a 
rosiry entwined, in а pale shirt, а natty 
bow tie and a sports jacket. No need to 
say that no one had ever seen him that 
since he was Harcourt Brace's soul- 
ng Thomas Wolfe 20 years be 
fore. And the face? It had been made to 
look as peaceful as a babe's, the brows 
ightly knotted, but with perplexity 
rather than pain, all the fevers gone, the 
mouth not his mouth at all, the color of 
the flesh a rather pale pink in the lights, 
Jacks sweaty, grinning, changeable ex- 
pression nowhere 10 be seen, He looked 
thin, calm, waxen, almost choirboyish 
—and Jack had once been choirbo: ie 
all right—but this was a fai 5 
Fmallright-Jack. Jack, and no Jack rd 
ever known. 
gory was kneeling at one side of 
the collin, crying now, and I looked at 
Jack again and felt for just a moment 
the sheer obscenity of death, the irrepa- 
rable period that it places at the end of 
portions of our lives, closing us off for- 
ever from the consciousness that has 
gone, aud the first sick feeling of gut 
loss came over me. “It will be different 
to write from now on™: The words cime 
back and I hoped that no one would 
ever mourn me so sclfcenteredly. Tears 
welled up in my eves. the involuntary 
tears that we sometimes shed for the 
mute flesh itself. He wouldn't walk, he 
wouldn't run, he wouldn't ever come 
into my house again, yelling like а ban- 
shee, or g 
with his special thoughts. That's м 
felt. His body died before my eyes 
had to accept that 1 was stuck in my 
own body, in my own flesh, and that 
this mannequin was the last I'd see of a 
friend of 21 years of feverish association. 
I put an arm around Gregory and we 
turned away, 

T found Shirley, who had taken only 
the briefest look from a distance, and we 
went up to Stella, who broke down 
again as we bent over her, and Shirley 
knelt down and stayed with her for a 
while alter Га muttered a futile word or 
two, hugged her and cursed under my 
bre sed what? My own closed 
ed to bring up some- 
g consoling, something that wouldn't 
push her over any farther. Bett 
stumble out: Jack's dead! WI 
going to do! And all the while her eyes 
observed me, something going on behind 
her tears: "Is this John Holmes? Is this 
Jack's friend? Why isn't he suffering? 
Is he suffering? What kind of suff. 
is thag” 


Hours, hours—the room too hot—too 
many people to mect—too many names 
to remember. After a while, gu id 
1 went down into the Smoking Lounge 
(oh, the imaginations of morticians, all 
of whom aspire to the respectability of 
theater managers), where we sat and 
smoked and talked about other things 
and kept cach other company. Then, 
coming down the stairs, I saw а face I 
recognized but couldn't place for a scc- 
ond. It was Ann Charters, who had com- 
piled Jack's bibliography a few years 
before. She was wearing a large knitted 
nd a chic suede coat, and her alert, 
intelligent. face, with the observant eyes 
k smile, was pale with cold, and 
nd, Sam, whom I'd never met, 


all started chattering at once 
(death makes you talk, you talk so as 
not to think, you chatter as if you'd 
found a ar soul at the worst cock- 
tail party of all time), and at onc point 
id: "I reread your Kerouac chap- 
ter in Nothing More to Declare the 
other night, and it's the best thing on 
Jack so far." I felt a curious twinge in 
my gut but didn't recognize what it was, 
except that it wasn't just my old rehe 
of being unable to accept praise. “You 
should do the book,” Sam said. “There's 
going to be a book, and you're probably 
the one to do it.” Twingre. The next aft- 
ernoon, Sterling Lord. Jack's 
agent and mine, would say to пи 
know, John, you're really the one to do 
the book. You knew 1 from the in- 
side, but you can stand ay from it all, 
too." Twinge. "No, really, you're the 
one to do it" and the twinge became 
knowledge. The idea of the book—that. 
combination of authorized biography 
ical assessment without 
а does not know how to 
about its most challenging writers 
—revolted me. It seemed a collin no less 
inadequate 10 contain the Jack Id 
known than the one in which he lay. 

I didn't want to go through it all 
again. I didn't want 10 have to rille my 
own memories, much less other people's, 
and try to be objective, measured, schol- 
arly. E realized that I had loved him be- 
cause, on an entirely private level, I had 
understood his point of view with an 
stant empathy that was the closest U 
to clairvoyance in my life, and the god. 
damu book would have то be done by 
someone other th 


an this survivor of the 
last, maddening quarter century, who 
had his own secrets, bad habits, awful 
mornings of hangover, resolutions to 
save himself, arduous days of getting 
through on nothing but nerve, futile 


hopes for two months’ rest, for a calm 
life once the fever cased, for mint-fresh 
mornings of zewful work, For | did 


know why Jack drank, We talked 10 
exch other sometimes late at night, ut- 
terly different men with a similar cast of 


“That’s the fourteenth time you've fluffed your lines.” 


161 


PLAYBOY 


162 shock. We never r 


mind, the same wound in the hi 
he talked to me as an alcoholic in the 

Age of Pot. "How glum Ше is without 
the booze,” he said to me once, г: 
his glass mockingl 
out to me, knowing I would understand 
just what it was that made 
us feel glum—our disappointed expecta- 
tions, and the novelist’s necessity to ac- 
nto his work the irreconcilables 
his own personal hopes struggle 
to deny. 

When we went back upstairs, pcople 
were starting to drift out of the “view- 
ing" room, leaving Stella there, kneeling 
by Jack, caressing his face, kisi 
a hunched, small, abandoned f 
the theatrical lights, her shoulders heav- 
ng just a little. 

We crowded into the с: 
10 the Sampase 
wake," and finally stopped. on a corner 
under а few spare trees, on a block of 
plain old commodious houses, with 
mpry lor across the streer and а shut- 
tered factory beyond a chain link fence. 
We piled out and went into the house 
across a small verand 

It was already overcrowded with 
people. There was a baby grand in the 
front hall, off which was а pin-neat par- 
lor with doilies on the chair arms and 
landscapes on the walls. Beyond wa 
TV room with a butt 


Amy tunic, Mike young student, 
Seba in the central spora th 
beaming young mun in uniform, with 
out of the 
he kitchen w 
traciive women 
restau и-не 
g everyone ош. А 
hid out on the 
dining-room table—fela in chalk-white 
wedges, heaping plates of pas 
of delicious spinach pie and cup on cup 
of colle. 

The house was too small for all the. 
people who milled around the immense, 
250-pound Sampas matriarch, who spoke 
liule Eng nd wheczed down into 
sagging armchairs in her bedroom slip- 
pers, and was brought food and drink 
by other, aging Greek ladies. Stella sat 
among these women, looking at eve 

3 from a new, strange dis- 
m, thronged circle of 
Lowell within which moved his 
curious friends from the disordered city 
s—her eyes asking herself: C 
this be true? WI e up? 

We aie and drank collec, and Gregory 
came up to me with that days copy of 
The Harvard Grimson, wh 
John, you've gott 
.. this says it all.” What it said was 
t I had seen on the faces of the 
s the night before and in the bewil- 
dered young men at the funeral hom 
We don't know exactly why it's such a 
ally read him much. 


Forties at 
full of d 


But today we realize that he meant 
something to us, after all, and we don’t 
know why he's dead. And these curious 
last 1 We should say a prayer for 
him: God give us strength to be as alive 
as Kerouac was. Send us more to help 
burn away the bullshit 

A word about this mater of the 
kids—the hippies, the activists, the chil- 
dren of the Beats. The пех 
were at the church, and again 
cemetery, in their scrufly duds 
Franz Joseph wings of sidebur 
with a camera clicking away, geuing 
"shots" as if they were recording 
event the meaning of which would be- 
come clear only in the developer, and 
most of them seemed to have been im- 
pelled to come for reasons that they 
began to comprehend only once there. 
They all looked as if this were their first 
funeral, and they were uneasy about 
being that close to the death they talked 
and sang about so much, but I don't 
think most of them had thought very 
much about Kerouac in the 
years, They had probably read On the 
Road, or one of the easier books. when 
they were 15 or 16, and had wriuen him 
olf in the light of his recent politi 

nts, tuned out by his unfashi 

ble love of his country 
est in their subculture and 
And yet they came. 

At the cemetery, I overheard а young 
reporter Irom Rolling Stone say to Ser 
g Lord: "Well, it was his politics—I 
min, we cant relate to all that Americi 
уха break in and 
I too casily 
level than 


an 


statem 


“Don't under 
politics began on 
yours.” But how could | say what I 
meam? The Jack who cime out for 
William Buckley, who occasionally was 
about as tolerant as Archie Bunker and 
skirted perilously dose to 
how could 1 say that hy 
МЇ right, smart- 
the young man could quite ¥ 
sonably have demanded, “what's your 
evidence?” There was nothing 1 could 
say but this: Г now їп my heart Uie man 
wasn’t that way. 

Thad argued ъ 


th him over issues for 


90 years, only to realize that polities 
weren't real to him at all, convinced, as 
he was, that most 

of our actual human comy 


truth lay elsewhere—down 
had called 


“the foul «bone shop 

Myo, Jack had the 
tience with logi 
leaps of insight. 0 
terize the alcoholic mind. But above 
he lonely, disappo 
had been down all the roads—the dr 
the screws, the fantasies. 
hopes—and knew in his own ravaged 
nerves what was left at "the end of th 
Beyond ihat, 1 think he felt 
emotionally disenfranchised by the po- 
larization of an America that no longer 


somei 


all, 
ned man, who 


s 
the highs, the 


seemed to care about the urge toward 
harmony that he believed to be its 
founding truth. 

It was too soon to say that he was 
wrong, and so I said nothing more to 
the young man from Rolling Stone. 
Still, the presence of those kids at his fu- 
neral leads me to conclude that the obit 
in the Crimson accurately reflected а 
feeling of mysterious kinship that Jack's 
sudden death aroused in so many of 
the young. 

The evening inched along with ex- 
quise slowness. We were all depleted, 
our brains numbed remembering names, 
nd some of us longed for a drink, and 
others for sleep. and finally Stella got 
wp and padded through the crowds 
without a word and went to bed. We 
stayed on lor a while, and then piled 


into the car again and went on to 
Mike's house, following the red eye of 
taillight. 


‚ three-storied 
porte-cochere, 
in a style that mi dubbed Mill 
New Engl took our bags 
ry eyes into а hug 
paneled kitche 
Protestant girl from Marietta, Ohio (her 
able nature shaped by the 
of the river there, аз par 
rivers shape the natures of those 
live beside them), was there—a 
goodlooking woman, a no- 
nonsense nester of children, quietly 
observant, the kind of woman who likes 
to sink down into an easy chair after the 
day is over and have a convivial drink 
with her husband, She had been around 
most of the evening, pleasant but unob- 
trusive, keeping in the background the 
J large, tight-knit, 
boisterous family usually does. But now 
she was in her own house, and she got 
our drinks while Mike took us up to the 
third floor and our rooms. 

We up through the enormous 
house with its 124oot ceilings and hea 
ily varnished woodwork, its black-and 
gold-marble mantels and ornate brass 
hstures in the bathrooms. Two little 
boys were sleeping so soundly in one 
room that even our wamping through 

^C cause dh nd there 
were two litte girls in another room 
amid a prolusion of dolls and Twiggy 
posters, and. there was Tony, the son of 


The house wa 


torian mansi 


who 
chubby 


went 


m lo s 


12, who had his room up on the third 
lloor near ours. It wa ible of hi-fi, 
lower power, Cl own and, lo, a 
huge Allen Ginsberg poster photo, The 


boy was giddy with the idea that he was 
actually in his very own house, and you 
could feel his impatience for tomorrow, 
and school, and his buddies. Allen 
promptly whipped out a pen and wrote 
his name and a line or two on the poster. 

Downstairs, the roll daughter, 
а self-contained young creature with a 
fall of fine brown hair on her shoulders 

па a pretty, coltish Face, sat with us 


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«exhausted, we fi dow. I shaved as Shirley packed us up. — Morning Lowell. reminded me of Fall 
{with her parents. Probably we wouldn't be coming back River or New Bedford—trampled school 
If ıo bed amd here, Allen had to go to New York that lots full of children, factories asmoke, 
id we night and he would be driving into the mild air of autumn amid the yel 
Shirley on a Logan with the Charterses. Peter and lowing trees. The street in front ol 
ıo Gregory would go back to the farm with ules was full of funeral direc 
eley, who was coming over y suede gloves, str 
. We would 


one of the. parlors 
nally had a big dri 


G 
oll 
couch, I s 


Mlen sat wi 
nk into a ‚атт 
savor the taste of the bourbon on gums Robert € 
anesthetized by too many cigarettes and — from Syracuxc for the funes 
we talked of lı, the girl listening just go on home s in communion with the mysteries 
gravely, saving Little or nothing. but Down in the kitchen. two of Jack's ol los tics, We were g nto the line 
very adult in her attention fiends from Albany were going into and went inside. 

“I's really strange,” Allen said. “With their 20th hour awake. Га seen them IU was just like the night belore, ex- 
all of you. all of this, all Lowell... Do the night before at the Sampas home, cept Шш а paleyellow, Chekhov i 
think it ant Inve happened if and afterward, аз it turned ош, heyd bathed ше room where Jack hy i 
he'd stayed here instead of moving down опе on to the bars to mourn aed ce waxen. musing pose. Gregory to k mov 
10 Florida? nd now they had turned ap at des to the silem shock of Sampases. and 

“Wal, we could have at least pro- Shirley and D sat in the vestibule, wait- 
tected him a litle." Mike said. ^I mean, »h ross. Allen appeared, his face Then our names were called and we 
you know, the police all knew him here, ed by sleep. not a psychic burr on went back to the саг again and pulled 
et him out of him. and had a cup of tea. Gregory out toward the church. There were cops 
1 à binge, We could e down muzzily and sipped a light and more funeral directors in the nar- 
We shouldn't whiskey. We were due at the funera] row street, people were v i 
have let his mother insist on the move. home at ten. as it turned out, so that tie the wide steps of the «шефа, 
I mean, Jack and Stella did't really Gus could be properly lined up for the sim gilded the Iwickred upper stori 
jı 1o go down there. He wrote Tony procesion to the church, I had hoped to of. commercial buildings. We double 
jist iwo Weeks ago thar somehow they'd go out for a walk on my own, just toget parked in the Jine, got out and queued 
tome back in rhe spring. We «ант de the air, to sniff out Lowell ambiance, up with the “family & friends "—who, ac 
es к solemn, worried but there wasn't going to be time. Sud- cording to the logistics, were 10 troop in 
t. Inside. the 
, pale 


ped trousers 
d the sellsatislied Faces ol trathe man 


s for collec and some of Betty's 


amd we'd go dow 
jail when he wen 
have looked alter him. . 


enough. | 


bling none of the other Sam- епу. in [act îl was ten of ten and solemnly at the Гам mome 


pases (tone of whom resembled any Peter was awakened with only time 10 church was all опу | 
othe il the loins of the parents hid gulp a quick mug of coffee and we columns dirk-wood pews, the 
comained whole tribes). with his dark were oll. glass v 
brows of puzzled concern, his bony nose 
a mim kept thin with worry as his wile 
yp with childbearing: an upright 
man wo esponsibility lor 
the death of a crazy brother-in-law 
“Well” Allen said, “L was interested 
to see his face. Did anyone think to take 
a pawe of him?" This tightened 
gut a Tittle, but I understood Allens 
long view, and rime makes mos pro 
pricties seem silly. "Aud by the way, 1 
really think one of his Iriends should be 
а pallbearer.” 
J, too, lelt that one of us one of 
ack s [ricuds, should help bear his pall, 
but rejected Men's notion that we draw 
lots and insisted that he be the one, 
being the oldest friend among us, and 
he accepted. the suggestion. But 1 w 
dead out, and gulped а quick second 
drink, and Shirley and 1 went oll to bed 
up under the caves of that many- 
mibered house, opening the shutters 


ndows over the altar—blue and 


wot plu 


ed about 


d 
ol u 
liere stars burning over New Ha 
shire, under whici Jack and I had di 
covered that we had both walked (me, 
along the Pemigewasset River; he, along 
the Merrimack into which it flowed) on 
ndy night alter the big Hood 
only one ol the many odd co- 
incidences (like the fact that we had 
been born on the same day in March) 
that had lent our friendship a special, 
atherly quality 


je window 10 look brielly out at the 
mp- 


wned fir and milder 
with tall, white, 


The mon 
than the day befor 
supple birches outside that high win- 


163 


PLAYBOY 


164 down, and couldn't pray, but sa 


reen and red in the lovely sun—depict- 
ing saints in the tall, Grecoesque maj- 
esty of their robe: 
We were led down to 


point just be. 
hind the pews reserved for the family, 
b Shirley (shrouded in a black-lace 
жаг that had materialized out. of her 
purse) pulled down the knee rest auto- 
matically, ex-Catholic as she was, and all 
at once I could feel her grief. She was 
tensing toward the austere words of the 
Mass that would finalize it all for her. 
There was no help for her now, she was 


going to have to endure that celebration 
of the mystery of Death from which the 


renegade Catholic can Пее, but never 
far enough, and she couldn't just “get 
through it" as Т could. The fact was 
oing to be nailed down in her con- 
sciousness, She and Jack had been 
lapsed Catholics together, they had had 
that between them like the stoicism of 
smokers who accept the c 
s but refuse to quit, and so much 
too—a certain bantering camarade- 


ele 
rie: a перенес memory for the lyrics 
of all the songs: an unspoken acknowl- 


edgment of the frailty behind life's 
poses: me. To Shirley, I knew, Jack's 
death had been an inevitability, not be- 
ise of the booze (she was married to 
а boozer of sorts, she'd nursed my gr 
ied learned to accept the prodi- 
gious thirsts of a secret idealist whose 
private motto was Break the Black 
Heart) but because down in herself she 
believed that the best of life came down 
She believed that there was a 
ty that tracked. every one of us 
out of season, She м soldier who was 
revulsed by the war of life but stub- 
bornly wouldn't desert it, She һай that 
toughness that comes only from certain 
bitter acceptances made when one is too 
young to recognize the sadder, more 
bivalent options, and she had learned to 
hold on to people who were special to 
her with open hands—and Jack had 
heen speci r in a way that 1 
tle 10 do with me. And now the ritual of 
the Mass, which would have been a ca- 
tharsis for the devout. promised her 
nothing but the cold clarities and losses 
of the morgue. 

The thn and the ers came 
down past us (Mlen there in his beard 
and beads) and the Mass began. И was 
a High Requiem Mass, performed. in 
English, with the priest facing us instead 
of the altar, but 1 couldn't concentrate 
on it. І got up and stood, 1 sat when 
others sat, I listened to the chants, the 


responses, and registered none of it. 1 
stared at the collin and thought of Jack 
inside it, The priest, an old friend of 


Jack's of whom I'd heard stories Гог 20 
years, gave the culogy, а good eulogy, 
too 


my doubter's troubled mind, 1 
thought it a good job of work), and T 
up and stood dumb in my shoes, 


words of the Lord's Prayer when it 
and honestly hoped their hope, 
ag that Jack's hunger for continu- 
ity, Jack's essential reverence, was being 
well served. Communion. And at last 
Shirley wept 

Then it was finished. the priest сі 
cling the casket with the swaying censer 
as the funeral directors came up, genu- 
flecting automatically with the wheeze 
of too шапу Kavish dinners, shepherding 
the pallbearers to their proper | 
and we filed out, down the long ай 
hind Stella and the family. out in 
n, where. photographers jumped 
about. and Allen sood next to the 
heane being interviewed, a crisp wind 
rullling his beard there in rhe traic 
jammed street. Suddenly, there was Rob- 
ert Creeley, too—wiry as a guitar string, 


and graceful, with the meticulous small 
beard of a bravo or a cavalier, in a 
proper suit and short overcoat, his one 
busy eve saying, "Ves. Av last. Funny 
Well. We all do exist, after all.” as we 
were introduced. 

We piled imo the car and again 


moved off in the procession, Creeley 
coming along with us. There was noth- 
ng to say, and so we chatted, 
wd 1 lit cigmeues for him. and 
Shirley commented on the brevity of the 
new Mass and I thought about these 
streets, every name of which Td known 
for two decades, and it seemed to be 
miles before we reached the cemetery 
gates, where the line of cars paused, then 
moved on. came to a мор at Там. 
We got out into the musing. somber air 
that New England gravevards exude, the 
leaves drifting amid old 
meandering walks, and there, beyond 
some trees, а green canopy had been 
raised over the fresh-dug grave. 

Brief ceremonies to which T didn't lis- 
ien. The late October breeze stirred in 
the elms. the crowds milled, photogra 
phers posed getting poses, But 
monies case the sight of a collin poised 
nd Stella stood 


Peter 


the 


stones and 


aves 


no cerc- 


ves raw hol 


over a 
there before it, shrouded now in wid- 
ow's veils, her arm held by Charley, the 


eldest. as the last stark prayer was said, 
Then there was a rush to grab flowers 
and toss them onto the casket. I looked 
on. а few steps ам Hen and Peter 
and Gregory were sclecting roses [rom 
our flower heart, red roses that they laid 
on the burnished-bronze surface of thc 
casket. Т went up and took a white rose 
1 put it over the place where Jack's 
ad lay. The young man from Rolling 
Stone was at my elbow, asking irrelevant 
questions, Why did Jack drink? Was he, 
in my opinion, a significant writer? 
What had he thought of rock? I took 
note of all this but felt nothing. 
Mlen and Gregory stand 
near the сойм that was about to be low- 
nd 1 broke away. I didn't have 
another word in me. I stood with them, 


Т saw y 


and the funeral man pressed some sort 
of button and, easy as grease, Jack went 
down into the ground. “Fiere, you 
should throw the first dirt? someone 
Allen, а strange young man in 
k clothes, Allen reached down 
to the pile and clenched up a handful 
and tossed it. Then Gregory, the same 
Jt was hard to get a real handful because 
of the stones, Then me. I took up th 
stones, 100, and openhanded them dow: 
onto Jack's head. 

Confusion, milling ag 

ound and didnt know 
rley stayed on the edges of the crowd, 
kh was dispersing now. Creeley 
looked on with a cold eye, doing it his 
own мау. We all tarried, and then 
turned to leave, but the gravedigge 
were spacing the dirt down omo the саз 
ket, joking to one another, so we turned 
back there under the cold. Iunering 
trees and watched the pile of earth. fill 
the hole. P don't know why we all 
turned back at the same time—some last 
awareness of what was being sealed. olf 
from us by the spades, 1 suppose. And 
then we'd all had enough. and drifted 
back to the car to finish it up. 

‘There was a lighter mood in ihe lile 
ms of the Sampuses’ mother's house 


said to 


we and 


1 stood 


what to do, 


то 
now, a mood not unmixed with that fa 
miliar upwelling of relief that follows a 
bad experience. There were paper cups 
of Scotch and cans of soda and beer and 
another lavish spread—the fish that is 
traditional on such occasions with the 
Greeks, plus macaroni dishes, rolls, s 
ads, all Drought around in the сток by 
those large. darkly beautiful women. 

I was looking for an opportunity to 
talk to Stella, so 1 waited my time and 
ate some of the good food. Then Ster- 
Jing Lord was nearby, against a wall in 
the dining тоот with his plate, and we 
talked a litle, No, Jack hadn't been 
“drinking heavily for three days" as 
most of the papers had it, just drinking 
dong as usual but he'd been feeling 
baddish for a month, and all of a sudden 
he'd started to hemorrhage, and. didn't 
want a doctor, but Stella had called the 
ambulance anyway, and they'd worked 
over him for hours. then his liver quit, 
nd the surgery didn't help. and that 
was that. No, he probably hadn't be 
conscious much after he'd been taki 
from the house. 

At th moment, 1 noticed that Stella 
was мий door with a friend 
and Pw She seemed put 
togel the sight of me 
brought tears up imo her eyes, tears that 
acknowledged the strange situation be- 
tween us: We had never met, vet there 
was y for us to be reserved. polite 
or cautious with each other; we had to 
stumble through some relerence 19 the 
occurrence il ^t about our 
meeting at last; the irony was too bald 
to be covered by a witticism, So we said 
the w ıt Jack had meant to me, 


up to ho 


though 


ds: wi 


what 1 had meant to Jack, And that 
being over, she could brighten a litle 
and we could get to know each other. 

“Tve had a few drinks.” she said, dry: 
eyed now, small, a fine toughness of 
fiber emerging. "You know. 1 never 
drank with Jack. He didn't want me 
о..." We laugl that. be- 
cause Jack had the boozer's secret disip- 
proval of booze, and he viewed it in 
moral terms 


«d about 


Those list dayy—Fd never know the 
fun they'd had together! The 
pennant run, the Series. He'd caught her 
10 play ches, shed taught him to play 
poker. They'd done ol siting 
round. Не had wu э leave the 


house much. And that place, St. Pete 
it was no town for younger people. 
Jack hadn't known anyone there. И was 
only because of his mother that they'd 
ever moved Irom Lowell. She shook her 
head, able not to say some of the thin 


that were stirring up in hero “But 
those vultures! she said suddenly. “The 
people who cime around to see "the Li- 


mous writer. . . . You know how [ad 
could never say no. Aud they'd say. even 


is lace, ‘I'm gonna use you, you ol 
bastard!” You know—supposedly jokin 


but they weren't joking 

ҮЧ seen it, particularly in the first 
On the Road appeared: the 
curious mixture of adulation and resent 
ment that a certain kind of celebrity 
ms to bring out in others: that combi 
tion of svcophancy and petulance that 
demands attention; all the energy and 
exacerbated ego of the idle and purpose 
less who sec a famous writer having a 
drink at the bar and figure that writer 
has nothing beter to do than g 
threeday bat, or dr 
whim. 1 
ihe 


days alte 


sei 


roa 


party, or on 
с 


often enough 


lost 


Jack 
arly stages of an 


innat 


on a 


evening because he'd been drawn away 
into all that swirl of nerves and wastage 
and anticipated kicks. He had never 
learned 1o conserve himself, not if the 
story was interesting enough, or the per 
son seemed to have unique in 
his spiel, or there was some promise ol 
gaudy forgetfulness for a few hours. And 
all the time he was burning up the 
Strengths that enabled him to keep 
upright in the yawning contradictions of 


ny thing 


his natur 
асау lriend expressed concern about 
her finances and she said: "Well 1 


alwa the 


can 


go into factories, if 1 
as long as Memére is taken 
"The friend thought she 
could probably lecture about Jack il she 
wanted to, but something hard came up 
imo her face: “ГИ never do that.” she 
id harshly, “WH never use him that 
жау. No, never.” her voice fiercely jeal- 
ous of her private memories, as il she 
could already teel Literary History mak- 
«its unseemly claims on them 

1 crouched at her lect and we talked 
some more for a while, not about Jack 
but about other things. nothings, getting 
Ише acquainted, studying cach other. 
that, yes liked cach 
lı was а moment of that brief, in 
aglement between strangers 


discovering, we 
other 
tense comm 
that death sometimes makes possible. 

It was getting late, nearly three o'clock, 
and there was all that road ahead, and 
we had to get Allen and the others to- 
gether to go back to Mike Sampas to 
pick up their things. We started circulat- 
ing through thc rooms. saying 
oodbyes. We had been warmed by 
them all, we had been wekomed with 
out reservation. I'd often felt d 
this older, simpler communion, this nat- 
ural flow of emotions outward from 
one's self, that Jack had looked. Гог so 


i was 


tirelessly in his conte 
course, like so much 
thing like it had 

young in Mnerica. 
him, too late. 
mimes. and the spiritual. perspectives, 
the religious cestasies, of which hie had 
uen. were the common coinage of 
these endeavors. Visionary drugs, music 
as group sacrament, the nonviolent wit 
nes to the holiness of all sentient lile 
knew 
ided 


nporaries. Now, of 
п his life, sor 
sed am 
but eme 


Ê 


They were forming, con 


all this had surlaced as he 
would lar trom being de 
the media or patronized by the acade: 
(as had happened in his case), it was 
being heralded as the unique culture 
of a New Age And Jack? Jack had 
dropped out of it, and been ignored by 
it, and grown querulous with drink and 
embinered by the unrelenting in- 
dillerence to the sope and intention. of 
his He's work, so that when he died 
he New York Times had had to call 
me up, asking if 1 could direct their obit 
man to а sober, critical awesment of 
that work, and I had had to say that Т 
didn't know of a single one and that 
aside [rom his friends) 1 had never met 
anyone who had even read the entire, 
vast суде of the books. He remained 
i essentially unkwown element in our 
nm 
I felt the parting with Stella keenly 
now, because, perhaps better than any 
one. she had known the loneliness and 
anger and physical horror of his last 
years, and T wanted her to know I knew. 
1 told her straightout, and embraced 
her, and we lelt. 
Outside. in the u 


ampled Title yard. 
Gregory horing around. and | 
knew he w ad didn't want 
it all to end, amd was being lured (by 


was 


пптей more, à 


the promie of boules and talk and 
highjinks) imo driving off with Jack's 
AN 
a 
wos 


PLAYBOY 


166 


friends from Albany 
my arm. Exhaustion 
face like a balloon with a slow leak. 
his shirt collar hung around his neck 
loosely, and once more he thanked us 
for comi is perceptive man who 
took on the dirty jobs stoically. 

“My God, Tony," I said, “where else 
ld we have been today?" 

k at Mike's, we collected every- 
thing. The Charierses were parked in the 
street, wa g to take Allen to Logan. 
We said goodbye to good. worried Mike 
and calm Betty with her arms full of lit- 
tle children, and waved at the Charterses, 
and had started down the driveway 
when I realized that T hadn't said. good- 
byc to Allen and cr 
with my hand raised, yelling, "Goodbye, 
man!” There he was with the pale 
gold light of midafternoon shining on 
that high, sallow dome of forehead. wav- 


‘ony Sampas took 
id drained bis 


ed out the window 


ing and calling out, “Goodbye. John. 
Stay sweet!” This was the way it usually 
happened with us. We stood by 


side, we chartered, disti 
nd then lost c: 
with too much left 
never time for our fellowship. 

Shirley and I drove home without a 
break through a crisp, gathering dusk of 


reds and golds, the sinking sun. draw 


we got 


There was 


unsaid. 


the sap up into the last of the d 
apple u 
smoke 


x of Late autumn elusive 
n the ай. We were quier and 
ind we found а letter Irom Don 
exstudent of mine, when we 


lly opened our door, a letter that 
t: “I came to see what 1 had 
ays, I think, sensed: that Kerouac 
was a true and magnificent ORIGIN AL 
whose vision of America was a truc and 
magnificent one, at least for me; that 
thing I keep going back to, whenever 
Nixon & company drive me to it, is 
something of the open-souled country 
that lives in Kerouac and © fight 
ing to get free throughout the Lind. For 
you who knew this long ago, and knew 
him, and knew all along the stupid 
X careless neglect or willed misrcad- 
ng he got from most everyone, ] am 
sure his death is that much harder to 
accept...” And, yes, that’s true, but 
accept it 1 do, because the only alterna- 
tive is a bitterness that demeans the spirit 


man must serve, or a grief that belitiles 
the love he feels, And accept it I can. 
because I finally һай my own private 


wake once we got back, and decided 10 
account when I felt I could. 
Sometimes they nauseate a 
with their casy cvasions, their 
. their ultimate futility 
g bur the ba 


slick senti 
to catch 


пу 
of events, the fleetin 
tions. But Jack, like all serious writers, 
knew that writing was a vow in the con- 
tinuity of life, a vow that often had to 
be fashioned out of all the little deaths 
that precede the big one. 

And now he's gone in Octob 


г, but 


its no less tr 


“OJ course, France and Haly have the great museums, 


but G 


ermany offers a better chance to get laid.” 


TOWN OF MILLIONAIRES 
(conlinued from page 120) 
"What's AKI?” someone asks. 
"Alaskan Interstate,” s Eddy. “It’s 
really gonna take off if they run that oil 
line through Alask 
15 it for sure?” 
“I think so. Some ecologists arc uyin” 
to get them to run it through Canada. 
‘They say it'll destroy Alaska’s balance of 
nature, but I can't see "em going twice 
as far, just to save a few fuckin’ reindeer. 
Hell, for that pric 1 build ‘em 
all pens. 
"Punch Winnebago for m 
asks Stromer, on the phone again. Eddy 
turns to the calculator, hits the keys, 
rolls his dice and snaps his fingers. 
nebago! Ni 
f celebration sweeps the room. 
Winnebago has hit 90 for the first time 
in its history. “Go, Winnie! 
y" says Stromer. "Yi 


Doug," 


a, right. 


first time. 

“Winnebago, nincty-onc!"" shout. me: 
ching the Tele-Scanner 

“Ninety-one!” reports Stromer into 
the telephone. "It's goin’ great. Can you 
believe it?” 

The phones ring const 
town wanting Winnebago’s run con- 
firmed, and the brokerage fills with 
people rushing in to take some of the 


atly now, the 


mood. The stock holds at 91. f dew 
minutes. then settles back to 90. Every- 
one smiles at everyone else and the 


crowd wanders ош. After а few more 
minutes, w6o floats by on the Scanne 
with the numb 14 wailing. “Come 
ic. get back up to ninety.” 

says Doug Eddy 


“We don't 


and three quarters is just 
sounds high. Eighty- 
price. At cighty-nine. 
buy more.” 


Jewish 


Business wh 


Winne- 


» come to 
е ollices stay in 
Clear Lake, a resort town of nca 
6500, so they can enjoy its rest 
and motoránn bars. (A Winnebago ex 
ecutive explains, “They'll serve you a 
drink with lunch out at the. Forest City 
Country Club now. But that's the only 
place. And you know, these fellows who 
fly in here from Chrysler, they can't 
have апе without a few drinks") 
Liquor has a place in Forest. City at 
night, but many natives, preferring 
places free of festive salesmen, drive 
country roads 10 steakhouses that dot re- 
mote inlets of the lake. The Harbou 
Inn is one that Norm Stromer frequents 
Siromer drives out of Forest City, past 
Winnebago's main plant, where white 
motor homes in tight rows run back 
from the road until they become only 
block shapes. Cars usually slow as they 
the drivas and gers 
nting into the distance to measure 


hago's corpor 


пе 


by 
ту 
ants 


pass passe 


the long Hines in the manner that they 
"row" beginning beanfields. Stromer 
tums onto а back road to escape the 

his right is 
ar: its landing 
thened so that 
alcon, arrivit 


strip w 
Winnebago's Fa 


longer st 
“They wanted à 


ed things for a wh 


p dela 


e acres of m ex- 
Peter Gree of the kindown- 
but the way the strip's gonna run, 
ivl ам me olf from getting to twenty- 
five more acres on the other side of it 
How am I gon 
cres when 1 got 
forth between me and my 
nally paid me for all thirty-four acres. Ic 
nt. Check came just 
Jet Falcon will be 
flown by a man named Johnny Spot. 
who was once Frank Sinatra's pilot 
Farther down the road on Stromer's 
left is his newly purchased acreage on 
which he plans to build a like deep 
enough for stocking trout. M 
City citizens are redoing their 
More than a 


‚өп 


beautiful These people's 
root instincts run. deep and hold them 
here, although there are more scenic 
rts of the country—communities near 
Colorado mountains or Northwest pine 
forests—that could meet their needs for 
size and calm just as well. So they remain 


in north lowa, which is not as pretty as 
other parts of the country: but with 
enough money, they think their part of 


it can be, Plans call for the Winnebago 
River. which runs through town, to be 
deepened, its banks widened, parks 
created at its edge. 

A number of hog 


ms can be seen 
ty is surrounded 
by miles of splendid green, undulating 
land that's perfect for hog raising—put 
hill and it'll stay there: га 


from the road, Forest С 


ke its waste to the valley. 
God's natura] sewage system. 
Stromer sal 


ad. before he 
quit to learn. commodities. "It. used. to 
е crazy to be out there on that 
tractor with no one to talk to. I just like 
to talk with people.” Stromer looks like 
a man in his 20s but is old enough to 
have teenaged children. He talks 

moves in bursts that seem planned 
ad rushed to completion. "So 1 quit 
tually went to work for Wit- 


ng the arca, selling 
Sort of a door-to-door 
stockbroker. | liked the business, but 


the waveling part was starting to get to 
me. D was covering thi d every 
time I'd stop in Forest City for a cup of 
coffee or something, the conversation 
would get around to what line of work 
I was in. When I told people I was а 
stockbroker, they'd jump up and run 


“Is the flavor 


to ask me questions. Winnebago 
s just starting to be bought then 
уройу wanted to know about 
town's always been full 
из in their blood. 
‘So 1 told the people at Wittenstein's. 
"Hey, why don't we start a branch office 
in Forest City? After a lot of haggling 
back and forth, they did. 

"The people here have made me feel 
a part of the community. We have 
d time on Thursday night out at 
country dub. That's stag night and 
everybody gets pretty soused. Everybody 
but me. tha resm't get dri 
s tells me. 
you cannot do is ger drunk. That's 
no-no. You absolutely can't go out th 
and get drunk. Now, the rest of "em. it 
jv town. зо they сап do anything 
they want! And it’s true, I know it.” 
At the Harbour Inn, Stromer si 
table and looks out over the wate 
chatting with friends and clients. He's 
friendly man who enjoys being kidded 
pout undeserved fortune and defend- 
inst charges of bad advice 
Between conversa- 
a steak that hid 


a man asks you about a specific stoc 
you know he wants to buy. So you spend 
ky 
. but you keep indicating that it 
might go, 


‘cause you don't want to lose 
the sale. Then, when it goes down, 
down, and he blames you for it, you can 
say, ‘Remember what 1 told you? And 
he'll say. ‘By God, you did’ So you never 
have to worry about a down market. All 


r of the month." 


that stock I sold in a down market. I'd 
sty, ‘For gosh sakes, if you wanna buy 
Winnebago. you are assuming а ri 
That was back in ‚ 1970. 
dropping to ten. Boy. the U 
dead then. They were calling me 
Doom Gloom Stromer. 1 was mopin* 
around, guys were asleep on the couches 
Jt was just dead in there. 

“OF course, I did 
Quote and the Tel 
They told me ar Wittenstein’s wl 


w 


put it in, “Th will be impor- 
tam. That get Сет goin. Their 
adsl get swingin’ back and forth 


4 keep it а litle dank in ther 
That'll help. And you should smoke a 
and stay away from ‘em, so you 
doni even see ‘em. АП of a 
they'll get dizzy, come up to you and 
buy XYZ and walk out the door. Then 
they'll kind of come to and say, “Why'd 
1 do that for? 

“The guy at Wittenstein's said, "You 
gotta learn to keep your mouth shut 
They'll take care of themselves... — H 
oh, golly. 
does make a difference. I's real surp 
ing The days 1 make the most sales 
are days Fm so busy that 1 don't come 
out of my office and they sell cach 
other. They get talkin’ it up amd sell 
each other.” 


sudde: 


But the Tele Scanner, it 


Winnebago stock has become a kind 
of charitable currency in town. Those 
who have it share it with those who 
don't and another. Forest City imperfec- 
tion is eliminated. John К. Hanson does 
it frequently and with impact, because 
he has the most—about half a billion 


167 


PLAYBOY 


168 


dollars worth—and because he knows 
two of our society's most. pioneer. mot 
vations: love for roots amd desire to 


build а business. 

“The company has gotten to the point 
e is hiring people trom all over 
explains Ben Carter, the 


wl 
the country, 


newspaper editor, "People with differ- 
ent backgrounds from those of us 
who've lived here all our lives and 


who've been the only employees Wi 
bago has had until recent. years. That's 
anging now. John knows this and he 
nts the town to be able to accommo- 
date them. Now, most of us in town i 
Lutherans or Methodists. lt just hap 
pens that the poorest church here is du 
Catholic church. But with the growth of 
Winnebago, new families coming in, 
some of them are bound to be Catholics, 
so Hanson wants a proper church [o 
them, He went to the Catholics. and 
gave them 1000 shares of stock for a 
new church. Then he went to the Bap- 
tists and did the same thing for them. So 
now we've got two brand-new ch 
across the street from each oth 
west side of town. 

"Forest City is changing in another 
way, too,” adds Carter, “It used to be 
you could walk down the street and 
you'd know everybody you met, but you 
сиз do that anymore... . That's good 
nd it’s bad. You used to know people 
by their faces. Now you know them by 
their stocks.” 

Hanson is financing much of the new 
hospital and also the proposed new 
counny dub, a project that touches а 
fundamentalist nerve in a few and also 
threatens the existing: hierarchy that 
rules the present nine-hole course on the 
a side of town. But most people want 
it cagerly, some so much that attitude: 
turn selfish, А man au- 
rant said, “Winnel id twelve 
hundred. dollars. ап farm. 
They're gonna u 
of it, twelve hundred doll: an acre for 
pasture. Hell, if they got thar kind of 
money, why can't they just. pay for the 
whole country dub?” 

Forest City's money, tentative and 
new, has affected. people in ways that 
match, predictably, their age. In the сазе 
of the older millionaires, Ben Carter, car 

alesman Chub Buren, druggist Lehman 
Pinckney, their manners and style have 
moved like a minute hand, so slowly 
that they're impossible 10 sec, so impos 
sible that maybe they haven't moved at 
all. Some of the younger ones, especially 
Doug Eddy, show the town that they are 
rich. "Doug bought his wife a Cadillac 
do," says Ben Carter. "He's really 
the exception. He built an indoor swim- 
ming pool that's bigger than my house. 
He likes to talk about it." 


ches 
on the 


The pool is lovely, nine aud one-half 
feet deep, encased i noth red- 
ndoor outdoor 


wood room, 


blue-gre 
exuberance 


mix soaking up puddles of 
The water is kept at 88 
degrees. It is empty this afterno 
covering Irom a high school commence 


g idly with a friend and fellow 
e, dentist Jack Soderling. The 
decide to drive through town 
nid inspect the parts of Forest City they 
re building. 

Soderling's face is tanned from. mid- 
day golf and his hair is dipped short on 
the sides, with a small concession to a 


two men 


longer style on top. Thick arms and 
wrists show below his shortsleeved shirt. 


He and Eddy have been friends since 


high school, and they're victim to an 


Mutt and Jef comparison, for 
ng is short and stocky. Eddy 
moves with a fuid, confident walk, so 


that Soderling seems always hurrying to 
catch up 
71 remember my very first stock pur 


says Eddy, backing out of his 
у. "lt was a company chat helped 


build the Mercury rocket. I bought t 
es of it with all the money the Navy 
paid me when I got out, I figured it'd 
be great. Well, the rocket went up about 
four feet and blew, aud so did the stock. 
That was my initiation to the stock 
market. That was a long time ago. Shit 
now I don't own any stock that I don 
have at least a thousand shares of. ls 
funny. if 1 don't have at least a thou 
sand. the stock just doesn't hold my 
interest." He turns the car onto the 
street. He's just bought property next 
door on which he's having foundatic 
poured for a “three-hole garage.” 
ire busy with trowels and shovels. 
s washed yesterday's work away. 
slows the car and rolls down the window 
a. "Hey. Joe 


od. God. 


you 


"Looks FIL bec guys 
didn't know whether to shit and go 


saw 


that rain comin’ last n 
Both men laugh. 
A decaying old home on a corner next 
to Eddy's house looks small and ashamed 
nt sunoundings. Eddy 
owns three lots of the four that make up 
a la e. "There's an old widow 
lady owns that house," he says, chew 
zum. "She's in a nursing home now 
Well buy it eventually and landscape it 
IL Then Fl] put up a flagpole right 
there on the comer and run my own 
lag wp. Some people might not be 
proud of it anymore, but by God, I am." 
They drive to the north edge of town. 
where Winnebago's new corporate of 
fices are nearly finished. B med 
men in Tshirts and hardhats move 
quickly outside the new building, taking 
rolled squares of lawn from pickup 
trucks and бибар thi the 


own 


earth, 


m to 


Their hase has been ordered. Tomor- 
row is Winnebago's annual stockholders’ 
necting and, although the great major- 
ity holding shares live in the area 
there'll be New York analysts and other 
visiting investors to notice the land. 
sciping. 

"phat grass is just pantin’ to be laid,” 
sys Eddy, observing the activity. 

They'll have it looking sweet by tomor- 
row morning, 

"You know what we should do, Jack. 
for the good of the town? We should 
cach of us put up about three thirty- 
thousand-dollar homes for the middle 
xecutîves at Winnebago. Shit, they just 
los two guys out there "cause they 
couldn't find places to live." 
says Soderling 
through the passengerside window at 
the workmen. 

Eddy steers the car onto a gravel road 
where a low steel building frame rises 
with the late-May corn. Soderling is con. 
structing a bowling alley and lounge 
that will be managed by the couple that 
rents from him. They know and like this 
work. When the stock Soderling 
chased in their name is rich enough. 
will pay him back and become the 
bowling alley's owners. 

Eddy voices his preference. for the 
modestly pitched roof that Soderling has 
selected over a more severely sloping 
ıe and gives assurance that all the glass 
lor the building, ordered from his store, 
will 


“Um-hum,” pecri 


as pur 


rrive in time, 


noisy 


Forest City is Every morning 
the town fills with the sounds of strong 
motors. Giant yellow road graders, 
clumsy on the narrow streets, look for 
gravel surfaces. Orange trucks with 
WINNEBAGO INDUSTRIES MAINTENANCE DI 
plant 
10 plant. Motor homes to be delivered 
leave town in steady procession. All this 
oversized. traffic moves. back апа forth 
over tre 
et high ov 
TS' roars. 

Today. May 25, is the com пуз 
most important, the date of Winnebago's 
annual shareholders meeting. But For- 
est City is not as noisy as usual, for 
the preparations have been completed 
The grounds around Winnebago's cor 
porate offices d and conyine- 
ingly g and small hills of dirt that 
couldn't be sodded have heen raked to à 
fresh blackness. 

Seemingly in honor of the day, Win- 
hebayo stock is making Forest City 
wealthier. It has been selling at some- 
thing more than 90 for the past few days 
and now rises and drops at 
around 92, So Wittenstein’s broker 
crowded. Eddy, his friend Jack $ 
heavy man w 
have the choice chairs at the Tele Quote 
table, Eddy working the machine. He 
hits the keys and leans over the machine 


ммох on their doors hurry fro: 


ined streets with branches that 
the 


head and hold 


re coi 


level 


age is 
ader- 
ag a hard-har 


like a mystic above a crystal ball. 

ч John K." says someone 
at the open back door. There's a rush to 
the door to see John K. Hanson walking 
on Fourth Street. He has stopped at Ey 
mum Implement Company to talk with 
Chub Buren, interrupting the conver: 
tion to wave at and greer passers-by, his 
hand finding empty, swinging arms and 
turning them imo extended ones. Н. 
son iy small. stooped and bald, looking, 
older than 59 but showing a vigorous 
ery as he fails and shouts and walks. 
sending out eager. thrusting rhythms 
that cuch the people on Fourth Street 

Hanson moves along. stopping shop- 
pers. little boys. grandmothers in p 
dispensing pills of furious conversation 
in 30-second doses, People answer with 
hig, anoimed smiles, them repeat his 
waves At the corner of Fourth and J, 
Hanson turns left and ош of sight 
Those who have watched the scene re- 
turn to their places in Wittenstein's, the 
short recess ove ol for 
а few minutes, the 
its hold on the room and people begin 
numbers, or to 


Tey, there's 


e 


speak 
themselves 
How's the Dow 

"Look at that Xerox. I's selling w 
too high. Wish I had some.” 

^I told John he oughta split the stock 
so | could find out how many shares 
oL” 

Remember that Not 
fooling around with 
Tve been thinking about American 
Motors. 

“They're pleadii 
phrase for ^no comes 

Nothing but g 
ican Motors." 

At the back of the room, a man in a 
dullgreen shiri silently watches the 
‘Tele Scanner over the top of his glasses. 
He has gray, receding hair and eyebrows 
that are inverted Vs with four or five 
hairs sprout 
pex. F 
holds his hands together. fingers inter 
twined, As he watches. his fing 
squeeze tight, then relax, then repeat 
the pressure. Squeeze. relax, squeeze, 
relax. He listens to all the co 
tions at once, or tries to. Whe 
ob Winnebago surlaces somewhere in 


ig to эсш 


1 Tech you w 


what's the Latin 


Amer 


ad things froi 


Jeans forward in hi 


versa- 
word 


the inform 
h is 


ag hour. Gi 
when he suddenly 
d meets Stromer, 


ne. 


rises from his cl 
the broker. in the y 
“Well, P guess DID take a hundred 
i 
"OK. fine, whatever you say 
“Yeah. a hundred shares. Don't. you 
think I should?” 
“Well, now, you're in here ev 
Golly. T 1 
lor sure frankly 


sh 


day. 


do 
a risk 


to buy it, But you know, it just goes — from his father. Clauson has lived : 
life in Forest City, never more than half 
ent home on 
mall. one of his 
hbors was the Hanson family. Clau- 


up and up. 
“I know.” says the man. 


But FH just а block from his pre 
leave it up to you, I want to buy a Street. When he was 
hundred. You tell me when to sell 

"OK, fine. ГИ put your order in 


son r 


The man walks outside аз Strom cows toward a pasture cast of town. 
Боке, both men hav- 
ldresses сам down В. 
nd Hanson now lives directly 
Hanson's 
$300,000 home on the edge of town 
acros the highway from Winnebago's 
main plant will be finished and they 
ibors no more. 
lor his Winnebago 
ne high. He 
s owned stock for some time 


turns ıo his office Fher ato sii Ө 

“Did ol whavshisname finally buy ing moved their 
some?" Stromer is asker ; 

"Yeah. Did ya hear dim?" says 
Stromer. "He dumps it in my lap. Geer, 
he's sat in here every day for three years, 
asking people il he should buy 

“Hell, I told him lot t 
buy some.” 


street. Soon, however, 


will be neig 
Clauson paid 


know. Poor guy's been watching — 
at stock for so long, Т remember when shares. ап айч 


ag and he said. ‘TH buy at! 
] Stromer 


t 
it was dropp 
forty. When it got to Топу. he s 
“Twenty. He had a chance то buy itat Clawson has placed wi 
sixteen, and he said he'd do it at ten.” "We have soi 
Stromer pauses, "Oh. well, TN make Chuson says, “We 
him five | 
he Lappy." things cl 
Alter leaving the broke: 
walks up Clark and enters Don's Food 0 
Мат. just 
is Don Clauson and he has 
grocery si g 
many in town have their businesses. won 


red up 


owned this solid. 


“Youre waiting for an explanation, arent you 
How about wailing in the outer office?” 


"embers Hanson. 


dred dollars and hell the others. We waited 


herding 


h Wittenstei 
e Winneb: у 
e not like some of 
until we 
and paid for. ICs а 
ge the man good thing we've got somet 
п just the stock to base the town on. 
few doors north. His name Tve always said. Something a bit more 
ome of them, they got so much 
1938, inheriting it. like so stock it's almost a bigger 

g about it: “course. 1 


cross the 


although 
s todays order is the first 


ng more 


169 


PLAYBOY 


they got so much now they don't need to 
worry about it 

“Yes, we have other stocks, too. А few 
I was talking to the trust обсег 
bank and he says they're gon 
nounce at the annual meeting tonight 
that earnings are double again this year 
Thats what John keeps say 
know. ‘Double, double, double. 


Clauson will not be at the annual 
meeting this evening. He n 


amer to buy meat for 
ad. But this year, were he able to 
end, he could. 


At 7:30, the hour the 


nnual meetin, 


lines waiting outside the Forest City 
Municipal Auditorium. It is more accu- 
rately a feld house, Inside is а basket- 
ball red with fol 
chairs, brown bleachers and, 
them, a stage trimmed in dark-purple 
curtains. The place is beginning to fill 
now and, with people, becomes uncom 
fortably warm, Some men lower the knots 
of fat white tics and remove resort 
knit jackets. The less stylishly dressed 
need only fan the air for comfort 

Watching the crowd. fron ble on 
чаш 


court—now cd 


cross T. 


is Hanson. Everyone in town s 
that he is first of all a salesman, and hi 
success is duc to the fact that he brought 
а hustler’s gift to the reereational-vehicle 
industry. Many also considered him a 
wild schemer in the old days, when he 
soll couches and primped souls for 
heaven. He would post signs in his store 
window announcing: Ins SALE: MUST 
RAISE MONEY TO PAY мү TAXES. What did 
that mean? Was it simply a sales gi 
mick, or had John fallen to another 
wild notion? His ideas always wok him 
to the moneylenders, you could. predict 
This was how much of the town re 
girded him. пей selling 
house trailers. 

He always set goals for the company 
but with pro casy, they've be 
come harder to IL seems that 
everyone in Low! d different sets 
of John К. goals, but one that appears 
his dream of mal 
maires of his children. That he | 
uth to an entire town is a by- 
product of that dream. 

Hanson traveled a lot im the carly 
years, but for different, harder r 
than he does now. He traveled. then to 
sell his product and quickly grew ань 
fond of the road. Now his journeys take 
him to Chicago and New York on ab- 
stract corporate business, still necessary 
but hardly so basic to the matter of mak- 
ing it or failing; yet his disposition for 
being anywhere but home m't 
changed. “I'd rather eat a bowl of shred 
ded wh cheese sandwich. at 
home than the best meal out,” he says 


ons 


and a 


E good news for the people to- 
night. Sales up. Profits up. Stock at its 


170 highest But there are two points that 


fin with concern, The company is in 
volved in a lawsuit. Somebody named 
Baker who used to be in the motor 
home business is cla ar Winne- 
go stole some of his trade secrets in 
order to develop its product. Hanson 
has sat in court for weeks listening 10 
Baker's lawyers present charges, but 
there seems little doubt. in most people's 
inds that Baker has no case. 
A lot of citizens also fear 
news that General Motor 
¢ motorhome field. But Hanson feels 
there is room for them, that the market 
can accommodate iwo giants. Competi- 
tion. That's part of the game, after all, 


the rec 
is entering 


and he's said again and again, “This is 
all a game. Life's a game. Business is а 


a the best 


пе. You 
the g 

Hanson walks ıo the podium. 
known for long, rolling addresses that 
heat to evangelical intensity. Some b 
lieve the stock price reacts ло the in 
spiration of his words. 

“Thank you all for coming tonight 
he begins. “Without you. this compa 
would never have got going.” Hanson's 
voice is a deep rumble of words ih 
bump into cach other. He sounds like 
Lawrence O'Brien after martinis. "So we 
always fecl a special gratitude at this 
me every year. It's great to sce so many 
Winnebago people im the audience to 
Lets get a showing. Will all the 
nebago employees stand up. please; 

More than half the audi 
its feet, proud to be counted 

That's just great, Let's everyone give 
the Winnebago employees a hand. 


team. you w 


He is 


iy 


nee jumps to 


Applause acknowledges the standing 
crowd. 

"We have a lov of busines to g 
over tonight, so 1 won't take much more 


me. I just want to say that people are 
always asking me the secret to our suc- 
cess. "How come you made it work? they 
And I tell them. "Well, we hired a 
lot of dumb farmers who didn't know 
the job was impossible, so they went 
ahead and did it." 

After listening 10 proxy tallies and 
arnings reports, Hanson says, "Now ГЇ 
n the meeting over to your president, 
John V. Hanson. You can tell he's my 
Sou because of his bald head." 

The younger Hanson walks to the р 
dium, He is much Такер than his father, 
more than six feet n 
head is the only ph 
Black wings of hair flow back from his 
temples. He has recently shaved a haud 
some beard for lawsuit testimony in d 
trict court. 

"Are there any questions from the 
floor?” he asks. “If you have anything 
on your mind, we'd like to hear it 

The large number of people inti 
dates free dialog for some minutes a 
Hanson repeats his invitation. Fi 
someone asks, “What's the fe 
the Lawsuit? 


The companys legal counsel re- 
sponds. “We were seven or 
hi weeks ago, wh e to trial, 
had no 


л 
"Yea 

Now the mood has relaxed. 

“What's going to happen with Gen- 


eral Motors coming into the motor-home 
busines 

John V. takes that question, "We've 
felt, from the first, that this would 
good for Winnebago, We think 
act to force a lot of the small companies 
out of business and the name G.M. 
will add prestige to the entire field. 
Then he gets to the essence of the ques 
ou. “Besides, I was looking at some 
photos of C.M.'s prototype just today. 1 
think they made about all the mistakes 
Га hoped they'd make. 

“Hurrah!” 

The lights are dimmed now to show a 
long promotional movie and the older 
Hanson slips down to a side chair on 
the floor to watch it Per 
leave their seats and 
bending to his ear, wl 
pauing his amm. After the the 
meeting adjourns lor refreshments, then 
spills outdoors. 

On the grass, men drink coffee from 
paper cups and cat cake. One of them 


novie, 


wears it shirt with the name ту 
stitched above the breast pocket. 
“Sounded pretty good in there, dou't 
you thin 


"Yeah. Сее, I can't sce selling any 
Just last week | bought a boat, and I 
went to the bank to get a loan to buy it 
instead of selling some stock. I just can't 
Jet go of it. 

"I don't know what to do," says Ty. “I 
started buying it in Ninetcensixty. . 
1. know- 


The other man shakes his he: 
ing that if Ty bought stock that long 
ago, he's im an enviable position. 


“You're all right,” he smiles. 

“But. Ty pleads. as if needing 
to confess his wealth, “I've never sold 
any of iL" 

Stockbroker Stromer emerges from the 
building with a man dressed in overalls 
looking carnestly into his face. "Norm, 
should 1 buy some: 

"No," says Suomer. "Gee, Yd wait, if 
I were you. .. . Wait until it drops 


sten," 


tle Is selling right now at eighty 
carnings. It’s still quite a risk.” 


On May 26, the morning айе 
nual meeting, Winnebago opens 
starts a тип and, warming to Forest 
City’s full, faithful. optimism, continues 
10 climb. 

The TeleScanner clicks importantly 
in Wittenstein’s back room, seems to 
pause and catch its breath from time to 
then gives a halfstep click and 
bly into i 
, the local Ford dealer, 


c A Ж. 


“Premature es indeed! Young lady, my time happens to 


he worth thirty-eight dollars a minute!” 


PLAYBOY 


172 


a regu ier figure at the broker- 
age, enters the back room. With him is 
his cight-ycar-old son, a thin boy in gray 
‘T-shirt, cutoff jeans and sandals. He 
looks around the room, shows a small 
fear of its dusty dilapidation, then sees 
the Tele-Scanner’s flashing figures. 

1's his first time,” says the father, as 
his boy moves curiously to the Tele- 
Quote calculator. "Go ahead, Steve, 
punch Winnebago. There are the key 
Just punch them. 

The boy hits W, G, О. Then they ap- 
pear, all the figures, throbbing with 
good news: wGo 9514. 

"Hey, it’s up some more. 

“OK, les go, Steve,” says the father. 
He turns to leave and takes a few steps, 
then stops to wait. His son doesn’t w; 
to leave. He's walking slowly, stari 
the Scanner. 

"Come on,” says the Ford dealer, and 
he reaches for his son’s hand. They wa 
toward the door, the boy looking back, 
his eyes moving with the screen. 


About а week after the sharcholders" 
meeting, Winnebago stock split two for 
one, so a single share worth 590 became 
two shares worth 545 each. The stock ap- 
red still full of energy after the split, 
ng a few points, then moving fitfully 
bové and below 45. By the end of 
June, however, it began a slow, steady 
drop, indifferent to Forest City’s encour- 
falling past 40, 35, 30, and fi- 
ettling on а bottom of 22 before 
showing any recollection of how it felt 
to rise. Winnebago common stock was 
now worth half its peak price 

Many factors were beld respousible 
for the performance. Some blamed the 
market in general for a string of listless 
months. Others pointed to a Wall Street 
Jounal article that had decided 
recreational-vehicle stocks were selling 
too high and predicted the very plunge 
that dut 


bago that still, 
to go away. 

Aurumn is done well in north Iowa, 
in the last days of October, color 

in a robust mix on the trees, al- 
though so many leaves have fallen that 
they make a dense, flaky crust for the 
ground. Forest City’s building has pro- 
gresed at a steady rate. Jack Soderling's 
howling alley has 12 lanes busy with 
local leagues and needs only the comple- 
tion of is snack coumer to be fully 
operational. Ben Carers Summit office 
will soon have a modem glass front. 
Doug Eddy's garage addition is finished, 
so the home is now L-shaped and bends 
ominously around neighbors old 
house. And the exterior of John K. Ha 
son's new home, its brick the colo 
turned-brown oak leaves, appears nearly 
finished. Forest City does not look like 
a town that is half as rich as it was, 

The mood inside Wiuenstein's is, for 


the most part, remarkably unchanged. 
The same faces watch their fortunes 
drift past on the TeleScanner and get 
just as excited when Winnebago jumps 
from 23 to 24 as they did, five months 
ago, when it left 91 for 92. There is a 
thin tension shown only when they talk 
about the lawsuit. Then the regulars in 
the room slap each other's back and ex- 
change grim keep-thefaith looks like 
high school athletes with spasmic stom- 
achs before a game. There are slight 
variances of opinion regarding the effect 
of an unfavorable verdict, but all speak 
from ignorance. They have not watched 
any of the trial, held an hour and a half 
away in Fort Dodge, because the com 
pany has asked them to s ay. They 
know only that this fellow Baker has 


sued Hanson and Winnebago for 
5100.000,000, claimiı that they stole 
his wade secret for building motor 


homes. They know that the trial has 
lased nearly six months and that the 
jury is made up of ten women and two 
men. And they're absolutely certain that 
Baker has no case. 

"It doesn't make any difference as far 
as the company's concemed,” says one of 
the men in the back room of the bro- 
kerage. “If they do decide to give Baker 
anything, itll be so little, Jolin K. will 
just write the guy a check and tell him 
to get the hell out of town.” 

“That'll never happen, anyway. Of 
course, you can never tell for sure what 
ten women ave gonna do." 

Broker Norm Stromer acknowledges 
the ponderous potential danger of ten 
feminine minds working closed 
room. “I haven't followed the trial too 
much. But from my dealings with 
women, I'd have to say that they can be 
easily influenced. I had one in here the 


па 


other day. She'd never been in a broker- 
age before, and I think I could have con- 
vinced her that the moon was square." 


"he trial makes no difference, 
Chub Buren, the millionaire Pontiac 
salesman, “The fact is that the company 
is in fantastic shape. They're adding an- 
other shift out at the plant. They're sel- 
ing more motor homes than they ever 
have. They're building a huge new 
plant in Reno, Nevada. So all the indi 
cators are good. We know this and that's 
why we're not worried about the tact 
that the stock is down. Hell, the whole 
market's down. Look at Champion, Red- 
man, all the motorhome builda 
We're in comparatively great shape. 
(Buren was right: The jury eventually 
decided that Winnebago had violated 
contractual agreements with Baker and 
awarded him $4,000,000. But it reached 
no decision on the charge that Winne- 
o had stolen his trade secret and the 
stock did not react to the verdict.) 
n is quickly turned to the 
wco moves by at 91. 


ays 


ub 


Then the room ignites when the board 
shows that 25,000 shares of Winnebago 
stock have just been sold at that price- 

“Twenty-five thousand shares! God, 
that’s a ton of shares.” 

“Twenty-five thousand at twenty-four 
dollars that’s а six-hundred-thou 
sand-dollar sale we just watched go by: 
Сой. A man can't do that 


ce a week.” 
ng fervently di 


The sale is still b 
cussed minutes later when the screen 
door opens and John K. Hanson, w 
ing a brown trench coat and a pl 
wool hat, enters. He walks to the back 
room and is met with enthusiasm. Then 
a silence spreads out and waits for him 
to sp 

“How's it looking, boys?" he asks. 

“Oh, about the same, John. 0 
twenty-four.” 

A long moment passes as everyone 
scrutinously studies the Tele-Scanner, 
and then someone s 
“Say, John. We just saw а tw 


ound 


“Does that mean, John, that the mu- 
tual funds are going to start dropping 


Winnebago?” 

“No,” says Hanson. “That means a 
buyer and а seller got together and 
agreed on a price. And that’s all it 
mean! Hew 
moments more. then turns to leave. 
had to be a bank, or some big opera 
that sold those twenty-five thousand 
shares. But it doesn’t mean anything, ex 
cept that the little man docsnt have 
much to say about the market an! 
Hanson leaves these last few wo 
the room as he hurries out the door. 

‘John didn't seem as nervous to me 
he did last week,” says a voice 
from the couch. 

“John wasn't nervous at all,” says a 


«ches the screen for a few 
"E 


fellow behind the Tele-Quote table. 


back 


Broker Stromer hurries into the 
room from his private office with a 
nouncement. “OK, I've got a deal for 
you guys that’s going to cost you only 
five hundred dollars" He explains to 
the duster of men that he is selling a 
90-day straddle option on Winnebago 


stock. This ate package is based on 
the buyers presu 
bago will fall and 
the next three months. Everyone in the 


room listens carefully and they all im- 
mediately understand the offer; bur 


after some minutes of discussion and 

good-natured remarks concerning Strom- 

crs blemished honesty, all decline the 
invitation. 

kind of deal would be a real 

investment" Stromer explains 

“for someone who was worried 


bout his Winnebago stock." 


spartans of indochina 


and that the estimated ual loss of 
50,000 men killed or seriously wounded 
was more than made up by the 100,000 
or so who turned 18 

Not much to go on, is 


ach v 
? But then I 


came 
most, if not all, of my questions. It was 
the most recent in a series of studies pre- 
pared since 1963 by the Rand Corpora- 
tion for the Department of Defense's 
Division of Intemational Security Af- 
fairs and the Advanced Research Proj- 
саз Agency. Published in 1970, it is 
tided “Convers with NVA and 
V.C. Soldiers: A Study of Enemy Moti- 
ion and Morale 
This study demolishes the argument 
of the hardline hawks that, misled by 
chickenhearted journalists and politi- 
ns, we blew a clean-cut victory in 
Vietnam by not hitting hard enough, by 
lacking the courage 10 turn the ratchet 
a couple of more times. The study, based 
on in-depth interviews with prisoners of 
war, flatly contradicts this thesis, It 
paints a picture. of troops who are al- 
most too good to be true—men who be- 
lieve in what they ming for, who 
are not afraid to die. who have absolute 
certainty of ultimate victory and who, 
far from being robots driven forward by 
fi 
deal more to say abour their unit's oper- 
ns than does the American GI 
The enemy's picture of the world, 
his country, his mission and our [the 
U.S] role in his country is remarkable 
by its simplicity, clarity and internal con- 
sistency,” the Rand report says. “And 
the tenor of his responses is remarkable 
for the control of his passion and by his 
maueroffacness and clarity. Finally. 
the responses are impressive by their 
straightforwardness. Unlike interviews 
with prisoners or defectors of World 
War Two, the Korean War, or refugees 
from behind the Iron Curtain, these 
interviews reveal few attempts of the 
Vietnamese prisoners to ingratiate them. 
selves with the interviewer, . . . Analysis 
... indicates that neither our military 
actions nor our political or psywar ef- 
forts seem lo have made an appreciable 
dent in the enemy's overall motivation 
moral [This passage is 
icized in the original report.] 
“The men emerge as the opposite of 
i rian types who ‘parrot 
line but either do not 
accept or cannot remember or yield 
under pressure the other half. . . . The 
men do not simply ‘mouth’ what thi 
ve been told but seem to have fully 
absorbed and assimilated it, rende 
in their own terms, illustrating it with 
their own examples 
Thus, what may have begun as indoctri- 
mation has become sincere conviction, 
opinion and emotion, and may, there- 
fore, be regarded as virtually impossible 


across 


publ 


ons 


officers, appear to have a good 


and structure. 


one hall of a 


(continued from page 116) 
to dislodge. . . . They can perhaps be 
killed, but they probably cannot be dis 
suaded either by words or by hardship.” 
Men who have lived through North 
Vietnamese assaults say thar there i 
something unearthly about the resolute 
ness with which they obey their officers 
even when going to what must seem like 
certain death, During the offensive that 
im in April, the fact that infantry 
troops coukl keep their cohesion and 
continue to attack despite the heaviest 
aerial bombardments the world has ever 
known constitutes a n tary 
So the conclusion the Rand 
viewers came to on the subject of d 
is perhaps not so extraordinary. after 
"We [the U.S] feel that the soldier 
should perform even if he is plagued by 


fear of denh.” the report says. “The 
enemy seems to fecl that fear of death it 
self can and must be overcome. In fact, 


we 


n captured documents. we sometimes 
found enemy soldiers admitting. under 


the rubric of self-criticism, that 1 still 
experienced а fear of death.” 
A North Vietnamese cadre told the 


interviewers, ^I was almost killed right 
my first battle. OF course, 
prefers to stay alive. However, when 1 
I knew that I would either 
be killed or captured. 1 accepted. my 
fate... . The point is. sometimes one 
should accept death so that the you 
generation will grow. One feels better 
when he knows about this fact of life.” 


everybody 


went south, 


But it is not the quick 
death, the Hollywood-fantasy death on 
the s of the Foreign Legion 
outpost, inside the cirde of covered 


ons, at the controls of a crippled Sop- 
nel. This is everyman’s death 
sted, sick. hungry—blasted into 
nothingness by B52 carpet bombing 
from over 25,000 feet. ripped apart by 
the miniguns of a Cobra helicopter gun- 
ship. incinerated by napalm and white 
phosphorus spinning from under the 
ЕУ Phantom. 

How to keep men functioning under 
these conditions? The Rand report goes 
mo the question in detail, and there 
several parts to the answer: the 
reeman cell: the kiem thao. or self- 
ical officer: and 
the mutual confidence that flows back 
and forth through the squad, platoon 
and company. 


э ol a пса looking 


1 
criticism session: the pol 


The the э cells, in the words of 
the Rand report, “live, work and fight 
together, encourage and supervise one 


»other and are duty-bound to help 
each other im combat, to help th 
wounded buddies to the rear or to re- 
move their dead bodies. The cell abo 
provides а means of continuous chec 

g for signs of flagging morale. The 
is accepted, Rand says. “without 
зу bitterness or anger." Many came to 
depend on it. A North Vietnamese so 
dier: “During the infiltration to thc 
south, the other men in my cell had 

ven me a lot of assistance. such as 
caning my gun and ammunition when 


умет 


“I remember you now—you like to get on top and yell Bingo! ” 


173 


PLAYBOY 


“Well, Miss Webster. it look some doing, but 
here we are alone at last!” 


I was tired or sick. That attitude of the 
other men in the cell was so encourag: 
ing that I was even more determined to 
endure the hardships in order to arrive 
in the south. 

The purpose of the self-criticism mect- 
ings “is to assist the individual as well 
s the collective group . . . to improve 
performance by improving relations be- 
tween man and man, man and cadre and 
cadre and cadre, by analyzing and there- 
by correcting past mistakes in расце 
d by relieving in lual anxieties and 
hostilities before they can expand and 
corrode individual or collective moral 
А North Vietnamese master sergeant: 
1 was pleased when the company Cadr 
criticized me lor my mistakes, because, 
thanks to them, | could make corrections 
id they were not known to the troops, 
might lose confidence in me. 

Matt ight call for a court- 
mai ricin Army are dealt 
with by kiem thao. A cadre recalled that 
he had been criticized for Heeing from 
Че although he was only slightly 
ded. "I did not feel depressed or 
scouraged, because I admitted I was 
too scared and ran aw though the 
wound on my hand was not serious,” he 
told the interviewer. 

A North Vietnamese private: “I 
would compare criticism sessions to а 
mirror with which I could look at my 
face, H my face had a stain, I could scc 
it through the mirror in order to de: 
t up. 


wh 


The political officer's mai 
wd, is "to mobilize the 
of the men, like а sort of Jay 


plain, "liste: to their troubles, 
consoling them and rebuilding their 


174 morale if it is adversely aflected by the 


death of some comrades, by failure 
batle, by nostalgia for family or by 
other factors. In contrast to the combat 
leaders, who are on the whole v 
tough, the political officers are generally 
described as ‘gentle, affable. friendly 
From past ws they emerged 
universally liked and respected. men 

But a certain amount of boredom and 
cynicism about the political officers 
seeps into the interview. "W 
his orders,” à. private said, 
think the men liked him very much. He 
used to talk too much, especially during 
the night meeting, when we were all 
tired. . . . He said we should go on 
trying harder and harder, doing this and 
avoiding that, which we all knew about 
already. Young fighters do uot enjoy 
listening to lengthy specche 
The Rand study also focuses on the 
fact that, to a remarkable degree. com- 
pany and platoon commanders take their 


men into their confidence in discussing 
Lions and are open to sug- 
cs. This is not always 
North 


military ope 
gestions for ch 
possible, and in such cases, the 
like othe 
id argue alt 
nple," said a North Viet- 


namese private, “once we stopped and 
stayed the ni There were 
plenty of wrenches and foxholes around 


but pany commander in- 
sisted that hter had to dig a new 
hole, We were very tired . . . and we 
felt that this order was unreasonable. 
ly. some fighters dug their holes 
without enthu During the next 
n uie session, we cr 
cized the company commander for wast 
ing our labor. He explained that he 
expected more troops would be coming 


icism 


10 our campi 


g site. They might need 
more holes just in case of enemy 
tack. We agreed with his 
and the ones who did not dig new holes 
admitted their shortcomings 
Nov an army for Western man, perhaps, 
but what a painful contrast to our uni 
formed cover-up artists, buck passers and 
eerists! We have created. or had cre- 
ated for us, a military machine without 
a soul, without even a functioning brain, 
modeled on the most incompetent of 
modern cor porations—Lockheed, or Gen- 
1 Dynamics. Thats what the military- 
industrial co ns: one big happy 
bunch of guys peddling the world's 
costliest and most profitable activity, w 
If the generals are the executives in 
this model, the enlisted men are the 
assemblyline workers: drafted, trained 
—more or les—anonymously shuttled 
nto their low-skilled jobs by an individ- 
replacen 
grecable year or 
either on foot oi 
s they arrived. 
Troops must be a terrible nuisance to 
the Pentagon. Using dope. letting their 
ow, visiting collechouses, publish- 
ing subversive broadsides, deserting, re 
fusing to obey orders. There hasn't been 
ilitarily reliable unit in Vietnam for 
n to carry 


It's doubtful whether such a unit 
even in peaceful backwaters like West 
rmany and South Korea. 


No wonder the generals and ad 
talk so much about c electronic bar 
defield,” laser guided “sm: bombs— 


for dumb pilots, presumably—and an 
all-volunteer Army that will fight any- 
without opinions, for the old 
» inducement of а fat pay check. 


ical ollicers? To smash 
white, invader? Because fighting 
ing and d have all become pi 
1 endless present? I don't know, but I 
think 1 can hear those harsh, 
ngsong voices, carried on the Pa 
nd, arguing about digging bunkers. I 


under 


to ash 
y are still 


alive? How many have jk 


berless army of th dead since 
organized that first platoo s 
I pay them and the Viet Cong the su- 
preme compliment of not ебіне the 
same pity for them that 1 do for the 
15,000 Americans who died in Vietna 
the 180,000 South Vietnamese. troops— 
poor peasants mostly—and the coun 
ns North and South. For the 
tnamese, there was somethi 
like glory in their going. 


digger's FAME (onines pom pige 138) 


because you wanted to go down to 
Miami. That was a mean thing to di 

"It was," the Digger said. "Eight years 
later, I sce it now. 1 had it thrown up to 
me enough. 1 asked her, she mind if I 
went to the football game. "No." I go. All 
right, I knew she didn't like it. But 1 fig- 
ше, she don't, it don't make her mad 
enough to say she don't like it. So 1 go. 
Then she gets a whole lot of backer- 
uppers like you and 1 get more shit 
about that вате I get for stolen goods. 
The judge was easier on me and he put 
me in jail. At least that ended sometime." 

“I tell you what," Paul said, “let's act 
like adults. The game was Kitty Lee. 
Forget the charming story about the 
game, all right? Aggie never believed it, 
anyway. | did. but Pm naive. I was 
naive. | believed you." 

“Well,” the Digger sa 
the game. 

"Sure," Paul said. “Then in February 
Thad Monsignor Labelle in the ground 
and I was trying to get this shop on an 
even keel again. Tr be- 
cause Га been a priest sixteen years and 
this was the first parish I really wanted. 
Thirty-eight years old, and a prize in my 
hands if | didn't mess it up. And you 
showed up 

“I did,” the Digger said. 

"Yeah," Paul said. "Kitty was a year 
shy of the age of consent when you went 
off to that game with her, and the Chi- 
ind of 


d, "we went to 


it . “He'd been to the district 
attorne I to call Eddie 
Gaffney down at Saint Pius and get him 
to speak to somebody who knew the 
assistant. D. A. on the case. And I also 
had to explain to Eddie why it was that 
my half-witted brother, whom he'd got- 
ten a pardon for, out of the goodness of 
his heart. was in trouble 
“Somebody got a thousand dollars for 
that pardon, I remember it.” the Digger 
said. “I think it might've been Good- 
ness Galfney's thieving lawyer brother 
up to the Statchouse there, was the fel- 
low, I think about it long enough." 
“Jerry,” Paul said, "a lawyer rep- 
ents you, he gets a fee.” 
"Somebody else the Digger 
it’s a bribe they call it." 
fee,” Paul said. “Since T 
it. k I ought to get to call it 
what I like. I thought that was all it 
was going to take to set you up, so I 
wouldn't have to worry about you any- 
Then Kitty Lee came along and I 
was in for it à n. It was harder that. 
е. The Lees w ad and they were, 
what were they, anyway, Jerry, Congre- 
gationalists" 


doe 


"Some kind of Protestants, 
ger said. 

"Congregationalists;" Paul said. “Ed- 
die Gaflney had to call Father Wang. 
Father Wang called the Reverend. Di 
Wong. Dr. Wong seriously exaggerated 
your contrition to the Lees. Where the 
hell did you meet Kitty. Lee, anyway?" 

“Inna bar" the Digger sa was 
down to the Saratoga, there, she come in 
with a couple guys I knew. I scooped 
her. She was а cute kid." 
That was a 
1 


the Dig- 


id. 


1 know” the Digger sı 1 
should've asked to see her license 

Five thousand dollars for not ask- 
ing," Paul said. 


"| thought that was steep at the 
time," the Digger said. 

“1 didn’ Paul said. "If Mr. Lec'd 
wanted twenty. I would've given it to 
могу rape. Mann Act. Great 
stuff for me, Jerry. Five thousand was 
cheap. Dirty. but cheap." 

“и was still high for hush money," 
the Digger said. 

“Maybe,” Paul said, "but it w; 
check. It was my money. I knew I w 
going to get it back. If I'd've thought 
you could get five thousand dollars to 
gether in a bank vault with a rake, I 
might've asked you, As it was. I took Mr. 
Lee's oller before he changed his mind. 
“Half of it was mine, anyway,” the 
ger said. 


what was yo 


ppreciated what you 
But hall that five, that. should've 
been mine, anyway. The rest, the rest 
was yours." 

“From wh 
The Hibernian insurance," the Dig- 
er said. “Ma had five from the Hiber- 
nians, she died. You got it all. 
the beneficiary," 

the Digger s 
rest home, 1 went over there every 
goddamned morning before I go down 
the place, I stop at the store first and 
1 buy her a pack of Luckies and the 
paper. Rain or shine, and J talk to her 
at least an hour. 1 think I missed once, 
the whole eight months she was there. 
1 had the runs and 1 couldn't get 
far away from the toilet as it would've 
en me to drive there. I got hell for 
that, too, Listen to her, day after day, 
bitching about the way they treat her, 
they treated her good. "hats a good 
home. ‘What am I doing here, youd 
think I didn't have a Lamily, all the rest 
of it. Every damned day. 

“ know,” Paul said, “I caught some 
of that, too." 
¢ a seven-room house,” the Dig- 
J. "I'm a good Catholic, I got 


did. 


Iw 
“Sure, 
inn 


four young kids. Two oldest in one room 
and Patricia and Matthew in the other 
one, she keeps him up all night with the 

ing, makes him cranky as hell all the 
She way just a little kid. They we 
ittle kids, agie’s taking c 
of both of then s not getting no 
sleep, I got to listen to Ma. Where am 1 
supposed ta put her? She started in on 
me one day, I was up late and I guess 
bly I a litle hard on her. 
Ma, 1 said, ‘you can sleep inna god- 
damned yard, all right? No. ГИ do bet 
ter'n that for you. The garage, put a 
nice cot there. Beat the hell out of the 
car, but, and I got to warn you, might 
be a little chilly this time of year. Better 
wait till she warms up some. Then you 


both 


hollering and yelling, raised me from a 
pots over to the 
wl that, now she's old 
and sick. Jesus, it was awful 

“I know.” Paul said, “J got some of 
it. too.” 

“Well” the Digger said, "where the 
ћете you gonna put her? You're over 
to Saint Stephen's then. You put her 
inna tabernacle, maybe? 

“Not me, aid, "I could do no 
wrong. You 

"Oh." the Digger said, “beautiful. I 
was also getting it when I wasn't even 
d.” 

She was a querulous old wom 

Paul said. “She had a lot of pain. She 

was immobile. and she'd always done for 

as sick. 

And when she died,” the Digger said, 

“she had five thousand bucks, which she 
didn't leave to me.” 

Look,” Paul said, “ГЇ add some 
up. If you want, when I get 
through, PI split down the middle with 


aro 


“Coughlin nailed me fourteen hun- 
dred dollars for Ma's funeral,” Paul 
said. "Twenty months before, cleven- 
hundred for Рах. 1 paid it. 1 looked him 
ght in the сус. 1 said: "You know 
Johnny, 1 thought eleven was ргецу 
high when I seuled for my father. This 
most the ide funeral, 
casket and everything. 1 think fourteen 


was ical same 


hundred's a little steep’ 
^ know it’ he said, in that oily voice 
he uses when he's giving you the bu 
ness” Paul said, ""but I can’t help it, 
Monsignor, to save myself, Everything's 
going up all the time. I just can't keep 
up with it. 1 sympathize with you, be- 
lieve me. This is rock bottom." 
"Calling me Monsignor doesn’t case 
the pain, Coughlin,’ I said," Paul said, 
“and I paid him. That was the last time 
Coughlin saw anything the archdiocese 
had to hand out. That was the most cx- 
pensive fourtcen-hundred-dollar fur 


al 175 


PLAYBOY 


176 


that devil ever тап, Tc 
that.” 
"p thought Dad's insurance 
his funeral,” the Digger said. 
"Ir did,” Paul said. “He had five with 
the Hibernians, too. A thousand from 
the union, Social Security was a little 
over two hundred 
“So thar didn’t come out of you,” 
Digger said 
"Sorry" Paul said. "I got the canceled 
check for his funeral, if you'd like to see 
it. The insurance went to Ma. | never 
asked her for it. She had nothing else. 
No Social Security from the Poor Clares, 


guarantee you 


covered 


the 


was а 


If they “guys like 
you'd have to pay for it, Since they 
don't, guys like me have to pay for it. 


No complaint: The Church didn't tr 
Ma like it should've, and that wa 
but it treated me a lot better'n it proba- 
bly should've, and I took it. So she 
washed the floor and she walked on it 
а she slipped and she broke her hip. 
How many years'd she done that? 

“Ever since I can remember,” 


the 


Paul said, "you take it in 
stride, The hospital was thirty-threc 
hundred. dollars that I paid, plus what 
ever she paid. 
“Hey,” the Digger said, 
was belore the nursing home.” 
Paul said. "Flynn runs a red home, as 
you sty, He 
two months of dru 
and the man who cuts toenails, she went 
righ through all the money in the bank 
that P hadn't asked her Then 1 
started writing checks again. Every week, 


tworiltythree, uwofifiyseven, two-filty- 
six. 1 figure, thirty-five hundred. dollars 
or so. OK, want hall? 


No," the Digger said 
“You're sure," Paul said. “Eleven for 
Puts funcral, lourtecn lor hers, thirty- 


five hundred for her being sick, in the 
home, plus the thirty-rhree 1 paid the 
hospital. you sure you don't want half 
of the Hib 
“1 did't know," the Digger said. "I 
sured, Ma's probably pissed off at me, 
1 went inna can. 1 didn't know you spent 
all that dough.” 


ians? 


“What is it you want, Jerry? 
said. 
the Digger said. 
sud, “that I know. 
where you were, I 


went inside the shrine and offered up a 
prayer. Before I saw Father Francis. I 
ked God to grant you a safe return. 1 
also asked Him to keep you out of games 
you couldn't afford. 1 even asked Him 
10 let you win, Т was praying for me. I 
said: "God, You're not paying attent 
He's going to get in trouble. Please get 
him out " 


on. 


“Father Doherty," the Digger said, “I 
got some bad news for you about the 
power of prayer.” 

“How much?” Paul said. 

“Eighteen thousand dollars," 


the Dig- 


The ship's clock ticked several um 


“That,” Paul said, “is а very im- 
pressive sum of money." 

“1 think so," the Digg . “I know 
1 was impressed. I didn't really know, 


you know, how bad it was. Then ] get 
back to the room, and I add everything 
up. Well, I had an idea. But 1 add it up. 
D was, I was impressed. I felt like some- 
body kicked me in the guts is how I 
felt." 

‘The clock ticked several more times. 

“I cam understand that,” Paul 
"Of course, the question is, where'r 
going to get the money?” 

Well,” the Digger said, “I got some 
ot it. 
How much? 

“Abou 


aid. 
you 


Paul said. 
two thousand," 


it come out wl 


here, 


did the figu 
the Digger said. 


g onna way over 


"Where do you plan to get it" Paul 
said. 
4 little short of 


“I know where 
to get sixteen, but it's probably gonna 
get me in a deep tub of shit, That don't 
appeal to me. Thats why I come out 
here. Now you say, you remind me, all 
them times I come out here, 
bind. Right. But I don't like as 
you know? I know you're pretty 
it. Pm a big pain in the ass. But it 
1 don't plan all them things, you know? 
1 just got a way, it seems like I can stay 
out of trouble just so lon 

1 am, in trouble aga 


с 


I am again. 1 had some way, getting that 
But 


dough, Paul, I wouldn't be here. 
1 don't. I hav 
it, won't get me in worse 
ady 

“Who,” Paul said, "to whom do you 
owe all this money? Forgive me, I'm in- 


n't got any w 


nocent. Is it some casino? 1 never knew 
anybody in a scrape like this 
"Well" the Digger said, "actually, 


probably, I don't know yet. Some Joan 


shi 


"How much time will he let you 
4. "to raise this money?” 
the Digger said. “He'll let 
me have the rest of my life is what he'll 
Jet me have. That's the way he wants it. 
I's me, 1 don't want the timc. 1 figure 
the vig gocs me four and five hundred. 
Probably five, maybe I hold him off for 


four, it's somebody it turns out 1 know 


“Four hundred dollars a month,” Paul 
1 

Four hundred 
id. “I got two grand. That's cither vig 
plus sixteen off tlie nut or its five weeks 
to raise the cighteen. See, that's what J 
come out here, find out, what do Т do, 
what do I plan о 
the two 


I dunno how I usc 


ul said. 
2” the Digger said. 

“Say what you want me to do," Paul 
“Those other times I listened to 
your story and then I said I'd try to help 
you, and you said: " and | 
started making telephone calls and pre 
suming on fi ing to find a 
way out for you. This you 
to say right out what you want me to 
do. 1 think it might do you good to hes 
yourself say it. 

“L want you to give me si 
d dollars." 

“Not lend," P 

"Yeah," the Digger said, 
Fm not looking lor no loan 

"No," Paul said. 

The clock ticked. 

The Digger cleared his throat, 
he said, "you know, maybe you don't 
know, you know what this means, It 
don't matter, what shy got the paper, you 
know? They all work the same way 
They're going to come around and say, 
where's the money? And 1 got to have 
the for him ds all. Otherwise, 
well, they got, every onc of them has got 
а guy c Louisville Slugger, 
come around and break your kneecaps 
for you or something. I mean that, Paul. 
1 could get my knees broke. 

T believe it" Paul said. "You con- 
vinced me, a long. long time ago. that 
if anybody knows how those things're 
done, you do.” 

Furthermore,” 


me I wi 


teen thou- 


mon 


so wih a 


ger said, "fur- 


the Im mot getting the knees 
broke. [t just don't appeal to me. Pm 
not gonna sit around and wait, I 


gonna do something before it happens.” 

“That seems to have a th 
sound to it,” Paul said. 

“You can take it any way you w: 
the Digger said. "One way or the other, 
Im getting that dough. You don't give 
it to me, I'm getting it some other way. 
But I am gening it. D don't need the 
kind of grief a man gets if he don't" 
Well, al said, “let's see. 
There aren't an awful lot of ways you 
can do that 


now, 


ank and get yourself а mortgage man,” 
“That's one of the first things I think 
oL" the Digger said. "I can hock The 
Bright Red. Then I think, I'll be lucky, 
somebodyll give me tw оппа place. 

that » The house, 1 got to 
. What's that good foi? 1 


me: 


suppose I could. probably get five on 
house, I was to go out and look for it. So 
I'm still short, and not only that, what's 
Aggie got then? Nothing. So I think, I 
say, I'm not gonna do it, It's not Aggie 
and the kids’ fault, E need that kind of 
dough. I's something I did. I can't go 
out and do that to them. 1 gotta keep 
them things free." 

“Very touching," Paul 
course, it doesn’t leave you 
to maneuver, but there it 

“There it is.” the Digger said. “Tm 
not looking for no credit, Paul. Fm just 
telling you. I'm not getting no more 
mortgages. So that leaves me, that leaves 
me with some of the other things I think 
of to do. 

"Which are?” Paul said. 

Well" the Digger said, “I don't 
know as I oughta answer you that one 
some of them could be kind of 
and you might get nervous 
"Now, that," Paul said, "that is very 
definitely a threat. As Tittle as 1 know 
about being threatened, T can recognize 

at. Just what do you plant to do, 
Jerry? Rob the poor box down at Saint 
Hilary’ 

“What 1 got planned," the Digger 

"s none of your business, Paul 

want to help? OK. you don't 
nt to help. I give yc you lay 
it right onna line. You don't gimme the 
long face and say: ‘Jeez, Jerry, I don't 
have it’ Man knows where he stands 
with you, at least. Until the kneecaps go, 


said. "Of 
uch room 


"There you g 
course you got i 
running around and the hair. dyeing the 
hair, the whole bit, "Course the kneccaps 
yours, but that don't matter, does 


ar 
[ra 


Paul said, 
Bs to me and you 
I belonged to Labelle be- 
П ivl belong to 
None of 


Oh. come off it, 
None of this belo: 
know it. It 
fore me, 
else after 


somebody 


me. this is 


Jer 

But all right. 
“Long as Paul's 
mm 

“The cars Paul 
dothes're mine. I've got a couple of very 
small bank accounts, you think 
bout how long Гус had to work to get 
them. I couldn't live two years on what 
Tve got in the bank. The rest belongs to 
the Church. 


ou got the place at Onset,” 


still 
ger said. 


yowre 
the E 


whe: 


the 


* Paul said. “I paid fifteen- 
five for that HeT seven years ago. I've 


© 
ЧИ har T жм ed to uU on 
something else. It’s about twenty-eight 
thousand now, with appreciation and 
flation and the improvements I've made. 


“Sex and violence! Sex and 
let them watch the new 


Т owe three thousand on the note now. 


So, in equity, I've got twenty-five thou- 
nd dollars, say. About that 

That's what 1 was saying.” rhe 
“Those th Paul said, 


Express'll trust me for a month and I've 
wot a new set of Walter Hagens. I've got 
five thousand dollars worth of А. 
I spent twenty-four years of m 

grubbing up that very little pile. d Lire: 
tire at sixty-five the 1 expect ГШ 


got nineteen years left to add to it. If T 
ту. or dort die 


the 


Otherwise, Fm 


halfway along on 
decline. 

"Now. 
1 said. 
years to pay 
you 


what is it want, 
“You want those cw 
for three or 


you Jerry? 
ty four 


ar da 


mned ass of your 


making a godd 
sell. That's what your pos 
fo 1 уои" 
ing like you never grew up, 
pect me to pay for it. You w; 
turn over everything Гуе got, 
and start over. I won't do it. 

That house in Onset is my retire- 
ment home. I've got to pay it off before 


n is. You're 
act- 


e still 
and you 
nt me to 
t0 you, 


wo years old 


I get on a pension, because I won't be 
ту more than the taxes when 
ybe nor even those. I'd bet 


ter not live too long is what I'm saying. 
If I mortgage it now, to pay off some 


iolence! We shouldn't 


so much." 


bookies in Nevada, I won't have it when 
I quit. I just won't. I'll have to sell it 
and throw the money into the common 
pot of some home for drooling old 
priests and spend the rest of my years 
about by jo 
This time you want more'n 


geting chis 


No. thanks. 


1 can afford.” 
n sorry I came,” the Digger said. 
“You're nowhere near as sorry as T 


am.” Paul said. “Phat doesn't mean I'm 
Not sorry you got yourself into this mess. 
Now, you told me what you 
pied me to do, and I told you I won't 
do it. And youre mad. If youre in- 
terested, El tell you what I will do, and 


though 
w 


you can take it or leave it. М you'd 
rather be mad, you cam be mad. 
оше, 


The Digger had started to get up. Не 
tc," he said. 


t down а; 
I take anything.” 
Oh. I know that" Paul said, 
this is a little more than that, 
something. This is a dea 
have to give something 
p.” the Digger 
1 give you my Limited," P 
“Eve got three thousand dollars 
special bank account, 
Christmas and Easter 
weddings over the past lew years. There 
isn't going to be any of that now, 
the pastor's spec ich-slow scheme, 
but that's the way it goes. The Elect 


ain. 


I'm despe: 


l said, 
in a 


177 


PLAYBOY 


178 


“I may not know what's normal, but I know what you like.” 


good for at least another year, and my 
Limited's probably not as important to 
me as your kneecaps arc to you. Or to 
me, for that matter, You can hz 
thousand dollars, free. gratis 
nothing. You don't have to pay it back." 

"But I got to do someth the 
Digger said. 

“Correct,” Paul said. "I get y 
cmn word: This is rhe last time, Yow 
my brother, but you're a little old now 
10 need a keeper, and I've had my share 
of the job. I don't want it anymore. I 
d much Tuck at i 
sk for miracles, Jerry." 
said. “They're nice, but they're hard to 
come by. You'll be in another mess next 
year. You know it and ] know it, I don't 
want promises of good behavior 
OK." the Digger said. 

What I want.” Paul said, "what T 
at is peace and quier. I want a prom- 
ise that you'll po to someone else the 
next time you get in the soup. You 


з 


the I 

I'm not Раш said, "I'm at 
the point where a has to drive а 
л. 1 should've done it before, 


king about risky 
r know your history. 
You went to prison for minding Dinny 
Hands cellar full of solen jew 

twenty y nd you didn't lean 
solitary thing. You almost went to p 
on when they fod out about those 


television sets and stereos in the cellar of 
"The Bright Red. It was all I could do to 
in 


persuade them the help put ih 
there and you didn't know about it, 
you know 1 was lying, Jerry 
it, too. Your vacation was all that saved. 
you, that time, that and the silence of 
your friends. 

know the way your mind works; 
Paul said. "I don’t like it, but 1 know it. 
When you get the chance, you steal. The 
trouble is that you're not a very good 
thief. You've been cmght twice. The 
last time you were next door to a long 
sentence, You got away that time. You 
won't get a їп. You sce, 1 know 
them, too. fom dealing with them in 
your behalf. They remember a m 
got one frec. If he slips again, they 


“Just out of curiosity.” the Digge 
said, “what do you care, this is the write- 


off and all? I don't mean nothing by it, 
I'm just asking,” 


“Tve been here two years short of the 
magic number,” Paul said. “Nobody's 
ever been pastor of Holy Sepulchre for 
ten years without making domestic prel- 
ate. Td like to. Jerry, I'd really 
Id like for you not to foul it up for 
me." 

“That's what 1 thought,” the 
said. 


Digger 


What you think is your business." 
aid. "Your family deserves some- 
thing beuer'n weekends traveling back 
and forth to Walpole to sce Daddy. 
1 deserve something better'n comi 
downstairs every year to hear about Lit- 
tle Brother's latest calamity. You tell me 
you won't mortgage the house or the s 
Joon to get the money that you lost all 
by yourself, But there's no other legal 
way to get it. So you're telling me you'll 
commit crimes. And I'm teling you 
you'll get caught. Don't give me that 
pious stuff about your family. ГЇ give 
you three thousand dollars. For that I 
get your promises: no more emergency 
Visits and no more crimes. You'll get 
caught" 


g 


You're buying me off" the Digger 
said. 
“I'm buying me” Paul Im 


buying me off. 1 told you. I'm making 
provision for my old 1 
bailing you out. Now I'm buying me oft. 
] want those псе. For three thou- 
d dollars, we're quits. Take it or 
leave it," 
"Take it,” 


ager said. "You got 


my word. 
“га beter have,” Paul said. “I was 
really looking forward to that Limited." 
“Jesus Christ, Dig," the Greek said, 
“you got way in over your fuckin’ head. 
l saw that fuckin’ marker, J al 


fuckin’ shit. The fucks the m: 
you. you lose your fucki 


' mind or some- 
thing? Guys. guys like us, you haven't 
got that kind of fuckin money. What 
the fuck happened?" 
You'd make some guy a great fuckin’ 
wife, you know that, Greek?” the Digger 
said. "That fuckin’ mouth of you 
come inna my pl d start pli 
ike it was а fuckin! radio, anybody ask 
you to do that? Fuck you, Gr 
“Fuck you, Dig." the Greek said. They 
sat at a table at the rear of The Bright 
Red, They had draught beers in front of 
them, It was early in the afternoon 
the air conditioner m steady white 
ripple of interference the ball 
me on the television. set above the 
front door. “That's my fuckin’ cighteen 


nd 


Cross 


K you're getting so fuckin’ big about. It 
ighteen K, 


as your eighteen, you had е 
1 might come around and be nice. But 
it’s my paper and I know fuckin’ well 
you haven't got the dough and that 
makes you a big fuckin’ problem. Them 
1 don't like.” 
"Look at that," the Digger said. “a 
ndred and sixty-five thousand a усаг 
nd rhe bastard can't get the fuckin’ 
Dall outa the fuckin’ infield, for Chri 
sake." 

“L assume you're not down on them." 
the Greek said. 

“Line's wrong." 
way them bastards get five m 
land, McDowell there. I laid off.” 


hi 


e'n Cleve 


"Still at it,” the Greek said. "I'm be- 
ginning to sec it, now, how it happened. 
You just haven't got no fuckin’ sense 
is all.” 

The Digger thought for a moment 
“That's about right," he said, "I think 
that's about right. I start off, blackjack, 
twenty-one, they call it, I had сїрїн 
hundred and twenty bucks and du 
days and I'm there the first night, I just 
couldn't wait.” 

“The fuck you 
blackjack?" the Greek said. "My litle 
knows enough. don't play black jack. 
Look" the Digger said, "my little 
kid, too. My holy brother. Everybody 
knows that, got any fuckin’ brains at all. 
But sec, I see this old bastard, brown 
sports coat. He's betting thousand-dollar 
bills. T never saw more'n two of them in 
my whole fuckin’ life, and onc of them 
was queer. A guy. stupid shit, wanted to 
sell me a hundred of them. This guy. 
he's and he's peeling 
them off like they're onna outside of 
something he's gonna cat, all right? So. 
1 got to be all right, J see that. 1 pay a 
grand. the trip. the eight-twenty's some- 
body else's, I'm peeling fives, it's gonna 
last me a long time, 1 lose every god- 
damned hand. Which. of course, Fm not 
gonna do, I'm too fuckin" smart for that. 
So I win some, 1 lose some. You been to 
eek 
the Greek siid. “I went to 
fuckin’ Havana before that fuckin’ Com- 
I lost my fuckin’ shirt 
Nothing like what you did. About five 
hundred. T said: ‘I'm not doing that 
in. Got hell from my wife, too. 1 
don't go for that sl ng other guys 
rich with my money, 

Your wife," the Digger said. “My 
fuckin’ wile, she knew about this she 
would fuckin’ Kill me. Anyway, the old 
bastard's got a credit card. Shows it, he 
can cash checks. He writes out the check 
nd this sleepy-looking cocksucker OKs 
it. The old bastard gets his own thou- 
sands back, he starts in again. Only now, 
of course, he’s out the check. Now right 
fuckin’ there, Greek, is when 1 should've 
quit, right onna fuckin’ spol. But I 
don't. 

“I think,” the Digger said, "I think 
Tm different, not like the old coot. 1 
had about sixty of the house money. I 
had eight-ei, Beautiful. 1 think, old 
bastard's using up all the bad luck. I'm 
gonna sit there and make hay. He sits 
there, calm as hell, nerves like he's got, 
he oughta be robbing banks, all 1 gotta 
do is bet stea nd 1 make a 
bundle. 

See what I mean?" the Digger said. 
"Stupid. No more fives. Twenties. Some 
good cards, some bad cards, 1 win some 
and I lose some, they deal them fuckin’ 
cards like they're coming out of a pistol, 


doing playing 


sot the genui 


mic took ow 


PLAYBOY 


180 breakfast, people g 


bang, bang Pretty soon I haven't 
got no money left 


1 was surprised 


“the Digger said. “I 


had cighteighty when 1 start playing 
twenties. 1 wasn't playing that long. 1 
win a few. Can: be. But there it is. 


they got the whole cight-c 
1, I'm out of money 

the Digger sai m not like 
ard. Û haven't got no credit 
card. But. the tour there, special 
ngement and all? I ign a marker 
You know about that, rightz You being 
the guy that winds up with die 
markers.” 

“Uh-huh.” the Greek said. “and the 
(соте is vou owe the fuckin’ money, 
Y ied ihe p the 
gh. No other way." 
did.” the Digger stid. 
five of what vou got.” 

"s when you should've quit,” the 


hiy back and 


per, you ow 


That night 


Greek said. 

“Ye the Digger said, 
quit when I ger onna la 
the Greek all that, plus the e у 
I give them that they give me. My wile. 
well, it. I lost almost six K and its still 
carly when I get up. and vou got no 
idea, the shit 1 took. my wile. I told her, 
Fm spending a grand, go to Vegas. Boy. 
I got up from that table, almost six 
grand down, ivs like they had one of 
them hookups, I could hear her and she 
still don't 


I should've 


don't even know it yer М 


know 

“1 went to bed that way.” the Dig 
said, “АП that still they give you 
the broads in Vegas? Well. 1 don't screw 


around much, But I had it in mind. you 
know, things go all right. maybe 1 uy 

lile su Well. that night 
Fm nor in o broads. 1 
couldnvye got it up on a bet. 1 was 


Fuckin’ sick is what 1 was. 
"he next day E get up. I feel awful. 
The kid. his girl didn't get her. period. 
two weeks late? Fm the sume way. I'm 
mot doin’ that again, no, sir. No more 
fuckin" cards, Breaklast and then Tm 
gonna d then Fm gonna 
have dinner, Is for the 
y Em there, 
dy onna ropes. Im gonna be a 
good boy. And think about how I come 
up with five [or being stupid. 

"Now, that place,” the Digger said. 
“they got that place laid ош preity 
good. The pictures they give you, you 
got swimming, you got the golf, the 
horseback riding, you can shoot pool, 

, they g nt to 
si around the pool. they got broads 
with big tits 10 look ar Great. Except. 
it's over a hundred, we're there, all three 
di rode a fuckin’ horse in my 
life, and | don't want to. And. besides, 
they got, they don't want you riding no 
horses. they got them casinos open da 
and night. You go down for fuckin’ 

bling. Gamblin 


but 
This is the first d 


o more cu 


tennis, vou w 


1 теп 


what they got for you to do. That's all 
they got for you to do. Unless maybe 
you wanna go the library, down the a 
port, watch the planes'r something, 
"I'm not gambling," the Digger said. 
“L sit around the pool, I sec a dor of 
dumpy old f у 
got white and blue hair and th 
you could make shoes out of it. 
these guys look like King F 
pin’ around in them rubber t 
wear on the leet, and they're all smok- 
ing cigars. Now and then, you see some- 
thing go by, litle short of seventy. the 
old Bastards look at her and you know, 
hundred-dollar whore. made out of sheet 
metal, you lucked her and you'd cut it 


oll on gh edge. 
^] took. about all of that 1 could,” the 
Digger said. “Then 1 go to the movies. 


I fly all the way across the country and 
I go the movies. D gotta мау out ol 
trouble. 

"How's the movi 

“shitty,” the Di 
them spy-story things. T1 
й. D don't cue about the тем. You eant 
believe it. Ics all shit. But 1 stay. 1 don't 
stay, 1 can go down the street and watch 
them press pins or something. 15 not 
ау bad as the fuckin’ pool and at least 
I'm nor losing no money. OI course, Em 
nor making no money. 
money, that is what T 
Every single goddamned minute. 
and how if 1 don't think ol something, 
Fin gonna spend the rest of my lile. prob 
ably. being married to a sawmill. 

go back the hotel,” the Digger said. 

I still havent got anything m mind 
1 meet Mikey-Mike, couple the other 


the Greek said. 
“One of 
еу show һай of 


v said. 


That 


guys we hı Food ist bad, 
that 1 give see a 
show, and a id we 


pay and 1 get the change in quarters 
They're all going back and forth, one 
of them gets а hundred. oll the slots, 
grabbed it right after this jerk in a rain 
that dumped about five hundred 
‚ nest guy plays roulette, Duck а 
tern. drops two-lifty the night bi 
still im preity good shape and all, six 
hundred buckos left and he likes golf, 
he’s out all day and he feels pretty good 
Tonight he gets it back. And Mikey. 
Mike, shacked up all day, hundred and 
а hall, one of the guys says to him: ‘Lot 
of bread.” Mikey-Mike says: ‘No, not for 
what they do to you for that. Из dirt 
fuckin-cheap.” 

"So Tm all" the Digger said, "I feel 
bad. you know? Everybody's having а 
ime, got «ense enough, расе them 


coa 


lore, 


good 
selves, 1 hadda spend the day inna 
movies because I'm a big asshole. So I 
think: Shit, 1 can't spend two more days 
ike this. Fl be an old man, the time T 
I'I play the slots. Man's got to 
do something. 

icki 
cki 


quarters,” the Digger 


' dollars. You lose si: 


two bucks more, don't scare you much. 
I play nice and slow. Make them last. 
Them ihingsre rigged there. Every so 
olien you win a lile something, keep 
you interested. Pretty soon, though, no 
more quarters. Theres this woman 
there, got 10 be four hundred years old. 
Plays three n I at once, 1 watch 
talks. Can't he 
she says. just talks all the time. T 
was lower I've ever been in my 
wet change a five. The Digger. 
nickels. l'm playing 
“1 lose and 1 lose,” the Digger said. 
“The old lady leaves. probably going 
someplace, have a nice quiet heart at- 
g Pojackpe 

ful. Why the fuck dor 
Never mind. 


you ki 


ow 


tack or somet 
Beau 
quarters 


Zod don't hate 
me after all. I got, 1 got probably two 
hundred and fifty nickel, In paper 
cups. I take them aver the change booth. 
£ TENS.” 

i cups full of quarters,” 
sid. "Drake one the old 
ladys machines. Might as well get it 
over with, Eight quarters. Ten quart 
Twenty quarters. it keeps on eating 
them. 1 haul the lever. Jackpot, quar- 
ters, Fifty bucks. 

I go the change booth again." the 
Digger said. "Half dollars, Em halfway 
down the first roll. 1 jackpot the 
now | got, irs onc ol them ma 
chines, vou cin play three lines at once, 
1 got three jackpots. 

“Now,” the Di 
beats the machine 
Hashes, they ma 


E 


fs 


said, "anybody 
there's this red light, 
some noise about it. 


Gets the other dumb fucks hungrier. 
You hit one on the fifties on all three 
lines. they put you inna. Hall of Fame. 


Take a Polaroid of me. two girls in cow. 
boy suits, One of them » 
couldn't hear it unless you happened to 
be standing next to her, "You wanna get 
the best French inna dese? Fm too 
smart for that. “The money, 1 say, 
“gimme the money.’ Twenty-five hun 
dred in silver doll 
So vou go back to the blackjack 
table,” the Greek said 

Not on your 


s ıo me. 


Gim! 


money 
per. | can't сапу this stull ud 
Well, they got a lot of trouble finding 
that. I say: “Look, no shit, all right? I'm 
not putt m the dollar slots, 1 gott 
get a truck. take jr home Gimme 
hundreds. PI take fifties, hundreds is 
what 1 want’ They piss and moan a lot, 
but they do it. 

"I go back to the room, 
id. “Î went to bed. 1 felt 
1 P gor up from it 
п dell you that, I'm 
: 11 gor something to 
work with. Tomorrow I'm gonna get up 
and think some more, maybe 1 end up 
Hing my ass outa the gears. 

^I get up the next duy," the Digger 


said, "P feel preuy good. 1 go out the 
pool and have breakfast. a litle vodk, 
1 orange juice, D read the paper. АШ 
the time, I'm thinking. How do I get out 
ol this? How'd I get into it? Doing some- 
thing they know better 1 know. Playing 
cards. 1 didn’t play cards, ссп years. 
rains beat 
1 don know c 
w sports, 
we 1 know 


1 was always getting my 


ds. 


playing cards. 


санте not my 
I make а buck. 
sports, Fm bening against somebody 
else, maybe knows sports, don't know 
sports so good. OK, sports action. They 
also got sports action up the ass 

“That y he 
1,71 see in the paper Oakland à 
n. Oakland, Vida Blue, Sox've got 
bert listed. You do any bookin', Gree 
фиг» for jerks,” the Greek said. 


No.’ 
Lotta rich jerks around, then,” the 

Digger suc, 

"Because there's a lot of guys like me 

wnd, collect their миш, the Greek 

said. "Look closer the books, nest time 

is my advice, Pher 


a ridh on 
а few. Not many 

“Well, I go down there,” the Di 
said. “Sama Aniti Race Book 
change inna pitchers. They got Oak- 
Land, six aud а quarter. 

Now, that don’t sound bad, you just 
tome up. and look at i” the Digger 
said. “Blue's hotter'n hel. But Blues 
pitching in the Fenway. 1 remember a 
southie, pitched thi or twice, 
done all right, but that’s: Mel Pamell 
and he don't play for Oakland, He's a 
Ише retired, the way 1 hear it. Abo, 


шуйна hot as Blues duc to lose. Aud 
anyway, say what you want about Si 
bor, hes smart and he can throw that 


thing, and by now he’s been around the 
Fenway Jong enough, lie dont throw up 
when he comes out and looks at the 
wall. 1 think: Digger, you got something 
here, isn’t anybody che knows about 
So, they don't take no credit, the books, 
1 pur the wwenny-five down on the Sox. 
Guy hears me, kind of laughs and says: 
"You guys fiom Boston, youre too loyal" 
I think, nobody gets six olla Siebert 
inna Fenway, but 1 dont say anything. 
“They're Тош, no, duce, they're three 
rs behind us” the Digger said. 
Game's, the game's at night. Quarter ol 
seven out there, starts seven-thiriy here, 
over by quarter of ten, All E got to do is 
find something to do nll supper. H1 
play goll. It's just what E need. 1 ask the 
hotel, at clubs. 1 get out опа 
course. 1 played thirtysix holes. I's ove 
a hundred, Ш alone. 1 hate wh 
asy at it and there's 


In doing 
aM these: 
inna carts 
and E walk and I sweat 
I sweat some more, I played nii 
three beers, Nine more, I had а 
wich and a couple more beers. Then 1 


ighicen more. Front nine, four 


beers. 1 dont sweat at all, now. I don't 
pis. I'm divi 


drunk, [ull of beer, I go back the hotel, 
1 [ull of air 
too. So І stop 


j1 10 do something. Fm waiting 
too fuckin’ 
ıı до take a 
xldumned. trou- 


nervous to Git. T dont w: 
its too much 
о up the room 
i if 1 do smell 
I stink like shit 
e. Blow the sl 


Hell. I lose. 


wer Have 
Аһйну. E stroll around 
. They go ex- 
have a baby or 


her beer. 5 
to the book. n 
ws. Tm gonn 
hing, Results up: I's a fin 
ddamned even." 
"Good old Sonny Siebert, 


а drink," the Di 
the dough. 1 go back the 
of the fuckin’ 
а shower, have dinner, all 
1 мий, and Pin 


bought him. 


nna fuckin’ 


enjoy it, you know? I see Mikey Mike 
and we go amd we have dimmer, and 1 

illy, 1 haddi great meal. ‘So, he says 
10 me. ‘what about tonight? You wanna 
1 say: “Nope, not me. 1 


cy Mike's дона leave, he's got this 
i get blown and that, and 
ul, FH sit here a while 
and then I go watch the show,’ See, by 


then Fm getting over all that beer 1 


gge said, “they got this 


у. comes out and what's 


goddamned 
he 


oun 


1 say. “What's 
thought there's naked women or some- 
th He says: “Inna lounge. Revues 
inna lounge, weck nights. 

1 go in the bar.” the Digger said. “I 
get a Wild Turkey and I sit down. Then 
I get another Wild Turkey. Then the 
show starts. Waiter steered me right: 
naked women. D start to think: Maybe 
Mikey-Mike’s right, 1 do wanna get laid. 
after all. Then the top girl comes out. 
"Thats when I decide, 1 do wanna. get 


“Is she insulting us or inviting us lo a party?" 


PLAYBOY 


182 Iwas ten. | w 


who was that broad 


1. That broad. 


with the big tits, got killed in the car 
ccidentz" 

"I dunno," the 
: shield, 


sreck said. 

the Digger said. 

field,” the Greek said, 

id, “her. Remem- 


“They were bi aid. "I 


nember tli 


1 had bigger їйїп Jayne 
the Digger said. “I couldn't 
believe, I never saw anything 
ike that in my life. There's this guy sit 
ting next 10 me, I'm at the bar? I said to 
him: "Look, 1 know I'm seeing that, 1 
haven't gone nuts or anything. But that, 
that’s two guys in a girl suit or some 
s nothing like that in the 


Mansfield,” 


thing. The 
world." 


s Supertits,” he says. "She's full 
esc 


Had one of them Јар 
Fifty inches D say: "Them thi 
oughta go twenny pounds apiece, That 
broad. she shouldn't be able to walk 
around." 

“Theyre just like rocks, too, he 
says" the Digger said. “'You ask nice, 
you can get some of that. 1 don't recom- 
mend it, but you can. Three hundred an 
hour, bwt worth it. It's like fuckin 
onna goddamned ramp, anyway, and she 
thinks, she lets you pull "em, she earned 
her money. You can pull those, you can 
stretch bricks. I was you, I wouldn't do 
You want to get laid, go get a good 
ho and get laid. They'll give you a ride 
for the dough. Less dough, too." 

“1 say: "No, thi 
“Way thing n going lor me, 
probably get cancer) So he says: “You 
been playing against the house. Every- 
body gets cleaned out, doing that. What 
you need is a nice friendly game. 

"Oh, he's got a great. line of shit,” the 
Digger said. “This and that, we get a 
group of guys together, he's up 
L.A. with а group of guys from the bar- 
bershop, he runs a barbershop in L.A. 
comes up to Vegas because vou me 
sophisticated. kind. of guy there, knows 
wha he wants.” 

“You fuckin’ dummy," th k said. 
"You oughta go to the home, you shit- 
head. 

1 didn't go for it, Greek,” the I 
said. "You can call me all the names you 
want, you got all the paper there, I still, 


from 


I ain't dos my fuckin’ marbles. you 
know. 1 know when in gettin’ hustled. 
1 don't walk out in front of trucks, 


somebody asks me to. I said: ‘No? So he 
says, well, he says, what am I gonna do? 
I'm going to bed. "Good Christ, man; he 
says "is temthirty. You come to Las 
Vegas, ро to bed at tenahirty? So I sa 
1 told him, thirty-six: holes of goll, 
the excitement, I'm not as young as I 
used to be. Yup, I'm going 10 bed. So 
there I am. Qu 
rack. Haven't been to bed so carly since 
as fuckin’ exhausted." 


ter of eleven, I'm in| 


"The Digger sighed. "One o'clock inna 
morning. Right on the dot. I'm awaki 


I'm burning up. Big white blisters on 
my arms. 1 got a couple on my neck. My 
face is on fire. Scalps on five, Now 1 


know why them guysre running around. 
onna course in the carts under the awn- 
ings. 1 got а Charley home in my leg. 
Goes on and off. This tremendous pain 
in the left arm. 1 don't know what it's 
from. My stomach [eels fuckin’ awful. 
My head's still all full of air, only now I 
got this I headache like 
1 never ak, 1 stink so 
bad 1 can’t stand the smell. Then all of 
a sudden, the pain m, it’s the 
heart att h in one d 
Tm havin’ a fuckin heart аца 
I'm gonna die. Oh, Jesus. 

“Then I det this tremendous fart. I 
could've blown myself outa bed, all that 
beer, and it stinks to high fuckin 
heaven. Fm sicker'n 1 was before, it 
stinks so bad. 1 got to get up. 1 got to 
throw up. 

“I go inna bathroom,” the Digger 
suid, “I heave and I heave and 1 heave. 
The roast beef 1 had for dimer, the 
sandwiches, things I didn't even cat, 1 
heave. Then 1 throw up bile, dry-heave 
Tor probably about three days. My 
spine's coming up any minute. 

inally 1 stop. Terrible taste in my 
mouth, 1 have а drink of water and 1 
brush my teeth. ‘The water tastes good. 
I had three glasses. Mak 
Back down, heave up all: 
heave some more. That time ] don't 
drink no water. 

“I get up," the Digger said 
a cat. | got to get some Coke or some- 
thing. Swe 
furlongs. ГШ go out into the bedroon 
and give the air conditioning a shot at 
that terrible stink inna bathroom and 
et room service bring me 
Col 


The bedroom was worse,” the Di 
said. “While I'm sleeping 1 probably 
been farting in there for about two 
hours, and the айз way behind catching 
up. E got ro get out of there, the air gets 
changed, or I'm gonna be sick again. 

“L thought,” the Digger sid, “I 
thought 1 was gonna have 10 beat up the 
bartender to get а Coke off him with no 
booze. I had three of them, he keeps 


looking at me. "Costs almost the same,’ 
he says, “sure you don't want a sticka 
rum in i? Î start to feel better, stom- 


ach's 


quieting down. АШ chat sugar, I 
threw up everything I owned, of course, 
sugar's the only thing keeping me ану 
Stomach’s working.” the Digger said. 
"now. the head. ] go out, find a drug 
store. Beautiful night. cold, dear. The 


air really feels good on the face, you 
know? Different Irom inside. Inside 
smells like old ladies. I find a drugstore. 


Two Аа ее. 
halfway hun 
back the hotel 


Fm starting to feel 
an again. Im gonna go 
nd go to bed. 


You gota go through the casino to 
go to bed.” the Digger siid. "You died 
in that place, they'd have to carry you 
out through the gambling. Nobody'd 
d. They wouldn't even see you 

feel great," the Digger sa ome 
off a bender like that, always feel great, 
the head's clear, nothing in the gut, be- 
ides, you feel good after you feel lousy, 
feeling good feels even better. right? 
You appreciate it. Anyway. now I dont 


want to go to bed. Room needs time 
to air out, anyway. PI play a lite 
blackjack. 


"That was a great fuckin’ idea,” the 
Digger said. “Right up thee with Jack 
Kennedy goin’ down to Dallas, sce how 
щуте goi 
“I pull up a stool at the high stakes.” 
the Digger said. “I pull out the roll 
which Sonny Sieber's nice enough to 
get for me. Girl starts dealing the cards. 
Barmaid comes along, would I like a 
drink. Sure. I get a very tall screwd 
Playing along, ten bucks a hand, stay 
about even. girl keeps bringing screw- 
drivers, 1 keep drinking them, tipping 
her with chips, and I stay and I stay and. 
I say. This new dealer comes on. Nice 
set of boobs, nothing like the monsters 
inna bar, but she's about thirty, they're 
cranked up nice and high there, I can 
look at them as long as T play. 1 play. I 
tip the barmaid a few more chips. All of 
ı sudden, daylight. 1 had about 
hy dollars’ worth of screwdrivers, if 
you count what 1 tip the broad for 
them, probably a pint and a half of 
vodka in me, no food, and I'm losing. 

“Jesus Christ, am I losing,” the Digger 
said. “I'm in a panic. I go up to twenty 
got to get it all back. Sox don't play be 
fore we leave, no way 1 can get it back 
oll them. Girl with the nice boobs leaves 


and this other one comes on, got а 
mouth she got in a store, very mean 
mouth. Deals just as fast, and 1 can't 
buy a hand. 


“L think it’s about eight in the morn 


ing” the Digger said, "MikeyMike 
comes in, been out getting laid, three 
hundred bucks and they kept him leap- 


ing around all night and he's all shot. 
Sot as bad ay me, though. Comes up. 
ys "Digger. Jesus, you don't look so 
good. What happened, your face? You 
heen up all night 
That finally makes me get up.” the 
Digger said. "See, you want to talk to 
somebody. you gotta get up and leave 
the place, somebody else cin lose his 
shirt. Mikey-Mike says: "You look down, 
You lose the five you win, right? 
‘L hope you didn't go around 
ning no more things. 1 pull 
out the paper. ‘How much, Dig? 1 don't 
know. I can't even tell him. He stops 
ight there, we're middle of the 
casino and all these dead. people're pla 
ing the machines and stuff, inna corne 
somebody jackpots and the lights're 
flashing and everybody goes wi 


ther 


whoop, whoop, and he counts 
stand there. "Thirteen, Dig. that indude 
the five” Uh-uh.” 

“What the fud 
said. 

“Look,” the Digger said, “I couldn't 
kill myself, all them cocksuckers around, 
they wouldn'tve paid no attention. 
Don't do me no good. cat the paper. АН 
1 gor's copies. I'm sick and Fm drunk 
the second. time a day and I don't 
have nothing on my stomach, 1 just look 
at him. He says: ‘Come on. Dig, time to 
чо home. 1 slept all morning and they 
got me up and load me on the plane 
and 1 slept on the plane and we get 
home, I go down to Mondo's there and 
L have breakfast and coffee and I come 
home, sleep about ten more hours. get 
up and 1 said 10 mysell: ‘Al right, pro- 
fessional fuckin’ dumb shit, you're ima 
jam. You been inna jam before, you got 
out. Lers see how we get out ol this 
one 

“Га be interested то hi 
come up with," the Greck said. "You got 


the Greek 


"d you do? 


what you 


a lide problem here. It isn’t like I 
don't understand and all. but still, 
Diss da 


“Whaddaya mean, I got a problem?" 
the Digger said. “This this's Tuesday. 
Friday I got a problem. J got two days 
before I got a problem.” 

“Friday you got two weeks of prob 
lem,” the Greek said. 
no special consideratio 


1 can't give you 
Dig, you know 
thar, but, well, Fm not nailing you no 
vig for last week, today. Friday, Friday 
you owe for two." 

“Uh-uh,” the I 
That's your tou 


3 ите lite. 
h shit. L was right here 


Friday. Nobody come around, see me 
about no paper. You c't sit there, tell 
me, you don't come around, Fm sup- 


posed to send a check ло somebody, E 
don't even know who's got the paper. is 
that it? None of that shit.” 

“Dig,” the Greek said, “Friday you 
owed the money the hotel.” 


"Right" the Digger said. "Way 
things're going, this week, too, most 
likely. But 1 didnt owe it to yon Last 


Friday, because if 1 did, you would've 
been around. I don't see the hotel h 
round, lll de lı them. 
e lor last week 


l w 


no j 


the Greek said, “fair, OK? You 
lost the money. You don't pay the 
money, you pay the vig. 1 got to pay 
the vig, you gotta рау the vig me. That's 


the way it is.” 

“Greek,” the Digger said, “you're a 
nice guy, I like you and you 
treated me all right. 1 don't, | 
blame you for nothing 

“Im glad to hear you say that,” the 
Greek said. “I always thought, 1 was 
ying— 
But you're a fuckin’ liar,” the Dig- 
ger said. "You being an okl buddy and 
all, I don't like to say it, but it's God's 


alway: 
don't 


honest uth. Youre a fuckin' liar and 
that's all there is t0 it." 

Dig" the Greek said, “I hope were 
not gonna have trouble here, all these 


years, account a simple matter of 
business." 
“Me fuckin’ too," the Digger said. 


“But you don't owe uo vig the hotel, 
and I know it, because I checked up on 
it and I know. You don't owe no vig the 
hotel. There's just one thing you gotta 
do: You gotta front the money back. 
That's all. They stand you thirtysixty 
ninety, just like you went into Kenne 
dys and bought a fuckin’ suit. There 
ain't no vig, the hotel. 1 checked it. So 
don't g o more of that shit 
“Yeah?” the Greek said. "And where 
the fuck I get the money, the hotel? You 
want to tell me tha? TI tell you. 1 get 
it, my business's where 1 get it. 1 gotta 
ig on dough 1 don't collec, 1 gotta 
pay ош. 1 don't care what anybody told 
vou, 1 gotta pay owa my regular cash. 
Who told yo 
“This angel" the D 
to me in a fuckin’ dream. The fuck do 1 
care, problems you got in your business? 
I got problems, my business, too. 1 come 
around and tell you, no dough this 
week, I got business things? No. Guys 
forget, ring up the beer, drivers leave 
nineteen cases, charge twenty. 1 don't 
come bitching to you. The vig starts 


nme 


er said. "come 


TAPE ontv 


when the paper's onna deck, Not before 
You got some kinda problem with the 
hotel, thats between 1 them. 
Nothing 10 do with m 

“Dig,” the Gr ht this mi 
ute, today, you owe me six hund 
lay. To ‚ twelve. Six 


you 


ed. 


ghteen today, twelve and eighteen 
Friday. Now. how you gonna pay, or am 
1 gonna have a problem with you? 


“Six?” the Digger lore shit 
What's this six?” 

"I'm doing you a favor," the Greek 

id. "Six is low 

"You think Fm a fuckin’ chump, 
Greek,” the Digger said. “1 dunno as х 


go lor Ша. You think you're gon 


whack me six on eighteen and I'm 
gonna sit still for a screwing like that, 


Yum just gonna fucki 
me? You know who you're talking to? 
ШҮ take your fuckin’ head olf 
and serve it on a fuckin’ platter to my 
fuckin’ dog is what Tm gonna do, and 
1 haven't even got a fuckin dog. I'm 
gonna have to go out and buy one, and 
I will. too, Greek, you know me, you 
пом. 
“You're gonna juice me 
points а week on eighteen 
suid. “You know the fuckin 
two over five hundred. You know that 
You're throwing shit at me. You come in 


Y let you do it to 


nn 


over hree 
` ıhe Diggs 
about 


rate’ 


“I think well try the ‘chef's surprise. " 


183 


PLAYBOY 


184 


g for money, I'm willing to 
1 didn't think you're 


here loo 
give vou money, 


the Greek said. 


“This is no shit, Dig.” 


ou better change some thing 
then,” the Digger said, "some of the way 
you're 1 Nobody shits mc and 
lives. Nobody shits the Digger 


“Friday,” the Gr 
back here. Twelve big ones from you, 
nd 1 see you the nest one. Otherwise, 
eighteen and six big ones now 
Greek,” the Digger said, "Friday ГШ 
be here. You get eighteen and six big 
ones, or you get six big ones and you see 
me again the next one. But there is no 
way inna fuckin’ world you see twelve 
big ones Friday. No way inna world." 
“You're pushing me,” the Greck said. 
"p run a busines. You know that. The 
juices six. It's the normal. You signed 
the fuckin’ papers. You pay the fuckin’ 
Everybody gets treated the same 
Everybody that that 
know he's being shined and can 
something about it,” the Digger said. 
know, see, that’s the difference, and 1 
can do something about it, 100, Try me 
out, Greek. I'm not one of your dumb 


id. "I'm coming 


don't 
do 


don't, 


shits, and you think I am, you think 1 
changed, this oughta be fun after all." 

"Um not onna fuckin’ argue with. 

" the Greek s iday Г come in 

the twelve. You haven't got the 

fuckin’ eighteen and ! know it. Maybe 


then youll be ready. talk sense, 1 got 
some work I could put your way. Maybe 
Dien this thing out 
“PI be here,” the Digger said. "Come 
- 1 think now I'm looking forward to 


we can str 


“Marty, look.” 
it in The Saratoga Club, members 
only. It was a long. narrow room on the 
second floor of a threestory building 
near the North Station. Jt was open at 

5 AM. 

Marty Jay had heavy jowls and fat 
cheeks; his eyes were large. almost bulg 
ing. He had very little hair. From timc 
he wiped his skull with a 
roonsilk handkerchief and the hı 
stood up in swirls. 

“I seen the Greek to the Digger 
1 went to work. the 
The Greek's got the 


w 


time, wi 


tek come 
paper." 
“Huh,” he 
Bloom for d 
like somet 
doin, 
“It was Bloom,” 
“things'd be differ 
It’s the Greek.” 
“I wonder how come the Greek," the 
at man said, “Richie's gor that. He's got 
some piano player im there, but it's 
Riduc's. He never had no respect for 
the Greek. Well, OK. What's the Creek 
wont 


Tat man said, “1 figured 
оре . Looked to пи 
g Bloom'd be interested 


ration 


the Digger said, 
nt. Tt ain't Bloom. 


ix on cighteen,” 


"From you il 
fuckin'credible. 
poims, and you cut 
right on cighte 
you four. He's crazy." 
at's the Gree 
“Small shit” 


shittin’ me,” 


"the Digger 
the fat man 


the Digger said. 
the 


t man said. 
nts that? In- 


e a week, three 
down. 
You, he oughta go 


e is 


aid. 


АГ 


aid. 


ways was. I wonder why the fuck Richie 


gets the Grecl 
Greek 

You know somethi 
Xo." the Di 
“Things 
with the shys, Mr. 


said. “You 
people off tonight." 
“Mr. Gre 
Апата," the 
dead 


lat man 


эһ,” 
I agree with you 
"Fuckin guys, 
only thing they w 
init paper. 
they're de 


this 


ng 


» he doi 
you. E 
result 
c 
quiet and nice. 

“Look,” the 


tu 
somebody's 
this. 


ow! 


the f 
t. g 
Go chargi 


Digger 


1 would 
with a pole if 1 was diownin’, 


d 
that, ends up. you got the Greek doing 


gonna 
Nobody gets hur 
en's running things, th 
Shit.” 
said, 


all fucked up in thi 


man 
et their name 


derstand. 


"t touch the 


town 


ot a thing, you're dropping 


`$ doing twenty down to 
said. " 
t's close enough.” 

the Digger said, “well, and that, 


TE that a 


aid, “the 


nd 


round 
heyre 


de 


Lemme tell 
get hurt, 
Mr. 
шуге always 


"pm not 


gonna keep on payin! the Greek no six. 


shit. 


the fat man said, 


“se Bloom. 


Bloom'll usc you all right. Bloonrs fair.’ 
said, 


y Bloom four 


get thirteen, 


“Don't make no waves, 


“You 
down 


man siid. 


somebody's 


star 


thought you're т 
tired 


1 making 


Ail: 


Thingsre tno hot 


«1. Better 
You 


but then I 
ighteen, But 


wipe it up. 1 got hve, I gotta 


Dig." the fat 
waves, 
а. You, I 


stay 


те liable, 


somebody else's gonna go down Atlanta, 


you stir them bastards 
“Marty,” the Digger 
thing for Micke 


" You 
“1 told you. 

“1 need dough. I dic 

from you, Marty.” 
“True,” the 


Marty.” 


up." 


said, 


unre 


In't 


* dhe fat n 
"Not the Digger” 


the Digger s 
hear 


fac man said. 


"T did some- 


aid. "I 


1 say, 


ed” 


notl 


Xf course, 


you gotta keep in mind, 1 didn't know 
you're int That kinda миъ 
sort of ош of ne, too. Although, 
I hear what gets. I think, I 


thought about. maybe 
и” 
“What'd 
id. 
"Hey," 
here this night. 
with the world, 
clouted him ıl 
"Right" the Digge 
“Construction comp 


the fat man 
tells 
all 


Mickey g 


irty che 


ret? 


said, 


me 


right. 


cks, 


said. 


ny," 


wing back into 


the Digger 
“Mickey's in 
hes satisfied 
d you 


the fat man 


said, nodding y we that account, 
payrolls. Also, credit ra nety K in 
that account, ex угой come 
jn, put in what they think they're gonna 
need, runs about a hundred. and thirty 
K. So, they meer tl roll, and any 


body calls up the bank, says: ‘Am 1 


ра 


gonna get paid, my rock wool the 
bank's gonna say: ‘Sure, baby, you and 


a world.’ Only th 
wrong. The payroll’s 
That's Mickey's. 


everybody else in 
week, the bank's 
ninety thou heavie 


“Jesus,” the Digger said, "that's beau- 
tiful. How's he know? 

"Broad in n said. 
“That guy, he must fuck them into 
blindness, things they do for him 


"Course, he don't screw you inna bed, at 
least. you done all right [or him, too. 
He's gonna run about five K, expenses, 
on ninety, he's Fat City and. everybody 
else's full of shit. You included. 

“shit.” the Digger said. 

“Don't cost no more," the [at man 


fou got any- 


the fat 
I turn it down 
Too fuckin’ risky. Nobody experienced 
10 go along. Now I hear about it agai 
Don't sound so risky, 1 had some help. 
The fuck is it?" the Digger said 
“What the fuck," the fat man. 
ird take a guy and a guy, and a guy 
and a car, and they'd all have to be 
good guys." 
“Thats two plus us," 
“I can set the two.” 
"And a car," the man said. “The 
vest of it, there's some other things. 1 can 
take care of them. A kid and some stuff.” 
What's it worth?” the Digger s 

ТАП in all" he dat 
would say, a hundred and ten 

“Tell me how for 
Digger said 
I gor trouble with the physical.” the 
fat man said. “The guy and the guy and 
the саг, you pay them out of yours.” 
Right,” the Digger said 
Down the middle,” the fat man said. 
qus 1 : 

“Fifty-five,” 
“Plus the guy, and the guy with the 
the Fat man said. 

Must be pretty rough,” 


the Digger said. 


d, 


much me," the 


the Digger 


Not for the right guys,” the fat man 
Look, e Y's мш з smoother 
t hooked, straight B and E 
gh. MIL Ei nde at people around. It’s 
got some problems.” 
“Fifty-five,” the Digger said, 

or the right guys,” the fat man said. 
1 tell you what,” the Digger said, 
“Lm gonna talk to a guy. I think 1 know 
another guy, got a car.” 


said. 


This 


is 10 


In the doorway of The Regent 
Sportsmen's Club, the Greek said: 
“Where the fuck is Y. A. 7 


“Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen. . . . 


id, "who?" 

id. He shut the 
door. 
used to do some wor 


ч 
Where the fuck is he, still in bed? À 

oughta be able to be around by noon, 
good night's sleep. even if he does have 
a lot to do belore he finally goes to 


Schabb said. "Called me 
‚ said he wouldn't be im, 
ing up a deal down 


up last nigh 

couple daysr so. Li 

there." 
Broads,” 


id. “Richie 
n his life. He's 


the Greek 


down there getting laid. 
Schabb said, “guy called him, 
really looks good. We need it. too. com- 
pete. The other outfits, they got Cura- 
qio and . Those're good items, 
you get the carriage trade with them, 
not just the hackers you get with Vegas 
and Freeport. Aruba, too. Richie's going 
to fly down thi i 

KLM, they pr 
people imo Arub: 
tiful,” the Greek said, "fuck 
beautiful. He'll fuck himself out. down 
there. At my expense. I'm buying the 
ard a third of ten pieces of ass 
tan he'll use to get more ass up here. 
losing my grip. I didn't use to be such 
an asshole." 

"Look," Schabb said, "what difference 
it make? He said ird be worth the ride 
to look into this. I agree with him. 1 
don't care if he gets laid. Nothing wrong 


with getting lud. We didn't think i'd 
bother you." 

“My friend," the Greek said, “I'm up 
here working for a living. 1 got prob- 
lems, which | got from the last great 
idea you two guys had, He's down in the 
sun, goofing off, Im paying for it 
Who's tending to business, we don't all 
go to shit? 

“Look 
probler 

The Digger," the Greek said, "just 
like I said. 1 was over there y 
that tony joint he runs for hard guy 
practically told me: Go fuck mysell 

“Не won't pay?" Schabb said. 

“He'll pay,” the Greek said. "Said he’ 
gonna pay, anyway. Gonna pay F 
“1 still do 


Schabb said, "what's the 


week," 
he can get better'n the three points I 
him. Some stupid shit put it out we 
don't have to pay juice, the hotel. So, I 
get screwed the first weck, I get screwed 
the price on this week, it's getting out 
all over Im high оппа rate, and then 
the son of a bitch practically tells me: 
Go fuck myself. I think he did tell me, 
o fuck myself. And you cam bet, he's 
gonna mention that around town a few 
times, told the Greek to go fuck him- 
self.” 

“So what?” Schabb said. “What the 
hell you care what he say? We’ 
ting the money. "Thats what 
after 


got a regular business,” the Greck 
said. “I got money out from here to 
Worcester. The way I do busines, 1 


n 
poin 
know th 
Now, thi 
your godda: 


money having money out at good 
s. I get them points because people 
Greek don't fuck around. 
s to you and Richie and 
ned fuckin’ bright ideas, 
I got this fat shit down to Dorchester 
running around telling people Im 
1. I scare, and go ahead, just tell the 
reek, go fuck That kind of 
thing, I came into this to get more bu 
ness, I didn’t come into this, get a lot of 
shit stuck on me, fuck up my old busi 
ness. 1 was after easy dough 


Well" Schabb said, "there's all that 
other stuff. You must be doing all right 
on that." 

“I am," the Greek said. “The Jewish 


paper, fing, no sweat, Th 
for six points, they pay s 
out a fuckin’ whimper. 11 
h them guys. How'd you get 


m guys go in 
points with 
d 


g busi 


ness wi 
them?" 

"When I was selling stock," Schabb 
d, "I had a little red book. It had 
good names to call, when 1 wanted 10 
move a Inge lot fast. Interested, and the 
money right there. Then, when 1 
had a good deal or something I knew 
about, I would also call one or two of 
them. I want to tell you, Greek, 1 had 
one or two ers on calls | 
1 appreciative client, bo 
ihe Greck said, "you must 
dle, telling guys when to buy 
and then they make a mint and you get 
a dinner.” 


ET id, “the wa 
are, it's not when to buy. Any jerk can 
tell you when to buy: Buy when it's low. 
It's when to sell. When it's not going 
higher. That's what I knew, and tha 
what I told them. Those dinnersre 


185 


PLAYBOY 


186 


Paris, and there's six or seven of them, 
d they're all at Maxim's, get it? You 
check in at Pan Am, you don't pay for 
anything. The girl that’s with you, your 
wife ever saw you, you'd be in serious 
trouble. On the way back, she gets off in 
New York. You never see her again, You 
don't pay her anything, cither. You go 
down to Miami Beach, you stay at the 
Doral and you play golf. You don't pay 
for that either. When 1 went to dinner 
around here, I went in a Cad, and I 
didn't pay for the Cad any more'n I 
paid for the dinners, There're dinners, 
Greek, and then there're dinners. 1t all 
depends where the dinner is, hack it? 
Оһ," the Greek said. 

“I didn't get in the shit because I was 
cooked,” Schabb said. "I got in the shit 
because a guy that told me when the 
stull wa 


at the top, the guy that was 
making it go in the first place, got him- 
self in the shit with the SEC. He was 


very tough, that guy. The minute they 


grabbed him, he squawked like a 
chicken, Im опе of the guys he 
squawked about, They didn’t even prose- 


cute him, just us. Bastard. 
“1 was wondering," the Greek said. 
"Look," Schabb said. “L was no more 
crooked'n anybody eke. I was good and 
crooked. I just thought Mr. Соога st 
clear. and he d and | guess I 
thought if he ever got caught, he'd keep 
his mouth shut, and he didn't. So. I took 
it right on the chin, and when I did, I 
took that little red book with me. ‘Those 
suysre reliable. They always pay. I's 
probably а good thing the bank examin- 
сїз aren't mound 100 soon alter they 
у, too soon, anyway, because I've got 
just the slightest idea it's somebody clse's 
money they're paying with. But you 
give one of them bastards a pen and a 


phone and the market open, you'll al- 
ways get your money, and right off. / 
month ater, he'll have that ih 


smoothed over so fine nobody'd ever be 
ible to pick it up. You got honest 
money on that paper.” 

“Pure gold," the Greek said, 
hundred and eighteen. thou. out in 
a week, two at the most, straight juice, a 
flat six K at least and we never loaned 
them guys a fuckin’ cent. That is my 
idea, a tit" 


“How about my other friends?" 
Sutabb said. "How you doing with 
them?” 


The Protestants,” the Greek said. 
Very few of them," Schabb 
е, maybe, but very few. 

] of them think they are," the 
Greek said. “Professional guys. Guy like 
that, starts in oma high living, he's gen- 
erally good lor about thirty-five K a 
yeu, got the house and the car and 
wears four hundred worth of knits and 
а twenny dollar tie and he's getting his 
hair styled. Once they get that old razor 
cut, they think they know fuckin’ every- 
thing. And boats, big onna boats.” 


said. 


“Sol 


"Those're the ones," Schabb said. 
ht,” the Greek said. "I meet a lit- 
Ue resistance, that kind of guy. He's got 
а house, OK, it's got a morigage, hi 
been paying the mortgage awhile, he’s 
тип it down some, the house went up a 
lot. He don't have no dough he can get 
his hands on, but he's got the equity, 
you know?’ 
“Regular margin accounts," Schabb 
said, "that's where I got them. They call 
up and buy eight K, then they want the 
certificate fast. They're hocking it, Very 


itle actual cash, Credit up the yin- 


Sure" the Greek said. "I got a regu 
Jar side line in that guy. T: 
honcy down to Puerto Rico, don't want 
the wile seeing по canceled checks. OK, 
he's into me for a grand, he pays it back. 
They gov il. The thing is, you goui 
kinda pry it of them, gona make him 
understand, he's gambling, OK. he got 
nothing for something. They're not used 
to that. Used to seeing something back 
for two or three К. New boat, god- 
damned station wagon, three. weeks in 
поре. Cards, he already secu the 
cards, dealer had twenty, he had nine- 
teen, they don't want to remember that. 
Didn't happen. 1 goua convince them it 
е. Gotta call at the office, 

ghten the little honey, call the house, 
seme the wife, you heard me onna 
phone, you'd think 1 had something 
wrong with the throat. ‘Where is he? 1 
call him the olfice, he ain't there. 1 call 
him the house, he ain't there. He lives 
. tha I understood he's 
ible citizen, owes 
1 cul me 


some 


They 


a respec 
moncy. Beuer have h 
always call. Sooner or later, they call. 
They get used to the idea, they gotta 


pay. They go out, first they talk the wife 
down, Christ , Fm gonna kill them. 
Then they hock the Master Charge and 
the stock and the insurance and they 
meet me and they pay off the whole nut. 
Them guys don't haggle. They pay the 
тїнє. Just takes а little time, get them 
used to it. I'm doing all right with 
them.” 

"5o," Schabb 
make oll my friends: 
our-lour out," the Greek said, “five 
points a man, out by Labor Day. Eight, 
e K. 

And you're still bitching,” Schabb 


id, “how much 


we 


id. “We're making out all over the 
ad you're bitching. There's 
bout you, Greck, Im never 

going 10 understand.” 

“Mr. Schabb," the Gre ‚ “that 

wraps it all up. L sk you а pei 


sonal favor, all 
Richie that, OK? You 
whole of it, right fucki 


tell 
the 


You 
just 
there. 


just 
aid 


"Harrington 
you doin’ on tl 


the Digger said, "how 
t boat of yours, you get- 


ting anywhere 


ington said, “everybody 
world, it's Friday night, they 
t gota go 10 work tomorrow. 1 
Бона go to work tomorrow, no Saturday 
for Harrington. You know why 0 
Because I gota, that's w 
me alone, all right, Di 
couple beers, just like it was Friday 
night for me, too. No guy that’s gotta 
work six days a week to make the pay- 
ments on what he’s got is gonna sec a 
boat he hasn't got already. I wished to 
God 1 never sold the 1 used to 
have." 

"I know something you could do, d 
get you the down payment onna boat," 
the Digger said. 

“Yeah?” Harrington said. "And then 
what about them others, ] gotta stop 


ig? Lemme have a 


going down to Saint Hilary's for my 
laughs every Sunday, hear what the 


Portugee's got to say this week about 
them poor unfortunate. thieving Puerto 
Ricans that havent got no money. 1 can 
work Sundays, too.” 

"Well" the Digger said. “you played 
your cards right, might not be all that 
many of them, you know? You oughia 
be able to get a preity good boat for 
thirty-five hundred or so, you could pay 
for more'n half of it right oft." 

“Oh-oh,” Harrington said. “Excuse 
me. E think I'm gonna have to go home 
right about now. I рона go to work to- 
morrow, you know. ГЇЇ see you the first 
of the week, probably. FH come in for a 
beer, we can talk about how the Sox do 
Sunday.” 

The fuck's the matter with you 
Digger said. 

"Look" Harrington said, "E got 

nervous stomach. I come in h 


the 


а few 


days ago, your problem is, you're inna 
hole eighteen and juice. Now you're 
giving me, you're saying you got a way, 


1 can get about, what, two grand, 1 
do something you got in mind. You're 


talking about somebody else's money, 
1 think.” 
"How much you ma iı мес 


the Digger said. 
“None of your fuckin’ business," Har 
igron said. 

"Not enough for a boat, Шоц 
said. 

“Not enough for a wile 
nd a car and a house in Sa 
Harrington said. 


1.” the 


ıd three kids 
t Hilary's,” 

8 ot enough lor no 
lawyer, either, and it's a lot moren I'd 
get making license plates inna сап, too.” 

“Never mind the cam," the Digger 
said. 

“Right,” Han В 
do nothing that’s gonna get you ри 
into it, either, that's what I say. Lemme 
have another beer.” 

The Digger returned with H 
s beer. "You cau make two thou 
hours’ work," 
sure yon w: 
OK, I can get somebody 


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PLAYBOY 


188 


else. I'm tryin’ to do you a favor. You 
like working six days, you don’t want no 
boat, OK, be a shit, if you want, all your 
Ше. Just thought ГА give you the 
chance. Two grand for three hours.” 

“That's more'n t the Edison,” 
Harrington said. some beer, 
“The wouble told 
me, go out à 


get hurt,” the 
ng like that. You'd 
“OL course, 
while l'm driving it, the motor's run- 
g and Fm outside a bank and you 
ivre inside holding it up, and all the 
driving 1 got to do is get it in gear and 
make it go like a bastard and hope 1 
don't get shot. Like I said, I finish this 
beer, ГИ go home and say the Rosary 
with Father Manton оппа 
think, Got saved from the temptation, 
there.” 

"Look" the Digger said, “the only 
way you could shoot a guy on this job is, 
you'd have to bring a guy along to shoot 
HL ICL ever see a tit, Harrington, this 
heres a tit. 

What is it?" Harrington said. 

“Uh-uh,” the Digger said, “that’s not 
the way it goes. 1 make a rule. long time 
ago, L don't tell anybody what it is until 
fier he decides, he's in or not. You in 
Or now” 

How can L what do you think I'm 
gonna do; лоп said. "Sav I'm 
gonna do something, 1 don't even know 
what it is Fi a do? 1 done 
anything li before. e pity 
onna guy, Dig. tell me what I'm gonna 
do. [tell you I'm gonna do it." 

"Look," the Digger said, "week 
tonight, Labor Day weekend, 
pick me up and then 
you're gonna pick up two other gu 
wd you take us, about a twenny-minute 
the Digger said. “This is before 
midnight, About two hours later, some 
time id two in the mornin 
pick up. you pick us up and you drop 
us off. That's i 

“I finally get to bed Labor Day, I'm 
та have two thousand onna bureau 
1 didn't have when I get up?” 

“No.” the Digger said. “nobody's got 
the dough Monday. You'll have to wait 
a little bit.” 

“How long?" Harrington said. 

“Look,” the Digger said, "1 dunno, It 
can take a little time to get the dough 
one of these things. Inside a week or 
so, I guess. But I personally guarantee 
you, you get the dough 

"Yeah," Harrington said, “but maybe 
something happens to you. 1 still get the 
dough? I mean, where's that leave me? 

“Better of'n 1 am, somcthing's gonna 


neve 


from 
ight? 


drive 


ane 


you 


happen to me,” the Digger said. “Look, 
1 get hit by a truck, you haven't got 
vour dough, you do the best you can. 
You might get fucked." 

“Thats what 1 thought," Harrington 
"I don't know about thi: 
OK," the Digser said, 
Jm gonna take that, you 
terested. And one more thing: Forget 
you had this talk with me. right? 1 
wouldn't want to think you went out 
and told somebody anything." 

“L didn't mean that,” Harrington said. 

“You € guy." the Digger said, 
I like you. But you either ропа shit or 
get ofla the fuckin" pot is all, 1 haven't 
got time to wait around while you go 
this way and that and say, ‘Gee. Digger, 
gee. J like things to go right when I do 
somethi get everything all set up 
ahead of time, so everybody knows what 
he’s gotta do and what the other guysve 
goua do. So make up your fuckin’ 
nd." 


that's finc. 
not i 


"You know all you're gonna know u 
less you come in,” the Digger said. " 
told you as much as I'm gonna.’ 
gton said he would have 
mother beer. When the Digger brought 
. Harrington said: "Look, у gotta 
be something pretty big we're alter, two 
thousand for There's, how 
many of us 
"Probably four," the Digger said. 
“OK.” Harrington said, “four. I got 
probably the easiest thing to do. I'm get- 
ting the two, you said, you told me, it's 
gonna get you clear on the cighteen. 
Now, | figure, thats twenny thousand 
dollars, and them other guys, they're not 
g lor nothing. So there's gotta be 
a bit of money coming out of 


"Harrington," the Digger said, “the 
two is tops. Don't gimme none of tha 

shit, 1 can get five guys in ten minutes, 
do it for a grand. I'm being nice to you. 


Harrington said, “I didn't 
It’s just, this isn’t no bank or 
thing, is it 
Yo bank," the Digger said. 
“OK,” Harington 
bank, I'm in." 
Beautiful," the Di 
апке you, you'll never regret it, 
Now," Hartington said, finishing his 
"tell me if Fm wrong. It's jewelry, 
right? Goua be jewelry. Isn't anything 
else worth that kind of money, except 
money, four guys can move that Last. 
Isn't jewelry,” the Digger said 
“Look, you read the paper, what kinda 
ads you see paper this time of 


ON. 


o 


id. “L guar- 


I don't read them,” Harrington said. 
^m always giving the wife a whole 
bunch of money for stuff, kidsre going 
back to school and that, we gotta practi- 


cally buy out Zayre's 1 dunno. We're 
not stealing kids’ clothe 
Vo," the Digger said. "You oughta 
look at them ads better. All them : 
down the Beach, they think: This 
year | get the wife a mink stole. Them 
other guys can alford the minks, their 
wives already got a stole, wear to the su- 
permarket or someth want a 
nice chinchilla. So naturally, all them 
guys, sell furs, got the ads in. All over 
the place there's them trucks coming in 
with furs. And that is the real stuff, you 
know: That stuff moves, Were gonn: 
get ourselves a trailer load." 

“We got a buyer?" Harrington. said. 

“Well,” the Digger said, "the less you 
know, the better off you are, but he's 
also the guy, vou go back far enough 
d you look at everything and all, that 
мете stealing the furs fom. He knows 
we're stealing them.” 

Ah." Harrington said, “insurance.” 

Yeah,” the Digger said. “See what 1 
mean, this’s a tit? Were stealing insur 
ance. See what T mean, safe?" 

“Beautiful.” Harrington said. 

“You bet," the Digger said. "We take 
them furs out of the place that the guy 
owns, and we turn them over to а guy 
is another place. and the guy that 
owns the other place is gonna sell them 

guy howls like a bastard, all 
his fursre gone. Then he's gonna get 
surance, and he keeps his stock up. 
buy from the guy we sell to. 
He's gonna buy his own stuff from the 
guy we sold it to, with the insurance 
money. Nice, hul 

“Jesus,” Harrington said, "Fd rather 
know him'n you. He's doing bener, any 
of us" 

“You see the Super Bow 
iid. 

“Yeah.” Harrington said. “Shitty game, 
1 thought. Baltimore. 


the Digger 


“Onna field goa the Digger said. 
“Last-minute fuckin’ field goal, 1 
The guy that owns the stuff.” the 


"he missed the spread on 
ї field goal Сом him one hundred 


thousand dollars. He's been paying juice 
long time. He's through. He's get 
ting even.” 


had a whole lot gs on his mind." 


“IL know, I know,” Torrey said. “I got 
one this morning, 1 was abso- 
lutely beat. 1 actually, on 


up. 
de heavy, but 1 look 
idn't mind, you k 
I would've invited her up for a di 
Not this trip. 1 was so tired all T w 
10 do was sleep 

"Well" Schabb said, “the Greek э: 
Fight about that one, anyway. He said 
you'd fuck yourself out down there 

“The Greek, the Greek,” Torrey said 
That don't make me tired. 1 been onna 


there's th 


her over 


ted 


“I call it ‘foreplay. 


189 


PLAYBOY 


190 


steady jump for almost a week. You see 
a guy and you talk to him. Then you sce 
somebody сїзє. Looks like a pretty good 
deal, but first you better check and sce 
what this other guy can do. You're mak- 
ing calls, it's this and that, you got to fly 
all over the place on these dinky little 
planes that scare the living shit out of 
you. It comes right out of you 
screwing’s not as good th 
he 
"Keep that qu 
plan to say somet 
though saying someth 
difference. 
“Shit,” Torrey said, “tell them there's 
an ocean full of mermaids down there, 
you want. TheyH have a better time 
gettin’ screwed’n I had setting up the 
screwing, no matter what you tell them. 
hen I get home, I take a couple aspi- 
rin, practically [all on my face I'm so 
drunk, I drink like a bastard оппа 
plane, only way I can stop myself from 
jumping out, and then bang. sis-thirty, 
the phone rings. It's the Greek. That 
fuckin’ guy. he was probably in bed be- 
fore it’s dark last night.” 
le didn't go for the trip," Schabb 
That was one thing that bothered 


" Schabb 


said. "I 
g else, it looks as 
ng else'd make a 


said. 
him." 

"p know,” Torrey said. "And the 
Digger paid him out and pissed on his 
shoe for him, and now it’s thi 
that fuckin’ guy. That fuckin 
turnin’ into r fuckin’ 
the ass.” 

"What the 
him?" Schabb s 
when he started 
suits him 

"He's got two things the matter with 
him," Torrey said. "He lost his nerve, 
That's the fuse thing. Then he gets 
greedy. All at once. He diddles along for 
twenny y th this pissy-ass little 
tion of his. Then he gets this. 
He starts counting his dough from this, 
and he likes that all right, but he's still 
the diddly shit he gets from the 


pain in 


hell's 


with 


the matter. 
id. “He w: 
Now пой 


g you do 


other.” 


“Thats his regular business" Schabb 


two hundred guys, five bucks 
apiece, six back on payday. The really 
hig stickers go for twenny, twenny-four 
back. Chickenshit six for five, week after 
fuckin’ we "s had about three K a 
week turning over there ever since the 
Korean War, and he takes out six big 
week. He don’t pay more 


oncs 


a 


two at the most, he's probably got his 
own dough in it now. Fifteen, sixteen, 
twenny ad 
he's loving it. He should've stayed at it. 
Nobody ever would've bothered him. 
He was small shit and he was happy 


being small shit. He could've joined the 
fuckin’ chamber of commerce. 

“Then the fuckin’ strike force gets 
Mr. Green,” Torrey said. "I still say it's 
a bad rap. conspiracy to, for gambling, 
Shit. Mr. Green never touched no gam- 
bling in his life, Strictly money. He 
wouldn't know a horse from a fuck 
beagle, lor Christ sake. He looked like a 
fuckin' minister or something. That guy 

big. He probably had, I would sty 
he probably had two or three million 


id, "checks made out 
sets back from the heavy 
trade, two mill at least. I bet I'm low. 
He was thinking about taking this, his 
cases on appeal and he decides it's 
bly not worth the risk. But he 
hot for it, anyway. Too small 
Mr. Green. this thing. 

We can generate five thousand dol- 
lors a week in points on this,” Schabb 
said. 

He figured that," Torrey said. "Mat- 
ter of fact, he thought it might go ten, 


to cash he 


even more. ‘But it's spread all over the 
place,” he says. ‘I got to have guys run- 
ning around. And this thing Гуе gor, it 


could be problems. 1 tell you, lemme 
think about it. I'll give it to somebody 
for a while, this thing gets settled. 1 trip 
over something, 1 could get live or six 
years for this, 1 gotta be careful." 

“Yeah.” Torrey said, “well, they turn 
him down, appeal, and he's getting 
ready, do the five. Only, see, his lawyer 
didn’t tell him something, so he don't 
know, he thinks all he needs is some- 
body mind the store maybe two or three 
years. So he cops out, he says he can't 


beat it if he wies it, there's no way 
wound it, his great lawyer says, hell 
just end up getting more time if he docs. 


Only, they got this new thing, they can 
do before they try you, they got this, 
they say: "Organized crime.’ You know 
what that does? 
Schabb said. 
теу said. "Mr. Green didn't 
w, either. Well, they get you on 
year top, they can 
«К you thirty fuckin’ year 

Schabb said. 
1 they did it to him," ‘Torrey said. 
Thing comes up, one of them mother- 
fuckin’ micks up there, and they give 
him twenty years. His lawyer's standing 
. dumb grin on his face, the 
judge gives him the twenty. He says, 
ht inna courtroom, “Twenty years? 1 
r you right?’ The clerk says: "Twenty 
years, to be served" Mr. Green says: 
"You fuckin’ asshole,’ sec, he's talking to 
his lawyer. ‘The judge gives him another 
six months for contempt, on and after. 
Then the lawyer secs the judge after 
talks him out of the six months. But he's 
still doing twenty. 

“So now," Torrey said, 


something with a liv 
wh 


“Ah, 


now, they re- 


voke bail on him, and he's gonna appcal 
a ncompetence of counsel, but he's 
going away while they think that one 
over, he don't have no time, make а 
angements, nobody can see him except 
his famih ich he don't tell nothing 
10, and his fuckin' dumb yer, that 
he's all through talking to, he can't do 
nothing. So the other guys get together, 
they take Jese Bloom and the Greek 
and they just, they give Bloom the heavy 
stulf and they give the Greek me. "Take 
care of things awhile. Just take care of 
we figure something out. Don 
get no ideas it’s yours." 

“АП of a sudden," Torrey said, "all 
these years. Greek and Bloom're big 
league. Bloom, І think he would've made 
ir anyway. The Greek, no way, He's 
playing with more dough inna week, 
he’s used to seeing inna month. It threw 
him is all. He's got everybody all upset. 
He's treating major guys like they're 
into him for ten a week down the G. E 
People're getting calls: "The fuck is it 
with this guy, he's gonna piss his pants 
or something, somebody doesn't do 
something,’ And they stall around. And 
the Greek, he decides he needs some 
muscle up the Beach, he sends up a cou- 
ple guys and he don't set them straight, 
they beat up а wrong guy, doesn't owe 
the Greek money. And he happens to be 

guy, he's not into anything, but he 
knows who is, and he's a guy that, as a 
result, knows some guys to call. And he 
calls them. Aud they don't саге w 
- Green says, and they don't care 
what nobody else says it’s either the 
Greek gets taken off that stuff or they 
hit him. So he gets taken off, they take 
him off that and they give him some- 
thing а baby couldn't fuck up. 

"Mill," Torrey said, "you can't shine 
shit. Thiss what they give the Greek. 
They give him me. They give Bloom the 
heavy stuff, the way they sec it, they give 
me the Greek, See what happens. you 
got a nice thing up to Lynn and you 
t thi ing. you got your feet up 
onna desk someday and you think: "This 
could be all right? You get the word 
back, go ahead. expand, and then they 
tell you, you win the 

“Oh, no." Torrey 1 tell them 
that, That's what's the reason, nothing's 
moving up there, the word's out the 
k's got the old business and he's 
fuckin’ crazy. You gimme Bloom. M 
Green comes out, ГИ have а nice thing 
going here, I got a good man, help 
me, Mr. Green can leave Bloom this 
and Bloom won't bitch at all. Gimme 
Bloom’ But theyre not giving me 
Bloom. 

“1 go see the Greek,” Torrey said. “I 


hadda lot of trouble doing that, even. 1 
call him. I get his wife. She says: “He's 
not here! ] say: “Have him call me. 


Then I wait. He don't call. 
call him again. 1 get his wife. "He's out, 


he's not here.’ OK. I tell her: "Have him 
willya? Iv’s important! 1 
t call. 

"I know what he thinks," "Torrey 
“He thinks: “АШ them guys screaming 
and yelling, Richie's calling for the of- 
fice. Gonna take things away from me.’ 
I know that. He's not calling me because 
he don't wanna hear that. He's calling 
other guys, though, he's got time cnough 
for that, he gets them calls all right. 
He's telling them how good he's doing. 
he wants them to call me off. 7 nt 
them to call me oft. "They're all laugh 
at both of us. 


" Torrey said, "one of 
Greek, 


‘For Christ sa 
Шуа leave me alone, са 
willya? He don't want anything you got. 
It's something else. 
“He calls me,” Torrey said. “It’s like 
I'm uy collect a bill off him. You 
know where he picks, I'm supposed to 
meet him? Onn: front of city 
hall, lunchtime. 
"Look. Greek, you look to mc 
n that worried about somc- 
thing.” He says: 'I got a lot of 
out. I gotta be careful.” Careful, he s 
Sure, we're talking about bus 
front of the whole goddamned world, 
he's telling me about being careful, 
fuckin’ asshole. I say: ‘Greek, willya 
calm the fuck down? The office, they 
ing, I'm supposed to scc 
ss. The 


After that, E call th Torrey said. 
“I told them, this guy's gonna have а 
fuckin’ 1 He's footsteps. 
He's not gonna work out. I got a good 
thing here. He's gonna ruin it For 
Christ sake, gimme Bloom, put 
Greek back on six for Please. 
"UNO they cy said. 
Greek's my responsibility. He 
what they're doing, the Greek, keep him 
quiet, Mr. Green gets out, "Mr. Green's 
not getting our," I tell them. ‘He gets 
out, the Gi gonna fuck th up so 
by then, Mr. Green's gonna have to 
des, for Christ sake. Gimme 
st sake.” No, I gotta keep 
the Greck, Mr. Green's gonna get out, 
the Greek'll e this, everything's 
gonna be all right. I don't believe them, 
they don't believe me. No, 1 got the 
cek.” 
“Well,” Schabb said, "I don't know 
about them, but I believe you, Richie. 
That guy has g ci 
“Of course he ha: 
“Well, all right, . "Now. 
what it is, the Greek. From what you 
say, the only way he's comfortable is to 
have a lot of small-timers on the string. 
They don't interest us. If there's a. guy 
that wants to borrow five bucks for 
three days, and that’s what the Greek’s 
interested in, for God sake, let the 


the 


“Like, which head of the household do 
you want to talk to, man?” 


Greek have it and we'll work this. We 
can really get something going. IE the 
Greeks out, he's out, No hard feelings 
on my part, This may be a litle hard. 
From what you say. the Greek wants the 
- OK. let him bave it. Get him out of 
e ht to understand. tha 
s this thing's got. it's stu- 


pid to have the Greek in. 

“Thats what I tell them.” Torrey 
said. “That's exactly what 1 tell them 
It's stupid. 

“He could wreck it 
“Look, this’s important t0 me, you 
know? We oughta have a receptionist. 
We can get a good kid. eighty-five 
week, all right? No shorthand or any- 
thing, but what we need her for is to 
Tt makes a nie im 
both out of the of 


dL" Schabb said. 


answer the phe 
pressi 
lice. 


n. when w 
We can make t 
ation,” 
ure,” Torrey said. 
"We should get some rugs in her 
Schabb said. "A nice blue shag, sort of 
turquoise. The tile doesn't make it. 
ts a big tour lined up. 
you think TJ bring him up here? This 
looks like a boiler room. We need more 
spice. We should knock the wall out 
and go through. We should have private 
ollices We should have about si draw- 
binets. 
put in 


them?” 


You stick around.” Sehabb said. “I 
met a girl the other night. Works down 


irpori. For two bucks a copy. 


ping to get me a copy of every 
tional passenger manifest that 
па ad 
got the 


dough to fly out of the counuy 
expense ac 


Some of the 
counts.” Torrey 
“Because they're mal 
Schabb said. “That's why they're flying 
out of the country on expense accounts. 
Thats what we put in the files. This 
could be а blockbuser operation, wc 
La chance." 
xcept for the Greek fuckin 
id. 
агу the way E see it,” Schabb said 
ats the way you tell it to me, and I 
don't have any reason to argue with you 
iher. I really need this, Richie. I'm 
gs better than 1 got 
I'd like to see this tu 


v on 


(id. 


up” 


imo something. Richie.” Schabb said. 
"we goua do something about the 


Greek. 
“Well.” Torrey said, "there's only one 
thing you can do, make the Greek fit to 
live with.” 
“Which is?” Schabb 
“Lemme think awh 
“Lemme talk to some people, too. 


aid. 


This is the second of tice. install 
ments of “The Dig e" Рам HI 
of the novel will appear in the March 


issue, 


191 


192 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 
people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


SIGNS OF THE TIMES 
“The neon-sign business is dying,” claims 
lighting designer Rudi Stern. Actually, 
the situation is less severe; but with increasing 
frequency, outdoor advertisers are turning to 
other forms to get their messages across. So, 
to the rescue of what Stern calls “an art form 
that’s as much a part of us as our highway 
system” comes Let There Be Neon, a 
New York gallery at 451 West Broadway. 
Selling both antique and contemporary 
designs starting at $60, Stern has a deal on 
IRVING'S KOSHER DELICATESSEN. For you, $200. 


SOUTH AMERICA, TAKE THEM AWAY! 


Cruising the Amazon will take on new meaning this year, as 
Coltours—an offshoot of Colt Studio, publishers of photos and 
books featuring nude male models—sponsors an $850 for-men-only 
tour of Colombia and Brazil. The 19-day excursion, among four 
planned to different parts of the globe, leaves Miami February 

24 and, according to its brochure, will visit places of “special 
interest,” including Manaus, Brazil, where men outnumber 
women eight to one, and Rio during Carnival. Travel 
arrangements are being made by Hanns Ebensten Travel, Inc, 

at 55 West 42nd Street in Manhattan, which hastened to inform 
us that it's not a gay firm. To allay the fears of Nervous Nellies, 
Colt stresses that the natives “will be friendly." 


EINE KLEINE NACHTMUSIK 


No, we're not referring to che Mozart serenade 
but to a new Harold Princc-directed, Stephen 
(Company) Sondheim-scored musical, 

A Little Night Music. Based on the 

1957 Ingmar Bergman film Smiles of a 
Summer Night, which The New York Times 
described as “a tale of turn-of-the-century 
high-jinks at a Swedish chateau,” the musical, 
which opens on Broadway February 25, will 
star Glynis Johns, Len Cariou and Hermione 
Gingold. Musik, maestro! 


Fourteen hundred dollars per night for a Holiday Inn motel suite? 
And in Gaithersburg, Maryland? Man, it had better be fantastic! 
It is, right down to the gold-dolphin faucets. What you get are 
seven rooms, including three bedrooms and master bath, plus a 
library, conference room and office—all furnished and 

decorated at a cost close to $200,000. For that kind of money, 

you know it’s got some mighty fancy builtins; specifically, a 
six-footsquare sunken tub with whirlpool; cedat-lined sauna; 
marble fireplace; and, best of all, a $20,000 round master bed that 
rotates, tilts, vibrates and has stereo, TV and drapery controls 
built into the headboard, along with spigots for martinis, Scotch 
and bourbon. Oh, yes, the Holiday people also toss in limo 
Service at no extra charge. But who'd want to go out for a ride? 


SUPERLIBERAL EDUCATION 


Want to buy a Ph.D. for $100, with no 
questions asked? Try the Ireest free school 
we've ever heard of, Rochdale College in 
Toronto. Even though the Ph.D. stands for 
Phony Diploma, your bucks will go for a 
good cause—supporting a student-run 
experiment in communal living that at times 
seems crazier than a Marx Brothers movie 
shown in reverse. Rochdale's 18-story 
building houses, among other things, а 
photography workshop, medical clinic, 
drama group and printing house. All the 
info you want (and then some) is available 
from Rochdale, 341 Bloor Street West, 
"Toronto 181, Ontario. School's out—far out! 


GO FUR BROKE 


We don't expect to see Jackie Stewart at speed in one, but for 
the high-fashion car freaks, there now are his-and-hers fur- 
covered crash helmets. Created by designer Leo Cerruti, his is 
done in bushy silver fox; hers comes in nothing less than mink. 
Both are available at Cerruti CXIII on 55th Street in Manhattan. 
Better ask for a test drive—they go for $500 per hairy helmet. 


EARLY WARNING 


It's sold, says the advertis- 
ing, "to increase driver 
awareness.” Heh-heh. What 
the new, superpowerful de- 
tector called the Snooper real- 
ly does is beep a warning 
when you're within 3500 feet 
of police radar. The fiveinch- 
high unit, which easily 
E шаа PIG FETE 
or the dash, can either be If you're tired of the same old party fare, 
plugged into the car's ciga- Pfaelzer Brothers, the famous Chicago mail- 
rette lighter or hooked order meat firm at 4445 West District. 
up to the radio power lead. Boulevard, has added something ncw to its 
The price is $59.95 sent to gourmet line. Its an oven-ready suckling pig, 
Autotronics, Inc, Box 31433, 3 delivered to your door packed in dry ice and 
Dallas, Texas. Beep! complete down to roasting instructions and 
the traditional apple in its mouth. The porker 
is available in sizes from 12 to 30 pounds, 
at prices ranging from $55 to $100, postage 
paid. Order one for your next luau and watch 
your hungry guests cat high on the hog. 


SLOT STUFF 


If you recall our December 
feature on pinball machines, 
you might have been struck 
by their imaginative de- 
signs. Well, with the 
publication of the book Slot 
Machines: A Pictorial Re- 
view, 1889—1973, it can 
readily be seen that Yankee 
ingenuity—especially in the 
realm of coin gambling 
gadgetry—wasn't limited to 
the pinball. Slot Machines is 
available for $7.50 from 
author-illustrator David G. 
Christensen, 12601 N. E. 
Shoreland Drive, Mequon, 
Wisconsin. It's no lemon. 


193 


PLAYBOY 


194 


JAZZ & POP '73 (continua from page 116) 


weeklong workshop at New Orleans? 
Xavier Un 10 explore ways of en- 


couraging more use of black music in 
the Mass. 

In a Baptist church in Watts, mean- 
while, Aretha Franklin climaxed her 


career thus far with a stunning album 
for Atlantic, Amazing Grace, that was 
dearly the year’s most powerful soul 
stirrer. But, as Aretha says, soul musi 
not exclusionary: "White kids appreciate 
soul because they want honesty in their 
music and thats what soul is all about” 

For many white listeners, kids and 
older, soul music did. indeed. continue 
to be a vital. multicolored element of 
the wide world of rock—a music that 
kept on tr There 
was a lot of listening to the past, with 
k radio giving more time to “golden 
oldies” and rock-n'aoll revival concerts 
drawing large audiences from Holly- 
wood 10 New York. Yet another life in 
the limelight had been saved [or such 
as the Shirelles, Chubby Checker, Bill 
Haley and the Comets, Chuck Berry, 
and Bo Diddley. 

But there was also a т 
support for newer roc 
festivals—w' 


ication of 
nd the rock 
h seemed in danger of ex- 
а number of ugly mishaps 
hetore—came back 10 glowing 
alth. More than 900.000 of the 
young recalled the spirit of Woodstock, 
coming from as far as California and 
Florida to. camp on the Pocono Inter- 


nsyvania for 
communion with Three Dog 
‘aces; Emerson, Lake & Palme 


secular 
The month befor 


rousers 


[he spi 
in Dallas, rock went 
explicitly ious as Jesus move- 
ment drew 75,000 high school a 
college students to what no less 
e acter 
ed as “a religious Woodstock.” Indici- 
ive of the viewpoint of the bands 
id w roup called The Armaged- 
don Experience. Elsewhere in the coi 
try, festival audiences, its at Pocono 
Dallas, were notably nondestruc 
their exuberance, the shared vibr: 
generally excluding violence trips. 

Except, that is, lor some of the stops 
on the Tour of the Year—The Rolling 
Stones’ 30-city nc and July. 
There Tucson and 
Minneapolis, rock throwing in Vancou 
ver and a brawl between the police and 
Mick Jagger and Keith Richard in Prov- 
idence. But the over-all ambiance of 
the Stoni triumphant tour (500,000 
applied for tickets for three Madison 
Square Garden concerts) was ihat of 
loud joy. After ten years, the Stones had 
proved to be the most ruggedly endur- 
ing of the superstar rock groups. And, 
as John Cotter of the Associated. Press 
observed, although “they're nearing 


alari in 


gas in 


was t g 


their 30s, fathering children, the flash is 
still there.” 

Aside from the Stones proving their 
boss status, the other most marked phe- 
nomenon in rock during the year was an 
accelerating move by many groups and 
dividual performers toward what some 
critics call “vaudeville rock.” Don Heck- 
man, the New York Times resident 
rock commentator, noted: "Theatricality 
is the idea whose time has come for 
pop music this season. Theatricality in 
dr presentation and in 
attitude. 

Vivid, to say the least, illustrations of 
that point abounded—David Bowie; T- 
Rex; Emerson, Lake & Palmer; Alice 
Cooper John, the Night Tripper: 
and Rod Stewart. ‘The latter explained 
“There are a lot of colored guys who 
can sing me olf the stage. But half the 
battle c. not sing 
the - not what you sing. Ther 


lots of guys who could sing Jagger off 
the stage, but there a many who 


could blow him off when it comes to 
lookin’ at him." 

And so, shaking his silver sequ 
Rod Stewart tosses beer bottles 
kicks red soccer balls into the crowd 
David Bowie and his colleagues dye 
their hair us startling colors (the 
leaders is orange): Alice Cooper рет 
forms with a menacing 1H-foot boa con 

i nd Keith Emerson pitches 
imo his Moog synthesizer. AL 
though theatricality is hardly new to 
rock (witness Lite Richard, Jimi 
Hendrix and Peter Townshend), onc 
reason for the current intensification of 
bizarre visual effects, according to the 
Times, is the “paucity of new n 1 
inventiveness. 

‘The year, however, wasn't all that lim- 
ited in musical imagination. Alter all, it 
was also a year during which two strik- 
ingly original singeravriters begun to im- 
press themselves on the popularmusic 
public. Joh for 
mer sold mailman, emerged as 
а counny-tinged bard with extraordi- 
n bility to plumb the loneliness 
ged in the silent majority. Lou- 
Wainwright I, a more comic 
ut no less compassionate chronicler of 


пе, for instance, 


and our times, finally got it all 
together toward the end of 1972; and he 


sure 
of this 


ıe, one 


along with Pr 
commanding presence 
Апош that of Joh 
hey, an astonishingly mind-expanding 
guitarist-composer whose knowledge ap- 
peus to go back to the beginning of 
musical time. 

Among the more appealingly fresh 
groups starting their ascent were the 
country-rocking Eag Living, a 
nd witty folkrock unit from 

Massachusetts; and Vinegar 


h wa 


Amherst, 


ng, lusty British combo with 
sly abandoned vocal soloist i 
Brooks. Also worth watching for 
in the year to come is English singe 
composer Claire Hamill, who looks like 
the hard-times heroine of a Dickens 
novel but who sounds eerily far wise 
than her 17 years. In another time, sh 
ve been 
compelling short stories. 
The ability to tell provocative tal 
and weave probing spells continued last 
year to define the growing maturity of 
а key sector of our popular music—as 
in the deepening work of Randy New- 


man, Harry Nikson, Joni Mitchell, Ro 
berta Flack, Tom Rush, Van Morrison, 
Kris Kristofferson and Melanie. In 
this respect, Americm music has 
finally matched and even excelled the 
French tradition of the chansonnier. We 
now have our ous equivalents 
of such musici psychobistorians as 
Charles Trenet, Geo sens and 
Yves Montand, 


Quite outside any category, the Grate- 
ful Dead remained able to sustain а tull- 
cr and. more satisfying communion with 
its audiences than any other American 
group. Also undisturbed in their places 
in the rock pantheon were Leon Russell 
and Carole King, the later winnin; 
four firsts in the Mth annual Grammy 
Awards presented by the National Acad- 
emy of Recording Arts and Sciences. 
Neil Diamond. meanwhile, pointed a 
new direction for superstars—risking а 
2üperlormauce stand at Broadway's 
huge Winter Garden, the first such en- 
gagement by a rock performer at a New 
York legitimate theater, and ilu 
all the tickets sold out by opening night 

One of the year’s more remarkable 
musical rather tham. showbiz, achieve 
ments was the autistic growth of Booker 
I. (Jones), once the c mist of 
“the Memphis sound ARM 
album Home Grown, Booker T. and his 
wile, Priscilla Coolidge, revealed new 
mensions of soul expression. through 
their richly intertwined black-and-white 
A graduate of the same Memphis 
soul scene as Booker F., the shaven 
headed Isaac Hayes, who had hit big the 
year belore with the title song from 
Shaft, also continued to multiply his 
musical powers. Looking ahead, and not 
only for himself, the 28-year-old former 
sharecropper said: “The one thing I've 
learned from Shaft and from all my rec 
ords is that pop mu: 
strictions anymore. You don't just have 
to go up there and sing 
that’s the way it always was done before. 
Use whatever means necessary, be it тар, 
sing or arrangement, to get across to 
people. Styles are so broad now that you 
cm use anything you want.” 

Isaac Hayess dictum is clearly true 
in jazz and rock (witness the farther 
frontiers, transcending previous barriers 


ic doesn't set any re 


song be 


EN NP ТУТА 
NS ~ 


“I just adore these musical evenings, don't you, Miss Chalmers?” 


195 


PLAYBOY 


195 domestic phenom 


*My husband i 


turning into a vegelable and my 


son is turning into a fruit.” 


between musical forms and cultures, be 
g explored by Weather Report, 
Miles Davis, Orneue Coleman and 
John McLaughlin's Mahavishnu Orches- 
a). And now, some of country music 
ко getting decidedly broader. Ear! 
Scruggs and his longhaired sons, for 
example, juxtapose blues with bluepr 
rock rhythms a zz lines with 
tional hi 
Haggard is still faithful to the basic line 
age; but last year he kept discov 
new and wider sources of that tr 
g from a diversity of clapboard 
church sounds to ways in 
stretch the present. boundaries of cou 
try storytelling in somewhat the same 
direction Kris Kristofferson has taken. 
al signs of country music ex- 
n were evident in the inclusion of 
rock and jazz strains during what had 
been expected to be a familiar festi 


which to 


of counuy music at rural Dripping 
Springs, Texas, last spring. At this larg: 
est outdoor gathering ever held for 


musi 


nuy listening to the new 
fusions—as well as to Tex Ritter, Roy 
Acuff, Hank Snow and Loretta Lynn 
—were not only cowboys and farmers 
but also hundreds of long-haired young- 
sters. Earl Scruggs not surprised, 
noting after his performance that 90 
percent of his engagements аге now 
played on college campuses and that 
some black students are beginning to 
come to hear this stillgrowing good old 
boy. “Matter of fact.” Scruggs drawled. 
got some banjo-pickin’ buddies 
who are black.” 

In recent years, moreover, the break- 
ing down of all kinds of boundaries 
through music has not been solely a 

non. The impact of 


ч 


changes in music here is world-wide. Ап 
index of this long-distance effect o 
other cultures was the reporting from 
ist, remote Siberia, by Hed 
of The New York Times who, upon 
visiting Novosibirsk last усаг, was asked 
by a college senior about the most rc- 
cent records by Aretha Franklin and 
Blood, Sweat & "Tears. 

Another traveler was the indefatigable 
Pete Seeger, the Johnny Appleseed of 
folk music. He sang and strummed dur- 
ing th п North Vietnam and 
China, among many other places. Nat 
one North Vietnamese villag 
taught the kids, so у 
и! children have learned from 
him, how to join in Woody Guthrie’ 


Put Your Finger in the Air—in voice 
and in gesture. In Peking, he gav 
sound advice to the U.S, State Depart- 


ment with regard to forthcoming cul- 
tural exchanges with China. "What [the 
State. Department] should. not. send 
large orchestras and ballets, things 
which require a lot of orchestration—al- 
though 1 am sure they wili—but people 
who represent really traditional musi 
ins to be seen, of cow 
whether Seeger's advice is heeded so that 
the Chinese can be introduced to such 
artists as, let's say, Earl Scruggs, 
Ornette Coleman, the Staple Singers, the 
Grateful Dead and B. B. King. King, in 
any case, came close—performing in 
Bangkok and Hong Kong in October 
during his first world-wide concert tow 
which reached from Japan to | 
to Europe. 

Another 1972 B. B. King unde: 


Е. Lee Bailey in scing up the Found: 
tion for the Advancement of Inmate 
Rehabilitation and Recreation (FAIRR). 


Its intent, as noted on the floor of the 
House by Rhode Island Congressman 
Robert T "to expand p 
programs by a ng appearance 
other entertainers, Lawyers, sports pei 
sonaliti writers, musicians and a wide 
range of public figures, in a series of 
concerts, discussion groups and training 
programs." 

Other musicians following B. В. King 
and Johnny Cash in expanding the 
prison concert circuit last year were 
ah Vaughan, Dizzy Gillespi 
. Taj Mahal and Elephants Mt 
(John Lennon's backup band). The 
New York State Council on the Arts, in 
a move that could well be emulated 
throughout the country, funded a series 
of appearances in that state's prisons by 
Thad Jones and Mel Lewis, Chico Ham- 
ilton, Marian McPardand, Earl Hines 
and Herbie Mann. Taking music be- 
yond its customary audiences ought to 
be thc kind of spirit-quickening acti 
that docs not requ 
Presidential election to be activated. 

One singer who, for yca 
her music and her enormous strength of 
spirit while performing in prisons was 
Mahalia Jackson. The inevitable choice 
to sing at the 1963 March on Washing- 
1 and I Been Scorned), 
Mahalia Jackson died in January 1972 
at the age of 60. In Chicago, nearly 
10.000 people stood in line to pay their 
respects. Among them were Mrs. М. 
Luther King, ]r. the Reverend Jesse 
Jackson, Sammy Davis Jr, Ella Fitzger- 
ald, Cl. Ward and Aretha. Franklin, 
who exemplified. the continuing flow of 
Mahalia's soul force by her singing of 
Precious Lord, Take My Hand. 

Another huge loss was the death of 
Jimmy Rushing at 68. One of the warm- 
cst and yet most poignant of all jazz, 
ballad and blues singers, Rushing, as 
Ralph Ellison wrote, imposed "a roman- 
tic lyricism upon the blues tradition, a 
lyricism which is not of the Deep South 
but of the Southw a romanticism: 
tive to the frontier." 

But the beat of life goes on. Edward 
Ellington 11, grandson of the. Duke, an 
alumnus of Howard University and 
sometime guitarist with the Ellington 
orchestra, entered the freshman class of 
the Berklee College of Music in Boston 
year. His major: instrumental per- 

ing in concert with 
rnegie Hall were 
two of his sons, Darius, 24, and Ch 
pher, 20, both also leaders of their own 
combos. Among other playing sons of 
musician fathers on the scene during the 
ycar were the scions of Stan Getz, Jackie 
h. And in the 
Ellington 
Edward Heywood, son of pianist 
Eddie Heywood, and Alan Dawson, 


son of the brilliant Boston-based drum 
mer and Berklee faculty member. 

The once and former Beatles are still 
too young to have performing progeny, 
but John Lennon and Yoko Ono did 
ta project du the year to open 
ic libraries—one in cenwich 
nd one in Harlem—that would 
include recordings of all kinds of music 
amd provide free music lessons for all 
di The music libraries 
would also function as day-care centers. 

The Lennons, in addition, were em 
battled in the politics of nations, though 

ot in the usual sense. The U.S. Im- 
ion and Na Service 
moved to deport them in April on the 
ground that Lennon had been convicted 
ad fined in nd in 1968 
a small amount of "Cannabis resin 
(hashish) was found during a search of 
his home. (Hashish is not mentioned i 
the Immigration and Nationality Act, 
which denies residence to persons con- 
victed of possession of “narcotic drugs or 
marijuana.” An expert witness for the 
Lennons, Dr. Lester Grinspoon, testified 
that Cannabis resin is neither.) 

"Thousands of people put th 


Ж 


dren who cam 


when 


r names 


on petitions to stop the deportation pro- 
ıt the Lennons р 
ited 


ceedings and gi 
nent residence in 


the Un 
supporters, 

n procee 
in public statements, were: Ma 
Lindsay; Dick Cavett; 


States. 


Ameng thei 


gs or 
or John 
the Reverend 


"aul Moore, Episcopal bishop of New 
Bob 


York; Saul Bellow; John Cage: 
she 
the Lue Edmund Wils 
Hoving, director of the Metropoli 
Museum of Art. ("If John Lennon w 
a Hoving told the court, 
would be hangi 
Museum.") 

Even The New York Times had been 
sufficiently touched by the counte 
culture to observe editorially: 
Lennons have been enthu 
volved in projects which enlist musi 
the betterment of deprived children's 
lives. They came to New York as visitors 
three years ago and say that they have 
Шеп in love with the city 
It would be ironic if the guardians of 
this country's private morals and public 
safety were to become known as the au- 
thors of a new slogan: ‘America—Love 
It and Leave It.’ What the Beatles might 
e done with such a refrain!” 

The hearteningly broad range of sup- 
port for the Lennons was consonant 


"he 
ihe. Metropolitan 


d its way: 


wi 


h the letter—though not nece 
the 


with 


spirit—of what Р 
Charles when they met 
in the White House in September to 
trade impressions of their travels 
abroad. The President noted that the 
Japanese "have become very Europ 
ized, but you don't s in G 


think d 
want everyone to be a 

By year's end, a final decision had not 
been rendered in the case of John Lev 
on and Yoko Ono, who surely animate 
as does the jazz and popular music of 


s a good thing. We don't 


e. 


the past decade—the President's point: 
“We don't want everyone to be a 
Perhaps early in his second te 


President will involve himself in dei 
mining the justice of the ruling ag 
the Lennons, as he has in the decisic 
inst Lieutenant Calley. But ne" wen 
Dizzy Gillespie is advised to hold his 
breath until then. 


ALL-STAR MUSICIANS’ POLL 


One of the annual highlights of our 
Jazz & Pop Poll is the balloting whereby 
the incumbent All-Stars select their own 
Favorite musi d groups. This year, 
in an attempt to render the All-Star club 
less exclusive, ballots were sent not only 
10 last year’s winners but to all musicians 
who garnered enough votes to be listed 
mong the finishers. As it turned out, six 
categories underwent a change in leader- 
wd there was а lot of jostling be- 
neath the top men, resulting in several 
multiple ties and a new catholicity of 
choices. 

ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR LEADER: Ellington 
n set the pace, as Count Basie was 
tied lor runner-up honors by Quincy 
Jones. A resurgent Stan. Kenton entered 
the top five as Oliver Nelson and Woody 
Herman dropped ош. 1. Duke E 
2. Cou . Quincy Jones: 4 
Kenton, Doc Severinsen. 


ship, 


“That's not the way to leave the order. 


ALLSTARS’ ALL-STAR TRUMPET: Miles re- 
ined first place but was closely pressed 
Freddie Hubbard, as Dizzy Gillespie 
slipped to t Jark Terry, third last 
ped from the top five as May 


uson moved in, 1, Miles Devis; 
9. Freddie Hubbard: 3. Dizzy Gillesp 
Doc Severinse rd Ferguson. 


ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR TROMBONE 
Johnson and Urbie Green rem: 
men to beat, but there was turmoil be- 
low as George Bohanon, Bill Watrous. 
Curtis Fuller and veteran Al Grey moved 
into the listings. displac dling, 
Bob Brookmeyer and Frank Rosolino. 
1. J. J. Johnson; 2. Urbie Green; 3. George 
Bohanon, Curtis Fuller, Al Grey, Bill 
Watrous, 

ALLSTARS ALLSTAR ALTO sax: Phi 
Woods cime on strong enough to edge 
Cannonball Adderley for first place. Paul 


Desmond dropped a notch to third and 
Hank Crawford. 
1 


not among last y 
ders, took the fourth spot. Lee Kon 


7 


was tied for the filth position by Joe 
Farrell and Souny Stitt, 1. Phil Woods; 
9. Cannonball Adderley: 3. Paul Des- 


mond: 4. Hank Crawford: 5. Joe Farrell, 
Lee Konitz, Sonny Stitt. 

ALLSTARS ALLSTAR TENOR SAX: The 
tenor men were again Jed by Stan Getz. 
but Zoot Sims and Eddic Miller dropped 
from contention as the next two chairs 
went to Joe Henderson and Stanley Tur- 
rentine. Johnny С nd Sonny Rol- 
lins, who didn’t place last year, came on 
to tie Wayne Shorter to round out the 
division. 1. Stan Getz; 2. Joe Henderson 


197 


PLAYBOY 


198 


3. Stanley Turrenti Johnny Grif- 
fin, Sonny Rollins, Wayne Shorter. 
ALL-STARS’ ALL-STAR BARITONE S$: Tt 
was Gerry Mulligan one more time, as 
Harry Carney and Pepper Adams. who 
were second and third a year ago, ex- 
changed places. Howard Johnson re 
placed Benny Crawford in the top five 
1. Gerry Mulligan; 2, Pepper Adams; 3. 
Cecil Payne; 5. Howard 


махы Buddy 
in charge. but there 
s Топу Scott and 
Jimmy Hamilton moved into ¢ 
tion; Jimmy Ciuffre and Alvin Batiste 
were the dropouts. 1. Buddy De Franco; 


. Benny Goodman, ‘Tony Scout; 4. Pere 
Fountain, Jimmy Hamilton 
ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR PIANO: The 


younger generation made itself felt here. 
Herbie Hancock came up from second 
place to knock off Bill Evans, with Evans 
dropping to third and Oscar Peterson 
advancing a notch to Hank 
Jones moved into the top five. displ 
ing Chucho for fourth place. ‘The 
news, though, was the three pianist jam- 
up in filth place, with a couple of rock 
musicians involved. 1. Herbie Напсос 
Oscar Peterson, Bil Evans; 4. Hank 
Jones: 5. Chick Corea, Nicky Hopkins, 
Leon Russell. 

ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR ORGAN: Perennial 
nner Jimmy Smith turned the trick 
-but, as in so many other catego- 
Tittle else remained stable. Khalid 
Yasin came from limbo to claim second; 
Isaac Hayes also moved into contention 


second. 


as Groove Holmes, Owen Bradley and 
Keith Emerson got lost in the shuflle. 


1. Jimmy Smith; 2. Khalid Yasin: 3. Billy 
Preston; 4. Wild Bill Davis, Isaac Hayes. 
ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR vines: The results 
here, strangely enough, almost dupli 
cated those of last year. The only 
changes were in the fourth and fifth 
spots, which were waded by Roy Ayers 
mpton. 1. Mih Jackson; 
: 3. Bobby Hutcherson; 
1. Lionel Hampton: 5. Roy Ayers 
ALLSTARS ALLSTAR Gorani George 


ingly casy winner. e s All-Star, 
Jim Hall, came in second; Kenny Burrell 
also dropped a notch. to third. Gabor 
Szabo and Herb Ellis faded as Joe Pass 
and John McLaughlin entered the top 
five. `1, George Benson; 2. Jim Hall; 
3. Kenny Burrell; 4. Joe Pass; 5. John 
McLaughlin. 
ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR BASS: Ray Brown 
4 Ron Carter matched their onetwo 
finish of last year—but Miroslav Vitous, 
Eddie Gomez and. Jack 
out by Chuck Rainey, rd Davis 
and Stanley Clark. 1. Ray Brown; 2. Ron 
Carter; 3. Chuck Rainey; 4. Stanley 
Clark, Richard Davis. 

ALL-STARS ALLSTAR DRUMS: Here, too, 
the and second-placers—Buddy 


Rich and Tony Williams—held on: but 
Bernard Purdie, Elvin Jones and Roy 
Haynes took over from Philly Joe Jones, 
Mel Lewis and Jack De Johnette. 1. Buddy 
Rich; 9. Tony Williams; 3. Bernard 
Purdie; 4. Roy Haynes, Elvin Jones. 

ALL-STARS’ ALL-STAR MISCELLANEOUS IN- 
suwer: Here, too, there a colli- 
sion in fifth place. Rahsaan Roland Kirk 
was unshakable at the top, but Hube 
Laws made a strong showing in taking 
second place. Last years runner-up, 
Herbie Mann, tied for third with new- 
com mo Moreira; Keith Emerso 
and Pharoah Sanders were among last 
year’s leaders but did not make it th 
time. 1. Rahsoan Roland Kirk, flute, manzello, 
Hubert Laws, flute; 3. Herbie 
flute; Aimo Moreira, pereus- 
. Paul Horn, soprano sax; 
iles Lloyd, flute; Jean Thielemans, 
harmonica. 


Al VARS’ ALLSTAR MALE VOCALIST: 
Billy Eckstine, pressed by Tony Bennett, 
took the лите; as last year's leader, 


Ray Charles, failed to ma 
five, and newcomers Leon Thomas and 
Donny Hathaway tied for third. 1. 
Billy Eckstine; 2. Tony Bennet Don- 


e the top 


ny Hathaway, Leon Thomas; 5. Joe 
Williams. 

ALL-STARS’ ALL-STAR FEMALE VOCALI: 
This was Roberta Flack’s show, as she 


came up from fifth place to take it 
all. year’s winner, Ella Fitzgerald, 
slipped only 10 second; but Dionne 
Warwicke, third а year ago, dropped out 
as Carmen McRae moved up. 1. Roberta 


Fleck; 2. Ella 
Vaughan; 4, Aretha men 
McRac. 


STARS ALLSTAR VOCAL GROUP: The 
Sth Dimension rem: a first place, 
but the Staple Singers took over second 
as the Jackson 5 slipped into a four- 
group standoff for third. The C; 
penters and the Four Freshmen, in the 
top five for 1972, did not return. 1. 5th 
Dimension; Staple Singers; 3. Bread, 
Jackson 5, Poco, Sly & the Family Stone, 

ALLSTARS’ ALLSTAR SONGWRI 
ington repeated his victory of 
‚ but runner-up Jim Webb fell 


ed 


FR-COM- 


in another jamup of major 
to- 

к Му dif- 

fused, with no particular style or idiom 
in a dear position of dominance. Prom- 
ї dropouts from las з list were 


» 
t Bacharach-Ha]. David, Henry М 
and Johnny Mandel. 1. Duke Ellington; 
2. Michel Leg 


this year as Sm made Chicago 
mber one, over Miles Davis, who won 
t ye All of last year’s other leaders 
—the Bill Evans Trio, Blood, Sweat & 
‘Tears, the Oscar Peterson Trio and the 


Modern Jazz Qu 
1, Chicago; 2. Miles Dav 
Adderley Quintet, M 
wa; 5. The World's Gre: 


RECORDS OF THE YEAR 


As is our custom, we asked our readers 
to vote for the albums they considered 
tops for the year, in three categories— 
best LP by a big band, best LP by a 
small combo (fewer than ten pieces) and 
best vocal LP. Here's how it tumed out. 

BEST BIG-BAND LP: Procol Harum live in 
Concert with the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra 
daam). Classical-rock—not 10 mention 
the fortunes of Procol Harum ot a 
big shot in the arm from this concert, 
which found the group getting assistance 
from 24 extra singers and 52 symphony 
musicians on such items as Conquistador 
(a hit single) and In Held Twas in 1, a 
sidelong medley including four of the 
group's tenes, plus a Grand Finale. 

BEST SMALL-COMBO LP: Chicago V (Co- 
lumbia). On its first release that didn't 
clude at least two discs, Chicago didn't 
break any new ground but m. ied 
its usual standard of excellence, combin- 
ing the singing of Robert Lamm, Terry 
Kath and Peter Cetera with tight ir 
strumencil work; some of the highlights 
of the session were A Hit by Varèse, 
Dialogue and Saturday in the Pa 

BEST VOCAL LP: Harvest / Neil Young (Ве- 
prise). Aided at times on this LP by 
Crosby, Stills and Nash, at other times by 
such folkrock lumi as James Tay 
lor and Linda Ronstadt, and elsewhere 
by the London Symphony Orchestra, 
Young delighted his followers with yet 
another program of melancholic, decep- 
tively simple songs, such as Hear of 
Gold, Old Man and the title tune. 


rtet—failed to repeat. 
'onball 
hnu Orche 
est Jazzband. 


BEST BIG-BAND LP 
Т. Procol Harum Live in Concert with the 
Edmonton Symphony Orchestra (A & M) 
Concert for Bangla Desh (Apple) 
Shaft | Isaac Hayes (Enterprise) 
Rich in London | Buddy Rich (RCA) 


Smackwater Jack | Quincy Jones 
(A & M) 

б. Clockwork | Orange—Sound Track 
(Warner Bros.) 


7. Tears of Joy | Don Ellis (Columbia) 

8. Brass on Ivory | Henry Mancini | 
Doc Severinsen (RCA) 

ther: A New Chuck Mangione 

Concert with the Rochester Philhar- 

monic Orchestra (Mercury) 


10. The Godfather—Sound Track (Para 
mount) 

IL. Sixteen. Great Performances | Doc 
Severinsen (ABC) 

12. M. F. Нот | Maynard Ferguson 
(Columbia 

13. Diferent Drummer | Buddy Rich 
(RCA) 

14. Stan Kenton Today (London) 


15. Frank Zappa's 200 Motels (United 
Artists) 


16. Maynard Ferguson (Columbia) 


17. Carlos Santana & Buddy Miles! Live! 
Columbia) 

18. Summer of 42—Sound Track | Mi- 
chel Legrand. (Warner Bros.) 

19. Friends & Love... A Chuck. Man- 

gione Concert (Mercury) 

. Jesus Christ Superstar (Decca) 

| Lighthouse Live! (Evolution) 

Don Ellis at Fillmore (Columbia) 

93. Let My Children Hear Music | 
Charles Mingus (Columbia) 

24. Live-Evil / Miles Davis (Columbia) 

95. Mancini Concert / Henry Mancini 
(RCA) 


DEST SMALE-COMRO LP 


1. Chicago V (Columbie) 


2. Thick as a Brick | Jethro Tull 
(Reprise) 

3. Trilogy | Emerson, Lake & Palmer 
(Cotillion) 

4. Eal a Peach | Allman Brothers Band 
(Capricorn) 

5. The Inner Mounting Flame | The 
Mahavishnu Orchestra with John 


McLaughlin (Columbia) 
6. Exile on Main St. | The Rolling 
Stones (Rolling Stones Records) 
7. Chicago at Carnegie Hall (Columbia) 
8. Pictures at an Exhibition | Emerson, 
Lake & Palmer (Cotillion) 
9. Santana (Columbia) 
10. Fragile | Yes (Au: 
I1. School's Out | Alice Cooper (Wa 
Bros.) 
Push Push / Herbie Mann (Embryo) 
. Led Zeppelin IV (Atlantic) 
Manassas | Stephen Stills (2 Milani) 
B, S = T 4 | Blood, Sweat & Tears 
umbia) 


т 


16. Aqualung | Jethro Tull (Reprise) 
17. The Low Spark of High Heeled 


Boys | Traffic (Island) 
Killer | Alice Cooper (Warner Bros.) 
. The Allman Brothers Band at Fill. 
more East (Capricorn) 
Ennea | Chase (Epic) 


21. Layla | Derek and the Dominos 
(Atco) 
The Chuck Mangione Quartet (Mer. 
cury) 


Meddle | Pink Floyd (Harvest) 
Jazz Blues Fusion | John Mayall 
(Polydor) 

25, Abraxas | Santana (Columbia) 


BEST VOCAL LP 


1. Harvest | Neil Young (Reprise) 

Exile on Main St. | The Rolling 

Stones (Rolling Stones Records) 

3. Honkey Chateau | Elion John (Uni) 

4. Thick as a Brick | Jethro Tull 
(Reprise) 

5. Eat а Peach | Allman Brothers Band 
(Capricor 

6. Fragile | Yes (Atlantic) 

7. Never а Dull Moment | Rod Stewart 
(Mercury) 

8. Moods | Neil Diamond (Uni) 

9. Led Zeppelin IV (Atlantic) 

10. Carney | Leon Russell (Shelter) 

11. American Pie | Don McLean (United 
Artists) 


"Im sorry, but we've decided not to 
have our TV set repaired." 


Concert for Bangla Desh (Apple 
19. Madman Across the Water | Elton 


John (Uni) 

14. Tapestry | Carole King (Ode) 

14. Teaser and the Firecat | Cat Stevens 
(A kM) 

16. America { Alice Cooper (Warner 
Bros.) 


17. Who's Next / The Who (Decca) 
18. Paul Simon (Columbia) 
19. Trilogy | Lake 
(Cotillion) 
A Song for You | Carpenters (A & M) 
First Take | Roberta Flack (Atlantic) 
Manassas | Stephen Stills (Atlantic) 
Every Good Boy Deserves Favour | 
The Moody Blues (Threshold) 
Nilsson, Schmilsson | Harry Nilsson 
(RCA) 
95. Roberta Flack & Donny Hathaway 
(Atlantic) 


JAZZ & POP HALL OF FAME 


There were several new entr 
year’s Hall of Fame sweepstakes—won 
by Eric Clapton, whose victory is cele 
brated elsewhere. Sentiment for the late 


erson, & Palmer 


es in this 


as it did 
s by Jim 
iductees) 
godlather 
came into 
1 fifth, in 
mong the contenders. 
e Тап Anders 
Keith Emerson (who did 
tegories of the Readers? 
ides copping top spot among the 
Rod Stewart, Keith Richard 
mother Rolling Stone). 
Gillespie (ne only 


on (one of last y 
and King Curtis. Chuck Ве 
of the rock ge 
own this ye 
first appearance 
Other new en 
н Russell. 


pearing from the list altogether w 
B. B. King (tenth last year) and J 
7 (1з), as well as Johnny 
Henry Mar i. Dionne Warwicke, Ki 


198 


PLAYBOY 


200 


Curtis and Joe Cocker. Here are the 
top 25 vote getters: 
Eric Clapton 

2. Duane Allman 

3. Neil Diamond 
Doe Severinsen 
. Chuck Berry 
Young 


Elton John 


Anderson 
nk 2 


. Paul 
Barbra $ 
. Buddy Rich 

. Keith Emerson 
Peter Townshend 
Rod Stewart 

. Keith Richard 

. Stephen Stills 
John Mayall 
Dizzy Gillespie 

. Isaac Hayes 
James Taylor 


ALL-STAR READERS’ POLL 


js that there are 
there were the 
normal fluctuations of individuals and 
groups within the va categories, 
and some new heroes made the scene. 
But there were few starding leaps or 
falls and there was no change in the 
ic pattern established by the vot 
g over the past several years. which 
has found rock people dominating the 


Poll, per 
surprises. Su 


ious 


K 


“Well, Mr. Willoughby, 


group categories, while jazzmen—mostly 
middle-of-the-road jazz continue to 
hold their own in the horn sections. The 


only categories that saw a change of 
leadership this year were organ, with 
Keith Emerson ousting Booker T., who 
slipped to fourth, behind the advancing 
Isaac Hayes and Billy Preston; male 
vocalist, where Mick Jagger, third a ye 
rt off his throne 


ago, bumped Rod Stev 
(Stewart is second this year, while James 
Taylor, last year's runner-up, is down i 
the Huh spot): and vocal group, as The 
Rolling Stones ended the 
y Blues, who сате in second thi 
Those who reta 


round, 
Is included 
Doc 

. alto 


Seve 


umpeter 
J. J. Johnse 
ball Adderley, tenor man St: 
tone man Gery Mulligan, 
Pete Fountain, pianist Elton John, vibist 
Liouel Hampton, guitarist Eric Clapton 
(also elected to the Jazz & Pop Hall of 
Fame), bassist Paul MeCartney. drummer 
Buddy Rich, flue Anderson, vo 

ist Carole King, th team ol 
ad Hal David, and 
go. A number 
showin 


instrumental combo Chi 
of newco: 
Chuck Mangione came from limbo 1 
place seventh among the big-band lead- 
ers; trombonist James Pankow, unheard 
from last year, made the fifth spot in his 
category: alto saxophonists Edgar Winter 
and Chris Wood. both nowhere a уса 
ago. placed second and fourth, respec 
tively, while Grover Washington, Jr. 


ling a string of soul. jazz 


made stron 


ers 


you mised World War 


Two, Korea and Vieinam, but you got caught right smack 
dab in the middle of the Sexnal Revolution!” 


from obscurity to place 12th; pianists 
Robert Lamm (eighth) and Billy Pr 

ton (11th) made their first appearanc 
as did Donny Hathaway, in 24th place. 


Phil Kraus, I2th among the vibra 
phonists, and bassists Peter Cetera and 
adle (fith and eighth, respec 


tively) are also newcomers. So аге 
horn player Mangione and steel gı 
Rusty Young, both appearing for the 
first time in the other-i 

sults. Among the drummers, vete 
man Billy Cobham came out of left field 
10 take the tenth spot, thanks to his ex- 
posure with the Aahavishnu Orchestr 
while Carl Palmer and Daniel Se 
ignificant upward mobilit 
tarist John McLaughlin, leader of the 
Mahavishnu Orchestra, made first 
ance, in sixth place—a formidable 
and evidence that the PLAYBOY 
electorate still has cars for a progressive 


ist 


showed si 


jazz sound. The ninth, tenth and Iih 
spots under the male-vocalist heading 
show names that weren't on the list 
freak-rocker Alice Cooper, 

id the resurgent 

Morrison. Among the female vo- 
calists, upward progress was made by 


Robei 


Flack, Chér and Carly Simon; 
the newcomers were Helen Reddy and 
Merry Clayton. Also in ascendancy were 
two new entries, the Allman Brothers 
Band and Yes, among the vocal groups: 
first-timers Robert Lamm and Nilsson in 
the songwritercomposer category; and 
Weather Report and Danny Davis & the 
Nashville Brass—both new—among the 
instrumental combos. The gap between 
those of 
ns themselves continues to be 
ance, Billy Eck- 
stine All-Stars’ AllStar as male 
vocalist, did not place in the Readers’ 
Poll. Neither did Duke Ellington, the 
All-Stars’ choice for songwriter-composer. 
And George Benson, voted top gu 
picker by the musicians, could do no 
beter uh Readers Poll. 
(Speaking of guitarists, rock patriarch 
Chuck Berry, enjoyin w wave of 
popularity with My Ding-A-Ling, ap- 

aed in the results for the first time, i 
20th place: he also finished. fifth in 
Hall of Fame balloting.) In some 
gories. the readers and the musi 
J. Johnson, Stan € 
nd Buddy Rich 


the readers’ choices and the 


our 


Mull 


took 
honors in both polls. But the results dif 


top 


other 
of comse. is why we | 

Listed herewith are the most popular 
artists in each category, The names 
boldface are those of the AllStars: they 
will receive silver medals, as will those 
whose recordings were adjudged best of 
the усаг by our readers. Eric Claptos 


and that, 
ve two polls. 


fer in the 


categorics 


will receive an additional medal in 
recognition of his election to the Hall 
of Fame. 


[o 


1. Doe Severinsen 
2 Burt Bacharach 


20. Greg Lake 


кес 


14, Judy Collins 
15. Linda Ronstadt 
Ella Fitzgerald 
Vikki Carr 


Sergio Me 
y Hathawa 


ry Mancini ip Upchurch 


PI TRE EE Andre Pres Rufus Reid 
5. Buddy Ric т заса 4 пайок, 
ө. Duke Elling 4. Boots Rendolph [y Durs Mina bre 
7. Chuck Mangione 5. Rabaan Roland Kirk 
8 Hia 4. Eddie Harris 
E 5. Jim Hom 
10. Count Basie ê Posh Sidse Ж. Booker Т 
1 Kenton т Eddie “Lockjaw” Davis | 5 Winwood 
12 omes Brown к Yusef Latet 
Sun Ra Ж r SUN осм. шив 
[Charles M S MAT 1. The Rolling Stones 
ard Ferguson е X. “The Moody Blues 
Charles оча 10. Ray Manzarck y Сорт 3. Allman Brothers Bond 
Sonny Ro 11. Garth Hudam Jones 1. Three Dog Night 
; Buddy Tate Joe Morello 4: 
1 Gene Au Louis Bells n5 
20. Les Brown Wayne She . Dick Hyman . Mitch Mitchell. 7. Yes 
ad Jomes / Mel Lewis AL Cohn Walter Wanderley . Sandy Nebon n 
Joc Henderan Grove Holincs Bobby Colony 
| Lous t Curtis A im Rel fiers 
Jackson Archie Shepp “Чеп dead 
icy Тетис cum Grateful Dead 
Виста Art Ваке Sonny апа Chér 
Haiti © Brother Jack Мера Siet ا‎ 
à other Jack Mc lly Mas 
1. Doc severinen Ж. Joe Farell E Shirley Sat Wi The Band 
duse ш сат ЕЎ Miles Sergio Mendes 
hn Evans Hil Вы 7 
Gerry Mulligan go . Dan Hicks an 
7 Jim Hora vims отити noinen Hor Licks 
Bud Shank Lionel Heme Andersen, fiore 16. Grand Funk Railroad 
les Davis Gary Burton th Emerson, Moog 
Cal Tjader Нес Mann. finie 
Mile Jackson 4 Rob Dylan. harmonica 
Stu Kate 5. Ravi Shankar, sitar 
С Willy Butterfield ler Gibbs 5 m. sitar Be Gee 
Nat Adderley Don Elliot 7 uler, harmonica Four Freshmen 
Worry James 7 Buddy Montgomery Н harmonia EE ROHS ARE 
Freditie Hubbard Bobby Hutcherson lid. Fira Edition 


Avers harmonica 
Earl Scroggs, banjo 
Walter Parazaider. flute 


. Rov SONG WHITER-COMPOSER 


Bur! Bacharach- 


18. Pete Candoli Jean Ню, banjo Hob Dovid 
н . Chuck Mangi Mick Jager 
Fliigelhorn b Richard, 


. Jonah Jones 
Donald Byrd. 


14. Rusty Young, steel guitar 


ernie 


Chet Baker Tommy Vig 13. Sugar Cane Harris, violin 
Victor Feldman 16. Jolin Sebastian, harmonica | 4 Nel Young 
Mike Майне 17. Dick H jou 5. Bob Dylan 
. Gordon Emmanuel 17. Rahsaan Roland Kirk, 1 
TROMBONE 21. Gunter Hampel йш mure lu, rich 
pecu coser comm Ry Cooder, mandolin 
3. Kei Winding 1. Pete Fountain 1. Eric Clapton Ha. congas | 11. Leon Russell 
4: Slide Hampton Benny Goodma X George Н. de П 5 
5; Woody Herman 5. Carlos Santan: orm 15, Robert Lamm 
4. Каһзага Roland Kirk 1. Jimmy Page nia oboe n 
э Feed D José Feliciano 1 т Townshend 
в. Acker Bilk John Mc pines чокон, 16: Kris Kristofferson 
1.C T. Buddy De Franco т. Chet А 1. Mick Jagger 17. John Le 
j. Timmy Cleveland. $. Phil Woods FEN 2 Rod Stewart 1 ry Mancini 
Can F э. Jimmy Hamilton er Townshend x 1 
AL Grev 10. Art Pepper Stevens П Paul McCartney 
з. Chris Barber 11: Peanuts Hucko . Terry Kath 5. Randy Newman 
uster Cooper 12, Buddy Collette Keith Richard E. Cat Stevens  Nibson 
wk Murphy 15 Pee W а Jet Beck, Icon Russell icplien Stills 
Benny Green 14. Jerry Ful . Elvis Presley Jerson 
ickie Wells 1 . Mice Cooper Liehtfoot 
a Jackson 10. Nilson 
ris Johnny Winter 11. Van Morriso POI HUE ау 
. Her 12. Sammy Davis Ir 1. Chicago 
| Wayne Henderson TX. David Clavton- V homas ГЕ 


Dave on 

С Garett Brown. ony Scott + Glen Campbell ma 

Benny Powell Ray Burke Kenny Burel Blood, Sweat & Tears 
Renolino 24. Frank Chace 5. Tony Motol: Mice Cooper 
Ade 24, Walt Levinsky 24. George Benson 
Repos їч. мацу Matlock Эз. Mike Bloomfield. 


1. Cannonball Adderley 


2. Edgar Winter viso m 
T Paul Desmond Elton John 1. Poul McCortney ТИЯ 
4. Chris Wood Russell 2. Jack Bruce E 
5. Fred Li 3 Hopkins 1 Tack Coady 
6. Yusef Lateef 4 Burt Bacharach 3. Jobn Entwistle E 
7; Omente Cotes H 5. Peter Cetera 
А Zoot Sims Young 5 Charles Mingus земл VOCALIST 
Paul Horn Peter Nero z 1. Corste 
КЕ? Robert Lamm X Carl Кайс a 
5 


Ramsey Lewis 
Ray Charles 
Billy Preston 


. James Moody 
Grover Wastin 
Pepper 


т. Rick Grech 
». Bil Wye 


Ramsey Lewis Trio 
Ventures 


ton, Jr. 


Ron C: 


А 


Eric Kloss Herbie Hancock 22 Miles 0 
y Stitt С Oscar Peterson Dunn 23. Cannonball Adderley 
Bunky Green Keith Emerson Buddy Clark ct 
Benny Carter Chick Corea Bob Hageart за Davis & the 
Woods k Montgomery 1. Dionne Warwicke Nashville Bras 
ad Davis TE. Aretha Franklin 24. Weather Report 
T Thelonious Monk Rita Coolidge 
Tank Crawford. Erroll Garner Liza Minnelli a 201 


PLAYBOY 


TROUBLE IN PARADISE 


them, in the tradition of journalists, 
wanted to write that serious book, that 
work of art, Unlike most journalists, 
they both had a real talent for it. And so 
they took the plunge 
d so few com- 
mit: they sold everything, burned all 
their bridges and moved with their 
few belongings and their four children 
nd their promise of literary talent 
10 Synthos. 

These Greck isl 
ad vibrating with 


nds are sun-baked 
eek and foreign 


vacationers during ihe summer. But 
through the long outo[scason months. 
they are almost empty, and almost 


stripped of distractions, and subject to 
one of the most obstreperous climates 
anywhere, the Aegean with its fearsome 
winds and monumental storms 

Here were the Hardings after seven 
years of this. Both had produced several 
books. At first they were well received, 
although not money-makers, but within 
a few years, neither had any real living 
material to draw upon except their life 
on a rock in the Aegean Sea (Truman 
Capote, cutting through the surface al- 
lure faster than most, landed on Syn- 
thos, exclaimed “Alcatraz!” and promptly 

mbarked). Their Tater books, al- 
though they found publishers, failed to 

te public. They had just 
enough money to live on tl an- 
ally cheap iskand—I believe the family 
ar. They 


est any 


s except 


Max had drifted far from the 
world of foreign correspondents. 
Neither learned to speak enough 
Greek for social closeness with the n 
tives, and so relied on visiting foreigners 
and the few other English-speaking resi 
dents for friends, Day after day after day 
they sat on their rock. They had their 
ing, they gave the same dinner party 
a thousand times, they had their онто. 
And after seven years of this, the bot- 
tom be at them fast. One 
drunken night. Max broke a wine bot- 


п 10 come 


them to give the money to her Greek 
lover. Peggy could no longer write at all. 
The dream of primitive beauty and art 
had shriveled to a nightmare of futility 
nd suffering; but unlike real nigh- 
mares, theirs had no end in sight. 

Then the miracle happened, the deus 
ex machina. Max desperately 
out one last book and it was selected by 
a major book club. Real money reached 
them at last. 

They fled S they fled Greece as 
though the Furies purs 
they were cur 
for a litle while. But P 


зуу teeth were 


202 too bad, Max's hacking cough too irri- 


(continued [rom page 130) 


tating, for wholehearted acceptance. 
Moreover, they were no longer Canadian 
literati, they were Aegean wanderers, de- 
nationalized and defeated. They tried to 


make their Aegean years sound like 
" immensely romantic adventure, but 
eyes and their skin and their 


nerves told 


different story, the story of 
two more fugitives [rom paradise lost 

Twas often tempted to buy a house on 
Synthos. All the expatriate colony there, 
desperate for someone new to talk to, 
urged me on. I wavered. I thought 
about it, never did. For, despite Melina, 
1 might have ended up in a mental hos- 
al like another American wi 
"ей there, or become a rattled drug 
addict like the lovely Swedish girl had, 
or retreated into а marble nity like 
the painter from Des Moines. or cis- 
tred English tourist like the youth 
from Boston. The Synthos message was 
writen as large as, and echoed exactly, 
dh ds over the entrance to Apollo's 
at Delphi: wormwG тоо 
lise, sample Eden, and 
then go, flee, you were not born he 
nd you do not belong here. 

Melina's influence prevailed. No one 
danced later nor broke more plates than 
she did. but Melina was out for fun, not 
for self-destruction. “I was born Greek 
as her proudest and trucst. statemen 
. not self-destruction, a Greck life is 
ed to be thrown 
nd paradise could not di 
stroy her for one simple reason: She wa 
born Greck. 

I luck; 


ter who 


"Ww 


The Hardings w 


ir experience is as old as Judaco- 
n culture. Adam and Eve were 
the prototypes of all T am describing. In 
every Eden there is a serpent, and those 
privileged beings who live there cannot 
in the end stand the perfection of Eden; 
the serpent in the end always forces 


ih to face themselves and so be 
driven out. 
Nor is the fact that one is sent in a 


1 capacity any guarantee of 
he American journalists and 
inesmen I met in Beirut all seemed 
well on the road to some crack-up or 
other. Beirut, to be sure, is not every- 
body's idea of paradise. The war with 
nextdoor Israel may break out again at 
any moment; every male above the age 


of ten seems to be armed; it is worth 
your life to attempt to cross a busy 
street; the government commits such va- 
garies as running out of postage stamps: 


people in apartment houses throw their 
garbage out the window. But despite all 
these and other drawbacks, Beirut has 
its unique magnetism. A magical Asiatic 
flux and mystery, а flow of exoticism 
engulfs you there, as pervasive as the 
sensual whine of the Arab music, 


ble, and nothing really 
matters, because you are so very far 
from realities of home. 

In Beirut you can lie on a 
ged beach and look up at the moun- 
tains not far inland, where skiers schuss 
n the sun. ble your last pi 
мег away glamorous casino. 
French restaurants, French stylishness, 
French quick.wittedness give a surface 
patina to the Asiatic substructure 

Here the American professional people 
were slowly going to pieces. Ralph 

n impor- 

American publication, went skin- 
ng in the Mediterranean every day 
4 filed only an occasional dispatch, 
which never seemed to see print. His 
Middle 
East and he flew off to investigate some 
story or other in the interior now and 
then. but it was very hard to pin down 
a fact in this part of the world, next to 
imposible to get a stra quivocal 
story from anyone, so nothing much 
med to come from these excur- 
s. Journalists who came in, found a 
story and got out before the ambi 


Summers, correspondent for 
m 


ph took me skindiving 
with him, After we had dived for a 
while, we returned to the rowboat and 
the boatman helped us clamber back 
board. Then, in the way that an Ameri- 
n might offer us a beer, he offered us 
a cigarette. I knew enough about Leba- 
non to know that it would contain the 


local I have never used 
na once or 
Twice with negligible results, so to be 


congenial, I took a few pulls. But this 
was not marijuana, this was kif dipped 
in opium, and in a matter of seconds 1 
was high atellite. 

The rest of that day and that night, as 
I added drinking to the kif and opium, I 
remember as ma of Oriental danc- 
ers in dark night clubs, of elegant houses 
of prostitution, of squalid back alleys, 
of vo streets, the whine of 
music shadowy interiors of 
very pri . and finally, because 
God take al care of drunks and 
ng back to my room at 
St. George's Hotel, picking up а book 
French, which I read haltingly, and 
stiling through it as though it were a 
firstgrade English reader. 

The next afternoon, when E woke up, 
my French was halting . my head 
splitti hing everywhere, 
and I wanted to die. 

"This kind of outing seemed to happen 
often to the Americans living there, 
Whether they were in journalism or 
public retations or oil, they dived deep 
into the Oriental. undercurrents of the 
Levant: but because they were not used 
to such a caressing climate and to such 


nia 


ag the dar 


body 


my 


PLAYBOY 


“ALL right, anything on the top shelf.” 


nulants, 


powerful sii they often. went 
overboard, started breakir 


The intrigue in Lebanon is as t 
molasses, and as sweet and slow-moving 
and sickly. You have to be born to it. It 
i erous, tolerable to the 
Lebanese because they are fatalists: and 
it they break their neck or lose their 


r 
fortune or their spouse, they have the 
phlegm to accept it. Others, the Am 
. the Britisher, the Scandin: 
in the fumes of this portal to the East, 
suller, alter, decline. 
But the true. safe ра 
ly not these decay 
ants, people will 
ing, simplehearted i 
‘There you will be sal 
1 arrived in Honolulu at three in the 
norning. Two nuns met me, threw leis 
round my neck and kissed me on the 
cheek. ‘Then they drove me to my pent- 
house on top of the Hilton Haw: 
Village Hotel (1 а guest speaker 
a convention of English teachers). Too 
overstimulated by my first whiff of the 
acific world to fall asleep, I sat out on 
my balcony and watched the dawn move 


ri- 


lost 


dise is sure- 
Mediterranean 
rgue. It is a smil 
nd in the Pacific. 


dominated the sleeping ocean. Waikiki 
Beach, a golden stip far below, slum- 
bered motionlessly as a cui 
surf murmured against it. OI to the 
left, Diamond Head extended into the 
sea with the profile significance of a face 
on Mount Rushmore. ‘The air seemed 
full of flower scents coming across the 
water from far aw. 

And the fascination of this Pacific 
world deepened when 1 spent several 
weeks оп the Kona coast of the Big Is- 
land of the group, also called Haw 


hg silver 


Rural, serene, the Big Island has such 
elem 


atal novelties as an active volcano, 
а Loa, which flings geysers of yel 
а hundreds of feet into the 


off the Kona coast is reputed to be the 
best deepsea fishing in the world. Jt 
good deal on the other side 
ad but just enough on the 
rilliandy green 
flowered; the natives are very 
everything seems. conducive to 
1 ideal life. 

Why, the 
after а time? Sooner or later, mainland- 
c overcome with an urge to drive 
r straight ahead for hundreds of 
miles without drowning, with a desper- 


Kona coast to keep it 
and 


set in 


le aver- 
nd the 


ate need for a chilly day, a teri 
sion to Lovely Hula Hands 
other overplayed, too restful songs, a 
longing for change. I believe you have 
to be born to the South Pacific islands 
in order to live on one of them content- 
edly. If they are not in your blood, they 
will sooner or later get on your nerves. 
The sameness will stille you. 

I had planned to push deeper into the 
Pacific world, to Samoa and Tahiti, but 
1 found that I did not want to. A palmy 
island is а palmy island, sun is sun and 
surf is surf. I had a growing 
that I was now as emancip 
gling with strange peoples 
would ever m nd 


and. cultures 
uch as I 


pursuing personal liberations abroad, a 
large section of the American young and 
notso-youny 

terms of bel 
ated people 


mong the most liber- 
the world. 


to writers like me ated my 
work as far as it was likely to. I turned 
my face back to East Coast United 
tes, where my roots were, and where 


life now looked more interesting and 
lenging, as well as more difficult 
(inflation, 


ci 


assassi 
t 


ions, 


riots, crime, 
ness) than any- 


wa 


-w 
the world. The United 


wh 
States was the cockpit of the world and, 
God help us, the wave of the fut 
Where else should a writer be if he wa 
a native of and heir to that country? 

After all, I had learned that it was not 
only futile but dangerous to seule in 
these idyllic places and attempt to [unc 
tion. І gave ир the vor. So | 
thought. But in the course of writing 
this article, I got a fresh look at myself 
and my situation. 

Right now 1 t my writing table. 
‘Through the big window in front of me, 
one of my dogwoods is flowering. Birds 
are chirping around me in my woods. 
"The house is cedar and glass, contempo- 
ign. It is next to а superb golf 
course, overlooking magnificent Peconic 
Bay and located in the Hamptons, the 
ideally beautiful eastern end of Long 
Island. 

I have just faced up to the fact that 
s place is another paradise, recog- 
ied as such everywhere. 1 never 
thought of it before, but now I see that 
And as I recognized 
ess crept over me. There 


nde: 


m 


somewhere in this 


is a serpe gorgeous 
countryside. There is always trouble 
Tahiti, Will I drink too much her 
Will the world pass me by? Am I being 
lulled by this perfect fresh these 
postcard villages, the surf, the sun? 
There is only one word for those of us 
who are compelled to pursue these 
dreams of paradise. Beware, 


CIRECOT POCTY 


а traffic problem with so much cr 
crossing and entangling of arms around 
the table that eating shifts into low gear. 
А much better plan is to allot a few pre- 
viously cooked dips in individual por- 
tions at each place at the table. Of 
course, the firepot is much more than 
just another wensil for cooking food: 
conversation thrives in the communal 
atmosphere that’s apparent. as soon 
the broth begins bubbling and continues 
to the end, when the host adds noodles 
nd a vegetable or two to the firepot and. 
serves it, in true Oriental style, as the 
finale to the dinner, (A wide, shallow 
chafing dish or an electric skillet can 
pinchhit for the firepot.) 


FIREPOT 
(Serves four) 


1 Ib. boneless shell steak or rib steak 
l breast of chicken (2 halves), boned 

and skinned. 
1 Ib. medium-size sli 
1 medium cucumber 
1⁄4 Ib. fresh firm mushrooms 
1 Ib. bean curd. 
1 small bunch bok choy (Chinese cab- 
bage) for soup 

1 Ib. snow. р 

Vj Ib. finesize noodles for soup 

2 quarts chicken broth 

Steak should be machine sliced by the 
butcher 1/1Gth in, thick and cut into 
pieces for by Lin. 
or as close to that size as possible. Shops 
specializing in Japanese foods frequently 
offer beef sliced in this manner. If the 
meat is bought in one piece, it may be 
semifrozen and then sliced by band. 
Separate fillet under top of chicken 
breast from rest of breast and pound 
е Het to. Win. 
thickness 
ps about 14 in. wide. Peel and devein 
рз and cut in hall lengthwise Peel 
cucumber, cut in half lengthwise and 
ove seeds with spoon. Cut crosswise 
slices. Cut mushrooms from 
top of cap through stem into tin. 
slices. Cut bean curd into 12 squares. 
Wash bok choy, cut oll root end and cut 
crosswi diagonal slices. Re- 
move tips and strings from sides of snow 
peas. Cook noodles in salted water until 
tender. Drain. Cover with cold water 
and store in until. neede 
On а very E or individual 
plates, in neat groups and as 

as posible, the steak, 
nps, cucumber, mushrooms, 
peas and bok choy. 


aps 


e into V4 


bean с 
Cover pl 
and refrigerate until. serving time. Just 
before serving, bring broth to а boil on 
kitchen stove and keep warm. Light 


snow 


when glowing hot, carefully place 
firepot, which should rest om asbestos 


(continued [rom page 93) 
pad or table protector 
of firepot with chicken broth to a depth 
of about 3 ins. Add more broth during 
dinner. if necessary; it reduces. during 
cooking. At cach guests place, there 
should be a pair of chopsticks or a fon- 
due fork for lilting food from platter to 
basket, a dinner plate, a soup bowl and 
а soup spoon—preferably, a Chinese 
porcelain spoon. At dinners end, the 
host drains noodles and adds them, 
along with the bok choy and amy re- 
maining snow peas, to the firepot for 
soup. 

Stand-ins for beef: leg of lamb or pork 
tenderloin. 

Stand-ins for shrimps: scallops, oysters, 
clams, sliced ab. 

Soy.and-scallion dip: Mix V4 cup soy 
sauce, Vj cup chicken broth, 2 table 
spoons cocktail y or sake and 2 
tablespoons very finely minced. scallions: 
serve cold. or at room temperature. 

Cuny dip: In top part of double 
boiler, blend 2 teaspoons cornstarch 


lone or small frogs’ legs. 


she 


ablespoon brandy; slowly stir i 
teaspoon soy sauce, 2 tablespoons vine- 
gar, 2 tablespoons sugar and 4 teaspoons 
curry powde very smooth, stir in 
1 cup stock; cook over simmering water, 
stirring constantly aud scraping bonom 
frequently, until thick; beat 2 
and slowly add а few 
to yolks: stir egg yolk mixture into suce 
and cook 14 minute longer, stirring c 
be served. warm, cold or at 
room temperature. 

Almond-sesame di] 
sesame se 
over low to moderate heat and stir con- 
stantly until seeds are browned; pour 
to blender and blend until pul- 
add v5 cup almond buter, y 
cold chicken broth and blend 
smooth; serve cold or at room 
temperature. 

Prepared condiments: prepared. Chi- 
nese mustard, plum sauce, hoisin sauce 
or puréed chutuey. 

So d and 


áblespoons. sauce 


Place 2 table- 


cup 
until 


ther rou 


cquainted. 


“No, Fred, I wouldn't care to swap wives. But I 
might consider renting mine lo you." 


205 


PLAYBOY 


206 


POWDER AND GLORY 


fanatic. Моя of my companions th 
week are successful bu TEE 
in their 40s, old jocks. of the 
rest are orthopedic surgeons, cheerful 
healthy men, slightly less fic than. the 
honchos, amiably determined. to com- 
plete the cirde ol their lives by plowing 
their bonesetting profits back into the 
snow. But not everyone here is loaded: 


css 


ve 


isurance or 


sell his car to set to where i 

ore are men here, 1 am certain 
wives and 
their banks that can't be kept, and one 


powder is 
who 


E] 
ri 


or two women who have doned 
their men with a kiss and. instructions 
for operating the drier. 


With c 
pass 


s avorunent of hard cises E 
the Yesterday mor 
in the lobby of the С 
we went thio 
tine with which every expedition begins, 


eve 


h the squinry-eved. rou- 


“Did you уай 


{continued from page 112) 

inspecting one another without del 
and wondering which unrevcaled. char 
acter would be die casualty, which the 
compliiner. Now everything is friendly 
d unaiticıl. We have agreed that we 
are splendid people. As the week pro 
reses, there will be minor modifica 
tions of this view, but now we apply 
ишш superior Irish liniment to 
Imined aches and exchange the 
fortable fribble of ski nes 


ced that the triple forward 
Hip is a baroque excess, outside the 
casic canon, then the most spectacular 
maneuver iuo recreational sk un 
doubtedly the greavcirde rome by 
which a beginner at powder skiing gets 
down a moun The great circle of 
fers speed. predicuble act 
heat! displays ol е 

blood on the sind, It is as sti 
xb train wreck. A New 


terior, an 


friend of mine, upon being excavated 
after his first great circle, which he per- 
formed on Bell Mountain at Aspen, said 


it all: “That was a pisah.” 
Piane your beginner, then, at t 
top of a big Steilhang. The Germ: 
word means "stcephang" and is expres- 
ive: the snow does not Не on the 
ground, it hangs on what is almost 


avakinche, Powder skiing is done on 
Nteilhangs, because when the powder is 
really deep. the pressure of it on the 
skiers thighs and waist would In 
him to a stop on а normal slope. Th 
powder skier needs steepness lor the 
same reason. du 
Last boat 

So the beginner, who is not а be 
ner but something of a hotshot back 
home on the packedlown trails he is 
used to, adjusts his goggles and his 
whitesilk scart, 


a water skier needs a 


and forchnger together ga 
steels his nerve. In addition, he steels 
arms, his backbone, legs and fect, and 


Thus, he d 


clenches his jaw. s totally 


as he launches on the great circle. The 
reason is panic, for his instincts and 
waining tell him that snow is a solid. 
Vhis solid now entangles his fect and 
skis (he believes with fear and trem- 
bling) and will cudi his edges and 
саш: him 10 cipsize over his ski tips, 
ripping out all the tendons in both legs. 
The only turn that can be made in deep 
snow in a condition of total rigidity is 


the stem. Given the steepuess of the 
slope, the arc of the stem turn made by 
the desperare begi 
kage. Ht is, in fact, the dreaded gr 
cle. The phy 
pe mean that the be 
ata sickening rate by tlie t 
to pull out of the down 
his dive 

At this poiut, the most insensitive on- 
looker turns away. Any variation in 
slope, snow texture, light or wattage of 
terror will cause the beginner to lose the 
balance he is fighting to keep and he 
Will, as pilots uscd to say in World War 
Two, IL iu pow- 
der s disistrous, since the 
stall. is soft, but it is alwa 


uc he stans 
"ill phase oL 


uger in. A highspeed 
is пос alw 


and 


s mesy 
always tiring. It is incredibly lard, on a 
steep slope at 9000 or 10,000. feet, to 
find and di skis and poles, clean 
and reset bindings, scrape snow oll boot 
bottoms, clamp the bindings and t 
swipe ar smeared sungliwes with the 
thumb of a wet ski glove. Ht is even hard 
10 stand. up before starting. this за 
operation, because the powder offe 
Moor to. push. ag The capsized ре 
ginner rages. If his control is steady, he 
rages silently, and if shrieks 
d cures. He he 


reaches his friends. 


ош 


по, he 


apologizes whe 


who are waiting in 


disgust on the flat below, but what 
his heart is murder. 

As it happens, 1 am past 
although r two sufferers 
group are not. I no longer perform my 
celebrated interpretation. of the great 
circle, because I have realized, after 
gering in more times thim now seem 
necessary, that powder snow is not a sol- 
id but a fluid. 1 respond to it with wl 
ever luidity 1 cam squeeze from a gri 
wkward body, and make uncal 
turns, My skiing is workmanlike. 

Workmanlike is not good enough, 
however. Look here: Sepp Renner, a 
. laughing kid from Andermatt, one 
of the Swiss guides, is going down a 
Steilhang. He carries the usual guide's 
rucksack, packed with a tent, stretcher, 
food, stove and jointed probe 10 use 
when som js caught а ava- 
lanche, 1 have skied with a rucksack 
enough to know that it limits what you 
can do, no matter how strong you are. 

Bur watch Sepp. He could ski like a 
stone, schuss the hang at flatout speed, 
and in complete control, but that is not 
what is on his mind. What he does is to 
swash from side to side down the fall 
line, so slowly that it does not seem pos- 
sible for motion to be arrested to that 
degree. It is a dance, He has filmed him- 
self in slow motion. 

The rest of us follow. Those who imi- 
ate well throw themselves down the 
hang without thought. The rest, and I 
am one of these, try to explicate the po- 
etry with close textual analysis. Observe: 
This exceptionally strong man uses no 
strength at all, and no quickness, only 
nce and serenity. Watch now: He 
‚2.1 build serenity from 
these Tinkertoys of technique. 

Beer in the sauna. An inordinate 
ner. Chess. 1 have cased the talent, know 
I can win and do win—my kind of gam- 
ble. I ascend to my upper bunk at 10:01 
and am asleep by 10:02. 

Hans Gmoser has appeared. He has 
been skiing to the north, in the Cariboo 
Mountains, where he runs a second he 
copter operation. He is thin, fairly tall; 
te man whose nner 
quality 1 have seen be 

Austria 
now, several racecar drivers 
ny It is hard to say 
ity is. Perhaps it is that 
and his conception of himself are 
more nearly congruent than is true of 
most m 

Gmoser (pronounced Gmoser; there 
is a run here called Gmadnes) runs a 
climbing school in the summer here in 
the Bugaboos. He has never done any 
but he did put a 
new route up Mou a few 
years ago. He tells a long, amusing, self- 
deprecating story about bivouacking on 


all 


this, 


itous 


о 


a tough, loose, а 
is quiet, He has 
fore 


one or two other 
сег» 1 


moun- 


others. 


1. 


McKinley in an igloo whose tunnel cn- 
trance eventually stretched to several 
ards, because snow fell without letup 
for four days. Several of us are sitting 
supper in the dining room of the 
boo lodge. It is w 


gf 


his partner craw 
ach day to get out 
ding past their bare bottoms at 100 
miles an hour a at to rel 
themselves, (The humor of mountain 
stories is a matter of viewpoint. Once 
some friends and I spent one night, not 
n ап emergency igloo that wc 


le, and of th 


snow 


whi: 


ing ıo death on a glacier in Switzerland. 
Nox one of us thought that it was funny 
at the time.) 

lins out to the helicopter at 7:15 
1 stop, unzip my kidney pack and 
look inside. The Skadi is there. 1 take it 
out and hold it to my car. It is beeping, 
s it should be. | knew it was in the kid- 
ney pack, beeping correctly, because I 
had checked both things ten minutes be- 
for t the Skadi is comforting. It is 
the single most effective piece of sur 
vival gear ever developed for skiing or 
climbing in avalanche country. 

The next-best safety measure, after a 
Skadi, is the forlorn system generally 
used in the Alps and in the rest of 
North America: You tie a long red 
ound your waist, let it trail be- 
I you and hope that part of it shows 
after the avalanche has buried you. The 
s a liule radio sender-receiver. И 
carrying one and are buried, 
ids switch their Skadis to re- 


your fri 
ceive and track you down. The method. 


is fast and accurate to about s 
We proved this one morning by exhum: 
ing Sepp, whom the other guides I 


buried with snow shovels while we 
Afterward Sepp mentioned, 
laughing and yell 
zardatüsch t his friends, iat. thi 
the second ti 
a party using Skadis. 
Sepp: the other time was last year. He 
was buried not by snow shovels then but 
by an avalanche, here in the Bugaboos 
I think I have it, We are at the bottom 
of an amiable escarpment named Ego by 
someone who tii 1, looked at 


ned aroun 


acks and found them good. Hot 
think, finding my track good, 
it looks just like the ski magazines! 


It even feels that way: straight down 
the face, a kind of dancing fall, astonish- 
ingly slow, with never a surface to touch. 
1 have heard the beat of great wings, 

For the rest of the run it works, 
and for a few pitches here and thi 
throughout the morning. Flight is not in 
myn grace, but for a 
short time I am an aerial being. 

The gods smile. As a reward [or skiing 
good snow more or less correctly, they 


ture, nor physi 


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mountainside crusted with 
kety bad snow. I am an 
nd this is the sort of briar 


send me a 
mean, ridged. 
Eastern skier 


patch 1 know and love. A few boulders 
and some frozen mud would make me 
feel even more at home, but the deep 
rest through which we 


те 
tute. ] run the 
y were slalom 


good sub 
big pine truuks as if thi 
poles, then hare olf on a wild series of 
jumps. One of the women skiers, a 
pretty Westerner with wind crinkles at 
the corners of her eyes, has fallen on the 
evil crust and is sliding down the hill- 
side on her slick nylon parka and wind 
pants, She is helpless: her 

increasing. but it is not 
either. Will she slide on until she is ar- 
rested by the Bugaboo lodge 1500 feet 
below? Will she miss the lodge and slide 
to the town of Spillimacheen, worn to a 
few nylon threads and а couple of eye 
crinkles? Not at all; the Green. Hornet 
at hand. He pulls jauntily out of 
a jump and stops her with his sin- 
сму body, unhurt but angry and sw 
ag like hell There is no end to 
my splendor. 


Ed, the р mild, square-shaped 
man in his | he is not flying 
skiers in the Bugaboos. he flies oil geolo- 
gists and drilling crews іп the arctic. 
The drillers, he says, are a hairy-cared 
bunch, bigmacho types, and some of 
them, on their first tours in the arctic, 
tend to think that safety rules are a bit 
candy-assed. ^1 had told this new guy. 
ays Ed, “that you don't throw. things 
near a helicopter. But he was a type w 
hadn't listened to anyone yet in his life 


105. Whi 


ho 


id he wasn't going to start with me. 
What he threw, when we were unload- 
ing a drilling rig, was а five-pound pack- 


age of dynamite, The package hit the 
rotor and detonated. The blast knocked 
а big piece of rotor off and the machine 
just about vibrated. itself to pieces. be 
fore 1 could get it shut off.” 

Ed does no downhill skiing, but he 
ndles the helicopter the way a down- 
hill racer would. Control is better at 
speed, he says. "I like to brake to a laud- 
ing with a flare, because it uses Less 
power. It looks flashy, but there's a rea- 
son, At sea level the Bell has 1100 ho 
power, but at 12,000 [cet it only turns 
about 800, and if you try 10 lower it 

aight down o but the en- 


noth; 


It is Friday evening. Tomorrow is 
ay day, The group is drawing 


apart and, by way of apology, its mem- 
bers are 
flown five h 
ble six, which is а 
least th 


ys out of a possi- 
sually good, and at 
these days have bee 


v of 


208 spectacular, unimprovable-on. Gmoser's 


reckoning is that I have skied 116,000 
vertical feet, which is about average for 
the group. 

It has been a good week, but the 
New England conscience—yes, thanks, 
nother Scotch, and some mor 


of those 


humm ds tongues—worries about 
the huge cost of helicopter skiing. Is the 
boo circus merely а particularly ex- 
ive instance of the suburbanization 
ng? A sport that once was clean 

айу simple is cheapened 
—thanks, just a touch more, and some 
ice—by glitter and glut. The 
too many credite: chines in 
country, and the rule holds: Anyth 
h plastic is plastic 
for a week 


are 
ski 


you can buy w 
Is it organic to p 
of helicoptering? 
IS not an easy question and I am in- 
clined 10 leave it open. Gmoser, who is 
а tastelul man, has taken the curse off 
conspicuous consumption by avoiding 
ny egregious luxury in the lodge. His 
tive and good, but it is 
caten on simple plank tables. The beds 
are comfortable, but they are bunks. 
You shave in a communal bathroom 
, who grew up in thin ti 
ria to a job as an clectrician’s ap- 
prentice, feels that the costs are out of 
He would like to run his op- 


sin 


but U.S. 
walk up mountains with skis and skins 
з any great numbers. And, as 1 know 
well enough. from ski-mountaineering in 
the Alps, if you climb 7000 fect in four 
active hours, you have very little energy 
left to spend on improving your deep- 
snow technique. If it is bad, it stays that 
The helicopte 
Holstein for two runs and still have en- 
ergy left to analyze his mistakes and sk 
like a Thomson's gazelle on the third. 

1 assuage the New England conscience 
—rare, please, “and some of the Bor- 
by meditating in this swampy 
n for 15 minutes and by going off 
with Gmoser on one of 


in the morni 


-andakin tours he runs each vea 
mostly to keep himself honest 

We start hom Banil, where Gmoser’s 
fim, Canadian. Mountain Holidays, has 
its olfice, and ride а bus to Sunshine, a 
ski area nearby, It is tremendously 
islyiug to be climbing on skis again and 
to leave the mashed-down 
slopes of Su of 
Mount Assiniboine, 


20 miles away ov 
The day skiers watch 


1 hor 

a very mixed group of M 
and among us is à һер 
who has gone trustfully to the camping 
store. In mild weather, he wears a down- 
stulled vest, down parka and down wind 
pants. He curies a large variety of 
splendid. gear, including а big still cam- 
era, a big movie camera and а bottle of 


whiskey. Within 250 yards of easy up- 
ward plodding, he is soaked with sweat 
and has turned dangerously red. We do 
what we can. We peel oll his feathers 
and that night we lighten his pack by 
drinking his whiske: 

The journey to Assi 


hoine takes two 
days at our easy pace. Halfway there, we 
sop at a trapper's cabin. It is crowded 
and J decide to sleep in the snow. Since 
І have a bivouac sack with me—a 1 
plastic bag, waterproof and w 
proof—the decision involves no risk, 
^d no more discomfort than sleeping 


on the cabin floor and having my col- 
leagues step on my face, But the begin- 
essed. In the morning. 


ner is much imp 
he puffs out of the cabin, banging his 
hands together to keep from freezing, 10 
view my Irozen corpse. 

Gmoser, it develops, admires Scandi- 
nmavian crosecountry wax. For an Aus 
wian, this is heresy, but he 
by a couple of old Norwe 
shiers, now Can. 
who are making the wip on marrow 
cross-country skis. (The rest o us, of 


nd 
walk.) The w 
Gmoser and th ns but not for 
me. I do not believe, and to walk uphill 
with wax, you must be a true believ 
am used to skins—fibrous nylon 
that allow even skeptics to climb with 
ease, I slip back two feet for every three 
ascend, like the frog in the riddle 

A warm log lodge. a frozen lake. а big. 
sharpspired. mountain, Assiniboine, ris- 
ing on the opposite shore, We spend 
three days there, climbing for а couple 


ly for 


of hours in the morning and a couple 
in the afternoon, and skiing what we 


climb. Ic is just мисти 
tify a lot of pleasant | 

On the walk out, at S000 feet in AL 
Tenby Pass, T hear a will humming that 
puzzles me. After a time, 1 understand. 
The wind has set the m 
of my pack frame to vibrating. 


to jus- 


For almost an hour one morning, we 
follow the fresh tracks of а running cou- 
r and a rabbit. Then the tracks veer 


oll. We never | 
A mile or so fa 
ster Creek 
the carcass of an elk that did not survive 
the winter. 

On our last night, а tough, elderly 
chemist who has made the trip produces 
a boule of overproot Canadian rum. He 
is a hero; he has packed it all the way 
to Assiniboine and halfway back. He 
non juice and magic 
rbs. We call the resulting potion the 
Allenby Pass, in honor of stifl 
thighs, and we celebrate, of course, the 


Allenby Passover. 


n who won th 
ther, crashed in 
nd we 


race. 
Brew- 
thered to scraps 


our 


“I feel so—so organic.” 


209 


PLAYBOY 


210 


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JOE FRAZIER, WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMP, DISCUSSES VIO- 
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“THE MIND CHANGERS''—A LOOK AT WHAT В. F. SKINNER'S 
DISCIPLES CAN DO TO ALTER HOMOSEXUALS, ALCOHOLICS, 
AUTISTIC CHILDREN . .. AND YOU—BY STEPHEN Н. YAFA 


“THE INVENTORY AT FONTANA BELLA"—AN OFFBEAT TALE 
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“GOING HOME”—TRYING TO RECAPTURE THE ESSENCE OF 
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THAT THOMAS WOLFE WAS RIGHT—EY C. ROBERT JENNINGS 


“THE DEAL FREAK"—YOU MAY NEVER HAVE HEARD OF 
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“THE DIGGER'S GAME"—SUSPENSEFUL CONCLUSION OF 
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Seven & Seven. 


alazy afternoon, a place 
you, and each other. 

Take your shoes off, build a crackling fire, 
and fill two large mugs with 7 Up and 
7 Crown, America’s light tasting 
whiskey. 

Then settle back, smile and 
make your first toast together. 

Seven & Seven. Easy to say. 
Easy to mix. And easy to enjoy. 


Seagram Distillers Co., N.Y.C. American Whiskey — A Blend. 86 Proof, 
“Seven-Up” and “7 Up" are registered trademarks identifying the product of the Seven-Up Company 


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