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ENTERTAI IME 4 SEPTEMBER 197 - ONE DOLLAR 


MIGOD! IS THAT 
WHAT'S GOING ON? 
A PLAYBOY PANEL 
ON NEW SEXUAL 

LIFE STYLES 


PROHIBITION: 
ORGANIZED CRIME 
GETS ITALL 

TOGETHER 


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"IT WAS A LOT 


ў 


CAR IN THE BEGI 


sa 
NNING 


AND IT’S A LOT MORE CAR TODAY.” moronen, 


That's a rave review from a tough critic: the basic car were carved out of a 


Motor Trend. So when their technical 
editor said our TRO (below) is сусп 
more of a sportscar than the classic 
TR2 (above) —both winners in national 
and international competition— we 
wanted you to know about it. 

But aside from talking about the 
TRO heritage, they had a lot to say 
about the car itself. "There is a feeling 
of almost awesome solidity, as though 


single block of steel” That solid feeling 
comes from the TR6's taut, low-built 
chassis with rugged 4-wheel indepen- 
dent suspension. It’s a car for precise 
driving, crafted by engineers who 
really understand sportscars. 

And the magazine's description of 
it having "long-legged go-forever 
performance” from its high torque 
6-cylinder engine will be agreed by 


‘TRG drivers anywhere: or by people 
who have simply driven in one. 

Even though we've been improv- 
ing and evolving the TR series for 
two decades, it wouldn't be the great 
sportscar it is today, if it hadn't been 
great to begin with. 


THE CLASSICALLY BRITISH 
TRIUMPH TR-6 


FOR NAME OF YOUR NEAREST TRIUMPH DEALER CALL: 800-447-4700. IN ILLINOIS CALL 800-322-4400. BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS INC., LEONIA, N.J. 07605 


Where-To-Buy-It? Use REACTS Card— Page 61 


PLAY BILL 2220 version of 
M*A*S*H, wrecked 
and overworked Army doctors traded one- 
liners over some poor bastard's intestines, 
and in The Hospital, George С. Scott. 
sceilied with rage while patients died of 
neglect in his admitting room. But those. 
were just films, right? Well, we weren't 
sure how far medical truth strayed from 
fiction, so we assigned writer Roger Ra- 
poport to spend a month finding out, He 
visited a dozen or so hospitals and talked 
to more than 100 people—doctors, nurses, 
administrators—and what he learned is 
I's Enough to Make You Sick. “Perhaps 
the worst danger in medicine today,” he 

ays, “isn't understaffed hospitals, places 
like Chicago's Cook County, but doctors 
nd hospitals who'll admit patients for 
anything. Oyertreatmentis just as perilous 
to а patient's health as undertreatment, 
‘There's one doctor in Southern California 
whose answering service has the authority 
to admit patients to his hospital. That's 
how absurd it gets.” Rapoport came away 
from his experience believing that it’s bet- 
ter to take two aspirins and go hide where 
they can’t get their hands on you 

Peter L. Sandberg covers his mostoften- 
traveled ground in our lead fiction about 
a group of mountaincers, Galloway's 
Climb. “Probably halb the stories I've 
written, beginning with my ver} 
back in 1959, have had climbing as the 
Sandberg ү 
good. deal of the real thing. “ 
worked very hard at climbing during the 
Sixties, but 1 quit after a nearly fatal fall. 
So now I just write about it.” He may 


find hi Ыс. a physically safe 
place, but Sandberg’s recent work pace 


atens to induce vertigo. In addition 
hing the fiction seminar at North- 
stern 1 у. he has written two 
novels, Billy and The Incident on Wolf 
Mountain (another dimbing adventure), 
plus the short story in this issue, in the 
past year. 

In researching City Wheels: A Two 


niver 


Way Street, Brock Yates first tried out a 
that 


sleck, $389 engincless twoscater 
moves just as fast as you can pe 
then—at the opposite end of the econom- 
їс, aesthetic and every other scale—drove 
a new $10,000 chrome-on-chrome Stutz, 
Says "I don't know where these two 
trends will lead. Going in one direction, 
anounced а 
0,000 production car п the other, 
the quest for uncomplicated transporta- 
tion is best represented by the fact that 
Adidas sneakers are selling like crazy.” 
The premise for Paul Krassner's satiri 
cal Thomas Eagleton Seagull is evident— 
and funny—enough in its title. And at the. 
outset, thar’s all Krassner had. “The паше 
came first—Thomas Fagleton Seagull. 
1 mean, the rhythm is so perfect, and I 
thought that’s really all there was in 
the notion—a pun." How wrong he was. 
Krassner, editor of The Realist, is going to 


be including longer version of the 
satire plus other stories in a book to be 
published this winter. And he's up to lots 
more oreriness: "I'm writing the script 
for a porno flick for old-timers called. 
Deep Guns.” 

Linda Lovelace would no doubt re- 
gard oral sex among tootliless geriatrics as 
something to look forward to, for as Fur as 
Deep Throat’s star is concerned, йз 
matter of whatever turns you on—as she 
tells fellow members of our Playboy 
Panel on New Sexual Life Styles. Besides 
Linda, the group ranges from Al Gold- 
editor of Screw, to psychoanalyst 
Ernest van den Haag, who testified 
inst Deep Throat in the lawsuit that 
banned it in New York. РІАҮПОҮ Con- 
ibu or Richard Warren Lewis, 
who moderated the discussion, tells us he 
was so fed up with sex after the panel was 
ished that "T went to Walt Disney mov- 
es every night for a week.” 

Calvin Trillin wavels constantly back 
and forth across the country to write his 
regular New Yorker feature, “U.S. Jour- 
nai,” and he now reveals himself, in The 
Sarong Comes from Saks, to be а truly 
knowledgeable international tourist, 
demonsuated by his surprising but un 
arguably sound advice: While you're 
reading in those travel brochures about 
shimmering lagoons and secluded strands 
abioad—hoping against hope that every- 
thing they say and show turns out to be 


| 4- 
F: 


RAPOPORT SANDBERG 
۲ کے‎ 


TRILEIN 


true after you've paid out your 5483 tour- 
ist class to get there—keep in mind that 
Youngstown will never let you down. 
More superb reading fare this month 
The King Is Dead, Walter Tevis fictional 
account of chess opponents wha try to 
checkmute cach other's confidence with 
dirty little tricks: Goblin Market, Chris- 
tina Rosseiti’s nursery poem (from а new 
collection of V iry tales, Beyond. 
the Looking Glass, edited by Jonath: 
Cott and introduced by Leslie Fiedler. to 
be published by Stonehill in September), 
series of erotic 
intings by Kinuko Crafu 
and James Powell's whimsical spy story, 
The Dec on the Finger. There's also A Star 
15 Made, with photos of Lee Meredith by 
Cal Fischer; гілувоу Assistant. Articles 
Editor С. Barry Golson's college-curricu 
lum catalog, College (Yawn) Is Tougher 
than Ever (Z Z-Z-Z)—wmust reading for to. 
his feverish pursuit of 
higher indolence; Part П of Playboy's 
History of Organized Crime, with illustra- 
tions by Seymour Fleishman and Chuck 
ucl Greenberg's What a 
Friend We Have in Cheeses; Robert L. 
Green's campus fashions for The Upbeat 
Undergrad, photographed by Stephen 
Ladner; and Anson Mounts Playboy's 
Pigskin Preview of the top college teams 
the country. All in all, a well-balanced 


vol. 20, no. 9—september, 1973 


PLAYBOY. 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILL...... == шге. = з 
DEAR PLAYBOY.. = "n 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. meee €— 2 
ACTS AND ENTERTAINMENTS = =i tm ri 
BOOKS... б - 24 
MOVIES - . % 
RECORDINGS. ا‎ 2 
THEATER .... . 44 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR. == 2 Ld 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM... = d 
PLAYBOY PANEL: NEW SEXUAL LIFE STYLES— discussion La] 
CAILOWAY'S CLIMB—fiction .. PETER 1. SANDBERG 100 
Stor Struck А STAR 15 MADE—pictorial___ - 105 
IT'S ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU SICK—orticle ROGER RAPOPORT 112 
GOBLIN MARKET—ribold classic CHRISTINA ROSSETTI 115 
CITY WHEELS: A TWO-WAY STREET modern living BROCK YATES 122 
THOMAS EAGLETON SEAGULi—satiro PAUL KRASSNER 124 
WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN CHEESES —food EMANUEL GREENBERG 127 
A MATTER OF DEGREES—playboy's playmate of the month Tue ~ 128 
Goblin Market PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor. cer db EI] 
MATH GOES NINI— modern living EAn 
THE ВЕЕ ON THE FINGER—fiction .... JAMES POWELL 143 
PLAYBOY'S HISTORY OF ORGANIZED CRIME—article RICHARD HAMMER 145 
THE KING IS DEAD—fiction WAITER TEVIS 152 
THE SARONG COMES FROM SAKS—aerticle 2, CALVIN TRILUN 155 
“THE NAKED APE" — pictorial. etel EE I 
APE" GIRL— pictorial... хр СУЗ 
торо mesi THE VARGAS GIRL— pictorial. AIBERTO VARGAS 169 
PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW—sports ...ANSON MOUNT 171 
COLLEGE (YAWN) IS TOUGHER THAN 
EVER (Z-Z-Z-Z)—hu mor... С. BARRY GOLSON 175 
THE UPBEAT UNDERGRAD—attire ROBERT L. GREEN 177 
ON THE SCENE— personalities. ee 190 
SYMBOLIC SEX—humor DON ADDIS 203 
ондо | Chester P. 127 PLAYBOY POTPOURRI... тте 


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WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SENIFICTION Ih THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL PEOPLE ANO PLACES IS 
PURELY COINCIDENTAL CREDITS: COVER: PHOTOGRAPHY EY J. FREDENICK SMITH, DESIGNED BY ARTHUR PAUL. OTHER PHOTOGFAFHY BY, EILL ARSENAULT. P. 1. 127, BENNO, P. 74, THE BITTMAN 
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P. 3. зов сүнынє, P13 (2D: 30 ANN MILES, Р. э: 1. BARRY O'ROURKE. P. 73 0); 


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т\з GD; SHOTWELL, P. 143, VERNON L- SMITH, P- 3, 72, MONT TADOER, P. 74. Uist. 116 47. 148 (9). CHUCK WOOD, 


PLAYBOY, SEPTEMBER. 1973. VOLUME 20. MUNDER P PUOLISHED MONTHLY GY PLAYBOY, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYEOY BUILDING. SIS NORTH HICMGAN AVENUE. 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 00011, SECOND-CLISS POSTAGE РАО AT CHICAGO. ILLINOIS. AND AT ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES SUBSCRIPTIONS: IN THE UNITED STATES, $10 FOR ONE YEAR. 


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PLAYBOY 


There were more cuts on my face than on my records... 


"Good-bye 


NICK 


My name is Tim Wheeler. | started singing for free 
beer, then the General discovered me and | was asked to sing at 


» 


a concert at the foot of Mount Rushmore. 


My songs talked of the quiet, 


peaceful life. But people were no- 
ticing the bandages on my face. | 
always nicked ond cut myself / 
when | shaved. People called 
me" Nick: There were more {7 
cuts on my face than on my 
records. The Generol called 
me out on the veranda 
“Nick; he said." They can- 
celled your appearance at 
Rushmore. | can't sell о peace- 
ful singer who looks like his 
appearance at Madison а 
Square Garden wos а М» 
ienrounder instead ofa = 
concert. Good-Bye Nick" 
On the bus for Atlanta | told 
а guy my story. From his card- 
boord satchel he took out a 
razor. "This is o Gillette Tech- 
matic” razor" he said. "Instead of 
blades with sharp corners that * 
con cut and nick your face, it hos a 


у 


continuous rozor band all sofely en- 
closed in a cartridge. And it's adjust- 


able to your skin and beard, for a smooth, safe shave" 


1 bought a Gillette Techmatic, 


Em v Wi 


бле Gerte Company, Baston. tt 


2 


and got great shaves. | sang at 


the foot of Mount Rushmore, and it 
v. was all up from there. 


th GilletteTECHMATIC 
it's good-bye Nick. 


PLAYBOY 
HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 
ARTHUR KRETCHMER executive editor 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 


SHELDON WAX managing editor 
MARK KAUFFMAN photography editor 


MURRAY FISHER, NAT LEHRMAN 
assistant managing editors 


EDITORIAL 
DAVID nont «аот, GEOFFREY 
NORMAN asociale editor, 6. WARRY GOLSON 
assistant ditor e FICTION: ROME MACAULEY 
editor, STANLEY PALEY asociale editor, 
SUZANNE MG NEAR, WALTER SUBLETTE assislant 
editors « SERVICE FEATURES: TOM OWIN 
modern. living editor, ROCER WIDENEK assist 
emt editor; «OBERT t. GREEN fashion director, 
DAUD FLATT associate fashion director, МА 
TER HOLMES fashion editor; YROMAS. MARIO 
food & drink editor + CARTOONS: MICHELLE 
Чину editor » COPY: ARLENE novuas editor 
SIAN AMER assistant edilor = STAFF: MICHAEL 
LAURENCE, ROBERT J. SUA, DAVID STEVENS 
senior editors; LAWRENCE GONZALES, REG POT- 
FERION, DAVID STANDISH, CRAIG VETTER staff 
Writers; DOUGLAS BAUER, WILLIAM. J. HELMER, 
GRETCHEN MG NEFSE, CARE SNYDER associate 
editors; DOUGLAS C. RENSON, J. к. O'CONNOR, 
JAMES k, PETERSEN, ARNIE WOLFE assistant 
; SUSAN HELER, MARIA NEKAM, BAR- 
15, RAREN PADDERUD, LAURIE SADLER, 


T. ZIMMERMAN research edilor. 

UL Gerry (busines & finance), 
Nero HENIOF HARD WARREN LEWIS, 
TAY RUSSELL, JEAN SHEPHERD, JOHN skow, 
BRUCE WILMANSON (movies), TOM! UNGERER 
contributing editors = ADMINISTRATIVE 
SERVICES: Tro FREDERICK personneldivector: 


CIA PAPANGELIS. administrative editor: 
RINE GENOVESE sights & permissions: 
Deen ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant 


ART 
том STAEBLER, кеки: POPE associate directors; 
н. MICHAEL SISSON executive assistant; 
HOST, ROY MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET SU 
DON MORTENSEN, FRED NELSON, JOSE! 
ALERED ZELCER avian directors; JULIE 
VICIOR HUBBARD, GLENN STEWARD arf а 


LERS, 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
YN GRABOWSKI t coast editor; 
GARY COLE, HOLLIS WAYNE associate edilors; 
зил. SUMITS lechnical editor; BILL ARSENAULT, 
DON AZUMA, DAVID СНАХ, RICHARD TEGLEY, 
DWIGHT HOOKER, POMPEO posan staff photog. 
raphers; mamo сапал, вил. and MEL Feet, 
BRIAN D, HENNESSEY, ALENAS URBA contributing 
photographers; JUDY JOHNSON assistant edi 
for; LEO KRIEGI photo lab supervisor; JANICE 
BERKOWITZ MOSES chief stylist; KOBER CHLLIUS 
administrative editor 


PRODUCTION 
Jons masiko director; N YARGO man- 
ager; ELEANORE WAGNER, RIIA JOHNSON, 


MARIA MANDIS, RICHARD QUARTAROLI assistants 


READER SERV 
CAROLE CRAIG director 


CIRCULATION 


inomas C. WILLIAMS customer services: 

AWIN WIEMOLD subscription manager; 

MNCENT аномезох  neaswaud manager 
ADVERTISING 


HOWARD W. LEDERER advertising director 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC, 
KOBERT S. PRELSS business manager and 
associate publisher; RICHARD з. ROSENZWEIG 
executive assistant to the publisher; 
mensio м. Korr assistant publisher 


Acme has been ihe biggest 
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time. So, a few years back when 
we decided the rest of the world 
was ready for boots, we intro- 
duced Dingo® fashion boots. 
Soon Dingo was the most 
wanted boot in the West, the 
East, everywhere. Because they 
make it with today's high-style 
clothes. And that goes for im- 


ported Dingo Royal Barons®, too. 
Dingos have the look men want. 
At prices you want to pay. 

For authentic western boots, 
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more than just style and crafts- 

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keepussensiblypriced. Because 
we don't think you should spend 
a fortune to look like a million. 


Acme. 
Because there's a lot of 
the West in all of us. 


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DEAR PLAYBOY 


E] sores PLAYBOY MAGAZINE - PLAYEOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


AND THAT'S THE WAY HE IS 
Your Joe Frazier interview in March 
was poorly timed, but you more than 
made up for this lapse by publishing 
your interview with Walter Cronkite 
(Lavuoy, June) in the midst of the Wa- 
tergate developments. Му congratula 
wer, Pulitzer Pr 
and to FLAYuoyY for 
being on top of the news. 
Pat Murray 
Agincourt, Ontario 


Much of the present agony of this Ad- 
i ion might have been avoided if 
the President had taken : 
nd held regular press conferences. The 
President would have more readily recog- 
nized the depth of the Watergate di- 
Jemma and presumably would have acted 
much ecarlier—thus avoiding the cover- 
up. There is no question in my mind that 
igh Government figures, including the 
President, need to be regularly exposed 
to the probing questions of the press. 
Politicians not only give inforr 
they also learn in these sessions. 
Senator Henry M. Jackson 
United Stares Sei 
Washington, D.C. 


ме 


Jt is remarkable that the knowledge- 
able Cronkite could be unaware of the 
blatant fakery of TV news in general and 
CBS news in particular. Once, for exam- 
nfant was fobbed off on. 
the viewing public as a victim of malnu- 
trition in a CBS documentary on hunger 
And anyone who has ever seen a TV 
camera crew at work knows how they se- 
d ask their news 
subjects to put on an extra performance 
to further sensationalize the event, My 
advice to Cronkite: Take another good, 
d look at your profession—from the 
top on down—and see it for the sensa- 
tionsecking, opinion mokding monopoly 
it has become. 

Joseph W. Goldzieher, M.D. 

San Antonio, Texas 


Cronkite has served the radical liber; 
Jefe well, I doubt that Hitler's press 
served that dictator any better. I only 
hope the American people will not be as 
gullible as the Germans, who believed 
only what their press told them. W 


bso. 


PLAYBOY, SEPTEMBER, 1273, VOLUME zo, NU) 


Tue YEARE, KIO FOR ONE YEAR. ELSTWMENE ii 
CE OF ADERESS: SEND BOTH OLD AND NEW ADDRESSES TO PLAYBOY, 
(ANGE, MARKETING: ROBERT A, GUTWILLIG, MARKETING DIRECTOR: 


lutely need a free press, but we do not 
need the unfair, one-sided reports we see 
on CBS TV. 


Mary Richardson 
Millersport, Ohio 


1 found Mr. Cronkite's comments in- 
sighiful and entertaining. 
Senator Sam J. Ervin, Jr. 
United States Senate 
Washington, D.C. 


Your interview with Walter Cronkite is 
another example of the kind of compre- 
hensive quality we've come to expect 
from PLAYBOY. 
Senator Charles H. Percy 
United States Senate 
Washington, D.C. 


NO FLASH IN THE PAN 
George MacDonald. Fraser's three-part 
Flashman at the Charge (rtavtov. 
May and June) is absolutely 
marvelous. Fraser is alternately terrifying 
and funny. His facility with words and 
the larger aspects of writing is truly 
wonderful. Tl 


Dr 
lifornia. 


merson's evocative portrait ol 
wartime Saigon in We Are All “Bui Doi” 
June) really touched me. I 


part of the though I thought I 
hated the city, I found myself missing it 
soon alter 1 left. Every Gl—whether he 
liked the place or not—shares one impres- 
sion to which Emerson so correctly al- 
ludes in her article: The Vietnamese 
hated us and everything we represented. 
David L. Stoner 
Westminster, California 


Emerson is hardly unbiased on the 
subject of Vietnam. Three years ago, T 
auended a production of Hansel und 
Gretel at the National Music Conserv 
Saigon. While the opera was in- 
tended for young Vietnamese, its opening 
night rightly became a celebration for its 
backers, since they had succeeded in doing 
something positive with no encourage- 
ment from the U.S. Mission. In response, 
Miss Emerson wrote a stingingly bitter 


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PLAYBOY 


12 


denouncement of the group's eflorts. She 
иней all concerned. as 
about the Viet 
Succeeding performances, howevei 
which played to packed audiences of ст 
chanted Vietnamese children and young 
adults, went unnoticed by the pre 

Her We Are All “Bui Doi" is in the 
same vein. Beginning with a damningly 
dismal picture of her hotel room (most 
visitors are charmed by the colonial am- 
bience of the Hotel Continental). Ете 
son goes on io imply that Christmas was 
largely ignored in Saigon (not by many 
Saigonese of my acquaintance) and re 
tates how she attempted to interfere with 
the arrest of a Saigonese demonstrator 
(an act that doubtless failed to endear 
her to the U. S. Mission or to the Vietnam- 
¢ government). While such copy sells 
spapers and magazines, it hardly does 
€ to the Vietnamese or to those 
icans and other members of Saigon's 
community who contrib- 
а more positive way to the lot of 
ravaged country. 

Gordon R. Bachlund 
Los Angeles, Califor 

Writer Emerson replies: 

Wrong, wrong, wrong. The American 
who organized the “Hänsel und Gretel” 
project happened to be Mrs. Samuel Ber- 
ger. If she had not been the wife of the 
U.S. Deputy Ambassador, she might not 
have been so successful. Twenty-nine 
American business concerns in Saigon. 
contributed nearly $7000 for the produc- 
tion of this German opera, written in 
1893, which was sung in English and ran 
for five performances. Mr. Weston Anson, 
of Foremost Dairies, who helped with the 
fund vaising, told me: “A lot of people 
Turned us down. They said, ‘You're crazy. 
Гое got better things to give my money 
10." Anson told me, however, that he 
thought the opera would be good for the 
morale of American businessmen in Sai- 
gon. Mrs. Peggy Steinle, ап American 
writer who was publicity chairman for 
the project until she learned of its hor- 
rendous costs, said, “If they are going to 
bring culture to this country, why don't 
they help the culture that already exists?” 
Western opera is unfamiliar to the Viet- 
namese, and й was outrageous to use the 
money in this way. 


One fact overlooked in your Viemam 
h accompanied Emerson's 
ticle, is the cost per man of those killed by 
the US and South Vietnamese forces 
dwing the war. Using your figures, it 
ds off to $135,000 per V.C. or N. V. A. 
certainly the most expen- 
n cost in world history. 
Bill Mi 


dead—which 
уе exter 


ALBERT EINSTEIN, SUPERSTAR 
Thank you for Richard D. Smith's fas- 
cinating report on some little-known 


aspects of Albert career (Holly 
woods Neglected Genius, PLAYBOY, 
June). As a great admirer of Einstein, 1 
would very much like to know what 
Smith's reference sources were. А recent 
by Banesh Hoffmann and 
„ Albert Einstein: Creator 
and Rebel, presents much of the phys- 
icis humor but mentions nothing 
about movies. 


anie 


Willi; 
Glendale, Californi 


Huzzah to Smith for a crack job of 
bringing Albert Einstein's film carcer 
to light. Smith's contribution, in my 
humble opinion, is not only a literary 
event in itself but stands as a near penul- 
timate expression of the auteur theory. 
Nevertheless, 1 was grieved (and a trille 
surprised, I might add) that through some 
inexplicable oversight, Smith failed to 
mention the director physicist-visionary’s 
оъ, spectacular filmic achievement, the 
1921 classic Ben Hair, in which he co- 
starred with silentmovie great Ramo 
Novarro. To the dismay of film buffs the 
world over, the Einstein-Novarro collab- 
oration was short-lived. All existing prints 
of Hair were destroyed in a studio fire 


that resulted when a nonunion 
used his klieg lights during inventory. 
Alas, all that remains of n's and 
Novarro's work is this photograph taken 
at an on-the-set party given by MGM ex- 
ccutives to celebrate the film's comple- 
tion. Novarro's the one on the ri 

Lloyd Ситу 

Philadelphia. 


Peunsylyii 


Maybe I'm just а stodgy s.o.b., but I 
Ч to detect the humor in Smith's 
article. I hope we'll be spared such put. 
ons in the (шиге, 
Cornel G. Ormsby 
San Bernardino, California 
What рио? 


CRAZY LIKE A FOX? 

Alfred Kazin's June article, The Writer 
as Political Crazy, is remarkably well 
done. It goes to the very heart of why 


lirerature (poetry. especially) is dying a 
w death in this century. 

Jerry Lansche 
Chesterfield, Missouri 


Karin seems to believe that literatur 
oing to the dogs and attributes its im- 
pending demise to the political craziness 
of literary rage. Apparently, Kazin can't 
understand why writers like Jean Genet 
and Sylvia Plath get so mad about certain 
aspects of 20th Century life. But then. 
Kazin was never a woman or a bastard 
homosexual thief. He hasn't felt ex- 
ploited or oppressed. so how can anyone 
else? Behind his spurious analysis, built 
mostly on amateur. psychologizing, there 
is an equal rage in Kavin—the rage of 
е careerist who yearns to re- 


ticism was “the 
ture harmless.” 


of rendering litei 


Richard Wiltshire. 
Joseph, Oregon 


To call such writers as William Butler 
з. T. S. Eliot and D. H. Lawrence 
right wing or reactionary, and then to 
suggest a continuity of purpose betwecn 
them and Ше National Socialists in Ger- 
to evade the critics basic re 
ity to tell the truth. Despite 
superficial resemblances in ideology, these 
7 reactions against modern society 

had very little in common with fascisi 
n attempt to freeze the 

quo and strengthen German capi 

m; these literary "reactionaries," on 
the other hand, were as disdainful of the 
capitalist status quo as they were united 
munist alternative. Yeats 


T'ascis 
statu 


m was 


ted Fascist; his alignment with the Blue 
Shirts was tenuous and quickly repudi 
ated. Kazin implies that such a concern 
for politics was, in itself, misguided. Yet 
his attack on th as-prophet” school 
of thought remains ambivalent. Kazi 
seems to want it both ways: He under 
stands that the poet's responsibility to so- 
ciety is not саъйу ignored but lashes out at 
those writers whose political statements 
were naive, unwise or even socially пох 
us. What's missing from his essay is the 
d of historical perspective that would 
e led him to ask: “Did the social cir- 
particular time demand a 
write 


cumstances of 
political response from a give 
And, if so, what were his politi 
ions?" In Ycats's case, there was п 
sition to the conservative, "pr 
government of Ireland, except Geni 
Duflys Blue Shirts. Like many of us 
today, and quite possibly many of the 
writers Kazin cites, Yeats was forced to 
make the painful choice between political 
ness” and political irrelevance. 
Lee Rossi 
Los Angeles, Galifornia 


It appears that the last thing Kazi 
wants is for artists to respond to the 


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social chaos around us. And if a particular 
political pronouncement o£ a poet sounds 
crazy, so what? Kazin would do well to 
remember literary history. Dostoievsky, 
Gogol and Balzac, for instance, all had a 
revolutionary impact upon readers, yet 
all were deeply conservative men. It is 
improbable that, in the broadest social 
sense, a writer is aware of the objective 

nce of what he writes. 

Eva Hesse 

Munich, West Germany 


Kazin replies: 
Literature is not “dying a slow death 
in this century” norgoing to the dogs.” 
I gave many examples of the creative, 
revolutionary, prophetic achicucments of 
the first-class writers who are my life. But 
2 also showed that in our time, the polit- 
ical opinions of many writers, though 
often as subjective and intellectually use- 
less as the political opinion of even great 
агыз can be, have been humanly irre- 
sponsible. I was writing about facts. The 
murder of approximately 6,000,000 Jews 
by the Nazis is a fact. Ezra Pound shriek- 
ing on the fascist radio about "nig 
and “Yids” is a fact. T. S. 
tempt for the attempts of the English 
working classes to better themselves is a 
fact. Not one of these letters has a word 
to say about the tragedy of Europe and 
the mutilation of Western culture under 
fascism and communism. Not one of 
these letters refers to a single poem by 
Pound, for example, or quotes a single 
opinion of his. But what enthusiasm for 
“art” in the abstract, for "rage" as neces- 
sary to “creativity”! Rossi doesn't know 
anything about Nazi nihilism if he 
thinks Hitler murdered all those people 
10 preserve German capitalism. He con- 
fuses Yeats’s personal passion for action 
at any price with the political frustration 
of the Irish people. 1 share Miss Hesse’s 
respect for the great writers, but on 
Pound, I was writing about a direct in- 
stigalion lo race hatred and murder. 


enough, it was 
the most preem У 
Hugo. In one Hugo novel, а character 
who endangered a ship by an act of negli- 
gence and then saved it by an act of her 
oism was bemedaled, embraced and shot. 
Charles F. Wetherbee 
Los Angeles, California 


L MYSTERY TOUR 
here semibombed on Marsh- 
xher dills, cont 
ics of hitting, the shift 


tion that I have just ingested 89 inches of 
the best parody this side of Lampoons- 
ville. Laurence Gonzales’ take-off on the 
work of Carlos Castaneda, The Teachings 


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Use REACTS Card— Page 61 


of Don Wow: A Gringo Way of Knowl- 
edge (PLAvnoy, June) is simply great 
Will Hertzberg 
Los Angeles, California 


145 yet anoth- 
er dimension to the already perplexing 
world view of Don Juan. Don Juan 
speaks of "doing" and “not-doing.” (In 
Journcy to Ixtlan, for example, he states: 
“Take that rock for instance. To look at 
is doing, but to sce it is not-doing.”) 
onzales, however, reveals that there is 
aspect of human perception, that 
doing nor not-doing. In other 
words, Gonzales neither understands Don 
Juin nordoing) nor produces апу 
thing valuable even on the mundane 
level (ie, doing). Actually, Gonzalcs 
ought to be able to “see.” Carlos Ca 
neda, the author of the Don Juan books, 
fails to "see" primarily because he insists 
on trying to explain everything from a 
rational viewpoint. Gonzales has already 
transcended that limitation. Even so. it is 
dear that he docs not 
Charles S. Prebish, Ph.D. 
Assistant Professor of Religious 
Studies 
Pennsylvania State Uni 
University Park, Pe 
Nor do we. 


GAMBLIN’ MEN 
I found Jon Br n 
of two gamblers, Winners and Losers, as 
down to earth as any article Гуе read 
Bradshaw's writing touched me person 
since both my father and my step- 
father have been heavy gamblers, Al I 
like Bradshaw, I looked down 
g road. From a distance it 
be paved with gold, but from up 

close it's mostly lined with tears. 
(Name withheld by request) 

Thomaston, Maine 


Bradshaw obviously knows what he’s 
talking about. The man he selected as his 
ype of a winning gambler, W. C. 
son, turns out to be just that. 
In late May, Pearson won first prize (and 
$120,000) in the fourth annual world 
series of poker, held in Las Vegas. 

‘old Demeter 
Chicago, Illinois 


BEST 

bert's Where the West Has Gone 
(rLaynoy, June) is, without a doubt, the 
best cowboy article I've ever read. 1 am a 
real, honest-to-yoodness cowboy and аш 
glad a major magazine like yours has fi 
nally recognized that the West hasn't 
really died. Like Casey Tibbs, whom Gil- 
bert profiled in his article, I've led a ful 
filling and enjoyable life. Thanks for 
publicizing the straight life of the cowboy. 
You guys are all right in my book. 

Mike McDonald 
Canyon, Texas 


Some ofthe 
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Time to learn the value of 
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There's also the opportunity 
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McKESSON LIQUOR CO. N.Y, N.Y 80 PROOF LIQUEUR. 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


Ae named Enid Flabby, 78, saved 
her pension money for two years to 
rent London's Nuderama Club for a mati 
nee performance. “I've always wanted to 
be a stripper,” she told shaken onlookers, 
ur I never got any offers, because I'm a 
bit on the heavy side.” At the conclusion 
of her performance, she expressed her 
sympathy for a man in the audience who 
was injured during her routine when he 
tied to escape via a fire exit. 


Above an article describing the Pr 
dent's announcement of price ceilings on 
beef, pork and lamb, the Duke University 
Chronicle added this rousing headline: 
“NIXON HOLDS RISING MEAT. 


In Johannesburg, the 
Christinc 


Two cultures 
movie censors ruled that The 
Jorgensen Story may be viewed by South 
Africans only if the audience is sexually 
segregated. Meanwhile, up in Canada, the 
computerized renewal application for an 
Ontario drivers license now contains a 
blank to be filled in if the licensee has un- 
dergone a sex change. 


The University of Nevada at Reno is 


offering a course in "advanced techniques 
lor professional student 
Consumers Union, take note: BELOW 


STANDARD IN QUALITY, reads the label on a 
vestauranrsized can of Green Giant artifi- 
cially colored tender young sweet pe 
Below the label, in much smaller type, is 
the following qualification: snove LEGEND 
MANDATORY. PEAS ACTUALLY HIGH QUALITY, 


Aviation Week & Space Technology 
reports that the Air Force now uses th 
term precision-guided munitions instead 
of smart bombs so that the public won't 


t 
think other Air Force wcapons are stupid. 

"The dust jacket of a recently released 
LP called Leroy Hutson, featuring the 
varied talents of a musician by that 
name, prominently displays these enig- 
matic words of praise, attributed to 


E. Rodney Jones, music and program 
dircctor of radio station WVON in Chi- 
cago: “A musical genius with talent that 
has unsurpassed those of equal quality.” 

Way to go: A forthright headline on 
the Los Angeles Times obituary page 
read "DUKE OF ARGYLL DIES AT 69.” 

A New Yark Times writeup of the re- 
1 assaults on the wrong homes by Fed- 
eral narcotic agents disguised as hippies 
may have explained. what's really going 
The agents work out of 30 offices, 
which officials of the drug-abuse agency 


ca 


зау conta 


95 percent of the nation's 


drug addicts. 


section of 


Y'all come: The soci: 
The Tampa Tribune advised members of 


ne 


a local ladies" group to 
home of the club president at 6:30 PML to 
and elect a woman of the year. 


“gather at the 


Our man in Hong Kong reports the ex 
istence of the Hung Fat Brassiere Factory. 

Our sympathy to the party mentioned 
in a classified ad that appeared in the 
Eastern Arizona Courier: “Six-year old 
boy gelding, broke but spirited. $300.” 

Secret ingredient: From the food page 
of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, we learn 
that “the chef at Dunie's Restaurant says 
it is this smidgen of baking powder that 
makes his huge balls so light.” 

We find nothing wrong in fighting sex 
discrimination in hiring, but we don’t 
know what to make of an ad in The 
Montreal Star seeking "UNISEX STORE 
MANAGERS,” 


In an article about the restoration of 
the death penalty in Georgia, The Wash- 
ington Post noted that “the new law 
makes murder, rape. armed robbery and 
kidnaping punishable by dcath under 


certain circumstances. It also classifies 
plane hijacking and reason as capital 
crimes.” 

Words of wisdom from the Media, 
Pennsylvania, Town Talk: “We asked 
Jody if it had been a real wrench to come 
home after 16 months of independence, 
and she put it very sagely: "We had al- 
readu bppled lassage pm a sjol fpr 
Omdoa, bit tjers cp.es a to,e wjem every 
person realizes when they do something 
away from their regular pattern that 
"hats casy for you 


you can overdo. 
to say, Jody. 

‘The amusement page of The Cincin- 
nati Enquirer reported that а musician 
featured at a local nightery "gives his 
organ а provocative workout.” 

In a check list about burglary preven- 
tion from the Florida Mobile Home 
Owners Guide, we found the following 
seldom-asked question: “Does your door 


have а pecholez" 


In Grants Pass, Oregon, police ar- 
rested a man for striking a tavern patron 
with an unlikely weapon -a menu. As 
it turned out, the menu was printed on a 
brick. 


Sexual athletes, beware: A New York 
bookseller's catalog describes one item 
as а “profusely illustrated first edition 
(printed in Bombay) of Unconventional 
ex Practices. . . . Spine cracked, appen 
dix torn." 


Sort of like an inoculation 
to the A.P., a state task force in Maryland 
has concluded that “venereal disease 
should be introduced into the classroom 
no later than the seventh gradi 


According. 


Write on: In Pullman, Washington, a 
mock serious letter to the editor in the 
Washington State University newspaper 
aded that the town change its пате. 
ame Pullman is sexist and 


dem: 
“The very 


2) 


PLAYBOY 


22 


chauvinistic in nature," the letter said. 
"Itis our position thc city must change its 
name to Pullperson. 


Johnson's Bartholomew Fai 
named Raynor Scheine, 

We hope this pla 
the classified.ad page of Texas’ Gilmer 
Mirror, didn’t go unanswered: "Wanted. 
iomcone to just sleep nights with woman. 
Three miles from Gilmer. $40 for the 
month of May." 


Towa Representative William J. Scherle 
reports that employees at the Des Moines 
Post Office found a large package that had 
broken open and spilled its contents—a 
supply of pamphlets from the U.S. Postal 
Service explaining how to wrap parcels 
to ensure undamaged delivery. 

We knew it would come to thi: 
classified advertisement in World maga- 
е announced that “Due to circum- 
stances beyond our control, the 49nd 
annual reunion of the Vestal Virgins of 
America Society will not be held this 
year. 


Our deepest sympathy to the hard- 
luck couple who placed this ad in the Iost- 
and-found section of the University of 
New Mexico Daily Lobo: “Lost: Antique 
crystal dildo, We miss it. Reward. 

Brazilian crooner Waldick Soriano has 
a hit song whose bestknown line is "I am 
not a dog.” While he was giving a concert 
recently, а dog walked onstage wearing а 
sign that said 1 AM NOT WALDICK SORIANO. 
Unamused, Soriano insulted the audi 
ence, a brawl ensued and he had to flee to 
his hotel. 


When C. Randolph Wedding, a candi 
date for mayor of St. Petersburg, Florida, 
began drumbeating the slogan “Have a 
wedding at city hall" his opponent, 
Barbara Gammon, bought local TV time 
to remind voters what usually happens 
after a wedding: “Someone gets screwed.” 

It looks like Greek or maybe Kurdish, 
but ETAOIN SHRDLU tually the 
way the letters are arrayed on the first two 
rows of a linotype keyboard. If Ottmar 
Mergenthaler had it to do over again, he 
would probably scparate the D key from 
the L key, because their nity ace 
counts for what is by far the biggest single 
genre of suggestive typographical errors — 
wherein a nodding урсэсисг trausmog- 
rifies day into lay. As connoisseurs of 
bawdy typos, we generally don’t 
publish such commonplace miscucs. But 
this has been such an extraordinary 
month for the breed that we can't resist 


passing on the 
lays, gang: 

In New York, according to the Times, 
20 prostitutes were imprisoned “for sever- 
al lays before tests for venereal disease 
could be completed.” In Pittsburgh, the 
Post-Gazette told of an athlete who suf- 
fered a groin injury that "kept him out of 
practice for several lays" At Bethesda 
Naval Hospital, returning prisoners of 
ar were grected with posters made up by 
local third-graders, one of which, accord- 
g to Minnesota's St. Cloud Daily News, 
a yellow smiley face bearing the wel- 
come news that “today is the first lay of 
the rest of your life.” The Cincinnati En- 
quiver, in an ad secking a housemother at 
а school for problem boys, described the 
job as a “livein position, four lays on 
duty.” In an item datelined Camp Pen- 
dleton, California, the Reno Evening 
Gazette noted the retirement of the first 
woman ever to complete 30 years’ service 
in the Marine Corps, adding that “an 
aborate retirement ceremony is sched- 
uled here Friday, her final lay." The Va 
couver Sun reported that three nuns, 
refusing to move to new quarters as in- 
structed by their prioress, “have remained 
in the old priory for nine lays.” And the 
weekly bulletin of Los Angeles’ United 
Synagog advised members that Friday 
services were expected to end early, “al- 
lo jone plenty of time to re- 
lux. во to bed early and enjoy a very 
pleasant lay." 

No more of these for at least a 
we promis 


year, 


ACTS AND 
ENTERTAINMENTS 


Near the end of a phenomenally suc- 
cessful first year on the site of a local 
watering hole that used to be known as 
Toots Shors, Jimmy's (38 West 52nd 
Street) calls itself the place "for people 
who love New York.” Quite a few seem 
to love New York, judging from the num- 
ber of Fun City politicians, journalists 
and showbiz insiders who frequent these 
smoke filled rooms—which are spacious 
and wood-paneled, with brick walls and 
lighting just bright enough to show off a 
collection of placards bearing great quo- 
tations about Gotham by everyone from 
Abzug to Khrushchev. But don't ask for. 
Jimmy, because there is no Jimmy (the 
name simply sounded New Yorkish and, 
contrary to rumor, Jimmy Breslin is not 
silent partner), Your genial hosts and 
cofounders, whose political affiliations set 
the tone thoughout three busy floors, are 
Richard Aurelio and Sid Davidoff, Johu 
V. Lindsay's former deputy mayor and 
chief assistant (in that order). In the main- 
floor eatery (with viands predominantly 
Italiano, moderately high-priced and à la 
carte), Monday is a good night, with Dot- 
tie Stallworth’s jazz trio filling in for Barry 


Harris’ duo, while drinks are dispensed 
from time to time at the circular bar by 
guest celebrities (Jack Lemmon, Peter 
Duchin, Ben Gazzara and Maureen Staple- 
ton, to namea few recent volunteers), some 
of whom have proved themselves а match 
for the thirstiest customer. Any time after 
cocktail hour, the action in the bar is 
three-deep and makes most Third Avenue 
gles spots look decidedly undergradu 
ate. Jimmy's guys and girls are presum- 
ably hip enough to pause in the foyer for 
aglance at the United Press International 
ticker dispatching late news bulletin: 
Monday evenings at 11, earnest partisans 
adjourn to the rear, where Davidoff and 
Amelio preside over a local radio talk 
show called From the Back Room at Jim- 
туз, collaring eminent politicos from 
coast to coast. Though noontime jazz con- 
certs to loosen up a business lunch have 
been suspended, at least for the summer, 
Jimmy's civernous underground 52nd 
Street Room was blasted open in June 
by Buddy Rich, fronting a 15-piece or- 
chestra that won standing ovations from 
n S.R.O. crowd. To revive the jazz tra- 
dition on historic 52nd Sweet—where the 
high-rise has long since replaced the rifl— 
is Jimmy's ultimate goal, according to 
Aurelio, an eclectic, gregarious chap with 
plans afoot to book Maynard Ferguson 
nd other recruits from the Newport Jazz 
Festival, as well as David Frye in concert 
and a collection of popular film classics 
running the gamut from Bogart to van 
pires. Upstage at Jimmy's, a light above 
the restaurant, is а cabaret theater cur- 
rendy offering What’s a Nice Country 
Like You Doing in a State Like This? 
some smoothly packaged mischief de- 
scribed in the opening number as “a 
political-satirical revue." The five singing- 
dancing iconoclasts onstage have tongues 
stuck fast in their cheeks and seem well 
e that their current-events material 
is highly perishable (“Before the second 
act, it'll be out of date"). Composer Cary 
Hoffman and lyricist Ira Gasman score 


point after point, however, in blithe de. 


fiance of the odds ag: 
shake the rafters with numbers about 
everything from Krauts in the White 
House (Kissinger und Ziegler und Klei 
vowing “Herr Nixon will never hear 
nein”) to massage parlors (three business- 
men who can “get ass from Pittsburgh to. 
Pasadena” Jament that a guy interested in 
а nonerotic massage is likely to get 
screwed anyway). Among the topics sent 
nd swiftly shot down are vasecto: 
sts, women's lib, muggers, 
Mayor Lindsay, nary elections and 
Red baiters ("Whatever Happened to the 
Communist Menace?" —a musical tribute 
to McCarthyism performed in the 
swiveling style of the Fifties—is a special 
trea). Discounting a few brief lapses, the 
spoofery qualifies as New York's finest 
and may be the biggest 1 
the new spa that Variety aptly labeled “an 


ist them—and. 


09 0220001 spjoukoy Г 4E4619 


—— 
Today, a man needs a good reason to walk a is^ 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 1 3 - 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 2 S 
25 mg; "tar? 18 mg. nicotine г per cigaratta, FTC Report FEB 73. 


entertainment supermarket.” Indeed, 
there's something for everyone—unless 
you're doggedly apolitical (or a thin- 
skinned conservative). Closed Sundays. 


BOOKS 


PLAYBOY 


Previews: Big 


mes are on tap for the 
g scason, and none is big- 
ger than Watergate. Due in the coming 
months is able flood of works 
about that dismaying yet fascinating af- 
fair. Washington Post reporters Bob 
Woodward and Carl Bernstein. who dug 
out much of the story, have gotten a 
555.000 advance for their report. Frank 
Mankiewicz, who happens to have been 
a classmate of H. R. Haldeman and John. 
Ehrlichman at UCLA, as well as George 
McGovern's political director in 1972, has 
tided his forthcoming effort Perfectly 
Clear—From Whittier to Watergate. Others r 
portedly taking the plunge include former 
Nixon aide Clark Mollenhoff. а team 
from the Sunday Times of London, beste 
к crime novelist George V. Higgins, 
mes McCord and 
Howard Hunt, and Theodore H. White, 
who aged to include Watergate 
in his The Making of the President 1972. 

"Ehe only reason Norman Mailer d 
get into the swim, we guess, is tha 
seusibly chose to spei 
90,000 word es: 
to go along with the many pictures ol 
Marilyn in what promises to be one of the 
s cocktail-party staples. Another 
West Coast celebrity being procliimed 
between hard covers this season is V 
Chamberlain. The Sult’s autobiography. 
done with the help of David Shaw, is 
titled Wilt; Just Like Any Other Seven-Foot 
Black Millionaire Who lives Next Door. 


The U.S.A. and ity citizens are com: 
ing in for close scrutiny this season 
Alistair Cooke's America is Cooke's hand- 
some pictureand-text book based on hi 


celebrated ВВС TV series, Journalist 
Jane Howard's personal view of the fe- 
male side of America is called A Different 
Weman. Johu Gregory Dunne confines 
his own glimpse of the U. S. to that small 
but lively part of the nation known as 
Vegos. In Kind and Usual Punishment, 
Jessica, Mitford nnns her eye on our 
prison system, and George Plin 
tums to his favorite 
ball, in Med Ducks and Beas 
iction fans can look forward to works 
by Graham Greene, Gore Vidal, John 
Gardner, J. P. Donleavy, Kingsley Amis, 


Arthur C. Clarke, Seymour Epstein. 
Thornton Wilder, Jimmy Breslin, Gerald 
Green, Jerome Weidman and Garson 


hers. Yet it won't be easy 
even for people who shun nonfiction to 
avoid the drip of Watergate. The afore- 
mentioned E. Howard Hunt, as you must 
have read by now, has for ycars been 
turning out novels that have been de- 
servedly ignored, But crime has its re- 
24 wards: His latest, The Berlin Ending, is bei 


heavily promoted, and a paperback outfit 
is busy reminding booksellers that a 
couple of items titled The Sorcerers und 
Diabolus, formerly ascribed to one David 
St. John, are really the work of the pro- 
lific Hunt. Need we add that all Hunt's 
tales have to do with spies? 

It’s a shame that Steven Goldberg's 
The Inevitability of Patriarchy (Morrow) 
is so badly written, because it has ап 
important point to make. Goldberg's au- 
dacious thesis is that men, not women, 
will always hold the final power in fami 
politics and anywhere else in human 
sociery where power is up for grabs. Gold- 

argument i 1e claims d 

€ has never existed anywhere at any 
time a matriarchy, that every known sod 
ety has always been dominated by men. 
This cannot be purely accidental. he 
maintains, and he finds the reason in hor- 
mones—in particular, the androgens that 
seem to increase aggressiveness in all sorts 
of animals. In the womb, human males 
get a muck heavier dosage of androgens 
lcs do. This programs them to 
c aggressively, so they inevitably 
lor power, shouldering the weaker 
sex aside in the process. There are, to be 
sure, many exceptions: Just as some 
women are taller than some men, and а 


few women are tiller than many men, so 
ill be more aggressive than 
ard 


some women 
some men. But as an acrossthey 
tendency. males will domin 
berg insists that society is right in steerin 
women away from power struggles, be- 
cause if they play by boys’ rules they can 
do nothing but lose. Is Goldberg right? 
His statement th ТОШ ak 
dominated societies may he true, despite 
gue feminist allusions to Amazon cul- 
tures or chics, and he is 
correct associates androgens 
with à 
the ficld of sex differences are likely to 
find his arguments a little simple-minded. 
Current knowledge tells us that forma 
tion of the male or female personality 
comes out of an interaction between ge- 
netics and environment. Then, too. hi 
concept of aggression is a little hazy: Ex- 
аспу what sort of behavior is he talking 
about? Why must women play by men 
rules in power struggles and, even if they 
do, why must they lose, since such con- 
icts seldom degenerate ло а contest of 
physical strength? Finally, in stecring 
women in general away from the compet 
itive fr g off from po- 
tions of accomplishment and statis 
many exceptional women who would 
© risen had they been raised to think 
that they should? 


when he 
gression. But people working 


‘The Donner Party has to be an almost 
irresistible subject for writers who want a 
metaphor for the American experience. 
ocence and. conquest. ending in 
rism and defeat, Cannibalism оп 
ia. In The Ungedly 


bari 
the way to Cali 


(Charterhouse), Richard. Rhodes begins 
the terrible story from the 
of view of a jour 
of the party, then 
narrative that takes in the whole awe 
some story. It is a vast undertaking, so. 
dilhcult that Rhodes doesn't quite pull it 
off throughout. But when he does suc- 
ceed, he does so brilliantly. By the time 
the party has been reduced to final cx- 
tremes of hardship and is ready to eat the 
flesh and the vitals of its recent dead. you 
are ready—but not quite ready enough. 
“He touched Dolan's cold bare belly and 
his flesh crawled and he took his hand 
away. His back throbbed as if someone 
might put a ball into it at any moment. 
He touched Dolan’s belly again and dis- 
covered that his mouth was watering. He 
waited no longer then but touched the 
point of his knife to the rib cage and 
pressed it into the skin. The blade drew 
no blood and he pressed it harder, feeling 
the plate of gristle under the skin move 
down.. . . He pulled the knife and with 
both hands opened Dolan’s belly, expos- 
the viscera. He grasped the heart in 
its sac and with the other hand sawed it 
free and laid it on the snow and then he 
1 his fingers around the liver and 
brought the lip out of the cavity and cut. 
the tubes below it and pulled the liver 
But for 
1 the vivid description of hardship and 
у, there is something missing. 
The book is 100 large—in that it tries to 
give you too many characters—and too 
small: It never leaves Ше wagon train 
to describe the country and the other 
igvations of 1846. Rhodes (a frequent 
PLAYBOY contributor) has written a book 
that is flawed but compelling, and 
probably the best fictional treatment yet 
of one of American history's grimmest 
chapters. 


In Hustling (Delacorte), а collection of 
articles subtitled “Prostitution in Our 
Wide Open Society.” many of which first 
appeared in New York magazine, Gail 
Sheehy says a lot of new things about the 
oldest profession, at least as it exists in 
New York. I is not a victimless crime, she 
contends, but "attracts a wide species of 
preying criminals and generates a lon 
line of victims beginning with the most 
obvious and least understood —the prosti- 
tute herself." Using observation, research 
and interviews with whores, a pimp. the 
manager of a room-by-the-hour hotel, po- 
lice and fatcar property owners who pr 
tend they don’t know where their moncy 
comes from, Shechy shows how the girl 
who works on her back supports a struc- 
ture reaching into the high financial and 
political echelons of the city. The prosti- 
tutes at the bottom of the profit ladder, 
Shechy maintains, represent “the mas 
ochistic core within all women carried to 
the burlesque. . . . They are fighting to re- 
store their carlicst authority figures, men, 
аз their superiors.” Which may be true, 


SMIRNOFE® VODKA. B0 4100 PROOF. DISTILLED FROM GPAIN STE. PIERRE SMIRNOFF FLS. [DIVISION OF HEUBLEIN.) ©1973, HFUELEIN, INCORPORATED HARTFORD. CONNECTICUT 
R g j 2 f E: 


The Machete. 


(Carving out time for what counts) 
We're always showing or- 
dinary couples doing an 
extraordinarily refreshing 
thing: enjoying being togeth- 
er. To celebrate these = 
small reminders that human S 
beings can still be human, 8 
we try to suggest a drink | T 
that is suitably refreshing. omaka 


Sf 1% oz. of Smirnoff into a 
is time we mixed pi glass of ice. Add two-thirds 


apple juice with Smirnoff CNET D Тате 

е glass of pineapple juice, 
and added some tonic. fill with tonic and stir. 
Result? The Machete, a s 
drink you might take to Smimoff 
when you're taking a break. — leaves you breathless? 


PLAYBOY 


but Sheehy doesn't prove it—probably 
because, as she says, the prostitute is one 
of the hardest people co get to know. She 
does convey a picture of the world 
in which the prostitute operates—the 
sleazy dark streets west of Times Square, 
the penthouse parties, the plasticcovered 
decor of a madam's apartment—but not 
much understanding of the girl or why 
she does what she does. There arc two 
composite or "new journalistic" portraits 
in the book—one of a street prostitute, 
the other of a “courtesan” who has moved 
through the ranks of rich men to marry 
the richest and most powerful. In Sheehy's 
hands, they are a textbook example of 
what this form of journalism cz 


п and 
can't do. In the first, she uses her char- 
acter as a vehicle [or a pungent descrip- 
ion of life on the streets. In the second, 
she tries to bring her fictional cr 
tion to life, giving her conversations and 
thoughts, all of which sound about as real 
as a trueromance story. Prostitution may 
well damage as many people as Sheehy's 
evidence indicates, and she suggests laws 
already on the books that could be used 
to crack down harder. But a large ques- 
tion goes unasked and unanswered: What 
to be done about all the men—shy, de- 
int or whatever—who need and will 
pay for impersonal sex? 

William S. Burroug 
Lunch and other fre 
the murderous uncertainty of modern сх 
istence, seems to be a writer's writer; that 
is, certain other notable writers—such as 
Norman Mailer and. Mary McCarthy— 
confess to getting an imaginative charge 
fiom reading his poker-faced 
of sex, blood and destruction 
the exhilars 
come from the fact that Burroughs has no 
hesitation in throwing out the entire 
shebang called Western culture, viewing 
1 as a gigantic con game to hoodwink 
and hog-tie the sadly limited human race. 
Those limits, in fact, are the central 
subject of his latest novel, Exterminator! 
(Viking). Besides being the direct heir of 
the Burroughs Adding Machine fortune, 

nd having had an uncle named Ivy 
Lee, notorious for his public-relations 
whitewashing of John D. Rockefellev's 
nasty financial wicks, Burroughs has also 
worked as a bug killer—and he begins hi: 
book with a typically lyrical yet grim 
description of those halcyon days. In Bur- 
roughs’ very private mythology, extern 
nation is not only necessary, a publicly 
useful job, but also a basic form of "trans- 
formation,” which, he strongly implies, 
could be practiced with profit on the 
countless зріс», piggish police, corrupt 
undercover men, priests, rabbis, lawyers, 
doctors, psychiatrists and drug counselor: 
who keep the race in its present woebe- 
gone state. His book describes а number 
formations—a jazz musician who 
hits a high note and turns into a wolf, a 
man who exchanges personalities with a 


5, author of Naked 
floating fables of 


Part of 
ion they experience may 


sad-sack waiter named Pinkie (it doesn’t 
work out well for either), 2 mad inventor 
who concocts a virus that "would spread 
aves of tranquillity in all directions un- 
til the world was a fit place to live in, 
and so on and on through the various sit- 
uations that Burroughs, with his wild 
imagination and his practical knowledge 
of contemporary chemical and mechan 
cal achievements, can daydream up. E: 
terminator! is less repetitious and funnier 
than Burroughs’ past few books and ev 
at moments, inspired by a real, rather 
touching desire for love and. peace. Pei 
haps Burroughs himself is undergoing a 
basic transformation. 


Janis Joplin was one of the seemingly 
triumphant symbols of the counter- 
culture of the Sixties—a rock star who was 
so into feeling that she and her audiences 
shared a heavy communion of emotional 
ping. Then Janis died, at 97, of an 
overdose of heroin, Why, riding so high, 
had she succumbed to that drug that most 
effectively kills feeling? Buried Alive (Mor- 
row) not only tries to answer that ques- 
tion but also provides an unsentimental 
dissection of the self-indulgent life styles 
of many in the shaky rock panthcon to 
which Janis (falsas The author, Myra 
icdman, got to know Janis all too well 
during the three years she worked as a 
publicist in the office of i: 
Albert Grossmai 
is uncloyingly cl 
er whole; this is not a flack's cosmeticized 
biography. Extensive research, including 
interviews with Janis’ p 
friends in Texas, results in an engrossing 
account of a teenage misfit who found, 
through her singing, a way to realize some 
of her fantasies. She was never, however, 
able to belicve she was really accepted by 
anyone—neither the crowds she voicc- 
lashed to a frenzy nor her many “inti 
mate" friends. With no inner center of 
gravity (or sense of identity, as the psy- 
dhiawrists say), Janis drank, used dope 
and balled—men. women and boys she 
picked up in bars. It is a genuinely sad, 
though hardly novel, story—the splat- 
tered journey to selfdestruction of a 
"star" who thought herself. worthless, 
Miss Friedman is not in the least taken. 
in by the surfacy defiant “freedom’ 
the lonely drifters, both lur ies and 
г: in the "world ol rock. Buried. 
Alive is an epitaph not only for Janis 
Joplin but alo for many anonymous 
victi of the countercultu 
COND; Down with Janis (Lyle Stuart), 
by Peggy Caserta as told to Dan Knapp, is 
a fai more narrowly focused view of 
that swiftly fallen star. Herself turned on. 
to heroin by Joplin, Caserta brought 
Janis (willingly) back to the drug shortly 
before the laner's death. Her book is 
mainly about their intermittent love 
ing—told in copious, rather repetitive de- 
il and including diverse other sexual 
encounters cach had separately and some- 


times together with transient men. The 
nis Joplin of the Caserta book is only 
part of the more complex Joplin (and 
her milieu) analyzed in Burted Alive. 
More distant in his perspective on the 
rock scene is novelist and social critic 
Rich: Elman, whose Upright with the 
Stones (Scribner's) is a brief, wry series of 
impressions of part of The Rolling Stones’ 
American tour of 1972, This book is far 
more deftly written than those on Janis, 
but Elman finds the Stones, too, to be 
lonely drifters. The shrewd businessman's 
acumen of Mick Jagger holds them sul 
ciently together to prosper mightily and 
more or less survive privately though 
they seem to be enjoying what they do 
less and less. There are side-light sketches 
of Terry Southern, Princess Lee Radziwill 
and other assorted onlookers at the highly 
ized fertility rites of the Stones. 
days, says Elman, the group achieves 
ofa hype than а high.” The Stones 


keeps getting harder for them to 
live up to their hype—ser audi- 
ences notwithstanding. 

Also noteworthy: Although our doubts 
about whether much of The New Journal- 
ism (Harper & Row) is either new or 
journalism were not laid to rest by Tom 
Wolfe's long introduction to the anthol- 
ogy ol that title, we were impressed by the 
quality of some of the contributions. This 
we might have expcetcd—for among the 
practitioners of the alleged genre selected 
by Wolfe and E. W. Johnson are Gay 
Y'alesc, Truman Capote, Norman Mailer, 
amy Wills and the un- 
bashful Tom Wolfe himself. 


MOVIES 


Previews: The film forecast for au- 
tumn and beyond promises a number ol 
new faces and some arresting excursions 
by superstar performers and directors. 


te the early 


Promising newcomers domit 
all scene, which will be highlighted by 
The Paper Chose, co-starring Timothy Bot 
toms (of The Last Picture Show) and 
Lindsay Wagner (of Two People) in a 
contemporary comedy-drama about the 
social pressures felt by law students at 
Harvard. Billy Dee Williams, Richard 
Pryor and Gwen Welles head the com- 
ny of Hit, a talc of revenge in the 
roin trade. In a hai id-tortoise race 
with The Exorcist, which is imminent, 
there's Hex, [caturing Tina Herazo, Hil- 
aric Thompson and Keith Carradine, 
who dabble in witchcraft and vintage 
motorbikes on the Nebraska prairies back 
in 1919. 

Before the 1973 holid: 
a number of last year's high scorers will 
bc bidding for attention again. Paul Wi 
field (of Sounder) plays a Green Beret 
veteran whose wile dies of drug addiction 


y season wanes, 


Innsbruck П (пг brook), noun—Distinctive yoke back pockets assure even greater success to this 
rugged successor of Lee's phenomenally popular Innsbruck outfit, Both jacket and flares feature 100 
per cent cotton sloan sateen that's rawhide tough, yet brushed denim soft. Flares $12, jacket $14. 
The Lee Company, 640 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10019. LEE 


A company ot Veorpe 


The Hatchback | 


of Notre Dame. 


Theres a new face on cam- Toyota Corolla 1200, but it also 
pus this year. The Honda Civic" exceeds that of the standard 
From UCLA to NYU,moreand engine Pinto as well. And with 
more Hondas have been atop speed of 88 mph, the 
squeezing into parking places. Civic is no sitting duck on the 

Why? Well for openers, the freeway either? 


the Civic Hatchback costs only Road Test summed it up 

$2250* and gets up to 30 miles pretty well when they said: 

toa gallon. “Clearly, the automobile has it 
Pretty nice economics. all; it provides the most im- 


But economy is only half the mediately viable solution to our 
story. The Civic’s performance іѕ traffic problems and does this 


even more remarkable. with comfort, performance, 
In comparing the Civic economy and a low price. For 
against other economy cars, center city commuters, the 
April Road Test magazine Honda Civic is the car of the 
found that its 0-60 mph accel- future. And it's here now” 
eration was bested only by the Test drive it yourself. 
Mazda RX-3 (which lists at And find out why we 


about a thousand dollars more). believe that new face on campus 
And March Car and Driver will soon become a very 

magazine reported:“Its accelera- familiar sight. 

tion is not only better than that " 

of VW's and other small dis- The New Honda Civic 

placement competitors like the It will get you where you're going. 


* Suggested retail (52150 for 2 Dr Sedan) California add about $13. Dealer preparation. trensportalion tax and license extra, ©1973 American Honda Motor Co. Inc 


Where-To-Duy-l? Use REACTS Card — Page 61. 


PLAYBOY 


in Gordons War, under director Ossie 
Davis; Winfield also co-stars with Jon 
Voight in Sounder director Martin Кіш" 
Conrock, about a white teacher in a black 
community down South. The Godfather's 
second son, James Caan, plays a sailor on 
leave in Seattle in Cinderella Liberty, op- 
posite Marsha Mason and former under- 
ground star Sally Kirkland. Three other 
ilors (played by Timothy Bottoms, 
Warren Oates and Lou Gossett) battle 
the ele: ts and meet some Eskimos on 
subarctic Baffin Island in The White Down. 

A couple of grabbers for crime buffs 
are apt to be The Super Cops (Ron Li 
man, David Selby and Super Fly's Sheila 
Frazier in a comedy-drama recounting the 
dventures in tough Bedford-Stuyvesant 
of a pair of real-life New York cops who 
became known as Batman and Robin) 
and Joke (Walter Matthau and Bruce 
Dern as homicide detectives tracking a 
mass murderer in San Francisco). Charles 


Bronson fans can have their pick of 
Charley behind a detective's badge in The 
Stone Killer or saddled up in Wild Horses. 


Lest anyone worry that shoot-“em-nps may 
be in short supply, the company that gave 
us Warren. Oates as Dillinger (reviewed 
оп page 34) promises to encore soon with 
a rogues’ gallery of biographies titled 
Boby Face Nelson, Machine Gun Kelly anc Pretty 
Boy Floyd. 

Movicgocrs who found Last Tango in 
Paris too racy were given a glimpse of 
things to con this year's Cannes film 
festival, where several European innova- 
tors appeared eager and more than able 
to make Tango look as old-fashioned as 
the two-step. A young director from Par 
Jean Eustache, brought forth Le Mamen et 
Lo Putoin (The Mother and the Whore)— 
newly four hours’ worth of four-letter 
words, or their raunchiest French equ 
nts, mouthed by Jean-Pierre L 
ad the two mesdemoiselles who share 
him in a highly mobile ménage à trois. 
"The most controversial Cannes entry by 
, was Italian director Marco 
5 Lo Gronde Bouffe, with Marcello 
i and three other males 
ating but frequently repulsive 
black comedy about four world-weary he- 
donists who decide to commit suicide by 
cating, belching, defecating and fornicat- 
ing their way to oblivion. 

Among the biggies anticipated for 
1974, few are likely to be bigger than the 
remake of F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great 
Gatsby, adapted by Francis Ford Coppola 


for director Jack Clayton, with a cast 
headed by Robert Redford, Mia Farrow, 
Lois Chiles, Karen Black and Bruce Dern. 
In The Men on the Swing, Cliff Robertson 
e suspense with the support ol 
ег Joel Grey in a nonmusical 
Str 


will gene 
Oscar wi 
role. Barb sand won't be singing 
much either unorthodox young 
nurse in With or Without Roller Skates. Hi 
g finished shooting The Lest Detoil, Jack 
Nicholson is about ready to start work 


for Roman Polanski in an original screen- 
led Chinatown. Other best bets 
the works include донот, by writer- 
producerdirector John Boorman (who 
ted Deliverance), a futuristic adven- 
ture drama set in the 23rd Century. 
with Charloue Rampling and Scan Con- 
nery, and by no means least, Stanley Ku- 
brick's Barry Lyndon, based on Tha 
novel about a seducer, gambler 
who values winning above all. 
O'Neal will play the lead opposite Ma 
Berenson, and that's ав much as anyone 
but Kubrick knows about Lyndon, though. 
a dawning movie season with a new Ku- 
brick film on the horizon already looks 
rather special, 


"I shoulda known better than to trust 
a cop. My own goddamn mother coulda 
told me tat," says Robert Mitchum, sum- 
ming up The Friends of Eddie Coyle, who 
turn out to be a collection of ucach- 
erous finks, hit men and plainclothes de- 
єз. Definitely a downer, with litle 
of the forced excitement common to 
crime thrillers, Eddie Coyle is 
intelligent, low-key and one of the most 
deadly accurate depictions of underworld 
double-dealing ever caught on film. The 
people who made it obviously know their 
stuff. Scenarist Paul Monash's terse a 
tation of the bestselling first novel by 
George V. Higgins—a professional law- 
man who, until recently, was an Assistant 


of an inside look at the kinky med 
of lawbreaking and law enforcement. 
The plot, not always easy to follow. is a 
maze of minor skirmishes connected to a 
series of bank heists that involve abduct- 
ing bank managers while holding thei 
nilies hostage. Eddie Coyle's ошу par- 
ticipation in the deal is to purchase some 
contraband guns and ammunition; hes 
h ex-con, trying to stay 
alive and beat a bad rap in New Hamp- 
shire for driving a truckload of stolen 
goods. Sporting а Boston-Irish accent, 
Mitchum lurehes through the title role 
with a curse on his lips for every occasion, 
in total command of the meatiest role 
he has had in ycars. Mitchum gets sub- 
stantial support from Peter Boyle, as a 
bartender who picks up extra cash for in- 
forming, and Richard Jordan, especially 
fine as Foley, the smooth young city 
detective with a killer's instinct for ma- 
nipulating men at the bottom of the so- 
1 ladder. Director Peter Yates (maker 
of Bullitt and The Hot Rock) filmed 
Eddie Coyle on location in Boston, and 
he keeps untlinchingly in focus that par- 
ticular urban jungle, a district where the 
decline and fall of a petty crook whose 
luck has run out is ugly, tragic and part 
of the daily routine. 


A couple of teammates and buddies in 
major-league baseball are the heroes of 


Bong the Drum Slowly, based on the popular 
novel by Mark Harris, first published 
in 1956 and originally dramatized as. 
costarring Paul Newman and 
Imi. Harris himself wrote the 
for the film version, which has 
the estimable asset of brilliant perform- 
nces by two relatively unknown actors— 
Michael Moriarty as Henry Wiggen, ace 
pitcher for the New York Mammoths, 
and Robert De Niro as his roommate, 
Bruce Pearson, а soso catcher and dumb 
Georgia cracker whose career prospects 
are dimmer than ever because he happens 
to be dying of Hodgkin’s disease. Though 
movies set in the sports world are tradi- 
ionally box-office poison, Bang the 
Drum may have what it takes to change 
everyone's luck. Director John Hancock 
(whose only previous feature was an 
offbeat 1971 thriller called Let's Scare 
Jessica to Death) wrings maximum dra- 
matic impact from Harris’ tough, tender 
story of camaraderie oll the diamond. 
ad his glimpses of life behind the scenes 
in the big Jeagues are projected with 
rough humor and sizzling conviction. 
Reasonably famous but none too bright, 
these ballplayers sell insurance on the 
side, Kill time оп the road by conning 
suckers into card games and make asses 
of themselves doing guest shots оп tele- 
vision. The rugged team manager. Dutch 
(a conventional character played with 
unbeatable brio by Vincent Gardenia), 
treats them like errant schoolboys, and 
often as not they behave accordingh 
Their rough but deep affection for 
another dignifies them and is the sav 
grace of a near tearjerker that explores 
the masculinity syndrome in big-time ath- 
letes without jumping to glib conclusions 
about latent homosexuality 
chauvinism. There is absolute truth in 
the awkward, funny, oddly offhand rela- 
tionship between Moriarty and De Nir 
two rather simple-minded jocks facing a 
tragedy fit for kings. “I been handed a 
shit deal, boy.” grumbles the doomed 
man, sulky and perplexed, as if he has lost. 
an argument w 


Broadway — composer-lyricist 
Sondheim and actor Tony Per 
their tandem debut as sc ers with 
The Lost of Sheilo, an clegant charade in 
the form of a whodunit. With such impos- 
ing authorship, produccr-director Her- 
bert Ross presumably had little difficulty: 
obtaining a yacht moored off the Riviera 
(owned by movie mogul Sam Spiegel). 
along with the services of seven lumi 
ries to portray a group of Hollywood 
jet sctters gathered ой board to play Who 
led Sheila? James Coburn is master of 
revels and host (while he lasts) to D; 

Cannon, Richard Benjamin, Joan Hack- 
ett, James Mason, Ian McShane and Ra- 
quel Welch. АШ appear to relish the fun. 
and games and unadulterated showbiz 
bitchery, though Dyan—as a tough 


Micronite filter. 

Mild, smooth taste. 

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PLAYBOY 


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RED CLOUD 


BELLE STARR 


Lawmakers and lawbreakers . .. heroes and villains . . .shady ladies and 
. «the real people behind the legends you've been 
aring about all your life—even more fantastic than the myths. 


Poslmsinging preachers 
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TIME 


BOOKS 


Here’s the true story of 


Cheyenne . . . Dodge 

. more than names, they 
were places — places that made 

4 magic around the world. They 

©, still do. Wherever people crave 

Й adventure, invoke the spirit of 
the American pioneer or seek 
new horizons, they look to the 
history of the American West. 
To some, it’s a tale of raw cour- 

age against great odds. To others, it's a fable of heroes and villains. 

And to everyone, it’s where we escape to when we dream of breaking 

loose and breathing free. 
In a new series of books designed to give you a true pic- 

ture of pioncer life, the editors of Time-Life Books have 

produced an epic story more exciting than any movie or 

IV Western. Extensively researched and documented, 

THE OLD WEST tcems with the treasures of archive 

and historical socictics, extraordinary ings, drawings, 

maps, posters and newspaper clippings 


Kanan State Historical Society, Topeka 


TIME-LIFE ROOKS, Dept.0512 1 

TIME & LIFE BUILDING, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 [| 

Yes, I would like 10 examine The Cowboys. Please send it to me for Î 

10 days (тее examination — and enter my subscription to THE | 

OLD WEST. If 1 decide to keep The Cowboys, 1 will pay $135. | 
(38.95 in Canada) plus shipping and handling. Г then will receive 

future volumes in THE OLD WEST series, shipped a volume at û | 

time approximately every three months, Each is $7.95 ($8.95 in р 
Canada) plus shipping and handling and comes on a 10-day, free- 

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notifying you. 
1f 1 do not choose to keep The Cowboys, 1 will return the book 
within 10 days, my subscription for future volumes will be canceled, 


and I will not be under any further Obligation. 


Name... 


Address. . 


(eae ee ee ee ey 


о ENE A Zi ә 


бо. ВЕСЕО ЦЫ сз сугы C T ETE 


-— the old west 


^... was on my Horse the whole 
night & it raining hard... 
There was one of our party 
Drowned today (Mr. Carr) 
& several narrow escapes & I 
among them... Awful night... 
not having had a bite to eat 
for 60hours... Tired... Indians 
very troublesome... Found a 
human skeleton on the 
prairie today...” 

—Diary of а Texas cattle drive, 1866. 
Quoted in The Cowboys 


[Sea sm ERT 


presents a lusty, rip-roaring new series. 


Typical of the authenticity, the richness of 
flavor in every book of THE OLD WEST, 
is the introductory volume, The Cowboys. It 

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cattle barons who paid him a hard-earned dollar a day, the stam- 
pedes, the long drives and roundups that were the most romantic 
part of his life 

Once you've experienced the high adventure of The Cowboys, 
you'll be looking forward to other volumes in the series: 

In The indians, you'll sec the daily lives of tribes 
like the Comanche, Apache, Crow and Sioux; their 
customs. beliefs and taboos: the authentic, vividly 
detailed lives of great Indian leaders like Crazy 
Horse, Red Cloud, and 
Sitting Вий... 
In The Gunfighters, you'll 
find the marvelously 
wicked characters you've been 
hearing about all your life 
infamous outlaws like the Dalton Gang, the 
James Boys, Black Bart, and Butch Cassi 
famous gunfighting towns, vigilante committees 
and hanging judge: 

And in The Expressmen, the Pony Express, 
Тһе Overland Stage, Freighters, and Wells 
Fargo all come to galloping life as you, too, 
join the pioneer masses on the great trails 
going West. 


State Archives and History Dept, 


Some of the other books in 
THE OLD WEST that'll boot you right smac! 
the center of America's most daring feats are: 

Forty-Niners, The Trailblazers, The Railroaders, 
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agent who makes any attempt on her 
life look like a public service —monop- 
olizes the prickliest Hines and steals the 
picture. Most of Sheila, alas, is scarcely 
worth stealing. Author Sondheim. well 
known in private life as a puzzle buff, ap- 
parently had a strong hand in shaping the 
plot, which offers а suing of clues tied 
together with mathematical precision— 
but with little concern for believable sit- 
uations or insights. What remains after 
the star dust settles is а routine comedy 
mystery exposing the obvious truths about 
а band of chic egocentric involved in a 
crime that was never very interesting in 
the first place. 


As Dillinger, Warren Oates adds smother 
feather to the plumage he has acquired 
by creating pungent moments of truth 
in otherwise unimpressive pictures. This 
one has holding power up front because 
Oates works а credible blend of mean- 
ness, humor, arrogance, humanity and 


g pull 
mired bank robber of 
his time—an cra that more or less ended 
on July 22, 1934. when Dillinger was cut 
down by G men while leaving a movie 
theater in Chicago. Playing Anna Sage, 
the callhouse madam who became a leg- 
end as The Lady in Red for fingering Dil- 
linger to the Feds, Cloris Leachman 
Oscar winner in The Last Picture Show) 
contributes a luscious vignette that would 
be a showstopper in less notable compa 
ny, and Michelle Phillips (a foundi 
member of the Mamas and the Papas 


singing group) also makes her winsome 
presence felt, between fusillades, as Dil 
linger's hall-breed moll Billie Frechette. 
Written and directed by John Milius, 
who has been so handsomely paid as a 
screenwriter (for Dirty Harry, Jeremiah 
Johnson and The Life and Times of 
Judge Roy Bean) that Hollywood con 
siders him “hot.” the movie as а whole is 
а fairly standard exercise in blood-and. 


guts exploitation. 1t is also strangely dit 
fuse in effect, giving nearly equal screen 


time to the career of Melvin Purvis 
(played by Ben Johnson with 
restrained authority), head of the Chicago 
FBI, the original G man who made his 


is usual 


reputation as the nemesis of the under 
world. The cigar-chomping Gang Buster 
with a sharp eye for the value of pub. 
icity draws Milius so far away from 
the real business at hand thar Dillin 
could just as aptly be tiled Me 
Purvis, G Man. 


lici 


Singer-composer Bob Dylan plays а 
minor role in Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid, 
and also provides incidental music on the 
sound track: and neither is especially dis 
tinguished. Cast in the title roles, James 
Coburn as Garrett and Kris Kristoflerson 
as Billy manage to keep their cool against 
considerable odds іп a conscientiously 


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arty Western that ranks well below stand 
ard for director Sam Peckinpah, whose 
definitive epics of violence include The 
Wild Bunch and Str Dogs. Peckinpah 
approaches Pat Garrett as if he had pored 
over a scrapbook of critical accolades and 
been overwhelmed by descriptions of 
himself as a serious director. The result is 
a melodrama that often smacks of parody 
if some imitator were mocking Peckin. 


päls well-publicized machismo (summed 
up rather literally when Garrett, who has 
been hired to gun down Billy, waits о 
side the bedroom where the Kid is laying 
an Indian girl, reluctant to kill a man be 
fore climax). There are many tired ideas 
espoused in the script by Rudolph Wur 
liver, mostly twaddle about friends fall 
ing out because Garrett is obsessed with 
the notion that “the time for outlaws and 
drifters is over.” Trouble is, few of the 
characters are motivated by any clear pur- 
pose, and they move through the film in 
slow motion, as if to keep a rendezvous 
with destiny. The quantities of blood 
spilled onscreen leave little doubt as to 
whats happening, but Peckinpah never 
tells us why, and occasionally the air of 


thickening mystery makes Pat Garrett 
look like a country cousin to Dracula, 
Maybe the fault lies with some of the six 
MGM editors named in the film's credits, 
whose tinkering reportedly drove direc 


tor Peckinpah right up the wall. Ardent 
admirers of Sam can only shrug—and 
wish him better luck next time. 

The hero of Blume in Love is an irri- 
tating, egocentric divorce lawyer who 


lives in Beverly Hills, Divorced himsel{— 
alter his wile catches him in bed with 
his black secretary on an afternoon 
olt—Blume ultimately goes to Venice to 
brood over the good old days when he 


honeymooned there, 


out pause, in flashbacks, about how he 
can't stop loving that ex-wife of his. 
Sleeping with one of her best friends 
didn't help; he even became a buddy of 
his ex's hippie boyfriend, and the three of 
them smoked grass together—but that 
didn't help, either. What helped, it seems, 
was the night he raped the former Mrs 
Blume in a fit of passion; she shows up at 
the finale in Piazza San Marco, hugely 
pregnant Гог а 
reconcil 


and more than r 
ution—while an Ital 


from Tristan and Isolde, Nothin 
clinch 


would do, of cours 


Blume's heavy doses of satire 
md Ann Landersish marr 
George Segal as Blun 
Anspach as his missus and Kris Kristoller- 
son (again with the unforced charm of a 
movie natural) as the guitar-thumping 
dropout who takes Blume’s place in her 
affections are uniformly competent— 
though all their ellorts cannot conceal 
the dullness of the characters they're 


winsome Susan 


ET 


That could be you up there. 


How? As an Air Force pilot. 
After college, take a crack ot Air 
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impersonating. Writer-producer-director 
Paul Mazursky, following his first flush of 
success as а New Yorker on the rise in 
Hollywood, made Bob & Carol & Ted & 
Alice and Alex in Wonderland, both of 
which reflected the special pressures on 
ied couples in Southern C 
movie colony, H Blume m Love is meant 
сп as another chapter of qui 
phy based on firsthand re 
Mazursky proves only that 
nce hasn't taught. him a helluva 
lot. To fill the insight gap. he tosses in 
references to women's lib, marijuana, 
group sex, psychoanalysis. chicano work- 
з and other topical but mostly irrelc- 
int subjects. Blume’s appeal is apt to be 
limited to circles in which it's still con 
sidered hip to talk about visiting your 
shrink. 


Always a fine actress, Sarah M 
The Hireling is marvelous to watch as she 
implies, with a subtle glazing of her eyes, 
the controlled eroticism of а youngish 
English widow who would probably rath- 
er have her clothes torn off than face а 
other session of tea and crumpets. Much 
of the movie takes place in a vintage 
Rolls-Royce during the Twenties—which 
are scarcely roa in fact, all you can 
hear aside from the purr of the engine 
is the gentle thumping of a lady's pulse 
Though ostensibly a kind of Lady Chat 
well-bred 
pportunistic 
chauffeur, The Hireling (which shared the 
Grand Prix award at this year’s Cannes 
film festival) differs in one crucial те 
spea: Nothing actually happens except 
that the woman, suffering a nervous 
breakdown after the death of her hus- 
band, simply needs to talk to someone 
The chauffeur misund 


in 


and her 


lady finally pulls herself together suffi 
i entertaining ipible 
п of equal social rank, Wolf 
Mankowitz’s adaptation of a novel by 
L. P. Hartley, who wrote The Go 
Between, discreetly maintains the surface 
decorum of a Victorian drawing room. 
Meticulously directed by Alan Bridges, 
and played with intensive care for every 
псе by Miss Miles and Robert Shaw, 
es some fine points about 
> between а well 
y and the people 
kitchen. and 


who muck about 
drive one's 


ars. 


The delicate diplomatic ties between 


the and Israel are apt to suffer addi. 


director Norman Jewison’s film version 
of Jesus Christ Superstar, the overcelebrated 
rock opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber 
and egoers who saw 
what Jewison did with Fiddler on the 
Roof, and liked it, should find the gau 
cherie of Jesus Christ far beyond their 


Men and machines take an unmerciful beating in 
the gruelling Baja Road Race. So does a car wax. 

Before the start of the race, three of the Simoniz 
Team Datsuns were waxed with new Simoniz? Pre- 
soft—the other three with Simoniz Liquid. The next 
500 miles are now history. The drivers flogged their 
Datsuns through dry river beds filled with abrasive sand 
—plunged through axle-deep mud the consistency of 
heavy grease. During the day, the sun beat down like a. 
heat lamp gone crazy— 
at night, temperatures 
plummeted below treez- 
ing. When it was all over, 
the Datsuns were so 
heavily encrusted with 
baked-on filth, it was 
hard to determine their 
original color. 


Could any car wax take this terrific punishment? 
Simoniz Pre-soft and Liquid did. A quick wash at En- 
senada removed every trace of mud and grime. All six 
cars were as bright and sparkling as they were at the 
start—except for a few small rock chips and one minor 
scrape on the mini-pickup shown above, caused by 
an encounter with a cactus just outside of San Felipe. 

Simoniz Pre-soft and Liquid—the two new car 
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PLAYBOY 


42 


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expectations. 
s à bubblebi 


in the Holy 
ned notion in the 
c (sec Jesus Christ Superham in 
our July issue), since the show's pop-rock 
appeal, rooted in sheer theatrical artifice, 
looks paper-thin when splattered across 
the ancient landscapes of Isracl in а 
hopeless quest for authenticity. Authentic 
is not, and Jewisou flaunts his initial er- 
rors of judgment by wansporting hyper- 
thyroid Broadway banality to the Negev 
on a truly stupendous scale. 5 

posed images, splashes of un 
on the camera lens and silhouettes framed 
ust glowing sunsets are among the 

itional platitudes that Jewison 
while an ebu 

company belts out the score with more 
energy than art. Yvonne Elliman, recru 
ed Irom the Broadway company, as Mary 


are at least 
generally opa 
endar icon with 
portrayal of 


dequate, but Ted Necley is 
jue in the title role, a cal- 
reedy voice, whose 
‘hrist ought to бх him 
in public memory as the 
min’ Jesus. It's a clean sweep for the 
Philistines. 


RECORDINGS 


The praise for There Goes Rhymin‘ Simon 
(Columbia) has been so extrava 
that you may be inclined to be skepti- 
calif you haven't heard the record. 
гаш Simon has become the most ım pol 
tant singer-songwrit merica 
portant because he renders his deepest. 
perceptions of love, family and the Amer 
icm scene with wit, wisdom and the 
greatest musical skill. Everything here is 
approached with a kind of easy control, 
without personal or musical self 

iousness. А Gospel favor underscores 
h of this music. Bur there's 
lovely jazrish ballad, Something So Right 
(with ringed strings), 
which shifts to country rhythm and style 
in the last verse, American Tune has a 
most impressive set ol Lyrics and seems to 
be Paul's hymn to his sense of national 
identity—ambivalent, unsentimental and 
fme. In. Learn. How to Fall, with its 
echoes of carlicr Simon and Garfunkel 
tunes, we're given more common-sense Si- 
mon philosophy. Aud ii 
Kock, the album's cappa 
by the Disie Hummingbirds drives home 
Paul's wonderfully humorous serious ac 
(t of how momma's love helps punc 
ture the Devils pretensions. This disc is 
pure delight from be g to end. 

Al Stewart's Museum of Modern Bross (RCA 
Quadvadise) has а lot more going for it 
than the brass.choir shtick, which seems 
to have crested a while back, thank God. 
There are four wumpets—doubling on 
piccolo trumpet and Fliigelhorn—a tuba, 
French horn and bass trombone, plus а 


also a 


Jones 


Gospel singing 


[dozen rhythm pieces, and the musi- 
cianship. spearheaded by Stewart, is 
superb. But what the group has done 
that’s most intriguing is segue back and 
forth in both material and mood from 
pre-Baroque to pop. interm 
goes. Stewart & Co. take on Viva а 
and Purcell, something from Leonard 
Bernstein's Mass, the chart-busting Amaz- 
ing Grace and the comtemporary classic 
A Whiter Shade of Pale. For some it will 
provide а painless introduction to “seri 
ous” music. For others it will simply be 
asant hall-hour's ng— 


Paul McCartney and Wings, flying high 
n the charts with Red Rose Speedway 
(Apple) and the sweet, almost sappy sin 
gle from it, My Love, cop the title of 
Worst Rock Band Around. The trouble is 
t while Paul and the lovely Linda 
m to prefer the lighter, entertainment 
side of rock, this sort of music becomes ju 
venile trash if it isn’t well played. The 
most interesting cut on the album is 
Loup (Ist Indian on the Moon), which, 
with its Moog, bass and organ, sounds as 
il it were stolen from Ellington's The 
Mooche. The rest, including most ol 
the concluding Medley, should have 
been silence, 


А bunch of high-energy freaks out of 
the J. Geils Band, have finally 
gotten it all together on a red-viny 
called Bloodshot (Atlantic). As 
Tock^n'rolL-1kb eltort as we've heard this 
year, it succeeds because of the joint song- 
writing talents of madman vocalist Peter 
Wolf and keyboarder Seth Justman, who 
wrote seven of ihe nine tunes. The pace is 
set by (Ain't Nothin’ but a) House Party, 
а vollicking blast given firm foundation 
by Seth's organ. There's a country stomp 
(Strutiin" with My Baby). a very mobile 
Southside Shuffle and сусп a sincere, s 
dued ballad trom the usually exuberant 
Wollie, Make Up Your Mind. After а 
pretty disastrous live album, Full House, 
J. Geils has come back very strong. 


Boston. 


The art of folk si 
spect, even а reverence, for history—the 
forms, 
ıt аге me: 


ng demands a n 


rüsts and songs of the 
ngtul to the sins 
me time, the singer has his own i 
ity t0 consider and must create new 
vehicles for sensibility, Arlo 
Guthrie has made this synthesis, bril- 
linntly, in Last of the Brooklyn Cowboys (Re- 
prise). Everything from an Irish fiddle 
medley to Bob Dylan's Gales of Eden 
takes on Arlo's own spe 
low-keyed deference. Miss the Mississippi 
and You, a saccharine old country hit, is 
done perfectly straight, even including, 
some yodeling, and it works. There ar 
five of Arlo’s own tunes and one of father 


his ow 


coloring 


Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow. 


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OF SUREFIRE 

LIGHTS 


[o] 
Disposable Butane Lighter*1#9 
Gillette makes it work. 


Othe Gillette со. Boston, Маза. 


Gr.M.ot S3. Dupont S.A. 


Woody's best, Ramblin’ Round. which is 
the high point in the finest folk album his 
son has yet produced. 


Six years 
souls, the J 
together for 


до. a group of congenia 
mmy Rushing All 5 


s. got 
recording session. One of 
the great things to come out of that ses- 


sion is Who Wes It Sang That Song? (M JR). 
The All Stars consisted of the Inte Mr. 
ive-by-Five doing the vocals, Buck С 
ton on trumpet, Dickie Wells on trom- 
bone, Julian Dash on tenor sax, Sir 
Charles Thompson's piano, Eugene Ra- 
ney on bass and the marvelous drumming 
of Jo Jones. The high point, as it usually 
was ina Rushing session. is the blues—a 
medley of Stormy Monday Blues and Jelly 
Jelly. The interplay between. Rushing 
d Clayton provides 4 great moment 
wz. The last couple of lines of the lyrics 
we poignantly apropos: "Anybody ask 
you, baby, who was it sang this sou 
‘em linde Jimmy Rush 
and gone.” The album is available for 
D from Master Jazz Recordings, Вох 
579, Lenox. Hill Station, New York, New 
York 10021. 


Scott Joplin was not Janis’ father. He 
was one of America’s first black compos 
ers of importance and the most successful 
creator of thar strutting. heavily sy 
pated, happy music for band and p 
: gime. No music had caught 
public fancy the way ragtime did in 
the first two decades of this century. And 
^s rags were far above the compe 
tion. In the past few yeas, there has be 
great resurgence of interest in ragtime, 
partly because of its pop usc of classical 
materials, and now some rare, authentic 
Joplin orchestrations have been recorded 
by ther Schuller The Red Back Book 
(Angel) with New England Conserva- 
tory musicians. This is à nostalgic treat. 
All the great ones, including Maple Leaf 
Rag amd The Entertainer, ave here— 
some, such as Sun Flower Slow Drag, 
definitely looking forward to jazz. others, 
such as The Rag Time Dance. featuring 
foot stamping. clapping and antiphonal 
runs. Some of these pieces may sound a 
trifle cute and contrived, but each is full 
of variety and zest. Right on. Scott. 


The tentative trumpet of Chet Baker 
fills Albert's House (Beverly Hills) with a 
soft, ingratiatingly humble sound. Never 
one to knock you down with his horn, 
Baker has become even more diffident 
over the years. Here. in the company of a 
small group that includes such luminaries 
as guitarist Barney Kessel and drummer 
pp. Chet presents а 
Steve Allen concert. And Allen's tunes 
hold up well under Baker's tender care 


icky Hopkins has played on all the 
Stones’ albums since Satanic Majesties, as 
well as on last summer's tour. Before that, 
it was Quicksilver, the Airplane and Jeff 


Beck. among others. He's the most 
ubiquitous, and maybe the most talented, 
session man in rot Now comes The Tin 
Mon Wes © Dreamer (Columbia), a super- 
session that doesn't always come off but 
that has great moments. Such dis 
guished folk as Jerry Williams. George 
O'Hara, Mick Taylor, Chris Spedding, 
Klaus Voormann and Bobby Keys are 
heard Irom. The Hopkins piano talents 
re considerable, ranging from a Spanish- 
classical opener to an Albert Ammons 
boogie at the end. In between, the weak 
moments tend to focus on Nicky's wislıy 
washy voice or heavily orchestrated, re 
c tunes such as The Dreamer. When 
the pros get down to business—as in the 
ing. horn blowing, Stoncs- 
type vehicle Speed On—they are superb. 


THEATER 


Previews: Broadway faces another season 
looking backward. For Carol Cl 
diamonds will always be а 
friend: She will return in an updatin 
her old favorite, now called Lorelei. Т. 
tor-choreographer Michael. Bennett 
becomes a producer with Pin-ups, 
to the pinups through the Forties. Gwen 
Verdow's new vehicle, Chicago, directed by 
her husband, Bob Fosse. is а musical based 
on the aged Maurine Watkins comedy 
that was once made into the movie Roxie 
Hart. And in cise anyone has forgotten. 
it, there will be а revival of the Lerner- 
Loewe movie musical Gigi, starring Alfred 
Drake 

Not st 


ic but still capital- 
© Raisin, a musicaliza- 
Hausberry's 4 Raisin in 
the Sun. and Arcadie, by Austin Pendleton 
Arthur (not the pianist) Rubinstein and 
Gretchen Cryer, starring Jason Robards, 
Jr. as the renowned actor, Junius Brutus 
Booth. E. Y. Harburg reaches farther 
back into history—to the 13th Century 
Children's Crasade—for musical Wher 
а Day for а Miracle. 

One of the most highly acclaimed 
ight plays marked for Broadway is 
Peter Nichols’ London hit Forget Me Not 
Lene, in which an Englishman reflects on 
his past—in the Forties, of course. with a 
salute to Betty Grable. The play Turtle 
necks, by Bruce Jay Friedman and Jacques 
Levy, is new, but the actor is familiar— 
Tony Curtis, in his Broadway debut. 

Among other productions promised are 
Edward Albee's lon; ited play about 
evolution, Seascape; Mart Crowleys A 
Breeze from the Gulf. about а boy's growing 
up in Mississippi: and Full cirde, by the 
ate Erich Maria Remarque, about World 
At least two old- 
are scheduled—How- 
rdson's Play with a Dead Body and 
Veronica's Room, by Rosemary's Baby's 
poppa, Ira Levin. Even Neil Simon is 
looki backward: his play, The Good 
Doctor, is based on Chekhov short stories. 


The happy vodka. 
Gordo T | 


To a vodka drinker, happiness is 
smoothness. Smooth mixing. 
Smooth tasting. And smooth going down. - 


Gordon's is 
the vodka with the 
Patent on smoothness. 


"That's why Gordon's is 
the Happy Vodka. So make it Gordon's. And make it happy. at 


80 PROOF. OISTILLEO FROM GRAIN. GOROON’S DRY GIN CO., LTD, LINDEN, N.J. 


45 


Your solution to the gas 
have to be an ugly one. 


ے 


—— 


"The sporty Toyota Celica ST. . 
It averaged 25 mpg in tests conducte, 
by an independent laboratory. 


shortage doesnt 


Take the Toyota 
Celica ST, for example. 
It averaged 25 mpg% 

And yet it comes 
with a 1968cc over- 
head cam engine, four- 
on-the-floor, radial 
tires, hood vents, 
racing stripes, tach- 
ometer, woodgrain-style 
accents, reclining front 
bucket seats, carpeting, clock, even a 
radio. All standard. 

It aleo comes with one of the longest 
normal maintenance intervals in the 
industry. Six months or 6000-miles, 
whichever comes first. 

"That's just one example. 

There are plenty of other models 
where it came from. 19 to be exact. 

р Sedans, Station Wagons. 
Land Cruisers. Hardtops. 


The Celica ST is no plain jane 
on the inside, either. 
Automatic. A/C a 


= Pickups. Sporty 
Coupes. Every last 


not only with 
economy in mind. 
But also with people 
in mind. 

No, gas rationing 
isn't a pretty thought. 
Neither is the rising 
price of gasoline. 

But the solution can be a car that 
squeezes extra miles out of the 
precious gallon. And at the same time, 
still gives you styling. And comfort. 
And performance. 

The solution can be a Toyota. 


TOYOTA 


See how much car your money can buy. 


ape optional 


one of them designed 


If gas economy were the only reason to buy an economy car, 
you'd still have a big choice of Toyotas. For instance, our Corolla 5-speed 
averaged 28 mpg in tests conducted by an independent laboratory. 


47 


Winchester 
separates the men...from the boys. 


©1973 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. 


en big b Neale 20 LITTLE CIGARS. ə 
fou're с big boy now. And when your taste grows up, your pu 
smoke should, too. Winchester is a very mature smoke. Ask ony — Н 

woman. She'll tell you that Winchester is slim and sexy, with a 

filtered smoothness. Mild and light. She'll tell you that Winchester M NCHESTER 
isn't heavy-handed on aroma. One gentle whiff whispers in her 
ear: “It's not a cigarette. Not just another little cigar. It's a whole 
‘nother smoke!’ Very adult. And she'll tell you that when you're 
man enough for Winchester, you're man enough for her. 


Winchester. It's a whole ‘nother smoke. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


WI, girltricnd and 1 have а good rela- 
tionship. with опе exception—when 1 
folate onc of the rules in her book of cti 
quette, she is quick to measure my fall 
from grace. For example, when we ar- 
rived late at the theater recently, I was 
of the car and heading for the box of- 
fice before I realized that she was still in 
the саг. waiting for me to open the door 
scene: she accused me of 
g and said that I should 
ly perform such acis out 
spect for her. I believe that if someth 
done out of habit, it cannot be a sign of 
respect. Her obeisince to arbitrary forms 
of social behavior seems to me to be a rel 
of the last century. And it iscontradict 
We never have ctr-door-type cantretemps 
in bed, where she is spontaneous. 
tive and capable of responding to the rule 
of the moment. Can you put this matter 
in perspective? 1 can't believe that my oc- 
sional infractions are felonies —J. H., 
Providence. Rhode Island. 

A person who stresses eliquelte may 
be insecure about the content of a rela- 
tionship. Etiquette is a French word [or 
ticket; we feel. as you obviously do, that 
the play's the thing. Work out a plot that 
will avoid conflict and that will create 
confidence in your future as a couple. If 
your girlfriend continues 10 engage in 
hand-to-hand etiquette, you may hive to 
consider a new costar. 


for her, We had 


One shoe of an expensive new piir of 
white patent leathers has 
squeak, The noise is not noticeable in 
crowds, but when I walk in the carpeted 
halls at the offce, it sounds as though 
] were treading on unpaid bill 
с I eliminate. this noi 
, Minois. 

Drive a nail through the arch (the tac- 
lic used to silence loose floor hoards and 
Transylvanian counts). Take the shoe off 
lust. The noise originates in a hollow 
space between the sole and the upper 
shoe. If the nail does not do the trick, а 
repairman may have to take the shoc 
apart and fill the space. If that fails, by 
paying your bills. 


Traci 


1 gives us sex in the shower; 
technology gives us the battery-powered 
ator. Will a combination ol the two 
shock my girliriend:—T. E, Washing- 
ton, D.C 

Shock her? Probably not. Excite her? 
Perhaps. It is unlikely that a batlery- 
powered vibrator could harm your girl- 
friend in the shower or elsewhere, bul the 
water might harm the vibrator by short- 
ing out the batteries or by corroding the 
metal fittings. Until the vibrator folks 
market a waterproof product, you'll have 
to improvise. A tightly sealed plastic bag 


or a condom placed over the vibrator 
should protect the vital parts without 
spoiling the party. Electrical devices that 
plug into wall sockets should never be 
used near water. 


М\/ с standing next to the booze table 
at а party. | noticed a big, soggy worm 
curled next to а boule of tequila. I was 
going to throw the worm out. but my host 
n up, took the worm and swallowed 
whole. He said that distillers of tequila 
seal а live worm inside each bottle to 
cat the impurities, after which it dies and 
settles to the онот. He called the bever- 
age "golden-worm mescal" and said that 
the worm is considered а delicacy south of. 
the border. He also claimed that it h 
psychedelic properties like LSD or mi 
ine. Is this somebody's idea of a р 
joke?—5. H., Pueblo, Colorado. 

Your host is a gullible gourmet and his 
dict of worms is in part a practical joke 
The worm is a white grub known as the 
gusano de maguey; it lives im the m 
plant from which tequila and mescal are 
made. Mexicans think the grub is a great 
er treat than snails, but they usually savor 
it without sauce. The bottled version is a 
come-on for louristy. According to cus- 
tom. you eai the worm after yow'ue con- 
sumed the entire bottle of tequila. You 
тау start seeing things, but the worm is 
not to blaine. Finally, we hope that your 
friend acquired his tequila in Mexi 
co—the worm in bottles imported to the 


U.S. is made of plastic. 
Bam 29 and have been married lor five 
years. T was totally faithful to my hus 
band—mentally and physically—uni 
six months apo. Since then, I have be 
to bed with three different men and I'm 
considering others. I seem to be obsessed 
with sex, sex, sex. Although I have a very 
liberal attitude about ext al sex, 
my husband certainly does nor share my 
view, and it would mean the end of what 
we both consider à good marriage if he 
caught me. We have atisfactory 
sex life except for the inevitable same 
ness. No matter how we vary our love- 
making, it's still а matter of routine. E 
find it exquisitely exciting to pre 
myself for lovemaking with someone else. 
The extra care I take with my appe 
ance. the delicious anticipation of the 
unknown and the wild abandon of feel- 
nother man's touch are irresistible 
my body for the 
first time makes me feel like а virgin 
again. 1 


a very 


ad forgotten that my breasts 
were sensitive until one of the men I 
was with admired them for some time be- 
fore making love. In a sense. he created 
my breasts with his kisses. Whether or 
not 1 climax with these other men is 


Puta Beefeater 
on your 
Beefeater: 


/ IMPORTED 
ff ii [ROM ENGLAND 


BEEFEATER 


Put this colorful ceramic 
pourer on any bottle of 
Beefeater. 

It’s hand-painted and 
made by Wade of England. 
Just $1.95 postpaid. 


British Traditions 


i 

P.O. Box 4072, Dept. P-9 l 
Grand Central Station, N. Y. 10017 1 
I enclose $1.95 in check or | 
money order for one Beefeater | 
pourer. | 
Name cec “шй. | 
Street. i 
СОГ НЕ: tae ا‎ | 
Allow 4 weeks delivery. Offer ! 

| good only in U. І 
| where permissible. | 


PLAYBOY 


50 


More people use Desenex 
to help stop Athlete's Foot 


than any other remedy. 


DESENEX® is America's number one 
Athlete's Foot preparation. 

That's because anti-fungal Desenex 
contains a medically-proven formula 
that has successfully helped millions 
of sufferers. And the number gels 
bigger every year. 

To help heal Athlete's Foot, use 
Desenex Ointment at night and Desenex 
Powder, or Aerosol, during the day When 
Desenex is used routinely, continued 
protection against fungous infection 
is assured. 

To fight Athlete's Foot, or prevent 
its recurrence, use the preparation with 
the best track record of 
them all-Desenex. 


анпғоновь 


{Soothing «Cool 
Medicated 
Foot Care, 


ceu Also available in Solution form. 
SFHPRMALRAFT 
© 1973 Prarmacralı Division Ponnwalt Corporation 


Introducing 


The first accurate speaker for rock music. 


Rock music freaks have always dug 
the powerful, deep bass that they 
could push out of AR speakers; 
and now, with the AR-8, we've 
combined that gutsy low- 
frequency response with a 

new tweeter and crossover 
network to put out a really 

hard and sizzling high end 


The AR-8 has the quick 
transient response that 
makes rock sound right, 
broad dispersion, and high- 
lemperature voice Coils to 
handle the power il takes to 
really fill up a room. Sug- 
gested retail price is $119 


Although the AR-B sounds 
great On rock. it is still very 
much AR. Accurate clear 
Sound, with wide frequency 
response, minimal distortion, 
and all the engineering excel- 
lence and care in manufacturing 
thal has made AR the largest-selling 
and most respected name in high fidelity 
speaker systems. 


Write for detailed literature 


“ACOUSTIC RESEARCH, INC 
10 AMERICAN DRE, 
HORWOOD. mass 07082 


irrclevant—it is the attention 1 get that 
makes it so alluring. 1 care for the men 
with whom I go to bed, but as far as any 
deep emotional involvement, there is 
none, nor do I want any. My question is: 
Am 1 sick? My sister says that I have a 
compulsion to be self-destructive, but 1 
can't go along with that. I am enjoying 
these men and the situations they create 
simply because they are enjoyable men.— 
Mrs. P. B., San Francisco, Californ 

It's our experience that adultery is the 
crime people commit when they need to 
feel wanted. You already know what the 
consequences will be if you get caught 
Perhaps you should talk to your husband 
about your need for more altention—you 
1 find all you need at home. 


mig 


Would you please settle a disagree- 
ment between my husband and me? He 
claims that when he sucks on my breasts, 
they emit a fluid that he сап taste. I 
say that this is impossible, as I am not 
pregnant and never have been. Who is 
right? Irs. C. L., Arnold, Maryland. 

TL is not unusual jor the breasts of 
а nonpregnant, nonlactating female 10 
emit small amounts of fluid. A slight hor- 
monal imbalance may be involved, but 
according to the American Medical Asso- 
Ciation, а light discharge from the breasis 
is no cause for alarm. A visit to your 
gynecologist would be a good idea—if 
nothing else, to reassure you. 


Ё. grown very fond of a young girt 
Ive been dating. However, when 1 at- 
tempt to extend my affection to include 
intercourse. she pleads that she likes me 
too much to go to bed with me—that if 
we did so. we would become too emo- 
tionally dependent on cach other and 
eventually one of us would be hurt. She 
claims she has no objections to sex as 
such and she says she regularly sleeps with 
another guy for sexual release, though he 
means nothing to her. Her suggestion is 
that I find someone else to go to bed 
With, so that we can remain just good 
friends. Needless to say, I am confused 
by her auitude, What сап E 402—5. B 
Houston, Texas 

Take her advice; find other girls. It is 
apparent that she thinks of you as a com 
panion, not as а sexual accomplice. Her 
complex rationalizations about emotional 
involvements could have been borrowed 
Jrom elderly and bitchy newspaper col 
umnisis and are meant to confuse the 
enemy. The story of the louer she sleeps 
with for purely sexual reasons may be a 
figment of her imagination—a reflection 
of her inexperience. We can hope that 
as she matures, she will find better ways 
lo say по (or even maybe) to sexual 
pressure. There is only one way to say yes. 


EMi; sporis car came equipped with 
radial tives, When I took it in for the 


‘Mount McKinley from Wonder Lake. Number VI of a series by Ansel Adams. Forinlormation on how to obtain reprints see your Wolverine dealer. 


America is within walking distance. 


It was in 1883 that we opened our first tannery on 
the banks of the Rogue River in Rockford, Michigan. 

But it really wasn't our year. 

1883 was the year of the railroad. The Northern 
Pacific made it to Seattle. The Southern 
Pacific made it to San Francisco. And so did 
the Atcheson, Topeka and the Sante Fe. 

It wasa golden age that opened 
up the country and revealed some 
glorious possibilities. Indus- Р 
trial America had begun. X 

"Today, alot of А, 
usare wondering 
what America 


was like before this whole industrial thing began. What 
ever happened to rural America, the original one? 

It’s still out there, but you can't see it from trains, 
or buses or cars or planes. You have to walk it toreally 
experience it. 

A lot of usare doing just that. Re-discovering a 
heritage. On foot. 

1883 wasn’t our biggest year. 

But 1973 may well be. 

Because we still make boots for 
walking. 


Wolverine Boots 
b 9 


These two available in women's styles also. 


For the Wolverine dealer nearest you, call: ВОО 213-6000 toll free. In Connecticut, call 1- ВОО 882-6500. @ 173 WOLVERINE мока о WIDE, INC.. ROCKFORD. MICHIGAN 51. 


PLAYBOY 


52 


The 
Old Timer. 


When you've been making satin sheets for over 20 
years, like we have, you use orly the softest acetate 
satin . „ . 225 x 78 thread count, (Some people 
don’t!) Your sheets are MACHINE WASHABLE, and 
you give people a choice of 12 colors for regular or | 
ROUND beds! Avocado, Tangerine, Gold, Red, Black, 
Bronze, Blue, Silver, Pink, , Mint or Orchid. 
(After 20 years, we know what we're doing 
in bed!) 

SHEET SETS (2 straight sheets, 2 cases) 
Double Set $20.50 Queen Set $23.50 
Twin Set 19.98 King Set 21.50 
Round 84” Set 43.50 Round 96” Set 49.95 


letter monogram on 2.cases—$200 — 
For fitted bottom sheet, add $2.00 to deuble ог twin 
price; 2.50 to queen; 3.00 to King price. Odd sizes on 
request, Send check or m.o. 50% deposit cm C.0.D.'s. 


SCINTILLA,? INC. 15: везна ғ 


"Chicago, 
Free 40-Page Color Calalog of our 


Saun rasnions тїп Every Order 


With a little help from a friend 
. . . you can host the perfect 
party . . . from an intimate get- 
together to a large convention. 
It's like being a guest at your 
own party! Whether business 
or pleasure, a little help from 
your Playboy Club can help 
you make a big impression. 
Call the friendly Catering 
Manager at any Playboy Club, 
Playboy Hotel or Playboy 
Club-Hotel today. Or write to 
Marilyn Smith, National Sales 
Director, Club Division, Dept. 
09324, Playboy Building, 919 
N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Illinois 60611. 


With a 
little help 
froma 
friend 


6000-mile. aty checkup, I asked the 
mechanic to rotate the tires. He said that 
the shop had a policy against гош 
radial tires but could not explain why 
Can yo 1. А. B., Dover, Delaware. 

Most tire experts agree that radials 
should not be rotated. Their bias stems 
from the lack of bias in radial tires. In an 
ordinary tire, the plies, or bells, cross one 
another diagonally; the plies in a radial 
tire run at right angles to the direction 
of travel. The two types of tires handle 
and wear differently: The tread of a con- 
ventional tire partially lifts off the road 
on turns; a radial lire has a special side 
wall that flexes on turns lo keep the en- 
tire tread on the road. The castes, or tilt, 
of cach wheel on a car is different and 
cach radial tire develops an individual 
sel, or pattern of wear. Changing а lire 
from one side to the other disturbs this 
pattern, upsets the axial balance of the 
lire and may severely alter the handling 
of your car. If necessary, you may rotate 
а tire from front to back on the same 
side of the car without disturbing the 
axial balance. 


(O ver the past few years, my husband 
and I seem to have lost the ability to have 
ngful verbal and physical commu 
ion, but I have hoped that our mar- 
riage could get back to its earlier, more 
promising footing. While my husband. 
was out of town, 1 found in his study 
Large and costly collection of the most fa 
out pornography imaginable, which led 
to a heated discussion on his return. I 
held that this sort of mater 
be in our home, where our children mi 
run it, and added that I found it 
personally degrading. He seemed to un- 
derstand, but I asked him if 
he had gotten rid of the literature, he said 
ing to and that we 
gain. I don't wi 
to blow up over this, but I 
feel th unless I can get him to 
see and respect my point of view, How 
do you suggest I handle th 
issuc?—Mirs. Н. B., Glenview, Illinois. 

Unless your hushand has abandoned 
experience and embraced fantasy, you 
do not necessarily have n valid complaint 
and you are not necessarily degraded. He 
has a right to enjoy pornography pri- 
vately if he wants to; you have a right 
10 demand that he respect your views. 
The collection should be kept from the 
children, if that is your wish. Howeve 
we think you should concentrate on the 
verbal and sexual breakdown in your 
marriage. You might begin by asking 
yourself what prompted you to rummage 
in your husband's study while he w 
out of town. 


Wi 


across sev 
nies du 
When I a 


s the purpose of came 
l of these bat ACCESSO- 
p to Europe this summe 


ked the bellhops to expla 


use, I received snickers and vague 
remarks that Napoleon's Ігу officers 
found them useful after a long day in 
the saddle, or that a bidet was next to 
the best place to read the International 
Herald Tribune. Gan you help?—T. O., 
Newark, New Jersey 

The bidet is basically a stationary 
douche—a toilet-shaped fixture that flush- 
es up in a fountain and washes one’s inti- 
mate parts. It was introduced in the early 
17005 (one perplexed merchant of the ета 
advertised the device as a porcelain violin 
case). The general idea was that after in- 
tercourse, a lady would sit on the bidet 
and bathe her genitals with the small 
fountain of water; the objectives were 
cleanliness and contraception. As a meth 
od of birth control, the gentle geyser was 
nol exactly an Old Faithful. The fixture 
remains in favor on the Continent, but it 
has yet 10 catch on in the United States. 
Both sexes find it hygienic, апа pleasur- 
able to bathe the genital and anal regions 
(and sometimes the feet), Should you 
want lo buy a bidet for your home, it will 
cost from S80 to $180. A six-month sub- 
scription to the International Herald 
Tribune costs $67.50. 


AX ies nights ago, my boyfriend and 1 
һай an unusual experience. After we had 
both climaxed, I was surprised to find 
that he still | ion. This upset 
me and I asked him if he'd had an orgasm 
(i'm mor usually mistaken about. that). 
He said that he had. When his penis 
ed erect for several more minutes, 1 
asked him if he wanted to do it again. He 
said that he was satisfied. We both agreed 
that we had never noticed his having an 
erect penis alter intercourse. before, 15 
this normal for a man who has been sex 
ually satished?—Miss М. S., Vancouver, 
Washington 

What goes up must come down, or rath 
er, what comes up must go down (it’s 
hard 10 keep these things straight). The 
time it takes for an erect penis to become 
flaccid after intercourse can vary consid: 
erably from individual to individual and 
within (or immediately without) one in 
dividual from time to time. Unless you 
truly hate to see an erection go to waste, 
or if your boyfriend was actually unsatis 
fied, you should let the matter stand. [is 
belter to have an erection when you no 
longer песа it than to have one по longer 
when you need it 


тот fash 
ion, Jood and drink, stereo and sports 
cars lo daling dilemmas, taste and. eti 
quette—will be personally answered if the 
writer includes a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent. queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


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REGULAR. MATRIX 


PLAYBOY 


ws 


Why eventhe 


of American 
should carry a 


"There's no executive credit card in the 
world that’s accepted at every worthwhile 
restaurant, every fine hotel, every shop. 
Not even Diners Club—the card preferred 
worldwide, with over 75,000* more 
member establishments than American 
Express. (Carte Blanche isa distant third. ) 

"That's why so many executives 
carry both Diners and American Express. 
Whatone doesn't cover, the other almost 
surely will. ( And there's that little extra 
convenience of paying two smaller monthly 
bills with different due dates, instead of one 
big one. ) 

The first executive card 

Whether you're a company president or an 
executive moving in ever-widening circles, 
the Diners Club card is essential. (If you 
only have the other leading executive credit 
card, it’s like having no card at all 
in75,000 places.) 

Of course, Diners is honored 
throughout the United States where we 
originated the executive credit card. 


And in Europe, you'll find us at 
30% more places than American Express. 
In Latin America, Asia and Africa, at 
more than three times as many. 

With a Diners Club card, you can 
also take advantage of a most unusual loan 
service exclusively for members. One that 
makes it possible to apply for as much as 
$25,000 without an interview. 

Because Diners Clubreaches 
beyond any other executive card, we do 
have tobe a little more cautious. We turn 
down membership applications others 
would gladly accept. 

But, if you qualify, you'll find the 
rewards of Diners Club membership to be 
substantial indeed. Even if you already 
haveanother credit card. 

Mail the application at the right and 
see for yourself. 


*Figures based on direct comparison of latest published Diners 
Club and American Exprcss directorics. 


(D DINERS CLUB 


Executive service is our business 


president 


Express 
Diners Club card. 


omm 


В DINERS CLUB 20-47-991 
10 Columbus Circle, New York, New York 10019 FOR OFFICE USE ONLY 


[PLEASE PRINT ALL INFORMATION] 


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C Personal Account. тай bill to residence C Personal Account—mail bill to office [Г] company Account—mait bill to office 


First Name [ШШ Date of Birth "Spouse (first name) 


2, Ом. Ом. Miss DM Month — Day — Year 
Home Street City ZIP Code 
Address 
Years at own Home L] Telephone (include area code) — | Number of ‘Social Security 
Present Address Rent [ul Dependent Children Number 
Previous Street City State ZIP Code Years 
Home Address there 
Firm Name or Empl Tank (when for company acount show company bun 


yer | Nature of Business Position 


Address Street City State ZIP Code 


Tana (wien for company ac 
Branch Adress (tty ana S 


nt show company Berka) 
Type ol Account Account No. 


Telephone (include area code) [реси Annual Earnings 


Tred REET ECE al ner тари CIO ЕЕЕ ACCOUNT типн) 


Pravou Employer (IT employed Бу above less an 3 years] or College/University if Recent Graduate] vers wan Tim a 
Year Graduated B 
Spouse's Employer Address | Annual Earnings 
5 з. 


Name and Address of Personal Reference (not living with you) Toomer Member E] Made Refrain СТ 


Cb Experience bone Preseni Member Г) Acti Me. 


Б. $17 FEE: covers 12 months! membership from date card is issued at $15 ‘Send me an aocitional Diners Club Gara at 37.50 lor a member of my inmediate tariy- 
First Name Middle Last Signature of Addon applicant Relationship 


plus 1 year’s subscription to Signature, the Diners Club Magazine, at $2. 
Subscription optional. Indicate choice below. Do NOT enclose check 
we will bill you later, 

L1 $17 Fee (includes Signature Magazine) С) $15 Fee (Membership Only) 


Please send me— applications for additional cards for members cf my firm/family. 


Undersigned authorizes exchange of credit information, the issuance of (D. 

credit cards as indicated and renewal and replacement thereof. Undersigned Ds 

agrees that each cardholder assumes joint and several responsibility for (DES of individual applicant zz 

all charges with company applicant, if Company Account, ог with primary 

applicant if Personal Account. Signature of Company Officer for Authorization of Company Account 
[WAVE YOU SIGNED THIS APPLICATION?) 


a 
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Tout ane Source of other Income 
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INSEPARABLE TRIO: sport coat, sweater and slacks, fated to be mated, totally interrelated. The threesome, in 100% wool, 
at fine stores everywhere. Stanley Blacker, 1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York © 1973 Stanley Blacker 


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Live At The Sahara Tahoe i3 
ELTON JOHN s 


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Е 


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© 1973 Record Club of America. #136 


ROY BUCHANAN з) 


TEMPTATIONS 684 
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55 


Room enough for two. 
Fun enough to breed a generation of sports car enthusiasts. 


BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS INC., LEONIA, N.J, 07605 


That was the MG-TC when it 
first turned Ami on to sports 
cars 26 years ago. 

And that's the MGB today. 

The MGBis a personal car. It 
simply isn't for everybody. It's for 
ihe person who likes to breathe 
nature and feel road. Who gets 
as much pleasure going 
someplace as getting there. 

Our four-speed, close-ralio 
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once you get the feel, it's as 
automatic as your reflexes. 
Accelerating through the gears. 
Or downshifting through a curve. 
Makes you feel that you're part 
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Sports car purists don'tlike it 
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fittings: Reclining bucket seats, 
covered steering wheel, center 
console, dual side mirrors, 
carpeting, cil cooler, mag-style 
wheels, radial-ply tires, and 
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and trip odometer. 

And the MGBis generating 
even more enthusiasm on the 
track, It is the reigning SCCA 
National Champion in E Produc- 
tion for the second year in a row. 

So have some fun and see 
your MG dealer. For his name and 
for information about overseas 
delivery, call (800) 447-4700. In 
Mlinois call (800) 322-4400. Calls 


are toll free 


The sports car Am 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


an interchange of ideas between reader and editor 
on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy”? 


BAD TASTE IN PORNO 

Some X-rated movies are enough to 
turn a man sex. I saw one flick in 
New York in which the best screwing is 
the financial onc the customers get. The 
film had little plot, left nothing to the im- 
agination, harped on four-letter words 
and gloried nner of gyrations 
save the m on, Those cru- 
saders who 
perverted or aroused to criminal sexual 
attack by such a film might be relieved 
to learn of my reaction: The high point 
of the picture for me was when the hero 
ine putan olive in her vagina and I found 
myself wondering whether or not it was 
pitted. 


David F. Myers 
New York, New York 
We prefer ours with a twist. 


NO CARD CARRIER 

Citizens for Decent Literature sent me 
a packet of propaganda and endosed a 
membership cird with my name on it д 
a number as a sponsor. The m 
signed by Charles H. Keating, Jr., clai 
that the organization has 310,000 sup- 
porters. If this figure is based on cards 
such as the one I got, unsolicited and 
inst my wishes, I believe that c 
fraudulent. I sent the contents of Keat- 
ings mailing to my postmaster together 
with U.S. postal form 2201, which re- 
quires purveyors of sexually oriented ad- 
verüsing 10 wke one’s паше off their 
mailing list. I urged that Keating's ad- 
vertising be investigated because of its 
misleading claims and the fact that the 
CDL appears to have an undeserved tax- 
exempt status. 


Charles J. Jones 
Portland, Oregon 
Citizens for Decent Literature bears 
some looking into, it would appear. As we 
reported in the April "Playboy Forum,” 
the attorneys general of New York 
Minnesota have been scrutinizing Keal- 
ing's mass mailings. Now comes word 
that North Carolina has refused to grant 
CDL permission to carry on its mail solic- 
itation campaign because 86.1 percent 
of the funds the organization reporied 
receiving in one year went into adminis- 
trative and solicitation costs. 


NO MORE BRICK WALLS 

1 thought you would want to know that 
Donn Caldwell, my husband, dicd sud- 
denly here in Cleveland in April. In his 
struggle for freedom in 1965, Donn had 


the help of the Playboy Foundation and 
the support of PLaynoy's readers. Donn 

ad [ had wonderful moments together 
and, because we shared so much, 1 unde 
stood the difficulties he sullcred. dus 
his postprison life. He obtained m 
jobs but lost them quickly either bec 
of his prison record or because he w 
trained in the field. This made him very 
depressed at times; as he would say, 
“Each time I think I have somewhere to 
ang my hat, I run into a brick wall.” It 
us very sad that he died only three 
months after our daughter was born, be 
cause I have never seen a happier father. 
She brought so much joy into his life th 
it almost made up for all his previous 
sullering. 


Anne Caldwell 
Cleveland, Ohio 
PLAYnoy joins Donn Caldwell's family 
in their sorrow at his untimely death. 
Donn first wrote to us in 1965 [vom 
the West Virginia State Penitentiary 
at Moundsville where he was serving 
an incredible one-to-len-year sentence for 
having oraLgenital relations with a con- 
senting woman—a crime in West Virginia 
and many other states. In 1966, after two. 
years of imprisonment, Caldwell was re- 
leased by a court order on the grounds 
that the sentencing court had failed to 
follow, as required by law, the finding of 
а slate psychiatrist that “This man is not 
harmful to society... .” As his wife tells 
us, though, recovering freedom didn't 
end the harm done to Caldwell by a bar- 
baric law. 


PECULIAR PERSECUTION 
G. Hunt, of Minneapolis, implies that 
Sheboygan, Wisconsin, is full of anti- 
screwing, puritanical witch hunters (The 
Playboy Forum, May). What L want to 
know is why Hunt picked on Sheboygan. 
I'm sure he would find а good number of 
fornication fines being levied in his own. 
city of Minneapolis if he looked into it. 
R. Paul 
Sheboygan, Wisconsin 
According to evidence gathered by au- 
thor Richard Rhodes for his article “Sex 
and Sin in Sheboygan” (PLavuoy, August 
1972), the city of Sheboygan “annually 
prosecutes more adults for fornication, 
adultery and lewd and lascivious behav- 
ior than any other city in the United 
States.” As reported in that article, one 
victim of this peculiar persecution com- 
mitted suicide. Other Sheboyganites, 


English 

Leather 
have 

Cream. 


One Man. 
One Scent. 


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shave cream, and another from 
after shave? Especially when 
you can have the clean, honest 
scent of English Leather After 
Shave in our Power Foam Shave 
Cream. 

You'll find your razor glides 
and shaves super-close. 

Afterwards, finish off with 
English Leather After Shave. 

You'll look like a million and 
you won't smell like two scents. 


R, 

RO IM 
Mex Foal M 
"Ave c REP 


Power Foam Shave Cream 11 oz, $1.50, 6 oz. $1.00 
‘citable 1n Canada. 
[L MEM COMPANY INC., Northvale, NJ.07647 _©1973 


57 


PLAYBOY 


58 


attempting to counter the city fathers’ 
sexual preoccupations witha little healthy 
ridicule, printed up bumper stickers that 
read SIN CITY—SHEBOYC. WISCONS! 
Bars that distributed the stickers were 
threatened with the loss of their licenses. 
All in all, it adds up to a bad scene, and 
we'd feel a lot safer doing our loving 
in Minneapolis. 


THE BEAVER PATROL 
A 15-year-old girl posing in the nude 
and a 19-year-old college student photo- 
graphing her were arrested on the cam. 
pus of Foothill College in Santa Clara 
County, California. The boy was charged 
with printing obscene matter, using a mi 
nor to manufacture obscene matter and 
contributing to the delinquency of a m 
nor. The girl was cited “for being in dan 
ger of leading a lewd and dissolute life." 
I don't see how anyone can justify 
wasting taxpayers’ money on such а 
stupid matter. How is it that in a country 
as scientifically and technologically ad- 
vanced as ouis, public officials still impose 
medieval morality on people? I hope such 
prudes will eventually die off and be re 
placed by a less inhibited generation. 1 
want my children free to decide for them. 
selves what is moral and what isn't 
Mrs. Rena Ba 
Redwood City, C. 


PERFORMING PENISES 

In response to the two men who blamed 
liberated women for their impotence 
problems in the May Playboy Forum 
How unfair n be? Both of those 
guys wanted women who were sexu 
free, but let the women st 
themselves to be equal to m 
spects, and men like that can't handle 
They pick up a woman, hoping to go to 
bed with her, and expect her to sa 
them; but if they discover the woman 
wants às much for herself, they ў p is 
a castrating female bitch. I say. 
good for tlic gander is good for Bs s 
When a woman goes to bed with 
because she digs sex as much 
does—so why shouldn't she show iè Why 
shouldn't she be honest and open and 
admit that she nts sexu 
without all the Jo: id. promises, which 
is what the male has been saying for so 
many years that he wants? 

10 seems to me that both these guys 
wanted the security of I the upper 
hand in bed. the feeling of being the con 
queror. Maybe they really did want love 
along with sex. but I guess they should 
make that clear when they pick a girl up. 

Beware, men! Women are as capable of 
sex without love or commitment as you 
rc. Now see if you can take it. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Colfax, California 


Two letters in the May Forum tell 
sad tales of men aficted with impo- 


tence while in bed with women described. 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy” 


FROM BUTTOCKS TO RELLY BUTTON 

COSTA MESA, CALIFORNIA—The city Of 
Costa Mesa has prohibited any woman 
from displaying her "natal cleft? The 
term is used in the city's anti-nudity ordi 
nance, based on a similar county ordi- 
nance, but a newspaper reporter could 
neither find it in medical dictionaries nor 
locate any city or county official who was 
able to define the term or even specify 
what part of the anatomy it describes. 
Contacting various councilmen, police of- 
ficials and doctors, the reporter found it 
interpreted as anything from buttocks to 
belly button and finally accepted the def- 
inition offered by а gynecologist: “The 
natal cleft,” he explained, “is the area 
of the body the city attorney is most 
uptight about.” 


SEX OBJECTS 

NEW YORK—A sergeant in the New 
York police morals squad spied four un- 
dressed mannequins in the window of а 
topless buy and charged the owners with 
depicting “portions of the human body 
that predominantly appealed to prurient 
interest.” A criminal-court judge dis 
missed the case and commented, “Tt 
should be a source of great concern to 
those in charge of this nation's. mentul 
health if the 1 of such topless man- 
nequins appeals to the prurient interest 
oj ihe average citis 

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, a manu- 
facturer of store-window dummies has 
introduced a line of “fully developed fe- 
male mannequins, replete with nipples,” 
explaining that they are a “necessity in 
а period where many women are going 
braless” The firm's business manager 
remarked that “five years ago, these man- 
nequins would have been considered 
pornographic.” 


MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO 

eroy, ENCLAND—Officials of the 
ington Zoo have inspired their chim- 
panzees to male by showing them sex 
The movie was a BBC television 
documentary showing chimps cuddling 
and kissing, and the primate audience 
quickly got the idea. According to a тоо 
spokesman, one eight-year-old female 
chimp named Cressida became “turned on 
and overcome with passion. We hope to 
hear the patter of tiny chimpanzee feet 
here soon,and all thanks to the film.” 


movi 


NUDE CLUBS CLORBERED 

SAN rRANCECO—N ude nightclub acts 
and topless waitresses may soon be e: 
tinct in California—where it all began— 
as а result of а slate supreme court de- 
cision. The court upheld the authority 


of local governments to prohibit nudity 
anywhere but in a theater, and police in 
San Francisco, Los Angeles and other cit- 
ics immediately began raiding topless 
bottomless bars. Last December, the U.S. 
Supreme Court ruled that state liquo: 
control boards could use their licensing 
power to discourage nude entertainment 
in places selling alcoholic Leverages, but 
this involved fairly lengthy and compli- 
cated administrative procedures. Some 
clubs were simply abandoning booze in 
favor of sex. Under the new ruling, police 
can again close down bars and clubs and 
arrest employees and performers on the 
basis of local anti-mudity ordinances. 


CONTRACEPTIVE CONTROVERSY 
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Federal Food 
and Drug Administration has started 
investigating firms manufacturing intra- 
uterine coniraceplive devices after receiv- 
ing reporis that at least some types of 
I. U. D.s can lead to serious medical prob- 
lems. During a House subcommittee hear- 
ing, a number of physicians testified that 
they were encountering a significant 
number of cases in which I. U. D.s caused 
excessive cramping and bleeding and, oc- 
casionally, such complications as sterility, 
hemorrhage, infection and tubal preg- 
nancy. The FDA has already seized 9000 
1. U. D.s called the Majrlin Spring be- 
cause of possible danger to users. Defend- 
ing the I.U.D., spokesmen for the 
Planned Parenthood Association, the 
Population Council, the American Col- 
lege of Obstetricians and Gynecologists 
and a major manufacturer all testified 
that the devices have been proved safe 
and effective, and that complaints are 
rare, considering that I. U. D.s are used 
by more than 3,000,000 women in the 
U.S, and 10,000,000 women in other 


HOMOSEXUAL RAPE 

SANFORD, FLORIDA—A county circuit- 
court jury has found four male prisoners 
guilty of raping a cellmate in what may 
be the country’s first rape conviction for 
а homosexual act. The defendants could 
receive maximum sentences of life impris- 
оптепі. A state's attorney said the case 
could have broad legal significance “be 
cause it has a direct bearing on the prob- 
lems we have in U.S. prisons.” 


PENSIVE FREE SPEECH 

PASADENA, CALIFoRNIA—IVealthty oil- 
man Ross McCollum says he has changed 
his mind about giving $1,000,000 to the 
California Institute of Technology be 
cause students hung an IMPEACH NIXON 
banner from the school library. In an 


open letter to the student body, he ex- 
plained, “I would be just a damn fool 10 
contribute my money to the kind of insti- 
tution that can't control its students.” 


EQUAL TIME FOR THE BIBLE 

Nasnvitte—Darwinian theory is again 
under legislative attach—48 years ajter 
the famous Scopes “monkey trial" and six 
years after Tennessee finally repeated its 
law against teaching evolution in public 
schools. The new law passed by the legis- 
lature does not prohibit all mention of 
evolution, but requires that it be pre- 
sented strictly as theory and that any lı 
book give “commensurate attention to, 
and an equal amount of emphasis on, the 
origins and creation of man and his world 
as the same is recorded in other theories, 
including, but not limited to, the Genesis 
account in the Bible.” However, the law 
expressly forbids “the teaching of all 
occult or satanical belies of human 
origin...” 

Similar efforts to protect students from 
Darwinism failed last year in California, 
bul are still pending in the Georgia 
legislature. 


NICE TIMING 

ommacmnan, JArAN—A 48-year-old 
convicted murderer has been hanged 
after living 13 years on death row. During 
that time, he transcribed 850 books into 
Braille, but was executed before he could 
finish Fyodor Dostoicuskys “Crime and 
Punishment.” 


DEATH AND TEXAS 

AUSTIN, TEXAS—The state house of rep- 
resentatives passed a capital-punishment 
bill over the opposition of several mem- 
bers who tried, but failed, lo amend й in 
imaginative ways. For example: 

+ Mowe the electric chair [rom the state 
prison at Huntsville into the house cham- 
bers so members could take a final vote 
before watching a condemned man fry. 

+ Build a portable electric chair that 
could be set ир outside any county court- 
house to provide “family entertainment 
on Sunday afleynoons.” 

+ Abandon the electric chair because of 
the energy crisis and return to hanging. 

» Feed condemned men to lions in the 
slate prison's rodeo arena, which “is not 
used 11 months out of the year. 

The proposed law would require man 
datory death sentences for murderers of 
policemen, firemen and jail guards, and 
one representative said the list should be 
amended to include legislators. An op: 
ponent responded, “This amendment is 
frivolous, because the people of Texas 
know that a member of the legislature is 
not worth killing.” 


DOPE AND TEXAS 

austin, TExAS—Only hours before ad- 
journment, the Texas legislature voted to 
reduce the penalty for simple marijuana 


possession of up to four ounces from 
a felony to a low misdemeanor. Under 
the old law, possession of any amount, 
even seeds, was punishable by two years 
to life in prison—ihe harshest penalty ex- 
isting anywhere except in Communist 
China. The new law provides maximum 
penalties of $1000 and six months in jail 
for possession of two ounces or less and is 
expected to result in reduced sentences or 
release for many of the 700 persons now 
serving terms averaging nine and a half 
years in Texas prisons [or marijuana 
violations. (See letter in this month's 
“Playboy Еотит.") 


\ A FEW, LOSE A FEW 

BERKELEY. CALIFORNIA—The Berkeley 
city council's attempt to stop police from 
enforcing marijuana laws has been ruled 
void and unconstitutional. The council, 
obeying the terms of a voter initiative, 
had ordered police to obtain its permis- 
sion before making any pot busts, but the 
Alameda Gounty superior court granted 
а permanent injunction against applying 
the order on the ground that the initia- 
tive was т direct conflict with various 
state laws. 


POT IN HIGH PLACES 

WASHINGION, D.c—Pot smoking by 
members of President Nixon's Camp 
David military guard and by crewmen 
aboard the Presidential yacht, Sequoia, 
has resulled in the transfer of 30 sailors 
and 28 marines, Not all of the men were 
accused of using marijuana, but the De: 
fense Department said that the sensitivity 
of the assignments and special clearance 
procedures required total replacement of 
the guard unit and yacht crew. 


AGE AND ALCOHOL 

BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA— Ге idea that 
alcoholism is primarily a phenomenon of 
middle age has been challenged by а 12 
year study that found serious drinking 
problems most common among men in 
their early 20s. The research, funded by 
the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse 
and Alcoholism, determined that: 

+ About 68 percent of American adults 
drink. 

* Men 21 to 24 аге most susceptible to 
every hind of alcohol-related problem. 

+ Many persons begin to “mature out” 
of drinking problems after age 25 

+ Middle-age alcoholism appears to be 
“initiated by drinking habils begun in 
one's early 20s, rather than by later pat- 
terns acquired after the age of 10.” 

+ Although drinking is more common 
in the upper socioeconomic classes, lower 
income drinkers are more susceptible to 
alcohol-related problems 

* Drinking problems ave most prev- 
alent among lower-income men, city 
dwellers, Catholics and persons of Trish or 
Latin American ancestry. 


as liberated. I'm not sure if а liberated 
m is a follower of Germaine Greer 
one who fucks a lot (these defini 
Пу exclusive), but it’s 


or j 
tions are not mutu: 
clear that both these men need liberating 


themselves from a common American sex- 
ual hang-up: the idea of sex as some kind 
of competition. Artificiality. opportun 


ism, a machinelike manner, uptightness 
are the characteristics of a man wlio be- 
lieves that winning in competition is the 


only thing that counts; such a personality 
n turn а bed into a disaster arca. Un- 
able to enjoy sensuous pleasure for its 


a woman who is à st 
who, he suspects, ing him against 
other men on her own private peter me- 
ter, the hypercompetitive man is a likely 
candidate for impotence. 

The cure for all this, obviousl 
мор trying so hard, Men not trying too 
wouldn't write to national maga- 
zines describing episodes of impotence а 

amities in their lives. So what if a man 
doesn't get it up on a particular occasion? 
He'll get it up next time. So what if some 
woman doesn't like him or—horror of 
horrors—tells him he's a lousy lay? No- 
body is keeping score. Of course, it would 
be a mistake for a man to say to him- 
self. “IL I relax and stop trying to be so 
competitive, then more women will want 
10 go to bed with me and I'll always be 
able to get a Вак оп." That would just 
be wying by trying not to wy—which is 
nought but self-deception. The problem 
is not poor performance: the problem is 
worrying about perform 1. What 
а man should hope for is to enjoy sex. 
however it happens, a lot more. 

Robert Porter 
New York, New York 


THE BUMBLING MALE 
ў ave trouble making 
r bodies and are org; 
cally anesthetized. but many men have a 
nt sort of problem that is just as se- 
2 When it comes to making love, they 
are ignorant bumblers. 
I'm a young woman who has been 
joying sexual intercourse for two уса 
Having sought out a variety of partu 
Tye come to certain conclusions about 
пеп: (1) only five percent really care 
whether or not the woman comes: (2) an 
other 20 percent are decent fucks; (3) an 
apr 75 percent totally ignore the 
clitoris, probably don’t know what it is. 
much less where and are best de- 
scribed simply as easy come, easy go. 
(Name withheld by requi 
Trenton, New Jersey 


GETTING SATISFACTION 
Im a woman of 28 and I fail to 
understand people like the girl from San 
uncisco who achieved an orgasm by 
selfstimulation after the man who made 
love to her had left her apartment (The 


Playboy Forum, June). I guess this girl 


59 


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thinks therc arc only two wajs of having 
an orgasm, solitary masturbation or sex- 
ual intercourse. But there are many v 
1 never kn 
I was 23, when a man who wanted to 
make Jove to me went about pre 
me with an educated tongue. I | 
him not to stop and had two dimaxes 
before he ever got his penis inside me. 
Since then Гус had orgasms from cun- 
nilingus, from having men stimulate me 
manually, from sexual intercourse and 
with the aid of a vibrator. But my point 
is, why wait till the man leaves and then 
get yourself off all alone? Most men, I've 
found, are willing to do anything that 
turns a woman on, so if you want to be 
helped to come, all you have to do is tell 
the man how you want it. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Washington, D.C. 


HANDY MASTURBATION 
N. Lewis may be right in suggesting 
that for some overly inhibited men mas- 
turbation deflects energies that should go 
into finding a woman to screw with (The 
Playboy Forum, June). But masturbation 
сап also act as а useful technique to im- 
prove lovemaking. One of the most com- 
mon complaints women have about men 
as lovers is that men come too soon, leav- 
ing women high and dry. I've solved that. 
problem for myself by including mastur- 
bation with shaving and showering as 
standard preparation for a date. It always 
kes longer for me to have my second or- 
gasm of the evening and usually that 
extra time is just what my partner needs 
to come to her own climax. Another plus, 
1 find, is that for me the later orgasms 
of the day are more intense than the first. 
(Name withheld by request) 

Battle Creek, Michigan 


KEEPING IT DOWN 

N. Lewis suggests that men can over- 
come their inhibitions in approaching 
women by abstaining from masturbation. 
But why are men inhibited with women 
in the first place? I think it’s because men 
are afraid of their own sexual. (сеї 
When I meet an attractive woi ant 
10 go to bed with her right away. I think 
most men have the same desire, but we're 
prevented from action by inhibitions and 
fears. A pass made too soon, too clumsily 
or 100 vigorously send a woman 
scurrying for cover. It is generally neces 
sary lor me to allow time for my new- 
found friend to learn to know and trust 
me before there is any possibility of sex. 
During that time, sexual pressures mount 
and threaten to mess up the whole rela- 
tionship by provoking a premature move. 
Masturbation can help keep those pr 
sures under control. Abstaining from m: 
iurbation would just intensify а man's 
internal sexual pressures and would there- 
by intensify his fears of female nearness. 
rely have trouble getting it up, but 


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all kinds of grief keeping it down. I 
want to be a gentleman, but my penis 
is a rascal. Masturbation is a necessity, 
indeed, а bless 


Michael Sullivan 

Urbana, Minois 

Inspired by the same problem, Robert 

Graves wrote a poem to his penis titled 

“Down, Wanton, Down!” Here's the first 
verse: 


Down, wanion, down! Have you no 
shame 

That at the whisper of Love's name, 

Or Beauty's, presto! up you raise 

Your angry head and stand at gaze? 


FINAL JUDGMENT 
According to a letter in the June 

Playboy Forum, Kenneth Kauk of the 
Nebraska Association for Chr Ac 
tion believes that venereal discase is God's 
punishment for sexual behavior con 
to His laws. If that's true, I am no longer 
afraid of being judged by God after 
death. Instead. I am going to demand 
that God explain to me how He justifies 
the millions of men. women and children 
killed, crippled, blinded and driven in- 
sane by V. D.—muany of them innocents 
who didn't break anybody's Haws. 

Angel Morales 

San Juan, Puerto Rico 


WORSHIP POWER 

1 found it amusing that the Mississippi 
Driver's Manual, of all things, lumps to- 
gether as the human brair 


tions “thinking, reasoning, judgment, 
self-control, creative nd power to 
worship” (The Playboy Forum, June). 


the surest way to 
short-circuit the other faculties listed. As 
a character in Kurt Vonnegut’s Mother 
Night remarked, "Say what you will 
about the sweet miracle of unquestioning 
ith, I consider a capacity for it terrify- 
ing and absolutely vile; 


G. Masson. 
Paris, 


SPOILSPORT 

We Texans love to boast that cvery- 
thing is bigger and better in the Lone- 
Star State than anyplace else. Sometimes 
we can even prove it. For example. the 
lead article in the May issue of a maga- 
zine for Texas high school coaches dem- 


onstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt 
that the world’s weirdest coaching stand 
ards can be found right here. The arti 


dle, by coach Tony $ 


mpson, says that 
long- 


cd males are sissies and have no 
the county's athletic fields 
r on the mot just an 
ter of Bibli- 
cal. principles,” mpson. For, the 
article continues, according to 1 Corin 
thians 11:14, “Doesn't even common 
sense dictate to you that Jong hair on 
s a disgrace unto him?" Actually, 
no, it doesn't, but then I'm no theologian. 

Simpson says that “A male with long 


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n of rejection of authority” 
and that “Without self-discipline and rc 
spect for authority, you have an uncon 
trollable problem among the youth, with 
drug abuse, crime and sexual perversion: 
and this describes the U.S. in 1973." 
There we have it—long hair is at the root 
of all our problems. How to solve them? 
According to Simpson, “It is . . , time to 
show the American athlete that his most 
valuable characteristic is not physical 
ability but respect for authority.” Gee, I 
always thought it was athletic prowess 
that counted. 

Actually. this Bible thumping coach is 
more profoundly un-American than he 
can possibly realize, his patriotic bab 
bling to the contrary notwithstanding. 
American athletics always worked 
toward the ideal of [rec competition and 
unlimited striving for excellence untaint- 
ed by ideology. For instance, when Jackie 
Robinson started playing major-league 
baseball, American sports were saying to 
the world that а man's ability, not his 
skin color or any other aspect of physical 
appearance, would henceforth determine 
his right to participate. By dragging in 
his half-baked interpretations of the 
Gospel in an attempt to justify irrelevant 
standards based on his own prejudices, 
and by exalting respect for authority over 
coach Simpson reminds me of 
nothing as much as Hitler claiming that 
Aryan athletes are superior or the Rus- 
sians and Chinese using their athletes for 
political propaganda. What a terrible 
example to set for American kids! 

Billy Watson 
Dallas, Texas 

Has Bible-veader Simpson never heard 

of Samson? 


A BIG STEP FOR TEXAS 

Texas, the state that hitherto had the 
harshest marijuana law in the land (two 
years to life), no longer has that distinc- 
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has passed and the governor has signed a 
comprehensive drug-law revision bill tha 
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up to four ounces of marijuana to a mis- 
demeanor, with the first wo ounces с 
ing a maximum penalty of up to six 
months in jail and a fine of 51000. From 
two to four ounces, the penalty would bc 
a maximum of one year in jail and a f 
of $2000. Conviction for possession of 
over four ounces or for sale of marijuana 
would remain a felony, with a potential 
prison term of two to ten ycars and a finc 
of up to $5000. except that at the trial 
judge's discretion, the charge could be re 
duced to a misdemeanor. In addition, the 
new law docs not permit prosecution [or 
possession with intent to distribute, nor 
can subsequent offenses for the posses 
sion of four ounces or less ever be ci 
hanced toa felony category 

Texas state prisons are currently 
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prisoners. With this in mind, Texas leg- 
islators provided that those presently 

arcerated as well as those previously 
convicted may petition the trial court 
for resentencing under provisions of the 
new law. This resentencing provision 
must surmount a state constitutional 
test. Should resentencing [ail to receive 
judicial approval, those who are incar 
cerated could appeal to the governor 
for clemency. 

Texas’ new law, while not decriminal- 
i nevertheless reflects 
a changing attitude toward the mari- 
juana smoker. Some district and county 
attorneys will undoubtedly continue to 
seek harsh penalties for marijuana offend- 
ers, but the new law has a number of 
afeguards derived primarily from 
ve concern and outrage over past 
actions by some Dallas juries and district 
attorneys. The new penalty provisions 
will guard, to some degree, against the 
reefer madness manifested in 100-year 
sentences that Dallas juries have hand- 
ed out in the past. No longer will Dallas 
be able to confiscate and sell at public 
auction the automobiles and motorcycles 


B 
Sheriff Raymond Frank of Austin 
stated that the new law is a “step in the 


right direction" and added, “The mari- 
smoker has no place in the county 
‘This enlightened attitude, 1 hope, 
will be exhibited in the ensi 
by county-court judges, who will h 
90 percent of all future marijuana 
infractions, 

While possessing marijuama remains 
a crime, hundreds of thousands of Texans 
nonetheless take solace in the fact 
that they are no longer unapprehended 
felons. Texas has come a litle closer to 
sanity on the marijuana question. 

Stephen Simon, Director 
Tesas/ NORML 
Austin, Texas 


ju 


months 


TAX-EVADING GRANDMOTHER 

My mother, Martha Tranquilli, а 69 
year-old nurse living in Mound Bayou, 
Mississippi, has been sentenced to nine 
months in a Federal penitentiary for 
sending her income-tax money to six paci- 
fist organizations instead of to the Inter- 
nal Revenue Service. She accomplished 
this by listing the peace groups as d 
pendents on her 1970 and 1971 income 
tax returns, She did it because she felt 
that paying taxes to the Federal Govern- 
ment would morally implicate her in 
the war in Southeast Asia, whereas groups 
such as the War Resisters’ League, the 
American Friends Service Committee 
and the Women's International League 
for Peace and Freedom are “life-giving 
people” who would not use the funds for 
death and destruction. 

Though the jury at her trial found her 
guilty on two counts of willful income-tax 
evasion—a felony—Judge William Keady 


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was loath to send a grandmother to pris. 
on. At her sentencing, he ollered her pro 
bation if she would only say she was sorry 
She respectfully refused to betray her 
principles. Now, apparently because of 
her confrontation with the Government, 
she has been fired from her job at the 
Mound Bayou Community Hospital. 

Rural Mississippi. far from the eyes of 
the liberal metropolitan press, is an ideal 
setting for the first, but probably not the 
last, criminal prosecution of this type that 
the IRS has attempted. It made по at- 
tempt to negotiate a payment, as is its 
custom, and even now my mother doesn't 
know how much she supposedly owes. It 
seems no accident that her tax return re 
ceived special attention; this kind of pro. 
test is reportedly increasing at a rate the 
IRS can only view as seriously alarming. 

he case will be appealed, and both 
funds and other expressions of moral 
support are desperately needed. Mail ай 
dressed to Martha Tranquilli, Mound 
Bayou, Mississippi, will reach her. I'm 
sure it would hearten her to know that 
what she has done. 
William Tranquilli 
Saciamento, California 


others see hope 


WRITING TO PRISONERS 

The Fortune Society has established a 
correspondence program that matches 
men and women in prison with con- 
ed persons on the outside. We cur 
"ly have 400 prisoners writing to 
ng list of 200 
о correspond with some- 
"Those who wish to exchange ler 
ters with prisoners should write to us at 
29 East 22nd Street, New York, New 
York 10010. Communica n between 
people on both sides of the bars is but 
опе small step in breaking down the 
barriers that exist 

David Rothenberg, Exccutive Director 

"Ehe Fortune Society 

New York, New York 


cer 


ans, hut we have a w 


tes wanti 


KENT STATE AND WATERGATE 

At long last, there arc heartening indi 
cations that the scandal that has ripped 
apart the Nixon Administration will 
focus public attention on the Justice De- 
partments handling of the Kent State 
case. For two years, I have sought to 
expose the fact that former Attorney Gen- 
eral John Mitchell's decision not to con- 
vene a Federal grand jury was based on 
political considerations, His indictment 
in New York for perjury and conspiracy 
to obstruct justice suggests that my belief 
is not as ridiculous as many claimed. It is 
no surprise now, that on the day Mitchell 
was indicted, Deputy Assistant Attorney 
General William O'Connor admitted to 
four Kent State students that the Justice 
Department has had sufficient evidence 
to seek indictments against one to six 
Ohio Guardsmen for violating the civil 
rights of the Kent State victims. Such 


Simple Arithmetic. 


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PLAYBOY 


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withholding of criminal evidence is bx 
neath contempt. 

Hopefully, my forthcoming book, The 
Truth About Kent State, will help launch 
the kind of investigation that the Nixon 
Administration has stubbornly refused to 
ме. On May 4, 1972, Т wrote in an 
editorial for the Daily Kent Stater, “Our 
laws and judiciary are the backbone of 
this free society. Break it for the sake of 
political expediency and institutional 
imagery and our society will be as crip 
pled as young Dean Kahler is for the rest 
of his life.” Dean was standing at a point 
300 feet away from the Guardsmen when 
they started shooting. He threw himself 


wa 


face down on the ground. As he lay there 
an M-I bullet slammed into him and 
paralyzed him from the waist down, Be 
yond him, three of those killed lay dying 
two of them young women. Th 
wounds have vet to be healed by justice 
Peter Davies 
Staten Island, New York 
{tlorney General Elliot L. Richardson, 
appointed as а result of the Walei 
gale scandal, has announced that the Jus 
tice Department will take “a fresh look” 
at the May 1970 killings. Watergate has 
led to the revelation that in 1970 the 
White House was preparing a domestic 
surveillance plan that included spying on 
student dissenters. This would ѕсет to 
confirm that the Administration was in- 
capable at that time of an objective atti 
tude toward the Kent State shootings 


se awful 


WATERBLIGHT 

In trying to figure out what caused the 
Watergate scandal, we might remember 
that the Administrations of Presidents 
Eisenhower, Kennedy and Johnson en- 
dorsed the usc of illegal, clandestine cf- 
forts to influence the internal politics of 
many foreign countries, such as Guatema 
la, Cuba and South Vietnam. There was 
little protest in this country, even though 


these activities were well known and are 
completely contrary to the ideals of an 
open, democratic society. Now we sce 
what happens to a country that does not 
live up to its ideals: It becomes ill with 
the very disease it has been spreading in 
other lands. 

David Hughes 

Phoenix, Arizona 


After noting President Nixon's latest 
efforts to wriggle olf the W te hook. 
1 feel national security has replaced patri 
otism as the last refuge of a scoundrel 
"Tom Morrissey 
San Francisco, California 


The Playboy Forum" offers the 
opportunity for an extended dialog be 
несеп readers and editors of this pub 
licalion on subjects and issues related 10 
“The Playboy Philosophy" Address all 
correspondence to The Playboy Forum 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michi 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611 


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PLAYBOY 


72 


With what you've been hearing about smoking these days, you probably 
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discussion PLAYBOY PANEL: 


NEW SEXUAL LIFE STYLES 


a symposium on emerging behavior patterns, from open marriage to group sex 


PANELISTS 


president of 
tt of the Mat- 
achine Society, a homophile civil-rights 
nization. She was a delegate to the 

Democ 1 Convention. 
ssioned plea 
(with 


ish) from the Unive 
lo. where she also ома 


solo folk singer 
go Lunche 
rock band in such coflechouses and night 
dubs as The Bitter End and The Gaslight 
in New York City and the Limelight Gal- 
Buffalo. She was married hetero- 
ally for a year and a half before 
coming out into Lesbianism, a life style 
she has followed for the past ten years. 
r contributions to the gay movement 
included many original songs, a onc- 

berella (a takesoff on Cinder- 
ns off with 


LOVELACE: If you don't have an orgasm 
y, you become very nervous, very up- 
light. 1 do, anyway. 1 think there would 
be a lot fewer problems in the world ij 
cucrybody enjoyed. themsclucs sexually. 


cotvsreix: H my wife cheated, I'd kill her. 
She's part of my property. I mean, 1 am 
а sexist. And since I pay the bills, 1 feel 
1 own her, the way 1 own my cnr, and 1 
don't lend my car out to people. 


the fairy godmother), and numerous talks 
before church and Р. T. A. groups, the 
Lions and Elks clubs and college students. 
She currently lives in Buffalo with her 
Lesbian lover ol two years and works full 
time as a librari 
BETTY DODSON, 14. is known for her efforts 
“to liberate women" through her work in 
the feminist mov id ^to liberate 
society” through her explicitly eroti 
Ms. Dodson's celebration of the 
crosexual and homosexual lov 
which depicts behavior ranging from 
orgies to masturbation, has been dis- 
played in one-woman shows at such New 
York City galleries as the Wie n. In 
June of this year, a retrospective of her 
work was presented at the Кго 
International Museum of Erotic Art in 
isco. An ardent sexual libe 
she served as a judge а 
ual Wet Dream m Festival 
m), Ms. Dodson is currently 
g а “body and sex workshop" 


ausens’ 


the 


POMEROY: A stable marriage can tolerate 
n great deal of outside sex—in a limited 
way, seen ах insertion. of a penis into а 
vagina. But with emotional involvement, 
a stable marriage can get into trouble. 


popson: Everybody's first orgy is mind. 
boggling. 1 remember mine. Half of me 
was thrilled, half terrified. 1 didn't know 
the social rules. What should I wear? 
How should I get out of what 1 wear? 


their 


for women th 
sexual consciot 
AL GOLDSTEIN, 37. is the cofounder a 
repressible editor of Screw, the nat 
best-selli 
Since its unique blend of raunch and 
humor first appeared on November 4, 
Goldstein reminds us, that 
President Nixon was first elected—cireu- 
lation stcadily grown to 122,000 
copies a week. The rise has been accom- 
panied by ina from law- 
enforcement and Goldstein has 
made many court appea nd 
what he calls "Ihe Worlds Greatest 
0 “ against a wide variety of ob 
scenity charges. An erstwhile news pho- 
her who once spent four days i 

ana jail falsely char 
spying for the GIA, Goldstein is 
currently v "the King of the Phil 
istines” in Serew’s first film production, 
а hard-core epic titled It Happened in 


t she hopes will 


perry: Z believe Гос always been gay. 
At the early age of five, when I used to 
go 10 the movies in Tallahassee, Tarzan 
Turned me on. I used to fantasize, wishing 
he'd throw me around. 


: The dangers of bisexual- 
ity are comparable 10 those of LSD. For 
some people it's harmless, as far as we 
know. Ju others it has precipitated. а 
breakdown requiring instilulionalizalion. 


73 


PLAYBOY 


74 


he lectures on the new sexuality at New 
York University. 

PHYLLIS KRONHAUSEN, 44, and EBERHARD 
KRONHAUSEN, 58, met and married 19 
years ago, when they were both working 
toward their Ph.Ds in psychology at Co- 
lumbia University. Since then, 
combined the private pi 
therapy and group guidance with unflag- 
ging public advocacy of sexual freedom 
in a wide variety of media. Their film 
credits include two feature-length docu- 
mentaries that focus graphically on sex- 
wal behavior in Europe—Freedom to 
Love and Why Are They Doing 11?—as 
well as a montage of vintage stag films 
titled Pornopop. The Kronhausens have 
also coauthored Pornography and the 
Law, The Sexually Responsive Woman, 
Erotic Fantasies, Erotic Bookplates and 
Erotic Art—the last an impressive two- 
xolume compendium inspired by their ex- 
tensive personal collection. They are the 
founders of the nonprofit International 
Museum of Erotic Art in San Francisco, 
which displays 1500 specific depictions of 
various sexual activities in drawings. 
graphics, painting, sculpture and objects 
ranging from Oriental and Indian erotica 
10 contemporary underground cartoons. 
While Phyllis, author of Sex Histories of 
American College Men, was spending а 
month visiting Red China last spring as 
a member of an all-woman delegation 
headed by actress Shirley MacLaine, 
Eberhard was at work in their Malibu, 


California, polishing their 
latest collaborative eflort—Sex for Fun 
and Profit. 

LINDA LOVELACE, has pa 
virtuoso performance in the controve 
hard-core film Deep Throat into ne: 
universal recognition as one of the pop 
superstars of the Seventies. The very 
mention of her name at cocktail parties 
or on ТУ talk shows invariably precipi- 
tates either a spate of swordswallowing 
jokes or a chorus of opprobrium. Scr 
magazine has called her “Ameri 
vorire mouth." Her manager calls Linda 
“the girl next door," to which one colum- 
nist added: “IE you happen to live next 
door to a massage parlor.” Since bridging 
the gap from stag films to full-length 
hard-core features, Miss Lovelace has 
шеп a provocatively titled autobiogra- 
phy, Inside Linda Lovelace. Drawing 
upon her extensive personal experience, 
she recently became a monthly columnist 
for Oui magazine, dispensing advice on 
al matters from analingus to zoo- 
philia. Later this year or early next—de- 
pending on the consequences of the new 
obscenity rulings of the Supreme Court— 
audiences may again witness Linda’s abili- 
ties, in Deep Throat IL, a sequel to her 
remarkable feature-film debut. 

JOHN MONEY, M.D., 52, is a professor of 
medical psychology and associate profes. 
sor of pediatrics at Johns Hopkins Uni- 
versity in Baltimore, where he is in charge 
of the human-sexuality course for fresh- 


man medical students. Born in New Zea- 
land, Dr. Money once lived with the 
Yolgnu peoples of Australia to study their 
mating and breeding habits, He has since 
dealt extensively with cases of hermaphro- 
ditism and was instrumental in founding 
the Office of Psychohormonal Research 
at Johns Hopkins, which has pioneered 
in cases of transsexual reassignment— 
whereby individuals are able to change. 
their scx to conform to a new gender 
identity. The results of this extremely. 
successful program are related in Man ё 
Woman, Boy & Girl, a scholarly work co- 
authored by Dr. Money, who previously 
wrote Sex Errors of the Body. In a non- 
academic role, he testified last year for the. 
defense in New York's celebrated obscen- 
ity prosecution of the film Deep Throat. 
TROY PERRY, 33, is the founder and pastor 
of Los Angeles’ Metropolitan Communi- 
ty Church —whose congregation is entire 
ly homosexual—as well as an extremely 
vocal spokesman for gay rights. A report- 
er once described the Reverend Perry as 
the Martin Luther King of the gay move- 
ment, to which he replied, “I don't know 
if I'd go that far. Just call me the M 
Luther Queen.” Between picketing, pa- 
rading, guest-preaching commitments and 
speeches at college campuses from coast 
to coast, he is chairman of The Committee 
on Sexual Law Reform and director of the 
Southern California Council on Religion 
and the Homosexual. A Pentecostal 
minister who attended Midwest Bible 


ммк: Once the female gets involved 
in swinging, she often discovers the sex 
is better than what she's been having 
with her own male; better, in fact, than 
she could get from any one male. 


ымом: It's amazing how much all love- 
making—straight and gay—looks and feels 

ike. Most of the claims of something 
special come [rom each group's defending 
ils phobic reaction to the other. 


E. KRONHAUSEN: What you find in group 
sex situations is a kind of anxiety—dif- 
ferent from jealousy—that as а male, 
you'll be literally outfucked by other 
men with a higher potency than yours. 


т. KRONHAUSEN: We have witnessed hus- 
bands and wives or lovers falling happy 
and exhausted into each others arms 
after a gratifying sexual experience with 
someone else. And why nol? 


pavis: The men 1 knew thought my Les- 
bianism was a phase, that ГА get over 
it. Certainly, Га go back to men even- 
tually, because weren't men superior? 
But 1 didn't, because they weren't. 


MONEY: J would like Lo see more varieties 


of life style. We don't need the idea of 
monogamous marriage for life—till death 
do us part, Death used to part us much 
sooner than it does now. 


College in Summit, Illinois, and the 
Moody Bible Institute in Chicago, Mr. 
Perry was heterosexually married and had. 
two children before admitting he was a 
homosexual and getting a divorce—events 
that arc poignantly described in liis auto- 
biography, The Lord Is My Shepherd and 
He Knows Рт Gay. Since founding the 
Metropolitan Community Church in 1968, 
he has helped organize The Crisis Inter- 
vention Center—a telephone service for 
uptight homosexuals—and later started a 
Бау counseling service in conjunction 
with the church, which also offers Sunday 
school for children of homosexuals, 
WARDELL B. POMEROY, 59, is the co-author, 
with Alfred Kinsey, of Sexual Behavior in 
the Human Male and Sexual Behavior in 
the Human Female, the landmark vol- 
umes published by the Kinsey Institute, 
Where he served for 20 years (seven of 
them as its director of ficld research). 
Holder of bachelor's and master's degrees 
from Indiana University and a Ph.D. 
from Columbia University, he has been, 
us times in his career, a clinical 
psychologist at the Indiana Reformatory, 
an instructor in the psychology depart- 
ment at Indiana University and president 
of both the Society for the Scientific 
Study of Sex and the American Associa- 
tion of Marriage and Family Counselors. 
Dr. Pomeroy presently serves as vice 
president of the Sex Information and 
Education Council of the United States, 
diplomate of the American Board of Ex. 
aminers in Professional (Clinical) Psy- 
chology and a fellow of the American 
Psychological Association. On his own, 
he has authored Boys and Sex, Girls and 
Sex and, his latest book, Dr. Kinsey and 
the Institute for Sex Research. Married 
for 37 years, he is on the staff at Manhat- 
an’s Lenox Hill Hospital and Cornell's 
Payne Whitney Clinic and, since 1963, 
has been in the private practice of mar- 
riage counseling and psychotherapy— 
g with, among other problen 
specific sexual dysfunctions such as 
impotence and premature ejaculation, as 
well as homosexuality, transsexuality and 
transvestism. 
ROBERT H. RIMMER, 56, has successfully 
combined the best of two worlds: com- 
merce and literature. By day, he is the 
president of a 60-year-old family printing 
business located near Boston harbor. By 
night, he moonlights as a novelist in his 
Quincy, Massachusetts, study, exploring 
utopian alternatives to the nuclear fami 
ly. His most popular fictional work, The 
Harrad Experiment, deals with a struc- 
tured premarital life style pairing college 
roommates of opposite sexes. Selling 
more than 5,000,000 copies in all editions, 
Натай has inspired a motion picture of 
the same title and a sequel volume, The 
Harrad Letters. А graduate of Bates Col- 
lege with a master’s degree in business 
administration from Harvard, the prolific 
Rimmer has also written Proposition 31 
(about group marriage), The Rebellion 


of Yale Маттай (bigamy), Thursday, Му 
Love (open marriage), The Zolotou Af- 
fair (sexual economics), That Girl from 
Boston (a comic novel), You and I... 
Searching for Tomorrow (another collec- 
tion of letters) and, most recently, he has 
edited Adventures in Loving, a group of 
essays written by people living in alter- 
nate life styles, 
WILLIAM SIMON, 43, holds a Ph.D. degree 
from the University of Chicago and for 
three years was a member of the Institute 
for Sex Research at Indiana University. 
Much in demand as an interpreter of the 
sexual fronticr at universities and medi 
cal schools, as well as on the more erudite 
TV talk shows, Dr. Simon is currently 
program supervisor of sociology and an- 
thropology at the Institute for Juvenile 
rch in Chicago, workin а 0.5, 
Health Service-sponsored project 
focusing on youth and youth cultures. Dr. 
Simon, who participated in the Playboy 
Panel on homosexuality (April 1971), is 
the co-editor of The Sexual Scene and 
Sexual Deviance and the co-author (with 
John Gagnon) of Sexual Conduct: The 
Sources o] Human Sexuality—which con- 
ys one scholar, “the most ori; 
thinking on sex since Freud,” 
ERNEST VAN DEN HAAG, 59, is a professor 
of social philosophy at New York Uni- 
versity (where he earned his Ph.D), a 
lecturer in sociology and psychology at 
the New School for Social Research and a 
practicing psychoanalyst. He has testified 
in nearly a dozen pornography trials. the 
most recent being New York's Deep 
Throat case, in which he spoke for the 
prosecution: and he has written ex 
sively in Harper's, Atlantic and Com- 
mentary on sex education and political 
philosophy, Dr. van den Haag, who has 
lectured at the University of Califor 
at Berkeley, Columbia, Yale, Harvard, 
а sei fel- 
low of the National Endowment for the 
ities. His books include The 
Fabric of Society, Education as an In- 
dustry, Passion and Social Constraint, 
The Jewish Mystique and the recently 
published Political Violence and Civil 
Disobedience. 


PLAYBOY: In the 25 years since the publi- 
cation of the first Kinsey report—and 
perhaps in part because of it—sex 
come not merely respectable but almost 
unavoidable as a topic of conversation, 
magazine articles, howto books, X-rated 
films, encounter therapy, even high 
school "visual aids" And subsequent 
surveys indicate that Americans aren't 
simply talking more about it; they're 
practicing what's being preached in 
ever-increasing numbers, despite rear- 
Р being waged by 
the thinning forces of sexual conse 
tism. According to reports in the media, 
these new patterns of behavior are form- 
ing into genuine life styles: suburban 
swinging, group and open marriage, com- 
munal living. self proclaimed bisexuality 


inal 


and homosexuality, We've assembled a 
panel of participants in and observers of 
the sexual revolution in order to find out 
more about the nature and extent of 
these new lile styles—if that’s what they 
really are. Are they as widespread as we've 
been led to believe, or have they been 
exaggerated by the press? 
GOLDSTEIN: I think what we have is а 
media hype and a reflection of reality. It's 
certainly wue diat the ballyhoo about 
experimentation is much greater 
than it used to be. But it's also true that 
after 2000 years of Diblical'antisex propa- 
gandizing, people are getting sick of 
being told what to do. That means we 
have greater room for individuality, so 
cial and sexual. They go hand in hand— 
or should I say groin in groin? 
Е. KRONHAUSEN: I don't see how the idea 
that this is a media creation could even 
occur to anybody. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: As a matter of fact, some 
of the reports in the media are Шу 
itiscx. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Very true. Now, there's 
no doubt that the fringe expressions of. 
this movement are sometimes bizarre, but 
it's а very broad movement, and it must 
be taken seriously. Many of the reasons 
for it have nothing to do with sex as 
such. They have to do with changes in 
our whole life styles—not only the in- 
dividualism AI 


mentions but greater 
mobility, the fact thar people now 
concentrated more in large urban cen- 


ters than on small farms and that they're 
ving in small apartments rather than in 
large houses, the decline of religious and 
other social institutions that used to hold 
family units together, the widespread dis- 
appoinument with what we may broadly 
call “the establishment"—all that enters 
into it, 
POMEROY: I believe the increase in uncon. 
ventional sexual behavior is genuine, not 
merely overreported—but it's less, per- 
centagewise, than people think. What's 
ificant is the increase in openness 
about it—people admitting they pursue 
behavior that was thought of as deviant. 
PERRY: The most important development is 
that people are coming out of the closet. 
Joan Baez admission of youthful homo- 
sexual relationships is а perfect example. 
DAVIS: Baez might have made a feeble cf- 
fort to come out, but it never really 
pened. She probably scared herself with 
the admission of an early Lesbian rela- 
tionship—and then copped out. 
SIMON: And, unfortunately, Troy, Joan 
Baez is anything but the girl next door. 
d, that she were. But she is not. We 
have to be careful that we don't establish. 
the sexual revolution as a social fact 
before it becomes a social reality. Let's 
remember that many of us here today 
are, in one sense or another, “sexual 
professionals,” and as such we may help 
generate the open sex talk that we then 
proceed to observe. The latest data out 
of the computers indicate that a few more 


75 


PLAYBOY 


76 


females are moving into premarital 
sex—but not as many as most people 
think. At the same time, there may actu 
ally be more latetcenaped. male virgins 
than there used to be. Hell. despite the 
noise, about half the kids haven't even 
started mutual gropery by 16, Undoubt- 
edly, some frontiers of sexual experimen: 
tation have expanded, but that doesn’t 
mean conventional nervousness about 
ight, gay or what have vou—has 
disappeared. Along with the old nervous. 
cing Sexual, we may be creat- 
ing a new nervousness about not being 
sexual enough—making IT- or 18-year 
olds feel that they're freaky because they 
haven't done it yet. 

VAN DEN HAAG: Exactly. The fact that it's 
become not only respectable to be sensual 
but almost necessary is typical of the way 


we ove in America. Now it's 
prestigious to say “I enjoy sex.” If you 
were to say “I don't really care.” people 
would wonder what's wrong with you— 


and suggest you visit a psychiatrist. Yer I 
think a free and healthy person should 
be able to take sex or leave it, depend- 
ing on what he feels. 1 happen to prefer 
sex to no scx, personally; but I was in 
prison for about three years when I lived 
in Haly, because 1 didn't get along with 
Mussolini. He did not, while | was in 
prison, provide for the gratification of 
my sexual desires. certainly didn't 
please me, but it didn't do me any harm— 
nd Pm still making up for it. 

DAVIS: You know, there's been a type of 
split mythology about Lesbians’ sexuality 
One version, usually found in pornog- 
raphy written by men, portrays Lesbia 
5 totally sexual animals out for nothing 
but sexual satisfaction, which is untrue. 
The other version is that Lesbians are 
just lovely friends who hold hands and 
run through fields of daisies, and there’ 
ho scx. Like a Salem cigarette commer 
cial. And that’s just as untrue. We enjoy 
sex and friendship. Bur, like Dr. van den 
Haag, 1 believe sex is important in a per- 
son's Ше when its readily available. 
When ivs not available, it seems to me 
somewhat less important. I would feel 
much more deprived if 1 didn't have an 
emotional relationship than if I didn’t 
have a sexual one. I prefer sex in my life, 
too, but 1 wouldn't die without it. 
LOVELACE: I can't get along without sex at 
all. If you take away sex, and you don't 
have an orgasm daily, you become very 
nervous, very uptight. I do, anyway. 1 
think there would be а lot fewer prob- 
lems in the world if everybody enjoycd 
themselves sexually every day. And more 
and more people are. 

DODSON: One of the differences between 
our society today and that of 20 years ago 
is not simply that people are getting more 
sex but that there are à greater number of 
alternativ l life styles av; 
the Fifties, if a girl didn't get man 
was going to be a frustrated old maid. 
There was great pressure on her, She had 


no choice. Today, in the Seventies, some 
women are saying they're not interested 
in marriage. There are other options 
now; they're going to live some other 
way. We have millions of young people 
living together openly without n 
and sa 
ways thei 
of. Society has come to take it for granted. 
MONEY: Living together without marriage 
is not only onc of the most popular new 
ile styles. it's also one of the oldest. 
It's essentially substituting betrothal for 
marriage. In. pre-I8th Century Sweden, 
young couples used to be formally be- 
trothed. But they didnt need to get legal- 
ly married until the girl got pregnant. 
GOLDSTEIN: People used to live together in 
the Village, on the Left Bank, in the ghet- 
tos. Now п Levittown. 
But not to the majority. Most of my 
gle male friends still spend their days 
looking to get laid, and the women I 
know are still looking to get married. It 
was the same 10, 20, 50 years ago. I don't 
see any major change 

POMEROY: The principal change is that it's 
more accepted now. After all. living to- 
gether has some advantages over getting 
married. If one partner doesn't demon. 
strate concern, the other сап get up and 
leave at any time, so they have to remain 
in more of a state of courtship. I've sce 
some so-called common-law marriages 
d out better than legal mar 


riages for dl А 
RIMMER: One of the t 
fascinates me is the extent to which pre 


psolutely 


1 cohabitation is being studied 
the colleges. There's even а cohabita 
research newsletter. And they've 
plenty to study. Last year 
sity of Michigan, a student 
Xanadu set up a. patt 
members of the oppo 


had 
the Univ 


oup called 
a of living with 
. Roommates 


e 


were selected by pulling names out of a 
hat. 


a: it lets you have the learn- 
ing experience of being thr 
another human being. You 1 
man ora woman as a whole person. 

VAN DEN HAAG: That is an argument 
against individual selection. It persuades 
me to return to ped n 
which have the advantages men: 
Mr, Rimmer, and then some. 
PLAYBOY: How about traditional 
riage? Is it breaking down? 
POMEROY: ЇЇ you mean by traditional mar- 
riage a dyadic relationship between 
с legally 


mar- 


and a woman who 
then no, 1 don't think 
There's more of it th 
here to stay. 
1 ma 


tied, 
's breaking down, 


ever, and it's 
If you're thinking of tr: 
age male-dominated, 
chiauvinistic institution, then yes, I think 
it’s breaking down. 

LOVELACE: I believe traditional marriages 
and traditional courtships, аге rapidly be- 
coming things of the past, because of pre- 
marital sex. By that I mean sex for a year 


ditior 


or two before marriage, and Т think as 
that increases, courtship decreases. But I 
believe premarital scx is making stronger 
marriages, even if they're not traditional 
ones. 

PERRY: People arc changing. Women are 
looking around and saying, “Wait just a 
ші [his business of my having to 
abide by rules and regulations while the 
husband is a free moral agent is bullshit. 
What's good for the gander is good for 
the goose. You will treat me as an equal. 
аз а human being, as а helpmate—not 
just as something to be used in the bed- 
room at your convenience." 

RIMMER: That's why marriages are under 
stress and splitting up. Divorce is ramp- 
nt, But that doesn’t say we're not re- 
marrying. As a matter of fact, we've 
become a great marrying society. 
POMEROY: My contention is that the high 
divorce rate proves how much better mar- 
ges arc. Now that people are freer to 
get divorced, the ones who stay married 


don't lave 10; they stay married because 
they're happy 
DODSON: | would never get married 


again. HS a stupid and crippling life 
style, 


pecially for women. Unfortunate- 


children and. 
ncially ee and 1 don’t think 
t's much protection: she often ends up 
all the responsibility—indu 
ncial. Marriage is esse license 
to fuck, but the institut riage is 
really based upon sexual repression, and 
the hook is romantic love 
PERRY; Well, many need and want mar- 
riage for reasons other than io legalize in 
tercourse or to have children, which is the 
other big reason you hear about. For 
years, gay couples have been denied the 
right to any sort of ceremony. 1 find, 
more and more in our community, large 
numbers of couples who have been to- 
gether for long periods of time and want 
to formalize the relationship. We do this 
through services of holy union in our 
church. 

DAVIS: I don't think the fact that two. 
people love each other needs to be for 
malized, Ве married 
blessed by the power structure. by the 
establishment, and 1 don’t want that. I 
don't want this fucked-up society to say 
my relationship is OK. I'd feel really 
weird, probably, if they said to me, “OK, 
within the framework of our beliefs, we 
will allow you to love cach other." 1 don't 
need ц 
GOLDSTEIN: Well, I'm an expert on mar 
age. I'm on my third one now. At one 
point, as a matter of fact, I was married to 
more than one woman at the same time 
My second wife was an airline stewardess. 
nd E couldn't fly discount unless 1 could 
produce a marriage certificate. So we 
were married before my divorce from my 
first wife, a Jewish princess, was final. 1 
would justify my bigamous marriage on a 
very pragmatic level: It saved me а lot of 


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PLAYBOY 


78 


money. The third time around, in my 
most recent marriage, I found another 
Jewish princess. Anyway, Гус been re- 
evaluating the institution of marriage in 
terms of my other experiences—orgics, 
uninvolved sex, and so on. And I've de- 
led I really like the values marriage of- 
fers. I like coming home to somebody 
who loves me. When we entwine during 
the night, I'm not one of 19 studs who 
have passed between her thighs in the last 
four days. When it’s bad, I hate marriage, 
but when it’s good, it’s magnificent. 
SIMON: I'm truly glad you said that, Al. 
We often forget that people can't change 
as fast as styles and fashions change. Or, 
for that matter, even values. We are all 
historic entities, trapped by our own 
pasts. 

LOVELACE: Well, I think it's ridiculous, Al, 
to say that when marriage is going well 
it's great, and when it’s going bad you 
hate it. If you were really into marriage, 
t would be a magnificent state, however 
it was going. 

PLAYBOY: Docsn't the increasing inc 
dence—or at least acceptance—of marital 
infidelity today indicate that the tradi 
tional arrangement isn’t working as well 
as it used to? 

VAN DEN HAAG: That may be true, but I 
don't know that we really have any e 
dence of increasing infidelity. It might 
be, as you suggest, that the attitude 
toward it has changed, that people are 
somewhat more permissive in respect to 
adultery than they used to be. 

RIMMER: That is definitely true. A license 
to have outside sex almost goes along 
with the license in many marriages today. 
MONEY: Consensual adultery is а marvel- 
ous invention for some people. But others 
are absolutely unequipped emotionally 
to cope with it; they'll be lucky if they сап 
cope with cven the suggestion of it in 
their children or grandchildren. Still, 
many have discovered that consensual 
dultery doesn’t have to jeopardize the 
family unit at all 

VAN DEN HAAG: II this means no more 
than simply saying that occasional infidel- 
ity doesn't necessarily ruin a marriage, 
that’s no more than common sense, and 
І would certainly agree, A marriage in 
which one of the partners has been oc- 
casionally unfaithful is nonetheless a 
marriage. But if а couple systematically 
permits or encourages either partner to 
be unfaithful, then it means that they are 
not fully committed to each other—are 
not really married, even though they pre- 
tend to be and, perhaps, want to be. The 
man or woman who finds it necessary to 
have regular affairs outside marriage ob- 
viously is not fulfilled in the marriage— 
either because his partner is not ideal or 
because he finds himself incapable of 
being sufficiently fulfilled by that person 
or, for that matter, by a series of persons, 
or perhaps by anyone. Perhaps he—or 
she—is incapable of the commitment 
that, by definition, marriage must be. 


PLAYBOY: Do 
VAN DEN HAAG: Anyone who 
ys helps a marriage is wrong; but 
anyone who says it’s always bad for that 
arriage is equally wrong. Often, how- 
ever, the affair indicates that something 
is amiss—although it neither cures it 
nor causes it. 

Pomeroy: I would say that in about five 
percent of marriages, extramarital intei 
course can be helpful—a positive factor. 
1 think in maybe half the marriages. the 
spouse doesn’t know about the extramari- 
tal intercourse, and in most of these cases 
it's a neutral factor. In nearly half the re- 
maining marriages, it can be a very de- 
structive thing, because of our culture, 
all sorts of jealousies and feelings of 
possessiveness. 

Е. KRONHAUSEN: You may be right, statisti- 
cally speaking. But we wouldn't want to 
leave it there and just accept the status 
quo; I'm sure you'd agree with that, Phyl 
and I arc interested in promoting social 
change—in turning the statistics around 
instead of just quoting them, We believe 
outside relationships frequently help ses 
ually troubled marriages simply because 
of what is called the transfer effect. Once 
you're excited from the group situation 
or from an individual affair, that new 
sexual attraction very often transfers into 
the marriage relationship. But even if ii 
doesn't, let's accept it as OK. It doesn't 
mean you love the person you live with— 
your primary partner—any less. 
GOLDSTEIN: Well, if my wife cheated, I'd 
kill her. If 7 cheat, of course, it's cool— 
although if she catches me. she'll do what 
every Jewish princess docs: cut my balls 
off. 1 believe she's part of my propert 
mean, I am a sexist. And since I pay the 
ills, I feel I cwn her, the way 1 own my 
. and | don't lend my car out to 
people. We've come to our agreements 
willingly, so I think I'm entitled to this 
fair; 1 


nd she can't. I. mean, 
riage. It's so bourg. 
amazes me. I keep telling myself I'm part 
of a sex revolution and yet my wife and I 
zht about whether I should wear а wed- 
g band or not. 

DAVIS: I wish I had a knife long enough to 
cut those balls off for her. There are so 
many men who feel that way, it's disgust- 
ing. I feel very badly for your wife, Al. I 
have a lot more empathy with her than 1 
do with you; she'sa woman. I'd like to sit 
around and have some long talks with 
her. I guess I'd like to take her into my 
life for а litle while and show her how 
nice it can be to be an equal person in an 
equal relationship. I don't care if you do. 
pay her bills; you're sitting on her head. 
рорѕом: True. But Al, you're so honest 
about being a sexist pig that you're actu- 
ally a magnificent walking, talking adver- 
tisement for women's liberation. Keep up 
the good work! 

PERRY: Al, are you really sure that you're 
the editor of Screw? I've read your paper 


and I find it hard to believe you're the 
same person. You sound like the preacher 
who says “Do as I say” but doesn't prac 
tice what he preaches. No wonder so 
many women, both heterosexual and ho- 
mosexual, are being turned off by the 
idea of even talking to a man. Maybe you 
should drop your wife and uy having 
loving ionship with some of your 
other property, like your sofa, 

GOLDSTEIN: I've never met a sofa I 
didn’t like, 

RIMMER: My God, Al, you amaze me, too. 
In the bibliography of one of my books— 
You and 1 . . . Searching for Tomorrow— 
I urged the readers to subscribe to Screw, 
because it seemed to offer the potential 
for a Chaucerian-Rabelaisian kind of hu- 
mor that is completely missing 
culture. Now I wonder if I'm wrong 
haps they'll preserve your bones, like 
Norman Mailer's, in some museum along 
with the dinosaurs’ and pterodactyls'—so 
that mothers of the future can wa 
children: Thus perished male chauvinist 
pigs! 

E. KRONHAUSEN: I don't see, Al, how you 
can sit there and say such things—that 
you feel your wife is your property, like 
your car. T feel embarrassed for you. How 
can you kid yourself that you're part of 
the sexual revolution with attitudes like 
that? Moreover, as a psychologist, I'd have 
to warn you that anyone leading that 
kind of schizoid existence, beli 
thing and living another, is tea 
ice from a mentaLhealth point 


men 
ing—if you mean it—is that you 
pay for your sex, even that which you get 
in the m bed. And you get your 
fidelity on the same basis that you get 
your sex—for cash and other services 
rendere 
GOLDSTEIN: That's absolutely true. Ever 
thing has its pr Let's not bullshit our- 
selves that marriage, one-night stands, 
orgies or anything else don’t have their 
price. I just want my wives to know the 
terms of the sale before they sign the 
contract. 
VAN DEN HAAG: Traditionally, it's much 
more dificult for a man to countenance 
an unfaithful wife than vice versa. In the 
past, female infidelity could—and was 
ikely to—lead to pregnancy, and hus 
bands wanted to know whose children 
they were bringing up. But there may 
also be something in the nature of men 
that makes it harder for them to be com- 
mitted to one woman than it is for а 
woman to be committed to one man. 
That's an open question. It doesn’t fol 
low from the fact that you desire equality 
that God made an equal world. God 
wasn't egalitarian to begin with. For all 
we know, He wasn't even à Democrat. 

рорѕом: It's no news if somebody wants 


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PLAYBOY 


80 


to embrace the double standard. Мом 
men operate that way. I just can't sce any 
sexual health to it. АШ T see is that it 
creates bad vibi nd it really sepa- 
rates а man and a woman. That "some 
thing” in the nature of man that makes it 
harder for him to be committed to a 
woman is simply being sexual. If women 
were more sexual and financially inde- 
pendent, it would be just as difficult for 
us to be committed to one man. But I 
don't think women should impose a re- 
verse double standard, either. 1 feel just 
as strongly about women who want to 
fuck around with guys outside their mar 
ital t their husbands 


stut being honest about our sexuality. 
Th ages 1 sce that are expanding 
or at least breathing—are the ones in 
which both the woman and the man are 


ining the pa 
bond unit. Together but separat 
‘open-ended marriage. 

PERRY: Open marriage is typical of most 
gay couples—always has been. The het- 
crosexuals are finally waking up to it. In 
n open marriage, you know that some 
sex act with some other person at some 
other time or place isn't going to destroy 
your relationship. And you don't have to 
lie about it or feel guilty about it. When 
you lie, your partner becomes jealous, up- 
set, Such a relationship is destroyed if the 
partners сат talk it out, communicate. 
DAVIS: Open marriage hasn't been as 
prevalent in Lesbian relationships as in 
y ones. Lesbian relationships 
vays tended to be much more 
monogamous. Women are conditioned to 
be monogamous and men are conditioned 
to sow their wild oats. We're not born 
that way, but we're trained that way. 


SIMON: The most successful gay mar 
riages—among males, anyway—are be- 


tween two ind 


s with independent 
identities and independent commitments 
to the world. Such a marriage 15 not only 
open, it's also more voluntary than most 
straight marriages. In a sexist society, 
when a marriage dissolves, the wo 
who has been trapped into running the 
household has to face a devastating crisis. 
She has to become something the world 
r from 


So it's under 
sex, if it is seen 


ve, leaving the othe 
the cold outside. 

PLAYBOY: Degenerate? 
SIMON: Sure. Most of us have problems of 
handling lust. We must justify it. particu- 
ly to ourselves. We have to endow the 


rer on 


person who turns us on with all kinds of 
magnificent atu а beautiful. body 
is transformed into à beautiful person 


by an act of will. Selling our own mo- 


tives to ourselves, we inven. lovi 
people fall into Jove not headfir 
genitals first. 

GOLDSTEIN: With or without emoti 
volvement, I'm sure most married people 
volved with some kind of outside 
sex. What's incredible is that so many 
married people aren't fucking cach other 
anymore. My wife and I know one guy 
who's been married 93 years; he ge 
I the time and isn't interested in 
fucking. so his wife is horny, But he's Ital 
ian, and if he caught his wife fucking 
around, he'd kill her. So she's not getting 
laid. And there's this newlywed friend of 
mine. Before he got married, he said sex 
with his girlfricnd was wild. Now that 
he's married, he has bardon problems. 1 
think it's his way of telling his wife, “OK, 
you've trapped me; now fuck you. You're 
not going to get my cooperation. ГЇЇ give 
you p cock. 

LOVELACE: I think your friend, like many 
people, has mistaken a sexual feeling for 
love. I believe people are turned on when 
they're single by the idea that someone 
might catch them—find out they're ball- 
ing. They believe this arousal is love, so 
they get married—and there goes the ex- 
citement of being caught, and the good 
hard-ons. It's at this point that people 
sume they re out of love. 

GOLDSTEIN: Well, I'm lucky. My wile is 
really the greatest hump I've ever had. 
But I still like variet 
RIMMER: I feel that marriage hus to be 
opened up, but in order to do it, we've 
got to start back a little bit—stare with 
the initial conditioning of people. If you 
come out of a monogamous family and 
go through your typical college experi- 
ence—whether you're living with some- 
one or you finally go into 
a monogamous marriage, at some point 
you're acting out the whole structure of 
what's happened in the past. That's why 
T think in the future we'll structure pre- 
marital situations, probably at the college 
undergraduate level, in which students 
will have a good opportunity to live inti 
mately with more than one member of 
the opposite sex. Without commitment, as 
part of the accepted structure, It's che 
idea, of course, expressed in my novel 
The Натай Experiment. 

When I go to lecture at colleges now, 
some people tell me that coed dormitories 
e made Harrad old hat. But actually, 
these kids who a g together in coed 

in the old one-to-one 
ionships: if they split. 
We need to create the kind of str 
which the relationship could come a 
easily, that would let a youngster room 
with a member of the opposite sex—learn 
about the particular needs of another hu- 
man being—without that trauma. With- 
out that prior learning experience, I 
would think open marriage is just words. 
Most people don't know how to cope 
with it. 
MONEY: If I were d. 


ha 


rela 


signing the sex lives 


of young people in their latc high school 
or college years, 1, too, would allow them 
not just to learn about but to experience 
а variety of sexual relationships—until 
they established one that appeared to be 
ultimately capable of enduring. 
VAN DEN НААС: I think we are lucky that 
neither Dr. Money nor anyone else is “de- 
signing the sex lives of young people.” 
They prefer acting spontancously to 
having their lives designed or planned 
for then 
tovetace: That's for sure. Nobody plans 
ту life for me. Гуе been with my ma 
er, Chuck, for a very long tin 1 we do 
have an open relationship. Since we've 
been together, we've never been apart for 
more than an hour. He sees other chicks, 
but when he does, I'm with him. And if 
I'm with other dudes, he's with me, too. 1 
never go olt alone in another room with 
somebody else, and the same with him. 
We share everything. I don't see any. 
thing wrong with martied couples, or 
people who're living together, experienc- 
ing other people. Part of being with some- 
body is trusting him. If you're subject to 
fits of jealousy, you're just insecure 
KRONHAUSEN: I guess you could say my 
husband and I have an open-ended mar 
ge, but I don't even like to use the term 
marriage. То Ере and me it’s irrelevant 
whether we're married or not. It’s just 
never been 
because of the legal requirements, essen 
tially because it was easier to work pro- 
fessionally. To us. the important thing is 
our working relationship. 

VAN DEN HAAG: It’s interesting that you 
don't like to use the term marri; As 
1 said before, I think the open-ended rela- 
tionship is actually 
1 expansion of it. If you enter the 
marriage with the idea that you aren't 
committed, for heaven's sake, what are 
you doing? 

KRONHAUSEN: I didn't say we weren't 
commiued. Anyone who knows us те 
izes that commitment is the basis of our 
relationship. 

GOLDSTEIN: [ntellectually, L too, disagree 
with Dr. van den Haag. But emotional- 
ly. 1 realize that we have a tremendous 
heritage of insecurity. І mean. I know I 
would be a better person if my wile 
had outside sex tivity. But thar's 
on the theoretical level. On the practical 
level, I would feel frightened—although 
1 know there wouldn't be any reason to 
be, since E stay with my wife in spite ol 
my sexual experiences with other people. 
and that my love for my wife has nothing 
10 do with. say. Linda Lovelace's tech. 
al virtuosity. You'll excuse 
but for me my wife is better 
LOVELACE: People who own Fords think 
Fords are the best-made cars. 

GOLDSTEIN: But I'm so much а product of 
my male condi I fear some 
better tongue, some better cock will come 
along and I'll lose my wife. 

DAVIS: In a way, we have something in 


aportant to us. We married 


ne. Linda, 


eh M, 
M y e 
хои » 


Zu 
О &2 
== oi 
=a 
الا‎ 
= > 
nO 
oz 
e 
ca 
co 
= 
== 


THINK SILVA THINS 10 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous toYoi 


PLAYBOY 


82 


common. Intellectually, 1 can see that 
open marriage might be a healthy thing. 
But I don't think I could participate in it. 
I'm possessive. I'm jealous. I try desper- 
ately not to be, but I am. My lover and I 
have talked at length about the possi 
ties of making ours a nonmonogamous 
relationship; it would make us able to re- 
Tate to all kinds of people. bring all kinds 
of new experiences into our lives. Yet we 
Know we couldn't do it. We didn’t begin 
our relationship within that structure 
and it seems impossible to impose a dif- 
ferent set of rules on our relationship at 
this point. 

RIMMER: I can give you an example of 
how one open-ended marriage works. 1 
know a guy who has a radio show in Los 
Angeles. He and his wife have two kids, 
and they divide the baby-sitting chores 
equally. They have an agreement that 
they can’t bring other people home, 
but they can have any outside experi- 
ences they want, without any accounta- 
bility. She’s aware that he’s been sleeping 
with some girl in the studio, because he's 
gone a couple of nights a week and 
doesn't come back until the next morn- 
ing. He and his wife attended a party in 
my honor at the Beverly Hilton Hotel; 
another guest was a handsome movic pro- 
ducer. My friend's wife took onc look at 
him and boom! I could feel this thing be- 
tween them, By 11 o'clock, she and the 
producer had disappeared. Later, I asked 
her husband, “Where has your wife 
| “Oh, І guess she's gone 
with the producer.” “Are you goin 
wait for her?" I asked. “Oh, no, she won't. 
be home.” I would guess that kind of rela- 
tionship wouldn't persist over a period of 
ten years or so. Presumably, there’s no 
jealousy between them, and there may 
well not be. But I don't think their com- 
initment is strong cnough to hold them 
together, ultimately, if either discovered 
а person he or she would rather be with 
for, say, a week or two weeks rather than 
justa night. 

E. KRONHAUSEN: One of the things that 
happens so often in divorce, Hollywood 
style, is that people fecl they've fallen out 
of love, or that there's something wrong 
with their marriage, because of a less- 
ening of sexual interest in each other or 
а temporary attraction to another sex 
partner. Most of these cases arc sympto- 
matic of what the Kinsey people called 
psychological sex fatigue. In a stable 
chimpanzee population of, say, half a 
dozen males and half a dozen females, the 
te of sexual activity tends to drop off 
ter a while. If you introduce another fe- 
male, the rate will quickly rise—only to 
level off again. The same thing happens 
with human beings. The effect of the 
same stimuli tends to diminish over time. 
LOVELACE: That's why it's good to open up 
your relationship to outsiders. There's an 
added mystery when the other person is 
someone you don't know. If you're with 
the same person constantly, there's a limit 


to how much ol a different experience you 
сап have. There's more to it if you're 
with other pcople—just something extra 
E. KRONHAUSEN: That's not true for every- 
body. of course. We've studied qi 
number of couples who scem to be per- 
fectly monogamous. For one reason or ar 
other, they are happy and active sexually 
with each other over a long period, with- 
out the need of other stimuli. Now, that's 
beautiful. Some of them achieve that hap- 
piness with the help of erotica, some with 
the help of reading, some by varying their 
sexual techniques. But—unfortunately, 
perhaps—these arc rather the exceptions 
that confirm the rule. 
VAN DEN HAAG: Happiness is never at- 
tached to or excluded by any particular 
form. Saint Simeon Stylites, who lived on. 
top of a column for 30 years, might, for 
all E know, have been happy on that col- 
umn, There are millions of ways of being 
happy or unhappy, and everyone has to 
find his own, Still, the majority of man- 
kind is more comfortable, if not happier, 
being married than not being married. 
POMEROY: And a stable marriage са 
crate a great deal of outside sex 
limited way, seen only as insertion of a 
penis into a vagina. The problem with 
most extramarital intercourse has noth- 
ing to do with sex. It has to do with 
emotional involvements, and that’s where 
a stable marriage can get into trouble. 
And that’s one of the advantages of 
alized swinging: йз very suictly 
limited to penis and vagina. 
RIMMER: The average swinger is very much 
against both commitment and inyolve- 
ment. The male, particularly, doesn't 
mind if you screw his wife and he screws 
yours, but he doesn’t want you to fall in 
love with her. He doesn’t want to have 
anyone else find her interesting as a 
human being. 
SIMON: To me, this middle-American at- 
tempt at swinging doesn't represent so 
much the future as a kind of dead-end 
version of the present. So many of these 
people strike me as individuals who have 
made it to a mass-produced version of 
the American dream: a suburban house, 
two cars and two kids. But, haying made 
it. they find an absence of pleasure and 
excitement, coupled with a fear of grow- 
ing old and somehow having missed 
s- Without a capacity to ques- 
tion the system as such, or to break away 
and find a new commitment to life, they 
shore up their present banal existences 
with sex: sex neatly segregated from the 
rest of their social lives. And they work at 
swinging with the same energy with which 
Шу pursued the more standard. 
n of the American dream. 
And there are very definite 
les for this sort of activity: no 
le the party and, in a simple 
swap situation, no assignations between 
the nonmarital partners when the spouse 
isn't present. And, equally important, no 
talking of love or affection while you're 


having sex, although comments on sexual 
prowess are fine. 
PLAYBOY: When many swinging couples 
get back together to discuss their experi- 
ences, according to some studies, they 
often belittle the performance of their ex 
tramarital sex partners in order to dimin 
ish jealousy. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: That has certainly not 
our experience as, shall we say, par 
observers in numerous group-sex 
situations in both Europe and America 
Quite the contrary; we have frequently 
itnessed husbands and wives or lovers 
lling happy and exhausted into cach 
other's arms after a particularly grati- 
fying sexual experience with somconc 
else. And why shouldn't that be so? If 
you really love somebody, anything that 
makes him or her happy ought to make 
you happy, too, shouldn't it? 
SIMON: Should it? The puritan world 
made us strangers to ourselves by requir- 
ing that we deny our own feelings and de 
sires. Sexual utopians tend to do the same 
thing, by holding out a model of sexual 
fulfillment that few, if any, people may 
be capable of achieving. Feelings like 
jealousy and insecurity come out of our 
own experience and are not easily de- 
icd—nor should they be, as a matter of 
fact. Better that they be expressed than 
that they survive as self-doubt or as un- 
stated accusations against one’s partner. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: The problem of jealousy 
exists to a certain extent even in group- 
sex situations, though in all the ycars 
we've been involved in it in England, 
ance and America, I can think of only 
one or maybe two serious insta 
a marriage or pair bond actua 


nces where 


Шу broke 


up on account of it. What you find more 


vhich is quite different from 
alousy—that maybe you'll find your- 
self, as a male, literally outfucked by other 
men with a much higher potency than 
yours. 

SIMON: Evcryman as superstud, with or 
gasm asthe ultimate defeat. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: Women can become ncrv 
ous, too, when they see other women 
reaching orgasm much more casily than 
may be truc from their own experience, 
or being capable of multiple orgasms, 
Ше they may not be, and tl 
that. I think that's much more important 
than purely physical comparisons of your 
own body with those of others. In fact, in 
groupsex situations, very often the older, 
more experienced and perhaps less beau. 
tiful women are more in demand than 
the younger, more attractive girls who 
still have a lot to learn and aren't really 
with it yet. 

PLAYBOY: Who usually takes the Ісай in 
involving a couple in swinging? The 
male or the female? 

POMEROY: Commonly, they get involved 
a the instigation of the male—but the 


A tuner and an amplifier 
should be mated somewhat more carefully 
than a husband and wife. 


Marry a tuner with an amplifier, 
and you have not only a receiver, 
buta union that's truly indissoluble. 

Ithad better be a good one. 

For to join a fantastic tuner with a 
lesser amplifier, or a sensational 
amplifier with a tuner that's merely 
great, is to invite unhappiness. But 
match two equals, and they can 
make beautiful music together— as 
they must, to live in happy harmony 
with you. 

That's why the Sony STR-7065 
receiver is a perfect mating. Its tuner 
hasthe sensitivity to reach out for 
signals from even the most distant 
fringe locations. yet has discrimina- 
tion enough (70dB IHF selectivity, 
1dB capture ratio) to pluck one sig- 
nal clearly from a crowded band. 

And the 7065's direct-coupled 
amplifier brings to this union the 
strength of 60+60 RMS watts (from 
20Hz to 20kHz at 8 ohms with less 
than 0.2% distortion). Versatile vur- 
trols offer a choice of three speaker 
pairs, mic mixing and dual tape 
monitors. Switchable preamp-out/ 
amplifier-in connections permit in- 
dependent use of each section and 
acdition of accessories. 

Sucha happy union should spar- 
kle visibly as well as musically. And 
the 7065 does, with lights that tell 
which of its many functions are in 
use and dual tuning meters. 

The Sony 7065, at $499.50? is 
our top-of-the-line receiver. For 
those who feel a union can survive 
with fewer luxuries (no indicator 
lights, signal strength meter or mic 
mixing control), we offer the Sony 
STR-7055. It has 35--35W RMS, 
20Hz to 20kHz at 8 ohms with 0.2% 
THD. At $399 50* it's an equally 
well-mated receiver. Sony Corp- 
oration of America, 9 West 57th St., 
New York, N.Y. 10019. 


"Suggested retail. Prices include walnut finish cabinets. 


83 


PLAYBOY 


84 


female perpetuates it after he's lost inter- 
est. She's hooked, as it were. 

DODSON: It’s important that the woman 
not be coerced. Some men let the woman 
know that if she won't go with them, 
they'll find someone who will. When I set 
up a party, I nearly always talk to the 
women, not the husbands. 

SIMON: 1 can understand that. For many 


women. 
DAVIS: Yes, I think men really like the 
idea of sharing their property with other 


guys—and showing the guys that they've 
got higher-quality property than someone 
else has. 

SIMON: But the nice thing about swing- 
ing, for the women as well as the men ir 
volved, is that it establishes a situation 
where the risks of rejection are relatively 
small. It also lightens the burden of guilt, 
by making a wile or girlfriend an accom- 
plice and, as Dr. Pomeroy suggests, one 
who may feel much more at home with it, 
ultimately, than he does. 

RIMMER: Once the female gets involved 
swinging, she often discovers that the sex 
is better than what she's been having with 
her own male; better, in fact, than she 
could get from any one mal 
P. KRONHAUSEN: It's fun. You go there just 
to have a good time. If we could get 
just one message across to the young— 
through the Int mal Museum of 
Frotic Art in San Francisco, for example— 
would be that sex should be for recrea 
tion, not procreation. 

SIMON: І don't want to come on like the 
world’s greatest square, but much of this 
talk sounds like little more than the du- 
bious joys of mindless organ grinding, 
with an occasional overlay of humanistic 
psychology. It sounds hygienic, almost 
athletic. There is something frighteningly 
passionless about it 

VAN DEN HAAG: And, even worse, emo- 
tionless. Group sex is. in effect, а mas- 
turbat ise; you get someone else 
10 stimulate your sensations without 
touching your emotions. Sex used as a 
version, particularly in a group situa- 
tion, is not the kind of sex I would like. 
PLAYBOY: Have you ever tried it? 

VAN DEN HAAG: No, I haven't. I'm reason- 
ably sure I'd be unlikely to enjoy it, be- 
cause I'm fairly convinced I have only 
one penis—and I cin do only one thing 
time—nor have I ever found myself 


somcone wcre to invite me to a 
group-sex party, I might go, probably out 
of curiosity. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: With 
who'd invite yo 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Actually, those gatherings 
cin be amusing as well as erotic. We've 
often laughed our fool heads off at а sex 
party. When you've got 20 people on a 
bed, something funny is bound to hap- 
pen—like someone's falling off. Or ma 
ing a human pyramid and having the 
whole thing collapse. 


your attitudes, 


P. KRONHAUSEN: I'll never forget the 
we went to list spring, where the men 
turned on the TV to watch a basketball 
game. They were actually carrying port 
ble sets from room to room while thei 
was sex going on. Ebe and 1 couldn't be- 
lieve it. When it came to sports or sex, 
they chose spor 
VAN DEN НААС: J just changed my mind. 1 
think now I wouldn't go if someone did 
invite me. 
PLAYBOY: What's the usual ratio of males 
to females at à groupsex party 
POMEROY: Usually, people come in 
but an ideal swi 
twice as many males as females, because 
females can keep going longer. They 
usually wear the males out. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: That's a typical male 
fantasy. 
DODSON: True. Men can keep going, 
too—if they're liberated enough to real- 
ize that sex is more than just a hard-on 
and penetration. Touching, looking. 
sucking, playing and even listening are 
ll s and pleasurable. 
PLAYBOY: What kinds of erotica 
to get a groupsex party going? 
POMEROY: Porn movies are very common 
at swinging parties. The films are much 
like swinging: terribly ge 
cific, nonemotional. ‘They 
people develop their fantasies, give them 
ideas of what to do sexually. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Well, I'm not in the habit 
of going to sex parties with a tally sheet, 
but my guess would be that sex films have 
уса a role in no more than ten per- 
cent of all the parties I've attended. And. 
more often than not, they have a decided 
turn-off rather than turn-on effect under 
these circumstances. After all, if you 
have live stimuli all around you, who 
needs people fucking on the screen? The 
only thing Гуе ever seen working fine 
m such a situation were some really 
funny sex cartoons that made everybody 
laugh helped them relax and not take 
sex 50 darned seriously. 
Lovelace: Well, some people need the 
mulation of а film and others don't. 
Some guys are breast men, leg men, as 
men, belly men or car freaks: others like 
movies The majority of people who 
watch a so-called porn film are putting 
themselves into it, feeling that it's hap- 
pening to them instead of to the person 
on the sereen, 

But with or without porn films, 1 really 
don't dig the swinging scene. Swinging 
is middle-class America getting together 
on Friday night for two hours in bed, just 
because it's something to do. I don't think 
I could get into that, like answa 
ad and going to a party. My friends and 
I are totally involved in a circle of people 
who ball each other, but our relationship: 
is based on more than just sex. We do all 
kinds of things together. Swingers are 
strictly into balling: the guy wants to 
meet new chicks and the wife is past 
30 or 40, so she's into getting laid any 


arc used 


an 


way she can, That’s not my thing. 

E. KRONHAUSEN: Nor ours. The middle- 
American type of swingers you're talking 
about aren't very exciting people to be- 
gin with, and I don’t expect that they're 
any more exciting or passionate or imagi- 
native in their private sex life at home 
than they are in a group. On the other 
hand, let me assure you that Phyllis and I 
have had some very exciting, passionate 
and even ecstatic experiences in conne 
tion with group sex—and I'm using the 
word ecstatic in its truc literal meaning. 
as including religious or 'endental 
states of mind which Т treasure among 
the high points of my whole life. 
PLAYBOY: Is there any evidence, as some 
zealots insist, that parti in an orgy 
can help a sexually troubled marriage? 
LOVELACE: I don’t think so. It would prob- 
ably be bad for the ordinary middle-class 
American couple. Orgies, I believe, are 
for those with no hang-ups. If the couple 
with the problem were to get together 
with another couple, it would be much 
better for them than going to an orgy. 
GOLDSTEIN: Well, when my second wile 
and I were going through a bad period 
sexually, we went to an orgy with some 
hope of bringing fire to the relationship. 
But it didn't. Some people hold up orgies 
аз a panacea, like the patent medicines 
of the 19th Century, guaranteed to cure 
liver disease, I don't think an orgy will 
save a bad marriage—or kill a good o 
DODSON: ps an orgy can help 
end a ige—right Al? That 
party was at my place and, as I recall, 
you were huddled in the darkest corner 
until I lovingly brought you out 
GOLDSTEIN: Sure 1 was. It was а little 
strange meeting the Kronhausens there. 
From their books, I had always imagined 
them as an erudite duo. I didn't see them 
fuckers. It was a very humanizing expe- 
псе for me to realize that the people in 
the sex revolution are really into fucking, 
not just writing about it 

DODSON: Everybody's first orgy is mind 
boggling. 1 remember mine Half of me 
was thrilled, Ше other half terrified. 1 
didn't know what the social rules were. 
What should I wear? How should I get 
out of what T wear? What if somebody 
comes over whom 1 really don't want to 
all? What finally happened, though, was 
t I had a marvelous timc. 


ii 
1OVELACE: To be honest with you, I don't. 


vemember my first group experience very 
vividly. ‘There were just two men and two 
women in an apartment. We had worked 
together all day and just decided we'd get 
together that night. I remember really 
enjoying mysell—and I have ever since. 

E. KRONHAUSEN: Our own introduction to 
group sex was rather humorous. Pornog- 
raphy and the Law had just been pub- 
lished, and this couple came ringing our 
doorbell in La Jolla, asking us point- 
blank whether we practiced what we were 
preaching about sexual liberation. I said 


we were trying to. Well, they asked, had 
we сусг “partied”? We had to admit that 
the opportunity had never presented it- 
self to us. So they invited us the following 
weekend to a small party, and they 
couldn't get over the fact that we didn't 
ave any problems, It didn't take us long 
to get right into it. We thought it was the 
most natural thing in the world. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: Our next group-sex party 
was in Paris, We were picked up in the 
Bois de Boulogne. There was, and still is, 
a routine; you drive down the main ave- 
nue of the Bois, which traverses the leng 
of the woods. Just about any night of the 
week, especially in summer, people drive 
slowly along and blink their lights. After 
а while, you get a trail of three, four, 
twelve cars, and eventually you stop to 
discuss who's got the biggest apartment, 
nd that's where you go. 
SIMON: Be careful. Given the size of 
ıAYnRoY's readership, you may create 
fantastic traffic jam in the Bois de 
Boulogne. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: That would never stop 
the French. Anyway, they eventually 
wind up all fucking in the same room. 
That's substantially different from most 
American swingers’ protocol. The French 
find the sights and sounds of other people 
in aphrodisiac, but for the middle-Ameri- 
can type of swingers, that's almost taboo. 
Its very much OK, however, among the 
more sophisticated groups in this country. 
DODSON: If you're interested i 
thing different, let me tell you about 
some experimental parties I had last year. 
Some orgies were being held by women, 
but I realized we were inviting the people 
and providing a setting, running the 
party—but not running the sex. The m 
were still running the fuck, establishing 
the framework of the sex. So I set up 
sexual-consciousness- g group with 
women who had shared group sex. We 
conjectured what we would like to do sex- 
ually: act out our fantasies, do sexual 
guerrilla theater, have sensory encounter, 
do erotic massage. Women seldom allow 
themselves the privilege of being able to 
state their pleasure. 1 said I'd like to have 
three b. g in front of 
me, masturbating to orgasm while I 
watched. I finally got to watch two men 
making love and it was a fantastic sexual 
turn-on, 

At a subsequent party, we women 
brought vibrators and we initiated sen- 
sual massage and masturbation. We also 
showed the men the best positions for 
fucking while using the vibrator. 


suine- 


you can have penetration and use the v 
brator on your clitoris and the man can 
feel the vibrations inside you. One of the 


exciting developments was that as the 
women became more aggressive and said 
what they wanted, there were more fe- 
male orgasms. Women were having o 
gasms from direct clitoral stimulation, 


«l they could do it for themselve 
well as with a partner. 

GOLDSTEIN: I've got to give Betty credit for 
teaching me the wonders of the vibrator. 
and how great it feels under my balls. Vi- 
brators always used to be a no-no, some- 
thing you had to buy under the counter 
in a sexbook store. Now the poshest 
drugstores on Fifth Avenue are selling 
them for 52.95. You've probably noticed 
they never sell square vibrators; they're 
all cock-shaped, which probably accounts 
for a lor of wives smiling even when their 
husbands aren't around, The marketing 
of dildos is another step forward for mid- 
dle America. In fact, the ultimate dildo 
would be for insecure people like me, 
who need an emotional accompaniment 
to their raw sexuality. It would have 
voice box inside, saying "I love you, 
darling.” I think it's healthy that we now 
take such sexual hardware for granted, 
further opening up the anatomy to vio- 
lation and pleasure. Items like these are 
helping us to stop deifying sex. which 
should be considered just another part of 
life, another joy. 

DAVIS; I don't know any women who usc 
apparatus. Personally, Ї find such devices 
а lile inhuman. I guess Im just really 
hung up on flesh, as opposed to plastic 
and metal. But with or without vibrators, 
the mythology is that Lesbians can't live 
without being fucked—that women can't 
live without being fucked—and t 
solutely ridiculous. Women don’t neces- 
sarily need intromission. The scat of 
women's sexuality is clitoral. If more 
women realized that, they might develop 
а lot more power and autonomy in thei 
relationship 
PERRY: From the experiences of homosex- 
uals who come to me for counseling, 
would seem that vibrators and dildos are 
often used in groupsex situations. Some 
individuals especially like vib 
anal intercourse. If the 


s ab- 


ttitude is 
it helps heighten the sex act, then 
t's cool 
LOVELACE: It really depends on how good 
the vibrator is, I have a vibrator that’s not 
one of those Jong thin ones you put inside 
your vagina but the kind that you attach 
different things to the end of—more of a 
Clitoral vibrator. I's really fantastic. 
PLAYBOY: Many of you have painted a 
glowing picture of group sex. In fairness, 
shouldn't you deal with some of the 
drawbacks. 
SIMON: Well, first the Kronhausens create 
a traffic jam. Now the rest of you have 
made a substantial contribution to the 
energy crisis. 1 can almost see publi 
service announcements asking peaple at 
orgies not to turn on their vibrators dur- 
ng peak hours or when the temperature 
goes over 90 degrees. 
POMEROY: Good idea. But the prim 
ive aspect of group sex. as I see it. is 
ger of emotional involyement— 


other simultaneously. Their 


the problem of meeting somebody you 
tune into and then get emotionally in- 
volved with. When I talk about this with 
my patients, I always emphasize this very 
strongly—that they're sort of playing with 
dynamite. This is also a part of their life 
that they really have to cover up from 
their children, and even from their 
straight friends. 

E. KRONHAUSEN, Onc of the greatest draw- 
backs in group sex is а lot more basic— 
and pervasive: infection, whether it's a 
fungus or trichomoniasis or а bacterial 
fection like gonorrhea. We've never 
seen a case of syphilis in any group any- 
where in the world, but there have been 
plenty of the other problems, and that is 
really a turn-off. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: Essentially, infection hap- 
pens because of lack of sex education. 
First of all, most men refuse to believe 
that they сап get trichomoniasis, а com- 
mon parasitic infestation. Because it 
usually manifests itself as a vaginitis, they 
think that's a woman's disease; yet they're 
frequently the carriers and they will rarc- 
ly go for treatment, even though its easy 
The point is that even in these 
sing groups. people are ignorant. 
They're not educated about treating 
themselves. In fact. prostitutes are clean- 
er. because they ve been educated to take 
good care of themselves. Often, people in 
swinging frequent 
checkups, 
LOVELACE: If somebody's worrying about 
getting V. D., he's probably just fucking 
people who aren't knowledgeable. Гус 
never come across the problem, to be hon- 
et with you. I know the people I'm in- 
volved with, 

DODSON: Several years ago, when I first 
ot involved in group sex, I thought, 
‘Oh. this is going to save the world, this 
is the way, this is what I've been looking 
for" I had this enormous enthusiasm. 
Then after a while, I started. looking 
around and I noticed the same problems 
that occur in bedrooms across the country 
were happening at orgii the double 
ndard. And women not having or- 
gasms. And men hooked on their cocks, 
terrified whether or not they were going 
to get an erection. Guys who think that 
sexuality is based only on hard-ons, Be- 
cause of all that, there сап be negative 
vibrations at orgies. You often find the 
problems that exist in the pair bond, or 
in the marital unit, are carried over into 
group sex. But I still want to say that 
I love group sex and that it's given me a 
sexually supportive playground where 1 
can experiment and expand and learn 
how to be myself and enjoy myself wi 
other people. Sharing sexuality is a very 
loving thing. 

GOLDSTEIN: A good point, but group sex 
as a life style has to be a regressi 


Ez 


ıhe playground, like being with 18 
kids throwing sand pies. To me, the 
world of sexual greater outside 


the playground. I would rather have the 


85 


PLAYBOY 


[3 


multiplicity of sex realized with one part- 
ner than have 19 surface experiences w 
12 bodies in halfan hour. 
PLAYBOY: Is a man who gocs to bed with 
the same woman two or three times a 
night happier than the man who goes to 
bed with two or three women in one 
night? 
POMEROY: It depends on the man. You 
didn't say what he does with the women 
once he gets them in bed. 
MONEY: It also depends on how young you 
are, Who wants two or three if one is 
better? Or one if four are better? In quan- 
ative terms, there's no answer to a ques- 
tion like that. 
VAN DEN HAAG: The trouble with having. 
too many sexual partners in brief succes- 
sion is that a point is reached where they 
all begin to seem alike. 
SIMON: Right. The idea may be more 
pleasurable than the experience itself. 
Under some circumstances, three partners 
may only be three times the drag that one 
is. But they can also be spectacular. The 
numbers, by themselves, guarantee very 
little. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Once more, ours is quite 
the opposite perception. The sexual ex- 
periencing of another person always 
holds the most incredible surprises and 
often the unfolding of true mysteries to 
me. I find this as applicable to the group 
situation as to one-to-one encounters. 
Without that element of surprise, curi- 
osity and wonder, sex—whether in a 
group or on an individual basis—would 
be a pretty dull affair to me. 
RIMMER: It’s fairly typical of most swingers. 
though, to become bored or dissatisfied 
with the whole scene. I should mention 
two fascinating articles from my new 
book, Adventures in Loving, both writ- 
ten by women. With their husbands, they 
had been swingers for a couple of years, 
but they wanted more of a lasting rela- 
tionship. When the two couples met each 
other, that was it. They are now involved 
in a group marriage. 
PLAYBOY: How common is group mar- 
ge as a contemporary life style? 
POMEROY: We don't know exactly, but I 
can tell you with certainty that the num- 
ber is very small. IE you'll let me guess, 
we're talking about the low thousands. 
RIMMER: I'm in correspondence with at 
least a dozen middle-class people in their 
30s who are involved in such relation- 
ships. They're very average people, solid 
Americans in many ways, trying to sup: 
port families. Let me tell you about one 
foursome, two couples who contacted me 
after reading Proposition 31, which 1 
presume was a reinforcing book for them. 
I guess they regard me as the avuncular 
figure on the subject. One of these cou- 
ples has three children, the other two. 
One husband is an engineer, the other a 
salesman. They had no set pattern, but i 
у one week, one husband would sleep 
with the other wife a couple of times. One 


Sunday morning, the teenaged daughter 
of one couple asked the other husband, 
“Are you slecping with my mother?” He 
replied, “You'd better ask your mother." 
Finally, these couples explained the situ: 
tion to their children, and the two sets of 
youngsters subsequently worked out very 
well, merged in. 

But recently, one of the husbands wa 
transferred from the East Coast to Cali- 
fornia. I wondered how they were going 
to continue their relationship. Do you 
know what they did? The wives switched 
houscholds temporarily, One wife flew 
East for a month and the other flew West. 
In the middlc of this switch, the Califor- 
nia household was visited by friends of 
the wife—who couldn't believe what they 
saw. "Who's this woman living in your 
house?” they asked. I have a feeling d 
the biggest problem these four adults 
are having with their relationship is not 
with themsclvcs and not with thcir ch 
dren but with their peer group ques- 
tioning it. They don't dare explain to 
their friends—average middle-class Amer- 
—what they're doing, largely because 
of the sexual overtones. Mommy is sleep- 
ing with someone else, and Daddy is, too. 
That has to be pretty shocking to most 
Americans. 

MONEY: Naturally, most parents are up- 
tight about their children's discover 
that anything unconventional is going 
on. They always think they're hiding it 
fram the kids, but of course they can't. 
POMEROY: Onc of the things I'd say about 
group marriage is that it's tremendously 
complicated. To have a dyad is difficult 
enough. When you add a third and a 
fourth person, the complications are in 
creased exponentially, not just arithmet 
cally. The majority of them don't wor 
or they work for only a limited time—a 
year, two years, four years. They fall 
apart because of the tremendous com- 
plexities. It's said, and I believe it, that 
the sexual interaction is the least impor 
tant confusion: they can usually handle 
that. It’s the other interpersonal relation- 
ships—dominance, money, child care, for 
ple—that aren't so simple to con- 
tend with. 

SIMON: I would agree that most group 
marriages are doomed to be relatively 
short-lived, particularly among those for 
whom expanded sexual opportunities 
were the major attraction, At the same 
time, their participants seem to be m 
ing a statement about marriage as wc 
know it currently. They may be saying 
that a two-person system is too limited to 
handle the emotional complexities and 
demands of contemporary social life; that 
marriage generates too much guilt and 
anger. Guilt when we fail to respond to 
our partner's needs at а particular mo- 
ment or when we coerce our partner into 
responding in ways that he or she might 
not have wanted to: anger when our 
needs aren't met or when we are coerced 


into meeting needs we're not desirous of 
meeting. "These people who are trying 
group marriage secm to be saying that 
they want a larger number of persons 
within the lovi intimate bond. That 
they fail isn't surprising: few of us were 
raised to be capable of this broader con. 
cept of intimacy. That people keep 
trying, however, I find very impressive. 
PERRY: Bringing it into my own purview, 
let me say that jealousy is a significant 
factor in undermining gay group mar- 
riages. I've known of four group ma 
riages that are no longer together. Onc of 
them was patterned after Robert Hein- 
lein's Stranger in a Strange Land. Five 
individuals decided they would live to- 
gether in a loving relationship, and if 
any of them met someone new and want 
ed to bring him home, he could. It fell 
through when they began sharing sexu 
ly with one another. I've had group- 
marriage partners come to me and say 
they were getting tired of inviting a third 
ora fourth or a sixth party into their bed. 
room, because inevitably the newcomer 
got more attention than they did. 
DAVIS: I know a few gay women who arc 
involved in what seems to be a group 
marriage, and it's taken them а long 
to iron out their difficulties. Initially, 
their problem was one of jealousy, but it 
seems to be working for thern now that 
they have their individual shit together 
VAN DEN HAAG: My thcorctical view is that 
i Пу amounts to noth- 
ing more than some degree of promiscu- 
ity in a restricted group. I would predict 
that sooner or later, a group marriage will 
develop into fairly monogamous couples. 
Suppose there's a group of, say, six 
people. The chances are that each person 
will first have intercourse with the other 
five. But in time, I think a preference will 
develop for one person and they will tend 
to commit themselves—if not formally, at 
least emotionally —and are likely to have 
intercourse with each other almost exclu- 
sively. It's also possible that in some cases, 
a ménage à trois will develop, but I thiuk 
these are likely to be fairly exceptional 
RIMMER: Actually, the triad is the most 
popular form of group marriage in this 
country. And it works. In the past couple 
of years, I've had at least 50 letters from 
people involved in three-person rel 
ships, those of one male and two fem 
or two males and onc female being about 
equally common, I would think that 
triads of long standing would eventually 
evolve into bisexual relationships, to 
some extent. The other group n 
І have known have tended to mainta 
sepa ids, separate coupl 
change exists, but they don't interact sex- 
ually as a foursome. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: We don't have any per- 
sonal experience with group marriage. 
But it's to be expected that group mar- 
riage would minimize certain problems 
that are more acute and troublesome 


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Grcen Bay and Lake Michigan. Sailors 
right to the core, the crew occasionally 
enjoyed a rum ration or two. 

But they'd take theirs on land and 
witb Coke. And their favorite watering 
spot was a pub in Marinette, Wisconsin. 

"There, tiring of mixing Bacardi and 
Coke by the glass, the manager came up 
with one big idea: Bacardi and Coke by 
the pitcherful! It was a natural. 

And often, as each pitcherful was 
made, customers counted off the shots of 
Bacardi as they hit the ice: “One! Two! 
Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! 
Nine! Ten!” 

The drink soon became the pub's most 
popular. By word-of-mouth, you might 
say. And it wasn’t long before the 

Pitcher idea caught on at pubs and 
lounges throughout the U.S. 


A 


4 2 - 
Coincidentally, it was word-of-mouth that made rum and 
Coke popular originally. The words were out of the mouths 
of three famous sisters as they sang their forties hit, "Drink- 
ing Rum and Coca-Cola.” 
But were they singing about Bacardi rum? It's thought so. 
After all, the drink was invented with Bacardi rum and Coke. 
That happened one August day at а "barcito" in Cuba 
just after the Spanish-American War. 
As recalled by Fausto Rodriguez, a U.S. Army Signal 
Corps messenger, if was an American civil 
servant who first ordered Bacardi and 
Coca-Cola together. 
Intrigued, a couple of U.S. soldiers 
did the same. And that was the begin- 
ning of what is probably the world’s 
| most popular mixed drink today. 
\ No doubt you've enjoyed it your- 
\\ self many times, And today you too 
can serve it by the pitcherful just the 
way pubs all over the U.S. arc doing. 
In fact, you can even get authentic 
pitchers and have your own pitcher. 
parties. 


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PLAYBOY 


88 


traditional marriage, because it defuses 
them, so to speak. On the other hand, it 
seems only logical that group marriage 
could magnify certain other problems 
that may be more easily dealt with on a 
one-to-one basis. 

RIMMER: I would agrce, in this sense: If 
you're in a group of four, and one male, 
for instance, strays into an outside affa 
you're complicating the thing immeasura- 
bly. One wife in such a situation came 
to me recently, saying, “We were four 
healthy people, and then we all got vene- 
real disease.” It had to come out, finally, 
that one of the men—her husband, in 
fact—had dallied in an outside affair. 
That broke the group marriage apart. 
Blew it high, wide and handsome—prob- 
ably even more than It would have in a 
monogamous relationship. 

Group marriage also opens up а num- 
ber of other areas that traditional 
marriage doesn't Four people, if the 
marriage includes two couples, simply 
can't react to one another in the same 
мау as two. The male can never act in a 
rchal sense, because his power 


is diluted. If he’s trying to dominate his 
wife—like making dema 


nds on her or 
arguing with her—he's now doing it be- 
fore an audience of two other people. 


That changes his whole behavior reac 
tiom. He must be less dominant, more 
careful in thrusting hls ego demands. 
Another interesting learning experience, 


for a male, is adjusting to another male. 
The average male is brought up with a 
dominance syndrome, but he now has to 
relate, day by day, to another man and 
often deler to him. And, of course, jcal- 
ousy as such has to be relearned in a 
whole new context. The only way a group. 
relationship will work is if the original 
pair bonds are pretty strong. If there's 
one neurotic person in this arrange- 
ment, the four—or six—won't work. 
PLAYBOY: Are there any basic differences 
between group marriage and communal 
living? 

RIMMER: A commune would have more 
people involved. Group marriage, as I 
have projected it, would never exceed 
three couples. In some communes, 15 or 
20 people live in the same house. 

LOVELACE: Size is the main difference. But 
there are a couple of others. Married 
chicks are more likely to become jealous 
than the single chick in a commune. And 
in а commune, everyone works together; 
тоя group marriages, everyone does 
their own thing. 

RIMMER: lhere was a commune called 
Harrad West out in San Francisco, started 
by eight people, where residents actually 
put up a duty roster specifying sleeping 
arrangements а month in advance. Even- 
tually, it exploded because outsiders 
dropped in and, consequently, the sexual 
exchange became very muddy. When you 
get free sexuality in a commune, you're in 
trouble. You just can't str 
body has to get hurt. 


MONEY: That jibes with what little 1 
know about communcs. Love affairs in- 
evitably destroy them, 
Perry: There are gay communes through- 
out America, but a typical one doesn’t 
involve sexual sharing. Once the partici- 
pants become lovers, they have a decided 
tendency to get an exclusive relationship 
going. Most of the gay communes are liv- 
ing arrangements where some of the 
members work to pay the bills while oth- 
ers take care of the home, 
RIMMER: What really seems to blow com- 
munes apart is the absence of a common 
stated goal among its members. There 
may be an economic interest that, if 
strong enough, will hold them togethe 
But that’s about the only goal that works. 
DODSON: I experimented with а minicom- 
mune last year. There were five of us and 
we were together four months. It was a 
very dynamic learning experience. But 
it's very difficult to livc in groups, becausc 
we don't have enough emotional experi- 
ence or preparation. You must confront 
nd feelings that can be 
ir bond. It was 
great while we were togedier—and it wa 
great to getapart. 
POMEROY: There arc all sorts of com- 
munes; some aren't sexual at all, being 
built around a work ethic or a product. 
Sometimes there is sex among married 
couples, but the commune is basically an 
economic unit, as Mr. Rimmer points out. 
But my opinion, and I guess it's not orig 
1, is that а sexual commune works only 
as long as you have a strong charismatic 
figure controlling it. As soon as he’s gon 
the thing falls apart. That happened in 
New Harmony, it happened in Oneida, it 
happens in modern communes. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: I recently visited the 
People's Republic of China, where I spent 
several weeks as member of the first del- 
ton of American women to visit that 
country, and as I understand it, it’s not 
any one leader, not even the mystique of 
Chairman Mao, that holds together the 
country and the communes we visited, 
but the belief in and dedication to a 
common goal. 
SIMON: 1 would want to distinguish be- 
tween communes that are created in 
order to serve some ideological purpose 
and those that represent more personal- 
ized attachments—a clan or extended. 
family. The first kind clearly has more vi- 
ability but tends to subject its members to 
demands for cxtreme conformity. The 
second kind is far less stable but repre- 
sents 4 more interesting kind of experi- 
ment, Such communes depend upon a 
high level of economic, emotional and 
sexual affluence, such that no one need 
ever ask: “Am I getting as much as I'm. 
giving?” As soon as that question gets 
asked, it's just about all over. 

I lived in that Кіпа of situation for a 
short period, and while it lasted, it pro- 
vided great happiness. I think that all of 


us who were involved were, for that pe- 
riod of time, better people than we nor- 
mally were. And now that it’s past, which 
is something that saddens me, I feel that 
I've been changed by that experience. 1 
may be as self. protective as any of us, but 
atleast I'm more aware now of how costly 
my self-protective devices really are. I 
don't believe in them the way I once did 
GOLDSTEIN: Well, the al revolution 
an be won only in terms of changing our 
heads, and part of that is learning about 
those self protective devices. One of mine 
has to do with bisexuality—which, by the 
way, is where T think the sex revolu 
will go: not in the d 
sexual group relationships but toward 
bisexuality, It’s an area that frightens me 
tremendously, and yet we know that in 
the animal kingdom bisexuality is prev- 
alent—because it's normal I have a 
feeling that before long it will be fashion- 
able among humans as well. 

MONEY: Living in the backwaters of Bal 
more, I'm not well enough in on this 
thing to be able to say whether it's going 
to be fashionable or not. But I've picked 
up enough clues to know that something. 
is happening on the bisexual front that 
wasn't happening five years ago. I 
wouldn't be surprised if the Seven 
earned the sobriquet of the bi 
decade. 

VAN DEN HAAG: If you define bisexuality 
as our being capable of having inter 
course with and even attachments to 
ex, tiat is urue—burt 
trivial, If you define it in terms of persons 
who are equally interested in sexual 
tivity with either sex, I deny that there 
ате such persons. Everyone I have ever 
known sooner or later has developed а 
preference for one sex or the other. I 
don't believe that anyone is just 50-50. 
"The homosexual who is married and du: 
tifully has intercourse with his wife, or 
even a few affairs, will tell you he’s bisex- 
ual—but it's not true. He's either homo- 
sexual—and for various reasons, social 
ages in heterosexual 
tivities—or he is a heterosexual who 
has strayed. 

DAVIS: People do have definite prefer. 
ences. But those preferences can be re- 
conditioned; I was conditioned to be 
heterose: never 50-50. Now my 
Lesbianism has solidified. There is а right- 
ness in being where I am. With 2 woman, 
even when we're fighting, even when 
there's tension in the air, I just know I'm 
in the right place. With a mau, even when 
things were nice and comfortable and ev- 
erything was swectness and light, somc- 
thing smelled funny. Sounds didn't come 
through right, things didn't taste right, 
my senses didn't dick. I would never 
again experiment with a heterosexual 
relationship. I will never sleep with а 
man again as long as I live. Not since I've 
discovered the totality of relationships 
with women. 
POMEROY: Most 


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PLAYBOY 


30 


resolute. We have found many males and 
females who think of scx as sex, and 
whether it comes from a male or a female 
is unimportant to them. Perhaps, Dr. van 
den Haag, you're getting your data from 
your private practice, and with all due 
respect, any clinician—I don't care how 
good he is—who makes generalizations 
from his private practice is in trouble. IE 
I were to generalize about the homo- 
sexual patients 1 see in ту practice, I'd 
say they're all neurotic—but why else 
would they come to me? I can't generalize 
from them to the total population. What 
we do know is that bisexuality was ramp- 
ant even back in 1918, when we pub- 
lished the male volume of the Kinsey 
reports. We found that 46 percent of 
the males were neither purely homo- 
sexual nor purely heterosexual. Some 
ten percent of married males, we found, 
were having homosexual relations while 
heteroscxually married. But people 
weren't anxious to let it be known. There 
was all sorts of covering up. 

SIMON: I really must quarrel with your 
statistics, Wardell. Those original Kinsey 
data were subject to two kinds of error. 
The first—and more miner—was the pos- 
sibility, since discovered, that Kinsey 
advertently oversampled the gay world. 


"The second involves one of interpreta- 


n. The larger part of the group had 
their homosexual experiences—if they 
can be called that—during adolescence, 
usually in the company of other adoles 
cents; shooting off to see how far it would 
go, that sort of thing. For very few was 
there any significant amount of homosex- 
ual behavior past adolescence. 

POMEROY: Bill, go back and read the male 
volume again. You say, “For very few was 
there any significant amount of homo: 
ual experience past adolescence.” Does 
more than 20 percent sound like very few? 
As for your first statement—that we 
adyertently oversampled the gay world— 
this is probably technically true, but we 
also got cover-up in this arca, too. Be- 
sides, the errors were only minor ones. 
RIMMER; Well, whatever the case was in 
1948, 1 notice ап increase in the admis- 
sion of bisexuality today. People who had 
bisexual feclings and never dared to be 
open about them are talking about it 
now. It's the same thing Kinsey did for 
the world with the publication of his 


reports. All of a sudden, he made fella- 
tio and cuni s respectable. People 
thought: “IL everyone else is doing it, it 


can't be the sickness I've been told it was 
ever since my childhood. 
GOLDSTEIN: When I was 17 and read Henry 
Miller on eating pussy, it gave me a ш 
mendous purilving sense of not being 
alone. What Miller did for the Thirties, 
I'd like to see today's propagandists, to- 
day's sexologists and today's explorers do 
for bisexuality, I'd like them to say that 


whether we reach out for tits or balls, 


we're reaching out lor another human. 
being, I think bisexuality is much more 
sane than being a committed heterose: 
or homosexual. But it's an area that's 
fraught with fears, especially for a ри 
terms of the whole concept of machismo. 
The thought of my sucking a cock is very 
frightening to me, and I haven't done it. 
Yet I chink ГИ be ишу healthy when Гуе 
iberated myself enough to be active 
homosexually. 
DODSON: Bisexuality—relating to both 
exes equally—is the fullest form of sex- 
ual expression. But selfsexuality is the 
and essen gredient. You have 
to love yourself before you can be bisex- 
ual. Women are getting it together, be- 
cause they aren't that terrified of each 
other's bodies, bur, as Al indicated, men 
really have а problem, Heterosexual mcn. 
are so afraid of each other, so afraid to 
have any kind of sensitivity or sexual 
feeling for each other, that it's really 
inhibiting. The division of sexuality into 
opposing camps keeps us repressed and 
apart. Bisexuality doesn't replace hetero- 
sex or homosex but, rather, expands both 
and brings us all together. I'm learning 
vuality after many years of hetero- 
sexual conditioning. and knowing 1 can 
love both women and men makes me feel 
a lot more secure. 
SIMON; It seems to me that the capacity to 
engage in bisexual behavior demonstrates 
n ability to break out of sex-role stereo- 
types. To the degree that we break out 
af the John Wayne—or, for women, the 
Doris Day—mold, we should be able not 
only to relate sexually to persons of the 
same scx but to play more roles in bed, re 
gardless of gender. Men don't always have 
to be aggressive and females receptive. 
he notions of masculinity and feminin- 
ity that encapsulate us in so many aspects 
of our lives are really little more than cul- 
tural conventions. John Money's research 
on gender identity, possibly more than 
anyone clse’s, cloquenily points in that 
direction, 
MONEY; Well, it's certainly true that we 
put an awful lot more pressure on boys to 
be masculine. Girls arc allowed to dance 
together; they're allowed to sleep togeth- 
and if two girls are 
seen hugging cach other in school, it's 
generally regarded as an expression of 
idship, not of sex. They practically 
ге to be sharing a dildo before anybody 
gets uptight about it. So there's more per- 
issiveness about physical contact be- 
n growing and adolescent girls than 
there is between boys. But in reality, body 
п males—even up to the 
point of orgasm—has no particular dan- 
gers, either physical or psychological, pro- 
led it's part of the universally accepted 
cultural pattern and the people doing it 
aren't regarded as freaks. 
VAN DEN HAAG: I was brought up in Italy, 
and my male friends and I would freely 
ce; we would w arm arm 


sometimes and literally not dream of this 
аз а homosexual gesture, But in th 
try, there’s an almost phobic fear among 
males of touching each other, and exces. 
sive fear of one’s own homosexual im- 
pulses. I think these men would probably 
discover what they felt for a male friend 
was simple affection, not homosexuality, 
but they are afraid. I think that's because 
the mother, in the typical American 
home, scems to be the dominant figure. 
at's not really true, but to the child it 
appears that way. The father, in his cycs, 
is just the fellow who takes out the gar- 
bage; so the son's male identification is 
rather precarious and must be defended 
more strongl: 
PERRY: Sometimes in the gay community 
it’s fashionable to say you're bi 
Because then at least you're half norma 
according to our society. But I don't be- 
lieve in any way, shape or form that heter- 
osexuals аге more normal than I am. 1 
have a feeling that most of bisexuality is 
due to curiosity, a desire to experiment 
LOVELACE: Whatever their reasons f 
doing it, people have been digging rela. 
tionships with either sex since way back 
time, all the way back in the Bible, A 
man and two women is the ideal sexual 
relationship as far as I'm concerned. 
PLAYBOY: Why is that? 
LOVELACE: Because everything about it is 
groovy. A guy can be with one girl; he 
can be with the other girl; he can he 
with both girls. I mean, every man would 
like to he with two women—it’s kind of 
double your pleasure, double your fun 
And there's more for me to enjoy as a 
woman, too. A woman can satisfy a wom- 
an better than a man can. She knows how 
t feels to another woman, that's why. A 
man can be told, and he can uy all his 
lifetime, but he doesn't know what it 
{eels like. A woman shares more with you 
than a man does. Like Chuck and my 
friend Cherie and 1, we've got a groovy 
relationshi 
PLAYBOY: Are there no dangers in bisex: 
ual experimentation? 
DAVIS: ОГ сошѕе there are. Bisexuality 
could fuck you up worse than hetcrosex- 
uality. At least with heterosexuality, you 
can totally delude yourself into thinking 
everything's OK and that youre normal. 
ith bisexuality, you're impairing your 
delusion, and you're certainly impair- 
g your liberation. T can't see total lib- 


p. 


on for a woman as anything but 
Lesbianism. 
DODSON: 1 scc no dangers in bisexual ex- 


perimentation. On the contrary, I leel 
there is far more danger in a rigid sex- 
ual posture. How are we going to change 
and grow without experimenting? And, 
Madeline, total liberation, for me, would 
include everyone. We need to let go of the 
labels and just be sexual. 
MONEY: What in this world is without 
dangers? For some people, not to exp 
rience bisexuality would be a danger. 
There are those who have hitherto 


COOLIÍiRE 


thought themselves exclusively homo- 
sexual who will be able to discover а bi- 
sexual potential in themselves, and. vice 
versa for heterosexuals. Some people will 
discover they have no bisexual potential. 
And for some it will be a danger even to 
periment. Consent is the thing. There 
is no need either to deny biscxua 
to imposc it on anyone. 
POMEROY: І think Albert Ellis makes a val- 
id point when he says that if, under any 
circumstances whatever, a heterosexual 
refused to have sex with a same-sexed per- 
son, or a homosexual with an opposite- 
sexed person, then he or she would 
bc neurotic. However, extreme circum- 
stances rarely exist for most of us. Bi- 
sexual experimentation can be dangerous 
for the fragile, the rigid, the unsure—and 
it can also be unfun for those who just 
don't dig their own sex. 
PERRY: 1 once suggested to Steve. my other 
half, that he might like to experiment 
sexually with a woman, because I felt per- 
haps he was curi 
about my heterosexual marriage. He was 
curious enough that we decided to attend 
a showing of an erotic film, Mona, in 
which a woman friend of ours was ap- 
pearing, Steve's comment, after secing the 
plicit heterosexual sex scenes, was, 
s just not for me.” That was the 
end of that. I personally don't feel that 
people should be pushed into any type of 
sexual act that they feel is unnatural to 
them. On the other hand, 1 know a guy 
who ended up at a swingers’ party in bed 
with another man while his wife had 
sex with another woman, That was about 
three years ago. Since then, they hi 
experimented further with bi 
they tell me, and it doesn't seem to 
have hurt them. 
SIMON: It’s amazing how much all love- 
making—straight and gay—really looks 
and feels alike. Most of the claims of 
something special about straight and 
gay activity come from cach group's 
trying to defend ity phobic reaction 10 
the other. But for many people—both 
straight and gay—that phobic response is 
sufficiently strong that any attempt at bi- 
se 
heads. If 1 fear heights, for example, 
as a result can't ride in elevators or 
planes, 1 ought to do something about it. 
But that doesn't mean I ha ike up 
mountain climbing. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: Any situation you expose 
yourself to that has the potential of bring: 
ing out overpowering feelings of anxiety 
or panic presents the same sort of danger 
you're talking about. It has nothing to do 
with sex as such. 
VAN DEN HAAG: The dangers of bisexuality 
are comparable to those of LSD. For some 
people it's harmless, as far as we know. In 
others it has precipitated а breakdown 
requiring institutionalizaci 
or permanent. So bisexual exper 
tion may precipitame panic or a break- 
52 down, but 1 think it's likely to leave most. 


PLAYBOY 


ty produces only bad sex and bad 
ind 


people indifferent or, at worst, disgusted. 
PLAYBOY: If biscxuality is on the rise, as 
most of you seem to be saying, how about 
overt homosexuality? Has there been any 
appreciable change in the gay population 
in the United States in the past 10 
or 20 years? 

Perry: Every time I speak on а campus, 
I find individuals getting up and saying, 
“Well. there are more homosexuals in 
America than ever before,” and 1 always 
say, "V ly disagree with that." 
Т think what's happening is that today 
жете talking about it more. The figure 
may be increasing a little because the 
population is increasing. The statisti 
from anthropologists, from the Kinsey re- 
port, are that the gay population fluctu- 
ates somewhere between four and ten 
percent n society, In Аше 
probably close to six percent of the popu- 
lation is homosexual. In Los Angeles 
County alone, we es 00.000 


а, 


There are not only more Lesbians 
coming out; in sheer numbers, there are 
really more Lesbians. Maybe the women's 
movement has created this situation. 
Through commitment to women's causes, 
probably a number of women have real- 
ized that commitment must be total. 
Lovelace: Whatever the numbers аге, I 
think they may be going up. People are 
more open about homosexuality, more 
proud of it now. And, as people are find- 
ing out that their closest friends are into 
it. they're trying it themselyes. I imagine 
this might cause a gradual increase. 
PlAYBOY: When did you realize that you 
were а homosexual, Mr. Perry? 

PERRY: I believe I've always been gay. At 
the early age of fiv 


throw me around the way he did those 
natives. At the age of nine, I had my first 

паї experience—my first sexual 
nce for that matter—with a boy 
neighborhood who was 13. Though 
people tell me 1 was picked up by a dirty 
young man, I was actually the aggressor 
in that situation. But since our society 
said you were to date young women, you 
were to marry, you were to have children, 
I got heterosexually married just before 
my 19th birthday. 

At the time, J was pastoring a funda- 
mentalist Pentecostal church that discour- 
aged any kind of sex activities outside 
marriage. As a teenager, I had had some 
problems when a group of us had been 
caught masturbating at our church 
Actually, we had mutually mastu 
The very idea that you would touch an 
other male’s penis was too much for this 
group of conservative Christians. So when 
I decided to get married, 1 discussed that 
episode and my feelings for other males 
with the minister who was going to per- 
form the ceremony. He told me marriage 
would cure everything, get rid of all those 
feelings. My fiancée’s attitude, too, was 


that the marriage would take care of ev- 
erything. But it didn’t. I could have inter- 
course with my wife, but five minutes 
later 1 would feel something was lacking. 
DAVIS: І had a similar experience in my 
own heterosexual marriage. I was a vic 
m of the same kind of programing all 
women are subjected to in our society: to 
get married within a particular age range, 
have babies, settle down, be a good moth 
cr. Being Jewish, I was under pressure 
not only to get married but to marry a 
nice Jewish boy. But 1 didn't; 1 married a 
nice Episcopal boy. I liked him very 
much; I thought I loved him. 1 think one 
of the reasons I didn't marry a nice Jew. 
ish boy was because of the safety valve. 1 
knew if I married somebody who wasn’t 
Jewish, I could get out of it more easily 
апа with less parental disapproval. And 
1 did, after a year and a half. It wasn't 
hideous, it was just incomplete. I couldn't 
understand why nothing was happening. 
1 thought all the things that women 
think—I must be frigid, orgasms aren't 
happening, there must be sometl 
wrong with me. 

PERRY: Me, too. During the first six 
months of my marriage, | had onc expe- 
rience with another male—and felt 
completely satisfied. Then there was a 
threeandachal-year period in which 
nothing happened: I kept fighting with 
myself, saying, "No, no, you're not a 
faggot, you're not a gutter creature. But 
Troy, what in God cating at you?" 
Finally 
walked 
physique magazines for the first time in 
my life. When I started looking through 
them, I was excited by what I saw. 1 final- 
ly got up enough nerve to ask the woman. 
behind the counter if she had any books 
on homosexuality. Years later, friends 
told me that I had happened into the only 
place in Orange County that stocked any 
type of gay books. 1 bought a copy of 
everything she had. Most of them were 
noyels, and they turned me on, but they 
didn't tell me anything until 1 found 
The Homosexual in America, by Donald 
Webster Cory. When 1 read that little 
paperback, I knew beyond the shadow 
of a doubt that I was a homosexual. 

T went to my district elder and told him 
about myself, He just became unglued 
and exclaimed, "My God, have you mo- 
lested some litle boy in Sunday school? 
That was his stereotype of the homose: 
ual: the child molester. He told me to 
pray and forget all tha But 
when I was 23, I separated from my wife. 
She moved back to where her parents 
lived. They are ministers and they felt 
that homosexuality was a form of demon 
possession—that all ties should be severed 
forever. When she finally got a divorce, 
she made it plain that she wouldn't let me 
sce our two children again. But I will; I 
want to see them. 

DAVIS: Even when I thought I 
straight, I never wanted children, But the 


Iter we'd moved to California, I 
nto a bookstore and saw some 


ionsense. 


DEWARS PROFILES 


N E TN 
MARILYN MICHAELS 
HOME: New York City 
AGE: 28 
PROFESSION: Entertainer 
HOBBIES: Painting and writing 
LAST BOOK READ: “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” 
LAST ACCOMPLISHMENT: Developed one-woman 
show of her paintings and etchings in New York City. 
QUOTE: “At the end of a performance it is a very 
emotional experience to have an audience giving you 
all that love. But that only lasts two hours a night. 
The necd for a totally fulfilling relationship outside 
my work is most important to me.” 
PROFILE: Her need to create is compelling. The 
word “entertainer” hardly begins to describe her many 
talents. She moves from one medium to another with 
case and competence to satisfy her unusually strong 


creative drives, Yet a genuine warmth and feeling for 
people comes through in everything she docs. 


SCOTCH: Dewar's “White Label” 


(Pronounced Do-ers “White Label") 


BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY + 


Authentic. there are more than a thousand ways 
to blend whiskies in Scotland, but few are authentic enough 
for Dewar's “White Label." The quality standards we set 
down in 1846 have never varied. Into each drop go only 
the finest whiskies from the Highlands, the Lowlands, the 


шц. Dewar's never varies. 


93 


PLAYBOY 


94 


period right after my marriage was a hard 
one for me, 100, Previously, I had experi- 
enced all kinds of relationships —roughly. 
100 with mcn, as well as some with 
women. I considered myself an exper 
menter. Probably because ] was pro- 
gramed for relationships with men, I 
became involved with a couple of gay 
men after the divorce. Then I met a 
та she followed me around for 
a long time, I was too frightened to take 
the step. I just had a strange fce 
thing very important was happen 
was very kind and spent a lot of time 
allaying my fears—and, after a while, I 
fell in love with her. We stayed together 
for five years. Tt was during that period 
that I realized my relationsl i 
women were not experimental, they were 
serious. 1 felt as if 1 were no longer on 
ien soil—as if I were at home. 
PLAYBOY: When you came out, what ki 
of reaction did you get from your far 
and friends? 

DAVIS: I've always had а very honest rela- 
tionship with my family, and they took it 
very casually. My friends were part of the 
counterculture, and th: tion was, 
"Anything you do is cool.” The men I 
knew thought it was a phase, that I'd get 
over it. Certainly, I'd go back to men 
eventually, because weren't men supe- 
rior? But I didn’t, because they weren't. 
I don't really hate individual men; I just 
think that men should go someplace else 
and do their thing, preferably together, 
and 1саус us women alone for а wh 
But nobody gave me too much trouble 
about coming out. I've been more privi- 
leged than most gay people; I probably 
hassled myself more than anyone else did. 
PLAYBOY: In past ycars, homosexuals have 
been subjected to a great deal of harass- 
ment by the police. Do you sec any lessen- 
ing of that type of persecution? 

Perry: There are areas in which stride 
have been made, where we're not har- 
assed. In isco, for instance, the 
chief of police finally decided it was 


men to hassle the clientele in gay bars. In 
Los Angeles, we're still harassed by a 
chief of police who claims he's going to 
enforce “all the laws.” But in doing so, he 
only enforces certain laws against homo- 
sexuals, They charge us, for example, 
with “lascivious conduct"—the cover-all 
for anything gay people do in a gay b 
1f 1 put my hand on your shoulder, I can 
be arrested for it. They send policemen 
into gay bars dressed as homosexuals to 
entrap you—get you to buy them a drink 
y can tesi court that you 
tried to pick them up for illicit purposes. 
But if a guy picks up a "broad" in a bar, 
his behavior is admired: Нез a real stud. 

DAVIS: The interesting thing is that 
people don’t get prosecuted for fucking: 
they get prosecuted for talking about 
"That's oppression. People aren't usually 
followed into their bedrooms and arrested 
for an act; they're arrested on street cor- 


ners for things like soliciting or loitering 
for the purpose of whatever. I know 
of several situations where undercover 
couples—posing as swingers—have en 
trapped and arrested patrons of gay 
But things arc improving. On a radio 
show in Buflalo a few months ago, the 
captain of the vice squad was a guest, tak- 
ing phone calls. I got through and asked 
him, "HE you want to get gay people off 
the street, where can they go?” And he 
virtually did an ad for the Mattachine So- 
ciety. That kind of thing would never 
have happened three years ago. We've 
made so much noisc—by getting out on 
the streets, wearing buttons, picket- 
ing—that they have really had to let up 
on us. We've Jearned we haue to make 
noisc—to let everybody know that we're 
around, and that we're not going to take 
shit anymore. 

GOLDSTEIN: Well, in New York City, the 
homosexual has greater rights than the 
heterosexual. It amazes me. We publish 
Gay—the largest homosexual publication 
n the world—in addition to Screw, and 
never been touched legally, never 
assed. It has second-class mailing 
s. Screw, on the other hand, has 
been arrested 120 times and had ail i 
second.cl. 
We're i al courts in Washing- 
ton on that onc. If I want to eat a girl in 
New York, I may get harassed, but if I'm 
gay and I want to get fucked in the ass, 
there won't be a prosecut less I do 
it in front of the United Nations. One 
reason I might like to become bisexual i 
so 1 can get some of the political wallop 
of homosexuals. Homosexuality can de- 
er several million votes. 

VAN DEN HAAG: Homosexuals aren't that 
potent a political force. If they think they 
are, they're deceiving themselves. They 
have simply become very visible, very 


is 


truculent, highly politicized. 
DAVIS: You're probably right; we're not as 
potent a political force as we would like 


to think we are. But we're working on it. 
The major reason I went to the Demo- 
cratic National Convention to plead for 
the gay plan not to change 
never really expected adoption of that 
plank, which advocated not only the re 
peal of sodomy laws in all states but also 
cnsured jobs, housing and public accom- 
modations for gay people. I made that 
speech because I knew there were gay 
people out there at four o'clock in the 
morning, sitting in front of their televi- 
sion sets, waiting to sce one of their own 
people stand up and say, “I'm here, 
you're out there, and I love you, and I 
want you to know that there are people 
who are working their asses off for you 
and for us. You don't have to be as afraid 
as you have be 
SIMON: In assuming that all or most gays 
re really alike—even politically—aren't 
we making a mistake that the straight 
world too often makes with reference to 
the gay world? Unless you operate with a 


sexual metaphysic organizing your entire 
view of the world, other issues begin to 
curve up that potential bloc. One for- 
gets about all the gays who are pro- 
establishment, extremely conservative, 
hawks, racists—cven sexists. 

PERRY: Whitt you say is true, of course, but 
as far as poli concerned, the homo- 
sexual community is, in effect, a bloc. 
And we can deliver the vote, too; four 
years ago, we elected a councilman in the 
Hollywood district, which is really Los 
Angeles’ gay ghetto—if we have onc. Sud- 
denly, the politicians have realized that 
gay people vote, too; they all want to talk 
to us. We're making progress. But the Les- 
bians haven’: formed a significant bloc 
the way male homosexuals have. 

DODSON- TI y men, for a long 
time, have been fighting the whole sexual 
revolution singlehandedly. "They've been 
leading the way and doing a lot of front- 
line action to establish homosexuality 
a valid life style. Sexual liberation, gay 
liberation and women’s liberation are all 
hooked up for me. It’s ridiculous to say 
heterosexual marital sex is the only prop- 
er and legal sex. 

POMEROY: You'rc right, of coursc. Dut ou 
prohibitions about. homosexuality—par- 
ticularly male homosexuality—go back 
2500 years or more. They're deeply em- 
bedded in the Judeo-Christian tradition. 
VAN DEN HAAG: Yes, and because of that, 
I find it very hard to understand, Mr. 
Perry, how you can reconcile your гє 
gious beliels as Christian minister. 
with your justification of homosexuality, 
which is opposed by Christian Scriptures. 
PERRY: Why shouldn't God care about ho- 
mosexuals? It’s very easy to reconcile my 
Christianity with my homosexuality. Can 
we actually believe that Christ who rec- 
ognized the human need for mortal love 
and its physical fulfillment, as well as his 
c love—can ask that legions of 
homosexuals either live a life of celibacy 
or face a life of damnation? Not the 
Christ 1 know! It was just this kind of 
attitude that made me start our church. 
One day I prayed: “Heavenly Father, if 
you want to see a church start as ап out- 
reach in our community, just let me know 
when.” And that still small yoice in the 
mind said, “Now.” Four years ago, I took 
an ad in the Los Angeles gay newspaper 

The Advocate, announcing my new m 
istry. We've now got around 15,000 mem- 


bers, including a synagogue consisting of 
60 gay Jews. 
PLAYBOY: What is the life style of a homo- 


sexual couple today? The traditional 
concept is that its partners, like those in 
heterosexual marriage, take masculine 
and feminine roles. 

RIMMER: The homosexual couples I've 
known tend to act out the monogamous 
relationship. They're very straight in that 
respect. I have a very good homosexual 
friend in Boston who, as the man in his 
relationship, provides the income. The 
other guy, who is the woman, does all the 


The Roppers Man. 
He pays a pretty small ei for alot of attention. 


The ЖҮРЕ man has that flair. He likes to look good. And he likes 
to be noticed. But only in the right way. 

He'd pay $30 for slacks if he had to. But he doesn't. Because 
Rappers slacks, jeans and shirts have the look, the fit and the quality he 
wants without costing an arm and a leg. 

If you believe there's a limit to how much o man should pay for 
good-looking, well-tailored clothes, maybe you're a Rappers man. 

Ask for them where you buy your clothes. 


“Slacks anly $12-$18. Long sleeve dress and sport shirts $7-$10. 


roduct of Washington peat) Соту 
А A Boon of КОР m 
Nashville. Tennessee 


PLAYBOY 


96 


cooking and housekeeping. He's not espe- 
cially effeminate in appearance, but he 
es that female role. I don't know 
enough about homosexual relationships, 
though, to say whether there is new liber- 
ation in that type of situation. 

POMEROY: Ihe dominant/passive male 
tnership, or the butch/femme female 
pairing, was always something of a false 
stereotype. In our studies, we estimated 
that only five percent of Lesbians were 
butch—obviously homosexual; and about 
cent of the males were obviously 
te. 

DAVIS: Why isn't it possible for a strong 
woman simply to be a suong woman? 
Why does she have to be a butch? In my 
present relationship, neither one of us is 
really the butch or the femme. So my 
lover wears her hair shorter than mine; 
what does that mean? When we fight, I 
scream just as loud as she does. We both 
depend on each other; we both tke care 
of cach other. I suppose some of the old 
butch/femme relations! exist, but 
their impact is diminishing. Women's 
liberation has donc a tremendous amount 
to strengthen women's selfimage, to 
make us realize that it's OK to be strong 
as well as to be weak. 

PERRY: Yes, things are radically changing, 
even in the gay community. Words like 
butch and femme are going by the way- 
side. And Lesbian organizations talk 
more and more about the decline of the 
stereotype of the dinosaur dyke. 


PLAYBOY: How do homosexual men relate 
to homosexual women? Is there coopera- 


tion between gay men and Lesbians? 
DAVIS: Gay women generally feel ambiv- 
ent about gay men. There's a tremen- 
dous split in the movement, because gay 
men are still men and gay women are still. 
women, Therefore, рау men are oppres- 
sive to gay women. For years we've been 
doing the shit work—serving the collec, 
organizing, typing. At this point in the 
development of the movement, it's im- 
ns to be together. 
Women have bee: ienated from one 
another for so long: vying for men, jeal- 
ously scratching out their place in the 
world—which was only in the shadow of 
some man anyway. Lesbians are breaking 
through that alienation and are learning 
to love cach other and love themselves as 
strong individuals. That's the importance 
of separatism. 
PERRY: I don't see it that way. In organiza- 
tions like our church, we have both gay 
men and gay women getting it together, 
aying, "All gay people are good." And 
we're working together to fight discrimi- 
nation. Recently, a woman was fired [rom 
a job in a large Los Angeles hospital be- 
cause she was a Lesbian. She made the 
g to a new employee, 
ntroducing herself as president of a Les- 
bian organization, the Daughters of Bil 
tis, and saying: “We're a group of women 
working for women’s rights. If you're gay, 


mistake of g 


the organization's for you, and even 
you're not, we'd like for you to get in- 
volved with us.” The new employee be- 
came hysterical, rushed to the personnel 
department to report the incident and 
the Lesbian was fired. Then she came to 
the crisis center at our church. When I 
heard the story, 1 took the woman and 
her lover to the hespital’s union steward 
and suggested that she be rehire We 
wouldn't want to bring 500 homosexuals 
down around the emergency ward, with 
all those pregnant mothers trying to get 
in to have their babies, would we?" I said. 
Three days later, she was rehired. We 
didn't even have to suc. 

DAVIS: I suppose it's important that gay 
women and gay men should present a 
united front to straight people. But I'm 
sort of a moderate separatist. I prefer 
working with women. As a matter of fact, 
that position made me nervous about par- 
pating in а panel appearing in a mag- 
azine like rLAYnov. T know most of your 
read is male, and much of what I 
think the magazine stands for—or seems 
to—is still very sexist. But I also real- 
ize that there are women who read 
PLAYBOY, even if they pick it up at their 
doctor's office. And these are the women 
T want to talk to. I'll use any vehicle I 
can. I know this article won't reach organ- 
ized Lesbians, but it may reach some 
women—even one who might look at 
herself more clearly because of i 
E. KRONHAUSEN: I am really appalled by 
your sex hostility, Miss Davis. The Kind. 
" philosophy you're 
advocating smacks to me far too much of 
the same argument white racists are us- 
ng to keep blacks and whites separated. 
Unfortunately, some of the black-power 
people are using the same argument 
to keep bi ue from 
white society. 


m isn’t any better than 
male chauvinism. Perhaps it's more un 
derstandable and excusable, because both 
blacks and women have for so long been 
subject to prejudice and oppression. Still, 
what we need is not more apartheid be- 
tween the sexes or the races but more 
togetherness, more understanding, more 
cooperation and, if 1 may use that much- 
abused word in tliis context, more love. 
DAVIS: 1 certainly agree with the ideal 
you set forth. But we can achieve togeth. 
erness, understanding, cooperation and 
so forth only if we have equal power. 


Women aren't starting with the same 
power base as men. Until we have that 
power base, which I believe can be 


achieved only through separatism, we 
aren't going to be able to reach those 
goals. I'm not interested in making you or 
any other man comfortable with my phi- 
losophy. As a matter of fact, a little bit of 
discomfort might help you to analyze the 
situation more clearly 

PLAYBOY: We've heard that male homosex- 


uals are afraid to grant Lesbians equal 
power in the gay movement. Is that truc? 
PERRY: That's absurd. Most male homo- 
sexuals don't look at a gay woman as а 
threat. They don’t even fear straight 
women. As a gay, youre more liberated 
ith the opposite sex. You don't look at 
a woman as a sex object, and she knows 
I've yet to meet a woman who wouldn't 


sit down with a gay man and talk about 
mate sex feelings, such as her 


her most 
reactions to other individuals—because 
you have removed that block, that fear 
that you're not sincere, that you're only 
trying to get her into the bedroom. 
PLAYBOY: There is an element in the male 
homosexual community that has nothing 
to do with women even as friends: the 
so-called rough trade, which seems to be 
bound together by a kind of sadon 
ochistic machismo, Is that kind of be- 
havior on the increase, Mr. Perry? 

PERRY: I don't think so. Only a small per- 
centage of the gay community has ever 
been into sadomasochistic role playing. 
with one the master and the other the 
slave. I don’t knock rough trade, but I 
don't particularly want to try it. I'm a 
lover, not a fighter. Do you hear me, 
Muhammad Ali? 

SIMON: Most biker types hang around sa- 
loons called leather bars, but my feeling 
bout these places—and you can find 
them in virtually every large city—is that 
only a small part of their clientele is into 
S and M in any real sense. For most 
customers, the attraction is the exagger 
ated sense of masculinity that one finds 
there, a kind of “butchier than thou” at- 
mosphere. And most of this I would inter- 
pret as a reasonable reaction to a world 
that refuses to see the essentially mascu 
line characteristics of most male gays. 
PERRY: For years, I was so paranoid that I 
thought everybody who went to leather 
s carried whips. I was afraid to walk 
into those places; thought I'd be hand- 
culfed and roped before I could move 
‘ound. But recently, the president of a 
bike club who had become part of our 
church took me around to 2 number of 
lcather bars. And it was cool. Of course, 
some of the people who hang out there 
re looking for others who enjoy Sand M. 
Tve learned that they have signals, at 
least on the West Coast. If they're an 
they wear keys on the left-hand side of 
their belts. If they're an M—or want a 
slave relationship—they wear keys on the 
right-hand side, That's not my thing, but 
1 like the bars; if it appeals to them, 
thats fine. 

DAVIS: All I can say about S and M is that 
if my lover came to me and suggested 
usinga whip, I'd listen to what she had to 
say, and then say, "Со find somebody clse 
to whip. Have a good time. But come 
near me with that fucking thing and I'll 
break your arm." 

. KRONHAUSEN: Homosexuals, of course, 
haven't got any monopoly on sadomas- 
ochism. I remember once in France, in 2 


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PLAYBOY 


groupsex scene, I was actually having a 
very good time in bed, All of a sudden, I 
felt a lighted cigarette on my leg. I didn't 
even know this guy was coming up be- 
hind me. He happened to be a member of 
the French Assembly and he was getting 
his kicks out of hearing people scream. I 
was livid. I really told him off. 
GOLDSTEIN: But you know, that kind of 
thing really turns some people on. H sex- 
ual life styles could be merchandised the 
way stocks are, I'd say $ and M is a growth 
stock, I can sce IBM and LT. & T. mov- 
ing into S and M. How's that for a bowl 
of alphabet soup? Anyhow, there's no 
doubt that S and M scems to be an in- 
creasingly popular arca. 

POMEROY: Where are your data? I don't 
know of any such data, and I don't think 
you do, either. About all we know is that 
in the and M literature sold 
more than any other kind in the under- 
thecounter bookstores. 

GOLDSTEIN: Well, it’s over the counter now. 
n only go by the classified and display 
advertisements that come across my desk 
to be published in Screw. That's a pretty 
good barometer. For example, there «re 
ements placed by masseuses 
offering S and M—often described as 
"English culture"- than. for any other 
sexual activity. In the five years since 
Screw started, the growth of S and M has 
been phenomenal. 

VAN DEN HAAG: I think we cin say that 
such behavior—or at least its symbol- 
ism is somewhat more visible. But that. 
may merely indicate that we are more 


tolerant toward the euphemisms for 
debasement. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Sadism and masochism 


can be traced to militarism during the 
past three decades: World War Two, 
Korea, inam. 5 and M has long been 
popular in England —hence the phrase 
English culture—cspecially in the mili- 
istic, sexually segregated system of the 
so-called public schools, A lot of sidomas- 
ochism—like spanking and caning—is 
built right into the educational system. 
MONEY: That's true, but 1 disagree with 
Al that sadomasochism's more prevalent 
now: it’s just more talked about. It's al- 
ways been with us. We're basically а vio- 
lent people. That comes out in the way 
people beat up their wives and husbands 
and children. This phenomenon isn't al- 
ways accompanied by sexual arousal, but 
those who can de 
structively hurtful way, with those who 
are emotionally closest to them, are usual- 
ly not very far away from being able to 
et an orgasm out of it. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: We've talked to many mil- 
itary men who said that they practically 
did have orgasms while bombing enemy 
territory. And that they'd rather do that 
than have a woman. 

GOLDSTEIN: When I was writing an article 
on Monique Van Cleef, the famous sadist 


who was thrown out of New Jersey and 
now operates in The Hague, 1 went 
through a George Plimpton number. She 
put me in a pillory and spanked me. 
Despite my 1 curiosity, I found out 
that I didn’t like it. I didn't get a hard- 
on. 1 was very relieved. 

DODSON: The cliché image of sadomas- 
ochism is one of chains, whips, leather, 
nes and brutality, But that isn't 
ly all about. S and M is how 
one another in everyday life. 
The S and М in an average marriage is 
overwhelming. Sexually, the man is usu- 
ally the sadist and the woman the mas- 
ochist. For instance, a man is dutifully 
doing foreplay for his wife: He's got the 
wrong stroke, he’s doing it too hard. his 
finger is dry and it’s really uncomforta- 
ble. But she can't say anything, because 
UI hurt his feelings; he'll think he’s not 
а good lover, and she must always protect 
his ego. If she does say something, he'll 
lose his erection. Usually, she suffers si 
lently, but the next day, perhaps, she'll 
have her revenge by accidentally throw- 
ing out a pile of important. papers, and. 
the $ and M is reversed. Who's Afraid of 
Virginia Woolf? is a perfect example of 
everyday $ and M. 

E. KRONHAUSEN: In the nse, that’s 
true, of course, Betty. hu- 
man. But if we confine ourselves to phys- 
ical manifestations of sadomasochism, I 
wouldn't criticize anyone for engaging in 
it if he did it within such limits thar no- 
body got hurt seriously and both pa 
ners agreed to it in advance. But often 
things can easily get out of hand. What 
turns us olf is that, as psychologists, we 
realize what's behind this kind of be- 
hayior: the inability 10 enjoy, indulge and 
develop one's own healthy capacity for 
sensuality, which is almost limitless. 
POMEROY: I don’t see sadomasochism that 
way. A great deal of it is very loving be- 
havior, im the specifically sexual sense 
that adherents enjoy inilicting or receiv 
ing pain in a sexual situation. I've known 
many sadomasochi whose behavior 
shows itself as very tender, loving and 
giving. I'm excluding extreme acts of vio. 
lence, of course, But in the ordinary 
tion, it’s the victim—the masochist—who 
is controlling the action. Нез determi 
ng how much pain is inflicted upon 
himself. Some years back at the Kinsey 
Institute, we were filming for our archives 
two homosexua 
couple. The sadist hı 
asochist and tied him up: he'd burued 
his nipples with a lighted cigarette. The 
masochist was writhing around in pain. 
Then the sadist took a lighted candle 
let the hot wax drop onto his p. 
penis and testes, sending him 
oxysms of anguish. But all the time, the 
sadist was carefully watching the lace of 
the masochist. When he saw that it was 
just too much to be: 
candle up and give the wax a chance to 


r, he would raise the 


cool. It suddenly dawned on me that the 
masochist was almost literally controlling 
the sadist’s hand. When they were fin- 
ished, I asked who was in charge. Both 
answered that, of course, the masochist 
was. They had it straight. 

VAN DEN HAAG: This is ‘much too simple— 
as is most of the Kinsey stuff. The 
true sadist isn't terribly interested in 
torturing a masochist. He's interested in 
torturing someone who hates it, who 
actually suffers. 

SIMON: True, but very few people have 
extreme commitments to S and М with 
lence and torture. In most 
ng not with outrageous 
acts of violence but with relatively mild, 
theatrical charades organized around the 


themes of dominance and submission. 
And in that respect, the behavior resem- 
in rather 


bles much that we might find, 
diluted form, in very conventio 
relationships. There are prob 
of sadism, masochism or both in the sex- 
ual activity we all engage in. 
GOLDSTEIN: The psychological aspects of 
S and M fascinate me. When I was do- 
ing the story on Monique Van Cleef, I 
noticed chat the people she treated were 
inevitably the most successful, the most in- 
fluential, the most important members of 
society. And I wondered whether these 
powerful people felt such a weight of 
guilt that they, in turn, wanted to be 
bused. I had the image of an Ingmar 
Bergman film, with a line of people wend- 
ing th 
cach person whipping the person. 
of him. Sort of a La Ronde of mutual ex- 
ploitation, The people wiclding autho 
ad to pay a Monique to beat them up. 
1 пу to empathize with sexual cxpc- 
riences, but 1 can't understand $ and М. 
If some woman walked on my chest with 
high-heeled shoes, would I enjoy it? No 
way. Besides, it would leave pockmarks. 
Religion is another factor. One day 
while I was visiting Monique, the person 
in the pillory was an elderly Catholic 
priest. He had never been touched by a 
woman, yet he had fought all his life 
against his yearning to masturbate and 
his desire for a woman. At the age of 62, 
he came to Monique's house, and she 
jerked him off while whipping him. He 
let me take photos of this even 
as 1 didn’t show his face. Well, 
frightening. I didn't know which was the 
greater injustice: this man’s belief 
Catholicism or the crack of the whip on 
his skin, In fact, in che midst of orgasm, 
he screamed, “Oh, my God! Oh, Jesus 
Christ! Fm coming! I'm coming" in 


ї way up some steep incline, 


goose bumps thinking abour i 
those who are into whipping, humiliat- 
ing bondage and that sort of thing are 
probably the tue Catholics, because 
they accompany their sexuality with so 
much рай 


(continued on page 192) 


WHAT SORT OF MAN READS PLAYBOY? 


A young man on a direct course to success. He may be a college man studying oceanography or 
architecture. Or a postgrad launching a promising career. Either way, he always finds time to relax 
with a pretty companion. As well as with his favorite magazine. Fact: PLAYBOY is read by 73.4% of 
all men in college and half of all recent college grads. Want to educate this bright young market 
about your product? Be smart. Advertise it in PLAYBOY. (Sources: N.E.A.S. and 1973 Simmons.) 


New York + Chicago + Detroit * Los Angeles * San Francisco * Atlanta * London + Tokyo 


CALLOWAY’ 
CLIMB 


fiction By PETER 1. SANDBERG 


there on the mountain, 
johnson felt for the first time 
the humiliation of betrayal 


THE NORTH FACE of the mountain was still in shadow at mid- 
morning and the lead boys yellow parka showed brightly 
against it as a small and now immobile sun. He stood in web 
stirrups suspended from pitons he had finally managed to drive 
о the granite roof of an overhang that jutted 15 fect out 
from a point almost at the periect center of the steep 2000-foor 
wall, so that he stood suspended over 1000 feet of space. For two 
hours, Nils Johnson, a half mile distant at timber line, had 
watched through his binoculars the agonizing progress of the 
climb and he knew now, had known for many minutes, that 
this lead boy was going to fall. 

The second boy seemed to know it, too. Less conspicuous in 
k-blue parka, he sat face out, legs dangling from a small 
ledge 60 fect below and 30 fect west of the center of the over- 
hang, holding tightly in his gloved hands and across the small 
of his back the rope that linked him with his companion. 
Through Johnson's binoculars the rope was а taut golden 
cable that ran on a bold diagonal up Irom the second boy's 
gloved left hand through four equally spaced pitons, then 
through a fifth piron driven into a crack in the angle formed by 
the wall and the overhang. From this final protective piton, the 
rope went out to the waist of the lead boy, around which it had 
been passed three times and secured with a bowline knot. 

‘The boy continued to stand immobile in his stirrups. His 
head was dose under the roof of the overhang, bent slighty, 
and he held on to the upper quarter of one of the stirrups with 
his left hand and kept his balled right fist jammed into a rack 
that began several feet from the lip of the overhang itself. Oc 
casionally, his companion on the ledge below would crane his 
neck to follow the diagonal of the golden rope, but he would 
not look, Johnson observed, in that direction for long. It was as 
if he did not wish ro witness the accident that seemed immi- 
nent, as if he were not sure of the soundness of the pitons the 
lead boy had placed (and upon which the lead boy's life would 
depend in the event of a fall) nor of his own ability to handle 
the rope skillfully. 

Johnson had two sons, at home in Denver now. His older 
son, Tommy, was 12: only a few years younger, he guessed, than 
these two boys who for two days had been inching their way up 
the steep north face. His wile, Elizabeth, had been the first to 
notice them from the camp johnson had established beside the 
clear stream below the first gentle rise of the mountain. It had. 


been his idea, which he had carried 
move their camp to the bleak terra 
which he might better observe the 
making. 

The guidebook evaluated the climb as moderately difficult, 
ranging on the Sierra Club scale from 5.6 to 58, with several 
ches, including the central overhang, requiring the direct 
id of stirrups and ranging in difficulty from AI to A4. John- 
son remembered it as a long, sometimes arduous climb, steep 
and very exposed. When he had donc it a decade carlier, it had 
been customary to allow two days for the ascent, bivouacking. 
on the arca above the overhang; but in the years since then, 
numerous ropes of two had completed the wall in a single 

"The two boys who were attempting the climb now had not 
managed to reach the overhang in their first day, had spent 
what Johnson knew must have been a miserably uncomfortable 
night on the small ledge from which the boy in blue now payed 
out the rope. He had guessed from the poor time they were 

aking. their long delays and awkward movements on the wall, 
that they were too inexperienced, too wary to succeed; and he 
had been surprised this morning when, instead of roping down 
the face, they had prepared to climb the overhang, which, once 
passed, would cut off their retreat, The first 1000 fect of the 
wall were the least complex, the central overhang was a reason- 
ably straightforward technical problem, and it was only in the 
final 1000 fect that the climb became rigorous in its demands. 

Johnson put the binoculars in his lap for a moment, closed 
his eyes, realigned his back against a rough concavity of sun- 
warmed stone behind him. He thought he knew what that lead. 
boy was feeling: how he had reached or nearly reached the lim- 
its of skill and. perhaps, of nerve: how his ability to act, to go 
оп or go back, was suspended now as he was suspended ov 
1000 feet of space; how a seven-sixteenths-inch-diameter rope, 

ing as it did through a handful of pitons, was his umbilical 
link with his companion, upon whose courage and skill as 

у life would depend, should he fall in what would 
have to be his attempt, finally, to advance or rcucat. 

1 should have gotten my butt over there, Johnson thought. 1 
might have been able to call them down. 

But she, whose bitterness, like a stream that had run deep un- 
derground for years and had begun to rise and threaten the 
surface of their life together, would, he knew, have used his 


ut against her will, to. 
at timber line from 
tempt the boys were 


PHOTOGRAPHY EY GUS GREGORY 


101 


PLAYBOY 


102 


concern for the boys against him, would 
have managed to manipulate it toward 
something sentimental with which she 
then would gently mock him as one more 
coupon torn from her book of payment 
for what had been his recent and disap- 
pointing infidelities. 

He'll make a move out of his stirrups. 
He'll try to clear the overhang, but he’s 
much too far back. If he does jall, and 
that last piton pulls, or his friend panics, 
or ihe belay is rigged poorly. . . . 

Then he knew she was coming to join 
him, heard her deliberately dumsy-footed 
approach as she came up across the rock- 
strewn slope from the last line of stunted 
firs beside which he had stubbornly car- 
ried out last night his erecting of their 
tent, Aware he admired grace, she kicked 
stones from her path with the toes of 
her climbing shoes, stood over him final 
ly, looking down, her face even more at- 
in its maturity, he thought, than 
it had been when, years ago now, he had 
been a young, cocksure instructor of Eng 
lish, and she, with an impassivity that had 
captured him, had led half a stadium in 
cheers for the Colorado football team. 
She wore her high-cut faded Levi shorts 
and scarlet long-sleeved jersey well, for 
she had scrupulously maintained her fig- 
ure and even through her pregnancies 
had gained so little weight that Johnson 
had wondered since if this might account 
for the slightness of his sons. Her brown 
hair was Tongs She had arranged it this 
morning into a ponytail that spilled 
across her left shoulder, down the front of 
her jersey almost to her waist. She had, in 
recent months, left off wearing a bra, an 
emblem, he knew, of her liberation not 
from men in gencral—she had not yet 
pursued her instincts that far—but from 
him in particular. Her breasts were well 
shaped, but her nipples were large and it 
embarrassed him to sce where they jutted 


against the fabric of her shirt. 
^I thought we had a date this morn- 


ing,” she said. Her yoice was pleasant and 
only one long familiar with it would have 
detected the slight vehicle of contempt 
upon which it rode. 

“ was worried about those boys," he re- 
plicd. He made an effort to stand. 

"Don't get up,” she told him. “ 
to sit in the sun for a while. 
aged to reach the tent.” 

“Did you warm up the eggs?" 

“Late them cold. Your fire was out.” 
recent months, she had become deft with 
the apparently innocuous phrase, and 
this both amused and troubled him, for 
until now, the ironies of their relation- 
ship had been his to define. 

“Lool he said. He handed her the 
binoculars. With a studied lack of inter- 
est, she took them, making the adjust- 
ments necessary to adapt the lenses to her 
perfect sight. 

“бо; 


In 


“So he's been there too long. Almost 
halfan hour.” 


“Well,” she said, laughing as she re- 
turned the glasses. “What do you want to 
do—go up and bring him down in your 
weight-trained arms?” 

“It won't be funny if he falls.” 

“I wasn’t implying that it would.” 

“I don't think the other boy is very 
well experienced: He handles the rope 
awkwardly. 

“Really. 

“Look, if all you can do is be bitchy,” 
he bristled, “why don't you go back to the 
tent?" 

“Because, Nils, Гус been in the tent all 
morning.” Then, as if sensing that he 
could become angry and end by his 
lence her pleasure in tormenting him, she 
added: “Somebody's taken the place we 
had by the stream. 

"Oh?" he said. “Who?” 

“I haven't the slightest idea. I saw the 
smoke from his fire this morning. He has 
а small blue tent, an orange parka and 
moves nicely. J think he's alone, 

“Is he a climber?" 

“I don't know.” 

“Are you sure he's alone?” 

“Yes. Quite. 

This range of mountains was remote 
and the season was still carly, but the area 
was popular with climbers and Johnson, 
who had come here in what had proved so 
far a futile effort to mend his relationship 
with her and—though he had not told 
her this—to revisit scenes of his сагісг 
and more successful climbing days, was 
not surprised that others had come here, 
too. He wore new steelrimmed spect: 
cles, a stylish departure from his cus- 
tomary horn-rims. When he raised the 
binoculars now, he found they had lost 
clarity from her adjustments and he had 
to make adjustments of his own. 

The lead boy, he observed finally, had 
driven yet another piton into the roof of 
the overhang, close to its outer edge, had 
clipped a stirrup into it and was testing 
the mtegrity of this stirrup now with his 
hit hand, yanking its webbing back and 
forth. Then, slowly and awkwardly, he 
transferred his weight from the first and 
second of the web stirrups to the second 
and third, 

“Good.” Johnson breathed 
“Good. Now you've got it. Now get up 
and over before you lose your nerve. 

“Is that what happened to you this 
morning?” she asked lightly. 

“Betts, I told you; 1 was worried about 
them.” 

“Wouldn't it be better to assume they 
know what they're doing?” 

“I don't think they do know.” 

“We were going to make love, I think,” 
she said. “Then have breakfast.” 

She pulled the jersey over her head, 
folded it and put it on the rough ground 
beside her. 


hard. 


По you think that's smart if other 
people are around?” he remarked. 

“Don't tell me you care.” 

“Don't you?” 

“Not really. No.” 

He glanced instinctively in the direc- 
tion from which the stranger she had 
mentioned might appear. 

“You used to be modest,” he said. “I re- 
member that from the start, When we had 
our first apartment, that depressing place 
downtown, Га tell you to take things off 
during the day, remember that? And you 
wouldn't do it. You used to get angry as 
hel 


ve changed. I'd do it now, but you 
sk.” 

“I still like the way you look. You know 
that. It's just been so bloody long —” 

“I know what you're going to say," she 
said. “All of your clever arguments about 
the value of fucking around, and I really 
a't want to hear them again, all right?" 
ighed. “1 thought we were going to 


don 


Were you willing to let it be any- 
ng else? 

1 don't know. Maybe not. But I think 
T was willing to try last night, and again 
this morning, if you had stayed around, if 
you'd been half as keen about me as you 
were about those damn boys." 

He started to defer self, but his 
position seemed hopeless and he lay back 
against the concavity of stone. She knelt 
before him, aware, he knew, that the sight 
of her familiar breasts unconcealed in this 
new cnvironment could still arouse him, 

"I'm not one of your pretty coeds” she 
said. “But I do fecl like screwing—accord- 
ing to Plan A of our reconciliation—and 
as far as 1 know, except for whoever that 
is by the stream, you're the only man 
around.” 

“Well, go ahead, then, 
yourself." 

“Thank you, Nils. ГИ do that. Just try 
tobe up toit, all right? 
T usually am, aren't 1 

“Oh, yes. You're very big i 
tion department. 

He could not help laughing, but she 
was not amused and prepared him with a 
masculine detachment that, along with 
her coarseness, was not characteristic of 
her. 

“Whatever you think, I still love you,” 
he tried to say, touched by this sentiment 
as she arranged herself over him. 
at's not a very big deal for me right 


7 he said, "Help 


the erec 


"I've said I was sorry. I've told you it 
was an empty, meaningless thing; that it 
didn't work out." 
I've heard that before.” 

“Well, why don't you pay me back, 
then? So we can forget it and be civil 


» 
5 
м 
NY 
N 
À 
N 


- tell me all about yourself." 


“You seem very relaxed about rape . . 


103 


PLAYBOY 


again? Why don't you have an affair of 
your ownz" 

“Maybe I will, Nil 

“I think it would make a lot of sense. I 
really do.” He had argued endlessly with 
her that they should accept what had 
become the new morality: relieve them- 
selves of some of the burdens of a con- 
fining and fixed relationship, with its 
absurd prerogatives of jealousy. He had 
buttressed his persuasions with his cus- 
tomary and careful logic, but she had sur- 
rendered nothing to him, and his own 
attempts to enter a more exciting life that 
seemed increasingly to be passing them 
by had failed so far partly, he knew, be- 
cause of her stubborn refusal to join him, 
at least in spirit. In this way, it had come 
to pass that he lived in a state of perpet- 
ual agitation that he had with wretched 
poor luck been born, as he saw it, a dec- 
ade too soon, 

“My students tell me thar marriage is 
quaint.” he said. 

"Keep still, will you,” she told him. 

Halfheartedly, he took her breasts in 
his hands. He felt too exposed here on 
this open upslope of rock and was dis- 
tracted by the possibility that the man 
who was camped by the stream might 
wander up this way and find them copu- 
lating. The concern surprised him, for he 
had not suspected until now that in such 
matters he might be shy; he could not re- 
member that they had ever made love in 
the open before. 

“Jesus,” she said. She was moving rap- 
idly now. 

Gently, he put his hands on her. 

"God, I hate you,” she said. “7 hate 
you, Nils." 

She had begun the first of her cries 
when beyond the arc of her shoulder, 
through the sweet strands of her hair that 
moved in a soft breeze (as clearly as if his 
vision were still somehow aided but no 
longer magnified by the binoculars), a 
tiny yellow dot began its fall from the 
near center of the vast north face of the 
mountain. It fell spasmodically as. in suc- 
cession, each of the pitons held for a sec 
‘ond or two, then sprang from the cracks 
into which they had been driven, the tiny 
yellow dot swinging finally like the pen- 
dulum of a clock back and forth across 
the wall until, after what seemed a long 
time, it hung motionless by a golden 
thread about 70 feet below the ledge 
upon which, Johnson knew, a boy in a 
dark-blue parka held whatever was left of 
the life of his friend, desperately, in his 
two gloved hand: 

“Betts,” he whispered in fright as she 
relaxed at last against him. “That lead 
boy fell.” 


She had wanted to go at once for the as- 
sistance of the man who had taken their 
campsite by the stream, but Johnson had 
argued against it. Now, scarcely three 
hours later and already 400 feet up the 


104 standard north face route, he was confi- 


dent his decision had been best, Шаг an 
hour or more could have been lost in at 
tracting the help of a man neither he nor 
Elizabeth could be sure was a mountain- 
eer. He moved up yet another lead 
toward the two boys. The boy in blue was 
still seated on the ledge, facing out, hold- 
ing the rope in his hands, across the small 
of his back; the rope plunged over the 
edge of the ledge, taut to the place where, 
about 70 feet below, the boy in yellow was 
suspended from it as motionless as if he 
had been hanged. Johnson reflected that, 
in addition to the incessant, throbbing 
anxiety he felt for these young boys, he 
also felt a guilty pride in his ability—even 
after the erosion of years—to manage such 
a difficult climb. And he felt, too, a rc- 
lief, surprising in its intensity, that he and 
the woman he had married were joined 
by the rope now as they so often had been 
in their early years together, he lea 
the way, she climbing second behind 

"The sun was on the wall, but the rock 
under Johnson's hands still felt cool; a 
warm, westerly breeze gentled against the 
right side of his face. He made his moves 
precisely and out of 20 years’ experience, 
studying through his steel-rimmed specta- 
cles that portion of the roure that lay 
rectly above him, finding and testing his 
holds, balancing up from onc to the next, 
placing his pitons with care and at some- 
what longer intervals than he would have 
liked, for he had not expected to do this 
extensive a climb and had packed in only 
a small amount of gear. 

She stood easily on her belay stance 100 
feet below him now, anchored to the wall, 
paying the rope to him as he climbed. Un. 
like him, she had never been afraid of 
high places, had never had to overcome 
the kind of terror he had felt in his first 
year. Since they had begun their ascent to 
assist the two boys. she had sustained an 
attitude toward him that was crisp, effi 
cient and yielded nothing of what he 
hoped might be her willingness to forget, 
at least for a while, what had been their 
recent past. 

“Twenty feet!” he heard her call. 

“АП right!” he answered. His heart 
beat rapidly. 

He had given up calling to the boy in 
blue above him. Either he had been too 
stunned by the accident or his mouth was 
100 cotton dry to answer. Apparently, he 
had not tied the rope off to the anchor 
piton behind him as he should have done 
by now in order to free his hands. John- 
son knew how terrible that weight could 
be and wondered if the belay had been 
rigged properly: In whatever fashion it 
had been rigged, at least it had held: but 
the boy in yellow had showed no sign of 
consciousness and Johnson was reluctant 
to think what that might mean. Although 
he had participated in many rescues, seen 
numerous deaths, he had never managed 
to quite make his own attitude one of 
protective fatalism that most of his col- 
leagues shared, that was also shared by 


Elizabeth, whose toughness he had often 
envied, 

He found a suitable position on the 
wall, anchored himself and turned to face 
out. From here he could see the falling 
blue green forested slope of the mountain 
and the distant glinting meander of the 
stream; could watch now, and take in the 
rope, as she climbed toward him. 

She was a natural, a born climber, and 
he knew if she had spent a fraction of the 
time he had in perfecting skills, she might 
have been better than he. He could not 
help feeling proud of her as he watched 
her make her careful, eficient moves 
toward him. It was as if now in their ab- 
sence of affection, she had become a fine- 
ly crafted instrument that he had been 
wise enough, lucky enough, to purchase 
ata time when the demand for her had 
been superficial and his own credit had 
been good. Pausing just long enough to 
retrieve the pitons he had driven, whack- 
ing them loose from their cracks with her 
hammer, dipping them and their cara- 
biners smartly to a loop of rope she had 
draped from her right shoulder to her left 
hip across the scarlet jersey she wore, she 
would glance up along the route, choos- 
ing her holds, her quick, perceptive eyes 
never quite meeting his own. 

“You're climbing beautifully,” he said 
when she reached him. 

“How much longer will it take?” 

"I don't know. A couple of hours, 
maybe. We're making good time.” 

“Has he moved at all?” she asked, 


“What about the other one?” 

“I can't get him to answer. He's proba- 
bly scared to death." 

"We haven't got enough ropes to get 
them down, do we?" 

“We'll rig something." 

He had hoped, as they switched posi- 
tions now, moving gingerly on the steep 
wall, she might return his compliment; 
but she was silent and he adjusted the 
rope where it circled his waist, shifted im- 
patiently the sweatstained straps of the 
small red rucksack he carried and into 
which he had put some sandwiches and 
candy bars, their first-aid kit and exura 
clothing. 

“Want something to eat?” 

“1 can wait," she said. 

“How about some water?” 

“No, thank you.” 

He put his hand on hers where she held. 
the rope in readiness to pay out to him as 
he went. 

“Betts,” he started to say. She looked at 
him. Her eyes were green and they pooled 
now with tears. 

“Don't,” she whispered. 

“L just wanted to say thanks for doing 
this with me. I couldn't have done it 
alone.” And he added, painfully aware 
that he meant it: "There's no one I'd 

(continued on page 263) 


LEE MEREDITH, A PROMINENT FIGURE IN “THE PRODUCERS" AND "THE SUNSHINE BOYS," PLAYS 
OUR LEADING LADY IN THIS HEART- WARMING SHOWBIZ SAGA OF HOW TALENT WILL OUT 


STAR BS HABE 


47TH STREET HOTEL 
(Transients and Permanents) 
Darling Mommy and Daddy, 
Golly! Zowie! New York it 4а great! There axe zillions of casting calls here! Can't wait 
to show thom the reviews o] те as Viola in Central High's production of “Twelfth Night.” 


Love do you all, including darling Uncle Silas, and all my [менн in Dot Moines 
Your loving de 


Frances 


PHOTOGRAPHY GY CARL FISCHER 


Midtown Y.W.C.A. 


Dear Mom and Dad, 
гау, after all these weeks, my finst part! 
Not the lead, and not the Bard, but what the hell! 


Its a very interesting nonspeaking character in a 
пеш work tiled Krinsky Follies.” 
Wish me luck! zb 


Qrankie 


9200.92 8_ 9 


9 
ә | 
ө 
Zi 


TT 
KRINSKY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
Dear Folks, 
buen though the cuddy reviewers didn't mention my name, the audience 
was appreciative, J can tell you! 
Pes Pass (thats Mao) is the most encouraging and friendly boss you 
can imagine. Uncle Silas should not be suggesting unkind motives do him. 
Youns, 
Frankie 


TOWER APARTM 


Dear о/а, 


J'ue been working up a class act for Krinskys neat show, 


Tell Uncle Silas da shoue it. 


Frankie 


MOROCCO THE: 


Dear Mom and Dad, 


Enclosed is the tuition for brother's first year at the seminary. 
IU by do write more often, but don't nag, for Ch 


2 


THE PINES 
Pawling, New York 


Dear Folks, 


Sony 7 missed seeing you on your bip ta New York Rut I was out of tous, 


Gnançoise 


БАЙ, 


ааыа е 

4 Maman et Papa, 
Comme. 
I haue bid adieu ta й of all the glitter and tinsel after a while. 
The duke and I с Доло for a fortnight before departing for the country 
The duke sends л ands. 


Duchess of Gascony 


12 


BY 
ROGGE EIS TESTS or 
YOU WOULD THINK Bruce Frome, physician, 
millionaire and chairman of one of Ameri- 
саз fastest growing health-care corpora- 
tions, would have an easier time finding a 
good doctor than the rest of us. Well, he 
doesn't. The head of Los Angeles-based 
Marvin Health Services has just as much 
trouble finding reliable phys 
one else, Nothing—not his cl 
ence, money, stock options пог persuasi 
manner—seems to give him an advantage 
on drawing first-rate medical men. This 


afternoon for 34-year-old Dr. Frome. After 
all, he is contractually obligated to serve a 
mushrooming patient load through his 
two-year-old medical empire. 


At his plastic office inside Marvin's 
world headquarters on Wilshire Boulevard, 
he explains just how hard it is to find good 
doctors these days: "We've gone through 
a lot of phy n our first couple of 
years, Any time you start а new organiza- 
tion like this, you are bound to get drifters. 
Thirty days after you hire them, you get a 
report back from the state telling you who 
they really are. Then you have to turn 
around and fire еш. Employment agen- 
cies send over physicians who look good 
until we find out they are crooks or quacks. 
Three out of the first 50 doctors we hired 
turned out to have been indicted for Medi- 
care fraud. Reputations don't even mean 
much. I was particularly interested in one 
guy who had been emergency-room chief at 
a local hospital for three years. We were all 
set to usc him until we checked and found 


what's wrong with american 
medicine? not much, except that in a 
Sew places there’s too much, 
in others there’s none at all 
and in the rest етеу the wrong kind 


ILLUSTRATION BY JERRY FODWIL 


PLAYBOY 


nn 


out he had fake medical and narcotics 
licenses, By the time we phoned up to get 
his explanation, the guy had disappeared. 
No one has seen him since. He's probably 
in another state by now.” 

Dr. Frome was one of about 100 doc- 
tors, nurses, hospital administrators, med- 
ical researchers and publichealth experts 
I met during a month-long journey about 
the country in a protracted cffort to an- 
swer a simple question: Why is America, 
blessed with the finest medical schools, 
the most extensive research facilities, the 
largest drug laboratories the best- 
equipped hospitals and the hi, 
doctors, a "second-rate country' 
tribution of health care? That verdict 
doesn't come from Ralph Nader. It's the. 
view of the nation’s ranking public 
health oficial, Dr. Roger О. Egeberg. 
Special Assistant to the Secretary for 
Health Policy of the Department of 
Health, Education and Welfare. Why do 
men in 22 other countries have a higher 
life expectancy than American men? Why 
do our women rank seventh on the world- 
wide female longevity scale. Why is Amer- 
ica's infantmortality rate 14th and its 
maternal-mortality rate 11th? And why— 
after а generation of health-care break- 
throughs that indude the conquest of 
polio and diphtheria, the advent of count- 
less miracle drugs and new lifesaving 
technology such as open-heart surgery and 
hemodialysis—has American life expect- 
ancy failed to increase since 1961? 

No опе blames our medical system ex- 
clusively for this depressing trend. Rising 
highway fatalities, urban pollution, high- 
cholesterol diets, nerveracking lile style 
and lack of exercise have all contributed. 
Yet Canada, where environmental pres- 
sures and life style are comparable to our 
own, shows better statistics in both male 
longevity and infant mortality. Particu- 
larly embarrassing is the fact that all of 
America’s impressive medical know-how 
has failed to keep our male life-expect- 
ancy rate equal with that of nations that 
have considerably lower per-capita in- 
comes, countries like Bulgaria, East Ger- 
many and Poland. 

Why is this so? My scarch for answers 
began in a utilitarian one-bedroom apart- 
ment awash in dirty hospital uniforms 
and со of the New England Journal 
of Medicine. Slumped in the middle of. 
her Levitz sofa, just off nightshift duty 
at one of the nation's major community 
hospitals, was the nurse, coughing badly 
from a cold, compliments of her patients. 
She was talking about a millionaire sur- 
geon on her hospital staff. This physi- 
cian, who specialized in diseases of the 
rich, was adored by his high-society pa- 
tients. His friends blessed him for finding 
imaginary breast masses on their wives 
and then subjecting them to needless 
mastectomies. Hardly a week went by 
when he didn't take out a normal stom- 
ach or a healthy uterus. 

The nurse, still wearing her hospital 


whites and hacking steadily, went on for 
several hours about the outrages she had 
seen performed at the hands of this sur- 
geon. The physician had tried to cure a 
woman's diarrhea with three totally 
unrelated surgeries: hysterectomy, thy- 
roidectomy and hemorrhoidectomy. The 
diarrhea did not abate. Another woman 
plagued by vaginal bleeding from her 
1.0.0. ended up with a hysterectomy 
(when the doctor simply should have ге 
moved the L U. D.). After performing an 
appendectomy on one man, he closed the 
patient up before the pus could drain; he 
was ш a hurry to make a baseball game 
with his son. The patient went downhill 
and the surgeon returned to pronounce 
him beyond hope. Several of the nurse's 
colleagues were so distraught they ap- 
pealed to the chief of staff, persuading 
him to bring in other doctors, who drained 
the pus and saved the man's life. 

"The nurse's face was red now and her 
cough was getting worse: "Can you imag- 
ine that? Can you imagine a doctor vain 
enough to let a patient die rather than 
admit a mistake?” 

"How does he get his patients?" 1 
asked. 


"How does he get away with it?” 

“The same way he gets away with ev- 
erything else. Doctors don't have t0 an- 
swer to anyone except the IRS.” 

After a few more horror stories about. 
the surgeon, it was time for me to go- 
When the nurse took me to the door, she 
became engulfed in another coughing fit. 

“Hey,” she yelled as I walked down to 
my car, “you got anything for a cold?” 

I remember feeling haunted by her 
stories while 1 drove home that night. I 
had read about such outrages in maga- 
ics and newspapers but somehow al- 
ways managed to associate them with 
poor people who couldn't afford good 
medical care. Her firsthand accounts of 
this surgeon's work at the expense of his 
high-society patients jolted me. Now, doz 
ens of hospitals and clinics later, the sur- 
geon seems like a footnote to what I saw 
and heard during my travels about Amer- 
ica's medical empire. I found: 

= Patients denied admission to hospi- 
tals who dropped dead on their way 
home. 

* Hospitals that falsify medical-com. 
mittee-mecting minutes to win accred- 
itation. 

+ In 1972, the head of California's hos- 
pital-licensing division openly admitted 
that she would not feel safe in some hos- 
pitals licensed by her own office 

= A state contracting with medical 
groups to provide prepaid-health-care 
services at hospitals specifically disap- 
proved by inspectors from that same 
state's medical associ: 

* Hospitals where doctors complain 


that their patients are constantly dis 
appearing. 

* Hospitals that unload their patients 
on beuer medical facilities nearby the 
moment they become seriously ill 

+ A surgeon walking out in the middle 
of a hysterectomy because the nurse said 
something he didn't like (the anesthetist 
completed the operation). 

+ А medical-board-certified cardiovas 
cular surgeon with impeccable medical 
credentials and a lengthy bibliography 
who has butchered a number of patients 
straight into their graves. 

* Reputable physicians who can't even 
remember how many patients they have 
in the hospital. 

= Chiropractors, optometrists and den 
tists handling emergency-room patients. 

* Nurses who can't 
tween live and dead patien 

What surprised me most during my un- 
guided tour of American medicine was 
the fact that you can't be assured of ade- 
quate care, no matter how much money 
you spend. Many victims of the malprac 
tice and misíeasance cited above were 
well off financially. The affluent patient 
in his $140-a-day private room with wal]. 
to-wall carpeting and color TV is every 
bit as vulnerable as the welfare patient in 
an open charity ward. Indeed, many med- 
ical charlatans and proprietary (profit- 
making) hospitals feast off the wealthy. 
‘They hospitalize patients for nonexistent 
diseases, subject them to completely un 
necessary Jab tests and X rays, hold them 
for days to increase room and drug charg- 
es before finally putting them through 
needless surgery. Dr. Vincent De Paulo. 
who runs a prepaid-medical-group prac 
lice on the West Side of Los Angeles, told 
me how this works: 

"I know a millionaire g.p. here who ca 
ters to а very exclusive clientele, yet he 
operates out of a tiny office with just one 
examining room. When | asked him to 
let me in on his secret, the guy said: ‘I 
don’t like to see my patients at the office 
It's worth more seeing them at the hospi 
tal_ I use a place in one of the wealthiest 
parts of town, so no one feels bad about 
going there. Generally, I'll keep at least 
20 patients in at a time and hit them $25 
apiece for my daily visit. "That's $500 a 
day just for making my morning rounds. 
Throw in some surgery, give ‘em a few 
shots, do some Jab work and it really adds 
up. Especially since I'm part owner of the 
hospital.” 


“Operator, this is Mrs. Mitchum over 
in emergency. Do you have a home num- 
ber for Dr. Patrick Love? . . . L-O-V-E; 
he’s my senior surgical resident tonight 
and he's five hours late. . . . Yes, I've been 
trying his pager and his room here all eve- 
ning and there's no answer. . . . You sure 
you can't find a home number? . . . No, 
I'm not going to look him up in the 

(continued on page 120) 


Goblin 
Market 


tina Rossetti 


ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTEEN years 
ago, a young writer named Christina 
Rossetti was suffering the collapse of 
а turbulent love affair. She 
sublimated her distress by writing 

a poem for children—a long poem 
called “Goblin Market.” The author 
went on lo become опе of the 
notable women poets in English 
literature and the poem became a 
Victorian nursery classic, still 
reprinted and read to this day, 
Ostensibly, it is a scary narrative 
about two beautiful maiden sisters 
who get mixed up with 

а sinister tribe of goblins. 

How really sinister and scary it is, 
given just a Freudian glance, 
has never been openly discussed. 

The lurid sexual fantasies 

that raged in Miss Rossetti's uncon- 
scious at last get their vecognition 

in “Beyond the Looking Glass,” a new 
anthology edited by Jonathan Cott 
and prefaced by Leslie Fiedler, soon 
to be published by Stonehill in New 
York. “The most extreme depiction 
of repressed eroticism in children's 
literature," Mr. Cott calls "Goblin 
Market"—or, in other words, it might 
be called the all-time hard-core 
pornographic classic for tiny tots. 

The episode that inspired it will 
always remain somewhat veiled by 
Victorian reticence, but the recorded 
facts are that Christina Rossetti, 
in June 1858, went to the town of 
Newcastle to stay with William Bell 
Scott and his wife. Scott, whom 
Christina had known for some time, 
was а handsome poet and painter, an 
energetic seducer of noblewomen 
and literary ladies. Some months 
later, after Christina had retreated 
to London and Scott had fallen in 
love with another woman, “Goblin 
Market” was born out of a storm of 
guilt and emotion. 

Adult readers of today, familiar with 
the mundane goings on of “Deep 
Throat” and Screw magazine, will 
doubtless be shocked at this poem. It 
is a lewd goblin that rises dripping 
out of the dark depths of the 
Victorian psyche. So—take a couple 
of tranquilizers and have a look at 
what the kids have been reading for 
the past 114 years. 


i 

hiding between the lines 

of this nice victorian nursery 

tale lurk monsters from 
the freudian night 


“Come buy our orchard fruits, 
Come buy, come buy: 

Apples and quinces, 

Lemons and oranges, 

Plump unpecked cherries, 


Melons and raspberries, 

Bloom-down-cheeked peaches, 

Swart-headed mulberries ... 

Allripe together 

In summer weather, 

Morns that pass by, 

Fair eves that fly; 

Come buy, come buy... 

Figs to fill your mouth, 

Citrons from the south, 

Sweet to tongue aud sound to eye; 

‘Come buy, come buy.” 

Evening by evening 

Among the brookside rushes, 

Laura bowed her hend ta hear, 

Lizzie veiled her blushes: 

Crouching close together 

In the cooling weather, 

With clasping arms and 
cautioning lips, 

With tingling cheeks and finger tips. 

“Lie close,” Laura said, 

Prickiug up her golden head: 

“We must not look at gobliu men, 

We must uot buy their fruits: 

Who knows upon what soil they fed 

‘Their hungry thirsty roo! 

“Come buy,” call the goblins 

Hobbling down the glen. 

“Look, Lizzie, look, Lizzi 

One hauls a basket, 

One bears a plate, 

One lugs a golden dish 

Of many pounds’ weight. 

How fair the vine must grow 

Whose grapes are so luscious; 

How warm the wiud must blow 

‘Through those fruit bushes.” 

“No,” said Lizzie, “uo, no, no; 

Their offers should not charm us, 

‘Their evil gifts would harm ns.” 

She thrust а dimpled finger 

In each ear, shut eyes and гап: 

Curious Laura chose to linger 

Wondering at each merchantman. 

One had a caf's face, 

One whisked a tail, 

One tramped at a rat's pace, 

One crawled like a snail, 

One like a wombat prowled 
obtuse and furry, 


ns 


116 


One like a ratel tumbled hurry-scurry. 
She heard a voice like voice of doves 
Cooing all together: 
They sounded kind and full of loves 
In the pleasant weather. . .. 
When they reached where Laura was 
They stood stock-still upon the moss, 
Leering at each other, 
Brother with queer brother; 
Sigualing each other, 
Brother with sly brother... . 
One heaved the golden weight 
Of dish and fruit to offer her: 
“Come buy, come buy,” was still 
their cry. 
Laura stared but did not stir, 
Longed but had no money: 
The whisk-tailed merchant 
bade her taste 
In tones as smooth as honey. ... 
But sweet-toothed Laura 
spoke in haste: 
“Good folk, Y have no coin; 
To take were to purloin: 


Y have no copper in my purse, 
Y have no silver either, 
And all my gold is on the furze 
‘That shakes in windy weather 
Above the rusty heather.” 
“You have much gold upon 
your head,” 
‘They answered all together: 
“Buy from us with a golden curl.” 
She clipped a precious golden lock, 
She dropped a tear more rare 
than pearl, 
Then sucked their fruit globes 
fair or red: 
Sweeter than honey from the rock, 
Stronger than man-rejoicing wine, 
Clearer than water flowed that juice; 
She never tasted such before, 
How should it cloy with length of use? 
She sucked and sucked and sucked 
the more 
Fruits which that unknown 
orchard bore; 
She sucked until her lips were sore; 


‘Then flung the emptied rinds away .. . 
And knew not was it night or day 
As she turned home alone. 
Lizzie met her at the gate 
Full of wise upbraidings: 
“Dear, you should not stay so late, 
‘Twilight is not good for maidens; 
Should not loiter in the glen 
In the haunts of goblin men. . ..” 
“Nay, hush,” said Laura: 
“Nay, hush, my sister: 
Late and ate my fill, 
Yet my mouth waters still; 
Tomorrow night Y will 
Buy more,” and kissed her: 
“Have done with sorrow; 
PII bring you plums tomorrow 
Fresh on their mother twigs, 
Cherries worth getting; 
You cannot think what figs 
My teeth have met in, 
What melons icy-cold 
Piled on a dish of gold 
Too huge for me to hold, 
What peaches with a velvet nap, 
Pellucid grapes without one seed: 
Odorous indeed must be the mead 
Whereon they grow, and pure the 
wave they drink 
With lilies at the brink, 
And sugar-sweet their sap.” 
Golden head by golden head, 
Like two pigeons in one nest 
Folded in each other's wings, 
‘They lay down in their curtained bed: 
Like two blossoms on one stem, 
Like two flakes of new-fall’n snow, 
Like two wands of ivory 
Tipped with gold for awful 
Cheek to cheek and breast to breast 
Locked together in one nest. 
Early in the morning 
When the first cock crowed his 
warning, 
Neat like bees, as sweet and busy, 
Laura rose with Lizzie: 
Fetched in honey, milked the cows, 
Aired and set to rights the house, 
Kneaded cakes of whitest wheat, 
Cakes for dainty mouths to eat, 
Next churned butter, whipped up 
cream, 
Fed their poultry, sat and sewed; 
‘Talked as modest maidens should: 
Lizzie with an open heart, 
Laura in an absent dream, 
One content, one sick in part; 
One warbling for the mere bright 
day's delight, 
One longing for the night. . «. 
Day after day, night after night, 
Laura kept watch in vain 
In sullen silence of exceeding pain. 
She never caught again the goblin cry: 
“Come buy, come buy"— 
She never spied the goblin men 
Hawking their fruits along the glen: 
But when the noon waxed bright 
Her hair grew thin and gray; 
She dwindled, as the fair 
full moon doth turn 


Her fire away 
Till Laura, dwindling, 
Seemed knocking at Death's door: 
‘Then Lizzie weighed no more 
Better and worse; 
But put a silver penny in her purse, 
Kissed Laura, crossed the heath 
with clumps of furze 
At twilight, halted by the brook; 
And for the first time in her life 
Began to listen and look. 
Laughed every goblin 
When they spied her peepinj 
her hobbling, 
Flying, running, leaping . . - 
Clucking and gobbling . . . 
Catlike and ratlike, 
Ratel- and wombatlike, 
Snail-paced in a hurry, 
Parrot-voiced and whistler, 
Helter-skelter, hurry-scurr; 
Hugged her and kissed her, 
Squeezed and caressed her; 


Stretched up their dishes, 

Panniers and plates: 

“Look at our apples 

Russet and dun, 

Bob at our cherries, 

Bite at our peaches, 

Citrons and dates, 

Grapes for the asking, 

Pears red with hasking 

Out in the sun, 

Plums on their twigs; 

Pluck them and suck them, 

Pomegranates, figs.” 
“Good folk,” said Lizzi 

“Give me much and many"— 

Held out her apron, 

‘Tossed them her penny. 

“Nay, take a seat with us, 

Honor and eat with из... 

Be welcome guest with us, 

Cheer you and rest with us." 

“Thank you,” said Liz: 
“but one waits 

At home alone for те: 


So without further parleying, 
1f you will not sell me any 
Of your fruits, though much and many, 
Give me back my silver penny 
Y tossed you for a fee.” 
"Ihey began to scratch their pates, 
No longer wagging, purring, 
But visibly demurring, 
Grunting and snarling. 
Опе called her prow 
Cross-grained, uncivil; 
Their tones waxed loud, 
Their looks were evil. 
Lashing their tails, 
‘They trod and hustled her, 
Elbowed and jostled her, 
Clawed with their nails, 
Barking, mewing, hissing, mocking, 
Tore her gown and soiled her 
stocking, 
‘Twitched her hair out by the roots, 
Stamped upon her tender fect, 
Held her hands and squeezed 
their fruits 


117 


118 


Against her mouth to make her eat. 

White and golden Lizzie stood, 
Like a lily in a flood, 

Like a rock of blue-veined stone 
Lashed by tides obstreperously . . . 
Like a fruit-crowned orange tree 
White with blossoms honey-sweet 
Sore beset by wasp and bee, 

Like a royal virgin town 

‘Topped with gilded dome and spire 
Close beleaguered by a fleet 

Mad to tug her standard down. 

One may lead a horse to water, 
‘Twenty cannot make him drink. 
Though the goblins cuffed and 

caught her, 

Coaxed and fought her, 

Bullied and besought her, 

Scratched her, pinched her black as 
ink, 

Kicked and knocked her, 

Mauled and mocked ber, 

Lizzie uttered not a word; 

Would not open lip from lip 

Lest they should cram a mouthful in; 

But laughed in heart to feel the drip 

Of juice that syruped all her face, 

And lodged in dimples of her chin, 

And streaked her neck which quaked 
like curd. 

At last the evil people, 

Worn out by her resistance, 

Flung back her penny, kicked their 
fruit 

Along whichever road they took, 

Not leaving root or stone or shoot. 

Some writhed into the ground, 

Some dived into the brook 

With ring and ripple, 

Some scudded on the gale without 

a sound, 


In a smart, ache, tingle, 

zie went her way; 

Knew not wasit night or day 

But not one goblin scurried after, 

Nor was she pricked by fear; 

The kind heart made her windy-paced 

That urged her home quite out of 
breath with haste 

And inward laughter. 

She cried, Lanra," up the garden, 

"Did you miss me? 

Come and Kiss me. 

Never mind my bruises, 

Hug me, kiss me, suck my juices 

Squeezed from goblin fruits for you, 

Goblin pulp and goblin dew. 

Eat me, drink me, love me; 

Laura, make much of me; 

For your sake I have braved the glen 

And had to do with goblin 
merchantmen." 

Laura started from her chair, 
Flung her arms up in the air, 
Clutched her hair: 

“Lizzie, Lizzie, have you tasted 

For my sake the fruit Forbidden? 
Must your light like mine be hidden, 
Your young life like mine be wasted, 
Undone in mine undoing 

And ruined in my ruin, 


Thirsty, cankered, goblin-ridden?” 
She clung about her sister, 

issed and kissed and kissed her: 
‘Tears once again 

Refreshed her shrunken eyes, 
Dropping like rain 

After long sultry drought; 

Shaking with anguish, fear, and pain, 
She kissed and kissed her with a 

hungry mouth. 

Her lips began to scorch, 

That juice was wormwood to her tongue, 

She loathed the feast: 

Writhing as one possessed, she leaped 
and sung, 

Rent all her robe, and wrung 

Her hands in lamentable haste, 

And beat her breas 

Swift fire spread through her veins, 

knocked at her heart, 

Met the fire smoldering there 
And overbore its lesser flame; 
She gorged on bitterness without a 

name... 
Spun about, 
Like a foam-topped waterspout 
Cast down headlong in the sea, 
She fell at last; 
Pleasure past and anguish past, 
Isit death or isit life? 

Life out of death. 

That night long Lizzie watched by her, 

Counted her pulse's flagging stir, 

Felt for her breath, 

Held water to her lips, and cooled 
her face 

With tears and fanning leaves: 

But when the first birds chirped about 
their eaves... 

Laura awoke as from a dream, 

Laughed in the innocent old way, 

Hugged Lizzie but not twice or thrice; 

Her gleaming locks showed not one 
thread of gray, 

Her breath was sweet as May, 

And light danced in her eyes. 

Days, weeks, months, years 
Afterward, when both were wives 
With children of their own; 

Their mother-hearts beset with fears, 
Their lives bound up in tender lives; 
Laura would call the little ones 

And tell them of her early prime, 
"Those pleasant days long gone 

Of not-returning time: 

Would talk about the haunted glen, 
The wicked, quaint fruit- 

merchantm 
"Their fruits like honey to the throat, 
But poison in the blood 
(Men sell not such in any town): 
Would tell them how her sister stood 
In deadly peril to do her good, 

And win the fiery antidote: 

"Then joining hands to little hands 
Would bid them cling together, 

“For there is no friend like a sister, 
In calm or stormy weather, 

To cheer one on the tedious way, 

To fetch one if one goes astray, 

To lift one if one totters down, 

То strengthen whilst one stands.” Bg 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY KINUKO CRAFT 


phone book, that's too. much. trouble." 

With that, Bertrella Mitchum, super- 
or of Cook County Hospital's emer- 
gency-room swing shift, gives up on the 
man 1 am calling Dr. Love. (With this 
exception, all the names in this article 


PLAYBOY 


ago's largest. medical facility, she 
bout to start playing truant officer 
for senior surgical residents. If the switch- 
board can't find him, she can’t find 5 
Mrs. Mitchum, a chain-smoking, strong- 
minded black woman, has tried to reach 
the night hospital administrator about 
the problem, but no one knows where he 
is, either. Since seven AM., the junior 
surgical resident, Dr, Miguel Castro, has 
handled between 24 and 30 surgery cases. 
Now, at nine P.M., he is too tired to re- 
member the exact number. The young 
surgeon would simply have to keep his 
eyes open. It wasn't such a tragedy, really. 
Dr. Castro could never have picked up 
this kind of round-the-clock experience 
back home in the Philippines. And he can 
be thankful that the X-ray technician is 
back on tonight. Last night, he disap- 
peared for six hours. Thirteen patients, 
some of them seriously ill, had to wait 
ntil morning for their X-ray reports. 
Countys emergency room is the first 
place approximately 200,000 doctorless 
Chicago blacks, Puerto Ricans, Mexicans 
nd poor whites turn to when they need 
medical care. With an average of roughly 
900 patients a day streaming into the 
emergency center, Mrs. Mitchum doesn't. 
have time to worry, Her international 
physician staff—tonight there is even an 
American working among the Filipinos, 
Cubans, Syrians, Rumanians and Indi- 
ans—barely has time to talk. First priority 
are gunshot and stabbing victims brought 
n by the police. They are immediately 
whisked upstairs to the trauma unit. Next 
come heartattack, stroke, О.Ю. and re- 
spiratory emergencies. -Third priority are 
walk-in patients who keel over in the 
waiting line. Alter handling these cases, 
the residents begin taking on two dozen 
diabetic, asthmatic, epileptic, drug addict. 
and d.t. cases spread out on gurney carts 
jamming the corridors. 
While doctors work over their patients, 
Mrs. Mitchum is busy trouble shooting. 
In one examining room, a rotund old 
man named Vito fights the nurses as they 
attempt to remove his new corset. A regu- 
lar visitor with both heart disease and 
diabetes, Vito is always making trouble. 
Mrs. Mitchum and her staff grasp him. 
firmly as an orderly removes his corset. 
Patients like him seem to be geuing more 
aggressive every day. Just this week, a 
man jumped Mrs. Mitchum in the corri- 
dor because she wouldn't have him admit- 
ted to the hospital. It took two guards to 
pull him off. And that was the third pa- 
tient to attack her this month. Chica- 
120 goans often become desperate at County; 


[END ME HET OPER ist CH] 


(continued from page 114) 


they view it as their hospital of last resort. 

Vito's clothes are off now, but he re 
fuses to provide a urine sample. The pa- 
tienes face reddens as he yells: “1 rule the 


um, “why don't you give us some uri 
so we can see if you still rule the world; 

Vito folds his arms over his groin. 

Mrs. Mitchum is angry now: 
cither you give me some u 
or I'm going to catheterize you. 

She has uttered the magic word 
Vito's bladder promptly empties on a vol- 
untary basis. As the head nurse walks tri 
umphantly out of the room, she notices a 
pan of stale yomit resting on a counter 
full of sterilized instruments: "You sav- 
ing this for someone's breakfast?” she 
asksan orderly. 

It is 9:15 pat. now, just two hours be- 
fore Mis. Miuhum's quitting time; the 
Saturday-night specials are beginning to 
roll in steadily. Baseball-bat, stabbing 
and gunshot victims are taking center 
stage. After admitting these customary 
weekend guests, Mrs. Mitchum takes a 
few minutes to think out loud about her 
personnel problems. What is going to 
happen to that nurse over on the wom 
en's side who called in two residents to 
handle a cardiac arrest? When the doctors 
ad 
gunshot wonnd 15 minutes be- 
fore reaching the hospital. Both residents 
were furious about being awakened. You 
would think the nurse would have taken 
her pulse. 

And what about that Filipino nurse 
who keeps refusing to answer the phone 
because her English isn't too good? How 
can we change doctors who insist on 
conversing belore patients in a foreign 
tongue, even though they know it's 
against hospital rules? Why do they 
think the administration spent $32,000 
on a Berlitz course for the 30 interns who 
flunked the hospital's English-proficiency 
test? 

In between confiscating liquor bottles 
from patients who consider County a 
B. Y.O. kind of place, Mrs. Mitchum 
speaks with an intern anxious to release 
ashen-looking old man. The patient is 
short of breath and Mrs Mitchum asks 
about his temperature. “A hundred and 
Tour." reports the doctor, "but I'm going 
to let him go home. We've only got room 
for sick people in this place. 

Mrs. Mitchum nods, then reconsiders 
the order as soon as the physician turns 
his back. “Hold him for overnight ob- 
servation,” she tells a nurse. The doctor 
will probably never know the difference, 
since it’s doubtful he'll ever see the pa- 
tient again. 

Remembering patients is a vital part of 
Mrs. Mitchum's job. Take the 76- -old 
man who came in tonight with a head in- 
jury sustained in a fall. X xays turned up. 


arrived, they discovered the мота 


died of a 


negative, which persuaded the resident 
and the neurosurgeon to release him. Mrs 
Mitchum intervenes and when the two 
doctors try to overrule her, she simply 
pulls off the man’s bandage. There is a 
deep scalp wound that calls for imme 
diate suturing. The physicians, who had 
never bothered looking under the band 
age put on by a nurse, are beaten. Their 
patient goes off to surgery for sutur 
ing and on up to the neuro ward for 
observation. 

A few minutes later, a call comes down 
from neuro about another patient who 
has gone berserk. He is disturbing the 
ward and neuro’s head nurse wants to 
know if there might be space for him in 
emergency. Just then, the night hospital 
administrator makes his first appearance 
of the evening. He knows Mrs. Mitchum 
doesn't want to board this neuro case and 
tries to work out a compromise: “Why not 
just bring him down here and put him in 
the middle of the hall?” 

Mrs. Mitchum shakes her head: “Baby, 
I'm sorry, but we got all the lunatic we 
can handle." 

The administrator mercifully disap- 
pears into the night, leaving Mrs. Mitch. 
um with a few minutes to talk about 
some serious attitude problems among 
the Indian doctors, Her handsome fea. 
tures stiffen as she explains the difficulty: 
“Some of the Indians just aren't as con- 
cerned about saving lives as we are. We 
have to yell at them to hurry and save 
tients before time runs out. They tell me, 
"You Americans don't understand how to 
solve your population explosion. You 
ought to just let some of them die, the 
way we do back home.” 

At 11:15 P.M., Mrs. Mitchum turns over 
her worries to the graveyard shift. She is 
in a hurry to get home and do some des 
perate organ practicing for a big lesson to 
morrow. Dr. Love never did show up and 
Dr. Castro is still suturing away. On her 
way out, the head nurse passes fresh gun. 
shot, coronary and d.t. cases. The examin. 
ing rooms and corridors are busier than 
ever. In the waiting room, she notices 
that the wall clock stopped functioning 
at 4:55 р.м. Well, now, there's a pl 
Maybe some of those people who've been 
waiting around for almost seven hours 
think it’s still 4:55 р.м. 

"The head nurse walks briskly on leav- 
ing the hospital. She knows not to use 
County's underground tunnels at night. 
That's where a lab technician was beaten 
senseless a year ago. Mrs. Mitchum also 
refuses to park in lot five. That's where 
one of the nurses was mugged. The hospi 
's neighborhood is tough. You really 
c to watch your step. If you're not 
eful, you might end up in the hospital 

Cook County Hospital is the hub of the 
305-acre West Side Medical Center, the 
world’s largest medical complex. Sur 
rounded by six other hospitals and four 

(continued on page 250) 


ha 


modern living By BROCH ЧАТЕ 


YOU'VE REALLY GOT to wonder what in sweet Jesus’ name is 
going on with automobiles these days. Here's Detroit building 
cars with bumpers that belong on freight locomotives and pro 
pelled by engines that run so Jumpily that the carburetors 
appear to have been designed by the Boston Strangler. Then 
you've got Ralph Nader and his associates, who want to cocoon 
us so securely inside the blasted things that we could be sent 
airmail, special delivery without fear of injury. It’s all part of 


for a choice not an echo, theres the muscle- 
building pedal car or the ego-feeding stutz 


society's efforts to grind the rough edges off this infernal ma- 
chinc that has so shaken the foundation of American society 
in the 20th Century. That can't be all bad, but this house 
breaking procedure is tending to remove whatever minuscule 
evidence of pioneering and innovation was left in the industry 
"The vast thrust of the contemporary automobile scene is 10 
1 standardization; the whole thing is riding down toward 
the totally homogenized transportation module of tomorrow. 
This trend toward formulized automobiles, created as con 


sensus products by a plodding, hidebound industry, a splendid 


city wheels: 


mud bog of Federal bureaucrats and a collection of mildly 
paranoid consumerists, would seem to mitigate against further 
new vehicular concepts’ arriving on the scene. For example, 
Federal regulations have canceled any possibility of new road- 
sters’ or convertibles’ being marketed. The fiberglass-kit cars. 
the dune buggies and such that came with a flurry in the Sixties, 
will soon be gone because of their inability to meet safety 


standards; the megahorsepower “muscle cars" are gone; and 


these are solid indications that a day is soon coming when 


no modifications whatsoever will be permitted for any car. 


PHY BY DON AZUMA 


Standardization. Here comes the homogenized automobik 

Buc if this is the end of automotive excess, what in hell are 
guys like Don Gates and Big Jim O'Donnell still hanging 
around for? After all, here are two men with some pretty cuckoo 
ideas about what America wants in the way of vehicular 
transportation, and they're still in (continued on page 224) 


The long and short of it: A PPV pedal car goes blithely by one of 
the few things it's capable of passing—a gas station—while а Stutz 
stud takes о driving break amid the all-too-familiar surroundings. 


— 


a two-way street — 


When you are joyous, look deep into your heart, and you shall find it is only that 
which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful, look again in 
your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your 
delight. —KAHLIL GIBRAN 


People use “The Prophet” to get laid —LENNY BRUCE 


[Gulls] often flock together with lapwings in the meadows, apparently for the sole 
purpose of robbing them. They walk around among the busy lapwings like wardens in a 
Nazi prison camp. They do not try to catch any food for themselves but keep a watchful 
eye on the lapwings. As soon as a lafwing has caught something which it cannot swallow 
immediately, the gulls round about fly at it at once, often coming from over 20 yards 
ашау. The lapwing, knowing by bitter experience what this means, flies up as soon as 
only one gull lifts its wings. If it cannot swallow its prey in the air before the gulls reach 
it, its chances of keeping it are almost nil—NIKO TINBERGEN, “The Herring Gull's World: 


A Study of the Social Behavior of Birds” 


CHAPTER ONE 


IT WAS EVENING, and the sunset beyond the county dump 
Created a disquieting silhouette of obsolescence. 

This was dinnertime for the elite flock of gulls who ate 
there each day. They were feasting upon a delicious spread 
of moldy caviar that had been discarded by a friendly neigh- 
borhood restaurant. 

Down on the beach, the tide was starting to come in. 
Snakelike seaweed was beginning to gather in clusters along 
the shore. Fading jellyfish were returning home to have their 
bodies tie-dyed again. And Thomas Eagleton Seagull was 
busy trying to build a castle in the sand. 

He didn't have a pail or a shovel, but this lack merely 
served to increase his sense of determination. He knew only 
that he was going to build a sand castle even if the occan 
planned to wash it away. 

Waves of salt water splashed over him even as he was 
squeezing out the final turrets from the mud inside his beak. 


Yet he quickly repaired the moats, making them deeper by 
digging sideways with his webbed feet. 

He looked at the castle he had almost completed, and a 
surge of pride ran through him as he shook the sand from 
his wings. At the precise moment he was feeling most proud 
of his accomplishment, however, the tide swept it away. 

"Come back!” he called to the sand castle. "I'm not finished 
playing with you!” 

“There'll be others,” the sand castle called back. “Be- 
sides, 1 have my own life to live, too!" And it merged with 
the sea, 

“There must be more to life than feeding off human gar- 
bage,” mumbled Thomas Eagleton Seagull to himself. He 
was attempting to develop his will power to the point where 
he would be able to transcend his species. “Why should 
X have to settle for leftovers as a seagull,” he asked him- 
self, “when I could become a human being and dine on the 
original?” 

And so, as an act of faith, he moved just a little farther 


125 


PLAYBOY 


up the beach and began to build another 
sand castle. 


CHAPTER TWO 

The idea of changing his category had 
originally occurred to him one afternoon 
while he was feeling depressed because 
some friends had died as a result of a baf- 
fling oil slick in the ocean. 

Flying broodily past a house with a pic- 
iure window in the living room, he no- 
ticed that inside, the color-television set 
was on. It happened to be tuned in to 
Let's Make a Deal. 

One of the contestants—a woman who 
was wearing a seagull costume—seemed 
to be experiencing a fit of passion bor- 
dering on ecstasy. Thomas Eagleton Sea- 
gull naturally assumed that the reason 
was simply that she was pretending to be 
a gull. 

“ГЇЇ trade places with you, lady," he 
squawked. 

That spontaneous outburst turned into 
an obsession. The image of role reversal 
had imprinted itself indelibly upon his 
psyche. 

Each day he flew around the house 
with the picture window expecting to get 
a glimpse of her on TV again. At first he 
tried to glide by with a nonchalant ex- 
pression on his face so that none of the in- 
habitants would get suspicious. 

As he grew increasingly confident, he 
would circle slowly in front of the living 
room, peering in with blatant abandon. 
Smirking with hope. But he never saw the 
woman in the seagull costume again, no 
matter when he went calling. 

In the process, Thomas Eagleton Sea- 
gull became a regular—if intermittent— 
viewer of daytime television. 

Soap operas especially fascinated him. 
Everyone always looked so perturbed. 
"The tension of their grim demeanor was 
relieved only by an occasional Smiling 
Savior holding up a bottle of pellets or a 
box of flakes or maybe patting a machine 
or else pouring the contents of a box into 
a machine. 

And Thomas Eagleton Seagull was 
going to join their species. This was his 
all-consuming resolution. 

CHAPTER THREE 

Molly Salami Seagull was his favorite 
companion. He could really confide in 
her. Although she had no desire to be- 
come human herself, at least she under- 
stood the depth of his yearning. 

One night they stayed up late, sitting 
and chatting in front of a small bonfire 
on the outskirts of the county dump. 

"I was watching some surfers today, 
Thomas Eagleton Seagull began. "I was 
trying to imagine what it must be like to 
be human. And, I don't know, I mean the 
ocean seems like such an impersonal 
thing, but when it's carrying you along 
like that, it must also seem like a very per- 
sonal thing. Wouldn't that be a wonder- 


195 ful way to relate to the whole world?” 


"But you can already do that as a sea- 
gull,” said Molly Salami Seagull. "When 
humans go damming, rhough—they can't 
catch clams the way we can—they have to 
get dressed in those dark-rubber coveralls 
and then they go into the ocean and 
prod the mud with those big sticks or 
whatever.” 

But it was a human who built this fire. 
Cana seagull build a fire?” 

“А seagull can't even make a march,” 
she admitted. 

"Or a Frisbee. We aren't built to play 
Frisbee, But wouldn't it be fun to be able 
to toss a Frisbee back and forth? I was 
watching some people on the beach with 
a Frisbee, and they looked so graceful you 
wouldn't believe it. And the philosophi- 
cal inferences one could draw- 

"You're already beginning to sound 

like a human." 
Let me tell you. 1 stood there watch- 
ing that Frisbee go back and forth, back 
and forth, until a message came through, 
and it was that time keeps happening no 
matter what you йо!" 

"Oh. sure, but if you can conceive of 
that as a seagull, then why do you have to 
be a human?” 

“Because as a human, I could do differ- 
ent things all the time. As a seagull, I'm 
limited." He gazed into the fire. "I want 
to open myself up to new experiences. I 
don't even want to say the same thing 
twice,” 

"That's exactly what you told me yes 
terday," said Molly Salami Seagull. 


CHAPTER FOUR 
One night, Thomas Eagleton Seagull 
had a dream. He preferred to think of it 


A pair of spirits had come to battle for 
his allegiance. He couldn't see them 
dearly. The Spirit of Permissivencss ap- 
peared as a swirl of rainbow. And the 
Spirit of Productivity was an ethereal 
crazy quilt of brand names. But he could 
hear their voices as distinctly as his own. 

“If you wish to become a human," sai 


ive," argued the Spirit 


of Productivity. "You must base your 
choices, therefore, on the relative strength 
of written guarantees." 

"Thomas Eagleton Seagull asked, "How 
will I know what a correct decision is 
when I have to make one?” 

"Ah," said the Spirit of Permissiveness, 
"but you have already started on that 
course simply by wanting to become a 
human. Thar's what makes you different 
from other seagulls—your dissatisfaction 
with being one yourself. You have made 
a value judgment. You've placed a higher 
value on being human. So, whenever you 
are faced with a choice, you must base it 
on what you consider the best values.” 

"Comparison shopping is a good 
method," added the Spirit of Productiv- 
ity. "You can really make a fine art out of 


being a consumer. Just wait till you dis- 
cover the pleasure to be derived from the. 
creative act of making a purchase." 


missiveness. “I'm not referring to goods 
and services. Im referring to goods and 
evils. Abstract principles to live by. Noth 
ing tangible. The earth is scourged with 
tangible rubbish.” 

“Litter,” announced the Spirit of Pro- 
ductivity, "is the feces of an affluent 
society.” 

“No shit.” replied the Spirit of Per- 
missiveness. 

‘Thomas Eagleton Seagull woke up sud- 
denly and took it as an omen. "No shit," 
he said to himself. He kept repeating that 
phrase over and over again. "No shit. No 
* The more he continued, 
the better it felt. He alternated the ac 
: "No shit. No shit. No shit. 
o shit. No shit. No shi 
he changed the rhythm: 
shitno. Shit-no. Shitno. Shit-no.” The 
corresponding change of order gave him 
an intensified giddiness. As if to further 
escape the dilemma posed by his dual 
visitation, he began to 
together faster and fast 
noshitnoshitnoshitnos! 
Until finally they blended into one fiow- 
ing stream of ncshitness. 

What an incredible sense of delirium, 
to have a personal mantra before you 
were even a person. 


CHAPIEK FIVE 

The next morning, two men who had 
been watching him for days placed a 
metal band around his leg while he was 
meditating on the beach. He had been 
chosen. 

One of the ornithologists left his bin- 
oculars there by accident and Thomas 
Eagleton Seagull had an experience 
in astral projection. He looked into the 
binoculars and saw himself magnified 
simultaneously. 

For the first time. he thought of the 
webbing between his claws as ugly. Back 
at the county dump, he pecked off a 
pair of bootees from a big broken doll 
that had been thrown away and he 
began wearing them on his own embar- 
rassing fe 

"That night he had a vision. He pre- 
ferred to think of it as a nightmare. The 
Essence of Insecurity arrived to tell him 
that the only thing he had to fear was not 
being accepted as a human. 

“You've been observed talking to your- 
self a lot. That's а no-no,” the Essence of 
Insecurity harangued him. "And just 
smell your wingpits. Peeeyiuuuuu! What 
are you going to do when you get arms? A 
human being’s armpits are supposed to 
be charmpits. Your breath isn't so attrac 
tive, either. And then there's the matter 
of your crotch. Yecchhh! Furthermore, 
you have half a hemorrhoid hanging in 
there. What are you trying to do. get your 

(continued on page 182) 


quiet place for 25,000 kids to study, and Geri 

Glass scems to blend in easily. She's there to 
earn, and she talks earnestly about the Ph.D. in 
English that she plans to get. Geri hopes to teach 
on the college level (she likes to picture herself 
running a class and promises, "I'll be rough”). She 
also mentions the extra degree—in law—that she 
might go after, just for fun, “and to get my juris 
doctorate.” But while Geri moves with the crowd 
on campus, she's a loner away from it. She grew 
up that way because wherever she lived, she knew 
she wouldn't be there long enough to make any 
lasting friendships. Her dad, a phone-company en- 
gineer who kept bidding for (and getting) better 
assignments, moved from Phoenix, where Geri 


A MATTER 
OF DEGREES 


T E CAL STATE CAMPUS in Los Angeles 


miss september lives it up — 

after all, she is a california coed — 
but she’s dead serious about 

gelting that ph.d. after her name 


With an armful of overdue books to return—ond with 
plenty of studying to do before the end of the semester 
—Miss Glass porks her bike in front of the library. 


129 


was born 24 years ago, to Southern California, 
then Northern California, Washington and Idaho, 
where she was graduated from high school—and 
got off the Class family express. She headed for 
Pasadena and two years of junior college, then 
took off with a trio of buddies, one of whom had a 
private plane, and flew all over the Western states 
and Mexico, having a good time and— believe it or 
not—looking for properties to invest in. Geri had 
saved a lot of pennies from years of waitressing, 
tutoring high school students and occasionally 
working as a model for an advertising photogra- 
pher; she chose to convert those savings into some 
beach-front land near Monterey Bay (which she 
hopes to sell shortly) and a down payment on a 
brand-new, furnished condominium in Acapulco 
that she shares with al other investors. Geri 
owns the condominium for two months out of the 
year—January and February, the height of the 
season. If she could afford the time off, she'd v: 

tion there herself, but this winter she'll be an ab- 
sentee landlady. After making her investments, 
she went back to school—she’s been at it a year and 


ARIO CASILLI 


"I thought | would just suit up, take my little sword and rat- 
c-tal-tat-touché!" says Geri of her new fencing class. “Actu- 
ally, it's very strenuous; but superinteresting, nonetheless.” 


Geri chats with a fellow coed before ihe 


start of a literature dass; later, at an astron- 
оту session, she studies a celestial globe. 


a half now and will get her B.A. in a 
few months—and back to Pasadena. 
She lives there by herself ("That’s the 
only way to fly") and is quick to vol- 
unteer that she isn't a great house- 
keeper. She can cook—gourmet dishes, 
in fact—and sew well enough, but 
she likes to exercise her freedom by not 
hanging up her clothes and not doing 
the dishes. She has also collected so 
many books that they've long since 
overflowed their containers: a big 
steamer trunk and several packing 
boxes. “It’s ridiculous,” admits Geri, 
in her Southwestern accent. "I've got 
to break down and buy a bookcase, or 
else I'll need a second apartment just 
for my books.” The volumes—many 
of them rare, acquired at swap meets 
or by browsing around—take turns 
accompanying Geri wherever she goes, 
even to parties. Though she'd prefer a 
tome by some 19th Century storyteller 
such as Hardy or Balzac, she claims to 
be a compulsive reader who'll pick up 
and pore over “almost anything— 
even a shopping list.” Well, it does 
make sense for a loner to read a lot, 
especially if she's planning to get a 
Ph.D. and maybe a few more degrees. 
But if Geri seems a bit of a bookworm, 
she also has—as she likes to point out 
—the Gemini's dual personality: soli- 
tary yet sociable, academic yet adven- 
turous. It’s a winning combination. 


Gori's bubble beth is interrupted by a phone call from а friend, David Andrews, 
who'd like her ta go antique hunting with him. Later, Miss September, a self-styled 
book fetishist, finds some old volumes while rummaging in a small shop in Pasadena. 


The Renaissance Pleasure Foire—o carnival with arts-and-crafts booths, vendors in period dress, all kinds of fun and 
games, plus eclectic cuisine—is held on this ranch off the Ventura Freeway. Geri tries on some garlands, takes 
part in a Gemini parade—one of many "astrological" processions—then sits down to enjoy some medieval music. 


=e 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


The man got out of the car and went into the 
motel office. “1 have my wife and kids with 
me,” he said to the clerk, “and before check- 
ing in, I want to be sure this is a family motel 
—not one of those places where couples come 
and go all night.” 
" replied the clerk stiffly, “this is а re- 
spectable establishment. We wouldn't „think 
of being a party to any such goings on." 
"Fine" said the traveler. "What are your 


rates?" 
"For a deluxe uni 


replied the clerk, “it's 
ten dollars ап hour.’ 


Both crews of the first two viking Jongboats in 
the small bay sat ramrod straight, oars held 
steady in an even line, while the men in the 
Шола кс к ыш о 
theirs, which dragged loosely. "Sons of Odin,” 
shouted the chief of the raiding party over the 
water, “yonder lies the undefended Saxon vil- 
lage! We here in the lead boat will loot! You 
men in the second boat will burn! And you 
men. 

“Oh, no,” muttered an oarsman in the third 
longboat, "don't tell me we're raping again!” 


And you've heard, of course, about the guy 
who handed his wife a vibrator and told her to 
buzz off. 


Like many other nations, Israel is cracking 
down on the rockand-drug culture. The latest 
individuals to be denied entry were the mem- 
bers of a group that calls itself The Four Skins. 


Tt was really something else, man!" said the 
rookie policeman to his partner. “When I was 
off duty Saturday night, I went to this big party, 
see, and pretty soon I noticed this super little 
bird giving me the eye. Then she asked me to 
take her home. And just as soon as we were in 
the car, she unzipped me and went right down 
—and Í still didn't even know her name.” 

“бо what did you do?" asked the other cop. 

“Well, I figured this was one situation where 
I'd shoot first and ask questions afterward.” 


The farmer's cATILE CROSSING signs were hav- 
ing little effect. Most motorists continued to 
roar down the highway that cut through his 
pasturc—until he erected a billboard that said 
SLOW DOWN FOR NUDISI-CAMP CROSSING! 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines naiveté as 
the belief that Deep Throat is a Disney movie 
about a giraffe. 


As the philandering husband returned home 
from his camouflaged weekend with his latest 
young interest, his wife asked, "How was the 
fishing trip? 

"Fine. Just fine" the man replied. "We 
caught quite a few but gave them to the 
guides. By the way, dear, you forgot to pack 
the flask of brandy and my shaving lotion.” 

I put them," 
tackle box.” 


she said evenly, "in your 


Time was when most carnal enjoyment 
Was rooted in girl-under-boyment; 
But today's ways of sex 
Use techniques so complex 
That they've lessened girls’ underemployment. 


An evangelist was delivering a flaming sermon 
on vice that shook the rafters of the mission. 
“Listen to me, all you cigarette suckers,” he 
thundered, “all you pipe suckers, all you bor- 
tle suckers ——" 

Just then a high squeaky voice interjected 
from the back row, "Don't forget usl” 


Girls’ athletic teams, insists a male chauvinist 
we know, will always be bush league. 


We didn't understand why the use of water 
beds was reportedly cutting down the incidence 
of adultery—until a friend happened to ask if 
we'd ever tried to hide under one, 


A man went to the hospital for a vasectomy. 
During the operation, the surgeon's scalpel 
slipped and severed a testicle, so he sent a nurse 
to the cafeteria for an onion, which he sutured 
asa replacement. 

Some time later, the patient returned for his 
final checkup and the surgeon asked him how 
he felt. "Just fine,” said the man, “except for 
three things. First, when I pee. my eyes water. 
Second, when we have intercourse, my wife 
complains of heartburn. And third, every time 
I pass а hamburger joint, I get a hardon!” 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“Oh, Mr. Woodsman—however can I thank you for saving me from 
the lusting claws of that big bad wolf?” 


To illustrate the historical break- 
throughs in man’s (and woman's) 
age-old struggle with numbers, we 
challenged a panel of experts with an 
everyday math problem. Namely: “If 
amount on line 5 ts over $11,000 but 
under $16,000, enter on line 6 83550 
plus 39 percent of the excess over 
$14,000." From left to right, here are 
the results. Expert #1, a paleolithic 
cave girl, could not comprehend the 
problem. She forged ahead 

anyway and after two weeks counting 
on her fingers came up with 

ап answer of 7, which was incorrect. 
Expert #2, fast on the abacus but 
по! so good with English, required 
an interpreter. After 20 minutes, 
she delivered a correct ansuer— 

in yen, rather than in dollars. 


Expert #3, a Radcliffe-cducated 
engineer known as the fastest slide 

rule in the East, found a solution in 
just 20 seconds. Unhappily, the 

solution was incorrect. Slide rules 

can't add and neither can she. 

Expert #4, from our own Accounting 
Department, punched out the right 
answer on a mechanical adding 
machine in just four minutes, 
bloodying her finger lips in the 

process, since she had to use 

= repeated addition in lieu of 
multiplication. The hands-down 
winner was expert #5 (below). 

Using one of the electronic 
minicalculators shown here, she 

solved the problem in a breath-taking 
4.3 seconds, giving her time to relax and 
change into something more comfortable. 


HE FIRST POCKET-SIZED ELECTRONIC CALCULATORS went on sale just two years ago. The rest is history. 
Almost overnight, these tiny battery-powered machines became the latest status symbol of the airborne 

executive. The trickle of thousands sold in 1971 prew to a torrent, and today over 50 companies compete 

in a market that will include literally millions of buyers this year alone. The status-conscious execu- 

tive has been joined by legions of other figure freaks, in Ше home, on the job and in the classroom. 

Among students, the minicalculator is catching on so fast that some educators are already recommend. 

ing that schools stop teaching multiplication and division—an idea whose time has assuredly not yet 

come. Besides threatening one of the three Rs, the electronic calculator has already obsoleted the slow, — pHoToGRAPHY BY DON azuma 


141 


PLATBOY 


cumbersome and expensive mechanical 
calculator, as well as the less versatile 
mechanical adding machine. And it's well 
on its way toward replacing the cheaper 
but less accurate slide rule. Most impor- 
tant of all, it permits, encourages and 
even makes enjoyable the sort of arith- 
metic chores that reasonable folks have 
traditionally avoided. 

АШ in all, minicalculators are а wel- 
come reaffirmation of what's good about 
а technological society. They're fun to 
use, they're cheap, they save time, they 
don't take up much room, they don't pol- 
lute and they liberate you forever from 
the rigorous demands of long division. 
No question, they grow on you. People 
who have avoided numbers all their lives 
are suddenly discovering they can't live 
without their minis. 

“As people find out how much more ef- 
ficient the calculator makes them, they 
use it more,” says Edward A. White. presi- 
dent of Bowmar Instrument Corpora- 
tion, the firm that introduced the pocket 
calculator. "Calculators are addictive," he 
adds gleefully, and he ought to know. 
Just two years ago. his tiny Indiana aero- 
Space firm was trying desperately to di 
versify into consumer markets. Hc had 
flown to Japan with a miniature diode 
display screen (the gadget that shows the 
numbers) developed by his rescarchers. 
He was hoping that the powerful Japa- 
nee manufacturers, whose desktop. cle 
tronic office calculators had wiped out 
the U.S. mechanical-calculator business, 
would jump at the chance to buy his new 
display units, joining them with micro- 
miniature technology to produce a hand- 
held battery-operated calculator. 

But the Japanese weren't buying. In 
onc of their rare errors in the consumer- 
electronics business, they rejected the 
pocket calculator as a toy that could 
never sell in quantity. How wrong they 
were. After trying and failing to interest 
U.S. companies in the same proposal, 
White decided to build the thing himself. 
In September 1971, when the first hand- 
held calculator came on the market, it 
was the result of a pioneering develop- 
ment effort by Bowmar and Texas In- 
struments, one of the first companies to 
start mass-producing the tiny integrated- 
circuit “chip” that makes up the brain 
of the machine. 

White couldn't be happier about the 
way calculator sales are going at Bowmar. 
“The Japanese have pretty well had it,” 
he says. Never modest, he has always 
claimed to be the leading U. S. calculator 
maker. As it happens, competitors agree. 
They guess that he will build about 
one quarter of all consumer calculators 
made this year in the U.S. and Can- 
ada—about 1,200,000 machines. Adding to 
White's contentment, no doubt, is the fact 


142 that he is the largest single stockholder 


in a firm whose shares have gone from 
$6 to as high as $38 in the past 18 months. 

Like the display screen, the brain of 
the minicalculator emerged from U. S. re- 
search laboratories in the late Sixties. A 
major breakthrough was the discovery of 
a lowcost method of producing minia- 
ture electronic circuitry. This involves 
what is called the large-scale integrated 
circuit—a calculator on а chip that packs 
the action of several thousand transistors 
into a unit smaller than a pencil eraser. 

Contrary to conventional wisdom, the 
calculator on а chip was not a direct spin- 
off from the space program. Time called 
the pocket calculator “another hand-me- 
down from the acrospace programs of 
the Sixties,” but the calculator chip and 
the metallic-oxide semiconductor (MOS) 
process that made it possible owe more to 
free enterprise than to Federal funding. 
Cynics say the spin-off story got started 
because NASA, in its continuing effort 
to justify the space program, takes credit 
for technological developments it had 
nothing to do with. 

In the beginning, the calculator chip. 
was tough to build. Farly yields of usable 
parts amounted to less than one percent 
of total production. But last year, when 
production problems were resolved and 
reliable chips finally started rolling off 
production lines, the impact on calcula- 
tor economics was dramatic. In 1971, it 
had taken up to five MOS circuits and 
four hours of hand labor to assemble the 
simplest model. With the calculator on a 
chip. the assembly time dropped to less 
than 15 minutes and retail prices plunged 
appropriately. The calculator chip is now 
being made by nearly a dozen semicon- 
ductor manufacturers, since no single 
company holds the exclusive rights to 
it nor to the technology. In fact, most 
companies in this business have cross- 
licensing agreements that give each of 
them the right to use the others’ technol- 
ogy. This has heightened retail compet 
tion and lowered prices even further. 

In fact, the competitive arena is so 
crowded that selecting а calculator has 
become as complicated as picking out 
stereo components. As recently as last 
Christmas, the decision was much easier. 
Nearly all the hand-held models then did 
the same basic job—adding, subtracting, 
multiplying and dividing—with only a 
few additional variations. But with this 
fall’s flood of second-generation models 
has come an ever-widening variety of fea- 
tures and prices. Those who waited will 
find lower price tags than ever before, 
plus a lengthy list of options that puts 
even Detroit to shame. 

Pocket models seem to cluster in 
three basic price ranges: The simplest 
machines—those that add, subtract, mul- 
tiply and divide—cost between $60 and 


$70. These have accounted for the vast 
majority of sales to date and would have 
cost $100-$120 a year ago. If your primary 
interest is in balancing your checkbook 
and avoiding long division, one of these 
will more than fill your needs. For a few 
dollars more, many such machines now 
offer a special key to quickly calculate 
percentages useful for investors and for 
those who do their own income taxes. 

For checkbook balancers, a six-digit 
readout is usually adequate, since it 
handles numbers up to 9999.99. Anyone 
who has that much in his checking ac- 
count can well afford a more substantial 
machine, but even the cheapest routinely 
provide eight digits, which is as much ac- 
curacy as any but the most compulsive 
person ever require. Ten, 12 and 
even 14 digits, while available and lovely 
to look at, are really useful only to census 
takers and pure mathematicians. 

A new class of $80-$120 machines is 
being promoted this fall by manufactur- 
ers who hope that buyers will pay more 
for calculators that include a memory. 
For many types of problems—especially 
the more complicated ones—a memory is 
worth the extra cost. But it really does 
nothing the user couldn't do with a 
cheaper machine and a pencil. 

Those who won't settle for less than the 
best can choose from а range of special- 
purpose machines whose prices go from 
$120 to $400. These arc ically pocket 
computers, yielding answers for up to 
100 types of complex math problems. 
They can do anything that slide rules 
and log tables do (and then some)— 
and they are quicker, more accurate and 
more fun, providing the cube root of 
your age as quickly as you punch the 
keys. Hewlett-Packard’s HP-35, for ex- 
ample, can perform an almost limitless 
number of trigonometric, logarithmic, ex- 
ponential and square-root functions—all 
accurate to ten digits. Its price was recent 
ly reduced to $295. 

Hewlett-Packard's latest entry, the 
HP45, is by far the jazziest of all hand- 
held calculators. In addition to doing 
everything the HP-35 can do, this $: 
model performs all sorts of decimal-to- 
metric conversions—cet 
es, kilograms to pounds, liters to gallons, 
and so on. Hewlett-Packard also makes a 
specialized machine of interest primarily 
to bond salesmen. This one (Model HP- 
80, around $400) will give answers to any 
question you can ask involving relation 
ships between time and money. Its memo- 
ry even includes a 200-year calendar. And 
for those who are worried about bulging 
pockets and are willing to pay a price to 
avoid them, there's the clair Execu- 
tive, a British machine only three eighths 
of an inch thick. It weighs two and a half 

(continued on page 248) 


eters to inch- 


PLAYBOY 


studying an advertisement with great 
concentration. 

"You don't approve of them for men," 
said the man. "In fact, you consider them 


insisted the man. 
miss the entire U.S. officer corps just 


Bunting closed the magazine. It would 
be 40 minutes before they landed in 
Toronto. If he couldn't break off the con- 
versation, perhaps he could redirect it. 
"Youan Army man?" he asked. 

“Not all warriors wear uniforms,” ob- 
served. his traveling companion. "Some 
don the black parachute to fight with 
invisible ink, false mustaches, code books 
and microdots behind the lines.” 

Bunting grinned with disbelief. 
“You're a spy.” 

“Did I say that?” protested the man in 
a whisper, his eyes flitting from side to 
side. 

“But I guess if you were, you wouldn't 
admit it,” said Bunting thoughtfully. 

The man narrowed his eyes and nod- 
ded with admiration. “And to think I 
almost underestimated you for despising 
my ring.” 

Bunting laughed modestly. “I'm just 
not big on bugs.” 

"The man cocked an eyebrow. "You 
despise the bee?” he asked with chill 
astonishment. "Symbol of industry. Em- 
blem of the great Napoleon Bonaparte 
himself, a military genius who overcame 
the physical handicap of shortness to be- 
come the Emperor of France, cradle of 
Western culture? You" He hung his 
head, too moved to go on. After a mo- 
ment, he said, “I apologize for my little 
outburst. I feel things deeply, you see. 
1 imagine your generation considers that 
old-fashioned.” He sighed. “In addition, 
I've been recently visited by adversities.” 
He slipped the ring off his slender finger 
and held it up for display. “Is your man- 
hood so insecure that wearing this ring 
would make you feel effeminate?” he 
asked, taking Bunting by the wrist. 

“Of course not,” said Bunting. 

“Good,” said the man and, sliding the 
ring onto Bunting’s plump, white ring 
finger, he forced it over the knuckle. 

“Heyl” hissed Bunting through his 
teeth. 


handsome.” Bun 
pull the ring off 
man, “I wouldn't consider selling, but 
1 have had reverses.” 

Red-faced, Bunting balled his fist 
around the finger and tugged. “Listen,” 
he panied, “I don't want to buy your 
damned ring, understand?” 

“Perhaps if I told you something of its 
history.” offered the man. “It was crafted 


144 in the Seventeenth Century by Ibrahim 


of Ferrara at the request of Rhea, Count- 
ess d'Iverno, who” 

"Miss?" said Bunting, following a pass- 
ing stewardess. "Perhaps you can help 
me. I've gotten gentleman's ring 
stuck on my finger. 

A few minutes later, Bunting was back 
in his seat, the ring still in place. “Did 
she try soap?" asked the man. When 
Bunting nodded, the man shook his 
head. “Here in North America, you con- 
sider soap the answer to everything. But 
look, your knuckle is swollen. Give it а 
rest for a bit. Listen to the story of the 
ring.” When Bunting settled back fret- 
fully, the man continued: “Now, two of 
the symptoms of the growing madness of 
Lorenzo, Count d'Iverno, were his cold- 
ness toward his beautiful wife, Rhea, and 
a fear of being poisoned, which haunted 
his waking hours. Desperate and deter- 
mined to secretly administer her husband 
a love potion, the countess commissioned 
Ibrahim, the hunchbacked goldsmith, to 
make this ring with a compartment that 
opened by a spring to hold the drug. But 
Ibrahim conceived a great passion for his 
lovely customer. She, of course, rejected 
his declaration as grotesque. In a rage, 
the scorned hunchback showed the ring 
to Lorenzo and told him that the countess 
plotted to poison him. Lorenzo's baroque 
imagination concocted this fiendish re- 
venge: "The rings mechanism was rede- 
signed so that when the compartment 
was sprung, a deadly poisoned needle 
would bite deep into the finger that wore 
the ring. And so the Countess Rhea died 
of the sting of the bee. But not before she 
had told her husband of her real intent. 
Realizing the treachery of the hunch- 
back, Lorenzo burst into his atelier, 
forced him to deny his God and slew him 
with a dagger. Then, mad with grief or 
what have you, he threw himself on the 
swords of the countess’ vengeful brothers 
and so perished. Perhaps you're familiar 
with Monterossi's opera based оп this 
story, now remembered only for its over- 
ture.” He hummed a few bars of music. 

Bunting smiled uneasily. "It isn’t 
loaded, is it? I mean, there’s no danger 
of it going off by accident?” 

“Before I answer your first question, 
tell me this,” said the man. “Аге there 
still situations where death is better than 
dishonor?’ 

“Like ‘Give me liberty or give me 
death?" asked Bunting, 

“Spoken like a true patroit," said the 
man. "And other examples readily sug- 
gest themselves. For the ladies, the pos- 
sibility of a fate more horrible than 
death. For myself, the constant, hellish 
fear of betraying my country and com- 
rades in the dank interrogation cells 
deep in the bowels of secret-police head- 
quarters. So. of course. the ring is loaded. 
But it can't go off by accident." He took 


Bunting's wrist. “Here,” he said, touching 
the left wing of the bee with his finger 
“This is the safety catch. While 
on, the ring is just a ring. But now. 
There was an audible click when he 
pressed the ring. "Now it's a lethal weap- 
on.” When Bunting stiffened, the man 
clamped down hard on his wrist. "But 
what are you afraid of? If you are who 
you say you аге. why would I trigger it?” 
“What do you mean: if Lam who I say 
1 am?" demanded Bunting. “My name's 
Bunting. I buy things cheap in New York 
and sell them dear in Toranto, and vice 
vel y 


"Ingenious," said the man. "But sup- 
pose, just suppose that you were really 
Inspector Buckingham, the energetic and 
smiling chief of Canadian counterintelli- 
gence who is known in the world of 
espionage by the code name Bucky 
Beaver. And suppose again," he smiled, 
“that I was your deadliest adversary, 
Colonel Marco, the Albanian master 
spy, code name Big Bad Wolf. And sup- 
pose that inscribed on that celebrated 
photographic memory of yours were the 
secret plans for the Royal Canadian 
Naval Magneto." 

Bunting gave a nervous laugh. “That 
sounds like something out of the 
Thirties.” 

The man nodded. “A shrewd people, 
the Canadians. Bland and colorless on 
the surlace. But underneath, they're steel. 
Steel and pure adamantine intelligence.” 
He tapped the ring for emphasis. 

"I wish you wouldn't do that," said 
Bunting. 

“TI bet you do," smiled the man. 
"Anyway, there the Canadians sit with 
the deadliest weapon afloat, one that will 
give them complete mastery of the Great 
Lakes, and they name it the Royal Ca 
nadian Naval Magneto. Why? So you'll 
laugh like you just did and think it can't 
be anything serious. But, as I was saying, 
let's suppose you are Bucky Beaver and 
I the Big Bad Wolf and I have this ring 
on your finger that I can trigger at my 
pleasure. Then I bet you'd be more than 
willing to draw the secret plans for me.” 

Bunting turned white. He jumped up 
and bolted back toward the toilets. The 
man followed and crowded into the tiny 
compartment after him. He watched over 
Bunting’s shoulder as the young man 
poured water on the ring. "Good," he 
approved. "Cold water makes the metal 
expand. Or is it hot water? Physics was 
never my subject.” 

Bunting, his forehead beaded with 
sweat, was struggling to force off the ring 
without touching the bee. “Listen,” he 
isted, "I'm not your Bucky Beaver." 
You?" laughed the man. “I should say 
not. Look at those chubby cheeks, that 
baby fat. those soft hands. Inspector 
(continued on page 221) 


article 
By RICHARD HAMMER 


and so it came to pass 
that booze was banned, 
Sree enterprise flourished 
and the sound of 

the tommy gun was heard 
fhrough the land 


OF ORCANIZ 


ә - 


sy 1920 Frankie Yale ка 
grown rich, powerful and al. 
most respectable. He owned 
the Harvard. Inn at Cone 
Island and the Yale С! 

Manufacturing Company (his 
portrait was on every box. 
with the cigars selling three for 
50 cents, carried in every store 
in Brooklyn, and Frastkie Yale 
was the generic term for a 
lousy smoke), had pieces of race 
horses, prize fighters, night 
clubs and assorted other enter- 
prises, legitimate and illegiti- 
mate. He owned a fleet of fast 
boats and when Prohibition 
came, he turned them loose 
for quick trips out beyond the 
three- or 12-mile limit, to what 
became known as “rum row,” 


ы 


о Q 
2 


to offload’ good whiskey 
shippeg тот Europe and the 
Canpheen and run it through 
the Coast Guard blockades to 
shore. He owned trucks for 
shipping the whiskey to speak- 
easies and bootleggers any- 
re and everywhere. When 
the Mafia moved in on the Si. 
cilian betterment and charita- 
ble organization known as the 
Unione Siciliana, he became 
its president, giving him iñ- 
creased power and stature as 
an ethnic leader. But what 
Yale prized most was his funer- 
al parlor. "I'm an undertak- 
er," he would often say. And, 
indeed. that was what he was, 
maintaining a crew of guns for 
hire to any paying customer. 


D 


54, 


ED 


yA 


dba 
we 


v 


A call came early in 1920 
from his old friend and one- 
time Harvard Inn partner, 
Johnny Torrio. There was a 
job to be done in Chicago and 
the price was $10,000. 
not only willing to 
said he would do the job per- 
ks iM COS a 
would make Torrio the king 
of the rackets in the nation's 
second city. 

The 18th Amendment gave 
Torrio the opportunity he and 
others had long been wait. 
ing for. Maybe the politicians 
could outlaw booze, but all the 
laws and all the pious pro- 
nouncements were not going 
to stop thirsty people from 
finding ways to buy and drink 


the stuff. And Torrio was de- 
termined to be there offering 
them the opportunities. There 
were plenty of loopholes in the 
Volstead Act for a persevering 
and farsighted man to make 
use of. A certain amount of liq- 
uor was still going to be made 
legally, kept in bonded ware 
houses and released upon pres- 
entation of certificates; such 
certificates could be bought or 
counterfeited. Doctors would 
be able to prescribe liquor 
for medicinal purposes, and 
many a doctor could be bought 
and. millions of such liq 
uor prescriptions accumulated, 
Millions more could be coun- 
terfeited. There were 18,700 
miles of unguarded borders 
surrounding the United States 
across which alcohol could be 
smuggled with little difficulty. 
Every bottle of liquor, when 
cut and reblended, then re- 
bottled and relabeled (with 


During the Twenties, Mayor William Hale “Big Bill the Builder" Thompson made Chicago the Midwestern 
mecca of booze and vice, which, he believed, were the secrets of civic prosperity. The era culminated in the 
Saint Valentine's Day Massacre (below)—seven men lined up ond cut down in a North Clark Street garage. 


ILLUSTRATION BY KUNIO HAGIO AFTER THOMAS HART BENTON CIRCA 1930 


Below: “Machine Gun” Jack McGurn was one of those suspected of the S. 


Valentine's Day Massocre 


of 1929. Seven years later, to the day, he walked into a bowling сеу an Chicago's North Side and become 


machine-gunned Jock McGurn- 


hot in the back by gunmen with Thompsons and a poetic sense of revenge. 


counterfeit bottles and labels 
indistinguishable from the 
real thing) could be turned 
into three, four or more and 
sold for far higher prices than 
before. A quart of Scotch, for 
nstance, went for four dol 
ars at sea, was sold by Yale 
and other rumrunners for $14 
and was then turned into 
а three-quart multiple that 
went for $42 or more. In a 
speak-easy, a shot sold for 75 
cents, while in pre Prohibition 
days, a shot of uncut Scotch 
had sold for 
of gallons of liquor h 
stored away for a yea 
ti ation of Prohil 
ow about to come 


they were 
out of hiding. In the back 
woods and ın the back 

of the ghettos, there were thou: 


sands of homegrown stills 
Many hard-drinking Itali. 
Poles and Irishmen had long 


made their own n beer and 


The Unione Siciliona wos 
one of Chicago's main sources. 
af raw alcohol. Members were 
issued well-made copper 

stills and the necessary 
ingredients, then instructed 

the not-too-fine art of 
cooking off a few gallons 

of ethanol a week. It was a 
good woy to eam extra money 
at home in one’s spare time. 


A DIRECTORY OF NOTED CHICAGO BUSINESSMEN 


Colosimo lacked corporate 


‘ambition and was kicked upstairs. 


O'Banion regretted his remark 
“To hell with them 


Torrio sensibly moved to New 
York for the sake of his health. 


Moron arrived lote at his own 
Saint Valentine's Day party. 


Copone, nailed on taxes, found 
the pen mightier than the sword. 


Weiss's North Side leadership 
was terminated by tommy guns. 


liquor. Given the right price, 
they would be willing to in- 
crease output and turn it over 
for resale. And near beer was 
still legal, though it was first 
necessary to make the real 
stuff, chen dealcoholize it 

So the liquor was there, 
waiting. And it was apparent 
to many as early as January 17, 
1920, that there were plenty 
of customers for it, that the 
Noble Experiment, as Herbert 
Hoover would later call it, 
adn't a chance of working. 
(Drinking in the years ahead 
would become a pastime even 
in the White House, where 
President Warren G. Harding, 
g office a year after 
Prohibition, kept a second- 
floor bar and maintained his 
own personal bootlegger, Elias 
Mortimer) The law went into 
effect at midnight on the 16th. 
The first illegal drink, some- 
one at the time noted, was sold 
about a minute later. And the 
first recorded violations of the 
law took place, as it happened, 
in Chicago before an hour had 
passed. Six masked gunmen 
drove a truck into a Chicago 
railroad switchyard, tied and 
gagged the watchman, locked 
siv engineers in a shed and then. 
broke open two freight cars 
and drove away with $100,000 
worth of whiskey marked ron 
MEDICINAL USE ONLY. Almost 
simultaneously, another Chi- 
саро gang hijacked a truck 
loaded with medicinal whiskey 
and began a trend that would 
last through the dry years. A 
third group broke into a 
bonded warehouse and made 
off with four barrels of whis- 
key. It was just the beginning. 

But Torrio realized some- 
thing more than just that bcer 
and liquor were available and. 
thar there were plenty of cus 
tomers. He saw that at last the 
underworld could win a meas- 
ure of respectability; it could 
move in on something that 
people wanted avidly and be- 
come the sole supplicr. He also 
realized that the law would be 
enforced laxly. Initially, he 
had not been so sure, con- 
cerned that a Federal law 
would be enforced strenuously 


Dismayed by the infidelity of 
some of his most trusted gunmen, 
Al Capone invited them to a 
gala banquet at which he admon- 
ished them with a baseball bat, 


ILLUSTRATION BY SEYMOUR FLEISHMAN AFTER PAUL CADMUS CIRCA 1070 


by Federal agents. But political sound- 
ings soon persuaded him that he had 
nothing to fear. All those charged with 
enforcement would be political ap- 
pointees and would be earning only 
about $1500 a year. And, in Chicago and 
its surroundings, there would be only 134 
of them. If political hacks—underpaid 
and thinly spread ones, at that—were 
going to man the bureau, the feasibility 
of bribery was great. 

The only obstacle to Torrios major 
move into bootlegging was his mentor, 
Big Jim Colosimo. Bootlegging interested 
him hardly at all. More and more in the. 
years before Prohi п, Colosimo had 
been turning the management of his em- 
pire over to Torrio while he devoted him- 
self to other, more gracious pursuits. His 
café, Colosimo's, had become a favorite 
watering spot for Chicagoans; he had cul- 
tivated visiting celebrities, who would 
join him at his table; he had developed a 
passion for opera and was often seen with 
Caruso, Titta Ruffo, Lina Cavalieri and 
others when they were in town; he was 
adding to his already noted collection of 
diamonds and other gems, which gave 
him the sometime nickname “Diamond 
Jim.” But more than anything, there 
was his new love, Dale Winter, a onetime 
choir singer whose singing and acting 
lessons, even concerts, he paid for, and on 
whom he poured treasure. In 1920, Colo- 
simo had become so taken with Miss Win- 
ter that he divorced his wife—Torrio's 
cousin, Victoria Moresco—and married 
the singer. "It's your funeral, 
rio when Colosimo told him the 
news. 

It was. Colosimo would permit Torrio 
to handle only enough booze to stock 
their whorehouses and speak-easies—to 
satisfy the d 5 of the customers. Colo- 
simo was afraid of the Feds and nothing 
Torrio said could persuade him that they 
could be bought. Blocked, Torrio made 
his phone call to his friend Frankie Yale 
in Brooklyn. 

Late in the afternoon of May 11, 1920. 
in response to a request from Torrio, 
Colosimo left his bride of tess than one 
month for a trip down to his café, There, 
he was to await and pay for a shipment of 
whiskey for the business. Yale was waiting 
for him and Killed him with a bullet in 
the back of the head. (An eyewitness de- 
scribed Yale to the police, but must have 
had second thoughts on his way to New 
York. When confronted with Yale, he 
refused to identify him and was put on a 
train back to Chicago.) 

When they broke the news to Torrio, 
he cried, something no one could ever 
remember him doing. “Big Jim and me 
were like brothers,” he mourned, Then he 
arranged a fitting final tribute for three 
days later. It was the prototype of the 
Chicago gangland funeral, and all 
those that followed would be measured 
against it. Colosimo was laid to rest in a 
150 $7500 silver-and-mahogany casket; scores 


PLAYBOY 


of cars filled with flowers followed the 
hearse; so, too, did 5000 mourners, in- 
cluding, as honorary or active pall- 
bearers: two Congressmen, three judges, 
one soon-to-be Federal judge, ten alder- 
men, a state representative and an army 
of other politicians and community lcad- 
ers. Chicago mayor William Hale "Big 
Bill" Thompson was otherwise occupied, 
but he sent along personal representa- 
tives and his heartfelt condolences, for 
Colosimo had been a rock in the Repub- 
lican Party and had brought out huge 
pluralities for Thompson and his G.O.P. 
cohorts. Torrio, one of the most demon- 
strably emotional of the mourners, was 
taken aside for personal words with most 
of the famous, and on the way back 
from the cemetery he rode in a private 
limousine, Pallbearer “Bathhouse” John 
Coughlin, a First Ward alderman, 
marked Colosimo's passing thusly: “Jim 
wasn't a bad fellow. You know what he 
did? He fixed up an old farmhouse for 
broken-lown prostitutes. They rested up 
and got back in shape and he never 
charged them a cent.” The only sour 
note in the occasion was struck by Arch- 
bishop (later Cardinal) George Munde- 
lein. Colosimo, he ruled, could not be 
buried in consecrated ground—because 
he had divorced and remarried. In lieu of 
dergy, “Bathhouse” John Coughlin led 
the prayers. 

Jim Colosimo was laid to rest. Some- 
how or other, his fortune evaporated be- 
tween the day of his murder and the 
time, a week later, when a search of his 
estate was made. In addition to the mil- 
lions he was rumored to have socked 
away, he had supposedly left home on 
that fatal day with $150,000 in cash in his 
pockets. But the search turned up only 
$67,500 in cash, $8894 in jewels and 15 
barrels of whiskey. Nobody ever came up 
with a satisfactory explanation for what 
happened to the rest, Dale Winter, after 
а period of mourning, returned to New 
York City to pursue a stage career. She 
took over the lead in the hit musical 
Irene on Broadway, toured with it for 
some years and then, in 1924, remarried 
and later faded into obscurity. 

So Torrio was the boss of the Colosimo 
empire. But his eyes were on all of Chi- 
cago. To control it, three steps had to be 
: The aid and connivance of the 
ans and the police had to be as- 
; the source of supply of. at first, 
beer (for Torrio was convinced that Chi- 
саро, а workingman's town, had an in- 
satiable thirst for beer and a lesser one 
for the hard stuff) and then liquor had to 
be gaincd; and unity had to be brought 
to the multiplicity of gangs at loose 
throughout the city. 

Winning the police and the politicians 
was simple. Their cooperation had been 
bought in the past for prostitution, gam- 
bling and other rackets and there was no 
reason to suspect that more of the same 
could not be purchased. But now a de- 


velopment loomed that would have a 
profound effect on the future of the na- 
tion (for, almost simultaneously, parallels 
were occurring in New York under Ar- 
nold Rothstein and elsewhere). Until 
Prohibition, the gangster was generally 
circumscribed by the unsavoriness of hi 
calling and limited to his own neighbor- 
hood. He was the servant of the politi- 
cian, to whom he paid protection money 
and for whom he performed services in a 
variety of causes. But Prohibition cast 
an aura of semi-legitimacy over the or- 
ganized underworld, which provided a 
product the public desired and could get 
nowhere elsc. So the gangster moved out 
into the world. He was now involved in 
a business that had become one of the 
nation's largest, grossing billions of 
dollars annually—a Government study 
would later claim that the public was 
putting $10,000,000 a day into the boot- 
leggers’ pockets. With all that money at 
his command, his power and influence 
increased geometrically. Though still 
dependent on the politicians and the po- 
lice for protection, that dependency took 
a new turn. Now the gangster, with his 
wealth and status, was becoming the mas- 
ter, and the politician and the policeman 
his servants. “Sixty percent of my police- 
men are in the bootleg business,” Chicago 
police chief Charles C. Fitzmorris would 
say later, and some would think his 
estimate low. 

The politicians were even more de- 
pendent. Torrio and others realized chat 
it was their money and their muscle that 
kept a man in office, so they acted accord- 
ingly, forcing the political bosses to come 
to them abjectly seeking favors. The 
gangster’s control over the city halls and 
over the very life of the cities reached so 
far that by 1928, such an upright and im- 
peccable public figure as Frank Loesch, 
president of the Chicago Crime Commis- 
sion and sworn enemy of the underworld, 
felt it necessary to beg for an audience 
with Al Capone to seek his assistance to 
ensure an honest civic election—and Ca- 
pone, with the munificence of a ЖО 
gave it. But toward the political hireli 
the gangster felt only contempt, parallel, 
ing, perhaps, the contempt the politician 
had always shown him. "There's one 
thing worse than a crook,” Capone would 
say later, “and that’s a crooked man in a 
big political job. A man who pretends 
he's enforcing the law and is really mak- 
ing dough out of somebody breaking it; a 
self-respecting hoodlum hasn't any use 
for that kind of fellow—he buys them 
like he'd buy any article necessary to his 
trade, but he bates them in his heart.” 

So it was no hard task to control those 
who governed and policed the city. And, 
of course, over it all in Chicago there was 
the figure of Mayor Thompson, whose 
fervent and oftprodaimed devotion to 
country, city and motherhood was per- 
haps overshadowed only by his devotion 

(continued оп page 170) 


Sekeh 


“All right, what's going on? All of a sudden it’s so quiet up here.” 


THE LIBRARY had books, of course, 
and a lot of gray, open space and 
only a few people, and Will thought 
instantly, This is going to be the best. 
room to be in jor that whole damned 
six months. On one wall was a cheap 
Matisse print, an odalisque. There 
was a funny smell to the room. 

The prisoner behind the desk was 


a sure winner 
and a born loser 
clash on a battlefield 
of sixty-four squares 
fiction. 

By WALTER TEVIS 


small, middle-aged, sandy-haired, 
with tight lines around his mouth. 
There were papers and books on 
the desk but no chessboard. Will 
walked over, waited for another pris- 
oner to finish checking out a law- 
book; then said to the man behind 
the desk, "Are you Findlay Baskin?" 

The man blinked. "Do you want 


to check out a book?" His voice was 
toneless. 

Will cleared his throat. "I under- 
stand your F.LD.E. rating is over 
two thousand. 

The other man’s expression did 
not change. “What do the letters 
F.LD.E. stand for?" 

Will began to feel better. He felt 


a touch of anger at the man's little 
game, and anger was always his an- 
tidote for nervousness. “It stands 
for Fédération Internationale des 
Echecs" He gave the enunciation 
his full City College, minorin- 
French nasality, thinking, If this 
man likes to play that kind of 
conversational chess... 


The man looked toward the cheap 
Matisse print on the wall for a mo- 
ment and said, "I'm Findlay Baskin. 
My rating is two-three-four—oh— 
two. Or wa: 

"That would make him number 40 
or 50 in the country. And then Will 
said, "Was?" 

Baskin looked back from the 


CONSTRUCTION Ву TOM. 


TAERLER 
PHOTOGRAPHY BY RU 


АТОМА 


PLAYBOY 


154 


picture and into Will's face. “I've hardly 
had the opportunity to play in tourna- 
ments for three years.” 

“Three years? And I never heard. 

Baskin smiled for the first time, and 
smile was a surprisingly pleasant one. 
m not Fischer, you know. My partic- 
ular crime managed to draw a quarter 
column in the Times.” 

Will started to ask him what that crime 
had been, but he wasn't yet sure of prison 
protocol about that kind of question. “I 
embezzled, myself," he said. And. 
“My rating is eighteen eighty-five. 

Baskin looked at him thoughtfully for 
what seemed a long time. A couple of 
aging cons came into the room, whisper- 
ing, sat at a table and began to flip 
through magazines. Then Baskin reached 
into his pocket, took out a quarter, spun 
it on the desk in front of him and then, 
like swatting a fly, fattened it with his 
right hand. “Heads or tails?" he said. 

Will shrugged mentally. "Tails." 

Baskin lifted the hand, revealing heads. 
"That makes you black." And then, no 
longer smiling, "Pawn to king four." 


Will stared at him. "Where's the 
board?" 

"No board," Baskin said. "Pawn to 
king four.” 


Will looked around him, at the six or 
seven quiet cons in the room, and then 
he said, “OK, but Гус never donc this 
before. Pawn to queen's bishop four.” 

“Don't make excuses,” Baskin said. “I'd 
beat you on a board just as easily. 
Baskin had him mated in 17 moves, 
th a bishop that seemed to come from 
nowhere. Will had blundered away two 
pawns and a knight anyway by that time, 
just from being unable to keep the 
imaginary board clear in his head. He 
started to ask Baskin, with irritation, why 
they couldn't use a board; but instead he 
said, "Now I'm white. Pawn to king 
four..." 

It took Baskin 24 moves to mate him 
this time, and Will made no serious blun- 
ders. Once he got that picture of a nice, 
sharp board, with dean-cut, Staunton- 
pattern pieces on it, it wasn't too diffi 
cult. He was even begini to like it, did 
not even mind losing, which was inevita- 
ble, anyway. He had lost to pros before, 
in his hustling days in college, and had 
learned to take it. And of course he had 
never played a grand master before 
There was no real damage to his pride 
from losing, because the real game was 
just to see how long he could hang in 
there. And maybe learn something. 

After the second game he said, "Anoth- 
ег?" and Baskin pointed to the library 
clock. It was 9:30. 

"Here," Baski | and he reached 
under the k and pulled out a fat book. 
“Read this." The book was Modern Chess 
Openings, the bible on the subject. 

“Tve read it.” That wasn't altogether 


true: but he had read most of the main 
variations of the Sicilian defense—the 
Najdorf, the dragoi 

“Then memorize i 

“Memorize it?” 

“What else are you going to do in your 
cell? Dance?” 

Will grinned, taking the book. "OK. 
TH uy." 

“And later,” Baskin said, “I'll let you 
have the Fischer games book. And the 
Petrosian. And the Spassky.” 

“Jesus Christ!" 

“Most chess is memory.” 

“I didn't mean that. I meant, what 
kind of a prison library is this?” 

Baskin looked expressionless again. 
“Who do you think orders the books for 
it?" he said. 


Baskin said. 


They played verbal chess every evening 
for a week before Will got his first draw 
game. And then a stalemate. And, finally, 
after three weeks and over 50 games, 
Baskin blundered and left а rook hang- 
ing. Will, his voice trembling as he called 
the move, snapped it off with a knight 
fork. And traded the grand master down 
until he, Will, got to say, for thc first time, 
that lovely ancient and potent word, 
“Checkmate.” Checkmate. Shah mat: The 
king is dead. 

“Well.” Baskin said, “you've been 
doing your homework.” Then he reached 
beneath the librarian’s desk and pro- 
duced a rolled-up cloth chessboard and a 
box of large, Stauntonstyle pieces. “And 
for doing your homework, this is the 
reward.” 

“Beautiful,” Will said, staring at the 
set. After over a month of playing on that 
board in his mind, he felt as Mozart must 
have felt when at last hc heard the orches 
tra play the sounds that he had been hear- 
ing in his head. Still, it was possible that 
the real geniuses preferred the pure and 
ideal music of their games. But to him, a 
man who loved women and food and 
freedom and several other substantial 
things more than chess, the set, with its 
cylindrical rooks and its dutiful, stubby 
pawns and its solidiy—right there on the 
table as well as in his head and his memo- 
ries—was a solid, existential joy. 

They set the pieces up wordlessly, in 2 
kind of mutual reverence, and began to 
play. Outside the room, in the lights of 
brilliant lamps around which night in- 
sects Buttered, guards patrolled. Four 
hundred other prisoners watched Mary 
Tyler Moore on television. Over the 
chessboard in the library only a dim 60- 
watt bulb shone, but it made sharp shad- 
ows of the pieces: king, rook, pawn, 
queen, knight. 


In two months Will had memorized all 
of the useful lines of play and counter- 


play in the Sicilian defense and in the 
queen's gambit, games that Baskin, 
strangely, kept playing almost exclu- 


sively. Will had learned to play in his 
head, and during the morning-exercise 
walks in the prison yard, he would go 
over some of the Fischer-Spassky games, 
the Reykjavik ones, in his mind. As а 
bright child in New Haven, he had lived 
chess for several years, but never before 
like this. 

Once, during a game in the library, 
while they were playing with a double- 
faced chess clock, playing a fierce, 20-min- 
ute game, and Will was wavering between 
setting up a bishop uncover or giving 
check with a knight, Baskin reached for- 
ward and stopped both clocks. Then he 
said, "How do you like prison life, Will?” 

Will shook his head, trying to break the 
spell the move choice had over him. 
“The food is terrible," he "and 
most of the men are animals. But it's 
not quite so bad as Га expected.” And 
then, almost in appeal, “But it all makes 
me so goddamned nervous. . . ." 

“Yes,” Baskin said, "it makes you nerv- 
‘ous, And chess makes you nervous, too. 
You should have taken the check with the 
knight. It loses you nothing. Then, while 
1 was getting out of check, you could have 
made up your mind about the bishop- 
and-rook combination." 

Will smiled weakly. "Being nervous 
doesn’t necessarily’ 

“How do you think Fischer would take 
to prison life? Would he cower at the 
guards?” 

He knew what Baskin meant. He 
didn't exactly cower at guards, but he 
knew he was running scared. “Well, 
Fischer would complain about the light 
ing in the cells.” 

“He would have confidence,” Baskin 
said. “Which you, Will, sorely lack. Do 
you know what Bogolyuboy said, when 
somebody asked him whether he pre- 
ferred playing white or black?” 

“No.” 

“He said, ‘It makes utterly no differ- 
ence. When I play white, 1 win because I 
am playing white; when I play black, I 
win because I am Bogolyubov. 

Will laughed out loud. “OK,” he said, 
“I need confidence." 

After three months, Will was finally 
able to get himself transferred to the li- 
brary, where there was now time to play 
Baskin as many as eight games a day. He 
was lucky to win one out of the eight; but 
he was learning. 

With a chess clock, they would some- 
times play five- and ten-minute games, as 
well as the standard tournamentstylc 
two-hour ones. The short games made for 
more nerveracking play, but they pre- 
vented dawdling and made for fast think- 
ing. And with the clock, you didn't have 
to play touch move—where, if you so 
much as touch a ріссе with your sleeve, 
you have to move that piece. Instead, they 
used the rule where the move isn't final 

(continued on page 168) 


|| DECIDED a long time ago that 
there are only two essential 
and immutable rules of pleas- 
ure travel: (1) IE you kind of 
think you might like to go, go. 
(2) Keep your eye on your lug- 
gage. My ability to abide strict: 
ly by the. first, rule has been 
somewhat restricted, of course, 
by the bankruptcy laws of 
the state of New York, but I 
do my best, bolstered by the 
knowledge that I have never 
regretted a trip to anywhere 
and that I am still trying to fig- 
ure out why I passed up an op- 
portunity to. visit Alexandria 
in 1958 when I had gone as far 
as Athens anyway. (Maybe I 
had gone only as far as Rome, 
but it obviously would have 
been silly not to go on to Ath- 
епз as long as I had gone as far 
as Rome) My observance of 
the second rule of travel is 
somewhere between strict and 
maniacal. I am likely to hang 
back in the line of passengers 
boarding a plane in, say, Mon 
treal, not from any fear of 
flying (several years ago, I dis- 
covered that I could prevent 
the plane I was flying on from 


THE $ARONG 
COMES 
FROM $АК$ 


article 


By CALVIN TRILLIN 


154 


picture and into Will's face. “Гуе hardly 
had the opportunity to play in tourna- 
ments for three years” 

“Three years? And I never heard. 

Baskin smiled for the first time, and 
the smile was a surprisingly pleasant one. 
"I'm not Fischer, you know. My partic 
ular crime managed to draw a quarter 
column in the Times. 

Will started to ask him what that crime 
had been, but he wasn't yet sure of prison 
protocol about that kind of question. “I 
embezzled, myself,” he said. And then, 
“My rating is eighteen eighty-five.” 

Baskin looked at him thoughtfully for 
what seemed a long time. A couple of 
aging cons came into the room, whisper- 
ing. sat at a table and began to flip 
through magazines. Then Baskin reached 
into his pocket, took out a quarter, spun 

on the desk in front of him and then, 

swatting a fly, flattened it with his 
ht hand. "Heads or tails?" he said. 
shrugged mentally. x 

Baskin lifted the hand, revealing heads. 
“That makes you black.” And then, no 
longer smiling, "Pawn to king four." 

stared at him. "Where's the 


Will looked around him, at the six or 
seven quiet cons in the room, and then 
he said. “OK, but I've never done this 
before. Pawn to queen's bish 

Don't make excuses," Baskin sai 
beat you on a board just as casily. 


Baskin had him mated in 17 moves, 
with a bishop that seemed to come from 
nowhere. Will had blundered away two 
pawns and a knight anyway by that time, 
just from being unable to keep the 
imaginary board clear in his head. He 
started to ask Baskin. with irritation, why 
they couldn't use a board; but instead he 
said, "Now I'm white. Pawn to king 
four. . . .” 

It took Baskin 24 moves to mate him 
this time, and Will made no serious blun- 
ders. Once he got that picture of a nice, 
sharp board, with clean-cut, Staunton- 
pattern pieces on it, it wasn't too diffi- 
«ult. He was even beginning to like it, di 
not even mind losing, which was inevita- 
ble, anyway. He had lost to pros before, 
in his hustling days in college, and had 
learned to take it. And of course he had 
never played a grand master before. 
There was no real damage to his pride 
from losing, because the real game was 
just to see how long he could hang in 
there. And maybe learn somethi 

Alter the second game he said, “Anoth- 
er?" and Baskin pointed to the library 
clock. It was 9:30. 

“Here,” Baskin said, and he reached 
under the desk and pulled out a fat book. 
“Read this.” The book was Modern Chess 
Openings. the bible on the subject 

“I've read That wasn't altogether 


-n 


DECIDED a long time ago that 

there are only two essential 
and immutable rules of pleas- 
ure travel: (1) If you kind of 
think you might like to go, go. 
(2) Keep your eye on your lug- 
gage. My ability to abide strict- 
ly by the first rule has been 
somewhat restricted, of course, 
by the bankruptcy laws of 
the state of New York, but 1 
do my best, bolstered by the 
knowledge that І have never 
regretted a trip to anywhere 
and that I am still trying to fig- 
ure out why I passed up'an op- 
portunity to: visit Alexandria 
in 1958 when I had gone as far 
as Athens anyway. (Maybe I 
had gone only as far as Rome, 
but it obviously would have 
been silly'not to go on to Ath- 
ens as long as I had gone as far 
as Rome) My observance of 
the second’ rule of travel is 
somewhere between strict and 
maniacal, I am likely to hang 
back in the line of passengers 
boarding а plane in, say, Mon- 
treal, not from any fear of 
flying (several years ago, I dis- 
covered that I could prevent 
the plane I was flying on from 


THE sARONG 
COMES 
FROM SAKS 


article 


By CALVIN TRILLIN 


crashing by refusing to adjust my watch 
to the new time zone until we were on 
the ground, and I have used that method 
successfully ever since) but from the fear 
that unless I sce my suitcase physically 
lifted into the belly of the plane. I will 
have to fly all the way to Toronto gripped 
by the dread certainty that my luggage 
has been put on the nonstop to Caracas, 
Venezuela. I was the man you may have 
noticed at Kennedy Airport in New 
York tying to impress upon the TWA 
ticket agent my absolute certainty that. 
three suitcases, a typewriter and a gift 
package of homemade cream cheese with 
scallions would easily fit under my scat 
on a flight to San Francisco. That was 
also me you may have seen wrestling our 
family’s 500 pounds of luggage from some 
eager porter in an Italian airport—no 
burden being too heavy to bear if it pro- 
tects me from the possibility that the 
porter, crazed, perhaps, by a niggardly 
tip he received from a U.S. Marine 
colonel moments before, has been search- 
ing for some American luggage to toss 
into the reflecting pool in front of the 
International Arrivals building. All in 
all, I manage to do a lot of traveling, and 
I rarely lose my luggage more than once 
a month. 

For people who do a lot of traveling, it 
sometimes seems that the first rule of con- 
versation about travel is always to imply 
that any place anyone else is about to visit 
is ruined. “I suppose Sumbawa has about 
had it by now," the speaker will say, leav- 
ing the unspoken implication that he 
managed to get in a few idyllic Sumba- 
wan weeks before the place was overrun. 
There are people whose first response to 
being told that you are about to visit 
some outer island of the Marquesas is: 
“Pity about the Marquesas. I remember 
thinking years ago that if that semi- 
monthly prop service from Fiji ever start- 
ed, that would be it." American travelers 
live in constant fear that the places they 
are about to go have been ruined by 
the presence of too many people like 
themselves. 

Being ruined is not the same as being 
discovered. An old travel adage goes, 
“There are only a few remaining undis- 
covered places in the world, and none 
of them have enough clean towels." The 
economics governing hotel accommoda- 
tions in rarely visited places means that a 
comfortable hotel becomes economically 
feasible when the number of tourists in- 
creases to the point at which the reason 
for going to the place no longer exists. 
‘There are, of course, exceptions. Once, 
due to a fortuitous mechanical problem 
in what was then Air Polynesia's entire 
fleet of plane, my wife and I were forced 
to remain in the Kingdom of Tonga for a 
weck that I had planned to spend doing 
some fairly dismal work in Pago Pago— 
which is, despite the romance its name 
158 conjures, fairly dismal itself. The King- 


PLAYBOY 


dom of Tonga turned out to be a para- 
dise that had been made quite a bit 
cal a couple of years be- 
n of the im- 
tors expected 
for the coronation of King Taufaahau 
Tupou IV, the capital city of Nukualofa 
became blessed with the kind of first-rate 
hotel that would ordinarily not be built 
there were enough tourists to sup- 
port four or five boutiques and a Hertz 
agency. As a sort of bonus to the arrange- 
ment. the most splendid public functions 
in the kingdom were held in the hotel's 
outdoor dining room, so that the few 
overnight guests became included merely 
by showing up for dinner—a policy that 
permitted us to be present at the Miss 
Nukualofa contest and to cheer home as 
the winner a young woman who was 
sponsored by a local bakery and entered 
as Miss Friendly Island Biscuits. 

There is a theory among some heavy 
travelers—it is known as the Acapulco 
Law—that the last accessible undiscov- 
ered place was discovered sometime 
around the first or second week of August. 
1968 and was ruined by the middle of 
the following summer. According to those 
who believe in the Acapulco Law, there 
are so many tourists in so many places 
these days that the daily arrival in a town 
of eight tour buses, ling with Insta- 
matics, merely indicates that the town 
is more photographable and therefore 
probably more pleasant than a town that 
attracts only four tour buses daily. The 
law got its name from the belief chat the 
sophisticated people who used to go to 
Acapulco fled as the American Express 
tours thundered in, ran all around 
the world only to find themselves, at the 
most, three or four weeks ahead of the 
American Express tours, and finally re- 
turned to Acapulco on the theory that as 
long as they had to be in a place overrun 
with tourists anyway, they might as well 
be in one with decent weather and a di- 
rect flight to Los Angeles. According to 
devout believers in the Acapulco Law, 
the logical extension of believing a place 
desirable because there are no other tour- 
ists there is to save one's money all year 
for three weeks in Youngstown, Ohio—a 
plan that at least has the virtue of avoid- 
ing all the sophisticated people who still 
go to Acapulco. 

The Acapulco Law is tempting. Several 
years ago, when my wife and I were think- 
ing about spending some time in Malin- 
di, on the Kenyan shore of the Indian 
Ocean—a place that sounded rather re- 
mote to us, perhaps because we had never 
heard _of it until we arrived in East Af 
cathe response of people we knew in 
Nairobi was that Malindi would be all 
right if we didn't mind German package 
tours. I do think there are still a few un- 
discovered spots in the world, some of 
them pleasant enough to make a man for- 


get even his standards of towel nappiness. 
But, given the ordinary restrictions of 
time and money, practically any traveler 
has to do most of his traveling in a well- 
traveled place—and has to spend the two 
months before he leaves listening to his 
neighbor tell him that the place is com- 
pletely ruined. The neighbor. of course, 
has never made a systematic study of what 
makes some well-traveled places ruined 
nd what makes some of them as satisfy- 
ing as they were when nobody there ever 
heard of Kleenex. Fortunately, I have. 1 
have studied ruined cities and ruined vil- 
lages and ruined beach resorts and even 
ruined ruins. I have studied unruined 
versions of each. I can now reveal my 
theories, known collectively as the Rules 
of Ruination with an Index of Spoilation 
Factors. 


A SMALL TOWN Is EASIER TO RUIN 
THAN A LARGE CITY, AND ANY PLACE 
RECOMMENDED To YOU BY MORE THAN 
TWO PEOPLE AS "A QUAINT LITTLE 
FISHING VILLAGE" WAS RUINED IN 1959. 


One mination tipping point—the 
point at which the attractions a tourist is 
going to see exist mainly because he is 
going to see them—is obviously harder to 
reach in Paris than in a tiny village whose 
largest industry before discovery was a 
three-man gnocchi factory. The formula 
on ruination of the kind of place that is 
spoken of as a Quaint Little Fishi 
lage or a Charming Hill Town 
‘The number of cobblestones di 
the number of boutiques cannot, when 
multiplied by half of the resident potters, 
exceed the number of hotels in which the 
waiters speak English. The same results 
can be obtained by substituting a tenth of 
the English paperback books available 
for the number of boutiques, and the for- 
mula works equally well backward. 

Contrary to common belief, the best 
Mexican example of the small-town law 
of ruination is not Taxco, which 1 have 
always thought of not as a town but as a 
shopping center that happened to have 
had a particularly tasteful architect. (A 
sensitive traveler who spent more than 
two days in the center of Taxco, staring 
at the discreet hand-lettered signs on the 
freshly whitewashed buildings, could find 
himself yearning for the sight of a neon 
hamburger sign and an auto junk yard or 
two.) The best example, I think, is San 
Miguel de Allende, a colonial-era town in 
which a lot of the old houses have bees 
restored with the kind of authentic Mexi- 
can detail understood only by Texas oil- 
men with Italian interior decorators. A 
town that exists only to be preserved ends 
up, like Wonder Bread, tasting mainly 
of preservatives. Walking around San 
Miguel is like touring the set of a movie 
that has hired a couple of thousand Mex- 
ican extras to play Mexicans. Being 
quaindy ruined may not be as bad аз 

(continued on page 198) 


aybo; E = a a mixture 
rand E НАКЕ anthropology, 
mority’ best seller animation, fantasy 
into a unique film... and romance 


[I EE? | 0 4d 


ИШЕ 


s= —— = 


In one of a series of startling flashes 
through time thot characterize The 
Naked Ape, a Neanderthal cauple 
isstranded in the paal of Chicago's 
Civic Center Ploza (left). The ani- 
mated sequence above studies our 
first muddled moves toward modesty, 
with man first cavering his mote, 

then ig to cover himself with the 
same animalskin; its followed by 

the evolution of clothing styles. 


DESMOND morris’ inflvential book The 
Naked Ape, although a runaway best 
seller, is hardly the sort of work one 
would expect to be turned into a hit 
movie. It’s a scientific study, drawing on 
anthropology, zoology and sociology, that 
propounds a theory about how man got 
to be the way he is today. But to Donald. 
Driver, director and playwright (Status 
Quo Vadis), it was a challenge he felt 
compelled to take on. 

"When I read the book. I just saw it 
as this film,” Driver says. So he wrote the 
screenplay, found backers (Playboy Pro- 
ductions and Universal Pictures) and set 
to work. According to Driver, the біт, 
which was to premiere in Los Angeles 
August 17. and open at the Chicago 
Playboy "Theater two weeks later, turned 
out "cxactly as І had planned. I'm 
crazy about it.” 

As Dri ualizes it, The Naked 

powerful message—one that’s 

ау. We chose to handle 

it by showing three very real, contem- 

porary young people. and how they 

face the genetic frustrations that have 

been carried over through centuries of 
human development." 

Interwoven with the live action— 

h jumps back and forth over cen- 
turies of recorded and unrecorded time 
—are animated sequences executed 


Stars af the film are Victoria Prin- 
cipal, Johnny Crawfard and Dennis 
Olivieri, shawn in a scene at a col- 
lege bookstore (top near right). 
Clossroom discussions of Desmond 
Mortis! theme 
the movie's imagery, including the 
dream episade at right in which 
Vicino und Joly full ıl 

о daar, out of their cloth 

ond, finally, into c satin sheeted bed. 


under the direction of Chuck Swenson 
of Murakami-Wolf Studios in Holly 
wood. A far cry from Bambi, Thumper 
and their wide-eyed friends from the 
Disney pastures, these elaborate se- 
quences make it possible for he entire 
process of evolution, from one-celled 
creature to Homo sapiens, to flash across 
the screen іп a few seconds. Mixing its 
the film provides visual com. 
ms between the methods that 
the apes, used to deal 
with such primal cnemies as the saber 
toothed tiger (through animation) and 
(in live action) those of present-day 
man, as exemplified by Gls engaged 
in jungle warfare 
Swenson, who's been in filmwork for 
ten years (among his credits: Frank Zap. 
s 200 Motels), sought out fresh artistic 
talent to draw the key scenes. "We didn't 
want them all to look the same.” One 
low, Swenson recalls, scemed to be 
g forever to produce a few draw 
ings. “Then one day he showed up in 
Volkswagen van—filled with some 1 
drawings. Wc had a hell of a time 
sorting them all out." But sort them 
out they did, and the sequence packs 
considerable punch. 


Another pivotal sequence in the film 
shows star Johnny Crawford walkin 
through a museum where lifesized 


162 


of prehistoric man are on display 
s. In preparation for this, a dozen 
authentic figures were commissioned— 
with plans to donate them to the Field 
Museum of Natural History in Chicago 
as a permanent exhibit. 

The three leading characters created 
by Driver are Lee, played by Crawford; 
The Girl, played by Victoria Principal; 
and Lee's buddy Arnie, played by Dennis 
Olivieri, Crawlord won fame at an early 
age, when he spent five years playing 
„ son of Lucas McCain 
(Chuck Connor), in The Rifleman, an 
cater that became the most successful 
syndicated series іп TV history. Alter 
The Rifleman ended in 1963, Crawford 
played one-shot roles in several television 
series and appeared in a pair of unre- 
membered films before doing a two-year 
stint in the U.S. Army. He was assigned 
to be an assistant director, script super- 
visor and occasional actor in combat- 
training films—experience he has finally 
got the chance to put to use in the war 
fare scenes of Naked Ape. Offscreen, he's 
a rodeo buff; a member of the Rodco 
Cowboys Association since 1965, he spe- 
dializes in calf roping and steer wrestling. 

For Victoria Principal—about whom 
you'll learn a good deal more on this and 
succeeding pages—The Naked Ape is 
her second motion-picture appearance. 
She first hit the screen in last year’s The 
Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean, and 
the impact was immediate. “She photo 
graphs,” said one writer, “like а cross 
between the Ava Gardner of the Forties 
and the Jacqueline Kennedy of the early 
Sixties.” But to Victoria, having a pretty 
face—while fortunate—is secondary to 
putting in serious, hard work at bettering 
herself in her profession. "I know what 
I'm capable of and 1 feel embarrassed 
if I do less,” she says. "In The Naked 
Ape, Im part of a film that will be revo: 
lutionary in the industry. It’s made use 


of a number of facets—animation, live ac- 
tion, music—and combined them all to 
discuss a subject that's actually educa- 
tional, and made it into a legitimate 
entertainment. And Donald Driver is 
wonderful. I would work for him again 
any day, without pay. But don’t quote 
me on that.” 


Dennis Olivieri made his Broadway 
debut at the age of nine as the juvenile 
lead in Auntie Mame. At ll, he ap- 
peared in the Walt Disney circus film 
Toby Tyler. Since then, he's appeared 
on TV and in community theaters. It 
was skill at comedy that recom- 
mended him to Driver and producer 
Zev Bufman when they were casting 
The Naked Ape. 

Cast, crew and executives are all en- 
thusiastic about the prospects for this 
offbeat film venture. Bufman believes 
Naked Ae is going to be "the most un- 
usual picture of the decade." Driver says, 
simply, "It's the best thing I've ever 
done." The rest is up to the audience. EB 


APE GIRL 


it requires no scientific bent to determine 
that victoria principal is very much a woman 


HCTORIA PRINCIPAL. It's likely to be- 
come a name to be reckoned with. 
“She'll be a major star, of the kind 

we have had to import from Europe,” 

says Zev Bufman, producer of her 
latest film, The Naked Ape. 

“If she had come along during 
Hollywood's golden era, a dozen 
studio writers would be busy in 
their cubides tailoring screenplays 
for her—and she'd be making eight 
motion pictures annually,” says a 
Universal Pictures publici: 

“Delightful” was the critical consen- 
sus on Victoria's performance in her 
first film, The Life and Times of Judge 
Roy (text continued on page 197) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILL 


Even when I was c little 
girl, | knew what | wanted 
to do in life,” says Victoria. 
"People would ask me what 
1 was going to be when I 
grew up and 1 would say, 
in a very matter-of-fact 
voice, ‘An actress." | got 
my first professional job— 
а TY commercial —when 

I was only five.” 


"Both Roy Bean and Naked 
Ape are films | can be proud 
of. Now | feel | can afford 
to wait, to be careful 
choosing the next one. If 
necessary, | can always take 
а part that just requires 

an ability to look halfway 


avoid overacting. 


168 


THEKING BS DEAD „г page 151) 


until you hit the button that stops your 
clock and starts the other player's ticking. 
He liked the clock: two clean faces, a teak 
case with brass trim and good solid Ger- 
man workmanlike ticking. Pawn to king 
four. Click, with the button, and the 
other man's clock began to tick away 
until he moved. Then click again and 
your clock started. It was all good and 
sound and rational and something to pull 
mind and spirit out of a brown pri 
where you were surrounded by ugliness, 
boredom, foulness, brutality. Tick, tick, 
tick, and then mate. 

One afternoon during his fourth 
month in prison, after he had beaten 
Baskin on a very lovely combination that 
had come to him in a flash—as a whole 
Gestalt, a sudden pattern of check, inter- 
pose, uncover, and then the mate with a 
knight coming almost out of left ficld— 
Baskin stared at his mated king for a 
minute and then said, his voice flat, “I 
hear you're a C. P. A.” 

“That's right." The two of them had 
never talked about their pasts. But Bas- 
kin was the sort of man who seems to have 
a way of finding out everything. 

“What will you do when you get out of 
here? Nobody'll hire a C. P. A. with em- 
bezzlement on his record.’ 

“I can open a tax-figuring office. 
Is that what you were planning to do 
with the money you embezzled?” 

“Yes.” And then, “What are yuu in bere 
for?” 

Baskin raised his eyebrows. “You don’t 
know?” He picked up a bishop from the 
chessboard, deftly, and then twirled it be- 
tween his grayish fingers. “Do you have 
enough money to open up a tax office?” 

“I'm... I'm not sure.” 

“How much do you have left? After 
paying your lawyers?” He set the bishop 
down, neatly, on its home square. “I pre- 
sume you weren't able to keep what you 
embezzled. Do you have any money left?" 

Will wasn't certain whether to resent 
the question or not. But he answered it. 
“About five thousand dollars.” 

Baskin was looking at the odalisque. 
“That's not enough to start a business,” 
he said. "You could play chess for 
money.” 

“Oh, come on. I could win a few 
hundred dollars in the chess parlors. Who 
plays strangers for more than five or 
ten?” 

Baskin turned from the print and 
looked at Will closely. "You could play 
someone who plays rated players for 
money.” 

“Like who?” 

“There's a man near Raleigh, North 
Carolina, who will play you for five thou- 
sand a game. Once you identify yourself 
and he's sure you are who you say you are, 
His name is Wharton.” 

Will started to say something sarcastic, 


then it hit him. “Ishe rated?” 
“About three hundred points higher 
than you. Than you were.” 
Will began to feel a little warm. He 
was still nervous, his stomach a bit tight, 
but he was confident. "And I've improved 


by about five bundred since you've been 
teaching me." 

Baskin's face remained expressionless. 
"Four hundred. Perhaps.” And then, 


“But you have another advantage.” Bas- 
kin smiled slighty. “When he plays white, 
he generally plays queen's gambit. On 
black, he plays the Sicilian with the drag- 
on variation.” 

"And that's what you've been playing 
against me all along.” 

Baskin smiled again. “Do you think 
you would have beat me at all if I had 
been varying my play as much as I can?” 

Will was silent for a minute. Then, 
abruptly, he said, “What are you in prison 
for?" 

Baskin looked genuinely surprised. 
“No one ever told you?" 

“No.” 

“I was taken i 
sixteen-year-old boy.” 

Will shook his head, trying to shake off 
the shock, and the strangeness of it; he 
had never seen a trace of homosexuality 
in Baskin's manner. “You're gay?” he 
said. 

“Not in here,” Baskin said wryly. “Just 
queer. 

Will's embarrassment became suddenly 
acute. Switching subjects desperately, he 
“This man. . . Wharton?" 
es," Baskin said. "Wharton. Thomas 
Jefferson Wharton." He picked up a 
knight between two fingers, set it gently 
down on a center square. "Au oxymoron 
ofa name." 

Will had no idea what oxymoron 
meant, but did not want to ask. "Where 
does his money come from?" 

"From his very peculiar mind," said 
Baskin abstractedly. “Не started with 
nothing, made a fortune in textiles before 
he was thirty-five. In the Fifties, the Re- 
publicans gave him a fairly high appoin- 
tive job in the Department of Defense—as 
ind of appeasement to Joe McCarthy, 
it was rumored. Wharton was pretty well 
known for strong views on what he called 
the ‘nigger Red-faggot complex’ in Wash- 
ington. Anyway, getting into the Cold 
War suited him just right. You remember 
that game theory was starting to be very 
fashionable in those days? Wharton got 
seriously involved in chess as ‘a way of 
reading the Soviet mind." 

Will laughed cautiously. Everything 
Baskin said had such a tone of irony 
that Will couldn't be sure. “А way of 
reading the Soviet mind'? Rut that's a 
stupid” 

Baskin looked at him sharply. “There's 
nothing stupid about T. J. Wharton,” he 


fagrante with a 


said. "And dont forget it. Political 
yes. Irrationality—maybe even 
paranoia, But nothing dumb. There are 
more of his kind around than you may 
think, too.” He picked up the knight 
again but this time held it in his fist, firm- 
ly. “On the outside, Mr. Wharton looks 
like a big, dumb Southern fat cat. And, in 
some ways, he has all the culture as well ав 
the social views of Archie Bunker. But his 
intellect is frightening” Baskin smiled 
grimly. “That intellect isn’t easy to see, at 
first, because men like him know it pays 
to hide an LQ. of a hundred cighty. But 
the man can absorb almost anything. 
Anything that his manias tell him is nec- 
essary. He became a chess player of near- 
master strength in about four months. 
Which may have been his undoing.” 

“How could that be?” Will said. 

Baskin looked at him quietly. “For you 
and me, Schneider, chess is an opposition 
of two intellects. Pure mind; no potent 
emotions. But to Wharton it got to be a 
life-and-death struggle. He got to feeling 
he was playing against the Politburo, or 
the Kremlin, instead of people like me.” 
He paused, still clutching the knight 
firmly in his hand. 

“And what happened?” 

“I beat him, for one thing. He had got 
to be a damn good player, but I could 
beat him three times out of four. I think. 
that may have had something to do with 
it Or maybe the department chucked 
him when Joe McCarthy began to skid. 
Anyway, lic scerucd to have been check- 
mated in some vital way. One day he was 
just gone. The papers said he had re- 
signed for ‘family reasons; 1 never saw 
him again. But I suppose he'll hate me as 
long as he lives.” 

Will took in a deep breath. “Is that 
why you've been . . . training me? То... 
carry on for you?" 

Baskin set the knight back on the board 
very carefully, with a kind of reverence 
for the deanly and handsomely carved 
piece of wood. "I'll tell you how to get in 
touch with him," he said. ‘Just don't let 
him find out that you know me." 

Will looked for a moment at the knight 
on the center of the board, at its equine, 
impassive, glistening presence. “Thanks,” 
he said. “Thanks, Mr. Baskin.” 

It was a brilliant August day when they 
let Will out. With a prison suit, $50 and 
the address of a hallway house. He spent 
the $50 on a whore. She was worth every 
penny of it. 

And there he was, walking on Broad 
Street in the sun in Columbus, Ohio, and 
then getting his money out of his Colum. 
bus bank. Five thousand im traveler's 
checks and $780 in cash. He had clothes 
in an unde's house in Cleveland but 
hadn't bothered sending for them before 
leaving the state prison. Instead, he went 
to Dunhill's and bought a navy-blue 

(continued on page 200) 


— У ани т ыш 


“I'm sorry, Mr. Forest Ranger, 
but your sign said no 
hunting, fishing, bathing, 
cooking, picnicking or 
ballplaying . . . so there seemed 
only one thing left to do.” 


C و‎ 


THE VARGAS GIRL 


нета: 


Pe 


" 


PLAYBOY 


170 


CHICAGO AND PROHIBITION 


to money. In four years under his rule, a 
$3,000,000 Chicago surplus was turned 
into а $4,500,000 deficit, As long as he was 
in city hall, Thompson proclaimed. Chi- 
cago would be wide open, for this was not 
only the way to prosperity, it was the way 
Chicagoans wanted it. That suited Torrio 
just fine. 

It was just as simple to corner the sup- 
ply of beer. With the advent of Prohibi- 
tion, owners of breweries had few choices: 
‘They could close up or sell out and take 
their losses: they could go into the brew- 
ing of near beer, an expensive process; 
or they could enter into secret. partner- 
ships with the underworld, permitting 
them to continue to manufacture and sell 
real beer, illegally, and reap undreamed- 
of profits. For many, it was no choice at 
all. Within weeks of the Colosimo mur- 
der, Torrio had become a partner in nine 
breweries and several whiskey distilleries 
with the pre-Prohibition brewer, Joseph 
Stenson, heir to one of the richest and 
most respected Chicago families. Those 
interests would expand greatly and the 
profits would pour in: The beer cost 
five dolla barrel to make and was sold. 
imes $50 or more— 
and to special customers, at the reduced 
price of $ rio also made other con- 
nections for liquor: with Yale and the 
rum-row importers in the East, and with 
the “Purple Gang” in Detroit, which had 
regular ferry run from the distilleries 
that were springing up across the Detroit 
border in Canada 

‘Then Torrio turned to the gang wars 
that were erupting all over the city. Every 
section of Chicago was ruled by one gang 
or another. There was the O'Banion gang 
on the North Side. Their activities 
cluded illegal liquor, safecracking, rob- 
be kings and protecting the 
political interests of the highest bidder, 
sometimes Democrats but more often 
Republicans. The gang was under the 

ile of a young, smiling, reckless Irish- 
n named Dion “Deany” O'Banion, 
never without his guns, reputed killer of 
at least 25, unwilling to shake hands for 
r of leaving himself vulnerable, pro- 
prietor of a profi 
flower shop that did a thriving bus 
whenever a gangster went to hi 
O'Banion’s chief aide was Earl Wajcic- 
chowski, better known as Hymie Weiss, to 
whom society and the underworld will 
ways be in debt for inventing the 
ride.” In 1921, Weiss personally invited 
a fellow Pole, one Steve Wisn. ki, who 
d incautiously hijacked an O'Banion 
nto the 
a ride," 
one-way 


ble legitimate front, a 


ness 
reward. 


beer ruck, to drive with him 
. "We took Stevie fi 


coun 
Wei: 
ride.” 

The West Side of Chicago was run by 
the O'Donnell brothers—Myles, Bernard 
nd William “Klondike"—all Irish and 
with an abiding hatred of Italians. On 


would tell fr 


ids, 


(continued from page 150) 


the South Side, in "Little I 
the “Terrible Genn: 
named Sam, Vincenzo, Pete, “Bloody An- 
gelo," “Tony the Gentleman" and “Little 
mes called “Il Diavolo.’ 


aly,” reigned 
six brothers 


Good family men, ardent church- and op- 
eragoers, suspected members of the Mafia 
all, these Sicilian-born brothers cor 


trolled every racket in the ghetto from 
extortion to cheese, olive oil and other 
delicacies, to gambling, politics and 
booze. During Prohibition, they special- 
ized in turning out homemade гош, 
tecd to kill, blind or at least sick- 
en the drinker; but they had no trouble 
peddling the stuff and the demand was 
so constant and grew so fast that they put 
hundreds to work making it in kitchens, 
bathtubs, anywhere. It cost the Сеп 
berween 50 and 75 cents a gallon to turn. 
ош and they sold it to speak-casics for 
dollars a gallon. The spea 
luted it, sold it by the di 
about $10 a gallon. 
Between the Gennas 
Cicero was the Valley 
Druggan and Frankie Lake. On 


and suburban 
ig, led by Terry 


the 


Southwest Side was the SaltisMcErlane 


е, brutal and 


ging, coheaded by m: 
moronic Joe Saltis and the alcoholic kill- 
er Frank McErlane, who would introduce 
the Thompson submachine gun to the 
underworld. The Ragen Colts—racist, 
jingoistic, bootleggers—ran the South 
Side around the Stockyards. And on the 
Far South Side, the rulers were another 
O'Donnell gang, unrelated to Klondike 
O'Donnell, led by brothers Steve, Walter, 
Tommy and Ed called Spike, and the 
real boss. In 1920, Spike was away in Jo- 
lier Penitentiary, having been caught 
walking out of a bank with $12,000. His 
brothers, disorganized, spent their time 
doing crrands for Torrio at his Four 
Deuces saloon and brothel, waiting for 
brother Spike to return. 

The bitterness among all the gan, 
intense, and blood flowed regul: 
was Tortio’s conviction that unless the in- 
cine warfare could be halted, all his 
ns and hopes would come to little. So 
le a proposal to all the Chicago 
gang leaders: There would be peace, 
with it cooperation and prospe 
proposal was the essence of simpl 
and good sense: In unity, there lay 
strength and success; in division and hos- 
tility, only weakness and Е 
main chance, he insisted, lay in making 
Prohibition work for all, for it would 
make them all millionaires. As much as 
possible, he argued, the old traditional 
activities—robberies, safecrackings, mug- 
gings and other violent crimes—should 
be shunned, abandoned. This was asking 
a lot he realized, and total abstinence 
was impossible, given the nature of 
the personnel: but nevertheless, this was 
the goal they should all strive for. Th 
should devote themselves and their ener- 


gies to those things that, while they 
aroused society's displeasure, aroused it 
only mildly—things like gambling, pros- 
titution and, particularly, booze 

But if they were to succeed and become 
rich, Torrio said. then they must be 

illing to put an cnd to the old cnmitics. 
He proposed that every gang have abso- 
lute control over its own territory, over 
the whorehouses, gambling and speak- 
asies, and have the right to dictate from. 
whom the liquor and beer sold there be 
bought. If a gang wanted to operate its 
own breweries and distilleries, fine: if not, 
orrio, with his vast supplies, was pre 
pared to sell them all the beer they need. 
ed; his price, and it was increased now, 
following the law of supply and demand, 
would be $50 a barrel; he would also sup: 
ply all the liquor anyone needed at 
competitive prices. 

If an outsider tried to muscle in any- 
where, all the gangs in Chicago would 
cooperate in meting out appropriate chas 
sement. And to ensure that the plan 
worked, Torrio proposed an all: Chicago 
underworld council—the forerunner of 
the national Syndicate that would be 
created a decade and more later—with all 
the gangs represented and having equal 
voice, and with himself as chairm 
ready to supervise all arrangements made 
among different gangs and to arbitrate 
all disputes. 

Even to rival gang leaders who barely 
tolerated one another, Tonrio's plan was 
so appealing that nobody resisted. 

And so peace and good times, with 
Torrio as the boss, came to the Chicago 
underworld, They lasted for nearly three 
years and, as Torrio had prophesied, the 
riches pourcd in. So powerful did Torrio 
become that his influence reached 
Springfield and the governor's office. 
When Jake GuziK's brother, Harry, and 
Harrys wife, Alma, still plying the 
whoreliouse trade in addition to the new 
Torrio rackets, enslaved а young farm 
girl, turning her into a prostitute, they 
were both convicted of compulsory white 
slavery and sentenced to the penitentiary. 
But before they served a day, Torrio 
reached to Governor Len Small, a 
Thompson puppet. He owed Torrio and 
his friends bij ‘ors: he had be 
cd soon after becoming governor for em- 
bezzling 5600.000 while state treasure 
bribery and intimidation had persuaded 
the jury to acquit him. Now Small repaid 
the favor. He pardoned the Guz 
and in the next three years, he would 
grant pardon or parole to almost 1000 
convicted felons. 

The first challenge to Torrio's peace, 
prosperity and cooperation came in the 
summer of 1998, when Spike O'Donnell 
returned from Joliet. Determined that he 
and his brothers would cash in on Prohi- 
bition like everyone che, he began hi- 
jacking Torrio’s beer trucks and tried 
to muscle in on the Salüs-McErlaue 

(continued on page 206) 


wi 


Airborne back Som Cunninghem leaps to score in the Rose Bowl as Southern Cal, riaveoy’s pick as top team for '73, routs Ohio State. 


PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW 


sports By ANSON MOUNT pre-season prognostications for the top college teams and players across the nation 


PLAYBOY'S 1973 PREVIEW 
ALL-AMERICA ш 
OFFENSIVE = "y. 
TEAM 


Left to right, top to bottom: David Casper (86), offensive lineman, Notre Dame; John Hicks (74), offensive lineman, Ohio State; 
Haskel Stanback (24), running back, Tennessee; Mike Boryla (12], quarterback, Stenford; Nat Moore (33), running back, Flor- 
ida; Frank Pomerico (56), offensive lineman, Notre Dame; Dery! White (72), offensive lineman, Nebraska; Burney Veazey (B5), 
tight end, Mississippi; Scott Anderson (78), center, Missouri; Lynn Swann (22), wide receiver, Southern Cal.; Rick Townsend 
(22), kicker, Tennessee; Doug Dickey, rtAY&oY's Coach af the Year, Florida; Woody Green, running back, Arizona State. 


PLAYBOY'S 1373 PREVIEW 
ALL-AMERICA 

DEFENSIVE 

TEAM 


Left to right, top to bottom: Louis Kelcher (72), defensive lineman, Southern Methodi andy Gradishar (53), defensive lineman, 
Ohio State; Lucious Selmon (98), middle guord, Oklahoma; John Dutton (90), defensive lineman, Nebraska; Randy Poltl (36), 
defensive back, Stanford; Dovid Gallagher (71), defensive lineman, Michigon; James Allen (83), defensive back, University of 
California at Los Angeles; Charles Davis (71), defensive lineman, Texas Christian; Bill Simpson (29), punter, Michigan State; Mike 
Townsend (27}, defensive back, Notre Dame; Matt Blair (47), linebacker, lowa State; Richard Wood, linebacker, Southern Cal. 


will play the game according to those 
principles and give some thought to the 
science of life—to the ‘science’ of lea 
ng to lose well and learning to win with 
classic Olympian grace. 

While Udall spoke, there was a thick, 
uneasy silence in the hall. Next year, the 
N.GAA, fathers will probably invite 
Billy Graham to talk about less threaten- 
ethical problems. 

On the assumption that ruthless com- 
petition will remain endemic to collegi 
football for some seasons to come, let's 
take a look at which teams have the 
best chances 10 be top dogs and go to 
bowl games. 


PLAYBOY 


THE EAST 
MAJOR INDEPENDENTS 


10-1 Syracuse 

Villanova 
6-5 Nay 
5-6 Ату 
5-6 


IW LEAGUE 


1-2 Brown 
1-2 Columbia 
6-3 Princeton 
4-5 Harvard 


OTHER INDEPENDENTS 


Delaware 10-1 Lehigh 
Holy Cross 7-4 Colgate 
Boston Lafayette 
University Bucknell 
Rutgers Gettysburg 
Temple 


Penn State 
Boston 
College 
West Virginia 
Pittsburgh 


Pennsylvania 
Cornell 

Yale 
Dartmouth 


7-3 
1-4 
5-5 


TDP PLAYERS: Cappelletti, Crowder, Getty, 
Natale, O'Neil (Penn State); Esposito, 
Briggs, Condon (Boston College); Buggs 
(West Virginia); Buckmon, Burley (Pitts- 
burgh); Lapham, Moss (Syracuse): Polito, 
imba (villenova); Gcoper, Van Loan (Navy); 
Davis (Army); Clune, Bellizeare (Pennsy!- 
Allen (Correll); Doyle (Yale) 
Klupchak (Dartmouth); Detore, 
Mergan (Brown); Telep, Brown (Columbia); 
Snickenberger (Princeton); Jiggetts (Наг- 
vard); Kraus, Reihm (Delaware); Provost, 
Kobza (Holy Cross); Dziama (Boston Uni- 
versity); Jennings (Rutgers); Grossman, 
Joachim (Temple); McQuilken, Schlegel 
(Lehigh), Parr, Van Eeghen (Colgate); Gi 
glio (Lafayette); Probst (Bucknell); Dietz 
(Gettysburg). 


It would be little wonder if Penn State 
football fans had become jaded by now: 
the Nittany Lions haven't suffered a Ios- 
ing season since 1938 and a year with two 
losses is considered a disaster. This should 
be just ап aver 
which opponent will apply the sword 
difficult to genie but Stanford, Iowa and 
North C. e are ile of the 
deed. With qu. 
among the departed, the Lions w 
more emphasis on 


age year—one loss. Exacily 


place 
running game featur- 


perienced offensive line. Tom Shu 
the new quarterback, will have a 
с receivers to throw to, 


m; 
flock of fast. 
best of whom is Jimmy Scott; and inside 


nebacker Ed O'N will be the fulcrum. 
174 of a typically tough defense. Add to 


all this an infectious squad enthusiasm 
caused hy coach Joe Paterno's rejection of 
a lucrative offer to coach the professional 
New England Patriots. His decision to 
stay is being interpreted as a tribute to 
the ideals and purposes of intercollegiate 
athletics. It is also a reflection of an а 
quired taste for winning football games. 

Boston College's offense appears to 
have everything: an excellent. quarter- 
back in Gary Marangi, a potent running 
attack featuring Mike Esposito and Phil 
Bennett, good receivers іп Mel Briggs 
and Dave Zumbach and a seasoned of- 
fensive line. Sophomore Brian Clemente 
Ш strengthen the linebacking corps 
and added experience should help in 
other areas. Unfortunately, an unusually 
rough schedule could preclude a winning 
season. 

Despite only cight returning starters, 
West Virginia should have as strong a 
team as last scason's Peach Bowl squad. 
The returning players are key ones and 
there are quality replacements to fill the 
vacancies. If a sound quarterback can be 
found—none emerged in spring prac 
tice—the Mountaineers will have a pow- 
erful offense, because flanker Danny 
Buggs is one of the better catch-and-run 
perlormers in the country. However, 
West Virginia faces a very tough schedule 
this fall, so don’t expect as many vic- 
tories as in '72. 

New coach Johnny Majors takes over 
at Pittsburgh, making the Panthers’ fu 
ture prospects bright. Is about time. 
The Panthers tered and 
bruised since the 
1963; so university admi 
decided to take drastic action 
withdrew from the Eastern Big Four (a 
loose association of Pitt, Peun State, West 
Virginia and Syracuse), am arrangement 
that had severely limited recruiting and 
red-hirüng. Then, Majors was lured 
from lowa State with a lucrative salary 
and a pledge of heavy alumni support. 
nancial and otherwise; and even though 
the talented M nsform the 
Panthers in a single season, fans will see 
а few imme s of what the fu- 
ture holds. n of last years 22 
starters retur ity of top 
ent still exists, Two freshmen, halfback 
"Tony Dorsett and field-goal kicker Carson 
Long, should provide more scoring punch. 

This is coach Ben Schwartzwalder's last 
campaign at Syracuse. The players would 
like to make it a winning one, but it will 
be an uphill fight all the way. Last fall, 
Syracuse scored the fewest points and 
allowed the most of any Schwartzwalder- 
hed team; it also set several more di 
bious records. 50 Schwartzwalder rebuilt 
his offense from scratch. this spring, in- 
stalling a basic grind-itour attack, He 
Iso pumped in large amounts of hustle 
and spirit, qualities noticeably lacking 
s. The quarterback problem is 
pleasant one: In the spring, sophomores 
Bob Mitch and Jim Donoghue were ahead 


season, in 
ors finally 


Eigh 
. but as 


imbent Rob Sutton, who looked so 
the last three games of " 
befits the newly installed Pleistocene о 
se, fullback is the strongest ро 
with veteran Steve Webster and newcom 
er Chuck Moss, who looks like a budding 
Larry Csonka. 

Villanova will be the most improved 
team in the East; but, having won only 
two games in 1972. the Mainlines still 
have a way to go. Cert 
woefully impotent last se: 
ter. In fact, this edition could be as explo- 
sive as the 1970 team. 
nd Navy share an unfortunate 
ds have only two re 


turning defensive starters. Thus, the key 


to both teams’ fortunes will be the devcl- 


opment of replacements. Army has an es- 
pecially tough go of it, because the first 
five 


ames are against Tennessee, Cali- 
corgia Tech, Penn State and 
Notre Dame. With ап allsophomore de- 
fensive backfield, the Cadets may be fatal- 
ly vulnerable to a passing attack. Kingsley 
ink returns at quarterback and his 
prime target, Jim Ward, is a good one, so 
Army will pass—that is, if the defense can 
get the ball. 

Navy has two equally good passers, Al 
Glenny and Fred Stuvek; and if receiver 
Larry Van Loan returns to form after 
"72 with injuries, the Middies 
should have a good pass attack. Runner 
Cleveland Cooper will give them offense 
versatility. So it all depends on the new 
defensive linemen: H they come through. 
it could be a respectable season for the 
Middies. 

Yale. Cornell and Pennsyl 
almost equally matched for a rum at the 
Ivy League title. "Therefore, such unpre- 
table factors as injuries, weather and 
s—not to mention the inex- 
plicable home-field advantage that seems 
so omnipresent in the Ivy League—will 
determine the outcome. Impetus could 
also be a factor and if it is, Pennsylvania 
should win the championship. The Quak 
ers won six games last year, a heady expe- 
rience, because they had enjoyed only 
пе other winning season since I 
With three good quarterbacks and receiv 
ng, the Quakers will 


nia seem 


ain be explosive. 
Cornell has a superb group of runners, 
best of whom are Dan Malone and rookie 
Don Fanelli. Assembling an adequate 
line to block for them is coach Jack Mu- 
sick’s main problem. Mark Allen is a pre- 
Г but his performance will 
likely suffer [rom a dearth of good receiv. 
ers. Still, it looks like the defenders, rally 
g around fearsome linebacker Bob 
Lally, will be heroes in Ithaca this s 
Yale won seven games last season 
a relatively young team and the wishbone 


offense, and the Elis will stick with 
the wishbone, because quarterback Tom 


outstanding runner. He will 


Doyle is a 
(continued on page 232) 


шот 


DN EY ROBERT OALE سے‎ 


now that student sit-ins have turned to sleep-ins, another look at the curriculum may be in order 


COUNTLESS GENERATION GAPS AGO—say, around 1968—you could depend on a course catalog to tell 
you what college students were learning: Introductory Psychology, Fifty Great American Novels, 
Differential Calculus, etc. Even as recently as the late Sixties, though campus interests had been 
transformed, they were reflected in new course listings: Organic Algebra, Remedial Sandal Making, 
Advanced Karma, ctc. 

Today it’s difficult to tell what students spend most of their energy pursuing. Perhaps the best 
estimate is that college students don’t spend much energy, period. With the spread of coed dormitories, 
the abolishment of grades and the reluctance of the U.S. Government to be overthrown, today's 
students are, well, taking it kind of easy. Not getting upset about much. Snoozing a good bit Some 175 


college students are even writing their 
memoirs prior to retiring from active lile 
at the age of 18. Thus, the following cata- 
log of new courses reflects students! real 
interests in these times of dire sloth. 


LITERATURE 101 
FIFTY GREAT PLOT OUTLINES 


= 
PLAYBOY 
l 


Entering freshmen get a thorough 
grounding in world literature by sl 
ming 50 plot-outline masterpieces. In the 
frst semester, students learn the differ- 
ences between Cliff's Notes and the 
Monarch Outline” series, analyzing exch 
for style, brevity and number of key con- 
cepts per work. In the second semester, 
students learn techniques of rewording 
key concepts and memorizing casts of 
characters in Outlines of Russian novels. 
Students will also be drilled in indignant 
retorts for use in other courses. Basic 
text for the course is Plot Outlines of 
Fifty Great Plot Outlines (1967 cd), 
which is intended to familiarize the stu- 
dent with his field and contains no hard. 
words. (6 hours per semester) 


CREATIVE WRITING 203 
AN INTRODUCTION TO TERM PAPERS 


A survey course designed to explore the 
most elective ways of purchasing term 
papers: which outfits in town do the best. 
work, where to go for a discount, etc. 
Sample papers will be purchased from 
various firms and contrasted for accuracy, 
width of margins and the possibility of 
having been purchased previously. (2 
hours per semeste 


CREATIVE. WRITING 206 
DEVELOPMENT OF A THEME 


in to commit. 
writing theme and 
remain faithful to it throughout fou 
years. For instance, а term paper on 
“Othello: Appearance vs. Reality," pur- 
rly in the freshman. year, must 
nded in without substantial modi- 
fication for such courses as philosophy, 
psychology, sociology, home economics 
nd forestry. As with all other courses 
listed here, no grades will be given. How- 
ever, in response to recent student re- 
is, the following refinements to the 
il system will be offered: Very 
High Pass High Pass Medium Pass, 
Medium Low Pass, Low Pass, Very Low 
Pass, Very Very Low Pass, High Fail, 
Medium Fail, Medium Low Fail, Low 
Fail Very Low Fail, Miserable Fail, 
Unbelievable Fail and Name Spelled 
Incorrectly. (14 hours per semester) 


In this course, students le: 
themselves toa spec 


CHEMISTRY 202 
INTRODUCTION 10 THE 
LEADING COMPOUNDS 


ble of finding the class- 
1 be expected to learn the 
176 proper dosages of leading "sopors" and 


other vanquilizers used 10 heighten and 
pand sluggishness. Advanced students 
will be coached in fabricating responses 
for visiting reporters who inquire: “What 
drugs are big on campus this year?” O.D.s 
fail the course automatically, (195 hours 
per semester) 


SPEECH 105, 104, 105, 106 
CONTINUOUS SELF-EXPRESSION 


‘This course will examine the modes of 
selt-expression prevalent on all campuses. 
Students will be expected to engage 
"meaninglul dialogs” at any time, in апу 
location and for no particular purpose. 
Freshmen will talk well into the night 
about the meaning of the college experi- 
sophomores will gather to discuss 
the meaning of the American experience; 
ıs will progress to dialogs about the 
ng ol existence; and seniors will 
dawdle over lunch. about the mcaning- 
lesness of nearly everything. Allnight 
sessions will be given extra credit; non- 
stop jabbering on speed will be ignored. 
(2450 hours per semester) 


enc 


ADVANCED CALCULUS 302 
COMPUTING THE PERFECT SCHEDULE 


The importance of careful scheduling 
has always been recognized, but only re- 
cently has it been accepted as an academic 
discipline. Beginning students are drilled 
in the fundamentals of eli ng 
courses that meet on Mondays and Fri- 
days. Advanced students learn to ignore 
Tuesdays and Thursdays and to expunge 
any course that meets before noon. At the 
urate level, tutoring will be offered 
in signing up for courses taught exclu- 
sively by professors away on sabbatical. 
(2 hours per semester) 


POLITICAL. SCIENCE 224 
STUDENT PARTICIPATION IN POLITICS 


This course will meet once a semester 
to determine how much term time will 
be allowed for students to campaign for 
political candidates, On the dates re- 
served for this purpose, the entire dass 
will depart for Fort Lauderdale. (уб hour 
per semester) 


MUSIC. APPRECIATION 301 
CHORD STRUCTURE, HARMONY. AND RIFFS 


A survey course that will examine the 
question “Was there music before Pres- 
le udents will learn of the major 
influences on Alice Cooper's symphonic 
work—forgotten composers such аъ Bach, 
Beethoven and Berry. In the second se- 
mester, students’ stereos will be left on at 
all times and further d. n will cease. 
Special tutoring will be offered in accept- 
ing record-club selections without paying 
up. (3980 hours per semester) 


эсиз 


SOCIOLOGY 456 
TOLERANCE OF THE ELDERLY IN 
ADVANCED SOCIETIES 


Since student commitment to lethargy 
continually requires financial support, 
this couse will examine ways of com 
municating with parents and other 
sources of tuition, Students will examine 
such questions as “Is it proper to call col- 
lect when one is about to request a 
bund The class will also be taught 
proper filing of emergency excuses, to 
avoid embarrassing repetition. (Under 
"Cancer," for instance, a student will 
learn to specily: “Of the larynx; Room- 
mate; Because cannot afford radium 
treatments; Requested: $25; Received: 
4/4/73.") (40 hours per semester) 


PSYCHOLOGY 522 


larly on campus. The instructor, Professor 
S. M. Hobart, is not expected to attend 


any classes himself, but s 
tempt to gain an unders 
тоог causes of this phenomenon 
analyze the various ahhhthehellwithit. 


CINEMA STUDIES 244 
THINKING ABOUT MAKING A FILM. 


ake 


Most college students eventually 
s course, which consists of daily discus- 
п which young film makers assure 
that they are seriously cor 
sidering making a film. Auteur theories 
€ defended, new editing techniques arc 
changed and most current films are 
held in contempt. By the end of the term, 
students are expected to conclude that 
the crass Hollywood system will undoubt- 
edly fail to see the artistic merit of various 
proposed film scenarios, and even if they 
were produced, Pauline Kael would prob- 
ably dislike them, so the class goes off 
to a neighborhood movie, (190 hours per 
semester) 


CAREER. COUNSELING 404 
PREPARING FOR THE REAL WORLD 


A course designed for seniors nearing 
the end of four years of higher educa 
Instruction will be olfered on how to d 
cide on a worthwhile career, particularly. 
in business. Major emphasis will be 
placed on the standard text for corporate 
interviews: How to Go to an Interview 
with Your Campus Recruiter and Get 
a Good Job (1963 cd.) This textbook 
has since been revised and retitled How 
to Demonstrate Against Your Campus 
Recruiter and Spit at Him (1968 ей). 
which was itself recently updated and 
sued as How 10 Recruit а Campus 
Recruiter to Your Campus and Beg [or a 


Job (1973 ed.). 
Ba 


Sweaters are taking new directions, cs exemplified 
by this matching vest and cardigan, by Pinky & 
Dianne for Flo Toronto, $22 and $35, respectively. 
Completing this bussman's autfit are a flannel 
shirt with long-pointed collar, by Golden Vee, 
about $10, and khaki twill slacks, by H.I.S., $14. 


ATTIRE 
BY 


ROBERT 
LGREEN 


THE CURRENT FASHION MOOD IN THE 
GROVES OF ACADEME IS RELAXED 
UNPRETENTIOUS —AND ECLECTIC 


ICASSO ONCE ORSERVED that all styles of art are contemporancous, since none of them ever really dic. This 
remark seems true of campus fashion—nothing from the past appears to have been lost. A glance 
pages will show that the denims of the activist Sixties and the sweat 
Fifties—a bit altered, naturally, as sweaters eval 
So is a fur coat ele 


s and slacks of the quiescent 
into ever brasher and brighter varieties—are still with us. 
atly updated from goldfish-swallowing days. And the resurgence of the suit—tweeds, double- 
breasteds, et al.—seems to support those who contend that а new conservatism is thriving on campus. Not that it's 
a dogmatic conservatism: You don't have to wear a suit, but if you choose to—as a lot of individuals do—you can 
wear it with an open collar rather than a tie. The emphasis, in fact, is more than ever on individual taste. And on com- 
fort—which many undergrads appear to be finding in the form of short jackets that not only put the wearer at ease but 
give him a spare, uncluttered look. Some of these jackets are equipped with elasticized waistbands; others—like many 
of the currently popular sweaters -соте styled as wrap-arounds. So if there's one prediction we can make about 
campus fashions circa '73, it's that nobody's going to worry whether he's correctly dressed when crossing the quad. 


PHOTOGRAPHED BY STEPHEN LACHER / PROOUCED BY WALTER HOLMES 


177 


Opposite page: Fur-clad undergrads were thought 
of as comic characters, but this lad—decked out in 
French rabbit fur, by Europa Sport, $325, cotton 
turtleneck, by Pierre Cardin, $18.50, and polyester 
slacks, by Broomsticks, $18— couldn't carc less 
what the sobersides think. Neither could his date. 


Above: To jump or not to jump, that is the question 
But there's no question, really, about thot Acrilan 
knit Mexican-patterned shawl sweater with self- 
belt, by Forum, $26—especially when it's paired 
with a black rib-knit turtleneck, also by Forum, 
$13, and a pair of polyester-rayon gabardine 
slacks with French waistband, by Paul Ressler, $18. 


Left: Suits—in a multitude of styles, colors ond 
combinations—are back. They don't have to be 
superformal—in fect, some guys are wearing them 
with open shirts. Like the mon centerstage. His 
two-button, double-breasted model with pleated 
back is by Pinky & Dianne for Flo Toronto, $95; 

his wool shirt, with barrel cuffs and medium-pointed 


collar, is by Pendleton, $21. His colleague sports 
a wool tweed single-breasted suit with leather 
buttons and flap pockets, by Berhen, $170, a 
striped cotton shirt, by Sero, $18, and a whipcord 
flannel regimental-stripe tie, by Berkley, $6.50. 


179 


Right: Queuing up at the corner phone booth 
(which one's Clark Kent?). The nongrind near 
right wails comfortably in his chombray jeans suit, 
by Wrangler, jacket $14, pants $8; a contrasting 
touch is pravided by his print shirt of Indian cotton 
gauze with woaden buttons, by Impulse, $14. 

The other undergrad doesn't mind the party 

line, either; he’s at ease in his polyester-pile jacket 
with elasticized waist, by Pineapple, $35, catton 
denim slacks with extensian waistband, by A. Smile, 
$12, and rib-knit turtleneck, by Forum, $13. 


Below: What's new at the newsstand? For one 
thing, a thigh-length, belted coat of green melton, 
with epavlets and zippered pockets, by B. Teller 
of Vienne, about $85. Far another, plaid slacks, 
by Jaymar Ruby, $27.50. Plus a Shetland crew- 
neck sweater, by Allen Solly, $22.50, worn 

over a stretch-nylon shirt, by Caurage, $25. 


Opposite page: Short jackets aren't getting short 
shrift; this one is of mustard wool with black trim, 
pile collar and elasticized cuffs, by Windbreaker, 
$45. The form-conscious skating caach also 

boasts a knit turtleneck, by Eagle Shirtmakers, $16, 
and cavalry-twill slacks, by Paul Ressler, $18. 


180 


name into The Guinness Book of World 
Weirdos? And 1 hate to bring this up, but 
nobody is ever going to like you as long as 
you insist on being constipated 

“No shit,” muttered Thomas Fagleton 
Seagull. “No sl no shit, no shit,” he 
continued. refocusing his attention until 
the Essence of Insecurity disappeared. 
But as soon as he became aware of achiev- 
ing that control, he lost it. Now an Orien- 
tal Servant he hadn't summoned brought 
him a tray with a giant fortune cookie 
on it. 

With his beak, he pulled out the strip 
of Gospel. His fortune said: success 1s a 
PROCESS YOU REALIZE. That confused him, 
but it didn't end there. He pulled fur- 
ther, and there was another: EVERY MO- 
MENT 15 A REINCARNATION OF YOURSELF. 
He didn't understand what that meant, 
either. He pulled still morc, as though he 
were a stockbroker with a ticker tape, and 
the message was: EVERY MOMENT 15 А 
PARODY OF YouRSELF. He just didn't know 
when to stop. The next one 
DISCIPLINE THAT 15 NOT FUN IS SLA 
was disturbed, because he couldn't tell 
whether these messages were aimed at a 
seagull or at a hum: He pulled 
the tape once in and d: ruou 
SHALT NOT GOOSE A NURSING MOTHER. Не 
tied noshitting for a while—but. this 
time without paying attention to his at- 
tention—and, indeed, the breakthrough 
that he had been waiting for came. 

Thomas Eagleton Seagull couldn't 
help but notice that the metal band 
around his leg had developed blurry 
numbers in a circle around the vague 
outline of a rodent dlc wearing 
short pants and with outstretched arms 

Ir was a quarter to three when he 
looked at his embryonic Mickey Mouse 
watch and shouted, “The Stigmata!" 

He was on his way to being grounded 
at last. 


PLAYBOY 


CHAPTER SIX 

He had gone to say goodbye to 
Molly Salami Seagull. She asked. “Don’t 
you have any fecling of loyalty to your 
species?” 

“Do you call it loyal," he responded, 
“for our flock to dine luxuriously here at 
the county dump while thousands upon 
thousands of our fellow birds are dying 
each усаг of botulism by the sea? As a 
igull, I can't do anything about that 

As a human, I promise to investigate 
thoroughly.” 

“Remember your promise,” she called 
ош as he flew off to the ocean front to 
begin building sand castles once again, 
only with more and more speed, so that 
bylate morning he was able to fashion an 
exquisite fortress and then destroy it him- 
self even before the waves could wash it 
away. 

He knew now that he was ready. For 

182 his last meal as a seagull, he nibbled 


ЕА WU L a (continued from pagc 126) 


away ata mushroom that was growing out. 
of some cow dung in the pasture. 

‘They came in broad daylight, then, two. 
redcemers in human form, Language and 
Behavior. In awe, he watched them take 
away the sign that said cousty bur and 
replace it with one that said REFUSE 
DISPOSAL. SITE 

He eavesdropped on their cou 
tion. 

“What are we going to do about sonic 
boom?” asked Language. 

"I've checked with the Air Force about 

that,” replied Behavior. “They are insti- 
public-relations program called 
Sounds oJ Freedom." 
o shit," said Thomas Fagleton Sen- 
to repeat it over and over 
to himself, so rapidly this time that at the 
point where his consciousness overran the 
speed of light, he started to hear a ringing 
in his ears and he blacked out. 

When he came to, he could still h 
the ringing in his ears. He opened his 
сус» and saw that it was a telephone ring- 
ing. Instinctively, he reached to pick it up 
and said hello. 

“Is this Thomas Eagleton Seagull?” 

“Speaking,” he said, unzipping and zip- 
ping his fly for the first time in h 

Abruptly. he realized he was a n 
had actually achieved humanhood! 

Yes, he was now a grown-up person, 
t he way still wearing baby bootecs. He 
removed them in panic to see if his feet 
were still webbed. 

They started unwebbing right down 
there in front of his startled eyes, while 
the bootees turned into Thom McAn 
loafers with a pair of shiny pennies star- 
ing back up at him. 

Not only that but a voice on the other. 
end of the phone was inviting him to be 
Potential Second Best Human Being. He 
was so excited that he lost his equilibrium 
and said, “Quack-quack 

"What was that?" asked the voice on 
the other end of the phone. “I'm afraid 
we have a poor connection." 

“I said, ‘I'm flabbergasted!” ” 

Then another voice got on the other. 
end of the phone and told him to prepare. 
an acceptance speech. “Oh, and there's 
just one other thing," the voice added. 
“Do you have any old skeletons rattling 
around in your closet?" 

Filled with dation, Thomas Eagleton 
Seagull had to get himself centered. He 
looked at his wrist wa 
shit” into the telephone. 

The voice on the other end 
"Good" and hung up fast. 


CHAPTER SEVEN 
In the very earliest time, when 
Both people and animals lived on 
earth, п person could become ап ani- 
mal if he wanted to and an animal 
could become a human being. Some- 


versa- 


said, 


times (hey were people and some- 
times animals and there was no 
difference. All spoke the same lan- 
guage. That was the time when words 
were like magic. The human mind 
had mysterious powers A word 
spoken by chance might have strange 
consequences. It would suddenly 
come alive and what people wanted 
to happen could happen—all you 
had to do was say it, Nobody could 
explain this: That’s the way it was. 
—Magie Words (after Nalungiaq), 
Eskimo Shaking the Pumpkin: 
Traditional Poctry of the Indian 
North Americas, anthologized 
by Jerome Rothenberg 


И was all over in a matter of min- 
ules. No further investigation was 
made into Eagleton's medical history. 
Senator McGovern asked for some- 
one to get Senator Eagleton on the 
phone. While he was in the other 
room talking to Eagleton, Mrs. Mc- 
Govern walked into the room. She 
leaned over to me and whispered, 
“Who is it?" 1 told her Eagleton. 

“That's not possible," she cried 
out, hurrying from the room to find 
her husband. But it was too late. 
McGovern had already asked Eagle- 
lon and he had accepted. Frank 
Mankiewicz was on the phone talk- 
ing to him and McGovern was in 
one of ihe bedrooms when she found 
him. I never did find out what had 
caused thal uncharacteristic outburst 
by Mrs. McGovern. Throughout the 
campaign, her political judgment 
was frequently the best. 

ERRE SALINGER 
Life, December 


, 1972 


“So this is humanity.” he thought, 
pushing the button marked Lossy in the 
hotel elevator. He had decided to take a 
stroll outside while the writers were 
working on his acceptance speech. 

Through the glass doors leading to 
the street, he could see а man wearing 
a magnificent uniform. “Must be some- 
body very special," he thought, striding 
through the lobby. “ГЇЇ find out. 

Asif by telepathy, the man in the m 
nificent uniform opencd the door for h 
and said, “Good afternoon, sir.” with 
such respect that he must already have 
known he was addressing one who 
been selected Potential Second Best 
Human Being. 

How did you know: 
Eagleton Seagull. 

I'm the doorperson, sir. It’s my job to 
know.” 

"How did you get to be a doorperson 

“Through reincarnation, sir. In past 
lives, I've always been dependent on oth- 
ers. But I struggled to be righteous, and 
now others are finally dependent on me. 
Tama living symbol of protection against 
burglary. I am also the embodiment of 
small talk. Nevertheless, between the 


asked "Thomas. 


+ 


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Our pipe mixture also tells you that 
it’s made with 100% imported tobaccos. 

Select, prime leaf tobaccos from Europe, 
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After all, you dort 4 
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So why smoke ordinary 
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ҳхояхита 


why don't we stop here?” 


“Say, this looks like a quaint little inn. 


184 


lines of football plays and barometer 
readings, by my mere presence І am 
able to communicate, on some level of 
consciousness, throughout the year—no 
matter what month or season—an ap- 


preciation of that holy day when we cele- 
brate the birth of That Great Doorperson 
in the Sky. 


Tt was like suddenly being thrust into a 
spiritual wonderland, In a daze, Thomas 
Eagleton Seagull wandered by the swim- 
ng pool. It was filled with milk and 
ite sugar. Poolside, a parent was spea 
words of encouragement to a child 
practicing the backstroke. 

“Harder,” cheered the parent. "Try 
harder. Don't you want to grow up and 
bear witness to the electric shaver? 

1t was a minor miracle, turning anach- 
ronism into clairvoyance, much like ti 
ing swords into plowshares, or a felony 
into a misdemeanor. 

Several blocks away, a strectcorner 
speaker was insisting: “The reason 
they're against gay liberation is tha! 
come out of the closet, then they can't 
blackmail us." 

/ou people are disgust 

heckler. “Al homosexi 
ven vascctomies!" 
"Now. that,” mused Thomas Eagle- 
ton Scagull, “would be conspicuous con- 
sumption. 

He was amazed at his immediate grasp 
of economic theory. 

As if to test his own programing, he 
asked himself, “Is there ever a spiritual 


yelled a 
is should be 


Jewish grandmother owns two sets of 
teeth, one for meat and one for dairy.” 
Here he was, all prepared to be an 
ner speaker, although he had yet 
to cat his first dinner in this new body. 
He walked along, buzzing with aware- 
ness of his novel condition. Now, as a 
human, he realized in retrospect that, as 
a seagull watching television through a 
picture window, he had misinterpreted 
the true nature of the Deity. 
Сой is Packaging,” he whispered to 
sing senior citize 


CHAPTER EIGHT 

The park in the city of the Human 
Being Conventions had been trans- 
formed into а хе le show of 
proselytization. 

He was observing a tug of war between 
poup of Rosicrucians and a group of 
Theosophisis—although they were not 
using a rope—when he was offered a mar- 
ijuana cigarette by a stereotypical long- 
haired fellow. Thomas Eagleton Seagull 
was so high on life that he forgot this was 
illegal. 

He flashed on a sense memory: that 
ime he atc those seeds out of somebody's 
garbage in the county dump and got a 
pleasantly dizzy fee 

Now a women 
telling 


ра 


liberati ist was 
him, "Don't hepburn that joint.” 


Since he seemed open, she expl: 
that her movement was concerned wi 
the role females in this society had been 
brought up to play. 

I was jilling off in bed the other 
night,” she said, "and I realized that I was 
using myself as a sex object. 

He was busy coughing, so she con- 
tinued. 

But it's more than just that. My entire 
life style is limited by my finances. If my 
employer paid me what I deserve, regard- 
less of my gender, 1 wouldn't have to 
come home every day to а crummy apart- 
ment with cuntroaches crawling all over 
the kitchen. 

They passed a Sufi leader wrestling 
with his conscience, a Subudite changing 
her name and her mind, a Mason in judi 

ial robes рауй h to purgatory. 
"It's discouraging,” she said. "Even the 
1 Ching talks about the superior man.” 

I have a great deal of compassion for 
your plight,” said Thomas Eagleton Sea- 
gull, "but what are you doing to improve 
the situation? 

"Well. personally. I'm trying to break 
into organized aime,” she replied. “They 
run civilization from a male-supremacist 
orientation. And we have to overthrow 
that hierarchy, because the power filters 
down even to the control of local police 
stations. When I become Ms. Big, the first 
thing I'm going to do is put a stop to un- 
dercover cops committing гаре." 

They passed an awemblage of youthful 
zealots singing what sounded to his 
stoned cars like an obscene chant. per- 
aps the plaint of an impotent Buddhise's 
wil 

Hurry, Krishna! Hurry, Krishna! 
Krishna, Krishna! Hurry, hurry! Hurry, 
ram it! Hurry, тат il! Ram it, ram it! 
Hurry, hurry! 

“At least they've broken up the nuclear 
family,” said his first new friend. “J just 
can’t understand why a sister and brother 
would get legally married.” She paused, 
then ruminated aloud: "I wonder if Tom 
Hayden is gonna call Henry Fonda Dad.” 


CHAPTER NINE 

It was during his first press conference 
that Thomas Eagleton Seagull almost 
slipped up about his past. The questions 
and answers had been proceeding smooth- 
ly. Then a reporter for Speck magazine 
spoke up: 
, Га like to call your attention to 
the issue of overpopulation. Recently, a 
prominent researcher, Dr. Мах Feel- 
better, in order to focus public attention 
on this crisis, took his own life by setting 
ош to sea on a raft constructed entirely 
Now, my question is, sir, what 
medy do you offer that would 
п effective safeguard against, well, 
too many people?” 

"The combination of the hot klieg lights 
and the image of his old ocean momentar- 
ily spaced Thomas Eagleton Seagull out, 


and the response he gave broke the 
genetic cod 
Well, we've always devoured cach 
others young as if they were another 
species.” 

He was referring to the preying upon 
eggs and chicks by gulls in his own previ- 
ous colony. There was an awkward si- 
lence among the reporters, and then that 
was replaced by awkward laughter. He 
must have been making a sardonic joke. 

The Speck correspondent persiste 
“Sir, your allusion to 4 Modest Proposal 
by Jonathan Swift is appreciated as comic 
relief, but birth control and abortion are 
nonetheless serious matters." 

"Of course they are,” said the Potential 
Second Best Human Being, recovering 
from his flceting lapse. “But they repre- 
sent a predicament that should be left up 
to the individual states. Otherwise, we 
would be guilty of unwarranted infringe- 
ment upon the separation of powers 
guaranteed by our Constitution. . 


CHAPTER TEN 

“What's your si ' the waitress asked 
as she handed him a menu. 

I don't h; 

“Well, when were you born 
look. if you might become our Second 
Best Human Being, I would certainly be 
curious to know more about the 
of your karma.” 

"What's karma?" 

lt was Thomas Eagleton Scagull's 
karma that he should not understand the 
concept of karma. 

The restaurant was uncrowded and the 
waitress was able to continue their discus- 
sion between tables. She discovered that 
he could verbalize quite skillfully about 
social issues, from crime in the streets to 
drugs in the cadavers, but that he attrib- 
uted a lack of will to the perpetrators and 
victi like. 

He wanted to give his own astounding 
advancement as an example of strong 
will, but this revelation was a luxury he 
could not discreetly afford. 

“Do you mean to say,” he asked, “ul 
sullering people are merely helpless 
struments of bad karma 

"Why make moral judgments? I've 

led in many fo ountries. Once 
in Egypt I meta starving man. He was in 
pitiful sha ized that suffe: 
E people serve a higher purpose by 
reminding those of us who are more for- 
tunate not to complain. So I was torn be- 
tween the impulse to feed him and the 
pulse not to interfere with his destiny.” 
And which did you do?” 
1 was about to give him a piece of 
bread and a taste of cider from my flask 
when he prevented me. He said that it 
would be an act of charity on my part 
to refuse his request for food, because if 
he were to die on the road to Mecca, he 
would become a martyr. So when he 
begged again with his outstretched hand. 185 


I knew it was only a test of my resistance.” 
I he waitress observed that Thomas Ea- 
gleton Seagull was cating his dessert—a 
slice of pumpkin pie—by starting at the 
crusty base of its isosceles triangle. This 
was another slip-up, in the guise of an 
idiosynerasy. 
“Tipping is good karma,” she 
she gave him his check. 
CHAPTER ELEVEN 
‘There was a line of seekers waiting for 
an audience with the Six-Weck-Old Guru, 
who would answer only one question per 
person. A Baby-Talk Translator stood by 
to give the gurgles a more articulate form. 
It was legend that the infant's emerg- 
ng cgo had been baptized at the altar of 
excess chromosome damage so that it had 
bsolute empathy with whomever. 
Eventually, Thomas Eagleton Seagull’s 
turn came to ask a question. He had pon- 
dered it carefully. Now he looked into the 
nd spoke: “Is there free will?” 
The Six-Week-Old Guru stared up at 
his Mickey Mouse watch and gurgled 
The Baby-Talk Translator translated: 
“It's four-thiryy-three, time for the moon 
to go into Capricorn 
nswer to my question?" 
replied the Baby Talk Transla- 
‘ou forgot to say "Your Perfection’ 


PLAYEOY 


s that the 
"No, 


tor. 
first. 

“Oh, I'm terribly sorry." He addressed 
the infant again. “Your Perfection, is 
there free will? 

The Six-Weck-Old Guru. goo-gahed 
something in return—which translated 
t decide”—and spit up Pablum 
Lover a new sallron bib. 


5 Eagleton Seagull regurgitated 
himself with supreme peristalsis at the 
very moment that a reporter from Speck 
magazine was taking a leak and checking 
it out. He was investigating a tip that the 


newly selected Potential Second Best 


Human Being had actually been a seagull, 
The reporter's horror over what he dis- 
covered by simple research was overshad- 
owed only by his joy at being the one 
chosen to carry the torch for his maga- 
zine’s slogan: “Ye shall know the truth, 
and the truth shall make ye Silly Putty!" 

When the news broke, Thomas Eagle- 
ton Seagull tried to understand the basis 
of his anxiety. After all, he had originally 
wanted just to be a human, not the Scc- 
ond Best Human Being, let alone Poten- 
tial, so what difference should it make to 
him now that his background presented 
а possible obstacle to that goal? 

Yet it bothered him. Didn't other 
humans appreciate the energy he had 
harnessed so positively to transcend sea- 
ıllhood? 

Besides, it was a matter of public rec- 
ord that the man who was presently the 
Best Human Being had himself been a 
turtle. More important, he continued to 

186 exhibit outrageous symptoms of turtle 


consciousness, Why was everybody ignor- 
ing that so readily? 

But then a story was published that 
Thomas Eagleton Seagull had once been 
guilty of drunk flying. It didn’t matter 
that such gossip was unprovable. The 
stench of vomit still dung to his aura. 

Was this to be his fulfilhnent of the 
human dream? 


CHAPTER TWELVE 

Then 1 said to myself: “Self, it 
won't be pleasant. It won't be sweet. 
It won't be easy, but it's got to be 
done.” So later that night, we de- 
cided to hold a press conference in 
Los Angeles the following morning, 
then one in Honolulu, and again 
today in San Francisco. . . . 

Гос got to win, Гос got to do it for 
Terry. Гое got to make it for Terry. 

4 don't know where РИ be fiwe 
years from now, but I know that ГЇЇ 
look back upon this experience as а 
positive turning point in my life. I'm 
stronger and wiser because of it. I've 
taken the heat by myself and 1 
haven't. crumbled. Рт not being 
smugly complacent, but I think that 
1 have come through a tough cru- 
cible, and 1 [ес а helluva lot stronger 
as а result. 

1 feel like a man. 

—THOMAS EAGLETON 

ewsweek, August 7, 1972 


Kiss my ass. —GEORCE NCCOVERN 

He came down gradually from the eu- 
phoria of his temporary status. The 
weight of prejudice against his previous 
incarnation was eventually deemed by 
leading editorialists to be too great for 
Thomas Eagleton Seagull to continue 
being regarded as Potential Second Best 
Human Being. 

Paradoxically, he was welcomed as a 
hero wherever he went after he had been 
banished from official consideration. 

He received several offers to do com- 
mercials—for Hartz Mountain Bird 
Food, for Trans World Airlines, for Alio- 
to's Seafood Restaurant—but he declined 
them all. 

He refused to consider a publisher's 
$1,000,000 contract to write a book called 
The Sensuous Seagull. 

He turned down a professorial post in 
the department of applied anthropomor- 
phism at Stanford University. “I'd rather 
teach by example,” he explained. 

However, he was approached by the 
Sur of Will (SOW) Frozen Sperm 
Bank with a request he chose to accept. 
This was a world-wide organization based 
in Las Vegas that specialized in selective 
breeding for the future. 

“We believe that competing ideologies 
are all subordinate to the strength of will 
itself,” expounded the director. “And so 
we invite men from science, indusuy, 
the arts, government, communications— 
we invite men who аус in common the 
proven will to achieve, no matter what, to 


sow their seed in our laboratories, to pre- 
serve that mysterious force in their genes 
that will result in the ultimate triumph of 
the will” 

“Wait.” Thomas Eagleton Seagull re- 
called encounter with the women's 
liberation activist. "Don't you have any 
frozen ovum, too? I mean, for the sake of 
equality.” 

No way," replied the director. “That 
would require gestation to take place out- 
side the womb. We must draw the line 
somewhere.’ 

Thomas Eagleton Seagull had an im- 
pulse to say, “Let's just forget the whole 
thing,” but he didn't want to offend the 
director, who went on: 

"Naturally, we don't want to play God. 
But inasmuch as fifty percent of the sper- 
matozoa die off in the freezing process, 
there is, in effect, a biological selection 
as well as our own admittedly fallible 
screening procedures.” 

“I do have one vital reservation, 
though,” interjected Thomas Eagleton 
Seagull. “I would not want any offspring 
of mine, no matter how strong-willed, to 
be subjected to ostracism because of hav- 
ing been sired by me. 

Ni the director reassured 


Nor to wor 
"You see, we have concluded that 
pride can function as a diversion from e: 
ercising one's will. And, of course, being 
ashamed of one’s specific ancestry works 
the other side of that same coin. Conse- 
quently, we mix all our different donor 
semen into one big frozen superior collec 
tive unconscious, to allow for an even fur- 
ther climination of the weak. Thus, vou 
can never be sure if it is your spermato- 
zoon that will do the fertilizing. Thi 
method is our corollary to the military -fir- 
ingsquad protocol that always includes 
one rifle loaded with blanks, so that each 
member can live with the possibility that 
his was not the fatal trigger. Conversely, 
no SOW descendants of yours will ever. 
know for certain that there was a scagull 
in his pa 


CHAPTER THIRTEEN 

"The Survival of. Will Frozen Sperm 
Bank had an ct with 
Soulmate Temporaries to provide those 
individuals who participated in the pro- 
gram as Receivers of the fresh semen in 
the company condoms. 

Although these prophylactics were not 
intended as contraceptives, this would 
have been a by-product of their use, had 
not the manager of SOW Seedeatchers—a 
Roman Catholic who objected to artifi- 
cial birth-control devices—hired а bevy 
of priests to put a pinhole prick in the res- 
стуой tip of cach onc as it rolled off the 
assembly line. 

In the Water Bed Room at the Sperm 
Bank, Cleo, the partner assigned to 
Thomas Eagleton Seagull, had a surprise 
for him. She donned a seagull costume 
after they were both naked. 

Cleo managed to smile seductively; she 


had been promised a huge bonus by the 
director of the Sperm Bank for the 
extremely specialized performance that 
would be required of her. 

After a while, Thon 
gull began repeating her 
Cleo... Cle 
ness, she assumed her position. She squat- 
ted down on hands and knees. The ruffle 
lifting tail enticed him into a 


s Eagleton Sea- 


ntoxication. He started 


stray kind of ii 
moving his neck as though he were wear- 
ing an invisible stereo headset. 


JE behind her, he raised 
« till they reached 
isping voice of 


Situating hims 
his bent arms outw 
shoulder level. Then. the 
his alter ego intoned a f. г cadence— 
"No shit. no shit. no shit, no shit, no 
shit, no shit, no shit, no shit, NO SHIT, 
NO SHIT. NO SHIT. NO SHIT. NO 
SHIT?"—as he mounted her, 

She kept rubbing the back of her sea- 
gull head against his chest, occasionally 
around and tweaking the hair 
around his nipples with her beak. 

Just belore climaying, she yelled out: 
“I'm fucking Thomas Eagleton Seagull!” 

In return, he screeched: “I'm fucking 
Molly Salami Seagull! 


And ejaculated in the process, going 
“Hwa... hwa ... hwa. 
Having hypnotized himself into a 


t, he fell off Cleo. 
nsciousness, she 


was gone. He felt relieved at heing left 
now he could comb his 
t feel comfortable doing 
that in front of anybody. 

А tinge of regret seared through his 
nude body as he remembered preening 
his feathers once. For an instant. he 
wished he could unwind, back to that 
time, the watch he hadn't removed from 
his wrist. 


CHAPTER FOURTEEN 
The next day, a Creature with Two 
Heads paid him a surprise visit. One head. 
was Reality and the other was Paranoia 
Fath was а virtuoso ventriloquist, so it 


1 havea soul now." 
“No, no, you've always had a soul. 
What you have now thar you didn't have 
then is a reputation. An immortal reputa- 
tion. Your soul is how you spend your 
passion. But your reputation is the im: 
others have of you regardless of the ad- 
ministration of your soul.” He began set- 
ting up a motion-picture projector. “And 
now I want to show you a little movie.” 

The film must have ken 


heen 


through a one-way mirror at the Sperm 
Bank. for there on the screen was Thomas 
agleton Seagull’s copulation scene of 
the day before. 

at do you plan to do with this 


Wi 
film?” 

“Oh, nothing special. We simply keep 
them all in vaults. We are supplied by 
Soulmate Temporaries not only with rav- 


ishing women such as Cleo but also with 
homosexual men, sadomasochists, copro- 
philiacs. plus an assortment of wild and 


domesticated апі The Creature 
held ont an imaginary fan of playing 
Pick a perversion, any perversion: 
ght say that our films area form of 
control insurance along with nonsexual 
exploits such as bribery, embezzlement, 


smuggling. Whatever. But unless you 
plan to rock the proverbial boat, you 
really don’t have anything to worry 


about.” 

Thomas Eagleton Seagull had never 
en so depressed. He felt trapped as а 
n and just wanted to escape. 

"Why do you want to control people? 
heasked. 

"ICs the only way we can si 
Regulation of the educational system is 
the fundamental target on our agenda. 
You see, we have an actual timetable for 
seizing total control, as measured by the 
grand scale of our pyramid structure: 
Provocateurs, informers and Entrappers 


Comparing. 


Plus a 


ourselves. 


AKAI America, 


"Dolby" is a Trade Mark of 
Dolby Laboratories, Inc. 


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Los Angeles, Calif. 90055 The Innovators 187 


Where-To-Buy-It? Use REACTS Card—Page 61. 


Wetold you so...but 
you had to find out 
for yourself! 


We tried. With pictures. Words. Graphs, 
But you were skeptical. So you spent two solid weeks 
trotting from dealer to dealer. Listening. Scrutinizing. 


And now you're a little sore. But satisfied. Because that 
AKAI cassette deck you just bought has these ез 
© AKATs exclusive GX (glass and crystal 


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ferrite) Head for the most efficient sound 
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|l the other features you've wanted: 
® Automatic-Stop ® Direct Function Change Control Keys 
* Pause Control 
* Headphone Jack € 3-Digit Index Counter 

After all your efforts, you proudly call your AKAI GXC- 
38D: “The best darn cassette deck for the money!” 

And we have to agree. 

Because really, we couldn’t have said it any better 


* Tape Selector Switch 


PLAYBOY 


188 


Tactical Yardstick PIETY.” The Crea- 
ture brought out an immense organi- 
zational chart to illustrate his scenario. 
Now, cheer up." he said later. “The past 
doesn’t exist anymore, except in our 
vaults. Nor will the present seem so bleak 
in the future. So try to have your retro- 
spect in advance, and you'll be conten 

Despite the source, this advice worked. 
In fact, when a rock group called The 
d Munchies produced а hit record 
utilizing the sound track of his Sperm 
Bank film, Thomas Eagleton Seagull 
might even have regretted his anonymity, 
t for the secret royalties—a sort of 
consolation prize from the Creature with 
Iwo Heads—which helped support his 


He had acquired a wife and two chil- 
dren, It was an enigma to him that he was 
afraid to tell them what it was he was pro- 
tecting them from, especially since if he 
told them, then he would no longer be 
afraid that they would find out 

What kind of world was this, where 


"That's 


strangers knew more about you than 
the people you were supposed to be 


intimate with? 


CHAPTER FIFTEEN 

He could hardly believe that he was 
being interviewed on the Tonight show. 

Ed McMahon had just finished doing 
a commercial for a vibrator to be used 
only for the prevention of insomnia, 
called Dil-Doze: 

Now Johnny Carson was saying, “Hey, 
somebody told me that you went to a 
sperm bank. , ..” 

A spasm of terror suddenly scattered it- 
self throughout Thomas Eagleton Sca- 
gull’s body. He knew that on this program 
they sometimes showed surprise film foot- 
age. But were they now going to present 
him and Cleo committing coitus for mil- 
lions of unseen viewers? Was this the logi- 
cal extension of spectator conversation? 

“Well, Johnny, that’s true, yes.” he 
began to answer, His hesitation was sur- 
rounded by a slightly tense silence. "Now, 
I'm not trying to skirt the question," he 


very nice of you, Benjamin, but this 
time I need a real doctor." 


wanted to say, "but can we talk about 
that another time? You could even show 
the film that was taken at the sperm 
bank. I've talked it over with my loved 
ones and, although we hadn't really 
thought in terms of network television, 
that would be a calculated risk of our de- 
cision. But right now, Johnny, I'd rather 
share with you and your viewing audi- 
ence an esoteric experience I had this 
morning. | had driven from my hotel 
down to the beach at Malibu and I was 
listening to the ocean. It has so many dif- 
ferent tonal levels and rhythms. This 
used to be our music, you know. Anywa 
after a while, 1 heard a Voice. 'I am Your 
Own Computer, it said. ‘I am the sum 
total of all the information that has been 
fed to Me- I asked, ‘Do all human beings 
have a Computer like You?’ "Everybody 
has His Own Computer, but each is 
unique. You are the only one who has 
a Computer just like Me, because cach 
individually franchised Computer has 
massed different information on which 
conclusions are based. 1, in turn, give you 
information all the time, even when you 
don't consult Me, but sometimes you are 
being insidiously fed by other Computers 
nd you begin to substitute Them for 
Me. And when you do that, you, in turn, 
alfect still other people's Computers. You 
must pay attention to Your Own Com- 
puter. But you, Thomas Eagleton Sea 
gull, who came into this world totally 
innocent yet totally articulate, who fed 
a variety of new information joyously, 
already you have begun to ignore Mc. 
When you told the imerviewer from 
Speck magazine that you had to become 
Potential Second Best Human Being for 
the sake of your son, I was saying to you, 
"What about your dauglici?" But did 
you listen to Me? Oh, по, And just what 
do you think that did to Her Own Com- 
puter? We feed on Ourselves, too, you 
understand. Whenever you desensi 
anyone else's Computer, you autom 
cally limit the associative powers of Your 
Own. So. Now that you have found out 
the Horn of Plenty is filled with the seeds 
of extortion, do you realize that they must 
have known from the beginning that you 
had been a seagull? That they knew you 
would be another diversion to their ad- 
vantage? Well, Johnny, I was shocked, to 
say the least. I wondered aloud, “Bue what 
would be Шей motivation? My Own 
Computer responded, ‘Survival of the fit- 
test reputations. When you were a seagull, 
you never asked why, you just did what 
you had to do. But, you sce, the ones who 
have something on you, well, others have 
something on them. The fear of public 
humiliation is a heavy burden. And the 
threat of prison is a shroud of domi- 
nation. Moreover, for those who have 
already been there, the possibility of pa- 
role revocation provides the soldiers of 
PIETY necessary to manipulate a state of 
division and conquest. You know you are 
dealing with experts in dissemi 


falsc propaganda, to make people suspi- 
cious, not only of simulated skyjackers 
id snipers but also of each other, until 
they welcome repression. You must be 
kind to each other's Computers. You have 
a responsibility to be careful of what i 
formation you feed someone else's Com- 
putcr. And feel free to call on Your Own 
Computer whenever you want a real see- 
look beyond the data.” And the Voice 
ppeared, Johnny. Now, I'm not 
vacher or anything like that, but 
we a deep sense of loyalty to my 
species. . . ." 

That's what he wanted to say, but ap- 
parently he didn't want to say it strongly 
enough. 

Instead, all he said was: “Well, Johnny, 
that's true, yes. . - . 1 went to a sperm 
bank the other day and they couldn't 
even freeze ii 

The studio audience gave him a stand- 
ing ova Not just a regular standing 
ovation but a superregular standing ova- 
tion. They all stood on their chairs and 
ovated. 

“They really love you,” said Johnny 
Carson. “You're a great guest.” 

“No, they're only applauding for their 
own perception.” 

He gazed longingly at a package that 
Johnny Carson had to hold up ona ped- 
estal, He felt so ashamed. What had hap- 
pened to the freedom of his will? As a 
seagull, he had never found it necessary 
to rationalize his behavior. But now he 
knew that if he were to say what he be- 
lieved, they would have booed him. They 
would have accused him of spreading pa 
anoia. They would have thought he was 


Although he had been a human being 
for only a few months, Thomas Eagleton 
Seagull had already absorbed, as if by os- 
mosis, the basic method of survival in his 
new environment. 

He had learned how to fake s 


y- 
CHAPTER SIXTEEN 
oblem of predestination was 


his mind. He sought 
out an Ancient Indian Sage who told him 
that there was, indeed, a Divine Plan: 
spontaneity. 

“When you leave here,” 
dicted, “you will immedi 
frontation with a strange 
to the Omnipotent Presence, you will 
give that stranger your wrist watch. Do 
you agree to carry out this prophecy of 
your own volition? 
sh, I don't know. This would be 
the first night Т slept without my watch 
on,” 


the 5 


As а sacrifice 


“You must have faith in faith.” 
‘OK, PII do i 

As soon as he got outside, a young man 
pursued him much in the manner of a 
dope peddler. “Hey, mister," he mur- 
mured in a clandestine fashion. "Do you 
want Eternity?" 


"I beg your pardon 


“But, Lew, you always said, ‘If it feels good. do it?” 


fou have to atone for your sins 

“I don't have any sins.” 

“You cannot live with the Lord forever 
if you won't confess your sins now. How 
tan you petitiun fur forgiveness if you 
pretend you have nothing to [orgi 

"I'm not pretending. I just can't tl 
of any si 

"That's a sin!” 

Thomas Eagleton 
back. He had once been a seagull, but 
that wasn't a sin, it was just a skeleton in 
his closet. He had smoked marijuana, but 
that wasn't a sin, it was just against the 
law. He had withheld testimony on the 
Johnny Carson show, but that wasn’t a 
was just a compromise. And then 
he thought of something. 

“Does adultery count as a sin if you do 
itin a sperm bank 

“Yes, yes, and unless уо 
Christ as your personal sav 
going to burn in hell!” 

Whereupon Thomas Eagleton Seagull 
decided not to give his watch to this 
Jesus freak. 

He retur 
Sage and 
happened. 
“Ah, good,” was the response. “You are 
n excellent student. Already you have 
mastered the technique of accepting your 
predestined ‘ow, what is your next 
goal?" 

“To avoid disappointme 

“Then you must give up all desires, in- 
cluding your desire to remain desireless. 
For passions of the spirit are more selfish. 


Seagull thought: 


embrace 
; you're 


ей to the Ancient Indian 
elated to him what had 


to sustain than passions of the flesh. The 
notion of celibacy as a discipline neces- 
sary to attain enlightenment is to deny 
Nature. And the notion of enlightenment 
as a finite stage in your development is to 
deny the possibility of further growth. 
Enlightenment. is coming. Or, to put 

another way, enlightenment is not com- 
ing.” He sighed deeply. "Have you not 
understood the way to maintain a bal- 
ance between involvement and detach- 
ment? You must get closer to God. . , ." 


And so it was that Thomas Eagleton 
Seagull decided to become a product. 

He realized that to reach such a level 
he would eventually have to surrender his 
will entirely. When he had been a seagull, 
he was able 1o become а human being 
h the dedicated exercise of hi 
will. In the process, he had learned that 
his will existed only in relation to his lack 
of will. 
rendering my will" he prodded 
himself. “is itself going to be a continuing 
act of will.” 

Briefly he savored the implications of 
developing the power to inspire orgasmic 
se in others without even being con- 
ious himself. That was certainly some- 
thing to anticipate. He would never be 
sappointed a 
Thomas Eagleton Seagull looked at 
his Mickey Mouse watch to see what time 
it was when he t to the Ancient 
Indian Sage, and “Infinity now!” 


gain. 


189 


190 


DR. HOOK AND THE MEDICINE SHOW zhe wild bunch 


COMEDY IN ROCK is as old as the Coasters and as new as the septet 
of lunatics pictured below, whose life—most of it spent on the 
road. blowing the minds of groupies. cops. stagehands, et al.—is 
суету bit аз wiggy as their songs, Behind the clowning, however, 
Jic umpteen collective years of solid experience. Ray Sa 
he's “Dr. Hook”—is an Alabama boy who felt “doomed” to be 
a musician at 11. He's been one ever since, except for a stint in 
the Northwest as a logger, which ended when he lost an eye in a 
car wreck. He found George Cummings, Jr., and Billy Francis 
in the latter's home town of Mobile: a junket to Union City. 
New Jersey, turned up Dennis Locorricre, a naturally funny na 
tive of that burg (“All the people are either drinking or working 
hard, and both them things make you wanna fight"). Jay David 
claims to have met his colleagues “in a parking lot in Dayton, 
Ohio... . As everyone expressed a desire to form a band. I went 
to sleep. When E woke up, Dr. Hook was a working group.” And 


JIM MARSHALL 


“IT'S NOT JUST GEM MICKRY, " says 3 old movie director Brian 
DePalma. “I conceived it as an economical storytelling tech- 
nique" Нез talking about the repeated use of an inventive 
visual. device—one scene shot from two camera angles, then 
ced side by side on a split screen— in his latest film, Sisters. 
DePalma, "just after а murder has been 
committed in the picture, you see someone at the window from 
two points of view. On onc side of the screen, the cimera pulls 
slowly buck, taking the audience carefully away from the trauma 
of the murder. But the other side of the screen holds them there 
зо the «Пес is to gradually move the audience out, not jerk 
them by just cutting to another scene." DePalma. a Philadelphia 
ive, shot his first footage while a student at Columbia t 
versity; and after graduation, he made documentaries for clients 
ranging [vom the Treasury Department to the NAACP, wrote 
ud directed some low-budget box-office bombs and lived “at 


still working neighborhood bars, until they were heard by their 
current manager and producer. Ron Haffkine, who decided they 
were just the combo to perform а zany score—for the film Who 
15 Harry Kellerman?—that his buddy Shel Silverstein was busy 
composing. The alliance with Haffkine—who is credited with 
encouraging the boys to ler out their natural craziness via in 

promptu onstage raped to: a bonus contract with Columb 
Records, the acquisition of Jance Garfat and Rik Elswit, bring- 
ing the roster to a lucky seven and two monster hits penned by 
Silverstein. Sylvia's Mother, a satire of lachrymose teenage bal- 
ids, went all the way. commercially speaking: and The Gover 
of “Rolling Stone” actually got them there. But the Stone cover 
that followed the record was only a prelude to their nude center- 
fold in Zipper, an "art and emertainment" magazii ay 
overtones) out of L.A. As they say (“We're just as faggy as ther 

big rock stars"), they'll do anything to hook a few new fans. 


BRIAN DE PALMA ‘he 


a level of upper-middle subsistence.” Then, in 1968, he raised 
money for Greetings, a broadly satirical film dealing with draft 
dodging, Kennedy assassination paranoia and myriad other 
downers of the decade. It was his first financial success and he 
followed with Hj, Mom, a sort of sequel that also made Iun of 
sex films, educational television and bleedinghear liberals, 
He's planning two new films, Phantom of the Fillmore 
(“taking the oll Phantom of the Opera and. turning it into a 
contemporary horror rock film featuring a character of the Alice 
Cooper school of performing arts”) and Реја Vu ( 
love story with a thriller underpinning, along the lines of Verti- 
0"). From his New York apartment, DePalma writes, casts and 
confers with collaborators. “I start,” he expl th strong 
visual images. Then I construct а story around them. It usua 
works, if you've made enough films.” It clearly does lor DePalma. 
which is why his fans think he hasn’t made enough films. 


ow 


KEN REGAN /CAMERA 5 


CARL BERNSTEIN AND 
BOB WOODWARD superscoops 


IMAGINE WHAT FRUSTRATION and drudgery a reaMife Mission 
Impossible team would have to endure to break up an inter- 
national conspiracy every week and you'll have some idea of 
what Carl Bernstein (left) and Bob. Woodward (right) went 
through putting together the Watergate jigsaw puzzle in The 
Washington Posi. There was no hot scoop. "no Ellsberg wheel- 
ing in a shopping cart full of documents" Woodward says 
"There was the initial flash: Burglars in business suits and surg 
gloves with sophisticated electronic equipment meant more 
than theft. The follow-up involved relentless questioning of all 
the secret welterweight sources who might know anything 

what the heavies were doin led meticulous gle 
from volumes of fragmented information, then hours еа 
connecting gations, before w 
story they knew would be denied by offcials all the way up 
to the President, “You just sat down at six and wrote what 
you knew," Woodward says. "If you couldn't confirm it with 
at least two sources, you didn't know anything.” Though Bern- 
stein, at 29, has worked for newspapers more than 13 years and 
30-year-old Woodward proved his investigative ability long 
belorc Watergate, no one would have imagined they would 
break one of the biggest stories in our Governments history 
and give new credibility to American journalism, The two 
hadn't even worked together before, but the combination of 
their particular skills and backgrounds worked so well that 
they're going to continue as а team. They're now writing а 
book about Nivon. Beyond that, neither has specific projects 
planned, but Woodward continues to be interested in fina! 
scandals, while Bernstein wants to cover the Knicks, Wherever 
that leads, both are concerned about the impoverished state of 
journalism: “Agnew was really right about the press,” Wood- 
ward says. "Les casier to be a lazy journalist than anything else." 


191 


PLAYBOY 


192 


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PLAYBOY PANEL 


(continued from page 98) 
POMEROY: I can't buy that. There are oth- 
‚ more valid reasons for sadomasochism 
nd bondage. One—and its а thing that 
people don't quite understand—is that. 
when a person becomes aroused sexually, 
all of his or her sensory thresholds go up. 
"The individual can't hear, smell or feel as. 
well. So something that's painful in a 
non-erotic state can be mildly titillating 
when you're aroused. You're in а differ- 
ent physiological state, 
DODSON: A playful example of S 
to 
i 


nd M is 
kle people until they become hyster- 
al and give up. You reach a peak, and 
then you just let go and it all stops and a 
peaceful calm comes over you, Did you 
ever do that when you were a kid? Get 
tickled until you laughed yourself silly? 
LOVELACE: Yes. 1 can remember when 
someone, even several people, have held 
me down and tickled me, And I still think 
of freaky things to do—and to be done to 
me. I get turned on by watching vampire 
movies where they have toi 
bers. The id of being humiliated 
doesn't turn me on, but having things 
happen to me while I'm tied down is my 
major fantasy, It’s a whole wip, like a sit- 
uation м you come so many times 
that you become supersensitive and wy to 
move and jerk yourself away. If you're 
tied down, you can't. I's really fantas- 
tic. That's probably my only unfulfilled 
тазу. 

VAN DEN HAAG: That desire presupposes 
а great deal of guilt feeling. Apparently, 
you want to be punished. 

LOVELACE: No, І don't; 1 don't have any 
guilt feelings, either. 

POMEROY: Very commonly, particularly 


the female, a desire for bondage suppose: 
that she's looking for a way out of 
sibility. If she's tied down, she ca 


herself. Women's fantasies of being raped 
are essentially the same thing. I would 
guess that rape, bondage and forced deg: 
adation would constitute around. 10 or 
15 percent of all female fantasies. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: If I у come to Linda's 
rescue here: As much as we are basically 


against S and M and bondage, for ideo. 
logical and mental-health reasons, the 
kind of fantasy Linda is talking about 


doesn't necessarily presuppose guilt or a 
renunciation of responsibility for one's 
acts. It doesn't even qualify as genuine 
sadomasochism, at least not in the ge 
ally accepted, clinical sense of the term. 1 
think one has to be very careful in inter- 
preting such fantasies, or even behavior, 
without knowing more about the psychol- 
ogy of the person involved. 

PLAYBOY: What's the most common female 
sexual fantasy? 

POMEROY: Straight intercourse, male 
bove, female below. But many females 
don't fantasize at all. 

DODSON: I think it's superimpor 


t for 


women to fantasize more. Learning to 
fantasize expands your imagination, 
which, in turn, develops your capacity to 
be creative. A lot of my old fantasies have 
been lived out and my new fantasies are a 
lot more interesting. One of my favorite 
sexual fantasics is the making of a porno 
movie, | imagine that 1 am the camera, 
the crew and the star in every scene. 
once actually in an orgy that was filmed 
and it was a fantastic sexual turn-on. H T 
continue to have orgasms with my porno- 
movie fantasy, I'm sure ТЇЇ end up асди. 
ally doing it someday. 

SIMON: While most women may not haye 
explicitly sexual fantasies, females who 
aren't aroused watching a porno flick can 
be aroused watching Elizabeth Taylor 
making eyes at Richard Burton across а 
d0-foot screen, even when, having read 
the novel, they know they wont суеп 
touch cach other for another 27 minutes. 
Romantic love can be the pornography of 
females. And both types of fantasies may 
misserve their creators, Меп asize sex 
wal acts they will never realize; women 
train themselves for romantic expecta- 
tions they will rarely experience. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: 1 е lots of sexual fan- 
tasies that remain unfulfilled. But Um 
going to save them for my autobiography. 
DAVIS: I fantasize, but J don't want to talk. 
about it—or write about it, either. A lot 
of women don't nt to rev their 
сз, maybe because theyre afraid 
they'll go away Takso would never be th: 
explicit, knowing that men will read th; 
Its none of their business. 

PERRY- I've already written my autobiog- 
raphy, so there's no use holding out on 
all of you. My unfulfilled fantasy is mak 
it with Burt Reynolds. 

GOLDSTEIN: You and Helen Gurley Bro: 
The fantasies / run across are quite a bit 
farther out than that amazing 
how fashions of whats considered far 
out have changed? When I was 19 or 20, 
the forbidden fruit was eating pussy. All 
the guys wanted to, but they wouldn't 
admi —because that meant there was 
something wrong with you. You'd let a 
woman suck your cock, but to cat pussy 
was on some level unmasculine. Today 
that’s commonplace, but we sce ads in 
Screw not only for 5 and M, as I men. 
tioned, but for “water sports.” Men who 
want to be pissed upon or shit upon, 1 see 
this as a step away from the sexual usag 
of the body and an emphasis on the j 
clearing functions of those parts that 
both sexual and excretory capabil 
Fm sure а Freudian would have gr 
fun with the psychological dynamics 
of all that. 

POMEROY: Anal intercourse, of course, has 
been practiced throughout history. It ос. 
curs in about ten percent of marr 
GOLDSTHN: Do you have 
erything? 

PERRY: Many people don't realize that 
the stare of Californ even husbands 


Isn't it 


and wives can go to prison for up to 
15 years for performing oral sex. If you 
fall off the bed in the middle of inter- 
course. before you hit the floor you've 
broken 50 state laws. This applies not 
just to gay people but to heterosexuals— 
although it’s usually enforced only against 
homosexuals. 

MONEY: In Massachusetts, unless they've 
changed the law, intercourse must be per- 
formed with the man above the woman, 
their bodies covered by a sheet and the 
blinds drawn. 

POMEROY: | don't know what your experi- 
ence has been, but in our research, we've 
found an interesting social difference 
among homosexuals. There's more anal 
intercourse on lower social levels and 
more fellatio on upper social levels. In 
heterosexual anal intercourse, 1 don't be- 
сус that distinction exists. It's practiced 
by people who are experimenting all the 
round. 

GOLDSTEIN: I certainly don't sec anal inter- 
course increasing. In fact, we scheduled a 
symposium оп ass fucking and we almost 
had to call it off, because nobody was into 
that, so to speak. 

DODSON: Liberating the asshole is next on 
the list. Lately, some of us women have 
been encouraging straight men to ex- 
perience penetration, We gently insert a 
finger. If he learns how to relax his 
sphincter muscle, he can then graduate 
to the penisshaped vibrator. Most men 
e very fearlul lor their assholes, and it's 
structive as well as liberating for them 
to learn to be pencuated. The first time 
Treally enjoyed anal intercourse was with 
а bisexual man who had been penetrated 
and he really knew how to do it. L think a 
lot of heterosexual men haye hurt women 
with ass fucking, and that’s why they are 
so alraid of it themselves. But if you know 
how to do it properly, and you know how 
to take care of your body, it can be a very 
crotic experience. 

Lovelace: I think it's g 
ter of fact, if 1 were choosing which was 
the most gasm—clitoral, vagi- 
nal or anal—Ld say anal is the biggest. 
And it’s not at all uncomfortable, as most 
people psych themselves out to believe. 
POMEROY: People who have had limited 
amounts of anal intercourse commonly 
find it painful, because they haven't 
learned how to relax their sphincter mus- 
cles. When they become accustomed to it, 
they find anal intercourse є 
because the area around the anus is very 
sensitive 

LOVELACE: Sure. I let my mind control my 
body—as anybody who saw Deep Throat 
can tell you. For that 1 had to learn how 
to avoid gagging when a penis went down 
my throat. JUs ter of relaxation. 
Right now I could sit here and make my 
ass or my vagina so tight you couldn't put 
a finger in it. Or I can sit here and totally 
relax my muscles so there's no problem 
with anything—even a hand—going in. 


, too. Asan 


antastic ог 


nulati 


My anal opening doesn't expand as much 
as my vagina, though. The first inch of 
your ass is really the hard part. Once it 
penetrates beyond that, it's a whole heat 
tip. My whole body just starts bub- 
bling—it’s like a hot rush starting at my 
feet and running on up through my body 
to my head 
PLAYBOY: Are there any limits to permissi 
blc—or desirable—sexual behavior? 
VAN DEN HAAG: | am opposed to public 
display of sexual acts for their own sake— 
though not necessarily to the acts dis- 
played. Sexual acts strike me as private, 
involving private parts and relationships. 
private, what you do with a consenting 
person is your own affair. I think whether 
ог not what you do is good in terms of 
your own welfare should not be deter- 
mined by law. But exhibition, by defini- 
tion, exceeds the private sphere. 
POMEROY: I think there arc two limits to 
permissible behavior. One is hurting 
someone clse—imposing sex on some 
body who doesn't want it. The other is 
adults’ having sex with young children; 
and by young, I'm thinking primarily 
of preadolescent kids. Even though the 
child initiates it, wants it himself, I really 
question whether young children are ca- 
pable of making these decisions, 
VAN DEN HAAG: I'd agree with that, basi- 
cally. The only reason I might be op- 
posed to bestiality, to mention another 
form of behavi is that I'm not sure 
abour the consent of uie ашшы. 
DAVIS: Exactly. How cau you have à con- 
senting sheep? І knew а guy who fucked 
a chicken. But what choice does a chicken 
have? 1 don't understand bestiality at 
all. How could you be excited or fulfilled 
by something that doesn't make the 
choice to be with you? 
MONEY: Well, a dog, for example, cin very 
definitely choose to be with you, Dogs are 
turned on by human sexual scents. Some 
of them, especially neurotic dogs that 
have been apartment raised and have 
never led a normal dog's outdoor life, 
make themselves a goddamned nuisance. 
But don't forget the poor lonely, totally 
isolated lady whose only friend in lile is 
her dog or her cat, and don't cast the first 
stone at her because she gocs to bed at 
night with that animal sleeping between 
her legs. It might be the only comfort she 
ever had. Same for an old man who 
lost his wile—to say nothing of someone 
whose brain cells are beginning to fade 
out. There's a lot of comfort in а pet. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: A couple of years аро, we 
made a film in Denmark about people 
the live-sex-show business. We did a long 
interview with Bodil, а (arm girl who 
became famous, or notoi 
pearances in porno magazines and films 
with various animals. She told us she 
wouldn't dream of doing any of these 
things for her own personal turn-on. 
She did it only for the porno trade, as a 
living. But as a child, she did have her 


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193 


PLAYBOY 


“Ws what I figured. Your rubber band has gotien old.” 


first orgasm with a dog licking her, and 
to this day she really does get turned on 
by playing around with her stallion. I 
can't say more about it now, because our 
next book, Sex for Fun and Profit, deals 


didn't mind doing the porno thing: 

all these unlikely animals, like hogs and 
bulls, but— у shock you, Miss 
vis—she'd. t do shows with 
nw idiusyncra 
our sexual es may be. It 
also shows how toler: nd nonjudg- 
we must be in the whole arca of 


DODSON: Listen, making it with a dog has 
been one of my favorite masturbatory 
fantasies for years, I never had а prefer- 
ence for breed, but it was always a big 
furry dog. When 1 litle, I used to 
sleep with a big Teddy bear. But to some 
people, the whole idea of fucking with 
animals, or fucking in front of animals— 
or letting children watch you—just in- 
cites fear and anger. 
LOVELACE: I've never turned around and 
ked away from anything related to 
I have absolutely no taboos. 
PLAYBOY: How about necrophilia? 
t docsn't turn me on. But if 
somebody else enjoys it, I'm not going to 
condemn him for it. Maybe five ycars 
from now, though, I'll dig it. Who knows? 
PLAYBOY: Arc these new sexual life 
styles—and their practices—likely to be- 
come more widespread, or will they al- 
ways be marginal behavior? 
POMEROY: Why don't we take them one by 
one? I think traditional marriage is here 
to stay. The change in it will come in 
being more equal, more open. Group 
ge will always be marginal, mainly 
because its too damn complicated psy- 
chologically. Communes aren't going to 
be a big factor unless we have tremendous 
194 economic changes, which 1 can't foresee. 


Swi 


w 


nging, I think, is here to stay. There 
1 be periods when it swings more and 
periods when it swings less. Right now I 
suspect it's sort of on the wane rather 
than the waxing, but I can't say why. 
VAN DEN HAAG: [ scc group sex as becom- 
ing less prevalent in the future. Commu- 
nity pressure will be toward monogamous 
sexual relationships with a high degree of 
commitment. 1 hate to predict, but if you 
look at it historically, there lave always 
becn cycles along these lines. 
MONEY: As of this moment in history, I 
doubt that so-called infidelity in mar- 
riage is all that mach different from what 
it was 20, 30 or 50 years ago. But 1 suspect 
it will become more acceptable in the 
next quarter century, that partners will 
be able to tolerate outside sexual experi- 
ences with less difficulty. 
PERRY: I also feel that marriage, with 
some sort of legally binding contract, will 
always exist—eyen though the actual 
relationships between two people may 
drastically change. Now that women have 
the potential of being ruly equal to 
males, they will no longer let a husband 
have the sole right to venture outside 
the marriage. The family may exist in 
some altered form; a typical one may be 
made up of two males and two women or 
three males and three women, or a dozen 
assorted individuals making up a small 
y in an honest living situation—as 
well аз ап honest sexual situation. 

I've scen this happen in the gay com- 


munity. A friend of mine has had a rela- 


tionship with one lover for 22 years. 
‘There are wo other people in the house- 
hold whom he also loves deeply, and he 
has sex relationships with them. There 
а filth party who doesn't live in the house 
but has had sexual relations with each of 
them. Now, all of my friend’s sexual 
needs are met right there in hi 
household. And he's not some 20-year-old 


own 


kid; he's a man in his 40s. It can work. It 
does work. 

DAVIS: My hopes get mixed up with my e 
pectations; but I think Lesbianism will 
become more and more prevalent in the 
future, as more and more women see the 
light. Yes, I'm prejudiced. Yes, I'm prose- 
lytizing. But I'm not handing out leaflets 
on the corner—or, as society’s stereotype 
of Lesbians insists, advocating the seduc- 
tion of children. I simply believe there 
will bea natural evolution toward women 
loving women. I just hope it doesn't take 
too long. 

Monty: I'd like to suggest something that 
would make a real change in relation- 
ships between straight couples. Why not 
start. pregnancies in the early or middle 
teenage years, whenever its medically 
advisable, and get the breeding business 
finished with while we're still young 
and resilient? And then spend the ma- 
ture years doing something that's really 
more challenging? We've also got to do 
something about the problem of older 
people's sexuality—to say nothing of the 
fact that there are many more older 
women than older men in our society. I 
don't know how to provide sexual com- 
panionship for elderly ladies, but I do 
know they're desperate. There's а great 
market [or gigolos in Palm Beach, be- 
cause men die sooner than women. This, 
incidentally, is one of the best arguments 
for men’s liberation. If we could liberate 
men from some of the pressures they're 
under, they might live longer. 

DODSON: A Johns and b 


you to experience the other RET 
to understand the restrictions of roles. I 
"That's a stu- 
ad as the helpless-female 
role. Bur this last year, 1 experimented 
with the role of a dude. I was walkin’ tall 
and standin’ toe to toe. I even bought 
cowboy nd I always wear boots. ILI 
saw someone I liked, I would initiate the 
sex and then run the fuck. It was my 
responsibility to sce to our pleasure. I was 
always very fair. 1 would say what I want- 
cd to do sexually and we'd do it, and then 
we would do what he wanted to do. The 
stud role was very heavy, but I learned a 
lot from it. The pressure of going to 
party became anxiery-provoking; I 
ed to fecl like 1 had to "make ou 
would walk into the room and start to 
cruise, and it got to be like work. I 
had to cope with getting rejected and with 
bringing home a lousy lay. 1 now have 
lot more sympathy for men in their dith- 
cult role of always having to pursue and 
initiate sex. The problem with sex roles 
is the restriction of living half a life— 
master/slave, passive/aggressive, domi- 
nant/submissive. I spent most of my Ше 
looking for my other half, and I found my 
other half inside myself. Its like being a 
whole person. 1 think that masturbation. 
is the primary sexual base; it gets us 


through childhood, puberty, dating. mar- 
. heavy work periods and old ag 
Bur now that I'm responsible for my own 
orgasm, I find Im even more comfort 
able sharing sex and sensuality with 
other people. 
PLAYBOY: In your estimation, what is 
the ideal sexual life style—or is there 
such a thi 
DAVIS: My ideal life style, which will sur- 
prise nobody by now, is unadulterated 
Lesbianism. If I could have my way. | 
would espouse total homosexuality for at 
least the next 200 years. We don't need 
procreation as much as we used to, any- 
way, and I believe cloning is on its way 
and artificial insemination would be just 
ne. Maybe after 200 years apart, the 
sexes could learn to have the kind of re- 
spect for cach other and independence 
from cach other that we don't have now. 
Of course, this. utopian idea that has 
little chance of being achieved. But I can 
wish, can't 1? 
LOVELACE: І would say Ше vip I'm into 
ow is the ideal sexual life style. I'm free. 
When I want to ball, I ball. I don't feel 
any kind of hang-ups about it. Like, when 
1 want something or someone, I do it, 
get him or her. And 1 enjoy myself. 
MONEY: Whether we pick Linda's or 
Madeline's way or some other way, we 
have no choice but to try to look for a 
new sexual life style. The human race has 
to take stock of itself again. It's not an cs- 
oteric exercise we're engaged in as we sit 
here; it's an imperative one. Lhe age at 
which puberty occurs is going down no 
one knows why—at the rate of four 
months every ten. years. In Bach's day, 
boys quit singing soprano when they were 
17. Today they quit av 13. And on the 
other end of the scale, since the begin- 
ning of the century, we've had about 20 
years added onto our lives, so that we live 
to be 70 or 80, Nobody knows where 
that's going to stop. On top of that, our 
лапа аце invented birth conwol—but 
all we've done since is refuse to talk to 
teenagers about it. I can give you а paral- 
lel as to what all that means: The auto- 
mobile was invented about the same time 
as reliable birth-control devices. We've 
made a few concessions to that discovery, 
€ spending of dollars on su- 
perhighways. but I don't uced to tell you 
that we're still in a terrible mess, that we 
didn't design our whole transportation 
system very well after we got automobiles, 
and that we're still in hopeless chaos over 
what would be a better way to design it 
Might we not also consider that it’s a 
major challenge of our age to rede: 
people's mating relationships instead of 
borrowing them from the Bible? 
PLAYBOY: Have you any suggestions on 
how to go about that? 
MONEY: As one possible ideal, I like the 
bill proposing three-year marriages that 
as introduced in the Maryland state as- 
ther party wanted it, 
solved after 


that period—for any reason at all. So а lot. 
of money wouldn't be wasted on legal 
fees if a couple mutually decided to end 
a relationship, while still providing for 
offspring, if any. We don't need the idea 
of monogamous marriage for life—till 
death do us part. Death used to part us 
much sooner than it does now. I would 
like to sec more varieties of life style 
made available to people. so there's a bet- 
ter fit between the individuals and the 
styles—not this rather frenetic effort to 
push everybody into the same mold. 
POMEROY: You're right. People are so vast- 
ly different from one another. For some 
people, sex outside the onc intimate rela- 
tionship, for example, would be meaning- 
less or destructive, For other people. i 
could supply a delightful variety. I don’t 
think you can build up an ideal sex or 
love life style for people. We should work 
toward flexibility. 

g with most of what War- 
md John have said so very well, I 
would only want to add that what wc arc 
and what we do sexually should be suffi- 
ciently connected to the rest of our lives 
that we are able to recognize ourselves 
when we're being sexual; that our sexual- 
ity not be something shadowed by silence; 
that it be something we don't have to hide 
from oth nd still less from ourselves. 
VAN DEN НААС: It’s very true that we са 
not isolate sex from the rest of our lives. 
That's why I don't believe that sexual 
perimenters are likely to become happy 
through their experiments; they tend to 
dissociate ses sensations from feel 
Sex becomes the technology of generating 
sensations, and a person who so isolates 
sex will go in endless search of sensation. 


His thirst cannot be slaked, because he 
has repressed the awareness that he wants 
love, and he has lost the ability to give 
and receive it, to relate to others. Using 
this technique on a depersonalized dito 
ris, or that technique on а depersonalized 
penis, is а poor substitute. I wouldn't 
hold up this disturbed behavior as the 
model of a life style. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: To use such labels as dis- 
turbed beha ing that isn't to 
one's liking ew way of saying 
something is evil or sinful, It contami- 
nates the issue with prejudice, I find your 
last remark totally malapropos; it simply 
vs we have not been truly communi- 
g, but talking past one another. If I 
сап return to the question we were dis- 
п was about ideal sexual 
life styles—I'd like the future, in many 
ways, to be like the recent past ata place 
called the Sandstone Retreat, It was а 
sexual paradise that could have been. 
irst of all. it was geographically ideal, 
on a I5acre site in the Topanga Hills 
overlooking the Pacific in Southern Cali- 
fornia. You could see the shimmering 
occan over a rim of the mountains. It 
was really gorgeous. Beautiful grounds. 
A main house with teakwood floors and 
walls, A huge Olympicsized indoor 
swimming pool. The atmosphere was just 
perfect. Most of the members were very 
much into the ideology of extending love 
relationships outward to many other 
people. The emphasis was more on love 
than on passion or sexual excitement as 
we'd known it among other grou 
P. KRONHAUSEN: Two nights а week were 
party nights. You would get 200 or 300 
transient members up there on Saturdays. 


“Really, Mom, there's no need to worry because 
the dorm's gone coed.” 


195 


and a lot of them would spend the eve- 
ning and stay all through. Sunday. You 
could pursue your own interests. You 
could go downstairs for general sex 
and fucking—and some dancing—or you 
could stay upstairs and sit around and 
talk, or play cards. As in any other good 
it was a nice balance between 
al contacts. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: When you got tired of the 
sex scene, you could go into other areas, 
which is not common in most houses, be- 
cause of the space problem. There it was 
ideal. Ihe vibes were really marvelous. 
People's attitudes were basically so posi- 
tive that you could take just about 
anybody up there, even а fairly uptight 
person, and they had to admit there was 
something nice about it. 
DODSON: I was there for a couple of wecks 
and I loved it. The place was physically 
ideal. The first party night there, about 
60 beautiful people arrived and then sat 
around nude, having dinner; someone 
was playing a guitar. I had sex with a 
lot of people that night and it was a lot 
of fun. I had some interesting raps with 
the people who lived there. We disagreed 
about many things, but we allowed for 
our differences. John Williamson, who 
was the founder and director of Sand- 
stone, feels that a sexual community has 
to be based on the successful pair bond; 
that people have to know how to relate 
to one person in a meaningful love rela- 
nship before they can have successful 
group sex. I teel that pair bonding is 
what keeps us from living in а more sex- 
ual community. You find your other half, 
become dependent and walk off into the 
sunset of the nuclear family, 
RIMMER: When I was staying at Sandstone, 
1 would stand on the fireplace hearth, 
акей, and lecture about the sexual expe- 
rience. Some of those sitting around me 
were actually making love while I spoke. 
Frequently, I would look down and no- 
tice a couple of girls sitting there with 
their legs open. It was a very casual, inter- 
esting, nonhung-up feeling. But I got 
o some real hot arguments with the 
people at Sandstone in terms of the 
validity of the sexual experience they 
were having there—people making love 
with а long-term 
expe 


PLAYBOY 


PLAYBOY: Did you sce the casual rcla- 
tionships at Sandstone as a cause of 
problems? 


ve you an example, 
s there, I met a den- 
tist and his wife. She was in a state of 
shock at the kinds of activities she saw 
going on, He had a r 
sexuality, but she simply cou 
to anybody. One weekend in Sandstone 
was probably enough to blow their mar- 
riage apart. The only people who could 
cope with Sandstone were very liberal in 
their thinking to begin with, those who 
were not frightened by the human body 
196 or by body contact. What probably 


brought them there was the conscious 
realization that none of us gets as much 
sex of the kind we want as we'd like, 
We're constantly looking for a kind of 
sexual nirvana. 
VAN DEN HAAG: Which pr 
exist. I have never seen а person w 
ficulties about sex who ov me his di 
ficulties with more sex. If І could tell a 
“See these five gi 
liberate you fiom your hang-ups 
would certainly be cheaper—as well as 
more plea 
back to my office next we 
after t 
Dopso! 
bothered me about Sandstone. А woman 
couldn't bring two guys with her, but a 
ng several women. S 
a weren't welcome. There weren't very 
ny young people, and the interest in 
food was exaggerated. But the fact that 
these people were experimenting with al- 
ternative life styles was beautiful. 
P. KRONHAUSEN: Still, we felt that Sand- 
stone had the potential of being the cen- 
ter of a whole movement toward greater 
fulfillment of our sexual and human ро- 
tential. If you want to help people under- 
stand nudity, or group sex, you need a 
sort of center like Sandstone. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: We thought Sandstone 
was marvelous and we were very sad 
when it closed. It lasted for only about 
five years. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 
P. KRONHAUSEN: One reason was commu- 
nity pressure, which I suspect was pol 
ivated, against the group nudity. 
stone was hauled into court on a 
number of occasions, and the legal fees 
were mounting, though ultimately the 
case was decided in favor of Sandstone. 
But it fell apart, 1 think, not so much be- 
a n fi- 
1 and organizational problems that 
could have been solved. People's person- 
alities got in the way, so that they didn't 
nt to solve them. Actually, some of us 
are presently trying to resurrect Sand- 
stone, and this time, having gone through. 
the process of purge. or self-criticism, as 
the Chinese would say, I think we shall 
succeed. 
GOLDSTEIN: Good luck. But if it's like it was 
before, count me out. To me, Sandstone 
sounds like little more than а sum- 
mer camp populated by retarded pos 
adolescents whose time was running out, 
whose bodies wouldn't come as often as 
they used to. We're all getting older, and 
for many of us, any kind of stimulation 
that works is great. But some of you, my 
fellow panelists, need а commune like 
Sandstone, because you've become de- 
nsitized. IE you take a certain amount of 
tranquilizers, you find that you ultimate- 
ly need more and more to get the same 
effect. That's one problem with the sex 
revolution. As we increase the overload 
of new stimuli, new experiences, new 
delights, the body becomes insatiable, It 


says, “More, more, give me more.” I can 
almost conceive of state-run camps where 
electrodes will be attached to our tits, 
balls, cocks, cunts and assholes, just to 
give us superthrills. How's that for Future 
Shock? There's another possibility, of 
course, and frankly, I don't know which 
is more frightening. Perhaps the sex 
revolution will bring us so much se 
sex will become so available—that people 
will get their kicks out of seeking sexual 
denial. 

DODSON: Al, I have a more benevolent v 
sion. There are about seven of us femi- 
nists living together in a collective. Our 
ages range from 70 to 90. Every night we 
gather in front of our closed-circuit TV to 
watch pornographic video tapes. We light 
the incense, get stoned, put on our ear- 
phones and plug in o ors for sev- 
eral hours of ecstasy i i 
creak, the vibrators hum and wc occa: 
ally tap each other, smiling and nodding 
afte ly good orgasm. 

SIMON: Whatever turns you on, Betty. 
Seriously, all of the sexual life styles we've 
been discussing reflect the attempts of in- 
dividuals to come to grips with their own 
sexual necds in a society that’s still basi- 
cally antisexual. Furthermore, that society 
is organized around very narrow gender 
stereotypes: Boys should be boys and 
girls should be girls, we're taught. As 
these aspects of our society change—it 
they can be changed—some of our pres- 
ent sexual life styles will have little basis 
for existing. What bothers me. given this 
utopian vision, is that sex may become 
less significant and/or less fun. For many 
people, much of its capacity to be power- 
ful still depends upon its tantalizing aura 
of sinfulness, or at least upon the moral 
mbiguitics it invokes. If we lose our 
hang-ups, will sex become dull? I hope 
Im wrong, because even if I'm not 
around, I hate to think the world of the 
future might be one in which we would 
be doing it more but enjoying it less. 
E. KRONHAUSEN: Personally, I think we can 
damn well do without sexual guilt, sin 
and moral ambiguities. 

P. KRONHAUSEN: If anything, our discus- 
sion has shown me again how little prog- 
ress we've made. But then, maybe the 
mere fact th ind of discussion is 
taking place a sign of progress. 
At least, I'd like to think it is. 

RIMMER: My fecling is that we are on the 
threshold of а world where, instead of 
putting one another down as human 
beings, we will recognize our common 
sensuality. In the next quarter of a cen- 
tury, as а nation, we will have restated 
our sexual values. cc how we view sex 
affects our social. political and economic 
structure, 1 devoutly hope that we will 
put the development of an open. free, 
fulfilling and nonexploitive sexual life, 
from the cradle to the grav 

of the list of our nation 


"GIRL 
"AE (continued from page 162) 


Bean—in which she played Paul New- 
man’s mistress and mother of his child. 

“Lye been about two fect off the 
ground ever since the reviews came out,” 
says Victoria herself. 

Victoria Principal is her real name. 
“I's so мару 1 saw no reason to change 
it,” she says. “Actually, my full name is 
Victoria Ree Principal. The R for 
my mother, whose maiden name—hon- 
estly—was Ree Veal. Grandmother aud 
Grandfather Veal had a sense of humor. 
They had to." 

She's only in her 20s, but Victoria 
absorbed more of life than many women 
twice her age. That, she feels, has helped 
her in developing her acting technique. 
“You've got to have felt love and hate 
and pain in order to really portray 
them,” she says. 

Life for Victoria began in Fukuoka, 
Japan, where she was born to Sergeant 
Major Victor Principal, U.S. A. F., and 
his wife, Ree. "As an Air Force brat, I 
lived all over, wherever there were 
bases," she recalls. "We were stationed in 
Georgia, Puerto Rico, Massachusetts, 
Florida, England—you name it.” 

It was while the Principals were living 
in Georgia—at Warner Robbins Air 
Force Base—that Victoria began her 
career. She was taking dancing lessons 


has 


and a director of TV commercials visited 
her clas, looking for a 18-year-old 
cer. Victoria saw her chance, tugged 
his sleeve and begged for an oppor- 
tunity to audition. Result: The director 
rewrote his commercial around Victoria. 
She was five years old. 

Later, in Florida, she began dramatic 
studies, Then, in a temporary lapse [rom 
her lifelong goal of becoming an actress, 
she enrolled in premed courses at Miami- 
Dade Junior College. "I thought I 
wanted to be a chiropractor,” she ex- 
plains. “But then 1 was in a bad ашо 
accident—I'd been stock-car racing since 
I was 15—and had to drop out of school. 
While I was convalescing, I d led chat 
acting really was what I still w 
do." So it was off to New York, where 
she earned her living as a model while 
unsuccessfully beating the pavements in 
search of a Broadway part. She heard of 
a talent hunt in London and flew to 
England; then came Switzerland, France, 
and a spate of private lessons with drama 
mentor Jean Scott, who had been af- 
filiated for 18 years with the Royal 
Academy of Dramatic Arts in London. 

It was during this period that Vic- 
toria's name began to surface in thc 
press—always linked with that of contro- 
versial international financier Bernie 


da 


Cornfeld. I's а relationship she prefers 
not to discuss now. “ 
а very comple: 
“The Bernie Cornfeld everyone knows 
today isn't the Bernie Cornfeld I knew. 
It was something rather special, a very 
good friendship.” And it unquestionably 
furthered her career. “What I got from 
їс," she says, "was that 1 grew up. 
It wasn't the easiest way to grow up, but 
I got a knowledge of the woild and of 
people that has stood me in good stead. 
But Bernie and I had had a parting of 
the ways before I left Europe. I felt it 
was best to leave all that behind.” 
The other reason Victoria left Europe 
is cuit she discovered, after finally 
ng a role in an English film, that 
n American citizen she couldn't get 
British work credentials. "I was disap- 
pointed and depressed," she recalls 
“That was New Year's Eve, 1970, and 
I decided to Пу to Hollywood, where 
invited me to a party. 
1 had planned to return to London 
afterward, but what happened was that 
I never left the party.” She phoned a 
friend to ship her things to California 
and buckled down to making a life for 
herself in the film са 
‘There followed a dreary six months of 
interviews, drama coaching, r 
But she was used to that. "Ov 
Түс done the oddest jobs imay 


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198 


pay for my acting lessons,” she says. "I 
remember one time I got work in a 
jewelry store cleaning diamonds. They 
had a machine that was supposed to do 
through a combination of acids and 
various chemicals. I was afraid 1 would 
get the formula wrong, so 1 would spit 
оп the diamonds and polish them with 
a doth while nobody was looking.” 

At last she won the lead in a Roger 
Corman film to be shot in the Philip- 
pines; but a couple of days before she 
wits to leave for Manila, director John 
Huston asked her to read for the part of 
Раш Newman's Mexican mistress in Roy 
Bean. Huston's decision was instanta- 
neous and agent Michael Greenfield ad- 
vised Victoria to forget Manila, 

A few days after she finished shooting 
Roy Bean, Victoria read Donald Driver's 
sacenplay of The Naked Ape. On her 
way to the studio for a screen test, she 
was sideswiped on the freeway by a bus. 
She made the test, anyway—with 40 
stitches in her head. 

“I've had to give up stock and drag 
racing, but something happens when 
I get on the street. It’s instant disaster. 
I've had two major accidents—neither 
one my fault—during the past year. One 
was with the bus and the other time I 


was hit by a gasoline truck. I wasn’t al- 
lowed to drive a car during the entire 
shooting of The Naked Ape—and what 
І pay for insurance is what most people 
pay for a car," Victoria shrugs. “My 
agent wants me to take up some safer 
sport, like tennis. But J want to get in- 
something I can be passionate 
about. Nothing like cards or pi 
Recently Ive discovered gli 
friends and I go out to the 
Desert.” 

Victoria, who once admitted to a pen- 
chant for getting engaged every two years, 
has had a couple of much-publicized ro- 
mancces recently. First, there was pro-foot- 
baller Lance Rentzel, then Desi Arnaz, 

But for the present, at least, Victori 
is talking only about her спесг as an 
tess. And, perhaps, as a writer. " 
write poetry, от а very personal, fe- 
male standpoint. And I've done pen- 
nk sketches for friends. I've been 
approached to do а book. 1 guess it just 
depends on how things work out 

However they work out, we're sure of 
one thing: Moviegoers will be glad Vic- 
tor ged her mind about becoming 


volved ii 


a ch 


2 chiropractor. 


"TH buy that!” 


THE SARONG COMES FROM $AKS 
5) 
being gaudily ruined or tackily ruined— 
Torremolinos, a former Little Spanish 
Fishing Village, can make onc yearn for 
the sight of Taxco or even of Айа 
City—but a place that is quainily 
is still ruined, 


A DIRECT FLIGHT IS VERY CONVEN- 
TENT, BUT, THEN, THE BUS THE ARMY 
PROVIDED TO TAKE YOU TO BASIC 
TRAINING WAS VERY CONVENIENT, TOO. 


(continued from page 1 


A number of experienced ruination ex- 
perts believe in something called the Law 
of One Block from the Square. It holds 
that a certain type of traveler will uot go 
one block out of his way for anything: 
ig that a bar one block from the 
square even in Palma de Mallorca might 
very well be а place in which a man сап 
D nk 
to 
Minneapolis. A corollary to thc Law of 
One Block from the Square is that people 
who won't wander a block from the 
square—known in the trade as One- 
Blockers—will not bother 10 gu 
that requires an inconvenient change of 
planes. It is an important corollary, s 
there is universal agreement that Опе 
Blockers have the highest spoilatio 
fect of any travelers. I have calculated 
t being visited by three busloa 

One-Blockers is the equivalent in spo 
tion impau of being visited for two thirds 
of a normallength spring vacation by the 
junior class of Michi 


beach resort on the Yucatán Peninsula, 
tend to go to Isla Mujeres instead of C: 
zumcl, since Cozumel has a direct flight 
from Miami (and an airport shop called 
Aeroboutique). 1 have always suspected 
that the main hotel on Isla Mujeres was 
run by the Cornell School of Hotel Ad- 
ministration as a final examination 
student who cannot find 
atrocities in an hour flunks—a ња 
good place for anti-One-Blockers to gath- 
er with compatible people and gloat over 
the fact that суеп а One-Blocker who 
dered into the place by mistake 
would soon le: T than put up with 
the lack ol air conditioning and the 


I the direcillight corollary is true, it 
would follow that "Tahiti was ruined on 
the day Pan Am announced its nonstop 
flight from Los Angeles to P. 
people in Tahiti who dispute that conclu 
ion tend to argue not that Tahit 
ruined but that it was actually ruined by 
the filming of Mutiny on the Bounty—a 
protracted filming that 


may 
tory is the fact that 


тє are people who hold him personally 
responsible for ruining the most impor 
nt French possession in the Pacific. 


IT тоок A LONG TIME FOR THE RUN- 
NING OF THE BULLS AT PAMPLONA TO 
TURN INTO THE RUNNING ог THE 
SOPHOMORES. 


A place with a strong culture is diti- 
cult to ruin, even with a mass invasion of 
Onc-Blockers. There are plenty of tour- 
ists now in Oaxaca, the great. Mexican 
keting city, but the Saturday market is 
still the same kind of Iegitimate extrava- 
ganza it would be if no tourists got south 
of Cuernavaca, and the care taken in 
making the craft articles sold mostly to 
tourists is consistent with the care a mar- 
ket woman takes in stacking her display 
of tomatoes. A traveler who in another 
Mexican town might point out as a sym- 
bol of ruin the peddlers trying to hustle 
souvenirs in outdoor cafés can bargain 
cheerfully with the peddlers of serapes 


with one of those straw 
мей with artificial flowers 
that people hustle to tourists in lesser 
n cities. 

For years after Hemingway wrote The 
Sun Also Rises, the San Fermin festival at 
Pamplona remained the wonder of ruina- 
tion specialists. A shortage of hotels kept 
down the number of package-tour visi 
tors, but the number of neo-Hemingway 
college boys in town would ordinarily 
have heen enough to ruin a festival twice 
the size of San Fermin. Yet it took years 
for their presence to have a significant 
ruination 1. The reason, I tli 
simply that even the college boys who 
considered themselves varsity material as 
drinkers and carousers were so inferior to 
the local Basques when it came to serious 
celebrating that they were hardly noticed 
They were the equivalent of a few neck- 
cis at an orgy. 


ALTHOUGH YOU MAY NEVER HAVE 
ARD OF PEGGY'S COVE, IT 15 RUINED. 
ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE CERTAINLY 
HEARD OF THE EIFFEL TOWER, IT ISN'T. 


Peggy's Cove is one of several dozen 
equally picturesque fishing coves in Nova 
Scotia, but, for reasons known only to the 
Nova Scotia Department of Tourism, it 
is the only one that attracts any tourist: 
When a tourist in Nova Scotia wants to 
sec a peaceful little fishing cove, he drives 
straight to Peggy's Cove and only Peggy's 
Cove—with the result that a list of 
the dozens of peaceful fishing coves in 
Nova Scotia would no longer include 
Peggy's Cove, which is peaceful only on 
п occasional rainy day in February- 
If something built to attract 
tourists, though the Eiffel Tower, for 
instance—it obviously сате be ruined 
by attract 


tourists. Am. 


have been able to pull off some m 
cis of ruination around Bucking! 
the traditionally expressionless 
Queen's Guards finally had to be taken 
side the palace gate when tourists persisted 
in uying to test their ability to remain 
traditionally expressionless while being 
tickled—but a huge crowd of tourists 
annot ruin, say, the ceremonial chang- 
z of the guard: What's the use of hav- 
а ceremony if no one is watching? 
What spoils a place obviously has to do 
with what the place was meant to be in 
the first place. One more garish hot-dog 
stand only enhances Coney Island. The 
strongest argument supporting the theory 
that Tahiti was ruined by a direct Їй 
rather than by Marlon Brando is that the 


whole poi its 
name brings of Gauguin and ‘Tahitian 
maidens and waterfront bars—depended 
on its being out of the way. A neon sign 
does it much less damage than a well 
designed airline advertisement. telling 
people in Glendale and Canoga Pa 
what a convenient place it is for a honey- 
moon, I realize that if ruination depends 
partly on whether or not a place 
true to the v i 

place like Miami Beach is technically 
ed. Appalling, maybe, but not 
|. Liverpool is another city that has 
ed true to itself. 

Also, I must admit, Youngstown. 


199 


PLAYBOY 


200 


THE KING IS DEAD on page 168) 


doubleknit blazer, lightgray, flared 
slacks, a pule-blue, buttondown shirt and 
a wide, bright silk Givenchy tie. 

Geiting through to Wharton on the 
hotel phone took four hours; in despera- 
tion, he decided, What the hell? and used 
me. It couldn't really hurt. 
me finally got him through secre- 
1 excuses to the man himself. 
"Wharton speaking” Deep Southern 
voice: tone of command—almost exactly 
what Baskin had made him expect. 

“My name is Schneider, Mr. Wharton. 
Findlay Baskin cold me you might like to 
play some chess" And then he thought 
again, What the hell? and said, “For 
moncy. 

“You're 
strength?" 

Even in those few words, the tone of ar- 
rogance came through—but the words 
were also those of a man who never let a 
challenge go by. He could have said 
“Screw off" and hung up. So Will tried to 
sound as affable as he could. 

"God, no. My rating is 


mot a player of Baskin's 


teen eighty- 


five. 


How do you know Baskin, then? He's 
an international maste 
Will had thought one move ahead for 
that question. He said, 
Wharton snorted. 
hard up there in the О! 
Will had guessed the 
that detail. 
“Probably. Do you want to play me 
“For how mudh 
He tried not to let. his suckin 
breath be heard on the telephone 
thousand doll: 
‘How do I know you're not а hustler? 
А master in disguise.” 
You can look my r up in 
Chess Life and Review. And 1 have iden- 


must be 
State. Pen." 
n would have 


in of 


tification.” And th 
play, Mr. Wharton? 

"By house rules. Two hours each on 
the dock. And the president of the Ra- 
leigh chess club will referee.” 

They would play then. The reliet— 
with just a tinge of fear—was exquisite. 
"Good. When?" And then, “What are 
"house rules'? 

“We'll play Saturday afternoon at one. 
House rules around here mean things 
like touch. mov 

Will hesitated. “I hate touch move. Mr. 
Wharton. Why don't we let the dock 
punch make the moves fi 

Wharton didn't eve 
move," he said. 

“OK, touch move.” And then, " 
have a Staunton set, don't you 

"The voice was plainly scornful. "Of 
course I have a Staunton set." 

"Good. TH be there Saturday after- 
noon." 

“Flying?” 

Actually, he had planned to 
money by taking а Greyhound bı 
car was in Cleveland, But he said, "Y. 


“Do you wi 


“Touch 


snort. 


ou 


y hi 


“When you arrive, call me. I'll have a 


this time, he found himself a girl. 
dent. At the art museum. But they d 
some kind of foul college student 
and with the dumbness it gave his head 
—his first liquor in six months—and with 
the thought of the up, he 
found making love to her a problem. But 
he managed, rd, naked in the 
hotel bed, he fou nself staring at her 
good, sound, milk-fed body and abruptly 
he thought: What's all this foolishness 


about hustling chess? A girl, a good, 
smooth girl like this, is worth the whole 
goddamn fugue of « game. But the next 
day he caught the plane to Raleigh. 

‘The car was, as he had hallway expect- 
cd, a chauffeured Cadillac, but the chauf- 
feur was white. They did not talk on the 
drive. 

Wharton's house was big but not enor- 
mous. Not particularly Southern, just a 
rich man's house. Maybe $250,000 worth 
of Permastone and garage and redwood 
and deck and fishpond at the side. And a 
putting green; and a swimming pool. 

Wharton met him at the door. He 
looked exactly to be the "fat cat" that 
Baskin had called him. Big, tall, heavy. 
with bushy eyebrows, а potbelly. Ban-Lon 
golf shirt and white slacks. And a tanned. 
enameled wife in a flowered hostess dress. 
‘The wife muttered something about “you 
men and your games” and whisked off in 
a cloud of heavy perfume. Wharton took 
him through several rooms, one of which 
had a fountain with sentimental, fa 
Bernini angels spitting water into a pool. 
And then into what Wharton called his 
game room, with—of course—animal- 
heads and rifles and a trophy case and 
real walnut paneling and real leather 
chairs, as though it had all leaped off the 
front page of a 1953 Abercrombie & Fitch 
catalog. Including the giant chess set that 
stood between two black-leather chairs on 
one of those tables that come from Ca 
сипа or Bombay and have inlays crawling 
up their curved legs and around their 
edges. The set was huge. with rooks the 
shape of elephants bearing round how- 
dahs on their backs, soldier pawns with 
spears, a queen in 2 sari and a king with a 
mustache. It was all ivory and fligreed 
gold—the kind of thing designed to 
arouse profound contempt in any serious 
chess player. The kind а rich palzer— 
wood pusher—would buy while on tour 
in the Orient. Except Wharton was no 
ришет; he was a rated player. 

Wharton's voice boomed at Will. He 
must have been staring at the set for some 
time. “How do you like it?” he said. “It 
cost me over two thousand. Eighteen- 
carat gold and heart ivory. It's one of a 
kind—and there'll never be another one 
like it, because the maker is dead now. 

Will smiled grimly. "I thought you said 
you had a Staunton set?” 

There was just a hint of a sneer in 
Wharton's voice. “ОГ course І have a 
Staunton set, Mr. Schneider. I have three 
of them. But this is the one I feel most at 
home with, and it scems appropriate to a 
five-thousand-dollar game, House rules— 
we use Lhis set.” 

Will almost said that it seemed appro- 
priate for a whorehouse, but he was bc- 
ginning already to feel put down by the 
man: by his size, the edge of irony in his 
voice, that goddamned look of being a 
born winner. For a moment he thought: 


1 should get out of this, I'm going to do 
something dumb and lose my азу. 
Wharton then shouted abruptly, “Ar- 
thur,” and there were footsteps and then 
a mild, insu alesman type, in a 
brown suit, came into the room. 
Mr. дег, Arthur,” Whart 
“Arthur is president of our Rak 
club and will serve us as referee. 
ton walked to a sideboard that was 
looked like elephant leather 
stretched over some kind of bamboo 
were glasses and about eight 
ck Daniel's. "Whiskey, Mr. 
he said. 


Jack Daniel's and could rarely afford it, 
but it would be stupid of i 
chance of Fogging his mi 
he disliked Wharton's arrogance in hav- 
ing nothing else to offer his guests, how- 
ever good the whiskey might be. 

Oh?” Wharton said, and he poured 
himself a generous shot a brandy 
snifter. He did not offer 
thur. Then Wharton w 
board and picked up a white 
pawn and held them behind his back, 
switching them back and forth for a mo- 
ment. “Take your pick, Mr. Schneider." 

Suddenly Will felt his stomach muscles 
tighten. Here we go. "Your left hand,” he 
said. 

Wharton showed the piece. It was 
black. "Tough . . ." he id then he 
replaced the pieces on the bo: 

t down. "OK," Wharton 


id, 


s touch move, two hours on the clock 
Which. 


and fivc thousand dollars a game 
reminds me, Schneider, do you 
money? 1 want to see 

He had thought tl 
but he still resented it. He took the book 


inch-high. bishop. 
for the 
sible tremor 


He cursed himself sil 
ardness and for the 
his hands. 

Wharton flipped through the book cur- 
sorily and then leaned over the board and 
handed it b ng; his hand 
was as steady as а rock. 
“Do you want to start my clock now 

Will had hardly noticed the clock be- 
fore, so overwhelming were the chess- 
pieces, but he looked 
oddly effete little thing, in contr 
the phony machismo of the room: porce- 
th pink cherubs and gold buttons 
to push. He felt rather fond of it. He 
pushed the buuon on his side. Click. 
"There was a faint ticking. 

Wh: oved pawn to queen four. 


on 
g the queen's gambit, almost for 
hen he pressed the button that 


sure. 
stopped his side of the clock and started. 
Will's. 

"Pawn to qucen four, 
an ovcrloud voice. 


Arthur said in 


My God! Will thought. Must we have 
this nonsense, too? But he said nothing 
and reached out gingerly—n 
touch-move aspect of the thing, 
these enormous and confusing pi 
and picked up his queen's pawn and 
set it on the fourth rank. The piece was as 
heavy as a billiard ball, but he found the 
ght satislying. 

“Pawn to queen four,” Arthur said. 

Will pushed the burton on the clock 
and began thinking, trying to see through 
all those filigree-and-ivory ornaments and 
imagine the clean pattern of a classic 
board. 

It turned out to be the queen's gam! 
all right, and Will accepted it, taking the 
big, weighty white pawn and setting it on. 
the side of the table. They played the 
opening routinely, by the book, for about 
45 minutes, very carefully, setting up 
patterns and positions, neither of them 
trying anyth 


unorthodox. 
rton finished his snifter of 


whiskey and, coolly ignoring the fact 
that his own clock was running, got up 
from the table, went to the sideboard, 
picked up the bottle and said, "Still 
afraid to drink, Mr. Sdincide 
It was a cheap ploy, but he could not 
help himself. “Pour me a double, Mr. 
Wharton.” He said it aloud, and thought 
Yes, pour the goddamn fool a double. 
Wharton brought him the drink, sat 
down, abruptly picked up his white 
bishop and took Will's bishop's pawn 


Arthur said. 
red at it, It had come asa total 
shock. It did not look like an ordinary 
bishop sacrifice; he could nor sce the 
follow-up. He stared at it for five min- 
utes, while his clock ticked and he held 
his snifter of whiskey, untasted, in hi 
hand. And then he saw it. If he too 
the bishop, there would be the rou 
check by Wharton's queen. Nothing to 
worry about there. But he would ha 


“So... if I'm the star, how come he's on top?" 


201 


10 intcrpose a knight and then Wharton 
could move—and this was it—his god- 
damned rook that looked likean clephant. 
somehow had been taking it for a 
ht, probably because it was an ani- 
mal figure, because in a serious chess set 
the only animal figure on a chessboard is 
ht. When Wharton moved his rook 
quares, Will would be under 
direct threat of checkmate unless he be- 
gan sacrificing pieces like crazy. And even 
if Wharton didn't get the mate, after it 
was over he would have such an advan- 
tage in material that he could musde 
Will out for the rest of the game. 

But, astonishingly, maybe because of 
the anger he felt at these idiotic, ostenta- 
tious pieces, he did not panic. Instead, he 
sipped his drink and then looked at his 
dock. He had an hour and a half. He 
would find some way out; the right move 
had to be there. 

And he found it. It took him 25 min- 
utes, while Wharton did sev cheap. 
tricks, drumming his fingers on the table, 
clearing his throat, getting another drink, 
offering him one and dinking glasses. 
But he found it: First, of course, he would. 
not take the bishop. That would give him 
a move to put his king's knight in the 
space the bishop lad vacated, and avoid 
the check for two moves. Then, if 
Wharton began to try his combination, 
Will would be able to threaten a 
queen fork with the knight. Wharton 
would have to drop the attack and start 
scrambling. 

Before reaching for the king's knight, 
he sipped the drink again, savoring the 
idea of the move more than the whiskey 
itself His hand was trembling only 
slightly. 

Then he reached forward over several 
tall pieces to move the knight and his fin- 
ger brushed against the big, ungainly 
black queen with her absurd Indian sari. 
‘The piece trembled heavily on the board. 
Wharton's voice came instantaneously, as 
if the finger had activated an alarm, 
“Touch move.” 

Will stared at the referee. “Sorry, Mr. 
Schneider. You must move the queen.” 

Jesus Christ, he thought, Jesus Christ. 

It took him ten minutes to find a move 
for his queen that wasn't a total disaster. 
But Will’s game was going to be lost in 
about four moves if Wharton followed 
the checkmate threat ou looked at 
. Wharton was 

smiling, pleased completely with himself 
to be about to take a game on a techni- 
cality even after a з move of his own. 
For a moment Will wanted to scream, 
and then he thought, Goddamn it, Schnei- 
der, be like Baskin. Be cool. 

Then, he had an idea, During the past 
ten minutes, Wharton had been moving 
around restlessly, making himself a drink 
or finding a cigar—but always keeping an 

202 eye out for Will's queen move. Now, when 


PLAYBOY 


he came back to the table, Will was 
squinting intently at Wharton's bishop, a 
strange Hindu figure of some sort. 
‘What are you locking at?" Wharton 
demanded, 

“Oh, nothing,” Will said. Then he 
moved his queen as calmly as he could, 
Arthur announced the move, and then 
Will said, “1 didn’t care much for these 
picces at first, but now I rather admire 
them. Wonderful workmanship. But it’s 
a shame about your bishop. I suppose it 
got cracked in shipping? 

“What crack?" Wharton roared. He 
reached for the bishop, seized it, stopped 
cold with realization and remained bent 
over the table, Arthur, from his chair, 
made a couple of gasping sounds. 

Will said gently, “Touch move." 

He had embezded once, from а 
crooked and mea 
he had never pl 
game before in his life. And the feeling it 
gave him, looking at Wharton trapped, 
was simple elation. Because there was no 
place the son of a bitch could put that 
bishop where it would not both get in the 
way of his attack and give Will an extra 
mov 

Wharton looked at Arthur, but there 
was nothing for Arthur to say. His hand 
was still on the piece. Then he looked at 
Will and said, "You goddamned cheap 
crook,” and moved the bishop. 

jill made the knight move and then 
aslow trading game until he had a 
ще at the end game and had 
the tempo, too, to be able to be the first 
to queen a pawn and suddenly Wharton 
reached his big meaty hand out and laid 
his hing on its side and said, “I resign. 

Will stood up and stretched. He felt 
wonderful. Still nervous, but wonderful. 
Enjoying, for once, the nervousness 
self. Te might have been better to have 
won the game on the pure, fuguelike 
strategy of chess instead of by a trick. But 
Wharton had asked for that kind of trick- 
ery, and Will had beat him at that game, 
too. 

Then Wharton said, “Anoth 
Mr. Schneider? For ten thousand? 

That caught him off guard, like an 
unexpected gambit. 

“I hadn't planned. , . ." 

"Come on, Mr. Schneider," Wharton 
said. "You're not going to walk out alter 
winning by a tick.” 

And he thought, Damn it, 7 am better 
than he is; 1 think I am. And with twenty 
thousand dollars. . . . 

"OK," he said. Then he smile 
I play white this time." 

Wharton smiled back, "But I play like 
Bogolyubov.” 

So he knew that one, too. So what? But 
it bothered him. 

Will began setting up his white pieces, 
but Wharton said, as if he were talking 
to a maid, “Arthur, sct mine up,” and 


game, 


walked over toward the trophy case on 
the wall. "Perhaps I shouldn't have called 
you a crook a minute ago, Mr. Schneider. 
But the term does fit ап emberzler, 
doesn't it?" 

Will blinked at him. 

"Didn't you think I'd have you checked 
out?” Wharton said. "I had my lawyer call 
the warden at the penitentiary. The one 
where I had Baskin put awa 

“Where you had him put a 

Wharton was unlocking the door of the 
trophy case. “The boy was a paid prosti- 
tute. I helped the police set the whole 
thing up, including the wi 

Will stared at him. “But why: 

Wharton smiled. “I despise faggots. 
And Baskin beat me out of some moncy 
at chess once.” He took a big trophy out 
of the cabinet; it looked like someth: 
one got for hunting or for golf, “I imag- 
ine that’s why Baskin put you up to all 
these shenanigans.” Then he went over 
and set the trophy on the middle of the 
table, as though it were a King Kong of a 
сһеѕѕріссе. “But Baskin has bccn out of 
ion for three years. So there are a 
few things cven he doesn't know. Like 
this, for instance.” He pushed the trophy 


а large horse's head—a knight from a 
Staunton set. And the brass plate below 
, CHICAGO OPEN, NOVEMBER 1972. FIKST 
J. WHARTON. 

Will said nothing, but his guts lad 
tightened as though Wharton's hammy 
fists had taken his duodenum and 
squeezed it physically. 
ve been studying under Zoravsky for 
two years,” Wharton said. “Every now 
and then I beat him. Of course, I pay him 
well." 

Jesus Christ, Will thought, Zoravsky is 
at least 500 points better than Baskin. My 
God, he beat Fischer once, in Vienna. But 
then he thought, What the hell, almost 
feeling, astonishingly, good about it. So 
it'll be onc goddamned tough chess game. 
And he said, “Let's play chess, Mr. 
Wharton.” 

Arthur had finished setting up the 
black pieces and had reset the clock faces 
for two hours each. 

Will opened with 
fou 

Wharton started with a classic Sicilian 
defense, but then after a few pawn 
changes in the center, he made two un- 
expected moves with his queen's knight 
and, abruptly, Will found himself a pawn 
down and with his major pieces constrict- 
ed. He had never seen that one before 
and it frightened him. 10 was brilliant, 
He remembered what Baskin had said 
about Wharton’s intelligence. And when 
he reached to m: his next move, he 
abruptly caught himself. He had almost 
touched that goddamn rook-elephant 
again, thinking it was a knight. It would 


pawn to king 


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WHAT CAN L Do FoR. You, 1 i 
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203 


PLAYBOY 


204 | 


have been disaster. And he shouldn't 
have Jet Wharton con him into drinking 
whiskey. Not after those dry six months 
in prison. And, of course, Wharton, know- 
g about his prison term, had planned to 
get him high. The Jack Daniel's gambit. 

Suddenly he folded his bands in his 
lap, as if not to contaminate them with 
these pseudo Oriental-baroque chessmen. 
But Wharton hasn't won this chess game. 
Then, his clock ticking, he looked at 
Wharton and said, evenly, “Do your . . . 
house rules allow the referee to move my 
pieces for me: 

Wharton stared at him. “What kind of 
chickenshit . . . 2" 

“Do they?” Will looked at the big 
man steadily. Go ahead, you bastard, he 
thought. Refuse. 

"You're scared of touching the wrong 
piece?" But Wharton's voice was 
unconvinced, 

Will smiled. “Js that the kind of advan- 
tage you want, Mr. Wharton 

Wharton reddened slightly. Then he 
looked at Arthur. 

“Ws all quite legal, Mr, Wharton,” Ar- 
thur said, lamely, 

“1 know it's legal" Wharton said, “and 
I know it's chickenshit. And I know I'll 
beat his cheap ass, even if he brings in 
Raquel goddamn Welch to move his 
pieces for him.” 

“Thank you,” Will said. Then he stood 
up, took hold of his big leather chair and 
began turning it around. 

What in God's good goddamn hell are 
you doing?" Wharton said. 

Will had the chair turned facing com- 
pletely away from the board. “I'm turning 
my back on you, Mr. Wharton. And on 
your chess set." Then he thought for a 
moment. composing himself, and said, 
“Knight to queen's bishop five.” 

He hardly heard Arthur making the 
move for him, or the click of the punched 
clock. For the pure Staunton set of the 
brain, that beautiful abstraction as clea 
as the axioms of Euclid, had leaped be- 
in all its grace and sharpness. 
was where the game was at. Not 
in this cheap and tawdry business of 
tricks and oneupmanship and money 
and bluster. That was the whole beauty 
of chess: a lovely abstraction. A game. A 
1, exquisite game. 

Wharton played dazzlingly. He whit- 
ied Will down by а second pawn—his 
kings pawn, a bad one to lose, And he 
had got an open rook file. But Will kept 
his mind there in that interior space and 
ited—watched it, the diagonals and 
lines, and patterns and configurations— 
and waited. 

He managed, by playing with great 
care, to free up his pieces. But it cost him 
another pawn. And Wharton—whom he 
now did not even picture in his mind— 
d his king safely castled. 


But something was beginning to show 
finally in the pauern. Will was getting 
only the edges of it into his perception, 
because it was so overwhelmingly hard to 
see that far ahead. But it was there. He 
could feel the potential of іє. It would 
have to start with opening the bishop's 
file, and then maybe a check. But a check 
with what? The queen? But that would 
cost the queen, and you can't afford that. 
He shook his head, trying to penetrate it. 
First I tade knights, and that puts his 
pawn over on the other file. Then 1 
threaten his rook with my queen... . He 
shook his head again and tried it the 
other way. J don’t trade knights, I bring 
out the queen first, and he'll threaten it 
with {һе rook, because hell be going for 
the position, and there are at least seven 
alternatives from there, and I have to 
know where each one leads. - . . 

And then Arthu id, “You have ten 
more minutes on your clock, Mr. Schnei- 
der. Mr. Wharton has fifty-three.” And 
his whole body seemed to shake in one 
tremor, as if the ground had quaked. Had 
it been that long? Then his mind pushed 
itself up and over the hump and it was 
like the Red Sea opening at his feet and 
he saw the whole thing. As Isaac Newton 
must have seen it on that day he wept 
when he saw how things really worked. 
You check with the knight, his mind told 
him, and he must take with the pawn. 
And then you bring out the queen And 
if he doesn’t interpose the rook, he loses 
а piece. And that’s as far as he'll see it. 
He could almost taste it. 

"Knight to king's bishop six, check," he 
said, quietly. He hardly heard Arthur re- 
peat 

Wharton took the knight with the 
pawn. He was forced to. 

Then Will said, “Queen to bishop 
three." And then he waited. He knew it 
would be a long wait, while Wharton 
studied, and it was. But it was Wharton's 
clock that was ticking now—not his. Once 
he became frightened that Wharton 
would sce what was coming, but he 
stopped his mind from that thought. 
Fischer maybe would see it, or Petrosian. 
He stared at the far wall, at the head of 
a hapless lion, stuffed, mounted, wasted. 

Then Wharton moved and when Ar- 
thur called out his own move, Will knew 
that he had won the game. “Queen takes 
pawn, check,” he said. He heard Wharton 
draw in his breath. 

"The wait was almost intolerable. For а 
moment Will felt, with ic, he had 
gone insane, like Paul Morphy—that 
mad New Orleans chess genius—and it 
was only his delusion that this combina- 
tion of moves would work. 

But then he heard the pieces move and 
Arthur's voice said, "Rook takes queen. 

Instantly, Will said, “Rook to rook 
eight, check. 


Wharton, just as quickly, said, “It’s not 
going to work, Schneider. You've lost 
your queen for nothing,” and the cold, 
sharp ring in his voice, an edge in it chat 


Will had not heard before, abruptly 


brought back Baskin’s words about the 
man—about his “frightening intellect.” 

But his own mind told him, It’s a won 
game, Schneider. It's а won game. So he 
said, aloud, "Mr. Wharton, I'll bet you 
two thousand dollars against your chess 
set that it works." 

And Wharton's voice shot back, with a 
contempt that was palpable in the air of 
the room, “It's a bet, Schneider. It won't 
work.” 

His heart was trembling, but there was 
relief in hearing the other man’s words— 
because Will knew what that move was 
going to be. 

Not waiting for Arthur to announce it 
Wharton said, “Rook to bishop one. 
Loudly. And then, “I interposed, you 
dumb motherfucker. 

And then Will's words came out steady 
and soft. “Bishop to knight three, check,” 
and he stood up and turned around and 
looked straight into Wharton’s face. 

Wharton's face, red now with whiskey 
and emotion, was fierce and confident. 
For about five seconds. And then it crum- 
bled. Because, finally, he saw what was 
coming. There was only one legal move 
and Wharton, not resigning, made it. 
King to rook one. And for a moment, 
weariness hit Will's entire body. He 
pressed his right hand to his forehead. 
Then he said, “Rook takes rook 
looked at Wharton, dizzily, st 
“Checkmate.” 

Wharton said nothing. He merely sat 
there, staring at the board, his red, fleshy 
face sagping. Finally he said, "Son of a 
bitch.” "The tone of his voice was flat, 
cold. hardly human. "Son of a bitch.” 

Somcthing about that tonc took some 
of the weariness out of Will. He looked 
toward a window and was surprised to scc 
that it had grown dark outdoors. Then he 
looked back at the chessboard, at those 
ivory pieces that he hated. His pieces 
now. Then he reached over and picked 
up the white king and held it in his two 
fists, while Wharton stared at him, und, 
twisting with all his strength, he cracked 
the ivory and filigreed gold into frag 
ments. Then he put the fragments into 
his coat pocket and said, “You can keep 
the rest of the set, Mr. Wharton. And 
after you pay me the money, you can have 
your man take me back to the airport." 

Wharton looked at the chessboard, 
with its white king gone, as if in pro- 
found disbelief. His face was blank. 

Then he reached into the drawer, took 
out the checkbook and a pen and began 


to write. 


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CHICAGO AND PPOITIDITIGN 


territory. The gangs followed the Torrio 
dictum of cooperation, Striking back, they 
Killed at least eight of the O'Donnell 
troops and Spike himself barely escaped a 
couple of times. In a few months, he had 
had enough. “I've been shot at and missed 
so often I've a notion to hire out as a pro- 
target,” he sighed and departed 


PLAYBOY 


the expense, had been only an annoy- 
ance. Another problem was not so casy. 
Thompson's term was over and Chicago 
was about to get а new mayor, a reform 
Democrat this time, named William E. 
Dever. He was going to see to it that 
the laws were obeyed and he told his 
new police chief, Morgan A. Collins, 
“L will break every police official in 
whose district I hear of a drop of liquor 
being sold.” 

At first, Torrio refused to believe it; 
he'd heard the same thing too often to be 
taken in, But he wanted t0 n 
he offered Collins a $100,000 
payoff to forget Dever's orders. Collins, 
instead, raided and padlocked the Four 
Deuces. Torrio upped the offer to $1000 
a day just to overlook the movement of 
250 barrels of beer a day; Collins an- 
swered by raiding breweries, speak-easies, 
brothels and gambling dens around the 
city and locking up over 100 gangsters (in 
the process. old Mont Tennes. ruler of 
the race wire and the city's handbooks, 
decided it was time to retire and turn the 
business over to younger hands). 

This hurt, but nor all that much, for 
new speaks, new brothels, new gambling 
houses, new breweries and distilleries 
sprang up as fast as the old ones were 
closed. But none of this made Torrio 
happy, for it was expensive. So he decided 
to look for a haven, a place from which 
his empire could be run with impunity, 
with no worry about official harassment. 
His eyes turned to the suburban town of 
Cicero, just west of the Chicago city lim- 
its. It would be the first—but пог the 
Tast—American community to fall com- 
pletely under the control and be at 
the total mercy of the underworld, 

A lower-middle-class suburb of 60,000, 
mainly first- and secondgencration Bo- 
hemians who worked in the factories of 
southwest Chicago, Cicero was, within its 
own terms, a relatively free and easy 
town. Its president, as the mayor was 
called, was an amiable lightweight named 
Joseph Z. Klenha; he did nothing with- 
out first checking with the Klondike 
O'Donnell gang. political boss Eddie 
Vogel and onetime prize fighter turn.d 
saloonkeeper, Eddie "Тапа, who ran Cic- 
cro. The people liked to gamble on oc- 
casion, so slot machines, but only slot 
machines, abounded, the operators shar- 
ing the take with Vogel. The people liked 
to have a beer or two after the day's hard 

206 work and, Prohibition or not, they were 


(continued from page 170) 


not to be denied that pleasure, So there 
were plenty of illegal saloons operating 
out in the open. As for other vices, there 
were none. 

Tn October of 1923, Torrio changed all 
that. Leasing a house on Roosevelt Road, 
he turned it into a brothel and installed 
a score of his girls. Cicero citizens were 
irate and the police quickly raided the 
house, dosed it down and locked up the 
rls. Torrio said nothing. only opened a 
second house, with the same result. 
Again, Torrio did not complain and 
Cicero officials were certain they had 
turned back the invasion. It was a mistake 
they would regret, for they had done just 
friend 
Peter 


of deputies moved in and impounded 
every slot machine in Cicero. 

There was no misreading the message, 
and emissaries went to Toi to treat for 
peace. If he would get the sheriff to re- 
turn the slots, they would open up Cicero 
to him. Torrio agreed not to bring in his 
whores; all he wanted was the franchise 
to sell all the beer in Cicero except for 
those small areas ceded to Klondike 
O'Donnell, to run all the gambling—and 
he would bring in a plethora of games in 
addition to the one-armed bandits—and 
the right to sct up his headquarters in 
the town. 

The conquest and capitulation of Cic- 
ero had been quick and easy, with no 
violence or bloodshed, just as Torrio 
wanted it. He decided that now he could 
aflord to take a vacation. With his 
mother, his wife, Anna, and more than 
$1,000,000 їп cash and securities to de- 
posit in foreign accounts against future 
need, he sailed for Italy, returned to his 
irthplace, where he was greeted as a 
conquering hero, someone the youth of 
the town should emulate, for he had left 
poor, returned rich and was even build- 
ing his mother a luxurious villa for her 
last years. 

Behind, he left his expanding empire 
and a man to oversee it, a man sometimes 
known as Al Brown but becoming even 
more notorious under his real name, Al- 
phonse Capone. Born in Brooklyn in 
1899, six years after his family's arrival 
‘om the slums of Naples, and one of nine 
children, Capone made his mark on 
the streets early, with fists, club and gun, 
He had worked as a bouncer for Yale at 
the Harvard Inn and there one night had 
earned the nickname Scarface Al: A 
punk named Frank Galluccio took of 
fense at some slighting remarks Capone 
made about his sister, whipped out a 
pocketknife and slashed Capone across 
the face; in an uncharacteristic gesture, 
Capone not only forgave Galluccio but 
some years later took him on as a $100-a- 
week bodyguard. Late in 1919, seeking 
refuge from a possible murder indict 


ment, Capone had fled to Chicago and 
gone to work for Torrio as a bouncer in 
the Four Deuces. But Capone was am- 
bitious. He was soon chief aide to Torrio. 

Capone was the antithesis of the soft- 
spoken Torrio. Though his business wa 
e and crime, Torrio did not smoke, 
К, gamble or womanize—he would 
remain a faithful and adoring husband 
until his death; he rarely swore and 
would not tolerate the use of obscenities 
in his presence; he spent his nights quiet- 
ly at home with Anna, except on those 
rare occasions when he took her to a play 
or a concert, And he constantly preached 
against the evils of indiscriminate vio- 
lence, There were, he said, times when 
force was inescapable, but such times 
were rare and when they did arise, only 
the minimal amount of force should be 
used (though sometimes, the minimal 
amount meant a killing). Violence, Tor- 
io constantly preached, only led to more 


n 
violence and trouble for everyone; per 
suasion, bribes, deals and compromise 
when necessary meant peace and pros- 
perity for all. 

Capone, on tlie other hand, was a gross 
man with gargantuan appetites for food, 
liquor, gambling and women, His bets on 
horses, dice, roulette and other games of 
chance were rarely less than $1000 and 
sometimes as much as $100,000. And he 
was unlucky—he would later estimate 
that he had dropped more than 
510.000.000 on the horses alone durii 
5 years in Chicago. (One of 
with a whore in his charge left 
syphilis, which went untreated, for Са- 
pone had a deathly fear of doctors and 
needles. He eventually died [rom paresis.) 
Capone believed in the maximum use of 
force and violence to gain his ends, 

At first, in his initial experience as 
boss, Capone tricd to follow the Torrio 
maxims. With Mayor Dever continuing 
to put the pressure on in Chicago, Ca 
pone moved the organization's headquar- 
ters to the Hawthorne Inn in Cicero, 
armor-platin 1 keeping it constan: 
ly guarded. He repelled some attempted 
incursions by other gangs—with guns, of 
course, but not with undue force—and he 
added to the growing strength of the op- 
eration, bringing in his brothers Ralph 
nd Frank, his cou ley and Rocco 
Fischeui, Frank “The Enforcer” Nitti 
and others. 

And then events were set in motion 
that would mark the Chicago scene from 
that day on, would turn the city and its 


environs into a bloody battlefield claim. 


ing, belore the Twenties were over, 1000 
lives and causing even Charlie "Lucky" 
Luciano to exclaim after a visit, “A real 
goddamn crazy place. Nobody's safe in 
the streets. 

Torrio returned from Italy in the 
spring of 1994, just as Cicero was about to. 
hold a municipal election. Fearing that 

itizens, resentful of the gangster 
ion and influenced by the Dever 


Willeveryone 
who thinks 
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costs too much 
please stand up? 


America needs action on No-Fault 
Now's your chance to be heard. State legislatures 
are convening and they're the ones who decide the 
kind of auto insurance you live with. Many have 
already scheduled discussions of No-Fault laws. 


What's No-Fault? Simple. Accident settlements 
are based on loss instead of Мате. Your insurance 
company pays your actual medical costs, lost 
wages, other economic loss. The other driver's 
company pays his. It’s fast and fair. Lawsuits to 
decide fault are eliminated. So money is saved. 


It works, too. For example, a No-Fault law be- 
came effective in Massachusetts in 1971. The first 
year alone saved car owners more than $61,000,000 
on the cost of their auto insurance. 


You'd expect an idea this good would spread fast, 

but only a few states have done anything about 

it. Where the law is strong and eliminates most 

lawsuits, insurance costs have come down. When 

the law doesn’t reduce lawsuits, little is saved. 
Most states have not acted at all. 


"mal 


LIFE & CASUALTY 


So now's the time to ask for action in your state. 
You can urge a strong law that reduces insurance 
costs and returns more of your premium dollar in 
benefits to you. And when that kind of law is pro- 
posed, you'll find ZEtna supporting it every way 
we can. 


You get action 
with Ætna 


reform movement in Chicago. might throw 
out the incumbents in favor of Demo- 
«айс reformers, Vogel and Klenha went 
to Torrio with a new proposition. If he 
would ensure a victory for the Klenha 
te, the town would be turned over to 
him. Any operation he wanted, except 
prostitution, would be granted absolute 
immunity from any interference, from 


PLAYBOY 


the law or anyone else. What Torrio un- 
derstood, ently the town fa- 
thers as that violence would be 


necessary to fulfill Torrio's side of the 


And Capone accomplished it with a 
vengeance. Democratic candidates were 
beaten and threatened; Democratic voters 


were intimidated at the polls by g- 
sters holding drawn revolvers; ballots 


were seized and checked before the voter 
was permitted to drop them into the box. 
During Election Days carly hour, at 
least four persons were killed. The re- 
formers sent out a plea [or help and 
squads of Chicago cops poured in. АШ 
day, they engaged in running battles with 
Capone mobsters. At dusk, a squad car 
pulled up before a polling place at 22nd 
rect and Cicero Avenue. Standing out- 
side with drawn guns were Al and Frank 


pone fell to the pavement, de: 
was captured—and quickly released. Ca- 
pane fled down the street, ran into anoth- 
er squad of Chicago cops, held them off 
with revolvers in both hands until dark- 
ness came and he could escape. No 
charges were ever filed against him. But 
Al could take comfort in knowing that 
brother Frank had not died in vain, The 
Klenha ticket won with an overwhelming 
majority and Cicero, for a time, was the 
ital of the underworld, So completely 
dominated that later, in daylight 
and with a crowd watching, Capone 
would kick Klenha down the city-hall 
steps because the town president had dis- 
pleased him. 
Only one lonely voice continued to 
speak in opposition in Cicero, that of 
Eddie Tand, whose hatred of the invad- 
ers was boundless, who had refused to go 
along with the compact, who refused to 
buy his beer [rom Torrio or his allies, 
red their orders 10 get ош of 
town. But he did not speak for lon 
Myles O'Donnell walked into his saloon 
and shot him dead. Myles was prosecuted. 
for the murder—without success. 

The guns and the blood in Cicero were 
only a prelude. The underworld peace 
that Torrio hid labored for and achieved. 
came to an end. The O'Banions and the 
Gennas were snarling and shooting. The 
Gennas had been flooding O'Banion's 
North Side territory with the cheap rot- 
gut and underselling O'Banion. Even 
"Torrio's remonstrances were unavailing. 
And then Angelo Genna lost $30,000 at a 

208 rouleue table in the Sh 10 owned 


by Torrio and into which O'Banion had 
been cut for a small interest. Genna 
welshed on the debt. O'Banion demand- 
ed payment. Torrio told him to forget it 
Instead, the volatile O'Ba called 
Genna and demanded that he pay up in 
week. When Hymie Weiss and others 
told O'Banion to cool off, that he was 
only asking for trouble, O'Banion re- 
plied, “To hell with them Si ns. 
So the O'Banion mob and the Gennas 
were on the verge of war. What was worse 
for the Trishman was that he had incurred 
Torrio’s displeasure as well, The two had 
been partners in the Sieben Brewery for 
some time, and in May of 1924, O'Banion 
sent word to Torrio that he was going to 
quit the rackets and retire to a ranch in 
Colorado, He was, he explained, simply 
afraid that he had pushed the Terrible 
Gennas too far and they'd get him if he 
didn't get out. Would Ton 
to buy O'Banion's interest. 
$250,000? Torrio agreed and paid the 
money. To show how appreciative he was, 
O'Banion said, he'd help Torrio make 
one final shipment from the brewery. 
"That shipment was to be made on May 
19. Torrio, O'Banion, Weiss and several 
others (Capone was in ng; he had 
killed a man a few days earlier and was 
ting until the witnesses were persuad- 
€d to change their stories) were at Sieben 
ching 13 trucks being loaded under 
the supervision of two local. precinct cops. 
Suddenly, the place was a hive of other 
cops, under the personal leadership of 
Chief Collins. The chief personally 
ripped the badges off the precinct cops 
and then hauled Torrio, O'Banion, Weiss 
and the others not before a city judge who 
would quickly spring them but before a 
Federal commissioner. For O'Banion, this 
was a first arrest for bootlegging and, ac- 
cording to prevailing practice, he would 
get off with a fine. But Torrio had been 
picked up for bootlegging some time be- 
fore and had paid a fine then. Аза second 
offender, he could expect a jail term. 
Then, from a friendly cop, Torrio 
learned. that. O'Ran| 1 tipped off 
Collins’ office, seuing up the raid and 
thereby not only reserving a jail cell lor 
Torrio but dipping him for $250,000 plus 
what had been seized at Siebei nd the 
word got back to Torrio that O'Banion 
was telling friends, “I guess I rubbed that 
sc in the mud all right. 
just too much. O'Banion had to 
be chastised and there was only one fit- 
ting chastisement for such a double cross. 
Torrio made common cause with thc 
Gennas. All that held them back was the 
cautious voice of respected. Mike Merlo, 
who headed the Chicago branch of the 
Unione Siciliana; he, even more than 
Torrio, deplored violence and its eltect 
on his lerworld friends. But Merlo 
dying of cancer and his death would 
free Torrio and the Gennas. It would 
also provide the excuse for Torrio to 


once again call upon Frankie Yale, the 
Unione's national president. 

Merlo died on November 8. 1924 
(Angelo Genna was named to succeed 
him). The funeral was set for the tenth. 
Yale arrived in town for the ceremonies. 
And the orders for floral tributes poured 
into the O'Banion shop. Torrio bought а 
10,000 mixed bouquet; Capone kicked 
п 58000 for red roses; the Unione itself 
anted up for a huge wax-and flower 
sculpture of Merlo to be carried in а 
limousine behind the hearse. The night 
before the funcral, Angelo Genna called 
to order another massive and expensive 
tribute and told O'Banion he would send 
around a couple of guys to pick it up. 

At noon on November tenth, O'Ban- 
ion was in the shop, waiting. In м: 
John Scalise and Alba two 
gal immigrants from Sicily wanted for 
murder there and now working for the 
Gennas and Yale. “Hello, boys," O'Ban- 
jon greeted them. “You want Merlo's 
flowers?” 

“Yes,” one of the men replied. Then, 
inexplicably, O'Banion held out his 
hand; it was the first time anyone could 
remember his offering to shake hands: it 
would bc the last. The hand was grasped. 
O'Banion was pulled forward, off bal- 
nice. Before he could recover, guns were 
drawn and he was shot six 
The farewell to O'R: 


1 Judge John H. Lyle, one of th 
few courageous and honest judges а 
time. The casket, rushed 


city’s 
the 
rom Philadel- 


phia, was of silver and bronze and cost 
$10,000; 26 cars and trucks were needed 
to carry the foral deco cluding 
garish ones sent by Torrio, Capone and 
the Gennas; there were three bands and 
a police escort; more than 10,000 people 
marched in the funeral train and 5000 
more waited at the cemetery; there were 
judges, aldermen and assorted other ри 
lic officials, Hearing of it all, Yale would 
say to friends, “Boys, if they ever get me, 

е me a sendoff that good," Three 
years later, they did. 

But O'Banion's friend and successor as 
gang leader, Hymie Weiss, was deter- 
mined that the fallen leader would be 
avenged, and he was certain he knew 
upon whom to wreak that vengeance— 
Torrio, Capone and the Gennas. Not will 

ag to stand up as a target, Torrio took 
oll for a vacation—unknown to him, he 
was trailed everywhere by Weiss gunmen, 
who never got the opportunity to get off 
a shot. In Chicago, the war was under 
way. An attempt was made to kill Capone 

he drove through the city; nd 
Al promptly ordered an plated, 

ulletproof car from General Motors, 
Other members of the gang, however, fell 
belore Weiss's bullets. 

By mid-January of 1925, Torrio was 
back, and he knew exactly where he could 
find safety. The Federal bootlegging 


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“Be carejul of the couch. If you press 
down the arm and pull forward while lifting 


the seat, 


growing from the Sieben raid. 
ly before the court. Torrio 
th a grin, 


il and fined $2500. He was given, as 
а prominent businessman, five days to 
clean up his а 

On 
his wile. At dusk, they returned to their 
Clyde Avenue apartment. Ann started for 
the apartmenthouse door. Johnny hung 
buck to remove some packages from the 
car. A black Cadillac stopped across the 
street. Inside were four n 
tols 


corge 
"Bugs" n, апа sometime 
clown prince of the O'Banion mob) 
They dashed across the surect and began 
firing at Torrio and his chauffeur. The 
chauffeur was hit in the leg. Torrio was 
t four times—one bullet shattered his 
w, the others struck his right arm, chest 
and groin, Simultaneously, the two men 


in the car began firing across the street, 


lacing the Torrio limousine with bullets 
and shotgun pellets. One of the killers 
bent over to put a bullet in Torrio's head. 
His gun misfired and before he could fire 
again, a warning blast of the Cadillac's 
horn sent him hurrying 

Within minutes, racked with pain, 
Torrio was in an ambulance on his way 
to the hospital. In the hospital, guarded 
by the best troops the shaken Capone 
could round up, Torrio proved to be not 
as seriously wounded as first thought, 
though he would bear scars on his jaw for 
the rest of his life and would never be 
without а scarf to hide them. He mended 
quickly. But when questioned about the 
assailants, he would say only, 
know all four men, but I'll never tell 
their names.” 


away, 


it turns into a bed.” 


Then Torrio went to jail. He was treat- 
ed with the respect his wealth and power 
called for, Special furniture was brought 
in: the warden's office was his for the ask- 
ing: he could make all the phone calls 
he wanted and he could have all the pri- 
vate conferences he desired. During these 
monrhs he ne to a de All that he 
had built up so carefully was now con 
in violence and death and could 
casily mean his own death, He summoned 
Capone. “It’s all yours, AL” he said. 
was leaving leaving everything 
1 over to Capone 10 
п as he wished. All Torrio wanted 
was the peace and quiet of a retired 


Torrio, the mastermind of 
ago underworld, left jail and was 
n a three-car motorcade to meet 
in that would take him to 
New York, where he would meet quietly 
with old friends and talk about the fu- 
ture, then board а boat for a long trip to 
Italy. But he would be back, and when 
he returned, arena would be the 
whole country, for he would play а ma- 
jor role in forging a nationwide criminal 
alliance. 

Now Capone 


the boss. But not, as 
Torrio had been, of a semipeaceful and 
cooperative underworld. There was war 
in Chicago and Capone was ruler of only 
one army, albeit the biggest and strong- 
est, numbering between 750 and 1000 
troops. Arrayed against him were the 
remnants of the O'Banion gang. led now 
by Weiss and joined by other Irish, 


Jewish and Polish gangs who proclaimed 
their hatred of Italians. Their number 


and firepower nearly matched Capon 
But Саропе gang was tightly knit. 
d the drive and ambition that 
others lacked and the unscrupulous amo- 


rality to see him to victory. He was deter- 
mined to be Chicago's master. 

To achieve his goal, Capone knew, he 
would have to smash his opposition unal- 
terably, not with the Torrio technique of 
persuasion, treaties and compromise but 
in the manner he knew best, with vio- 
lence. Initially and unwittingly, W 
was of help, з with Torrio’s departure, 
he turned ns on the Gennas, some- 
üt lesa С pone but more often a 
threat. In a series of street-corner shoot- 
outs, motorcade battles and lonely am- 
bushes during the spring and summer of 
‹ 5 men gunned down Angelo, 
Mike and Tony Genna and a small army 
of their followers. It was the end of the 
Terrible Gennas. The surviving brothers 
fled the city, and when they returned а 
few years later, it was to a life of obscurity 
as importers of cheese and olive oil. The 
demise of the Gennas, and the murder in 
of their protégé Samuzzo 
Amatuna soon after, put the 
Unione Siciliana in Capone's pocket, for 
his consigliere, Tony Lombardo, succeed- 
ed to the presidency, all of which brought 
Capone new power and new troops 

He needed them, for the city rocked to 


the sound of gunfire in a seemingly end- 
less battle between Capone and Weiss. In 
nd one of his. 
Drucci 


the summer of 1926, Weiss 
top gunmen, Vincent "Schemer" 
went to pay a call at the new 5 
Building on South Michigan; they were 
going to make а payoll to political ward 
boss Morris Eller and assistant state's 
attorney and gangland funcral director 
John Sbarbaro. Instead, they met a car- 
load of Capone gunmen. The street in 
front of the building, filled with people, 
was suddenly а war zone as bullets flew 
from both side. The only casualty: 
clerk grazed in the thigh. Later the same 
1 Drucei drove along 
Michigan Avenue, their car was strafed 
bya g Capone car, but again, there 
were no casualties. 

Weiss struck back. About a month later, 
he set up an ambush for Capone at a геу. 
taurant AL frequented near the Capone- 
controlled Hawthorne Race Track. A 
ten-car motorcade sped by. From each car 
protruded gun barrels. And from those 
rely came the spit of bullets into the 
crowded res 
wounded, д 
cent bystanders. Опе woman's injuries 
were severe, and generous Capone paid 
the entire $10,000 hospital bill. He also 
paid for repairs to the restaurant and ad. 
joining stores. 

It wasn't that Capone minded the 
shooting: after all, he did it himself and 
s one of the risks of the business. 
What he minded was all the bad publici- 
ty. Maybe the Torrio way was best, after 
all, he thought. So he sent word to Weiss, 
asking for peace and cooperation: there 
was enough for everyone. Not, Weiss re- 
plied, until Capone turned over to him 
O'Banion's killers: Scalise and Anselmi. 


“I wouldn't do that to a yellow dog, 
Capone snapped. back. 

"The only thing Weiss would listen to. 
Capone decided, was gunfire, and gunfire 
that would end his career. An ambush 
team rented a room next door to the 
O'Banion flower shop, which Weiss still 
used as headquarters. On October 11, 
1926, as Weiss and four companions left 
a car to enter the shop, two waiting gun- 


rectly 


men opened up with tommy guns and 
shotguns. Hit ten times, Weiss was dead 
before he fell to the pavement. A Wei: 

aide was also killed instantly. The two 
others, though wounded, recovered. Di- 
in the line of fire was the Holy 
Name Cathedral. On its cornerstone was 
written: A.D. 1874 AT THE NAME OF JESUS 
EVERY KNEE SHOULD BOW IN HEAVEN АМ 

ox ғлкти. The fusillade that killed Weiss 


nearly obliterated the text, chipping off 
all but: EVERY KNEE SHOULD HEAVEN 
AND ON EARTH. 

So Weiss went to the cemetery, where 
he would soon be joined by Drucci, the 
victim of a policeman's bullet. And С: 
pone said, "Hymic was a good kid. He 
could have gotten out long ago and taken 
his and been alive today.” 

And then, for a time, 


there was а 


Charles W. Burns is 73 years old, 
looks closer to 50, lives like he were 
30 and talks like Anthomy Quinn. 
He drives a cab one or two days a 
week io supplement his $77 Social 
Security and $58 welfare checks, but 
only when the horses aren't. run- 
ning at Arlington Park. The horses 
are Charley Burns's first love. His 
others are poker, craps, driving 
around Chicago and talking to 
people. Any willing passenger gets 
the benefit of his long experience at 
living the good life without ever 
holding a job. As PLAYBOY Associate 
Editor. William J. Helmer discov- 
ered recently, this includes a lively 
narrative of Chicago in Ше good 
old days, which, for Charley Burns, 
began when the Volstead Act took 
effect and ended with its repeal. 


тү OF CHICAGO 


I never worked for a living. 
Never had to. 1 was born in Frisco 
in 1900, and сусп when I was a 
kid—l didn't have по schooling—I learned to make my 
money gambling. Cards and craps, from Seattle to L.A. I 
came to Chicago about the time they outlawed booze and it 
didn’t take much to figure out the angles. If there's anything 
people like as much as gambling, it's drinking. That's why 1 
opened up speak-casies. 

What I'd do is rent myself three or four apartments on the 
North Side, somewhere around Broadway. I'd open up опе 
of them and keep the others in reserve. If there was а pinch, 
1 was open the next day at another address. I did that for 
years and made а hell of a bundle, because I always ran а 
good place. Hell, we had girls, gambling and boore—any- 
thing you wanted. Some guys would come into town and drop 
maybe $1000 or $1500 in 24 hours. That was big money in 
those days and everybody had fun. Even the coppers. 

One time I remember, these two state coppers brought me 
in a load of alcohol and stayed around to play. One of the 
coppers went down on this broad and bit her cunt. I just got 
him to hell out of there before he got in trouble, because you 
had to stay friends with the cops. There was а police station 
right across the street, and they were always coming over. 
They didn't give you no trouble. They wanted a place to go 
like anybody else, and they even got a few bucks out of it. 
More than a few. Hell, 1 supported some of those guys. 
Course, I got pinched now and then. There's always some 
higger in the woodpile doing his goddamn duty, but the 
next day Га beat the rap and he'd be out in the goddamn 
woods. Bill Thompson—he was mayor then—he 
want us closed down. Nobody did. Close the speaks 
nobody would have come to Chicago. It was a hell of a 
wide-open town. 

I was never р 


rt of the Mob, but I didn't argue with them, 
either. It worked like this: You got a few bucks together and 
opened a joint on your own, and sooner or later, when you 
were going good. some guys would come around and ask 


** it eas a hell 
€ 
wide =open town ** 


a short chicago cab ride 
back to the roaring twenties 


PUBLIC CHAUFFEUR'S LICENSE 


CE у= з. 
CHARLES W. BURN 


where you got vour booze. They 
didn't care, you understand. Te 
just a polite way of telling you that 
your next shipment would come 
from them, And, by God, you 
smiled and you bought the stuff. 

I never had any bad run-ins with 
the Mob except once, and that was 
a misunderstanding, I was out of my 
regular neighborhood, the North 
Side, and two guys with guns fig- 
ured me for a finger man setting up 
to heist the crap game they were 
protecting. They took me out in the 
alley and kept asking me where my 
men were, and I kept telling them 
not to shoot me before they called 
some people and checked me out. 
They told me that the guys running 
the game were friends of theirs and 
I shouldn't take their money, and 
I kept saying they were making 
a mistake. 1 scared, because 
they were trigger happy as hell and 
ly wanted to give it to me. That's how guys got ahead i 
those days; they got a good reputation for killing people. But 
опе of them finally checked me out, and after about an hour 
they let me go. That was the closest shave I ever had. I like 
to shit my pants. 

Now, those guys were tough. That's the way guys were back 
then, because that's the way they had to be or they didn't last 
long, It’s not like now. Now all you've got is sissies. 

1 wasn't ever violent myself. I ran my speaks and gambled 
and drank and fucked. Thats all. The coppers were always 
shaking me down and trying to catch me carrying a pistol, bur 
they never did, That wasn't my style. I never wanted to hurt 
nobody and I never did. I only helped ‘em. You know the 
stories about Al Capone opening up soup kitchens after the 
crash? Hell, I used to know Capone. Actually, I didn't know 
him. He was just oue of the guys you saw in the places I hung 
ош. Anyhow, 1 did the same thing. I didn't open no soup 
kitchens, but 1 looked after people and helped them out, 
got them jobs. Like I said, I never worked for a living, but I 
nd back then I could get anybody a job doing 
something. Thats the way I like it. 1 like to see everybody 
but me. 


a 


bbing isn't work, I only drive this 
when I've got nothing better to do and when I feel like 
s the only way you can meet 


ever met who knows how to live, Most people, they work, 
they get old and they dic, because they never learned how to 
live. I'm at the track four, five days a week; at night I hit the 
bars where I know people; and I still gamble like hell. The 
reason I'm still alive is because I never worked and never 
settled down and I spent my life doing what 1 enjoyed. You 
know, that’s what I’m doing right now. Chicago's not as easy 
as it used to be in the Twenties, but a man can still get by. 


213 


PLAYBOY 


214 


semblance of peace. On October 21, 192 
Weiss's allies, frightened now of Capone 
firepower, sued for peace and Capon 
granted it to them. Hc gencrously permi 
ted the other gangs to split the spoils 
north of Madison Street, while everything. 
south, and all the suburbs would be 
his—a territory containing more than 
20,000 speak-easies, uncounted numbers 
of gambling dens, brothels and other 

1 told them.” he would later 
те making a shooting gallery out 
great business and nobody's profit- 
ing by it 

Peace came at the right moment. For 
Big Bill Thompson was coming back. He 
campaigned on a platform of “What was 
good enough for George Washin 
good enough for Bill Thompson. . . . 
T want to make the king of England keep 
snoot out of America! America first, 
t and always!" and asserted that “I'm 
wetter lı the Adantic Ocean. When 
I'm elected, we'll nor only reopen the 
places these people have closed but we'll 
open 10,000 new ones.” He was backed by 
a huge war chest, including a $260,000 
contribution from Capone, who also sup- 
plied plenty of bribes, terror and multi- 
ple votes. Thompson was swept back into 
city hall Chicago was wide open 
apone would later say that his 
payoffs to the police in Ше Thompson 
ега averaged 530.000.000 a year and that 
half of the force was on his payroll. “Chi- 
саро is unique," said Professor Charles E. 
Merriam, University of Chicago political 
scientist and civic reformer. “It is the 
only completely corrupt city in America 

Thompson was good for business; the 
campaign investments paid off. But any 
hope of a lasting peace was bound to be 

n illusion in Chicago. No sooner had. 
one group been conquered than another 
rose to take its place. As the O'Banions re- 
grouped, under Bugs Moran. and the 
Gennas disappeared, Capone was faced 
with a new challenge, from the nine Aiel- 
lo brothers and their countless cousins 
who had succeeded the Gennas as bosses 
of Liule Italy and who, unlike the 
Nei were Sicilians and so 
full-fledged mafiosi with lines around the 
country (Capone was eventually made an 
honorary member of the honored society 
but never a full member). The Aiellos 
ропе" choice, Tony Lom- 
rdo, became president of the Chicago 
inch of the Unione over their choice, 
elder brother Joseph. They determined 
that both Lombardo and Capone, and 
nyonc supporting them, had to go. They 
forged an alliance with Moran and they 
spread the word that they'd pay 550,000 
to anyone who killed Capone. 

All through 1927, there were takers. 
But most fell victim to the weapons of 
Capone's chief bodyguard, James Vincen- 
zo De Mora, who went by the name 
of “Machine Cun" Jack McGurn. The 
icllos even tried poison, offering to pay 
the chef of a favorite Capone restaurant, 


Diamond Joe Esposito’s Bella Napoli 
Café, $35,000 if he would put pru 
acid in Capones minestrone. The 
chef told Capone. 

It was just too much, especially when 
Capone learned that Joe Aiello had 
brought in some outside gunmen to take 
care of both him and Lombardo from am 
bush. The police stumbled across the 
plot, finding first one stake-out, then 
another, and finally being led to Aiello. 
Не was jailed. While in his cell waiting 
for bond to be posted, cars filled with Ca- 
pone gunmen drove up and surrounded 
the jail. One of the gunmen was arrested 
nd thrown into the cell adjacent to Aicl- 
10%. He whispered in Italian to the mafio- 
so that his first step outside would be his 


last. The terrified Joe Aiello pleaded for 
police protection and got the 
way to the railroad station train 


that carried him and several of his 
brothers to safety in the East. (Joc Aicllo 
would return a few years later and at 
succeed to the presidency of the Union 
that he had always craved. But he would 
be no more fortun: that office than 
his predecessors: Within a year, he would 
be caught in a cross fire from two 
machine gun nests prepared by Capone.) 

By the end of 1927, then, it seemed that 
pone. from his luxurious and guarded 
headquarters, could look out over a city 
he ruled. having conquered it and 
achicved more by guns and violence than. 
had Torrio by soft words and treaty. 
And Capone was famous. Torrio had 
never been more than a shadowy figure 
whose power and influence few realized. 
He had shunned publicity; the garrulous 
pone wallowed in it. He loved it that 
every schoolboy knew his name and fa 
at wherever he went—in Chicago. 
Florida, anywhere —he was the center of 
attention. He gave interviews, trying to. 
n. but not apologize for, his ac- 
tions. He had power and he was certain 
that to Chicago, at least, he was essential. 
When Thompson got virtuous—deciding 
when Calvin Coolidge announced he 
would not run that he would make a 
damn fine President and the way to get 
the Republican nomination was by show- 
ing he was honest and was cleaning up 
Chicago—Capone just took himself off to 
M lorida, where he bought his Palm 
Island retreat, “Let the worthy citizens of 
Chicago get their liquor the best way they 
he announced. “I'm sick of the 
job." Once Thompson renounced his 
White House dreams, the heat came olf 
and Capone returned to pick up his life 
as Chicago's master and benefactoi 

And benefactor he was, indeed. From 
the huge roll of bills he always carried i 
his pocket, he would peel off ten-dollar 
tips for newsboys and bootblacks, $20 for 
hatcheck girls or chambermaids, 5100 
for waiters. There was no end to his gen- 
erosity. But then, he could айога to be 
generous. He was earning, the Federal 


Government would later estimate, more 
п $105,000,000 a year by 1928. 
Capone had expanded (аг beyond liq- 
uor, gambling and prostitution; he had 
lock on just about every racket in the city. 
By the end of 1928, according to the 
state's attorney's office, at least 91 Chicago 
ions and trade associations had fallen 
under the rule of the racketecrs. They 
controlled everything. from retail [ood 
and fruit to city hall clerks to plumbers to 
bakers to carpetlayers to kosher butchers 
to movies and beyond. They collected ini- 
tiation fees and monthly dues; in return, 
they offered employers protection. from 
unions, unions the right to organize and 
to all, protection—from themselves. The 
cost to the public was cnormous. When 
Capone moved in on the deaning-and 
dyeing industry, in order to raise the pro- 
tection money, the merchants had to raise 
the price of cleaning a suit by 75 cents: 
when he moved in ou Ше kosher butch- 
ers, tlie price of corned beef went up 30 
cents a pound. By the end of the decade, 
the Mob's control was costing consumers 
n Chicago $136,000,000 a year, or $45 for 
every man, woman and child. 
cket, and others E 
alized it. Bugs Mor 
ing the shattered O'Ban 
was back on the attack. "Trucks carrying 
uor for Capone from the Deiroi 
Purple Gang were repeatedly hijacked. 
Though dog racing was then illegal 
(Florida, in 1931, would be the first state 
to legalize it), dog tracks, dominated by 
Capone, flourished. Moran went into 
competition and even tried to burn down 
a Capone track. He tried to muscle into 


the Capone-dominated cleaning-and-dye- 
ing industry. He set up ambushes and 
tried to kill Capone favorites like 


McGurn. And he never lost a chance to 
aunt Capone in public. “If you ask me, 
he's on dope,” Mora 1. "Me, I don't 
even need an aspirin.” Capone, Moran 
would say, was “the beast.” 

By carly 1929, Capone had had enough. 
He took off to Florida. But he was con- 
stantly on the phone with Jake Gu 
Chicago and several of his aides made 
quick trips down to see him. On Febru 
14, Capone rose early, had his customary 
swim and then took himself down to the 
olhce of Dade County solicitor Robert 
Taylor, for a chat about what he had 
bcen doing in Florida. 

While Capone talked away the morn- 
ing hours, it was Saint Valentine's Day in 
Chicago. At the 5-М-С Cartage Company 

warehouse at 2122 North Clark Street, 
aan Ge cis Bunion gang were 

g for а truckload of whiskey from 
a hijacker in Detroit. They were wa 
ng. too, for the arrival of their leader, 
Bugs Moran. They were six hoodlums— 
Johnny May, Frank and Pete Gusenberg, 
James Clark, alias James Kashellck (he 
was Moran's brotha 
Heyer and Al Weinshank. With them was 
Reinhardt H. Schwimmer, an optometrist 


and friend of Moran's who, though not a 
gangster, enjoyed the company of gang- 
sters. And there was a dog. 

A long black Cadillac, a police gong on 
its running board and a gunrack behind 
the driver, pulled up outside. Moran, late 
for his appointment, was just turning the 
corner; he spotted the car, noticed its ac 
couterments and, certain that a raid or a 
shakedown was about to take place, 
turned and hurried away. 

According to witnesses, four men, two. 
in police uniforms and two in civilian 
clothes, emerged from the car and started. 
for the warehouse. A fifth man remained 
behind the Cadilacs wheel. The four 
disappeared inside. 

One resident of Clark Sweet thought 
he heard the sudden clatter of a pneu- 
matic drill going on and off in several 
short bursts, then the sound of 2n auto- 
mobile backfiring twice. Two neighbor- 
hood women, drawn by the noise, looked 
out their windows and saw two men 
civilian clothes leave the warehouse, their 
hands in the air, followed by two police- 
men with drawn guns. They got into the 
adillac and drove off. The women 
gged. It was just a raid. 

And then the dog started to howl, a 
sad, mournful cry cutting through the si- 
lence. The dog would not stop. A neigh- 
bor went to investigate and fled, si to 
call the police. As best an could re- 
construct it, the seven men in the ware- 
house had becn disarmed and lined up 


shi 


id then cut down by 
all had been riddled in 


the head, chest and stomach. Two, May 
and Kashellek, had also been blasted in 
the face at close range by shotguns. There 
was blood everywhere, on the floor and 


an could 
happened. Somchow, Frank 
Gusenberg had survived. He would last 
a few hours. But all he would say was, 
"Nobody shot me. I ain't no copper. 

No one was ever convicted ol the Saint 
Valentines Day Massacre. But Moran 
knew who was behind it. “Only Capone 
Kills like that,” he said. To which Capone, 
brought the news at a gala party at his 
Palm Island mansion, replied, “The only 
man who kills like that is Bugs Moi 

Gapone could joke, but the jokes had a 
gallows ring, not just for his victims but 
for himself. The slaughter on Clark Street 
d solved little, for Moran, the intended 
ictim, had escaped. And the slaughter, at 
ast, stirred а wave of public revulsion 
nd disgust. And a cry for vengeance 
from Moran. The Аййй» had put a 
$50,000 price tag on Capone and, despite 
their flight in disarray, they had never 
withdrawn it. Now Moran said he would 
guarantee payment. And he found re- 
cruits willing to do the job. In 1928. Tony 
Lombardo had been gunned down in 
a crowd of shoppers on Madison Street. 
a fate that seemed destined for the 
Unione's Chicago leaders. (Joe Aiello. it 


was theorized, was behind that one.) 
After others who tried to hold down 
the job met the same fate, the new 
president became a Sicili man 


O'Banion killers, Ansclmi and Se 
"They decided to collect the Aiello-Mor 
bounty. But Capone, with spies cver 
wher ii treach- 
ery. On May 7, at the Ha 
Gicero, he gave them a 
they had eaten and drunk to sa 
aides suddenly surrounded them and tied 
them to their chairs. Then Capone р‹ 
sonally picked up a baseball bat and with 
slow and cool deliberation, beat each one 
to death. 

It might have seemed, then, that de- 
spite the constant threats and the steady 
guerrilla warfare of his enemics, Саро 
still ruled with impunity. He dealt with. 
his foes mercilessly and had little fear of 
official retribution—between 1927 and 
1930, there were at least 297 gangland 
killings in Chicago, but only two assassins 
were ever tried and convicted. 

But the times were chang and so 
was the public temper. An era was com- 
g to an end. For years, the public had 
read of the exploits of Capone just as 
avidly and with just as little moral con- 
cern or overt outrage as it had read of the 
exploits of the other public heroes of 
these years of wild wealth and moral stu- 
por—Babe Ruth, Charles Lindbergh, 


The great impostor. 


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It tastes great because it's made with a 
special blend that includes imported cigar 
tobaccos. Cured for mildness and flavor. 
And it looks great! 

ee Naturally, it all adds up to 
a very satisfying smoke. 
An A&C Little Cigar. 


Regular or Menthol. 


There are twenty A&C Little Cigars in 
the elegant crush-proof pack. 


215 


PLAYBOY 


216 legging bus 


But the 
ined Chicago's streets, the 
innocents—and there were many—who 
were caught in the cross fires, the indis- 
iminate and unconcerned violence, the 
mounting revelations about official com- 
icity and corruption were beginning to 
n effect on the city’s and the n: 
tion's conscience, And the sudden end to 
giddy era on the black Wall Street 
afternoon in October of 1929 did even 
more. Who had time any longer to be 
sed at tales of Al Capone and his mil- 
ions when there was no money to pay the 
rent or put bread on the table, or even to 
buy a newspaper to read about him? 
When Jake Lingle, a Chicago Tribune 
crime reporter, was shot down on June 9, 
1930, and it was soon learned that he had 
been something else in addition to a re- 
porter, that he had been a paid ally and 
ап active member of the Mob with spr 
ing interests in the rackets, even the ki 
of detached amusement with which the 
press ewed Capone and the mobs 
as long as they were around, there were 
plenty of good stories that would sell p 
per) ended. The press began to look 
harder and with more concern at the do- 
ings of the underworld, to demand action. 
And the wrath increased, and so did the 
demands for a wholesale cleanup. 
ter, Jack Zuta, the 
п mob's expert оп whorchouses, 
arely escaped assassination as he rode in 
police car under official protection, 
Шеп was executed by five C. 
men. When Zuta's papers were exam 
among them were found letters fron 
host of politicians asking for loans, thank- 
ing Zuta for favors and asking for more. 
Perhaps а years earlier, in good 
times, it would all have been dismissed. 
But with the Depression flauening the 


land, it was too blatant; the cries in- 
creased. 
By the last years of the Twent 


racketeers around the nation were becom- 
distressed by the Chicago odor; it was 
giving the whole underworld a bad name. 
And that odor, and the man responsible 
for it, was one of the subjects under dis 

j underworld 
псе from May 13 to May 16, 1929, 
at Atlantic City. The 
tection of Adanti 
the bootlegger 
cian Enoch * Johnson, 
the criminal powers of the n SERI 
Costello, Meyer Lansky, Lucky Luciano, 
Dutch Schultz, Louis “Lepke” Budhal 
ter and others from New York, Max 
Воо Воо" НОГ and cohorts from Phila- 
delphia, representatives [rom Cleveland, 
Boston, everywhere. 
rio, back home from Italy, op- 
ing now in cooperation with Ne 
York rulers, was an omnipresent figure, 
а respected elder statesman of the ш 
derworld. The conference dealt with 
cooperation and syndication in the boot 
ness, began charting a course 


gather: il 


for the day they all knew was coming, 
when Prohibition would end. And there 
was the problem of Capone and how to 
stem the mounting public outcry against 
the violence that had marked Chicago. 
There was, it was agreed, only опе way. 
Capone would have to go, at least tem- 
porarily, and he would have to go w 


Though Capone at first resisted, he at 
last agreed and soon realized that the 
rangements might actually suit him. 
Where better could he be protected from 
the vengeful Moran and his followers 
than in jail for a short spell? Arxangc- 
ments were made with cooperative Phila- 
delphia police. On hi home from 
Adantic City, Capone was picked up for 
concealed weapon. The only 
t shocked him was what he got. 
He expected а vacati 1 couple of 
months. Instead, he was given a one-year 
sentence in Holmesburg County Prison 
and served ten months in luxury. 

But when he left prison in March of 
1930, the world had changed. Prosperity 
was gone and Depression had arrived, and 
with it a contraction of the income from. 
the rackets. Worse, the Federal Govern- 
ment was now alter him. II local officials 
would not deal with the underworld and 
if most Federal laws were ineffective, 
there was, Washington realized, one way 
of getting the mobsters—for violation of 
the income-tax Jaws. Under Elmer L 
Trey, head of the Treasury Department's 
Enforcement Branch, the Government 
took aim first at Chicago and, initially, 
at those under Capone, Ralph Capone 
got hit with a three-year sentence and а 
$10,000 fine for ax evasion; Jake 
Gurik got five years and $17,500; Nitti 
got 18 months and 510,000. 

Then it was A] Capone's turn, The 
pressure on геу to get Capone had come 
from as high as the White House itself. 
President. Hoover kept pressing Treasury 
Secretary Andrew Mellon: “Have you 
got that fellow Capone yet? Remember, 
I want that man Capone in j 
Mellon was passing the orders down to 
Trey and others in the IR. 

But it was no easy task. Capone never 


maintained a bank account, never signed 
а check ora receipt, never bought proper- 
iy in his own name. He paid for every- 


thing in cash and he kept his horde in a 
strongbox under his bed. So the tactic was 
to go alter him on the basis of his net 
worth and net expenditures, to show that 
he had income, undeclared and on which 
no taxes had been paid. Stores were 
scoured to get records of purchases; ho- 
tels! and caterers’ records were examined 
to see how much his parties had cost; the 
brothel operations were studied —even 
the towels that went to the laundry were 
counted in order to estimate income- 
With the heat growing, Capone's Iaw- 
yers went to the Government and offered 
to settle up on back taxes on a reasonable 
basis. No deal. Then the 


advice of everyone, hired five gunmen to 
Kill the tax agents on his trail. The plot 
was discovered and a message was sent to 
Capone to call the gunmen off or they 
would be shot down on sight. Reluctant- 
Ту, he did so. Next, he tried bribery, send- 
ing a message to Irey that he would hand 
over $1,500,000 in cash if the case against 
him were dropped or rigged in his favor. 
Again, no deal. 

In the spring of 1931, Capone was fi- 
nally indicted for failing to file tax re- 
turns and for evading taxes for the years 
1925 to 1929. The Government said it 
could estimate and prove only а fraction 
of his real income, but that fraction came 
to $1,038,655.81, on which he owed 
219,260.12 in back taxes and $164,445.09 
in penalties. 

Capone's trial began on October sixth 
and lasted for ten days. The jury was out 
for eight hours and returned with a guilty 
verdict on five of the 22 counts against 
him. On October 21, Judge James H. 
Wilkerson sentenced him to 11 ycars i 
prison, fined him $50,000 and an 
tional 530,000 for court costs—the harsh- 
est penalties handed out up to that time 
for tax € "You won't scc mc for a 
long time," said Capone as he was led 
away. He was right, First, he v 
Chicago, then, when his appeals had been 


turned down, he was transferred to Fed- 
al prison in Adanta 
he геп 


destroyed by the г; 
spent the remaining seven y 
in guarded isolation on 
would never return to take up his rule 
icago. "AL" said Jake Guzik not 
unkindly, “is nutty as fruitcake.” 

But though Capone had gone—at first 
to prison and then to death—his organ 
zıtion remained and flourished. There 
€ successors who adapted to new 
times, men 1 s 
other Ralph, Jake Guzik, Niti, Sam 
“Momo” Giancana and others. For soon 
pone departed, a new world 
nklin Roosevelt entered. the 
1 made 
was about to dic. 
on era in Chicago, which 


Hollywood movies of gangsters were 
based, had, however, been an except 
and a garish one. There had 
men, particularly in the East and New 
York, who had seen the gold in Ше 
booze and seized it. But they had done so 
without the flair for violence that had 
ed Capone and eventually brought 
his end. They had adapted to cha 
times with greater circumspection 
would last longer. And it would be they 
who came through the world of the 

s to lead crime into a new world 
nization. 


ma 


This és the second in a series of articles 
on organized crime in the United State 


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pu 


preserve and transport the perishable 
product Word must have got around, 
because that primitive cheese has begot 
a staggering array of offspring. They 
come in all shapes, sizes, hues, tastes and 
smells—made from the milk of cows, 
ewes, goats, yaks, buffaloes, mares, rein- 
deer, camels and even donkeys. 

Cheese names sound a roll call of gusta- 
tory delight, as varied in origin as they 
are in taste. Many, such as edam, emmen- 
taler, gorgonzola and bleu de bresse, 
honor the town or area from which they 
come, Others, including stilton and lim- 
burger, call attention to the place where 
they became renowned. La grappe and 
ki se take their names from an 
added ingredient; brick and pineapple, 
from their shape. Monterey jack and 
petit suisse pay tribute to those who 
helped originate them—respectively, 
David Jacks and the little Swiss herder 
who suggested adding an extra measure 
of cream to the mix. Licderkranz ceh 
brates Licderkranz Hall, where a choral 
society sampled the prototype and de- 
manded encores. 

I's estimated that there are about 2000 
cheeses in the world, counting minor 
local variations. Exploring this tantaliz- 
ing profusion much of an ad- 
venture as le: bout wine, Cheeses 
exist for every taste, every purpose, and 
the fun is to discover those you like. The 
United States Department of Agriculture 
classifies this gastronomic trove into 18 
distinct types of natural cheese. according 
to technicalities of production. A break- 


(continued from page 127) 


down into six family groups based on sim- 
ilar sensory traits makes more sense and is 
definitely more enlightening. 


CREME CHEESES 


The richest and most delicate cheeses 
are the crèmes and gournays—smooth 
and velvety, ranging from clotted сешп 
to semifirm in texture. Gréme types are 
meant to be consumed quickly. The un- 
cured often have a relreshing tart under- 
tone, because they're coagulated by lactic 
acid. The cured are lightly fragrant, oc- 
asionally blended with herbs and spices. 
Belletoile, a ravishing triple crème called 
the millionaire's brie, comes either mildly 
ripened or unripened—laced with herbs 
nd garlic or pepper. I's an excellent 
cocktail cheese. Petit suisse is an uncured 
double-créme type that eats like whipped 
cream. Try it over ripe strawberries, 
topped with brown sugar. Tartare, 
boursin, boursault and caboc (rolled in 
oat flakes) are others in the cream family. 
There's also montrachet, a rich, creamy 
cured goat cheese. And don't dismiss 
the native American cream cheese, a gour- 
ay type that rates with any of its kind 
in the world. 

(If your favorite French or Iu 
cheese doesn’t taste quite the same 
home as you remember it did abroad, 
there's a reason. The taleggio you ate in 
Italy was а raw-milk product. But Federal 
Jaw requires that imported cheeses either 
be made from pasteurized milk or be aged 
60 days. The softer imports, therefore, 
are made from pasteurized milk, which 


pres 


“Here comes my country right or wrong.” 


affects the rate of curing and, according 
to some, the flavor.) 


SOFT-RIPENED CHEESES 


Our most familiar gourmet cheeses are 
those in the soft-ripened family—brie, 
camembert, coulommiers and dozens 
more. They are generally small and ripen 
quickly after being rubbed or inoculated 
with a curing agent. Ripening progresses 
from the outside in and ceases when the 
crust is cut, so be attentive and patient. If 
the exterior is white, the cheese will prob- 
ably be waxy and bland. A fully ripe brie 
is soft to the touch and shows reddish-tan 
mottlings on the chalky crust. The inside 
will be lustrous, pale yellow and will hav 
the consistency of cold honey. A slightly 
depressed crust and ammonial odor 
suggest that the cheese is past its prime 
and should be shunned. Brie de meaus 
and brie de melun are good names in 
brie and consistently dependable. 

Coulommiers, a smaller, satiny brie 
type with a hint of hazelnuts in its 
flavor, is gaining adherents. So are the 
rich, oval-shaped caprice des dieux and 
purcerem—cxtra-crcam camembert types. 
Crema danica is silky, mild and pleasant 
but lacks real distinction. To answer 
the universa] question, crusts are edible, 
but the option is with the eater. The 
French usually gobble them up. 

Soft cheeses go well with Ir 
ful, light summer luncheon, 
to improve on a runny brie with ripe 
Comice or Bartlett pears. Brie also makes 
а party spectacular with very little fuss. 
Get a тіре, oozy brie and brush the top 
to remove loose particles. Spread lightly 
with sweet butter, then coat generously 
with chopped toasted almonds, Outa- 
sight! 

For a more intimate occasion, try this 
unusual way to serve vacherin mont Фог 
or ripe camembert. Chill thoroughly, then 
remove top crust, leaving the remaining 
crust as a bowl. Sprinkle with caraway 
sceds and bake until heated through. To 
cat, scoop out cheese with teaspoons 
and spread on plain crackers. bread or 
apple slices. 

While there's room for debate, lim- 
burger and Liederkranz seem to fit in the 
softripened group rather than the semi- 
soft category. Some people can't get past 
the smell, but both are robust, satisfying 
cheeses. Just keep them refrigerated and 
tightly sealed when not in use. 


SEMISOFT CHEESES 


One treads on holy ground when enter- 
ing the realm of semisoft cheeses. The 
most renowned of the breed. port du 
salut, was originated by Trappist monks. 
Indeed, the name translates as “port of 

ion" and commemorates the monks" 
return to France in 1815, alter a period of 
exile. Today, port-dussalut types are made 
in Europe, Canada, United States and 
other countries. A Danish portdu-salut 


Bobs been Famine trains filled with finc T" 


malting barley at the Olympia Brewery for 
mone than thirty years now. 

You get Bob to talking, and youll hear 
some of the best railroad 
stories since Casey Jones. Не! 
got aspecial one he likes to 
tell about our natural artesian 
brewing water Says when 
they were driving steam 
engines they used to fill the 
boilers with our water 
every time they came 
to Tumwater. He 
claims our water 


i BEER 


w. go over the moun- 


ta little bit easier. 
Now, were proud of our art 
s the best be 
country, but we think Bob may be pulling our 
leg with that one. 


т water, 


and we figure it mak in the 


Olympia Brewing 


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wpe, exom, is quite ful-flavored and 
resilient and is a good value. 

Others in the large semisolt family are 
pont Févéque, livorot, maroilles, roy- 
*Idieue, bel paese, tomme de savoie, the 
Portuguese goat or sheep-milk cheese 
queijo de serra and the Americar 
uas, brick, baronet and 
Teleme. originally from the Balk 
sored in California as а breakl 
on toasted English muffins. (If you have 
«исину locating good jack or teleme, 
The Cheese Factory, 830 Ma 
Pleasanton, California, will ship. They 
Iso make a savory salame cheese that 
combines jack and chips of Italiam 
salin 


MI these cheeses are fairly mild to ro- 


bust lying with age, 
the usual case. They're supple, buttery- 
waxy, and should yield to finger pressure 


at room temperature. 

Semisoft cheeses go well with bread 
and beer. Solt pastes star on a cheese 
howd, complement fruit handsomely and 
are equally tasty as snacks and desserts. A 
suave, slightly nutty reblochon or a rich, 
ent delicado rahmkise served with 
1 а glass of chilled amonuil- 
turn a rainy fall afternoon into 
by Renoir. 
pened and 


semisoft cheeses 
ild be rature, but 
should be stored in the refrigerator. Re- 
nove a half hour to one hour bclore serv- 
ic wrap or fi 
ing a whole s 


tcn at room tci 


IL you 
cheese, check to see that it isn't shri 
sweaty or discolored. Cut pieces should 


be an point; they will тіреп no further. 
JE mold appears, just cut it away. The re- 
ning cheese is palatable. 


ma 


FIRM CHEE 


solid, well- 
isoft and the very-hard designations. 
For want of a better name, they're classed 
as firm. Firm cheeses are generally bac- 
teria cultured. and they ripen all over 
simultaneously. Ripening continues as 
long as the temperature is favorable, so 
longer aging thus produces a bigger, zest- 
ier flavor, A subgroup of the firm family 
forms “eyes” when ripening. The forc- 
most representative is emmentaler (from 
the Emme Valley). generally called Swiss 
cheese in this country. Ripe emmentaler 
is somewhat elastic and sweetly nutty. I's 
beautiful with smoked salmon on black 
bread or melted on a hamburger instead 
of Am cheese. The Swiss prefer 
their emmentaler about a year old, but 
they ship it aged fom 60 days to six 
months to the United States and at v: 
of aging to other parts of the 
world, depending on local tastes. 
Natural gruyère, not to be confused 
with the foibwrapped, triangular proc- 
esed cheese, is another Swiss type. Its a 


se 


ous stag 


bit sharper, nuttier and firmer than em- 
mentaler and the eyes are smaller, White 
wine is occasionally rubbed in to intens 
fy the flavor. 

Emmentaler, gruyére and white wine 
are combined in the traditional 1 
Swiss fondue. A teresting fondu 
сап be made with gruyère and Iulian 
Tontina from Aost i ich, nutty 

id. brown-crusted, resembling an over- 


sized cheesecake. Its unusually subtle 


and pleasing, combining the t 
yere with a whisper of port du 
in undertone of butternut. Fonti 
made in many places, but none eq 
of the Valle d'Aosta 

Holland's fraternal twins, edam and 
gouda, rank high among the firms. 
They're almost identical, edam contain- 
ing а slightly lower proportion of butter- 
fat and a slightly higher amount of 
protein, That's the reason ed; 
hold its droll cannonball shape 
ing. Provolone and caciocwallo from 
Italy are similar, but provolone is 
smoked. For full ripe aroma, there's 


that 


from Germany 
Greek gift is feta, a piquant cheese, kept 
moist in brine. Mimolette from France 
is fairly new on the American scene. It 
is roundish, orange-colored, resembling 
both cheddar and edam, with a mild 
sharpness. 

Cheddar is, of course, che most famil- 
iar of the cyeless firm types. The cheese 
takes its name from the English town of 
Cheddar and from a critical step in the 
manufacturing process, Curds are packed 

inst the sides of the vat and then 
ached. to drain the whey. Wh 


sliced. stacked and restacked unt 
of the whey is expelled. The st 
technique, called cheddaring, accounts 
for the characteristic fairly close, 
crumbly cheddar body. Fine cheddars 
crumble rather than paste when rubbed 
between the fingers. Commercial buyers 
look for a minimum of small openings 
and want those to be roughly triangu- 
lar, not circular, Early summer ched- 
ys made from the milk of grazing cows 


ill have an alert, inquiring mind, but heaven only 
knows what interests you these days, Marvin. 


219 


PLAYBOY 


220 


arc said to be best. Although some are 
marketed as young as two months, good 
cheddar deserves at least five or six to de- 
velop. Aging beyond 18 months, however, 
tends to be counterproductive. English. 
Canadian and American cheddars are all 
xcellent amd there's not much to choose 
mong them. New York Stare Mohawk 
lev and Herkimer County raw-milk 
Cheddars or Wisconsin pippin also don't 
sulter by comparison. Colby. of American 
origin, is similar to cheddar, though 


milder and not as dense, Other cheddar- 
like 


cheeses. developed in the United 
rc pincapple, tillamook, long- 
. cooper and the sharp, crumbly 


Cheshire is blander and more open 
than cheddar, with a distinctive salty nip 
derived from the local salt-marsh pasture, 
once covered by the sea. Dr. Samuel John- 
son was a cheshire aficionado, usually or- 
dering it at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese pub. 
You can have it yourself. at the same es 
tablishment, next time you're in London 

Perhaps the best English melting 
Cheese is lancas smooth. 
loose textured It is 
amed 
asure 


in 


sland. 
Most firm cheeses keep well in a cool 
place sudh as a root cellar but require re- 
a an apartment. Chunks hold 
up much better than slices. They should 
меп at room temperature. of comse. 
Ifyou buy a large chunk or a small wheel, 
it may be convenient to keep a small 
ty under a cheese bell in a cool 
» the balance tightly in plastic 
p or foil, to keep it from drying out. 
Cheeses kept at room t 
while may sofien or exude fat. They are 
not spoiled, Just wipe lightly i 
crite. Any mold that appea 
scraped away. An old home rem 
gests wiping with a damp cloth 
of vinegar, to ret 


ung out 
1 mold development. 


BLUE-VEINED C 


ES 


nd could 
family. But there are 
so many—more than 50 types sharing 
the distinctive blue marbling—that we've 
grouped them under arate heading. 
Blues are piquant, peppery, spicy and 
often salty. Their texture is pebbly— 
crumbly when cold but smoother at room 
temperature, which is how these checses 
should be served. Blue types continue 
to ripen even after they're cut, so don't 
y in too big a supply. 
Roquefort region of France gave 
tih to the blues. This oldest and most 
ined types is still 
made from ewe's milk and is still ripened 
in the limestone eaves of the Aveyron re- 
ther sl 
when exported than at hom: 
The grecnish-blue veining can be di 
couraging at first sight. 
such as Charlem: 


encounter. Assured 
s the best part, the 
nd pronounced it 
superb. He even ordered some delivered 
to his palace at Aachen, specifying that 
each be cut open to verily that it was 
abundantly veined. 

Roquefort, stilton and gorgonzola are 
lowed blues. All are fulllavored 
serive Gorgonzola is cream 


than 
suggestion of cheddar in the f 
aged. they become firmer, brown 
the edges and sl 
potting the stilton began as а practical 
measure to restore moisture to dried sur- 
faces. Connoisseurs deplore the prac 
saying itis used to mask poor q 

In recent years, Danish blue has caught 
on, outselling the big three. While price 
is an inducement, Danish blues sell on 
their quality. Theyre highly flavored 
and heavily veined, but not too bitey or 
аштуу. Bleu d'auvergne (a milder cow's- 
milk version of roquefort), normanna-ost 
Norwegian blue) and the rare blue 
c fans among the 
enli. Sa ped, ercamy pipo 


cogno. 
«теп and soft, spreadable bleu de bresse 
are more delicate fromages persilles, 


міс blue 
n а handy eight- 


which still offer aut 
Bleu de bresse comes 
ounce size but doesn't keep very well. 1f 
the package sends strong. ammo 
sages or the foil wrap sticks to the cheese, 
try another box. 

Blues are often blended with cream 
cheese or butter for dip celery, 
abled into salads, se kers 

cocktails. They're delicious with 
Delicious apples and other fruit. 
The Spanish have a novel way with the 
ve blue, queso de cabrales, serving it 
with sweet, golden honey for dessert. 


VERY HARD Ci 


‘The very hardest ch 
nas in Italy for their ch 
ard cheeses take long 

Curing, two years or more, and theyre 
very low in moisture, therefore firmer. 
Flavor and color deepen with age and the 
cheese becomes even more granular and 
brite. Granas аге rubbed with grape- 
seed oil, win out 
the air—like corking a 
auditioned by light thumpings of a ham- 
mer to test for ma A skilled rapper 


сай, 


is without peer. Other place n 
о. lodigiano, modena and a grana 
padano from the Piedmont region. Par- 
mesan was popular back in Boccaccio's 
time. One of the Decameron tales is 
about rolling plump pillows of ravioli 
down a mountain of grated parmesan, to 
the pasta. A tempting vision—it al- 
most reads like a Restaurant Associates 
speciacular. 


Romano or sardo roma 
wd saltier than ра 
mano is made with sheep's п 
romano with goat's milk. 
we're sceing more and more 
tuted for parmesan, because of price. A: 
ago is a piquant table cheese when young 
and an acceptable replacement for par- 
mesan when fully aged. Young parmesan. 
incidentally, is often served as a table 
cheese in Italy, but it’s hard to find in the 
States. 

Switzerland is known for several very 
hard cheeses. The jade-colored sapsago is 
flavored with clover and may be grated 
into an omelet. Spalen, or sbrinz, is hard, 
pungent and richer in butterfat than par- 
mesan. The cheese is so indurate it is 
often cut with a wood plane, the shavings 
sprinkled with pepper and eaten with 
vegetables, 

АП the very hard cheeses are primarily 
grated and used as condiments in soups. 
pastas, sauces, eggs and to gratinee casse- 

fish and baked vegetables. Dry 
ged American jack. is used 
ng cheese on the West Coast. 


sharper 


c 


ESE AND WINE, 


Cheese and wine are represented as the 
ideal gastronomic alliance and. indeed, 
they're a happy combination. But cheese 
is not a proper palate clear a wine- 
tasting. If y a serious sipper, yor 
know that checse makes wine 
ter than it is, heranse it desensit 
palate. Paul Kovi, savvy director of New 
York's prestij 
rant, does not encou 
nibble strong checse with his great vin- 
tages. For support, he cites the Bordeaux 
wine merchant! creed. “Buy on. bread, 
sell on cheesc. 
litionalists want only red wine 
heir cheese, the stronger the che 
er the wine. Being can 
astute, Kovi has some definite rec- 
ions in this area, not all of 
them classic. He prefers one of the me- 
dium-sweet Sauternes Barsac or Châ- 
1 Suduiraut, to accompany roquefort, 
a sturdy white Burgundy, perhaps a Me 
sault, with crémes and ст 
ure Bord 
sec champagne wi 
rambol. He regards Trappist cheeses 
eal mates for full-bodied 
у-йауогей kuminost a 
for flowery Gewürztraminers. 


y palate in the multitude of 

ties now on the market. Those who 
prefer rosé wines will probably opt for 
the mildripened or fresh-milk cheeses. 
However, if you've a touch of the swash- 
buckler, have а fling at the rowdier types, 
such as livarot and maroilles. But wh 
ever way you go, you'll have a gr 
along the whey. 

ü 


WEE UWTWEFIWGER ioc irom page ttr) 


Buckingham has the hands of a man. Like 
those." Не turned up his palms. They 
lused. "Once, using 
ial ng but a brass candlestick fashioned 
igging tool. these hands 
tunneled through forty feet of masonry 
and dirt to freedom. Yes, along 
health, С гапа fortune, I've some- 
times even hı 
for you and your generation, This ring is 
among the few things left to me. Must you 


ed at the ring as though 
ignant growth on his finger. 
reach Toronto, ГИ get it 


"But when w 
he promised. 


cut off.” 

The man shook his head. "How do I 
know you won't make a break for it when 
we land and try to escape. through the 
crowd? Oh. I have ways of stopping you. 
But they would attract attention and T 
don't want that No, be realistic. There's 
ошу one way." He opened a small, pearl- 
sided. penknife whose blade showed the 
mark of the whetstone. “The finger has 
to go at the knuckle,” he said 

"phe hell it does!” insisted. Bunting 
loudly. "I——" But his mouth snapped 
shut and his eyes became large buttons of 
n seized the ring be- 
tween his thumb and forefinger. 

"It won't hurt as much as you might 


think.” he said, signaling with the knife 
for Bunting to sit down on the commode. 
“Because of the shock, you see. La 

ill hurt like the blazes, but not now. 
And if you get to a doctor soon enough, 
sometimes he can even sew the finger 
back on." The knife poised for the cut. 

ГИ buy it” whispered Bunting 
quickly. He nodded his head. "II buy 
the ring." 

“You'd pay two thousand dollars for a 
finger?” said the man with а twinkle in 
his eye. “Why, that’s ten thousand dollars 
a hand. Thats forty thousand dollars just 
for a set of fingers and toes, Come, young 
man, where's your sense of humor? Why, 


my profession places less value on a whole 
human life t 


you do on one of your 
* He waved the 


Let's get the messy business over 


knife. 
with.” 


'sold for two thousand dollars,” gasped 
Bunting, “Il write you a check 
“No checks,” said the 
“A British secretservice major 
and 1, both feeling our whiskey and 
sodas, once bet to sce who could hang the 
longest by his hands from the battle- 
ments of Hdratyi Castle. 1 recall, inci 
dentally, that as the majors fingers 
started slipping. he muttered ‘Oh, bothe 
and fell without another sound into the 


firmly. 


dry moat. Unfortunately, his stake was 
in the form of a check and his estate 
stopped payment. So no checks. Just my 
luck, by the way. that alter the body and 
cliccts had been shipped home, 1 learned 
the major always carried twenty gold 
sovereigns sewn into his belt.” 

“Tve ошу got three hundred and 
seventy-two dollars on me.” said Bunting 
hoanely, “Honest.” He pulled his belt 
out of its loops and handed it over. The 
ave him a skeptical look and sawed, 

c. Nothing. 
tossed the 


man 
through the belt with the k 
He smiled regretfully 
pieces into the corner. 

reme 
struggling to get the expansi id 
wer his hand without touching the bee. 
“I paid four hundred dollars for it.” 

The man looked at the watch. “Ah, 
what а coincidence, is a Labelle. Tm 
afraid you were cheated. The Labelle 
movement is counterfeit Swiss made in 
. The Albanians smuggle them 
abroad to finance their espionage opera- 
tions.” He laughed. joke if you 
turned out to be the E 1 Wolf and 
1, Inspector Buckingham. But, of course, 
you're not. Why. you're positively we 
leaf and you're all clammy- 
No, Colonel Marco might be terrified, 
but he'd never show it. He has flair, 


father’s lucky cuff links," 


Our disposable 


is not so 


disposable. 


The Rogers Disposable. It lasts longer. A lot longer. 


One reason it's not so 
disposable is that it's 
made with extra fuel. 
(Enough to last abouta 
month longer than the 
disposable you may 
now be using.) 


Its not so disposable 
looking. either. In fact, it 
looks more like the 
higher-priced lighters 
than any other 
disposable you can buy. 


It doesn't even work like 
other disposables. (It has a flip-top 


that makes lighting easier, and 
doesnt wear out your thumb.) 


vitm 


The Rogers Not-So-Disposable 
is also not so expensive. 

Itcosts just $1.29, in any of 

six colors. 


The Rogers* 
Not-So- Depos 
Butane Lighter. 


$1.29 


221 


PLAYBOY 


222 


pleaded Bunting, working them out of 
his shirt. “Solid silver with garnets 

The man frowned. "You youngsters 
are really something,” he said. “You'd 
bargain away your grandfather’s lucky 


Bunting was almost in tears. "T never 
y grandfather,” he insisted. 

on to treasure his 
* shouted the man. "Doesn't 
ге any value to you people 
€ Bunting a contemp- 


at alle” He 
tuous look. 
much? АП 


to be done with you." Bunting heaved 
a shudde of relief. The man 
pocketed the money, watch and cuff 


ks. Then he pointed to the ring. “Since 
's yours now, let me show you how to 
trigger the bit 

“No,” said Bunting abruptly, squcez 
ing his eyes shut, “I don't want to know.” 

^I thought perhaps you wouldn't," said 
the man, “Maybe it's just as well. Let's 
go back to our seats, the 

Horrified, Bunting shook his head in. 
wild arcs. aying right here. If any- 
body bumped me, I could be a dead mai 

“Bur this is а public toilet," «aid the 
disdainfully. “Try nor thi 
yourself all the time." Then he p 
and tapped his chin. "Well, maybe I сап. 
help you out.” He poked his head out the 
door and spoke to a stewardess. А mo- 
ment later, she handed through to him a. 


m st 


may 


short-necked plastic baby bottle and a roll 
of 


dihesive tape. 
1 his breath apprehensively, the man 
inserted the trembling finger with the 
ing on it into the boule. Then he taped 
the bottle securely to Bunting's wrist. “A 
bit makeshift,” he said. “But better than 
nothing.” When Bunting looked down 
at the bottle unhappily, the man added, 
ve just saved you from spending the 
est of your life in а toilet. But don't 
nk me.” 
Thank you," said Bunting meckly. 
The man helped Bunting up onto un- 
steady legs and out thc door. "Now, pull 
yourself. together," he said. "People will 
be watching. Be а man.” Buntin 
the bottle close to his body and staggered 
stiffly down the aisle, holding his pants 
up with his elbow. He took the seat by 
the window and huddled there, guarding 
the bottle between his legs. The man sat 
down in the seat by the aisle. “Do you 
ıt your magazinez" he asked 
ting was breathing through his 
No,” he whispered. 
t-belt sign 
nding,” said the m: 
g's seat belt for him. “All you've got to 
we bout now is custon 
g swallowed, 


ag suck- 


ui 


tucked 


buckling Bunt- 


“Customs?” he 


kedl. 


A boule taped to a wrist is bound 
to interest them,” said the man. "Aud 
Mes you have a convincing story, 


they'll probably start poking around the 


ЗА story? 


How should J know?" said the man. 
impatiently. leiime of con- 
cocting tall tales to get me into t 
country or out of that tough scrape, my 
i exhausted. Now, let's sec 
ger gen 
a do." He folded his arn па th 
laughed. “We were talking before 
the Big Bad Wolf, the Alb 
spy," he said, "Well, they say he started 
the rumor that concealed somewhere on 
n—say in something like that 
quantity of lethal, airborne 
powerlul enough to destroy 
cities. Maybe it was a lic. Who 
knows? But it really discouraged people 
from searching him too closely. That's 
why the World Health Organization is so 
ious to get its hands on hi He 
bbed Bunting in the ribs mischievously. 
“WHO's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf,” 
he said. “Get it? W-H-O. The World 
Health Organization,” 

Bunting squeezed his arms across his 
stomach and rocked back and forth in 
his seat. Except for moist and windy 
sobs, he made no sound until the plane 
had taxied to a stop. 

э the other pass 


agers crowded down 
the aisle, the man stood up. “It would be 
beua diat you not be secu with ine, 30 
Till go on ahead." he said, "But you 
must get ahold of youself. Б 
have to say that so far, you haven't stood 
up well at all. This is your last chance to 
redeem yourself. Walk through customs 
like you owned it, Come, I'll meet you 
in the terminal, We'll laugh about all this 
over a drink.” He frowned and put his 
hand on Buntings shoulder. “There, 
now, young man, don't cry. 


ized room 
one side 
anned by 
customs officers on the other. The man 
located his bags, two old-fashioned belied 
cases of dark leather worn tan at the 
ers, and took his place in the lon 
. But baggage inspection moved 
ly and he was soon appreh 
was still no sign of Bunting. With a 
courtly bow, the man allowed two little 
old ladies to precede him in the lin 
Suddenly and with a loud moan that 
blended terror amd the desperate chal- 
lenge of a cornered animal, Bunting burst. 
through the door, Wild-eyed and holding 
up his pants with one hand and with the 
other balled up in his raincoat 
vied in the crook of his 
ball, he dashed across the 
bound. he was up en onc of the counters 
d might have highestepped his way 
past the startled customs ollicer il he 


medium: 


nsive. There 


hadn't tripped over an open suitcase. The 
bbed him by the ankle 

the side 
Ш fours « 


But Bunt 
of the head 
the end of the counter. There he was 
led by another customs officer and 
dragged to the floor. Bunting—his howl 
had become a roar—fought his way to hi: 
feet. But the third customs officer brought 
him down from behind, while the fou 
r reinforcements. 
ing up his two suitcases and excus- 
ing himself as he went, the man moved 
quickly up the line as though go 
help subdue the lunatic. 
he reached the tangle of arms and legs on 
the floor, he turned and passed unob- 
served through the door and out into the 
terminal. The plastic baby bottle must 
have been torn from Bunting 
the struggle, for as the door sw 
nd him, the 
he heard a tinkling, musicbox rendition 
of Be My Little Baby Bumblebee. 
А haggard old limousine was w 
at the curb, The man threw the b; 
the back seat and followed them, 

“Any trouble, Colonel Marco? 
the chauffeur, a young man with ha 
color of Н: 

“I was afraid Fd been recognized on 
boarding," said the man. “A little diver- 
sionary action was necessary in case they 
wired ahead. It worked out just fine." He 
tapped a suitcase. "Another nine thou- 
sand counterfeit Swiss mov s he 
neath the trusty false bottoms, Yanek,” 
ied his people would find a 
icing their ventis 
But at least now they were ready to move. 
‘The man smiled to himself. Watch out, 
Bucky Beaver and your precious Royal 
Canadian Naval Magneto, Here comes 
the Big Bad Wolf! Out loud he said, 
ck, someday soon Alba 
nate the Adriatic.” 

“I hope so, sir," said Y 
out from the curb. 

By the way,” said the man, relaxin 
against the seat, “that new receptionist. 
the shy, plump one who had just arrived 
at the consulate on my last visit, what w: 
her name again? E bought her a lile 
trinket. Unfortunately, 1 had to use it lor 
my diversion. 

acan Nadia, 


will domi- 


апек, pulling 


айу, forcing а 
view mirror. Then he si 

Well, the spoils from Bun 
nsfer from the Nadi 
Fund to the Colonel М 


те. 

ng he would 
Entertainm 
reo Retires 


Fund. Indeed, all of a sudden he did [eel 
old. He stared n whorl of the 
back of the driver's head. Ah, you young, 


people. he thought, won't you ever leave 


us anything? 


"I don't know how they found out so soon that we struck pay 
dirt, but, Lordy, I’m not asking any questions." 


223 


PLAYBOY 


224 


city uuheels „арон pige 123) 


there; expecting to get rich, in spite of 
the fat boys in Detroit and all those 
lorence Nightingales in Washington. 
No matter how large the middle, there is 
ways a fringe arca, and here is where 
Gates and O'Donnell have chosen to stake 
their claims, although their approaches 
to the problem are hemispheres apart. 
Gates, a former resident engineering gen- 
ius at General Motors, is heading a com- 
ny that is manufacturing а PPV— 
people-powered yehicle—that will sell for 
less money than you could tie up in a 
sterco system for your Caddy. James D. 
O'Donnell, on the other hand, is produc 
ing a far-out, American sports car that you 
can jump into for about 30 grand a copy. 
tes in his rch for the bottom line in 
basic transportation and O'Donnell with 
is high-buck luxury car are both see 
new ways to exploit ihe national fasc 
tion with vehicles and to counter the 
march toward homogenized automobiles. 

Gates looks like a company man. Slope- 
shouldered and modestly sized, his man- 
ner is owlish and quietly precise, as befits 
his schooling at General Motors Institute 
and his 17 years of service in the engi- 
neering legions of the world's largest 
corporation, Now he occupies à small, 


al park. His desk i 
model, cluttered with papers and engi 
neering manuals. One end of the room is 


an inexpensive steel 


у | geas a 
billiard table. It, too, is piled with pro- 
fessional books and schematic drawings. 
It could be the office belonging to any 
one of a thousand senior engineers who 
labor quietly 
Three. Now Gates is [ree of such duties 
nd is the leader o 
associates that has managed to be the 
on the market w PPV—a vehicle 
powered Бу... human beings. Out back, 
the 45 employees of EVE (Environmental 
Vehicles, Inc) are hard at work fabricat- 
ing part of the 10.000 PPV's they expect 
to produce this year. 
O'Donnell, in the m 
wood-paneled office on the 
the Time and Life Building in Man 
tan, He is a sharp-featured man of middle 
age, with pully, rather tired eyes and ex- 
pensively cut, graying hair that falls styl 
ishly over his ears. He is an investment 
nker, and he has the relaxed confi 
dence of a high«dollar gambler who is 
used to winning. On a wall of his office 
hangs a painting of a prototype of his 
car—the Stutz—resurrected in name only 
from the limbo of the Depression and 
now being marketed by O'Donnell as 
the ultimate in vehicu agance. 
O'Donnell is no car nut like Gates. He 
as spent no lifetime in apprenticeship, 
preparing for his leap imo the world of 
making cars. Automobiles stimulate liule 


са 


interest in him, by his own admission, 
cept that he sees in them a source of rev 
enue through the use of the once magic 
name of Stulz. While the clatter of Gates's 
factory is separated from him by a thin 
plaster wall, O'Donnell seldom connects 
physically with his cars. They are being 
Jabricated thousands of miles to the cast. 
in the northern Italian village of Caval- 


lermaggiore, 35 kilometers down the road 


fom Turin. Scanning his ledgers high 
above the bustle of Sixth Avenue, Big 
Jim hopes that the 35 craftsmen at Car- 
Tozerria Saturn will onc day soon sort 
out the endless production bottlenecks so 
that he will be able to import 10 to 20 
Suutzes a month. 

The contrasts between Gates and his 
pedal car and O'Donnell and his crypto- 
d 
are only similar in that they are wying to. 
produce road vehicles for the American 
arket—an endeavor that has had а mor- 
ity rate hi 1 the trench warfare 
at Verdun. nds of small firms 
have tried to nibble at the market of the 
uto goliaths and, save for a few—Avanti 
ud Excalibur are the best known of a se- 
lect lor—they have failed. But Gates has 


lassic need no belaboring. The two men 


a clear chance. His product is hardly in. 
direct competition with the major 


tuto 
у because his PPV isn't 
at least in the classic 
iomobile is powered by 
ngine. Kiding into the 
ket place on the crest of such concerns 
з air pollution, the energy crisis and the 
песа for physical finess, his PPV | 
ted major enthusiasm from investors. 
гї believe it,” says Gates. "A guy just 
olfered us a sum for a five percent piece of 
the company that was more than our total 
investment to date.” 

The People-Powered Vehicle 
happened one ter lunch 
and Mike Pocobello, Ziggy Obidzinski 
and Dick Rutherford—his partners in 
Antues Engineciing, а contract engincer- 
ing firm the four ex-G.M. employees had 
nted—had just returned from а quick 
sandwich to resume work on a special- 
project electric delivery truck when Gates 
blurted, "You know, the next great 
trend in transportation will be people- 
powered vehicles.” 

“You're crazy,” said Pocobello. 

But they spent the rest of the day at the 
drawing board, making sketches of a 
lightweight, pedal-powered machine that 
would transport two people at speeds up 
to 30 miles per he 
basic concept was clear. Thi 
would be a tricycle configura 
duce the rolling resistance 
mize the frontal area. Steering would be 
hy a tiller connected to the front wheel. 
The body would be molded plastic. The 
prototype was built with finite- 
speed transmission that was a failure. 


prim, 
an automobile: 
sense that an 
some sort of 
m 


just 
Gates. 


- Within hours, the 


ir machine 
ion, to re- 
id to m 


made another mistake on the first 
ys Gates. "We used a semilinear 
pedal motion, which meant that you 
ped the thing like an organ. That 
bout 30 percent less efficient than 
the normal circular-rotation motion that 
is used on conventional bicydes. We 
changed it immediately.” Early models 
appeared with a bicycletype dérailleur 
five-speed transmission. but this. too, had. 
limitations and finally Gates, Pocobello 
and Obidzinski developed and patented 
their own threespeed transmission. that 
could be up-and-down-shifted while stand- 
ing still, under way or coasting—some- 
thing that could not be donc with the 
dérailleur. Once this problem was over- 
come, the PPV was ready for production — 
provided the necessary capitalization 
could be found 
Antares Engineering was а shoestring 
operation. Gates and his associates h 
solid reputation im automobile racing. 
ily due to their major efforts with 
ous Chaparral cars of Texan Jim 
L These vaunted machines were for 
the most part creations of the research 
development section of Chevrolet 
Engineering (although С.М. had an offi- 
nonracing policy) and it was Gates 
who did much of the basic design on 
the Chaparral 2] "vacuum cleaner”—the 
boxy Can-Am car that Hall and Jackie 
Stewart proved was the fastest ra 
machine ever built. It was so fast, and 
such a radical departure from norm. 
rave-car design—with its suction system 
that kept it glued to the track in corn 
that the intematio acing authori- 
ties ruled it illegal. While the 2 
never seen on the tracks 
суз reputation inside the spo 
made, which in turn encouraged him and 
Pocobello (who was also a major factor in 


While they were working on the PPV 
and other research efforts, they under- 
took the construction of three radical In- 
dianapolis cars for the 1972 "500." They 


were weird, canoeshaped machines that 
employed far-out st g theories. 
A shortage of development time doomed 
them to failure and caused Gates and his 
sociates to plunge back into the PPV 
project with even greater zeal. If the An- 
tares Indianapolis cars had been succ 
Tul, it is possible that the PPV might have. 
been shelved indefinitely. As it was, they 
carried on with the project, which will 
probably prove to be substantially more 
profitable than 100 Indy cars. A Mich 
sportsman named U. Е. "Pat" Patrick, 
who has made a fortune in oil and 
natural-gas exploration, provided the 
tial financial backing. “Actually, we were 
going to take the PPV idea to a big cam- 
«та manufacuner in Chicago,” says Gates. 
“Dick Rutherford, who handles Antares 
publicity and promotion, had written a 
40-paye proposal and because we were 

(continued on page 228) 


YOU NEVER KNOW 


WHAT AN AIR FORGE SKILL 
SPAR! 


We can’t swear you'll 
hit it big after you've been in 
the Air Force. But what we 
can say is that we'll sce to it 
you get the thorough techni- 


cal training that will help you 
get the most out of any career 
opportunity that comes along. 

We figure anybody can 
give you a job. But you want 
more than a job, you want a 
future. That's where we shine. 
The Air Force gives you a 
combination of both practical 
skill and sound theory. Thats ВЕ 
the combination that helps a man go 
up the ladder. Or helps him run a 
company of his own. 

Jf you've got a bent for electrical 
work, for example, we've got dozens 
of different skills you can learn. If you 
Ісап more toward accounting, engi- 
neering, plumbing, or mechanics, we 
have those too. Take your pick before 
you sign up. If the one you want is 
available, the Air Force guarantees 


WIL 


you'll get it. If it's not, we'll help you 
pick another one that best suits your 
aptitude. 

Sleep on it. Then call 800-447- 
4700, toll free. (In Illinois 800-322. 
4400.) You'll get the full story on Air 
Force skills, and the paid vacations, 
good steady pay, and other benefits 
you'll get while you're mastering the 
one you want. Or mail in the coupon, 
and get the facts in black and white 


Air Force Opportunities ae | 
Randolph AFB, Texas 78148 4 
Name. | 
Address E 
=| 

_ — Zip. l 

Soc. Sec. #. Age = 
High School Кын е || 
1 understand there is no obligation. 1 


FIND YOURSELF IN THE AIR FORCE. 


225 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


COLLECT APPROACH 
Somebody had to create it—a handsome 
new, subscription-only slick magazine 
dedicated to the accumulation of 
things. Yes, connoisseurs and trash- 
men everywhere, Acquire is your rag— 
and all for only $10 for ten issues 
sent to Acquire Publishing Company, 
170 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 
10010. Articles include "GI Collectibles,” 
“The Beer Can Mania," “Collectors” 
Cars” and “What Happened to Bottles?" 
Do they really want to know? 


MAN ACTS 
It's been 40 years since British couples had the pleasure of dancing 
to the strains of the Duke Ellington band. Come this September 9-15, the 
intermission is over as the first Isle of Man jazz festival swings 
to life. Duke will be joined by Woody Herman, Wild Bill Davison, 
the Thad Jones-Mel Lewis Orchestra and the New Orleans 
Preservation Hall Jazz Band, among other American groups; they'll jam 
and joust with а variety of European performers, including the 
Merscysippi Jazz Band and Mr. Acker Bilk. The price for seven days of 
spectacular sounds is $110-$170. and that includes travel from London. 
accommodations. (Write Jazz-Man 78 Ltd., 51а Victoria Street, Douglas, 
Isle of Man.) Sorry, the Isle’s casinos aren't part of the package. 


MC AND MAC 
Awhile back, it was Howdy Doody who 
turned college auditoriums into screaming 
peanut galleries. Now this fall it's Laurel 
and Hardy time as two fine act 
Chuck McCann (the "Hi Guy” in Right 
Guard ads) and Jim MacGeorge, take 
to the stage (and utilize original flm 
footage) to present a whole evening of 
L & Н. For more info, contact Another 
Fine Mess Company, 230 Park Avenue, 
New York. They've done it again, Stanley! 


FOR KENTUCKY-BLUE KILLYS 
So there you are, the king of the mountain, buckled into your best pair 
of Hansons, about to begin a long, graceful schuss to the valley 
below. However, what you're about to ski on isn’t white stuff but good 
old terra firma, and instead of Heads, those Hansons are affixed to. 
a pair of weird-looking skate-board.type contraptions called TurlSkis. 
Manufactured by TurfSki, 976 Highway 22, Somerville, New Jerscy, 
each ski contains seven barrel-shaped rollers set in an arc, with a rear 
skid plate that ensures maximum control. You just pick a grassy 
slope, grab your poles and shove off . . зо to speak. TurfSkis sell 
for $60 a pair without bindings, $60 with; both plus postage. Turf's up! 


SINPOSTS 
Planning a trip to Germany this 

fall? Companionship in West. 

Berlin is only about six marks away 
with Dülk Publishers' Stadtplan 

für Manner (city map for men)— 

a nifty Baedeker to just about every 
naughty diversion your sinful heart 
could desire. Although the guide is 
printed in German, there's almost 
nothing lost in translation, as cartoon 
characters indicate on what byways 
you can expect to find specific types 
of action. A redhead beckoning from an 
open window says there's Bordellbetrieb 
on Munstersche Strasse. Along other 
boulevards of kinky dreams you'll find 
Transvestiten, Homos and, for the 
truly jaded, even a night club mit show. 


CLUSTERS’ FIRST STAND 
"They tried to tell us all the scientific things it’s good for, such 

as illustrating the building principles of nature and grasping 
relationships between objects, but we know Space Clusters (from 
Master-Evans, 100 N. LaSalle Street, Chicago, Illinois 60602) is 
really an intriguing technological toy. For $4, you receive a packet 
of 96 struts and intersects with which you can bend and build 
whachave-yous, letting your enormous creative talent run the 
show. The final configurations are ideal to hang up and stare at. 


NEW BANG FOR A BUCK 
Although the importation and sale 
of Chinese firecrackers came to 
an end this past July Fourth— 
courtesy of Uncle Sam—the demand 
for the large, colorful Oriental cracker 
labels is hotter than ever. To get six 
different 6” x 10” beauties, just send a 
buck to Rothman's, Box 167, Downing- 
town, Pennsylvania 19335. You'll 
receive Werewolf, Big Bomb, Grenade 
and/or other brands—plus a list of 
additional pyrotechnic ephemera 
available from West Germany and 
England. One tradition bites the dust, 
another rises from the ashes. Ka-booml 


YOUR MASCARA IS RUNNING, ED 
If you think rock star Alice Cooper performs 
an animal act onstage, you should have 

seen him prior to showtime frantically 
searching for his eye shadow. But no more. 
Alice has turned entrepreneur and the 
resulting product is Alice Cooper Whiplash 
Mascara, available from Alive Enterprises, 

155 W. 13th Street, New York, New York 
10011, A tube goes for $2.95, plus 50 cents 
postage, and so great has been the response 
that other products are forthcoming. Soon, 
we're told, you'll be able to bubble bathe with 
Alice and, well, there's also an Alice 

Cooper deodorant in the works. Thank God. 


LOVE THY NEIGHBOR 
Now, what would be an appropriate symbol 
for a new swingles’ complex going up on 
Chicago's Near North Side? A stallion? A 
pussycat? A turkey? No, some randy 
genius hit upon a satyr, and why not? Each 
pad will be a sybarite's delight, with 
open-balcony sleeping area and wrought-iron 
spiral staircase. Topside, a Plexiglas-enclosed 
pool with adjacent Bacchus bar will keep the 
goings on wet and wild, Rents at The Satyr are 
expected to range from $250 for astudio to $400 
for a two-bedroom job. But best of all, on 
nights when residents are otherwise sated, there's 
always the Playboy Theater down the street. 


227 


doing some acrodynamic-design studies 
on Pat's Indianapolis cars, we took а 
copy out to his home in Jackson. We just 
wanted him to re and offer his сот. 
ments, He called back the next day and 
said he was so impressed with the idea 
that he'd cover the capitalization." 


PLAYBOY 


n 
Antares new spinoff company, EVI, 
immediately moved into its 25.000 square- 
foot factory in Sterling Heights and be 
gan production. A majority of the young 
staff were Vietnam veterans, working 
on a liberal profit-sharing plan. Within 
months, a number of wildly enthusiastic 
distributors had been signed to handle 
а Süstate area. Most of the sales territory 
is in warm, Southern areas, although de- 
mand for PPVs in the affluent Eastern 
Seaboard suburbs is expected to be brisk. 
Тһе PPV is an impressive machine. 
Light (125 pounds), cheap ($389, fully 
equipped and assembled) and tough 
(space-age plastics), the PPV takes no ех 
perience and a minimum of strength to 
operate. “People can develop about one 
quarter horsepower for long periods and 
up to two horsepower in short burst 
With our transmission, a pair of pedalers 
can run all day, once they've found their 
pace,” says Gates. Rolling along on 20- 
inch tires, two average males can cruisc a 
PPV at 20 mph and can hit nearly 30 with 
frenzied, latout pumping. Operating in 
bottom gear, two men can crest а 15 
percent grade without suffering cardiac 
arrest. Considering its three-wheel con- 
figuration, the PPV is amazingly stable. It 
will generate а cornering force of 8 ¢ 
which is better than most passenger cars. 
Its special drum brake is superb and really 
reckless maneuvering can tilt it up on two 
wheels with no danger of overturning. 
Driving a PPV is something like being 
in a Grand Prix car designed by Schwinn 
The seats are plastic buckets, with raked 
backs that give one the impression of 
being in the ground-hugging cockpit of a 
racing car. The plastic windscreen adds 
to the competition flavor of the machine. 
As in conventional American automo- 
biles, steering is done from the left hand 
seat, which faces a small control handle 
similar to that employed by light aircraft. 
This is gripped by both hands while 
under way and the hefty front-wheel 
drum brake is activated by a lever mou 
ed on the right handle grip of the st 
ing bar. The gearshift lever is mounted, 
sports-car fashion, on a console between 
the wo seats. The passenger faces a solid, 
chromed grab bar on the cowling, which 
is handy during the prodigious cornering 
feats the PPV is capable of accomplishing, 
No matter how sophisticated the PPV's 
system of gears might be, the end product 
of the mechanicaladvantage chain re- 
mains the leg muscles of the passengers, 
228 and there is no sense kidding around 


city uuheels | «uut pon рш 


bout the PPV over 
nd dale can be hard work. While ef- 
‚ the semirecl position is not 
as effective as the upright posture re- 
normal bicycle, and. drivers 
us travel are advised 
to seek out husky passengers. Neverthe- 
less, үн чш normal strength, operat- 
t terrain, such as in 
fantastic time with 
à PPV. It sails along in complete silence, 
save for a subdued, metallic hum from 
the drive chain and the gentle scrubbing 
noises of the three tires against the pave- 
ment. Establishing a cadence between 
driver and passenger as to when to pedal 
and when to coast is simple enough, and 
the sensation is one of freedom and 
motion, 

“We have to keep upgrading our sales 
estimates for the PPV," Rutherford, 
"For a while, we looked at a maximum. 
rly production of 980.000 units. But 
now that seems obsolete, especially with 
European markets beginning to open up. 
What makes this thing really beautiful is 
that it isn't a toy. It works. People of all 
ages can use it for all kinds of errands 
nd short-haul travel and recreation. The 
possibilities were unlimited, we thought, 
before the energy crisis. But now, with 
people predicting that gasoline may 
reach one dollar a gallon in a few ycars, 
the PPV's potential is breath-taking.” 

It is sufficiently breathtaking so that 
several other manufacturers have already 
entered the field. EVI's most serious 
shortterm rival is probably the Envi 
ronmental Tran-Sport Corporation of 
Windsor, Connecticut, which hopes to 
produce its Pedicar for about $500—as 
soon as sufficient financial backing is ob- 
tained. The Pedicar, designed by Robert 
Bundschuh, a 38-year-old aircraft engi 
neer, is а four-wheel twoseater, complete 
а roof (the PPV is open, although 
a surrey top is optional). It utilizes а 
system" (the organ- 
pusher system rejected by Gates), 
ing through а fivespeed trans 
mission. "The Pedicar, due to its great- 
er frontal area, higher rolling resistance 
nd theoretically less efficient’ propul. 
sion method, docs not scem—at initial 
glauce—to be as sophisticated a machine 
as the PPV, but Gates does not 
as а rival. “If they get into production, 
they'll be a factor, but it won't in any way 
affect our goal to become the largest 
light-vehicle manufacturer in the United 
States.” 

Gates and Pocobello have already com- 
pleted the prototype of an electric- 
powered version of their PPV. Four other 
radical, zero-pollution vehicles of various. 
configuration are also under development 
at EVI and Gates candidly admits that 
some will work, some won't, but all will 


be wied. "Like they say, experience 
hard school, but fools learn in no other, 
he muses over the rumble of the assembly 
line beyond the wall. 

While the little band at Antares seems 
to have solved its basic production prob- 
Jems and is preparing to open a second, 
larger m ing facility while think- 
ing in annual outputs, O'Don 
nell would be delighted if his tiny Italian 
factory could provide him with half a 
dozen cars a weck. "Our major problem is 
production,” he says. “During the first 
three years we were in operation, we were 
able to build only 25 cars. We had been 
hoping for that many a month. We had 
unbelievable problems with strikes, labor 
shortages and supply difficulties. The 
Italians are great prototype builders, but 
they don't like steady production worl 
Finally, last September, we had to gather 
up our own group and organize produc- 
tion our own way. Since then, things have 
been improving 

O'Donnell's entry into the car business 
wits through the back door. It rose out of 
the abortive attempt by a group of Indi- 

polis businessmen to resurrect the 
fabled Duesenberg during the middle 
Sixties. Operating in the vanguard of the 
great nostalgia craze, a number of specu 
lators and car freaks decided during that 
period that what America really wanted 
was updated versions of famous but de- 
funct car marques. A Tulsa designer 
created а plasticbodied, Corvair-engine- 
powered version of the Cord (much modi- 
fied, it remains in limited production), 
while others rushed into the market with 
everything from a replica Model A built 
on a pickup-truck chassis to bogus updates 
of Auburn Speedsters and Type 35 Bu- 
ваші, “The Duesenberg firm was in fi- 
nancial trouble from the start and my 
investment firm was called into the case. 
After diligent study of their situation, I 
could sce that the concept had real poten- 
tial, except that their particular operation 
had incurable management and financi: 
problems. What impressed me was the 
number of signed purchase orders from 
important people. It scemed to me that 
the idea of taking an American-built 
chassis and yi i le steel 
coachwork of exclusive design had real 
merit.” 

Operating with h 


head, not his heart, 


O'Donnell created the Stuiz Motor Car 
Company of America with one idea in 
m 


d: to make money. Unenci 
ntimentalit: 
cier’s pragm: 
He immediately engaged two men who 
had been involved in the Duesenberg 
project: Virgil Exner, the former chief 
stylist of Chrysler Corporation. remem- 
bered for his swooping, winged, rococo 
Dodges, DeSotos, Plymouths, Imperials of 
е Fifties known as the Forward 
and Paul Farago, a veteran of 


nbered by 
he set out with a finan- 


PLAYBOY 


Italian-American custom-car construction 
who was responsible for the Dual-Ghia, a 
Dodge hybrid that gained limited cache 
a decade ago when it became standard- 
transport issue for the so-called Rat Pack 
of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy 
Davis Jr, Peter Lawford, et al. After 
O'Donnell had discovered that the Stutz 
label was public property and legally 
made it his own, Farago and Exner creat- 
ed a car under which they would slide the 
trademark. Realizing that the major ex- 
pense of an automobile lies in the drive 
train and chassis, they decided to use the 
Pontiac Grand Prix as the basis for the 
new Stutz. It was chosen, says O'Donnell, 
because of its relatively narrow frame 
rails and the rearward placement of the 
engine, which permits a long, rakish 
hood. One can only speculate how Harry 
C. Stutz would have reacted to his 
name’s being used on a custom-bodied 
Pontiac Grand Prix. His Bearcat twoscat- 
ет open sports car of 1914-1919 is synony- 
mous with the flapper era and remains 
one of the milestone automobiles. When 
the Depression finally destroyed the great 
marque, its Black Hawks and superlative 
DV-32 high-performance, luxury ma- 
chines ranked with the best in the world. 
Today, the few remaining Stutzes are 
among the rarest and most desirable cars 
for wealthy and discriminating collectors. 
In contrast to these marvelous automo- 


biles which featured double overhead 
camshafts, straighteight engine, four- 
speed transmission, centralized chassis lu- 
brication, massive hydraulic brakes, etc, 
the latest version's automotive excellence 
is only labeldeep. The Pontiacs are 
bought in complete, ready.to-drive form 
and shipped to Italy, where O'Donnell's 
crew strips away the Grand Prix body and 
refits a steel version designed by Exner 
and overseen by Farago. Aside from the 
attachment of Koni shocks, new wheels 
and tires, precious little is donc with the 
original General Motors hardware. In 
fact, Federal emission regulations forbid 
tampering with the stock 455-cubicinch 
Pontiac engine, and the G.M. Turbohy- 
dramatic automatic transmission is excel- 
lent as it is, so that, too, is left stock. In 
essence, all the basic mechanical compo- 
nents of the Stutz are pure, undistilled 
Pontiac. 

The body itself, which utilizes Pontiac 
window lifting mechanisms, door hinges 
and latches, window glass, instrumenta- 
tion, air conditioning, etc., is well made 
of heavy-gauge steel, with the proper 
amount of traditional Italian coachbuild- 
er's attention to detail, including superb 
English-leather upholstery and а multi- 
coat lacquer paint job. The styling itself 
is debatable, both in taste and in execu- 
tion. Because many of the inner panels of 
the original Grand Prix have been re- 


tained, it has been difficult for Exner to 
conceal the original overall contours 
created by C.M. chief stylist William 
Mitchell and his staff. He has, however, 
succeeded in adding a number of organic 
accent lines and filigrees, so that at first 
glance one is given the impression that 
the new Stutz has been molded from ice 
cre: 
fluvia as fake exhaust pipes beneath the 
doorsills add to the over-all impression 
that the Stuizis a rich man's answer to the 
Kalifornia Kustom Kar Kraze. O'Donnell 
aying that his car has "an Ital- 
h an American heart" and 
justifies the use of so many G.M. compo- 
nents on the basis that designing and 
building an original engine, transmission, 
etc, alla Lamborghini or Ferrari, would 
be prohibitively expensive. “Besides, un- 
der our system, a Sturz owner can have his 
car serviced at any Pontiac dealership and 
it gives а billion-dollar parts inventory 
without any expenditure on our part.” 
This close relationship with General 
Motors has an added bonus: Should you 
want to find out what it is like to drive a 
Stutz, a road test is no farther away than 
your nearest Pontiac dealer. A drive 
around the block in a new Grand Prix 
will give you a reasonable impression, al- 
though the added bulk of the Stutz— 
much of which is insulation and sound- 
deadening material—makes O'Donnell's 


m and is beginning to melt. Such ef- 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


device seem more sumptuous. The 
daimed weight is in the neighborhood of 
4500 pounds, but the car creates a feeling 
of the inert bulk of perhaps three tons. It 
is quiet and the thick odor of the English 
leather and the lacquered wood paneling 
give one an initial impression of luxury, 
but this elegance is slogging along on the 
suspension of a mass-produced Detroit 
with the inherent limitations of this 
ively primitive species. The addition 
of high-priced shock absorbers and first- 
class tires cannot conceal the reality that 
the Stutz is sluggish and clumsy wh: 
compared with the thoroughbreds in its 
price range. 

With the present instability of the dol- 
lar, a new Stutz will cost you nearly 
$30,000. Over 100 have been delivered in 
the United States, while several others 
have been delivered in Europe and the 
Middle East. However, over 90 percent of 
all Stutzes have been sold in Los Angeles, 
the nutball car capital of the world 
Ther, Jules Meyers, a bright, hard- 
hitting young car dealer, takes his allot- 
ment of the cars and makes them even 
more claborate than O'Donnell's original. 
He spends an extra 55000-58000 on care- 
fully modifying thc engine for addition- 
al smoothness and power, improving the 
suspension, adding thicker insulation, 
plus some 14-kt-gold interior trim and a 
leather sparc-tire cover. One might think 


т 


that this addition of frosting to the fruit- 
cake would make the dessert too sweet 
for anybody's taste, but recently, Meyers 
claimed that he had 67 orders for new 
Stutzes, cach with a $10,000 deposit. Most 
of those sold have been purchased by the 
Hollywood showbiz crowd—a group hard- 
ly renowned for its taste. Stutz press re- 
leases constantly harp on the fact that 
such celebs as Flvis Presley, Dick Martin, 
Lucille Ball, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis 
Jz. Robert Goulet and Arthur Willey, Jr. 
¢x-director of Lubrizol Corporation, are 
owners. After the Dual-Ghia passed out of 
fashion, the Hollywood crowd glommed 
onto the Excalibur, a quasi reproduction 
of the SSK Mercedes-Benz, for its status 
vehicle, then leaped into Mercedes-Benz 
2508L sports cars for a while. Now the 
trendies are driving Stutzes, not bec 
the Stutz has any particukuly redeeming 
features as an automobile but bec 
is exclusive, ostentatious and exp 
Anyone who understands the strange 
workings of status in Hollywood can 
see that Dean Martin and the Stutz 
mate like di rings and 
white-onawhite shirts. With Rolls-Royce 
and Bentley expected to produce nearly 
2800 cars this year, thereby reducing 
their exclusivity, and Ferraris difficult 
for a nonexpert to drive, and everybody 
owning a Mercedes-Benz, what is one to 
do—aside from buying a Stutz? 


The Stutz is the Hollywood cult car of 
the hour, and for O'Donnell, that is all he 
needs. He has the field to himself at the 
present time, aside from the limited 
threat imposed by something called the 
Bugazzi—a gussied-up Lincoln Continen- 
tal Mark IV, being manufactured in 
minute quantities in Hollywood by an 
organization called California Show Cars. 
Despite his protests that his Stulz is a 
completely original car fabricated with 
uncompromisiny 

the finest materials, O'Donnell is а per- 
ceptive man who understands that true 
quality is a strange amalgam of tradition 
nd craftsmanship, and that his с 
‘American heart” badly compromises hı 
product. But he is a businessman, not a 
car connoisseur, and his automobile is 
perfectly aimed at a specific market. 

So Jim O'Donnell and Don Gates are 
forging ahead in their own distinct worlds 
of automotive extremism, which is а de- 
batable virtue but, on the other hand, is 
hardly а vice. Each understands that no 
matter how far the ma t standard- 
ization is carried, there will be those 
who will continue to seck—even crave— 
vehicles that are unique, if nothing else. 
As long as we have wheels, man will be 
coming up with offbeat conveyances to 


roll on them. 


Natural Menthol 
Blend 


(means naturally fresh taste) 


Und? 


-— 


Salem's unique blend features natural 
menthol, not the kind made in labo- 
ratories, Like cur superb tobaccos. 
‘our menthol is naturally grown. 

You'll get а taste that’s not harsh 


or hot... ataste as naturally cool 
and fresh as Springtime. 


» 


PLAYHBO 


232 


and Rudy Green, both of whom 
ed blockers. 
e of Dartmouth from its ac- 
customed place as preseason Ivy favor- 
itc is explained by the graduation of 15 
starters. Although the Big Green are cry- 
ing poverty, we are skeptical. It's true that 
the quarterbacking will be unexceptional 
and the defensive line will be conspicu- 
ously lean, but many of the incoming 
sophomores are extremely good football 
players. Also, Jake Crouthamel is a сарсу 
coach and—best of all—the Indians play 
Penn, Yale and Cornell in Hanover. 

The Columbia passing attack 
probably be its only major strength in 
1973. New quarterback. Jose Rios, a trans- 
fer from Miami (Florida), who looks like 
а gem, will be throwing to supersoph re- 
ceiver Dexter Brown and tight end Mike 
Telep. The Lions’ offensive line will be 
anchored by huge (255 pounds) center 
Jorge Rodriguez. 

Brown will be the most improved team 
in the Ivy League, but that's not saying 


(continued from page 17) 


much, It’s won only one game in the 
past two seasons. Still, new coach John 
Anderson will have more talent at his dis- 
posal than has blessed the Brown squad 
in many years, including an impressive 


collection of sophomore linemen and daz- 
aling runner Hubie Morgan. 
Princeton has been in the doldrums for 


several seasons, and this year looks no bet- 
ter. Defensive depth will again be the 
major problem. At least the offense, with 
sophomore halfhacks Bob Reid and 
Kevin Kaufman, will score more points 
n last year. 

Harvard will have an outstanding col- 
lection of sophomores (especially 6/5", 
250-pound offensive tackle Dan Jiggetts) 
but not much of anything else. The entire 
offensive backficld and nearly the whole 
defensive unit graduated, so the Crimson 
will switch to a ball-control strategy and 
hope for the best. 

Delaware will again dominate the 
smaller Eastern schools. The only dif- 
ference, as the Hens try for their 
third consecutive college-div i 


“Well, Рт not sending him any thank-you 
note, if that's what you mean!” 


al championship, is that their strong suit 
will be offense. 

Alter spring practice, Holy Cross coach 
Ed Doherty seemed happy with his d 
es lor the first time in years. If the Cru 
saders cam assemble a decent offensive 
line, they'll have their best season 


na 


decade. Nine freshmen lettered last sea- 
son, so there will be some good young 
talent on hand. Also, two incoming Ircsh- 
men, def 


aive end Dave Frenette and 
fark Cannon, are good enough 
ad safety. John 
kle Lou Kobza 


Rookie coach Paul Kemp has taken 
Boston University team that won 
only two games in '72 because of inc 
p па leth 
will remain this fall. Sixteen starters re- 
turn and during spring practice, Kemp 
knocked heads together with such intensi- 
ty thar fistfights broke out. All this lethal 
enthusiasm will likely produce a winning 
season. Rutgers will have more good 
players than in many years, especially 
runner Jim Jennings, who appears to be 
the best athlete on campus since Alex 
Kroll graduated. However, Rutgers’ 
schedule may preclude improvement over 
last year's 7-4 record. 

Temple suffered severe offensive grad 
uation losses, but the replacements are 
Пу quarterback Steve 
п, а transfer from Penn State. If a 
good defensive unir can hold ont until 
the offense jells, the Owls will finish 
strong. Colgate claims to have the best 
wishbone quarterback in the nation in 
"Tom Parr. If their soso defense—return- 
ing virtually intact—improves enough, 
Parr and strong fullback Mark van 
Eeghen won't have to score more than 30 
points in order to win a game. 

Lehigh was one of the more improved 
teams in the East in 1972 and, with quar- 
terback Kim McQuilken returning. it 
will be even stronger this season. With 
one more year to play, McQuilken already 
holds every Lehigh passing record. 

Both Gettysburg and Bucknell hope 
their young defensive units сап mature 
quickly enough for them to win some 
games. Lafayette will be much improved, 
because the Leopards will finally have a 


decent passing game to go with the daz 
ding running of Tony Giglio. 


x years, will f 
Big Ten championship in the final game 
of the season. Both squads arc deep in 
lent, experience, speed, size and good 
coaching, and both will probably enter 

showdown game without a loss. It 
will be played in Aan Arbor, which, if 


Michigan scems to have one important 


advantage over Ohio State: quarterback 
Dennis Franklin. He will throw more 
often this year and, with a good set of re- 
ceivers, led by tight end Paul Seal, should 
be devastating. At Ohio State, incumbent 
quarterback Greg Hare is being pressed 
by sophomore Cornelius Greene. Going 
wach Woody Hayes de- 
clares the job still open. If Woody gives 
the position to Greene, the Buckeyes will 
have one of the youngest starting back- 
fields in the country, with junior Harold 
Henson at fullback and sophomores Ar- 
chie Griffin and Brian Baschnagel as the 
running backs. The Buckeye running 
attack, as usual, will be fearsome, but 
Michigan's two prodigious fullbacks, Ed 
Shuulcsworil and Bob Thornblidh, will 
make the Wolverines nearly as overpower- 
ing on the ground as the Buckeyes. The 
defensive units of both squads are built 


athlete on cither team, though, is PLAYBOY 
offen lineman John 
Ohio State. 


THE MIDWEST 


BIG TEN 


1140 Indiana 
9-1 Michigan 
6-5 State 
6-5 Minnesota 

3 6-5 Northwestern 
Wisconsin 5-6 


MID-AMERICAN CONFERENCE 


Northern Miami 
їп 10-1 Western 

Toledo 92 Michigan 

Bowing Green 7-3 Оно 

Kent State 74 University 


INDEPENDENTS: 


9-1 Xavier 
6-5 — Dayton 
56 


Michigan 
Olio State 


2-8 


Notre Dame 
Marshall 
Cincinnati 


4 
55 


TOP PLAYERS: Seal, Gallagher, Shuttles- 
worth, Brown, Franklin (Michigan); Gredi- 
shar, Hicks, Henson, Griffin, Baschnagel 
(Ohio State); Penney, Douthitt, Jackson 
(lowa); Roberson, Perrin, Kogut, Uremo- 
vich (Illinois); Capria, Pruitt, Peterson 
(Purdue); Webster, Lick (Wisconsin); Barzi- 
lauskas, Sukurs, Buckner (Indiana); Simp- 
son, Shinsky, Brown, Nester (Michigan 
State); King, Herkenhoff, Simons (Minne- 
Sote); Craig, Varty, Boykin (Northwestern); 
Kellar (Northern Illinois); Swick (Toledo); 
Miles, Polak (Bowling Green); Lambert, Kokal 
(Kent State); Hitchens (Miami); Riggio, 
Cates (Western Michigan); Bevly (Ohio 
University); Casper, Pomerico, Townsend, 
Neihaus (Notre Dame); Henry (Marshall); 
Harrison (Cincinnati); Dydo (Xavier). 


Jowa coach Frank Lauterbur say 
progress was made in spring [ 
toward rebuildir offensive linc. IE 
his assessment is correct, the Hawkeyes 
will enjoy their first winning season since 
1961. They have a wealth of good runners 
and Butch Caldwell appears capable of 
providing consistent quarterbacking, an 


“Screwed any good light bulbs lately, Ed?” 


element that was missing in 1972. Filtecn 
freshmen saw much action last season. 
Among these, the most pleasant surprise 
was walk-on lineba 


. He and end I 


a formidable defensive unit, So Towa 
should be a powerhouse next year, if the 
any indication. 


е listed number опе 


and Mlinois will be 
much improved. Fach school has а num- 
ber of talented freshmen and few gradua- 
tion losses. Nine of Wisconsin's offensive 
starters гейип, giving the Badgers a 
rugged. seasoned line to protect new pass- 
er Gregg Bohilig, who is also an clusive 
runner. He will be helped by supersoph 
runner Billy Marck. A freshman receiver, 
Randy Rose, looks like a sure bet to be a 
starter his first year. A strong group of 
sophomores, best of whom is tackle Terry 
Stieve, will more than make up for defen- 
¢ losses. The Badgers play some of the 
nation's top teams this year (Colorado, 
Nebraska, Ohio State and Michigan). 
Don't be surprised if they beat one or two 
of them. 

Coach Bob Blackman seems finally to 


have completed his rebuilding job at Ii- 
nois. Except for quarterback Mike Wells 
and defensive end Tab Bennett, there 
were no serious graduation losses. Tom 
McCartney, Wells's heir apparent, will 
face severe competition from sophomores 
m Kopatz and Terry Ormsbee and 
n Mike McCray, a prep All- 
а from South Bend, Indiana, who 
somehow got away from Ara P; 
Halfbacks Lonnie Per 
Uremovich will provide а forceful run- 
ning attack, with much help from rookies 
Steve Greene and Tracy Campbell. The 
ine may be weak, but gigantic 
260 pounds and still grow 
freshman tackle John DiFel 
could provide the needed help. 11 
schedul relaxed compared with 
the past two seasons’, so it should c 
first winning s 
Few teams have suffered such severe 
graduation losses as Purdue did last 
spring. Fifteen starters have departed, 
cight of whom were taken in the first 
rounds of the N.E.L. draft. This 
squad is green but talented, and 
coach Alex Agase is a master at get- 
ting the most from limited material. It 
boggles the mind to consider what Agase 233 


PLAYBOY 


could have done at Purdue had he been 
its coach last season, but the Purdue cam- 
pus is a talent magnet and it should 
Agase no more than three years to cap- 
ture the Big Ten championship. 
Indiana's 1972 Gunpaign was wrecked 
by a midseason injury to quarterback 
"Ted McNulty. New coach Lee Corso has 
no fewer than seven promising cand 
dates for McNulty's job this усаг. Best of 
the group appear to be 6/4” Willie Jones 
and freshman Terry Jones, both of whom 
will fit perfectly into Corso's pro-style of- 
fense. Runners Ken Starling and Ken St. 
Picrre are Gtpable, also, so the Hoosier 
will have little trouble mov ing the ba 
"The defense will be questionable, except 
for two massive linemen, Carl Barzilaus- 
kas and Greg Me ‚ and Quinn Buck- 
ner, who was one of the best safeties in 
the country last yea reshman. Four 
members of a windfall freshman class, de- 


rasa 


fei 'e linemen D: Knowles and Elmer 
Burton, linebacker Robert Roberts and 
defensive back Phil Yancey, are good 


cnough to be immediate starters. Under 
Corso, Indiana will be a daring, loose, 
tertaining team. Corso has a reputation 
for being a bit flaky, because he is а color- 
ful, spontaneous coach with a tendency to 
try something unexpected. But his gam- 
bles have a way of paying off and he'll 
make some big waves during his first year 
in the Big Ten 
Graduation depleted both Michigan 
State lines. On offense, that was no great 
loss. The new front wall, even though 
inexperienced, will be better than the old 
one. The same goes for the new coach, 
Denny Stolz. But unless some of last sea- 
son's reserves mature quickly, the defe 
sive line will be weak and undermanned, 
State's running game will be built around 
David "Indiana" Brown and the Spartans 
will at last have а dependable passer in 
Baggett. pLaysoy All-Americ 
mpson will give the Spartans excel- 
lent punting. They'll need it. 
Minnesota will field an even yo 
team than in 1972—when it was the 


youngest in the league—because many 
freshmen and sophomores are good 


"ough to beat out older reserves. Of- 
nsively, rookie John Lawing has the in- 
side track at quarterback and runner 
Rick Upchurch, a junior college transfer, 
will add blazing outside speed to fullback 
' inside power. King, working 
huge and agile | 
for much of the Gopher oflense. Since 
many of the squad's positions will be 
filled by freshmen (the recruiting cam- 
paign last winter was the most successful 
a school history), miscues may be a ma- 
jor problem; but look for the Gophers 
10 come on the season. 

An inexperienced defense undid 
Northwestern last fall, and the situation 
won't be much better this year. New 
coach John Pont will search the incoming 


234 freshmen for speedy feet to help the thin, 


young line. The offense, however, could 
be as powerful as any scen in Evanston 
since Ara Parseghian departed. Last fall's 
two running sensations, Greg Boykin and 
Jim Trimble, return and will be joined 
by sophomore Rich Boothe, who could 
turn out to be the best of all. Mitch An- 
derson, one of the better passers in the 
league, will team with tight end Steve 
Craig to give the Wildcats a productive 
pass attack. One thing for sure, North- 
tern will be an entertaining team to 
watch. Pont is always willing to gamble 
and surprise plays are part of h 
plan. It should be a fun year, 
п Dyche Stadium, 
‘This is Norther 


Illinois” first ye: 
the Mid n Conference, and the 
Huskies, with plenty of seasoned talent, 
should win it, One thing helping them is 
the fact that they play neither of the 
AMLA.C.s other favorites, Kent State or 
Toledo, The Huskies’ main offensive 
weapon will be Mark Kellar, a 232 
pound fullback. 

Toledo, after а year of rebuilding, is 
back in the thick of the M.A.C. cham- 

ionship fight, since last years major 
bility. inexperience, has been helped 
simply by the aging process. Bowling 
Green will have a senior-dominated team. 
Unless last season's anemic passing attack 
сап be fixed, tailback Paul Miles will 
provide most of the offe 

Kent State will be as strong as last sea- 
ing team, b 


stronger. Greg Kokal. an outstanding 
quarterback as a freshman, has presuma- 
bly improved with age and Olympic gold- 
medal winner Gerald Tink 

provide a large share of the thrills with 
his br 


nt тейи 
has had four агт 7-3 sea- 
sons, but the fans are muttering because 
the Redskins can't seem to nail down a 
Conference championship. This year, 
5 top runner Bob Hitchens, 
terbad 
cin both run and pass. 
gan's success will depend on an offensive 
line that was annihilated by graduation. 
ack Larry Cates looks like the 
league's best, Ohio University, thin at 
most every position, is overscheduled 
against such teams as Northwestern, 
South Carolina and Pen: The first 
stringers are good enough to make a run 
for the Conference championship, but a 
few injuries will destroy any chance. If 
the Ohio schedulers are going to throw 
their athletes to the Lions (Nittany), they 
should ide reinforcement: 
asy schedule and more talent 
go. it will be a major disaster 
if Nowe Dame loses more than one game. 
The Irish will have more running speed 


than in the past six years and a superb of- 
fensive anchored by PLaynoy All- 
Americas Frank Pomarico and Dave 


Casper, will give 


1 those runners plenty 


of daylight. Casper, the best athlete on 
the team, can play any position in the of- 
fensive or defensive line, but will probi- 
bly spend the season at offensive tackle 
and tight end. Tom Clements, a good 
rollout quarterback, should be much 
improved with a year’s experience. How- 
ever, defense, last year's weakness due to 
injuries, is still a problem. If a few fresh 
men can break into the line-up like awe- 
some tackle Steve Neihaus did last year, 
the Irish will have a shot at the national 
championship. 

It will be three years this November 
since the air crash that killed most mem- 
bers of the Marshall football team, so this 
year’s seniors are the freshmen who car. 
ried on after the tragedy. They will still 
be a young squad, but some fine freshmen 
should provide the depth so painfully 
lacking the past three years. With a little 
luck, the Thundering Herd could have 
а winning season. Xavier, with added 
depth, should avoid last year's crippling 
injuries. The major problem is to put to- 
gether an offen 
‘Tim Dydo. New coa 
over a Cincin; 
ited and lethargic and its transform: 
in spring practice was ne 
Available talent is respectable and the 
schedule is less backbreaking than а у 
ago. so Cincinnati should show vast im- 
provement in Mason's first season. 

The Dayton Flyers, who have histori- 
cally ignored the pass, will now feature 
am acrial-minded, pro-set and veer offense 
installed by new coach Ron Marciniak. 

This should be the big year that Flori 
da fans have been waiting for since Doug 
Dickey returned to coach at his alma 
mater three years ago. The Gators were a 
very young team in 79, starting nine soph- 
res and two freshmen, But they were 
also talented, some ingenuous mistakes 
notwithstanding; better, in fact, than scv- 
teams that have gone to bowl 
games. This year, 38 of last season's top 44 
players return. The offense will again be 
led by phenomenal Nat Moore, a PLavnoy 
All-America who seems to run sideway 
fast as forward. The defensive unit will 
be very tough, so if some adeq 
ers сап be found and freshman runners 
Alvin Cowans, Larry Brinson and Robert 
Morgan can relieve the pressure on 
Moore, Florida should be the best team 
n the South. With this likely prospect 
n mind, we've chosen coach Dickey as 
rtAYBoY's 1973 Coach of the Year for his 
masterful rebuilding job. 

Unyielding defensive platoons arc a 
tradition at Tennessee. No one can re 
member when defense was a Vol wcak- 
ness, but that appeared to be the cise 
during spring practice as several young 
pl: who were supposed to replace the 
seven graduated defensive starters failed 


ve line to protect passer 
ich Tony Mason took 
n that was dispir- 
ion 


ati tea 


е receiv- 


to come through. Fortunately, the olfen 


sive u 


t was proportionately improved, 


Hitachi brings automat 
Чо cassette reco 


The difference between Hitachi's 


e 
ing. 


Athree-digit tape counter. So 


TRQ-340 cassette recorder and теа а Тууу know exactly how far along the tape 


types is the difference between automatic 
and stick shift. 

Hitachi's new TRQ-340 runs on two 
motors instead of one so you can perform 
instant review and cue. 

_ For instance, if you want to review a 
Portion of the tape you just press rewind. 
пеп you release it, play continues. No need 
to press the stop button. No need to re-press 
the play button. 

Simple. And to make it even easier, the 
buttons are placed in logical order. 

The new TRQ-340 gives you alot of 
other features you'd expect on much larger 
and higher priced machines. E 

ike durable ferrite heads, the kind 
you find on expensive tape decks. 

A built-in Sensimatic condensor micro- 
phone that picks up even faint sounds. 

Hitachi's Levelmatic for perfect auto- 
matic recording level control. 

An Auto Stop which cuts off both the 
drive mechanism and power at the end 
of the tape. 

Apause button which keeps the 


motor running so the tape starts instantly A 


once the pause button is released. 
A X-inch output jack so you can 
use headphones. 


you are. 
A" Kangaroo 
loading. And a 151 
out "tinny" sound. 
Ask for a demonstration of the new 
TRQ-340 and other Hitachi recorders at your 
local dealer's, Or write for information: 
Dept. P-5, Hitachi Sales Corporation of " 
America, 48-50 34th Street, Long Island City, 
New York 11101. 
Quality always comes first at 


HITACHI 


uch” for easy cassette 
milliwatt amplifier to cut 


"The Hitechi 
TRQ-340.The. 
tape recorder 
with instant re- 
play. It sells for 

under $90. But it 
works like the expen- 
sive models. 


PLAYBOY 


236 


all of which means there should be 
some high-scoring games in Knoxville 
this fall, rAvnov All-America runner 
Haskel Stanback and versatile quarter- 
back Condredge Holloway lead a deep 
and skilled offense. There is an impres- 
sive assortment of runners behind § 
back, the best receiving corps in years and 
an improved offensive line. If the defense 
can be patched in fall practice, the Vols 
could be unbeatable. 

If Alab is to repeat last year's 
championship season, coach Bear Bryant 
will have to find replacements for the 
core of his offensive line, his quarterback 
and three fourths of his defensive second- 
ary. Three fine passers (Gary Rutledge, 
Robert Fraley and Richard Todd) 
showed up in spring practice, with Rut- 
ledge emerging as the slight favorite to 
win the starting berth. Whoever does the 
throwing will have topgrade receiver 
‘The Bear says split end Wayne Wheeler 
is one of the best anywhere, and super- 
soph tight end George Pugh could be the 
most pleasant surprise of the year. An e 
citing new runner, Willie Shelby, will add 
zip to an already strong ground game so 


the major problem arca as fall practice 
h, 


opens is the defensive secondary, wh 


according to the Bear, “is where you w 


or lose games. 

How can a team graduate 1 
and still be as strong as ever? It mi 
Louisiana State's depth. LSU 
good foviball players t g 
even passer Bert Jones may not be 
missed, because the two quarterbacks 
fighting for his job, Mike Miley and Billy 
Broussard, have the potential to be as 


, amazing- 


good as he is. Unlike Jones, however, 
both Miley and Broussard are sprint-out 
quarterbacks, so the oflense will have to 
Пе somewhat reprogramed for them. 
Coach Charley McClendon compares tail- 
back Brad Davis (a straight 4.0 student, 
incidentally) to former LSU great Jimmy 
Taylor. A sleeper on the Tiger squad 
could be splithatk Norm Hodgins, who 
was switched from the defensive backfield 
and was spectacular during spring prac- 
tice. The defense, keyed by sterling line 
backers Warren Capone and Bo Harris 
and cornerback Mike Williams, will be 
even stronger than last year's solid team. 

Ole Miss will feature two exceptionally 
talented quarterbacks whose combined 
talents should make the Rebs’ offense 
dangerous in any situation, Norris Weese 
a great runner and a good passer. 
Kenny Lyons is a great passer and а good 
runner. Their top receivers, split end Bill 
Malouf and praynoy All-America tight 
end Butch Veazey, are spectacular. Rob- 
ert "Gentle Ben” Williams is a superb de- 
fensive tackle, the first black to play for 
Ole Miss. Williams lettered last year 
freshman and is a certain supersta 
injuries can be avoided, Mi 
be a factor in the S.E.C. championship 
race. 

Georgia will enjoy a vital asset that was 
g last season: an experienced of 
fensive line. It will block for a splendid 
backfield, including quarterback Andy 
Johnson and runners Jimmy Poulos and 
Horace King, and if Johnson should fal 
ter, fabulous freshman passer Ray Goff 
can take over. 

Last year, Auburn surprised the football 


“Do you have a Chinatown?” 


world with a 10-1 season. Its success 
formula consisted of (A) an amazingly el. 
fective transition from a pas 


THE SOUTH 
SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE 
Florida 11-0 Georgia 6-5 
Tennessee 10-1 Auburn 47 
Alabama. 10-1 Mississippi St. 5-5 
Louisiana St. 7-4 Vanderbilt 6-5 
Mississippi 74 Кешу — 4-7 
ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE 
North Carolina Virginia 65 
State 8-3 Duke 56 
Maryland 7-4 Clemson 3-8 
North Carolina 6-5 Маке Forest 2-9 
‘SOUTHERN CONFERENCE 
East Carolina 9-2 Furman $5 
Richmond 7-3 The Citadel 4-7 

William & Virginia 

Mary 65 Military 2% 
Appalachian Davidson 28 

State 6-5 

INDEPENDENTS 

Georgia Tech 8-3 Southern 
Tulare 65 Mississippi 
Miami 6-5 Virginia Tech 
South Caroling 6-5 — Florida State 
Tamra 9-2 Chattanooga 


(Kentucky); Yoest, Burden, Fritts (North 
Carolina State) Vellano, White, Carter 
(Maryland); Pratt, Vidnovic (North Carolina); 
Ambrose, Glassic, Merritt (Virginia); Corders, 
Clark, Snyder (Duke); Williamson, Pengi- 
tore (Clemson); Ramsey, Hardin, Harsh 
(Wake Forest); Crumpler’ (East Carolina): 
Smith (Richmond); Montgomery (William & 
Магу); Haugabrook (Appalachian State); 
Griffin (Furman); Dean (The Citadel); 
Schultze (Virginia Military); Walker (David- 
son); Rhino, Robinson, Stevens (Georgia 
Tech); Hall, Foley (Tulane); Cristiani, Har- 
Jah, Carter (Miami) Carpenter, Grantz 
(South Carolina); Wakefield, — Solomon 
Tange), Cook, Orange (Southern Mississip- 
pi); Shirley (Virginia Tech); Mitchell, Spark 
тап (Florida State); Brokas (Chattanooga). 


running offense, built around no-name 
players, (B) а typically lean and hungry 
defense, (C) good kicking and (D) a year 
free of costly errors or crippling injuries. 
This year, the most notable no-name 
(runner Terry Henley) has graduated 
have most of his better blockers and both 
regular kickers. The defense, with the 
best linebackers in the league, will again 
be rugged, but the Tigers will have to re- 
peat last year’s avoidance of errors and in. 
juries to have another winning year. We 
fear the odds are against them. In fact, 
their schedule is so murderous that the 
‘Tigers could finish with fewer wins than 
some weaker S.F.C. teams. 

Mississippi happy dilemma in 


5 


Converse Coach and Jack Purcell. 
Forguys who want to keep playing 


after the game is over. 

Converse has built a reputation too. And a great tennis shoe like Jack 
for making great athletic shoes for the ^ Purcell, that feels just as at home 
greatest athletes in the world. partying as playing tennis. 

And that's the idea behind our Two tough-playing, sharp-looking 
Converse Coach and Jack Purcell. leisure time shoes from Converse. 
Great performers. But they look Because some guys are out to build a 
great, too. reputation for themselves. 


A terrific all-around athletic shoe Converse Coach and Jack Purcell. 


like Coach (right), that looks good 
enough to play the field off the field, ж CONVERSE o 


Introducing 


The Silent Language 

Sexual attraction is communicated not by 
words but by "body language." What 
are these telltale signs? 


Positions for the Adventurous 

Here are beautifully illustrated ways to 
introduce a new excitement into Jove- 
making. 


Must Friendship Lead to Sex? 

Is there really such a thing as “platonic 
friendship” between the sexes? Does 
close friendship between a man and a 
woman always lead to bed? The answer 
may surprise you 


The Art of Kissing 

A kiss can be many things, from a sign 
of affection to a highly erotic act. What 
is the art of kissing? 


How Permissive is the 

Permissive Society? 

Changing attitudes are calling for fresh 
approaches to moral problems. Sex be- 
fore marriage is now common and ac- 
cepted. But are other changes as great 
as we think? 


The Psychology of Orgasm 

Is orgasm a simple matter of physical 
slimulation—or is it more? How far do 
emotions control our orgasms? 


Can a Man Love Two Women? 

Is i! possible for a man to be in lave with 
two women at the same time, or must he 
be deceiving himself? 


Sexual Capacity 

No one has a "normal" sex life. Sexuality 
varies; near-abstinence for one may be 
satisfaction for another. 


the most frank and revealing 
pictorial library of the sexual 
and psychological aspects of 
love and adult relationships. 


The Sensuous Lover 

Imagination, initiative, and a sense of 
adventure are the most effective aphro- 
disiacs. How can a person acquire the 
skill that will make him or her a confident 
Sensuous lover? 


The Man Who Needsa Mistress 

The dilemma of a man who feels com- 
pelled to seek escape in an extramarital 
affair. 


Girls Who Tease 

Why do they do it? An eminent psychia- 
trist explains what motivates them and 
what teasing can lead to sexually and 
psychologically. 


How to Cope with a Jealous Mate 

A jealous person's fears may be irra- 
tional. Yet,if not allayed,they can destroy 
a relationship. 


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PLAYBOY 


240 


1972—having to choose between two su- 
perb sophomore quarterbacks has been 
solved by new coach Bob Tyler. Since 
Rockey Felker is a great passer and Melvin 
Barkum is a great anything, Barkum has 
become a combination tailback and wide 
receiver, where his multifaceted talents 
сап be fully utilized. Look lor him to hurt 
opponents, not only with his receiving 
and running but also with a few halfback 
passes. So the Bulldogs, with fullback 
Wayne Jones and a fine group of re- 
ceivers, will field a very good offense. 
Almost all the defensive unit, especially 
the backfield, graduated, but there are 
some freshmen who шау provide ше 
necessary manpower. 

Vanderbilt and. Kentucky have much 
in common. They are the traditional 
Southeastern Conference door mats. Last 
season, both sullered through 3-8 seasons 
and both begin this season with young 
new coaches bearing fabled reputations. 
Both Fran Curci of Kentucky and Steve 
Sloan of Vanderbilt had bountiful re 
cruiting seasons, which means that sever- 
al fr me action. 

Пе new look at Vanderbilt. the only 
hon-state-supported school in the S.E.C., 
will be especially apparent. For years, 
it has tried to field a competitive foot- 
ball team on the cheap. But Sloan 
agreed to accept the coaching job only if 
he got adequate financial and recruiting 
support, amd he's getting it. So Sloan 
could make a big splash his first year. His 
squad will be young (at least ten starters 
will be sophomores or freshmen), but it 
will have more talent and depth than any 
Commodore team in years. Two sopho- 
mores (nose guard Tom Galbierz and 
runner Lonnie Sadler) and two freshmen 
(center Paul Palumbo and runner Adolph 
Groves) show promise of future greatness. 

The Atlantic Coast Conference is rap- 
idly regaining lost respectability. The 
whole Conference will again be stronger 
this season, but the relative positions of 
the teams won't change much: When the 
poor get richer, so do tl orth Car- 
olina State will still be the dass team of 
the Conference. Thirty four of the top 44 
players who walloped West Virginia in 
the Peach Bowl retu he effectiveness 
of the offense depends on whether last 
year’s sensational freshman quarterback, 
Dave Bud recov from а detached 
retina suffered in spring practice, А su- 
perb offensive line, led by Bill Yoest and 
Rick Druschel, should open enough holes 
to give runner Willie Burden a chance 
10 compete for All America status. The 
Wollpack schedule features such intersec- 
powers as Nebraska, Penn State 
and Georgia, however, so it will be dilh- 
cult to improve on last season's record. 

Coach Jerry Claiborne is in the midst 
tly miraculous job of turning 
yland’s football team into a winner. 
The Terps were mired in lethargy and 

"difference for years before Claiborne 


motivational 
ion 


took over a r ago, and I 
ability and his penchant for organiza 
and hard work have infected the whole 
squad. Besides enthusiasm, the ‘Terps 


Kevin Benson and runner 
ngs) and two superb freshunci 
backer Ralph Fisher and qu 
Lamy Dick) to join a veteran squad. If 
the inexperienced offensive line comes 
around carly cnough, the Terps will 
enjoy their best season in decades. 

North Carolina will be somew! 
weaker this year, since 13 starters, includ- 
ing six All-Conference players, have de- 
parted, The offensive line was especially 
impoverished by graduation. Even so, 
the Tarheels will depend largely on 
passing attack featuring quarterback Nick 
Vidnovic and receivers Jimmy Jerome 
and Ted Leverenz. 

Virginia coach Don Lawrence has been 
stockpiling talent [or the past two years, 
but an erratic offense that’s been som 
times great, sometimes dreadful has kept 
the Cavaliers from achieving their poten 
tial. However, Li ered the 
best crop of recruits in the league last 
winter (he considers 17 of h 
to be bluechip athletes), so look for 
freshmen to displace some of the 17 re- 
turning starters. Freshman passer Scott 
Gardner looks like a future star and jun- 
ior linebacker Dick Ambrose could reach 
that status this ycar. 

With three strong recruiting у 
under his belt, Duke coach. Mike McGee 
will field his strongest team since coming 
to Durham. But the schedule is so tough 
that fans might not notice the improve- 
ment. They will notice Maurice Corder 
xantic rookie defensive tackle who is 
destined for greatness. 

New coaches Red Parker at Clemson 
and Chuck Mills at Wake Forest begin te- 
dious rebuilding jobs diat won't show 
much progress this year, At Clemson 
Ker is installing a veer offense that may 
not veer very much, with a short 
good running bicks. Lis most impressive 
newcomer is gigantic (6'5”, 248 pounds) 
sophomore receiver Bennie Cunningham, 
from that breeding ground of 
excellence, Seneca, South Garo 
Wake Forest, Mills intends to 
assing offense, even though he has no 
proven quarterback. Incong:uously, the 
Deacons’ main weapon will probably be 
sophomore fullback Frank Harsh, who 
led the team in rushing last season. 

East Carolina will again be the power 
of the Southern Conference, with an 
ck featuring runner Carlester Crumpler 
and a defense, one of the most exciting in 
the country. called the Wild Dogs, be. 

usc it pursues in packs. If carol 
is dethroned, Richmond will do it. Only 
five starters graduated and last year's 
weaknesses—slow runni and 
green quarterbacks—have been elimi- 
nated. Richmond has also added a couple 


of speedy junior college-transfer wide re. 
ceive: & Mary will be as good 
as Kast Carolina or Richmond, but its 
predictably ambitious extra Conference 
schedule will hurt its won-lost record. The 
Indians, with a wealth of backfield tal 
ent, may surprise some of the prestige 
teams if they can finally master the sub 
tleties of the tripl-option offense. Appa- 
hian State, still in the throes of a major 
rebuilding program, will have beter 
depth, but the Mountaineers’ announced 
goal of a championship team is at least 
а year away from realization. Furman 
enjoyed a banner recruiting year, so 
as many as eight freshmen could start. 


Best of the frosh is quarterback David 
Whitehurst. 
Despite the graduation of record setting 


passer Eddie McAshan, Georgia Techs 
passing attack will be even stronger. Rex 
sons; Jim Stevens, his replacement, has a 


better arm than McAshan, there are more 
good receivers and the offensive line is 
stronger. The running attack, very weak 
most of last year, looked better in spring 


scrimmages. The star of the defensive 
team is diminutive safety Randy Rh 
who scems to materialize from nowhere 
to make implausible interceptions. He'll 
be helped by two sophomores, defensive 
end Rick Gibney and safety Scott Whit 
mer, making the Yellow Jackets one of 
the South’s more stubborn teams. 
Tulane has been rebuilding for ten 
years. Last year's potentially mmmphant 
n was scuttled by a weird loss to 
on a fluke fifth down play and the 
squad never quite recovered psychologi- 
cally. This season, the Greenies have ther 
best depth in ten years, a solid quarter 
К in Steve Foley and a quick defense, 
If a large contingent of talented young 
players matures quickly, Tulane could 
wind up ina bowl game. 
Pete ЕШоц, one of the more widely 
traveled head coaches in recent decades 
(he’s been at Nebraska, California and 


Illinois), now assumes responsibility for 
Miami's fortunes, and he really lucked 
out. His predecessor, Fr: 


n Curci, a fine 
recruiter, left Elliott a number of tal- 
ented sophomores to upgrade the defen- 
sive unit and a new quarterback, Kary 
Baker, who looked so good in spring рга 
tice hell likely beat out. incumbent. Ed 
Carney. But then there's the schedule. 
The Hurricanes face—would you be 
liev „ Oklahoma, Houston, Ala. 
bama, Florida and Notre Dame. For all 
his inherited fortune, Elliott will have a 


tzel has taken his 
lumps since he descended upon South 
arolina a few years ago. He has not led 
his team to glory, as he announced le 
would, and Columbia critics grumble that 
he is more adept at building character in 
his players than at teaching them to play. 
football. Were it not for a tough schedule, 
this could be Dietzel's most successful 


“I didn’t hear anyone call for a measurement, Simkins!” 


241 


Jeff Grantz is the best of three good 
quarterbacks to run the veer offense and 
is much improved, 
is che fourth head coach 
nd such 
bly hurts. recruiting. 
ıs joined the ‚5о 
а haven for mishts and 
dropouts [rom other schools. Consequent- 
ly, the squad is thin—only 52 players 
suited up for the spring game—yet it 
contains some talent. Quarterback Fred 
Solomon may be the best in the South 
d he'll have excellent receivers, but 
a new line may not give him much 
protection. 
Southern А 
name (Golden 
tant coache: 
rookie kicker to 


. four new assi 
bundantly talented 
over for AIF Ame 
Ray Guy and rong running attack 
built around elusive Doyle Orange. All of 
this should produce a better year than 
last disappointing 8-7-1. 
Virginia Tech's olfense will be less im- 


an 


азо! 


242 pressive this year. Fabled passer Don 


dog-food commercial?” 


Strock left and there's no replacement of 
remotely comparable quality around. 
Also, both lines are questionable. 


Florid ted to rebuild. 
"The most likely replacement for departed 
passer С or Billy Sex 


who tı Alabama wh 
Bryant decided to use the wishbone of- 
fense. If he falters, soph Mark Orlando 
will try. Otherwise, there's no depth in 
allahassee this fall, so several freshmen 
probably will step in. 

ooga has hired a new coach, 
Joe Morrison (the former New York 
Giant great), to bring the Moccasins [oot- 
ball respectability. Tt will take a few 
years. 


Nebraska will have a new coach, Tom 
Osborne, and many new faces, but little 
«Бе will change—least of all the Corn- 
huskers’ winning ways. Incredibly, the 
arrival of two sophomore running backs, 
Tony Davis and John O'Leary. will make 
the ground attack even stronger than 
1972. Quarterback Dave Humm should 
reach the peak of lı ty this s 
and a flock of Heet receivers will ca 


loss of Johnny Rodgers. Two eravmoy 
All-America tackles, John Dutton (de 
fense) and Daryl White (offense), will 
anchor the best lines in the league. 


THE NEAR WEST 
BIG EIGHT 

Nebraska — 10-] lowaState — 7-1 
Oklahoma St. 9-2 Missouri 65 
Colorado 8-2 Kansas 56 
Oklahoma 8-3 Kansas Stale 3-8 

SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE 
Texas 82 Southern 
Texas AM 8-3 Methodist — 5-6 
Rice. 1-4 Texas Christian 4-7 
Texas Tech — 7-4 Arkansas 2-9 
Baylor 6 

MISSOURI VALLEY CONFERENCE 
Louisville 9-1 Tulsa 38 
Memphis State 8 3 — New Mexico 
Drake 83 tate 2-9 
Wichita State 7-4 — North Texas 
West Texas 51. 5-6 State 1-0 
INDEPENDENTS 

Houston 10-1 Air Force 64 
Шаһ State 8-3 


TOP PLAYERS: Dutton, White, Humm, Davis 
(Nebraska); Boatwright, Palmer, Vann (Okla- 
homa State: Cam, Davis, McDonald, 
Matthews (Colorado); Selmon, Shoate, Wash- 
ington, Burget, Owens (Oklahoma); Blair, 
Strachan, Krepfle (lowa State); Anderson, 
Reamon, Cherry (Missouri); Jaynes, Towle 
(Kansas); Clarington (Kansas State); Wyman, 
Crosslin, Minnick, leaks, Gaspard (Texas): 
‘Osborne, Simonini, Roaches (Texas A&M); 
Henley, Coleman (Rice); Tillman, Barnes 
(Texas Tech) Luce, Turnipseede, Rogers 
(Baylor); Kelcher, Maxson, Morris (Southern 
Methodist); Terveen, Davis (Texas Christian); 
Morton, Rhodes (Arkansas); Bishop, Smith, 
Gitschier, DePaola (Louisville); Harris, 
Thompson, Bruner (Memphis State); Steven- 
Son, Heston, Sears (Drake); Dvorak, Potts, 
Speck (Wichita State), Pritchett (West 
Texas State); Colbert (Tulsa); Cook, Pi 
sarcik, Baker (New Mexico State); Davis 
(North Texas State); Nobles, Johnson, 


Mitchell, Baugh Houston), Menning, Rosa 
(Utah State); Morris, Heil, Hansen (ir Force). 


И new coach Jim Sta 
lively guide the 
squad left by David Smith (who's now at 
SMU), Oklahoma State could he the sur. 
prise team of the Big Eight. Stanley has 
34 of last year's top 44 players, who pro 
duced the first Cowboy winning season 
since 1959. Their offense will certainly be 
able to score. ng game will 
resemble apede and the 
last year's major weakness— 
looks beuer. In fact, Brent Blackman 
could become the finest wishbone quar 
k in the country. Linebacker Cleve- 
1 heads a defense that will be 
ially strong against the 
Colorado will be basi 
last year's 8-3 team, 
backs: and coach. Eddie 
that problem in spring practice by switch- 
ing wingbacks Jon Keyworth and Ozell 


ley can cllec- 


me as 
is its defensive 


rowder solved 


Collier to the secondary and tailback 
Gary Campbell to linebacker. This was 
posible because Crowder found two 
exciting sophomore tailbacks Horace 
“Bullets” Perkins and Nelson Laneheart 
(both 165.pounders with amazing speed), 
who will push veteran star Charlie Davis 
for a starting berth. Another sophomore. 
runner, fullback Jim Kelleher, will back 
up Bo Matthews. Consequently, Colo- 
nido’s running attack, operating behind a 
good offensive line, will be devastating. 
Overall, this Colorado team will be more 
consistent and tougher than 1972's. And 
it will need to be, for it plays a grueling 
away-from-home schedule. 

Both of Oklahoma's starting units were 
nearly wiped out when diplomas were 
buted in June. The Sooners also 
Jost their head coach, to the New Eng- 
land Patriots, and their sensational 
sophomore quarterback, Kerry Jackson, 
to NCAA. eligibility rules. But don’t 
weep for Oklahoma. Some of last year’s 
reserves ji 


just might be better than those 
who departed. This year's defense, fea- 
turing PLAYBOY All-America middle 
guard Lucious Selmon, will be the 
Sooners’ suong point It’s the offense 
that’s a question mark. М Jackson wins 
way back onto the squad (as we go to 
s to have an excellent 
chance), O could be a fearsome 
team. If he fails? Says new coach Barry 
Switzer, "We'll be capable of beating any- 
one, but it'll be scary. 

Jo ate, as is the fashion in the flat- 
lands this fall, has a new coach. Earle 
Bruce inherited most of the talent assem- 
bled by departed. Johnny Majors, with 
the major exception of a proven quarter- 
back. Rookie Wayne Stanley appears to 
be the prime candidate for the job and 
he'll have good help: Six of last fall's 
seven top rushers are back and the receiv- 
ing corps is one of the best anywhere. 
Lawrence “Big Daddy” Hunt has been 
moved to linebacker, where he will team 
with rLaysoy All-America Matt Blair, 
giving the Cyclones a murderous defense 
against the rush. Blair, as a rover, will 
also help an inexperienced pass defense. 
Ti last year's injury plague can be avoided, 
1973 could be the year that 1972 was sup- 
posed to be. 

Missouri, after a dismal 1—10 season in 
1971, nearly blew the Big Eight ap: 
year by beating Colorado and Jo 
they also upset Notre Dame. On other 
Saturdays, however, the Tigers played 
like tranquilized. kittens against suppos- 
edly weaker teams, Some of the inconsist 
ency was blamed on their wildly е 
ishbone attack, so it is being abandoned 
this season for the power І. Another r 
son for discarding the wishbone is Steve 
Pisarkiewic, a sparkling sophomore p 
er who—with veterans John Cherry 
Ray Smith—will give the Tigers their 
fist quarterback depth in many years. A 
seasoned offensive line, built around 


PLAYBOY All-America center Scott An- 
derson, will make the offense more con- 
sistent. Another asset is the return of 
place kicker Greg Hill, whose accurate 
toe was largely responsible for all three 
of last season's upsets. 
Last fall, Kansas had an 


excellent 


quarterback, David Jaynes, but not much 


yers are now on hand and if the of- 
fensive line can give Jaynes some time to 
throw, hell engineer some upsets, be- 
ase he has fine receivers. He'll also rely 
оп some prom ig backs, partic- 
ularly Delvin Williams. If Williams can 
stay healthy, the Jayhawks will score a 
lot of points. 

‘The big task at Kansas State is to re- 
build a weak defense. However, it looks 
ike the line will still be undermanned. 
Perhaps coach Vince Gibson's new veer-I 
offense will take some of the pressure off 
the defenders, In any event, quarterback 
Steve Grogan, who cin run as well as pass, 
should make the new offense work. He'll 
be supported by Don Calhoun and Isaac 
Jackson, two of the better running backs 
in the league. 

A season when Texas loses two football 
games is considered a fiasco in Austin. 
This looks like such a year, for only a skel- 
eton of the '72 offense remains. Fullback 
Roosevelt Leaks will still terrorize oppos- 
ing tacklers, rookie quarterbacks Marty 
ıs and Mike Presley looked great in 
ng practice and the new offensive 
line is promising. But there's no way the 


ungsters can replace last year’s ser 
7 principal needs as fall practice 
opens are adequate runners to help Leaks 
nd some good defensive backs. However, 
even with these unaccustomed problems, 
the Longhorns should be strong enough 
to retain their Conference championship. 
If Texas falters, Texas АКМ appca 
the likely winner. The Aggics have had 
many grade-A players on Gunpus for most 
of the past five years, but assorted misfor- 
tunes and morale problems have kept 
them from playing up to their potential. 
Emory Bellard, the inventor of the wish- 
bone offense, is now in his second year in 
College Station and he has had two fabi 
lously rewarding recruiting years, so his 
team looks ready. Opposing coaches 
are crying wolf because Bellard signed 
the eight top high school prospects in the 
state of Texas last winter and most of 
them may start before the season is over. 
Any of three freshmen quarterbacks— 
David Shipman, Carl Menger and David 
Walker—is capable of winning the start- 
ing berth from incoming transfer M ike 
Jay. Ten of A&M's 18 returning lettermen 
were freshm "72 and the best of them 
was linebacker Ed Simonini, a certain su- 
perstar. Five incoming freshmen linemen 
average more than 250 pounds, and 
they're still growing. Considering all 
these factors, the Aggies seem to have one 
of the youngest and most talented squads 
assembled anywhere. They may make a 
lot of mistakes this year try 
ment Bellard's new invention (something 


“Did it ever occur to you that the people on the bus 
might nol want to see your vasectomy scar?” 


243 


he calls the T-bone offense), but the 
Aggies will be awesome in 1974. 

Whether or not Rice can improve on 
last year's .500 record depends mostly on 
who coach Al Conover can find to play 
quarterback. So far, it appears to bc Fred 
Geisler, who was Gary Hull's backup at 
Florida State before transferring; and if 
he doesn’t make the grade, freshman 
my Kramer, one of the most coveted 
school quarterbacks in the country 
last year, could take over. Four good wide 
тз return and they'll be joined by 
fabulous freshman Bruce Wooldridge, so 
the Owls’ pass attack is potentially fine. 
Most of the defenders also return, and 
Conover has installed a 5-2 alignment in 
order то fully utilize Cornelius Walke 
a middle guard. Sophomore full- 
back John Coleman will do most of the 
runn 

Texas Tech will be weaker this year, 
because graduation stripped both lines 
and, except for defensive tackle Ecomet 
Burley, the line replacements don’t look 
nearly as good as those who graduated. 
Most of both backfields return, though, 
and quarterback Joc Barnes has a stable 


PLAYBOY 


ylor wasn’t supposed to win a single 
game last fall, according to many South- 
western sportswriters, but the squad 
caught fre under dynamic young coach 
Grant Teaff and wound up winning five. 
This year, the Bears should be even 
ET For one thing, they have an 
unaccustomed plethora of backfield men, 
induding an exciting junior college 
transfer, wingback Phillip Kent, whose 
icredible speed will make the Bears’ 
passing game lethal, Two defensive 
stars, linebacker Derrel Luce and rover 
"Tommy Turnipscede, will make it difi- 
cult to run against the Bears. 

Last fall, Hayden Fry, a canny and re- 
sourceful coach who has the ability to 
fashion winning tcams from limited tal- 
ent, brought Southern Methodist its first 
winning season since 1968. But it wasn't. 
good enough for SMU's more influential 
alumni: Fry was fired. One disgruntled 
Mustang fan, who makes an avocation of 
studying SMU atl y. told us, 
"S Methodist is committed to ath. 


с. 


‘Souther 
Jeric mediocrity. It wants to get a 
winner om the cheap, and it can't be 
done. The big problem is some of the big- 
mouthed, oil-rich alumni. They bitch, 
but they won't cough up any money for 
the athletic program.” A more dispassion- 
te explanation is that SMU, like other 
privately funded universities, finds it-dif- 
ficult to compete ag: 
universities without large amoun 
de moncy, and alumni, rich or other- 
wise, don't contribute to a losing team. 
When Fry moved to North Texas 
State, most of the better SMU players 
wanted to give up a усаг of eligibility 
244 and move with him; but Fry talked them 


out of the idea for the sake of their own 
athletic futures. Even so, new coach 
David Smith inherits much less material 
than he left at Oklahoma State. Only 72 
players took part in spring drills and 
there is no depth anywhere. The new 
wishbone offense will feature halfbacks 
Alvin Maxson and Wayne Morris. Mag- 
nificent tackle Louie Kelcher, a PLAYBOY 
All-Am a, will seem like half the de- 
fensive unit. 

Texas Christian's defense, featuring 
PLAYBOY All-America tackle Charlie 
d linebacker Dede Terveen, will 
lot of pressure this season, because 
its offense is crippled by a line that 
looked horrible in spring practice. Games 
against Ohio State and Fennessce, added 
to the regu Southwest Conference 
schedule, will make it а long autumn. 

It will bea bad year in Fayetteville, Ar- 
kansas, even worse than last year, when 
the Razorbacks were supposed 10 con- 


tend for the national championship but 
played poorly, There are no more fanatic 
football fans anywhere than those who 


follow the Hogs, but they'll just have to 
wait a year. Only two offensive and four 
defensive starters return, so the bulk of 
the squad will be inexperienced sopho- 
mores. Jf Arkansas gets through its first 
three games (against 
Southern Oklahoma State 
and Towa State) without too many inju- 
ries, it could win a couple of Conference 
games. 

Few new coaches ever walked into à 
able situation than did T. W- 
ille, The Cardinals will be 
ger than they were last year, when 
sed an undefeated season by two 
ist Tulsa) but didn't get a 

the status-conscious bowl 
committees, Only the graduation of 
quarterback John Madeya poses a possi- 
ble personnel problem and new passer 
Lennie DePaola should solve it. Talent 
abounds everywhere: Rookie runner Wal- 
ter Peacock, if you can believe it, is said to 
be even faster than graduated Howard 
Stevens, and Richard Bishop and Marty 
Smith may be the best pair of defensive 
tackles anywhere. If the Cardinals win 
their first game against Memphis State, 
they will likely be unstoppable. 

But winning that first game will be a 
problem. Memphis State has had a year to 
adjust to coach Fred Pancoast’s methods. 
The Tigers will be blessed with two 
dandy quarterbacks, David Fowler and 
pe Bruner, a transler from An- 
burn, who will throw ro two great rec 
ers, James Thompson and Steve DeLong. 
The defense will be as mean as usual, but 
the schedule is meaner, so the Tigers may 
hot win many more games than last усаг. 

Drake moves into the major college 
rankings and could casily surprise some 
of the supposedly stronger teams on its 
schedule, The Bulldogs are а gambli 
exciting team: “We'd pass from the goal 


non-Conference 
California. 


they 
points (a 
nibble fom 


line if the officials would spot the ball 
there,” says coach Jack Wallace. Transfer 
(from Missouri) quarterback Mike Zele- 
novich and runner Jerry Heston will be 
the big gur 

Wichita State appears to have some 
depth lor the first time since its disas- 
trous air crash in 1970. Eighteen starters 
return and are joined by a superior group 
of freshmen. Sophomore Fred Speck could 
develop into the best runner in the con- 
Tackle Rick Dvorak is the de 
fensive anchor. 

Fighteen starters also return at West 
Texas State, which means that the Вай 
Joes could be in the thick of the Confer- 
ence championship race. provided las 
s inept passing attack i 
di Gene M 
wishbone to thc I formation in spi 
drills and if 210-pound fullback Billy 
Pritchett recovers from his knee injury, 
the Buffaloes will have a ground game bc- 
firing their name 

New coach Hayden Fry didn't find 
much good material to greet him at North 

as State, but there is good new 
y of the high school athletes he had 
courting while coaching at 
ге followed him to Denton, giving 
North Texas State its best freshman 
group in history, and five or six of them 
could be instant starters. More good 
news: Fry has injected the squad with an 
enthusiasm that hasn't been seen at North 
Texas in years, Give Fry three years and 
the eyes of Texas will be looking north. 

It was а dreary year at New Mexico 
and this season may be even 
bleaker. Inexperience and lack of depth 
will be the problems. The passing game 
may be spectacular, however, because 
reserve quarterback Doug Baker was so 
sensational in spring practice that һе 
challenged Joc Pisarcik, who has had pro 
scouts drooling for two years. Receiver 
Hank Cook, whom the same scouts tag аз 
another Fred Biletnikolf, may break every 
pass catching record in sight. 

Houston's very young team missed 
n 1972 by just a few points. 
17 заме ning, expect the 
gars ro arrive t 
will have a fortunate mixture of q 
seniors and promising youngsters. 
that’s the formula of which winners 


are 
made. Their speed will be tremendous, 


especially Marshall Johnson's, who has 
the tools to become one of the nation's 
best running backs. But the major 
strength will he the defense, perhaps the 
finest in school history. Only exces 
injuries in the ollensive line or defensive 
kfield сап keep the Cougars out of a 
major bowl game. 

At Utah State, new coach Phil Krucger 
is busy trying to find an adequate replace- 
ment for graduated quarterback Tony 
Adams. At the end of spring drills, junior 
college transfer Chris DeWan seemed 
likeliest. Supersoph Brian Longuevan 


and Rod Rosa give the Aggies vicious 
linebacking and Dave Manning will 
again be the mainstay of a premier offen- 
line. Kicker Al Knapp could provide 
the crucial points in close games. 

Air Force will he the strongest of the 
three Service teams, as it should have 
been last season. Presumably. they won't 
fall asleep against Army and Navy this 
year. The offense should be as produc- 
tive as it was last year (quarterback Rich 
Haynie may own every total offense and 
passing record in Air Force history by 
December), but defensively, there are 
questions. since almost the entire line 
duated. Fortunately, the new one 
looked good in spring drills. 
ine a college football 
team richer in talent than Southern С 
fornia's 1972 football t п. Yet there is 
one: this year's Southern California foot 
ball team, despite the graduation of many 
great players. You name it, the Trojans 
have it. including a couple of fabulous 
freshmen, tackle Gary Jeter and tight end 
Marvin Powell, who are good enough to 
crash the varsity. А few players who'll at- 


105 hard to ir 


been waiting for old 
uate. One is senior offensive lineman 
Booker Brown. Says coach John McKay, 
“If Brown doesn't make the post-season 
All-America teams, it would be like 
leaving Bill Walton off the basketball All- 


America team.” Yet Brown was an un- 
ier last season, 
у also says, “If tackle Mike McGirr 
[recovering from knee surgery] and tight 
end Jim O'Bradovich play up to their 
abilities, our offensive line will be as 
good as it was last year." Overwhelming, 
that js. McKay's major concern du 
spring practice was replacing full 
Sam Cunningham. Ken Gray. who was 
praypoy All-America linebacker Richard 
Wood's backup man last year, is too good 
to sit on the bench, so he'll be the new 
fullback. McKay says that quarterback 
Pat Haden needs only а litle more pol 
ishing. If breath-taking runner Anthony 
Davis is fully recovered from an Achil- 
les tendon injury (he scemed fine in 
the spring), he'll be one of the best in the 
land. Concludes coach McKay, “We have 
more proven players now than a year ago. 
But those people we weren't sure of last 
year came through for us. We hope the 
same happens this time.” McKay needn't 
worry too much. If anyone falters, there 
will be several like him sitting on the 
side lines, 

Last autumn, UCLA surprised every 
one, including itself, with a deadly 
wishbone offense that often seemed un- 
stoppable. This year’s problem is to 
replace five starters in the offensive line. 
Runners James McAlister and Kermit 
Johnson (both likely first-round draft 
choices next February) return, along with 


skilled wishbone quarterback Mark Har- 

Coach Pepper Rodgers insists the 
ing will be sharper this fall to en- 
hance an already formidable running 
attack. Теп starters return to the defen- 
i g PLavnoy All-Ameri 
my Allen, probably the best defensive 
back in the country. 

Despite tlie lack of a top quarterback, 
Oregon will be a strong factor in the race 
to determine who's second best in the 
West. Last year, the Ducks had a strictly 
homerun olfense: but with a good front 
line and four quality runners, they will 
be more methodical in 1973. The defense, 
mediocre last year, could be the best at 
Oregon in seven years. Sophomore defen- 
sive tackle Reggie Lewis and freshman 
tight end Jeff Butts are both potential 


is under № penalty 
Tor recruiting violations, which means the 
Bears can't go to the Rose Bowl. But that 
isn’t exactly a stunning blow thi 
and the Bears can still enjoy sneaking up 
on some of the other teams, and they 
probably will. They have the ingredients, 
and if coach Mike White can put them to- 
gether, California could be the surprise 
team in the West. Quarterback Vince Fer- 
gamo could wind up being an All- 
America after his sophomore year and 
freshman fullback Mark Bailey should 
be an instant sensation. Help is пе 
for the defensive crew, so last wi 


season 


ter 


(©1973 Sony Corp. of Amarica. Май ou Showroom, 714 ҒА Ave, New York, N.Y. 


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245 


PLAYBOY 


ruited at junior colleges and got 
five prime transfe 

Stanford's mediocre 6-5 showing in "72 
can be explained by the fact that PLAYBOY 
AlkAmerica quarterback Mike Boryla 
was dropped for a net Joss of 213 yards 
by blitzing linebackers and linemen. 
Compare that with the year before, when 
passer Don Bunce gained 248 yards rush- 
ing. Yet three members of that obviously 
inadequate offensive line were drafted by 
the pros, so one wonders, if the coaches 
can't make passable blockers out of sudi 
good talent, how well will they succeed 
this year? Boryla is the best college quar- 

ick in the country, though, and he'll 
win a few games with his deadly passing. 
Rod Garcia, a prolific field-goal kicker, 
will probably win a few more games. 


THE FAR WEST 
PACIFIC EIGHT 


Southern Weshington St. 5-6 

California — 11-0 — Stanford 5-6 
UCLA 9-2 Wastington 4-7 
Oregon 6-5 Oregon Stale 38 
California 65 


WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE 


Arizona State 10-1 New Mexico — 3-8 
Arizona 6-5 Colorado State 3-8 
Brigham Young 6-5 — Wyoming 2-9 
Utah 4-8  Texasat 
EI Paso 24 
PACIFIC COAST CONFERENCE 

San Diego Long Beach 
State 10-1 State 7-4 
Pacific 9-1 San Jose State 6-5 
Fresno State 5-5 

INDEPENDENTS 

Idaho 6-5 Hawaii 74 
TOP PLAYERS: Swann, Davis, Wood, Sims, 
Brown (Southem California); Johnson, Mc- 


Alister, Allen, Harmon (UCLA); Boryla, Poltl, 
Winesberry, Stillwell (Stanford); Swenson, 


Ferragamo’ (Califomia): Arnold, Francis, 
Reynolds (Oregon) Osterman, Johrson 
(Washington State); Hayes, Andrilenas 
(Washington); Petersen, White (Oregon 


State); Green, White, Breunig, Malone 
(Arizona State); Terrell, Hill (Arizona); At- 
Kinson, Coon (Brigham Young); Van Galder 
(Utah) Bradshaw (New Mexico); Miller 
(Colorado State); Cochreham (Wyoming); 
Crittenden (Texas at El Paso) Freitas, 
Boyer, Thompson (San Diego State); Viney, 
Bailey (Pacific); Nathan (Long Beach State); 
Armstrong (San Jose State); Holworthy 
(Fresno State); Hall, Van Duyne (Idaho); 
Holmes, Stanley (На! 


Washington State has abandoned its 
Jong held private enclave in the basement 
of the Pacific Eight Conference. Talk to 
any other coach in the Northwest and 


he'll point out the clean sweep Washing- 
ton State coach Jim Sweeney has made in 
the recruiting wars the past two 
The Cougars could be even stronga 
than last season's 7-1 team, but they will 
win fewer games, because the oppe 
with Arizona State and Ohio State added 
to the schedule, will be much more 


245 rugged. 


There's а new look to Oregon State 
football. OSU suffered a 2-9 season in '72, 
only the second in coach Dee Andros” 
nine years in Corvallis. And he didn’t like 
it. So he has thrown out the traditi 
power T he once used so effectively 
replaced it with a wide-open pro attack. 
He brought in 13 junior college transfers 
during the spring and had a productive 
recruiting year. Among the new bodies, 
Andros found an excellent passing quar- 
terback, transfer Alvin White, to run 
his new offense. At Oregon State, only the 
forms will look the same. 


hgton starters retur and 
n somewhat comparable 
rrived to make people forget 
A new olfensive system 
(sprint option) is being installed to uti- 
lize the good backfickl speed and the 
new quarterbacks, who are better runners 
than passers. The defense, last year’s 
strength, will again have to carry most of 
the load. There are some prime prospects, 
among them sophomore middle guard 
Dan Lloyd, but the inexperience will 
show in this very young squad. 

A spokesman for Arizona State assured 
us that the Sun Devils will be stron 
fensivcly and weaker defensively Ч 
son. Jf that's a correct assessment, their 
games will be three-ring circuses. Why? 
Because the Devils scored an rage of 
47 points per game last year while giving 
up*24. So prayuoy All-America running 
back Woody Green has a chance to score 
more points than any runner in history. 
heres more backfield talent: Fullback 
Ben Malone would be the star runner on 
most other teams and sophomore Mike 
Haynes is so good he may pla 
аз а wingback on offense and as a corner- 
ack on defense. Coach Frank Kush's 
prime worry is the lack of a good second- 
string quarterback behind Danny White. 
Freshman Fred Mortenson, who was slat- 
ed for that job, quit school to become a 
Mormon missionary in Ircland. 

The University of Arizona, annoyed by 
the recent spectacular success of the Sun 
Devils, has announced an effort to de- 
throne the upstarts in Tempe. This year, 
the Wildcats Һаус а new coach (Jim 
Young), new uniforms (primarily blue), 
a new offense (proset), a new defense 
(fiveman front) and a new quarterback 
(upersoph Bruce Hill). The Wildcats 
should have a winning season. 

Thirty-two lettermen return from а 
Brigham Young team that surprised the 
Western Athletic Conference in 1972. Un- 
fortunately, Pete Van Valkenburg is not 
among them, but his replacement, Dave 
Coon, is good one. И a good quarter- 
back can be found, the Cougars will be as 
strong as last year. 

With quarterback Don Van cler, all 
his receivers and most of his blockers re- 
turning, Utah will be а pass-or 
ed team. Van Galder broke most of the 


assing records 1 
ly rewrite them again this fall. The 
kicking game, featuring Dan Marelli, 
will be superb, as usual, The Utes have 
two impediments to a winning season: a 
weak defense and a tough schedule. 

With 30 lettermen and some promising 
transfers on hand, prospects at New Mex 
ico arc bright. One of the transfers. Don 
Woods, a strong-armed quarterback, will 
give the wishbone offense more suiking 
power. His prime receiver will be Ken 
Lege, another transfer. 

Sark Arslanian, twice selected as the na- 
tional Armenian Coach of the Year by the 
Huirenik Weekly (presumably, his only 
competitor for the honor was Ara Parse 
ghian), becomes the new coach at Colc 
do State. He greets 18 starters [rom 
season's team that won only one 
plus 60 new players. About 15 
will make the varsity and as ma 
of them could be starters. Look for sever- 
al of last year's firststringers to wind up 
on the third team. 

Wyoming has a good quarterback, 
Steve Cockreham, but he may not have 
anyone to throw to. Graduation gutted 
the offense, leaving little except Cockre- 
ham and some good backs. Capa- 
ble reserves are scarce, so injuries could 
be devastating. 

Like Wyoming, Texas at El Paso will 
a rebuilding ye: 
cks, Frank Duncan à 
ie, team with receiver Lonnie 
Crittenden to give rs plenty of 
scoring potenti of the freshi- 
man progra ang athletes on 
campus, en: righter future. 

San Diego n be the top 


with 


with such stars as passer Jesse 
and wide receiver Tim Boyer. New coach. 
Claude Gilbert, an Aztec assistant in 77, 
watched the team being demolished by 
the Houston yeer ick last season and 
decided to mix some veer tactics with his 
prosct system. A massive offensive linc 
should make it work. The top defensive 
player is Alan “Cookie Monster” Thomp- 
a tackle who, the San Diego publicist 
tells us, bears a remarkable resemblance 
to his namesake. ate’s schedule is a 
killer. So if the Aztecs come through with 
fewer than two losses, they deserve to 
wind up in the top 20 at season’s end. 

San Diego State's strongest Conference 
competition will come Irom Pacific 
whose usual horde of junior college t 
fers brought епо! 
an already forn 


game 


Watch new runner Don he could 
be great. Offensive lin Willie Viney 
is a one-man wall of blockers. The 


will pass more often this yea 
they won three games without complet- 
ing а pass). 

Loug Be 


h State also should have à 
better running game, with back Tominy 
Nathan, plus the fact that last year’s small 
offensive line has been reinforced. Senior 


“Gosh, I never dreamed that one day I would be 
sitting in the president's chair.” 


247 


PLAYBOY 


248 


Gary Wann, а good long thrower, will 
take over at quarterback. 

Last season, San Jose State was the 
biggest, least explosive team on the West 
Coast. The Spartans had the cloud-of- 
dust part of it down pat but couldn't get 
the three yards that are supposed to go 
with it New coach Darryl Rogers will 
solve thar problem with the help of fabu- 
lous freshman running back. Mike Gill. 

Fresno State also has а new coach, J. R- 
Boone, and the best crop of junior college 
transfers in 25 years. Fourteen of them 
will be starters, so Bulldog fans will 
hardly recognize the team. 

Idaho will presumably avoid a repeat 
of the injury plague that claimed 11 start- 
ers last year. Also, the squad is the deepest 
school history. Best among the new 
ayers are sophomore tackle Mike Kra- 
nebacker Kjel 
. Offensive guard Bob Van Duyn 
a star, and so is cornerback Randy Hall 

Hawaii, well into its building program 
to become a major football power. enjoys 
a distinct scheduling advantage. Most 
teams are delighted by the prospect of 
spending an extended weekend in the 
islands, so the Rainbows no longer have 
to spend much of the autumn scurrying 
back and forth to the mainland. ‘The 
"Bows will play nine games this season in 
Honolulu Stadium. Quarterbacks Casey 


is 


Ortez and June Jones lead a team that 
will feature, among others, АП-Аше 
tackle candidate Levi Stanley and stellar 
sophomore offensive linemen Charles 
Aiuand Adrian Kahoohanohano. 

Finally, a closing note. While Stewart 
Udall was sending shock waves through 
last winter's N.C.A.A. convention, mem- 
bers were feverishly discussing. prelimi- 
nary details of a plan termed, for lack of 
a better name, the Poll Bowl. It calls for 
the top two college teams in the nation— 
selected after the regular bowl games 
by an as-yetundecided process—to pl. 
for the university division national 
championship on the Saturday before the 
Super Bowl game. The idea, of course, is 
to compete with professional football, 
not only for public attention but also 
for a big chunk of the television bread. 
From the fans’ point of view, it sounds 
like a good idea. Southern California vs. 
Oklahoma probably would have been 
finitely more entertaining last January 
than the stifled yawns inspired by the 
Super Bowl. 

But if that's what the N.C.A.A.. of- 
ficials were thinking about during their 
meeting last winter, it appears, not 
surprisingly, that no one was listening 
to the refreshingly naive sentiments 
expressed by Mr. Udall. 


“Sorry, Fred. Maynard has shown me a world 
that I never knew existed!” 


MATH GOES MINI 


(continued from page 112, 
ounces and sells for $149.95, making it al- 
most worth its weight in gold and more 
than twice as expensive as the simple 
machines with which it competes. 

Other electronic slide rules, compara- 
ble to Hewlett-Packard's original model, 
will come onto the market later this fall, 
т hopes of appealing to the back-to- 
school crowd, with prices starting around 
5200. (Ihe cost reduction is due to sin- 
plification of circuitry) Bowmar and 
Lloyd's Electronics will be among the 
first manufacturers to offer such models. 

Pocket calculators have developed so 
quickly that advertising copy writers have 
yet to catch up. The problem is exacer- 
bated by the fact that many pocket calcu- 
lators are sold by retail department 
stores, whose newspaper ads read like 
they're written. by underwear salesmen. 
As a consequence, vast sums of money are 
being spent on calculator advertisements 
that are either misleading or unintelligi- 
ble. For the record, here is a brief glossary 
of pocket-calculator phraseology: 

Four function: No calculator can have 
fewer functions, since the four are ad- 
dition, subtraction, multiplication and 
division, 

Algebraic logic: This means that prob- 
Jems are punched into the calculator alge- 
braically, in the order you would do them 
in your head. Specifically: 2 x 3 — 6 or 
24 + 6 = 4. This method is easy to learn 
and is used by virtually all new models. 
Machines that don't use algebraic logic 
should be avoided. 

Chain calculations: This simply means 
that you can add, subtract, multiply or 
divide in a series (4 x 4 = 16 — 6 = 
10 + 5 = 2). Again, this is something 
that nearly every calculator can do, so 
you should avoid those that doi 

Floating decimal: Almost all new pock. 
et machines have this feature, which 
automatically moves the decimal point 
(in multiplication and division problems) 
to the position that produces the most ex- 

t answer tlic display screen can handle. 
lier models came with а fixed decimal 
point; this was fine for dollars-and-cents 
calculations but could be inaccurate 
when more than two decimal places were 
needed for an answer. 

Constant factor: A button marked к 
locks in the first number entered—useful 
when you want to use the same number to 
multiply a series of others. For typical 
personal use, a constant is nice to have 
but far from essential. 

Advertising copy is especially hary 
hen it comes to describing memory and. 
percentage features. Every calculator has 
a memory for permanently storing the in- 
structions that tell it what to do. But 
when a memory is advertised, it should 


mean that the result of a calculation 
(or a subtotal) can be stored temporarily, 
by pressing a button rather than writing 
the number down. This frees the ma- 
chine for other calculations, and the 
stored number can be called out of the 
emory and used over and over again 
without your having to reenter it. 

‘The percentage key is a quick way to 
figure taxes, discounts, markups or other 
percentages automatically. To figure a 
seven percent tax or discount on a $100 
purchase, enter 100 x 7 and then hit the 
percentage key. Pressing the plus key 
gives the total with tax ($107) and the 
minus key provides the discounted total 
($93). For most individual uses, the per- 
centage key is more desirable than the 
memory feature. Needless to say, both 
raise the retail price of the machine. 

In fact, а calculator’s price tag should 
reflect only one thing: what it can do. 
‘The more functions it performs, the high- 
er the price. Unlike many other prod- 
ucts, lower price doesn’t necessarily mean 
lower quality. An inexpensive model 
doesn’t work any slower or апу less relia 
bly than its higher-priced competitors. 
The tiny integrated circuit that is the 
calculator's brain is made and tested to 
the same specifications (most likely by the 
same manufacturer), no matter what 
the model sells for. 

Still, there are two things to watch for 
when considering the purchase of a dis- 
count priced machine, Given the intense 
competition, a [ew pennies can some- 


manufacturer's making or losing money. 
Designers in some instances have resorted 
to cheaper cases and keyboards to squeeze 
out those last few cents. Most keyboards 
have moving, or "smapaction," keys. 
€ a tactile feedback but are too 
»pensive for the lowest-priced machines, 
many of which employ nonmoving keys. 
‘These do the job, but they don't give the 
response to which most people are accus- 
tomed when using a keyboard. Try before 
you buy. 

Very low-priced models may also be 
closc-outs. This usually means the model 
didn't sell, but it also could signify that a 
company is leaving the market, a not in- 
frequent occurrence these days. In the lat- 
ter case, a buyer would have no recourse 
should anything go wrong during the 
warranty period (usually one year) or 
afterward. Caveat emplor. 

One of the more difficult tasks facing 
a buyer is choosing a company that prom- 
ises to be around for a while. Many of 
ihe companies that specialize in calcu- 
lators arc small ones, and Wall Strect ob- 
servers are expecting a shakeout. So the 
longer you wait, the casier it should be 
for you to pick a winner, or at least a com- 
pany that will stay in the race. 

Already, a handful of companies domi- 
nate the business: Bowmar, R: 
Rockwell, Commodore and Te 
ments. These five will account for 80 per- 
cent of the total U.S production of 
consumer calculators this year and two 
out of every three machines sold here. 


Hewlett-Packard, even though their cal- 
culator sales represent only a fraction 
of total consumer purchases, can also be 
expected to endure. 

For all the action the calculators 
have generated in their brief two years of 
existence, the next two years should be 
even more eventful. Prices of the cheap- 
est models are not going to drop another 
50 percent, but they will continue to sof- 
ten. One knowledgeable industry execu- 
tive predicts that by Christmas 1974, a 
simple eight-digit machine should be sell- 
ng for under 550. By Christmas 1976, he 
sees the same device under $40. At the top 
of the linc, he Iooks for more specialized 
applications, at comparably lower prices. 
As manufacturers continue to learn how 
to print more and more circuits on ever- 
smaller pieces of silicon, they can build 
more functions into existing hardware 
Already, the same chip array that pro- 
vides multiple functions for the jazzy 
electronic slide rules can be programmed 
for other specialized jobs. In the next 
two years. look for hand-held calculators 
designed for stockbrokers, machi 
students, economists, surveyors and busi- 
nessmen, with price tags dropping to the 
5100-5250 range. 

After th who knows? The message 
should be clear: If you don't see а cal- 
culator that meets your needs right now, 
hang in there. There's bound to be one 
im the works, no matter who you are or 
you do. 


times make the difference between a Large manufacturcrs such as Craig and E 
POCKET CALCULATORS: ANA, ДШ, ДАХІ 
in three broad categories, a random sampling of the 100-plus hand-held machines currently available 
MANUFACTURER миз | тшм | pimensions | rece | REMARKS 
AND MODEL OF {in ounces) {in inches) 
| READOUT 

low ronge: to Ropidman 800 з 7 У хЗу x SY | $5995 fixed decimol 

balance your 

checkbook end ОБЕРЕТЕ D зр | 1x94 69.95 | constont teatu 

free you from 

long division Garren 2020 D 24 7х6 6955 | spherical housing 

Middle range: Summit KO9V 8 8% 1x2, x4 79.95 no bigger than a pock of cigorettes 

extra keys for 

special purposes. Техоз Instrumet 8 12 2x3x5h 99.95 two-function constont 
Bowmar MX50. a 9 1x3x54 Ф735 | percentage key, есас emnstent 
Commodore US-4 D 10 пу кїхз%ң | 99.95 | memory 
Ropidman 801 D D 1435x535. | 10995 | ovtomotic солиот 
Berkey 350 з А 2x3x5 119.95 percentage key 
Craig 4505 8 9 1хёх3 149.95 memory and percentoge key 

Тор range: Texas Instruments SR-10 10 8 DA x 3x6 149,95 | squores, roots, reciprocals 

side role features 

for engineers Hewlett-Packard HP-35 | 12 9 1х3х6 295.00 exponents, trig, log 

опа mothemoticians 
Hewlett-Packard HP-45 12 ЕА Ix3x6 ا‎ jezzier version of HP-35 

A perm De 
NOTE: New models appear frequently ond prices keep declining. This informotion моз cccurote of presstime, but comporison shopping is recommended. 


249 


medica 
medical facil 
has по room for gilt shops selling pi 
peignoir sets and white-satin cyesha 
‘There is only a vending machine offe; 
panty hose in ten colors. Circling the 
complex, I got the impression that Coun- 
(уз architect gave up after sticking a few 
ars, cherubim and filigrees on the 
htstory building. Unrelieved 
yellow brick dominates in every direc- 
ion. Most of thc 1600 patient beds are 
located in structures bi between 1909 
and 1926. Yet, according to a 1972 analy- 
js, the facility manages to handle 7.2 
percent of all Chicago's hospital medica) 
surgical patients, 15.1 percent of all its 
pediatric patients, 14.4 percent of all its 
maternity patients and 30.4 percent ol 
its emergency patients. 

Ghetto patients turn to County becuse 
they have no place else to go. In 1970, just 
70 of the Chicago arca's 7000 phy 
handled halt of Cook Cou 
lassistance recipients. Many ph 
sicians who used to serve the inner city 
have fled to afluent North Shore and 
communities. Pierre de Vise, 
tor of the Chicago Regional Hospital 
dy, reports that there are more private 
physica a single North Shore medi- 
cal building entire West Side 
ghetto of 300,000 blacks, The Near South 
Kenwood-Oaklaud 
had 110 physicians serving 28,000 whites 
in 1930. Today, five physicians serve 
15,500 blacks . More phy- 
sicians live n Evanston th 
in all of sou ту. 

Because 


k 


PLAYBOY 


h Cook Coi 
ny ghetto reside 
find a doctor, they must look to hosp 


for primary medical care, Р 
tals in their own neighborhoods cater to 
middle- and upper-class patients from 
outlying arcas. These facilities don't like 
to load themselves up with wel 
tients, because government ri 
ment is slow and inadequate. 


vate hospi- 


t 


De Visc 
Tound that in 1970 roughly 18,000 emer- 


gency cases refused admission to private 
hospitals were forced to go to County. 
Hundreds of these transfers were u le, 
resulting in about 50 deaths. Some fatali- 
ties occurred. because patients were sent 
crosstown from another hospital without 
resuscitation, Others transported on their 
backs simply drowned in their own fluids. 
ince they have not had preventive 
care, County's patients arrive with more 
advanced medical problems than tl 
general populace. According to De V. 
y in the poverty arcas i 
habited by County's patients is double 
that of the rest of the city. The agcadjust- 
ed mortality rate in Chicago's ghettos is 
twice as high as in the nonpoverty arcas. 
These statistics are translated into an 
axiom taught new interns when they 
rive at County: “Every one of our р: 
250 tients has three surgically operable di: 


[Ен зын TA MANE VEC SIEK 


schools, it is onc of the busiest 
ties in the nation. County 


E 


(continued from page 120) 


cases. Your job is to find them.” 
Looking at the hospital today, it is hard. 
ve that just 25 years ago County 


ions in America, Interns s 
dents from all over the country took com- 
‘с exams to win $15- 


iT. positions. County's spei 
mous. The hospital de- 
nd 


became world f: 
veloped America’s first blood bank 
Chicago's first intensive-stroke-care unit. 
The trauma unit became a model for a 
state-wide emergency-care system. Hospi- 
tals as far away as Latin America sent 
patients to the superb burn 

But obsolete ics, ап ovcrwhelm- 
ing patient load and a fund shoriage 
caught up with County. By 1969, а visitor 
could find screaming mentally ill patients 
lashed to their beds in more than half the 
general wards, Patients slept in their own 
excrement, with no nurses to change their 
bed linens. Urine and intravenous fluid 
puddled on the floors of the open wards, 
where an average of 50 acutely ill patients 
lay, Each 60-bed ward was equipped with 
only one bathtub. 

Surgeons were forced to ventilate their 
non-air-conditioned operating rooms by 
opening windows, giving rise to the fa- 
mous cry: “Nurse, scalpel! Forceps! Fly 
swauer!" The surgeons swallowed salt 
pills on warm summer days and canceled 
operations when the humidity became 
unbearable. Unfortunately, there was 
nothing anyone could do for stroke pa- 
tients on -degree days; they simply 
sweated. 

Dr. Dean Waldman, who was a medical 
student at County during this period, 
found the laboratory particularly tough 
to deal with: “They would only perform 
tests specifically related to a diagnosis 

understood. So if you wanted to do 
ng for some rare 


nosis for cach piece of lab work. I needed 
14 different tests on one 31-yearold pa- 
tient, so I made up 14 common 
According to my lab requests, she had 
liver failure, he; 
nucleosis, a pulmonary embolism, pancre- 
atitis, a heart attack—she had everything. 
But at least 1 got the tests done and found 
out what was wrong.” 

Supplies ran out routinely. Dr. Wald- 
man recalls: “At one point, а note went 
up on the bulletin board listing 25 com- 
monly used items that were not available. 
Among them were penicillin, oxygen 
masks, Talwin—an antipain medicine— 

nd per" A shortage of r 
nurses often resulted i nts тесе 
ig only emerg 
doctors found day 
rsing th ilaterally. 
Modernization efforts often caused more 
problems than they solved. Construction 
of new facilities in the intensive 


unit forced critically Ш patients to pur 
up with noise, dust and falling plaster 
for 15 monil 

By 1970, key medical personnel were 
beginning to quit in disgust and the ро 
ns finally decided it was time to reor- 
County under an independent 
governing commission. This unit's first 
move was to hire Dr. James Haughton 
handsome black administrator, to 
charge. 

The Panama-born hospital director 
came in from New York City at a starting 
salary of $60,000, making him the highest- 
paid public servant in Cook County. The 
hospital's new leader moved decisively, 
thanks to substantial new funding. He in 
creased the publicrelations budget from 
roughly $20.000 to $113,000 annually 
Work crews were sent out to paint the 
walls and scrub the floors. Air condi- 
tioning went into such arcas as surgery, 
trauma, emergency, intensive care and 
nursery. The radio pager system was 
doubled, nurses received call buttons 
while patients picked up ward curtains 

nd an ample supply of toilet paper. As- 

suming diffuse powers formerly held by 
the medical май, Dr. Haughton cut 
County beds from an estimated 2300 to 
1600. Two buildings were closed, with 
some paticnts being transferred to nearby 
hospitals and others simply sent home 
early. Today, declares the director, County 
is no longer a medical dumping groun 
Other community hospitals must now be- 
gin meeting their obligations to Chicago's 
poor 

On paper, the plan seems admirable. 
In practice, it isa disaster. New junior ad- 
ors are shutting down wards с 
priciously and scattering patients all ov 
the hospital. Doctors come to work and 
find that their patients have literally di 
appeared. Dr. Nick Rango, president of 
County's Residents and Interns Associa- 
i ken three or 
g patients. 
тиз cnd up in 
rds where nurses do not know their 

es, diseases, medi 


take 


patients end up in surgery wards. Derma. 


tology patients are shifted to obstet 
rical-gynecological wards. One night not 
long ago, the entire rectal surgery ward 
disappeared. 

The 15 rectalsurgery patients were 
eventually located in two new wards. But 
finding patients is only one current chal- 
lenge facing County's doctors. Equally dif 
ficult is admitting patients, because the 
administration prefers to accept only 
medical emergencies. Although many 
doctors oppose this policy, County's offi 
5 have ways to win compliance. Tall 

rung Dr. Rango says the an 
sture disturbs patient care 
ged for one of my clinic 


“I recently ari 
outpatients with high blood presure, 


obesity and diabetes to be admitted to the 
hospital. When I went to find out what 


ward she had been admitted to, I discov- 
cred she was transferred to another hospi- 
tal. No one could tell me which one she 
went to or who her new doctor was. The 
whole continuity of care was completely 
disturbed.” 

Pressure to turn away patients has 
some tragic consequences. On March 25, 
1972, 45-year-old Sammie Brow! as re- 
ferred to County for “emergency hospital- 
ization” by a private physician. He was 
taken to the hospital by police. X rays at 
County showed affecting 
about 80 percent of his lungs: he also suf- 
fered from acute diabetes. The foreign 
resident who examined Brown had been 
warned carlier that weck about admitting 
too many patients. At 4:35 r.w., he de- 
cided to send the man home over the pro- 
tests of a sister who had accompanied him. 
to the hospital. An hour later, Brown was 
brought back to Gounty and pronounced 
dead on arrival. He had suffered a fatal 
heart attack while waiting for a subway to 
take him home. The resident subsequent- 
ly quit the hospital under administrative 
pressure. 


te how many 
County patients have died in similar sit- 

ions,” says Chicago's leading hospital 
analyst, De Vise. "We figure that five to 
ten percent of Cook County's patients get 
tired of waiting for care and leave with- 
ont hei % impossible to guess 
how many of these people died for lack of 
medical attention. And now that County 
admissions have gone down, that num- 
ber is bound to increase. Many of these 
people consider County their doctor; 
ywhere else. 
s them down, they just. 


they don't want to go a 
When Co: 


parture of six out of ten medi- 
heads and 16 senio 
attending physicians since 1971 has seri- 
ously hurt the quality of care at County. 
Medical director Dr. Quentin Young is 
gradually finding replacements for most 
of these jobs. But domestic intern recru 
ing has been more difficult Of 198 new 
interns hired in 1972, 120 c 
abroad. This embarrassing si 
prompted some staff members to jokingly 
suggest that Dr. Haughton bring in 
George Halas to set up a domestic intern 
draft. Until that happens, serious com- 
munications problems will cont 
tween foreign-trained doctors and т 
who often have trouble understanding 
опе another's English, let alone the un- 
familiar dialects of patients, County unit 
administrators are understandably nerv- 
ous about being treated amid this con- 
fusion. That is why some of them take 
their personal medical problems to other 
hospitals. 


пис be- 


ies. 


Shortly before I left County, one of the 
facilis most persistent critics told me: 
“Bad as this place is, I can name you at 
least 40 hospitals in Chicago that are 


“It probably isn’1 going to pacify them, Chief.” 


worse. It’s shameful for us to be turning 
sick patients away. But it’s even worse 
for them to be hospitalizing healthy pa- 
tients.” That's because the overmedicated 
patient in the suburbs can be exposed 
to as many risks as the undermedicated 
one in the ghettos. Doctors who row 
tinely prescribe unnecessary drugs, hosp 
talization and surgery are exposing their 
tients to potential iatrogenic—or phiypi- 
aused—disease. Nearly every major 
advance in medical technology has 
brought new patient complications along 
with it. Thick me school texts de- 
scribe these frightening iatrogenic prob- 
lems by the hundreds. Cumulatively, 
these hazards m ze to offset much of 
the progress made by medical science in 
recent years, Consider: 
xtysix hundred patients die cach 
year due to hospitaladministered anes 
thesia. 

* An estimated 1000 patients die each 
year from adverse penicillin reactions. 

+ A study showing that five to ten 
percent of all hospital admissions are 


caused by adverse drug reactions. 

+ А clissic Yale-New Haven Hospital 
analysis showing that 20 percent of all pa- 
tients were made ill by medical treat- 

nent, 

+ These complica 
nificanily to ten percent of 
Haven Hospital deaths. 
ted out, these conservative 
figures indicate that ianogenic disease 
contributes to the death of 100,000 Amer- 
cans every ycar—some experts think the 
figure is closer to 200.000. 

These figures have persuaded тапу 
conscientious doctors to begin drastically 
ng hospitalization, drugs and sur- 
gery. Dr. Waldman, who is now a resident 
at Chicago's leading pediatric hospital, 
‘The other residents call me Old 
ways the last 
one to agree to hospitalization. For exam- 
ple, we admit kids with infectious hepati- 


ons contributed sig- 
1 Yale-New 


xtrapol 


down. Otherwise, the child is better off 
at home, because there is nothing we can 
do for him here. The minute you let a 


251 


PLAYBOY 


252 


patient in the door, you are exposing him 
to at least five new risks. He can be infect 
ed by another patient. The staff can ad 
ister the wrong medicine or the right 
medicine in the wrong dose. They can 
perform the wrong procedure or the right 
procedure on the wrong patient. Do you 
know wl a common mistake has been 
in суе surgery? Operating on the wrong 
eye. 

“A lot of our work here,” says the 29- 
year-old resident, "consists of undoing 
the mistakes of other doctors, We throw 
out about 80 percent of the medications 
prescribed by patients family doctors. 
Recently we were seeing a number of seri- 
ous infections started by some doctor who 
gave kids injections through their pants. 
He ran a shot mill, where every patient 
got an injection whether he needed it or 
not. Apparently, he didn't have time to 
remove their pants. He was tracked down 
and persuaded to revise his procedures. 
We have to spend a lot of time teach- 
ing mothers that a vast majority of all 
pediatric illness is self-limiting. The child 
will usually recover with no special medi- 
1 treatment at all. When my kid got gas- 
troenteritis, I took her off all solid foods 

id milk and put her on clear liqui 
with no medicine. She cleared up fine. 
But many private doctors will pr 
penicillin for gastroenteritis, even though 
its completely worthless. The big prob- 
lem is that we doctors have gotten so good 
at so many things that the public has 
come to expect an immediate solution for 
everything. If one doctor refuses to 
the kid a shot, his mother shops. 
she finds à doctor who will adminis- 
ter an injection. These physic 
child a disservice. Ten y 
in was commonly prescr 
of sepsis in a newborn. As of five years 
ago, roughly 75 percent of the organi: 
were resistant to the drug.” 

Some busy suburban doctors oblig- 
ingly hospitalize children in behalf of 
overwrought parents. One afternoon I 
drove out to Evanston Hospital, а first- 
class facility equipped with chapel, pub- 
lic cafeteria, gift shop and hordes of eager 
volunteers. The hospital is so well staffed 
that nurses actually have free time to 
keep up with their knitting. Dr. Jol 
b, a pediatric resident, showed me 
after patient who had no business 
ig there. On а tour of the pediatric 
ward, he told me: “Some of our admis- 
sions are of the ‘get the mother off my 
back’ variety. We get things like "stomach- 
aches to observe,” with the family doctor 
showing up once a day to write orders for 
eggnog, 

Among the patic 


ts in the ward was a 
young girl recovering from а bunionec- 
other with a mild urinary in- 
nd а third with laryngitis. A 
e been handled as 
ње her 
surance covered only inpatient 


fection 
teenager, who could һа 
an oi 
parents! 


treatment. of her muscular disorder. “1 
think we should be discouraging many of 
these admissions,” Dr. Schwab told me 
"Hospitalizing a child is a very heavy 
thing. I wish we could get the parents to 
understand these kids are safer at home.” 


leven pounds of organic pork! 

Dr. Wallace H. Livingston looked at 
the Boulder, Colorado, 
second time and lı 
his secretary and asked: "Js this right 
is billing his bronchial- 


' She nodded and Dr. Liv- 
ingston broke out laughing. 

‘The Denver internist had spent a long, 
hard morning going over insurance 
bchalf of the Metropolitan 
Foundation for Medi G 
As chairman of the foundation's peer 
review committee, Dr. Livingston had 
been busy knocking down the bogus 
ms of the shot doctors, fat doctors, 
rubberstamp doctors, whiplash doctors 
and other local charlatans preying on 
defenseless patients. He had seen the 
rum of nonsense diagnoses like. 
"cellular metabolic insufficiency" and 
“prehypoglycemia.” The doctor had 
ced at charges for urine cultures that 
pplicability to the patient's ail- 
- And he had blown up over totally 
fable steroid and antibiotic in- 
jections. But this allergist was really 
dreaming. 

When Dr. Livingston stopped laugh- 
ing, he looked out over the conference 
table full of insurance claims and said: 
“Doctors are my worst enemy. They 
are mean, ornery prima donnas who like 
to run around playing God. They are ar 
rogant, stubborn and slow to change their 
ways. Bur this is the first one 1 ever heard 
of who tried to run a butcher shop on the 
side.” Turning to his secretary, he de 
red: “Disallow the pork charge and see 
that this guy appears before the regional 
review committee. 

Traditionally, doctors ve been able 
то escape meaningful quality controls. 
Unlike airline pilots, who must go 
through semiannual physicals, regular те- 
training and check flights, most medical 
men are home free after they take their 
degree, complete internship and receive 
state licensure. That explains why ambi 
tious general practitioners across the na- 
tion perform difficult surgeries without 
the benefit of specialty t It also 
explains ES an elderly Santa Cl 
County, С 
found u 


disease patients in 1972. He just 
realized his colleagues had been using 
penicillin for V.D. over the past few 
decades 


OF course, most hospitals have peer’ 


out too many healthy appendixes Bur 
even when a hospital takes the radical 
step of kicking an unscrupulous physi- 
cian off its staff, no warning letter gocs 
out to his patients. The doctor merely 
moves to another hospital. In California, 
I learned of one doctor suspended from 
two hospitals for malpractice who 
went our and started his own hospital 

Many doctors believe this lack of q 
ity control is the most serious problem in 
American medicine. After all, they rea 
son, an airlinc is only as good as its worst 
pilot: a hospital is only as good as its 
worst doctor. Good physicians worry 
about their inability to drum bad men 
out of the profession. During my trip, I 
met numerous doctors who told me about 
flagrant malpractice cases they wanted to 
see brought to justice. In Chicago. a pedi- 
atrician discussed a doctor who had failed 
to do a routine blood transfusion on a 
kernicterus case (jaundice of the new 
horn). The jaundice got into the infant's 
brain, leaving him severely retarded. In 
Denver, a cardiologist told me about a 
cardiovascular surgeon who wrote и il- 
liant articles on surgical technique. Y 
when he went into the operating room, 
this man butchered patients to death. 
The surgeon simply could not handle a 
scalpel. Both physicians who told me 
about these cases said they had thought of 
giving the victims’ relatives the truth so 
they could sue fo Cice. Neither 
did. 


y to run 
ess, new eco- 
ls are beginning to curb 

eos chicanery. 
point. Four years 


nomic cont 


some of the most outi 


Denver case ii 
ago, the Californi: sed Kaiser Medical 
Foundation moved into town and set up 
shop. Kaiser, a prepaid group practic 
uses peer review to drastically reduce e: 
penses for 2,500.000 members conc 
trated in the West. Because its doctors all 
on salary, there is no incentive to 
overmedicate. Wellstructured review 
mechanisms eliminate needless treat- 
ment. Thus, Kaiser patients end up with 
50 percent less surgery and 30 percent less 
hospitalization than the national average. 
These cost savings enable Kaiser's doc 
tors, hospitals and clinics to offer full 
inpatient and outpatient coverage for 95 
percent less than the services cost on the 
private medi ally, the 


rrived in Denver, physi- 
would begin losing pa 
to the economical prepaid 
unless they began cutting down on excess 
costs. In self-defense, they organized the 
Metropolitan Denver Foundation for 
Medical Care, one of 89 such groups across 
the country. The foundation oversees 
claims on 180,000 patients who acquire 
health insurance through conventional 


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plans paid for by their employers. Co- 
operating health-ánsurance carriers write 
policies giving foundation patients broad 
coverage at a discounted rate. In return 
for this discount, the foundation agrees to 
establish fee ceilings and to police insur- 
ance claims of 1050 member doctors. 

I spent some time in the foundatioi 
busy office watching hundreds of claims 
go through the processing mill. Clerks 
all physician bills, pulling out those 
ive. They keep an eye 
about 50 M.D.s on 
ich list.” This highly 
confidential record carries the names of 
men who persistently hospi oper- 
ate, medicue and charge excessively. 
Some of them have enormous practices 
and most cater to affluent patients. 

During my visit, Dr. Livingston showed 
me some ol the day's claims. One came 
from a g.p. who had performed tonsillec- 
tomics on three children from the same 
family in the same weel harge sum- 
matics indicated no history of tonsillitis 
for any of the children. The tonsillec- 
tomy is America’s favorite operati 
About 1,190,000 are done annually 
most of them are unnecessary, Between 
200 and 300 children die each year be- 
cause of tonsillectomy complication 
Nearly all of the deaths are needless, be- 
cause informed medical opinion views 
the operation as a useless cure for a non- 
disease—or a self-limiting condition at 
worst. Scores of medical-journal articles 
as far back as 1885 document the case 
tonsillectomy and respected 
alionwide have given up the 


peeled for c 
the foundation's “wa 


These are some of the reasons Dr. Liv- 
ngston disallowed the entire $133 bill for 
uipleheader. Neither the doc 
tor nor the hospital received a penny. 
“This is one of our biggest problems,” he 
told me. "One out of four tonsillectomy 
claims involves a second member of the 
family. The doctor says it’s time for one 
Kid's tonsils to come out and the mother 
figures she might as well have the whole 
broad taken care of at the same time. At 
least the kids Gin keep one another com- 
pany in the hospital. A number of doctors 
encourage this, because that’s the way they 
make their living.” 

Dr. Livingston showed me another bil 
from a doctor who favored а handlul of 
diagnoses that he always stamped on 
claim forms. ‘This particular bill covered 
a husband-and-wife team afllicted by 
docrine dysfunction with obesity": “Her 
ve a stamp doctor who treats all his 
with four bogus therapies and 
©з them all $367.50. We routinely 
knock all his claims down to $114.50. I'm 
thinking of rejecting his claims with a 
stamp of my own." The utilization review 
chairman turned to another form: “Every 
one of these guys seems to have a favorite 
diagnosis. Here's one who always comes 
in with ‘menopausal syndrome and bron- 
ike every one of his fi 


male patients comes down with these two 
things simultancously. 

We also have a great deal of trouble 
with shot doctors. Look at this cl: $562 
for a yearlong series of itamin shots 
for a patient with ‘cellular metabolic in- 
sufficiency.’ That isn't a diagnosis, it's just 
a catchall, it’s just garbage. There's no jus- 
tification for treatment at all. Generally, 
we frown on injections when things can 
be given cheaper and safer orally. A Jot of. 
doctors are putting their kids through 
school with bogus injections." 

When I finished talking with Dr. Liv- 
ingston, I spoke with one of the claims 
dlerks. She told me: “Working at a place 
like this sure changes your ideas аро 
doctors. Let me show you this bill from 
a neurosurgeon who performed four 
craniotomies on the same patient. He had 
some technical difficulties the first time 
round and had to go back in three times 
to clean things up. We're disallowing 
three out of the four surgery charges. 
which will cost the doctor about 51500. 
He wrote us a long letter defending him- 
sell. It was really incriminating. If the 
tient could sec it, she'd have а good 
malpractice case against him." 

Later, the foundation's operations di- 


rector, Dean Russman, quantified what 
his coworkers had been showing me: 
“From our analysis here, we figure about 


five percent of the doctors in this commu- 
nity are practicing bad medicine. It 
would be helpful if cansumers would do 
a litte investigation on a new doctor like 
they do when they buy a new car. Of 
course, theres no way we could warn 
people about bad doctors without. legal 
reprisal. But even if we did, many pa- 
tients would Keep going to the quacks. 
People choose doctors for their personal- 
ity, not for their ability. We can dock the 
bad guys financially. But as long as the 
public remains medically ignorant, they'll 
have all the business they can handle. 

Three years ago, a delegation of Rich- 
mond, Indiana, physicians got in touch 
with the town fathers of nearby Liberty 
(population 1814) to ask if they could do 
something about that horrible sign in the 
village square: 1115 OWN NEEDS A росток. 
Jt was downright unethical, they said. for 
à town to advertise like tl The Rich- 
mond men promised to find. Liberty a 
doctor if the community removed the 
Liberty's leaders thought it over and 
decided to comply. Unfortunately, they've 
never heard another word out of the 
Richmond delegation. 

Few, if any, of America's doctorless 
towns have searched longer and harder 
for a physician than have the people of 
Liberty. Over the past six years, residents 
of this prosperous community, situated 
in prime eastern Indiana hog farming 
‚ have done everything short of 
idnaping a doctor, They have raised 
40,000 for a clinic, traveled to such 


cities as Cleveland, Cincinnati, Dayton, 
n паро nd St. Louis, while maki 
hundreds of long-distance phone calls in 
pursuit of an M.D. 

Liberty's problem is one that afflicts 
nearly every rural sector of America. It is 
rooted in tlie nationwide doctor shortage. 
Our country has 345,000 physicians, or 
one for every 589 potential patients. This 
ratio actually puts us behind such nations 
as the Soviet Union, where the doctor- 
patient ratio is one to 420. Federal au- 
thoriües want one doctor for every 500 
patients. which means we are short about 
61,000 physicians. Aggravating the short- 
age is the fact that M.D.s tend to con 
centrate in big urban centers like Boston, 
Chicago, Denver and Los Angeles, where 
the best hospitals, medical schools and 
cultural opportunities are located. Thus, 
rural counties with fewer than 10,000 
residents average only one doctor per 
2000 patients. About 500 communities 
with populations between 750 and 2500 
have no physici 

Actually, Liberty's residents are better 
off than they would be in most other doc 
torless towns. Those wl sick be- 
tween seven P.M Monday 
through TI t a tempor: 
Clinic. Its run by 


in Connersville. Unfortunately, he is un- 
able to accept cases involving hospitaliza- 
ion. Some elderly Liberty residents get 
periodic attention from a 77-year-old 
semuretired physician living town, 
This man doesn't take hospital cases, 
eithei 


Since few residents can get treatment. 


in town, they drive a cumulative total of 
173.000 miles annually to visit doctors 
in Richmond, Connersville and Oxford, 
Ohio. Many have no regular doctor and 
end up paying $50 for a routine emergen 
сутоот visit. Elderly residents who don't 
drive must spend $25 for an ambulance 
ride 1o the hosp en filling a prescrip 
tion means an outof-own drive, because 
Liberty's only drugstore closed in 1968. 
Residents of the town's handsome 
white frame houses, fronted with broad 
porches and shaded by towering maples, 
tend to put off their medical needs. In 


the spring of 1972, Mrs. Thomas Lawson, 
а local sixth-grade teacher, was hit by 


t have a family phys 
so 1 figured I'd doctor myself. On 
the last day of school, I was so sick I could 
barely walk without losing my breath. A 
couple of days later, I woke up and found 
1 couldn't breathe. So 1 got on the phone 
and collapsed. When X came to, I told 
the operator to send an ambulance to the 
post office, which is located across from 
my house. I went out and sat on the curb 
at 5:30 лм, until the ambulance arrived 
and ran me in to the Richmond hospital. 
When I got to the hospital. the emergen- 
cyroom physician asked who my doctor 
was. 1 told him: ‘My doctor died three 


“I don't have a que. . I just said Га 
like to put it to Miss Hotchk 


PLAYBOY 


256 


years ago, you be my doctor. So they 
admitted me for respiratory failure, pul- 
monary congestion and a heart condition. 
I spent five weeks in the hospital, includ. 
ing two on oxygen. 

“Му former Liberty doctor would have 
caught the whole thing in time if he'd 

n alive. "Ehe poor guy, we worked him 
lı. The town tried to find another 
doctor to help him out after his first heart 
attack in 1067. He practiced with a pace- 
maker for his Sick as he 
hat man saw patients right up to the 
weekend of his fatal heart attack.” 

Mrs. Elaine Stubb, a nurse who oper- 
ates the Park Manor Nursing Home with 
her husband, told me about some of the 
special problems of car i 
in a doctorless town. P. 
ndered past her ойсс door as she 
ked. “There are times when we can't. 
ind any doctors willing to drive over 
and sce our critically Ш patients. 1 can't 
tell you how many might have been saved 
by a local doctor with a defibrillator 
and medications to keep them out of 
shock. It’s more patients Шап I care to 
think about. 

Ve end up taking patients to the hos- 
pital at great expense for conditions any 
local physician could treat on the spot. 
‘The emergency rooms become unable to 
take care of real emergencies, because 
their facilities are crowded with patients 


w 


who should have been seen in a doctor's 
fice. 


The hospitals get down on us 
is. Recently, I was certain one of 
ur patients had suffered so I 

called McCullogh-Hyde Memorial Hos- 

i Oxford. Thcy told me not to 

bring her in, because they were full. I 

took her in anyway and they finally ac- 

cepted her. Hospitals really aren't. intei 
ested in elderly patients like ours. They 

feel it's better to let them dic. So now I 

don't call ahead om patients like that. 

1 just take them in." 

At the nearby trust department of 
Union County National Bank, Ted Mont- 
mery, Liberty's handsome young cham- 
herofcommerce president, offered an 
economic analysis: "Its the damnedest 
monopoly you ever saw. If any company 
had a strangle hold on a market the way 
doctors do on medical care, every poli- 

п in the country would be out to 
break it up. You know, most sellemployed. 
physicians in this country average $42,000 
а усаг. With 0 kind of income, it's not 
hard to see why none of them want to 
move to a place like this. They'll probably 
have to work harder for the same money. 
But there ought to be one doctor willing 
10 sacrifice a bit. Life here has advantages 
you can't put on a ledger. Frankly, I can't 

nderstand why а community that sup- 
ports seven attorneys is unable to support 
onc doctor. "Twenty years ago, Liberty 
had three doctors who made house calls, 

Today, it’s neatly impossible to get a doc- 

tor in to check us out.” 

Despite the frustrations, townspeople 


continue searching diligently for a doctor. 
Not long ago, the Ernest Millers drove to 
Indianapolis during the annual state 
medical exams. They took а two-room 
suite at Howard Johnson's, where шапу 
examinees were staying during the tests. 
State examiners pron d over 10 
to 15 doctors for interviews. Signs solicit 
hg candidates were posted around the 
motel. The Millers fiddled patiently about 
their expe nite for two days. Unfor- 
tunately, à motel mix-up on the Millers’ 
room number kept away doctors seeking 
them out. Not a single interview took 


rious and filed а long letter of protest 
with Howard Johnson s. The motel never 


When the doctor returned to h 
from morning rounds 
mann Hospit 
the desk. Ope 


s office 
Houston's Her- 
, a letter awaited hı 
ing it, he read of his 
porary suspension fom Hermanis stall 
for failing to keep patient records up 
to date. Then the young physician 
tossed the communication into his waste- 
basket. 

“Nothing to get upset about, I get sus- 
pended all the time, It’s routine. When- 
ever a doctor gets behind on three patient 
records, they do this. 105 impossible to 
keep up. To tell you the truth, I'm not 
even sure how many patients I have in 
the hospital right now. I don't have as 
much time to devote to patients as Mar- 
cus Welby. I'll just admit patients under 

nother doctors name until I get my 
records cleaned up." 

The doctor, a cancer speci 
so busy he's not even 
cascs arc under hiis care: 
between 2000 and 3000. 
time, he has 


ist, keeps 
е how many 
"Its somewhere 
At any given 


gnostic 
Center Hospital "The later is a pro- 
prictary facility linked by a p g ramp 
with the cightstory Diagnostic Clinic of 
Houston. This clinic, a partnership of 
45 physicians, is his home base. 
What distinguishes this slim, fast-talk- 
g M.D. from his colleagues is a complete 
lick of bedside manner, He regularly 
runs through the wards at a rate of ten 
patients per hour, His brusque manner 
disturbs many whe expect the kind of 
compassion dispensed by TV doctor 
Just today, a patient's relatives fired him 
for his coldhearted attitude. The doctor, 
whose brown hair is thinning noticeably 
after six years of practice, recognizes the 
problem but refuses to change his ways: 
"Good doctors don't have time to take a 
nterest in their patients these 
ng a lot of really sick people. 
€ are days when two or three of my 
patients die on me. I don't have the ра 
tience to sit around holding hands, tell- 
ing jokes and giving needless shots for 
psychosomatic problems. 

‘Some guys limit th 


practice so they 


сап have more 
never going to do that. This place 
a bank. We're open for business every d 
of the week. Anyone who can afford us 
сап come here. Our clinic doesn’t exclude 
anyone except gypsies, "They just run up 
too many bad debts.” 
Diagnostic Clinic and Center bask in 
"ternational reputation of Texas 
Center across the 5 
ir conditioning, this 210. 
has surmounted Houston's Liberianlike 
dimate to become Ame astest-grow: 
ing health-care complex. "Ehe mélange ol 
buildings in halLa-dozen clashing archi- 
tectural styles houses а scene that would 
drive Liberty, Indiana, visitors wild with 
envy. Over 900 physicians work at seven 
hospitals, three research-and-rehabilita 
tion institutes and two medical schools. 
Other units include a nursing school 
dental school and a religious institute, 
where chaplains learn how to comfort the 
grieved. Nearby, the city's reigning surgi 
cal superstars, Drs. Michael DeBakey and 
Denton Cooley, run their open-heart av 
sembly linc 
Largely because Diagnostics men are 
associated with this prestigious medical 
center, 500 new patients a week flock to 
the modernistic beige-brick clinic and 
hospital. Patients from 25 nations on fivc 
continents visit the flourishing group prac 
пісе. Among them are the vice-president 
of Guatemala, the head of ihe Mexican 
secret police. bishops. generals, Congress. 


to 


a's 


women and numcrous Texas million- 
aires. "You have to be very careful how 


yon judge ne 
doctor says. 


patients around here,” the 
Guys worth $40,000,000 
1000.000 show up in jeans and 
work shirts.” 

Between 1971 and 1972, Diagnostic’s 
hospital census and surgeries went up 
more than ten percent. Profitability of 
the hospital (owned by Hospital Corpo- 

tion of America) is enhanced by its 
failure to offer maternity and major em 
gency-room service: 
money. The su 
nearby is the m: 
hospital corpor. 


both of which lose 


vss of similar ventures 
reason [our major 
ons are building or 
expanding facilities in Houston. Biggest 
of these will be Doctors Center, a 
$200,000.000 complex dominated by 
story professional building. This one is 
a joint venture between Hilton Hotels 
and Bud Adams, owner of the Houston 
Oilers. 

Services at these new medical facilities 
aren't cheap. At Diagnostic, basic consul 
tations are $50. Physicals average $250 
d can run to $500. With computerized 
multiphasic screening, 40 patients a day 
can be given complete checkups. Re- 
sults from E.K.Gs, urinalyses, 1 
tests, eye exams, blood-pressure readings, 
blood-sugar checks, erc., feed directly into 
the clinic computer, The lab has highly 
automated machines that can perform 12 
blood tests in just eight minutes. Radiolo- 
ists can punch X-ray results directly into 


patient records via computer link. "The 
president of a Houston-based oil com- 
pany was so impressed by his recent Diag- 
nostic physical that 250 other executives 
of the firm subsequently went there for 
checkups of their own. 

"What we are doing here," the doctor 
says during a guided tour, ing up. 
for socialized medicine. The Government 
will throw out the best of what we have 
and keep the worst. sponsored 
clinics will treat people yare V.A- 
hospital patients, forcing them to wait all 
day to sce a doctor, Pretty soon everyone 
who can afford it will be running back to 
places like ours. That's why doctors and 
private corporations are building these 
proprietary hospitals and affiliated clin- 
ics. We're going to clean up, and I'm not 


ary and I de- 
serve every penny of it. Actually, doctors 
like me are really underp: 
companies won't pay us what w 
worth, so we have to make it up on lab 
and X-ray charges. You know, this is a 
business, just like anything else. I'm in 
the black and that's all саге about.” 

He had underscored this point the 
night before in the room of a breast-can- 
cer patient hospitalized at Hermann. A 
sunburned visitor paying his respects told 
the physician about his wife's blecding 
ulcer: “I want her to come in and sce you. 
but we can't afford it,” 

‘The doctor thought about that lor 
a second while examini 
patient: “Don't you lı 
coverag 

"She's a substitute teacher and incligi- 
ble for the school board's group pla 

“Well, you should dig up the money 

1. If you don’t bring her 
really going to bust loose 
one of these days. Then it will cost you a 
whole lot more to fix her up.” 

"E know; sure wish we could afford 
you." 

Later, as the doctor jumped into his 
Buick to rush home for a P. T. A. mect- 
ing, he reflected on the couple's problem: 
“People are really careless about their 
health. If you don't have your health, 
you don't have an p 

This physician doesn’t lose much sleep 
over people who refuse to take care of 
themselves: "Sooner or later, they'll have 
to come see us. We're like food 
booze, everyone needs us." Today, 
з, the doctor is one of the busiest 
the dinic. His patients are backed 
up in the waiting room. New ones caa 
catch a rare glimpse of him standing still. 
A full-color portrait shows him posing at 
home. Similar pictures of his colleagues 
line the reception-area walls. 

‘The doctor is moving faster than usual 
this Friday morning, because he plans to 
take off early for a weekend of R&R in 
San Antonio with his wife. “We'll get a 
big room at the St. Anthony, listen to 


g his cancer 
insurance 


On October 28, 1972, 
Emerson Chipps stopped 
by the Candlelight Lounge 
and ordered a bourbon and soda. 

Just as he has every Thursday evening 
since 1953. For 19 years the 
Candlelight Lounge 
served Emerson Chipps, 
Early Times. 

On October 28, 1972, 
they did not. 

Goodbye, Mr. Chipps. 


To know us is to love us. 


Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whisky * 86 Proof = Early Times Distillery Co. Louisville, Ky OETDC 1973 


257 


PLAYBOY 


258 


some jazz down at The Landing, carry а 
hottle back to the hotel and unwind,” he 
says wistfully. "No phone, no kids and no 
patients.” 

Right now, though, he must examine a 
d ой сотрапу mechanic with 
terrible pains in his left leg. For the past 
seven months, th has been going to. 
the M. D. Anderson Hospital and Tumor 
Institute down the street. At Anderson, 
one of America’s leading canceracscarch- 
and-treatment centers, the problem was 
diagnosed as bursitis and treated with an 
antiinflammatory agent. Unimproved by 
Anderson's treatment, he had come to 
the doctor, who immediately ordered a 
xerogram and am (two soplis- 
volving xerog- 


п elderly woman, 
а fistula (hollow area) be- 
en the bowel and the colon. The 
internist orders her hospitalized immedi- 
ately at Diagnostic and rashes back to his 
oflice vo phone a surgeon: “She is big and 
old and fat and you are going to have one 
hell of a selling job on the colostomy.” As 
the M.D. hangs up, а nurse comes in with 
a fresh E.K.G. He glances at the report 
and dials another numbei 
here. Just wanted to tell you 

looks OK. Now, when did I tell y 
come back—in six weeks or six months: 

Then th 


twi 


patient who had flown up for consult 
ion. On s 
$1,000,000 worth of business with М 
can patients alone.” After looking in on 
several other cases, the doctor heads for 
lunch in the stall dining 
While he nibbles at a chili dog, 
gue whe nt alle 
own red blood cells. The medical men all 
put down their food to cluster around the 
patient for a doser look. 

In ше afternoon, the doctors first 
patient is an amputee. He recently un- 


derwent a modified hemipelvectomy, sev- 


ng of the right leg at his pelvis, 10 
remove а sarcoma. Aside from some diffi- 
culty sitting on his stump and swollen 
testides, the elderly patient has no com- 
The internist couldn't be more 
: "For a while there, we didn't 
nk you were going to make it. When 
t artery broke loose from the suture, 
you lost 17,000 ces of fluid, went into 
rt failure, kidney failure and 
Jona. H those nurses hadn't kept a 
ireful eye on you after the surgery, you 
wouldn't be here today. You know, we 
d the best man in Houston doing that 
Dick M Afterward, he told 
the first time anything like 
ppened in over 100 patients. 
Dick felt awful, because that was his first 
surgery at Her trying to 
make a good impression." 
After of 
other dl 


hal 
doctor w 


a-dozen 


iks 


through the parking ramp to reach Diag- 
nostic. After authorizing the release oL 
one patient who suffered a temporary 
memory loss following a bad fall, he re- 
turns to the nurses’ station and. phones 
central records. Fist he dictates a di 
charge summary with 
“oansient ischen 
dictates ап admission summ: 
same patient with an ence 
chemic attack. 
over to see a kidney.stone patient, the in- 
ternist laughs. "You come out looking 
pretty smart when you do it that way.” 
When he finishes examining his kidney 
case and seven cancer victims, the physi- 
cian heads over to radiology for a look at 
the mechanics leg X rays. A quick check 
shows he has a sarcoma in the left hip. 
‘The doctor quietly tells the radiologi 


he 


Then 
y on the 


“Looks like he's going to be my second 
modified hemipelvectomy, Guess ГИ 


bring in Dick Martin to ruin his career as 
a mechanic.” Just before walking out, he 
ughingly asks the radiologist "What 
else can you do for me tod. 

As he heads down to break the had 
news to his newest cancer patient, the 
doctor sounds proud of himself: “That's 
the fastest consult I've ever donc. I found 
that sarcoma in six hours. Boy, wait until 
they hear about this one back over at An- 
derson; bursitis, my ass. He was probably 
seen by onc of the junior men who didn't 
give a shit. 1 guess this is going to be one 
of their notable misses Heads are really 
going to roll. The irony is th sur- 
geon who will chop ofi his leg is based at 
Anderson.” 

When he emerges from the mechanic's 
room, the doctor say m he had 


involve radical surg 
T just understated the 
get him thinking about it. That v 
be psychologically ready for 
by the time we're set to cut. If I h 
him the truth, 1 wouldn't be able to 20 
to San Antonio this меске d have 
to stick around. keeping an eye on him, to 
prevent a psychotic break. It’s what we 
doctors call patient managemen 
Rushing hack to his office after rounds, 
the physician cleans up a few pieces of 
paperwork. Then he changes into a 
bro ick sports coat and heads off 
for the long weekend, Unfortunately, the 
th is blocked by his nurse, who 
I need your auto- 


M.D.’ | 


hands back the 
Hang on to that 
be worth 


n with the 
doctor to see how his second modified. 
hemipelyectomy had gone. "Well" he 
told me, “that turned real interest- 
d the X 
necessitating 
the bad news to 


dit was 
jon. We brok 


nd agr 
amput 


the mechanic, who went home for two 
weeks to quit his job, which involved 
oilcompany work world wide. After his 
affairs were in order, he checked into An 
derson for surgery. But a biopsy showed 
no sarcoma. He simply had recurrence of 
a testicular seminoma, a germinal tumor 
that had been taken out in 1971. We can 
celed the operation and knocked the can- 
cer out with N-ray therapy. The mechanic 
is back on the job. You just can't be sure 
of anything in this business.") 


“We don't care about the kind of pa- 
ients we get,” says Dr. Donald Kelly 
"With the law of large numbers, we cau 
е re of any populace anywhere 
California, France, India, you name it. 
‘The 10-year-old leader of Los Angeles- 
based HMO International, a mushroom- 
ing prepaid-grouphealth plan, hasn't 
hep: iations in Calcutta yet. But 
i 110.000 California pa- 
rench health 


tients and is 


lenders about a contract that would 
cover 30,000 to 40,000 Pa ns. Dr. Kelly 
believes his company and others like it 


eller the final solution to America's 
health-care aisis. With the help of for- 
cign governments, he dreams of revolu- 
tionizing medical treatment in the slums 
of Rio as well as in the streets of San 
isco—all at a reasonable profit. 
His primary focus and major challenge 
ight now is tie American market. How 
docs he plan to turn around а sickness 
oriented health-caredelivery system that 
eschews preventive medicine in favor of 
last-minute technological solutions? Сап 
he adequately handle new patients who 
lack medical histories because the nation 
has no central patient-file system? Will he 
ble to find new physicians to handle 
nner-city patients. victimized 
by the absence of comprehensive national 
health planning? Is there a way to curb 
M.Dss who overmedicate? Сап he estab- 
lish effective peer ns for 
doctors who have traditionally been able 
y life tenu ay they 
completed t 
"With the law of large numbers, we can 
do anything,” says Dr. Kelly in his 15th- 


less 


'eview mechani 


publicrelations man nod. They are sit- 
ting on his maroon-corduroy couch be- 
neath the crescent-shaped mirrors framed 
by English griffins. The president, who 
likes to go barefoot about his office in 
jeans and sport shirts, is wearing his 
-piece pinstripe sui 
New York, The doctor privately calls it 
his "stockholder's 

Th al 


Kelly has 
glish partner's 
antique desk is vital to the company's 
rgely why HMO's subsidi 
1 Group (CMC 
bly enroll 50,000 
0) patients 


has been able ro profi 
Medi-Cal (publicaid-recipie 


during the past year. Under this plan, 
СМС contracts with the state to provide 
complete medical services for cach. Medi. 
Cal case at a fixed fee of around 590 a 
month. 

Dr. Kelly, sunburned from a recent ski 
trip, says thar these poor patients’ acute 
medical needs are ollset by their under- 
utilization of certain costly 
“Take physical exams, for example. Our 
coverage includes free checkups. П every 
one of our Medi-Cal patients came in for 
annual physical. we would be out of 


services: 


business. But, in reality, only about 20 
percent actually come in for complete 
checkups cach year, so we're OK. That's 
the Law of large numbers. Out ol any pa- 
tient population, only a fraction is go 
ing to use any given medical service. With 
our prior patient experience, we can set 


up an actuarial basis for determining 
costs and fees. You take the number of 
patients times the estimated annual cost 
of service per patient, divide by 12 and 
there's your monthly premium. Using this 
formula, we can provide prepaid health 
coverage for any group in the world.” 

With CMG's patients, Dr. Kelly can 
work out the medical economics that will 
HMO across the country and 
round the world: “The key to our busi- 
people out of the hospital. 
> hospitalization stay in the 
nt days. Kaiser is six and we are 
four. Every one of our hospitalizations re 
quires 


approval from supervisory per- 


carry 


New Rapid-Shave Cologne Scent 
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Because this Rapid-Shave 
surrounds your face with the 
scent of expensive colog! 
A classy fragrance. Ina 
Classy shave cream. 

So tomorrow morning, 
give your face what it 
deserves. Elegance. 
With new Rapid-Shave® 
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One more reason 
we can say... 


we never met a face 
we didnt like. 


sonnel. We сап do many things like 
biopsies, tonsillectomies, dilatation and 
curettage without overnight. hospitaliza- 
Геле got a fine surgeon who can do 
some hernia repairs under local anesthet- 
ic. When our hernia patients do have to 
go to the hospital, they come out in two 
days. Most other places. it's four or five." 
CMG's mellifluous medical director, 
Dr. Toby Freedman. who has just joined 
ihe conversation, says: "We encour 
our doctors to be a little more imagin 
tive. a little freer. They know they are 
supposed to transfer patients out as soon 
as they can. If someone doesn't have 
onc at home to take care of him, tl 
problem, not ours. We have very efficient 
doctors. Recently, Don had a lipoma on 
his back that looked like it could be ma- 
We decided to take it off. The 
deep, but not malignant 
The doctor sewed him up and Don was 


out playing tennis the next afternoon. 
Isn't that right, Don?” 

“You bet,” says Dr. Kelly. 

Finding good doctors is crucial to the 


future of Dr. Kelly's organization. An 
isme medical director say The 
e is getting the best men. Our 


no problem. We start out many of 
our Specialists at 550,000. They all like 
coming to work for an outfit that has a 
40-hour week. Everyone looks forward to 
a month off for vacition 
each year. All of them are 
n joining the company’s tax- 


and 


shelter pl. 
sells them’ 


п. But you know what really 
The car: we throw in а [rec 
car. They get their choice of a Cadillac or 
a Mercedes. That’s really our most potent 
recruiting weapon; we always hold it out 
for last. There've been a number of doc 
tors right on the fence who completely 
llipped out when we told them about the 
Cadillac or the Mercedes. As soon as they 
heard that. they were totally sold on our 
kind of medicine. You sec, a lot of doctors 
won't treat themselves to the things they 
deserve. Many doctors would love to 
drive a Cadillac or a Mercedes, but they 
won't indulge themselves. However, il 
the car is shoved in their face, they'll say 
shit, why not? OF course, they don’t have 
to take а Cadillac or a Mercedes. They 
сап have another luxury car, such as а 
Porsche, if they wa 


tone. But that costs 
us more, because we don't 
discount we enjoy on the С 
Mercedes. For a Porsche, they 
chip in $20 а month out of their y 
Hell. 1 mean, we're not made of gold or 


anything, 


et the volume 


dillac and the 


Dr. Kelly’s corporation is only one of 


half-a-dozen Los Angeles group-health or- 
ganizations with eyes on the national mar. 
ket. All these companies are among the 
25 contractors recently selected by Cali 
fornia to enroll up to 164,000 Medi-Cal 
patients on а prepaid basis 
are expected to run ten perce 


the old fee-lorservice reimbursement 


State costs 


less than 


system. In a desperate effort 10 sign 
up Medi-Cal patients, the contractors. (o 
cated primarily in Southern California) 
began bombarding ghetto communities 
with letters and solicitors during the sum 
mer of 1972. With contractors footing 
the bill, the state obligingly mailed out 
officiallooking envelopes to Medi-Cal те 
cipients cligible for the new prepaid pro- 
gram. On the outside was a Sacramento 
postmark and this announcement: IM- 
PORTANT MEDICAL BULLETIN ENCLOSED. 
On the inside was sales literature. One 
enterprising contractor sent recruiters 
wearing white nurses’ uniforms into pro- 
spective neighborhoods. Some aggressive 
solicitors signed up patients 10 to 15 
miles from their medical group's nearest 
clinic. Recruiters representing differen 
contractors competed with one another 
block by block, sometimes door by door. 
Local doctor: 
derstandably dismayed about losing p: 
tients and customers to these prep: 
groups. Physicians began posting sig 
their waiting rooms telling Medi-Cal pa- 
ients not to sign with contractors. Pha 
macists put similar notices in with the 
prescriptions. And doctors across South- 
ern California began flooding the Los 
Angeles County Medical Association with 
documentation on numerous cascs of pa- 
ient mistreatment at the hands of their 
new prepaid competitors. In an unprec 
edented display of candor, the medical as- 
n made about 100 of these stories 


PLAYBOY 


soria 
public. 

The state stood by all contractors 
but one, Comprehensive Health Services. 
This group was supposed to provide full 
coverage for 20,000 Medi-Cal patients in 
Orange County. Several exposés by Rob- 
ert Fairbanks of the Los Angeles Times 
revealed how this company actually start- 
ed out in the discount-wine business. 
Two state legislators enjoying direct fi- 
ionships with Compreher 
1 done the company big favors. 

One helped nudge a special bill through 
the legislature that permitted wine œm- 
рә to own hospitals. The other 
helped set up the firm's Medi-Cal con- 
tract. State officials tried to ignore the 
revelations until it was disclosed that one 
of Comprehensive's hospitals, Broadway 
General in An was substandard. 
This facility had been disapproved by 
both the California Medical Association 
and the Joint Commission on Hospi 
Accreditation. This meant the state had 
violated its own rule requ 
tors to send Medi-Cal p: 
tals that had been approved by at least 
one of the two groups. The Comprehen- 
sive contract canceled in January 
of this year. In February, the firm filed for 
bankruptcy and was hit by a $47,860 IRS 
tax lien. 
No one feels worse about the bad pub- 
licity шап Dr. Bruce Frome at Marvi 
260 Health Services. Here he is, working 14- 


hour days in his Los Angeles office, 
ig a red-eye flight to th t Coast for 
meetings and then catching another 
sleepless flight back to work on Wilshire 
Boulevard. Here he is. 
group-health care in New Jersey, Ind 

ana, Michigan, Illinois and several other 
states. Here he is, hoping to push business 
up tenfold to $100,000.000 annually in 
one year and the clowns are messing 
things up. 

“Changing America's health-care-deliv- 
ery system is not an easy job,” the boyish 
looking doctor tells me. “There are bound 
to be growing pains for companies like 
ours. T knew that from the beginning 
Making moncy in prepaid health care is 
a real challenge. To tell you the truth. I 
didn’t even want to get into this business, 
In the old days, I rose in Bel Air and 
drove down to the largest practice in 
Watts. There I was running the Marvin 
Clinic with two other doctors, working 
hard and making а fortune. But when the 
state announced it was going to enroll 
Medi-Cal patients in this prepaid pro- 
gram, I realized my kind of practice was 
through. Sure I could move, but in five 
years this prepaid thing will be all over 
the country. That meant starting Marvin 
Health Services or losing all my patients 
to someone else's group plan. I decided to 
form the company and get the state con- 
tract for up to 30,000 Medi-Cal patients. 

Dr. Frome pauscs and reaches into his 
office desk for а cigar. “Sure I ran into re. 
cruiting problems at first. I was ideal 
my first inclination was to hire 20 of my 
welfare patients and Iet them do soli 
tion. Naturally, I expected them to go 
next door and enroll their neighbors. In- 
stead, they hung around the office all day 
and just signed up my regular patients, 
In the first two weeks, they enrolled 1576 
patients. Of course, those were the sick 
id pregnant ones. God, in the first 
month we had to deliver six babies under. 
the prepaid plan. We'd gotten only 521 
from the state for each of these women 
and they were hitting us with $400 de- 
liveries. It was terrible. We just got killed 
that first month,’ 

Cigar smoke clouds the room as Mar- 
vin's leader continues: “We decided to 
shife to a prof enrollment organ 
zation that sent 300 people out door to 
door. Well, you can imagine any time you 
300 people going door to door sell- 
ng anything on commission, there 
going to be a certain amount of misrep- 
resentation. Especially when they are 
g with other companies. I'm 
sure some people were confused when 
they signed up for Marvin. Some of them 
probably thought they were s 
tions to recall Governor Reagar 
ddenly, Dr. Frome is co 
g a stack of privateinvestiga 
reports off his desk into my arms. “Check 
some of these out. We discovered so many 
mployees with drug convictions and fel. 


ony arrests we had to turn to this. Look at 
some of these people who want to work 
for us.” I sec that several applicants have 
police records two and three pages long. 


Half the girls who apply for pharmacy 
work have been arrested оп pushing 
charges. 

“Pioneering is tough. In December 


1971, at the old Marvin Clinic in Waus, 
someone put a bullet hole in my Cad 
illacs windshield. One of the doctors 
working there had his throat slit when he 
walked out the door a couple of weeks 
Inter. He lived, but things like that would 
never have happened before this corpori- 
tion got going." 

Dr. Frome firmly believes the future of 
company, the burgeoning prepaid- 
health-care business and American medi- 
cine itself lies in keeping patients well: 
"We have 20,000 people enrolled right 
now and 85 percent don't bother us 
much. The problem is that the other 15 
percent are monopolizing our 29 clinics 
and emergency centers. Obviously, the 
wick is to keep that 15 percent away. 
We're doing that now with our computer. 
ng out the name of every patient 
more than $500 worth of medi- 
cal services in 90 days. In a few months, 
we hope to put cach of them through a 
behavioralad justment system designed to 
keep hypochondriacs away. The whole 
thing is really very simple. These pa- 
tients are isolated in booths and bom- 
barded with unintelligi s lor 90 
minutes. This noise shuts down their cen- 
tral cortex, making them brainwashable 
Then all we have to do is feed in а cis 
sette. full of sugges Stop drinking, 
sleep more, stop worrying, cat right, take 

stop Visiting the doctor. We can 
nt recruiting simultancously by 
ing friends in to enroll. 
Thus, we get rid of expensive patients 
and attract new members at no cost. Ob- 
viously, a system like this could be dan- 
gerous in the wrong hands, but we know 
what we're doing. 

Six weeks later, I checked in on Dr. 
Frome and found that Marvin Health 
Services was doing fine but that he had 
vun into trouble. One of his consultants 
in Chicago had attempted to sell the 
Marvin concept to Teamster president 
Frank Fivsimmons through an intermedi- 
ary. "Everything was going fine,” says Dr. 
Frome, “until one morning in late Feb- 
тагу, when two FBI agents picked me up 
outside my office. 

‘They took me across the street to a 
Nibblers restaurant and told me this in- 
termediary was connected with a Mafia 
front. I was shocked, of course, and we cut 
off talks with the Teamsters right away 
But the state Department of Health Care 
Services panicked when they heard the 
story. They were frightened about bad 
publicity that might come from public 
disclosure of the fact that one of their 
prime Medi-Cal contractors had been 


le sound 


PLAYBOY 


dealing with Mafia types. We got the 
message that unless there was a big 
shake-up in my company, they might not 
renew our Medi-Ca 

Dr. Frome resigned from Магу 
Health Services March and resumed 
private practice and work ar the Marvin 
с in Watts. He figures to lose rough 
ly $250,000 due to his untimely resîgl 
tion from the company. “That's life; 
mes you get bumped off,” says Dr. 
Frome philosophically. “Well, at least I 
got a free Nibblers breakfast out of 
the FBI 


When I returned home from my odys- 
sey through America’s medical empire. 
large packet awaited me from Gilbert 
the A.M.A.’s m Ja- 
tions division. Handsomely out 
books, pamphlets, brochures and surveys 
in purples, oranges, blues and greens 
popped out at me. There was even a 185- 
page guide to the A.M.A.’s stand on 250 
issues of the day, ranging from accident 
prevention (pro) to zoonoses (con). 

I was particularly taken by a summary 
of a recent Harris Poll measuring confi- 
dence in the leadership of 16 national or- 
ations, Medicine ranked first; the 
press was 13th. Had Martin slipped that 
in as a hint, I wondered? Was that sup- 
posed to be fair warning to fourth-estate 
members who might try to shake public 
faith in American medicine? 
ga threat, E decided to scan the 
A. literature, looking hard for the 
bright side. Here is a taste of the good 
news the А.М.А. has for those who th: 
something might be amiss with Ameri 
һай care-delivery system 

* Only 311,000 Am. 
1 inju 
hospital treatment in 19 

+ Of these victims, a mere 
because of "medical or surgical complica- 
tions or misadventures 
ewer than 50 percent of all adverse 
incidents occurring im hospital patient 
weatment now result in malpractice 
claims. 

+ A mere 6160 doctors lost malprac 
in 1970. 

The A.M.A.. which represents 60 per- 
cent of the nation’s doctors, is also quick 
10 point out that medical men don't make 
iis much as everyone thinks. That average 
yearly salary of 512,000 is based on a typi- 
cal 62-hour work weck. Scaled down to а 
xandard 40-hour weck, that works out to 
bout a paltry $27,000 annually. If the 
А.М.А. sounds a little defensive h 
that’s understandable. After all, this is 
the organization that persuaded medical 
schools to reduce their class size during 
the Depression due to an imaginary over- 
supply of physicians. The association pro- 
moted the view that Am had 25.000 
more physicians than it needed. Prospec- 
tive medical students were warned that 
the profession was overcrowded. Tl 


died 


ice 


262 policy wasn't reversed until 1951, and the 


public is still pa 

today’s doctor shortage 

inflation of fees. 
Today's А.М.А. fights I 


g for it in terms of 
id consequent 


system. But when defects of this system 
are pointed out, end medicine ab- 
solves itself of responsib з 
Parrott, chairman in jl ot the AMA's 
board of trustees, speaks for his profession 
when he claims: “No matter how drastic 
a change is made in our medical-care sys- 
tem, no matter how massive а program of 
national health insurance is undertaken, 
no matter what sort of system evolves, 
many of the really significant causes of 
ill-health will remain largely unaffected. 
We should keep in mind that medicine 
is relatively powerless before many of 
the major health concerns that trouble 
ma 

T thought about this professed inability 
of the medical profession to improve pub. 
lic health one night while leafing through 
copies of Rx Sports and Travel, a hand- 
some leisure magazine sent free to phys 
cians, It’s the kind of publication you 
probably won't find lying around in your 
doctor's waiting room. That's because it 
gives such a vivid view of the tortures to- 
days M.D.s are subjected to. Looking 
through the magazine, you sec all the ter- 
rible decisions he is forced to make. How 
shall he do the Caribbean this year? 
Should he go “posh” at 53600 per weck 
on a 79.fnot ketch or есе e ona 
“first-class” 4l-footer at a mere $968 
weekly? What about this American Revo- 
lution bicentennial-collection chess set 
with each piece a different symbol of 
liberty? Should he spend $1410 for the 
sterlingsilver edition or spring $19,200 
for the 14-kt-gold set? Perhaps he would 
be better off with а $1500 porcelain bobo- 
link sculpture or a $2000 reproduction of 
the 1873 trapdoor Springfield used cx- 
ely by members of the Seventh 


us 


and the artides on 
ns building private waterskiing 
s, I got the feeling that doctors have 
n better care of themselves than of 
their patients, I found it hard to believe 
that the same men who had made medi- 
cine the most affluent profession in the 
country were “relatively powerless” when 
it came to improving the nation's health- 
care system. 

It seems to me that they are about as 
powerless as the auto makers who boast of 
their superb engineering ability until the 
Government asks them to put effective. 
Iution-control devices on 
remain powerless by ch 
to break up а monopolistic medical em- 
pire oriented toward their own financi: 
health, not their p well-being. 
While perpetuating America’s second-rate 
health-care-delivery system, — physicians 
use the АМА. and the rest of organized 
medicine to spout lip service about the 


need for such things as better preventive 
medicine and patient education, But in 
day-to-day practice, they work against 
these much-needed reforms. 

Solid economic reasons lie behind this 
сву. Preventive medicine is very 
time-consuming for the doctor and not 
particularly lucrative, Why should he de 
vote half an hour to teaching а patient 
how to avoid illness when he can give six 
patients pen shots in the 
? No matter that the 
injections are worthless because none of 
the patients has а positive strep-thr: 
culture. The physician still comes out 
ahead financially. 

M.Ds prefer keeping their pati 
in substantial ignorance about medi 
practice for similar reasons, Educated pa 
tients can cost them money. Consider just 
a few of the countless examples. Over the 
past decade, the Roswell-Park Research 
Institute in Buffalo has conclusively cs 
ished that postoperative radiation 
treatments for breast-cancer patients are 
of no lifesaving value and may actually be 
injurious. Yet radiologists nationwide 
continue irradi n following 
breast surgery. If these cancer victims 
knew about the Roswell-Park work and 
refused to accept treatment, radiologists 
would lose a major source of busin: 


Similarly, surgeons would be substan- 


tially depr 
ply of p 


d of their largest single sup- 
tients if parents knew about the 
dubious value of most children's to: 
Jectomi If informed patients began 
consulting the Physicians’ Desk Refer- 
ence to weigh a proposed injection series’ 
ide effects against its benefits, they might 
cancel treatment. 

Certainly, there are some conscientious 
doctors who do place proper emphasis on 
preventive medicine and patient educa- 
ion. But most of them are not treating 
the patients who need them most In 
Chicago, for example, most of the top 
specialists are not devoting their careers 
10 the multiple-discase problems rampant 
among ghetto residents. Instead, they are 
out iddle- and upper-income areas, 

ag to overimedicate а much health- 

er populace, Modern American medical 
technology is simply not being eflec 
ely applied where it is most desperately 
needed, Instead, it is being overutilized 
mong pati do not need 


ients who обе 
it—sometimes with iatrogenic problems 
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get the balanced care they need. The re- 
sults are evident in our stagnant mortal 
ty statistics that put us behind many less 
advanced nations, But there is no point 
in being discouraged by the fact that wi 
rank 23rd in malc life expectancy, sev- 
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[>] 


CALLOWAYS СИМВ oeron o.20, 


rather be up here with. Do you believe 
that? 

She shook her head. 

"Don't do this, Nils.” she said. "Those 
boys need our help. If you're ready to go, 
you better go.” 

He felt angry that he had opened him- 
self to her and a need now to be cruel 

“All right, fine,” he said, already begin: 
ning to climb. “Try not to ery, will you. 
because if you do cry, you'll have trouble 
handling the rope. 

"Don't worry about how I handle the 
rope,” she replied, as if he were no longer 
a central fact of her life, no longer worthy 
of her anger, "Look," she said. “There 
he is.” 

Whar” he grumbled. “There wha 
is?” 

“The one I told you about, The one 
who took our place by the stream.” 

He glanced over his shoulder and 
down. Five hundred feet below the place 
where he stood balanced now on two 
small outcroppings of rock, a lone figure 
in an orange parka waved up: a figure 
that had materialized, it seemed, out of a 
void. Johnson blinked. A speck under his 
left eyelid had troubled him since he and 
Elizabeth had made love. 
s he a climber?” he asl 
n. He had not оте 
wave. 


ed, moving up 
vd to return the 


“Yes. I think so. He's got a rope.” 

“Well, that’s not going to do us much 
good, is it?” he said. 

"It could," she said. 

"What's that supposed to mean? 

She was silent for a moment and John- 
son. in an awkward position on the wall, 
his confidence threatened subtly by the 
fact that now, as he climbed. he was being 
observed, swore softly. 
"Give me some slack, will you?” he 
id. "What de you mean, it couldz" 
"Then he heard her laugh, as if she were 
relieved, as if her instincts about the 
stranger had been correct. 
‘ils. he's coming up. 
himself.” 


she said. 


The afternoon breeze gentled finally 
along the surfaces of dhe range and higher 
winds began to fill the visible sky with 
cloud. The lead boys body, which had 
bumped against the wall while the breeze 
had been strong, now hung motionless 
again from the rope, which had been 
jerked by the fall from his waist toa point 
just under his arms. On the belaying 
ledge, some 70 feet higher, the other boy's 
legs dangled and were also motionless 
except when, from time to time, he would 
bang his boots together as if to restore cir 
culation, crcating as he did an alicn, help- 


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less sound. Johnson heard it as he stood 
with his wife, together now on a small 
ledge 200 feet below the body of the 
fallen boy, watching as the stranger made 
his lone ascent. 

"He's over halfway,” she said. peering 
intently down. "He's fantastic.” 

Grudgingly, Johnson agreed, aware 
that at the rate this stranger was moving 
up, unencumbered as he was by a second. 
by pitoncraft and belay, he would very 
likely reach them before they reached the 
boys 


his 
d his waist, a 
1 green lump of a pack bouncing 
gainst the back of what looked from 
Johnson's perspective like a white dr 
shirt with the sleeves rolled up. its tails 
tucked into a pair of combat trousers. He 
carried а coil of rope over his shoulder 
and had a way of leaning out from the 
nearly vertical wall, studying the route 
fora while, then making half a dozen con- 
secutive moves, some of which would 
carry him as far as 15 or 20 feet at a time. 
In his own history as а climber, Johnson 
had seen no more than a handful of men 
who moved as well as this man moved, 
and none that he could remember who 
had moved any better. It was а perform- 
ance he respected and envied, for in it was 
written a talent Шаг he himself had never 
had; lle he was relieved that he 
would now have this standard of help in 
carrying out the rescue, he could nor 


He dimbed almost jauntily 
orange parka tied arou 
sm 


nd w 


I 
1 


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quite put aside a sense of threat that 
seemed for him to emanate from the sim- 
ple fact of this man with whom he had 
not as yet exchanged a word and for 
whom his wife had expressed a frank, 
even provocative regard. 

“Has anyone ever soloed this face he- 
2” she asked. 

“No. I don't think so. I haven't heard 
of anybody." 

You must know who he 
just anybody.” 

Johnson wiped his spectacles, which, 
during his hours on the wall. had become 
covered with a pumiceous dust. 

“I don't recognize him. There are plen- 
ty like him these days, 

“We're lucky to have him, 
And his rope. 
Of course, Nils. His rope, too.” 
Johnson went up another 100-foot 
id. moving with conscious deliberation, 
if, in what had become an atmospheric 
intensity, he might otherwise be impet- 
uous. He bru: ndholds free of 
settled his fingers onto them, tested 
his footholds fussily with the rigid soles of 
his Kletterschuhe. He balanced carefully 
self by 
re he was taking that he would not 
Ш. Then he found 
nce, a deep, cavelike pocket in 


for 


; he’s not 


she said. 


up in clean motions, assuring h 
the 


the rock from which he could belay com- 
fortably, and leaning against the stone 
behind him, sitting wi legs str 
out, he brought in the slack rope and 
Шей for her to join him. Hallway 
through the pitch, she had trouble remov- 
g one of his pitons. He could hear her 
banging it stubbornly with her hammer 
and, when he leaned awkwardly out from 
his position, he could sec her small hand 
denched around the carabiner, yanking 
it fitfully back and forth. 

“Leave, it, why don't you?" he called. 
Scarcely 100 feet below her. the lone man 
was coming up, moving swiltly now, for 
here the face was somewhat less steep and 
ollered а variety of holds. 

“Im going to get the goddamned 
thing,” he heard her say. “Give me some 
tension, will you 

He took up the slight belly of slack that 
had developed between them until the 
rope was taut. and she could use both of 
nds in her attempt to loosen the 
«d pilon. Finally, with an odd sense 
of relief, as if it had been driven into his 
own heart, he heard it spring free, heard 
p it to the collection that hung 
shoulder loop. 
imbing." she called. 
imb ahead,” he said. 

"The north s in shadow а 


ace wa 


"It huris when I yippee!” 


the air cool out of the sun; he had a sense 
that dusk would come rapidly and that 
in would fall. A swallow swept by the 
place where he sat; he heard the subdued. 
jetlike hiss of its passing. He was hungry 
and quite tired now and knew before Iu 
could begin the next and final lead the 
lone man would reach this place. 

That lead boy is dead, he thought. Jm 
sure of it. 

When she reached him, her familiar 
¢ rising suddenly in front of the open- 
g ol the recess in which he sat, he drew 
his knees to his chest in order to make 
room for her; but instead of changing 
places with him, as he had expected her 
to, she kept her position on the steep 
wall, turning, resting m along the 
threshold of the recess 1 doing this, 
whether deliberately he could not tell, 
she blocked his egress from the cave. 

“Vm ready to climb," he told her. 

“Let me rest a minute, Nils.” she said 
edly. “I wore out my arm pulling that 
damn pion. 

“You should have left it. We've been 
doing fine: we've got enough to finish. 

“Tt always seems like a defeat to me to 
leave one. F she said. She was loo! 
down and had, apparently, spoken to the 
man who was coming up from somewhere 
below her. Johnson guessed from the 
Че volume she had used that the n 
must be close now, and there had been a 
shyness in her tone that he recognized but 
had not heard her use in a long time, Не 
caught the distant jingling of the pitons 
nd carabincrs the maj tried, but as 
yet had not used, and heard his reply, 
friendly, he thought, but muflled to inco- 
herence by the cave. Johnson moved 
restlessly. sensing what would be his dis 
advantage if the man suddenly arrived. 

"Comte on, Betty," he said. 

"I don't know,” she said, not speal 
to him but to the one who was coming up. 
"Yes," she said. "I know. My husband saw 
the fall.” 

Then the man was standing next to 
keeping his easy balance with a care- 
his hand to the outside edge 
of one of the walls of the recess, looking 
in to the denlike place where Johnson 
sat. He was a young man, mid-20s, John- 
and gh he had been 
steadily for a Iong time now, he 
showed no evident signs of fatigue. Hic 
was wavy and brown, fashionable in 
h but alse. Johnson observed. 
prolessionally trimmed. His strength was 
evident in his hands and wrists and fore- 
arms where they showed below the rolled- 
back sleeves занй in his blue 
eyes, his friendly but unyielding expres- 
sion. across the tanned surfaces and well- 
shaped plans of his face, Johnson 
thought he read privilege: private 
schools, perhaps, trips abroad, easy and 
useful connections in high pl 
these assumptions secmed to gain validity 
as, when the young man spoke, hi 


her 
less touch 


son guessed thou 


ot his shi 


сез; and 


tones 


warm yet at the same time sober and 
carrying with them the confidence of one 
who has not only managed to suryive his 
life so far but also managed to prevail 
in it, Johnson caught the cultivated ac- 
cents of the East. 

“Hi,” he said. “My lowa: 
And before Johnson could reply, the 
young man added, as if they had all just 
met on the approach to a tee on a busy 
golf course: “Do vou mind if I go by?” 


‘The lead boy, in fact, was dead, It ap- 
cared he had died instantly in his fall, 
his neck broken. his blond head jutting 
unnaturally above the bright color of his 
parka, a weal of blood congealed at one 
corner of his mouth. Calloway was remoy 
ing the equipment the boy had carried, 
adding it impatiently to his own as if it 
might prove useful—the pitons, carabi- 
ners, web stirrups and slings—as Johnson 
came up, belayed by Elizabeth some 90 
feet below now in the cave, The sky had 
darkened with doud, the air was quite 
still: already, he had heard thunder 
"How's the other one?” he asked, paus- 
ing tentatively on his holds, for be had 
seen Calloway climb up to the ledge. 
Psyched ош. He won't хау anything. 1 
d the rope off for 
Joes he Know about this?” 
told him,” Calloway said. 
know if it registered, 
Gnats were moving near the dead boy's 
eyes. Johnson looked away. The meander 
of the stream was Jost in distant shadow 
now. Soon, he knew, a breeze would rise: 
almost surely, the lacafternoon ra 
would come. Below, he saw Elizabeth 
Jean out from the cave, look up, her 
а pale, expectant wedge above the 


"I don't 


of her jersey. He shook his head, She 
would be saddened, he knew, but not 
surprised: Though she had not said so. 


he thought she had intuited from the be- 
ginning that the boy had not survived 
lis fall. 

"We don’t have enough. daylight left 
to get the other one down," Johnson 
said. "Even if we get lucky and the storm 
misses us. 

Calloway agreed. He seemed to be wait- 
ing for the older man to make a decision, 
perliaps out of delerence to his age, per- 
haps because he had been first on the 
wall. Johnson, keeping one hand on the 
rock, removed his spectacles, wiped his 
brow with the sleeve of his shirt, The ur- 
gency of reaching this place had 
him an adrenal strength that now was 
rapidly ebbing away as if to follow what 
had been his last fragile hope for the fall- 
en boy. Tired, hungry, balanced ginge 
on his holds, he felt his legs begin to 
shake; slight cramps had developed in the 
lower muscles of his calves. 

Calloway looked up in the direction of 
the summit that towered above them, 
merging now into what had become a 
granite-colored sky. He seemed disgr 
Чей, impatient to be on his way, to sc 


rate himself from this death and the 
failure of which it spoke. When he 
brushed back a shock of his brown hair 
and looked intently at Johnson again, 
Johnson sensed the younger man had 
reached the far limits of whatever те 
finement had prevented him so far from 
simply taking charge: and even out of his 
haustion and reluctance to state а ро 
sition the younger man might challenge, 
Johnson discovered in himself а need to 
preserve his place 
“We'll have to bivouac” he 
“Right.” 
There's 
two— 
“I think we should do the overhang,” 
ar he had 
worked it out, was sure of himself. “Ac 
cording to the book, that's the standard 
There's room enough. up there for 


aid. 


room on that ledge for 


We'd be burning our bridges" 

"We can go on up and finish the face 
the morning 
I don't know," Johnson said. 
I've read the route description," Cal- 
loway said. “It doesn’t sound bad; I'm 
frankly not worried about it. We can go 
опе rope of four or two ropes of two: 
whichever you like. Once we're up there, 
we can walk down the east ridge. No. 
problem. 

Look,” he said. “Tha 
spending a rotten night.” 

Do yon thi that other hoy will he 
up to doing the overhang?” 
He'll do what we tell him to do,” Cal- 
loway said. “What about this one? We'll 
need the rope. We can tie him off here or 
cut him loose 

Johnson poked a finger to his сус 
where, under the lid, a speck still burned 
The younger man had spoken without 
and it was not so much this fact 
that troubled Johnson (he understood it 
as а logical and useful attitude to hold) 
but the fact that he could not quite do the 
same, that when he spoke he knew he 
would hear along the edges of his voice 

aves of the pulse of loss he felt 

1 guess there's not much point in tying 
him off,” he said finally. “Not if we're 
going on. One of us should be up there 
with the other one, though. 

Со ahead," Calloway said. He seemed 
more relaxed now that they had reached 
a decision. "ГШ take care of it. What 
about your wife? Will it bother her?” 

“She won't like it, 
through this kind of thi! 
be allright.” 

She's lovely,” Calloway said. He had 
fished a clasp knife from his pocket 
Johnson watched as the younger man 
drew the long blade out with the disk of 
his n; 
as gratuitous and he did not respond to it. 
Give me a couple of minutes up 
there.” Then, as he turned to 
dimb, he realized he would 


no point in 


but shes been 
before. She'll 


The compliment had struck him 


he said 


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“Tronically, Mrs. Fenwick, two things 
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enough rope to reach the ledge. Calloway 
saw the problem at once. 

“I'll give you a bı he said. Folding 
the blade back into its handle, he r 
turned the knife to his pocket and began 
to uncoil his rope. Johnson could not 
help feding a little emba 
way having so recently climbed unpre 
tected to the same ledge. He called to 
ibeth, told her the plan, and thei 
the belay establi у paying 
ош rope from an casy, Slouching stance, 


his blue parka, gazing vacantly out. His 
hands were placed on his lap in such a 
way that Johnson could see where the 
rope, during his efforts to stop the fall, 
had scorched the leather of the palms. 
He was a red-haired, freckled boy, and 
Johnson tried talking to him, tried to 
comfort him as best he could, but the boy 
would not speak, only nodded his he: 
shook it or simply gazed out at the v 
horizon of high mountains and 
lightning-illuminated cloud. 
The ledge was rough, even smaller 


286 than Johnson had remembered. When he 


removed his pack and sat next to the boy. 
he felt their shoulders touch. The rope, 
anchored to the wall behind them, bent 
sharply over the edge of the shelf; and al- 
though Johnson did not wish to look at it, 
he forced himself to, watched it unblink- 
ingly until. suddenly freed of its burden, 
it sprang lightly up. He wondered then 
how long it would take for the body to 
fall and whether or not the sound of it 
striking the earth might be heard at a 
vertical distance of almost 1000 feet. He 
felt an oppressive sense of inevitability. 
Removing his spectacles, closing his eyes 
for a moment, he was grateful for what 
had become a remote yet persistent rum- 
ble of thunde: 

"I'm sorry about your friend," he 
said quiedy, repeating what he had sai 
before. 

"He's my stepbrother," the boy х 
And during the time it took for the others 
to come up, and even after that, thes: 
were the only words he spoke. 

m a standing bel 
Шомау just 


In reduced light, f 
on established by 


below the ledge, Elizabeth payed out rope 
to the younger man as he climbed on а 
bold diagonal to the overhang and then, 
with astonishing swiftness, built a near 
catwalk of stirrups from the wall to its 
outer lip. He trailed the belay rope be- 
hind him as if it were nothing morc than 
an obligation, and when he stood in the 
last of the stirrups, his left fist balled into 
a crack at the edge of the overhang, he 
leaned ont and peered up in what had be- 
come his familiar reconnaissance of 
route, and then, without hesitation once 
he had hauled up a great belly of slack so 
as not to be impeded by the rope behind 
him, he reached up with his right hand, 
kicked his foot bree of the Jast stirrup, 
swung out over 1000 feet of space, hung 
there for a fraction of a second, then went 
nly up and over. 

johnson shook his head. He looked at 
аре, saw across the ра ured 
planes of her face her frank regard for 
what Calloway had done. It would be easy 
for the rest of them to follow, protected 
from above by the young man whose con- 
ident cry of "Climb!" they heard already 
come indistinctly down. 

Elizabeth went first, moving surely to 
the overhang itself, pausing, then going 
out from stirrup to stirrup until she stood 
in the last stirrup and Johnson, who sat 
on the small rough ledge, belaying her 
from behind, felt 2 clutch of fear as he 
saw this woman who had been his com- 
panion through all his adult years and 
who was the mother ol his sons poised in 
a place almost identical to that where the 
lead boy had stood just prior to his fall; 
and when Johnson heard her famil 
voice call lor tension on tlie upper rope 
and saw her scrabble finally up and safely 
out of sight, he felt such relief as to 
make him w nd he sighed and wiped 
his 


ice. 
Go ahead,” he said hoarscly to the sur- 
viving boy, once the ropes were secured. 
The boy was brave, possessed of a courage 
not buttressed by experience or any spe- 
cial skill. He went awkwardly up and out 
id over, his wash-blue eyes still trauma- 
tized with shock, his legs shaking badly all 
the while he stood in the stirrups under 
the dusky overhang, his hands stuttering 
from hold to hold, wailing obediently be- 
hind him the rope from which less than 
one hour ago the body of his stepbrother 
had been cut away. 

Wearily, Johnson stood. His own legs 
were unsteady, his shoulders sore where 
the straps of his pack had chafed them. By 
ne he had knotted the rope around 
d ascended to the overhang, 
the sky had grown so dark he had to wait 
for flashes of Ti in order to sce 


dift, appearing now as if they had been 
driven into something as insubstantial as 
ihe air itself that eddied indecisively 
st the face, agitated by what he 


guessed would prove 
the wind. 

He moved cautiously from stirrup to 
stirrup, taking them and their carabi 
with him as he went, hearing the dink 
and jingle of the metal as it collected 
around him, sensing through his 
tips the building charge of atmospheric 
clectricity, straining his cars to hear 
the warning buzz, hearing only the still 
distant roll of thunder, calling to Callo 
way for tension at last, feeling the rope 
pull swiftly and hard against him. hopin 
briefly that it would, in fact. hold him 
he let it take his weight, leaned b. 
against it out over the dark void, its en- 
guling dimensions clear only in the 
flashes of lightning that would illuminate 
the sky and earth for several seconds now 
before they flickered out and the art 
lery of thunder would boom along die 
distant range; reaching awkwardly 

nclip the last of 
‚ groping tiredly for some pur- 
sharp edged rock as, from 
above, Calloway applied his strength to 
the rope; kicking and thrashing until at 
last he managed to deliver himself in the 
pence of all grace to the abundant are 
above the overhang where Elizabeth sa 
next to the younger man, combing out 
her long brown hair as if she were at the 
dressing table in the bedroom of their 
Denver home, and the surviving boy 
gazed vacantly out, and Galloway popped 
wp and stretched id 
tivated accents: 
Now let's eat." 


quick rising of 


under the overhang to. 
thes 


his си 
show. Finc. 


"Good 


For a while, the lightning played along 
the far peaks, then the storm collected 
self and moved olf into the cast, leaving 
behind its unfulfilled promise of rain and 
the light of a luminous moon, The tem 
perature of the air began to drop, and by 
the time they had caten their rations of 
food and Calloway had brewed tea for 
them all on the small Primus stove he had 
fished from his pack, the surfaces of the 
rock around them were damp to touch 
Elizabeth sat next to the younger man in 
the area of what had become their kitch 
en. Johnson, separated from her by the 
surviving boy, watched as she applied 
fresh lipstick, a rust red he knew, close in 
color to that of the parka she now wore. 
He could read nothing in this old and 
feminine gesture except her habit of 
ig attention to her appearance 
wherever she happened to be; and yet 
when she pulled her lips together and re- 
capped the small gold tube, he was sur- 
prised by a desire to have her sit next to 
him and sensed at the same time how 
awkward it might be to change positions, 
how she, or even Calloway, might be 
amused. Briefly, out of some as-yet-indis- 
tinct kinship of soul, he put his hand on 
the knob of the surviving boy's kne 

"How are you doing?" he said. 

"OK." the boy replied, but he wa 
hearted. 


hall. 


“We were lucky we missed the rain.” 

“Tknow.” 

“My name is Nils,” 
yours?” 

“Perr 

“Where do you live?" 

“Durango.” 

“Have you done much climb 
this? 

"Nc 

Johnson nodded. Over the hiss of the 
stove he could hear the others talking. 
They talked easily, as if instead of just 
having met during this encounter on the 


he said. "What's 


before 


wall, they had known and liked cach 
other awhile. In his relationship with 
Elizabeth, played as it had heen until 


now to the beat of his own drum, he had 
never experienced anything more than 
the most innocuous sort of jealousy. She 
had been so doggedly loyal to him that he 
had more than once in the privacy of his 
thoughts charged against her а lack of 
in the context of her 
sert herself and the 
, able and magnetic 
g threat and she, whom 
he had taken quite for granted these 
many years, seemed to become more desir 
able, even precious, as she moved in spi 
away from him. 

Later, when Calloway suggested to him 
they begin next morning in two ropes of 
two. Johnson, his own practical judgment 
arguing against it, found that he had 
agreed. A consecutive rope of four with 
Calloway in the lead would, in spite of its 
slowness, he thought, be almost perfectly 
safe. But the younger man had made his 
suggestion im such a way as to cast no 
doubt upon Johnson's ability to lead his 
own rope: and, therefore, to argue 
the suggestion once it had been made 
would have been, it seemed to Johnson, 
confession of inadequacy. In spite of his 
fatigue, he thought he had climbed well 
in the first 1000 fect and was reasonably 
confident that he and Elizabeth could 
m to complete the wall, if not with 

Galloway's finesse, at least with compe- 
tence. It was only after a general agree- 
ment 10 proceed in two ropes of two that 
the surviving boy, for the first time, ven- 
tured a comment of his own. 

"Can 1 go with you?” he asked John- 
son, his voice unsteady but loud 
enough for the others to hear. 

“Fine.” Calloway said at once, as il he 
sensed the boy did not quite trust him. 
beth and J will lead. We'll take the 
«торе. If there's any problem, we can 
all join up.” 

“Is that all right with yon, Nils 
heard her ask. 
те. Fine," he said. But he felt as if in 
a game of chess he had been tempted by 
his opponent into making a move the 
consequences of which he could not quite 
anticipate; and he wondered if his voice 
һай betrayed his uncertainty. 
hrec of them lay down then and tried 
to sleep in their respective places on the 


efforts to а 


recent 
presence of this young 


man, he felt a ri 


he 


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ledge. The last thing Johnson remem- 
bered seeing was the silhouette of Callo- 
way, who continued to sit crosslegged, 
gazing out where the moon rose, sipping 
his tea 


It went well in the first 400 feet. Then, 
perhaps no longer concerned, Calloway 
and Elizabeth began to move ahead, At 
500 fect above the bivouac ledge, they 
were one full lead beyond Johnson and 
the boy; at 600 fect above the ledge, they 
were no longer in sight. An carly wind 
had risen in the northeast and was blow- 
ing hard against the face, The surfaces of 
the rocks were cold to touch. 

Johnson blew on his finger tips, squint- 
ed through his spectacles at the route 
above. He had reached a difficult section 
and having trouble making his 
moves. He guessed the angle of the rock 
10 be BÓ degrees here, the small holds it 
provided infrequent and awkwardly dis- 
tributed, so that twice he had found the 
only way he could shift his position and 
advance was t0 move down several inches 
nd then reascend, placing his left foot 
where his right had been. He had tried to 
protect himself as well as he could, but 
the wall here was smooth and the few 
cracks it provided were shallow and he 

1 used up all of his smaller pitons. 


PLAYBOY 


to him it was not conceivable that a man 
like Johnson could fall. 

He closed his eyes, pressed his check 
against the rock. Transmitted through 
he could hear the remote sound, no loud- 
er than the ticking of his watch, of Callo- 
way banging a piton somewhere into the 
face above. He wanted to call for help, his 
pride would have allowed for that, but he 

ew he would not he heard in this wind 
and at this distance, knew if he did call 
he would alert the boy below to the fact 
they were in trouble, and that could only 
make things worse. 

He looked up, hoping to catch a 
glimpse of the others, but where the 
tilted toward a less acute angle, he sa 
only a blue sky full of racing cloud, 
which, in this perspective, gave him the 
giddy sense that the mountain itself was 
toppling forward. Elizabeth had left pi- 
Jons in all the most difficult pitches so far 


ing like bun 
these stirrups, he would have to negotiate. 
section of rock that appeared so steep 
nd generally faultless and barren of 
holds he could not imagine how Calloway 
had done it, or he himself had done it û 
decide earlier, as he must have, though 
he held no specific memory 
He hugged the wall, felt its hars 

t him. He lifted his right foot to a 

nubbin, slowly let it begin to take his 

weight, moving up an inch at a ti 
268 searching with his left hand, finding a 


into which hc could 
is finger tips. His heart 
When he made his next deli- 
cate move up, he felt the rope tug at his 
waist, and he angrily called for slack and 
felt the pressure ease slowly and then saw 
the rope belly out on the wall below his 
right foot and knew the boy, who had 
previously given him too little, now was 
giving him too much, but he was hoarse 
and more afraid than he had been since 
his first years as a climber, and so, with- 
out trying 10 communicate any further 
with the boy, he committed himself to yet 
another slight move up this sheerness of 
rock, found at last a thin crack with his 
right hand, jammed his fingers in to the 
second joints, felt the skin rip away, the 
pulse of blood, a terrible relief to have 
gotten суеп this much purchase here, 
moved his left foot then to a nutlike nub- 
bin of rock scarcely Iarge enough to take 
the extreme edge of his shoe, felt the 
wind hurling itself against him as if to 
dislodge him, heard it wail and sigh in 
the large pockets and crevices above, saw 
the rope belly out along the wall below, 
as if the surviving hoy had simply payed 
out all the slack he had and was w 
passively for this pitch to be over. 
Johnson swore, felt a sudden brutal 
anger that she had left him here alone, 
had dimbed on out of sight and sound 
loway, who must have passed this 
y without Why had she not wai 
ed as had been their plan? Why had she 
not left a solid piton, thought of him, 
remembered him? He closed his eyes 
against the wind, guessed in the irration- 
anger and fear that she would 
ys now, and then someone 
nd someone cIse's after that, He 
knew how it went, how insubstantial a 
bond fidelity was once it had been 
breached a single time and knew for 
the first time, felt, ev 
have felt: the humil 
of the one betrayed. 
He opened his eyes, swore, He wa 
half-crouched position now, his right arm 
stretched at full length above him, his 
right hı n the thin crack, his 
Icht hand Пас 
foot scraping usclessly, his left leg trem- 
bling as he let it take his weight and 
began to rise out of his half crouch, push- 
ing down on his left foot, pulling up with 
his right hand; and he had drawn himself 
to almost a full standing position when 
the nutlike nubbin broke suddenly and. 
cleanly away under his left foot and he 
fell abruptly, the right side of his face 
scraping along the wall, his spectacles tug- 
ging up from his cars, bobbling, his left 
hand flashing up too late to stop them a 
they swept away from him, buffered and 
josgled by the wind to fall the 1600 fect 
to the ground above which he hung sus- 
pended now by the fingers of his right 
hand, his inarticulate cry cut olf by the 
dutching dryness of his du Visio 
blurred, he felt the strength ebb quickly 


shallow striation 
place the pads of 
beat rapidl 


5i 


from his arm, and just as quickly, in what 
was left of the time he would have, he be- 
gan (o pull himself up, testing the wall 
with the edges of his shocs until he found 
at last a small lip that would take his 
ht, and he balanced gingerly up un- 
til he stood pressed flat, his face close 10 
the bloody fingers that had saved him. 
Then, for five long minutes, with the 
wind slamming against him, its banshee 
sound in his cars, he did nothing more or 
less than breathe. 

The crack was shallow. It took just over 
two inches of the six-inch piton he drove 
but thar much of it was tightly wedged 
and when he slipped a loop of rope over 
it, down the exposed shaft of the piton to 
the place where thc piton entered the 
crack, and clipped a stirrup onto that 
loop of rope, the stirrup held his weight 
and enabled him then to step up slowly 
and reach the stirrups she h: 
from that point forward, the wa 
pleasant again and he and the boy fin- 
ished it without incident. 

Elizabeth and Calloway were waiting 

t the summit, sitting together in the lee 
1 upihrust slab of rock. 
Hello, Nils" she sid effhandedly 
But then she noticed the blood on his 
ct that he was not wearing 
ses and she scemed concerned, he 
thought, when she asked him what had 
happened. 

“E was in the middle of a scramble,” he 
told her. "The wind took them.” 

“Are you all right?” 

“Yes, I'm fine! 

“They weren't right for you, anywa 
she said. 

He smiled tiredly. She seemed like an 
old friend, the impassivity of her expres 
sion familiar, welcome: but she had left 
him, he sensed it, had gone farther away 
than she had ever gone before. 

"He used to wear horn-rims/" she ex- 
plained i0 Calloway, "They made him 
look dignified. 
alloway laughed. 

Let's get out of here,” he said. 

It was then they heard the sobs of the 
surviving boy, whom they had overlooked 
as they talked. He was sitting on a rock 
with his face in his hands as if somehow 
he were ashamed. The wind was blowing 
his red hair. Johnson went over, sat next 
to him, puta hand on his shoulder. 

“Ics all right," he said quietly. “We 
know how you feel 

For a while, the boy's shoulders contin- 
ued to shake, and Johnson felt a tight- 
own throat and a gathering 
sense of loss. He looked up at the sky, 
where the clouds sped by under the impe- 
tus of the quick wind. It would be near 
twilight, he guessed, by the time the four 
of them got down. Then he and Callo- 
way would go and together they would 


bury the dead. 


“We meant no harm, sire. We figured that since the princess was 
put into this deep sleep by a tiny prick... .” 


PLAYBOY 


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