Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN OCTOBER 1974 • $1.25

"WHAT A DREAM ISSUE...
AN OUTRAGEOUS INTERVIEW
WITH AL GOLDSTEIN,

THE EDITOR OF ‘SCREW’...

PAGE AFTER PAGE ON
THE BUNNIES OF 1974...
JAMES DICKEY WRITING
ABOUT THE SOUTH... 4

ARTICLES ON SLY
STONE AND A. J. FOYT...

THE OCTOBER PLAYBOY’S
AREAL EYE OPENER!”

100% Scotch Whiskies. 86.8 Proof. Imported by Somerset Importers, Ltd., N.Y.

Bob really knows how to throw a party.
He never runs out of Johnnie Walker Red.

TheSubaru
Unlimited Mileage
Warranty.

Count the months,

not the miles.

‘See your Yellow Pages for the dealer nearest you.

Or call, toll free, 800-447-4700. In Illinois 800-322-4400.
‘Subaru automobiles manufactured by Fuji Heavy Rested ы Tokyo, Japan.
Imported by Subaru of America, Inc., Pennsauken, New

We cover your new Subaru
for a full year—no matter
how many miles you drive.

Our new Unlimited Mileage
Warranty is a demonstration of
confidence in the engineering
excellence of the Subaru.

What happens if something goes
wrong with materials or workman-
ship in that first year? We fix it.
And we don't charge you anything
for parts or labor.

It’s a lot of warranty, but Subaru
is a lot of car. With road-holding
front wheel drive. Rack and pinion
steering. The smooth and quiet
Quadrozontal engine that gets

over 27 miles per gallon. And alist /

of no-extra-cost extras as long as
your arm. (Things like a
pushbutton radio,
tinted glass,

bucket seats that adjust to 17 dif-
ferent positions, radial tires on 3 of
our 4 models, and more.) Those are
some of the reasons why Subaru is
known as the "Small Car that's All
Car?

The new Subaru Unlimited
Mileage Warranty. We're offering
it for a very sensible reason.

We don't expect you'll have to
use it.

Su barü Drive

You could buy it for gas mileage lone.

_ COMPARE THE
DORAL DIFFERENCE

Doral has fixed what you dont like

about low "tar" and nicotine smoking.
Doral's unusual recessed filter system's different. The filter
doesn't fight the taste. It's got: (1) Cellulon Fiber to reduce "tar"
and nicotine. © A unique Polyethylene Chamber. @ Special
Smoke Baffles. @ Air Channels for easy draw. And Taste!
Doral: the low "tar" cigarette with the high taste difference.

“=

N
|
|
|
1
|
|

Put your
cigarette filter
here.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined HR
овес
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health, FILTER, MENTHOL: 14 mg. "tar", 10 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAR. 74.

PLAYBILL ^16 weird. Nixon, swollen leg hazard-

ous to his health, touched down to peanut-gallery
in Maine and told us t the world у
fer thin it had been two weeks earlier. That was nice
10 hear; but it made us wonder what had been going on two weeks
before that they weren't telling us about. One of the agreements
they signed gives Dick permission to defend Grand Forks, North
Dakota, with ABMs. In return, Brezhnev gets to ring Moscow. And
then there was that amazing and sober moment when the Russians
pulled the plug, blacking out ‘TV screens U.S. network corre-
spondents talked about dissidence. “There was never a more vivid
demor
between the two systems." Herbert Gold, who visited Russia some
time before the Presidential trip, also felt that difference, palpably,
as he moved through. Moscow, Very soon after he arrived, official
Russia knew that an American Jewish writer with intellectual So-
Viet friends was visiting, and he describes in this issue its none-too-
subtle surveillance and clumsy attempts to 4 to illegal
acts. In. Russian, “To Be Silent" Is an Active Verb is hi
| this and of conversations with his repressed but defiant friends.
“I now receive three or four letters every week from people I met in
the Soviet Union," says Gold, “begging for some help, contact, hu-
man feeling." "There's much of the last in his account, which is
illustrated by Roy Schnackenberg. Gold's new novel, Swiftie the
Magician, is due this month.

Because of his novel and film, Deliverance, James Dickey is far S
beticr known (and wealthier) than any truly gifted poet ever expects
to be. Writers of his stature are usually the province of obscure liter-
ary journals. But Dickey stirred up a unique lyrical mix of aesthe
cism and adventure with his story and the masses responded. None
of which has diverted his talent, as you'll see from reading Small inti
Visions from a Timeless Place, part of his new book, Jericho The
South Beheld, by Dickey and Hubert Shuptrine, to be published by
Oxmoor House. Quoting from the introduction he wrote for this
selection: “These paragraphs are, quite frankly, an experiment.
They are impressionistic vignettes—or, with luck, prose poems— LAW. IKEDA
having to do with the American South, the place where I was born
and where 1 hope to die." The experiment works.

No one we know is more of a tourist than Stall Writer Reg Potter-
ton, who, for a few years now, has done a good deal of the magazine's
vel writing. Who else, then, to follow and observe a mercilessly
polite band of Japanese tourists through the eminently scrutable
West? At Large in the Land of the Tooth Bandit finds Potterton
comlorting a pouting sumo wrestler impatient for the majesty that
is "Disneyrand," while fielding questions on our sewer systems.

Sewers. That's certainly where the mind of our interview subject,
Al Goldstein, editor of Screw, wallows. Contributing Editor Richard
Warren Lewis lost a coin flip, got the assignment and spent several
days exploring Goldstein's outrageous, uptight and very funny opin-
ions on subject number one. OL the experience, Lewis would say
only, “ГИ get you bastards for this.”

October's fiction requirements are more than satisfied by David
Elys The Light in the Cottage, illuswated by Dan Morrill, a
haunted-house story wherein the ghost wreaks severe and final re-
venge; Stephen Minors Three-Part Harmony, in which a groom's
possessive mother is upset by her son's choice of wedding partners;
and Just My Luck, by Warner Law, about a smalltime crook who lives gra

Finally, there's John Grissim on Sly Stone (Sylvester the Cat) and William Neely on A. J.—4s in Foyt: two
stars from decidedly opposite ends of the universe; Charles Gaines's report on the bizarre rites of guaranteed hunt-

ng, Old Dance on the Killing Ground; a look at hi-fi speakers, Making Sound Waves, photographed by Shig Ikeda;
Ron Specr's recipes for homemade wine, Lie a Lot and Use a Fairly Clean Two-lr ‘our; "Lepke's" Lady, on lov ly
Mary Wilcox, as seen through the steamy lens of Ken Marcus; Robert L. Green's Playboy's Fall and Winter Fashion
Forecast; the demented visions of a considerable cartoon talent, B. Kliban; and two annual goodies—The Playboy
Jazz © Pop Poll and a sexy survey of Playboy's Bunnies. That's the way it is, autumn 1974, from Chic: go, where you
know fall i: begins to turn gray. If you'd just as soon pretend you're somewhere else, turn the page.

tration,” said NBC's John Chancellor, "of the difference

agg POTTERTON

MARCUS. GREEN KLIBAN

ndly for а few hours and pays later.

42
PEER

2-
A
T
-Ñ

vol. 21, по. 10—october, 1974

PLAYBOY.

CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

РАТ эс сш М з
DEAR PLAYBOY eua n

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS. = Е 7

EVENTS... - - = 18

DINING-DRINKING 2 : 20

Spes RECORDINGS... = peu - 20
MOVIES... = - E 24

THEATER... = ” 26

BOOKS US = —€— €— 06

TELEVISION... = 36

MUSIC —M — 2

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR - 45

THE PLAYBOY FORUM... E

ору, PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: AL GOLDSTEIN —candid conversation 63
THE LIGHT IN THE COTTAGE— DAVID ELY 78

А. J.—AS IN FOYT— personality WILUAM NEELY 82

ULAEPKE'S" LADY —pictorial —— —— = е и:

SYLVESTER THE CAT—personality B JOHN GRISSIM 94

PLAYBOY'S FALL AND WINTER FASHION FORECAST—attire.. ROBERT |. GREEN 97

JUST MY LUCK—fietion... —— WARNER LAW 105

FLYING HIGH— playboy's playmate of the month a 106

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES humor. né

OLD DANCE ON THE KILLING GROUND —erticle CHARLES GAINES 118

MAKING SOUND WAVES—modern living = epi

THREE-PART HARMONY — fiction. Е STEPHEN MINOT 124

IN RUSSIAN, "TO BE SILENT" IS AN ACTIVE VERB—article. ..... HERBERT СОШ 128

BUNNIES OF 1974—pictorial as 130

THE PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL. тат

— c ALBERTO VARGAS 148

THE VARGAS GIRL—pictorial __

4 Cottontails THREE WOMEN—ribald classic. ч 149
AT LARGE IN THE LAND OF THE TOOTH BANDIT—article .. REG POTTERTON 151

SMALL VISIONS FROM A TIMELESS PLACE— prose poetry JAMES DICKEY 152

LIE A LOT AND USE A FAIRLY CLEAN TWO-BY-FOUR — drink. RON SPEER 157

WORD PLAY —salirc. ROBERT CAROLA 161

ON THE SCENE—personalilies _ ——Ó 166

THE KINKY WORLD OF KLIBAN —humor. B. KUBAN 170

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 198

Musie Poll Poa FOLLOW-UP: THE HANDWRITING ON THE WALL. IRVING BRESIAUER 227

GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING. 919 NORTH MICHIGAN AVE.. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611, FETURM POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED
TF THEY ARE TO GE RETURNED AND NO RESPONSIBILITY CAN BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS, ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SCUT YO PLAYBOY WILL вс TREATED AS UNCONDITIONALLY AS.
SIGHED FOR PURLICATION AND COPVPIGHI PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYBOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND TO COMMENT EDITORMLLY, CONTEKTS COPY TIGHT © 197: BY PLAYBOY
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLAYBOY AND KABIT HEAD SYMBOL AME MARKS OF PLAYBOY, REGISTEYED US, PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA, MANGUE DEPOSCE. NOTHING MAY вс PEPMINTED
IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PEPMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SENIFICTION IN THIS MAGALINC AND ANY
REAL PEOPLE AND PLACES 15 PURELY COINCIDENTAL. CREDITS: COVER: MUDEL SUZANN SNEEMI, DESIGNED BY TOM STAEDLER, FHOTOGMAPHY DY гомгго POSAT- OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY BY
CURTIS BROWN, LTO., P. э, GEORGE BUTLER, P. 3, CARAAI CARLO. p. % DAVID CHAN. P. 3 (2), 132, 135, 136, 137, 136, 139; JEFF COPEN, P. 3 (2): GARY COLE, P. 3; PHILLIP DIXON, P. 133. Y

RIHARD FEGLEV Р. 33. JAMES GLODUS, P. r5, 26 (2). PHIL HASTINGS. P. 3 DRIAN © MENNESSEY- P. 192: DWIGHT HOOKEN, P. тэт. 133 (2) 130, 125, UNG, P э; NEM MARCUS, F- 130: RONNIE
MELLON, P. з. MINDAS. P 132 (3). 134 (2). GERNOT PLITZ, P. 135; POMPEO POSAR, P, 191, 117: BOB REED, Р. 3: DENNIS SCOTT. P. 134; SUZANNE SEED, P. 3 (2): VERNON L. SMITH. P. 3

VOL 21. NO, 10, PUBLISHED MONTHLY ВУ PLAYEOY. IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYBOY DLDG.. 910 н. MICHIGAN AVE., CHGO.. ILL, 60611. SECOND-CLASS POST-
ND AT ROOL, MAILING OFFICES. SUBSCRIPTIONS: IN THE U. $.. $10 FOR ONE YEAR. POSTMASTER: SEND FORM 3379 TO PLAYBOY. P.O. Бох аг. BOULDEP. COLO. B0302,

PLAYBOY. остовея. 19
AGE PAID AT CHGO. {LL

The white rum gimlet. Now blessed by the people
who know the most about gimlets.

RECONSTITUTED

The makers of Rose's Lime
Juice know all chere is co know
about gimlets. Indeed, the recipe
on their label is the only official one

And for che longest cime gin
and vodka were che only liquors it
mentioned. Вис something new has
been added. White rum.

Rosc's doesn’t саге what brand
of rum you изе — just as long as it's
white and as long as it comes from
Puerto Rico.

You sce, whire rum from
Puerto Rico is the only white rum
we know of that’s aged for at least
onc year— by law. You might call
it smoothness insurance

For a sensational rum gimlet.
mix four or five parts white rum
with onc part Roses Lime Juice

We'd mail you a free sample
right now if it weren't illegal. A
smooth, frosty white rum
gimler is chat delicious

PUERTO RICAN RUMS

For free recipe book, write Puerlc Rican Rum, Dept P-19.
1290 Ave. of Americas, N. Y., N.Y, 10019.

PLAYBOY

Minolta helps you
grin and bare it.

You can get back to nature with a camera that doesn't get in the way.

You're comfortable with a Minolta SR-T from the moment you pick it up.
This is the 35mm reflex camera that lets you concentrate on the picture,
because the viewfinder shows all the information needed for correct ex-
posure and focusing. You never have to look away from the finder to adjust
a Minolta SR-T, so you're ready to catch the one photograph that could
never be taken again.

And when subjects call for a different perspective, Minolta SR-T cameras
accept a complete system of interchangeable lenses, from “fisheye” wide
angle to super-telephoto.

Get down to basics with a Minolta SR-T. For more information, see your
photo dealer or write Minolta Corporation, 101 Williams Drive, Ramsey,
New Jersey 07446. In Canada: Anglophoto Ltd., P.Q.

к=з К minolta)

Minolta SR-T Cameras

Is your camera a means ol sell-expression? II so, enter the Minolta Creative Photography Contest. Grand
Prize: Iwo weeks in the South Sec islonds for two, $1000 cash, and a Minolta SR-T 102. 1428 other valu-
able prizes will be awarded. Nothing fo buy. Minolta equipment nol required. See your Minolta dealer
for details and registration. Or write: Minolta Creative Photography Contest, Box 1831, Blair, Neb. 68009.

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher
ARTHUR KRETCUMER editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL art director
SHELDON WAX managing editor
MARK KAUFTMAN photography editor

MURRAY FISHER assistant managing editor

EDITORIAL
ARTICLES: mvp BUTLER editor + FICTION.
KOBIE MACAULLY editor, STANLEY PALEY associ
ate editor, VICTORIA CHEN HAIDER, WALTER SUB-
LETTE assistant editors « SERVICE FEATURES:
owrw modern living editor, ROGER
NER assistant editor; WOBLKY L. GREEN
fashion director, wwvib PLATT fashion
editor: THOMAS mawio food & drink editor
CARTOONS: MICHELLE UERY editor + COPY:
ARLENE BOURAS editor, STAN AAIBEK assistant
editor = STAFF: с. BARRY COLSON, GEOETREY
NORMAN, ROBERT J. SHEN, DAVID STEVENS S

editors; LAURENCE GONZALES, RFG POTTERTON,
DAVID STANDISH Staff writers; DOUGLAS MAU-
ER, DOUGLAS C. BENSON, WILLIAM J. HELMER,
GRETCHEN MC NEESE, CAML SNYDER associate
editors; JOUN BLUMENTHAL, 1. F. O'CONNOR,

JAMES К. PETERSEN, ARNIE WOLFE assistant
editors; SUSAN HASLER, MARIA NEKAM, BARRARA
NELLIS, KAREN PADDERUD, LAURIE SADLER, BEE:

ма T. ZIMMERMAN research editors; J. PAUL
cerry (business & finance), NAY MENTOFI
MARD RHODES, RAY RUSSELL, JEAN SN

KD, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies), JONN SKOW
contributing editors + ADMINISTRATIVE
SERVICES: РАПСА PAPANGELIS. administra-
live editor; кох JENNINGS ттд! permission

MILDRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assist

ART
srt ri, RERIG vort asociate directors;
ов POST, ROY MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET SUSKE,
DRDON MORTENSEN, JOSEPH assistant.
directors; JULIE. YILERS, VICTOR HUBBARD,
GLENN STEWARD arf assistants; H. MICHAEL
SINON executive assistant; EVE HECKMAN
administrative assistant

pa Е
PHOTOGRAPHY

млинхх GRAROWSKE west coast edito
GARY COLE IS WAY) associate edi-
lors; wu. lechnical editor; виа.
AKSENAULT, DAVID CHAN, RIC FECLEY,
висит HOOKER, rowrro Posar staf) pho-
tographers; DON AZUMA, BILL, and MEI FIGG

BRIAN D. HENNESSEY, ALENAS URBA contrib-
uting photographers: FRANTZ associate
photographer; oov — JOUNSON assistant
editor: ахо Rewe photo lab supervisor:
JANICE MERKOWIIZ moses chief stylist;
ковенг enews administrative editor

PRODUCTION

Jons Mastno director N varco mm-
пре’; FLEANORE WAGNER, WTA JOHNSON,
MARIA MANDIS, RICHARD QUARTAROLL assistants

READER SERVICE
CAROLE CRAIG director

CIRCULATION
THOMAS в. WILLIAMS customer services;
WEN COLDRERG direclor of newsstand sales;
ALVIN. WIEMOLD subscription manager

ADVERTISING
HOWARD w. LEDERER advertising director

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.

. reus business manager and
associate publisher; RICHARD S. ROSENZWEIG
executive assistant to the publisher;
RICHARD м. korr assistant publisher

Every other men's
hairspray we know of
goes on wet.

And when it dries,
it leaves your hair stiff.

That's why we created
our
PEU

pray.

(LP A
Vitalis? Dry 3™ goes
on almost dry —so dry
you cant see it.

And it leaves your
hair softer and more
rnanageable. Not as stiff
as an ordinary spray.

Our Vitalis Dry 3. It
makes their hairspray
look all wet.

HAIR CONTROL |

Brigade. The French cut shirt.
- Because ә woman is just

interested in a man’s shape:
esheisinhers. \ j

А Frenchman in good shape would never hide.
ре behind a shirt that’s too loose and billowy.
But for some strange reason, American men do.
We don'tthink that's fair. So we created Brigade.
ur h Collection of shirts. Slim. Trim. Higher .
atmholes. Narrower sleeves. Perfectly proportioned. >>
| Very elegant. Very sleek. Very European. * у

PLAYBOY

MONTEZUMAS OFFICIAL GUIDE
TO THE ANCIENT TEQUILA ARTS.

The Aztec Empire. It's long gone. However, Horny Bull™ Cocktail. A horned animal symbolizes
modern man is rediscovering its secrets. the 7th day of the Aztec week, representing high
Akey to the rediscovery is the Sun Stone, a MAZATL "7 spirited and casual fun. The

sort of time-capsule that outlines the history of the e drink: 1 oz, Montezuma Tequila
Aztecs and, according to Montezuma" Tequila, © ГТ > over ice in unusual glassware,
what the Aztecs liked to drink and when they mason jar, jelly jar, beer mug etc.;
liked to drink it. Ы fill with fresh orange juice or orange
Within the inner ring of the breakfast drink.

Sun Stone are twenty symbols;
one for each day of the Aztec
week, Сас symbol also sug-
gests what kind of drink
might be appropriate го

Tequila Fizz. The rain symbol-
hà izes the 19th day of the Aztec
week, representing cool re-
freshment. The drink: 2 ох.

serve on thar day. Ў о A Montezuma Tequila; juice

sisi % lime; teo-
Montezuma 23) TIG spoon sugar:
Margarita. Ge < КО Е (oq two dashes
The flower ©» Ng : oronge bit
symbolizes (9 5 D wu» LLP) ters stir in

the last day of ће Aztec
week, representing the
ultimate in true beauty and
pleasure. The drink: 2 oz.
Montezuma Tequila: № ох.
Triple Sec; juice 4 lime: pinch of
salt; stir in shaker over ice; rub rim
of cocktail glass with lime peel and ene and uncomplicated plec-
spin in salt; strain shaker into cocktail gloss. sure. The drink: Pour 1%
Bia Bn ie mu » 4 ог. of Montezuma Gold
Tequila-Pineapple Liqueur The 3rd Tequila in shot glass. Put salt on back
day of the Aztec week is symbolized | — of thumb: hold a wedge of lime between thumb
by а house, representing hospitality шаа 8 САШ ОПО Ist finger; lick salt, drink Tequila, bite into lime
and at-home entertaining. The drink: S88 in one flowing motion.
fill o jor half way with chunks of ripe pineapple: Montezuma Tequila. In White. In Gold
pour Montezuma Tequila to the brim; add 1 teo- Made in the tradition of the finest ancient tequilas.
spoon sugar (op- = For additional Tequila Arts recipes, write:
tional); cap jar and Montezuma Tequila Arts, Barton Brands, 200 South
place in refrigerator Michigan Ave., Chicago, Illinois 60604. And may
for 24 hours; drain тмони Tonatiuh* smile upon you.

of gud ord Seve Montezuma
AI Montezuma
TEQUILA

QUiAMUTL О fall gloss
over ісе; fill with club sodo;
garnish with lime shell.

Tequila Straight. Water sym-
bolizes the 9th day of the Aztec
week, representing simple

liqueur.

“Tonatiuh: Aztec god of the sun
©1974 80 Proof. equilo Вопоп Distilers Import Co. New York New Yor!

DEAR PLAYBOY

DELI m

COMMONER DENOMINATOR

The July interview with Barry Com-
moner is one of the most refreshing J
1. So many large companies
are «o bent on profit and are so u

have ever г

con
cerned with real needs that l'm not sure
even God can help us.
Victoria Bullard
Fayetteville, North Carolina

Your interview is a m:
journalistic exposition. Commoner is
probably the finest, most perceptive in-
tellect interviewed by you in а long time
1, 100, believe that more and more Amer-
icms are beginning to challenge the
myths of corporate America. Now, more
than ever, as we are led from one crisis
to another by those who are more inter-

terful piece of

ested in their annual balance sheets than
in building a decent society, people arc
beginning to see that, in Commoners

words, “once you understand the problem,
you find that its worse than you ever
expected

Michael P. Moffitt
Institute for Policy Studies
Washington, D.C.

Commoner faults U.S. oil comp:
for not concentrating
in this county. The fault, however,
lies not with the ой companies but
with the Federal Government, which has
never allowed a single exploratory well
to be drilled on the Atlantic Seaboard,
whi
ry with price controls on interstate nat
ural-gas sales and which has delayed the
building of the Alaskan pipeline. Com-
moner’s hysteria about U. S. ой comp:

s is so acute that if Exxon and Shell
jointly discovered the cure for cancer, he
would scream, “Antitrust!”

ies
their exploration

h has strapped the petroleum indu:

Thomas L. Torget

Spring. Texa

Conary to Commoner's claim, U.S.
oil companies have not “walked away
from exploration in the U.S."

^" Over the

five-year period, 1968-1972, the domestic
peuoleum industry drilled а тош] of
138000 wells in the U. S, at a cost of

18 billion dollars. During the 1970-1972
period, nearly 79 percent of all petroleum
wells and nearly 72 percent of all ex-
ploratory wells drilled in the free world
were drilled in the United States. And

during the 1968-1972 period. some 21
billion barrels of crude oil and 78.7 tr
lion cubic feet of natural gas were added
to the nation's proved reserves. This in-
cludes the nearly ten billion barrels of ой
ul 26 trillion cubic fect of natural gas
found on Alaska’s North Slope but not
yet available to consumers six and а half
уси after their discovery.

Frank N. Hard, President

American Petroleum Institute

Washington, D.C.

Just as your July issue arrived on the
stands, the Sierra Club, the nation's
est activist conservation organization,
learned that the Federal Energy Ad
istration admitted that a Тагве portion of
the oil that will be carried via the Alaskan
pipeline would, prior to 1985, go to Ja-
pan. So much for the oil companies’ argu-
ment that we need the Alaskan pipeline
to meet our energy necds.

Stuart M, Isracl

Columbus, Ohio

In arguing for some form of nationali-
zation of the oil industry, Commoner
states that private industry has failed to
do а good job of organizing the railroad
industry. In laci, private enterprise did
4 superb job of building our railroad sys-
tem. Our railroads have been destroyed
by four decades of onerous and ignorant
Govern by the Inter-
state Commerce Commission and dozens
of other bureaus. I simply can't believe
that the system that has failed us so m
erably with the post office, railroads and
clectric utilities (not to mention Water-
gate and wage-and-price controls) offers
any promise of а solution

Charles Flynn

Chicago, Illinois

g on behalf of the Transporta-
tion. Association of America, of which I
president, I would like to differ with
Commoner. Nationalization is not an
appropriate, adequate or effective meas-
ure with which to cope with current
transportation or other bu: prob-
Jems. It is dear from your interview that
Commoner espouses socialism as the
"wer do such woes. This nation has
been vigorously opposed to socialistic
government. and. economics

Commoner

PLAYDOY, ocronen,
AVENUE, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS SOSIN, SUBSCRIPTIONS.
YEAHS, S10 FOR THO TEARS. S40 FOR ONE vean

EMERY змити, м)

AVENUE, CHICAGO, ILLINOIS вови, AND ALLOW зо DAVE гок CHANCE. MARKETING, шенан А тазын
ING: HOWARD W. LEDENER, ADVERTISING DINECTON; HERBERT D. MINELDVEC, ASSOCIATE АН ИЛЫ d
JOSEPH GUENTHER, ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING MANAGERS, 747 THIRD AVENUE, MEW YORK, NEW Yous teats, Duis
ANGELES, STANLEY L- PERKINS, MANAGER 4711 BEVERLY BOULEVARD

319 NORTH мили
115 POSSESSIONS AND CANADA, $24 TOR TURLE
ALLOW 30 DAYS FOR NEW SUBSCRIPTION, AND

PLAYBOY EUILOING, 919 NORTH MICHIGAN

Lte соттикв,

SAN FRANCISCO, ROBERT E. STEPHENS, манаскн. «v» монт.
3106 PIEDMONT FOAD, M.E., ATLANTA. GIORGIA 30305

Now youcan
shave close.
And feel good
about it.

New Special Edge, with more
protective lubrication than any foam,
lets you press harder, shave Close,
and still get a comfortable shave.
And that's something
а sensitive face can smile about.

EDGE is a trademark © 1974
S.C. Johnson & Son, inc., Racine, Wisc., U.S.A,

PLAYBOY

Tell her

you love her.

Everyday.

Anenduring

reminder.

Lady Sheaffer?
as precious as it is practical.

The “Lady Sheaffer” collection
of high fashion gift:

Give her a keepsake.
From $5.00.

р» {

малкото ми
pL

SHEAFFER.

гоп COMPANY

claims to distrust “hig business.” What
he actually distrusts are the America
people whose demands set the course for
ss, big and small. By nationalizing
industries, Commoner would
ove the decision-making

economi

proces to the political arena, No longer
would the people have—as they do now
in our free-enterprise system—a direct

voice т instead.
ted in a
small coterie of individuals who would
assume the right to make those decisions
in the people's name.

economic deci

such power would be concent

Paul |. Tierney
Washington, D.C.

Commoners statement that trucks use
five times

s trains to move
ht is typical of his
broad-brushed propagandistic approach
to economics. The Department of Trans-
tion has admitted that a shift of
lroads would.
save only 1.6 percent of our energy, would
st 15 billion dollars and would require
st 15 years. И trucks. were climi
i movemen ev
would have to
ilroad siding. I would suggest
Commoner shut down his tax-
exempt center and return to his
home in Russia, wher
tions arc realities,
H. Dillon Winship. h-
Cha of the Be
American Trucking Associations
Washington, D.C.

The question of who should r
railroads has provided a lot of a
as to which ec uld oper
ate

ofr nd trucks in Sovier trcight
transport and М some facis all
who debate this question should. consid

er: The Soviet Union is two and a half
times the size ol the United States and
has only a third as much track mileage as

red that Soviet
iheir ca
еу can
ows did.
sc in track miles.
the labor force and
Ш in the number of loco-
ау, Soviet railroads
dle three rimes as much freight

as ours do and Soviet freight c
stand idle only one fourth of the time
U.S. freight d 'wrthermore. the
viets ошу rec egan conversion. 10
more сйс ic and. diesel-electric
t hey di
been mostly

эре:
reached

пу

сгсазс at

in use.

at elec
es Wh
plished so

com
with

should the
the U.S.
and Government officials ever really be-

come serious about taking айап
action toward the cfhei of U.S.
freight transport, the ly forget

ideological differences and look to the
Soviet Union for technical assistance.
"Thats а hell of a way to run a rail-
road" could take on a whole new
meaning.

Robert C. Mullally
East Lansing, Michig,

Few, if any, discussi
crisis thar faces this
world have been me
your interview. “We
any [railroad]
says Comm

of the energy
i а the

tionwide е
дета this, Amirak
ап, response to problems of
providing services essential to indust
societies as they reach maturity. There is
1 riding on this experiment.

Lewis, President
National R;
Passenger Corpora
Washington, D.C.

You
vou beli

both way
ve in profits ог you 1
Commoner’s nogrowth. commu
dise. Ds thar simple.
В. W. Pete
Belle

If Commoner is right, it looks like our
golden age will go down in history as
lar briefer than the Iron, Bronze
Stone ages that preceded it.

It is my firm belief that nuclear tech-
nology cau withstand the most searchin
1d open inquiry, because it has evolved
trom the very beg à salety con
siderations foremost
liam О. Doub, C
Energy Cc

In any technological society. the need
for large amounts ol energy is implicit.

ll need mor
imum needs

erview, Com
inadequate
energy needs, but his
ism is of fission; һе overlooks the

prospect. of

| conscrv
that, while all othe
х ves could be exhausted i
1000 years, the energy ble fro
deuterium n could Та for al
1 fusion reactors,

їп great 10 fission. reacte
would be |y harmless. both
operationally mentally. ‘The

ЛЕС, for
» aggressive. rese:

Hits faults, is conductin
directed

Warning: The Surgeon бепега! Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. Now, lowered tar KGDL Milds
т "M ^

WSON TOBACCO CORFONALION

0.9 mg. nicotine: Kings, 17 mg. "tar." 1.3 mg. nicotine;

mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report Mar. 74

PLAYBOY

Morgan—a dummy recording head in the best seat at the Boston
Symphony's Tanglewood Music Festival—gave Bose a key
answer acoustical engineers had sought for ten years. The shrill and
harsh sounds characteristic of even the finest of conventional
home music loudspeakers were apparently caused by beaming sound
waves directly at a listener.

In alive performance, sound waves from musical instruments reflect
from all surfaces of the hall and arrive at a listener's ears from all
directions. The same sound comes to each separate ear milliseconds
apart. Our mind pulls it together. Like a willow swept by rain, we
are bathed in sound, and just as our two eyes unify
an image, so do our ears cooperate.

As simple as this seems, Bose engineers spent years at exacting
experimentation to discover that more precise electronics
wouldn't close the gap between the experience of concert music and

conventional hi-fi. The answer lay in how music travels to our ears.
So Bose created an unconventional speaker which grazes music
off the walls of your listening room, forming a spatial environment of
sound similar to that of a concert hall.
The precise illusion of sound spread through a room is uncanny .
comes from areas, not points. Sit anywhere in your room: your
ears needn't focus; the sound is there . . . fifth row center. Bose owners
know that the difference between a fine sound system
and a great one is the speakers.

It all begins with the speakers.

Ask your franchised Bose dealer to A-B
our 901° with any conventional speaker,
regardless of size or price.

For information on Bose Direct/Reflecting®
speakers, write us at Dept.B
To locate your nearest Bose dealer, call toll |
®

free, 800-447-4700. In Illinois, call 800-322-4400

The Mountain, Framingham, Mass. 01701 і

toward the attainment of controlled. fu
sion—a program that deserves better rec-
ognition than Commoner has bestowed
upon it

Michael Dunn.
Seattle, Washington
Stay tuned in; Richard Rhodes reports
on fusion in our next issue

Though I agree with much of wh
Commoner says, Fm afraid that your
otherwise commendable interview with
him leaves your r
pressions of the population. movement
that are. mislcadin No onc ] know iu
the population movement claims that
population control is the “only solution
to the problems of pollution and energy
shortage," to use your interviewer's
words. Nor do we dream of reducing
population by 86 percent, as Commoner
s. We do believe that the problems of
pollution and the shortages of energy

aders with some im-

and food are aggravated by continued
population growth. To quote the Re-
port of the Commission on Population
Growth and the American Future,
"While slower populat owth pro
vides opportunity [to solve our prob:
lems), it docs not guarantee that such
opportunities will be well used. It sim
ply opens up a range of choices we
would not have otherwise."

Miriam Wolf

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Commoncr states that he considers him.
self lucky to use his knowledge as a tool
with which to inform the public. It is we
who are enormously lucky to have him
and people like him,

Joseph D. Pasquino
Cleveland Heights, Ohio

LIVING DAHL
Roald Dahl's Bitch (PLAYnov, July) is
a fantastic piece of fiction. Its only short
coming is the lack of a scratch. ‘n’ snilf
at the end so we all could experience
the effects of the most powerful aphro.
disiac ever created.
Sieve Raglin
Lincoln. Nebraska

BUBBLE, BUBBLE

L thoroughly enjoyed Mordecai Rich.
les July account of the 1973 Gnostic
Aquarian Festival in Witches’ Brew. I
did, however, notice one slight inaccura
cy. Richler wrote that a fellow witch and
1 were unable to m.
ly did make it rain! Oh, it wasn't

e it rain, We most

one of your spectacular rains- just a
hesitant drizle off and on for the next
few days. The rub is that Mordecai had
asked for sunshine!

Carolyn Clark, High Priestess

Church of All Worlds

St. Louis, Missouri

Witches’ Brew is a predictable reac

tion on the part of those ill-informed

Acme's got America
wearing denims
on their feet.

When Acme first introduced denim in ѕо you can be sure our denim boots are
our Асте” Western boots and Dingo” boots, everything a denim boot should be.

it started a stampede. Since then, a lot of And they're priced to leave you with some
denim-come-latelys have stepped upon cash in your jeans.

the scene. But still nobody makes denim When you're looking for denim
boots like Acme. boots, insist upon denims branded with

We're the world’s largest bootmaker,

Гасме] dingo’

more boot for less bucks.

We also make Hawkeye’ boots.
For the store near you, write: Acme Boot Co, Inc, Dept. DE104, Clarksville, Jenn. 37040. A subsidiary of Nonhwest Industries, lnc.

PLAYBOY

nt only to expose witches,
voyants as frauds. As
1 witches seldom attend public
gs—because 90 percent of witch-
meets are bullshit.

Bill Wheeler

Association of Cymmry Wicca.

Athens, Georgia

Witches’ Brew К. Vm sure, а truc
port at occurred at a particu-
ar witches’ convention. What is sad is
that these people have become the sole
representatives of and spokesmen Гог the
Old Religion. The Old Religion was а
genuine religious expression that met
three needs. Cosmology: Tt explained
how people came to be and how they fit
into the syste: whole. Consolation:
It gave meaning to the sorrows expei
enced here оп earth. And ethics It
grounded a code of behavior. None of
these major aspects of the Old Religion,
however, come through in the degener

form in which it is apparently practiced
today.
‘ol Ochs, € son
Department of Philosophy
(mons College
I sey
Robert Sherrill’s July opini
on CIA director Will Colby, No

Success Like Failure, is worthy т
essential to enlightening the publi
people like Sherrill who, by exposing the
flaws in our system, offer a bit ol hope
for us all.

(Name withheld by request)
‘ederal Reformatory
El Reno, Oklahoma

Sherrill paints an accurate picture of
the dilemma facing America when our
Government allows men like Colby to

to the wp even after failure and
crimes against humanity. This problem
will continue until we Americans abol-
ish the structures in our society that
spawned Colby and his CLA assassination
machine.

Tim Burz
nizing Committee
for a Filth Est
hingto

SIC TRANSIT, GLORIA
Thank you for Frederick. Exley's en-
counter with Gloria Steinem and his waltz
down memory lane in Saint Gloria and
the Troll (rivnov, July).
P. T. Rothacher
Toms River, New Jersey

Saint Gloria and the Troll places a
great deal of its emphasis on Exley's per-
sonal attitude. toward such subjects as
n. As a lesbian, I believe Exley
ith very little insight imo the
subject. I believe th safely say
that his brielle, described as а

lesbian in the article. is no lesbian at all
but merely a frustrated straight who
turned to other women when men
couldn't get her rocks oll. Lesbianism is
a positive statement ol sexual prefer-
ence, mot as Exley writes, something
“every noble soul accepts,” as he accepts

icer а self
contracts й sm is no “disease.
a Medical Assoc

ithheld by request)
fornia

It can't be possible that your m
aders identify with the poor,
petent and totally misled “
wrote Saint Gloria. I it is, I'm going to
stop praying for the women of this coun-
пу and start praying for the men

Jada Bouvién

Cypress, California

Even when compared with his classic
novel, A Fan's Notes, Exley's Saint Gloria
is no disappointment.

Glen Creason

Los Angeles, California

Apart from a talent as abundant as
of his idol, Saul Bdlow—plus a
illiant comedic sense—Exley seems to
be that precious rarity, a thoroughly hon-
est no-bullshit guy. Congratulations to
PLAYBOY for giving this topllight. writer
the audience he deserve:

John Bright

North Hollywood, Californi:

FFDERAL CASE.

Kudos to Douglas Bauer for his excel-
lent artide on a month in Federal
Court, Nothing but the Truth... and
Other Lies (pLavuoy, July). For a non-
lawyer. this young writer has an
awareness of what takes place prior to
d during a cial, amd his ability to
take the temper of litigants in closely
contested tr с depicted in
his report is simply excellent.

A. Don Crowder, Attorney at Law
Dallas, Texas

mazing

|5 such as th

Bauer did an excellent job of report-
ing some of the ies in our courts
today. But 1 still think what happened
10 Ouo Kerner and Theodore Isaacs is
sad. Г wonder if maybe we are sometimes

y Atherton
Rockford, Illinois

STRANGE CUSTOMS
Your July article Diary of a Customs
Inspector. by Frank Jacobs and Peter Pit-
а joy to read. In 1973. I м:
в inspector, so the article
brought back some gre

Jacobs and Pitkin fail to.
the American consum

expenses, over
holiday pay, Sunday pay. night«lilfer
tial pay, incentive awards, health insur-

ance. life insurance and retirement
benefis of the Customs oflicers. who
delay, annoy and harass us.

W. T. Toney, Jr.
Nacogdoches, Tex:

When I was in the sm
it was the first Ty passenger met
who determined the extent to which the
er was to be inspected. The trav-
colored folder

gling business,

wt no check and

check, and so on. Now:

cobs and РИКИ s changed.

You guys sure make it hard Гог someone

like me to make au honest living.

(Name and address
withheld by request)

ccording to

‚ the system h

LENNY LIVES

Your Playhoy After Hours review of
Albert Goldman's Ladies and Gentle-
men—Lenny Bruce! (втлувох, July)
an attack on the author rather than a r
view of wha knowledge
able а ms is “the
greatest sustained closeup in the history
of biography." The nameless schmuck
who wrote your picce takes
task for using Lenny
the book. Lenny h
ballsiness, so let's talk about the balls
it took for Goldman—who was а pro-
fessor of сотр: it Co-
lumbia for 20 years—to write this book
in the style he did. As one of the
who allegedly “helped put [the] book
together,” I warned Gold
likelihood of violent а
this technique. Critics have never been
able to understand that one can be both
а hipster and lemician at the
same time. What your reviewer forgets is
that Lenny’s la
$ the language of the
as for your reviewer's
about the book's costing
e that’s just gone
ich Playboy
Press has made oll of How to Talk Dirty
and Influence People since Lenny's death.

Chic Eder
San Luis Obispo, California

ng shprit
bucks a

ien

upto 51

It's about time somebody had enough
sense to put down the assholes who a
leaping on the Bruce band w
that there's money to be made and now
that it’s socially acceptable to do so. C.
gratulations to PLAYBOY for telling it
like it i

now

igon

Jef Glavick
Forest Hills, New York

San Francisco? Los Angeles?

Straight Bourbon
Whisky |
86 PROOF у & |

ISULE a BOTTLED sx EARLY TIMES,

Move over vodka, gin, rum. Here we come...

INGREDIENTS: 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, '% oz. Sweet Vermouth, 1 Dash Bitters. INGREDIENTS: 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Triple Sec, orange juice.
RECIPE: Stir 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, %% oz. Sweet Vermouth, 1 Dash RECIPE: Fill highball glass with ice. Add 2 oz. EARLY TIMES and.
Bitters with ice; strain into stem glass. Garnish/cherry. 1 oz. Triple Sec. Fill with orange juice, and stir.
Float teaspoon Grenadine.

perience

INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, ?4 oz. Green Creme de Menthe, INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. Dry Vermouth.
% oz. White Creme de Cacao, 1 oz. Coffee Cream. RECIPE: Combine 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Triple Sec. 1 oz.
RECIPE: Shake with cracked ice 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, Dry Vermouth, with cracked ice; strain into stem glass.
% oz. Green Creme de Menthe, % oz. White Creme de Cacao, Garnish/lemon twist.
1 oz. Cream. Strain into whisky sour glass.

на < соо Nm

oer eet

INGREDIENTS: 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, INGREDIENTS: 17 oz. EARLY TIMES,
4 oz. Pineapple Juice, 2 oz. Cranberry Juice. 1 oz. Green Creme de Menthe, 1 oz. Simple Syrup, 7-Up®.
RECIPE: Shake 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, 4 oz. Pineapple Juice, RECIPE: With ice mix 1% oz. EARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Green Creme de Menthe,
2 oz. Cranberry Juice, with cracked ice; 1 oz. Simple Syrup; strain into stem glass, top with 7-Up*.
pour in highball glass. Garnish/'/ slice orange. Garnish /cherry, straw.

— _ ПЕЕ
The Boston Bourbon Магу

INGREDIENTS: 1/ cz. EARLY TIMES, Tomato Juice, Worcestershire INGREDIENTS: 11% oz. EARLY TIMES,
Sauce, Tabasco Sauce, Slice of lime (or Favorite Bloody Mary Mix). ‘4 oz. White Creme de Menthe, Dash of Bitters, Lemon Peel.
RECIPE: Combine 1'4 oz. EARLY TIMES, Tomato Juice, RECIPE: Rub edge of rocks glass with lemon peel; over rocks
Worcestershire and Tabasco Sauce to taste (or Bloody Mary Mix). add 1% oz. EARLY TIMES, 7 oz. White Creme de Menthe,
Add ingredients to highball glass filled with ice. Garnish /lime slice. Dash of Bitters, and stir. Garnish/lernon peel.

x Ny

INGREDIENTS: 4 oz. EARLY TIMES, 1% oz. Cranberry Juice, INGREDIENTS: 1% oz. EARLY TIMES,
1 oz. Lemon Juice, 2 tablespoons Sugar. М oz. Apricot Brandy, *? oz. Grenadine, 2 cz. Lime Juice.
RECIPE: Blend at high speed 4 oz. EARLY TIMES, 17 oz. RECIPE: Shake with ice 172 cz. EARLY TIMES, 7 oz. Apricot Brandy,
Cranberry Juice, 1 oz. Lemon Juice, 2 tablespoons Sugar. У oz. Grenadine. # oz. Lime Juice. Pour in highball glass.
Add ice until punch is "snow." Serves two in rocks glasses. Garnish/lime slice, green cherry.

m 5

INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. FARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Creme de Banana,
Ys oz. Triple Sec, /^ oz. Lemon Juice, 2 oz. Pineapple Juice.

Wherever you are, and whatever you mix us with, cola,
RECIPE: In Blender combine 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, 1 oz. Creme de Banana, ginger ale, the uncola, cherry soda, lemonade, water or just

oz. Triple Sec, ' oz. Lemon Juice, 2 oz. Pineapple Juice, with ice; a clatter of ice cubes, once you know us, you'll love us.
pour in highball glass half filled with cracked ice. Garnish/ pineapple slice, straw.

ў
we

ХӘ;

PUSSYCAT GLASS OFFER: То get a set of 4-10'^ оз. Pussycat glasses and 4 packets of Instant Pussycat Mix, send $2.95 to:
Early Times Pussycat Glasses, P.O. Box 378, Maple Plain, Minnesota 55359. — p К
[знн АЙКЫН ын ий нат, Pull out Insert here —>

More opposite page

‘The Florida senate, in reject-
the Equal Rights Amendment,
explained its rationale through a spokes-
man:

Саһ you imagine an 18-year-old
girl, raised in the Church, being drafted
into a barracks full of hardened military

There's no doubt in our mind that th
story's apocryphal, but а reader in West
Germany claims that something very
much like this happened, A German com-
pany ordered а shipment of coffee from
U. S. firm, but when it arrived, rats were
discovered in a couple of bags. The Ge
man firm is supposed 10 have sent ше
following letter (and if it didn't, it should
have):

Schentlemens:

Der last two packetches ve got uff
koflec vas mit rate schidt mixt. Der
koffee may be gutt enuff, but der
ratt schidt schpoile der trade. Ve
did rate schidt in der
zamples vich you sent us for exam

пог see der

inashun

Id take so much time to pik der
kolfee. It vas a
mistook, ya? Ve like you to schip us
der koflec in von sak und der ratt
schidt in der odder sak, den ve mix
it t0 suit der kostomer

t turds from der

Write please if ve shood schip der
schidt bak und kip der koffee, or if
ve shood kip der schidt und schip der
koffee bak, or schip der hold schidten
vorks bak.

Ve vant to do rite in dis matter,

but ve don't like dis rattschidt
business.
Da-da-doo! When a California firm

named Dy-Dee Wash sued Tidec-Didce
Service for
Didec-Tidee, a superior-court judge ruled
gainst Dy-Dee, saying that T'idec-Didee's
advertising as Didee-Tidee did not con-
[use customers of either firm.

Diaper advertising itself as

Must be dynamite stul
Greenville News т South

Carolina. re-
ports it, a Dr. Marvin J. Short said that

while alcohol usually passes out of di

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

body within eight hours, "a compound in
marijuana usually remains in the body
from [our days to a weed.

A couple more tidbits for name-drop-
pers: The new president of the American
Fertility Society is Dr. Coy Lay and the
coordinator of San Francisco's Pregnancy
Control Center is а Miss Knightly.

А jocular gentleman named Allen
Lewis walked into a dentists office in
Farcham, England, and asked for a check-
up. He told the doctor he was terrified of
dentists and he wouldn't open his mouth
unless first given a blast of laughing gas
The dentist complied. After Lewis’ guf-
faws had died away and he began to doze,

the dentist opened Lewis’ mouth and
discovered that he had no teeth, “I just
have a thing for laughing gas" Lewis

later told police with a chuckle.

Caron Fisk, catcher for the Boston
Red Sox, was modest about his major-
league record: "Гуе been hit in the groin
five times since May first." Aside from
Fisk's aches and. pains, however, the real
problem for newspapers how to
the reports.
Buddy LaRoux told reporters,
inal injury, during spring t:
the worst, ... Fisk's testicles were terribly
swollen.” As The Boston Globe later put
it, “Local newspapers held long, soul-
searching editorial conferences to deter-
ine whether the word testicle might
appear in print... . It was finally decided

wits

handle medical Trainer

he orig-
ning. was

that, as part of the body, the testide of
k could be identified—probably since
every other pubic affair was being dis-
cussed in newspapers, magazines and on
radio and television

An ecology bumper sticker in

Angeles: stuck FOG!

Los

Could those Scandi.
navian sex changes? For 200 years, the
Danes have called their famous aperitif
Cherry Heering. Henceforth, the name
will be Peter Heering.

this be one of

Movies rated X have been banned in
Covington, Kentucky, for т
highway safety. A judge ruled that the

sons of

Dixie Gardens Drive-

the films. because

1 must stop show-
nude scenes had
caused. massi

Interstate 75.

e mallic tie-ups on nearby

When The Providence Journal Bul-
letin reported that Dennis Evans had
been arrested "on the spot" during а
burglary at а drugstore, Evans called

PLAYBOY

from jail to complain that his professional
skills had been slurred. He was picked up
by police, he said, an hour later and over
а mile from the store. Furthermore, he
stid, he had never been picked up “on
the spor” during amy of his burglari
The newspaper ran a frontpage correc-
tion the next day

head at the office? An Iowa
ance company specializing in group

health insurance allowed this unusual
daim: "Compensation for gonorrheal

arthritis which was accelerated. by an
employment-connected blow."

In a story about a
tion ceremony, the Buchs County Courier
Times reported this lively event: "Craig
Fry did some impressive work on the
Joanne Krouse gently soloed
ful sons

h school gradua-

two beaut

EVENTS

Neva Friedenn is becoming our Un-
official Historian of California Weird—
which, as you might imagine, keeps her

opening of the OddBall
ssorunent of programed

Olympics—an
lunacies designed specifically to add ne
mes to the Guinness Book of World
Records, held, naturally, at Century City
in Los Angeles. The place isell is a
startling visual symbol of one-up.
a complex of Beverly Hills high
leaves no simple geometrical shape un-
built. oid her
soaring rectangles everywhere. So it's n
surprise that the Century Square Shop-
ping Center has decided to overachieve
in the open air, publicizing itself through
such come-one-come-all events as Gold-
fish Swallowing, Face Slapping and P
е g contests

But by Sa
of the marathon events, Waan A
Serran has already been here four and a
half days. keeping himself awake, moving
slowly to and fro in a rocking chair. Cur-
rent world record: 307 hours, 30 minutes.
Wuan's out to break it because he's just
hack in LA. after a lot of travel, he's а
little between things and has а mother
who's a doctor and can put him back to-
gether if he rocks himself to bits. His
sion had begun to fuz
"PH be halluci

ship.

-an а

after the first

ау
ing by the time you
come back с urday," he promised,
and he's as good as his word. By now he's
hot just seeing things, he's not seeing
things that are plainly there, He's also got
an earache, a sore throat from talking too
much and finally—to Hash forward a few
days—a nervous breakdown. But it's all
taken care of: His mom comes by and

ves him a trank to eliminate the sm
g/weeping, municdepresive, battle-
fatiguelike symptoms. She and Wuans
ladyfriend also administer hugs, and
pretty soon he's straight again, says he
never really was scared. but only so dis
oriented that it was like watching som
one who needed a lot of help and it just
happened to be himself See, in Cali
fornia you can do most of it outdoors,
even your epiphanies. It turns out U
the soporific effects of rocking were i
conflict with Ше need to мау awake,

and, with rocking out of the way, Wuan

up two short of his goal. Wuan'll live; he's
only 20. As a matter of fact, the Century
City promoters and journalists who con-
ceived the OddBall Olympics were all
under 30—as were most of the aspiring
record breakers. And thiy series of youth
ful follies turned out to be the I
record-breaking event of its kind i
history of the world, no lic, with 42 scores
broken and set for categories new and old.
‘And so the sleck ladies with shopping
bags who are, really, looking for a col-
fee shop—frankly, a tuna salad—get in-
stead a couple of hundred OddBall
spectators right in the sluts, and they
practically lose their
rifying blast of sound: ‘The Roto Rooter
Good Time Christmas Band is doing i

тап» from а ter-

strange brassy thing, creating an alloy of
Spike Jones, Dan Hicks, the more lyric
modes of Zappa s the Live Gold.
fish Swallow as. The previous
Guinness record was 995 at a sitting, here

broken by John Parker, who after two
hours can be caught peering into the
nearly empty fish bucket, rellections

from the water d fe
tured young face. He's just made his
300th kill, and he's mesmerized. John
says he didn't practice prior to the con-
test, and he's not sorry: You have to swa
low cach individually, and even
though you can [eel them wriggling only
to the base of your throat. it’s
enough. After that, it's his opinion, th
must get scrunched or something,

Bill "Fox" Foster is an older, fire-hy
drantshaped guy in a hat made from the
sides of Coors cans. He's semipro. At
Beer Chngging. He entertains patrons in
his Wilshire Boulevard bar by down!
mugs so fast they'd swear he's throw
over his shoulder. But he's not,
Olympics, he's set

onc

down

git
At the
the record, a mug
in a split second. in Tull view. He chugs

two to anybody else's one and can do it
imost as fast standing on his head. For
cach fear of this peculiarly American
yogi, Foster's fans repeat his hortatory
chant. which roughly “Siggy-saki.
siggy-saki, hoy, hoy, hoy.” at sports-cheer
tempo. After that act, all young amateur
Jerry Cowan can do is go after а differ-
ent record: He chugs а 4-ounce pitch
of beer in 5.2 seconds! He says later that
he warmed up with just three beers on
the way here, that he customarily d
case а day and hustles his talent
pop at bars where he's unknown.
"So what was that T saw you de
ht after? Was it maybe belching:
Dh, that. Хо. After E put the pitcher
down, I happened to look over at ü
kid caring the goldfish. What
was me gaggi
А wander down the mall leads p
timers and counters: past the ten-year
olds on pogo sticks. the unicycle riders,
the album-cover-on-the-fnger spinner, the
Ieaplrogyers, the marathon pool. players
They're all reaching the 10,000th hop.
the 40th mile, the 18th hour, whatever
From afar comes the cry that someone

you saw

has just eaten 17 bananas in two minutes.
Somewhere kids are cating hot dogs,
grapes, cheese, cookies, spaghetti, ice

(ream, prunes, pizza. pancakes, pickles
are playing paddle ball, Frisbee, air hock-
cy, checkers and Monopoly both. open
and on d under
water: are ма
one leg, twiddling thumbs, burp
in 15 seconds, “Burper” Bernstein). ca
wheeling, clapping, carrying bricks, cram-
ming chewing gum into their mouth. . . -

Ош here on th of Western civili-
zation, American adults have pretty much
defaulted on the responsibility to chal-
lenge the famous eccentricity of their
contemporaries in England; up till now,

The sextant:
solid brass with silver inlay.
Made about 1835 by Bates of London
for trans-Atlantic sailings.
The cigarette:
a modern blend of 4 premium tobaccos
gathered fronr$ continents,

Apóüntries dnd states.

Micronite filter.
‘Mild, smooth taste.
Americas qo cigarette.
Kent

må ficat. 005: 18 mg "Gr for Deluxe 100's,
rive, РТС Report Ма. Їй. 11 > : Ў

PLAYBOY

British adults have dominated the Guin-
ness Book. So these California kids have
had to мер in, and the OddBall Olym.

pics people have had to maintain
certain standards, though nearly invi
ble, of id convention. The sim-

pler, titer recent forms of attaining
notoriety were disbarred from the first;
kes and marathon kissers were
пей down cold. But a few totally new
concepts were lost that way, chances for

events more sophisticated, fresher, too.

id that first
and then eat it. In front
the record,

Saturday and . .
of everybody. Е

DINING-DRINKING

San Francisco is renowned among
diners out for two drink-and-eat elabora-
tions: the family-style, prix-fixe adapta
tion from the Italian (or French, Spanish
or P nd the Union or Montgom-
cry Street swingle-dingle body-exchange
bar with cheeseburgers. The Washington
Square Bar & Grill (1707 Powell Street), ov
g its urban park and the marvelous
ake Church of Peter and Paul,
y alone in a diminishing coi
п emphasis on hearty roasts
Лепей salads and economical
drinks for marathon talkers. Ownership
is sophisticated (we'll get to that), but
perhaps the chef is the key. Here, Aldo
Persich, а G0ish triestino, pretends to
по cordon-blew crap but is a great. all-
round cook and bon vivant, much be-
loved by the ladies who keep pecking into
the kitchen to see how the minestrone
bubbles. Style comes next: a neat, dean,
Third Ауспие-Чесо motif, with San
Francisco prints and a piano and а rich
mix of clientele—the sheriff and Ital-
an-neighborhood. socializers; Margo St.
James and the май of Coyote, the whores"
benevolent association (see this month's
On the Scene); statters from the local
offices of Newsweek, The New York
Times and Rolling Stone; writers and
nd widely unknown pocis who
udy the wetness of a glass on а
bar for possible inspiration. N
the place has history and social depth.
Deitsch, one of the famous St. Louis
beatniks of the Fi
hanging arou
cisco while he did the cooking and they
ate his food. Ed Moose got tired of man:

political campaigns for worthy
. Together they decided to open a
rd Avenue bar in
athip-Italian North

Beach, and found this place opposite
Washington Square Park. And now
s the Washington Square Ва

tasty
t modest prices, and
and Ed actually making money on
nds who used to eat at their
The WS.R&G has

m
the fri
places for free

swinging doors, proper paneling, antique
bar and nor too much attention yet. The
lunchtime special recently was а cold-
roastbeef salad with cucumbers, hearts
of palm and avocados, just because Ed's
wil felt like making up a
lunchtime salad of cold roast beef and
things. Other days, other whims. At ay
night they emphasize serious eat-
ig and conversation, simply by

presenting their anachronistic
formula of honest chow à A
Vitalienne and

hearty drink
«d the mel-
low evil
Irish vil
Deitsch PE:
Moose, Once
in a while, a
piano play
comes in, if it's

someone they enjoy. Once in a while, а
politico comes in to plot the liberal re-
volt, if it’s someone they сап stand. But
on a stack of back copies of PLAYBOY,
Deitsch and Moose swear the Washington
Square will never join the body-exchange
iks. Believe them. Washington Square
& Grill is open from 10 а.м. to 2 a.v
through Sunday. No credit cards.
tions for large groups only (115-
982-8123).

RECORDINGS

T's по disparagement of The Band,
probably the best rock group in the
country, to say that its music is not for
anguished lovers. The Torture Garden
is simply not part of its lower 40. Never-
theless, with The Band playing impecca
bly behind him, Bob. Dylan creates опе
of the most agonized and vindictive/
romantic antiheroes on record. Or the
st, depending on where уоште
$ from. The key songs on this I
double album, Before the Flood (Asylum).
re Most Likely You Go Your Way (And
ГИ Go Mine). Lay Lady Lay, It Ain't
Me, Babe and Like a Rolling Stone.

Always ап impressive dramatic singer,
Dylan now touch your soul at the
beginning of а verse and then, fal
with pitiless irony on the last word. deft-
ly cut your heart out (“But you know
you're not that strong!"). The vocal ef-
fect is like biting into a creamilled
chocolate that explodes on impact. Or
he'll chide the lady of the song with a
gooly tragic qu his voice that ulu-
lates between Frank Fontaine's imperson-
ation of a drunk and Emil Jannings
cockaow at the end of The Blue Angel.
Whether the effect thrills or shocks or
merely makes you wonder Why, Bob,
Why? depends again on your point of
view. We're in the Why, Bob? division,
even though we admit that the satanic
choral taunt “How does it feel?" on
Like a Rolling Stone freezes our blood.
Phe thaw comes with The Shape I'm

In, which The Band lays out like a
straight flush on a horse blanket. Cl
ly, the listener has changed hotels. Clas-
ics such as The Night They Drove
Old Dixie Down and Up on Cripple
Creck are not as good as the carlier ve
sions, but who knows—some night whe
your heart irrepressible and
unpredic m Cripple C
might jump like a from cut to сш

g brass bed, lie across

We're concerned about you out th
We hear you haven't been с
self lately, what with worrying about
taxes and narcotics and the dedine of the
West. So here's what we want you to do.
Go ош, get in the car and drive down-
town. Stop at the liquor store for a cou-
ple of six-packs, then go to the record
shop and pick up Reom Full of Roses, by
Mickey Gilley (it’s on the Playboy Rec-
ords label, so there is sor
for us). Take your purchases home. Pop
a top. turn the volume up a little loud,
take a load off your [cet and enjoy. Enjoy
some real good country music, oldies
such as Swinging Doors, San Antonio
Rose and Faded Love done right. Gilley
(see this month’s On the Scene) has
pl nd plays a piano that's
just honky-tonk enough. He sounds like
ry Lee Lewis and plays with his
stead of his fists. Now. whe
things get going good, help yourself to
nother beer, turn the record over and
listen to the other side, sing along a little.
There. See, you feel better already.

©.
oying your-

nt voice

For 30 years his music could hardly get
a bearing, and now he’s considered Amer
iors Б Charles Ives—
idealist, businessman, eccentric

atest compose

ness and writing his unique kind of music
that reflected everything from his Соц
necticut boyhood to politics to Shake-
speare. Yet the old gentleman couldurt fail
to be pleased by Charles Ives: The 100th Anni-
Masterworks), a fine

versery (Columbi:

five-LP sampling of his genius. Including
previously unreleased selections and
few improvisations never belore heard

the set is nd tribute to
Ives orchestral, chamber and choral
works—not to mention his songs, many of
which are superb. The four symphonies,
wisely not included here, are ble in
. One disc is
ry rare record
s of Ives p compositions:
her contains bits of insight and remi-
niscence by friends, relatives and aso-
ciates. I's a warm portrait and a full onc.

anywhere

good recordings elsewher
wholly devoted to some v

g his ow

k of the Smithsoni-
ic where

For those who th
an Institution as our national au

Innsbruck II—That's the name to ask for when you want a classic Western outfit with distinctive
yoke back pockets and striking contrast Stitching. Both jacket and flares feature 100. per cent
cotton sloan sateen that's rawhide tough, yet brushed denim soft. Flares $16, jacket $20. From
The Lee Company, 640 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10019. T

Acompanyof V corporation

PLAYBOY

Heineken—

the finest beer

from Holland is

the #1 imported

beer in America

because Heincken tastes tremendous.

Exclusive U.S. Importers:
Van Munching & Со, Inc., N.Y., N.Y.

"75
Heathkit Catalog

World's largest selection of electronic kits —
starring Heathkit digital-design color TV, digi-
tal date & alarm clocks, calculators, weather
instruments, stereo & 4-channel hii, fishing &
marine gear, metal locators, automotive tune-up
gear, а comprehensive Amateur Radio line-up,
R/C modeling, test instruments...hundreds
more. See them all in the new Heathkit cata-
log — yours free for the asking. Just fill out &
mail in the coupon below,

‘Meath Company, Dept. 38-10 e

Benton Harbor, Michigan 49022

C] Send my FREE 1975 Heathkit Catalog |

Name.
Address —

суве — Ap
asu |

everyone's oddball collections of war
planes, sea shells and bubblegum cards
get dumped. The Smithsonian Collection of
Classic Jazz (Smithsonian) will come as a
bit of a shock. It starts with Scott Joplin,
ends six LPs later with John. Coltrane
and is about as intelligent ап appraisal
of the jazz scene from then to now
we've come Like Sutter's Mill,
it has nuggets strewn about just wait
ng to be picked up. Louis Armstrong's
West End Blues, Art. Yatum’s Willow
Weep for Me, Basie’s Lester Leaps In.
lington’s Ko-ko, Charlie Parkers Em
braceable You and on and on. A lengthy
booklet on the contents is included and
the boxed edition сап be obtained for
521.50 [rom Classic Jazz, Р.О. Box 11196,
D.C. 20044.

across.

The songs on Elto
once prove that he and lyricist
Bernie Taupin are capable of brilliance
as well as excess. Caribou (MCA) con-
tinues the current fad of recording your:
self in odd places. This time its the
Colorado studio /ranch home of Chica-
go* mentor, James William. Guercio.
Unfortu the setting didn't help
the m much Yt

John’s latest entry

te: and Caribou a
no Honky Chateau. Elton gets as mellow
and emotive as he's ever been on Pinky
and Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me
(featuring as added attractions а couple
of Beach Boys on backup vocals) —which
leaves only eight songs that are too cute
d directionless or too reminiscent of
past work to be very exciting. Caribou is
by no means a failure, bui
with John's best work, we'll
Maybe it was the altitude.
From a solid "Yes," Rick Wakeman
has wavered to a qualified. “Maybe” in
his new solo album, Joumey to the Cen-
ter of the Earth (A&M). Even by bring-
ing in such heavy sidemen as Jules
Verne, the London symphony Orchestra
and David H Wa
Rick has managed to produce only a
naive attempt at a *
that would be great as the sound track
of a Disney musical. It makes you won-
der what sort of curity tempts а tal-
ented electronic musician to “legitimize”
his sound by smothering it in pseudo-
symphonic strings. The result is a mixed-
métier mess of good «тїр rock and
sizzling synthesizer, splattered with silly
ires of 19th
cently split Yes
A sad п
ny ind

ive it a 65.

narrator

classical-rock" cantata

orchestral cà Century ro

Wake

manticism.
to pursue more of the sa
take, indeed, if this record is
tion of what's to follow.

You really do have to give Chris Jagger
points just lor chuizpah, He's Iollowing
tough act in brother Mick—which isn't
sy. even if you're Stevie Wonder. And
now Jagger the Younger has put out his

second album, The Adventures of Valentine
Vox the Ventriloquist (Asylum), with a little
help from the likes of Peter Frampton
and Chris Stainton. Much of it, not
surprisingly. sounds like Baby Rolling
Stones—which, we would add, isn't the
worst thing in the world to sound like.
10% less polished, and his v
rife, but neither was Mid

t ter

sin the early
s. Remember how he didn't hit one
right on the Gol "Live" if You Want It
version of Satisfaction? For Chris, it's
more of a problem on the slower num
bers, where the musical energy goes limp.
But some cuts, such as Where Ате the
People and Like а Dog, are really good
rockers. Don't dismiss this other Jagger—
he's getting better all the time.

With the death of Duke Ellington, we
can expect to be inundated by musical
“tributes” that most certainly will be
pouring out of the record companies
And some of them will be enough to
make ше Duke roll over in his grave.
Not so, however, with Ead Hines Plays
Duke Ellington / Piano Solos Volume 2 & Vol-
vme 3 (MJR). The Раша recorded these
ile Ellington alive andike
volume one—they are superb interpre-
tations of a wide spectrum of the pre-
cminent jazz composers works In a
Mellotone, Satin Doll, Caravan, Just
Squeeze Me and ten others are all weated
with love and respect and the Duke
couldn't have asked for any more than
that. Available for $11 from Master Jazz
Recordings, Вох 579, Lenox Hill Station.
New York, New York 10021.

Still in his 20s, Gil Scot-Heron 15
a novelist, poet and songwriter to be
reckoned with. Now he's given notice
that the music world can make room for
а new colossus. The message comes in the
form of a Stra st LP, Winter in America,
which finds Scott-Heron coleading, with
Brian Jackson, an awesome quartet. Both
sing and play piano:
provides the heavy keyboard work, while
Scott Heron handles the lead singing in
an untutored but startlingly effective
voice. It's а real coming of age for him as
a performer. We can hardly wait, though.
till seasoned singers such as Joe Williams
get hold of these compositions, some of
which arc by Scott-Heron alone, others
co-authored by him and Jacks
Go with You, Brother is a slow-moving.
intense lament for the black unity that
doesn’t exist in America, sung dramati-
cally over ап eleciric piano. background
that will give you the chills, Rivers of My
Fathers represents Scott-Heron’s yearning
ral home: mpassioned
vocal kson's rippling acoustic
piano Gury them up a mental river that
cu t through Africa, and а few other
continents besides; for even when Scott-
Heron addresses himsell most specifically
black audience, he's never really
anity itself is the subject

Peace

for his a

бу things because they re new.
пк about them first. а
lass boats.

eady spent so muc

ib of mine...

living it up now.
ith my wood

PLAYBOY

and his artistry is capable of touching
anyone who listens. 4 Very Precious
Time is a nonpolitical song, a nostalgic
remembrance of first love, so tender it
hunts (that's typical of the moods these
people create). But later they get political
in, with а vengeance, in the form of
Ш ,Ogate Blues, a poem that takes apart

g Richard" in as scathing а manner
as you'll ever hear. It leads to an album-
dosing reprise of Peace Go with You,
Brother aud makes its message—“Now,
more than ever, all the family must be
together"—all the more poignant. The
revoluti there one?—may not be
televised, but we hope that Scott-Heron
kson & Co. will be; they ought to be
nd scen—by everyone.

MOVIES

If you miss movies in the grand old
tradition of The Maltese Falcon and
The Big Sleep, pay а visit to Chinatown.
Director Roman Polanski made it, and
made it right, in his classiest picce of
work since Rosemary's Baby. We may
have come а long way, baby, but it’s gr

g
to be back in the year 1937 while Polansl

nd screenwriter Robert Towne (who
copped an Oscar nomination for his

script of The Last Detail) sp

a a sharply

а ПМ melodrama about а cynical pri

d an unexpected
open ı up a virulent case of fast-
ng civic corruption. Towne's con-
voluted plot
demands close
attention
but pays off
with some
brash in-
sights into
the way a
city like
Los Angeles
was grafted to-
gether out
of greed.
lies,

bing and official coverup. Actor-director
Jolm Huston, usually one of movieland's
premium hams when he gets in front of a
camera, shrewdly underplays his role as an
arciconspirator, while Polanski himself
appears as a pint-sized hatchet man who
s to cut olf Nicholson's nose. Yes,
there's shoot^cm up violence, but it's semi
cooled by intelligent dialog. elegant
cinematography (credit John A. Alonzo)
id Faye Dunaway’s stunning detachment

as an enigmatic widow who dabbles in
promiscuity and knows much more than
she dares tell. Mainly, though, Chinatown
provides a showcase for Nicholson as J. ].
Gittes, a tough loner with his own inviok
ble code of ethics, like those hard-
nuckled heroes Bogart and Cagney used
to play. In this era of rip-offs, Watergate
cvasions and public apathy, there's wel-
lief in а slick, suspenseful detec-
tive thriller that peddles excitement along
h a certain moral indignation.

come

bly smaller enter-
tainment dividends in a whole batch of
current releases about different breeds
of lawbreakers. 99 ond 44/100% Dead casts.
Richard Harris as а professional super-
Killer hired to seile a gang war be-
tween two Mob chieftains named Uncle
Frank (Edmond O'Brien) and Big Ed-
die (Bradford Dillman). Director. Jolm
Frankenheimer's clumsy semispoof is set
n some golden age of gangdom when a
fink often ended up in the East River
with his feet anchored in cement. That's
treated as а joke, though euheimer
never manages to find the humor of it.
Dead is 9 and 44/100 percent dull,
memorable only as a moviegoers intro-
duction to Harris’ costar, former fashion
model Ann Turkel, who became Mis.
Harris after finishing the picture. We'll
have to weigh down our congratulations
with a heartfelt wish for better cin
k next time-

„ Stacy Keach
eric Forrest play a pair of wild-assed
West Virginia mountain boys who travel
to Washington, D.C, to help heist
5600.000 from an armored car, planning
to open a seafood restaurant. with their
share of the loot. Under director Jack
Starrett, Gravy Train generates а lot of
kinky local color but starts coming
glued once the caper is accomplished.
Both Keach and Forrest are aces а a pair
of born losers hankering for their slice of
the American dream, yet they are asked
to behav ike criminal
e stupid to inspi
sympathy, too dangerous to be
as downs. Margot Kidder adds a few

un-

film's contriv
ils and overemphasis on
Jog, this is the kind of bad

dei
backwoods d
movie 0
sheer gusto.

"Ehe habit of treating high crimes
high comedy begins to look trendy in тт
Horrowhouse, based on a diumomd«apcr
uuiller by Gerald A. Browne and direct-
cd by Aram (Cops and Robbers, End
of the Road) Avakian. Though Jeffrey
Bloom receives credit for a screenplay of
sorts, writeractor Charles Grodin (The
Heartbreak Kid himself) is credited with

the “adaptation,” whatever that means.
In any case, Grodin's dry throwaway style
Fuzzes up his role as a young American
gem dealer who agrees to steal just about
all the world’s diamonds—some 12 bil-
ion dollars worth—from a huge Lon
don firm called The Consolidated
Selling System. His partners in crime
include James Mason, Trevor Howard,
several trained
cockroaches and
a beautiful rich
girl with
nerves ol

steel, who
drives like a
avorite in the
Indianapolis
500. As the girl,
\ Candice Bergen
] | is beautiful and
b 7. audacious, hut

awfully damned regal
to fill shoes made to order for а scaner-
brained comedienne. Meanwhile, Grodin's
virtually nonstop sound-track commentary
attempis—sometimes amusingly—to slide
over the intricacies of Browne's novel
with a shrug of the shoulders. But the
film's flashes of wit are dissipated by
yawning credibility gaps. and the wit
isn't all that ffas/ry im the first рысе—
les you're regaled by Sir John Gielgud,
ау commander in chief of Consolidated,
reacting to the news that two of his direc-
tors are “on holiday" at а moment of
crisis by snapping. "I don't care if theyre
on pot... 1" Not what you call your A
material—except from the incomparable
Mason as a doomed, long-suffering em-
ployee who manages simultancously to
beat The System and save ГЕ Harrow-
house from galloping mediocrity.

It can't be casy to wring а lousy per-
formance from George С. Scott, one of
the best actors in any
embarrassingly loutish and unfunny in
Bonk Shot. Playing a master crook who
breaks out of prison and hatches а plan
to steal an entire bank simply by hauling
it away (well, it’s a branch office, tempo-
rarily doing business in а mobile«railer
unit), Scott sports heavily blackened суе-
brows, as if someone hoped he might
impersonate Groucho Mars. Broadway's
Gower Champion (of Hello, Dolly!
countless other stage hits) directed this
mess, using lots of com-pah-pah music on
the sound track to indicate which parts
were meant 10 be wildly hilarious. Exam-
ple: Scott striding into a drugstore to buy
two pounds of saltpeter to curb his lust,
so his female accomplice, Jo:
dy, won't distract him hom the

iedium, but he's

caper, or swimming off into a sunset fi-
nale, while a narrator info that
two months later the First Na Bank

of Samoa was robbed by a man still drip-
ping wet. Cassidy. heralded as а dazzli
new screen sexpot in the Marilyn Monroe

М ЕМОҒҒ VODKA 80 & 100 PROOF. DISTILLED FROM GRAIN. STE. PIERRE SMIRNOFF FLS. (DIVISION OF HEUBLEIN, INC.) HARTFORO, CONNECTICUT

= OY

We wondered recently how

come wed mixed Smimoff

with so many fancy juices

but studiously avoided plain

old gingerale. Maybe because © s y

our parents had mixed ae =

gingerale with everything, we — To make a Copperhead,

were rebelling. pour 14 oZ'of Smirnoff into
Anyway, we did it. We mixed atall glass withice. Add

Smirnoff and gingerale,added a — 4oz.of gingerale, a squeeze

squeeze of lime іо make itour of lime and stir,

own, and named it the

Copperhead—a lively drink =

a with a bite. leaves you breathless®

PLAYBOY

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WAIT FOR TOMORROW
TO ENJOY A
SUNRISE.

Until now, if you wanted a spectacular sunrise, you had to
be in the right place at the right time. A bar. A restaurant.

Or maybe a friend's house, if he had the tequila, orange juice
and grenadine needed to
make one.

Now you can enjoy a
sunrise anytime and any-
place. Because we've taken
the original sunrise and
put it in a can.

THE CLUB” Sunrise is
a Y pint of Jose Cuervo?
Tequila and natural flavors.
And you can find it wherever
liquor is sold.

So why not enjoy The
Club Sunrise soon. After
all, it's the only sunrise you
can take wherever you go.

CLUBS. ANYTIME, ANY PLACE, ANY REASON.

class, appears to have hitched her wagon
toa fizzling star this time. There may be a
market somewhere out there for such
gibberish as Bank Shot, but they should
never have let George do it.

How the hell can moviegoers accus-
tomed to an electrifying diet of sex and
shock be persuaded that they might actu

ally enjoy Ан Carney in а thoughtful
human comedy about an old man and his
rney plis Hany, a cat pl.

tale so charm-
n should need

n Harry and Tonto, 1
ing and gentle that a per
а dose of Gelusil as an antidote. Re-
member, however, that writer-producer-
director Paul Mazursky also made Blume
in Love, Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
and such comme: successes
not about to turn pure
but dreary litle Art film. The movie,
strengthened by Carney's crusty, low-key
performance, describes in original, de-
lightful and consistently surprising terms
how an old fellow past retirement age—
and tired of being mugged in hiis Upper
West Side New York nciphborhood—hits
the road to find a resting place on the
beach at Santa Monica. En route, he
tries to settle down with a married son
(Phil Bruns) im хири picks up a
way teenager (Melanie Mayron),
who ultimately teams up with Harry's
dson (Joshua Mostel) to wry life on
1 Colorado; visits his testy,
(Ellen Burstyn,
ly pungent cameo) at her
bookshop in Chicago: looks up a senile
oM lame ( itzgerald) who
once danced with Isadora Duncan: gets
rested in Nevada for pissing in public:
and finally finds his go-getter son (Larry
Hagman) going quietly to pieces in L.A,
Con men. cowboys, Indian chiefs (Chief
Dan George. as a matter of fact) and sun-
dry hustlers keep Harry and Tonto from
slipping into oblivion as a picce of senti
mental schlock. party because every
father's son and daughter among us has
d to leap the generation gap from
one direction or the other. Despite the
theme—and the cathe movie is rated
R by the М.Р.А.А. because of a scene in
which young Mostel casually calls his
Aunt Shirley (Burstyn) a cunt. Mazursky
tly refused to delete the line. and
born belief in Harry and Tonto
hored by Josh Greenfeld) keeps
along рипийу Irom start

other

and is out.

has ғ

his st
(cc
things purring
to finish.

Another feline is à central figure in
The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat, a sequel 10
Fritz the Cat, creator Ralph Bakshi's
Xrated animation film that clawed the
Swinging Sixties to shreds. Bakshi had uo
part in Nine Lives, and the diference
shows. Obviously, producer Steve Krantz
and director Robert Taylor favor a kind
of toilet humor—cat litter, maybei—yet
Fritz was never meant to be a sewer cat,
no matter how many four-letter words he

wailed. He is now presented as a
Seventies dud ys high on grass
id says things like, “М m I hung up.
strung out and uptight,” thus placing
imsell а full decade behind the times.
Having done the Sixties, this new Fritz
goes tipping forward and backward,
from America during the Depression er
он тїпапу to outer space, even
to а supersegregated U.S, of the futur
when all black cats are confined to the
state of New Jersey. Though wildly amh
tious, Krant/s Nine Lives is diffuse, imi
tative, uncertain and sorely lacking w!
Bakshi had to spare—the touch of mad
genius that separates a Swiltian soci
satirist from а mere cartoonist with
for soft-core sensationalism.

Audience movies. so-called, are th
with little snob appeal and scarcely
enough dramatic substance to whet a
critic’s appetite, though the ticket-buying
public eats them up. Dirty Mary Crozy Lorry
is a prime example in the gutsy get-rich-
quick tradition of Walking Tall and
Billy Jack. In Dirty Mary. Peter Fond;
asan George and Adam Roarke sup-
ply ample star power às à trio pursued
through Southern California by bad
luck. police cars. stunt drivers and a heli-
copt fter they've extorted $150,000
from a supermarket manager by holding

fan
required to act oi ag pit stops. Vic
Morrow, as a rugged defender of law and
order, oversees the epic chase, which
quite literally smashing. АП the shiny
ate-model. automobiles piled up by di-
лог John Hough, who cut his direc-
ial teeth on TV's The Avengers, may
turn out to be one of 1974's soundest
investments.

Golden Needles is the present-day ver-
sion of an old B movie, rainy-Saturday
swf co-starring Joe Don Baker (Walk-
ing Tall's burly superhero) and Eliza-
beth Ashley in a foolish adventure y
that whisks them f Hong Kong to
LA. and back again. The timely peg
sel is acupuncture, and those
titular needles, for which dozens of Kung
Fu show-olls would kill. are embedded

па legendary golden statue. Properly
placed, they assure incredible ph
feats—and longevity—for the lucky

who owns then

. of course,
h such a premise, anything goes:
roomful of deadly cobras; lots of nasty 1
Пе pricks, if you'll pardon the expres-
sion; plus a sl wesome mistress of
the man ances Fong,
who, praise Buddha, helps the good guys.

While the ge uni
film continues t0 locus on
close-ups of. pumping geni
some evidence ha las sof-
tened in an effort to reach a wider audi-
ence with movies of discer
Among those worth honorable me
is the long-lelayed Flesh Gordon, a comic-
strip spoof coproduced by porno pioneer
Bill Osco, whose Mona was a milestone.
Flesh Gordon has an intentionally sappy
script bolstered by loads of droll phallic
sight gags—everything from an
a

destructive sex ray emanating from the
Planet Porno (ruled by W
occasionally addressed. as

tive sex
room sized
there is

Assholi-

your
ness). The fun peters out (sorry, couldn't

resist that one, either) at about the hall-
way mark, yet Flesh Gordon is a nice try
at reviving the old Saturday serial in
shades of blue.

Knee-jerk liberals, who are dismissed
with a sneer in Death Wish, are bound to
| the movie dangerous. reaction

fascist and primitive. Director Michacl
blunt, expert

iller

Winner ше th :
probably all those things. But terrorized
residents of New York City and others
like them, afraid to walk the streets or
use their parks and subways, will be
tempted to raise three cheers as they
watch Charles Bronson playing а well-
todo Manhattan 1
onetime conscientious objector—who be-
comes a gun-toting vigilante after his
wife and married daughter (Hope Lange
and Kathleen Tolan) are viciously ас
tacked at home by three sadistic thugs
The wife dics of her wounds, the daugh-
ter ends up im а mental hospi ud
Bronson qui s № the street for
vengeance ag xd all predators.
until nearly а dozen muggers are shot
dead or taught a lesson that leaves them
. The police, hi

imed by а sharp drop in с
pprehend the dedicated vigilante m:
ly 10 suggest that he get out of town. *
sundown?” he asks with a slight smirk.
There lies the key to the solid appeal of
Death Wish, which is actually a modern-
dress Western endorsing the simple eye
foran-eye code of the good old days. “If
the police don’t defend us, maybe we
ought to do it ourselves,
and proves
movi

business. executiv

“Br onson muses,

is will surely
ize about rushing outside w form
а posse, if that’s what it takes to restore
law and onder. By touching an exposed

PLAYBOY

nerve in fearful contempo
Winner has handed granitefaced Bron-
son the role most likely to show movie-
goers at home what European audiences
him ages ago—a rougl-cut super
» par excellence.

in the streets
of New York is sent to reform school,
comes out, goes to prison for robbing
Western Union telegraph boy to buy
flowers for а pal's funeral and returns
home again to find his best friend ind
best girl hopelessly hooked on drugs.
With minor variations, that might pass as
the plot for a behind-bars gangster melo-
d of the Thirties. But The Education
of Sonny Carson pmething else, be-
cause it’s tough and real and deadly se-
rious. Sonny Carson explores rather than
exploits the dilemma of an urban black
hoy, played (in maturity) by Rony Clan-
newcomer to movies who

А scrappy

and reemerges
Harlem-bred Burt
Reynolds Rony does а fine
job of gettin, essence of Mwina
Imiri Abubadika’s autobiographical nov-
cl first published in 1972. Director
Michael Campus, shooting on location
in Brooklyn. recited. youngsters. from
neighborhood gangs for much of the
and though the prolessional actors
1 (Joyce Walker as Sonny's girl
i Benjamin and Mary Alice as his
arents) are excellent, the movie draws
its strength. from its genuine slum kid:
who belt the author's message across as if
they were performing street theater. But
look elsewhere for hand-dapping enter-
тети or optimistic reassurance about
improvements in ghetto life, ‘cause these
€ mean streets.

зо now

Really reaching for laughs, For Pete's
Soke stars Barbra Streisand as а young
New York housewife who gets herself
hock to Mafia loan sharks by borrowing

3000 1o help her dropout student-
husband, Pete (Mic п). follow
а hot tip about investing in por
futures, Before Pete's Sake has run its
Trenetic course, the heroine—whose hu
band calls her Henry

{ta оп accounta s
her contract sold to а peripatetic madam
(Molly Picon) with a stable of whorir
housewives. When part-time prostitution
^t jell, Hemy is sent out as a kind of
iver bombs and ends up
driving a truck for a gang of New York
caule rustlers—chasing cows on a stam-
pede through downtown Brooklyn and
all that. Certified. Streisand fanatics will
probably go home happy; everyone else
would be well advised to go home early,
since director Peter (Bullitt) Yates han-
dles broad farce as if he were direct
ing à demolition derby. Worst of the
wounded are Fstelle Parsons, in a heavy

ht man's role that consists mostly of
tion shots at those rare moments
when Barbra stops to catch her br

THEATER
Tom Eyen, who wrote The Dirliest
Show in Town and many other spicy

stage cartoons, such as The Three Sisters
(from Springfield, Ilinois): А Trilogy.
has the kind of crazy pinball humor that
makes one want to shout "Tilt!" Two
ol his

distinctly un-Chekhovian siste
Hanna and Sophie—longüme ой-ой-
Broadway staples—have, happily, sur-

faced off-Broadway under the tide Why
Hanna's Skirt Won't Stay Down. Why. in
deed? Because weird Hanna spends her
days in а Long Island funhouse standing
over a breeze hole, which sends her into

ht. This is a place
for her to lei down and her sl
up. and also to confide the
bizarre life, which includes a ferocious
rivalry with her bald sister Sophie, a Jer-
sev City Avon lady, and repeated run-ins
with a handsome narcissist named. Ari-
zona. In his Nmericindlag bikini, Arizona
swings on a trapeze, does push-ups and
plays a gallery of sex roles for the pushy
sisters. In keeping with the mad-camp di-
alos. the acting is Day-Glo. with most of
the comicstrip cutups provided by Helen
Нап, who has built a career out of
playing tacky Hanna, For the occa-
sion, the Top of the Village Gate
Bleecker amd Thompson streets) has
heen turned into a gaudy funhouse, com-
plete with barker.

BOOKS

Bobby Fischer became obsessed with
the game of chess when he was seven and,
since then, has not been known to show
lasting affection for another human
being or for anything else produced by
nature or made by man. Raised by a di-
vorced, ambitious mother (she once pick-

eted the White House to push her son's
career) and everlastingly surrounded by
sycophants, hustlers, weaklings, bullies
and users of every stipe, this authentic
American genius bee тесе
long before pube: t 13 won a
game so masterfully it is still remem-
bered as Ше Game of the Century. Bobby
Fischer vs. the Rest of the World (Stein &
Day) is the sad and nasty tale of what
happened in 1972 when Bobby defeated
Boris Spassky in Iceland то become chess
champion of the world d Darr
the author of this fascinating chro
(also of The Day Bobby Blew
rtAYBOY, July 1973. which is included in
this book), portrays the man as two
thirds Neanderthal, with the other third
evenly divided between lout and spasti
with an occasional flash of insane, inex-
plicable br

virt

As an eyewitness to the Icelandic
saga and зотей tial
principal—Darrach is a qualified re-

porter. and though he has a regret
iste for rustic similes and betrays a sour
distaste for Fischer. he draws an eerie and
convincing portrait of an individual af-
flicted with immeasurable talent and the
grace of a corpse-

Our hero c
vel

he
m lone heavily burdened with par:
noia. He worries about plots to destroy
him with drugs and poisoned food. The
s will get him: the Russians ave
alter him. The lights in the playing hall
itors and informers surround
But never does he voice a doubt
that he will beat Spassky. “Everyone
knows I'm best, so why bother to р
is Bobby's response when reminded of
his contractual obligation to meet the
Russian in Reykjavik.

Conned by his lawyer into
flight. Bobby escapes at К
port, precipitating th
ng of outraged newsmen and intensi-
[ying the dramatic outbreaks of grief and
hysteria that apparently affect everyone
dose to the Fischermania. At the end. six
weeks after the match, Bobby has turned
down deals reportedly worth 510.000.000
and has gone the
guarded compound of a radio evangelist
sect in California. Two thirds of hi
5156.950) prize money have already been
spent, Darrach says—some of it on taxes.
the rest going to a California church.

Bobby's last words in the book are
from a wistful conversation with the aw-
thor when he daydreams
new car and meeting a beautiful hitch-
hiker, "I mean, you could pick up a nice
irl, right? ... I mean, it would be ad-
enturous, right?" It seems that nobody
ever told Bobby to just get out there
and do it.

ries no passengers:

aking a

uedy Ай
g a running fight

underground in

about driving a

As every schoolboy knows, New York is
the Empire State and New York City
the Big Apple. What no schoolboy knows
is that, under six successive governors,

'xoq
jooud-usna»

Ајолғцои seusaJja1

PLAYBOY

What Yashica means
to the proud photographer

Want to be just as proud of the pictures you
take as you are of your family? You can if =- \ an.
you own a Yashica electronic SLR. These vasca
cameras have arnazing features. Like
a transistorized computer brain. So you can
take sharp, clear pictures and slides
anywhere. Without any fuss. And never miss
those "once in a lifetime shots" again. Our
TL Electro-X and its budget priced brother the
TL Electro (shown) are waiting for you at
your local Yashica dealer.

ts a whole new thing

S WASHICA ire о Ошум Волчье, Woo arido, Mew York 11377

Now that you've invested a small
fortune iri great sound equipment,
spend an extra few cents

for great sound.

Your expensive sound
system is just a few
cents away from being
a superior sounding
system. All you need is
Maxell Ultra-Dynamic
ta

astonishingly low distor-
tion even at highest
volume levels, plus a
dramatically increased
range from 30,000Hz
highs down tothe growls
of 20Hz

You can get Maxell
Ultra Dynamic tape on both
1200ft.and 1800ft. lengthson
7 inch reels, as well as on 10

eis "Maxell

The answer to all your tape needs

перил aren, Че Caterer Maree ачан.

осырак today's
high-level recordings. in-
cludingthe new 4-channel sys-
tems. №5 made with our new super
formulation which gives

the Empire Stare had за emperor а
that. under five successive mayors
Big Apple had а gargantuan worm. The
"empcror-wonn.

7 ло usc Hamlet's phrase.
was Robert Moses. In an outsize book
(1296 pages). The Power Broker: Robert Moses
and the Fall of New York (Knopl). Robert А
Care lowers the boom on the man who.
for four decades, was hailed Бу press and
public (who evidently hadit read Ibsen)
as the ster Builder. And build he did.
The miles of highways. h
expressways: id

sc». parkway,
cres of parks. play-
grounds. beaches; the dozens of “slum.
clearance” projects for which. he was
personally responsible are simply stagger-
ing. When an elusive speaker. watch
the fountains flow in the refurbished Bry
ant Park, compared him to the Biblical
‘smote

rock aud brought

ds cheered. ‘This was
Holy Moses!" was,
in New York. not an expletive but
encomium.

Face it-—Moses П was a genius, In the
er period, he Вай a computer
brain. He was also. briefly, an idealist
After Yale (09) and Oxford, this big.
rich, charming, athletic. handsome man
came home о New York determined to
“serve the people.” He wok a re
look at the Tammanyridde
rated city and he dreamed the im
di п. AL fast. he went nowhere
saw that politics wi

tic

amd he

drafting, getting laws р
that, seemingly innocuous, were Го
fishhooks iu the fine print. Thu
he went to work, He muscled through
the chain of Loi

ways that culm

along the way, so what?
ade, his d became the r
formed the map of both cit
il he were

one-man ісе

He drove forward, us
publicity. blackmail, charisma, con
competence—until he had по fewer than
12 official titles. His crowning coup was

Your Phone Butler is on duty all
the time—after hours, on days
when you're closed, or while
you're stuck in traffic on the way

To open up. Protects you from
missing calls or opportunities.

Look At All These Outstanding Features Av;

In Higher-Priced Machines Ranging From
$129.95 to $500.00:

Answers Your Phone Гог You After 151 Rin
4th ог Sth if you prefer)

or 2nd, 3rd,

Answer Tape Supplied With A Pre-Recorded Message
Inviting Caller To Leave His Name And Number

Takes Messages And Records Them For You

Lights Up When There Is A Message For You

Allows You To Monitor Incoming Calls—Take Those You

Want, Bypass Those You Don't Want Without The Caller
Knowing

Installs In Seconds—Just Plug In And Use
Records Up To 30 Messages Per Cassette

Built-In Condenser Microphone Гог Recording Your Own
Answer, Or To Leave Recorded Messages For Your
Associates, Secretary, Or Family

Simple Pushbutton Controls
Automatic Level Control For Recording
Volume Control
AC Operated (No Batteries)-
Can Be Used With Multiple-Line Business Phones
Uses Computer-Type Logic Circuitry

JL Approved

Get something accomplished
furing meetings and conferences
without being interrupted by calls,
yet receive all your messages.

ble ONLY

Now you can spend your vacations
and nights out-on-the-town with
complete ease, knowing that all
your calls and messages are being
handled efficiently, and are
waiting at home for you!

When you can't stop what you're
‘doing to get to the phone

relax! You can hear who is calling
without touching your phone.
(Great for avoiding salesmen, bill
collectors, ex-hoy or girl friends,

Don’t worry about missing calls
while you're out doing yard work,
in the shower, shopping,
sunbathing or socializing with
the neighbors. You'll never have
to make a run for the phone again!

mothers-in-law, landlords and

other undesirables.)

(The First Phone Answering System and Message
Center Designed and Priced for Use at

HOME AND THE OFFICE.)

Just Think Мо More Worries About Missing Important
Calls, Messages, Sales Inquiries or Phone Orders. If
you're not around or don't hear the phone ring, or if you
merely wish not to be disturbed or to take certain calls,
just put your PHONE BUTLER on the job and rest easy!
Want to leave a message for your children or other fam-
ily members who might be coming home to an empty
house? Need to leave special instructions for your secre-
lary or staff? The BSR PHONE BUTLER also serves as а
special message center, making sure that your important
messages are given and received just as if you were there
yourself!

The BSR PHONE BUTLER will answer your phone when
ever you can’t or don't want to, responding to an incom-
ing Call with a courteous, professionally recorded an-
nouncement. (You can also record your own answering
message if you wish.) It informs the caller that you're not
available, and invites the caller 10 leave his name and
number so you may return the call later. You can even
“sit їп” and monitor each call to see who the caller is
without him knowing it. If you choose to accept the call
you can cut in on the line at any time.

TRY IT FOR TWO WEEKS—
NO OBLIGATION!

Раз BSR PHONE BUTLERISI

ап Only. £80.95 (ples $1.95 shipping and handling)

cach. |f mot completely satisfied 1 can return the
nitla] within two weeks for a full refund sem out
inmeiately.

D Also send Push Betton Adaptor for Multip
Telephone Lines @ 118.35.

O Also send "lestantJak" Converter Н you
n't have an existing phone jack on your wall.
(No wiring requiret.) бум 13.00

О Check or Money Order Enclosed (Illinois Resi

|
|
|
|
|
|
|
1
|
l
І
|
І
р
|
|
|
|
!
р
|

send me

О Charge My Credit Cord Checked Below:
C] Diners Club
C] Carte Blanche

[D Aneritan Exp
О Master Charge
E] BankAnericard.

(Credit Card — —
Master Charge Code # (4 Digis —
Charge Card Expiration Date.

Name _ =
Address

City-
tou
Put Coupon in Envelope and Mail Те:

Lentenporary Marketing. Inc
607A Couniry Club Drive, Bessenville, It 60106
(312) 395-461

На

PLAYBOY

Rather than appear immodest, we'll let the
experts who write for the audio publications
tell you about an automatic lurntable we're
quite proud o!-our 8100X Transcription
Series model

High Fidelity magazine says:

The new cam system in the 8100X is
credited with providing smoolher and
quieler operaticn than in past models. Aver
age flutter was very low at 0.05%: total
audible rumble by the CBS-ARLL method
was —5206 The arm has negligible friction
laterally and vertically, and requires a 0.3
gram stylus force lor automatic trip. Taking
it all together-performance. features, styling
=the BSR 8100X moves into ranking place
among the bes! automatics we know of

We're too British to boast.

So here's what the experts
say about us.

Stereo Review magazine says:

The BSR 8100X has an unusually com
plete array of operating controls and adjust
ments. yet 15 simple to use. The wow and
flutter were very low—respectively 0.03 and
0.045% at 33/5 rpm and 005 and 004%
al 45 rpm. The BSR 8100X. undeniably а
well-constructed and attractively styled rec
ord player, was also a very easy one 10
operate. The controls had a smooth, posi-
live leel and action

This is а modest way lo tell you how
good our 8100X Transcription Series turn-
table really ıs. We would be pleased to send

you detailed specitications. Just

drop usa note

BSR(USA)Ltc. Blauvelt NY 10913.
McDONALD

Biowet HY 1093

WEVE GOT YOUR NUMBER.

. . YOUR TOLL-FREE NUMBER FOR
ROOM RESERVATIONS ONLY AT ALL
PLAYBOY CLUB-HOTELS AND
HOTELS. OR YOU MAY CONTACT
YOUR LOCAL TRAVEL AGENT. (IN
ILLINOIS, THE PLAYBOY RESERVA-
TIONS NUMBER IS (312) PL 1-B100.)

PLAYBOY CLUB-HOTEL
‘Ocho Rios, Jamaica
PLAYBOY CLUB-HOTEL
at Great Gorge, McAfee, New Jersey
PLAYBOY TOWERS
Chicago, Illinois
PLAYBOY CLUB-HOTEL

Lake Geneva, Wisconsin

to create the “authority” concept, where
by. controlling the toll moneys from
bridges and throughways. he had a huge
bank roll and total independence. He
used his imperial satus to the hilt. Even
F.D.R., then President (their hatred was
), had to eat the words h
у wrote to Harold Ickes dur
fight over PWA ands: “We'll be able to
sing "Where was Moses when the lights
went our " И was only when he ran

mutu; gloar

afoul of Nelson Rockefeller that he
began to lose. The World's Fair of

1961-1965 was his off-key swan song. Fi
nally, old and deaf (he would not tole
ме а hearing aid) lost and grave
wounded in the ego (he had по heart),
he was an aged. ailing lion in search of
lyocles. He did not find one

» traces this epic in unnecessarily
minute but fre
stressing how Moses’ love affair with the
моторе (though he never learned to
drive) at the expense of mass transit—his
demolition of countless slum dwellings
without providing housing for the dis-
powessed—made New York the
choked, ghetto-ridden mugger haven it
has become. Thus. the worm in the Big
Apple. Sure, there are multiple monu
ments to his prowess, from Riverside
k ro the Niagara complex, but the
cost is only now be to be

“

uly fascinating detail.

smog

So if you want to ren

and

tical power lust
mparable only to the Nixon cabal.
this is the book for you. /f you can lift it!

ies

Harold Robbins’ latest job, The Pirate
(Simon & Schuster), opens in а sand-
storm in the Arabian desert. The wile of
а wealthy Moslem doctor is pregnant and
Her husband wants a son to con-
tinue the male line, but h
sporting about it, beca

ready

s awfully
loves his
matter what she has. Enter a
wandering Jew on a donkey. Nice work.
Harold. The Je ther David Ben-Gu-
rion or Moshe Dayan. He's definitely not
Howard Hughes. His wife is about to
give birth, too, but his preference as to
gender isn’t revealed, Guess what hap-
pens Guess who gives birth to a dead
girl and guess whose wife dics alter deliv-
cring a healthy son? Right

Cut to the interior of a private 707
Yhe pla bout to land at
Nice ior reeks of hashish and
amyl nitrite, Two naked girls lick cach
to a frenzy, watched by the no

se he

wife no

years later
J is ине

nks he's
handful of poppers—Harold’s people al
1 more of everything than the
of the girls and
ian thrust up

ways пе

rest of us—he grabs or

performs а powerful Har

the back passage
Cut to the Arab-Jewish h
can wile. She's squatting on a

юу Ameri
let after

Fhotograpned in Kejimkujik National Park, Nova Scotia.

CANADIAN
- MIST.
Canadien 220

А BLEND.

WE E un

e.
Canada at its best.
Try the light, smooth whisky thats becoming Americas favorite Canadian.

Imported Canadian Mist-

PLAYBOY

paying off а gigolo. She's got rose-tipped
breasts and а silkysoft pubic mound.
Other princiy el
shining halfmoon buttocks, dark aure-
oles around the nipples. ten-inch penises
and aching clitorises, all of which throb,
pulsare, grow hard and thrust savagely
ccording to function.

the Arab-Jewish hero, consum-
mates big business deals, cats Iranian c
ar and gets licked and sucked whenever
gt off his feet. Oc-
ays. “The ways of
but this meditative
plunge into theology is usually brought
to an abrupt end when something fum
and fleshy is taken in the mouth.

Baydr receives a check for $24,000,000
His Rolls and а San Marco speedboat
await his arrival, ‘There is a di
necklace from Van Cleef, a spliner
group of Palestinian guerrillas, a promot
er who wants to make а movie about
Mohammed aud a horny masturbator
who unloads his burden from a balcony at
а posh party. "Мау Allah shower his bless
ings,” murmurs someone in a flashback
le character i
black stud from
nch and

irfree mounds,

mond

Enter the most ple
the plot: a bisexual
Georgia who speaks fluent
brings Baydr's wife to a thr
induced by coc
а philosophic tum of mind.
fuck." he said. “I don’t give a damn as
long as there's a hole to stick it in."

nother bidet scene, and then on to
the California bankers, some Japanese
industrialists, John. Kennedy in a flash-
back, a hijacking. Baydr's guenillenym
phomaniac daughter says

“You have a
beautiful cock, do you know that? Thick

and lovely. It’s very American.

Re-enter the legendary Ts
Baydr’s real father, who doesn't get
once. Not even licked or sucked.
general stops a bullet, On the way out, he
s. "There is but one God. . . ” Does
this mean what it appears to mean? Har-
old juggling with the symbols again? We
are all brothers under the foreskin, Jew
and Arab. Gosh, Harold.

Truman Capote was once asked by
Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show
how he rated Harold Robbins as a
writer, Truman smirked snullled.
hat's not ng. Johnny." he
pausing for a Jack Benny beat, “th:
typing.” How could you, Truman? Let's
hear it for Harold, everyone: Опе, two,
three, stroke: one, two, three, stroke
Now look what youve donc; you've
ruined page 74.

ие

and

aid,

wri

Since the razor-sharp Lucky Jim (1954),
Kingsley Amis’ novels have ranged im-
pressively far and wide, though the finc
mean edge of their wit often seems dissi-
pated into bitchy misanthropy. Ending Up
(Harcourt Bra novich), a partial ге
covery of [orm, unemotionally studies the
palsied Gätterdämmerung of five unstable

old people, locked a

surly, combative dance of death.
ble, the irritable master of thei
wheezy revels, is suspiciously impassive.
a semiinvalid whose only relict i
malicious schemes, acis and
His valet Shortell is an unge
boozer—also, Mis gentle
homosexual lover. Bernard's sister Adela
is a tiresome paragon of spinst
able impulses. Her friend Ma s a
sensual septuagenarian who carries on
Byzantine conversations and correspond-
ences in her own Чону lingua france
(baby talk); she's losing her memory.
too. In an upstairs bedroom, stroke vic
tim George lies
mobility: A former historian,
exhibits symptoms of “nominal
unable to remember the names
mon objects. All are mummified
vate attitudes and obsessions: spasmodic

resions smolder g them. Л
lavish Christmas dint
golds sententious children
ilies, presages open warfare. George's dog
for predictable doggy
svigold’s psychotic cat

nard

1 scarcely noticed im

gaucheries)

10 mi

nd рае
nding Up Mails about some and starts
never finishes, bur its harrow
on of elderly existential paralysis

A team of superspies teethed on African
demirevolutions gets a domestic assign
ment: Assassinate a minor Senate candi
date, a general opposed to Vienam,
during the 1968 Presidential campaig
At the Lt minute, the assignment is
called off and the team disbanded. Three
years Liter, its members begin to die sud-
den deaths. Why was the assignment

aborted? Who is wasing the retired
spies? Those the questions David
Chacko's taut, machismo novel Gege (St.

tin’s) raises, and the

answers come

ly after the questions are entwined
in bizarre, baroque complications, after
bodics litter the landscape, after shoot-
outs and hell-for-leather chases,
or three recent Presidents are implicated
and the CIA has all but come apart at
ihe scams. G

nar

iater
y be far too prescient to fit
our new unde ol undercover
bumbling à la Watergate (of wh
Doppelgänger}. but hi
n skill at insight adds chill-
gly to the novels lorce. Chacko, two
books in—his first, Price, was
and incest in rural. Ohio—demonst
himself to be а novelist of talent and
power: Gage sticks in the reading like
plastique, just as desperat
If Chacko had been a plumber, w
be loyal subjeas of King Richard the
First by now.

pout love

If you've been exposed to Raoul Walsh,
whether at film festivals, lectures or
watching Rid
TV series on American film maker:
you know that the yarn-spinning one-eyed
New York cowboy who made What Price
Glory?, High Sierra and White Heat and
so many other fine movies is among the
t o a dying breed: a director who

ke himself with solemn serious-
ness. That's abo how he comes across
in his autobiogr

bin
delight to read, but it is sure to frustrate
en dismay cinéastes digging into

ме for some personal statement of
artistic principles from this noted auteu
He had none. He thought of himself as

c ng art to the cr nd
that may be why so many of his movies
stand up so well. Walsh was present at
the creation—an acting protégé of D. W.
Griffith's who got his first break as a direc
tor from the old master (filming Pancho
Villa's march on Mexico City) and then
played Johu Wilkes Booth in The Birth
of a Nation. Walsh was well
as a director before movies started 1
talk. and when they did, he was better
ost to handle them, with
of his
own gilt of gab. Always a man ready with
«агас. he peppers them through his
portraits of Hearst, Chi tand
Wayne. The best of them all

ablished

When asked by a lady И.
Prince Hamlet had had зех
with Lady Ophelia, Barrymore thought
а moment and replied. “Only in the
Chicago company, madam.

The Man with the Candy (Simon & Schus-
ter) is one of those books in which it really
doesn’t matter whether it’s well written
ог not because the su s so repulsive
as to be enthralli pried “The
Story of the Houston Mass Murders,”
Jack Olsen’s book is perhaps а shade too

_ Thebest high fidelity
turntable $99,95 can buy.

The PL-10.

If you're considering a new turntable,
first consider what you need. Do you
needa record changer? Do you really
want a record changer?

Probably not. Record changers
were designed a generation ago — for
another generation, For hours of
uninterrupted background music.

Your needs are different. When
you listen to music, you listen to
music. Completely. ina way that
totally involves you, your music and
your equipment.

The Pioneer PL-10 gives you this
total involvement. It offers the
exceptional level of precision found
in every Pioneer turntable. And its

Gentle viscous damped cueing controll

features are unmatched in its
price range.

Features like a 4-pole
Synchronous motor .. . static
balanced S-shape tonearm... ultra
light tracking force . .. viscous
damped cueing... 12 inch
dynamically balanced die cast platter

.. anti-skating-control independent
of the tonearm . . . 33⁄3 and 45 rpm
record speeds . . . foil line natural
grain finish Базе... hinged dust cover
and much more.

The PL-10 is not a record
changer. It is simply the best single

play turntable under $100. No other
turntable at its price offers the same
quality, sophistication and ease of
operation.

If your primary need is
performance, isn't it time you really
got involved with your music?

U. S. Pioneer Electronics Corp.,
75 Oxford Drive, Moonachie, Now
Jersey 07074
West: 13300 S. Estrella, Los Angeles
90248 / Midwest: 1500 Greenteaf, Elk
Grove Village, II. 60007 / Canada:
5. Н. Parker Со.

Q PIONEER’

when you want something better

PLAYBOY

Is ita cigarette? Definitely not.

Could alittle cigar have such big flavor,
give you such big pleasure? Definitely yes.

A&C Little Cigars — slim, filter-tipped —
made with a very special blend that includes
fine imported cigar tobaccos...cured for
mildness and flavor.

Regular or Menthol —in the distinctive
crush-proof box.

A&C LITTLE CIGARS,

The Great Impostor.

polite, too kind, too generous to the par
ents of the young victims and comes
down a little too hard on the Houston
police force and the mother of Dean
Corll, the Candy Man. In essence. the
book isn’t even re
murders
pot smoking

ly about the mass

pout haircuts and
drinking and bore-
dom and pov id the fact th
body really а dmm about the
poor or the disturbed or crazed until
something they do makes headlines. As
Olsen writes: “The discoveries of. Mon
day morning brought the total number of
bodics to 25, the same number attributed
to the farm labor foreman Juan Corona
in ifornia, “That ties Coron: à news-
edly. Later in the day
diggers uncovered a pair of bodies

Now Houston had the modern American
murder record all to itsell.” The Man
with the Candy is a terribly sad and ugly
book, and not altogether because of what
arthed in Houston when W: с
ley shot the man for whom he had
been procuring te

paperman said exe

» boys

In 1976, the country will be 200 years
old. Colorado, the luckless hero of James
Michener’s sprawling novel Centennial
(Random House), will celebrate its cen-
tury of statehood. Readers who—having
started now-
book will feel a lot older than either

nay then be finishing the

For this is a grindingly exhausting book

clumsy and monotonous. Centennial aims
to tell the whole history of the Colo-
rado Territory. It documents the Pleisto
cene roisterings of rutting diplodocuses
the bad-tempered antics of prairie bison
in heat: after. hundreds of pages of en
peers for-

cyclopedic adventuring, it st
ward to a sour present time, in which
cattle barons turned ecologists now view
with weary resignation the collapse of
Nixonism and the garish proliferation of
neon-lit hot-dog stands. The best thing
that сап be said for this book is that
andfatherly fear—that “the
lin’ spot on earth” can't be
saved from plasticizing and. pollution—
seems genuine. One believes his fright-
ened regret that our future looms so
bleak, that we are mot better, more re-
sourceful people. That is the best thing
that can be said. Here аге some of thc
other things. This book scems а lament
led, avaricious rape

Michener's

best rema

over the wrongh
of the land and its people: bur the stock
holders “manipulations of nature” are
diagramed with such loving attentive-
ness that Michener is, in effect, writing
advertising copy for the evils he pretends
to deplore. His narrative strategy was.
pretty obviously, 10 throw everythi
could think of into the book ad hope
to God some of it would work.

‚һе

Examples: A displiced Mennonite
farmer stumbles onto the mutual mas
sacres that follow betrayals of U. S-Indi-
an treaties by "Ehe Great White Father

Your watch has done you in again.

And everybody led up with your excuses

To insure your dignity, not to mention your job. you need an
Accutron? watch.

It doesn't have a mainspring that con get unsprung. Or a bal-
ance wheel that can get unbalarc

Ithas a tuning fork movement ее to tum in оп honest
days work to within a minute o month*

Just match that record, and your worries are over.

BULOVA ACCUTRON®

For men and women.

Left #25527, 14K sald gold $425 Fight, #25818. 14K solid gold cose ond bracelet $1000.
уси ind many other styles 9 fine jewelry ond depariment stores. From $95. “Timekeeping will
be adiusted c ths tolerance # necessary if retuned iq Ассыгоп deeler rom wham purchosed
within one year from date of purchase © Bulova Watch Co., Inc.

PLAYBOY

SEAN CONNERY: An original.

Name = ВЕ ———
(please print)

Address =

оО State. Zip.

Playboy's four-piece Bar Tool
Set including bottle opener,
corkscrew, can opener and а
bar knife with serrated edge.
Rabbit-patterned and
handsomely boxed

АВ 0610, $10.

Playboy Products,
Playboy Building, 919 М. Michigan Ave., Chicago, III. 60611

Please send me __Bar Tool Sel(s) at $10* each plus $1 each for shipping and
handling. Total -
О Payment enclosed. (Make checks payable to Playboy Products.)
C] Charge to my Playboy Club
credit Key no. ГОТ” ] [

No C.O.D. orders, please. Cash keyholders, please enclose check.
"Illinois residents—please add 5% tax

РРАВ

їй Washington." Schemes to drive cattle
overland from Texas, force peaceful
coexistence between cattlemen and sheep:
herders, ky plainlands
ions of crippling

Pa
matic rattlesnake bites (whenever a char-
acter must be replaced. quickly)—these
turbulences repeatedly elicit е shy.
aces of stoical men, the tear-
d. hrmset chins of plucky women.
In this whole long book, there is one good
story: of the mounta ide forced into
cannibalism when his hunting party is
blizzard (“Said the judge, “Alferd
Packer, you voracious, man-eating son of
a bitch. They was only seven Democrats
in Hinsdale County, and you ate five of
them

Centennial has the ‘Tolstoyan sweep
aud synthe power of an Edna
Ferber, the plainspoken cl of a
fundamentalist chain letter, the imag.
ive freshness and punch of a deodor
ani commercial. И is as American as
apple pie and ice cream—abour 9000
square miles of the stult, mixed up. И
300 James Micheners were chained to
their typewriters through infi
long. О Lord. how long would it be be
with something

lost in

how

fore they could come u

better than Centennial?

TELEVISION

It's that time again, when television
screens all over the nation are lighting
up with what the networks wonld like us
to believe is The Greatest. New Season
Ever, Since last. year, anyway. Pulitzer
Prize-winning ТГ columnist Ron Powers
of the Chicago Sun-Times herewith lets
us know what we're in for:

This new season, the television. net-
works will have something for everyone—
if everyone Estée Lauder. It w
the Year of the Cosmetic, both
tively and literally, in prime time. Three
hours a day to make Roddy McDowall
look like à chimpanzee for СВУ’ Planet
of the Apes. Three hours a day to make
Hal Holbrook look like Abraham Lin
coln Гог NBC's series of хіх specials
based on the Сай Sandburg books, God
knows how many hours to make
Angie Dickinson look 1 ie Dick-
inson for her new NBC series, Police
Woman, Then there is ABC's new thrill-
er. The Night Stalker. starving Darren
McGavin—with à monster every
week. My, how the puny will fly. Such
TV Кечир we haven't seen since Presi-
dent Nixon had his last press conference.
Indeed. having Filed conspicuously Tast
season (among others) in the area of be-
vable scripts, the networks seem to be
their сие this fall from the Adn
vell: Never mind the content—
nd me a t Cosmetology is all.
aple, ABC will try to make up.

new

HOW ТО UPGRADE
YOUR SPEAKERS
FOR AN EXTRA BUCK.

The sound that comes out
of those beauties is the
sound that's on the cassette.
No better, no worse. And if
youre using discount
cassettes, chances are
youre hearing discount
sound, delivered with
breathtaking clarity.

A classic case of penny-
wise and sound foolish.

Drop a TDK ED cassette in
there next time and hear
the difference. An absolutely
stunning difference. Vibrant
sound, rich in color and
detail, with the depth and
harmonics that were there
when the music happened.

One TDK ED cassette. One
time. One listen. That may
be the first time you'll really
hear your speakers. And
all for as little as an extra
buck. An extra buck more
than the cassette you're
probably using now.

“TDK

Wait till you hear
what you've been missing.

PLAYBOY

ys been making satin sheets for 71 aS

Except us! The secret? We know what we're doing.

We use only the softest acetate satin, 225 x 78

thread count. (Some people don't!) Our sheets are

completely MACHINE WASHABLE. And we offer 12
| colors fer regular er round beds! NEW Hot Pi

Gold, Red, Black, Bronze, Blue,
nt or Orchid, Isn't it time you came

‘SHEET SETS (2 straight sheets, 2 cases)
Double Set — $23.08 Queen Set — $27.95
‘Twin Set 22.98 King Set 32.50
Round 84” Set 48.50 Round 35%. i 54.95

Free 40-Page Color Catalog of all Our
Satin Fashions With Every Order!

Now that you’ve grown
a moustache...
make it the greatest!

Tones the skin.
Brisk masculine scent.

FFER: Pinaud
Moustache Wax, and intro-
Guctory size of Lilac Vegetal After Shave,
plus FREE styling comb/brush.

‘Only $2.00 postpaid.

i PINAUD ә: Brosaway, Now Verk. N.Y. 10010

l Peso saad. sets of Pinaud Specicl

1 Offer at $2.00 per sel. No. C.O.D.'s
Check shade(s) Chestnut O Brown D

Natural (clear) D Blonde D Black D

1
1
| Name.
р
i
р

281074 È

Sonny Bono to cover the scar left by the
amputation of Chér. Wistful Sonny, who
indicated to TV writers during their an-
nual T V-season-preview hegira to Holly-
wood that he misses his old CBS Sonny
and Chér Comedy Hour perhaps morc
pes
1 to work with her des
their upcoming divorce—moves to АВС
to host The Sonny Comedy Revue. (This
prospect led one er
"A Sonny without Cher is lil

isses Chér herself-

done on
Mary Tyler
Moore's old pal at CBS. Rhoda

yed by V. Harper. no
stranger to a dab ol eye shad-
ow he

start a Tite sitcom
of her own and—
arly in the
series—marry
guy who
has a young
child. The
spooky thing
about the
people at

acters almost as real il pespte
me for Rhoda to get m;
ind thar we could find the right guy

for her." writer Lorenzo Music told the
critics. “Rhoda,” he added with a mystic
glaze in his eye. “has gotten worthier and

worthier.” That, Mr. Music, is still an

open question, Man proposes and Nielsen
isposes.

So much for grease paint
id of goo. in the form of

Another
“‘heartwarm-
will be much in
1. The Waltons begat
nd this fall the latest of

evidence this f
Apple's Way

the begouen include The New Land
-off of the Swedish films The Emi-

grants and The New Land) on АЛМ

Little House on the Prairie (based on
all those Laura Ingalls Wilder books)
оп NB Bonnie Ведейл and Seow
Thomas star in The № © Michael
Landon, late of Bonanza fame, is the
principal dweller Lue House. Vhe

and
struggle

press release
on about “sharing faith
to carve out a lile."
Again, as last year, just about the only
character in Hollywood's television col-
ony who eric aids of
kind is a tough and talented ex-Los An-
geles сор named Joseph Wambaugh.
Last season, NBC's Police Story—which
Wambaugh created —was the most solid
of NBCs scattered new-show successes. It
was successful in part because Wambaugh

ins Сом

any

stood chin to chin with network execu
tives and insisted that the anthology
series show policework as it really
dangerous, unglamorous and olten w-
—or he, Wambaugh, would pack
nal walk out

Wambaugh is back this year. In fact, he
resigned his job with the LA
concentrate full time on keeping Police
Story honest. But he Iready warned
David Gerber, president of Columbia Pic
tures Television (which produces
Police Story and other shows for

force to

that Columbia and NBC seem
Lent on using the prestige
of Police Story to launch
Angie Dickinson’s new
series, Police Woman. Miss
Dic son introduced
her character in an
episode of Police
Story last winter:
she will return with
a weekly show this
fall that will be
good deal more
escapist and frivo
lous than suits

ИР Wambaugh’s pal-
ate, Miss Dickinson

one of three new
policewomen on net-
work TV this fall. The
others are Teresa Graves, who plays the
tile role in ABC's Get Christie Love!
and the el Jessica Walter, who will
do at least two segments of NBC Sunda
s а woman police chiel

Mystery Movie
in San Е

This is being touted as the most drasti-
cally changed new season in TV history
with more than iwo dozen new shows
scheduled in prime time. Somehow.
though. the shows domt scem all that
new. Perhaps the creative mind has got
stalled How
point of
when the
{pes solemnly re-
“a series about

ncisco.

the Hollywood Freeway
else can. one explain the hi
the TV-writers’ junket
ducer of Planct of the
ferred 10 his show as

people.” described McDowall as “а
swinging bachelor" amd. so help me.
talked about ting dom scratch"

rather than continuing the plot line laid
out by the five preceding Apes movies?
He actually looked faintly puzzled when
the correspondents cracked up.

MUSIC

Just before going onstage to conduct
Orchestra, Sie
Georg Soli indulges in one of the least-
known and most esoteric rituals in
music: He tucks two bonbons. into the
pocket of his tail coat. Solti’s 62. and
very much aware of the extraordinary

the Chicago Symphony

Olympia Brewing Company, Olympia, Washington “OLY

isanice cold Oly.The tast
and refreshing. And it's the best

reason in the world for being thirsty.

Because when you're really hot
and dry,ice cold Oly makes it worth
getting thirsty in the first place.
Olympia. You oweitto yourself. 2
All Olympia cans and bottles are recyclable

"New blend .
New pack
Great newtaste

LIGCETIR, MYERS ICORPORATED.DURHAM.;N.C.

M SS Жы

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

Introducing MCS.
Male Comfort Spray

for unc

For years, men have tried
all sorts of ways to get
comfortable in the
crotch area. Messy
talcums. Baby
powders. Medica-
ted products. But noz
thing seemed to really
work until MCS
came along. The na
means Male Comfoi
Spray, and that gives
you the whole idea.
MCS keeps you more
comfortable around that sensi-
tive area than you probably ever
thought possible.
MCS is a pleasantly cool,
long-lasting pure white aerosol

er your shorts.

owder, with a special ingre-
dient that helps stop chafing,
ckiness and irritation.

But that's not all it does.
MCS also helps to prevent per-
spiration discomfort, the kind
only a man can get.

Nothing is easier to use.

And because it's so convenient,
there's virtually no limit to the
times you might want to use it.
For instance, it’s great before
you get dressed in the morning.
A quick spray of MCS gets the
day off to a good start.

Orany time you shower or
dress, a couple of cool sprays
of MCS leave you feeling com-
pletely refreshed and at ease
with yourself.

MCS comes ina handy six
ounce size perfect for bath, gym
or travel. MCS Male Comfort
Spray. It's made just for a man,
to help solve a problem only a
man can have. Get it today , and
get comfortable.

PLAYBOY

The The

Discovered Undiscovered

PX A Even though we've been
Е "E | around since 1870,

‚ very few people know
we do some things
\ the other Tennessee

Sour Mash distiller doesn’t.

Like letting the mash

| sit а day longer and

| cooling while we charcoal
filter. If you want

| to know why, you can

| either buy a bottle

\ of George Dickel or
call the man who
makes it, Ralph Dupps.
At 615-851-3124,
Tullahoma, Tennessee.

There's another
Tennessee
Sour Mash Whisky,
but there's only one
George Dickel.

LED AT THE DISTILLERY

demands

а concert. places upon the sym-
phony conductor. И he feels drained
during а performance, he сап, benween
numbers, casually put his hand behind
iis back and retrieve an energ
bonbon to munch on. He has
known to deviate from this routinc only
when he [eels an eve рей
need to leed the Before con
ducting Gétterddmmerung at
Garden in London one night a few years
zo, he had secreted two cough drops

hee

more c

audience.

Cov

the pocket, Onstage, Solti turned to
loudly coughing concertgoer in the fro

row. snapped, “Here, take these!" and

the lozei

cs.

phony has become
па

у st celebrated orchestra
Soli may well be the world’s pre
nent conductor. Certainly he’s the only
опе in the Seventies who's made that
pinnacle of pop journalistic acclaim. the
cover of Time. Only Herbert von. Kara-

val. ndisputably,
the world’s best organized mae
ing al life

with ан, he mixes

rehearsals and performances with busi-
mess meetings, transoccanic travel, plav-
time with his iwo

allypri bis second marriage (о

you CLV reporter Valerie Pitts)
pl -three years in
npulsive tone in
usc Solti feels that he has
ich up. А native of Hungary, he was
a due starter—his career delayed by
ld War Two—and didn't get his
first conduetin in Munich under
1 American
he was almost
study: he can't absorb ihe sc
next concert while
it as some present-day conductors. are
siid to do, Even during vacations at his
mer retreat near Castiglione della
Pesctia, on Italy's T yrrhes

its bec

post,
of oc
4. Nor is he

a scushore,

he rises at seven AM. to study his scores.
Nevertheless, under pressure, Бе can
t of

эпите
Decca Records,
he sometimes learned as many as 100
pages of Waguer a d.

Solti is [requently in demand as а guest
conductor for operatic as well as for sym-
id such ments de

even gre

er attention

mand, of course,

to detail. Notable were the visual and
ical dilhculies encountered while
g rhe Schónberg opera Moses

t sc:

und Aron for the Paris Opera 1;
Solti is one of the few conductors

son
who attempt. this challenging score. The
musical problems were numerous, but
the visual ones were spectacuku: His
Moses und Aron had an orgy scene verg

Lady Valerie observes
conduct
had

g on the explici

р
ed in London in the mid

at an earlier Sohii production
isties,

№ makes me look
like I know what

I'm doing:

James Lowe, N.J.

Actual Size: 5-12"x 3x 114"

Send Coupon to: Contemporary Marketing, Inc.
607A Country Club Dr. * Bensenville, IL 60106 • Phone: (312) 595-0461

Lot's face itl Asido from being
that’s happened to numbers
the abacus, these amari a!
computers are really fan to ust! All these.

e pushbuttons instantly producing secu
answers for you in bright flashing red, digito
numbars. Order Balow, NOW.

Constant Memory Factor

Shows True Credit Balance

* Clear Entry Function Erases Last Entry
In Case O! Mistake

= Fully Doprosced Keyboard For Егеу
Finger Use

= Easy To Read Digital Readout

* 1 Year FREE REPLACEMENT Warranty
Against Manulacturer's Defects

= Comes Completo With Batteries

Please ship пе COMMODORE
8840 Electronic Calculator(s) at only $24.95
(plus $3.00 shipping ond handling) each. If
pat satisfied | can return it within two weeks
for an tmmediote Refund.

Also send AC Adapter @ $4.95 each.
instead send the Rechargeable model
SMTA (with FULL Memon) @ $38.95.
{Add +3.00 for shipping)

Instead send the Rechargeable model
ISR iwith. НЕН: and square год) @
339.95 (aid $3 shipping]

Check or Money Urder Enclosed. (linos
residents add 5% sales tax)

Charge to My Credit Cerd Below:
American Express Г) Master Charge
Bankémericard [C Diners Club

Master Charge Code #
бр. Dat

y. Ste Ар
Signature — — И —

-:0491

PLAYBOY

Theres more th
one Way
to enjoy a smoke.

MILDER: KAYWOODIE

Custom-cafted from the world's finest hand-selected

briar. Aged and cured as only Kaywoodie knows how.
Hand shaped, hand- worked to look as good as they
smoke. Drinkless fitment condenses moisture,
traps tars. $7.95 to $100

SWEETER:
YELLO-BOLE

No breaking-in. Real honey-caked bowls
give you mild, flavorful smoke from the first
pipelul. If you're not completely satisfied. retum
pipe with sales slip and we vill refund
your purchase price. $2.95 to $7.95.

DRIER: MEDICO

Change the filter and your pipe is clean. The
66 baffles in replaceable, absorbent Medico
filters trap juices, tars. nicotine... make smoking
cleaner. cooler. Nylon bits are guaranteed bite-prool.

Pipes: $2.95 to $30.00. Medico Filters: regular
6 menthol, charcoal, 10 for 15¢.

KAY WOODIE/ YELLO-BOLE/MEDICO
The Worlds Favorite Pipes

more nudity than the
ig some English
crs to ruminate

rench one—shock-
en and inspiring oth-
ag the opera

іп repertory—but | audiences
ded with fi and critical en-
all performances were sold out.
ids the idiosyn-
crasies that have ch. zed other great
conductors: Toseanini’s tantrums. Bee
cham’s wit. Koussevivky’s dilettantism—
Serge’s father-indaw bought him an or-
chestra with which to learn to conduct
or even the flowing capes of Ber
and the jevset image of Von Кага
professionally. he is one of the
active of conductors. His baton
body movements are reminiscent of a
boxer's—large. angular and highly cho.
(Vot is dot Hung 3

he must
podium. Years of hol
and moving them in tense, disciplined
patterns—for as much as [our and a half
hours a day—have left him with muscu-
lar and vertebral problems. “I cannot
move my head more than a few inches to
the right or left without turning my
whole body," he says. On the podium.
therefore, he must rotate his torso 10 the
right—sometimes with a leap—if he
wants to direct his attention t0 the cello
or the bass. then whirl to the left if he’s
addressing the harp.

This is the sixth season in which Solti
has led the Chicago Symphony, and it
likely to be the most notable. The
rent. European tour- concerts in 11
cities—is the second the orchestra has
taken, and the first in which its primacy
has been acknowledged. During the tour,
it will complete а recording of Bectho-
ven's symphonies, P
big book on the symphony

rivel

тїзє for Novem-

ber release is
and its conductor te titled Season
with Solti. And then there will be, amid
the continuing rhythms of the season, two
symphonic spectaculars to be performed
in both New York and Chicago: a concert
of Salome, with R t Nilsson, be-
dis Requiem.
Price, in the spring. It all
provides the kind of bonbon lor mu-
sic lovers that andiences can’t tuck in

Solti’s tails.

BRYLCREEM SAYS DON'T
MEASURE YOUR SEX APPEAL BY THE
LENGTH OF YOUR HAIR.

TSEXY SEXY
emt SEXY У

А. Sideburns too long and too wide. End
result: not too terrific. We said goodbye to
sideburns and let his hair grow 11% inches
all over. Then gave it a layered cut.

Also recommended: frequent
shampooing with Brylcreem Once A Day
Shampoo to condition the hair while
washing away excess oil, dirt and loose
dandruff.

B. This guy was fighting natural curl with

a cut that was too clasely crapped on sides
and back. We let it grow for two months.
and shaped it.

Because curly hair is porous and tends
to dry out quickly, we used a dab of
Brylcreemto condition while helping to
keepthe hair neat and manageable all day.

C. Too much hair, too little face. We took
off 5 inches. Gave him a scissor cut, parted
onthe side to add more width and fullness
to the top.

When hair goes through this change
from very long to short, it needs about a
week to lay right. Help it along with
Brylcreem Power Hold, a specially
formulated control hair spray that provides
real holding power all day.

D. This guy's hair was all wrong for the
shape of his face. Too long in back and too
much of one length.

We cut off 2* inches in front, 3 inches
in back. We layered it on top for more body
and gave him a geometric cut along the
edges for the New Short look.

Brylcreem believes
that sexy is as sexy
does. And when
your hair really
does some-
thingforyou, \
then you've got
sex appeal.

group.

We've come a long way since "a little dab'll do ya."

a The &

holida
is just the

season

e start of

good things
іо come...
when you give

Month after month he’ll
continue to discover un-

expected pleasures (like

Playmate Karen Christy). Playboy will al-
ways provide a portfolio of the world’s
most beautiful women. He’ll also be kept
informed through features on the latest
fashions, newest products and most ex-
citing places to go for entertainment.
He'll be treated to fiction by the best
authors writing today and to equally bril-
liant nonfiction. Cartoons, social com-
mentary and candid interviews with
world-famous figures are just a few of the
pleasures he'll find in PLAYBOY the

КЫ; 5 PO e

$10 for first one-year gift (Save $6.00*) $8 for each additional one-year gift (Save $8.00")

Please send my gift to:

Playboy.

whole year through. And he'll
receive it all thanks to you.
Your gift will be announced
with your choice of two specially de-
signed greeting cards. And with the
new newsstand prices, a PLAYBOY gift
subscription has greater value than
ever before. By taking advantage of our
holiday rates, your first one-year gift
costs just $10 (saving you $6.00 or more
than 37%) and $8 (saving you $8.00
or a full 50%) on each additional one-
year gift.

Make sure he enjoys the good things
to come...with a gift of PLAYBOY.

My Name

(please print)

(please print) ay
Address.

Zp.

D Send unsigned gift card to me.
О Send my giftcard signed "From.

) Please complete the following
D Emer or O Renew my own subscription.
О Bill me after January 1.
D s____ enclosed.
О Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no.

[ШЕ] |

Й Total subscriptions ordered: ___
(Enter additional subscriptions on separate sheer.)
"Based on current newsstand single-copy prices.

City.

^ Please circle A or B

below to indicate which
card you want to.
announce your

gift of PLAYBOY

A B

(circle preference here)

Mail your order to:
PLAYBOY, Playboy Building.
919 North Michigan Avenue

eo, SS
A Division of Genesco @ The Apparel

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

I have enjoyed an active
it that Г had ihe basics
down. but now and then 1 discover ту
naiveic. For example, Bitch, the story by
Roald Dahl in the July rravnov, says that
there are women with “an extraordi
ily powerlul muscle in a region where
other women seem to have no muscles at
all.” My gynecologist advised me that by
exercising my vaginal muscles regularly,
1 could strengthen them to the point
where E could massage or even hold my
man me—incessing the friction
ity of feeling for both. myself
m. He sum
muscles at least ten times а day. He
ded that it would take а good six
paths. but the end would be reward
ing. The exercise apparently tightens
and fems all the related. muscles. sup-
porting the urinary and reproductive
uaa—making pregnancy and recovery
much casier. Why didnt someone tell
z—Miss B. C,

ested thar E tense the

me this five years ag

Austin. Texas.

You didn't ask. The training of erotic
ell h
but American women h
become comfortable а
ested in such an active vole. If you want
10 go deeper into the subject, consult
Mex Comforts “Joy of Sex.” He suggests
tying to draw a large Pyrex test tube
into the vulva without using your hands
(how's that for serious scientific value,
Тийе?) Comfort aho quotes English
Richard Bur-
Jon as saying that any woman can learn
aginal and pelvic muscles “by
her mind into the just con
We agree. Master this technique
and your boyfriends will love you jor
your mind.

musculature is и

own in the East,

only recently

th or even inter-

writer and adventurer

to nse her
throwin:

cerned

vious a
man whose picture
ages of Zig
is this guy?
Pennsylvanii

We hate to blow his cover, but Mon-
sieur Zig-Zag was a Zouave—an Algerian
recruited. by the French атту to fight in
the Crimean War. The North African
soldiers и

ces cc

Who

ve nolorions dopers, who
th a cloud of
“Hi Yo- Huh?"
Zouaves were noted for their briliant
uniform of gaiters, baggy trousers, short
and open-Jronted jacket and tasseled сар
or turban, They made good targets, as
you can imagine. Legend has it that an
unfortunate Zouaze broke his pipe in the
heat of battle and was forced to roll his

would into. battle

smoke and а hearty

weed in pieces of a field map. Indeed, Zig
Zag may have originated the famous
phrase “Praise Allah and pass the papers."

Gio ladies siy inat onty a woman knows
how to please another woman. My lover
doesn't exactly з

it of her mind with

смалу or multiple

ws when P per
form cunnilingus with her. and Fm be
nning 10 think Paced lessons. (Neither
ol us had donc it belore.) 1 teed like
dunce sitting in the comer looking
lis. Maybe 1 could. find а lest
Hips on oral sex. What do ус
-D. H.. Dey Moines, Iowa

ay claim is a classic example of
word-of-mouth advertising—the people
who believe something me the people
who spread й. We are veminded of а sim.
ilar proposition: that you can never find
а person who makes love as well as you
cun masturbate. Logi like that could keep
а good man down, Fortunately, а little
feedback will impro

any situation, and
Jeedlack is one thing you get а lat of in
oval sex. There is one truth in the lesbian
love тр: A woman can have [un without
getting shafted. Cunnilingus is the per
fect complement to coitus; what your
genitals can do. the vest of you can do ux

well and more reliably. Face it and you'll
find that it is а pleasure to give pleasure
without being worried about impotence,
premature ejaculation or size. Who eaves
И somewhere in the world there is a
Frenchman with a 124nch tongue. who
can hold his breath for 20 minutes? If
you want fo we yom tongue as a substi
тше penis. or approach your partner like
an oxygen musk

aright ahead. H makes
igh, to explore and ex
ой the differences between cunnilingn:
and coitus, Save the penetration for later
and focus Lightly) on the clitoris. In terms
of pressive, less iv more. Flickering
touches with the tongue, nibbling, ng
ging or sucking motions with the lips, in
combination with manual stimulation—
just about everything works at one time
or another, Duration is open-ended. А
few minutes is fine as foreplay, but the
event is fantastic in aud of itself. Don't
stop until your pariner asks you to. И
you miss а few days of work, it will be
wonh the effort. If she asks you to stop
hefore you get started, yon тау have а
problem, but one that is easily overcome
The recipient of oval sex should never
be passive en reserved. H she wonders why
you are. doing it, chances are she won't
find от. At the very least, she must pay
attention, The shift in atitude can be
subile oy dramatic. One woman told us
that the first time she got off. her lover
simply lifted her by the buttocks so that
her pelvis was the highest point of ker

more sense, thou

JA Song
Of Love
I5 A
Glad бопа...

Model 598 1

When You Hear It
In Stereo Or Quad

Our newest turntable system,
the Model 598III, comes complete
with walnut base, plexiglass dust cover
and the world’s finest cartridge
(Empire 4000 0/11). It plays any
stereo or 4 channel records at tracking
forces so low you can’t wear out your
records.

This means you can hear a lot
more songs and get a lot more love.

Empire 5981 Turntable avail-
able at better hi fi dealers.

Write for your free Guide to
Sound Design.

EMPIRE SCIENTIFIC CORP.
Dept. E, Garden City, N.Y. 11530.

musa ENPIFE

PLAYBOY

body. The blood rushing to her head, or
ашау [rom it, increased and focused the
erotic tension. Possibly your pariner is
worried about the act's being distasteful.
If she is healthy, that concern is usually
fictitious, Tell her that you enjoy what
you're doing. As Nathaniel Bynner. the
Brooklyn bard, says: “Distaste is da best
tasie in da world.”

С.е опе: wi freshman
in college. a girl I'd d high school
called and asked if she could come up
for a weekend. Wi н а hotel room
watching the Late Show, talking about
old times and why, although we h
been close friends, we had never slept to-

ether. “Circumstances,” 1 "and a
Табе sense of modesty.” 1 pointed out to
her that E had never scen her in а bath-
ag suit, ler alone а camp
counselor during summer. She

hed. took off her clothes: I lost my
virginity and missed the last half of

a Spencer Tracy movie. Chapter two: А
few years after I received. my degree, a
girl Га dated during my sophomore year
visited me for a weekend. She told me
that she had just returned from the
south of nce, where
signed and sewn a bathing s
ly. Nice work if you can get it. |

юг had de-

right on

ted out to her that I had never seen
let alone naked (1

a bathing suit
worked at loading fr
that summer). She 1
glorious. Chapter three:
Changed jobs amd mov
Coast. One of the se
old called up

ht cars duri
ed. eic, М was

Last year, I
М 10 the West
ies from the
asked И she

and
could visit. She ariived, we sat on the

осе

beach, talking about old times, spe
cally, why we had never slept together.
alse sense of mod-
este" Т said. and pointed our that T
had never seen her in a bathing suit
belore (New York being New York).
Again. the cosmic etc. What's the prob-
lem? I know a good line when Г hear
one. and it always works, right? Wrong.
1i turned out that cach of these girls was
on lier way to be married. They had al-
ready made up their mind to sleep with
me and just needed an excuse. I've never
heard of this happening to other guys.
Is it common?—M. P., San Diego,
California.

Yes. I's the same old story [rom Bikini
atoll to nothing atoll. The practice is the
woman's equivalent of a bachelor party.
Father than hire a complete stranger to
jump out of a cake and rape them, some
prospective brides look up old friends for
а final fling, Supposedly, it's more person-
al that way. The rationale for the act
varies: Some say that when you're in
love, you become aware of the other
loves in your life and would like to pay
respects. Others view the event as a burn-
ing of bridges—only the past is а draw-

‘Circumstances and a

bridge that they'd like to get а rise out
of at least once before they move on.

y stereo sounds great—except when
п operator decides to get in
touch with other members of his sub-
species. At any time during the day or
night. my listening pleasure may be shat
d by the epic “Roger Wilco buys a
shirt” or the saga “Roger Wilco paints
the guest room.” Last week I wied 10
tape piece of music. only to be inter-
rupted by this makeshift Marconi relat-
ug line for line an All in the Family
episode, 1 mean, really! The number of
his broadcasts. indicates that he is an
ivalid who has nothing bener to do:
the level of his babbling suggests that he
is a mental deficient who is best kept off
the street. И хо, D sincerely regret my
hy toward the fellow. Is there any
I can. do to rid myself of this dis-

turba Я

A spokesman for the FCC tells us that
ате no legal means for silencing a
garrulous gadgeteer—the airwaves belong
to the people, hams make great hero
sandwiches in the event of emergencies,
ete. You have three choices: One, record
his call number, find out his address from
the FCC and enroll him in a public-
speaking corse: two. record his call
number, find out his address and take
ош a contract on the dude; three, contact
the manufacturers of your components or
а local service representative. They are
familiar with the problem and know the
type of filters that will keep your listening
pleasure private.

F currently work for a large, well-know
insurance company in а department that
has a female supervisor. She is а 30-year-
old divorcee: I am in my early 2%. А
few weeks ago, I was told to report to
her office just before che end of the day
(a Friday). No sooner had the other
employees lelt than she politely informed
me that she wanted me and that it could
benefit my future with the company.
Since she is very attractive, and 1 was
not getting any at the momen, I figured,
We ended up at her place
very. fulfilling weekend. We
spent most of the day and night in the
хас регіо мегсошзе, oral sex,
anal sex—all done in varied positions.
On Sunday, 1 got a real surprise. She
told me she was end over
and that she wanted me to watch and
take pictures. Ву then, I was game for
anything. When the doorbell rang, I
climbed into the closet as ordered and got.
the cameras ready. The guest turned out
to be a girl work. who had started
about the same time I did. They spent
considerable time making gay love and
even went as far as to use a strap-on
dildo on each other. 1 enjoyed watching
this act and had a fantastic ball after the
girl left. Today at work, the supervisor

told me that she wanted me to move
with her and share

ness. She spelled

n
їп her sexual happi
wanted.

from me. which joining her
and others in threesomes. Naturally,
I am moving іп. Do vou think Im
making a mistake —T. ХМ. Hartford
Connecticut.

Sounds to us like you lifted this plot
рот some X-rated “Up the Organiza
tion” that you bought at Weird Harold's
adult bookstore, H so, you left out the
social twist that
usually mars pornographic fantasies of
this sort—the hero finds that he really
loves the other girl, but when he declares
his true love to the supervisor, she pulls
out pictures that she had taken of him
threatens blackmail and everyone lives
unhappily ever after. Moral: I's OK to
have a skeleton in the closet as long as
il doesn't own à camera. И you're serious.
then you do have a problem, Don't give
up your apartment. Insurance companies
are notoriously conservative—some dont
issue policies to unwed couples living
together or charge higher premiums if
they do. They are probably less lenient
with employees. Office affairs vequive a
great deal of discretion, a quality you
obviously don't possess, since you wrote
us this letter and now some 30.000.000
readers know about your exploits.

“redeeming value

А recent issue of Newsweek included
an article on PLAYBOY'S imitators in which
The Playboy Advisor was mentioned. 1
hate to quote Newsweek, because 1 know
it has misquoted or misread your advice
“The Playboy Advisor dispenses tips to
letter w

ers on how to repair their

stereos or make reservations with Amtrak.
Penthouse's. advice columnist. Xaviera
(The Happy Hooker) Hollander, leer-
ingly counsels readers who are turned on
by amputees or are wrestling with an
enema fetish.” You've never dealt with
these subjects, and I wonder, is there
a reason why?—L. R., Chicago, Шик
You bet. А magazi ets the per
sonal tastes, needs and/or obsessions of
its editors. The editors of this column
are foot-loose, fancy-free and dedicated to
the pursuit of happiness. Our social skills
are such that we ате not limited to part
ners who can't run ашау. And with
friends like ours, who needs enemas?

nc re]

АП reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiqnetle—
will be personally answered if the writer
includes а stamped, self-addressed en-
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent queries will
be presented on these pages cach month.

SHOWN & WILAMSON TOMCCO COM,

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined

{ That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. | ВАО НЫ ооо kindenla осе
| - longs, V mg, "tar" 1.2 mg nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report Mar."24

[тнв]
Cy]

Complete Book y.
BOATING 555

| ROBIN MOOR ECT

ALVE Т PETER BENCHLEY
ж Hit JAWS
HUNTER _ | =

ЕВЕ OF MANS \
| MOST TERRIBLE ADVENTURE, FROM
| PHOTOGRAPHER | ATOVETRIM ? » | By Morton Hunt.

Reading Entertainment for Men

Just as PLAYBOY is different from ail
other magazines, Playboy Book Club is
different from all other book clubs. It is
а book club created by our editors for

wide interests, discriminating tastes and
azestful life-style.

In the pages of PLAYBOY we bring
you the finest and most provocative
articles and fiction by many of the
world's most prominent writers. Now
we will make available to you—at
significant savings—what we consider
the most candid, contemporary,
swinging and thought-provoking books
of permanent value published this year

And we'll offer you a wide choice
of books at savings up to 33 percent
under retail prices. The best from the
publishing world selected for you by

Playboy's Choice, an illustrated
monthly bulletin, will describe our
editors’ selections. Your only obligation
is to add as few as four Club Selections
(or Alternates) to your library during
the first year. (Sorry, but orders from
outside the U.S. and Canada cannot be
processed.)

Rememoer, if you enjoy PLAYBOY,
you belong in Playboy Book Club. Fill
in the application today—and embark
with us on a reading adventure that
knows no boundaries.

Bonus: PLAYBOY'S GIFT PACK of
three provocative paperbacks (а $2.85

the sophisticated man of today with

985 А MATTER OF STYLE 975 SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

Joe Namath

with Bob Oates, Jr.
(Pub. Price $12'50)
Star telis secrets of his
strategy, passing
technique, private lite-
Hundreds of photos
(Counts as two books
973 HIT =29

Joey with Oave Fisher
(Pub. Price $7 95)
Most intimate and
appalling true account
of a killer at work

809 PLAYBOY'S HOST
& BAR BO!
Thomas М:
(Pub Price $12 95)
For the superhost—
Mlustrated

(Counts as two books)
970 JAWS

Peter Benchley

(Pub. Price 56 95)
Superthriller novel

of ferror-spreading
great white shark

845 THE CLASSIC
WOMAN

James Sterling Moran
(Pub. Price 516.95)
Unique photographic.
work--60 illustrations of
lovely women

(Counts as two books)

Heroes of the Andes
crash: one of the great
пие survival stories of
all ume

962 WAR

A Photographic History
Тех by Albert В.
Leventhal
(Pub. Price S16 95]
А ihe wars the
camera has ever seen
(Counts as two books)

IN THE 1970s
Morton Hunt

(Pub. Price $10.95)
Where America is at—
sexually, most extensive
report since Kinsey
981 THE TREASURE
HUNTER

Robin Moore and
Harold Jennings
(Pub Price SB 95)
Fabulous; true story
о! high adventure «n.
search of booty

ТВБ HOW TO TALK
DIRTY AND
INFLUENCE PEOPLE
Lenny Bruce

(Pub. Price $6 00)
Confessions and
accusations
Mustrated

805 GRAFFITI
Robert Reisner

(Pub. Price $6.95)
Wall writing- classics
and shockers

863 THE ART OF
SENSUAL MASSAGE
Inkeles, Todris &
Foothorap

(Pub. Price S7 95)
Explicit photographic
guide

875 ГМ OK-YOU'RE О!
‘Thomas A. Harris, M.D.
(Pub Price $5.95)
The сеа! bestseller

920 COOLEY
Hi

ice 58.95]
Fantastic Ме story of
the great heart surgeon
919 GETTING INTO
DEEP THROAT

Complete story of
Controversial film
8 pages c! photos

PLAYBOY editors.

968 DR. STILLMAN't
314-DAY SHAPE-UP
PROGRAM

Dr. Irwin M. Stillman
and Samm 5. Baker
(Pub Price S7 95)
New siimming dier.
trimming exercises

967 THE COMPLETE
BOOK OF CAR
MAINTENANCE ANO
REPAIR

John D. Hirsch

(Pub Price $10 00)
For the amateur who
wants fo save money

900 THE DAWN'S
EARLY LIGHT
Walter Lord

Price S8 50)
Exciting, gripping
story of War ot 1812

853 COSMOPOLITAN'S
LOVE BOOK

(Pub. Price $5 95)

А guide to ecstasy

mn bed

944 SHOW BUSINESS
LAID BARE

Earl Wilson.

(Pub. Price S7 95)
Sexual side of
entertainment world;
X-rated anecdotes:
candid illustrations

784 THE SEX BOOK
Goldstein, Haeberle

& McBride

IPub. Price $9.95)
Pictorial encyclopedia—
"revolutionary " bestseller.

969 SUPER
HANDYMAN'S.
ENCYCLOPEDIA OF.
HOME REPAIR HINTS

$7.95)
Hundreds о! labor-zaving.
money-saving ideas

923 BLOODLETTERS
ANO BADMEN

Jay Robert Nash

(Pub. Price $16.95)
Greatest one-volume
Collection of American
‘criminals; 640 pages,
325 illustrations,
{Courts as tmo books)

928 THE SINGLE MAN'S
INDISPENSABLE
GUIDE & HANDBOOK
Paul Gillette.

(Pub. Price $8.50)
Without it, you're just
not with И

955 KILLERS OF
THE SEAS

Eóward В. Ricciuti
(Pub. Price 510.00)
Dreaded creatures
that threaten mar—
Mustrated

737 THE MOVIES
Richard Griffith and
Arthur Mayer

(Pub. Price $19.95)
Мома history—1300
photos

(Counts as mo books)

802 PLAYBOY'S
COMPLETE BOOK OF
PARTY JOKES

(Pub. Price $8.95)
Comic encyclopedia

916 SEX & DRUGS
Robert A. Wilson
(Pub. Price $8.95]
Turn-ons, lurn-ofts.
thulls, dangers;

the complete picture

940 COSELL
Howard Cosell

(Pub. Price $6.95)
Candid, explosive,

“as entertaining as its
subject" Book World

value) yours FREE for prompt action.

357 THE LIFE AND

DEATH OF ADOLF

HITLER

Robert Payne

Pub. Price $12.95)
The herror story

of the century"’—Book

World: illustrated

(Counts as two books)

Pub. Price ST 95)
Hair-raising furthor.
adventures of Papillon

901 TOTAL ORGASM
Jack Lee Rosenberg
Mustrations by
Joseph Jaqua

(Pub. Price 56.95)
inustrated guide to
sexual fullillment

958 THUNDER LA BOOM
Anne Steinhardt

(Pub. Price $6.95)
Mind-blowing, hilarious.
erotic yet honest novel
about bottomless dancer

959 GOLF MY WAY
Jack Nicklaus

With Ken Bowden
(Pub. Price 59 95)

А-2 quide 10 improved
oolfing—Ilustrated

963 YOU CAN PROFIT
FROM A MONETARY
CRISIS

Harry Browne

(Pub. Price $8.95)
Survival kit lor
economic storms;
runaway bestseller

388 THE GAME OF
CHESS

Edward Lasker

(Pub. Price 58.95)
Remarkable new way
to learn winning play.
hundreds о! diagrams

971 ТНЕ CONPLETE
BOOK OF BOATING
Ernest A. Zadig

(Pub. Price $12.95)
From stem fo Stern,

а giant, illustated
guide 10 happy cruising
(Counts as two books)

977 THE SWARM
Arthur Herzog

(Pub. Price $6.95)
Giant bees atiack
cities in tense novel

ово HOW І WOULD
PITCH TO BABE RUTH
Tom Seaver with
Norman L. Smith

(Pub. Price $8.50)
Best writing about
great sluggers of

all time Illustrated.

982 GOO SAVE
THE PLAYERS

Neil Olfen

(Pub. Price $7.95)
Funny. crazy. sometimes
víoleni world of
American sports fans

983 JACK THE BEAR
Dan McCall

(Pub. Price $5 95)
Suspenselul, sad. very
funny novel about boy
growing to manhood

984 MY NIGHTS
AND DAYS

"Mulle

(Pub. Price $6.95)
Intimate. frank, true story
of call girl's career

987 AMERICA'S
BACKPACKING BOOK
Raymond Bridge.

(Pub. Price $12.50)
Most thorough and
informative guide;

large formar—litustrated.
(Counts as two books)

offer:
Choose any
4 books Юг
only 195

(value up to $40.95)

when you agree to become
a member of Playboy
Book Club.

* Deluxe volumes count as two selections. Publishers: prices quoted are U.S, prices; Canadian prices may be slightly higher

LAYBOY BOOK CLUB
layboy Building
919 North Michigan Avenue, Chicago,

Please enroll me as a member in the Playboy Book Club and
send me the books whose numbers | have listed below. billing
me only $1.95. 1 understand that some deluxe volumes count
as two selections.

4 understand that for 51.95 1 may choose books worth as much
ав 540.35. and tha! you will also send Playboy's Gilt Pack of
three provocative paperbacks, a 52.85 value. as my free bonus
for prompt action

1 understand that you will send me Playboy's Choice, the
publication describing the Selections and Alternates. at three
То four week intervals. together with a dated Member's Instruc.
ton Card which | may mail back, by the dete shown on the
card, to reject the Selection or to choose any of the Allemates,
T understand that if 1 wish to receive the Selection, 1 do nothing
and it will be mailed to me aulomatically AFTER the date
shown on the card. | understand that Playboy's Choice is

mailed in time to allow me at least 10 days to decide il 1
want the coming Selection, If because of late mail delivery
of Playboy's Choice, 1 should ever receive a Selection without
having had the 10-day consideration period, that Selection may
be relurned at Club expense for full credit

My only obligation ав a member із 1o accept four Selections
ог Alternates during the coming year from tho many titles
offered. My membership is cancelable any time after buying
these four books. In all cases, | will receive books identical lo
the publishers" edit ^ modest postage and handling
Charge is added to all shipments

NAME
(Please Print)
ADDRESS
city. STATE zip
4-19

"Father always said, 'Get your money's worth no
matter what it costs.' Superscope tape recorders start
under $50* And they're created BY THE SAME PEOPLE
WHO BRING YOU THE WORLD'S FINEST NAME IN
AUDIO EQUIPMENT... MARANTZ

I bought the exciting Superscope C-108 cassette
recorder — so small its in the palm of my hand.

And Its got Superscope's marvelous built-in condenser
microphone so there's no mike to hold. And you can
shake it and twist it and still get perfect recordings.

Of course, Superscope makes a full line of quality
tape recording equipment: stereo cassette decks with
built-in Dolby** noise reduction, 8-track players,
FM/AM radio cassette combinations and portable
cassette recorders.

Buy a Superscope tape recorder today. You'll find
them at your Superscope dealer. He's in the yellow
pages.

Tell him ‘J.B. sent you?

EE,

fromthe makers of Marantz

e
SUPERSCOPE

Listento us.

| | a > ШШ,
| ;

Melb]
| i РА
И

АИ ҮҮ |

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

an interchange of ideas between reader and editor

on subjects raised by “the playboy philosophy" |

ANGEL OF MERCY

Don't tell me nurses are all sexless pill
dispensers. Recently, when I had а bro-
ken knee, а darling nurse was massaging
my leg with oil. Noticing that my temper-
ature and pulse were low, she proceeded
to skillfully titillate me to erection and

masturbate me, with my
cooperation. 1 was exhilarated, my В
beat speeded up and my body warmed

all over. | stopped coughing and my
knee quit hurting. Then 1 slept like a
baby. Heaven bless nurses likc her who
are interested. in comforting the whole
body.
(Name withheld by request)
Houston, Te
We hereby invent, and bestow upon
this anonymous nurse, the вълувох Flor-
ence Nightingale Award.

CARRY ON, NURSE!
Britain's Royal College of Nursing has
given the nod to nurses who wish to take
part-time jobs as striptease artists to sup-
plement their meager incomes. It seems
that nurses from one London hospital
have been doing just that, and 30 percent
of all qualified. British nurses already
have ра jobs in their offduty
hours, because their salaries as nurses
average only 551 t0 567 per week. Under
those circumstances, the nursing college
declared that nurses who work part time
as strippers will not be punished.
Charles Dickson
Detroit, Michi

-time

EQUALIZING THE SEXES

Г would like to propose a great leap
forward im the struggle to equalize the
sexes: Young girls should undergo hymen.
eaomy with the same regularity that
male infants are subjected to circumci-
sion. The hymen is, after all, а superflu-
ous piece of tissue that most girls will
eventually lose anyway. And, without
the question of the intact hymen. there
rounds Гог senseless
inity,
which would then be equally unprovable
in both sexes

over los of vi

Ken Logan

Massachusetts
What? Deflower all virgins in the bud?
Newer!

THE BREAST REPRESSED

The prudes
cease to astonish me, 1t appears that not
only is the fusion of sperm and egg an

shenanigans of never

obscenity to these types but even the meth-
od by which mammals nourish their young
is naughty. In Chula Vista, Calilornia
the trustees of Southwestern College have
passed a resolution, by a four-to-one vote,
ng a female instructor for bri
ing her baby to school and nursing it
The students have already been polled
and 9 percent of them support the
teacher, but the board doesn't care about
that. Breast feeding, they announced in
their resolution, is “unprofessional con
duct.” They have now decided to fire the
Tady for her failure to repent, тесин and
button up. Is there any natural, ordi
nary. wholesome aspect of life that these
bluc-nosed fanatics won't. besmirch with
their prurient sex haired? If being a
living animal on their planet is so embar-

censur

rassing to them, why don’t they build
а spaceship and leave earth? Maybe
they can find а planet where repro

duction and caring for the newborn are
unnecessary

AMERICAN SEXUAL COMEDY

Dr. Albert Ellis once wrote a book
called. The Sexual Tragedy
ud, though some of the grim effects of
our taboos justify that title. I've often
thought a book about sexual problems
in the U.S. might better be titled. The
Imerican Sexual Comedy, Where else
can one find people as hilariously in
tional about every aspect of hu
der as here in the land of the free? For
instance. a letter in Abigail Van Buren's
column. “Dear Abby." concerned a father
who asked his teenage daughter what size
bya she wore. The girl was embarrassed
and her mother was indignant. Abby
sided with the ladies and implied Dad
was a kook to cv ask such а question.
Jers then jumped into the fray with
ir own opinions and Abby admiued

American

twenty 10 one in
vor of Dad's right to know. However.
she printed another letter delending her
own position, from a father who com-
mented that he coulda't care less what
size bras his daughters wea

Nobody in the whole debate asked
why the question should be such а no
no. The anxiety generated by the
evidently includes a secondary taboo on
suiting the reason for the original taboo.
А foreigner might be led to believe that

sue

OURS ARE MACHINE WASHABLE
NOW 12 LUSCIOUS COLORS
YES, THE SAME 225 THREAD COUNT
The choice is yours in the following
colors: Midnight Black, Scarlet Red,

Honey Gold, Royal Blue, Emerald

Green, Silvertone White, Lavender
Florida Orange, Deep Purple, Pedal
Pink, Powder Blue & Canary Yellow.
Fach Entire Set includes:

1 straight top sheet

1 fitted bottom sheet

2 matching pillow cases

2 straight top sheets

2 matching pillow cases
Twin sets $18.00 Queen sets $24.00

Double sets $20.00 King sets $27.00
(For Full Size Beds)

Round 84” sets, fitted, $40.00
Round 96" sets, fitted, $45.00

No Charge For Postage
Send check or money order
50% deposit on C.O.D/s

REGAL SATINS, INC.
315 Hwy 35 Depr. Р
Eatontown, N.J. 07724

Everything you
ever wanted to
know about drinks.

But didn't know
who to
ask.

New
d

Old Mr. Boston.
P.O. Вок 1814 Dept. 126
Louisville, Ky. 40201

Please send — Old Mr. Boston Deluxe Official
Bartender's Gude(s) al $2.50 each, postpaid, to

WT go

Encosedis$ — (check or money order.)

(Sorry, no cash or stamps.) снос pres |
Name ure к= |
Address = =N
City _ State nuo |

€) Old Mr. Boston

PLAYBOY

information about bra sizes is at least as
dangerous as nuclear secrets and would

wonder what havoc. Dad might wreak if
he ever found out the wuth.
D. Levine
Skokie, Illinois

KEEP IT IN THE FAMILY

A while back, a woman wrote to Aun
Landers about the odd solution she and
her husband bad devised Гог the prob-

Jem of his sterility. Wanting children,
they persuaded the husband's. father to
impregnate the wife, thereby assur

that the child would carry the family
genes. Naturally, Landers refused to
endorse such a violation of Judaeo-
Christian taboos, Another reader wrote
in furiously to denounce this breach of
all that’s holy, Said this authority on mo-
р To the mother, the child would
he a m we (her husband's
brother). а son, and a grandson, To the
woman's husband, the child would be a
stepson and а brother. To the fatherin-
law, the child would be a son and а
grandson. He would also be his own
Cousin. . .. Worse yet. the child would be
his own uncle

zii

[em that people sull think
their do prejudices the
moral laws of the universe. What consti
hes incest. depends on where you are.
and when. Many societies permit imer-
course berween noublood relatives (cg.
а man and his daughter A dew
have gone futher: The E Phar-
aohs married their own sisters in order to
intain dynastic control of the throne
Cleopatra was the product of six genera
tious of brothersister marriages. Incest
even happens in the Bible: Abraham's

tribal e

ура

wile, Sarah. was also his half sister
Even is the face that
few Chr the influence of

such erotic. mythology on their own leg
ends. God, as Father of all humanity, is
Father to the Virgin Mary: as the Holy
Ghost. He is her husband. ог lover. (im-
рге нот): and as Jesus. Не is her son
Thereby. own father, His own

cil
His n
estuously sexy of all the
n 10

nellathe »hers Joverhusband
and the
solar gods who die and rise
preserve the crops, One can imagine the
horror of Landers and her readers il this
family ever discussed their intimate lives
in her column.

lost

Wi | Smith
Newark, New Jersey

BISEXUALITY AND DECADENCE

Most people don t want to change their
own sexual orientation and coulda
ke such a eli if they did want
10. Consequently, mutual tolerance is the
only sane attitude toward one another's
sexual drives—whether heterosexual, |
sexual or homosexual

Tsay this to make it clear that 1 am not
writing as some sort of Bible-toting [unda
mentalist when I warn that the current

c eve

FORUM NEWSFRONT

a survey of events related to issues raised by “the playboy philosophy”

TEEN SEX

WASHINGTON, D.C—Aboutl 30 percent
of unmarried American girls from the
ages of 15 to 19 have had sexual inter-
course and about one third of those have
been pregnant at least once, according to
a study by two Johns Hopkins University
sociologists. Professors Melvin Zelnik
and John F. Kantner base their estimates
on data collected three years ago among
a random sample of 4611 girls as part of
a continuing study of adolescent sexual-
йу in the U.S. Their latest findings, re-
ported in Family Planning Perspectives,
indicate ihat about ten percent of the
over-all teenage female population be-
cames pregnant before marriage and
that for every ten babies born live to
U.S. (еепацету, six are conceived ош of
wedlock.

ACADEMIC. FREEDOM.

penton, rexas—A Federal district
court Пах permanently enjoined Texas
Woman's Сибенйу from enjorcing a
rule that unmarried women, 22 or young-
er, nol living with parents, must мау in

whoolapproved housing. Ruling on a
suit by а 1%yearold TWU student who
had vented an сатри apartment, (he
court hell thar "students do not velin-
quish constitutional rights upon entering
a university”

DANCING AS FREE SPEECH

xew vouk-The U.S. Count of Ap
реа!» for the Second Сатсий has ruled that
danci en mude dancing, is a farm of
expression protected by the First Amend:
ment and may nol be prohibited by local
authorities

The decision struck down an

ordinance in North Hempstead, Long
Island, and, presumably, similar ordi
nances in other towns. However, city offi
cials said the decision would be appealed
to the U.S, Supreme Court, and Nassau
County district attorney William Cahn
said he would continue arresting topless
and bottomless dancers under the state's
pulliclewdness statute.

TWO KINDS OF JOY

st, Lous—By mistake, a local book
supplier sent a St. Louis Catholic gilv.
school 25 copies of “The Joy of Sex” in-
stead of “The Jay of Cooking.” The error
was discovered by the company, not the
school, which had paid Ше bill without
protest.

NO JOY IN MUDVILLE

сихаххАТЕ-А 19-year-old Ohio Uni-
versity student was arrested by police alter
he dashed onto the outfield during a
major-league baseball game as part of a
class project. He explained in court that
the purpose of his act, conceived as a
“sheet arts” project for
class, was “lo discover the fears that stop
you from functioning” His professor
confirmed his моту and said the idea was
for students to overcame their self-con-
sciousness and inhibitions bY

а basie-design

doing
things they ordinarily would never con

sider. The judge said, “I wish yon a lot of
luck in your academic endeavors” and

fined the student S100 jor Despassing.

STAMPING OUT ANARCHY
cimeaco—A Federal district judge has
given a five-year prison sentence to a 30
year-old draft resister who pleaded guilty
to charges of vandalizing three. Chicago-
area draft offices between 1969 and 1972.
Яе hearing Charles Bishop Smit ex-
plain why he became ап
anarchist- pacifist, Judge Edwin А. Rob
son handed down the sentence and said,
“This court cannot cast ifs lol with an-
ату I would feel derelict in my duty if 1
did not impose a penalty to serve as а
deterrent to those whe think they would
Jollow in this defendant's footsteps.”

how and

COPS VS. ROBIN HOOD

мимелекее—4 23-year-old man has es
tablished his legal right to feed expired
parking meters and leave car owners a
note requesting a one-dollar donation to
finance his philanthropic work. Nettled,
police threatened to charge Bruce Vanier
with “throwing a missile on а vehicle” —
а seltaddiessed envelope saying “You
have just been rescued from a 55 parking
ticket by the Robin Hood public-parking
eid"—but the city attorney decided the
ordinance was too vague to apply; the

police also throw such “missiles” in the
Jorm of parking uckets. The police then re-
lented on the man's meter feeding, bul tick-
cted him for riding an unlicensed bicycle.

JUSTIFIED JAIL BREAKS

LANSING, маснісах— Гле Michigan
court of appeals has ruled that fear of
sexual attack is justification for a convict
fo attempt to escape from prison. In re-
versing the escape conviction of а Michi-
gan reformatory inmate, the court said,
“The lime has come when we can по
longer clese our eyes to the growing
problem of institutional gang rapes т
our prison system.”

Elsewhere:

= In Louisiana, a state senator has in-
troduced a bill in the legislature that
would provide a possible death penalty
for the rape of men as well as of women.
Senator Nat Keifer said he considered
rape a heinous offense regardless of the
victim's sex and said the bill is aimed at
stopping homosexual attacks їп the
Slate's prisons.

* т Massachusetts, Governor Francis
W. Sargent has signed a bill allowing
males to file charges contending they
were victims of rape.

CRIMINAL CONSORTS

DEXVER—The Colorado state parole
bourd has decided to waive certain rules
so that two former state-penitentiary in-
The

mates can be married. two met in
prison, where the bride-to-be was serving

Ы
I KOS D

RE 2

а sentence for passing bad checks and
the prospective bridegroom was in for
theft. One of the obstacles to their mar-
riage was a regulation forbidding parole
10 associate with “known criminals"—in
this case, with cach other.

RESTRICTIONS ON SEARCHES

SAN FRANCISCO—The U.S. Border Pa-
trol's authority to мор and search ve-
hicles has been limited by three Federal
court decisions, In two separate rulings,
а Federal appeals court held that the
patrol cannot operate fixed check points
for the stopping of cars, nor can it stop
and search а vehicle without a warrant
or probable cause. The Supreme Court
earlier had ruled unconstitutional the
patrol’s so-called roving searches for aliens
and drug smugglers away from the

border. A U.S. Attorney's office spokes-
man said the lower-court rulings would

probably be appealed.

MAINTAINING THE FAMILY

PIILADELPHIA—The housing commis.
sion of Philadelphia has decided that a
landlord may refuse to rent apartments
lo single men and women who want to
live together. “There's a moval aspect of
it,” sid one 70-year-old commission

member. “We want to maintain the fami-
ly." The local-newspaper reporter who
covered the story noted, “The decision,
while affecting action the commission
may take on such matters, has no legal
bearing and demonstrably has no influ-
ence on current lifestyles.”
SEE NO EVIL

ALBANY—After much healed debate,
the New York state assembly killed a bill
that would have allowcd contraceptives
10 be displayed on pharmacy shelves. Op-
ponents contended that such open dis-
plays would encourage promiscuity
among young people. The bill's sponsor,
Mrs. Constance E. Cook, commented aft-
erward, “I'm surprised they allow people
to sell beds in this state.

LIMITING ABORTION

MBany—Aniraborlion forces in New
York have succeeded in modifying the
state's four-year-old liberal abortion law.
The amended stainte now reqnires that
abortions performed after the 12th week
of pregnancy take place in a hospilal on
an inpatient basis and that а second
physician be present. during abortions
performed after the 20th week of preg-
nancy “to take control and provide im-
mediate medical сате for any live birth
that is the result of the abortion.” Gover-
nor Malcolm. Wilson's approval of the
measure followed his “very active” sup-
port in obtaining the bill's passage at the
urging of Conservative Party leaders in
the legislature.

In Minneapolis, a three-judge Federal
court has struck down Minnesoin's 1973
abortion law, which prohibited abortions
after the 20th week of pregnancy except
to save the life of the mother.

vogue of bisex
nicious. Basic sex ion is a very
delicate psychological factor that should
not become politicized—and certainly
should never be fanaticized. Yet this is
what is happening in the avantgarde
portion of the population. Young people
(and some older people who are political
radicals) are being propagandized into bi
sexual experimenting, at
al stability.
This is not just my opin
Grizzuti Harrison, а well-know
writer, complained
vine that such politicizing of
preference is “a little like tak
through Cloud Cuckoo Land. For one
thing, watching women bludgeon and
contort themselves into the ‘politically
appropriate’ sexual behavior and emo-
tional responses can be pretty disturb-
ing" Many feminists, she have
become “political lesbi ht wom-
en who, ` rc the oppression
of the n to be lesbians,
Many others have been brainwashed
i Wg the claim real. The same
thing is increasingly happening to liberal
males who often find that supporting gay
lib verbally isn’t enough: they must be-
come gay, or part gay. to be fully accept-
able in radical chic circles,

This. E think,
people can
the most. e aspect of lile, when
they must submit to sexual totalitarian-
ism, the very integrity of the self is col-
lapsi е people, Ги sure, will

id per-

real risk

. Ba
feminist

ncc. When

hay said of the political bisexu
are selling a phony sexual utopi
which the kingdom of the orgasm w
supposedly replace the house of the ego.
L. Solomon
New York, New York

BLISSFUL BISEXUALITY

Гуе Бе bisexu

1 for four years—
since 1 was nd it’s the only scene
that makes sense. Between being raised
а Methodist, reading (and digging)
Playboy and supporting women's libera-
tion. I came out of college totally con-

fused about who or what 1 was. After a

jety of miserable heterosexual experi-
ence, J was sexually afraid of both
women and men. gi bout having de-

sires that were merely selfish or just my
own trip. unsure of who or what to follow
moral guide. Then, oue night while
on LSD, I ended up in bed with my two
best friends—a guy and a gal. ]t was fabu-
lous, and 1 suddenly realized that we are
ach a galaxy, and getting communication
feeling from one galaxy to another is a
fabulous accomplishment. The п
е all weird, strange
never really Enow the other perso
When I understood that, T understood
пу definition is a social fiction, in-
g the definitions of male and

mis-
distorted: we
fully.

sions

PLAYBOY

female. Every human bi a wonderful
mystery to mc now, and I know I can
never solve any of these mysteries fully,
but they are all infinitely ating and
infinitely lovely. Some people may say
this is perversion, but I say it is cosmic bi-
sexual bliss.

(Name withheld by request)
imbridge, Massachusetts

ROYAL ASS

1 enjoyed the letter. titled “The Bul-
garian Connection" in the July Playboy
"orum. Here's another vote for anal in-
tercourse as the living end. 1 had gone
along for more than 20 years with a
happy. married sex life. when Г was sc-
duced, literally, by another male, a col-
í my age. Since then, my
still as good. varied and
juenr as ever, but оссазіопг Шу I get
little seasoning with homosexual in-
tercourse. Attractive specimens abound
who are eager to bed down with a ma-

hetero sex

com-
pares to the squeeze of a sphincter on a
cock buried up to thc hilt in a smooth,
firn
Its given me understand
spect for those who prefer
sexual love style,
(Name withheld by request)
Гисѕоп, Arizona

ss.

ig and re-
strictly homo-

TRAILERS AND TRIBULATIONS

My fiancé and 1 (both 203)
have heen living together 1 town
for almost a year, We bought a used
mobile home that was already set up
in a trailer court in town. When we
called the owner of the court to let her
know about the change in owners, she
said she couldn't rent to us in our "prcs-
ent situation." She left us with three
alternatives: (1) pay her rent to hold
the space but not move in ший after
we're married; (2) get married. immedi-
ately so that we can move into the trailer
at er to а new

п our mi
)a sm;

re moving the trailer. Why should
we get married just because somcone
doesn’t approve of us? Having moved
here from a large city where people don't
pass judgment on one another, we were
surprised to discover this sort of preju-
dice still extant in 1974
(Name and address
withheld by request)

WHERE'RE THE COPS?

Until recently. when a man went out
on the streets of Phoenix, Arizona, to buy
sex by the hour, his major worry w
whether or not the woman had V.D.
Now he also has to worry about whether
ог not she has а badge. Early this ye
the city passed a strict open-solicitati
law that quickly produced
such heinous crimes as signaling to pass-
ing motorists. But that’s far Пош all.

Besides pursuing the sellers in this profit
able business, the police have made a big
push to arrest and prosecute the buyers as
well. As a former policewoman working
on the vice detail, 1 was paraded up and
down Van Buren, where any woman on
the street at night is assumed to be a

hooker. (I rationalized that my job was
to enforce laws, not to approve of or
agree with them.) Though dowdily

по trouble
When

dressed, I had
potential custom

attracting
John ap-

proached, my job was to give the im-
pression, without saying as much, that
I was available. Once he made the sugges

tion that I have sex with him for a price,
I would lure him down the block, fake
motel key in hand, to a spot where my
cover officers and 1 would arrest him. An
hour and three or four arrests later, I'd
return to the office to do my paperwork
while other members of the 13-man vice
squad busily plotted their strategy for
catching the girls working Van Buren.
(My first few nights out, several patrol
officers. stopped and interrogated me.
The astonished looks on their faces when
they recognized me suggested they
thought Т was moonlighting!)

Alter J quit the force for personal rea-
sons unrelated to my vice-squad assign-
ment, I ran into a friend whose car had
been broken into. He was mumbling
something about "Where're the cops
when you need them?” Thirteen of them,
at least, are out on Van Buren arresting
adults who have agreed freely to trade
sex for money. They'll probably be there
until the city re-evaluates its law-enforce-
ment priorities.

BEHIND THE BUSH

An intriguing item in the Manchester
New Hampshire Union Leader told of a
University of New Hampshire cocd who
was accused of indecent exposure for
wearing only socks, sneakers and scarf i
a public place. The complaint against
her was dismissed by Judge Joseph Na-
deau, because although her pubic hair
was visible, her genitals weren't, and the
state statute says specifically thar there's

no indecent exposure without a display
of genitals. Tt hardly seems fair. New
Hampshire's law ates

st males, whose genitals are not nat-
lly concealed. In light of the court's

ion, incidentally, I can't help won.
dering if the young lady would have
been convicted had she been walking on
a shiny floor or wearing patentleather
shoe:

Paul Vogel
Marshfield, Massachusctts

JAPANESE MECHANICAL SCREEN

Т was amused by the July Forum
Newsfront’s report on Japan's war
against the photographic display of
pubic hair. Interestingly, the Japanese

customs office doesn't view as censorship
its requirement that importers of PLAYBOY
and similar publications ink out offend-
ing areas. “We do not censor,” said Tet-
suro Ando, chief of inspection of the
Tokyo customs bureau. "Customs officers
do not decide whether something is art
or pornography. We just mechanically
screen all items coming into the country
to keep out those that are harmful.”
1E this sounds idiotic, be informed that
there are in Japan no restrictions on the
importation of written hardcore; that
nude shows and performances
are allowed in the provinces while in
Tokyo performers must wear С sti
and that three TV channels show strip-
teases late at night. In short, the conflict
between tra and moder
has created а n that makes
sense to modernists or to traditionalists.
Don't laugh at the Japanese, however:
American ws are equally absurd
and contradictory. Contrary to the hero-
ic imagery of historians, humanity does
not march bravely forward into the
future but staggers blindly and half-
terrified every step of the way.
Jeffrey Brown
Los Angeles, California

BOSTON BROADCAST

Just prior to the Massachusetts Su-
preme Court's decision striking down the
State's obscenity laws, 1 video-taped а
personal commentary for WBZ-TV, in
which I stated:

Since the U. S. Supreme Court has
thrown the pornography question
back to Massachuseus, Massachusetts
should throw it away and forget
It.

Our enemies are the and
the thieves, not the voyeurs and the
exhibitionists. Its time that a vague
question of public morality yield to a
clear-cut question of public security.

I can't daim to have influenced the
court’s decision, but perhaps I helped
many of my fellow citizens to accept. it.
More pcople should take advantage of
opportunities to speak out on behalf of
civil liberties.

Paul R. Trustei
Woburn, Massachusetts

DEEP IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

A county official in New Hampshire
has defied the madness of censorship and
he may suffer for it. John Eames, county
torney for Grafton County, New Hamp-
shire, who owns a movie theater along
with his brother Jeremiah, was arrested
on orders of the state's attorney general,
Warren В. Rudman, for showing Deep

Throat and The Devil in Miss Jones.
"I'm

After his arrest, Eames said.
standing up for a principle I be
Somebody has got to. Consenting
should have the right to choose what they
want to sec, hear or read.” Rudman took

CHa o /
RLE ВАУ &C ff
ONQANQUE? MANO. ff

LS L

_ A fine addition to any penthouse,
townhouse, triplex or estate.

For people who deny themselves nothing.
Tanqueray Gin. A singular experience.

PRONOUNCE IT "TANKER-RAY" DISTILLED & BOTTLED IN LONDON, 100% NEUTRAL SPIRITS. 94.6 PROOF. IMPORTED BY SOMERSET IMPORTERS LTD., NY.

PLAYBOY

With a little help from a friend
... you can host the perfect
party . . . from an intimate get-
together to a large convention.
It's like being a guest at your
own party! Whether business
or pleasure, a little help from
your Playboy Club can help
you make a big impression.
Call the friendly Catering
Manager at any Playboy Club,
Playboy Hotel or Playboy
Club-Hotel today. Or write to
Marilyn Smith, National Sales
Director, Club Division, Dept.
09324, Playboy Building, 919
М. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
Шіпоіѕ 60611.

With a
little help
frona
friend

The luxury of SATIN SHEETS
Experience the intimate, inviting elegance of satin!
MACHINE WASHABLE! 225 thread count with 150
denier thread. 7 sensuous color Black, Red,
White, Cold, Royal Blue, Avocado Green, Plum
Purple. Our prices include: 1 fitted bottom sheet,
1 straight top sheet, 2 plllowcases . . . others don"
Twin Set $19.50 Queen Set $23.50
Full (dbl, bed) . 320.50 King set $27.50

Name —

Address

city

State

Charge to my:
17 Bankamericaró (С) Mastercharge

[ American Express

card по.
expiration dale —

signature
Send check ог money order or use your credit card
We pay postage. Retail Sales 10-4, Mon. thru Fri

Royal Creations, Ltd.

Dept. [30] _330 Fifth Ave., New York, Н. Y. 10001

steps to suspend Eames from his post as
the county’s chief law-enforcement offi-
cer, but Eames said he would run for
another term of оше and make а
campaign issue of his decision to show
the films and his consequent arrest.
"When people voted. f two years
ago. they knew who they were voting for.
They knew my family was affiliated with
theaters. We were showing X-rated films
before I was elected."

Governor Meldrim Thomson sanc
moniously declared himself “deeply d
turbed and concerned” that Deep
Throat was being shown in New Hamp-
shire. “I am sure the auorney general
will make every elfort to curb the flow of
this filth into our stite
ously tried to

iversity of New
Hampshire from the deadly menace of а
aystudents organization. | suppose I
should consider myself lucky to have my
morals protected by such men.
Gary Genestreti
Portsmouth, New Натру

HEALTH IN THE HEARTLAND
А Sioux Falls, South Dakota, jury
viewed Deep Throat and found the thea-
ter showing it innocent of exhibiting ob-
scene material D think irs significant
that this was a jury verdict and not an
appeals-court decision. One might imag
at such a verdict would be possible
cw York or San Francisco, but it is
hardly to be expected in а Midwestern
town such as Sioux Valls.
Laurence |. Zastrow, Director
Office of the Public Defender
Rapid City, South Dakota

ERODING MORALITY

Those who favor
censorship е the argument
that there is no е that porno;
phy causes sex crimes. In so saving, they
are attacking a straw man. No sophis-

wed advocate of censorship claims
1 pornography causes antisocial be-
ior. The real purpose of laws pr
scribing pornography is to mainte
public moral standards. As Justice John
M. Harlan wrote in Alberts vs. California,
“Ir seems to me dear that it is not irra-
tional, in our present state of knowledge,
10 consider ас pornography can in-
ducc а type of sex nduct which а
stare may deem obnoxious to the moral
fabric of society

The indiscriminate dissemination of
pornography. over the long run, can only
have a corrosive effect on moral standards,

all

every law represents а moral jud,
for example. that murder
laws cim protect morality even
an't inspire it

ан

wrong—and
if they

Michael Hodge

Fine. But whose moral standards are
you talking about? Yours? Ours? Nixons?

Al Goldstein's? You think porn lowers
the moral tone of our culture, but it can
just as well be argued that its morally
beneficial, Many people find й enter
laining and jor some it’s educational or
therapeutic. And most of the performers
say they have [un making it. Moral stand.
ards spring from particular religions and
philosophies that should пой be imposed
by law on persons of other faiths от be-
liefs. Legislators, judges and juries can't
be expected 10 agree on what is moral or
immoral, and morality is not a matter of
majority vote. Our founding fathers
acknowledged this in prohibiting a re-
ligious establishment. If any moral prin-
ciple should be embodied in criminal
law, it's the one that each of us has а
right to go to hell av heaven in the man-
ner of his own choosing, provided he
doesn't by to coerce anybody else into
following the same route.

LEARY'S MARBLES
па Leary’s June Playboy Forum
about husband “Timothy's suit
California prison system: ret
firms my assumption about his low marble
Tes also à good example of the
logic that the more off-the-wall social
reformers are olfering these days.

Granted, prisons don't seem to have.
abilitating inmates. But

doesn’t. mean. as Mrs. L
ests, that its rhe prisons th
ing the criminals. A vast
crimes are committed but few crin

much. success rcli
that

reported, fewer criminals are apprehend
ed and fewer still end пр So
most crime doesn't stem from prisons or
prisoners. unless Маз, Leary wants to
suggest that inmates are giving rre-
spondence courses.

1C Mis, Leary really wants to see “prej

e. folly and corruption.” 1

she free herself from the widespre
session with Water nd look at the
vested interests and sheer stupidity that
make а travesty
system: defense attorneys who believe in
acquittal ar any сом. jurors who vote not
guilty out of cowardice or sentir
ity, prosecuting attorneys who
bargains and correctional officials
who overlook their cha isbeliavi

Indeed, science and reason can
politics. But what makes Timothy Lea
suit quixotic is that it is based о
tion rather than

nher than reason

prison

leci

sciene

on naiveré

Bue what else can
we expect from а pitifully drugriddled
mind such as Leary? Maybe PROBE.
could declare its ulterior motive by re-
aming itself. more honestly, LSD—for
Let's Spring the Dopers.

William D. Harrell. Jr.

Chesapeake, V

COMPLETE FREEDOM

PLAYBOY resisumec to Government
intervention in matters of personal mo-
ality has been a breath of fresh air in a

world of lega
there
right of individu ] self-determination
carries responsibility for consequences.
The Government should not attempt to
restrict fornication but it should not Бе
expected to provide welfare and care for
children produced as a result of fornic:
tion. ‘The Government should not in
fere in our drinking and drug habits but
it should not have to bear any of the
costs of treating victims of these habits.

I don't know which came first—legisla-
tion of als or u casonable ере dl-
ence on vernment |
us from the consequences of o
I do know that freedom springs from
responsibility. Until we stop looking to
Big Daddy for a solution to all our prob-
lems, we will find his long nose poking
into our affairs.

Fred L. Pullen
Florida

THE PRESIDENT'S MORALS
The Watergate transcripts apparently
have produced а painful disillusionment
һ Richard Nixon among members of
fundamentalist Protestant religious sects,
who were previously among the Presi-
dents staunchest supporters. Ап artide
Vashingion Post quotes the
11, pastor of the

Convention, as
brought us to a
." The leading
Christianity To-

time of grief a
evangelical pul

aham has said
mot but deplore the

ns.
ing and
dropping more
n had been ex-

ploded in history before he took offic
hardly a peep of moral indignati
heard from these churchly. souls.

did preciou:
10 Nixon, or to anyone
that morality concerns more than sex,
dope or the prev of orher people's
Certainly, their silence about his

mpages never gave him a clue
that hurting people might be i
1 Bur
пароїњ, Indiana

ин

THE MACHISMO MERCHANT
s country is in a
g that of
both Babylon and ancient Rome, when
entire populations the world over, in-
те being murdered,

—
nce by perpetuating the sexist
ng of both women and men.
than demystifying the plastic

CENTER

The good times
Q begin at...
the fabulous new Playboy
Club, where a brood of
beautiful Bunnies will fuss
over you in breath-taking
surroundings.
> Enjoy great gourmet dining.
Great entertainment. Great
times.
Your Playboy Club Key
wmm) entitles you to the bestof
A everything.
Enjoy a nighton the
town...
in town. At the elegant and
spacious Playboy Towers
Hotel.
After checking into one of
our supercomfortable rooms,
relax with a generous drink
at the Towers Bar—the
liveliest, most hospitable
spa in Chicago.

PLAYBOY.

opens wide a new
world of excitement.

The Playboy Club and
Playboy Towers—where
Playboy opens a new world
of excitement. Just for you.

In Chicago. For reservations,
in Ilinois call (312) PL 1-8100.
Elsewhere call TOLL-FREE
800-621-1116.

® 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

FUSSBALL STREAKS HOME

$349.95 FOB Red Bank, N.J. №

a
Now you can own the ‘DIVERSE PRODUCTS INC. !
IDEN ICAL* TOURNAMENT [80x 727 RED BANK,N.J.07701 l
Quality SOCCER Game that JC Ship Immediorely -check Enctosed i
is played in many of America's 4L. 7" nm trem '
favorite taverns. Вай! re- Плаво, П
lainer & coin mechanism removed. je gute пр M T

PLAYBOY

The Soft Smoke.

From generation to
generation — for nearly a
Century — one family of
Danish craftsmen have
passed on their own
unique process of triple-
blending naturally ripened
tobaccos.

Now smoke the result
Imported Skallorna: mellow.
fragrant, bite-free. soft.

Delicious
smoking memories from Denmark.

The whiskey
that whispers

Grow Dish whiskey

бнт WHISKEY - EIGHTY PROOF + CROW DISTILLERY COMPANY + LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY

sexist cultural role traditionally assigned
10 women, PLAYBOY continues to build the
myth even bigger, as if the epitome ol
womanhood were а 3622.36 20-year-old
irginal-looking bourgeois movie star
PLAYBOY attempts to bc objectively
liberal: however, in actual practice
PLAYBOY is subjectively bourgeois. It is
i ble to be truly objective and 10
function as a capitalist enterprise, too
The sexist crimes of PrAxmov, the all
time historical pimp, have been noted.
nd it is inevitable that the day will ar
rive when the machismo mercham will
be dealt with accordingly. ;l'enceremos?
Michael Shane Guile
San Quentin, California

Gesundheit!

WHEN CHILDREN SEE PLAYBOY

As а sex educator (and a practicing
child psychologist. for more ihan 2
years), I'm often asked by р
read pLaysoy if harm result. from.
young children finding and looking at
their copies of the magazine. The par-
ents scem especially worried about the
male child who likes what he sees. Per
mit me to assure parents (or those of
you concerned about younger siblings)
that the only harm to be concerned
about is adult anger, or disappro:
which can trigger cither guilt fee
compulsive behavior. (Guilt provides the
energy for the involuntary гере
ideas or behavior) In all cases I know
about, the whole family benefits when
the parents are unconcerned about their
child's discovery of PrAvnov or when it
is used as an opportunity for some infor-
mal sex education.

1 also often hear concern from parents
that the idealized image of the Playmates
may give young children the wrong indi-
cation of the way the average woman
looks. Nonsense. They know what the
average woman looks like just look.
ing around them.

Interested readers can write to our in-
stitute for free publication lists and for
material about sex education in the
home by sending 25 cents in stamps or
coin to cover postage and handlin;

Sol Gordon, Director

Institute for Family Rescarch and
Education

760 Ostrom Avenue

Syracuse. New York

nts who

ABORTION MYSTIFICATION

People who oppose the passage of
some form of right-to-life amendment to
the Constitution must somehow main-
tain that the fetis is not human. Usually
ven is that the fetus is in
capable of sustained existence outside
the mother's body. As a definition of hu-
п ty, this is arbitrary
Let us discard sophistry and assert, sim-
ply enough, that any organism, in
whatever stage of development, that. can

the reason

nd capricious.

If Beethoven were alive today, hed be recordi
on Scotcli brand recording tape.

Beethoven was a genius. But he So, next time you record something
was even more than that. take a hint from the master.
He was a pro. Use"Scotch"brand—the Master Tape.

He was tough and demanding
and insisted on perfection in every-
thing he did. Just like the pros in to-
day's music business. The people who
may be putting a hundred thousand
dollars on the line when they walk into
а studio to put down a record.

And nearly 80% of all master
recording studios use "Scotch" brand
recording tape.

What else would Beethoven
record on?

3m „ааа. TheMaster Tape.

PLAYBOY

be called Homo sapiens is human. The
construction of any elaborate argument
to deny this is mystification in order to
first dehumanize and then murder those
whose existence. has become inconven-
ient to us. Both ^ nd Southern rac-
ists justified their murders with the
п that the victims were not really

Furthermore, the contention that the
fetus is not viable outside the mother is
simply not truc. When technical problems
t will be possible to
ags in the laboratory
as well the womb. Thus the embryo
may possess the potential for sustu
existence apart from the mother, the de-
nial of which forms the crux of argu-
ments for legal abortion.

As John rdinal Krol of Philadel-
phia noted at the Senate hearings on
the proposed constitutional amendments
t would ban legal abortion, there
е as many deaths—of fetuscs—each
week from legal abortions as there were
from the atomic bombing of Nagasaki.
Abortion is another manifestation of the
dehumanization in our society that made

У and Vietnam possible.

Hugo Carl Koch
New York, New York

It always strikes us as incongruous
when people who say the state has а
right 10 require women to bear children
and who deny individual: the right of
choice in moral questions compare others
to Nazis. Why not make an effort
to understand the argument for legal
abortion instead of dismissing it as soph-
istry and mystification? The nonviability
of the fetus is not the crux of the case
Jor abortion. We've never used this argu-
ment and we don't think it’s a good one,
since it could be applied to anyone not
physically self-sufficient. Nor do we
claim that a fetus is not Homo sapiens.
The point is that taxonomy is not moral-
ity. For all Americans who do not sub-
scribe to the religious doctrine that
abortion is murder, the question of the
moral and legal status of the fetus re-
mains an open one. The existing legal
situation permits all women to act in ac-
cordance with their conscience. The pro-
posed constitutional amendments would
destroy that freedom.

МНО OWNS YOUR BODY?
Proponents of lo

ht to own their own bodies. While I
agree with that viewpoint, few people

realize how radical а dem is. Virtu-
ally every government in the world
claims to own the bodies of its citizens,

male and female, and tries to control
them as it sees fit. I refer not only to the
агу draft (in which a man is seized
into slavery and sent into battle) and to
antinudity laws but to all the statutes
everywhere regimenting our forms of self-
decorati ice, it is against the

Tanzania for а woman to wear а

see-through blouse or some cosmetics.
ү y forbids men to wear
short. ens bell-bottoms or

Isracl forbids swastika decorations, even
though this sun symbol was used by Bud-
dha and thousands of other mystics long
before Hitler abused it as the emblem of
Nazism. People in various parts of the
United States harass Jongshaired
ily clad women and anybody м
ing decorations based on the matior
flag (unless they happen to be ei
of a major political party, working at a
convention). And so it goes, all around
the world. Certainly, we should own our
bodies; but we are fighting an uphill b
tlc in trying to make governments recog-
ize that right. They still bel
т property.

men,

ve we are

James Clark
Detroit, Michigan

LEGALIZING HEROIN

Incredible. That's the word for the let
ter from Sanford P. Cohen, New York
State Libertarian Party candidate fo
Congress, who advocates legalizing the
sale and possession of hard drugs (The
Playboy Forum, June). Cohen has failed
to do his homework. Hard drugs are not
here to stay. Tough laws and vigorous en-
forcement do work. For example, Brook-
lyn, which once led New York City in
the number of new drug addicts reported
each year, managed to slow the tide, re-
porting a 45 percent decrease in new
cases during the last half of 1973. The
Bedford-Stuyvesant ghetto showed а 57
percent decline

new cases.
You can never satisfy an addict's habit,
because he or she is сопы
for a higher high. The addict will shoot.
as much as you give him. Legalizing hard
drugs would be committing mass murder.
as substituting methadone for
that's like giving an alcoholic
instead of rye. There have been
more deaths in New York City [roi
methadone than from heroin. Lega
ization would only make the drug
problem worsc.

Robert D. Hantz, Deteaive

New York Police Depart

New York, New York

Hantz is Robin of the two-policeman
leam nicknamed Batman and Robin,
whose exploits in the Bed[ord-Stuyoesant
area are portrayed in the movie “The
Super Cops.”

Dr. Milton Helper, former chief medi-
cal examiner for New York City, has
stated that reports that methadone was
killing more addicts than heroin were
not accurate. He blamed an overzealous

(concluded on page 210)

BUYING COLOR TV?
HOW DO YOU CHOOSE
THE ONE THAT'S
BEST FOR YOU?

HERE'S HELP FROM
THE PEOPLE WHO
WROTE THE BOOK.

Pick up your free copy of this
fact-filled guide at a General Electric
Performance Television store. For
the name of the one nearest
you. call this special toll-free
number anytime:

800-243-6000

Dial as you normally dial
long distance.

(In Conn., call 1-800-882-6500.)

GENERAL © ELECTRIC

TV Receiver Products Dept., Portsmouth, Va.

THE BEST WAY TO BUY
COLOR TV ISTO
COMPARE PERFORMANCE.

GENERAL ELECTRIC ZENITH

We're not afraid to be compared
with our competition. We think it's
the smart way for you to decide
which set to buy.

So go into a store and compare
General Electric's performance with
RCA and Zenith. Thanks to five en-
gineering advances in this year's
models, we've got the brightest,
sharpest picture in our history.

Compare service records. In
1973, independent surveys* of re-
cent color TV buyers showed that
GE color required less service than
any other U.S. brand.

The best way to buy color TV is
to compare performance.

PERFORMANCE
TELEVISION

GENERAL Э ELECTRIC

"Details available on request. ТУ Receiver Products Dept., Portsmouth, Va.

PLAYBOY

Introducing Clarks

POLYVELDT

IN TIMES LIKE TITESE WHEN NOTHING LASTS,
POLYVELDT IS REVOLUT

Leather |

has invented a wholly new
ое that's made to be more
ble, more durable, than any
shoe. It's called Polyveldt,
arks of England can

We think you've had —
enough holes in your leather >
soles, enough erosion in
your rubber soles, enough
peeling and splitting in
your cushion crepe soles.
Polyveldt puts an end to
all that. Its sole is an in-
credibly durable new ma-
terial. In abrasion tests, the
Polyveldt sole has outlasted
leather, rubber and crepe. Polyveldt

year
and a half of constant
wear. The Polyveldt is
lighter, so it doesn't
cause the kind of
fatigue other shoes do.
Flexible, soit movesthe

way your foot does. And it doesn't
mark surfaces like so many other
soles do.

In addition, the Polyveldt sole has
proved to excel in traction on wood,
Stone, tile, concrete, every kind of
surface we could find. So climbing
up a rocky slope or running for a cab,
you're more surefooted vith the
Polyveldt sole.

But the most important charac-
teristic of Polyveldt is its comfort.
Inaregular shoe, if you stepped on a
sharp rock, you'd feel the point
through the sole. Ina Polyveldt, the

Sa. sole accommodates the unevenness,

acts as a shock absorber, and
keeps your foot evenly cush-
ioned. Theshaping of the
sole was determined
by careful study of
your foot. When
j ош
j shifts
from side to side,
putting“rolling pressure” on all the
tiny bones in your feet. When this
weight shift is uneven, it causes
more wear on one side of the average
heel than the other. But Polyveldt is
made to help resist this uneven wear,
keeping your foot as level as po:
soas not to put too much pressure
on any one part of your foot.
"The upper form of the shoe

JONARY. IT LASTS

made of the high-
est quality
leather, care-

\ fully treated
and pre-
pared by

jJ experts in
leathereraft
before it qualifies
for the Polyveldt
shoe. Thick cut and
carefully molded, it rounds out the
total comfort and quality of the
Polyveldt.

Polyveldt is revolutionizing foot-
wear, setting a standard that all
manufacturers should try to meet.

Come in for a test run, and see
for yourself. We've told you as
much as we can, your feet will tell
you the rest.

Polyveldt. Only from Clarks
of England.

ww. AL GOLDSTEIN

a candid (ugh!) conversation with the outrageous editor of “screw”

An ACLU. attorney says, “He gives
freedom of speech a dirty name.” De-
seribing Screw, the 18-page шее Му sex
tabloid that AU Goldstein edits and pub-
lishes, New York Court of Appeals Justice
John Gabrielli wrote, "It's hard to con-
ceive how a publication could reach any
Jurther lows in attempts to appeal to pru-
rient interests.” an opinion with which
the U.S, Supreme Court, late this July.
refused to differ by denying hearings on
several New York obscenity convictions.
Serew's Irreverent mix af scatology and
porn hay even carned Goldsiein the dubi-
us distinction of being called the world's
Joremost pornographer by The New York
Times. Screws. parent. company grossed
more than $2,100,000 last year—partly in
profits [rom ily production of a hard-core
film feature, “И Happened т Holly-
wood” (in which Goldstein played a
major role), but mostly from the papers
105000 circulation. Though the profit
margin has been substantially dimin
ished by $214,000 in legal fees and fines
[rom nine obscenity arrests diving its six
years of publication, Screw has acquired
а kind oj semivespectable reputation
among the lecherati as the paper of record
on sexual phenomena, however eccentric:
Hs list of subscribers includes 122 college
libraries and the Library of Gon
well ax such celebrities as Sammy Davis
Jr., Gore Vidal and Judith Crist.

“Afler ту review of ‘Deep Throat; it
became а huge hit. Later I interviewed
Linda. Then she went down on me. I ran
the photos and my description of it. It
was a paradigm of personal journalism.

Serew’s formula for success derives
from the duuzpah and kinky sexual
lastes of the 38-year-old Goldstein and

the unerring business instincts of his
pariner, 30-year-old Jim Buckley, both of
whom carn $1550-a-week salaries for

their efforts. When they met. Goldstein
had recently been fired from The Na
tional Mirror. a lurid sensationalist tab-
loid for which hed written some 1200
hiction-masquerading-as-jact stories. bear-
ing such headlines as “wire Ds up
CHILDREN, FEEDS THEM TO GOLDFISH” and
BARBER SHOVES SCISSORS UP. GIRLFRIEND'S
"At the lime, Buckley was edit-
ing a failing underground newspap
The New York Free Press, 10 which Gold-
slein submitted an article dealing with his
previous experiences in industrial espio-
mage. Thice months later. they decided
to pool their assels—a total of 5500—10
publish material that would pavallel the
unconventional sex life Goldstein was
leading and feeling guilty about.

Jn the annals of journalism, the imme-
diate impact of their merger was hardly
comparable to that of. say, Scripps and
Howard. Printed on the cheapest paper
possible, the first sue. of Screw consisted
of 12 pages of skin-flick reviews, frontal-
nudity photographs and tips on how to
buy the bes dirty
Square. The 7000-copy print run cost a
since Buckley did the type-

хозтки

books on Times

meager 521

"Screw. leads the league in tastelessness.
Our photos are filthier, our articles more
disgusting. Our stock in trade іх raw,
flailing sex. The word love is alien to us.
Who needs love? Yuch!”

selling and Goldstein supplied most of
the breezily sophomoric writing, That
issue's graphic illustrations, which in-
cluded a woman provocatively holding a
salam and another woman seated on a
man’s penis, were lifted from UPA. files,
The National Mirror and a pornographic
mailorder circular, When shocked dis-
Lributors refused to supply Screw to news
dealers. Goldstein himsell civentated the
25-‹ет paper by bicycle and subway,
sweettalking his way ото 24 newsstands.
“We didn't know we had а hit Jor a long,
long time” he recalled later. “We always
thought cach month, then each year,
would be the last ane.”

Bejore his breakthrough with Screw,
Goldstein's life and times—a pathetic
combination of sexual. professional and
social frustrations—would have fascinated
most analysts and, in fact, have already
heen heard by ten therapists over the
past 19 years. His case history starts with
the embarrassing stutter that plagued him
until he was 12. А year later, as he tells
who'll listen—he began
masturbating regularly and relentlessly.
His loss of virginity at 16 was arranged
by his family and consummated in a
hotel room with his uncle's girlfriend. АТ
17, he says he brooded constantly about
whether to kiss dates good night on their
doorstep or rape them behind the bushes.
Пу 18, he boasted the largest collection

ite anyone

‘CHARLES W, BUSH
“My partner, Jim Buckley, feels that I'm.
a clown, an exhibitionist, a dangerous
menace to society, that I should be hosed
down and thrown а pound of raw meat
before 1 go 10 bed at night.”

PLAYBOY

of pornography in his Williamsburg,
Brooklyn, neighborhood —much of it lib-
erated from his father's bureau drawer.
By 19, he claims he was spending most of
his time with hookers, and soon after his
20th birthday he contracted a case of clap
while serving in the Army.

During а period of uncharacteristic
stability and serious-mindedness in his
mid-20s, Goldstein worked asa press pho-
lographer for The New York Mirror and
later, as а part-time. freelancer, covered
Jacqueline Kennedy's 1962 visit to Paki-
stan, a tour of Moscow by four American
governors and Chi Guevara's speech-
making punditry in Havana—where a
misunderstanding caused him to be ar-
rested and jailed for [our days and his film
to be confiscated. Then, at 27, after a
whirlwind courtship, he took time out
from his catch-ascatch-can career to
elope with Lonni Leavitt—a 19-year-old
student whose family bitterly opposed
the marriage. To achieve the measure of
rectitude he thought his in-laws required,
Goldstein abandoned photography and
Jor two years became a crackerjack life-
insurance salesman, ranking 13th out of
5000 colleagues at Mutual of New York.
But he hated wearing a tie and suit, and
finally resigned. The marriage itself
ended abruptly one day їп 1965—after
two and a half years—when, Goldstein
says, he returned to his apartment and
jound the furniture gone, his suits
slashed by a knife and Louni's wardrobe
and personal effects missing. “Is prob-
ably the closest 1 ever came to wanting to
kill myself,” he told one of his analysts.

Goldstein soon discovered that the
thousands of dollars of credit-card bills
he claimed were run up by his estranged
wife—which he was unable to pay—had
ruined his credit rating and consequent-
ly his ability to obtain steady employ-
ment. For three months, using a micro-
phone to hustle customers, he ran a
1еп-сепі-а-рисћ carnival-midway game al
the 1965 New York World's Fair. After
making unsuccessful stabs ai selling en-
cyclopedias and rugs, and working as а
contact man for а pharmaceutical com-
pany, he went on welfare for a ycar and,
to make ends meet, sold his blood on five
occasions.

In desperation, Goldstein finally land-
ed а $200-a-week job as an industrial spy,
infiltrating Bendix Corporation assem-
bly lines in Long Island City and Elmira,
New York. He was required to file regu-
lar reports analyzing the mood of his fel-
low workers prior to a union election—
or, to put it more bluntly, he was finking
on his buddies had terrible guilt about
prostituting myself this way,” he told his
shrink. “I figured 1 had scen such injus-
tice in my own life, that Га been fucked
around so often, that I might as well fuck
other people. And I needed the money."
Meanwhile, in the wake of his divorce,
becoming panicky about being alone, he
was making eight and nine dates a week,

along with numerous backups. After a se-
ries of abysmal failures on the singles-bar
scene, he tried computer dating—wiih
indifferent luck—and ultimately began
contacting correspondence clubs, most of
which turned out to be phonies. Of the
54 women he addressed in four months,
there were only two responses—bolh
from hookers.

At was while he was trying yet another
job, driving a cab, thal he met Mary Phil-
lips, a blue-eyed blonde stewardess from
Charleston, South Carolina, who eventu-
ally became his second wife. “I married
her bigamously so I could fly Pan Am to
Hong Kong at 90 percent discount,” he
insists. When he and Buckley formed
Milky Way Productions, the incorpora-
tion articles were placed in Mary's
name—to avoid any legal hassle from his
fast wife's attorneys. After Mary divorced
Goldstein 16 months later, he said, “One
reason 1 love her so much is that she had
the intelligence to walk out on me.”
Today, they remain such good friends
that Mary frequently baby-sits with Jor-
dan Ат Goldstein—the middle name is
homage to Ari Onassis—a_nine-pound,
13-оипсе baby born last May to Gena, his
third wife. Goldstein's unique birth an-
nouncement, the parody of a Screw cover
showing Gena nursing their child, bore
these come-on headlines: “TALES FROM
THE CRIB!” THE DIRT ON DIAPERS!”
“BREAST-CRAZY KIDS!” "WATER SPORTS FOR
BEGINNERS!” Disenchanted a Jew wee
later, Goldstein told his latest analyst, “1
don't know if I like being а father. The
hid has already taken over one room of
our Jour-room apartment and точ of my
wife's altention. When I want to fuck, 1
to make an appointment.”

The romance of Goldstein and the for-
mer Gena Fishbein, then a 29-year-old
grade school teacher, began with а blind
date to a relatively sedate nonsex movie,
Roman Polansk?s Playboy production of
“Macbeth.” Her late father had been a
Screw subscriber, but she knew of Gold-
stein only vaguely, remembering little
more than television footage of him being
arrested. Like Gena's father, Goldstein
admits he has turned ош to be а pig-
headed, stubborn, fascist head of the
household. But somehow, possibly be-
cause Gena participates in group therapy,
their marriage has survived 22 mercurial
months.

To further plumb the depths of Gold-
stein's frenetic psyche, we assigned Con-
tributing Editor Richard Warren Lewis,
who had interviewed him last year as part
of a “Playboy Panel" on “New Sexual
Lifestyles.” His report:

“When 1 talked with Goldstein the last
time, the setting was his 14th Street Man-
hattan office, where a stuffed and mount-
ed shark with а halfeaten dildo in its
mouth hangs from the ceiling, the breasts
on a wooden torso of a woman light up
when his private phone rings and the

buttocks of а mannequin protrude from
underneath a refrigerator—while а pro-
cession of hookers (some of whom he
impulsively balls on the wall-to-wall
carpeting), dirty-book writers, nude mod-
els, hustlers and con artists passes by his
desk.

his time, fortunately, Goldstein had
decided to flee the fear and loathing that
were plaguing him in Manhattan—
where he had spent the previous wee
end test-firing а .38-caliber pistol. and
writing letters demanding police protec-
tion in anticipation of the feedback from
a forthcoming series of articles on Mafia
infiltration into pornography. Seeking a
respite in the Southern California sun,
he carried with him a bound volume en-
compassing Screw's first year, sheaves of
copies of letters and clippings detailing
his latest escapades and two lape-record-
ing devices into which he periodically
dictated material for his soon-to-be-
published autobiography, ‘The Prince of
Рот.” And, as usual, he was complaining
about his corpulence. Weighing a mere
185 pounds when he married Gena, his
"S" frame had ballooned to an endo-
morphic 242 before slimming down to its
present 216.

«Тһе only exercise 1 get these days is
fucking, Goldstein said. Clearly, he must
have been doing a lot of that lately, since
he had just won a TV set equipped with
three screens in a weight-loss wager with
Lyle Stuart, publisher of his autobiogra-
phy. Still, he couldn't resist wolfing
down а sausage-and-mushroom pizza and
a couple of ice-cream cones before we
began talking on а cantilevered deck
overlooking downtown Los Angeles. As
Goldstein languished in the sun, chcerily
reminiscing through his bound volume of
Screws as if it were a family album, it
semed appropriate to begin by dis
cussing their provocative contents.”

PLAYBOY: Why is Screw more successful
than the other dirty und und news-

papers that flood the market?
GOLDSTEIN: Because we lead the league in
tastelessness. use our photographs

re morc dis-
п theirs. We make no effort to
tistic. Our photography are so explic-
it the readers can see the come running
from a girl's mouth. Our stock in trade
‘othing is left t0 the
ination. We review and rate stag
movies, gay movies, fuck books,
lesque, topless bars, model studios, health
and leisure spas—otherwise known as
age parlors. We're like Consumer
Reports, except that our interests go far
beyond toasters and compact cars. The
word love is alien to us. Who needs love?
Yuch! We deal with m; rbation, the
most common ty for most
people. in graphic words and pictures.
We offer heavy doses of heterosexuality,
lesbianism and male homosexuality. The
most important factor of all is that we

bur-

sex

— © |

Win a Gourmet holiday in Europe
with a One Dish Supper Recipe.

reciation of last year's nationwide respons: DUM, osthe listing of ingredients and proper measurements and the clarity
Seagrams VO. Canadian whisky and Gourmet Magazine of directions
gi апо : :
present the 2nd annual Seagrams V.O. International. „3, 4. All entries will first be reviewed by Creative Food Service, Inc.

Recipe Competition. А once-in-a-lifetime
chance for your favorite "One Dish Sup-
per" recipe to win an all-expense paid

of first-class travel and gourmet dining in
the great restaurants of London. Paris and
Rome.

Your "One Dish Supper” recipe must be
original and unique, aspecialtycreated by
you ina single dish or pot. Whether its
casserole, goulash, ragout, stew or any
other "One Dish Supper; your recipe
should be a one-of-a-kind creation, like
Seagrams V.O..wwithatastes

like V.O. your recipe

any part of the world

the recipe. Dish or por size, temperature, and time for cooking
and preparing must also be included, as well as yield in terms
of number and size of servings

Gourmet cookbooks will be awarded to the 25 semi-finalists S:
This years 5 finalists will spend January 22-24, 1975 in Montreal.
Canada, as guests of Joseph E. Seagram & Sons, Inc. This will
include deluxe hotel accommodations, first-class airfare, activi- ќе
ties, evening meals, all for two persons, and $300 cash to cover finali
incidentals. The contest winner will be announced at a dinner
pany in one of Montreals finest restaurants.

The 25 prize-winning recipes from last years contest have
been assembled into The Seagrams У.О Hors d'Oeuvre Recipe
Book. This free book is available upon request by writing to
V.O. Hors d'Ocuvre Recipe Book, P.O. Вох 5068, Hicksville,
New York 11816.

Contest rules and regulations:

1. Your single recipe entry must be typed or written legibly in ink, and |
mustinclude your name and address

2. Each contestant will be limited toa single entry

3. All entries will be judged on the basis cf originality and taste as well

CANADIAN WHISKY—A BLEND OF SELECTED WHISKIES. 6 YEARS OLD. 86.6 PROOF, SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CD., А.С.

which will select the 1,000 best recipes. Gourmet Magazines panel of
» experts will select the 25 semi-finalists, 5 finalists and the ulti-
mate winner. The decisions of the judges will be final

i N X Finalists and semi-finalists will be notified on or before
holiday for two in Europe: fourteen days /
г December 31. 1974.
MES ho

LE cn

5. Employees cf Joseph E. Seagram & Sons, Inc.
g and affiliates, retailers and wholesalers of alco-
holic beverages, Creative Food Service, Inc.,

Gourmet Magazine, their advertising agencies

and their immediate families are not eligible for

this contest. Entrants must be of legal drinking
age in state of residence.

6. The all-expense paid European Holiday for the

winner and guest includes deluxe accommodations,
first class airfare, evening meals, airport transfers, and
00 cash to cover incidentals and miscellaneous meals.
tels will be selected by Joseph E. Seagram & Sons, Inc
All accommodatiors will be double occupancy,
То qualify, your "One Dish Supper" entry must list all the 7. This contest is void in states or localities whe
ingredients and proper measurements in order of use, and give restricted by law
clear directions for your methodofcombining and/orcompleting 8. Tobe eligible for judging, all entries must be postmarked no later than
midnight, November 15, 1974. None will be returned. All entries become
the property of Joseph E Seagram & Sons, Inc. who will have the right
to use the names and likenesses of all finalists and the ultimate winner
for advertising. publicity and promotional purposes.
xpense paid holiday must be taken within the calendar year
975. The winner must give Joseph E. Seagram & Sons, Inc. at least 60
days prior written notice of the intended departure date In case of for-

illegal or otherwise

И be awarded to the runner-up cut of the 5 contest

asselected by Gourmet Magazines panel of experts. There will be

no duplicate or substitute prizes. In case of dupli-
cate entries, the entry bearing the earliest postmark

will be eligible for pi

MAIL YOUR RECIPE ENTRY TO:
Gourmet Holiday

Dept. L, Р.О. Box 300
Church Street Station
New York, New York 10046

Seagram's
Ге First Canadian

А в т øA

` - \ v by ^ M
` 3 "WC. E т Unda 314 “adeeb ай “ag Sunc бш
z NSS E ван Jn0 01 зполабие sı Buryows anavebig jeu]
Ç pəuiwsarag sey jeiauag uoafuns ayy :бищем
: А A
B N
- м < >

PLAYBOY

know our kinky audience—those who've
been overlooked by other publications. If
we had the money to conduct a comprc-
hensive survey, I'm certain we'd find a
preponderance of foot. fetishists, ass fuck-
pederasts, onanists, sadomasochists
rest of the denizens of the s

sympathize with, because they're just as
horny as Г am. Its for these people th
we print pictures of dykes going down on
cach other, 300-pound hookers, a guide
10 smut in the Library of Congress, por-
nographic puzzles, instructions on how te
give deep throat and what purports to be
à photograph of Golda Meir's old Jewish
cunt.

PLAYBOY: How can such a raunchy publi-
cation stay in business?

GOLDSTEIN: We've had some close calls.
Screw is so vile and ugly in its unrelent-
ing eflorts to achieve sexual candor that
I've been arrested ten 1
dealers ha
130 occasions. We ntly delend-
g our First Amendment rights. Law-
enforcement agencies сап harass us, but
they'll never stop us. If necessary, we'll
just keep on paying fines. Some of our
scariest confrontations, though, havent

been with the law at all but with pr
citizens.
PLAYBOY: What do you mean?

in the mail every week. 1 even got
death tape with a guy yelling how he w.
gonna strangle me because I was so vile,
I was corrupting America, and only a
Jew could stoop so low.
PLAYBOY: Have these teats prompted
ny special security precautions:
GOLDSTEIN: Not until recently. Now I have
а parttime bodyguard, а burglar alarm,
bulletproof glass in the office and 1 wear
a bulletproof vest. Somebody told me 1
should get a bulletproof jockstrap, to
protect the real heart of my existence. All
these new precautions are the result of
something that happened just a couple of
months ago, when we were terrorized by
two gunmen. The Trojan horse was
somebody knocking on the door and
saying that he was delivering food and
coltee. I said, "Let him in." It was really
Pavlovian; mention food to me and the
doors open wide. So in walked two guys
pul . Next thing I know, one
guy's got a gun. pointed at me and he's
throwing some people on the floor. I had
a shotgun in my office, but I didn't reach
lor it—because my immediate reaction
was that it was an obscenity arrest. Only
when 1 started getting shoved around and
heard one of the guys saying, “Us guineas
are tired of what you been writing about
the Fan did I realize this was some-
thing more serious and dove for the floor
in front of my desk. It was sacrilege, like
violating a shrine; on the same place I've.
come so many times, I almost went.
There were 15 of us piled two and three
high. several staffers and some hookers

and pimps who had just dropped into
the office to place their ads. We were
told to remove our jewelry and hand
over our wallets and purses. 1 was afraid
1 was gonna die, but all 1 could think
about was this very expensi

1 оп. а $2500 Pulsar. L's the only gold
thing 1 own. And besides, it was essential
to my profession as a critic. For some
time I'd been using it to time the inter-
vals between sex scenes in fuck films. 5o
I slipped the watch under my shirt.
Then, when I was dragged up by the hair,
ha gun jammed ар
watch slid down my shirt and into my
pants leg. I kicked it under a hooker who
was lying next to me. Later I told her she
could have a years free advertising in
Screw for shielding my watch with her
body. One gunman kept slamming ше
imo the wall and repeaung, “You're
gonna have to stop writing about us.” I
looked at the gun, which was at my
temple, and. visualized what it would be
like to be pistol-whipped. Some of my
stallers—who are imo — masochism—
probably would have come three or Io:
Not me. 1 reached into my pants
pocket and gave them my last $20 bill.
PLAYBOY: In the long run, isn’t your live-
lihocd—if not your life—more seriously
threatened by recent Supreme Court deci
sions that allow

most any local citizens’
group to haul you into court for violating
community standards of obscenit
GOLDSTEIN: The prosecutors will still find it
difficult to shut us down. Half of our cir-
culation is in New York City, whose con-
ndards_ per
hard-core films, dildo stores, dirty book-
shops and hookers walking the streets.
The other 50 percent is spread out among
such as San Francisco, Los
Angeles, Atlanta, Boston, Dallas and С]
vo. | we're busted in any of these
locales, we'll just ask for jury trials, and
I'm sure we'll be vindicated. We've never
had any circulation in those Neandertl
areas of the South and Southwest where
lante committees are most likely to be
formed. So Supreme Court or no Supreme
Cour, Screw will probably get even
dirtier.
PLAYBO!
dirtier?
GOLDSTEIN: Well, you know those perfume
ds—when you scratch the surface, you
get a whiff of cologne? 1 would love to
have а centerfold that you could scratch.
and smell pussy. While awaiting that
milestone in publishing, we'll expand on
our outrageous reputation by running a
how-todoit article by a most unusual
rl I recently met. Gerry Damiano, the
porn film maker who made Deep Throat
plans to use her in his n ic. She's
his new Linda Lovelace. Not only can
she give superb head but she sings while
she sucks. While my cock was going in
and out of her mouth, she sang How
Much Is That Doggie in the Window?

How could it possibly get any

PLAYBOY: On key?

GOLDSTEIN: Are you kidding? She's got a
voice like cl. This is a great rou-
tinc. If only Ed Sullivan were still on tele-
vision. Iı would really be terrific И she
and 1 694 while she was singing and 1
could sort of hum an accompaniment.
And then we have Honeysuckle I
Screw's ultimate woman. For the past
two y she's been writing а regular
column for us called “Diary of a Dirty
Broad," Honeysuckle is a stripper who
read an article we published two years
ago about a turmokthe-century French
vaudevillian whose act was mostly farting
to music. She was so impressed with what
you can train your ass to do that she went
on a selfimprovement program such as
man has never seen. I first saw Honeysuck.
le as I walked into Jim Buckley's office,
and there was this girl stand her
4 shooting Jergens Lotion across the
room—ejaculating it from her pussy onto
the wall 19 feet away. 1 thought that was
unbelievably disgusting, so naturally, we
made her our symbol—like the Playboy
Rabbit. We've sold 10,000 calendar post
ers of her spr way that
would even a gynecologist.

For every month on this calendar, by
the days she has her period are
in red. The days when she's
probably got the «ар are printed in
black. She is without а doubt the most
unhygicnic mass of femininity I've ever
encountered. She's а one-woman slum.
Among her unique talents is putting а
broom in her cunt and sweeping the
floor. She also uses her cunt to play the
saxophone and blow out candles. Honey-
suckle is so dirty even Z wouldn't touch
her, She's always got some sort of ooze

percolating in her box. She would keep
an army of 19 shrinks so busy that they'd

need shrinks to take care of them. But
you know something? She's a sweet, nice,
alm innocent kind of creatur nd
she's the only person on the ма who
calls me Mr. Goldstei
PLAYBOY: Another
you've featured
nique Van Cleel,
you called her. W
to this story?
GOLDSTEIN: Г: terested in anything
dealing with especially farout sex prac
tices. In all the years I've been involved
with Screw, the weirdest day I ever spent
wa her home in The Hague. 1 had
seen The Balcony and read а lot about
Monique, but I didn't know much about
dominance and bondage, which are h
specialties. Her whole trip is humili
tion. She locks people in closets, pisses on
them, hangs guys upside down from ће
ankles and utilizes pain devices th
tighten around the testicles. Monique's
place looked like a three
Gestapo com
PLAYBOY: And you were only a spectator?
GOLDSTEIN: No: for a short while, 1 became
one of the side shows. Monique ordered

bizarre personality
n the newspaper is Mo-
the torture lady," as
t was your attraction

g circus from

ndant’s dr

My
ve a oe

Heineken-

het fijnste bier —_
van Holland-is het
meest geimporteerde

bier in Amerika-‘1

omdat Heineken zo heerlijk smaakt.

Exclusive U.S. Importers: Van Munching & Co., N.Y., N.Y

PLAYBOY

me to get down and kiss her on the foot.
"Then she put me in the pillory and man-
aded my hands and legs. Milton Berle
might have gotten into the French maid's
outfit lor the occasion, but 1 passed on
that. I would have felt ridiculous. Any-
way, eventually she spanked ше. But I
was relieved to report in my story that 1
didn't get a hard-on. Even so, it was а cir-
culation builder.
PLAYBOY: How successful were the Jac
queline Onassis nudes you published а
couple of years ago?
GOLDSTEIN: [hat was onc of our mile-
stones, It was а new record sold
530,000 copies at 75 cents apiece. It’s the
only issue we ever had to print twice—
despite the fact thar all the publicity
about it was by word of mouth. We tried
to promote that issue, but Variety, Wom-
en's Wear Daily, The New York Review
of Books, New York magazine and The
New York Times turned. our ads down
In the copy accompanying the photo
graphs, we called Jackie “the world’s
richest pussy.” The pictures were full
frontal nudes shot on the island of Skor-
pios with an extra-long lens. You can
dearly see Jackies big bush and hard-
nosed tits.
PLAYBOY: Do you think it was Lair to in.
vade her private life that way?
ve private lives? Do
we private lives? 1 don't
can invoke Executive priv
private comments.
PLAYBOY: But Jackie's neither ап actress
nor a politician.
GOLDSTEIN: 1 embrace the papara:
losophy. Everything is fai
duding a connover
figure such as Jackie Oi
ked her to walk around n
late her symbolically wi
phs, pulling her down to
p thinking back to

phi-
in

T wanted to у
those photog:
my ovn level, I ki
the time 1 accompanied Jackie t0 Ра
1 as a photographer, when she was м
Mrs. Kennedy. 1 was sweaty and hot, but
she was always so immaculate, so impec
cable. She never had diarrhea, because
she drank only water flown in from the
United States. Fm certain there were
some destructive components in my mot
vation, but we were the only Amer
publication that had the guts то run
those photos.

Movic
“the hidden se beth Taylor” —
which turns out to be ihat whe
was nine years old, she didn't
dress she wanted —are the ultimate
off. They don't deliver; they're to
Tull of shit. Serew really delivers. When
we ballylioo nude photos of Jackie Onassis,
we have nude photos. There's a pavoff on
ide. This is where we've Попе
ybe 97 percent of the time.

thar

promise you

PLAYBOY: What about the other three
perc
GOLDSTEIN: ГИ joke around. е offer

а special introductory bargain subscrip-
tion rate, 11 issues for 59.95, which costs
more than our regular rate. Or the time
I printed splashy ads announcing the
opening of a nonexistent massage parlor,
exclusively for women, called The Gold-
cn Tongue Salon. The copy promised
that the greatest, most agile and
powerful tongues would be assembled to
satisfy women in a plush setting, that
there would be men whose cocks were so
strong you could hang ten umbrellas on
them. Since so many women like the idea
of going to bed with blue-collar workers,
we said the men would be dressed in blue
ad that The Golden Tongue would re-
semble a police station, The address and
phone number we published were actu-
ally those of the police station on 515
Street. When the real police answered.
we figured would-be customers would
think it was part of the gimmick, The ad
ran for five weeks and the wouble started
when the cops’ wives began complaini
1 don't think the cops themselves were
all that upset, because when my secretary
illed the station. amd said she'd like 10
ike an appointment Гога massage, they
told her to come on down, And I under-
stand а lot of the boys in blue asked to
islerred to that precinct during the
ad campaign. But finally D got arrested
on one of the dumbest charges ever filed
aginst me—harassing a police station.
Outside of а nal jokes like thar
our hype is always up front: unlike the
movie-scandal zines, Screws most
conservative section is the outside, Irs
the only part that's not dirty. We don't
want to offend innocent. passers-by. 1
опт prick on the
cover, because I might be busted for pan
dering. ГИ use the word ass as in
“Teaching Your Ass New Tricks.” “cause
it could mean your burro. And pussy 1
can get h. because it might be a
cat. That's the only part of the paper
where I show any reticence at all. Once
we've vamped the reader on the caver, we
lure him inside. then grab him by the balls
and hold him for the remaining 47 pages.
PLAYBOY: Who is the Screw reader?
GOLDSTEIN: A demographic study weve
done indicates that the percentage ol col-
lege graduates who read Scr
major distribu is second only to
The New Yorker's. But unless you're very
much into the sexual market pla
10 films, fuck books and massage stu-
body reading
усаг. Because in
would have read
hing we have to say. We'd
g ourselves.
How do you

most

se the word c

w, in our

ce of

only be repe
PLAYBOY:
problem?
GOLDSTEIN: We actually have Wednesday
morning staff conferences at which we'll
talk for hours about what sex acts we
haven't done lately. We've run articles on
how to cat pussy better, how to lick

handle that

assholes, how men shouldn't be uptight if
their girlfriends put а finger or a vibra
tor up their ass. We've covered the cunt
from. every angle imaginable—inserting
the nose, the elbow. How many syni
posiums can | print on how to suck
cock? After six years. it’s brutally hard—

or should T say soft? We have to repack-
ge our product more often than the
the

automobile manufa qns
sime problem any other
has—and surely Screw is а house org
any way you want to look at it. I doubt
whether a new fucking position has been
developed in 4000 yea
constant. vari:
dreaming up different set
micks—like making it on a trampoline or
punting an apple in your partuer’s
mouth while vou fuck her in the ass

We have an article coming up by a girl
who insists that big cocks make а diller-
ence. I'm sure tharll be
meone else saying th
he fun, too. Wh:

. but we need

ions. so we improvise by

s or gim.

followed. by

se 1 cocks cau

1 sm
wever side of the bed
we're on. we'll turn the mattress over and
get another angle. Irs not always c:
Considering what colossal {ас Кой we a
We once ran а “Pick the Prick” contest.
lor which six of us from Screw were sup
posed to be photographed with cocks
volt, then hard. The iched
the hard and soft cocks to photos of our
faces would win Screw T-shirts. The photo
session that produced the pictures for this
layout was a farce: There we were, six
guys standing together naked, like а
bunch of kids ready to play doctor—only
there were no nurses, Nobody could get
1. our stall is incredibly
is am operation—except for

vaders who

sophomoi

mc. of course.
PLAYBOY: You тели you're the only ma-
une employee of Screw? What about
Buckley?

GOLDSTEIN: Buckley who?
PLAYBOY: Your partnei—
GOLDSTEIN: You mean
New York? You'd be
up that accusation.
PLAYBOY: C'mon, Al.
GOLDSTEIN: OK. OK. I've had и partner for
мх years named Jim Buckley. Not. the
Senator. When 1 met my Buckley, he was
the only member of the underground
press who owned stock. He doesn't spend
опеу. He doesn't Шу like a
diver. He's a lovely, sweet man—hut
he's а repressed Catholic; which means
that he's monogamous. He d
around. He's never been 10 an orgy
ned down а blow job from

m Buckley.
the Senator Бот
er be able то back

e. He's rea

once

Lovelace. What a disgrace! This man
would be happier in the Vatican. He's

| to the whole
m, I don't bc

my cross to bear,
1 field. But v
rew would have been successful
n urge for self-destruction, 1
would have been out of business by the
third issue.

im's very stable, very structured: he's

sexu

With my oi

Ask yourself these intimate questions made up of isolated dots and slots. But Trinitron
Have you ever caught yourself looking for- has an Aperture Grille. So the picture is made
ward to a show, a movie, a sports event? up of unbroken stripes
Is it important that ycu get a crisp, bright The fine tuning is automatic, the color ad-
picture, sharply focused? justment is automatic, and like all Sonys, it's all
Do you mind if the guy next door gets a — solid-state circuitry.
better picture? Obviously, Trinitron is much easier to ap-

If you answer, "Yes," we believe youre in ргесіаіе than to explain. That's why we've
the market for a Trinitron? and its unique one- written a 12-page pamphlet to explain it. To get

gun, one-lens system one please write us, or stop in at a Sony dealer.
Trinitron is not like any color set you can Is Trinitron worth the extra money?
buy. Picture or price. The picture you see on Our professional feeling is never to com-
other sets is projected through three small promise if you don't have to.
lenses. Trinitron uses one large lens. The larger Compromises have a tendency to come
the lens, the less the distortion. back and haunt you
Also the picture you see on other sets is Like every evening when you turn it on

DOES IT PAY TOBUY
A TELEVISION SET THIS GOOD?

Model KV-1920 Trinitron. 19" measured diagonally. Narrow, space-saving cabinet

PLAYBOY

not comfortable with people. He's also
unhappy that 1 get the publicity. We
own Screw 50-50, and yet Jim is an un-
known—even to hi vile and f у.
Screw is reilly an extension of me. Buck-
ley feels that I'm а down, an exhibition
ist. a dangerous menace to society. that Т
should be hosed down and thrown a
pound of raw meat before 1 go to bed at
ight. J feel that my exuberance, my
pionee incts are what we need in
Serew's pages. If we were to have an ex-
tension of Buckley's personality i
c, we'd have a blank notebor
In the pages of Screw, I've accused В
of being a latent homosexual—wh
bly has something 10 do with his
Catholic
happy in the alla
for three y Jim would
make а wonderful faggot. I have а genu-
ine, deep respect for him, but I ca
ceive of a man who doesn't fuck
given the opportunities he has. That's
why he's a subject of constant ridicule for
me. He's also thin, attractive and—whiat
makes me angriest—his cock is bigger
than mine.

PLAYBOY: How do you know?

GOLDSTEIN: We once had replicas of our
cocks made of Lucite, J have mine on dis-
play in my house, properly placed on the
mantel, with high-imensity illumination,
My wife and I fight about that a lot.
When her mother is coming over, she
wants me to hide it. Of course, 1 refuse.
I'm very proud of my cock, even though
Iwish it were larger.

PLAYBOY: Why?

GOLDSTEIN: It stands to reason that if there
are enough men who covet big boobs,
there's going to be an equivalent percent-
age of women who care about big cocks.
A lot of men—including mc—would like
to believe it’s not how large your cock is
but how you use it. But I think th
bullshit. Г know two guys who are big in
sex films—Marc Stevens and Harry
Reems, and both of them have outra-
geously large cocks, They fuck their
ns out with women who want to be
balled by a big and famous dick. I feel
sorry lor № ise that’s all he is—a

Navy

Morgan h 73-inch boobs;
they hang down so far th
tesque. But our readers are fascinated
by them. There will always be a market
for side shows. Linda Lovelace proves
it

PLAYBOY: Linda Lovelace may have been
Screu's most important. discovery. How
did you happen upon her
GOLDSTEIN: I discovered Linda just doing
my job. The people who owned the
World Theater in New York City told
me they had a great fuck film they want-
cd me to sce. At first, they thought the
title might be The Sword Swallower, but

they were afraid newspaper айу
ing departments would refuse to run
that title. The alternative, Decp Throat,
seemed innocuous enough.

So I went to review the film, and I w
suddenly confronted with Linda Love-
lace onscreen. She had a lot going—or
should 1 say coming?—for her. She was
lovely, thin, young and fresh. Most of the
women in fuck films have pimples on
their es or are uncommonly lat. Ве-
cause I have а weight problem. I like very
thin women, My current wife weighs 99
pounds. I mean, I like them emaciated.
Deep Throat was cute; it moved along.
It had music. It | . But mostly it
had Lin a brilliant. cocksucker.
While I was writing my review. | couldn't
forget the come pouring out of the corner
ol her mouth as she sucked Ha
cock. Her enthusiasm and her vitality
were wonderful. 1 hung on that
film that I got H hard-ons. I gave Deep
Throat 100—е maximum score—on the
Peter-Meter, our yardstick service to read-
on the erotic content of movies. 1
wrote the most laudatory review I'd ever
written—dealing with this дїї who
sucked cock. But 1 never mentioned her
name in the review, probably for the
same reason I bought Rolls-Royce stock
before it went into bankruptcy. 1 didn't
realize Linda would be a star.

PLAYBOY: What effect did the Screw re-
view have on Deep Throat’s popularity?
GOLDSTEIN: Before my review, the film
pened and closed in California in four
days, After my review, it quickly became
a huge hit in New York,
house records. Five weeks later
who owned the World Th
if 1 wanted to interview Linda.

He
thought it would be good for business. 1

said, "Jesus, sure, ГА love to meet her;

We met in a small, cold, $17-a-night hotel
room, and it was the most difficult inter-
view I ever conducted, because she's real-
ly inarticulate. Chuck Traynor, then her
husband and “ma » most of the
talking. Alter the interview, I said, “Lis-
ten, Га like you to suck my cock." I fig-
ured she was just a hooker anyway, so I
wasn't embarrassed. She said fine, Chuck
said OK, and she blew me. My parmer,
Jim Buckley, photographed this summit
meeting. 1 van the photos of her sucking
my cock and my description of
а par: of personal jou
PLAYBOY: : What was it like?

GOLDSTEIN: | felt very alienated, There I
was with the world’s greatest cocksucker,
and yet it was a lonely experience. I w
sweating. She was hot. But it was fals
because it was not spontaneous. ] have
an average-size cock of about seven inch-
es, and the fact that it disapp
her throat interfered with my concentra-
tion. | kept thinking: Am I that small? Is
she that good? Should I come now? My
attention kept wandering. She was sitting
on my face in a 69 position, and as I was

d down

cating her, I knew I wasn't bringing her
any pleasure. 1 was feeling very selfish, so
L asked, “You don't really come this way,
do you" She said, "Yeah, 1 come.” It
finally dawned on me that this was a
nonmonetary gift from thc distributors
for my review. So then I was able to just
come in a detached sort of But it
was like working. I felt like a hooker fak-
ing an orgasm with a John. I left there
feeling sad.

PLAYBOY: Still, was the experience differ-

ent from making it with any other
>

w
GOLDSTEIN: То tell the truth, it was а nov-
епу. I had never fucked а woman in the
mouth like that before. It seemed so hos-
tile. And I remember cating her pussy—
which was hairless, something 1 don't
particularly like. As I looked up. while
she was moving up and down, I saw she
Joose-fitting chemise. As the
chemise blew away from her body, 1 no-
ticed scar tissue all down her chest. Sud-
denly. Г realized why I never saw Linda
naked in Deep Throat. The director 1
to shoot around her scar. Until then, I
was getting off on seeing her in the che-
nise, ‘cause I like a woman in clothing.
105 so much more exciting than a woman
totally naked. But those scars turned me
off a litle.

What was the reaction to
photographs of Linda servicing

you?

GOLDSTEIN: My wife hated them. The read-
ers loved them. After the Lovelace story
appeared, 1 began running anything I
could find about Linda. She was my star.

She was my Marilyn Monroe. If I were а
faggot. she would have been my Judy
Garlmd. Anything she did was news.
Some friends of mine found some cight-
millimeter films Linda had made before
Deep Throat—movies where she gets
fucked by a dog and gets pissed on. I ran
the stuf and Linda and Chuck got terri-
bly angry. I tried to explain to them that
anything she did was news. Apparently,
they felt that being a cocksucker was
news, but to be fucked by animals—that
was too kinky to be published. So I be-
came the enemy. Two of her friends,
managers or whatever you want to label
them, called me up and said they were
going to break my legs.
PLAYBOY: It’s surprising that nobody from
the A.S.P.C_A. called-
GOLDSTEIN: They probably would just
have asked if the dog was happy and who
had custody of the puppies. Anyway,
Linda was making tours, people kept ask-
ing her about these photos. She told
them they were fakes, 2 composite. She
said the same thing in her autobiogr
phy. Well, we have the original movics,
and Гуе sued her for $250,000. As I som
times jokingly say, we're going to have
the dog testify.

Linda's book, Inside Linda Lovelace,
came out almost 12 months to the day

Taste Windsor instead.

Taste Canada's smoothest whisky and you may never go back to your usual whisky.
Windsor is the only Canadian made with hardy Western Canadian grain, water from
glacier-fed springs and aged in theclear dry air of the Canadian Rockies.

E 2 E
Your friends will enjoy the distinctive
difference Windsor Canadian makes
in their favorite whisky drinks,

CANADIAN WHISKY —A BLENO + 80 PROOF + IMPORTEO BY NATIONAL OISTILLERS PROOUCTS CO. NEW YORK

The Windsor Old Fashioned.
In a handsorne rocks glass
muddle: 1 tsp. sugar, 2 dashes
bitters, and a splash of club
soda. Add 3 ice cubes and
pour in 2 oz. Windsor
Supreme Canadian Whisky.

Decorate with maraschino UR Af ac
cherry and orange slice. Swirl ea
= Sp)

entire mixture—gently press-
ing orange slice to the side of
the glass. Serve with pride.

WINDSOR

Wainy С геше
remarkably CANADIA

The Windsor Guardsman:

i r COP p Asuitable symbol for the
ш С СА Supreme Canadian.

^ BXEND
—————————À inf aen o lah wlihy
Maie ad Mod rn pei у

Lad

The smoothest
whisky ever to come
out of Canada!

PLAYBOY

after I met her in that hotel room. She
had a fancy press party in New York to
launch the book, I've never seen the
press more awe-struck. They were fight-
ing to get her autographed photo. Di
ing the party, Traynor called me over
and said there were grand juries that
were trying to nail her on the dog pho-
tos, that they had these big movie con-
tracts in the offing and that 1 should lay
off. Later, during a question-and-answer
period, I waved the photos and said, “In
these hands are photos of you, Linda,
being fucked by a dog.” She replied.
i Al Goldstein thrown out of tli
press conference" And three goons
threw me out. Only in America could a
cocksucker go so far. In the process, 1 be-
came а casualty, But Em still thrilled av
being party to her success.

PLAYBOY. You mentioned carlier that
Screw conducts extensive testing not only
of sex acts but of sex products. What are
some of these devices like?

GOLDSTEIN: First let me say that not only
are you dealing with the ultimate whore
in this society—the mail-order bu
you're dealing with a field that has no
safeguards, because the consumer is gi

ridden and apologetic about buying the
product. Screw fills that need by testing
and rating every sex product that comes
onto the market. In the first issue, I con-
sumer-tested an gina that sold
for $19.95. It was like a hairy pillow, with
a vibrator inside a hole. It was advertised
as а marital aid for spouses who were
having difficulty getting an erection, but
obviously, it was for guys who, instead of
renting pussy, felt that for $20 they could
have their own. I, for one, had trouble
getting а hardon; 1 had never tried to
fuck a pillowcase before. But | kept
thinking that it would be great to take
with you го а movie on a Saturday night,
since you'd only have to buy one ticket.
And you wouldn't have to worry about
bringing it home too late. And it
wouldn't have cunty comments to make
about your performance in bed. The fact
that this gadget sold meant that people
needed it or wanted it and so it was
= some consumer need. Most pub-
ons didn't even acknowledge its
existence.

The same thing with vibrators; even
Rexall's is selling vibrators these days. ОЁ
course, the displays show a woman with
the vibrator under the nape of her neck.
But you notice they never sell square vi-
brators; they're all cock-shaped. I
are also readily available. I've alwajs felt
some wise guy should invent a dildo with
а flashlight on the end so you won't get it
in the wrong hole if the lights are off. In
any case, the marketing of dildos is a
great step forward for middle i
them, since I've
d I hardly
the ass.

los

We have women test
n the ass а

never been fucked
ever fuck a woman

PLAYBOY: Why not?
GOlDSTEIN: Well, I will
wants it, but frankly, I th
Screw published а symposium on ass
Tucking—there were four men and four
won па none of the women admit-
ted liking it. The women acquiesced be-
cause the men liked it, but none of them.
came unless a finger was caressing the
clitoris at the same time. It seemed то be
more of an accommodation. In some way,
1 think of it as а violati 1 think its
sort of like spitting on a woman. The
faggots who work in my office, of course
feel completely differently. They say the
sphincter muscle is a great source of pleas-
ure. 1 would be ashamed to be fucked in
the ass; or maybe I'm just afraid I'd
like it.

PLAYBOY: How many of the sex products
rated by Screw do you test yoursel
GOLDSTEIN: [п the beginning, I tested all
of them. Now I've delegated a lot of stult
out, since some of the products represent
а health hazard and 1 figure that's what
my freelancers are here for, One of the
benefits of being a publisher is having
somebody else put his ass on the line
That's what happened with the Cock En
larger, the most dangerous product I've
ever scen. Anybody who buys something
like a cock stretcher has to be very naive
or exiremely gullible. This Rube Gold-
berg gadget is a dear-plastic tube about
five inches wide and 12 inches long
equipped with an exterior rubber bulb.
‘Theoretically, you would put your cock
into the tube and then press the rubber
gizmo to suck the air out of it. The pres.
sure change supposedly would enlarge
your cock. Well, all it did was cause little
air bubbles inside the tester's cock. There
was no enlargement. И he had really
been hurt badly, I wonder if he would
have been covered by workmen's com-
pensation. 1 could see him writing on the
insurance daim: “ГИ never fuck aga
Anyway, we rated the Cock Enlarger
not acceptable" and “dangerous to your
health.

PLAYBOY: По you continue to accept ad-
vertising lor products you find dangerous?
GOLDSTEIN: Why shouldn't 12 I don't want
to be a censor, like The New York Times
or The Village Voice, which, lor in
stance, won't accept ads for Screw.
PLAYBOY: We're talking about responsi-

И the woman
ak it's hostile.

the public's problem. Let them read our
ratings and find ont the real facts about
products like the Fuekamatic, as 1 call
it, which looks like a
er with a cock attached. 1t sells for
and probably costs eight dollars to make
You can carry it around from room to
room, plug it into any electrica] outlet.
What I like about it is its variable-speed
device; it'll fuck away at dillerent speeds,

like а spastic. When 1 tested it, 1 used it
on the girl I was seeing at the time. 51
liked it, but little wo
rough because it was difficult to angle
properly. You almost had to hold it
one hi
“not acceptable.

Another product we evaluated was
Accu-Jac—a fully automatic electric cock-
sucking machine that cost $119.95. This
elaborate device had dilierentsize sleeves
for diflerentsize cocks and twin inputs
powerful enough to make two guys com
simultancously. 1 was afraid to test i
so my ad m

she found it a

ad as it carried on, We rated it

ser and а Screw contribu-
tor were chosen. They both came. In fact,
they got so at they we
reluctant to give it back to me. When 1
saw they weren't electrocuted, I took it
into my office, dosed the door and tried
it myself. 1 came, but 1 had to look at
photos of women to do it. The machine
itself wouldn't even induce а hard-on.

hed 10 it t

PLAYBOY: Have you tested any other prod-
ucts yourself?
GOLDSTEIN: Different-shaped nich tick-

lers: Jile devices like rubbers that go
on the head of your cock. They're sort of
silly. When my cock French tickler
on it, it looks like it's wearing а clown's
hat. I also tested cock deadeners called
nduro and Prolong. They were sup-
posed to desensitize the head of your cock
We told the readers that there were medi-
ons on the market that do the same
ng at one tenth the price.
Something I did recommend was Auto-
Suck—a bargain at 519.95. It looks like a
nincinch vibrator, only it’s hollow; you
put your cock inside. And when you plug
it into your car's cigareite lighter, it vi-
brates. The theory is if you're driving
along or if you're stuck in traffic on the
throughway and you have nothing else to
do and the radio's boring, you may
well plug in the Auto-Suck and come. 1
tried it out one Sunday on the Brooklyn-
Queens Expressway, on the way to visi
my parents. Trafic wasn't heavy, but I
had trouble getting it up. Guys who are
really into Auto-Suck like to honk the
horn or flash their lights when they come.
But I was worried that if I came, I would
lose control—'cause that's one of the great
joys of coming.
PLAYBOY: Does AutoSuck have a war-
ranty?
GOLDSTEIN: Үс
two years, whiche
PLAYBOY: What elements contribute to
other Screw ratings—of a massage studio,
for example?
GOLDSTEIN: The ambience and, naturally,
the options available to the custome
When we evaluate studios, we aw:
them from zero to four cocks. Much of
our text is cuphemistic. I wish we could
say drat stu has a wonderful girl
who really gives a swell blow job. That

thi

i—5000 ejaculations «

er comes first.

Winston

tastes good like a cigarette should.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking ls Dangerous toYour Health. слата m. 4 nevnoLos товассо со
20 mg."tar", 1.3 mg nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAR. 74.

PLAYBOY

would help the reader. But it would also
help the cops close the place down.
PLAYBOY: Which of New York's mass
lors warrants the highest rating?

board. you'd find outside a
п tavern. H 1 had ter al cancer,
that’s where Га go to die, For 5100 you
get an hournd-a-half. champagne bath
with three sunken tub. The
champagne is Taylors New York State
ather than Мапи Cordon Roi but
who cares when it’s being poured over
your head and dribbling into your mouth
while these nude essing you
body and anointin;
15 just wondrously 5
PLAYBOY: What else do you get for $1002
GOLDSTEIN: That's it. И you w:
you've got to negotiate. If you're inter-
ested in a ménage à bois or a ménage à

ч.

qualre, you're t

S400. And you should tip the

apiece. One break is that they accept
BankAmericards, Fd also recommend

Relaxation Plus, the massage studio in
the Commodore Hotel. Fach of
rooms has a different motit. One of them
is decorated in а jungle setting that in-
dudes live parrots in a cage. There's also
а geisha house, a West bordello, a
200! spaceship, a sultan's den and a
Roman bath. The room I love best they
called the Al Goldstein Infinity Room.
That's not a plug, because I haven't yet
used it sexually. I want to lose weight be-
lore 1 do, because I'm not currently pre-
pared to look at myself in the four-wall
d ceiling mirrors.

PLAYBOY: Do you honestly think you'll
ever get slender enough to face that?
GOLDSTEIN: It may be hopeless. I'm com-
ink about
all ше time. Гус been known to
myself into such stomach camps that,
rather than an aphrodisiac, 1 need a
stomach pump—or a shot of morphine.
Which is ridiculous, because to me the
sensual pleasures of food and sex are al
most interchangeable. If I were a gow
met, which I'm not, I'd love to edit a
food magazine. Because people like James
Beard or the editor of Gourmet magazine
don’t upset anybody—except people on
diets. Whereas in the sex
whether you're a photographer or a hoo
er or a publisher—jou have to go over
ll kinds of hurdles. The Church it
veighs against you, pressure groups try
to put you out of business. Our society
made it much easier to satisfy your
senses through eating than through sex.
There's wemendous prejudice against fat
people, but they don't get arrested, just
cml sed.

PLAYBOY: If you've been too embarrassed
to use the Infinity Room, why was your
name attached to it?

pletely fucked up in food. 1 th

GOLDSTEIN: I guess because I'm synony-
mous with some quality control in this
field. It makes me feel like the Duncan
Hines of pervo.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever
zero
GOLDSTEIN: Sure.

PLAYBOY: Whar's a zcro-ratcd place like?
ооштанм: You walk ито some back
yards and garb;

Б 19 ib bun ОБЕ. walk Ta
pool gume in progress among four guys
who look as if they had played extras on
The Untouchables. The place exudes re
Mafia decor. Its basic
day-old pastrami. You
can almost smell puddles of cat piss.
You're shunted into a room wh
are some women who resemble bulkalocs.
It's smoky. it's dirty and you're made to
feel as if sweat is oozing Irem every pa
in your body.

PLAYBOY: How much better are the places
> and two-cock rat
They're more like а dentist's
x. You make it on а surgically pre-
pared table, perfunctorily. It’s not
fun. Keep in mind that as the rating
up, the places get larger. Instead of get-
ting a hand job in a closet, you're g
it in a nicesized living room. But I don't
like going to these places for a hand job,
ause 1 prefer my own hand. I'm really
quite good at that. Some people say when
you masturbate, you meet a berer class
of person. АП things being equal,
though, I prefer blow jobs.

PLAYBOY: What do they cost in а massa

na place a

there

t a three- or four-cock studio,
general price would be 510 for

560 for fucking. If you look
stupid or like а tourist, if you wear a
tic or your shoes are mismatched, the girls
will charge you а 50 percent premium for
ignorance. If you tell her you love her,
she'll probably charge you а 100 percent

you
а blow job

ing in a place like this
she'll probably charge you а 200 percent
premium. If you tell her you're going to
make her а rLAYsov centerfold, she'll
probably throw you out. These figures
are just for the inside services; you
should tip the girl an extra five dollars.
The studio itself gets $20 or $25 for the
half hour or 40 minutes you spend there.

PLAYBOY: Do these places guarantee satis-
faction?

GOLDSTEIN: They don't even guarantee the
most obvious amenities. I visited onc
massage studio recently where the girl
who blew me sted I wear a rubber. I
was so insulted 1 couldn't come, That
studio lost one cock in its rating for mis-
representation, И you pay for a blow job,
for God's sake, you should get a real blow
job.

PLAYBOY: Do you get a discount at ma
age studios?
GOLDSTEIN: I. feel that I shouldn't have to
pay at all, since I'm the editor of Screw.

П. since she's working.
a minimu: 0 up to $50, depending
on how good she is.
PLAYBOY: As editor of а prest
publication, if there is such a 1h
you get a lot of freebies?
GOLDSTEIN: I usually don't get laid unless
1 pay for it. IE I were а real swinger, like
Bernie Cornfeld or Hugh Hefner, |
would be getting laid every night with
lots of new people. That doesn't happen.
But I'm obsessed with it. I feel I'm much
more typical of the normal Атенсли
male tham affluent people who have
their choice of harens. So, basically, Ган
for sex. And hookers supply an
ї outlet, Let's say Fm [eel
iety because Pm late on а deadlin
or I have to be in court, or I've been
going through contact sheets 10 pick sex
photos. and I've been turned on. 1 need
а release. HE J want to save 550, ГИ g
into the Screw rest room and jerk off
the toilet. Or ГШ call a hooker, dose the
door to my office and зау. "No calls for
10 minutes.” and PH fuck on the
couch or the rug. One time 1 had a hook-
cr blowing me under the desk while
people were coming in and out of my of-
Sobody was aware that she was there
Occasionally my voice would raise a Hile
bit or Га cough. That was kinky. I would
ike to sce Screw so successful that E could
permanent girl 1 could phone out
e 1 call the local eatery that
She could be on wheels in

mis sex
ng, don't

eis pizz:
а іше cubide to the side of my offic

could press a button and have her come
out like a train on tracks and service me.
It would probably add only another $200
's become a
That would

multi
be total <:
PLAYBOY: Wi hat percentage of your extra-
m ivities is with hool
GOLDSTEIN: Probably 85 р
ly, 1 see a couple of them
hookers very comfortable to be with.
make love with my wife twice а week—
Saturday and Sunday—and also visit a
massage studio twice during the wee
The hookers I like best are called “re
dentials"—where I go to their home or
tment. 1 tell them 1 would enjoy it
morc if they were having a good time, too.
Isay, "I know I'm paying. Not only am I
a John but I'm editor of Screw. So 1 want
it to be a little different. If I give you
pleasure, it would really be nice for me.
But please don't fake it. Don't tell me my
cock's big. Don't tell me I'm the most
wonderful lay. That's insulting.” They
respect me for that.

PLAYBOY: How docs your wife feel about
your visiting prostitutes?

cent. Obvious-
week. I find

GOLDSTEIN: Gena is very afraid I'm going
to give her V.D. 105 amazing that I
haven't had anything since 1 got gonor-

thea in the Army at the age of 20. My
shrink feels I must be immune to it. I
(continued on page 212)

WHAT SORT ОЕ MAN READS PLAYBOY?

A man who knows beauty when he sees it. And he sees it all around him. In interesting objets d'art.
In the company of a lovely young lady. And monthly, in the pages of his favorite magazine. Fact:
Men devote nearly two hours to reading each issue of PLAYBOY. By way of comparison, that's about
triple the time men spend reading any newsweekly. To make your product a collector's item with
this involved, responsive audience, advertise it in the pages of PLAYBOY. (Source: 1973 Simmons.)

New York - Chicago - Detroit - Los Angeles - San Franciseo - Atlanta - London - Tokyo

someone=or something—
had been ins ~~

their. heuse, Tough every
door-had been locked

fiction By david ely rae sins Me it happened; they thought nothing about
it. Having returnéd a&er-daik. [rom a cocktail party, Carl and Pauline Bays left
their car as usual in the circle where the road ended and climbed the winding steps
shat were cil into the rocks At the halfway point, he steps turned sharply and the
corrige cane tito view above them-Jt wasthen-that they-saw the light in the kitchen.

At first they assumed that some friend had stopped by for a visit (they never
locked the cottage, for it was only a summer place), but when they found no one
waiting for them there, they concluded that one of them must have turned the
light on by accident before they left for the party. It was still daylight then, so they
wouldn't have noticed it. The second time was more puzzling. As usual, before they

ILLUSTRATION BY DAN MORRILL

a А

the light
in the
cottage

PLAYBOY

left, Carl turned on the little outside
lamp down where the steps turned.
(That was а safety precaution. Without
the light, someone unfamiliar with the
turning might take а nasty fall) The

he made certain that all the inside lights
were off, so that the cottage would be
dark when they came back.

And yet on their return, they found

that the bathroom light was burning.
Again, the cottage was empty.
No doubt about it this time,” Cart
id to Pauline. “Someone was here, all
ght.” But a visiting friend would have
left a note, and there was no note.
“There may be something wrong with
the electricity.” Carl added. "That could
be dangerous, if there's a short circuit or
something. ГИ have it checked."

The electrician came that same week
(which in itself was а minor mirade),
but he found the system in perfect order.
“L had а cat once.” the man said when
arl told him wl

cat would turn c

th
the house by
ting the switches with its paws. so when

self, jumping up and bat-

we'd come back at night, it looked
party.”
But Carl and Pauline Bays had no cat.

The third пей was the light in
their bedroom then—Pauline became
upset. “I don’t like it,” she said. “Some-
body's playing a joke on us, but it isn't

funn;
Carl didn't like it, either. What trou-
bled him most was the lack of an obvious
explanation. The cottage was set high on
а rocky spur overlooking the ocean, a lo-
mote to attract casual passers-
Tt couldn't be seen from the road,
and besides. no one drove out tliat far at
night. It hadn't been a burglar who had
entered, for a burglar would have taken
someth boule of liquor or the
portable iypewriter—and nothing w
ising. A prankish child

or four miles
gine that any of

their friends would be capable of such an
odd joke. In any event, all the people
they knew well had been at the same
parties on all three occasions, Could it
have been someone the town?
These Maine villagers were sometimes
peculiar if they took a dislike to an out
sider. But that was very unlikely. C:
amd Pauline were a proper Bostonian
couple in their late 30s, spare and dry
and unobtrusively elegant. They ma
tained a crisp and quiet public disci-
pline: it was almost inconceivable that
they could offend anyone,

from

The next tine they went out for the
evening, Carl locked the cottage.

“That'll do it” he said briskly.
“Whoever our little visitor may be, he
obviously isn't the type who goes around

breaking down doors. When he finds the
place locked, he'll go away ag
she,” he amended, for he was а lawyer
and phrased even casual statements with
care. "We've seen the last of it, 1 think.”
“We haven't seen it at all," said Pau-

someone who lived here while we were
gone?"

"Don't Бе
Carl said, and with r y
a caretaker who checked the cottage once
a week during the winters. In the sum-
mers of their absence—they had not used
the cottage themselves for seven ye:
they had rented the place to friends
Forget this stupid business. Pauline.” he
said. For a few moments they stood at the
top of the steps, watching the sunset fire
the sky and tint the choppy little waves
that slapped against the rocks far below.
"Isn't that magnificent?” he said, smiling
down at hei lm glad we decided to
come back.”

"You decided. I really didn't want to."
But I wouldn't have insisted if you
hadn't agrced. And you're not sorry now,
е you?
No, 1 suppose not," she said slowly.
“It Ба beautiful place. But sometimes I
can't help remember S
Look, Pauline. We said we wouldi
talk about that," he said, and there was a
sharp note in his voice. "That belongs to
the past—and we're living in the present.
now."

"Yes, of course," she 1. "You're
right, Carl.” She smiled at him and took
his hand; together, they descended. the
steps.

The evening. however, did not turn
Out to be pleasant. They were dinner
guests of Carl's
McRettrick, who had а rambling old
summer place on the hill overlooking the
"s brother, a professor of
visiting. with his wife
and children. The brother, Ralph. was
one of those talkative enthusiasts who
gatherings, assuming
ests them will also interest
others. TI as nor to Pauline's liking,
for parties stimulated her, too, to take a
I role, and that eve-
ning Ralph MeKeurick celivered wl
was almost а monolog on hi
child. psychology (which wa
soi merest to Carl and Pa
they were childless).

Professor — MeKettrick’s particular
theme was the learning ability of very
young children, which he expounded
with the сизу authority of a practiced
lecturer, his nasal voice resounding in
the night air. The table had been set out
on the veranda, where the politely att
tive faces of the other guests glowed i
the light of candles. Down below. wi
the lamps of the village and those of the
boats anchored in the harbor.

"Children аге incredible

ng—

leading convers:

research in
no per-
„for

achievers,

Professor McKettrick iying. "but
their capacity lessens year. A child
of four can do less than а two-year-old,
and so it goes. An infant, by the same
token, makes the two-year-old look like a
dullard.”

t the other end of the table, saw
that Pauline was the only onc not watch-
ing the speaker. She was looking down at
her plate, a slight frown on her face.

"Recently we've been focusing ou
search on an even earlier period,” Proles

sor McKeurick continued. “The earliest
possible period, in
“Life before conception?” someone

asked jokingly.
“Not quite that. No, I n
tal period.

an the prena-

hin the house, a baby cried
Pauline shivered and laid down her des

sert fork.
“There's a real achiever for you—ihe
unborn child,” Professor McKeutrick

went оп. “Не has to cover eons of biolog-
1 history in just nine months. The ac
complishments of the baby and the
toddler are nothing compared with what
the fetus does:

“So then it's the fetus who's the smart-
est of us all." said the man to his left

“Well, of course we don't think in
terms of conventional intelligence in this
connection." replied Professor McKet-
tick tolerantly. “It’s more а matier of
sheer creative drive—the thrust of the in-
stinct to live."

Carl cleared his throat and cast a swift
warning glance at his host.

"Naturally, there are technical. dif-
ficulties in studying the fetus,” Professor
McKettrick said. "Much of our attention
is necessarily concentrated on the moth-
er—and on that strange. phenomenon,
the marvelous calm and serenity of pr
nant women. Nature scems to insist on it,
to protect the emotional. stability of ше
unborn child. I n
we've run
aling cases of sci
with по physical defects and an арра
ently tranquil infancy. It's these cases
that Jead us to suspect that the answer
may lic in the prenatal period. The
mother may have suffered sever
jonal trauma
question of misca
study from this standpoin

‚ too. 1 might

uline pushed back her chair, her lips
working. Сап, too, seemed upset. The
other guests were a reaction
but Profesor McKettrick's. profes
zeal had immunized him ag
ceptions.

The unborn child draws life and love
from the mother." he declared with an
agreeable smile, “But the reverse can also
be true. The fetus—'

arc of th

al
st such

His brother hastily interrupted. him.
“Ralph, if you don't mind —
"The fetus" Profesor McKettrick

(continued on page 222,

"You never told me there was someone else, Fairfax!”

he drives the stockers
as good as those georgia
boys and the road
racers as good as those
europeans. so that
must make him just about

the best there is
ни: —J7-————XmÁewe——7 — MH

НЕ WAS STANDING atop the

pit wall hands on hips,

looking out through slitted

eyes at the Frenchmen—

people he distrusts because

they serve fish with the

heads and tails still on

them. And if that isn't

enough, they all talk this

goddamn funny language.

Close beyond the first tight

circle of Frenchmen was a

looser stand of European journalists, all of
. waiting for some of those
clean, cutting, kiss-my-ass quotes they had
heard about. And beyond them all, parked
оп the edge of the track, sat the car.

"The car was Ford's Mark IV, rear-engined,
lowslung and roofed over, strictly low-
mileage; 2580 pounds, exactly 499 horse-
power in its 427-cubicinch engine. It sat
there with its tail up and its nose down like
a good race car should and on the hood,
roof and doors it wore мо. 1. There was по
special significance to the No. 1—but there
was real meaning behind the red color. That
was there to piss off Enzo Ferrari.

Now he reached into his back pocket and
pulled out his wallet: the standard leather
fold-over model. It was so full of money that
it would barely fold over. “Here, hold onna
this," he told a friend. ‘The Frenchmen all
sighed. The journalists all sighed; some of
them jotted down in their notebooks, “Much
Indy money.” Then he turned to a crew
official. "I know it’s famous and all that
stuff. 1 mean: I know this here is the scariest
track in Europe and all that. But what I

mean is: This here"—and
he waved one hand out at
the track—“this here is just
a country road that twists
around a whole lot and runs
through a bunch of trees,
right?"

Several heads nodded.

nd А. J. Foyt shrugged

e his driving suit

Well, then." he said, and
he smiled.

He has bone-white teeth, something of a
natural dental wonder. He is probably so
full of calcium that you couldn't break him
with repeated blows of a tire iron. This hard-
gloss, Kelvinator-door smile has been known
to paralyze full grown women at tight range.

It was France in June 1967 and a couple
of weeks earlier Foyt had won the Indian-
500 for the third time. He was the
g of the racing world, a status he had
carved out over 12 years of the meanest
hornyhanded driving anyone had ever seen.
And now hc was set to drive the 24 hours
of Le Mans with Dan Gurney as copilot—
over a 8.475-mile course that savages the best
men in the world.

Just outside town, along old RN158, the
main drag from Alencon to Tours, the road
widens up quite a bit and becomes а dead
straightaway for about three and one half
miles. Once every year they chase all the
hay shakers off there, the horse-drawn wagons
and old Citroëns and older men pedaling
bicycles loaded up with bunches of tied
twigs—and it becomes the Mulsanne Straight,
then and now the fastest stretch of road

ADINI

personality By WILMAM NEELY

ILLUSTRATION BY ERALDO CARUGATI

PLAYBOY

сусг incorporated into a closed circuit.

There are trees up close along both
sides and down toward the end of the
straight you have to be hitting 200 or
210 miles an hour or you might as
well park it. And as if you haven't got
enough to do just hanging om, they've
got this row of signs off to one side that
tell you something—if you could read
the things at that blind speed. Well, the
signs are counting down kilometers, be-
cause at the end of the straight, just after
this little 200-mile-an-hour soft right-hand
dog-leg, they've. got this 35-mile-an-hour
comer where you've got to suck every-
thing up tight. Suddenly you're going in
the other direction. Back off a bit and
hit the brakes; really mash down, then
drag it down to first gear and breathe
the brakes. Then hammer her back up to
somewhere around 180 mph; gear down
10 40 mph for a right-hander, gear down
again for that slow left-right; punch it
back to 160. Stand on it some more and
crank it around the White House Cor-
ner and you had better plan to be hit-
ting 180 and dimbing as you go past the
pits or everybody will think you're a
fucking tourist. Over the hill and into
the esses, where, usually, you are sud-
denly right up to your ass in little Alfas
buzzing along in their own little race.
You do all this 350 times in 24 hours,
driving through night and day, and half
the time it is raining down at one end of
the wack and sunny at the other—and
most of the time they've got this cross
wind that huffs up and blows you over
one whole lane.

Foyt had it wired from the start. The
Le Mans track really is just a Ние old
country road, like he said. Anyone who
would pump it full of special mystique
and read extra romantic nuance into it
just doesn't understand what it is that
makes Foyt so special. Foyt recognizes a
road and a car for what they really are
and what they can do. And he bites
people who don’t do the same.

They won it, of course, and for the
record, they covered $249.6 miles in 24
hours at an average speed of 135.48 miles
an hour, shattering the track record by
the biggest margin in the history of the
event. (They also averaged five and a
half miles per gallon of gas and burned
20 quarts of oil.) On the victory stand,
after spraying — everybody—including
chairman Henry Ford П and his new
bouffant wife—with champagne, Foyt al-
lowed as how “I tole you; damn, I tole
you guys, that this here road isn't
any different than a whole lot I have
drove on.”

They loved him in Europe; they still
do. Foyt marched through Le Mans chin
out and shoulders up in a stance that is
peculiar to stock-car racers, and every-
body else looked somehow fey by com-
parison. He also said exactly what he
meant—in the land of the devious
quote.

European Journalist: First you win zc
Indy. And now, ze historic 24 hours of
Le Mans. These two victories will make
you famous, no?

А. J. Foyt: Famous? Lissen: ГИ tell
you what made me famous. You see this
here right foot? Well, that there foot is
what made me famous.

At lunch a few days before the race,
sitting on a sun-washed terrace at one of
the world’s better restaurants, Foyt had
growled softly at the waiter: "Gahdamn,"
he had said. “You expect me to eat this
here fish? Lookee here, the little old sum-
bitch is staring at me.” And while the
fish was being whisked away for proper
"Texas trimming, Foyt had grinned at his
companions. “This here is a trick coun-
try,” he said.

It was a clean, hot day and the com
panionship was good—fellow race driv-
ers, really the only humans with whom
Foyt feels at large ease. Denis Hulme was
there, the big, affable New Zealander who
had just been named rookie of the year
at Indy, and whom everybody calls The
Bear. Roger McCluskey was there, a
small, very tough survivor of the same
sort of racing that had created Foyt:
everything from midgets to stockers to
Indy cars.

This was the summer before the mi-
croskirt had really moved over to the
U.S. and among the diners on the ter-
race was a scattering of bare thighs, be-
longing to these golden, willowy girls
who were looking on at the drivers,
clearly interested.

“1 wonder if it's true about French
ladies; you know, where they don't wear
any pants,” one of the drivers said.

Everybody looked around. "Man," said
another, “if you don’t find out in a place
like this here, you'll never know."

At the table next to Foyt, one of the
girls leaned over.

“You are the racing drivers for Le
Mans, no?" she said.

Foyt flashed her the smile and she
practically pitched forward into her
quiche Lorraine.

“Uh-huh,” he said. Then he paused.
“Well, all of us here except this one.”
He pointed to McCluskey. "He's really a
monkey.”

She nodded brightly, accepting that.
“I see the monkey,” she said.

McCluskey looked at her and shrugged.
“Yeah,” he said. "Well, hell, ma'am, I
can see yours, too.”

Anthony Joseph Foyt, Jr, now 39
years old, was born in Houston, Texas,
of sound stock and raised up to be steady
of kidney, a kid with the good sense to
leave school before they got to John
Greenleaf Whittier or, worse yet, social
studies—the sort of thing that can screw
up a brain for fair. "I couldn't study any
longer,” he says now. "] could already
take a car apart and put it back together

better п it was . . ." and he concludes
the sentence with a sort of shrug indicat-
ing that anybody who needs more
schooling than that will probably grow
up to be some sort of bum, anyway. It is
a matter of record that the exact last
time he ever took any advice from any-
body was in 1946. He was 11 at the time.

The senior A. J. remembers it well:
t after the war and I owned
and campaigned two midget race cars in
those days. So I took one of them to Dal-
125 for a race and Miz Foyt went along
with me. We left one of the cars at
home—and we left A. J. home, too.

“Well, when we got back—I guess it
was about 5:30 in the morning or so—we
found the whole yard tore up. I mean
everything was gone. The grass was all
chewed to bits and there were tire goug-
es all over the place. The swing set we
had in the yard had been knocked over;
the place was one mess. knew right
away that A. J. had got some of his
buddies to push him and that they had
got that midget fired up; it didn't have
a self-starter. And then—after 1 had
stood there and looked at the messed-up
yard, 1 went into the garage and saw the
car. And I knew what had happened; he
had caught the thing on fire and had
burned up the engine. It was sitting there
with the paint all scorched.

“I went right into the house and into
his bedroom; I was thinking of whap-
ping him. He was laying there playing
he was asleep, but 1 could tell he wasn't
really. My wile said, ‘Well, don't say any-
thing to him right now when you're still
so mad.’ So І didn't shake him up. But I
knew right then, standing there in the
kid's bedroom, that he would have to
race, that there wasn't going to be any
other way."

Next day, Dad dispensed the advice:
"All right, you want to race, you can
race. Only thing you got to promise me
is always to drive something good. And
one more thing: Stay the hell off the
grass."

"The rest is history, suitably laced with
legend. Foyt drove his dad's midget cars
at first, developing a sort of personalized
balls-out, catch-me-«ome-kiss-me style that
became part of his trademark. The oth-
er part consisted of those teeth and a
jaw line that might have been done by
Gutzon Borglum, plus realsilk shirts
and crisp fresh white pants for every
race. The pants probably did it: He ac-
quired the nickname Fancy Pants and
promptly kicked the hell out of anyone
Who said it in the wrong tone of voice—
and by the time he was ready for bigger
cars, it was clear that he was going to be
either a champion driver or the damned-
est middleweight ever to come out of
Houston.

First time up at Indy, A. J. Fancy
Pants talked himself into the Dean Van

(continued on page 92)

тез ап а... ee E > У FE 99
on mary wilcox, A | | \
who turns on - ты ДЕ ге <
the heat with || А | \
tony curtis ied Ls

ties.
r and

Lepke jumps Бай and leaves his wife ond.
adopted son to go into hiding. Hiding
turns out to be no fun, but the widow
Marion provides a few diversions,

The kitchen scene with Lepke, played

by Tony Curtis, ond the long-awaited out-
come, below. The next morning, Lepke

denies that anything happened between them.

door." Starting as a ballerina in Indianapolis at the
age of four, she eventually abandoned professional
ballet for the screen (“A ballet instructor once told
me I had prima ballerina in me from the waist
up") and has played minor roles in Marlowe, Love
Me Deadly, Willie Dynamite and the aforemen-
tioned Lepke, starring Curtis. In the film, directed
by Israel's prize-winning Menahem Golan, Магу pro-
vides Lepke with a hideout, but nothing ignites be-
tween the two until. , . . Fade in: The kitchen again.
Same heat, same crook, same lingerie, Marion says
good night. Lepke follows her into the bedroom, sees
the silhouette of her naked body in the doorway. He
walks toward her; she walks toward him. They meet
at the bed. She takes off his suspenders. . .. Fade out.

"Tony Curtis was great to work
with,” says affoble Mary. "Alwoys
professional and willing." With
emphosis on the willing, no doubt.

Before Lepke, Mory co-storred

in a surreolistic film called

The Kirlian Effect, as a sexy
private nurse who teases old men.

Although she frowns upon much of the special
treatment most fomous actresses receive,
Mary's acting ambition is to live in a foreign
country and hove scripts sent to her

1 always wanted to be a ballerina," says
Miss Wilcox, “but I just couldn't knock
off those extra curves, Ballerin eto
be thin as bean poles.” That's showbiz

PLAYBOY

ary
fide (continued from page 84)

Lines Special, a hot car of the day—
hanging in there in 16th place. Three
years later, he won the race, $117,975,
and he has been getting richer ever
since. "You know,” a sponsor once
mused, “for a guy who didn't get any
schooling, Foyt sure knows how to read
a contract.”

"Through the years, the United States
Auto Club has watched A. ].5 career
with special pride, mixed with a sort of
bemused dread. Foyt is enough to make
ion proud and he is always
a cedit to the game and all
that bullshit, but he also has а keenly
honed sense of swift justice. In a 1963
episode, at а badass, no-account sprint-
car race in Williams Grove, Pennsylva-
nia, Foyt felt that fellow racer Johnny
White was cutting him off at the turns
This sort of maneuver was a source of
considerable irritation to Foyt and the
moment the race was over, he vaulted
out of his car and sprinted over to
White.

According to one U.S.A.C. official, A. J.
opened the conversation by slugging
White, who reported the incident, and
Foyt was suspended from racing.

At the appeal, Foyt brought McClus-
key along as a character witness and, in
his best courtroom manner, explained
what happened: "1 didn't either slug
him,” Foyt said. "Oh, 1 had him around
the head pretty good and I was holding
him, all right. But 1 didn’t hit him.”
And McCluskey provided the clincher

"A. J. didn't hit White,” he testified.
“If he had of, he would have tore his
head oft."

Case dismissed; driver reinstated.

The reputation grew, shot through,
in no special order, with all sorts of
highlights:

* Not too many years ago, at a midget
race in Terre Наше, Foyt failed to qual-
ify because of car troubles and a deterio-
rating track. The winners purse was
only $600, and any man would have
been well out of it, but Foyt was ticked
off. So he walked down the line, found
the right driver and paid him $100 to let
him have the 24th, and last, starting po-
sition. By mid-race, Foyt was im first
place, and he won. as they say, by a mile.

* In March of 1964, Foyt showed up for
the 12 hours of Sebring, a sportscar race
that draws both tough and clegant gen-
tlemen from the road-racing world. The
Le Mans-type start sort of threw him:
Foyt is a driver, not a sprinter. As a re-
sult, he got a late start.

The field roared away, and just as the
smartasses in the crowd were pointing
out that one should never—but never—
leave one’s proper niche in the world,
the cars came around again.

And there was Foyt: He had passed 51
cars on the first lap. He rolled by the

stands and gave them his kiss-my-ass
shrug

And now he is on top. Ву count, Foyt
has won more races and more champion-
than any other driver alive: in
midgets, sprint cars, dirt cars, stock cars,
Indy cars, sports cars and God knows.

А few years ago at Indianapolis, they
told the story around the pits about the
race driver who lost it in the second turn
and skidded all the way to the pearly
gates. Saint Peter walked up and put his
arm around the race driver's shoulder.
“Listen, son," he said, "you're in heaven.
Don't look so unhappy.”

“Hell—I mean, er—excuse me, shucks,
1 was right smack in the middle of my
best season, | had that championship
all locked up. And now I can't race
anymore."

“*Course you can," said Saint Peter.
“This is heaven, t it?” And so Saint
Peter took him down and showed him a
solid-gold track that was so unbelieva-
bly beautiful that the driver just stood
there and quivered.

"What about race cars?" he asked.

"Race cars" Saint Peter said. "Race
cars. Just take your pick." And he waved
an arm toward the pit area.

"The race driver casually strolled over
to а goldand-white rear-engined Offy
and scraped at the finish with a dirty
fingernail. Just as he thought: 14-kt-gold
and mother-of-pearl.

“Try it, son,” Saint Peter said.

“I don't know. I mean, man, this here
is a weird scene," he said. All the while,
he was easing himself into the cockpit.
He buckled up and slipped on his hel-
met. The car roared to full power—a
throaty, solid sound he knew well—and
he wheeled it onto the track. First lap,
he broke the track record. Then, sudden-
ly, he was in шас. There were race cars
everywhere and he was blowing them off
like he had never been able to do down
there at Daytona or Indy. Not even in
this best season of his. Why, he could
put that rascal up high in the corners or
down low. Anywhere. And it stuck right
in there,

Alter six or seven sizzling laps of weav-
ing through tr;
and it passed hin
the finger. And right there on the driv-
er's helmet were the Is A. ГЕ He
wheeled the car i coasted to a stop.
nt Peter strode up.

What's the matter, son? You were
turning some pretty fast la]

“I didn't know Foyt was dead," he
said.

"Oh, that's пог Foyt. That's God. Не
just thinks He's Foyt.”

It was weeks before anyone told Foyt
the story. The man who d
nelli Jones, who is carved right out of

d it was Par-

concrete: if Foyt had punched him. the
resulting fight would have torn the track.
up for miles around.

“Very funny,” Foyt said and stomped
off.

A visitor talked with A. J. in a motel
outside Daytona last year. Foyt was tired
after a hard day on the track. Неа
blown an engine and now he watched
television as Evel Knievel jumped а
bunch of Mack trucks.

“You know, he's all right, Evel,” Foyt
said. "He's been out to my farm and 1
kind of like him.

It is the highest compliment A. J
gives anybody.

He eased his burly frame onto the bed
and patted down his hair to cover the
forehead that is becoming more and
more apparent these days (А. J. had
шей a hairpiece at Atlanta a couple of
years ago but shelved it after Bobby Alli-
son met him in the pits and said,
"Where's your daddy, sonny? 1 wanna
talk to him about his race car.").

“You know,” he mused, looking up at
the ceiling, “a lot of people worry about
getting to be 40. Not me. Hell, I'll be 40
next January and my refiexes are just as
good as ever. A man’s reflexes don’t
change. Only his eyes. And lemme tell
you, when your eves go, you're through.

“I mean, did you see that goddamn
thing the A.P. wrote about me a couple

20/15 and thats what counts.
turned back to the television.

“You think he'll ever jump that Snake
River Canyon? 1 do. He's crazy enough
to do it. He is.”

And he rubbed his scarred hands over
his eyes. The hands tell a lot. The knuck-
les of a fighter and fingers of a mechanic.
But that was $2,500,000 ago.

As if on cue, he speaks of those early
days (perhaps the A.P. story did get to
him):

"You know, there were times when
people actually booed me for breaking
"Tommy Hinnershitz record on thosc
Pennsylvania dirt tracks. Thats when I
was running the sprinter
отту was so popular that the fans
couldn't stand watching him get old and
seeing а smartassed young kid from
Houston taking his records away. But 1
ink his eyes went on him.

Why, I used to waich Tommy run
that track, and it was a sight to behold.
We were running knobby tires then. You
know, them big old skinny things with
knobs for tread, and they were rough.
You had to run a lot harder with those
tires on the dirt tracks then. I mean, you
ran in hard and deep т the corners.

Voom!” Foyt uses racing sounds as
punctuation, semicolons and all. "And
once you committed yourself, it was too

(continued on page 188)

FODA

“So this is what they mean by prostituting your art.”

SYLVESTER
THE CAT

want to know why they
call him sly? read on

personality By JOHN САБ

IN SLY sTONE's encapsulated universe, life
isn't always theater but travel can be. One
afternoon late last year, it was a ride from
the residential hills through the East
Oakland ghetto to the airport. At 98th
Avenue and East 14th, his Japanese body.
guard, Turu, Zen cool in leather and
aviator shades, punched buttons to send
conditioned air whooshing from discreet
vents throughout the seven-passenger
Mercedes. At a stop light a moment later,
Bubba Banks, an old friend, put on ап
eighttrack cartridge, while across the
street in front of V. J. Liquors, a few
brothers smiled at the sight of black faces
behind tinted glass—righteous solidarity
with the player's player. As the Doggie
Diner came and passed from view, a sleek
unsmiling beauty named Kim, wearing a
creamy satin blouse with nipple accents,
leaned forward from the seat opposite
and with the tip of her perfectly mani-
cured little finger gently, carefully, sen-
sually dabbed a bit of Chap Stick оп Sly's
possibly parched lower lip.

He nodded thanks and resumed an un-
necessary call to L.A. to make sure the
color TV was being properly installed in
his new toy, a $40.000 custom Titan
coupe. The mobile-phone connection
was bad, but Sly's 16-track voice compen-
sated. Lightly squeezed next to him was
his longtime secretary and off-and-on
girlfriend Stephani—lithe, alert and aris-
tocratic—an open TelAddress book on
her knees, the little finger of her hand
resting almost innocently on his forearm
“You can slow down, Twi, we got time.”
She was speaking to the chauffeur, an
amiable but spaced blond kid in his mid-
20s whom Sly, with deadly accuracy, had
nicknamed Twilight.

Nearing the airport, Sly finished his

PAINTING FOR PLAYBOY BY ED PASCHKE

PLAYBOY

call and leaned back against butterscotch
upholstery, a study in Nudietailored
Пахеп gabardine with gold trim. "A
Titan?" he grinned, responding to a re
quest for a description, "It's a car that
looks like a car that a rock star would get
who's just starting to make it big and
wants everybody to know it" A long
pause followed chuckles as the company
rode in silence.

At length Sly looked up. "You really
gonna write some good shit about me?"
The tone wavered between genuine curi
osity and testy роп.

"Oh, absolutely."

Another long silence. "This time he
pulled his dark glasses down to the tip of
his nose and stared over the rims. "Are
you sure you're not a cop?"

‘The mood was ful, not hostile.
That т itself is indicative of Sly's tem-
perament these days. The haughty petu
lance and outofcontrol craziness long
attributed to one of pop music's most
gifted artists are less evident now. Appar-
ently, after six years of mercurial success,
30-year-old Sylvester Stewart has begun
to mellow. There's a tentative openness
about him, but not at the expense of his
role as a purveyor of definitive flash.

That evening Sly, preceded by a small
fleet of limousines, pulled up to the stage
door of Hollywood's Aquarius Theater
in a sleek 1936 Cord, white on white
(from his collection of six vintage cars).
‘The occasion was the taping of a show
for ABC's In Concert series with Sly К
the Family Stone as headliners. Word
quickly spread through the packed studio
audience. The band, already on hand for
five hours, immediately took stations at
the back of the revolving stage and ran
through a short sound check. Then Sly
took charge and cued the first number
as the stage rotated to face a by-now-
euphoric audience.

‘The set sizzled. The Family Stone,
nine in all, was arrayed across the length
of the stage, a glittering swirl of calfskin
pants suits, satin shirts, rese-tinted glass-
¢s, leather fringe, frost-blue turbans and
stacked heels. Center stage in sunburst
glory stood beautiful sassy Sly. resplend-
ent in а sparkle-plenty white V-necked
jump suit and rhinestone belt. With a
matching wide-brimmed digger-style hat
perched jauntily atop a full natural, he
towered over everyone, even as he sat at
the organ. Here was the quintessential
Sly, a scintillating presence, his earthy
resonant voice sounding easy and com
manding, booming through а solid wall
of dazzling teeth that outrivaled the gold
Star of David pendant around his neck.
Six songs and 40 minutes later, he closed
with I Want to Take You Higher, the
heavy-voltage hit that had clectrificd
Woodstock.

Everyone was happy with the show,
but a few hours later. Sly capped the
night with another performance. Having
returned to his Bel Air home, a three-

story Tudor residence that once be-
longed to Jeanette MacDonald, he was
preparing to leave for the airport when
the police arrived. A girl had led the
local precinct claiming she
held prisoner.

Sly stood sideways in the center of the
wood-paneled foyer roughly 15 feet from
the door and politely but firmly denied
anything of the sort. The officers asked
to search the house. “No, I do not want
you to come in." He spoke carefully,
а model of lucidity. More questions.
More denials. Another request to enter.
Another refusal. It was a tense stand-
off until Sly made the right move—he
hollered upstairs to have every woman
in the house come down. Immediately,
Stephani, Kim and Cynthia Robinson
(one of the best horn players in the
business) stood before the door with just
the right amount of indignation. After
some hesitation. the officers retreated.
As the door closed. someone upstairs
reported eight squad cars outside. The
house was surrounded.

Sly went directly to the phone. “This
is gettin’ fonky. I've already had one
beef with the Man and I swear to Gawd
1 ain't about to have another.”

‘Twenty minutes later, after failing to
reach any of a half-dozen high-priced
lawyers, he began to relax. After all, he
was innocent. “I'll call Mayor Bradley if
I have to. If I can't get him, ГИ call Doris
Day and have her come over.”

Now, that would be something. Sly
had met her the year before through her
son Terry Melcher. He had even sung
Que Sera, Зета with her a1 a highly publi-
cized Beverly Hills party and later re-
corded the song. "The encounter was a
gossip columnists dream—pop music's
premier black superstar linked with Mizz
Doris, the archetypal plantation owner's
daughter, symbol to millions of all that is
white and wholesome. That had kept the
rumor mills on both coasts buzzing for
months. If there had been more to it, Sly
wasn't saying at the moment. He had fi-
nally reached а mouthpiece. "Now, lis.
ten,” he said after hastily explaining his
dilemma. "You get your partner and
anybody else you know and get over here
fast and you be white and you be heavy!"

As it turned out, the visiting Bel Air
police contingent had already left. Fol-
lowing a momentary silence, the air was
filled with the sound of the Gord's crack-
ling exhaust as Mr. Innocent roared out
of the driveway.

If Sly Stone is brilliant as а stage per-
former, he's a near genius as a recording
artist, He has had an immense impact on
the music industry. His uncanny sense of
bottom-—of the rhythmic guts of a song—
makes for а unique sound that has
been widely copied. Janis Joplin. for
one, sought that fceling from her band.
Moreover, Sly developed an entire reper-

toire of new electronic sounds that has
been a major influence on such notables
as Edgar Winter, Billy Preston, Curtis
Mayfield and Stevie Wonder. In all, few
facets of todays music have not been
affected by his in s. Not surpris-
ingly, he commands one of the highest
royalty advances ever offered an individ-
ual artist—$1,000,000 per album—and
his record company is happy to pa

"This was not always the case, however.

to deliver а proi At that time,
superstar Sly was falling victim to his
own swift success. Increasingly isolated
and surrounded by sycophants and self-
proclaimed bodyguards, he had become
impossibly arrogant and irresponsible.
Not only did he fail to do an album but
his record of no-shows, late arrivals and
last-minute cancellations was the worst of
any major performer since Judy Gar
land. Few promoters would book him,
his band was frustrated, his drummer
quit and his manager sued him, while Sly
himself was widely rumored to be overly
fond of cocaine. Finally, after two years
of this near-lethal lifestyle, he decided to
get straight. In the spring of 1973, Sly
returned to writing, recorded an excellent
album, appropriately titled Fresh (which
quickly turned gold) and began touring
on weekends—showing up on time. He
was back on top.

Sly's life still borders on the surreal.
His world is still self-centered (through
circumstance as well as inclination); his
routine is still a continuous succession of
limousines, airplanes, hotel suites, con
cert stages and studios. Yet there are dif-
ferences, chief among them the fact that
he up and got himself married, in grand
style, last June. He has also moved back
to quieter San Francisco and has sold
his Bel Air mansion. In the meantime, he
has concentrated оп his first love—mak-
ing records.

То Sly the recording studio is the ulti
mate toy, a vast jungle gym into which he
channels enormous energy. Early last year,
when he finally started his long-overdue

album, he was a man possessed. And
when he couldn't book enough time at
he scheduled sessions at an
other, working day and night for weeks.
commuting between the two in a mobile
home. And during that period—even
though no one except studio engineers
ever laid eyes оп him—he was always
dressed to go onstage.

Nor has the pattern changed. This
year Sly spent most of the first three
months encamped in or near the Record
Plant, a lavish state-of-the-art studio in
Sausalito just north of the Golden Gate
Bridge. Aided only by an engineer and
an assistant, he would work 50 and 60
hours at a stretch, sleep for eight hours in
an adjacent office, then begin again
When he finished. he had some 30 or 40
cuts from which to select the best ten or

(continued on page 101)

She'll need a few more seconds to get ready, she soys;
but her date is right on time—in a peocoat suit of
Donegol tweed, about $275, and an overcoot also of
Doneaal tweed, about $225, both by Bill Kaiserman
for Rofael, worn over a cotton turtleneck, by Cardin,
$20. So don't just stand there, dummy, step inside.

PLAYBOY'S
FALL AND
WINTER
FASHION
FORECAST

the definitive statement
on the coming trends

in menswear

and accessories

attire By ROBERT L. GREEN

TY Does say October on the cover
of this issue, but, as you can see,
it’s not the season for Halloween
masquerading. The eccentric,
the outrageous, the defiantly
personal modes of dress that
flourished а couple of years ago,
when the flower children were
threatening to make Salvation
Army Edlectic a mainstay of
American fashion, are essential-
ly gone. Pimps and musicians
still go their own way, of course.
The rest of us are turning back
to the quiet elegance of suits and
sweaters and the secure touch of
tweeds, flannels and corduroys.
The approach of winter has
something to do with this; so
does the fact that each and every
trend in fashion guarantees its
own countertrend, and so, per-
haps, does the current swing
toward conservatism. (Haircuts,
as you've undoubtedly noticed,
are back in style, too.) Not that
individuality has been sacrificed:
The layered look, with its infi-
te possibilities for variation,
is still with us; and even the
most conservative outfit can ex-
press duality if properly
garnished, See what we mean?

Our guy doesn't mind nursing o drink—but this
‘one’s starting to turn into steam. He’s looking
cool, however, decked out in с Shaker knit, hooded
ond pocketed pullover, $B5, wom with wool
slocks, $85, and a cotton turtleneck pullover, $1
all by Ralph Lauren for Polo.

A book of Bouhaus interiors helps kill some time. Not
that our man needs odvice on design: Check

the way he’s combined that acrylic knit cardigon, $45,
with on oxford buttondown, $14.50, both by Gont,
plus an acrylic knit turtleneck, by Arrow Cosuol
Wear, $12, ond flannel slocks, by Corbin, $45.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL ARSENAULT

100

Make it snappy, he says. And she says, Mm-hm.
They're both thinking obout his can't-lose
outfit: а two-button gabardine suit, $350, and
silk scarf, $25, both by Ermenegildo Zegna,
plus a texturized polyester shirt, by Yves

St. Laurent, $20. Do you think she'll snap to it?

The mirror doesn't lie; neither does the clock. (He's
checking to see what day it is) Things, however, are
still basically сорасенс, particularly that suit of
cotton corduroy, with coin lapels and leather
butions, by Flo Toronto, $85, and thot turtleneck of
Orton acrylic, by Holbrook, about $11. Tick, tock. . . .

101

Ап overwait problem? Ah, well, stasis has its own
virtues, if the scene is as cozy os this one—and if you're
wearing а two-tone satin-front cardigan, by Gentleman
John, $20, a cotton knit spread-collar shirt, by Larry

Kone for Raffles Wear, $25, and gabardine slacks with
wide straight legs, by Gil Cohen for Boulet, $28.

She's ready, now, for him to help her get it

оп. He's already got his things on: goatskin
jocket, by East West Musical Instruments, $180,
chenille sleeveless pullover, by Stanley Blocker,
$20, linenlike shirt, by Sero, $17.50, and
tweed slacks, by Tattersall, $35.

Finally, the hoppy couple emerges, ta light up the tawn—

‘on easy task for him with a Shetlond wool suit, by

Lebow, $285, polyester and cotton shirt, by Coreer Club,
$12, wcol necktie, from Kipper by Berkley, $6.50, plus

that eight-button, fur-collared cact, by Tom Fallon for
Cortefiel, cbout $140. And we were just getting comfortable.

PLAYBOY

104 ché case and removed the ph

SYLVESTER THE (ДТ continued rom page 9)

twelve for this year’s album. The man
likes to work.

He also likes to hang out on the town
when time allows. То spend an evening
riding with Sly is to be fully occupied
with the business of going places, or at
east getting ready to, and it can be a lot
of fun. The destination is the journey.
Опе travels in limousines, engages in
endless discussion about where to go next
id usually spends part of the time
parked in the marquee limelight of a
trendy night club, flirting with foxes.
‘There are variations, like the night Sly
debuted his new chariot

There he was, sitting in his pristine
white Titan outside the entrance of San
Francisco's Hyatt Regency hotel—watch-
ing Kung Fu on a giant Sony. The car it-
self was а better show, an extravagantly
customized Lincoln Continental with a
puckered grille, wide white sidewalls and
an amazing roof antenna that looked like
ah ү curb feeler leaning into а hur-
с. Rising rock stars aside, one can
envision pimps and pl. 1 over the
country ordering duplicate Titans, in-
duding a Mission Control dashboard
phone with its row of digital stand-by
lights.

Inside the hotel, a formal dance and
concert was in progress, sponsored by
Black Porsche ше. a club comprised
primarily of blacks who own Porsches.
Sly was ostensibly there to see Graham
Central Station, a new group fronted by
Larry Graham, his ex-bass player, but to-
night was also an opportunity for one of
the trend setters in black fashion to drop
on 2000 people dressed to the nines,
He entered the crowded. lobby and
stood there in his blackand-silver jump
suit, flanked by Turu, Bubba and his
velvet-clad Spanish driver, Sergio, who
on cuc ceremoniously helped him remove
his silver maxicoat. Sly then ambled hap-
hazardly about in his trademark walk—a
kind of modified funky chick. nd
fumbled with an Instamatic camera that
refused to flash. Turu, who was carrying
in his gloved hand a leather attaché case
containing a phone, marched to h
put down the case and very seriously ex-
amined the camera's batteries while Sly
coyly eyed the lobby from beneath his
high starstudded hat.

The drop-in and his entourage entered
the ballroom and drifted along the side
lines. He paused briefly when а wide-
суса girl asked if he was really Sly.
“The name's Slip," he grinned, hooking
a thumb over his belt buckle incrusted
with sty in large letters, “М” friends call
me Slippy.” (They do, in fact.) She no-
ticed the buckle and giggled with embar-
‘assment. A moment later the party
found open seats at а large table occu-
pied by several fashion-plate executives
and their ladies. Тиги opened the atta-
ne. “Hello,

operator, hello, hello?” No response, but
that didn't seem the point, anyway.
Twenty minutes later Sly, followed by
Turu and Sergio, exited the ballroom by
a side door and explored several empty
conference rooms in search of a bath-
room. When none was found, there was
no choice but to head for the men's
lounge off the main lobby.

Among the first to spot Sly as he strode
in was a sharp young blade whose jewelry
and clothes left no doubt whom he idol-
ized. He was preening himself in the mi;
ror and when the Original suddenly
materialized behind him, he froze for a
fraction of a second, staring, then re-
gained composure. Sly ignored the dou-
ble take and the noticeable drop in the
conversational noise level. With a touch
of ritual, he unclipped his belt and hand-
ed it to Sergio, who carefully garlanded
it over the maxicoat draped on one arm.
Sly entered a stall and closed the door
while Sergio positioned himself in front
at parade rest. The atmosphere was
heavy with dignity

Sly is a constant user of telephones.
Sometimes it seems he calls people just
to reassure himself that he's still alive.
‘There's a loneliness there and he admits
iu: “И I ever stopped bein’ lonely, it
would only tell me how lonely loneliness
can be. 1 know how it is and that's why I
make sure I'm never lonely.” His voice is
a cross between Lord Buckley and a la-
conic street dude so stoned he might
crash before completing a sentence. But
behind those lidded eyes, Sly isn't miss-
ing a trick. "He's always talked like that,”
claims ex-Family Stone drummer Gregg
Errico. "But what а lot of people doi
realize is that beneath all that mumbling
and rambling he’s usually telling you
what he really thinks.”

Among those who have discovered this
were a scriptwriter and а movie producer
who last fall met with Sly in New York to
discuss his possible starring role in a fea-
ture film. After outlining their proposal,
they asked his opinion. He spoke slowly,
letuüng his voice trail off until it was
barely audible, at which point the p:
resumed their discussion with the others
nterrupted to an-
ng. The
two offenders quickly fell over themselves
apologizing, whereupon he suddenly sat
bolt upright in his chair, beamed tri-
umphantly and cried, “Gotcha!”

Despite numerous offers from
studios, Sly has yet to sign a contract. To
some degree, he's reluctant to gamble on
his unproved acting talent, but he also
seems to be looking for a part that fits his.
sclfimage. What that image is he won"
say, exactly, but his secretary, Step
will. "He still considers himself basically
а young street hustler, по matter how far
he's come. In a lot of ways, those are the

people he identifies with the most. И
means а lot to him that he's зиссее‹ ded in
their eyes and that they respect him.

Sly recently talked about doing his
own script. “I think 1 could write the
screenplay Г wanna act in, but I don't
wanna get into doing it, because it would
detract from what I know I can do best
right now.” He looked around as every
body nodded in agreement. For a few sec
onds he stared into space, alone.

1 wish somebody'd disagree
just to make it interesting."

He found something interesting indeed
10 do last June. At a quiet litde gathering
М

dison Square Garden, before 21,000
of his most intimate friends, he married
Kathy Silva, the sensitive Japanese-
American who'd had their son nine
months earlier.

lt had been announced in May, and
depending on where you were sitting, the
seemed either grotesque or just
ight. Taking the solemn vows in front of
al those freaks with their brains fried
or clubbed senseless by Quaaludes and
then doing a set afterward seemed a little
odd to some people: but then, it seemed
at some level to be just what rock "n' roll
is supposed to be about, so showbiz and
nuts that it became a beautiful state-
ment about how deeply rock has pene-

trated some lives. And й was also
something to do.
"There was, of course, a moment when

it looked 1 the whole thing would
ll through. "That was on the preced-
ing Monday, when—you guessed it—Sly
failed to show up at the Municipal
Building to get the wedding license.
But it was only his old habit of getting
there late—an hour and a half after his
scheduled arrival. But he did make it, and
that meant the wedding would be legal—
no matter what else it would be.

By Tuesday night he was calm enough
about Ш to spend the entire night in
the studio. At seven A.M., he phoned his
manager to wish him good night. Wednes.
day. the day of the event, dawned cha
otic and stayed that way right through
the reception, which was to be held on
the Starlight Roof of the Waldorf. Much
of the turmoil was due to thc consider
able presence of the media. Over 100
photographers asked for and didn't get
photo passes, but more than 50 did—a
little army from Newsweek (four camera
men with a photo editor to direct them),
three from Tine and equivalent numbers
from A.P., U.P.L., the rock press, etc. And
there were six television camera crews of
least four people each. At the Garden
on Wednesday night, they were all mill-
ig around backstage and on the sides of
the stage, because there wasn't a pit in
front of it where they could do what
they do.

Backstage was also packed with Eddic
Kendricks and band (the opening

(concluded on page 208)

was that a smile on fortuneS face or a frown seen upside down?

fiction By warner law соло 1 srorren the plastic credit-card case
lying helplessly on the sidewalk in front of the Hollywood drugstore, 1 knew this
was going to be one of my lucky days. 1 casually kicked it up to the building, dropped
a pack of cigarettes on it and picked them up together.

Not until 1 was safely back in my grubby little aparunent did I examine
my find. There was a driver's license issued to William L. Wilson, who lived on
Sunset way out near the ocean. There was a Master Charge card with Wilson's
signature on its back. Also in the accordion-type holder were credit cards for
five oil companies and four Los Angeles-area departmentstore chains. Not a single
card had expired. What more could anybody wish for? (continued on page 156)

ILLUSTRATION BY CHARLES SHIELDS

E. ed
АЯ) yd

У, MIGHT think that

a girl who was born in
Panama, schooled in
California, New Jersey

and Spain and who has

also lived in the Philippines
might want to plant her-
self somewhere and keep
her feet on the ground. Not
Ester Corde, True, since
1967, she's resided in

San Diego. But “Home,

as Ester says, "is the skies."
"The skies of Pacific South-
west Airlines, to be exact,
for whom she works as a
stewardess. “I take a lot of
pride in my job," says
Ester, an attitude that's
impressed her employers

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARO FEGLEY

"Cordet doesn't sound Pan-
amanian," says Panama-born
Ester, "but I'm part French."

enough to promote her to
in-flight instructor and
assign her additional duties
as a public-relations repre-
sentative in her off hours.
"I love everything about
flying,” she says. “There's
always something new

to learn.” Apparently so,
because what's Ester's
favorite [ree-time activity?
Flying lessons. “Unfortu-
nately,” she says, “I haven't
taken all the instruction

I necd"—the prin-

cipal reason being those
aforementioned PR dates.
Which have led to sev-

eral free lance modeling
jobs (including a pair

of TV commercials), which,
in turn, have revived in
Ester a long-dormant desire.
to act. "In high school,” she
recalls, “I was a member
of an acting group. Many
of my classmates, like
me, were children of Serv-
icemen and, although we
read more serious things,
we most enjoyed pui
Service comedies.” Not sur-
prisingly, Ester's dramatic
preferences tend toward
the comic. “I'd prefer noth-
ing better than someday to
be described by moviere- _
viewers as ‘a gifted comic
actress’ like Barbra Strei-
sand.” And, like Streisand,
Ester wants to sing,
although she admits she'll
"need a lot of voice coach-
ing" before she'll ever
give singing or musical

ning movie actresses: I
wouldn't mind starting
at six AM, Аза
stewardess, I've done that
many times.” And, after
all, the name Ester

does mean star

“Of all н

he ресе
< [ER E n ihe
! Spanish,”

“Although Гуе lived in the U. S. nearly all my life, I'm still Panamanian. But I've finally decided to become an American citizen."

On a flying lesson with a friend, Paul (below), Ester boards
the Cessna awaiting them at San Diego's Lindbergh Field. "I
haven't soloed,” she admits, "but next time | get ta copilot.”

Aboard her Pacific Southwest flight to San Francisco, Ester
(above) demonstrates emergency procedures. After serving
dinner, she takes a few moments to chat with passengers.

&
E
=
s
=

PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE OF THEMONTH
E

"I think this is а good time for me to be considering a career as an actress,” says Ester. "It used to be you couldn't even
dream about being in a motion picture unless you had a light complexion. But now the movies are really opening up."

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

А politician who had just arrived in hell was
being shown around the place. Passing а pit
filled’ with unspeakable slime, he saw John
Dean covered up to his waist and Haldeman
and Ehrlichman submerged up to their necks,
but then, a litle farther оп. John Mitchell
standing only kneedeep in thé stuff. "Hey,"
said the politician to his tour guide. “how come
ole Mitch rates such preferential treatment?"
“Don't worry about it,” replied the attendant
devil. "He's standing оп Nixon's shoulders."

Te was a blind date, but the handsome bachelor
ed по effort to impress the girl—dinner
with cha ne, the theater, dancing . . . and
then, finally, the fellow's apartment and soft
music and candlelight and more wine. “Just
how.” the girl asked drea y from the дер!
ol the couch, "did Bob describe me in sett
up our date?

UWell—er" the man began, "he told me
you were pretty in а perky way, were an excel-
lent conversationalist, had an attention-get
figure

“But he didn't,” broke in the girl as she coyly
undid his zipper, "say anything about my being
а pushover?”

Ош и

cunnilinguist as а Mi

span

hed Dictionary defines millionaire
mufler.

A rather poor student named Gowdy
11 heart is salaciously rowdy:
Though he never gets A's,
His magnificent lays
Make his dates rate him magna cum laude?

When ihe executive came home from work one
evening, he found his small son sitting on the
front steps, crying, The father asked what was
wronj па the boy said, “That Mr. Cole next
door is а mean man

“Why?” the father inquired.

"Because he brought Mommy some ice cream
and didn't give me any!" sobbed the son.

"Ice cr Are you sure e cream?"
asked the man.

"Sure Im sure.” wailed the youngster,
“cause 1 heard Mommy tell him to hurry up
belore it got solt.”

And then there's the young th
fondly known to the men in the office as
Secretariat —not because she's a good secretary
but because she's a wonderful mount.

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines brownie
points as boobs on a girl scout.

An M.D, who was late for a golf date was rath-
er curt with patients whose phone calls kept
delaying him. The next day, his nurse said,
“Doctor, several people жеге upset when уо!
cut them short yesterday.” At that point, a man
who had been sitting quietly within earshot
in the reception room got up and departed
hurriedly.

Who м

ian.

sked the physi

"Someone named Johnson," answered his
nurse, "who wanted to speak to you about
circumcision.

Don't you think 1 look younger without a br;
simpered the aging trend follower.

I must admit you do, dear,” replied her hus
band, putting down the sports section. “It's
drawn all the wrinkles out of your face.”

What's disturbing many priests and nuns these
days, we understand, is cloisterphobia.

һе been getting a lot of complaints from clients
about you.” said the madam to onc of her

girls.

Listen pped the prostitute, "I give
my Johns as good a time as any other girl in
the place!

"Maybe yov do in most ways,” the madam
retorted, "but there's just this one thing—stop
whistling while you work!"

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines bicuspid
хап A.C./ D.C. spittoon.

The police had just deposited ап unconscious
fellow in the hospital emergency room and the
intern in charge asked for а rundown on the
circumstances. "He was parked with this girl,
see,” said one of the cops, "and the girl claims
that he suddenly began to fondle her breasts
and she became upset
And then what happened?"
“She lost control of herself and bit his penis.

Heard а funny one lately? Send it on а post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg.. 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
TII. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

“Remember, what's an unnatural act for you
isa natural act [от me.”

‘Thus the principle which inspires
hunting for sport is that of artificial
ly perpetuating, as a possibility for
man, a situation which is archaic in
the highest degree: that early state in
which, already human, he still lived
within the orbit of animal existence.
— ORTEGA Y GASSET

T shot him. I shot him nine times
with the .290 Swift. I hit him every
time, and-every time the bullet splat-
tered on his outside. One time I hit
him in the face and took away his
lower jaw and still he didn't die. He
jus bled and began to зпар fruit-
lesly with half а face at his own
dragging guts — ROBERT RUARK

Tr gs FIGHT дм, Monday, February 19,
1973—George Washington and Eric
Whitehouse's birthday. Outside, the tem-

perature is zero degrees and the sky is -

hard, dear blue. Inside, Web Keefe is
cooking breakfast. He hobbles around
the small kitchen on a cane, pouring
orange juice, getting out silverware, fry-
ing eggs. He is a big man with gray hair
and a bad hip who doesn’t look his 63
years. He has the same loose, unlocalized

article
By CHARLES GAINES

when you take all of the

* chance and all of the luck out
of hunting, what you're
left with із... slaughter

=
©
а
b
Gd
a
R

120 Gr:

look of strength. and the same sort of
tough, shrewd [ace that John Wayne has.
Which is maybe why his voice surprises
as it does. Web's voice is a pliant, nasal
croon: an old woman's voice.

He is owner-manager of Wild Hill
Hunting Preserve in Ely, Vermont, Be-
cause of his hip and his age, he does the
domestic chores. Tough face and all, Web
is the one who buys the food, makes the
beds and cooks the meals. In the living
room, his partner, 28-year-old Bill Rich.
ter, is doing his part of the work: man-
talking with the paying customers. He
throws Jim Whitehouse's rifle up to his
shoulder. It is a set-triggered overand-
under Heym, built in Germany. The
bottom barrel is 8mm x 57mm; the top is
a shotgun barrel that shoots 16-gauge
solid-lead Brenneke slugs.
ice," says Bill. “Из good to have
that slug backing you up with these
boar. .

“Bill,” croons Web from the kitchen.
Bill listens, stock to jowl. “Bill . .. could
you give me a hand with these plates?"

Bill and Web go way back—22 years
back, to. New York, when Bill started
school in the Westchester County system,
where Web was a superintendent. Web
liked the blond German kid's style: the
way he enjoyed fighting bigger boys and
loved contact sports (he was all-state in
football and a state-champion wrestler
in high school) During the summers,
Web гап a boys’ camp in Ely and exten.
sions of it in Montana and Canada; and
a5 soon as the boy was old enough, he
took him up to work at the Canadian
camp. Bill devoured most of what there
was to learn there about the wild со
try and how to hunt it. Then, hankering
after grizzly and caribou, he got a pilot's
license and a job as а hunting guide i
Alaska for a while. In the meantime, he
and Web had gone into business. In
1959. they drove to Tennessee in a truck
and brought oack nine Russian hoar to
Vermont. With the boar and $15,000
worth of fence, they figured on starting
the first commercial hunting preserve in
New England. But problems developed.
They had no preserve permit; and the
town of West Fairlee, spooked by vi-
sions of mean big pigs chuffing up front
yards, voted the importation of boar ille
gal. Web and Bill had to execute the
animals. Shortly afterward—with some
help from the governor—the town
changed its mind, the game commission
gave them a permit and Wild Hill рге-
serve was in business.

Web's breakfast is caten at two tables
by a picture window. The house, a lodge
for hunters in thc winter and Web's
home in the summer, stands at the top of
a hill overlooking undulant Connecticut
River Valley country. At the bottom of
the hill by the road is a large pen with
hay spread on the snow near its center.

ing peacefully in it are a couple of

dozen sika and fallow deer, dainty, tiny-
hoofed ruminants from Asia. Down the
road is a similar pen full of Russian boar.
These are Wild Hill's stock in trade, As
he eats, Eric studies the penned deer
through the window. He has just fin-
ished fixing a 1.506 variable Zeiss scope
to a beautifully crafted 7x57 Ferlach
rifle. Today is his 15th birthday. He is a
quiet, chubby boy with a vulnerable face.
His father and his older brother Jimmy
are here for boar. Eric is supposed to kill
а fallow deer, and the biggest thing Ве
has ever shot at before is a rabbit.

Web leans back in his chair, eying
Eric's brother. "Now, remember, if you
get а shot, make sure you do the job."
immy looks back at him: 17, dressed in
air of mooschide pants his father has
given him. “A wounded boar is your
boar,” says Web.

“That's right,” agrees Bill.

Jim Whitehouse, Sr., rises from the
table. An oil-company executive nearing
50, he is a likable man given to piercing
looks and crisp hunting talk that glints
with specifics: velocities, reticles, trajec-
tories. Before moving to Connecticut, he
lived and hunted in England and Germa-
ny, where he bought the eccentric set of
guns he has with him and the moosehide
knickers and Tyrolean hat he wears. He
and his sons arrived last night for a two-
day stay. This is his first American pre-
serve hunt and he's not sure what to
expect. He is sure that he by God wants
Eric to get а deer on his birthday and that
he wants a couple of boar heads for
mounts. When asked why he picked a pre-
serve to introduce his sons to hunting ani-
mals, he says, “I wanted them to get a sure
chance on dangerous game. The wild
hunting's too Шу." That's another thing
Whitehouse is sure of. He needs none of
Web and Bill's prepping to convince him
that wild boar are mortally dangerous. He
doesn’t need the story about the hound
thrown 30 feet in the air, ripped open
from throat to tail, nor the ones about
how many times Web and Bill have been
attacked and cut. He believes.

He examines the .44-magnum Smith &
Wesson that Bill carries the woods
strapped to his leg, the short arm that
would be responsible for stopping any
charging animal that he and his sons
were unable to stop. It is a chunky, for-
midable weapon, capable of putting a
bullet through an automobile engine
block. Whitehouse seems pleased with it,
just as he is obviously pleased with the
man who totes For nobody ever

looked more like a hunting guide is sup-
posed to look than Bill Richter docs

With his blond curls, his clcar blue eyes
and Tab Hunter features, with his full-
back's build and strong smile, he looks
like a lot of things ought to look, includ-
i ms in World War

Whitehouse hands the gun back to Bill.
“Tell me,” he asks resonantly, “you've

;—what’s the second
g you take into the

done a lot of hunti
most important t
woods:

"Well" says Bill, considering,
would depend on where | am...”

“Toilet paper, my friend,” booms Jim.
“Toilet paper.”

Everyone is standing now, pulling on
boots and gloves. Web wishes the boys
luck and the group files outside behind
Bill, who has put on an old duckhunting
hat and a patched parka but no gloves.
Eric, who is last in line and who will sce
blood running from an I's nose for
the first time today, wears a skinning
knife at his hip.

There are nea 1000 commercial
hunting and shooting preserves in this
country now. Every year there are more.
Basically, they are all state-licensed bu:
nesses where pen-raised birds or fenced-
in game is kept or released on private
land for hunters who pay, often through
the nose, for whatever they shoot.

What they shoot and what they pay
Can vary considerably. Some preserves
deal only with upland game birds—
pheasant, quail, chukar partridge, etc—
that are raised in pens and stuck under
bushes just before a hunt. Others get
into ducks: tame mallards, usually, h
are made, in a variety of ways, to fiy over
shooters in blinds. The going rate at
these places is two to ten dollars for an

land bird and five to ten Гога duck.

‘Then there are the big game preserves
like Wild Hill. Most of them maintain a
on of native and distinctly
animals in fenced acreage of
ng size, say from 100 to 75,000 acres.
A place called Hunters Haven Fast in
Walland, Tennessce, for instance, has 455
acres behind fence. There you can hunt
black and brown bear, Russian boar,
mouflon, Barbados and aoudad sheep,

, fallow, red and axis deer, elk, goat
d turkey. Only five of those animals
are anything like native to the United
States. The rest are known in the trade,
appropriately, as exotics. They are the
Tomance of preserve hunting, animals
you used to have to be Hemingway to
shoot, and that's where the money is.

Let's say you happen to have always
had a craving for a go at black buck—a
medium-sized black-and-white antelope
with spiraling horns, a native of India
and one of the most elegant of all plains
animals. Well, all you have to do is pack
it on down to the Y. О. Ranch in Moun-
tain Home, Texas, and you can shoot all
the black buck you want for $750 a crack.
"There are more black buck there than in
all of India, where they are now protected,
(Or there used to be. Severe weather in
1973 killed many of them. They won't be
hunted again at Y.O. until 1975.) For
$1000 at the У. О. Ranch, you could kill
an ibex or a snow-white ram or, for less

(continued on page 178)

modern living

the music goes
round and round
and it comes out here

EPI's Model 1000 (right) is
one holf of o nice рой. The
Tower's four 1” tweeters ond
four 8” woofers radiote the
sound in all directions equolly.
There is no way to detect

by listening where the music
is coming from, so they put
these invisible speokers in
very visible 6%’ cabinets
that weigh 180 pounds ond
cost $1000 apiece.

The Equasound 2 (obove left)
stacks а 10” woofer, a 4”
midrange driver, a 1^ and two
2" tweeters into a 42" cabinet
that costs $329. The RTR Indus-
tries’ 280 DR Speaker (above
center) hos а 10” woofer and
two 2%” tweeters on eoch of
three sides, plus onother 10”
woofer planor-looded near the
bottom of а 39” rosewood

122 cobinet. Cost. $329.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SHIG IKEOA

The Infinity Monitor (cbove
right) offers three distinct

drive systems—o 12” woofer,

а 4%” midrange dome ond

an ice-croom-cone-shoped
Walsh tweeter—for $429.
Design Acoustics’ D-12 Speoker
(feft) holds nine 2V
tweeters, a 5" midronge unit
ond а 10” woofer in o pedestal-
mounted dodecahedron that
stonds 30” and costs $425.

"T à
MAYBE YOU THINK that ers should be felt, not
heard. You put on a Led Zeppelin album, jack up the
bass and relate to the music the way a tackling dummy
relates toa linebacker. Maybe you like classical music.
You put on a stri juartet and get off on high-
uray tone MAS the local d nuts. What. +
ever; it's clear that sound systems—and good sj rs

in particular—aren't a luxury; they're а meret |

_ Ohm Fs (second ond fourth
speokers above) use а Walsh
cone that pulses radially.
There is no front or back to
the sound ond one unit —

T
*

v
<
Ау

fiction By STEPHEN MINOT

thosewhom the bishop in blue jeans hath joined together, let no mom put asunder

T hree-Part
Harmony

нЕ HAD RATHER expected hi
mother to make some kind
of protest at the wedding
She might simply refuse to
talk to anyone beforehand
or tap her foot in anger dur-
ing the ceremony or remain
g in the back of the
a slim раг in her
longest gold holder. He was
braced for something like

that. But a tantrum! And
one of her class-A, star-stud-
ded, gilt-edged, glorioso tan.
trums,

at that. Too much!
sister Мер had
ned him the week before
that they might be heading
for some heavy scenes. At 31,
she was five years older than
Benedict and had had five
more years to observe the

m they called

phenome
Mother.

No cozy nicknames for
Wilhelmina Blessing. Not
one of her three husbands
had managed to utter the
slightest. variation on that
name—both fist and last
For the two children it was
Mother and it was to be
enunciated clearly. Only
once had Benedict tried an
affectionate shortening.

и on his 21st birth-
day—some fivc ycam ago
now. His birth had falle

the day before Christmas,
giving the three of them a
double celebration. ("Yours
was practically a virgin
birth, И you know what 1
mean," she used to say when
he was far too young to
know what on earth she
meant.) Double celebration
but half the gifts, of course.

At any rate, the three of
them had been drinking
margaritas since carly after-
noon, chatting and watching
the sun sette slowly into
the atmospheric coze over
ting for his
thday dinner to be sent
up from Young Foo's, when
he proposed а somewhat
blurred but heartfelt toast:
“It hasn't always been easy,
he said, glass raised,
we've had some royal battles,
but through it all. you've
been our mom.”

“Our what?"

“Our... .." Sobriety washed
over Benedict like а cold
wave. The word he had

tered was ап obscenity. In
the awful silence, they could
hear distant sirens. Some-
where a fire was raging.

“ОГ all the vulgar, de-
meaning terms,” she said,
voice trembling beautifully.

“Mother,” Meg said, “he

PAINTING BY CHRISTINA RAMBERG

"t mean

did и was a slip
of the tongue.”

“Didn't mean и? Why
would he say it if he didn't
mean it? Since when am I
"Мот" to anyone? 15 that
what you call me behind m
Thars my mom over
she's а housewife’
Well, let me tell you, Rene-
dict Blessing. 1 can take а
lot of blows and stabs in the
back, and God knows 1 had
to with your father, but
there are certain vulgarisms
1 will not tolerate.”

At times like that, Вепе-
dict was reminded of the
fact that as а girl his mother
had been given voice lessons
nd was actually in а Broad-
way musical once before her
first marriage moved her up
to a higher station. Yes, she
did have a gorgeous voice

But he couldn't say that
just then. He had other lines
to deliver.

“Lam sorry," he s

“He is sorry.” Meg

"It's the salt in the drinks,
It drives men to

held out both hands, invit-
ing him to мер forward
Then, holding his temples,
she kissed him on the brow

125

PLAYBOY

the mouth. "Dear boy,
, and the food

and then on
you're a charmer," she sai
arrived.

But for all his charm, he had not fig-
ured out a way of telling her that he was
at long last about to be married. That
bothered him. In addition, it was on his
shoulders to make the arrangements for
the service as well. Arabella, his intend-
ed, was once a sculptor but now called
herself а constructionist. She worked
largely in plastics. At that moment, she
was in the middle of a new construction
that required all her waking hours, so
Benedict had agreed to take care of ev-
erything. Time had not been a problem.
As assistant art editor on a women's mag-
azine, he could take a day off for a cause
like this. But the responsibi of it all
had left him somewhat unnerved. “Му
firs marriage" he said sheepishly to
Meg, who had been through it twice al-
ready. With typical kindness, she agreed
to go with him to the church and meet
the minister.

105 a long cab ride from the West
le, Manhattan, to Brooklyn Heights,
and he was apprehensive. Meg must
have sensed that, for she stroked his
hand, saying. “Next week at this time,
you'll be settled into your new life and
you'll hardly know the difference."

When they arrived at the address, it
turned out to be a brownstone. “This is
a church?” she said.

“You've been out of touch.”

Actually, he hadn't been exactly in
touch, either. Born and raised in the
city, neither of them had been inside a
church in their lives. But they had seen
pictures. And Saint Patrick's this was
пог.

But his beloved Arabella had heard
that this was indeed a church and that
the Freedom Under Cod group was "de-
vout and legit"—her phrasing And,
more to the point, they were willing.

Meg and Benedict mounted the stairs,
holding hands. Не was grateful for the
support. He had never met an honest-to-
God minister.

The man who answered the door was
reassuring. "Bless you," he said, taking
both their hands. He was round-faced,
bearded and wore а sloppy gray sweater,
Levis and sneakers. “I'm Bishop Elling
ham and you must be Benedict and
Arabella.”

“Not exactly," Benedict said.
lot exactly?"

“Well, I mean, this is my sister, Meg."
He put his arm around her in an allec-
tionate hug.

"Sister? Far out."

"She just came along for the ride," Ben-
edict said, abruptly dropping his arm.

“A stand-in?"
"Aren't you sort of young to be a

126 bishop?" Meg asked.

“OL course. But so is our group. And
5o"—he put both hands on Meg's shoul-
ders for emphasis—"was. Jesus.”

‘Then he gave them а tour of the
church. The two first-floor rooms had
been joined to make a pleasant meeting
arca in glistening white. On Sundays
and Wednesday evenings, he told them,
they had services in which they bor-
rowed rituals from all religions. And on
other evenings, they had. group-herapy
and encounter sessions. They liked to
К of themselves as an extended
family.

peaking of fami
denly, “we have a kind of problem.”
“Everyone does," Bishop Effringham
said cheerfully. "Every family is a cluster
of problems. Every family is weird.
He raised his hand like a figu
Greek icon, letting his words sink in.
“But with а good family, all those weird
needs fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.

“I didn't say we were w
said, drawing herself up a
say that at all. It's just that Mother used
to be on the stage. She has a certain the-
atrical presence. It can be a problem."

“What kind of a problemi

“She might make a scene,” Benedict
said.
Splendid," Bishop Effringham said,
clasping his hands together. "А marriage
is a scene, With Freedom Under God,
everyone is free to add to the drama.”

“I don't think you understand," Meg
said.

“Be not afraid, child. Life is one enor-
mous psychodrama.

That night, Benedict made a full rc-
port to his beloved Arabella and to
Tulip. а young Chinese girl who shared
Arabella’s spacious loft.

"Hold this," Arabella said, pointing to
à length of red-plastic tubing that was to
be bent around a pylon of dear Plexi-
glas, forming a coil. "So what's with this
bishop? Is he legit?" She showed Tulip
how to stroke the plastic tubing with an
electric heating pad, making it pliable.

“Oh, he's legit,” Benedict said. “He
showed me his card. They have a whole
group going there, you know. Maybe we
should attend,"

"To hell with that" Arabella said
mildly. "But I'm not knocking them if
they'll do the service. 1 want it done
right, you know. No hokey stuff."

"No hokey stuf,” Benedict
"Genuine."

The smell of hot plastic wafted about
him. Tulip stroked and he bent the
tubing into place and Arabella super-

5," Meg said sud-

said.

vised, muttering, “Good, good. Easy does
75 no rush.”
Who's coming?" Tulip asked.
“Just us and a small group from the

gallery and, of course, Benedict's sister
and dear mother.”
"Don't be nasty.”

“I wasn't. I'm never, but never, nasty
She's a magnificent thing. A Happening,
that woman is. Tulip, dear, don't rush it.
Gently. Just a bit more right there. Bene.
dict, lift it just a bit. Oh, good. Very
good. You really are marvdous.

The day of the wedding turned out to
be one of those raw, gray days when the
sun starts setting at noon. The slush in
the streets had crusted over and so had
Mrs. Blessing's rage. Meg had finally vol
untccred to tell her the dread news and
her reaction was not at all as bad as ci-
ther of them had feared. After a day of
hysterics in which she had to be sedated
by the family doctor, she adopted a role
of chilly disdain.

Benedict had spent the previous night
at Arabclla's loft, which was not the first
е, but it was a bad tactic, nonetheless.
His mother had said several times that
she would rather see her son move in
with “that plastic freak" than actually
get married, but consistency was not her
forte and every time he stayed down-
town, she went into a sultry rage.
erfectly charming of you to come
uptown,” she said to him with a flip of
her head just as soon as he had entered
the apartment. "I thought perhaps you
were expecting me to look up this al-
leged ‘church’ in the Yellow Pages and
find myself a cab."

"It's а tense day,” Meg said. "Let's not
get dramatic.

“TH say it’s a tense day," her voice be-
ginning to take on the old musichall vol
ume. "My son marrying an amazon
plastic freak."

"She's a sculptress" Benedict said
steadily, selecting the traditional term
for his mother's benefit. "She works in
stainless steel, Plexiglas and polyethyl-
enes. She happens to be an expert in
the bonding of heterogencous thermo-
plastic resins. She's published articles on
heterogencous bonding agents."

"Sounds obscenc to 3

“I's not exactly your field, Mother
But you know that she's taught at the
New School. And she's shown uptown.”

1 bet she has. But not her plastics."

“Mother,” Meg said sternly, “
vulgar.”

Mrs. Blessing shifted from
s. pressing the back of her 1
brow and dos
I've been through—i
to the eyes of a psychi

The wedding itself was a beautiful,
restrained aff The bride wore a flow-
ing Renaissance gown in wine velvet
with a daring scoop neck and full sleeves
gathered at. the wrists, and a wide-
brimmed hat in matching material. The
entire ensemble served to accentuate
her dramatic height.

(continued on page 206)

would bring tears
ist"

128

IN RUSSIAN, a great nation still waits
“TO BE SILENT” : history with all its power,
IS AN performing the act of
ACTIVE VERB го), puzzling silence

article By HERBERT GOLD

once AGAIN the Soviet Union, that great
preoccupying hi fills my hours.
Long ago I studied “friendly Russian,”
singing the old songs about wide plains,
willing maidens and birch-filled forests;
1 was trying to be a good liaison with
our gallant Soviet allies. In volleyball
tournaments with Russian officers, we
wanted to win and so did they, and we
also wanted to be friendly—all of us
wanted that—and the friendship was
precarious but worth working for.
Russkies and Yankees both like to
laugh, yes? Drink, yes? Other things,
yes, oh, yes—let us like all those

things together, plus Pushkin

and Tolstoy and, sure, Jack London
and Mikhail Sholokhov. why

not? And volleyball, too.

When this war was over, we would
all enjoy peace and love and remember
how we sang Pólyushka Pólyeh to-
gether during blackout times.

And ing in the airport
lounge in San Francisco and read.
ing in the (continued on page 150)

iow Lam wai

. BUNNIES Of 1974

R BUNNY WATCHERS, it's
been a very good year
Not only could every-

bodys favorite two-legged

e couontails be seen in their

` natural habitat, at Playboy

Clubs and Club-Hotels from

" San Francisco to London, but

f them—each of whom Вай
been voted Bunny of the Year

from her home hutch—entered
viewers’ homes in some 80
cities, via a colorful television
spectacular. The 1974 Playboy

e Bunny of the Year Pagean
syndicated nationwide,
a smash success—beati
such tough compe
Saturday-night primetime [a-
vorites in several markets.
Featured in the hourlong show,
besides the Bunny contestants,
were host Don Adams, veteran
entertainer George Burns, the
Ike and Tina Turner Revue Se
and the comedy team of Jack ШШШ
Burns and Avery Schreiber.
The panel of judges, too, №
consisted of celebrities: syn
dicated columnist Earl Wilson,
pro-football star Larry Csonka,
comedian Bill Cosby, arti
LeRoy Neiman, author-critic
Rex Reed, motion-picture sta
‘Timothy Bottoms and singer-
actress Connie Stevens. After
(text concluded on page 140)

A 1971 vacation from her native Florida convinced Beth Mortin (far left) that San Fran-
cisco was her kind of town. her is Nicole Ciser, formerly of Atlanta and London. “Always
wanted to be a stew,” says Jet Bunny Karen Ring (above), “but this job surpasses my wild-
est dreams.” Atlanta Bunny of the Year Karin Sims (below) and a friend recently streaked
through а restaurant, а theater and а bar—" where it was so crowded nobody noticed us.” Oh?

it’s that time again—
a pictorial portfolio
of international cottontails

Sorry about thet, Popeye: Bunnies Condy Collins of St. Louis (above) and Sue Morks of Miami (below left), when we queried them about their
lly-they detest spinach. (Whot Candy does like, she says straightfacedly, is fried green tomatoes.)
* skindiving to collect specimens for her salt-water aquarium. Kim Behrend of Phoenix (below righi) spends her spare time
she wants ta become o veterinarian. Less sure of her goal, Los Angeles’ Vicki Cunningham

likes and dislikes, responded ide
OF duty, Sue дое:
raising and showing Doberman pinschers; eventually,
(opposite) has signed up far an elaborate battery of aptitude tests ot UCLA. Selfishly, we hope she sticks around the Playboy Club awhile.

Last time we phoned Randi Stewart of Great
Gorge (above), she answered oll out of breath:
She'd been out digging in her morigold
bed. Patti Begley (below), when not trouncing
Cincinnations at bumper pool, plays baseball.

Konsos City Bunny Niki Gentemann (abave)
оррозез women’s lib: “Why should any women
get down off her pedestal and be man's
equal?” November 1973 Playmate Monica
Tidwell (below) has become a Chicago Bunny.

we sor

"| wanted to be o fashion model. but they told me | wos too lorge-busted,” soys Denver Bunny Linda Durst (opposite). Foshion's loss
ovr goin. Moxine Fox of Manchester (above left), one of Playboy's three British outposts (others: London and Portsmouth) is an aspiring

actress who's oppeored with the local Library Theatre group. Moxine tells us, inexplicobly, that she doesn’t core for men with money. (Line

forms to the left, poor boys.) That's Dolly Ryan of Playboy’s Club-Hotel in Ocho Rios, Jamaica, in seeworthy Bunny bikini ot right above

the pensive beauty below is Cyndee Russell, o cottontail at the new Los Angeles Playboy Club in Century City whose avocotion is corpenti

Boston cottontail Aleesha Ellis (above), who's quite obviously а spellbinder in her own right, is into the study of witchcraft. The

enchantment Chicago's Angie Chester (below) wove around the judges c! the Bunny Beauty Pageant was, she vows, nonaccult. But it worked:
She was named Intemational Bunny of the Year in the competition, seen via syndicated television around most of the country. Another
stor of the pageant was Detroit's entry Terry Bellant (apposite, below), who confesses that during the rehearsals and taping sessions,

she fell head over heels in love with one of the guest artists, veteran showman George Burns—whom she labels “an absolute doll.”

Boltimore's Kristi Motera labave) holds а degree
in eorly-childhoad education fram Towson State
College and wants to open her awn preschool-
To do that, she'd have ta rise early, o hobit

Laura Misch of New Orleans (right) can't stand.

A chance ta work at Lake Geneva led Illinois coed Greta Marshall (above left) to shelve her books far a spell. Also considering а change is
New York's Barbara Mack (above right); you've seen her recently in a Playtex bra commercial, but, says she, “I’ve been modeling since | was
nine, and I'm abaut ready for retirement." Libby Saleh (below) Bunny-hopped through six other Clubs befare lighting in Los Angeles—where
new friends hove found she’s a demon poker player. "Му brother taught me when we меге kids. The loser go! to wash the dishes, so | had to

be good—or I'd spend all my time at the sink.” Montreal's Celine Ratelle (opposite) is saving her Bunny money to finance a trip to Europe.

PLAYBOY

due deliberation, they came up with
a winner to fit the gold-lamé costume
reserved for the International Bunny of
the Year—1974: Angie Chester, a 21-year-
old native Chicagoan.

‘Angie, a Chicago Playboy Club Bunny
since 1972, will spend a good part of her
as International Bunny of

Club-Hotels in the United States, Cana-
da, Jamaica and England. After that,
she'd like to give showbiz a whirl. She
already has, in fact, having landed a
small part in Three the Hard Way, star-

ng Jim Brown and Fred V
“It was just a walk-on, but
beginning," Angie says. A screen test with
Playboy Productions—one of her many
Bunny of the Year prizes—may give her
another boost up the entertainment lad-
"And," she remarks philosophi-
cally, "if I don't make it, I can always go
back to school and become an X-ray
technician."

Angie's runnersup for the top Bunny
tide were Debra Whitaker, Cin:
Ginette Pelissier, Montreal (named Miss
Photogenic by the Los Angeles Press
Photographers Association in а pageant
preliminary event); Kacey Cobb, Los An-
geles; and Nancy Turner, Miam
Bunny contestants themselves voted one
of their number, Magali Brajdic from
Miami Beach, Miss Congeniality. Other
finalists were, from Atlanta, Karin Sims:
Baltimore, Sheila Ross; Boston, Rencc
Ann Worthington; Denver, Susan Sturm;
Detroit, Terry Bellant; Great Gorge, Aly-
son Merkel; Jamaica, Judy Dalrympl
Kansas City, Niki Gentemann: Lake
neva, Mary Hardt: London, Fleur Patter-
son; Manchester, Sharon Longworth: New
Orleans, Debi Brown; New York, Naomi
Camilla Johnson; Ports-
mouth, Jo Campbell: St. Louis, Jackie
Sabatino; and San Francisco, Jan Seratt.

Playboy's is not the only beauty
pageant that's been drawing cotton-
tail entrants. Portsmouth, England, Bun-
ny Lynne Plested, as а matter of fact,
started her winning ways at the age of
three, when she won a baby contest. She's
since garnered such titles as Miss Fareham,
Miss Southsea and Miss Southern Telev
sion and has represented Portsmouth in
the finals of the Miss England, Miss Brit-
ain and Miss United Kingdom TV
beauty contests. New York's Karen Hill,
Miss Bucks County, was first runncrup
for the title of Miss Pennsylvania in last
years Miss Hemisphere contest; and
Great Gorge Bunny Renée Walitis was
Miss Teenage New Jersey in 1973. Lake
Geneva Bunny Greta Marshall was a final
ist in the 1974 Miss Ilinois-Universe pag-
cant. Randi Stewart, another Great Gorge
Bunny, and Kim Bowers from Atlanta
also made the finals in teen beauty
comtests.

Nor is Angie Chester by any mi
the only Bunny to break into show bu

140 nes. Los Angeles cottontail Jan Hughes

has appeared in the films Uptown Sat-
urday Night and Соју. She also played
a TV role in The Odd Couple, as did
fellow Hollywood Bunnies Rosemary
Melendez and Tricia Williams. Hutch
sister Ninette Bravo has been seen on
three TV series— The Streets of San Fran-
cisco, Owen Marshall, Counselor at Law
and The FBI—as well as in the screen
feature 4n Act of Vengeance. Due to
appear in Funny Lady, Barbra Streisand's
sequel to Funny Girl, is another L.A. Bun
ny, Brenda “В. J." Miller, a veteran of
TV exposure on the Mannix series. Down
New Orleans way, Vanesa Hutchinson
landed the role of voodoo queen Marie
Laveau in the film Marianne, which was
shot on location in Louisiana. When the
Banacek series shot an episode in Boston,
local couontails Dina McDermott, Ann
Marie Messano and Fabien Walters were
ed for on-camera duty. And Den-
Cheryl French, who jumps and shows
horses for fun, worked in Barquero with
Lee Van Cleef. You may not have recog-
nized her onscreen, though—she was a
stunt woman. Working on the other side
of the camera is Boston. Bunny Jennifer
Ellis, who directed а Chamberlayne Jun-
ior College production of Ibsen's Hedda
Gabler on Boston's television channel two.
Modeling is a field attracting. increas-
ing numbers of Bunnies. One Bunny who
has made it to the pages of PLAYBOY is
New Orleans’ Laura Misch, featured in
Divers Pleasures on pages 141,
143 of our June issue.
asked me if that was Mark Spitz
pictures with me," Laura reports. "Of
course, it was а male model, but if they
want to think it's Mark, I let ‘em believe
it." Since that PLAYBov layout was photo-
graphed in the Dominican Republic,
Laura got an expensepaid trip to the
Caribbean out of the deal something
she considers an additional plus afforded

by her Playboy connections
Six very special cottontails—the Jet
Bunnies who май Hugh M. Hefner's Big
Bunny DC9 jet—are up in the air on the
job a good part of the time. Current ment
bers of that high-flying contingent are
Anne Denson, Maynell Thomas, Joy Tar-
hell, Sharon Gwin, Karen Ring and Sue
Huggy. All have gone through а
hostess school as well as Playboy Bu
ning and are based at the Ch
ayboy Club when not on outofaown
assignment.
One nominee for busiest Bunny of the
year might be Great Gorge's Alyson Mer-
kel. She's the featured vocalist with her
own group, A-T & Т. which has been ap-
i -Hotel's Playmate Bar:

142 апі

ght-member Виппуси
of four ten-minute programs
io station WNNJ in nearby New-
ach week (two olfering travel tips
and two presenting book reviews); and
she’s studying for her third-cass FCC
license in preparation for a career in

broadcasting. All this, of course, in addi-
n to her regular Bunny assignments.
"Social life?" asks Alyson. "None. Don't
have time" Former hutchmate Waren
Smith. now Bunnying in the New York
Playboy Club, has already earned her mas-
ter's degree in radio-television and moon-
lights as a disc jockey for station МРС.
"There's no dearth of cotton-
tails, either. Montreal's Bu Suzie
Prenovost and Lou-Ann Uyeda have ap-
peared with the Keigo Imp
Dancers: Great Gorge's M.
is an ex-Rocketie. Debbi Crowe of At
lanta appears with the Decatur-DeKalb
Civic Ballet and performed with Gene
Kelly in a Theater of the Stars production
this past summer. New York Bunny Dana
Dixon, a ballet teacher for three yea
won a two-year Ford Foundation scholar
ship to study the dance in 1966-1967
i ng just about
everything, at both undergraduate and
graduate levels. Los Angeles cottontail

ial work at St. Louis University.
ic Dimes of Boston is getting her
degree in civil engineering from North-
eastern University, while Simone Pertui-
set, Montreal, is finishing requirements
for a BS. in ecology from Sir Geo
Williams University. As Detroit's Terry
Bellant points out, “Working for Playboy
is а perfect way to put yourself through
school, because the money's good and
the hours are so flexible. I plan to enroll
at Wayne State University here and take
a course in medical technology; after
class, Г can go down to the Club and
work a night shift."

"Those flexible hours also make Bunny
hopping an ideal two-carecr job. espe-
cially for a girl who's trying to ger her
own business enterprise started. Bunny
Portlyn Mason owns a health-food store
in the city of Lake Geneva, near the
Playboy Club-Hotel, where she works;
while down in New Orleans, Bonnie Wil-
liams operates ап organicbaking busi-
ness. "Best customers for her homemade
bread and oatmeal cookies, all baked to
order, are her fellow Club employees,"
Bunny Mother Barbara Page reports
New York Bunny Jane Ball is pursuing a
: writing a cookbook,
to be published by Simon & Schuster.
Denvers Cheryl French, the equestri
enne mentioned above, is doing research
in biofeedback and the physiological ef-
fects of color, Perhaps least-likely second
job is that held by another Denver Bunny.
Susan Sturm, who works as а parole offi-
cer. Viewers who saw Susan on the Bunny
of the Year telecast would volunteer to
be in her custody any day.

Plans are already under way for next
year’s Bunny Beauty Contest; check in
at your local hutch for the schedule in

your area
B

THE PLAYBOY JAZZ < POP POLL

vote for your favorites for the 1975 all-star band

SEVERAL YEARS AGO, the late Albert Ayler put out an album called Music Is the Healing Force of the Universe. Those
words have stuck in our mind, and we'd like to think they're true. Jf they are, then п needed more today than
ever, because there's а lot of healing that needs to be done, as anybody can confirm with a glance at a newspaper.
Fortunately, there are a lot of musical healers at work. Of course, not all our Pied Pipers are on such a positive trip:
Some have never thought about healing anything except their own bank balances and there are more than a few
who—after years of being ignored or ripped off—are in no shape to heal anybody, since they themselves are so badly in
need of some kind of balm. Needless to say, our ballot separates performers by the inswuments they play, not by their
spiritual conditions. , it’s amusing to look over these listings of names and think about the variety of stories behind
them and the variety of personalities they represent: flashy showbiz types, workmanlike studio guys, transcendental
innovators, folksy primitives. Many types of music are also represented; and it's reassuring to us that many of the people
we've talked with feel that their favorite schools have been underrepresented. One person thinks we don't get enough
jazzmen on the ballot. The next guy says we don't include enough rock groups. Or country singers. Or Latin musicians.
You're probably wondering why it's reassuring to hear complaints. Well, it lets us know that people care about what we
do. And if all sides think they're underrepresented, then perhaps we've managed to be fair. Which isn’t all that easy.

141

142

BIG-BAND LEADER
(Please choose one.)

1. Burt Bacharach
2 Count Basie
3. Louis Bellson
4. James Brown
5. Les Brow:
6. Ray Charles
т.
8
9.

. Eumir Deodato
. Mercer Ellington

. Stan Kentor
18. Henry Manci
19. Chuck Mangione
20. John McLaughlin
21. Sun Ra
92. Buddy Rich
23. Bobby Rosengarden
24. Doc Severinsen
k Terry
ld Wilson
. Stevie Wouder
ak Zappa

TRUMPET
(Please choose four.)
1. Nat Adderley
2 Herb Alpert

6. Ruby Braf
7. Oscar В

B. Randy Brecker

9. Billy Butterfield
19. Donald Byrd.

15. Buck Clayton.
16. Miles Davis

19. Jon Faddis
20. Art Farmer

Bobby Hackett.
Bill Hardu
Al Hirt

. Freddie Hubbard
vy James
Jonah J
Thad Jones

37. Doc Severinsen
38. Woody Shaw
39. Clark Terry
30. Charles Tolliver
41. Snooky Young

TROMBONE
(Please choose four.)
1. Chris Barber
2. Dave Bargeron
3. Harold Betters
4. George Bohanon
5. Bob Brookmeyer
6. Garnett Brow
7. Jimmy Cleveland
В. Buster Cooper
. Vic Dickenson
10. Maynard Ferguson
11. Carl Fontana
12. Curtis Fuller
13. Benny Green

1+
15.
16.
17. Slide Hampton
18. Wayne Не
19. Quei
J: J- Johnson

Grachan Moncur Ш
Turk Murphy
James Pankow

Bill Watrous
29. Dicky Wells
i Win

ALTO SAX
(Please choose two.)
1. Cannonball Adderley
2 Gary Bartz
3. Al Belletto
4. Anthony Braxton
5. Benny Carter
6. Emilio Castillo
7. Ornette Coleman
8. Hank Crawford
9. Sonny Criss
10. Eddie Daniels.
Desmon

Jackie McL
Charles McPherson
James Moody
Oliver Nelson
Anthony Ortega
Art Pepper
Marshal Royal

28. Tom Scott.
29. Bud Shank

30. James Spaulding

31. Sonny Stitt

32. Fe Strorier

33. Grover Washington, Jr.
34. Bob Wilber

35. Edgar Winter

36. Paul Win
37. Chris Woods
38. Jimmy Woods
39. Phil Woods

TENOR SAX
(Please choose two.)
L Gene Ammons
2. Curtis Amy
3. Gato Barbieri
4. Mike Brecker
5. Sam Butera
6.
1
8

А! Cohn

Gcorge Coleman
. Bob Cooper

Lockjaw” Davis
12. Joe Farrell

13. Jimmy Forrest

14. Frank Foster

LIST YOUR CHOICES IN THE 1975 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL ON THE FOLDOUT BALLOT THAT FOLLOWS

16.
17.
18.
19.
20.

Jerry Fuller
Stan Getz
Dexter Gordon
Johnny Griffin
Eddie Harvis
Joe Henderson
Jim Но

. Illinois Jacquet
‚ Robin Kenyatta

. Rahsaan Roland Kirk
. John Klemmer

Yusef Lateef

. Boots Randolph
. Sam Rivers

Sonny Rollins
Pharoah Sanders

. Tom Scott

Archie Shepp
Wayne Shorter
Zoot Si

. Buddy Tate

Lucky Thompson
anley Turrentine
Junior Walker

Grover Washington, Jr.

BARITONE SAX
(Please choose one.)

1. Pepper Adams

2. Jay Cameron

3. Harry Carney

4. Leroy Cooper

5. Benny Crawford

6. Eddie Danicls

7. Charles Davis

8. Charlie Fowlkes

9. Chuck Gentry

10. Jimmy Giuffre

M. Frank Hittner

12. Bill Hood

13, Jim Horn

M. Steve Корка

. John Lowe

5. Gerry Mulligan

Jack Nimitz

i. Pat Patrick

. Cecil Payne

. Romeo Penque

. Jerome Richardson

Ronnie Ross

. Clifford Scott

. Bud Shank

. Lonnie Shaw

Sahib Shihab

. John Surman

CLARINET

(Please choose one.)
Alvin Batiste
Bamcy Bigard
Acker Bilk
Phil Bodner
Ray Burke
John Carter
Buddy Collette
Eddie Daniels
Kenny Davern
uddy De Franco

‚ Pete Fountain

Bob Fritz

. Jerry Fuller
. Jimmy Giuffre
. Benny Goodman
5. William Green

Jimmy Hamilton
Woody Herman

. Peanuts Ниско

20. Rahsaan Roland Kirk

. Walt Levinsky
. Fred Lipsius

. Matty Matlock
. Bob Palmer

John Payne

. Art Pepper

Russell Procope
Jerome Richardson

29. Tony Scout
30. Pee Wee Spitelara
31. John Surman

39. Bob Wilber

33. Phil Woods

PIANO

(Please choose one.)
Mose Allison
Burt Bacharach
3, Count Basie
4. Eubie Blake
5. Воппей Bright
6. Dave Brubeck
1
8
9

. Jaki Byard

. Ray Charles

. Alice Coltrane
10. Chid: Corea
Li. Stanley Cowell
12. Neal Greque
13. Bill Evans
14. Tommy Flanagan
15. Erroll Garner
16. Herbie Hancock
17. Roland Hanna
18. Barry Harris
19. Donny Hathaway
20. Hampton Hawes
21. Earl “Fatha” Hines
22. Nicky Hopkins
23. Dick Hyman
24. Ahmad Jamal
25. Keith Jarrett
26. Elton John
27. Hank Jones
28. Roger Kellaway
29. Robert Lamm
30. Milcho Leviev
31. John Lewis
32. Ramsey Lewis
33. Les McCann
34. Marian McPartland
35. Sergio Mendes
36. Lee Michaels
37. ‘Thelonious Monk
38. Peter Nero
39, Randy Newman
40. Oscar Peterson
41. Billy Preston
42. Leon Russell
43, Joe Sample
. George Shearing

. Lonnie Liston Smith
Billy Taylor

‚ Cecil Taylor

McCoy Tyner

. Mary Lou Williams
Neil Young

Joe Zawinul

ORGAN
(Please choose one.)
1. Brian Auger
2 Booker T.
3. Milt Buckner
4. Ray Charles
5. Wild Bill Davis
6. Bill Doggett

LIST YOUR CHOICES IN THE 1975 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL ON THE FOLDOUT BALLOT THAT FOLLOWS

7. Charles Earland
8. Keith Emerson

9. Clare Fischer

10. Ronnie Foster

И. Johnny Hammond
19. Isaac Hayes

13. Groove Holmes
14. Garth Hudson

15. Dick Hyman

16. Keith Jarrett

17. Al Kooper

18. Gap Mangione

. Ray Manzarek
Dave Mason
Brother Jack McDufl
Jimmy McGriff
Lee Michaels

Don Patterson
Billy Preston

Sun Ra

Shirley Seon.
тту Smith

Rick Wakeman
Walter Wanderley
Stevie Winwood
Khalid Yasin

BESSRSERERBESS

VIBES

(Please choose one.)
Peter Appleyard
Roy Ayers
Larry Bunker
Gary Burton
Warren Chiasson
Gary Coleman
Don Elliott
Gordoa Emanuel
Victor Feldman
Terry Gibbs
Gunter Hampel
12. Lionel Hampton
. Bobby Hutcherson
. Milt Jackson

Stu Katz

Phil Kraus

17. Johnny Lytle

18. Mike Mainieri
19. Garry Mallaber
20. Buddy Montgomery
21. Red Norvo
22. Dave Pike
23. Emil Richards
24. Cal Tjader
25,
26.

FS earn aveaene

ках

. Tommy Vig
. Clement Wells

GUITAR
(Please choose one.)
- Arthur Adams
. Laurindo Almeida
Chet Atkins
|. Elek Bacsik
Jeff Beck
б. Joe Beck
. George Benson
8. Chuck Berry
9. Richard Betis
10, Roy Buchanan
11. Dennis Budimir

144

12. Kenny Burrell
3. Charlie Byrd.

. Glen Campbell
Eric Clapton

. Larry Coryell
Steve Cropper

. Rick Derringer
. Herb Ellis
. José Feliciano
Gafa

. Eric Gale

Jerry Garcia

. Grant Green
Buddy Guy

. Jim Hall

. George Harrison
. Ferry Kath

. Barney Kessel

. Freddie King
. Alvin Lee

. Pat Martino
. John McLaughlin
Топу Mottola
Jiminy Page

. Joe Pass

Buck y Pizzarelli

. Keith Richard
Robbie Robertson
Carlos Santana.
Cat Stevens
itephen Stills

. Gabor Szabo

. Peter Townshend
. Philip Upch

T-Bone W;

Johuny №

BASS
(Please choose one.)
1. Dud Bascomb, Jr.
>. Max Bennett
3. Keter Betts
4. Walter Booker
5. Ray Brown
6. Jack Bruce
7. Mike Bruce
8 Herb Bushler
9. Joe Byrd
10. Ron Carter

16. Richard Davis
17. Chuck Domanico
18. Donald “Duck” Di
19. George Duvivier
20. Cleveland Eaton
21. John Entwistle
22. Wilton Felder

26. Eddie Gomer

Ch
. Rufus Reid

. Joe Morel

Rick Grech
Bob Haggart

. Percy Heath

Monk Montgomery
Carl Radle
К Кан

Larry Ridley

. James Rowser
J
. Cel

je Ruggiero
al Songhouse
Kyoshi Toganaga

. Bill Wyman

El Dee Young

DRUMS
(Please choose one.)
ager Baker

. Louis Bellson

Hal Blaine

- Art Blakey

John Bonham
Roy Brooks
Karen Carpenter
Kenny Clarke
Cobb
Billy Cobham

. Cory Cole

Bobby Colomby
Alan Dawson

Jack De Johnette
Bobby Durham
Vernel Four
Gucrin

ico Hamilton

Том

Hayes
Roy Haynes
Red Holt

Stix Hooper
Paul Humphrey
Al Jackson, Jr.
Elvin Jones

Jo Jones

Philly Joe Jones
Connie Kay
Jim Keltner
Mel Lewis
Shelly Ma

. Harvey Mason

Roy McCurdy
Buddy Miles
Mitch Mitchell
Keith Moon

›

Alp
Idris Muhammad.
dy Nelson
Carl Palmer
Bernard Purdie
Buddy Rich

Ben Riley

. Max Roach

Mickey Roker
Bobby Rosengare

AB. Danny Seraphine
49. ding Soi
0. Ringo Starr
Tate
1l Thompson
Charlie Watts

OTHER INSTRUMENTS
(Please choose one.)

Lan Anderson, flute

Elck Васак, violin, violectra

. Ray Brown, cello

Paul Butterfield, harmonica

Buddy Collette. flute

Papa John Creach, violin

- Bob Dylan, harmonica

. Keith Emerson, Moog

soprano sax

10. Maynard Ferguson,

superbone
Старе, violin

1
2.
3.

phrey, flute

Kershaw, violin

18. Rahsaan Roland Kirk
flute, manzello, stritch

19. Yusef Lateef, flute, oboe

20. Hubert Laws, flute

21. Charles Loyd, flute

22. G Mancuso, baritone horn

- Chuck Mangione, Flügelhorn
24. Herbie Mann, flute

- Benny Maupin, reeds

Les McCann, Moog

- Charlie McCoy, harmonica
James Moody, flute

Airto Morcira, percussion
Walter Parazaider, flute

flute
- Luc Ponty, violin
Ra, Moog

1 Richards, cymbalom

ngo Santamaría, congas

uggs, banjo

bastian, harmonica

Bud Shank, flute

. Ravi Shankar, sitar

40. Jeremy Steig, flute

k Terry. Flügelhorn

42. Jean Thiclem:

33. Joe Venuti, violin

Watkins, French horn

ank Wess, flute

. Michael White, violin

Russ Whitman, bass sax

. Bob Wilber. soprano хах

49. Stevie Wonder, harmonica,
clavinet, Moog

50. Rusty Young, steel guitar

harmonica

MALE VOCALIST
(Please choose one.)
- Mose Allison
2 Harry Belafonte

LIST YOUR CHOICES IN THE 1975 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL ON THE FOLDOUT BALLOT THAT FOLLOWS

у Beni
Brook B
Andy Bey

6. Bobby Bland
7. David Bowie

8. James Brown
Oscar Brown, Ju
Solomon Burke
‚ Jerry Budler

- Ray Charles
Roy Chak
David Clayton
Alice Cooper
Davis Jr.

яке

homas

- George Harriso
27. Johnny Hartm:
Donny Hathaway
. Isaac Hayes

. Mick Jagge

35. Elton John

34. George Jones

35. B. B. King

36. Kris Kristofferson
37. Steve Lawrence
38. Joh
39. Jerry Lee Lewis
40. Gordon Lightfoot

42. Johnny Mathis
43. Curtis Mayfield
44. Paul

thony Newley
47. Randy Newman
48. Harry Nilsson
49. Buck Owens
50. Wilson Pickett
1. Robert Plant
Elvis Presley
Arthur Prysock
Lou Rawls
Jerry Reed
56. Charlie Rich
. Leon Russell
Frank Sinatra
59. О. C. Smith
60. Cat
61. Rod Stewart
62. Grad
63. James Taylor
64. Johnnie Taylor
65. Lcon Thomas
66. Mel Tormé
dy Williams

70. Bill Withers
71. Bobby Womack

72. Stevie Wonder
73. Neil Young

FEMALE VOCALIST
(Please choose one.)
1. Joan Васе
2. Pearl Bai
3. Maggie Bell
4. Barbi Benton
5. Teresa Brewer
6
7.
8

. DecDee Bridgewater
. Lana Cantrell
i. Vikki Carr
9. Betty Carter
10. Chér
11. June Christ
12. Judy Collin
13. Rita Coolidge
14. Ella Fitzgerald
15. Roberta Flack
16. Aretha Franklin

19. Lena Horne

90. Carole King

21. Teddi King

22, Gladys Knight
23. Cleo Laine

24. Peggy Lee

25. Abbey Lincoln
26. Miriam Makeba
27. Barbara McNaix

28. Melanie
29. Вене Midler
30. Liza Minnelli
31. Joni Mitchell
32. Melba Moore
33. Maria Muldaur
34. Olivia Newton-John
35. Laura Nyro

36. Odetta

37. Esther Phillips

38. Flora Purim

29. Bonnie Raitt

40. Helen Reddy
E

42.

43,

46.

2 Della Reese
la Ronstadt
. Diana Ross
. Buffy Sainte-Marie
. Esther Satterfield
. Carly Simon
47. Nina Simone
48. Valcric Simpson
49. Grace Slick
50. Mavis Staples
51. Barbra Streisand
52. Tina Turner
53. Sarah Vaughan
54. Dionne Warwicke
55. Margaret Whiting
56. Nancy Wilson
57. Tammy Wynette

VOCAL GROUP
(Please choose one.)

1. Allman Brothers Band

2. The Band

3. Bec Gees

4. Bread

5. Jackie Cain & Roy Kral

6. Carpenters

7. Delfonics

8. Dr. Hook and the
Medicine Show

9. Doobie Brothers

10. Earth, Wind & Fire
11. Emerson, Lake & Palmer

. 5th Dimension

12.
13. Four Freshmen
14,

„ Grand Funk Railroad
5. Grateful Dead

16. Guess Who

17. Jackson 5

18. Jefferson Airplane

19. Gladys Knight & the Pips

Led Zeppelin

21. Loggins & Messina
22. Paul McCartney & Wings
23. Harold Melvin & the

Bluenotes

24. Moody Blues

25. O'Jays

26. Tony Orlando & Dawn
27. Pink Floyd

28. Poi
29, Rolling Stones
30. Scals & Crofts

ter Sisters

35. Temptations

36. Three Dog Night
37. Tower of Power
38. Ike & Tina Turner
39. War

40. The Who

41. Yes.

SONGWRITER-COMPOSER

(Please choose one.)
1. Mose Allison
2. Ian Anderson

3. Harold Arlen

4. David Axclrod
5. Burt Bacharach
6. Thom Bell

7. Carla Bley

8. Oscar Brown, Jr.
9. Dave Brubeck

10. Ornette Coleman
11. Betty Comden-Adolph

Green

12. Chick Corea
13. Miles Davis

14. Eumir Deodato
15. Neil Diamond
16. Bob Dylan

17. Gil Evans

18. David Gates
19. Dizzy Gillespie
20. Tom T. Hall
21. He
22. George Harrison

23. Isaac Hayes

24, Freddie Hubbard

25. Mick Jagger-Keith Richard
26, Antonio Carlos Jobim

іе Hancock

27. Elton John-Bernie Taupin
28. Quincy Jones

20, Thad Jones

30. Carole King

31. Kris Kristollerson

32, Robert Lamin

33. Michel Legrand

34. John Lennon

. John D. Loudermilk
. Henry Mancini
Johnny Mandel
. Curtis Mayfield
Paul McCartney
Eugene McDaniels
. Johnny Mercer
. Charles Mingus
. Joni Mitchell
‘Thelonious Monk
. Oliver Nelson
. Randy Newman
. Harry Nilsson
. Laura Nyro
Kenny Rankin
. Lou Reed
, George Russell
l. Leon Russell
. Lalo Schifrin
il Scott- Heron- Brian.
Jackson
. Seals & Crofts
Horace Silver
59. Shel Silverstein

. Paul Simon
. Cat Stevens
. Stephen Stills
j. Jule Styne
L James Taylor
. Allen "Toussaint
. Peter Townshend
. Jimmy Van Heusen
Sid Wayne
. Stevie Winwood
). ВШ Withers
- Stevie Wonder
. Neil Young
. Frank Zappa

INSTRUMENTAL COMBO
(Please choose one.)

1. Cannonball Adderley

2. Gene Ammons

3. Art Ensemble of Chicago

4. Roy Ayers

5. The Band

6. Gato Barbieri

7. Al Belletto

8. Art Blakey

9. Blood, Sweat & Tears

10, Dave Brubeck

11. Kenny Burrell

12. Charlic Byrd

13, Chase

14. Chicago

15. Billy Cobham

16. Ornette Coleman

17. Alice Cooper

18, Crusaders

UST YOUR CHOICES IN THE 1975 PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP POLL ON THE FOLDOUT BALLOT THAT FOLLOWS

72.

75.

Miles Davis
Emerson, Lake & Palmer

. Bill Evans

Stan Getz

i. Dizzy Gillespie

Grand Funk Railroad
Al Grey-Philly Joe Jones
Herbie Hancock

. Eddie Harris

Hampton Hawes

. Earl Hines

Al Hirt
Groove Holmes
Paul Horn

Hot Tuna

Freddie Hubbard.
Bobby Hutcherson
Illinois Jacquet

. Ahmad Jamal
. Jefferson Airplane
. Elvin Jones

В. B. King

Rahsaan Roland Kirk &
the Vibration Society

Kool & the Gang.

. Yusef Lateef
‚ Led Zeppelin
. Ramsey Lewis
. Charles Lloyd

. Loggins & Messina

. Malo

Chuck Mangione
Herbie Mann

‚ Shelly Manne

. Hugh Masekela

. Les McCann

. Marian McPartland
. The Meters
Charles Mingus

. Mode:
58. Thelo:
. Airto Morcira

Јат Quartet
us Monk

New York Jazz Quartet

‚ Ohio Players
i2. Oscar Peterson

Return to Forever

Мах Roach
. Sonny Rollins

Pharoah Sanders

. Santana
. The Section

George Shearing
Horace Silver

. Sly & the Family Stone

Jimmy Smith

. Lonnic Liston Smith

Supersax
Clark Terry

i. ‘Lower of Power
. Jethro Tult
i McCoy Tyner

Jr. Walker and the All Stars.
G ington, Jr.

wer Wasl

- Tony Williams Lifetime
2. Paul Winter Consort

Phil Woods

l. World's Greatest Jazzband
. Young- Holt Unlimited

LINE ----

THIS

-- CUT ALONG

Please put down the NUMBERS of listed
candidates you choose. То vote for a person not
shown on our lists, write in full name; only one in
each category, except where otherwise indicated.

BIG-BAND LEADER

FIRST TRUMPET

SECOND TRUMPET

THIRD TRUMPET

FOURTH TRUMPET

FIRST TROMBONE

SECOND TROMBONE

HE 1975
PLAYBOY

THIRD TROMBONE VIBES

FOURTH TROMBONE GUITAR

FIRST ALTO SAX BASS
IND ALTO SAX DRUMS

FIRST TENOR SAX

SECOND TENOR SAX

OTHER INSTRUMENTS

MALE VOCALIST

BARITONE SAX

FEMALE VOCALIST

CLARINET

PIANO.

ORGAN

VOCAL GROUP

SONGWRITER-COMPOSER

INSTRUMENTAL COMBO

PLAYBOY JAZZ & POP HALL OF FAME

Instrumentalists and vocalists, living or dead, are
eligible. Artists previously elected (Duane Allman,
Herb Alpert, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Dave Bru-
beck, Ray Charles, Eric Clapton, John Coltrane, Miles
Davis, Bob Dylan, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald,
Benny Goodman, George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix, Mick
Jagger, Janis Joplin, John Lennon, Paul McCartney,
Wes Montgomery, Jim Morrison, Elvis Presley, Frank

Sinatra) are not eligible.

PLAYBOY'S RECORDS OF THE YEAR
BEST INSTRUMENTAL LP (BIG BAND):

BEST INSTRUMENTAL LP (FEWER THAN
TEN PIECES):

BEST VOCAL LP:

Маше and address must be printed here to authenticate ballot.

Маш

Address

City.

NOMINATING BOARD: Cannonball Adderley, Gregg Allmon (Allman Brothers Bond), Herb Alpert, lan Anderson, George Ben-
son, Ron Carter, Eric Clopton, Billy Cobham, Chick Corea (Return ta Forever], Miles Davis, Neil Diamand, Billy Eckstine, Keith
Emerson, Maynard Ferguson, Pete Fountain, Stan Getz, Benny Goodman, Lionel Hampton, Slide Hamptan, Al Hirt, Freddie Hubbard,
Milt Jackson, Eltan John, J. J. Johnson, Rahsaan Ralond Kirk, Poul McCartney, Gerry Mulligan, Oscar Peterson, Boots Randalph,
Buddy Rich, Danny Seraphine (Chicago), Dec Severinsen, Carly Simon, Jimmy Smith, Ranald Townson (The 5th Dimension), Sarah
Vaughan, Edgar Winter, Si Zentner; plus all the other musicians listed in last February's results; and Steve Backer, ABC-Impulse;
George Butler, United Artists / Blue Note; Stan Cornyn, Warner Bros.; Milt Gabler, Commodore; Nat Hentoff, writer; Teo Macero,
Columbia; Mork Meyerson, Atlantic; John Snyder, СП; Bab Thiele, Flying Dutchman; ond George Wein, Newpart Jazz Festival.

Before compiling the list of performers on the pre-
ceding pages, we sent nominating ballots to all of the
above—the list came to several hundred people. Now,
our readers’ ballot has a finite number of spaces, so, of
course, we can’t get everybody on it—and for everyone
we add, we have to drop someone. So we try to get a list
that reflects the range of today's musical spectrum—and
it's possible that one or more of your favorite artists may
not be included. If so, do not panic. You can still vote
for that artist; just print his (or her) name in the appro-
priate space on the ballot—which is the flip side of this
detachable page.

If the person you wish to vote for is on the list, you
don’t need to write the name—just the number. Last
year, some readers wrote in names when numbers would
have sufficed, which made things a little bit harder, not
only for them but also for the people (and computers)
who tabulated the vote.

The difference between a Big-Band Leader and the
leader of an Instrumental Combo is the difference

between nine and ten. If the group has nine pieces
or fewer, it's a combo; ten or more, and it's a big band.

Speaking of big bands, the rcasen you are asked to
voté Гог more than one person in some categories is that
big bands usually carry several men in those categories.

In voting for the Jazz & Pop Hall of Fame, keep in
mind that the following pcople are incligible, because
they've already made it: Duane Allman, Herb Alpert,
Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Dave Brubeck, Ray
Charles, Eric Clapton, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, Bob
Dylan, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Benny Good-
man, George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix, Mick Jagger,
Janis Joplin, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Wes Mont-
gomery, Jim Morrison, Elvis Presley and Frank Sinatra.

When you've completed your ballot, make sure it has
your name and address on it; otherwise, it won't count.
‘Then mail it to Playboy Jazz & Pop Poll, Playboy
Building, 919 N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois
60611. Ballots must be postmarked no later than Octo-
ber 15, 1974. Results will be in our February 1975 issue.

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ROLAND C. WOLFE

THIS

ее УЧ

THE VARGAS GIRL

"There's nothing like this
exercise for developing the
thighs . . . well, almost nothing.”

Va egas

three women
AS A BENEFIT to the fair votaries of Love
and as an aid to wanton youths who revel
in their soft embraces, we take the lib-
erty of offering a buyer's guide [or our
loyal readers.

The shops of Venus have never been
more clegantly filled than at present
Marylebone, the new bazaar, shines with
loves and graces on display: Govent G:
den тот; our ancient Drury is
still the favorite of many. Bagnigge. St.
George's Spa offer the choicest goods;
there is much to be found in the pur-
tieus of Whitechapel, farther east.

Herc, then, is our guide, suited to
every pocket and to every whim and

offers

fancy the most extravagant sensualist
could summon:
Miss Ном ed, No. 10 Castle

Street, Oxford Market.

Her lily bosom and her tapering
watst,

Her pointing lips, would tempt a
saint to taste,

Love's sweet. Elysium she will soon
make yours

And bless with raptures new the pass-
ing hows

Our sweet Polly, that at present reigns
the perfect model of innocence and good
паше, has not yet entered her 19th
year. Before she enlisted into service at
The Thirteen Cantons, her former situa-
ion enabled her to learn something of

!
the ways of life, her father being а tabor
and pipe player at the fashionable shops
in town. Although Polly made little use
of his lessons concerning the proper use
of the lute—not having an car for
music—she soon attained а proficiency
in а more natural. instinct and сап now
play any strain. without compla
ways setting an expert tempo upon re-
quest, although allegro is her finest
melody

It is not а twelvemonth since the Mid-
dlesex invader broke down the road-
block to new highways and, conscious of
her merit and worth, she is now in daily
expectation that some good citizen will
ta
from the disagreeable necessity of noctur
nal perambulations.

ke her into keeping, thus freeing her

from "А List of Covent Garden Ladies" in Ranger's Magazine, 1789

She is a middle sized, genteel-made girl.

with fine black eyes and ha
good teeth and а sweet affable temper.
The dairy hills of delight are beautifully
prominent, firm and elastic: the sable
channel below is now properly adapted
to the sons of Great Britain—when she
has traveled the public roads 12 months
the Hiberni

т. exceeding

more, à sons may then, per
haps. find the parts suitably adjusted for
their use as well.

Miss сц
Street, Golden Square

t, No. 123 Queen

All night she'll keep you at wanton

play,

or suffer slumber till the dawn of
day.

Till tir d nature melted into bliss.

Dissolved in sleep still pants the hu-
mid k

This pleasant creature at present pos-
sesses every requisite to form the good and
agreeable bedfellow. Youth and beauty
shine with а most superlative brightness.
and not more than 16 months have passed
since she made her first dive into the pub-
lic stream.

She is of fair complexion; the hair
that ornaments her person is a light
brown, but that which shades the Сур-
rian fountain is much darker. This grace
ful armor has been near three years in
riving to its present state; at the early
ge of 15, the soft down just peeped
through the snowy skin. Now, with an

de, it surrounds the Elysian
the most

envious sh
and is proof ар;
stubborn repeated attacks.

A word to the wise: This lady is in
genteel keeping by а gentleman of the
name she now assumes: thus, her favors
cannot be expected on ordinary terms. А
single air is half а guinea: for a nocturnal
rondo, she expects four times the

mansion

inst

Miss С. rd,

Street, Oxford Square

She thrust атап the bushes her fair
hand

To draw the plant, and е
she drew

сту plant

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ВРАО HOLLAND

Ribald Classic
She shook the stalk, and brushed away
the deve.

This ladys character
ing well her name, bei
skilled in the
hotbed, but
partner to be concerned in the business.

Her person is pleasing, she has the
roses in her cheeks, encircled with beds
of neverdailing lilies: she takes a guinea
to be engrafted upon and is a very

ceable sprig of harebell. She is much
esteemed by the lovers of. planting for
having a beautiful show of navel
wort а fondness for rampions,
Adam'sapple tree, sensitive
plant, nutmegs and other such valuable
productions.

И we are not misinformed, this lady is

answers exceed.
exquisitely well

art ol raisin,

plants in a

urally she wishes for

one of the d

ughters of fortune, having
substantial income left to her from an
nt whom she literally flogged
out of the world, and will probably do
so to more, as she is as expert at this
maneuver as Mrs, B. ch herself. of
Chapel Street, Soho.

Economy is seldom a virtue practiced
by females of her profession, but we can
produce an instance of it in this damsel
that is as whimsical as it is extraordinary.
The chandlers shop. which furnishes
her with instruments of delight, has
reed to provide her in wun with t
coffee, bread, butter and all other
des sold in the shops at a considerably
reduced price—on condition that she
does not purchase switches, brooms and
such anywhere else: and it is generally
believed that itis indeed а contract advan
tageous to both parties.

While Venus holds her court, Mor
s is kicked out of doors. Therefore,
but the

the truly

arti

Mise none
none but оғаш,
е but those furnished with the finest
parts to engage in the contest. Come,
then, ye metallic Hibernians, ye brawny
Scots and ye genuine beebeating Britons,
replete with health, vigor, youth and
money. for this lecherous girl of only
18 will case you of every article

post experi

—Retold by John C. Dickson EQ u9

PLAYBOY

150

“ТО BE SILENT” 15 AN ACTIVE VERB

Los Angeles Times the statement of Dr.
Nikolai Blokhi

[Solzhenitsyn] has long deprived
himself of the right to the lofty tide
of citizen of the U.S.S.R. That is why
depriving him of his citizenship and
turning him out of the U.SS.R. is
correct, a very correct decisi

Serendipity strikes the theme for this
return to the Soviet Union. Last night I
heard Bob Dylan sing:

Tune will tell

Just who has [ell
And who's been left behind. ...

Who are these noupersons whom Dr
Blokhin and Dr. Dylan celebrate in dil
ferent ways? Nine years ago in. Moscow,

on, 1 saw

the guest of the Writers Ut
mostly official persons, hospitable, wary
and well. Bur 1 got a whilt fom the best
of them of those others, the nonpersons,
burdened with their. stubbornness, and
this time ГИ seek them out through
the enveloping Intourist-comtort fog. In

California, news of the human-rights
moyvement—the writers and scientists
those warded in psychiatric hospitals be

«ихе to dis;

v with the government is
crazy, the lovers of the word. the
Jews. the political prisoners—is being re-
placed. by the Nixon-Brezhnev business
men's detente, with Dr. Armand Наппие
leaping up to announce a fresh wade deal
every lew days. Alexander Solzhenitsyn
has just been expelled—a slight setback.

They decided not to administer harshei
Ireatment to a man watched so closely by
the West.

Yea, the sparrow hath found а house,
id the swallow a nest lor herself. where
she may lay her young” —Psalar 81. “The
son of man hath not where to lay 1
head "— Jesus

А stewardess looks at my ticket and de-
vs. "Moscow! Wow! Why?
Skiing

“Oh, wow, g

I settle dow! м t0 5
the window, trying to remember my Rus-
sorting out my Mos
cow and thinking ahead to what 1 can
expect of trouble this time. 1 manage to
turn olf the stewardess. As Dr. Blokhin
s correct, а very correct decision.

ovy."

Ic out

Pan Am Lounge, Keunedy Airport; Orly
tirport, Paris

15 that Andy Warhol I sce before me?
It's his two-tone wig. his blank stare
the Esquire (ihe maesno looks
glum). his chirping entourage gathered
to bid him tita. The Soviet Union will
be different.

Warhol gets off in Paris

new

Rushing through Only and climbing

(continued from page 128)

straight onto an — Aeroflot Iytishin,
bound for Moscow, seems odd for а
tied Francophile. I doze in this g
stratospheric global dawn. The melan-
choly of the traveler headed. away from
home is followed by thoughts that dart
10 and fro li s cold as
foxes. I soothe my disrupted metabolism
by getting interested in the. Russians re
turning home—women with flowers
from the Champs Elysées. wrapped in
plastic: bearded, fur-cipped young men
with affable, amiable, slovenly, oldtime
students’ case (is it а chess team): gray
bureaucrats in ice-blue suits and
plastic brielcases attached like prosthetic
devices to their arms, Their sleepswol-
len. cholesterol-stulfed faces lock as il
d ану lively dreams years
Bet the nice plump stewardes,
in the neck than the California
the middle, docs isk
g to ski in Russ

The last time T flew Aeroflot to. Mos-
cow. one filmy plastic glass served. ev
one for drinking, and you had to wait
till di was free. amd it way misty with
strange lips when 1 finally thirstily re-
ceived it and it played Misty for me.
This time elegant little. private cups—
progress under socialism.

те-

e arctic foxes.

wide

Rassiya Hotel, Red Square
Only one bag was lost in tramsii—
mine.

ne ni

How do I de self on my
first day in Moscow? Who am I now? Т
am a man in sub-zero temperature. lonely
for clothes, books. scarf. gloves, hat. Who
else am J? 1 am sweaty man. man with
seacts, worried about papers that might
be found in my bag. 1 am man who
needs a bath.

At customs they go throu
case carefully i

h my briel-
\ girl reads aloud from
а book I've brought for

hiend. onc of
my own novels, and makes it sound Hike
German. She calls her superior. He calls
his superiors. A group of ollicers is hud-
dled over my book. saying, “Verv
interesting." But they don’t mean the
like и. They mean: Why is this writer
coming here as а tourist? 1 understand
their Russian, but 1 look. dull and tired,
because that. seems d ‚ the very
look. about

g helps. Bur als

corre

conca wa

lost bi

» since Т
the Sevier
yn and Andrei Sakhi
l of the writers Andrei Sin
vavsky and Yuli Daniel. the plight of
the Jews, P applied for my visa in
Washington, not San Francisco. И their
bureaucracy functions. I could be turned
back from the airport.

1 pass with а chill stare from the chief

ave

written

md spoken about

Union, Solrhes

тоу. the t

My Intowist car takes me to the
Rasiya, which is to the idea of a hotel
what Los Angeles is to the idea of a city—
massive, intimidating, overgrown. Its the
largest hotel in Europe, perhaps in the
world, and the clevators often work.
Since I have nothing to unpack, ГИ cat.

In the offic g room reserved
lor foreign tou m placed at table
with two E
beria. Ruddy is the word for them—le
Deef. They've just come from drilli

xà. and now they're hunting oi
ural gas during the ‹

six months in some Godlorsake
and drink ourselves qo sleep eve
Wb then we come out with our
money and get laid." says Ruddy Oi

“L only have to drink for two months
Fm not staying any longer this time
says Ruddy Two.

"Those

rs. Those Venezuc-

lm girls, that’s got mixed
blood ha ‹ says Ruddy
One. а six-month п an analytical
mind. "Lets have 1
сап sleep. hey

Ruddy Twos nose cures out and

down, his pouting tl
so that they nearly
on a uniqi
ar

1 lips out and. up.
cet, and his face is
mespace warp. looping
und to recle back into НУ a lonc

ly. defiant. minimal face. oth
goddamn night when the British Em
pire's son doesn't set,” he declares, push-

ing the table away from his chair.

К enough. of their vodka.
over Red Square, snowy
and forbidding. and notice Berber girls
dancing by the fireside near St. Basil's,
А bunch of Venezuelan wenches are
whooping it up near Lenin's tomb in the
below-zero weather, 1 decide 10 go for a
walk. wake up and realize 1 can't
temperature. especially since my w
clothes haven't arrived.

Perhaps Г could borrow. а coat. from
the tail P have already noticed lurking
down the halls of the Rassiya Hotel. He
wears а tail's winter uniform of fur hs
and black overcoat
mididleofiheaight | melancholy
returns, the travelers disease, the chill
eliness that 1 used to think a com
pound of fear dor morality and the
Iouising of metabolic rime zones. More
than that, ef course, As Solzhenitsyn
Says. а transplanted. person is like a tree,
all the Luge and tiny roots and rootlets
cut. hurt, bleeding. until it finds its
place again. And il
Why do exiles sufler so? A traveler gets
a whill of it during his sleepless mid
nighis. No wonder tourists behave so
badly— hurt children, “Travelers
remember the postcards they sent, not
what they felt as they finally decided,
What the hell. РИ write some cards. And

(continued on page 190)

I didn't d
І look our

doesn't, it withers.

hey

ГИ japanese R. MURAYAMA, tourist, has been in
E America less than two hours and already
3| package he's having a travel adventure. A swarthy lady
Э to whom, I take it, he has not been formally in-
tour explores | roauced is trying to steal his gold teeth. This in
broad daylight on the steps of the Science Acad-
emy in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco, and 1
west and finds| <n supply no information about the events
us immediately preceding this act of piracy, for
it inscrutable | it was already in (continued on page 158)

| the american

ILLUSTRATION BY WILLIAM BIDEREOST

By JAMES DICKEY

These paragraphs are, quite frankly, an experiment. They are
impressionistic vigneltes—or, with luck, prose poems—having
хо do with the American South, the place where I was born and
where I hope to dic. My method, or lack of it, was simply to cut
т particular memories and impressions and to go with them
wherever they took me.

The general plan of these pieces demands a good deal of the
reader, 1 ask him, first of all, to give up his external identity—
that is, his body—but to keep his senses preternatusally alive. 1
ask him to become invisible and to be able to take any shape that
gets him deeper into some aspect of the South, or Jericho, as 1,
with the help of the King James Bible, have renamed it.

I make no pretense of possessing Biblical scholarship. It is suf.
ficient to my purposes that there was a Promised Land and that
Jericho was the first city in it. Those facts and the fact that Jeri
cho fell, as the South fell, in the American “Iliad” of the Civil
War. Those are the only conjunctions I wish to make. The test
of what 1 am trying to do here is purely mine and, beyond the
connections I have indicated, is no fault of the Bibles nor of
King James's.

The idea of the reader's becoming invisible and omniscient,
ranging unsystematically over the Southern land and through
many types of Southern people, is fundamental hee. І should
like the reader to be able to become a horse, а pine tree, а house,

а church, a stock car, a hen, a rattlesnake, а human prisoner, a
blues player at night in his cell listening to a freight train, a rac-
coon т a tree, а revivalist in a tent in midsummer. 1 should like
the reader to help me behold the South and not simply sce it
And I should like him to behold with such intensity, with
whatever help these paragraphs are capable of giving, that he
will look into the nearest mirror and half-belicve that if he con-
centrates strongly and imaginatively enough, in his individual
way—one known only to him, and from bith—he will see him-
self fade out before his own eyes and become what these para-
graphs most want him to be: a Spirit, the Essence of himself, a
Beholder of Jericho.

Nothing remains of it but the four stone columns that

were the chimneys. The rock stumps of aristocracy, the
Jericho version of Greek, the broken Doric, are easily overcome
by ivy and a recent ler from Japan, kudzu. But 200 yards
away are slave quarters, 200 years old, still standing, though roof-
less, and the future of Jericho is boiling within them. Here was
something wrong. A child of two bloods was conceived here. The
owner, the Man of Columns, knew how and when, but he could
not say why. His only son went out through his own children
into the world. The house and thé Old Jericho fell, but the
blood went on. It has flashed a left and a right—another left and
right and the opponent is down. A new heavyweight champion

түз wherea child was conceived. The great house is gone.

SMALL
VISIONS

F E
TIMELESS
PLACE

the south as one poet
has known it

PLAYBOY

154

speaks quierly of the need to love cach
other, but he fights. Far from him, the
shell-walled ruins of slave quarters seethe
with meaning, and History refers to them
at every moment.

Noise, and a huge racket assembling.
s is producing, and the man turning
s in the foreground. has come off
the farm to produce it. He has а long
wolfish face and bad teeth, but he's got
the noise of making automobiles beaten:
He sings at the top of his lungs. Not even
a Spirit can make out the words, but we
know that he is singing because now he
is dancing long-legged. buck-dancing with
the slowly whirling car frame.

Behind third base, and free of the
looms. The girl from Ellijay. Georgia,
watches the batter of the other girls’ soft-
ball team. Her mind, a maze of shuttles
and bobbins, concentrates meanly. We're
gonna kill "em. We're second in the
league. Inside the mill, the Jooms fly in
place, and we leave the field and drift

aside. then flicker g the highspeed
threads. In the waterfalling thunder and
the shadowy haze of garment speed, in
the hum ol runaway geometry, we sec
faces, all faces of Jericho. One of the ways
we rose from the ashes was into the mill.
Phe faces belong to the land, the fing
to the thread.

Powersawed from a pine forest, the
marble quarry looks. at dusk. as though
it might be the kugest square hole in the
world, With a beautiful dreaming mo-
tion appropriate for descent into the
open country of gravestones. we go down
to sce the only man left. from the da
work at the bortom, He is stand

on
top of a great oblong block. ghost-white

with dust, and his eyebrows sparkle пи
than his eyes ever could. In a harsh net of
cables he is waiting to lift himself. Охе
head, the dim sky begins to groan, and he
to rise. He sails upward through Time,
from the Beginning to the Now. It is so
dark that the strata of cons may well be
shullling geologic cras at will or by
chance, and may put the End in there
somewhere, among the innocent ages. А
Jew years more of this work and the man
will buy a farm; he was born and raised
оп one. He steps off the block into the
woods that stand around the place it wa

ash.
nd the dust of the graves runs off
nd the crane operator get into his
ad the moon ide for the
led. woods aro
ps into the huge hole in
ture, prepared to scek the Answer of the

ared to find the square root of

at it.

cut from. He washes his face at a м
мапа.

ht
nd the unearthed

АЙ over Jericho we like to hang
around. When you hang around, in this
land, you hear nd you ma

your own. On country porches and in
town squares. on hunting trips—for we
are great hunters, here—even in the sub-
urbs, the tongue matters. We are the most
outrageous and creative liars in the
world, and we take our time to make th
lies а lot more interesting than the truth,
in the strictness of its dreaming, could
ever dream. You know that you are some-
where in the tingling and living Web of
Jericho when somebody says to you-
you just overhear: Now, there was 1
old boy who drove for the gove
knew him. Well, I didn't
him: I knew a cousin of his.
lived in Social Circle. Georgi
loved clothes. He worked filling sta-
tion— Texaco. 1 th a5— part time,
and he kind of doubled up on his money
to go to Atlanta and buy clothes every
. So he saves enough for this one
ight to
Robert Hall's, s walking down
them bare racks, and he sees this one suit
he just about goes through the roof over.
Spends all his money for it. So he gocs
back home to Soc ele and he's walk-
ing down the main street in this suit. and
а buddy of his stops him and says, Jack,
that is some kind of good-looking stack of
threads you got on. Brings out the color
п them strange eyes! Man, е gals
around here are gonna mob you! But
Гуе got to tell you one thing: The left
sleeve is too short. Well, Jack looks at

he goes on back to Atlanta and
пе salesman, Look, can't you do
something about this left sleeve? The
salesman says, Don't worry about it. Just

ad of pull your shoulder and your arm
in the sleeve and the slecvell
match up. So Jack says. ОК. PII ny it. He
goes home, holding that left arm just so.
Then he meets another friend that says,
Jack. 1 really like you in that new suit.
jverybodys crazy about it, But. damn,
the right sleeve is just too long. Back 10
Robert Hall's. This time the sale:
says. You've got the thing licked on the
let side. Now just take your right arm
and kind of shoot that arm out a lite
more than you usually would. Thar'll do
it. So he goes back to Social Circle and
meets another buddy. Jack, the buddy

ys. that suit is great. But the doggone

s are тоо long. Poor Jack is in de-

one more trip to Adanta, He does, and
the salesman tells him that the solution
to the whole problem is to hold his left
lapel with his chin and then take his left
nd kind of hunch his pants up
е and he's walk-

ing down Main Street. He's staggering
alon;

tiying to hold cverything together,
п Не meets a man and his wife. The
fellow and his wife go on by, and when
they get where he can't hear "em, the wife
says, Did you scc poor Jack Walker gc
down the street, all bent over with arthu-
ritis? At his age, too! And the guy says,

ih, but don’t that suit fit him good!

Stories. We listen. They
ends of Jericho, and everyone ma
them. Good. Гуе got a good one for you.

There was this old boy... -
If you want some of this stuff, the scab-

by-béarded man says to us as we аррса
out of moonlight, you got 10 pay the high
dollar for it. This here is good corn lil

ker: E done run the bead myself. It ai
from one of them ground-hog. stills
don't use nothing but copper. Have
drink of this and you'll. materializ
drink. We don't come out of invi:
hut invisibility shines . and the
hummingbird is more wi especially
in the stillness of fight, the vibrating
center. There we sce another bearded
man, running a joyous bead. We reel
around the still coils, ruby-throated,
praising copper. No one can see us: We
are sheer delight, pale beyond the pale,
the law.

A bridge, and а caged rattle. An at
tendant at a tourist reptile farm is bounc-
ing a red balloon off the spring-tensioned.
back-coiling head of a rattlesnake. The

oon are lying hundreds of alli-
gators, sprawled on the land of Jericho
over and under each other, lolling in the
water. halfemerging from the locked
scum as in the true. the evolutionary
Fden. They bring the Everglades: The
vast river: and the ponderous heads gaze
up—only the eyes out of the water—with
an aesthetic appreciation known only to
the Lower Forms of life, for strangely
shaped birds. Someone says, 1 can tell
you, Jack, that th tor is one beast
of which it can truly be siid that if
you've seen one, you've seen them all
This zigzags us into cowboy:
Florida. Here we are mixing w
and attacking the Santa Gertrudis. |
Eastern beast from the markets of Ind
g at us between palmetios.
We ride on Jack Feagan's shoulder, the
sin blazing on him through us. still full
of mountain moonshine. He pulls his
carbine from the saddle boot, stops and
sights down the shimmering blue barrel

now switch

into sandy, shimmering water. O dusty
vegetable excitement, all around! O the
Junczooming light of insects! He fires

through the sweat haze of salt, the pool
jumps with gold scales, rolls with a
sickening belly The айдаш
though he were teming meat from the
world itself. His teeth are closed like a
jigsaw. His cyes open upside down. Jack
holsters the carbine, and we go over. The
prehistoric life dye is hanging slowly
sideways through the sun's drying water
Brain matter floats around. One of the
(continued on page 220)

spins as

OME Ro ОГО

“OJ course it's possible to contract V. D. in a public washroom.
So if I were you, my dear, Га stop screwing in there!"

155

PLAYE

156

just my luek continued рот page 105)

I whistled happily as Г sat down and
ticed the signature of William L.
Wilson a few dozen times. It was sim-
ple and easy to duplicate. My luck was
holding.

1 long ago realized that everything
thats happened to me in my 27 уса
good or bad, has been due to pure luck,
good and bad. Or, put another way, it's
all up to the w ill of God. There are days
when everything comes up asparagus
when it's selling for 90 cents a pound.
And then there are days when you сап
brcak your finger in a bowl of spinach.

An example of a day when God was
out to get me was one morning three
years back when I was ripping off an
auto tape player in а car parked on a
winding street in Hollywood at three
1 saw car lights coming and I lay on
the scat. The car passed me and then
stopped, and 1 soon looked up to see a
couple of uniformed cops staring in
at mc.

As my luck would have it, it turned
out that the damn саг had been stolen.
Also, I had the tape player half un-
screwed, which was so difficult to ex-
plain that I was taken to the Hollywood
police station and held.

Fo make matters worse, the manager
went into my apartment that morning to
spray for cockroaches and saw 5
other auto tape players and called the
law. The value of these was more than
enough to move me into grand theft.

Even worse than that, it was my mis-
fortune to be on probation at the time,
simply because a year before, a pet hoa

constrictor had escaped and, unlucki
for me, had slithered into my unlocked
garage, and while people were searching
for it. they came across my collection of
97 hubcaps and turned me in. This
being my first arrest, the judge put me
on probation for a ye:

This time I felt lucky, so I pleaded
guilty to the amotape-thele charge and
threw myself on the mercy of
judg ately
have the same name as mine—Timothy
Murdock—and he was so incensed and
outraged that I'd sullied his proud name
that he s ne to three years in
which is in the fer-

nother

в, who unfortu turned out to

hs of growing the most
beautiful vegetables you ever saw, I
was let out, My parole officer got
job with a Los Angeles swimming-pool-
construction company, helping the guys
who knew what they were doing. I didn't
carn much and barely managed to get by.
After Soledad, J stayed as clean as а
ain-washed eggplant I didn't want to
get caught doing anything that would
send me back to the clanger.

It was while raising vegetables in Sole-
dad that I found God. What I mean,

са

either a cabbage is going to head or it
isi; either 1000 radishes will go to leaf
or they won't. It doesn’t depend on how
much you water or fertilize the damn
things; God in Ніз infinite wisdom
makes decisions cven for vegetables.

So when 1 found the credit cards, I
knew at once that God had put them
there for me to find and He wouldn't
have done so if He hadn't wanted me to
ke use of them. I figured He knew I'd
been a hard worker and a mighty good
but poor boy for over a year and that I
deserved a few nice thing

Besides. this was a Saturday and God
knew that William L. Wilson couldn't
report his lost cards till the banks and

credit departments were open again on
Monday, which gave me two days with
out any sweat. God always knows what
He's doing.

1 made a list of things I really needed,
like new tires and some clothes. Then 1
listed things T wanted, like a supply of
good booze and some cassettes for my
stereo. At the end of this list, I wrote:
"Great big expensive dinner im really
high-class place!

But I didn't want 10 cat alone, so Т
called Doreen, a very luscious and desir-
able girl who sometimes posed for nude
photos and whom I'd dated a couple of
times but never made out with, mostly
because she liked big spenders. I'd told
her F was an executive trainee who was
slated to become sales manager as soon as
Га learned all about swimming pools.
Doreen suggested sweetly that I call her
after J made sales manager.

She ит sound too thrilled when I
asked her out to dinner that night, but
when I told her ГА won $3100 on a daily
double and wanted to get rid of some of
it, her voice went up an octave and she
said that, as a matter of fact. she'd been
hoping for a date tonight, because her
friends Marcia and Harry had just got-

ged and they wanted to cele

e with another couple at Chev

and very expens

where all the movie and TV stars went.

I told her I could afford any те

in the world and we made a d
seven.

Not being exactly a lame-brain, T then
called Chevalier’s and made sure they
honored Master Charge cards.

Half an hour later, wearing the only
suit Thad, I went down and got into my
ak I barely got
“New battery!” went onto

a new

car. The battery was so wi
it started
my list

I'd decided to find a gas station well
out of my neighborhood, but when I was
halfway to downtown L.A., God whis-
pered in my car, "You stupe! When you
charge at a gas station, they put your li-
cense number on the charge slip

Phew! I stopped. and. cursed—without

blaspheming—and pondered, and fi
remembered. something and drove back
to Hollywood and up into the hills and
along a road 1 sometimes used as a short
cut. Luckily, the car was still there. It
was up on blocks next to an old shack
п with vines. It still
had its license plates. No one was home
and no one drove by while I removed
them. Then I drove to a dead end and
switched. plates

T was almost in downtown L.A.
when God told me, "You idiot! There
are по "74 tags on those plates and it's
nearly April! The cops could stop you
and the numbers won't match your regi
tration card!”

I thanked God and parked and with a
screwdriver tried to peel the plastic "74
from my own plates, bur the
ings wouldn't come off. No wor
nobody steals them. So Г had to drive
all the way home and boil water and
pour it over the plates. 1 finally got the
tags off with a razor blade and went
down to put them onto the other plates,
but they wouldn't stick, so T had to go

and was overgrow

wp and get some rubber cement, and
this worked
1 checked my watch: it was 2:30

ready! With all this futzing around, I'd
wasted half the day!

1 finally found a remote gas station
nd told the man about my daily double
and said I could now afford four really
good steel radials and а battery and 1
wanted gas and oil, too, and also some
new windshield wipers. My bill came to
$235.87.

Then I drove back to Hollywood and
to a liquor store and bought three cases
of very fine assorted hard booze and a
све of expensive wines and а case of
French champagne at $8.75 a bottle,
with, of course, ten percent off for the
case, which saved me 510.50. which I
spent on Macadamia nuts, which 1 love
but can never afford.

"The bill was over 5450 and the clerk
who took my Master Charge said he had
to call in for any purchase over $25
While he was dialing, Г suddenly got
panicky. Maybe this Wilson was a dead-
beat who hadn't settled. his account for
months! But all was fine. God was still
sitting on my shoulder.

Then I drove to Music City and
bought $123 worth of stereo tapes. Again
they checked my card and again all
was OK

I walked up Vine Strect to а jewe
store and spent 5275 for some lovely 18-
kt gold and aquamarine carri to
match Doicen's eyes. E knew what 1 was
doing.

I'd saved the best for last. If there
one thing I really like, irs buying
clothes. 1 even like trying on expensive

things J couldn't possibly afford. I drove

(continued on page 171)

licalotandusca
-, fairly clean two-by-four

Ц ~ drink ByRON SPEER for that little old wine maker —you—
0A a down-home guide to getting it on with the grape or whatever else is handy

PROBING THE MYSTERIES of making wine is a popular
pastime these days, and most wine books have
been so simplified that anyone with a Ph.D.
in chemistry or advanced calculus can pro-
duce a decent vintage with very little trou-
ble. All you need to do, according to the
books for that little old wine maker—
you—is to fit hydrometer A.14 into fer-
mentation lock 8-CLR, mix a yeast that
would be the envy of General Mills,
multiply one fourth the gravity table
times the square root of the nutrient,
then bottle and save for seven years.
What's needed for a good wine, 1 noted
in the last winezmaking book I
read, is а “reasonably well-balanced
must" That sounded reasonably
well balanced, but I couldn't discov-
er from the author what a must was. 1
decided finally that, in my case, it meant I
must keep buying and forget about bottling.
It was about this time that fate interceded
and I found myself dispossessed of my big-
city job and back in the cattle country of
northwest Nebraska, where 1 was reared. This
isn't exactly a wine drinker's paradise. A well-
stocked liquor store in these parts has 78
brands of bourbon, three kinds of Scotch, an as-
sortment of vodka and peppermint schnapps—
and two kinds of wine, Mogen David and
something a litde sweeter. So it was back to the
winemaking books for me, in hopes that 1
could convert rhubarb and currants and apples
into vin ordinaire, as I think the wine books
call it. My thirst for a glass of the grape was
great—but my comprehension had not grown.
Then, as abruptly as any dry-voting, wet-
drinking Baptist in the South, I was saved. It Вар-
pened on a hot September afternoon. I was
driving a herd of cattle down the Niobrara River
Valley when I happened to see some wild grapes.
Standing near them was an old friend, Leonard
Peters, wearing a baseball cap and bib overalls. An
unlikely costume for a savior, but savior he was.
“Wouldst thou care for nectar blessed by the
gods?” asked Leonard, or words to that effect. (Ac-
tually, he said, “Get off your horse and have a drink,
if you can strain it through your hippie mustache.”)
So I dismounted and Leonard took me to his base-
ment, where he commenced uncorking samples of his
work. Nothing fancy in appearance, since the bottles
had previously held vanilla extract, cranberry juice and
soda pop, but plentiful, vintage stuff. Maybe the best усаг
ever on the Niobrara River was the vine of "73.
I had a tad of currant, a swallow of chokecherry, a goodly
helping of rhubarb, a taste of dandelion, a swig of apple,
a mouthful of wheat and even two varieties of grape.
Then I worked my way back through his stock, marveling
with every sip (out of the bottle, of course; goblets aren't
big in these parts). They all were potable. (I'm throwing
in potable to add alittle class (continued on page 172)

ILLUSTRATION BY FREO NELSON

PLAYBOY

158

Land of theTooth Bandit

progress when T arrived at the scene.
(I should say near the scene, as Гуе
maintained a discreet distance, not want-
ing to intervene, in case it embarrasses
the old gentleman or causes a public
disturbance.)

The other
yama’s tour group and their gi
where in sight; they're wander
on the other side of the park, i
Japanese tea garden, perhaps,
Mr. Mt
ago when he decided to ta
stroll. It was because he detached himself
Irom his fellow travelers, thereby con
tadicting an abiding myth about Jap:
nese group instincts, that Г followed him
to the Science Academy, where I found
him in his present situation—
that some might construe as clear proof
of that venerable maxim from Zen: The
e that sticks up is soon. hammered
down.

members of Mr. Mura-
ides are no-

where
ayama left them a little wh

situation

is a nota-
tion to this effect name on the
t distributed at the San Fran
ng by Jalpak, the

H8 of his compatriots)
package tour of the American West. They
have cach paid about 5735 for the wip,
ils and optional side wips extra

L
ub

(continued [rom page 151)

cont;
nd a

ing a free pair of paper slippers
1 of Fujicolor, 20 exposures.
Having joined the group in the United
States, 1 get none of these accessories, al-
though, as an honorary member for the
ground arrangements, ГИ see San Fran-
sco, Yosemite National Park, Los An-
geles, Disneyland and Las Vegas.
But back to the attempted plu
Murayama's Ikt, dazzle

1 think the Iady is of Hispanic origin,
dark, middle-aged and not unati
she holds a hardcover Spanish-Germ
dictionary tucked under her left arm. For
all I know, she could be Canadian or
Yugoslav. What is certain is that she's
grasping Mr. Murayama’s jaw with her
left hand and manipulating his teeth
with the fingers of her right: gently but

aly, a competent dentist on the job.
None of the people passing by shows any

nterest in her work.

1 wonder what Mr. Murayama will tell
his friends when he is home, sitting on
the tatami, dicking the slide-project
controls. "Oh, уе, it's customary in
America to be greeted by strangers who
fondle your teeth. A Mexican ritual, pos-
sibly, still observed in certain parts of
California.

1 can't
mo

der of

understand. why he doesn't
He's just standing there, no
sign of alarm or even apprehension on
his genial, nut-brown face, Perhaps he's
suffering from terminal jet Elev

№

с us

“He may be Colonel Sanders to you, bit he's
Adolf Eichmann to me!”

hours on the plane (it was held up by
strong head winds over the Pacific), ar-
riving in a time zone 17 hours behind
the one he left, and then straight onto
the bus for five hours of sight-seeing.
This might account for his condition of
simulated. rigor mortis—or have 1 mis-
read the entire thing? Did he perhaps ask
the woman to feel his teeth and, Изо, why?

But there, the dilemmas are resolved:
She s herself by dropping one hand
to Mr- Murayama's crotch and giving it
a friendly squeeze. The old gentleman
steps back, an awakening grin on his
face, and presents the lady with a fiber-
tip pen from a collection of pens clipped

is breast pocket. Then he bows, war-
nd walls quite rapidly to the place
behind the open-air stage where the
buses are waiting.

Before the group arrived this morn
Tony Yan alpa i
representative, briefed the tour guides on
their responsibilities, the first of these
being to make sure that the people
boarding the s g buses out-
side the terminal were bona fide members
of the group and not unrelated passengers
from the same flight. There have been
occasions, Mr. Yanagase explained, when
nonmembers, evidently tired and d
oriented after the journey, have attached
themselves to Jalpak groups, causing un-
necessary confusion.

н) Japanese going one way,
so they go the same way,” Mr. Yanagasc
says. To prevent this, guides stand at the
Customs exit and exhibit the company
colors. They do not carry flags. "They
don’t like them," Mr. Yanagase says.
“They think flags are stupid.

In the parking lot outside the arriva
terminal, soft cries of astonishment punc-
шасе the sunlit morning as members of
the group hurry from one vantage point
to another, absorbing first impressions of
the republic through the viewlinders of
Nikons and Canon Super 8 movie cam-
cras. One man has captured the likeness

concrete abutment of the ramp
ading to rhe departure building: he
photographs it from three angles. Other
Cultural prizes are discovered and re-
corded i

Clic c grille of a ^71 Torino.

Whirr: 60 seconds of American am;
walking toward terminal
long shot of a €

Click: general view of the parking lot,

looking west.

traveling panoramic survey

from the tails of distant airliners, across

open ground, zoom and fade on large

building.
А thin

rinning young man wearing a
de of a shaggy fur material
gives me his business card, the third
I've received since the group arrived. On
k of this one is the handwritten
inscription, “Tabo, assistant manager of

Зрепа а milder moment -
with Raleigh.

And discover really satisfying tobacco taste.

Introducing
Here's a great gadget for gold Raleigh Extra Milds
panning and other outdoor activ- 5
ities! This 6-in-1 Tool is hatchet, Mild natural flavor
hammer, saw (inside handle), nail Lowered tar
puller, bottle opener and shovel, BROWN в WILLIAMSON TOBACCO CORP.
all in one. Yours for free B&W. ES
coupons, the valuable extra on Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
every pack of Raleigh. That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
To see over 1000 gifts, write

for your free Gift Catalog: Extra Milds, 13 mg. “tar,” 0 .9 то, nicotine; Filter Kings,
Box 12, Louisville, Ky. 40201. 16 mg. “ter,” 1.1 mg. nicotine: Longs. 17 mg. “tar,”
1.1 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report Mar. 74

PLAYBOY

160

у Moroguchi in Kyou
scinated by the stance of a
st a nearby
h

ight Fami
Tabo is
driver who leans aga
building, indolent and cowboyish, wi
the sole of onc raised shoe pressed ag;
the wall and fingers hooked into his belt.
“You never see old people stand like
that in Japan,” Tabo says, raising а cam-
cra. “Very . . . casual, But so heavy, I
think. How hurting if falling down, all
that heavy. Yes. Everyone too big in
America. Eating too many food things.
"What's a night family?”
1 don't know how to say in
bur it come from America.

glish,

Before boarding the buses, the original
group of 119 is divided into smaller
groups according 10 length of visit and
optional side trips. Some members arc
staying longer than eight days, others

sady left to visit relatives els

small percentage are goi

to Mexico. We have six honeymoon сон
ples. one of whom. strictly speaking. is
cling in sin. This will be rectified
tomorrow by marriage at a local Protes-
tant church. “We prefer to use the Prot-
estams.” а Jalpak guide explains. “The
Catholic ceremony takes too much time
and the priests always want people to
convert. Protestants are not so fussy.
These vagaries of occidental religious
to surprise my informant, who
“The real wedding is held when
they return to Jap:

buses, following Highway 101 to San
rancisco through a suburban landscipe
of factories, railroad yards and indige-
uring works in neon and

pleasant lady who speaks fluent English,
translates the guide's commentary that is
relayed over the speaker system. It is a
bly efficient sound system, pow-
eful enough, опе would imagine, to
-sized iceberg, but the lady
ext o me and the rest of the
show no discomfort.

“I suppose he's describing the si
Task.

“A little. but mostly other things—in-
dustry, freeways, water and power sup
plies, house and land prices, Califor
history, bridge construction and
ture. Very interesting lor us Jap

“Why is everyone laughing:
"Because someone ask why there are so
ny motel signs. In Japan, motels are
ces where lovers go lor oue or two
ars. Small places, very discreet.”

group

“We have the same system here.”

“Yes, but so indiscreet. АП those big
motel signs everywhere—nor same in
Japan.”

At Civic Center, our
tures, an unauthorized man is discovered
mong us. He looks distracted and «polo
getic and is led away. explaining himself.
I want to know whether he's one of
those errant followers who have slipped
through the airport cordon or whether
he has merely been assigned to the wrong

t stop for ріс

Tabo, the furry-necktied young m
lights at Civic Center carrying enough
photographic equipment to start а mail-
order business. He draws my attention
to a scruffy old Saab parked in front of
the bus.

“Why this car so dirty? In. Japan we

COCHRAN!

“My God! That's my gynecologist!”

keep cars clean
dirty thi
“What do you do with the old ones?”
“ALL new cars i
front of tre

Always new ones, not old

In a window on Post Street, a resident
displays a metal sign made to resemble a
California license plate and be the
leners rk ххх. Should I try to explain
this to the nice lady in the next seat? Bet-
ter not. И she was so upset by the motel.
signs, God knows what she'd make of the
political statement.

On through Haight-Ashbury

"The former mecca of the hippies”
my seat companion translates, The words
Arren Ginsbergeru and Grateluru Dead-
1 boom from the speakers, st
cataleptic youth on the curb into
blance of movement as we pass

We stop for more pictures at Tw
aks. Afterward, as we drive down the
l. Таро takes the seat behind
nd leans over the top. "Too much c:
ing in America," he says. "Too much
heavy people.” Не is becoming critical
on the weight question. Time to take de-
fensive measures.

1 ask him, "What about that m;
the back of the bus?" This is a Li
hulking individual whom 1
first time at the Twin Peaks мор. He
wears an aquamarine Lee Trevino golf
cap with a long peak and has one of the
biggest faces I've ever seen.

Ah, he not typical Japanese," Tabo
> "This по wrestler, Name
Morning Ocean—has famous restaurant
Kagoshima.”

Morning Ocean looks rather. fed пр.
I've noticed. Yawns а lot—understand-
ble after the flight and the sight-seeing—
nd he hangs around the edges of the

wd when we stop. looking broody and

пуопс. Keeps the golf
p pulled low over his cars and fiddles
h the peak. Once, when he removed
it to fan himself, 1 saw that he w
his hair long, upswept ed at
the crown in a topknot, sumo style. Irs

at
ge
w for the

n su

also coed with а potent
ry shiny. “Necessary him

much and plenty sleeping," Tabo
ишу. n hungry

adl the time

"They run this all goofy," our bus
er says. “These people need rest—
shouldn't be running around like
this all day. Flying straight from
for crying out loud,

We're standing by the bus w:
turn from lunch ata
rs Wharf restaurant. The sight-
secing tour is running almost two hours
xondiug 10 the driver,
who, I've learned, is known to the guys at
Silver Fox, I like our d
: am incredibly dapper turnout, flight-
deck overtones in the uniform, with sleek

salire By ROBERT CAROLA WORD P LAY
mes with the king's english in which words becoi

more fun and gan me delightfully self-descriptive

Decembrr ‘Twogether
ОЕЗЕСТ

<RROS МИМШҮ
DETOUR Q'tto

СІРЕ ONSE
UNSOFISTICATED .

PLAYBOY

162 carry those F

“Organdy party dresses at
home, little black evening dresses at the office —as a
transvestite, my son is a joke."

gray hair dressed in a voluptuous duck-
tail, fronted by rancher's mustache and
black wrap-around shades. His bearing is
that of а man who has seen many m
sions in heavy flak over enemy lines. I
am sure there are crow's-feet behind the
dark glasses.
In the hin

est tradition of his kind, Sil-
ver Fox excellent source of intelli-
gence. (Yesterday I met а bus. driver
from the same company who informed
me that his model-train layout was worth
$6000, that he was formerly a wealthy ir
list and that the catering fran-
chises in the national parks of America
were controlled by the Mafia.) Silver

just confided that Madame
shek owns more real estate in
Angeles than any other living person
and that in San Francisco, the Japa-
nese travel agency that makes millions by
running convoys of buses filled with
horny Japanese men to the brothels in
the Nevada desert. I commit these items
to my notebook.

“They're the greatest people to work
for, the Japs,” Silver Fox says. "You
could pay me double and I wouldn't
ach and German assholes

up the block, but ГИ take your typical
Japanese tourist anyplace. Nicest, politest
people you could hope to mect. Great
tippers, too.”

Our first jet-lag victim: а girl who col-
lapses after lunch and is helped to her
feet, blushing.

Heavy going for the afternoon part of
our tour, Jetlagged casualties on
sides, but our guides amplified v
chatty and bri
pause. My seat companion is asleep and
all I can do is recognize the occa

g Irom the speakers, Alcatraz, Machine
Gun Kelly, Tony Bennett, Candlestick
Park, the Giants,

‘Then Vista Point, our last stop before
checking in at the Hilton. Once again we
get out with our cameras.

А Japanese youth, not one of our
group. sits in a dramatic pose on a low
wall overlooking the cliff at Vista Point.
He has hair to his shoulder h
dressed for the frontier, with fringed
buckskin jacket and leggings over Indian
moccasins. The hat is early Republic Pic-
tures, a little out of context. Many of the

younger members of the group pose with
him for photographs, but one man from
our bus, Hiroshi Kurita, after speaking
to the youth, apparently doesn't approve.
"That boy been in America three
months," Mr. Ku forms me. "Can-
not go back to Japan with hair like that
Mr. Ku crisp gray crewcut and
the build of a karate instructor. He takes
deep breaths when he gets off the bus

mines his surroundings with
shrewd, measuring суе
ve at the Hilton late the aft-

and are told to stay on the bus
| the baggage has be
This takes 90 minutes. Tour
other parts of the world might in the
same circumstances rise from their seats
and ery for blood, but, being well be-
haved and exhausted, we do as we are
told. E have just learned that before room
keys arc issued, there will be a 30-minute
in the Teakwood Room at
the group will be acquainted with
tricacies of Ameri atel proce-
dure. Eleven hours on the plane, five on
the bus and now a le Fortunately,
we get almost an hour of free time before
leaving for this evening's four-hour
nightlife tour.

“These briefings are most important,"
Mr. Yanagase says. “Japanese tow
study hard before coming to America,
they try to learn everything they can, but
we must explain certain points for older
people.” Among these essentials are ad-
ва Western-style bed, the

nts, telephones and shower

місе on us
hotel restau
controls.
In the Teakwood Room, Morning
Ocean sprawls in his chair, huge fists on
his knees and eyes closed. He looks like a
man who would wke a bath and eat his
food any way he chosc and the hell with
it. Everyone else, miraculously revived,
pays close attention, though some of the
honeymooners look restless. The group
advised to deposit valuables in the hotel
safe and пог to leave money belts in the
room. “We tell them not to walk west of
the Hilton or below Market Street," Mr.
js. “The language barrier is
problem for J People mis-
understand them and take away their
money, unfortunately.
The night tour has fewer than 90
members, the others having given up for
the day or, alarming thought, gone down
to Market Street to practice their English
and learn about urban crime. If so, I
hope Mr. Kurita, who is not among the
nightlife party, is leading the column.
Our first stop is the rooftop bar of the
Fairmont Hotel, where we receive one
free dr middleaged journali
from Ehime gives me his card and invites
me to join his table of half a dozen gr:
suited men. My host and his comp

©. TheQuintrix picture
` With an extra prefocu
_our sharpest pictuig е

This year space-age technology comes

to Panasonic color TV. The Quintrix
picture tube. It has an extra prefocus
lens. That concentrates and focuses
the electron beam. To bring you our
sharpest picture ever. . Е

It's also our 2
brightest picture
ever. Because the
new Quintrix tube
is mounted ona
powerful 28.5 kv
chassis.

But our picture
tube isn't all we
borrowed from
outerspace.Fvery ES І
ОџаігесоІог“ set ВЗ NES
has a modular Quintrix picture tube with
chassis. With 75% toncenralad electron peam.
ofthe circuitry on five modular boards.
So if service is required, it's usually as
easy as snapping the old module out
anda new one in.

And our
circuitry is -
100% solid
state. For re
greater reliability
and less power ,
consumption.
About 30% less than
our conventional
hybrid sets. |
` And there’s Q-Lock™.
One button that electroni-
cally controls color, tint,
brightness and contrast. Even
when you change channels, Q-Lock’s

- Circuitry seeks out the best picture.

Quatrecolor. With the „= Y
unique Quintrix picture (o) 2
tube and extra prefocus x
lens. For our sharpest, 9

brightest picture ever. Guatrecolor

Panasonic.

just slightly ahead of our time.

AOWMAUTA

“In Russia, you'd be painting your tractor.”

164

belong to a Japanese political organiza
tion that, as Ї understand it, occupies the
neutral ground somewhere berween Billy
Graham and the Waffen $S. They are
leaving the tour tomorrow to go to
Miami.

We study road paving, drainage sys-
tem, construction and newspaper offices,”
the journalist says. “Also, we like to
meet women and—ah—have big party
You work for girlie magazine. You fix,
please.”

He translates this for his friends, who
look at me with skepticism. Questions are
flung across the table.

“This man over here very interested in
gambling and sewers,” the newspaper-
man says. "Не want to talk to you about
these things.

“They're not my strongest subjects,”

“You like journalism? We like jou
nalism. Topless journalism, yes? We
drink to journalism
Cheers.”

By the time we've visited Finocch
(House of the Fabulous Female Imper-
somators) and the Condor (The Fabu
lous Carol Doda), our small contingent
shows signs of advanced wilt. Morning
Ocean, asleep at his table, wakes abrupt-
ly at the stripper music, focuses hungrily
on the siliconed contours onstage and
drops his head onto his arms when the act
is Спрей. We are led back to the bus,
dragging our feet. God knows how eve
one will recover for tomorrow's trip to
Yosemite: another ten hours on the bus,
ting right after breakfast.

When we return to the Hilton, Morn-
ng Ocean starts growling and demand-
g food. He wants a steak, but the hotel
restaurant is closed. Standing in the
lobby, rubbing his stomach and making
vigorous hand gestures toward his open
mouth, he reminds me of a large fledg-
ling that somehow missed the last feed. I
offer to weat him
steak place along the street. There,
Morning Ocean disposes of two sirloins
and iwo servings each of sautéed cauli-
flower, home-fried potatoes, а bowl of
clam chowder, cherry pic à la mode and
the contents of the br sket,

With our guide t T ask ou
bloated friend what he thinks of San
Francisco.

"He says this place too slow, not so fast
as Tokyo."

“Which part of the trip is he look-
d to most—Hollywood? Las

ad our guide

not

“Buy clothes. Cannot get clothes to fit
п Japan. He come to buy clothes
and see Mickey Mouse in Disneyland.”
large smile seules on Morning
Ocean's face at these familiar words.

"Disneyrand," he
Mickey Mouse."

says. "Disneyrand

And up soon alter dawn for the fou
hour ride to Yosemite. Morning Occan
hasn't joined us nor have many of the
other people I've met, but Seiicho Mori-
mura and Kikuko, his extremely pretty
wife, sit across the aisle and translate our
guide's running commentary. It is the
same as yesterday's but adapted to suit

our rural surroundings: real estate, free
ways, agriculture, the ns of
houses. homes.”
Seiicho so much
space in names for

streets. Not same in Japan.”
We stop in Modesto at Web's Burger
Stand, Three busloads of Japanese visi-

shutters, the boy grins uncerta
drives off in a spectacular dusty skid.

Our route takes us south of Victor, Cal-
ilornia, where nine people were found
murdered this morning. What does Sei
icho think about that? He looks at h
wife and murm nething before an
swering. “Americ ich blood coming
from many places ing in same
place,” he says, hes In Japan, we
have mostly one people in same place.
You have many different kinds. This not

ways good.” He does not want to pur-
sue the topic.

An uncomfortable moment at the /
wahnee restaurant in Yosemite when we
arrive for lunch. One of a dozen business
suited men at а table near the back, а
man in his 50s, looks at us with undis
guised hostility and remarks in a loud
Jesus Christ. they're everywhere.
1 don't expect th

Another man at the ys: “You
ought to see them in Europe, they're all
over the goddamn place." We take ou

am alcove at the rear; 1 don’t
any of the English speakers
rd what was said, but we c;
in an untypical silence.
d. 1 find the Mo
nding at the edge of a steep. wooded
- A waterfall drops in a thin sunlit
y from a СМГ thousands of fect above
d an unscen river crashes and grum-
bles among the tall pines on the ca
yon floor. "Amer re very fortunate
to live in such beauty.” Seiicho says. "It
must make them very happy.”

The Western Airlines flight to Los 2
geles the next morni

ans

Japanese, a stewardess re-
to ex

who teaches English and Jap.
language school
ing her words slowly and deliberatel

the stewardess gives Mr. Matsuo his in-
structions: “Tell them we so sorry about
delay. We go soon. We give everyone free
drinks." Inexplicably, she adopts the
pidgin-English inflections of a mission-
arys wife. Mr. M han ex
pression of baflled intelligence.

“I doubt if they feel like drinking so
carly in the morning,” he says.

"But free! No money, see? Little bot
tles. Mini-a-tures.”

Later, the stewardess explains to me
why so many Japanese tourists visit
America. I's because their government
г fare, enabling them to use
ings to buy houses and land.
strikes again,” 1

personal
“The yellow рей
suggest, having swallowed the contents of
two little bottles.
^] don't know about that,
surc arc a lot of them around. But I like

but there

them, I really do—they're cute.”
Mr. Matsuo, questioned afterward.
confesses that he would appre il
his gover
the United States Government pays
zens’ expenses when they go on vacation
North on the San Diego Freeway and
into Hollywood to start our L.A, sight-
seeing tour. A round of applause greets
the announcement that Califor
the first state to import Japanese cars in
quantity. We are given a detailed analy-
sis of the city’s water problem and, unac-
countably, an outline of the history of
Texas, starring Davy Crockett, the Golda
Rusheru and the Aramo, On the Strip,
we pass two advertising benches at a bus
stop. My shrewd friend Mr. Kurita
what the signs mean. One, issued by the
Los Angeles Police Department, says
FOR THAT RUX-DOWN FEELING TRY JAY-
WALKING; the other is an ad for Groman
Mortuaries. Г try to exp! y the ju
as is slightly—infini-
illy—humorous. Mr. Kurita looks
ic as though I had just begun to froth
at the mouth.
"Look, Mr.
hitchhiking:

Kurita, there's. somconc

"The man holding up h
wants someone to stop and give him а
ride.”

“Why he not ма
thumb? W thumb mean:

"Look at that girl, isn’t she lovely?”
sty young California blonde. lean and
lowy; tight faded Levis, golden-brown
e midrill.

g and
© from,

Mr. Kurita dent bowled over by
Grauman's Chinese Theater, either—or
Mann's, as it is now known. Не was
under the impression that a mold of Mar-
ilyn Monroe's bottom was displayed
the stead, he finds her fect
ands. "Feet not interesting,” he

(continued on page 168)

165

MICKEY GILLEY smelling like a rose

artists. stardom spells prosperity. Not so
local Houston celebrity for the past few
tryand-western single Room Full of
opelled him suddenly to national prominence. The
illey can’t really afford fame. and irs cramping his
1t owner of the most lucrative dance bar in the Hous-
. Gilley, with his piece band, used to be the major
antraction, drawing cap: kend crowds. “But ever since
Room Full hit.” s Гуе been on the road so much I
id tthe club, Almost never on week-
going to cost me money to pursu
this new cn id по idea that r
off ike that" Born in Natchez, Missi
pus parents in Ferriday, Louis
first cousin, the one and only Jerry Lee Lewis.
and singing Gospel music in church, Alter high school, Gilley
entered the construction business, keeping а маа eve on
his cousin’s progress. When Jerry Lee hit with Whole Lot-ta
Shakin’ Goin’ Ou, Gilley decided construction was not his truc

Thats why

After

y. outside Houston. “When T
frst saw that place, 1 laughed." Gilley recalls. “It was а tin
ilding out in the middle of nowhere with а bar and a couple
of wooden chairs. Hell. you could see the sky through. the

i resurrected, Gilley's (leatured on the cover
ree ed Playboy album Room Full of Roses
reviewed elsewhere in this issue) seats up t0 2400 cowboys,
tail т and businessmen, Says Gilley: “I dort know
about this stardom bit, Aside [rom my finances, it’s also
fieree.” Pause, “Thei

nma mess up my golf game somethin
n, there isn't much you can do to a 19 handicap, is ther

JOHN MAHER fiom the gutter to the street

“WERE IN THE recyding business. We take human beings that
society has thrown out and get them back into shape.” So says
John Maher, president of San Francisco's Delancey Street
Foundation, а community ol alcoholics, ex-addias, thieves and
prostitutes—an eclectic mix of those who've roamed hard
through the nether lands. Maher has undergone a pretty thor-

gh recycling himself. Born on New York's Lower
he took up the twin. professions of felony and drug
at an сапу age and wound up at Synanon. He sa
Street differs from Synanon
substitute lifestyle. We don
the Amish and we'd be the Jews.” Whi

d 300
fr
ing comps

lives
indudes
and a bodyguard service. So it pays its own way
nd has gradually earned the support of almost everyone in
town. “The liberals like us "cause of the wonderful good we
do.” says Maher, that playful exaggeration aimed at the bleed-
ingheart mentality he has little pa h, "and the hard-
hats dig us because we preach the work ethic. We don’t care a
helluva Jot for the whiners on Haight who think playin’ with
their wee-wee in public В a revolutionary act.” Delancey Street

arouse neighborhood nervousness some time ago, when

to two mansions in the fashionable ific Heights
“Trying to re-

ids— tha

Maher defended the move
bilitate an addict in the slums is like vying to cure a drunk in

7 Delancey stayed. and grew, Maher next plans to start
centers in New York and Chicago. "Ya see, we're "he says.
We think this country's streets are lined with gold and we
doit know that we can't have some of i rdless of the fact
that we're justa bunch of bums tryin’ to grow up a little." Ihe
wants to move Delancey to our street, he's more than welcome

arca of the city, B

ici

EFT COHEN

JEFF COHEN

MARGO ST. JAMES chair‘madam”

SHE 15 THE unofficial hostess of hip Sa
all the obligatory colortul jobs: cocktail wa
extra, hooker. The skid-row derelicis who
House Hotel love her. and so do the North Beach literati
Vif Richard Hongisto is on her board of directo’ c
ul Krasner and Kate Millett. Margo St. James
lam of COYOTE (Call Off Your ОМ Tired Ethics). the
first ‘Givilaights organization for prostitutes, was arrested in
1961 for prostitution—before she ever turned a trick. И took
а year and а half for the conviction то be overturned for lack
ol evidence. Afterward. she decided. “Everyone wa
lieve E was a whore, so I might as well bc onc." Shu
1 never did diat much hooking, because 1w Ily in it
for the money. E just wanted to pay my rent and feed my

sco. She's had
movic
Harbor

neve

friends.” А healih-food enthusiast, а nondrinker, a jogger and
а feminist, St. James is hardly typical of the image that prostitu

years, The link berween
is obvious. she says: “H a
to do with her own lile
decide to sell her own time
for profit. Thats up Iront. at least, Lots of women make that
financial arrangement, only they call it m M San
Francisco's city jail. she teaches courses in. grooming and
money management 10 the hookers. COYOTE initiates Le
ion whenever appropriate: funded by dona
it works lor deer

tion has generated lor the рам 2000
women's liberation aud COYO LE
woman has the right to decide wh:
d be good at

then she e

wal
y step 10 equality of the sexes. There are now two Пейн
chapters. ASP in Seattle and PONY in New York, where
millionaire philanthropist Stewart. Mott serves on the board
Since COYOTE uses Y. M.C.A. оке space and St, James is а
frequent Bay Arca talkshow guest, it all seems very legit some
how. But Margo puts everything into the right perspective
“Tve gone public. First 1 sold ass. now I plan to kick som

167

PLAYBOY

168

Land of the Tooth Bandit (continued [rom page 165)

mutters. “More interesting if bottom. It
says bottom in my book.

Morning Ocean's big moment arrives:
Disneyland and Mickey Mouse. He is
dressed for the occasion in a kimono ol
delicate blue and white, with white socks
and wooden sandals. The hair, thorough:
ly greased, is magnificent. As he crosses
the lobby of the Beverly Hilton, nostrils
twitch in the miasma of dead goats it
exudes, but Morning Ocean strides to
the bus without looking left or right.
1 have never seen such a purposeful ex-
pression on his face. We sit together on
the drive to Anaheim, our conversation
restricted to the repetition of the word
Disneyland and a sort of competition in
which we name the central cha
from Uncle Walt’s Magi

think he has a guilty secret about Snow
White
My weight-obsessed friend Tabo isn’t

coming today. He's lurking around the
hotel pool. hoping to meet the girl he
но on last night's sightseeing tour
chinatown and the Mexican market

°
important figure
business. When Т
low minutes ago, he g that те.
markable shaggy fur necktie again. I ad
vised him to leave it off for the day.
Arriving at Disneyland, we file
through the gate d for tours.
Morning Ocean actually runs when we
мо my
posing with a
Snow White

panese record
the lobby а

get inside, shoving his camera

hi
be

ids. I photograph 1
ar, a tiger, Peter Pa

(twice), Goofy and
Other visitors give him the
hold and stand next to

graphed by their relatives
sumed by his costume that Mo

Captain Hook.
children to

when the noon parade passes, he stands
on the sidewalk, waving happily. About
а dozen of us leave carly in the aft
noon, but Morning Ocean stays behind.
The last I sec of him he is buying Mickey
Mouse T-shirts in a store on Main Street.
xuralarge size.

Interlude at the ticket counter, Los
Angeles International Airport, while we
ve waiting to board a flight to Las
Vegas. A pink-haired lady im а psyche-
delic muumuu has engaged the hus-
band of one of our honeymoon couples
п conversation.

“My husband and 1 were in Japan a
year ago. Wonderful counwy, charming
people. We planned to return this year,
but my husband died a month after we
came home.

“Аһ, T am so sorry.
Thank you. We h
time. Is this your first
States?”

“And you're going to Las Vegas now?
You must be drilled about that."

“Yes, I think so, but Las Vegas is not—
ah—our final purpose in United States.
Yosemite and Grand Canyon more bcau-
America beautiful country.”
"Oh, that’s just scenery. You'll love

1 a marvelous

sit to the United

^I know she can't type, file or take shorthand. How about

giv

ing her a job as a paperweight?”

as. Tell your wife I think she’s a love-
ly шие creature.”
“Thank you

Our hotel in Las Vegas is the Stardust—
пос the plushest on the Su ip, but it has
a neon sign the size of a small town and
the group members are duly flabbergast
ed. On my way to make a predinner run
on the tables, I pass the wide-open door
of Mr. Murayama's room. The old gen-
deman is engaged in calisthenics of some
sort, bent over with his back to the door
and wearing what can only be described
as a G string. Ds clear that he wa
tention at the briefing.

From friends in Las Vegas I hear that
ambitious plans are afoot for the expect
cd increase in the number of Japanese
visitors, so instead of accompanying our
group on the Vegas bus tour—our num-
ber now reduced to about 1 am
mecting Joe O'Raych. Mr. O'Raych, in
addition ло being a former slot mechanic

nd. currently, hotel and casino execu-
tive at the Tropicana Hotel, is а convert-
cd Buddhist and a member of Nichiren
Shoshu of Amer

“You can say it’s a lay organization of
believers in the teachings of the true
he says when we meet in the
ma colle shop. Approximately
every three minutes, Mr. O Rayeh's name
is announced from the ceiling and he
leaves to take a telephone call. In this re-
spect, he appears to be orthodox Vegas.

“We spent somewhere between cighty
thousand and a hundred thous:
lars on а Tropicana promotion р:
Tokyo” Mr. O'R: s berween
absences. “We've got Japanese menus, an
audio-visual presentation in Japa

basic rules for craps, roulette and
blackjack—and we're giving hall-hour
gaming lessons exclusively for Japanese
guests.”

A man wearing tinted glasses and a
colorful ensemble of woven chemical fi-
hers approaches our table and whispers
urgent words into Mr. O'Rayeh's car, He
introduced as Rick, the manager of the
hotel's keno office. He, too, is a member
of Nichiren Shoshu. “I was a Catholic Го
thirty years.” Rick says. “Then I got in-
volved in Nichiren Shoshu. I can't tell
you what it's done for me—every day 1
look at myself in the mirror and say,
“There you are, that’s you!" I would
have pursued this theological line, but
Rick abruptly resumes his whispered
urgencies and then gets up and leaves.

Mr. O'Raych gives me his card. It's
printed in English
a lot of time ov
it—just love that county

There is а rumor
of Japanese businessmen—rich bi
nessmen—dropped a fortu
months ago on the tables at the
Hotel, somewhere between $1,000,000

(concluded on page 172)

town

P Tala ta

-E „=

That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous

THINK SILVA THINS 10

Genera

Warning: The Surgeon

THE
шл аа
KLIBAN

Join us as we tour the padded brain
cells of this unique cartoonists mind

humor

YES, IT WAS... WAS IT
600р FoR You, тоо?

YOU LITTLE ASSHOLES
DONT KNOW HOW,
GOOD Youve бот 1T -

КАЛ CANT MAKE ме!
ITS DARICIN THERE! 1 wont GO!
LEAVE ME MONE! Ги. TELL!
YOULL BE SORRY!

YOUD BETTER COME NOW, Doc

TOR
PLEASED To МЕЕТ You SHE'S STRTING TO HAVE HER BABIES!
А TirwitLow You SAY?

PLAYBOY

172

Land of the Tooth Bandit

(continued from page 168)
000,000, according to the rumor.
won these figures to Al Guzm
ands PR director, and ask if he can
verify the amount
No comment."

“Can you be more specific?

"Let's just substantial amount of
money was played.”

On my last day with the tour—it's
going to Honolulu, I'm flying to Chica-
go—we return to the Beverly Hilton
Los Angeles, where the group will w
for those members who left at the bi
ning of the week on independent travels.
My jour iend and his political
where, he
tells me, they had more luck with the
drains than with the women. Morning

Mickey Mouse T-shirt. Tabo reports that

п the nightlife tour
t the pool. He has a

the girl he met ©
never showed up

many typical farmers") and about Ame
ican food, "! g taste same. Chick-
n like steak, steak like hamburge
nburger like chicken. Plenty food on
plate, not plenty different taste in
mouth." Everyone is looking forward to
Honolulu, where theyll spend a n
and a day before going home.

ah
Jem, you se
one who speaks Japanes

They can always find some-
‚ Order meals

restaurants, argue with taxi drivers. go
shopping without being swindled. They
feel [ree in Hawaii—it's almost the same
s being home.

1 have а farewell drink with the Мо
muras, who, like everyone I've spoken to,
would like 19 come back alone
nd spend more time. During his week in
ted States—his first visit to this
country—Seiicho Morimura has been
listening. “I think Ameri
can people have not much nuance,” he
s in his usual hesitant, questioning
hion. "Not gentle. Very friendly, but
too hard, not shy. Japanese people too
shy, yes? We think perhaps necessary to
be shy sometimes so other people not
ns, but maybe in А
care what oth-

worried by acti

ca many people not alwa
ers think. This с:
time we come,
not so hard.’

be worr

ever

Old. Mr.
most of his fiber-tip
them among the nati
els and replenishing the collection in his
breast pocket from a hidden supply.
Over the past few days, he has formed a
friendship with two other elderly men,
wiry and wizened like himself; possibly
he chose them for reasons of collective se-
curity. as both are generously fitted with
gold between the gums. I never did ask
Mr. Murayama about adventure that
Golden Gate Park. No doubt
proverb that justifies discretion
ters of this sort.

has given away
ШЕШТИ

there is

“Well, il’s good to see you out of your gourd again!”

lie alot
(continued from page 157)

10 this story. It means fit to drink.)
"Forsooth," I cried, “this wine belongs
to the gods and should be saved for the
ages! Let's have another round
We did. In fact, we had two more
rounds. The next day, I got the cattle 1
ing out of a neighbor's cornfield.

The suit still is pending, but that's anoth-

your recipe.
reluctant, knowing how cr
kingdom had become im the past

say no whe

plified books put out by wine makers.
"Ive never had any trouble under-
nding how to fit the hydrometer into
the fermentation lock and mix the must
with the yeast to get the right specific
gravity for the ient" he said. "But
the only problem is, after I bought all
that junk and read all those books and
followed all those directions. the wine
tasted awful. So I found an old settler's
recipe for making all kinds of wine,
that’s what Г use now.

"What," inquired L “de you call your
method?”

“The wo-by-four recipe,” he replied
“If you've been in the city so long you've
lorgoten what a two-by-four is, it’s a
board two inches thick and four inches
le. D take а two-byfour and beat the
fruit to death with it, and go fn
And 1 don't use anything else somebody
sells except sugar and maybe a couple of
oranges and lemons,

And then he dicated his recipe to me,
after swearing me to secrecy while my
right hand was placed on an old volume
of Wine Making Simplified. Fortunate-
Jy. I had my crossed on the book
when 1 took the oath of secrecy.

The best thing about making home-
made wine my way (you'll notice it's be-
come my way) is that you can use и to
make wine out of almost anything ¢
grows and doesn't bite. For exampl
soon as Г returned from the cattle round-
up to my home m the little town of
Crawford, population 1821. Г spotted а

һан

m there.

put the apples in а huge wooden salad
bowl found a fairly cle.
in the yard and pounded the з
а pulp.

Te was fun.
rosy-cheeked, sel

) two-by-four
ples to

Low of them had the
assured appearance of
shots I had known
1 dumped the pulp
ic garbage c
hed as soon as I borrowed it, added
water and covered it with a dish towel
Once a day J stirred the concoction
with a wooden stick—all the books say

bosses and other 1
п the рам. The

а si

gallon pl

never to use metal—and on the eighth
day I strained it through а pillowcase,
throwing away the pulp and the pillow.
case, and returned the nectar to the ga
bage can. Then I added sugar, lemons
nd oranges, let it set for 24 hours,
stained it through another pillowcase
nd poured the brew—with the help of
а 39-cent plastic funnel—into gallon jugs

and screwed on the lids very loosely
med my first batch Saddle Rock

1
Sauterne, in honor of the towering butte
west of Crawford. Then, changing the
mounts of sugar, lemons and oranges. I
created Sand Creek Chablis, White River
nd Soldier Creek Sherry.
onths Liter, T bottled the wines,
а and brown bourbon and
Scotch boules saved by my favorite bar-
1, Ruth, down at Mary's Баг, and my
igned appropriate labels. and then
we decided to throw a winetasting party.
During the soiree, a lovely young thing
came up to me and said, “The wine is
wonderful. How do you make it

I started. my pitch, going back to the
time Saint Paul said a glass of w
good the tummy, then
plained, "What I do, really, is get ше
some apples and а two-by-four and pound
the apples about а bit, and then dump
them into a garbage cin—

The lovely young thing drifted off
rather suddenly, leaving her glass of
“wonderful” Soldier Creek Sherry on the
kitchen table

The next time I was asked how I
created such a tasty treat, I shrugged my
shoulders, threw out my hands and

m sorry. oll family. secret
That seemed to make the wine even
astier, Apparently, а lot of connoisseurs
of homemade wine don't want the details,
just the delights.

I'm going to share these delights with
but before doing that, I want to
t ош Шаг you can make sweet or dry
пс, as you prefer,

e was

for and ex-

s an

subtracting sug:
t follows is for my favorite version, but
you can make Saddle Rock Sauterne or
White River Rhine or Soldier Cre
Sherry simply by changing the amount of
sugar, orange and lemon additives. And
the recipe for Pine Ridge Rosé can be
amended, too. My friend Leonard Peters
ays it also works for blackberries
rants, raspberries and other fruits and
ber

If you own a
tation Tock, and know how to use it, for-
get my method. But if you like to drink
good wine, for maybe ten cents a bottle,
here we go.

SAND CREEK CHABLIS

Gather ten pounds of apples, cut out
the rotten spots, cut the apples in half,
place in a wooden container, such
large salad bowl, and pound, seeds, core

as a

“Look out, Leon! H's a subpoena!”

and all, to a pulp with a two-by-Iour. Put
the pulp into a fi
ог crockery cor (no metal), pour in
four and a half gallons of cold water, cov-
er with a cloth
day, stirring daily with a wooden stick.
On the cighth day, strain through a dish
towel or muslin cloth, return the liquid
to the container, add eight. pounds of
sugar, the juice, rind (grated) and pulp
of six lemons and three oranges, stir and
leave for 24 hours. Strain through a cloth
again, put into gallon jars or plastic con-
tainers with the lids on loosely, and do
your drinking at your favorite pub for
two months. Then, checking to make
sure no bubbles are in the brew (if there
are, let it stand for up to another month),
strain again, pour into green or brown
bottles, cork and pour on melted red wax
10 help seal the top. and rack, drink or
have а party. The books say to leave it
racked for a year or two, so I alw
ake enough to drink some now and age
st.

m
the

PINE RIDGE KOSÉ.

Gather grapes from the vines or the
supermarket, mash thoroughly with a
two-by-four and put the pulp and juice
into а plastic container, measuring to scc
how much you have in quarts or gallons.
Then add an equa jount of boiling
water and let stand for 24 hours. Strain.
d measure the juice left. For each gal-
Jon of juice, add two pounds of sugar.
Mix well, let stand for 24 hours, strain
d put into gallon jugs with loose caps
L bubbles cease. Bottle and hav
t

If nothing else, my method cuts down
on book-buying costs. And I think you'll
find the end. product tasti pod, 100. As
friend Leonard says, it's not the size
of the hydrometer, it’s the way you use
the two-by-four that counts. And it’s as
ego building as hell to know that not
even Aristotle Onassis, with all his mil
lions, can drink Sand Creek Chablis
unless he’s at my house.

173

PLAYBOY

174

(continued from page 156)
€ шек pus

up and parked across from The Broad-
way Hollywood, a big department. stor
Id heard they had a first-class men’s
clothing department. and, anyway, I fig-
ured that if William L. Wilson had а
Broadway cre the place was
good enough Гог me.

Inside, Г told the salesman that I had
bad news and good news, the bad being
that а fire їп my apanment had de
suoyed all my clothes and the good

ing that Га just gouen а huge check
surance and wanted to buy a
complete new wardrobe. He was thrilled
for me and envious. I gave him the cred-
it card and asked him please to check my
account here, just in case Mis, Wilson
hadn't paid her Broadway bills.

While he was dialing, I suddenly real-
ind that the Broadway credit depart-
ment had to be open today and that
Wilson could have phoned them about
his card! I plotted my escape route
through the aisles. But the salesman
soon hung up and beamed at me
id. "A-OK! Shoot the wor
The sky's the limit!"

That was all I needed. Boy, did 1i
fun at The Broadway! I tried on 11 ex-
pensive suits and bought eight. 1 also
bought ten райх of slacks. five sports
coats. six pairs of shoes, 24 shirts. 12 ties
and 28 pai socks. They had a big
sale on undershorts, so I got two dozen.
J also bought some handkerchiels. Th

bei

son

I selected a beautiful black gabardine
overcoat and a suede jacket and а cash-
mere-lined white pigskin car coat.

Luckily, everything fit me perfectly
right off the rack. But Fd forgotten
about cufling all the trousers, which the
salesman said would be ready on Tues-
day. Sweating a little, I told him 1 had t
have one suit for tonight and that 11
а very good cheap tailor who could fi
ish the trousers.

While waiting for the suit pants. I
wandered around the floor and bought.
three pieces of beautiful matching lug.
gage. in case I could ever afford to go
anywhere, six. pipes and five pounds of
tobacco, a silk dressing gown from Lon
don and some mink-lined leather slip-
pers and а quart of cologne. God, but
s great 10 be rich!

When the trousers were ready and Га
signed the slips—ihey totaled $3026,
duding $181.56 sales Uix—the salesman
and another clerk were kind enough to
help me сату all my stuff acros the
street to my car. Since my trunk was fall
of booze, we had to pile everything onto
the seats.

A fat down walked. by. “Well, I see
you bought ont the store! Whose credit
card did you use, Horace?" He walked
riling

The salesman dutched some of my
clothes to his chest. His gullible eyes
were worried.

to his car. cl

“I was all out of tonic. ГРУ gin and Dr Pepper.”

I laughed. “Tired old joke. I never
ап before.
"said the salesman, relieved. As
he left, he said he hoped Га been sat
fied with the service and that Ве hoped
ГА come hack soon. I felt kind of sad,
knowi; I could never set [oor in
his department again

1 looked at my watch. It was five after
x! I drove home, unable to see out my
rear window for all the clothes. It took
me 20 minutes of running up and down
stairs to unload my сат

Then I shaved and polished my iced
nd showered and sloshed myself with
cologne and put on new shorts and new
socks and а new shirt and the new dark
suit and new black shoes and tied a new

the mirror and grinned at the most gor-
geous dude Fd ever seen in my life!

Doreen greeted me at her door at 7:0
wearing a tight haremidvilfed dress that
told the almost unbelievable. ith. and
nothing but. When she saw my two bot
Пех of champagne, she kissed me. I told
her to chill it, for late

1 gave her the

wanted to sh типе with
someone 1 really cared about. When she
saw the 18 К. marking, she scr
with delight and r
them on and shouted i
she then gave me was the hig:
payment for later my lips have ever
enjoyed.
Chevalicr’s is in Beverly. Hills and its
terior looks like a room in San
The waiters were running
white ties and tails and for a split second
1 thought they'd all gone crazy and w
wying to set fire to the drapes with
torches, but then I realized it was only
Raming food on swords, which you never
McDonald:

As the headwaiter escorted us across
the huge room, all the men bug-eyed De
and hated welldressed handsome
y me. Marcia and Нату were
ly at a table. He turned out to be an
attorney and she worked in а bank and
they tractive couple, except
th "Boo!" in cach
er's ears and the ling

We had drinks and D studied
the menu. which was written by h:
You'd have thought they could afford to
have it printed, at those prices, which
would have sent J. Paul Getty running
our screamin

“Golly, this place ix exper
reen said joyfully. "I hope y

ough money.”

1 didt," 1 sai
old Master Charge card. Shoot the works!
The sky's the limit!"

Harry said he didn't carry credit cards
anymore, because he kept losing his wal
Jet and had spent too many hours on the
phone notilying everybody. Now he just

ing that I

amed
ud put

пто a mirror

see

were ai

Dore

sive!” Do-
u brought.

“

"but E have my trusty

рез saved our marriage
thanks to Marantz speakers.

"Where's the flute Henry?" my wife complained con-
stantly. ! was about ready to leave her. Then we saw a Marantz
dealer. He told us that separation of sound is a true test of a
speaker system. He suggested we put Marantz and

other popular speakers to the test by listening
to a familiar recording so we'd be able to hear
for ourselves that its the speaker and not the
recording that makes the difference. Oh, what
a difference Marantz made! What we thought
were two oboes were clearly an oboe and a
flute. And that barbershop quartet...well,
they're really a quintet

The proof is in the listening. And that's
where Marantz design concepts come into
play The transducers in Marantz speaker sys-

tems are engineered to handle an abundance
of continuous power, so you get distortion-free

олот мээм» Со ine э subsidiary of Superscope Inc Р © Box 99F. Sun Valley Cal! 01382 In Europe Supersccpe Europe. S.A. Беу

tho Yellow Pages for your nearest Marantz dealer Send Tar ree сара

sounds that are as pleasing as a nibble on the ear.

We bought the Marantz Imperial 5G Two Way Speaker
for just $99. Perfect for our budget and it delivers fine sound
separation even with minimum power equipment. And there

are five other quality Marantz speaker models
starting as low as $59 and all are available
with the new Marantz acoustically trans-
parent foam grill.

Whatever your power and budget
requirements, keep this in mind. Marantz
speaker systems are built by the people who
make the most respected stereo and 4-chan-
nel equipment in the world

To find out how much better they sound
go to your nearest Marantz dealer and listen.

жалата аса шега ша Ш a.
We sound better.

"з. Belgium Avalable in Caraca. Prices and models aubject to change without notice. Consult

PLAYBOY

176

wried a money clip. He said he'd "o
me cash for his half and 1 could charge — kerose
the whole thing. Thi: Between courses, Doi
1 didit | did the boo-kiss
attendant. we didit giggle much. and Marc

The headwaiter came to take our or- Harry told us to hold oll till Luter.
ders. Doreen got hers up to S40 with no АШ in all. it was the happiest eve
trouble at all, simply by ordering caviar I've ever spent. И wasn't until we were
and the smoked salmon and then азрага ng our after-dinner соНсе that M

i ise sauce and then filet ted to torture ше

mignon flambé with side orders of onion intentions were good, but she said
ves, which Tast that she hoped Fd kept ihe phone num-
because they bers Га received along with my Master
sc my card was lost or
the assistant m
ndh. she knew how n

was right about the wines, which |
frertaste at all.

cen and ] abo

le bit. except. that
and

gus with hol

а вур
g but ai
it way my uu

were full of noil
Whe
thought. “Oh, кейе ik br
ad asked for the same as Dorcen's fell imo dd
Harry and Marcia weren't about to forged si
pinch any pennies. either. Harry re of things! So now there was a speci
vealed that he was a great wine lover hour phone number to call at n
and he picked for us а nice little white on. weekends. but a lot of cardholders
at 517.50 and a modest red. which he wi of this.

Be rof a

тө ordei
sv com

пу cards

asy

hands of dirty crooks wh
| charged all kin

The he went out wearing um ig shoes.

smoked salmon was а very li k and But oh. boy ted proud-
not salty. The beef way he Harry 1. “Do they go imo a once they get

"I understand, dear. Your impotence
is caused by your [ear of not satisfying me. But it
doesn’t bother me anymore.”

* Click, clack, bibbi

los repor

У goes

the telex! Whirrr, chink, dunk goes the
1 was half expecting The

compute
Trolley Song. “And in a matter o
sues literally minutes the. account. is
frozen all over the whole United States!
And woe beride any dirty little creep
who tries to use
"Think ol t
palins began to sweat. Му
thump so Joudly Г wondered why no one
xd и. Water wickled down mv chest.
ose bun pred. while chills a
му. АП 1 wanted.

ps er

fever set in simult
was out of there.
Пу. the waiter n

ind. handed.
the check to Harry. He studied ir. flinch
ing only slightly. and then handed it to
a mountain of 20s and
ng half of a thirty

the waiter, who
|. "Thank уо

Wilson." and left.
“Wilson?” Dorce

sked me. “Wilson?”

expla “my
1 was just a little tyke
ned
lopted me
and chan y Alte
he died, E went back to. Tim Murdock,
but Fm still [c Wilson.”
While 1 sat there drumming the table
and waiting for the waiter t0 come back,

arried а m;
who later
me to |

Harry told me how casy it was to go to
м and di

ne, but I
wasn't listenin ew that at
this ve

‹

nge your na
ише ГК
cashier was m

number to someone who was probably
shouting back, “Arrest that man! He's
not Wilson! He's a dirty crook! Thar
card was just reported fost, ten. minutes
The ассо тозеп
The wa lor w
to he

icd.
drum

er was ge
like seven hours. E beg
roll—the suspense
play in the circus
dives olf the 100-foot platform.
bucket of water. The drum roll kept
ng louder and louder and

ki
ist before the nut

l they

Doreen shouted in my car. L
t inches.

€ nervous," she said, “Wh
"oso d

ous about? Aren't у

T kissed hi The waiter walked up
md put down a silver tray with my
card amd а pen and the Master Ch
slips on it and J nearly collapsed with 1e-
liet. 1 picked up the pen and dropped it
into my colle

‚ and I wrote down
T could with my trem.
nds and totaled the bill and

bling 1

jut then the headwairer walked up,
beaming, and picked up the slips and
tore the half and said, “TI
won't be needing. Mr. Wilson, we've just
caleulsted tha are our ten thou
sandth patron! And so you must honor

с ме

you

our guests
th fell open
; Пу? Honest
derful! That’s— of you!”

“Ies our pleasure,” he said, motioning
who wheeled up a cart laden
ag liqueur bottles
sample some of our ligueurs:

He left and Doreen and Ma
Harry bubbled with joy as they «
liqueurs.
rry smiled
old bu

"Oh. sure.
sce the hug
then, God
for

у eves
s won.

t me. "Got some money

ch.” T was sorry 10
pocket. but
overtime
an't have

three different liqu
that maybe we were being
and so we got up and left.

There were two police officers wait
for me in the foyer—one by the registra-
tion desk and the other by the door.
They were in plain clothes, but 1 knew
who they were even before the first one
asked, "Mr. Wilson?"

"Yes?" I said.

He showed me his badge. “Serg

everly Hills pe
Dorecn

bhed my arm.
the trouble, Se asked
ney

new they'd get me, won-

Гог rhai” Doreen asked,
mions," 1 said. "About

ag tickets. D det them

t Seller frowned at me and
inced at Doreen and. like a de
n. kept his mouth shut.

"But how did they know vou were

here?" Doreen demanded.
E d. “They obviously spotted
my license plate in the parking lot." To

Harry. I said, “This may take some
Would you mind taking Doreen hom:
1 kissed her fondly. ht, sweetie. ГИ
call you when I cam.

With “Good lucks” and “Good nights"
the three lefi.

He
E

my torn charge slips to the sergeant.
“I'm very sorry about this" he said
10 ше.

OR. И маат

lly great мау

“Will you tell the cook for
was the best damn meal I ever had in my

He'll be pleased to hear it, sir."

On the way down to the i
tion, I did some heavy thinking
L Maybe Hed meant for me to re-
turn the credit. cards а
with Wi L. Wilson, who м
cenuic multimillionaire with a
ter who would fall for n

d get in good

е
at God could be a litte
ar He wants from me.

ad thinker, I per-

I do wish t

ога prol
ally believe that Е
nicae with the average person is the

s failure 10 come

то church

on so few. people

ys and so many end up in the

PLAYBOY

178

OLD DANE continued from poge 120)

су, a number of other animals repre-
wing four con all under the
‘no kill, no pay” system that virtually all
preserves employ. At other places around
the United States, you could hunt Ame

can bison, nilgai, Corsican ram and H
layan thr. And there are herds of cland
and огух being readied for consumption.

na-

Himalayan jai? Nilgai? Yes .. . well,
they come from game-park surplus, most-
Iy, these exotics, and are trucked around

the country on demand. Of which there

Among preserve people at this point
п the history of American hunting can
heady, evangelistic faith that
they are the future. And things do seem
to be funncling toward them. Game-sup-
porting public land. the lite of it that is
left, has a clutch of grim projections fac
ing it. including Paul Ehvlich’s that the
country will have to build a city of a
quarter of a million people every 10 days
for the next 30 years to accommodate all
of us. Many wild-game species are dwin-
dling toward disappearance. In addition
to these depletions of natural resources,
the swelling popularity of preserves in-
dicates that the nation’s hunters could
be running low themselves on the stam
ina, learned skills and patience that wild
hunting requires. It is stunning how

any things a man hunting phcasant,
say оп a preserve doesn't have to do.
He doesn't have to own or find the land,
ог get permission to hunt it. He doesn't.
have to buy or train a bird dog. At some
places, he doesn't even have to bring a
gun. He doesn't have to learn the cover
or anything about the habits of pheasant.
He doesn't ev үс to dean and pluck
his birds, for most preserves will swap
him wrapped and frozen ones for his.
“Emphasize to all who ask that the net
cost of bagging а big-game animal at a
club such as yours is certainly no greater
р to some
distant point оп public lands, and it is
far less painful. Further, who can assure
the hunter of the positive presence on
public lands of the game he is after?
advises P. C. Chr

one imagines, as
they listen to this cheerfully logical re
sponse to any possible quibbling over
value. The animals, the birds are here,
seems to be the position, painlessly and
immediately available to anyone who can
pull a trigger, some of them animals you
used to have to travel weeks and spend
thousands to get 10.

But there is more to it than that, more to
the widespread and increasing attraction

“Forgive me, for I have ginned."

of preserve hunting than just the abso-
lute certainty of the presence of game
and the case with which it can be killed,
И that were all it took to satisfy hunters,
there would be more enterprises like the
one Roger Caras, the naturalist, tells
about—a kind of reductio ad absurdum
of preserve conditions. Caras learned
about a farmer in Maine who gathered
up black-bear cubs in the spring and
raised them. When they were large
cnough, he placed them in individu,
cages where sportsmen came, money in
hand, to shoot them through the bars.
The successful preserves know some-
thing much deeper about the American
hunter than that farmer did. And they
have found intricate v sto it.

ys of getu

[Killing] is, as 1 discovered yester-
day. a question of art. When it is
difficult to kill the thing. whe:
1 achievement come int
that the killing is worth while.

И. WHITE

АП hunters are the same people.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY

The preserve is a 1500асге tract about
nine miles from the house. Strictly out in
the counuy. The ri g into it is
completely hidden from the blacktop by
bank to make it as inaccessible as possi
ble to poachers, with whom Wild Hill is
constantly at war, Bill Richter takes us in
in two groups by snowmobile and there
are signs all along both sides of the road,
saying, DEPUTY SHERIFF PATROLLED, WARN-
ING: WILD BOAR
of theater: pay
EATEN. ВШ, it
she

А mile or so into the woods, the road
ds at a chinked-log lodge, where hum-

ers stay during the spring, summer and
fall. Located dramatically beside a small
«€ full of rainbow, brook and Kamloops

rout (they couldn't resist an exotic here,
cither), the lodge could be a stage set: It
the archetype of a!l hunting lodges.

А pair of moose antlers hangs above
the door. Оп a wooden fence, a few im-
pressive jaws of boar bleach in the sun,
Inside, huge beams muscle across the ceil-
g and stone fireplaces yawn at cither
end of i m. The
seems "done," by some dece
ializcs in hunting camps. Old leather
ewn coflee tables, Frank-
lin stove, copper pots, stulfed ducks, shell
belts, а bear-trap ashtray, iron cots, соо
skins, moose calls, a skunkskin hat, deer-
піст gon holders, boar tusks, mounted
rook trout and walleye, а whole stulled
bobcat on a limb and, hanging on the
eplaces, the
baleful heads of goat, decr, caribou, fox
and boar, On a wall by the door is a pho-
tograph of Bill and Fred Bear, the bow

interior

ог who

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

Kings. 17 mg. "tar," 1.2 mg. nicotine;
100. 21 mg "tar." 1.5 mg. nicotine
av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report Mar, 74.

* 1974 оч

PLAYBOY

180 lookin

hunter, crouched beside a dead caribou
some high, windy-looking country.

Jim Whitehouse and his boys look
around and handle things silently in the
reverent semidark, like baseball fans in
Coop by God . . . now, this
is what you call a hunting lodge.

We don't start walking until almost
ten—boar, says Bill, don't start to move
until it warms up—and by then the tei
ture is in the 205. И is a windless,
; perfect as an egg. The
sun is warm and snow is lalling from the
evergreens when we start, cach f;
ing a brilliant dust that hangs
sky. Because of a recent thaw and freeze,
the snow is aust under four or five
inches of new powder and we walk with-
out snowshoes, north along а wail behind
Bill, with low white-spruce country on
the left falling beyond the trout lake to a
stream bed and high ridges on the right
Merlin couldn't conjure a better day or
place for hunting exotics.

Within a quarter of a mile. Bill turns

off the trail and we follow him cast up
one of the hillsides to an open hogback
and along it im the sun, se deer
tacks, He walks slowly, looking back
often at Whitehouse and stopping to
scout whenever Jim seems tired.
Jou can smell them this time of year,"
he says at one pause, mysteriously, Юг
no one is sure exactly what it is he can
smell. "It's a musky smell you can pick
up a hundred yards away."

Whitehouse and the boys look around,

oses lifted. Then, when Jim has his
breath, we go on. cont
slight southern. curv
through old Merino-sheep meadows now
overgrown with pine. Bill points out
some old si 1 na
rowcr Шап а whitctail's, and the twin,
intimate tracks of a. pair of fisher cats.

Around 11 he finds k,
which. perfectly sersibly, looks like а
pig's. “Boar track,” he says, kneeling to it
and running the k of his hand across
it to tell its freshness. And then White-
house and the rest of us learn wl
are doing, We are looking for a
one of the arbitrary paths that boar de-
cide to follow through the woods. This is
not one. This is simpl
tack in the snow, Jooking very much
a pigs. Bill ponders for
squinting. The deer, he reckons, are now
in the hemlock.

We head upward again, geting near
the ranges of the Catalina goat and mouf-
lon sheep, two other exotics Wild Hill
maintains, which are yarded on the high-
est meadows and not hunted in the winter,
On this Vermont hi turc
with scales and horns growing out of its
chest could app nd every one of us
would just watch it, nodding, and wait
for Bill to tell us what it was.

He stops at the edge of a comice over-
bowl of thick birch, evergreen

cloudless day,

-decr tracks, longe

boar tr

single boar's
ike
moment, eyes

lc now, а cre,

аг а

and beech, and beyond it the valley
where the lodge is. In a moment, White-
house pants up and sits in the snow,
breathing raggedly. Bill looks at him. “I
think we've gone far enough,” he says.
"Well just sit here and watch this litle
bowl for a minute. Sce if we can pick one
out" He crouches like Deerslayer, t
just off the snow, right forearm lying
across his left knee, his duck-shooting cap.
pushed back, squinting from the lip of
the cornice into the mat of trees below.
There is no movement down there, yet
the suspense is palpable. A raven caws
over his left shoulder. Snow falls from a
hemlock in a bright shower. The instant
seems choreographed.

“What, uh, do they look like?" asks
Jimmy Whitehou
“They'd look black from up here,

brindle. Some arc black
and a few are a sort of silver color

Whitehouse edges up ro the cornice be-
side Bill and sits with his rifle across his
lap. peering into the trees for something
black.

Sus scrofa, the animal they are looking
for, has been hunted for one reason or
another since the Stone Age. On the wall
of a cave in Altamira, Spain, is an encr-
getic portrait of a boar done 15.000 years
before Chris. And testifying 10 some
strange intimacy primitive man must
have felt with the beast, a mature male

discovered in the Nean-

skeleton has be
1 ground on Mount Carmel,

Most are really

derthal bur
dutchiug the jawbone of one to bi
chest, The European variety was intro-
y Mountains in 1912
and he fe in those hills, where
he is known affectionately as “Roosian”
and has distinguished himself by killing
and maiming more hunting dogs than
y other game animal
Physically and temperamenta
ly wild boar is, without doubt, а fierce
piece of work. A big male is deep through
the chest and n: in the hams, i
maybe three fect high, five feet long
weighs around 350 pounds. He
with amazingly quick thrusts of his head,
using two curved lower tusks that can
be as long as seven inches and sharp
cnough to pare a fingernail. The Greeks,
who hunted him with great verve and
feared him above the waxed at
agth about the boar's ferocity. And in
Europe during the Middle Ages, along
with brown bear and something called an
aurochs, he was classified as "black game,”
the hunting of which was known
heroic and reserved for royalty. One of
these four animals, at var
places, ngled out for i
blackness to be hunted by
alone—to pl
to the king's Force of Good. This graced
animal, this game of kings, was always
Sus scrofa,

Alter about five minutes of watching

duced into our Smo

now

ow i

lion,

ous

deepest
the kin

га sort of

the timber, Bill looks at his watch. and
suggests we start back down. Web will
have lunch waiting. We go down much
quicker than we went up and come out
on the trail to the lodge a couple of
hundred yards from where we started up
the hillside, completing a pleasant two-
hour circle. We walk back to the lodge
along a line of the seven-foot, mesh-wire
fence with electric bottom wire that coi
the preserve: in single file, at lei-
sure, like hikers on Mount Katahdin.
Back at the truck, Jim Whitehouse is
worried. As Bill hides the snowmobile
the woods, he wonders just w
is here. ЛИ morning without cv
а boar or а deer? It occurs to him that
тіс birthday has only a few hours to

the story

go. He can't help but wonder just how

nd he is de-
T's sake not to walk
is like the one this

set up this deal is after all.
termined for his hea
up any more mounta
morning.

Web will assure him at lunch that they
will sce some boa стпооп; that

off. But just then, м
empty truck

by the gam
meatless and for

п із а

Australopithecus after а [ruitless drive of
mammoth.

That citizen was likely the first cre
ture ever to use weapons to КШ other
animals. And though he lived some
2,000.000 years ago, certainly owned по
moosehide knickers and used a fisted
rock instead of a 51500 rifle, there is coi
nective tissue between Australopithecus
and Jim Whitehouse, Between him and
Тоб us who hunt.

lis necessity to survival cut away be-
fore history began, the sport has гер

edly been judged, both by those who
hunt and by those who don't, against this
very good reason for not doing it: It
hurts and kills to be hunted, and no ae
ture should have the right to impose
sullering and death on another cicature
lor pleasure. In recent history, partic
larly in America, the judgments have
been more frequent and more severe,
leading 10 what is now one of the coun-
туз truest polarizations, between those
5.000.000 to 20,000,000 who hunt, Killing
animals and birds they don't have to kill,
and those who believe with a vengeance
that they shouldn't, To the latter group.
тапу of whom don't know a rifle from a
shotgun. a hunter seems as dated and use-
less and ugly a thing as a souvenir Luger.
He is suspected of political savage

sciously confusing hi
And he is almost aut
10 be

pe
cally assumed
nent of hunters who
ing despoilers.
That sort of thinking can make a man
sel-conscious. In defense, hunters have
tended either to simply yell back at the
pinko fag aceps or to пу to rationalize

“Look—I appreciate your talking to те, and 1 know
you mean well, but you're boring.

PLAYBOY

182

something t

has,

by muuering about the

spend on conservation or h

crops... or how ai
nyw

just feels good and that

at best, а tenuous rational basis,
millions they

found in
the work of the formal hunting apologists,
thoughtful men who hunted and wrote
rd, the second duke of
Ortega у Gasset, Ruark,
cy are the true hunt
ists, preoccupied with doing the
thing the way it ought to be done and
lizing and romanticizing variously as
they go. The composite picture they
paint, in books such as Ortega's Medita-
lions оп Hunting, of what the Good
Hunter is, or ought to be, looks some-
thing like this: He

y grin and unlimited endurance and
skill, who knows calmly that we are all.
па men, born to die, and that
s the game
he hunts not to be too plentiful or casy
to find and he demands of it a full set of
working instincts
ainst. He considers himself just another
predator in the scheme of things, like
а Бареа or a lynx, taking no more than
he can eat and renunciating the part of

his superiority that could allow him to
poison a шош stream or shoot his ani-
ls from tanks. He is а natural, alert
man, in a comíortable bond of wood
smoke and dogs and aching muscles with
others like himself, knowing and loving
what he hunts pturing as he does
it the innocence of his unconscious
past... something like that.

the beleaguered modern. hunt
himself into and be proud of. That's the
way he wants to look. No one, after all,
wants to be a shooter of bears in cages.
But between the idea and the reality falls
this bitching little shadow. More often
п not, the modern hunter is, in fact
man who works eight hours а day in-
doors, a little skinny on endurance and
skill, with little time and less wind. He
would like to trail that caged bear like
a Cree Ind nd dispatch it with a bow
and arrow, but he can't. To paint himself
o that portrait—to justify his hunt-
ing to himself—he often needs someone
10 give him the numbers.

And, as it happens, there are people
around who can do that. Not quite,
of course. They can't really n him
into something he isn't. But by taking

“Of course, Mrs. Morrissey, there's no law that
says you have to use this room as a bedroom."

out a few of the hard parts, they can make
him feel like that something lor а few
hours ог days. Magic is the word. And
there аге people around who can get it
for you wholesale

Vhe pre
reason.

est enemy of hunting is
“ORTEGA Y GASET

‘Two she be.
shit.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

One shot, meat.
Three shots, he

«n

Jim Whitehouse would like to do only
this kind of hunting, he is saying. This
way you get away from all the slobs in
the woods These preserve people ca
cull out all the bad animals. The thing
controlled. And you know уоште go
to get game.

But he doesn’t look all that sure.

We are back in the woods at 2:

5 after

lunch, following Bill down the lit-

Ue path from the lodge again. There is a

able digestive droop to things.
me, instead of turning uphill
we go through the preserve
fence into the thick spruce woods. The
walking is harder in here than on the
hillside—there is more loose snow and
every fourth or fifth step breaks то
the crust. Bill stops at the edge of a little
stream that runs from the south end of
the пош pond and w
Eric 10 cach their b
er and thinner boy, has had no trouble
keeping up and he scems a little bored at
this point. He puts his eye to the Н
sold Weular scope on his rile and
sweeps it arc across the woods i
front of us. It is not a boy's gun. It is ai
8x57 Mauscr with set triggers. When
the rear trigge
опе so that the slightest. pr
the rifle.

“We want to look for trails
Bill says. "If we find а trail, we'll find
them in here.” He tells us that he killed
1 boar just down the stream a couple of
days ago and that he knows there are fal-
low deer around, feeding on the balsams,
He is visibly different from this mom-
ing—his expression a little less polite and
vague. He looks to be fixed on what he
doing now а, uh, you'll want to be
liule quiet from now on,” he adds.

k south, crossing and recrossing
the stream on a lacework of snow bridges
d stumbling often in the drifts. About
а half mile down the stream, Bill stops
again in a small clearing. Fifty feet from
where he is squatting is a bloody wallow
in the snow. He takes a deep breath and
looks around. We seem to have

Very businesslike now, he
across to the сам side of the stream and
down a blood-spotted path, past two or
three bright piles of frozen. animal in-
nards, About 500 yards into the trees, the
path opens into a kind of amphitheater,
where he tells the boy to stand beside
three big pines. "You see where the

If your rich uncle left all his money to his horse,
better join the Club.

Г: Hitch up with this new western shirt. The Butch Cassidy
CAREERCLUPB' SHIRTS ibu eutse xo the yoke nd
cuffs with contrasting stitching and buttons.
50% Kodel”, 50% cotton. About $16.00.
Career Club Shirt Co., Inc. 183
350 Fifth Avenue, New York 10001 © 1974.

PLAYBOY

“T have discovered a heavenly bod:
right across

g crosses the brook there?’ He
points to where the path crosses a snow
bridge, leads up to а gentle rise, then levels
oll aud disappears into the spruce. Е
nods. "Well, you keep an eye out, Som
times they come through there" Eric
nods again. "Good hunting," says Bill
and he touches him on the back. Eric
nods and watches him melt into the trees.
Whitehouse aud Jin put on
stand where they are and told to watch
south alon; ik. "Em going
to run around in the pucker brush and
see what I can. kick out. You guys don't
move unless I yell." Bill tells them. Then
he disappears and there is а palpable
ing down of the moment over

у are

the stream h:

d darkening fast in
sy woods, After we can по longer
‚ there is no sound but the oc-
casional pop of a freezing limb. With
nothing to look at but the encirding
spruces. with the coming on of night and

the silence and the knowledge that there
we, well... boar, black game, out
there—ir's а little spook

In ien minutes, Bill is back. He
Wh nd myself 1

ile hill where boar

tub. lows.

the snow and posi-
tions Jimmy just downhill from us to the
left. Then he leaves again after whisper
ing this new information: “Ni
shoot опе of а pair or a group. fr
Just freeze, because if the rest sec. you,

after

the street!”

befor
inutes we crouch ii
at the wallows and
s of the trees, watching the clo
down of dark. We are surrounded.
here by Jimmy and Eric and Bill—all
within easy shoot v in these
blind woods: a disquieting realization—
and abo by a heavy, tangible presenti
ment ef animals: animals. present. and
iving and dead, rising out of gut
ps. Exotic animals. With sight failing
like the light, a sense of countless unsee
prevences develops—a sense of the woods
as crowded with humers and hunted, of
perceptions straining toward one anoth-
ег through the tissue of air: aurochs be
hind uces, curs cocked; listening uilgai
and bison and oryx: Australopithecus
crouching somewhere а halted
Duke Edward drawing a bow
tree blind. Mystery develops. The woods
seem bansheed. Whitehouse and 1 listen
for other things listenin;
Then there is a shot, splitting the
quiet like an ax. "Eric" whispers Jim. In
1 few minutes, there is another shot з
then а third, Jim talks сх
gota цип sho. i
he w п, he got him. That
x on top of the world.

the snow,

ино the

stone:

па

You
know, this is the way you keep kids close

to you—out of the house. away from the
cocktail parties" A fourth shot inter-
тир him. “That's four shots," he says
looking puzzled.

The deer came out of the woods on the

nd stopped about 75 feet away. Jt
a little six-point fallow that would
s out to about 60 pounds. Eric raised
ifle and pulled off the firs shot,
missing it cleanly. ‘The deer moved a few
feet forward and gazed at him. The sec
ond shot caught it in the gut just behind
The deer stood still.
lt, slowly, so tha
just visible over a little ridge of snow.
"ric shot a third time and the deer didn't
move. He looked at the animal. his mouth
open and uembling and all the color
gone from his face. “I think it’s dead
but doesn't know it vet." he said finally

Then Bill Richter appeared in the
spruces and velled for

This is the part I don’t like.” Eric
said. As he crossed the stream. the deer
stood up. blatting, and walked about 15

feet into a dear patch of snow, Then it
knelt again
Eric joined Bill by the deer. He cra-

dled the rifle in his arms. “Whar should

Г do now?" he asked, watching the deer

The deer was trying to hide itself by dig-

ging with its forehooves in the snow.
Shoot it.” said Bill.

The deer stood up slowly and looked
at Eric and Bill. It turned a slow 180 de-
grees and begin walking directly away
from them toward the woods.

"Now would be a good time,” Bill
commented.

Eric raised the rifle and pulled. the.
igger, but the chamber was empty
“Better щиту up, Eric," said Bill soft-

ly. "You don't want him to get into the
woods."
ith the deer about 15 feet away, Eric
ded and shot, putting the bullet up
the deer's rectum and killing it.
Good hunting." said Bill. He shook

ісу hand. “How do

you feel, fell
"so my

me."
Jim Whitehowe is happy. Не
his son has bagged a fallow on his birth-
day. He just hopes it was а good head
а clean Kill. As it is five o'clock by
me Eric's shooting stops. he doct
we will see any boar this after

But they have tomorrow for the b
d and shiver i
for Bill
It is nearly
g that sonnds
ing from boughs
being cleared. М
and Whitehouse
materializes into

ооп,
We
the tightening cold

Ю when I hear some-
first like snow fall-
nd then like brush
des, then grows
on his Enees when
ir of boar, one be
hind the other, ng through saplings
downhill along a kine in the trees, п
ing chufhng pig noises, looking blunt
nd Маск against the snow.

are maybe 50 way and
Whitehouse shoow—

t us whe
"chances his throw.
it, aud chances
place
already dead

stares. For

ish have
The lead boar
ind leg kicking,
The second one stands and
more than two minutes, the

CAPITOL MAGNETIC PRODOCTS А романом oF CAMION RECORDS. INC. LOŠ А

PLAYBOY

hind leg kicks, the second boar stands
without moving—gricving or confused ог
looking for us—and Whitehouse whis-
pers, "Freeze," litanylike, through his
teeth, Then the standing boar whirls like
а black cape and is gone over the hill.

At that moment, Bill yells to us from a
few feet away, spectrally present again at
the moment of truth. “Good shot," he
says. "Now you want to go up carefull

We go up carefully and abreast c
where the boar lies, snout in the snow
and a qu e bullet hole between its

eyes. Dead, in the almost full dark, it
looks now like only a large black p
Whitehouse yells for Jimmy. Then he

lifts his boar's head by an ear. There are
no tusks. “It’s a sow," he says. “The other
one must have been the boar.
It's a sow. But it’s a пісе sow," says
. He looks diversely harried, as a stage
manager. Kneeling, he runs а forefinger
experimentally in and out of the hole in
the animal's skull, bringing out pieces of
bone and brai Ш broken up.
he says. “But it won't hurt the mount.
Jimmy comes up now, his rille slung
on his shoulder, and bends over the boar
to gut it with his boy-scout
all watching him work.
ке is smoking and Jimmy is sit
the snow when the second boar
rss out of the woods again. He is with.
in ten yards, coming down and slanting
across the hill. In a blur Jimmy is up, his
gloved right hand fumbling on the rifle
lor the sec wigger. The rille fires once
while it is still at his hip and the bullet
kicks up snow ten feet from Richter
"Take off that goddamn glo
ather shouts at him.
Jimmy heaves the rifle to his shoulder
nd runs with it like that at the boar, still
gloved and firing as he goes, Bill, White.
house and I scattering behind him.
uke off the glove,” his father yells
aga
On his third or fourth shot, Jimmy hits
the animal. It rolls behind a dead tree
id is running again when it comes
upright and then is gone into the trees,
“I got him. I got him, didu't 17" Jimmy
s, turning to Dill.
Well, you Ait him, all right. But it’s
too dark to look for him now. We'll let
him stillen up and come back tomorrow
with the dogs.
Whitehouse comes over and puts his
d on the boy's shoulder. "You just
got а little excited is all. A little buck

his

ow and a wind is rising.
ting Jim's boar, puts a
торе around its snout and hoists i up
into a tree.

By the 1
Jimmy h
ing themselves, letti
spread through them like a drink. The
birthday deer, опе boar in a tree and one
in the bush, stiffening up—not bad for

186 two hours’ hunting. Bullet right between

the eyes. Eric's mother is going to be
pleased as punch. And after this mom-
ing, all of it coming at once like that.
“Old Eric really carned his bones today,
didn’t he?” Whitehouse says.

“Sure did, Thar's a wonderful boar.”

“Well, it's а sow, but it's got good size.
The оне you shot must have been the
boar.”

"Let's take it easy going out. Fm a lit
Че bushed,” Jim says to Bill as we start
picking our way back through these
black, occupied woods, leaving the boar
dangling like a totem from а spruce.

You've got just that little touch. more
stamina than I do. ..

“ү says Bill. But right now, it’s
ard to tell. Right now, Bill Richter
looks exactly like what he is—a man who
has put in a hard day on the job.

It took. Ri
cur and a silent tra
baying until he sees his animal, about
five minutes to find the wounded boar's
scent. He found it just on the far side of
the trout pond and within ten minutes,
he and the other dog had found the boar.
From where we stood near the stream, we
could hear the deep oval barking uphill
and to the west and working toward us.
Iv’s a sound the Good Hunter loves; a
sound Ortega у Gasset с
ing what polyphony is to music, raising
the sport to its most complex and pertece
fon

But nobody here seemed to be paving
any attention to it. The object of it, after
all. was a wounded goddamn wild bom,
who, stiffened up or not, could tear
somebody asshole from elbow. As the
baying got closer, coming downhill di
recily at us, no one could quite figure ош
what to do with himself. I mean, do you
hunker down, or climb а wee, or what?
у аге bringing the thing right

. - - There were no instruc
tions [rom Bill and he had slipped off
somewhere in the woods a Bui
Jimmy knew what he was supposed to
do: He was supposed to kill the boar,
nd he moved manfully in front of the
rest of us, gloveles this time, to do that.
Jt was considerably casier to feel brave
once the ppesred. root

ng dolefully and without conviction at
the two dogs, who were managing to
1 snap at the same time. In the light of
day, driven by two small dogs, the boar
looked hopeless and tractable as a sheep.

J ed until he had a dear shot
па shot the boar in the head. lt fell
dead without movement and ihe dogs
commenced to grow] and pull at it. In its
neck, there was а ragged hole big enough
to put your fist into where Jimmy had
wounded it the night before.

In a book about huming, Hemingway
writes about “the elation. the best ela
tion of all” of killing off a wounded and
dangerous anim ybe that’s what Jim-
my Whitchouse fe d to чей.

hot-nosed mountai

ler who doesn't be:

my w

The boar was another sow, weighing
round 200 pounds and with a pair of
tusks that barely reached its upper lip.
We got a long look at this one while Bill
was dressing it, scooping handfuls of red,
bluc-gray and purple interior into anoth

mong the spruces, It is à hard
animal to sentimentalize, but there is
beauty in ihe deep chest and n
hindquarters aud. di
the stiff brindle ha
bristling ruff down its neck. Curious
about what they find to car, these wild
boar, when there is three feet of snow on
the ground, I took the stomach from
Bills pile and opened it with а knile
What they cat, apparently, is Who
knows where they find it

Jimmy and 1 dragged hi
the woods and sat on it in the snowmo
bile road, waiting for the others to bring
out the опе in the tree. The torn pink
tissue around the boar's head wound,
like a small shell crater under one саг.
was still jerking. From where we sat, we
could see the lodge up the road, looki
like а hunting lodge out of D
with its ch logs and. moose а
Even the woods around it looked s

boar out of

the Hunter who lives in the Lodg
man with an easy grin.

It was 11 o'dock. After they got the

other boar out, Bill would take us and
the two animals by snowmobile back to
the truck and then back 1 the house,
where he would hang the boars and the
fallow deer from the roof of a shed for
pictures. And Whitehouse, pleased as
punch with everything, would arrange
lor the butchering of his animals and for
the making of their heads into mounis,
Then he would take his sous and the
liver of Eric's deer in а Baggie and go
home.
The night before, after a lot of strong
ale talk about women and boar and the
European hare and roe deer Jim had
hunted in Germany: after grace was
and Jim made a birthday toast 10 Eric,
congratulating him on his deer and call.
the killing of it the happiest event of
ic's Jile next to lx and having
m for a father, we had told
me that whether dogs found the
wounded boar or the next day, he
was happy. He knew they would get a
second. boar. And he didn't mind at all
the 5900 he was spending. His kids were
having a real ex He would be
back, maybe next time to wy for those
whatsis goats up in the high country,

"The thing is..." he e ih
is, you always get what you pay for at

place like this.

: a big

“He just shouts ‘Open sesame!’ and I'm powerless.”

187

PLAYBOY

188

ack of. You had to run in
ways.

they
did. it would throw the whole goddamn
r out ol the park.” Foyt said. “Blooey!
t was so rough that a lot of people
got fractured elbows and broken arms.
just from nying to hang on to that
wheel. D got two busted elbows. Man,
1. it looked like ev-
erybody had been in а hatchet fight
“And ol Tommy would rum in so
hard that he'd get the car up on its right
wheels so far you could sce the whole un-
dercamiage. He could have sold bill-
board space on the bottom of the ca
Аһ, hell, aid. “Those were the
days.

when

кс was

“I still tell anybody to go to hell if T
feel like it.” Foyt says. "I mean. some
people think that old crash at Riverside
slowed me down. but look at my record.
1 won Indy again after that and Le Mans
and the Daytona 500 and a hell of a lot
of other races, Is that slowing down?”

The Riverside crash, however, makes
him stop and think. It

years since it happened, and it was the
only time he was ever t
(this does not count routine breaks,
bruises, burns and lumps. including be-
ing run over by one's own race car).
м Riverside, Foyt was running im a
NASCAR stockcar race on the road

course and had been one of the front

SIN
1. \ (continued [rom page 92)

runners most of the afternooi

About two thirds of the way through
the race. the twisting course had taken
its toll on the 4000-pound stocker: The
brakes were completely gone and a quick
pit stop determined that they couldn't
be repaired. At this point. а lot of racers
would have parked it behind the pit
wall and gone for a Coors. Foyt roared
out of the pits and ducked in behind
Junior Johnson, one of NASCAR's best
and a man A. J knew he could trust
One does not follow just anybody closely
when one has no brakes. A. |. knew that
Junior was not apt to make a mistake.

It worked for about ten laps and. true,
Junior did not make a mistake. But the

in front of Johnson did and Junior
hir his lu ing no idea
Ком d ny to hit. They

were just entering the sweeping turn
nine at about 140 mph. А. J. had a f
tion of a second to weigh the situation.
He could hit Junior full-bore in the rear
or tum right. He turned right and the
car leaped over the embankment. The
nose dug in and the force catapulted
the car 50 feet into the air: mmed
down on its top with a sickening crash.
Foyt was unconscious when they got to
m. Ir wasn't until they got him to the
al d discerning, doctor discov.
back.
` they pro
in that race

h
hos
ered that
Foyt will never race ag
nounced; the sort of тей
drivers could set to music.
It took Foyt roughly two weeks to

“Biggest goddamn Jairy I ever saw!”

convince the doctors that he would be just.
as well ofl at home in bed. From there
it took him another week to convince
his wile, Lucy, that he would be better
off in the Arizona sun, watching an Indy
ce from а nice, easy wheelchair.

Two weeks ker, he was watching
He

гасе from а easy e саг.
winced a lot as he got in and out of the
car and everybody knew that he as-
suredly hurt like hell during the races,
but he was back racing.

Now they say he's mellowing.

1 doit feel that I have to prove my-
self. H1 decide 1 want to win, I go out

d win. H I don't, I just don't cire,” he

But can one believe that the best race
driver around doesn't cure about win-
ning? He drives as hard today as he eve
has. And he isn’t shy about declaring
intention to pass another car. Е mea
he waves you aver, you ought really to
give him room.

And he knows the quick route around
every track in the counny. “I know the
uacks pretty good now," he says. “But I
can never tell exactly how I'm going to
drive a track until the time comes. When
d. 1 just follow the groove, 1L 1
1 behind. 1 just work my way back up
front the best way Г know how. My
hands get tired in a 500-miler from hang:
ng on to the wheel. Sometimes on the
suaights 1 open my hands and push
down on ihe wheel with my palms to
rest my fingers. If things are ge
well. I might drive wit
it’s no Hollywood effect.
get tired."

Foyt has been. known
though. A few years ago at Daytona, he
had his Ford running so far out in front
of the pack that he could have coasted
the remaining five or six laps. He had
led the race for so long that the covey of
Ford executives in the paddock arca had
servations for the victory
ight. His pit crew was
lounging on stacks of tires exam
their fingernails. That's when Foyt c
out of the fourth turn, backed off the
celerator and ducked into the pits foi
an unscheduled stop. The Ford execs
froze. The piccrew members fell all over
themselves getting to the pit wall. They
m Foyt poked his head
through the window

“You all want me for anything?" he
asked. Then he flashed the white smile,
dumped it back into gear and roared out
of the pits. still comfortably
He won. of course.

to ham it up.

tthe Associated Press
Gated Press can kiss his ass

He ding by his pit, looking out.
at the world through the slitted. eyes—

ready to talk only to those he really cares

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. МДД ЖИЛИГИ
av. per cigarette, FIC Report, Mar. 74. Menthol or Regular

PLAYBOY

190

to talk to. A driver comes into view.
This is Paul Newman. Mr. Blue Е
the face that American millions adore;
there are folks all over Dayton:
and women alike, who would give their
right front fenders to stand alongside
pit wall and chat with Paul Newman.
True, Newman has credentials: he
а race driver himself, though undistin-
guished, in а sport that regularly attracts

men

movie stars. Steve McQueen races: James
Garner is а bull: so is опе Smothers
brother—and who really gives а damn
which one it is?

They chat until Foyt figures he has had
enough. He turns to the growing circle
of fans. “Lisen, you guys, Г gott he
says. And then he turns to Newman:

“So long. Steve." he says.

“ТО BE SILENT” IS AN ACTIVE VERB
(continued from page 150)

then they are ill-mannered, drunken,

demanding of joyless luxuries.

What to do without my duffel? 1 look
out at the winter scene, sky and snow
glowing. Moscow glowin
crated winter light. like an
immobile in the scope of universe. Soon
the morning snow sweepers
those widows with legs wrapped in rags.
Moscow looks frozen inside and out. and
1 shiver as I lean across the radiator to
the frosted glass in accesses of swooping
doubt as all the Soviet people I've seen

ide across my bia
nd wounded and stubborn
ve. Americans are not а happy
Of course not. Russians neither:
brothers of a sort
My Russian is beginning to come back
ad, ах language always does, the Rus
sian language more than most, it tells
about history, hope, dread, soul, Nine
years ago. a woman at the Writers Union
stood silently weeping because no one
answered when I explained why I
couldn't be, in their terms, a “progres-
sive.” (Because if Г were a Soviet writer,
Г would be dead.) She approached me
later with а philological comment: “You
know, in Russian, the verb ‘to be silent
is an active verb." And then I came
upon these words in the stage direction
at the end of Pushkin’s play about ty
anny, Boris Godunov—but what great
Russian work is not about the convul
sions of ty nolstfuyil
anslition would read
s de dren
strangled. all finished): “The people are
silent.” But it really says: “The people
perlorm the action of silence.” And that
вит it, either. “The people enter a
world of silence.” Narod byezmolst{uyit.
“People withoucwordsthere stand.”

Jt can't be translated, But that’s what
they are still doing. except for the brave
and tragic few who dety and suffer.

The word for dissident means those
who think differently. Andrei Sakharov,
the great Soviet physicist, has said there
are many moral people whe are secretly
joined together, without knowing onc
another, without even any physical. con-

ct, with links now eflectively severed
by the secret police; but nevertheless
they are joined. simply because they are
moral people. The most famous of them
is Solihenitsyn. Не has been through all
the tyrannies—the cancer tyranny, the
concentration-camp tyranny, the police
censorship tyranny, even the conventional

oui ng- ad husband
own-weary-olwile ty —and now

its selfgen
stral body,

look

gowiiterwa me

he has come out in some spectacular
balince and health within a prolonged

threat of martyrdom, He refused to leave
his Russian soil for comfortable exile
umil they picked him up and threw him
out. He gripped his birthright with

PLAYBOY

№5

New Conceptrol Shields.
A prophylactic created to make you feel
like you're not wearing anything.

The whole idea behind Conceptrol
Shields is to allow two people sensi-
tivity when using a prophylactic

To do this, we had to make a change:

we changed the basic shape of the
prophylactic so it would fit you better.
Sensitivity: The change wasn't drastic,
but from the shape you know to a
slightly contoured shape at the head.
We feel this slight change will make

to preventing pregnancy."

Conceptrol Shields conform easier о
you, end give you a fit you're not get-
ting from an ordinary prophylactic.
Strength: Conceptrol Shields are made
from very thin latex. The thinnest we
can possibly use and still maintain our
quality control standards.

Comfort: They have a reservoir tip—a
receptacle at the tip of the prophylactic.
It allows you greater comfort.

Lubrication: They have a special dry
lubricant which makes them neater
than prophylactics with wet lubricants.
They're also available non-lubricated.

Conceptrol Shields. Comfortable,
strong end allow sensitivity.

We believe they're going to change
your attitude about using prophylactics.

Available nowat your local pharmacy.

Conceptrol Shields

World's largast laboratories

devoted to family planning research

through your local pharmacist educational materiel on the value of proptylactics in the prevention of venereal disease

You can tell a lot about an individual by what he pours into his glass.

ANN

Муу

S
NS

created for the Bushmills Collection by Henry Halem

of Bate! in cand The Jos Garneau Co, New York, NY. ONA

TASTE THE DIFFERENCE А GREAT TRADITION MAKES.

For centuries, the world's master tobacconists have created special blends for their most favored customers ..
4 elegant, luxurious, supremely rich in taste.
x ‘Today, this dedication to excellence can be found in St. Moritz... .the world's first
A luxury length Gold Band” filter. St. Moritz is specially blended to American tastes, both
À EAT "Ҹ with and without menthol. The luxury length and distinctive Gold Band” set St. Moritz
*' apartfrom the ordinary. They taste as rich as they look, yet the price is the same as that
By Apron to His Royal Highness of ordinary cigarettes. St. Moritz. None genuine "without the Gold Band?

Prince of The Netherlands
тет Tobacco Company В.У.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined

: That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health
Regular and menthol: 18 mg."tar' 1.2 mg. nicotine ave. per cigarette by FIC method.

his strength, alternately patient. with
explanation, scornful, howling with rage
in letters to the Swedish Royal Academy,
which negotiated with Sovict authorities
about a diminished Nobel Prize ceremony
in Moscow, to the Writers Union that ex
pelled him, to publishers who would no
longer print him, to colleagues who
turned prudent backs, to foreign jour
пајыз, even to Kosygin, Brezhnev and
the Presidium, to anyone in the path ol
his memory of pain and his prayer for
the future—and especially to the note
books in which he inscribed the history
of shame. And now, after imprisonment
abuse, cancer, threats and exile, he has
achieved а kind of health. Amazing
grace! OL course he is obsessed and often
wrong, like all prophets. But he has
found his path in the way of the great
19th Century Russian novelists. who be-

lieved in God, in benevolent authority,
in sin and redemption and the destiny of
the great, sluggard, ominous Russian
people. Like Dostoievsky's, his passion
turns out to have more worth than mere
rightness.
Pyotr Grigor

hero being "tr

nko, the general and war
cated” in an insane asy-
lum for supporti

ment,
soldi,

g the democratic move

may have sown more of a
rs stalwart courage. Sakharov, who
linked the free-speech movement with
the right of Jews to emigrate to Israel,
may show a broader world sympathy and
culture. Others have suffered buterly,
unknown, hustled into cumps or prisons
or psy

ic infernos or into а still, sti-
fled silence like the predawn streets of
Moscow at which I stare now from my
window. But Solzhenitsyn, because he
knows how to howl, makes his pain real
to the rest of us in our comfortable, anx-
ious, unquict chewheres He may not
even be the best man among a brave
company, but he speaks for them all
"Therefore, he also speaks for us.

If my clothes don't show up, hell
speak for a scarecrow. But somehow 1
imagine my duffel is safe in some office
at Shiryemyétyiva А nber One.

At eight лм, D wake to watch the
snow siii drifting down over the onion
domes of St Basil’s and Red Square.
In this children’s paperweight vision, fig-
ures are marching to work with karakul
or thick fur hats, black greatcoats; they
would be more picturesque

somchow
without their plastic briefcases. At the
Intourist office downstairs, 1 mobilize
the ladies who must find my luggage. 1
insist. Гат definite. 1 will accept no fa-
talistic shrug; I prefer my own clothes. I
narrow my сусу and uuer pedantic un
grammar in my best Cornell accent. An
energetic soul gets on the phone to the
irport, spelling out my name for the
luggage handler at the other end:
“Gospodin Gold! Gold! Galina! Olga!
Ludmilla! Dmitri! GOLD!”

She promises to pursue the subject as

To help stop Athlete's Foot
more families buy Desenex
than any other remedy.

That's because anti-tungal
Desenex contains a medically- |
proven formula that has success-
fully helped millions of sufferers.
And the number gets bigger
every year.

To help heal Athlete's Foot,
use Desenex Ointment at night
and Desenex Powder, or Aerosol,
during the day.

When used routinely, Desenex оно cooing,
provides continuing protection
against fungous infection.

Also available in solution form.

*1974 Pharmacraft Consumer Products. PRODUCT OF Ш FENNWALT CORPORATION

LEAR JET
CAR STEREOS
IS BAD FOR
BUSINESS. =
(THEY'RE
THEFT-PROOF)

—

Model А-10 economy micro-mini
automotive 8-track stereo tape
player. With free th

It-proof mount z
) 00. This message 1
to you asa public service by Н

Lear Jet Stereo, Inc., 6868
son, Ari

South
na 85706.

> rip

191

PLAYBOY

192

1 head for my limousine and guide. In
the clothes 1 wore in San Francisco, ГП
see Moscow with a sturdy Intourist ex-
plainer in fur hat, plastic boots. rimless
glasses, capacious purse. My luxe tour
gives me a black Volga. smelling new, a
blank Intourist Larein
smel he is ready to

chaulleur, an
ng of her furs
swer every question
you will see Tines in shops. do nor be sui
prised, It can he attributed. you know, to
the gr ng power of the Soviet
people. .

“There you see concert hall, Tcha
kovsky concert hall, seating capacity one
thousand five hundred. That gray build-
ing is called Satire Theater. The name
speaks for itself. The building to the
ight is movie hall
‘Are those Chinese?” | asked, point-
ing to a little line of Jap:

“Very few Chinese here now. Only em-
ху. Our apartment houses
good. hor water, heat is from central
heat plant, coming from steam. central
Г will now briel you on our medical
system...”

эп know, when

ese tourists.

are very

sosh, you're so good lo me

We trudge along а sightscer’s wa
The car waits. motor chugging. chauf-
feur dozing. Snow. slush, spit, fur cap
There are 7.000.000 people im Moscow,
50,000,000 in Soviet Union You know,
fifth largest city in

Moscow В now

world,” re

No one
u've n
place.

a this weather.

nt to get some-

got 10 w:

But all E want is to r
jet lag. receive my baggage, proceed with

from

over

my secret desire. which is to know more
than: “Birch (ree, you know, is symbol
of youth, something slim, slender. Here
is Moscow University, named for Lomo-
nosov. great scientist. Now I will give
you briefing on Soviet education system.
Alter finish school, no problem to find
job, v know. There are
y for everybody. Women |

always place

fist choice, also collective farmer" I
knew that Jewish kids were having
trouble entering humanities and ans

programs. but Lareina was saying
body force to go to school or wor
zen decide. Lomonosov found univ
in 1755. very ways dom

Senator, 1 wish I

was old enough to vole.”

Church. Lomonosov always good at art.
mosaics. specialist in Russian language
astronomy, in 1781 he discovered fest
that Venus had atmosphere. Somehow he
found it out" The key was spinni

of control in her back: a spring had
snapped. She applied emergency slow
down equipment to her tonsils. "Now
university bears his name, Lomonosov, in
city of Moscow.
Yo, T couldn't just walk throu
halls of the university to look at students
hers and classes, "For that you
1 pass. Ask. It is matter of de-
tails E do not f ze myself.

The Stalinoid towers, black wi
weather. made me think of Brig]
Young University, probably minus foot
ball, The university hulked over the sky
line. isolated by guards, like an imperial
barracks.

1 wondered if my bag was finished get-
ting through the K.G.B. inspection serv-
ice while this G a with the tape
loop ratified her Life with a sweet librari
an's conviction. If her lips were less thi
if her glasses didn't have that rimless dull
glitter, she might have gotten the jump
on the West. Instead. yawning away, 1
hummed softly the bad word of the
hour: “Solzhenitsyn.” My excuse was that
we had passed an anti-Solzhenitsyn. post-
cr in a window on Gorky Street: some-
thing about а toad, а squat. а spew. the
usual runningdog view of a dissenter
reina explaines
1 tell you story. To explain question
is very good Alexander Solzhe-
nitsyn, Bad Child is title of story. So. Т
have child he was treat too severe. Pun-
ished, you know. The camps in the Cult
of Personality time. That is all finish
now. We regret. But now we apolo
those who arc dead receive pensio
he never forgives. He keeps оп wri
ic old way script

out

h the

mili

rushen

pswer

He суса sends

abroad. So naturally he is sick. we send
Tike sick child far away."
Amazed. 1 asked. “Are you a mother
You send a sick child into exile?”
“Others” she stated, "we пеш very
d, maybe worse thim Solzhenitsya—

ater all we cure his cancer—they say
thank you for apologize. He never Ior-
give. He repeat. repeat, repeat

I was scratching han bought
for foreign currency the Byeryóz
ka shop to which Lareina had led me
The subject of Solzhe ished
and the key whirled on.

Lenin Library, twenty-five millio
volumes in one hundred seventy 1
guages.”

It was snowir
Downfell the sw
tabolism, Cal

itsyn was

in every language.
Isnow upon one me
i rm ing. |

1. PLAYBOY BEER
GOBLETS, 17 oz., set of 12,
AB 0630, $12 plus $2
shipping and handling.

2. BAR TOOL SET,
4-piece, AB 0610, $10 plus
$1 shipping and handling.

3. ALUMINUM
TANKARDS, 150z., set
of 12, AB 0598, $24 plus
$2 shipping and handling.

4. ALUMINUM SUPER
TANKARDS, 38 oz., set
of 12, AB 0600, $60 plus
$2 shipping and handling.

5. WHITE FROSTED
MUGS, 140z., set of 12,
AB 0318, $30 plus $2
shipping and handling.

6. CLUB MUGS, 140z.,
set of 12, AB 0316, $30
plus $2 shipping and
handling.

7. COCKTAILS-FOR-
TWO SET, includes two
glasses, pitcher and
Stirring rod, AB 0302, $6
plus $1 shipping and
handling.

8. LIQUOR CADDY,
holds one bottle,

AB 3000, $10 plus $1
shipping and handling.

Quantity Mem Code No. Description Cost Shipping/Handling Total

No C.O.D. orders, please. Illinois residents—
Cash keyholders, please enclose check, расе add 5% tax
О Payment enclosed. (Make checks
payable to Playboy Products.) ПОТА
О Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no. TAMDA

Name

(please print)

PLAYBOY

194

Communist Party or viet
nd Fd like some news be-

but offici
newspapers
sides the strikes in France—
"We camnot buy foreign papers be-
cause we save our hard currency—very
easonable,” she remarked, with her pe-
culiar habit of judging her own com-
nt and finding it good. The plump
noon turned up to sec how I was taking
Also perhaps to avoid the influx of
ile foreign propa
And now a few words about our Krem-
means fortress. 1 hope vou
: two dynasties from the
n Lam ask who is our
lly answer: We have a
€ your Water-
ian, is the
m of the Su-

Podgorny,
the Pres
- The prime minister would
a Mr. Bredinew is the
general scaretary of the Communi:
our unique party. There are twenty tow-
ers in the Kremlin walls, five of them

her You look
ter person, yes? Vi e Jew
person from our Ukraine, too. you know,”

You don't need to be a weather vane,
1 thought, to see where the wind is
blowing.

“Tomorrow you will sce Palace of
st Cooper t

ny room at the Rassiya

gulped down several glasses
Palace of Central Moscow
Water Кесу Plant. Аз “'3-In-One™
Oil protects bicycle gews. this product
protects the toi
played in memory my
imental р
reina is Russian
me of all n:
France—but is especially honest Russian
name, too."

At the Intoui
good news: Bi
ceed to airport to identify:

“Why don't they just send it here?”
ou will proceed to airport to
identify.”

At he

shou:

х Spanish, Portugal,

st desk I received my
will pro-

шше К.С.
gathered about my ski bag. *
these books?” My mouth w:
1 had done wrong. Teacher said. I
shouldn't lave brought books to my So-
viet

Pushkin. A cop wa g from the
jacket of an English edition of Fathers,
which describes the story as that of “a
Jewish t from the Uk
Good old Lareina. "Very
1 ще cop. And with t
like a flock of pigeons attended by con-
feni. they Ilew off and released me. But
where was my ski bag when my ski bag
was lost? (Footnote: Never again in the
Soviet Union would I be attended by
less than а crew of dicks. In. the worst
wh-hour «ток, with lines gesticulzting
for taxis, 1 would never do more than

terest

diagnosis,

raise my fu cab would appea
My tail be 1 of life, like steam
heat. Sometimes 1 could even hear the

n а nearby

thick
ound

ed paroxysms. A drunk E ре ШЕШШУ
toward me and pulled off by his
friends. Г noticed that one sleeve was in
his pocket, The war is not finished vet.
He thought Т w: ng because of his
missing. arm: staring because he
as a crazy drunk. A till hood asked if I
wanted to change money and glowed in
the dark with invisible neon: orric
кан. BLACK MARKETEER, A pasty blonde
ly wanted to go to my room and
throbbed with invisible їз: OFFICIAL.
кв. мною

To bed alone, My phone rang in the
middle of the night and 1 lurched like
the drunk toward it. No one.

Again an hour later.
Т took. the phone off the hook. Now
out. 1

theyll not know if Pm in or
bedded down comfortably. v
cver-babbling Miss

By the end of the fist week I had
made certain delicate psychological с
Drations to the fact of being followed.
watched and по doubt taped. At first

ranoia wi

dificult compan-
d 1 suffered a fading of confi-
blur of doubt, an iteh of plaint
those occasional stabs at futile
fast, leap in and
Then I tried rea
Little could happen to mi
than a quick hustle to the airport
the people I talked to didn’t mind
always warned them. why
then I tuned back to the ridiculousness
of it all and my eves learned that old
Moscow roll toward the сей
Fred! Emi really loyal!” one for
dent used to address his bug—and it was
reduced to а mere fact of li

Nevertheless, the |
Other stations were fussily turned to
mine. Everyone jokes: but everyone is
also sapped by that interfering buzz.

In the bar of the hotel, a man in
orange jacket and brown teeth. tall, with
a friend in brown jacket and orange teeth,
g for me. As | walked
у sleeve and pulled
yousced-lown-Lwish-

You wish change

and
evasion (walking
out of cabs or trolleys)

other

ness remained.

1. "Oh! How:
practice-my-English.
myeh
Хо,

“Two for onc,”
"Very good г:
1 was followed everywhere. Since ille-
1 money didn't stimulate n
mething As I strolled

said his little friend,

maybe

else could wi

оп a quiet street, a new yellow Soviet-
built Fiat pulled up, three girls and one
driver, who hunched over his wheel to

visible, а successful ma-
The n front hissed, beck
nnounced, “Hallo! How are you?

e to change monych?

о really

I peeked inside, enjoying the packed
perfume of this cargo of dumpl
were hustling me from a yellow
erted street near Red Sq
cow, U.S.S.R. “Irs illegal." I said

One of the bac backups pointed
to Devushka One. You like to go
10 restaurant with this girl private?”

Devushka One flapped an angry hand
ас her colleague. "Padazhdyityi, padazh-
dyityi Сай, w ) She looked еер
по my eyes. She exhaled а deep, frosty
bubble of haze the winter
aned forward to whisper.
kwhere you fro
. K.G.B. Directory of

liance.

As soon as I refused, the driver,
ging the wheel, pulled away with screec
g tires. Г was alone for a few moments,
nite walls of this granite

hug-

plugged with monuments. and
museums, plack in the night. The
ie seemed to have been laid and ereet-

ed with а Pharaoh's efforts. It w:
cold. it was dark, there were the

М
rough it like

bartender ran out of

Black &White. Arf.

PLAYBOY

196

towers of neighborhood godless muse-
ums nearby. The coldness of Moscow's
beauty testifies to a certain cost. 1
walked, thinking of the blocks of apart-
ments farther out, where people like my
fricnd—call him Yuri—worry about their

hearts, tr photographs of their
friends, make a life in their dreadful
privacy.

The vellow Fiat was gliding alongside

Hallo!"
ош sure?"

The next night, a trio of happy boule
vardiers stopped me on Gorky Street,

called а tinkly voice.

a familiar spot on my
You like it here?’
“Terrific city’—my crispest English

waste-no-time style.

“Alas! No free emigration, you think?

1 shrugged.

"So now we go talk a little, practice
Fnglish, drink a litile"—and they boxed
me in and were moving me along.
Чо-о-очо,” I said, drawling my vowels
ng my bowels. It was less out of
clegance than out of what could proudly
be described as Stark Terror. "Fm just
ng along now down to my hotel
Oh, y
tion, is forbidden

I broke free. They would have to slug
me and drag me. Somehow, at this Iate
hour, they expected me to be drunker.
They tried а new tack. A keen young fel-
low with a sharp nose and bright bluc
eves, a little drop of moisture at the end
of his nose and a glop of yellow in the
corner of cach eye, declared: "You ar
artist. So I sell icon cheap. for few dollar.

“I believe it might be forbidden,” 1
said.

Oh, dear." He sighed the same deli-
cious flirtatious smile as the girl in the
t "Lovely icon for few dollar,"
he murmured, and the droplet on ihe
end of his nose fell to the swept stone, А
irio of volunteer police in their red arm
bands, looking for drunks, marched by.
The Three Iconeers followed them.

yellow

ion with a
1 prove Is

Valodya reports a conversa
K.G.B. interrogator. “What
racl is bad

“Then let me go to fight badness in my
own counti ij

"This is your motherland.”

“I can't fight anything any longer
here except to go. I want to go home, al-
though Гуе never been there.”

1 have made contact with various out-
casts— Jews, nationalists, religious people.

“Five minutes, Master Strudler."

those who believe in the common free-
doms. ] also take the police with me
on my Intourist guided tours. Before а
ng of a baptism: is group of
ering. They catch cold.” Before а
wedding dance: “We Russian have same
sense of humor as you American, not the
From the historical point of
ing, also from the ar
And here is Rublev, top man
ting

1 twist around to look at a line of
а. frost-blowing women at a food
You may have noticed
our consumers waiting in queue. This is
not because of shortage. This is because
our people are so rich they are pressing.
pressing. pressing to buy goods.”
carrying forbidden thoughts—to para
phrase a master—wonderlully concen-
trates the mind. My friends among the
dissenters arc so desperate they no
longer fret about being followed. My
tails and their tails stand like the shiver-
ing baptized outside the door. 1 have
lunch at the Restaurant of Si the
new Intou Hotel. 1 turn down an.

shop.

other K.G.B. offer to exchange money:
"How are you I practice my English give

you three rubles for one dollar?
The place should be called The Res-
wal Light Bulbs in

"Pop art," explained my friend Sasha,
“represents the excess of things—soup
cans, Jell-O boxes. Sock art represents
the excess of ideology—slogans. poste

sha explained that they do these si-
pictures of slogans and poster
yles, not really satirical, they don't
mean to be funny, they mean to be true.
No. without seeing. 1 couldn't really un-
derstand. Yes, the artists were desperate
for a window to the West and would be
pleased to ha ‚ even with my po-
lice tail. Sasha and 1 took a cab ава
another car followed us

Sock art, socialist op ан, is the cre-
ation of two young men, Alexander
Melamid, м ried,
pregna
watchful
e
their painters’ union fo
radation and they are not Soviet painters
anymore. They are forbidden under-
ground painters, Nonetheless, they are
| painters. The two meu work in a
"ment. in what looks like а So-
sopgle-eyed

wile
аг, divorced,
They used t0 be Soviet paint-

Now they have been expelled from

ecological deg-

bel
plainer. Of course, better just to look,
but sometimes words help. The sturdier

nd his glasses, was the p

Komar, a bit of the soccer player
style, carried and propped paintings in
corners for me to examine.

“I'm sorry 10 bother you,” 1 say
“No bother. We like.”
(continued on page 200)

ТО ТНЕ

PLAYBOY CLUB'S
HOLIDAY GIFT KEY
WITH SPECIAL

TREAT YOUR

FRIENDS,
TREAT

YOURSELF

All these holiday gifts plus a whole year of
wall-to-wall luxury for only $25.
Keyholders enjoy delightful dining, giant
cocktails and exciting entertainment at
every Playboy Club. There are two
all-seasons resorts exclusively for
keyholders and their guests—
Playboy's Club-Hotel at Great

Gorge, McAfee, New Jersey, and

our Lake Geneva, Wisconsin,
Club-Hotel. With a Playboy Club

a credit Key, you're also assured
credit privileges at the Playboy

Towers in Chicago and at our
Jamaica resort. And at the end
of th ‘st year as a keyholder,
there will be an opportunity to
renew the Key for just $10.
There's no other giftlike a
Playboy Club Key. And while
you're treating all your
lucky friends, why

not treat yourself?

МР magazine. A year of the
Club's news-packed quarterly.
And inside VIP—cerlificates*
redeemable for 12 issues of
PLAYBOY or
ОШ magazine.

And a cerlificate* redeemable
E д i for your choice of the Playmate

<) 4 i Key, to open the world of Playboy

— ee Н 2 to that very special friend, OR

E— the Playboy Bar Tool Set,
custom-made to add Playboy
$10 Bunny Money* == s
to spend al the Club. а

Status to home entertaining.

TO: PLAYBOY CLUBS INTERNATIONAL, 919 N.
1 would ike to order ine Playboy Club Holiday Gift Key with’ special bonuses. |
understand that with the Playboy Club Key, I or the person 1 gifi will receive 510
in Bunny Money", a year сї МР with certilicates” redeemable for PLAYBOY or
OUI magazine (choose either one every month for 12 consecutive months) and a ог [] 1 wish to present the gilt personally. Send gift card to mo.
certificate”, redeemable for the Playboy Bar Tool Set or the Playmate cash Key, апо [Г] | want the gilt for тузы!
The cost of the Playboy Club Holiday Key with specia! bonuses is S25. At the end
of the first year there will be ап opportunity to renew the Playboy Club Key fora = —___
second year for only $10 My name (please punt)
D Enclosed is a check for $. for Playboy Club Holiday

Gift Keys for my Irends and/or myself хайп
or Г} Bill те on my keyholder statement ТГ
ог Г] Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no |

Send the Playboy Club Holiday Gift Key to

ago. Ill. 60611 ^ [] Send the gilt card to the recipient signed:

Tiy Sale — Zip

И Tame == Tease pmm Use Separate sheet of paper to order additional gift packages. ABAJA

jiii SPa "Bunny Money and certificates redeemable in any North American Playboy Clu
= {in Massachusetts, it's Playboy of Boston} or Ciub-Hotel excep, for legai rea
Address Sons, certificates and Bunny Money по! redeemable in California and Michigan
Bunny Money not redeemable lor drinks in Ohio and New Jersey. Magazine

[pao ЕН

198

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI

people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement

THE MIGHTY FINN

Even if you're going first-class by air, you're
still riding a flying bus. But there are morc
civilized ways to travel. Like the Ambrose P.
Finn, Sr., a railroad car for sale at $119,000
(write to The Guilbault Company, Ltd., 505 N.
Lake Shore Drive, Chicago). И sleeps ten,
hasa kitchen, lounge and observation deck
is 200,000 pounds of solid steel decorated in
dark wood. And when the
а landing, nobody makes it

SAY GOOD NIGHT, IGOR
isten to them, the children of the night, what music they make."
Yes, children of the night, if you know what that line is from
and have a taste for plasma, The Count Dracula Society welcomes
you with open teeth. Founded in 1969, the society (384 W. 54th
Street, Los Angeles) is 2 nonprofit organization dedicated to
serious interest in the weird and the Gothic. For a $10
contribution, you get to attend not only lectures, discussions and
films but the annual banquet at which awards are given
for the best horror movies, literature and television programs of
the year. Note: It's strictly a bring-your-own-coffin affair.

THE FRENCH DISCONNECTION
Here itis, the latest in Watergate chic—
а Continental-style telephone called The French
Disconnection that Communication Control
Corporation at 441 Lexington Avenue in Man-
hattan is selling for $2700. Inside the gold-
tone-plated exterior is a remarkable miniaturized
device called the Wiretap Trap that, with а
mere turn ofa knob, “automatically renders any
illegal wire tap, present or future, totally

inoperable.” For $2700, let's hope so.

STICK IT IN YOUR NOSE
Dr. Johnson called snuff brain food and its use
uted to the curing of noli me tangere, dropsy, К
poisoning from arrows, night sweats, consumptio
pox. Aside from all t
you tap the box thre
inhale and—whammo! You've just dynamited your sinuse
nt to sample such dynamite snuffs as Bezoar Fine Grind,
Camelopard No. 5, High Dry Toast, Jasmin and Wren's Relish
among a total of 18 especially blended varieties, send $7 to
Dean Swift Ltd., Box 2009, San Francisco 94126. Snuff sa

s been attrib-

^s evil, the

and the French
the ritual of snitling is kind of keen—
nes, gingerly lift a pinch to your nose,
And

AN EYE IN YOUR PUNCH
Most people wear their eyeballs on thcir
faces. Now you can wear an eyeball on
your finger. How? By sending your ring
size, сус color and $38 to the Kali Jewell
Company (1848 Thunderbird Street, Troy,
ег of some of the weirdest
sterling-silver talisman jewelry in
Christendom. You can also get, for $36,

а black-widowspider ring—and, for

$25, a roach clip with а black widow
embedded in plastic. Or is it a spider

dip with а roach in plastic?

GREAT SHA
Charlton Heston, Lorne Greene and
a cast of thousands—in what? The Ten
Bonanzas? No, in Earthquake. Based on a
story by Mario (The Godjather) Puzo,
Earthquake, which is soon to be released,
dramatizes the neat lite things that might
happen the next time the San Andreas
faults. Furthermore, the picture will employ
a new electronic system that will simulate
the full audio impact of the cataclysm. Fun!

GOLD DIGGERS OF 1974
Today, you don't have to look like Gabby Hayes or hang around with a
mule to be a bona fide prospector. All you have to do is join The Pros-
pectors' Club of Southern California (3216 Sterling Road, Bakersfield).
For a $7.50 membership fee, you get to attend the annual Prospectors' &
Treasure Hunters’ Convention to be held this October fifth and sixth in
California City. Events indude the Finders’ Keepers’ Treasure Hunt and
ing the lost city of Atlantis.

Gold P

ng Contest. Extra points for loca

PORN PUZZLES/DIRTY DOTS
Remember all those tedious youthful
hours you whiled away working follow-
the-dots puzzles in tattered kiddie maga-
zines? Or, in later life, the times you
mpass direction” as “E.S.
yell, now, better sharpen your pencil,
as there's sex life in those old chestnuts;
to wit: Dirty Crossword Puzzles and
Aduli Connect the Dots, the latter
subtitled “You Too Can Be a Pornog-
rapher.” Each retails for $2 from
American Publishing, 125 Walnut Street,
Watertown, Massachusetts. (OK, what's a
three letter word for “Bodily orifice sur-
rounded by crumply skin"? Answer: ear.)

RUM'S THE WORD
So you think you know about rum: It's the stuff you put in a daiquiri
or soak the baba in. Friends, whatever you know about rum, it's as
nothing compared with the savvy amassed during a lifetime of guzzling,
cooking, restaurant management and gencral knocking about by one
Victor J. Bergeron, beuer known to the world as Trader Vic. Vic tells
all, from cocktails through desserts, in his recipe-laced book Trader
Ріс Rum Cookery and Drinkery, to be published by Doubleday
soon at $6.95. We'd say the price alone is a reason to yo-ho-ho.

199

PLAYBOY

"ТО BE SILENT” IS AN ACTIVE VERB

g in the style of heroic so-
m, the style of Lenin on the
enin on the steps. memori.
izes the father of Melamid. A timid man
is embedded in Pharaonic stone. Ah. real
people here, but they are sw
idea. T begin to understand. A
given a fancy frame and signed—as W.
hol might sign a photograph of a motor-
cycle and sell it as his. PARTY AND PEOPLE
лик охе А. Melamid. соммихзм WILL
wiUMPH— V. Komur. The familiar ob-
ject is personalized and brought back
where it belongs. to the voice of а man,
so that it can be judged by men. Con-
versely, intimate subjects. girls. parents,
flowers, the things allowed by com-
missus as long as they are taken 10
be landscape, the gran-
diose the double-
es ше
smile, since I have lived only a few d:
among this gigantesque tumor of ideolo-
gy. Methodically, patiently, ferociously,
they respond to its affront to the spirit.
They paint a cigarette box, even as
baud would paint
tes, but I see now the
glorification of the Sputnik program that
i t of Soviet tobacco

A p
cialist т
ountain, 1

nner,

expressing
think of double views. Yes. it m

nything.

rks very precisely: "The mass cul-
ture which surrounds yon is tomatosoup
cam. The mass cuiture which surrounds
их ds poster about maternity, is slogan
about party and people united, is por-
trait of Solrhei h Fangs. is
Daya for eye

Moshe

its shades drawn, the closed-down oppo-
site of an artist's loft in, say, New York
or San Francisco, is a succession of vi
sions of Soviet reality. “In our
we cannot get rid of posters,” Komar re
wks. "So when we paint girls, they
ve this cubist look. It is not always so
|.
“Thou
be we need shock treatment.
little bit sad,” says Melamid.
interesting diagnosis.
We all think a bit on this, and then
Melamid proceeds with what inter
him more than his fate at this moment—
to make sure I begin to understand the
vision he has come to as he works here in
the dark, with bare bulbs, with shades
drawn. with
t
асай of
driven into himself by the pressure of
mass. We want to show how men are
made alone and we paint together,
Komar and 1, to eliminate personal fact
d show only fact.” He notices that I
п uncomfortable about this small-

h they say we are сагу and
That is
"It is an

(continued from page 196)

We work nor
t. Art is a tool for us.’
s are good.
aked smile from. Me-

group effort

1
“Spasyiba.”

lamid. Kom chaste
acknowledgment.
“Painting is your form of, uh, the

word we use ш Ameri its almost а
diché now . . . dissidence?
“We've heard the word. Ne, we

not dissidents, we
make
active теги:

But we would all г

work than filter theories through several
e barriers. Komar sets up а con-
un painting, only the
«Не. They
time

langua

s a hammer
e taking the psychology of the
and expressing it i
use, indeed, it fills the
d not with inertia.
The shades are drawn. There are no
buyers, They show me dozens of р
gs. No, this is not inertia
For example, the Nose Series. The
nvented а one-eyed р:
mov. He is

and they have

ings, 64 of them, four
t a different season, but
at the same place, the same time of the
year, until his purging. ("Why was he
purged?” J ask. “Nobody knows.) Im-
pasto, blur, artschool selftaught model-
ing. Buchumov never moves. Farly on,
in 1917, there is a counuy church, The
church disappears. There has been a rev-
olution. А tree grows. The sky remai
the same, year after year. The life of Bu-
chumoy literally frames the events, and
1 begin to giggle with the h
tition of one silhoucttc—his nose. The
one-eyed painter, of course, sees his nose
as a fixed heroic structure. As the vision
tikes me, 1 begin to laugh, but the:
don't even smile, So many noses in the
crude, nearly identical frames of the 64
painstaking, talentless oils. Bergson de-
scribes humor as coming from the per-
ception of mechanical repetition where
there should be original, individual
adjustment to reality.

“It is not satire,” says Komar. “We are
just stating the fact. And he pays with
his life.”

"You will perhaps notice." says Me-
lamid, “that the nose gets a Tittle
as Buchumoy ages. Noses do so."

Its in the Russian tradition to be Г
cinated by noss. Gogol’s neses paraded

down the street like people. The series
stops suddenly. Melamid shows me a
typed book, а tribute to Buchumow He

must have died in
tact

ome purge. Out of
id. sadness for the execution of the
ginary painter, T don't ask how Bu-
mov sinned. The seriousness of their
effort makes Western art foolery seem
merely uivial.

I the known works of
lov, the serf genius
art in the 18th

inventoi Me-

They also ow
another painter, Zy
who invented abstract
Century. "Our. Russian
lamid “murmurs proudly about their
creation. “У now how Russians dis-
covered everything?” Melamid and Ko-
таг have alo written the biography
of Zvablov and collected the usui
demic tributes.

During the worst days of St
the painters who made th
repeated heroic expressions of
Speaking, Stalin ‘Thinking, Stalin Sym-
pathetic, Stalin. Steellike abo produced
ап avalanche of landscapes. by some
comfortable reflex. action. Komar and
have parodied these loboto-
mized Landscapes without the glorifica
tion nized abstraction. Under
the ight bulbs they have been very
busy and very productive, undistracted
by galler exhibits or
public dis

In another тоот they have con-
structed a space they сай Rai. which
paradise. It is filled with collage,
wire construction, breezes, painti
ages, paste-ups, and as they let me live in
ita lile, they turned on а tape of die
st instructional mutter of Soviet

broadcasting. It was an environment. of
not so

mixed хийс and hope and

eries—maps, nudes, colors, shapes.
flowers, perspectives, memories. When 1
had had enough, I signaled to be let ou
Their faces were bland. They hoped 1
enjoyed the trip.

To be expelled from their union for
lating the principles of socialist real-
m means that these two young men are
пом outlaw artists, This is а contradi

i s. If you're not a member of
the union, you're not an artist. They
write leners of protest to officiaklom:
olfiiallom does not stoop to
outlaws. Ollicialdom has more important
papers to shullle, They know that the
K.G.B. is gathering information about
them. Sock art must seem insane to cops.
What ppen? What happens when
only the cops аге free. The world will
not protect. unknow из. И they
are declared crazy, who can argue for
them? No wi As Mela
says mildly, "The average Soviet psychi
wist will certify us

The novelist Vladimir Maksimov and
the physicist Sakharov came to see their
work. ‘This will not protect them. Ne
men somer But what is the

i
k

swer

1 is necessary

They are not dissidents or revolu-
tionaries or heroes. They аге only artists

tensity. АП they have is d
stubbornness. They have some playful

КАТ: ажы; AW
SSS SS OW ка
ч а ть

эй CN REN Р

— À
к

PLAYBOY

202

visions and some poign: nd they
ck time and space. pa and
freedom to work through that stubborn
itch of creation. Who will keep them
from hi they try to provid
native to Letrak City, Moscow branch?

nva

I enter the warm clutter of an intellec-
tual Russian. apartment—books, records,
photographs. furniture of all periods,
many chairs, as if an audience is expect-
ed (and, indeed, the evening is a pertorm-
ance, the guests are an audience), dark
ters, the smell of
n a Frisbee uously

wood, sw

wool, gui

perched on a bookshelf n
р.

ead

scarves,

sternak, trays of che

butter,
app
Kuliurny was the traditional Russian
word that expressed this style and it
meant graceful. таси}. loving, inrellec-
tual; and perhaps it also had overtones

and collec. cog

nd more food hour.

g every

inst the world. Someone is sin
ne of whose couplets runs:

Those with empty eyes т leaden face
Tell me to pay their debts.

Nine years ago. 1 made a friend in the
Writers Union. He shrugged helplessly
over the "problem" of losif Brodsky,
poet, who had been sent to a
lor parasitism—he was not
poet. My friend was “evolved.” perhaps
more evolved than others, but after all,
socialism has bettered the lot of men. He
would keep his peac

Now my fiend 1
some things—Solzhenitsyn, the
Sinyaysky and Daniel. the use of m.
General Gi
а gritted his te
as the

s spoken out about

renko

hospitals

and others

such matters

Dubtek’s m with a human face"

at the end of the tragic Prague summer,
the bitter anti

rmed cr

"social

about

ionis campaign,

Mate and Municipal Life makes no

moral judgments. We merely say that a man with two wives
should carry twice as much insurance.”

with its archaic теми
prudence has only |
My friends from 19

. His partar
ally saved him.
flourishing after

the Khrushchev thaw, are now outcast,
unemployed,
bei

threatened. They were
harassed by success and the fi
gainst cynicism in the mi P
Now they look. unworried
than n ago. Per
only thinner, They a
are free now,"
down like
thrums, They sip tea, nibble bread, sing
the songs that make trouble and Taugh

fallen N

when E ask what their best hopes are. An
And

old fiend answers: “Hopeless!”
then he picks up his guitar and s
new song, full of bears. snow, dru
olution. “We're fighting for peace
gelling ready fos
done that m

My friend Yur
it is time for a
ceiling and makes that familiar circi
gesture of a tape whirling on its spool.

We blow pulls of frost
long dark block, plodding
ice. Yuri has a complicated matter to dis-

wars, we've always

s to me, "And now
He points to the

cuss. A few yems ago, an Ama
friend, a writer. offered him a gift of
money. He refused, a little insulted.

even, "I was working, my wife worked,
no problem. Now. Now would vou rell
him I am so happy for the success of his
Jast book? But 1 con no longer publish
my books. My wife uo longer has job. So
И he would still Кс... No."
"TII cell him.”
“The situation is difficult for us now.
Ви no.
“Tl make sure he understand:
It has to do with things he has said
and not said, petitions he has signed and
not signed, even with books he has read,
languages he knows. With the dillicult
times. And so if this American friend
would still like to make a щй... He was
wringing his hands. There were frozen
tears on his cheeks. Rage and pride take
strange, contorted shape on a sturdy
o! Please do n
Don't worry, ГИ expl
"Sometimes we're not. sure
have enough to cat!” he cried.
We walked back in silence.

grandfather's facc.

if we'll

arb has d.
lashed, sleepy. eyes and the
Тахе slouch that tends to initate раге
and make girls long to improve a fellow's
ch He is also a very intelligent
young man, a micobiologist by profe:
sia hair grow long; he
wears jeans with zippered pockets; he
looks like a Berkeley graduate student.
But instead of the pleasures of coffee-
houses and grant-getting, a trick of histo-
ry has put him imo a tortured maze at
the age of 26. He happened to be born in

the Soviet Union. He has requested а
himself and his non-
hc round of abuse, bi
He is an

ow his life.

ther іу an internationally re
nowned gencticist, Soviet war hero who
lost a leg at Stalingrad. Sasha himself
placed in a research institute. where.
the single Jew. he had good hopes of a
comfortable career. Instead, hc has been
out of work for iwo yems, arrested,
hounded by the police, beaten up by
mysterious anonymous strangers, because
he requested to be allowed what the
Universal Declaration of Human Rights,
which the Soviet Union voted to adopt,
preseribes—the right of free em
tion, without which men are serfs.

Why has he chosen this difficult fate?
He is a cheerful man, not a suicidal one
He makes trouble for family
not just himself. and he has interrupted
his research at the crucial age of rapid
achievement. and there is reason to fear
his sacrifice will be in vain, they will
hold him prisoner and toy with him—
why?

We hung our tog
the streets of M.
with

nd friends.

her; we wandered
noses bi

T met his
watchin
make their
m and pretty

nd long. braids,

cold, beards
many of them
troubles unroll before the

friends,

decisions. His wile, a sl
broad face

fixed lunch. She practiced her Hebrew
оп me and showed disappointment at my
vocabulary. I let their story unfold as we
pulled apart the chickens and ate mar-
velous black Russian bread. made from
American détente grain, which somehow
norphosed. during its sca trip from
glutinous Wonder Bread to chunky
strong chomy h

Sasha could

but instead he risks prison for
tain sojourn in a troubled little n
far away. He began to think of himself as
а Jew and to inform himself of what this
meant only after he decided to go to Is-
racl. Now he is reading the Bible, remak-
his history. His fair Slavic wife w
a Sta of David around her neck and
s her Hebrew-Russian dictionary
Yt fret too much about what

car

and doe:

happens то her in the street. Why?
The example of Istatel’s triumph and
suffering led him, no doubt about that,

hut his life in the Soviet state. despite his
family’s favored status, determined. his
As a brilliant graduate. he was cho-

1 by the head of a research department
to cuter his program. When his n.
put fo

mc was

d. the political overseers—
ed

call. commissars—
the chiel: “Why do this Jew?

“He's vary good. He's valuable.” The
professor hinted he would resign il his ve-
quest were not

what we used

nec

cmment. favors sci

res this Ru
for him. But as things developed—the
Six Day War. the an

resni

not for him—

chief said,

So he swept the stree
it rankled.

could have lived с
dled. де
away from my brothers.”

Не warned. his par

asked him not to.
longer have the

judgment and the К.С
sav. “Vou sec.

he a good researcher. but we know our

ence and somezimes a
nd up against а cop. it

he doesn't abuse the privilege.
“AIL right. You can have him. Take

esponsibility.

other people. for Sash
became

asked to do "volunteer. street-
labor" and refused, and his
Look. 1 stuck out my neck for
- They'll never give me a

on his day off. Bui

vastly 1
пей. cod-
looked

А few little problems. Bu
lortably. |
] had

tly milked,

d his spon-
boratory that he

ат the research Ja

med to ask for an exit visa. They
His father would no

chicf would be berated for poor

В. overseer would
ч} you. you may

we w;

med at
Negro!

ess.” His wife's brother ser
“Better you had manied

Now if 1 have to put down that 1 have

РН

„= Zareyton 100s >.
БЕННЕТ, eS,
NERIS. 1

King Size: 21 mg. таг", 14 т. nicotine
100 min: 21 mg "tar 15 mg. nicotine; av. per cigarette, FIC Report March 74.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

PLAYBOY

204

relatives in Israel, all is lost, promotions,
everything!"

He told his chief he was determined.
‘The man shrugged. sighed, turned away.

He went to OVIR, the visa office, and
applied.

OI course, he lost his job immediately.
His application was denied, and denied
gain, and denied again. No means to
live, No chance to keep up his skills. Не,
100, is threatened with the mental hospi-
tal, He carried old copies of Scientific
American with him wherever he went.
“OL сошзе. very interesting, but I am re-
search, | need lab. Of course, it is also
rather hard to concentrate.”

Two years of this. He works as a labor-
er to avoid the charge of parasitism, Не
is now a rcfusenik and a Moscow Jewish
activist, Many of those dear to him are
lunt by his action. His family, his spon-
sor, some teachers. "Well, th
their choice, they have to permit mine,”
he says, but clearly it saddens him to be
the source of pain ана trouble for others.

He is les nglish and Hebrew,
and wailing—especially the last. Patience
comes hard for a young research scientist.
Uhese are the years of creation.
wile was also a scientific researcher
also lost her job. She is better at
brew than her Jewish husband, One con-
solation in all this, she says. is that they
spend more ti together. They are
holding hands. 1 am holding the wings of
а chicken in two chicken-smelling hands,
They laugh at my negligible chicken-
skills.
ha talks freely about his troubles.
iliar part of

v have made

cing followed is now a f

his life. He writes open letters to the Pre-
sidium of the U.S.S.R. and арр

demonstrations in Red Square. He visits
other refuseniks and non. Jewish dissent-
ers, such harov, and those who

strive for internal reform. and even perse-
cuted Baptists and other religious people
and U ionalists. He says about
а young K.G.B. probationer who tried
clumsily to entice him into а money-

changing operation: "Poor kid. Не
stuck.
You don't hate those who mike

trouble for yo

Не. 100, is а Russian, He accepts. He
says: "Maybe ГИ go away to prison for a
year or two. Usually, alter that, they get
tired of the game and let us go.

“I prefer not to go to prison," remarks
his friend Vladimir. Kozlovsky. a scholar
of Sikh culture, a researcher into Eastern
ions, а compiler of slang dictionar-
s. who apparently also has secrets tha
equire refusal of a visa, His last job was
doing а running oral translation of The
Godfather for a private showing.

“How do you feel about those who are
still waiting, those who will never take

your risk

Sasha is two de ager than T,
but he looks at me with pity for my
American simple-mindedness. "How can
they throw away all their beliefs, all they
e suffered for?” he asks me. "How
can they tell themselves not only that
they will die but also that all tli
were a disaster? Don't you те
ds went to their deaths
shouting "Long live Stalin!’ as the firing
squads fir

"We try to relieve the monotony as much as possible."

We spend the day
walk about, He points out the cha
feured cars of important people w
curtains on their windows. The faceless
bureaucrats don't want their faces seen as
they glide through their domain.®

When I get a cab for the trip back to
my hotel, it also contains а girl. She of-
fers me а quick cuddle home. Although
it’s cold and lonely in here, I decline. She
stares straight ahead

Red Square, the Rasiya Hotel, а hot

h and pushups T hope the girl won't
get a demerit because her khow-areyou

ossiping, cating,

t morning. As I
n the wintry sun of Red Square.
the soldiers stand at attention in front of
Lenin's tomb and it sec
at the same guided tourists from Easter
republics, waiting 1o file past the waxen,

melted relic of the great untouchable
ten

leader, 1 June nearly
years ago. Someone has brought them v
ter coats aid fur hats. Healthy, spick-and-
span officers clatter by in their high boots.
One young captain holds his daughter—
the age of my youngest by a hand and
takes his salutes with the other. The child
toddles in the stiff, bundled gait that
seems almost natural now. I, too, am swad-
dled in layers of wool, leather and fur.

lam waiting to meet Lydia,
ex, at the Intourist Hotel. The city looks
clean despite sky«larkening belches from
the stacks of the electric plant nearby
No dogshit (no dogs. either), little litter
of paper and squads of old babushki
sweeping the square with long birch
brooms. But once you leave Red Square,
the somber, closed-down look of Moscow
makes you forget it’s really а nicely
scrubbed town—a layer of brown reserve,
al, no commer-
who
swept up by the citizen militia along
with the litter. Somehow the stark slo-
ed on white or black—coxwU-
тизм WILL TRIUMPH OF PARTY AND PEOPLE
uxtreD—are no more invigorating th
PEPSI TASTES GOOD or ГМ OK YOU'RE OK.
Komar and Melumid are still telling me
something, which is what artists are sup-
posed to do. They go on going on.

Lydia is not afra
Nothing more to lose
now. She belongs to a group that
has sworn to take the consequences of
its judgment of life
cares what happens to her. Des
she is a twinkly, specta-
ded. grizzly middle-aged lady with that

me.

here

ad hardly

®AL presstime, 1 received. word from
underground that my friend.
Alexander Goldfarb was in hiding, pur
sued by the K.G.B. His friends are
threatened with prison unless they be-
tray him. А brave young man is being
hounded to destruction.

sources

Was

Have you felt Black Velvet?

Do it soon. It's too good a feeling to miss.
Black Velvet" Canadian Whisky. The smooth Canadian.

WHAT таро AFTER YOUVE WASHED You ke

PLAYBOY

FIRST. RINSE OUT KOUR BATHTUB. CALL.

э LOTS OF TWEM
UP YOUR FRIENDS. тираш 3 BLOCKS OF ICE IN 177
THROW ASQTS, OF TOSE CUERYO IN. /a2 ars OF ORANGE
een ame а! Now You HAVE A CUERVO SUNRISE
Dol /T GETS RIO OF WASHDAY BLUES.
THE ONLY THING LEFT To Во
45 ADD THE белое
EITHER 8 QUARTS п
THE TUB OR @ DoLLoP
IN THE GLASS.
STIR ITE
ITS твев FUN
O THAN STIRRING-

JOHN

Е Socks,

еа

critic: moyement—reform, free speed
of information, no prison or
asylu sidents—she worked as
translator for Intourist, It amuses her to
shock her former colleagues by appearing
here. She says happily, "Good, the food
for lunch is better than it used to be. The
матен will be happier."

exchan

n Moscow,
г of Ји
п his blue-

On опе of my last days
Melor Sturu:
tia, invited me to v
walled sunny offices
The name Melor
Marx Engels Len
Melor's parents must be old-timers. The
last time 1 saw him. he was а correspond-

i песо, Now, minty
ed

French suit, he offered me the custor
Russian hospitality, tea, cookies. sweet
and savory eatables on a tray, served by a
lady he described as his “colleague.” She
whisked the food off the tray and then
the colleague whisked herself
how have you been?" he asked
I was talking fast about his suit,
healthy look, our mut
Vork. 1 feared emh
about what I was doing. whom seeing,
but his real concern seemed to be to ex-
press hurt because. of ап open letter to
Exil Shorris. published
й How сап poli
he
but why

questions

in The N
tics and personal life be confused?

asked. “I am a Soviet person
blame me for political hurt:

А moment of melandioly enveloped us
along with the sun. the smell of lemony
tea, he silence of incomprehension.
Shorris Ii about the gleeful So-
g оГ war upon the Arabs and
friendship. “He
would not have written so after the Six
Day War," said Sturua. "Because there
was what the Arabs call a victory this
time, naturally, he was emotionally up-
set. I was not so concerned.”

That night E went to the farewell party
for Vladimir Maksimov, the novelist, who
was being expelled 10 France. Hundreds
of people flowed through his apartme
all day long. to say goodbye. Those ob-
serving outside looked like the plain-
clothesmen T have seen at demonstration
y in thick black. сөл

changed the:

heads. The crackling of occasional hidde
kies might be confused with the
nt robots.

iksimov weaved

walkie-

In his tiny kitchen. М

slightly, pressed his pugnacious lips to-
gether and а disaster,
сатам

"Why not enjoy your exile:
former laborer, sell-educated
ened. Less famous than Solzhenitsyn, he
knows how trees wither when their roots
cut. 1 talked about Turgenev. Naho:
Кох, Bun all the Russian writers who

worked in exile, "Why not just enjoy
Par T asked, feeling foolish, like any.
onc who suddenly ds еН iu ше
consolation business.

ЗА disaster, a catastrophe, and do you
understand ше?” He stared at me wit
glaze of rage. How could he explain
thing? Comfortable in Cal
could I know about his earth, his history,
his hope to live in peace with his own
people? Only at home did life have any
теши

ght of the peculiarity of this n
tion, where those who desperately w
y are shipped into exile and others,
who feel they can survive only elsewhere,
re pinned in place like wriggling insects
the pleasure of people who seem to
have no pleasure and give no reasons,
Belligerently Maksimov shouted
ne: "I'm nor Turgenev, I
thought Т heard him say he was greater
than Solzhenitsyn. It was sad to be drunk,
hurt, expelled fom the only 1
and world he understood. “Maksimov
wants to be a Russian!” he howled. hi
was a long party for him
Then Г went for another midnight
supper—getting heavy on cheeses, sau-
sages, butter, bread—at the apartment ol
some friends from my last visit, when I
hac found them atractive Soviet people,
enthusiastic about forcign literat
very i . but making out OK in
Soviet reality. They would never rock the
boat. Well. the boat
rocked. They are expelled from the Writ-
ers Union, black-listed: and they are not
world-renowned. but they are decent. dis
tinguished, thoughtful, warmheartei
the late end of middle age and fixed in a
limbo of no work, no money, no travel;

tellect

has been

now

So much [or Mother Goose. Now the myth
about vaginal orgasms. .. 2?

they are frozen in а winter they cinnor
understand: fear, threats, isolation, and
g in a peculiar din

theless, their Russian gaicty
pokes its head out for che evening. A gui
tar, songs and exchange of jokes. eager
questions about writers whose hooks they
по longer receive in the пий. An old
man who looks like a Tolstoyan peasant
Idish head with a thin mane ol
nc, grizzled beard. gr
everyone, male or female,

wer kisses foi
makes а nonpeasint reply to my ques-
tions about. Maksimov. "Some manage to
leave for the West. Some Jews cin go to
Israel. The rest just disappear. They stay.
1 don't mean die, 1 mean silence. 1 me
drink or silence. Gone. That is not bra
drain. What Maksimov s
that is true. Tt is soul drain.”

“Whar can I de

He looked at me with hi:
ing. old man’s face, and took his pe
mts heavy май and pounded the floor
with it, and shouted with a certam Rus-

id, disaster,

rosy. ©

ман pride: “The Soviet Union will not
he solved. or solve itself. at the will of a
traveler!

And all these friends are fixed in a

frieze of joy and
nd inwardly, ar

themselves, їп judg-
ment of the presumptions of human
will, Time will tell who will fall and
who has been left behind. My rosy. cheer
ful old friend keeps his manuscripts in

metal box, He las a weak heart and
will die one of these days, And a great
nation is still waiting in history with all
i g the act of a noisy,

205

PLAYBOY

206

ri Harmony

пема than

Three-Pa
Th
had anticipated—Avabel

сл

more g nyone

s friends from
the gallery : 1 critics
Benedict's associates from the magazine
ad a number of his mother’s circle of
id

dealers a

quiet little knot of C
to Tulip. In addition. there wa
tering of individuals trom var
of life in a profu
bers of the cong
sense of shared
put it.

The program started with readings
from Rimbaud and Baudelaire delivered
by the bishop to the accompaniment of
a threestringed Chinese violin. А group
from the congregation be Har
Krishna chant while the bishop wafted
the room with incense.

Then the bishop moved to the heart

а seat.
ous walks
of costumes, mem-
long for "the
as one of them

tion
bliss.

(continued [rom page 126)

of the servic

having the partici]
d reading (0 them his
th to join the participants in holy
wedlock, At ihe moment of the
tional statements and responses, all hell
broke lose.

n hands а

trad

It was coming from the back of the
crowded room. Benedict couldn't ее ex-
аспу what was going on t the
haze of incense, but there was no que
tion as 10 who was the star performer.

His mother’s voice, thrilling in is
est contralto vibr: Hed the church

“godda brothel” ihe guests
weirdo, plasticfreak cultists” and the
bishop "a son-ola-bitching Lower East

the bishop kept saving.
kling. "Splendid.
s of Rome! Twi

ht of

hat's far enough, Cyrano.”

Exit Mrs. Blesing And Meg. For a
hushed moment, the audience listened 10
the offstage tirade drift from the
It died, finally, with the slam of
the cab d

“And so.”

sue

the bishop said. finger tips
touching. “revitalized and rededicated
by thar stirring, performance, we move
on to the culmination of this union;

As soon as the fi
had been made,

iouncement
ped out by

himself. The cab thar had brought Ara.
bella and Tulip was still waiting. He
commandeered it. Though married. he
had a filial obligation to fulfill, He was
sure that everyone would understand.

Th was an agonizing rides crawling
through the darkness of a winter'salte

noon rush how

The
horny. pneumatic drills Iro

icking meter, the
street crews
Ш blended in his mind with the chants.
He ev thought he could he 2a
wailing of rhe th
lin. Were all weddir
"Ive just been
wrong. Are wedd
culi:
“Always.”
ic.

the

this traumatic?
wried. Things went
ngs always this dilli-

the cabby said. "Believe

Benedia found this beautifully reas-

ig.

Bur his mothers apartment. was de
serted and his anxiety renmned. The
doorman hadn't seen either of them. В

edict went 10 Henris and searched the
dirk booths—his mother would never sit
at the bar—but they weren't there. He
went on w the Volga, an obscure cock-
tail lounge favored by aging White Rus-
sians. This time he was right
them were ac a little table in tlie comer
drinki

He sat down w

Fhe wo ol

hout a word

naled to Bro ne more
of the Judging by the napkins.
Meg and his mother were into their third
round. Fast work. Still по one talked
They were leaving the opener to him
“Did vou see that threesuinged Chi

э. the waiter, for

same,

nese Violin? Wasn that something?”

h was Hike lancing а boil: “Violi
You talk about а weirdo vi Р You sit
there alter an айай like thar and valk
about a violin as if we've just been to
some international musical soiree? How
could you

Anyone else might have felt that his

had been the wrong opening move. but
Benedict had observed his mother f
more thau two decides. He knew from
experience that по one moved his moth-

er with app or reason. Dis
traction. im These were the
only tactics that w

“And the dl be said. “Have

vou ever heard Hare Krishna. given so
nuch Feeling?

“Feeling? My God. Benedict 1 should
have had you committed.”

i" he said to Meg.

ig. As weddings go."
„ stood up. "Y

Insane" На
AIL heads in the Volga were
her direction. The captain
Bruno stood nearby, smiling like
pprehension. “What did

both
voice

absolutely insa

had risen.

and

about the music after conducting a ritual
that was а positive obscenity. There are
mo standards lelt anywhere. It would
serve you right if I stepped out that door

hr in front of a сар. Monster

time to shift tactic
rvelously," Benedict said, stand.
ing. too. "No son deserved more. A ter
ble strain on you. Other mothers would
have suppressed their feelings, would
have been caten out. You express your
honest convictions. Right out in the
open. Just exactly what you feel. And
that takes courage. Гуе learned that
from you. Whatever courage 1 have, Гуе
learned from you.” He picked up both

her hands, clutched them toge
Kissed them. “Thank you, Mother." He
turned to the captain and the waiter and

the nearby tables. ve been the luck-
dest son in the world.”
Mrs. Blessing stood there, caught for

once without words. Benedict couldn't

be sure, but he thought that there were
tears in her eyes. One last kiss, full on
the lips. and he was gone. On the run.

Avabel

When he reached . he was

flush with the sense of victory—the mas-
ter diplomat who has singlehandedly
avoided a nuclear confrontation between
He opened the door

major powers.
with his key and caught the familiar.
sensual smell of hot polyethylene. The
lights were out and for one dark mo-
ment, he was afraid that he was in for
another search. But no, there were candles
lit. And at the [ar end by the studio win-
dows were two forms. It was Arabella and
Tulip dancing slowly to a recording of
soulful Tibetan temple music.

He sa the water bed, home
at last. The gentle undulations under
the covers soothed hi
rything solved

dow

Arabella asked.
“А great ritual parting, Everything

solved. Sorry to I the church.

But you knew I'd be back, didn't you:
“OF course, love.”

е you

She stopped dancing for a moment
and gesumed to him. He danced with
her for a while. Later she stepped back
and he and Tulip continued. Не al-
s found her thin, adolescent body a
amt contrast with Arabel

fullness—like sweetandsour pork. he

"s ripe

thought. No, more like a rich port and
a light Chablis, alternate sips.

Without planning, completely at case,
they moved to the water bed together.
He began kissing the supine Arabella
while Tulip massaged his thigh.
sy does it" Arabela whispered.
"There's no rush.

Lovingly, hands were undoing clothes.
was no sure way of knowing
whose were working on which. Fabric
re and there. The Tibet
ns slid up and down the scales
with serpentine sensuality-

“Why was she so uptight
voice asked. It was coming from behind
him now, but he couldn't tell whether
those were her hands massaging him. His
cheek was resting оп someone's arm or
ps a leg. “What set her ой
Who knows?” Benedict said, shifting
again, probing new
was the service. T m à the bishop
said. ‘Do you, Arabella, take these two
good people as your lawful mate:
Dh, good," Arabella whispered, but
she wasn't ng about the bishop.
"Very good. You know, you
really marvelous."

Benedict felt no sensation of strange-
ness, of experimentation. Indeed, it was
as if he had been doing just this all

his life.
ü

slipped away 1

two are

You're out of cash. And out of town.

YOU'VE GOT
MASTER CHARGE

Vacation? Business trip? Wher-
ever you travel, and you need
money, you can get it with your
Master Charge card. It's good
for cash at over 16,000 Master
Charge card banking offices
across the U.S. And it’s good in
thousands of places abroad,

too. So when you travel... travel
relaxed.

master charge

THE INTEREAHK CARD

207

act), his crew.

ally in Vogue,

PLAYBOY

By a quarter of n
well into his set, but in the backstage
t was just background
watching the first
-party limos 10ll to а stop.
of the band and

honor. The men were wearing black

and battle jackets covered by the

liquid gleam of gold sequins. К;

quined dresses

Then came the limo bearing the cou-

ple's parents. They were a
but sparsely. Mr. Stewart. Sly's father,
had a few gold sc

Iso sequined,

“Tell him you're a

SYLVESTER THE CAT continued from page 101)

sarden staff, Sly’s retinue—
and 11 of the tallest, prettiest, 5
k girls you ev
black. They were the brides
of them turn up occasioi
and all work as higllashion models.

Kendricks was

line of the night: “I always wanted a
rden wedding.”

Sly and Kathy arrived a little after
ninc. More gold: his a jump suit that was
1 gold sequins, with a floor-length cape
ipping from his shoulders like a golden
aterfall; and hers а dress vagucl
spired by a sarong, with train, also solid
gold. Under the TV lights, with flash-
bulbs and strobes silently exploding
where, a
ed anyone within 50 tect
probably the point—to be so
human eyes cannot look upon you.

Бу 9:30—right on. schedule—the pro-
cession started onstage. First the models,
1 carrying golden palms (їп honor of
uhys home, Hawaii) and then ше
band, Sly's mother, by way of Kicking
g olf, made a speech about how
d how "Me and my

I that gold practically blind-
ich was

ppy she м
mister hav

t Slys 12
About Tomor
t. A nice f.
since she was very loud

compa ily touch, but

awful

Taurus!”

and couldn't find the right notes. Follow-
ing the band in the procession were the
parems of the couple, plus three small

and
nd the minister, Bishop В. В.

lentified children. Then came Sly
Kathy
Stewart from Siy's family church in Oak-
land. By this time the audience was a

held of flashbulbs going off and the

screams were more and more frenzied—
and it took several requests Гог q

the cere

а brief

the midst of the super-
De Mille st amd clamor, Bishop
Stewart managed to give the moment a
touching and very real dignity. By ten

Somehow

final se.
the couple oll
wedding р ed while the stage
was set up for the concert, Jan Hod
field said the next d. - New Yor
Post that Sly's playing wasn't the great-
est "Well, what the hell, how many
bridegrooms really do perform. well on
their wedding nights?" Nice line. but not
accurate. Му did play well—mostly old
hits such as Stand, Dance 10 the Music
amd Higher, plus a couple of songs (гот
new album. Not transcendent, but
ood as you'd need

By 11:30 а large clot of photographers
had < 10und the elevators lead-
s Sunlight Roof.
They were waiting for the cel
arrive. What they got were some society
folk. some aor and an unbelievable
crush of would-be gate-crashers——from
people vieldii bottles and issu-
ng death threats 10 stoned kids who
iming to be Truman
Capote or whoever entered their minds.

Bur the party went well. A dance b
ned — Webster
was a Japa-
vo sushi bars: p
turned all the way
шем wedding cake
lopped with a gold
record. Sly and Kathy arrived about one
лм. They cut the cake. did an hour's
worth of obl partying and left for
more private pleasures. The рану lin-
ered a il after three. d
ие, as parties must these days, with a
streaker.

College sueakers arc into it for the
риге dumb fun. of doing something to
mind-boggle the straights, bw Муз
streaker had other reasons, since he was
in veal life a star of porno films. His dash
across the pearly empty Starlight. Roof,
cock jiggling past the party's re

vasn't Hasher high

Чот

broke

dered in c

caded Бу

someone na
Lewis played all night; ther
nese bullet. including
lons of booze: n
up to ten; and the bi
nybody ever. sav

I пей ui

Which

ога whimper—but with а commerci

у) She Sh end,
Mas

poid; 94 pish Mead
ти

night eam. m. ake aman.,

Onish mead a disarming uw made RB
with aged heathi henen Liga а x
mang van the Mp

«о obvaccorwilft- E
Aa ame ana

PIPE TOBACCO LACED WITH AGED

f he Fenty THER HONEY LIQUOR

Thy Кү i
and лос how Ahe-

PLAYBOY

210

PLAYBOY FORUM

opponent of methadone in his office for
giving а misleading account of autopsy
reports on addicts.

Тат impressed by the letter from San-
ford P. Cohen. I wish I lived in New York
so I could vote for him.

Patricia Bond
Denver, Colorado

SANITY AND THE LAW
At last, one public officia
State has taken a ма st rhe ма
Draconian antidrug law. which was
passed mainly for the purpose of further-
ing Nelon Rockefellers Presidential
mbitions. Manhatan t attorney
Richard H. Kuh has announced thi
those arrested Гог selling small amounts
of methadone will be given a chance, be-
fore they arc indicted, to plead guilty to
lesser, misdemeanor charges. Under the
ultraharsh Law. they would normally face
mandatory life imprisonment.
А New York Times editorial compared
Kuh's stand with that of 17th. Century
court offidals who. during the witch-
hunt mania, found ways to circumvent
the cruel. punishments imposed by that
era's laws. As the Times pointed out,
“Mr. Rockefellers politically inspired
monstrosity has failed to have any
measurable impact on the flow of drug
or the operations of major narcotics deal-
ers.” Perhaps Kuh’s action is а first step
back to sanity and compassion.
J. Edwards
‘Atlantic City, New Jersey

in New York

id а,

POT AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONING

Rescarchers at the Reproductive Biolo-
gy Research Foundation reported that
heavy marijuana use—at least four days
а week for six months—by 20 healthy
men signific: decreased their plasma
testosterone levels and sperm counts
(Forum Newsfront, June). Two sub-
jects reported actual difficulty function-
ing sexually. The researchers were careful
to note that they could not check the
potency of the marijuana used,
did they know the subjects’ horme
levels before they began to m
juana. Despite these limitations, the re-
search was g ally carried out with
sreat care, and the consistency of the find-
ings indicates that mari fects hor-
monal functioning

Because there is under.
standing of the effect on human. behav-
ior of reduced plasma testosterone, the
significance of these findings is unclear
however, it’s possible they may be
vant to the consistent report by users th
marijuana affects their sexual exper
ence. (My “High States: А Beginni
Study," a Drug Abuse Council
confirms the frequency of such
reports.) Marijuana alters the percep-
боп of time and many users say that

nor

little or no

(continued from page 60)

sexual
lor
contact,

orgasm, is often felt as more
tiated апа more specific than
Aso. it is generally agreed that
empathy with the p:
The мо from

na's influence a
ars to go on for

under mariju
experience app
time. Each phase of sexui
particul:
“ше
usual.
there
ner's

the
К.В.К.Е. provides the first evidence that

response

there may be an objective pliysiologi
e to the consistent subjective
report of changed sexual response.
Unto ely, these tentative findings
are being cited erroncously by oppo-
nents of marijuana decriminali
Mi
policy at reducing the harm
caused by defining marijuama users as
iminals: it is not based on a finding of
harmlessness, nor is it intended to cn-
The authors of the R.B.R.F.
study recognized this problem when they
testified before the U. S. Senate Internal
Security Subcomniittce:

We wish to draw the
between our role as scientists
concerned citizens.

[As scientists] our position is si
ply that of wanting the legislators
and the public to be well-informed
on all sides of this issu

[As concerned. citizens] we would
now like to state our personal hope
for a move toward the decriminali,
tion o marijuana possession

We should decrim
while continuing valid research ellorts
into the potential effects of marijuana
on the user

Zinberg, M.D.
ве, M

Dr. Zinberg is à member of the Jaculty
of Harvard Medical School, the Boston
Psychoanalytic Institute and the advisory
board of the National Organization for
the Reform of Marijuana. Laws. His most
recent book, written with J. Robertson, is
“Drugs and the Public.

suchusetts

THE PERILS OF POT

An artide in the June tenth issue of
U.S. News & World Report confirmed
my long-held suspicion about marijuana:
Ir's physically dangerous. The article re
ported on the results of an i
ob marijuana use by the U.S. Sena
Internal Security Subcommittee, Without
going into all the details, suffice it to say
That a number of distinguished scientists
testified that marius nowhere
the innocuous substance that you and
other druglaw reformers have tried for
so long to pretend it is. Another article.
by Washington Post writer Robert Jof-
fee, also suggested that using pot cn-
tails serious physical risks: It apparently
causes chromosome damage, endangers

ides, produces psychological de-
pendence. lowers male testosterone levels
(thereby undoubtedly causing sexual
problems and possibly impairing sexual
development and disrupting maturation)
and adversely affects the body's. immu
nological system.

nce marijuana is clearly а much
greater peril to human health than even
some of its dettactors had previously sus
pected, 1 think me to end the cru
de to liberalize laws
you're honest | think you'll hi

"st

against its use. T
ею

mes. Johnson

Chicago, Minois
re honest, and we disagree. The
“distinguished scientists” who presented
their findings to the subcommittee were
chosen from among those known to be

hostile to marijuana use. (Subcommittee
chairman Senator James О. Eastland stat-
ed before the hearings began that. their
purpose was to offset what he viewed as an
“imbalance in the published information
generally available to the public on the
subject о] marijuana") Many equally
distinguished men of science have chal-
lenged the findings of these who testi-
fied. and in some cases have found it
difficult or impossible to vepeat their ex-
periments and achieve the same resulis.
(See “Killer Weed Returns,” “The
Playboy Forum,” July.)

These scientific arguments are a differ-
ent issue. from the legal question. Advo-
сагу of decriminalization is not based on
the premise that marijuana is harmless
but on the fact that the state has no justi-
fiable interest in incarcevating people for
using it. Jailing users certainly doesn’t re-
habilitate (hen, nor is it at all. effective
as a deterrent to others; the Govern
ments own figures show that marijuana
use is increasing rapidly despile all legal
attempts to discourage it. All one can say
for the punitive approach is that it adds
to whatever problems the user already
may ha

Several state bar associations. have
gone on record in support of legalizing
the controlled sale and use of mari-
juana. In fact, many vocal auti-marijuana
spokesmen themseh
of decriminalization, They include Sena-
tor Eastland, who stated that he and the
subcommittee are “opposed to sending
young people to jail [or the simple pos-
session of small quantities of marijuana
for personal use... . This is no longer
at issue.”

е.

s favor some form

“The Playboy Forum" offers the
opportunity for ап extended. dialog. be-
tween rcadeis and editors of this pub-
lication on subjects and issues related to

The Playboy Philosophy.” Address all
correspondence to The Playboy Forum,
Playboy Building, 919 North. Michi-
gan venue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611.

“It is my feeling. Mr. Bronson, that if you don't find fulfillment
with Chloé, you're just not going to find it."

PLAYBOY

212

=
Whaling Ship Chas. W. Morgan, 17%3"Lx 1272" h. cpmplete
dit with carved hul, sail materiel, all fittings and instructions
$24.95 plus $1.00 shipping.

SHIP MODELS

A ship model is а small piece of seagoin’ history. Relax-
ing to build, the finished model lends a warmth and charm.
to your home or your office that nothing else can quite
duplicate,

Our new fully illustrated 144 page catalog shows over
55 historic sailing ships - all available in kit form and some
as finished models. Also shown are ships clocks, ships’
wheels, famous pictures of ships and sea, figureheads and
decorative nautical items by the score.

Send 256 for caos o: PRESTON S

112-С Main St. Wharf, Greenport, М. Y. 11944

most сһайепдїпл
sport.

Write:

Rura! Route Оле;
Grayling, MI-

MICRO MINI MIKE]
WIRELESS.

Self contained. Picks p & trarsmils most
sounds without wires up to 45D ft. thu
any FM radio. Use as burglar alarm,
music amplifier, intercom, baby sitter,
fot line, etc. Comp. with batt, Money
tack guar. B of ^, M/C eds. or COD ok
Only $14.85 add 505 for psige. 8 hdig.
AMG SALES, Dept. P Box 610, Downey,

Only Trà x Vr x Su"

SENSUOUS
СОМТВАСЕРТ)
BY MAIL!

TOOAY S ULTRA-THIN CONDOMS PROVIDE
A SENSUOUS EXPERIENCE AND PROTECTION TOO!

Today а man ist doesnt have to tolerate а sensation
айеппе corslom when he wants protection. Now there
ultrathin supremely sensitive сорить. that have

от sexual pleasure, while $ proving

st iéhable protection of any non-prescrinhon brih
control method And now you can buy И пушо
Condoms without embarrassment ‚Бу ordering them
Through the privacy of Ihe тәй from Population Planning

Dur slustrated 20-page catalog descnbes the wide selec
Лап ol condoms we oller ЭЙ ralicnally ‘advertised
brands the popular Trojan "The pre-shaped NuFerm

"Population Planning. Dept raza
Мн Columba SU Chapel Hal, NC 27514

Please rush me in plain package
[О Sampler of 12 assorted condoms (8 dilterent brands)
aly, $3
Sampler of 22 assorted condo
en! brands) plus catalog $6
C) itustrated catalog atone, 25¢
a
Address ——— e lcs
bly State _

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

(continued from page 76)
know from reading The Playboy Advisor,
of course, that I can get the dap from cat-
ing pussy or geuing a blow job. Gena
says it would take her a long time to get
over her hatred of me if I gave her any-
thing. This is a constant area of tension,
PLAYBOY: Do you and Gena have other
as of tension?

GOLDSTEIN: How much time do you have?
1 really love my wife, but I also feel I са
love other women and I fuck around.
This is no secret. Gena not only knows
about it but later she has to be con-
ng about it in print.
gets her crazy. And causes fights. She
really feels our sex life should be private.
So we are constantly at war. would
like me to be nice: nd, L think, less
hun But I am what I am. So it's a
hard trip for her. Most times she knows
I love her. But she's also aware that 1
have a great со з for exhibition
istic candor. And и nnl to her.
We've been able to r agreement
concerning extramarital sex. She simply
insists that none of my sex take am
from any of her time. So 1 fuck around.
dayrimes, Since I wouldn't see her in the
daytime anyhow, she figures its OK as
long as we're together at night. As soon
it gets dark, 1 become married ag:
My extamurital relationships a
right with h long she doesn't
know about them and as long as they're
not blarant
PLAYBO
blatant?
GOLDSTEIN: What I'm doing now is bla-
tant—alking about it in praynoy. Bla-
tant is rubbing her nose in it—like going
to an orgy and having great sex and then
going home and telling her about the
fantastic blow job 1 got or the beautiful
tits on а woman I Laid and saying it was
the greatest night of sex I ever had. Or
bringing it up in a fight, saying, “I don't
need you. I got laid last night elsewhere.”
Or maybe telling her mother. Basically,
that would be exploding the very roots of
the marriag
PLAYBOY: Does Ge
portunity
away?
GOLDSTEIN: Absolutely not. Our relatio:
р isa chesical double standard. Gon-
sidering the atypical life I lead, I'm
azed to find how valid some of the old
values are. I tend to think this country is
on the brink of a retum to sexual cor
ventionalism, that a lot of the unfashior
able old values—a nice house and a
family—will suddenly begin making
more sense. And those values have always
embraced. cheatin lor the man. I like
ng around, bur 1 also like
home to somebody I love 411i
ing the security of a main,
nship. Gen:

What would she

consider

have a similar op-
to fool around when youre

important

keeps asking how I'd

Tsay. "И

like it if she did the 2 thing
ld be over.”

он did it, the marriage wo
‘That gets her very upset: she says i's un
fair, Then I admit it's not only unfair. it’s
medieval—but. that’s where I'm at. I've
got to honor my craziness. I can see Gen:
geting really pissed at me and starting to
fuck around at some point. Probably not
for the next four or five years, Maybe by
then ГИ be open to some change. Be-
cue it really is unfair, what I'm doing
But maybe by then ГИ care less. The first
seraich on your new ly hurts you.
It doesn’t matter after that. With Gena,
Vm sure that after theres a few more
dents in her, ГИ be more willing to lend
her out. But for now, I still feel insecur
warm lady and

because | know she's
other guys could make her come. So |
can't allow her the same freedom T insist
on for myself. I still need the excitement
of little firecrackers going off in my ass-
hole. No matter how hard you try, keep-
ing sex in marriage exciting is impossible
Gena's superb, but eventually, things be
come predictable

PLAYBOY: What is superb about Gena
GOLDSTEIN: My wife is the greatest hump
Гуе ever had. And she's a great cocksuck
er, bener than Linda Lovelace. One ol
her holds on me is that 1 know she'll do
anything I want. But this interview is
bound to cause another fight. I don't

саге, "cause 1 want this to be the most
honest interview тглувоү has ever ru
even ng my marriage

and 19 friendships and ту analy
relationship. Gena and I have had so
many fights anyway that they should be
assigned numbers. Like number 97 was
the fight we had about my blow job in 7t
Happened in Hollywood, а hard-core
film that Screw financed and produced.
Г was curious to see what happens to the
brain as you're being done when there
are П people on the set, cameras go
and lights blazing. 1 really feel my cock is
in fine shape: I'm $8 and it gets up and
pops its load nicely. But this particular
day I didn't come for three and а hall
hours, because I felt very alienated; I was
just a hunk of meat trying to conform to
a certain schedule that had been pro-
gramed for my cock. Г was supposed to be
а stud who would ejaculate at the right
moment. A very pretty actress named
Kathy finally caught my come in a chal-
ice. I really didn't get to talk to her much
while we were filming, because my cock
was in her mouth. After the shooting, 1
invited her to lunch. She refused. It

mazed me, because she'd given me а
nice blow job. Tt was like my cock was
good enough to suck, but 1 wasn't good
nough to have lunch with.

Anyhow, Gena has refused to see the
film, But at least she no longer zaps me
about it. Her analyst says she must make
a choice: If it's that painful dealing with
а personality like me, she can move out:
or accept me for the crazy person and

Get set for some more
really great Times, with some
more really great drinks.

The Baltimore Bang
INGREDIENTS: 1% oz. EARLY TIMES,
% oz. Apricot Brandy,
1 oz. Lemon Juice, 1 teaspoon Sugar.
1 RECIPE: Shake with ice 117 oz.
EARLY TIMES, % oz. Apricot

1 tsp. Sugar. Strain into sour
А Blass. Garnish/cherry,
w$ orange slice.

The Denver Mint
INGREDIENTS: 1' oz. EARLY TIMES,
% oz. White Creme de Menthe,
% oz. Lime Juice, 2 teaspoons Sugar, Club Soda.
RECIPE: Shake over ice 1' oz. EARLY TIMES,
EXE

М oz. White Creme de Menthe, % oz. Lime Juice,
2 tsp. Sugar. Strain into highball glass, filled
with ice, stir in Club Soda.

Garnish/orange slice and straw.

The Milwaukee Madness
INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. EARLY TIMES,

"4 oz. Peppermint Schnapps, 1 Dash Bitters.
RECIPE: Add | oz. EARLY TIMES,

% oz. Peppermint Schnapps,

1 Dash Bitters to ice filled rocks |

glass; stir well

The Philadelphia Filly &
INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. EARLY TIMES,
1 oz. Brown Cacao, 1 oz. Cream,
RECIPE: Shake vigorously 1 oz.
EARLY TIMES, 1 oz.Brown Cacao,
1 oz. Cream with cracked ice, Aas
Strain into stem glass. se

The Minneapolis Hustler
7T INGREDIENTS: 2 cz. EARLY TIMES,
1 oz. Sweet Vermouth, 1 oz. Orange
Curacao, № oz. Lime Juice.
RECIPE: Shake over cracked ice 2 oz. EARLY TIMES,
1 oz. Sweet Vermouth, 1 oz. Orange Curacao,
oz. Lime Juice. Strain into stem glass.

To know us is to love us.

=~ >) Тһе Tampa Tarpon

INGREDIENTS: 1% oz. EARLY TIMES,
V: oz. Triple Sec, 3 oz. Orange Juice,
1 teaspoon Sugar, Club Soda
RECIPE: Shake 1^ oz. EARLY TIMES,
% оз. Triple Sec, 3 oz.
Orange Juice, 1 tsp. Sugar with
ice. Pour into highball glass, stir
| in Club Soda.
Garnish Pineapple slice.

The Reno Sp!
INGREDIENTS: 1% oz. EARLY TIMES,
1 oz. Apricot Brandy,
2 oz. Pineapple Juice, Club Soda.
RECIPE: Shake 1 oz.
oz. Apricot
Brandy, 2 oz. Pineapple Juice
with ice; pour into highball
glass, stir in Club Soda.
| Garnish/pineapple slice.

The Phoenix Bird
/ INGREDIENTS: 1 oz. EARLY TIMES.
& oz. Creme de Banana, '⁄ oz.
Triple Sec, 1 oz. Fresh Cream.
ECIPE: Blend 1 oz. EARLY TIMES,
> oz. Creme de Banana, '/ oz.
Triple Sec. 1 oz. Fresh Cream with
; strain into sour glass.

The Memphis Sling Shot
INGREDIENTS: 1 ог. FARLY TIMES,
% oz. Sloe Gin, 1% oz.
Z7-Up®, 3 Dashes Lime Juice.
RECIPE: Stir 1 oz. EARLY TIMES,
% oz. Sloe Gin, 1'2 ог. 7-0РЯ,
3 Dashes Lime Juice with cracked
ice, pour into sour glass. у -
[^] Gernish/orange slice. cem s

The Kansas City Cutie

INGREDIENTS: 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, № oz.

White Creme de Menthe, \/. oz. Coffee Liqueur.

RECIPE: Stir 2 oz. EARLY TIMES, ' oz. White Creme de Menthe,
М ог. Coffee Liqueur in rocks glass. Add ice and serve.

Early Times Glass Offer

To ert a home entertainment set of 24

elegant glasses. stemmed Martini

glasses, 6 Whisky Sour glasses. 6 High- \ T,
ball glasses and 6 Old Fashioned glasses),

send $9.95 to Early Times Home

Entertainment Glass Set, P. О. Box

1080, Louisville, Kentucky 40201.)

Now you're set for some
really great Times.

exhibitionist that 1 am.
assumit

She married me
Change me, as all
women do, and still in't reconciled to
the fact that she's not going to succeed.
PLAYBOY: You said Gena hated the pho-
tographs Screw published of Linda Love-
lace perlorming her specialty оп you.
What did she say to you about them?

GOLDSTEIN: She didn't say anything, She
sulked, went and
the displayed а

she could

another
She
Jewish-princess cuntiness that sh
at, because she learned it from her moth-
cr. I told her that I'm the George Plimp
ton of sex: I want to do everything. I
must live my own lile, both sexually and
emotionally. Screw and my needs come
first. The m e is secondary. If she
lelt, I would miss her, but without Screw
and my writing, I might expire. I tell her
that my life is my paper and chat if she
herself to that, fine. If
e ends, It's a decision she

into room

slammed door

s good

сап subordinate

not, the m
has to make.
PLAYBOY:
1 daytime soap opera
GOLDSTEIN: It gets worse. Belore we got
married, my analyst wanted to meet with
Gena, to explain why he thought Т wasn't
the greatest candidate for . Не
Fm infantile, compulsive, always
icting out my fantasies. He's right. m
absolutely а child—and 1 wouldn't want
There's nothing ГИ

Phis is be

ning to sound like

marria

feels

to lose that quality
inhibit myself from doing. But she knew

that ahead of time. A prenuptial deal
was made that 1 wouldn't write in Screw
Гуе honored

about my sex life with Ge
that, but there was nothing in the deal
about my discussing her with PLAYBOY.
PLAYBOY: Is Gena one of Screw's avid
readers?

GOLDSTEIN: Not if 1 can help it. Usually, if
there's something potentially dangerous
in the paper, I don't even take the latest
What
1 can't believe

Screw home, But then she'll. say

аге you hiding His wee
it. I'm sure Hefner doesn't sneak around
the way 1 do. One of the issues 1 didn't
take home contained my article on
pussy. You know, I'm probably the great-
est pussy cater in the United States
PLAYBOY: How can you be sure
GOLDSTEIN: Let me amend that to read
brilliandy superior and dynamically crea-
tive. Women have continuously told me
I'm really excellent. I
cated an activity:
saturation point of skill
as good as a guy can be. И we were talking
about wine, ГА be grand cru, first-class,
first growth. There might be other people
e as good as I am, like certa
nbonists who are able to double

not that compli-
you quickly reach a

But I thi

ak Fm

who i n
tre
triple-tongue. I can't do that. Sometimes
1 wish Га kept up with my music lessons:
if Га only realized the training guys like
Tommy Dorsey were getting!

PLAYBOY: Why were you afraid to take
the

and

home issue of Screw containing

your artide on cunt
GOLDSTEIN: Because not only docs the arti
cle deal with how I eat pussy but in it 1
describe eating a girl who happens not to
be my wife. I didn't want to have a fight
with Gena again. That's not very coura-
geous of me, but, shit, it's certainly sell
vative. Who wants to have to sulk

PLAYBOY:

marriage

Ivs hard to believe that

could

any

survive so much stress.

Do you really think it’s worth savin
GOLDSTEIN: Definitely. yes. It's almost like
I need that litle bit of friction in both
my personal and professional lives. It's
funny. What induced me to marry Gena
was а test in Cosmopolitan called some.
thing like “Are You a Door M: I was
impressed with her very high score. in
dicating that she wouldn't let me shit

on her

PLAYBOY: But isn't that exacily what
you're doing, and however upset she gets,
isn’t she tolerating it?

GOLDSTEIN: It's not totally She
also extracts а price. There are some psy
chiatrists who theorize that in a masochis-

ne-sided

tic relationship. the masochist really has
the sadist. Because
I'm dependent on her accepting my
strictures, she's really in control. Alter I

saw the results of that Cosmopolitan

more power than

quiz, I took her to Portugal and said let's
t married—and I don't regret it
We wound up being married ш

Barney Google's, an East

713

214

Are you paying through
for aerosol deodorants?

Propellant mokes up a large part of
is a solid deodorant that applies evenly,

exacily where you want it. So it lasts a
lot longer.

Get off your can.
Get on the stick.

aerosol deodorants. Mennen Speed Stick?

the nose

club. The rabbi who married us had been
arrested for his work in the peace move-
ment and thrown out of several aflu-
ent synagogues when he complained that
they weren't supporting the poorer syna
gogues. I liked him because he seemed
like a crazy. During the he
said. “Tomorrow, on the marquees of
all the porno theaters in New York, it
will read, GOLDSTEIN 15 MARRIED." He
id, “There's so much shit in our society
that only the sincerity of two people to
make a marriage work has true meaning.
Because if they're together, they can help
fight the crap that permeates this world.”
My family had never seen 3 rabbi like him
before. Neither had I, for that matter.
PLAYBOY: What did you give Gena for a
wedding gift?

GOLDSTEIN: | bought her two kinky night-
gowns. One had bra openings allowing
the nipples to come through. The other
1 а zipper down the pussy. Г bought
them at a schlock shop down in the
Times Square arca. For myself, 1 bought
some briefs with a cock embroidered on
them. Would you like to sec them?
PLAYBOY: No, thanks. But did either of
you ever wear them?

GOLDSTEIN: Oh, sure. We do lots of trampy
things. We set scenes and play-act to keep
things lively. It's so mandane, I'm almost
mbarrassed to talk about it. We look at
fuck films to get turned on. Then I make

стопу,

bel

jeve I picked her up at a 1
times we just randomly pick page
The Joy of Sex. One time 1 was doing a
таре number on her and wanted to tie
her up. I couldn't find any торе, so I had
to use а 15-1001 extension cord. I'm your
typical inept male lover. I can do that
slam, bam, thank you, ma'am, routine,
100. Bur basically Г don't want to come
too quickly, so ГИ think of things like
parking meters, laundry lists, typewrit
ers—anything that’s counterproductive to

s out of

eroticism. 1 won't lose my hard-on, but
ГИ lose my focus. If I wait too long,
hi. ГИ be so tired I just can't com

"C know how other guys operate, but
Tiell my wife it's пог necessary for me to
come all the time. And I don't want her
to feel she has to come every time.
PLAYBOY: You make your rela
sound terribly unromantic.
GOLDSTEIN: 1 suppose our philosophy for
togetherness would best be described as
Make war, then make love." Let me tell
you about one final source of irritation.
I keep telling myself I'm part of a sex
revolution, and yet my wife and I fight
about whether or not | should wear
wedding band. She'd like me to w
onc, expecially when I'm out of New
York, so si rs will know I'm not a
said before, she doesn't
care about my fucking them, but she's
id VIL get into a meaningful relati
ship and leave her. And she feels t

ionship

ring is a red flag. She says I owe it to
her—and others—to announce that I
belong to her. She sounds like те, telling
me that 1 belong to her. Which infuriates
mc. So, on principle, I refuse to wear
one. Besides, it would cramp my style on
out-of-town trips.
PLAYBOY: What kind of trips?
GOLDSTEIN: I spend a lot of time on the
college lecture circuit. That's one of my
major sources of sexual informatioi
and dough. Three or four times a
month, I get paid from $500 to 52000
for each appearance. Usually I screen It
Happened in Hollywood and then ра-
cipate in question-and-answer. sessions.
‘The kids are extremely open and recep-
tive to me. 1 tell them. “When I went to
college 12 years ago, my concern was get-
ting laid. Are you guys getting laid
enough?" And they'll say, "No!" To the
women, ГЇЇ say, "How many of you can
just grab а guy's cock and say, "Are you
feeling horny?" I never see а hand go
up. Which proves that the candor
dialog has opened up. but the substance
hasn't changed that much. These kids
also reveal an awareness of their parents!
hypocrisy concern
that the words they were told to live by
were very different from the actions of
their parents. They're trying to lead their
own sexual lives, as much as possible,
consistent with some truth. They have
trouble dealing with the generation gap.
Their parents’ generation smooched. in
the back seat of the car or went to a motel
to have sex. These kids would prefer to
have sex naturally. maybe even in their
parents’ bedroom,
PLAYBOY: What sort of questions do these
students ask you?
GOLDSTEIN: Here are some of the most
common ones. One: “How authentic are
the Screw classifieds that advertise pas-
&YDSY girls, foot fetishists, horny
housewives and headmistresses home for
the summe: 1 answer, “The ads in
e as real as the employment ads
in The New York Times. There's some
exaggeration and there's some dishon-
esty, as in any other advertising field.
The buyer should beware: the guys’ cocks
may not be as big or the women as ravish-
ag as claimed. But we don't sit in our
offices and concoct classifieds out of thin
ad

Two: “Are you in the porno business
strictly for money?" I realize that Wat
gate has made these kids cynical, but T
bridle when IE hear th 1 may be making
а lot of money, but 1 really believe I'm
doing some good by demythologizing a
lot about sexuality.

Three: “What's your sex life like?” 1
tell them, “I'm constantly in search of
pussy, but mostly I have то pay for it or I
don't get it.”

Four: "Do you get to meet all of the
raunchy women you publish pictures
of?” 1 say, "My sex life is probably less

our

exciting than that of most professors
whose classes you take, at least the profes-
sors who look up the micromini dresses
of 18-year-olds. I almost never meet
models who аге photographed for Screw.
Ninerynine percent of the photos are

tiken on the West Coast and bought
from photo houses. Most of them arc
shot after fuck films are completed by е

g on

terprising still photographers waiti
the side lines. 1 nt to get
volved with gett
make sure they're of age
don't have needle п
“Wh
like” 1 have а stock a
like any othe
ten inches.

‘They also ask what kind of women, be-
sides Linda and my Jewish-princess wile,
really turn me on, I answer: Girls with
D-fashion-modelish. long

in-

ag girlsand having to
nd that they

She's just
ke

pely calves. If a girl has
Шу don’t want to fuck or
Big tits don't hold much appeal
for me. Pussy does. I'm oral. Гус never
met а pussy I didn’t like. When I see a
woman, my first sexual instinct is not to
fuck her but to eat her. Most women I go
down on come. The fact that 1 give them
pleasure makes me feel more masculine.
It removes my anxieties, takes the heat off
for me.

My favorite fantasy is making it with a
WASP princess like Cybill Shepherd. I
like her frozen look. Га also love ke
it with Marilyn Chambers, the porn star.
Jane Fonda, she attract
pretty. skinny and articulate. I tend to be
drawn to strong women, or women who
will reject me. That's probably why Glo-
1 Steinem is а woman I find especially
desirable. Г also think she's attainable. 1
can really jerk off to the thought of her,
because 1 сли conceive of making it with
ler somed
PLAYBOY: R.

е because she’

I doubt that she's the
self-sufficient feminist she says she is. I
still feel that а good pussy cater like my-
self could open her up to sex

t bad. Is a Walter Mitty К
wr 1 go through. Yet if she and I
were at the sume party, Fm sure 1 would

stay in the corner, too embarrassed to
c myself.
Is there anyone else who trig-

gers your fantasies?
GOLDSTEIN: I would go down on Tricia
Nixon. And William Buckley's wife looks
very desirable to me. There аге many
conservatives I'd like to ball. Pat Nixon
is an exception. but that’s only because
of her waxiness. She looks like something
out of. Madame Tussamd's. But 1 keep
dreaming of getting laid by all ki
women. The only problem is that Tn
rarely successful. Many otherwise accessi

ids of

Does shaving burn your face? And your
ofter-shove make it feel worse? You need
Mennen Айс? after-shave and skin conditioner.
Afta soothes and protects against the dry,
chafing effects that sun, wind and shaving

have on your face.

Dont get burned.

Get Afta.

ble women—feminists, ex-nuns
ish princesses waiting for
doctor—won't go to bed with me because
they think my standards are so high that
they'll fail.

PLAYBOY: Are you sure that's the reason?
GOLDSTEIN: Definitely. They assume I've
balled my brains out all over the place
and alter Linda Lovelace they'll be inad-
equate for my needs. It’s as if they'd be
playing stickball with k Aaron
When I spoke recently in Kalamazoo.
Michigan, a student feminist starred out
being very antagonistic to me during the
question<ind-answer period. But later,
after 1 had finished autographing copies
of Screw, we got to talking and she in
vited me home with F Т was thinking.
“Oh, boy, wow. I'm going to get laid.
But once we got to her house and into
some light necking, she began а whole
number: “Ah, you must get this all the
time, so much sex. My husband left me
а year ago and 1 haven't done
I'm not going to be any good” Desper-
ately I tried to reassure her, but she
i “IL couldn't compare with all
women you've been with.” I
couldn't believe it. ally I said, “I
won't judge you, I won't compare. you,
lets just fuck.” Nothing doing. 1 never
got laid; she just drove ше back to my
motel room, where I relieved my frustra
tions by jerking off. That sort of thing ha
happened so often now that Гуе come to

па Jew-
their

since.

like Gay
à compre-

expect it. A well-known wri
Talese—who's curently doi

hensive book on contemporary sexual
mores—hits on a woman with an affirm;
tive, aggressive direciness. Ней simply
sk а woman if she wants to make it with
him. I'm incapable of picking a girl up.
I can make small talk, but unless there's
a very obvious welcome, I'm dead,
PLAYBOY: Why?

GOLDSTEIN: I'm so afraid of rejection. I
envy the approach of a Talese. He and I
e spent an appreciable amount of
time together recently. About six or eight
months ago. we participated in а four-
hour boat orgy that took place on the
River and Long bland Sound.
There were four guys and six women
Usually, you have to bring а woman—
which is called a ticket—but since we
considered celebrities, we got
without escorts, Talk about name-drop
ping ns to fame, I fucked side by
side wi у Talese, When I die, 1 w
that as my epitaph.
PLAYBOY: How deep
the orgy scene?
GOLDSTEIN: For с. I was very l
into orgies. But my feelings about them
always seem to be vacillating. When I go.
they disappoint me. But when I don't go.

ast

I remember the nice thi

s—like the an-

ty and excitement of fucking new
bodies, Last year. after a SIECUS confer-
се that included all of the heavyweights

215

PLAYBOY

216

of the sex world, I left this group of pon-
tificating professionals to attend an orgy
hosted by my partner's brother. I got
undressed, w:

ked into the bedroom and.

discovered ng of
sev
was being cate
in her mouth, fucked it, came, wei
got dressed and left. 1 have no id
she 1t all scemed so weird and de-
hed; it wasn't а substantial, mi
ful. experience. It would be a lot simpler
И there were vending machines—maybe
they could be called. Vagin-olas—where
for a quarter I could insert my cock, get
vibrated, come and then go.

PLAYBOY: What kind of people do you
meet at orgies?

GoibsrEN: By and large, the men all
seem to be older and fat and tabby, sad
physical specimens who obviously never
auended a health dub. Lonely men,
getting old and frightened and desper-
tely ing out for one last tit. To me
the orgy just represents а very nice con-
text for wealthy people to get desirable
bodies without the coarseness of having
to pay. 1 can make it at an orgy. I can
fuck. 1 can come. I can do all the things
that all the sexual athletes can do. But I
d it lonely. I find it sad.

PLAYBOY: Don't you ever get tired of mak-
ing sex your whole world?

sy chain con

п or eight bodies. I found a girl who
nelt down, put my cock
t out,

GOLDSTEIN: Oh, sure. Г get saturated with
the stuff. Man does not live by cock
alone. When 1 get tired of the sex trip, I
go to the Radio City Music Hall and re-
w the stage show. What I seem to be
fighting ag | ennui. Г
was in а group-therapy thing for a while,
but I left it a few months ago. Each
of my 12 fellow neurotics һай vivid
fantasies. M е food fanta-
sies. I wanted to be in а bathtub filled
with milk shakes. The problem is that 1
have seen and participated in every vari
ety of sex imaginable, so nothing—other
than the search for fresh pussy—seems
new anymore.

I've seen people fucking in every possi-
ble way; Гус seen wall-to-wall fesh ac
og I've had
mouths all over my bod:
“ mes, I've had Nav
stroking away on те behind the podium
during a panel discussion of pornog
phy in the media, before 1000 people
and a TV crew at NYU. It’s like if you've
been to the moon once, you don't want

to swi

Гуе been

I've been in
та Hollander

се

10 go back.

Things have heen so calm lately there's
almost а tranquillity to my life. My w
gave birth. and I've been sued for libel
four times in the last month. But still

“As near as I can translate it...
‘Queen Nefertiti, ruler of the Nile, daughter of
the gods, empress of the Mediterranean. .. met Tutankhamen,
king of the delta, messenger from the heavens, most
exalted prince of the universe . . . and on this
spol gave him a blow job. ^

there
by

ng. I haven't
. That makes
me nervou ing? I really
need the attention of being arrested, be-
cause that means I'm still bugging the e%
tablishment, that I'm still gadfly to the
state. Acceptance of me and Screw would
be the kiss of death.

PLAYBOY: Judging from the Supreme
Court's refusal to hear your appeal from
those New York obscenity convictions—in
upholding them—that acceptance
t seem exactly imminent. Were you

Vt enough
arrested in two у

Nixon appointecs.
the Court would

ing. We c . We don't surre
our raunchy material w
about redeem
s own redeeming
PLAYBOY: Would you elaborate oi
GOLDSTEIN: Lm saying Им
the very fact th
hard-on. 165
that a soft cock
hard cock. Our laws. postulate that pic-
tures of mayhem, blood. violence are OK.
Soft cocks are OK. But a hard-on is bad.
And actual fucking—or as а New York
court said in one of our cases, "ultimate
sex activity '—is bad. As 1 sat in the
courtroom in Albany and heard the old
judges using this phrase, 1 realized its
them against me. These are old. people
who don't fuck anymore. They don't
speak for ше. So we took our guilty de
sion and used it in promotion copy to
sell subscriptions. We're not humble.
We're not contrite. furiaes Ше
courts. Basically, w
respect you as

sic

nore redeem

ag we don't
you find us
g you the

us, we're not.
going to be appreciative. That gets them
crazy.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever considered the
possibility that you might wind up in
prison?

GOLDSTEIN: Гуе already been to jail on ten
different: occasions, nine of which were
for obscenity busts, Fortunately, 1 never
had to stay overnight. And the same fel-
low, Donald Gray of the morals squad,
arrested cach time. Since he knows
L dike Chinese food, he always makes
sure 1 get booked at a precinct house
d cat а sumptuous meal
ach а

1 invited him to my wedding. But the
vileges he grants me can hardly
make up for the eml d
others—have suffered. In one of my first

rrassment I

Can you spot

Almost everyone at the
beach today has a gimmick
ind the one who doesn't
1. Море. He's Harmon Nee
Gimmick: His singing voice,
that sounds like two chalk slates mating. Even his cigarette sings
—every time he inhaies, its multiple filter whistles "Dixie." 2. Not
Laura Enertia, beach queen. Gimmick: More movable parts than
a Swiss watch. Has a waiting list for crew when she surts. Smokes
Ms. feminist cigaretles—whose taste just msses, too. 3. Not

Bull” Gene Biceps. Gimmick: His waterproof makeup. Doesn't

the кипе Filters smoker?

21974 В. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.

always hold arms thal way—this morning he mistook spray starch
for his underarm deodorant. Smokes his fa! cigars down so far,
the ashes drop behind his teeth. 4. No. He's Tyrone Shulace, beach |

pest. The ''58" stands for his Т.О. (He thinks "offshore drilling”
is something the Marines do.) Smokes Ний 'N Puff superfillered
cigarettes, You have to draw so hard, an art diploma comes
with them. 5. Right. He enjoys the beach, not the beach crowd.
Needs no fads or gimmicks in his cigarette, =
either. Camel Filters. Honest tobacco. Good, $
rich flavor, 6. Unidentified frying object.

Camel Filters. CAM EL

They're not for

Warning. The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking 15 Dangerous to Your Health.

[ыле хожа ба ес уол. | вс —

19 mg "tar" 13 mg. nicotine av. per cigerente, FTC Report MAR. 7.

PLAYBOY

218

obscenity busts, four blind news dealers
were also charged and arrested. We were
sent to the Tombs prison in New York
and placed in а 12-0у-10 cell with 40
other people, most of them junkies. Guys
were peeing against the walls, nodding
out and puking over people lying on the
floor. When I saw this blind news dealer,
who was being held for selling my paper,
tapping his way with his сапе toward the
only urinal, I wanted to roll up and float
away. J felt such compassion

this man. Later, the charges
Dlind dealers were thrown ow
was obv

us that they had no way of
knowing what they were selling.

PLAYBOY: If you did go to jail for any
length of time, how would your sexual
needs be taken care of? Would you start
making it with fellow convicts?

GOLDSTEIN: 1 would hope so. I would prob-
asexual. Pm sure Га
get very bored with solitary masturl
tion. I could see myself avoiding sex with
others lor two weeks at the most, and
then it would be cither а padded cell or
reaching out for а guy—whether it be ac-
tive, passive or both.
PLAYBOY: 15 that just
fantasies, or 1

nother one of your
ге you actually partic
pated in homosexual relationships?
GOLDSTEIN: Well, I don't know if this
counts, but I once wrote about my expe-
ences theater where you can
get blow jobs. It's a sleazy joint in
York frequented only by men. Nobody
looks at the films, but up in the balcony
you can find whatever sex you want.
Some guys are on their knees and others
are standing up; those on their knees
want to suck cock and the others want to
get blown. It was weird. People 1 thought
ight be cops—in suits and vests, crew.
cuts and wedding rings—were suck
cock. Guys in Icather—Marlon Brando
types, toughtooking guys ГА avoid on
the these were the effeminate
ones. They would generally be the cock-
suckers—or I was their cocksuckce.
PLAYBOY: So you didn't just observe and
report?
GOLDSTEIN: No, I participated. One guy
who blew me was an old man who took
his teeth out first. It was fantastic, better
than Linda Lovelace. Most guys are bet-
ter cocksuckers than nyway.
Nine out of ten blow jobs in the theater
re superior, ‘cause the guys are really into
it. You come and another guy steps in,
like a mass-production line. Over several
hours, some of these guys cin blow as
many as 80 or 90 guys. As for myself, I'm
still very conditioned to the fact that ho-
mosexuality is a no-no. But I keep think-
ng ahead to when and if I my first
homosexual experience. It might be hard.
to deal with.
PLAYBOY: How would you describe what
Е to you in the theater И it
a homosexual experience?

a movi

streer

women,

GOLDSTEIN: И was, absolutely. But Т feel
that as long as I'm passive, it's incom-
plete.

PLAYBOY: Thats hairsplii
GOLDSTEIN: At least it’s pubic hairsplitting.
Actually, D think bisexuality is much
more than being committed to
being а heterosexual or a homosexu
Bisexuality is as natural as driving dillei
entcolor cars. H 1 was renting from Avis
or Henz, it would be silly to express a
preference only for black cars.

PLAYBOY: We've bi
about bisexual chic. Is there any genu
evidence of increased publie acceptance
of bisexuality?
GOLDSTEIN: Oh, уе
year’s Hula-H
nomenon becomes es
world, slick mag;
rush an article into print.
magazines will pick it up and the activity
becomes more acceptable. So you soon
е what amounts to 1- ull line
prophecy. But when a sexual phenom-
enon finally makes the news magazines
like Time, it’s probably about т
and wither away. By the time the big
magazines move their asses, the picture
covered has already changed. If you w
to find out. what's really happet
have to read Screw. Or ask n
PLAYBOY: You mentioned а wl
your ten
scenity. What were the grounds for the
other one?

sane

is this
op craze. When some phe

blished in the ses
ly
‘Then other

ines will gene

that
ob-

le а

nine ol rests were

GOLDSTEIN: That was my most dram
rest, the only one that’s be
n. J was charged wi

uic
seen on tele-
h conspiracy in
volving pedophilia: erotic con-
duit and a child. When
myscll
nother obscenity arrest.
t thing Г know there's TV c as,
п handeulfed and I'm involved with
this ring of baby fuckers. Its head had
been selling photos of himself, in the
classified section of Screw, getting blow
jobs hom his threeand-a-hali-year-old
амеша Many people still think 1 was
а participant or had knowledge of what
was happening. Which I didn't,
nocuously offered photos of preteen-
agers for sale. It that sex
would take place. Any
hassle, we were found guilty of accepting
an obscene ad and we were fined 57000.
ad can be obscene, I don't know.
rre as pedophilia is—and personal-
ly 4 find it ugly—l still think people have
the right to buy photos of cight-ycar-olds
t to. The problem is when
moves into the area of action, because an
eight-year-old can't evaluate a sexual over-
ture. The pedophilia arrest was the first
one where my mother called and asked
whether Г was really involved.
PLAYBOY: What does she think of Screw?
GOLDSTEIN: 1 don't think she understands

v
а case
tact between an
1 was told 10 tu
assumed it w

оне day, 1

The ad

it. In the ез
paper

s, she was listed in the
ger, because Т
e to have a Jew

ly di
business
would be ni

ish mother on the masthead. After we
had done an antice on J- Edgar Hoover's
being а faggot, she was subpoenaed by a

d jury. She didn’t particularly mind
АН she asked was that Г pay for her
cab fare. She knows what I'm doing and
she’s h as long as Em not pushing
drugs. Even if Гы being arrested or
handculls, she Гес at least I'm important
PLAYBOY: And y the
GOLDSTEIN: He keeps writing to district a
worneys to. leave ше alone, My mother
keeps wanting to picket thi
to ignore it, that this is just a pol
volving door. In а way, Fm being per
cuted in the same way that Lenny Bruce
was P frequently identity with Lenny.
He also was compulsive, he had a wi
problem and yet deep down was a good
Jewish boy who wanted 10 be loved and
respecied. Не used fowrleuer words as
shock weapons in protest against. estab-
lished ideas about language and sex the
same way 1 do. But | would never be
found dead in a bathroom with а needle
in my Га be surrounded by 11
empty Baskin-Robbins containers оп the
floor—proof that Т had eaten. myself 10
death, Like Lenny, the kind of message
I'm trying to get acioss is so anti-clitist, so
guttruthful. so distasteful that there is
no way it could have come їп through
the hont door. We both had to come in
through the servants entrance.

Like Lenny, Гус never had much use
for veligivus institutions either. I could
d why the Church want-
ed to jail him for using the word mother
fucker. Nor can | comprehend why the
me Clinch people want 10 put ше
way and run my news dealers out of
business. И you look at our editorials in
the early issues of Screw, you'll see where
Fm atticking the Churdh all the time
їз the most repressive force
ery. It's survived, but thank С
ers have decreased. Most Catholics know
из bullshit, and hence ignore its words
on abortion, birth contol and all the
rest. But it’s still there, making money
For me, the Church is the enemy.
PLAYBOY: Do you believe in God?
GOLDSTEIN: 1 believe theres. something,
but 1 dont know what itis. E guess Ги
an agnostic. However, 1 did list God on
the masthead es ак
Screw's spiri e
God. I thought He'd he happy to get rep-
resentation. If there’s a God, I'm sure
He's jerkin’ off 10 енеди, As а matter of
fact, if I hadn't decided to specialize in
degeneracy with Screw, 1 might have be-
come a rabbi.

PLAYBOY: Why?
GOLDSTEIN: So I could really make a profit

оп degeneracy.

never underst

in our soci-
d its pow-

in our

“Honestly, Irving

sometimes I think you like salami with
pickles, ketchup and Tabasco more than you like me!”

219

PLAYBOY

220

STALL VISIONS continued jron page 151)

beasts of Jericho, here even before us.
His thoughts are of the waters of crea-
tion, blown into fragments. Jack says to
him, Well, now, Old Buddy, did I hurt
yore head?

It’s about time we stole a car, or went
with somebody who did. We do, and rob
а little bank. We cross а state line with
our boy, Junior Spruill, get sentenced
nd go to the Atlanta Pen with him. We

leave any time, but he can't, and
h the good old Wilkesboro,
boy to

we stay w
North Carolin:
pens. He just
holdup money to put
overhead engine. He talks to himself all
the time à about Cale
arborough, Richard Petty, Donnie Alli
son. The Pen people make him shave off
ideburns and work in the laundry
where he talks to himself, talks to us all
the time.

Ever tell you about the first time T got

n a double-cam

bout stock. cars.

caught? 1 was running these country cops
crazy. I knew every damned back road in
every county, and the ways in and out of
"ern, and the ways to cross the highways
from one to the other. They just couldn't.
catch me in the county. My mistake was
to rob one country bank in a little old
town in Tennesee and th
over here and wy my first city job. 1
looked all over town for a branch bank I
found one in a shop-
ed my car and stuck
my cap pistol in my pocket. I buy those
things at Woolworth’s. The Government
makes you fancy ‘em up with a lot of curl-
icues and junk, so people'll know they're
just for kids. Bui—lisien here—you can
take and file that stuff ой. That's wl

come on

do. and then dve the gun black. 1 never
se when you lay
(d pull
nd

use an automatic, bee

that thing up on the counter
that hammer on a revolver back,
they see that cylinder turn. around,
does something 10 'em, Anyway, I went

“The formula for the special ingredient has been a closely
kept family secret for generations.”

into Kroger’s and got а couple of candy
bars so I could have the paper sack, and
went into the bank with my cap pis-
шу co: "D have по

under

k that hammer she started
ey in with both hands—but
ne 1 got to the door, some-
} with

just about t
body had an idea Г was getti

su
1 got to my car, damned И a lady wada't
I with a car where they'us
nd a police dog and no
ma. 1 turned. around, and а squad
car was pulling up. T heard the sireen of
another one, and I reckoned the be:
thing would be to try to get into one of
the big department. storcs and ride the
elevators around just like | used to ride
back county roads: You know. cor
m. 1 figured to get in the back w
so E started down an alley right next to
the nearest big store. But the damned
door only opened toward the outside,
nd when I looked back they was abo
three squads of cops coming down the
alley, carrying riot guns, rifles, tear ga
bilies. pistols, God knows whatall! And
there I was, down to my last roll of
And I will tell you. I do believe to this
day that if Pd'a had another roll, I
сопка scattered the whole bunch.
Goodbye, Junior Spruill. We're going
through the Great Gray Wall as though
it were nothing but damp, unpleasa
fog. Goodbye and get out. Let's go [or
those country ro Firecracker 500.

two litde girls

Here is the Other Rive
sissippi, but something observed
from the position of a butterlly on а
stone. The water is too dangerous for you
not to have given yourself а way out that
has nothing to do with water. This is an
Appalachian mountain river in the fall,
in the afternoon. The stone is a big.
smooth boulder where the North C:

a river falls out of the i
such fury that all systems of thought are
made impossible. The white water crash-
ез continually on all sides, and a delicate,
i spray fills the idal and
exciting air. On cach side of the river are
deep woods, and through the haze of
water is a борса, who understands why
this place is like it is.

not the Mis-
est

гу with
pine tees. 7 s Kennesaw
Mountain, where Joe Johnston held off
Sherm: my for wecks. We come in
like a widescreen film camera on
man in a t. dimbing up pine.
straw-covered ground. There was plenty
of fighting here, over 100 years ago.
md Joshua Hawkins comes here to hear
the singing. It is for his cars and no oth-
ers, for he is seeking out, with a World
War Two-vintage mine detector, the
War under the Pine Straw. Hear, now,
the beginnings of a metallic scream. It i

ИЕ OUT DEBTS

Medie EM ARTISAN

Report tells how to, get $500 to $2 million. Small
Joans easy. 2.018 offers, Special consultant helps you.

SEND мә мому — LET EREE такони TION
НАПОНА. COUNSELOR REPORTS Div. 76__ Kermile Texas 78026

Day GLO ини. BUMPER STICKERS
СЕТ ENOUGH FOR ALL YOUR FRIENDS!
Steach— 6 for 55 — 15 for S10 POSTAGE FREE?

Scd Check er MO te ATLANTA BUMPER STICKERS
BQ bunting ATLANTA QA 2

MAY @

oul
HAVE A WORD
WITH YOU?

The word is "GIVE." Give a
friend a one-year
subscription to OUI for just
$10. Send your check, and
your friend's name and
address, to:

e
oul

Dept. 9548
919 М, Michigan Ave.
Chicago, Illinois 60611

For the Key
to a world of
entertainment,
see page 197.

STi M U LA LIKE HUNDREDS

DF TINY FINGERS URGING A WOMAN
TO LET 60.

The fantastic new condom with specially ribbed
surface . . . to satisly her as well zs yourself.
The greater contact provided by "МИА

arouses the utmost in pleasure. It also pro-
tects you both. Over one million of these
Yophylactis already sold in Sweden and
France. Made in USA. lo Federal Standards

ORDER SAMPLER PACK IH PRIVACY BY MAIL

STAMFORD HYGIENIGS INC. Dot, 63.

114 Manhattan Street, Stamlord, Conn. 06904
Gentlemen: Please send me: (Check box)

1 $3 sampler pack of 12 “Stimula”

E Я. for sampler pack of 3 "Stimula

Free catalog sent with either crier. Descibes new pro-
Dhylaeics, some in extiling color

check cash

M.D. enclosed)

cd RE

City, State. Zip.
РРР РРР РРРРРРУРРРРРРРРТРТТ,

№

louder as we approach part of an old
breasuwork. "The eye moves forward from
Joshua Hawkins and picks out a place on
the ground. In slow motion, a surplus
Army foxhole- and kurinedigging shovel
strikes d War shrieks un-
. Hands go into the hole, and а

sted cannonball is laboriously
and tenderly lifted out. Cradling the
unexploded shell, he heads back for
Аана, down the way that Sherman took

Beer. A little, isolued country juke
joint. Two young men in a booth.

How come? one asks.

I told him Гиз gonna do it, if he didn't
keep from messin’ around with her. |
told him twice't. He didn’t pay no 'ten-
tion to me. I went on home and got my
shotgun.

You're
gonna come

у. J- W. Hi
ter you. So a

people are
e hers.

I just walked up to the window.
“us d e dancin’, Just them two.
. Look out chere, Lonnie. Mary

Frances hollered and backed off. I just
want both of you to see who done it, I
said, and let drive with both Бан. I
throw'd the gun in the car and come
right on downtown to the sheriff's office.

What's gonna happen now?

1 don't know. And I don’t care. But Га
do it again. Wish't I could. I'd like that

Another
derground.

city. Colfechouse night, un-

An old black man tunes th

only new guitar he's ever owned. His

iscoverer says Aren't you nervous,

John? All your life you've been playing
jd hands.

nows good

music rybody wound Teoc

and Avalon—them Delta boys—they

knows what's goin’ on when а man picks
guitar,

. I mean, these people are dif.

re even maybe a few music

there in the audience. And

nervous, this first time? Not

down

"re not
all?
Nawsuh.
knows

I knows what I knows. I
nd I been knowing it.

We nest among
membranes sense

the snakes. Their
something and they
strike throi The box opens and
hand reaches in, picking up two sn.

ad us with them. The rattles are c
like June bugs, and we
up the bare arm of Ше worst
slide in bewildered fury and coil around
neck. Süll striking at us, still ham-
mering their heads against phantoms,
they use the preacher's body as the base
from which to strike at the Angels, at
Ghosts, at the of Jericho. The
preacher takes us in his mouth, to
show more faith. The snakes begin to
speak a flickering language, and talk
of the River Jordan,

gh us.

Coors Buckie

brass plated
belts. Only $4.95.
Add $1.00 for Postage
$4.95 (specify size)

most challenging
sport.

All Back

lues of PLAYBOY

From first issue (Vol. 1, No. 1)
10 present issues. Send
$1.00 for complete price
list. Your $100 is re-
funded on first order.

азм.

Clints Book Store, 3943-P Main. Kansas City. Mo. 64111

How to start off
the holiday season?
See page 43.

AVE ON

Brand Name Audio
Components

Write Today for Our FREE
Wholesale Audio Catalog

"OIXIE, one of the largest stereo wholesalers, filis
your orders at prices sctuslly LOWER than "Dis.
Counters". See our exciting пен Wholesale Price
Catalog, or write tor quotes. Choose the famous
brand stereo equipment and accessories yeu do-
sire, Everything shipped tactory-sealod,

KOSS

DIXIE HI FI WHOLESALERS
id St., N.E., Washington, О.С. 20011

Н
Н

| казе rush me you FREE Vinolesale дово Catalog
| апа complete mormation | understand Mere is по
| obioaton

| Мате
Н
Н

Address
City

State — Zip.
09

221

PLAYBOY

222

light in the cottage

iably, "can also absorb the
‚ the mother's fears, the

went оп ami

mother's tensio
mother's rage—

“Please excuse me,” said Pauline, hur-
riedly rising. Her face was pale in the
candlelight. For а moment she swayed,
her finger tips pressed to the surface of
the table. Carl got up quickly and went
around to her. Then she left the veranda,
ng into the house, Carl following he

‘The other guests stirred in sympathetic
concern. Even Professor MeKetwick
seemed to divine that all was not well.

George МеКецгіск excused himself
and sought Carl out, with apologies, “My
God, Carl" he said. “I'm terribly sorry
about this. I should have said something
to Ralph beforehand. but Га forgotten
all about i

"She's rest
all righ

he'll be

g. Don't worry
few m Ca
was wan ace was tightly
d "I dowt think it was the subject
itself. George—not only that, anywa
125 mostly just being back here
thought that after all d
be all right. but >
spairing gesture. "И you wouldn't mind
making our excuses, George, we'll just
slip out the side way.”

But Pauline regained her self-posses-
d insisted on making a reappear-
се. Poised and smiling, she made her
»dbye rounds, ex she was

wn.

He made a de-

subject t0 mi laches, which
me on without any warnil
At the car, Carl told her: "We don't

have to go back, you know." It was at the

(continued [rom page 80)

cottage that she had fallen and miscar-
ried. "We can take a room at the inn
right here in the village. and then tomor-
row we can drive down to Boston."

Pauline shook her head. "No." she said
quietly. "That would be cowardly. Of
course we'll go back to the cottage."

“Are you sure?

"Absolutely su
the car.
you?”

"Of course. Front amd back. Don't
worry, Pauline. It's locked tight."

But when they returned to the cottage.
they saw that the light in the spare bed-
room was on.

Pauline sucked in her
clutched Carl's sleeve. He
front door. “It’s still locked," he
tered. "Wait here a minute." He went
round to the back, glancing in at the
windows as he passed them. "The back
Чоогу locked, 100,7 he told her when he
And Ies
He unlocked the front door and
Pau n the

E
You did lock both doo

а
the
mut-

breath
tested

returned. nobody's inside.

муг

entered.

nation of the windows and the two doors.
There was no evidence of a forced entry.
МЇ the windowpanes were in The
nd doorjambs were
“АП right," Carl said finally. "There
are only two ways of getting into this cot-
tage when its locked, without breaking
in,” Pauline looked at him question
ly key,” he said. “No,”
t suspect Mr. Fowles.” Mr

added, “I

"Check your dip stick?"

Fowles, the caretaker, was the only other
person who had a key. “But someone
might have taken his key without h
knowledge and had it copied,” Carl said.
The answer to that is to have the locks
changed.”
You sa
ting in

Сай smiled wryly. "Well. . . there's
the chimney.” He went to the hearth and
squatted, peering up the opening. “The
flue is open. It's pretty narrow, (оцу
The only thing that could get down 1
way would be a squirrel or a bird... a

there were two ways of get-

uline shuddered, thinking of a bat
about the darkened cottage,
ing a way out, and brushing against
a light switch.

‘OF course, a bat or a bird would leave
excrement,” Carl went on thoughtfully
“So would a squirrel, probably, and we
haven't fou But the thing to do
block the flue the way Mr. F.

board be-
irst ГИ

up the
"Oh, God, don't do th
line. She had a vision of some scorched
ag writhing in the embers.
Well, all st block it," Carl
“No time like the present” h
ng over to the wood box and
lifting the board. “And then
TIE get busy arranging for the locks to be
changed."

tomorrow

By the time they next went out for the
there were new locks on the
The window latches had be
checked, too,
ие.

doors.

nd the win-
= securely, and
locked the doors. He also put tiny slips of
bs. Иа
r were opened, the paper would fall
out or slide down to the hinge, providing
nootlied
some sand on the doorsteps, to obtain
footprints. Sti

Гаме

paper low down in the do

th satisfaction. “Beyond
псе cannot go,” he re

dy starting down the
won't find апу foot

you say He caught up
h her and took her arm, annoyed.

She shook off his hand and went si-
dently down the rest of the way. “I'm
sorry, Carl." she said as he opened the car
door for her. “I's just nerves. Please
don't mind what | say." She looked back
up the rise. The cottage was hidden, but

the jagged curve of
against the sunset sky

teps showed dark
"s go back and

throw the г

з power switch,” she said.

"Then we'd lose the light out on the
steps." he objected, starting the eng
"Besides, it's simply a matter. of takin
precautions. Гуе covered every possibil
ity this time.”

She made no reply but sat brooding by
his side as he drove into the village.

It was midnight when they returned

Carl hurried up the steps.

"I don't want to see it,” Pauline said
suddenly. She stopped before reaching
the turning and sit down on one of the
steps

Carl went on without her. “Look.” he
called down to her exultantly, "the cot-
tage is dark! What did I tell you?”

She got to her feet and slowly mounted
the steps while he inspected the sinded
doorsteps with his pocket flashlight and
verified the unch

ed positions of the

slips of р:

"It work " he announced

returning from the back of the house.
“Both doors are the same. Nobody went
inside. 1 can guarantee that, Pauline.
Come on." She joined him at the front
door as he put the key in the lock, turned
it and opened the door

This time the light in the living room
was on

“Oh,

God." 1 muttered. The

shutters had blocked the light from the
outside. He'd forgotten about that. Pau
line, behind him in the doorway, һа
made a choked little cry. "Anybody here:
Carl called out, his voice brittle. He made
a hurried search of the place, but, as
usual, he found nothing out of place and
no sign of entry

Lers go away from here," she said,
her voice trembling, her cyes wide. “We

know what it is now. Let that be
enough."

We don't know," Carl snapped.
owe talking nonsense, Pauline." He
paced about the room, trying to master
his agitation. Then he turned to her
more calmly. "There's no reason for you
to stay here. ГИ put you on the noon

train tomorrow."

She looked at him with vague alarm.
"Me? What about you

I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
he said. “There's one answer left and I
intend to prove it out. It’s the lights.
There's got to be something wrong with
the lights. ‘That fellow from the village
didn't find it—but that just means he
wasn't competent

Tomorrow I'm going
10 phone Boston and get am absolutely

first-rate electrician to come up here, and

then we'll see—or | will. anyway. You'll
be back home tomorrow night
"No." she said dully. “М you're

staying.
Fault t

ГИ stay, too.
n yours.

it was more my

to do with it. You know that.

refusing to ent
halfclosed and her
tight in a stra
us wanted i
dered.
did."

10 her
into the room. He slammed the door.
"What's past is past!”

said, did
to a d
Cul" She giggled.
saying

member?" he said slowly. “

He frowned at her. “That has nothing

She was still standing in the doorway,
the room. Her eyes were
mouth was drawn
ge little smile. “Neither of
she said, and she shud

We both

“We wanted it dead

Stop this, Pauline.”
“We murdered и. And now
“You've got to stop!” He strode across
seized her wrist and pulled her

"You heard what Georges brother
t you?” She let him guide h
ir. “Is smarter than we are,
“Whats the old

"The one about the wise child?

Don't you re-
It's a wise

He looked at her coldly

child that knows its own father."

“Oh—I'd forgotten. I didn't mean

that.” She slumped in the chair. pressing
her h:

nds to her face. “I'm ... I'm sorry
1
Never

went to а window à

mind." Hc turned

Druptly

nd opened it,
They could

ng the shutters wide

hear the wind in the pines on the north
side of the cottage and the rhythmic slap-

g of the waves down below. From far

away came the cry of an owl, hunting

“Wey

ot to pull ourselves together,”

Remember. Before you say “Tequil

Ina marvelous Margarita,
a super Sunrise
or maybe just daringly straight...
nothing compares with
Smooth Olé Tequila.
It’s got that Mexican spirit.

TA if OLE MARGARITA:
| 14 ozs. Olé Tequila
^1! 1% ozs. Triple Sec
=! Y oz. Lemon or Lime Juice
| Shake well with ice
and strain into
sall-rimmed cocktail glass

a; always say “Olé”

PLAYBOY

he said in an unsteady voice. He didn't

look at her. “It's an clecuical. problem.

"That's all it is. An electrical problem."
“And if it isn't? id softly.

He made no

The Boston electrician arrived two aft-
emoons later, Carl followed him around
as he inspected the wiring and the
switches

"Nothing wrong with any of it, Mr.
Days." the man said finally.

There must be. I told you wha
pened. You must b

t hap-
some-

e missed

Took,” the man said. "А switch is a
switch. and when it’s off, it's off. I don't
go on by itself. These switches are good
switches, understand? And the wiring is
OK. The guy who put it in, he knew his
stult.”
IE you went hack ove
“I could check it a hundred times, it
wouldn't make no difference, but ГИ do
t once more just to satisfy you
Fhe clectrician’s second.
check of the system finished wi
same conclusi

rw
Сай kept зоатіп,

fuming. “The only th
gotten in would be
tered, stooping to inspect 1h
along the kitchen wall. "But
ции on fights. А snake, maybe. Or a cat.
There must be wild cats around her
He approached Pauline, who was s
lisilessly on the sofa. "You
lage tor

ий

1s
go into the vil-
You cani stay with

going to find out.
t does i а for all. Ther
some rational explanation. Probably а
simple one.” There was a roll of thunder
ar out at sea. “It’s going
he said, resuming his restless
"ГИ drive you in to George's.
е back and wait, There's
id of," he added, glanc-
g at her defensively, “but you'll be bet-
n the village.
id. "TI stay. t00.” He pro
tested this. but she wouldn't change her
nd. "I'll stay." she kept saving. Her
mner was apathetic and resigned and
she seemed withdrawn, Only when the
thunder boomed closer and the lightning
Mashed did she raise her eyes.

“Weill make it look as though we've
Carl said. "We'll drive the car up
the road a hundred yards or so and park
g the trees. Then well walk back
ий wait. АШ righi?”
made no response.

“We'll sit here—right here—with the
lus off,” he said.

once "s

n the distance, f:
10 storm,

othing to be af

she s:

one,

xcept for the onc
down the steps.

“And then?
"Il find out.

"Do yo she
id quietly.

"Of course 1 do.

"You know already.”

He turned awa
Let's go,” he said.

By the time they had. hidden the car
nd the screen of trees and were walk-

really want to know?

impati

tly.

ing back, the sky was darkening r

and the first drops of r:
patch of s

n wei

ig clouds.
stormed that ni
y were climbing the steps.

No, it didn’t.” he said. and then he
caught himself, “Don't talk about thia
he told hi

ayway- The steps were

wer
He unlocked the front door. The cot-
ark. He swung his llashlight

am about the living room. "You sit on
the sofa, Pauline. FH take this chair. And
we'd beuer not ralk. That might sp
things.

"lt won

Be q
were lost in à burst of thunder that broke
bove the cottage. In the lightning that
flared through the unshuttered window:
he saw her [ace livid and distorted. her
eyes staring.

Tell me, Carl,
ck me—"
Don't" he said.

“When you struck me, which one did
you want to ki
Oh. God." he munered.

“Was it me , .. or it? Or bot!
7E didit want to kill апу
"I didn't know what I was

she said, “When you

str

doing.”
И you hadw't hit me, I wouldn't have
fallen.”
H wasn’t my child.” he shouted. Again

ov exploded. Her white Tace
c and swiftly faded, and they
dy in the darkness as the rain beat
1 the roof and the shutters hummed
» the wind.

Then the center of the storm passed
nd the rain slackened. "Listen," she
whispered. but the only sound was the
rain. Then that, too, died away. He
could hear her breathing and his own.
His chest was tight and he was perspir
ing, alihough the night was cool. “Lis-
she whispered c swung 1
here
ng ve

bout, strai
" he heard her s;
and he tensed. i

g 1o see
in a sha
“Irs here,
aware of a shape in
knes, something he sensed
sand he stood, grippit
Hasblight tightl
The front door opened.

rshly. He flicked
m that

ice

It was P;
t

iline. She had gotten to her
nd gone to the door,

“Lea d и.” she sa
here in this room-
Don't be an idiot!"

105 here right now!"

“There's nothing heres he shou
flashing the beam around the empty
room. When he swung it back to the
doorway. she was gone.

He cursed and went to the doorway. She
hurrying down the steps. “Pauline!”
He siared down the steps. Somethin
wrong. The lamp at the turning was off
Then he heard her cry ош. and as he
pointed his flashlight beam down the
steps. he realized that she had. missed her
footing. She had vanished.

y WAS

Pauline!” He descended the steps
quickly. sweeping the beam from side 10

Pauline!

side. He stopped ai the т
ing. For a few moments he listened. bu
all he could hear wa i
against the rocks. “P:

п bur there was

the be

waves

cried

He went to the edge and po
flashlight down.

He saw her sprawled on ihe rocks, 30
fect below. Each br wave sent
spray washing over her.

He ran. back up to the сонаве. The
telephone was just inside the door, the
of emergency numbers ticked to the wall
above it A flick of the flashlight: was
enough t0 pick out the one he wanted.
His voice, as he spoke, was racked by
gasping sobs. “Ни
“And bring rope. For €
forget the rope.

As he was starting down the steps
n. he remembered the clothestine and
round to the back to get it. frami-
ly pulling it loose Irom its fastenings.

He hurried down to the turning and
looped the line around the kimppost,
g it again and again. He flashed
п down. The free end of the linc
gled near the rocks where she lay m
rionless beneath the driving spray
one last glance up at the dark
couage. he cased himself over the edge
nd started down. The line held. Ir was
the slippery cliflside thi yed him.
His feet lost their pu i
ids slid scorchingly along the 1
he fell.

у. hurry," he said.

d's sake, don't

The police had no dillicul on
structing the sequence of events in which
Pauline and Carl Bays met their deaths
There was the telephone call, the clothes-
ne tied to the Гашрроч and the two
bodies close together on the rocks. The
fact that the cottage was brightly, rium
phantly iuminated—all the lights were
on in every room—scemed of no particular

cance and was not mentioned in the

official report.

“L can cross the street by myself, sonny. How'd you
like to help me get through the night?”

225

PLAYBOY

226

CRAZY GINZBURG

Ralph Ginzburg, that brandied fruitcake of
a publisher, is at it again.

First he devilishly exposed the intimate
parts of Fanny Hill and Lady Chatterley to a
blushing America while those erotic classics
were still banned.

Then he bought himself a $2-million libel
suit by daring to question Barry Goldwater's
psychological fitness to finger the nuclear trig-
ger when Gold water was running for President.

Next, with his muckraking magazine Fact,
he risked the wrath of the mighty by attacking.
Detroit (for building, cars that were not crash-
worthy; this was before Ralph Nader). drug
manufacturers (for selling cyclamates which
had been proven to cause chromosome dam-
age), and the tobacco industry (for attempting.
to hide the link between cigarettes and cancer;
this was before the Surgeon-General’s report).

Still on the rampage, he brashly waved a red
flag in the faces of prudes and bigots by run-
ning a photographic study of a nude interracial
couple in his elegant quarterly Fros (this bit of
lunacy won him numerous graphic-art awards
-and eight months in prison).

In no way “rehabilitated,” he turned to the
field of consumerism and set it on its ear with
his hugely successful, greed-gratifying news-
letter. Moncysworrh, in which he published
such bawdy, ond useful, articles as "A Con-
Sumer s Guide to Prostitution.”

Now at the peak of his madness, Ginzburg
is about to come out with the wildest, most
enticing,exasperating, you-can'tlive-without-it
periodical of his career: Avant-Garde Biweekly.

This dynamite tabloid newspaper will com-
pletely demolish all preconceptions of what a
tabloid newspaper should be. И will be as
irrepressible, ingenious, sensual and thorough-
ly mad-as Ginzburg himself.

Drawing upon the talents of the most bril
liant artists, writers, photographers and још
nalists of our day (see list below). he will pro-
duce a paper of incredible power that prints
high-compression news, pantsdown profiles,
\d-searing photographs, nc-bull edito
turn-'em-over-n-theirgraves obituaries, sy:
tem-beating consumer tips, last-laugh politic:
cartoons, kissof-death reviews of cin
books and theatre, hash-pipe fiction and

-out-and-frame-it illustra-

poetry, and eai

tions. Avant-Garde is going to be one of

those things you
say you've seen it. Ай

Just look at this list of the kinds of far-out
articlesand features Avant-Garde will print:
ае
Gerald Ford's Devotion to the Teachings of
Mao Tse-Tung--Based on actual quotes.
The U.S.'sPlan to Grow Opium
Is Cancer Contagious?—Startling new facts.
Coming: Psychiatrie Screening for Presidents
Bella Abzug's Crazy New $2 Bill
Inflation-Proof Bonds: Another Bright Idea
from George MeGovern
Psychic Castration: Vasectomy's A ftermath
A Day for a Lay—First publication of the late
W.H, Auden's long-suppressed erotic masterpiece.
Kennedy vs. Nader: A Preview of the "76
Democratic Convention.
Early Simon, James Taylor, and Baby Sarah: A
Family Album
The Book that Terrifies the CIA
“The Way We Were": Drawings by John
Lennon—Of himself and Yoko Ono.
The Personal Political Convictions of Chan-
cellor, Reazoner, and Cronkite
California's Coed Monastery
Unde Sam at 200—412 notables (including Otto
Preminger, Dr. Albert Sabin, Cleveland Amory,
Раш Krassner, and Marshal! MeLuhan) offer
suggestions for celebrating America's Forth-
coming bicentennial.

Pot Bust—The discovery by Boston surgeons
M.S. Aliapoulis and John Harmon that heavy
use of marijuana тау cause gynecomastia

“development of female breasts in men-
Nixon’ FreudianSlips—A nhilarious collection.
The Zeppelin Will Rise Again- y experts

discovering that, fuet wise, Wis One of the
most efficient conveyances ever devised.

Golda Meir's Recipe for Gefilte Fi
The 108-Ycar-Old Pilot

Pre-Mortem—28 celebrities (includ ing Federico
Fellini, Art Buchwald, Woody Allen, and Gore
Vidal) write their own obituaries.

Howard Hughes' Plan to Mine the Ocean Floor

They May Have to Eat Their Words—The
Army's Natick Laboratory claims it is on the
Verge of developing edible newspaper.

Caroline Kennedy 's Sensitive Photography

egor to see just to be able to

Hunter S. Thompson: The Counter-Culture's
Gonzo Journalist.

The Shah of Iran's Reliance upon Dream Inter-
pretation in Governing His №

After the Wankel, the Stiding—A report on the
engine of the "8057

Down by the Riverside—A report on folk singer
Pete Secger's successful one-man crusade to
clean up the Hudson.

This Crumb is No Milktoast—
hip world's courageous, outras
cartoonist Robert Crumb.

Arthur Miller's Next
Down Strike—Protest plans of the Commit-
tee to End Pay Toilets in America.
————J

Asyou reading Avant-Garde will be
like being plugged in to a fantastic inter-
galactic brain that eluts the information- and
pleasure-centers of your mind.

Avant-Garde boasts the most formidable
list of contributors ever gathered by a ре
Odical Among them are: Andy Warhol.
Peter Мах. Norman Mailer. Dick Gregory.
Charles Schulz, Allen Ginsberg, Sloan Wilson,
Roald Dahl. Dan Greenburg, Melvin Belli. Kurt
Vonnegut, William Styron. C.P. Snow, Jerry
Rubin, Joyce Carol Oates, Isaac Asimov. Ken-
neth Tynan, Cleveland Amory, Richard
Avedon, Herb Gold, William Burroughs, Jame
Baldwin, Alexander Calder, Каас Bashevis
wer, William Bradford Ни. Cornell Capi.
alvador Dali, and Muhammad Аһ

In format, Avant-Garde is « попрагей. Its
dramatic layout, innovative typography. and
lush color will take your breath away. Under
the inspired art direction of Herb Lubalin, the
world’s foremost designer of publications.
Avant-Garde will raise the tabloid newspaper to
а new art form.

Avant-Garde is available by subscription
only. The cost of six months is ONLY $5! This
is a MERE FRACTION of what you pay now-
adays for such a dynamite periodical.

What's more, if you order right now, you
e a Charter Subscriber. This means that

* You'llalwaysbe able to buy Avant-Garde
at lowest available rate

е You'll be entitled to buy gift subscrip-
tions at the same low ratezand,

= Your subscription will start with Volume
1. Number 1. This is not to be taken lightly
since first issues of Crazy Ginzburg s other pub-
lications now sell for as much as 5200 EACH!

To enter your Charter Subscription, simply
fill out the coupon below and mail it with $5
to: Avant-Garde, 251 W. 57th St., New York.

Mail your check today. Avant-Garde is
going to cause the greatest cultural cataclysm
since the advent of the Ве

AAN i
251 west 57 st. li
СКОБ

1 enclose $5 Юга six-month Charter
Subsa on to Avant-Garde. | under-
stand that Гат paying А MERE FRAC-
TION of the going rate for such а dyna-
mite periodical and that my subscription
will begin with Volume I, Number 1.

SPECIAL CUT-RATE BONUS OFFER:
Check this box С), enclose $9 and you'll
get TWELVE months of Avant-Garde
PLUS а copy of the historic Ralph Ginz-

burg collector's item portfolio
"Picasso 's Erotic Engr

portrait of the
itable

bec

Name

Acaress

State Zip

AVANT-GARDE MCMLXXIV. 24°

FOLLOW-UP: THE HANDWRITING ON THE WALL

In our

August 1971 issue, we pub
lished “The View from Kilroys
Hend,” a collection of strange and
wondrous graffiti recorded by then-
Colonel Irving Breslauer, with Ken
Sams, after years of careful research
in Air Force latrines. The Ай Force
didn't appreciate it. In the months
after the appearance of the article, life
а for Colonel Breslauer; and in

the following short piece, he recalls
how it went for him—and for the
Air Force.

neral gripped the arms of his
Xd peered over the half. glass
es that were perched on the end ol
his nose. He looked over the top
ses whenever he could, ау il

a both sides of the collar, his
tense look. and the knuckle-whitening
ip he had ou his chair was very
intimidating.

Mostly, D wast id of genctals,
but since my article in rrAvnoy had
lished, I had been led to be-
I needed 10 be ой my best
Coupled with a chain of
gling my career,
g made me ner
t 1 pressed on

been pu

Thad just reached the stage where
Twas about to make
when the general coiled i
al forward as
raised his rump .
no ordinary fart. [t was
reer changer. Г could tell by the ex-
pression on his

ble effort

incisive point

ace that he had. put
t. And by

(to

done anh
prol
was used to get
had to raise np to move a recalcitrant
Гатау. that’s what he did. My
presence wasn't even acknowledged,
even though my story cone
very much.

How did circumstances ever. place
me in a position where 1 could be so
demeancd?
ce 1912,
and. faithfully ary service
ol my country. Г was a colonel.
iy first weeks in Vietn:
few orientation trips into the field
Naturally, 1 used whatever facilities
were available, Whether in the senior
officers’ mess at MCAV headquarters

ng unus
bly wasn't unusi

in Saigon or in а makeshift onc-hole
lean-to in the boonies, all the toilets
had one thing in common. People
wrote on the walls.

I began collecting thousands of say-
ings and. cataloging them by subject.
1 then teamed up with a friend and
we sent the best to PLAYBOY.

T was home on leave the week the
cle appeared. The magazine sold
local hero. People
in the village pointed me out to or
another, with the more courageous
(mostly children) asking for auto.
graphs. I was given the best service in
local stores and asked dozens of times.
When do you think you're going to
do another one?"

out and 1 became

But that week proved to be the ze
ny y career, at least for
the time being. The leave was over. 1
had to report for duty. I left my family
in North Carolina and took an air
planc to St. Louis, which was the
dosest city to Scott. Air Force Base,
Illinois, my new duty station

As 1 entered what was scheduled to
be my office, my se y said. “Colo-
the chief of staff wants to sec
you right away." 1 wasu't concerned.
The chief of stiff was а two-star
whom Га known since he was a colo-
nel. He was а friend and 1 had heard
he was one of the people who

nith of liter

had recommended me for this job.
Не probably wanted to say hello.

His secretary announced me and 1
threw him а sharp. e when I

walked into his office.

Sit down, Inv!"

Nothing ominous about that. He
should have siid, "Sit
Lauer,” if he was

“Irv, do you В
write fo

down. Bres-

ad,
ve
AY BOY?"

ives who

"Do you know
ne who writes for
"No, sit.” We wei
1 what we both knew w
Well, then, do you know anythin
ele that appeared in t
month's Mavuoy with a name Eke
yours listed as the authe

"D wrote it, and T guess there's no
sense asking you if you liked it.”

“Irv, several of your old friends rec
ommended you for this job here, and
now this article appears. Hs the talk
of the Pentagon. It doesnt she

yone with your
PLAYBOY?"
v both ying 1

s truc.

w 100
mudh respect for the Air Force or the
Government.”

т. the article just reported what
Gls had written on the walls all over
Viemam. I have given my entire
adult life to the Air Force. I have en-
joyed most of it. If we can't stand to

laugh at ourselves or take a little criti
cism. especially if it is the truth, we're
in trouble.”

“Well, the general is upset by this.
He asked for vou specially and. here
you are with а questionable article in
a girlie m: ad long hair like a
hippie.”

A new
yesterday, and it's wi
“Better get it с
ral sees it. He's n
because of the articl

I guess that’s when 1 started to get
out of the Air Force. Forty-eisht years
d. a colonel, married, with colleg

children, just back from Vietr
where Thad been on the u
seling our leaders
programs th

tack. “

» my hair cut
egulations."
ain before the

bout infor

1 would become па

policy—and 1 w checked. for

haircut length by a two-star general
The baber knew Thad just gotten

as bi

а haircut and thought it was hysteri-
cal. “Did you really come to get your
hair cut again, or to check and sce il

your article was here?”
"Just cut. it exactly

ike you do the

йине. Hell,
t the day before.

Thirty minutes
the barber's с After all, Irv." the
general had said, "you do represent the
command. You don't need white side
walls like me, but.

Three haircuts in 24 hours
Air Force record. Pm sure. When I fì-
nally mer the bos, he didn't siy а
word. but for the next ten months 1
took my du

aps wherever T went

пет

erybody had s g to say abou
the article: “Did you get that article
cleared by Defense, or did you do all
your shithouse resea

а novel.” Such are the perils of fame
the Air Force.

My commanding: oflicer—the
never direerly re
Vm told he
ed. And I'm not
sure why, but his mindless act tied
the bow in the ribbon that wrapped
up my Air Force career, T retired
within 90 days.

Now, as E look back, Гуе concluded
that guys in the Air Force are not any
thing special. Mostly they arc tr
& to make a living in the way they
know best, Some are good, some are
bad. Some are honest, some are crooks
Some are gentlemen, some are g
Some fart quietly, some raise
leg. Some even write for PLaynoy.

ge
ferved to the
was thoroughly bri

ticle. bu

227

PLAYBOY

PLAYBOY
READER SERVICE

Write to Playboy Reader Service for
answers to your shopping questions.
We will provide you with the name
of a retail store in or near your city
where you can buy any of the spe-
cialized items advertised or edito-
rially featured in PLAvnBov. For
example, where-to-buy information is
available for the merchandise of the
advertisers in this issue listed below.

We will be happy to answer any of
your other questions on fashion,
travel, food and drink, stereo, ete.
If your question involves items you
Saw in PLAYBOY, please specify page
number and issue of the magazine
as well as а brief description of the

items when you write. 10.78
PLAYBOY READER SERVICE
Playboy Вий

USE CONVENIENT SUBSCRIPTION
FORMS, PAGES 43, 187

О 3yrs. for $24 (Save $24.00)
O 1 уг. for 10 (Save $6.00)
С payment спо» |

later

TO:

тате (please print)

address

E pede по,

Mail to PLAYBOY
Playboy Huilding, 919 N. Michigan Ave
Chicago, Плов 60611
7002

NEXT MONTH:

SINGLE SCREW

POKER LORE

“PLL PLAY THESE"—THE WILD WORLD OF POKER, FROM
THE FIRST ANTE TO THE FINAL RAISE: TIPS ON TACTICS BY
JON CARROLL, LURE AND LORE OF THE GAME ВУ ©. BARRY
GOLSON, AN AFFECTIONATE GLANCE BACK AT THE ALGONQUIN
ROUND TABLE BY SCOTT MEREDITH, A STORY ABOUT THE BEST
WOMAN PLAYER IN GARDENA, CALIFORNIA, BY JACK RICHARD-
SON, A REPORT ON THE WORLD SERIES OF POKER IN LAS VEGAS
BY RICHARD WARREN LEWIS AND A LOT OF TABLE TALK BY
INVETERATE BLUFFERS JACK LEMMON, ELLIOTT GOULD,
TELLY SAVALAS, WALTER MATTHAU AND MILTON BERLE

“SEX AND THE SINGLE SCREW''-A YOUNG STUD, AFLOAT
WITH FIVE GIRLS AND A MIDDLE-AGED SAILOR, FINDS LIFE NO
PICNIC IN THIS WRY YARN—BY NICHOLAS MONSARRAT

“THE BIG PICTURE"—EVER HEARD OF HENRY KLOSS? YOU
WILL. HE'S BRINGING YOU ROOM-SIZED TV—BY TOM ZITO

“CHEESECAKE MADNESS"'—IF YOU WERE SCARED SHITLESS
BY THE FILM REEFER MADNESS, WAIT TILL YOU READ HOW GIRLIE
PIX CAN PICKLE YOUR BRAIN—BY JIM SIEGELMAN

“THE LEGEND OF STEP-AND-A-HALF"'—FOR THE IMAGINARY
NIGGERHEAD INDIAN TRIBE, LIFE WAS JUST A CONSTANT SERIES
OF UPS AND DOWNS—BY PAUL REB

**GOD'S BIG FIX'"—THERE /S A SAFE, UNTAPPED SOURCE OF
ENERGY: THERMONUCLEAR FUSION—BY RICHARD RHODES

“SEX IN CINEMA—1374"—12 PAGES OF PICTURES ON WHAT'S
HAPPENING IN AND OUT OF FILMDOM'S BEDS, BATHTUBS AND
CUTTING ROOMS—WITH TEXT BY ARTHUR KNIGHT

“IS ANYBODY OUT THERE DOING HIS JOB?" —SOME STUDIES
OF THAT RARA AVIS, THE HONEST POLITICIAN (WE ACTUALLY
FOUND A FEW)—BY ROBERT SHERRILL

“THE AGGRESSIVE CHICK"—IT'S HARD FOR A GENT TO KEEP
HIS VIRTUE TODAY, EVEN IN CARTOONS—BY ALDEN ERIKSON

“THE CHARM"—THE DYING MAN HELD THE SECRET TO EVERY-
THING, BUT WHAT THE HELL WAS IT?—BY RAY RUSSELL

50
a-
Б
Л
(ab)
Eo
T
я
cà
is
—
e

за

ТАРИКАТ

FAMOUS CIGARETTES

D
|
|

The longer
filter that's long
on taste

FILTER TIPPED

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

21 mg. "tar; 1.5 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report MARCH 74.

Internet Archive Audio

Featured

Top

Images

Featured

Top

Software

Featured

Top

Texts

Featured

Top

Video

Featured

Top

Mobile Apps

Browser Extensions

Archive-It Subscription

Save Page Now

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats