Skip to main content

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats 


- | 
1976 * $1.25 


Was Richard 
Nixon a Wimp in 
High School? 

Was Ann-Margret? 
Raquel Welch? 
Playboy Tells All 


Sex Is Good 
The Whale War: For Your Body! 
High Noon Speeding 
At Sea with Is Good for 
The Russians Your Soul! 


A long, hot summer 
is easier to take when you take 
Gilbeys and Holland House 
Gin. Gilbey's Vodka. In one of Holland 


e h L4 

with it. ín 

Don't take any heat from the sun this 

year. Fight back with a cool, cool Vodka L— 

Sour or Tom Collins or anything made with A 
House's best-selling cocktail mixes. f xf } f 
Gilbey's and Holland House are every- 4 CER | 
thing you need for a great summer | 
except the tan. 


Gilbey's and Holland House. Dry Gilbey's 


Instant 


nci 


= Distilled London Dry Gin. 86 proof. Vodka. 80 proof. 100; 


Good News! 
You will never have to 
change blades again. 


Introducing the new Gillette 
disposable razor called 
Good News! With its many 
unique features, it’s the 
most exciting razor in years. 


What makes the Good News! 
razor so different is A it's all 
one piece. The handle and the 
head that holds the blades are per 
manently fused together, forever. 
That means there's no cartridge 
or blades for you to load, or mess 
with, or misalign. 

The handle itself B is made 
of lightweight yet durable plastic to 
give you the soft touch that ordi- 
nary razors don't have. Good 
News! handles like an instrument, 
shaves with a feather touch. 


Nicely grooved no-slip 
ridges € that run up and down 


both sides of the handle make it 
easy to hold on to under the 


slipperiest of conditions 
Theres even a clear plastic 
cap D that comes with every 
razor to cover the blades so 
they won't get nicked while your 
waiting 


next shave. 


Smooth, slick, swift shave 
after shave after shave on 
just one Good News! razor. 


And now about the shave. 

The Good News! shaving 
system features twin blades E with 
all the cdvantages you get with 
twin-blade action. Smoother, 
slicker, more comfortable—you 
name it-the Good News! twin- 
blade platinum edges have it all. 
By the way, locking the blades 
permanently to the handle means 
youre guaranteed the optimum 
factory designed shaving angle 
every time. 


1 9 


Platinum-Plus" twin blades 
and handle are set at precise 
shaving angle. 


gue 


And what hap- 
pens when the twin 
blades finally get dull? 
After lots and lots of 
i . great shaves, you just 
ZZ throw the whole razor 
b away and reach for 


When the another Good Newsl 
blades ore You chonge razors 
finally dull, — instead of blades. 
you just 
toss the 
whole thing 
away. 

Now heres 


the clincher. The 
complete Good && 
News! razor, han- 

dle, twin blades, 


cap and all, sells Good News! 
for only a quarter ct quarter 
That's right. Twenty- price. 


five cents. When was the 
last time you got something really sub- 
stantial for a quarter. Even 
loj the evening 
22, newspaper can 
run you that 
much these 
days. 
Twenty-five 
cents for 
the whole 


e 


For shoves like 
these at a price 
like this, you can't 
afford not to 

try it. 

Good News! 


Look for this 
packet at your 
local check-out 
counter. 


The 
Good News! 

25‘ disposable 
razor by Gillette. 


€ 1974 The Gillette Company, Solety Razor Division, Boston, Moss- 


Had it with hot taste? 


Then put down what you're 
smoking and pick up the 
- extra cool taste of KOL. 


Come up to KGDL. 


= 
| Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
hat Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


Sec 


Kings, 17 mg."ter, "1.3 mg. nicotine; Longs, 17 mg. "tar," 
1.2 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report Nov. 75 


ON SEPTEMBER 22, 1975, Sara Jane Moore aimed a gun at President 
Gerald Ford, pulled the trigger and missed. When her 
entered a plea of guilty, the case was closed and all evidence 
scaled. But there were too many questions left unanswered. 
Frustrated, Moore decided to tell her story to free-lance writer 
Andrew Hill. (The two had met while working on the Hearst- 
sponsored People in Need program.) The Playboy Interview 
is a startling profile of a troubled victim of the political system. 
ps most startling is the dispassionate, rational account she 
gives of an act most would consider insane. An unsettling mo- 
ment for the editors came when, during a telephone conversa- 
tion from prison, Moore commented that she'd been reading 
uo Series on assassi she said. “I almost 
1 could have become your final chapter." Fortunately, 
s only part of next month's chapter, while in this i 
art VI of the series, James McKinley explores the murders of 
Malcolm X and Martin Luther King, Jr. King’s case was settled 
but not solved, 

Centuries from now, anthropologists will study broken tele- 
ion sets and rusted automobiles the way they now study 
bones and pottery shards for clues to a lost culture. John leonard, 
who left his positi s editor of The New York Times Book 
1 correspondent of that paper, 
offers his view of television in And a Picture Tube Shall Lead 
"Them. Kinuko Croft supplied the visuals. To explain our national 
love affair with the automobile, we flagged down three speed 
demons. Dan Gerber raced for five years, then went on to become 
a poet, novelist and journalist. Here he gives us a detailed view 
of vehicular mayhem at Indy—The World's Fastest Carnival 
Ride, William Neely, who in the past has reported on stock-car rac 
ing (fiction) and wuckers (fact) for PLAvsov, profiles Indy driver 
Dick Simon, a six-time loser who enters the race every year, despite 
the fact that he stands little chance of winning. Finally, free- 
spirited highwayman Brock Yates gives his opinion of the natio 
speed limit in 55 Be Damned! 

As anyone who has resisted the urge to throw an empty beer 
can out his car window knows, the whale is on the edge of 
oblivion, the victim of an overzealous whaling industry. Jack 
Richordson joined a crew of slightly freaky whale lovers as they 
put their boat and bodies on the line against a Russian whal- 
ing fleet. The Great Whale Batlle (illustrated by Rey Schnack- 
enberg) recaptures the quixotic encounter. Richardson is 
presently writing a screenplay based on the episode. 

And now for the sex: When science writer Edward M. Brecher 
and his son, Jeremy Brecher (also a science writer), sat down to 
discuss the facts of lile, they compared notes and made a sur- 
prising discovery. Sex Is Good for Your Health confirms wha 
we've always suspected. Early to bed, and to hell with wealth 
nd wisdom. Cartoonist John Dempsey doesn't need hard facts to 


Review to become chief cultura 


Ball-Turret Gunner, this month's fictional offering from novelist 
odd tale of a 99 percent immaculate concep- 
iion. Wayne Meoughlin supplied the artwork. living, whose 
Brennbar's Rant appeared in the December 1974 rrAvsov, re- 
ports that the story is the first chapter of a work in progress 
tentatively called The World According to Garp. June is grad- 
uation time: Yet another high school dass prepares to close its 
lockers and leave the hallowed halls behind. Do people change 
when they get out in the ral world? Not especially, says Ralph 
Keyes, the author of /s There Life After High School? (The 
article is an excerpt from a similarly titled book to be published 
by Little, Brown this summer.) Now that the studying is over, 
rest your eyes on Playmate Debra Peterson or check out Richard 
Fegley's stunning pictorial of Playmate of the Year Lilian Müller. 
With women like that in the world, who needs high school? 


John Irving, is 


PLAYBILL 


IRVING 


RICHARDSON 


A 


SCHNACKENBERG KEYES ~ DEMPSEY 


PLAYBOY. 


vol. 23, no. 6—june, 1976 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
PLAYBILL e i e cee cee cette eee reer cnn ct sen cnsew eens 3 
DEARIPLAYBOY ee ar Sc dee e n 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS e nr 21 
SPORIS ... Em 24 
At the Over-the-l 
MUSICIENS Suet He ole Te ois ee eee s ROMS sie 9) FSI te © 28 
National Lampoon, Burning Spear and the latest from Barbra. 
MOVIES fete ee EEEE a tee sib pte cosa Se 
Watergate, W. C. Fields, kids baseball and Robin Hood for adults. 
BOOKS 40 


Bernstein and Woodward's long-awaited new book on Nixon's last days. 


SELECTED SHORTS 


LOSTIINITHEISTARSIME PRU ei RICHARD RHODES 42 
If extraterrestrials get our message, their only response may be "Huh?" 
Speed Top P THE SAFETY FETISHISTS ......-.+--- 22.00.05 CRAIG KARPEL 43 
í This year's new safety standards may well be the death of us all. 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR ....... ebat cae Ua ooo em 45 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM .............--++-- qued Med ee 51 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: SARA JANE MOORE—candid conversation ... 69 


Once a mild-mannered suburban housewife/accountant, Sally Moore reveals 
the real reason she attempted to assassinate President Ford. 


JENNY AND THE BALL-TURRET GUNNER—fiction ..... JOHN IRVING 88 
A nurse discovers how to have an—almost—immaculate conception. 


CAUTION: WOMEN AT WORK!—pictorial eo 1492 
Thanks to fem lib, you find ladies doing macho things these days—like working 
oil wells and operating jockhammers. Ah, but there is a difference! 


THE GREAT WHALE BATTLE—article ........... JACK RICHARDSON 98 
Our author joins a crew of ecologists out to get between the Russians and the 
endangered whale. The Russkies, as it turns out, have no sense of humor. 


AMERICA AT SPEED 


nel 55 BE DAMNED!—article .......-.------ .....BROCK YATES 103 
Nobody s paying much attention to that ridiculous speed limit, least of all our 
author, who tells how to get around it. 


THE WHOLE HERO-DRIVER'S CATALOG— merchandise 
The latest in driving gear to make the open road a joy. 


WORLD'S FASTEST CARNIVAL RIDE—sports . DAN GERBER 106 
A former race driver provides an inside account cf the ritual of Indy. 


LIFE AMONG THE ALSO-RANS— personality ... WILLIAM NEELY 178 
Dick Simon is not your typical Indy leadfoot. He wouldn't mind winning, but, 
Picture Tube P. 150 for him, that’s not the name of the game. 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLATECY BUILDING, #19 NORTH MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS GOSI, RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED 
M MEY ABE TO Bt RETURNED AND NO RESPONSIBILITY CAN BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT TO PLAYBOY WILL BE TREATED AS UNCONDIWONALLY 
ASSIGNED FOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYBOY'S UNRESTRICTED RICHT TO EDIT AND TO COMMENT EDITORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 1276 BY PLAYBOY. 
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, PLAYBOY AND RABBIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE NARKS OF PLAYHOY, REGISTERED U.S. PATENY OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA, MARQUE DEPOSEE. NOTHING HAY BE REPRINTED IN 
WHOLE On IM PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACIS IN THE FICTION AND SEXIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL 
torte ANG PLACES 42 PURELY COINCIDENTAL, CREDITS: COVER: PLAYMATE/MODEL LILLIAN MULLER, PHOTOGRAPHY BY ONTA, DESIGNED Df TOM STAEDLER: LILLIAN RULLER'S HAIR DY GILBERT 


COVER STORY 

Our Playmate of the Year cover was shot by Japanese lensman Ohta, 
whose fashion photographs appeared in rLAvsov last January. Ohta had never 
dealt with a Playmate before. "I was frightened at first," he says. "I expected 


Lillian to be pampered. But she turned out to be an extremely professional 
model." We could have told him that. 


VODKA!—drink ...... Bash edd o6 acts ..EMANUEL GREENBERG 109 
The drink of the Cossacks may turn out to be the only reason for détente. 


DEBBIE'S DREAM— playboy's playmate of the month n.... 110 
Ever since she was 14, Debra Peterson has wanted to be a Playmate—that's 
what we call manifest destiny. 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKESs humour 120 


PRIVATE EYES—modern living ees 122 anil WES 
Everything you always wanted to know about telescopes, like how to get a 
clearer view of that redhead on the 37th floor of the building next door. 


SEX FOR YOUR HEALTH—article . ...EDWARD M. & JEREMY BRECHER 125 
Need a good come-on gimmick? Here it is. Medical evidence proves thet do- 
ing it will keep you young, active and alive, among other things. 


PLAYBOY'S HISTORY OF ASSASSINATION—article . . JAMES McKINLEY 126 
The death of Malcolm X may have been a gangland hit, but the killing of 
Martin Luther King, Jr., remains the most suspicious of them all. Whale Bottle 


PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR—pictorial jj. 132 
The envelope, please. And lo, August Playmate Lillian Muller leads all the rest. 


PRETTY KATE OF WINDSOR and TENEMENT TO LET!—ribald classics .. 145 


PLAYBOY'S GIFTS FOR DADS AND GRADS—merchandise .......... 147 
A contemporary treasure-trove for men of achievement. 


AND A PICTURE TUBE SHALL LEAD THEM—article . . JOHN LEONARD 150 Driving Gear 
The former editor of the New York Times Book Review tokes a witty look at 
the one-eyed monster and concludes that television is the only thing holding 
this nation together. 


JUST ADD WATER—ettire ......................... DAVID PLATT 153 


As far as today's swimwear goes, a little goes a long way. 


IS THERE LIFE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?—article ........ RALPH KEYES 157 
Everyone goes through it, everyone gets traumatized one way or the other. 
Even the famous, whose high school experiences (ond yearbook mug shots) 
cre featured in this nostalgic walk down memory lone. 


Saat guod dois JOHN DEMPSEY 159 


: E 188 
Quick hits on video-disc technology, a weird Navy project, research into the 
chemical transfer of learning and mineral shortages 


een 8 e eee A Healthy Sex P. 125 


LA CHAPELLE OF BERNARD DAILEY'S IN LOS ANGELES. OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY BY: CHARLES W. BUSH, P. 3 (2); DAVID CHAM, P, 122-123, 
P. 22) SHYLA IRVING, P. 3; TOM KELLER, f. 3: MEINZ KLUETMEIER, P. 3; JOHN MCCORMICK, P. 2, 2. BARAY O'ROURKE. 
SMITH, P. 3 (2): UNITED PRESS INTERNATIONAL, P. 126 (1), 127 (0, 129 (2); mICHAND t. VETH, P, 


FICK CLUTHE, f. 3, MIKEL COVEY, P. 3 (2); BILL FRANTZ, 
P. 12, ME (1); SUZANNE SEED, P. 3 (21: VERNON L 
105. DRESS DESIGNED EY ANDREA KALISH ARSEMAULT 


P. 5, rome 
CENE 


PLAYBOY, JUNE. 1876, VOL, 23, NO. 6. PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PLAYEOY, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS, PLAYBOY DLOG., S18 H, MICHIGAN AVE., CHGO.. ILL. eosi]. SECOND<LASS POST. 
AGE PAID AT CHGO., ILL, AND AT ADDL. MAILING OFFICES, SUBSCRIPTIONS: IN THE U- S., $10 FOR ONE YEAR. POSTMASTER: SEND FORM 357) TO PLAYBOY, P- O. BOX 2420, BOULDER, COLO. 0C3O2, 


LAYBOY 


You can watch 
^ the day drift by 
with Minolta. 


The stillness of that special moment 
can last forever when you capture it with a 
camera that responds to your mood. 

You're comfortable with a Minolta 
SR-T from the moment you pick it up. This 
is the 35mm reflex camera that lets you 
concentrate on the picture, because the 
viewfinder shows all the information needed 
for correct exposure and focusing. You 
never have to look away from the finder to 
adjust a Minolta SR-T, so you're ready to 
catch the one photograph that could never 
be taken again. 

And when subjects call for a different 
perspective, Minolta SR-T cameras accept a 
complete system of interchangeable 
lenses, from “fisheye” wide angle to super- 
telephoto. 

For many happy returns of the day, 
try a Minolta SR-T. For mcre information, 
see your photo dealer or write Minolta 
Corporation, 101 
Williams Drive, 
Ramsey, New Jersey 
07446. In Canada: 
Anglophoto Ltd., P.Q. 


Minolta SR-T 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 
SHELDON WAX managing editor 
GARY COLE photography editor 


G. BARRY GOLSON assistant managing editor 


EDITORIAL, 


FICTION: Rome 
CHEN HAIDER, Wal 
SERVICE FEATURES: TOM OWEN modern living 
editor; AVID. vet fashion editor; THOMAS 
MARIO food & drink editor - CARTOONS: 

URRY (difor » COPY: ARLENE BOURAS 
editor, StAN 


editor, VICTORIA 


SHEA, DAVID STEVENS 
GONZALES, DAVID STA 
BLUMENTI 
edito 


istant editors; SUSAN Y 
NEKAM, BARBARA NE 


, KAREN 
lilors; 


NAT HENTOE 
JEAN SHED RONERT S 
WILHAMSON. (movies), Jotw skow contribut- 
ing editors . ADMINISTRATIVE SERVICES 
PATRICIA rAPANGELIS admi 
ROSE JENNINGS rights & permissie 
MILDRED ZIMMERMAN admin 


ART 
TOM STAEDLER, KERIG POPE a 
BOR POST, ROY MOODY, 
GORDON MORTENSEN, 
asistani directors; JULIE 
R HUBBARD, GLENN STEWARD art assistants; 
HECKMANN administrative assistant 


racz 
vici 


PHOTOGRAPHY 


MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JANICE 
WERKOWIZ mosis associate editor: ‘Wows 
WAYNE new york editor; BIL, ARSENAULT, DAVID 
CHAN, RICHARD FEGLEY, DWIGHT HOOKER 
rosen sla} photographers; now 
KAS urea contributing photog- 
Taphers; WLL FRANTZ, RICHARD IZUI associate 
photographers: JOHNSON 
assistant. editors; LEO KRIEGE color lab super- 
visor; ronerr CHELIUS administrative editor 


PRODUCTION 


JOHN MASIRO director: ALLEN VARGO man- 
ager; ELEANORE WAGNER, RITA JOHNSON, 
MARIA MANDIS, RICHARD QUAETAROL assistants 


READER SERVICE 
GAYLY GARDNER director 


CIRCULATION 


BEN col director of newsstand sales; 
ALVIN wIEMOLD subscription manager 


ADVERTISING 
HOWARD W. LEDERER advertis 


PLAY BOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
RICHARD S. ROSENZWEIG executive vice-presi- 
dent, publishing group, and associate pub- 
lisher; RICHARD M. korr assistant publisher 


eee ORAL AMO LENSES BAN AMT fg SERVICE COR € eT ION e e e ndl 


GXIOYOIS ej 


Built to take on 
the city. 
The Honda Civic. 


The Honda Civic was born and bred 
for the city. It is city wise - eity tough. 
Designed specifically for people who do 
most of their driving around town. 

So. To make it nimble in city traffic we 
gave it front wheel drive and rack and 


pinion steering. You avoid tough situations 
before they develop. 

Because the engine is mounted 
sideways, the Civic is small on the outside, 
big on the inside; it has room for four 
people. And parking? Parking’s a cinch. 

Things happen quickly — without 
warning - on city streets. You need to stop 
—right now. So we gave the Civic power- 
assisted front discs in a dual-diagonal 
safety braking system. 

And maybe best of all, the Honda Civic 
CVCC comes with the brilliant Advanced 
Stratified Charge Engine. It runs on any 


grade of gas regular, low-lead or no- lead 
- with no need for a catalytic converter. 
And it got an EPA certified 32 mpg in the 
city, 43 highway* 

If you drive in the city, you need the 
City Car: the Honda Civic. 

There are over 600 Honda Civic dealers 
all over the country. Test own a Honda 
Civic soon. It's an unforgettable experience. 


CVCC. Civic and Hondamatic are Honda trademarks. 
(01976 American Honda Motor Co., Inc. 
il Avg. d. & S-spced hatchback/sedan models. 
get will vary depending on the type of driving you 
your car's condition and optional equipment. 
" d on Federal Highway Administration estimates: 
55% city driving, 45% highway driving conditions. 
**Manufucturer’s suggested retail price plus tax, license, transportation 
charges, optional equipment, and dealer's preparation charges. Shown 
With optional mag style wheels and 13° stecl-belted radial rires $388.40. 


Civic CVCC 1488cc Price** 


|. EPA Mileage Estimates” 


Combined 


| Hwy. | City | Hwy. & City 


Sedan (4-Speed) $2979 


32 


32 


Hatchback (a. Speed) $3189 


(Hondamatic) $3349 


2 


25 


Wagon (4-Speed) $3419 
(Hondamatic) $3579. 


| 
L 
| 
| 


Speed ert | 53469 


Hatchback (c (Calif. Model) | $3469 | 


| Civic 1237cc (Not avail. in Calif) 


Avg. Sedan/Hatchback (4- & ET Spd.) 


Emm (4-Speed) aE 82729 


| Hatchback (+ Speed) DR $2939 | 


(Hondamatic) | $3099 | 


30 


HONDA CIVIC 
What the world is coming to. 


Is your 
cigarette less 
an More? 


Il it isn't Mor less than More. Because More is the first 120mm cigarette. 
It's more in every way except price. 

More has more style. It has more flavor. It has more. Over 50% more pufis 
than most 100mm rettes. Yet More doesn't cost more. 

And what's more, More comes in both regular and menthol. They're both 
long, lean and burnished brown. Regular More delivers rich tobacco flavor while 
More Menthol packs a cooling blast. Puff after puff after puff. 

You'll find that More and More Menthol smoke slower and draw easy for 
more enjoyment. They're more flavorful. Yet they're surprisingly mild. 

More and More Menthol. They sit neat in your hand like they were made 
for it and fit your face like they found a home. 

Why settle for less? 


5 Thefirst 120mm cigarette. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. | FILTER: 21 ma. tar”, 15 mg. nicotine, MENTHOL: 21 mg. ter. 
1.6 mg: nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report SEPT. 75. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


D s002655 PLAYBOY MAGAZINE - PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGD, ILLINDIS 60611 


TO JOG OR NOT TO JOG? 

I don't know where you found Dr. 
]- E. Schmidt, but in publishing his arti- 
de Jogging Can Kill You! (evayuoy, 
March), you probably killed more young 
men than jogging ever will 

Charles Davant, HI, M.D. 
Blowing Rock, North Carolina 


Schmidt's article on ihe 
ive and. 
y damage 


I found 1 
hazards of jogging to be inform: 
opportune, considering the da 
done to and by those countless, unin- 
formed health seckers pounding the side- 
walks of suburbia. 


William Eaton 
Oxford, Mississippi 


What disturbs me as much as Schmidt's 
failure to include any references for his 
conclusions is his failure to offer any al- 
ternatives. We at the N.. A., with the 
support of over 1000 jogging doctors rep- 
resented by the American Medical Jog 
ging Association, recommend vigorous, 
nonsuenuous exercise; for those 
it and can do it successfully, 
jogging. The altern: 
offer no plan of positive action, grow fat 
and die early. 

Rory Donaldson 
National Jogging Association 


While it is true that running can, in 
some people, create back problems and 
perhaps a few other maladies, I feel that 
the therapeutic benefits by far outweigh 
ny deleterious effects. 

Buddy Edelen 
1964 Olympic Marathon Runner 
Alamosa, Colorado 


Unadulterated garbage. 
Dana J. Pasig, D.C. 
Davenport, lowa 


Poppycock! 
Neil I, Cohen 


Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 


Get off your ass, Dr. Schmidt—jogging 
can save you! 


Fred Volpe 
St. Louis, Missouri 


1 am an orthopedic surgeon and J 
have never seen a jogger with sacroiliac 
trouble. Moreover, the ligaments and 
porting structures of the body do not 


PLAYBOY, JUNE, 1374, VOLUME 23. nU 


necessarily give way with repeated stress. 
In fact, repeated functional use of a 
part, if not overdone, will strengthen 
and enlarge it so that it can withstand 
more trauma than before. 
Bruce A. Miller, M.D. 
Lincoln, Nebraska 


I can hear the armchair athletes of our 
great nation belching their approval in 
unison as they lull themselves to death 
with the false belief that their nightly 
walk to the carbohydrate cooler in their 
kitchens is sufficient exercise to stave off 
an imminent myocardial infarction. for 
another day. 


D. C. Parker 

strative Director 
Spa Fitness 
Grand Rapi 


ered pharmacist t 
fit trusses, I've been surprised by the num- 
ber of young men needing them. T 
to Dr. Schmidt's fine article, I now know 
why they need them. 


les R. Pelham 
ibama 


TUCK TALK 
The 1976 Democratic Handicap 
(PLavuoy, March) by Dick Tuck, is 
highly readable, fascinating and provoc 
ative. I am circulating it among my po- 
litical advisors. 
Governor Thomas P. Salmon 
Montpelier, Vermont 


There is no doubt that The 1976 Dem- 
ocratic Handicap is up to Tuck's usual 
standards. 

David Jensen 

Associate Press Secretary, 
Governor's Office 

Sacramento, Califo 


My staff and T enjoyed reading Dick 
Tuck's artide. 


Senator Gary H 
United States Senate 
Washington, D.C. 


Tuck's article is a testimonial to his 
innate sense of humor. 

Governor Ray Blanton 

Nashville, 


While I am obviously not an insider 
when it comes to Democratic politics, 
the conclusion of Tuck's article mi 


THREE YEARS, $18 FOR TWO YEARS, 310 FOR ONE YEAR. ELSEWHERE S15 PER YEAR, ALLOW 30 DAYS TOR NEW SUBSCRIPTIONS AND 


RENEWALS. CHANGE OF ADDRESS: SEND BOTH OLD AND NIW ADDRESSES TO PLAYBOY. PLAYBOY BUILDING. 919 NORTH MICHIGAN 
OF MARKETING INFORMATION: NELSON FUTCH, MARKETING MANAGER; LEE GOTTLIED, DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS, 
ROVERTISING: HOWARD W. LEDERER, ADVERTISING DIRECTOR. DON HANRAHAN, ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING DIRECTOR; JULES KASE, 
ADVERTISING MANAGER. 747 THIRD AVENUE, NEW YORK, NEW YORK 10017; CHICAGO, SHERMAN KEATS, ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING 
MANAGER. MD NORTH MICHIGAN AVENUE; DETROIT, WILLIAM F. MOORE, MANAGER, BIA FISHER BUILDING: LOS ANGELES, STANLEY L 
PERKINS, MANAGER, BIZI BEVERLY BOULEVARD: SAN FRANCISCO, ROBERT E. STEPHENS, MANAGER, 417 MONTGOMERY STREET, 


English Leather. 
1 aE e naoi. 
smell as 
during the week 
as they do on 


Saturday night. 


If wearing English 
Leather®Cologne makes 
Saturday night special, 
imagine what English 
Leather After Shave could 
dofortherestoftheweek. 

Sowhy notuse both. 
That way the people you 
work with can enjoy that 
same famous, fresh, clean 
scent, asthe people you 
play with. 


Enolish Leather 


After Shave and Cologne. 


MEM COMPANY, INC., Northvale, NJ. 07647 


Cologne 4 oz. $4.50, B oz. $6.50 
After Shave 4 oz. $3.00, B oz. $4.50. 


Available in Canada ©1976 


u 


PLAYBOY 


12 


not be as farfetched as it would appear 
on the surface. This should be a very un- 
predictable year in politics, and almost 
anything could happen in New York 


Ci 


Gover mes E. Holshouser, Jr. 
Raleigh, North Carolina 


K 


G LEAR 

Thank God for Norman Lear (Playboy 
Interview, March)! It is nice to know 
there is at least one producer who gives 
a damn abour the quality of programing 
fed to the American public. I love his 
idea of € the classics down our 
throats. I would much rather digest Che- 
khov or Miller than be forced to swallow 
The Rookies ov 5.W.A.T. 
Ronald R. Rowe 
Hagerstown, Maryland. 


Norman Lear is a producer-creator- 
writer, but, nt, he has be. 
come the voice of all those who want 10 


see network television mature and grow. 
id Levy, President 
Lear is a rip-off master who never had 


his life and prac 
tices all the cheap-shot tactics of the way- 
out liberal urban elitist who imposes his 
value systems on an incurably ignorant 


H.G: 
Corrales, 


Tince cheers for 
thought people like him went the way of 
the dinosaur. I's about time somebody 
challenged the network executives as 10 
what is acceptable fare for us corn-fed, 
die- American, small-town hicks! 
Gayle Plummer 
Wentzville, Missouri 


1 am enthusiastic and grateful for the 
fact that Norman Lear is among us. 
John Cheev 
Ossining, N. 


CORRECTION 
In Vengeance Under the Law (PLAYBOY, 
August 1975), it is stated t “Among 
the Weathermen who planted a series of 
bombs in 1969 and 1970, the most skilled 
nd enthusiastic bomb maker was a gum- 
toting FBI informer-provocateur named 
athwohl." I happen to be 
thwolil and know for a fact 
t the above statement is not true. 
Larry D. Grathwohl 
Hayward, Californi 


ANN’S FANS 
Your Marc 


Playmate, Ann Penning- 


Robert M. Carse 
Chicago, Ilin 


Yve alway 


s wondered why you rarely 
show any of your Playmates wea 


eyeglasses. I seriously doubt that all your 
centerfold girls are gifted with perfect 
vision, especially considering how gifted 
they are otherwise. Glasses are sexy! 
Greg Sawyer 
West Lafayeue, Indian 
Maybe you're the one who needs the 
glasses, Greg. As you can see (can you 


see?) by this centerfold shot, our March 
Playmate, Ann Pennington, is, indeed, 
bespectacled. Maybe you ought to clean 
your lenses once in a while. 


POLICE STORIES 

Re Laurence Gonzales’ Who Can 
Arrest You? (pLaywoy, March): Police offi- 
cers are human beings. Contrary to pub- 
lic opinion, we eat, sleep. have feclings 
d familics and occasionally even laugh 
ttle. No one values a person's consti- 
tutional rights more than a police officer 
does. That's because we are treated as 
second-class citizens. We are not able to 
enjoy the protections of the U. S. Con- 
stitution as the ordinary citizen does. It 
y that those people who hate us 
can't themselves be put in our unenvi 
ble position in life. Perhaps Gonzales 
should examine his research a little more 
closely before writing such unfounded 
baloney. 


a 


mes P. Storney 
ional Policemen's 

Protective Associa 
Milwaukee, Wisconsi 


I thank Laurence Gonzales for calling 
me the Saint Jude of homicide, the pa 
uon saint of hopeless cases. (I only wish I 
were.) I concur with many of his points; 
however, 1 take exception 10 some of his 
statements. He mentions that in 1974, 
only 81 percent of those arrested were 


prosecuted and then only 61 percent of 
those were conyicted as charged. Thi 
does not necessarily mean. as Gon- 
zales implies. that the remaining arrests 
were mistakes. All policemen know that 
many people are released despite the 
guilt because of legal technicalities and 
the lack of good investigative work on 
the part of the police 

Sgt. Gerald T. McQueen 

Manhattan Homicide Task Force 
w York, New York 


The answer to controlling cri 
mplies. does not lie 


in cleaning out the ghettos 
every man and wo: 
to make a decent living. 


d giving 
an equal chance 


ier Benson 
mi, Florida 


A spectacu 
dation and logic. 
Patrick Owens. 
Newsday 
Garden City, New York 


job of research, consoli- 


We're living under al law and 

we don't even realize i 
Arnie Baxter 

n Francisco, Califor 


mar 


Laurence Gonzales’ amticle virtually 
scared the hell out of me. I never realized 
1 here were so many cops crawling 
around our count 
Mike Sibley 


Minneapolis, Minnesota 


Gonzales has to be a total cop hater. 
For example, he states that in Chicago, 
33 citizens were shot and Killed by police 
but only four cops were killed by citizens. 
Were those 33 citizens just innocently 
walking down the sucet © they 


engaged in a felony that justified sell- 
delense? 
Gerald S. Arenberg, Executive 
Director 
American Federation of Police 
North Miami, Florida 


If Gonzales had checked into the true 
reason for the drop in crime rate in Al- 
buquerque during a recent. police strike, 
he would have discovered that when the 
local citizenry takes up arms to defend 
itself from criminals, th ds of 
crime become goddamn hairy and most 
unhealthy, because Citizen John shoots 
first and asks questions later 


K. Jay Leonard 
Moline, Illinois 


Gonzales’ attempt 10 discredit efforts 
of law-enforcement agencies by suggest- 
ing that because only 81 percent of those 
arrested in 1974 were prosecuted, th 
maining 19 percent mistakes 
absurd! Did he consider that perhaps the 
vast majority of those cases were delayed 


were 


Banff National Park, Alberta, Canada. 


* 


CANADIAN 
MIST. 


Canada at its b 
anada at its best. 
Try the light, smooth whisky that's becoming Americas favorite Canadian 


Imported Canadian Mist: 


IMPORTED BY BROWN-FORMAN DISTILLERS IMPORT COMPANY, N.Y., N.Y., CANADIAN WHISKY—A BLEND, 80 OR 86.8 PROOF, © 1975. 


PLAYBOY 


14 


Theyear-round water sport. 


Our traditional leather moccasin loves the water, fresh or salt. 
The special elk-tanned leather dries to its original softness 

no matter how often it's wet. Handlasted and handstitched. 
Soft, antiskid Sperry Top-Sider” sole makes it perfect for 
boating or street wear. $28.00 (Suggested Retail Price) 


Write for catalogue: Sperry Top-Sider 
24 Rubber Avenue, Naugatuck, Conn. 06770 


JVC has changed 
the face of high fidelity. 
Inside andout. 


JVC has eliminated rotary 0 

controls completely and replaced them 

with precision push-bultons and slide 

controls on its new S300 stereo receiver. 

The S300 is quality all the way in looks 

as well as performance. to 20,000 Hz, with no more than 0.396 
Unheard of in a moderate priced re- total harmonic distortion. 

ceiver, the S300 offers JVC's exclusive Visit your JVC dealer. (Call toll-free 

five-zone tone control SEA 800-221-7502 for his name.) 


graphic equalizer system, Then see the S300. You'll 
plus four meters — two for recognize it as the one 

tuning and two for reading face that stands out in the. 
power output in watts. crowd. App. retail value $400. 


JVC America, Inc., 58-75 Queens Midtown Expressway, Maspeth, N.Y. 11376 (212) 476-8300 


It even has dual recording/ dubbing. 
The S300 delivers 50 watts per 
channel, min, RMS, at 8 ohms, from 20 


by defense motions and most of the other 

charges dropped by the complainants? 
William B. McDonald, President 
National Police Pilots Association 
Shenorock, New York 

Gonzales replies to all comers: 

1 do not hate cops and those who read 
the article carefully should have seen 
that. The piece is about the proliferation 
of police in this country and seeks to 
answer some questions, including the one 
posed by the title. I am in favor of po- 
lice, but I am against continuing to in- 
crease their numbers and power when it 
has no apparent or real effect on crime. 
When police can kill citizens, and even a 
member of the American Federation of 
Police has to pose the question as to 
what these citizens were doing at the time 
they were shot, there seems to be a clear 
need for more thorough investigations of 
these incidents. And if the mal reason 
the crime rale dropped in Albuquerque 
was that police protection was replaced 
by citizen. protection, that may be yet 
another good argument for arming the 
citizens and reducing the number of po- 
lice and the range of their power. As to 
McDonald's objection, he is correct the 
figure may be lower due to cases that 
are dropped. 


HOW TO DOERS 

1 enjoyed How to Do Everything, by 
Peter Passell, in the March issue of 
rLAYBOY, especially "How to Trace Your 
y Tree.” As a longtime amateur in 
genealogical research, I find it to be very 
well written. 


Kermit B. Karns 
Kansas City, Missouri 


I was very sad after reading the section 
on how to calculate my life expectancy, 
nce it showed I had died ten ycars ago. 
The net result is that I died before I 
reached 25. Can I use your chart to ask 
Social Security to refund my contribu- 
tions, since I won't be able to collect on 
them, or at least can I get a charitable 
write-off for said deductions? 

Alben C. Farrell 

Beverly Hills, California 


SPRINGSTEEN VOCALS 
I'm a Springsteen addict and I never 
thought it possible to capture his per- 
formances in print. But PrAvnov has 
come very dose. James R. Petersen's 
The Ascension of Bruce Springsteen 
(rtAvmov, March) is one of the finest 
pieces I have cver read on the incredi- 
ble performer and his equally incredible 
E Street Band. 
Mark A. Lyvers 
Riverdale, Maryland 


Asa guitarist and self-appointed music 
critic, I think Born to Run is the most 
appalling example of the recording in- 
dustry's all-out hype job. Apparently, 


Ray-Ban SunGlasses. 


So your eyes wont work 
harder than they have to. 


Your eyes use up a surprising omount of 
energy. If they're not properly protected, 
they may work harder than they need to. You 
can end up looking strained. .. feeling drained. 
Unnecessorily. 

Thot's why you should wear real 
sunglasses. With lenses that filter out ultra- 
violet and infrared rays. Absorb excessive light. 
Give you daylong protection against harsh 
tiring glare. Lenses that are precision ground 
and polished—just like prescription lenses. 
No waves. No wiggles. No distortion. No 
squinting. And no eyestrain 

AllRay-Ban SunGlosses meet these 
demanding standards. That's why they moy. 
cost a little more. But isn't it worth it to help 
your eyes look younger? 

For the "Sunglasses and Your Eyes“ 
booklet, write Dept. 666, Bausch & Lomb, 
Rochester, N.Y. 14602. Its free. We wont you 
to buy sunglasses with your eyes wide open. 


Ban 
"debe by 


Bausch&Lomb 


Jean Shrimpton weers Rey-Bon "Careven" SunGlasses, 


PLAYBOY 


16 


EAM 


SERVING THE UNITED TASTES 
OF AMERICA FOR Il YEARS 


FROM 1795 TO TODAY- 


SIX GENERATIONS OF THE BEAM FAMILY 
HAVE BEEN MAKING THE WORLDS FINEST BOURBON. 


T ie 
L RENE 


S 
* oF THE 56 SIGNERS 


Declaration of Independence 
NOT ONE EVER FELL FROM GRACE 
—WOr ONE By WORD OR DEED 
EVER TARNISHED HIS FAME BUT 
REMAINED PURE IN PUBLIC 
AND PRIVATE LIFE To THE LAST ” 


A d 
PETER JOHANN MILLER 
90 1556 
WAS ENGAGED BY THE 
x CONTINENTAL CONGRESS TO 
1 "d TRANSLATE THE DECLARATION 
OF INDEPENDENCE INTO 
Vy 7 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES 
FOR THE ENLIGHTENMENT OF 
FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS. 


AND RUSSIAN. 


Aen eint 


KENTU AIGHT 
BOURBON WHISKEY 


‘Distilled and bottled by 


JAMES BBEAM DISTILLING. Mi 


NOM Gtmuint minouT ey SipHATUAC 


the industry can take anything it can 
press into vinyl and, through a seven- 
digit promotional campaign, sell millions 
of records. 

Pfc. Jack Seeley 

APO New York, New York 


A hearty E street congratulations to 
James R. Petersen for his outstanding 
character study of Bruce Springsteen. He 
did what Time and Newsweek could not; 
he captured Bruce on paper. 

B. Douglas and O. Charles 
The Backyard Bombardiers 
Jungleland, New Jersey 


SHORT TAKES 
The Middle-Glass Squeeze (Selected 
Shorts, PLAvnov, March), by Craig Kar- 
pel, really says it like it is. Never have 
so many been screwed by so few, though as 
our bureaucracy grows, so increases the 
number of Scree. 
Tom Ellis 
Redondo Beach, California 


I. Rust Hills mentions in Help! Pleh! 
(Selected Shorts, pLaysoy, March) that it 
may mean something that sERUTAN is 
NATURES backward, but it means nothing 
that tums is sur. However, I'm sure that 
he would be interested in the significance 
of the soap that you wished everybody 
used: DIAL, which equals LAID, 

Sam Welker 

Springfield, Missouri 


FIRE BUGS 
We of the Manitou Springs Volunteer 
Fire Department appreciate your Fire 
Belle pictorial on the all-American fire- 
person, Vicki Cunningham. We've got 50 
members and I'll bet we bought at least 
100 copies of the March issue. 
Verne A. Witham, e Chief 
Manitou Fire Department 
Manitou Springs, Colorado 


In my 27 years in the fire-fighting pro- 
fession, I have never seen fire equipment 
as beautifully displayed as it was when 
wrapped around Vicki Cunningham. You 
can be sure that the March issue of 
PLAYBOY will be a permanent fixture in 
our firehouse. Vicki can slide our poles 
any time. 


Lt. H. Mead 
Cortland Fire Department 
Cortland, New York 


Your March Fire Belle feature lit more 
generalalarm fires in more firehouses 
than any other pictorial in iar. One 
question, though: Why couldn't you 
have used our firchousc? 
Jeff DeBell 
Somers Volunteer Fire Department 
Somers, Connecticut 
You should have seen our waiting 


list, Jeff. 
Ba 


PLAYBOY. 


It's a real deal. 12 issues of PLAYBOY for just $10. 
That's a $6.00 saving off the $16.00 single-copy price. 
d And the convenience! Delivered to your door-the wild 
humor . . . bewitching females . . . explosive 
fact, fiction, interviews . . . plus much 
more. Subscribe to PLAYBOY today. 


CU 


For phone service 


call TOLL-FREE 800-325-6400. 
In Missouri, call 800-342-6600. 


PLAYBOY, P.o. Box 2420, Boulder, Colorado 80302 
Name. 
Please enter my subscription for 7 
(0 3 years $24 (save $24.00 off $48.00 single-copy price) seat vnm, 
£ 1 year $10 (save $6 00 off $16.00 single-copy price) Address. Apt. No. 
D Bill me later. 
E] Payment enclosed Ci. State Zip. 
EJ Charge to my Playboy Club credit Key no. E CC VC ee 
T Tus z] lares and credit apply 10 U.S., . Poss., nada, 
E addresses only. 701 m 


SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CO.. NEW YORK, N.Y. 


OOF + 


VODKA » DISTILLED FROM GRAIN + 


— 
Start something 


av 


— `~ — 2 ah i 1 — 
with Wolfschmidt 
A vodka and tonic, a martini, 
a bloody mary, a screwdriver. 


Or anything else 
you have in mind. 


Wolfschmidt 
Genuine Vodka 


DAY: Longines G-II. High-visibility Liquid Crystal 
Display reads constantly. Reads cledrly — even in bright sun. 
Standard functions: date, hour, minute, continuous 
“hands off” seconds. Quartz accuracy. 


NIGHT: Same watch— Longines G-II. LED makes its 
own light by night. The touch of a button does it. Geil is two 
watches in one. And only Longines has Gel. 
$395 manufacturer's suggested retail price. 


No other watch on earth can do what this 
new Longines G-II is doing right here. 
It reads day and night. Repeat: day and night. 


Longines G-II is an engineering triumph. 
Look close. It’s both an LED and LCD. So 
G-I is brilliantly readable in any light. Day or 
night. Trust Longines to think of that! 

Inside G-II, behind that scratch-resistant 
mineral crystal, is an advanced computer chip 
that does the work of 1500 transistors. 1500! 
And G-II has no moving parts to wear out. 
Ever. It's pure solid state inside...and outside, 
the proud look of a Longines. 


G-II is a once-in-a-lifetime gift. There's no 
watch on earth quite like it. Come see this 
incredibly accurate, 100% solid state timepiece 
at your jeweler’s now. Someone you know is 
hoping for a Longines and counting on you. 


LonginesWittnauer 


WATCH COMPANY 


After all, time is the art of the Swiss. 8 


PLAYBOY AFTER 


ever shake hands with a Snowbird. 

In an article titled “Flying with the 
Snowbirds” (Snowbirds are the Canadian 
Armed Forces Aerobatic Team), Canadi- 
an Aviation stated: “Later, in the 409 
Squadron briefing room, the Snowbirds 
reviewed their performance from start- 
up to shutdown. Debriefing was accom 
plished with short, sharp ejaculations 
and a lot of hand movements. The men 
were not happy with what they had 
done.” 


. 
We always knew he was a dope. Former 
President Nixon has achieved a dubious 
honor in Egypt. Smugglers have named 
a type of hashish after him. 
. 

Stick it up your hypotenuse. According 
to the Victor Valley (California) College 
fall-semester bulletin, the mathematics 
department will be offering two courses 
in “Anal Geometry. 

. 

A star is born: An amateur astronomer 
in Raleigh, North Carolina, was looking 
through his telescope one night when 
he saw a strange movement taking 
place low in the sky. He looked out the 
window and promptly called the police, 
who arrested three men on the roof of a 
nearby store. The celestial phenomenon 
turned out to be the rise and fall of an 
x being used to chop a hole in the roof 

. 

The Bethlchem, Pennsylvania, Globe- 
Times reported an elderly nun stopped at 
the Five Points Adult Book Store, only to 
learn that her idea of adult books was not 
the same as of the store's manager. 
She thought it meant the store didn't sell 
children's books 


. 

Senator William Proxmire has been 
criticizing Government-financed research 
projects as time and money wasters. Spe. 
cifically, he questioned the usefulness of 
a $102,000 project to study the effects of 
alcohol on sunfish and a $90,000 project 


that attempts to turn rats into alcoholics. 
“Over the years,” said Proxmire, “they've 
spent literally millions of dollars to turn 
normal rats into rodent lushes with little 
or no success." 


. 

A blow for law and order from the 
Troy, New York, Times Record: “Mod- 
crate head increases crime; extreme heat 
curtails it.” 


e 
A California movie-theater marquee re- 
cently advertised the following double 
feature: The Happy Hooker and Your 
Three Minutes Are Up. 
. 


Must be a new form of orthodontia we 
haven't heard about yet. The following 
two classifieds were printed in the New 
Beach, Florida, News & Observer: 


le—False Teeth, size 36-B cup. 


son for selling: Too Small"; and “For 
Sale—Bra, like new. Reason for selling: 
Hurts my gums. 


And we thought he was hiding out in 
Argentina. . . . The Albanian govern- 
ment has proclaimed that all citizens 
whose names do not conform to the na- 
tion’s “political, ideological and moral 
standards" must change them. A govern- 
ment spokesman gave, as an. example, a 
woman whose last name is Hider. “We 
have so many nice Albanian names, such 
as Alban and Mimosa,” the official said. 
“They are certainly nicer than Hitler. 

5 

The Pensacola Journal reported the 
following bizarre story: "A shotgun- 
wielding Fort Walton Beach resident. 
caught the man he claims had been 
peeing through a window at his wife.” 

. 

Lawn enforcement: A Macomb Coun- 
ty, Michigan, woman kept getting wrong- 
number calls from people asking if the 
"grass is cut" and if it were “OK to pick 
up the g uspecting that marijuana 
dealers were trying to call suppliers, the 
lady managed to get the correct number 
nd gave it to the state police, who in- 
vestigated, The number turned out to be 
that of a sod farm. 


" 

A talk-show host in Vancouver, British 
Columbia, unfamiliar with Scottish cus- 
toms, asked a lady traveler who was 
describing her recent trip to Scotland to 
explain what a sporran is. (It’s the fur 
pouch worn at the front of a kilt.) With- 
out a moments hesitation, she replied: 
"It's that hairy thing that hangs between 
a Scotsman's leg; 


. 

Three Akron, Ohio, businessmen are 
marketing a deodorant called Mafia Pro- 
tection with the slogan "Your person: 
bodyguard.” 


To encourage borrowers, the San 
Francisco Public Library system has come 
up with the catchy slogan “There's more 
to libraries than meets the eye.” That 
phrase was proved more than accurate 


21 


PLAYBOY 


22 


when two library employees were caught. 
flagrante delicto under a table in the 
library commission chambers. Said San 
Francisco's city librarian, pooh-poohing 
the fuss: “This occurred during their 
luncheon break and involved no expense 
to the taxpayer. Unlike most proceedings 
in the commission chambers,” he added, 
“their efforts rose to a climax." 
. 

Inspired by the fact that the number 
of divorces in America last year exceeded 
1,000,000, Chicago photographer Louie 
Grenier has devised an interesting alter- 
native to the wedding album—a divorce 
album. For a fee of $200, Grenier offers 
to stay with the couple all day, taking 
lid shots of them during the divorce 
nples of what sort of 
es will result are: husband and wile 


pict 
arguing with each other; husband and 


wife dividing up possessions; bruises, 
black eyes and other physical manifesta- 
tions of “mental cruelty"; poses of the 
departing partner packing and portraits 
ol mistresses and boyfriends. 

. 

Isn't this carrying the Father of his 
Country image a little far? The Midwest 
Breeders Cooperative of Shawano, Wis- 
consin, is having a special Bicentennial 
Semen Sale. The ads, complete with a 
picture of George Washington, are offer- 
ing seven pipettes of semen for the price 
of 


PLAYBOY'S 


Voted in for their efforts to control 
overpopulation and sinus congestion: 
scientists at the Medical Research 
Institute in New Delhi, India, who 
recently developed a contraceptive 
nasal spray. 


HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS 


es, fellas, now 
Nod 
I mean you, can 


learn how to pick 
up girls in your 


time! "Tall 
short ones, 
thin ones, tubby 
ones, light ones 
and heavy ones— 
you name it. By 


following a few 
simple rules, even 
the weakest excuse 
among you will 
suddenly b 
pick up, w 
muscle strain, girls 
who weigh up to 
500 pounds—or 
your money back! 
By studying thc 
following fool- 
proof techniques, 
you'll learn not 
only how to pick 
them up but also 
how to avoid her- 
nias, how to utilize. 
modern lifting 
techniques, how to 
overcome timi 
how to deal with 
resistance and how 
to hold a girl in 
the air for as long as two hours! 

Just memorize a few of our guar- 
anteed techniques and you're on 
your way. 

The Direct Approach 


Some girls really get off on this ap- 
proach—for them there's nothing 
more charming and cavalier than a 
blatantly aggressive fellow who will 
walk up to them in a crowded bar 
and pick them up right off the floor. 
How can you do this? Simple. First of 
all, have confidence in your ability 
to move women. Be brash. (After all, 
a singles bar is no place for timidity.) 
Approach the girl, place your arms 
around her waist, bend your knees 
and just lift away. She’s bound to 
be impressed by your strength and 
charm! 


Over Your Back 
and Through the Bar 


Some girls just won't let you pick 
them up, no matter how suave and 
handsome you may be. They will fight 
you every step of the way. For this type 
of girl, there is only one approach— 
stand before her, subtly punch her in 
the jaw, sling her over your back and 
make your triumphant exit. This way 
you will encounter no resistance in 


“First of all, have 
confidence in your 
ability to move women.’ 


the pickup stage. 
Also, you'll cer- 
tainly be the life 
of the party! And 
remember: The 
unconscious pick- 
upce will most 
likely be more 
amenable to your. 
whims than the 
conscious one. 


Feet First 


Just because the 
normal female 
stance calls for 
feet on floor, 
head in air, is no 
reason to limit 
yourself to an or- 
dinary vertical 
pickup. Be imagi- 
native! Approach 
her, squat down 
casually and feign 
interest in her 
choc leather. Then, 
while she's not 
looking, grab her 
by the ankles and 
sweep her up. You 
will literally have 
swept her off her 
feet! If done with 
finesse, this tech- 
nique resembles the old pull-thetable- 
cloth-from-under-the-dinnerware trick. 
Done ineptly, it resembles the old 
pull-the-dinnerware-off-the-able trick. 


Cranes and Forklifts 


"Ihanks to the wonders of modern 
technology, you, too, can pick up 
girls who outweigh you by up to 400 
pounds with a mere flick of a switch. 
Forklifts are both cheaper and easier 
to m er than cranes, but there's 
stakable panache in 
picking up a girl with a crane. Just 
k of it—there she is, standing on 
a corner one minute and the next 
moment she’s 50 feet above the ground 


in the shovel of your cranel 
Explosives 
If everything else fails, if you 
simply can't pick her up by using 


those techniques, try this: Plant a 
bomb firmly under the girl's fect; 
weak explosive can raise a station- 
ary girl at least five feet for several 
seconds. And it's no strain on your 
muscles at all. The only trick is get- 
ting the girl to stand still while you 
place a small bomb under her shoes, 
but if she finds you attractive and 
amiable, this should be no problem 
at all. — JOHN BLUMENTHAL 


“A LESSON IN 


ARROW DYNAMIC” 


Tilt-steerin: 
column and inside 
hood release 


Aerodynamic styling 
which provides stability 
in crosswinds, also 
gives us a very sharp. 
looking Arrow. 


The optional Silent- 
Shaft engine is most 
likely the quietest and 
smoothest 4-cylinder 
around 


Standard power 
front disc brakes and 
variable-ratio steering 


for superb handling 


NEW PLYMOUTH ARROW has some important points 
every economy car could learn from. First, Arrow 
prices start at $3,1751. And that price includes 
extras you can't even order on Rabbit, Pinto, and 
Chevette. But if you want your Arrow packed with even 
more goodies, order an Arrow GS, priced at only 
$3,3B31. Ora fancy Arrow GT at $3,748. 

And Arrow's gas economy is also 
something to boast about. That's why we 
put it in those big numbers at the right. 

But economy doesn't stop there. 
Arrow is made to be easily serviced, too. 
The oil plug and filter are accessible from above the 


engine. So, you can change the oil and filter yourself. 


And if you've ever listened to the radio in a 
four-cylinder economy car, you know the engine 
sometimes gets louder than the radio. Now comes 


Arrow's available Silent-Shaft four-cylinder engine. 


Standard comfort 
features like reclining 
bucket seats and 
tinted glass 


Like all Chrysler built 
cars, Arrow is covered 
by a warranty so stron 
we call it “The Clincher” 


E HA ESTIMATES* 


59724 


hwy. G city 


1600 cc Arrow GT, 5-speed. 


Arrow comes with a 
hatchback standard with 
enough room for over 
16 bags of groceries. 


Arrow prices range 
from $3,175-$3,748. 
So you can order a 
straight Arrow ar a 
fancy Arrow. 


Arrow can use 


Flow-through 
leaded ar unleaded gas 


ventilation System 
helps keep the windows 
from fogging 


Talk about quiet, it's even guieter and smoother 
thana six-cylinder engine 

Just because Arrow is a little economy car, 
doesn't mean it has a little economy warranty. Read 
Arrow's warranty and you'll see what we mean: For 
the first 12 months of use, any Chrysler Corporation 
dealer will fix, without charge for parts or 
labor, any part of our 1976 passenger cars 
we supply (except tires) which proves 
defective in normal use, regardless of 
mileage. You're only responsible for nor- 
mal maintenance like changing filters 
and wiper blades. And a warranty this strong just 
has to be called “The Clincher” 

Congratulations. You've just finished “A Lesson In 
Arrow-Dynamics:’ Now the test. Put down this book. 
Take out an Arrow at your Chrysler-Plymouth dealer. 
You'll get the point we've been trying to make. 


Introducing Plymouth Arrow. gim 
What more can a little car give? 


CHRYSLER 
CORPORATION 


+Sticker price. excluding taxes and destination charges. Options on car pictured: wheel rings ($32), cloth-and-vinyl seats and stripe ($48) 
"Your actual mileage may differ depending on your driving habits, your car's condition, and its optional equipment. Calif. mileage lower. 


24 


SPORTS 


or a few days every July, 
Fine city of San Di 
drops the cloak of conserva- 
usm shielding it from the 
rest of South: Cali 
that enclave of eccentri 
that brought you everyil 
from plastic grass to mush- 
room milk shakes, in order 
to host the Over-the-Line 
World Championship (Cap- 
tain Pizzgums and His Per- 
verted Pirates 6, Mufldivers 
3). A couple of thousand 
sun-struck competitors gath- 
er to play a game invented 
on San Diego's Mission 
Beach 23 years ago; accord- 
ng to the sponsoring Old 
Mission Beach Athletic 


(Chicken Pot Pies 20, Star 
angled Boners 9) the Ye- 


since they don't pla 
ball in Mexico, they 
have the proper equip- 
ment; at first they used 
table legs and coconuts for 
bats t balls, which was 
because after ev- 


back into the jungle for 
more balls. 
problem by persuading a 
wood carver to whittle a bat 
of softwood for him (Damn 
Rabbit Died 4, Eddic 

à 4 rs 2) and 
g a baseball with 


Club, that puts the O. T. I. 
tourney (Valley Yodelers 14, 
Downtown Dildos 12) right 


behind the Pan-American 
Games, participationwise. 
Less partisan observers 


claim it’s more like the 
West Coast's answer to East- 
er weck at Fort Laude: 

‘The idea, as quick 
readers may have deduced, 


“The top teams take the game seriously, 
which mostly means they're sober when 


they play. Serious fans can be readily 


spotted, because (Gobble, Nibble and Chew 
11, Scrotum Strokers 5) they're the ones 3 


facing the playing field." 


m reached the bor 
der at Nogales with $43, 
t $41 of that on a plane 
ticket to San Di and 
there he was, as he is every 
year, watching his mother, 
Scuz Parker, play for the 
s Throats (Tee 
Weenies forfei 
Inch Hardballers). “lm just 
your average fan," said 


is for cach team to display 
as much ingenuity as pos- 


from ycars gone by have included. 
and The Foreskins, The Public Wealth. 
The Titles Trio, 
y Napkins, The Beaver Ballers, 
s Prefer Blondes, The Fonda Peter 
an Club, The Tenacious Testicles, "Ehe 
All Prophylacties and The Nutcracker 


years tournament is scheduled 
for July 10-11 and 17-18; if, as seems 
likely nything like last year's, what 
spectators are in lor is a good, clean dis 
play of dirty imaginations (Three Ugly 
Roots 13, Barnacle Balls Finds Hairpie 
10). In the 1975 tourney, about 1200 
games were played, making more scores 
(Trouser Snakes 7, Master Batters 4) than 
it’s possible to include here. But some of 
the more important ones will be fla 
throughout this report, which explains 


dering about. Like this: Coming Up the 
Stick’em and Cum 10. 
s like softball, only simpler. 


The game 
Each team has three players. A softball 
is gently lobbed to the batter by a team- 


mate and he or she tries to hit it over a 
line with boundaries on each side. It's 
a hit if none of the three fielders from 
the other team catches it. There are (Late 
Comers 4, Boston Red Cocks 3) no base 


after the third per in- 
Each game lasts five 

If that sounds about as thrilling 
checkers, consider the pow 
exerted by the Wool Division for women 
(Six Tits and Thr ts 6, Three Easy 
Pieces 2), with teams like Andy's Birds, 
known around Andy's Saloon as the Bird 


ful attraction 


1973 a Coors- 
dubious measure of 
immortality by slurring, "Emerson 
boobs, lady, 
served the c 
about every woman there, and his style 
was so much in keeping with the O. 
ethos that the athletic club made 
official cheer. Gries of “Emerson! 
son!” now echo throughout the throng.) 
The top teams (Pull the Wool Under 
Your Eyes 5, Oral Roberts’ Waist High 
Revival 3) take the game seriously, which 
mostly means theyre sober when they 
play, and there are even some serious fans, 
who can be readily spotted because 
(Gobble, Nibble and Chew 11, Scrotum 
Strokers 5) they're the ones facing the 
playing field. One such serious fan is Sam 
ker. In order to be at last year's tour- 
mock in 
o, where he was turning 


(The story goes that i 
craved fan achieved 


n. 
After four days, 50,000 
spectators (all for free), thousands more 
empty beer cans (collected for recycl 
by local boy scouts wearing ear mulls 
hundreds of jugs of wi 
stuck in the sand, 
the bay (Need à 


e, dozens of ca 
t least one driven into 

Screw 10. Tunnel 
Tonguers 6) and a few dogfights—the 
tourney site on Fiesta Island was Mission 
Beach's dog run and the dogs, being ter- 
ritorial creatures, seemed her to 
understand nor to apprecia 
sion—the finals were pl the 
Wool Division, thrce local junior high 
school phys-ed teachers who, after school, 
called themselves the Uncocks (Glad-He- 
AteHers 7, Buster Hymen and His Two 
Bloody Buddies 3), their peeling noses 
testimony to their hours of practice, 
topped the Sandwenches, 2-1. And 
the Open I n, George Brown's Hot 
Rocks beat the Top Shelf Ramblers, who 
were the heavies because no one could 
figure out what their name meant. The 
Hot Rocks won the final, 14-4, despite a 
carlier, humiliating loss to the Ramblers, 


As the sun and dust settled over Fiesta 
Island and the dogs moved back in, Scuz 
Parker was heard to wonder aloud, 
“Wouldn't it be nice if next year Old 
Faceful would let me be their bat girl?” 
Lenny Bruce would have loved it. 


IN"THE BARREMOLEN; 
A 300-YEAR OLD 
WINDMILL IN 
HOLLAND, 

IS SERVED 


IS DEDICATED 
JO VAN MUNCHING & CO. 
| OFNEW YORK, 
.. EXCLUSIVE IMPORTERS 
OF HEINEKEN BEER 
AND TO AMERICAN TASTE, 
WHICH MADE HEINEKEN 
AMERICAS #1 
œ~ = IMPORTED BEER. 


| THE WINDMILL 


5LongGreen 
Sportstakes from 


Benson 


&Hedges 


Menthol 100. 


Which of these sports do you go for? Enter that sweepstakes. Or, if 
you can't decide where the grass looks greener, enter all five. Each first 
prize, described below, includes $1,000 spending money with travel and 
accommodations first class all the way. And each sweepstakes also has 
a second prize of $1,000 and a third prize of $500. 

lTheTennistakes offers a week-long trip for two to your choice of one 
of four Laver-Emerson Tennis Resorts. You can pick the time and climate 
topick up tips on tennis from the greatest names in the game. 

2. The Racingstakes takes two to the Derby. Not the one in Kentucky, but 
to its forerunner in England at Epsom Downs. This trip includes airfare to 
London, a week at the Savoy Hotel, theatre and Derby tickets and gives 
you a rental car (British racing green, of course) to take you to the races. 

3.The Superstakes is a trip fortwo to the Super Bowl, coming up Janu- 
ary 9th at the Rose Bowl, in Pasadena, with a week's stay at a Beverly 
Hills luxury hotel, and includes a side trip for a night in Las Vegas. 

A4TheGolfstakes takes two to the Del Monte Lodge at Pebble Beach, 
with a room overlooking the 18th hole and Carmel Bay. It includes the 
greens fees and the caddies fora CCC 
week, and a dozen balls to Whack | voce roter oi the Spormtokes youwish to eren in the poce provided 
into the green Pacific. VVT 


Lond pri your name, addres, i code on you ea, dde wahre 
5The Seriestakes takes a pair “emor a Hedra Merta te bende ona rem peor ee 

of you back and forth between the sy erd exu rus bs rd opc 1o Banon à eaaa OT 

two World Series cities, so you'll rruaniscewesty Sere erige Time 

see every game. Wherever you go, * 5 

your travel, accommodations and 

series tickets will be the best that 

money can buy. Win this one and 7 

your friends will be green. ec 


e Contest open 10 all US. residents over 21 years of oge, except employees 
‘ond their families of Php Morris re. 
i odeertiseg ogercies ord Notonal 
“hedging Insite, Ine Ts offer 1s sub- 
fect to all lederal, sole ond locol 
lows. Void in Missouri ond wherever 
‘prohibited, retricied ce toned 

ker Fist olwinners send stomped, 
self-oddrened envelope to Benson 
& Hedges Winners Lat, P.O. Box 
21494, Westbury, NY. 11501. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


i | City 


Benson & Hedges 1008 
| PO. Box 2101, Westbury, N.Y. 11591 


I want to go for long Green 
Sportstakes No. 


l Name. 
| Street. 


State. Zip. 


Hond print nome, address, zip code cn entry. include with it bottom peer 


| keen two packs of Berson & Hedges Menthol 100s or the words "Berson B 
Hedges Menthol 100%" hond pened ono plon pese of paper. 
IMPORTANT: You rca OE ST rcs 
| ing onthe outide ol e "fe lower chon comer, 
17 mg. "tar; 1.1 mg. nicotine, 
av. per cigarette—hard pack, by FIC Method; 
18 mg. "ter; 1.1 mg. nicotine, 
av. per cigarette — soft pack, FTC Report. Nov. 75. 


28 


r the theatrical world, satire is 
what closes on Saturday night. 
For the perei adolescents at 
the National Lampoon, however, 
this bic of conventional wisdom 
is just so much grist for their year- 
round, multimedi. rody mill. 
The most recent object of their 
collective raspberry is that old 
war horse rock "n' roll, and on 
Good-bye Pop 1952-1976 (Epic), the 
‘Poon gang gives musical fads of 
the past two and a half decades 
the R.LP. treatment through its 
by now familiar burlesques of 


Bob Dylan, Neil Young. soul, 
country, reggae and English art 
rock The trouble is that, with 


the exception of the Neil Young 


Good-bye Pop: wooden eulogy. 


send-up, the tunes themselves are 
either wooden and uninspired or, 
as in Kung Fu Christmas and The 
B Side of Love, smarmy and con. 
descending. The best bits by far 
are the brief appearances of the 
unflappably hip FM decjay Mel 
Brewer and his polar opposite, the 


“Most recent object of National 


Lampoon's collective raspberry is that 


old war horse rock 'n' roll." 


fact that her Berlitz Germa 
none too perfect and you n 
asleep before the last cut on side 
two. Which would be your loss, 
because I Loved You, written by 
Ogerman and based on a poem 
of Pushkin's, is the best thing on 
the record. Claus plays piano ac 
companiment beautifully, chord- 
and filling in a modal style. 
is the only song Barbra sings 
in English, and suddenly every 
word is clear. They've miked her 
much more closely for this cut, 
apparently not needing to mask 
her foreign-language difficultic: 
This sort of production cheating 
is not “straightforward,” we sub- 
mit—Bernstein to the contrary 
As to the album's enormous ap- 
peal, we prefer hor pasua 
. 

To the handful of Jama 
reggae groups that are finding 
popularity here, we may now 
hopefully add Burning Spear. 
Its first American release, Marcus 


maniacally inane promo man, 
Ron Fields, characters from the 
carlier Radio Hour. In fact, aside 
from the engaging lunacy of 
the promo man’s hype for wailing 
songs, the best thing about the 
LP is the explanatory notes on 


the back. And those you can read 
in the record store. 
° 


Brass Fever (ABC Impulse) is a 
knockout of a record, filled 
with driving ensemble work and 
breathtaking solos. George Bo- 
hanon, Charlie Loper, Kai Wind- 
ing and Frank Rosolino make up 
the trombone choir on side one; 
Bohanon, Loper and Garnett 
Brown handle the chores on side 
two, while trumpeter Oscar Brash- 
car plays both sides. Jerome Rich. 
ide 
f ad flutist 
Buddy Colleue are heard on side two. 
But whatever the configuration, Brass 
Fever moves along at fever pitch, whether 
s Donovan's Sunshine Superman or 
Bach Bone, which turns Johann Sebast 
ide out. There are no "stars" on this 
fourstar production, but the cast is 


ardson is gs rced man on 


Barbra Streisand singing 
r and French art songs. IIS 
g hot pastrami with Béarnaise 
? Wrong; according to Lenny 
Classical Barbra (Columbia) is a 
“sensitive, straightforward and enormou 
ly appealing performance.” The truth is 
that, as her career in the movies shows, 
the lady seems alllicted with a need to 


Burning Spear: solid reggae. 


shift fields and demonstrate for the 
world how protean her talent is. So now 
it's classical art songs, tomorrow it may 
he Gospel music. The album in question 
is produced by Claus Ogerman, whom 
you may remember for his fine late-Sixtics 
pop scoring; his string voicings are un- 
mistakable and, on  Brezairola and 
auré's Pavone, fit perfectly with Streis- 
and’s dreamy, low-keyed approach, But, 
in fact, the album is just plain monot- 
onous, though there is a variety of m 

terial: a selection from Orffs Carmina 
Burana, lieder by Wolf and Schumann, 
two Fauré songs and Handel's great a 

Lascia Ch'io Pianga, along with Dank se 
Dir, Herr. Only the last seems to chal- 
lenge Streisind to emerge from her 
dreamy romantic funk. Add to this the 


Corvey (Island), is fine, solid al- 
bum throughout, revealing Spear 
as more I. back than cither the 
Wailers or the Maytals and heav- 
ier into the African clement of 
reggae than both. Most of the ten 
songs were written, and all were 
arranged, by Burning Spear 
leader Winston Rodney, and they 
are intensely rhythmic, chantlike 
nd hypnotic. Individual songs do. 
not stand out as, say, 7 Shot the 
Sheriff or Pressure Drop did; 
rather, the music forms a con- 
tinuam that pleases and soothes 
the stoned consciousness without 
demanding full attention. This 
is great music for nonhysterical 
parties, making love and, perhaps, 
extremely hip elevator 
. 

Before the debut album of The 
Salsoul Orchestra (Salsoul) was available, v. 
dio stations were already playing just 
about all of the cuts from Tangerine 
(brought back virtually intact, which 
proves th: n old fruit is good eon 
you can always squeeze out a little more 
juice) to the disco-sexy Chicago Bus Stop. 
And, as we went to press, a local station 
was giving free copies of the record to any 
new listeners who called in. The music— 
produced and mostly arranged by Vince 
Montana, Jr. who plays vibes with 
MESB—is supposed to bc a combination 
of Philadelphia disco soul and a little. 
Latin lupe lu. As it turns out, it’s mostly 
Philadelphia, and it’s also very good, 
especially Salsonl Hustle, Tale of Three 
Cities and Love Letters, a ballad on 
which Montana does some very nice 


GERMAN SPORTSCAR, 
l'ALIAN-STYLE.GO 


We knew we had a winning combination. Because we were going to produce a true 

sportscar with absolutely impeccable credentials. German engineering and Italian styling. We 
gave this automobile a 1.6 liter overhead cam engine. And out on the track, 

itstormed from Oto 50 ina mere 7.5 seconds. It knew its way around a corner, too, Front-wheel 
drive, rack-and-pinion steering, and front disc brakes for responsive stopping. 

The car was hotall right, but not too hot to handle. To match this kind of performance we wanted 
outstanding design, We went to Signor Giugiaro, the acknowledged master of 

automotive styling. And the results (as you can see for yourself) were simply stunning. So now 
there is Scirocco. Earning a reputation on the racetrack, turning heads on the street. 

Amazing what you can do with a little help from your friends. ovckswogen of Ame s. 


PLAYBOY 


30 


C(—— 


* Test terminated at 24 hours. Lack ot pressure. 
build-up was abnormal indicating internal leakage. 


Anew kind of 
oil filter for 
an incredible job. 


The 
Silver 
Bullet. 


In 7500 miles of driving (average 
speed 40 mph) your oil filter cycles 
approximately 28,000 gallons of oil! 


An incredible job. So STP 
builds two filter elements 
inside this new Double Oil 
Filter. All your oil goes 
through both, every pass 
through the canister. 
Result: The Silver Bullet 
gives you a better combi- 
nation of long life and high 
efficiency than any of the 

5 other best-selling filter 


pi 


— 


=I 


ra 


more than 60 feet long. wound 
on asteet core. Your cil goes 
through both anproximately 
onceevery 30seconcs! 


brands. Of these best-sellers, only 


The Silver Bullet 


filters all your oil 
twice. Isn't that the 


TTT 


Blvd. Ft Lauderdale. Florida 33310. 


sults, certilied by The American Standards Testing 
inc. Fora more complete test report write: 


kind of protection 
^ your engine 
deserves? 


©1976 STP Corp. O 


Filter all your oil twice with The Silver Bullet. 


things with his mallets. Of course, when 
you think about the money that's be- 
hind him, how could he not cut a good 
record? Or, with that promotional cam- 
paign out front, how could it fail to sell? 

. 

Far too many people have the idea 
that listening to Chicago blues, especial- 
ly as played by white musicians, is some. 
thing that one did at an early age and 
then grew out of, like reading Catcher 
in the Rye and spending one's sopho- 
more year feeling like Holden Caulfield. 
This silly attitude is unfair not only to 
the great black bluesmen but also to the 
white performers who've stuck with the 
music since its fall from popular grace. 
Chief among the latter is Paul Butter 
field, whose two excellent albums for 
Bearsville surpassed anything he did in 
his Born in Chicago days. Now, after a 
two-ycar hiatus, Butter is back with Put Ir 
in Your ker (Bearsville), which features his 
brilliant harp playing and strong vo- 
cals big band blues sctting that's as 
audacious, and successful, as anything 
he’s done. Veteran producer Henry 
Glover (Dinah Washington, Ray Charles, 
Hank Ballard), working with a 25-piece 
band, has fleshed out Butterſield's ex- 
panded musical ideas without oyerwhelm- 
ing his unique musical personality, and 
it's a credit to both of them that big- 
band Butter sounds better than ever. 

. 

Jimmy Buffett could be called the 
Rona Barrett of the folk-club circuit: 
The songs on Havera Daydreamin’ (ABC) 
chronicle the social lives of the enig- 
matic floaters who inhabit roadhouses 
and night clubs, the beautiful ladies 
barely visible through the smoke, inevi- 
tably too fucked up to mess with (but 
the closer you get to closing time, the 
less that seems to matter). Buffett's been 
touring with a band this and the 
album shows it: The music is stronger, 
with a toe-tapping, asskicking romp, 
which is perfectly suited to the lyric con- 
tent. Buflett has never been classed with 
Nashville's country-and-western outlaws, 
but there is more outrageousness and ir- 
reverence on this album than you'll find 
on all of Waylon Jennings, et al. 


. 

Stanley Clarke may have a large fol- 
lowing that considers him the top bassist 
today, but we have to say that every time 
we hear Ron Carter, wc can't belicve that 
there's anyone who can touch him. Any- 
thing Goes (Kudu) finds the eminent bass- 
ist in charge of a group that includes 
flutist Hubert Laws, guitarist Eric Gale, 
reed man Phil Woods and the Brecker 
brothers, all of whom contribute yeoman 
service; but if you listen dose (and some 
times it doesn't have to be that close), 
you'll hear the dark spirit of Carter's 
bass suffusing the five tracks. Not over- 
powering them, mind you—just supply- 
ing the perfect rhythmic force ficld 
to make the session something special. 


Once you taste white rum 
and Schweppes, other tonic drinks just 
wont stand a chance. 


One taste and you become 
totally involved with this delight- 
fully refreshingdrink. In a matter 
ofminutes you become a staunch 
proponent. 
Isthat really possible after so 
many years of gin and tonics or 
| vodka and tonics? 
It's possible— 
if the whiterum 
comes from 
Puerto Rico and 
the tonic is 
1 Schweppes. 
Only in Puerto Rico are white 
rums aged for smoothness under 
the law. 
And only Schweppes tonic 
water is made from imported 
essence to give it that curiously 
refreshing taste. 
"Together these two tastes 
seem to fuse into a whole new 
kind of summer drink. Something 
indescribably soft and clean-tasting. 
Next to white rum and 
Schweppes, other tonic "fü 


won'tstand a chance. 
PUERTO RICAN RUMS 


| ©1976, Commonwealth of PuenoRicc 


director Michael Ritchie did in 
mile to tecnaged beauty contests he 
n The Bad News Bears to do to Little 
League baseball (referred to only as "sand- 
lot ball” on film, because timorous Little 
League officials wanted no part of dugout 
profanity by both kids and coaches). The 
Bears, whose jersey pullovers identify 
CHICO'S DAIL noNDS as the team's sponsor, 
e ruthlessly exploited, in much the same 
way the girls of Smile were, by status- 
conscious adult achievers with their own 
es to grind. Ritchie's satirical jabs are, 
however, Iar lighter in Bears, based on a 
first script by 26-year-old Bill Lancaster 
(Burt's son), who writes amiably as well 
as knowledgeably about fair play, pop 
flies and the fierce will to win. Swarms 
of precocious youngsters, led by Tatum 
O'Neal as a 12-year-old ace pitcher, 
would certainly steal every scene from an 
ordinary actor. Working under the gim- 
let eye of Waker Matthau, they are lucky 
to steal a few bases; without him, in fact, 
their sassy suburban cuteness might cloy 
pretty fast. Matthau, easily the most lov- 
able movie grouch since Wallace Beery, 
plays a drunken minor-league has-been 
who earns his livelihood as a cleaner of 
Califo g pools and accepts a 
spare-time job 82 155 to transform a team 
of fumbling sprouts into champions. He 
stans by teaching a couple of them to 
make a good dry martini. The movie's 
concentrated action seldom moves off the 
playing field, and its minimacho gags 
shatter every taboo a PG rating allows— 
which simply means that juvenile beer 
guzzling and jockstap jokes are ruled. 
OK. While no way related to the Di 
definition of a wholesome family 
Bad News Bears is ultimately a senti- 
mental ode to the spirit of good sports- 
manship, or maybe a blow for kids lib. 
But how many message movies have 
Matthau on deck to guarantee a grand- 
slammer? 


. 
Perhaps big romantic movies by, for 
and about adults are not dead yet. 
Though it olten seemed—back in the 
rash when youth culis were in 
flower—that nothing of real imporiance 
could possibly happeu to people over 30, 
director Richard Lester's Robin and Marian 
challenges the vogue for kid stuff with 
literate and wordly wise updating of the 
Robin Hood legend by author James 
(A Lion in Winter) Goldman. Sean 
Connery and Audrey Hepburn (she grace- 
fully aged and gorgeous after an eight- 
year absence from movies) poke sly fun 
in the title roles while adding superstar 
authority to a larger-than-life grown-up 
love story. Unlike Errol Flynn's wart 
nd Olivia de Havilland's chaste 
Maid Marian of yesteryear, these 13th 

32 Century social revolutionaries—both on 


MOVIES 


Bears hits a four-bagger. 


"These 13th Century 
social revolutionaries— 
both on the far side of 
40—behave as if they 
actually sleep togethei 


Robin and Marian: 
adult romance. 


the far side of 40—bchave as if they actu- 


ally sleep together. As Goldman and 
Lester tell it, 20 long ycars have passed 


ince Robin gave up robbing the rich to 
help the poor; for a change, he went off to 
the Holy Land to fight Richard the Lion- 
hearted's religious wars but found the 
Crusades "a disappointment Home 
again with his trusty Little John (Nicol 
Williamson), Robin meets bailadeers sing- 
ing songs about him, mostly untrue, and 
sees that the uncqual justice of yore is as 
unequal as ever. The graying, displaced 
folk hero also learns that his fair Mar 
first tried si then became an abbess, 
when the Sherwood Forest gang broke 
up. hat in hell do you want? You 
mever wrote," she says, 
cally through her cow don't know 
how," he answers [cebly. Lester's droll 
but poignant fable for our time looks like 
the millions it must have cost, even if the 
stunning locations in Spain bear 
resemblance to olde Englande. Yet there 
is much more to all this jesting and 
jousting than meets the eye. Punctuating 
the three principals’ every line with a 
new wrinkle, Robert SI Richard 
is, Jan Holm and Denholm Elliott 
brandish their broadswords and match 
wits to make a point—proving age can- 
not wither a sophisticated adventure film 
that absolutely revels in maturity. 
. 

All the President's Men on film is w 
peachable as an accurate, engrossing and 
gritty inside view of invest e journal- 
The book by Washington Post 
reporters Carl Bernstein and Bob Wood- 
ward gave the fascinating facts about 
the movie shows the real 
sweat and hustle that went into geuing 
them. But that’s about it, Maybe we 
already know too much about Water- 
gate; we learn little here. A more ven 
turesome movie might have explored 
fully—instead of coyly hinting at—the 
provocative notion that Bernstein and 
Woodward, in hot pursuit of their story, 
were as prone to deceit and coercion as 
your average White House henchman. To 
their credit, the authors took a harder 
look at themselves than the film makers 
do. Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford 
(as Bernstein-Woodward) are both mag- 
netic, conscientious actors whose mere 
presence hypes President's Men as lively 
entertainment. though their star power 
finally overwhelms the film itself. Gener- 
ally, director Alan J 


newshounds—a pair of mismatched 
flies with chutzpah to spare—cither doing 
their tough door-to-door legwork or joi 
ing citysoom huddles (with Jason Ro- 
bards as Post editor Ben Bradlee, Mari 
Balsam and Jack Warden as sccondaank 
Postmen). Washington, D.C., shot by cin- 
ematographer Gordon Willis, looks like 
an ideal setting for murky intrigue, and 
Pakula keeps his Watergate calendar 


The Playtoy ub 


f INTERNATIONAL KEY 


i i | 1 
123 $56 3855. 0 PP It’s Superkey! 
OES . ^ 
lj JOSN DOES —' A WI Cleverly disguised as a simple but handsome plastic card, 
8 5776 of ‘Superkey is in reality the card that can admit you to 


the new world of The Playboy Club, where there’s more 
going on for keyholders than ever before. 


Superkey Specials Superkey- : Hort 
With your Key, you can pick up your uperke 
choice of PLAYBOY or OUI at the Able to 95 cs 
Club each month for a year. That's Transform and save 
at IR $15.50 value, yours at no Strangers ROO how. Sewa 
extra charge. ; 5 ey the next time you 
And your Key is all you need to par- | „7 into Friends! | check into a Playboy 
ticipate in our new Keyholders | With your Key, you're | Hotel. Just for being a 
Specials, a unique program of spe- | Welcomed asairiendat | keyholder, you save 
cial events and surprises exclusive- | Playboy Clubs every- | 10% off the rate of 
ly for keyholders. You'll want to stop | Where. And now Su- | your room. And whal 
in often at the Club to keep up with | perkey can take youto | hotels! Year-round 
al Wete lani e TOC Ul new Clubs in Cincin- | playgrounds, the 
nali, New York (with | Playboy Resort at Lake = 
five floors of rooms for | Geneva, Wisconsin, Superkey Fights Boredom 
sipping, supping and | and the Great Gorge IT 5 
e eee in Every Club City! 
and St. Louis (the first | New Jersey. A tropical | It's your invitation to terrific entertain- 
of our innovative mini- hideaway, the Playboy ment, like Bunnies 756 Revue, a lively 
Clubs planned for the | Resort at Ocho Rios, | cabaret spectacular that's somewhere 
city). There's a new | Jamaica. And big-city | between the Gold Diggers and 
Club in the making in | sophistication at Chi- | Laugh-In. And the Revue is making 
New Orleans, too. cago's Towers Hotel. | its way to every Playboy Club across 
the country. (Cheer on the 
‘To: Playboy Clubs International, Inc. 8100 10 Peas Bromine 
DE NORE Michigan pe petes in the nationally televised 
Chicago, Ilinois 60611 Bunny of the Year Pageant. 


E A Check your local papers for 
| want to order a Playboy Club International Key! time and station.) 


(please print) 
Apt. No. 


How to Get Your 


Preferred to Cincinnati. With a — — Siete. 4p 

H U.S. initial Key fee i: 5. dii itia] is Sz na- y yA 
Proferred Passbook (available [| Wi hs! te fe S25 Canad a Kea issa gra; M Playboy Club Key. 
to all keyholders at no extra an Annual Key Fee billed to you at the close of each yearasa ! Just complete and mail the 
charge) you can enjoy two-for- e coupon on this page or the 
one dinners at some of Cincin- will pay for my Key as follows. ^s Special postpaid card. And 
nati's finest restaurants. The inpet) e E] BankAmericard we'll speed your Key on its 
Passbook is good for special arte Blanche HI Diners Ciub C] Master Charge way. At the end of your first 
discounts at selected hotels, Credit Card No. Exp. Date. year as a keyholder, you'll also 
too. And Cincinnati is just the [O Bill me later have an opportunity to renew 
beginning for Playboy Pre- II Signature your Key for a second year by 
ferred. Watch for it! el paying an Annual Key Fee. 


We've just introduced Playboy 


A rare way to celebrate 
Fathers Day: 


therare taste of J& B. 


PLAYBOY 


TE i LATE AGTA HERS 


THE PRINCE OF WALES (1921-183) 


"aea on cann 


mat PRODUCT orscortawo MPO 
mne access ‘conronarion KEW TORE 


34 


straight by plugging it into TV coverage 
of Nixon's 1972 campaign. But scre 
writer William Goldman's literal adap 
tion stops short pages away from where 
the book ended—even prior to the 
Haldeman-Ehrlichman re 
touching only the first act of an incredible 

al drama, John Dean is barely men- 
while “frequent references to 
Liddy, Colson, Chapin, Mitchell, Klein- 
dienst and Kalmbach flow into a scramble 
of Watergate name-dropping that a casual 
observer—or a desert-is 


ions—thus 


nd outcast who 
missed the show live—might find puzzling 
without benefit of some heavy advance 
homework. Among the conspirators and 
informants portrayed, Jane Alexander 
steals her scene as the possessive, skittish 
bookkeeper at C.R.E.E.P., while Hal Hol- 
brook plays Deep Throat (Woodward's 
mysterious, um 
as if he we 
Dracula. Ultimately, there's a cautiousness 
in the movie version of President's Men 
that keeps it from being the blockbuster 
everyone anticipated. For real excitement, 
go back and read the book. (Or its sequel, 
The Final Days; see “Books,” page 40.) 


Mother is dying of cancer, father is 
full of drunken despair and their favor- 
ite son comes home to Watts from a 
hitch in the Air Force. Whether to join 
the black revolution or to help himself 
and his people by going to law school 
seems to be Jeff's choice in The River Niger, 


River Niger: 
muddy waters. 


based on an award-winning play staged 
by New Yorks Negro Ensemble Com. 
pany. Black playwrights need room to 
develop, granted, but a movie screen may 
not be the ideal place to display their 
growing pains. Cicely Tyson, James Earl 
Jones and Glynn Turn carry the 
three central roles with skill and dignity 
struggling through dialog so 
steeped in social truth that one character 
can't ask another to pass the sugar with- 
out coming upon a clue to author Joseph 
A. Walker's larger purpose. As a house 
painter-poet in the L.A. slums, Jones 
declares th: jack can eat, sleep, piss, 
shit, screw, . for God's sake, stop 


Zip...zip...zip— Zippered pockets and front closure accent the clean crisp styling of this Lee Separate Suit 
(jacket about $28.50, pants about $20) of texturized 100% Dacron® polyester. Available in biscuit, dusty green, 
tan, teal blue and rust. The added touch: a silk-like Lee Shirt (about $18), featuring a cool polar landscape print. 
The Lee Company, 640 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10019 (212) ES Š 


A company of V corporation 


PLAYBOY 


thinkin’ ts the white man’s sick- 
ness." Yet the words we hear are mostly 
rhetoric disguised as folk poetry, in 
the manner. of Clifford Odets and other 
prophets of the people back in the 
Thirties. A director named Krishna Shah 
mounted this adaptation in a style so 
theatrical that River Niger's plots and 
subplots often collide oncamera. One 
hall expects to catch a glimpse of stage- 


hands hovering in the wings. pointedly 
munching soul food. 
. 

heno life is examined from a 


pier angle in Sparkle, which describes 
how one sweet young songbird escapes it 
via rhythm-and-blues—after tuning up 
n Harlem as part of a trio deeply in- 
debted 10 The Supremes of early Mo- 
town. Though Curtis Mayficld’s score 
thumps along sounding like top-ofthe 
chart hits from the Fifties, as it should, 
Sparkle generally resembles a B-movie 
version of Mahogany, with newcomer 
Irene Cara warmly singing her heart 
ow—maybe to help you forget that she’s 
decidedly not Diana Ross. Sparkle falls 
in love, and sullers, and gives it all up. 
nd ultimately returns to make the 


time in a happy ending as soppy as 
Mahogamys was. Such pap often puts 


movie exhibitors into the black in more 
ways than one, so there ought to be 
casy pickings in this musical hope opera 
concocted for the featurefilm. debut of 
TV director and movie editor Sam 
O'Steen (whose editing credits include 
Carnal Knowledge and Chinatown). The 
debut to note, however, is that of sultry 
actressinger Loneue McKee as Sister, 
the trio's loxiest lady, who succumbs to. 
evil dudes and drugs—with spectacular 
side effects—midway through the picture. 
If she wanted to, Lonette might manage, 
nultaneously, passable impersonations 
of Diana Ross, Ava Gardner and Cyd 


isse. Just try to pull your eye 
. 


a tipolthehat tribute for 

five minutes dipped from any 
. Fields film classic would accom- 
plih more than the total footage of 
W. C. Fields end Me. Loyal fans of that 
iraxible comic genius already know 
everything worth knowing about his off- 
screen. behavior as an alcoholic rousta 
bout and the avowed enemy of women, 
ildren and dogs. And it’s doubtful that 
new generation of Fields buffs will be 


pos- 


vocal acrobatics behind a Silly Putty nose, 
though, at times, he looks disconcertingly 
Dloated caricature of Van Johnson. 
downbeat bio, directed by Arthur 
ad based on the book by Fields's 
Monti (who 
as consultant on the film), features 
Perrine, seriously miscast, play- 
rlotta as if she were a Red Cross 


Barrymore sponte ert tory as the 
drunken flasher who exposed himself to 
poor Cai in the Kitchen one night. 
With W. C. Fields adding lesser injuries 
to the flaming insult of Gable and Lom- 
bard, Hollywood seems self-destructively. 
determined to demolish its own myths. 
. 

As a comic Western in the anything- 
goes tradition of Cat Ballou trom the 
man who made A Touch of Class, pto- 
ducer-director Melvin Frank's The Duchess 
end the Dirtwater Fox looks like a movi 
aspired by some fast arithmetic beside 
a swimming pool in Beverly Hills. Sign 
up Goldie Hawn, because she is practi- 
ally irresistible, to sing and dance and 
a musichall 

cum her 


The Duchess: impure Goldie. 


with $40,000 he stole from a 
vengeful bank robbers. C; 
from beginning to end of 
chase story, they ought to gross 
at the box office. Frank’s hunch about 
Goldie and George may have been 
good one. She's a doll as the phony 
duchess, aspiring to marry a. polygamous 
Mormon so she can get a bit of bed rest 
("one day on and six days off"), or when 
she's simply drumming up business with 
a bawdy dancehall ditty titled Please 
Don't Touch Me Plums; and George is 
1 freewheeling good form as her foil, 
who'd like to get laid but would rather 
get rich. Both are thoroughly flip con- 
temporary types who appcar to be travel- 
ing on horseback or by stagecoach mainly 
because their Maserati is in for a lube 
job. Unfortunately, the seript is written 
the same way, with at least one wheel 
spinning in a ruc plainly marked Holly- 
wood 1976. 


. 

The fuzzy line between all-permissive 
porno and so-called straight movies gets 
fuzzier every day. Witness The Sailor Who 
Fell from Grace with the Sea, co-starring 
ad's vixenish Sarah Miles and Kris 
offerson, who register as a white-hot 
mtic team even when they keep 


The Sailor has sex and 
nudity to spare (check PLAYBOY next 
month, for a July feature with firecracker 
photos) but displays flesh primarily to 
further the plot, not to detour it. The 
result ture, sophisticated eroti 
combining healthy heterosexual lust with 
undertones of psychological terror. Mak 
his film debut as a director, screen 
writeradapter Lewis John Carlino chose 
re novel by Japan's late. great 
Yukio Mishima (who committed hara- 
Kiri some five years ago), moved the 
action from a Japanese port to a harbor 
town in Devon and showed the good 
ense not to go berserk the first time he 
was let loose with a movie camera. In 
fact, a kind of Oriental simplicity shapes 
The Sailors visual style (lor which cine- 
matographer Douglas Slocombe can 
daim substantial credit) and leaves the 
essence of the Mishima tale intact. Its 
a fiendishly cruel, hypnotic story about 
frustrated young widow with a grow 
g son who spies on her most private 
moments through a peephole between 
bedrooms—which makes hi 


their clothes on. 


American fre 
or repairs. 


hter that puts into port 
"he precocious little voyeur 
reports what he sees to the chief of a 
schoolboy gang that's into cigar smoking, 
dissecting household pets and generally 
defying parental authority. They begin 
to brood about the widow's lusty, roving 
sailorman as a good example of adult 
“betrayal” and convict him in absentia. 

To tell more would spoil the suspense, 
stidiously spun out on film like the 
nds of a spiders web, with a lethal 
ibeat ending that really stings. But 
there's no secret about The Sailor's sex- 
wal intensity, with Kristofferson provid- 
a solid ballast of potent, 
Virtue for the formidable Miles. 
outdoes herself here, playing a vulner 
able woman in a state of perpetual 
arousal, half sick with desire, so hungry 
for love that she seems ready to come if 


the right man just touches her finger 
The 


n does a lot better than 
ah is sexiest of all while 
ing in the car to pick him up, her 
lips sweaty with anticipation; or while 
i in her composure, later, 
when he slips his hand under her skirt 
proper English tearoom. If it had 
ing else—and it has the depth and 
intelligence that separate routine shock 
from the semiclassics—The Sailor 
Who Fell from Grace with the Sea could 
nk on Miles as a pacesetter for next 
s Oscar derby. 
. 
cd by a master m 
s one of theelemental pleasures 
of movicgoi and Alfred Hitchcock's 
Family Plor satisfies that basic need i 
witty, craftily contrived and zesiully 
played suspense comedy about two 
Francisco couples whose shady deals 


51974 R. J, Reynolds Tobacco Co. 


it wasnit for Winston) 
I wouldn't smoke. 


4 
n d 


Taste isn't everything. Its the only thing. 
‘S [smoke for pleasure. That's spelled T-Á-S-I-E. 
That means Winston. Winston won't give you.a new image. 
All Winston will ever give me is taste. 
Attastelthat’s very real. If à cigarette isn't ue 
it isn it anything, koe isforr 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous 10 Your Health. 


id 


PLAYBOY 


38 


on a collision course. Barbara Harris and 
Bruce Dern—she as a phony spiritualist, 
he as a sometime actor-taxi driver who 
takes an occasional role in her psychic 
cons—have been offered ten grand to 
help an old millionaires (Cathleen Nes- 
bitt) find a longlost heir to her family 
fortune. Karen Black and William De- 
vane are a couple of stylish kidnapers 
who snatch a wealthy businessman, 
then a high church bishop, asking price- 
less gems as ransom. Neither couple 
knows about the other until . . . well, 
better leave the storytelling to Hitch- 
cod. Working from a script by Ernest 
Lehman, Family Plot has more twists and 
turns than a can of worms, and Hitch- 
cock opens it up with wicked relish, al- 
most as if he were setting out to spoof 
the kind of hair-raising thriller for which 
he is without equal anywhere. Catapult- 

ng Dern and Harris hell-bent for leather 
down a steep mountain road in a car with 
botaged brakes, he can make their 
hysteria hilarious and still freeze your 
blood—though you know damned well 
he's not likely to kill off the stars of the 
picture so carly in the game. It’s all a 
game, of course, but how good it feels to 
sit back, beguiled and a little breathless, 
secure in the knowledge that a top witch 
doctor has everything under control. 

. 

our June 1975 Playmate, 
ng as Ben Gaz- 


Azizi Joha 
comes on sullen but stro 
zara's favorite stripper in The Killing of a 
Chinese Bookie. Gazzara himself gives an 
honest, gutsy performance that makes 
his abrasive strect-tough quality count 
for something, playing the operator of a 
dingy L.A. fleshpot called Crazy Horse 
West; he impulsively runs up a huge gam- 
bling debt, pays off the Syndicate guys 
by gunning down a Chinese ganglord 
they dont think he can touch, then 
discovers they've got a contract out on 
him to make sure the murder remains 
unsolved. That’s the plot, which has been 
used and reused in countless gangland 
melodramas since James Cagney traded 
his tap shoes for a tommy gun. What 
sets Chinese Bookie apart is the utterly 
naturalistic free-form style of filming on 
which writer-director John Cassavetes 
took out a patent with Faces, still his 
best movie. Characteristically, Cassa- 
vetes’ latest effort all but oozes atmos- 
phere, letting the harsh light of day into 
the night world of a feisty survivor and 
skin peddler named Cosmo Vitelli 
(Gazzara). The L.A. lush life, as shown 
here, is about as appetizing as a stale 
highball. While Cassavetes feels com- 
fortable with such material, he has set 
a tap for himself, too, by blindly con- 
forming to his own tried-and-true bad 
habits. The rambling, repetitive dialog 
and hand-held camerawork, everything 
seemingly improvised on the spot, 
passed for brave originality a few short 
years ago. But you've been there, John. 


XRATED 


A occhio character 
does nose jobs, after 
a fashion, in Let My Puppets 
Come, which also features 
a merrymaking mario- 
nette in a clinch with a 
gray-velvet spaniel, “I 
couldn't . .. you're a dog, 
she demurs, as he nibbles 
her ear. To which the 
pooch replies: "But I've 
had all my shots . . . and 
I'm a full-blooded cocker. 
Though its questionable 
whether puppets, coming 
or going, can launch a 
significant new trend in 
hard-core, n 
Gerard Damiano (of Deep 
Throat and The Devil in 
Miss Jones) has fairly solid 
credentials as a trend- 
setter. Damiano's latest 
breakthrough is a kind of 
Raunch-and-Judy show 
employing live actors, 
puppets and—to quote 
him indirectly—Iots of 


Porno Puppets. 


chiffon, foam rubber and 
Elmer's Gluc. None of it 
quite sticks together, yet 
Tet 


My Puppeis Come 
nly takes off in a dif- 
direction, from 
porno per se into pornographic self- 
parody. Some woolgathering idea men 
from a dummy firm known as Creative 
Concepts hatch the plot when they agree 
that making a fuck film is the easiest 
to make big money, fast. After try 
bestiality, operetta, a hospital fantasy 
with a head nurse, an undersea epic with 
a blowfish, etc., they shift their nel 
schemes into the pal arena, where 
rges of obscenity are much tougher 
to prove. That's the socially redeeming 
satire in an original, inollensive comedy 
obviously aspiring to be a put-on rather 
than a turn-on. Couldn't hurt. 
. 
As straight films 
frecr—trading tat for tit, so to Speak 
sex films tend to get st , sacrific 
some hard-core action for story v. 
and greater professionalism. At least 
that's how it works in the career of 
writer-director Armand Weston, a ser 
ous-minded New York pornographer who 
prefers the term erotic film to the blunt, 
pejorative porno. Weston made Person- 
als, followed by Defiance, and shows a 
city for growth in his two newest 
flicks, Hottest of the pair is Expose Me 
Lovely, a slick private-eye melodrama with 
a tidy plot, which introduces Ras Ki 
sa Raymond Chandler-style stud search- 
ing for the missing son of a Western 
ential hopeful. Kean is a clean-cut 


become sexually 


"Damiano's latest 
breakthrough is a kind of 
Raunch-and-Judy show." 


Redford-Newman type 
with no discernible sexual 
inhibitions who balls his 
cool blonde client (played 
by ravishing newcomer 
Cary Lacy), as well as scv- 
eral shadicr ladies (among 
them Jennifer Welles of 
Honeypie and Jody Max- 
well, formerly billed as 
"The Singing Stick-licker). 
Perhaps the horny detec- 
tivehero adapts easily be- 
cause we know damn well 
this is what Philip Mar- 
lowe has been doing, b. 
tween the lines. 

Weston's The Taking of 
Christina, based on an actual 
case history of a young 
California woman who 
was kidnaped and raped 
by two thugs in 1974 (then 
risked a murder charge 
when she pretended 10 
join her captors, led them 
back to her home and cut 
them down with a shot- 
gun), is an orgy of graphic 
violence relocated in Up- 
state New York. Al Le 
sky and Eric Edwards, 
two porno regulars who 
have seldom had a chance 
to act, play the heavies almost too per- 
suasively; Bree Anthony is much less 
convincing as their terrified victim. Chris- 
tina is too chillingly real to be erotic, too 
wobbly to stand alone without explicit 
sex for a prop. 


. 

Sex films cannot ordinarily be judged 
by the same aesthetic standards of content, 
nd perception that apply to 
movies. One of the rare excep- 
tions is director Walerian Borowczyk's 
Immoral Toles, which earned raves from 
European critics while Emmanuelle was 
merely raking in the chips. As a 1 
the four episodes that n 
(described in Sex in Cinema—French 
Style in PLaynoy’s June 1975 issue) are 
not explicit or even remotely raunchy. As 
n outrageous survey of the sexual mys- 
tique through the past five centuries, how- 
ever, Borowczyk's work is rich, literate, 
elegant and subtle. His actors are also 
measurably better than the usual X-rated 
exhibitionists, with statuesque Paloma 
Picasso (Pablo's daughter, of all people) 
appearing in one voluptuously undressed 
episode as a 17th Century lesbian count- 
es. Immoral Tales escapes the onus of 
being casually dismissed as sexploitation, 
not only because it’s an eyeful but also 
because it’s actually about something— 
the mystery and poetry and hypocrisy of 

making love. 


©1976 8nttish Leyland Morbi inc 


MG Midget gets 


37 MPG.: onthe highway, 
25 MPG. in the city According to Federal E.P. A. tests, the MG Midget gets a7 M.P.G. 


on the highway and 25 M. P. G. in the city. Naturally these figures 
and unlimited FPG: ~are estimates: the results you get may vary, depending on your 
driving habits, the-car’s condition and optional equipment. 

That's a lot of M. P. G. But what about the F.P.G.?* That's Fun 

anywhere. Per Gallon. MG Midget says the sky's the limit. 

Midget gives you F.P.G. from going convertible so you can 
bask in the sun, view the moon and the stars and feel the wind 
in your hair. 
ua I F.P.G. from the driving excitement that's yours with rack and 

w ! pinion steering, front caliper disc brakes, radial-ply tires, race- 
seasoned suspension and a short-throw four-speed 
gear box linked to a powerful 1500 cc engine. 

Put a little F.P.G. in your life! For the name of your 
nearest MG dealer, call these toll-free numbers: (800) 
"447-4700, or, in Illinois, (800) 322-4400. 

‘BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS ING., LEONIA, NEW JERSEY 07605. EYL ANS) 
MG Midget. The wide-open sports car. 


iy 


0 5 y BRITIBH 


40 


nless you're one of those 
Ue whose ears close and. 
whose eyes turn opaque at the 
words Nixon and Watergate, 
you can't have missed the me- 
dia blitz surrounding the new 
book by Bob Woodward and 
Carl Bernstein, The Final Days 
(Simon & Schuster). The book 
doesn't have the page-turning 
compulsion of All the Pres 
dents Men (excerpted in 
rtaysoy, May and June, 1974), 
perhaps because its protag- 
not a pair of young 


Final Days: Nixon on the carpet. 


“Tell our meatball President 
TIL be there.” There are yet 
more exposures: Nixon "edit- 
ing" the transcripts he released 
by simply tossing pages of 
incriminating dialog aside; 
Rosemary Woods apparently 
erasing the first few minutes 
of the famous l&and-a-half- 
minute gap, Nixon erasing the 
rest; his lawyer Fred Buzhardt, 
listening to the "smoking gun" 
tape a full three months earlier 
than previously disclosed, put- 
ting down the headset and say- 


g a suspicious | - 
resemblance to Robert Red- 
ford and Dustin Hoffman. Nor 
docs it have a mysterious Deep 
Throat. But what it docs have 
is some of the hardest-cdged 
gossip ever to come out of 
Washington. Clearly, David 
senhower spilled his heart 


“An hour later, Kissinger gets a call 
from Nixon, now drun 
don't ever tell anyone that I cried.’ ” 


: ‘Henry, please 


ing to himself, "School's out. 

Given the intense media 
coverage of the book's revela- 
tions, the possibility exists that 
once the sensational material 
has been serialized, analyzed 
and endlessly discussed, there 
won't be much to read in the 
hardback version. But a better 


out to the reporters and they 
apparently got to Henry Kissinger and 
Alexander Haig—or to their closest confi- 
is—but the overwhelming impression 
is that Woodward and Bernstein must have 
spent most of 1974 crouching in a White 
House fireplace, taking notes furiously. 
The main theme of the book is that 
the United States had, in the final 
months of the Nixon Admi 
President who was dangerously unhinged, 
overtly suicidal and, often as not, drunk 
out of his head. There are scenes of 
Nixon aboard his yacht, moaning: “Oh, 
goddamn, goddamn, goddamn!” Nixon, 
ccording to son-in-law Eddie Cox, stay- 
ing up at night, “walking in the halls, 
talking to pictures of former Presidents 
on the walls.” His staff covering up for 
the fact that Nixon rarely made it into 
his office before noon. Nixon talking 
despairingly to Alexander H: gif 
it isn’t truc that the military has ways ou 
of difficulties: pistols, for example. And 
in one of the most wrenching 


decision to resign h 
ing in the Lincoln Sitting Room, Nixon 
asks Kissinger to get down on his knees 
and pray with him. Kissinger docs so, 
only to see a weeping Nixon suddenly 
bend over, pound his fist on the carpet 
and cry out, "How did it come to this? 
What has happened?” Kissinger cradles 
the President in his arms like a baby, 
then steals away, shaken, to his owi 
office. An hour later, Kissinger gets a call 
from Nixon, now drunk: “Henry, please 
don't ever tell anyone that I cried and 
that E was not strong. 

The book traces Nixon's irrationality 
back to his first term in office. Once, when 
Kissinger was giving him his estimate of 


Scoundrel Time: McCarthy had company. 


U.S. casualti in n, the Pr 
dents response was, “Oh, screw ‘em.” On 
another occasion, Nixon called Kissinger 
to inform him, drunkenly, of Bebe Re- 
bozo's policy on the Vietnam war. From 
that time on, Haig referred to the Presi 
dent as “our drunken friend.” But for all 
that is revealed about n, Woodward 
nd Bernstein are in some ways compas- 
sionate toward the man (with the excep- 
tion of a cheap shot in which they make 
the seemingly unprovable assertion that 
Nixon wanted to divorce her husband. 
1962 and thereafter "rejected his ad- 
vances”). The reporters save their hardest 
shots for the men who surrounded Nixon, 
including Haig and Ehrlichman, who are 


scen speculating on the nature of Nixon 
and Rebozo's relationship—and most 
especially including Kissinger. The Sec 


stonish- 
al man 


retary of State is exposed as an 
gly mendacious and hypocr 


detesting Nixon from the outset, diagnos- 
ing him as early as 1969 as “insecure and 


maniacal,” tell friends that if he let 
Nixon have his way, he'd start a nuclear 
war every week, snapping to an assistant, 


bet is that The Final Days w 
be around for some time to come. It 
n its entirety, one of the most lucid and 
intimate accounts of the disintegration 
of executive power we've ever read. If 
it hadn't been written by reporters of 
their reputation, it would still be a ter- 
rific work of fiction. 


. 
It's unfortunate, as Garry Wills points 
out in his excellent introduction to Lil 
lian Hellman’s Scoundrel Time (Little, 
Brown), that the peculiar Am i 
ness of the late Forties and early Fifties 
should have come to be known as Mc- 
Carthyism. The Red-baiting Senator had 
a lot of predecessors, not the least of 
whom was the Red-baiting Congressman 
Richard M. Nixon. He and others did 
their dirty work via the House Committee 
on Un-American Activities, and it was be- 
fore the HUAC that playwright Hellman 
was in 1952 summoned to testify. Scoun- 
drel Time is Hellman's account of how 
she dealt with that challenge; it’s a slim, 
personal and oddly moving volume. 
Hellman feels le hatred for the 
established villains of the era—Nixon, 
Joe McCarthy and his buddies Roy 
Cohn and G. David Schine. “It was not 
the first time in history,” she observes, 
“that the confusions of honest people 
were picked up in space by cheap bad- 
dies who, hearing a few bars of popu- 
notes, made them into an opera of 
public disorder, staged and sung, as much 
of the Congressional testimony shows, in 
the wards of an insane asylum.” The rcal 
scoundrels of Scoundrel Time emerge 
the presumably liberal intellectuals: Clif- 
ford Odets, Elia Kazan and others, who 
spilled their guts as friendly witnesses for 


YOU, HOWEVER, PROBABLY SAY BLOODY MARY. 
WE SAY BLOODY MARIA. 


WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO SAY BLOODY MARIA? 
PERHAPS WE CAN HELP. JUST MAKE A BLOODY MARY 
WITH ALL THE USUAL THINGS. THEN ADD ONE NOT- 
SO-USUAL THING. JOSE CUERVO' TEQUILA. 


SHAKE WITH VIM 
OR VIGOR, BUT NOT BOTH. 
SERVE OVER ICE. OR 
UNDER. (IT'S A FREE 
COUNTRY.) 


BLOODY GOOD, 
ISN'T IT? BLOODY GOOD 
AD, TOO, IF YOU ASK US. 


JOSE CUERVO Œ) TEQUILA. 80 PROOF. IMPORTED AND BOTTLED BY ©1975, HEUBLEIN, INC. ,HARTFORD,CONN. 


THE CLUB SCREWDRIVER. 
A FAMILIAR DRINK YOU CAN ENJOY 
IN THE STRANGEST PLACES. 


Discovered a little spot that has 
everything? Beach, sun and water, 
water, everywhere? Butnotadrop fi 
to drink! 

Don't flip your lid. Flip ours. 
Open THE CLUB®Screwdriver—a 
refreshing drink made with smooth 
Smirnoff Vodka. 

It's one of THE CLUB's 12 great 
drinks ready to go when you are. & 


the HUAC. Hellman had believed in 
their integrity, their devotion to freedom 
of thought. "Simply, then and now,” she 
writes, “I feel betrayed by the nonsense 
I had believed. I had no right to think 
that American intellectuals were people 
who would fight for anything if doing 
so would injure them: they have very 
little history that would lead to that con- 
clusion." When Hellman got her sub- 
she strove for what seemed to her 
the moral position. She offered to tell the 

i ig it wanted 10 know 

Hellman—but drew the 
ling on friends. “I cannot 
and will not cut my conscience to fit this 
fashions,” she wrote to the commit. 
ised in an old-fashioned 
ion and there were cer- 
tain homely things that were taught to 
me: to try to tell the truth, not to bear 
false witness, not to harm my neighbor, 
to be loyal to my country." The com- 
mittee refused her terms and, to avoid 
incriminating others, she was forced to 
plead the Fifth Amendment. 

Hellman paid dearly for her stand. She 
didu't go to jail, as her longtime lover 
Dashiell Hammett had; she was, however, 
blacklisted, and her income dropped 
from $140,000 a year to $10,000. Most of 
that was seized by the IRS. But she su 
vived everything. even such small weird. 
nesses as a farewell supper with the Henry 
Wallaces the night before she left the 
farm she and Hammett had loved ex- 
tavagantly and been forced to sell. After 
the Wallaces served her a supper con- 
sisting of one poached egg atop à 
shredded-wheat they presented 
her with a goingaway present: a 50- 
pound bag of manure. Would that it 
were the only pile of shit this rem: 
able woman has had to surmount. 

. 

Big Mac: The Unauthorized Story of McDonald's 
(Dutton), by Max Boas and Steve Chain, 
does its best to be a muckraking ex- 
posé, and there is muck under the Big 
Burger worthy of raking, but the book is 
better read as nonfiction comedy—partly 
slapstick, partly black. It is the true and 
ying success story of Ray Kroc, select- 
ed by fate to invent the Big Mac as surely 
as Ocdipus was doomed to many his 
mom. A phrenologist predicted a carcer 
in food or music when Ray was four, 
And, like Walt Disney—with whom he 
served during World War One—Kroc 
was as ambitiously American as Horatio 
Alger, a hustler with a nose for anything 
new. He tied radio (and had a hand in 
the creation of Amos n Andy—are you 
beginning to feel the inevitability here?), 
caught the last fizzles of the Flor 
land boom, sold a hot ncw item, paper 
cups .. . but he never quite put it to- 
gether. In 1954, at the age of 52, 
selling multiprong malt mixers, 
per unit. One day he got an 


biscu 


order for eight of them from a burger 
stand in California. Instead of just process- 
ing it—here comes the blast of genius, 
folks—he wondered, “Why do those guys 
need to make 48 shakes at once?" and 
now he's worth $450,000,000. As Big Mac 
shows, this all-American empire, with 
cliavity buses and flags waving round the 
clock, has grown in ugly ways, particularly 
regarding such dread minorities as teen- 
agers and blacks. But can you really hate 
a corporation that has put a McDonald's 
on the site of the Hiroshima bombing? 
That for a time required its young em- 
ployees to submit to lie detector tests? 
That offers lectures at Hamburger U on 


nemies of Short- 
ening? And we've all been told often 
enough that you might as well eat the 
cardboard instead of a Big Mac—anyone 
to McDonald's expecting a blast 
ion shouldn't be walking around 
loosc. McDonald's is like television: Every- 
one indulges and everyone over 14 is a 
little embarrassed about it. Admitting in 
mixed company that a junkie who craves 
only Big Macs lives inside you ranks in the 
same order of sin as knowing how things 
are going on General. Hospital. 
H 

Face it. Everybody in the world 
agent for somebody except you and me, 
brother, and I'm not so sure about you. 
Given modern brainwashing techniques, 
I'm not so sure about myself, either. 
Richard Coudon, the author of The 
Manchwian Candidate, obviously be- 
lieves that i tion is a fact of life: In 
his latest po thriller and general 
good read. The Whisper of the Axe (Dial), 
it is impossible to tell the good guys 
from the bad guys without a score 
card. Agatha Teel—a black lawyer who 
equal pars Angela Davis and 
icr—recruits an urban-guerrilla army 
from the ranks of junkies, pimps and 
sucet gangs. With a cast like that, it's 


inevitable at least half of her army are 
intelligence agents of one kind or an- 
other. A great way to celebrate the 
Bicentennial. 


e. 
There's a saying in the publishing busi- 
ness that novellas get read by two people: 
the authors agent and the author's 
mother. We predict that won't be the 
case with Bloodshed ond Three Novellas 
(Knopl). Cynthia Ozick is (by her own 
admis Jewish imitator of an Trish 
writer imitating a Jew—Frank O'Connor 
being the Irish writer, Isaac Babel the 
Jew, And. like other great Jewish writers 
(I. B. Singer comes to mind), she is 
steeped in the stuff of fairy tales and folk- 
lore, which gives her four novellas— 
Bloodshed, A Mercenary, An Education 
and Csurpation—áan. eci other-world. 
quality, a feeling like walking knee-deep 
in fog through a dense forest. For once, 
the form that’s too long for m: 
too short for books h 
in a way that works. The only flaw is a 
rambling, maudlin preface, spattered 
with literary and religious references 
explanations of what her novellas 
bout.” They're about perfect; we cin 
tell you that. Skip the preface and read 
the stories. 


. 

Beginning with The Andromeda Strain, 
continuing through The Great Train 
Robbery and now in his Latest work, Eoters 
of the Dead (Knopl), Mich hton has 
demonstrated an extraordinary knack for 
presenting his stories in such a fashion 
that one is convinced he is reading an ac- 
count of an actual event as reported. by 
a participant—ihereby vesting relatively 
innocuous tales with an appearance of 
importance. "his new work is classic 
icon. Taking the simple tale of a 
Tenth Century Moslem diplomat sent by 
the caliph of Baghdad on a mission to 
. the author has him fall in with 
nd of vikings (‘Northmen’), 
taken against his will on a heroic cu- 
sade to rid another viking band of some 
nasty, flesh-eating barbarians (a tribe of 
nderthals who somehow survived evo- 
lution), eventually becoming à much- 
bloodied viking hero in his own right 
belore returning home. The story, pre- 
sented in the form of a newly discovered 
translation of the diplomat's offi 
port to the caliph, is replete with anthro- 
pological and sociological observations of 
viking lile and contains more footnotes 
and relerences—all fictional, of cou 


than an Oxford University Press edition 
of The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle. Believe 
it or not, it works. Only by sheer will 


power is the reader able to maintain a 
mental lock on the book's sole realit 
the fact that it is fiction, Someday, one 
hopes, Crichton will be recognized for 
what he is: the very best at what he does. 


41 


42 


SELECTED SHORTS 


insights and outcries on matters large and small 


LOST IN 
THE STARS 


By Richard Rhodes 


SCIENCE, dear dedicated moronic science, 
the same that gave us polyvinyl chloride 


ad the hydrogen bomb, has temporarily 
given up trashing the moon and will soon 


be trashing Mars. Not content with in- 
vading hospitable neighbors, astronomers 
are now looking to conquer new worlds. 
Cornell astronomer Carl Sagan believes 
that the major scientific achievement of 
the next century may be the discovery of 
alien civilizations out among the stars. 
That. as Richard Nixon would put it, 
could be the greatest event in the history 
of the world. Or it could be a total flop. I 
predict it will be a total flop. 

Sagan himself is leading the forces, 
scanning nearby galaxies with the 1000- 
foot dish radiotelescope at Arecibo Ob- 
servatory in Puerto Rico. He's reasonably 
sure he's not wasting his time and his 

guments are compelling, If you count 
the many moons of Jupiter, Saturn and 
Uranus as "planetary" systems, he points 
out, then there are four planetary systems 
in our unremarkable solar system alone. 
Jupiter and Saturn. have atmospheres 
rich in the precursors of life as Earth 

1 four billion years ago. The star near- 
est our sun, Barnard's star, is almost cer- 
tainly orbited by at least two dark 
companions the size of Jupiter, and six 
other nearby stars are suspected. of har- 
boring dark companions as well. 

With 100 billion stars in our galaxy 
alone, and. billions of equally populous 
galaxies beyond, the universe is probably 
host to billions of plancts, some of them 
rthlike. A few may be civilized. 
| associate Frank Drake estimate 
a million civilizations in our galaxy at or 
beyond Earth’s present level of techno- 
logical development.” They believe that 
the discovery of those million civilizations 
would cheer us. Other considerations 
wide. I'm not so sure. "I'd hate it," a lady 
tid to me the other day. "I'd feel the 
ame way I do when I go to New York.” 

The United States and the Soviet Un- 
ion have searched the sky eight times 
since 1960, listening for de 
apes or civilized noise. Some of the 
searches are ongoing. Astronomers have 
scanned about 200 stars so far and found 
nobody home. They figure they'll have to 
scan 200,000 to get a decent sample. 

They're also sending messages. One 
c they sent was a transmission of 


s 


mess: 


1679 bits that left Arecibo in 1974, bound 
for the uster in Hercules. It 
might have said, "Hello," but it didn't. It 
recited numbers one through ten, the 
atomic numbers for hydrogen, carbon, 
nitrogen, oxygen and phosphorus, the 
formulas for sugars and bases in nucleo- 
tides of DNA, the shape of DNA's double 
helix. the shape and height of a human 
being and the number of human beings 
on Earth and the shape and diameter of 
the Arecibo telescope. It said, in effect, 
“The most important thing we want you 
to know is how we got cooked up." 
Before the Arecibo transmission, Sag 
and his wile designed plaques for the 
Pioncer spacecraft, the two unmanned Ju- 
piter probes that are leaving our solar 
system to wander the universe and that 
someday may turn up in an alien back 
yard, like the monolith in 2001. Sagan 


“The man has a modest set of genitals 
The woman has ne genitals at all. 


and Drake wax lyrical about the plaques. 
"hey call them cosmic greeting cards: 


These plaques are destined to be 
the longest-lived works of mankind. 
They will survive virtually unchanged 
for hundreds of millions, perhaps 
billions, of years in space. When 
plate tectonics has completely rear- 
ranged the continents, when all the 
present land forms on the Earth have 
been ground down. when civilization 
has been profoundly transformed 


Richard Rhodes is a novelist, a Con- 
tributing Editor to PLAvBo and a public 
defender of private parts. 


and when human beings may have 
evolved into some other kind of or- 
ganism, these plaques will still exist 
They will show that in the year called 
1973. there were organisms, portrayed 
on the plaques, that cared enough 
about their place in the hicrarchy of 
all intelligent beings to share knowl- 
edge about themselves with others. 


But we didn't care enough to send the 
very best. The plaques locate the sun in 
relation to 14 pulsus. They diagram the 
solar system and outline the Pioneer vehi- 
cle itself. Superimposed on the Pioncer 
sketch are drawings of a man and a 
woman. They're censored. The man's got 
a modest set of genitals but no pubic hair. 
The woman's got no genitals l. In a 
vintage gesture of male chauvinism, the 
man gets to hold up his hand. The wo! n 
discreetly looks aside—in embarrassment, 
one imagines 

Consider two aliens recovering Areci- 
bo's 1679 bits and a Pioneer. 

“Jesus, Grok,” one says, “looka this 
plaque. The old lady's got no snatch 
This here's the first shot the Earthlings 
had at interstellar communication and 


they were so hung up they couldn't even 
show a lady's snatch. 
“Yeah, Zok,” says Grok, an' the guy's 


got no pub r I wonder why he's 
holding up his hand, 

“Maybe he's gotta go to the l 

“Yeah,” says Grok, "'cause he's the 
only one got something to go to the bath- 
room with.” 

Zok chews on a toothpick, if he happens 
to have a mouth. “Boy, Grok, Earthlings 
must really be ashamed of themselves. 
Looka all them numbers all over th 
plaque. Hell, they know things wi 
dreamed of yet; we ain't even got a rock- 
ct out to our third moon yet. You hear 
that big bunch o' signals that came in 
the other day? I counted 1679 bits, 
nothin’ but numbers an' chemicals an 
crap like that. They di'n't even say il they 
peace or not." 

.” says Grok, “they got the nerve 
We could 1 


throom." 


c said something about 
love or something about death, something 
about kids catching fireflies on warm 
spring nights, something clemental like 
"E think, therefore 1 am." We could 
have sent a song, or our best recipe for 
pple pie, or an apology for presuming. 
We didn't. We presumed 

No matter. It was already too late. We 
began announcing ourselves to the uni- 
verse about 20 years ago, when our ordi- 
mural communications—radio 
and tclevision—became powerful enough 
to carry beyond the immediate neighbor- 
hood of Earth. That means the aliens 


followed Vietnam and Watergate, saw 
terrorist bombs and Bangladesh, under- 
stand ICBMs and income s and oil. 
They've watche nd All in 


nev and Gerald R. Ford. 
They may be out there. but we'll never 
know. Who'd be dumb enough to tell us? 


THE SAFETY 
FETISHISTS 


By Craig Karpel 


sarery is dangerous. 

L discovered this alarming new 
ard when 1 took delivery of my m 
Chevrolet Chevelle 
Malibu Classic 
Colonnade sedan 
and casually asked 
the salesman to 
have the retract- 
ing shoulder belts 
replaced with 
fixed shoulder 
belts like 1 had on. 
my 1973 Camaro, 
of blessed memory. 


He gulped. He 
shrank. He 
blanched. “We're 


llowed to 
re- 


not a 
touch th 
straints 
whispered, br 
ing out in a sweat. 
“Don't even ask 
met" 

The newfangled 
shoulder belts are 
equipped with 
vehicle sensitive devices” that clamp 
down—that are supposed to clamp 
down—on the webbing if the car stops 
abruptly, as in a collision. In other words, 
I've got to trust my thorax to General 
Motors and Ralph Nader—my old belts, 
with bolts to the roof, were too foolproof 
for the Feds. 

The reason the foolpr 
abandoned was that the 
had to put in starter interlocks and 
were concerned lest motorists universally 
disable the systems. They introduced the 
vehiclescnsitive belts because people 
who were loath to wear shoulder belts 
found them less confining. Then it 
turned out that everybody disconnected. 


fety fet 


of belts were 
nufacturers 


the interlocks, anyway. 
ernment decided not to requ 
locks anymore—the public 
resistant. So this year, there are no more 
rter interlocks. But did this mean the 
anufacturers went back to fixed belts? 
Hell, no—in fact, they've be 
to keep the vehicle: 


was 


re 100 perce 
clecuic clocks. Dirt, dust a 
make them funct 

In other words, in the name of safety, 
the new cars are equipped with belts U 
are less safe. 

Drivers like your correspondent, who 
have come to know and love fixed shoul- 
der belts, are supposed 10 make do with 
the lax, permissive vehidlesensi 
Drivers who despise shoulder belts cai 
just razor-blade the stitching off the end 
£ the shoulder portion of the new kind 
nd let the belt slide permanently into 
the retractor. So the net effect of all the 


will make our lives 400 


safetymongering of recent years is that 
bondage freaks like myself who like to be 
strapped to the seat of their cars can't buy 
at any price an automobile equipped with 
disciplincoriented shoulder belts well 
versed glish arts. 

The above example of ass-backward- 
ness comes to you courtesy of Ame 
ica’s safety fetishists, who are poing to 
make our lives 100 percent safe if it 
Kills us. The safety fetishists have made 
progress in other product areas besides 
automobiles. 


Craig Karpel is a free-lance writer and 
frequent contributor to PLAyBov who 
lives the good, but dangerous, life. 


nt sofe if it kills 


Now that cating a pastrami sandwich 
has become an act of 
and grounds for having your life insur- 
ice canceled, the question 
whether absolute safety r 
be the paramount conce 


human 


society. Isn’t rhe campaign against ni 
trate-cured meats the coldest cut of all? 
Is it really worth outlawing Roman can 


dles and pinwhecls just to keep a few hun- 
dred jerks from blowing off their pinkies 
with cherry bombs? What if LSD does 
cause chromosome damage? Maybe 
better to ha children with three € 
and webbed toes than to live as a dunder- 
head. Why can't I inquire wistfully if 
the store has amy preprohibition red. 
flannel pajamas left to warm my litle 
boy's buns without the saleslady’s loo! 
at me as if I'd asked for a case of adul 
sized Pampers? Isn't it better to build 
springless, shockless snowmobiles so that 
the hominids who ride them can get the 
compression fractures of the lumt 
spine they so rich- 
ly deserve? What 
do the safety fe- 
tishistshaveagainst 
Speedy Alka-Selt- 
zer, just because 
he fights stomach 
upset with a com- 
n of ant 
nd aspirin 


cid 
an acid th 


erodes 
the stomach li 
ing? Why put 
sensible folk a 
disadvantage by 
discouraging fools 
from poisoni 
themselves with 
patent remedies? 
Doesn't the at- 
tempt to eliminate 
all danger from 
our lives tend to 
shift the risk i 
herent in mortal 
possibly more hor 


existence to othe 
rendous areas? 
Meanwhile, I've located a gu 


y who is 


place my vehiclesensitive 


with a pair of honest-to-good 
ness fixed shoulder belts from a junked 
773 Oldsmobile. I think he used to be an 
abortionist. I've got to front the cash 
before he'll do the job, and then I've got 
to drive to his place blindfolded. Guy's 
so secretive the embroidered. name over 
his coverall breast pocket has been Xed 


out. But Fm not kicking, because he 
promises to let me in on a plan he's 
Miami 


got to smuggle pastrami into 
Beach after they make it illo 
"s—uh-oh— perfectly safe. 


43 


. For the price of 
an imitation sports car, 
you can own the 
real thing. 


"There are a lot of spiffy looking 
little economy cars around today mas- 
querading as sports cars. 

"They drip with "features" like non- 
functioning hood scoops. And 
imitation racing mirrors. And tach- 
ometers for automatic transmissions. 

The problem is that by the time 
you've added all the sporty options, 
you've also added a small fortune to the 
price of the car. 

And you still don't have a sports 
car. Only an economy car that vaguely 
resembles one. 

Obviously, we have a solution. In 
fact, we have two. 

The Fiat X1/9. Or the 124 Spider. 
Instead of tires with raised white 
letters to make the car look better, youll 
find radial tires. To make it drive better. 
Instead of a pseudo racing steer- 

ing wheel, you'll get rack-and-pinion 
steering on the X1/9. The kind used in. 
racing cars. 

And instead of being impressed 
with a fancy racing stripe on the hood, 
you'll be impressed by what we've put 
underneath it. 


Car rental. leasing, and overseas delivery arranged through your participating dealer, 


Because where we come from, a 
sports car isn’t a sports car because of 
the way it looks. 

Its a sports car because of the way 
itdrives. 

Which should explain why the 
124 Spider comes with a five-speed 
transmission. And a dual overhead cam 
engine. And four-wheel disc brakes. 

Itmight also begin to explain why 
the X1/9, one of but seven mid-engine 
cars in the world, was named one of the 
ten best cars in the world last year by 
Road and Track magazine. 

Of course, we still think sports cars 
have to look like sports cars. In the land 
of Ferrari, ugly doesn't sell. 

So we got the people who design 
Ferraris to design both these Fiats. 

Look atit this way. 

If you're going to spend real money 
ona sports car, the least you should end 
up with isa real one. 


S 


A lot of car. Not a lot of money. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


Fase you ever heard of couples’ trying 
to pick up single women to complete a 
ménage à trois? The other day, 1 was ly- 
ing in the park sun-bathing when thi: 
tiny dog started bringing twigs and sticks 
and laying them at my feet. I looked up 
and noticed that a couple were handing 
twigs to the dog. They smiled and asked 
me out to lunch. I declined the invita- 
tion, because I wanted to stay in the 
sun for a few more hours. Later, a friend 
told me that the same couple had picked 
her up a few weckends earlier with the 
same trick. Apparently, the dog is trained 
to fetch young girls. My girlfriend went 
home with them and had a lovely day in 
bed. Most of the action happened be. 
tween my friend and the other young 
woman—she claims that couples who are 
on the prowl almost always do so because 
the man can't satisfy the woman alone, 
that the arrangement is a cover for lesbian 
encounters. Is this truc—Miss M. R, 
Chicago, Minois. 

Hardly. Couples on the prowl are es- 
sentially looking for a safe way to intro- 
duce variety into their sex lives. In some 
cases, a woman may be interested in ex- 
ploring lesbian fantasies and feels less 
threatened. if her mate is along. (These 
same women would never engage in a 
one-on-one encounter.) In return, the 
male is often titillated by Seeing his wife 
with another woman. If he were left out, 
he would feel threatened. There are also 
couples who pick up unattached young 
men for much the same reason. The 
phenomenon is not rare: The surprising 
thing about couples on the prowl is their 
Success quolient. More often than not, 
the single person they take home has 
some fantasies that need exploring, too; 
for instance, making it with a Yorkshire 
terrier. 


Alex Comiort's The Joy of Sex taught 
people that it was fun to tie up their 
partners before making love. Bondage 
and discipline was a fantasy to be ex- 
plored by every liberated lover. Fine, 
except my girlfriend and I really enjoy 
it. We've even bought leather harnesses, 
whips, etc., and that's where the problem 
arises: We now have the tools to inflict 
genuine pain on cach other. ‘The costume 
Dall has lost a bit of its luster now that 
irtiug the reality. We are thin 
ing about using the whip for more than 
a prop in our lovemaking. But we aren't 
sure whether or not we can or should 
cross the border from B/D to outright 
Movies like Story of O 
nd Joanna celebrate pain in the name 
of love. We doubt the accuracy of those 


sadomasoc] 


pect. What motivates a serious sadis— 
W. E., Teaneck, New Jersey. 

Beats us. We're not sure that S/M 
qualifies as a form of lovemaking. Ac- 
cording to Ernest Becker, author of 
the essay “Everyman as Pervert,” a sadist 
cannot stand the mystery of another per- 
son, her separateness, her uniqueness. “By 
treating the flesh with violence and 
causing it great pain, the sadist literally 
makes of his partner a predominately ex- 
ternal organism: There is no room for 
subileties of thought, and no way of keep- 
ing thought separate from what one feels 
and expresses, when he is convulsed with 
pain. The mind ‘comes out in the open’ 
in the screams and pleadings of the body. 
There is no longer anything private or 
aloof: The victim is reduced to the barest 
terms of the body.” If that sounds heavy, 
it is. The master and slave roles are de- 
void of personality: In fact, sadists re- 
port that the better they know their 
victims, the less satisfactory the experi- 
ence, The two actors in the S/M drama 
are bound by force, the whip that con- 
necls them. Pleasure is uncertain, pain 
guaranteed. A sadist never asks his partner 
if she came or, for that matter, if it hurt, 
We'd advise caution: These situations 
have been known to backlash. 


Do you know of a place where I can 
rent 16mm prints of contemporary films? 
I live in the sticks; the nearest movie 
theater is miles away and it shows only 
Walt Disney flicks—bare sustenance for 


a film student devoted to Bergman, et al. 
Television reception in this arca is prac- 
tically nonexistent, so I can't even catch 
the latest on the Late Show. Enough of 
my f my predicament that 
we've pooled our resources, We are rather 
intrigued by the idea of sceing good films 
in the privacy of our own homes, with 
the added treat of spiced popcorn and 
spiked punch and the absence of No 
SMOKING signs. We already have a projec- 
tor and a screen—we just need the 
movies.—G. A. H., Shiprock, New Mexico. 

There are many groups of people in 
this country who, like you, prefer to roll 
their own. Several firms offer 16mm 
prints of recent releases, in addition to 
the standard oldies. Rental rates are 
reasonable, especially when divided 
among your friends. For $25, you can 
catch Buster Keaton as “The General.” 
For $40, Marlon Brando as “The Wild 
One.” For a mere $100, you can watch 
King Kong cop a feel from Fay Wray. 
Newer films are somewhat more expen- 
sive: For a mere $350, you can get “2001: 
A Space Odyssey,” for $200, the classic 
“Death Race 2000" and for $100, 
Pam Grier in “The Avena.” Chances are 
you can order the titles you want from 
United Films in Tulsa, Oklahoma; Con- 
temporary | McGraw-Hill Films in Hights- 
town, New Jersey; ov Films Incorporated 
in Wilmetie, Illinois. Write for their 
catalogs: As a true film buff, you'll get off 
on the stills. In the meantime, you and 
your friends can debate whether or not 
“Cries and Whispers" was Bergman's at- 
tempt Lo create a situation comedy about 
cancer. 


ls shi; 


AA few weeks ago, T was in bed with a 
woman with whom I'm having a casual 
affair. After foreplay, 1 found myself 
turned on by the idea of anal intercourse. 
I performed the job on her to the satis- 
faction of us both. Then I had an over- 
whelming urge to know what it felt like 
to her. She selected a phallusshaped. ob- 
ject from her collection of erotic toys 
and, after some initial gentle probing 
with her fingers, turned the tables. It 
was extremely pleasurable. The only 
thing that bothers me about the whole 
experience is that now I find sex with 
my wife rather uninteresting and am 
afraid that sooner or later she'll notice 
my lack of enthusiasm. I desire to repeat 
the episode of anal sex and have even con- 
templated using a vibrator or a dildo on 
myself, Docs this indicate that a latent 
homosexual tendency is beginning to sur- 
face?—B. A, Seattle, Wash 

There's no reason a man should not 
find anal stimulation pleasurable: It 


AS 


PLAYBOY 


46 


would be a sad state of affairs if only 
Jemales and male homosexuals enjoyed 
themselves in so free a fashion. The epi- 
sode does not indicate that you are a 
latent anything. (Never mind the graffito 
that declares: “If God had meant you to 
be heterosexual, He wouldn't have given 
you an asshole”) Relax. You are not re- 
sponsible for the distribution of nerve 
endings through your body. If you are in 
trigued by this technique, don't be afraid 
gest it io your wife. The very worst 
that could happen is that she might tell 
you where you can put it. 


VI, girlfriend and 1 are into bare-ass 
backpacking. We like to take off into 
the mountains, take it off and then get 
it on. Oh, natural! Unfortunately, most 
of the parks in our area are overcrowded. 


You might as well try to make it in 
L 


es Square. Any suggestions? We have 
n extended vacation coming up and 
ould like to go to some of the least 
visited of the country.—C. M., Cam- 
bridge. Massachusetts. 

You should check out one of the BS 
wilderness areas in the U. S,, which com- 
prise some 12,000,000 acres of land 
protected by law from man-made degrada- 
tions. No cabins. No vehicles. (If you can't 
get there on foot, you don't deserve to get 
there.) The ten least visited areas are 
Galino (Arizona), Mazatzal (Arizona), 
North Absaroka (Wyoming), Gates of the 
Mountain (Montana), Gearhart Moun- 
tain (Oregon), Washakie (Wyoming), Sel- 
way-Bilterroot (Idaho|Moniana), Teton 
Wilderness (Wyoming), Scapegoat (Mon- 
tana) and Pasayten (Washington). But de- 
cording to a spokesman for the Forest 
Service, there are reasons these places are 
not frequented. The two Arizona wilder- 
ness areas are pure desert. "Only the 
snakes go there" The Wyoming and 
Montana areas offer mountains, forests, 
streams, elc. which might be more to 
your liking. You don't need a permit to 
use these arcas: I's first come, first served, 
but there are quotas and it helps to 
write ahead. For more information, con- 
tact the U.S. Forest Service, U.S.D.A 
12th and Independence, S.W., Washing- 
ton, D.C. 20250. When you finally visit 
one of these arcas, say hello to the 
12,000,000 other rtAvmov readers who 
have also taken our advice. 


al 


V enjoyed the descriptions of s. 
a the Janu: 
isor. 1 have wondered for 
how two sn 
C. V., New 


Brunswick, 


you 


New Jersey 

Are you that horny? Snakes seem to 
prefer the back-to-belly approach. when 
it comes to sex. (Thal may have been 
what the serpent taught Eve.) The male 
crawls forward over the female's back, 
moving his body in an undulating fash- 
ion. His tail twitches sideways over the 


female's tail, increasing in frenzy. At the 
peak of the male's excitement, a loop of 
his tail is thrown under the female and 
the cloacae openings are brought to- 
gether, The male then inserts his hemi- 
penis, resulting in fertilization. Sounds 
like the latest dance craze, doesn't it? 


veling through a small south- 


ern-Missouri town, I came across a 
unique relic sitting in the middle of an 
open pasture; 10 wit, a blick two-door 


sports coupe of European nufacture. 
I had never seen anything like 
n all-metal sliding sunroof (years 
d of its time), knockoff wire wheels 
inchers, at least) and wide pontoon 
front fenders like the Cord's. It vaguely 
resembled the XK 110-140 


custom coach was obw 
with much of the woodwoi 
interior still in good 


Henri Levallois, 
Paris. Apparently, the car had been 
sitting in the field for 12 or so y. 
For the most part, it was a rusted, burned- 
out carcass, but I would like to restore it, 
using sheet metal and fiberglass to bond 
together the rotted-out sections and, 
wherever possible, replacing defective 
parts with ori ones. Where can 1 
obtain information on this ? Would 
it be worth the effort to attempt resto- 
ration?—S. A. M., Topeka, Kansas. 

The car you describe is a worthless 
lemon, a symbol of conspicuous consump- 
tion, totally lacking in redeeming social 
value, and where did you say that 
pasture was? Actually, there is @ diamond 
beneath all that rust. Delahaye was an 
honored marque from 1894 to 1954. The 
Type 135 was a 3.>-Liler concours 
d'élégance touring machine, built from 
1934 until 1951 (with an interruption 
for the way, of course). With a top speed 
of about 115 mph, it was one of the 
fastest cars of ils eva, rivaling Bu- 
gattis and Alfa Romeos. In 1939, for 
example, a race was held in Britain to 
determine the fastest car on the road. A 
Delahaye Type 135 beat all contenders, 
cven though the driver had to stop and 
put out a small fire. Class. It was standard 
practice before the war for one com- 
pany to supply the chassis and the run. 
ning gear of a car, while a master coach- 
builder such as Chapron put together a 
custom-made body to suit the client. Prop- 
erly restored, the car could be worth a 
great deal of money. If you want to under- 
take the project, consult experts such as 
the amiable and knowledgeable care- 
takers of Harrah's Automobile Collec- 
tion in Reno, Nevada, Making do with 
sheet metal and fiberglass could destroy 
the value of the car—you wouldn't try to 


restore a Rembrandt with house paint 
and a roller. Better to sell il as is, unre- 
stored, than to ruin it forever. Otherwise, 
bonne chance, you lucky bastard. 


Kk it possible for a woman to have an 
orgasm and not know it? When 1 make 
love to my girlfriend, I can feel her vag. 
inal muscles go into contractions (a s 
of climax, according to Masters 
johnson). but she claims that 
feels only brief twinges of pleasure, not 
the cosmic, all-encompassing. oce 
stical garbanzo o 
re always t 
10 say, I feel somewhat frustrated. What 
do vou sugges?—L. O., New Orleans, 
Louisiana. 

The word orgasm is like the word love: 
Maybe someday there will be a ten-ton 
stainlessstecl ORGASM sculpture erected 
in Central Park and jewelry and station- 
ery embossed with the word. After 
they've seen it in print 10,000,000 times, 
some women no longer know what it 
means and are always suspicious that what 
they experience isn’t the real thing. The 
cure is fairly simple: First, a woman must 
acquaint herself with the various stages of 
an orgasm. As the clitoris is stimulated, 
blood gathers in the pelvic region and 
the vagina lubricates and expands, The 
build-up of blood produces a tension in 
the muscles of the pelvis, particularly in 
those that surround the vaginal opening 
and the rectum. Eventually, a reflex is trig- 
gered in the responding muscles and the 
vagina begins to contract, expelling the 
blood from the pelvic region. (If a woman 
does not experience this reflex, she may 
feel discomfort from the accumulated 
blood.) That's all there is to an orgasm, 
folks: The contraction, followed by the e: 
pulsion of blood. It can be strong or weak, 
cosmic or suburban, depending on the 
woman's altitude toward herself. If she 
doesn’t put her mind to it, she may not 
feel anything or, worse, she may experi- 
ence excitement as discomfort. The cur- 
vent idea is that a woman can learn the 
Stages through masturbation or cunni- 
lingus, and then, when she has intercourse 
(a distinctly inferior method of directly 
stimulating the clitoris), she will locate 
them more quickly and surrender to the 
flow of her own sexuality without fear 
or hesitation, Then watch out. 


she 


All reasonable questions—jrom fashion, 
food and drink, stereo and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette— 
will be personally answered if the writer 
includes a stamped, self-addressed en- 
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
1dvisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


Newport 


Alive with pleasure! 


After all, if smoking isn't 
a pleasure, why bother? 


MENTHOL KINGS Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
MENTHOL 100 * That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


Don't buy any loudspeaker until 
you test drive it. You're not going 
to a recital. You're choosing a 
roommate. 

Challenge it. Put it through its 
paces. Most loudspeakers can 
handle mid-range, mid-volume, 
mid-mid sound. That's no test. 

Turn if up! 

Really loud. Loud loud 
Kig-next-door loud. 

How does the loudspeaker 
sound? Do you like it? Is it clean? 
Is it clear? Or does it hum the low 
lows when nobody asked il to? 
Does it splatter the highs? 

Is it fuzzy or distorted? 
You don't have to live with loud 


music, but you ought to visit there. 


Loudness magnifies the imper- 
fections that will scar your 
subconscious at regular listening 


JBL offers a number of different high fidelity loudspeckers 
from S156 fo $3240. Shown here, from left, are L36, L166 and 
L300. They are priced at $198, $375 and $897 each. 


levels. Loudness tells you what 
time will do to your ears, your 
head, your disposition. Now: 


TURN IT DOWN. 


Way down. Take it to the edge 
of silence, and then come back 
a little. 

Can you hear every part of 
the music, or does it sound like 
half the band went out for a 
smoke? 

Are all the textures and detail 
and harmonics of the music still 
there, or is only the melody 
lingering on? 

Nobody wants to live with a 
loudspeaker that can't make its 
point unless it yells 

So. Tum it down. 

One last thought: don't let 
anyone, including us, tell you 
what you like in a loudspeaker. 
You're dealing with a very 
personal, subjective matter of 
taste. Loudspeakers are art. 

Buying them is, too. 

That's what this message is 
all about. 

We're all in this together. 


UBL 


For the JBL dealer nearest you, call (800) 243-6400. in Connecticut, call (800) 882-6500. 
James B. Lansing Sound, Inc./3249 Casitas, Los Angeles 90039 


TRZ IT’S OUT TO STEAL 
THE AMERICAN ROAD 


ENGINE: 4 cylinder, over-head cam, electronic ignition. 


STEERING: Rack and pinion. Race-type 13" steering wheel. 


BRAKES: Power assisted, front disc. 

PRICE: $5549 manutacturer's suggested 

retail price P.O.E. Inland transportation, local taxes 
and preparation charges extra. 

OPTIONS: Air conditioning. AM, AM/FM, 

or AM/FM stereo cassette. 


First consider what you see: a 
bold, slashing wedge taken from the 
Grand Prix racetracks of the world; 
the dashing shape of things to come. 


Now consider what you dont see: 


the edge of the wedge knifes through 
the wind, forcing the front down for 
solid control. The slippery silhouette 
cuts drag. Enhances power. Adds 
miles to the gallon. (Our E.P.A. 
estimates are 29.9 mpg on the road, 
20.7 in city streets. Your mileage 
will vary depending on the type 

of driving you do, your driving habits, 


your car’s condition, and optional 
equipment you have.) 

Consider sensation: a swift, 
nimble, taut two-seater that holds the 
road as if it had hands. 

Consider comfort: shut your eyes 
and youre riding a luxury sedan (sports 
Cars were never like this). You enter 
the cockpit without acrobatics, sit 
and stretch in voluptuous space. 

Consider the overriding sense of 
it: unlike the new breed of complex, 
fragile sports cars, TR7 emerges a 
beautifully simple and simply beautiful 


machine; a triumph of dependability 
priced at only $5,649. It's a steal. 
For the name of your nearest 
Triumph dealer call 800-447-4700. 
In Illinois call 800-322-4400. 
British Leyland Motors Inc., 
Leonia, New Jersey 07605. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


a continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers 


NUDES VS. PRUDES 
Black’s Beach, near San Diego, has been 
the setting for a local drama that might 
be titled "The Naked and the Dead” or, 
perhaps, “The Nudes and the Prudes. 
The nudes represent as many as 20,000 
pcople who visit Black's Beach on a single 
day to bathe in the most healthy and 
natural way, without fetishistic swimsuits 
to smother and restrict various parts of 
their anatomy. The prudes are an 
known number of superstitious folk who 
believe in such primitive nonsense as that 
naturalness is offensive to the imaginary 
gods or demons of their tribe or violates 
the taboos and might cause earthquakes. 
(There are many of these precivilized 
hominid types at large in California, as 
elsewhere in the Union.) The battle came 
to some kind of idiotic dimax when 
one of the spokesprimates for the prude 
brood argued before the city council that. 
Black's Beach should be dosed because 
too many people were using it and might 
create an environmental problem. To this 
brilliant reasoning, an opponent replied 
simply, “We are in a very funny position 
in a democracy if we make something il- 
legal because too many people want to 
do it.” The council voted five to four to 
keep the beach open and the prudes re- 
tired from the battle, probably to hatch 
further mischief against civil liberties on 
behalf of the al totems. 
James Sims 
Los Angeles, California 


PRURIENT PLATES 
In response to Wayne Tustin’s lewer 
in the February Playboy Forum about 
his trouble with the state of California 
over a so-called obscene license plate, I 
offer a true story of my own. Shortly 
alter the great state of Texas began is- 
suing pere nse plates, I was 
driving from Kingsville to Austin and 
saw a car bearing the plate sReap-8. Now, 
as any good Texas boy who was raised 
in a border town knows, the Spanish 
word for bread is pan and for cight 
acho, Put those words together and they 
become panocho. And in Spanish- 
American border slang, amy variant of 
that word—panocha, panochic or what- 
ans pussy. The Texas Depart- 
ment of Motor Vehicles had been had. 
K. E. Smallwood 
Denver, Colorado 


ORGASM REBUTTAL 
In the February Playboy Forum, a 
s that Lew. men. under- 


stand or sympathize with the female who 
is unable to reach orgasm. If she really 
thinks this is still true, she must be having 
n awful streak of bad luck at choosing 
her bedmates. My experience has shown 
that men are increasingly sensitive to the. 
needs of their sexual partners and. care 
very much if orgasm is not achieved. 


asm on frigidity and look no further. I 
{eel sorry for anyone who sleeps with 


“We are in a very funny 
position in a democracy 
if we make something 
illegal because too many 
people want to do 1t." 


one of these guys, but then again, she 
shouldn't even have gotten near the bed- 
room with him in the first place. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Portland, Maine 


ON AND ON 

Women are now discovering the beau- 
tiful experience of orgasm, but most m. 
are too lazy or impatient to work 
providing enough ditoral stimulation. 
1 know of men who seek other women to 
take care of their sex partners needs 


first, then these men proceed to reach 
their own sexual satisfaction. Still other 
men will give their women vibrators and 
tell them to take care of themselves and 
holler when they're ready to come. 

It has been some time since I have ex- 
perienced the frustration of the sexual 
act with a man, I am a beautiful, intel- 
ligent young female who wants her 
climax just as much as any jock wants 
his. At present, I am proud and happy 
to have an emotional and sexual rcl 
ionship with a lovely feminist woman. 
We are both disgusted at the idea of being 
used as sex toys by male chauvinists. 
Our sexual experiences a 
mic. There is nothing more satisfy 
than waking up to a long, loving genit 
kiss instead of a hard-on. And for us, or 
sex can go on and on. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Santa Monica, California 


APHRODITE'S BOX 

Here's my invention for jazzing up a 
humdrum sex life: Go out and buy dozens 
of good erotic novels (not cheap porn but 
classy items by masters like D. H. Law 
rence and Ariosto). Cut up the books, rc- 
moving the individual sex scenes, and 
staple the pages for each scene together. 
Put all the stapled passages into a large 
file box. I call this Aphrodite's box be- 
cause it contains nothing but goodies, in 
contrast to Pandoras box, which con- 
tained nothing but trouble. Then, when 
you and your lady are ready for an eve- 
ning of fun, reach into the box and pick. 

script at random, Take olt your clothes 
nd read the passage aloud, with her tak- 
ng the female dialog and you the male; 
atc the m ion. When 
ng, act the scene 


dition of a 
can liven 
al experience. One 
warning, however: Be very careful with 
Terry Southerns novels. You are likely 
to end up laughing so hard you can't re- 
tain your firmness of purpose. 

(Name withheld by request) 

Cincinnati, Ohio 


BUGGED BY BUGGERY 

The two letters in the 
Playboy Forum about anal inte e 
quite right in suggesting that it can be 
very painful if performed by inexp 
enced people. The man who introduced 
me to anal sex never used a lubricant 
and was not all that gentle. Since I didn’t 


bn 
course 


51 


know anything about anal intercourse 
and was a reticent young woman at the 
time, I said nothing. And on some occa- 
sions I did enjoy it. But I still feel some 
rectal pain, and it's been a year and a 
half since I stopped this practice. People 
need to be educated about anal inter- 
course so that fewer will suffer as I have. 
(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


PLAYBOY 


Iam a woman who firmly believes in 
the prindple of to each his own, but 
when it comes to anal intercourse, I feel 
I must draw the line. For one thing, it 
hurts like hell and, for another, it can 
be downright dangerous. For the price 
of a little perverted fun, one can suffer 
lacerations of the rectum and colon. If 
the male switches from rectum to va 
without washing thoroughly, the female 
can suffer a vaginal infection. Further- 
more, it makes you walk and sit uncom- 
fortably for days; this from accidental 
personal experience. 

I would advise the two assholes from 
Baltimore and Atlanta to consider these 
points before indulging in any more 
perverted pleasures. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Garfield Heights, Ohio 


A MATTER OF TASTE 

Frenchie, Steve and I are roommates 
and we have been debating the pleasures 
of oral-anal contact. Frenchie and I agree 
that doing it can be just as much fun as 
having it done to you. Steve, on the 
other hand, says, “To have my anus 
licked would be fine, but to do it to 
nother would be degrading to my 
manhood." Frenchie and 1 feel there is 
nothing wrong with cating an anus and 
certainly nothing degrading about it. 

We would like to know whether you 
have any figures on this subject, such as 
how many pcople—male and female— 
do, in fact, enjoy giving or receiving this 
pleasure. 


(Name and address 
withheld by request) 
In business and politics, quite a few. 
As to how many indulge in analingus 
for purely sexual reasons, we know of 
no surveys on the subject, But never 
mind how many people like it or don’t 
like it; the three of you seem to know 
where you stand on the subject and 
that’s all that really counts. Alex Com- 
fort calls the practice. feuille de rose, 
which means rose petal, and advises, 
“Don’t do it if you don't like the idea 
or be afraid to suggest it if you do.” 


NO LOVE FOR THE GUV 
In February, The Playboy Forum pub- 
lished a letter describing the way Gov- 
nor  Meldrim Thomson of New 
Hampshire used the power of his office 
to punish a motorist who gave him the 
finger while driving on a Massachusetts 
52 highway. Alter reading this, I received a 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


whats happening in the sexual and social arenas 


BOOZE VS. SEX 

New rescarch indicates that heavy 
drinking, which can reduce male sexual 
capacity, accomplishes this by stimulat- 
ing the liver to step up its destruction 
of the male sex hormone. According to 
a study conducted in New York and re- 
ported in the journal Science, the toxic 


effects of booze, consumed in substantial 
quantities, cause the liver to produce up 
1o five limes the normal amount of the 
liver enzyme that breaks down the 
body's testosterone. The study involved 
a group of men who, under controlled 
conditions, drank the equivalent of a 
pint of 86-proof whiskey a day for four 
wecks. 


PREGNANCY CLAUSE 

ATLANTIC CiTY—Women who wish to 
compete in the Miss America Pageant 
must henceforth sign a statement de- 
claring that they are not and never 
have been pregnant. A spokesman for 
the pageant said that the previous stipu- 
lation—that a coniestant was not and 
never had been marricd—failed to 
cover abortions and unwed mother- 
hood. Two years ago, the pageant had 
to amend its bylaws to prescribe that all 
contestants be female. Too many men 
were entering and sometimes winning 
college beauty contests. 


ABORTON LAWS VOIDED 
NEW ORLEANS—A three-judge Federal 
court has ruled five Louisiana an 


abortion laws unconstitutional, while 
upholding the state's right to prohibit 
use of Medicaid funds for elective 


abortions. The court struck down laws 
prohibiting abortions, the distribution 
of abortion instruments or devices and 
the advertising of abortion services and 
abortion counseling. It also voided a 
statute requiring a parent or spouse to 
give consent for abortions im certain 
cases. 


SCHOOL FOR TRANSSEXUALS 

Lonpon—Britain’s National Health 
Service has started a night school at 
Charing Cross Hospital for transsexuals 
to teach men who have changed their 
sex to behave more like women. The 
instructor is a former model, who e. 
plains, “I pay a lot of attention to 
teaching them to walk like women and 
help them learn to use make-up and 
stop thinking as men.” She also teaches 
them to stop opening doors for her and 
lighting her cigarettes. 


RAPE DAMAGES 

ROCKVILLE, MARYLAND—A 24-year-old 
woman who filed a civil suit against 
two men who raped her in 1972 has 
been awarded $365,000 in damages. She 
told reporters she may not collect much 
moncy but hopes her example will in- 
Spire other rape victims to report the 
crime and otherwise take action against 
rapists. 


HOMOSEXUAL RAPE 

ST. FRANCISVILLE, LOUISIANA— Two in- 
mates of the Louisiana State Peniten- 
Liary are the first persons to be indicted 
under a new state law making homo- 
sexual rape, like heterosexual rape, 
punishable by death. Homosexual rape 
previously was classified as a “crime 
against nature,” carrying a maximum 
penalty of 15 ycars’ imprisonment. 


NEW MARIJUANA LAWS 
South Dakota and Minnesota have 
become the seventh and eighth states to 
decriminalize the possession of small 
amounts of marijuana. The new South 
Dakota law prescribes a maximum civil 
fine of only $20 for an ounce or less of 
pot but does not go into effect until 
April 1, 1977. The Minnesota law is 
already in force and provides a civil 

fine of $100 for up to 1.5 ounces. 


NEW MARIJUANA TEST 
Los ANGELES—Researchers at UCLA 
have developed a test that accurately 
measures the amount of tetrahydro- 
cannabinol (THC), marijuana's psycho- 
active ingredient, in a pot smokers 


blood. Developers of the test say it 
could greatly facilitate studies of mari- 
juana’s effects on the smokers and pro- 
vide law-enforcement agencies with a 
means of determining marijuana in- 
toxication in drivers. 


NEW MARIJUANA STUDIES 

NEW YorK—Several recent studies of 
chronic marijuana. users, conducted in- 
dependently in half a dozen countries, 
have found the drug to have no ap- 
parent adverse effects on the human 
body or brain. The research, reported at 
a New York Academy of Sciences con- 
ference, corroborates and expands on 
an earlier Jamaica study and tends to 
contradict theories that pot smoking 
reduces production of the male sex 
hormone, lowers natural immunity to 
disease or affects motivation to work. 
The studies were conducted in Costa 
Rica, Egypt, Greece, Jamaica, Mexico 
and the United States, generally among 
older persons who had smoked pot 
from 10 to 28 years. 


THREE-TIME LOSER 
MARION, ILLINOIS—A 26-year-old Fed- 
eral-prison inmate, serving a two-year 
sentence for illegal use of credit cards, 
has filed suit in circuit court for divorce 
from three wives. His attorney ex- 
plained that his client would be getting 


out in a few months and wanted to 
“wipe the slate clean and start anew.” 
This new life, the lawyer admitted, 
could possibly include charges of 
bigamy. 


GRANDPA'S GAUNTLET 
ACOMD, ENGLAND—d 63-year-old grand- 
father has been leading a campaign 
of harassment against a neighbor- 


hood cinema club that shows films he 
considers pornographic. When club 
members are ready to leave after their 
weekly erotic movie, the elderly smut 


fighter assembles up to 40 of his friends 
and neighbors, who wave flashlights and 
chant, “Dirty old men!” A spokesman 
for the club said the situation was 
“getting a bit volatile, but we don't 
want to call in the police.” 


ALIMONY ISSUE 

HARTFORD, CONNECTICUT—The Con- 
necticut Commission on the Status of 
Women intends to review recent 
divorce decisions of a judge because he 
ordered alimony payments stopped for 
a West Harford woman when her 
youngest child becomes 21. The judge 
cited “the recent social, political, 
economic and professional emancipa- 
tion of women" in ruling that women 
are not “entitled to a perpetual state 
of assured income, or as some would 
characterize it, assured indolence.” 


THE BLOB LIVES 

SAN FRANCISCO—A Canadian research- 
ers unusual experiment has raised new 
questions about determining legal 
death by means of an electroencephalo- 
graph. At a San Francisco medical 
conference, Dr. Adrian Upton of Mc- 
Master University in Hamilton, On- 
tario, reported that an EEG hooked up 
to a brain-sized lump of ordinary lime 
Jell-O registered enough apparent 
brain waves to qualify it as being 
alive. The wave activity, it turned out, 
was coming from nearby intravenous- 
feeding artificial respira- 
tors and other typical life-sustaining 
equipment. 


machines, 


letter from Governor Thomson appealing 
for funds on behalf of an organization 
called the Conservative Caucus, Inc., of 
which he is national chairman. Although 
I had previously supported this organiz 
tion, I wrote to the governor, explaining 
that I was turning down his request be- 
cause of his conduct. Such abuse of an 
official position is indefensible. 

Walter B. Jones 

Clear Lake City, Te 


FIGHTING FOGGY BOTTOM 

In November and December of 1974. 
I was a rock musician associated with 
the Joffrey Ballet during a tour of the 
Soviet Union sponsored by the U. S. De- 
partment of State. As a member of the 
an rock group 
to tour Russia, I visited Leningrad and 
Moscow, as well as Riga, Latvia, and 
Vilnius, Lithuania, spending about one 
week in each city. On returning to the 
U. S., I began work on a book describing 
the experience. E finished it in July 1975 
and started submitting it to publishers. 

Then representatives of the Joffrey 
Ballet called and told me I couldn't 

ite anything about the wip without 
first consulting the State Department. 
They claimed the ballet’s contract with 
the department (which 1 had never 
signed or even secn) prohibited anyone 
from publishing such a book until the 
U.S. Government had had a chance to 
examine it. I phoned the State Depart- 
ment and was told I had an obligation 
to submit the book because I was con- 
sidered a State Department employee 
during the tour and came under the 
department's directives. The purpose of 
inspecting my book was to sce that it 
was a balanced presentation that would 
not injure relations between the Soviet 
Union and our Governmer 

I refused to comply with the de- 
mand, feeling that the Government has 
no right to require that literary works 
about the Soviet Union conform to the 
foreign policy of the U.S. and that it 
had no right to hold me to a contrac- 
tual provision I'd known nothing about. 
Last January, the legal director of the 
American Civil Liberties Union, Melv 
L. Wulf, wrote a letter to Secretary of 
State Henry Kissinger asking him to 
withdraw the contractual provision and 
end the policy of such requirements 
on Governmentsponsored tours. Wulf 
wrote, "In light of very recent history, 
it seems extraordinarily ill-advised for 
the State Department to assert the right 
to ngs of Ameri 
citizens in order to avoid embarrassment 
of foreign governments and their 
peoples." 

lam happy to say that I received a 
letter from Guy Coriden, director of the 
State Department's Office of International 
Arts Affairs, telling me that the pro- 
vision would be waived for me and 


Vegetables, the first Amer 


R 


ie the wr 


an 


PLAYBOY 


would not appear in future contracts. 
Prentice-Hall will be publishing my book, 
Rock Goes to Russia, this fall. I hope this 
resistance to tlie Government's censorship 
attempt will be a warning to other writers 
to remain vigilant in the protection of 
their First Amendment rights. 

Thom Gambino 

Maspeth, New York 


WASTE NOT, WANT NOT 

Government promises notwithstand- 
ing, consumer prices have mot been 
stabilized in this country. It appears thar 
nothing will be spared going the way of 
the five-cent candy bar and three-cent 
postage stamp. Soon we may even be 
bowled over with news storics like this: 


The Metropolitan Toilet Author- 


e perfect Bicentennial souvenir 
ity (M.T.A.) and city officials met 


A BIC (bee-eye-cee) Multiple Play Manual Turntable is one of the early this morning in emergency 
finest turntables you can buy at any price. session in an attempt to resolve the 
It also happens to be the only multiple play turntable developed and city's current pay-toilet crisis. It was 
built entirely inthe USA, and we think it has alot to say about some announced yesterday that, due to in- 
particularly American qualities we're celebrating in this bicentennial year. creased economic pressures, many 
It's innovative. When it first appeared it did things no other turntable public facilities would be forced to 
could do. Today it’s still miles ahead of the competition from abroad. increase the price of pay toilets 
It's tough and honest. There are no frills for the sake of frills. Just a from ten to 25 cents. City officials 
rugged instrument that does what it's supposed to do...superbly. and the M.T.A. emerged from their 
‘Technologically it’s a masterpiece. And in the best American tradition meeting with a compromise pay-as- 
it's priced so that anyone seriously interested in good music can afford one. you-go plan in place of a flat rate. 
There are three models: the 940 — about $110, the 960— about $160, and The plan was immediately chal- 
the 980 — about $200. See them at your audio dealers. Or write for information lenged, however, and taken to the 


to B. C Turntables, Westbury, N. N. 11590. K state supreme court, which, in special 

session, ruled that the compromise 
ETE NOUSRESCO ADWSENOF ANETHE 1976 was in flagrant violation of squatters’ 
rights. 

Early this afternoon, the M.T.A. 
countered with an offer of two-for- 
one weekend sales and special rush- 
hour rates in an effort to abate the 
winds of protest. But critics de- 
scribed the proposals as “a tissue of 
compromises.” 

In desperation, city officials ap- 
pealed to the state for aid, but the 
governor dedined to involve him- 
self in what he called "a messy situ- 
ation." He was quoted as saying that 
he would like to “wash [his] hands of 
the whole 

Poli 
try, 
consumer movement, could not risk 


Razors turning the other check to such a 
= = feel d policy statements on mcc : 
Designed to make shaving good. | Sior Genge McGovern soie 


Ronson Electric Razors. 36 stainless steel blades giving every man, woman and child 


in the country his own portable toi- 


ans from all over the coun- 
ager to be identified with the 


cut whiskers quickly, cleanly, without pull. A micro-thin, let; CIA Director George Bush, 
flexible shaving screen allows the blades to cut closer commenting on iE pos sees 
tothe whisker base. And, the "Super-Trim" makes trim- kind plunge us into national tur- 
ming your sideburns, mustache or beard a breeze. moil and wash everything we've stood 
Available in cord or cordless models. Get the electric for right down the drain"; 


a Harris advocated establishing a Fed- 
razor that makes shaving RONSO N eral flush fund program to subsidize 
feel good. Get a Ronson. a the needy, 


When reached for comment in 


. ty A Washington, President Ford stated, 


Ofall filter kings: 


Nobody: 
lower than 


Carlton. 


Look at the latest U.S. Government figurcs for 
other top brands that call themselves “low” in tar. 


tar, nicotine, 
mg/cig. mg/cig. 


BrandD (Filter) I 1.0 
Brand D (Menthol) 13 1.0 
BrandV (Fite) 11 ^ 07 
Brand T (Menthol) 11 en 
Brand V (Menthol) 11 07 
Brand T (Filte) 11 0.6 
Carlton Filter 2 0.2 
Carlton Menthol 2 0.2 


Carlton 70's (lowest of all brands) 
*1 mg. tar, 0.1 mg. nicotine 
*Av. per cigarette by FTC method 
No wonder Carlton is 
fastest growing of the top 25. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


Filterand Menthol: 2 mg. "tar", 0.2 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, by FTC method. 


Some clarification is needed to calm 
down public hysteria over a film phe- 
nomenon known as Snuff. This dreary. 
ng hoax earned $203,000 during 
the carly wecks of its New York run, 
was closed in Philadelphia after being 
picketed, was denied a license by Mary- 
land's censors and drew excited press 
comment—if not paying customers— 
aller opening in cities across the coun- 
uy. The fuss that paved the way for 
. with credulous 


mored to be a repulsive and inevitable 


new dimension in pornography. 
simulated screen sex gradually escalated 
into actual sex, then did it not logically 
follow that violence in films might also 
become hard-core? Well, yes, if you sub- 
scribe to the logic of, say, mass murderer 
Charles Manson, who popularized snuff 
as a synonym for murder and was 
rumored to have filmed ritual murders 
by members of his tribe. 

Though no one has ever found a 
Manson murder flick, stories persisted 
that other such films were on the mar- 
ket—probably made in I Amer- 
ica—with black-market prints going 
for $1500 apiece and up, tickets to 
furtive private screenings costing sick 
thrill seekers $200 a head. 

Early this year, New York distribu- 
tor Allan Shackleton of Monarch 
Releasing Corporation leaped to fill 
the gap between fact and fancy and 
fat profits by launching Snuff in Man- 
hattan. According to Monarch's una- 
bashedly offensive ad campaign, this 
was it: “The Bloodiest thing that ever 
happened in front of a camera. . .. The 
film that could only be made in South 
America . . . where life is CHEAP!" 
With Shackleton coyly avoiding a state- 
ment about whether the filin's horren- 
dous final scene was real or faked, Snuff 
richly fulfilled his primary objectives of 
whipping up controversy and boosting 
box-office re 

Snuff, in fact, is a totally fraudulent 
shocker (aptly described by one Mon- 
arch spokesman as "a piece of shit") 
that was made in Argentina in the early 
Seventies, as a sleazy exploitation 
quickie titled Slaughter. Badly dubbed. 
into English and generally inept, the 
movie describes how a murderous M 
sonlike girl gang goes around killing 
people. Awkwardly tacked on to the end 
of this crude trivia is a seven-minute 
film within the film that has nothing 
to do with what went before but shows 
a fully clothed blonde actress being 


dismembered by a mani male 
armed with a knife, shears and a port- 
able buzz sa g was 


shot in New York, at a cost of several 


SNUFF AND CENSORSHIP 


thousand dollars, by a rightly embar 
rassed group of commercial film hacks 
who would rather remain anonymous. 
Aft lengthy investigation, Manhat- 
tan's district attorney officially declared 
Snuff bogus; his men had met the sup 
posedly murdered actress and her di. 
rector and determined that: ~The 
so-called killing scene is nothing more 
than conventional trick photography." 

"The more important issues raised by 
the Snuff case are crassly dismissed as 
elevant” by Shackletoi e hyster- 
ically exploited by bluenose groups 
secking some moral justification for 
film censorship and are further ob- 
scured by such liberal do-gooders as 
Susan Sontag, Eric Bentley, Ellen Bur- 
styn and Gloria Steinem, who con- 
demned Snuff for selling murder as 
sexual entertainment, Of course they 
object to murder. Who doesnt? 

But why link sex with murder, hard- 
core with homicide, unless there's a 
curious, inexplicable need to equate 
them? Especially since Snuff bears little 
or no relationship to porno films as 
such but might be compared with con- 
temporary cult-camp horror classics in 
the vein of The Texas Chainsaw Mas- 
sacre, Night of the Living Dead or 
even Andy Warhol's Frankenstein. One 
answer was suggested by that p 
spoken king of smut, Screw publisher 
AL Goldstein, who swept away Snuff 
and the entire snuff-movie panda 
nium as "bullshit created by the morals 
squad to give pornography a black eye.” 

Though he may overstate it, Gold. 
stein has a point about the selLap- 
pointed or state appointed guardians of 
our morality—who are miles off the 
beam in secking to use snuff films 
ammunition in their dogged battle to 
ban explicit sexual material from 
screen, stage and page. High levels of 
outright violence are still tolerated, 
even on television, both in fictional 
form and as news coverage. An anti- 
obscenity militant is more likely to 
express alarm that sex films, hard-core 
or soft, are showing a trendy increase of 
heavy S/M and bondage sequences to 
entice customers weary of the same old 
fuck-and-suck formula. True enough. 
But none of it is being forced on a 
ptive audience. 
lf taste and discretion. were subject 
1o legislative decree, we might all live 
in a pure, happy, sexually potent, un- 
polluted totalitarian state where no 
one would be crazy enough to lay out 
four dollars or more to see Snuff, But it 
doesn't work that way, so why don't we 
all settle down and let the market place 
get rid of our garbage? 

—BRUGE WILLIAMSON 


o- 


“Tve always been opposed to waste, 
both within government and with- 
out. It should be eliminated with- 
out delay.” He did not elaborate. 


Michael D. Aita 
air Lawn, New Jersey 


PUNISHMENT AND CRIME 

There are people spending years in 
prison for having a little bit of weed on 
them, but a woman who murdered her 
own son gets only six months 

The woman in question is a school 
teacher whose 18-year-old son was taken 
to the hospital with a drug overdose in 
April 1975. Doctors had pronounced him 
out of danger, but she took a pistol and 
shot him six times as he lay, semicon- 
scious, strapped to a stretcher. She was 
sentenced to a term of 4 to 95 years in 
Augus, and in December the governor 
of Ohio commuted the sentence to one 
to ten years, She was released on parole 
in February, less than a year after killing 
her son, and says she intends to retuim 
to teaching. 


Kenneth Starbuck 
l, Ohio 


EMPLOYMENT INQUISITION 

l was quite interested in the letter 
from Manucl Ramos, who had been 
given a grant from Yale University to 
nd out what his friends from the old 
drug and flower days are doing now (The 
Playboy Forum, February). 1 found that 
it isn’t easy for a person to move from 
the counterculture to the straight world. 

I have a secretarial job with a big 
corporation. I passed all of my inter- 
views easily. When I accepted the job. 
the personnel department told me to re- 
port for a medical exam. The nurse took 
my blood pressure, noticed two marks 
on my arm and Jooked at the other arm, 
which has a mark on it as well. She 
asked me whether I had gi blood 
recently. Since she gave me the excuse, 
I took her up on it and replied afirma- 
tively, though I've never given blood 
my life. She kept touching the m 
on my arms and mumbled something 
to herself thar was inaudible to me. But 
suddenly hit me that no big company 
is likely to be willing to hi ex- 
junkie. My answers to the rest of the 
interview questions were a pack of lies. 
My need for a job would not allow me 
to answer truthfully such questions about 
my past as: Did you ever have venereal 
disease? (Twice) Have you ever been 
heavily sedated or tranquilized for any 
reason? (When I was in a mental hospi- 
tal kicking a methadone habit.) Are you 
ave you ever been addicted to 
any narcotic drug? (Heroin, methadone, 
you name it, I took it.) There were many 
other questions that I couldn't answer 
honestly. Yet I had to sign the form. 

1 have been totally clean—not. even 
pot—lor over three years, and I resent 


s 


"WIN 533,000 IN THE BRUT 33 
OLYMPIC GAMES CONTEST" 


The Brut 33 Olympic Games Contest, with 1,333 great prizes, is going on now. 
Look for your entry card wherever Brut 33 Deodorant and other Brut 33 


products are sold. 
Wont your excitement watching the 
N SPECIAL Olympic Games on TV be even greater if the 
E PREMIUM OFFER results could make you $33,000 richer? Well, 
iT SAVINGS. thats the idea behind the big Brut 33 Olympic 
Games Contest. 

Al you have to do to enter is pick up an 
entry card where Brut 33 products are sold. 
Or writeto Brut 33 Olympic Games Contest, 
200 Park Avenue, New York, NY. 10017, for a 
free entry card 

Then predictthe number of medals you 
think the U.S. Olympic Team will win in the 
1976 Summer Olympic Games at Montreal. 

If you're the closest, you'll be the Brut 33 
Olympic Games Guessing Champion — and 
you'l win $33,000. In the event of a tie, rules 
onthe entry card will apply. 

Altogether, there are 1,333 prizes, 
including a second prize of $3,300 and ten 
third prizes of $330. Complete rules are on 
the back of every card. No Purchase 
Necessary. Void where prohibited by law. 


— SPECIAL BONUS OFFER! 


^" 2 Send coupon now for big discounts on special premiums. 
F T A ee ee ee REUS SES SESS Gens neus uem um 
Proceeds will help support the U.S. Olympic ſeam. P.O. Box 3488, Grand Central Sta., N. V, N. V. 10017 
Name 
Address. 
City 
State Zip 


Joe Namath, 
Brut 33 Olympic 


on SELECTED! ITEMS 


Enclosed is a check or money order for $. 

payable to Special Premium Offer (No COD's). 

Please charge O Master Charge O BankAmericard 

Number 

BUSHNELL KNOCK-ABOUT BINOCULARS PERSONAL TOTE BAG WITH INITIALS Expiration Inter Bank Number 
e 


Signature. 


(Required for credit card) 


Comparable 
Retail Value 


YOU |Postagea 
PAY _|Handiing| 


Binoculars | $2995 [$19.95] $1.00 
2| Tote Bag* $36.00 |s1695 
3| Calculator si295 [s 7.95 

AC Adaptor (Optional) |$ 3.00 
4|Headphones | $14.95 
5| Beach Towel 


Item 


NY S. RESIDENTS ADD 7% SALES TAX. N.Y.C. RESIDENTS 
ADD B% SALES TAX » RESIDENTS OF OTHER STATES ADD 
APPLICABLE SALES TAX 


*For Personalization Of Tote Bag 


Initials: 1 LJ [] 


Color: Red O Navy O Natural O 
(For additional names attach printed list) 


Total l 


BRUT33 OLYMPIC GANES BEACH TOWEL JOE NAMATH GIANT 3-0 POSTER 
=e ee ee o Xn ee eee eee ee ee ee ee ee ee N- 


Clip out and complete this coupon to order premiums. Send check or money order in correct amount. Do not mail cash. 


57 


SCINTILLA! For 22 years, we've been making the 
finest satim sheets im the world. We use only 
225x78 thread count acetate satin, the softest. 
Our sheets are completely MACHINE WASHABLE. 
12 dazzling colors for regular or round beds. 
Hot Pink, Tangerine, Gold, Red, Black, Bronze, 
Blue, Silver, Pale Pink, White, Mint or Orchid. Try 
the satin sheets made by pros. You deserve the 
best! P.S. We pros even ereptam slightly extra. 
‘SHEET SETS (2 straight sheets, 2 cases) 
Double Set $23.98 Queen Set $27.95 
Twin Set 22.98 King Set. 32.50 
Round 84” Set 48.50 Round 96” Set 54.95 


Setter monogram on 2 cases—$2.50 
For fitted bottom sheet, add $2.00 to double or 
twin price; $2.50 to queen; $3.00 to king price. 
Round bottom sheets are fitted: Odd sizes on fe- 
quest. Send check or m.o. 50% deposit on C.0.0.'s. 


: N. Broadway P-6 
SCINTILLA,” INC. chicago, i 8860 

FREE 40-page Color Catalog of All Our 
Satin Fashions With Every Order. 


New AM/FM-CB 
Receiver! tow rice 


$2995 


EX ml 


Fe = Buin ferrite AM 
antenna 
AS telescopng 
swivel FM/CB 
1 
All 23 CB channels. 
Slide rue tunng 
Volume and Tone 
Contras 
Battenes incuded 
V XA KO 
Mantfacturer's 
Warranty 
$29.95 plus $3 
Shppngand 
insurance 
= Optional AC Adapter 
——— — — 


Get in on all the CB Action, anywhere, with 
this new portable 23 Channel Receiver plus 
AM/FM) by Hanimex. It’s a quality built 
solid-state unit in a handsome. high-styled 
Case. The convenience of a portable radio— 
the excitement of all the CB happenings — 
all in one at an amazing price Order today 
for a 2-week no obligation trial, PB 
TWO WEEK RETURN PRIVILEGE 

Check. Money Order or Charge Cards, Please give 
Account No, Bank No. tf any) Expiration Dare. 
Signature. Conn. residents only add 7% Sales Tax. 
ORDER TOLL FREE 24 HOURS, 7 DAYS 
B02436006 con res 1-800-882-6500 


new co iCcepís 158 Siivermine Ave 


Norwalk, Ct 08880 


this kind of prying. Even if 1 were on 
a methadone maintenance program, it 
seems to me that information about my 
history of drug use should be known only 
to the treatment center. I hope even- 
tually I will not feel it necessary to hide 
the fact that I was strong enough to kick 
several heroin habits à a methadone 
habit that was much more difficult. For 
now, I feel I've done what I had to do 
in order to get job. 

(Name withheld by request) 

New York, New York 


THE NEXT STEP ON GRASS 

Now that eight states have reduced or 
eliminated crimin 
session of small 


s of pot, I'm 


concerned about where we go from here. 


Decriminalization is a desirable first step, 
but it makes no sense to me that it be 
accompanied by heavy jail penalties for 
sale of pot. For one thing, we all know. 
that an occasional narcotics agent isn't 
above enticing pot users into making 
sales or even planting extra weed on 
ns to make a bigger bust. 
Furthermore, if some of our legislators 
now say that smoking grass is harmless, 
it’s ridiculous to throw people in 
for dealing the stuff. 1 think it's time 
those of us who favor marijuanadaw re- 
form stop calli 
and start talking legalization. 


adelphia, Pennsylvani 

All the states that have adopted de- 
criminalization kept some civil 
penalty for possession, showing that 
legislators still don't think smoking grass 
is a good thing. Recognizing this, the 
National Organization for the Reform of 
Marijuana Laws has called for studies to 
examine various ways of regulating mari- 
juana traffic. “which would both mini- 
mize the potential for abuse and not 
encourage use.” We agree that eventual 
legalization of the sale of marijuana is a 
al and humanitarian necessity, but 
let's take one step at a time. 


have 


BEATITUDE 

When my husband and I met, he admi 
ted that he had been to bed with one other 
girl before me and that he had been mas 
turbating for years. We took a course in 
human sexuality at the university where we 
met and it opened our eyes and answered 
some of our qu 
about masturbation wasn't satisfied, After 
some practice, my husband brought me 
to my first orgasm by masturbating me. 
The experience was marvelous and I 
ed him how he felt when he mastur- 
bated himself. As he told me about wh: 
happened to him physically and mentally, 
he got an erection and I felt excited. The 
thought of actually watching my husband 
have an orgasm (you don't get to sec much 
when you're screwing) turned me on even 


sions. But my curiosity 


more. So I shocked us both by asking 
him to beat off in front of me. He had 
never done that before in front o! 
d felt a little shy about it, but we both 
thought it would do us some good. 

As a result of that night, masturbation 
has become a regular part of our sexual 
repertory. We masturbate each other and 
ourselves and when sexual excitement is 
at a peak, we either get off in this manner 
or proceed to intercourse. It is a beautiful 


experience. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Columbus, Ohio 


MARRIED MASTURBATORS 

After reading all the happy testimon 
als from married. masturbators in The 
Playboy Forum, I've decided that I won't 
do any masturbating just now. Im going 
to save it for marriage. 


E. Nash 
Detroit, Michigan 


ONEROUS ONANISM 

You might be interested in the view- 
point of an existential psychologist on 
masturbation, Much of my time is spent 
speaking with and listening to students 
When they discover they can trust me, 
they open up and describe to me the 
most amazing behavior, experiences and 
feelings. There is one issue, however, 
that, except for those few who delight 

ng. can be spoken of only 
great he n and profound 
shame and guilt —masturbation. 

The feelings mest people have about 
masturbation take one of two forms. 
First, we may think that if we mastur- 
bate, it is a symptom that our sex life 
is not adequate or not normal or not ful- 
filled or not seltactualizing. According 
to this belief, il we have to masturbate, 
its because we're not screwing enough; 
and if we're not screwing enough, its 
because we haven't taken our rightful 
place in the fantasy land of continuous 
orgies; and if we're not living in this 
fantasy land, it's because we aren't prop- 
erly relating to others; and if we aren't 
properly relating, then—and this is what 
it boils down to— € somehow weird 
or sick or disturbed or lacking. Or, 
second, we may think that if we mastur- 
bate, it's because we are afflicted with 
loathsome, animalistic, ungodly drives. 
In the first case, we feel we're lacking 
in social or interpersonal development; in 
the second, in spiritual development (i 
we have failed to destroy our bodies). 
Both attitudes lead to a single self 

nterpre hat either psychologically 
or morally I am a disaster area. The real 
disaster is the fact that even the most 
supposedly enlightened of us in our 
psychologically sophisticated and emanci- 
pated society that expertly advises us on 
sexual know-how can still cling to these 
merciless notions of masturbation. 

Whether we are living alone or with 


someone else; whether we are indulging 


in a grcat deal of interpersonal sexual 
activity, a little or none at all; whether our 
we are at the moment alone or with 


someone else: whether we do it ourselves 


or another does it for u Il right to 


masturbate. As I write this, I feel helpless 
because I cannot cite any medical or scien: 9 


tific evidence that supports this, I cannot 


compose any eloquent argument to justify 8 
this, I cannot prove this. But it's true, It's easy with Remote £0. We call this TOTAL CONCEPT. 
nevertheless. In fact, it's perfectly in Go to the nearest phone, dial Everything is built into one 
order that I feel helpless now, because it's your own phone number and self-contained unit, by design. 
silly to attempt to justify that which the small beeper you Built-in Remote Control, built- 
doesn't need to be justified: Masturba- carry with you will trigger your in VOX lvoice actuation, 
tion is its own justification. Record a Call automatic tele- records as long as the caller 
On the other hand, the mountain of phone answering machine to play V 
self-destructive feclings that falls upon | back all your stored messages * ee 
i ap i rapid rewind, fast forward, 
us as a result of our attitudes toward | Lon can then command Record ull B 
5 yo „E.D. message light and 
masturbation is what must be examined, | — 9 Call 80 to hold these mes erue 
a DA ae B sages until you get back, et the many other features. 
because it can never be justified. When Elke n e Approved to be plugged 


people come to realize all of this they | omashio o konev message! lebens com- 


feel better about themselves, as though | — messages (all by remote pany phone jack 
a great and onerous weight had been control). with no monthly 
lifted from them, ‘They wish that some service charge. 
one had set them straight long ago; tl 
especially wish that when they were 
young, they had been persuaded to ignore 
their parents, tea 
told them that they were committing Remote 80 $299.95 . . . Other models: VOX 70 $199.95, AUTO 60 $169.95 


mortal sin or that they were queer. . 
Paul Colaizzi, Ph.D. cor a 


7 sii, Pennsylvant 
Piusburgh, Pennsylvania INNOVATORS OF AUTOMATIC TELEPHONE ANSWERING SYSTEMS TOR OVER 16 YEARS 
TAD. AVANTI. INC.. 16250 Gundry Ave., Paramount, CA 90723 (213) 531-8053. 


hers and friends, who 


SEXUAL SNACKING 

As a happily married, uninhibited 
woman, I'd like to state that 1 think oc. 
casional masturbation for husband or wile A 
is fine, as when the other partner is ill or Candypants is the 
unavailable. But for one parmer to mas- totally-edible 
turbate on a regular basis, without the raste sensation 


knowledge or consent of the other partner, that's sweeping 
is pure selfishness in my opinion. He or e 
she is cheating the other of sex that is comes ind rug 
tfully the partner's. er 
hink of good sex as a good meal. If Split, Wild Cherry 
you snacked on and off all day, how - and Hot Chocolate 
would you feel when you sit down to a —you & your loving 
good dinner that had been prepared espe- friends will come 
cally for you? Well, you'd probably eat, back for more. 


but the edge would have been taken off Order Now, before 
your appetite, right? How much more the rush! 

you would have enjoyed the meal if you'd 
used a little self-control and. been really 
hungry when you sat down to eat. When 
you masturbate, you're taking the edge 
off your sexual appetite and denying your 
partner that extra energy that makes the 


m 
difference between just good sex and > ee AA SEND ME! 3 835 
7 Dear Gentleperson, I've enclosed a check or money order. [Illinois residents, please acd 5% 
really terrific sex. sales tax). Please send me. the following one-size-fits-all. totally-edible, set-me free pair/pairs 
(Name withheld by request) of male/female Candypants for $5.99 a pair or $11.00 for two pair 
McLeansboro, Illinois 
We find it hard to swallow thai : Name 
analogy. / Address 
SEX ON THE HOOF A Gm 
I have read your readers’ letters about Dune L - State 
masturbation, about oral sex, about ho- eee targa at Jewelry World 
mosexual experiences, about every sort 40151 1424 Brook Drive 
of sexual experimentation inside and Downers Grove, IIl: 60515 


59 


Pioneer has 
conquered the one 
big problem of 
high-priced turntables. 


Cp Je 
. 4 * ; 
L 
* 


The high price. 


The best way to judge the new 
Pioneer PL-510 turntable is to 
pretend it costs about $100 more. 
Then see for yourself if its worth that 
kind of money. 

First. note the 
precision-machined 
look and feel of 
the PL-510. 

The massive. 
die-cast. alumi- 
num-alloy platter 
gives an immediate 
impression of quality. The strobe 
marks on the rim tell you that you 
don't have to worry about perfect 
accuracy of speed at either 334 or 
45 RPM. 


‘The S-shaped tone arm is made 
like a scientific instrument and seems 
to have practically no mass when you 
lift it off the arm rest. The controls are 
asensuous delight to touch and are 
functionally grouped for one-handed 
operation. 

But the most expensive feature of 
the PL-510 is hidden under the 
platter. Direct drive. With a brushless 
DC servo-controlled motor. The same 
as in the costliest turntables. 

Thats why the rumble level is 
down to -60 dB by the super- 
stringent JIS standard. And thats why 


For under $200; 
ou can now own the 


direct-drive PL-510. 


the wow and flutter remain below 
0.03%. You can't get performance like 
that with idler drive or even belt drive. 
The PL-510 is truly the inaudible 
component a turntable should be. 

Vibrations 
are damped out 

by the PL-5108 
double-floating 
suspension. 
The base floats 
on rubber 
insulators 
inside the four feet. And the turntable 
chassis floats on springs suspended 
from the top panel of the base. Stylus 
hopping and tone arm skittering 
become virtually impossible. 

But if all this won't persuade you 
to buy a high-priced turntable. even 
without the high price. Pioneer has 
three other new models for even less. 

The PL-117D for under 8175: 
= The PL-115D for 
under $125% And 
the amazing 
PL-112D for 
under $1007 

None of these 
has a rumble 
level above -50 dB 
vone of them has more wow 
and flutter than 0.0776. 

So it seems that Pioneer has also 
conquered the one big problem of 
low-priced turntables. 

The low performance. 

U.S. Pioneer Electronics Corp., 
75 Oxford Drive. Moonachie, 

New Jersey 07074. 


Y PIONEER 


Anyone can hear the difference. 


For informational purposes only. The actual resale prices will be set by the individual Pioneer dealer at his option. 


PLAYBOY 


62 


Everything you need to know | reg. 125 


about CB is in this new book 25 ¢ 
by Radio Shack! 


AUWAB GUTES 
B TWO-WAY RADIO 


WITH THIS AD* 


Special Introductory Offer! 


Our just-published 116-page CB! 
pocket-size book is available now ! 
at Radio Shack stores at aj 
“give-away” price of just 25¢, prior | 
to its listing in our catalog at $1.25. ! 
If you're into CB 2-way radio or l 
getting in (as who isn't!) you'll want I 
this book to avoid costly errors. | 


" 1 
Edited by the folks who started our j 
"T"! famous Realistic CB line in 1959, | 

it's authoritative and very easy to 


Contents Include read. 9 chapters. Over 100 pictures. l 
1 e Types of radios e Antenna facts Written for laymen. None sent by 


* 5 5 mail. * Get your copy for 25€ by | 
| * Methods of installing equipment bringing this ad to any nearby I 


l e How it works e Distance e Rules — participating Radio Shack store or 


l © CB slang e Glossary = More! dealer TODAY! ! 
1 I 
1 i] 
1 © LEADING THE WAY IN | 
| Radio Shaek ce since 155 | 
..... ̃ TAM erii 


THE WAY 
THEY 
WERE 

. ONLY 
BETTER 


It's the Franklin “Cathedral” Radio. Outside, a replica of the most popular 
wireless radio of the Thirties; inside, pure Seventies technology. This AM/FM 
radio features a drift-free automatic frequency control and a hand-crafted 
wood cabinet with brass-finished hardware and illuminated dial plate. Meas- 
ures 16” high x 13” wide x 10" deep. Just $49.96*, plus $2.96 for shipping 
and handling. Use it for two weeks without obligation. If you're not completely 
satisfied, return it for full credit or refund. 

Send check or money order to: 

Playboy Preferred 

Dept. PM110 

918 N. Michigan Ave. 

Chicago, III. 60611 
No C.O.D. orders. please. Playboy Club credit keyholders may charge (please include Key 


number with order). 
"Illinois residents, please add 5% tax. 


outside marriage and anything else that is 
considered either normal or abnormal for 
men or women. So what do you say about 
bestiality? nly, Tm just curious. I 
grew up in a rural community in south 
Texas where this was a common joke and 
where a few of my high school friends 
even bragged how they had made it with 
various animals, from sheep to heilers to 
hens. In fact, I didn't know that sex with 
ls was a criminal offense until I 
got into college in 1962 and the subject 
Gime up among some prelaw students in 
the course of a beer party. I never had 
sex with an animal, mostly for lack of 
opportunity. But it never occurred to me 
that there was anything perverse about it, 
and the country boys I grew up with 
never indicated that they would prefer an 
animal to a girl, It was simply a ques 
tion of availability—what or who would 
cither hold still the longest or protest 
the least. Anyway, that’s how I saw it. 
and while this wasn't my meat (so to 
speak), 1 have never considered it sick or 
understood why laws would be passed to 
make it a aime. I never knew anyone 
who would screw an animal if there was 
a human available, and I never knew an 
animal that would care one way or the 
other as long as it was properly fed and 
cared for, 


(Name withheld by request) 
Tulsa, Oklahoma 
In ancient times, women were consid- 
ered the property of their husbands, who, 
10 this very day, tend to be possessive and 
jealous when their wives engage in sex 
with strangers. Modern farmers feel the 
same way about their livestock. Libera- 
lion takes timc. 


BUILD-UP TO A LETDOWN 
Tm a new nursing mother and I 
regularly attend meetings on techniques 
of breast feeding. One aspect of a prob- 
lem we often discuss is the letdown re- 
flex, which is the filling of the breasts 
with milk from the ducts. Hopefully, it 
occurs cach time the infant is due to 
Iced. Experienced breast-feeding mothers 
are aware of it as a tingling sensation 
and it happens automatically for them, 
but new mothers have to make it 
happen. There are various ways to do 
this, such as taking a hot shower, having 
a cup of hot milk or drinking beer, w 
or brandy. 1 am just beginning to be 
able to control the letdown reflex, but 
I never prod ly as when 
I perform fellatio. So far, though, I've 
been too shy to share this trick with 

other mothers at meetings. 
(Name withheld by request) 

Abilene, Kansas 


CORRECTING IMPOTENCE 

In the November 1975 Playboy Ad 
visor, a rather complicated surgical pro- 
cedure was described as one answer for 
the problem of impotence. Fortunately, 


Less tar than 9876 
of cigarettes-and 
ifs a PALL MALL 


Want low tar and 

UM good taste, too? 

"i Heres Pall Mall's 

x famous tobacco taste 

=| made extra mild by 

ihe Aj Stream Filler. 

At only 8 mg. of tar, Pall Mall White 
is lower in tar than 98% of all 
cigarettes sold today. 


If you smoke 2 packs a day, 
Pall Mall Extra Mild will save you 
2800 milligrams of tar every 
week (compared with the best 
selling filter king)! 

Trade in your old smoke for new 
Pall Mall Extra Mild. 


“PALL MALL EXTRA MILD . . puo 8mg— 0.8 mg. 
ing filter king r^ 18 mg Em mg. 
a 109 0 e, 0.1 mg. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
"hv. by FIC u: the "A That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
8 mg. "ter", 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


PLAYBOY 


impotence can also be corrected through 
a fairly simple operation that can be per- 
formed by a plastic surgeon or a urolo- 
gist in almost every state. Basically, two 
5 rods are inserted into 
two compartments of the penis so that 
the man is able to have intercourse. The 
penis bends quite easily, allowing the in- 
lual to wear clothing without any 
embarrassing bulge. Complications are 
re and the hospital stay is between 
three and. five days. Intercourse may be- 
gin six weeks following surgery. 

Problems of impotence are rarely scri- 
ously discussed and the subject is often 
treated with humor. However, to the man 
who suffers from erectile impotence, 
whether the cause is psychological or or- 
ganic, the results can. be personally dev- 

tating. The man usually has the desire 
nd the ability to ejaculate, but he just 
cannot get an erection. This brings about 
sclf-doubts, anxiety and depression, since 
his feelings about himself are often close- 
ly related to his sexuality. 

It is true that most cases of erectile 
impotence are psychological. There are, 
however, many organic causes; for ex- 

mple, there are probably at least 
1,000,000 men in the U, S. who are impo- 
tent from diabetes alone. As for ps 
logically impotent men, there are some, 
perhaps a great many, who do not re- 
spond to psychotherapy. No one should 
perform the penile imp i 
the psychologically impotent person as 
the method of first choice. Certainly we 
would recommend a full medical and 
psychological evaluation and a trial of 
psychotherapy before turning to surgery. 
But we in medicine cannot turn our 
backs on the psychologically impotent 
patient when conservative measures fail 
When a modern surgical procedure is 


available to alleviate a problem, it would 
gic to deny the benefits to a pa- 


be tr 
tient simply because the cause 
fied as psychological. 
James O. Stallings, M.D. 
Des Moines, low 


identi- 


SMALL BREASTS PREFERRED 

I am shocked at the idea that some 
women would attempt to augment the 
size of their breasts through plastic 
surgery. Small ts are beautil 
They're a turn-on in the sense that no 
matter how old the woman, her breasts 
will remind a man of a girl. And small- 
breasted women tend to look good at 
age, while their big-breasted counter- 
ts tend to droop like cows as they 
have children or reach middle age. If it 
is true that men are attracted to women's 
breasts as a regression to in it is 
also true that breast size has nothing to 
do with milk output. And small-breasted 
women can go without bras more suc- 
cessfully. 

Hopefully, in the future, women with 
big boobs will be looking for ways to 
reduce their bust size so as to look as 


bre: 


youthful and exciting as their small- 
ted sisters. 


Dave Thor 
Moses Lake, Washington 


SEX, FUN AND THE VATICAN 
As a former Catholic, 1 was interested 
the press reports on the new Vatican 
declaration on sex morality. Was it 
possible, I kept wondering, that my 
favorite practices might now be accept- 
able to the Pope and the college of 
linals and I could return to the 
bosom of mother Church? Alas, no. Near 
ly everything I like is still verboten. by 
Rome—except for one thing. According 
to a Vatican spokesman, the Church “is 
fully al pleasure so long 
it d in a legitimate way 
marriage 
What a breath of fresh air! What a 
revolutionary doctrine! As Lewis Car- 
roll once wrote, “O frabjous day! Cal- 
looh! Callay!” 
(Name withheld by request) 
New York, New York 


in favor of sexu 


e 


THE POLITICS OF ABORTION 

Who is Ellen McCormack? According 
to lvertisement in a newspaper pub- 
lished by the Catholic Diocese of San 
Diego. she is seeking the Democratic 
nomination for President of the U. S. As 
a candidate whose only interest is pro- 
moting the antiabortion cause, she 
perpetrating a completely legal de 
ing of the American taxpayer. 

She has successfully raised the necessary 
minimum amount of money, and the 
Government will provide matching funds 
for her campaign coffers, under terms of 
a Federal law designated to aid the less. 
financially fortunate running for that 
office. 

With the funds thus collected and as 
socalled bona fide candidate, McCor- 
mack will gain access to the media. She 
has no real intention to scck the Presi 
dency. Instead, she will spread what, in 
my opinion, is a brand of religious 
bigotry by disseminating antiabortion 
material across the country. 

That seems to me a serious blow to 
our freedoms of choice and religion. Aud 
we taxpayers are underwriting half the 
cost. 


ad- 


Robert A. Butts 
San Diego, California 


RIGHT TO MISERY 

The tto-lifers are nothing more 
than true believers whose mental de- 
ficiencies include a compelling need to 
ding to some grand theology, to defend 
it with spurious reasoning and, if pos- 
sible, to validate it by imposing it on as 
many other people as possible. They 
don't give a damn about life, particukw- 
ly the quality of life. They would ruin 
individuals lives with compulsory child- 
birth and would sce millions of children 
starve, live in poverty or without love 


and opportunity for happiness, just to 
honor theological doctrine propagated 
by the institution that dictates their be- 
liefs and otherwise relieves them of the 
ndividual responsibility to think. If the 
Pope went crackers and decreed that 
every third child be sacrificed for the 
greater glory of God, the fetus people 
would find some way to justify that 
madness, too. 


Walter Herman 
Chicago, Illinois 


PAPAL PARADOX 

The Italian parliament is considering 
a bil to liberalize abortion and the 
Vatican has issued a statement describ- 
ng abortion as "Hitlers revenge.” One 
of the favorite pieces of illogic used in 
Catholic antiabortion propaganda these 
days is the attempt to equate the destruc- 
tion of fetuses (which are not persons) 
with Hitler's genocide (which w 
petrated on persons). Consider 
Vatican’s abject silence about Hitlei 
crimes, the hypocrisy of this is sickening. 
it is easier and safer to pick 
on pregnant women now than it was to 
criticize the Nazis in the days of their 
power. 

The Vatican also turns a blind eye to 
the fact tha ent abortion 
was enacted by Hitler’s pal, the Fascist 
dictator Mussolini. This totalitarian law 
calls abortioi nst "the in- 
tegrity of the rac 

Its those who would prohibit abortion 
who arc the Hitlers, not those who would 
give women freedom of choice. 

L. Miller 
Los Angeles, Calilornia 

The only time Hiller ever gave a 
woman a choice was when he asked Eva 
Braun whether she'd. rather shoot her- 
self or take cyanide. 


ABORTION AND MINORITIES 

When he suggests that legalized abor- 
tion will somchow result in the denial of 
personhood status to racial minoriti 
the mentally retarded, Hugo Carl Koch 
(The Playboy Forum, Febru: 
to acknowledge the social conditions and 
tudes in those countries where abor- 
tion has been readily available for ye: 
For example, in Scandinavi i the 
Peoples Republic of China, the care 
afforded to those who are aged, infirm or 
mentally retarded appears to be much 
better and more extensive than in such 
countries as Brazil, Chile or Spain, where 
the right to legal abortion is denied. 
Earlier in this century, Naz Germany 
enforced onc of the harshest antiabortion 
and anticontraception policies the world 
has ever known. Clearly, this did not go 
along with respect for life generally. 
Iso, one has but to look at the people 
who consistently vore against abortion 
ights, such as Senators Dewey Bartlett, 
James Buckley and Jesse Helms; they 


GET A GO-FER. 
101 mpg. 95. 


Headlight. a 
Turn signas 4 


ASS 
Simple. 
> dependable 


New, improved Suzuki Go-fer. 


Go fér: A fun-loving, street-legal Suzuki ideal for scurrying around 
town. As in Go fer ice cream, Go-fer a haircut, Go-fer a ride", etc. 
Known to run as far as 101 miles on a gallon of gas. Reliable. Easy to 
control. Very lovable. 


The care and feeding of a Go-fer. A Suzuki Go-fer requires very 
little attention. 

The dependable two-stroke, 98cc engine has a tiny appetite. 
And the two-gallon gas tank stores enough fuel to take it a 
long way between meals. 

All the Go-fer needs is a little corner of the garage. Or any 
dry, out of the way spot. 

Important: To make your Go-fer really happy, take it out for 
a romp at least once a day. 


purse, swimsuit, 
etc. Free with every 
Go-fer sold before 
1/15/76. 


Forget your troubles. Get a Suzuki Go-fer. $ 


*Manutacturer's suggested retail price — excluding dealer prep, title, state and local taxes, 
101 mpg obtained at 30 mph under ideal conditions, Test results availabla upon request, 


PLAYBOY 


66 


The Most Natural Way To Sleep! 


The Air Bed” from Inflate-A-Bed otters you the best of many 
worlds when it comes to senous contemporary bedding. First 
oM. be prepared for the lest. most naturally pleasant and 
selistying night s Sleep you ve ever tad We ve got hundreds of 
letters attesting to this fact, and literally tens of thousands ol 
people are living ths wonderful sleeping expenence every night 
Sleeping on a cushion of ar is as nce as n sounds The Ail 
Bed" (which you inflate in minutes wilh a vacuum cleaner Or any 
air pump) shapes ilsell 10 your body almost Ike cradle-ing i1— 
rally. on a series of specally Patented "air coils.” which sup. 
part your body evenly — and with unheard of llexibiiy in a mat- 
ness No frame or innerspring is needed. although tt wil fit into 
any standard bed frame 
The Ar Bed 1S incredibly light and incredibly tough (20 
mi Poly Vinyl Chlonde). it ceans instantly with soap and water 
It deflates in minutes for you 10 fold up and fake with you any- 
where visiling. camping, beach (a dynamite water raft), or 
stoning on a shell when not in use. Itis everything a bed should 
be—delightfully sensual. highly orthopedic, and conveniently 
mobile. Try one for 2 weeks. 


|| Please send tre following Aur Beals) I not ly satshed t 


tan return vato 2 weeks lor an immedate reed. 
E] wn Size @S49 95 Full Sie ($69 95 
ate Sue de s — [7] King Sie (2599 95 
(0353 95 for shipping and insurance) 
E] Instead i preter the Drepnal Inflate aeg (same as above 
Pus a flocked velveteen hosh) 
Twn S695 [ FU @ $79 95 
Ceen dd 5 [] King @st14 95 
{Add S4 95 shipping per beat 
E] Check or MO. Enclosed (Il residents add 56 sates tx) 
Charge My Credit Card Checked Below 
Amencan Espress [) Bank D Cane 
Ej Dners Ciub Master Charge Banche 
Creói Card s. 


Master Charge Bank a—. 


p. Date. 


Stas. 2p —— 


Contemporary Marketing, Inc. 
790 Maple Lane. Bensenville 62106, 
(cal Wl Free: 600-38 208 call 312-585-0461 


THE NEW 


KENWOOD 
R-7600 


A sophisticated new luxury receiver withan inner beauty all its own! 

From its well-designed control panel to its safety-recessed back panel, the 
new top-of-the-line KR-7600 Stereo Receiver has the look and feel of luxury. 
But its real beauty is inside: big power; new distortion-cutting circ 


advanced new tuner design; 
could ask for- 


For complete information write: 


ternal layout. Inner beauty 


that delivers the most accurate stereo reproduction a musi¢-loving audiophile 


e KENWOOD 15777 South Broadway, Gardena, CA 90248 


also consistently vote against social- 
welfare policies that would benefit the 
elderly, minorities, the mentally retarded. 
and other handicapped persons. 

Roger Johnson 

Chevy Chase, Maryland 


A WOMAN'S CONSCIENCE 

I congratulate you on your response to 
the antiabortion letter from Hugo Carl 
Koch. You express my feelings on abor- 
tion and religion in one short paragraph. 

Three years ago, at the age of 15, 
I was an overly ripe female just waiting 
to be picked. A horny male of 28 plucked 
me—and got me pregnant. After battling 
ith my Catholic parents, I obtained a 
legal abortion and survived it with no 
physical or mental scars. The only thing 
I lost was an unwanted fetus. What did 
I gain? Selfreliance and self-awareness. 

I agree with rtayeoy 100 percent. 
The final authority on the morality of 
abortion can only be the woman's own 
conscience. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Scouts Valley, California 


As a woman who believes she has a 
right to terminate a pregnancy, I found 
myself in total disagreement with Hugo 
Carl Koch's letter. There are many 
children in orphanages, many of them of 
minority races. There are still more chil- 
dren in unhappy, underprivileged and 
overcrowded homes. And how many child 
beatings, most of them unreported, take 
place each year? How many children are 
growing up unloved because their parents 
went through with a pregnancy only be- 
cause of religious beliefs? Just what kind 
of hell arc all these children going 
through? 

It really upsets me to sce a person 
arguing against abortion from some 
purely abstract, philosophical position, 
without really thinking about the un- 
wanted child in the unhappy home or 
considering the feelings of the woman 
with an unwanted pregnancy. 

I, as a woman, am glad we have legal 
abortion. I have too many goals to have 
them cut short by a child 1 would not 
want and to whom I could not offer a 
loving, complete home. I feel a whole lot 
better living with my conscience know 
that 1 have not brought one more help- 
les, unwanted child into this world. 1 
am content to Icave childbearing to the 
people who truly want and will love 
the child they conceive. 

Bravo, PLaynoy, for standing next to 
women in our fight for liberation and 
our lives. 


Sandra Stohlman 
Maple Heights, Ohio 


CONSULTING THE EXPERTS 

Your reply to my letter opposing legal 
abortion states that “legal abortion is anti- 
arian: It rejects the idea that the 
state can compel pregnant women to bear 


tota 


ALUXURY SEDAN BASED ON THE BELIEF 
THAT ALL OF THE RICH ARE NOT IDLE. 


Since the time of the 
Caesars, the inspiration for 
the carriages of the gentry 
has been the blatant, 
unbridled, unabashed pur- 
suit of opulence. 

Opulence often to the 
exclusion of all else: per- 
formance, efficiency, engi- 
neering intelligence. 


5070 mph, 5.9 seconds 
Fant" fe ecors or Warme wr 
magazine. 

Even today one sees 
occasional evidence of this 
misguided sense of priorities 
—this basic misunderstand- 
ing of what it is that consti- 
tutes true luxury. 

Opera windows that 
obscure vision. Mammoth 
engines pulling mammoth 
cars. Interiors fashioned 
more along the linesof a 
Persian Pleasure Palace 
than a serious driving 
machine. Cars made pri- 
marily for sitting. 

At the Bavarian 
Motor Works ithas 
always been our conten- 
tion that a car ought to 
be made primarily for 
driving. That when all is. 
said and done, extraor- 
dinary performance is 
theonly thing that 
makes an expensive car 
worth the money. 

And, in this age of 
automotive enlighten- 
ment, we believe our 
time has come. 


POWER TO SAT- 5 


ISFY EVEN THE MOST 

POWER HUNGRY. 
Beneaththehood s. 

of the BMW 530i isa 


singularly 
responsive 3-liter, fuel- 
injected engine that has been 
called by no less an authority 
than Road & Track magazine 
the most refined in-line 
six in the world.” 

Patented triple-hemi- 
spheric, swirl-action com- 
bustion chambers develop 
remarkable power from 
7] relatively small 
displacement. 

And seven main 
bearings and twelve 
crankshaft counter-bal- 
ance weights give the 
whole operation a tur- 
bine-like smoothness 
that never ceases to 
astoundeven the experts. 

THE MAN WHO 
CONTROLS COE 
TIONS OUGHT Ti 
ON s CONTROL HIS 


ae 9055 re accus- 
. |tomedto the leaning and 
X | swaying one experiences 
| inthe conventional lux- 
| ury sedan, you will 
2 thoroughly appreciate 
| the uncanny road hold- 


The 700Ft 
by Road & Trac 
A X | measure lene changing capabilities. 
V» | BMWranthecourse at a remarkable. 
516 mph 


ing capabilities 
of the BMW 530i. 

Road holding —driver 
control is largely a func- 
tion of acar's suspension 
system. 

And, to be a bit blunt, 
BMW gives you a superior 
suspension system. Instead 
of the “solid-rear-axle” sys- 
tems found in all domestic— 
and many foreign—sedans, 
the BMW suspension is fully 


Results of the Motor Trend" 200 Ft 
Circle Test’ clearly illustrate the 
Superior road holding abilities of the 
BMW. A823 BMW vas still on the 
road, other makes were not. 


independent on all four 
wheels. 

And this, combined with 
a multi-jointed rear exle, 
allows each wheel to adapt 
itself independently to every 
driving and roed condition— 
with a smoothness and preci- 
sion that will spoil you for 
any other car. 


A DECIDED LACK OF 
IPERA WINDOW OPULENCE. 
While inside, the BMW 
530i features as long a list of 
luxury items as one could 
sanely require of an automo- 
bile, its. luxury i is purpose- 


Ol (brake) fade: 
rey re used tne 


= nodctectable sj 
The more and harder t 
Stronger they seem to gel "The editors of 
Motor Trend sumup the results of their 
rigorous multipleston brake test 


fully engineered to perform a 
very significant function: 
help prevent driver fatigue. 

All seats have an ortho- 
pedically molded shape. 
Individual seats are adjust- 
able forward and back —with 
variable-angle seat back and 
cushion supports. 

All instruments are 
clearly visible; all controls. 
are readily eccessible. 

For many serious 
drivers in all partsof the 
world, the BMW 530i has 
redefined the meaning of the 
word “luxury” to encompass 
something more than a thin 
veneer of brocade and 
chrome. 

If you'd care to judge for 
yourself, we urge you to 
phone your BMW 
dealer and arrange 
to take a thorough 
test drive. 


The ultimate driving machine. 


Bavarian Motor Works, Munich, Germany. 


For the name of your nearest dealer, or for further information, you may call us anytime, toll-free, at 800-243-6006 (Conn. 1-800-882-6500). Fog lamps, dealer installed option. 


© 1976 BMW of North America, In 


You can tell a lot about an individual by what he pours into his glass. 


Beshimills 
oe 
The“Novelist” glass created forthe Bushmills Collection by Henry Halem into their glass since 1608. 


A blend of 00% Irish Whiskies 86 Proof Bonded in Ireland. The Jos, Gameau Ca, New York, NY OH 


children against their wishes." May I 
point out, following Aristotle, that virtue 
is a mean and that it can turn into a 
vice both through excess and through 
defect. Both anarchy and the rule of 
Jaw are antitotalitarian, but the former 
is a vice through defect, while the latter 
is a mean and therefore a virtue. To 
compel a woman to become pregnant is 
totalitarianism; to compel her to take 
responsibility for the predictable result 
of a voluntary act, requiring her to bear 
the child, is the rule of law 

You state that the doctrines of the 
great ethical teachers of the major rcli 
gions, which ] cite as authority in my 
opposition to abortion, are "wide open 
to interpretation," and add, "Its any- 
body's guess w Moses, Jesus or Bud- 
dha might say about the question of 
abortion in the light of today's biologi 
cal and medical knowledge." Aside from 
congratulating you for the most sopho: 
moric statement ever to appear in the 
pages of PLAYBOY, I would like to state 
that modern biological and medical re- 
scarch tells us that once technical prob. 
lems are surmounted, human beings will 
be gestated in the laboratory as well as 
in the womb. Thus, the embryo possesses, 
fter all, the potential for sustained c: 
istence apart from the mother, the denial 
of which formed for a long time the 
crux of the argument for le bortion. 

You further state that “citing higher 
authority is often nothing more than a 
way of ducking responsibility for one's 
decisions.” I would suggest that just as 
when one has a medical problem, he 
doesn't treat himself but consults a phy. 
sician; or when he has a legal problem, he 
doesn't represent himself but retains an 
attorney; so when one has an ethical di- 
lemma, he doesn't go to the man in the 
street or solely to his own conscience. 
Unless one is gifted with the talent and 
temperament for ethical speculation, he 
is likely to be at least partially in error 

Hugo Carl Koch 
New York, New York 

You seem to think that God invented 
screwing for the primary purpose of 
making women pregnant and producing 
babies, and that anything interfering 
with this process is against God's will 
Believe what you like, preach what you 
believe, but don't try to impose your 
theology on others. Thats the rule of 
religion, not the rule of law. Childbirth 
may well bea predictable result of sexual 
intercourse, but predictable doesn't 
mean incvilable or mandatory, even by 
Aristotle's logic. 


The Playboy Forum" offers the 
opportunity for an exlended dialog be- 
lween readers and editors of this publi 
cation on contemporary issues. Address all 
correspondence to The Playboy Forum, 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michi. 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611, 


It could re-form you. 


Lumping along with a bulging 
bump of a billfold? The 

Body Billfold is out to re-form 
you. To unlump and unbump. 
the line of your otherwise 
body-tailored clothes. 
Something called the 

Living Leather Process does it 
Makes hide flex like it's alive. 
Along with the extra give and 
take of Amitys special nylon 
stitching. it gives you a billfold 
that practically pours into your 
pocket. Flat, flexible, and 
fantastically form-fitting. So. 

make your tailor happy 

try on a Body Billfold 
And re-form for good. 


the E 
body biligole 


TRIFOLD Body Billfold in Black Brass Cowhide Suggested relail: $11. Other fine leathers trom $6 
and other Body Billfolds to $17 80 Call toll free 800-447-4700 lor your nearest Amity dealer. in 
Ilinois 800-322-4400. Or write Amily, West Bend, Wisconsin 53095. 


American Tourister: 
Now they expect 


Li 


2 e f / 
bigger fips. Richard Viclor N 
uo — 
N 


67 


PLAYBOY 


68 


THE BUCKINGHAM CORPORATION, IMPORTERS - NEW YORK.N Y- DISTILLED AND BOTTLED IN SCOTLAND -BLENDED 86 PROOF: 


...and now its time for a Cutty. 


nao reaver: SARA JANE MOORE 


a candid conversation with the woman who tried to kill president ford 


In the twilight of early morning, June 
8, 1975, a black man named Wilbert 
“Popeye” Jackson and a woman friend 
were sitting in his car in San Francisco's 
Mission District, talking. Suddenly, there 
was a burst of gunfire, and when it 
stopped, both Jackson and his compan- 
ion were dead. 

At 3:30 p.m. on September 22, 1975, 
near San Francisco's Union Square, a 
single shot vang out, aimed at President 
Gerald R. Ford. The bullet missed and 
the would-be assassin, Sara Jane Moore, 
was immediately subdued. 

The two events are not unrelated— 
and both were entangled with an even 
more bizarre crime, the kidnaping of 
Patricia Campbell Hearst. Sara Jane 
Moore, a middle-aged divorcee then 
working as a free-lance accountant in 
the East Bay Area, had volunteered book- 
keeping services for the People in Need 
program set up by Randolph Hearst to 
distribute food to the poor in fulfillment 
of the demands of Patty's kidnapers, 
members of the Symbionese Liberation 
Army. Through PIN, Moore met Popeye 
Jackson, a revolutionary who headed the 
United Prisoners Union in San Francisco. 
Hearst and Moore believed that Jackson 
might, through his prison sources, be able 


“I was stunned that I missed. I just 
could not belicve that I missed. My aim 
was true, the shot was good—it was just 
that the 38 was a faulty gun. I had never 
fired that particular gun.” 


to establish contact with the S. LA. So 
Sara Jane—or Sally, as she often calls 
herself—became the liaison between Jack- 
son and Hearst. All of which brought her 
to the attention of the FBI, which re- 
cruited her as an informant, asking her 
to report on the leftist groups with which 
she was becoming affiliated—and to 
whose doctrines she says she was gradual- 
ly converted. 

From the beginning, Moore was fas- 
cinated with Jackson, whom she regarded 
as her political mentor. Eventually, she 
gave up her comfortable home in sub- 
urbia to move into an apartment in San 
Francisco only a few blocks from where 
Popeye lived. The proximity, not inci- 
dentally, made it casier for her to continue 
her FBI-divected surveillance. Jackson, 
however, began to lose favor with other 
revolutionaries, who believed he might 
have received favors from the establish- 
ment, notably Hearst, in exchange for 
his help in the search for Patty. When he 
was killed, Moore—knowing it was she, 
in statements made when she had tried 
to repudiate her FBI relationship, who 
had let the cat out of the bag about the 
Jockson-Hearst connection began look- 
ing over her shoulder. She’s been doing 
so ever since; her conviction that she was 
marked for death, she has said, made it 


"There's one part of me that’s glad 1 
didn't kill another human being, but my 
intent was to kill him. I knew what I 
was doing. The Government has tried to 
make me look like a crazy woman.” 


easier to risk the assassination. attempt. 

Who is Sara Jane Moore? Is that even 
her real name? Most reports say that she 
was born Sara Jane Kahn on Febyuary 
45, 1930, in Charleston, West Virginia, 
and that Moore was her mother’s name. 
Other published accounts vary; some say 
she was married twice, others four times; 
that she had borne four children, or five; 
that as a WAC in 1950 she fainted near 
the White House, suffering from amnesia. 
Moore herself refuses to clarify her past. 
Adding to the air of mystery surrounding 
her case is the fact that U.S. District 
Judge Samuel Conti, in pronouncing a 
sentence of life imprisonment after she 
entered a plea of guilty to the charge of 
attempted assassination, sealed all the 
trial evidence. 

Andrew Hill, a fiee-lance writer and 
television newsman in San Francisco, met 
Moore during her stint with the People 
in Need program. A year later, he saw 
her again, marching in support of Cesar 
Chavez United Farm Workers. After 
her arrest for the assassination attempt, 
Hill wrote an article about Moore, which 
she read. Deciding that he was perhaps 
one representative of the media she could 
trust, she invited him to visit her in her 
cell in the San Francisco County Jail, 


STEPHANIE MAZE 
"Look at me—would you believe it 
if 1 said, "I'm an FBI pig? A white, 
upper-middle-class suburbanite wander- 
ing around in the left? That's why I was 
good at it; I just don’t look like an agent.” 


69 


PLAYBOY 


70 


where she was incarcerated before sen- 
tencing. She has since been transferred 
to the Federal prison at Terminal Island, 
California. Hill's report on his two ses- 
sions with her, on which, plus several 
subsequent telephone conversations, this 
interview is based: 

"I wondered what everybody else won- 
dered about Sara Jane Moore: How did 
a seemingly well-educated, middle-class 
divorcee get entangled in such a mess? 
And why did she think knocking off the 
President would solve her problems? 
These are the things I asked her, and, 
to my surprise, she answered my ques- 
tions with glib candor. She talked mostly 
about the FBI, about how she had 
naively believed that its agents were truly 
her friends, and about her resentment that 
that aspect of her life had not been more 
fully publicized. She spoke compassion- 
ately about her nine-year-old son, Fred- 
erick, whom she has tried lo protect from 
the consequences of her action. She has ar- 
ranged for him to live with friends in 
her absence. 

“I came away from the sessions with 
the feeling that here was not so much a 
political kook as a victim—perhaps the 
yield of Bicentennial America, an un- 
blended brew of stars, stripes, media 
hype, domestic spying and urban guervilla 
warfare. It's especially difficult to cast this 
buoyant woman in the vole of assassin, Yet 
she has insisted, in court, that such was, 
indeed, her intent. Our conversation 
began on that note.” 


PLAYBOY: You told the court at the time 
you entered your guilty plea that you did 
tend to kill President Ford when you 
shot at him. Do you still stand by that 
statement? 

MOORE: Yes, I wish I had killed him. Since 
I was arrested, I've been in four different 
jails. In each of them, people have asked 
me, "What were you trying to do when 
you fired the shot?” I always say, "I was 
trying to kill him." "That's good for a min- 
ute or two of dead silence, because every- 
body expects I'm going to be struck dead 
on the spot. But then—whether the wom- 
en are black or white, old or young, 
assault and battery, possession of mari- 
juana or whatever—every one of them 
says, with really intense emotion, “I wish 
you had killed the motherfucker,” 
PLAYBOY: Whiat, specifically, do you have 
against President Ford? 

MOORE: Oh, Ford is a nebbish. I have 
nothing against him personally. It was 
the office of the Presidency that I was 
trying to attack. Killing Ford would have 
shaken a lot of people up. More impor- 
tantly, it would have elevated Nelson 
Rockefeller to the Presidency, and then 
people would sce who the actual leaders 
of the country are. I guess I was giving 
credit for a lot 
political awareness than he has. 
You see, what we have now is a phony 


n for 


Government. Nobody ever elected Rocky 
to the Vice Presidency; he was governor of 
a state, Nobody elected Ford President; he 
a Representative from a Congre 
al district. We've never 
racy here or anything ev 
it; now we don't even hav 
government. We have a facade up there, 
and people say, This proves the system 
works." But it doesn't. All it proves is 
that they—the real rulers of our coun- 
try—have got a good thing going. Killing 
Ford would have meant that people would 
have had to face Rocky head on, which 
should rouse a lot of people out of their 
ng daydreams. 

PLAYBOY: But how can you possibly jus- 


y assassination as a tool of political 
education? 
MOORE How you justify hitting a 


child? That's what you do when you 
spank him. A government that uses as- 
tool—whether against po- 
al leaders in other countries or against 
its own citizens to put down dissent—has 
to expect to have that tool turned against 


“A government that uses 
assassination as a tool— 
whether in other countries 
or against its own citizens— 
has to expect to have that 
tool turned against it.” 


t the necessity for it, but E think 
it will be used more and moi 


kill another human. being, but 
ll him. I knew what 
l was doing. The Government has tried 
to make me look like a crazy we 
Thats impression being delibe: 
fostered—with the press's enthu: 
operation—that I am a poor demented 
woman who wi and in a 
moment of madness fired at Geral 
PLAYBOY: Isn't that the most likely expla- 
nation of your act? 

moore: Look, in cvery cise of violent 
political protest, there is a serious attempt 
to put it down as a kook's act and as 
quickly and quietly as possible sweep it 
under the rug, where we try to hide the 
growing discontent of the people in this 
coun Am I mad? That was for the 
psychiatrists and the courts to decide, and 
they said I was competent to stand trial. 
if am mad, it's because I was driven 
10 it by a growing feeling of rage at what 
has happe! this, my country, and a 
growing feeling of frustration at being 
unable to do anything about it. 


You know, there's been a lot of talk 
about the need for more money to pro- 
vide protection for Ford and other poli 
cians. Doesn't anybody realize that the 
j to protect our so-called leaders 
tive change in 
this country so that we would have 
leaders who are of the people, a Govern- 
ment by the people and for the people? 
Thats what our American tradition says 
supposed to have. What we do 
have are PR puppets controlled by 
corporate money monsters: enemics of the 
people. Somebody, somewhere along the 
way, must strike the spark that will kin- 
dle the prairie fire of a revolution i 
America. I tried and failed. 

PLAYBOY; You've been quoted as saying 
il you had had your 44, if the police 
hadn't confiscated it, you would have got 
Ford. Is that what you feel? 

MOORE: Well, you know, I was stunned 
that I missed. I just could not believe that 
I missed. The trajectory of the shot, 
the hi ol the gun, leads me to believe 
that my aim was true, the shot was good— 
it was just that the .3 
Thad never fired that 
-38 I used that day. The police had confis- 
cated my 44 the day before, so 1 had to 
get another gun that morning, Septem- 
ber 22. 
PLAYBOY: And your shot went wild. What 
were you aiming for? 

MOORE: His face. 1 knew he was wearing 
a bulletproof vest. It was always going to 
be a face shot. I'd been practicing. 
PLAYBOY: What did you practice on? 

MOORE: A board about cight inches wide. 
PLAYBOY: Can you recall any of your feel- 
ings that day, when you fired at the 
President? 

MOORE: I can even recite for you a poem. 
1 wrote at the time. I think it expresses 
my Icelings as well as anything: 


Hold—hold 

Still my hand 

Stcady my eye 

Chill my heart 

And let my gun 

Sing for the people 
Scream their anger 
Cleanse with their hate 
And kill this monster. 


PLAYBOY: Was there no moment at which 
your determination wavered? 

MOORE: Oh, yes. There was a point where 
anything could have stopped me and al- 
most did. The most 1 little th 
and I would have said, “Oh, this 
ludicrous. What am 1 doing standing 
here?" There was a point where I was 
trapped . . . L was actually up on the 
ropes, my hand in my purse, my finger 
on the trigger and the hammer back on 
the gun. I couldn't move, even if 1 had 
wanted to leave. I did try to leave once, 
but the crowd was just so tight . . . there 
was a point where I thought, “This 
to be the most ridiculous thing I ha 


Winner of the 1876 
Motor Trend Magazine 
Car of the Year Award, 


Dodge 


Asp 


en RT. 
For the person with driving ambition. 


, There are people who won't settle with just 
going along for the ride. 

And it is to these people we dedicate the 
Dodge Aspen R/T. 

Aspen R/T has a bold look. With a handsome 
blacked-out grille, wide rallye wheels, and 
distinctive stripes. 

And its actions are quick. Decisive. Thanks to 
a proven 318 V8 engine and heavy-duty Isolated 
Transverse Suspension system. 


Yet for all its remarkable attributes, Aspen R/T 
has a surprisingly low price. 

Asa matter of fact, Motor Trend magazine has 
found Dodge Aspen so unbelievable for its low. 
price they named it 
Car of the Year. 2 

So if you have driving 
ambition, don't just go D] 
along for the ride. Drive CHRYSLER 
the 1976 Dodge Aspen R/T. CORPORATION 


PLAYBOY 


72 


The Konica C35-EF gets the 
shots that used to get away. 
Becauseit’s the only 35mm camera 
with a built-in electronic flash! 

Press a button, the flash pops up 
ready for use. Just focus and shoot. 

You'll get perfect avallable· ight 
pictures everytime because the 
C35-EF automatically sets the 
exposures for you. Or get perfect 
flash shots because the C35-EF 
automatically sets correct flash 
exposures. 

You'll always have a flash in a 
flash. See the Konica family of 
automatic 35mm cameras, 
including the Autoreflex, the world's 
most advanced automatic and 
manual SLR, at your dealer. Or write 
for brochure to Konica Camera, 


Woodside, N.Y. 11377. 


done in my entire life. What the hell am 
I doing here. getting ready to shoot the 
President?” I turned around to leave. 
Couldn't get through the crowd. 
PLAYBOY: Weren't you concerned that you 
ht shoot an innocent bystander? 
MOORE: One of the things that bothered 
me about my court hearing was that one 
of the Secret Service agents lied about 
that. He said I told him I would have 
shot into the crowd. Actually, I told him 
I wouldn't have. That morning, I was 
listening to the newscasts about the Pres- 
ident's coming in at the airport. The me- 
dia people reported that he had been so. 
surrounded by Secret Service men that 
they hadn't been able to see him. And I 
thought, “Oh-oh,” because that possibil. 
ity had never occurred to me. If he had 
come out with people very close to him or 
in front of him, I would not have fired. 
PLAYBOY: The possibility of Ford's being 
surrounded never occurred to you? Only 
a few weeks earlier, Lynette Fromme had 
pointed a gun at him, in the same part 
of the country. Certainly you realized he 
would have guards? 
MOORE: Yes, 1 knew he would have guards, 
but a politician can't appear to fear the 
people and has to risk some exposure to 
them. "Thats why I had wanted to go to 
Palo Alio, where he was spcaking the 
day before—to see what kind of security 
was around him. But I never got there, 
because I was picked up by the San Fran- 
cisco police on orders—as I learned later 
that night—of the Secret Service. 
PLAYBOY: What was their reason for sus- 
pecting you? 
MOORE: The San Francisco Police Depart- 
ment said it had had a tip I was carrying 
a loaded gun. The gun, my 44, was not 
loaded, and they let me go after a couple 
of hours. But they did keep both the gun 
and the ammunition they found in the 
car. When the Secret Service men picked 
me up later that night, they admitted it 
was they who had ordered the arrest 
They said it was because they had had 
a tip I was going to Palo Alto with a 
loaded gun and might be planning t0 
shoot the President. I told them I had 
wanted to go to Palo Alto to attend the 
anti-Ford demonstration, not to shoot the 
President, and that I had a gun with 
me because I always carried it 

At the end of the interview, 1 à 
“What the hell does all of this mean? 
"They said, “In the future, any time you 
and the President are in the same city, we 
will come and get you and at least talk to 
you." I asked. “For how loi or the 
rest of your life.” And 1 was sitting there 
thinking, "My God, for the rest of my 
life!" They took me back to my flat about 
midnight or one o'clock. This is going to 
sound silly, but they had thrown mc onc 
hell of a challenge. They had my gun. 
they had my picture, but they had also 
set things up so that the only chance I 
had of doing this was the next day. "They 


ked, 


felt safe ... I seemed like such an un- 
likely assassin- 

PLAYBOY: When did you first get the idea 
of killing Ford? 

MOORE: I don't think there was any one 
instant when I said, “I think it would be 
a political protest 


a nice thing to do 
to kill the President.” 

PLAYBOY: But there had to be some point 
at which you started to take the steps that 
would get you to Union Square on the 
22nd of September. 

moore: Yes, but 1 think that it was 
culmination of things. I had been polir 
ally active—active in terms of doing 
as an FBI informant; 1 already 


thing: 
had the habit of political protest. And 
there was more and more pressure being 
put on me. There was considerable pres 
sure brought on me from the lelt in 
terms of proving my commitment—every 
thing I did, everything they asked me to 
do that I did, wasn't enough. And 1 was 
getting angrier at injustices I saw. The 
escalation of what to me was an accept 
able political act had begun some time 
before. There was also the need to break 
the tie with the FBI. 

PLAYBOY: What tie with the FBI? Haven't 
you stated publidy tat you stopped 
working for the FBI in 19742 

MOORE: "That's the story I've always told 
previously, but it was true only a as 
it went. I did blow my own cover in July 
of 1974, and for some time I didn't do 
anything for the FBI. But I didn't 
down and storm the FBI office and say 
“I quit" And eventually, by 1975, I had 
become a double agent 

PlAYBOY: How long did you continue as 
a double agent? 

MOORE: All the timc. 

PLAYBOY: Wait a minure. Were you. in 
fact, doubling until the very last mo. 
ment—say until the day before you took 
the shot at the President? 

moore: Oh, the day before the shot, I 
don't think I was doing anything. 
PLAYBOY: But right up to September 19752 
MOORE: I'm not going to answer that, and 
Fm not sure that I could. I talked to 
Bert, my FBI conuol officer, the morning 
of the assassination attempt, but it had 
nothing to do with that. God, it is all 
really hard to explain. But the FBI wasu't 
going to throw me out and I wasn't feel 
ing strong enough to break the tie by my 
self. So, for a long time, I'd been trying 
to do something that would accomplish 
two things: Number one, it would public 
ly commit me to several things I had said: 
and, number two, I planned to burn my 
self so badly with my FBI contacts that 
they would not dare use me again. 
PLAYBOY: We'd say you succeeded in burn 
ing yourself with the FBI. But let's exam 
ine what you just said about committir 
yourself publicly. Can you honestly sa 
that there wasn't something in you— 
aside from any political considerations— 
was seeking the limelight? Didn't you 


The Scotch that's on the march. 


Other leading Scotches may be rnarking time, but not Passport. This is the Scotch that's gone to 
over 8 million bottles a year. And into 107 countries. In only 7 years. The reason? A superior taste 


th). Without ice. Few Scotch 
vere can iet ihet combination pase henry, PASSPORT Scotch 


The spirit of 


OWN PURE 


Pure gold bars intact in 


beautifully, custom designed 
settings for men and women 


Crosses /Stars of David // Charms 
Ladies & Mens Pendants 
Money Clips/ Cufflinks Tie lacs 


This pure solid gold bar* jewelry becomes 

part of your life style. yours to enjoy 

wearing as fine jewelry, yet always available to 
be redeemed for immediate cash anywhere 

in the world . . .a strong hedge against 

inflation and for emergencies. And now you 
can own PURE SOLID GOLD BARS OF 
999.9/1000 fine content delivered by mail 
anywhere in the free world 


FULL MONEY BACK GUARANTEE 


All of our gold transactions are guaranteed. If for any 
reason you are not totally satisfied with your purchase, 
return within 10 days for an unquestioned full refund 


Send for your free brochure today! 


To: FORT KNOX GOLD GUILD 
Locked Drawer #8 
Fort Knox, Kentucky 40121 


O Send brochure showing designs, prices and full 
information on your solid pure gold bar jewelry. 


send complete information on how | can own 
solid pure gold bars to protect my financial future. 


Name. — 


Address. 


— tete = E 


1888 Century Pork Eo 
Suite 1608 / Century City, Call 


want to make history in the most notori- 
ous way possible? 

MOORE: No, I was not seeking publicity; 
the world-wide publicity stunued me. My 
world had become so small and so local 
that I thought only in those terms. I 
hoped the act would mark a turning 
point in history but thought of myself as a 
tool of history rather than a maker of it. 
I still cannot fully understand or accept 
how much attention has been focused on 
me personally. It was the act and its 
reasons that were important—that it 
happened to be me was important. only 
in that my background woud, I hoped, 
embarrass and damage the FBI and the 
Government. 

PLAYBOY: When Judge Samuel Conti 
pronounced sentence on you, he ex- 
pressed the opinion that you never would 
have shot at Ford if we still had capital- 
punishment statutes on the books. You 
wrote to him that the death penalty would 
not have deterred you; you said you were 
“already under a death sentence.” What 
did you mean by thal 
NOORE: I had been 
threats, Just in the previous few weeks, 
1 had finally got scared enough to ask 
the San Francisco Police Department for 
protection. I was going to get kiled. I'm 
glad to see stories in the papers, finally, 
that people are admitting they had told 
me that. If anyone was saying 1 was safe, 
I never heard it. I even got calls from 
people out of town, saying, “My God, do 
you know what we've heard from our 
underground contacts?” They were call- 
ing to tell me 1 was going to be killed. 
The FBI had told me | was in danger 
and they wanted to contact the S.F.P.D. 
1 got them to promise not 10 do it with- 
out my permission, but they did it any- 
way. When people began dying around 
me, though, 1 began to think maybe 1 
was next. 

PLAYBOY: People such as Popeye Jackson, 
the black revolutionary friend of yours 
who was murdered last June? 

MOORE: Yes. 
PLAYBOY: What reason did the FBI give 
for thinking you were in danger? 

MOORE: One of their other sources had 
told them an organization on the left 
had discovered 1 w pig and wanted to 
take care of me. The FBI didn't know 
for some time that 1 had blown my own 
cover to the left; I didn't teil them. I 
went through a very freaky time. 
PlavBov: How did that whole tangle 
your involvement with the FBI and with 
the underground left—get started? 
MOORE: I had been a political activist all 
my life. People tend to think of a politi- 
cal activist as a left-wing person, but a 
political activist is someone who goes out 
and does things. I had worked for things 
I believed in for a long time, some of 
them for 20 or 30 years, and they hadn't 
got much better. 


receiving death 


PLAYBOY: Such as? 
MOORE: Civil rights, particularly. I think 
I first became involved when I was a 
teenager and Marian Anderson was to 
sing in a concert in my home town. There 
was a controversy because she refused to 
ing in a segregated public auditori 
PLAYBOY: Where was that? 
MOORE: I never talk about my p 
at all. That's the choice I've made. J feel 
if people who knew me wish to come 
forth and identify themselves with me 
that should be their choice, not something 
1 dragged them into. 

PLAYBOY: What about the more recent 
past? How did you come to work for 
the FBI? 

MOORE: It all started when I volunteered 
to work for the People in Need program, 
the food-distribution centers that Randy 
Hearst set up after Patty was kidnaped. 
Popeye, who was head of the United 
Prisoners Union, offered to help Randy 
get in touch with Patty, and I was the 
go-between, The FBI learned about it 
and asked me who had made the offer 
and I was afraid to tell them. I asked 
them why they wanted to know and they 
told me that they were not interested in 
picking this person up; they were not 
interested even in what he was going to 
do. They said it was their policy never 
to interfere with anything the family did, 
that their sole concern was the safe return 
of the kidnaped victim. After the victim 
as safely returned, you bet your boots 
they were going to go out and catch the 
kidnapers and maybe kill them if they 
resisted, but, according to them, until 
that point, they never interfered with any 
arrangements the parents made. But they 
said, as 1 was well aware, Randy had be 
ripped off dozens of times. We sat down 
and estimated how many times Randy or 
his agents had gone out on the street at 
:30 in the morning with $300 to buy 
information, We had all been this routc. 
PLAYBOY: You speak of Hearst as Randy. 
Had you him 
kidnaping? 

MOORE: No. I had met the Hearsts once 
years before at a social function, but we 
didn't know one another. 

PLAYBOY: So you finally told the FBI 
that it was Popeye who made the offer? 
MOORE: Yes, I told them. Now, this was 
a freaky thing. The FBI agents were in 
and out of Randy's office all the time. 
As a matter of fact, my first conversation 
with than inside Hearst's 
office itself. So when they said they 
wanted me someone else from 
the bureau, I said, “Fine.” And I called 
them the next moming on my coffee 
break—we had arranged that—and they 
told me, “Go stand on such and such a 
street corner and a green car with license 
number so-and-so will pick you up." I 
thought, “This has to be the wildest B- 
movie nonsense I l 


known before Pauys 


had been 


to me 


c ever heard in my 


Life Bosun T-Shirt / Slum Guy Brief Life? Tapered T-Shirt/Slim Guy Boxer 


A06 


e 
BRAND 


Life? International Denim T-Shirt/Brief 


. — . — Jockey International, Ing Ker nsi 53140. 
=. | " 
bu 

4 4 a 
| " 
| N | 

| 1 i | ^ 
Micro*2™ Brief | Life” International Scandia Mesh A Shirt / Brief Classic Brief/V-Neck T-Shirt 


Earl Times. To know 


ed 


Alan Breward: "The Boston 


1 t. 
Bourbon Mary is bloody terrific? Brenda Rhoden: "Keep it 
eee, simple Sion Early Times 
0 taste (or 117 pey Mix). 8 018 m gar aata ith Cliff Freeman: “You ain't 
ingredients to hig! glass is simply super, wit istlin" ii 
filled with ice. Garnish/lime slice. Early Times and ginger ale. Wale Dixie win 


It's that simple. 
- RECIPE: Shake with cracked 
ice 1 oz. EARLY TIMES, 3/4 oz. 
Green Creme de Menthe, 
3/402.White Creme de Cacao, 
10z. Cream. Strain into 
_ whisky sour glass. 


A, 


Tim Love: “l'Il take my 
unusual...Early Times Babette Jackson: 
and The Uncola?" “The Pussycat is Purr-Fect? 


When smooth mellow Early The Pussycat is as easy to makeas 

Times meets liaht 9 7 buying a Por "d Bartenders! instant 

youvegot a smooth, mellow, Pussycat Mix. But remember, a Pussycat a 6 H 

light winner. without Early Times is a dog. Gwynn Hart: mmm. in L.A. 


they sure know how to make Luv!” 
RECIPE: In Blender combine 1 oz. EARLY 
TIMES, 1 oz. Creme de Banana, 1/2 oz. 

Triple Sec, 1/2 oz, Lemon Juice, 2 oz. 
Pineapple Juice, with ice; pour in highball 
glass half filled with cracked ice. Garnish/ 
pineappleslice, straw. 


1— Angie Daye: "The Miami Sunset is next to the next best 
thing to being there? RECIPE: Fill highball glass with ice. Add 2 oz. EARLY TIMES 
Jack Irving: “i started with and 1 oz. Triple Sec. Fill with orange juice, and stir. Float teaspoon Grenadine. 
Early Times and cola and I'm 
Sticking with Early Times and cola? 
You cant go wrong with two of Americas 


great tastes. The super smooth taste of cola 
and the smooth super taste of Early Times. 


The Meads: "Early Times. Splash it 
with water, squirt it with soda or 
just take on-the-rocks. 

We know it and we love it? 


Tom Fields: “Everybody 
should have a New York 
Experience. Even in Peoria? 
RECIPE: Combine 102. EARLY 
TIMES, 1 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. Dry 
Vermouth, with cracked ice; 

Strain into stem glass. Garnish/ 

lemon twist. Or try it on-the-rocks 
foran equally great experience. 


PLAYBOY 


78 


REGAL 
SATIN SHEETS 


— are 
18 GREAT COLORS 
OURS ARE MACHINE WASHABLE 
YES, THE SAME 225 THREAD COUNT 


YOUR CHOICE IN 
IN THESE EXCITING COLORS: 
Dark Brown, Bronze, Honey Gold, 
Midnight Black, Navy Blue, Royal 
Blue, Powder Blue, Silver, White, 
Pedal Pink, Hot Pink, Scarlet Red, 
Florida Orange, Canary Yellow, 
Emerald Green, Mint Green, Deep 
Purple, and Lavender. 
EACH SET INCLUDES: 
1 straight top sheet 
1 fitted bottom sheet 
2 matching pillowcases 


or 
2 straight top sheets 
2 matching pillowcases 
All tax, postage, and handling 
charges are included in the 
following prices: 
TWIN- $20.00 
DOUBLE- $24.00 (Full Size Bed) 
QUEEN- $26.00 
Std. KING— $30.00 ( 78"x 80") 
Calif. KING— $30.00 ( 72" x 84") 
ROUND 84" fitted— $45.00 
ROUND 96" fitted— $50.00 
SEND CHECK OR MONEY ORDER 
5095 deposit on C.O.D.'s 
Retail sales direct Monday thru 
Saturday 8am— 4:30pm 
REGAL SATINS, INC. 
315 Hwy, 3-35 Dept. P1 
Eatontown, N.J. 07724 
DELIVERY TIME..... 
Money Orders-- Shipped same day 
if color in stock 
Checks--2-3 Weeks 
FOR RUSH RUSH ORDERS 
TELEPHONE.. 


201-542-8055 


life.” They were serious; they do it just 
like in the movies. I don't know whether 
the movies are made because that’s the 
way the bureau does it or whether the 
movies have done it so often that the bu. 
reau plays along, but I swear to God 
it's exactly like that—the codes and all, 
just like a very bad movie script. There 
I was, standing on a street corner feeling 
so obvious, when the green car pulled 
up with a man in the back seat 

PLAYBOY: Wlio was in the back seat? 
MOORE: Bertram Worthington, who later 
became my control officer. They wanted 
to go somewhere and have coffee, but I 
was scared, They had so firmly convinced 
n't cool for me to be scen with 


me it w 


them that I was afraid to have coffee 
with them. So I suggested somewhere in 
Golden Gate Park and they said, “Well, 
you're twice as obvious sitting in a parked 
car.” We compromised by going out to 
Pacific Heights and. parking. 
something that’s very true 
private place is a public place. 
At any rate, I told the FBI then that 
the man who had made the offer to 
Randy Hearst was Popeye Jackson. Bere 
said, “It’s highly improbable, but it's 
possible that they would trust him." 
PLAYBOY: They meaning the Symbionese 
Liberation Army? 
MOORE Yes. They asked me a lot of 
questions about what Popeye said and 
why I thought he kne people 
and I answered them. They said that he 
was telling the truth, that he did know 
them. They asked me if I would look at 
some pictures and I said yes. At a sub- 
sequent meeting with Worthington. I 
looked at the pictures, identified some 
people I had either seen or met, identi- 
fied one man I had met on two or 


hey said 
he most 


ions. 
They said that they had a continuing 
interest in that one man in particular. 
"Then I asked, "What has this got to do 
with the SLA. and Patty and Popeye?” 
They said, "We [eel that if anyone is 
currently in touch with the S.L.A., this 
man is.” 
PLAYBOY: Who was he? 

NOORE: I've never identified him publicly. 
Ive given him a pseudonym; I call him 
"Tom. When the FBI agents told me they 
thought Tom was in touch with the 
SL.A. I said, “You're joking.” They 
assured me that they were not. I had 
several conversations with Worthington. 
He asked at onc point if 1 thought I 
could arrange to see Tom again and if 
1 was willi 
with them 


o do so. I agreed to work 
nd Tom became my target 


I was at that time attending benefits, 


seminars and things on the background 
of the left. I was listening to left people— 
not the left people I'd worked with in 
the antiwar movement, not liberals or 


anything like that, but guerrilla types, 


closer to terrorist types. Not Weather- 
people, not S.L.A. but the group of 
people in the middle who stand up and 
support the bombers. 

PLAYBOY: Did you come to belicve that 
Tom was connected with the S.L.A.? 
MOORE: Oh, well, he admitted it. Yes, 
he knew most of the S.L.A. people. He 
had recruited two of the original 
women—not into the S.L.A. itself but 
into an organization that he belonged to. 
PLAYBOY: You don't know which one? 
MOORE: Yes, but I'm not going to say. 
PLAYBOY: Is he still active? 

MOORE: Yes. 

PLAYBOY: The FBI is therefore maintai 
ing its continuing interest in him? 
MOORE: Oh, sure. The FBI's going to chop 
him down 


id everybody else, too. The 


FBI practice is to chop down the leaders 
before they get anywhere. And they're 
good at it. 

PLAYBOY: Did the FBI also maintain an 
interest in your connection with Jackson? 
MOORE: The FBI didn't care that much 
about Popeye. Ir used him as—kind of 
a training thing for me. All that we 
talked about in terms of Popeye was how 
his people were reacting to me—how I 
felt about what was being said at the 
benefits and seminars I was attending; 
in other words, was I being accepted by 
And there were some mes 


ap 
repu 
sociates. One of those messages I believe 
to have been authentic. 

PLAYBOY: Why? 

MOORE: It had the right feel. Number 
one, the way Popeye treated it; numba 
g of it. By that time, 
I was permeated with the S.L.A. I knew 
people who knew its members; | had 
read every communiqué, had a c 


two, the wordir 


I was one of the few people around who 
had a copy of every onc of its tapes, every 
one of its communiqués 

PLAYBOY: What happened to your collec- 
tion? 

MOORE: I hope it hasn't been lost. The 
FBI confiscated it after I was arrested, 
but I think it has been returned to my 
attorney's office. 

PLAYBOY: Did the FBI believe the mes- 
sage was genuine? 

MOORE: No, the FBI had doubts about 
its authenticity. One thing about the 
FBI, irs very specific. For instance, if I 
were writing a report on you today, I 
would give the date, what time you got 
here, that you ing brown 
corduroy pants and Hush Puppy shoes. 


were we: 


eic, eic. I asked them once why they 
kind of detail, 
thought was trivial: where we had coffee, 


whether you 


wanted that which I 
how you took your coffee, 


ordered anything with it, the content of 


your social conversation as well as your 


— „ 4 
Yes, Levi's. Panatela slacks that you can wear with any 
But with a look that's so different, we'vegiven Panatela top. And vice-versa). 

them a different name: *Panatela? What you can't see from the picture 
As you can see from the picture, is that Panatela—for all its style and 

Panatela is quite a styling change for good taste—still has the superb fit and 

Levi's. Very contemporary. Very upscale. sound construction that’s made the 
The outfits here started with a VISA" Levis brand a legend in its own time. So 

fabric of 100% Dacron* polyester. This the next time you're shopping for some- 

crisp double knit of easy care, non-glitter thing really special, try Panatela. The 

Dacron has been carefully tailored into legend will suit you handsomely. 

a whole wardrobe of color coordinated slacks Because theres a little bit of Levis in every- 

and tops(so there's always more than one pairof thing Panatela makes. 


Yes, Levis Pan " 


with Dacron? polyester 


PLAYBOY 


80 


political conversation. They said it was 
because they needed to know these 
people as well as their best friends knew 
them or better. I asked them why and they 
said, "So we'll be able to predict how 
they'll react." And they do. They know 
the most intimate details about people— 
if they really decide they want to know. 
about you, theyll know how often you 
go to the bathroom, I swear to God. 
PLAYBOY: How much money did the FBI 
offer for your services? 
The money thing I would like 
. I never took money for services. 
money in the beginning. 
but finally I did accept reimbursement for 
expenditures. If they said to me, “Go to 
this store and buy this book,” I would 
go, and when I gave them the book, I'd 
say, “That will be $1.55." The actual 
amount of money I received from the 
FBI was $816.26. 
PLAYEOY: Were the FBI agents people you 
could talk to and trust? Did you see them 
socially and regard them as real people? 
MOORE: In the beginning, yes, I regarded 
them as real people—but I don’t totally 
regard them as real people now. 
PLAYBOY: What happened to alienate you 
from them? 
MOORE: Well, they targeted me to infil- 
trate a group—they moved me very 
quickly. First of all, by the time the 
S.L.A. thing became moot, my purpose 
had changed. The people this man, Tom, 
knew were killed in the shoot-out in Los 
geles where six S.L.A. members were 
Killed, so it never came up again. He 
knew Emily and Bill Harris, but they 
weren't the people he really knew well. 
By that time, I had really gone the 
FBI route, infiltrating a Communist 
cadre group and reporting on it. I was 
by then a real Potential Security Inform- 
ant, a P.S.L, as they call it. It was freaky. 
I didn't like what I was doing. Those 
people were not at all what the FBI 
had pictured them to be—thcy'd pictured 
them to be kind of cvil incarnate, paid 
agents of a foreign government. They 
painted them as real baddies and 1 met 
them—and they weren't baddies at all. 
The people 1 met were very dedicated, 
extremely. I found I shared their dreams 
and ] envied their dedication. 
PLAYBOY: Which groups did you inform 
on? 
MOORE: I reported on the Vietnam Veter- 
ans Against the War/Winter Soldier Or- 
E ion, on the Revolutionary U 
a the October League, on the Socialist 
Workers Party and on the Communist 
League, which later became the Com- 
munist Labor Party. I reported on groups 
and people peripheral to the Weather 
Underground. I reported on the Prairie 
Fire Organizing Committee. In addition, 


I filed reports on the U. S. a People's 
Friendship Association, the May First 
Movement and K.D.P, which is the 
Philippine Liberation Group. I also re- 
ported on the Black Workers Congress. 
PLAYBOY: What is meant by reporting on 
groups and individuals? What, specifi- 
cally, did you do? 

MOORE: I take shorthand, so at meetings 
I wrote up minutes. Al most meetings, 
people take notes, so nobody paid much 
attention to me. I made notes on conver- 
sations that took place before and after 
mectings: who said what to whom. I also 
reported on idual people. I supplied 
the FBI with addresses and phone num- 
bers—even on one occasion stealing and 
copying an address book belonging to 
someone they had a continuing interest in. 
1 reported on study groups I heard about 
and who participated and what they were 
reading. I looked at pictures taken at 
demonstrations, identifying people and 
their organizational alliliations. 1 gave 
the FBI literature and, on a couple of 


“One thing about the FBI, 
it’s very specific. 

If they really decide they 
want to know about you, 
they ll know how often you 
go to the bathroom, 

I swear to God." 


occasions, copics of interr 
of groups 1 knew. Some 


1 policy papers 
nes ] made 
zations, spotting evi- 
n them, and 
so on. The FBI always likes to know who 
in an organization is getting at the 
group. One of its primary ways of re- 
cruiting people is making contact with 
those who are mad at organizations. If 
they haven't already left the group, the 
FBI tries to get them to smooth over 
their differences, stay in the group and 
report on it. If they've already left the 
group, the FBI will contact them and 
see if they want to be debriefed about 
the organization. 

PLAYBOY: Were your assignments specific? 
MOORE: Oh, I rarely had real assignments. 
They were more like suggestions to check 
on particular groups. I didn't report on 
every group 1 was associated with. I 
worked in coalitions; I went to seminars; 
1 met people; I listened. 1 jabber on and 
on and it’s a real fooler, because people 


analyses of org 


think of me as old gabby box, but old 
gabby box listens. 

PLAYBOY: Did you ever give the FBI any 
information that turned out to be de- 
structive to the organizations and indi- 
viduals you reported on? 

MOORE: Well, I know now, because of the 
things I've seen since my arrest, that 
they started files on people they didn't 
previously have files on. Someone asked 
me if anyone was now in prison as the 
result of any report tat I had made. I 
countered that by saying there are some 
people in prison on whom I had filed 
reports. Whether or not anything I said 
directly or indirectly responsible for 
their arrests, I do not know. 

PLAYBOY: Was Worthington your only 
FBI contact? 

MOORE: No, I answered questions for 
other agents who knew me only in terms 
of my code name. My veal identity was 
known, I was told, only to my contact 
and his immediate superior. Not even the 
director himself knew my tue identity. 
1 think that was a pile of shit, all that 
supposed secrecy. Although the reason 
the bureau gave me for it at the time was 
really very good. They said they did not 
want anybody to make a slip. In other 
words, if 1 were somewhere where people 
were being arrested, or if I were participat- 
ing in a demonstration, they did not want 
any other agent to make a slip in public 
PLAYBOY: Why did you blow your own 
cover in 1974? Was it under pressure 
from left-wing organizations? 

MOORE: No, there. was no pressure then. 
1 had not yet converted to Marxism. I 
knew so little . . . I still know very little 
about Marxism. But I began to sce that 
the leftist people I was working with were 
not enemies of this country—they were 
dedicated people working for qualita- 
tive change. They were not evil. Yes, they 
recognized revolution, they were dedi 
cated to the armed overthrow of the 
Government—because they did not think 
there was any other way to do it. 1 be 
came aware of how dangerous what 1 
was doing was, how dangerous it was in 
terms of those people. I was looking at 
people getting arrested on the basis of 
information like that which 1 was telling 
the EBI—I was looking at people getting 
killed. I couldn't do what I was doing 
anymore. You can't fink on friends. You 
can't be a snitch. I could always have 
walked away from it; I could have just 
gone back out to suburbia and done my 
thing. I was still living in suburbia at 
that point. But 1 didn't want to—I 
wanted to continue to study. I didn't 
know if these people had the right an- 
swers, but certainly they seemed to have a 
viable alternative. But the bureau still 
knew where to find me; I would be under 


surveillance like everybody el 
afraid of the burea 
agents are quite honest about killi 
people. They have three ways they ne 
tralize people. One of those three ways 
is to kill them. 
PLAYBOY: What are the two others? 

They convict them or they has 

1 they burn out. 

PLAYBOY: Somcone the bure: 


MOORE: Oh, yes; they're quite open about 
the way they handle these things. They 
Ik about nei 
finally asked. th 
by neutr 


hesitate; they go armed. 
vho first said to me 


y shoot. For me to get up the courage 
to try to shoot someone—you don't know 


They really d 
wone thinks they do, th 
Death for them is simply a way 


PLAYBOY: Is that what you were referring 
to earlier when you said a government 
that used tool must 
expect it to be turned against 
you have Jearned the use of 
as a tool from the F 
MOORE: P; 
so much killing. 
PLAYBOY: Just how did you go sth 
ing your leftist friends that you h 
n FBI informa 
At first I told only Tom. That 
à July of 1974, as I said. It was really 
funny. The t that I told him 1 w. 
pig—it was the first time I'd ever used the 
word pig—I was just talking to him and 
id. Theres something I've got to 
Il you." 1 


ve it. Look at me—would you 
believe d, an FBI pig 
white, upper-middleclass suburbanite 
wandering around in the lelt? Well, he 
didn't believe it, either. That's why 1 was 
good at it; I just don't look lik > 
But he asked me enough questions to 
satisfy himself and finally he realized that 
1 was, indeed, what I said I g 
reaction? 
1 the FBI would 


nd it doesn't re 


ve to tell you th: 
you, they've got you. 
id that they would never 


Theres a simple virtue that separates 
the extraordinary from the ordinary 


Dedication. 
The kind of dedication that produces 
the identifiable excellence that makes 


Beefeater Gin, 
Beefeater Gin. 


PLAYBOY 


Jet me go—not and keep working on the 
left. Tom had to talk it over with his 
group. 

PLAYBOY: Then what happened? 

MOORE: The decision of Tom's group was 
that I à security risk to them and 
therefore they had to br off all contact. 
with me. However, they believed in my 
sincerity and thercfore they were making 
what to them was a dangerous decision. 
They would not tell anyone chec I was 
a pig. I was left free to find my way in 
the movement as best 1 could. So, 
many months, Tom said nothing to any- 
one. which means he was going directly 
contrary to the code, and therefore I do 
not feel that I can ever say who he is, 
because I do not want it to land on him 
that he didn't tell. 

PLAYBOY: What did you say to the FBI? 
MOORE: Nothing, at first. 1 got a call 
from Worthington telling me he would 
be in Washington and we would be out of 
touch for a while. So e before 
I told him I had blown m: 
PLAYBOY: Bur even afte 


for 


your confession 


to Tom, you went back to the FBI. Why? 
nit, 


MOORE: I'm not sure I can expla 
partly because I. don't totally underst 
why myself. When Tom said, “ 
your own way" and cut off all contact, 1 
didu't realize how thoroughly I was going 
to be isolated. When you're in a group, 
you're getting mailings, you're talking 
to people, you're going to 
When they cut you off, you're really cut 
off. 1 had periphe e contacts with 
other groups, but I was not happy 
with surface contacts. Being out of touch 
with the FBI also made me realize to what 
extent my studies had been directed by 
them and that it was from them I Was 
really learning who was doing what on 
the left, I remember thinking the only 


- way I was going to make my own way was 
M going 


10 have the Feds head me in another 
direction. 
I also began to remember things the 


FBI had told me about Tom and his 


Tom's group 
might not be setting me up. What he 
had done was contrary to all I had heard 
about the way agents" were treated 
when they were discovered. And you have 
10 ember that violence and death were 
real in the Bay Arca then—Marcus 
Foster had been killed, Patty Hearst kid- 
naped. The People in Need program op- 
erated in a sca of threats and violence. 
‘Then there was the S.L.A.'s fiery shoot-out 
in L. A. 

So I was struggling with my belie 
struggling to find a place to cor 
nd working, struggl 
Worthington wa: 
nything had changed. 
When he had left, his instructions to me 


had been just to continue but not to 
contact the bureau “unless something 
heavy happened." If that happened, I 
was to ask for Frank Doyle, who wa 
Ben's backup. Well, something heavy d 
happen and 1 did make contact with 
Doyle. 

PLAYBOY: What happened? 

MOORE: Lets just say 1 learned that a 
group the FBI had been interested in 
w . Anyway, I 
did contact Doyle—and so the link stayed 
intact. 

PLAYBOY: Didn't the FBI suspect any- 
thing? 

MOORE: Yes, I did finally tell Bert I had 
blown myself to Tom. As was the bureau's 
policy, I was dropped as a source and 


bout to take an acti 


strongly "advised" to get out of the 
movement. 
PLAYBOY: That was still in 19742 


k. 


MOORE: Yes, carly 


September, I u 


When I refused to heed this advice and 
ed to be successful in maintai 
acts and even in making what to 


them. 


were 


nt new contacts on 


"T started actively 
reporting to the FBI again. 
But my heart and mind were 
with the revolutionaries. 
This is the part I do not 
understand about myself.” 


the left, Bert appar 
fully with his sup 
IP: 


tly argued success- 
eformalize 


ever continued with a blown source. 
And when did that reinstate- 
th the FBI take placc? 

MOORE: October 1974. 

PLAYBOY: When and why did you decide 
10 start telling other people, besides Tom, 
something about your FBI activities? 
MOORE In January 1975, I told Charles 
Garry, the lawyer handling the San 
Quentin Six trial, about my FBI asso 
tion up to July of ‘74. He convinced me 
my activities had been more harmful than 
I realized and that I owed it to the 
people I had reported on to let them 
know what I had done, especially if I 
n 


were serious about continuing to wo 
the radical left. He was right. It was 
good advice. It eventually led to my 
the assassination attempt and 
¢ here in prison, but it was right. 
I would not change that if I went back 
to change things. lt was the only thing 


I could do if I believed what I said and 
wanted to continue workin, 
PLAYBOY: So you followed Garry's advice? 
MOORE: Yes. I called a leader in cach of 
the three main organizations I had 
worked with in the movement and told 
them, I learned very quickly that 1 had to 
be rigid about the July 1974 thing, 
that I could not say that I had wafllcd 
through that summer and fall if I wanted 
1 in the movement, which I did. 
me acceptance of me be- 
cause I had come to them. Two organi 
zations handled my story at tlie leadership 
level, but the third one spread it every- 
where, and it began to go around the 
movement just like wildfire. And people 
began to come down on me very, very 
heavily. That's when 1 started actively 
reporting to the FBI a he FBI is 
right, you know, about what happens 
when you get mad. But, at the same time, 
my heart and mind were with the revolu- 
tionaries. This is the part I do not under- 
stand about myself. People say, "Why?" 
and I Eu ^E can't a 


at which I 
ized th 
ally doing, I 
Became very e keeping up my 
association with the FBI, because I began 
to sce that was really the only way I could 
serve the left. Now, that was probably 
bastard reasoning, but I was piping in- 
formation about the FBI to people in the 
nt. Telling people who thought 
e clandestine members of organi- 
ons that the about them, 


things like that. s scared, be- 
cause if anybody id too much 
attention to what I said, it would have 


been obvious that some of the stuff I was 
talking about I couldn't possibly have 
known before July 1974, because it 
hadn't happened yet. 
PLAYBOY: But you wer 
mation 
to the FB. 
MOORE: Yes. It was incredible. The faster 
word about me spread through the move- 
ment, the more new people came to me 
me questions—and the more infor- 
ation 1 was able to give about them to 
the FBI. 
PLAYBOY: Didn't that bother you? 
ure it di nd I don't know how 
dled that. Part of it was that I 
thought if they were so goddamned 
i . here 1 was, walking 
ted FBI informant, or, 
as they thought, former FBI informant, 
and if they were so goddamned stupid as 
10 talk to me, they needed to be taught a 
lesson. 
PLAYBOY: Onc might make the same obser- 
vation about the FBI agents. If they 
thought you had converted to the left, 
why did they trust you? 
MOORE: Oh, all right, 1 can give you an 
answer to that. Number one, I had told 
them I had become disillusioned with 


Iso nfor- 
bout people in the movement 


HS IHE 
IMPORT CAR 
OF YEA 


MOTOR TREND MAGAZINE: 

"The winner of the 1976 Motor Trend Import Car 
of the Year Award is the Toyota Celica. Not just a 
Celica, or even the new Liftback,” but the 
complete three-car line.” Here's just part of what 
Motor Trend said about the Celica line. 


Execution: “The Celica has been a sig 
cant force on the U.S. automotive scene 
for several years...so although this award is 
for the 1976 Celica line. it is also recognition 
of the quality of all those that have gone before.” 


Engineering: “With only 56% of the total 
weight on the front wheels. larger wheels, 
steel belted radial lires and firmer 
suspension. handling is excellent with no 
sacrifice in riding comlort." 


Performance: ` good performance 
without sacrificing fuel economy. ~ 
NOTE: 1976 EPA tests with S- speed 
overdrive transmission; 36 mpg on 
thehighway.20city-TheseEPA results 
are estimales.The actual mileage you 
gel will vary, depending upon your 
driving habits and your cars 
condition and equipment 


‘You can see Motor Trend Magazine's Import Car of the Year at any of nearly 
1,000 authorized dealers across the country, And, for a limited time, if this is 


ZA) tne year you purchase a Celica, you'll receivean Import Car of the Year Plaque 


cee with your name. And if this isn't your year for a sporty car, look into. 
the 19 other Toyota models. Each has been given the same attention to detail, 
quality and performance that has helped make the Celica the Import Car of the Year. 


PLAYBOY 


84 


the left. Number two, the stuff I gave the 
FBI was hard information. I never 
fudged with them; what I gave them was 
accurate. I had done something very 
luable for them in the fall of 1974. 
at was one of the few times that I 
didnt have any struggle with my con- 
ience. I will intrigue you a little with 
That was the point at which the 
seed of what finally happened on Sep- 
tember 22, 1975, was planted. That was 
the one time when my political beliefs, 
what I wanted to have happen. coincided 
with something that the bureau and the 
Secret Service wanted. 

PLAYBOY: You fave intrigued us. What 
was it? 

MOOR 


Maybe sometime Til tell you 


about it. Not now. 
PLAYBOY. Why are you telling us these 
other incriminating things now? That, 


in particular, though you claimed to 
have been converted to the left, you had 
continued serving as an FBI informant? 
MOORE: What I'm trying to do now is tell 
the truth. Be honest. The FBI is likely to 
make sure that I'm uncomfortable, but 
so what? At this point, I really don't 


Im in jail. There isn't anything more 
anybody can do to me except kill me. 
You sce, all this period, when I was 


doubling, was a very freaky one in my 
life. Nobody knew E was doubling. There 
were actually not two but three Sally 
Moores operating at that point: one, the 
Sally Moore moving toward armed protest 
and starting to work with people dedi- 
cited to violence, telling no one—not the 
FBL not friends on the left; two, the 
Sally Moore, converted informant, strug- 
gling to find acceptance with ihe theorc- 
ticians and “respectable” Communists; 
nd, ilice, Silly Moore, FBI informant, 
reporting ou who was asking me wi 
about my "past," as well as on the new 


groups and people I ting. 

People on the left said to me, “You've 
get le write your experiences down 
You've got to reduce to writing what 


happened. Write down how 
volved, what you did for the FBI, 
you involved—you've got to reduce it to 
writing.” 
PLAYBOY: W. 
that? 


at did the FBI say about 


MOORE: They first said cnough was 
enough. that I should “st I" all 


further conversation about my past. 
When I refused, saying I couldn't get 
anywhere without some public staremeni 
Iw d to, one, stay with the story 
1 had previously told, revealing no mor 
and, if possible, even less than T had al- 
ready admitted, and, two, be honest about 
their instructions to me, their treatment 
of me. In other words, to avoid telling 
any more than I had to, but what I did 
tell, make it the truth. 

5o 1 tried to reduce my entire FBI e: 
perience to writing, The written state- 
ment was very important to people on 


the left. There was some talk that my 


statement could either be circulated 
among the leadership in various cadre 
groups on the left or be given gene 


circulation, depending on what was in 
it. There were six people who saw the 
first draft. Everyone said, "No. It's too 
dangerous: it’s too hot." L thought they 
were talking in terms of what law enforce- 
ment might do to me, not to people on the 
left. I never used Popeye's name in the 
statement, but he was instantly recogni: 
able. When he was killed, all 1 could 
think about was that I had fingered him. 
When I hung up the ph 
the news, my immediate thought was, 
“Oh, my God, I've killed Popeye.” That 
same weck, I got another call. The voice 
on the other end sai You're next. 
PLAYBOY: Is that when you decided to buy 
a gun? 

MOORE: I bought both of my guns from a 
man named Mark Fernwood. He's one 
of the leaders of the john Birch Society 
in the East Bay Ares. Of course. had he 
been on the left or even a liberal, he 


after hearing 


“When I hung up the phone, 
my immediate thought wa: 
‘Oh, my God, I've killed 
Popeye. I got another 
call. The voice on the other 


s» 


end said, Yowrenext. 


h con- 
ad of out 
there making money. He was dickering at 
one point with the U.S. Attorney to have 
the gun 1 shot at Ford with returned to 
him; he was going to sell it as a col- 
lector’s item. 

PLAYBOY: How did you make connections 
with Fernwood? 

MOORE: Well, I lived in the East Bay for 
a while, in Birch country, and I knew 
a lot of Birch people. J could see there 
were people on the ra 
the same things that the FBI was ar- 
resting people for on the left. The FBI 
was very interested in guns, who had 
them, where they got them, how they 
used them—things like th So every 
now and then. I would talk to them 
about somebody I knew who had guns, 
somebody who was anti-Government, and 
they'd get really interested. “Who was 
it?“ And I'd tell them, “A member of 
the John Birch Society,” and I'd get a 
lecture on the right of citizens to bear 
arms and protect their homes and such. 


lical right doing 


I got angrier and angrier at things like 
that, so I got ready to get a gun. The 
only reason I did was that my life was 
anger. As a matter of fact, I asked 
the FBI for advice on what kind of gun 
10 ger. T asked my contact officers in the 


in 


FBI and I ako began asking other 
people. 

PLAYBOY: Wasn't that indiscreet? 

MOORE: What's the point of geting a 


gun to protect yourself and keeping it 
a secret? I wanted people to know I had 
the goddamn thing. People already real- 
ized | knew how to handle weapons 
‘That was one of my attractions to the leſt. 
PLAYBOY: When did you learn how to 
handle guns? 

MOORE: Id had some weapons training 
when I was younger, mostly rifles and 
shotguns. Target shooting, skeet. I was 
surprised that T retained as much as T 
did. It’s like riding a bicycle, ! gue: 
Once you learn, you never forget. Any- 
way, because 1 could handle weapons, 
the FBI loved me. I was an accountant 
who knew about guns and they thought 
the left wouldn't be able to resist me 
Tt was almost true. Anyway, T was trying 
out what kind of gun to get 
idn't had much experience with 
handguns. The consensus was that it 
should be a revolver. Actually, the .44 
was a little more gun than I wanted, a 
heavier caliber, but I tried it and it 
wasn't that bad. J thought it was going 
to have a lot more kick than it did. 1 
gun. 

ly, I was going to go down to 
the local gun exchange—to a perfectly 
open and legitimate place—and sign my 
name, wait my five nd get my gun. 
All of a sudden, everybody said, “You 
don't want to do that, because they report 
all those to the police." I thought, “Well, 
I've already told the police I'm going to 
get the gun," but I wasn't saying that to 
anybody eise. Everybody seemed to be 
fi was 
thinking of walking into a store and 
legally buying a weapon. I just couldn't 
understand that. Not everyone I know is 
a revolutionary, but all I heard was, 
You know how the police are about 
guns" I said, “No, tell me how the 
police are about guns." But a conservative 
friend of mine said, "What's wrong with 
giving your business to friends" and 
told me he had a friend who sold ^ 
PLAYBOY: "That was Fernwood. Where did 
you meet him? 

MOORE: At his house. You know, just 
going into the house, you would never 
Know that he sold guns. You had to be 
introduced by a Iriend. It was very much 
like it would be on the left—they have 
a clandestine group on the right, too. 
They h secret shooting ran 
secret firing range. One of them even 
told me I should never buy ordinary 


ked out about the fact that I 


ve 


ammunition; I should use dumdums. 
"There's a diagram that you've probably 
seen in the paper of how the dumdum 
gocs in and makes a threeinch hole. 
You talk about bloodthirsty people! No 
one on the left is as bloodthirsty as those 
right-wingers. This is the thing that 
makes me angry. I spent those two years 
since the Hearst kidnaping getting 
angrier and angrier. Part of it wa: 
I was learning on the left; part of it was 
Marxist the 


what 


, which was really turning 


on 
PLAYBOY: Did you practice shooting on 
the Fernwood range? 

MOORE: Well, yes, I did shoot there once, 
but I had shot clsewherc 
PLAYBOY: You say your initial purpose 
in buying guns was to protect yourself. 
At what point did you decide, "Aha, 
now I've gor a gun. I'm going to use it 
on Ford"? 

MOORE: That is the part that I don't think 
I can talk about. I just haven't figured 
out a way to talk about it and protect 
everyone. Im not saying that anyone 
helped me plan it. I'm just saying that 
there are other things—which means 
there are other people, thoi 
terms of a conspiracy. There are arcas 
I'm still not willing to talk about for a 
lot of reasons. 

PLAYBOY: You said that you'd been 
threatened, that you were afraid for your 
life. Did that push you to the point of 
wanting to kill Ford? 

MOORE: I n't pushed. What the death 
threats that had been made against me 
did was give me freedom. In other words, 
I genuinely felt, I still do feel, that I was 
going to be killed. I don't feel it as 
Someone asked me if my 
ord wasn't really suicide. I 


so. 


sh not in 


strongly now. 
attempt on 
said, "Hell, no." I knew it then, but 1 
really know it now, because I had none 
of the depression or anything afterward. 
It was a risk that I was running. But 
the risk wasn't that great, because it was 
a question of how I was going to be 
killed, anyway. Was I ever that much 
in danger? I don't know. 

PLAYBOY: Why couldn't your protest have 
taken some less lethal form? 

MOORE: I tried other things. Before the 
assination attempt, I talked to a New 
York Times reporter and offered to set 
d report 


the FBI up by filing ai 
and getting Worthington to set up a meet, 
which the Times would have photo- 


graphed, showing me signing it. The re 
porter wanted to do the story but was 
afraid of a setup. He was afraid of what 
the FBI would do to him. I was stunned. 
He was afraid that they would question 


him or subpoena him for doing the story, 
to find out what I might have told him. 
I told him the FBI knew what I knew 
and would probably assume I had told 


Is it live, or 
is it Memorex? 


The amplified voice of Ella 
Fitzgerald canshattera 
glass. And anything Elia 
Can do. Memorex cassette 
tape with MRX, Oxide can 
do. 


If you record your own 
music, Memorex can make 
ail the difference inthe 
world. 


MEMOREX recording Tape. 


Is it live, or is it Memorex? 


85 


PLAYBOY 


86 


him everything, but since they weren't 
particularly interested in making it pub- 
lic, they would have nothing to gain by 
subpoenaing him. He was very much 
1 that the FBI would see us together. 
I never felt good about him and so I told 
him I wasn’t interested in doing the story. 
PLAYBOY: Did you try anything else be- 
fore shooting at Ford? 

MOORE I tried to go underground, 
started attempting to contact one of the 
guerrilla groups. I had made the first 
ct with them—and then Popeye 
led. After that, things moved too 
The underground accused me of 
the FBI warned me 
that I was in danger and should contact 
the S. F. P. D. for protection. The FBI 
ako told me not to talk to the police 
about Popcye's death; if they asked, I 
was to use my First and Fifth Amend- 
ment rights and refuse to answer ques- 
tions. That made me more scared. An 
offer of police protection came from the 
S. E. P. D.; I refused almost in a panic, 
telling them that, in effect, they would 
be signing my death warrant. A journ; 
ist who was writing a story about me 
decided it necessary to interview my 
FBI control officer. The FBI did not 
know of the proposed story. so I begged 
the writer not to place me in danger. 
“I don't think you understand the forces 
you're going to set in motion," I said. 
The reply was that I was already in dan- 
Ber, according to reports from movement 
contacts. [The journalist in question con- 
tacted reavnoy and denied the allega- 
tion —Ed.] The interview with the FBI 
took place. They warned the interviewer 
that 1 was probably in real physical dan- 
ger if the story was done. I heard the 
tapes on which they said that—the jour- 
nalist played them for me. 

PLAYBOY: What did the FBI say to you? 
MOORE They descended on me and 
threatened me—told me to get out of 
town, read me the riot act about going 
public. Charles Bates, special agent in 
charge of the ancisco office, told 
me if the FBI did not like aw 
the proposed story, they would 
higher-ups at the publication to edit it 
out, that they had done this before. 
PLAYBOY: And did they make such a 
request? 

MOORE: [ don't know, but I kept looking, 
in vain, for the story. Now, that little 
episode simply sct me up for the next 
chapter. When the FBI, along with 
everyone clse—maybe even at their direc- 
tion through informants in v: up 
groups—told me to get out of towi 
said I had no money. They, the im 
wanted the information I had on the 
underground, so they made a generous 
money offer for it. When I demurred, 
they added the inducement of relocation 
for my son and me—even new identities, 
if I insisted. 1 was tempted, mighty 


fast. 
fingering Popeye: 


tempted. I was scared, and I also wanted 
an escape from the course I had em- 
barked on. 

But I found I had finally reached a 
point at which I couldn't trade someone 
else's freedom for my own. And so finally 
the fence walking ended—and the course 
ahead was set. The many other things I'd. 
considered as actions I might take against 
the FBI and the Governme were dis- 
carded as not really forwarding the 
cause of revolution. I felt that assassinat- 
ing Ford would. I never doubted that I 
would succeed if I got a clear shot at him; 
I'm a good shot. 

How the plan went wrong from the 
beginning was really like a two-reel com- 
edy. I wanted to get away and go under- 
ound; I started telling people I was 
tired, that I needed to get away for a 
while. 1 made arrangements for friends 
to take my son, but those went awry. 
I planned to sublet my flat, but that fell 
through. 

PLAYBOY: Why didn’t you just leave the 
flat? 
MOORE: It had everything I owned in it, 


“Squeaky Fromme did her 
thing. If it hadn’t been for 
that, Ford would probably 
have crossed the street to 
shake hands and I would 
have hada better chance." 


some things that were precious to m 
paintings, furniture, all the adult equiv- 
alents of a child's Teddy bear. Besides, 
I had an unexpected house guest during 
the week that 1 intended to destroy 
papers, including that list that says I 
planned to a inate the President. And 
good old Squeaky Fromme did her thing, 
If it hadn't been for that incident, Ford 
would probably have crossed the street 
to shake hands and I would have had a 
better chance. 

PLAYBOY: Why hasn't your version of 
events been more widely publicized? 
MOORE: I pct so goddamned mad. I made 
statements and nobody printed them. Are 
the members of the press forgetting that 
many of them have in the past told me 
I was sensible, reliable, accurate, honest 
and reasonable—even likable? Or, to 
badly paraphrase Shakespeare, is it that 
the mistakes and frailties of men live on 
in the press, while the good is often in- 
terred beyond recall? There are two or 
three things I feel I ought to say to 
people, particularly about the callous, 


deliberate, manipulative techniques of 
the FBI, whose agents are not 
always believed, imparti 
but instruments of po 
using people as expendable tools for the 
repression and harassment of honest dis 
senters. J wrote a poem about the FBI. 
I'd like to read it io you: 


action— 


Said the FBI, “You are a mother, 
help us. 

If they truly love the people, how 
can they 

deliberately cause such anguish?” 


Said the FBI, "You are a patriot, 


help us. 

If they truly love the people, how 
can they 

deliberately cause such chaos that 
lears 


at ihe very fiber of our community?” 


Said the FBI, “You are moral and 
Christian, help us. 

If they truly love the people, how 
can they 

kill and steal and bomb?” 


So J went out among the people as 
your agent. 

To look for the kidnapers, 

to lalk to the killers, 

10 know the thief, 

to find the bombers. 


And 1 heard from the kidnapers, 
who even in 

their running had a 
concern and love 

for their brother, not knowing he 
was being 

a Judas to protect his own child. 


message of 


And then they died in flames—your 
flames. 

You are parents and yet you killed 
and overkilled. 

Where was your concern for the 
anguished mother 

or innocent kidnap victim? 


are the killers: 
hope, killers 

of freedom, killers 

You—smug, 


protective and self-righteous. 


You killers of 


of children. 


Yes, I learned to know those you 
call thieves, 

who take back for the people that 
which was 

torn from them, first with whips, 
then with oppression, 

in the name of “progress through 
profits.” 

And finally I found the bombers and 
embraced them 

as comrades, and now with flames 
we speak our 

Tove and our hate. 


The spirit of Marlboro 
in a low tar cigarette. 


Marlboro 


LIGHTS 


LOWERED TAR E NICOTINE 


Lighter in taste. Lower in tar. 
And still offers up the same quality 
that has made Marlboro famous. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
L E = 13 mg. ter, 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FIC Report Nov:75 


ILLUSTRATION BY WAYNE MCLOUGHLIN, 


fiction 


JBXAOHNJIRVING 


in which our heroine finds 
a way to have 
an—almost—immaculate conception 


GARP'S MOTHER, Jenny Fields, was arrested 
in Boston in 1942 for wounding a man 
in a movie theater. This was shorty 
after the Japanese had bombed Pearl 
Harbor and people were being tolerant 
of soldiers, because suddenly everyone 
was a soldier, but Jenny Fields was 


quite firm in her intolerance of the be- 
havior of men in general and of soldiers 
in particular. In the movie theater, she 
had to move three times, but each time 
the soldier moved closer to her, until 
she was sitting against the musty wall, 
her view of the newsreel almost blocked 


JENNY/ANDIDHEJIBA 


by some silly colonnade, and she resolved program at the head of her class and she her breasts were too large; she thought 

she would not get up and move again. enjoyed being a nurse. She was an the ostentation of her bust made her look 

The soldier moved once more and sat athleticlooking young woman who al “cheap and easy.” 

beside her. ways had high color in her cheeks; she She was nothing of the kind. In fact, 
Jenny was 22. She had dropped out of had dark. glossy hair and what her she had dropped out of college when 

college almost as soon as she'd begun, mother called a mannish way of walking she suspected that the chief purpose of 

but she had finished her nursing school Che swung her arms), In Jenny's opinion, her parents sending her to Wellesley had 


TURRET,/GUNNER 


PLAYBOY 


90 


been to have her dated by and eventual- 
ly mated to some well-bred man; the rec- 
ommendation of Wellesley had come 
from her older brothers, law school men 
in Boston at the time, who had assured 
her parents that Wellesley women were 
not thought of loosely and were consid- 
iage potential. 
ed major had been English 
literature, but when it seemed to her that 
her classmates were chiefly concerned 
with acquiring the sophistication and the 
poise to deal with men, she had no trou- 
ble leaving literature for nursing. She 
saw nursing as something that could be 
put into immediate practice, and its 
study had no ulterior motive that Jenny 
could sec. She liked the simple, no- 
nonsense uniform; the blouse of the dress 
made less of her breasts; the shoes were 
comfortable, suited to her fast pace of 
walking. When she w: the night desl 
read. She did not miss the 
men, who were sulky and 
ppointed if you wouldn't compromise 
yourself and superior and aloof if you 
would. At the hospital, she saw morc sol- 
di than college men, 
nker and less pretentious 
if you compromised 
yourself a lite, they seemed at least 
grateful to sce you Then, sudden- 
y. even the soldiers were full of the self- 


I 
importance of college boys—and Jenny 


Fields stopped 
with men. 


ig anything to do 


The Fields family fortune was in 
shoes, though Mis. Fields, a former Bos- 
ton Bass, had brought some money of her 
own to the marriage. The Fields fan 
had managed well enough with footwear 
to have removed themselves from the 
shoe factories years ago. They now lived 
in a large shingled house on the New 
Hampshire shore (Dog's Head Harbor). 

There was a Fields line of nursing 
shoes, and Mr. Fields gave his daughter a 
free pair whenever she came home; Jenny. 
must have had a dozen pairs. Mrs. Fields, 
who insisted on equating her daughter's 
leaving Wellesley with a sordid future, 
ilso gave Jenny a present every time she 
came home. Mrs. Fields gave her daughter 
or so she said and so 
Jenny assumed; she never opened the 
ges. Her mother would say, “Dear, 
do you still have that hot-water boule I 
gave you?” 

Aud Jenny would think a minute, be- 
licving she had probably left it on the 
train or thrown it away, and she'd say, 
1 may have lost it, Mother, but I'm sure 
1 don't need another one. 

And Mrs, Fields, bringing the package 
out from apparent hiding, would press it 
to her, still concealed in the drugstore 
paper; she would say, “Please, Jennifer, 
be more careful. And use it, please! 

As a nurse, Jenny saw little use for the 
hot-water botile she assumed it to be a 


touching, odd device of old-fashioned 
and largely psychological comlort. But 
some of the packages made it back to her 
small room near the Boston G 
Hospital. She kept them in a closet that 
was nearly full of boxes of nursing shoes— 
also unopened. 

When Jenny had left Wellesley for 
something as common as nursing, she 
ed that, unintentionally, she had 
dropped her family—and they, as if they 
couldn't help themselves, were dropping 
her. That must be how families are, 
thought Jenny Fields. She felt if she ever 
had children, she would love them no less 
when they were 20 than when they were 
two; they might need you more at 20, 
she thought. What do you really need 
when you're two? In the hospital, the 
babies were the easiest patients. The 
older they got, the more they needed; 
and the less one wanted or loved 
them. 


When the soldier in the movie theater 
first started changing seats—when he 
made his first move for her—Jenny wished 
she had her brothers with her. What she 
did have with her wasa scalpel; she carried 
it with her all the time. She had not 
stolen it from surgery, either; i 


castaway scalpel with a deep nick in the 
point ably been dropped 
on the floor a sink), it was no 


sood for fine work—but it was not for 
fine work that Jenny wanted it. 
At first it had slashed up the little silk 


pockets of her purse. Then she found 


part of an old thermometer container 
that slipped over the head of the scalpel, 
capping it like a fountain pen. It was 
this cap she removed when the soldicr 
moved into the seat beside her and 
stretched his arm along the armrest they 
were (absurdly) meant to share. His long 
hand dangled from the end of the armrest, 
the flank of a horse 
shuddering the flies away. Jenny kept her 
hand on the scalpel inside her purse; 
with her other hand, she held the purse 
tight in her white lap. She was imagining 
that her nurse's u e a holy 
shield and for some perverse reason this 
vermin beside her had been attracted by 
the light. ("My mother,” Garp wrote, 


form shone 


“went through her life on the look- 
out for purse snatchers and snatch 
snatchers.") 


In the theater, it was not her purse 
that the soldier wanted; he touched her 
knee. Jenny spoke up fa 
your stinking hand off me," she said. 
Several people turned around. 

“Oh, come on," the soldier moaned, 
and his hand shot quickly under her 
skirt; he found her thighs locked tightly 
together—he found his whole arm, from 
his shoulder to his wrist, suddenly sliced 
open like a soft melon. Jenny had cut 
cleanly through his insignia and hi 


shirt, cleanly through his skin and mus- 
cles, baring his bones at the joint of his 
elbow. (“If Lid wanted to kill him," she 
told the police, later, "I'd have slit his 
wrist." 

The soldier, on his fect and 
back, swiped at Jenny’s head with his un- 
cut arm, boxing her ear so sharply that 
head sang. She pawed at him with 
the scalpel, removing a piece of his upper 
lip the 
of a th as nol trying to 
slash his throat,” she told the police. "I 
was trying to cut his nose off, but I 
missed.") Crying, on all fours, the soldier 
groped his way to the theater aisle and 
headed toward the safety of the light in 
the lobby. Other women in the theater 
were screaming. 

Jenny wiped her scalpel on the movie 
seat, returned it to her purse and cov- 
ered the blade with the thermometer 
hen she went to the lobby, where 
lings could be heard and the 
ling through the lobby 
doors over the dark audience: “Is there 
a doctor here, please? Is someone a 
doctor? 

Someone was a nurse, and she went 
to Jend what assistance she could. When 
the soldier saw h. it was 
not really from loss of blood, Jenny knew 
how facial wounds bled; they were de- 
ceptive. The deeper gash on his arm was, 
of course, in need of attention ("A hun 
dred and forty-six stitches!" Garp would 
ay proudly, whenever he told his 
mother’s story), but the soldier was in 
no immediate danger of bleeding to 
death. No one but Jenny seemed to 
know that, there was so much blood— 
and so much of it was on her white nurs- 
form. They quickly realized she 
done it, and the theater lackeys 
would not let her touch the fainted 
soldier; someone took her purse from 
her. The mad nurse! The crazed slasher! 
Jenny Fields was calm. She thought it was 
only a matter of waiting for the true au- 
thorities to comprehend the situation. 
But the police were not very nice to 
her, either. 

"You been dating this guy long?" the 
first one asked her, en route to the pr 
cinct station. 

And another one asked her, later: 
"But how did you know he was going to 
attack you? He says he was just trying 
to introduce himself.“ 

"Thats a real mean little weapon, 
honey,” a third told her, “You shouldn't 
carry something like that around with 
you. That's asking for trouble. 

So Jenny waited for her brothers to 
clear things up. The law school men 
from Cambridge, across the river. One 
was a law student, the other one taught 
in the law school. “Both,” Garp wrote, 
“were of the opinion that the Practice 

(continued on page H6) 


alling 


"Careful, young lady—if it's aspotted one, 
you'll get indigestion!” 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


CAUTION: 
WOMEN 
AT WORK! 


Job opportunities being what they are these days, if you 
find a woman in the kitchen, she’s probably a plunber 


verybody knows 
window cleaners are 
actually frustrated 


voyeurs braving dangerous 
heights just to get a furtive 
peek at some junior exec 
seducing his well-endowed 
new secretary, inside the 
office. With the advent of the 
lady window wiper, however, 
all the spectators will be 

on the inside looking out. 


his conscientious 
metalworker doesn't 
really need an acety- 


lene torch to make temper- 
atures rise and sparks fly, but 
then, you can't melt hard 
metal with charm alone. By 
this time, that hunk of 
steel girder must be getting 
pretty hot, just like the 
foreman and the crew and 
whoever else is watching. 
93 


catcalled. What's the world coming to? Unfortunately, the jackhammer 
seems to be more in control of the sitvotion than its operator; but it's not hard 
to see how a person could get carried awoy, whot with the vibrations and all. 


Ne we fellows can’t even walk by a construction site without getting 


ou 
heard 
of oil 


barons, right? 
Well, this being 
the age of the 
liberated fe- 
male, the next 
logical step is 
obviously the oil 
baroness. Seems 
like a good idea. 
If this pretty, 


young wildcatter 
can't bring in a 
gusher, nobody 
can. By the looks 
of her, she's 
already brought 
in a few. 


, 


what happened 

when a slightly 

freaky group of ecologists 
confronted a russian 
whaler on the high seas 


article By JACK RICHARDSON 


ON A SUNDAY in late April 1975, 
over 20,000 people gather at 
Jericho Beach in the port of 
Vancouver in British Colum- 
bia to celebrate the departure of 
an 87-foot halibut boat called 
the Phyllis Cormack. 

The reason for so much atten- 
tion is that she is embarking 
upon the fifth official voyage of the 
Greenpeace Foundation, an 


EAT Wi 


organization that, since 1971, has 
been sending expeditions into 
Pacific waters on missions of 
peace and ecology. ‘The pur- 
pose of the present voyage had 
been stated on thousands of 
posters the foundation had dis- 
tributed throughout Canada 
and the United States. These ad- 
vertisements depicted a diving 
sperm whale and, in a black 
bandit's mask, a seaman standing 


U 


BATTUE 


behind a loaded harpoon gun. 
Beneath the two combatants 
was the announcement that 
Greenpeace V intended to 

put itself between the whales 
and the hunters’ harpoons, 
thereby both impeding and pro- 
testing the killing of the earth's 
largest creatures. As the speakers 
this Sunday at Jericho admit, 
that is a drastic and somewhat 
melodramatic gesture, but it 


seems the only method left that 
might bring about the broad 
public support necessary to force 
the International Whaling 
Commission to declare a ten- 
year moratorium on the 
hunting of whales. If a confron- 
tation can be recorded on film 
and the brutal methods of 
modern whalers shown to enough. 
people, then perhaps the whal- 
ing industry will be forced to 


99 


PLAYBOY 


defend itself against moral as well as 
commercial arguments. 

"Either way, the whaling industry will 
be embarrassed if they meet us," explains 
Bob Hunter, one of the founders and 
president of the Greenpeace Foundation 
and chief strategist for the present enter. 
prise. “They're going to have to show 
what hunting whales is like today or run 
away whenever they see us. Retreat, how- 
ever, is unlikely before a strictly spiritual 
presence. 

Hunter was a member of the first 
Greenpeace voyage, an attempt to sail 
into the waters around the Aleutian is- 
land Amchitka in order to stop under- 
ground atomic tests by the U. S. in that 
region. It was an illstarred venture from 
the first, with squabbling and rough seas. 
It ended when, thinking they had ob- 
tained permission from U.S. Immigra- 
tion officials to go ashore while in a 
small Alaskan port, they found they had 
been misled. Subsequently, members of 
the U. S. Coast Guard boarded the Cor- 
mack and announced that should the 
expedition continue toward the testing 
site, the boat would be impounded and 
the captain heavily fined. 

The Cormack was replaced by Green- 
peace Too (sic), the Edgewater Fortune, 
a converted mine sweeper dispatched by 
the foundation from Vancouver when it. 
heard that the first boat might be im- 
pounded. But the Edgewater Fortune ar- 
rived too late to enter the testing area. 

The third and fourth Greenpeace ex- 
peditions were more successful. In 1972, 
the Vega, a sailing vessel, was dispatched 
to prevent, again through a passive pres- 
ence, the French from conducting atmos- 
pheric tests near the Mururoa Atoll in the 
South Pacific. This time, having com- 
mitted no breach of international law, the 
Greenpeace boat's captain, David Mc 
Taggart, claimed the right of freedom of 
the seas when he was ordered to remove 
the Vega from the testing area. The 
French, being in no mood to debate in- 
ternational law in the middle of their 
scientific rituals, brought the case to a 
quick dose by having a destroyer ram the 
Vega and tov it from the area. 

The following year, the French and 
the Vega met again in the same waters 
and for the same reason. This time, Mc- 
Taggart came prepared with evasive 
maneuvers should the French again base 
their legal argument on their ramming 
technique. He was not prepared, how- 
ever, for an unabashed pirat 
for the boarding of his ship by French 
commandos and for an indiscriminate at- 
tack on his crew and equipment. While 
defending his vessel, McTaggart received 
a blow that may yet cost him the use of 
his left eye. Due to the ingenuity of 
a female member of the crew, who hid 
in her vagina the film on which this 
moment in French naval history was re- 
corded, French antiwar groups protested 


100 loudly, and in the trials that followed in 


Paris, the courts decided in favor of the 
foundation in the matter of the 1972 col- 
lision, and Greenpeace lawyers are still 
pressing for a court judgment against 
the exuberant French commandos. 

And now, leaning against a bulkhead 
of the Cormack, Hunter explains the 
philosophy of the new expedition: “Be- 
sides the masculine principle of active 
interference, there should be a feminine 
principle also—a passive imprecation." 

The crew questions him respectfully 
for details and he goes on to explain 
that he intends to mount the back of a 
slain whale and sit, crosslegged, in an 
attitude of prayer in order to impress 
upon the whalers that they are blasphem- 
ing life itself by turning its most mag- 
nificent creature into a commercial item. 
The crew smiles and appreciates the 
mage, but a few inquire about practical 
tactics. Hunter's expression loses its vi- 
sionary blankness and takes on a soft 
look of amusement while he ponders the 
question. 

“Ah, it would be nice,” he says final- 
ly, “if I could sit naked on the whale, 
radiant in a rainbow, with dolphins 
sing up from the water singing hosan- 
nas. However, I'll be in a wet suit, with 
two of you guys standing by in a boat 
to pull my ass off in case the sharks or 
the whalers get too excited by my beatif- 
ic presence.’ 

This mixture of the realistic and the 
visionary has, from the start, infused the 
Greenpeace V project. When the cam- 
paign to protect the whale began, sup- 
port expectedly came in from the usual 
professional sources of ecological con- 
cern. However, the farewell gathering in 
Jericho proves that the fate of the whale 
has also become a symbol to the workaday 
Canadian fishing communities. 

As Patrick Moore, a young man with 
a Ph.D. in environmental studies and a 
member of the Greenpeace expedition, 
puts it, the whale has become a "com- 
mon denominator of threatened exist- 
enc, a symbol capable of inspiring a 
disinterested allegiance to all forms of 
life. 

"When we were taking on atomic 
tests,” Moore reflects, "a lot of people 
saw it as something political rather than 
ecological. But the whale seems to get a 
deep-level response, whether I'm talking 
to school kids or Rotarians. It sort of 
frightens everyone that something so 
large, so awesome could be wiped out 
and never be seen again. You don’t even 
have to convince them with balance-of- 
nature arguments. It's enough that some- 
thing beautiful is being turned into 
fertilizer and industrial lubricants.” 

When Moore talks of the Greenpeace 
program, his tone is that of someone 
who has lcarncd that moral difficulties 
abound in even the most obviously right- 
cous enterprises. 

"You know," he says one day, as the 
Cormack moves through fiordlike inlets 


of Vancouver Island, past mountains that 
haye been scarred by lumber and mining 
enterprises, “it hard to understand 
so much hostile input when one was just 
trying to keep beauty like this all to- 
gether. But 1 guess I didn't appreciate 
the problems of lumbermen and mine 
owners. I didn't know how to relate to 
them without sounding morally superior. 
I mean, I used to give speeches and I'd 
try to turn them on with lines like ‘A 
flower is your brother.’ Then one day 
someone threw back at me ‘Does that 
mean a weed's our enemy?’ and I started 
to realize it was time to add a little logic 
to the vision.” 

Now, however, the vision has come 
to seem self-evident to the crew of the 
Cormack as it sails out of the harbor of 
Vancouver and begins its mission to 
track down the hünters of whales. The 
main task, of course, is first to find a 
whaling flcet, not an easy assignment, 
since the Cormack is not equipped with 
sophisticated tracking devices and the 
area to be covered is some 3000 square 
miles of ocean. Besides making radio 
contact and establishing from the fre- 
quency a rough estimate of the loca- 
tion of the whaling ships, there is little 
Greenpeace V can expect from its ship's 
technical devices. The radio will give 
them a vague direction, but after that 
it will be left to the chance of a visual 
sighting, which at sea means that the 
Cormack and the whalers will have to 
come within 15 miles of each other on a 
dear day and in waters calm enough to 
keep a long, unbroken horiz 

At the early strategy meetings, various 
proposals were made as to how the prob- 
ability of an encounter might be in- 
creased. John Cormack, the 63-year-old 
captain of the boat that bears his wife's 
name, listens with the bemused wonder 
of a practical sailor as Hunter leads the 
discussion of plans and strategies that 
include everything from demanding 1 
the Canadian government. supply reco 
naissance planes to consultation of the 
1 Ching. In his years of association with 
the Greenpeace movement, Cormack had 
learned how to suffer such suggestions 
with patience and good humor, waiting 
until the proper moment to temper their 
stratagems with crude nautical facts. He 
finally summons them abruptly out of the 
realm of mystical portents with a thump 
on the galley table and a gruff reminder 
that a course must be set in the prosaic 
terms of latitude and longitude before 
he will commit himself and his boat to 
following it. 

“You don't trust the I Ching?” Hunter 
asks, aghast, and he and other members 
of the crew chide Captain John about 
his old-fashioned navigational methods. 

“I don't care buggerall about what 
that book says or wl some guru in 
Vancouver told you," Cormack grumps. 
Then he laughs with the rest of them. 
However, along with the laughter there 


Ommmmmmmmmm, Ommmmmmmmmm, Ommmmmmmmmm, 
Ommmmmmmmm, Ommmmmmmmm, Ommmmmmmmm. 


10¹ 


PLAYBOY 


is a wary expression on his face, a look 
of uncertainty as to how serious 
crew is about these peculiar beliefs and 
rituals. After some more good-natured 
banter, he gives in to their demand that 
he toss the J Ching disks to see if the 
voyages lifeforce direction coincides 
with the course he recommends. Hunter 
fiercely studies the coins, and then begins 
reading the judgment: " "Thunder stirs 
the water of the lake, which follows in 
shimmering waves. This symbolizes the 
girl who follows the man of her choice 

"I wanted to know where to find 
whales and whalers,” Cormack moans, 
shaking his head sadly, “and you come 
up with a lovesick girl.” 

“It’s a parable, John,” Hunter says, 
But every re- 
between individuals bears 
within it the danger that wrong turns 
may be taken. 

“Well, we're going to sure take a 
queer turn if we follow this advice,’ 
Cormack interrupts. 

“The I Ching is a map for the spirit,” 
Hunter answers gravely, but his face adds 
a qualifying smile to this heavy defini- 
tion. When he finishes reading, he listens 
to the members of the crew interpret the 
passage. Most are flattering and optimis- 
tic, but Walrus Oakenbough, who serves 
as the cook on the voyage, takes the view 
that the 7 Ching has ferreted out a lack of 
unity and resolve in their venture and is 
warning them not to think that they can 
drift on good intention to success. 


lationship 


Only two countries, Russia and Ja 
are at present seriously involved in com- 
mercial whaling. However, their influ- 
ence is such that they have managed to 
keep the International Whaling Commis- 
sion from putting any meaningful re- 
strictions on the number of whales that 
can be killed annually. Certain species, 
such as the giant blue whale, have been 
so depleted that they are termed commer- 
dally extinct and are no longer hunted, 
simply because it would be unprofita- 
ble to do so. Such species enjoy inter- 
national protection. However, the sci, fin, 
minke and sperm are still being regularly 
turned. into pet food, oil, bone and fer- 
tilizer at the rate of at least 35,000 a 
year, which is the quota established by 
the I. W. C. Moreover, since the enforce- 
ment of this limit is left to the countries 
that do the whaling—there is a Japanese 
observer on à Russian boat, a Russian 
on a Japanese—one can imagine that a 
certain laxity exists in the count and 
measurement of kills. 

“A moratorium is the only way 
Moore says. “Otherwise, they'll just pl: 
a game with statistics until another and 
then another species dies off. And the 
moratorium have to include every- 


102 one. Some of us thought the Eskimos 


should be exempt, since they kill only a 
few whales and the uses they put them to 
are heavy into their cultural tradition. 
But the Japanese can say the same thing 
and can argue that their culture has 
more people in it and therefore needs a 
greater number of whales. No, the ban 
has to be total, but it's not easy to take 
anything away from the Eskimos.” 

The Eskimos have not yet responded 
to the Greenpeace interdiction. How- 
ever, Japanese and Russian spokesmen 
for the whaling industries, on hearing 
about the purpose and philosophy of 
Greenpeace V, have dismissed the under- 
ng as the act of a group of fanatics, 
Nevertheless, the issue is sensitive enough 
for the Japanese government to have 
ordered its whaling fleets to avoid any 
incident should they encounter the Phyl- 
lis Cormack, even if such avoidance 
should mean abandoning the pursuit of 


a vulnerable herd or the harvesting of 
earlier kills. 

“Which leaves the Russ and 
they're mean sons of bitches. They see 


Hunter praying naked on one of their 
goddamn whales and they're liable to 
think he fits right into their quota, too.” 

This blunt estimation of the Russian 
character is spoken by George Korotva 
as he lies stretched out, sunning himself 
in one of the rubber Zodiac boats lashed 
to the rear deck of the Cormack. These 
boats, shaped like a horseshoe and pow- 
ered by outboard motors, are capable of 
speeds that can pass a moving whale pod 
iterally run circles around a catcher 
boat traveling at full steam. Korotva, 
a professional fisherman, is an expert at 
handling these craft. Because of their 
lightness, the boats zip and bound across 
the water € a stone scaled across a 
pond, and in choppy seas it is a major 
feat just to keep from being abruptly 
ejected between waves. 

Besides instructing other members of 
the crew in the use of the Zodiac, Korot- 
va has another important function 
aboard the Cormack: Since he speaks 
Russian, he spends hours each day listen- 
ing to the ship's radio, translating any 
communications that are picked up be- 
tween Soviet ships and deciding whether 
they come from inshore trawlers or whal- 
ing boats. If they come from the latter, 
he and Captain Jack then determine 
from the strength and frequency of the 
transmission the approximate position 
of the signaling ship. And, of course, i 
a confrontation occurs, it will be up to 
Korotva to deliver the Greenpeace mes- 
sage on the brotherhood of life to the 
Russian whalers in a way that won't al- 
front their proletarian principles. 

“That is going to be some crazy mo- 
ment," he says, chuckling and slapping 
the sides of his Zodiac. “They won't 
know what the hell to do when I tell 
them that the whales are their brothers. 


and 


No Russian is going to be overjoyed 
about being called the cousin of a hump- 
back or a sperm 

Korotva, in his early 30s. is large, 
heavyshouldered and looks sounds 
like the strong, easygoing, simple Swede 
who is always among the stock characters 
of shipboard dramas. But Korotva is 
er simple nor Swedish. He is Czecho 
slovakian, a former student of psychology 
at the University of Prague and an 
escapee from a labor camp in Siberia to 
which he'd been shipped for his involve- 
ment in some student protests in the 
early Sixties. He therefore understand- 
ably feels little affection for Russians. 

“These are wonderful bunch of 
people," he says, looking at the crew 
scattered about the boat, some singing 
folk songs, others scanning the horizon 
for whales and their pursuers. "But 
they're crazy sons of bitches. They don't 
know how mean Russians can be when 
they think they are being made fools of. 
1 wouldn't be surprised if they just go 
ahead and blow up this damn fishing 
boat.” 

Besides the confrontations with whal- 
ing flotillas, Greenpeace V intends to 
carry out various experiments involving 
musical communications with whales, for 
the purpose of which the Cormack has 
on board hydrophones, amplifiers, a syn- 
thesizer and a 6000-watt generator to 
keep all this electronic gadgetry operat- 
ing. Two musici Will Jackson 
Mel Gregory, are in charge of finding 
the tones, melodies and harmonies that 
will cause appreciative responses from 
the whales. Thus, during the weeks that 
the Cormack searches the waters of the 
North Pacific, the tedium of shipboard 
life is relieved by tonal tests that include 
everything from the most sophisticated 
electronic beeps and gurgles of the syn- 
thesizer to the simple sounds of a one- 
octave flute. ory, a short, bearded, 
pixyish guitarist and composer, is certain 
that some sort of intelligible counterpoint 
can be established between whale and 
man and has spent hundreds of hours 
listening to recordings of the humpback 
whales long, dolorous songs that seem 
to echo and reverberate in distinguish- 
able patterns. 

‘The intelligence, musical and other- 
wise, of the order Cetacea, a designation 
that includes all wholly aquatic mam- 
mals, has long becn the subject of various 
scientific studies. Most of these attempts 
to gauge the order's cognitive abilities 
have taken place in conditions of cap- 
tivity and have proved only that certain 
species are docile to the extent that they 
can recognize and imitate a limited num- 
ber of human sounds and remember pat- 
terns of prescribed behavior that allow 
them to be turned into aquatic perform. 
ers. And it has been only the smaller 

(continued on page 192) 


— 


55 BE DAMNED! 


let's face it; there are times when it doesn't make any 
sense to stick to that stupid-ass speed limit. this is for those times 


article By BROCK YATES , wsx ot cor rupting American youth and kicking 


away yet another foundation stone of the Republic, Lam here to confess an act of overt civil dis- 
obedience: Lam a speeder. On the open highways of America, I haul ass. I pay about as much at- 
tention to the Government's cockamamie 55-mph speed limit as I do to the Treaty of Versailles, 
and, what's more, by observing a few rules of my own, I get away with it—most of the time. 

Yeah, yeah, I know—speed kills, right? Safety freaks have been yapping about that for 
years and, wringing their hands with concern, they tell us that lower limits and touglter law 
enforcement will cut the death rate on the highways. A simple solution but patent bullshit. 
"The fact of the matter is that pure speed on clear, uncongested roads has very little to do 
with fatal accidents. It's the other ingredients such as alcohol (50- percent ôf all serious crashes 
involve booze), drugs, mental disturbances, physical disabilities, suicidal instincts (some experts 


use (illegal in some 
states), $169. 


The Racemork Bucket 
Driving Seat, with a 
corduroy-covered 
center section, is designed 
to fit the human form. 

Is oll yours for 

$212 (notincluding 
installation kit), plus 
$21.50 for headrest, 
both by Scheel for 

B & B Auto-Sport Ltd. 


The Super Snooper long- 
Ronge Redar Detector in optimum 
conditions operates ot distances 


up to two ond a half miles, by 
Autotronics, $149.95. Racemork's 
wooden steering wheel wos mode 
to the late Mark Donohue’s 
specifications, from MG Mitten, 
$55 (not including hub kit). 


The Regency ACT-RIO 
scanner lets yau listen in 


or low police bonds, 
features push-button 
channel control, oper- 
otes on 110-volt A.C. or 
12-volt D.C. for mobile 


Ect your heart out, 
Smokeys! The Regency. 

CR-123 SSB/AM radio | 
offers 46-channel 

ccpobility and includes A 
such refinements as a r 
noise blanker ond RF 
gain control, $359. 


gripping the wheel 

in a pair of his 
knit-backed pigskin 
driving glaves with 
elosticized wrists, from 
Wilco Sales, $17.95. 


Even Fangia will look 
twice when you wheel 

by sporting a pair 

of Givenchy sunglasses 

featuring wide-body 

plastic frames that 

are adaptable ta pre- 

? scriptian lenses. They're. — 
priced at $35 to $40. 


Pearce-Simpsan's 
Cheetah SSB 
transceiver includes 
23 AM and 

46 side-band 
channels, ond 

alsa meters its own 
standing wave 
ratio (SWR) for 
Maximum operating 
efficiency, $419.95. 


sports 

By DAN GERBER. 

IN THE EARLY FIFTIES it was 

a movie titled To Please a Lady, 
starring Clark Gable, with 

actual race footage and the faces 
of real drivers like Mauri 

Rose and Wilbur Shaw and huge 
ferocious cars resembling 

U-boats on wheels. The tires 

were absurdly narrow and 
grooved with tread on only the 
right half of the run 
surface. The movie was my first 
glimpse of a world that had 
previously enthralled me purely. 
with sound. I was ten years 

old and to drive at Indianapolis 
was the only thing worth 

growing up for. Each Memorial 
Day was spent with engine 

sounds and the voice of Sid 
Collins. It didn't matter 

much what he said, it was just the 
sound of his voice switching 

to his reporters around the track, 
the roar of the cars in the 


a former race driver goes 

to the brickyard as a 
spectator and finds it a 
combination of freak show, 
hand-to-hand combat and 
something perversely beautiful 


INDY- 
THE D 
WORLD'S 
FASTEST 
CARNIVAL 

RIDE 


PLAYHBOY 


background and the litany of what were, 
for me, almost holy names: Troy Rutt- 
man, Tony Bettenhausen. Jimmy Bryan, 
n Hanks, Johnny Parsons, Pat O'Con- 
nor and. most holy of all, Billy Vukovich. 
It meant school was getting out and I 
could get sunburned and go fishing and 
spend three months on Lake Michigan 
trying to let the magic names fade into 
some kind of perspective. Whenever I 
wasn't in a bathing suit, I wore slightly 
grimy white-duck trousers and a grease- 
smudged white T-shirt, because that's 
what Vuky had been wearing in the one 
photo I'd seen of him, sitting on a work- 
bench, barefooted, his knees pulled up to 
his chest, exhausted and dejected after 
leading the 1952 Indy for 191 laps until a 
50-cent steering part Jet go and put him 
0 the northeast wall. "The tough little 
driver from Fresno,” the papers called 
him. using his standard quote, "Just 
don't get in my way." 

"Then Vuky won in 1953 and again in 
1954. It was the way it had to be. Speeds 
had climbed past the 140-mile-per-hour 
barrier and everybody wondered if they 
hadn't reached. the limit. "We're going 
too fast out there," Vuky said. 

"Well, Vuky," the interviewer reflected, 
"yow'rethe onlyone who can slow it dow: 

But he didn't slow it down. He qual 
fied for the 1955 race at 141.071 miles 
per hour, was leading the race at the end 
of 56 laps when he crashed and was killed 
auempting to avoid a pile-up on the back 
straight. I saw the newsreel and the 
photograph of the now-primitive looking 
Hopkins Special lying upside down, the 
hand of my boyhood hero protruding 
from the cockpit as if waving goodbye. I 
remember feeling somehow responsible 
for Vuky's death. It was the first time I 
hadn't listened to the race. My father had 
taken me fishing in Ontario, and on Me- 
morial Day we were flying down from 
Saddle Lake in a pontoon plane when the 
bush pilot tuned in the race on his radio 
and told us that Vukovich had been killed. 
1 asked him to tum it off. I didn't want 
to hear the cars or Sid Collins and the 
magic names if Vuky wasn't among them 
anymore. 

Another year went by and my aversion 
to racing cooled. But it would never be 
quite the same without Vuky. My inter- 
est turned to road racing and more ex- 
otic, if somehow less personally awesome 
names like Juan Fangio, Stirling Moss, 
Phil Hill and the Marquis de Portago. 
It was more intricate and interesting rac- 
ing, and I learned to pronounce Le 
Mans like the French and Sebring and 
the Mille Miglia and Nürburgring. But 
as much as 1 pontificated that it was 
dumb to turn left all the time, Indy, with 
Collins and Tony Hulman orating “Gen- 
tlemen, start your engines,” was still 
where the magic was. 

I never drove at Indianapolis. I never 
even came dose. I raced sports cars for 


108 five years, with moderate success, then 


stuffed one into the end of the pit wall 
at Riverside, broke every bone in my 
body and quit. For seven years, I stayed 
vay from racing, not wishing 10 taunt 
myself with failed aspirations. "Then, 
three years ago, at the invitation of Bob. 
Jones, a friend who covers racing for 
Sports Illustrated, I went to Indianapol 
or the first time, as a spectator. 

It wasn't quite the way it had been 
in To Please a Lady. The bricks had 
been covered with asphalt, the great 
wooden pagoda replaced by a glass-and- 
steel tower, and most of the names had 
changed, There was a Bettenhausen, a 
Parsons and a Vukovich, and, though 
they were a new generation of drivers, 
the sons of the men I had idolized, the 
names retained their fascination. There 
were newer names that had acquired 
their own aura—Foyt, Ruby, Unser and 
Andretti—and several, like Donohue 
and Revson, I'd competed with on road 
courses ten years earlier. I remember 
being a little awed by the realization that 
those men I'd learned to race with, and 
sometimes beaten, were driving and even 
winning at Indianapolis. Of course, they 
weren't the same men, and neither was I. 
But Indianapolis was the same track (at 
least it was in the same place) and finally 
going to it was like visiting a historic 
battleground, with one important excep- 
tion: Another battle would soon be 
fought there and another and another. 
New monuments would be built over the 
old. Racing drivers must perforce live to- 
tally in the present and pay no more 
than a token deference to last year's win- 
ner or last year's dead. 

That was in 1973, and it proved a bad 
year to reacquaint myself with racing. 
During the final practice session before 
qualifying began, I had just come 
through the 16th Street tunnel on my 
way to the pits when I heard a loud 
whuump and turned to see Art Pollard's 
both right wheels broken off on im 
pact with the wall, sliding sideways 
through the short chute. About 100 feet 
front of me, the axle stubs dug into 
the infield grass and the car began flip- 
ping. Upside down, it skidded back onto 
the track, flipped right side up and came 
to rest in the middle of turn two. Pollard 
sat motionless amid the alcohol flames, 
visible only as heat vapors rising from 
the car, and at that moment, a st 
thing happened: Looking back on 
seems improbable, but I could have 
sworn I heard the crowd in the bleachers 
on the far side of the track, in unison, 
scream, “Save him!” 

It was a full 30 seconds before the 
crash truck arrived, put out the flames 
and extracted Pollard from the car. The 
two disembodied wheels rolled together 
in formation and came to rest in the in- 
field as neatly as if they'd been stacked 
there for future use. Several hours later, 
in an interval between qualification at- 
tempts, they announced that Pollard was 


dead. A woman in the bleachers be- 
hind the pits broke into tears. There was 
an official minute of silence, then qualify- 
resumed, The announcer announced 
a new onelap record. The fat lady was 
cheering. 

‘Two weeks later, I went back, waited 
through the tension of two days of race- 
delaying rain and two aborted starts, one 
of them catastrophic, and went home. I 
watched the carnage on television, Salt 
Walther’s legs protruding from the 
wreckage of his burning. spinning car, 
Swede Savage's fatal crash in turn four 
and the STP crewman hit killed by 
an emergency truck speeding to the res- 
cue. It seemed a more macabre spectacle 
couldn't have been planned. Indy had 
ived up to its reputation and anyone 
who'd paid his five dollars hoping he 
might sce blood got his money's worth. 

‘The rules were changed the inter- 
ests of safety. The fuel capacity of the 
cars was halved to diminish fire hazard. 
The size of the airfoils was cut and pop- 
off valves installed on the turbochargers 
to limit boost, all in hopes of slowing the 
cars down. The track facility was im- 
proved, spectator barriers strengthened, 
the pit entrance widened and the inside 
wall in turn four, the one that had killed 
age, eliminated. The 1974 race was 
one of the safest im the Speedways 
history, no ies and no serious inju- 
ries. Maybe I would go back to Indi- 
it's the 
cing's 
fascination, the risk without which rac- 

hg would be sterile and pointless, but 
it's the almost historical certainty that 
sometime during the month of May, 
someone will be killed there that has 
tended to make Indy seem more like a 
Roman circus than a 20th Century sport- 
ing event. 


J remember that I was fishing in Key 
West with Bob Jones when we heard 
the news that Peter Revson had been 
killed practicing for the South African 
Grand Prix. I had known Revson and 
raced against him back in the early Six- 
ties. Jones had done a personality piece 
on him for Sports Illustrated and had 
spent many evenings with him in the 
course of five years covering major races 
The news came over the radio and, for 
what seemed like almost an hour, neither 
of us had anything to say. Finally, when 
so much time had elapsed that it seemed 
to come almost out of context, Jones 
said, “You realize that for the next 
months now, nobody will mention his 
name, 

“Yeah,” I reflected, “and when they 
do, il] be as if he had lived twenty 
years ago.” 

It is easy to understand this sense of 
detachment among the drivers. If they 
were to ponder too deeply the dangers 
to themselves or the deaths of their 

(continued on page 176) 


clearly a 


i 


"Im not interested in modeling for recognition— 
just for money. And I’ve never had any desire 
to act. I don't want to be a star. And I 
don't like being the center of attention.” 


w— 
2 


t 


r 
| 


4 


EBBIES 
REAM 


when debra peterson decided 
she wanted to be a playmate 
Seven years ago, she was too 
young. later she was too shy. 
now she’s obviously neither 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY KEN MARCUS 


“My parents didn't like the first two guys I lived 
with, but they like my present boyfriend. As they 
sec it, I do a lot oj crazy things—and they 
think he’sstraight enough to keep me straight.” 


wanted to do since 1 

was about 14 years 
old—and, finally, 1 got 
wp the nerve," says 
Debra Peterson, think. 
ing back to the day when 
she went to a photogra 
pher and confessed her 
secret desire to pose for 

PLAYBoY centerfold. 
Our ingenuous 21-year- 
old Californian—she was 
born in Santa Monica 
and grew up in Rolling 
Hills—had mo experi 
ence before the cameras; 
but, as you can sec, she 
didn't need any. Her 
parents weren't exactly 
enchanted with her 
move—"You know how 
it always is with the baby 
of the family" says 
Debbie, who's the young: 
est of four children—but 
her boyfriend, a technical 

visor to film makers, 
gave her new-found mod 
cling career a quick 
boost by making a con 
nection for her to do 
some TV commercials. It 
promises to be easier 
work than breaking in 
horses, which she used to 
do professionally as a 
groom and exercise girl 
for a thoroughbred train- 
er. She left the job about 
a year ago, alter deciding 
that the money wasn't 
enough to make up for 
the risk of injury. Deb- 
bie's been riding since 
she was six, when her 


I was something I'd 


“I wouldn't say I'm into women's lib. When I eventually 
get married, I'd just as soon stay home and putter 
around the house while my man goes out to work. Of 
course, I don't plan on getting married for a while.” 


parents—like a lot of 
other people in Rolling 
Hills, a well-to-do suburb 
with plenty of trails— 
bought horses for their 
kids. When she was 
about 15, though, her 
parents split up. Debbie 
had to give up her horse. 
She stayed awhile with 
her mother, then with her 
dad, before striking out 
on her own three years 
ago. Now, in a sense. 
Debbie's turning k 
the clock; she's bought 
a thoroughbred of her 
ind she's kee] 
him back in Rolling 
Hills, which is a 45- 
minute drive in her 
VW from the Marina del 
Rey apartment sheshares 
with her boyfriend. In 
addition to riding, Deb- 
bie also goes in for water. 
skiing, snowskiing and 
flying. Obviously, her 
fun time is going to be 
limited as she gets more 
modeling assignments. 
And eventually she hopes 
to go into business: "I'd 
like to be a fashion buyer 
or something like that. 
So Fill most likely be 
going back to school in 
a year or two. Actually, 
I hate school— but every- 
's necessary if 
you want a job that pays 
„ Right—unless you 
have some superb natu- 
ral s and an instinct 
1M for where to take them. 


The vibrations are ob- 
viously all positive. 

as Debbie—who thanks 
rLAxBov for adding a 
positive new element 

to her life—looks over 
the results of a shooting 
with West Coast 
Photography Editor 
Marilyn Grabowski. 


GATEFOLD PHOTOGRAPHY BY POMPEO POSAR 


“Sex is an important part of anyone's life; if 
your sex life isn’t good, you end up bitching at 
everyone. I enjoy sex with no qualifications— 
as long as it's one on one. I don't go for orgies.” 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Could you perhaps describe the expression on 
your husband's face when you're having sexz" 
asked the marriage counsclor. 

"Well, usually it's sort of contorted with ten- 
sion and excitement,” replied the woman, “but 
I remember one time when it was contorted 
with anger.” 

“With anger? When was that?” 

“That was the time he was peering in 
through the bedroom window.” 


Venereal-disease warnings being what they are 
these days, we've heard about a fellow who 
wouldn't let his date go down on him, because 
she had an infectious smile. 


A new stewardess was summoned to the office 
of the head of the airline's training program. 
“I've been told about that episode on your first 
flight,” clucked the woman in charge. “Look, 
Miss Larson, from now on when a male passen- 
ger feels faint, I'll expect you to push his head 
down between his own legs!" 


Maybe you've heard about the marriage of the 
dipsomaniac and the nymphomaniac. lt was 
nip and fuck all the way. 


l regret,” she announced with a smile, 
“That our music must wait for a while. 
1 would love a duet, 
But I can't join you yet, 
Because ragtime was never my style.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines red-light 
district as an erogenous zone. 


The bereaved widow was eulogizing her late 
husband to her next-door neighbor for the 
umpteenth time. "He was so kind, so gentle, 
so considerate,” she sobbed. “He never beat 
me. He neyer even touched a hair—not a hair! 
He was a truly good man.” 

“Yes,” yawned the neighbor, "and what 
marksmanship.” 


Hanging on the reception-room wall at his fa- 
vorite massage parlor, reports a correspondent, 
isa sampler that reads: HUM Is WHERE THE HARD IS. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines vaginal 
lubricant asa slitty slicker. 


An egotistical and demanding job secker had 
exhausted the employment agency interviewer's 
patience. "I simply don't have anything match- 
ing our clients’ needs with your stated require- 
ments available right now, Mr. Clegg,” he 
sighed with finality, "but I do have a sugges- 
tion for a young man like yourself who says 
that he's quite experienced in dealing with 
women and likes to travel.“ 

“And what's that? Lets hear it.” 

"Fuck offl” 


A furious pounding in a hotel room late one 
night awakened a number of guests. The house 


detective was called and he used his passkey 
to enter the room from which the noise was 


with every breath. “Here, stop that!" 
ed the security man. “You're d 
whole hotel!” 

"Damn the hotel!" roared the oldster as he 
continued to pound away. "Its the first erec- 
tion I've had in year—and both my hands 
are asleep!" 


Lisped a limp-wristed cowboy named Fay: 
"It's a hell of a place to be gay! 

I must, on these prairies, 

For shortage of fairies, 
With the deer and the antelope play.” 


The anthropologist who had just returned from 
a remote South Pacific island told a gathering 
of colleagues that the members of the he 
had been studying used palm-leaf suppositories 
to relieve constipation. “And how do the 
sults compare with those from the use of 
lized medical treatment?” asked one of the 
group. 

“The results struck me as superior,” replied 
the anthropologist. “In fact, with fronds like 
those, who needs enemas?” 


We doubt that you've heard about the 97- 
year-old prostitute who got herself listed in 
the Yellow Pages and now claims to be the 
oldest trick in the book. 


Ay 
We 
p 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Australian 
abortion as a womberang. 


Quick,” shouted a woman as she rushed into 
the drugstore, "do you have any way to cure 
hiccups?” 

"The pharmacist dashed out from behind the 
counter, dropped to his knces in front of the 
woman, flipped up her skirt, yanked down her 
panties and gave her a resounding pubic kiss. 
Then he looked up with a smirk and said, 
“There—that ought to have done it. It’s the 
best cure in town!” 

“The hell you say!" exclaimed the woman. 
"Just you wait until I get my husband! He's 
outside in the car—hiccuping his head off!” 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, pLaysoy, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


121 


e R MAL er Y n VR "s 
= M ov : : „ mne SA i 
° : . : .* how to get close 
. » To some 


G heavenly bodies 

A 0 eh e eee Q a 

5 o 0 X A 2 i 
PRIVATE = = 


rs) 


» "TERRA REFRACTOR 


SPACEMASTER ie 
: 


We soelsw doubt hot 

e Galileo: Newton, Holley®and™ 
other pioneers of modem 
astronomy hud in mind the type 
of full moon That's pictured 
heré when they squipted skyward 

. questing further knowledge vf o 
, heavenly.bodies. Bui we do know 
athat today's telescopes and 1 
spotting scopes are great fun— 
and if you should zero inona -+ 

«planet or a, constellation while 
trying tg'bring on object of « 
somewhat different configuration * 
into proper perspective, 5 
that's OK, too. Invented in » , 
(concluded on page 190) 


GUNSIGHTER-SCOPE 


TURN TO PAGE 190 FOR DETAILED INFORMATION ON THESE SCOPES. 


» 


PLAYBO 


55 BE DAMNED! 


suicides, for example), junk cars, poor 
weather, etc., that combine with speed to 
cause problems. But there is no statistical 
support whatsoever that a healthy, 
reasonably intelligent person with good 
eyesight and quick reflexes, driving a 
quick, agile car with top-quality radial 
tires, excellent brakes, steering, suspei 
sion, ctc., is contributing to the highway 
carnage. Convince me otherwise and TIL 
back off. but until then, FIL operate in 
good-natured protest against a speed- 
enforcement system that I believe is shot. 
through with inefficiency and hypocrisy— 
and keep my eyes open and my foot dow! 

Using # driving technique that was de- 
veloped in Europe (where, until the 
OPEC embargo, most countries had no 
superhighway speed lünits at all—an 
environment that quite logically produced 
incredibly safe and roadworthy cars such 
as the Mercedes-Benz, BMW, Porsche, 
Alla Romeo, Ferrari) in the United 
States was hard enough before the na- 
tional 55-mph speed limit, but now it 
takes some real concentration. 

But wait a minute, you protest, didn't 
1 Washington institute the 
55-mph limit for two reasons—to save 
lives and to conserve fuel? Of course they 
did; the simple fact that it does neither 
has had no impact on their thinking. 
Consider these realities: As the economy 
improves, the accident rate seems headed 
for pre-fuel-crunch levels, proving what 
antiestablishment traffic experts ma 
tained all along: Altered driving habits, 
not reduced speeds, temporarily reduced 
accidents in 1974. Does 55 mph cut fuel 
sumption? Obviously, the slower the 
ng speed, the better the gas mileage, 
except for trucks, which for the most part 
must operate in a lower gear, which means 
higher engine revs and more fuel burned. 
And then we have really efficient small 
cus with lightweight, slippery body 
shapes that get better mileage at 80 mph 
than some monster sedans get at 40 mph. 
Add to that the general loss of efficiency 
me wasted and you can 
ith the guy who said, "Driv- 
across Texas at 55 mph isn't a trip, 
is a goddamn carcer!" 

All well and good, you say, but i: 
trying to drive fast in the United States 
tantamount to robbing a bank armed 
with a rusty spoon? I mean, the high- 
ways are supposed to be swarming with 
cops in high-powered patrol cars, poised 
to ticket anybody who exceeds 55 mph. 
Aren't the papers full of stories about the 
California Highway Patrol (we scofflaws 
call cops Chippies) convoying mobs of 
cars between Los Angeles and Las Vegas? 
Isn't the word out that Ohio has gone 
crazy in some kind of asphalt pogrom to 
enforce the new it? All true, Yes, 
even great crossroads of desolation such as 


emp: 


124 Wyoming and Arizona have generated 


(continued from page 103) 


substantial—if spotty—enthusiasm for en- 
forcement ol the “55.” Such states as North 
Carolina, Utah, New Mexico, Pennsyl- 
Maryland, New Jersey have 
evidenced fitful urges to get tough, but, 
like New York. Colorado, Indiana, IHi- 
nois, Texas and others that have quietly 
resisted this newest spasm of Washington- 
based nonsense, they lack the moncy, the 
manpower and the popular support to 
make 55 mph effec 


Nobody—not even your Aunt Ruth 
with her '63 Rambler Americin—is going 


will not accommodate such a sluggish 
pace, They were designed for utterly s 
speeds in the 70-mph range 
velocities are simply dumb. When one 
recalls that 85 percent of all traffic in a 
given situation operates at a reasonable 
speed, regardless of the posted limit, the 
news that average interstate trafic is 
loping along at about 65 mph is hardly 
a revelation. 

But that is sull not quick enough. My 
particular preference is a cruising speed 
the 75-80-mph range on open inter- 
states, but a pace at which you can 
get your ass handed to you practically 
anyplace in the U. Therefore, a little 
serious preparation is necesary if you 
plan to run that quickly and (1) keep 
your license for more than a week at a 
time, (2) stay out of jail and (3) not go 
broke paying fines. Actually, a fair 
amount of field research exists on the sub- 
ject of subverting the highway heat. There 
is this underground coast-to-coast race 
Baker Sea. to- 
ophy Dash that 
Tas produced incredible amounts of infor- 
mation on the subject. Started in 1971 by a 
semiweird journalist, car freak and gener- 
al troublemaker named Brock Yates, the 
Cannonball has been run four times 
from inidtown Manhattan to the Portofino 
Inn on the Pacific Ocean at Redondo 
Beach, California, south of L.A. The pres- 
ent record, including New York and L.A. 
uaffic, plus all stops, is 35 hours and 53 
minutes (set in 1975 by two Floridians 
driving a Ferrari Dino), which works out 
to an average speed of 82 mph. Can you 
run fast in the United States? The '75 
Cannonball had 18 entrants, all of whom 
finished the run at an overall average 
speed of 70.7 mph and got fewer than a 
dozen tickets and warnings in the process. 
Dangerous? Not hardly what the safety 
establishment tells you: The four Cannon- 
ball runs have involved 61 vehicles 
ranging from 175-mph Ferraris to motor 
homes and pickups—and 149 individual 
drivers. Driving on the interstates at 
speeds seldom less than 75 mph and often 
over 100 mph, these people (myself 
cluded) have recorded over 160,000 miles 
h one minor accident. Yes, good 
drivers and good cars can run quickly 
and salely on the open roads. Here are 


some of the things we learned along the 
way: 
Know thine enemy: Generally speak- 
ing. the interstate system is in the juris 
diction of the highway patrols of the 
individual states. They haye different 
operating procedures and use different 
brands and colors of cars, etc. California, 
for example, uses black-and-white Dodges, 
often without a light or "gum-ball 
machine" on thc roof, which makes them. 
hard to spot in freeway traffic. California 
uses very little radar or VASCAR, which 
means the patrols catch people by sitting 
on the freeways on ramps or making high- 
speed “sweeps” through traffic, picking up 
anyone they have trouble overtaking. 
Many other states use unmarked patrol 
cars (although they are generally identi- 
fiable to the sharp-cyed for the following 
reasons: 1, They are usually full-size, 
solid-color, stripped versions of the regu- 
lar Ford, Chevrolet or Dodge patrol cars 
used by the particular state in question. 
2. Somewhere on the car a tiny VHF 
whip antenna and, in many cases, a spot- 
light on the driver'sside windshield 
pillar. 3. Specially built police specials 
usuall ver on their suspensions and 
use slightly wider tires than normal cars 
4. They will usually carry official state 
ense plates). This unmarked-car busi- 
be frustrating; many is the time 
ly trailed a slow-moving Dodge 
or Ford that fits the description, only to 
discover that the driver is a member of 
the Office of Weights and Measures or 
some such thing. Moreover, some states 
are getting really sneaky—New Jersey is 
using vans equipped with radar parked 
on its overpasses and Arizona and Mary- 
land, among others, have been known to 
let their troopers use what appear to be 
private cars and even old pickups. How. 
ever, disguises can work both ways. The 
1972 Cannonball featured a trio of sports- 
car racers who ran their Mercedes-Benz 
cross-country while decked out as Roman 
Catholic priests. After being arrested in 
Arizona for driving 95 mph, one of the 
impersonators suggested to the patrolman 
that he might reduce the speed on the 
ticket to a more saintly—and less expen- 

ve—velocity. The officer, vaguely s 
picious, countered, “Yes, Father, we could 
reduce the speed, but that would be lying, 
wouldn't its“ Until you're sure, be sus- 
picious of any vehicle on the road; it's 
that simple. Memorize the brands and 
colors of patrol cars in the areas where 
you drive. 

Highway patrolsuse three basic methods 
to trap speeders: radar—a version of the 
military device that measures speed via 
microwave signals; VASCAR—a simple 
time-distance computer, operated by the 
officer from his car, that en no beams 
or signals whatsoever; and the aged but 
basically foolproof method of clocking 
relative speeds by speedometer. In theory, 

(continued on page 231) 


SEX IS GOOD 
RYOUR HEALTH 


Would: 
n uis 
you know--the best 


e 
pe a pall 


diei 
ine 
around turns out to 


an By EDWARD M 
JEREMY BRECHER 


PLAYBOY'S HISTORY OF 
ASSASSINATION .......- 


m——— PART VIL 


BLACK AGAINST BLACK 


article 


By JAMES MCKINLEY 


the sixties saw the death 
of our two major black 
leaders, both working to 
solve the same problems. 
malcolm x advocated vio- 
lent solutions, martin 
luther king, jr., preached 
a doctrine of brotherhood, 
but they were both brought 
down by gunfire, and 
questions remain: did 
elijah muhammad have 
malcolm murdered? did 
james earl ray shoot king? 


Malcolm X {above left), the first black victim of politico! ossassina- in 1965 using a shotgun and handguns. Above center: Moments after 
tion in America since John Kennedy's death, was a Black Muslim who the fatal shats, friends vainly try to save Malcolm's life, Below left: 
had been suspended fram the sect by its leader, Elijah Muhammad Police remove his body. Certain that Elijah had ordered the killing, 
(above right). Three Black Muslims brutally gunned Molcalm down Malcolm's followers burned down his Harlem mosque (below right). 


This thing with me 
will be resolved by 
death and violence. 

—MALCOLM X 


I'm not fearing any 
man. Mine eyes have 
seen the glory of the 
coming of the Lord. 

— MARTIN LUTHER 
KING, JR. 


JOHN KENNEDY’s unfathom- 
able death created in many 
Americans a terrifving ex- 
pectancy. If that could hap- 
pen, anything was possible. 
We sensed that the poten- 
tial for political murder 
had been only partially 
discharged with Kennedy. 
Somehow it was still sus- 
pended above the nation, a 
nearly palpable menace 
awaiting its moment. Who 
would be next we won- 
dered? 

The answer surprised us. 
Our next two assassination 
victims were not, as always 
before, powerful white pol- 
iticians. Instead, the assas- 
sins struck black reformers. 
Men, in fact, who in dif- 
ferent ways—the one as 
incendiary, the other as 
were protesting 
justices they believed 
white politicians had 
caused or tolerated. 

The first to die, Malcolm 
X, put his bitterness suc- 
cinctly. Of Kennedys assas- 
sination he said, “Chickens 
coming home to roost never 
did make me sad: They've 
always made me glad.” The 
chickens Malcolm had in 
mind were not just in ghet- 
tos; he felt they had also 
winged in from Southeast 
Asia and the Third World. 
It didn’t matter that Ken- 
nedy at the time of his 
death was preparing 
ranging civil rights leg 
tion or that his inheritor, 
Lyndon Johnson, was spon- 
soring bills that in time 
would inspire some black 
leaders to hail him as the 


Center right: In this 1956 phata, 
a black woman wha was one af 
the first ta ride in the front af the 
bus after the desegregation arder 
sits next ta Ralph Abernathy, 
longtime friend of King, wha 
is just behind him. As civil 
rights marches grew, increasing 
attention (and hate) was focused 
on their leaders, especially King. 


3 


"Longevity has its place,” King 
said to a crowd the night before 
his death, “but I'm nat concerned 
abaut that naw. ... So I'm happy 
tonight, I'm nat worried about 
anything. I'm nat fearing any 
man." The next doy, April 4, 
1968, James Eorl Ray (below) 
watched fram his room abaut 200 
feet away os King stood an the 
balcony of the Lorraine Matel, 
leaning over the railing, talking 
ta friends. Maments later, at 6:01 
P.M., Martin Luther King was deed. 


ILLUSTRATION BY CHET JEZIERSKI 


rh pomm 
7 ANS 


3 — 


Moments after the fatal shot, King's aides point from the balcany in the direction from which the shot come. 
A slug from o .30-'06 rifle entered the right side of King’s neck and went on to sever his spinol column. 
Fatally wounded, King lies among the helpless witnesses, a motel towel covering the right half of his face. 


greatest civil rights Presi- 
dent since Lincoln. 

That was not enough for 
Malcolm, nor for King. 
They wanted justice now, 
freedom now. Like the 
preachers sons they were, 
they exhorted their disciples 
to demand just that. But 
before they could see those 
demands met, each was 
dead and his cause soon 
faltered. Assassination had 
again removed a leader and 
deflected, perhaps thwarted, 
his movement. For those 
who kept faith with Mal- 
colm and King, it was small 
comfort that the ultimate 
effects of their deaths were 
unknowable. Better to turn 
to assassination’s only other 
constant, the questions of 
just who killed them and 
why. 

With Malcolm it seemed 
simple. On Sunday after- 
noon, February 21, 1965, 
three men attacked him 
while he was addressing a 
congregation of his Organ- 
ization of Afro-American 
Unity in the Audubon Ball- 
room, at 166th Street and 
Broadway, in New York. 
The assassins were well 
drilled. Two stood up about 
eight rows from the TOS- 
trum. "Don't be messin’ with 
my pockets," one hollered, 
and while Malcolm asked 
them to cool it, his body- 
guards moved toward them. 
"Then smoke billowed from 


King was buried in a plain wooden casket drawn through the streets by 
mules. Millions mourned and hundreds of thousands lined the streets... 


hus. 
a Y* 8 
but just hours after King's death, hundreds of thousands, shocked 
ond embittered, olso took to the streets for another purpose: 125 cities 
were threatened by the riots and looting that followed the ossassination. 


PLAYBOY 


a man's sock soaked in lighter fluid and 
set afire in the aisle. As Malcolm and 
his 400 followers stared at the confu- 
ion, a man rushed the stage with a 
sawed-off, double-barreled 12-gauge shot- 
gun wrapped in a gray jacket. The blasts 
caught Malcolm in the chest, blowing 
him backward over a chair. Two other 
men moved up and pumped shot after 
shot from a .38 and a .45 into his body 
before all three ran to escape. Two made 
it, but a bodyguard's pistol felled one. 
The crowd outside broke his leg and 
would have led him if police hadn't 
come to his rescue. They soon identified 
him as Talmadge Hayer, a.k.a. Thomas 
Hagan. 

In the ballroom, Malcolm was dead. 
His pregnant wife, Betty Shabazz, wailed 
over his body, and another woman 
keened, Oh, black folks, black folks, why 
you got to kill each other?" That 
was obviously. Malcolm's lieutenants 
were sure Elijah Muhammad had or- 
dered the Killing and that trained killers 
from the Fruit of Islam, the Black 
Muslim strike force, had carried it out. 
Fourteen months before, Elijah had sus- 
pended Malcolm from the Muslims, 
ostensibly for his remark about Kennedy, 
but really, they thought, because he 
feared the startling charisma of Malcolm, 
feared that Malcolm's new organization 
would attract more blacks than thc 
Muslims and, above all, feared that 
Malcolm would tell what he knew about 
sub rosa Muslim activities. 

Malcolm himself had thought the Mus- 
lims might kill him. They were respon- 
ble, he'd said, for the fire-bombing of 
his home just a week before he went to 
the Audubon. That was their gratitude 
for all he'd done. He'd built up the Mus- 
lim organization in New York. He'd en- 
rolled their most famousrecruit, the young 
heavyweight Cassius Clay. He'd articu- 
lated for them the black man's rage as 
no one had. “If ballots won't work, 
bullets will,” he had once proclaimed, 
and now he feared he was to be the proof 
of thar sentiment. That seemed ironic. 
He, born Malcolm Little, the man who 
his youth was convinced that white 
racists had burned his home and killed 
s father, who as Big Red (for 
reddish hair and light skin, the legacy 
of a “white rapist” grandfather) had 
gotten through zoot suits and. processed 
hair, through dealing cocaine and grass, 
through burglary and six years in the 
slammer, where he'd learned about Islam 
and became converted, and then made 
it up dose to Elijah's side, this man was 
now to be killed not by the "white 
devils” he excoriated but by his onetime 
brothers. Still, even Malcolm admitted 
they had reason. After he'd left the Mus- 
lims, he accused the 67-year-old Elijah 
of sexual promiscuity with teenage 
“secretaries” and declared he would, 
threatened, tell everything he knew; for 


130 example, about deals the Muslims had 


made with the Ku Klux Klan and the 
Party to separate con- 
tested territories into black and white 
spheres of influence, There were rumoi 
too, that Elijah’s sect had, like the Klan, 
accepted money from H. L. Hunt, who 
likewise thought it a capital idea to keep 
black and white apart. Such revelations 
could badly damage the Muslims. “Th 
is set, and Malcolm shall not escape, 
Elijah opined. No wonder that Malcolm 
wrote, "Some of the followers of Elijah 
Muhammad would still consider it a 
first-rank honor to kill me.” 

lt had apparently happened. Soon 
after the shooting, police arrested. two 
Black Muslims as Hayer’s accomplices. 
Thomas “15X” Johnson was eventually 
tried as the shotgunner. Norman "3X" 
Butler was charged with being the third 
gunman. Both had reputations as en- 
forcers for the Muslims (at the time of 
Malcolm's assassination, Butler was out 
on $100,000 bond for shooting another 
Muslim defector). In 1966, the three 
were convicted of the murder and sen- 
tenced to life in prison. A rougher sort of 
justice moved faster than that. Within 36 
hours of Malcolm's death, the Muslims’ 
Mosque Number Seven in Harlem 
burned beyond repair, and for months 
after, Malcolm's allies publicly, if futilely, 
threatened to kill jah. But at least 
everyone agreed: The Muslims. possibly 
with outside encouragement—had assas- 
inated Malcolm X. 

That verdict still seems fair, even con- 
sidering that no firm evidence ever led 
beyond the three convicted assassins (Eli- 
jah repeatedly denied any personal or 

anizational responsibility, but it is 
1 act that the Fruit of Islam 
s do not act on their own initiative). 
ever the case, Malcolm X was 
dead. Many called that good riddance, 
remembering his hysterical rantings 
against whites, his calls for a separate 
black nation, his exhortations to blacks to 
buy guns and "get the white monkey off 
your back." Yet near the end, Malcolm 
seemed to have changed. He professed a 
new idealism. Trips abroad and a pi 
grimage to Mecca had convinced him of 
the need for a brotherhood of all the op- 
pressed, instead of war between the dark- 
er and the paler races. Ironically, that 
perception may also have helped doom 
Malcolm. A story had it that because of 
his visit, Moslems abroad had decided to 
give money to his organization instead of 
Elijah’s, a prospect that could have pro- 
vided the Muslims with another motive 
for removing Malcolm. Nevertheless, M 
colm persisted in saying the Muslim doc- 
trine produced zombies. He said he 
was glad to be free of his hysteria, of "the 


to be one, it will be in the cause of 
brotherhood.” Unfortunately, he did not 
die in brotherhood's name but in a 
climate of violence that his early hate- 


mongering may partially have made. 
Only his magnificent autobiography sug- 
gests what he might have become in other 
climes. Sadly, the violent weather was to 
hold, a fact deplored at the time of 
Malcolm's death by King. who ruefully 
said such violence “is not good for the 
image of our nation and not good for the 
Negro cause.” That was three years be 
fore Memphis, where King became a 
genuine martyr to brotherhood. 


It was in Memphis, of course, that 
Martin Luther King and James Earl Ray 
came to be paired as saint and criminal ii 
the pantheon of American assassinations. 
Yet, as with Lincoln and Booth, Ken- 
nedy and Oswald, there are vital ques 
tions surrounding that pairing, so many 
that we truly know only two things. 

First, we know that at six P.M. on April 
4, 1968, King leaned on the railing of 
the balcony of Memphis’ Lorraine Motel 
into the sights of a 30706 rifle. One min- 
ute later, a bullet ripped through his 
right jaw and into his throat and body, 
killing him with a single shot that ended 
his dream of social equality, that burned 
Detroit and Washington, that launched a 
world-wide search for his killer and that 
ly brought in a skinny, petty- 
escaped convict and lifelong 
ously called Eric vo Galt, 
Harvey Lowmyer, John Willard, John 
Rayns, Paul E. Bridgman, Ramon George 
Sneyd, but known to us soon and ever 
since as James Earl Ray. 

Second, we know that even if Ray did 
kill King—and there is reasonable doubt 
that it could be proved—he has been 
victimized, almost framed, by legal and 
judicial irregularities, the cover-up of im- 
portant. facts in the slaying and a failure 
by the FBI and Memphis police to in- 
vestigate thoroughly the possibility of a 
conspiracy. 

To understand those two things, we 
must be; with M n Luther King. 
King was in Memphis to lead a protest 
march in support of Local 1733, the 
nearly all-black local of the garbage and 
sewer workers union. The 1300 men had 
gone on strike in February, asking for a 
50-cent-an-hour raise, workmen's compen- 
sation insurance and an insurance pro- 
m. Memphis officials refused. Inevit- 
ably, trouble built. The town seethed with 
race hatc. Memphis’ black leaders called 
for King, the Nobel apostle of nonviolence. 

On March 18, 1968, King arrived from 
Anaheim, California, where he'd given a 
speech two days before. (Ray, then under- 
ground in Los Angeles, had noticed it.) In 
Memphis, King exhorted 15,000 people 
to join in a work stoppage. It happened, 
but the agent was a freak snowstorm, 
not aggrieved citizens. One plan frus- 
trated, King consented to lead a march 
on March 28. 

It was a disaster. Militant youths, the 
Invaders, broke Kings nonviolent rules 

(continued on page 210) 


"Mmm. Tell another lie, Pinocchio." 


131 


AMAIE OF THE / 


lillian müller created a sensation when she debuted 
last august—but that was only the beginning, folks 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


DMITTEDLY, we are sometimes inclined to overstatement. When Lillian Müller appeared as our August 
1975 gatefold girl, we called her the most striking Playmate ever. Ever? Well, if not ever, then certainly 
within recent memory. It should be obyious to all that we are dealing with a remarkably attractive 
woman, After a year of observation and appreciation of the 12 beautiful ladies who graced our gatefolds 
in 1975, our readers felt that it was inevitable and proper that Lillian should receive Playmate of the Year 
honors. The editors concurred, if for no other reason than her eyes. Yes, her eyes. A correspondent for the 
German magazine Neue Revue met our August Playmate and wrote: “With such a figure, it’s amazing that 
one would first be drawn to her face. Deep-blue, astonished eyes look at you, always a little reproachful, always 
a little surprised, as if immediately guessing your thoughts." Amazing, indeed, but Europeans have always 
been subtle. Bruno Bernard, a famous Hollywood glamor photographer (and, incidentally, father of December 
1966 Playmate Sue Bernard), met Lillian at Playboy Mansion West. He saw in her a rare and unforgettable 
combination of eroticism and innocence. “Nobody escapes her eyes," he says. A few months later, he showed 
the Playmate feature to a friend, Rolf Thiele, a West German director who (text concluded on page 198) 


134 


poe M 


“I grew up in a small Norwegian village, where there was no such thing 
as a life of glamor. Now, in Hollywood, I find so many people who are beautiful, 
erotic, sensuous. They have style. They dress up to make undressing that 
much more fun. Even everyday gestures are sexy. It’s good to celebrate life.” 


136 


As Playmate; I frequently visited Mansion West. It is everything I love about 
California. It all sparkles—the sunlight, the jountains, the swimming pools, the 
gardens and the conversation. It’s like a European salon, with one difference: 
The people you mect are not only intelligent, they are exciting, loose, fun.” 


“I look for certain qualities in a lover. He must be strong, masculine, 
ambitious. He must be able to guide me and guard me. If a man has these qualities, 
I will love him no matter what language we speak when we are together.” 


NWN pp il 


140 


“Some women change men the way they change clothes. Not me. When I love 
a person, I need him completely. I want someone I can just go to bed 
with and hold on to. I make love when there is love. If there is patience, 
care between two people, the sex cannot be bad. Do you understand?" 


142 


“There has been an explosion in my life and I have been very active, pursuing an 
acting career. But I'm not living like a nun. I still find time to relax, 
to bea little bit lazy, to concentrate on my man and Spend some time in bed.” 


“Will that be all, sir?” 


14 


tivo droll songs trom Pills to Purge Melancholy, 1698 
(Pretty Kate of Windsor and Tenement to Let!) 


Pretty te of Windsor 


Near to the town of Windsor, upon a pleasant green, 
There lived a miller's daughter, her age about eighteen: 

A skin as white as alabaster, and a killing eye, 

A round, plump, bonny buttock, joined to a tapered thigh: 
Then, ah, be kind, my dear, be kinder! was the ditty still, 
When pretty Kate of Windsor came to the mill. 


To treat with her in private, first came a booby squire: 

He offered ten broad pieces, but she refused the hire. 

She said his corn was musty, nor should her toll dish fill: 

His measure, too, so scanty, she feared ’twould burn her mill. 


Soon nfter came a lawyer, as he the circuit went: 

He swore he'd cheat her landlord and she should pay no rent. 
He questioned the fee simple—but him she plainly told: 

TU keep, in spite of law tricks, mine own dear copyhold! 


Next came a trooper who did of fighting prate, 

Till she pulled out his pistol and knocked him o'er the pate. 
I hate, she cried, a hector, a drone without a sting: 
For if you must be fighting, frend, go do it for the king! 


Next came a strutting sailor who was of mate’s degree: 
He bragged much of his valor, of fighting late at sea. 

She told him his bravadoes but lamely did appear: 

For if you had stood to't, rogue, the French would not be here. 


Next came a smug physician upon a pacing mare, 

But Kate esteemed this doctor less than any had been there. 
He was so used to clysters,* she told him to his face, 

He always would be plunging his pipe in the wrong place! 


The parson of the parish did next his flame revea 
She made him second mourning and covered him with meal. 
The man of God stood fretting—she bid him be not vexed: 
‘Twill serve you for a surplice to cant in Sunday next. 


If you want to know the reason why she was so unkind— 
There was a brisk young farmer who first taught her lo grind. 
And he was just the workman and his the ready skill 

To open up her water gate and best supply her mill. 

Then, ah, be kind, my dear, be kinder! was the ditty still; 
When pretty Kate of Windsor came to the mill. 


*Enemas. 


Tenement to Let! 


I have a tenement to let 

I hope will please you all— 

And if you'd know the name of it, 
is known as "Cunny Hall.” 


It's seated in a pleasant vale, 
Beneath a rising hill, 

And I shall let this tenement 
Towhomsoc'er I vill. 


For ycars, for months, for weeks, for days, 
P'U let this famous bower. 

Nay, rather than a tenant lack, 

I'd let it jor an hour! 


here's round about a pleasant grove 
To shade it from the sun, 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY BRAO HOLLAND 


Ribald Classic 


And underneath is well water 
That pleasantly does run, 


Where, if you're hot, you may be cooled, 
If cold, you may find heat: 
It is a well-contrivéd spring, 
Not little, nor too great. 


The place is very dark by night 
And so it is by day, 

But when you once are entered in, 
You cannot lose your way. 


And when you're in, go boldly on, 

As far as e'er you can. 

And if you reach the housctop, 

You'll be my tenant man! LY | 


MS 


of law was vulgar, but the study of it 
was sublime." 

They were not so comforting when 
they came. 

‘Break your mother’s heart,” said one. 

“If you'd only stayed at Wellesley,” 
said the other. 

"A girl alone has to protect herself,“ 
Jenny said. "What could be more 
propel 

But one of her brothers asked her if 
she could prove that she had not had 
previous relations with the m: 


PLAYBOY 


"Confidentially," whispered the other 
one, "have you been dating this guy 
long?" 


Finally, things were cleared up when 
the police discovered that the soldier v 
from New York, where he had a wife and 

child. He had taken a leave in Boston 
d, more than anything else, he feared 
the story would get back to his wife. 
cryone secmed to agree that would be 
awful, for everyone, so Jenny was re- 
leased without charges. When she made 

fuss that the police had not given her 
back her scalpel, one of her brothers 
said, “For God's sake, Jennifer, you can 
steal another one, can't you? 

7I didn't steal it,” Jenny s: 

“You should have some friends,” a 
brother told her. 

“At Wellesley,” they repeated. 

“Thank you for coming when I called 
Jenny said. 


you, 
"V y one said. 
“Blood runs thick,” said the other; 
n he paled, embarrassed at the asso- 
ciation—her dress was so besmirched. 
"I'm a good girl," Jenny told them. 
said the older one, her 
lifes earliest model—for wisdom, for all 
That was right. He was rather solemn; 
he s. It's best not to get involved 
with married men.” 
"We won't tell. Momma, 
one said. 
"And certainly not Father!" said the 
st In an awkward attempt at some 
natural warmth, he winked at her—a 
gesture which contorted his face and for a 
moment convinced Jenny that her life's 
earliest model had developed a facial tic. 
Beside the brothers was a mailbox with 
a poster of Uncle Sam. A little soldier, 
all in brown, was climbing down, gently, 
from Uncle Sam's big hands. The little 
soldier was going to land on a map of 
Europe. The words under the poster 
said: sUPPORT OUR Boys! Jenny's older 
brother looked at Jenny looking at the 
poster. 
‘And don't get involved with soldiers,” 
he added. 

But Jenny Fields was too confused to be 
properly outraged, She was also sore— 
her ear, where the soldier had cuſted her, 
hurt her, and there was a deep muscle 
cramp between her shoulder blades that 

146 made it hard for her to sleep. She 


the other 


JE (continued from page 90) 


thought she must have wrenched some- 

in there when the theater lackeys 
bbed her in the lobby and pulled 
her arms behind her back. She remem- 
bered that hotwater bottles were sup- 
posed to be good for sore muscles and 
she got out of bed and went to her closet 
and opened one of her mother's gift 
packages. 

It was not a hotwater bottle. "That 
had been her mothers euphemism for 
something her mother couldn't bring he 
self to discuss, In the package a douche 
bag. Jenny's mother knew what they were 
for, and so did Jenny, She had helped 
many patients at the hospital use them, 
though at the hospital they were not much 
used to prevent pregnancies after lovemak- 
ng; they were used for general femini 
hygiene, and in venercal cases. 

Jenny was appalled. She opened all 
the packages. In each one was a douche. 
bag. "Please usc her mother had 
begged her. Jenny knew that her moth- 
er, though she meant well, assumed that 
Jenny's sexual y was considerable 
do doubt, as 
her mother would put it, “since Welles- 
ley.” Since Wellesley, Jenny's mother 
thought that Jenny was fornicating (as she 
would also put it) “to beat the band. 

Jenny Fields crawled back to bed with 
the douche bag filled with hot water and 
snuggled between her shoulder blades; 
she hoped the clamps that kept the water 
from running down the hose would not 
allow à leak, but to be sure, she held 
the hose in her hands, a little like a 
rubber ros nd she dropped the noz- 
zle with the tiny holes into her empty 
water glas. All night long, Jenny lay 
listening to the douche bag leak. 

In this dirtyminded world, she 
thought, you are either somebody's wife 
or somebody's whore—or fast on the way 
10 becoming one or the other. If you don't 
fit either category, then everyone tries to 
make you think there is something wrong 
with you. But, she thought, there is noth- 
ing wrong with me. : 

She decided that all my festations of 
her innocence were futile and only ap- 
peared defensive. She took a larger apart- 
ment, which prompted a new assault of 
packaged douche bags from her mother 

ack of nursing shoes from her 
t, thus tri- 
pling her previous allowance. It struck 
her that they were thinking: If she is to 


be a whore, let her at least be clean 
and well shod. 
In part, the war kept Jenny from 


dwelling on how badly her family mis- 
read her—and kept her from any bitter- 
ness and self-pity, too; Jenny was not a 
dweller. She was a good nurse and she 
increasingly busy. Many nurses were 
joining up, but Jenny had little desire for 

nge of uniform or for travel; she 
ary girl and she didn't want to 


have to meet a lot of new people. Also, 
she found the system of rank irritating 
enough in the hospital; in the Army, or 
could only be worse. 

rst of all, she would have missed the 
babies. She was at her best as a nurse. 
she felt, to mothers and their babies, 
and there were suddenly so many babies 
whose fathers were away, or dead or miss 
ing; Jenny wanted most of all to en- 
courage those mothers. In fact, she envied 
them. It was, to her, the ideal situation: 
a mother alone with a new baby, the 
husband blown out of the sky over 
A young woman with her child, 
life ahead of them—just the two. 
of them. A baby with no strings attached, 
thoughe Jenny. An almost virgin birth. 

These women, of course, were not al- 
ways as happy with their lot as Jenn 
thought she would have been. They were 
grieving, many of them, or abandoned 
(many others); they resented their chil- 
dren, some of them; they wanted a hu: 
nd and a father for their babies (m; 
others). But Jenny Fields was their en- 
courager, she spoke up for solitude, she 
told them how lucky they were. Some of 
them came around to seeing it her w. 
but Jenny's reputation at the hospital 
suffered her crusade. 

“Old Virgin Mary Jenny,” the other 
nurses said. “Doesn't t a baby the 
casy way. Why not ask God for it?” 

In her diary, Jenny wrote: 


I wanted a job and I wanted to 
live alone. That made me a sexual 
suspect. Then I wanted a baby, but 
1 didn't want to have to share my 
body or my life to have onc. That 
made me a sexual suspect, too. 


Jenny discovered that you got more 
respect from shocking other pcople than 
you got from trying to live your own life 
with a little privacy. She told the other. 
nurses that she would one day find a 
man to make her pregnant—just that, 
nothing more. She not entertain the 
y that the man would need to 
try more than once, she told them. ‘They, 
of course, couldn't wait to tell everyone 
they knew. It was not long before Jenny 
had several proposals, She had to make 
a sudden decision; She could retrea 
ned and embarrassed that her secret 
out, or she could be brazen. 

A young medical student told her he 
would volunteer on the condition that he 
could have at least six chances over 
three-day weekend. Jenny told him that 
he obviously lacked confidence; she 
wanted a child who would be morc sc- 
cure than 1 

An anesthesiologist told her he would 
even pay for the child's education— 
through college—but Jenny told him 
that his eyes were too close together and 
his teeth were poorly formed; she would 
not saddle her child with such handicaps. 

One of the other nurses boyfriends 

(continued on page 169) 


S 


1 Electronic calculator/biolator 
features on eight-digit capac- 
ity for math computations, along 
with biorhythm readings based on 
your birth date, by Casio, $29.95. 


i 2 Travel kit includes a canvas 
overnight / sports bag, a 
16-0z. bottle of YSL for Men 


cologne, plus an I.D. tag, by 
Yves Scint Laurent Parfumes, $30. 


3 Combination lock that holds 
WP 3312" of retractable woven- 
steel cable is ideal for keeping 


skis, bikes, etc., temptation-proof, 
from The Horchow Collection, $12. 


Photography by Richard Izui 


liberty '76 golf irons 
trimmed in red, white and 
blue are Gyailable in numbers 
from 2 to 9, plus pitching wedge 
and sand wedge, by lynx, $350. 


] 
5 A simple yet elegant 18-kt.- 
Wal! cold and ebony watch that 
offers 17-jewel movement, sap- 


phire crystal and black-leather 
strap, by Baume & Mercier, $800. 


6 Telephone-type C.8. radio 
features a mike/speaker 
handset with push-to-talk switch; 


has crystals for 23-channel use, 
from Radio Shack, $179.95. 


147 


148 


Counterstrike, a two-player game in o 
bross-hinged cttoché cose thot folds 


7 
out into a game boord; with 30 counters, 4 
dice, doubling cube, cups, by Essex, 550. 

í 
8 Stoinlesssteel wrist colculotor/watch 
with a sixdigit display ond o 12-digit 
calculating copability performs moth, tells 
the time, month and dote, by Pulsor, $550. 
9 200 Box-belt-drive avtomotic turntoble 
Í provides automatic, semiautomatic ond 


manval operation; S-shoped tonearm holds 
ADC VLM/ MK II cortridge, by BSR. $139.95. 


M 


Contax RTS offers automatic expo- 
sure, unique self-winder ottochment, 
$800 with 50mm lens; self-winder, $200; infro- 
red flosh, $140, oll by Yashica ond Corl Zeiss. 
i 
Il The Weshing Machine 
shower clutter, dispenses shampoo, 


conditioner ond liquid soap, oll ot the punch 
of o button, by Evolution Health Core, $29.95. 


eliminates 


e 
12 Mobile I Searcher hand-held tunable 

Idi sconning radia hos A.C. converter, 
scons four public-service V.H.F. (hi 
includes squelch control, by G. 


[7 

13 Model K 2900 LTD hos high-perform- 
Mui once 908 ce, engine, alloy wheels, 
Jordine exhaust, custom seot ond newly de- 
signed suspension system, by Kawosoki, $3295. 


channels; 
$69.95. 


[ 

l4 Top to bottom: Model T-100 AM/FM 
stereo tuner, about $700, P-300 om- 

plifier, about $800, and a stereo control cen- 

ter, about $650, all by Accuphase from TEAC. 


15 Seele d ce, dem ge 
I chine ejects balls at five-second inter- 
vols, includes on 8'x 8’ backdrop net, from 
The Horchow Collection, $79.95 without balls. 


mam 
16 ESS speakers feature a Heil air-motion 

' transformer with a special soft poly- 
ethylene diophragm; ciled-walnut cobinet 
meosures 35" x 16" x 16", by ESS, $396 each. 


17 Cook 'N Co'jun, o chorcoal-water 
smoker, seporotes coals from meot 
with liquid, is self-basting, so needs little tend. 
ing; olso serves os a grill, by Bosman, $50. 


18 The balance of these fibergloss tennis 
Ea. rackets is soid to obsorb shocks that 
add to orm fotigue; plostic 
sures tight strings, by Yomaho, $45 each. 


19 The Pronto!, o no-fold Land camera, 
is o low-priced way ta shoot SX-70 
pictures, has Galilean view finder, focus ronge 
from three feet to infinity, by Polaroid, $66. 
20 Extra-strong fibergloss Hobie Sun- 

doncer skate board can hold up to 


3600 lbs. and still turn quickly on wide-track 
urethane wheels, by Coachcraft Products, $60. 


sleeve en- 


149 


and a pi 


tube 
lead them 


tv has become a self-fulfilling prophecy: we are what we see 


Unwittingly, then, had I discovered an 
invisible Empire of the air. 
— LEE DE-FOXEST, who invented 
the Audion tube 


The relationship between consumer and 
advertiser is the last demonstration of neces 
sary love in the West, and its principal form 
of expression is the television comercial, 

—CoRE vip al, Myra Breckinriuge 


Television is chewing gum for the eyes. 
—FRED ALLEN 


article By JOHN LEONARD 


IT WAS A DINNER PARTY in a handsome 
apartment in Brooklyn Heights. The 
view was handsome, and so was the food, 
and so were the people, with the sorts 
of faces usually to be found stamped on 
Roman coins, Even the sullen surreal 
smear of art on the wall above the 
lowboy in the living room—a Techni- 
colored artichoke, a test pattern—seemed 


ace NN 


ee \~ ^3 


>s 


handsome. I was among professors of 
literature and sociology. 1, who professed 
nothing more compelling than my- 
self, had just been unmasked as a review- 
er of TV programs for a local newspaper. 
The professors wanted to know how any- 
one could watch 20 to 30 hours of tele- 
ision a week and stay serious, much less 
sane. They nodded so sympathetically I 
thought their heads would fall off and 
scare the cat. 
Well, how many hours of TV did they 
ch each week? I took up pen and 
paper. News? Five and one half hours, if 
one counted 60 Minutes on CBS and 
Close-Up on ABC. Documentaries? They 
all imed to watch lots of documentaries 
on hunger, crime, inflation, farm workers, 
pensions, prisons and the Middle East. 
I didn't believe them. Nobody watches 
documentaries, Say one half hour, being, 
generous. Drar specials? It was the 
same. Everybody claimed to have watched 
Kespeare, Ibsen, O'Neill Arthur 
‘Fennessee Williams. 1 doubt it. 
hour. Va i shows? Never, they 
id. Nor even Carol Burnett, or 
Minnelli, or Cher with Bette Midler and 
Elton John? No. Still, I gave them an 
hour. Situation comedies? Not really, 
except, perhaps, for M*A*S*H and The 
Mary Tyler Moore Show and, occasional- 
ly, Rhoda or The Bob Newhart Show, 
and once in a while All in the Family, 
nee at a fever chart on the 
cultural distemper. No one admitted to 
watching Maude, and yet everyone had a 
different reason for disliking it. An hour 
and a half. Talk shows? Hardly ever. 
Oh, maybe Johnny Carson's opening 
monolog, which is always interesting be- 
cause it tells us what can be safely reviled 
the nation this week; and then, if the 
st is Joan Rivers or Jonathan Winters 
nberg or 
nother 15 minutes; and 
of course, if Norman Mailer is 
o hours. 
ion? For Remedial Serious- 
ncss—Bill Moyers, Kenneth Clark, Jacob 
Bronowski, The Robert MacNeil Re- 
hour and a half; for Upstairs, 
Downstairs, an hour; for William F. 
Buckley, Jr, 15 minutes. Sports? Ah, 
that’s different. Five shameful hours or 
so, especially professional football and 
basketball, or if Catfish Hunter is pitch- 
ing; more in Olympic years; and much 
more if a local team looks as if it might 
make the playoffs Movies? Professors 
don't count watching movies as watching 
television. I do, either in prime time or 
after the late news. They will watch re- 
runs of the B movies of their youth— 
Andy Hardy Meets Frankenstein's Sister- 
in Lau, Sydney Greenstreet Goes lo a 
Beach Party, inferior in quality to an 
average episode of, say, Golumbo—until 
the cows come home and the cartoons 
come on. Ten hours. 
That amounts to about 30 hours of TV 
152 a week. And the total takes no account 


PLAYBOY 


gu 


or Woody Allen or David St 
Flip Wilson, 
then, 


W. 


of Barba ters, game shows, soap 
operas, political conventions and cam- 
paigns, assassinations, moon shots, mor: 
aturday-night “massacres” (as 
incidents" 
impeachment proceedings and Presiden- 
tial preemptions. The preemptions 
particularly time-consuming because, like 
jet lag, it takes a day or two to recover 
from them. We had one President on TV 
impersonating Ed Sullivan, arms aloft 
the famous V, operating as a 
shot, flinging our heads through the 
screen and to incredulity: Govern- 
ment by jack-in-the-box! Surprise! Freeze 
the wages go to Ci Look what 
Daddy brought home from the office— 
an invasion of Cambodia! Now we have 
a President who impersonates Joe Pa- 
looka: Eat your parsnips and the eco 
omy will grow strong. This is known as 
children's programing. 

These calculations should 
ined so much on the professoi 
Every survey suggests that intellectuals 
watch almost as much television as the 
rest of us, even if their sets—instead of 
being on display prominently in the 

1, room, like a moonstone or a prayer 
mat—are hidden away in the study, be- 
hind Da Vinci's notebooks, under a 
"Gcropegia woodii through whose tendrils 
their children must hack a path to Gilli- 
gan's Island. Moreover, intellectuals 
tend to look at approximately the same 
programs the lumpen do. The evening 
in Brooklyn Heights ended with ever 
body talking about Kojak. Did you know 
that the late Lionel Trilling watched 
Kojak? 


not 


Morley Safer, who was a superb corre- 
spondent covering the war in Vietnam, 
co-anchors 60 Minutes with Mike V 
lace and Dan Rather. He also takes his 
Jewishness seriously. Every year he has 
to explain to his outraged young daugh- 
ter why there will be no Christmas tree 
in their house, 

Safer used to live in Sneden's Landing, 
a postage stamp of God's country across 
the Hudson River from Manhattan. Po 
haps the only tage of living i 
Sneden's Landing is the vagary of tele 
reception, The set in Safer's house 
couldn't pick up the Channel 13 (public 
TV) sig 

One afternoon, Safer was ferrying his 
daughter and several of her friends to 
the circus or the Metropolitan Museum 
of Art, it doesn’t matter which, His 
daughter's friends were discussing Big 
Bird, the Cookie Monster, Bert, Ernie, 
Oscar the Grouch and the Muppets. 
fer's daughter announced: “We don't 
have Sesame Street at our house—because 
re Jewish. 


al. 


we 

At a series of seminars at Duke Uni- 
versity in the winter and spring of 1975, 
journalists variously electronic and other- 
wise met to meditate on their profession. 


Each was esteemed by his colleagues, 
which is why he had been chosen to be 
a Duke fellow in communications. Among 
them was Russell Baker, nonparcil colum. 
for The New York Times, and Bill 
Greider of The Washington Post, Alan 
Ouen of The Wall Street Journal, John 
Seigenthaler of The Nashville Tennes- 
sean and Ed Yoder, then of The Greens- 
boro Daily News. Sander Vanocur, who 
has done time with almost every network 
there is, presided. And Daniel Schorr 
the CBS reporter who makes as much 
news as he reports, was the star. 

The president of Duke is Terry n 
ford, who used to be governor of North 
Carolina. Terry Sanford runs for the 
Presidency of the United States the way 
other people run for the bathroom; he 
needs to. At a reception in his executive 
#5 in Durham, there was a receiving 


through (gs » petfunctorily 
shook h: h local dignit 
duding the gracious Mrs. Sanford. Just 
nce in the Course of these introductions 
did the eyes of M 1 Mrs- Sanford 
light up, like the dial of a radio. That 
was in their gasp of recognition on 
mecting Russell Baker. Their taste was 
impeccable, but their sense of what con- 
stitutes glamor in journalism was at least 
a decide behind the times—which may 
be one of the reasons Terry Sanford 
nown as the Harold Stassen of the 
Piedmont. Real glamor resides elsewhere 

It resides, as the students at Duke 
knew immediately, in Schorr and Van- 
ocur. Among the students, they were 
celebrities, in a dass with sports heroes, 
movie actors, rock musicians, only seri 
ous. Like a Cronkite, a Chancellor, a 
Howard K. Smith, in the synopsizing of 
the quotidian on our TV screens, their 
faces have become front pages, mirrors 
of events. They are heavy: They have 
taken on the gravity of all they have re- 
ported. Physically, they embody the 
news. History has thickened, substanti- 
ated them, And yet they are edited down 


nt. 
This density exerts our 
attention. Through their images, we are 
accustomed to trafficking with momen- 
tous occasions. It is altogether natural, 
then, that when they come personally 
among us, we should think it an occasion. 

Otherwise, why would they be here? 
Even the print journalists at Duke 
deferred to the TV density. The prob. 
lems of electronic news dominated the 
seminar discussions. It w clear from 
film dips that the unblinking camera 
could record the lump in the throat, the 
trembling of the hand, the bead of per- 
spiration that may, or may not, signify a 
lie, whereas the typewriter had to resort 
to adjectives and adverbs. Nobody 
believes adjectives and adverbs. The 
newspaper people were defensive and 
(continued on page 200) 


The scene is Concón, a 
sandy peninsula on the 
caast of Yucotón, just 

the place ta study Mayon 
hieroglyphics or to break 
in your new swimsuit— 

os these revelers, who flew 
down via Mexicana Air- 
lines (ond are staying ot 
the Camino Real), con 
testify. The strang-ormed 
Tarzan (top right) weors 
a terrycloth bikini, by 
Gantner, about $10. (His 
Jone's swimsuit is by 
Catalina Sea Scopes.) 
The guy at right sports a 
pullover caftan with stand- 
vp collor, by Christion 
Dior, $50. At for right 
are two more examples 
of how to stay delight- 
fully cool in Cancún: The 
basket-weove beach 
slacks with drawstring 
waist are by Gil Cohen 
for Boulet, $16; and the 
calica sharts with side 
weist buckles ore by 
Hol- o- Po, $9. (The 
lady, of course, is 
keeping the coolest.) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY PATRICK OE MARCHELIER 


Ore thing about a Mexicon 
vacotion, you don't need 
a svitcose full of clothes. 
Our lad at right needs 
only a zip-front catton 
velaur top with patch 
pockets and a ribbed 
caller and waist, $14, 
worn aver palished 
Docron/cottan swim 
shorts, $9, bath by 
Jantzen. (Her bikini i 

by Eeni Meeni Biki 
Below: The chop at left 
coaling it with his señorita 
is oppraprictely attired 

in a hoaded cotton 

velour pullover with 
three-buttan placket 

front ond kengaroo patch 
pockets, $32, plus a 
cotton terrycloth bikini, 

$7, both by Catalina. His 
colleague sports e space- 
age aluminum-caated 
nylan Western-type jacket 
featuring snap clasures 
and side waist buckles, 
$45, and nylon trunks, $16, 
both by Pierre Cardin. 
(Her bikini is by 
Gottex of Israel.) 


two opposing processes: catabolism and 
anabolism. 

Catabolism is the scientific name for 
the destructive processes constantly at 
work in the body—the breaking down of 
proteins, the death of cells, the wasting 
way of tissues. Anabolism is the repair- 
ing and restoring. process—the building 
up of new proteins, cells and tissues. 
Good health depends on m 
positive balance of anabol 
bolic processe: 

Dr. E. B. Astwood. professor of medi- 
cine at the Tufts University School of 
Medicine, describes what happens when 
the catabolic processes dominate: "Fol- 
lowing major injuries, alter surgical op- 
erations and during fever or other severe 
illness, there is a profound catabolic 
. leading to a widespread loss of 
of muscles, shrinkage of 
is and loss of depot fat.” 


PLAYBOY 


over cata- 


the vital or; 


Our appetite and weight fall off and we 
zest 


lose red and white blood cells. Ow 
for life fades. Our bones ma 


against infect 
immune reactions—are depressed so that 
we become more vulnerable to a wide 
iety of bacteria infec 
The bodily wasting away that sometimes 
occurs in old age is another nple of 
the victory of catabolism over anabolism. 
A physician, of course, will try to iden- 
tily and remove the cause of any pro- 
longed, severe and debili g disease. 
He will also want to reverse the catabolic- 
anabolic balance. Some physicians try to 
by prescribing nabolic ster- 
id—that is, a medicine that is supposed 
to speed up the anabolic processes, stim- 
ulating the body to build new proteins, 
cells and tissues, The anabolic steroids 
they prescribe are, in most cases, 
thetic testosterone derivativ 
that differ from testosterone. in only a 


s prefer to rely on the 
body's natural capacity to recuperate. 
Whether they think of it that way or not, 
these physicians are relying on one of the 
most potent of all anabolic steroids—the 
testosterone manufactured in the testes. 
Once the anabolic processes overtake 
the catabolic, with the help of either our 
own testosterone or a prescribed testos- 
terone derivative, we recover our appe- 
tite and zest for life, feel better, eat more, 
n lost weight. Our bones stop losing 
calcium; our muscle strength and skin 
tone improve. Our immune reactions 
gainst infection return to normal; so do 
our red. cell and white;cell cou 
The importance of testosterone 10 
normal development is demonst 
the bodies of males whose testes f 
mature properly at puberty or who are 
strated after puberty. In the absence of 
enough testosterone, the usual changes 
186 that come with puberty don't occur. The 


SEX IS GOOD eee from page 125) 


skeletal muscles remain underdeveloped. 
The skin is soft and thin. with a yellowish 


pallor. There is mild anemia—a dearth 
of red blood cells. The blood circulation 
is deficient. 

If testosterone is given to an adult 


cunuchoid male in this condi 


vigor ed within a Eu 
a genera g of well-be 
Astwood reports. There is a 


weight as new proteins. cells and tissues 
are manufactured. The anemia disap- 
pears and skin tone improves. Excctions 
of the penis begin within a day or two 
and the genitals rapidly mature- 

The healing of a wound is another ex- 
mple of abolic process. New pro- 
teins, cells and tissues are needed to repair 
the damage. Anabolic steroids such as tes- 
tosterone may hasten the healing process. 

The effects of anabolic steroids have 
also been studied in men who are neither 
sick nor eunuchs nor wounded, One such 
study by Drs. L. C. Johnson and J. P. 
O'Shea of Oregon State. University re- 
ported that muscular strength and ox, 
gen uptake both increased when healthy 
male college students were given an ana- 
bolic steroid. They gained weight—but 
their fat deposits did not increase, 
dicating that they were building cells and. 
tissues rather than adding fat. 

Another experiment was run on six of 
ihe strongest and healthiest young men 
in the world by Dr. Gideon Ariel of the 
University of. Massachus 
mental subjects were 
who had undergone inter 
in weight lifting for two years. The Ariel 
experiment lasted eight weeks—during 
which the men lifted heavy weights five 
days a weck and were tested on the sev- 
enh day. The tests were designed to 
determine the maximum weight each 
man could lift from four standard posi- 
tions known as the bench, the milita 
press, the seated press and the squat. 

During the second, third and fourth 
weeks, a little trick was played on the six 
athletes. Each man was given a pill con- 
taining tive ingredients pla- 
cebo—each told that it was 
a substantia bolic 
steroid resembling testosterone. These 
placebos had very litle effect on the 
maximum weights the men could lift. 
During the next four weeks, three of the 
men were continued on placebos. The 
other three, without any notice to them 
that their n was being changed, 
were switched to a substantial daily dose 
of a potent anabolic steroid, hetic 
testosterone. derivati nent 
was doubl the 
athletes. nor ner knew which 
men were receiving the anabolic steroid 
and which were receiving mere placebos. 
Each pill bore a code number and the 
code was kept sealed in the office of the 


no à 


university's Student Health Service. 
Thus. any possibility of a psychological 
effect was ruled out 

During the first week that 
them were on the true 
there was litle change in the men's per- 
formance. During the next three weeks, 
however, three of the men began lifting 
heavier and heavier weights—heavier 
compared with their own past records 
d heavier as compared with the other 
three men in the experiment. At the end 
of the eighth week. the code was 
unsealed. 

As you may have guessed, the three 
whose performance improved were the 
three who had been receiving the testos- 
clike steroid. 


three of 


The U.S. Food and Drug Administra- 
tion strongly disapproves of any use of 
anabolic steroids to enhance athletic 


steroids. some doctors 
ave harmful side effects. 
Nevertheless, the use of these steroids 
by athletes is said to be widespread, de- 
spite the FDA w. 

The anabolic steroids prescribed by 
physicians are marketed under more than 
two-dozen brand names by many of the 
country’s leading pharmaceutical firms, 
including Ciba, Organon, Parke-Davis, 
Schering. Searle. Squibb, Upjohn and 
Winthrop. But it isn't necessary to get a 
prescription for one or to buy it at a 
pharmacy. You can manufacture your 
own brand of testosterone without vio 
ing FDA regulations—and enjoy yourself 
in the process. 

At the Yerkes Regional Primate Re- 
rch Center in Lawrenceville. Georgia, 
a male rhesus monkey named Quid dem 
onstrated how testosterone levels can 
be raised and lowered without medica- 
tion. through changes in sexual and 
other activities. The research on Quid 
was conducted by Dr. Robert M. Rose 
of the Boston University School of Medi- 
cine and two associates. Drs. Thomas P. 
Gordon and Irwin S. Bernstein of the 
Yerkes research center. 

For the first two weeks of the experi- 
ment, the Rose team kept Quid isolated 
in his own ad periodically meas 
ured the amount of testosterone. circu- 
lating in his blood stream, Next, Quid 
as turned loose as the only male in a 
sort of rhesus paradise—a spacious out- 
door compound inhabited by 13 female 
thesus monkeys, several of whom were 
in heat. For that two-week period, Quid 
had all, engaging in the monkey 
equivalents of necking, petting and sex- 
ual intercourse whenever he felt like it— 
interrupted only by periodic checks of 
his testosterone. During his two orgiastic 
weeks, Quid's blood-testosterone level 
hed a peak more than twice as high 
as during the two weeks he spent isolated 
in his cage. 

After the two-week sexual romp, Quid 
was returned to his cage. Over the next 
(continued on page 208) 


sea 


THE VOICE OF THE HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE 


By RALPH KEYES 


IS THERE 
LIFE AFTE 


HIGH SCHOOL? 


for those still brooding over 
not being invited to the sock hop, 
some short hits on the most sig- 
nificant—and excruciating— 


Sour years of everybody's life 


“men scoot,” Frank Zappa once said, 
"isn't a time and a place. It's a state 
of mind. 

Especially in recent years, as we've 
lined up for American Graffiti, watched 
Happy Days on television and made 
Memoirs of an Ex-Prom Queen into a 
best seller, America has become sort of 
an ongoing high school assembly. 

As the most tribal experience many 
of us will ever undergo, high school 
must be memorable. Never again are 
we ranked so precisely by those around. 
us and on so many scales. Through the 
popularity polls of our classmates, and 
their inexperience at tact, daily feed- 
back was conveyed about how we were. 
coming across. Such merciless judgment 
is not easily forgotten; it’s the last time 
in life we know just where we stand in 
the scrutinizing eyes around us 

Consequently, insight into a person's 
high school behavior can usually give 
us an accurate picture of that person 


POP HISTORY QUIZ 
Above are high school yearbook 
photos of people you should recog- 
nize today. Name as many as you 
can, then turn the page for identifi- 
cation. Anyone caught looking at his 
neighbor's issue will be kept after 
school. As always, neatness counts. J 157 


158 


today. Knowing what he was like in 
high school can make, or seem to make, 
everything fall into place. Because 
study after study has shown that there 
is seldom much difference in behavior 
between adolescence and adulthood. A 
look at one group of students 13 years 
alter high school reports their “re- 
markable persistence of personality 
trends." What this means is that we're 
probably stuck for life with the be- 
havior we displayed in high school. If 
noisy then, we'll most likely be talkative 
now. Self-assured as teens, we'll appear 
on top of things later. A study compar- 
ing one group of physically mature high 
school boys with another group that 
took longer to develop found that 15 
years later, the first group still acted 
more sure of itself, even though its 
physical advantage had declined over 
the years. 

For those who want life to be dif- 
ferent after high school, this is dis- 


couraging news. 


But here is the encouraging news: 
Although our behavior may 
not change after 


hand, qualities 
that can lose 
you status in 
high school— 
aggressiveness, 
imagination and an 
independent turn of 
mind—may be just 
the qualities needed 
to make it in a 
larger setting where per- 

formance counts more than style. No 


/ 


/' -Robert logue B 


MN / 
school, the setting does. 

What succeeds in school % MEL 

won't work later on. proves / [A 
Physical gifts, looks, 

a winning way and 

an easy smile—except /] 

for the occasional 

Paul Newman or Ann- 

Margret—are qualities 

that won't get you 

two seconds on PS 
the evening news. 

On the other 


study has found any correlation 
between high status in high school and 
later achievement as an adult. 

To the contrary: 
One 


report 


KURT 
VONNEGUT, JR. 


A 


graduates eight 
years later found 
no relationshi 
whatever be- 
tween social success 
in high school and later 
vocational success. “Some of the high 
school wallflowers are now leading very 
active social lives.” the report stated, 
“and some of the sociometric queens of 
the prom now have little social interac 
tion outside their immediate family. 
“A study of the 
20 socially 
most 
popular 


and "prominent 
members of the senior 
class showed that this group did 
ve advantage or 
success in either social or other areas of 
youngadult performance when com- 
pared with a matched group of socially 
nonprominent peers.” 

In other words, things do change 
after high school and roles can 
reverse—radically. 


RICHARD NIXON 


Richard Nixon's stern young face is 
pictured next to that of president Bob 
Logue's, in his consolation job of student- 
body general manager at Whittier Union 
High School. By the picture Nixon has 
written: 


I have gone 10 2 different 
schools and have had 4 different 
Student Body Presidents and, no 
kiddin' Bob, you are the best I have 
ever had. Really, Bob, you surely 
have made a big success this year, 
in everything you have done. You 
know I've always been crazy about 


Yet the memories, good and bad, 
persist. Questions such as "What were 
you like in high school?" “Were you 
popular?" "How did you feel about 
your body?" “What do you suppose 
your classmates were saying about you?" 
are not questions to which one gets a 
simple yesorno answer. Those strug- 
gling to respond are soon caught up in 
a flood of memories—dates, dances, 
fights, slights—long dammed by adult 
propriety. "The memories are always 
personal and usually animated. Masks 
carefully constructed over the years 
crumble after a few moments of ado- 
lescent reverie. Bodies squirm, voices 
change. 


Revenge 
All the arrogance you read about 
stems from those days in high 
school. It all stems from a desire 
to be nobody's fool ever again. 
—RORRY DARIN 


Tam totally motivated by—I call 
it revenge. — NORA EPHRON 


I think for a long time there 
was an element in everything I did 
of “I'll-get-you-you-bastards.” 

KE NIGHOLS 


Someday, so help me, I'll be so 
famous none of you will ever be 
able to touch me again! 

— RONA BARRETT 


If they don't like me, someday 
they'll learn to respect me. 
— BETTY FRIEDAN 


"Cause I was a Jewish girl grow- 
ing up in a Samoan neighbor- 
hood . . 1 left . . and, you know, 
the old story about “TH show 
them" . . . 1 really felt that way and 
1 had a lot of anger built up in me 
from those years. —BETTE MIDLER 


Man, those people hurt me. It 
makes me happy to know I'm 
making it and that they're still 
back there, plumbers and all, just 
like they were. —JANIs yorLin 

(continued on page 162) 


athletics, etc, but I have never been 
able to go out. You have certainly 
done your part in that line. Very few 
athletes have been able to combine 
good grades, high office and athlet- 
ics—but you sure have. Thanks a 
lot for helping me this year at the 
gate and in everything you could. 
Boy, I've sure appreciated it. Re- 
member me Bob, not as an orator, 
scholar or anything but just as old 
Dick Nixon, member of the Student 
Body. Thanx—lots of love an kisses. 

Dick Nixon 
P.S. Stay away from Blondes. 


it doesn’t take much to turn the 
wedding march into a funeral dirge 


THE 
HONEUMOON 
IS OUER 


humor by 


“Why can’t you ever have premature 
ejaculations, like other men?” 


“She's entitled to the big O, “Our marriage counseling is doing 
Pete, old friend, and since some good. Warren isn’t always telling 
you can’t hack it...“ me I'm full of shit anymore.” 


“Remember, sweetheart open marriage. Ver funny." 
Mutual trust. The freedom to grow to the capacity 
of one's individual potential through love." 


"Marge, I don't know how you're going to take this, 
but I'm moving in with Sandra and Freddie." 


162 


LIFE AFTER HIGH SCHOOL? 


If I had been a really good-looking 
kid, I would have been popular with 
my classmates, I would have been 
smooth with the girls, I would have 
started scoring at about age 14, I 
would have been a big fraternity guy 
in college and I would have wound 
up selling Oldsmobiles. For sure, I 
wouldn't have had the bitterness and 
the fierce ambition I've necded in 
order to become a successful free- 
lance writer. —bAN GREENBURG 


I'd love to do something about all 
those football players I used to envy 
high school. What's with them? 
hey sell insurance and send th 
kids for karate lessons every Saturday. 
— ROBERT BLAKE 


"Thank d for the athletes and 
their rejection. Without them there 
would have been no emotional need 
and... I'd be a crackerjack salesman 
in the Garment District. 

—MEL BROOKS 


I really knew despair. 
— LAUREN HUTTON 


(continued from page 158) 
Why couldn't this have happened 
10 me when I was 16 and needed it? 
DUSTIN HOFFMAN 


Ten Ways to Get High School 
off Your Back 

1. Go back to high school. Walk down 
the up staircase. If anyone asks for your. 
hallway pass, tell him to get fucked. 

2. Work a high school cafeteria. 
Give smaller portions to students who 
resemble classmates you didn’t like. 

3. Become a state governor. Impound 
funds for secondary education. 

4. Send a copy of your doctoral dis- 
sertation to the counselor who said you 
weren't college material. 

5. Arrange to be given a nickname. 

6. Have your portrait t; 
should have appeared in the year! 

7. Check the welfare rolls regul 
for ex-cheerleaders and ex-football stars 
from your class. 

8. Become a Marine sergeant. Be 
tough on guys who look like jocks. 

9. Buy a team. Cut lots of players. 

10. Make a disaster movie about crum- 
bling high school buildings. 


“Let me see that. I doubt that she asked 
if your uncle makes good onions." 


Who's Who of High School 
Status Groups 


Alice Cooper 
James Dickey 
Bill Graham 
Dennis Hopper 
Arthur Miller 
Robert Redford 
Jason Robards 
John Wayne 


Johnny 
John Den 
Kirk Douglas 
Charlton Heston 
It Robertson 
Katharine Ross 
Naomi Sims 
Robert Young 


Cheerleaders 
Dyan Cannon 
Eydie Gormé 
Vicki Lawrence 
Ann-Margret 
Eleanor McGovern 
Cybill Shepherd 
ane: 


Lily Tomlin 
Raquel Welch 


Dennis Hopper 
nkletter 

nor McGovern 

George McGovern 

Richard Nixon 

John Wayne 

Wm. Westmoreland 


Student 
Government 
Warren Beatty 
James Caan 
Johnny Carson 
Peter Falk 
Hugh Hefner 
Bowie Kuhn 
Ali MacGraw 
Bette Midler 
Ed Muskie 

Pat Paulsen 
Philip Roth 
John Updike 
John Wayne 


Newspaper 
Steve Allen 
Alice Cooper 
Howard Coscll 
Hugh Hefner 
Ann Landers 
Philip Roth 
Jerry Rubin 


John Updike 
‘Abigail Van Buren 
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. 


Yearbook 
Steve Allen 
Hugh Hefner 


Honor Roll 
William O. Douglas 
Betty Fric 
Henry 
Ann Landers 

t kletier 
Shirley MacLaine 
Eleanor McGovern 
George McGovern 
William Proxmire 
Rex Reed 

Barbra Streisand 

il Van Buren 


ger 


Hoody 

Merle Haggard 
George Lucas 
Michael Parks 
Elvis Presley 
Robert Redford 


Frank Zappa 


Dis-Honor Koll 
Woody Allen 
Bob Haldeman 
Michael Landan 
Arthur Miller 
Gregory Peck 

rl 


Wallflowers 
(self-described) 


Erma Bombeck 


Lauren Hutton 
Ali MacGraw 


Pep Club 
Johnny Carson 


Class Clown 
Steve Allen 
Johnny Carson 
Dustin Hoffman 
Bette Midler 
Carrie Snodgress 
Jonathan Winters 


g — 
ing. 
ghd [ree again ^ 


The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous toYour Health. 


PLAYBOY 


164 planation of this lies 


Again you have to pee?” 


George McGovern 


life after high school 


for student-body president, 
McGovern 


972 opponent George 
Iso have been struggl 
the caption under his yearbook picture, 
which ri or a debater, he's a ni 
kid" A shy i igh school, the 
future Senator went on to be elected 


could 


rovert in H 


president of his cl 
four in college, McGovern 
B 


ass three years out of 
so admits 
in civilian pilot train- 
ing in college, then becoming a bomber 
pilot during World War Two was in no 
small part to refute the taunt of a high 
school gym t 
coward, “Tha 
thing 
South Dakota Senator rei 


that enrolling 


acher who'd called him a 
ny- 
nybody has ever said to me,” the 
all 


cut me more tl 


Franklin Roosevelt 
In his biography of Franklin Roose- 
velt, who did not do well at Groton (“I 
the 


always felt hopelessly out of things 
Pre 


pothesized that those who did do well 


nt recalled), John Gunther hy- 


were rote steppers who marched off into 


tion. "As a m 


ter 


obscurity after gradu 


of fact," writes 


nther, “the boys who 


were the best ‘Groities’ usually turned 


out to be nonentities later; boys who 


hated Groton did much better, The ex- 


the fact thar 


the boys who became successes w 
conformists: hence, they were 
excluded from the compact group that 
le the core of A great 
ny people, even induding Presidents, 


ach class. . 


have overcompensated in later life for 
slights and slurs undergone in school 
days. 
Jerry Ford 
In his inaugural speech before Con- 
gress, President Gerald Ford made a 
confession. 


“1 am here to confess," said Ford, “that 
aign for president—ol 
my senior class at South. High. School in 
p Michigan—1 headed the 
ket and lost. 


a Re- 
publ 

In Washington, Willi 
ched the President's televised confes- 
sion with consteration. "I was amazed,” 
Schuiling recalls, "absolutely amazed 
that this little incident would be any part 
ol his mind." 

Schuiling is the man who beat Fi 
in high school. Schuiling today is an in- 
vestment banker. His office is within view 
of the White House. On one wall, Ford’s 
picture is inscribed, “With appreciation 
for our long and close friendship." Be. 
long after Ford's 
ing gave his version of their 
nd Rapids 46 years earl 


m J. Schuiling 


ncath this picture, 


speech, Schu 


contest 


“You see,” he said, “Jerry had a few 
close friends, while 1 had man 
friendly acquaintances.” The 
leaned back, hands clasped behi 
head. “So I thought my root system w 
stronger than his.” 

Unlike his opponent, Schuiling was 
not an athlete. His constituency came 
from places like the Y Club and Zoo- 
logical Society—some of whose members 
got together with him [oi 
planning picnic in the fall of 19 

Lei see, there was Thad Willi 
Schuiling ticked off on his fingers. “And 
k her name was Carol Tully. 
isbury 

“That evening, while roasting our 
wienies, and so forth"—Schuiling raised 
his palm in the air—"No beer! That was 
unthinkable! We thought we 
g: lvantage by imme 
ing the name of the Republi 
the reason being that we were from a Re- 
public: 


would 


na 


n community. 
left Jerry at a d 


vantage 
picked the name of the Progres- 
Party. Now, the Republican Party 
platform seems rather trite today, but it 
was very important then." Schuil 
paused, with a sheepish gri 

What was it? 

“Rings and pins before Christmas. 

“You see, we were 
thought this would be a way of encourag. 
ing our parents to buy our rings and 
pins for us for Christmas. Very few of 
us had rings, so we were very anxious to 
get them." 

On that platform, and with the added 
promise of two dances and a spring pic 
nic, Schuiling's Republicans beat Ford's 
Pro 


seniors and 


we 


ssives 
But I don't think the best man won," 
Schuiling was quick to add. "I just out- 
ed him. I got to more of the, the. 
uh"—the banker pondered his words. 
“The student who was not involved in 
many things, who liked some attention— 
and Lthink they ri ed that the Varsity 
Club would not be appointed committee. 
chairman and that they would all have 
an opportunity to parti 
Did that happe 
Yessir! Yessir! 
How did Ford take the def 
"Well he was the first one over 
congratulate me. But apparently it ma 
ag impression on him, because he 
mentions it from time to time. And I 
don't believe ever in the history of an 
inaugural was such an insignificant per- 
sonal situation brought out. 
Do you remember by how much you 
won? 
"Yes, I do.” Schuiling leaned over his 
desk. "But Fm not gonna tell you. Be. 
it was a very, very comfortable 


margin 
Do you remember the 
ae 


tual count? 
uh." His voice rose. "It was a very 


What other outrageous luxury costs $12.00? 


PLAYBOY 


166 


comfortable margin. You'll just have to 
go ask the President and get the figure, 
is! 


ls it something you've remembered 
over the years or did you look it up? 

“Oh, I didn't have to look it up. It's 
a figure that just stuck with me for 
some reason.” 


Kissinger 


The young Henry Kissinger is recalled 
“What 


by one classmate as “a little fatso 
you have to remember about H 
1 of our Secre 
is that he's the creep nobody 
would ever cat lunch with.” 


MATCH THE DESCRIPTIONS 


Directions: Below are descriptions of 
prominent people who have appeared 
in the press. Following cach is a list of 
possibilities for the person so described. 
Select the person actually described. 

1. "She was prety and blonde and 
energetic and, as we used to say in high 
school, popu 

A. Jacqueline Onassis 
B. Phyllis Diller 

C. Alice Cooper 

D. Barbara Howar 

2. "She was not beautiful in either 
the hip-swinging or prom-queen sense.” 

A. Mai Monroe 


3. “Onstage she sometimes projects the 
air of a spoiled, slightly heartless prom 
queen.” 


A. Lily Tomlin 
B. Karen Carpenter 
C. Moms Mabley 
D. Gloria Steinem 
4. "In many ways, she reminds you 
of the girl you necked with in the back 
seat after Friday-night high school foot- 
ball games.” 
A. Ingrid Superstar (Andy Warhols 
stable) 
B. Dale 
C. Julie Eisenhower 
D. Indira Gandhi 
5. "She has the waggish 
Norman Rockwell cheerleader. 
A. Bella Abzug 
B. Chris Evert 
C. Cybill Shepherd 
D. Bette Midler 
6. “Her style is pretty much what you 
might expect from the giddiest girl in 
the Hth 


hs 


e was the 

how, without being fat. 
A. Orson Welles 
B. Gerald Ford 
C. Richard Nixon 
D. Robert Redford 


Fat Boy, some- 


8. "He looks like the well-bred right 
guard on some winning high school 
football team.” 


C. Fran Tarkenton 

D. Woody Allen 
10. “At 50 fhe] is the same gawky, 
overgrown Irish bookworm-turncd-class- 


clown.” 

A. Carroll O'Connor 

B. Don Rickles 

C. William Westmoreland 

D. Steve Allen 

11. "[His] mustache looks perennially 

like a paste-on job for a role in the high 
school operetta." 

A. Burt Reynolds 

B. Senator Hugh Scott 


igh school 
nodded’ to the subjects 
and forth before his 


back 


trotting 
throne.” 
A. Henry VIII 
B. Abbie Hoffman 
C. Buck Owens 
D. Lyndon Johnson 
ANSWERS 


Status on My Mind. 
Mid-Term Exam 


Directions: A list of social situations 
follows. Some contribute to one's status 
in high school; others don't. Indicate 
ns that are high status with a T 
ne, those that are low status with 
for False. 

Show up at the most popular 

amburger drive-in with your 

parents at ten P.M. on a Satur- 
day night. 

— Be put in charge of yearbook 

icture captions. 

get your locker combina- 
tion so a janitor has to open 
it as the halls fill up between 
classes. 

4. — Arrive late to class often, but 
always with a flurry and a 
comment that makes the class. 
laugh and the teacher smil 

5. . Your mother is elected. presi- 
dent of the P. 

6. . When you 
class, a bi 
is clearly visible around the 
armpit. 

ff Play piccol the band. 

8. On slave day, bidding is loud 
and Jong when you come on 
the block. 

9. .. When not at McDonald's, al- 
ways sit at the crowded second. 


table from the northwest cor- 

ner of the cafeteria. 

Consistently be seated in class 

several minutes before the bell 

rings. 

1l. Break your leg skiing and 

round school for a 
month in a cast covered with 
autographs. 

12__Farn a letter sweater, but wear 
it only occasionally. 

13. . Carry a briefcase, usually fat 
with papers, in the hallways. 


10. 


1. Show up late to an important. 
party. 
15. Make Honor Society your 


junior year. 

16. Kide your bike to school and 
park it next to the main door 
as the first bell rings and your 
classmates stream in. 

17. . When you cruise the drive-in 
on Saturday night, there's lots 
of honking and waving. 

18. A girl with a small gold mega- 
phone hanging around her 
neck asks for an answer on a 
test and you refuse because “it 
would he wrong." 

19. . Be assigned to IIR English, 
the R standing for Remedial. 

20. . Tan flakes of Clearasil fall 
from your face to the floor as 
you walk down the hallway. 


Special Status Section for Women Only 


30 AA 

— — pierced cars 

klets 

imere sweater 

A rumor circulates that you 
went all the way. 


Special Status Section for Men Only 


our letter reads MCR. 
57 Chevy 

Chess Club. 

chest hair 

ture Farmers 


ANSWERS 


Women Only 
F; 2. F; 3. F; 4. T; 5. F. 
Men Only 
T2185. PI R 


SEX IN HIGH SCHOOL 


“A cock teaser for sure.” 

That is how one woman describes her- 
self and fellow cheerleaders at a South- 
western high school in the mid-Sixties. 

"Wc knew damn well what we were 
doing with those crotch shots,” she ex- 
plains. “The cunt shots, the kicks— 
we really dug that. We made up so 
many cheers to expose ourselves. We all 


pw Crown’ 


"OK, kid. This one's got a patriotic theme— 
she's the Statue of Liberty, and as each guy 
gets off the boat, she turns him on!” 


PLAYBOY 


168 


knew. We didn't admit it, but everybody 
who could put in a kick or show their 
ss in a cheer they made up, it was im- 
nd accepted. 


mediatcly giggled ov 


your skirt, it's like you're a big fucking 
age. But it’s like ‘I'm pure be- 
cause I'm here in a sweater." 

“It's cock teasing.” 

The woman saying this has since 


porno films. With her is a former 
cheerleader from Minneapolis who also 
acts erotically d onstiige. 
"The two agree that exhibitionism linked 
their pre- and postgraduate careers, ex- 
hibitionism and a taste for crowd control. 


movies 


(Interestingly, the male cheerleader's 
background checked out; the female's 
didn't.) 

Breasts, of course, were the focal if not 
the only point of female comp: 
Breast size medium of ex 
change, the gold to which all other cur- 
rency was relative, And woe to the pauper 
with but two small nuggets. 

Yer, whi 


extreme were binding their chests 
desperate effort to squelch an abund 
of riches. High school is simply not a 
time when you want to stand out in any 
way. Aci Dyan Cannon recalls he- 
ing so embarrassed by a forward-looking 


“Please don’t mistake us for drug addicts, sir. 
We're mugging our way through college.” 


bosom that she stuffed oranges in her 
bra at night, hoping to hold down the 
swelling. 

“You should havc scen me when 1 was 
in high school,” she said to an inter- 
viewer. “My breasts used to be absolutely 
huge. Really vim vam voom. I used to go 
around the house with oranges in my f 
to make them flatter. I was so ashamed of 
them. I wished they wouldn't stick out 
so much. I walked slouched over all the 
time so they wouldn't look so big, 


NICKNAMES 


In so status-conscious an en 
even something as innocent 
takes on desperate sign 
barometer of one’s social 

In the first place, you to count 
enough to be given a nickname. A nick 
name means you're noticed. It means 
you're included. 

An innocent question asked of a 
variety of people, “Did you have a nick- 
name in high school?” most commonly 
provoked the response: “No, but I would 


ause | thought that 
ke me scem more 
popular. Consequently, I went around 
giving nicknames to everyone else in 
hopes someone would give me one, but 
no one ever did 

A nickname is not something you can 
give yourself. Others must bestow it upon 
you. Even a nickname you don't care for 
means classmates have recognized your 
presence, which isn’t a bad thing to have 
recognized. 

Those lucky enough to have nickname 
status could rely on this as a subtle but 
accurate gauge of status and its evolving 
nature. 

Raquel Welch, for example, as a young 
teenager was known as Birdlegs because 
of her long, skinny legs. In high school, 
this was first changed to Rocky, then to 
Hotrocks—“alter the equipment arrived.” 

Burt Reynolds says his home nic 
Buddy got changed to Greaseb: 
Mullet by classmates, in recogni 
his Ital ian origins 
to Buddy after he beg 
Some other childhood 
called by celebrities include: 

Burt Bacharach—Happy 
Bradley—Long Tom 


nicknames re- 


Mel Brooks—The Shadow 

Dyan Cannon—Frosty 

Julie Christie—s.0. (Show-Olf) anc 
Bugs 


lice Cooper—Muscles McNasal 
cis Ford Coppola—Science 

m O. Douglas Peanuts 

rrow— Mouse 

rd— Junie (for Junior) 

m Grier—Hawk 

Hayes— Bubba 

Dustin Holfman— Dustbin 

Lauren Hutton—The Yellow Wax Bean 


HIRAM - 


WALKER 
L MEN 
And talk to each other. z Ws 
It's one of life's best moments. A 
And when you take ten, take fen. 488 
It's smooth enough for her...with 


the true bourbon flavor you like. 

Sotry some. 2m 
Ten High's value has made it 4 

America’s third best- E 


selling bourbon. Á 


STRAIGHT BOURBON 
WHISKEY 

„ Aude. 
ore, Hines 


80 PROOF 


©1976 Hiram Walker & Sons, Inc., Peoria, il. — 3 


Meet the Monster 


Panasonic introduces a high-power car stereo. With hi-fi 
features and sound that will blow your mind. 


You know how monsters 
are. Big. Powerful. And full 
of fiendishly clever devices. 

This new 8-track stereo 
tape player with FM stereo 
radio from Panasonic is no exception. 

It's big. (Measures an impressive 9-7/16" 
wide, 2-9/16" high, and 7-7/16" deep.) 

It's powerful. (Zaps out 10 watts of juice 
per channel minimum RMS into 8 ohms from 
50 Hz to 12 KHz.) 

And just look at all these devices: 

1. Separate controls for bass and treble. So 
you can adjust for the exact sound and tone you 
want to hear. 

2. A Volume Unit (VU) meter. To let you 
keep tabs on signal strength. 

3. Cartridge door dial. The radio dial flips 
up as you insert tape cartridges, flips down again 
for radio tuning. 

And there's still a lot more. 

The Monster has built-in AFC to keep FM 
signals from drifting. An indicator light that 
glows when FM stations are broadcasting in 


OE 


è 


NEN stereo. And a Distant 
= M Local switch that helps 
2 | the Monster suck in 
stations loud and clear 
from miles away. 
The Monster won't be happy with puny 
little speakers. So here's a sound suggestion: 
Mate the Monster with Panasonic speakers 
Panasonic recommends our hefty, 8-ohm 
EAB-755's. They're 6-inches big. High 
compliance. And cloth-edged. So they can 
handle all the power the Monster puts out. 
Get the big 
car stereo sound 
you've always 
wanted. Meet 
the Monster. At 
your Panasonic 
dealer. Or write 
Car Audio Dept., PANASONIC COMPANY, 
One Panasonic Way, Secaucus, New Jersey 07094. 
- 
asonic 


just slightly ahead of our time 


DALY 


(continued from page 146) 
treated her most cruelly; he frightened 
her in the hospital cafeteria by handing 
her a milk glass half-full of a cloud 
viscous substance. “Sperm,” he said, nod- 
ding to the glass. “All that’s one shot; I 
don’t mess around. It onc chance is all 
anyone gets, I'm your man." Jenny held 
up the horrid glass and inspected it 
coolly. God knows what was actually in 
the glass. "Don't dri * the nurse's 
boyfriend said. “Tha t an indica- 
tion of what kind of stuff I've got. Lots 
of seeds,” he added, g g. Jenny 
poured the contents of the gl 
potted plant. 

“I want a baby," she 
want to start a sperm farm. 
Jenny knew this was g 


ng to be hard; 
she learned to take a ribbing and she 
learned to respond in kind. 

So they decided Jenny Fields was aude, 


that she was going too far; a joke was a 
joke, but Jenny neither took them serious- 
ly nor offered them any humor of her own. 
She was just determined about it; cither 
she was sticking to her guns, just to be 
stubborn, or, worse, she really meant it. 
Her hospital colleagues couldn't make 
her Jaugh and they couldn't get her 10 
bed. As Garp wrote of his mother's di- 
Her colleagues detected that she 
felt herself superior to them. Nobody's 
colleagues a 

So they initiated a gettough policy 
with Jenny. It was a staff decision for 
her own good,” of course. They decided 
way from the babies and 
She's got babies on her 
they said. No more obstetrics for 
Ids: 


a head. 

So they separated Jenny from the 
mothers and their babies. She's a good 
nurse, they all said; let her try some in- 
tensive care. It was their experience that 
a nurse in the intensivecare unit quick- 
ly lost interest in her own problems. Of 
course, Jenny knew why they had sent 
her away from the babies; she only re- 
sented that they thought so Jittle of her 
self-control. Because what she wanted 
Was strange to them, they assumed she 
had slim restraint. There is no logic to 
people, Jenny thought. There was lots 
of time to get pregnant, she knew. She 
in no hurry. Jt was just part of an 
eventual plan. 

Now there was a war. In 
care, she saw a little more of it 
Service hospitals sent them their special 
cases, and there were always the terminal 
patients, There were the usual, elderly 
cases, hanging by the usual threads; there 
were the usual industrial accidents, and 
automobile accidents, and the terrible 
accidents to children. But mainly there 


Shell love you for it! 


Bring your partner in touch with her whole 
range of sensual feelings... Prelude 2, 
"the sensual awakener" helps you turn 
her on in ways you never thought possible 
What a creative gift for a special friend! 

OUI Magazine says, “For women 
who want instant orgasm, it's the best 
product on the market.” Many doctors 
recommend Prelude 2 for women who wish 
1o attain—or intensily—orgasms. Our Spe- 
cial Stimulator was developed in conjunction 
with Dr. Wardell Pomeroy, co-author of The 
Kinsey Report. It is hygienic. safe & effective. 
Nothing to insert or harm delicate tissues. 
Noiseless for discreet use. 

Your Prelude 2 Set contains: 
* The main electric vibrator unit Uses stan- 
dard outlet. (Needs no batteries.) 
* The Special Stimulator unique to Prelude 
2. for intense clitoral stimulation. 
© Explicit, beautifully illustrated 16-page 


qurn her on with Prelude 2°. 


explore and extend the limits of sexual 
experience. 
© Four more massage attachments to 
relax and stimulate both of you. 

Today's woman is ready to explore her 
full sensual potential. Prelude 2 can help! 


What's in it for you? A lot more fun & loving! 


“How To" Booklet describing ways to 


30-DAY MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE. NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 


MAIL COUPON TODAY 


Sensory Research Corp. Dept. APB-06 
5 Lawrence Street, Bloomfield, N.J. 07003 


Please send. Frelude 2s) @ $24.95 ea., postpaid 
Lenclose C Check or C Money Order for $. 
D) BankAmencard C) Master Charge 


Charge my Account No. ũ— 


Name. 


Address — 


ci — Zip 
Outside Continental U.S, please add $1.50 far shipping In N. add 5% sales tax. 


The Ribbed Condom 


765 Tiny Ribs For The Extra Contact A Woman Wants. 


Now you can reach a level of sexual 
pleasure that only months ago was unheard 
of. Acondom delicately ribbed to give a 
woman gentle, urging sensations. Yet, with a 
shape and thinness that let a man feel almost 
like hes wearing nothing at all. 

Made with a new "nude" latex that 
transmits body heat instantaneously. Stimula* 

supremely sensitive. It's anatomically 
shaped to cling to the penis. And SK-70, a 
remarkable silicone lubricant works with 
natural secretions so Stimula s scientifically 
patterned ribs can massage and caress a 
woman effortlessly. 

Made by the world's largest 
manufacturer of condoms. a million 
have already been sold in Sweden and 
France. Send for your sample today. 


The Stimula Condom 


Stamford Hygienics Inc.. Dept. PB-21 
113 Manhattan Stre 
Stamford, Conn. 069 


Please send me: (Check Box) 


O S4sampler of 12 Stimula 
E] Sàsampler of 3 each of 5 erotic condoms 
1825 super sampler of 120 condoms 


Froo catalog sent with order. 
check —LlCash OMO. Enclosed 


r 


168 


PLAYBOY 


170 


were soldiers; what happened to them 
was no accident. 

Jenny made her own divisions among 
the nonaccidents that happened to the 
sol he came up with her own cate- 
gories for them. One, there were the men 
who'd been burned; for the most part, 
they'd been burned on board ship (the 
most complicated cases from Chelsea 
Naval), but they'd also been burned in 
airplanes and on the ground. Jenny 
called them the Externals. Two, there 
were the men who'd been shot or dam- 
aged in bad places; internally, they were 
in trouble, and Jenny called them the 
Vital Organs. Three, there were the men 
whose injuries seemed almost mystical to 
Jenny; they were the men who weren't 
“there” anymore, whose heads or s| 
had been tampered with. Sometimes they 
were paralyzed, sometimes they were 
merely vague. Jenny called them the 
Absentees. Occasionally, one of these had 
External or Vital Organ damage as well; 
all the hospital had a name for them; 
four, they were Goners. 

“My father,” Garp wrote, "was a 
Goner. From my mother’s point of view, 
that must have made him very attrac- 
tive.” No strings attached. 

Garp's father was a ball turret gunner 
who had had a nonaccident in the air 
over France. 

“My mother was a stickler for detail,” 
Garp wrote. 

When they would bring in a new 


casualty, Jenny was the first to ask the 
appened, And Jenny 


doctor how it had 


classified them, sil 
the Vital Org; 
Goners. 


And shc d little 


sters. Private 1258 pp off his 
nsign Potter stopped a whopper, 
Corporal. lost his testes, Captain 
Flynn has no skin, Major Longlcllow is 
short on answers. 

Sergeant Garp was a mystery. On his 
35th flight over France, the little ball- 
turret gunner stopped shooting. The pi- 
lot noticed the absence of machine- 
fire from the turret and thou 
that Garp had taken a hit. If he had, the 
pilot had not felt it in the belly of his 
plane. He hoped Garp hadn't felt it 
much, either, When the plane landed, 
the pilot went to have a look at p- 
By the time he got back to the ball tur- 
ret, quite a number of people had gath- 
ered to look at Garp. 

Upside down in the ball turret, the 
tiny technical sergeant was playing with 
himself. For such a small man, he med 
to have an especially large erection, but 
he fumbled with it only a little more ex- 
pertly than a child—not nearly so ex- 
pertly as a monkey in the zoo. Like the 
monkey, however, Garp looked out of 
his glass cage and stared frankly into 
the faces of the human beings who were 
watching him; like the monkey, he 
seemed quite comfortable upside down. 


/ di uu 
TAS. CREL 


* Let's forget the foreplay—my finger is still 
sore from plugging up that dike.” 


“Garp?” the pilot said. Garp's fore 
head was freckled with blood that 
mostly dry, but his flight cap was plas- 
tered to the top of his head and drip- 

d there. didn't seem to be a mark 
arp!” the pilot shouted at 

. There was a hole in the Plexiglas 
bubble where the .50-caliber machine 
guns had been; it appeared that some 
flak had hit the barrels of the guns. pos- 
sibly exploding the gun housing 
even shatt 
there w: 


“Garp?” said Garp. He was mir 
the pilot, like a smart crow. “Gary 
Garp, as if he had just learned the word. 
The pilot nodded to Garp, encouraging 


; he seemed to think this 
was how people greeted each other. Not 
Hello, Hello—but Garp, G: 
“Jesus, Garp,” the pilot said. Garp 
still had his goggles on and when the 
pilot able to climb near him, he 
gently pulled them off. A fine dust of 
Plexiglas was all over Garp's face, but 
the goggles had protected his eyes from 
Something was wrong with 
though. because they rolled 
around independently of each other, and 
the pilot thought that the world, for 
Garp, was probably looming then 
going by, then looming up again—if 
Garp could see at all. What the pilot 
couldn't know, at the time, that 
some sharp and slender shards from the 
flak blast had damaged one of the oculo- 
motor nerves in Garp's brain, aud other 
parts of his br: as well. The oculo- 
motor nerve consists chiefly of motor 
fibers that innervate most of the muscles 
of the eyeball. As for the rest of Garp's 
brain, it had received some cuts and 
slashes a little like a prefrontal lobot- 
omy—though it was rather careless 
surgery. 
he pilot had a great fear of how 
carelessly a lobotomy had been per- 
formed on Sergeant Garp and, for that 
son, he thought st taking off the 
blood-sodden flight cap. The pilot actu- 
ally feared that if he took off the flight 
cap, what remained of Garp's brain 
might fall out. 
arp said to the pilot, trying 


up, 


his new word. 

“Garp.” the pilot confirmed; Garp 
seemed pleased. He had both his little 
hands on his impressive crection when 
he successfully masturbated. 

“Garp!” he barked: there was joy in 
his voice but also surprise. He rolled his 
eyes at his audience, begging the world 
to loom up and hold still. He was un- 
sure of what he'd done, “Garp?” he 
asked doubtfully. 

The pilot patted his arm and nodded 


IF YOU HAVE 
YOUR HAIR 
STYLED ON 
FRIDAY 


“Hairs to You.’ Don't go buy it. It's free for the asking at any RK 
;arber stylist. And for a selfish reason 

When you spend money for professional styling, it's sim- 
ply good business that we help you keep the look we've created 
between visits 
“Hairs to You" doesjustthat. Step by step it explains how, 
and how often, to shampoo. The professional way to use a blow 
dryer to restore that just-styled look without damaging your hair. 
The easy way to keep the look despite wind and weather. And 
he tools you need to do the job right. 

Comeintoday and pick up yourfree copy off this display 
stand. You'll see it at the RK barber stylist near you. No obliga- 
tion — except to your own good grooming 


PLAYBOY 


172 


20 FILTER CIGARETTES] 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has 


Determined That Cigarette Smoking 


Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


Fiter: 20 mg. tar 15 mg. nicotine 
av. per cipere by FIC method. 


to the others of the flight and landing 
crew: Let's give a little support to the 
sergeant, men; please, lets make him 
fecl at home. And the men, respectfully 
dumb-struck by Garp’s ejaculation, all 
said, “Garp! Garp! Garp!” to him—a 
reassuring, scallike chorus intent on put- 
ting Garp at case. 

Garp nodded happily, but the pilot 
held his arm and whispered anxiously to 
him: “No, don't move your head, OK? 
Garp? Please don’t move your head.” 
Garp's cyes roamed past the pilot and the 
pilot waited for them to come around 
again. “Easy does it, Garp,” he whispered. 
"Just sit tight, OK 

Garp's face radiated pure peace. With 
both hands holding his dying erection, 
the little sergeant looked as if he knew 
he had done just the thing that the situ- 
ation called for. 

They could do nothing for Sergeant 
Garp in England. He was lucky to have 
been brought home to Boston long be- 
fore the end of the war. Some Senator 
was responsible. The U. S. Navy had been 
accused of transporting wounded Serv. 
icemen back home only if they 
from wealthy and important Ame 
families. In an effort to quell such a 
rumor, which was damaging to the war 
cliort, the Senator claimed that if any 
of the severely wounded were lucky 
cnough to get back to America, “even 
an orphan would get to make the trip— 
just like anyone else.” There was thei 
some scurrying around to come up with 
a wounded orphan—to prove the Sen- 
ator’s point—but they came up with a 
perfect person to enliven military mo- 
rale. Not only was Technical Sergeant 
Garp an orphan, he was an idiot with a 
one-word vocabulary, so he was not com- 
plaining to the press. And in all the pho- 
tographs they took, gunner Garp was 
smiling, 


When the drooling sergeant was 
brought to Boston, Jenny Fields had 
trouble categorizing him. He was dearly 
an Absentee, more docile than a child, 
but she wasn't sure how much else was 
wrong with him. 

Hello, how are you?” she asked him, 
when they wheeled him into the ward. 

“Garp!” he barked, smiling. His 
hands were wrapped in gauze mittens, 
the result of Garp's playing in an acciden- 
tal fire that broke out in the hospital comm. 
pound on board his transport ship. He'd 
seen the flames and reached out his 
hands to them, spreading some of the 
flames up to his face; he'd singed off his 
cyebrows. He looked to Jenny a little 
like a shaved owl. 

With the burns, Garp was an Exter- 
nal and an Absentee all at once. Also, 
with his hands so heavily bandaged, he 
had lost the ability to masturbate, an 
activity that his papers said he pursued 


frequently and successfully—and with- 
out any self-consciousness. 

observed him closely. since his accident 
with the fire, feared that the childish 
little gunner was becoming depressed— 
his one adult pleasure taken from bim, 
at least until his hands healed. 

It was posible, of course, that G 
had Vital Oigan damage as well. Many 
fragments had entered his head; many 
of them were too delicately located. to 
remove. Garp's brain damage might not 
stop with his crude lobotomy; his in- 
ternal destruction could be progressing. 

There'd been a patient before Garp 
whose head had been similarly penetrat- 
ed. He'd been fine for months, just talk 
ing to himself and occasionally peeing 
his bed. Then he started to lose his body 
hair and he had trouble completing his 
sentences. Just before he died, he began to 
develop breasts. 

Given the evidence, the shadows (the 
white needles) in the X rays, gunner Garp 
was probably a Goner. But to Jenny Fields 
he looked very nice, A small, neat man, the 
former ball-turret gunner was as innocent 
and straightforward in his demands as a 
three-year-old, He cried “Garp!” when he 
was hungry and “Garp!” when he was 
glad; he asked “Garp?” when something 
puzzled him or when addressing strangers, 
and he said “Garp” without the question 
mark when he recognized you. He usually 
did what he was told, but he couldn’t be 
trusted; he forgot casily, and if one time 
he was as obedient as a six-year-old, an- 
other time he was as mindlessly curious 
as if he were one and a half. 

His depressions, which were well docu- 
mented in his transport papers, secmed 
to occur simultaneously with his crec- 
tions; at those moments, he would clamp. 
his poor, grown-up part between his 
gauzy, mittened hands and weep. He 
wept because the gauze didn't feel as 
good as his short memory of his bands, 
and also because it hurt his hands to 
touch anything. It was then that Jenny 
Fields would sit with him. She would rub 
his back between his shoulder blades until 
he tipped back his head and half-shut 
his eyes, like a cat, and she'd talk to him 
all the while, her voice friendly and full 
of exciting shifts of accent. Most nurses 
droned to their patients, a steady, 
changeless voice intent on producing 
sleep, but Jenny knew that it wasn't 
sleep Garp needed. He was bored, he 
needed adventure, some action—so Jen 
ny entertained him. She also played the 
radio for him, but some of the programs 
upset Garp: no one knew why. Other 
programs gave him terrific erections, 
which led to his depressions, and so on. 
One program, just once, gave Garp a 
wet dream, which so surprised and 
pleased him that he was always eager to 
see the radio. But Jenny couldn't find 
the program, she couldn't repeat the 
performance. She knew that if she could 


Those who'd 


plug poor Garp into the wet-dream pro- 
gram, her job and his life would be much 
happier, but it wasn't that easy. 

She gave up trying to teach him an- 
other word. When she fed him and she 
saw that he liked what he was eating 
she'd say, "Good! Thats good. 

"Garp!" he'd agre 

And when he spat out food on his 
bib and made a terrible face, she'd say, 
"Bad! That stuff's bad, right?” 
wp!” he'd gag. 

The first sign Jenny had of his de 
lerioration was when he seemed to lose 
the G. One morning he greeted her with 
an “Arp.” 

“Garp.” she said to him. 

“Arp,” he said. She knew 
ing him. 

Daily, he seemed to grow younger. 
When he slept, he kneaded the air with 
his wriggling fists, his lips puck 
cheeks sucking, his cyelids trembling. 
y had spent a lot of time around 
she knew that the ball-turret gun- 
ner was nursing in his dreams, For a 
while, she contemplated stealing a. paci- 
ficr from Maternity, but she stayed away 
from that place now; the jokes irritated 
her ("Here's Virgin Mary Jenny, swip- 
ing a phony nipple for her child. Who's 
the lucky father, Jenny?’). She watched 
Sergeant Garp suckle in his sleep and 
wied to imagine that his ultimate ro 
gression would be peaceful, that he 
would turn into his fetus phase and no 
longer breathe through his lungs; that 
his personality would blissfully separate, 
half of him turning to dreams of an 
egg, half of him to dreams of sperm. Fi- 
nally, he simply wouldu't be anymore. 

It was almost like that. Garp’s nursing 
phase became so severe that he seemed 
to wake up like a child on a four-hour 
feeding schedule; he even cried like a 
baby, his face scarlet, his eyes springing 
tears in an instant, and in an instant 
being pacificd—by the radio, by Jenny's 
voice. Once, when she rubbed his back, 
he burped. Jenny burst into tears. She sat 
at his bedside wishing him a swift painless 
journey hack into the womb and beyond. 

If only his hands would heal, she 
thought. ‘Then he could suck his thumb. 


When he woke from his suckling 
dreams, hungry to nurse, or so he imag- 


ined, Jenny would put her own finger to 
his mouth and let his lips tug at her. 

1 he had real, grown-up teeth, in 
toothless and he never 
s this observation that led 


where he sucked inen! 
didn’t seem to mind that th 
ing to be had there. Jenny thought that 
if he kept musing at her, she would have 
milk; she felt such a firm tugging in her 
womb, which was both maternal and 
sexual; her feelings were so vivid, she 
believed for a while that she could pos- 
sibly conceive a child simply by suckling 
the baby ball-turret gunner. 


It was almost like that. But gunner 
Garp was not all baby. One night, when 
he nursed at her, Jenny noticed that he 
had an erection which lifted the sheet; 
with his clumsy, bandaged hands he 
fanned himself, yelping frustration while 
he wolfed at her breast. And one night 
she helped him; with her cool, pow- 
dered hand, she took hold of him. At her 
breast. he stopped nursing, he just nuz- 
zled her. “Ar,” he moaned. He had lost 
the P. Once a Garp, then an Arp, now 
only an Ar; she knew he was dying. He 

1 just one vowel and one consonant 
left. When he came, she felt his shor 
wet and hot in her hand. Under the 
sheet, it smelled like a greenhouse in 
summer, absurdly fertile, growth gotten 
out of hand; you could plant anything 
there and it would blossom. Garp’s 
sperm struck Jenny that way: If you 
spilled a little in a greenhouse, babi 
would sprout out of the dirt. She gave 
the matter 24 hours of thought. 

“Garp?” Jenny whispered. She unbut- 
toned the blouse of her dress and 
brought forth the breasts she had always 
considered too large. she whi 
pered in his ear; his eyelids fluttered, his 
lips reached. Around them was a white 
shroud, a curtain on runners that en- 
closed them in the ward. On one side 
of Garp was an External, a flame-thrower 
victim, slippery with salve, swaddled in 
gauze. He had no cyelids, so it appeared 
he was always watching, but he was 
blind. Jenny took off her sturdy nurse's 
shoes, unfastened her white stockings, 
stepped out of her dress. She touched her 
finger to Garp’s lips. 

On the other side of Garp's white 
shrouded bed was a Vital Organ patient 
on his way to becoming an Absentee. 

ad lost most of his lower intestine 
rectum; now a kidney was giving 
him trouble and his liver was driving 
him crazy. He had terrible nightmares 
that he was being forced to urinate and 
defecate, though this was ancient his 
for him. He was actually quite u 
when he did those things, and he did 
them through tubes into rubber bags 
He groaned frequently and, unlike Garp, 
he groaned in whole words. “Shit,” he 
groaned. 
rp?" Jenny whispered. She stepped 
out of her slip and her panties; she took 
off her bra and pulled back the sheet. 

“Christ,” said the External, softly; | 
ips were blistered with burns. 

id the Vital Organ 


rp,” said Jenny. She took hold of 
his erection and straddled him. 

Aaa," said Garp. Even the R was 
gone. He was reduced to a vowel sound 
to express his joy or his sadness. “Aaa,” 
he said, as Jenny drew him inside her and 
sat on him with all her weight. 

“Garp?” she asked. "Good? That's 
good, Garp.” 
“Good,” he agreed, distinctly, But it 


20 FILTER CIGARETTES 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has 
Determined That Cigarette Smoking 
Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


173 


PLAYBOY 


174 


was only a word from his wrecked mem- 
ory, thrown clear for a moment when 
he came inside her. It was the first and 
last true word that Jenny Fields heard him 
good. As he shrank inside her and 
his vital stuff seeped from her and was 
warm on his belly, he was once again re- 
duced to “Aas”; he closed his eyes and 
slept. When Jenny offered him her breast, 
he wasn't hungry. 

“God,” cried the External, being very 
gentle with the D; his tongue had been 
burned, too. 

!" snarled the Vital Organ man. 

Jenny washed Garp and herself with 
warm water and soap from a lide white- 
enamel hospital bowl. She wasn't going 
to douche, of course, and she had no 
doubt that the magic had worked. She 
telt more receptive than prepared soil, 
the nourished earth, and she had felt 
Garp shoot up inside her as generously 
as à hose in summer (as if he could water 
a lawn). 

She never did it with him again. There 
was no reason; she didn’t particularly 
enjoy it. From time to time, she helped 
him with her hand, and when he cried 
for it, she gave him her breast; but in a 
few weeks, he had no more erections. 
When they took the bandages off his 
hands, even the healing process seemed 
to be arrested; they wrapped him back 
up again, He lost all interest in nursing. 
His dreams struck Jenny as the dreams a 
fish might have. He was back in the 
womb, Jenny knew; he resumed a fetal 
position, tucked up small in the center 


of the bed. He made no sound at all. 
One morning, when Jenny watched him 
Kick with his little, weak feet, she imag- 
ined she felt a kick inside. Though it 
was too soon for the real thing, she knew 
the real thing was on 

Soon Garp stopped kicking. He still 
got his oxygen by breathing air with his 
lungs but Jenny knew this was simply 
an example of human adaptability. He 
wouldn't eat; they had to feed him in- 
travenously, so once again he was at- 
tached to a kind of umbilical cord. 
Jenny anticipated his last phase with 
Some anxiousness. Would there be a strug- 
gle at the end, like the sperm's frantic 
struggle? Would the sperm shield be lifted 
and the naked egg wait, expectantly, for 
death? In little Garp's return trip, how 
would his soul at last divide? But the 
phase passed without Jenny's observa- 
tion. One day, when x was off duty, 
"Technical Sergeant. ied. 

“When else could he jc died?” Garp 
has written. “With my mother off duty 
was the only way he could escape.” 

“OF course. I felt something when he 
died,” Jenny wrote in her diary. 
best of him was inside me. That was 
the best thing for both of us, the only way 
he could go on living, the only way I 
wanted to have a child. That the rest of 
the world finds this an immoral act only 
shows me that the rest of the world doesn't 
respect the rights of an individual.” 

It was 1943. When Jenny's pregnancy 
was apparent, she lost her job. Of course, 


“First we'll learn about the birds and the bees, Susan! 
Then we'll worry about faking orgasms!” 


Jenny had long ago stopped trying to 
convince them of her purity. She moved 
through the big corridors in the parental 
estate at Dog's Head Harbor like a satis- 
fied ghost; her composure alarmed her 
family and they left her alone. Secretly, 
Jenny was quite happy, but with all the 
musing she must have done about this 
expected child, it’s a wonder she never 
gave a thought to names. 

Because when Jenny Fields gave birth 
to a ninc-pound baby boy, she had no 
name in mind. Jennys mother asked her 
what she wanted to name him, but Jenny 
had just delivered and had just received 
she was not cooperative. 


Her father thought she had burped, 
but her mother whispered to him: “The 


he said. They knew they 
might find out who the father was this 
way; Jenny, ok course, had not admitted 
a thing. 

“Find out if that's the son of a bitch's 
first name or last name,” Jenny's father 
whispered to Jenny's mother. 

“Is that a first name or a last name, 
dear?" Jennys mother asked her 

Jenny was very sleepy. “It’s Garp,” 
she said. “Just Garp; that’s the whole 
thing. 

"p th it's a last name,” 
mother tokd Jenny's father. 

“What's his first name?” her father 
asked crossly. 

"I never knew,” Jenny mumbled. That 
was true; she never did. 

“She never knew his first name!" her 
father roared. 

“Please, dear," her mother said. “He 
must have a first name.“ 

"Technical Sergeant 
Jenny Fields. 

“A goddamn soldier; I knew it!" her 
father said. 

“Technical Serges 
er asked her, 

"T. S," Jenny said. "T. S. Garp. 
"That's my baby's name." She fell asleep. 

Her father was furio "T. S. Garp!” 
he hollered. “What kind of name for a 
baby is that? 


Jennys 


Garp,” said 


* Jenny's moth- 


Jenny told him later. 
“It's his own goddamn name, all his 
own.” 

“It was great fun going to school with 
a name like that,” Garp has written. 
“The teachers would ask you what the 
ials stood for. I used to say that they 
e just initials, but they never be- 
lieved me. So I would say, "Call my 
mom. She'll tell you.’ And they would. 
And old Jenny would give them a piece 
of her mind.” 

"Thus was the world given T. S. Garp: 
born from a good nurse with a will of 
her own, and the seed of a ball-turret 
gunner—his last shot. 


Record them over and over again. 
The life of a Scotch* brand cassette 
is a long one. Even when you record 
on it time after time after time. 

Because there's a tough binder 
thatkeepsthe magneticcoatingfrom 
wearing off. So even after hundreds 
of replays or re-recordings, you get 
great sound quality. 

We wish you a long and happy 
life. ‘Cause you'll need it to keep up 
with your Scotch cassettes. 


Play them back without jamming. 
The life of a Scotch® brand cassette 
is a long one. Even when you play it 
time after time after time. 

Because there's a Posi-Trak* 
backing that helps prevent jamming 
and reduces wow and flutter. And 
the cassette shell is made with 
a plastic that can withstand 1509F. 

We wish you a long and happy 
life. ‘Cause you'll need it to keep up 
with your Scotch cassettes. 


Scotch Cassettes. 


They just might outlive you. 


175 


PLAYBOY 


176 


THE MOST SENSUOUS 


a Scandinavian bestseller. Com- 
ines all the best features of eo 
dornsintoonescnsaticnalcondemt 
Verben is unique because it is tex- 
tured to provide the maximum 
pleasure forborhof you Nacken's 
delicately ribbed surface gently 
mssagesthewoman while the con 
toured formis provides the great- 
est sensitiviey for the man. Join the 
Swedish revolution for the opt 
mum in pleasure. Nacken — he con~ 
dom fren’ 


ivelyby PPA. — ciem 


403 Jones Ferry Road, P.O. Box 400 
Carrboro, NC. 27510 


Pleacc send me: 

EJ Nacken (10 textured condoms) $5 25 
D) Premium Sampler ~ 30 condoms 
including textured Nacken $10 

Diustrated catalogue 256 

Name 

Address 

. — 

Al order rushed in a plain unmarked patag 
Sacy. Stisfcrion yuaeanteed complete refund 


Playboy's handsome cuff links with our 
Rabbit head in silvery rhodium. JYO427, 
$12" plus 50c shipping and handling. 
Send check to: 
Playboy Products. Dept. PP98 

919 NMichigan Ave.,Chicago,|II.60611. 


No C.O.D. orders. Playboy Club credit key- 
holders may charge (please include Key num- 
ber). “lil, residents—add 5% tax. 


CONDOMS BY MAIL! 
all nationally adverrised brands 


Imagine getting 100 condoms im a single package -by 
quif Population Planning, he most respected retailer ol 
brth control products, offers you the largest selection of 
men's contraceptives available anywhere in the country. 
including oil Trojan products, the popula textured Näcken 
{available only from PPA). Prota: NuForm, and 26 other 
rationally adverlised brands. Dur illustrated 20-page cat- 
alog offers non-prescription contraceptives for men and 
women. abrpeselecion of Looks on sex and brin conto, 
high styledclothingand much more 

ur famous condom sampler packages (S3 & S6) let you 
Ay top quality brands and choose for yoursell. Or or lan- 
tache savings why nol try the new “Super 100° sampler 
f 100 leading condoms, 27 brands (a $35 value for just 
$251) Here 15 our guarantee 1t you do mol agree that 
PA's sampler packages, ustraled catalog and overall 
service are the best available anywhere, we voll relund 
your money in full — no quest 


Population Plannire, Dept, Ber 8 
fa 


Jones Ferry Road, P-D. Box 400 


Carrboro, N.C, 

Gentlemen, please send in plain package 

C Sampler of 12 assorted condoms (4 different brands) 
plus catalog, $3 

D Deluxe Sampler of 19 assorted condoms (7 different 
brands including shins) plus catalog, S6 

O Super 100 Sampler of 100 assorted condoms (27 di 
derent brands) plus catalog. $25. 

D ifiustrated catalog atone (leatures condoms. clothes, 

books on sex and birth control and more), 288 

Name, 

Address. 


[77 State, dy. 


WORLD'S FASTEST CARNIVAL RIDE 

(continued from page 108) 
competitors, their imaginations would 
take control and make it impossible for 
them to continue. Physical courage relics, 
to a gr ent, on the ability to suspend. 
the imagi and sometimes this kind 
of control is transmitted to the outsider 
as callousness. I was standing a few feet 
away when Johnny Rutherford was in- 
after the death of his 


close friend Pollard. “It's too bad that 


you can't turn back the clock,” he said 
matter-of-factly. “Art was doing what he 
loved to do, and there's a risk we all 
take.” His statement seemed to echo 
ilkner's, that “The irrevocability of 
action is wagic" A few minutes later, 
Rutherlord went back out onto the track, 
qualified for the pole and set a new lap. 
record of 199.071 mph, a heroic effort 
that would have been impossible for 
n whose mind hadn't been totally on 
business. 


Saturday, May 3, 1975, and the track is 
supposed to officially open for pr 
but the sky is overcast and threatens 
Nobody expects any really hot laps the 
first day out and, with qualifications still 
a weck away, most of the top drivers 
haven't shown up. There are several 
rookics (highly experienced racers but 
new to Indianapolis) who must learn the 
track and turn ten observed laps within 
h of several speed brackets to pass 
their driver's test, and a few veterans, 
anxious to get back in the groove and 
check out thei The only real ques- 
tion on anyones mind is who will be 
the first driver onto the track. Being first 
out has no effect on qualifying or on the 
ace, but it, like everything else here, is 


E 
part of a tradition. It’s supposed to be a 
coup. It generates a good deal of pub- 


licity and publicity 
sors and sells their products. Its why 
torade and Surefine Foods and Jor- 
gensen Steel invest up to $300,000 to run 

n this race, the hope that their sponsor 
ship will generate millions of dollar 
worth of publicity, maybe even get a pic 
ture of their car—their billboard on 
whcels—on the cover of a national maga- 
e, the kind of advertising money alone 
n't buy. 

Dick Simon, a 42-year-old retired in- 
surance executive from Salt Lake City, 
wheels his car to the end of the pit lane, 
ready to go. Then a few drops of r: 
fall and his crew covers the car with 
plastic sheet. A band of Scottish pipe 
marches onto the track and the absurd- 
ly elaborate pageantry of May in Ine 
anapolis has begun. Every flower show, 
wash and tea party will append the label 
500 FESTIVAL 
dude a radi 
a bridge tournament, a “Dress Up Like 
Mom” parade, a “Look Like Your Favor- 
ite Television Personality” contest, a 


what attracts spon- 


bubblegum-blowing contest and the 
Mayor's Breakfast, at which 1665 paying 
guests will hear Jimmy “The 
Snyder pick A. J. Foyt as the rac 
ner, meet the 500 Festival Qu 
then adjourn to the opening ceremonies 
, where each of those attend- 
s permitted to make 
ette or Cadillac. 


one lap in hi 
The 38 Buick official pace cars str 
by, bearing celebrities. A few more drops 


of r; 


. The Festival Queen accepts hi 
nd steps up to the microphone: 
reckanize the twi ht 
princesses behind me.” Now its pour- 
ing. The band marches off, the crowd 
scatters for cover and Simon's car sits 
abandoned. fogging its plastic shroud in 
the pit lane. The rain pools up all aft 
noon, discouraging everyone but the golf- 
ers on the Speedway golf course, their 
official black-and-white umbrellas dotting 
the fairways. 


"The bar at the Speedway Mote 
the atmosphere of a neighborhood tav. 
ern. Everybody knows everybody, and if 
you don't know everybody, everybody 
knows you don't. But the waitress will 
flirt with you all the same and you're 
invited to listen in on any stories vou 
like. lis fairly quiet this evening and as 
I sip my gin and tonic, I remember sit- 
ting there the evening after Pollard's 
crash, overhearing a large man with rup- 
tured capillaries tell how once in Kor 
he'd put a . 45 to the head of his “moos 
when he'd gone back to his hooch and 
found her “shackin’ up with a nigger 
supply sergeant.” 

“Wha’'d you do?” his companion asks. 

“I shot er head oll." 

Really?" 

"Yeah, but I missed and shot off her 
foot instead.” The scalp beneath his 
silver flattop flares with laughter and, 
still laughing, he turns toward me. ^' 
you don't know what happened to th 
fella crashed in turn one, do ya?” 


"He's dead." I don't want to discuss 
Pollard this context, but it is the only 
straight answer to his question 


Aw, shit, I'm sorry" he 
apologizing to me. 

“You really shot her in the foot, huh? 
His companion is intrigued. 

“Naw, I never hit her at all. I just 
shot the bed full of holes." He leans 
toward the bar and covers his face with 
his hand. “Aw, Jesus," he says and be; 
weeping. 

Something bumps my leg and I notice 
seat belts dangling from each of the bar 
stools. 

It's getting dark and the 
t let up. 

The next morning, a rookie named 
Billy Scott beats Simon to the track. 
Scott passes his driver's test with no 
problems. “A cakewalk.” he says to me as 
he steps out of his car. But Ji i 
who in six years at the Speedway has yet 


ys, as if 


ain still 


ha 


Discover What Vitamins 
CanDoFor Your Hair. 


Glenn Braswell, President, Cosvetic Laboratories. 


WHATI DISCOVERED 
Believe me, had a 
problem. Five yeors ago! 
had all sorts of hair 
problems. leven thought! 
was going to lose my hair. 
Everyone in my family 
always had thick, healthy 
hair, sol knew my problem 
could not be hereditary. 
Hried everything that 
made sense, and even afew 
things that didn’t. When! 
went toa dermatologist, | 
got no encouragement. One 
doctor even jokingly said the 
ih 


box. Incidentally, he hod less 
hair than | did. Needless to 
say, nothing would work for 


me. 
But I didn’t give up hope. I 
couldn't. My good looks 
{and vanity) spurred me on to 
find a cure. | started hitting 
the books. 
‘My studies on hair have 
pointed more and more to nu- 
trition. Mojor nutritionists report 
that vitomins and minerals in the. 
right combination and in the right 
proportionare necessary to keep 
hair healthy. And one 
internotionally acclaimed beauty 
and health expert says the best hair 
conditioner in the world is proper 
nutrition. (In non-hereditary cases, 
in which hair loss is directly 
ottributed to vitamin deficienci 
hair has been reported to literally 
thrive after the deficiencies were 
corrected.) 


WHAT THE EXPERTS 
DISCOVERED 

Then | started reading all the 
data on nutrition! could get my 
hands on. lam now finding the 
medicol field beginning to support 
these nutritionists. 

Studies have determined that the 
normal adult could be replocing 
eachhair on the head os often as 
once every three to four yeors. You 
need to give your hoir its own 
specific dietary attention, just as 
yous give your body in general. 

One doctor at a major university 
discovered that re-growth of scalp 
cells occur7 times as fast as other 
body cells. Therefore, general 
nutrition (even though it moy be 
good enough for proper 
nourishment of the skin), may 
not be sufficient for scalp and 
hair. 

in the Human Hair 


Symposium conducted in 1973, 
scientists reported that hair 
ly won't grow without 
sufficient zinc sulfate. 
In case after case my hopes 
were reinforced by professional 
opinions. (And you know how 


hard it is to get any two scientists 


or doctors to ogree on 
anything.) 

The formula devised for my 
ownhair called for 7 vitamins 
and 5 minerals. The only 
problem was I discovered was 


spending obout $30 a month for 


the seporote compounds. 

So, after a half year of 
further study, coreful 
experimentation and product 
development, Heod Stort wos 
made. A precisely formulated 


Send me 


È booklet on har care. 


F 
5 


ien Mastercharge Interbank No. ——— 
(RBH no 


Ci Mastercharge Account 


— 
De 
— rv 


bottles of Head Start at $995 each plus 
25€ for handing (50 day supply), Act row and receive a hee 


vitamin and minercl supplement 
specifically designed to provide 
the five minerals and seven 
vitamins your hair desperately 
needs for health. Ata price 
everyone can afford. 

Four years later, over a 
quarter million people have 
tried Heod Start. Over 100 of 
the regular users, by the way, 
are medical doctors. Whot's 
more, alittle more than V2 of 
our users ore females! 

Today, as you can see from 
the picture, my own hair is 
greotly improved. But don't 
take my word for it. | have a 
business to run. Listen to the 
people (both men ond 
women) whowrote in, 
although they weren't osked 


Mad to: 
Cosveic Labs 
Head Start Division 
1937 Briarwood Ct 
Allanta, Ga. 30329 


State. 


TOLL FREE PHONE ORDERS. 
1-800-241-0502 o c. 


to, nor were they poid a 
cent, to drop me o line. 
WHAT OUR 

CUSTOMERS 

DISCOVERED. 

Ayaan losing my hoir, I 
just wantedit to grow 
faster.” D.B., Nashville, 
Tenn. 

"Your product has 
improved the condition of my 
hair and as far as I'm 
concerned has done 
yousoidit 

id.” C. B., Santa Rosa, 
Calif. “I can honestly say 
that your comprehensive 
programis the best | have 
mea and. . .l have tried 
H., New Orleans. 

Bp. ds had problem hair 
all my life until i found your. 
vitamin odvertisement. . .”” 
W. HI.. Costlewood, Va. 

"My hair has improved 
greatly and i am so encour- 
aged to continue spreading 
the good word along to 
friends and neighbors. |hod 

tried everything including hair and 
scolp treatments to no avail. . .” 
S.H., Metairie, La. 

"It's hord to believe that after 
one short month! con see this 
much difference... E. 
Charlotte, N.C. "The texture of 
my hair issoft and not brittle any 
more." H.A., Bronx, N.Y. “Your 
vitamins are terri 
and unbelievable. 
Carrollton, Ga. 
doctors. . 
nothing happened until I storted 
using Head Start.. R. A., 
Santa Ana, Colif. 

"Thank you for something 
that really works.” J. L. 
Brooklyn, N.Y. “Your vitamins 
are excellent. They have helped 
my hoir. D.D., Chehalis, 
Wash. “These pills reolly work” 
.-- Mrs. C. F.. Gadsden, Ala. 
"Your formula is really working 
forme and my scalp feels more. 
refreshedthan ever before!" 
H.L.S., Hollywood, Fla. 

DISCOVER HEADSTART 
AND OUR UNCONDITIONAL 

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE 

FOR YOURSELF 

Try Heod Start for 30 days. If 
yovfeel that the results you 
receive are not satisfactory in 
every way, you can return the 
unused portion and get your 
money back. Just like that. No 
questions asked. 


went to 
«tried everything. 


177 


PLAYBOY 


to make the race, is having trouble 
again, He takes four or five laps to warm. 
his engine, then stands on it coming past 
the pits. I am standing next to a track 
photographer when we hear the engine 
noise fade in the first turn, the horrible 
scrubbing of tires, an instant of silence and 
the dull grinding thud of rubber, steel 
and fiberglass embracing concrete. “Oh, 
goddamn Jigger,” the photographer slaps 
his thigh, "he done it again." Now the 
track is officially open. 


Already there is gossip about cheating, 
and Foyt, as everyon is the 
center of attention. George Bignotti, 


who for years has been Foyt’s crew chiel, 
has publicly accused Foyt of carrying 
more fucl than the rules allow. Foyt won 
the California 500 in a walkaway, and 
Bignotti has suggested he did it carrying 
n extra five gallons of methanol in the 
nister of his fir - The con- 
troversy has raged all ad, though 
the concerns are genuine, I sense a certai 
patina of show 

No one. not even those with the most 
peripheral interest in racing, seriously en- 
tertains the possibility t nyone can 
go faster than A. J., when and if he final- 
ly gets around to 

On the first day of qualifying, Foyt 
pulls in after onc lap at 189.195. It is 
the fastest lap turned in during the first 
half hour of qualifications, but not close 
to the 192.plus laps he’s been turning 

n practice. He rants around the pits, 
ostentatiously complaining about his 
res, then storms olf to his gar 
locks the doors. ‘The story goes 
that he is so pissed off he has taken a 
screwdriver and punctured all four tires 
on his car. "d be a good trick," he 
says later. “I'd like to see somebody try 
it." There is also some speculation that 
the tire (antrum is a ploy to get his car 
back into the garage so he can tamper 
with the U, S. Auto Club-installed tur- 
bocharger pop ol valve and 
crease its pressure. 

Late in the afternoon, when the track 
is cooler and three other cars have qual 
fied at over 190, A. J. tries again. The 
first time he goes by, everyone knows 
that if he survives, the pole position is 
his. I watch him power through turn 
two, using every inch of the track, I can 
feel everyone around me holding his 
breath, A. J’s engine screaming at full 
power, watching him slide to the back- 
straight wall till there isn't an inch of 
daylight between his right rear tire and 
the unimpressionable concrete. I can 
feel his engine vibrate all the way down 
the back straight and into turn three. No 
one is really surprised when they an- 
nounce his fistlap speed of 195.313 
mph, and we know we are watching 
something so frivolously momentous, so 
ethereally and courageously executed, 
and yet seemingly so pointless—a. m: 
unquestionably the best in the world at 


w 


178 what he docs, transcending even his own 


LIFE 
AMONG 
THE 
ALSO-RANS 


By WILLIAM NEELY 


IN ^ sPORT that has as its motto “First 
is first and second is nowhere,” Dick 
Simon is kind of an oddity. 

For openers, he's not a winner and 
docsn't expect to be, thank you. At 42, 
he works on his own car and does his 
own driving and, for the last six. years 
he has made the starting field at the 
Indianapolis 500 without a sponsor. 

But Simon says: “The fact that Im 
not going to win the 500, and I know 
that, doesn’t take away onc bit of the 
excitement. Just making the show is an 
FT finish 33rd. 

It y that philosophy that 
aused Simon to lay down his actuarial 
table and walk away from the board 
chairman's job of a $70,000,000 holding 
company. the presidency of one insu 
ance company and the vice-presidency 
of another—and to say goodbye to a 


wife who gave him the inevitable 
choice: "It's either that damn race car 
or me. 


Two days before the 1975 Indianapo- 
lis 500, Simon. . elbows on table, 
house trailer alongside the Gasoli 
garage area, Inside the g 
, the big-name racers—the hot dogs, 


h their presence. But Simon had 
en a break for this interview. It 
seemed as if he had just walked out of 
a board room instead of shimmying 
from under his race creeper. 
In the Formica-and-birch-venecr atmos- 
phere of the trailer, he appeared some- 
how calmer than the rest of the drivers. 
He had that inner peace that comes 
only with not having to worry about 
the pole position or winning the race 
or lugging a trophy home. 

"I don't have a better chance of win- 
ning than I did when J first came here 
in 1970—maybe less," he said. "In that 
first race, I was inexperienced and com- 
pletely unrealistic. For one thing, I 
figured I could win. I didn’t recognize 
some of the things that could go wrong 
1 I just charged forward. I think 
that'sa plus for a driver. 


ar on 


Simon started Ist that year and 
finished 1th. His best finish in six tries 
t the Brickyard has been 13th. 

He had mortgaged his home to buy 
the race car and, with the little money 
left over, he bought a used engine from 
Dan Gurney. He arrived at the mecca 
of all spare parts and 
he began practice. Just like that. 

a the odds were against us, 
wemendously against us," Simon says. 
"but some people don't mind odds. Ask 
1ybody in Las Vegas." 

With blind determination, Simon 
took a tired engine that already had 
500 race miles on it, which is roughly 
equivalent to 100,000 miles on the 
family jalopy, and practiced at Indy 
until hell wouldn't have it. When i 
came time for qualifying, Simon went 
k to Gurney with a d ell me a 
better used engine, Dan, and Ill give 
you a postdated check. I'm gonna win 
some money on race d 

OF course, he hadn't qualified yet, 
but Gurney sold him an engine for 
$18,000 and took the check, dated May 
31, the day after the race. Simon won 


ers without an 


exactly $18,000 that year at Indy. 
“But 


ed some assets,” 
race car 


we had g 
ow we had a 
and fwo engines.” 

But somewhere during that first 
he had adopted a slightly diffe 
philosophy: “This attrition thing 
portant. I mean, il you're running at the 
end of the race, you have a pretty good 
chance of finishing in the top 15. So I 
made sure I was running and I made the 
rest of the circuit, putting the purses 
back into the car. As a matter of fact, E 
have yet to take ten cents out of racing.” 

Dick Simon epitomizes the back-of- 
the-pack racer who comes every year to 
fill one of the 33 spots in the race. While 
the Bobby Unsers and Johnny Ruther- 
lords are up front, there are a whole 
bunch of cars behind them that don’t 
have a ghost of a chance of winning. But 
it takes 33 cars to fill the field, and if 
race fans can't do anything else, they 
can count to 33. 

"So I don't expect to win the race 
this year, even if accidents and broken 
engines are at a record high. We're 
for the top five, Now that I'm 
in racing full time, I'll be able to tell 
what it will take to win it next year. 
Thats the year. Next year. We've set 
the car up to run all day long at 180 
miles an hour and that will put us in 
the top five, maybe even in the top 
three. Of course, that’s assuming that 
one or two of the top cars break.” Of 


ce, 
nt 


shootin; 


before the race. 
started 30th in 1975 in a 


Simon 
three-year-old Gurney Eagle, just to 


prove his loyalty to the man who 
trusted him, and he worked his way up 
to ninth before an ailing engine put 
him in the pits a few extra times. He 
wound up 21st. 

“Things didn't go like we planned, 
but I still learned a lot. I know what 
we need to win next year, Besides, this 
was a gameplan race. I planned to 
build for next year and I think we've 
done it.” 

A lot of fans at Indy think there 
might be a next year. "You just can't 
overlook the Dick Simons of racing, 
says one fan, as he fishes around in the 
ice chest for another beer. “Lissen, man, 
it might not be 76 or even '77, but one 
of them long shots is going to win this 
race someday. Hey, where's the chicken, 
Marth 

And Dick 8 


on certainly isn't over- 
looking Dick Simon. He says: "In 1974, 
I came here to be a charger and 1 did 
just that. I q d tenth and went to 


sixth before we got off the back straight- 
away. I was making a move that would 
have gotten me to third place—I was 


really moving—when I broke my car 
coming off four. All that happened in 
the first lap. But at least I got the 
charging bit out of my system. Seventy- 
five was the year to build. Seventy-six 
is the year to win.” That's the spirit! 
Is the excitement still there? “My 
hands still perspire before a race. I 
perspire all over. And my knces knock. 
A lot of drivers’ knees knock before a 
ace, but most of them cover it up 
ary well. I just let mine knock. It 
sounds like there's a woodpecker in my 
car. But when they drop that green flag, 
I forget about knees and palms and 
everything,” he says with an impish 
grin and a sparkle in his eyes that 
makes you remember what that race fan 
said, the part about one of them long 
aning. 
e tears in my eyes when I 
finish qualifying and know I've made 
the Simon says. "I mean, we've 
gone through so much just to get there 
and to race. I've had third degree burns 
twice—once at Pocono and once at 
Phoenix. At Pocono, the fuel line broke 
and with 120 pounds’ pressure, it didn't 


a fireball it ignited. And at Phoen, 
finished the last half of the rice with 
ll the insulation torn away from the 
water lines that run through the cock- 
pit. My legs were pressed against the 
red-hot pipes and it burned clean down 
to the bone. But I finished sixth, 

Because hes been a parachutist 
and a ski jumper and now he’s a race 
driver who burns himself before he 
quits, Simon gets the hackneyed ques- 
tion often: “Do you have a death wish? 


Death wish, indeed. 

“A lot of people ask crazy things like 
that. But, man, I have no desire to get 
hurt. I enjoy competitive things; you 
know, reaching out and touching the 
things that are exciting in life. And 
there's still a lot of things I haven't 
touched.” 

Simon reaches out a lot more than 
most drivers. Often other teams à 
to test their cars, find out what's wrong 
and why they won't go any faster or 
andle any better. They ask Simon be- 
ause he will “hang it out” more than 
the average driver, take that ex 
chance, 

“I get out there and take the car to 
the point where the back end or the 
front end really slides. You can tell 
what's wrong with a car that way. It 
helps the other guy, but it also helps the 
total Dick Simon. I me: I keep flirt- 
ag with that exposure and keep train- 
ng myself to take carc of the situa 
1I figure it will make me 
competitive driver. I don't ha 

me left or the money to do it like 
Foyt did. He's got years of experience 
and literally thousands of miles of test- 
ing here for Goodyear and other com- 
panies.” Simon says. 

How does a 42y 


old racer who has 


never won an Indy car race look to the 
future? “I've got a lot of years left, 
maybe ten, and I know someday TIl 


come down into turn one at, say, 215 
miles an hour, and I'll ease up a little 
more than usual. FI be the first to 
now and I'll say, "Oops, time to go." 

"IE I win, though, I mean the big one, 
Indy, I won't quit. I mean, that’s no 
reason to quit, Foyt wouldn't quit if he 
won that fourth one. I just don't want 
to lose that feeling 1 get out there in a 
race car. t know,.it just brings 
out everything in you. Everything. IL I 
won it, 1 suppose my racing would com- 
pound phenomenally. l'd probably go 
10 Europe and every place and try to 
win everything in sight. So, you see, it's 
not the money. I still wouldn't have 
ny. But Ive had lots of chances 10 
make money,” he s 

‘The interview i: an end. It is 
time for Dick Simon, race driver“ 
philosopher, to go back and become 
Dick Simon, mechanic and parts boy 
and tester of other drivers’ cars. 

“I've dumped everything into rac 
age. Everything. 
We almost won in 1973. I was lcading 
id [Gordon] Johncock was behind me. 
It was past the half 
looked like it would rain 
Well, I burned a piston and as I 
the pits in the rai 
and watched Gordy 
flag, 1 knew that someday the piston 
wouldn't burn.” 


at in 
n that finally came 


abilities, placing himself at the mercy of 
intricately overstressed steel and rubber 
and any stray speck of dirt on the track, 
to go nowhere faster than anyone else 
possibly could. For three minutes and 
five and a half seconds, all the allega- 
tions of cheating scem pointless. A. J. 
Foyt owns the track and no onc will 
dispute it. "I thrilled the hell outta my- 
self three or four times out there," he 
says, just to let everyone know it hasn't 
been quite as casy or as predetermined 
as it looks. Johnny Rutherford, who holds 
the onedap record at Indianapolis and 
won the pole position in 1973, made the 
definitive statement on those four crucial 
laps after qualifying a disappointing 
seven mph off the pace: “Some days you 
eat the bear, and some days the bear 
eats you 

Television has come a long w 
transcribing sports action on a field, 
court or track, observable from almost 
any angle, to a Grcumscribed image 
composed of dots and spaces on a screen. 
capable of a multitude of points of view, 
but again, only one at a time. Anyone 
who has gone to a race after watching 
them on television is astounded 
fast the cars zoom past. Maybe part of 
it is being there with the earspliuing 
ne noise, the smell of rubber, oi 
phalt, but when you get out from be- 
hind the telephoto lens and see how long 
those straights really are and how little. 
time it takes a racing car to cover the 
emingly immense distance from turn 
four to turn onc, it causes a cei 
cal sensation in the scalp and 
of the spine that television viewers never 
ly God. they're going fast.” T's 
no longer the sort of leisurely motorized 
game you've watched between commer- 
ials. You feel the ground shudder under 
your fect and it feels a little threatening. 

But maybe the camera is better than 
the naked cye at projecting the driver's 
experience of speed. Of course, there are 
vibrations, sounds and g-force sensations 
that the driver alone can experience, but 
when a man lives long enough at 200 
mph, 200 mph becomes the norm and 
he slows it down. Through his eyes, a 


Jong as he remains in control, things 
don't happen with the frightening ra- 
pidity with which we perceive them. 


For him, the n't a chaotic 
but a calmly perceived series of sensa 
tions; now, now, now and now. He fixes 
on nothing and is therefore not startled 
by the brevity of his relationship with 
any object in the field of his experience. 
It's a kind of Zen by default, in which 
sur depends upon nonattachment 
nd. single-mindednes: stall from 
which no element can. be removed and 
examined. 

Apart from Foyts run, the greatest 
spectator interest on the front straight is 
generated by a rabbit. Qualifying is 
stopped and several spectators chase the 
rabbit up and down the track in front of 


179 


PLAYBOY 


180 


the pits, the crowd cheering, as in the 
lion-feeding scenes in Quo Vadis, each 
time they pass. The rabbit has strayed 
into a jungle without cover, nothing but 
asphalt, concrete walls and four pairs of 
Adidas track shocs pursuing him. Five 
minutes later, he is strung from the in- 
field fence, dead from an apparent heart 
attack. 


It's a fairly reliable axiom that the 
best drivers will be offered the best cars 
nd rookies, unless they're already es- 
tablished superstars, consider themselves 
fortunate to have any kind of ride for 
Indy. Billy Scott, the rookie for whom 
the driver's test at 170 mph has been 
a cakewalk, found that trying to push 
the same car just 12 mph a lap faster to 
make the race was a nightmare. And in- 
ferior equipment wasn't his only handi- 
cap. “Indy is the biggest race in the 
world,” Scott says. He leans close to 
be sure I can hear him over the of the 
saw those huge grandstands full 
of people watching me, and it suddenly 
hit me where J was. A couple of times, 
Td start down the front straight and hear 
myself thin! I'm really at 
Indy.’ Then Fd catch myself 
"Cut that shit out and drive. 
I took an eight hundred-and-sixty-nine- 
foot spin coming out of turn three and 
ended up on the grass inside turn four. 
The car was OK, and so was I, but that 
really got my attention, like a dog shittin* 
a loggin’ chain. 


Scott fails to make competitive speed 
on two qualifying attempts and the car 
Owner decides to try another driver, 
Graham McRae, an Indy veteran. But 


McRae's times are no better than Scott's. 
On his last attempt, Scott overcooks it 
coming out of turn four. The rear end 
comes loose and he makes a spectacular. 


"Too bad he didn't stuff 
it beyond fi a driver quips. "Now 
some other poor son of a bitch'll have to 
struggle with it next year." 

I tell Scott about my friend Dave 
McDonald, who was killed 12 years car- 
licr coming out of turn four in an 
unstable car, how Jimmy Clark had fol- 
lowed him in practice and told him he 
should refuse to drive it in the race. 

"But I couldn't do that." Scott seems 
shocked by the suggestion. "I mean, if I 
stepped out of a ride, I'd never get an- 
other one. I'd be all washed up." 

“The thrill isn't there anymore.” Andy 
Granatelli, who, with legendary Novis 
and his turbine car that died three laps 
short of winning the 1967 race, has been 
responsible for more innovation and 
spectator interest tl any other man 
in the Speedway's 59-year history, looks 

most on the verge of tears as 
bout his 29-year lover's quarrel 
with Indianapolis. “Driving down here 
each year, I used to get so excited I'd 
start edging down on the accelerator, 


"If you really loved me, you wouldn't ask me lo 
go to bed with all your friends!” 


going faster and faster, till by the time I 
got to Lafayette I was driving flat out. 
“But there's been too much tragedy, 
he explains, “that and U.S.A.C’s contin 
ual legislation against innovation. It all 
comes to the rules.” He gets up and goes 
to the refrigerator for a can of diet pop. 
He's lost 50 pounds and waddles less con- 
spicuously than he used to in those STP 
commercials. "If they went to stock 
blocks, stock oil, stock gasoline and 
strectavailable tires, you'd have a better 
race and you'd have something about the 
cars the spectators could identily with.” 


What about the changes they've 
made,” I ask, "like wing restrictions and 


mitations?” 

“Thats a, start. But they didn't go 
far enough. Look, you've got a govern- 
ing board made up of 21 car owners, 
drivers and mechanics, all legislating 
own interests. I m you ever sce 
a committee of 21 that ever got anything 
done? No. What racing needs is a czar, 
Limit the fucl to 200 gallons. You'd 
slow the cars down to 170 and you'd have 
a better race. The spectators wouldn't 
know the difference. They can't tell if 
a car's going 200 or 150. You ever no- 
tice during qualifying how they never 
cheer for the fastest cars till after they 
hear the time announced? They can't 
even see the drivers anymore, can't sce 
their style or the way they drive, can't 
even see the numbers from the pits any- 
more, 

“They killed my driver and my me- 

chanic.” There's a kind of forlorn in- 
tensity in his expression that, though he 
doesn’t say it, pleads, Don’t you under- 
stand? Two years earlier, the last year 
Granatelli entered the 500, Swede Savage, 
driving one of his cars, was leading the 
race after 57 laps when he lost it coming 
out of turn four, crashed brutally into the 
ide ret; ag wall and suffered burns 
from which he was to die a month later. 
A Speedway crash truck, rushing the 
wrong way up the pit lane, struck one of 
Granatelli’s @ewmen from behind and. 
he died an hour later. Those in the pits, 
already horrified by the explosion and 
almost total disintegration of Savage's 
car, saw the mechanic's body tossed like 
a rag doll 50 feet into the air. 
‘Swede had just come out of the pits.” 
G telli pau nd draws hand 
across his forehead. “He'd taken ou 
cighty gallons of fuel, and it was a com- 
pletely differenthandling car than he'd 
been driving a lap earlier.” 

To understand why Savage lost control 
in that particular corner, it’s necessary 
to speculate on what he must have been. 
thinking just before it 

Bobby Unser, who h ly been 
Savage’s teammate, had insulted him in 
print, had told the media that Savage 
couldn't drive, that he wouldn't even 
indude him on a list of the 100 rop 


drivers. Jerry Grant, who, like Unser, had 
been driving a white Olsonite Eagle 
explained it to me. The track was oily, 
really slippery in the groove, and Swed 
was running high, making time by stay 
ing above the groove, where the track 
was dry. I think what happened was that 
he saw a white car in his mirrors and 
thought Unser was closing on him. 1 
guess he didn't realize it was me and 
that Bobby was a lap down at that point. 
Anyway, he must have been thinking 
about what Bobby had said about him, 
"cause he dove down into the groove to 
close the door on me. The car was heavy 
with full fuel tanks and he was just going 
too fast to hold traction when he came 
down into the oil slick. It just must 
have been brain fade. For a second there. 
nd must have been somewhere 


The race was stopped for an hour and 
15 minutes after the crash, restarted and 
then called after 332 miles because of 
rain. Granatelli's other car, driven by 
Gordon Johncock. was declared the 
winner, but it was a sad victory for Andy 

The dietpop can is empty now and 
Granatelli sets it on the table at the end 
of the couch. “Last year, when we were 
coming in over the airport, my wife 
looked down from the plane and saw the 
Speedway. The thrill is gone, Andy’ 
That's what she said." He looked down at 


the floor and tapped his chest. " 
isn’t here anymore.” 

Dan Gurney is balancing on a small 
bicycle in the Jorgensen Steel garage in 
Gasoline Alley. I'm leaning against a 
workbench and he scems to have me 
pinned in the corner with the flashing 
wheels of his unruly mount. He pulls 
up into an occasional wheelie and I 
notice, with some relief, that the frame 
Drace bar is thickly padded. “We can't 
forget we're in show business.” His blue 
All American Eagle rests unattended 
in the adjacent stall, race ready and 
immacu We're competing for the 
entert nent dollar with football, base- 
ball, hockey, whatever's going on at the 
same time, and those other things are 
more solidly entrenched and better or- 
ganized than we are.” 

Like Granatelli, Gurney feels the rules. 
as they now stand, are stifling champion 
ship car racing. “I'd like to sce us ge 
morc in ic with the rest of the world. 
go to the Grand Prix formula and get a 
full international sanction, so we could 
attract foreign drivers again." I recall 
Granatelli’s complaint that Indy had 
become too homogencous, that there 
were basically only two kinds of cars 
there anymore, the McLarens and Gur- 
ney's Eagles, and no more Jimmy Clarks, 
am Hills or Alberto Ascaris. “If we 


Gurney 


e to bu ld a third 
tier on the grandstands.” He also wants 
to eliminate rules that 1 turbo- 


chargers. “Turbocharged engines cut 
down the noise and the diversity of 
sounds and. frankly, thats a big part 
of the spectator appeal.” 

I remind him that the Indianapolis 
500 is already far and away the largest 
spectator event in the world 

“I know that,” he smiles earnestly. 
that doesn’t mean it couldn't be 
A man from ABC interrupts to 
ney they'd like to film an inter 
view for Wide World of Sports. Dan 
politely explains that he's busy right 
now and that he'll get to it as soon as 
he’s free. I feel slightly impertinent. 
holding up ABC, like the flea with an 

0 floats down the river, hol 
ing for the drawbridge to be raised 
but Gurney takes one thing at a time. 
The man from ABC will wait outside 
ith his crew. 

"Where was I?” Dan smiles in apology 
for the interruption. “OK, another thing 
about turbochargers is that they make 
the race so technologically intricate that 
it works against younger, less experienced 
drivers, so that you've got the same crop 
of 40-ycar-olds out there leading the race 
every y ace unique 
is tradition and the ripples that it causes 
all around the world. But what 1 don't 


wi 


INTRODUCES 
ITS LOADED DECK. 


The new Akai GXC-570D is our top-ofthe- 
line stereo cassette deck. And its loaded 

lt utilizes a 3 head recording system —a GX 
glass and crystal combination head so you can 
source monitor when recording and, if you 
dont like what you've got, an erase head 

Tchasa closed loop dual capstan drive system 
which not only pulls, bur feeds the tape across 
the heads. smoothly. Thars the best drive sys- 
tem there is 

It has Akai’ exclusive Sensi-touch" control 
systemso you can go from one mode ro another 
without ever pushing a burton, You just touch 
them, lightly: 

It has 3 motors, dual process Dolby* remote 
control (optional) and as many switches 
and featuresas cassette decks costing alot 
more. Plus something brand new —an electri- 
, cally operated control panel cover. Just so you 

can impress people 

Plug in our GXC-570D and you'll know 
you're playing with a loaded deck. Thats the 
strength of the Akai linc. Quality Performance. 
Loaded. From top to bottom. 

After all. nobody should be playing with half 


AKAI 


COMIN’ ON STRONG: 


Akai cassette decks from $199.95 to $800.00 suggested retail value. “Trademark of Dolby Labs, Inc. Akai America Ltd.. 2139 East Del Amo Blvd., Compton, CA 90220 


181 


PLAYBOY 


182 


“Don't move—I lost my contact lens!” 


like about it, and I guess it’s a part of 
that tradition, is the amount of time we 
have to spend here. It’s like a whole month 
in a police state.” While we are talking, 
I notice three Indiana state troopers 
with night sticks, Sam Browne belts and 
mirrorsfinish sunglasses in the bright 
alley beyond the garage door. I don't 
like to reinforce stereotypes, but they 
look polished, impersonal and just plai 
mean, like licensed bullies. Their 
presence is an integral part of the 
atmosphere of this race, as are the rioters, 
sadists, muggers, streakers, fornicators, 
motorcycle gangs, Frisbee players and 
drunks who occupy the infield like 30 
armed tribes. The faint odor of tear gas 
is almost as common on race day as beer, 
popcorn and hot rubber. I smile and 
notice that the troopers are talking with 
Bobby Unser, who, the previous weck, 
was made a special sheriff's deputy, had a 
iœ radio installed in his car and 30 
utes later drove across town at un- 
recorded speeds to be the on the 
scene to arrest three teenagers suspected of 
i uana behind an all-night 
be it's necessary for it to be 
that way in order to put this race on the 
way it is,” Gurney scratches his head and 
smiles wryly, “but we're all anxious to get 
back to the United States when it’s over. 
It’s the evening before the race and 
Speedway, Indiana, has become a refu- 
gee camp. Every fidd and vacant lot 
within miles is packed with trailers, 
tents, motor homes, sweating bodies. 
piles of empty beer cans and backyard 
barbecues, Refugee camps are better 
organized. These are the Mongol hordes, 
the Huns awaiting race day to storm the 


es of Rome. Campfires glow. I’m cer- 
tain I can hear the throbbing of tribal 
drums, unintelligible chanting. Police 
sirens are as commonplace as the ran- 
dom explosions of cherry bombs. A prison 
bus with heavily wiremeshed windows 
speeds past. There will be a total eclipse 
of the moon tonight and it seems to 
hype the lunacy. Except for a few 
nervous mechanics and stall personnel, 
the Speedway is empty and quiet. From 
a helicopter, it would look like a black 
oval, a void in a galaxy of fire and chaos. 

‘The motel room I'm sharing with Bob 
Jones faces 16th Strect and is less than 
100 feet from an entrance to the track. 
It's a convenient bivouac, but only a 
self-hypnotist could sleep here. Although 
the gates won't open till five A.M., the 
traffic starts stacking up shortly after mid- 
night. I close the door, turn out the lights 
and lie awake with the sirens, honking 
horns, motorcycle engines and the anti 
pation of the race. I wonder how well the 


At nine o'clock, two hours before race 
ne, I head over to the track. I've been 
given a piss to shoot photographs from 
the balcony of the Penske Suite overlook- 
ing turn two. It's a precarious though 
very pleasant setup. Drinks, snacks and 
air conditioning will be available a few 
steps away and the view of the short 
chute, turn two and the back straight is 
excellent, though Ill be sitting less than. 
20 feet from the edge of the track at 
the point where the cars begin to cxit 
the turn. I felt a little exposed there 
watching qualifying, fecling the vibra- 
ion and heat from the passing cars and 
gauging the strength of the cables rein- 
forcing the wire fence that was all that 


separated me from the track. I reminded 
myself that it was only steel cables that 
held up the Golden Gate Bridge and that 
if they did fail, anything that happened 
would happen so fast that I wouldn't 
have time to torment myself with the 
hope of escape. 

The chairman of the bank, whose 
traveler's checks have cosponsored the 
Penske McLaren driven by Tom Sneva, 
points out the bar and buffet, tells me 
not to hesitate to ask for whatever I 
necd. I stake out a scat on the corner 
of the balcony where no one will bc 
moving between my lens and the track, 
fix myself a tonic water and check my 
focus and exposure. 

The prerace ceremonies have begun, 
the celebrities have been driven around 
the track, Peter DePaolo, winner of the 
1925 500, has taken a lap in a Duesen- 
berg that ran in the race in 1930, the 
Speedway has been presented with a 
plaque designating it a national historic 
landmark and the fina 
cation drift across the infiel 
hand over the heart, a prayer in the soul 
and brains in the head.” Now everything 
seems to accelerate, including 350,000 
pulse rates. Jim Nabors gargles Back 
Home Again in Indiana, 5000 helium- 
filled balloons are released, Tony Hul- 
man takes the microphone: “Gentlemen, 
start your injuns." The parade and pace 
laps come off w ncident, the cars 
snaking from side to side to warm up 
their tires. Some of the drivers wave or 
salute as they pass the suites of their 
sponsors and I am reminded of knights 
dipping their lances to the ladies whose 
favors they wore. The ritual hasn't 
changed, only become more commerci 

For the drivers, the prerace tension is 
over and they are locked into that im 
penetrable concentration that comes the 
moment they are strapped into their 
cars. As they approach the starting line, 
everyone becomes very quiet, probably 
the one moment when none of the 
nearly half million people in this arena 
has anything to say. The engine noi 
accelerates, a series of bombs explodes in 
the air, and then a great cheer goes up 
from the crowd. The announcer's voice 
booms, “And the 59th Indianapolis 500 
Mile Race is under way, the greatest 
spectacle in racing.” 

After the start and the excitement of 
the initial laps, the race, for most of the 
spectators, diminishes to a monotonous 
stream of almost indistinguishable cars 
and anonymous drivers flowing by at 
over 200 mph. 1 don't mean that it isn't 
still exciting. The noise itself is enough 
to keep the adrenaline pumped up, but 
you have to rely on the wack announcer 
to understand what's happening. It’s very 
much the way it was all those years I 
listened to it on the radio, but with a 
lot of special effects thrown I'm aware 
that Johncock, who had jumped into 
a commanding lead at the start, has 


Decisions...decisions... Make your decision 


LAU, MAL, 


NEW 
Low tar 
(only 8 mg.) 


20 FILTER 
CIGARETTES. 


“TAR” 8 MGS. OR LESS AV. PER CIG. 


PALL MALL GOLD 100's PALL MALL EXTRA MILD 
The great taste of fine . It's lower in tar than 98% 
Pall Mall tobaccos. of all cigarettes sold. 

Not too strong, not too light. Made extra mild by 

Not too long. Tastes just right. the Air-Stream Filter. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health, Pall Mall 100's . . 20 mp. “tar, 1.4 ma, nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report Nov. 75 
Pall Mall Extra Mild... 8 mg, "tar", 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


PLAYBOY 


184 


dropped out. It’s a 500-mile race. Run- 
ning away with the early laps may 
please the crowd and momentarily put 
driver in the limelight, but the chances 
are he'll be all but forgotten when the 
checkered flag falls. Foyt and Ruther- 
ford are swapping the lead now, though 
Im seldom certain who has it at any 
ven moment. As the cars scream out 
of turn two, it all seems effortless, though 
they're fighting the limit of adhesio 
They pass so close it almost seems I 
can touch them. In twos and threes, the 
engines surge down the back straight 
like aircraft engines out of sync. 

"There's a yellow light and most of the 
cars head for the pits. For a full ten 
seconds no cars pass and the silence is 
startling. I'm keeping my camera ready, 
watching what's coming out of turn two 
and wying to answer the questions of 
the distractingly pretty lady who has 
taken the seat next to me. Our conver- 
sation di inted, broken sentences 
sequenced in the brief intervals between 
passing cars. Occasionally, a whiff of 
her perfume mingles with and subsumes 
the perspiration and burning rubber. 
Shes a young Grace Kelly type from 
somewhere in Pennsylvan 

Several times 1 up 
c passing action down the back 
ight. Sneva is running a highly re- 
spectable fifth and is still very much in 
contention. He pulls to the inside to lap 
several slower cars and the precision of 
his judgment keeps me standing. It 
seems he won't have time to get past 
them and back into the groove to set up 
for tu three, and I realize that 
that point hes traveling at about 220 
mph. He's deep, almost too deep, but in 
the last few feet, he cuts back to the 
outside, clear of the traffic and right in 
the groove. Then I remember how it 
always looks more impressive from the 
outside than it does from the driver“ 
scat. Once at Mosport, during pr 
for the Canadian Grand Prix, I walked 
over to watch at turn one while my car 
was being worked on. I was frightened 
and astounded at how ragged and pe 
ous it seemed, the cars skidding and 


stand to watch 


vibrating through the reversecamber 
downhill turn. "Jesus, that y" 1 
thought. "How can they do it?” Then, 


half an hour later, I went and qualified 
ou the pole for the G.T. race. 1 didn't 
know how to do it; J just did it. 


More laps, more questions, more 
fragmented answers: “They're limited 
10——" two scream through the 


turn, nose to tail, and I wait for the noise 
to fade, "two hundred and eighty gal- 
lons, which means that another 
passes and I can feel the heat from its 
exhaust, “at the mileage they're getting, 
they. this time I'm interrupted by 
the wack announcer's calling attention 
to Wally Dallenbach, who ted in 21st 


position and is now moving up toward 
the lead at an alarming rate, "couldn't. 
finish the race they didn’t do at 
lea ” another car, “a few laps under 
the yellow.” 

Fve been watching Dallenbach. His 
engine sounds stronger, pitched higher 
and wound tighter than the other cars’. 
And another strange thing is that though 
he's gobbling up the field, his line 
through the corners isn’t following the 
groove. He's running through the m 
dle of turn two cach time he passes, not 
drifting wide and using the whole track 
the way other cars do when they're turn- 
ing hot laps. Each time he passes, it 
seems he's operating on a separate p 
ciple of physics, as if the laws governing 
centrifugal force have been suspended 
for him. Later I would hear rumblings 
that he had a small tank of nitrous oxide 
(laughing gas) that was being injected 
directly into the cylinders, g him 
an exta 150 horsepower with no i 
‘ease in boost, and that his unorthodox 
line was to compensate for the exta 
sensitivity under his right foot. It oc 
curs to me that if that were true, it might 
be possible that the nitrous oxide was 
being injected directly into Dallenbach 
and that his extra speed was the result 
of an altered consciousness. Whatever the 
facts, Dallenbach is laughing on the 60th 
lap when he passes Foyt and goes on 
to open up a 22-second lead. 


One hundred and twenty-six laps and 
almost two hows of racing. Senses are 
aning to numb and the stream of 
rs is beginning to have a hypnotic effect 
on the afternoon. I have a mild head- 
he, my throat's getting sore and, for- 
tunately, or unfortunately, Grace Kelly 
king fewer questions. The tension 
to dissolve into monotony. Fm 
ss attentive with my Jens and have 
pretty well determined that I won't have 
to shoot any action on this turn tod: 
Somebody taps me on the shoulder and 
as I turn to my right, 1 hear a scream 
from the crowd, followed by a loud dull 
thud. I turn back to my left and there, 
not 40 feet away and 20 feet in the air, 
bove eye level, is the top of Sneva's 
mes have engulfed the rear 
half of his car and it's cartwhecling hori: 
zontally along the wire retaining fence. 
I have a stop-action image, look- 
ing at the car as if from above as it 
hurtles toward me, but not on film. I've 
forgotten about For an in- 
stant, I 
man's death and that it will also be my 
. Things have gone too smoothly, the 
phere has been deceptively benign, 
and it now seems this track has de- 
manded another catastrophe. I leap over 
the now vacant chair to my right and, 
I tu toward the suite, I sce the re- 
flection of the flames in the sliding glass 


doors and feel the heat sweep acros my 
back. The instant of danger has passed 
and 1 turn back toward the track just 
in time to sce the disembodied engine 
tumble by in a ball of flame. Debris fills 
the air like a flight of sand grouse. The 
Nikon takes over, zipping off exposures 
like a digital computer, onc last som- 
ersault before the car comes to rest, right 
side up and on fire. It really doesn't re- 
semble a car anymore, just a burning 
tub of metal, not 30 feet away, a driver's 
helmet protruding from the flames. The 
original fire had been burning oil, but 
now the methanol has ignited and can be 
seen only as intense heat waves blurring 
the edges of the wreckage 

The fire marshal is herding everyone 
off the balconies and into the suites. He 
sees my camera and press badge and lets 
me stay, though Ive finished the roll 
and have to change film. It is obvious 
that Sneva is dead. It’s the most brutal, 
spectacular and horrifying crash I've 
ever see! nd I've seen at least a dozen 
that were fatal. The scene in the suite 
couldn't bc more macabre or more 
comic. All these people know Sneva in 
some cip Several of them are the 
sponsors of his car and he's crashed and 
been annihilated right in their laps. 
Sneva's wife has gone into hysterics and 
has been hustled out to the balcony 
overlooking the golf course on the far 
side of the building. Grace Kelly, who 
was fixing a drink at the time, has faller 
backward and sat in a tray of chocolate 
brownies. The chairman of the bank, 
in nervous relief, tells me how delighted 
he is that I've been able to get good 

tures. Though I'm sure it isn't his 
intention, it sounds as if, in his role as 
gracious host, he has arranged ile 
Gash for my photographic convenience. 
Everyone looks sick to his stomach 
1 am changing film. “Did you get it? 
look up into the wide eyes of a young- 
executive type. 

“Ya, I think so." 

"Did you get Mrs. Sncv 

"What?" Pm certain I've 
stood. 

“Did you get pictures of Mrs. Sueva?" 

I choke on my own saliva and shake 
my head. “I didn't hear th 

"Good for you,” he 

Good for you.” 

The fire marshal lets me back out onto 
the balcony to photograph the work of 
the fire crew. There are clouds of 
chemical vapors, flashing lights, scattered 
detritus and crash crews diverting trafhe 
to the grass verge inside the track. Then 
I see something that, for a moment, T 
am certain is an illusion, Sneva mov 
His helmet is wiggling back and forth 
nd he’s put his ms down onto thc 
fuselage, trying to push himself up and 
out of the cockpit, but he appears to be 
stuck. Another driver has abandoned his 
car and is trying to help the emergency 


e 


mis 


F 
. = 
H te 


mA 


SS 


185 


"I'm sorry, young man, I just can't go through with this ceremony!” 


PLAYBOY 


186 


FAMOUS TAPERED 
UNDERWEAR 


INE REIS TA 


GIVES YOU THAT TRIM, 
ATHLETIC LOOK. 


Now... 

finer fabrics 
and superior 
construction 
details for 
EXTRA VALUE! 


TORSO T-SHIRT 
Genuine Tapered Fit with Hi-Neck 


collarette. 100% fine cotton. 
Perma-Sized®. White, Black, Blue, 
Tan, Yellow. 

SMLXL $3.50 


SHORTI- SHORT!^ 

Trim tailoring. Reinforced side 
vents. Finest 65% Dacron Poly- 
ester, 35% cotton fabric. Perma- 
nent Press. White, Pastels, Fash- 
ionable Stripes and Checks. Sizes 
28-40. $2.75 
Also... 

‘STRETCH NYLON BE-KEEN™ BIKINI 
with double front panel. Outstand- 
ing fit. Only $2.50 


at your favorite store, or write 


ROBERT REIS & CO. 
350 Fifth Ave., New York 10001 


crew get Sneva out of the wreckage. The 
struggle goes on for several minutes till 
they finally free him, dragging him up 
and out by his armpits. Not only is he 
alive but he walks, with help, to the wait- 
i ubulance, lies down on the stretcher 
and is taken to the infield hospital. Still, 
I am not confident he'll recover, 1 
member how, two years before, Swede 
Savage rode to the infield hospital sitting 
up but died of his injuries a month later. 

The ABC slowmotion replays show 
Sneva pasing Eldon Rasmussen and 


running just ahead of Foyt in the short 
two. 


chute between 
Sneva's right rear tire touches R 
sen's left [ront and Sneva finds 
upside down and airborne, heading for 
the outside wall at almost 200 mph. 
Sneva’s car slams into the wall tail first, 
the win; and rear wheels sep- 
arating, in a protracted dance with the 
flames and scattering fragments of metal 
and fiberglass, the remains of the car 
cartwheel three times along the wall, 
then somersaulting three times down the 
asphalt, to come to rest, on fire, in the 
middle of the track. It's the kind of 
accident usually associated with dirt 
tacks at less than half these speeds 

Three weeks later, Sneva is recovering 
from his burns and practicing to qualily 
for the 500 at Pocono when I talk to 
him on the telephone. "It was like 
dream," he tells me. "We watched. the 
"EV replays and it looked like it was all 
happening to somebody else. We passed 
Rasmussen in the first turn and thought 
we were by him in turn two. We glanced 
1 the mirrors and he wasn't there, 
he was right beside us and we saw that the 
wheels were going to touch. From there 


turns one and 


as if we were d 
lying in bed dreaming we were 
flying through the air upside down. 
After we first made contact with the 
wall, we don't remember anything till 
we woke up in the track hospital and 
wondered how the car was." I ask hi 
how it's going at Pocono and he tells 
me that the first day out he was pretty 
Ihe second day we started 
rd through the corners, but I 
t we weren't trying to 


prove anytl 
while" he concludes. "It makes 
realize you really could get hurt do 
this kind of thing." 

After Snev crash, the race begins 
an anticlimactic slide toward a rain- 
shortened conclusion. Dallenbach, who 
has maintained his lead, drops out 36 
laps later, claiming his air intakes have 
gouen clogged with litter from the 
wreckage, g him to burn a piston 
Some drivers have other theories about. 
what has caused the burned piston, but 
it is a sad end to what has been one of 
the most spectacular, come from behind 
drives in the history of the race. 


in trafhc. It takes a litile 
you 


The sky darkens radically, the wind 
begins to whip up hot-dog wrappers and 
dust devils in the infield and, within 
minutes, the 500 has been transformed 
into a hydroplane race. The checkered 
and red flags appear simultaneously and 
cars spume rooster tails trying to make the 
start-finish line. There are multiple and 
relatively harmless spins and crashes, cars 
sliding, looping lazily down the straights, 
up the pit lane and through the corners. 
It is Bobby Unsers good fortune to be 
leading when the sky splits open and, in a 
delicate ballet with his now tractionless 
tires, he creeps toward the start-finish 
line. There are 96 more laps that will 
never be run and theories and arguments 
by and for Rutherford and Foyt that, had 
the race run its full course, they certainly 
would have won. It is the luck of the 
draw. It’s made heroes and corpses with- 
out discreti 

Back in my motel room, I fix myself a 
drink and watch the rain pour down onto 
the policemen channeling the postrace 
traflic onto 16th Street. I notice that the 
hair on the back of my arms has been 
singed. It balls and crumbles off like 
melted plastic. This month in 
Indianapolis seems like an abruptly ended 
dream. Two weeks from now, most of 
these drivers will be racing at Milwaukee 
and ii t much matter who has won 
today. The race has been important only 
because 350,000 paying spectators and 
millions more by their radios and TV 
sets have, by agreement, made it so. But 
now it is all over and anot 
is in force. The follow 
section will carry the news that the Golden 
State Warriors have beaten the Washing- 
ton Bullets for the National Basketball 
Association championship and the cover 
of Sports Illustrated will carry a picture of 
Billy Martin, “Baseball's Fiery Genius.” 
L have an autographed picture of the 
winner for my son and I'm beginning to 
get drunk. 

The next morning, there's a photo- 
graph of Sneva's crash on the front page 
of The Indianapolis Star and 1 recognize 
my own figure, fleeing ignominiously from 
the flames. On my way to the airport, I 
drive past the Speedway and all I can see 
is litter, two feet deep, in every visible 
tunnel. passageway and concourse, more 
than 6,000,000 pounds of it. 1 stop for a 
red light and notice one more thing: the 
corpse of a huge tomcat lying next to 
the chain-link fence. Someone has con 
siderately propped its head up on a 
crushed beer can and crossed its paws in 
repose. "There's my story, 1 thought. After 
25 years of listening and dreaming, I've 
seen my first Indianapolis 500 and this 
is the one picture that will stick. Another 
great event chronicled in trash, another 
discarded container. 


whole 


This is our most expensive number The HP-810. Describing 
whatit has that makes it sound so good requires technical talk. 
If you know the jargon, re 
and hear what we mean. 

The HP-810 has components like the acclaimed Dual 1211 
changer which operates either automatcally or manually. 
Theresa magnetic stereo cartridge with a diamond stylus. And 
a cueing device plus anti-skating compensation to protect your 

ecords from life's bumps, grinds, and scratches 

Theres an amplifier powerful enough, so if you really want 


on. Or you can simply listen to it, 


to, you can let all your neighbors know you have Sonys finest 
compact. Without even inviting them over. 

The HP-8IOS FM tuner has a Field Effect Transistor (FET), 
which picks up weak signals, yet minimizes interference on 
Strong ones. 

Finally with Son \coustic-suspension speakers, your ears 
hear what theyre meant to hear. Lov lows, high highs and 
everything in between 

The Sony HP-810. Our very best compact stereo. We don't 
know how to make it look better Or sound better 


BEAUTY IS IN THE 
EAR OF THE BEHOLDER. 


nr-810 


E i 
hi 7 F 


5 
q 


A 


Model Hr SO Compact Steren System © 1975 Sony Corp cf America SONY is a trademark cf Sony Corp. 


“ITS A SONY” 


188 


ENTERTAINMENT 


SECOND SIGHT 


After more than a decade of re- 
search, Philips and MCA are about 
to bring out Disco-Vision, a playback 
system for video discs that attaches to 
the antenna leads of your TV set (the 
audio tracks can go through your 
sound system if you want better quali- 
ty). Philips will produce the player. 
MCA will produce the discs and do the 
programing (the majority from ma- 
terial, such as The Sting, already 
owned by Universal, an MCA subsidi- 
ary). The player itself, expected on the 
market in 1977, should retail for about 
$500, with a 30-minute video disc in 
the ten-dollar price range. 

Disco-Vision, which is being touted 
by Philips as a “new communications 
medium" and not just a video-play- 
back system to replace film or tape, 
operates on a unique principle. The 
metalliccoated disc (it looks like an 
LP thats becn painted Rolls-Royce 
gray) has grooves, or tracks, something 
like a record, except that they are far 
thinner and there are more of them 
(15,000 per inch, as compared with a 
conventional record's 200). The disc 
spins at about 1800 rpm or 30 turns 
a second. Each track represents one 
frame and 30 frames per second is 
the rate necessary to feed programing 
to the television screen. This informa- 
tion is retrieved by a helium-neon 
laser beam that “reads” a series of tiny 


TEC TAIN 


an insider's look at everything you need to know to keep 
up with, and flourish in, the latter part of the 20th century 


pits or bumps in the tracks. Light is 
reflected off the disc to a mirror, which 
in turn feeds the varying signals to a 
photo diode. These signals are then 
translated into sound and motion. 

In the demonstration. models, an 
arm, much like a tonearm, passes over 
the top of the record. Because some 
people may have a fear of lasers (this 
one is not dangerous), Philips will 
bring out its production model with the 
light source underneath, so that the 
disc will be played tracks down. It is 
recorded on onc side only, not because 
of a technical problem but because 
the disc is so cheap to manufacture 
(about 40 to 50 cents) that it is easier 
to use three 30-minute discs for a 
movie than to try to squeeze it all 
onto one record (also, the company 
sells you more discs). 

The fact that each track contains 
one frame gives freeze-frame capabil- 
ity. A select switch will allow the 
machine to read one track over and 
over, producing a stop-action effect. 
This presents the interesting possibil- 
ity of storing more than just movies. 
As in microfilm, each frame could be- 
come a page of a book, a painting in 
a gallery, a stolen document relating 
to national security or a gatefold from 
PLAYBOY. And there are 54,000 in- 
dividually selectable frames per disc. 
There are plans to produce a super- 
thin disc whose low production cost 
would allow it to be bound into a mag- 
azine. Hence, a sound-and-motion Play- 
mate of the Month. Newsweeh could 
show you newsreels Cosmo could put 
on fashion shows. And the Playboy 
Interview could be seen and heard in- 
stead of read—which brings up the 
subject of audio-only discs, also in the 
planning stage. 


The sound quality of Disco-Vision 
is far better than that of current re- 
cording systems. The incredible den- 
sity of information on the disc would. 
allow 100-track music or 500 hours of 
stereo recorded on a single side. Disco- 
Vision may, indeed, turn out to be a 
whole new communications medium. 


A SHOCKING STATE 


For years, the Navy has been secretly 
working on turning one of our states 
into a giant radio antenna, Sound like 
science fiction? It gets better. Project 
Scafarer (earlier known as Project 
Sanguine) has been kicking around 
top-secret Pentagon corridors since 
the Fifties. The idea is that_with a 
giant broadcasting antenna (it would 
cover between 2000 and 4000 square 
miles), in the event of nuclear war, 
when all other communications may be 
knocked out, the Navy could bounce 
very-low-frequency radio waves off un- 
derground rock formations to com- 
municate with submarines lying deep 
beneath the oceans. (The fact that the 
most important subs, Tridents, aren't 
even built yet doesn't bother the 
Navy) It’s a brilliant idea, but the 
effects could be disastrous. Extremely 
high voltages have been shown by some 
investigators to be harmful to almost 
every form of life (we aren’t sure how 
much voltage will be needed by Sea- 
farer. The Navy is currently daiming 
5700 volts. Earlier reports had it as 
high as 14,000 volts). Soviet studies of 
the effects of powerful electrical fields 
on the human body turned up symp- 
toms of instability of pulse and blood 
pressure, tremors of the arms and legs 
and sweating. Diminished virility was 


reported by about a third of the sub- 
jects. Perhaps less harmful but certainly 
more bizarre is the fact that fields of 
such strength induce electric current 
in almost anything made of metal. If 
you park your car under some of the 
765,000-volt lines we have in this coun- 
try, you can get a hefty shock by touch- 
ing your fender. The Seafarer antenna 
could turn Cyclone fences into live 
wires, The Navy was at one point 
studying the feasibility of grounding 
metal objects in whichever state it 
chose. The official Government bro- 
chure on the project, released after 
the information leaked and the public 
began protesting, states, “The results 
[of studies] showed no significant 
adverse effects on humans, animals, 
plants or microorganisms at field levels 
planned to be used.” The Navy is also 
daiming that the installation of hun- 
dreds of miles of underground cable 
would not have an ellect on ecology 
nor mar the natural beauty of the land- 
scape. This is what is known in military 
circles as an outright lie. 

Since the public began protesting, 
Seafarer has tried to find a home, the 
two most desirable spots being Wis- 
consins north woods and Michigan's 
Upper Peninsula, both of which have 
resisted vigorously. New Mexico and 
Nevada are also under consideration, 
though they, too, will probably protest. 
And finally, since the Soviets don’t ask 
their citizens what they want the mili- 


BIOCHEMISTRY 


tary to do or not do, we probably have 
already developed a Zap Cap. 


A SHOT IN THE DARK 


A number of scientists, among them 
Georges Ungar of Baylor College of 
Medicine in Houston, have reported 
success in what has become known 
(perhaps inaccurately) as chemical 
transfer of learning. They trained 
normally nocturnal rats to be afraid 
of the dark. Then they isolated scoto- 
phobin, a peptide from the brain, and 
injected it into normal, untrained rats. 
The shot immediately made the rats 
afraid of the dark. In another test, 
extracts from the brains of rats that 
had been trained to run a maze were 
injected into untrained rats. These 
animals then learned to run an identi- 
cal maze far quicker than untreated 
ones, indicating that the chemical car- 
ried learned information about the 
maze. Interestingly, the injection didn't 
help the rats run any maze except the 
one learned carlier by the subjects from 
which the peptide was taken, indicating 
a high degree of specificity for these 
chemicals. These admittedly prelimi- 
nary studies of the chemical nature of 
learning and memory offer some intri- 
guing possibilities. At least six other 
learning substances have been detected 
and some of them have been isolated. 
But even the most brilliant scientists 


GEOLOGY 
— —— 


sometimes have a boring tendency to 
test for such things as fear of the dark 
(who wants to learn that?) and the tend- 
ency of fish to orient themselves to a 
certain color. It might be more inter- 
esting to try for a dog-housebreaking 
peptide. Or, looking ahead to greater. 
advances, an injection from someone 
who can run 250 balls in a game of 


straight pool. 


RARE EARTH 


While a great deal of emphasis has 
been placed on conserving fossil fuels, 
our supplies of other essential mate- 
rials have been diminishing. The U.S. 
Geological Survey released a 1975 re- 
port predicting that by the year 2000, 
the U.S. will be 100 percent depend- 
ent on foreign sources for 12 essential 
materials, most of them occurring in 
mincrals. We now import 90 percent of 
our manganese, cobalt, chromium, tita- 
nium, niobium, strontium and sheet 
mica. Ninety-six percent of our alu- 
minum ore comes from foreign sources 
and 100 percent of our tin has to be 
imported. Without tin there would 
be no “tin” cans (actually, tin-plate 
metal), solders, bearing alloys, bronze 
or brass. Ultimately, total "energy" 
independence appears to be impos- 
sible without the outlay of staggering 
(and unavailable) sums of 
money for mining and refining. [Y] 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY JEAN-CLAUDE SUARES 


189 


PRIVATE EYES 
(continued from page 123) 
Europe during the 17th Century, the tele- 
scope immediately began to unlock the 
secrets of the heavens. Galileo's first 
telescope—a primitive instrument. com- 
prised of two lenses (convex and cor 
cave) separated by a tube—aided in 
destroying the popular philosophy that a 
stationary earth stood at the center of 
a revolving cosmos. 
Although the telescopes pictured here 
probably aren't going to enable you 
to make any history-changing astronom- 
ical discoveries, they are great fun to 
gaze through. One peek and you'll find 
that that old devil moon is quite a ball 
of light; and when you finally tear your 
ches away to zero in on one of the plan- 
ets—by Jupiter!—the sight even beats 
reruns of Star Trek. (Jupiter, incidentally, 
is an especially good subject, as the pl 
et’s visual detail is exceptionally cl 
nd its atmospheric features usually 
within the span of a night's viewing.) 
You may wish to invest your money in 
refractor telescope if you're just ge 
ting into stargazing. It uses one optical 
clement—the objective lens—to locus 
light into a small image and a second 
lens (commonly known as the eyepiece) 
to magnify that image. Refractors come 
in all shapes and sizes; many offer zoom 
ability that will whisk you from, say, 
a wide, bright 20X (20 to 1 magnification 
power) to the detailed close-up of 45X. 
Models with 24- and threcinch aper- 
tures are readily available; biggies with. 
fourinch apertures usually must be spe- 
cial-ordered from a manufacturer. 
Reflector telescopes (often called New- 
tonians) are large tubeshaped instru- 
ents that have an eyepiece mounted 
near the aperture. They're ideal for a 
serious exploration of the night sky. Re- 
flectors feature a primary objective mir- 
ror that receives light and reflects it to a 
smaller secondary mirror called a diag- 
onal. This second mirror, tipped at a 
5-degree angle, reflects the image pro- 
duced by the primary mirror to an eye- 
piece that then magnifies it. 
Reflectors call for a bit more im 
refractors, as the Newto- 
ian open-tube design allows dust and 
film to collect on optical surfaces that 
must, occasionally, be cleaned. Another 
very slight drawback is that the alumi- 
num coating on the reflector's exposed 
mirror surfaces may deteriorate over the 
years, necessitating a recoating. The re- 
flector, however, makes up for these 
slight inconveniences by providing the 
owner with a truly wondrous view of 
the heavens that’s relatively inexpensive. 
There's also a third, more complicated 
type of telescope on the market called 
catadioptric, which essentially com. 
bines the features of both refractors and 
reflectors, In brief, catadioptrics amplify 
190 light rays entering the scope by an 


PLAYBOY 


in- 


DL LZ 


1. An 80mm spotting scope with a 45-degree prismatic revolving quadruple eyepiece holder 
featuring 20X, 30X, 40X ond 60X eyerieces ond helical fine-facus control; comes with a felt- 
lined quick-release clamp, sturdy tabletop tripod with vertical and horizontal fasl-molion clamps 


ond a wood carrying case, by Ur 


tran Scientific, $215. 2. Bushnell's lightweight Spocemaster I 


zaam telescope is perfect for rugged field use; a large 60mm objective lens is coupled with a zaam 
that moves from a wide, bright 20X to the detailed clase-up of 45X, $194.50 without mounting. 3. 


For viewing heavenly bodies (the solar type), there's the Solarama Refractor, a 600X 80mm. 


stru- 


ment featuring a 1200mm focal length that lets you zero in on even faint double stars, by Tasca, 
$699.95 with tripod ond hardwood carrying case. 4. The Terra Refractor all-purpose viewing scope 
comes equipped with a 20X-60X zoom that lets you zero in on the heavens or distant landscapes 
thigh-rises, too), alsa by Tasco, $199.95, 5. The eight-inch clear cperture of Celestron B collects 
510 times as much light as the uncided eye and permits magnifications ranging from 50X te 500X, 
by Celestron Pacific, $895, including a carrying case, 6. For antique buffs, there's the Ollway 
Gunsighter-Scope, a brass 7X 50mm qun-sighting instrument used for spotting during World 
Wars One and Two that comes with a waod-and-bross tripod, from Arthur Court Designs, $595. 


involved lens/mirror partnership. The re- 
sult is an instrument that offers optimum 
viewing and exceptional compactness— 
ie case in point being the Celestron 8 
pictured here, which collects 510 times 
as much light as the unaided eye and 
permits magnifications ranging from 50X 
to 500X. 

Now that you've got an idea of what 
types of telescopes you'll w 
sider when making a purchase, let's t; 
a closer look at their optical prope 
First, theres something called light- 
gathering ability. This simply means that 
the more light that’s gathered through 
a objective lens, the brighter the image 
you'll sce. Light-gathering ability breaks 
down to the following easy-to-remember 
formula: Each time you double the diam- 
eter of the objective lens, you increase 
the light-gathering ability fourfold. 

Resolving power is the ability of a 
telescope to separate heavenly bodies 
that are very close together. Poor resolv- 
ing power may show two distant stars as 
a blob of light: an instrument with high- 
er-quality resolve will separate them into 
distinct pin points. 

Most telescopes—especially the import- 
ed ones—come with a skyful of impres- 
sive accessories, often neatly housed in a 
handsome wooden box that can be left 
out on display or stashed in a closet. 
And almos ] models include a handy 
little 5X or 6X telescope called a finder 


that's permanently mounted on the side 
of the instrument. The purpose of the 
finder is just what the name implies; its 
wide field of vision helps you locate 
celestial objects much more easily than 
you could with the big scope. 

Other accessories that may be indud- 
ed with your unit are: eyepieces for low, 
medium and high magnifications; a Bar- 
low lens, which doubles or triples the 
magnification of cach eyepiece; a star 
diagonal that will enable you to zero 
on objects directly overhead; an erect- 
ing prism that rights the upside-down 
images refractor models originally pro- 
duce; a sun sarcen and a moon filter. 

There arc also some truly nifty option- 
al goodies on the market in the form of 
clock drives that rotate the telescope 
along its polar axis at the rate of one 
revolution per day. All the clock drives 
we know of use 110-volt A.C. power and 
allow for fine-motion adjustments by 
means of control knobs. 

A word about spotting scopes: These 
and most inexpensive ref models 
aren't powerful enough for sky watching, 
but they will prov 
of the apartment just across the way. 

By now, we hope you're as turned on 
to telescopes as we 
ny heavenly bodies that we mig! 
nterested in, be sure to let us know. 


n 


tor 


New from Motorola... 
the hot cassettes with the hot button 


If you want the stereo cassette for your car that 
has everything, check out one of these new 
Motorolas. 

Each is a complete entertainment center 
with AM/FM Stereo Radio and each has 
POW-R:BOOST®. Hit this hot button and it boosts 
the sound level and enhances the highs. Makes 
dynamite sound a blast and a half! 

And that's just the beginning. You name it and 
Motorola's got it...fast forward with mute and 
cuing...slide bar switching for AM/FM...car- 
tridge activated tape/radio switch. Why settle for 
just a stereo cassette when Motorola gives you 
one in a complete entertainment center. 

See and hear the new cassettes at your nearest 
Motorola dealer. 


POM H BOOST makes dynamite sound 
a blast and a halt! 


Limited One Year Warranty 
Motorola warrants that it will correct product defects 
during the first year following your purchase . . . you 
merely have to take your record of purchase and 
your Motorola car stereo to one of our authorized 
stations. 

There are thousands of Motorola authorized war- 
ranty stations covering all 50 states to help keep 
your Motorola sound on wheels sounding just right. 

Complete warranty details are packed with each 
unit. Ask your Motorola dealer to show them to you 
and read them carefully. 


MOTOROLA 


SOMETHING ELSE in sound on wheels 


191 


PLAYBO 


192 panying thi 


GREAT WHALE BATTLE 


species, such as the dolphin, porpoise and 
orca (“killer whale"), that have been in- 
vestigated. Cetologists, while encouraged 
by such experiments, feel that the true 
test of the whale’s intellect can be made 
only in its natural surroundings and 
must involve sufficient numbers so that 
the modes of communal beha n be 
observed. 

“Teaching a killer whale to jump 
through a hoop," says Moore sourly, 
"only shows the limits of the teacher's 
imagination. We have to let the whales 


i 
teach us, which means listening, watch- 
ing and uying to understand what sort of 
life they have among one another." 

The study of a pod of whales in the 
open sea is, of course, a difficult under- 
taking. Nevertheless, even the casual ob- 
vations of whalers over the years have 
led to certain general conclusions about 
the whale'sabi telligence 
among members of its group and to show 
forms of complex social behavior, ranging 
from play to elaborate patterns of defense 
ast attack. The sperm whale, whose 
gest of any animal's on 


pparent intelligent actions, some of 
which seemed quite malevolent to those 
who hunted it in the last century. R. 
of Moby Dick know how pal 
ville felt the emanations of intelligence 
from this particular whale to be yet how 
deep a mystery its workings were to man: 


lers 


Genius in the Sperm Whale? Has 
the Sperm Whale ever written a 
book, spoken a speech? No, his great 
genius is declared in his doing noth- 
r to prove it. 

Champollion deciphered the wrin- 
kled granite of hieroglyphics. But 
there is no Champollion to decipher 
the Egypt of every . . being's face .. . 
how may unlettered Ishmael hope 
to id the awful Chaldee of the 
Sperm Whales brow? I put that 
brow before you. Read it if you can. 


The whale's intelligence has become a 
major element in the promulgation of 
the Greenpeace cause. In press releases 
and letters, whether sent to the heads of 
government or to the principals of grade 
schools, there is always great emphasis 
placed on the intelligence of the endan- 
gered whales, and therefore on their 
closeness to the human species. So much, 
in fact, is made of the whale's cerebral 
powers that, according to the delicate 
ethics of the ecological movement, it has 
been felt by some that the campaign has 
been tainted with elitism. 

We've had to remind people and our- 
selves that it isn’t all right to kill stupid 
animals" Rod Marining says, accom- 
remark with a soft burst of 


(continued from page 102) 

laughter and a perplexed expression. Be- 
sides being Walrus’ helper in the galley, 
Marining is the official Greenpeace press 
secretary and publicist, and the mixture 
of bafllement and melancholy humor in 
his manner is most likely the result of his 
having sent forth thousands of pleas, pro- 
posals and ultimatums into the world 
only to see them disappear into si 
Ol course, many of the communiqués 
he’s dispatched on behalf of Greenpeace 
tend to baflle the reader into reticence. 
Here, for example, are two press releases 
sent on successive days to the wire serv- 


ices of the world from the Phyllis Cor- 
mack, somewhere at sea: 
The Greenpeace Foundation, in 


its effort to protect the whale from 
the inhumanity of commercial cx- 
ploitation and slaughter, demands 
t the governments of the United 
ida protect its expe- 
the event that hostile ac- 
taken inst i 


tion is 


‘The Greenpeace Foundation cate- 
gorically rejects and  disassociates 
itself from the statement of the previ- 
ous day. We will not be turned into 
political or military tool. 


Such radical shifts and re-evaluations 
of policy might be expected from the 
former head of the Northern Lunati 
age of the Yippie Party, the Canadian 
branch of that antic and social move- 
ment that enlivencd the politics of the 
Sixties. M. ag, however, asseris that 
he has become much more serious and 
subdued than he was in the days of the 
d though he still wears his hair 
ponytail and clothes that are 
a patchwork of Yippie fashions, he does 
scem, like many of the Greenpeace crew, 
to have been worn down by past cr 
sades, not to the point of indifference 
but to that state of reasonable dedica: 
in which one no longer needs flamboy- 
ant uniforms of rebellion, 

Lying on deck curled in a sleeping bag, 
wining sees Walrus begin to collect 
the vegetables for the evening meal from 
the storage bins about the boat. He twists 
himself slowly out of g and, 
dragging the bag behind him, sets off 
toward the galley. However, he pauses for 
a moment to scrutinize an albatross that 
has been a lonely follower of the Coi 
mack for several days. The bird had been 


n 


sitting quietly on the water, but as the 
boat passes by, it spreads its wings and 
begins the long, d, splatting run 


it needs on a windless day to become 
airborne. Looking like a nervous clergy- 
man running through puddles i 
loshes, it is hardly a beautiful study in 
animal grace. Neverthele: : 
long, doleful profile shapes itself into 


pleasurable wonder as he watches the 
awkward beginning resolve into graceful 
flight. That night he will send out sev- 
eral dispatches praising the animal world 
and excoriating human beings who obl 
erate pheasants or pose for pictures 
standing proudly alongside a suffocated 
fish. 


It docs not occur to one, until after 
spending a good amount of time at sca, 
that the tradition of keeping a ship's log 
is based on something deeper than the 
need for records. The log, with its care- 
ful entries of time and location, its 
carrying forth in narrative fashion thc 
day-to-day life aboard ship, provides a 
linear structure to the time at sea, a sense 
of chronological purpose i ression 
that man generally fecls is the proper 
way to keep his experience tidy. How- 
ever, the usual ways of measuring and 
ordering the past are difficult to impose 
on the long, repetitious rhythms of a se 
voyage, especially one without specific 
destination. The sameness of the ¢ 
shipboard rituals; the. single, encircling 
horizon that makes all points of view 
alike; the swells and sounds of the ocean 


that mock the keeping of calendars—all 


work against the serialized c: 
obtains on land, and despite logs and 
journals, events blend together and be- 
come a mosaic of simultaneous scenes in 
the mind. 

During the first weeks of the voyag 
there are frequent changes in the cr 
some leave from boredom, others because 
they've been found by Hunter wanting 
in cither the skills or the attitudes neces- 
sary for the purposes of the voyage. But 
there are always recruits waiting to join 
whenever the Phyllis Cormack enters a 
port. Gary Zimmerman is one. An oc 
nographer, he comes on board with diving 
equipment, underwater cameras and a 
ge shark cage he has built himself 
nd from which he hopes to photograph 
ious members of the suborder Squal 
as they encircle and close in on a dead 
or wounded whale. It will also be his 
job, should Hunter's plan to sit in spirit- 
ual protest on the back of a whale come 
to pass, to escort him to the sanctuary. 
of the underwater cage if the sharks 
increase in number and frenzy to the 
point where both the whale and its apos- 
tle become objects of a furious communal 
appetit 

When Zimmerman talks of blues, h 
merheads, makos, grays, white 
and wobbegongs, it is in the matter Of. 
fact rhetoric of one who has made these 
monsters part of the practical experience 
of his profession. His boyish, hand- 

ome features remain set in a look of stu- 
spect as he imparts to the crew 
endless information on the manneri: 
and habits of that order of a 


tence u 


“Well, I'll be! . .. Walt Comstock! .. . B Company, ‘fifty-five! 


What brings you to this neck oj the woods?" 
193 


PLAYBOY 


194 


ikely to cause any ecological concern for 

safety and preservation. 
As the days pass, Zimmerman takes his 
place in the frieze of shipboard life, as 
do the three photographers who, in the 
making of a documentary of the Green- 
peace voyage, began by being everywhere 
at once about the ship, filming all tha 
moved or spoke, but who now are part of 
the general static attitudes the crew mem- 
bets become as they wait and watch for 
some sign of good omen, some activating 
signal t e not adrift in quiet 
illusions about. their ability to effect a 
fateful moment in such a vast and empty 
area of the ocean. 

And then, finally, it happens. The tab. 
Icau of daily routine splinters into figures 
of action. Whales are sighted. A pod of 


“Jane, it's a fuckin’ jungle out there. 


a half dozen grays is seen heaving 
gracefully through the water a mile or 
so off the starboard bow. Everyone 
scurries into a position to observe the 
rise and fall of the whales’ huge slatc- 
colored backs as Cormack carefully 
angles the boat in order to close the dis- 
tance between it and ine moving pod. 

e Trueman, the one woman aboard 

ack, a professional diver whose 
for the whale is n 


ther seni 


nor militant, and who, in fact, 
agrees with the official Greenpeace 
position that all whaling need be pro- 


scribed for a ten-year period, climbs to 
the highest point on the mast to look 
and holler with delight as the grays 
churn the water and spout the breath 
into a vapor that creates, as it often 


does in an early-morning light, the arc 
of a rainbow over them. Carlie cies 
out in wonder and all the instruments 
aboard ship, from flute to synthesizer, 
offer their particular tribute. 

The whales, however, are not indis- 
criminate music lovers. The more rau- 
cous tone clusters of the synthesizer and 
the rock song sent out through the under- 
water speakers do not inspire an enthu- 
siastic response from the grays, which 

ender their judgment by submerging 
and reappearing after many minutes at a 
location far from the source of the con- 
cert. “They are classicists,” Korotva says, 
and, sure enough, excerpts from Beetho- 
ven's Fifth Symphony dicit a happy 
response; the whales draw nearer and 
their movements calm into an appre 
tive glide almost in tempo with the mu 
Further experiments show that the gray 
whales’ taste runs to a clear melodic line. 
with or without complicated harmonic 
embellishment. Beethoven or a simple 


ballad sung, summed or fluted will keep 


them into a critical brood deep benen 
the surface. 

Once the whales are used to the sounds 
and sight of the Cormack, they permit 
themselves to be followed and observed, 
and occasionally they raise their larg: 
whitespotted heads from the water, 
if to return the curiosity and interest 
of their new acquaintances. The Zodiacs 
are sent out for closer contact and u- 
tiously circle nearer and nearer the pod, 
practicing the maneuvers they will exe- 
cute when there is a t arty involved 
in the meeting, pretending for now 1 
the Phyllis Cormack is a whaling attack 
boat and that they must keep between it 
and the grays so tha 


small rubber boats in order to strike and 


explode in its victi The closer the 
Zodiacs can stay to the whales, the less 


increase the danger to the Zodiac oco 
pints but will also, it is hoped, increase 
the reluctance of the whaling captain to 
give an order to fire. 

However, after an hour or so, the joy 
of sharing the sea with such marvelous 
creatures begins to take precedence over 
the grim practice of tactics. A desire to 
frolic asserts itself, a wish to sport and 
play with these great creat 
a mutual fecling of trust 
Those on the Cormack’s deck watch, a 
little apprehensively, as a greater am 
greater intimacy is established. between 
the whales and the Zodiac crews, until 
finally the boat driven by Hunter pulls 

x distance of a gray. Paul 
Watson, one of the more physically ad- 
venturous members of the crew, a stocky, 
ded young man who, according to 


an oi 


Voulez-vous prendre 
un verre avec moi? 


Black &White Scotch. s 


Black & White. Its how you say fine scotch in 168 countries. If C 
And it all began in 1884. 3 


E 


The Moscow Mule. K 


off and 7UP®} 


(Smi 
Over the years it has become em 


clear that there are several schools 
of thought as to just what goes 
into a Moscow Mule. Besides 
the Smimoff. 
There are the gingerbeerists. 
The gingeraleites. And the 
7UP loyalists. As for ourselves, 
we hate to take sides. 
We did, however, publish the 
TUP recipe some years ago, 
and it caught on so well that 
it seems a good idea to To make a Moscow Mule, 
repeat it here. We only hope pour 1% oz. Smirnoff into 
that whichever way you make A tall glass or mug with ice. 
the Moscow Mule, you'll handle Fill with N 


it with appropriate caution. e 4 
It gets its name, after all, from mimoff 
an animal with a kick. leaves you breathless® 


Hunter, has promised to put his body on 
the line for the 
to try to climb aboard its back. He slips 
once, and then again. When he slides off 
for the third time, the whale's tail, a 
magnificent fanlike triangle of fuk 
rises from the water and then strikes the 
surface with an admonishing splash that 
sends thc Zodiac carecuing backward 
id spray and foam. The intimacy ha 
gone too far and a maidenly slap has 
signified an end to such improper ad- 
vances. For a while longer, the pod is 
followed, but since they are gray whales, 
internationally protected. migra 
north for the summer feeding, they will 
lead to no meeting with Russian whale 
fleets. Cormack signals th. 
get back on course, the Zodiacs return 
and, pleasurably exhausted by the expe- 
ience, the crew watches as the whales, 
still spouting their rainbow, roll on out 
of sight 

At night, around the galley, there 
arc long. awed discussions and specu- 
lation about cetaceans. The less experi- 
enced ask excited questions, the more 
nowledgeable tell stories of sperms, 
humpbacks, bowheads and blues. The dif- 
ferences between the Mysticeti, or baleen 
whales, and the Odontoceti, toothed 
whales, are discussed: how the former 
strain plankton through the baleen slats 
in their mouths, an almost continuou; 
process of placid feeding that keeps them 
always near the surface of the water; how 
a toothed whale, like the sperm, will 
dive to a depth of 600 or 700 meters in. 
order to feed on its favorite dish, the 
iant sea squid. 

Since it will most likely be the sperm 
whale that will be involved in a con- 
frontation with whalers, there e as 
many stories tokl about it on the Cor- 
mack as Ishmael heard in tose "spout- 
" and "gamming s that took. 
place during the Pequod's voyage—how 
eed, a Moby Dick, actually 
called Mocha Dick by 19th Century 
whalemen, who not only wrought havoc 
on the chase boats that pursued it but 
nd caused the sinking of 
ships as well; how when 
a sperm whale is wounded, others in the 
will become 
immediately sensitive to its agony and 
go to assist it; and how herds of this 
species once could be seen that num 
bered in the thousands, so that the water 
for as far as the eye scanned became one 
vast scape of moving whales 


It is now some seven weeks since the 
Phyllis Cormack left Vancouver, but the 
crew's mood is one of high-spirited an- 
ticipation. Sometimes the moments of 
elation take a mysteriously whimsical 
turn, as when Gregory. during his turn 
the ship's wheel, begins following 
the moon, finding it a more beau 
indicator of direction than the 


COCHRAN! 


“I don't mean to brag, but I have to 
use prescription condoms. ..“ 


heading on the ship's compass. Roaring 
vectives but laughing in spite of l. 
self, Captain John drags Gregory by the 
l from behind the wheel when he 
s aesthetic na 
en them almost five de- 


gation has ta 
grecs off cour 

However, the energics are put to hard 
practical uses also. A record of the Rus- 
sian whaling fleet's daily position fo 
the past two years when it was in this 
arca of the Pacific is the one piece of 
practical intelligence on which Hunter 
and Cormack pin their hopes to reduce 
the odds against an encounter. How 
Greenpeace obtained this record is a 
secret, but it does add a feeling of reality 
to their quest, and long sessions are spent 
studying and transferring its informa- 
tion to chars and maps and then col- 
lating these n ings with the Russian 
positions given by the last radio contacts. 
Everyone with nautical exper 
board then contributes an n on 
the heading most likely to lead to a sight- 
ing of the whaling fleet, These are still 
guesses, of course, but they are looked on 
as becoming more and more edu 
with each daily addition of i 

“In a way, I wish it didn't have to be 
the Russi ys Moore. “You know, 
lot of people are going to sce us as 
defenders of the free world nst 
communisn 

“Bur if it were Japanese," Marining 
adds, “then we'd have the racial prob- 
lem." He nods at a cartoon of the Green- 
peace members guarding a submerged 
whale from a Japanese boat that sports 
an evillooking, slant-eyed. jaundiced fig- 
ure behind a harpoon gun and reminds 
the others how many objections from 
groups normally sympathetic to Green- 


have been received about this 
ure, 
“IE only Rhodesia were a whaling na- 


Hunter si could all be 


tion al 
good guys and bad guys 


„eilen 


Moore is the first to witness the con. 
firmation of their faith: n 
catcher boats and a huge 
named the Vostok. It is 9:30 in the morn 
ing and the whaling vessels have appeared 
as though a rendezvous w 
had been prearranged. The crew 
the deck and stares at the outlines of the 
merchant ships, impressed and a little 
subdued by their size and number. But 
then jubilance grows over the fact that 
their mission has achieved at least half 
its purpose: and now if through per 
sion or per ade they can press 
the Russi into abandoni 
their hunt altogether. . . . 

“Well, I speak to them,” says Korot- 
contacting the Vostok by radio, 
and you can forget persuasion. I told 
them who we are, that we are not decia- 
dent bourgeois sentimentalists, that we 
believers in the brotherhood of life 
and all th; 

A silence follows as everyone waits for 
him to form the Russians’ answer. Korot- 
va thinks for a moment, shrugs and gi 
the most practical interpretation of the 
Vostok's response. 

l, ‘Fuck you! 


ne Russian 


lation is 
her hunting ships begin to move away at 
a good pace from the Cormack. Captain 
John, however. who does not relish being 
snubbed on the high seas, vows not to 
lose them and sets out in pursuit. For 
hours, the Russians try to clude him, but 
somehow, even though the Cormack is a 
slightly slower vessel, they never suc- 
ceed, always finding that, no matter how 
an odd 
boat. blaring mu- 
sic 1 messages from its speak- 
ers, pops up to block their path 

Suddenly, the pattern of flight and 
pursuit changes. One of the chase boats 
g toward che Cormack, an 
ion that puzzles and excites the crew. 
They debate whether this new maneuver 


they rush on or double L 


black. 


195 


threatening or simply means that the 
Russians desire a face-to-face parley. Soon 
however, they realize that the Russians 
erest lies in the water, a large yellow 
pole and buoy marking its position. It is 
a dead sperm whale, probably killed the 
previous day and left while the Russians 
pursued others of its pod. Now a boat is 
being sent to pick up the carcass and tow 
it to the factory ship. 

For a moment, the sight of the whale 


PLAYBOY 


causes stunned disgust and anger aboard 
the Cormack and there is no thought of 
using its mutilated back as an altar for 
g the Gospel of ecology. Nor is 


preachi 
there any time. The chase boat fastens 
a towline to the body and moves off in 
seconds and there is nothing leſt to do 
but try to revive the crews. spirits with 
some tunes from the musicians. 

Since harvesting the dead whale has 
used the Russians to slow down, the 
Cor k can now follow the chase boat 
at close range, remaining alongside at an 
even pace, so that the crews of cach ship 

1 dearly see and acknowledge each 
other. The Russian sailors look pleasant- 
ly befuddled by the appearance of the 
rainbow warriors and they laugh and 
wave as Gregory, Jackson and others sing 
about whales while Korotva shouts about. 
their mission through a megaphone. How- 
ever, as they near the factory ship. an 
officer appears on deck, the sailors stiffen 

nd all gregariousness disappears from 
their manner. ‘Che whale is hoisted on a 
winch onto the Vostok, where the process 
of its reduction into commercial commod- 
ities immediately begins. 

“The smell,” Moore sa 
there in that smell.” 

And, indeed, the odor emitted from the 
floating factory makes the Cormack back 
away, but it soon is again dogging the 
Russian boats as they move on to con 
clude the day's business. 

That conclusion, which has most lik 
ly been transmitted to them by their 
sonar equipment, is a group of six sperm 
whales, which they and the Cormack sight. 
at almost the same time. One of the at 
ack boats immediately begins pulling 
head from its sister ships, and this 
brupt action means it is time for 
crew to seriously obstruct the killing. The 
Zodiacs are dropped over the side; Hunt- 
er and Watson leap into one and a cam- 
era team into another. They get off in a 
few seconds, skimming actoss the water 
at an angle that will cross in front of the 
whaler. While the camera boat hangs 
back, Hunter's gets directly ahead of the 
Russian's bow and then uses its sup: 
speed to move off straight line to- 
ward the whales. It gets as close to the 
pod as possible, for the whales are now 
ert to the presence of danger and are 

moving with erratic, thrashing move- 
ments through the water. Each time their 
196 direction shifts slightly, the Zodi 


ys sadly. “It’s all 


he 


with them, and the Russian chase boat, 
in turn, changes its course, so that the 
angle of pursuit and protection remains 
constant. 

Then, with a comical breaking of the 
tension, the engine of Hunter's Zodiac 
stalls and the rubber boat, directly in 
the path of the oncoming ship, bobs 
helplessly up and down as Watson works 
furiously to restart the engine. Those 
watching from the Cormack are certain 
that the Russians will veer off their cous 
nt in order to avoid col. 
liding with the Zod 

But Korotva thinks otherwise. 

“They'll steam right over them," he 
says, and launches the last Zodiac with 
himself in it, an action he'd never intend 
ed taking, since, should he suffer an 
accident and capsize. he would most like- 
ly be hauled aboard the trawler and find 
himself back on Sovi itory, a pros 
pect of special dangers to him. 

Meanwhile, the captain of the Soviet 
ship is proving Korotva right. He stands 
solidly on the deck and observes his boat 
continue on a that will bisect 
Hunter's Zodiac. An instant before the 
collision occurs, a small swell from the 
wake of the bow lifts the Zodiac out of 
the way of harm, but the miss has been a 
matter of inches. The Russian cay 
smiles down at Hunter as they pass 
Hunter returns this sportive grin 
resigned shrug and a look that 


cours 


solves the incident of its apparent 
callousness. 
Korotva, however, is offering no ab 


solution to anyone. Picking up Hunter 
in his Zodiac, he soon overtakes the 
Russians and is well on to approaching 
the whale pod when the harpoon gun is 
fired, sending its missile and the inch- 
thick steel-centered cable to which it's 
attached. whistling over their heads. The 
harpoon enters and explodes in a female 
whale about 100 yards in front of the Zo- 
diac, and the lethal cable comes down no. 
more than ten feet to the right of ir. The 
struck whale jerks, convulses and, after 
spouting great clotted streams of blood, 
rolls slowly over and dies. Korotva circles 
in his Zodiac back from the blood spread- 
ing through the water and the attack 


boat slows down almost to a stop, as 


though drained of its playful mood by 
the whale's death. 

Then there is a sight that shames all 
that has gone before it. The male sperm 
of the pod, some 40 feet in length, 
breaches the water, lifting its entire body 
into the air as it twists to face the vessel 
that has killed its companion. It seems 
as if it might poise forever between water 
and sky, but then it re-enters its element 
with a sound and a turbulence that make 
one think the entire ocean 
cleaved. Its head 
rocious anger, it rushes toward its enemy, 
d during this charge, it seems that such 


mightiness of purpose and size must be 
capable of venting just retribution on the 
offending ship. But the steel hull of 
the ship survives its blow and a second 
harpoon, fired at point-blank range, ends 
itslife. 


"That evening, the Greenpeace crew is 
too dazed by what it has witnessed to 
think it has accomplished anything at all. 
Only gradually docs it realize that what 
was recorded on film might ultimately 
achieve what could not be done in one 
dramatic confrontation. And, indeed, 
Marining’s dispatches are no longer re- 
ceived with indifference. Wire services 
pick them up and television networks re- 
quest film footage and interviews. When 
the Phyllis Gormack docks in 
cisco, reporters and cameras are waiting 
at the pier, and it suddenly seems to the 
Greenpeace crew that reason, after 
all, to celebrate, for it has delivered on its 
promise, even if that deliverance has en- 
tailed a greater expense of spirit than 

reckoned on. Even Captain John 
aught up in the ebullient mood and 
affixes a feather to the seaman’s cap he 
has worn into stained shapelessness dur- 
ing the voyage. Wives, girlfriends and 
even a grandmother of one of the crew 
are at the docks to welcome the rainbow 


warriors, who for a few days have a well- 
deserved lively port of call in San 
Francisco. 


But their voyage is not over. They 
know how short the media's span of at- 
tention can be and they want to take 
advantage of this time in which every- 
thing they say will find an outlet. When 
it sails out of San Francisco, the Green- 
peace V expedition is teeming with prac- 
tical, hardhcaded strategics. But onc 
evening a rainbow scems to form its are 
solely about the length of the Phylli 
rmack and Hunter, overjoyed at the 
ight, jumps naked into the water. He is 
persuaded back on board without much 
trouble, but this act softens the mood of 
the voyage, so that it takes on some 
of its human contra nd moments 
of humor 

The crew of Greenpeace V will not, in 
fact, meet the Russians again, but they 
will be greeted. in port after port with 
the respect of fishermen and the affection 
of old and young believers in the defense 
of life, and they will be offered dinners, 
encouragement and even, on one oc 
sion, a bottle of celebratory champagne. 
They will also, early one evening, en- 
counter a group of orcas once described 
in a magazine artide as being "can- 
nibals" with “teeth the size of bayonets.” 
The Greenpeace crew will bring out their 
flutes and they and the orcas will keep 
happy company together until the long 
summer twilight of the North Pacific 


ends. 
Bg 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


16 mg, “tar,” 1.0 mg. nicotine, 
av. per cigarette, FIC Report Nov. 75 


PLAYBOY 


198 


PUNANTE OF Imt ZONK, 


looking for a young woman to pl 
major part in his latest film, Frauensta 
tion (the tentative English title is Doctor’s 
Dilemma), Some 300 candidates had been 
tested without producing the right gi 


She flew into 
h and performed in three of the 
al scenes from the movie. Thiele 


didn't even bother to develop the film 
but signed Lillian immediately, He told 
a reporter (roughly translated), “She will 
become at once very great with her wild 
talent.” 
Obviously, 


there is somethi 


g about 


Lillian that defies translation. She ra- 
diat mth, humor, intelligence and 

mare, she charmed readers 
across the country. As a fledgling actress 


in her first film, she charmed an entirely 
different audience. Her performance as 
the wife of a doctor (played by Horst 
Buchholz) drew raves from her fellow 
actors. Stephen Boyd, who costars in 
Frauenstation, was unrestrained in his 
praise of Lillian. “I have had the pleasure 
of working with the top women in the 
motion-picture profession. Brigite Bar- 
dot, Gina Lollobrigida, Sophia Loren, 
Elke Sommer, Raquel Welch. And I have 


the feeling that here is someone who can 
do what all of them did. She is Brigitte. 


She is Gina. She is Sophia. She is Elke. 
She is quel. She has the ability to hit 
heights that nc of the others ever 
dreamed of. She's only 21, but she's right 
there. She’s really exci 

Lillian is fast becoming the darling of 
the Continent since her debut in PLAY nov. 
She has appeared on the covers of many 
of Europe's leading magazines. Her life 
has been rather heaic lately, as she 
commutes between film assignments. in 
ope and Playmate promotion appe: 
ances in the U.S. (Become a gatcfold 
girl and sce the world.) For someone who 


(continued from page 133) 


only two years ago was living in the tiny 
village of Krist d, Norwa 
seems rem: t ease with the sud. 
den attention. "As a Playmate, I had 
learned what is like to stand before 
a camera, But acting is so much mor 

challenging than modeling. It uses 
morc of you. My first film gave me cour- 
age and confidence,” she admits. "Every- 
one was so helpful, from the little people 
to the biggest stars. Smiling, friendly. The 
offer for the first film had come, how do 
you say, out of the sky? I had no real 
training. Before I flew to Europe to 
start filming, 1 had time for only two 
cling lessons at Lee Strasberg's Theater 
Institute in Hollywood. Strasberg says 
that relaxation is 80 percent of acting. 
Well, for the first two weeks on the set, 
I was very nervous. But 1 would come 
up to do a scene and everyone on the 
et would look so quiet and so patient. 
5 10 shouting. Just talking nice and 
sit "Come on, now, let's do it.’ Some 
e quite difficult. In one, 
l had to cry—naturally, without the 
onion, you know. Everything went all 
right. The four weeks 1 spent working 
on the film were the most fantastic weeks 
in my life. It was like discovering a new. 
me. Now I’m hooked on movies. 1 want 
to be in as many pictures as possible. 
And not just beautiful or erotic faces. 
1 would like to take off my make-up and 


bly 


show what I look like when I get up in 


the mort 


ip. 


Even before she had finished filming 
Frauenstation, Lillian had signed a 


contract for a second film with director 
Thiele. In Rosemary's Daughter, the 
sequel to Rosemary, one of the most 
famous postwar German films (Luggi 
Waldleitner, who was Rosemary's pro- 
ducer, is also producing the sequel), 
Lillian plays the illegitimate offspring of 


3 


— 


ANA. 


“I hope you 


re satisfied! . 


- Yow've eaten me 


out of house and home!" 


the woman who had been mysteriously 
murdered. Lillian sets out to find the 
Killer and uncovers a 
dal in the gove 
ing role and resulted from her Playmate 
. "I love the role. Rosemary's 
sexy, worldly, curious. In 
short, very much like me. Also, I get 
to sing and dance in the movie, which 
should be fun.” 

Li 


Profumo-type scan- 


frequent guest at Mansion 
where she has been meeting the 
luminaries of the film industry. 

Playmate, and now Playmate of the Y 
has been a catalyst in my life. Ive been 
exposed to so many fine people; Hef 


shows two or three films a week a alf 
of Hollywood attends the screci I 
can find out how the movies were made. 


also. 
re a bi, 


I can 
which 


ange private showings 
help. I guess I'm a lot 
a 


film I watch the 
the act 


film, Lillian wants to do an Ame 
movie. Several offers arc under considera- 
tion, but Lillian is being careful about 
choosing the right role. “ 
being typecast as a sex kitten by Amei 
can directors, have been blessed with 
a beautiful body, but that's not enough. 
In Europe, an actress is valued for her 
ability to express a wide range of 


Loren, Liv Ullmann—are beautiful, not 
because they are pretty but because they 
n. Some directors tend to usc 
set decoration. I don’t object 
g my clothes off in front of a 
but it seems to me a waste of 


they want me t 
ways to be s 

Lillian has a good reason for wanting 
to work in an American movie: The 
drive from Mansion West to a Holly- 
wood studio would be a lot shorter 
than the overthe-Pole flight to Europe. 
When that Hollywood role happens 
Lillian will be able to take the drive 
style. Among the many prizes she re- 
ed for being Playmate of the Year 
vas a luxurious BMW 530i automobile. 
But if she wants, she can leave the car at 
home and ride her new bike, a ten-speed 
AMF Roadmaster. Of course, then she'll 
have to find room for such items as her 
Panasonic hi-fi rig, her Sony color TV and 
her Crisloid deluxe backgammon set. But 
"s her problem 

Obviously, this is a lady to watch. Some. 
women would be content with all the 
honors and recognition that go with the 
tide PI te of the Year, but for Li 
lian, it is just the beginning. She is carv- 
ing out a carcer, and we are, to say the 
least, proud of her. Keep your eyes open, 
and in a few years, you may be able to 
say, "I knew her when. . , 


Arlo Guthrie and Billy Preston have 
the best sound in car stereo. 


Craig Powerplay has three times the power of conventional car stereo 
And more power means clearer sound with less distortion at all listening levels 
Cassette or 8-Track models to choose from 


CAIG. POWESSFPLAY 


For more informabon write Craig Corp gel West Artesia Blvd , Compton, CA 90220 In Canada Withers, Evans Ltd , 3133 Sumner Ave, Burnaby, BC VSG 3E3 199 


PLAYBOY 


200 the wheel of 


picture tube (continued from page 152) 


depressed. What's more, with the excep- 
tion of Baker, the clothes they wore were 
not nearly so stylish as those on the backs 
of the TV people. Newspapermen don't 
expect to be looked at. 

Something similar was apparent at the 
[MORE] "counterconvention" in New 
York last year. [MORE] is a monthly 
magazine specializing in gossip about, 
and criticism ol, the way journalists do 
their jobs. For four years now, invoking 
the name of the late A. J. Liebling. 
who wrote press criticism for The New 
Yorker, [MORE] has sponsored a conven- 
tion supposedly “counter” to the estab- 
lishmentarian meetings of the American 
Newspaper Publishers Association. Last 
year, all manner of media honchos, 
mostly male and mostly pale, gathered 
at the Hotel Commodore to complain 
about the imperfections of the trade they 
slum in and to compare book contracts. 

Wallace and Rather had to beat off the 
groupies with a stick, It was not that 
they were, necessarily, better reporters 


than David Halberstam or Nora Ephron 
or Bryce Nelson or Charlayne Hunter. 
But they were themselves occasions, 


events—importance made corporeal. So 
much of our consciousness consists of 
television images that to meet the em- 
bodiment of one of these images is some- 
what like meeting what it is you think 
you know, the contents of your own 
head. You tingle. At the same time, you 
are aware of the fact that you are not in 
their stock of images. They have that 
lvantage over you: an inviolate con- 
sciousness . .. pure beings of the ether. 

A leuer to the July issue of [MORE] 
informs us that two women reporters at 
the convention 


sat down to await the start of a 
el. A young man wearing staff 
insignia told them to get up. The 
seats, he d, were reserved for 
the panelists. After some discussion, 
the two intruders vacated the seats. 
Then Mike Wallace sat down. He 
not a panelist and this was 
ied out to the apparatchik, 


was 

poi 

The apparatchik replied: "I'm in awe 
of power. 1 don't tell Mike Wallace what. 
to do. There are two kinds of people in 
this world: people you can push around 
nd people you don't. It's as simple as 
that. 


On the Fourth of July in San Fran- 
cisco, there was something called a Me- 
dia Burn. It was organized by the Ant 
Farm, a local collective of “conceptual 
artists.” They piled 44 old TV sets on 
top of one another in the parking lot 
of the Cow Palace, soaked them with 
kerosene and applied a torch. An actor 
pretending to be John F. Kennedy made 
a speech. Then someone climbed behind 
rebuilt 1959 Biarritz 


Cadillac, revved up and rammed the car 
into and through the wall of smoldering 
electrical detritus. Zowie. According to 
programs distributed before the event, 
onlookers were supposed to experience a 
“cathartic explosion” that would liberate 
them from the cultur nny of televi- 
sion. The conceptu is—along with 
the network film crews they had invited 
to the Happening—recorded it all on 
vidco tape and then rushed home to sec 
if their denunciation of TV would make 
It is a nice existen- 
al point: We sccm incapable of be- 
lieving that we have actually done 
something until we see ourselves do 


the six-o'clock ne 


on television. ‘Then it is “real.” "Daddy," 
asked the little girl in the cartoon, "are 
we live or on tapez" Only Jack Ruby 


knows for sure. 


Lionel Barrymore was . . . a great 
1 of Time for Beany. When Louis 

B. Mayer decided that television was 

a threat to the motion-picture 

industry and forbade sets on his 

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer studio lot, 

Barrymore sent his chaufleur to a 

local bar to watch the show and re- 

port on the plot developments. 
—The Great Television Heroes 

I have been writing about television 
for cight years. Once 1 compared the 
medium to Jorge Luis Borges concept of 
“the infinite.” In Avatars of the Tor- 
loise, Borges claims once upon a time to 
longed to compile "a mobile his- 
tory" of the infinite, which he describes 
as “the numerous Hydra (the swamp 
monster which amounts to a prefigu 
tion or emblem of geometric pro- 
gressions).” 

Swamp monster seemed an appropriate 
simile for television, as mobile history 
seemed for hundreds of reviews, each no 
more than 750 words long. Borges gave 
up on his project because it would re- 
quire too many years of “metaphysical, 
theological and mathematical apprentice- 
ship.” He settled instead for gnomic 
riddles, as I have settled here for anec- 
dotes—arbiarily, if not randomly, 
strung together. 

Borges at least is taken seriously. TV 
reviewers are not. Learn a trade, says 
your mother; weave baskets, find God, 


you are powerless to alter events or to 
doud men's minds. By the time your 
comment appears in print, the object of 
it will have vanished or, if it persists, 
millions of other people wil ready 
have seen it and made up their own 
minds. If your reviews are read at all, 
it is by those who seek a confirmation, 
either of their own gut reaction to a 
new program or of their suspicion that 
you are a jerk. You can no more review 


TV according to agreed-upon criteria 
than you can review politics or sports or 
old girlfriends—or compile a mobile 
history of the infinite. The lout on the 
next barstool also considers himself an 
expert. 

But that is precisely the fascination. 
In writing about television, you are 


really writing about everything. Swamp 
monster isn't, after all, appropriate. TV 
is the sea we swim in. The trouble 


that, like fish, we would be the last ones 
to notice that we were wet or to ask ques- 
tions about the nature of wetness. Con, 
cluding his monumental three-volume 
history of broadcasting, Erik Barnouw 
remarks, “Five hours a day, 60 hours a 
week—for millions, television was merg- 
ing with the environment. Psychically, it 
was the environment. What did all this 
mean?" 

In fact, it's now up to six hours and 
cight minutes a day. Thar's how long the 
average set is on in the American home. 
Ninety-seven percent of Am 
have at least one set. The average 16- 
year-old has clocked more time watching 
TV than he has spent in school. TV 
Guide outsells every other magazine on 
the nation’s newsstands. Television is 
clearly more serious than venereal disease. 
And yet we go on breaking down this 
cultural phenomenon into individual 
components. We study violence, commer- 
cials, children's programing, news | 
situation comedy. Of wetness, we have 
only the dimmest of notions. 

Theodore H. White, in his recently 
published book on the fall of Richard 
Nixon, Breach of Faith, at least gets the 
ball rolling! 


year before the [1952 Repub- 
1] convention opened, an event 
had exploded in American life com. 
parable in impact to the driving of 
the Golden Spike, which, in 1869, 
tied America by one railway net 
from coast to coast. In September of 
1951, engineers had succeeded in 
splicing together by microwave relay 
and coaxial cable a national tele- 
vision network; and two months 
later, late on a Sunday afternoon, 
November 18, 1951, Edward R. Mur- 


row, sitting in a swivel chair in CBS 
Studio 41, had swung about, back to 
audience, and invited his handful of 


viewers (3,000,000 of them) to look. 
There before him were two tele- 
vision monitors, one showing the 
Golden Gate Bridge in San Fran- 
cisco, the other showing the Brook- 
lyn Bridge New York. The 
cameras flicked again—there was 
the Statue of Liberty in New York 
and Telegraph Hill in San Fran- 
cisco. Both at the same time. Li 
The nation was collected as one, 
seeing itself in a new mirror, on a 
12 inch television tube. Murrow then 
swiveled back to the audience and 


It comes os close to speaking for itself 
os any cor ever built. 


Aggressive, unmistakable profile. Strong, 
mellow, no-nonsense sound. 
280-Z, by Datsun. 


Its particulars bear out its promise. Under 
the sculpted hood, an efficient 2800cc 
overhead cam engine with computerized 
fuel injection. The 6-cylinder plont hos on 
8.3:1 compression ratio for optimum 
performance. The transmission is an all- 
synchro manual! 4-speed; an automatic 

is available. 


Perfection. Fuel injection. 


Additional GT requisites include rack and 
pinion steering. Power assisted front disc 
brakes. 195/70 HR 14 steel belted radials. 
Reclining bucket seats, AM/FM radio with 
power antenna and electric rear window 
defogger standard, of course. 

The fuel injected Datsun 280-Z. 2-seater 
or 4-seater. Commune with one. 


The fuel injected, 


Datsun 280Z 


PLAYBOY 


202 ment in illegal c 


lifted his dark eycbrows in amusc- 
ment, as if he were a magician per- 
forming a trick. 

And one realized this wis no 
trick. On that tube, orchestrated by 
producers in New York, the battles 
of American politics would take 
place with ever increasing intensity; 
on its stage the emotions of America 
would be manipulated. 


White—a fruitcake over 
which, with a heavy hand, the rum of 
forcboding has been poured. A dis- 
appointed romantic, he lapses into Speng- 
lerianisms, gloomy odes. One of hi 
many theses in Breach of Faith is that 
television, along with publicrelations 
agencies, changed American politics for 
the worse. Symbol and slogan were sub- 
stituted for substantive discussion. Well, 
yes, indeed, “the emotions of Amer 
would be manipulated,” as they d on 
the airwaves ever since Franklin D. 
Roosevelt's fireside chats on radio in the 
Thirties. It is unclear to me why d 
method of engaging political reality, of 
nlluencing decisions, is inferior to the 
ackroom deals that gave us as Prosi- 
dents Pierce, Buchan Hayes, 
Garfield, Arthur, sons, the on 
again, off-again Cleveland, Taft, * 
ley, Harding, Coolidge. 

Such an argument is just a somewhat 
more elegant. version of the apocalyptic 
nonsense advanced by Pat Buchanan, a 
recently disenfranchised Nixon Admin- 
tration funky who has found a home 
wi g the "News Watch" colum for 
TV Guide. According to Buchanan, TV 
news is undermining our democracy. 
Surveys show that since 1963, when the 
networks went to half hour nightly pro- 
graming, two thirds of the American 
people have come to rely on these pro- 
grams as their principal source of in- 
formation. Other surveys show that, 
during the past five years, more 
more Americans have thought worse 
worse of our Government, the bu 
community, the legal profession, 
Congress and our military forces. 


"This is typi 


the 
"What 
ars to be do- 


ing to the American body politic,” says 
Buchanan, “is to undermine the foun- 
dation of public confidence in our 
institutions, and induce a sense of be- 
derment in the American clectorat 

Gosh. I'd suggest that more and more 
Americans think worse and worse of our 
Government. because several Presidents 
ve lied systematically to us on tele. 
ision, and one resigned before he could 
be impeached, and another pardoned 
him before he could be tried, and almost 
every agency of the Executive branch 
seems to have been used for partisin 
political purposes and/or to have par- 
ticipated in a cover-up of demonstrably 
illegal acts. We think worse of the busi 
ness community because of its involve- 
paign contributions, 


wi 


bribery of public officials here and 
abroad, n deals, assassinations and 
other ways of overthrowing foreign gov- 
ernments. We think worse of the legal 
profession because so many lawyers went 
m Watergate to f. We 
think worse of Congress because it let 
the war go on and let the economy fall 
apart. (Oddly enough, respect for Con- 
gress went up during the televised. pro- 
ceedings of the Rodino committee, 
survey it was not in Buchanan's interest 
to mention, and so he didn't) We think 
worse of the military because it lost a 
and gained a My Lai. 

OF course, the networks brought us 
all this bad news, sometimes belatedly, 
as in the cases of Viemam and Water 
gate. Therefore, the networks are appar- 
ently to blame for doing what most 
American newspapers have shamefully 
refused to do for years, which is to tell 
us what we need to know, whether or 
not we want to know it. As Garry Wills 
has pointed out, most newspapers in this 
country are in business to boost the com- 
munity; publish ads for movies, restat 
rants, banks, department stores and retail 
grocers; provide comic strips, recipes 
astrology columns and obituaries. For- 
eign news is buried, if it is printed at all. 
National news is hinted at in a couple 
of paragraphs ripped off a wireservice 
teletype. 

The fact of the matter is that br 
casting—originally a child of the mil- 
itary (wireless, radar, etc), then a 
ure of a huge economic consortium 
T., General Electric, Westing- 
then a mindless conduit 
gencies who pack- 
sed all their programs (the food, auto 
industries, those wonder- 
we you the quizshow 
ndals—has almost by accident 
hieved an independence from commer- 
cial and local pressures unknown to 
much of our free press. It is this inde- 
pendence, this adversary capacity, that 
has attracted the attention of those in 
Government who confuse communica- 
pitprop. "No other nation on 
ys Buchanan, “tolerates thu 
ar unrestricted freedom or untram- 


w 


(AT. 
house, RCA), 
of advertisers and the 


meled power enjoyed by the national 


networks the United States. And the 
position of these nations is a good deal 
more easy to appreciate today than ten 
years ago.” Near unrestricted freedom or 
wntrammeled power is presumably te 
private property only of Presidents, and 
Presidential speechwriters who perpe- 
trate phrases like more casy. Genera 
Amin of Uganda would appreciate this 
point of view, depending, of course, on 
the point in time. 

Yes, Teddy White is more elegant, or, 
as Buch ht put it, cleganter. 
White deplores the emphasis on "style" 
that television has brought to politics. 


(Why. then, was Richard Nixon, an 


almost totally styleless man, a fierce lump 
of Silly Putty. elected to the Presidency 
by the largest vote ever accorded a can. 
didate for the office? To be sure, there 
were other factors. There are always 
other factors, which is why the “manipu- 
lation" of emotions antedates. coexists 
with and will oudast television.) He 
misses the larger point. 

During the Sixties, as everybody by 
now is tired of hearing, our cultural co- 
herence disintegrated. Whatever percep 
tions we held of ourselves as a people 
(sons of the Enlightenment, progressive. 
perfectible), whatever presumptions we 
indulged of our destiny as a nation (mi 
sionary of democracy, cop of the cosmos) 
took a brutal beating, There were 
bloody thumbprints of the irrational on 
every computer printout. Our leaders 
couldn't appear in public without get- 
ting shouted down or shot down. We 
couldn't win a war against a bunch of 
liule people in pa 


despised us and lost themsely 
music, in the raptures and 

drugs. ms of blood; high-class. 
middle-class, working-class, they were 


long-hairs—we couldn't see their cars. 
and if they hadn't any cars, how could 
they hear the eternal verities? High cul- 
ture was routed in the academy. Popular 
culture turned to savage parody. The 
blacks stopped wanting any part of us 
Women got uppity. Gays came loudly 
out of the closet. Athletes behaved like 
ingrates. Homegrown monks appeared 


on street corners peddling the nostrums 
nd the 


Movies were dirty 
busive and even oi 


saw something else, too. With the Pre 
dency imperial in its arrogance, the 
Congress sluggish and deaf, the courts 
choked and confused, we saw the disaf. 
fected, the powerless, the outraged, the 
supplicatory and the spat upon petition- 
ing the media, instead of the Gover 
ment, for redress of grievance. It was, 
and is, extraordinary babel of vic 
timization. See our faces, hear our voices 
Even the oil companies, fed 
understood and unfairly blamed for the 
energy crisis, are doing it, sending out 
junior executives who have been wained 
before U.H.F. cameras to propagandize 
on talk shows. Television, these petition- 
ers quite rightly believe, represents access 
to the consciousness of the n The 
ion may not like what it sees—it c 
nly didn't care for the McGovern con 
vention, for instance, nor was it much 
moved by the various invasions of TV 
studios by militant homosexuals during 
"live" news programs—but it watches. 
What the nation knows is what is oi 
TV. I submit that television is our cul- 
ture, the only coherence we have going 
for us, naturally the repository of our 
symbols, the attic of old histories and 


g mis- 


jon. 


& 
S 
8 
$ 
S 
“A 

x 
R 

Š 
` 
8 
8 
t 

i 

"S 

s 

a 


PLAYBOY 


204 


hopes, the hinge on the doors of change. 
We may not believe our Pre 
Senators, our novelists, the dean: 


universities, the m our pulpits, 
the children sullen or surly in our living 
rooms, Jane Fonda, Robert Altman, Bill 


Buckley, Wilt Chamberlain or Melvin 
Belli. But we are more likely than not 
to agree with Jack Paar when he said, 
“I am not a religious man, but 1 do 

? Walter Cronkite.” 
is interpenetration, or consub- 
stantiation, of Amcrican culture and 
television limited to the news programs. 
The situation comedy is nothing less 
ency, as the family 
and the public school system are sup- 
posed to be: The sitcom, after a lot of 
thrashing about with events and person- 


Alb ous appropri 
or, helps them intern 
ious decencies, define the wayw: 
virtues, modulate peeves, legislate eti- 
queue, compromise the inci 

self with the damors of peer groups. 

In the Fifties, that flabby decade, the 
sitcom proposed as a paradigm the 
competent father, the dizzy mother, the 
innocent child. In the Sixties, it proposed 
the incompetent father, the dizzy mother, 
the innocent child, war as a fun thing 
and young women with supernatural 
powers (witch, genie, magical nanny, 
flying nun) who could take care of their 
men and their children, look cute and 
never leave the house. In the Seventies, 
it proposes the incompetent father, the 
dizy mother, the innocent child—all 
sitting around discussing abortion, i 
fidelity, impotence, homosexuality, drug 
addiction and death—and the carcer girl 
(have talent, need sex). The inability of 
the American father to lace up the shoes 
of his own mind without falling off his 
rocker has been constant, perfectly re- 


fleaing and perpetuating our cultural 
expectations. 
If the sitcom is a socializing agency, 


the talk show is a legitimizing agency. 
Ed Sullivan for 23 years used to be our 
legitimizing agency. His was the power 
of sanction. He advised us on what was 
permissible, He authenticated celebrity, 
significance. Without his stamp—right 
here on our stage—the package hadn't 
really arrived, whether it was a mayor 
of New York, a heavyweight champion, 
an all American football player, a beauty. 
queen or Elvis Presley. When he closed 
up shop in 1971, it was almost as if he 
realized that another legitimizing agency 
had usurped his function: Johnny 
son. Carson now presides over our con- 
sciousness. He sits, a toad with a jeweled 
eye, on our nights as though they were 
lily pads, croaking ad lib, conferring 
celebrity, defining the permissible. When 
‘arson started making Watergate jokes, 
all right to 
make fun of the President. When he 
luded to a toilet paper shortage, the 


nation hoarded. When he left New York 
for Burbank, New York fell apart. 

As it dimly perceives our needs as a 
nation, television tinkers with itself to 
accommodate d nurture. A nation 
cannot afford to lose its children and, 
therefore, television gave us Mod Squad, 
The Young Lawyers, Storefront Law- 
yers, John-Boy Walton, Little House on 
the Prairie. A nation cannot afford. the 
secession of 25,000,000 citizens, even if 
their citizenship has been but partially 
and grudgingly conceded, and so television 
gave us Diahann Carroll (Julia), Bill 
Cosby (I Spy) and Flip Wilson (the first 
male TV star since Milton Berle regu- 
Tarly to wear a dress), and-when they 
didn't work, it gave us Sanford and Son, 
Good Times, The Jeffersons and a lot of 
black detectives, private and public. A 
nation cannot afford oftending and alie 
ating women with brains who do r 
work, and so television gave us, i 
of cutiepie housewife witches, magical 
nannies, flying nuns and dreamed-of 
genics, a Mary Tyler Moore, a Diana 
Rigg, a Valerie Harper, a Karen Valen- 
tine, a Cloris Leachman and Police 
Woman. If two Kennedys were killed off, 
Hal Holbrook as a Bold One would be 
born and then be borrowed later on to 
suggest that homosexuals can have Mean- 
ingful Relationships. If the institution 
of marriage was in disrepute, Rhoda 
would do the rehabi: ng and the 
tion would weep with joy lor the first. 
time since J Love Lucy had a baby in 
prime time, 

In addition, television cr style as 
much as it records it. Crybabyism was 
perfect for the Fifties, from Nixon with 
his Checkers speech to Jack Parr and his 
fat daughter to Charles Van Doren and. 
Dave Garroway sobridden at what Pr 
dent Eisenhower called “a terrible thing 
to do 10 the American public"; that 
as Teddy Kennedy 
found out after he tried to explain Chap- 
paquiddick on television to an unbeli 
ing public, required something more 
than squeezing your sincerity like a 
lemon. TV in the Sixties found it 
style of the media brat. The med 
could be political, like Abbie Hoffman, 
or commercial, like Mason Reese, but 
was more likely to be sporty, like Mu- 
hammad Ali, Mark Spitz and Jimmy 
Connors. They are, arguably, the best 
prize fighter, swimmer and tennis bum in 
the world. Yet there is something in- 
authentic about their image on the TV 
screen and they seem to know it—some- 
thing pinched in the face, something 
ungenerous in the eyes, a lack of con- 
viction about themselves as actors, for 
which they try to compensate by antics 
uous gesturing. It is a quality 
ng not quite to believe the 
celebrity conferred on you, so young, by 
the camera; a fidgety smugness takes 
over; what if, when the red ht 


blinks off, you cease to exist? The media 
brats are the new heavies; most of the na- 
tion roots for them to lose. They are the 
children of our watching, and our own 
children imitate them, and they must be 
punished. 

What are we doing when we watch the 
Super Bowl cach January on television, 
with a half time full of starspangled 
leotards, lunar modules, SAC bombers 
in friendly overflight, prisoners of war, 
the obligatory black singing the obliga- 
tory anthem and the obligatory Vice- 
President biting the nose of Pete Rozelle? 
What does mean when we celebrate 
the rising of the n: i 
spring by watching the Academy Awards? 
Are both of them exhibition games to 
prepare for the Bicentennial, when we 
will bestow a championship cup, an Os- 
car, on ourselves? 

What we are doing and what 
are hoth aspects of the same activity 
taches to our 


t means 
nd 
pt 
y n 
Luther King funeral cortege, an Apollo 
liftoff, the Olympics with or without the 
murder of Israeli athletes, Armstrong 
w Iki g on the moon, a President in 
igning, the world 
series. We are participating with our- 
selves as a nation. There is really no 
other way to participate, n the state 
of the family, the church, the town, the 
state, the arts. When there is an assassin: 
tion or a Cuban Missile Crisis, or the 
Beatles appear on the Sullivan show, or 
Joe McCarthy takes on the American 
Army and loses, or Joe Namath takes on 
the nal Football League and wins, 
or Kennedy pl: in the Gr 
Debates and Billie King plays 
Bobby Riggs in Great Hustle, 
wherever we are, we turn on the set and 
watch, because that is what we will talk. 
about tomorrow, that is what we know, 
that is one of the few things of which 
we will be certain. 

Fragmented, mobile, e 
we are nomads on an industrial grid. We 
get in ou ad go. But when we get 
there, where are we, and what did we 
leave behind? With our TV sets, we are 
one big Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman 
wherever we happen to be. hearing the 
me messages, commercials for the salv: 
tion of the soul and floor wax. Television 
is another kind of car, a windshield on 
the world. We climb inside it, drive it, 
and it drives us, and w l go in the 
same direction, see the same thing. It is 
more than a mobile home; it is a mobile 
ion. It has become, then, our common 
nguage, our ceremony, our style, our 
entértainment and anxicty, our sympa- 
thetic magic, our way of celebrati 
mourning. worshiping. It’s flimsy glue, 
but for the moment it's the only thing 
holding us togethei 

ü 


cars 


Why is Tareyton better? 


Others remove. 


— 
Tare 


The Reason is 
Activated Charcoal 


The U.S. Environmental 
Protection Agency recently 
reported that granular ac- J 
tivated carbon (charcoal) is 
the best available method 
for filtering water. 

Asamatter of fact, many 
cities across the United States have instituted charcoal 
filtration systems for their drinking water supplies. 

The evidence is mounting that activated charcoal 
does indeed improve the taste of drinking water. 


Charcoal: History’s No. 1 filter 


Charcoal was used by the ancient = 
Egyptians as early as 1550 B.C. 


fine 


Charcoal has been used ever since 
thenin many manufacturing processes, 
including the refining of sugar! 


Charcoal made the gas mask 
possible in World War I. 


Charcoal is used today for masks that are required 
equipment in many industries. 


Charcoal helps freshen air in 
submarines and spacecraft. 


Charcoal is used to 
mellow the taste of the finest bourbons. 


Charcoal also plays a key role 
in auto pollution 7" mum 
control devices. 


n improves. 


Activated charcoal 
does something 
for cigarette smoke, too. 


While plain white filters reduce tar and nicotine, 
they also remove taste. 

But Tareyton scientists created a unique, two-part 
filter—a white tip on the outside, activated charcoal 
on the inside. Tar and nicotine are reduced... but the 
taste is actually improved by charcoal. Charcoal 
in Tareyton smooths and balances and improves the 
tobacco taste. 


2. Thats why 

us Tareyton smokers 
would rather fight 
than switch.” 


Tareyton is Americas 
best-selling charcoal filter cigarette. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


King Size: 21 mg. “tar”, 1.4 mg. nicotine; 
100 mm: 20 mg. "tar", 14 mg. nicotine; av. per cigarette, FTC Report Nov. 75. 208 


206 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


YOU LUCKY DOG 
God knows, the English have this thing about 
animals. So much so, in fact, that one veddy 
British firm, Denes of England Ltd., is currently 
expanding its line of pet health foods to 
America. (Twenty-five cents sent to Denes at 
Box 92, East Rutherford, New Jersey 07073, will 
get you a complete brochure.) Products include 
dietary supplements made from raspberries, 
parsley, water cress, tree bark, garlic, green leaf 
and seaweed. Now, how about a doggy bicarb? 


GETTING GOOD RECEPTION 
Think you've heard everything? There's a 
gentleman in Philadelphia named John Quillin 
who makes electronic receptionist heads (in the 
image of your choice) for $3000. Each 15-inch- 
high head moves its mouth and eyes, notifies you 
when someone enters the room, asks the visitor 
to have a seat—or whatever you choose—and 
then takes messages. (Full figures sell for 
$10,000.) Quillin's latest head is on display at 
"The Electric Callery, 24 Hazelton Avenue, 
"Toronto, Ontario. No, it doesn't polish its nails. 


SHE'S OUR (BLOOD) TYPE 
Vampirella, the comic-book industry's “beautiful blood-lusting girl 
from the stars," does a bit of starring herself in a full length 
motion picture due later this year from England's Hammer Films, 
leading entrepreneur of cinematic horror. The fact that the title 
role will be filled, amply, by Barbara Leigh (who was featured in the 
May 1973 PLAYBOY) should make us all suckers for this film fare. 


THE LONG-GREEN HILLS OF AFRICA 

For those of you with a yen to see East Africa like some bwana 
from a Hemingway story might, Hanns Ebensten Travel at 55 West 
42nd Street in Manhattan is offering a $2350 (not including air 
fare), 17-day walking / camel safari through Kenya's Northern Fron- 
tier. While foot-loose, you'll see the dik-dik and the elephant 
play, explore Mount Bysion, home of the kudu, and chew 

the fat with friendly natives. Hope that fat is nobody we know. 


TAKING OVER THE TOWN 
Yes, friend, now you can be the first on 
your block to own a town. Coming up for 
auction by Kruse Classic Auction Com- 


pany of Auburn, Indiana, is something 
called Frontier Town, an actual place 

15 miles from Helena, Montana, that was 
virtually hand-built over 20 years 

by a guy named John Quigley. The town 
includes a saloon, a jail, a church and 
hundreds of authentic relics of a bygone 
era. Just think, one day you're mayor, 
the next, sheriff, then prisoner. . .. 


SHEEPSKIN GAME 
Wouldn't it be nice if you could get a 
college degree without having to put up 
with all those years of boring education? 
Find out how you can in a soft-cover 
book called College Degrees by Mail, from 
John Bear, Drawer H, Little River, 
California 95456 ($15). Buckner University, 
for example, offers a “strikingly hand- 
some Degree Certificate” for only $27.50. 
Boola-boola and caveat emptor. 


WAGON MASTER 
The Beach Boys had a 34 wagon and they called it a woodie. Paul 
Wilson has an auto business at 2455 N. Sheffield in Chicago and he calls 


it Miniwoodic. Yes, litle wood runabouts resembling tiny '40 Ford 
wagons (underneath all that gorgeous ash and birch, there lurks a used 
VW) that Wilson is selling for $3200 to $4000 ready to go and including 
a sun roof. Kit prices start at $995. Surf City, here we come. 


INTELLIGENCE 
QUOTIENT 

The CIA may have supported a 
few wrong dictators, and it may 
have spied on a few of the wrong 
folks back home, but don't let 
anyone tell you it doesn't know 
its ass when it comes to weapons. 
If you get off on thumbing 
through lists of same, $5.95 will 
now get you a copy of the CIA 
Special Weapon Supply Catalog, 
from Normount Technical 
Publications, P. O. Drawer N-2, 
Wickenburg, Arizona 85358. It's 
got the dope on all kinds of stuff, 
from antitank mines to docu- 
ment destroyers. Of course, you 
can't get hold of the hardware, 
but just running your fingers over 
the pictures ought to be a thrill. 


THE BIGFOOT STOMP 
If you think most rock lyrics 
are so much gibberish, wait 
until you hear Bigfoot Sounds 
Off, an LP available from Apollo 
Galleries, Box 81, Lyndhurst, 
New Jersey 07071, for $5.95. 
Bigfoot, as if you didn't already 
know, is the gigantic manlike 
creature said to live deep in 
the forests of Northern California 
and the Pacific Northwest. Now, 
for the first time ever, sounds 
attributed to several Bigfoot 
creatures have been captured on 
tape for your listening pleasure— 
plus info on how the record was 
made (four persons witnessed 
the performance). Stay tuned 
for the second album: Bigfoot 
Does the Bossa Nova. 


207 


PLAYBOY 


SEX IS GOOD Continued fen, page 156) 


two weeks, his testosterone gradually fell 
to its previous level—indicating that if 
you are a rhesus monkey and want to 
keep your testosterone level high, you 
have to keep working at i 

During the seventh week of the ex- 
periment, Quid was transferred to an- 
other compound—this one occupied by 
a tightly knit social group of 30 male 
rhesus monkeys with no females. “The 
response of the rcsident males was dra- 
matic. Within minutes, they challenged. 
and attacked the male [Quid] who had 
just been introduced.” The Yerkes staff 
had to intervene to break up prolonged 
fights and prevent scrious injury to Quid. 
Tn less than two hours, it was necessary 
for his protection to remove him from 
the compound and return him to his 
own cage. 

During the first two weeks of the ex- 
periment, Quid's blood had contained 
about 750 units of testosterone. During 
his two weeks of sexual freedom, his 
testosterone reached a peak of nearly 
1750 units. Following his "brief but de- 
cisive exposure to defeat,” it fell to barely 
500 units—less than half the base-line 
level. And it continued to drop—to less 
than 200 units after nine weeks of caged 
isolation. Quid was now suffering from 
a severe testosterone deficiency. 

How could this deficiency be cu 
One way, of course, would be to give 
Quid a series of testosterone injections 
or oral anabolic steroids—but Rose, 
Gordon and Bernstein instead simply set 
Quid free again to romp with the 13 fe- 

ales in their compound. 

“Twenty-four hours after [Quid was] 
introduced to the females, testosterone 
showed significant increases," Rose and 
his associates reported. Then Quid’s tes- 
tosterone soared to new hi 
less than 200 units after nine weeks of 
isolation following his defeat to almost 
2000 units after four days of unimpeded 
swinging. 

The Yerkes researchers put three other 
rhesus males through the same series of 
procedures, The same rises and falls in 
testosterone levels, with only modest var- 
iations, resulted in all cases. 

Rose and tes point out 
that their experimental results can be 
interpreted in more than one way. When 
admitted to the compound with the fe- 


males, Quid and the three other males 
each became, in turn, the dominant 
member of the group—the “Alpha 


” Later, in the compound with 30 
hostile males, Quid and the others 
cringed at the bottom of the dominance 
hierarchy. It is conceivable that their 
testosterone rose and fell as a result of 
their dominance status rather than as a 
result of their sexual arousal and sexual 
experiences. Rises in testosterone levels, 
however, have also been reported fol- 


208 lowing scxual intercourse in rabbits, 


elephants and bulls—with no dominance 
gc to explain the rise. In some male 
ls, testosterone goes up when they 
are merely permitted to look at a female 
in heat, with no social interaction or 
sexual access to her. 

How about humans? 

As early as 1967, the effect of sexual 
E 1 human testosterone levels 
was studied by Drs. A. A. A. Ismail and 
R. A. Harkness in Edinburgh. Two of 
the males Ismail and Harkness studied 
were of particular interest. 

One refrained from sexual intercourse 
for 18 weeks before the experiment 
started. He continued to refrain for the 
first 13 days of the experiment, during 
which all of his urine was collected and 
tested in 24-hour batches. During the 
next eight days, he had sexual inter- 
course four times. Following these sexual 
encounters, his daily collection of urine 
contained nearly twice as much testos- 
terone as before. 

"Ehe other research subject had no sex 
for seven weeks before the experiment 
began. His average urinary testosterone 
rose similarly following a period of mod- 
erate sexual activity (two sexual encoun- 
ters five days apart). 

Another human study was performed 
by an associate of Ismail's, Dr. C. A. 
Fe The Fox experiment was performed 
on “a male subject aged 38 who has been 
married for 11 years and has four ch 
dren” and who had had “considerable 
experience in experiments involving the 
physiology of coitus." 

Each night at ten r.x., for 45 consecu- 
tive nights, the subjects wife drew a 
small blood sample from his forearm 
vein. Each blood sample was centrifuged 
within half an hour to separate the blood 
plasma from the cells; the plasma was 
then frozen and stored until testosterone 
tests could be run in the endocrinolog- 
ical laboratory. These plasma samples 
were the control samples. 

During the 45 days of the experiment, 
the research subject had sex with his wife 
on seven occasions. “Sexual intercourse 
took place by desire and was not the re- 
sult of advanced planning. . . . The du- 
ration of coitus was 15-50 minutes.“ 

During cach sexual encounter, the man 
interrupted coitus before his climax so 
that his wife could draw a blood sample. 
She also drew a second sample within 
five minutes after his orgasm. On every 
occasion, the blood samples taken dur 
and shortly after coitus contained moi 
testosterone than the control sample. 

On one occasion, for example, the 
control sample contained 216 units of 
testosterone, while the sample taken aft- 
er orgasm contained 507 units. On an- 
other occasion, the control level was 253 
units, compared with 599 units after 
orgasm. 


To confirm these findings, Fox ran a 


ng 


parallel series of tests six months later. 

The subject was somewhat more ac- 
tive sexually during this second period; 
he had intercourse with his wife on 11 
occasions in six wecks. The findings con- 
firmed the initial study: Sexual inter- 
course raises male testosterone levels in 
the human species as it docs in monkeys, 
bulls, rabbits and elephants. 

Sexual arousal without coitus or or- 
gasm also raises human testosterone 
levels. This was demonstrated at the Max 
Planck Institute for Psychiatry in 
Munich, where Drs. Karl. M. Pirke and 
Gotz Kockott, with an associate, Franz 
Dittmar, invited 16 healthy heterosexual 
males aged 21 to 34 to look at some 
Movies. Eight of the men, selected at 
random from the 16, were shown an ani- 
mated cartoon without sexual content. 
The other eight viewed a color film in 
three parts. “In the first part, the two 
partners are shown petting and undress- 
ing, in the second part foreplay and face- 
to-face coitus are shown and in the third 
part are shown foreplay and coitus in 
various positions.” 

Ihe penis of each male was fitted with 
a device called a plethysmograph, which 
measures the duration and intensity of 
erections. The plethysmographic records 
demonstrated that all eight of the men 
in group A—the ones who watched the 
porn film—experienced full erections 
during portions of the film. 

Much more important than the ple- 
thysmographs were the catheters in- 
serted into the forearm veins of the 16 
film viewers, Through these catheters, 
blood samples were drawn every 15 min- 
utes—beginning 45 minutes before the 
films were shown and continuing for two 
hours after the showings were completed. 
Thus, Pirke's team could compare blood 
testosterone levels before, during and 
after the films—and compare the sexually 
stimulated men in group A with the un- 
stimulated group B controls. 

As might be expected, the control sub- 
jects, who watched the cartoon, showed no 
significant variation in testosterone. The 
testosterone levels of the eight men who 
watched the porn film, however, rose on 
the average by 35 percent, even though 
two of the men showed no increase. 
Three members of the group showed 
dramatic increases—76 percent in one 
case, 64 percent in another and 54 per- 
cent in the third. Testosterone levels con- 
tinued to rise even after the film was 
over—reaching a peak 60 to 90 minutes 
after uic end of the porn film. 

No theater, so far as we know, has as 
yet posted a sign on its marquee: roh 
FILMS ARE GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH. But 
the Munich findings suggest that a good 
porn film contributes at least as much to 
maintaining a strong body as a modest 
dose of an anabolic steroid manufactured 
by any of the big pharmaceutical houses. 

For generations, young males in our 


culture—and in Asian cultures as well— 
have been cautioned to avoid " 
excesses,” lest they ruin their health 
Mahatma Gandhi refrained from coitus 
altogether for many years in order to 
conserve his resources. Medical folklore 
warns of the “worn-out old roué," whose 
early enjoyment of life has left him a 
decrepit sexual cripple, prematurely 
aged, a prey to many degenerative d 
eases. Even today, there are men in their 
20s, 30s and 40s who restrain themselves 
sexually lest they deplete their powers. 

The studies here reviewed confirm 
perceptive observers have always 
nown: The worn-out rou figment 
of th xual imagination. The vigor 
ous old man who still enjoys abounding 
good health (and good sex) is the one 
who also enjoyed himself in youth, young 
manhood and middle age—and who thus 
kept his testosterone level high. 

‘The raising of testosterone levels is 
not, obviously, the only way in which an 
active sex life contributes to good health. 
It just happens to be the only way that 
has to date been carefully examined sc 
entifically. Here are some other consid 
erations affecting both men and women: 

* Many doctors agree that by improv- 
ing our mood and relieving psychic ten- 
sions, sex makes us less vulnerable to the 
numerous aches, pains and more serious 
health impairments that are commonly 
labeled psychosomatic or functional; t 


is, arising from emotional stress, depres- 
sion or other psychological factors. 

Sexual intercourse," Dr. Neil Solo- 
mon of the Johns Hopkins University 
School of Medicine points out, “is an ex- 
cellent form of exercise.” An ideal exer- 
cise should require no special equipment, 
should make use of as many bodily mus- 
cles as possible, should enable you to im- 
prove with practice, should be something 
you enjoy and that you can do with an- 
other person—and it should be some- 
thing you can continue throughout your 
life. Sex fills the order. 
provides a valuable combination. 
of stimulation and relaxation. During 
sexual activity, blood presure and 
pulse rate rise, much as they do when we 
take a walk or climb a flight of stairs— 
then promptly return to quiet resting 
levels. It is precisely this sequence of 
stimulation and rela: m that is gen- 
erally considered conducive to good 
health. 

+ Many athletes report that sex the 
night before a big game helps them get 
a good night's sleep and lowers excess 
tensions—both important contributions 
to good health. Casey Stengel agreed. 
“It wasn’t the catchin’ that caused the 
problem for athletes,” he is supposed to 
it was the chasin’.” 

* Married men and women live sig- 
nificantly longer on the average th 
those who are single, widowed or di 


vorced; that sexual activity plays a role 
in this greater longevity seems likely, 
though it isn't proved. 

On the other hand, it's also pretty 
obvious that abstention from sexual ac- 
tivity is not necessarily a cause of poor 
health. Many monks nuns and other 
celibates, for example, enjoy abounding 
good health and live into their 70s and 
80s. Perhaps they have found other forms 
of stim ion and relaxation to take the 
place of sex; or perhaps freedom from 
many of the stresses of life compensates 
for the absence of sexual release. 

Estrogen is the natural female sex hor- 
mone, resembling testosterone in numer- 
ous respects. It is chemically related to 
testosterone; and it plays much the same 
role in inducing female puberty that tes- 
tosterone plays in male puberty. Just as 
testosterone is manufactured in the male 
gonads (testes), so estrogen is manufac- 
tured in the female gonads (ovarics). 
And, like testosterone, estrogen is an 
anabolic steroid that serves a variety of 
functions related to maintaining good 
health. 

What isn’t known, however, is whether 
sexual arousal and sexual activity raise 
female estrogen levels in the way ‘in 
which they raise male testosterone levels. 
Our hunch is that they do. Iv’s high 
time somebody found out. 


w Aftate for Athlete's Foot 


; much better.. 


couldn't say so. 


Aftate contains a special medication proven 


more effective i 


fungus and helps prevent reinfection. 


4 effective treatment forms. 


Spray liquid and gel (red label): 
use for the treatment of even 
most stubborn cases. 

Spray and sprinkle 
powders (blue label); use 
for daily foot care and to 
help prevent reinfection. 


orwe couldn't sayso. 


killing Athlete’s Foot fungus 
than the medication inthe best-selling brand. ^ n 


To the millions of Athletes Foot sufferers looking for _|MIFUNGAL SPRAY 
relief from burning, cracking and itching. we introduce f 
Aftate. Aftate kills all major types of Athlete's Foot 


" 


For treatment 


letes FOC! 


Most stubborn C 


(Aftate is 
odorless, too.) 


1 
tes Fog 


t 
and daily foot c 


© PLOUGH, INC. 1976 


209 


PLAYBOY 


DEATH CROSSES THE COLOR LINE 


and some windows. They looted stores, 
touched off a riot in which police killed 
a I7yearold boy. Cops moved in, 
plucked King and Ralph Abernathy and 
others out of the melee and took them 
to the fashionable Rivermont Motel. 
(During the recent revelations of FBI 
harassment of King, we found that the 
bureau discussed leaking the news that 
King was staying in a white establish- 
ment, to embarrass him. In turn, one of 
Rays attorneys has speculated that the 
FBI really wanted to drive King out of 
the Rivermont to the Lorraine, where he 
could be more easily killed.) Anyway, 
things were more yolatile than ever. 
Could King come back for a second march 
if they'd cool off the kids? King again 
agreed. Theyd march on Friday, April 
fifth. Thus it was that King returned to 
Memphis from Atlanta on April third, 
and checked into the black-owned Lor- 
raine Motel. Lots of people knew it, 
what with the TV and radio coverage. 
The next day, he was shot outside room 
306. 

"The physical evidence proves no more 
than that Ray was involved in King’s 
assasination—something he has admit- 
ted, asserting, “I personally did not shoot 
Dr. King, but I believe I may be partly 
responsible for his death." Furthermore, 
other evidence—which Rays 1969 guilty 
plea (forced out of him by his lawyer, 
he says) prevented from being tried in a 
court—suggests a conspiracy as much as 
it does a lone killer. But in cither ca: 
King was at the Lorraine on April 
fourth. Where was Ray? 

For a time, less than 300 feet away, 
in a rooming house on Main Street. ‘The 
room—5B, in the north section of the 
double building—was a flophouse spe- 
cial featuring à chipped iron bedstead 
arched at each end like a leer. On the 
bed was the April fourth edition of the 
Memphis Commercial Appeal. In it w: 
a report of King’s speech the previous 
night, of his vow to march, and more, of 
an incandescent prophecy. “Some began 
to talk about the threats that were out, 
of what would happen to me from some 
of our sick white brothers. . . . Well, I 
don't know what will happen now. 
We've got some difficult days ahead. But 
it really doesnt matter with me now. 
Because I've been to the mountaintop!” 
Then his people heard him 
gevity has its place. But I'm mot con- 
cerned about that now,” and then on, 
his yoice building, until he shouted, his 
broad face varnished with sweat: “So 
I'm happy tonight. I'm not worried about 
ything. m not fearing any man. 
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the 
coming of the Lord! " The adulation 
washed over him. Ir must temporarily 
have cleansed him of the fear he'd re- 
cently admitted to close associates and 


210 friends, the fear that festered with every 


(continued from page 130) 


threat on his life since the first attempt 
in 1958, with every confrontation, with 
the fact of his surveillance by the FBI 
(and by the Memphis police, even now, as 
he spoke and, at the motel, from a fire 
station across the street). He may also 
have shed for the moment his correct 
suspicions that J. Edgar Hoover's ani- 
mosity had led to illegal wire taps, to a 
letter suggesting that he commit suicide, 
to the gossip spread about his alleged 
sexual misbehavior. 

All that is sure, though, is that the 
next day anyone in room 5B could push 
aside the gold-and-green-flowered plastic 
curtain and see the balcony fronting 
room 306 at the Lorraine. Ray may have 
looked there, for certainly he was in the 
room at times between 3:30 and 5:30 P.M, 
on April fourth. However, no one would 
have taken a shot at King from that win- 
dow. You'd have to lean halfway out for 
any sort of accuracy. But there was a 
bathroom next door to 5B. From it, a 
man could get a clear diagonal shot across 
the weedy, bushy back yards and Mul- 
berry Street, if he could get the rifle out 
the window and stand in the cratered 
bathtub, with one foot up on the edge 
of it. And if he weren't interrupted. In 
rooming house, the toilet got a lot 
of usc, as it docs in places inhabited by 
heavy drinkers. One such, named Charles 
Quitman Stephens, lived directly next 
door, in 6B. Charley had seen Ray 
around 3:30 on the afternoon of the 
fourth, he later said, and he'd gone out 
into the hall when Mrs. Bessie Brewer, 
the manager, was showing that fellow 
5B after he'd rejected a room without a 
view of the Lorraine. He told police 
and newsmen that he could also identify 
Ray as the neat, "sharp-faced" man 
whom he'd seen in the failing twilight 
running down the hall after the shot, 
carrying a bundle, running, he thought, 
from the bathroom, which had been 
locked at different times between 3:30 
and the shooting. Oddly, his common- 
law mate, Grace Walden, said Charley 
had to be wrong, that the running man 
she'd scen through her doorway looked 
nothing like Ray and that Charley didn’t 
see the man until he was clear down the 
hall, rounding the corner for the stairs. 

Could it haye been Ray? No one de- 
nies he was in the rooming house. Or 
he had with him a 16 Model 760 
Remington Gamemaster slide action rifle 
fitted with a Redfield 2x7 telescopic 
sight. About four o'clock, he'd bought a 
pair of Bushnell 7 x 35 binocul: the 
York Arms Company a half mile away, 
perhaps for observing King. And the 
binoculars, along with the rifle (one spent 
ng in the chamber and none in the 
hot dip), several other .30-06 car- 
including five military rounds, a 
greenand-brown bedspread, a Browning 
rifle cardboard box, a 15" x 20" blue- 


foi 
urges, 


plastic overnight case filled with toiletries, 
a white T-shirt (size 42-44), a pair of 
darned — gray-and-white-paisley under- 
shorts (size 34), a transistor radio, two 
cans of Schlitz, a pair of pliers, 2 tack 
hammer and The Commercial Appeal 
make up the famous "bundle of evidence” 
that Ray is said to have dropped in the 
doorway of the Canipe Amusement Com- 
pany on Main Street after the fatal shot. 
Ray—or, more properly, Ray as John 
Willard, the name he'd given Mrs. 
Brewer—also was the bathroom. His 
palm print, the police said, was on the 
wall above the bathtub, where he'd 
leaned to get into the tub to take the 
shot. The scuffmarks of shoes were clearly 
visible in the tub, too, and there were 
identifiable Ray fingerprints on the rifle 
and scope. In room 5B, the FBI picked 
up fibers from the bedspread, as well as 
hair samples, the straps from the binocu- 
lar case and other bits of physical evi- 
dence proving that Ray had been there. 
Altogether, the weight of physical cvi 
dence against Ray seemed convincing. A 
weck after the killing, the police and the 
FBI even found his 1966 white Mustang 
in Atlanta, loaded with clothes, a 
Polaroid camera and even a white sheet. 
The car was said to have been parked 
by Canipe’s when King was killed. 
"was said to have used it to escape, driv- 
ing from Memp! to Atlanta, before 
abandoning it in favor of a bus to Cin- 
cinnati, a train to Detroit, then on to 
‘Toronto, Montreal, a plane to London, 
then to Lisbon and back to London, where 
he was caught in June 1968. Authorities 
would prove it was Ray's car, after they 
proved it was Galts and that Galt was 
Ray. Establishing that could not convict 
Ray, however, since he once affirmed he 
had purchased the car. Moreover, that 
indefatigable assassination researcher 
Harold Weisberg—a main force behind 
recent efforts to secure Ray a new tria 
believes he has evidence showing puzzling 
things about the car. For example, it was 
almost bare of fingerprints, although 
there were several of Rays left in Mem- 
phis. There were cigarette butts in the 
ashtray, but Ray didn't smoke. There was 
mud on the passenger's side, but Ray was 
supposedly alone. There was a white 
sheet on the back seat and some of the 
clothes didn't fit Ray. As we'll see in 
tracing alternate explanations for the 
crime, these items could be important. 
But, to return to the car, it was odd 
that no all-points bulletin had been issued. 
to stop a white Mustang. Guy Canipe 
said he had watched one roar past his 
door alter he'd seen someone drop the 
bundle. The Tennessee State Police said 
they never got a request for an APP. B., 
and the Memphis police said that was 
because they had no proof the “young 
white male, well dressed,” in the white 
Mustang had killed King, even though, 
yes, they had at 6:08 broadcast a local 


“You’ve got it all wrong, baby. I'm t aking you 
home to cook, clean and sew! 


PLAYBOY 


212 


call to stop such a car. There were at 
Teast 400 white Mustangs in Memphis 
and, besides, after the killing, there was 
a phony C.B.radio broadcast about a 
wild chase up in northeast Memphi 
with a white Mustang running away 
from a blue Pontiac, with three white 
men shooting at the Pontiac. 

Police said that was a schoolboy prank 
and had come too late (at 6:35 P.M.) to 
be part of a conspiracy. Ii was interest- 
ing, though, that the broadcast diverted 
attention. from the southern routes out 
of Memphis, which Ray admitted he 
took. 

Be: 
pou 


les the fingerprints and the car 
ting to him, eyewitnesses identified 


Ray as the man who, on March 29 in 
Birmingham (fresh from Los Angeles via 
New 


Orleans, Selma, Birmingham and 
). had purchased a 243 Remington 
master, had ordered it fitted with a 
7 variable power scope, had bought 

name 


some cartridges and had given hi 
nd address as Harvey Lowmyer, 1807 
South Iih Street. Birmingham. The next 
day, though, Lowmyer took the rifle back 
to the Acromarine Supply Company and 
asked for a heavier one, a 30-06, because 
his "brother" had said the .243 wasn't 
big enough for the hunting they planned 
10 do im Wisconsin. The clerk, Don 
Wood, gave Lowmyer the same Reming- 
ton model in a .30-06, fitted it with the 


scope, exchanged cartridges and put 
everything into a Browning rifle box, 
because the scope made the rifle too wide 
for the Remington box. Lowmyer seemed 
grateful, Wood said. So was the FBI, 
since through the rifle and Wood they 
could identify Lowmyer, Galt, Willard 
and Ray as the murderer, because hadn't 
that .30706 killed King? 


James Earl Ray was the kind of man 
for whom Martin Luther King spoke. 
Poor. Pissed off. Imprisoned in a world 
he never made. From the beginning on 
March 10, 1928, until now, in the Ten- 
nessee State Prison, Ray's life taught him 
to get before you're gotten. His father 
was a shiftless sort, a menial 
good mostly for siring nine d 
Ray's hapless mother before 1 
so she could complete an ugly ruin with 
alcohol. The Ray children grew up in an 
agony of embarrassment and poverty. 
Eventually, Jimmy and his brothers Jerry 
and John became criminals. One sister 
mentally ill. Even so, as a teenager. 
nmy Ray seemed to have a nail-hanging 
hold on America’s vertical mobility. He 
learned the leather-dyeing trade in Al- 
ton, Illinois, and was neat, shy with girls, 
polite, reliable and frugal as hell. Then, 
when World War Two ended, he lost 
that job and six weeks later joined the 
Army (on the enlistment form, he said 


“I don’t know when I've been involved in a better 
doctor-patient-nurse relationship.” 


his father was dead). After basic, he be- 
came an MP in Germany (and, some 
say. admired the defeated Hider's racial 
policies), an occupation tha 
hibit considerable boozing, a little dope, 
lots of fighting and trouble. In Decem- 
ber 1948, Ray was discharged for "lack 
of adaptability to military service." 

m then until he was arrested for 
the King murder, Ray was a Sammy 
Glick of the nether world, scrambling for 
all he was worth. If he ever heard any- 
thing like the messages of peace and 
brotherhood coming from a black Bap- 
tist minister and his son Martin in At- 
lanta, his 20-year record of petty crime 
does not show it. 

y shot King, it was a complete 
k from his history of smalltime 
thievery. King was killed by a rifle bul- 
let. In his stick-ups, Ray had sometimes 
brandished a pistol, bur he'd never fired 
it After his escape from the Missouri 
penitentiary, he carried a pistol, was 
captured with one on him. But. other 
than in his Army basic training 22 years 
before, there's no evidence that he used 
le. Why would he choose one to kill 
King? It’s been suggested that in prison, 
Ray was entranced by Oswald's feat. 
that maybe he went to school on it and 
decided on a long-range murder for a 
troublemaker he hated. George McM 
lan, a writer whose forthcoming book 
assumes Rays guilt, quotes men in stir 
with Ray as saying he was rabid about 
artin Luther Coon" and vowed to 
get him. McMillan also claims Ray's 
brother Jerry said that Jimmy, who often 
contacted Jerry after his escape, was wild 
for Wallace and that on the morning 
of Ki ination, he got a call dur- 
ing which Jimmy said, “Big Nigger has 
had it" (Jerry has denied this state- 
ment.) McMillan further says that Ray 
financed his postescape peregrinations 
with money made in prison and sent 
outside to Jerry, about 57000 in all. 

How much of this is incontrovertible? 
The escape itself[—Abernathy thinks 
“Ray may have been let loose" to kill 
King—was peculiarly successful for N 
He hid in a box carrying loaves of bread, 
was trucked outside the walls and then 
left the truck. (the authorities put out a 
routine $50-reward leaflet, but it 1 
someone else's fingerprints on it— 
other detail that suggested to some that 
Ray had been let out, maybe that he 
wasn’t supposed to be caught). But other 
attempts hadn't gone so well. 

Convicts at the Missouri penitentiary 
this writer has interviewed said Ray was 
laughable in those adventures, once play- 
ing the “mole” and hiding in ventilators, 
only to crawl out hours later into a guard's 
arms. Another time, he tried to scale a 
wall with a pole but fell back into the 
yard and hurt himself, (After the King 
fair, when Ray was finally transferred 
out of solitary in Nashville to the 


Ican talk ab: 
| enjoyment. Tve | 
| tasted it. In lots of A n lots of ways. 


£5 Salem's one of them. The rich tobacco 
| T taste, the fresh menthol and the box. 
y That's enjoyment you can taste. 


Salem Box. 


E Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
19 mg. “tar”, 1.3 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report SEPT. 75. 


PLAYBOY 


maximumsecurity Brushy Mountain 
prison, he again tried to escape. This time 
he hid in a steam tunnel and got scalded 
out; he had picked the wrong tunnel— 
the other one in the yard led outside.) 
As for his wheeling and dealing at Mi 
sou one fellow inmate said, “He was 
the kind of guy who'd bring in ten dol- 
Jars’ worth of dope and sell it for twenty. 
This is while some guys are making ten 
grand a year in pills" Other convicts 
have said Ray made plenty. 
as Ray the kind of con who could 
plan and execute the King murder, then 
pe to three foreign countries? It's 
irue you can learn a lot inside the walls 
about new identities and passports. In 
the months before King's death, Ray did 
travel in Canada and Mexico, as well as 
extensively in the United States. Yet be- 
fore, he always had been a bungler. 
Dropping evidence at nipe’s would 
be his style, but eluding all the FBI 
agents would not. Perhaps, then, he was 
so deeply motivated by racism that he 
became inspired. Certainly, both in pri 
on and out, Ray exhibited deep infer 
ority feelings, ich he tried to allay 
through weight lifting, dance lessons, bar- 
tending lessons, hypnosis lessons, even 
plastic surgery, which changed the dis- 
tinctive shape of his nose, and maybe 
they finally all worked to make him more 
confident and efficient, (Or, some suspect, 
such activities were simply aids to the 
new identity he needed after killing King.) 
But was Ray a racist? His brothers ad- 
mit they are. Jerry openly displayed his 
feelings, once working for J. B. Stoner, 
a hypermisanthropic Klansman who 
helped form the black-hating National 
States Rights Party and whom he tried to 
retain as a lawyer for Jimmy after Ray's 
guilty plea netted him 99 years. As for 
Jimmy, he refused to live in the integrat- 
ed "honor" dormitory at Leavenworth. 
While loose in Los Angeles, he yolun- 
tecred in March 1968 to work for Wal- 
lace (Jerry, again, supposedly said Jimmy 
thought if King were out of the way, 
Wallace could more easily be elected). He 
had a barroom fight over “niggers” there, 
and also wrote for information on immi- 
grating to Rhodesia. A John Birch leaflet 
(along with a map, complete with Ray's 
thumbprint, on which were marked the 
locations of King's church and home) was 
found in a room in Atlanta allegedly 
rented by Ray just before the killing. 
And in England, after the assassination, 
Ray reportedly made inquiries about 
signing on as a mercenary in. Rhodesia 
or the Congo. Yet those facts, however 
suggestive, don't prove Ray killed for 
race reasons. A man who spent sevei 
years in the Missouri penitentiary with 
him a different feeling about that: 
"Td say he was about as close to me 
as he was to anybody, which wasn’t too 


214 close, He was an extreme introvert. He 


didn't mix .. he was only interested in 
gettin’ out. Any fucking way he could . . . 
he couldn't stand the lockup, he hated 
it. Time drove his shit, just to speak 
frankly. You know about King, lets 
assume that Ray was down South . . . 
well, he goes on down there and hc talks 
to two or three politicians, who are 
pretty influential people, and they could 
probably convince me that they could get 
me out of it or get me out of the country. 
A guy gets pretty fucking desperate out 
there on escape, you know. In my opin- 
ion [if Ray did Kill King], it wasn't out 
of any racist motive. If he was a racist, 
1 can honestly say I never heard this 
guy, not one time did I ever hear him 
say one word about or against a black 
man or a nigger. Not one time. He 
vasn't hostile, but now, man, you knew 
was there. His smile came easily. But 
he had a temper. That great little in- 
gratiating smile was pretty superficial." 
If Ray did kill King, what was his 
motive? There are several answers. The 
first is Ray's own, most of which he sold 
after his arrest to an Alabama writer 
named William Bradford Huie for 
money to pay for his defense (Huie's 
publication of much of Rays tale in 
Look before the trial date would these 
days be considered prejudicial, a point 
stressed in Rays petitions for a new 


account—documented in I. ol. 
footprints style—portrays a 
bold and ingenious criminal who comes 
to the bad end of being framed by a mys- 
terious man called Raoul. (Huie himself 
first believed that story of conspiracy, 
but then concluded Ray had done it by 
himself.) The story admits most of what 
the state of Tennessee would try to 
prove, differing only in the crucial detail 
of where Ray was when King was mur- 
dered. On that point, in fact, Ray has 
switched several times, as we'll see. But 
the rest was clear in his mind. 

We track Ray as he escaped on April 
23, 1967, and probably with his brother 
John's help made his way to Chicago 
(McMillan believes that the next day, 
Jimmy told John and Jerry he was going 
to kill King). He worked for two months 
in a restaurant kitchen. To his employers, 
this slim, quiet man was John Rayns, a 
model employee who didn’t seem at all to 
mind the Negroes he worked around. 
When he quit in late June, the owners 
were sorry to sce him go, but they wished. 
him well at his new job in Canada. 

But Ray didn’t go directly to Canada. 
With $450 and a $200 Chrysler—whose 
title, with his temporary driver's license, 
gave him a bit of tenuous LD.—he went 
to the St. Louis area, where brother John 
had a When the Chrysler broke 
down, he sold it and bought a $200 red 
Plymouth. 

In Canada, Ray/Rayns became Eric 
Starvo Galt. Huie believes Ray chose the 


aloon. 


name after passing the city of Galt, be- 
tween Detroit and Toronto. However, 
there is an Eric St. Vincent Galt in To- 
ronto, a writer, whose middle initials, St- 
V., when scrawled in signature, look like 
Starvo. Did Ray get that odd name there 
and, if so, why and where was he looking 
at Galt’s signature? (Its possible he 
sought out Galt’s signature as he liter, 
after King’s death, supposedly sought out 
Canadians who resembled him and whose 
names he could use in getting a pass- 
port.) 

Anyway, he first headed for Montreal 
where he hoped to find a C; i 
izen to act as guarantor of a 
he could use to get someplace “from 
which I could never be extradited.’ 
didn't know then that his prison infor- 
mation was out of date: Canadian law 
no longer required such a guarantor.) 
He also needed money. To get it, he 
told Huic, he robbed a whorchouse on 
July 18, though he later admitted it had 
been a supermarket. 

Alter the robbery, Ray bought all sorts 
of glad rags, sent for some sex manu 
enrolled in a locksmithing correspond- 
ence course and went to the exclusivc 
Gray Rocks Inn in the Laurentia 
Mountains, where he met and seduced 
à beautiful Canadian divorcee who he 
hoped would swear he was a Canad 
citizen. Ray admits all this, but he adds 
"Raoul" And Raoul is all. II he exists, 
the conspiracy exists. Ray himself said 
he hung around "the boats" in Montreal, 
looking for a way out of the country. 
He frequented a waterfront tavern called 
the Neptune. He says there he put out 
word that he might be available for ne- 
farious goings on, if fairly riskless, since 
he needed capital and an I. D. One day, 
a sandy-haired, mid-30ish French Cana- 
dian named Raoul showed up, saying he 

ave some things for Galt to do, 
le things at first, mind you, but 
then more and bigger, ending with lots 
of cash and all the papers Galt might 
need to get away to places with no 
extradition treaty with the U.S.; say, 
Rhodesia or wherever. 

And so, Ray says, began the associ 
n with Raoul that continued sporad- 
ically over the next eight months, until 
he told Ray to meet him in Memphis 
on April fourth on Main Street, where, 
Ray says, Raoul or somebody else must 
have killed King. 

Does Raoul exist? The prosecution 
said no, that Ray was a loner, No Raoul, 
just Ray suddenly turned clever, and if 
their sole eyewitness, Charles Stephens, 
couldn't exactly say it was Ray he'd scen 
running down the hall—and his mate had 
Said no, the man was blond, stocky, older 
than Ray, in an Army jacket and. plaid 
shirt —look at all the circumstances. 

Circumstances that, if true, unreel like 
a copsand-robbers movie scripted by Ray 
but subtitled by his accusers, their alter- 
nate versions wind 


passport 


just 


PLAYBOY 


216 


that blew away King. The star, James 
Earl Ray, begins: 


I'm Eric Starvo Galt in August 
1967, smuggling packages—hero- 
in?—for Raoul into the U. S., modest 
fee, $750, then being told to sell the 
old Plymouth and go to Birming- 
ham, Alabama, where Raoul would 
meet me, get the better I. D., give 
me money, a suitable car, and if I 
needed Raoul, here was a New Or- 
leans telephone number. He said 
there was $12,000 in it cv 
and it was 
things hadn't worked out wi 
passport. 

No, the opponents say, not that 
way. He went alone to Chicago and 
signed the Plymouth over to Jerry, 
and then went by train to Birming- 
ham, where he took dance lessons, 
lived in a rooming house, bought the 
white Mustang for $2000 cash, got a 
Galt driver’s license, bought surveil- 
lance-style photo equipment, movie 
stuff, just living there until October 
sixth. 

Raoul met me in Birmingham. We 
bought the car after I found it and 
he OK'd it. He gave me 5500 to live 
on and $500 for camera equipment 
he described to me, told me to lie 
low and stay out of trouble. I got 
Galt I. D. for driver's license and car 
registration, 

Uh-uh. Ray was living on his prison 
earnings and robbery money and 
probably wanted those cameras—he 
bought a Polaroid, too—for pornog- 
Taphy, to make money. He was just 
indulging himself, building up his 
self-importance, and he probably 
really liked being in Wallace 
country. 

I left Birmingham October sixth 
and went to Nuevo Laredo, where 
Raoul met me, and we smuggled a 
tire full of something across the 
border, and he gave me $2000 in 
20s and said he'd need me for other 
jobs, to keep in touch via that New 
Orleans number, why not stay in 
tid fine, there 


or Los 

Bull! Ray just lazed about in Mex- 
ico, mostly Puerto Vallarta, making 
it with three whores, posing as a 
writer, setting up to smuggle a bunch 
of grass into California. 

I'd like to go back there when I 
get out: it was good: I even proposed 
marriage to a woman named Irma, 
but it didn't work, so I left with some 
marijuana but got rid of it before 
crossing the border. 

He took it into L.A. by himself 
and those halcyon days were spent 
as much as anything else with that 
Polaroid, photographing himself, be- 
cause he was obsessed with wanting 


to be one of the Ten Most Wanted 
criminals, with his picture in all the 
post offices; he was so insecure, sce, 
like Oswald, and he was studying his 
photos so he could get his prominent 
feature—the end of his nose—al- 
tered by plastic surgery, so when the 
great crime occurred, he couldn't 
be recognized. 

Sure, I stayed in L.A. from No- 
vember 18, 1967, until March 17, 
1968. Had two apartments at differ- 
ent times and took bartending and 
dancing lessons, because if I lived 
in South America, they'd come in 
handy. Stuck with the locksmithing. 
d for two jobs but didn't 
Social Security card. Tried to 
about selfhypnosis; that's 
where those self-improvement books 
I had in England came from. Told 
the telephone company I was a 
Wallace worker so I'd get a. phone 
quick to use looking for a job. Had 
trouble over race with some people 
in a bar called the Rabbit's Foot. 

Hell, he told them since they 
loved niggers so much, he'd take "eim. 
on down to Watts and see how they 
liked it. And he inquired about go- 
ing to Africa. The hypnosis was 
strange; he actually gave that hyp- 
nolist his real name, since he be- 
lieved he'd tell the truth when 
hypnotized, anyway. 

T left for New Orleans December 
15, after Raoul wrote to me at G 
eral Delivery, saying come for a con- 
ference, they had a job for me. 
Charley Stein rode with me—he's 
the cousin of a girl I met—to take 
his sisters kids back to L.A. The 
ride was a favor, but I made them 
register for Wallace before we left. 
Anyway, I saw Raoul and he told 
me to be ready for a job in two or 
three months, hinted that there was 
some big busines involved. He 
gave me another $500 in 20s. 

Typical lie. He went because he 
was into some solo dope deal and 
Charley Stein's saying he made sev- 
eral long-distance calls to New Or- 
leans along the way doesn’t change 
il, since he always kept in touch with 
Jeny, anyway, so maybe the calls 
weren't to New Orleans. And Raoul 
never wrote to him. He decided to 
go the night before they lejt, because 
he called that morning and canceled 
his appointment with the hypnotist, 
so again, no Raoul. 

On March fifth, I had the tip of my 
nose cut off so I couldn't be recog- 
nized in any of those deals, because 
Raoul wrote in February and s 
the deal was on for about May first, 
the one we'd talked about, running 
guns, so I was to meet him in New 
Orleans about March 20 and finally 
I'd get the 12 grand and papers. 


Sure, that was about when he de- 
cided to kill King; it was building 
in him, all the Wallace hatred, the 
desire to make the top ten, and Ray 
had heard enough when King was 
in L.A. March 16 and 17 and he'd 
had the nose job, so he stayed out 
his rent like the tightwad he was 
and took off to go find King and 
shoot him. 


"Thats the way it is for each and the 
frames y as Galt leaves L.A. 
He drove to New Orleans, got word there 
to meet Raoul next in Birmingham, ex- 
cept, he vows, he got lost and had to spend 
the night of March 22 in Selma (Wrong! 
the accusers say; you were stalking King, 
who had been in Selma); then on to Bir- 
mingham and Raoul and then to At 
Janta to that dumpy rooming house, where 
we heard about the gun deal (No! You 
lone and after King, marking h 
haunts those days on a map) . . then 
faster, faster, the images melting . . . I 
bought the 243 and then exchanged it, 
like Raoul told me, in Birmingham the 
29th and 30th (You did it alone!), and 
then went by slow stops to Memphis, just 
me, with this gun they were going to us 
for a sample, Raoul said, for the buyers i 
Memphis who'd take that kind and hu 
dreds of cheap foreign rifles (Sorry! You 
went back to Atlanta for King but found 
he would be in Memphis on April fourth, 
so you went the third). . .. No, no, Raoul 
met me near Memphis in a Mississippi 
motel on the second and took the rifle 
and told me to go to Memphis on the 
third and stay at the Rebel motel (Yes, 
you did, but you got there the third, 
signed in—we have your handwriting— 
and found where King was and went the 
next day to kill hing. . . No, Raoul came 
to room 5B with the gun (But Mrs. Brew- 
er doesn't remember anyone asking where 
Mr. Willard's room was) and I went to 
South Main, I've told you, and bought 
the binoculars, and about five o'clock he 
sent me out for some beer so they could 
make the deal, and I went to Jim’s Grill 
downstairs (You can’t describe the place 
and no one remembers you there), 
and then 1 was on the sidewalk and 
heard this shot amd here came Raoul 
and dumped the bundle and jumped 
in the car and covered himself with that 
white sheet and we took off, then stopped 
a few blocks away and Raoul jumped 
out, the last I saw of him, and I was 
scared and took off (You say that? Why, 
then, did you through your lawyers 
nge your story later and say you were 
filling station with the Mustang, 
getting a low tire checked?). OK, I made 
up that sheet business and told it to 
Huic because I was scared, trapped, Huic 
was pressing me to confess so his book 
would sell. but I can prove it, there's a 
filling-station attendant and some others 
who'll say they remembered the car and 


writers today is you have no finesse, no 


with you 
subtlety; you leave too little to the imagination.” 


“The trouble 


217 


Playboy Book Club 
has everything you need 
for reading pleasure! 


Join Playboy Book Club now and select four choices from the 
books shown (some deluxe volumes count as two choices) 
for only $2.95! The total value can be as high as $60.00. And, 
in addition, we will send you still another book—a surprise 
chosen by our editors—absolutely FREE! 


| TENNIS 
E STROKES & 


PHOTOGRAPHY 


BRADLEY SMITH 


213 21 210 209 
Pub. Price $8.95 Pub. Price $9.95 Pub. Price $12.95 Pub. Price $15.95 
(counts as two choices) (counts as two choices) 


2t 853 203 211 901 

EU Pa Eis Pub. Price E PED $35.00 Pub. Price $8.95 Pub. Price $7.95 
[counts as (counts as r I 6.95 (counts as — — 

two choices) two choices) $10.85 Y 


two choices) 7 


209 107 

Pub. Price $12.50 Pub. Price $17.95 
{counts as (counts as 
two choices) choices) 


PORT 


178 
ub. 


166 
. Price Pub. Price $7.95 
$2.95 


(counts as 


SYLVIA 
ERS 
EY 


184 202 
Pub. Price $14.95 Pub. Price $7.95 
two choices) 


Club Benefits 


In addition to the dramatic saving on your 
enrollment books (value up to $60.00 for only 
$2.95), plus a free surprise book, you will save 
substantially on most of the books you buy later. 

Playboy's Choice, the Club publication that 
tells you all about each Selection and the many 
Alternates, will be sent to you 15 times a year— 
without charge, of course. If you want a Selec- 
tion, you need do nothing—it will be shipped to 
you automatically. If you do not wanta Selection, 
or want a different book, or want no book at all 
that month, simply indicate your decision on the. 
reply form enclosed with Playboy's Choice and 
mail it so we receive it by the date specified 
on the form, 

Our guarantee: If you should ever receive 
Playboy's Choice late, so that you have less than 
10 days to decide on the Selection, and the 
Selection is sent to you, you may return it at 
Club expense. 


(counts as two choices) 


A PICTORIAL HISTORY Oi 


145 207 206 

Pub. Price Pub. Price $16.95 Pub. Price $12.50 
$7.95 ( (counts as 

two choices) two choices) 


186 121 

Pub. Price $19.95 Pub. Price $12.95 
(counts es (counts as. 

two choices) two choices) 


(counts as two cholces) 


4804-06 
Lemoyne, Pa. 17043 


Yes. enroll me as a new member and send me the books 
whose numbers | have listed in the boxes. In listing them, | have 
allowed for the fact that some deluxe volumes count as two choices. 
vou will bill me only $2.95 for all of them. 

You will also send me, free of charge, a surprise bonus book, 
hard-bound, publisher's price at least $6.95. 

agree to purchase at least four additional books from the 
many hundreds of Club Selections or Alternates that will be offered 
to members in the coming year, mest of them at special members’ 
prices. | can cancel my membership any time after | buy those four 
books. I have noted that a shipping charge is added to all shipments. 


CE xxx 

{please print) 
A Address EAS 
2 Zip. 


6-34 


PLAYBOY 


“Tell me all about yourself. 
What kind of work do you do? Where did you go to school? 
How long do you last in bed?" 


ix o'dock; no, I didn't 
kill King, didu't fire that shot. 

And then, freeze frame of King 
falling. 

Every scene after that is anticlimactic, 
though fascinating. Ray admits he drove 
alone to Atlanta the night of April 
fourth and abandoned his car. He then 
returned to Canada, arriving in Toronto 
on the eighth. He lived again in rooming 
houses, in which he read of the riots, the 
grief, the universal condemnation of 
King’s murder (if Ray or someone else had 
expected most of America to applaud, 
he was disheartened). Ray says he was 
fleeing in fear that Raoul and those who 
had set him up would now come and 
ill him, that he hadn't even. known 
King was dead until he heard it on his 
Mustang's radio. 

Fleeing he certainly was, and in ways 
the prosecution said were con-wise and 
the conspiracy bulls say are sure signals 
he had help. Again, he needed money 
and an ID., however he got them. Ray 
has said he went to the library and 
looked up several Toronto births for 

„ finally choosing two names and, 
ing his roominghouse address, ap- 
for birth certificates in their 
—Paul E. Bridgman and Ramon 

neyd. He picked 1932 to approx- 


gi 
plied 
nam 

Georg 


220 imate his age and, to verify a general 


resemblance, he floated around in their 
neighborhoods and made sure they were 
of medium height, medium weight, dark- 
haired. A clever scheme. Too clever for 
Ray, the conspiracy theorists say, espe- 
cially since Sneyd—in whose name Ray 
easily got a passport through a travel 
agent—was a policeman, and did not 
that imply an international conspiracy? 
Some people wonder, too, about Bridg- 
1's story that he got a call from some 
one who said he was checking to see 
he had a passport. But Ray says he did 
that. 

In any event, on May sixth, Ray as 
Sneyd flew to London on a $345 21-day 
excursion ticket. He cashed in the return 
ticket and went on to Lisbon, there to try 
to escape to Angola as a mercenary. It was 
none too scon; by then the world knew 
Galt, Lowmyer and Willard were 
. His picture had 


rea 
been in the 
countries 
prosecuti. 
he must have been gi 


atified). Even so, it 


had taken the FBI a long time—until 
April 19—to identify Ray, despite the 
mound of evidence at Canipe's. In fact, 
it hadn't been until April 18, after 


room in Adanta 
on the map, tha 
they started checking the fingerprint files 
of Federal offenders. Ray's fingerprints 


agents came upon Ra 


were there because of his money-order 
caper. OF the 53,000 cards, his was the 
700th up. Lucky FBI. But why hadn't 
they immediately checked the serial num- 
ber on the wansistor radio left in the 
bundle? They'd have found that Ray had 
bought it in the Missouri pen and that 
would have told the bureau who had 
dropped all the stuft. Maybe then he 


would have been picked up sooner. Or 
did someone not want him picked up, as 
many have asked? 

Yet he was picked up. There was noth- 


almost broke, Ray on 
June fourth robbed a savings bank of 
$240. On the cighth, he went to Heath- 
row for a flight to Brussels, but there De- 
tective Sergeant Phillip Birch of Scotland 
Yard, on the lookout for someone using 
Sneyd's passport with Ray's picture in 
brought his hand down firmly on Ray's 
shoulder. It was over. Ray handed over his 
cheap .38 and was taken to prison, where 
one man reported he uttered some of the 
few pitiable words anyone ever heard him 
say: “Oh, God, I feel so trapped 

That was true, in many ways. Take 
the judicial irregularities as one dimen- 
sion of Ray's dilemma. His extradition 
from England—to which he agreed upon 
advice of counsel, though he could h: 


on the questio 
Stephens’ and the inconclusive b: 
and firearms evidence. Ray's return to 
the United States and subsequent im- 
prisonment were of dubious legality and 
constitutionality and showed how scared 
the Government was running. The re- 
turn was accomplished in an Air Force 
C135, with Ray strapped to a seat and 
surrounded by inquisitive Government 
cops. He was them suipped, searched, 
manacled and nsferred, in an armored 
truck, to the Shelby County Jail. where. 
for eight months, he lived in a special cell 
section that was continuously flood. 
lighted, monitored by TV and shuttered 
from the sense of day and night by 
quarter inch steel plates. 

Attorneys have been a problem for Ray, 
one he has exacerbated by his jailhouse 
yering. He first wanted F. Lee Bailey 
(an index of his sense of importance), but 
when Bailey declined, he got Arthur 
Hanes, Sr., the mayor of Birmingham 
back in the Bull Connor, cattle-prod, 
fire-hose and sick-the-dogs-on-the-niggers 
day He succ 
fully defended the KI killers of 
Viola Liuzzo and he m; ns he could 
have done the same for He and his 
son investigated Ray's story as much as 
they could in preparing the case, and both 
thought it possible there had been a con- 
spiracy. But it wasn't the key to their de- 
fense. They had detected large holes in 
the state's circumstantial evidence and 
they would attack those, But Ray fired 


. Hanes is a good lawyer 
n 


1968, two days 


The reasons are uncert Cynics think 
he did it to postpone the tial until 
George Wallace could be elected that 
month and then pardon him. More prob- 
ably, the reasons lie, as Ray has said, in 
the Catch22 agreement under which 
Hanes worked. Hanes actually was paid 
by Huie, who was financing Ray's defense 
hing stories that 
indicated Ray was guilty. Thus, Ray may 
have decided that Huie needed him 
guilty, since much of the big-bucks poten- 
for his articles and his book depended 

r being an inside story. So couldn't 
Huie accordingly influence his partner's, 
Hanes's, conduct of the trial? Jerry Ray, 
for example, testified he told Jimmy that 
Huie offered him $12,000 to- get 
ay off the stand: 
was innocent when Huie had decided he 
was guilty. So Jimmy decided to fire 
Hanes. 

For their parts, both Hanes and Huic 
have opined that’s nonsense. Hanes says 
he had a fine case and H says a fair 
trial would have helped his book, no 
matter what the result (as it was, Ray's 
guilty plea obyiated and turned 
Huie's book into a big loser). 

Whatever the truth, Ray got his post- 
c case at Jerry 
Foreman, the 
à Texas cri lawyer who 
bossted he'd won more cases than. 
ence Darrow, had lost only one killer 
to the electric chair, and that was just 
because his fees were punishment 
enough for any criminal. Now the fur 
would fly. Except that several things 
happened. First, Foreman found that 
Huie was the money man and, like 
Hanes, promptly struck a d 
HuieRay-Hanes literary 
his fee, supposedly $150,000. Second, he 
says he DER found that the state had a 


cats Pin res uan e c 
Hanes's files) and so Ray was going to 
the electric chair unless he pleaded guilty. 
appeared 
sheepish 
dient and ins s legal 
battle, the onlookers saw the pro forma 
rigmarole of Rays agreeing with the 55 
stipulations the state had marshaled that 
James y alone had killed 
Lu Was Mr. Ray 
"Yes, guilty, uh-huh,” 
Ray's reply. That was that, except 
for a potentially exhilarating moment 
that died a-borning when Ray rose up 
and said no, he just couldn't agree with 
k and Mr, Hoover n there 
hadn't been a conspiracy. Nothing more 
man 900 f Mem- 


payments to Hanes through Ray. He left 


JACK DANIELS 


DUCKS love everyone. 


But they love our miller, Henry Owen, best. 


Henry buys corn, barley and rye from grain 


farmers who haul it in from all over. He inspects 
every load to make sure he's buying the best. And 


then he favors our ducks 
with the spillage. In all our 
years, we've never heard 
a duck complain about 
our miller's selections. 
And happily, we haven't 
had many squawks from 
people either. 


CHARCOAL 
MELLOWED 


0 


DROP 


BY DROP 


Tennessee Whiskey + 90 Proof - Distilled and Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery 
Lem Motlow, Prop., Inc., Lynchburg (Pop. 361), Tennessee 37352 


Placed in the National Register of Historic Places by the United States Government. 


221 


PLAYBOY 


222 


behind several questions. Was it true, 
as Ray daimed, that Foreman had 
coerced him into the guilty plea—"You'll 
bar-be-cue, boy!"—even put pressure on 
Ray's family to influence Jimmy to cop 
a plea? Why hadn't Foreman spent more 
time on the case? (He was with Ray only 
one hour and 53 minutes in the first 70. 
days of preparing the defense, though he 
aw him more often in the days preceding 
the plea, the better to railroad him, Rays 
advocates think.) Had Huie convinced 
Foreman that Ray was dead guilty (it's 
ie Huie was summoned by the grand 
jury—some of Ray's recent lawyers 
suspect that he further incriminated their 
client then) and so called Foreman off? 
Was it true, therefore, that Foreman had 
not, as other lawyers have since alleged, 
provided adequate counsel for Ray? 
Finally, was Rays accusation—related by 
John Ray—justified that Foreman had 
told him the trial judge would grant no 
more continuances, even if Ray fired 
Foreman, and, therefore, that he had no 
choice but to plead guilty, unless he 
wanted to be left only with the public 
defender as counsel? 

Three days after his guilty plea, Ray 
wrote to the trial judge, asking for a new 
L consistent with Tennessee law. 
y's request was rejected because the 
il judge had died of a heart attack, 
Tennessee statute, put Ray's 
request within another judges jurisdic 
He denied a new trial. Since then, 
Ray has kept trying through a succession 
of lawyers, including the racist Stoner, to 


secure a new trial on the murder charge 
(and to secure compensation for allegedly 
libelous statements published by Huie 
and others). The grandest attempt came 
in October 1974, at a U. S. district court 
cvidentiary hearing that had been 
ordered by a U.S. court of appeals. 
Largely based on the arguments of at- 
mes Lesar—the hardest-working 
y's recent lawyers—the court found 
that Ray's judicial record reeked with 
"ethical, moral and professional irregu- 
larities” and that Ray's attorneys, Hanes 
and Foreman, were more interested in 
capitalizing on a notorious case than in 
representing the best interests of their 
client." But in February 1975, despite the 
success Ray's defense team had in intro- 
ducing vital questions on the evidence, 
the court ruled against the petition. An 
appeal is pending. And so are the vital 
questions. 

We've seen the we ess of Charles 
Stephens’ identification of Ray as the 
man in the rooming house. (The police, 
by the way, sequestered Stephens after 
the killing, providing him with bed and 
booze, while his wife, Grace, was put 
away in a state mental hospital, still 
contending that Charley was wrong.) It 
more were needed to impeach Stephens’ 
testimony, Ray's lawyers interviewed a 
driver named James McCraw who 
said that on April fourth he had been 
dispatched to 4221 Street to pick 
up Charley about 5:30" and found him 
too drunk to walk, so he had left. McCraw 
also told a defens sberg. 


“Julia’s assertiveness training is really paying off—she was 
just arrested for aggravated assault.” 


that he had double-parked in front of 
Jim's Crill where, in one of Rays 
stories, Ray was sent by Raoul to get 
beer—and had seen no white Mustang 
on the street (which fits Ray's second story 
about being away from the place al- 
together). Further, a newsman supposedly 
saw Grace and Charley at police head- 
quarters on the evening of April filth, 
nd Charley was too drink-sodden to say 
why he was there. All of this leads skeptics 
to think Stephens may have heen er 
couraged to perjure himself. 


We have, too, the suggestive but 


conclusive ballistics data: a slug that, ac- 
cording to the FBI, was only “consistent 
with” a .30-06 (a slug that, despite its 
mutilation, might, according to some ex- 
pers, have been matched to the rifle) 
allegedly fired from an awkward position. 
Indeed, a criminologist active in assassi- 
nation inquirics—Herbert MacDonnell— 
told the Federal court that it would have 
been impossible with the 42-inch-long 
Gamemaster to stand in the tub and get 
the needed angle on King, that to do so 
the rifle’s butt would have to be six inches 
within the wall. Impossible, that is, if the 
rifle made the prosecution's dent, a semi- 
circular indentation in the bathroom 
window’s inner sill that the state claims 
was made for the rifle barrel, Unfortu- 
nately for MacDonnell, you can aim from 
the tub if you put the rifle far enough out 
the window. 

Whate the FBI's own documents 
show there are no splinters torn from the 
sill or powder marks on it as there would 
have been if the barrel had rested in the 
dent. It's conceivable that the dent was 
made by a hammer. It has also been sug- 
gested that the window in the sniper's 
nest was not open at the time of the 
shot and, furthermore, that an object sat 
on the window sill that was substan 
enough to prevent a rifle from being 
shoved through the window and knock- 
ing a screen to the ground, as the state 
maintains. The shot simply had to 
come from elsewhere, according to Ray's 
advocates. (However, trajectory. studies 
indicate the shot did come from the 
bathroom.) 

If those contentions sound like some 
advanced by doubters of the Warren 
Report, so do the musings on the weapon 
itself. Why, for example, was the 243 
exchanged for the 30-06? The 243 is a 
splendid sniper’s weapon, with a high 
velocity and 2 flatter trajectory than the 
30-06. The prosecution believes the ex- 
change was made because the .243 had 
a flaw in che chamber and so the ca: 
tridges couldn't be smoothly loaded. 
Ray's defenders say that's absurd, that 
anyone as familiar with rifles as the state 
assumes Ray was could have used 
emery board to smooth the imperfection. 
No, the exchange was made because 
those who were framing Ray were going 
to use a 30°06 and so needed a matching 
weapon. And one loaded with their 


Stress 
canrob you 
of vitamins 


| Stresstabs 600 


High Potency 


Stress Formula Vitamins 


OMMENDED INTAKE:AdIIS 
ally or as directed by the physi? 


How stress can deplete your 
body's stores of water-soluble B 
and C vitamins. Stress can upset 
your body's equilibrium. When it does, 
you may need to replace the water- 
soluble vitamins, B-complex and C. 
Unlike the fat-soluble vitamins, your 
body doesn’t stockpile these essential 
nutrients. During times of continued 
stress—when you may be affected in 
many ways— your body may use up 
more B and C vitamins than your 
daily meals provide. 


What may cause stress. If the diet 
is inadequate, severe injury or infec- 
tion, chronic overwork, too many 
martini lunches, fad dieting—any one 
of these conditions may create stress 
and may cause water-soluble vitamin 
depletion 


Why many doctors recommend 
STRESSIABS" 600 High Potency 
Stress Formula Vitamins. 
STRESSTABS 600 has a single 
purpose: to help you correct a water- 
soluble vitamin deficiency. With 

600 mg. of Vitamin C, and B-complex 
vitamins, high potency STRESSTABS 
600 can help restore water-soluble 
vitamin losses and help maintain 
good nutritional balance. 
STRESSTABS 600 satisfies your 
body's above-normal water-soluble 
vitamin requirements by providing 
above-normal quantities of these 
vitamins. STRESSTABS 600 also 
contains the U.S. Recommended 
Daily Allowance of natural Vitamin E. 


Talk to the experts about 
STRESSTABS 600. Ask your doctor 
and pharmacist what they think of 
this different brand of vitamin. 
Available, without a prescription, at 
your drug store in bottles of 60 tablets 
or trial bottles of 30. 


Aproduct ofLederle Laboratories 


PLAYBOY 


patsy's fingerprints. The inveterate skep- 
tic Weisberg points out that a .30-06 
Gamemaster was stolen from a Memphis 
sporting-goods store shortly before the as- 
sassination. Others have opined that 
choosing a Gamemaster was mot con- 
sistent with such a masterful frame-up. 
Why pick a distinctive pump-action high- 
powered rifle rather than a more com- 
mon boltaction weapon? No, they say, 
the choice—like Oswald's—was that of a 
lone and inexperienced killer. (Some. 
wonder, too, if Raoul's alleged gun buy- 
ers would want pump-action guns for 
paramilitary use.) 

"The last speculations about the weapon 
and its effects also remind us of the 
John Kennedy case. Why were there 
five full-jacketed military .30-06 rounds 
mong the hollow-point hunting 
the bundle of evidence? 
ion that these 
an the Government was involved (mil- 
itary .30-06 rounds are widely available), 
we can ask which sort of cartridge killed 
King. Weisberg' suits under the Freedom 
of Information Act have unearthed docu- 
ments that he says prove the FBI has 
covered up or distorted important facts 
about that. Their spectrographic tests, 
Weisberg claims, show only one kind of 
metal on King’s clothing, whereas hollow 
points are alloys of several metals. On the 
other hand, the FBI report m ly be 
on a fragment from another kind of 
round, which would imply two bullets. 
As of today, though, the autopsy physician 
continues to say there was only one bullet. 

Even so, there are peculiarities. Was 
the assassin so confident—more even 
than Oswald—that he would have 
chambered only one round? Some say no 
clip was in the rifle found at Canipe’s, 
though one was in the box. The state 
believes that Ray, the bungling sniper, 
saw King come out suddenly, was sur- 
prised, jammed one round home, ran 
to the bathroom and shot. But assuming 
Ray alone did the killing, and assuming 
he carefully chose his sniper's nest, per- 
haps by walking down Main, seeking a 
flophouse overlooking the Lorraine, why 
would he not have the clip in his rifle? 
‘The state says he had been there since 
about 3:30. He'd taken his bag with him. 
Wouldn't a dedicated racist assassin be 
prepared to kill King? Or, if he were 
expecting a quick job, one shot, why 
would his spread, zippered bag and all 
the rest be with him instead of in the 
Mustang? 

Could he even have packed up all 
that gear and escaped in the time avail- 
able? Ray's defenders have long said they 
didn't sce how he could have run from the 
bathroom, put the rifle in the box, wrap 
it and the overnight bag in the spread, 
run down the hall and the stairs, drop the 
bundle, get into his car and drive away 
when there were cops all over the place, 


224 many of them in the fire station on the 


corner, then also serving as a police ob- 
servation post. Besides, Ray's defense 
team says, a Lieutenant J. E. Ghormley 
was on Main Street in time to see Ray 
escape, if Ray had done it. Before the 
shot, Ghorniley was in the fire station with 
the crews from three al Action 
Cruisers. When King fell, police rushed 
from the fire station toward the Lor- 
ine, but Ghormley was impeded by 
bad leg. He decided not to jump dow 
from the wall above Mulberry Street, 


then thought of the sniper’s possible lo- 
cation 
Main, 


and walked briskly to South 
where he found the bundle, 
ipe and, with his walkie- 
talkie, radioed an alert for the young 
man in a white car. In 
struction for CBS, it was 
took three minutes to get to Canipe' 
Previously, however, he had estimated ii 
could have taken no more than a minute. 
Defense attorneys have duplicated 
Ghormleys movements in less than a 
minute. Ray could have escaped in three 
minutes but not in one, And whichever 
time applies, Ghormley saw nothing on 
the street. No car, no man, only the 
bundle in the doors He also says he 
saw nothing in the parking lot next to 
Canipe's. That fact, put next to perple: 
ing and contradictory statements by 
nipe, has led some of Ray's advocates 
ternate version of what might 
Ily have happened. 
hey hypothesize that the real assassins 
were in that parking Jot. ‘Two of them, 
a hit man and wheeln an- 
other white Mu: ady 
been set up by his prints, his gear, his 
presence in the rooming house, and now 
he'd been sent down to get beer. The 
conspirators could make up the bundle 
while Ray was gone and he'd be casily 
caught at the scene. But Ray had noticed 
that a tire was low and had gone off to get 
it pumped up, and new witnesses could 
prove it, but the killers didn't know that, 
and they were watching the motel, and 
out came King, and the hit man said 
something like, Theres the son of a 
bitch now, go drop the bundle,” and the 
wheel man dropped it at Canipe's, but 
the hit man couldn’t shoot just then, be- 
cause g Was with somebody on the 
balcony, looking straight at them, and 
he waited a minute and then King was 
alone, and the hit man blew him aw 
They peeled off in the Mustang. That 
was the car Canipe saw, and a bit later, 
Ray went back, saw the confusion and 
took off, having figured out that he'd 
been set up. One bit of proof is that 
Canipc once said the bundle was dropped 
about five minutes before the 6:01 shot. 
Certainly, Ghormley would say there was 
nobody in the parking lot. The killers 
were gone. 
Here, then, is the outline of a possible 
defense for Ray. It has never been tried 
in . No jury has heard what 
Canipe now believes, or decided whether 


Ghormley's recollections mean the kill- 
ers could have been in the parking lot 
or that they couldn't. 

There is also the tale told by a derelict 
named Harold “Cornbread” Carter, who 
said he was drinking in the yard behind 
the rooming house when he saw a rifle- 
man shoot, pull the stock off the gun, 
drop it and run off. Or that of King’s 
chauffeur, Solomon Jones, who, from hi 
position in the courtyard of the Lorraine 


just below the balcony, said that in the 
shor's echoes he'd seen a man, his head 
cloaked by a white sheet or hood, in the 


dense bushes facing the Lorraine above 
Mulberry Street, who then sans sheet 
emerged to disappear into the gathering 
crowd (people remembering the white 
sheet said to have been found in Ray's 
car think that intriguing). 

There are accounts spread by a Mem- 
phis lawyer and former newspaper re- 
porter named Wayne Chastain that a 
mysterious "advance man” visited the 
Lorraine and arranged for King to stay 
in a second-floor room instead of the 
usual ground-floor room. 

Chastain also, in an interview with 
Ray, seems to have elicited yet a third ac- 
count of where he was during the shoot- 
ing. Raoul gave him $200 and told him to 
go to a movie (not to Jim's Grill), but he 
had seen the vexing tire and went to have 
it fixed, and at 6:05 was on his way back 
when he saw an ambulance pass (pre- 
sumably with King) and then he saw 
the mob scene and split. 

"Two older stories suggesting a con- 
spiracy have recently becn joined to 
nother theory engendering a King CIA. 

„ Dallas mongrel reminiscent of 
John Kennedy. A week after the killing. 
a man calling himself Tony Benev 
told a Memphis attorney that hi 
roommate had killed King for money 
with a 30 caliber rifle from the wall be- 
hind the rooming house and then gotte 
away on a motorbike. The man struck 
the attorney as believable. especial 
since, like a real mobster, he knew that 
the best place to conceal a pistol was in 
the small of the back. The man said he 
was from New Orleans but was headed 
for Brownsville, Tennessee, to meet 
Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux K 
The same da 


n. 
„a man calling himself J. 
ecche told two 
named Nick had killed 
for $20,000 for a wellknown fraternal 
order, that he himself worked for 
the Mafia and was now on the lam over 
some lost money. He showed the minis. 
ters à counterfeit traveler's check and 
how his fingerprints had been filed 
off. and then said he was off for Browns- 
ville. Queer as these stories seemed, 
they were regarded mainly as more of 
the “I did it” embroidery with which 
well-publicized murders are decorated. 
Now it's suggested that these two sinister 
men with the similar names may be one 
inister man named Jack Youngblood, a 


PLAYBOY 


226 


former mercenary for Castro, a man al- 
leged to have discussed gunrunning with, 
of all people, Jack Ruby, and a man 
whose friends think he had ties to the 
CIA. Youngblood, its theorized, tici- 
pated in the conspiracy, perhaps Raoul's, 
that killed King. He's reportedly been 
identified as the man who ordered eggs 
and sausages at Jim's Grill about 4:30 the 
afternoon of the murder, then left about 
five r.. The Memphis police supposedly 
then questioned Youngblood but re- 
leased him. Ray's attorney in Memphis, 
Robert Livingston, is said to believe 
Youngblood was the hit man for some 
agency of the Federal Government. But 
no one has yet shown that Youngblood- 
Benevitas-Bonnevecche are one, or whom. 
this multiphasic personality worked for. 
Not a scintilla of evidence yet points to 
Youngblood as anything but one of 
those dark presences hovering around 
Cuban exiles during the palmy days 
when the CIA was waging its own little 
war on Castro. 

The Youngblood story, predictably, is 
not the only farfetched tale. For a time, 
attorneys Bernard Fensterwald (who has 
lately acted as Ray's chief counsel) and 
Livingston were taken by the story, re- 
lated in spy-story meetings, of a convicted 
confidence man named Clifford Holmes 
Andrews, who said he could say who 
killed King. A hint: It was two men, hired 
by four wealthy whites. Fine, except that 
Andrews next told CBS it was Raoul 
id members of the Quebec Liberation 
Front, again, employed by four rich 
racists. And except that Andrews was in 
a Canadia l from March 1968 until 


another prisoner, a young accused dope 
dealer named Robert Byron Watson, 
who has said he overheard his employers 
at an Atlanta art gallery plotting King's 

ssination. It’s also been reported that 
x months before the murder, a group 
of people visited a jail in Auanta, look- 
ing for inmates to help murder King. 
Meanwhile, back in Tennessee, a black 
businessman named John MeFerren 
came forward right after the killing to 
say he'd overheard a white man in a 
produce house in Memphis, about five 
P.M. on April fourth, say over the tele- 
phone, “You can shoot the son of a bitch 
on the balcony . . . you can pick up the 
five thousand bucks from my brother in 
New Orleans.” Still another man d. 
a day or so before April fourth; that he'd 
d men in Baton Rouge plotting 
g's death. 

It could be that the last two rumors, 
even if unfounded, are correct geo- 
graphically. As with John Kennedy, 
many s i 
gether 
Orleans. Ray told Huie he was there 
meeting Raoul, and it's been established 
that he did visit New Orle: in Decem- 
ber 1967 and again on his way to that 
fateful appointment in Memphis. (Not 
incidentally, it's been asserted that the 
FBI flew some Viceroy cigarette buus 
found in Ray's car to New Orleans for 
analysis, causing some to wonder if, since 
Ray didn't smoke, Raoul did.) 

Further, Ray often has said he gave 
Foreman two Louisiana telephone num- 
bers, so that the lawyer could contact 
people, presumably induding Raoul, 
who knew something about the murder. 


a pmt 


“All right, but you can't wear them 
outside, only in the house.” 


Foreman says he clearly remembers only 
one number, in New Orleans, and he 
found the phone disconnected. In Decem- 
ber 1973, Ray filed a $500,000 suit against 
the state of Tennessee, in which he 
alleged that Foreman had failed to in- 
vestigate these numbers, while another 
attorney—by then conveniently de- 
ceased had looked up the phone numbers 
and found that one belonged to a Baton 
Rouge “parish official under the influence 
of a Teamsters Union official” and the 
other to “an agent of a Mideastoriented 
organization disturbed because of Dr. 
Martin Luther Kings reported forth- 
coming, before his death, support of the 
Palestine Arab cause.” But Ray's suit did 
not name the individuals or list the num- 
bers. It did not say what connection these 
people had to the case or the source of the 
information on the union officcr and geo- 
politics (some think his lawyers fed him 
this ). The suit, typically, created 
more mystery, as it may have been de- 
signed to do. In the meantime, the tclc- 
phoning went on. Another number—the 
one Ray, according to Charley Stein, had 
dialed often on their trip to New Orleans 
in December—was purportedly secured 
from Stein by a West Coast reporter. 
Early in 1969, the newsman said he called 
the number and was answered by a voice 
that identified the location à na 
te Police barracks. The reporter asked 
for Raoul and, in sheer implausibili 
one answered: Raul Esquivel, Sr., a high- 
way patrolman apparently stationed at 
12400 Airline Highway, Baton Rouge. 
However, no connection between this 
Raul and Ray's shadowy accomplice has 
ever been found, and the number could 
have been planted with Stein, or even 
with Ray. 

Baton Rouge is interesting, though, 
at least to people who believe in a con- 
spiracy. The state capital was a stomping 
ground for Leander Perez, the legendary 
Louisiana power broker who once pub- 
licly wished King were dead. Perez had 
strong allies among organized labor. 
One reputedly was Edward G. “Whitey” 
Partin, the former Louisiana Teamsters 
official who once told Justice Department 
investigators that Jimmy Hoffa had 
threatened to have Robert Kennedy 
killed. And Partin, it's alleged, had an 
associate who closely resembled the man 
Grace Walden described as being in the 
hall at 42214 Main Street: Small- bone 
built. He had on an Army-colored hunt- 
ing jacket unfastened and dark pants. He 
had on a plaid sport shirt. His hair was 
salrand-pepper colored.” Conspiracy 
fanciers quickly recall the field jacket 
supposedly found in Ray's car that, like 
other items, was too small for him. They 
seize, too, on rumors that t man—an- 
other shrouded figure—hung around 
Perez followers and mafiosi from New 
Orleans. Vet any role in King's assassi- 
nation by this unnamed man, or the 


Mob, or Perez, or Partin, remains strictly 
conjectural. . 

Not so tenuous is the Teamsters hy- 
pothesis. It was, after all. a labor dispute 
that took King to Memphis. A dis- 
pute by a black union. Men who drove 
trucks on their sanitation rounds. It's 
conceivable that in an atmosphere of 
hate and turmoil, two or three angry 
union men could, in a Yablonski reac 
tion, decide to take out this superspade, 
this Communist, who was Ieading people 
who wanted to get their jobs, worse, get 
so high on the ladder that folks wouldn't 
judge just by color anymore. Yes, that's 
feasible; but again, there is no proof. 
Only rumors, speculations, thick as flies 
around a battlefield corpse and as various 
in their directions. Everyone is suspect 
and, like the echoes from D. Plaza, 
the murder's mad music goes on and on. 

Would a new investigation help stop 
the carrousel? As we go to press, it is 
reported that the Justice Department's 
civil rights division will ask Attorney 
General Edward II. Levi to appoint an 
independent non-Governmental panel to 
study King’s assassination and to decide 
whether a new fullscale invest 
should be made, The recommendation 
comes, it’s said, because Ray's motives 
and activities have not been fully ex- 
plained and because, even though an ex- 
tensive review of the original FBI 
investigation has revealed no Govern- 
mental involv 
remain questions. We agree. Certainly, 
the official explanation is doubted, with 
80 percent of Americans joining Coretta 
King and Ralph Abernathy and Jesse 
Jackson in thinking King [ell to a con- 
Spiracy. Certainly, there still are worth- 
while leads to investigate, witnesses to 
call, stories to assess, maybe even truths 
to find. The best witness—James Earl 
Ray—is lable. He secks a trial, 
though he has said he won't help solve the 
crime by naming conspirators. Shouldn't 
Ray's various protestations of innocence 
be tested in a courtroom, where his advo- 
cates and the state's can address the 
fundamental question of who killed 
Martin Luther King? 

Nothing less, surely, would have satis- 
fied King himself. It was for justice he 
had lived and died. The wooden casket, 
shiny in the thin April sunlight, the plain 
wagon and the brace of plow mules slowly 
bearing his body to his grave should have 
imbued us with that simple imperative 
Apparently, we lost that message in the 
haze of time's slow burning. Or maybe 
it was only that we could no longer feel, 
so many were the blows. Martin Luther 
Kings accused assassin had not even 
been caught before another American 
leader was murdered. This time, he was 
white. Again, he was a Kennedy. 


ment in the murder, there 


This is the sixth in a series of articles 
on political assassination in America. 


Forcolorreproduction of complete Wild Turkey painting by Ken Davies,19 by 21/send SI to Box $29-PB-6\Wall St Sta. NY10005. 


Wild Turkey Lore: 


In 1716 Benjamin Franklin 
proposed that the Wild f 
Turkey be adopted as the 
symbol of our country. 

The eagle was chosen 
instead. 

The Wild Turkey 
later went on to 
become the symbol of 
our country’s finest 
Bourbon. 


WILD TURKEY/ 101 PROOF/8 YEARS OLD. 


(© 1976 Austin, Nichols Distilling Co. Lawrenceburg. Kentucky, 


227 


PHOTOGRAPHERS 


Also 120 and 220 Users 
You'll like our professional lab. Get fast, 
dependable service on quality color film 
processing, printing and enlargements. 
Send coupon for information on: 
(ies) FRAMED 
ENLARGEMENTS TO 20x24 

HAND ENLARGED 
CUSTOM PRINTS 


PLAYBOY 


COLOR CORRECTED BORDERLESS 
REPRINTS 


Lip DIRECT FROM SLIDES 
QE TYPE “R” PRINTS 
PROFESSIONAL COLOR NEGATIVE 
FILM PROCESSING/PRINTING 
E E] PROFESSIONAL 135mm 
SLIDE FILM PROCESSING 
Many other products and services. 


acess 


en state 


INTERSTATE 


COLOR LAB, INC. 
P.0. BOX 1600-H, SOUTH BEND, IN 46634 


2. 


THE MOST UNIQUE 


NEW CONDOM 


IN THE WORLD 


Scentuals” 


by Protex® 
exclusively from Federal 


SCENTUALS are the first condoms in the 
world to stimulete ALL the love senses 
SCENTUALS heighten the natural eure of 
lovemaking with the mystery of nature's most 
arcusing and pleasing scents...in pro- 
colored condoms that are as nat- 
a "second skin". You end your 
Berner will experience a new. lovemaking 
"high" with SCENTUALS. The delicate 
scents include MIDNIGHT MUSK, STRAW- 
BERRY SECRET, BOLD BANANA, end LUSTY 
LINE. 
Federal. the leaderin vanety of brand name congoms 
at money sauna prices lor over 30 years 
Federat Pharrracat 1976 
ORDER YOUR SAMPLER TODAY 
Federal Pharmacal, Inc. Dept. P676 
6652 N. Western Ave., Chicago, IL 60645 
Please send me: 
$4 Protex Sampler (6 Scentusis ard 
Sother erotic Protex condoms) 
— $10 Treasure Box (50 condoms— 
27 brands inci Scentuais) 
— 50e Catalogs Only (incuded Free 
wth order 
Encosed is 
NAME 
ADDRESS: 
em: 


STATE ZIP. — 
Ail orders shipped im plain wrapper 
Sauistaction guaranteed or money refunded. 
228 Le — 


— — Check Cash 410 


Éa =n ee — a n n 


VODKA! 


(continued from page 109) 

At füst, bemused whiskey moguls dis- 
missed vod! passing fad. How could 
anything withont distinctive character, 
aroma, taste and color be taken seriously? 
Ironically, it was the total absence of 
personality that was, and is, the secret of 
vodka's unprecedented succes. It’s the 
ultimate mixer, possessing a chameleon- 
like ability to lose itself in any blend— 
that a screwdriver tastes orange, a 
bloody mary is tomato and a bull shot, a 
muscular consommé. Very easy to like. 

For many years, this unique property 
was attributed to filtering through. 
“mountains of activated charcoal,” what- 
ever that might be. Brands vied with 
one another as 10 die quantity and type 
of charcoal in their process. Then one 
fine day, the Feds removed the charcoal 
requirement and most distillers quictly 
abandoned its use. 

In view of the sharp turnaround, it's 
fair to ask whether today's vodka is the 
same as it used to be. And the answer is 
no—it's better! With 25 years of pra 
experience, producers have refined thei 


so 


procedures and developed technical 
equipment that yields an amazingly 
clean, uniform product through distilla- 


t 
Ejs 


m alone. It's just about the purest 
t you can buy. 

Not that theres anything like una- 
nimity on methods. Smirnoff, by far the 
leading vodka, is the only major label 
that still charcoals. It's hard to quarrel 
with that kind of success—nevertheless, 
other brands do. Gordon's, number two 
and trying, claims a patent on smooth- 
chieved with nitrogen gas. Gi 
bey's insists it's the driest, Wolfschmidt 
is put through a sophisticated, six-column 
still to remove unwanted congeners, 
including acetates, aldehydes, fusel oi 
and acids. Schenley employs a vacuum 
column that turns out an extremely high. 
proof and a very clean distillate. And so 
it goes. Although arguments wax heavy, 
and at times hot, they are largely aca- 
demic. Whatever differences exist among 
national brands, they are barely detect- 
able by chemical analysis and well nigh 
impossible to perceive in a mixed drink. 
To give you an idea of just how refined 
vodka must be, spirits that do not pass 
muster as vodka may be used in blended 
keys, cordials and, conceivably, gin. 

There is agreement among American 
vodka makers on one point—imports. If 
you want to see the laws of gravity ab- 
rogated, tell a distiller that foreign 
vodkas are superior. He'll go up one 
wall and down another. Imported goods 
are not subject to the rigid scrutiny that 
American distillates are. If they're cer- 
tified by the county of origin, they ai 
accepted in the U.S. as vodka—and no 
questions asked. It is not uncommon 


Europe to add a touch of sugar, a tot of 
cognaclees extract or, some say, a trace 
of glycerin to "smooth out" the raw 
spirit. And since the European techniques 
aren't as precise as the domestic. the end. 
product. is apt to be not as neutral com- 
ing off the still. So if some codger tells 
you vodka in the old country tasted dif- 
ferent, believe him. 

European countries offer a wide va- 
riety of flavored vodkas. The Soviets 
market upwards of 25 different types, in 
addition to clear Stolichnaya. The most 
interesting example available Stateside 
is the peppery Pertsovka, which makes 
a tingly bloody mary—and hold the 
"Tabasco, Charley. Poland's Polmos Zu- 
browka, companion to the clear Wy 
borowa, is an enchanting vodka, wi 
the scent of new-mown hay 
of almonds its bouquet. The favor 
and greenish tint come from steeping 
with Polish buffalo grass. ch bottle 
carries a length of grass, but that single 
blade is not the source of the aroma. 

There are American flavored vodkas, 
too—all on the sweet side. Tvarscki is 
among the most versatile in this group, 
with ten offerings: lemon, lime, apple, 
cherry, et al. Its clear vodka is well 
regarded, too. 

If the notion of flavored vodkas turns 
you on, it's no problem to make your 
own. Theyre a nice addition to your 
bar and make distinctive gifts. Recipes 
ior doityourself vodka steeps and a 
roundup of ingratiating drinks follow. 


h 
nd a hint 


SLOE COMFORTABLE SCREW 


oz. vodka 
4 or. sloe gin 
4 oz. Southern Comfort. 
2 ozs. orange juice 
Pour over ice in Soz. glass. Stir. Gar- 
nish with lemon slice, if desired. 


1 
D 
y 


ROMAN TONIC 


Wedge lime 
11% ozs. vodka 
34 oz, Campari 
Tonic water, chilled 
Squeeze juice of lime into tall glass 

with drop in rind. Add vodka, 

Campari and 5 ozs. tonic water (14 bottle) 

or to taste. Stir. 


ic 


ALL RIGHT JACK 


1 oz. 

1 oz. 

Slice 

Slice 

Pour Yukon Jack and vodka over ice 
in old fashioned glass. Stir well. Add 
fruit slices and serve. 


Yukon Jack 
vodka 
lemon 

ime 


VODKA A LA RUSSE 


Stolichnaya Russian Vodka, ice cold 
Pour about an ounce at a time into 
liqueur glasses or thimblessize s 


Candid Candy! 


ith some ay 
` it takes forever 
wan He Pr before you know where 
; f their heads are at. Not so 
with ex-stripper and porno 
queen Candy Barr. Candy, 
now the world’s sexiest 
| grandmother, is totally 
upfront and still looking good, as you'll see in an exclusive 
pictorial profile in June our. Ex-psych 
prof Timothy Leary 
explains the various 
techniques of 
à Brainwashing— 
BE Pattys defense and, 
apparently some- 
thing we all have 
been subjected to. 
id Ol Tim doesn't make f 
The Case In College. Thatcase * | 
is being made by the unemployed grads 
themselves. It seems that revered sheepskin is 
no longer a job guarantee. And speaking 
of jobs, Boston's Male Prostitute 
must have one of the best, and it's all per- 
fectly legal. To join Fearless 
Fred as he trucks around 
town spreading joy, all 
you have to do is say 
ul. Your local news 
zl hawk has the June 
5 issue right now. w 


PLAYBOY 


230 fragrant after three or four days 


“You are now approaching the Merry Mermaids 
Massage Parlor.” 


and toss off neat—in the Russian man- 
ner. Authentic accompaniments are cav- 
iar, herring and smoked fish. 


IRISH MULE 


1 oz. vodka 
Guinness Stout, chilled 
Pour vodka and Guinness into chilled 
The 614-072. Guinness nip is about 
the right size. 


LARA'S LOVE 


1 oz. vodka 

1 oz. Lillet 

1 oz. framboise 

Club soda, chilled 

Orange slice 

Sur first three. ingredients. with 
Strain into wineglass. Add light splash o£ 
club soda and garnish with orange slice. 


ice. 


once. 


ORANGE STEE 


D VODKA 


Remove peel from medium-size navel 
orange, taking orange part only. If you 
keep the peel in one piece, it's more at- 
tractive but doesn't affect the flavor. Add 
peel to bottle—you may have to pour off 
to make room. It should 
and be quite 
steeping. 


a little vodk: 
show color in a day 


Use in screwdrivers. gimlets, sours, with 
citrus-flavored soe 


SAUCY MARY 


2 ozs. vodka 
4 om. clam-tomato cocktail, 
chilled 
1 teaspoon prepared horseradish 
Pinch thyme 
Few grains each garlic powder and salt 
Shake all ingredients briskly with ice. 
Strain into 8.02, goblet. Gari 
Jemon slice. 


juice 


DON'S EARLY LIGHT 


2 ozs. vodka 


1 tablespoon banana cordial 

1 ozs. orange juice, chilled 

Pour all ingredients over ice in 
glass. Stir well to chill. Garr 
fresh fruit, if desired. 


LIMELIGHT 
(Serves two) 


3 ozs. vodka 
l oz. ap 
1 tablespoon Rose's Lime Juice 
ablespoon fresh lime juice 

all ingredients with ice. Str 
into two cocktail glasses- 


ot cordi: 


DAWSON SPECIAL. 


1 oz. vodka 

1 oz. crème de cacao 

2 ozs. milk 

Instantcolfce granules 

Pour first three ingredients over ice in 
highball glass. Stir. Sprinkle lightly with 
instant coffee and serve. 


SCHNAPPS WHIZZER 


1 oz. vodka 
1 oz. peppermint schnapps 
Pour over ice in small old fashioned. 
glass. Stir well. Garnish with mint sprigs 
or lemon slice. 


BOG BUSTER 


2 ozs. vodi 
14 oz. curacao 

4 ozs. cranberry-juice cocktail, chilled 
Pour over ice in tall glass. Stir well. 
sh with slice of 


C: 


BLACK SNOW 


2 ozs. Wyborowa Polish Vodka, out 
of the freezer 

Pour into small, tulipshaped stemmed 
glass (a sherry copita is perfect). Grind 
fresh black pepper over—about one turn. 
of the pepper mill. The pepper flakes 

I float lazily down in the glass—sup- 
ported by the slightly thickened icy 
vodka, 


THE GODSON 


1 oz. vodka 
oz. Amaretto cordial 

1 tablespoon lemon juice 

Shake all ingredients with ice. Pour 
unstrained into old fashioned glass. Gar- 
nish with canned apricot half. 


PEPPER VODKA 


Steep 2 teaspoons cracked black pep- 
percorns in a bottle of vodka lor about 
a week. The more pungent the pepper, 
the zestier the vodka. Use in bloody 
marys, bull shots and bloody bulls. 


LEMON-SMOOTH VODKA 


ge lemon 
it vodka 

5 or 6 drops glyca 

Pinch salt 

Remove peel from lemon, taking yel- 
low part only. Add to boule of vodka— 
you may have to po le off ro make 
room. Add glycerin and salt. Let stand 
three or four days, until vodka has taken 
on lemon flavor. Present in ice jacket and 
serve neat or pour over ice in small old 
fashioned glass. 

Breathes there a man, with soul so 
dead, who never to himself hath said, 
"I can whomp up a beter drink than 
this with my hands tied”? Well, you 
probably can—better, certainly, to your 
taste. And that’s the beauty of vod 
anyone can. So start whomping! 


DONT GIVE UP SENSITIVITY 
BECAUSE YOU WEAR 
ACONDOM. 


Youneedacondom thats ultrathin, ultra light. 
yet doesnt sacrifice reliability and security. 
That's Fetherlite" Its strength and quality are 
ensured by our system of highly sophisticated 
electronic testing. 

Whats more, coral colored Felherlie 
‘combines thinness witha unique natural lubri- 
cant, Sensitol” 

Get Fetherlite at your drug store. For a 
free sample pack of Fetherlite and 2 booklet 
send 25¢ for handling to Schmid Labs, Inc 
Box FL-1, Ri. 46 West. Little Falls, N.J. 07424 


iussi PLAYBOY 


xm mean first issue (Vol. 1, No. 1) 
topresentissues. Send$1.00 

elenden are san] | for price list. Your $1.00 is 
ayi refunded on your first order. 


Penthouses, eit. In ex. 
int condo. Clints Book Store 


cellent condition. Seni 
tist of what you have., (under new management) 


„ Kansas City, Missouri 64111. 


Raise the stakes with Rabbit-head 
poker chips, AK5000. Only $2.50* per 
box of 100 mixed red, white and black 
chips, plus 50€ shipping and handling. 
Send check to: 

Playboy Products, Dept. PP99 

$19 N. Michigan Ave. 

Chicago, Illinois 60611 

No C.O.D. orders. Playboy Club credit 
keyholders may charge (please include 
Key number). ill. residents—add 5% tax. 


CORVETTE — 
PORSCHE 914 
FIAT n 


MAKE YOURS MORE 
UNIQUE WITH 
SARATOGA TOPS. 
Nothing can make your car more unique than our top. 
‘The transparent top that leis the Sunshine in, keeps 
the bad weather out. Made of rugged, high performance 
tinted plastic. Requires no work - top simply snaps in. 
Adds extra headroom. For the "68 - "76 Corvette and 
Porsche 914, the 74 - 76 Fiat X1/9. Backed by a full 
10 day money back guarantee. 


Saratoga Tops 

Dept. PL 

556 Cortland Street 
Albany, New York 12208. 
(518) 489-7398 


© $1 enclosed for Corvette full color brochure 
1 E33 enclosed tor Porsche 314 full cotor brochure 
D $1 enclosed for Fiat X1/9 full color brochure 


55 BE DAMNED! 


(continued from page 121) 
VASCAR is the neatest, cleanest method 
of the three, It can be used in motion or 
at rest and can time cars running in the 
same direction or approaching the patrol 
car. But police officers complain about its 
accuracy, its reliability and the fact that 
it is more cumbeisome to use than radar. 
Therefore, radar becomes a greater factor 
in speed control with cach passing day. 
The old window-mounted units that had 
a range of about 1500 fect and could 
be operated only when stationary have 
been replaced by the incredible Kustom 
Signals, Inc, MR-7, which has a range of 
about a mile and can be operated at rest 
or in motion, or even hand held away 
from an automobile! This is decidedly the 
unit of the future and the one speeding 
scofllaws must treat with the greatest 
caution (although there are counter- 
ures—read on). Radar can be, and is, 
used in all situations: from bridges, b 
hind hills and. around. curves, aimed 
traffic approaching from either direction, 
or from a low-Ilying airplane (known as a 
Bear in the air ora spy in the sky in C.B- 
radio p; ce). Yes, th 
machines,” as the truckers call radar, are 
the heart and soul of speedlaw enforc 
ment, especially on open stretches of in- 
terstates (radar does not work particularly 
l on heavily congested highways, b 
cause it cannot easily discern one car 
from another) and, thanks to their cost, 
mobility and ol operation, it 
appears they as such for years 
to come. 


Smokeys, Smokeys, in the trees, 
They've got radar, 
But we've got C.B.s. 


Embodied within that cornball couplet 
is the secret to fast driving in the U. S. 
Citizen’sband radios came into really 
widespread use following the great trud 
ers’ strikes of 1973, when the Gover 
ment first tried to make the big rigs 
operate at 55 mph. Because diese brutes 
cat more fuel and consume more time 
(which is money to a driver) at 53, the 
truckers created an carly-warning system 
via citizen's band radios (channel 19 across 
the county and channel 21 in some paris 
of the West). With it came a beautiful new 
slang revolving around the world of 18- 
wheelers (trucks), four-wheelers (cars), eic. 
that operates from coast to coast. A CB. 
radio is indispensable. It’s that simple. 
Using it as an alarm system is great, but 
it has an added benefit of getting you in- 
volved in the highway milicu—of remov- 
ing you and your associates on the road 
from those hundreds of little steel cip- 
sules and creating a kind of loose cama- 
raderie that fights boredom and fatigue 
better than all the stereo systems known | 
to man, Since I've put my C.B. on board, 
I've given up on my tape deck. The next 


pro ee eee 


Nationally Advertised Brands! 
CONDOMS BY MAIL 


Sent First Class In Unmarked Wreppers. 


End using sensation deadening condoms, Get gossamer 
thin sensitive condoms designed for sexual pleasure 


C130 Executive FREE se 


Pack* $10 ws SYSTEM AM 
gions [bmx 


100 for $20 Shippedin 24 heurs C * EXE- 


CUTIVE PACK — THIRTY ol the 


lop ten most SENSUOUS. GOS 
B SAMER THIN, condoms $10 
(Fourex. Natural Lamb, Sheik Sens: 
Creme. Guardian Lubricated, 
ia Nulorm Ramses, Featherhte. Fiesta, 
“STIMULA”, Lubncated Trojans) O 
TZ condoms {4 diferent brands) only $3. C) Deluxe 
package (6 different kinds) 24 condoms $6. O Super 
Deluxe package 100 condoms (8 different kinds} $20. 
For of mai add $1 postage 
W.P.C.. Dept. F142 
P.0. Box 90, Newark, New Jersey 07102 
Sold on Money Back Guarantee 


—————————————— —— ——- 


FOR A GREAT DEAL! 
SEE PAGE 17. 


SATIN SHEETS 


Manufacturer's Low Mill Price 


MACHINE WASHABLE. 225 thread 
count with 150 denier acetate thread. 


11 colors: Black, Red, Sunflower, Royal 
Blue, Purple, White, Avocado Green, 
Orange, Bronze, Gold, Silver. Each en- 


ing pillowcases 
2 matching pillowcases 


Twin Set2$19.50 Queen Set - $25.00 

Full Set -$23.00 King Set -$29.00 

3 LETTER MONOGRAM ON 2 CASES — $2.50 
WE PAY POSTAGE. 

Send Check O Money Order C] Use Credit 

Card, IMMEDIATE DELIVERY on Credit Card 

and Money Orders. 

Direct to Factory Phone: 212-564-1167 
Size Color 
A American Express 
C] BankAmericard. © Diners club 
Card No. — — — Exp. Date — 
Signature — — = 
ten 
Address — 

City — 


Set A or B 
[C Mastercharge 


— State 
DIRECT RETAIL SALES 


Rayal Creations, XQ. 


Dept. PG — 330 Fifth Ave., New Verk. N.Y. 10001 


PLAYBOY 


time some turkey rips it off, I won't 
bother to replace it. 

A couple of words of warning: Pass the 
truckers with care. Run by some of them 
too quickly and they'll begin to yell over 
the radio about your speed. More and 
more cops (called Smokeys, Smokey Bears 
or Bears) are carrying C.B.s in their cars, 
and before you know it, you may have 
one on your tail. Also beware of a friendly 
voice saying something like “It’s clear to 
mile marker 28, come on, come on!” That 
could be a Smokey (sometimes known as a 


Sugar Bea) trying to lure the unwary into 
his radar beam (which is, of course, 
napment, bur, then, life ain't easy out 


there on the interstates, good buddy). 

Hit the brakes when you hear the 
beep: OK, so you've got your C.B. (or 
two-way, as it is called) tuned up to 
full volume for incoming Smokey reports, 
but you still need more warning, which 
con n the form of a small black con- 
tainer about the size of a Coney Island 
hot dog mounted on your dashboard or 
windshield. When it was introduced, the 
Snooper, made by Autotronics, Inc, of 
Richardson, Texas, was the best radar 
detector on the market. This unit, which 
sells tor $79.95 (higher in some states), has 
an effective range of about 5000 feet and. 
will sound an ear-pier 
it senses a radar signal. In reaction to the 
new R/ radar, Autotronics now has the 
Super Snooper, which offers a substantial 
increase in range and receives both the 
X-band and the new K-band frequencies 
used by the latest models of police radar. 
These devices, like C.B.s, have no substi- 
tutes. (Forget that nonsense about putting 
num foil in your hubcaps to jam the 
"s useless, although there's a Te 


gged up with a working po- 
lice radar jammer fabricated from the guts 
of a Sears microwave oven. The guys at 
Autotronies say a jammer is definitely 
within the range of their technology but 
are wary of its legality. However, if you 
were to have onc built by your buddy, the 
elecuonics freak. . . ) Not all radar de- 
tectors are useful. The small battery- 
operated units that clip to the sun visor 
lack the range and sensitivity of more ex- 
pensive versions and can sometimes create 
a false sense of security. One motorist 
roared through a New York State Police 
radar trap without his detector’s n 
peep. Irritated after receiving his ticket, 
he turned around and passed through the 
time at a legal speed. 
Again the detector failed, which prompt- 
ed him to stop his car, get out and stomp 
the device into small pieces. 

Treat driving as an art: Being an ef- 
fective fast driver demands pride both in 
your personal skills and in your auto- 
mobile. If you don’t care about cars and 
the science of controlling them, you are 
stupid to attempt to drive them quickly. 


trap again, U 


232 Because similar but less intense vehicle 


nd driver dynamics relate fast road dr 
ing with motor racing, I recommend a pair 
of books: The Racing Driver: The The- 
ory and Practice of Fast Driving, by De 
Jenkinson, and The Technique of Motor 
Racing, by Piero Taruffi (both available 
from Robert Bentley, Inc, 872 Massachu- 
setts Avenue, Cambridge, Massachusetts 
02139). When you understand what these 
experts are talking about and your aui 
mobile is in perfect mechanical condition, 
you can run quickly with minimal risk. 
Moreover, make sure you are well 
fiued to your environment; namely, that 
you are comfortable while at the controls. 
For example: Your seat should be far 
enough away from the steering wheel so 
that your wrist will touch the top of the 
rim when you 
driving should be done w 
located slightly below the tr 
totwo position. The grip should be 
light, the elbows relaxed. Loose clot 
is a must, both to enhance mobility and 
to reduce fatigue. Turtlenecks or tight 
collars are practically guaranteed to pro- 


duce sore necks and stiff back muscles. 


Top-quality sun are able. 
Many last drivers insist on small-diameter, 
leather- or rubber-rimmed steering wheels, 
which increase control and absorb per 
spiration, thereby making them easier to 
grip. A variety of custom steering wheels 
as well as quartzhalogen driving lights 
(highly recommended) are available from 
a multitude of automotive-specialty shops. 
If you are not happy with the comfort 
and stability provided by the scat in 
your car, high-quality, race and rally type 
scats—some fully adjustable—can also be 
purchased for from $100 to $300. 

Think! Anyone who thinks of last road 
driving as the simple act of cramming 
the throttle to the wood and ha g on 
belongs in jail—which is exactly where 
he is going to end up. The automobile 
must be driven cautiously at high speeds, 
because closing rates on dangerous situ- 
ations and law ollicers are greater. I his 
means that hill crests, blind bends, etc., 
must be approached with speed reduced 
and the driver prepared to hit the brakes, 
ready for anything. Concentration is the 
key and if you are dull and inattentive 
enough to drive blindly into a r trap, 
you deserve everything you get. 

When you get nailed: All the C.B.s and 
the Snoopers in the world won't prevent 
the inevitable. If you drive a lot, sooner 
or later you are going to get stopped for 
speeding. When (not if) that happens, 
follow these few rules to ease the pain: 
1. Immediately pull over, with your 
four-way flashers turned on. Never, never 
be a dumb-ass and try to outrun a 
Smokey. Not only is it unforgivably dan- 
gerous but the odds of success are mini. 
mal. 2. Get out of your car and walk to 
the patrol car with your license and regis- 
tation in hand. This is effective for two 
reasons, one practical, one psychological: 


Highway-patrol officers generally work 
alone, and that is a dangerous business. 
They are extremely vulnerable when ap- 
proaching a stopped vehicle, which they 
do with reluctance. What's more, if you 
are conversant with Robert Ardrey's Ter- 
ritorial Imperative, you will know that 
the officer’s largess will be increased ten- 
fold when you submissively go to 
on his turf. 3. Don't make an ass out 
of yourself by arguing or flashing that 
police courtesy card your uncle, the alder- 
man, gave you. Highway patrolmen are, 
for the most part, highly trained, intelli- 
gent men who have heard every whacko 
story, excuse and tale of influence con- 
ceivable, They are professionals who are 
doing a difficult job (and many of them 
despise the 55-mph limit as much as any- 
ail you, they probably 
only 


or protesting. Virtually every rationale for 
speeding has been tried, including the one 
used by the Cannonball crew who, after 
being nailed at 115 mph, tried to convince 
the officer that they were desperately low 
on gas and were building up sufficient 
speed to coast to the next service station. 
If you think you have been unjustly ar- 
rested, get a lawyer and go to court, but 
don't mess around with the Smokey. And. 
don't, for God's sake, ever, ever try to lay 
a bribe on him. 

One final thou 
fast driving, I mean good driving. I don't 
mean some slob wheeling along in his 
Caddy at 70 mph with the sterco turned. 
up and his arm draped over the seat back. 
To drive quickly means total involvement 
and success or failure is measurable by 
one simple test: It must be accomplished 
without the slightest inconvenience to 
anyone else. If you drive fast and cause 
another motorist to deviate from his own 
course and speed, even in the most mi- 
nute fashion, you have failed. Force an- 
other driver to touch his brakes, turn his 
steering wheel or prompt even the most 
hypertense incompetent on the road to 
honk his horn in alarm or tation. 
you have bad r as a fast driv 
only must you not place anybody's per- 
sonal safety in jeopardy but you must 
set such high standards for your driving 
that no one notices that you are on 
the road. This demands incredible smooth- 
ness in your driving, which can only 
come through complete attention to the 
problem. 

So turn off the stereo, crank up the 
C.B., get both hands on the wheel and 
t drving—as opposed to slumping 
behind the wheel and Jetting the car do 
the job. You'll be amazed at how reward- 
ing the whole thing can be. 

Another thing: Play it sale—take some 
cash along. 

[Y | 


about 


“Ah, here you are, my dear. I hope you 
aren't still angry about last night.” 


233 


PLAYBOY 


234 


PLAYBOY 
READER SERVICE 


Write to Playboy Reader Service for 
answers to your shopping questions. 
We will provide you with the name 
of a retail store in or near your city 
where you can buy any of the spe- 
cialized items advertised or edito- 
rially featured in PLAYBOY. For 
example, where-to-buy information is 
available for the merchandise of the 
advertisers in this issue listed below. 
Please specify page number and issue 
of the magazine as well as a brief de- 
scription of the items when you write. 

Akai, Electronics 

American Tourister, Luggage 


9160 Body Billfold 
BAC. Turntables „ 


Dur t 5 
Heublein Insert < -Between 4041, 194-195 


AWG Electonics 
Jockey Brand Underwear -.. 
Kenwood Electronics 

Konica Cameras 
Lee Sportswear 


Levi Strauss Menswear |.. 
Watches 


Record A Call 
Reis Menswear 
Sony Electronics 


Triumph Autos 
Volkswagen Autos .. 


Use these Jines for information about the 
above and other featured merchandise 


6-76 


PLAYBOY READER SERVICE 


Playboy Building, 9 ichigan Ave. 
1611 


D 3yrs. for $24 (Save 324.00) 
O 1 yr. for $10 (Save $6.00) 
[ Payment enclosed OI bill later 


(please print) 


address 


city state zip code no. 


Mail to PLAYBOY 


Playboy Building, 919 N. Michigan Ave. 
Chicago, Ilinois 60611 
704 


NEXT MONTH: 


EROTIC STARS 


“a 
BOAT STABLE HOT oe 


SARAH MILES AND KRIS KRISTOFFERSON STEAM UP THE 
CAMERA LENSES IN SCENES FROM THEIR NEW MOVIE, THE 
SAILOR WHO FELL FROM GRACE WITH THE SEA—AND THEN DO 
SOME "'IMPROVISING"—IN THE SEXIEST STAR PICTORIAL EVER 


“BUCHWALD'S BICENTENNIAL ALBUM"—TILL NOW, WE 
NEVER KNEW WHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS WERE REALLY UP 
TO. WE'VE BEEN SET STRAIGHT—BY ART BUCHWALD 


“EXCUSE ME, DO YOU KNOW WHO LILY TOMLIN IS?"—ON 
TOUR WITH A COMIC GENIUS WHO TURNS INTO HER CHARAC- 
TERS WITH BEWILDERING FREQUENCY—BY LOUISE BERNIKOW 


“BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY"—AN EX-MARINE SER- 
GEANT TELLS HOW HE WAS BLOWN AWAY IN THE SEARING 
HORROR THAT WAS VIETNAM—BY RON KOVIC 


“THE PLAYBOY BOAT STABLE''—FOR ONLY HALF A MILLION 
YOU CAN HAVE SIX (COUNT ‘EM, SIX) SEAWORTHY CRAFT WITH 
WHICH TO STOCK YOUR PRIVATE MARINA—BY BROCK YATES 


“A FEAST OF SNAKES"—RATTLERS, BATON TWIRLERS AND A 
HATE-LOVE RELATIONSHIP RUBBED RAW ARE THE INGREDIENTS 
IN A TOUGH, EROTIC STORY BY HARRY CREWS 


KARL HESS, BARRY GOLDWATER'S ERSTWHILE GHOSTWRITER- 
GURU TURNED REDNECK ANARCHIST, TALKS ABOUT HOW THE 
COUNTRY WENT WRONG IN A PLAYBOY INTERVIEW THAT 
TOASTS AMERICA'S 200TH BIRTHDAY WITH A TWIST 


“UNPLAIN JAYNE"—HER MOTHER WAS A MOVIE SEX SYMBOL 
AND OUR FEBRUARY 1955 PLAYMATE. WE NOW PRESENT THE 
EQUALLY SPECTACULAR JAYNE MARIE MANSFIELD 


“SO YOU WANT TO BE A SEX OBJECT?'"'—ARE WOMEN WHIS- 
TLING AT YOU? PINCHING YOUR ASS? WHERE WILL IT ALL 
END? IN CHAOS, GUESSES A NERVOUS G. BARRY GOLSON 


"THE FIRE THIS TIME"—MUSICIAN GIL SCOTT-HERON HAS 
BEEN CALLED THE BLACK BOB DYLAN: HE DOESN'T APPRECIATE 
THE COMPARISON. A REVEALING PROFILE-BY VERNON GIBBS 


“HOT DOG!"—WHAT BETTER TIME TO GIVE THREE CHEERS 
FOR THE ALL-AMERICAN SNACK?—BY EMANUEL GREENBERG 


“If you Space Ski Mount Asgard... 


before you hit the ground, 
hit the silk!” 


* 


"Those treacherous winds 
and the death-defying drop 
down the mountain's sheer 
granite face were enough 
to; make me as nervous as 
a flea ona hot skillet. 


6 YEARS OLO. IMPORTED IN 


"P-o-o-o-cf! My chute billowed 
out. And none too soon. 
Because I still had some tricky 
maneuvering to do. These 
deadly downdrafts almost 
collapsed my chute. But 
alittle body English luckily 
prevented it...and it was 
happy landings. 


“Later, we celebrated with 
Canadian Club at the Peyton 
Lodge in Pangnirtung." 


"Shari made doubly sure my 
chute was secure. And triple- 
checked my skis.Then schuss! 
From my launching pad on the 
frozen mesa, I was on the way 
io my space walk. 4000 feet 
over the Turner Glacier in the 
Canadian Arctic. 


HIRAM WALKER SONS LIMTED 
\WALKERVILLE CANADA 


Canadan Cll 


"The Best In The House"? in 87 lands 


Why is C.C. so universally 
popular? No other whisky 
tastes quite like it. Lighter 
than Scotch, smoother than 
vodka...it has a consistent 
mellowness that never 
stops pleasing. For 118 
years, this Canadian has 
been in aclass by itself. 


(©1976. eO TOBACCO CO. 


He is at home in aworld 
few men ever see. 

A world where wisdom 
earns more respect than 
physical strength. 

He smokes for pleasure. 
He gets it from the blend 
of Turkish and Domestic 
tobaccos in Camel Filters. 

Do you? 


Turkish and j 


Domestic Blend 


18 mg. wer. 1.3 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FIC Report SEPT. 75. 


Warning. The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health