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ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN FEBRUARY 1977 + $1.50 


PLAYBOY 


ak d 


GREAT; 
| MOMENTS) | 
7. IN SEX- 76 


The anda GIN 


Nc 2) For colder, super-crisp martinis, 
E pre-chill the gini in RUE refrigerator or a handy 
container of ice. 

But make sure you use the perfect martini gin, 
T E Seagrams Extra Dry. 


Seagram Distillers Co., N. Y.C. 86/80 Proof. Distilled Dry Gin. Distilled from American Grain. 


te : d 25 ОТЫЛ RI 


The 1977 Subaru you see costs just $2,974? And that price 
includes features like front wheel drive, steel belted 
radial tires, power assisted front disc brakes and a lot more. 

But what Subaru saves you in 
the showroom is just the beginning. 

On the road, our manual trans- 
mission sedans give you 41 highway 
and 28 city miles to a gallon of 
regular: 

One of the reasons we're so 
good with gasis our SEEC-T engine. 
Unlike most engines today, ours 
doesn't need a catalytic converter 
to meet clean air standards. 

What's more, the fact that 
there's no catalytic converter means 
there's no catalytic converter 
to replace. 

And beyond that, Subaru is 
built tough. To last. 

You see, Subaru saves you money in the showroom. 
And keeps on saving you money. Even when it's on the road 
to becoming an old Subaru. 

Дил POE — not incl dealer мер. delivery and taxes. “These figu 


way vou drive, driving condition ondition of your car and whateve 
stripes, as shown in photo, are e t options, In California see your | 


пау vary because of the 


ings, lower body rally 
figures 


There's a smooth way E 
to get away from harsh taste. = : 


Only KGDL has the 
smooth taste of extra:coolness: 


~~ Comeup to K@L. 


SUPER LONGS 


Kings, 17 mg. "tar," 1.3 mg. nicotine; Longs, 17 mg. “tar,” 1.2 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report Apr.'76 


сот л case of the postholiday blahs? No problem. We have 
what it takes to get the old juices flow Besides our 
regular offerings of quality fiction, articles, serv atures and 
the irrepressible Playboy Interview (this month with Keith Stroup, 
crusader for sane pot laws), we're premiering three—count 
"em, three- . First of all. have we got a girl for you? 
No, we have 16 of them, all candidates for centerfold status, 
and we're letting you have a sneak peck in Playboy's Playmate 
Preview. Next, were starting, on a monthly basis, Playboy's 
Sex Poll; results of this installment may come as a surprise to 
guys who think they can get a lady off with a lick and a promise. 
Finally, a feature everybody around the office is astonished we 
didn't think of before: The Year in Sex, a roundup of the 
action in the past welvemonth. The guy who finally did think 
of it was Art Director Arthur Paul (who, as a matter of fact, 
dreamed up the Playmate Preview, too). Senior Editor Gretchen 
McNeese coordinated the project; Associate Art Director Chet Suski 
put it all together visually; and Assistant Picture Editor Potty 
Beaudet and Research Editor Kate Nolan did the dirty work (i.e. 
spent months poring over feelthy pictures and news stories). 

Elsewhere in the magazine, some pretty powerful stull: Crazy 
Joe Must Diet, the conlessions of mobster Joe Luparelli, who 
set up the hit on Joey Gallo, as retold by New York Daily News 
reporter Paul S. Meskil (the whole story will appear in the 
forthcoming Playboy Press book The Luparellt Tapes); А 
Very Quiet Horror, the awful truth about Chilean concentration 
mps, revealed—just before his assassination—by. ex—foreign 
minister Orlando Letelier to his longtime friend Washington- 
based writer Ted Szok. The piece is illustrated. by Jacob Knight, 

On the lighter side: the misadventures of the son of Jerny 
and the Ball-Turret Gunner (pravwoy, June 1976) in Garp's 
Night Ош, by John Irving. It’s part of a novel in progress (his 
fourth), The World According to Garp. Charles Santore, the 
ашы who illustrated this segment, tells us he, like Garp. is a 
jogger. “But 1 prefer to do it on a track." Garp could have used 
some help from The Man Upstairs: the monastic football team 
described by James Powell in The Trolls of God got it. 

In the second installment of The Motel Tapes (again illus- 
trated by Robert Goldstrom), Mike MeGrody once more proves t 
some walls do have cars. For another helping of these slice-of-life 
conversations, see next month's PLaywoy—and the book due 
from Warner's in June, 

No doubt about it—motels have long been the princi 
ag for the consummation of America’s sexual fantasies. But 
irs not too easy to be the embodiment of а sexual Fantasy, 
O'Connell Driscoll reveals in his poignant profile The Post- 
celluloid Tristesse of Raquel Welch. Ever since Driscoll did the 
morable Jerry Lewis, Birthday Boy for us in January 1974 
ve been curious about his unusual name. So we asked 
him. He laughed. “My parents named me O'Connell in honor 
of Dublin's main sucet. 1 guess they figured if they gave me an 
odd enough. пате, Га have to do something unique to over- 
«ome it^ And he's busy doing it: writing a “vaguely forth- 
coming” novel about a disintegrating nuclear family. 

Morsholl Brickmon's The Book of Coasts, about the foi 
tering rivalry between is off the wall. So, when 
we phoned, was Marshall question of whether to 
remain in New York or move to L.A—eternal for those 
whose livelihoods must be carned in either of the wo media 
capitals—was solved, as most significant problems are, by 
consulting the Scriptures,” he pontificated. “The fact that this 
particular scripture had to be invented does not weaken the 
argument.” OK, if you say so. 

Remember the feverishly erotic dinner scene in the movie 
Tom Jones? Wait úll you se Love Feast, lovingly photo- 
griphed by Jef Dunas. How about that for a valentine gi 


ever fes- 


PLAY BILL 


“| А E 


BRICKMAN 


DUNAS 


FOWELL GOLDSTROM 


PLAYBOY. 


vol. 24, no. 2—february, 1977 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
3 
n 
21 
24 
BOOKS o зел one a paneer: E TUI <- 28 
Gloria Emerson on Vietnam; John Deon on John Dean. 
MUSIC; сг ЕЕ СЕ 30 


Thoughts on the Stevie Wonder package; а lock at the Porgy and Bess craze. 


TEERVISION ss cca oti E ene owe nbn n a ER оа GO ipe 33 
Roots due for marathon; Upstairs, Downstairs bows out gracefully. 


Sexy 76 zm Dun lcm б шры МЕМ лыы сце: 34 


You, tco, can learn about cross-country skiing—and deg-sled driving. 


SELECTED SHORTS 


THE DOOMSDAY ARMY .................. MICHAEL LEDEEN 36 
Our author stitches together all the evidence available and comes to the scary 
conclusion that there is, indeed, a well-financed army of terrorists. 

WHAT, MECRY? ....... ese ..BRIAN VACHON 37 
The trials and tribulations of a grown man learning how to cry. 


Night Out 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR .......... Ен Еа 39 


PLAYBOY SEX POLL . . . HOWARD SMITH end BRIAN VAN DER HORST 47 
А new monthly feature in which our roving pollsters survey changing sexual 
attitudes and practices. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM .................. CEDE DIE DI ase OI 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: KEITH STROUP— «candid conversation ........ 61 
сезм Peek The founder and national director of the National Organization for the Reform 


of Marijuana Laws (NORML) talks about drugs, drug-related legal hassles and 
his adventures, both political and personal, in trying to change America’s 
criminal codes. 


THE POSTCELLULOID TRISTESSE OF 
RAQUEL WELCH—personality ...........- . O'CONNELL DRISCOLL 72 
An offcamera look at the great sex symbol—a profile of a very human Raquel. 


THE TROLLS OF GOD—fiction .................... JAMES POWELL 76 
What happens when a monastery fields а football team. 


Welch Rorebit P. 72 


ir тыгу ans то Be RETURNED жао NO REseOUSIOILITY CAN BE ASSUNED FOR CITED MATERIALS. ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT TO PLAYBOY WILL DE TREATED AS UXCONDITION 
ALEXANDER / PEOPLE WEEKLY C TIME, INC., Р JOH AZUMA, Р. IVE (3). 17 (3); GRAEME BAKER/SIPA PRE 
MARIO CASILLI/ COURTESY CASABLANCA RECORDS, P. 136; DAVID CHAM, Р, 124, W32; RICK CLUTHE, P. 140; CONRAD т 
RAT. жа QUAMT EDWARDS, P. 3. RICHARD FECLEY. т эз, мат: BILL FRANTZ, P 3. 134, 139, MO [1); PAUL GREMMLER, P. 124: DUANE HALL / CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 


COVER STORY 
Everyone knows that the quickest way to a woman's heart is through the local 
jewelry store. To paraphrase a famous saying: Carats are a Rabbit's best friend. There 
are 1.16 of them in the diamond-studded platinum pendant designed by Oscar Heyman 
of New York. Pete Turner photographed the cover with model Lena Kansbod (designed 
by Mr. and Mrs. Kansbod of Sweden]. 


THE LOVE FEAST—pictorial ....................... ee d 
‘Aman and a maid indulge their appetites. 


CRAZY JOE MUST DIE!—article ................... PAUL 5. MESKIL 84 
An all-too-real version of The Gang That Cavldn't Shoot Straight, about how 
the hit on Joey Gallo was planned, bungled and finally executed. 


HAIR. TODAY огоот оваа CHARLES HIX 87 


Everything you always wanted ta know about the care and maintenance of hair. 
Getting Gollo 


STAR-STRUCK— playboy's playmate of the month ................. 92 
Miss Stowe's first name is Stor and it couldn't be mere appropriate. 

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor ........ Hele thee ККУ .. 104 

А VERY QUIET HORROR—artide .................... TAD SZULC 106 


Before he was assassinated, ex—Chilean foreign minister Orlando Letelier 
talked about the torture camps that now exist in his country. Here's ап 
exclusive account of the Gulags of the Western Hemisphere. 


Dining In 


ADVENTURES IN THE SKIN TRADE—sttire ............ DAVID PLATT 109 
A look at the latest and choicest in leather and suede. 


GARP'S NIGHT OUT—fiction ...................... JOHN IRVING 115 
The wry adventures of the son of Jenny and the Ball-Turret Gunner, in which 
а randy neighbor lady gives our hera a hard time in more ways than one. 


BLACK IS THE COLOR—modem living .......................... n6 
Everything fram cigarette lighters to stereo speakers -in basic you know what. 
THE MOTEL TAPES—part two of а new book ...... MIKE MCGRADY 118 — 
More carryings-on behind closed doors. 
PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE PREVIEW—pictorial ................ кз ОО 
A look at some of the candidates for centerfold status. 
THE BOOK OF COASTS—humor ............ MARSHALL BRICKMAN 129 
A Biblical recasting of the New Yark City-Los Angeles rivalry. 
ENGLISH MUSIC-HALL BALLADS—ribald classic ............ dee 
Stor Quality 
THE YEAR IN SEX—pictorial .............................. 2. 082 


Inaugurating a new feature in which the editors compile an illustrated report 
on the progress and pitfalls of the sexual revolution. 


KAPLAN'S PHALLUSIES—humor ..... eene OH ERVIN L KAPLAN 143 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI ........ Dro ac SUP COP 168 


Motel Moments P. 118 


GREG MACDONALD /COUATESY EASYRIDERS, P. 139: GARRICK MADISON. P. 196: KEN MARCUS, P. 125, JIM MCCRARY /COUATESY ESQUIRE, P- 138; JERRY P. SELMED / COURTESY BLOOMINGDALE’S, 
P. аза; MIRA, P. 136; ROSS F. MORRIS, Р. 137: JO ANN MILES. P. 3: J, BARRY O'ROURKE, P. "33, 120; ANN PARKUR, P. 3, MIKE PHILLIPS, P. 137 PHOTO TRENDS. Р. 134, POMPEO vOSAM 
F. паз, 124, 128 (2), зат; CHUCK PULIN, т. бза: GEORGE н. HABE, P- 139: SUZE RANDALL. P. 124 13), 129. MORGAN RENARO /SYGMA, P. 13E, KATHY RICHLAND. P. 130; STEVE SCHRPIRO / TRANS. 
WORLD, P. узв: DENNIS SCOTT, P. 121; SUZANNE SEED. P. 3; Ер SEEMAN, P. 137 (2). MARK SENNET 7 CAMERA 135; HOWARD D. SIMMONS / сшсасо зин. P. 139; VERNON а. умтн. 
P. 3 (2): TRANSWORLD. т, 138; UNITED FRESE INTERNATIONAL, P. 132, 133 (7), 120 (2) ALETAS шия, P. 11117: JULIAN WASSER / TIME MASAZINE © Ti ERIC WESTON, 
Р 6с WIDE WORLD тиотов, P. 133 (2), 130. 139; JERRY YULSWAN, P. 138; TOM ZUK, P. 126, 127, P. MO (Z), COURTESY ABC-TV. P. 192-136, 138, 140 UPPER ILLUSTRATIONS BY DAN соме 
F. 47, MLUSTRATICNS BY TODD SCHORR 


PLAYBOY, FEURUARY, 1977, VOL. 24, MO. 2, PUBLISIMD MONTHLY BY PLAYBOY, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYBOY BLDG., BIS М. MICHIGAN AVE., CHGO., ILL. 4061Y. SECOMD.CLASS 


5 


PLAYBOY 


There are more than’ 


California Brandy Fizz. 
Try thislight, frothy cooler 
at brunch: combine 2 oz. 
California Brandy, 1% oz. 
lime juice, 1 egg white, 

1 tsp. sugar, 2 oz. cream, 
and crushed ice in blender. 
Pour into chilled glass, 
add club soda to taste. 
Terrific! 


California Brandy 
Freeze. 


It's almost a dessert to 
drink: in a blender, com- 
bine 2 oz. California 
Brandy, 2 scoops coffee 
ice cream. Mix until. = 
smooth, top. with flakes 
o£ dark chocolate. 
Ummmmm! 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 
SHELDON WAX managing editor 
GARY COLE photography editor 


©. BARRY GOLSON executive editor 


EDITORIAL 


ARTICLES: LAURENCE GONZALES, PETER ROSS 
RANGE senior editors « FICTION: ROME MA- 
CAULEY editor, VICTORIA CHEN HAIDER, WAL- 
TER SUBLETTE assistant editors + SERVICE 
FEATURES: TOM OWEN modern living editor; 
DAVID PLATT fashion editor; THOMAS MARIO 
food & drink editor « CARTOONS: MICHELLE 
Оку edilor « COPY: ARLENE BOURAS editor, 
STAN AMBER assistant edilor • STAFF: WILIAM 
J. HELMER, GRETCHEN МС NEESE, ROBERT SHEA, 
DAVID STEVENS senior editors; DAVID STANDISH 
мај] wriler; JOMN BLUMENTHAL, JAMES R. 
PETERSEN associate editors; BARIARA NELLIS 
research supervisor; SUSAN HEILER, KATE 
NOLAN, KAREN PADDERUD, TOM PASAVANT re- 
search editors: J. ¥. O'CONNOR, ED WALKER 
assistant editors: DAVID BUTLER, MURRAY FISH 
Lk, ROBERT L. GREEN, NAT HENTOFF, ANSON 
MOUNT, WICHARD RHODES, JEAN SHEP 
ROBERT SHERRILL, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movi 
JOHN skow contributing editors 


ART 
TOM STAEBLER, RERIG POPE. senior directors, 
вов POST, ROY MOODY, LEN WILLIS, CHET SUSKI, 
NORM SCHAEFER associate directors; JOSEPH 
paczek assistant director; VICTOR инди, 
JOY HILDRETH, BETH KASIK art assistants; VICKI 
BRAY traffic coordination; BARBARA HOFFMAN 
administrative assistant 


PHOTOGRAPHY 


MARILYN GRABOWSKI wes? coast editor; тил. 
ARSENAULT, JANICE MOSES associale edlilors; 
HOLLIS WAYNE new york editor; wensen 
кке, RICHARD їл; POMPEO POSAR staff 
photographers; DON AZUMA, DAVID CHAN, 
Pamadi DIXON, DWIGHT HOOKER, R. SCOTT 
HOOPER, KEN MARCUS, ALENAS URDA соті. 
uting photographers; Wit. FRANTZ associate 
photographer; ттүү — BEAODET, MICHAEL 
mem assistant editors; JAMES waro color 
lab supervisor; wowenr силох administra- 
live editor 


PRODUCTION 


JOUN MASTRO director; ALLEN VARCO man- 
Ager; ELEANORE WAGNER, MARIA MANDIS, 
NANCY SIGEL, RICHARD QUARTAROLI assistants 


READER SERVI 


JANE SCHOEN manager 


CIRCULATION 


BEN GOLDBERG director of newsstand sales; 
ALMIN WIEMOLD subscription manager 


ADVERTISING 


nesny w. Marks adverüising director 


ADMIN: 
HICHARD м. кокк business: manager; PATRICIA 
PAPANGELIS administrative editor; ROSE. JEN- 
Sunes rights & permissions manager; минер 
TIMMERMAN administrative assistant 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, IN 
DERICK DANIELS president; RICHARD S. 
колеи executive vice-president, рир 
lishing group 


NOW 
A TUMMY TELEVISION 
THE WHOLE FAMILY CAN 
GETA BELLYFUL ОЕ 


My how we've grown! 
Time was when we made a Tummy Television 
barely big enough for one person to watch. 
Now we have a black-and-white portable that's all of 13" 
(screen measured diagonally). And since it's 10096 solid state, 
has a glare-free screen for indoor/outdoor viewing 
and an energy-saving system that shuts the power off completely 
when the set is not in use, we expect the biggest problem you'll ever have 
isagreeing on which program to watch. VON 


INTRODUCING:OUR 13” PORTABLE 


“ITS A SONY?” a \ 


\ 
©1976 Sony Corp. of America. SONY isa trademark of Sony Corp. Model TV-131 Black an TV picture simulated | 


\ 


The January Honda: 


54 mpg highway. 41 mpg city” 


For as long as the EPA has been testing cars, 50 miles Ee M eo 
per gallon has been a magic number, a record to shoot for. |owecvcciasse — rice Highway] City 
Like 60 home runs or the 4-minute mile. ОАО аду э umm isa ten a to) 
Now our 1977 Honda Civic CVCC® 5-Speed has become aa PETAEN 
the first car sold in America to do the impossible. Sedan _(&$реез} 152999] 50146) [20 (38) 
According to EPA estimates it got 54 mpg for highway Wagen Speed) | $9549] ал (27) [з0(28) 
driving, 41 mpg city* (Handamotic) |53699 | 32 (32) |27 (25) 

e 4 pg city A Givic 1237 ce (nat available in Calif. ond high | 
See your Honda dealer and test drive the car that broke altitude counties) 
the Mileage Barrier. The 1977 Honda Civic 5-Speed. E a == En 2 2 
It’s brand new. But already it's a very rare car. Hatchback 

(Hondamatic) |$3199| 29 23 

CVCC, Civic and Hondamati 


re Honda trademarks. © 1977 American Honda Motor Co., Inc. 
"ЕРА ESTIMATES. TI гу depending on the type of d. 

equipment. For high ali yo r EPA mileage estimater. Cal 
«Manufacturer's suggested retail price plus freight, tax, license and optional equipment. 


JANUARY 


123456789012 344 15 


SAT SUN MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT SUN MON TUES WED THURS FRI SAT 


shown in parentheses. 
Ititude models $35 extra. 


u do, your driving habits, your car's condition and optional 


16 V 


SUN MON 


HONDA CIVIC 
What the world is coming to. 


6 1? 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 3l 


TUES WED THURS FRE SUN MON 


PLAYBOY 


Таг 
goes fov tar 
one better. 


Of course 
Tareyton’ filter reduces tar... 
Tareyton has less tar than 75% 
of all other cigarettes sold! 
..but it also improves the taste 
with activated charcoal. 


“Us Tareyton smokers 
would rather fight 
than switch?" 


5 The U.S. Environmental 
| Protection Agency recently 
reported that granular activ 
ated carbon (charcoal) is the 
best available method for 
1 filtering water. As a matter 
of fact. many cities across the United States 
have instituted charcoal filtration systems 


for their drinking water supplies. 
The evidence is mounting that 
activated charcoal does indeed improve 


the taste of drinking water. 

Charcoal also helps freshen air 
in submarines and spacecraft. 
à And charcoal 
is used to mellow 
the taste of the 


That’s why Tareyton 
is America’s best-selling 
charcoal filter cigarette. 


finest bourbons. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. | king Size: 16 mg. “tar”. 12 mg. nicotine; 
100 mm: 16 mg. "tar", 1.2 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


E sooress pLavcoy MAGAZINE - PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 N. MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


CARTER: PRO AND CON 

Those who criticize Jimmy Carter for 
his Playboy Interview (November) are 
more brazen than the Pharisees. As for 
those who castigate him for granting an 
interview to PLAYBOY on the grounds that 
no Christian should be caught dead in 
such company, I'm wondering what they 
would say about Jesus. The Bible says he 
ate and drank with sinners. I don't. be- 
lieve Jesus would hesitate to grant 
PLAYBOY an interview if it would publish 
his message—or to cat and drink with its 
readers! 


Norma Neal Gause 
Tarpon Springs, Florida 


It is incredible that in this day and age, 
the American people have been so thor- 
oughly brainwashed by evangelists and 
clergy аз to make such a big deal about 


lust. 


Raymond Daugerdas 


New Kensington, Pennsylvania 


Since he projects himself as another 
Roosevelt, Kennedy or Johnson, will 
Jimmy С a the shack- 
up department as they were? 

Thomas H. Doyle 
Fair Lawn, New Jersey 


er be as active 


Let him who is without sin cast the 
first ballot. 
Christopher A. Colthorpe 
Sylva, North Carolina 


who hasn't thot 
and ГЇЇ show you 


how 
ШИ 


Sandie Gassman 
;olumbus, Ohio 


As a minister, I admire Jimmy Carter's 
honesty on lust, 
Rev. Rol 


"Later, when I became governor," 
ter told PLaynoy, "I was acqu 
with some of the people at C 
Records in. Macon—Otis Redding and 
others.” Carter was governor of Georgia 
from 1971 to 1975. Redding died in 1967 
There are three posible expl. 
arters misspecch: (A) He was ac 
quainted with a man who was arguably 
the greatest performing artist of modern 
times bot cannot place the time of this 


acquaintanceship 10 the nearest fou 
years. (B) He cannot place the time of 
his governorship to the nearest four years. 
(С) He was fibbing. I had lunch with Jim 
Croce the other day. “None of the 
above,” he said. “Could it be that, to 
Carter, they all look alik 
Craig S. Karpel 
New York, New York 


If the folks in Atlanta had seen fit to 
supply us with the information Robert 
Scheer collected, T doubt that one cam- 
pus in this state would have failed to 
turn out voters overwhelmingly for Jim- 
my Carter. It was a tough мега 
a good one. 


James Н. Ewing, Executive 
Vice-President 

College Young Democrats 

State of Tennessee 

Knoxville, Tennessee 


So Jimmy Carter has looked at women 
with Just. So what? At least he hasn't put 
them on the Congressional payroll at the 
taxpayers! expense for his own private 
usc, has not pon 
public place 
propositioned anyone on the streets 
Mario Zamora 
Asherton, Te 


as 


I'm sorry homosexuality makes Jimmy 
Carter so nervous. I'm also sorry һе cs- 
caped the subject as easily as he did. 
Unfortunately, the realities of being gay 
are not escipable. Any man who wants 
the chance t0 represent the people of the 
United States but cannot decide which 
citizens deserve equal status because of 
what his Bible says deserves not to repre- 
sent anyone. 1 cannot believe in a Pres- 
ident who does not believe in me. 

ў topher Peterson 
New Jersey 


ter’s openness, I am g 
issues. However, you showed a complete 
lack of understanding. For one thing, your 
understanding of sin and being human 
comes only from the conservative and 
fundament а of Christianity. While 
these understandings are valid, you failed 
to give any credence to social or corpo- 
rate sins—the sins of society and one's 
participation in them. 1 was very pleased 
to see that Carter did not let you get 


PLAYBOY, FEBRUARY, 1977, VOLUME 24, MUMBER 2 FUBLISWED MONTHLY BY FLAYSOY. FLAYSOY BUILDING. этэ WORTH MICHI 


CAGO, ILLINOIS 60611. SUBSCRIPTIONS. 


MAROLO DUCHIN 
RICHARD CHRISTIANSEN, MANAGER, 3340 PEACHTREE RO, N E- 
GELES, STANLEY L. PERKINS, MANAGER, 0721 BEVERLY взр: 


RELATIONS. MICHAEL 3. MURPHY, CIRCULATION PROMOTION DIRECTOR. ADVERT:SING: Hi 
NATIONAL SALES MANAGER. 742 THIRD AVENUE 

ANAGER. JONN THOMPSON, CENTRAL REGIONAL MANAGER 

DETROS, WILLIAM Е MOORE, MANAGER, MIS F 

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PLAYBOY 


12 


j with such а narrow conception of 
sin. On no other issue did you push him. 
The political issues were much more im- 
portant, but you let them slide and con- 
centrated on your own narrow point of 


is à very poor one. 
liam К. Backstrom, P 
First Christian Church 
San Jose, California 


ter 
for the criticism he took for granting the 


1 had to sympathize with Jimmy C; 


Playboy Interview. Isn't it strange —18 
ionths ago, our Treasury Secretary, W 
liam Simon, was the subject of a Playboy 
Interview and not one damn word was 
said! Screw this silly season called. clec- 
tion year. What's good lor the goose is 
Keep up the good 

ne with 


Jacqueline A, Rasala 
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 


It seems to me that Jimmy Carte 
propensity for looking at women wi 


Many 
or vi 


nes а Pres- 
prominent 
walks of life. Think of 
how uneasy politicians such as Bella Ab- 
solda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Shirley 
. entertainers such as Kate 
h or former Presidents! wives such as 
Mamie Eisenhower and Bess Truman 
ay feel in Carter's presence, knowing he 
may be mentally seducing them at that 
No the big smile all 


moment. wondi 


ihe time. 


J Stuart Torrey 
Swarthmore, Pennsylvania 


Jimmy, We Hardly Know Y'all 
(rLaynoy, November) made me feel like 
upchucking. H there is anything fuzzy 
about Garter, its the writers who cover 


Joe T. Canad 
San Diego, California 


Jimmy Carter wa 
wrongs and admit our mista e a 
man; no looking for excuses to justily 
the Vietnam war aud many other past 
and. present. blunders. It would be better 
his unconditional amnesty were a little 
more forceful, to include Viet vets w 
bad discharges for their opposition 10 
this war, but at least he's taking a step 
in the right direaion 


15 10 past 


Denver, Colorado 

As you may have read, a Federal mag- 
istrate in Anchorage, Alaska, released an 
alleged draft dodger, Dickran James 
Erkiletian, without bail, based on Pres- 
identelect Jimmy Carter's “Playboy In- 
terview” promise to pardon draft resisters. 


We Americans have demanded honest 
and open politicians and at the first sign 
of this honesty, cry, “Immoral, immoral. 
If Americans of voting age were honest, 


admitting they have lusted in their 
hearts, Governor Carter would have won 
the election by 90 percent over President 


Ford. 
Robert H. Poulin 
Waterville, Ma 


Re the Jimmy Carter 
thanks! Thanks lor giving your reader- 
ship a greater insight into the man than 
they could get from the orchestrated TV 
debates. I only wish you could have in- 
duded a similar interview with Jerry 
Ford in time for the election. 
John W. Barlow 
Aurora, Colorado 
Paul Conrad, editorial cartoonist for 
the Los Angeles Times, had a different 


1 Colliers Lope 


7 
© 1976 LOS ANGELES TIMES, WITH PERMISSION, 


idea of the ideal medium for a Gerald. 
Ford intervie 


For the fist time in about ten years, 
after an uninterrupted diet of Time, 
Newsweek, Punch, Esquire and others, I 
read from cover to cover two issues of 
your magazine. 1 would like to give you 
the following straight-Irom-the-ly. British 
opinion: You could take all the Pla с» 
d other nudes он! of your magazine 
and I would still buy it at twice the cover 
price. PLAYBOY must be the only world- 
wide news that con: 
са isn 


politically aware manner. Your Jimmy 
Carter interview is a resounding proof of 
this. Simply because no other publication 
carries such regular in-depth interviews 
with people who are important to the 
world. The past few weeks have shown 


quote PLAYBOY quoting 


Peter Hobday 
Bedford, England 


like to share with you the sen- 
s I expressed in a leter to the 


Reverend W. A. Criswell, the Dal 
tor who denounced Carter for 
g an interview t0 PLAYBOY: 
Dear Reverend Mr. Criswell: 

I must say, I was deeply disap- 
pointed at your open denunciat 
of Governor. Jimmy 
ful member of your ом 
Чоп. | am nor quite sure | agree 
with you k concern- 
ing PLaYnoy which you 


and 
how do 
AYBOY ds 
aphic?" Have you re 
More importantly, some of the great- 


rious” 


all, 


First of 
thar 
“porne 


“pornogr 
you 
“salacious” 


know 
and 
dit 


est evangelists of our day have been 
d in more unbe- 
places than Jimmy Carte 


been 
s ha 


Graham known to 
visit skid-row. ba the chap- 
lain of Bourbon Street; and the Rev. 
erend David Wilkerson is well 
known for his visits to the slums of 
New York, As a member of the 
Southern Baptist Convention, you 
are supposed to be my spiritual lead- 


er. Yer you don't сусп appear to 
know the Scripture. Jesus sat with 
“publicans and sinners” and cor 
demmed the Pharisees for just such 
а selfrighteous attitude as yours. I 
think you owe Governor Carter, 
PLAYBOY m d Christians 


у apology. Jimmy Ca 
ter is a grown man. I believe he can 
handle viavnoy. Im not so sure of 
the Reverend W. A. Criswell. 

Dale P, Eva 
ома Mesa, Califor 


У 


rightwing conservative, I have 
never been impressed by Carter's views 
wophy. However, what did im- 
press me was that he had the balls to say 
what he said and that's more than I can 
say for the hypocritical press coverage he 
received and your publication tolerated. 
muel W. Rochansky 


An offand-on subscriber for ten years, 


I ardently protest rtAYmov's public ex- 
ploitation ol is interview with Jim 
Сапег, which attracted amazing con- 


troversy even before it appeared. 


am 
confident the timely leak of his contro- 


venial statements enhanced the sale of 
the magazine on newsstands, a goal fore- 
most in the minds of rrivnovs. promo- 
tion stali, no doubt. But in rLAYnOY'S 
haste to the bank, it has handed its 10 
subscribers a slap in the face. I look 
forward to the Playboy Interview each 
month and I would like to be ан 
first to possess a copy of a much-talked- 
about article such as Carte: 
Instead, | was among the last, I think 
PLAYBOY may be biting the hand tha 


jong the 


intervie 


built totake it. 


We put a Royce CBin a paint shaker and it took it. 


modular design. Т he Royce difference. And 
that's why the Royce CB is tough enough to take 
the circuit-jarring torture of a paint shaker. 

When you've got a 40-channel Royce CB 
you've got quality in a lot of different ways. Lil 
exclusive modular circuit design. The simplicity of 
fewer wires. The strength of autom: oldering. 
The precision of automated assembly. And the 
quality consistency of computer tuning. 

Put it ther and you've got one tough CB 


ragio The ^s E ү nnel Royce CB radio. It's built 
* to take it. that’s why 
see Everybody's talking’bout Royceu 


smputer tuning 
Electronics Corp., 1746 Levee Rd., М. К 


ure or send $2.00 for full-color 1977 40-channel CB catalog to Roy 


PLAYBOY 


14 


What every amateur should know: 

Why professional 

photosrapher: 
ing to the 

' Olympus cameras. 


are switc 


Ponder & Best, Ine., 1976 


35mm SLR that's 
one-third lighter and smaller. 
Professional photographers have 
been complaining for years that 35mm 
SLR cameras had become too big. 
too heavy and too noisy. But there was 
nothing they could do about it. Until 
the introduction of the incredible 
Olympus OM-1 camera. It was one- 
third smaller and lighter than 
existing cameras, and much quieter. A 
few professionals tried it— to see if 
it was rugged enough and versatile 
enough. It was. And very quickly both 
professionals and amateurs made the 
Olympus OM-1 a world-wide succe: 


> 
2 
2 


Introducing the new OM-2. 

Now history repeats itself. Olympus 
introduces the OM-2, an automatic 
351 system camera. The photog- 
rapher sets the aperture and the 
camera makes the exposure — auto- 
matically. But again — an incredibly 
small, light and quiet camera. 


Unique Metering. 
An automatic camera is as good as 


its metering system. And only 
Olympus has developed the "idea 
metering. The light is measured as 

it is actually reflected from the film. 
And if the light changes, the 
exposure changes instantly and auto- 
matically. Other cameras are blind 
during the time the picture is taken. 
And the OM-2 can take picture 
automatically other cameras can't 
because it works from a fast 1/1000th 
of a second to long, long exposures 
up to about 60 seconds. 


The system that grows with you. 
Both Olympus cameras are part of 
huge tem of more than 200 
cluding lenses from 8mm 
fisheye to 1000mm telephoto. inter- 
changeable viewing screens. and motor 
drives. You can start shooting beautiful 
pictures with the basic camera and 
keep going. You may even become a 
pro. See a demonstration at your 
Olympus dealer. 


OLYMPUS 


Marketed i tho USA. by Ponder 8Best, Inc. Corporate Offices: 1620 


fort SL, Santa 


a, CA 90105, 


feeds it, And one of those hands belongs 
to те. 


It may be hard to believe we're not 
geniuses at publicizing an interview, but 
the simple truth is that decided to 
release the entire text. of the interview 
ahead of time to avoid controversy. 
pLavnoy lakes about three weeks 10 
print, and when the first copies came off 
the press, we realized. there was danger 
that selected excerpts would leak. So we 
decided, at our own expense, 10 ma 
available to the media over 1000. pre- 
prints of the entire interview so the 
public would see the context of Carter's 
remarks. What the media decided to ex- 
cerpt from the full text available to them 
is another story. 


uld like to congratulate Robert 
s interview with Jimmy Car- 
ter and his article Jimmy, We Hardly 
Know Y'All. Both are excellent articles 


not seen in Newsweek or Reader's Digest, 
both of which had lengthy article 
views with him. 
much more penetrating 
I do not like your magazine: 
first issue 1 have seen. But 1 am 
purchased the copy, which 1 threw in the 
trash can after cutting out the article to 


ie withheld by request) 
oma, Washington 
Win a few, lose a few. 


BIG APPLE CORPS 

Craig Karpel’s outstanding piece on 
New York City (There Are S000000 
Stories in the Naked City and This Is the 
Last One) in your November issue is one 
of the most lucid and i i 
cles I have read in y 
seen the bottom line—on New York or 
the Vietnam war—so well and percep- 
tive! 


Bill M. 
Montreal, Quebec 


Karpel's analysis of New York City's 
ills is the best Гуе seen. Doom has 
been predicted for the city for de 
and will come in time. Cupidity is its and 
our downfall. 


eles 


1 Конан 
шоп, D.C. 


Craig Karpel is а son of a bitch who 
should have his fat mouth punched in so 
people don't have to read bullshit like 
that. Гуе heard all that «тар about New 
York already. I love the Big Apple and 
always will. 


(Name withheld by request) 
Stamford, Connecticut 


STOCK MARKET QUOTATIONS 
Ticker Tape Tipton’s humpty-dumpty 
advice on How to Make Real Money in 


WHY MOST CRITICS USE 
MAXELL TAPE TO EVALUATE 
TAPE RECORDERS. 


Any critic who wants to 
do a completely fair and 
impartial test of a tape re- 
corder is very fussy about 
The tape he uses. 

Because a flawed tape 
can lead fo some very mis- 
leading results, 

A tape that can't cover 
the full audio spectrum 
can keep a recorder from 
ever reaching its full 
potential. 

A tape thats noisy 
makes it hard to measure 
how quiet the recorder is. 

A tape that doesnt 
have a wide enough bics 
latitude can make you 
question the bias settings. 


And a tape that doesnt 


sound consistently the 
same, from end to end, 
from tape to tape, can 
make you question the 
stability of the electronics. 

If a cassette or 8-track 
jams, it can suggest some 
nasly, but eroneous com- 
ments about the drive 
mechanism. 

And if a cassette or 
8-track introduces wow 
and flutter, ifs apt to pro- 
duce some test results that 
anyone can argue with. 

Fortunately, we test 
every inch of every Maxell 
cassette, 8-track and reel- 
to-reel tape to make sure 


they don't have the prob- 
lems that plague other 
tapes. 

So its not surprising that 
most critics end up with our 
tape in theirtape recorders. 

Ifs one way to guaran- 
tee the equipment will get 
afair hearing. 


Maxell. The tape that’s too good for most equipment. 


Maxell Corporatian of America, 130 West Commercial Ave.. Moonachie, New Jersey 07074 


al joy (o 
of the N 
who manipulate stock prices ир and 
down and who, through the use of the 
make the public believe price 
tion has to do with supply and 
demand. 


PLAYBOY 


Ernest P. Padilla 
San Rafael, Califor 


How to Make Real Money in the Stock 


Market is the best article I h: 
the topic. In fact, there may be no stock- 
market books containing as much good 


ni 


Charles L. 
Saaamento, 


I was very impresed with John B. 
Tipton’s article оп the stock та 
However, I am curious to 
own success in the stock market. 

(Name withheld by request) 
St. Bonaventure, New York 


is mis about Solitron. 
‘ther Tipton or my latest 
lard & Poor's, according to 
n 1960 
ve ata 


Someone 
Devices: it 


So how does Tiptor 
Did the stock split 
. T. Hardwicke 

Sereno, California 

Tipton replies to all comers: 

Applying my own philosophy, 1 have 
had some stocks on which I've lost as 
much as 100 percent of ту investment 
and stocks that have returned me as 
much as 1000 percent. 1 have far out per- 
formed the general market. during the 
past ten years. And, yes, Solitron did split. 


HOO-HA BROUHAHA 
Re The Great Willie Com- 


Fry 


Nelson 
Brain 


mando Hoo-Ha and Texas 


уйщ 
ride. 1 wanted him 


young and 
Willie listened, lied and told me 
thought T had а chance to be 
nd learn to 


he 


пут ‘The image I had 
one y wa 
hed by you to the 


les and rip a 
iates. I, indeed, it is truc, Iw; 
to thank you for al 
not, 1 som 


wish 


would tell me! 


Ed Cobb. 
Minden, Loi 


ously thrown off 
ol a Dallas night club 
my engagement there was termi- 

nated, The first person to call with an 
1g encouraging word was Willie Nelson. We 


е then, he 
Willie" to me 


relers to me a 


Believe cc. Like 
s rehears- 

Vice-Presiden acceptance 

"Is no disgrace to come from 


just 
Im proud to be 
asshole from El Paso. 
Kinky Friedman 
New York, New York 
Kinky Friedman, former leader of the 
group The Texas Jewboys, was profiled in 
PLAyBoOY's “On the Scene" in August 1974. 


MOVIE BUFF 

Your Sex in Cinema pictorial (eLavnoy, 
November) is, as usual, great! My fa 
ite photo is the one from Drum, fcatui 
Isela Vega, who you say was the subject 
of a "memorable" rraypoy pictorial. 
Memorable as it may have been, I've 
completely forgotten it and T can't under- 
stand why—Isela looks like someone I 
wouldn't be likely to foi 


Just to refresh your memory, here's 
the picture we used back in July of 1974 


lo open our pictorial on Mis Vega. 
Memorize it—there'll be a quiz at the 
end of the term. 


MISTY EYED 
Your Misty pictor 
ber) is superb. 


1 (PLAYnoY, 


M. Jenni 
New York, New. York 


Misty Rowe is the best thing yet to 
appear in pLaynoy and alone is worth 
tlie price of admission. 

Eric Kirk 
St. James, New York 


I had the good fortune to play oppo- 
Noel Coward's Pi 
ing at Stella Adler's 
› „ So 1 wholeheartedly 
agree with Miss Adler's praise of Misty's 
sensi yet powerlul gilt as an actress. 
But the starving artist in me cannot help 
being a tiny bit offended that Misty 
should feel compelled to sell her (lovely) 


body to PLaysoy when the gilt she 
offers mankind is far more intrinsically 
profound. 


James Crafford 
New York, New York 


uide to Blac! 


(Playboy After 
November) ; 


w h I 


ks. 
а C. Rowe 
ago, Ilinois 

Fran Ross, the author of “A Guide to 
Black Slang,” ve plies: 

For the vecord, 1 am totally problack; 
in fact, I am black, My intention was to 
satirize stereotypes about blacks by seem 
ing to accept every blessed one of them, 
no matter how dumb—saying, in effect, 
“OK, folks, that's true and here's. the 
slang word we have for it” If a white 
person had written it, who knows —I 
might be upset, too, but 1 doubt it, (Now 
1 know how Richard Pryor must feel.) 


PATTI TAKES 


‚ your November PI 
mate, is definitely one of your finest 
discoveries. 


FPO, New York 09501 


Loved your C.B. theme in the Ps 
McGuire pict As an avid C.B.er, I'd 
be interested 10 know what kind of equip- 
ment is pictured. 


Elton Carr 
Jessup, Geor 
Patti's С.В. equipment. includes 


an 
static D-I04 Bicentennial Golden Fagle 


microphone, a Cobra 138 55/В AM 
o-way C.B. radio and a Midland 13-887 
B. transmitter, which she picked up at 
Triangle Stereo of Chicago. 


VATICAN ENCYCLICALS 

Eric Idle’s Vatican S 
(rrAvsov, November) is de 
stimulating. As the! 
don’t as the Rom: 


North Carol 


At estion, 
touched my Safe Zone. (I have to admit, 
he cheated. He wed his tongue) We 
found it was rather difficult to hold th 
position, partly because 1 was squirming 
too much. 


my partner 


Connie Fisher 
New Haven, Connecticut 


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25 N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Ш. 60611 


17 


Old Faithful. 


Good Old Faithful. Always got you 
where you were going. Always did it eco- 
nomically. A whole generation of Ameri- 
cons grew up with Old Faithful. And now, 
27 years and 33 million cars later, it's still 
a symbol of dependability and economy. 

Now there's o car that's just as reliable 
and economical as Old Faithful ever was 
It's New Faithful. The 1977 VW Rabbit 
With engineering so advanced that auto 
motive experts have hailed it as the kind 


of car Detroit will be building in the 1980's 
The Rabbit has а new fuel injection sys: 
tem, so it starts up quick os a bunny. 


Springs like one, too. O to 50 in just 77 sec 


onds. The Rabbit also has advanced eng: 
neering features like negative steering roll 
radius to help maintain directional stabil 
ity in the event of a front-tire blowout 
rack-and-pinion steering for more direct 
maneuvering and better road feel: and an 
independent stabilizer rear oxle, low in 


"Сом cluded, 


New Faithful. 


unsprung weight, for better road holding. 


New Faithful lives up to Old Faithful's 
reputation for economy, too. Because it 
hos fuel injection, you can use the most 
economical grode of gos* But you won't 
hove to use it very often. Rabbit gets 37 
mpg on the highway, 24 in the city. (Thats 
EPA's estimate for manual trans- 
mission. Your actual mileage 
may vary, depending upon your 
driving habits, your car's condi- 


tion and optional equipment.) 
Dependability ond economy That's 
whot Old Foithful gove а whole genera- 
tion of Americans. And that's what New 
Faithful is giving a whole new generation 
of Americans 
New Faithful. The 1977 VW Robbit. 


More Volkswagen from Volkswagen 


ован T Co. 


Treat yourself 
to light menthol Belair. 


mes ig tnt 


A —_— 


Ute s ats ^ | RR 
Now’ the time for the t 


г Madre "е" light menthol cigarette. 


Ca m 

6 Day/Date watch се iko. 

/ Yours for free B&W co "— 
the valuable extra on 


every pack of Belair. 


Tos 1000 gifts, = < 
write аа Gift Catalog: Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
Box 12B, Louisville, Ky. 40201 That Cigarette Smoking 15 Dangerous to Your Health. 
9 E = 


15 mg. “tar,” 1.1 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report Apr. 176 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


hat did you expect them to do— 

play dominoes? Under the headline 
ROPS HIT ву HAILSTORW," Kentucky's 
Cynthiana Democrat this 
line: "In addition, the storm caused their 
cattle to break through a fence and hover 
near their house and ‘ball all night." " 

. 

A British book company has just pub- 
lished a metric Bible. In this new version, 
called the Good News Bible, God tells 
Noah to build the ark 7133 meters long, 
22 meters wide and 13 meters high," Go- 
liath is three meters tall instead of “si 
cubits and a span" and his armor weighs 
about 57 kilograms d of “5000 
shekels of bras 


ran curious 


instea 


Seems somebody had taken a few letters 
off a community billboard in Ankeny, 
Towa. The tamperedawith message. rc 
ANKENY ACTIVITIES BLUE. ASS FESTIVAL— 
PLY THE AMERICAN FAG. 

. 

Crime of the century! A Portland, Оге- 
zon, wom: bbed in the butt with 
1 fork after she refused to give more than 
two fried-chicken wings to a guest at her 
birthday party. 


з was st 


. 

In celebration of the anniversary of the 
signing of the 19th Amendment. granting 
women the right to vote, a Philadelphia 
restaurant offered a [ree cocktail to any 
woman who ate there on а specific date. 
There was one catch The oli 
plied women accomp: 
by males. 


though 


only to 


. 

We were surprised to read. in the usu- 
ally conservative. Columbus. Dispatch 
this headline: “Go-Go GIRLS BUSTED ON 
EXPOSING CUNTS. 

° 

There's a Sucker Born Every Minute 
Department: A Papillion, Nebraska, com- 
mercial artist put an ad in a newspaper 
absolutely nothing" in return 
ndreds of 


offering 
for one dollar. He received h 


letters and calls and $230. He used the 
moncy to pay for the ad and buy bumper 
stickers that said—you guessed it—Anso- 
LUTELY NOTHING. 
Й 

The Ottawa Citizen contained ап ай 
Хог Club Le Marquis in u, Que- 
bec, announcing, "Direct from Las Vegas. 
Sabrina and Her All Nude Revue.” A 
ad, “Proper 


line at the bottom of the ad r 
Dress at All Times.” 
. 


Employees of a bank in Southern Cali- 
fornia wear T-shirts upon which appe: 
the words: WE po tr WITH INTEREST. One 
memorable morning, a woman employe 
showed up at work with an 
line on her shirt: rexacry 
WITHDRAWAL. 


addition 
FOR EARLY 


‚ A sale catalog for Rose 
Discount Records of 
Chicago carried an ad for 
English Vaginal Music. 


Englishwomen with bust measurements 
of less than 32 inches don't have to pay 
the ten percent sales tax on dresses. The 
law was originally meant as a tax-rclicf 
measure for parents of grade school 
students, but it’s now being treated widely 
as а sort of consolation prize for flat- 
chested women. 


• 

Апа if all the useless statistics were put 
together, they would fill ten football sta- 
diums. The Wilmin 
Evening Journal recently published. this 
enlightening item: “If all the human fe- 
male eggs used to produce the current 
world population were put together, they 
would not fill an empty chicken egg and 
if all the male spermatozoa. necessary to 
fertilize them were brought together. they 
would fit on the head of a pin." Yes. 
and just think of what a lovely reunion 
it would be. 


. 
Our Bungled Robbery of the Month 
Award goes to the burglar who surrepti 
tiously attempted to enter a Buffalo, New 
York, Woolworth’s store through а ver 
tilation shaft, As it turned out, the shaft 
he chose was directly above the lunch. 
counter grill and the burglar stayed hid- 
пр 

until, finally, he could no longer stand 
the heat and stuck his hand out to ask for 
a glass of water. “It's amazing.” said the 
Storc's assistant manager. “He never 
asked for help all day, even though the 


den there during nine hours of соо 


grill temperature reached 350 degrees 
Police said the burglar had at least one 
and a half inches of grease on him when 
apprehended. 
б 
The following ad ran in the DeKalb, 
Ilinois, Citizen Shopping News: ^ 
Sale—International mou 
2MH—S50—Perfect condi 
. 
A French mathematics teacher is suing 
a mental dinic for incarcerating him for 
11 years in the mistaken belief that he was 


r 


ad pecker— 


21 


AYBOY 


Pi 


another man with a similar name, The 
court was informed that the complainant 
was sane enough to earn three degrees 
from Toulouse University while interned 
atthe funny farm 


. 
narquee of the Rivershore 
п Richland, Washington: 
WELCOME INTL. POT DEALERS. The grect- 
ng referred not to weed entreprencurs 
but to the seasonal convention of the 
International Pot and Kettle Club, a 
gathering of housewares distributors. 
. 

In an article about the breakdown of 
prudery оп Sp aches, the Br 
Airways magazine Highlife made this in- 
teresting observ “It is about sis 
усих since the last time a girl was ar 
rested for wearing a bikini on the beach. 
But gradually, tl 


Scen on the 
Motor Inn 


cracks are appearing." 
. 


Our Chutzpah Citation of the Month 
goes to the two Detroit robbers who held 
up a man on the street and got so 
pissed off at him for having only $38 
his wallet that they forced him to 
the bank and withdraw ап 
5100. They left him with one doll. 
cab far 


е 
The Columbian Sunday TV Week 


е of New Westminster, British 
Columbia, inadvertently misprinted an 
ad for N Simon's Come Шош Your 


Horn as Come Blow Your Friend. 


. 
Some people can make money out of 
nything: According to Ohio's Steuben- 
ille Intelligencer, “a Sinclair Avenue 
ident told Steubenville City Council 
he is serious in his threat to file a multi 
million-dollar shit against the mu 
y if property on his street 
improved." 


. 
Women who place bundles of steel оп 
cranes at the Algoma Steel Corporation 
1 Ontario are demanding that their job 
tile be changed. They are now called 
hookers. 


. 

Good и g, fellas, Describing two 
identical schools built in Montebello, 
California, Parks & Recreation magazine 
stated tha dows nonexistent, 
making breaking less likely.” 

А 
Sign outside а Standale, Michigan, res- 


tau EVERY TUES. ALL THE CHICK YOU 
CAN EAT $2.35, 


ie 
Or be able to prove she's pregnant? 
The Mandan, North Dakota, St. Joseph 
Church. Bulletin carried this announce- 
A purse was found in church with 
no identification in it. The owner may 
have the purse by stating how many birth- 
ol pills were left in the dispenser.” 


MY FAIR FUHRER 


ow that Andrew Lloyd Webber and 

Tim Rice, who gave us Jesus 
Christ—Superstar, have brought us 
Evita, a twoxecord opera based on the 
life of Eva Perón, the first wile of 
tator Juan Perón (sce Music, page 
MCA Records predicts that its apolit- 
ical production will spawn several hit 
singles. Evita, you may recall, rose from 
a humble career as an actress to rule 
the pampas with a fist; if Evita 
follows in the footsteps of Jesus and 
goes to the movies, we'll soon be seeing 
dictatorial musicals such as: 

Idi—Vhe life and 
ible Idi Amin fe 
moaning Hava Nagilah at the Entel 
be Airport. After Barrys backup 
group, Love Unlimited, hustles him to 
safety, he meets the Isracli commander, 
played by Steve McQueen. An accord 
is reached and the two appe: 
Ugandan television as a mu 
comedy team called Steve and Idi. 

Indira: State of Emergency—Al- 
ready S.R.O. on the Indian subcon- 
tinent, this sequel to Slate of Siege is 
Teil tcd by sari-clad Shelley Wii 
acterization of Mis. Gandli 
nd the Meher B: 
Singers hit the musical high note when 
they me the фей offices of a 
Delhi newspaper to sing The Sounds 
of Silence. 

Shah Nuff—Hawk-nosed Iranian 
leader Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi 
(Kirk Douglas) and his SAVAK secr 
police put the Soul Т G 
through its ра g to the 
O'Jays’ Backstabbers, the Gang docs 
the Lock, the Robot and the Break- 
down. 
ambassador's girlfriend, M: 
smiles a lot and the cx-Secretai 
State appears as disco d.j. Henry the K. 


Paul 


Johannesburg—Gil Scott-Heron 
scores with the score to this epic tale of 
a troubled society. Fresh from Cuba, 
Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier 
lead the Last Poets out of Soweto and 
into the streets, where they Jock horns 
with an Afrikaner police chief (Rod 
ier). Kudos to Bob Dylan and 
an Ferry for their harmonies on 
1 Hard Rain's Gonna Fall. 

Richard M!—lrs dapper David 
Bowie portraying the Chief, a leader 
ams a monster group (Kiss) 
to destroy a dangerous 18-minute 
de pc. Dylan again, as the Special 
Prosecuior, couples with Deep ‘Throat 
Donna Summer and tells Bowie that 
"Sometimes even the Pre 
got to stand naked." Stripped of his 
power, the exiled Bowie spends the 
rest of his days listening to outtakes 
of Fame. 

Gulag—Alexander Solzhenitsyn's 
script provides blockbuster underpin- 
ning for this Woodstock. 
which includes everybody from the 
Beatles (Back im the USSR) to 
Frank Zappa (Whe Are the Brain 
Police?). Also appearing: K.G.B., with 
Mike Bloomfield. A hot ticket in cast- 
European neighborhoods and on 
pitol Hill, 

Springtime for Hitler—Every wend 
needs some nostalgia, so here comes a 
full-length version of the madcap pro- 


who pre 


musical 


duction number fra Mel Brooks's 
The Producers. This time around, 
inal Führer Dick Shawn is saluted 


ded by Blue Oyster Cult, 
bbath and the Ramones. 
t mis Adolf and Eva (Patti 
mith) ducting in the bunker: Would 
you believe Mrs. Braun, You've Got a 
Lovely Daughter? ANE PECK 


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light you may have to depend on in an emergency may not be where 
you think it is. Keep a spare in a safe place, like your 
=; » love compartment. The “Eveready” Economy 
BM Flashlight makes it easy, because it’s priced 
right. Get one. You never know when you'll 
need it. 


“Eveready” is the Number One brand name in flashlight batteries. 
Make it your Number One choice for watch batteries. You can 
depend on us for quality. Our watch batteries, for example, use 
a unique, patented Radial Seal* construction which helps 
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UNION 
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23 


24 


Scout Fitzgerald's The Last Tycoon—a 

novel revered as a classic despite the 
fact that Fitzgerald died before completing 
his first draft—is now back in circulation 
pted by Harold 
n Spiegel and di- 
rector v, mannered and 
elliptical. Tycoon on film is ап exercise 
in frustration. The movie breaks off ар 
proximately where the book does, with 
characters only half developed. conflicts 
outlined but unresolved, loose ends of 
plot dangling in limbo. Robert De Niro, 
as Monroe Sta Hollywood Wunder- 
kind and studio chief not unlike the late 
ng Thalberg of MGM—remains alool, 
nd compulsive without re- 
‘d in 
learns 
good health, 
though Fiugerald's notes for the novel 
tell us that Stahr had perhaps six months 
to live and died in a plane crash before 
his time ran out Author Pinter, whose 
plays and films 
the fearful human condition, 


s nor i 


not 


may 


have been the ideal writer to fill the gaps 
for rald. While sticking literally to 
the novel's ii „ Pinter has 

them an overlay of terse Pinteresque 


У often more provoking than 
^t someone say, urgently, 


The movi 
antic obsession 


nly upon Stahr's 
with ап enigmatic 


late wife, a great а 
doll-faced newcomer, foi 
Boulting, the girl ul enough but 
behaves as if she were in a state of light 
hypnosis. But them, everyone behaves 
rather strangely in Last Tycoon, арра 
ently reflecting director Karan’s dogged 
cflorts to invest а thin story with a sense 
of doom. Robert Mitchum and Theresa 
Russell, as a studio bigwig and his plucky 
daughter, have meaningless peripheral 
roles, though the book was written pri- 
marily from her point of view. Jeanne 
Moreau (as superstar invented 
for the movie), Jack Nicholson (as a left- 
wing union or 
irrelevant scene) 
film's best bit 
atinee idol who loves his wife but can't 
get it up for her) supply some 
fringe benefits for a movie that finally 
seems hollow at the center. 
е 

Produced by Robert Altman, Welcome 
to LA, was written. and directed by 32- 
old А! 


yed by a 
iodel Ingrid 


yc Rudolph, Altman's some- 
ише а nt, co-author and  protégi 
"The influence is pretty apparent,” 


says Rudolph with dead accuracy, for 
Welcome might be described as Som of 
Nashville, hough it was inspired by 


“The Last Tycoon 
on film is an 
exercise in frustration." 


LA.: nice try. 


Richard Baskin's musical suite City of the 
One Night Stands. The movie also owes 


а lot to Lindsay Anderson's О Lucky 
Man, with loo: tive tightly 
woven into its music. Welcome’s pri 
mary shortcoming is that Baskin (a heavy 


contributor to the score of Nashville) 
plays a peripheral role, often singing hi: 
own serviceable songs oncamera—and 
tually killing them, because he has very 
little presence as a performer. Such 
quibbles aside, Rudolph still rates cheers 
for his first solo fi t as a film maker. 


His work may be derivative, but it is 
also daring and uniquely challenging to 
movicyo age sensibility, who are 
apt to find Rudolph a year or two ahead 
of them. Keith Carradine, role close 
in tone and spirit to his part in Nash- 
ville, plays а young composer on the make 
who manages to make it with nearly every 
ady at hand during several hectic days 
prior to Christmas Eve in L.A. Geraldine 
Chaplin, Sally Kellerman, Harvey Keitel, 
Lauren Hutton, Viveca Lindfors, Sissy 
Spacek and John Considine play some of 
the emotionally displaced persons he en- 
counters in the course of a sexual 
daisy chain that picks up the restless, 
languid rhythm of L.A. life as few movies 


re you ready to make а commit- 
ment?" asks Hutton, as a girl photog- 
pher who appears to be the mistress of 
С ather (Denver Pyle) and 
spends her time taking pictures of corners 
"Maybe," he replies, in a fairly decisive 
n of the epidemic emptiness on 
display. Welcome's pivotal female role is 
delicately played by Miss Chaplin, as а 
mad young housewife who spends her 
days riding around the city in taxis, 
talking to herself and sometimes to the 
camera, Nearly every character in the 
film, in fact, sooner or later looks straight 
into the camera with the defiant or de- 
fenseless air of someone who has taken a 
wrong turn and been trapped. An obvious 
trick, sure; but Rudolph uses it with such 
rtful simplicity that he seems to be 
flipping through snapshots of lost souls 
in this bleak and haunting, thoroughly 
modern, imperfect and compassionate first. 
movie that is plainly only a teasing token 
of things 10 come. 


. 

Keith Carradine's brother David sings 
songs of the people in Bound for Glory, а 
nt hosanna adapted from the auto- 
aphy of folk singer Woody Guthrie. 
‘Though Guthrie is dead, the songs he 
wrote are alive and well—and still pound- 
ing out his message more potently, all in 
all, than this low-key, uncritical tribute 
to the man behind the music. Carradine’s 
thoughtful performance—as. unaffectedly 
honest as the words and music of the 
Guthrie classic This Land Is Your Land— 
caries Woody through the seminal. ycars 
beginni in 1936, when he left a 
poverty-stricken town in the Texas dust 
bowl to hop a freight and find his voice 
among the itin fruit pickers of 
fornia. Director Hal (of Shampoo and The 
Last Detail) Ashby weats the Guil 
if he were embarked upon a wide-sc 
e of The Grapes of Wrath, aud it’s 
a credit to Ashby that he often com 
close to capturing the power and simplic- 
ity of that unforgettable original by 
John Ford out of Steinbeck. Though far 


from great, Bound for Glory eases into 
pleasant intimacy with its subject and is 
enhanced by Haskell Wexler's splendid 
mood photography—a portrait of Ameri- 
са 40 years ago, as seen from rusty-dusty 
towns and fields and freight yards by à 
blue-collar poet. Ronny Cox, Gail Strick- 
land and Randy Quaid eloquently play 
some of the rich and poor folk who 
cross Woody's path, though the oddest bit 
of casting is Ashby's use of Meli 
lon—perfect and all but undetectable 
her dual role as Woody's anxious wife, 
Mary, and, in a bri s Memphis 
ue, опе of his carly singing partners. 
. 

‘There is hardly a human emotion that 
does not erupt at some moment of crisis 
in Voyage of the Damned, a lloating Grand. 
Hotel based on grim historical fact and 
acted wo the hilt by onc of those imer- 
national all-star casts that movie moguls 
must dream about, The script—though 
literate, and never so silly or overblown 
as those for formula disaster epics—is less 
than brilliant, and Stuart Rosenberg's 
journeyman direction is a full cut below 
that. Yet great good will combined with a 
subject makes Voyage a vivid, har- 
ag chronicle of the journey of the 
5.5. St. Louis, the Hamburg-Amerika lux 
ury liner that set sail from Hamburg in 


Dramatic Voyage. 


mid-May 1989 with 939 desperate Ger- 
man-Jewish refugees who innocently be- 
lieved they would find haven in Havana. 
Actually, they were the victims of a cruel 
propaganda move; unwanted by Cuba, 
the U.S. or any other civilized nation, 
they were abandoned 10 roam the sca 
aboard a ship stafled by Gestapo inform- 
ers and a handful of conscie 
Nazis. Max Von Sydow plays the capt 
a decent chap, with Helmut Griem as the 
SS bastard who seems determined to 
marantee that getting nowli 
no fun whatever for Faye 


ous anti. 


Harris, Wendy Hiller, Lee Grant, Sam 
Wanamaker, Maria Schell and movie new 
comer Lynne Frederick. The heroes and 
illains who keep pulling strings ashore 
include Ben Gazzara, Orson Welles, José 


Thank you, 
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our heavenly new name. 


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eye. Gemineye. 

So, thanks, Reverend Norman Kuck. 
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26 


Ferrer and James Mason—plus_lissome 
Katharine Ross. in a touching episode as 
a girl whose parents think she’s a language 
teacher, though she’s actually one of Ha- 
"5 top whores and, as such, is able to 
ngle landing permits and cash through 
Dunaway, Von Sydow, 
Werner and Grant take turns scintillat- 
ing, of course, in a flashy company that 
has every opportunity to unleash dramatic 
fireworks. Unlike Ship of Fools, scuttled 
on film a decade ago, this is rich, old- 
fashioned moviemaking that tells а com- 
pellingly tragic story with integrity and 


. 
intended as a nose-thumbing 
spoof of screen violence, Andy Warhol's BAD 
dy that treats bad 
nce—in much the 
same way that Warhol looked at Camp- 
bell soup cans and Brillo boxes and more 
or less invented pop art. The most expen- 
sive Warhol movie to date. (budgeted at 
over 51.000.000). BAD was produced by 
Jeff Tornberg, directed by r Jea Johnson, 
rien and performed 


a swarm of 


Perry Ki nee Susan Туп 
sini. They y 
hip to the dry humor of a horrendous 
tale about a band of hit girls operating 
out of an elearolysis parlor in Queens. 
Baker, a onetime sex symbol who has 
treated down-home seductiveness as a joke 
since Baby Doll, plays the madam in 
charge—with King, the only male member 
of the group. quailing at carrying out his 
assignment: He is supposed to do away 
with an autistic child. The girls on the 
team, however, don't blink ап eye 
about the crimes by contract they are 
hired to perform: murdering an old 
cramks dog ("And you've got to do it 
viciously"), throwing a harassed house- 
wife's baby out the window, setting a 
disastrous fire in a SpanishJanguage 
movie theater. Restraint is avoided wher- 
ever possible in favor of graphic gore, 
blunt language and outright offensivene: 
The excesses of BAD could not be worse, 
and the very title must be interpreted as 
a sassy invitation for critics to say so. That 
said, everyone can sit back and enjoy it 
as a piece of cenified junk art with a 
name label, 


D 
Sissy Spacek is sensational in the title 

role of Brian Dc Palma's expert sl 

Carrie, play 


telel 
at her bidding—who lets herself go 
wreaks horrible revenge at the spring 
prom. It's Татту on a rampage. Вес 
shivers, we're treated to the swaggering of 
two of moviedom’s most promi 
males—Carrie’s prom date, Wi 
son of Bill Williams and B. 


para (Della 


XRATED 


те carlicr 

French director Bar- 
bet Schroeder (More and, 
more recently, 4di Amin 
Dada—A Self-Portrait) 
may be echoed in a line 
spoken by the heroine of 
his newest, a checky то- 
mantic comedy about, of 
all things, an S/M mis- 
tress and her men. “Irs 
exciting to get into 
people's madness so inti- 
mately.” says she, when 
pressed to explain her 
peculiar profession to a 
young hustler who fallsin 
love with her alter bur- 
tment—no 
ordinary Parisian flat, he 
discovers, but а pad fit 
for complete 
is leath- 


one cor ШЕЙ, caged 
customer. Two of 
nce's fast-climbing 
young performers, Bulle 
Ogier and Gerard De- 
pardieu (he co-stars with 
Robert De Niro in Ber- 
iolucd's upcoming еріс 
1900), play the odd cou- 
ple whose ticklish rel: 
tionship is the main 
concern of Maitresse. 
Though the film brings 
us some real S/M freaks enacting their 
masy trips—the weirdest features a 
ked man who enjoys having his penis 
iled to a plank from time to time— 
Ogier and Depardicu dominate every 
ing that the 


cored by flagellants or tr 
Beides (Bulle) бой Машан Пее 
like апу working woman who takes some 
in performing a service that satisfies 
her clients, and occasionally slips away to 
live out her secret Ше 

nd mother. With the help of his win- 
some stars, Schroeder manages to take the 
ing out of sadomasochism, or at least to 
v it in the wryly slanted perspective 
of a cruel little comedy that ends—arbi- 
marily but on a cheerful note—when the 
lovers run away from it all in a fast car, 
Iing in the driver's scat as they go, and 
have à pretty bad smashup. They don't 
seem to mind much. C'est la vie, per- 
те into mild concussion and 


А 
In the opening sequence of Russ Mey- 
I stud whips and sodomizes 
а creepy old masochist who may or тау 
not be Adolf Hitler. Homosexual Nazis 


Tough Maitresse. 


“The weirdest trip 
features a man who 
enjoys having his penis 
nailed to a plank." 


and male characters 
equipped with salami- 
sized penises are relative- 
ly new to the world of 
Meyer—that lewd and 
lusty coitusland where 
mclon-breast*d women 
encounter. ballsy woods- 
men and let nature take 
its cowse. Up! spoofs 
sex and violence in the 
-comic tradi: on 
Meyer holds the 
though the in- 
asing emphasis оп 
blood and guts that be- 
an with Supervixen nx 
spoil some of the fun for 
fainthearts—especially 
when a couple of the 
boys start whooping it 
up with a hefty ax and a 
chain saw. The yummy 
centerpiece is a Meyer 
discovery, Raven De La 
Croix, as a sumpruously 
ntilevered heroine 
ed Margo Win- 
chester. who appears to 
be on a jogging trip 
through the Northwest 
woods until the plot 
catches up with her. Did 
we say plor? It's more 
like a conundrum, utter- 
ly mad and bad and 


probably indecipherable 
to any but those audiences for whom a 
Russ Meyer movie is a campy special 


event on a cultural mesa somewhere be- 
tween porno and the Demolition Derby. 
. 

Hardcore film makers had to find 
something new, if not better, and 3-D may 
be the trend. They're coming right ai you, 
чийе literally—with boobs, genii 
deep-drill insertions and ejaculations that 
appear to be aimed for the outer lobby— 


in Funk, a raw, crudely crafted pioneer 
effort about a man who meets two 
gypsy girls and conjures up fantasies in 


their crystal ball. As usual, you have to 
wear special glasses to 1 
the round docs, inde 
dimension. 


A rampant sex-crazed mermaid (Terri 
Hall. giving deep throat as never before) 
attacks swimmers and. attracts more-th; 
willing victims to a resort. town called 
at Hi Gums, writer-director 
Robert J. К. "s porno parody ol Jaws. 
Alter a promising start, the idea swiltly 
deteriorates into. a mishmash cluttered 
with low comedy, horny puppets, a Nazis 
ea captain who's a one-man horror show 
in himself and enough. unattractive studs 
and sexpots to sink any fuck filin. 


Street) Hale, perennial Hollywood hope- 
fuls of yesteryear, and John Travolta (sce 
Grapevine, page 197), hot newcomer 
recruited from TV's Welcome Back, Kot- 
ter, in a lesser role as the dirty trickster 
responsible for all hell's breaking loose. 
Piper Laurie stages a showy comeback as 

s fanatically religious mother, while 
proves again that he can wring 
of-yourseat suspense from a 
tale—or the telephone book. 

e. 

Tt doesn't say much for 
disguised on the стен 
Gene Wilder, a passenger on the Silver 
Streak, ап І.А. Сһісро express train, 
jumps off or is unwillingly jettisoned 
several times and always manages to over- 
ke the sluggish streamliner by flying or 
е such unscheduled stopover 
throws him into the company of Richard 
Pryor, as a fugitive thief, and together they 
give Streak most of its momentum— 
especially when Pryor daubs Wilder with 
shoe polish and tries to teach him how to 
do the fingersnapping strut like a black 
dude should. Jill Clayburgh, as а very 
standard damsel in distress; Patrick. Mc- 
Goohan, as a master criminal involved in 
hanky-panky over some Rembrandt 
paintings; and Ned Beatty, as a. Federal 
agent, are all aboard, though hindered by 
а few slow spots in director Arthur Hiller's 
adventure-cum-comedy based on a script 
by Colin Higgins (who wrote Harold and 
Maude), Wilder, as a mild-mannered 
gardening editor with for heroics, 
makes the trip worth while. 


FILM CLIPS 


Dirty Hands: Beautiful married lady takes 
treacherous young lover and hatches a 
plan to put her husband ош of the 
in writer-director Claude Chabrol's 


man and wife. 
and diligently 


it to death, 
tersweet Love: A perceptive perform. 
ance by Meredith Baxter Birney dissipates 
sleek soap opera about 


groom) who discover, too late, th 
will out—they are actually half brother 
a ‘Turner, superstar of 
the bride's understandably 
series of stunning 
gowns to ma le of gui 
Two-Minute Waring is a crafty but point- 
less thriller that gets a hammer lock on its 
audience by planting а mad sniper in 
m dur- 


yore, pl 
troubled. mother in 


potential targets on 
hand, Charlton Heston, John Cassavetes 
and Martin Balsam try—and fail—to pre- 
vent panic, while director Larry Peerce 
hypes a predictable script in which every 
bullet has a featured actor's name on it. 


Style isn't anything you can practice. 
Its something you're born with. 
Like Dino. Very long, very thin, 

very elegant. 
Wherever you 

smoke Dino it tells 

people youre a 

man with a style of 

your own. 


DINO 
BY GOLD LADEL 


27 


28 


BOOKS 


loria Emerson was for two ycars a 

New York Times corresponde 
Vietnam. The experience changed he 
and her long-awaited Winners end Losers 
(Random House) is an attempt to find out 
how the war changed the rest of Americ 
But she comes away from intimate visits 
with dozens of the maimed, the bored 
id the bitter without getting ап answer. 


In three years of crisscrossing the 
United States, Emerson often 
found Americans vehemently re- 


pressing the entire Vietnam © 
perience. "Asking them how they 
felt about the маг, I have heard stor 
about termites, the evil of welfare, diets 
that did not work. poor bus service, 
abortion, the horrible coss of feeding 
cattle and teenagers...” and so on. 

We sec a СГ named Cyclops who so 
loved his war t he would not write the 
letter that would set his brother exempted 
from the draft, Instead, he mailed home, 
as а Christmas present to his mother in 
Palatine, Ilinois. a skull with a shoulder 
patch of the Big Red One (First Di 
stuffed between its stained teeth. We 
a medic named Alton who took two slugs 
in the leg only to become а codeine ad- 
dict after careless treatment in a Key West 

We share the touching fi 
of letters between Emerson 
Nguyen Ngoc Luong, the Times 
translator. who spurned the American 
evacuation belore the fall of the 
1975 because “I hate , . . those View: 
ese who do not share the sufferings of 
the majority of the people.” Luong writes 
hopefully of a reunion. “somehow, some 
ume, in Vietnam.” Emerson. who once 
empathized with sufferers so much that 
she transported two wheelchairs from 
Hong Kong for war victims, answers him 
her book: “Th no hope. 1 do not 


ore 
nt to go back.” Our bridges to Indo- 


china are psychologically burned. 
. 
Nicholas von Hoffman has aptly sug- 


gested retitting Woodward and Bernste 
The Final Days. He would have called it 
Duddy Loses His Job. That pretty much 
sums up the depth of perception in the 
avalanche of Watergate books that has 
come down on us in the рам few уе 
with the notable exceptions of Born 
Again, by Charles Colson, At That Point 
in Time, by Fred Thompson, and the only 
truly comprehensive overview, Nightmare, 
by J. Anthony Lukas. Now John De 
Blind Ambition (Simon & Schuster) ta 
its place on the list as perhaps th 


s 
best- 
writen, dearest and funniest Watergate 
book to date. 


The fair-haired boy of Watergate, the 
first one то smell fire and whisper, “Fi Ё 
do yo' stuff" reveals yet another talent. 
Not for nothing did a United States 


Winners, losers and 'Namnesia. 


"Emerson often found 
Americans vehemently 
repressing the entire 
Vietnam experience." 


Dean dishes up Watergate on wry. 


President want this attorney for his official 
counsel. Not for nothing did this attorney. 
get that job at the age of 32. The book 
has many messages, but the one that seems 
to come across loudest and clearest is that 
this Dean character is one smart cookie 
who knows how to play with a full deck. 

Oh, he is hard on himself, He doesn't 
even think of gewing himself 
until page 216. He rclers to hims 
Caspar Milquetoast because he с 
up to Nixon's bizarre suggestions. It was 
six months after the fact before һе even 


mes. But he 
does not do his breast beating with his 
fist: It is a fine, soft tympany stroke run- 
ning beneath the surface of the entire 
book. It makes you like the guy. He is one 
of the few who have bothered to me: 
tion —however. 
that Ni 


ced he was committ 


ng cr 


he was fired. Dean is willing to 


admit that the whole story has not 
come out yet. McCord has not told 
all he knows. Jeb Magruder, Gor- 
don Liddy, Howard Hunt still re- 
main mysteries, not n ategorized 
criminals, as other journalists would have 
us think. And Dean is not se 
the ugly specter of Central Intelligence in 
all this—though he's not careless enough 


id to rà 


to go much beyond raising it. While 
terms of scope. is the 
se, hard. 


Nightmare, in 
Watergate book. reading it is de 
work. Blind Ambition i 
mare and much more fun for it. 


. 

Every American is on the same quest: 
Find a life to suit your style, then do 
your damnedest to keep up the payments. 
Tom Wolle’s onc insight imo contem- 
porary culture, which has been enough to 
keep him in fancy threads, is repeated in 
cach of the articles collected in Mouve 
Gloves & Madmen, Clutter & Vine (Farrar, 
Straus & Giroux). There are dandy up- 
dates on radical chic, funky chic and turn- 
the-other chic. A few years ago. the right 
still was something you took at one of 
Ken Key's Acid Te nes change. 
as Wolfe po 1a Feillerlike car- 
toon piece, Man Who Always 
Peaked Too Soon." Now a professional 
athlete is not on top ший he makes 
TV plug for men's cologne or appears 
a Wolfe profile ("The Commercial"). An 
encounter group junkie doesn't score 
until her hemorthoids receive top billing 
n Gt convention—and a cover story 
nd the Third G 
York maga 
e fresh: Hell, we 
haven't yet rec me of the n 
zines they firs appeared in. Do your post- 
vor and buy the book. 


boot. These 


QUICK READ 


N. Scot! Momodoy/The Names (Harper & 
Row): Momaday, whose first novel, House 


Made of Dawn, won a Pulitzer Prize in 
iograph- 


1968. h шо! 
ical book about growing up as ап Am 
can Indian in the 
strong spiritual тє 


now written an 


Southwest. Momaday's 
tionship 10 the wil- 
derness his interest in the Indian oral 
tradition and his love of the woods com- 
bine to make a lyrical, personal odyssey. 


ИН 
cce 


WITH NEW B 


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and drive train for two years or 24,000 miles, whether a part 
is defective or just plain wears out. And these are the parts 
that cost the most to fix or replace. 


And no other American car company matches the full 
one year/12,000 mile warranty that AMC includes. It covers 
everything else on your car except tires. 

AMC looks out for your well-being as well as your 
car's. If repairs under the warranty take overnight, we'll 
give you a free loaner car. And if those overnight repairs 
are over 100 miles from your home, AMC will reimburse you 
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When it comes to coverage, we may leave our com- 
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‘Water Pump NO NO 


Drive Train Parts Covered 
RearAWe/Oilerenial ҮЕЅМО NO МО 
Internal Transmission Parts YES NO NO NỌ 
Transmission Case YESNO МО NO 
Torque Converter 


Clutch YESNO NO МО 
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There's more to an AMC Fl 


28 


Last M ttention to the 


n the first side of Stevie Wonder's т 


y we called you 


longawaited Songs in the Key of Life Bethichem reissue of its jazz version with 
(Tamla), Mel Tormé and 
LP-plus Faye, and we reviewed 


the “operatic” versio 
under the direction of 
n Маал in our 
/ 176 issue. That 
УЙЛ was only the beginning, folks. 

Р RCA has rvelous new iwin- 
LP album that pairs Ray Charles 
and Cleo Laine, and their special talents 
give the music а fresh. dimension. "This 
ng new session is very jazz oriented. 
with tracks that feature a big orchest 
sound and the Reverend James Cleveland 


anum be- 
ise, he shows 
| eclecticism 


ber 


opening statement (Love's 
d of Love Today) gives way 
to blues with Africain and elec 
tronic sounds. commingled (Have a Talk 
with God), followed by an Eleanor Righ 
ist ballad with strings (Village Ghetto 
Land). а foray imo jazz-rock (Contusion, 


featuring Stevie’s traveling band. Won- ers. as backup for Charles and Laine, 
derlove) and another solt-rock number rranged and conducted by Frank DeVol. 
(Sir Duke). The second side, from the There are also several instr l tracks 


featuring Charles on piano, electric piano, 
organ and celeste, and they are so 
the most exciting cuts on the albu 


hard-rocking / Wish—a detailed remem- 
brance of childhood perversity—to the Al 
Greenish Ordinary Pain, stretches out 


more; it’s quintessential Stevie Wonder. Superlative Stevie. йз the inspired. pairing of Charles and 
Side three is the "message" side, largely Laine that makes this a must-have item. 
ause of Black Man, a long, rhythmic Then there's the all.jazz. allinsrumental 


p over which a classroom recites a Pablo LP performed by guitarist Joe Pass 
catechism celebrating notso-Famous men, “As a house-rocking and pianist Oscar Peterson, who plays the 
ol var who have A his- musician and singer, clavichord. this time our. Pass and. Peter- 
tory (it also includes Joy Inside My Tears. aran son have perlect rapport and the davi 
а ballad suitably paradoxical Stevie’s miles ahead. chord, tor all its antiquarian connotations. 
tonality). Side four, after another African- scems well suited t0 the music—especially 


sounding tune (Ngiculela—Es Una His _ g against Pass’s unamplified guitar 
toria) and a ballad that Stevie sings to the The last offering is another reissue—but 
accompaniment of Dorothy Ashby's harp issue: Ella Fitzgerald and Louis 
(1 I's Magic). closes with a pair of ex ^s 1957 Verve album, which is 
tended Gospel rock tunes—As. Another splendored thing. Ella and 
Ҹат ас employ such guest artists. as ss by themselves. aud 
Herbie Hancock and George Benson (on ч 
most of the earlier cuts. all the instru 
mental work is by Stevie). Now we get to 
the EP. It includes a sexy funk tune, АП! 
Day Sucker, a shullling harmonica insiru- 
mental (Easy Goin" Evening), another 
ge track Satim—which seems a bit 
sus, and rocker (Ebony 
sounds ike Little Stevie 
than our fall grown messiah, As to wheth- 
er the LP iy a musical tour de force or an 
overblown exercise in ¢go—well, the 
truth, as usual, is somewhere in between 
Musically and. technically, this is a great 
album and will provide material for scores 
of oiher artists (another respect, besides his 
! oc al melodic 
phrase—in which Stevie invites compari- 
son to the Beatles). but it’s guilty of over 
kill; in. like most of the better Beatles 
n and 
id. And any- 
one unimpressed by the lyric content of 


Louis arc 
so is the album. Oh, yes. all three albums 
az, and 


were produced by Norman Gi 
that’s no small accomplishment 
. 

You might think we'd be pr 
about Barbi Benton—and you'd be r 
Her hard work and energy are appar 
сїн on Something New (Playboy), which 
sounds to our cars like her best ver. It 
should be. Practically the entire L-A. 
studio Mafia takes a bow in the credits— 
Steve Cropper. Jim Horn, Bobby Keyes 
Sneaky Pete, et al—as well as remnants 
of Elton John's last band and James 
Newton Howard of the present one. Aud 
the songs are by such L.A. lights 
Andrew Gold. T Waits and We 
Waldman—though our favorite 
Spectorhaunted version of Gene Pituey’s 
He’s a Rebel. Barbi’s voice may not quite 
с the punch of a real shower 
ke Linda Ronstadt, but not many do, 
and with good songs like these that suit 


ines 


eclecticism. 


sion 


Songs should throw away the 24-page book- Catfish Row revisited. her. she sounds just linc. 
let and simply listen. These arc songs that . 
x hell of a lot better than they read. — renaissance that can only be characterized  Donizeni once wrote an opera. about 
. as awesome. The Broadway production Lucrezia Bor Now another sinister 


se you haven't noticed, though 40 of the tragedy set on Catfish Row is lady of state. Eva Peron, is the subject of 
rs have passed since its premiere, the doing turnzway business and the record a rock opera: Evita, by Апек Lloyd 
George Gershwin-tra Gershwin-DuBose companies have their presses working over- Webber and Tim Rice, who gave us 
Heyward classic Porgy and Bess is enjoyinga — time turning out assorted P&B goodies, Jesus Christ—Superstar. No, it’s not up 


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A single HPM-100 weighs almost 60 pounds. 
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Our speaker frames are made of heavy cast aluminum instead of the usual stamped metal, so 
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ets are Oversize to spare your ears needless distortion. 
And our cabinet is made out of special compressed wood that's denser and heavier than ordinary 
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Of course, not everything that adds to the sound of an HPM-100 also adds to its weight. 

Our supertweeter uses nothing but a piece of High Polymer Molecular film to produce incredibly 
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eyre ordinarily used to 
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32 


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Please send me LeRoy Neiman book(s) to read and enjoy for two 
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O Please charge to my bib] 
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to Donizeti—nor even to The Who's 
Tommy. 
rock song cycle or a rock oratoi 
an oper 

Whatever one calls it, it is a very 
ambitious undertaking, following the 1 


ol actress Eva Duarte from her lower-cl 
background through a of bed- 


hopping to her mar a Perón, 
soon to become Argentina's military dic- 
tator. When she dies be- 


loved descamisados (shirtless ones) give 


her adoration befitting а saint. 
The story and acter admittedly 
have int с potential— 


nor the ly 
ely, realize. "The lyrics, in fact, 


words of Exita to her beauty cons 
1 come from the people 
They need to adore me 
So Christian Dior me. 
Ws vital you sell me 
So Machiavell me. 
Oh, well, 
mention 
least enshr i E dubi- 
ous art form as Tommy, the pinball 
messiah, and Jesus Christ, the supersta 
himself. It’s à start. Are you running 
with us, Ev 


. 

Willie Nelson, the Texas hell raiser, 
singing his outlaw country songs in a 
wide-open roadhouse in font of an audi 
ence of рсету, dopesodden rednecks and 
bikers who are leering horrifically at scat- 
groups of terified. hippies. TI 
his image: the man who brought long h 
and cocaine to the red, white and blue 
Baptist world of country music. So now 
Willie has a new album called The Trouble- 
meker (Columbia), with his own hirsute 
face bathed in a lurid red light on the 
cover. И you have only heard about. Willie 
and havent heard. his music, the list of 
titles on the record might come as a bit of 
a shock. He opens with Uncloudy Days 
ad follows that with When the Roll Is 
Called Up Yonder. The B side features 
In the Garden, Where the Soul Never 
Dies, Sweet Bye and Bye and Shall We 
Gather at the Fi 
What's a 


is how appe: 
y is. In the hands 
this stult would make 
But Willie has such a sweet, 
fected way with a song that he could 
sing anything and get you to believe it. 
Madalyn Murray O' Hair would like this 


SHORT CUTS 

John Austin Paycheck / 11 Months and 29 
Doys (Epic): Soulful count nd-western 
music by one of Nashville's baddest ole 
boys (a graduate of the George Jones 
band). 

The Bar-Kays / Too Hot to Stop (Mercury): 
The first version of this group died with 
Otis Redding; the second, with Stax 
Records—but they're һа ind cookin’. 


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TELEVISION 


he 12-hour TV 

adaptation of 
Roots, Alex Haley's 
epic “genealogical 
detective story" 
(excerpted in 
PLAYBOY's Octo- 
ber d dis- 
cussed by its 
author in the Jan- 
wary Playboy In- 
terview) detailing 
seven generations 
of his black 
cestry, will begin 
on the ABC tele 


vision network 
with a two-hour 
premiere. (9-11 


, EST.) Sun- 
y January 93, 
in the first in- 
stallment of 


Raves for Roots. 


has Cicely "Tyson, 
Moses Gunn, 
halmus Rasulala 
nd O. J. Simpson 
a minor role 
a neighboring 
tribesman) for 
support in his 
promising profes- 
sional debut. To 
tell all the story, 
of course, the 
book itself is in- 
comparable. Roots 
on television—a 
$6,000,000 pro- 
duction with a 
galaxy of cele- 
brated) performers 
waiting in the 
wings for Haley's 
monumental his- 
tory to catch up 
with them—mere- 


marathon expo- 

sure unprecedent- я ly adds another 
ed in ele "Roots should be dimension and 
history: For cight both a cultural brings some 
consecutive nights, landmark and a of gen i 
viewing audiences tion to a medium 


will, ABC hope 


be riveted to their 
sets to follow the 
adventures of 
Haley's 


forebears, which will be pre- 
! one- and two-hour segments 
wing time: 12 hours) conclu 


January 30, 1£ subsequent episodes provi 
equal to the eloquent and absorbing 


opener previewed for critics, Roots should 
be home free both as а cultural landmark 
nd as a prime-time hit, Emmy-winning 
director David (Rich Man, Poor Man) 
Greene, with a script by William Blinn 
and Ernest Kingy, sets a high stand- 
rd for several directors to follow in 
depiction of the boyhood of Haley's 


progenitor, Kunta Kinte—born in the 
Gambia in 1750, captured by slave trad- 
crs and placed in chains aboard a ship 
bound for Annapolis in 1767. The idyllic, 


folkways that shape the 


rite that 
from the 
atic juxta- 


па circu 


ard Asner) who has 


some ms about the buying 
and selling of human beings, even blacks. 
Kunta Kinte is still at sea at the agoniz- 


1g conclusion of part one, by which time 
udiences are apt to be thoroughly 
hooked on his virile innocence, pride 
and passion as portrayed by 19-ycarold 
LeVar Burton, a USC theater major who 


prime-time hit.” 


for 
home-grown Am 
ican classics. 
. 

Going ino йз final season as the most 
elegant, instructive soap opcra in tele- 
ision history, Upstairs, Downstairs resumes 
over PBS on Sunday, January 16, with the 
first of 16 segments designed for a new 
" of accolades. Some 300,000,000 
avid viewers in 30 countries will rush 
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34 


ADVENTURES 


weekend of downhill skiing 
A m these athletic. times 
m s of queuing 
up. Some of the more fashionable 
resorts. feature lines longer. and 
slower than those at a supermar- 
ket check-out on. Saturday. Those 
crowds, and the cost of lift tickets, 
are helping to fuel a boom in 
cross-country skiing. Cross-country 
skiers don't need carefully 
groomed slopes; in a pinch, they 
can do without slopes altogether. 

If you've a mind to tackle the 
sport. skis. poles and boots are 
the only equipment you need, 
nd you сап buy the whole pack- 
e for less than 5100. Even more 
cheaply. you rent your gear. 
Most. cities are anywhere 


several hou 


that 
near snow have shops that will 


reni equipment and many such 
places will throw free lesson 
to help beginners get off on the 
right ski, Pack a big cold-weather 
lunch, snap on the skis and you've 
got а beautiful way to spend а 
crisp winter day. A lot of those 
state and county parks near your 
. awash with people in the 
‚ are delightfully empty in 
wintertime. And the snow even 


way 0 travel. since it requires 
almost no skill. If you can walk. 
you can walk on webbed feer. You 
сап even slide down steep slope 
Hunker down and grab on to the 
back of the shoes, and off you go. 

But driving the dogs was a 
childhood fantasy realized. We 
traveled with two twoman sleds. 
cach pulled by five de 
of the group kept up on skis. A 
good dog team cam pull more 
than its own weight through soft 
snow all day. Those dogs were 
not like family pets. Their rela 
tionship to humans was based e 
mutual dependence rather than on 
affection. They liked to have their 
scratched, but they slept 
па their 


Fhe rest 


cars 
curled up in the snow 
world centered more on il 
dogs in the team tha 
people who were driving. 
could follow a trail. withou 
help. from the sled driver 
rt enough to pi 
ed looks when 


into а wee, 
Skiing and driv 


covers up the litter 
But if that isn’t enough, if you 
would really like to drive into 


winter, how about a week-long 
expedition ldemess of 
Minnesota's у Waters 


Canoe Area? How about gliding 

over the surface of a frozen lake 
hanging ошо the back of a dog 

sled? How about sleeping in three feet of 
snow? 

Irs all possible, even if all you know 
about snow is that it makes the roads 
slippery. A partnership called Lynx 
Tr 1 such trips out of Ely. 
The basic onc- 
int novices 
wilderness 
avel: they'll teach you how to get 
around on snowshoes and croscoi 
skis, how to drive a te ictious sled 
dogs. how to navigate with map and com- 
pass and generally how to move with 
some assurance and comfort in the г; 
hostile conditions of a Northern winte 

1 took the one-week trip last March, 
of a group of nine travelers: the two 
ix Track partners and seven of us who 
went for the fun of it. The first week in 
March is still winter in northern. Minne- 
It snowed at least а little on five of 
seven days. 

We spent our first three days in a base 
ip at a place appropriately named 
Camp Lake, One morning, we wei 

onto the lake to get a thorough les 


uns severa 
cach winter, 


зо! 


ou 


“Cross-country skiers don't need 


carefully groomed slopes; in a pinch, 
they can do without slopes altogether.” 


one of the partners. 
Nordic skis tend to be 
| the downhill 
or Alpine variety, but the major difference 
between the two types is the binding. Oi 

inc skis, your whole foot is held tightly 
st the ski, while on Nordic skis, only 
toes d down. The cross 
ide is rather like a 
kes it possible to 
lift your heel off the ski as you complete 
each stride, Ski poles are used alternately 
to provide a ие extra push. 

Every sport has its arcana, and in cross: 
country skiing, the secrets all have to do 
with wax, A thin layer of wax on the bot 
toms of the skis provides the traction th 
allows cross-country skiers to stride uphi 
s well as down, Waxes are specially for 
mulated to fit different snow conditions: 
powdery, slushy, icy or whatever, Com 
petitors in crosso ski races ofie 
mix their own waxes, using formu 
closely guarded as the recipe for Coca-Cola 

We also learned to tromp through the 
snowdrifts on snowshoes—my own favorite 


Cross-country or 


your 
cou 


"y 


e activities that. generate а lot 
of heat. After а day or so. we 
М 10 тер 


duce our supe 
high-ciloric diet with enough fat 
n it то coat the arteries of hall 
the count 
it your w: 
a trip like this is a dr 

lose weight on 5000 calories 
Bathing is not a major concern on 
winter expedition. Buried under severa 
stata of clothing. our bodies n 
smelled bad. but who could tell? We did 
manage to take one sau akeshift 
sweat lodge that I w 
burst into flames at any 
is supposed to be followed by 


would 


no the icy waters of the la 
ged in by cer 
peoples t0 make the rest of 


seem pleasant. We passed on th 

The trip was а real adventur 
at a world truly dillerent from my usual 
wybody who 
regularly, for example, could 
without becoming exhausted. 
Lynx Track supplies everything you need 


except clothes and a sleeping bag. If 
your bag t warm enough. it will 
supply a second. one. Cost of the seven 
day wip is 5175; the nine-day expedition 


runs Ш trips ds 
tilable from Lyns Tr 5 Eu 
reka Road, Excelsior. Minnesota 55331 


— JERRY SULLIVAN 


? ж, 


ТЫ 
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36 


SELECTED SHORTS 


insights and outcries on matters large and small 


THE 
DOOMSDAY 
ARMY 


By Michael Ledeen 


MOST P look at terrorism the way 
our ancestors looked at violent acts of 
nature. "Terrorist acts such as airport mas- 
bombs planted on airplanes or i 
nks, opponents shot down in the streets 
xd government represe 

and flown from one end of the woi 
the other are viewed as a savage retribu 
tion by forces beyond our control. Terror- 
been romanticized and 
like the gods of Olympus 
ers ol carefully 
planned and financed attempts to disrupt 
our society and overthrow our govern- 
ments, Yet there is an impressive body of 
evidence that suggests that there is a 
doomsday army at work that is financed 
by a handful of governments dedicated to 
bringing the West to its knees, with a 
vision of a future order centered on the 
re-establishment of Islam as the dominant 
world force. 


ту old, а product of Moscow's Lu- 
mumba University and said to be an im- 
portant link between Ai 
Japanese and South Ameri 
though he was known to Ei 
terrorist. police as early 
the Jackal" received widespread. atten- 
tion in June 1975, when he murdered two 
French counterespionage policemen and 
а purported Libyan double agent, who 
had gone to Carlos’ Left 
ment to arrest him. С: 
front-page headlines in December of that 
year, when he was credited with organi 
ing the spectacular raid on the Vienna 
headquarters of the Organization of Pe- 
troleum Exporting Countries, resulting in 
the kidnaping of the OPEC oil ministers 
and the dramatic flight to the Middle 
st, Hardly a week passes without some 
wire service's reporting Carlos’ presumed 
presence in a European capital, re 
new exploits of derring-do. 


ab, European, 
groups. Al- 


s and Berlin), hardly a 
tion has noted what is perhaps the 
nificant element in the OPEC 
ion with at lc; 
tives of 


most 
id: its careful соот, 


three Arab countries. Represen 


idical Arm of the Arab Revolution, 
g with members of the Iragi and 
Algerian governments, flew to Tripoli 
48 hours before the OPEC action, ap- 
unfolding of the 
n an hour of the 
adio stations of Liby 
c wansmitting de 
counts of the undertaking. It is no 
accident that shortly after the termi, 
of the escapade, С 
Libya (where he is 


both Tripoli and Baghdad before di 
appearing once again into his under- 
ground network. 

It is not hard to explain why these 
countries should participate in the OPEC 


seek то discomfit the United ates, 


te a common front for the elim- 
cl. However, they are also 
religious coun 
pose commun uad 
grounds. Many have wondered 
Libya's Colonel 
turned to self-proclaimed “radical t 
rorists" from Venezuela and Germany to 
carry out the project. There seems to 
be no lack of Arab guerrillas disposed 


why 
mmar el Qaddafi 


to undertake such ventures. Is there some 
more subtle connection between inter- 
national terror d Islamic powers in 
the Middle East? 

Wellinformed observers in western 
Europe have long known that vast sums 


of money move from North Africa to 
European tenorist groups. This cash 


flow is fascinating, because it goes to 
groups of both the extreme left and the 
far right "The “fascist international 
(Ordre Nouveau in France, the group 
around Das Neue Europa i 
Ordine Nuovo in haly and others) has 
been a frequent recipient of funds that 
Qaddafi shipped from Tripoli to Swiss 
money is also said to be be- 
hind the small “Nazi-Maoist” group Lotta 
del popolo in Rome, as well as the 
inian separatist movement, the alian 
chist moveme elements of the 


LR.A. in Northern Ireland and the Scot- 
tish Separatists. Finally, the London 
Telegraph reported last winter that Qad- 
Чай 1 endowed а war chest of over 
5200.000,000 "to promote Communi: 
terests in the Mediterr " and 
that the Italian Commu: arty had re- 
ceived nearly $100,000,000 of this fund 
“under cover of the big commercial firms 
exploiting. Liby reserves,” (There 
re many who are convinced that the 


multinational 


petroleum firms often 
serve as conduits for covert funds from 
Western intelligence agencies as well as 
Libyan money.) 


gle source finances 
terrorists of all ideological hues shows 
unifying vision behind the 
y diverse actions of unrelated 
groups. Qaddafi views himself as а proph- 
et of Islam, а Mahdi destined to lead his 
people in a triumphant jihad against a 
decident West sapped of its will and 
creativity. 

We can therefore expect а сот 
tion of terrorism, particularly of the 
spectacular sort that Carlos the Jackal mas- 
terminded These 
two purposes: They hasten the dissolu- 


n of the fabric of Western society and 
they enhance Qudd as a 
shaper of world events, particularly among 


his own people. This is t 
i where prestige 
1 to а leader's suc- 


bly impor- 


s why Sadat saved Qad- 
planned coup last August. 
You are so 


enemics.”) But the prime 
motive remains the overriding goal of gen- 
ing chaos and confusion in the West, 
ening the day of the triumph 
. We are faced with the great 


shown little in- 

terrorists and 
little recognition of the seriousness of the 
phenomenon (it is significant that only 
democratic governments vote for anti- 
terrorist measures in the United Nations, 
however). It may well be that effective 
action against terrorism would redi 
our own freedom, aud few are prep: 
for such a sacrifice these days. But C: 
the Jackal travels unmolested through the 
Weit, with lots of money and many pow- 
erful friends, 


Michael Ledeen is a journalist, a his 
torian and the Rome correspondent for 
The New Republic. 


WHAI 
ME CRY? 


By Brian Vachon 


MIDWAY THROUGH my freshman year of 
college, I received a “Dear John" let- 
ter from а young woman whom 1 pro- 
fesscd to love demonstrably more than 
my own life. It was quite a lewer. Her 
words—written with superb spareness— 


hurt me more than I had ever been 
hurt before. And so I reacted to the hurt 
in a way in which 1 think many men- 
bers of my gender react when faced with 
a situation of inconsolable grief. I walked 
down to my dormitory bathroom and 
vomited in the sink. 

I didn't cry. Looking back on it, the 
fact that I didn't cry isn’t nearly as per- 
plexing to me as the fact thar it never 
even occurred to me to cry. That simply 
wasn't a response in my emo 
. Here was a young woman, the cen- 
ter of my barely postadolescent universe, 
telling me not only that 1 wasn’t the 
center of hers but that she didn't particu- 
larly care to see my [ace again. And I 
didn't ary. 


to do with а kind of 
selective discrimination to which only 
American males are subjected, and I 
think it’s a harmful onc. Until very re- 
cently, in some places, we men weren't 
supposed to cry—ever. I don’t recall the 
first time I ever did, but I imagine it was 
when I was introduced into the world 
and asked by the doctor to offer proof 
that 1 could make noise. Since then, I do 
remember expressions that were part of 
the lexicon of my youth. "Little. men 
don't cry.” "He's crying like a baby." “Go 
home to Mommy, crybaby." I got taught 
усгу young and very well that crying 
was not an acceptable behavioral outlet. 
Girls could do it and it OK. Women 
could do it and it was very OK. "Oh, 
please stop crying. I'll do anything you 
id men, it was out. 
arned how to throw up when I 
had some grief I had to let out or some 
feelings I had to express. I 
the coughin 1 choking responses— 
other inadequate substitutes for tears. 
But the world went along without ever 
seeing me ery. And I think by the time I 
was 20, I didn’t even know how anymore, 

I didn't cry when someone told me my 
mother had taken her own life or, years 
later, when my father passed aw 
ШК ней I was told that 1 
her of the u 


thay une re аво Liege датан! 
because of physical pain. I didn't ery in 


despair over the end of my first marriage 
or in joy at the beginning of my second. 

But finally, $4 years from heaven, I 
have learned to allow myself an oc 
sional teary jag. I think other men are 
lowing themselves that peculiarly re- 
freshing and healthy emotional outlet, 
too, but we all probably don't do it often 
enough or at the right times. 

1 recently attended a memorial service 
for a young minister who had fought his 
own battles with the forces of mental 


illness and lost. I didn't know the man my- 
self, but I sang in the choir of the church 
where he had preached for several years. 
It was not a service designed to ma: 
in stif upper lips. 1 know that I was 
choking back tears, trying to keep from 
showing sadness over the death of some- 
one I had never met. As I looked around 
the choir loft—filled with people who 
had known the man—I saw my own re- 
action mirrored. Men were tight and 
. Women were weeping, The di: 
crimination is still with us. 

But not entirely. The evening after the 
service, I watched The Sound of Music 
on television and found myself moist й 
the eyes a half-dozen times. Schmaltz 
makes me cry. I've seen it а dozen times, 
bur if 1 were to sec the scene again today 
where Patty Duke, playing Hclen Кейс 
kes the connection between water and 
nguage in the movie The Miracle 
Worker, 1 would absolutely dissolve. 

Certain music makes me weep, and—I'm 


forced to admit—not particularly ou 
ng music. Almost anything Melanie 
gs chokes me up, but especially when 


she says, on one album recorded live, 
“There's nothing nicer than to sing an 
unnecessary peace song" Her voice 
breaks a little on that sentence and I rou- 
tinely break. A cat I had found on the 
strcet, apparently hit by a car, died in an 
animal hospital the night I took him 
there. The vet called me the n day, 
and I spent the morning weepi 

But big thin 
haven't le; ned how, or learned how to 
permit myself. There are still too many 
barriers. Edmund Muskie cried in public 
because someone had slandered 
id suddenly he went from lead- 
ing candidate to noncandidate. "Would 
you want somcone who burst into t 
in public to occupy the White House? 
people were asl Well. yes, frankly. I 
would, But we're not quite allowed to 
say that yet. 

Men still aren't really permitted the 
luxury that women have been accorded 
throughout the ages. Crying is still asso- 
ciated with weakness and, whether we like 
it or not, only women are allowed to 
be weak our society. But I think 
we're working on changing that, those of 
us who know the benefits of a good burst 
of tears. And maybe someday someone 
can walk up to a man and say, "You cry 
just like a baby.” And the man will re- 
spond, “Why, thank you. That's v 
kind of you.” Someday, maybe. 


Brian Vachon is a free-lance writer 
and editor of Vermont Life. 


37 


TRZ THE SHAPE OF THINGS ТО COME 
ATA PRICE YOU CAN AFFORD TODAY 


Q Besides an attractive price, 
there are other compelling 
reasons for owning a TR7. For example: 
Consider its performance. TR7 won 
the Sports Саг Club of America's North- 
east Divisional Championship. An almost- 
unheard-of feat after only a few months 
of competition. And racing against such 
veterans as Lotus, Datsun and Porsche. 


"Suggested 1976 retail price P.O.E. Transportation, local taxes, and preparation charges extra. 


Consider its comfort. TR7 offers 
something most sports cars don't: Room. 
The cockpit is wider than the Corvette's 
or the Z-car's. And, since fabric doesn't 
retain heat or cold like vinyl, its seats are 
covered with fabric where you sit and 
vinyl where you don't. Motor Trend sin- 
gled it out as: "One of the most comfort- 
able two-seaters we've experienced.” 

Consider what you get. Two-liter 
overhead cam engine. Rack and pinion 


steering. Vacuum-assisted front disc 
brakes. Rear window defogger. MacPherson 
strut front suspension. Steel belted 
radial tires and full instrumentation. 

TR7. At $4,995; how can you afford 
not to own it. For the name of your 
nearest Triumph dealer call 800-447-4700. 


In Illinois call 800-322-4400. 


^ 


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- w 
Jersey 07605: c Of 

у» 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


AS . freshman coed, I had ап 
fair with an older man who ini 
ted me in the wonders of se 
1 learned many ways of giving and 
receiving pleasure amd consider 


myself fortunate to have had 
such a kind instructor. How- 
ever, now, two yes 


dating somcone my own age 


What should I do the first time we 
make love? I am afraid that if I 
make use of any of the things I 
learned. from my first lover, my part- 
ner will think that I am (00 experi- 
enced and will be turned off instead of 
turned on. I want to please him, but how 
forward should I be the first time?-—Miss 
н. O., Northfield, Massachusetts. 

A sage once revealed the secret of 
the perfect handshake: A person's. grip 
should be only as firm as the one he (or 
she) receives. Too strong and you intimi- 
date the other person. Too limp and you 
embarrass your new acquaintance. The 
same principle applies to sex. Relax; it's 
not à one-shot audition. First nights are 
always tentative, exploratory. Try to 
make it something else and you may not 
make it at all. Besides, you like your 
friend enough so that there will be other 
nights. If you ever feel that a given tech- 
nique needs a footnote, use the line from 
“Three Days of the Condor" when some- 
one vied to explain Robert Redford's 
surprising effectiveness as an operator by 
saying, “He reads a lot.” Since you've 
written lo us, you are no doubt familiar 
with the contents of this column. We are 
perfectly willing to be used as an excuse 
for introducing weirdness into а rela- 
tionship, though we much prefer honest 
communication between partners (your 
boyfriend may also be a reader, so watch 
ош). One тоте piece of advice: We re- 
cently read a study that indicated. some 
60 percent of college students making 
love for the first time neglect to use any 
contraceptive measure—usually because 
they have not expected to end up in bed. 
Since you are the one who will choose the 
lime and the place, make sure you ave 
protected. Birth control ts one indication 
of experience that your boyfriend. will 


Jully appreciate. 
ММ... is the best way to store mari- 
j The stash on my coffee table 
seems 10 go stale fairly rapidly. I have 
been told that keeping pot in an airtight 
container helps preserve the potency of 
the THC; also, that keeping weed in the 
refrigerator or on dry ice is cool. What 
do you вау#—Р. R., San Diego, California. 
Lels start at the bottom: The worst 


possible way 10 store grass is in a plastic 
bag on your coffee table. One, because it 
is in plain sight Jor the officer to see 
when he comes to your door [or the 
barking-dog complaint. (“1 wasn’t bark- 
ing, 1 was just coughing”) Two, because 
THC that is exposed to light decays rap- 
idly. Pharmacologists at the University of 
London tested various ways of preserving 
pot and found that light—not tempera- 
Ture—has the most effect on its potency. 
The airtight jar in the refrigerator is ef- 
fective, not because of the cold but be- 
cause of the dark (assuming, of course, 
that the light really does go off when you 
close the door). Exposure to nir also has 
an effect. The researchers found that fine- 
ly powdered marijuana leaves lose THC 
faster than intact or coarsely broken 
leaves. So, for best results, clean only as 
much as you need. Then smoke in a dark 
room with the curtains closed, with the 
doors locked and with a lawyer present. 


© . пам from New York City, I 
overheard a conversation about sex ac- 
One gentleman said that he had 
finally uncovered the true meaning of Fun 
name the Big Apple—while 
high-class house of erotic delight. 
ich all the details, but it seems 
п subjected to some kind ol 
device th ingérted nio the anus and 
then inflated at the moment of orgasm. 
Could you shed some light on this re- 
portedly ectasy-producing accessory? And 
сап you tell me where 1 can buy one, pro- 
vided 1 still want one after I find out what 
it i?—D. G., Minneapolis, Minnesota. 
Basically, you've got the details down 
ри: The Big Apple is a rubber balloon 
that is inserted. into the orifice of your 


choice (usually anal, his or hers) and 
pumped up by means of a remote- 
control squeeze bulb. Supposedly, 
it heightens the effect of orgasm 
and, used once a day, keeps the 
doctor away. (Fistfucking aficio- 
ados have been known to train 
their muscles with the device.) 
The Big Apple is available from the 
Pleasure Chest, 120 Iih Avenue, 
New York, New York 10011. Bejore 
you buy one, though, you should be 
aware that the device may be hazardous 
to your health, Previous “Playboy Ad- 
visor” warned abont the 
dangers of forcing air into any body cav- 
йу, particularly the vagina. Also, just 
imagine what would happen if the Big 
Apple became disconnected from the 
pump. Your partner would go ricochet- 
ing around the room, propelled by a 
sputtering balloon. 


answers have 


just purchased a cassette 
corder, I am eager to begin taping my 
favorite albums. The friends I've talked 
to have suggested various techniques, but 
the rituals they describe are so complex 
zn acolyte would have trouble mastering 
them. Сап you recommend а few simple 
rules for home recordingi—D. W., San 
rancisco. . 
Swab that deck, хайот. The first order 
of tape recording is cleanliness. Make 
sure your records are dust-free—if not 
squeaky clean. (Use a commercially avail- 
able cleaner.) Every piece of dirt on the 
tape head will result in an imperfection 
on the final product. A good supply of 
Q-Tips and rubbing alcohol will suffice: 
Wipe the head before each recording. 
(Then take the Q-Tips and remove the 
wax from your cars.) Use the best tape 
money can buy and let "er roll. 


С. you tell те w 


band who has to g 


at to do with a hi 
t up and wash him- 
self as soon as he climaxes? For five years, 
1 have asked him to stay in bed after mak- 
love. The afterglow ice as the 
foreplay for me. But he simply laughs 
and says, "Later." When he comes back 
to bed, he is dressed in pajamas and 
ready for sleep. He won't even let me 
touch him. I realize that he is ro- 
mantic man, but I could live without the 
words if he would just hold on to 
nce in а while. Any suggesti 
R., Kansas City, Kansas. 
In part, it’s the nature of the beast. 
Masters and Johnson filmed couples who 
fell asleep after intercourse and. discov- 
ered an interesting pattern. The men 
tended to remain in a stationary position, 
while the women tended to try to cuddle 
up to their mates, apparently seeking to 


аз 


39 


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How to use them without disappointment. 


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Second, we guarantee your satisfac 
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Please send me, by first class mail. my copy of the. 
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Our catalogue and products are sent only to adults 
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tam 


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sustain the feeling generated by lovemak- 
ing. However, it also seems clear that 
your husband (and possibly you yourself) 
views sex as a self-contained event. When 
it's over, it's over. Have you considered 
following him into the bathroom—a site 
whose erotic possibilities are often: over- 
looked? Hot water, soap on skin, the feel 
of rough towels add up to a textural treat 
that should not be missed. A second 
round (in a clean setting) might arouse 
your husband's interest and break him of 
a bad habit. Our guess is that his foreplay 
is as abrupt as his afterplay. Often, cow 
ples fall into a routine in which the only 
time they touch cach other is when 
they're in the bedroom. One way to re- 
capture romance is to display affection at 
other times of day—with touches that ате 
not directly connected with sex. Do it 
often enough and he may get the point. 


В kon't know how it happe 
how carefully 1 gauge my ¢ 
time I go to a good party, I 
with severe membrane ошта 
morning. Can you give me 
method of having a good 
getting hung?—J. А. M. 
Massachusetts, 

There is no foolproof procedure, 
because [oolery is half the fun of celebrat- 
ing. Bul there ave some reasonable pre- 
cautions 10 (a Eat food. Not only will 
this help your body absorb the alcohol 
but it's also difficult to chew in a civilized 
manner while holding a glass to your 
mouth. You may want to by drinking 
something you hate, undiluted and with- 
ош ice. Distilled spirits taken neat ave 
often too strong for your body to absorb 
wholly and will pass through with а min- 
imum of damage. If diluted, the full 
amount of the spirits will find its way 
into your blood steam and make you 
feel, the next morning, as if you've been 
downing shots of Lake Erie. Extra re- 
straint is advisable if you're feeling hy- 
per; dowt drink if you're depressed, tired 
or overly elated. Alcohol will heighten 
or compensate for those feelings and 
create an atmosphere тіре for overindul- 
gence. We don't really expect anyone to 
follow our advice. So, for when, after 
partying, you wake up with a head as big 
and as polluted as the great outdoors, we 
offer a hangover vemedy recommended by 
Robert Boyle, a ith Century scientist: 
Take tender green hemlock and put it 
in your socks so that it lies between them 
and the soles of your feet. Change the 
herbs daily.” 


No matter 


à foolproof 
ne and not 
Cambridge, 


©усуста1 of my co-workers were discuss 
ing their sex lives over drinks not long 
apo, when my secretary announced that 
she had found the perlect lover. When 
we asked her how she knew that her 
partner was a perfect. lover, she blurted 


The Playboy Key 
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Get a Playboy Club Key and you'll get Playboy Preferred 
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Key and the Playboy Preferred Passbook for the city 
that you're in. You'll get those Passbooks at the 
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2. The Good Life: It’s Exciting Entertainment. 
Entertainment excitement happens at every 
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And stars on the rise. You'll find entertain- 
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T. The Good Life: It's Getting the Best for Less. 
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It's a toll-free telephone discount shopping 
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And it's built right into your Key. 


3. The Good Life: It's Glamorous Women. 
And who's more glamorous than a Bunny? 
You'll be surrounded by beautiful, pam- 
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You can. And at a discount when 
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You'll be happily surprised by what your 
Playboy Club Key can get you. Good-life 
goodies like the Budget Rent a Car Favored 
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We could tell you more, but what's life with- 
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Get In on the Playboy Good Life Now. 

Order your Key today. It's just $25 for the first year. 

You'll get admission to The Playboy Club and all 
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Send no money. 
We'll bill you later. Or you may charge your Key 
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P.O. Box 9125 
опе is show your Key monthly at | Boulder, Colorado s0301 1 GET QUICK-AS-A-BUNNY 
any North American Playboy Club. Send me my Playboy Club Key! And hop to it. 1 will pay my PHONE-ORDER SERVICE 
Newsstand value? Up to $19.00. | $25 initial Key fee as follows | CUOI EREE 
Charge to my C] in Express: E nkAmericard: )-621-" 
І cs Hy Sorte Blanche: Г! PTT Diners бш 2 Беаты: | 800. 02101116 
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Address Apt | 
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| Sie canadian. You may renew your Key each year tnereatter | 
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currently $15.) 


a 


10 years ago 
yourhair didn't need 
the prot needs 
today to look its best. 


Chances are, your hair looked 
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out, ^He stuck his finger up my ass while 
we were screwing.” Well, for the past few 
weeks, 1 have hid to resist a temptation 


to duplicate that gesture with every wom- 
an I've taken to bed. I feel like Dr. 
Sua 


gelove trying to control his artifi- 
hand as it inches toward thc forbid- 
den target, as though it possessed a will 
of its own. Is anal stimulation the sign 
of the perfect loverz—E. G., Portland, 
Oregon. 

Obviously, it is for your secretary. Un- 
fortunately, what works for one person 
may not work for another, For that mat- 
ter, what works for one peison may not 
work Jor the same person the next tine 
around. There are no guarantees in 
this business; we know because we тип 
the complaint department. The perfect 
lover is the person who pays attention to 
his partner's moods and needs, who finds 
out from that partner. what feels good. 
and then docs ù. If you ave taking that 
secretary 10 bed, by all means give 1 to 
your Strangelove impulse. But watt jor 
ше right moment (ic, not during dicta- 
lion or at a board mecting but later, 
when she's half expecting й. A container 
of Crisco or K-Y jelly lejt on the bedside 
table should give her a hint.) Trim your 
fingernails first. 


Tie bats out, go-for-broke downhill ski 
run that won an Olympic gold medal tor 
Franz Klammer lust winter was one of 
the most incredibly tilling athletic spec- 
tacles I've ever witnessed. While I'm no 
Olympic hopeful, I think a litde competi- 
tion at my own level of ability could add. 
exhilaration and a sense of accomplish- 
ment to my skiing. But where can 1 find 
skiracing compeution at my level (Em а 
strong intermediate skier)?—J. M. New 
York, New York, 

NASTAR (National Standard Race) 
events are open to everyone from snow- 
plowers to superskiers and they're held 
weekly at ski arcas across the country. 
(For the race nearest you, consult the 
December issue of Ski magazine, which 
sponsors NASTAR, or write o NASTAR, 
Box 1580, Aspen, Colorado 81611.) The 
races are held on relatively short, open 
courses and gold, silver and bronze pins 
arc awarded to entrants who come within 
Specified percentages of the area paceset- 
ler's time. Since the pacesetter's ume has 
been adjusted according to his showing 
in an early-season race against someone 
like Jackson Hole's Pepi Steigler, you're 
in effect racing against the lime Steigler 
would have set if he тап this particular 
course on this day: the national standard. 
Whether or not you win a medal, you get 
a card stating your handicap as а per- 
centage of the national pacesetter's Lime. 
The number tells you at a glance how 
your skiing is improving from tace to 


race, and lets you compare your abilities 
with both your friends’ and the top hot- 
shots’. Good luck, or, as they say in snow 
business: Break a leg. 


BVM) gisttviend of a few months has just 
discovered that she has gonorrhea. It has 
en a усаг since she last saw her doctor 

d she had а few partners before find 
Likewise, I led an active social life 
before meeting her—but, to my knowl 
edge, never had symptoms of the diseasc. 
to act civilized about the 
wbiole thing; but itis very hard to avoid 
blaming onc or the other. As we go 
s there some 
МУ, De 


Over the past ten years, gonorrhea has 
increased in this country at а rate four 
times that of the population growth, 
Many cases (especially among women) 
are asymptomatic. The carriers do not 
know that they have the disease until 
their partners discover that they have it. 
Probably the only way to end the prob- 
lem would be to line up every citizen in 
America, blindfold all of them and shoot 
them with antibiotics at the same mo- 
ment. (Ironically, the Government is 
willing to spend millions оп swine-flu 
vaccine but not on social disease. But 
then, maybe politicians are more worried 
about something that can be contracted 
from pigs than from people.) In the 
meantime, it is your duly to help contain 
the epidemic. Women are taught to visit 
their gynecologists regularly. It strikes us 
as odd that men do not receive the same 
common-sense advice. Ask your doctor to 
check for V.D. at your annual. physical 
or make it a point to visit a doctor 
whenever you expand your social circle 
and increase the chance of exposure. The 
routine would certainly help eliminate 
the embarrassment, the accusations and 
the tacky dinner conversations that fol- 
low this kind of episode. This approach 
may be cautious, but consider the alter- 
natives: Cases of venereal complications 
are also on the increase. Doctors report a 
rash of gonorrheal arthritis, gonorrheal 
ophthalmia and partial or complete 
blockage of the Fallopian tubes in wom- 
en. So do it now; the love you save may 
be your own. 


АН reasonable questions—from fashion, 
food and drink, sterco and sports cars 
to dating dilemmas, taste and ctiquette— 
will be personally answered if the writer 
includes a stamped, self-addressed en- 
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages cach month. 


Amazing Grace 


When Grace Slick canceled her reservations on the Jefferson Airplane and booked passage on the 
Jefferson Starship, her switch was at least nominally symbolic of a new musical era for the White 

Rabbit crew. But there have been few changes in the mind of the lead singer. Now, totally spaced and a 
mother besides, Grace still has no inhibitions aside from the Chewy engine in her Aston Martin. Amazing 
Grace brings us all up to date in the current issue of OUI. Some other Sixties holdovers are those FBI 
files on radicals. Robert Wieder, also in the current OUI, tracks his file down — 
with great difficulty—in Nailing Your Files, while Anita Hoffman, Abbie’s better 
half, tells you what's in the folders of the famous. Meanwhile, David Dalton 
attends a charm school for transsexuals to divine the mysteries of feminine 
behavior and ОЈ asks, "Where has everything gone?" in Strange Vanishings, 
an investigation into the disappearance of just about anything. Naturally, 
theres more— B movies, Mexican food, tennis addiction, CIA blunders, cross- 
country skiing and more than a little bare skin. But you have to ask for it 

at your newsstand. That's easy, though. Just say OUI 


PLAYBOY 


‘Enriched Flavor proces 
100mm cigarette with st 


Only MERIT has the ‘Enriched Flavor’ process. A way 
of packing tobacco with extra flavor without the 2 


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MERIT 100%. 

Only 12 mg. tar. 

Yetsmokers actually 
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MERIT 100% as 
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Kings: 9 mg:"tar." 0.7 mg. nicotine— 
100's: 12 mg'"tar;'0.9 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC Method. 


Е h 
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined ПІС е 


That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


s applied to new low tar 
riking success. 


Test Data Conclusive 
New 12 mg. tar MERIT 100’s were taste-tested against 
a number of major 100mm brands ranging from 
17 mg. to 19 mg. rar. 

Thousands of smokers were tested. 
The results: overall, they liked 
the taste of MERIT 100$ as much 
as the higher tar 100mm 

brands tested. 
The taste barrier 
for low tar smoking 


MERIT and MERIT 
^. MENTHOL. King 


© Philip Morris Inc. 1977 


d Flavor 


hasbeen brokenagain. 


Size and new 1005. 


PLAYBOY 


The Lancia Coupe. Superbly designed. Incredibly agile. 
Everything you'd expect in a grand touring car that grew out 
of 70 years of international racing and car building experience. A test drive will 
confirm its high standards of engineering, performance, styling, cornfort. 

Lancia. The intelligent alternative to the average " n 

and the overpriced automobile. 


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46 Lancia Scorpion, HPE Estate Wagon, Coupe, Sedan. Now al your nearest Lancia dealer. Call toll free (800) 447-4700 or in Minois (800) 322-4400. 


THE PLAYBOY SEX POLL 


an informal survey of current sexual attitudes, behavior and insights 


Face it: The time of the tongue has 
arrived. Everyone is giving lip service 10 
oral sex, blowing, kisses 10 its virtues and 
congratulating himself on his prowess in 
this form of lovemaking or the prowess cf 
his partner. Apparently, it is impossible 
to give bad head. Or to receive same. 
When society reaches the point where an 
formed source is known by a code 
gnilying a certain variety of fel- 
latio, you know that this country is on to 
something. Trying to guess the identity of 
Deep Throat might have been the leading 
ame in 1976, but having actually 
clear 


parlo 
experienced. the. technique w 
triumph of one-upmanship 

We were curious: How does oral sex 
gainst the old in-and-out, the 
tried. interaction of genital iu- 
tercourse? We decided to find out, so we 
ked 100 men and 100 women a series 
of intriguing questions about their sex- 
ual preferences. We don’t daim that our 
findings are scientific: We did not con- 
sult a computer to anive at a representa- 
tive cross section of the American public 
did not hook up little black 
boxes 10 obtain a secret Nielsen rating of 
the nitty-gritty. Our method was casual 
and conversational, We talked with any- 
one who would talk with us. We delved 
into the feelings behind the statistics. We 
hope our findings show where the rest of 
us are heading. 


GIVEN HER CHOICE, WOULD 
A WOMAN PREFER TO REACH 
ORGASM THROUGH 
INTERCOURSE OR THROUGH 
ORAL SEX? 

(Asked of 100 men) 
— 


and we 


Sixty-three percent of the men with 
whom we talked believed that wome 


intercourse. 
ay the following . 
“A vaginal orgasm is total, more en- 
compassing. Oral sex is detached.” 
ntercourse is more athletic, more 
physical. A woman can let go with her 
whole body. Its complete and more ex- 
hausting. Oral sex is like Chinese food. 


Your 
It can go on 
seems to satisfy." 

"HM a man and а won 
lace 10 face, they feel close 

“A cock is more beautiful 
tongue. 


tner is always hungry for mor 
forever. But intercourse 


n make love 


Шап а 


. 
Thirty-seven percent of the men 
thought that women preferred 10 reach 


orgasm via oral s 
beliefs, the men n 
lowing observations. 

“The clitoris is the sexual nerve center 
of the woman. You are giving it all of 
tention. All the energy is focused 
t there. You don't waste any on side 
uips. So the woman has something to 
concentrate on, and it’s easier for her to 
get off." 

“Гуе read all the femi 


To support their 
c of the fol- 


de s 


your 


ist literature. 


The only thing women writers seem to 
talk about is clitoral stimulation and 
oral sex. They wouldn't Не, would they?” 

"Cunnilingus is very intense, because 
the man has 10101 control. He can tease, 
he can attack; the woman can't escape.” 

"The unselfishness of the act gets 
women off. They like to sit oi 
It gives them a sense of power 

“By all accounts, intercourse is prob- 
ably the least effective way to bring a 
woman 10 orgasm. Masters and Johnson 
say that during coitus, the (йог re- 
ceives indirect stimulation. During oral 
sex, the stimulation is direc. There's no 
fooling around.” 


WOULD YOU RATHER REACH 
ORGASM THROUGH 
INTERCOURSE OR THROUGH 
ORAL SEX? 

(Asked of 100 women) 


Seventy-four percent. of the women 
preferred to reach orgasm through inter- 
course, Some of their responses: 

“I love the feeling of being pencuat- 
ed. Even during oral sex, 1 want some- 
thing inside me.” 


“My orgasm lasts longer during inter- 
course—it swells and passes through me 
in waves. By comparison, an oralsex or- 


m is just a splash. 
“I like to be domin, 
e me feeling 
ive more of myself.” 

г gives me head, my cito 
m. When he fucks me, my 
whole body has an orgasm." 


ing love 
deed. and tak- 


ssa 


"Oral sex is t00 easy; it doesn't mean 
anything, At least, when а and a 
woman make love, both of them tke 


chances. They meet as equals, face to 
ac. They have to work for th 
pleasure. 


E 
Twentysix percent of the women pre- 
ferred cunnilingus 10 coitus. Some of 
their comments follow. 
“Intercourse is for ma 
sex is for making pleasure 
"Oral sex is exact. The ecstasy is sharp- 
ly defined. I can feel each contraction, as 
though my body were applauding. Inv 
course is more diffuse. With a man inside 


ng love: oral 


47 


PLAYBOY 


48 


Chime) 


AUTOMATIC TAPE SELECTOR 


“© О. 


МАҮВЕ WE SHOULD RAISE THE PRICE. 


Our new top-of-the-line 
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yet it costs less than $3007 
Why do the others cost 
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Beats us. 


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share with the one you love! 


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Size Color — 
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me, it 


arder to feel the contractions. 
imes I don't even know if I've 
g love." 

"When a man makes love to me with 
his tongue and mouth, I know that I'm 
going to come. The only question is how 
often. When I have intercourse, 
never sure if I'm going to get off. There 
are too many variables. The uncertainty 
interferes with my pleasure 

“Ifa partner. performs oral sex on me, 
it means that he loves every part of me, 
that every part of my body is beautiful 
to him. ‘That alone is enough to make 


me come.” 


GIVEN HIS CHOICE, WOULD 
A MAN PREFER TO REACH 
ORGASM THROUGH 
INTERCOURSE OR THROUGH 
ORAL SEX? 

(Asked of 100 women) 


I'm 


Fifty-cight percent of the women with 
whom we talked guessed that guys pre- 
ferred to get off on oral sex, Here are 
some of the typical answers: 

“A man feels more domineering dur- 
ing fellatio. His partner is literally down 
on her knees, paying respect to the one 
thing that makes him a man. It's a 
very powerful feelin 

5 а man's apparatus, Га pre- 
too. It’s more visible Шап 
intercourse. Right out in Пот.” 

"Man js essentially 1 
to just lie there and let ЕА 
all the work. Also, if he doesn't 
worry about her orgasm, he can just soa 

“A man gets off on the feeling of being 
swallowed whole, of being eaten alive. He 
nourishes the woman. 1t must be close to 
what a mother feels when she nurses 
a child." 

"The girl is right on top of things. 
When the guy finally reaches orgasm, 
she knows she can do a lot to accentuate 
i—like dra every drop, milling 
him. The mouth is more talented. than 
the genitals.” 


А 

Forty-two percent of the women 
thought that men preferred to experience 
orgasm during intercourse. They cited 
some of the following reasons. 

Intercourse is penetration, pure and 
simple. The man is inside the woman, 
past her defenses, as far as his anatomy 
can go. It's more of a conquest.” 

“The man feels more in touch with 
his woman during intercourse. He sur- 
rounds himself with her. He is safe, se 


is the basic, biological 


way to engage in sex. It always pays to 


practice the fundamentals, right ө 
"Fucking involves more risk, but if you ivitar ta es 
do it well, more power to you. More pleas- 
ure, 100. ө 
t mumpo-jum 
Q: out of electronic flash 


WOULD YOU RATHER REACH 
ORGASM THROUGH 
INTERCOURSE OR THROUGH 
ORAL SEX? 

(Asked of 100 men) 


ixty-cight percent of the men we 
asked preferred to experience their or- 
gasms while making love. Here are some 
ol their reasons: 


. It encloses me 


d makes me feel at home." 

feeling of deep 
with oral 
to a soul is 
legs. Nothing can beat the 
trating and being right 


Ба (mumbo-jumbo) (flash-flash) 


during fellatio. Their comments follow. This Vivitar 200 automatic electronic Mash for 35mm cameras 
Pede has all sorts of features we could talk about. But the one that’s most 
BL nportant to you is the fact that it’s automatic. 
чи ес anywhere amer You don’t have to be an Einstein to figure out correct fash expo- 
booths, movie the: Ы К T 
very spontancou sures. You set your Г stop once. Then regardless of how many times 
“H Fm not involved with a woman, you move closer or farther away from the subject, a built-in sensor 
J prefer oral se: gives you perfect exposure from 2 to 10 feet 
The Vivitar 200 will give you up to two 
hundred flashes from one 9V alkaline 
battery and thousands of flashes from the 
built-in tube. No more fussing with hot, hit- 


ms 


: You can 
пе. Telephone 
I's 


extolling the re 


uds of speaking in 


tong the m: of men and |  Or-missflashbulbs. 

women still regard intercourse as their The flash in this unit is color corrected. 
personal path to pleasure. The men | You'll get beautiful natural color in your 
correctly guessed that genitalto-genital slides and color pictures. Expensive? No. 
stimulation is the preferred activity of | Vivitar automatics start under $25. Ask 


women. Oddly, the I nconecily as- 
sumed that men favor fellatio. Perhaps 
they were unduly swayed by the media 
coverage ol Deep Throat, We 
cove 


ч ° е 
ho dis- 
id Hat Ше ladies ward unocrodn VI ar 
about their own tastes. Many of our sub- e 


your Vivitar dealer for a demonstration. 


jects were е scd to t that— Marketed in the USA by Ponder &Best Inc. 
з fem- i ies Corporate Offices. 1630 Stewort St. Santa Monico, CA 90406 
гу to the fem-fib position that direct 1а Conoda- Precision Cameros of Солобо, ttd. Montreal 


stimu 


n is 


perior—th 
\ 
of 


S AT 
love- 
ity of the part- 5 x 


ners. Women do not feel exploited by 
intercourse. As one person put it, “I don't 
know ‘liberated sex,’ but I know what 220/SL 


Ilik —— HOWARD SMITH AND 
BRIAN VAN DER HORST 


49 


md 


(ais SMIRNOFF 


V^ WII f 


The Smokey Mary 


We never dreamed when we first 
launched the Smirnoff Bloody Mary 
it would become a global classic. 

That doesn't mean, however, that 
most folks know how to make a 
really good one, or even care to bother. 

One fellow we know “cops out; as 
he says, with the Smokey Mary. 
“To put the bite in, | just add red 
barbecue sauce" A capital idea, for 
those who hate to fuss. 

If you should become a Smokey Mary 


enthusiast, do pace your drinks. 
Try to remember that where there's 
smoke, there's fire. 

To make a Smokey Mary pour 
1v? ounces of Smirnoff intoa 
g with ice and fill with tomato 
juice. Add about a tablespoon of 
barbecue sauce to laste, a squeeze 
of lemon, and stir. 


Smimoff 


leaves you breath 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


a continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers 


IN-LAW INCEST 

1 was married at 16 to a guy of 20. 
Things got bad and after four years, we 
divorced. I started partying seven days а 


week and within three months, I had 
been to bed with over 30 men. One 
night, I ran into my former father-in-law, 


who had been divorced for three years. 
We had a couple of dates but no sex. I 
ured that with him 54 and me 20, he 
would be a Iousy fuck. How wrong I was! 
We finally did go to bed and he w 
dynamite. Now we are m nd, 
despite the age difference, we share every- 
thing and we're always on the go, enjoy- 
ing hobbies and sports, smoking dope 
nd making love. Every woman should 
only have it as good as I do. 

(Name withheld by request) 

Cleveland, Ohio 


THE FAMILY BIBLE 
Tve been following with interest the 


discussion in The Playboy Forum of sex 
relations between close relatives by blood. 
or m age. As a student of the Bible, 
I've noticed instances in which incest is 
seemingly accepted by God. Lot's wife is 
turned into a pillar of salt, and then Lot 
nd his two daughters go off into the 
wilderness, where the daughters get Lot 
drunk, go to bed with him and have sons. 
No punishment at all. Abra 
also his ister. 

On the other hand, the man who wrote 
the laws against incest in Leviticus is the 
same person who said that we should 
s and that women are un- 
menstrual period. 
Moses Du 
Faston, Mary 

Don't forget what happened to Onan— 
he was struck dead for not screwing his 
sister-in-law. 


REMEDIES FOR RAPE 
According to a letter in the September 
Playboy Forum, columnist Charles. Mc- 
Cabe thinks rapists would be more likely 
to be pu ictims reported 
rapes as instances af indecent exposure. 
H this is intended to be funny, it isn't. It 
just points up the fact that rape is the 
one crime where the burden of se 
that justice is done rests more on the vic- 
a than on the police and the courts. 
Karin Т 
Kankakee, Illinois 


FLORIDA FIG LEAF 

It’s inconceivable to me that a state 
court could cite a piece of rel 
ing to support a decis 


the First Amendment gi that 
there would be no officially established. 
church in the U.S. But the Florida 
Supreme Court cited a passage from 
Genesis in support of its decision uphold- 
g the conviction of two young women 
for sun-bathing without their bikini tops 
[see this month’s Forum Newsfront]. ‘The 
citing of religious Scripture in support of 
a court decision is in conflict with the 
letter and spirit of the First Amendme: 
(Name withheld by request) 
Pensacola, Florida 


“I dig spending time 
looking, touching, tasting, 
smelling a woman's body 

from head to toe.” 


CHECKMATE 

Although I agree with 5. Hoffman's 
criticism of rLAvmoY's coinage of the 
ng (The Playboy Forum, 
n't go along with his en- 
ematize as an alternative. Why com- 
plicatize a simple formation? Enemate is 
much more logical. Consider defecate, 
evacuate, fornicate, masturbate, ejaculate, 
lubricate—all of which indicate enemate. 

im 


word enemi; 
September), T 


homas 
е Oswego, Oregon 


HUNG UP ON ORGASM 
I reach orgasm with 
frequently and more quickly than whe 
Т have intercourse with men. However 
orgasm induced that way le still 
frustrated, while intercourse (even with- 
out orgasm) docs not. Men tend to believe 
woman must achieve climax to be 
Actually, the touch 
crest involved i 
a man far outweigh the pleasure of 
vibrator. I have been with men the 
thought of whom could thrill me for days 
afterward, even though I did 
I wish men would realize thi: 
so hung up on “Did you come? 
(Name withheld by request) 

Indio, California 


nd not be 


TIME MACHINE 
hi 


ive no trouble meeting women and 
ing them to bed, but many of them 
compl. that 1 take too long to n 
love. I don't fuck or ball, I make 
love, soft love, rl love, with 
I dig spending time looking, touchin 
tasi s body from 


smelling a wom: 


head to toe. I'm su d at being crit 
cized, because I always thought women 
wanted men to time in lovemaking. 


am wondering if I should change my 
ide: 


thheld by request) 
acisco, Califo 


CONDOM CONUNDRUMS 
The lener in he Nove 
Forum from the Brookly 
his condom inside a girl reminds me of 
similar incident that changed my li 
One night, on a lonely dirt road in Ohio, 
when my wile thought 1 was bowling, 
gir] was straddling me as 1 sat om the 


ber. Playboy 
guy who lost 


passenger side of the front scat of my 
Ford. 1 had. just come when a car swang 
around а sh: up the road. The 


girl raised ир 


nd I slid quickly over be- 
hind the stecring wheel, Alter the car had 
pissed with a jeer and а horn toot, I 
discovered that I was no longer wearing 
my rubber. 

We looked everywhere: on the seat, on 
which 1 didn't notice a wet spot where 
the girl had sat alter T slid out from 
under her; under the scat; in our cloth 
even with a flashlight on the ground ош- 
ad stood to put our clothe 
- No rubber. Mystified and wor- 
1.1 dropped her off and went home. 

The next morning, when my wife and 
I went to the car to go to the grocery 
store, T nearly had a cardiac arrest when 
my wile pointed to the spot on the seat, 


51 


PLAYBOY 


52 


now a pale blotch about the size of my 


I managed a weak "I don't know. I 
guess some ice cream must have leaked 
1 package in the groceries last 


She snarled, "I wasn't born yesterday. 
‘That's pecker track: 

So I moved out of the house and my 
wife eventually divorced me. 

What happened to the rubber? It fell 
out when the young lady went to tinkle, 
The moral: Rubber or no rubber, don't 
overlook them pecker tracks. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Fort Myers, Florida 


The letter from the man in. Steuben- 
ville, Ohio, about finding a rubber in the 
band of his newly purchased Stetson (The 
Playboy Forum, November) struck а fa- 
miliar note. My husband is serving with 
id we shop regularly in 
hange. Not long ago. 
ng for a new jacket for 


we were lod 
him. He found one he liked and then 


discovered that there box of rub- 
bers in each pocket. We both giggled. 
How they got there, we'll never know. 
We put them back into the pockets, took 
the jacket to the cashier and donned 
ht faces. The cashier took our mon- 
wrapped the jacket and muttered, 
Thank you." Outside, we laughed and 
laughed, having put one over on the 
and gotten two free boxes of Juliu 
Schmid's best. As it happens. my husband 
doesn’t wear rubbers, so we threw a party 
and used them for balloons, 

(Name withheld by request) 

Waukegan, Illinois 


stra 


UNSEXY SMELL 

When 1 read the letter in the Novem- 
ber Playboy Forum suggesting good-tast 
ing va ad jellies, I began to 


oped. When my man 
to put on a condom, it’s bad 
hour the turnoff of that me- 


Incidentally n 
when the boys at high school turned 16, 
they often received a package of Troj: 
from their buddies as a local ritual. One 
of my young boyfriends wasn't so for- 
tunate, So I good-naturedly offered 10 
foot the bill when we stopped off at the 
local drugstore to buy some rubbers be- 
fore celebrating his birthday. “No 
thanks,” he grinned. "This one will be 
my rear 


(Name withheld by request) 
Chicago, Ilinois 


BIGGER IS BETTER 

My observation is that women prefer 
men with large penises, 
m 


whatever. they 
y say to the contrary. The woman feels 
erior because she doesn't have a penis 
id wants опе, The subconscious mean- 
of the sex act, for a woman, is her 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas 


DIRTY WORDS 

CEDAR LAKE, INDIANA—School-board 
officials have removed dictionaries from 
а local high school after parents com- 
plained of too many spicy definitions. 
According to the school superintendent, 
“The American Heritage Collegiate 
Dictionary” contains “maybe 70 or 80 
words" that some parents think are ob- 
scene or otherwise inappropriate. Some 
are common expletives and colloquial- 
isms for body parts and functions. 
Others are. definitions based on word 


usage. One of the definitions of the 
word bed is “a place for lovemaking” 
and the word bang includes the defini- 
tion “to have intercourse with [a 
woman]" One schooLboard member 
explained, “We're not a bunch. of 
weirdo book burners out there, but we 
think this one goes 100 far.” An execu: 
tive of the publishing company ex- 
plained, “They obviously bought our 
college edition by mistake. 


UNCONSTITUTIONAL CUSTOMS 

NEW vonk—The procedure used by 
Customs authorities to stop the importa- 
tion. of allegedly obse material has 
been declared unconstitutional by а 
Fedeval judge. Customs agents in New 
York intercepted a magazine sent from 
Germany to a photographer in Pennsyl. 
vania and then advised the addressee 
that his mail had been opened, inspect 
ed and potentially condemned as ob- 
scene. The photographer contested the 
action in court, and U. S. District Judge 
Marvin E. Frankel decided that while 
Customs agents might know {rom ex- 
perience what packages to suspect of 
containing pornography. they do not 
know that the material is obscene by 
the prevailing community standards of 


the addressee, and the seizure was there- 
fore unconstitutional. 


ABORTION RULINGS 

A Federal judge in Brooklyn has 
overturned а law that would have 
banned Medicaid payments for elective 
abortions. Although abortion foes had 
managed to amend the appropriation 
bill jor the Department of Health, 
Fducation and Welfare to vestrict abor- 
tion payments, U.S. District Judge 
John Dooling, Jr., found that women 
"who have the means to pay for medical 
services are free by virtue of our posi- 
tive law to exercise their constitutional 
vight to terminate their pregnancies, but 
the needy, the wards of government, 
would by this enactment be denied the 
means to exercise their constitutional 
right.” The decision has the force of law 
in all 50 states unless it is overturned 
on appeal. 

In New Orleans, a U. S. district court 
has ruled that doctors and patients in- 
volved in abortions may not be pros- 
ecuted for murder under a new state 
law that defines when human life be- 
gins. The law, approved by the state 
legislature last July, grants the fetus 
legal rights as a "human being from the 
moment of fertilization and implanta- 
tion.” The district court found this to 
be in conflict with U. S. Supreme Court 
rulings on abortion. 


RELIGIOUS RESTITUTION 

VATICAN cITY—A group calling itself 
United World Atheists is demanding that 
the Catholic Church pay $100,000,000 
in “retribution” for alleged atrocities 
committed by the Church against athe- 
ists over the past 20 centuries. The de 
mand reportedly was delivered to th 
Vatican Secretarial for Non-Belicvers by 
Madalyn Murray O'Hair, who led the 
fight to ban prayers in U.S. public 
schools. A Vatican official called the 
demand absurd. 


SODOMY LAW UPHELD 

WASHINGTON, b.C— The District of 
Columbia Court of Appeals has upheld 
the constitutionality of the District. of 
Columbia sodomy law. The court re- 
jected arguments that the law has its 
origins in religious. doctrine and dis. 
criminates against homosexuals, and 
the judges declined. to address the 
issue of whether or not the law ap- 
plies to consenting adults in private. 
The court said the appellant had no 
right to raise thet argument, since the 


homosexual act for which he was 
convicted occurred in a public place on 
the banks of the Chesapeake & Ohio 
Canal in Georgetown. 


JAILHOUSE RAPE 

ALEXANDRIA, vikGNIA—A Federal- 
districl-court jury has awarded a $50,000 
judgment to a 19-year-old man who tes- 
tijed that he was raped twice in one 
evening by fellow inmates of the Fair- 
fax County Jail. The suit accused the 
sheriff and other jail personnel of neg 
ligence and violation of the victim's 
constitutional rights. Two о] the man’s 
allachers were found guilty of sodomy 
and a third pleaded guilty. 


FLAMING YOUTH 

KSON CITY, NEVADA—Inspired by 
similar events in at least two South- 
euastem states, а group of praying, sing- 
ing teenagers in Carson City smashed 
and burned hundreds of dollars’ worth 
of rock records because they contained 
lyrics about sex, drugs and rebellion. 
“Most Christians are not aware that 
secular music is poison,” said the 24- 
year-old. Assembly of God youth pastor 
who was at the burning. “I have met 
few people who are willing to give up 
their music Jor the Lord.” 


UNHAPPY HOOKERS 

nEmorr— The Detroit News is mak- 
ing news by publishing the names and 
addresses of hookers and Johns con- 
vieled under the city’s prostitution law. 
The paper's editor, Martin Hayden, ex 
plained that the purpose of the practice 
was 10 support the city's drive against 


prostitution. 
from some of the women, the response 
has been positive. Hayden said, “We've 


Aside from complaints 


had all sorts of praise—from citizens" 
groups. top. labor-union officials, civil 
rights organizations and, of course, the 
police department.” 


ZONING OUT SIN (AGAIN) 
rrrisnckcn—fFollouwing the examples 
of Boston, Detroit and Seattle, the Pitts- 


burgh City Planning Commission has 
approved a measure to restrict adult 
movie theaters by means of zoning law: 
The proposed rules fall just short of an 
outright ban, requiring that any porno 
theater be at least 500 feet from a 


residential or institutional district and 
al least 1000 feet from any two of the 
following: another adult theater, an 
amusement enterprise, cabaret, dance 
hall, hotel, motel, poolroom or licensed 
liquor establishment. A similar court- 
tested law in Detroit is becoming the 
model for other cities. 


QUESTIONS OF LOYALTY 
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Civil Serv- 
ісе Commission has announced that 
Federal job applicants will no longer 
be asked about their loyalty to the U. S. 
or whether they have ever belonged to 
the Communist Party. The move follos 
court decisions that the law was over- 
broad in this arca and that such probing 
into applicant’ backgrounds violates 
constitutional rights. The announce- 
ment stressed that dropping the loyalty 
questions. from employment applica- 
tions “does not lessen the commission's 
responsibility . . . to inquire into, and 
resolve, any question of loyalty.” 


MADNESS OF THE MONTH 

TALLAMASSER—The Florida Supreme 
Court, quoting the Old Testament, has 
ruled that state law bars women from 
sun-bathing topless on Florida beaches. 
By a vote of five to two, the justices 
upheld the disorderly-conduct convic- 
lons of wo young women who were 
arrested on a Fort Pierce beach in 1975 
for sun-bathing without their bikini 
tops. In the majority opinion, Justice 
Joseph Boyd said that “public nudity 
has been considered improper” since 
the beginning of civilization and quoted 
* “And the eyes of them both 
were opened, and they knew that they 
were naked; and they sewed fig le 
together, and made themsel: 
(See letter titled "Florida Fi 
this month's "Playboy Forum. 


Genesis”: 


э 


^s apron: 
y Leaf" in 


2 


y from the 
impotence 


auempt to take the penis a 
. The cause of neu 
idity is the woman's desire 10 
t penis and to deny the 
It would seem best for men 10 
come to grips with this reality. Instead. 
the psychiatric. professi. been. dedi- 
cated to building up the male ego. 
Richard В 
Cold Bay 


si: 


THE AGE OF THE SNOOP 

Way back in February 1975. The 
Playboy Forum published a lener ol 
mine about the lack of confiden| i 
V.D. clinics. Specifically, | pe 
that persons who are gay 
ing an awful risk 
one of those clinics. TI 
ber 1975 Forum, there reply 
from an ollicial of the Los Angeles De- 


partment of Health Services, stating that 
пу are groundless. “I cannot em 
ze enough he zealous 


cllorts of dep: medical and p: 
medical persouncl to protect the con- 
fidentiality of V.D. records. 

Now the Los Angeles Vanguard has 


revealed that V.D. files in Hollywood 


ients name, the 
ts, home and 


that all such 
redded before being thrown 
ош; but, meanwhile, this са 
tice had continued for over a y 
of Health Services sol- 
bout йз zealous 
cllorts to protect confidentiality 
Even more worrisome, though not so 
clearly documented, is testimony. the 
Vanguard. collected from anonymous dis- 
gruniled Health Services Department c 
ployees to the eflect that V.D. investiga 


who tells anythi 
t that can һе used ag; 


(Name withheld by request) 
La Jolla, Califor 


LEGALIZING GRASS 

Keith Stroup of the National Organiza- 
tion for the Reform of Ma Laws 
tions in the October Playboy Forum 
that Democratic President-elect Jimmy 


met 


Carter was in favor of decriminalization 
of marijuana. However, Roger L. Mac 
Bride, the Libertarian candidate, support- 


ed complete repeal of all drug laws. 
How many freaks found th 
well represented by the Democ 


54 


Shortly before the 1976 Presidential election, the A: 
U.S. Attorney responsible for the Memphis porn trials 
dressed а convention of the Adult Film Association. Shrug- 
ng off charge crusade had been. initiated by the 
Nixon Admi И Carter were 
elected, Larry P: udience, “The prosecut 
are going to increase manifold and with great vigor. And if 
k that will stop with the Democrats, well, that's just 


Damn right it's our hope. For the past six months, we've 
attempted to describe—in a series of editorials titled The 
Nixon Legacy—the impact of a President who used 
the power of his office to impose his own narrow moral vision 
on America, For the most part, the editorials have focused 
on the actions of the Supreme Court. Nixon and Ford 
stocked the High Court with five Justices who, by sheer 
apathy, have managed to create a climate in which repression 
can flourish and individual freedoms evaporate. 

The Nixon Court refused to hea 
Virginia sodomy statute and thu 
the continued existence of a number of 


d police powers to m 
ad seizures. The Nixon Court reversed 
punishment and reinstated the death 
€ coverage. 
acer of the Nixon 19 spread to 
Government other than the Supreme Court, Whe: 
of San Clemente rejected the findings of the Co 
Obscenity and Pornography, he declared that there would be 
"no relaxat 
smut from our 
is the logical consequence of Nixon's decision to purify 
America. The bureaucrats, district attorneys and postal in- 
who answered ve not ceased 
efforts and they do not plan to. 

When Parrish addressed the Adult Film Association, his 
tone was both delensive and arrogant. He suggested that 
when he spent over $1,000,000 of the taxpayers’ money to 
convict 12 people involved in the making and distribution 
of Deep Throat, he was simply doing hi 
copy of the Supreme Court's 1973 deci y. he 
disclaimed, “That's the law. I didn't make it up. I'm merely 
enforcing what the Supreme Court says the law is That 
standard is totally objective. . . . It prohibits depictions of 
any ultimate sex act, masturba ion or lewd exhi- 
bition of the genitals.” 

Parrish has no trouble recognizing obscenity. He told 
theater owners that if they needed help in defining pornog- 
raphy, they could get a costly lesson—in court, "How many 
у ized that you were going to sit in the can 
for five years and get a $100,000 fine, would really open 
double feature tomorrow?” Censorship by intimidation, 
Nixon must be proud of his bo: 

1t is doubtful that Jimmy Carter will be able 10 do any- 
thing to slow the juggernaut of repression that Nixon set in 
motion. As President, he can fill vacancies on the Supreme 
Court, but he cannot create them. 5011, there is hope. 

In his Playboy Interview, Carter said that as governor of 
Georgia he had placed a low priority on the enforcement of 


pmission on 


job. Pointing to а 


ions on obscen 


The Nixon Legacy: Part ҮП 


JUSTICE BY APATHY 


lows against victimless crimes, “But as to appointing judges, 
that would not be the basis on which I'd appoint ther 
I would choose people who were competent, whose judgment 
and integrity were sound. I think it would be inappropriate 
to ask them how they were going to rule on а particular 
question before I appointed them." 
Is that enough? ‘The silence of the 
omized in the five men Nixon and Ford appointed to the 
Court. The style of Burger and brethren has largely been 
characterized by the absence of decision. Some 1000 cases 
are presented to the High Court cach session; on the aver- 
age, the Justices vote to review between 150 and 170 of 
them, One's chances of geuing a he: 


lent majority is epit- 


than one in every 27. Carter should seek men not only of 
sound judgment and integrity but also of тру. 
Men like Willi n he retired, the 


Court lost 1 rights. 
was known as the 
would vote to hear a case for the 
one felt that а question of liberty were important enough to 
take it all the way to the Supreme Court, then, by God. the 
least the Supreme Court could do was listen. We need 

Court that is interested not just in the law but in people, in 
personal freedom, in the rights of the individual against 
absurd and arbitrary law, Instead, we have а country club 
for cavalier conservatives such as Warren Burger, who re- 
cently criticized an 1 because the brief was too lon 
“Bri t, as 


untiring champion of individu 


мем cert in the land; he 


ple reason that if some- 


Carter docs not believe that the Federal Government has 
the right to impose moral judgments on the When it 
comes to abolishing laws against such noncrimes as porno; 
raphy, adultery and sodomy, he has said, “Thats a judgment 
for the individual states to make.’ из out that a 
governor of Georgia he "didn't run ing Чома 
people's doors to see if they were fo 1 therein 
lies the difference. Unlike Nixon, Carter does not seem 
compelled to vindicate his own sexual lifestyle, to exorcise 
his own personal demons in public. Carter is more tole 
and rational. He lessened the penalties for таг 
ia. He decriminalized alcoholism. He ran for President 


species that was created by L.B.J. 

Carter believes їп sett mples by on, not by 
n. As President, he ha jue opportunity to 
create and encourage а new set of official priorities that will 
leave imoral judgments to God instead of to U.S. attorneys 


and postal inspectors. He seems to know the areas of le 
t. Both the Memphis pon 


mate concern to good governme 
s and the prosecution of Screw publisher Al Goldst 
in Wichita were initiated by Federal officials, not by state 
counts. At best, Garter can dean house of the puri 
misuse public office to invade the privacy of individuals. At 
keep a tight rein on the vigilante style of the 
Justice Department and the DEA—mock heroics that mock 
justice. 

Parrish was right. Maybe things will change with the 
Democrats; but that is only our hope. It may be our only 
hope. 


is who 


This is the last in a series of editorials. 


Republican parties in the last election? 
We shouldn't be reforming marijuana 
laws, we should be abolishing them. 
Jim and Lorri Laudon 
Tulsa, Oklahoma 


THE JERRY MITCHELL CASE 
I was appalled by the Playboy Forum 
Casebook report The Qzark Connection 
(November). 1 seriously doubt whether 
here in Canada anyone in Jerry Mitch- 
Ш situation would receive such a heavy 
penalty as 12 years for such a minor of 
fense. Considering his previous clean 
slate, the small amount of the deal, his 
age and the fact that there was no profit 
involved, 1 believe Mitchell would have 
ended up with a $500 fine or less and 
probation from a Canadian court. 
R. W. Ougden 
Richmond, British Columbia 
Everybody got something out of 1776 
We gol away from your king and you got 
away from our puritans. 


NO CONNECTION WITH REASON 
Timothy A. Jones, in the November 
Playboy Forum, expresses sadness that the 
U.S. Supreme Court upheld the death 
penalty, In the same issue, Playboy 
Forum Casebook tells about 19-year-old 
Jerry Mitchell's being sentenced to 12 
years in jail for selling third of an ounce 
of marijy Both the Supreme Court 
ruling and the Missouri jud 
sentence are expl 


s crucl 


ined by one statement 


in Casebook: "Common sense plays no 


great role in matters of law." 
Brent A. Collins 
Muncie, Indiana 


BUMPER BACKLASH 
Remember those bumper stickers that 

Said IMPEACH EARL WARREN? In all fai 
w think we ought to have bump- 
er stickers that read IMPEACH THE NIXON 
court. Depressingly, they ought to be 
good for years to come. 

James Green 

Los Angeles, California 


ness, 


NEW LANDS IN SPACE 

1 have been devoting much of my time 
lately to speaking and writing in favor 
of Princeton. Professor Gerard. O'Neill's 
proposed space colony, to be located at 
a point between the earth and the moon 
called L5. Oddly enough, audicaces seem 


entranced by my pi 
«іме Editor of rLAYmov. Somebody al 
ways asks me if Hefner is planning to 
build his own space colony (Playboy 
Mansion Up?) and whether sex will 
really be better in zero gravity 

While 1 enjoy а good joke as much as 
anyone and am as randy as anyone, 1 
must say that space colonization has more 
to recommend it than hedonics. It may be 
necessary to our very survival. Dr. J. Peter 
Vajk has conducted a computer study 
showing that a space-colonization-and- 
industrialization program, if started soon, 
can help Third World nations achieve 


vious job as an Asso: 


ve 


Y 


= 
SÀN 


2 


\\ 
à 


For color reproduction of Wild Turkey painting by Ken Davies, 19" by 217 send SZ to Box PB-2;USN, Wall St. Sta.. NY. 10005. 


Wild Turkey Lore: 


The Wild Turkey is one of the 
heaviest birds capable of 
flight. Yet it is unusually fast. 
The male bird has been Ра, 
clocked at speeds as high as 
55 miles per hour. 

As America's most 


Wild Turkey is an apt 
symbolfor Wild Turkey 
Bourbon America's most |IURKEY Y 


WILD TURKEY/101 PROOF/8 YEARS OLD. 


© 1977 Austin, Nichols Dating Co. Lawrenceburg. Kentucky. 


55 


CREATES A NEW 


THE 924 


On = 


One look at the new Porsche 924 and you'll realize this is no ordinary automobile. 


The dynamic design of its clean, flowing lines instantly proclaims it to be unlike any other car 
you've ever seen. 


Here is a perfect blending of 
the designer's search for beauty and 
the engineer's desire for efficiency. 
The shape of the new Porsche 924 not 


only pleases the eye, but it slices the 
wind so cleanly that it registered an 
incredibly low 0.36 drag coefficient in 
wind tunnel testing. 


But the true innovativeness of this new Porsche lies much deeper than the sheet metal. It 
lies at the very heart of the car in a unique arrangement of the engine, clutch, and transmission, 
known as a"transaxle" system. 


. Inthis transaxle arrangement, the engine, a water-cooled overhead cam design with a 
continuous fuel injection system, is mounted in front. The clutch is placed directly behind it, giving 
quick, positive clutch action for rapid shifting. 


The transmission, however, is mounted in the rear, at the driving wheels (hence the name 
rear"transaxle"). Rather than a conventional, heavy drive shaft with universal joints, there is a 
solid drive shaft in a hollow torque tube connecting the front-mounted engine with the rear- 
mounted transaxle. Thus, the entire drive train and differential is a single rigid unit which does 
away with universal joints and allows for more direct power transfer. Response is virtually instant. 
In addition, the gearshift is mounted directly on the torque tube, providing a short, precise throw. 


But this unique transaxle system yields more than preciseness. It also results in an almost 
perfect 50-50 weight distribution which improves braking efficiency and enhances handling 
Characteristics. The new Porsche 924 
takes corners smoothly, in balance. о 
McPherson struts іп front, combined í 
with a wishbone torsion bar suspension 
in the rear, keep body lean to a minimum 
in curves. Rack-and-pinion steering f° 
assures the driver of quick, accurate ( 
response to every command. The new | s* 
Porsche 924 is designed to be the z 
most driveable Porsche ever. 


The new Porsche 924 is not 
inexpensive. But it is less than you'd 
expect to pay for a Porsche. 


PLAYBOY 


58 


economic parity with the industrial na- 
tions in several decades. "This means that 
the economy of abundance for all people, 
predicted by optimistic t kers such as 
ter Fuller but mocked by shal- 
mists, is within our grasp if we 
now. Vajk's computer projections 
show, however, that if we have not built 
the first space city by 2002, it will be too 
late to reverse the decline of our tech- 


start 


nology. The worst famine in history vill 
destroy the Third World, 


resources will wreck the adv 
shortly thereafter, as predicted. by 
conferences of experts such аз 
the Club of Rome 

Once in orbit, the first space colony 
would begin building solar-power satel- 
lites, filling the evergrowing energy gap 
as fossil fu xhausted. A NASA 
study has estimated the cost for this 
beachhead in space at between 30 billion 
dollars and 60 billion dollars spread over 
15 years. The first colony could also be- 
gin to build add al colonies and it 
has been calcul th. 
10.000 colonies, popu 
tween 10,000 and 4,000,000 each, could 
orbit without crowding опе an- 
ts to could go. 

In short, space colonization seems to 
be the best solution to our reso nd 
energy needs, and it is available right 
now. Without it, we may collapse into a 
new and possibly permanent. dà 
Anyone who wants n 
write to the L5 Society, 1620 North 
"Tucson, Arizona 85719. 


Robert Anton Wilson 


Berkeley, Califor 


WHEN IS A PERSON? 

Your reply to Louis Hausheer Pum- 
phrey that you "don't. perceive the fetus 
as a person with a full set of human 
rights” (The Playboy Forum, October) 
illuminates the analogy between slavery 
and abortion. Whencver any group wishes 
to enslave, abuse, oppress or murder any 
other group, the first order of b 
to proclaim the target group somehow in- 
ferior or less than human. Hitler did that 
to the Jews and the white settlers in North 


America did it to the Indians and the 
blacks. You are right to say “It will be 
hard to have sonable discussion.” It's 


impossible to deal with a bigot. 
D. A. Reichardt 
Cincinnati, Ohio 
Precisely. Until recently, women in 
this country were considered inferior, 
and that is why the slate claimed the right 
to forbid them control of their own preg 
nancies. Treated as baby factories or 
brood animals, women were viewed as less 
than human. To return women to that 
condition via a socalled right-to-life 
amendment would be a death sentence for 
many and a form of slavery for all. 


So many antia 
sheer Pumphrey seem to lurk i 


“Playboy Forum” Casebook 
BAD DAY AT RED LODGE 


а controversial californian tangles with a killer marijuana law 
zn the “big sky" country of montana 


Last year, Lake Headley moved from 
Los Angeles io Red Lodge, Montana, 
o “take a vacation, lay low and write 
book" about his adventures as a private 
detective. So far, he hasn't done much 
resting or writing. Headley, his wife, 
his son and two friends are accused of 
ор j 

tion that supposedly flourished and v. 
ished between the time nce 


in s occurred 80 days 
later. ase is bizarre, as is the 
Montana drug law under which Head- 
ley and defendants now face from 
one year to lile in prison for the "sale 


of dangerous drugs," which not even 
allege were ever sold. 


the author 
Well try to сх 


California. He work 
Coast lawyers defending political га 
cals 


nts and, 
Tew v 
> quite 
1 law enforcer: 
for the. American. Ind 
tee at Wounded Knee, 
he supplied much of the 

de- 
npro- 
rare and 


investigator 
defense comi 
South Dakot; 
evidence that [reed the р 


nts because of Fedes 
and also performed 
ssingly successful citiz 
men. ln a 
My drug са 


fend 
priety 
embarra 
of two 
uge Co 


prove entrapment and official miscon- 
duct by agems of the Drug Enforce- 
men Adm ion. He was later 
ned by parents of two slain mem- 
bers of the Symbioncse Liberation 
Army to investigate the final shoot-out 
» the LAPD. This is the main 
subject of the book he moved to Red 
Lodge to begin writing. A personal 
friend and land. developer, Don Woga- 
mon, owned property there and offered 
the free use of a nearby ranch and 
moder bedroom mobile home to 
Headley, his w 
son, Lake He: ged 
mon and his son, ‘Timothy, 
ише of the Red Lodge high school, аге 
the other defendants in the drug case. 
that some of his old 
BI and the DEA 
pon County sher- 
iff Jim Eichler that a dangerous Cali- 
revolutionary was hiding out 


his territory and that the national i 
terest would be served by putting him 
out of action, one way or another. 
Headley could be wrong; the commi 
nity is soc Hy tight and 
a susp е check on 
a newcomer turned up 
Headley’s fat dossier as a 
troublemaker. 

But FBI agents did twice earlier pay 
calls on Elizabeth's elderly Germ 
ts, who had survived Russii 
amp and who speak almost no 

They scared the wits out of 
them with vague talk of deportation for 
their Austrian-born daughter, who 
still a resident And the nteni 
id on the Wogamon ranch was led, 
in fact if not officially. by an agent of 
the DEA who would seem to have had 
no Federal business even being there. 
The raid, according to the defendants’ 
affidavits, also had those characteristic 


would have 
Federal 


rest war- 
rants until Sheriff Eichler later arrived 
on the scene. Headley was stopped 
his car at the entrance to а nearby rural 
cemetery. He says his paranoia didn't 
flare up until later, in town, when he 
was being transported in the front seat 
ofa с: nd his handculls were loved 
and replaced by a 357 m 
mer cocked, touch the back of his 
head. 

The Billings G 
raid in a опер 


zelle reported the 
age lead stor 


MARIJUANA FARM 
FOUND NEAR RED LODGE 

-. . Authorities said the quantity 
of marijuana recovered had a street 
value ol about $ 0.000. 7 
officers acting on search з 
d more than 9000 marijuan: 
the field on the 
addition, numerous 
ijuana plants were 
ensity 
of a house 


poued ma 


и 


Where the Gazelle got its 
ther mystery, because nor 
is true › one at the 
could find to meet with 


wealthy communities like Shaker Heights, 
Ohio. Funny how those who don't have to 
contend with budgetary constraints are 
able to ignore such factors in promulgat- 
ing their totalitarian views. 
Charles D. Shilling 
Scotch Plains, New Jersey 


hostility is only embarrassment: 
tacular city-county-Federal, fron 
rcotics officer" had only pot-plantation raid turns out egg 
1 2000 hypothetical pot pl on the face. But the entire case looks 
d an “estimated” $450,000 in street like cither a deliberate Federal setup 
nd that the Carbon County using gullible rural cops to try to get 
ter had exp Headley, dead or alive, or a local law- 
plans had actually been enforcement screw 
the paper only The original surveillance, Ше war- 
tle deeper by head- id and the arrests, not to 
EN THEY GOT THERE ion the unprecedented $25,000 
JE FIELD was BARE.” implying the pot bonds under which Headley and his 
was there in the first place. From police family were held for ten days in 
'ecords on file, it seems the raid on both involve so many irregu! 
the ranch and the Wogamons' house ii possible illegalities that the case may 
town netted a couple of plastic ba never go to wial. The Playboy Founda- 
ral suspected joints and tion is working with defense attorneys 
plus Gro-Lamps, peat pots, оп these points es the 
wd other (door. charges serious is the barbaric nature 
phernal of Montana's law on drug sales. 

aior Editor Bill Helmer 1 it can be proved that a single pot 
igator Russ Mil- nt ever grew on the ranch where 
s and the Headleys lived or in Wogamon’s 
ngs, talking with the Headleys, house in Red Lodge, Montana's drug 
ags attorney D. Frank Kampfe and — laws are broad enough possibly to allow 
persons who prefer to rci conviction for "sale of dangerous 
ified. Sheriff Eichler was not drugs" merely because of the strange 
available and we did not try to contact ng of the state statute. "Cultiva- 
the DEA nt, Donald Friend, who the same as “s nd cul- 
was identified in the Billings paper tivation is not defined. The penalty for 
U. S. Customs agent" from at this offe one year to life. The 


Mr. Pumphrey, if your wife were raped 
and became pregnant, would you mak 
her bear that baby? You bet your 
you wouldn't. | 
(Name withheld by request) 
Oberasbach, Germany 


lining the item, 


In your reply to my letter, you state, 
“Until you can understand that we don't 
perceive the fetus as а per: full 
set of human rights, it d to 
have a reasonable discussion." Ah, but I 
do understand that prochoicers perceive 
the fetus as something less than a person. 
What Em still scratching my head about 
why such a perception? What is the re 
son, when there of embryo- 
logi 
the u 


iqueness of the fetu 
Louis Hausheer Pumphrey 

Sha hts, Ohio 
Zoology can tell us a lot about а cou 
but not whether Hindus are right or 
wrong to consider the cow sacred. That is 


sever 
unide 


к. We walked for two hours up and same statute also makes no distinction a religious question. Similarly, embryol- 
down the 250-acre ranch, including the between g t of marijuana ogy can't tell us whether it is right or 
creck area where the ma a sup- and selling a ton of heroin. wrong to terminate a pregnancy. That, 


posedly grew, 
the cult on of 
cept for the rem: 


l we saw no signs of It's possible that this case will afford 
nything, ever. Ex- the Pla ‘oundation and attorney 
s of a Wx 157 0). Frank K: mpfe, who may hold the 
ord for making case law in 
еф near the Headley’ Montana, а good shot at changing the 
and killed by frost. state drug statute on sale and cultiva- 
e we were hospitably received as боп. Which, ntly written, seems 
strangers, we left feeling а liule like a patently unconstituti i 
Spencer Tracy after asking too many 
questions in Bad Day at Black Rock. 
It may well be that what seems to be 


100, is à religious question and, especially 
in this country, it should not be settled 


by la 


ABORTION FALLACIES 

Ir is inconsistent Гог any religious organ- 
ization to adopt the slogan “Right to 
Jile” when the history of ihe sime org; 
ization is replete with mass killings and 
horrible tortures. Nor do the present 
leaders of the Catholic Church forbid 
killing and warmaking by their followers, 
though some other religions do. In fact, 
in December 1967, at the height of th 
Vietnam war, Pope Paul VI issued 
sttement on peace publicly expressing 
the hope “that the e юп of th 
ideal of peace may not favor the coward- 
ice of those who fear it may be thei 
duty to give their lile for the sei 
their own country and of their own 
brothers. . .. Peace is not pacifism: it 
docs not mask it base and slothlul concept 
of life... ." So much for the right to lile. 

Henry Kattenhorn 
Burlington Flats, New Yor 


tomato crop started under Gro Lamps. 
set out by 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the 
opportunity for an extended dialog be- 
tween readers and editors of this publica- 
lion on contemporary issues. Address all 
correspondence to The Playboy Forum, 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michi- 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois. 60611. 


Lake Headley and his wife, Elizabeth, provide a tour of their alleged pot 
plantation for “Casebook” Editor Bill Helmer and legal investigator Russ Million. 


PLAYBOY 


60 


The first long cigarette to bring 
good taste tolow-tar smoking. 


Like a lot of smokers you may like the idea of a longer cigarette. You may also want low tar. 

But longer cigarettes usually have more tar. 

Well, Vantage just wouldn’t go along with that. 

So we worked. Until we could perfect a longer cigarette with the famous Vantage combination of 
full flavor and low tar. 

Not the lowest long cigarette you can find. But very possibly the lowest that you will enjoy- 

New Vantage Longs. A blend of flavor-rich tobaccos with tar levels held down to the point where 
good taste still comes through. 

That’s the Vantage point. And that’s the point of Vantage Longs. Never before has there been a 
long cigarette quite like it. 

Try a pack today and see if you go along with us. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


11 то. "tar", 0.9 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, by FTC method. 


mmi KEITH STROUP 


a candid conversation about pot smoking, drugs and legal hassles with the 
young director of norml, who is spearheading the reform of marijuana laws 


Keith Stroup, the 33-year-old director 
of NORML, the Notional Organization 
for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, has 
been called “a turned-on Nader? “Mr. 
Marijuana" and “the first politician of 
pot." He's surely the most unusual lobby- 
ist dn Washinglon, and he just may be, 
dollar for dollar, the most effective. We at 
PLAYKOY have known Stroup since 1970, 
when the Playboy Foundation put up the 
money to start NORML, and over the 
years we've heard intiigning ve ports of his 
ntures ах he has erisseiossed America 
ng marijuana-law reform. 

Then we began to hear of some remark- 
able political achievements aswell. Between 
Мау and August of 1975, the legis- 
latures of five states—Alaska, California, 
Colorado, Maine and Ohio—voted to 
remove criminal penalties [or the posses- 
sion of small amounty of marijuana, South 
Dakota and Minnesoia followed in 1976, 
making a tolal of seven states to join 
Or 
lion” in 1973, pioneering a new, more 
rational national policy toward the fact 
of widespread marijuana use. Those state 
legislative actions amounted to a dramatic 
breakthrough for the reform movement, 


on, which had voted “decriminaliza 


“Those poor bastards were in prison jor 
ten 10 twenty years for doing the same 


thing I'd done the night before. That's 
what is all about—fighting the injustice 
of people locked up Jor getting high.” 


and since Stroup was at the center 
of the battle, we decided it was time we 
went to him for his and NORML's full 


story. For the assignment, we chose 
Patrick Anderson, a novelist and political 


journalist. who has known Stroup for 
several years and who in 1973 wrole one 
of the first major magazine articles. on 
NORML for The New York Times 
Magazine, Since conducting this inter 
view, Anderson was hired during the 1976 
Presidential campaign as Jimmy Carters 
lop speechwriter. Anderson reports: 
“Interviewing Keith Stroup isa piece of 
pie. Keith has no secrets and he has 
plenty of opinions, so all 1 really had to 
do was turn on а tape recorder and get 
down some of the discussions of drugs 
and politics we've been having since 1 first 
met him, The interview sessions took place 
in NORML’S offices in an old. three-story 
town house in a rather disreputable block 
of M Street, about halfway between the 
White House and Georgetown. 1 
know what people would expect a mari- 
juana lobby’s offices to be like—sinister? 
paranoid? zonked outi—but. NORML’s 
are cozy, informal and quite businesslike. 
There's а portrait of George Washington 


don't 


“If marijuana must be taxed, Ра like 
10 see the money go for drug education 
and rehabilitation, We in the drug culture 
should admit there are casualties to drug 
use and take responsibility for then 


over the mantel and a lot of Doonesbury 
cartoons and promarijuana posters on the 
walls; the phones ving а lot and there ave 
usually good soundy—Elton John, say, or 
Jimmy Buffett—coming from the stereo in 
Keith’s office. The staff bustles about, 
usually wearing jeans and sometimes 
NORMI. T-shirts, and takes care of busi- 
ness with the casy efficiency of people 
who've known one another a long time. 
Indeed. Keith and Larry Schott, who runs 
NORML's tax-exempt Center. for the 
Study of Nonmedical Drug Use, have 
been together since NORML was started 
in the fall of 1970. Move recent arrivals 
include Peter Meyers, NORMUL's chief 


counsel; Mark Heutlin, Jio came 
from California to be NORML’s business 
manager when NORMI merged with 


Amorphia, the West Coast reform group; 
Gordon Brownell, also of Amorphia, who 
runs NORML's West Coast office; and 
Frank Fioramonti in the 
office. All these people took 25 percent 
pay cuts in 1975 because of NORML'’s 
financial problems, but the cuts haven't 
bothered their morale. Оп the con- 
trary, thanks to the political. successes 
they have achicved since May of 1975, 


еш York 


ED STREEKY / CAMERA 5 
“Alaska has that 21-hour day up there, 
and they claim to grow cabbages double 
size, so who knows about marijuana? T 
think there'll be more than ой comin 
down that new pipeline.” 


61 


PLAYBOY 


62 


morale at NORML has newer been higher. 

“Since his divorce four years ago, 
Keith has been living in а тоот on the 
third floor of the town house—his lavish 
penthouse suite, we call it—and it was 
there that most of our conversations took 
place, mosily on Sundays, when his phone 
doesn't ring so much, The challenge in 
interviewing him was to strike a balance 
between the two sides of his personality. 
The most obvious thing about Keith is 
that he's a funny, colorful, zany guy, with 
а vare talent for laughing at himself and 
at the madness of the world. The other, 
less obvious fact is that he’s an excep- 
tionally bright, tough, dedicated reformer 
who's done a remarkable job of spear- 
heading the national battle Jor marijuana- 
law reform. In his way, Keith is just as 
impressive a figure as Ralph Nader and— 
knowing both men—I can testify that 
hes a hell of a lot more fun to be 
around. 1 was particularly pleased to do 
the interview, because it seems to me that 
our ultrarespeclable national media have 
largely ignored. the story of the тета. 
able burst of recent marijuana-law reform 
and it appears appropriate that Keith 
should be allowed to tell the full story 
himself, since he did so much to make 
it happen.” 


PLAYBOY: Kei 
marijuana 
years 

penalties for the smoker, with similar re 
forms currently being considered by the 
Congress and. more than 30 other 
How does this success make you feel 
STROUP: It makes me feel great. ГИ tell 
you how it feels 1 way in Ohio in 1975 
on the day the new Jaw went into effect. I 
spoke at Kent State and there were these 
guys in the audience in brightcolored 
bDandleader costumes, like the Beatles 
wore on the Sgt. Pepper album, and after- 
ward. 1 talked 10 them and they turned 
out to be dealers, just messing around, 
celebrating the new law. That night. E 
went 10 a раму some good old country 
freaks gave to celebrate, ‘They rented а 
hall outside Akron and hired a 


a plants and 
ed 200 or 300 other fi s. Now, 
obviously, the local police knew those 
people were smoking in there and they 
could '€ cused trouble- 
PLAYBOY: What could they have donc, 
under the new law? 

STROUP: For posession, they could have 
ned everyone $100, which in that case 
would have meant some $25,000 fines 
for that little community. But the point 
is that the police chose to leave then 
give the new law a chance, and 
everybody had a fine time. Those Ohio 
people were really happy. Some of them 
1 attended our. first NORML confer- 
ence, back in 1972. Now they have a 
tremendous feeling of pride at being 
part of this successful ро! movement. 


I feel that way. too, 

PLAYBOY: You mentioned your 1972 con- 
ference, which was something of a fiasco. 
It, in itself, is a measure of how fa 
ТОҢ МІ. has come, isn't 
STROUP: І think so. We made every pos- 
sible mistake on that conference, һер 
ning with ity name—the First 
People’s Pot Conference. People’s had the 
wrong connotation; it sounded like a 
meeting of doped-up Communists, At that 
point, we were tying desperately 10 de- 
velop a middle-class constituency for the 
ijuana issue, but we had the confer 
ence in the middle of the week, when 
middle-class people were working, and we 
didn't charge admission, so we ended up 
with 90 percent freaks, people who 
couldn't help us because they w 
plugged into tlic political system. 
PLAYBOY: And somebody gor busted. 
t from Texas. a 
disc jockey who had some wet mi 
So he raised the hood of his car to dry it 
t some pl; 
om across the 
street and busted him. Which, of course, 
became the big news story of our first 


“To the establishment, 
marijuana was seen not 
simply asa mild intoxicant 
but asa symbol of radicalism 
and permissiveness—— 
everything that 
threatened them.” 


conference, Not a great start, But, as you 
point out, by the time of our third con- 
Terence, in 1974, the issue had progressed. 
Dr. Robert DuPont, the director of the 
National Institute on Drug Abuse, and 
President ? п drug advisor, w. 
our main speaker, and he took the occa- 
sion to call for decriminalization, The 
next year, we featured Ramsey Clark, and 
this past year, the program included both 


Hunter Thompson and th adidate 
mmy Carter's advisor Dr. Peter Bourne. 
So I gues you could say weve gone 


spectable. 
PLAYBOY: What do you think caused the 
dr ic increase in marijuana use in the 
U. S. in the past ten or twelve years? 
STROUP: 1 think it art of the soc 
upheaval caused. by the war i 
Many young people were reject 
lishment values in various way 
wanted their own styles of dress, their own 
music and even their own way of getting 
high. So they rejected alcohol and made 
marijuana a symbol of their freedom from 
the old values. Of course, T happen to 
think it’s a better high, too. But the sym- 


bolism cut both ways. To the establish- 
ment. mariju 
a mild intoxicant but 

radicalism and permissiveness—everything 
that threatened them, 

PLAYBOY: Given that hostility—some of 
which obviously still exists—how was it 
possible to get a reform movement started? 
STROUP: lt was possible because more and 


arrested every year. In 1973. there were 
more than 400,000 arrests. Something had 


n. "Dad, I'm in jail 
That's a cruel way to change attitudes, but 
forces busy people to 1 look at 
the issue. Mike Stepanian, a San F 
delense attoruey, and I have been working 
the Ozarks in southwest Mis- 
where a 19-year-old sophomore was 
sentenced to 12 years in prison for sel 
five dollars worth of marijuana to 
friend, Most parents, forced 1o de 
cither that their child is a criminal who 
should be jailed or that the kaw is an 
decide that the law is an ass. 

PLAYBOY: And many parents have come 
around to feeling the law was—or is— 


an ass? 
STROUP: Yes, and the clearest evidence 
саше in 1970, when Congress 


alty lo 


lowered the Federal p 
i felony до а 


possession Пот а 
misdemeanor. 


juana on Schedule One, with 
heroin, thereby making it unavailable as 
a medicine, even И a physician hail a 


legitimate need for it, That is particul 
ironic in light of recent research— 
rokorated by the Government—indicati 


e side ейсаз of chemotherapy 
experienced. by many сапсег pati 
NORML has а suit pending aga 
Drug Enforcement Administration seeking 
the reclassification of marijuana to а low- 
айп making it available 


as a medicine. 
But the pen 
sesion were lowered. 


pos- 
years, 


nd, of course, that was the time we were 


starting NORML, so as the states were 
ing from a felony to a misdemeanor. 
we were saying, "Hey, lets go a мер 


id remove cr 


further 


PLAYBOY: Perhaps you'd better make clear 
the difference between. dea ization 
and legalization, 
STROUP: Well, when possession is classified 
cither a misdemeanor or a felony, that 
means smoking grass is a c 1 offense 
for w can be arrested and jailed. 
At the other extreme, you have legali 
tion, which means marijuana could be 
produced and sold commercially, like cig- 
агецез or alcohol There would be a 


t you stop arresting people 
for smoking marijuana, while maintain- 
inal prohibition against sellers. 
Smoking is still discouraged, but the 
penalty, if any, is a finc, nor jail, enforced 
with a citation 
AYBOY: Docs МОК МІ. 
ization? 

STROUP: No. We would like to see some 
ious study undertaken to develop 
lyze various potential lega 
models, so that states in the future will 
have the information they need, should 
some ol them decide to take this step. But 
for now, we view such a change as pre- 
Our immediue goal is decrim- 
inalization, 

PLAYBOY: But you do sce legalizat 
marijuana at the end of the road, 
you? 

STROUP: Definitely. E Ш 
pout half the states will have decrimi 
ized, and the debate will start to focus on 
legalization. b expect the first states to 
legalize within five to seven уса 

ill legalize and some won't, just 
states have different liq 
PLAYBOY: How would legali 
STROUP. No one knows. 
came tomorrow, we'd prol 
alcohol. model, 
and 


advocate legal- 


on of 
don't 


nk that by 1978, 


If leg: 
bly follow the 
te production 
n. Prob- 


over the 
the land and the 
distribute ma 
ally. however, 
happen 
PLAYBOY: Why? 

STROUP: I'd like to sce nonprofit corpo- 
rations grow and sell legal marijuana, 
with the profits going to drug education 
and rehabilitation programs inste: 
the tobacea comp: But I 


business, since they already have 
to produce and 
аген, Person- 
I wouldn't want to see that 


nies. 


r the business. 
PLAYBOY: What 
STROUP: Once 
ered the consumi 
juani issue and the 
that the 
PLAYBOY: In what т 
STROUP: For one thing, we need Laws that 

i user to grow his own пыш} 
private cultiv So far. even 
the states that have dec alized use 
have kept criminal penalties for culti 
tion, except ka. That doesn't make 
sense—to say you can smoke it but you 
сиг grow it—but it’s a political trade-olf 
we had 10 accept, What we do, ance we 
er decriminalization, is to go back the 
with a cultivation bill, or chal- 
lenge the consiitutionality of the c 
tion penalties in the courts. Wi 
that now in Oregon and Califo, 
PLAYBOY: If people can grow their own, 
will they buy legalized mariju: 
STROUP: Sure. You can grow your own to- 
matoes, but most people prefer the conven- 


arrives, we've 
phase of the m 
will be 10 see 


ience of buying them at the supermarket. 
push for, once 
grass is legal and regulated, are that the 
regulators provide а decent quality of 
rijuana, the price is fair, the place and 
hours of sale are reasonable, things like 


PLAYBOY: You menti 
do you think 


ied regulation. How 
«es should be handled? 

na must be taxed, I'd 
like to see the money go for drug educa- 
tion and rehabilitation. We in the drug 
culture should admit there are casualties 
to drug use and we should take re: 
bility for them, just as the alcohol and 
tobacco people should take responsibility 
for their casualties! 
PLAYBOY: Whit about 
SIROUP: I’m totally against 
lega ion without conv 
Pcople should be educated 
and what they do to you, but they 
shouldn't be pressured into using the 
PLAYBOY: Where does the best ma 
come from 
STROUP: 1 think Southeast Asian gra 
the best in the world. And there's 
coming out of the island of 


idvei 


ising? 
We want 


"Southeast Asian grass is 
the best in the world. And 
there’s grass coming out 
of the island of Maui, 
.. that is the best 


Hawaii 


I've ever smoked." 


that costs 5200 an ounce and that is the 
best I've ever smoked. The people from 
High Times magazine brought some to 
the NORML conference last ye: 
PLAYBOY: What other good grass is there? 

STROUP: Well, on the East Coast, you get a 
Jot of good Colombian, selling for $30 to 
$50 an ounce. And there's good grass out 
of Jamaica. Bur 90 percent of the grass 
sold in this country still comes from Me: 
ico, although it's nor the | 


PLAYBOY: Wi brin 

juana? Is it organized cr 

SrROUP. Not in the sense of the Ma 
What you usually have are groups of si 


or eight college students, or young profes- 
sionals, who put up a few thousand dol- 


lars each and rent a plane and ily to 
Mexico or Colombia and bring back sev- 
eral hundred pounds of marijuana. It’s 
middleckis organized crime, people who 
wouldn't deal in heroin or coc but 
who think there's i Hor to 
dealing marijuana, It's w culture, 
with the dealer as the modern Jesse 
James. They're in it for the mystique as 


much 


for the ji 


PLAYBOY: What h 
with marijuana dealers? 

STROUP: When I speak on campuses, often 
some dealer will come up and identify 
himself. He'll say something like, “Those 
of us in the business appreciate wha 
you're doing." They want recogniti 
anyone else. We have other contacts. For 
example, a dealer recently 
ounces of good Colombian to 
NORML's conference party. 
PLAYBOY: Do they ever offer mone: 
STROUP: Sometimes. 1 think some dealers 
aren't sure how to relate to us. After all, 
if we brought about legalization, we'd 
put them out of business. But occasionally 
we receive anonymous cont 
few of which may come from de 


€ been your contacts 


ave us two 


use at 


PLAYBOY: How much? 


lelt in small. bills 
D.C, office. A str; 


gion, 
прег left the money, 
along with a note claiming it was from a 
confederation of dealers. 
PLAYBOY: What did уоп do? 
STROUP: І called the press. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 
STROUP: | thought it might be some kind 
of setup by the Government. Т wanted 
some witnesses, 
PLAYBOY: Were you able to keep the 
money? 
STROUP: Absolutely. 
tha politically if we 
were seen as some sort of front for deal- 
ers. No respectable politician could work 
with us. So we now have a policy to seg- 
regate all money that purports to come 
from dealers and we it only to defend 
its. 
Some ene think that the way 
dle legalization would be simply 
пе the existin in other 
words, to let dealers operate openly. The 
idea is that those people ran the vi 
when grass w al and should reap 
the profits How do you 
feel about that? 
STROUP: A legal v 
hood-dealer system 


could wipe us ou 


on of the neighbor- 
ust might work. I 
think we should end the bootlegger/ 
bhi ket system, because it always 
means abuses, whether it's in whiskey or 

se con- 
And those are 
umerprotective devices the 
t provides in other areas and 
should provide here. 1 appreciate what 
the dealers have done, and we've all felt 
а sense of brotherhood in the past few 
But whatever system of sales 


consumer against the tra- 
Labuses of the market place. 

ke bathtub gin dur- 
supposed to 


ing Prohibi 
make you go blind? 
STROUP: Right, and dope spiked with PCP 
сап mess your mind up. I mean, it's just 
crazy not to regulate it. Right now, it's 


PLAYBOY 


64 


casy for a 13-year-old kid to buy unregu- 
lated marijuana as it is for me. 
PLAYBOY: You smoke a lot of marijuana. 
Wh 
STROUP: Because its [un 
it ОГ the available reer 
lifestyle 
ngover 
health 


Because I enjoy 


al drugs, 
best. It 
nd 
than 
re 


suits my 
you with a h 
ii to you 


two levels to the 


marijuar 
other recreational drugs. The first is 
sheer fun—the pleasure of the immediate 
hi 


cause 


Im working on 
Ix Il put me in a better frame 
of mind. But there's a second level, at 
which vou begin to develop a better sense 
of awareness of yourself and your place 
in the universe. Drugs can take you out 


g 


of your hectie, trivial everyday life and 
into a cosmic level where you think about 
where the nd 
where the that 


k drugs ve 
emotional and philosophical b 
PLAYBOY: 1 һе main argument for recrea- 
tional drug use is that it enhances your 


ences—whether it's sex or 


ever, But 
experiences without ipe Ww 
ing of prayer, meditari Nac 
and so ou —nonchemical highs. 
Чу, some people have al 
to reach 
. the one 
other people get from drugs. Andy Weil, 
the author of The Natural Mind, argues 
that the goal for most of us should be 
the ability to reach that state without 
drugs, because it would be a pure high. 
1 would agree with that. 
PLAYBOY: Then would you agree that in 
the best of all possible worlds, we 
wouldn't have drags? 
STROUP: Well. in the best of all possible 
worlds, we wouldn't use drugs destruc 
tively. But Fm not willing 10 rule out 
ional dru The thing is, we 
don't live in the best of all possible 
worlds. In work, we should have 


use. 


we 


fere with the individual who wants to nse 
drugs iu a positive way. 
PLAYBOY: You usually 
Some people 
"terms. Can you 
STROUP: 
of them аге interesting. Doo is one Ive 
always liked, what blacks 
around New s used de 
Of couse, you've got tea, 
reeler, marijuana, grass, dope, h 
weed. I think that sometimes 
mes. H people in 


lot of terms. 


Some 


mar 


play 
the media, for example, have a particular 
ax to gri ake it sound cither less 


or more threatening. 
PLAYBOY: Grass is a friendly word. 
STROUP; Yeah. Pot is hard and h 


sh, T 


think. Dope is terrible. You will notice 
that some headline writers refer to all 
marijuana arrests as dope busts. 
the word пы 
have a sinister, forcign sound? 
strouP: Well, we all have xenophobi 
You're right. T suspect 


ican name 
that has a soft J sound, we might h: 
moved along on this issue a little quicker. 
LAYBOY: How about marigold? 

STROUP: Right. Wasn't that wh 
Everett Dirksen wanted to n 
tional Пом 
PLAYBOY: Yes, and we suppos 
people who'd like to make 
national flow 
STROUP: Listen, for some of us it Лаў be 
for quite a while, In fact, in а recent poll 
: up, FTD, to select 
juana was the lead 


t Senator 
€ the ni 


there 
шапа the 


ig wr 


ic. 


PLAYBOY: "There's an entire marijuana cul. 
ag up in Ame there? 
Yes, there are at least 13,000,000 


regular smokers in America and NORML 
represents them politically. In publishing, 


“We should have the goal of 
minimizing destructive drug 
use, but I don't think we 
should interfere with the 
individual who wants to 


use drugs ina positive way." 


you have High Times, Rush and Head, 
all magazines directed to smokers that. 
have reached mass circula w. You 


have hip businessmen—the marijuana 
millionaires, Not just the dealers but 
people who are into paraphernalia, head 


shops. things like that. [ know a fellow 
who started out selling cigarette papers 
about the Gime we started NORML who's 
now the major distributor of paper 
paraphernalia in the U.S. and grosses 
about $8,000,000 a усаг. Every year in 
New York, the nation’s boutique own- 
ers have a convention, and there's a see 
tion of headshop people and its a wild 
scene. You go trom booth to booth, 
sampling drugs they're giving away— 
grass, ne. even. laughing they 
pass out in balloons. 

PLAYBOY: Lets talk about how NORML 
operates and what you've done to get tl 
laws changed. You mentioned the 1970 
Federal Jaw lowering the penalties for 
possession. Were there other milestone 
STROUP: Yes. The пем 
haps the biggest one 
report issued. by the 
sion өп Mat 


and 


сос 


gs 


March of 1972. Here you had а Nixon- 
appointed, blue-ribbon, ultrarespectable 
commission, which conducted the most 
exhaustive study ever made of mari 
use, spending two years and $4,000,000, 
ad concluded that marij s 
vely harmless when smoked in mod- 


cration and that its use should be 
decriminalized. 
PLAYBOY: Nixon rejected the report, 


didn't hi 
STROUP: He not only rejected it, he de- 
nounced it. He implied that all those ul- 
pectible figures he'd appoi 
the comm somehow tu 
сталіся. That was an election 
course, and George McGov 
izttion, so, naturally, Nixon 
But the point is that it didu't 
matter wh, on said. The report spoke 
for itself, No honest, open-minded legis- 
lator could ignore it. From that point on. 
iminalization was just a matter of time. 
PLAYBOY: And Oregon led the way. 


de 


STROUP. ‘That's right—Orcgon was the 
next milestone. In October of 1973. it 
became the first state to decriminalize. Its 
legi: le ihe possession of up to 


an ounce punishable by à maximum 
fine of 5100, Frankly, we were surprised. 
We didn’t expect them to move so quickly. 
PLAYBO! 


all, a. progressive. Republican. 
и also had the support of Pat. Horton, an 
attorney who had ex- 

with decriminalization in 
пу. He testified that mariju 
rests were a waste of police resource 
The influent i 
persuaded: to 
And sever 


а 


you 


hog [armer—literally, a hog 
named Stalford Hansell 10 co- 
sponsor the bill. 
PLAYBOY: What was the 
gon's action on other states? 
STROUP: No other 
ore than a year. 
able фил 10 use i s 
le had ass Г you de- 
criminalized, suddenly everyone would be 
stoned all the time, In faa, surveys by the 
Drug Abuse Council have shown that 
the rate of smoking stayed the same. So we 


mpact of Ore- 


stite took act 


began fly ound the country to dozeus 
of states, armed with the marijua 
mision report amd the Oregon 
NORMI had a kind of portable 


force of experts we would make available 
for state legislative hearing: 
PLAYBOY: Who w ome of your experts? 


STROUP: Dr. Tom Ungcrleider, a. psycl 
irist at UCLA who w Preside 

appointec to the Co Ма 
juna; Pat Horton, 

hom Oreg 


profesor R 
ate director of the mari 


Dr. Dorothy Whipple, who's both a 
grandmother and a noted pediatric 
Dr. David Smith, who founded the 
Haight-Ashbury Free Medical Clinic; Dr. 
Lester Grinspoon of Har 
Marijuana Reconsidered; Dr. Nor 
Zinherg, also of Harvard, a noted re- 
John Finkuor, who 
o as the deputy 


1, who wrote 


an 


searcher and author 
retired a few years a 
director of the old Bureau of Narcotics 
and Dangerous Drugs but who now speaks 
out for decriminalization. 

PLAYBOY: Do most people who are active 
in the reform movement smoke 
STROUP: Most do but by no means all. ve 
visited about 40 states. and smoked in all 
of them, often along with young doctors, 
lawyers and legislators who аге support- 
ing reform. There was a time in January 
of 1974, when | arrived in Pierre, South 
Dakota, with some of our expert wit- 
nesses. One was Finlator, the country's 


former numbertwo пакс. John enjoys 

[ew drinks, Another was Dr. Whipple, a 
lovely woman, 76 years of age, who con- 
tinucs а full pediatric practice while Јес 
turing as a clinical professor of pediatric 
at Georgetown University School of Medi 
cine. It was a Sunday night, and about 20 
degrees below zero. and as soon as we'd 
checked into our motel rooms, John and 
Dorothy said they were going down to the 
et a drink, I said 1 thought I'd just 
stay in my room. Well, a few minutes 
later, John called from the lobby and said, 
“There's по bar—this damn town is dry 
on Sunday!” 1 said, "Well. my friend. we 
smokers don't have that problem. We 
carry our bar with us.” So they came back 


bar to 


to my room and we all smoked grass. The 
crazy thing was, there were some whiskey 
lobbyists in the next room—the motel 
owner told us about them—and we could 
hear them laughing and drinking booze 
while we marijuana lobbyists laughed and 
smoked grass in our room 

1 remember one time lue in 1972 
when D was in Texas and Fd been out 
smoking the night before. The next alter- 
noon, we were touring the Texas state 


prison, talking to those poor bastards who 
were iu there for ten 10 twenty years es 
га 


^з what it's 


sentially for doing the same thi 
done the night before. So thi 
all about—fighting the injustice of people 
locked in prison lor getting high 

PLAYBOY: 15 that your basic motivation, 
out 


ge at the fact that people are being 
jailed Tor smokin ijuanaz 

STROUP: Certainly that’s an outage, but 
it goes even deeper than that. The fact 
is that most smokers don't go to jail. 
But we're still an oppressed min 
Ther 
subject to the arbitrary power of any cop 
on the street. Г can assure you that I feel 
the same emotional outrage when T hear 


s а loss of human dignity. You're 


some I 
I should be subject to arrest that a black 
person or a woman does when he or she's 
being denied equal rights. 

PLAYBOY: Are all those. people in Texas 


Такову discussing whether or not 


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out of prison now? 
STROUP: Most of them arc. In 1973, Texas 
reduced possession from a felony with a 
possible lile sentence to a i 
months in jail, We got a provision in the 
bill that made it possible for those then 
prison to apply for resentencing under 
the new law; in other words, you applied 
the new penalties to people who'd been 
mprisoned under the old law—but the 
Texas Court of Criminal Appeals, in a 
really shoddy decision, struck down the 
resentencing provision, Finally, due lar 
ly to the efforts of then-Representative 
Ronald Earle, Governor Dolph Briscoe set 
wp Project Star, a parole program for 
offenders. It took several 
but more than 500 prisoners 
n released. 

PLAYBOY: To pick up the thread of our 
chronology: 
STROUP: Where were we? 
PLAYBOY: Orcgon w 
decriminalize, in 197: 
1974, then th 
a 1975. 
STROUP: "That's rigli 
we knew that several state legislatures 
close to decriminalization and, as it 
ned out. Alaska was the first to act. 
PLAYBOY: What happened up there? 
STROUP: There was crucial leadership by 
onc young state ator, Terry Miller, a 
conservative Republican who had previ- 
ously sponsored a rightto privacy consti- 
ional amendment. People understood 
t he wasn't a spokesman for the drug 
culture but truly interested. in ind 
Oregon, you had. 
ndependent-minded society, 
new ideas. So the bill passed 
providing for a 5100 fine. but the 
govemor, а Republican. named Jay S$. 
Hammond, threatened to veto й. We 
quickly flew Dr. Ungerleider and Horton 
Alaska and they talked to the governo 
and то the head of the state police, who'd 
been а leader of the opposition, and by 
the time they finished, the governor had 
decided not to veto the bill. 
PLAYBOY: Aud then ihe state 
court stepped. 
STROUP: Shortly after the bill passed. 
the Alaska Supreme Court held una 
mously that under the state constitution, 
п individual's right хо privacy included 
the right to grow m: and smoke 
privately. The cou "The Пес of 
marijuana on the idual are not seri- 
ous enou justify ern, 
least as compared with the far more 
dangerous effects of alcohol, barbiturates 
and amphetamines.” So Alaska is now the 
only stite where 
it smoke it 


You pick it up. 
Ше first to 
о states acted i 

m to break loose 


supreme 


grow 


constitutional issues in a dozen Fede 
amd state courts, 

PLAYBOY: And they probably grow lousy 
grass. 

STROUP: 1 ha 


ктт had the р of test- 


their local product, but they claim it's 
good. It's а short growing season, but they 
have that 24-hour day up there. 

PLAYBOY: Alaska white? 

STROUP: Well, they claim to grow cabbages 
double size, so who knows about mari 
juana? 1 think there'll be than oil 
coming down that new pipeline. 

PLAYBOY: Which states acted next? 

STROUP: Both Maine and Colorado passed 
decriminalization bills in. June of 1975, 
California was a more complicated politi 
cal batle. To begin with, you originally 
had Governor Ronald Reagan and the 
repressive mentality he represents. During 
term, he vetoed three bills to. lower 
ijuma penalties, зо you still had a 
law that permitted a ten-year felony sen 
tence for possession of a single joint. Over 
100,000 Californians cach year were re- 
ceiving felony records for minor mari 
juana offenses. 
PLAYBOY: You'd H 
tions in. Californ 
you? 

STROUP: Oh, yes. That was the year that 
Amorphia, the counterculture group 
started by Mike Aldrich—who happened 
to have the first Ph.D. in marijuana folk- 
lore—ánd the California Marijuana Ini- 
founded by Bay Area 
Paoli, collected 310. 000 signatures to 


d some political frustra- 
back in 1972, һай 


a dectiminalization referendum on the 
lot Now, that was a major 
vement in itself, but when it came 

the i we had some 


differences in. style. were forming, 
groups with names like 


а Jocks for Joints. 


(d in one 
softball 
with the Jocks for Joins to play st 
against some straight guys, to prove that 
grays doesn't impair you physically. That 
sort of thing drove me up the wall. We 
at NORML were trying to make п 
ї а serious issue and they were going 
to settle it with a softball game. It was a 
dassic conflict between the middle-c 
reformers and the со: culturists. 
PLAYBOY: What was the outcome’ 
STROUP: The initiative w defeated. by 
about two to one. Which is a bad defeat 
in terms of conventional polities. bui 
was still impressive that almost 3,000,000, 
people voted for a decriminalization ini- 
ve in 1972. And the public deb 
resulted during the 
helped b 
lightened public view about marijuan 
PLAYBOY: Eventually, you merged with 
Amorphia, didn't you? 
STROUP: Yes. Its president, 
nell. who, incident 
worked in the Nixon White House 


they wanted to sponsor 


Gordon Brow- 


ly, prior to 1970. had 
ad 


laer for Rea; became NORMIE 
West Coast coordinator, and Mark Heut- 
moved to Washington. D.C., t0 be- 


come NORML's business man: 
PLAYBOY: So in three years you'd gone 
n Jocks for Joints to a victory in the 


the process. Аз 1975 began, California 
had a new governor, Jerry Brown, who 
favored decriminalizauon, and by the 
spring, a decriminalization bill was-mov- 
ing through the legislature right on sched- 
ule. It passed the traditionally conservative 
state senate the sponsorship of 
George Moscone, who was the Democratic 
jority leader and then became mayor of 
ancisco. Then it went over to the 
more liberal assembly, where our sponsor 
was Alan Sicroty, a Democrat from West 
Los Angeles and a longtime supporter of 
decriminalization, and where we thought 
we'd have no problem. But we were wrong. 
PLAYBOY: Why? 

We underestimated the con- 
servative Republicans from Southern Cal- 
ifornia and how far they would go to play 
politics with the issue. We needed 41 
votes to pass the bill and we were count- 
ing on four Republican votes, along with 
37 Demoaatic votes. But a Republican 
maverick, а John Birch type from Orange 
County named John B. voked the 
unit rule on his delegation. That meant 
that because two thirds of the Republi- 
cans opposed the bill, the others had to 
oppose it, too, or rik being drummed 
out of the party. Several younger Republi- 
cans who ted to vote with us, some 
of whom were smokers themselves, were 
aguished by this, but they weren't. will- 
ing to defy their party leadership. 
PLAYBOY: What was the Republican 


with 


leader's motive? 

STROUP: Well, to begin with, he was an 
absolutely incredible character, right out 
of the Thirties. He talked about mari- 
jeana addicts and sexu orgies—he be- 


lieved the whole “reefer madness” thing. 
Beyond that, he thought he saw а good 


political issue. Most Democrats had pre- 
viously supported a sexual-rights bill, and 
he thought he could brand the Democrats 
as the party of gay sex and marij 
he had to keep all the Republi 
line to make it stick. 

PLAYBOY: Did he? 

STROUP: On the first roll call, we got only 
ЗВ votes, all Democratic, out of the 41 
we needed. The bill was tabled until we 
could come up with three more votes, 
PLAYBOY: Was that when you went out to 
California? 

STROUP: Yes. | spent three weeks there 
before the second vote was taken. 
PLAYBOY: Doing what? 

STROUP: The first thing I did was to con- 
с 


tact some prominent. Democrats 
fornia, some celebrities, some businessmen, 
some who smoke, some who'd given 
money to NORML in the past, and T 
made sure they called or sent a telegram 
to the Democratic leaders in the assembly 
to let them know that it wasn't just a freak 
issue, it was a priority issue with the kind 
of people who give money to Democrats. 
We then pitched our argument to the 
Democrats in Sacramento: “Look, 105,000 


people were arrested for marijuana in 
California last year and il you don't re- 
lease four votes, itll happen again next 
year." I don't know if they were swayed 
by the merits of the argument, by the 
state-wide letter-writing campaign our Cal- 
ifornia осе had coordinated, by the influ- 
ential Democrats who were calling the 
capitol, or by the calls that Governor 
Brown made; but when the second vote 
ame, four Democrats miraculously sup- 
ported the bill who hadn't supported it 
before, and we won, 42-34, without a 
single Republican vote. So now, it’s the 
only misdemeanor in the California code 
for which you can't be arrested, only cited 
and fined up to $100. 
PLAYBOY: And, finally, you got то Ohio. 
STROUP: That's right, and I think it’s 
other mileston 
PLAYBOY: Why 
STROUP: Because it’s traditionally such a 
conservative state, You'd expect us to win 
Colorado or California, which have 
well-defined marijuana cultures; but when 
you win in Ohio, you're moving into 
middle America, the real heartland, 
PLAYBOY: How did it happen: 
STROUP: Essentially, it happened when we 
were able to mobilize conservative polit- 
ical support. 

One of the most dramatic things that 
happened was Art Linkletter's supporting 
decriminalization before the Ohio legisla- 
ture. His daughter fell—or jumped—out 


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PLAYBOY 


70 


a window and 
supposedly while 


as killed several y 
using LSD, and 
Чет 
sislators. 

ny young pcople to jai 
1 not soft on drugs, I'm solt on peopl 
I think the Ohio vici 


ter 


for 
We've 


y opens up the 
see how Illinois 
her Midwestern 


1976, an clection year 
һ extremely dillicult time [о 
s. when Sot 
joined the list. 
PLAYBOY: WI 
deaiminilize next? 

STROUP: 1 expect the rest of the upper 
Midwest to pass bills this yeur—that would 
include Wisconsin and Michigan and pos- 
. Hawaii апа Wash 
ton should act—that would complete the 
West Coast states. On the East Coast, we 
hope to win Massachuseus, New Jersey, 
ania and New York, New York. 
one of the worst marijuan 
the country and one of the 
concentrations of smokers. is our 
beroue priority. Frank — Fioramonti, 
NORMIS New York coordinator, is 
optimistic about getting a bill through this 
year. Jn the Southwest, we 
our «Поп in Arizona and New Mexico. 
Beyond that. the Midwest and the South 
will take longer but are beginning to 
move. We expect 10 have bills considered 
at Jeast 30 states this year. 
PLAYBOY: We've been talking about your 
successes, bur you've had your setbacks, 
too. Washington, D.C., 
STROUP: li sure was. The new D.C. city 
council first voted lor decriminalization by 
cight to four. We thought that was it. But 
under pressure from Congressman Charles 
Diggs. the chairman of the House Com- 


states do you expect to 


num 


e turgeti 


was one. 


mittee o һе , and 
from а coalition of Baptist ministers, the 

council reversed itself on a second 
vote and tabled the bill inde! 


remains. ill 
2500 people аге need- 
rested, We are go 
y year in the District 

PLAYBOY: You seem to rely heavily on 
media exposure for your lobbying efforts. 
STROUP: "has right. 1 can't go to а Sen- 


puters, millions 
ions of organized voters. 
n leverage. comes from 
ag better informed than our opponents 
and getting the faas out through the 
media. 

PLAYBOY: Have the media been recept 
STROUP: Yes, I think they want to do 


air 


job. Certainly, a good number of younger 
reporters are smokers. The trouble was 
that for. s you heard only th 


of the story. One of 
est jobs is to counter false 


ad misleading 


statements about mari 
juana, particularly medi nis. 
PLAYBOY: Despite the m commis 


that moderate 
mless, we continue 


sion’s report, which sid 


па usc was 


al stud- 
impo- 


10 see newspaper reports of m 
ies that жау marijuana n 
tent or causes birth defects or whatever. 
How do you explain this? 

STROUP: The fact is that of the hundreds 
of researchers in this country and abroad 
who are studying marijuana, there are a 
few who are simply antimarijuana. Their 
research always supports iheir precon- 
ceived notions. ‘Traditionally, they've gone 
before Senator James Бахили subcom- 
mittce and we've had another day of hear 
s on the drug 
says is turning young people into ^^ 
zombics.” But upon examination, almost 
all of these studies prove to be incon. 
clusive or misleading, We've had a lot of 
succes in knocking them down and dis 
couraging others, The fact is that since 
the marijuins-commission report in 1972, 
every reputable study has confirmed. its 
finding about mariju 
serious physical or mental ill elfecis. This 


kes me 


"Since the marijuana 
commission report in 1972, 
every reputable study has 
confirmed its finding about 


marijuana’s causing no 
serious physical or 
mental ill effects.” 


includes studies by Consumers Union, the 
Drug Abuse Council, the National Insti- 
tute on Drug Abuse and the U. S. Army. 


PLAYBOY: ‘Ihe 


STROUP: Yes. The Army spent $382,000 10 
have Dr. J. H. Mendelson of Harvard 


comprehensive 


Medical School conduct 


seven to ten joints a day!—would hurt 
young men. Well, for better or worse, his 
finding was that it didn’t. And do you 
know what the Army did with that report? 
Sat on it for 15 months, until NOR ML’s 
chicf counsel, Peter. Meyers, filed à. Frec- 
dom of Information Act request to sec it. 
Needless to хау, if the study had shown 
that marijuana was harmful, the Army 
would have released it immediately, proba- 
bly at a press conference. 

PLAYBOY: We've discussed state legislation, 
What abour the effort to get a decrim- 


inalization bill through the U. 5. Congress? 
strour: We've made very little. progress 
there. Dea ation hus run up 


inst the seniority system, In the S 
Eastland won't let it out of his Judicia 
Committee. In the House, it has been 


continue to talk t0 Rogers 
Florida 


nd to urgi 
embers to write to him. He's not 


opposed to decrimina say 
he doesn’t think his constituents are quite 
ready for it yet. Realistically. we expect 


the first seriou jon in Congress 
du the current session. 

PLAYBOY: Who have been your main sup- 
porters in Congress? 

STROUP: In the House, Ed Kodi, а Demo. 


from New York. He conceived of the 


Commission on nd iniro- 
duced fi ization bill, 
which now has about 30 cosponsors in the 


House. On the Sei 
New Yor 


ate side, Jacob Javits of 
who served on the mariju: 
commission, and Birch Bayh of Indiana 
have been our strongest supporters. 
һ others including Gary Hart, Alan 

aylord Nelson. Floyd Haskell 
d Ed Brooke. Hf decriminalization came 
10 а vole, we might have the support of 
10 Senators, 
don't have yet are the major conservatives 
such as Barry Goldwater. Once we pick 
them up. we'll win in Congress, just as we 
1 Ohio and Colorado when we got 
conservative support. E think the conserva- 
tive politicians understaud. the issue now, 
but they don't think their cc 
ready t0 accept 
Actually, a tu 
кош say the Gove 


mostly Libs but what we 


wo 


iservative 


you got 


а pretty strai 
ground, have 
an arrow. D grew up 
on a farm in southern Illinois in a society 
that was rural, redneck, Republican and 
n Baptist. My father was a f 
modest building contractor 
finally à Government housing bureauc 
My mother works ау а nurses aide. We 
were really dirt poor, but we didn’t know 
it, because so was everyone clse we knew 
It was a society that thought. pleasure was 


mer, 
ad 


sin and you had to suller your way into 
heaven. 
PLAYBOY: Then you went off to college 


and discovered pleasure. 

Right. I went off to the Univer 
of Hlinois at Champaign-Urbana 
ol course, T thought was the pim 
academic excellence. E had been nea 
top of my class in high school, and had 
been vice-president of my class, so a lrater 


y took me in and | spent the next 
couple of y covering booze and 
women and t to become Joe Colleg 


But having 
problems, we believe. 


ry 


ty brother and 
et drunk and Gull a 
piis pice ind have them deliver a pizza 
10 the sorority house across the 
then when the deliveryman would 
up to the sorority-house door, we'd rip off 


sue 


couple of pizzas from the back of his 
truck. But eventually, we got caught and 
1 was put on probation. 

At that point, P didn't know what 


and I never thought of 
Actually, the first drug 1 ever 
used was uppers—amphetamines. Wed 
get them from the football players in 
my fraternity. They used them to play 
football and we used them to study for 
exams, But it never occurred to us о 
use them for fu 
PLAYBOY; А boozer, а pizza thief, 
freak—what came next? 

STROUP: "The summer after my sophomore 
year, I was in summer school and | was 


using 


speed 


living in a house offcampus. 1 was then 
vice-president of my fraternity and ме 
decided to have a rush party for new 


c house 1 was rci 
т 
the fraternity houses. So 
we had our illegal party, but one of the 
rushees was the son of a campus cop, and 
he turned us in. Since 1 was already on 
probation, they kicked me out of school 
lor “conduct unbecoming a student.” Try 
explaining that 10 your Southern Baptist 
parents. 

PLAYBOY: What did you do then? 

STROUP: Wi could I Фо? I joined the 
Peace Corps. They sent me to New Mex- 
ico for training and I eventually figured 
out that my maii а spe 
group of luck-ups of various sorts. And 
they were t that we 
were—to build adobe shithouses in rural 
Colombia. Well, Fd just spent 18 years on 
а farm, and there was no way 1 was going 
10 spend iwo years building adobe shit- 
houses in rural Colombia. 
PLAYBOY: So you became 
dropout? 

STROUP: Right. 1 wrote the Peace Corps а 
telling them exactly 
fucked up I thought they were—that was 
my first official lashing out at the system, 
1 guess, the first time 1 thought maybe the 
system was wrong instead of me. But 1 
still couldn't get back into the L 
of Illinois, so 1 finally found a little t 
ers college iu 
would take 


pledges so we 


d women, which were 


Peace Corps 


how 


‚ И was in a dry county 
le spending money 
ng whiskey in from 


се. Any 
finally let me back i i 
When 1 graduated in the summer of 
1965, 1 hopped into my car and started 
driving cast. 1 was so glad to get out of 
the fucking M I didn't know 
what to do. 

PLAYBOY: You looked over your under- 
graduate career as pizza thief, campus 


lor my senior ye 


troublemaker, Peace Corps dropout and 
bootlegger, and you decided your best 
move was to go to Washington, study law 
and enter politics. Is that correct? 

STROUP: Well, you could put it that way. 
ics, and law was 


get my law degree, practice in Washing- 
ton for a couple of years, then go back 
10 southern Illinois and run for Congress. 
accepted by Georgetown. University 
Law School and graduated in 1968, and I 
had a good offer to go back home and 
but by then, ГА decided I 
t 1o go back to southern Ili- 
istead, 1 took a job as a lawyer 
with the President's Commission on Prod- 


by Congres, that examined 
household products to decide which ones 
were dangerous and should be taken off 
the market. 1 got to set up hearings, select 
wime: testimony for the commis- 
sioners and stimulate press coverage of 
the hearings. It was a good education in 
public-interest law. 
PLAYBOY: How did you progres from 
product safety to marijuana? 

STROUP: It was a combination of things. 
A friend of mine got busted for pos 
session of marijuana me 10 


es, write 


and asked 


"Noone was doing serious, 
realistic work on [marijuana 
reform]. It was as if, in 

1965 
there was a war in Vietnam 


, you'd discovered 


but nobody had started 
anantiwar movement." 


looking around 
na—how many 
its eflecis 


what 
there just wasn't a 
emmen putting out outdated, exa 
ated antimarjuana claims and, on the 
other sid few Tim Leary types 
who were saying n а was the an- 
swer to the world’s problems, but you 
had по one doing serious, realistic work 
on what public policy should be toward 
marijuana smokers, 1 couldn't believe it. 
Jt was as if, in 1965, you'd discovered 
there was a war in Vietnam but nobody 
had started an antiwar movement. 

You'd started smoki 


by then, 


STROUP: Yes. The first time I smoked w: 
law school, which seems approp 
idn't even get high that first 
fter I jomed the productsafety 
commission, a fellow gave me some grass 


d that weekend 1 was playing bridge 


with friends and I said, "Hey, let's smoke 
some marijuana. | tried it once and it 
doesn't do anything to you." So we pro- 


ceeded to pass five or six joints around 
the bridge table, reassuring ourselves that 
nothing was happening. We didn't rcalize 
at a time delay was involved. Then one 
of the players started to laugh а lot and 
everybody quit caring about the bridge 


ppening. 
PLAYBOY: How did your friend's arrest 
lead to ХОК М1? 

STROUP: Well, | got my friend acquitted, 
because the police had searched his са 
illegally As far as NORML was со 
cerned, I began to think about a middle- 
interest approach to the 
1 talked to some friends 
who worked lor Nader and they 
couraged me. 1 did some reading: John 
Kaplan's Marijuana: The New Prohibi- 
tion and Ramsey Clark's Crime in Ameri- 
са. both of which call for legalization. 
PLAYBOY: You eventually went to 
Clark. didn't you 
STROUP: Yes. From his book, he seemed 
to be one of the few big-time politicians 
who really cared about people. litle 
people. So 1 called his secretary and even- 
ily convinced her he should sce me. 
That was late in 1970. And he was tre- 
mendously helpful. 

PLAYBOY: How? 

STROUP: For one thing, 1 had the idea of 


see 


the name, NORML, but to stand for 
National O ion for the Repeal of 
Marijuana Laws. He comectly pointed 


ош that repeal was a scare word and tha 
1 could more accurately use reform, still 
keep my m and sound like part 
of the tra 1 reformist movement this 
country had always supported. But. more 
important was just that he wok me seri- 
ously, that he thought my idea was not 
an ет 


ke but a 
п would таке, 
His attitude w You're 26 у old 
what have you got to lose?” Well, 
house | was id P might lose and 
to support. but ultimately, he was 
right. When 1 left his office, ] was fired up. 
PLAYBOY: But you still didn't have any 
money. 

STROUP: TI ghi. In October of 1970, 
I contacted nine or ten small, tradition 
ly liberal foundations, but they all turned. 
n't ready to see mari- 
мис. Then, one d: 
ked if Fd tried the 
1 didn't even. know 
there was a Playboy Foundation. But I 
wrote to them. and we exchanged calls 
nd eventually they sent a 
pron 10 talk to me and two 
nds who were helping me, Larry 
Schott, one of the top people at the 
productsafety | commis 
DuBois, the. writei 


decision 


juam 
а friend of mine 
ауроу Foundation 


heyre both 


now 
(continued on page 152) 


71 


72 


dont you think а sex goddess has feelings, too? 


HE POS |= 
CELLULOID 
TRISTESSE OF 


RAQUELWELCH 


personality 


By O'CONNELL DRISCOLL 


= DAY before the Academy Awards. 
small crowd of people standing 
ain outside the stage«loor en- 
Mus nter, in downtown 
has been falling all 
ind. now, at dusk, the city seems to be 
vanishing in a B-movie mist 

Across the street from the theater, an old 
man is sitting on a bench in front of the 
county courthouse. His hat is tipped for- 
Ч on his head in the suggestion of an 
days flamboyance. Pigeons are 
shing in the puddles of rain water that 
lie at the old man's feet. The old man in 
the hat regards the pigeons in silence as 
rogantly up to the tips of his 
nd-white sneakers, then turn and 


in a light 
trance to the 
Los Angeles. The ra 


ith a clatter, the door to the 
theater opens and two men walk out. 

"Is it anybody?” someone at the rear calls 
nybody up there see?” 
The two men emerge from the building as 


ILLUSTRATION BY DENNIS MAGDICH 


PLAYBOY 


74 


on a mission of great im- 
ase into the crowd: they 
aring plastic raincoats with 
atification tags clipped to the 


if they ar 
portance. T 
are both wi 
colored id 
front 


" someone else 


ys. “They're 


"Wouldn't you know 
aloud. She pulls a handkerch 
sleeve of her coat and blows he 


woman says 
1 from the 
nose with 


nobody come 
d look up at the 


The wo men who 
out to the sidewalk 
darkened skies. 
Think it’s goin 
says to the other. 


" the other 
man says. The man is carrying а bottle of 
orange soda in his hand; he tilts the bot- 
long d 
he expl. 
He looks up at the sky and smiles. 

bitch.” he says. “Lot of nerv- 
this town tod; know 


'essers 


man sneezes violently: he 
wipes his nose wi k of his hand. 
“You know what 1 think?” he says. He 
clears his throat and spits into the street. 
^I think it’s God's litle way of pising 
on Hollywood.” 
Hah,” the other m 
to please I 
“Excuse me,” а woman 
The voice belongs to a short, heavy-set 
woman with red hair and galoshes. A 
small, ruby-colored heart hanging from 
chain Lies pressed against the upper slope 
of her enormous bosom like a stranded 
mountain climl 
Are you with the televis she says. 
Yes, ma'am,” the first man says. He 
points to the identification tag on his 
raincoat, “That's what it says. 
The woman takes a step toward the 
а and stares at him with detern 
tion: thick swirls of Live low si 
round her eyes like the 
1 couldn't help Ы 
says, “that yo 


This idea 


п say: 
эсе! 


voice 


ater. 
"The lady's got an ey 
with the orange soda says. He gives the 


1 in the 


joshes а toothy smile. 


ng to 


“Well, then, 
tell me somethin 


maybe you boys could 
” the red-haired wom- 


“Maybe you could tell me who's 


an says. 
in there 
“Who are you looking for," I 


“specifically?” 
“Oh, you know,” the woman says. 

Movie people. 
g says. “Well, we have a 


lot of movie people in there, don't we, 


urely do,” Ace 
favorite, sweetheart? 
е galoshes blushes 


movie person, 
television per- 
He's insid 


X" Irving says. “ 
son, How 


The w e 
“No, 

someone, you know, more recent. 
“Hmmm.” Irving says. 


“Well. look her y 
He points down the sidewalk to the ga 


a movie person in sig 

“Where?” the red-ha 
s Ace's arm, pull 
Who is it? Vell me who it is! 

“Someone's coming n 
out shrilly. She quickly produces an Ir 
stamatic camera from her purse. 

The crowd comes to Life with all the 
urgency ol a fire company responding to 
а four-alarm blaze. People jostle one an- 
other they push forward and fill the 
stage-door area, creating а human b; 
cade to the building's entrance. A lady's 
handbag is knocked from her grasp and 
the contents go crashing onto th 

small. flowered lip- 
10 the gutter and 
€ а Corpse in the tiny stream. 
ved cop with a walki kie 
his belt comes out of the 
Ucship under pow 
people away in dit 


ferent direction 

“It's а woma 
(d a man.” 
s another we 


^p see 


€ Says, 


an there. Two 


things.” 
I see her!" the red 


with the 
Ross 
“Way off, Kady.” Ir y 
The three pproach the 
theater slowly but with no visible 
ision. 
ks on the inside, closest to 
about him with 
the casual interest of someone taking а 
stroll through the zoo. The woman who 
rying things walks on the outside, 
She clutches her be- 
longings close to her, as if they might be 
wrestled from her arms by а band of 


new iu 


ol appreh 
Th 


man w 


closest to the stree 


urchi 


plain beige raincoat. She wears an un- 
terned scarf on h head. 
t the mob in her path 
of thin, gold.fr. 
Her face shows mo expre 


er. 


straight ahead 
through 


God! Raquel! 
“I've lost my pen,” someone else 
“Does anybody have a p 
"Goddamn © 
bled over 
lens. “Goddamn 
camera! 
Raquel and her two companions ar- 
ve Hush with the crowd and begin t 
make their way to the entrance of th 
building. Flashbulbs pop in the mist, like 
miniature The cooleyed cop is 


vs 


s dow 
ach 
fuel 


ra." a m 
his auempt to a 
son-of-a-bitch 


novae. 


holding people back with iwo out 
stretched arms: the walkietalkie on his 
belt crackles with the sound of a disem- 
bodied voice. 

iter loves you!" а woman is 


ign this for my daughter! 
A small man with dark complexion 
d 


suit that hangs on 
shroud. He holds 


the man who is wi 
Raquel say is ish accent. 
He smiles alfably at the man in the shi 
mering suit, "Could we make a litle 
room lor the ladies here?” 

The 
ing. He opens the book 
Iront of him in his upt 
a deacon serving High Ma 

The book is open to a page that 
the heading: wetcu, &AQUrL. There is a 
phical paragraph framed by 
| photographs. The most promi 
these shows Raquel dressed in а 

sts spill 
the confines of her 
pout her head 


nd holds it in 
wed palms 1 


voluptuously o 


halter top: her 1 


frenzied dis: 
her eyes beckon 
Raquel looks dow! 
over the top of he 
it for several moments, seemi 
out comprehension 
ture leers back at her lewdly 
he cop with the walkie-talkie ad- 
vances on the small man in the ill-fitting 
it and takes him by the arm. 
ОК, Butch,” he tells him. “Let's get 
it in ge: 
rhe cop pi 


at the photograph 
asses. She stares a 
gly with: 
The face in the pic 


the small man’s arm be 

twirls him around 

о the crowd. The book 

the man’s hands and falls to 
(continued on page 156) 


a 
ed Е 


“Tue never had any trouble getting men to stand up for me." 


Р = o great head coach in the sky, help us 
go out and win one for st. clochard 


ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN O'LEARY 


fiction 
- CHANGING PLANES in Chicago, Father Buddy Hovacks, 


Я б n IRSE - et a balding, crewcut priest in a black suit too small 
for him across the shoulders, stopped at a shelf йыл to cail ahead. As his connection was being made, he 
noticed a proper, smooth-faced old run on a folding stool beside the flight-insurance counter across the way. 
When anyone stopped to buy insurance, she would speak to him, describing her order’s training school for 
girls in Nicaragua and asking him to take out a second policy with the school as beneficiary. As Father Hovacks 
watched, she was refused three times. But then a middle-aged man in a bright suit and a brighter shirt obliged. 


"God bless you," said the nun. 
Father Hovacks made his call, picked up the scuffed suitcase with its 35-pound assortment of cheeses and headed 


» 
o 
m 
ГА 
< 
a 
Li 


78 


for the departure gates. Though the Pere- 
grine Order to which he belonged wasn't 
famous for its theologians, Father Ho- 
vacks rather mistrusted that "God bless 
you" As he boarded his plane, he 
looked around for the man in the bright 
suit and was more pleased than not when 
he didn't find him. Nevertheless, settling 
into his seat, he made a mental note to 
mention Sister when he got back. Father 
Hillman, a late vocation who had come 
to the order from advertising, had turned 
the Sunday breakfast table into an in- 
formal think-tank from which was to 
come the great moneymaking idea that 
would allow the Peregrine work to con- 
tinuc. Whenever the flow of ideas fal- 
tered, Father Hillman would hold up his 
left hand h the fingers half closed, as 
if around a boule or a box. "Father 
Perry's what, Fathers?” he would plead. 
And every head would lean toward him 
across the coffee cups, as if tying to 
read the ingredients on a label. Father 
Perry’s What? Well, Father Bellman 
would be glad to know that new avenues 
for raising money were still being found, 
even today. Not that the Peregrines 
could use the flight-insurance idea. The 
Rule of Saint Clochard forbade begging. 
Saint Clochard had founded the order 
in the Tenth Century for the holy pur- 
pose of building bridges for pilgrims 
traveling beneath Charles's Wain to the 
sacred tomb of Zebedee's son at Santiago 
de Compostela. The ‘Trolls of God, men 
called them, because of their custom of 
sleeping under the bridges they built. 
(Their work with tunnels and the nick- 
name The Holy Molies were to come 
later.) The early Peregrines were a blunt- 
fingered, bandylegged, dusty-robed crew 
who supported themselves and their work 
by quarrying extra stone for sale and 
took their pleasure from the hard, self. 
reliant life of Saint Clochard's rule. Each 
Peregrine bridge was a perfect creation. 
Each seemed to have come first and the 
river afterward. In fact, the Gesta Ro- 
manorum recounts a story titled “How 
the Dordogne and the Lot Battled to 
Flow Beneath Saint Clochard's Bridge at 
Plon 1 How the Saint Reconciled 
"Them. 
But stone lasts forever; and though the 
Peregrines turned to other routes and 
other shrines, by the middle of the 18th 
Century there were just no more rivers to 
bridge. The order went into a decline 
until saintly ingenuity led Molyneux, 
12th Peregrine superior-general, to inter- 
pret the word bridge in the rule to in- 
dude tunnels (“for what are tunnels but 
pilgrim bridges underground?"), ushering 
in an cra of great Peregrine activity 
throughout Europe. Growing mushrooms 
for sale in the subterranean dim behind 
them, they pierced the Pyrences at 
Gavarnie and Canfranc, the Alps at 
Mont Cenis and near the Little Saint 


Bernard. According to legend, during this 
last undertaking, the delving friars broke 
through into an unexpected valley 
warmed by hot springs and inhabited by 
a stonegray herd of elephants of the 
Carthaginian breed whose elders had 
known Hamilcar Barca's oneeyed son. 
Praising God, the Peregrines had scaled 
up the entrance and left the beasts in 
peace. (Four centuries later, this incident 
helped inspire a famous American tall 
tale when Father Edmund O'Grady, 38th 
Peregrine superior general, was plucked 
out of a seat in the bleachers at a Her- 
ring Brothers circus in Cairo, Illinois, and 
set down in the best seat in the house by 
a grateful stray from that same Alpine 
herd.) Under three superiors general, the 
Peregrines labored at their greatest work, 
a tunnel beneath the English Channel to 
link Chartres and Canterbury, But two 
miles from Dover, the news of Henry 
VIII's apostasy caused them to down 
picks and shovels and march back the 26 
miles to the surface, emerging as pallid 
as their mushrooms into hard times and 
religious wars. The location of the tunnel 
entrance was lost in the turmoil that fol- 
lowed. Napoleon searched for it in vain. 
Others believed the Peregrines guarded 
the secret. In fact, Buddy Hovacks' first 
boyhood encounter with the order was оп 
that very day in World War Two when 
the self-effacing Father Andreas Bauer 
had been unmasked by men in raincoats 
who stuffed hi aluting and calling out 
Hitler's name, into the back seat of their 
official car. 

By the time of the general council of 
the order in 1875, the Peregrines survived 
only in Ireland, where they built stiles 
over walls and followed the tinker’ 
trade. It was then, gathered in council 
under a bridge across the Shannon, that 
the monks of Saint Clochard decided to 
emigrate to America. 

There they found abundant rivers to 
bridge and mountains to breach but no 
shrines. A period of getting by and ma 
ing do followed, during which their Jead- 
er, Father O'Grady, who had more than 
a bit of the tinker in him even for an 
Irish Peregrine and was secretly addicted 
to circuses, had his encounter with the 
elephant. It set him thinking that if we 
are all pilgrims on the road of life, then 
surely circus folk are pilgrims more than 
most. So inspired, Father O'Grady peti- 
tioned Rome that the order be allowed to 
take up the task of caring for the spiritual 
needs of the people of the big top. With- 
waiting for a reply, he led the Perc- 
s off after the Herring Brothers 
circus. 

For several years, they labored as roust- 
abouts, tending the stock and the tents, 
appearing as cowled marchers in the pa- 
rades through town. "They worked hard, 
practiced every virtue and hoped to be 
asked about God. But they seldom were. 


Except for a few like Buddy Hovacks’ 
grandmother (she had not yet met the 
band cornettist who would win her heart 
and prospect for gold), the circus people 
did not exchange their spangled tights 
and gilded uniforms for more solemn. 
Massgoing finery. Only Father O'Grady 
was blind to the order’s languishing, for 
Louis Herring had let him understudy 
Werner the Human Cannonball, whose 
trajectory in flight, the priest reasoned, 
was a kind of bridge from here to there. 

Then Monsignor Barducci arrived on 
the scene disguised as am organgrinder 
with false mustaches and a monkey. Hav- 
ing gotten around to Father O'Grady's 
petition at last, Rome was surprised, for 
it had long believed the Peregrines ex- 

nc. Barducci had been dispatched at 
once in the role of apostolic visitor to 
look into the health and characi 
order. He had trai 
Че Deep South, where the prev: 
ntiCatholic sentiment had prompted 
his disguise. In Greenwood, Mississippi, 
he left the monkey and the mustaches in 
his hotel room and visited a Herring 
Brothers matinee in the white suit and 
goatee of a plantation owner. He saw the 
Peregrines parade by with decorous, 
downcast eyes during the grand entrance. 
Resisting every attempt by a circus cle- 
phant to pluck him from his box seat and 
deposit him in the bleachers because of 
nce to Scipio Africanus, from 
ct, claim 
descent, he kept his place and saw Father 
O'Grady reappear in the Human. Can- 
nonball’s white riding breeches and 
red-and-striped shirt. (Werner, whose 
trajectory Father O'Grady so admired, 
was a belicver in omens. He believed tele- 
grams meant bad news and bellhops 
meant telegrams. When he saw an un- 
earthly little face in mustaches and a pill- 
box hat peering in through his tent flap, 
he had decided then and there to take the 
afternoon off.) Unfortunately, Father 
O'Grady's standin flight proved to be a 
bridge from here to the hereafter with a 
stopover at a wayward tent pole. Follow- 
ing the funeral, Monsignor Barducci re- 
vealed his identity to the Peregrines and 
nnounced that the order's circus days 
were over. 

Twenty years later (the Peregrines had 
spent much of the time digging wine 
cellars for the Christian Brothers on the 
West Coast), Buddy Hovacks' grandmoth- 
er had decded the order 300 barren, hilly 
Colorado acres containing a rambling 
Victorian house with two square, shingled 
towers and a promise of gold. Though 
the monks never did find The Lost 
Bearded Lady Gold Mine, they did un- 
cover a substantial agate deposit. By the 
irties, they were producing those 
manycolored auto-gcarshift knobs that 

(continued on page 112) 


| Ie is no accident that 
| Alex Comfort modeled 
| The Joy of Sex on a 
cookbook. Unfortu- 
nately, he forgot to 
mention food. We are 
what we eat. À child 
| explores the world 
| around him by putting 
objects into his mouth. 
He is looking for a 
taste of something 
fine. In time, he de- 
| velops other tech- 
niques for judging the 
world. Sight and fancy 


WHEREIN А MAN AND 
А МАР) SATISFY THEIR HUNGER 


. PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEFF DUNAS 


clothes. Sound and | 
eloquent words. Our | 
most basic and reliable. 
sense is neglected. | 
This is the age of the | 
fast-food franchise. | 
Perhaps it would be 
wise to consider the 
habits of our fore- 
fathers. They under- 
stood that a feast was 
a form of foreplay— 
that which satisfies 
hunger awakens other 
senses, other cravings. 
So feast your eyes. 


Desire must be decanted 
and allowed to breathe be- 
fore it can be consumed. 
One must savor her fra- 
grance, swirl the taste of 
her on the tongue. The 
beuquet is rich, intoxicat- 
ing. This will be a vintage 
evening. Robust, hearty, 
with a subtle and intri- 
guing aftertaste. (The man 
who wrote Drink to Me 
Only with Thine Eyes un- 
doubtedly had a meager 


wine cellar.) She is inex- 
haustible, a cornucopia of 
carnal delights. One drinks 
to quench a thirst that has 
only just arisen. Suddenly, 
there is an awareness of 
other qualities. She is suc- 
culent. Ripe. A source of 
nourishment. This repast 
is past the point of no re- 
turn; and yet, as one can 
EU see, it has only just 

gun. Bon appétit. It is 
guaranteed nonfattening. 


Тһе final course is ready and waiting 
to be carved. She is rare. Tender. À 
delicacy to delight the senses. Food 
is the staff of life, but now another 
staff begins to stir. It is time for the 
beggar's banquet, the essential ingre- 
dient of a balanced diet. Ah, satiation. 


Joe Yack told me: “1 
want that bastard’s head. 
1 want to roll it down 
President Street like a 
bowling ball so everybody 
can see il. . . . Watch- 
ing him die, Га actually 
come.” — JOE LUPARELLI 


STALKING JOE GALLO was a frus- 
trating task, like trying to catch 
a will-o'the-wisp in a botte. 
One of the reasons he was so 
hard to hit was that he fol. 
lowed no particular schedule, 
no daily routine. He changed 
liis plans as often as he made 
them. He set up appoint- 
ments, then failed to kcep them 
or showed up hours or even 
days late. 


CRAZY JOE 
MUST 
DIE! 


article By PAUL S. MESEIL 


the exclusive story of how joe luparelli, 
a jack of all underworld trades 
now living under federal protection, 
arranged the execution of joey gallo 


Gallo had seen almost all 
the gangster movies ever made 
and he loved them all. His fa- 
vorite was Kiss of Death, in 
which mad-dog Tommy Udo 
(Richard Widmark), with a sa- 
distic gleam in his cyes and a 
maniacal laugh, pushes an old 
lady in a wheelchair down a 
steep flight of steps. 

The scene fascinated Joey. 
He felt that was the way gang- 
sters were supposed to behave 
and he did his best to live up 
to the Hollywood image, even 
compiling a wardrobe that 
might have been swiped from 
the Roaring Twenties set. 

In 1950, shortly before his 
21м birthday, Gallo was arrest- 
ed for burglary and possession 


of burglary tools. He swag- 
gered into court in a black, 

striped zoot suit, black 
white tic, stiletto-toed 
shoes and pearl-gray wide- 


brimmed hat. He glared at the. 
judge and bch: 


ed in such an 
that he was sent 
aty Hospital for 


The psychiatrists who 
checked him out conduded he 
was fairly intelligent but " 
capable of understan 


considered him a dangerous 
psychotic, a. paranoid schizo- 


nic with homicidal tend- 


Their conclusion: “Joseph 
Gallo is presently insane.” 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY VINCENT TOPAZIO 


From then on, he was Crazy 
Joe. 

. 

"Set up the hit for Luna's," 
Joe Yack said. 

"The Luna restaurant at 112 
Mulberry Street New York 
is neither as famous nor as 
fancy as some other Little Italy 
dining spots, such as Angelo's, 
Paolucci's or Villa Pensa. It's 
an unprctentious place, serv- 
ing good food at reasonable 
prices. Callo was a regular 
there in the old days, before he 
went to prison. 

So many Mob men frequent- 
ed Luna's that it sometimes rc- 
sembled a Mafia lodge. Phil 
Luna, the owner, tried | 
to stay out of the wars i 
his customers frequently be- 
me embroiled. Gallo went 
all the way over from Presi- 
dent Strect in South Brooklyn 
to dine there, so Luna always 
greeted him with a smile and 
the best meal the house could 
provide. But he also welcomed 
the gunmen who were out to 

ail Joey. Gallo had more enc- 
mies than friends on Mulberry 
Street and Luna's catered im- 
partially to both sides. 

On the night of May 1l, 
1961, Gallo was arrested out- 
side Luna's on the extortion 
charge that was to take him off 


A hit man was to shoot Gollo 
near his parole office in Mon- 
hatton's bustling Garment Dis- 
trict, then escape by motorcycle. 
Crazy Joe never showed up. 


the streets of New York for 
almost a decade. 
When he returned, in the 


spring of 1971, a few old faces 
were missing from Luna's, but 
Frankie the Bug was still 


around and he welcomed Jocy 
with a postmidnight feast that 
was almost like the bad old 
days. 

Confident that Gallo would 
pay Luna’s another visit very 
soon, Yack told Joe Luparelli 
to prepare an ambush 

Luparelli was a heavyset, 
muscular man, about 5710”, 
230 pounds, with a neck so 
thick that his head seemed 
to be resting on his torso. 
His weight had doubled since 
he had quit the burglary pro- 
fession, but there were iron 
muscles under the lard and 
the extra poundage added to 
his menacing appearance. He 
was adept with a wide range 


They set up the hit in a room across from Luna's restaurant on 
Mulberry Street in Little Italy; the plan had to be changed when 
а rifle went off by accident (above). Yack's gunmen finally got 
Joey during a late-night dinner ot Umberto's Clam House [below]. 


3] 


of weapons—fists, blackjack, 
knife, garrot, gun. He had 
worked as a skull buster and 
had become a methodical, emo- 
tionless killer. Luparelli was a 
jack of almost all underworld 
trades and a master of several. 
He was exactly the sort of 
strong right arm the sly, am- 
bitious Yack needed. He was 
selected as Yack's chauffeur- 
bodyguard. 

Joe “Joe Yack" Yacovelli 
was a councilor of the crime 
family headed by Joe Colom- 
bo. “Joe Yack went to see the 
commission and when he came 
back, he told me the green 
light was on," says Luparelli. 
“АП of the commission ap- 
proved the contract on Joe 
Gallo.” 

Luparelli scouted the terrain 
and secured a vacant apart- 
ment in a tenement on Baxter 
Street, a block west of the 


PLAYBOY 


restaurant. The rear window of the third- 
floor apartment overlooked Mulberry 
Sueet and Luna’s. From that window, 
a marksman with a rifle could easily 
pick off anyone entering or leaving the 
restaurant. 

Yack assigned ten men to take care of 
Gallo as soon as he showed up at Luna's. 
‘Three men were stationed inside the 
apartment, where they took turns sleep- 
and watching. Two more gunmen 
were on the street outside the restaurant, 
ready to blast Gallo if the sniper missed 
him. Other Colombo soldiers were in a 
getaway car, a backup car and two crash 
cars that would block traffic after the hit 
and foil police pursuit of the killers. 

Luparelli was in charge of the opera- 
tion. He says: 

"I brought a carbine with a telescope 
sight up to the apartment and told the 
guys there to wait until the order came to 
whack Joe Gallo out. As soon as he came 
to Luna’s, one of the guys on the street 
would signal to the guys in the apartment 
window. 

“After I left the apartment, one of the 
guys started fooling around with the car- 
bine and it went off. A bullet went 
through the wall and almost hit a China- 
man who lived next door. He started hol- 
lering. The shooters had to run out of the 
apartment and that whole scheme went 
down the drain.” 


. 

No one, not even Joey himself, could 
accurately predict what he'd do next. He 
spent enough time in his headquarters on 
President Street to strengthen what was 
left of his old gang. Like a robber baron 
testing the defenses of a larger and richer 
fiefdom, he led his men on raids deep into 
Colombo territory, where they seized bits 
and pieces of rackets. 

They wrested control of the South 
Brooklyn docks away from the Colombos 
and bludgeoned their way into hand- 
hooks, bars and night clubs owned by 
Colombo soldiers and captains. Police 
received reports that Crazy Joe was en- 
gaged in the same type of business infil- 
tration that had sent him to prison. 

Detective teams, known collectively as 
the Piza Squad, had been stationed on 
President Street since the shooting of Joc 
Colombo and they observed everyone who 
entered or left the ganp’s headquarters. 
‘They soon knew by sight every member 
of the gang, every resident of the block, 
every car normally parked there. When a 
strange car appeared, the license plate 
was checked out immediately. 

Partly to avoid such scrutiny and part- 
Jy because his outlook on life had broad- 
ened considerably while he was in prison, 
Jocy moved away from South Brooklyn, 
although he maintained his headquarters 
there and kept in touch by phone or in 


person every day. 


From former Gallo gangsters now en- 
rolled in the Colombo organization, Yack 
learned that Gallo had moved to West 
14th Street, the northern boundary of 
Manhattan's colorful Greenwich 

“We found out he was living in the 
Village and hanging out in a couple of 
bars there,” Luparelli says. “We tried to 
set something up, but he was too cautious. 

"So now, Junior came out with an 
idea. The one place Gallo had to go, 
whether he wanted to or not, was the pa- 
role office. Junior said, "Why don't we 
kill him when he gocs to report to his 
parole officer?’ " 

The parole office of the New York 

State Department of Correctional Serv- 
ices is in a modern, five-story building on 
West 40th Street in the heart of the Gar- 
ment District, one of the city's most con- 
gested areas. From nine to five every 
weekday, the narrow streets are clogged 
with cars, trucks and handcarts loaded 
with racks of dothing. The parole office 
also is around the corner from the mam- 
moth Port Authority Bus Terminal, 
which brings additional thousands of 
people into the already overcrowded dis- 
trict every day. 
‘If we hit him at the parole office,” 
Luparelli inquired, "how are we going 
to get away in all the traffic? We could 
be stuck there forever.” 

"Don't worry,” Junior replied. "We'll 
use a motorcyde. McIntosh and me will 
handle the hit. ГИ shoot him myself, with 
a shotgun. Then I'll jump on the bike 
and go. 

Yack approved the daring plan. If all 
went well, it would be one of the most 
sensational Mob murders of all time. 
Luparelli says: 

“Yack sent 17 guys up near the parole 
office. Most of them were associates, not 
family members. They were nobody that 
Joe Gallo knew, but they all knew Gallo. 
When he was in jail, he lost contact with 
people's faces. Yack didn't use no made 
guys for this job, outside of Junior. 

“The main thing was to get out of the 
Gannent District and all that traffic after 
Gallo got zapped. They figured all they 
would need were a couple of guys on foot 
and some cars laid around to fuck up the 
traffic even worse than it was. 

“If Junior could stay on the motor- 
cycle and not run into any trucks or hand 
trucks or anything, he should be able to 
get out fast. We went into the parole of- 
fice and looked around and talked to 
some guys who had to report there, so we 
knew the whole layout—how many ele- 
vators, how many exit doors, how many 
guards in the building. Gallo would prob- 
ably feel safe there, so Junior would just 
walk up and blast him. 

"Outside of the traffic, the only prob- 
lem was that Gallo knew Junior. If he 
saw him, he'd know what was up. But 


Junior figured Gallo wouldn't recognize 
him in a motorcycle outfit, with the hel- 
met and goggles and everything. Gallo 
wouldn't expect anything like that. He 
didn't even know Junior could ride a 
bike. 

“Yack could hardly wait. He said, ‘I 
hope to God they get this guy. I'd like 
to have him in my hands. Га make him 
beg for his life. I want to see him crawl. 
Watching him die, I'd actually come.’ 

"Well, the call came that told us the 
day Joe Gallo was supposed to be at 
the parole ofhce. We all went up there 
and hung around all day. Joe Gallo 
didn't show up. Later, we got word he 
had put it off to the next week, so we 
went back then. Joe Gallo didn't show 
up agaii 

Captain Nick Bianco, a former Callo 
gunman who was still оп friendly terms 
with him and his crew, was given the 
assignment of luring Joey into a trap. 
nco got in touch with the Gallos" 
senior capo, John “Mooney” Cutrone 
Mooney asked him: “What's going on 
here? Why are we fighting?” 

Bianco said Mooney suggested holding 
a sitdown in Juniors Restaurant, a 
popular Brooklyn rendezvous on busy 
Flatbush Avenue, to begin peace negotia- 
tions. This idea appealed to Yack. 

"OK," he said. “Tell Mooney I'm 
ing to sit down with him and Joe Gall 
Tell him to ask Gallo to please come. 
Promise him nothing will happen. Take 
care of the arrangements and set a time 
for the sitdown. Tell Mooney if they 
want peace, he and Gallo can have it. 

"When Gallo comes there, I want you 
to kill him. 

"When his car pulls up, go out and 
greet him. Go up to him with a big smile 
and let him have it right there, outside 
the place. If anybody gets in front of 
the gun, shoot through them." 

Bianco drove up to Nyack a few days 
later and told Yack thc latest Gallo 
liquidation plan wouldn't work any bet- 
ter than the previous attempts. 

"Mooney told Gallo about the pcace 
meet,” Bianco explained. “Gallo said he 
wouldn't go to no meeting. He said 
Mooney could take up whatever he 
wants he don't give a fuck, but he's 
not going." 


. 
Gallo's death was becoming an obses- 
sion with Yacovelli. He talked about it 
constantly, almost drooling with anticipa- 
tion, the way some men talk about seduc- 
ing a particularly desirable and clusive 
girl. Gallo not only was still alive but 
was growing more arrogant every day. 
"Fhose who watched him swagger through 
Colombo turf in Brooklyn and Little 
Italy concluded he must either have a 
death wish or consider himself immortal. 
He went into the restaurants, bars and 
(continued on page 188) 


text by CHARLEY HIX 
HOW TO CUT! 


THE FACT THAT MOST MEN hate having 
their hair cut is not because of a Samson 

but, rather, the result of the 
morningafter hangup. No matter how 
great the style looks when the barber is 
through, a night's sleep or a morning's 
shampoo will undo the magic. A fellow 
knows that, on his own, he'll never du- 
plicate that look. Still, you've had your 
hair styled in the newer, shorter length. 
Now what? 


If you're all thumbs at maintaining a 
hair style, it's symptomatic of a larger 
syndrome: The average male hasn't the 
foggiest about any aspect of hair care. He 
habitually follows the grooming regimen 
established in his teens, with little or no 
thought involved. 

‘Theoretically, all questions about hair 
care should be addressed to your barber. 
But you should know that there are 
almost as many opinions on hair care as 


HOW TO CULTIVATE IT AND HOW TO KEEP IT (IF YOU CAN) 


Left, left to right: ЙК Hair Recon- 
ditioner, by Redken Loborataries, 
$395 for 4 ozs, Aramis’ 900 
Hoir Conditioner, $5 for 4 azs, 
and Daily Shampoo І, for nor- 
mol to oily һай, $5 for 8 ozs. 
Brut Shampoo, by Fobergé, $1.75 
for 12 ozs. Vidal Sassoon Sham- 
poo, for normal to oily hair, $3 
for 8 ozs. Pantene’s Hair Groom 
Sproy far Men, $3.50 far 6 ozs. 


Yes, this beorded fellow relaxing ot \ П 

ips, оп LA. private club, is ће зоте Poul » 

8 - D 

Buller pictured on the previous роде. Kudos AA 

to Vidal Sossoan, who styled Bullers hoir ` ssy 
with a variotion of the famous Sossoon 
wedge—ond trimmed his lang, shaggy beard. 


: Tom Chiusono, middle mon on the 
ng page, sports his newly styled locks 
о! Zorine's, Chicago's favorite private hong- 
out. Stylist Poul Glick opplied o body wave 
to Chiusano's hair for fullness ond eosy main- 
tenance, then cut it to give him o natural look. 


For right: You con bet thot heads turned ot 
Regine’s, Manhotton's hip nightery, when 
Larry Lindstrom, the third mon on the opening 
роде, appeored. The Nordi salon had given 
Lindstrom o layered cut to take advantage of 
his natural part; length on the sides is mid-ear. 


there are barbers. One hair radical in 
New York City insists that nothing be 
done to hair except cutting it periodi 
cally, washing it every other day with 
shampoo diluted in seven parts water 
and “combing” it with one's fingers. In 
another hair emporium, the French chef 
concocts carrot shampoo in a blender be- 
= fore his client’s eyes. Vegetable scalp 
packs are also served with gusto. At some 
zt cutting establishments, microscopes are 
proliferating for "scientific" analysis of 
hair. To make any headway into the per- 
plexity of hair care, you must get in- 
volved. What you don't know may be the 
root of the problem. 

Hair care is simultaneously simple and 
complex. At the simplest level, only clean 
and healthy hair can look good. To com- 
plicate the situation, hair reflects your 
general health. If your diet is unbalanced 
or if you don't get enough sleep, your 
hair won't look first cabin, no matter 
what you do to it. Yet, if you're perfectly 

thy but use a wrong combination of 
hair products, your hair will be ladk- 
luster. Shampoos, conditioners, dressings 
affect how hair reacts. 
status of your hair? Is it 
oily, dry or normal? 

If you're uncertain, shampoo your hair 
and towel-dry it. Add no other prepa 
tions. For three or four days, just rinse 


with tepid water and comb into place. At 
the end of this period, if your hair looks 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY PAUL GREMMLER 


Right, left to right: A Denmon 
hairbrush of molded nylon pins, 
from Sekine, $5.95. Cushioned 
men's styling brush, by All- 
American, $2.98. Frenchmode 
hairbrush of pure boor-bristle 
tufts, by Altesse, $6. Promox Com- 
poct hair drier feotures three 
heot levels ond three air-low 
settings contoined in one 
switch, by Gillette, $23.99. 


PLAYBOY 


greasy, it’s naturally oily; dull, it’s dry; 
niddle of the road, it's normal. 

Once you know the basic condition of 
your hair, you can begin to take opu 
mum care of it. Oily hair, which attracts 
and holds dirt, requires frequent sham- 
pooing and little else. Dry hair often 
demands extra conditioning. If your hair 
is normal and healthy, don't change a 
good program. 

Proper hair care involves four steps: 
(1) cleansing it, (2) compensating for any 
basic shortcomings, (3) keeping the hair 
manageable and (4) styling it. But re- 
member, no at-home steps can solve 
serious hair or scalp problems. Dandruff, 
for example, is a medical concern. So- 
called medicated shampoos sold without 
prescriptions usually only temporize the 
condition and sometimes create a more 
hazardous one. 

Since cleanliness is next to healthiness, 
finding the most compatible shampoo is 
your first goal. Unfortunately, tracking 
опе down is no simple task. 


IN A LATHER 


With all the exotic claims today about 
shampoos—X makes your hair squeak; Y 
is mild enough to wash your face; Z is 
made of passion fruit—you might easily 
forget that their function is to wash your 
hair and scalp. 

A good shampoo dislodges dirt and oils 
so they can be rinsed away. But since 
natural, protective oils are also tampered 
with, shampoos must have conditioning 
agents to replace oils and moisture. 
Otherwise, hair becomes dry, dull and 
unmanageable. Shampoos for normal hair 
are therefore finely balanced between 
their cleansing and their replacing qual- 
ities. Shampoos for dry hair must remove 
dirt but must also replace a higher con- 
centration of oils and moisture. The ratio 
of oil to moisture agents in shampoos for 
oily hair is markedly lower. 

"Then the best shampoo is obviously 
one formulated for your hair type, right? 
Not necessarily. Frequency of washing 
must be considered. 

Men who shampoo daily (if you live in 
polluted cities or do physical labor, you 
should) must realize that most shampoos 
are designed for people who wash their 
hair only once or twice a week. The 
detergent action may be quite high. 
a fellow who shampoos every day 
an oilyhair formula can strip 
oil too vigorously, reducing the 
natural protective film. Even the 
guy using а shampoo for dry hair may 
find it too harsh for every-morning lath- 
cring. Regardless of hair type, daily 
shampooing should be done with an 
especially mild product, perhaps of the 


baby variety. Similarly, if you shampoo 
often, disregard instructions to wash, rinse, 
then repeat. Only really dirty hair requires 
two deansings. 

Selecting the right shampoo still isn’t 
easy. The mystique about products— 
herbal ws. acid-balanced vs. organic ws. 
prot us. whatever—is just that, a 
mystique. Some herbal shampoos actually 
are formulated with natural herbs, while 
others add chemicals to smell “natural.” 
Acid- or pH-balanced shampoos are bol- 
stered so the degree of the product's 
acidity corresponds to that of normal 
hair, (Most shampoos are alkaline and 
potentially too drying.) Protein shampoos 
are supposed to be compatible with hair 
because hair is composed principally of 
protcin. However, compatibility or smell 
or the other highly touted aspects of 
shampoos have little to do with the ulti- 
mate test, how a shampoo performs. 
Good performance stems from balanced 
properties and not from promotional 
gimmicks. 

Basically, the only way to determine 
whether or not a shampoo works for you 
is to test it. For proper evaluation, sim- 
ply shampoo, don't apply additional 
preparations. Try a new shampoo at 
least two weeks before damning it. If 
your hair's appearance doesn't improve, 
try another brand. With oily or normal 
hair, you should be able to see visible 
improvement when you hit upon the 
right product. If your hair is extremely 
dry, there may be slight improvement 
but not excellence. Probably you need to 
use a conditioner or a hairdressing. 

How you shampoo is also telling. Hair 
must be prepared for washing by brush- 
ing it briskly to loosen dirt and oil par- 
ticles. After brushing, massage your scalp 
by firmly planting the tips of your fingers 
in place, then rotating them. Work from 
the base of the neck upward. This i 
creases circulation. Wet your hair with 
tepid, not overly hot, water; work up a 
lather. Be brisk but not rough. Rinse 
thoroughly. Rinse again, All shampoo 
should be rinsed away. Residue dulls the 
hair and coats the scalp. Many men be- 


lieve they have a dandruff condition 
when they haven't rid their scalp of 
leftover shampoo that eventually flakes. 


CONDITIONAL PAUSES 


Even the most sophisticated shampoos 
can do only so mudh. If hair is exces- 
sively dry or brittle, no shampoo can 
supply the remedy. Sometimes even nor- 
mal hair cries for help if temporarily 
abused, perhaps by ап overdose of sun. 
In these circumstances, you must com- 
pensate for the hair's shortcomings by 
applying a hair conditioner to improve 


texture, luster and manageability. 

Hair conditioners аге products that 
coat the hair shaft to soothe, smooth, seal 
and protect. They are applied only on 
freshly shampooed hair. Conditioners are 
not hairdressings, like creams or tonics, 
nor are they rinses, like lemon or vinegar 
nd water mixtures that neutralize chem- 
als in shampoos. Whether sluiced 
through damp hair and left on for only a 
few minutes or worked into toweldried 
hair for 20 minutes or more before being 
rinsed away, conditioners are temporary 
measures. They don't cure а problem; 
they camouflage it. How often a condi- 
tioner need be used varies with the extent 
of hair damage. If you shampoo daily, 
two or three conditionings a week will 
probably suffice. 

‘The problems inherent in finding the 
right shampoo also exist in selecting a 
conditioner, Only trial and error can be 
your guide. However, a fairly trustworthy 
rule is, if you're satisfied with one brand 
of shampoo, odds are you'll find that com- 
pany's conditioner acceptable, too. 


MANAGEMENT POSITION 


"Today's hair styles are casual and free. 
But unruly, never. 

Hair quality, texture and density affect 
manageability. Generally, ойу and/or 
coarse hair is more easily controlled than 
dry and/or fine hair. Although hair 
conditioners do affect manageability, re- 
conditioning is their main purpose. 
Wispy or fine hair can literally be 
dragged down by a heavy conditioner, 
causing it to look flat and lifeless. It's 
"manageable," yes, but at a price. Hair- 
dressings—oils, creams, gels, tonics and 
liquids—impart control and luster with a 
lighter touch. However, they should be 
applied sparingly or the hair will have 

nnatural sheen and no movement. 

Men with oily hair rarely, if ever, re- 
quire hairdressings that add more oils. 
Someone with normal hair occasionally 
may need extra control, Britile, dry hair 
should be dressed so that it doesn’t 
appear strawlik 


"The formula for choosing a hairdress- 
ing is, if the hair is fine or thin, the 
dressing should be lightweight (а gel or a 
tonic), while thicker hair сап support 
heavier aids (creams or oils). Despite 
label instructions, don't massage dress- 
ings into wet һай: You can't judge how 
much is added. Wet your palms with 
water, then add the product to your 
palms and rub them through dry hair. 
Check the results, Add more dressing 
only if needed. Combing the hair will 

give more lift than brushing it. 
Hair sprays are another method of 
(concluded on page 188) 


. she worked under a Congressman." 


“She has excellent references . . 


92 


STAR-STRÜCK | 


february's star stowe 
is full of surprises, all of them pleasant 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY POMPEO POSAR 


"I'm a one-man woman,” says Star. 
“Actually, I'm a one-band woman, 
but I'm nol a groupie.” Despite 
the pictures of Jimmy Page 

and Jimi Hendrix behind 

her, Star’s guy is bass 

guitarist Gene Simmons of Kiss. 


ER NAME is Star Stowe and if she were from Barstow, we'd write a limerick about her, but 
she's not—she's from Little Rock, Arkansas, and now lives in Los Angeles. Star wasn't the 
moniker she was given at birth, either—the name was given to her several years ago, when 
the somewhat precocious Miss Stowe, then a minor, tried to finale her way into a bar. The 
doorman wouldn't let her in, which prompted the fellow she was with to quote the title of 
a song by The Rolling Stones: "Star, Star," he said, "can't get in the door." Thi 

people started to call her Star and she didn't object. 


call myself Star,” she says, “but it's not meant in the Hollywood sense at all." It’s meant, 
and we kid you not, in the ссісміа sense, Star happens to be fascinated by stars—you know, 
those twinkly little objects that come out at night. In her spare time, she hangs out at plane- 
taria and studies pictures of nebulae and comets, and, in celebration of her interest in things 
celestial, she even had an elcctric-blue star tattooed оп... мей... а private part of her 
anatomy. Another star that interests her is rock star Gene Simmons, bass-guitar player for the 
group Kiss. They met some years ago in Las Vegas; specifically, at the elevator banks of the 
Hotel Sahara, where Gene and his group were playing at the time. She didn't recognize him 
with his make-up off (onstage the group is heavily and rather bizarrely made up), but his laid- 
back manner attracted her and she's been hanging around with the band ever since. "Once in 
Т.А" she recalls, "while Gene was onstage, I flashed him—I just opened my jacket for a 
split second and 1 wasn't wearing anything underneath. Sometimes, 1 just love to be naught 


“Sometimes when I'm in 
the audience, watching 
Gene perform, every 
oncc in a while during 
the concert, it seem. 

like he's looking directly 
al me and its such 

a great feeling! 

To me, his music is 
what sex would sound like 
if you could hear it.” 


“Good hard rock is so 
powerful, just hearing it 
and feeling it is, 
for me, a sexual experience.” 


Last summer, Star attended а party at 
Hugh Hefn Chicago Mansion at 
which Elton John received several 
Playboy Music Awards. Elton took time 
out to autograph an album 

cover (below) for star-struck Star. 


Star posed (above) with three members of 
Kiss at a New York press party and 
photo session preceding the group's 1976 
European tour. They are, from left 

Paul Stanicy, rhythm guitarist, 

e Simmons and Peter Criss, drummer. 


` 


"Initially, I'm aggressive—at least aggres 

sive enough to get a man's attention. Then 

once the relationship becomes sexual, I get 
very aggressive! You might say 1 go cra 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


The Indian family had moved far from the 
reservation. "Father" asked the small boy 
after the first day in an all-white school, “why 
is my name so different from the other chil- 
dren‘s names?” 

"It is an old, old tradition of our tribe, my 
son," answered the man, "to name children 
after certain animals or birds, or sometimes 
after circumstances connected with their birth. 
‘That is why your sister is called Leaping Fawn 
and your brother is called Falling Hailstones. 
Does that answer your question, Broken 
Rubbe 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Paris vice- 
squad cop as a skin flic. 


Can anyone give me a good contemporary 
example of the golden rule in action?" asked 
the instructor in the Christian-ethics class. 

"E think so, si" yelled out one student. 
“How about sixty-nine?” 


A craftsman who weaves in Khartoum 
Lures innocent boys to his room. 

Consumed by that fever, 

This Sudanese weaver 
Has been nicknamed the fruit of the loom. 
While the office engagement party was going 

t. two junior executives were off in а 

corner by themselves. Nodding toward the new- 
ly bewothed couple, one of the men said, 
“Whatever do Sherry and Don sce in each 
other?” 


"Oh. they're perfectly matched,” answered 
the other. “She's а cock teaser and he's a prick.” 


Sign spotted in a massage-parlor window: come 
IN! WE KNEAD YOUR BUSINESS! 


Whats the matter, Charley?” the bartender 
asked the TV-repairman regular. "You don't 
look so hot. 
"I'm not,” grunted Charley morosely. “You 
see, the other day, I fixed this young broad's 
set her apartment. Then she admitted she 
had no money but offered to settle things by 
ig horizontal and servicing my vertical. 

h I agreed to. Now the trouble isn't just 
that I left with decreased voltage but that when 
1 got up this morning, 1 found that my chan- 
selector knob had begun to leak current." 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines pubescent 
nympho as a tyromaniac. 


Clearly exhausted, the girl collapsed onto her 
bed at dawn after her date with a member of 
the touring Highland regimental band. “How 
did things go?” mumbled her roommate. 

I found out what at least one Scotsman 
wears under his kilt,” was the weary reply. 
"It's the Loch Ness monster!” 


Тлете a staffer with opulent globes 
Whom a Congressman lewdly disrobes. 
Itsa question of lust 
With political thrust, 
Since in congress a Congressman probes. 


A rich Texas rancher was arranging an after- 
show meeting with a Las Vegas chorine by tele 
phone. "Alrll be easy to recognize, honey.” he 
drawled. “Ab‘m tall and Jean and tanned Land, 
besides, АҺ have a ten-gallon hard-on." 


Things hadn't been going too well financially 
for the salesman who had wooed and won the 
beautiful blonde who loved expensive things, 
and it was their first anniversary. "Darling. 
here's something for you," said ihe husband 
hesitantly as he handed his wife a box. “It’s 
only an imitation-pearl necklace, but you can 
pretend it's a real one." 

“ОГ course, dear," replied the wife icily. "And 
then when we're in bcd tonight, you can pre- 
tend I'm down there under you. 


„Мы. 


Is there a woman here with an electric vibrator 
lodged in her?” asked the chief of the emer- 
gency rescue squad. 

“Yes, it’s my wife,” replied the man who had 
opened the door. 

The paramedic frowned. “Those th 
sometimes bitches to remove," he said. 

"Well, could you at least turn it off? 
the hush 
the TV 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, үзлүвоү, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
IU. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


gs are 


snapped 
nd. “It's putting herringbones on 


ur FEQ 
pom ае S 


“And that, my dear, is really what makes the world go round!" 


ILLUSTRATION EY JACOB KNIGHT 


A VERY 
QUIET 
HORROR 


orice By TAD SZULC 


chile's exiled foreign minister, assas- 
sinated on washington's embassy 
row, told playboy before his death 
about torture and forced labor in 
the siberia of the south 


One drizzly morning last September, а 
light-blue Chevelle entered Sheridan Cir- 
cle along Embassy Row in Washington, 
D. C. Suddenly, it erupted with а deafen- 
ing explosion that blew out its roof and 
fatally injured Orlando Letelier, 45, the 
exiled former defense minister in Salva- 
dor Allendes Marxist government in 
Chile. А bomb had been so carefully 
planted in Letelier's car that а passenger. 
in the rear seat was barely injured —sug- 
gesting a professional assassination. In- 
vestigators suspect that Letelier was killed 
by a right-wing Cuban-exile group cooper- 
ating with the Dirección de Inteligencia 
Nacional (DINA), the secret-police arm 
of the military junta that has ruled Chile 
since Allende was killed and his govern- 
ment toppled more than three years ago. 
Indeed, known DINA agents had been 
seen in U.S. airports shortly before Lete- 
lier was killed. 

Orlando Letelier was an economist and 
а Socialist. He had also served as Allende's 
forcign minister and interior minister. 
When Allende was overthrown by mili- 
lary coup on September 11, 1973, Lete- 
lier was made a political prisoner and 
spent 364 days in eight Chilean prisons— 
including concentration camps їп sub- 
arctic south Chile. 

Scores of concentration camps and pris- 
ons today dot the landscape of Chile 
from the arid desert in the north to 
the desolate vastness of Magallanes 
Province in the far south. For over three 
years, these camps and prisons have been 
the home of thousands of Chileans re- 
garded by the ruling junta in Santiago 
as ils ideological cnemies. As of 1976, 
there were perhaps as many as 4000 
polilical prisoners. They are tortured and 
brutalized in a fashion that the United 
Nations Human Rights Commission de- 
scribed as “barbaric sadism?” The junta's 
security services, the UN report added, 


107 


PLAYBOY 


has “a number of well-trained profession- 
al torturers on the payroll.” 

hile has effectively been turned into a 
“Gulag South,” the Western Hemisphere 
equivalent of the Soviet prison system 
that Alexander Solzhenitsyn portrayed in 
chilling detail in his “Gulag Archi- 
pelago.” If anything, conditions in the 
Chilean Gulag South show more horrify- 
ing disregard for human rights than do 
those in the Soviet camps. 

All this is happening in our own hemi- 
spheric back yard, in the Americas, and 
there can be no question that the United 
States bears much responsibility for it. 
Not only did the Nixon Administration 
support Allende’s ouster but, through the 
Central Intelligence Agency, the U. S. has 
provided the junta with political advice. 
A Senate report on “Covert Actton in 
Chile,” published late in 1975, after ex- 
haustive investigations, remarks that the 
CIA had assisted the junta after the coup 
“in gaining a more positive image, both at 
home and abroad” and had helped “the 
new government organize and implement 
new policies.” Despite wholesale assassina- 
tions and imprisonments in the wake of 
the 1973 coup, the СТА —ассотіїпр to the 
Senate reporl—"assisted the junta in pre- 
paring a ‘White Book of the Change of 
Government in Chile’... to justify the 
overthrow of Allende. . . . It was distrib- 
uted widely in Washington and in other 
foreign capitals.” 

Moreover, the United States has done 
litile to pressure the junta to desist in its 
brutal domestic policies. While the Ad- 
ministration has authorized the immigra- 
tion of nearly 150,000 South Vietnamese 
and other Indochina exiles to the United 
States, only 20 Chilean political-refugee 
families have been authorized to enter this 
country since the 1973 coup. So much for 
American humanitarianism. 

Short of assembling a massive, Solzhe- 
nilsynlike study of the Chilean prison 
system, it is virtually impossible to draw 
a comprehensive picture of the situation 
in Chile. But the basic story can be told 
through the personal experiences of one 
man—Orlando Letelier- 

After his release from prison in Sep- 
tember 1974, Letelier moved to Washing- 
ton, where he had previously made many 
friends during а term as Chile’s ambassa- 
dor to the United States. He was reluc- 
tant for some lime to recount publicly his 
prison experiences. Several months before 
his death, however, he agreed to be inter- 
viewed by me and my wife. The result was 
an eight-hour taped conversation, in Span- 
ish, in which Letelier guided us step by 
step through his yearlong Gulag night- 
mare. In our questions, we sought to bring 
out not only the actual story of his impris- 
onment, tortures and humiliations but 
also his emotions, as he could recall them, 
during his ordeal. At no time during our 


108 interview did Letelier, a soft-spoken and 


remarkably unembittered. man, taise his 
voice or display anger. He was disturb- 
ingly low-key. 

What he told us was a quiet tale of 
horror. 

Letelier's story begins during the night 
of September 10, 1973, when Allende and 
his associates became aware that a mili- 
lary coup against the government was in 
the making. Letelier left Allende’s home 
at two лм. on September 11—4he presi- 
dent and his top advisors had decided to 
get а few hours’ sleep before facing the 
events they knew were coming. Letelier 
remembered that at lunch that day, Al- 
lende had “serenely” remarked, “I shall 
remain the constitutional president of 
Chile for my entire lterm—unless they 
kill me.” Those were prophetic words: 
Letelier never again saw Allende alive 
after leaving him that night. 

Al 6:22 am., Letelier was awakened 
by a telephone call from Allende, who in- 
formed him that the Chilean navy had 
rebelled at the Valparaiso base, an hour's 
drive from the capital. Allende said he 
was going to his office at the Moneda Pal- 
ace; Letelier decided to rush to the De- 
[ense Ministry, just across the street from 
Moneda, to determine whether the situa- 
tion could still be controlled, whether any 
military units remained loyal to Allende. 
Letelier left his house in his official car 
about 7:30 am. His wife, Isobel, and 
their four sons stayed behind. Arriving 
at the ministry building, Letelier saw that 
it was surrounded by troops; the officers 
and some armed civilians in the area 
wore orange scarves, the insignia of the 
rebels. The ministry's doors were locked, 
but after some insistence, Letelier was al- 
lowed to enter. That moment marked the 
beginning of his nightmare. 


LETELIER: As І entered the building, I 
felt a gun in my back and 1 saw myself 
surrounded by ten or twelve highly ex- 
cited men in army uniforms pointing 
their submachine guns at me. Pushing me 
violently, they took me to the ministry's 
basement. They searched me, took away 
my necktie and my belt and threw me 
against the wall in a small room. I de- 
manded to see a senior officer, but the 
officer who escorted me said, “Look, sir, 
if you insist on this, we'll proceed im- 
mediately to execute you." After an hour 
in the basement, I was taken in a car 
with armed guards to the headquarters of 
the Tacna infantry regiment in southern 
©: 


go- 
After a few hours of detention in the 
officers’ mess, Letelier was moved to a 
small room on the second floor of the 
barracks. The shutters on the window 
were boarded up, but Letelier found a 
chink in one of them looking onto the 
courtyard below. 

LETELIER: Starting at three or four 


o'clock in the afternoon, large numbers 
of men with their hands behind their 
mecks were brought to the courtyard. 
The soldiers made them lie down on 
the ground for hours. And I could hear 
the sounds of firing very close by. At one 
point, there were some 1500 persons in 
the Tacna barracks. Some prisoners were 
brought by troops, others by civilians 
with orange scarves. In the evening, 1 
was offered a meal, but 1 decided to go on 
a hunger strike until I was allowed to see 
a senior officer. Around four л.м., І heard 
my name called out over а loud-speaker, 
along with the names of other leaders of 
our government. Presently, I realized that 
the loud-speaker was 1 persons to be 
detained, Of course, I didn't sleep that 
night. They had taken away my ciga- 
rettes, which was a real tragedy. Then I 
heard the loud-speaker issue instructions 
to the personnel of the Tacna regiment 
that anyone who opposed the armed 
forces would be executed on the spot. 
Then I heard shots, but they weren't 
shots from the outside; they didn't sound 
like fring by soldiers. They were dry, 
single shots. I couldn't see who was firing, 
but I could see persons being taken to a 
corner of the courtyard that was out- 
side my line of sight. They would stay 
there six or seven minutes, then I could 
see bodies being carried back. They must 
have executed 20 persons there that night. 

Just before five a.m., I heard voices 
saying, "Now it’s the turn of the minis- 
ter.” A half hour later, the door to my 
room was opened and a sergeant told me 
to come along. There were six soldiers 
surrounding me. We walked along the 
corridor, then down a flight of steps. One 
of the soldiers was carrying a small towel 
d I realized that it was a blindfold. Im- 
mediately, I had the feeling that 1 was 
being led away to be executed. You know, 
it’s curious what one reads and hears 
about what human beings think before 
ап execution. 

What were you thinking? 

LETELIER: I didn’t think back on my 
life, about the past, about my family; 1 
was thinking about very immediate 
things. I was thinking that I didn't want 
to be made to kneel, that when 1 ar- 
rived downstairs, I would tell them that 
1 didn’t want to be blindfolded. 1 was 
counting the meters as we walked. It all 
seemed very unreal that it was happen- 
ing 10 me, but 1 had a clear, rational no- 
tion that I would be executed. Yet it 
seemed so impossible that ] went through 
something like transposition, as if I had 
already left my body. I felt no sense of 
horror, no fear. Perhaps fear reaches such 
a point that one begins to see oneself, as 
it were, from the outside. 

We were going down the stairs. 
When we reached the bottom step, I 
realized that there was an officer behind 

(continued on page 114) 


ө == 


K 
d kaher spek «ofi bt "ЧО big kd 
an 


attie By DAVID PLATT NOTHING COULD BE FINER than to hove your 


ham and «Jd in Manhatian’s Empire Diner—especially when they're served by the 
goadtooking waitress seen below hatfooting it to work. Wonder why she didn't slow 
down for the hunk of local talent coming on in his sueded-baby-lomb zip-front parka, by 
Bert Paley for After Six, about $210; knit cardigan sweater, $40, and plaid polyester/ 
cotton shirt, $22.50, both by Gant. (The not-so-sweet young thing on his arm hos 
been outfitted by Calvin Klein, Beged-Or, The Hot Sox Company end Charles Jourdan.) 


gede 


оооооооосоооооооооооооооооовоооооооооооео о ө 


ооооооооооооооооооооооооооо ооо om 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY PETER GERT | PRODUCED BY HOLLIS WAYNE 


өөөөөөзоөоөөөөөөөоөөөоөоөөөөоөөөоөөөөөөөоөөөоөөөөөөоөөөоө ө 


A. 


оооооооооооооо свооооооосоовоооосоооооооооооео оо 


m 


Opposite, top: Three cheers for the counter culture. (Dig that short- 
order kook!) The guys are wearing (lefi) a sueded-calf vest, by Beged- 
Or, about $75; cotion shirt, by Robert Stock for Crossroads, about 
$30; polished-cotton slacks, by Trousers by Barry, about $55; and 
(right) a sueded-lamb pullover, by Ericson of Sweden, about $210; cotton 
turtleneck, about $15, and pinstriped jeans, obout $30, both by Puma 
Man. (The girls ore into clothes from Bill Kaiserman for Rafael, Corinne 
Pulitzer, Calvin Klein for Beged-Or, Ralph Louren and Charles Jourdan.) 
Opposite, botiom: This fellow’s definitely not crying over spilled milk 
in his lamb sweater jacket, by Demian, $120; ond рісі polyester/cotton 
shirt, by McGregor Sportswear, $25. (Her clothes ore 
from Beged-Or спа Charles Jourdon.) Above: The 
call of the wild—and he’s responding in his glove- 
| leather jocket, by Europo Sport, about 
| $155; ond plaid polyester/cotton shirt, by 
| Gant, $22.50. (Green-eyes is into duds 
from Siom Originals and Charles Jourdan.) 


nz 


As they say, all's well 
that ends well. The guys 
are finally seeing eye 
to thigh with the woit- 
ress, and we can't 
blame her for giving 
in—what with their 
sporting (left) a sueded- 
lamb outer shirt, about 
$375, cotton duck 
slacks, about $85, and 
cotton shirt, about $80, 
all by 81 Kaiserman 
for Rafael; and (right) 
а suededlamb V-neck 
pullover, about $230, 
twill slacks, about $55, 
and polished-cotton 
shirt, about $40, all by 
Linea Italiana by D'Eva; 
plus a pair of cowhide 
boots, by The Stitching 
Horse 8ootery, $70. 
(Obviously, that crazy 
chef still can't leave the 
redheaded object of 
his affection alone. Per- 
haps it’s her wardrobe 
from Bill Kaiserman for 
Rafael, Corinne Pulitzer 
and Charles Jourdan.) 


PLAYBOY 


14 


VERY QUIET HORROR 5.5] page 108) 


us, asking, “What's happening here?" 
"Ihe sergeant told me to halt. A more 
senior officer appeared and a discussion 
went on for some minutes. I heard him 
say, “I'm the one who gives orders 
here. .. .” Then an officer shouted from 
the courtyard that I should be taken up- 
stairs again. One of the soldiers said to 
me, "You're lucky. They won't i 
you, you bastard.” 1 was taken back 
to my room. The degree of arbitrary be- 
havior was incredible there. If. you ask 
me why I wasn't shot and others were 
shot, I couldn't even tell you that it was 
for political reasons. It was bureaucratic, 
because it was this captain, in this corner 
of the courtyard, who decided about the 
lives of people. The officer in charge of 
another section of the courtyard could 
have decided differently. 

In the late morning, Letelier was 
moved from the Таспа regiment to the 
Military Academy in another part of 
Santiago. That was where the junta as- 
sembled key personalities of the Allende 
government: former ministers, senators, 
university deans and others. Before leav- 
ing the Таспа regiment, Letelier was 
taken to the commander's office. The 
commander, an acquaintance of Letelier's, 
apprised him that Allende had died the 
previous day. Now it was September 12. 
In the next three days, ihe group at the 
academy grew to 37 persons, all top offi- 
cials of the Popular Unity regime. Other 
prisoners, tens of thousands of them, were 
held at the Santiago sports stadium. Many 
were executed, including Victor Jara, a 
famous Chilean singer. Lelelier and his 
companions at the Military Academy 
were not allowed to sleep at night; every 
five or six minutes, soldiers would burst 
into the cells, turn on lights, push the 
beds and strike the prisoners with rifle 
butts. Outside, there was heavy firing. On 
Friday, Scplember 14, the men were sud- 
denly rounded up in the dining hall dur- 
ing the lunch hour and taken back to 
their cells, pushed and insulted by guards. 
They were told to gather their belongings 
and were marched to awaiting bus. 

You didn't know where you were 
going? 

LETELIER: No. They made us board the 
bus with much violence. We were forced 
to sit in the bus looking down; if 
one looked up or looked out, the soldiers 
told us, he would be shot. They had sub- 
machine guns. We had spent four days 
without changing clothes, without shav- 
ing, without a cigarette. We thought at 
first that we were being taken to the air- 
port to be flown out of Chile. But we were 
driven instead to the military air base. 
"There they made us get off the bus, again 
with considerable violence—the soldiers 
struck us with rifle butts. 

Did they try to humiliate you? 


тЕтЕглЕЕ: Yes. Many of us were slapped 
in the face. Before being taken to the 
Military Academy, several ministers were 
forced to lie in the street for hours. 
There, soldiers struck them and kicked 
them. In some cases. prisoners were hi 
the stomach with rifle butts. I saw brui 
and marks of violence on many of them. 

The 37 prisoners were placed aboard a 
DG4, which took off immediately for an 
unknown destination, 

LETELIER: Knowing Chile's geography 
and seeing the Andes cordillera, we 
realized we were flying south. We were 
not allowed to move aboard the plane. 
The soldiers, ting their submachine 
guns, kept warning us that we would be 
killed at the slightest move. We began to 
suspect that we were being flown to Punta 
Arenas, the world’s southernmost large 
city. Thats where we landed about 
9:30 ›.м. 

Black hoods were placed on our heads. 
We were taken to armored vehicles, each 
man being led by the arm by a soldier, 
another soldier behind, his gun at the 
prisoner’s back. The situation was one of 
terror that was being generated within 
the armed forces. The terror was so great 
that each soldier was, in effect, a prison- 
er of this system. Each soldier was 
watched by a corporal and the corporal 
was controlled by the lieutenant. Each 
man, therefore, was trying to demon- 
strate, because of fear, that he was the 
most violent. 1f he weren't sufficiently vio- 
lent, he could be punished, too. You see, 
there was a verticality of terror. What 
concerned them most was not to appear 
soft, not to appear human. 1 thought 
that they would simply assassinate us in- 
side the armored cars and dump us in 
the Strait of Magellan; you know, Punta 
Arenas is on the strait. It may seem a bit 
absurd, but I was thinking, All right, if 
they КШ me, I'm going to die with digni- 
ty like a man; these people are assassins 
and it is my historical responsibility to 
act like a man. There was the overwhelm- 
ing desire that we should all die with 
dignity, that we should act with di 
until the end and that all Chileans should 
know that we were assassinated. 

The prisoners’ destination was Dawson 
Island, which lies in the Strait of Magcl- 
lan, above the antarctic region. Dawson 
was a Chilean. naval station that the 
junia turned into a concentration 
camp [от its most distinguished prison- 
ers—former ministers and leading leftist 
politicians. One of them was Luis Cor- 
valan, the head of the Communist Party. 
Dawson lies on the 54th parallel south; it 
is one of the world’s most desolate and 
inhospitable spots, battered by antarctic 
winds. It was already spring in South 
America, but Dawson was still covered 
with snow when the prisoners arrived. 


s 


The surroundings were, indeed, reminis- 
cent of a Siberian Gulag camp їп the 
Sovict Union. 

LETELIER: We went ashore on a beach. 
We were no longer hooded and we could 
see powerful spotlights aimed at us. lt 
was freezing cold. We had only our light 
clothing. We were formed in lines and 
officers took out the oldest among us to 
be put aboard an ancient army truck. 
The younger men were ordered to walk. 
It was snowing. We walked four or five 
miles in the dark until we reached Puerto 
Harris, a small Chilean. marine-corps 
base with 15 or 16 structures. The 
marines had already put a barbed-wire 
fence around Dawson's first. concentra- 
tion camp. Inside the camp, we were 
herded into a large shed. The island’s 
naval commander, Jorge Feles, addressed 
us briefly. He said, “Gentlemen, you are 
prisoners of war, you will have the rights 
and obligations of prisoners of маг... 
under the Geneva convention. You are 
in my custody. 

The 37 prisoners would remain in the 
Puerto Harris camp for three months. 
The camp was near the shore of what 
was rather aptly called Bahia Initil (The 
Useless Bay). 

LETELIER: We were housed in a two- 
room shed. Eight of us occupied a room 
eight feet by fifteen. Right off, we called 
our room El Sheraton. The others, 29 of 
them, were in a larger room. They slept 
in three-tiered bunks on mattresses and 
scratchy sheets. Our morning meal was a 
cup of coffee and a piece of bread. The 
yard inside the camp was 30 by 21 feet, 
but we weren't allowed to go closer than 
nine feet from the barbed-wire enclosure. 
In the beginning, we were kept inside 
the shed most of the day. After a few 
days, we discovered that new prisoners 
had arrived from Punta Arenas, but we 
were separated by the fence. They for- 
bade us to call one another by name, so 
that the other prisoners would not know 
who we were. At night, there was a strict 
rule against leaving the shed—even to go 
to the latrine. 

What were the sanitary conditions? 

LETELIER: Bad. Our drinking and wash- 
ing water came from a canal that owed 
past the camp. But our shed was on lower 
ground than the sheds housing the Punta 
Arenas prisoners. Guards awoke us at 
six лм. and we were taken in groups of 
three to the canal to fill our buckets with 
water for drinking and washing. But, be- 
cause we were below the other camp, the 
buckets often. came up filled with the 
excrement of the other prisoners. We 
selected a spokesman to inform the mili 
tary of this situati and the health 
hazards involved. Presently, we were per- 
mitted to hook up a hose in the canal 
above the other sheds, so that our water 
didn't have to go through the area where 

(continued on page 182) 


GARP'S 
NIGHT 
OUT 


fiction By JOHN IRVING 


there were some things he just 
couldn't tell his wife—like what 
didn’t happen on mrs. ralph’s water bed 


занава 


САВР DISAPPROVED of Ralph's mother. This 
was unfair—he did not know the woman, but 
he was convinced he knew her type. She struck 
him as grossly disorganized; carelesaness, for Garp, 
was especially unforgivable in the case of a parent. 
Garp's son, Duncan, was ten—"not out of danger, 
by any means,” Garp often told his wife, Helen. 
Duncan had been a (continued om page 128) 


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———sÓ 


118 


THE MOTEL i5 siluated 
somewhere in the United 
States. The rooms are 
identical, with an over- 
sized bed,a television set 
anda bathroom off to the 
side. In each room, there is 
a printed notice establish- 
ing the price—$19 for a 
double, $14 for a single. 


ОЕ COURSE I LOVE YOU 


ктоур: Wow! Did you 
see that chick? 

Juvy: The one going in 
next door? 

FLOYD: Yeah, far out! 

He sure got himself 
a pretty one. 

зору: A pretty what? 

тур: A pretty chick. 
Hey, what's the matter now? 
I'm just kidding. 

Jupy: That doesn’t 
much sound like 
ding to me. 

FLoyp: Hey, he may 
have got himself a pretty 
one, but I got myself a 
beautiful опе! 

Jupy: You've got yourself 
a beautiful what? 

FLOYD: A beau 
Hey, don't go getting 
mad at me now. A beau- 
tiful you! 

JUbv: This is an awful 
mistake, Floyd. I knew 
this would be a mistake. I 
really think it would 
be better right now if we 
called the whole thing off. 

FLOYD: There's noth- 
ing to call off. Yet. 

тору: This is alla 
mistake. 

FLoyp: Hey, hon, it's no 
mistake. What's the 
matter with me saying my 
chick's beautiful? You 


FLOYD: Yeah, I don't care 
what anyone else says, 
you are beautiful. 

Juny: There you go 
again. Floyd, that doesn't 
help things at all. It's 
mot funny. You can't love. 
me. You wouldn't talk. 
to me the way you do if 
you loved me. 


The 
Motel 
Tapes 


xLovp: Of course I love 
you—I'm fuckin’ you, 
ain't I? 

Juny: I want to go home. 

ғготр: Oh, come off 
it. That's an old joke from 
the Army. Don't let it 
bother you. "Of course I 
love you—I'm fucki 
you, ain't I?" It br 
up every time I think. 
about it. 

Juny: I'm going home, 
cven if I have to call a taxi. 

rLovp: Do you really 
want me to call you a taxi? 

Yes, I do. 


sme 


All right. You're 


Are you crazy? 

: You told me to 
call you a taxi. All 

right. You'rea taxi. Does 
that make you feel any 
better? Hey, come on, you'll 


get over it, baby. I'd call 

you a taxi, except I've 

already paid for the room. 

Jupy: Where are you 
going now? What're you 
up to? 

FLOYD: I'm just goin’ to 
the little-boys’ room—I'll be 
back in a minute. Hey, 
sugar, don't start 
without me. 

Juny: Floyd, I'm going. 
It wasa terrible mistake. 

THE HOOK 

MIKE: Hey, where'd you 
get a name like that, 
anyway? 

VERONICA: My mother 
gave it to me. 

MIKE: Your mother gave 
you a boy's name? 

VERONICA: Ronnie's not 
a boy's name; it's short 
for Veronica. Most of the 
guys call me Squirrel 
Girl, anyway. 

MIKE: My name's Mike. 

vERONICA: Hello, 

Mike, whadaya want? 
MIKE: I want you. 
VERONICA: "Ihat's not 

what I mean. C'mon, 

you got to tell me. 

Whadaya like? 

MIKE: What's the choice? 

VERONICA: Like half- 
and-half or straight French; 
you know. 

MIKE: What's a half- 
and-half? 

VERONICA: Come on. 

Mike: No, I really don't 
know. I never even heard of 
a half-and-half. 

VERONICA: "T hat's where 
the girl sucks you 
till you're ready and then 
you fuck the girl. 

MIKE: I guess I'd like a 
half. That sounds 
ig all bases. 

VERONICA: Just leave me 
lay my dress down neat. 

е 

MIKE: Oh, yeah, baby, 
yeah. That's right. Oh, you 
know what you're doin', 
you know what you're doin’, 
No, don't stop that. 

VERONICA: You said half- 
and-half. 


more 
carryings-on 
behind those 


closed doors 


Part two of a 
revelatory new book 


By Mike McGrady 


MIKE: Just keep doin’ 
that. 

veronica: You want the 
straight French, then? 
traight French, 
finc, just don't stop. Yeah. 
Oh, oh, oooohhhhh. 
Oh, hold my balls. Oh, 
yeah. Oh, oli, oh. 

. 


MIKE: Hey, where's the 
fire? 

VERONICA: I got to get 
back to the Alcove. 

мік: Hey, Ror 
around for a few 

i We'll go one more 


„stick 


gone up, has it? Just gimme 
a minute and we'll do 
that number agai 


you got to go 
back to the Alcove and pay 
Bryan. I can't go a 

second time without 


ILLUSTRATION BY ROBERT GOLOSTROM 


PLAYBOY 


his being paid for it. 
wake: That Bryan is some character. 
He's one mean hombre— 

VERONICA: Oh, he just looks mean. He's 
really sweet. You want to know some- 
thing? He's going to marry me. 

ike: He's gonna marry you and he 
spends all night fixing you up with 
customers? 

veronica: Look, I really got to go back 
there. Bryan don't want us partyin’ with 
the customers. 

MIKE: Just a minute. Hey, wait a 
minute. I'm going out there—I'll be 
back in a minute. I want to try that one 
more time. 

VERONICA: The same? 

MIKE: I wouldn't want you to change 
a thing. 

veronica: Well, you got the money, 
honey, I got the time. 

E 

VERONICA: What took ya? 

make: Your fiancé wanted to talk. He 
told me to stop for a little jolt, it'd 
be OK. 

VERONICA: Yeah, what'd Bryan say? 

mike: He told me this time I should go 
for one of them half-and-halls. 

VERONICA: "That's what he said? 

MIKE: You know something, you got a 
nice litle body there. І like a woman 
who's built compact. 

veronica: That's my problem—a nice 
litle body and a nice big nose. 

Mike: What're you talking about? 

veronica: The old schnozzola. 

MIKE: What're you puttin’ yourself 
down for? 

veronica: I'm not putting myself down. 
It wasn't a bad schnozzola until a car ran 
over it. 

MIKE: А car ran over your nose? Tell 
me another. 

VERONICA: Believe it. Three years ago, 
I was riding my bike and a car hit me. 
"Ihe only broken bone in my body was my 
nose. 

MIKE: You can't even notice. 

veronica: You never even looked. 

Mike: I was looking at you. I looked, all 
right, and I didn’t see nothing wrong. It's 
all in your head. 

veronica: It's all on my head, you 
mean. The reason you didn’t notice noth- 
ing is because I always look at a customer 
straight on. That way, you can't see the 
bump. I'll turn my head now; you can 
sce how bent up it is. 

MIKE: I still don't see nothing. 

veronica: That's ‘cause I only looked 
away for a second. I don't let anyone see 
the profile, not for long. 

MIKE: This really bothers you. 

veronica: OF course it really bothers 
me; it'd bother anyone. As far as I'm con- 
cerned, it ruint my looks. Some of the 
guys out there call me The Hook. Others 
call me Squirrel Girl. Until that accident, 


120 llooked just like a kid. 


MIKE: You still look like a kid to me. 

VERONICA: Yeah, well, I'm 27 years old 
and I've got two kids of my own; the boy'll 
be March. 

мк: What're you doin’ with someone 
like that Bryan character? 

veronica: Whadaya mean? He's goin" 
to marry me, that’s what I'm doin’, Hey, 
you must be rested enough now. Let's 
see if we can get this li'l fellow to stand 
up straight like a man. 

Mike: He's gonna marry you and, mean- 
time, he fixes you up with his customers. 

VERONICA: You know, if you're gonna 
start in again on Bryan, I'm gonna go 
back to the Alcove. 

Mike: Hold on a minute. Don't get all 
їп a uproar. I didn't mean nothing. I don't 
even know your Bryan. He just looks like 
some character to me. 

VERONICA: Bryan was gonna marry me 
when the accident happened. But the 
whole thing is, no one would marry any- 
one with a schnozz like this one. But 
when I get the uose fixed, Bryan and me 
are getting married. 

MIKE: Why don't you just get it fixed 
now? 

VERONICA: Sure, give me $1400 and I'll 
do that little thing. "That's what the plastic 
surgeon says it'll run, and then it'll be as 
good as new. 

Mike: Bryan and you are getting 
hitched—but he's not going to get hitched 
with you until the nose gets fixed, so to 
get the dough to fix the nose, he fixes 
you up with other guys; I’ve heard every- 
thing now. 

VERONI 
or what? 

Mike: Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss 
it for the world. 

veronica: Don't get the wrong impres- 
sion of Bryan. He loves me. 

MIKE: Yeah. 

veronica: Hey, he really does love me. 

ike: Yeah, it's a regular storybook 
romance. 


: Are we goin' another time 


THE LIST MAKER 


маву: Sometimes I'm impressed just 
being with you. I mean it. I'm always 
zed that you'd even bother with me. 
You're by far the most successful person 
I've ever known. 

NICHOLAS: Is that right? 

MARY: Oh, yes, you're the most success- 
ful who ever took an interest in me. 
The other guys I've gone with, they all 
seem like losers. I don’t know what I ever 
saw in any of them. 

NICHOLAS: Maybe it was the fact that 
they needed you. 

маку: Don't you need me? 

NICHOLAS: Yes, І do. L need you and 
therefore I'll have you. You know why 
those other guys are losers? It's the same 
reason that most people are losers. They 
don't have the slightest idea how to focus 
on anything. Whatever I'm going to do in 


life, I focus in on it completely. 

MARY: I think so. I think you do—but 
where did you learn that? Why doesn't 
everyone know how to do it? 

NICHOLAS: I'm really not sure. I can tell 
you what happened to me. When I was 
still in grade school, I was asked to do a 
book report—I've often tried to think of 
the title, but it has always escaped me; 
but it was a study of the most successful 
and afiluent men in the country. Hun- 
dreds of them, I think, and they were all 
asked for the secrets of their success. Many 
of them had different ideas, but almost 
every one of them mentioned an ability to 
focus, to eliminate all distractions and get 
down to brass tacks. Almost every one of 
those men made a list. That's always 
stayed with me; you've seen my notebook. 
I'm always working on one list or another. 
Whatever I write down in there, that’s 
what I'm focusing on, The act of writing 
it down almost forces me to start focusing. 
Before I begin the day, before my first cup 
of coffee, I list the six or seven goals 1 
hope to accomplish on that day. Always in 
order of importance. 

Mary: And those are the things you al- 
ways get done? 

NICHOLAS: Not at all. But it shows me 
what I should be concentrating on and it 
saves me much wasted effort. 105 like 
g in the jungle and having a map. 

Mary: Was this on the list? 

NICHOLAS: This? 

Mary: Me. "Make love to Mary'— 
something along that line. 

NICHOLAS: No, it wasn't. The beauty of 
making up a list is that you don't have to 
follow it. If something better turns ир, 
then the thing to do is focus on that. 
You're not on the list today—but you're 
definitely something better. 

I'm not going to apologize for the list— 
1 use it for almost everything I do. Some 
of the guys at the office wonder how come 
I'm able to play scratch golf. Golf is а 
perfect example of what I'm talking 
about. If ever there was something that 
required total concentration, complete 
focus, it’s golf. Most of the guys think 
they can go out and talk about business 
and women and what not and still play 
a decent game of golf. They're fooling 


ary: Pm sure you're right, its just 
that I never gave it much thought before. 
wicuoLAs: I know it’s right. When 1 
turned 40, I spent a full year traveling 
around the world. I just left the office. Al- 
most every person I know in the business 
world—they all said how lucky I was and 
how they would love to be able to do some- 
thing like that themselves. If they really 
wanted to do it, if they were able to focus 
on the act of actually doing it, then, by 
Christ, they would do it. 
Going to Europe is no more difficult 
(continued on page 172) 


PLAY BOY’S 
PLAYMATE PREVIEW 


a super abundance of candidates to grace our gatefold in the months ahead 


Julia Kallish is 19; she studied art in high school; 
she plans to continue at Chicago's American 
Academy of Art. Then, “You know what I'd 

really like to do? Go on a nice long cruise.” Mean- 
while, Julia works for her favorite artist: “My dad." 


We asked Katrina Hegg, who 
lives in Boulder, if it's true about that Colorado 
mountain high. “What gets me high,” she 
replied, “is dancing. Also climbing 

trees, swimming nude and rolling in the ha’ 


ARD-LINE feminists not 
withstanding, millions of 
women in America still dre: 
of becoming а movie 
star in Hollywood, Miss 
America in Atlantic City 
ora Playmate in the pages of 
FLAYBov. While everyone 
assumes that hanging around. 
Schwab's Drugstore pi 
vides the path to celluloid 
stardom and local beauty 
contests the way to Bert Parks's 
side, the process of 
becoming a Playmate inexpli- 

ly remains a mystery. 
Well, we're going to let 
you in on the procedure—and 
give you an idea of just how 
tough it is to narrow down the 
field of likely candidates. 

All the ladies shown on these 
pages are currently unde 
consideration and many w 
grace our centerfold in 
the coming months. Most either 
were discovered by a mem- 
ber of our photographic staff or, 
more likely, have submitted. 

a picture of themselves taken by 
a boyfriend, an amateui 


Jensman or a free-lance profes- 
ional. Hundreds of photos 


are sent in to us every month, 
which isn't hard to under- 
stand, since a Playmate receives 
510,000 and the person 
who suggests her a $1000 find- 
er's fee. Once the pictures 
ге screened by the photography 
editors in Chicago and Los 
Angeles, the candidates deemed 
to have the most Playmate 
potential are flown to our 
studios for an in-depth test 
shooting by one of rLaynoy’s 
staff photographers. Again, 
the editors judge the results and 
the most attractive and 
vivacious candidates are 
asked to pose for the 
centerfold, after which Editor 
Publisher Hugh Hefner 
makes the final selection of those 
who will become the 
modern-day equivalent of the 
bson and Petty girl 
The hopefuls pictured here 
are at various stages of the 
Playmate process. Look for your 
122 favorite in the months ahead. 


Californian Sherry Marks 
(right) is looking for 

“а rugged, down-to-earth, 
old-fashioned, well- 
built, understanding, 
loving man in his 20s. 
We could make love on 

а huge brass bed in 

а house overlooking the 
ocean.” Any applicants? 


“Т want to live long 
enough to be able to look 
back and say I’ve done 
everything worth doing,” 
Deborah Kehoe (far 
right) told us. One such 
thing: becoming a Play- 
mate. "Nudity is great 
when it's done with class, 
and PLAYBOY respects 
women,” she volunteered. 


Denise Hayes (left), who was born in London, Christina Allen (above) admits to eclectic tastes, 
has lived in Spain, Ireland and (now) Dallas. ranging from the works of Ernest Hemingway 
It's Ireland she'd like to return to: “I miss to those of Norman Lear. Of herself 
the Guinness.” Denise tells us she's “lively to an she says, “I'm aloof, yet sensitive; moody, yet 
extreme, obstinate, sojthearted, gullible—and weird.” dependable. Гат a woman and enjoy being one.” 


Mary Sue Wehrenberg (above) is attending Florida 
Junior College (majors: zoology and art) and 
is working toward a B.A. —while free-lancing as 
а Jacksonville interior designer on the side. A 
typical cvening with Mary Sue may include 

124 “massage, a good meal, conversation, love. . 


Mavis Cusick (above }—“my friends call 
me Tasha" —was born in Germany, 
where her father worked for the State 
Department. She was cducated in the 
Dominican Republic, Italy, Turkey and 
Brazil and has settled in Virginia. 


Lisa Sohm (below), now working asa 
free-lance model in New York City, 
would like, ultimately, to become a high- 
fashion model. “Then I could travel 

all over the world. First stop: Africa.” 


Born and educated in Van- 
couver, British Columbia, 
he studied dance {тот 

ge of thice to 17, Kris- 
tine Winder (above) would 
like one day to be both a 
writer and a dancer. Right 
now, she tells us, she enjoys 
“Happy Days,” the songs 
of Bob Dylan, scuba diving, 
“a fire on the beach, a good 
dry red wine, а night swim 
and an cager partner. 


Debra Jo Fondren (left) is 
into tennis, trap and skeet 
shooting and deep-sea fishing. 
She just might, she informs 
us, take up professional pho 
tography. For now, “Well, 
Гое always been an avid 
reader of PLAYBOY and Га 
like to become a part of its 
tradition. . .." Despite—or 
because of?—that, Debbie's 
list of most-admired people is 
headed by Gloria Steinem, 


Lisé Kaiser (above) is good at stenography (she 
acquired. her secretarial skills at Bryant and Strat- 
ton Business Institute in Buffalo, New York) 

and modeling (obviously); she doesn’t plan to give 
up either. “Well, I'm really pretty conservative.” 


Nicki Thomas (above), 22, an exercise buff, is also 
musically inclined; she sings, plays the violin 

and the guitar. She describes herself as “very cmo- 
tional, very enthusiastic but basically easygoing. 

1 fall in love easily, but I’m a one-man woman.” 


physician and an Estonian теји- 
gee, 20-year-old Virve Reid (right) 
isanart student in Vancouver, 
В.С. Eventually, she hopes to be- 
n actress; her short-term 
ambition is—you guessed. it—to 
appear in a PLAvnov centerfold. 
“І feel being selected would be a 
great compliment to me—and,” 
she adds unself-consciously, 

“it would give me а way of 
sharing my gifts with others.” 


A jazz enthusiast, erstwhile 
University of California at Santa 
Cruz student Susan Centola (be- 
low) leans toward becoming a 
dancer. But if NASA decides to 
make space travel coed, she'd like 
to sign up as an astronaut. “T 

have a keen desire for scientific 
knowledge and for travel,” 

she says. "Actually, I have enough 
energy to pursue most of my 
whims, because I cat only fruits 
and such a diet cleanses the body.” 


Born in London, Carole Davis 
(left) has lived in Scotland, France, 
Hawaii, Cambodia and Thailand 
and now bunks in New York City, 
where she studies sociology at 
Hunter College. While in France, 
she was lead singer for Les Var- 
ialions, а rock band featured 

al festivals on the Riviera. 


| 
E 
f 


таз 


PLAYBOY 


GARP'S NIGHT OUT 


watched-over child, and now that he had 
reached an age where he was expected to 
be responsible—and more independent— 
Garp was extremely nervous about him. 
Duncan was a sensible child, but Garp 
feared for what influences the boy's new 
freedom would uncover. 

Ralph, for example. A normal boy, 
perhaps; not retarded, not even wild— 
not even impolite. But Ralph was al- 
lowed to do things that Garp did not 
allow Duncan to do. What Garp would 
not say in front of Duncan (and his worst 
fear) was that Ralph's mother left Ralph 
alone at night when she went “out.” She 
was recently divorced, and Garp hoped 
he felt no bias in that regard, but the 
woman seemed to him both too casual 
and too troubled. He was always nervous 
when Duncan was asked to spend the 
night with Ralph. 

“Why not ask Ralph to spend the 
night here?" Garp suggested. A familiar 
ploy—Ralph usually spent the night with 
Dunean, thus sparing Garp his anxiety 
about the carelessness of Mrs. Ralph (he 
could never remember her name). 

“Ralph always spends the night here,” 
Duncan said. “I want to stay there.” And 
do what? Garp wondered. Drink, smoke 
dope, torture the pets, spy on the sloppy 
lovemaking of Mrs, Ralph? 

But Garp knew that the boys probably 
enjoyed being left alone in a house where 
Garp wasn't always smiling over them, 
asking them if there was anything they 
wanted. He was a colossal worrier who 
liked to cook to relax himself. Whenever 
Duncan spent the night at Ralph’s house, 
and Garp knew that he and Helen would 
have supper alone, he frequently cooked 
up a storm. 

1f he could have been granted one vast 
and naive wish, it would have been that 
he could make the world safe. For chil- 
dren and grownups. The world struck 
Garp as unnecessarily perilous for both. 

е 

Garp drove а wooden spoon deep into 
his tomato sauce. He flinched as some 
fool took the corner by the house with a 
roaring downshift and a squeal of tires 
that cut through Garp with the sound of 
a struck cat. He was not worried, this 
time, that the speeding car meant Duncan 
had been hit—he knew where Duncan 
was—but it was Garp's habit to chase 
down speeding cars. He had bullied every 
fast driver in the neighborhood. The 
streets around Garp's house were cut in 
squares, bordered every block by stop 
signs; Garp could usually catch up to a 
car, on foot, provided the cars obeyed 
the stop signs. 

He ran down the street after the sound 
of the car. Sometimes, if the car were 
going really fast, Garp would need three 


128 or four stop signs to make the arrest. 


(continued from page 115) 

Most drivers were impressed with Garp, 
and even if they swore about him later, 
they were apologetic to his face, assuring 
him they would not speed in the neigh- 
borhood again. It was clear to them that 
Garp was in good physical shape, and 
most of them were high school kids who 
were easily embarrassed—caught hot- 
rodding around with their girlfriends, or 
leaving litle smoking rubber stains in 
front of their girlfriends’ houses. Garp 
was not such a fool as to imagine that 
he changed their ways. All he hoped to 
do was make them speed somewhere else. 

"The present offender turned out to be 
a woman (Garp saw her earrings glinting, 
and the bracelets on her arm, as he ran 
up to her from behind) She was just 
ready to pull away from the stop sign 
when Garp rapped the wooden spoon on 
her window, startling her; the spoon, 
dribbling tomato sauce, looked at a 
glance as if it had been dipped in blood. 

Garp waited for her to roll down the 
window, and was already phrasing his 
opening remarks ("I'm sorry if I startled 
you, but I wanted to ask you a personal 
favor . . .") when he recognized that the 
woman was Ralph's mother, the notorious 
Mrs. Ralph. Duncan and Ralph were 
not with her; she was alone, and it was 
obvious that she һай been crying. 

"Yes, what i Garp 
couldn't tell if she recognized him as 
Duncan's father or not. 

“I'm sorry I starded you," Garp began. 
He stopped. What else could he say to 
her? Smeary-faced, fresh from a fight 
with her ex-husband or a lover, she 
looked rumpled with misery; her eyes 
were red and vague. "Im sorry,” Garp 
mumbled; he was sorry for her whole life. 
How could he tell her that all he wanted 
was for her to slow down? 

“What is it?" she asked him. 

"I'm Duncan's father," Garp said. 

"| know you are," she said. 
Ralph's mothe 

know,” he said; he smiled. 

“Duncan's father meets Ralph's moth- 
er,” she said, caustically. Then she burst 
into tears. Her face flopped forward and 
struck the horn. She sat up straight, sud- 
denly hitting Garp's hand, resting on 
her rolled-down window; his fingers 
opened and he dropped the long handled 
spoon into her lap. They both stared at 
it; the tomato sauce produced a stain on 
her beige dress. 

^You must Ik I'm a rotten mother,” 

Mrs. Ralph said. Garp, ever conscious of 
safety, reached across her knees and 
turned off the ignition. He decided to 
leave the spoon in her lap. It was Garp's 
curse to be unable to conceal his feelings 
Írom people, even from strangers; if he 
thought contemptuous thoughts about 
you, somehow you knew. 


“Tm 


"I don't know anything about what 
kind of mother you аге,” Garp told her. 
“L think Ralph's a nice boy.” 

He can be a real Ше bastard," she 
said. 

"Perhaps you'd rather Duncan not stay 
with you tonight?” Garp asked—Garp 
hoped. To Garp, she didn't appear to 
know that Duncan was spending the 
night with Ralph. She looked at the 
spoon in her lap. "It's tomato sauce," 
Garp said. To his surprise, she picked up 
the spoon and licked it. 

“You're a cook?" she asked. 

“Yes, I like to cook,” Garp said. 

"It's very good," Mrs. Ralph told him, 
handing him back his spoon. "I should 
have gotten one like you, some prick 
who liked to cook." 

"I'd be glad to go pick up the boys," 
Garp said, “They could spend the night 
with us, if you'd like to be alone.” 

"Alone!" she cried. "I'm usually alone, 
I like having the boys with me. And they 
like it, too," she said. "Do you know 
why?" She looked at him wickedly. 

"Why?" Garp said. 

“They like to watch me take a bath," 
she said. “There’s a crack in the door. 
Isn't it sweet that Ralph likes to show 
off his old mother to his friends?” 

“Yes,” Garp said. 

"You don't approve, do you, Mr. 
Garp?” she asked him. "You don't ap- 
prove of me at all." 

"I'm sorry you're so unhappy,” Garp 
said. He remembered that Mrs, Ralph 
was going to school. “What are you 
majoring in?" he asked her, stupidly. He 
recalled she was a never-ending graduate 
student; her problem was probably a 
thesis that wouldn't come. 

Mrs. Ralph shook her head. “You 
really keep your nose dean, don't you?” 
she asked Garp. “How long have you 
been married?” 

“Eleven years.” Garp said. Mrs. Ralph 
looked more or less indifferent; Mrs. 
Ralph had been married for 12. 

“Your kid's safe with me,” she said, as 
if she were suddenly irritated by him, as 
if she were reading his mind with utter 
accuracy. "Don't worry, I'm quite harm- 
less—with children," she added. "And 1 
don't smoke in be 

"Fm sure it's quite healthy for the 
boys to watch you take a bath,” Garp 
told her, then felt immediately embar- 
rassed for saying it, although it was one 
of the few things he'd told her that he 
meant. 

"I don't know," she "It didn't 
seem to do much good for my husband, 
and һе watched me for years." She looked 
up at Garp, whose mouth hurt from all 
his forced smiles. Just touch her check, 
or pat her hand, he thought; at least say 
something, But Garp was clumsy at being 

(continued on page 176) 


PLAYBOY 


130 


“You sure must have made a hit with Mom and Dad то get invited 
to our Saturday-night family get-together!” 


eats-meat nell 


Oh. that I in love, in love, 
In love had never fell 
I've tried in wain the heart to gain 
Of lovely Meat Nell. 
"Tvas in Drury Lane vherc I 
First heard her woice so svect, 
As vith her barrow she vent by 
And sveetly called, "Cat's meat!” 
My heart she von; her swivel eyes 
So charmingly she rolled, 
And, tempting her vith “Pies, hot pi 
My tale of love I told. 


Elewated vith liquor, I felt no dread, 
And thought as how Га buss li 
For viteh 1 catched a lick on the head, 
Vitch made me уши the vorser. 
Tooked—for 1 felt so stupid, do you sec2— 
Yo know vhere I vas. in wain- 
To a butcher says 1, “I'm in Queer Street.” Says he, 
Му, vou call, this here is Cow Lane; 


I never knowed in all my life 
Faint heart fair lass e'r von, 

So J, to catch her for a vile, 

i Nell again begun 

ve me,” , "von kiss toda 

ys sh farce. 

But if you'll kiss, then kiss avay. 
And she cocked up her bare arse. 


Says L “Oh, I'm in Jove, my dear, 
‘And vish to know if vhether 

Ve to Saint Giles's Church shall stees 
And there be spliced together 

Says she, "I tell you. it's no go 
Vith me to talk ol love. 

A stinking pieman, you must know, 
1 thinks myself above.” 


To Holborn, then, avay jogged ve, 
Vhere 1 tald her now to stop. 
ys 1, “Nell, though you don't love me, 
Mayhaps you'd love a drop. 
This herc's The Bell, so lev’s tol 
ssh Hous polite 
Aud there ve took imperial gin 
Till ve got muzzy quite. 


Close by her side, I vent on toddling 
And, hot vith love, kept challing 
Vhile Nelly vith her barrow, vaddling, 
Set all the boys alaughing. 
The bother of those saucy brats 


Confused and crossed our cries. 
So, vhile I called out, “Hot mutton cats!” 
Vhy, Nell, she bawled, "Cat's pies!” 


the flea shooter 


Horse doctor am I and once w 
With a wife and her m 
Who h: 


s a lodger 
regular codger, 
young daughter so tempting to view— 


еа Desllanels trom the sixpenny songbooks, circa 1830 


Ribald Clas 


z 


And ripe for the spit, as I very well knew. 

I slept in a room next to where she reposed 

And dreamed of her charms all the while that I dozed. 

"That the lass was uneasy I knew with no doubt, 

For her amorous wishes she oft would cry out. 

So, goaded by passion, a hole on the sly 

1 bored in the wainscot, through which I could spy 

АП her luscious young beauties exposed to my view— 

Such delicate bubbies of peach-and-pink hue, 

Such a belly, such thighs—oh, their like was ne'er seen— 

And a black little cuckoo's nest right in between! 

Sometimes she'd be washing that body so fair; 

Sometimes she would curl up her pretty black ha 

Sometimes for a genuine bouncing she'd groan 

And dildo herself till she fell in а swoon, 

One night, quite astonished, I heard her loud crics 
ade haste to 


rise. 


1 


BRAD HOLLAND 


ad begged that I go to her daughter that nig 
Oh. doctor, oh, doctor,” she cried, “pray, make hastel 
My daughter's so pained you have no time to waste. 

I really quite blush at her unhappy lot, 

But something's gone into her poor—you know what!” 
1 went to her chamber without more delay 

And beheld the sweet kiss in strange а 
Squirming and shaking, stretched out on the bed, 
Her nightdress awry and pulled up to her head. 
“Oh, doctor," she ajed, “I've had an attack! 

A bold flea has pushed himself into my crack! 
He tickles me сга bles about: 
Tm sure I shall die if you can't get him ou 
1 persuaded her mother to leave, lest the sight 
OF this direful excision produce a bad fright. 
ring I now would employ my dislod: 
1 my breeches and pulled out big Roger. 
Oh, sir, what is that?” she asked in alarm. 
shooter,” said L “It will do you no harm." 
In less than a shake, 1 was locked in her arms. 
Trumbled and tumbled and rifled her charms. 
Till nature prevailed and she cried out, “Dear sp 
You've killed the fle; 
Since tl 
By busil 


as he 


rk. 
dead! What an excellent mark! 
at happy hour, we've kept out disease 
joyfully shooting for fleas. 


[у] 131 


132 


YEAR 
IN SEX 


a slightly irreverent look at 
the advances—and setbacks— 
of the sexual revolution in '76 


DURING THE BICENTENNIAL YEAR we've all just sur- 
vived, there may not have been much more sexual 
activity than usual, but there was more noise made 
about it—particularly when it came to the prefer- 
ences and peccadilloes of people in the public eye. 
Congressmen putting mistresses—some of whom 
couldn't find the ox-orr switch of an electric type- 
writer—on the payroll? Right-wing fire-and-brim- 
stone breathers being exposed as A.C./D.C.? The 
Vice-President of the United States saying “Fuck 
you” with his finger—while his boss was trying to 
make his political opponent look like a moral degen- 
erate because he had allowed the relatively inoffen- 
sive word screw to pass his lips? Did he think the 
public couldn't figure out just what those deleted 
expletives were in his ex-boss's highly edited tape 
transcripts? No wonder people turned away from 
news of politics and immersed themselves in, for 
example, soap operas. There, at least, there was little 
pussyfooting around the subject. Abortions, prosti- 
tution, homosexuality, impotence, V.D.—no topic 
was taboo. And at the movies, audiences were treated 
to the spectacle of a 12-year-old, Jodie Foster, por- 
taying with considerable aplomb а teeny.bopper 
hooker. While all this was going on, the nation's 
judicial system, seemingly with its collective head in 
the sand, managed to convict am actor and two 
magazine executives on grounds of obscenity—in 
towns where the film had not been shown nor the 
publication offered for sale. Somehow, the Swedes 
don’t scem to get so hot and bothered about this 
sort of thing. Latest word from Stockholm is that 
serious consideration is being given to legislation to 
legalize, among other things, incest. That may take 
a while. In the meantime, here's a brief look at the 
ups and downs of the sexual revolution, circa 1976. 


TEMPTRESSES 


Colleen Gardner (right) was 
mad because her boss, Repre- 
sentative John D. Young (1 
Texas), paid her $25,800 an- 
nually but wouldn't give her 
any job responsibility. “It 
wouldn't have been so bad 
going to bed with him if he 
had at least let me work," she 
observed. Liz Ray (below) 
didn't want more work—she 
couldn't even type—but she 
was miffed at her boss, Rep- 
resentative Wayne Hays (D., 
Ohio), allegedly because he 
didn't invite her to his wed- 
ding. Both Gardner and Ray 
blew the whistle on their Con- 
gressional employers, reveal- 
ing that their tax-supported 
stipends had been earned for 
the most part on their backs. 


FEET OF CLAY 


FA 


RN 


GONGRESSM| 
PLAYING Е 


од А : S 
BOB ENGLEHART, DAYTON JOURNAL HERALD 


TEMPTED 


The plot thickened as 
Gardner and Ray went 
on talking. Not only 
were Hays (top left) 
and Young (bottom 
left) implicated but 
also Alaska's Demo- 
cratic Senator Mike 
Gravel (center left), 
with whom Ray claim- 
ed she'd had sex on a 
houseboat owned by 
her previous employ- 


er, former Represent- More red feces: Above, from left, Representative Joe Waggoner, Jr., detained 
ative Kenneth J. Gray by Washington cops for soliciting а decoy prostitute (but released on grounds 
(D., Шіпоіѕ). Gardner of Congressional immunity); Representative Robert L. Leggett, who admitted 
corroborated the to two illegitimate children and a sexual liaison with a Congressional aide; 
story, claiming she'd Representative Allan Howe, convicted of propositioning Salt Lake policewomen. 


been an eyewitness. 
Gravel and Young de- 
nied everything. ("I'd 
deny it if it were true, 
but the fact is I didn't 
do it," said Young.) 
Hays tried to, then 
caved in, admitted all 
and retired. Whatever 
the truth of the mat- 
ter, the controversy 
certainly didn't hurt 
the sales of Ray's 
paperback, The Wash- 
ington Fringe Benefit. 


Below, from left, retired General Edwin A. Walker, busted for public lewdness 
in a Dallas rest room; onetime Nixon Supreme Court nominee G. Harrold Cars- 
well, indicted for making advances to a Tallahassee vice cop (lewdness 
charges were dropped when he pleaded no contest to battery); and the Rev- 
erend Billy James Hargis of the Crusade for Christian Morality, who was ac- 
cused of seducing boy and girl students at American Christian College in Tulsa. 


SEX IN THE MARKET PLACE >| 
boc 


LOVE, OR REASONABLE FACSIMILE, FOR SALE 


Some years back, Cynthia Kane (right) was Sister Mary 
Anthony of the Sisters of Our Lady of the Good Shepherd. 
Now she's an undercover police officer in Chicago—where 
a frequent assignment is working as a decoy streetwalker. 


During the First World Meeting of Prostitutes in Washing- 
ton, D.C. (above), Franciscan friar DePaul Genska ("Christ 
was very kind to women in this condition") joined hookers'- 
rights crusader Margo St. James, San Francisco, and other 
fellow activists in a "sunrise stroll" at the White House. 


From the world of fashion, a showing of transves- 
tite styles at Uba's in Hollywood (top) and (above) 
а sample of the hot new department-store trend to 
sexy windows, from Bloomingdale's, New York. "At 
times the displays get risqué," tut-tutted Time. 


ЕРОТ 


The Love Chair (left) was designed by award-winning Miami sculptor Cullum 
Hasty. Latest improvement in mechanized erotica (above): Accu-Jac Il, 
with zttachments for male and female use ($595). For those with a sweet 
tooth (below), phallic suckers from Leasure Time Products (see Althea, next 
page) and the sellout rage of this past Valentine season, edible Candypants. 


MEDIA MADNESS 


ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS, SOMEBODY PRINTS 


Why is this man frowning? Because, as an Esquire cover story 
pointed out, of the proliferation of schlocky skin books that 
are giving a class act like ours a bad name. Esquire rated 25 
publications. with PLAYBOY, naturally, at the top of the heap. 


CA 


Exclusive! Nixon 
goes to a birthday party 


| Brave thoughts on 

| West Point: 1 
Save \ 
the stoolie < 


| system! 


After Kansas postal in- 
spectors subscribed under 
phony names, Screw pub- 
lisher AI Goldstein (above) 
was convicted in Wichita 
on smut-mail charges, but 
а new trial was ordered 


Enroll 
пом! 25 
lessons in 


Social notes from all over: Larry Flynt 
wed his Hustler associate publisher 
and executive editor, Althea Leasure, 2 
at Columbus, Ohio's Broad (honest!) [nepelness| 
Street Methodist Church on August 21. | P®9e 


at 


COURTESY OF FIELD NEWSPAPER SYNDICATE 


Allen Saunders, creator of good old Mary Worth, gave comic-strip readers a 
shock: the genre's first teenaged, illegitimate pregnancy (above). London's Janet 
Reger put out a catalog of sexy (and costly) lingerie (below left), and when 
Bloomingdale's tried a similar approach in a New York Times supplement (below 
right), the brochure became an instant collector's item ($6 at one bookstore). 


Former porn star Bree Anthony (in Sexteen, 
above) has found a new line of work. As Sue 
Richards, publisher, she introduced the sexplicit 
magazine High Society to newsstands this May. 


SONG & DANCE 


Raquel Welch (above) made 


news when her top fell down 
during a strenuous number 
from her night-club revue; the 
Royal Danish Ballet also made 
headlines while on its Ameri- 
can tour, which featured nude 
dancers in Flemming Flindt's 
Triumph of Death (top right). 


The Divine Miss M, Bette Mid- 
ler, went bare-ass before Har- 
vard's Hasty Pudding club 
(above), but players in Carte 
Blanche, Kenneth Tynan's 
sequel to Oh! Calcutta! , got 
down to the altogether in Lon- 
don's Phoenix Theater (left). 


-— NE 


Sex rock is the, ah, coming thing in music, and these are the 
singers who know how to do it. Donna Summer (left) moaned 
Love to Love You, Baby right up to the climax of the charts; 
former porn actress Andrea True (above) scored with More, 
More, More, and Betty Davis (ex-model, ex-Mrs. Miles), at right, 
socked it to 'em with Nasty Gal. Below are their latest LPs. 


EI Ш ШИШИ 


pon 


ARTISTIC LICENSE 


Developments in erotic art: paintings by René Moncada 
Perez (left) and wax sculpture by Ross F. Morris of Kline- 
burger Bros. Studios in Seattle (below). Says Moncada: 
“Whenever I drew a naked woman with a vagina, the draw- 
ing became immoral. Now 1 have eliminated the rest of the 
body, thus bringing out into the living room something 
otherwise known as vulgar." Morris hopes to establish a U.S. 
erotic wax museum similar to one he worked on in Japan. 


Susan Kutosh, a 28-year-old New Yorker, specializes in 
what may be a unique genre: the crotch blot. At top right, 
how she does it; right, the finished work. Kutosh's pussy 
paintings are featured at the Erotics gallery in the Village. 


NO BIZ LIKE SHOWBIZ 


Fanne Foxe, who used to do a little peeling herself, served as mistress of cere- 
monies for portions of the All-Bare 1976 Extravaganza, a four-day shindig 
staged at New York's Beacon Theater in September (below). Up in Lake 
Geneva, Wisconsin, all-female audiences at the Sugar Shack flipped for male 
strippers Elliott Lanza, an airline pilot, and Larry Slade, a bodyguard (right); 
meanwhile, in the San Francisco Bay area, the Free Follies troupe staged 
street theater on such subjects as crabs, incest end V.D. (below right). 


OUT OF THE CLOSET 


This 6/2" tennis player 
won a tournament this 
July in California as Dr. 
Renee Richards (below). 
Before sex-change sur- 
дегу, the same player, as 
Dr. Richard Raskind, had 
in 1964 won the New 
York State men's amateur 
singles championship. 


---— 


KISS & TELLERS 


All right, now, everybody who didn't have a “relationship” 
with the late President John F. Kennedy stand up! Here 
are four of those who have confessed they did (from left): 
stripper Tempest Storm; socialite Joan Lundberg Hitchcock; 
Judith Campbell Exner, ex-friend of the late mobster Sam 
Giancana; and another ecdysiast, Ballimore's Blaze Starr. 


NEWSMAKERS | 


Joining the stampede to ac- 
knowledge bisexuality this year 
were British-born rock stars 
David Bowie (far left), who did 
it in the September Playboy In- 
terview, and Elton John (left), ` 
who told all in Rolling Stone. 
Similar admissions came from 
Janis lan and Rod McKuen, 


At left, Chicago's Gay Pride 
Parade entrants; above, San 
Francisco homosexual couple 
Dr. Thomas Waddell (who 
placed sixth in the decathlon at 
the 1968 Olympics) and Charles 
Deaton, a former CIA operative. 


FOLKS IN TROUBLE 


The expletive that can't be de- 
leted: Vice-President Nelson A. 
Rockefeller flashing the finger at 
hecklers in Binghamton, New York 
(right). Chicago cop Greg McDon- 
ald probably wishes the photo he 
sent to Easyríders bikers' maga- 
zine of a nude on his squad car 
(below) had been deleted; the re- 
sulting flap got him suspended. 


Former porn-film stars Harry Reems (above left) and Marilyn 
Chambers (above right, in her Le Bellybutton Revue) have 
been having their troubles with the law. Reems was con- 
victed in Memphis of obscenity-conspiracy charges stem- 
ming from his role in 1972's Deep Throat; Chambers was 
bustedfordancing nude ataLosAngeles movie-theater debut. 


SKIN'S IN 


This politician has nothing to hide: Eddie 
H. Collins hyped his candidacy for the 
Presidency of the U.S. by airing himself 
one chilly Sunday at Chicago's busiest 
intersection, State and Madison (below). 


Nona Montague (below) 
was crowned Miss Nude 
U.S.A. in San Bernardino 
while comedian Bill Dana, 
а Judge, huffed that the 
girls looked sexier before 
they took their clothes off. 


Linda and Joe Trosclair were wed in the buff in Newport, 
Kentucky (above); in Naked City, Indiana, Richard Buschin- 
ski (flanked by Miss Nude World and Miss Nude America, 
below left) became Mr. Nude Trucker. Below right, Califor- 
nia's Sun Dial Nudist Club staged a bowling tournament. 


STEAMING UP THE TUBE 


When this sort of thing—an 
uninhibited visit to a massage 
parlor (below)—cropped up 
on Midnight Blue over Manhat- 
tan Cable TV, executive wigs 
(not to mention some Con- 
gressional ones) flipped 


Onstage at the First Paris Porn Film Festival (from left): Robert Leray. 
at 50 named Best Actor; Jeanine Reynaud, one of the presenters of the 
phallus-shaped awards; Frederic Lanzac, director of Pussy Talk, Best 
Film; Claudine Beccarie, star of Exhibition and mistress of cere- 
monies. At right, Jean (Defiance) Jennings, chosen Best Actress. 


Meanwhile, on the net- 
works, the topic of 
homosexuality turned 
up on two ABC-TV se- 
ries the same week. 
Ken Olfson plays the 
swish roomie on The 
Nancy Walker Show 
(left); in Family (be- 
low left), regular Willie 
Lawrence can't ac- 
cept the fact that his 
friend Zeke was 
busted in a gay bar. 
The season's prize for 
off-the-wall sex, how- 
ever, goes to Norman 
Lear's Mary Hartman, 
Mary Hartman (bot- 
tom), in which Loret- 
ta's husband, Charlie, 
was to become guinea 
pig for history's first 
TV testicle transplant. 


Highlights from the land of X: Gerard 
(Deep Throat) Damiano's animated 
feature, Let My Puppets Come 
(above); Joe Middleton's Through 
the Looking Glass (left, with Catha- 
rine Burgess); and the Franco-Jap- 
anese production L'Empire des Sens 
(below), a sensation at Cannes but 
impounded by U.S. Customs on its 
way to the New York Film Festival 


HEAVY BREATHING AT THE MOVIES 


It was an odd sort of year in the 
motion-picture business. While 
many moviemakers were bend- 
ing over backward to avoid R 
(е! alone X) ratings or substitut- 
ing violence for sex, some film 
features got away with quite а 
bit. In Tracks, a politically hip 
leature directed by Henry Jag- 
lom, Dennis Hopper lets it all 
hang out while running through 
a moving train (right). But the 
movie that probably sent the 
greatest number of audience 
members directly home (or 
elsewhere) to bed was the Mar- 
lin Poll-Lewis John Carlino co- 
production of The Sailor Who 
Fell {гот Grace with the Sea, 
with Sarah Miles and Kris Kris- 
tofferson (below). portraying. 
respectively, a love-starved Brit- 
ish widow and a lusty Ameri- 
can merchant mariner who, very 
obviously, hit it off in the 
sack. (For more on Sarah and 
Kris, see last July's PLAYBOY.) 


141 


PLAYBOY 


142 


TROLLS Gr Gua 


were a bright spot of the Depression. 
What they ned was used to establish a 
pilgrims’ repose, a home lor aging hobos. 
grade school and early high school 


While she i 
spected the kitchen or the altar linen 
the Quonset chapel, he would steal away 
to sit with Father Moss, the uncompli 
lantern jawed 4 egrine su 
jor-general waiting for new arriv 
uth the girders of a nearby bridge 
where one rail line crossed over anothei 
Father Moss would talk of Saint Clochard 
and Saint Molyneux and the joys of hard 
And Buddy Hovacks would prom- 
mself hed be a Peregrine when he 
grew up. Then one or two limber old 
would drop down from a freight as 
it slowed on the grade, hoist their knap- 
walk toward F Moss's 
footed a 
much a brotherhood as the monks, 
with their own rituals and El Dorados. 
l, “Piss out the door of a moving 
and you'll be a hobo forever 
and told junking stories of a cert 
mountain siding where brass axle be: 
ings lay as thick as snow. Hearing them, 
Buddy Hovacks solved to be a 
knight ol the road when he grew up. 
But in high school he became some- 
thing of d after grad- 
uation n athletic 


he 


on 


scholarship, intending to go into pro ball. 
But the war cime along. Afte: 
in Korea, Buddy Hovacks came home 


and joined the Peregrines.| Religious 
communities thrive on war and they were 
the only one he 

The repose had grown shabby in the 
ars. Automatic 
dling vein of agate had 
reduced the Peregrines to making thic 
сш links and пе сі which they 
mounted on cards and sold where they 
could. Bit by their guests were drift 
ing ol. They didn't mind so much that 
the toilets didn't all Hush or macaroni 
without end or the broken television. (As 
ld Mr. Arnold remarked, the touch foot 
ball beween the novices like Buddy 
Hovacks and the younger priests beat 
television any day) But it was gening 
hard for the Peregrines to hide th 
problems and the old men would not be 
burden: 

One morning, 
der the bridge 
old-timers off on 


new. 


s they sat together un- 
fter having seen two 
wesbound freight, 
Father iced а fear to Buddy Ho- 
vacks that the situation might become 
worse, confiding in the young man not 
just because he was the grandson of the 
departed benefactress but 
abo because he was a novice with a stake 


Moss v 


(continued from page 78) 
п the order's future, "What if everybody 
goes to short sleeves? What if the bow tie 
“Te was hard for a man who 
was used to mining agate to find himself 
at the mercy of the whims ol fashion. 
Buddy had wanted to say, “Something's 
bound to turn up. But that hardly 
sounded appropriate to his new religious 


id. But that h; 
Selfsuflicieney was the he; 
Clochard's гий 

It was during his third year in the 
order that Buddy Hovacks received. the 
lateful call from ап old college roc 
mate then in public relations. Saint Foy, 
a large Catholic college in the Midwest, 
waned to sar oll a major lund drive 
with a bang. In return for a sizable do 
tion to the repose, did Buddy think a 
Peregrine would agree to be shot out of 
a cannon at the Saint Foy home-coming? 
Buddy Hovacks was sure Father Moss 
would never permit it. This story of Perc- 
grines shooting themselves Irom guns as 
column 
ils just would 
many 


sitting or Hindu beds of n 
not die and һай cost the ordi 
vocations. 

Half joking, Buddy Hovacks made an- 
other suggestion. His driend. мау inter- 
ed. Yes, a pleasant fall altermoon 
watching the famed Saint Foy Infidels 
brutalize а football team composed of 
sheltered, otherworldly monks might. be 
just the t 1d-nosed, both- 
Icevonalie 
their checkbook: 


if Mickey Rooney had ever su; 
they rent a barn and put on а musi 
But the rool of the repose was leaking 
into the third-floor hall and the guttering 
was all gone to hell and i: would be 
macaroni à lor dinner. Alter a token 
allowed himself 


he to be 


The game proved to be a PR man’s 
dream, making the wire services aud 20 
seconds on a network television show 
called Sports Oddities. Strangely enough. 
the Peregrine ‘Trolls beat the Saint Foy 
team 6-0. No one was more surprised 
than quarterback Buddy Hovacks. The 
Infidels had played far olf their game, 
Fhe win was а tonic for morale at the 
repose. The very next day, when Mount 
Saim Mungo, Saint Foys traditional 
al in the Holy Alliance, as the Cath- 
olic college lootball conference was 
called, wired a challenge to the Trolls, 
ther Moss accepted on the spot. M 
ulously. the Trolls won again, Thar s 
son, in exhibition games. they beat S 
Columba 


singlehandedly 
out Saint Lawrence, perennial 
toast of the gridiron, At every game, the 
older Peregrines moved through the 
stands selling felt Troll pe 

e canes. So the plumb 
roofers visited the repose. desserts re- 
turned and the comforting gunfire of the 
television could be heard in the gu 
common room. 

For the upcoming season, every team 
in the Holy Alliance scheduled 
one game with the Trolls. Indeed, the fans 
had taken the feisty little band of monks 
to their hearts, The Trolls played hard 
dean ball, asking no quarter and giving 


iness of those who had done 
level best. Half times were spent i 
yer or perhaps Father Moss would 
invoduce the representative of a 
пу whose whi for example, 
ame's receipts 
à with 


com 


monks with cowls up and h wed 
would cross to the opposing locker room, 
they would ask each player in turn 
we them if they had caused him 
pain, and then they would give the kiss 
ol peace all round. 

Some found the Trolls’ string of vic- 
tories ceric, Others claimed. the monks 
1 the strength of ten because their 
hearts were pure. Still others saw the 
hand of God in the whole business. But 
perhaps it was Monsignor Finn, vener- 
able sports columnist for the Boston 
Pilot, who came Closest to the truth when, 
well into their third season, he suggested 
the secret might be plain, old. 
fear of bell book and ca 
good Catholic boys ihe Peregrines pla 
st were put olf their 


people who use phy: gainst 
those in holy orders. But by the time the 
teams ol the alliance had aded th 
players thinking on this point, the Trolls 
their football legs and were 


g до attract some fine young 


begi 


hletes who wanted to combine sports 


1 the rel 
America defensive 
Dunn, or Blessed 88 
be called, and Stuart “Shoeless Sw” Tim- 
mons, an admirable kicker who joined 
them from the Discilced Carmelites. 

The publicity had also swelled the re- 
pose to bursting. The nest move would 
have to be а new dormitory and an addi 


ous life, among them all- 
inebacker Malachy 
as he would later 


ion to the infirmary. But in Father 
Moss's mind, playing exhibition games 


with Catholic colleges was even more pre- 
cuff links. Take the 
rumor that the Trappists were about to 
get three of their people onto the P.G.A 

(continued on page 144) 


ESKIMO 


KING 
PATIENT 


KAPLAN'S 


another batch of 
singularly constructed little guys 


BACK IN November 1975, Ervin L. Kaplan's diminutive 
gentlemen and their appendages put in their first ap- 
pearance before an appreciative audience. Encoring by 
popular demand, but with a new cast, the troupe is 
better, if not bigger, than ever. Kaplan’s characters 
must surely have as their motto “Jn genitalia veritas.” 


PLAYBOY 


144 


TROLLS OF Gow 
tour. Were the Trolls, darlings of the 


moment, about to be replaced in the pub- 
lies 


or? Haunted by the Peregrine 


or with Buddy Hovacks under the га 
road bridge, trying to find a way to put 
the Trolls on a pern t and more 
businesslike Later. neither man 
would recall who actually came up w 


basis. 


Moss quickly called a news con: 
ference in which he categorically denied 
that the Peregrines and Notre Dame 
University were negotiating the terms of 
a Trolls-Fighting Irish clash. That same 
afternoon, a puzzled president of Notre 
Dame confirmed Father Moss's der 
adding that however exemplary the Pere 
grine cause, the Fighting Irish never 
played ag at he described 
епу foot 
spiced the debate as the national media 
and the sporting world questioned wheth- 
зму Notre Dame could, in fact, beat 
ated team of monks who many 
playing under divine pro- 
her Moss merely bided his 
nouthed. Sooner than he e 
pected, а telegram arrived and he was 
able to call а second news conference 
nd announce the matter settled once 
and for Rome had instructed him 
that under no circumstances would 
game between the Trolls Notre 
Dame be allowed. 

Shock waves and umbrage followed. 
Congressmen viewed with 
tempt by а foreign power to. meddle in 
зис ан s. Southern seam- 
out haltforgouen pauerns 
g burnable effigies of the Pope 
As if on orders, the Seventh 
ghed anchor and disappeared 


ol Tua 

Two days 
men in black with tu 
ed from a Va 


ned-up coat col 
Mir jet at nearby 
Nirport ing left and 
ight, hurried across the tarmac 10 the 
Peregrines’ rehabilitated school bus. Min- 
пех later, they w the re 
pose with an awed Father Moss and а 
gently sweating president of Notre Dame. 
Monsignor Spagnol air spokes- 
шп of the clerical. visitors, apologized 
us arrival, explain 
d grown up in the Vatican 
e service under the venerable 
Cardinal Barducci, who had always cau- 
tioned them that the Roman nose must 


e closeted at 


move circumspectly in the Ed. of the 
Punic elephant. ‘Then he suggested i 


had brought them 

Here the president of Now 
terposed. Might he offer a solutio 
ng for a canny smile, he ren 


Tn 
arked that 


(continued from page 142) 
however uncharitable 
about the Peregr 
they had had the desired effec 
networks had alrcady apj 
with firm offers for a | 
Irish game. Considering the worthiness 
me could 


his sentiments 


ies might have sounded, 
Two 


eyebrows Romanesque 
arches all round amid ап embarrassed 
ring of throats. The president of 
Nowe Dame looked up again uneasily. 
“Seventy-five, twenty-five?” he offered. 
her" explained Monsignor Spa- 
gnoli with quiet firmness, “under no cr- 
cumstances could Holy Mother Church 
allow this proposed contest to take place. 
It would set Catholic against Catholic, 
rosary ag ary and rend the se: 
less garment of American Catholi 
The damage would be i 

threat of schism r 

game. The only questio 
is how we extricate ourselves. fr 
situation gracefully.” 


tors smoked cigarettes ele- 
nd eliminated one sol пег 
another. Trumped-up illness or injury 
would only delay the inevitable. Playing 
to ati isparent. While the 


ie 
president of Notre D: 
out of control, some con 
given to both teams’ ig from foot- 
ball. But it was decided that would be 
throwing the baby out with the bath. The 
silence herween suggestions had grown 
uncomfortably long when Father Moss 
interrupted. the gloom by slapping his 
knee as though thunderstruck. gh 
ter that greeted his solution was tired but 
good-natured. Only Monsignor Spagnol 

iled to join in. Shooting his cuffs, the 
her Moss а scolding 
ke of the head and an admiring smile, 
izing that they had been led into a 
trap from which there was only one 
cape. knowing that before he and his 
colleagues walked back across the ele- 
phant-gray tarmac to their plane, the 
monks of the Peregrine Order would 
have Rome's permission to field a profes- 
sional football team, After all. as Father 
Moss had observed, one could ex- 
pect the Fighting Irish to play against 
professionals. 


no 


. 
Father Hovacks smiled out the oval 
adow at the lateafternoon clouds, Yes, 


they had pulled it off. Their next move 
1 been a sound one financially: ‘The 
Trolls had joined the Seven Deadl 
League. The public 


1 fis, where brute 
Ікей brute and padded officials with 
heavyhandled whips and chairs were 
poised on the side lines to rush out and 
€ slavering pigeyed linesmen from 
the body of a fallen quarterback. But a 
sskin League game w ke watching 
kals battle hyenas. Unable to glory 
the victory of one side or the defeat of 
the other, the public stayed away in 
To turn all this around, the 
league had been prepared to offer the 
popular Trolls most generous terms. For 
their part, the Percgrines were prepared 


and daw, tromp 


аз 


droves. 


to sacrifice their winning streak for the 
good of the repose. 
To everyone's surprise, the Trolls 


edged the New Vork Gol 
their first profession 
shut our the Houston Pharaohs 9-0 in 
ihe second, The handofGod people 
smiled wisely. Later, they would point to 
the mi g the Trolls’ win over 
the Philadelphia Philistines that figured 
so prominently in the beatilicition pr 
ceedings of Malachy Dunn to prove thei 
с On the her 
Moss, who id more to 
y behind with the elderly guests at the 
repose, was pr 

of the chapel, wh 


ying in the candled gloom 
his 


he felt а hand oi 


shoulder, turned found 
Dunn standing there in full [ooth 
form. Before Father Moss could 


he "tin Philadelphia, where he be 
longed, the figure motio to follow 
id led the oss to the main buil 
ing and up to а smoke-filled second-floor 
room whose occupant had fall 
smoking in bed. The apparition | 

Moss shove the gi 
mattress out the w 
Moss tur 


even helped F: 
ing and smolderi, 
dow. 


Bur 


when F ed 
it w 
instant. on a playing 
the country, 50,000 spectators and a tele- 


vision audience of ions were watch- 


ing Malachy Dunn and the Trolls defense 
fight to stem a Phi drive. And 
yet the Philistines’ Hardesty 


would claim that when he went charging 
around the s one of the de 


coys in the old hidden-ball play, he 
been stopped dead not by Malachy Dunn 
but by ith a 


Even so, as Buddy Hovacks was 
quick to insist. the Philistines 
ally made a first down on the play 
divine 1 involved 
had been directed at saving the repose 
and its guests from fiery destruction, not 
at winning a football game for the Trolls. 

Other less clear on either 
side. Consider that first New York game. 
Goliarhs Ehwood “Third 
Avenue ara's chronic bad 
kne that no Peregrine 
I with, which says some 
power 


cases w 


ever visit 
for the 
m to devel 

But as he 


d 
pa spectacular pass- 
10 meet the 


of pra 


ing gam ran ou 


A great classic sports car, 
refined. 


Introducing 
the 1977 MGB. 


How do you improve on a living classic? Very 
P L^ thoughtfully. But very consistently. For, while MGB 
^- remains a classic wide-open convertible sports саг, 
lean andlow and nimble enough to win the SCCA Class E 
Championship again this year for a total of five wins in six years, 

itis also being continually refined. 

This year. for example, we have redesigned the instru- 
ment panel to make the tachometer, odometer and 7 
gauges тоге сїеапу visible. The car handles even 
better than previous MGs because we improved 
the rack gearing to reduce turning effort and made 


j 
thepadded steering wheel smaller in diameter for quicker А 2 $ 
response. We also added anti-roll bars front and rear for Ҹ " n 
increased handling stability. Weve added small but welcome 2 
improvements in the form of а zip-down rear window for better ven- \ 
tilation with the top up. Theres also a new 


System of heating controls that is 
easier to use. 


Anditall comes wrappedin the brisk, lithe, responsive sports 
car America has long loved. The 1977 MGB comes equipped 

with decisive disc brakes, quick rack and pinion steering, 
short-throw four-speed stick, race-proven suspension and a gutsy 
1798 ccengine. 


What it adds up to is more fun in a car that is world-famous for pure 
pleasure in driving. Drive the newest edition of the wide-open MGB. For the name of the dealer гавттен 
nearest you, call these numbers toll-free: (800) 447-4700, or, in Illinois, (ВОО) 322-4400. 
МОВ. The wide-open sports car. 
British Leyland Motors Inc. Leonia, New Jersey 07605. [сеу ATE] 


Retinement: 
| aredesigned instrument 
panel and cockpit. 


Refinement: 
а zip-down rear window. 


145 


PLAYBOY 


Trolls that day, Macnamara discovered 
that his knees were sound as a dollar. 
While his terrible teammates wondered 
1 happened to the high-flying 
egy that was to end the monks 
winning streak, Macnamara turned the 
game into a jubilee of new-found legs, 
sneaking when he should have gone for 
the pitch-out, running when he should 
have tried the long bomb and scrambling 
for sizable losses at an 


who 


offensive line, hoped 
10 become public executioner 
his home state? OF all the night courses 
for the required high school diploma, 
geometry most threatened ish's 
dream, Crouched there for the opening 
play against the Trolls, Garmish wasn't 
thinking about geometry but of how he 
would convert Brother Gerard “Shy Ge- 


nose, into a lush carpet of torn flesh 
crushed bone down wh 
ier Lawrence "Най 


a light seemed to come on between Gar- 
mish's eyes and he straightened up 
wonderment. Talbot ran head down and 
rmish’s back. 
arms and into 
ds of Shy Gerard, who was off 
and running back down the field, prais- 
ing God all the way. Turning, Garmish 
grabbed the snarling and biting Talbot 
by lapels of flesh and shook him, cs 
plaining, “Hey, hey, the square ‘pote- 
noose right angle triangle does equal 
squares other two sides.” 

Buddy Hovacks dismissed these stories 
as luck—and very good luck, at that, for 
Macnamara and Garmish. God, he knew, 
did not meddle in football games. He 
yearned for a defeat to silence those who 
believed otherwise. 
Still the Trolls’ wi 
nued. They turned back di 
Huns, trounced the Chicago Le 
id humbled the Bay Arca Behemoths. 
The devout found this edifying. The 
skeptics only shook their heads and said, 
“Wait till they play the Golden Calves.” 

The Golden Galvest The California 
Golden Calves! The prime of the Pigskin 
League! The Golden Calves were unde- 
feated and unscored upon in human 
memory. ‘Their infamous Mount Rush- 
more defense seemed to have been carved 
from a single block of stone and moved 
out onto the field with rollers. The back- 
fidd was peopled by snake-hipped titans 
and bolts of greased ligh 
“Poxy” Peters, Bonar “Mr. Bone: 
son, “Malign Sam” Withers and ^ 


Unsa 
gene” who, some said, had 
sold his soul to the Devil for а giant's 


Me body to match his giant brain. A massive- 


browed, cruel-lipped genius, Rhada 
had once looked directly into a television 
camera and caught 40,000,000 viewers 
like a weasel mesmerizes its rabbit. prey. 
He had held them with his unbli 
ice-blue gaze, read their souls ý 
with a contemptuous sneer, had turned 

i „ һе was obliged by 


ng, a strange quickening 
around the world marked the approach 
of the inevitable encounter. The Trolls- 
Golden Calves game became the subject 
of a universal monomania, preoccupy 
every thought, word and deed. In Afr 
tives began the long treks to the jungle 
clearings where Western missionaries, 
hopeful of an inspirational Troll victory, 
had set up television sets. In Moscow's 
posh commissars clubs, posh folding 
chairs were being unfolded before sercens 
omo which Red-Eye, the Rusian spy 
satellite, would convey the game. The 
Vatican was a beehive of prayer. 

Buddy Hovacks hadn't been able to 
understand the fuss. To him, it was just 
another game. Some you win and some, 
у. you lose. But the next day 
yowre ош there again, doing the wind 
spi d scrimmaging. getting ready 
for the next game down the road. Most 
of all, Buddy Hovacks was perplexed by 
the silent crowd that came to stand each 
ау at the turnolE to the repose to watch 
h strained and anxious faces as the 
bus took the Trolls to the Lomax High 
School practice field and brought them 
ck арай 
Ac last, at last, the game arrived. As 
millions caught their breath and mothers 
everywhere covered their d s eyes, 
the Golden Calves spilled out onto the 
giant, televised egy of artificial tur! 
backfield came first, supple gian 
cadaverous neargreen, nearpurple uni- 
forms. The stump-footed hulks of the line 
followed, making the ground shak 

Before a White How 
wide-eyed Russian ambassador, unable to 
contain himself, grabbed the U. S. Secre- 
tary of Defense by the upperarm flexor 
and blurted, “W. Theodore, I have been 
uthorized to tell you that we have de- 
vised a cola-colored liquid th ses 
the surface of the human skin to contract 
violently on exposure to sunlight." He 
cocked his head apologetically. “We had 
ld it to your drinking water 
only if attacked. We offer it to you now. 
Our people on the scene will give it to 
your people on the scene. When these 
Golden Calves run. back. out after what 
you call half time, they will all turn in- 
side out like reversible raincoats. 

Without ag his eyes from the 
screen, where the white-uniformed Trolls 
had appeared, looking like hospital at- 
tendants running to the scene of the 


ts 


television set, a 


own accident, the Secretary of Defense 
said contemptuous! Viktor, we have an 
odorless, tasteless mist that causes marrow 
to liquefy and run. In two seconds flat, 
our enem ps of hollow, 
brittle boi Ше in the wind, a 
dead give: ight fighting. Can you 
people understand why we can’t use that 
mist here, old buddy? Can you sec it goes 
to the heart of our one real moral im- 
perative: ‘If you can't beat them. then 
you must join them?” A telephone be- 
gan to 


‘HE Ivan's 


then you must 


sisted the Russian. “We 
samovar makes better te 
buy your glass from him." " 

Laughing at this pitiable the 
Secretary of Defense picked up the tele- 
phone, listened. frowned and put the 
ceiver down. He turned to the third m 
sitting in an casy chair. "Mr. President? 
ed gently. The President of the 
d States acknowledged his Secr 
of Defense by drawing a set of raw 
knuckles from his mouth. “Mr. President, 
the Golden Calves have arranged jet- 
isportation to take them to 
the United N. s Building afterward. 

"The President whimpered and cramped 
the knuckles » his mouth. On the 
зо called be- 
st, had just run 
k 85 yards for a 


age, 


the Trolls’ 
touchdow 

Though the Golden Calves’ arrogant 
the ball in for an extra point 
iled with Poxy Peters pulled down on 
the опе, а Peregrine hanging from every 
limb, Buddy Hovacks soon 
were to be the masters of the field that 
day. He was sacked repeatedly, his passes 
чей down by а moving palisade of 
colossal hands, his running plays stopped 
dead by the deep-rooted Golden Calves 
defense. That the Golden Calves didn't 
score again gave him no satisfaction. It 
was clear Unsavory Eugene was toying 
with everybody, keeping the game on the 
ground to wear down the Trolls and 
build up the crowd's hopes. As the sec- 
ond quarter drew to a close, the monks 
were mauled, exhausted and visibly slow 
off the snap. Their vaunted knees were 
beginning to buckle. 

‘Then, all of a sudd the Golde 
Calves were hit with a pair of penalties, 
one for biting the official who brought 
the two-minute warning to their bench, 
another when three Iden Calves, 
crazed by the smell of fresh blood, started 
a fight in the huddle. With 30 seconds to 
go, the ‘Trolls found themselves within 
held-goal range. Shoeless Stu trotted out 
and did stall, The half ended Golden 
Calves 6, Trolls 3. 

The crowd was still singing We Shall 
Overcome and dancing with wild aban. 
don when the two teams returned at the 


knew who 


pt 
gov 


Bi 


X 4 


АБЕ 
Зрада" 


фит prow 


“I just wish you wouldn't refer to 


this as locking the barn door... . 


147 


end of half time. The Golden. Calves 
appeared refreshed, thicker and taller. 
But the Trolls had risen stiffly from the 
pr The see: tle of the 
quarter seemed calculated to m 
the сока fever pitch. First the Trolls 
would fight the good fight almost into 
ficld-goal position, paying dearly Го 
inch. Then the Golden Calves would 
push the 
the fourth q 
drive petered out on their own 
less Stu's desperate kick fell to earth short 
and ro the left. The groan was universal, 
With purposeful stride, Unsavory Eu 
пе led the Golden Calves’ offense back 
по the field and long huddle. 1 
the silence, the s ad pen- 
nants snapped like 
les heads rose up out 


w 


PLAYBOY 


aundry while neck- 


f the bunched 
Golden Calves to leer and dr 
line Г monks. 
moved through the crowd. whe 
vory Eugene stripped off his d 
ses and crushed them into black pow- 
der in his fist. Then he sauntered over to 
. grinning left and right at the 
like able wolf, and held 
up all ten fingers. Оп that. play. Mr. 
Bones carried the ball ten yards, no 
more, no less. Had he chos 


band. 


k 


t0 continue. 


there was little the Trolls could have 
done to prevent him. Watching from 
the side lines, Buddy Hovacks knew the 


ver. But he was proud of his 
cs. Like true Peregrines, each had 


snap. Rebel Snelgrove kneed 
tered his way up the center through i 
lead-dimbed blear-eyed 
the ball exactly 15 yards to the 


aud monks 10 


hurry now, Unsavor 
"und. hands on hips. desp 
1 crowd. In his own good 1 
ned a pass and raised ten fi 


gene 


we would follow.) He flexed his 
("Twenty said the crowd) He 
flexed them again. ("Fhirty." said the 
crowd.) He added one more upturned 
iddle finger and showed it 
making the crowd moan. Ar last, the 
merciless cadence began. Blessed 88 and 
the Trolls’ defense waited for the assault. 
Suddenly. the wind turned chill. High 
on the rim of the stadium, а desper: 
ip of spectators who had clambered 
w themselves 


te 


k pillar of cloud. rushed into vie 
ма As Unsa cocked his pasing 


arm, the li flashed. As Mali 
Sam. having outdistanced the stumbl 
monk defense, reached up out of the end 

Лиу thunderclap made the 
ground shake. The ball seemed to joggle 
in the air and bounce off the tips of his 
fingers. Fearful of Un gene, who 
had never thrown an incomplete pass he- 
fore, Withers kept right on running out 
of the stadium and was never secn a 
boil, Unsavory Eugene called 
the cloud and struck out 
forearm 


ngrily with 1 
linesman, Axel 
crushing the man 
shell, (dn Washir 
the Russi 
ag in a circle in cach other's 
ms, while the President, kneeling with 
daspo hands belore the tclevision set. 
promised fervently that he'd be good.) 
Fhe cloud hung in the sia- 
m sky. darin, ng, threat- 
g with thunder. Unsavory Eugene 
had to dri teammates back to 
the line of scri with his fists. The 
crowd cheered hoarsely or shed tears of 
silent joy. Loving the cloud with their 
d for the Golden Calves 
› be turned. back The whistle 
surprised them. Everyone had forgotten 
the Trolls, g in their defensive 
huddle. except an official. The 
сай was delay ol g The thunder dis- 
approved. The official could only repeat 
У to the cloud and 
ide lines with a 


ionless 


d 


his 


scamper for the 
stitching of short light: 
his legs. The stadium rang with relieved 
sughter, What did five yards matter now? 

The penalty walked off, the Trolls 
followed Blessed 88 back 10 their huddle 
nd stayed there. In a minute, the official 
was obliged to blow his whistle 
Ww abject gri shrug а 
cloud, he led the monks back anothe 


ag bolts between 


five yards, On the third. whistle. the 
crowd stived uncomfortably and Un- 
ne stroked his scowling jaw. 


was no place for pillars of cloud. 
As if it grasped the ‘Trolls’ imperti- 
ence, the cloud swelled with т, blot 
ng out the sky. A kettledrum darkness 
fell and an icy, sharp-edged wind howled 
and rushed about the stadium. The spec- 
tators crouched and wembled behind the 
seats, The Golden Calves pawed the 
withered polymer and crowded together, 
ham to ham, as rhinos do 
But the Trolls only bowed their heads in 
prayer. Twice more, armed with fash- 
ng against the wind, the 
Is marked off the penalties. 

The Trolls were back to the five be 
fore the thunder stopped, the wind fell 
the cloud, re 
glided off 
op the stadium 


in snow: 


lights and le: 


otf. 


shirts and. coats like castaways trving. to 

hail a passing ship. (In Washington, the 

Secretary of Defense and the Russian 
bassador clasped cach oth ror 

while the President. shuffling forw: 

his knees, 


ho 
rd оп 
levision set in 
o the 


эм 


н sunshine on the 
ates по go. Dark with 
y Eugene shook his fist in 
the direction the cloud had gone and 
an his count. He intended to settle 
rolls’ hash then and there with a 
quick һап ой t0 Peters and straight up. 
the middle. But ay Peters reached out to 
take the ball, Unsavory Eug 
sight of Blessed 88, who. as y 
cusing himself as he 
‚ жаз char wd the left end. 
Then blood filled Unsavory Eugene's 
ightarming the astonished Peters, 
arterback of the Golden С 
ded he would break this 
i freak who ca 
than about how he pla 
game. When, with an apologetic 
smile, Blessed 88 launched himself lor a 
tackle, Unsavory Eugene seized him by 
the throat in mid-air and held him there 
na m 
ing by sheer brute force to drive the foot 
Lup the Peregrine’s nose. Again and 
again, he drove the leather missive into 
d 88's face. Then, made clumsy by 
he smashed the ball against 

ys helmet and it popped ош of his 
hand, At just that 


astrous Clutch of resolv- 


sers. 


потем. Shy Gerard, 
me had been delv- 
t the Golden Calves’ offensive 
© the Wu 
he was, saw daylight. As the miraculous 
corntiower breaks through the densest 
tarmac, Shy Gerard pierced the Golden 
ic and. there 
П. He tucked it away 
the field for a 


Holy Moly Peregrine 


ilves” 
was the h 
down 
anyone т 


his finger tips 
1 was 
before 


touchdow 


he slipped on a 
E Blessed 88's blood at the Trolls 
tin ly one more | 
pass to Rebel 
^s into the 
dow of the Good- 


s he cha 
But the sl 


year blimp 
Suelgrove start and look up. à 
doud had come back. The 
bounced off his chest, Without bre: 
stride, Rebel Snelgrove followed M 
am Withers footsteps ош of 
dium. He did not eve 
gun sound to eud the ga 

Later, when the Trolls visited the 
en Calves’ locker room deep in the bowels 
of the stad ask forgiv ad si 
e cc all round, Unsavory 
Eugene few into such a rage and stamped 
his foot so hard il anished right 


NS 


ve Й 
са FA й 
2 | | 


ха 


TERR 


20 FI 
ES 


agp y 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


through the floor 
The Golden Calvi nded afte 
the members going north of the border 
to play in the Canadian league. 

For the next few years, the repose and 
its building program prospered. Truc to 


a shop- — Father Moss by the wri 
Trappist up beside him. “Anywhere,” said 
а cheese Moss, watching the young priest st 
d yellow; Bene- to keep up with the train. “Из 
пе benedictine; Christian Brothers get the show back on the road. Ivs head- 
1d brandies. He found no inspira- quarters in the saddle for the next P. 
the if-you-can'Lheat-them-join-them spirit, prine superior-general or three.” Father 
the players on the other teams expe: ng the door lever, the Zuch boy — Hovacks had managed to keep abreast of 
enced religious conversions of one kind said, "Goodbye and good luck, Father- the door. But then the gravel turned soft 
nother, Testy Len Hardesty, for ex- Not being a С, underfoot and he started to drop back. 
ple. published a ghostwritten book on rassed to call the priests Father, he ran Father Mos nodded at the suitcase. 
sels and Unele Maim spoke regularly all their names together like that. When “Chuck it,” he suggested. 
lies on behalf of the Deity Father Hovacks stood up, he found that Cheeses,” gasped Father Hovacks. Im- 
who made "all squares "potenoose equal — they had stopped at the side of the hi pressed, Mr. Arnold swung out spryly on 
squares other two sides." Nevertheless, a half mile beyond the Peregrine on ad. when the priest hoisted it. 
"t long before the Pigskin League lho he grabbed the suitcase. Now the young 
went into a fatal decline. Some con- And goodbye, bus, hello, chicken priest was able to lunge ahead, ger his 
nected this with the untimely death of added the boy, as though the — chest on the floor and pull himseif imo the 
Blessed 88, who contracted blood poison- priest would understand the je саг. He sat back against a wall and fought 
rsing a razor-blade commercial. Through the open Чоогу to recover his breath, 
But Monsignor Finn may once Hovacks could see a group of f ^ad we didn't lose you there,” said 
th the railroad bridge. When he stuck Father Moss dryly. “You're wearing the 
ad out the door, опе of the black suit. | didn't say we'd never need 
it Father Mossz—waved and gestured him it again." He sniffed the air appreciative- 
its own way. on. With a vague goodbye to Wayne ly- “Smells like elephant.” he 5 
aly and hyenas are better than Zuch, he maneuvered his suitcase out good omen. And thousand.mile paper, 
id Gaston. The league loun- through the door. As the bus towered too, ch. Mr. Arnold?” He gestured at the 
the milk of its own human large paper tatters ha g rom the walls, 
evidence that the сағ had. recently been 
used to carry grain. At Mr. Amold's nod, 
Catholic college football but discovered like path down through the weeds and ored what he'd learned, 
that their place in the fans’ hearts bad high grasses. As he went nearer, he saw ng that that kind of paper was 
been taken by the Sisters of Lambreto. that all the Peregrines and the 20 or so sought after as ground sheeting. Some w: 
а daredevil motorcycle t posed of guests who remained at the repose were — heavy enough to last only 502 miles. 
Italian nuns, For a while, they survived — waiting there under the bridge. And Rome?" ventured Father Hovacks 
hy playing exhibition games with schools ather Moss came forward to meet him, 
like Southern Methodist, Chiistim as if to hurry him о 'wo bolog 
and Brigham Young, which were pre- sandwiches and a pear" said the old 
pared to pay out good money for the nding him а brown-paper bit 
satisfaction of whipping a team of Papist " said Father Ном: 
monks. But soon cnough, even those then, those under the bridge who h 
mes were hard to come by. Back at been sitting got to their feet and the 
the repose, the ghost of Father Perry's gue: n checking kmapsacks like 
What walked abroad in the shadow of instructors preparing their 


and helped him 


PLAYBOY 


or 


wi 


ed in 
kindness. 


The Trolls attempted 10 return to 


m coi 


When you gave us the word on the 
Piebald people. 1 wrote to Monsi 
ad asked for a favor, опе 
ked him to mislile the Pere- 
ine packet. God willing, itll be years 
before anyone over there even thinks of 
us 


gui 
But what will we do?” asked Father 
Hovacks. But the question was half 


the half-finished social center and through pers. Scared. Raia eaten, he d тей 
the weedy foundations of the planned Meaning the keys Шей шй ре was pérfecily contentio) be where 
geriatrics clinic. 1 Father Moss, pulling him along. The pe was with everything that had been 

In desperation, the Peregrines had re all trouing f ppearing behind them in the growing 


started а flock of goats, aging а moldy First № 
cheese deep in the shafts of the agate — know it yet, but it just 

ne. Father Hovacks—he had been or- and а hall-built home for 
ned five years before—had been ighis of the road and foolish monks. k up into gangs, two parts 


9 


chosen to carry the А slow Ireight came into view around us. one par Arnold's people. We've 
© Piebald Fathers, the bead. The men along the tracks be got n. When the next gencr- 
ler originally from Schleswig Holstein gan to jog ahead up the grade. ation comes by to ride the rods, we'll show 


Just like that we hop a train?” de. them how and give what help we сап. 
manded Father Hovacks breathlessly, for WEN live by junking and cat wild straw 
the sui kward to run with, ies from along the track. And once a 
ther Moss pressed his lips together т, we'll come together in council under 
1 nodded. “Mr. Arnold and his people а bridge to be determined ” He 
ly consented to teach us the shrugged and stood watching the shadows 
. ropes if we're quick learners.” The two Who knows what to do? But the 
The old school bus was waiting in the d reached the tacks. Ahead World is too much with us, Father,” he 
Lomax Airport park yne Late and soon, getting 
Zuch, the fa ness of the empty her, we laid waste our 
the wheel. Fathe i after it. crs.” nd. 
100 deep in the frustrating realm of Father s" panted Father Continuing in the same voice, said, “Piss 
Perry's What to wonder why. While the the door of a mov 
т scenery hurried by on both sides in an open doorway, Mr. lt be a hobo forever. 
180 of the darkening road, he tried to prime hed out skillfully, grabbed a 


for an American blue. Loading Father 
Hovacks down w 1 assortment. of 
their product, they a on his way. 


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PLAYBOY 


152 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW ‘continued from page 71) 


directors of NORML. I think the Playboy 
хес apressed to find out that 
we were scrious—we weren't а bunch of 
ack-offs, A few weeks later, D got a call 
saying that we should submit a budget 
nd 1 should go to Chicago and meet 
Hugh Hefner. So we drew up a proposed 
budget for $60,000 а year and I flew to 
Chicago t0 meet Hefner. 

PLAYBOY: How did the meeting go? 
STROUP. lt had its ups and downs, 
begin with, the night before the meeting, 
Burton Joseph, a Chicago lawyer who' 
the director of the fou took me 
out to dinner and 1 di 
tell you the truth, 1 was nervous, 
was into grass by then and h 
much alcohol in a couple of y 
jus got drunk and stayed out too 
х ext morni 


o 


ank too much. To 
nd I 


special point to come to this meetin; 
I arrived ar the Mansion hung over 
nervous, my hands shaking, but wearing 
best suit «| determined to 
mike а good impression. And this beauti- 
ful young lady sat me down and a butler 
in a tuxedo brought me coffee on a silver 
t incredible. My dreams 
had come lly. Joseph appeared 
id took. me into the living room of the 
Mansion, where the meeting. was being 
held, and I walked in and T could see 
Hefner and eight or ten of his executives 
sitting at a table and I was nervous as hell, 
and as I started down the steps, I slipped 
rly fell fat on my a 


id nca 
on the floor, 


nd 


was dow 


farm boy who couldn't 
even walk into a meeting right. 

PLAYBOY: Hell, Hefner probably didn't 
like meetings any more than you did. 


beside him. and started. asking me ques 
tions about my proposal. There was dis- 
cussion, and some of his executives 
questioned whether that was the time t0 
get into the marijuana issue, and it w: 
«саг to me that Hefner was more sympa- 
thetic dan some of the others were. 
PLAYBOY: What was the upshot of the 
meeting? 

STROUP: When 1 got back to Washi: 
Joseph called and said the Playboy Foun- 
ion would us S3000 10 start 
ost turned him down. At 
time, I had а wife and a child and 
new house, and he wanted me to go out 
to the hard, cruel world on 55000. But 
he convinced me that if we good 
job, there'd be more money coming, so 
we took the $5000 
1971, NORML ofh 


gion, 


NORML. I a 
th: 


in the 1: here on M Street, 


PLAYBOY: What were you doing in those 
early days? 
STROUP: Not a lot. Puuing together an 


lvisory board. 
s happenin, 
first big th 
PLAYBOY 


Trying to find ош what 
ound the country. The 
that happened was when 
е NORML a free, 
inc. We thought 
t would solve ou problem. It 
the Vietnam Veterans А, 
the War an ad, and it had brought 
п 5100.000. We thought we'd 
: ich. too. 
PLAYBOY: What kind of ad did vou 
STROUP: It was headed “Pot Shots” and had 
a mug shot of a young guy who'd been 
vested for таги: id it told about 
NORML. So the ad n PLAYBOY and 
we received maybe $2000 as a result of it. 
was, people didn't know if we 
were for real. NORML didit e except 
in my basement and in my mind. People 
ing to send us money and their 
id addresses, not knowing if we 


"I don't do cocaine much, 
because its terribly 
expensive and the legal risk 
is incredible. It's not 
addictive, but the author- 


ities treat it a: 


if it were heroin." 


be a front for the Burcau of 
Narcotics. 
PLAYBOY: So you h; 
STROUP: That's right, we had to do some 
work. But we still didn't have any money 
AM we had were a lot of letters the 
had brought in—lrom smokers, from 
people in jail, from people who wanted 
help—and 1 was becoming а pen pal 
to all of them, I'd write. back. 
“Thanks for writiu 
we'll be back in touch with a project. 
t we didn't have any projects. We 
didn’t know what the hell to do. We had 
no money, we couldn't travel, we had no 
ms. 1 was afraid we were becoming 
I didn't want to be part of that. 
N71, 1 went back to PI 
and said, " r get dn or 
get out. Give us a year's budget so we 
сап do some work.” And Playboy gave us 
a commitment of $100,000 for the next 
ar. That obviously a whole new 
р. 
PLAYBOY: 


уюу 


Lennon rally and the guy in Flor 
ed to give you money. Do you те 
member those? 
STROUP: How с 
rally was in 1971 
young home builder 
very interested. in 
Tha when the 
to deport Lennon be 
victed in England on a ma 
Хо this fellow decided to stage 
get money and support for Lennon's 
cause, Some of us thought that n 
ad the means to take : of himself, but 
that’s what this guy was determined to do. 
PLAYBOY: Who came to the rally? 

STROUP: Every radical activist’ һе could 
find. Black Lee Otis Johnson was 
there and poet John Sinclair, both just 
out of prison on victions. 
And I and writer Karl Hess and Tony 
Russo, from the P ial. and 
Vernon Bellecourt, one of the leaders of 
the American Indian movement. Our host 
rented a speedway for the rally and there 


«kd 1 forget? The Lennon 
- Fhad met this successful 
a Phoenix who was 
the m 


Leni 


were helicopters to fh from the 
трон and chauffeured Lincoln. Conti 
s to ferry us around, and air- 


conditioned tail 


s for us at the speed 
and security police to protect us from. 
the hordes of Lennonites who were sup: 
posed to fill the speedway. 

PLAYBOY: Whit happened to the hordes? 
STROUP: They never showed up. Th 
were maybe 400 people i 
40,000 or 50,000 he'd expecied, 
PLAYBOY: But the show went on 
STROUP: Oh. sure; we had 
speeches to the empty 
ích like complete fool 
PLAYBOY: Did Lennon show? 


STROUP: He not only didn't show, he 
didn't even recognize it as an official 
function. He wouldn't even s Tew 
words via long-distance phone. It was one 


of those cases where you give a party and 
nobody comes. But T will say this, it wa 
cresting weekend. 

PLAYBOY: Tell us about your hene 
Florida. 


tor in 


That fellow 
called me and said he'd inherited a lot 
of money from his uncle and he wanted 
to give NORML $100,000 and be ot 

Needless то say, 1 
Florida, and he 
He was а lawyer 
ge looking fellow. We drove 


was 


met me 
and 


to his house and й was in a neat. well 
trimmed, prosperous. neighborhood. and 
suddenly you reached his house and therc 


was 1 
and vines 
had су 


jungle. Overgrown with weeds 
id hes nd trees—nothing 
been wimmed. There wasn't 
had to fight your way 
ig needed a machete, W 
struggled into the house and. the fellow 
explained that he didn't believe in kill- 
ing anything that lived, and that included 
grass and weeds and trees. Well, the inside 
of the house was bizarre, too—filthy, 
stacks of junk everywhere, the class 


Sb 
So 


“Well, as I always say,“ 


PLAYBOY 


hermit’s abode. People kept coming by 
and telling him hard-luck stories, and he 
ve away 510,000 or so while I was there. 
But you didn’t get any? 
STROUP: No, because I decided the fellow 
probably "t competent and it might 
have been criminal, or at least unethical, 
10 tal money. I left town and never 
heard from him ag; 
PLAYBOY: Let's talk about the drug scene 
in general. Besides marijuana, what drugs 
have you used? 
STROUP: I've uicd just about every drug, 
except heroi 
PLAYBOY: How do you rate the others? 
STROUP: Well. cocaine is ап interesting 
drug to use occasionally. 1 wouldn't want 
do it often. because you're very con- 
scivus that you're under the influence of 
a drug. But you get a lot of work done. 
If you've got a paper to write, for cx- 
ple, and you've been putting it off, you 
n take a couple of good hits of cocaine 
id 12 hours later you've got your paper. 
The reason 1 don't do cocaine much is, 
fast, it’s terribly expensive and, second, 
the legal risk is incredible. It's not ап 
addictive drug, but the authorities teat 
y if it were heroin. 
PLAYBOY: Shall we tell the w 
NORCL? 
STROUP: Why not? That's kind of an in- 
side joke around here, that after NORML. 
comes NORCL, the National Organiza- 
tion for the Reform of Cocaine Laws, 
Actually, I think it’s a legitimate issue, 
but at this point, the Government is so 
plight about cocaine that I think who- 
ever started NORCL would spend a 
significant part of the first five years in 
and out of jail. 
PLAYBOY: What about heroin? 
STROUP: I've never tried it. Гус never 
even seen any. Once people become 
strung out on heroin, they are caught in 
a miserable situation. It’s a medical prob- 
lem. They need help, not punishment. 
Nonetheless, it’s not a culture I can in 
у way identify with. 
PLAYBOY: What about LSD? 
STROUP: Three or lour years ago. some 
friends and I experimented with halluci- 
nogens, and I have a great deal of respect 
for the posi ide of the whole hallu 
nogenic family—LSD, MDA, psilocybin 
and the others. 
PLAYBOY: What 


ld about 


the positive side? 


STROUP: I found myself, like most people 
who 


p, thrown into a sense of cosmic 
enes, of wanting answers to ques- 
ions about life. Everyday things seemed 
trivial—I felt like I wanted to spend a 
few years up on a mountain, thinking 
about things. It was much like a religious 
experience. There were the same kinds of 
questions vou don't have the answers for. 
It was frightening the first time, but I 
came to enjoy it as an intellectual pursuit. 
PLAYBOY: Thats the good news; what's 
the bad news? 

STROUP: Well, you have to be willing to 


154 simply drop out of touch for 12 hours or 


so, which isn't practical on a day-to-day 
basis. And you need a day or two after- 
ward before you're really ready to do а 
work, I think the ger with hallu- 
cinogens is juven ig them, in a 
black-m: ation, whose minds "t 
mature enough to handle them. It can 


re 


be a frightening, dangerous experience— 
especially if the їшї is adulterated. 
PLAYBOY: Whars your feeling about 


uppers? 

STROUP: I don't like them. As I said, we 
used uppers—amphetamines—to help us 
study in college. Kids today use them for 
but from 


the a th 


nse of euph 


y 8 


very negat 
s seem to go through neg; 
personality d and become very 


hostile to people 
PLAYBOY: What about downers? 

STROUP: 1 don't like the effect of the e 
The downer high, whether it's from bar- 
biturates ог soapi udes or 
whatever, is very similar to the one you 
get from alcohol. It makes you sloppy 
physically. You run into doors—the kids 
call them wall bangers. Downers, whether 


“The bastards killed Bobbie 
Arnstein, just as surely as 
if they'd shot her, because 

some publicity-hungry 
narcs wanted to make a case 
against Hefner.” 


pills or alcohol or even heroi 
ferred by people who w 
reality, to be out of touch. Th 
portant distinction. И you want 10 escape 
some pain or some problem, you don't 
take marijuana, because it makes you 
more in touch, more sensitive. Downers 
make you feel good in the sense that you 
don't feel at all. 

PLAYBOY: A lot of people use them with 
sex, don’t they? 

STROUP: Yes, but to me, that's the worst 
Kind of sex, the kind we used to have 
when we were drunk. You know, the col- 
lege boy who had to get di before he 
had the nerve to make his move and the 
woman who had to be drunk before she'd 
get into bed, and by the time you got in 
bed, neither of you could feel a thing. 
You could have a three-hour sex bout 
and not remember a thing the next morn- 
ing. So 1 sce downers as drugs taken by 
people who w ape, and I see 
that as basically destructive. 

PLAYBOY: Are there drugs that you think 
do enhance sex! 


PLAYBOY: Would you clarify how you feel 


about the lcgaliza of the various 
drugs other than marijuana? 


STROUP: 1 think all drug use should be 
other 


decriminalized. In words 
shouldn't put people for using any 
drug. The question is, do you keep crim 
inal penalties for the sale of the vari 
drugs or do 
regulate their 
PLAYBOY: How do you answer that? 
STROUP: At the onc extreme, 1 think that 
mar is substantially harmless and 
should be legalized. At the other extreme, 
IL think heroin is dangerous and addictive 
and should not be legalized. In between 
those extremes, there are a lot of drugs, 
like cocaii nd hallucinogens, that I'm 
really not sure about. І do think we 
yet know cnough about their effects to 
legalize their sale. But, I rep Т don't 
think people should be jailed for usi 
them. 

PLAYBOY: What about alcohol 
STROUP: 1 wuly think this country would 
be better off if the 100.000.000 people 
who currently drink alcohol would try 


n your strong distaste for 
alcohol, would you like to sce more laws 


strour: No, not really. More than six 
years with NORML have given me à 
strong sense of libertarianism. But I think 
people should be educated 10 the prob- 
lems of alcohol. 
PLAYBOY: You're an admitted drug user 
and you've been an outspoken critic of 
the Government's drug policies. Why do 
you think the authoritics—presumably, 
the Bureau of Narcotics undercover 
agents—have never tried to bust you 
STROUP: Perhaps I should say, l 
{essed to all this drug use, 0 
drugs I use these ijuana and 
a tittle ted to bust 
me, it'd only be for possession of a small 
amount of marij nd it would obvi 
ously be for p it 
they've ever considered that, they've de- 
led it might Баск 
Bur you пре 
experience recently. 1 had gotten to know 
a toplevel narcotics agent when we both 
testified —on opposite sides—hefore the 
Maryland legislature. He invited me to 
speak before a seminar of Washington- 
area narcotics agents. So | addressed a 
couple of hundred undercover. narcotics 
agents—young, mostly white and mal 
with longer hair than mine—and I'd 
never encountered. such hostility before. 
After T said 1 smoked grass, one of them 
said, "By the way, Mr. Stroup, I didn't 
get your address," and another one stood 
up behind me and started. frisking me— 
that was their idea of humor, to joke 
about busting mc. When one of them 
asked why I didn't turn in people who 
sold me drugs, and I said that wasn't my 


g con- 
the only 


job. that I wasn't a police agent, they 
started booing me. The whole thing 
freaked me out. 

PLAYBOY: Го have а n 
d games, but you were 
encounter with the Burca 
us. Wi 


rc frisk you is fun 
volved in one 
of. Narcotics 
re thinking of 


the trial of Bobbie Arnstein and her 
suicide. Would you summarie what 
happened? 


STROUP: Yes. Bobbie was a close friend of 
mine, and we used to talk on the phone 
most daily. D had to watch while the 

, put the screws to her 


essentially, she was а hard-workit 
professional woman, and she certainly 
never dealt any drugs, In fact. she had 
n been arrested Тог anything. Her 
trouble began when she was going out 
with a guy who was a street dealer. She 
took a wip to Florida with him when 
he brought back some cocaine. And whe 
he got caught, the Drug Enforcement 
Admin backed by U. S. Attorney 
James Thompson, decided to bring Bol 
bie to trial along with him. She denied 
knowing anything about the drug deal 
Florida. but they made a deal with the 
id she 
ried the. pac ine back to 
Chicago. Normally. you don't try а deal- 
with hi: 


ver 


bitious pros 
chance to get some publicity 
build some kind of cise 
ust Hefner. So they wied her aud 
convicted her on perjured testimony. She 
way provisionally sentenced to 15 years i 
Ви all the while, they weren't 
Bobbie, they were just tying 10 
deal with her. They were sayi 
the Man 
n, tell us about Helner, and we'll let 
you oll." They thought she'd. implicite 
Hefner before she'd go to prison. But 
Bobbie knew Hefner wasn't involved a 
all, and so she chose an alternative. She 
killed herself. After that. the DEA closed 
the whole investiga ош 
it had found no evidence of 
drug use in the Playboy Mansion. But 
the point is that the bastards killed her, 
just as surely as if they'd shot her. because 
some publicity hungry narc w 

make a case against Hefner. Bo 
^D stand the pressure, so she 
ay ош she could find. 

t have been your deali 


cutoi 
ud 
ag; 


aw 
maybe 


pri 
Iter 
make 


“Tell us about 


drug use 


with Hefner? 


STROUP: I've gotten to know him social- 
ly—Bobbie was really the person. who 
Drought me in contact with him. I see 
ally and I try to keep him 


briefed on what NORML is doing. The 
ройи 1 would make about Helner is ас I 
think he deserves a lot of credit. In the 
Fifties and Sixties, he led the 
the censorship laws, and in the Seventic 
he's led the fight against the drug laws. 
And, as Bobbie Arustcin's case suggests, 
he hasn't done it with impunity. He's ta 
en some heat. because he's stood up for 
what he believes in. 
PLAYBOY: Despite NORML political suc 
cesses, you've had serious financial prob- 
lems. haven't you? 

STROUP: Yes. funding for NORML has 
lways been a. problem. We continue to 
raise more money cach year, but o 
ams also grow. Altogether, we 
spend around $300,000 a y 
PLAYBOY: What 
sources of incoi 
STROUP: During 1975, in round. 
we took 
and coi 


r pro 
e and 


been your main 


паре, 
n 5130.000 [rom memberships 
ions, 570,000 from the sale of 


550.000. from the Playboy Foundation 


$20,000 from High Times and $20.000 
from lecture fees. 
own [ut 


1 don't really know. I think that 
three years, the 
minalization will be set 
will become what. 


issue of 


within two or 


develop. Т hope NORML will continue 
t0 exist and be involved in that issue, and 
perhaps P will be, but 1 have ser 
doubts that D want to stay through t 
phase of it. I think Га like to write and 
1 working on some other 
est project, one that has noth 
do with drugs. 1 also want to spend 
with my eight-year-old daugl 


ingt 
more 


еу 
You must 
aged. sometime: 
obstacles you've encountered 
ncial problems. 
Yeah; my х 

и out ol 


have been discour- 


nd with 


ry is 513.500, Гап 
that and Гус 


paying child s 
heen living for 


publicinterest law expecting to make 
much money. And being broke does 
necessarily mean you're a failure, I i 
irs been worth it, because Гуе had the 
chance to do such creative, stimulating 
work. I was very lucky t stumble onto 
the idea of NORML at the time I did 

Гуе been able to play а part i 
end of an er ion. 
1 change, and those « 


the 


of prohi 


lucky to n able t0 | 
Thad been a few years older or 
years younger, there might not have bee 
such a [asc ound. 


a few 


“But crime is only a hobby. I don't expect it to pay.” 


155 


PLAYBOY 


156 


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RAQUEL WELCH 


(continued from page 71) 


the ground; the pages are caught in 
the breeze and the picture of Raquel, 
resplendent in her leather sexuality, 


disappears. 
The cop clears the way and R: 
two friends walk quickly 


quel and 
to the 


At the edge of the sidewalk, the red 
haired lady with the galoshes is standing 


w. She holds her h 

front of her fervently. H 

come enormous; she seems 
"Got a live one, right, lady 

10 her, 

t was Raquel, 


nds clasped in 
г eyes have be 
sed 

" Ace says 


the lady says in a 


fi voice. "1t was Raquel 

“We knew you were coming, doll," 
Ace says cheerfully. "We set it up 
special.” 


The lady turns and looks at the two 
television men. 

"She's so... so. ч: з 
helplessly, Words fail her 

“Yeah, 1 know what you mean,” Irving 
s. "I always say actresses are a dime a 
dozen, but a great pair of boobs is a joy 
forever, 

He puts his ати 
lady's shoulders 
warm camaraderi, 
“Thavs what 1 always say,” he tells 
“What do you always say, lad 

E 

‘The hallway is filled with people. A 
half-dozen girls in elaborate costumes 
come breezing down the stairway, their 
high heels clicking on the concrete steps. 
A young man with thinning hair and a 
scarf around his neck meets th t the 
bottom. 

“You 
ber?" he asks. 

Nobody answers him. 

The man refers to а clipb 
hand. 

We'll need you back upst: 
minutes,” he says. "Make th 
and sweetheart,” he adds, rapp 
rls lightly on the arm, * 
are on Crooked.” 

The man hurries up the steps, looking 
at his watch. 

The girl with 
looks after the mi 
stare, She minces 
companions. 

“Shove 
she hisses. 

Raquel and the two people with her 


dy gestures 


round the red-haired 
nd smiles at her with 


he: 


m 


the Lauren Bacall nun 


d in his 


in twenty 
fifteen. Oh, 
g one of 
jour feathers 


the crooked fe 
n with a homicidal 
is walk for her 


hers 


up your ass, Tinker Bell,” 


come through a doorway and into the 
corridor. The people crowding the hall 
pay no attention to her. There are long 


t the telephones and the soft-drink 

machines. A loud speaker is broadcasting 

the rehearsal that is going on upstairs. 
“Two security guards standing with their 


backs to a wall watch her walk past. One 
of the guards looks at the other and 
winks; he holds his hands cupped in 
front of his chest, as if he is grappling 
with two oversize 
“Shit,” п telis him. 
Upstairs, the cemer aisle has be 
dered impassable with cables and equip 
ment. There are people scattered. about 
in the seats, talking, sleep! 
cigarettes in casual defiance of the si 
there are people roaming the side aisles, 
in groups and alone; there is quite a bit 
of shouting going on around the s 
area. For all the acti 
of cohesive actio 
At one side of the enormous si 
bearded man with a headset is tyi 
pull the rehearsal together 
“Could we have Jack Valenti up here, 
please?” he says. He shades 1 
his hand and searches the pe 
the lights. 
"We have to move quickly | 
people,” he says in а small shout 
Raquel stands just inside the doorway 
and looks about her uncertainly. There 
tall man im а green sports jacket 
g into a telephone. 
1 go home 
he says into the 
receiver, “that’s when they can go home! 
There is a brief pause as the man 
listens 10 the nd; his face colors 
slightly and the veins on his ta 
become prominent. 
Don't tell me about the uni 
says menacingly. “The union can suck 
my dick.” 
The man slams the telephone down 
if his jon is to destroy it. He looks 
з Raquel standing quietly in 


pefruits. 


ig to 


s eyes with 


of 


meter 


Well, now!" he says, bre: toa 
arge smile. "Glad you're here! Great 
you're here! Just take a seat—anywhere— 
be comfortable. Get with you in 

Raquel walks to one of the rows of 


seats down front and moves into the 
middle. 
She Jeans forward and looks back in 


the direction of the man with the green 
sports jacket. 

‘The man has Sammy 
beside 1 
deal of an d ihe man h 
ged his face into a configuration of 
veness. Davis p 
s he speaks, then swings his h 
around toward the sti Fhe man 
looks at the stage, as if there has been an 
apparition, then spreads his hands apart 
amd shakes his head sadly from side to 
side. Davis stares at the man for a mo- 
1, then throws his arms up in the a 
and walks away. The n 
sporis jacket watches 
ture of concern and rel 

As Davis moves off to find a seat, he 
spots Raquel and gives her the wave of a 
g toa plane. 


. standing 
h a great 


s ar- 


his w 


"Look who's here!" he calls out over 
several rows. 

Raquel laughs and returns the wave. 
Davis makes his way over to her with a 
great display of enthusiasm. 

“Just look who's here," he says again; 
he bends over to Kiss Raquel on the 
check. "Come down here to do nothin’ 
with the rest of the folks? We thought 
you were lost or something." 

“h was the traffic. 


Raquel says. She 
removes her scarf and shakes her hair 
The freeway was unbelievable. 

"IUS the rain,” Davis says. "Weird time 
for it to start rainin 

“L don't know." Raquel says to him, 
"if you've met my secretary, Mary Bre 
dan..." She gestures to the woman 
next to her. 


loose, 


7 Davis sa 
friend of mine from Lon- 
don, Terry O'Neill," Raquel cont 
Davis spins around to take the 
man's hand, 
“Hello, Terry,” he says. He looks at 
Raquel. “They rhyme.” 
“Hah... yes, well. 


" Terry says. He 


r-one acc photog- 
apher in the world," Raquel tells Davis. 
Bit of an overstarement, actually," 
Terry says. 
"Not at 


IL" Raquel says, waving this 
away. She cases out of her raincoat and 
glances up at the маре. 

“L know I'm dreadfully late,” she says. 
“I was supposed to be here forty-five 
minutes аро, but that damn freeway— 
unbelievable.” 

"Haven't missed notl 
“Меи 
to run through my medie 
y bur alone, if you see what Tm 


o miss. Гус been w: 


always necessary to do things 
^ Raquel says, “I have no idea.” 
. Davis says. “that’s showbiz, 
baby.” He lifts himself up onto the toes 
termed. platform. shoes 
nd tries to catch the eye of the bearded 
the headset. 

Чу for me?” he calls out loudly. 
He points with his iudex finger to the top 
of his head. so that there is 
а large supply of jewelry rattles around. 
like kitchenware on his wrist. 

The bearded man onstage is support- 
ing his forehead with the palm ol his 
hand, like an illusionist summoning up a 
card trick. A gigantic replica of the Oscar 
him like an enormous 


statue looms ove 

phallus. 
“Сагъ head is flying half fare," Davis 

jerking his thumb in the bearded 

man's direction. He takes a seat next to 

ucl. 

Is it always this. ah, disorganized 


ge, the girls in the feathered cos- 
tumes have arrived for their dance num- 
ber, A man with a stop watch hanging 


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quel says, "this dis- 


н 
e vit his hi hips. He stamps his 
foot loudly boards. 

m “Ther * he calls out 
= EE “One, two, three, four, five. 
A are supposed to be six girls herc. 
з 

а 


Once," Davis says, “а couple of years 
yo, they had it all pulled together real 
tight, People showed up and didn't recog- 
е where they were, so they had to cut 
it out. 

“L think it’s gra 


nd fun," the secretary 


you're not a perform- 

Raquel say 
men to that," Davis says. 

“I just hope they give me somethi 
funny to say," Raquel says, “They never 
give me any funny lines. They just have 
me read all those dreadful names.” 

“Yeah,” Davis says. “They got some 
funky folks on those lists." 

"I can't decide,” Raquel says, “whether 
I should wear my gla ses or not. ГИ sce 
better, of cou 
She takes off her glasses and holds them 
front of her at arm's length. 

But then, on the other hand, ГИ look 
like a person wearing glasses." 

"Well, don't misunderstand me," Davis 
says, “and it ain't none of my business, 
but 1 don't think anybody's gonr 
aly noticing the gla 
what I mewn.” 

“I think you look lovely in glasses 
Mary says to. Raquel. “I honestly think 
th. 


ou look а bit intellect 
do," Terry tells her. 

"God forbid,” Raquel says. 
tellectual sex symbol," 
could become the 


“AN 


Teny 


mbol stuff with 
“You know I 


of a joke,” Terry says. 
an't disappoint the public. 
Davis says. “People might never 
Did they get you outside the doc 
Raquel nods wearily. 
Some crazy acts out therc,” D: 
n the rain aud everything. De 
Jack. 
"E don't 


baby 


recov 


is says. 
ion, 


mind iL" Raquel says, “I 


really don't mind it most of the time. But 
sometimes people can be зо... strange.” 
There was one bloke outside,” Terry 


says. “positively off his tun 
We were coming in,” Raquel sa 
“and this little man just came out of no- 
where and he just stared at me." 
Davis laughs as if Raquel has told him 
joke. 
1 mean, really . . ." Raquel says. 
“Well,” Davis says, “that’s what comes 
with the job. Thats what they mean 
when they say it comes with the job. 
158 "hats what they're talking about.” 


“Yes,” Raquel says. "I know.” 
"When you walk out of your house, 


n the mor Davis says; he 
back and puts his shoe on the scat 
front of him, “you gota put оп your 


gonna be lookin’, 
But that ain't the 


they мор lookin’. . 
entlemen, your attention, 


right? You know it 
killer. It's whe 
Ladies and g 
please,” the loud 
need Susan George onstage 
we have Miss George н here, pls 


speaker announces. "We 
. Could 


пазе) 
nd every 
He gets 10 his fect and smoothes the 
seat of his trousers with the palms of his 
hands. 
“Gotta go see what's what,” he say: 
lean up a few acts. Nice meeting you, 
aks at Raquel. “Be cool." 
Mary says as Davis 


t my dinnertime 


says. She yawns a ^ij 
I know what it’s going to be. I 
know there aren't going to be any f 
-1 know that. 


Susan George is saying 
c. She squints into the dis 
“No, sorry,” she says. "Can't read them 
from here.” 

“I'm going to ме, 
says. “The hell with 
bad enough as it is w 
over the frigging cards. 

"Not to worry. Nobody listens to the 
petty names. Feel free to improvise, if 


my 2” Raquel 
g to be 


mbling 


I's go 
hout su 


his 60s 
le. He offers 


eruditelooking n 
ed at R: 


he an- 


And it is my singular pl 
you that yoi 
Shortly. In 


е to inform 
г services will be required 
that nic 


isn't iz" he 
kes a roll of peppermint Life 
out of his pocket and pops onc 


imo his тюш гу, really. 
Life Saver?" he says, extending the pack 
to Raquel. 


" k you,” Raquel says. She 
looks at the back of her hands for a mo- 
ment. "Did I understand from what you 
said that you, ah, wrote tl 


asks. 


“That is correct," 
want to call it writing. 
Thousands wouldn't. More a matter of 
sheer will than writing, More a matter of 
money than anything сіе, if the truth 
һе known. 

"Do I have any good lines" Raquel 
says. "A joke or something, you know, 
some little funny something. 
Nothing,” the man says, without hesi- 
n. "Not a one. But then, it's not the 
sort of thing that really matters, is it? It 
just goes out over the airwaves and dis- 


appears, Just goes away. Like а рах 
storm.” aver with 
teeth. ^ 

"I'm not ib" Raquel 


ys. 
“This,” the man says, pointing around 
m. “It doesn’t matter" He looks at 
Raquel closely. “You know what 1 mean 
by matter, don't you? A play, for exam- 
. That matters. A book maucrs, These 

things with thought. For thinkin 
people." He taps his temple with 
index finger. “But this! This is a collec- 
tion of adjectives, is all it is. Stupendous, 
marvelous, delightful, incredible... 7 He 


ference does it make 
Raquel says stowly. 
ag about the Academy 
ame that is what you're tall 
recisely,” s 
“Well, 1 think this all serves a very 
at function to the motion-picture 
" she says. “I think it generates 
movies with the public. I think 


interest 
it does th 
“And that matt 
ises his eyebrows in 


the man says. He 


he says, absorbing this. “Why is 


that 

“Why? Wh 
why,” Raquel says. 
want people to go to Wie movies.” 


ies, do 


"Of course | do," Raquel 
everybody here? 1 mean . . . isn't that 
what this is all about? 


“Publicity,” the man says in a con- 
fidential tone. He gives Raquel a know- 
ing look. “That's wl all this i: 


5 
He rests his hand on her a “What Fm. 
asking is, do you feel that people going 
to the movics is worth wi Are we 
complishing anything by what we do?” 
Raquel leans away and studies the man 
Tor several moments. Her row 


somewhat and her mouth t nly. 
"Look," she says, “I just make my liv- 
ing doing what 1 know how to do. And I 


want to keep on nd 
that’s 
probably why ever body: s heri 


working actress, that’s all. I don't think 


my living 


PLAYBOY 


160 


about it philosophically.” She sighs and 
rubs her 
just... do 

“Yes,” the m 
suspected th 
what the movies were all about. Perhaps 
so. hmmm? Ah!" He raises his hand to 
his у aware of 
the 

“They're calling your n 
10 Raquel 

Wonderful," Raquel says. She stands 
and stretches her arms out [rom her sides. 
She rubs her fingers trough her huir, 
brushing it backward. She dabs with her 
hand at the sides of her nose. 

Would you like a mirror?” her secre- 
tary asks her. 
is a rehearsal, M 
ner for twelve.” 
sweater and moves 
out of the row. In the aisle, two men arc 
arguing about the chances of the. Rams? 
quiring Joe Namath, Overhead, a bank 
of lights goes unexpectedly dark and one 
corner of the theater turns black. 

“AIL right.” somcone yells, "who's fuck- 
und with the goddamn board?" 

Raquel hurries down the aisle and 
starts up the steps to the stage. As she 
reaches the last step, her foot catches on 
one of the thin cables that crisscross the 


€ often 
hout philosophy was 


he says 


ry" Raquel 


like ivy roots. Her glasses slip from 
her head and drop to the floor. As she 
stoops to recover them, she sees that one 
of the lenses has popped free. She holds 
the broken spectacles in her band as if 
Iling a wounded sparrow. 

nd dressed in a sweater as 


she were єт: 
А маде 
orange as the sunset on the ocean gives 


her a sympathetic look. ^ 

“Сап I get you anything?" he asks. 

I up atthe stage and out 
at the theater. She turns back to the man 
nd shakes her head. 
u wouldn't know where to be 
she tells him. 


juel lool 


A maibthin young man with closely 


cropped standing by the door of 
the resturant. He is wearing а straw. 
bery-colored Western shirt with 


qu 
taps а yellow pencil ag 


ed cowboy stitched on the back. He 


ast his teeth and 


stares without interest through the open 
doorway and beyond to the trafic on 
Santa Monica Boulevard 

А waitress on her way by makes a toy 
gun out of her hand and presses it into 
the young man’s back. 

“OK, Тех 


she purs, "let's see your 


doesn't take his су 


“What d'ya mean you never heard 
such dirty talk? Don’t you ever go to 
the theater, movies, read books?” 


away from the street. He twirls his pencil 
rellectively. 
“Don't fuck with me, Margot,” he tells 


the girl. 

“Not me, lover,” Margot 
pokes the young man with her 

“Did you sce who we've got i 
she asks him. 
The young man tur 
he is a masterpiece of enmu 
I've been at the door all even 
J" he says. “I know who's here 
ot says. “Well, I guess sex 
symbols just don't do anythin 


for you, 


wht, cowboy?" She pats him on the 
cheek and begins t0 walk away. "You 
ва б she says 


her shoulde 
Margot glides 
Raquel, 
of the тооп 


g merrily 
g at a table at the 
rubs the stem ol her w 


ack 


ne- 


she says, “and 1 can tell 
re people in this town 
anywhere else.” 

Terry says "What 


you that there 
who you don't se 
105 the movies, 


the movi 
“Bur there's somethin; 
about this place. 1 think may 
меме 
ceps people warm, it docs,” 

Keeps them out in the open. 

"Well, you do мау warm. Which, be- 
lieve me, is a plus if you happen to 
be... without resources.” She glances 
around the restaura This 
« for people without resources. 
"I see,” Terry says. “Broke, you m 
Yes,” Raquel says. "You can live on 
here. Of course, when 1 was here 
1 thought all the good thing 
ng somewhere else. New York, 
avs where 1 thought everything w 
And that’ 
have һай my head 
two kids and not 
bur 1 м: 
She smiles at hersell. "Good old Rocky, 
she says. 
nd you got how 

“Texas,” Raquel says 
you've already heard th 
gone senile. I was j ? 
"Sorry," he says. “Just a bit of Greek 
chorus, is all.” 

“You are really quite 
Ferry,” Raquel says. 
She picks up a menu lying on the 
d begins to study it. 
“Do you think you would 1 
better off?" "Ferry 
moment. 

“Better off?” Raquel says. “Wh 
you talking about? 

“Had you gone on to New Yor 
theatrical thin Somew 
ical question, actually, considering 
od, по," Raquel says. She tl 
menu over and looks at the desserts, “IL 


it's 


Raquel хаух 
more, something 
it’s the 


Terry 


town ds 


where I went, which I should. 
d 


mined for. | 
penny, you realiz 


s olf to New York to be a star. 


"Terry says. 


“Terry, 1 know 


imposible, 


ble 


ve been 


to her after 


t аге 


Done 


I'd gone to New York, I would have died. 
I would have literally died. T 
that when I got to Texas. І could f. 
weather changing one night and I kı 
the farther East 1 went, the colder it was 
going to get, until finally l'd get to New 
York, where I'd freeze to death. 

She folds her menu and puts it down. 

“It was winter, you see,” she says. 

"Yes." Terry says. 

“Well,” she says, "I decided t 
prepared to starve, but 1 was sui 
not going to freeze. 

Raquel picks up her glass 
ladylike sip of wine. 

“IE what you want to do is survive,” she 
says. “then you should do it where the 
sun is shining and the weather is warm." 

nk to that,” Terry He 
glass in what could be con- 
to the restaurant at large. 
I the survivors gathered here. 
Just one big lifeboat, it is 

“To all the refuge 
“from all the sinking ship 
ay none of them be us, 
solemnly. 

As they celebrate this concept, a waiter 

п a striped T-shirt and а bluedenim 
pron approaches the table. He reaches 
for a pad and pencil and smiles con. 
genially at everyone present. 

“Hello, my name is Dave,” he says. 
“I'm your waiter for this evening” 

"Bloody marvelous" Terry says. "Ev- 
erybody ready here? Ladies first, I imag- 
ine. Rocky?” 
7h." Raquel says, “yes, well, let me 
I'm not quite..." 

She picks up her menu and looks at it 
intently. Dave holds his pencil poised 
above his pad. 

“What... ah. 
Raquel runs her fir 


at 1 was 
as hell 


d takes 


Raquel says, 


" Terry says 


se 


- ohhhhjesu: 
г over the menu, 


ything Goes Sala 
ly. “What would th 
“Well.” Dave si 


garbanzo beans, 
rots, hearts of palm, mi 
сафо. tomato, water chestr 
pine nuts. dande Бр 
andio en pepper, cheese—— 

“Ah,” Raquel says. 

“And a dollop of yoghurt,” Dave says. 
pose your flavor." 
Raquel says. “I'm sure you do. 
But I think ТЇЇ just have fish." She con- 
sults her menu VH have the 
bow trout, please. 

“On the d 
just 
n a plate.” 

“You get soup with that," Dave says. 
"You have cream of mushroom, clim 
chowder, split pea——7 

“Just fish, quel says. “That’s all. 

“Just fish.” Dave says. He writes the 
order down. “OK, then, anybody else on 
a dict here? 


" Dave says. 
h,” Raquel says. 


ist fish, 


“My husband doesn’t suspect a thing, either. He thinks 
I'm having an affair with his best friend.” 


“ГИ have the same thing,” Mary says. 
“LH have the fish as well." 

“Two fish," Dave ж: 
fish. Will it be three fish?” 
Td like a cheeseburger 
nage one," Terry s 
‘Nothing to it,” Dav 
burger platter- 

“But with cheese,” Ter 

“But with cheese,” ve says. "OK, I 
guess thar takes care ol that. Food will be 
here shortly. Enjoy yourselves." 

He casually picks up the three menus, 


- "I have two 


. df you can 


says. "One ham- 


tucks them under his arm and departs. 
“My goodness" Mary зау, alter the 
iter i зп he the odd one? 
actor" Raquel say: 


t seems that everyone is 

show It gets quite tiresome, 

really, il you want to know the truth, 

Bloke's probably the hit of the 

en,” Terry s 
“Without a doubt,” 
resome. 


for her with gendemauly dispatch. 

“Or am I not supposed to do that 
asks, snapping the lighter shut. 
ither way," Raquel says “As it hap- 
pens, I don't have a mate 


She leans back in her chair and smokes 
rette. She closes her eyes. 
So he’s got them fucked," а man at 
another table is saying in a rising voice, 
nd he makes the deal, they give him 
the deal, they let him direct the picture. 
The thing is, he doesn’t know dildo about 
directing. Нез down in Florida forever, 
they're losing money on а minute-to-mi 
ute basis, they finally wrap it up, bring 
back, they look at the film and they 
absolutely shit their pants. Absolutely 
shit their pants” 
“You're right, Terr 
opening her eyes “The movies have 
made this town as comical as itis. There's 
no other excuse for some of these people.” 


lu 


He unwraps a packet ol 
pops one of the crackers into his mouth. 
“They exist, somehow, almost exclusively 
on the symbolic level, don't they? Greed, 
passion, treachery. fear." 


try. "Dostoievsky should 
Hollywood." 


"It would have depressed him," Raquel 
says 
“Hah,” Terry says. "Yes, well. People 


suit their environment, Rocky. If you go 


161 


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you see Parisians, Can't help it, another's honor . . . I cam! seem to She shakes her head from side to side. 
me thing here. You come to — remember who." She stops and taps her “You're absolutely Victorian in that 
Beverly Hills and people are talking — forehead in an attempt at recollection. 
deals. Movie deals, Is an entertainment, — "Well she says after a moment, “I "No, come on, now,” Te 


ays. He 


in its way. Gives the town some j; guess it couldnt have been anybody very raises his hands, as if in surrender. 
You can carry anything too far," у. Henry Kiss Name me з who's acted. tyran- 
Raquel says. "The Hollywood mind-set the way i 


dores Excess. . he's important 
They adore themselves,” Terry says ing somewhat. 

itter-of-factly This is a marcissistic “Yes. but it wasn't 
town, luv. Beauty and pizzazz. Whose tits Raquel. says. “He was € 
ман firmer? and so forth. New York. on pauses long eno: 
the other hand, is a chauvinistic town, — be made. “Anyway,” she 


Магу says 


PLAYBOY 


Raquel looks at the table for several 
pariy, Mary," moments. 

ly there” She — "Marie Antoinette,” 
“Oh, now you're pick 


thousands,” he si 


says finally 
one case in 
1 shout. “and 


es on. 


Quite the other thing, ieling him about Washingion it wasn't even exploitive, 
“I see," Raquel says. ing there and how intense everybody poor dear, she just had such a hallucina- 


Like night and day." he says. seemed... you know... and he just tory outlook on life" 
“Well” she says, “I think when you're — smiled, this little secret sort of smile, and — “No,” she says firmly. 
ponopolized by one attitude, whatever ithe said very softl e people play for — "No?" he says. "What do vou me; 
is, it's a drag. You don't sce right after a keeps? " “No.” She points her finger at him. 


while. You're at the mercy of events. Ha!" Terry says, He laughs apprec ling it down. "Believe me, Terry, no. 
She exhales a final trail of smoke and tively. "He said that, did he Hit doesn't happen frequently, that’s 


emt im positions ol 
Us all. Women arc 
s vile and deplor 
апа unserupu- 


t her cigarette. "Hes n 
: s tow 


velous,” Raquel says “He — because women 
she says, has a sense of humor. Besides which, I power frequently. T 
rey of events. You have think hes one of the only people in — capable of being just 
Washington who know what the hell's able aud. tr 
going on in the world, Goverument— — lous—" 
sod help Ohhh,” Terry says, moan 
ruining my whole day, luv 
Don't you think I know what Fm 


cherou 


ag out of step with everybody else. The 
ast is the worst, because when you get to — she shakes her head. хау 
that, you just disappear. You're gone us, 1 suppos 

“Retire to the Continent,” Terry sys Raquel takes а 


ing. “You're 


спе and 


nher cig 


"Or Seattle or someplace, Raquel Terry extends his lighter. taking abou” Raquel says. She spreads 
says, “But ap Teast the people here keep “What we need.” she says, leaning to. her hands in a of candor 
smiling, no matter what. This would be a ward the lunc, "is some commiune: This is me, Terry, this is Rocky. Believe 

niserable place to live if it weren't a rule — Ferry turis. up his hands, indicuing me, there's nothing inherently moral 


ol Hollywood ctiquette that one must helplessness in a fickle world. pout being a woman.” She laughs sud- 
maintain a lighthearted humor even im — "C'est la vie,” he says. denly. "Terry. you are absolutely unreal. 
distress. New York is much worse, as far "C'est la bullshit" Raquel says Her You area gentleman to a fault. 


as rat goes. New York is outrageous. features are hazy with cigarette smoke, She throws him a kiss olf the tips of her 
Not only are people consumed by their “There is something not right with the — fingers. He bows his head iu return. 
own world... their own crazy world world. The Government is supposed to “Tell me something, Rocky, ry 
but they're so terribly serious about serve the people, but now all people * “What would you do if you had a 
well, Ghrist. expect from the Government is to be Wemendous amount of money to spend 
“L was in Washington Jast week,” she fucked over. Things аге not what they “НУ Way you wanted? Do myi za 
хауз. “At a White House dinner. Talk — should be.” ys ңа Treinen- 
about serious.” She rolls ly s nes 


How much," she s 


dous amountz 
“Oh .. . three million. dollars. 


eyes. "I 


ave,” Terry says, 


came away depressed beyond belief, it Raquel says, “I think fucking Four million. Doesn't matter. Whatever 
was so unbearably dull.” people over has become the па al s like excess to vou." 
“Dull at the White House, is it” ne. les alb you sec. God knows, Three million delli" 


s" Raquel says 
She pulls at her lower lip. "Jesus. ni 


y says. et down to it, that’s what the 


“The White House, Washington—the business is all about. fucking jt would depend on so many things... " 
whole thing.” Raquel says. “The people. — people over. People in the business cant "Well just. think" Terry mys "You 
They were beyond description, Ferry. Зо let it go at simply 1 involved with know, would you buy an airplane, for 


boring. 1 felt as if 1 couldw't catch my — their profession or рено 
breath properly.” their job, That's too ticky-tacky 

“They were all alike,” Mary says with — 00 get crazy 
consideration. “АП the same thing, it your sa 


beter in stance? A yacht? A fleet of yachts? Just 
You have — think of yourself.” 
bout it. You have to draw "Probably, Fd buy film properties.” 
y at the expense of somebody Raquel says. She thinks about this a mo- 
else. Somebody's got to drop dead so you Yes, that's what Га do.” 
cm breathe the ts “АН right, good," he says. "What else?” 
one point two million dollars for a. pic- What else? Well, I, Christ, 1. can't 
then you have to get one point even think . . . you know, three 
million. dollars. [ust that, dollars is 
Where's the commitment?” ОК, then, ten Terry says. 
“Tell you what its time for" Terry “It doesn't. bloody mater, Rocky. I'm 
“Time we had women runni just trying to find out how you would 
таКез a large circle with the thumb age. Break the chain of — dulge yourself, Come on, be a good gi 
index finger of both hands. “And these male. command, and so forth. T doit Well, I told you. Td buy properties. 
leaders," she says nk women would be as likely"—he — Isn't that what l'd do, Mary? 
w disquici Terry says. raises his eyebrows and smiles—"cor- Yes," Mary says nodding i 
"You know, rupted by power. How's that?” ment. "Thats what shed do, Ter 
night at the Bistro "Oh. Terry, really, you have such an Th bout.” 
that was being held in somebody or exalted idea of women Raquel si м —he looks about him with 


sir. HE so-and-so 


nd very gracious, but they 
© all so"—she searches for a word— 
"boring" she says finall 
Il. The Fords were nice, they se 
ve a Jile sense of humor abou 
whole thing, but the rest—zero, 


„ога с 


164 


Mores what? 


More of a cigarette. That’s More. It’s like any really good 
what. cigarette. And much more. 
With more of the good z 
things that so many cigarette 
smokers are going for: 


The long lean burnished M M 
brown look. ore or 
The smooth easy draw. MENTHOL 


The slow-burning smoke 
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= == s sietat аа av. per cigarette, FTC Report AUG. ‘76. 


165 


exasperation—“but how the bloody hell 
many film properties could you buy? I 
те say that's all taken. саге of. 


Lers jux pretend, pet, you know, like 
the movies 


is so incredibly boring, 
ing her hand to 


PLAYBOY 


No, wait, Ym thinking. I'm 
+ ight. . . let's see.” She 

. "OK." she says. I'd prob- 

ably set up trust funds for my kids, so 


it they'll be OK, but, well, now, there's 
You know, 


something 1 feel funny about. 
kids who h: 
ing for Фет... Т don't dig that that 
much. 1 don't think it’s the best thing in 
the world, but that would be one thing 
I'd do." 


е care of the kiddies,” Terry 
. What else: 
Whatever else seemed necessary at the 
Raquel says. "I suppose I'd buy a 
house for my parents, and maybe a flat 
for myself in Paris, or a place in . . 
don't know, Acapulco or some] 
I just don't know, Terry. The ide: 
lot of money isn't all that interesting to 
me. If 1 had а lot of money to spare, I'd 
direct it toward. my «тай. I know th: 
upsets you in some way, but that’s what's 
most important to me, to improve myself 
tress. If I can do that, then I'm 
t what money's supposed 


EE T 


happy. Isn't th 


to buy 
“Happiness? 


Terry He scratches 


his head. “Possibly. There are conflicting 
reports. How about you? Are you happy?" 
"Yes" Raquel says. She raises her 


hand, preparing to elaborate, then has 
terihought and lets her hand slide 
back onto the table like a kite losing 


“Yes,” she says 


you've really approved of? 
What's been the thing that you could 
look back at and say, “Тете... there I 
am, God love ше? 

Raquel. closes her eyes amd purses her 
lips. From somewhere in the restaurant, 
m rush of communal laughter. 
ГИ put it like this," she says at s 
sth. She opens her eyes and focuses « 
the edge of the table. “I think I J" 
honestly say that for the past couple of 
years, I've been happy with myself and 
with what I've done. 1 can look back at 


е 


that time see anything that 
would make 

She shifts seat and draws a 
breath; she appears u re of the 


1 of her voice 
hat's not bad, you know,” she says, 
тош want 


Terry watches he 

seems to hold the poten 
s nothing. 

I'm working at what I w 

166 nobody has thei 


tto do and 
foot on my neck. I don't 


y anymore. I'm not obsessed.” 

c better way,” Terry tells her. 
“Irs not bad," she says. "OK, and not 

bad. I don't have to tell you that it's been 


ever the 
ad done 
know what you 

"E don't want anybody's symp: 
Raquel says. "I d. 
that. Just let me be, let me do my 
There's nothing wrong with thai 

“Look, Rocky,” Terry says. 

“Jesus, what do people want, апу 
Raquel says suddenly. She discovers Ter- 
гүз hand resting on her own. “Its not 
my problem what they think about me. 
They think whatever they want. Why 
should 1 have to pay for that? You tell 
me why. You tell me why I should have 
to pay lor that.” 

“Do you believe that?" Terry says. 

“Believe it?” Raquel says. She 1 

dangerously. “Il tell you. What hap- 
pened to me two years ago, when 1 4 
that picture the bot- 
tom of the the gutter. 1 
told myself that 1 would never let myself 
be vulnerable to that sort of humi ion 
n. And that's when I found out how 
people think. 
You know what I'm talking about, Terry, 
this stood sexsymbol 
thing. That's for the magazines, the hell 
with that. This was ugly, hateful violence. 
There was this little ector who w 
going to show everybody that he was 
ting up the girl with big 
tits. You saw what I looked like: you took 
the pictures. 1 was going to sue the 
bastard." 
Every business has its sick Ferry 
says. "You said it yourself about the mo; 
ies: it’s not a delicate profession. Neurotic 
people calling themselves artists. Telling 
the world how sensitive th Bloody 
lot of crap. For most of them, thei 
isitivity doesn't go beyond the crotch. 
“Sick.” Raquel says. She spits out the 
word. “Spoiled children running around 
ing a movie. A lark, Everybody try- 
g 10 outdo one another. each one trying 
to be more on top than the next." 

“АП those stars, all those egos.” Terry 
says. "It couldn't have been any other 
way 

"It made me feel dirt 
for 


is," Terry says, “ 
h. Fuck whatever. You 


job. 


isn't misundi 


ide. 


bout what 1 do. 
s "MI 
. where's 


Raquel sa 
power plays, all this bullshit . 


these 


the justification for that? Je 
ісу just a jobs that’s all i 
а job. You go where you're told to go, 
you say the lines, you do your work, you 
cash your check and you go on to some- 
else. That doesn't make yo 


"but it docs. 
i uc and 
smokes it in silence for several moments. 


“In a way, it was funny,” she 
last. “After Га left and gone to Paris, I 
read the accounts in the papers, All 
pout temperamental Raquel. Isn't that 
joke 
"Let it go," Terry says to her quietly. 
"They said how unprofessional 1 was,” 
g him. "How I'd walked 
the middle of the pict 
Middle of the picture, my ass. That shit- 
т I was 
king to home—after wed fin- 
ished, mind you—and he told me that I 
couldn't go until he told me 1 could go. 
Until Ле told me, сап you believe it? 


ys at 


Well, I told him to go fuck himself, 
politely, and | picked up the bag and 
Started to leave. And that’s when he h 


те. And he kept c 
She makes her 1 


“He wouldn't have wied anyth 
t with anybody else on tha 
hell thong 

t me to 
t me to tell 


he'd do it to 


. He sure à 


Do you w 


Terry says. "I 


n telling 


Raquel says 
ing voice, "because of what 1 am. 
I'm Raquel, that's why. Because 
I'm like the s slept with every- 
body in town. so you don't have to bother 
with formalities when you take her ош. 
That's how you have to pay for wl 
people think of you 

She looks down at her hand, still 
She relaxes it slowly and spreads 
on the tablecloth. 

At a table across the way, there is a 
young man with a stylishly trimmed 
beard and tinted aviator sunglasses. He 
а tailored leather jacket over а 
faded denim work shirt. He slouches self- 
confidently in his cl rm draped 
over the back: a thin gold bracelet clings 
to his wrist, He st t Raquel 
and smiles with pl 

Raquel leans her h nd looks 
at the ceiling. She takes both of her h: 
and rubs them across her forehead and 
through her hair. As she str 
her seat, she sees the bearded m 
ing directly at her. For а moment, she is 
ht in his line of vision, like à deer in 
an automobiles headlights. The m 
smile widens with relaxed familiarit 
he says to her 


wea 


> onc 


G 


Raquel seems startled; she pulls her 


eyes away and brings her hands to the 
sides of her face. She does not look up. 
but she hi "s laughter as she 

the 


FURIA 
GN rh 


À, ү 
сал үй А j 00 31 


Кон 
беч Y 
ttot 
"0 Tur NUR TM, 
ats ventu CT GO Vg dui 
( CH Ay Centa а WT RATER АИА у 


“Goodbye, William. Whatever it is уоште 
looking for, I hope you find it.” 


168 


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PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


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For those who really like to pour it on when they hit the slopes, 
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get the strapless model shown here. Either is the only way to fly. 


HERE'S THE RUB 
as the snap, crackle 

4 рор gone out of your 
sex life? Then perhaps 
it's time you and your be- 
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workshops that a licensed 
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put you in the mood to cross-pollinate. 


TRUCKIN' WITH MINI MAC 
Somebody's already turned VW Bugs and Super Beetles into ersatz Rolls- 
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Lazy lovers may wish to order Bedroom Roulette, a battery-operated 
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169 


PLAYBOY 


170 


Book of Coasts .. m—— 


gocs below fifty. 
the land of Ella 
made dwellings of pink stucco and orna- 
mented them with уисса and plani 
and pools of water of a color not fo 
in nd so made a life, but the life 
was without form and void, and great was 
the vapidity thereof. 


мге 


n 
And the pure in heart cried ou 
ast, ye have no values." And the 


Coast replied, "We do so have values,” 
but they did not. And by and by, a grea 
many fled into the land of Шау: 10,000 
times ten, and times ten again, unto many 
millions, cach with a deal pending. And 
so the once virtuous sold themselves to 
work evil in the vineyards of the Coast, 
and inhaled into their body various pow- 
ders and substances which eased the guilt 
thereof, by dissolving the synapses. And 
Zabar, the prophet of the East, who 
exceeding wise, saw all this and 
“Scorn ye the Coast, for they are not 


subtle, mus coarse, and lack art, and are 
obvious in all things.” 

And the pu 
may we know the C 
of our flesh?" 

And the answer came, "Ye shall know 
them by their carrot tans, and the leisure 
suit of avocado, 

And the pure in heart asked, "How 
еке may we know them, for they are 
sprung from our loins? 

And the answer came, “Ye shall know 
them, that they fileth the bridge of their 
nose, to remove all character therefrom; 
nd taketh the name of their enemy for 
their own, and meth their child 
thus: ny, and Samantha, and Scan, 
and Bryan; whereas it should be Mo 

п or N; nd attacheth hair to 
1 which groweth from it not; 
keth with imprecision, saying, 
for mattery which lack weigh 


n heart asked, 
st, for the 


m 
And so it came to pass that the chil- 
dren of Ellay were merr ad became 
masters at play, and practitioners of all 
things ephemeral: the fleeting image, and 


“I won't be able to come to dinner 
tonight, Momma. My friend Al just dropped by 
with his best girl.” 


the false ly nd the riff of fuzz tone: 
the entertainment which entertaineth not. 
And they worshiped silver above me 
and equated facility with content 
they prospered, for their followers were 
legion. And the people of the land were 
falsely comforted, for their eyes knew not 
what they saw, nor their mouths tasted 
what they ate, and ir cars were filled 
with the laughter of the dead. 

And Eli of the East was troubled, 
saying, "Give us a sign that we та 
know ours is the way of truth 

And the Almighty spake unto Eli, 
ing. "See ye not how I revile the Coa 
That 1 maketh to quake the ve 
upon which their city is builded? And how 
1 cause them to be daily stoned? And I 
give ye four seasons yearly, and them b 
c. and not eat one, at that? And ате 
three hours ahead of them in all things, 
or now” 

“Wear LE 

“So refrain thy voice from whining,” 
ake the Almighty. 
fell to his knees, sa 
all of this is true. what Ye sp 
yet, while we pursue all tasks according 
to thy covenant, and forswear all 
food. and pie; and lead the good life; yet 
the children of Ellay, who keepeth not 
thy covenant, fear nothing, and dwell in 
great panoply, and acquire great wealth.” 

And the prophet Zabar appeared and 
mocked f the Coast have 
such great wealth, di п wherclore do they 
Меер three together in one bed? 

And E] sped 


is teeth 


and truth ever 


And Eli said, "Three in a be 

And Zabar said, "Yea, and all the com- 
binations thereof, which is three 
two, plus one, or se 

said Eli. 
IV 

And so Eli journeyed into the Valley of 
the Co. s Pasadena, west of 
Pomona, near Alhambra, by Monrovi 


уса, even into Hermosa Beach did he 
sojourn, and saw abominations which 
were marvelous strange: men with men, 
and women with men shorter than they, 
and a man married to shrubbery, and a 
dwelling shaped like bun. 
anointed his head with а 
and аро ted these th 
days. Aud on the fourth d 
about him, say 
and sent out for 
livered more 


; he looked 
My yoke is heavy," 
lighter yoke, which de- 
ns to the gallon. 
And so E id was there- 
after seen in the streets of Ellay, and in 
the broad places, wearing a suit of jump, 
which nent, and surpasseth 
all understanding, Aud he made covenant 
with an casy woman who gave succor, 


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eased him, for the womer. of the 
loath to give succor. And so Eli 
returned not to his home, nor checked 
his service for messages of urgency, of 
which there were none, anywa 


v 

And Zabar the prophet, hearing of this, 
arose, and had breakfast, and flew swiftly 
to ‚ where he was given a second 
breakfast. And he prophesied: “No good 
can come of consecutive breakfasts,” 

And so he sought out Eli, and took a 
mecing with him, following custom, and 
asked, “Wherefore hast thou forsaken thy 
values, that thou st in such a fashion, 
and hangest out with loons, and laughest 
loud at tl unamusing, and combest 
thine hair forward in such a manner? And 
appened to thy nose?” 

And Eli regarded him, and stood first 
upon one foot, and then upon the other, 
g finally, “Like, man, I rebuke ye.” 
And Zabar, hearing this, turned. the 
color of the setting sun, and cried. “Fool! 
Hast forgot thine instruction? Thou canst 
not rebuke, without first thou be buked. 
Only then can thou rebuke 
And a revelation came to Eli, and he 
said. “О ye who are uptight! He who 
picketh at a nit, findeth a nit, but groovi- 
ness payeth off manifold. 


nd Zabar, seeing that Eli lost, 
was possessed of a great rage, and 
pulled Eli's lips all the way out, even unto 


six cubits. And so Eli shook his head 
slowly, saying. "Oh, wow," and took olt 
his ornaments from his person: from his 
wrists, the bracelets of turquoise 
per and elephant hair; and from 
his neck, he took his beads of worry, and 
his squash. blossom, and his amulet of 
Cancer the Crab: all these did he remove. 
And he rolled up the sleeves of his r 
ment, and smote Zabar most terribly upon 
his breast, and upon his head. And. ar 
then smote Eli in the soft place. so that 
Eli bended and finally Eli 
smote Zabar i wise, so that the fat 
places were 
places smooth: 
the East in two cartons m: 
PROPHET—USE NO HOOKS. 

And so the East grew bitt ad such 
was the bitterness of their bitterness, that 
it was bitrerer even than gall or the juice 
of some lemons or sucking on a tea bag. 
And whatsoever did the Coast fashion 
in the way of amusement, did the East 
put down mightily out of bitterness, and 
this was called Critici: 

And the spirit of the Critic moved in 
the land, and turned. С 1, saying. 
“Woe unto him that maketh an enter- 
nd of Ellay, for surely 
receive an admonition, and be 
chastised.” 


way over; 
man 


‘hed, CONTENTS: 


VI 

And so it came to p 
flict arose between thi 
оп an entertain 


that a great con- 
n. And the East put 
t, which was two men 


“T heard that his parents write him for money.” 


garbage can, conversing, and the 
itic said, “Verily, it is Ar" And the 
Coast put on an entertainment, which 
was a man delivering a pie unto the 
countenance of a second таап, or ban 
and the Critic said, “Verily, it is junk. 
And the conflict grew mightier and 
mightier, and great was the destruction 
thereof, and the pain, and the sorrow, 
and message units uncountable. And the 
Almighty clapped His hands over His cars, 
sayin ly. 1 weary of 
your bick And the pure 
heart said, “Coasts? Art angry at us, too? 
The pure in heart? 

And the Almighty said, “Ye heardest. 

And the East were aggrieved, sayin 
"But we keep the covenant, and are not 


And the 
are not va 
it” 


swer came down, “Verily, ye 
‚ but it is vanity to mention 


And the East were sore troubled, for 
they knew He had them there. And they 
cried, “Then Ye see no difference between 
the coasts?’ 

And the Almighty replied, “This whole 
thing taketh up too much of my time.” 

And both coasts cried, "Almighty. 
where reside Ye, that Ye take not sides, 


s hath been 


one coast against the other, 
done since the beginning of tim: 

And the answer came down, “In Ne- 
braska, which is no coast. Verily, for it is 
written that while anyone may make an 
t, or keep the covenant, only 
n be found a corn, or 
ken of the air, which arc 


said, 
are they n 

And the Almighty ci 
en, for I shall make ye 

And a mighty thundering was heard, 
ness descended over the earth, 
| was laid 
d of Cleve; 
id in the West, the Coast did break off. 
the field of B and slip into the 
nd all was without form and void, 
ty saw that it was good, 
Behold, no more coasts. 

And where the coasts had been, was 
now writ in letters of fire, WATCH THIS 
SPACE FOR NEW ABOMINATION 

And thus endeth The Book of Coasts. 
(Coming soon: Nielsen, or: The Book of 
Numbers.) 

LY] 


171 


list. I'lI—I better tell you about it. I de- 

Mote] Tapes | ona from page 120) ppp pa 

‘ti is just ош a lot of possibilities, а lot of happy Ше world that I wanted most. You were 

lenis. there and a п Acapulco was there 

and a Brionvega sterco was there and a 
зу Сіпоёп- Маѕегакі was there— 

t, Nick, but 


than going to Chicago. And 1 
another short step. Its all a matter of 
steps. Step one, the decision to do it. Step NICHOL 
two, write it down on the 1 price you ра 
ime assi, а price for ev 
three, determine. feasibility 


My feeling is that we 
hing in this life. If wri 
things down on a list elin 


PLAYBOY 


thing that can be don our. make full ree of spon у. then so be it—it ries as: Someday. someday. I've ma 
mplishment of the goal. — seems a small enough price to pay. aged to get most of the things on the list. 
1 ward the goal with no ‘a The stereo was no problem. I got the 
hate Eames chair. 1 haven't quite manag 
undue delay. After that, it’s simply а тав NIG 2 1 think I should be honest Agen chair. 1 haven't quite managed 
2 : Acapulco 
ter of moving one foot after another. with you, There was a time I did put your PAEST 


MARY: where was Lon the list? 
масно: What do you mean by tha? 
wary: What was my priority? Where 
s Lon the list? 


nc down on a list. 
маку: I've gor this feeling I wouldnt wary: I thought ma 

be too good at making a list. I think wr 

it dowi hibit me. млну: I'm not sure E like that whole бл Vou ее Digi aD the, 00: 

NICHOLAS: How's that? notion. I'm not sure that isn't just а bit phe first word I wrote was Mary. I don't 

маку: Well, in a way, it’s limiting. You mechanical for my liking. know how you оша ask me à queuion 

out too carefully and you com- jonas: 1 don't think you'd be so Tike that. 
mit yourself; I think you may be cutting — annoyed if you saw the list. It was some 


be you had. 


EVERYTIING ALL RIGHT? 


xl. Do that, do it, 
oh, Jesus. Jesus, Jesus! Oh, God. Hold. 
hold! Oh. oh, God, ah, ah, ahhh! 
з, hubhhhbhh, obhhhhbh! Do 


à going to come. Oh, С 
I'm coming now, hold on to me. 
you, tight, tight! Oh, Fm com- 
ing now, now, coming now! GOD, JESUS, 
GOD, JESUS, NOI! 

E 
: Oh, hoi 


CONFESSIONS OF А MECHANICAL MAN 


ALI 


Did you like that? 

mostas: Sure. Why? 

мисе: You didn't say anything. You 
didn't say а word. I don't know, some 
times D get the feeling you don't even 
like it anymore 

mostas: 1 Like it just fine. 

ALICE: I just don't know. 

mosas: Hey, hon, what brings this 
I'm telling you, it felt just fine. Whar 
else do you want me to say? 

маск: I don’t know. But something. 
You used to say things to me. Now 1 ge 
the feeling that you think you're doing me 
айа 

mosas: 1 know what you mean, but 
it’s not your fault. 


гог. 


. 
‘tomas: You know, it’s probably just 
growing olde me I felt r 
good wasa long 1 was just th 
ing about 
out ol the / 
old Ford convertible throu 
] the car, 1 had me i 
а damn good job w 
п the States. For the t time in 
И б А my life, there was no place that I had to 

“If I may coin a phrase, love is too important be. E could have stopped for a week and 


172 to be left to husbands." stayed on the beach, 1 could have turned 


my pocket, 
ng for me 


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173 


PLAYBOY 


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around and gone back to Paris. I had the 
top down and the sun was unbelievable. I 
was listening to the Voice of America and 
1 was singing along at the top of my voice. 
The people the road were turning 
to look at me—you know, the crazy 
American—but for once in my life, it 
didn't mauer what anyone else thought. 
It was such a good moment in my life that 
1 kept telling myself to remember it, to 
remember how good everything was, to re- 
member once in my life how it felt to be 
really happy. And I still do remember it. 
1 was driving along this beautiful coun- 
tryside—there was а town called Mur 
and 1 stopped at some whitewashed café 
and had а bottle of the local wine, ‘The 
e had an almost smoky edge to it, 
the wine of Murzia, and if I ever again 
see wine from that region, I'll buy a case 
of it. ГИ tell you something—at that mo- 
ment, I felt so good that nothing in life 
has ever bee 
ALICE: 1 know what you mean. Some- 
times E can. ger turned on that way, too. 
Sometimes when I'm listening to the radio 
id the music seems so special —— 
Tuomas: This was different. It wasn’ 
you couldn't call it a turn-on, I've felt 
good that other way, too. With music, 
with sex—but that’s just a few seconds, 
not much more than that. There was no 
sex at all connected with this; that would 


able to top it. 


8 


174 have meant another person and that 


would have ruined everything I was feel- 
ing. Sex would have just gotten in the 
у of what I was feeling. 

Suddenly. everything felt special. 1 saw 
an old woman balancing a clay pot on 
her head and suddenly I could see her 
great beauty. I mean, she always had that 
beauty, but at that moment I was finally 
able to take it in. Maybe I shouldn't try 
10 explain this: maybe 1 can't explain it. 
АП I know is that it was one of the few 
times in my life that I didn't have to 
worry about another person on the face 
of the earth. In fact, | didn't ' to 
worry about another thing. What it was, 
I guess, was, for the first time in my lile, 
freedom. 1 felt free. I promised myself 
that someday I'd go back there and sit 
at that same café and drink 0 same 
wine, but I somehow never got around 
to it. 

ALICE: We could go over the kids’ 
spring vacation: 

THOMAS: No. It's too late, It wouldn't 
be the same. 


. 
лисе: The problem is, you don't feel 
free with me, do you? 


wanted to hear. 

т Whenever I stop to really 
think about it, whenever I open my eyes 
and look around me and see whats hap- 


JOMAS: 


pening to me, I see all the raps. 1 see 
that my whole life is a trap. 

МАСЕ: How can you say that? There 
are many who would be envious of what 
you've got. 

тномлз: Maybe it's because I sec the 
limits of it all too well. I see what Гуе 
got myself into all too well. Making love 
with you is about the only exception. 

ALICE: You don't have to say that. 

THOMAS: When we're like this, it's 
about the only time I come alive. This is 
life. My life. The rest of it, that's some- 
one else's life. I mean that, by the way. 
Т really have the feeling that I'm lea 
someone clsc's life 

ALICE: But it's all your life. 

Tnowas: Maybe not. I can't remember 
the last time 1 did anything that I want- 
ed to do. Every now and then, there's а 


minute or two that belongs to me, but 


the life is someone else's. Seriously. Just 
think about it for a minute. From the 
minute I get up in the morning, I start 
living someone еіѕс life. 1 wake up at 
an hour I hate—6:30, God!—and I sit 
down to breakfast with three kids who 
think I'm a fossil. Then I cat a breakfast 
І can’t stand—granola! Then 1 go oll to 
a boring office, where I meet with a part- 
ner I cant stand. Days go by, weeks go 
by, and it's as if someone else was doing 
it all. Sometimes I get the Ге 
this other guy is calling all the shots and 
I'm just along for the ride. 

ALICE: Can't you just change things? 

THowAs: It's gone on too long. It’s 
Bone on forever. And it was never a 
question of what 1 wanted to do: it was 
always something someone else decided I 
should do. 

масе: There millions of 
people feel the same way you do. 

THOMAs: I haven't even told you the 
worst of it. What kills me is that I don’t 
cven like this other guy who's living my 
life. We've got nothing in common. Here 
I am, walking around in his shoes and 
wearing his clothes, and he's a complete 
yoyo. He walks around, smiling at сте 
one, never expressing an opinion of his 
own, being nice all day long, never say- 
g an interesting or pertinent thing. 
And somewhere inside, deep inside, 
there's me, seething, I mean it. I'm so 
mad at this big yo-yo that I'm yelling 
side. "Speak up!" I shout to him. "Stop 
it!” I say. “Cut the crap! 
on doing the same mothing stuff. I 
wouldn't mind living someone else's life 
if it was only a life. 1 wouldn't mind 
1 ing Robert Redford's Ше, Or "Teddy 
Kennedy's Ше. The lives I 
wouldn't mind leading. But what kills 
me about this life is that it’s so boring. 


ag that 


must be 


it he goes 


lots of 


ONE WISH 


: If you had just one wish, what 
would it bez 


то: One wish right now? 
кекмїт: Yeah, but just the one wish. 
1015: I would wish that just once I 

might spend the whole night with you. 


THE TIMETABLE 


ports: Thursday's going to be bad for 
me—it looks like Thursday is completely 
out. Jenny's got to go to Dr. Smith. 

Justis: Couldn't you change the ap- 
pointmeni? 

ports: Гус already changed it twice 
and I don't dare mess with this week. Not 
the third time. I don't want to go down 
as a three-time loser in Smitty's book. 

jusri: Do you know how unreal this 
is? Letting an orthodontist run your love 
шс. 

poris: You don't have to tell me how 
idiotic it is. 

Justin: The last time, it was her bal- 
let class, I’m starting to think your little 
Jennifer's got something in for me. 

poris: Don't blame me. Гус told you 
what we should do. We ought to find 
some time for us—one day every week— 
and we should decide in advance that 
nothing short of a coronary can get in 
the way om that one day. 

Jus: 1 hate like hell to put this on 
a schedule, The trouble with my life now 

thing is on a schedule. 


timetable going, we're never going to 
get together. You know how long it was 
this time? 

JUsTIN: Yeah, it so happens I do know 
how long it was. 

poris: Or we could do it this way—we 


could pick out о! day, and then 
if something come we just cancel 
and no one goes away mad. 

Justin: Like what day? 

boris: I was thinking in terms of 
Wednesday night. 
Justin; That—you know thats the 
night of the game. 

Doris: So you start missing the game. 
You say— 
Justin: 1 wouldn't mind missing the 
me, but there's а catch. We know 
all these guys. Their wives all happen to 
be Charl's best friends, All 1 have to do 
is miss the game and word'd get back 
home by Western Union. I figure it's 
all right to tike a chance and miss а 
game every now and then, but there's no 
way 1 could just drop out. How about 
"Thursday? 

рой: 1 thought about that. I thought, 
well, I could give up the class, but that 
won't work out, cither, 

Justin: Why not? 

noms: Oh, I can miss it every once in 
a while. But the thing is, he likes to sur- 
prise me and pick me up afterward for a 
. Tt could get very hairy. 
JustIN: It’s a good thing I don't have 


What every 
stubble bum 
should know. 


The closer you Cut your stubble, the longer it takes to grow back. 


The longer it takes to grow back, the less likely 


you will look like a stubble bum 
before you have to shave 
again. Which brings us to 
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Congratulations. You are 
soon to join the ranks of the 
ex-stubble bum. 


B 


E oom 


a big cgo problem. You won't give up an 
orthodontist. appointment for me. You 
won't give up the kic's ballet lesson. You 
won't even give up a class in Chinese 


give up a class. 1 will —I do—but it's like 
your precious poker game. There's no 
way to do it full time. 

yustin: Yeah 


is complicated, but 
sten. The thing about the class is 
t's Hunan cooking and there's no 
way on earth to fake that. Every week 
after the class, I practice the dish we 
at least twice, 
ї ош on company. The thing 
is, if L come home and I'm not trying out 
some exotic Hunan dish, it won't take 
him too long to figure things out. He's 
jealous to start with 

Justis: OK. The weckend is clearly 
out for both of us. No Friday, no Satur- 
day and no Sunday. We've climinated 
Wednesday and Thursday. Mondays my 


1 mean, 
the one night I do work late at the 


g up and nce 


office. 

ports: Monday'd be tricky for me, any- 
way. Michael wants us to join the Great 
Books thing at the library. They meet 
Mondays. 


Justin: Jesus, Great Books now. That 
leaves Tuesday. Just Tuesday. 
voris: And Tuesday's no good for me. 
That's the ballet after school and Michael 
gets paid on Tuesdays. It always strikes 
him that we ought to go out and cele 
brate his good fortune. At his salary, 1 
sometimes wonder just what we're cele- 
brating. But he usually calls on Tuesday 
to say let's go out lor dinner 
Justin: Another big 
'acher's. 
: At what he makes, I don’t ask 


he at Arthur 


Justis: You know something, I think 
we just eliminated the whole damn week, 

poris: Maybe we could make it 
Wednesday afternoon. Wednesday after 
lunch but before your poker game. 

Jus: Thats a bad day for me. TI 
tell you—how about Tuesday morning? 
Tuesday morning Fm always sitting 
around with nothing to do. 

ponis: Tuesday morning? 

Jesns: It’s about the only time all 
week I'm sitting around with nothing to 
do. 

pomis: Tuesday morning at what time? 

Justis: Sometime before lunch, Then 
I could go back to the office after lunch. 
Just like nothing had happened. 

poris: Well give it a ry. We'll try it 
this Tuesday and sce how it goes. 


175 


PLAYBOY 


GARP'S NIGHT OUT 


kind, and he didn't flirt, Mrs. Ralph's 
nile, Garp noticed with concern, was 
sincere and appealin 
“Well, husbands are funny,” he mum- 
bled. “I don't think many of them know 
what they want." 
My husband found a nineteen-year- 
Mrs. Ralph said. “He scems to 
Mrs. Ralph clenched her fists 
in her Јар, staring at the stain on her 
dress, which marked her crotch with a 
ке bull’s-eye. “Boy, that’s me 
at the spo 
p sid. “It may leave 


у a stain!” Mrs. Ralph 
cried. A laughter so witless escaped her 
that it frightened Garp. He didn’t say 
nything and she said to him. "I'll bet 
you think that all I need is a good lay." 

To be fair, Garp rarely thought this of 
people, but when Mrs. Ralph mentioned 
it, he did think that, in her case. this 
oversimple solution might apply. 

“And TH bet you think Id let you do 
J shes р. 
fact, did th 
1 don't think y " he said. 

“Yes, you think I would love to,” Mrs. 
Ralph said. 

Garp hung his head. "Ni 

“Well, in your case 
might. Vt might make you 

“Please drive carefully,” Garp said; he 
pushed himself away from her car. “IE 
there's anything I can do, please call." 
anything he could 


"Like, if I need a good lover?” Mrs. 
Ralph asked him, nastily. 
“No, not that,” Garp sa 
Vhy did you stop me?” she 
"Because Í thought you w 
too fast.” he said. 


© a pompous far" she 


you're a slob, 
She cried out as if she wer 
"Look, Fm sorry,” he said 
"but ГИ just come pick up Dunc 
"No, please," id. "E can 


Garp told her. 
stabbed. 


look 
пег him, I really want to. He'll be all 


S she s 


ГИ look а 
This 
not that much of a slob. with 


n like he 
Па comfort € 


жаз шу 
tm 


Garp said—his litany. 

“So 1, said Mrs. Ralph. She 
started her car and drove past the stop 
d through the intersection without 
She drove away, more or less in 
the middle of the road, and Garp waved 
his wooden spoon alter her. 

. 

гр and Helen made love, 


Long after G 


176 and Helen fell asleep, Garp got dressed. 


(continued from page 128) 
When he sat on his bed to tie his track 
shoes, he sat on Helen's leg and woke 
her up. She reached out her hand to 
touch him, then felt his running shorts. 
rc you going?" she asked him. 
“To check on Duncan,” he said. Helen 
stretched up on her elbows, looked at 
her watch. It was after one in the morn- 
ing and she knew Duncan was at Ralph's 
house. 


“How are you going to check on Dun- 
an" she asked Garp. 
“I don't know,” Garp said. 

. 


n, like 
child molester the parent dreads, 
p stalks the sleeping spring suburbs, 
d dark; the people snore and 
nd dream, th mowers at 
r condition- 
ers to be runn A [ew windows are 
open, a few relrigerators are humming. 
There is the faint, trapped warble from 
some televisions tuned in to the Late 
Show and the blue-gray glow from the pi 
ture tubes throbs from few of the 
houses. To Garp this glow looks like 
cancer, insidious and numbing, putting 
the world to sleep. 

Garp moves lightly along the street; Le 
wants to meet no опе. His rui 
are loosely laced, his track shorts flap (he 
hasn't worn a jock, because he “ 
planned to run); though the spring air 
is cool, he wears no shirt. In the black- 
ened houses, an occasional dog snoríles 
as Garp passes by. Fresh from sex, just 
dipped in the syrup of lovemaking, Garp 
i ines that his scent is as Кес 
cut strawberry. He knows the dogs сап 
smell him. 

These 
for a moment, Garp is apprehensive that 
he might be Giught—in violation of so 
unwritten dress code, at least guilty of 
carrying mo identification. He hurries, 
nced he's going to Dunc: 


Like a gunman hunting his victi 
the 


it is too cool for thei 


rest; 


shoes 


as 


е well-policed suburbs and 


conv 


rescuing his son from the ramdy Mr 
Ralph. 
When Garp fist sees Ralph's house, 


he believes it should be given the Light 
of the Block aw every window 
gh 
cerous telev 


ng, the front door is open, the c 


ently loud. G: 
suspects Mrs, Ralph is having a party, 
t as he «тееру doser—her lawn fes- 
tooned with dog meses and mangled 
sporis equipment—he feels the house is 
deserted. The television's lethal rays | 
site through the living room, clogged with 
piles of shoes and clothes; aud. crammed 
inst the sagging couch are the сам 
bodies of. Dunca (d Ralph, half i 
sleep (of course), but 
the televi: murdered 
aces 


ion is 


look drained of blood. 

But where is Mrs. Ralph? Out for the 
evening? Gone to bed with all the lights 
on and the door open, leaving the boys 
to be bathed by the television? Garp 
wonders if she has remembered to shu 
the oven olf. The living room is pock- 
marked with ashtrays; Garp fears [or 

igarettes still smoldering. He stays be- 
hind the hedges and stinks to the kitchen 
wow, sniffing for gas. 

There is a liter of dishes in the sink, 
a bottle of gin on the kitchen table, the 
sour smell of slashed limes. The cord to 
the overhead light, at one time too short, 
has been substantially lengthened by one 
sheer leg and hip of 
panty hose—severed. up the 
whereabouts of the other half uncle: 
The nylon foot, spotted with u 
stains of grease, dangles in the breeze 
above the gin. There is nothing burning 
that Garp can smell, unless there's a 
slow fire under the cat, who lies neatly 
on top of the stove, artfully spread. be- 
tween the burners, its chin resting on 
the handle of a heavy skillet, its furry 
belly warmed by the pilot lights. Garp 
and the cit stare at cach other. The cat 
blinks. 

But Garp knows that 


slucent 


5. Ralph hasn't 


the necessary concentration to turn her- 
self 


Her home—her life—in 
he woman appears to have 
ndoned ship, or perhaps passed out 
htub, 
ed? And where is the beast whose 
igerous droppings have made a minc 
field out of the law 

Just then there is а thundcrou 
proach down the back staircase of 
heavy, falling body, which bashes open 
the stairway entrance door to the Kitcher 


startling the cat into flight, skidding the 
greasy iron skillet to the floor. Mrs. 
Ralph sits bare-assed and wincing on the 


linoleum, a kimonostyle robe wide open 
ad roughly tugged above her w 
miraculously unspilled drink in her hand. 
She looks at the drink, surprised, and 
ps it; her Luge, downpointing breasts 
shine—they slouch across her freckled 
ches as she leans back on her elbows 
and burps. Th corner of ihe 
kitchen, yowls at her, complaining. 

“Oh, shut up. Titsy,” Mrs. Ralph хаух 
to the cat, But when she tries to get up. 
she groans and lies down flat on her 
back. Her pubic hair is wet and glistens 
at Garp, her belly is furrowed with stretch 
marks, g as white and parboiled as 
under water for a long 
“TI get you out of here, if its 
st thing I do,” Mrs, Ralph tells the 
chen ceiling, though Garp assumes she's 
g to the cat. Perhaps she's broke 
her ankle and is too drunk to feel it, 
Garp thinks; perhaps she's broken her 
back. 


м, а 


lool 


if she has bei 
time. 


Garp glides alongside the house to the = 
open front door. He calls inside. “Апу- A&C G diers 
body home?" he shouts. The cat bolts ren 
between his legs and is gone outside. à = à 
Garp waits. He hears grums from the can't be imitated 
kitchen, the strange sounds of flesh : е 


slipping. 

"Well. as T live and breathe," says Mrs. 
Ralph. veerin imo the doorway, her 
robe of faded. flowers more or less drawn 
together; somewhere, she's ditched her 
drink, 

^p saw all the lights on and thought 
there might be trouble,” Garp mumbles. 

“Well, you're too late," Mrs. Ralph 
tells him, “Both boys are dead. I should 
never have let them play with that 
bomb." She probes Garp's unchanging 
face for any sign of a sense of humor 
there, but she finds him rather humorless 
on this subject. "OK, you want to see the 
bodies?” she asks. She pulls him toward 
her by the clastic 


vaistband of his run 
šarp, aware he's not wearing 
stumbles quickly alter his pants. 
g into Mrs. Ralph. who leis him 
go with a snap and wanders into the 
living room. Her odor confuses him. 
like vanilla spilled in the bouom of a 


deep, damp paper b. 


Mrs. Ralph seizes: Duncan. under. his Я 
arms and with astonishing strength lilts 
him in his sleeping bag to the mountain- = 
ous, lumpy couch; Garp helps her lift 
Ralph, who's heavier. They arrange the 
boys foot to foot on the couch, tucking 
their sleeping bags around them and \ 


setting pillows under their heads. Garp 
turns off the TV and Mrs. Ralph 


stumbles through the room, killing lights, There's only опе 
gathering ashtrays, "Nighty night," she 
whispers to the suddenly dark living b ti F І oki g 
Son. Стао а besat Pel eautirui SMOKIN 
ing his way toward the kitchen lights. e. 

оў dC gi ei Me api Ln experienc 
to him. "You've got to help me get some 


one out of here.” She takes his arm, 
drops 


bumpi 


1 ashtray: her kimono opens wide. 
Garp, bending 10 pick up the ashtray, 
brushes one of her breasts with his hair. 


“Гуе got this lummox up in my bed 


room," she tells Garp. "and he won't go. What makes A&C Grena- 
1 can't make him leave. diers 50 special? Maybe 
“A lummox?" Garp says. it's the long, sleek shape. 
"He's a real oal,” says Mrs. Ralph, “a Or the time-tested blend 
fucking wingdir of aged; rich-tasting to- 
“A wingding?" Garp says baccos. Or the choice of 


“Yes, please make him go," she tells 


imported wrappers: dark 
Gameroun or light. Try an 
A&C Grenadier and see 
don't wear too much, do you?" she asks for yourself. " 

him. “Aren't you cold?” She lays her One thing is for sure— 
hand flat on his bare stomach. "No. there's only one beautiful 
you're not" she says, shrugging. smoking experience. 

P y from her. "Who is A&C Grenadiers. 


ing he might get in- 
SO evicting Mrs. Ralph's former 


Garp. She pulls out the elastic waistband 
of his shorts a 


n. and t с she 


takes an unconcealel look. “God, you 


SIX CIGARS 


PLAYBOY 


178 


"Hmm. According to these tests, 
you have a fundamental perceptual handicap. You can't tell 
your ass from a hole in the ground.” 


husband from the house. 

“Come on, I'll show you,” she whispers. 
She draws him up the back staircase 
through а narrow channel that passes be- 
tween the piled laundry and enormous 
stacks of pet food. No wonder she fell 
down here, he thinks 

In Mrs Ralph's bedroom, Garp looks 
immediately at the sprawled black Тар 
dor retriever оп Mrs. Ralph's undul 
ag water bed. The dog rolls listlessly on 
side and thumps his tail. Mrs. Ralph 
es with her dog, Garp thinks, and she 
n't get him out of her bed. "Come on, 
7 Сатр says. “Get out of here.” The 
and pees a 


m 
с 
bo: 
dog thumps his tail harder 


le. 

Not him.” Mrs. Ralph says, givit 
Garp а terrific shove; he catches his bal- 
ance on the bed, which sloshes. The 

dog licks his face, Mrs. Ralph is pointing 
to an casy chair at the loot of the bed, 
but Garp first sees the young man re- 
fered in Mrs. Ralph's  dressing-table 
Sitting naked in the chair, he is 
g out the blond end of his u 
ponytail, which he holds over his shoulder 
nd sprays with one of Mrs. Ralph 
тозо] cans. His belly and thighs have 
the same slick buttered look that Garp 
saw on the flesh and fur of Mis. Ralph, 
and his young cock is as lean and arched 
as the backbone of a whippet 


mirror 


“Hey, how you doing?” the kid says to 
Garp 
“Fine, thank you," Garp says. 


"Get rid of him,” sys Mrs. Ralph. 

“I've been trying to get her to just 
relax, you know?" the kid asks Garp. 
‘Vm trying to get her to just sort of 


go with it, you know?" 


“Don't let him talk to you," Mrs. 
Ralph says "Hell bore the shit out of 
you." 

"Everyone's so tense,” the kid tells 
р: he turns in the chair, leans back 
and puts his fect on the water bed; the 
dog licks his long toes. Mrs. Ralph kicks 
his legs off the bed. "You sce what I 
mean?” the kid asks Garp. 

She wants you to leave," Garp s 

2" the kid asks. 

ays Mrs. Ralph, "and 
iule prick off i 


“You her husband 
“That's righ 
hell pull your silly 
you don't get out of her 
"You better go,” Garp tells him. "FII 
help you find your dou! 
The kid shuts his eyes, appears 
meditate. "He's really gre 
Миз. Ralph tells Garp. “AIL this Kid's 
ood for is shutting his damn eyes." 
Where are your doth 
the boy. Perhaps he's 17, 18, Garp thi 
Maybe he's old enough for college, or a 
war. The boy dreams on and Garp gently 
shakes him by the should 
“Don't touch me, man,” the boy says. 
eyes still closed. ‘There is something fool- 
ishly threatening in his voice that makes 
Garp draw back and look at Mrs. Ralph. 
She shrugs. 
“That's what he said 10 me, 100,” she 
says. Like her smiles, Garp notices, Mrs. 
Ralph’s shrugs are instinctual, si 
Garp grabs the boys ponyt 
it across his throat and around to 
back of his neck; he sn 
into the cradle of his ad holds him 
tightly there. The kid's eyes open. 
“Get your clothes, OK?" Garp tells him. 
"Don't touch me,” the boy repeats. 
"Lam touching you,” Garp say 
"OK, OK," хауз the boy. 
him get up. The boy is sev 


the 
ps the boy's head 


m 


taller than Garp but easily 15 pounds 
lighter. He looks for his clothing, but 
Mis. Ralph has already found it—a long 
purple caftan, absurdly heavy with bro- 
cade. The boy climbs into it like armor. 
“It was nice balling you,” he tells 
Mrs. Ralph, "but you should leam to 
more.” Mrs. Ralph laughs so harshly 
that the dog stops wagging its tail. 

You should go back to day on 
she tells the kid, “and learn everyt 
all over again, from the beginning.” She 
stretches out on the water bed beside the 


Labrador, who dolls his head across her 
stomach. “Oh, cut it out, Bill!" she tells 
the dog crossly. 

"She's very unrelaxed,” the kid informs 


it about how to 
body," Mrs. Ralph says. 

Garp steers the young man out of the 
room and down the treacherous back 
staircase, through the kitchen to the open 
front door. 

“You know, she asked me in,” the boy 
plains. “It was her ide: 
"She asked you to leave, тоо," Garp 


ex 


‘ou know, you're as unrelaxed as she 
is" the boy tells him. 

“Did the kids know what was upi 
Garp asks him. “Were they asleep when 
you two went upstairs 
Don't worry about the kids,” the boy 
says. "Kids are beautiful, man. And they 
know much more than grownups think 
they know. Kids are just perfect people 
until grownups get their hands on them. 
The kids were just fine. Kids are always 
just fine.” 

Until no 


p has felt great. pa- 


Чепсе toward the young man, but Garp 
isn't patient on the subject of childr 
he accepts no other authority there. 


soodbye,” Garp tells the boy. “And 
don't come back" He shoves him, but 
lightly, out the open door. 
Don't push me!" the kid shouts, but 
Garp ducks under the punch 
up with his arms locked around the kid's 
1: 10 Gaup it feels t 
75. maybe 80 pounds, though, of course, 
he’s heavier than that. He bear-hugs the 
boy and carries him out to the sidewalk. 
1 the kid stops struggling, Garp puts 
m down. 
You kuow where to go?" Garp asks 
him. “Do you need any directions?” The 
kid breathes deeply, feels his ribs. “And 
don't tell your friends where they can 
come sniffing lter it" Garp says. 
"Don't even use the phone; 
"I don't even. know her name, man," 
the kid whines. 
“And don't call me man ag 


round 


one, but he lets the feeling pass. 
Please walk away from here," Garp 


A block away, the boy calls, “'Вуе, 
Iman!” Garp knows how quickly he could 
run him do icipation of such a 
comedy ls to him, but it would be 
disappointing if the boy weren't scared 
and Garp feels no pressing need to hurt 


nd walks on, his silly robe 
1 carly Christian lost in the 


talking to the dog, "Oh, Bi 
ry 1 abuse you, 


You're so nice." 
Goodbye!” Garp Gills up the staircase. 
“Your friend's gone, and I'm going, too. 


: soon 

rt to bay. 
“What can I do: 

stairs. 

'ou could at least stay and talk to 
Mrs. Ralph shouts. "You goody- 

goody chickenshit wingding 


Garp calls up the 


w Garp wonders, 
па: : 

“You probably think this happe 
10 me all the time," says Mrs. Ralph, in 


Er 
sits with her legs crossed, her ki 


plement on the water bed. She 
ono 


tight around her, Bill's large head in 
her lap. 

Garp. in fact, does think so, but he 
shakes his head. 


“1 don't get my rocks off by humi 
ing myell, you know," Mrs. Ralph says. 
“For God's sake, sit down.” She pulls 
Garp to the rocking bed. “There's not 
h water in the damn thing,” Mrs. 
s. "My husband used to 
ne, because it leaks." 


m sorry,” Ga 
"b hope you nev Ik out on your 
" Mis. Ralph tells Garp. She takes 
1 and holds it in her lap: the dog 
fingers. "Its the shittiest thing a 
1 do,” says Mrs. Ralph. "He just 
told me he'd been faking his interest 
for years! he said. And then he 
almost апу other woman, уо 

nT did. 
Ralph 


old, looked better to 


p agrees. 
me, | never messed 
around with anyone until he left me,” 
Mrs, Ralph tells him. 

“I believe you,” Garp says. 

“It’s very hard on а woman's соп 
dence," Mrs. Ralph says. "Why shouldn't 
I ту to have some fu 

“You should,” Garp 

“But I'm so bad at i 
Fesses, holding her ha 
rocking on the bed. The dog tries to lick 
her face, but Garp pushes him away; the 
dog thinks Garp is playing with him and 


lunges across Mrs. Ralph's lap. Carp 
whacks the dogs nosc—too hard—and 
the poor beast wh 
“Don't you 


“L was just trying to help you 
says. 

“You don't help me by hurting Bill.” 
Mrs. 


alph says "Jesus, is everyone 


Garp slumps back on the w 
eyes shut tight; the bed rolls 
sea and Garp groans. 
to help you, 
so 


er bed, 
ke a small 
don't know how 
he confesses. “I'm very 
bout your troubles, but theres 


says, his cyes still shut tight. "but nobody 
can help the w 


he feels her hand grab him 
under his track shorts and he thinks. 
coldly: If T didn't really want her to do 
that, why did I lie down on my back? 
Please don't do that,” he says. She can 
certainly fcel he's not interested and she 
lets bim go. She Нез down beside him, 
then rolls away. putting her back to him. 
Bill nies to wriggle between them, but 


Ralph elbows him so hard in his 
k rib cage that the dog coughs and 
ndons the bed for the floor. 


"Poor Bill" Mrs. Ralph says, crying 
softly. Bill's hard t ог. 
Mrs. Ralph. as if to complete her self- 


hu is steady. 
like the kind of rain Garp knows can last 
all day. Garp wonders what could gi 
the woman a little confidence. 

ph?” G: then tries to 
at he's sa 
she says. rd you 
She struggles up to her elbows and turns 
her head to glare at him; sh 
he knows. “Did you say ‘M 
she asks him. 


up on the edge of the bed: 
feels like joining Bill on the floor. 
you very attract he mumbles to Mrs. 
Ralph, but he's facing Bill. “Really, I 
do.” 


Prove it,” Mrs. 
lamn liar. Show me. 
ca 
not because I don't 

“I don't even 
Mrs, Ralph shouts. "Here I am, 
naked, and when you're be: 


you god- 


le mc—on 


woo p А 4^ 


“As a matter of fact, I do know where 
you can get it cheaper.” 


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my goddamn bed—you don't even have 
a respectable hard-on.” 

“I was trying to conceal it from you, 
Garp says. 

"You succeeded,” Mrs. Ralph says 
“What's my name?" 

Garp [eels he has never been so aware 
of one of his terrible weaknesses: how 
he needs to have people like him, how he 
wants to be appreciated. With every word, 
he knows, he is deeper in trouble and 
deeper into an obvious Не. Now he knows 
what a wingding is 
Your husband must be crazy. 


Garp 
says. "You look better to me than most 
women." 

“Oh, please stop it," says Mrs. Ralph. 
“You must be sick.” 

I must be, Garp agrees, but he say 
You should have confidence in your 
sexuality, believe me. And, more impor- 
tantly, you should have confidence in 
yourself in other ways.” 

“There never were any other ways,” 
Mrs. Ralph admits, "I was never 

but 


good at anythi 
то good at sex, cither. 

“But you're going to school," Garp 

ys. groping. 
Em sure I don't know why,” Mrs. 
Ralph says. Garp squints hard, wishes for 
unconsciousness; when he hears the water 
bed sound like surf. he senses danger and 
opens his eyes. Mrs. Ralph has undressed, 
has spread herself out on the bed паке Js 
The little waves are still lapping under 
her roughtough body, which confronts 
Garp like a sturdy rowboat moored on 
choppy water. “Show me that you've got 
a hard-on and you can go," she says. 
“Show me your hard-on and I'll believe 
you like me.” 

Garp tries to think of an erection; in 
order to do this, he shuts his eyes and 
thinks of someone else, 

"You bas s Mrs. Ralph, but 
Garp discovers he is already hard. Open- 
ing his eyes, he's forced to recognize that 
Mrs. Ralph not without allure. He 
pulls down his track shorts and shows 
himself to her. The gesture itself makes 
him harder; he finds himself liking her 
damp, curly hair. But Mrs. Ralph seems 
neither disappointed nor impressed with 
the demonstration; she is resigned to be- 
ing let down. She shrugs. She rolls over 
id turns her great round rump to G: 
OK, so you can actually get it up, 
tells him. “Thank you, You can go home 
nov 

Garp feels like touching her. Sickened 
with embarrassment, Garp feels he could 
come by just looking at her. He blunders 
owt the door, down the wretched stai 
case. Is the woman's self-abuse all over 
for this night? he wonders. Is Duncan 
safe? 

He contemplates extending his vigil 


until the comforting light of dawn. Step- 
ping on the fallen skillet and clan 
it against the stove, he hears not even а 
sigh from Mis. Ralph and only a groan 
from Bill. If the boys were to wake up 
and need anything, he knows Mrs. Ralph 
wouldn't hear them. 

Its 3:30 лм. in Mrs. Ralph's finally 
quiet house when Garp decides to dean 
the kitchen, to kill the time until dawn 
Familiar with а housewife's tasks. Garp 
fills the sink and starts to wash the 
dishes. 


. 
When the phone rang, Garp knew it 
was Helen; it suddenly occurred to him— 
all the terrible things she could have on 
ind. 
Hello,” Garp said. 

“Would you tell me what's going on. 
please?" Helen asked, Garp knew she had 
been awake a long time. It was four 
o'dock in the morning. 

“Nothing's going on, Helen, Garp 
said. “There was a little trouble here 
and I didn’t want to leave Duncan.” 

“Where is that woman:” Helen asked. 

"In bed,” Garp admitted. “She passed 
ош.” 

"From what?” Helen asked. 

“she'd been drinking" Garp said 
"There was а young man here, with her, 
and she wanted me to get him to leave. 

"So then you were alone with her? 
Helen asked. 
ot for long," Garp said. "She fell 
asleep." 

“L don't imagine it would take very 
long,” Helen said, "with her." 

Garp let there be silence. He had not 
experienced Helen's jealousy for two 
years, but he had no trouble remember- 
ing its surprising sharpness. 

“Nothing's going on, Helen," Garp 
vid. 

“Tell me what you're doing, exactly, 
at this moment,” Helen said. 

"Em washing the dishes,” Garp told 


He heard her take a long, controlled 
breath. 

“I wonder why you're sull ther 
Helen said. 

7I didn't want to leave Duncan," Garp 


told her. 

^p think you should bring Duncan 

Helen said. “Right now.” 
Jelen p said, “I've been good.” 
It sounded defensiv п to Carp: he 
knew he hadn't been quite good enough. 
"Nothing has happened," he added, fecl- 
ing a little more sure of the truth of that. 

“I won't ask you why you're washing 
her filthy dishes,” Helen said. 

“To pass the time,” Garp said. But 
in wuth, he had not cxamined what he 
was doing, until now, and it seemed 
pointless to him—waiting for dawn, as 
if accidents happened only when it was 
dark. “I'm waiting for Duncan to wake 


ev 


up." he said, but as soon as he spoke, 
he felt there was no sense to that, either. 

"Why not just wake him up?" Helen 
asked. 

“Also, Fm good at washing dishes,” 
p said, trying to introduce a little 

r. 
I know all the things you're good at,” 
Helen told him, a little too bitterly to 
pass as a joke 

"You'll. make yourself sick, thin 
like this" Garp said. "Helen, really, 
please stop it, 1 haven't done anything 
wrong," But Gurp-had a puritan's nig- 
gling memory of the hard-on Mrs. Ralph 
had given him. 

“Гуе already made myself sick,” Helen 
said, but her voice softened. “Please come 
she told him. 

“And leave Duncan? 

“For Christ's sake, wake him up!" she 
said. "Or carry him." 

Ill be right home,” Garp told her. 
"Please don't worry, don't think what 
you're thinking. ГШ tell you everything 
that happened. You'll probably love the 
story.” But he knew he would have wou- 
ble telling her this story and that he 
would have to think very carefully about 
the parts to leave out. 

“I feel better,” Helen said. “T'I see 
you, soon. Please don't wash another 
dish." Then she hung up and Carp re- 
viewed the kitchen. He thought that his 
half hour of work hadn't made enough of 
а dillerence for Mrs. Ralph to notice that 
any ellort to approach the debris had 
even been begun. 

Garp sought Duncan's clothes among 
the many forbidding clos of clothing 
flung about the living room. He knew 
Duncan's clothes, but he couldn't find 
them anywhere; then he remembered that 
Duncan, like a hamster, stored his things 
in the bouom of his sleeping bag and 
crawled into the nest with them. Duncan 
weighed about 80 pounds, plus the bag, 
plus his junk, but Garp believed he could 
carry the child home. At least, Garp de- 
cided, he would not wake Duncan up 
inside Ralph's house. There might be a 
scene; Duncan would be fussy about it. 
Mrs. Ralph might even wake up. 

Then Garp thought of Mrs. Ralph. 
Furious at himself, he knew he wanted 
one last look; his sudden, recurring егес- 
tion reminded him that he wanted to sce 
her thick, crude body again. He moved 
quickly to the back staircase; he could 
have found her fetid room with his nose, 

He looked straight at her crotch, her 
rather small nipples (for such big breasts). 
He should have looked first at her eyes; 
then he might have realized she was wide- 
awake and staring back at him. 

"Dishes all done?” asked Mrs. Ralph. 
"Come to say goodbye 

^] wanted to sce if you were all right,” 
he told her. 


g 


home now, 


“Bullshit,” she said. ou wanted an- 
other look.” 

"Yes" he confessed; he looked away. 
“I'm sorry. 

"Don't be" she said. “It's made my 
^ Garp tried to smile. 

“You're too ‘sorry’ all the time,” Mrs. 
Ralph said. "What a sorry man you 
are. Except to your wile,” Mis. Ralph 
said. "You never once said you were sorry 
to he 

There was a phone beside the w: 
bed. Garp felt he had never so b 
misread a person's condition as he had 
misread Mrs. Ralph's. She was suddenly 
no drunker than Bill; or she had become 
miraculously undrunk, or she was enjoy- 
ing that half hour of clarity between stu- 
por and hangover—a half hour Garp had 
read about but had always believed was а 
myth, Another illusion, 

“I'm taking Duncan home,” Garp told 
her. She nodded. 

“IE E were you," she said, “I'd take him 
home, too 

Garp fought back another “I'm sorry,” 
suppressed it after a short but serious 
struggle. 

“Do me one favor?" said Mrs. Ralph. 
Garp looked at her; she didn't mind. 
“Don't tell your wile everyting about 
me, OK? Don't make me out to be such 
a pig. Maybe you could draw a picture of 
me with a little sympathy.” 

“L have pretty good sympathy,” Garp 
mumbled, 

“You have a pretty good rod on, t00,” 
siid Mrs. Ralph, staring at Garp's elevat- 
cd track shorts. “You better not take that 
home.” Garp said nothing; Garp the 
puritan felt he deserved to take a few 
punches. “Your wile really looks after 
you, doesn't she Mrs. Ralph. “I 
guess you haven't always been a good boy. 
You know what my husband would have 
called you?" she asked, “My husband 
would have called you pussy-whipped.” 

“Your husband must have been some 
asshole,” Garp said. It felt good to ре! 
punch in, even a bad punch, but he felt 
foolish that he had mistaken this woman 
for a slob. 

Mrs. Ralph got off the bed and stood 
in front of Garp. Her tits touched. his 
chest. Garp was anxious that his hard-on 
might poke her. “You'll be back," Mrs. 
Ralph said. "Want to bet on it?" Garp 
left her without a word. 

He wasn’t farther than two blocks from 
Mrs. Ralph's house—Duncan crammed 
down in the sleeping bag, wriggling over 
arp's shoulder—when the squad саг 
pulled to the curb and its police-bluc 
light flickered over him where he stood 
caught: a furtive, half-naked kidnaper 
sneaking away with his bright bundle 
of stolen goods and stolen looks—and 


a stolen child. 


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PLAYBOY 


182 


VERY QUIET HORROR клоп page 111) 


the upper latrines were located. We 
helped improve the сап e we stayed 
there. At the very outset, all of us came 


with bad colds; we 
They let us light 
Ñ; it helped a bit to 


down simultancousl 
had no warm clot 
wood fires in the ya 
keep warmer. 

We all lost weight at Dawson: I lost 
30 pounds in the first three months. Dan- 
іеі Vergara, who had been shot in the 
arm, didn't get the bullet removed for a 
full month: They took him to a Punta 
Arenas hospital only when gangrene de- 
veloped. Inasmuch were kept in- 
doors most of the time, we had to use 
buckets for our bodily functions 

Was there forced labor at Dawson? 

LETELIER: At first, they didn’t want us 
to work outside. We asked permission to 
build latrines, cut down some trees and 
build a bypass for the canal. Fir 
let us do it. But after about 25 days in the 
camp. the military decided to subject us 
10 lorced labor, even though we were 
never tried or sentenced, Firs, they 
made us walk around the ad in terrible 
d, with gusts up to 80 miles per hour. 
10 the antarctic wind, sometimes blow- 
ing stones and pieces of ice into one's 
face, slashing 

Under 


5 wi 


Mabor 


the fore system, we 

worked from seven 1 seven Pt, 
or later. First, we built the kurines. 
п. we had to erect telephone. poles 


small naval sta- 
Every 150 feet, 
the 4 


between our camp and 
tion, some 14 miles awa 
we had to dig a hole i 
sometimes it was rock. 

You know, fascism is a rather i 
thing, but fascism combined with econom- 
ic underdevelopment is really incredible. 
So there were no tools for this work, there 
were no shovels—that's how underdevel- 
oped this place was. Sometimes we had to 
dig the postholes with our hands. You'd 
work four or five hours and you had dug 
down four or fi inches. And much de- 
pended on the sergeant in charge of the 
detail, Some sergeants would let us rest for 
five minutes every two hours: others made 
it every three hours. But then we could re 
lax and smoke. We had been authorized 
some time earlier to receive pack: 
from home, so finally, we had ci 
And we had to reinforce the barbed wire 
ad cut firewood. Because of the cold on 
Dawson, the military wanted to stock up 
on firewood for the winter. So we had to 
cut down tall trees, with hand axes. natu: 
rally. Т didn't have the slightest idea how 
to use an 

What did the: 

LETE 


tive 


feed you? 
ex: AL first, it was coffee and 
Dread in the morning. then lentils that 
were brought to us at noon at the work- 
site. Later, they gave us some pot 
у gave us no meat and no fruit, 
h is why we developed a generalized 
dition of malnutrition, José Tol 
one of our group, was so terribly affected 


joes. 


he lost 70 pounds. And even the len- 
tils we ate were mixed with pebbles. 
Sometime in November, we started occit- 
sionally receiving pieces of fat, which for 
us was the most welcome thing, because 


Olten it rained so hard that we we 
ed even before we started work. On 
prisoner would become 
tually Then the guards would let 
us light a fire and put the man next to it. 
We would keep slipping him to keep up 
his circulation. 

How did you all hold up psycho- 


logically? 
Lerner: Naturally, this whole situa- 
tion created а very strong. psychological 


pressure on us, but it’s really astounding 
how important it is to be together. Each 
man wants to be an. example to the oth- 
ers. This sense of unity, ol collective sup- 
port, allowed us to survive all that time. 
Aud there were all kinds of things. 
night, for example, the guards would 
yank prisoners out of their sheds and sim- 
е executions, the and them back to 
r cots. We heard the shots. 

The original Dawson group of 37 was 
increased to 11 late in September with 
the ariival of seven prisoners who had 
been leading government officials in Val- 
paraiso. АП had been severely 
tortured during their initial. detention 
aboard the Chilean navy’s training ship 
Esmeralda, which had been turned into a 
prison after the military coup. (Protest 
demonstrations were staged against the 
Esmeralda when the Tall Ships gathered 
in New York harbor on July fourth last 
year. The ship's master denied that it had 
been used as a prison.) The Valparaiso 
prisoners had been subjected. to elec- 
bic shocks to the genitals and to the 
tongue. Letelier heard their stories. in 
detail and уаш the marks on their bodies. 

LETELIER: Sergio Vuskovic who was 

yor of Valparai: 1 his tongue com- 
pletely burned from electric shocks, The 
same thing happened to Andres Sepul- 
1 The navy's 
ors had developed their own 
techniques. They always kept the prison- 
ers blindlolded. Routinely, the first ques- 
tions were about arms: where were the 
arms? Then came the tortures, the elec 
tric shocks, the rd the 
Esmeralda, prisoners were 
to a шам and beaten. Then they were 
taken below deck for clectric-shock 
ment to obtain confessions. Vuskovic, for 
instance, had several ribs broken and 
could hardly stand up. In other cas 
Jesh wounds were inflicted on the. pris- 
oners. then the wounds were rubbed with 
salt. One prisoner was forced to rub salt 
with his feet into the wounds of another 
prisoner. 

There alo were women prisoners 
aboard the Esmeralda and they, too, were 
tortured, They received electric shocks. 


seven 


interre 


"They were forced to parade naked in front 
ol other prisoners and sailors. They were 
raped by sailors 
AIL that was b. 
scrcams. 
Was there any improvement in your 
lives at Dawson as time went by? 
Well, 1 told you 
these 


dal 


i that ship w 


bout the 
went 


that they had been firing right next to 
our shed. The soldiers and the sailors 
were being told by their officers that for- 
cign submarines were about 
Dawson to rescue us. The idi 
keep the troops excited and host 
ward us. 

By late September, some 300 new po- 
litical prisoners had been taken to D 
son from Punta Arenas. Increasingly, the 
Letelier group was allowed to develop 
contacts with them at worksites. The mili- 
tary no longer tried to keep secret the 
identity of its high-level prisoners. But 
forced labor became harder and harder 

LETE : We were ordered to fill bi 
sacks with stones from the beach and to 
run with them as far as possible. The 
stones were for the new house the island's 
naval commander was building for him- 
sell, Our legs would collapse under us; 
some of the men would just faint Irom 
sheer exh ng on the ground 
in blinding rain. Working on the beach, 
we sometimes saw ferries taking prison- 
ers to Pu nterropation, 
then returning them ten or twenty days 
later. We'd watch them come oll. the 
bout ny of them with broken ribs, 
tongues burned from elearic shock and 
their bodies covered with wounds. 

The interrogation system at Punta 
Atenas wits 10 keep them incommunicado 
lor five or six days; then the prisoners 
were released in a yard. where the mili 
tary kept huge mastills that were let loose 
on them. Afterward, the prisoners were 
pushed ag; 1 calafate har 
is covered with thorns; after a few mo- 
ments, their bodies were full of thorns. 
Next, the men were forced то cat ем 
ment, were beaten aud given elearic 
shocks. Only then, interrogation. started. 
They were forced to sign confessions 
blindfolded, not knowing what they were 
signing. Back in camp, they were give 
some time to recover, We knew all about 
them, because there was a physician 
our group of prisoners, Arturo Giron, 
who was often called by the military 10 
treat the detainees. Sometimes. Giron 
would be called out at midnight or three 
AM, when a demyboar with tortured 
prisoners returned hom a Arenas. 

At Puerto Harris, officials from the 
International Red Cross were allowed to 
visit the prisoners. Prior to the visit, the 
men were kept working until three хм. 
painting a new shed, so that the inspec- 
tors would not find them in the cramped 


ist а tree we ca 


“When you asked to borrow the car, we thought 
you wanted lo go someplace.” 


PLAYBOY 


184 


conditions of the other shack, In the 
morning, they were taken to a beach, 
given a soccer ball and ordered to play. 
Letelier vividly recalled this incident. 
LETELIER: Suddenly, a jeep arrived at 
the beach, carrying Red Cross offic 
‘This was theater, this was a show to dem. 
onstrate to the Red Cross that the pris- 


ones practiced sports. However, Red 
Cross offi insisted on private conver- 
sations with individual prisoners. They 


could see that persons still had torture 
marks, including Carlos Gonzales, an ex- 
congressman, on whose back a huge letter 
Z had been slashed with a bayonet. Z was 
the alleged secret plan of the Allende 
government to murder the chiefs of the 
armed forces and the formal excuse for 


the coup. Curiously, however, I was never 
asked 


ations dur- 


Ithough 1 


bout Plan Z in 
g my year ol incarceration, 
had been the defense mi 
sumably would have known 
plan. The junta used Plan Z to keep up 
the morale in the armed forces: there 
were posters in army barracks throughout 
Chile, sa! REMEMBER Z—YOU WERE 
TO DIE IN SEPTEMBER. 

Were there reprisals against. prisoners 
who talked to Red Cross officials? 

LeTELIER: No. The Red Cross people 
were very discreet: they never passed on 
to the Chilean military the names of the 
prisoners whom they interviewed—so it 
м impossible to deter e who had said 


nterrogs 


what to the Red Cross, But the Red Cross 


mission did write a 
and after that, it wi 
spect Dawson. However, 
of the we be ng mattresses. 
blankets, food, chocolate, and so on, from 
the Red Cross. The excuse for keeping 
the Red Cross out of Dawson alter the 


eport about tortures, 
s not allowed to in- 
from the time 


first visit was that we had hidden weap- 
ons and were prep uprising. But 
how could we have had arms in that in- 
accessible. frozen hell that was Dawson? 
On December 20, 1973, after three 
months at Puerto. Harris, the Letelier 
group was removed to another concen. 
tration camp on Dawson Island—the Rio 
Chico camp—some seven miles away. 
ter: In April 1974, a colonel ar- 
Rio Chico: he lined us up and 
told us that weapons had been discov- 
ered in the camp. We were locked up for 
a day in a shed and subjected to a search. 
Some of us had little pieces of metal, 
from 1 


arbed wire, which we used 
ips on stones to be sent 
to our families via the Red Cross. There 
was less forced labor in Rio Chico, be- 
cause we were too far from worksites and 
they had no trucks to take us. So we had 
more free time and we could work on the 
stone engravings. But now they took our 
litle tools away. We were stripped naked 
for the search. The colonel informed us 
that the presence of “arms” among us 
was л of rebellion and that punish- 
ment would be applied. 

A few days later, 
arrived at Rio Chico. We were no longer 
a lowed to walk; we had to run all the 

We had to run on the beaches, 
ing stone-filled sacks. Prisoners were 
ng all the time. Whenever we were 
addressed by the marines, we had 10 re- 
ply with shouts. АН this was intended to 
maintain a high degree of nervous ten- 
sion among us. They wouldn't let us 
sleep: We would be yanked out of bed 
in the middle of the night and forced to 
мапа in Ше га We were thrown to 
the ground in the mud. Then we were 
made to run in the rain. Some of us were 
placed in solitary confinement. 


ay we 


| | fil 


үн 


“You could learn a thing or two from Harrington, here, Wiltz.” 


Were you ever afraid that you might 
mike a soldier angry aid be shot? Did 
you think they were trigger-ha ppy? 
ттк: Of course. This was espe- 
сіШу true of the special repression 
group—the marines—who were com- 
posed largely of professional psychop 
There w sergeant who kept 
us, “I've already killed 12 of you. 
Then he would make us lic on 
ground, hit and kick us in the face and 
provoke us in every way 10 see whether 
he could produce a reaction justifying an 
execution, We really thought they wanted 
provocation to kill us. They would sud- 
denly turn of the lights 
hall and tell us not to move. 


the 


the slightest noise, the serge: would 
say, “Now we've got you, now we're going 
to take care of you.” Then shots would 
be fired and we'd think, Well, this is it. 


Were you allowed amy contact with 
your families? 

Lerenier: We were told we could write 
a letter a week home, but we were per- 
mitted to receive letters only once а 
month or so, Our wives letters were 
censored to the point where sometimes 
only one or two lines were left on a sheet 
of paper. They crossed out the rest and 


added, instead. dirty, filthy words. We 
were allowed to receive photographs of 
our families, but, in my case, E returned 


them to the c: 
fundamental thi 


p officials. You see, the 
that point was to 
survive, to resist day by day. and for me. 
thar kind of contact with the outside 
world, the fact that I could see pictures 
ol my family, was very damaging to me. 1 
it would weaken me psy- 
ically: E had to concentrate on my 
y night, 1 thought, 
Fm still alive, Гуе won ап exira 


Well, 
day from the fascists. 


You thought that if you thought of 
our family, you couldn't resist? 
TELIER: Yes. And the only way to be 
reunited with my family was to rem: 
alive and sane. My obligation was to re 
turn home sane. Of course, Т had mo- 
ments of psychological collapse 
situation of a political p 
night: one of total uncerta 
One day they take you somewhere то be 
interrogated, the next day they announce 
that they will execute you; there 
rules; it is complete uncert 
tion to everything. И, at le 
you that you'll be in prison for. say. 
three years, you сан organize yor 
а prisoner around these three years. But 
there was nothing like that at Dawson. It 
was only present—no future. 

Did you ever feel sorry for yourself for 
having lost so much—your family, your 


wa 


position? 
LeTELIER: You see. as a political p 
oner, facing all this irrationality, one 


wonders, How is it possible that the 
world allows these things 10 happe 
How is it possible that in this century, 


with all the con 
so much 


lity 


about the value of international 
tions, the value of all the dec- 
a rights, if all this is 
ad nobody cares. Per- 
prisoner feels more 
mon prisa the 
omenon of injustice. 
1 who, what- 
he has 


ders 


haps a poli 
strongly t 


the scale of human values, a man t 
he cannot be punished for what he 
thinks, rightly or wrongly. So the politi- 
cal prisoner doesn't think he has violated 
the norms of human behavior. 1, as a 
political prisoner, never could have an 
attorney; a common criminal could have 
an attorney 

On May 8, 1974, Letelier’s group was 
removed from Dawson back to the Chil- 
can mainland, probably because winter 
was approaching and the prisoners would 
not have survived on the island. But the 
departure from Dawson was marked by 
final touches of brutality. 

kerene: We left our sheds at four 
л.м. We were led on a forced march from 
Rio Chico for about 12 miles until we 
reached p- On the way, we had to 
cross two rivers, taking off our clothes 
belore plunging into the cold water, so 
that they could be dry afterward. We made 
1 to cross the rivers, to 
t nobody drowned. The 
whole time, the guards were pointing the 
guns at us. Five hours later, at nir 
we reached the айз! There we wei 
dered to lie on the ground. They kept us 
for a full hour in that terrible wind that 
slashes your skin. Finally, we boarded 
nes for the flight to Punta 
they placed ив 
isport. Curiously, 
one of the planes 1 had bought for 
force when I was ami 
hington. As I climbed aboard, 
nacled, 1 thought how ironic it 
t ] would be transported in that 
пе like a package. 
"he prisoners were flown 10 El Bosque 
Air Force Base near Santiago, roped to 
thei They were 
received by an army colonel who was the 
chief of the National Detainees Office, 
the Chilean equivalent of the Soviet 
Gulag prison administration. Each pris- 
oner was photographed as he stood in 
line on the tarmac. Then, soldiers with 
Red Cros insignia placed hoods on the 
prisoners’ heads before leading them to 
waiting trucks. (The next day, the gov- 
ernment newspaper published a story re- 
porting the return of the prisoners from 
Dawson, stressing their healthy aspeci— 
as if they had come back from a vacation. 
And there were photographs of the pris- 
oners, taken before the men were hooded.) 
The trucks presently reached a building 


aboard a C-130 woop tr 
iw 


was ili 


pl 


seats aboard the plane. 


somewhere in Santiago; the prisoners 
were made to walk down several sleps 
and were led to a basement room. When 
his hood was removed, Letelier saw that 
there were seven of his fellow prisoners 
with him in the тоот. The building 


turned out to be the Chilean Air Force 
Academy. It and the Tejas Verdes deten- 
Шоп camp had the reputation of being 
the worst torture centers in Chile. Lete- 
lier remained at the Air Force Academy 
from May 8 to July 20. 
LETELIER: We were in a 


basement, 


The tiny windows in the cells were 
boarded up. We lived all the time unde 
artificial light. And the loudspeaker 
never stopped, playing marti 


well 


al son, 


LETELIER: Obviously. The cell was rel- 
atively large, 15 by 18 feet for the eight 
of us. We were blindlolded when guards 
took us to the bathroom. There, we had 
to wait our turn [or a long time а 
a wall. oners there ly 


There were ү 


on the floor. Some prisoners were kept 
standing L blindfolded, 


for two or three days, ш 
At nij 


they 
ght, we often head from. ou 
ns of prisoners being tortured 
cells. And there were women 


in other 
there, too. 
Were you interrogated at the academy? 


LerELIER: Yes. Th sed me of ha 
ing documents pul a the United 
SE ates in. 1973 indicating that the Inte 
Telephone and Telegraph Com- 
d with the CIA in 
Allende plow. ‘They said they had 
proof that I had paid Jack Anderson, the 
У . when I was aml 
sador in Washington, to publish these 
documents. But it happens that 1 have 
never met A 

How did the interrogations work? 

Leretier: As а rule, they tried to pre 
pare prisoners for questioning by isc 
ing them from others; olten we were tied 
to our beds. For example, C 


S 


preparation for questioning. Occasion- 

ally, the guards would untie us when 

п. But what affected 
ing what was 


food was brought 
me the most w: 
pening in the building. And the sci 
tion of knowing that the moment of 
being tortured was approaching! In my 
case, the preparation for being interro- 
gated was brief, just опе day—they had 
me tied to my bed, hooded. Yet, for some 
reason, I was subjected only to psycho- 
logical torture. 

How about your companions? 

LETELIER: There were «егеп types 
of tortures. For example, Pedro Felipe 
Remirez [a friend of Letclies 
electric shock, Pentothal, all that. 
were women whom the guards first raped 


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PLAYBOY 


and then introduced rats 
ginas. You can read abou 
report of the Hum 
of the Organization of American States. 

Were you afraid that they might hurt 
you physically? 

LETELIER: Certainly. But even back at 
Dawson, we discussed tortures with those 
who had undergone them. In the case of 
electric shock, for instance, it was useful 
to scream at a given moment. They al- 
ways had doctors present to prevent 
people from dying. And sometimes a doc- 
tor would say, "No, this man you can go 
on torturing—he isn’t yet about to die 
on you." But on many occasions, people 
did die while they were being tortured. 
us, among ourselves, the prisoners, we 
would tell one another thiugs about tor- 
ture. It increased tensions. this thing of 
discussing tortures all the time. But I 
new that torture sessions seldom lasted. 
тоге than six or seven hours, and ] knew 
I could sta t long. Psychologi 


пѕе for an 
So you prisoners felt that if you could 
prepare yourselves а little, it would be 
easter on you? 
LETELIER: It did help. 


My interroga- 


tions were conducted with the greatest 
violence and insult. They would ask me, 
Are you a homos 


sual? Are you this, are 
you that?” They would talk about your 
wile, your family, trying to destroy you 
psychologically 

Why would they ask you if you were а 
homosexual? 

LETELIER: This is a question they asked 
of most prisoners. My impression is that 
among the torturers, who are psycho- 
paths, there must be quite a few homo- 

uals, Well, this kind of ques ked 
with a great deal of violence, must be 
intended ло produce emotions а 
ce, so that you would siy, у 
you think this of an t have I done 
to deserve this?” They talk to you about 
your youth; they ask, "Do you know so- 
502" ‘They d the subject, then 
they insist again, “How many American 
newspapermen do you know? How about 
the $70,000? And do you know that your 
isa prostitut 

Now, 1 must tell you that there was an 
attitude of classism: Simple workers have 


been tortured in the most brutal manner, 
including persons who were invalids. In 
Punta Arenas, they brutally tortured a 


shoemaker only because he was 
ber of the Communist 1 
think that the worst time 1 spent du 
my whole imprisonment was at the Air 
Force Academy 

Letelier spent two and a half months 
at the Air Force Academy. On July 20, 
1974, he was moved to the Ritoque con- 
centration camp on the Pacific coast, 
some 100 miles north of Santiago. And 
there the governor of the province, who 


186 was im charge of all the concentration 


camps, was Admiral Eberhard, who had 
been Letelier’s naval attaché in Wash- 
ington. The commander of the ай base, 
the man who was direcily responsible for 
the camp, was Colonel Enrique Ruiz, 
who had been his air attaché at the 
Washington embassy. 
What was their reaction to you? 
LETELIER: When I left the embassy the 
previous year 10 become fore 
they offered me a farewell dinner in 
Washington: they spoke of their prati 
ше to me for the way I had treated 
them. Naturally, they sent flowers to my 
wife, the “ambassadress,” and they gave 
me farewell gifts. The next time 1 saw 
them was ас Ritoque concentration 
camp. Once, we were ordered out of our 
cells early in the morning because there 
would be “an important visit" lt was 
Admiral Eberhard, arriving in a heli 
copter. We were lined up to be reviewed 
by him. The admiral asked each prisoner 
what his number was, but when he 
reached me, he asked, "How are you?” I 
replied, “I'm fine.” He asked, “Do you 
need anything?" I said, "No, | dom 
need anything." Then he asked me 
absurd question: “How is your wile?” I 
answered, "Му wile is not very well. How 
is your wife?” He said, “Oh, she's well." 
Did he seem embarrassed? 
LETELIER: 1 couldn't tell you, I 
that these people have developed some 
sort of mental self-justification. As for 
Colonel Ruiz, ame with the 
A 
and said, “Look, I know that your wife 
is well. ГИ be back to talk w 
Some weeks later, Colonel Rui 
the camp again. When we w 
10 line up, Г refused and went back to my 
shack, Ruiz intercepted me and si 


who 


"Look, ] want to talk with you: I hope 
that all this will end soon.” My reply to 
him was very terse and rough, but there 


were no reprisals against me. 
How did you feel about those officers 
whom you knew? 
LETELIER: I thou 
terrified human bei 
умет. 
Did you think they were traitors? 
LETELiER: Yes. I thought they were 
traitors. Traitors to the people of Chile. 
I felt rather superior to them. After all 
these things, one no longer has any fear. 
1 felt that they were more seared than we 
were—and Pm nor jux talhing about 
these two officers—because of all the ter- 
rible things they had done. The repres- 
sion that is being applied in Chile i 
demonstration of weakness. Surely, there 
сап be nobody more cruel than а coward, 
seared man 
Do you think they realized that? 
LeTELIER: Probably. Ev 
the same sergeant who h ted you 
brutally during forced labor would come 
to you and say, “Look, I'm against this 
sort of thing. I'm against those gen 
But you know that l'm married. I can do 


ht that they were 
› the prisoners of 


nothing. 1 have a family. But the licuten- 
ant a fascist.” Soon, the lieutenant 
would come and say, "Look, Senor Lete- 


lier. you hate me, don't you?" Well, I 
wouldn't answer. So he would go on: 


You hate me, but vou must realize 
that I'ma professional, that I have to obey 
orders. 1 have been trained to fight the 
enemy. 1 receive orders from Captain 
Zamora, who is in command here." The 
the captain would come, 
Señor Letelier, surely you t 
these things i 
wa 
nothing against you. I'm үеге it 
the major who gives me orders. But I do 
fewer bad and cruel things than he would 
want me to do. Bur if I didn't obey or 
ders, what do you think would happen 
to me? I would wind up in one of these 
cells as a prisoner." 

Did you believe them? Obeying orders 
is an old story 


LErELIER: There is great terror within 
the armed forces. There is an organiza- 
n, һе DINA, which m 


licutenant. under him belang: 10 DINA 
and is watching him to denounce him if 
he is soft with the prisoners. Thus, they 
live as prisoners of the system of terror 
that exists among them. 

Do you forgive them for their crimes 
because of that terror? 
ELER: No. I don't forgive them. I 
think that there's a level of moral coward- 
ice among them and. collectively. I cannot 
forgive them. But 1 won't tell you that 
all the members of the Chilean armed 
forces are fascists, that all of them are 
Olten, soldiers, when they wi 
not ig watched, nied to show us 
little gestures of humanity. For example, a 
soldier would say to me, "Look, rest a 
itle bit while they aren't watching us." 
And sometimes a soldier would ask vou 
for your autograph, so that later he could 
d been at Dawson, guard- 
ng these terribly dangerous political 


prisoners, as the junta would put it. 

Letelicr was kept at the Ritoque camp, 
one of at least 100 concentration and 
detention camps in Chile, until Septem- 
ber 9, 1974. 


In the evening, camp offi- 


ied me that I would be moved 
car I 
"Lete- 


iately. After getting in a 

d an ollicer say 10 the driver: 

lier is to go to Bustos Street in Sant 
I knew that the Ve Y 
on Bustos Street. J arrived at the Vene- 
з embassy at midnight under b. 
- V guess the junta, which was under 
tremendous international pressure, de- 
cided to m They issued two 
decrees, one liberating me on the grounds 
that there were no charges against me and 
the other expelling me from Chile. 11 
been imprisoned lor 364 days. 


еа 


gestur 


“Tf you don't mind, lll take just the sympathy.” 


187 


PLAYBOY 


188 


HAIR TODAY 


{continued from page 90) 
r in its place. No hair spe- 
Galists recommend them. So what? Spi 


vay of grooming life fo 
nd the newer ones incorporate protein 
protectors, 


‘The real threat of hair sprays is over- 
use. When too much is applied, not only 
does the hair look and feel tacky, the hair 
shaft can be overly coated, contribut 
g to premature breakage. The wick is 
to hold the container at 1 foot away 
from the hair and to direct the mist light- 
ly over the hair, never aiming directly at 


the scalp. 
Like all hi 
should be br 


preparations, 
shed out nightly. Of course, 


sprays 


waking the next morning. you face that 
jal problem—how to get your 


peren 
in shape ар; 


TOOLING AROUND 


Sometimes you feel Ii 
hair our scability problems 
when there really aren't апу. Hair falls 
cording to its growth pattern. When 
you want it to do something it resissi— 
look straight if ivs wavy—what you've 
got dilemma. 

Remember those dayalter- 


e pulling your 


over 


bering 


blues? They most likely occur because the 


barber, completing his styling. employs 
that ubiquitous tool the blow drier. 
Fron 


is elevated van he сап 


perform feats you 


"t hope to achieve 


with a towel and а comb. 
Whether professional or one-hand- 
operated types with clip-on attachments, 


all hand-held driers use heat to relax the 
hair so it can be manipulated into а new 
shape. Since hair's at йз most malleable 


when wet, it tends to hold an "unnatu- 


ral” shape when dried into 

Hair driers should be used with care, 
since they can literally scorch hair. Air 
flow should be directed over the hair and 
the implement should be im constant, 
side-to-side motion. However, before fick- 
ing the drier om, toweldry shampooed 
hair. On top speed, remove most of the 
remaining m. Then the 
speed and style. 

Styling takes ] dexterity gained 
by practice. Ask your barber to demon- 
strate the techniques he uses when final- 
izing your style. If susceptible to scalp 
problems or oily hair, however, be extra 
cautious when using driers. Also, extreme- 
ly сиу or very thick hair can seldom be 
blown dry without appearing either bushy 


reduce 


ure. 


drier junkie to maintain 
npalatable, there is 
st that your bar- 


r style scems 
other alternative. 1 
ber deliver a style that requires no special 
maintenance tricks. Happily, such a style 
will probably be short and casual. “wash 


“But we'll де! our sandals all muddy.” 


CRAZY JOE 


(continued from page 86) 
night clubs where the Colombo dan con- 
gregated. He eve tended а wake at a 
Brooklyn funeral parlor owned by Joe 
Colombo, Sr, and some of his bu: 


associates. И the corpse had suddenly 
jumped out of the casket, the mourners 


could € been more startled t 
they were by the unexpected presence of 
Crazy Joe, He seemed to be daring the 
Colombos 10 try to tag him. 
We heard Joe Gallo 
town, but he never stood 
long enough for us to get 
elli. 


was all over 
in one place 
at him," says 


y expected to find 
him was in a Mulberry Street social club 
several Color 
out, but Joey could always be counted 
on to do the unexpected. 
On a blustery March n 


where 


ht in 1972, 


he swaggered into the club with broth- 
er Albert and two bodyguards, Pete the 
Greek and Roy Roy Musico. 


“This was Joe the Wop's old place," 
Luparelli says. "Joe the Wop was a boss 
nd he died and this guy Georgie took 
over the place. He's no boss or nothing. 
He just bough the place. 

“Joe Gallo walked in like he owned 
the joint. He didn't have а gun on him, 
se he was on parole, but his brother 
nd bodyguards all showed guns. There 
lot of people there, drinking and 
ng cards, Joe Curly, Frankie the 
nd other guys. 

“Joey went up to Georgie and ordered 
inks for everybody. Georgie was dying 
10 get away from him. because he figured 
any minute a couple of Colombos would 
me in ! bullets ald be Ву 

“Joe Gallo started. shooting off his 
mouth, talking loud and me don't 
give a shit about no Colombos. I'll kill 
anybody who's in my way.” 

“Frankie the Bug tied to qui 
down. Everybody stopped play 
and looked at him. И they had any re- 
spect 1 for Joe Yack, they would 
have killed him right there, but nobody 
done nothing. 

"Georgie told Sonny Pinto about it 
later and Sonny told Joe Vack. Yack said: 
"Those assholes. The 
D 
him away. 

March was a very busy month for Cr 
Joc. He married Sina Essary, 
brown-haired divorcee he had first met i 
the elevator of the Huth Street apartment 
house where they both were living. 

On Saturday night. March 18, Joey 
. his mom and his sister to 
ht dub in Mincol 
er Jimmy Ro- 


ct hi 
rds 


selli. They were nied by bod: 
guards Pete the Greek and Bobby 
Darrow. 7 an was considered 


Colombo territory: one of its unoffic 


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owners reportedly wa: 
John "Sonny" Fran: 
time for bank robbery. 

About an hour after the Gallo party 
ived, several other President Street pis- 
toleros cà in and were ed on the 
opposite side of the club. The presence 
of such a Gallo turnout caused 
speculation that Jocy was casing the club 
in preparation for a take-over attempt. It 
wouldn't be the first Colombo enter 
he had muscled into since his parole. 

. 

Jocy may have convinced his bride that. 
he was going straight, but the cops and 
mobst who knew him best never had 
the slightest doubt that his ultimate goal 
was the same as it had always been—to 


Colombo capo 
, who was serving 


be the richest racketeer in town, Under 
the fresh layers of culture. and respect- 
abil Топ Udo was alive and well. 


on Thursday even 
sixth. Pete the Greek and Darrow 
home to Hih Street and lelt 
& u's ten-year-old daugh- 
1 gone to the theater, so the bride 
and groom dined alone. 

Jocy's sister, Carmella Fiorello, brought 
a home around 11 o'clock. Around the 
same time, Pete the Greek. arrived at the 
sallo apartment with a date, Edie Russo, 

ow. 
1 decided to go uptown to the 
to celebrate Jocy's birthday 
and see Don Rickles, the acid-tongued 
ic 

The three men, three women and Lisi 
climbed into a black Cadillac and drove 
to 60th Sirect, The Copa maitre de 
greeted them like visiting royalty and ush- 
cred them to the best table in the house, 

Rickles had once worked at a club 
owned by Joe and Larry Gallo. After the 
second show, the comedian went over 10 
Jocy's table, sat down and started talking 
about old times. Nightclub c 
Earl Wilson and his secretary also joined 
the party and drank a champagne toast 
10 the birthday boy. 

When they left the Copa shortly after 
four A, Joey told Darrow to tike 
Wilsows secretary home cab. That 
left Gallo with only опе bodyguard. Jocy. 
Pete the Greck, the three women. and 
Lisa got into the Caddy and cruised 
downtown to Mulberry Street for a late 
snack, but Luna's was closed 

The only place open was а new s 
food restaurant, Umberto's Clam He 
"Let's ry it,” Joey said 

While the Gallo party was at the Copa, 
Luparelli had dropped into King Wah, a 
Chinese restaurant оп Mulbe few 
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nt, formerly a Mob social club, was 
4 by Richard Pallatto and his Chi- 

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exotic than their neighborhood hangouts. 

Sonny Pinto was at the bar with Philip. 
t Fungi" Gambino, a corpulent ex- 
con who was on parole. Luparelli had a 
couple of drinks with them, then walked 
up the strect to Umberto's Clam House, 
on the corner of Mulberry and Hester. 
Umberto's was the latest link in the 
chain of dining and drinking establish- 
ments owned by Matty the Horse. It was 
run by his two brothers. 

A small, white-w 
with a dozen butcher-block 
er type of counter, it was so new that 
it didn't have a lice 
beverages. Fish n 
servers decor 
"Мапу the Horse м 
who owned the down the block, 
another guy, Charley,” Luparelli says. 
“We were talking when we heard a com- 
motion outside. Johnny the Ice Man was 
guing with a uniformed cop. We went 
out to look, Then who drives up in a big 
black Cadillac but Joe Gallo and Pete 
the Greek. They had some women with 
them. 

“I never knew there was a kid in there. 
1 only seen them two and the women, I 
never seen the kid. As soon as J saw who 
was in the car, I turned my head so 
Gallo and the Greek couldn't get ahold 
of my face. They both knew me from 
before and 1 figured maybe Pete the 
Greek knew I'm with Joe Yack. 

“Joe opens the Cadillac and s 
"How's the s ny good 

“Matty says, "Yeah. Pretty 

“He wasn't so anxious for Gallo to go 
in there, but he didn’t want to say any- 
thing that would ma 1. 1 turned 


PLAYBOY 


ays, 


food, 


good.’ 


back and went down to King Wah. 
Pinto and Fat Fungi аге still there. 

“I said, "Guess who's in the clam 
house: 

"Sonny says, ‘Who? 

“Un Paz [a nickname derived from 
the Italian words un рассо, the crazy one]. 
Un Paz is there. 

"Sonny says, "Who Un Paz? 


“I says, ‘Joe байо in there with Pete 
the Gre 

“Sonny says, “That son of a bitch. He's 
got some nerve, coming into the neigh- 
borhood а c. We're going to load 
up and we m now. Well 
whack h 


and F 


gi while Luparelli was at Um- 


berto’s. Luparclli knew them only as 
Cisco and Benny. brothers who were in 
headed by Franzese. 


iving dr 
the ley 


lato 
out to get guns. While they were gone, 
Luparelli inquired what his role in the 
whack-out would be. As he was walking 
190 with the aid of a cane, he couldn't do 


anything that required fleet footwork. 

‘All I want you to do is drive one of 
the cars" Sonny said. "I don't want 
Fungi to do nothing, neither. He's out 
on parole." 

The brothers and Pallatto returned 
with four guns—two .38s, a .32 and a 
22-caliber automatic. One of the broth- 
«тз offered the .22 to Luparel 
declined to accept it, because 
so rusty І was aid it might blow up 
in my hand if 1 squeezed the trigger.” 
you don't need a gun," Sonny said. 

with the ^ 


һе Gallo party had been 
table at the rear of the 
1 few leet from the side door 
Gallo was sitting 


aurant, 
on Mulbeny Street. 
between his bodygu 
lacing the wall. Oppo 
between. Lis 


them 
to the restaurant. He sat on a stool at 


Horse had followed 


the far end of the counter, near the 
kitchen, with his broad back to the Gallo 
party. After glancing at the menu, Gallo 
shouted at the nervous restamateu 
ty, order for us, will you? You 
"s good here.” 
ied the cook, then or- 
imp and scungilli salad all 
around. Gallo liked it so much that, when 
it was gone, he called for another serv 
He and his companions washed down the 
seafood with soft drinks and coffee. They 
were hallway through the second round 
of shrimp and scungilli when two cars 
pulled up outside. 

“We could see Joe Gallo and his family 
i Luparelli says. “1 
the women were. 1 


dered sh 


on the side,” 


ht they was just broads, 

"Pino parked his car right outside the 
restaurant. | swung my car around to 
block off the intersection of Hester and 
Mulberry, We cach used our own cars. 

“Cisco and Benny w 
Fungi was with m 
brothers went in the side door on Mul- 
berry Street and started firing at Gallo. 

Besides the Gallo group, ten other 
persons were in the restaurant when the 

1 entered—seven customers, а 
waiter, the cook and Matty the Horse, 
When the shooting started, they all hit 
the deck. Customers dived under tables 
nd chairs. The waiter and cook sought 
refuge behind the counter, Matty ran 

nto the kitchen and threw himself face 
onto the floor, covering his head 
hands. 

Pete the Greek, on Gallo's lelt and 
closest to the side door, was the first to 
sce Pinto come in. As he turned his head 
Joev, he heard Sonny shout, 
motherfucker!” and the roar of 
gunfire as Sonny and the brothers began 
their barrage 

Pete the 


“Die 


Sreek tied to draw his own 


gun, a .25- tomatic, but he had 
g it out of his pocket and 
the same time. Instinc- 
tively, he ducked and a bullet slammed 
him to the floor, 

Two bullets tore through Gallo's back. 
One struck his spine; the other severed 
one of the two main arteries to his brain, 
He jumped ир, knocked over the heavy 
table and staggered through the restau- 
nt to the front door. A third bullet 
hit him as he reached the street and two 
morc pierced his clothes without touching. 
his body. He had almost made it to his 
Cadillac when he toppled over in the 
street and died. 

Pete the Greck got shot in the ass 
when he ducked under the table. He 
wasn't supposed to duck, but he did. 
Then everybody came runn 
Sonny and the brothers jumped i 
ys саг. Pete the Greek сате out the 
le door and fired at the three of them. 
They fired back as they drove away,” 
Luparelli says. 

Matty the Horse was still sprawled оп 
the kitchen floor, Thinking he had ar- 
nged the ambush, Pere the Greek 
auled him to his [cei 
"How could you do this in front of 
wile id?” Pete demanded. 

1 didn't have nothing to do with it,” 
Matty insisted. 

Luparelli and Fat Fungi were watching 
from their car. They had a clear view 
of the restaurant kitchen from the open 
side door. 

“Pete the Greck pulled his pistol and 
stuck it in €," Luparelli says. 
“He kept pulling the trigger—dick, dick. 
click. Matty thought he was dead, but the 
ип Wits empty. 

Me and Fungi saw Joc Gallo come 
out the front door and stumble and fall 
in the middle of Hester Street, n 
diac. Pinto and the two brothers г 
out after him and took off when they 
a drop. Then Gallo's sister and. wi 
and the kid came out. They were all 


Pete heard the screams and realized, 
for the first time, that his boss was dead. 

"Pete the Greek came out, shoving 
Matty the Horse in front of him for a 
shield. When he seen the body, he let 
go of Matty and ran to Joe Gallo, Then 
Pete the Greck fainted, right there on 
the street.” 


. 

After casually carrying out the Gallo 
contract, Pinto and his helpers went 
back to King Wah and resumed their 
drinking, as if nothing һай happened. 
Luparelli and Fat Fungi joined them 
there а few minutes late 
пу d 
thing," Luparelli says. 
he was. When F gi and 1 met him 
п King Wah, Sonny said he wanted to 
stay there awhile, He wanted to drink 
some more. I said, ‘Sonny, we can't stay 
here. We've got to get out of here. In a 


his own di 


па every- 
That's how crazy 


utes, there'll be cops all over the 


arca. 
Sonny didn't think 


othing of what 
ust done. That's how he was. 
it any real plan when it hap- 
pened. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing. 
Sonny just decided 10 do it there and 
then while we had the chance. 

“He told the two brothers to get rid 
of the guns. We dropped the brothers off 
at Center. Market and. Grand. Street. on 
the corner below police headquarters. 
‘Then we drove Sonny's car down to Li 
fayeue Street and. put it in front of h 
mother's place. It had a flat tire. One of 
Pete the Greck's bullets must have hit the 
tire, so now we decided to use my car. 

"Pinto lay down on the back seat 
nap while I drove up to Nyac 
i sat up front next to me. We 
got to Nyack around six, six-thirty in the 
morning. Joe Yack was asleep. He got 
up and came ro the door when we 1 
the bell.” 

“Who's there?” Yack asked Irom behind 
the door. 

“Joe Pah” sid Lupa 
ick name. 

arc you doing here at this 


па 


elli, using his 


"We got him," 
him. 

Yack opened the door. When he saw 
the Mulberry Street trio on his threshold, 
he didn't know what to think. Everybody 
rted talking at once, 


Fungi said. “We got 


Yack said. "Slow 
y nothing out in the hall 
‚ where people might be listenin 
Let's go inside.” 

Thes all went inside 
chain lock on the doa 
svulfeur-bod 


d Yack put the 
п he turned 


“I checked in 


the mirror. There w: 


‘OK, now tell me the story. 
rd what had happened, 
hed with excitemen 


relli say 
for a killing. 

le said to Sonny, In my heart, I 
knew you were the one who'd kill that 
son of a bitch he asked who else 
1 told him, ‘Matty, the cook, 
ners, a couple of broads, Pete 


was the 
a few custa 


said, ‘I didn’t see nobody but 
АИ Т saw Tuck's face 


s initial elation was replaced 
by а worried look. He started firii 
questions at his impulsive henchmen. 
Jow do you know he's de 

‘Well, we hit him," Sonny replied. 
“We musta hit him а few And 


Esos 


“I don't know. I don't th 
“Why ain't he dead? 
“Well, maybe he is. We shot at him, 

too. He fell on the floor. He must have 

been hit, too.” 
“You beuer pra 

‘ouble. 

he's still alive, he 


y he's dead. If he ain't, 
Sonny, listen to me. 1f 
1 be locked up and by 
accident—accidentally on. purpose—he'll 
spill who done it. He'll tell it to some- 
body. They'll tell somebody else. Word 
will be out that you're the gu 
ed about the women 
know your faces. Pete 
the Greek is die only one who could 
you, Jesus Christ, if only vou guys I 
killed him, everything would be all 
right.” 

Yack switched on the 


radio. tuned in 


an allnews station and told his men to 
keep quict. They all sat down near the 
radio and listened until they he: 


bulletin: “Joe Gallo, head of Bre 
notorious С was reported shot 
arant in M 
Police are investigat- 
5 will bc 
lable." 


inounced. 


ad their minds 
guy." Luparelli re- 
the door, stumbled 


п Hester Street. 
nd 


ad fell flat on his face 
Fungi and I saw him. He went down 
he didn't move. We thought he hi 
You thought? Why the hell didu't you 
sure? He could still be alive. If 
alive, we're gonna have to go i 
d and kill n there. 
people 
and ki 
In, the drinks a 
it oll and, as the 
iline levels. dropped, 
ers suddenly felt exhausted. 
elli says, “Pinto lay down on the 
ad went 1o sle 
ug 


couch 
down on the 
and ted n 
quiet. 


in front of the radio. 
Then the news fash cume—]oe 
Gallo is dead. 


Fungi and Sonny jumped up. 
ody started feeling good арай 
issed Sonny Pinto on the mouth 


We 


Joe Luparelli later learned that. Joe 
Yack wanted to have him killed. He fled 
to Santa Ana, California he 
turned himself in as a Federal informant. 
He now lives somewhere in the United 
States with a false identity under the De- 
partment of Justice's Witness Protection 


Program, 


where 


“Contrary to the popular view, 
our studies show that it is real life thal contributes 
to violence on television." 


191 


© їонпе@1976 


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192 — 


ON: THE 


с=с ENE 


HABITAT. 


RETURN OF THE CAVE MAN 


la même chose. Today, man has again picked up on 

the idea, as witness this pair of mirror-image bach- 
elor beach houses that architect William Morgan recently 
had carved into dunes at Atlantic Beach, Florida. Each of 
the twin pads is constructed of Gunite, a smooth, stone- 
free concrete that's shot from a gun into a mold. And be- 
cause each of the sliding-door oceanside entrances has a 
massive expanse of glass, the air-conditioned 750-square- 


s we all know, man’s earliest choice for shelter was 
probably a nice cozy cave. Plus ça change, plus c'est 


foot interiors are literally washed with light, the upstairs 
being an open bedroom balcony overlooking the g 
room. Most of the pad's furnishings are built in; behind 
the L-shaped living-room couch is a full-sized kitchen, 
plus a washer-drier. Interior acoustics are perfect for 
a hi-fi and, yes, there's wall-to-wall carpeting for shoes- 
off loafing. Furthermore, mother earth acts as a natural 
insulator, keeping the rooms cool in summer and warm in 
winter (they're electrically heated besides). And now 
the price: about $25,000 per unit. Head for the sand hills! 


Behind each of the oceanside entrances, shown above, awaits a plush living room and kitchen , 


t. The stairway leads to the bedroom balcony—a portion of which is shown below 
Two views of the pad's rear (front?) entrance, including a private terrace. 


left. Below ri 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL MARIS 


193 


194 


MAKING OUT. 


OR, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR? 


aturday night. Date night. You are home alone, watch- 

ing the tube, Suddenly, the man from Ultrabrite 

comes on and asks, “How’s your love life, turkey?” 

Rather than trash another television set, you switch 
channels to a rerun of A Streetcar Named Desire. With 
immaculate timing, Blanche DuBois answers the adman. 
“| have always depended upon the kindness of strangers.” 
Sure. A few moments later, Blanche is carted away to 
the funny farm. Serves her right. 

Every male in America knows the myth of the kind 
woman, the zipless fuck. If things get really bad, just stand 
on a street corner and proposition every female who passes 
by. Nine out of ten prospects will ignore you, insult you, 
beat you over the head with a large purse or spray you with 
Mace. The tenth will show pity, follow you 
home and lick your wounds. (A little lower. 
Ah, yes.) The tactic has a certain reckless 
appeal. You may get lucky and connect 
on your first try. Oh, sweet possibility. 

Then again, you may get arrested, 
or mugged by the Moonie who had 
staked out that particular corner as 
his turf. Throwing yourself on the 
mercy of the crowd is at best a last 
resort, something one tries before 
moving on to poultry and barnyard 
animals. It is an impossible dream, 
with almost no chance of success. 
Believe me; | know. A few weeks 
ago, out of curiosity or acute horni- 
ness, | asked one question of every 
woman 1 saw: How did you meet 
the man you are currently dating? 

Needless to say, none had met 

her boyfriend on a street comer. 
The tall, dark stranger who dazzles 
women into submission is a fiction. 
If you think you can score by dress- 
ing in killer dothes, strutting the 
right moves, driving the sleekest 
car or wearing the perfect cologne, 
you're wasting your time. It doesn't 
happen that way. 

A few women confessed to 
spontaneous affairs, but they also 
indicated that the momentum developed out of a shared 
experience—a train ride, an auction of antique furniture, 
a concert, a ski vacation. The vast majority met their com- 
panions through more permanent irnstitutions—work, 
school, neighborhood, etc. Interest and intimacy take time 
to develop (dark alleys excepted). Any situation that nar- 
rows the field and creates a common ground facilitates 
the mating process. Even then, most couples need help, a 
catalyst. Most of the women | talked with first noticed 
their partners at parties given by mutual acquaintances. 
We depend on the kindness of friends. 

Remember high school? Your best pal was someone who 
would act as a go-between, a matchmaker. The ally who 
brought in plays from the side lines. Well, what worked 
in high school works in real life. For example, one young 
lady admitted that she and her boyfriend paired off as 
the result of a practical joke. "We had seen each other 
at plays, bars and concerts, but nothing clicked. Then 


a friend of ours decided we were meant for each other. He 
told him, ‘Hey, she craves your body. She's literally cream- 
ing in her pants over you.’ Then he told me, ‘He admires 
your mind. Is it true you read Nabokov in Russian? Would 
you consider spending the weekend together?’ Our reac- 
tions were identical: ‘Who am I to deny my public? If it 
means that much. . . ’ We dated for three months—each 
thinking the other was hopelessly in love—before we dis- 
covered the ruse. By then, it was too late. The bluff had 
become reality. For the past eight years, we've been trying 
to figure out a suitable revenge for the instigator of this 
affair.” 

Associates often serve as talent scouts. If you are shy, 
get_to know someone who isn’t. Work as a roadie for a 

rock-'n'-roll star. Befriend Warren Beatty or Bert 
Parks—chaps who meet more women than 
they know what to do with. More than 
one woman told me that her best 
friend had been a friend of a friend. 
Certain individuals have a knack 

for discovering quality. І recall a 

freaked-out dude named Fred the 
Head who achieved a reputation 
during the early Seventies as a hu- 
man divining rod for primo dope. 
Seems that one day he had a taste 
for something fine and saw God or 
Raquel Welch nude—and was nev- 
er the same. He spent the rest of. 
his life looking for more of the 
same illegal substance. Never 
found it, but the stuff he turned 
down was more than enough to 
satisfy most mortals. People began 
to follow him around, to pick up 
on what he left behind. 

So, what do you do if you've 
strip-mined your social circle and 
you are looking for new faces? 
Don't despair. Friends can still be 
of use. One girl disclosed that she 
discovered a lover while walking 
on a beach. "| saw a man lean 
down to kiss a woman and thought 
to myself, | want that. | wasn't 

going to intrude, so ! went home and asked around until 1 
found someone who knew someone who knew the man." 
A meeting was arranged. The guy didn't stand a chance. 

No one is a complete stranger. It is no surprise that the 
question most frequently asked of new faces is "Do you 
know .. . ?" We seek connections. References. According 
to an MIT study, "There is better than a 50-50 chance that 
any two people can be linked up with two intermediate 
acquaintances.” 

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., describes these informal networks in 
Cat's Cradle: "Humanity is organized into teams, teams 
that do God's Will without discovering what they are doing. 
Such a team is called а karass. . . . If you find your life 
tangled up with somebody else's life for no very logical 
reasons, that person may be a member of your karass.”” 

It makes sense: Friends can get you through times of no 
sex better than sex can get you through times of no friends. 

— JAMES R. PETERSEN 


ILLUSTRATION BY ROBERT GOLDSTROM 


GADGETS 


Air Apparent 

Above: When things go flat, try a portable 
air compressor with four adapters and con- 
nector hose, all of which work off an auto- 
mobile’s cigarette lighter, by Webster, $36.95. 


Have a Good Time 

Below: This contemporary bronze acrylic 
grandfather clock with a polished-chrome 
frame and a Plexiglas face features an elec- 
tronic solid-state digital movement and 
large diode readout; measures 56” x 13” x 
10”, by Howard Miller Clock Company, $635. 


Numbers, Please 
Left: The Sover 


And the Beat Goes On 

Above: Designed by Josh Reynolds, the 
Pacer is a crazy bracelet biofeedback device 
that pulses to your heartbeat, by Collage- 
gold, $11. Wear it to see if you're still alive. 


Sound Investment 

Above left: The Bolex 5120 Sound Macro- 
zoom Super-8 movie camera, distributed by 
Ehrenreich Photo-Optical Industries, offers 
a variety of focal lengths ranging from 6mm 
(wide-angle) to 72mm (telephoto), $640, 
plus $49.50 for the removable boom mike. 


Let It Snow! 
Above: If you're sick and tired of losing 
your Heads or Harts every season to some 
sticky-fingered ski bum, get yourself a Ski 
Tote—a lightweight plastic carrier for both 
poles and skis that doubles as a virtually 
ing device opened by a 
jt combination number, by Covell 
Enterprises, $19.95, in yellow, red or blue. 


ign calculator measures only 54” x 1%” x Ж", performs all regular math- 


ematical functions, plus percentages, square roots, memory and more, by Sinclair, $100 
in satin-brushed chrome; $175 in 18-kt. gold electroplate (both prices include batteries). 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARO IZUI 


195 


GRAPEVINE 


Sylvester Stallone wrote and plays 
the title role in Rocky, an upbeat 
prize-fight movie that's a good bet to 
make him a major star. “I came up 
with the idea for Rocky out of des- 


Sylvester's Rocky Road to Stardom 


would show the better sides of me, dramatic and 
physical. I've got exceptionally broad shoulders. 
My arms were 1672 inches around when | was 16. 
1 looked like an unemployed gladiator. | wanted to 
use my body while I still had a body. 1 chose the 


SASHA STALLONE 


Learning Fast 


She's just about the hottest actress in movies, with three big ones— 
Marathon Man, Black Sunday and Bobby Deerfield —onscreen or due 
хооп, but Swiss-born Marthe Keller, 30, is not interested in a new 
ilm role: “I'm looking for a play.” she told us over the phone. 

Something by Chekhov, Ibsen, Strindberg, so I'd have an excuse for 
the accent. Right now, I need a rest irom movies; after making nine 
films in the past two and a half years, 1 fee! like an old car that needs 


peration. After The Lords of Flat- 
bush, nobody was offering me 
anything other than TV 
thugs, overgrown fuel- 
injected juvenile de- 
linquents and neo- 

phyte rapists. 1 
was about 


а 
z 


fight game to write about because it appeals to 
the common man. | thought, Shit, we can make 
this into kind of a muscular, poetic, savage ballet. 
But I had a lot of seli-doubts before filming began. 
1 had talked a good game for years. And now here 
was the big opportunity to display whatever talent 
1 had. I wondered whether | would be an abysmal 
failure as an actor and my career would end. 1 
thought, Someone has laid out $1,000,000, Stallone, 
оп some idea you had late at night and put on 
Paper. Now, can you live up to your abilities? Well, 


to 
turn 30 and | 
knew time 
was running 


out. So 1 I think I did. People аге now comparing me to а 
decided to lot of big stars. Yet it's a tragedy, in a sense, be- 
work out cause, as a writer, | won't be able to go out and 

a formu- study people closely. I'm losing that privilege of 
la that being anonymous.” Lose a few, win a few. 


a new battery.” We'll bet she gets what she wants. Blonde, green- 
eyed Marthe is a charming but determined young woman—she 
refused, for example, to marry director Philippe de Broca, the father 
ої her five-year-old son, Alexandre, and most recently taught herseli 
to speak English in two months. How did she learn so quickly? “I 
forced myseli to speak it. 1 listened to people, watched TV, read 
every newspaper | could find, went to films and listened to the 
dialog. When | began Marathon Man, | didn't know one word. Well, 
1 could say hello. Now 1 can say goodbye, too.” And she did. 


NORMAN SEEFF 


California Demon 


Out in the Golden State, where it takes all kinds to fill the 
freeways, a growing minority has reared its frightening head. 
Two young film makers, Walter Parkes, 25 (right), and Keith 
Critchlow, 31, have documented the rebirth of the American 
Nazi Party in The California Reich. Onscreen, children joy- 
fully squeal that they hate “niggers and Jews," a Nazi Santa 
Claus passes out presents, wives bake Nazi cakes, the men 
show off their gun collections. "The people we filmed reflect 
mainstream frustrations,” Parkes says. "Keith and | developed 
a kind of empathy with them. They're ordinary Americans, 
and that’s the frightening part. They are men, women and 
children who could live next door." But Parkes adds, “I hope 
they don’t live next door to me.” 


The Big Score 


Last November, Curtis Mayfield spent a month in jail. 
Not as punishment: Curtom, his Chicago-based com- 
pany, went into moviemaking with Miguel Pinero's 
prize-winning play, Short Eyes. It was filmed in a New 
York prison, with Curtis making his acting debut 

("1 told them 1 know how to lie good") in a 

career that began when he dropped out of 

school at 13 to help form the Impressions, 
shifted gears when he became a solo artist in 
1970 and again in 1972, when he wrote the 
music for Super Fly, the top-selling film score 
ever, which he followed with Claudine, 
Let's Do It Again and Sparkle. When his 
oldies are heard on the radio, his kids 

i don't believe it's he. And they're right: 
TODO SMITH rn “It seems like every ten years you be- 
с come another person. So you have 

/* to take inventory and discard what is 
not needed. The important thing is to 
be able to continue." 


м 
CHUCK ROGERS 


Hotter than Kotter 


John Travolta, who plays Vinnie Barbarino on TV's Welcome Back, Kotter, could 
be this year’s Teen Idol. He is also a talented, dedicated actor. Director Brian de 
Palma called the 23-year-old "truly gifted” after his performance in Carrie; Travolta's 
third film, Tribal Rites of the New Saturday Night, starts shooting this month. He 
played in Grease on Broadway before Kotter and he'll star in the movie version. 
And his records are smashes. Says Travolta, “I'm quite pleased with my career.” 
If you think that sounds a little smug, do you get 10,000 fan letters a month? 


197 


m 


TRAVEL 
RENT -A- 


DREAM 


f you are slightly antisocial, as I try to be, but your 

Northern ass in February gets just as cold as anyone 

else's, traveling to the Caribbean to warm it up can 

be a problem. You know cruise ships are out after you've 
seen your first desperate mob erupt from one and engulf a 
defenseless little West Indian town. 

Even the hot-shot resorts can get a little too chummy— 
not to say expensive—and they definitely put you on their 
schedule. If you decide to swill rum and tell lies half the 
night and sleep until 11 or so, goodbye, break- 
fast—which you pay for, anyway. And in 
many places, dinner is done like high- 
dudgeon summer camp, one seat- 
ing, long dresses and jackets 
for the gentlemen preferred. 
And too bad for you if you're 
not fascinated by hearing 
how the fellow from 
Phoenix sitting across 
from you made a real 
killing in artificial turf. 

The way to avoid the 
story of his life, and 
still get that West 
Indian tan, is to rent a 
villa. Is not only a 
more individual, gra- 
cious way to go; it can 
actually cost less. Villas 
are available on almost 
every island you'd care 
to visit. Most are owned 
by people around the 
world who have more mon- 
ey than time and who pick up 
spare change by renting them 


out when they can't be there 
themselves—which is often most of 
the year. 


Try, for instance, this little winter place 
called Mango Bay, on Barbados, as described in the 
realtor's brochure: 


А coral stone superior beach house in the Palladian 
style . , . on a lovely beach and standing on over an 
acre of beautifully laid-out gardens, with a swimming 
pool on the south terrace. On the first floor, two air- 
conditioned bedrooms, each with bathroom, large liv- 
ing room, TV room, dining room, covered and open 
patios, butler’s pantry and kitchen. On the second 
floor, two large air-conditioned bedrooms, each with 
bathroom, open onto a large patio. The house is very 
well furnished and tastefully decorated. 


I've seen it; it's better than that. It rents in season for 
$2600 a week—but that includes cook, two maids, butler 
and laundress. If you and your Significant Other spent the 
week down the beach at the elegant Sandy Lane resort, at 
$180 a day, plus trifles, you would part with about $1400. 
But three or four couples can easily stay at places like 
Mango Bay without driving one another crazy; and for 
eight people, the rent comes to $93 a day per couple. 
For six, it is about $120 a day per couple. Not cheap, 


198 and you do have to find five people who aren't into 


artificial turf, but after that, it's as good as your imagination. 

In most cases, rent doesn't include liquor or food. But 
once you stock up, the bar is always open. And every day 
your cook will buy fresh food and prepare whatever you 
want—within reason. 

If your taste, circle of friends or wallet doesn't run 
toward beachside Taj Mahals with servants scurrying 
around, there are rental houses on most islands to be had 
for $300 a week in season—and sometimes much less. At 

the low end, you do, indeed, get what you pay 
for; but for $250 a week, how bad does 
this, on tiny Montserrat, sound? 


parr HOUSE Above Woodlands 
Beach with 120-degree view of 
Caribbean. Cooled by trade 
winds. Tropical forested 
mountains in rear. Three 
bedrooms and three 
baths. Living/dining 
combination with sepa- 
rate kitchen. Covered 
terraces with view of 
Redonda, St. Kitts 
and Nevis. 


In general, the most- 
traveled islands—St. 
Martin, Barbados, Ja- 
maica—have the most 

rentals and offer the 
most variety, ranging from 
genuine palaces to spare 
stucco cottages a long way 
from the beach. Rentals on 
smaller, less-visited islands such 
as Montsemat or Nevis tend, 
naturally, to be fewer and are large- 
ly less fancy; but to lure you their way, 
the rents are often scaled considerably 

lower, as well. 

The gems on each island are sometimes staked out in 
high season for years to come. So it pays to begin checking 
well in advance of your trip. But you should remember that 
even though the Caribbean is just as nice in the summer, 
not as many go there; so some of these places sit around 
empty then and, because of that, they rent for about half 
of what they cost in winter. 

Finding the one for you is easier than you'd expect. If 
you're still really shopping around, several agencies handle 
bookings for more than one island. The largest is probably 
Caribbean Home Rentals (28 Highwood Avenue, Tenafly, 
New Jersey 07670); it has listings in Mexico and in the 
Mediterranean, as well. Another good one is At Home 
Abroad (136 E. 57th Street, New York, New York 10022). 

If you've already settled on where it will be, you'll prob- 
ably do as well by writing directly to the tourist board 
representing the island or its group. In some cases, the 
tourist board will send you up-to-date listings of what's 
available; and if not, it will refer you to local realtors. 

For those of you who'd like a selected list of agencies, 
tourist boards and realtors, send a stamped, self-addressed 
envelope to Playboy On the Scene, Playboy Building, 919 
N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611—апа we'll 
send you one free. — DAVID STANDISH 


ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN CRAIG 


BEHAVIOR 


LOOK, MA, NO HANDS 


he brain may be a good machine, but even the best 

models get circuit overloads and fail from time to 

time. Think (if you can concentrate that long) about 

Einstein, visions of relativity dancing in his mind, 
while his mental homing mechanism went through fail-safe 
a couple of times and left him wandering around the park 
until his legs gave out. 

Well, there’s help on the way for those dangerously 
overloaded circuits. Eventually, we may have computers 
designed to read our mind and do things for us, or read our 
mind for someone who wants to do things to us. 

Specialists in our society could be linked to computers 
that kicked in with relief and responsibility as the human 
brain faded out. A pilot, for example, could be hooked into 
a computer that scanned and read his brain waves, giving 
him a sharp rap in the temporoparietal if his attention 
wandered far enough to throw his 747 into a nose dive. 
Unlike a simple alarm, the computer could respond pre- 
cisely, discerning whether the pilot just lost track while 
ogling a stewardess or was diving to get out of the path 
of another aircraft. 

In the same way, air-traffic controllers at a busy airport 
could be monitored constantly and difficult tasks could 
be assigned to the most attentive. 

Such transistorized relief is being brought to us by the 
Pentagon, which, of course, had other things in mind (such 
as spying and precision bombing) when commissioning the 
studies that led to it. The whole effort is part of a research 
plan sponsored by the Defense Advanced Research Projects 
Agency at about $1,000,000 a year since 1973. Scientists at 
half a dozen universities and laboratories have been 
conducting experiments designed to link human brain 
waves with computers and have come up with incredible 
possibilities. 

One is figuring out what we're thinking. Given time and 
the means of comparison, scientists can plot our brain 
waves on a graph and determine if we're preoccu- 
pied (as with that 747 pilot), tired, angry or con- 
fused. Right now, the impulses, or waves, must be 
picked up and transferred by electrodes attached 
to the scalp, then fed to a computer. 

But we flash magnetic waves just like the electri- 
cal ones now being studied. Devices to chart mag- 
netic brain waves without touching or telling us 
are under investigation at MIT. 

Shades of Big Brother? Will our brains be picked 
surreptitiously? Probably not, say the scientists, be- 
cause we must cooperate in establishing a base-line 
graph for comparison, since the patterns for each 
person are different. The computer must see our nor- 
mal brain waves first to recognize them as confused 
at another time. Still, science is constantly outdoing 
itself and, eventually, the new technology could be 
everyman's weapon against the complicated and 
uncontrollable living conditions that buffet him so 
mercilessly now. Consider facing your bleary-eyed, 
fast-talking surgeon with the power of a brain- 
scanning computer behind you. It could test the im- 
pulses given off by that mass of gray, martini-soaked 
hoses and tell him to take the week off without 
pay. Wouldn't it be reassuring to be able to go into 
open-heart surgery certain that the masked man 
with the knife was toward the top of his bell-curve 
performance rating that day? 


The studies open up one other awesome prospect. 
Our brain may begin doing something other than harbor 
neuroses and dream up fast-buck schemes. It could start 
to orchestrate machinery. Researchers at UCLA have identi- 
fied and isolated brain waves that tell our body what to do. 
By running those messages through a computer, they could 
have machinery do it, instead. 

Naturally, the experiments involve a mouse—an electric 
one in a maze projected on a television screen. A small 
compuler notes a subject's visual concentration on one of 
four directional arrows and moves the mouse accordingly. 
The success rate is 97 percent when the computer is oper- 
ating correctly. 

With present technology alone, researchers say they 
could now design a helmet with electrode contacts for 
quadriplegics, who then could maneuver specially equipped 
wheelchairs strictly with brain impulses and eye movements 
read by a computer. 

And fliers could pilot aircraft without touching a switch. 
Like that 747 jockey. Imagine him in that nose dive and 
pinned to the back of his seat by g forces strong enough to 
weight his hands to his sides. Ordinarily, all he could do 
would be to try to remember the Lord’s Prayer; but with 
a computer-linked helmet, he could direct the plane with 
mental commands. 

That takes us back to our original problem, the mind 
behind the machine. It may not be able to do anything right. 
Recently, there was a story about an experimental ejection 
seat triggered by a look. Brilliant idea, but the best test 
pilots in the world couldn't resist glancing at the triggering 
device at least once during the flight. Once was enough, 
because the machine responded by tossing the pilot un- 
ceremoniously out of the plane. It’s enough to make a 
respectable brain-scanning computer mind its own business. 

—DENNIS TROUTE 


2 
а 
g 
Ё 
Š 


199 


200 


SPORTIN' WOMEN 

Lithe, limber, athletic women are so erotic. Especially 
when every healthy curve is enhanced by skintight leotards 
as they stretch, pump and spread their lissome legs during 
exercise. Acrobatic females always seem to know all the 
right positions. But are they as sportive in the sack as they 
are on the track? 

Marlene Bene, manager of the United States Gymnastics 
Federation, gave us a conservative view: "The average male 
has a fantasy that gymnasts are sexier than other athletes. 
This has nothing to do with the sport. 


SEXCETERA 


syncope (pronounced sing-co-pee) during sexual arousal, 
says Dr. Mai Lan Rogoff, assistant professor of psychiatry 
at Dartmouth Medical School. 

Both men and women can experience syncope, but it’s 
nothing to get upset about. Some people get off on being 
anoxic; it turns them on to hold their breath when having 
sex. If you do this for long periods of time, it’s very 
possible to faint. Syncope isn't nearly as common now- 
adays as it was during the Renaissance and the 18th Cen- 
tury, but Rogoff tells us that it wasn’t climaxing but 

corseting that was responsible—the 


Gymnasts might be better-looking be- 
cause of their total body training, but 
it doesn't necessarily affect their sex 
life.” Dr. Warren Guild, former presi- 
dent of the American College of 
Sports Medicine, disagrees. He told 
us that athletic women are generally 
more erotic than the average woman 
who is out of shape. “Their libidos 
tend to increase." Many coaches 
advise their females in training to 
make love before a big event— 
because it relaxes them and feeds 
their superegos. 


PLANT PARENTHOOD 
As available as traditional birth- 
control methods are, they're not grow- 
ing on trees—yet. But they've been 
coming out of the woods for the 
Chinese for over 1000 years. 


FRED NELSON 


lacings were much too tight. 


FUEL INJECTION 

We've got some good news and 
some bad news. Here's the good 
news: There really is a true aphro- 
disiac! Now for the bad news: It 
works only if you're over 45. Actual- 
ly, that's not so bad—gives us some- 
thing to look forward to. If you turn 
out to be one of those men whose 
sexual urge has tapered off as the 
golden years approach, you have 
nothing to worry about anymore. You 
can get a shot of testosterone, the 
hormone of libido. The secret of its 
stimulation, says Dr. Robert Green- 
blatt, professor emeritus of the Med- 
ical College of Georgia, is that it 
replaces the sex hormones that dete- 
riorate in some men over 45. Dr. 


Oriental medical men have been 

writing about the results of their experiments with poten- 
tial abortifacient and birth-control plants since 847 ap. 
Now, some doctors from the Chinese University of Hong 
Kong believe that this ancient but highly organized infor- 
mation may be of great value to Western medicine. In the 
summer 1976 issue of the American Journal of Chinese 
Medicine, they've published a list of potential antifertility 
plants described in Chinese pharmacology. More than 
250 of these wonderful weeds have been carefully classi- 
fied by the Chinese over the centuries as useful in foil- 
ing the stork. 


BREATHLESS 


"Oooooh, what you 
аге doing to те!” 
she gasps. “I'm getting 
so excited I can't stand 
it. You're driving me— 
uuuunnhhh." And she 
faints. You lie there, 
staring with surprise at 
the unconscious wom- 
an in your arms. You 
can't figure out wheth- 
er to panic or to keep 
on going. But don't 
worry. She has merely 
swooned with de- 
light—as the romantic 
poets might say. From a 
more modern perspec- 
tive, she experienced 
DENNIS MAGDICH 


Greenblatt tells us, “It's only in the 
past two or three years that we can very accurately meas- 
ure serum-testosterone levels in elderly men. If they have 
low levels, they can get a simple subcutaneous injection of 
testosterone that would last about two weeks or a pellet 
implantation that would last five to six months." With these 
treatments, their sex life is given a shot in the arm. 


SPACED-OUT SEX 

For years, science-fiction buffs have been thinking about 
balling in space. But no one has actually tested whether or 
notit's possible to make 

love without gravity. 
However, Charles 
Redmond, public-in- 
formation spokesman 
for the Johnson Space 
Center in Houston, 
believes that making 
love without gravity 
would be not only pos- 
sible but delightful. Ac- 
cording to Redmond, 
you could practice any 
positions for as long 
as you wanted, since 
there’d be no stress on 
your body muscles. We 
intend to explore this 
subject further. One 
giant step for mankind. 
—HOWARD SMITH AND 
BRIAN VAN DER HORST 


Make а good move. 
Mix your martini with white rum from Puerto Rico. 


There's nothing like white rum to makes such a civilized martini, 
bring you together without coming because only Puerto Rico requires 


between you. that every drop of its rum be aged 
That's because white rum — in for at least a year. 
sharp contrast їо gin and vodka — Little wonder that 86% of all 
has a taste so smooth you're almost the rum sold in the U.S. comes 
not aware that it's there. from Puerto Rico 
When you mix this smoothness When you leave gin and vodka 
of white rum with dry vermouth, the behind for the smoothness of white 
result is a drink that pleases from rum, you won't be alone. White rum 
the first sip to the last. And from is the fastest-growing major 
one drinkto the next. distilled spirit in America. 
Only white rum from Puerto Rico PUERTO RICAN RUMS 
dte For tres. "While Rum Classics" recipes write Puerto Rican Rume: Dept 20.1200 Avenue olihe Americas МУ NY 10010 


= E 


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NEXT MONTH: 


PORN FLICK 


CLOTHES COME-ONS PYNCHON PORTRAIT SEXUAL PERVERSITY 


“SEXUAL PERVERSITY IN CHICAGO"'—BOY MEETS GIRL (BUT 
WHAT A GIRL) IN A PLAY EXCERPT BY THE MUCH-HERALDED 
AUTHOR OF -AMERICAN BUFFALO—DAVID MAMET 


“ROCKY MOUNTAIN HYPE”—A REVISIONIST LOOK AT COLO- 
RADO, ESPECIALLY ASPEN, WHERE ALL THE CITY FATHERS ARE 
EST GRADUATES—BY D. KEITH MANO 


“A FEW KIND WORDS ABOUT ASPEN"—OFFERED BY A GUY 
WHO DOESN'T ENTIRELY AGREE WITH MANO—CRAIG VETTER 


“THE FIRECRACKER VS. THE BOMB"'—A SHORT APPEAL FOR 
SANITY ANDSOULFULNESS FROM THE MASTER—HENRY MILLER 


“LOSER WINS” AND “THE TENNIS COURT"—TWO TALES OF 
THE SETTING EMPIRE IN MALAYSIA BY THE AUTHOR OF THE 
GREAT RAILWAY BAZAAR—PAUL THEROUX 


“THE MOTEL TAPES, PART THREE"—FINAL INSTALLMENT OF 
THOSE POIGNANT, EROTIC, COMIC DIALOGS "OVERHEARD" IN 
ONE ROOM, ONE YEAR—BY MIKE MC GRADY 


“(CASANOVA AND COMPANY''—ON THE SET AND BEHIND THE 
SCENES OF THE SEXY NEW TONY CURTIS MOVIE, FEATURING 
PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR LILLIAN MULLER 


“WHO IS THOMAS PYNCHON ... AND WHY DID HE TAKE 
OFF WITH MY WIFE?"—AN UNUSUALLY PERSONAL VIEWPOINT 
ON AMERICA'S MOST RECLUSIVE WRITER—BY JULES SIEGEL 


“THE FOOD CRISIS"—BIG NOT ONLY ISN'T BETTER, IT'S WORSE. 
A REPORT ON HOW AMERICAN AGRICULTURE IS BEING GIVEN 
THE BUSINESS—BY NICHOLAS VON HOFFMAN 


“GETTING IT UP FOR A PORN MOVIE”—MONEY ISN'T THE 
ONLY THING THAT HAS TO BE RAISED. A BLOW-BY-BLOW ACCOUNT 
OF THE PROCESS—BY RONAN O’CASEY 


“CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN”—THERE ARE TIMES WHEN A WISP 
OF GARMENT IS SEXIER THAN NOTHING AT ALL. IN A SEVEN- 
PAGE PICTORIAL, WE SHOW YOU SOME OF THOSE TIMES 


The new Volaré T-Bar Roof: 
our answer to the vanishing convertible. 


To the new generation of Americans who have never 
known the driving pleasure of wind through the hair, 
we proudly dedicate our new T-Bar Volaré Coupe. 

Itfeels just as good as it looks. 

Itfeels free and fresh when open. 

Sound and secure when closed. 

But be advised; when you close it, you're in no 
way closed in. Because the dual pop-in roof panels 
are made of a thick, rich smoked glass. So you can 
easily look up and out at the world. While the world 
has a hard time looking in. 

The optional T-Bar roof joins a big list of Volaré 


standard comforts that includes big, wide windows; 
big, wide seats; and, of course, the remarkable iso- 
lated transverse suspension. 

As novel as the name implies, the isolated trans- 
verse suspension system imparts a smooth quality 
to Volaré's ride . . . a ride like that of bigger cars. 

C'mon, slip into something more comfortable: the 
new Volaré T-Bar, it's the original top- 
less feeling. D 

A matchless feeling you can buy or 
lease as near as your nearest Chrysler- |Plymoutfi 
Plymouth Dealer. 


ARVBLER CORPORATOM 


Plymouth Volaré. The small car with the accent on comfort. 


itwasnt for Winston 
\ Iw uldut smoke. 


3 SSN 


б, Taste isn't everything. It's Че те thing. 

Cy I smoke for pleasure. That's spelled T-A-S-T-E. 

That means Winston. Winston won't give youd new image. 

т will ever give me is taste. 
“i. syery real. [fa-cigarette isn't real, 

nt re ENE is tra 


9 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine av. 
per cigarette, FIC Report 
APR.'T6. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.