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PLAYBOY

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN NOVEMBER 1977 • $1.75
BUNNIES '77 BILLY
THEY’VE GOT IT = E CARTER
THEY FLAUNT IT e " =

„ = ii MOUTHS
HOT OFF 4 et | " OFF ON
THE SCREEN ч Ac | - BEER, WOMEN

= AND HIS

5% SS “BROTHER, THE
> PRESIDENT

Macho. It's b-a-a-a-d.

The powerful scent
for men by Fabergé.
Macho is b-a-a-a-d.
And that's good.

Macho cologne, Macho deodorant,
Macho soap. At fine stores.

At Mercedes Benz, they
engineer a great car, without
regard for price.

Subaru engineers a great
car, with great regard for price.

For one of the lowest
sticker prices around} Subaru
gives you a long list of engi-
neering features. Like front

THE PRESTIGE

wheel drive, steel belted
radials and our remarkable
SEEC-T engine which can run
onregular gas. Something
Mercedes, not to mention a lot
of economy cars, can't do.

You also get the conve-
nience of over 600 Subaru
dealers. Checkthe yellow pages

Inexpensive. And built to stay that way.

THE PRICE
OF PRESTIGE:

for the dealer nearest you.
Subaru and Mercedes,

two of the finest engineered

cars around. One sells for

8 times the price of the other.
The choice is yours.

*Plus dealer prep, delivery and taxes.
+їп Cal. Total POE—not including tox: license ond
inland transportation is $3,152. Wheel trim rings
ond rally stripes ore extra.

_ FRESH FROM THE TROPICS.
THE RUM-LACED COCONUT.

Introducing CocoRibe* Liqueur.
Wild island Coconuts Laced with fine Virgin Islands Rum.

CocoRibe"is the Caribbean drink.

#7 j Wheth er you drink it straight,
7 r with

pi cape jui e, milk.

PLAYBILL

PERHAPS THE ONLY DISTINCTION between Republican Presidents
and Democratic Presidents is their siblings. Quick, now: What is
the name of Richard Nixon's brother, how much money did he
сат and what was his most memorable remark? Give up?
Nixon's brother is named Donald, the most he ever made at one
sitting was a very questionable 5205.000 loan from Howard
Hughes and, to our knowledge, he never said a word, except,
perhaps, “I didn't do anything wrong." No one will ever have
trouble remembering that President Carter is the older brother
of Billy, who, by the way, ma 0,000 th
from personal appearances and whose quotable rem
dude, “My brother and 1 get along fine as hell as long as he's
in Washington and I'm in Plains" We sent good ole boy Roy
Blount Jr. down to Plains to collect a few of the sayings of
Chairman Billy. Photographer Tem Zuk amd sculptress Judith
Jompel supply the visuals.

ical writing makes strange bedlellows. Mervin Kalb and
Ted Koppel arc the diplomatic correspondents for, respectively,
CBS and ABC. They teamed to write Jn the National Inter
a thriller whose hero seems somewhat familiar. Says Koppel,
"he careless reader may leap to the conclusion that the central
character of our book may be intended as a Kissinger figure.
This would simply demonstrate once again the deplorable cyni-
ism that exists among your readership.” The novel In the
National Interest will be published by Simon & Schuster in
November.

Former Nixon associates may find solace, or at least some-
thing familiar, in Clifford Irving's Jailing (illusuated by Ron
Seymour), from his forthcoming book of the same tide. It's out
of the notebooks he kept while serving time for hi: in the
Howard Hughes biography hoax. It seems the famous recluse
couldn't take а joke. Another man who сап take а joke is Idi
Amin Dada, In this month's Playboy Interview, journalist John
ks with a survivor of Dada's reign of terror—form
ndan minister of health Henry Kyemba.
anda, the national sport is torture. In America, it’s foot-
ball. Big difference. We sent Marty Bell to profile Frank Gifford.
In Nice Guys Finish First, the former football great confesses

major regret in life—that he has never been taken seriously as
an actor. Bell says that shortly after that confession, Gifford re-
ceived a phone call from the producers of the ABC series Love
Boat. Oh, well, maybe someday Gifford will get his wish. Anson
Mount is а name almost as familiar to football fans as Gifford.
We asked PrAvnov's famous forecaster to check his crystal ball
Jor the future of another sport. The result is the first Playboy's
College Basketball Preview, Checking the facts in Mount's
article was one of our Copy Department's newer members, Re-
cher Susan O'Brien (shown here in front of a collage of dip-
pings about. Marquette, her alma mater). O'Brien would like it
known that the views expressed by Mount аге not necessarily
those of his assistant (Mount rates Marquette [ourth). Elsewhere
in the issue: Film freaks Arthur Knight and Senior Editor Gretchen
McNeese spent many hours in dark movi
hours in offices sorting through material for Sex in Cinema—
1977. And to think they actually get paid for their work. There
are probably hundreds of you who would like that job or,
even better, that of Staff. Photographer Richard Fegley (hc shot
this month's Playmate, Rite Lee). То keep our other photog
raphers from becoming overly jealous, we sent them to shoot
Bunnies of '77. Maybe you'd like to break into this business?
"Test your abilities on The So-You-Think-You cative Quiz,
by Eugene Raudsepp witli George P. Hough, Jr. (illustrated by Ron
Roe). (The quiz is an excerpt from Creative Growth Games, to
be released by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich in November)
Don't worry if you fail; your brother can run for President.

ke ov

houses and still more

BLOUNT

ZUK, JAMPEL

PLAYBOY

vol. 24, no. 11 november, 1977 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

ЕГАУЕПР ЕЕРЕЕ eth hm terere TI ees ce РВ 3
DEAR PLAYBOY ......... BobádcnopeboeADanco56ongdbenso odo n
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS psasoodsedansunon Эче denon 21

BOOKS ООВ Boo te d 26

Peter Tauber scavenges the Sixties; Robert Coover blows your mind and Peter
DeVries creates a wonderful, albeit ersatz, Groucho Marx.

Nationol Interest

МОС E ae ot мл Oe eee eee е 34

1977 Bunnies

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR ........ 51
! PLAYBOY SEX POLL . HOWARD SMITH 55
4 This month's question: Where do you most like to make love outside of bed?

Digging Roots А IHEIPLAYBOYIEORUM E и soe шалка. apocds £p

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: HENRY KYEMBA—candid conversation ..... 77
Idi Amin's ex—minister of health sheds fresh light on the bizarre and blood-
thirsty actions of the world’s most notorious head of state.

CHAIRMAN BILLY—article ...................._ ROY BLOUNT JR. 112
Some have fame thr ist upon them, and the President's brother will make
а cool half mil this year for being the icon of iconoclasm.

Cinemo Sex

BUNNIES OF '77—pictorial ........ Se ИИ
Our annual photographic salute to those spectacular cottontails.
ROOTS food 2a e eerie CU р ..-EMANUEL GREENBERG 129

Lots of the best things to eat grow under your feet.

IN THE NATIONAL INTEREST—fiction . . MARVIN KALB and TED KOPPEL 130
A tension-filled tale of Israeli raids and a Secretary of States desperate
Foolboll's Frank Р. 151 attempts to avert a Middle East war.

GeneraL OrriCES: PLAYEOY BUILDING, 919 NORTH MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILLINOIS вові RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED
IF THEY ARE то DE RETURNED IND NO ВЕРН N BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. ALL RIGHTS IM LETTERS SENT TO PLAYBOY WILL BE TREATED AS UNCONDITION.
ALLY ASSIGNED FOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYEOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND то COMNENT EDITORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 1977 BY

PLAYBOY, ALL RIGHYS RESERVED, PLAYBOY AND RADUIT EAD SYMBOL AME MARKS OF PLAYBOY, REGISTERED U.S. PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGIS
REPRINTED IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FACH THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SEMIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE
AND ANY REAL PEOPLE AND PLACES |s PURELY COINCIDENTAL, CREDITS: COVER: PLAYWATE/MODEL SUSAN RIGER. DESIGNED DY ARTRUR KRETCHMER AND TOM STAEDLER, PHOTOGRAPHED
BY TOM STAEBLER. OTHER PHOTOGRAPHY DY: BRUNO BERNARD, Р. 166; CHARLES М. DUSH, P. 3: DAVID CHAN, Р. 117. 116, 119; ALAN CLIFTON, Р. 3; CONTACT AGENCY, P. 167; CROWN

4 INTERNATIONAL PicrunEs, p. мөө, MICHOLAS BE эслозк. P. RO, 121, зав, заз, 114, 179; Равну SYGWA, P. 159) BILL FRANTZ, P. 3, 110; MICHAEL GINIBURG, P. 197; JAMES m.

COVER STORY

One morning, млувох Editorial Director Arthur Kretchmer pulled the pop top off a can
of soda, and a little light (possibly the one in the refrigerator) Rashed before his eyes.
"I've got a cover idea!” he exclaimed. Senior Art Director Tom Staebler took over
from there, cut out the Rabbit pop top by hand [he sustained only minor lacerations)
and photographed Playmate Susan Kiger almost in her T-shirt.

GROWING UP—playboy's playmate of the month ................ 132
Rita Lee had the womon-child blues until she found out that Momma
was right—a pretty girl has to be careful.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor ..-.....-- tet Е HE a= 144
FIGHTING THE DEEP FREEZE—attire ...............-- DAVID PLATT 146

The way winter has been the post couple af years, this is по time for
halfway measures.

Brother Billy

NICE GUYS FINISH FIRST—persorality ..........-- ....МАВТУ BELL 151
How fovltless Frank Gifford climbed the ladder of success to media stardom
with nary a false step (well, almost).

RINGING SUCCESS—modern living ... cies aS 1A
Bob Newhart's Marcia Wallace stors in a roundup of the latest electranic
wonders that will do everything with your telephone but pay the bill.

SEX IN CINEMA—1977—article ........ TR ARTHUR KNIGHT 156 р
The silver screen continues to have а decidedly blue streak. Our 12-poge Freeze Fighters
pictorial provides graphic uncoverage.

JAILING—aorticle ......... боны a cce DA CLIFFORD IRVING 168
When the greatest literary hoaxer of our time was sent to the slammer, he
took notes on what he sow. It wasn't pretty.

PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL PREVIEW—sports. . ANSON MOUNT 173
For the first time, our попрагей football prognosticator crystal-balls the
collegiate hoopsters. MALA

Top Cogers

THE SO-Y OU-THINK-YOU'RE-

CREATIVE QUIZ . . .. EUGENE RAUDSEPP with GEORGE P. HOUGH, JR. 177
Creative geniuses don't think like everyane else. Find out if you're one of
them. No fair peeking at the answers.

ITALIAN TALES—tibald classic ..........--- POGGIO BRACCIOLINI 179
PLAYBOY FUNNIES—humor . sse acres U2 4
THINK TANK .........-.--- Jj Sad Бл Fe Л Р 204 Lovely niis

Photography and the law, natural medicine, SWAT overkill, eye-color clues.

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI irre ЕЕЕ . 226

PLAYBOY'S PIPELINE ........
Credit ratings, bottled water, cold-weather grooming.
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE .............. 275
Ice buckets, Castelbajoc's fashions, gomes and gadgets. Irving's Diary
GLOBUS /GLOBE, P. тез; OMAN HENNESSEY, P. YZI: DAVID JAMES, P. 137: MATTI KUATT, |, 117; IILL KNUMENTE, P. 3: MARVIN LICUTNER / LEE GROSS, P. 196; SIHON LOPEZ, P. тэл: GANRICK
зон, P. A, гм. KEN WARtUS, Р тин, 123. 124) CHARLES MATTON/SYGMA, P. тез: BERT MITTLEHAN, P. 10101; SARAH PILEGGI, P- 1, POMPEO POSAR, P. 122, 124, STEVE SCHAPIRO /

PERMISSION OF TWE PUBLISNEA, P. 142, SHOES ГНОМ THE WIGHT BAN SHOE COMPANY. BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA. PLAYSOY CLUB INTIRNATIOMAL CARD, DIJWEEM P. 32-39; NEUELEIN
INSERT, BETWEEN P. 48:48. 134.235. PLAYBOY BOOK CLUB CARD. BETWEEN P- 280-151,

PLAYBOY, HOVEWEER, 1977, VOL. 24, NO. 11. PUDLISNEO MONTHLY BY PLAYBOY. IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYEOY BLDG.. 919 M. MICHIGAN AVE., CHGD., ILL. 80811. SECOND.CLASS

PLAYBOY

THE TULSA

The low zip up boot
$48.95*

The tall pull on boot
$65.00*

*Suggested retail price.

You may be able to find boots that look as
authentically rugged as these, but we doubt
that you'll find any quite so comfortable.
Because the Florsheim Tulsa is made from the
same kind of supple, top-grade leathers as our
dress shoes, and with the same painstaking
craftsmanship. What's more, because we make
the Tulsa in so many sizes, you're more likely
to get a better fit with us, too. But if you think
these are the only reasons to buy the Tulsa,
wait until you see our price, compared to other'
That might be the best reason of all.

N
Theonethe others can't quite copy.

For free style catalog, write Dept. PBT -Florsheim Shoe Company, Chicago, III. 60606.

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher

NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher

HMER editorial director _
ARTHUR PAUL art director
SHELDON WAX managing editor
GARY COLE photography editor
©. BARRY GOLSON executive editor

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: LAURENCE NZALES, PETER ROSS
RANGE senior editors = FICTION: ROBIE MAC-
AULEY editor, VICTORIA. CHEN MADER (350-
ciate editor, WALTER sUBLETTE assistant editor
SERVICE FEATURES: ToM OWEN modern liv-
ing editor; DAVID PLATT fashion editor; THOMAS
MAKIO food & drink editor + CARTOONS:
MICHELLE URRY editor « COPY: ARLENE ROURAS
edilor, STAN AMBER assistant editor e STAFI:
WILLIAM J. HELMER, GRETCHEN MC NEFSE, ROB-
ERT SHEA, DAVID STEVENS senior editors; ОЛУМ
STANDISH staff writer; JOWN BLUMENTHAL,
ROBERT CARR, JAMES R PETERSEN associate
editors; WALTER 1. LOWE, J. F. ос
WALKER assistant editors; BARBARA
research supervisor; KATE NOLAN, TOM
SAVANT research editors; MURRAY FISHER,
ERT L. GREEN, NAT HENTOFE, ANSON MOUNT,
RICHARD RHODES, JEAN SHEPHERD, ROBERT SHER-
KILL, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies) contribut
ing editors

ART

TOM STAFBLER, KERIG POPE senior directors;
пов POST, ROY MOODY, LUN WILLIS, CHET SUSKI,
NORM SCHAEFER associate directors; SKIP WIL-
LIAMSON, JOSEPH PACZEK assistant directors;
GENIA “TCHOKYK senior art assistant; JOY
HILDRETH, BETH КАЯК art assistants; KATHY
килт traffic coordinator; BARBARA HOFENAN
administrative assistant

PHOTOGRAPHY

MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; вил.
MGENAULT, JANICE MOSES associate edilors:
SE new york editor; RICHARD
FECLEY, RICHARD 170; POMPEO POSAR staff
photographers; vox AZUMA, DAVID CHAN,
DIXON, DWIGHT HOOKER, M. SCOTT
, KEN MARCUS, ALENAS URBA contrib-
uting photographers; вил. PRANTL associate
photographer; VATIY BEAUDET, MICHAEL
BERRY assistant editors; james ward color
lab supervisor; wowrer chaus administra-
tive editor

PRODUCTION

MASTRO director; ALLEN VARGO man-

READER SERVICE,
JANE COWEN SCHOEN manager

CIRCULATION
RICHARD SMITH vice-president
director of newsstand sales;
subscription manager

BEN COLDIERG
му WIEMOLD

ADVERTISING

HENRY w. MARKS advertising director

ADMINISTRATIVE
RICHARD M. ROFF business manager; PATRICIA
PAVANGELIS administrative editor; козе JEN-
мїм rights & permissions manager; марке»
ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.

омск J. DANIELS president

We asked Ed Stimpson why he
spent nearly 53,000 to watch football on
his VideoBeam’ television.

Here’ one tenth of

his answer detail how he handled this firsttackle ^ times, but as the year went on he gained
“On my VideoBeam six-foot and exactly how he made his move. superstar status. And I saw all that in his
screen I see a game better than And I said to myself, ‘This guy is good. — very first tackle. Nobody else did, ex-
the broadcasters, the referees, the This rookie was knocked a few cept the guy who got creamed, because
spectators, the players, you just can't experience the ferocity
and I see it better than | Y ofa tackle like that on a tiny TV tube.
the coaches which isn't Е “Ги watching the Masters,
E е and I can E
оппа ы f the name on the ball...”
watching the Patriots/ Tmalso a golfing fan, and
Oakland game last year d Э. the clarity of the picture on my
—you know, the one hal e 1 VideoBeam set and the
with the questionable сай у the screen is such that when I’m
vt roughing the D gees Watching the Masters for example I
h ae dies di E Сап read the name on the ball that the
demi. ашо E М players are playing. I'm not watching
ЕТ tee anne television. I'm there. In fact I'm better
d » might haves Actual closed circuit than being there, because I become
instant repay ын television picture. part of the action. It’s an experience
had a very different SuperBowl you can't really describe.
Pst Year 5 s 5 ‘There was another time I remem-
It isn't television... ber we were watching a Colts game
I'dsay detail is one of the n

when suddenly
outstanding features of watching} КОЛЛЕ ИЛЕ Sampson has

акеп а массаш Em. ftus no space to tell you more about

Lec s why I tell peoplestisnit Ed Stimpson, West Falmouth, Mass. our VideoBeam television system

tel к 3 xd Advent Videobeam television owner since 1974 that projects brilliant color TV pictures
ck 1 SER ы gati i etes from regular broadcasts and from video

used to play deten ooo cassette recorders on to asix-foot diag-

one eye on the defensive end. The X onal screen. If you would like to know

screen is big enough so you can see him more and see a demonstration return

shaping up for a mave before he makes ы, the coupon below or call toll free

it. It's uncanny—almost like reading 800-225-1035 (in Massachusetts call

his mind. | * Customer Relations at (617) 661-9500)

But I suppose the most dramatic for brochures and the name and
part about watching a game on the big
VideoBeam screen is the ferocity of the
tackle which you expenence pretty
much life-size in front of you.
“Nobody saw it like I did
except the guy who got
creamed...”

For instance I remember one
tackle vividly from last season. It was а
rookie corner back playing his first pro
game. Everybody had said he's по!
going to be any good. But I saw in great

Advents VideoBeant
Its beyond TV

Advent Corporation, 195 Albany Street, Cambridge, Mass. 02139 (617) 661-9500

and address of the nearest dealer where
Icansee a demonstration.

E
H
i
1
1
1
1
1
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1
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1

MAKE SUREYOUR NEXT
LUXURY CAR ISN'T LONGER ON
LUXURY THAN ITIS ON CAR.

There is a truth to the above
statement that, however ob-
Vious, seerns to have escaped
many of the world's automakers.

All too often one finds that
beneath its tasteful appointments,
the average luxury car is, indeed,
a very average car.

BENEATH THE LUXURY

OF THE BMW 530! IS A CAR
WORTH OWNING.

At the Bavarian Motor
| Works, it has long been our
philosophy that extraordinary
performance—a far more costly
automotive achievement than
superficial opulence—is the
only thing that makes an expen-
sive car worth the money.

And in the BMW 530i we
have pursued this philosophy to

perfection.

Under its hood is the
same basic
engine

that powers the BMW race cars | an extraordinary suspension
that have dominated interna- system.
tional racing for over a decade Instead of the solid rear
A three-liter, fuel-injected axle found on all domestic and
masterpiece of engineering many imported sedans, the
that's been called by the editors | BMW suspension is fully inde-
of Road & Track magazine pendent on all four wheels—
“.. бе most refined in-line six | McPherson struts and eccentri-
in the world.” Cally mounted coil springs in
An engine so remarkably front, semi-trailing arms and coil

efficient, it meets government
emission standards without
resorting to a catalytic
converter.

A CAR THAT IS
ONLY POWERFUL IS

DANGEROUSLY

INCOMPLETE.

Extraordi-

nary power
Calls for

springs in back.

This, combined with a multi-
jointed rear axle, puts a mini-
mum amount of "unsprung"
weighton the wheels, and allows
each wheel to adapt itself inde-
pendently to every driving and
road condition. With a smooth-
ness and precision that will spoil
you for any other car.

THE MOST COMFORTABLE
PLACE ON THE ROAD
MAY WELL BE INSIDE A BMW.
In the BMW interior, as on
the rest of the car, the hand of

the stylist has been carefully
guided by the dictates of the
engineer.

With full acknowledgement

= —À

of the anatomical reality that
human beings vary in shape,
the steering wheel telescopes
in and out and individual seats
are fully adjustable.

All seats are orthopedically
molded. There is ample head
and legroom, front and rear.

Controls and instruments
are within easy reach and clear
view.

At night, the instrument
panel is illuminated by an indi-
rect orange light found to be
optically beneficial to the driver.

THE GERMAN HIGH-
PERFORMANCE CAR MORE
GERMANS BUY.

In Germany, a land of many
legendary driving

machines, luxury cars are judg
ed by how well they perform.

Significantly, BMW sells
more high-performance cars
in Germany—and in the rest of
Europe—than any other manu-
facturer.

Surprising? Only to those
who have never driven a BMW.

As the editors of Motor
Trend magazine wrote, “The
reaction to a BMW is always
the same. The first time driver
takes the wheel and after a
few minutes no other automo-
bile will ever be the same
again."

If the thought of owning
such a car intrigues you, we
suggest you phone
your BMW dealer
and arrange a
thorough test drive
THE ULTIMATE DRIVING MACHINE.
Bavarian Motor Works, Munich, Germany

PLAYBOY

They obviously have good taste. Id rather drink it.
They brought Bombay. Happy Holidays.

Dont you love
to read the label?

ance rod Ba Gins
стз оре Te
огай ee
o Gua e ы
Be
of Go бу on
nhng the vapor

„ Тм
the drik. THE

ees

һа
2 Lemon
fem SPP

y "d
Affe > ау

бт

DISTILLED AND BOTTLED IN ENGLAND

Boren
The gentle gin.

21977 Carillon Importers, Ltd., NY. 10022. 86 Proof. 100% Grain Neutral Spirits.

DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYBOY BUILDING
919 Н. MICHIGAN AVE.
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

WINKLER VS. FONZIE
Just a comforting word to your Aug:
interviewee. Henry Winkler. There is a
small minority in televisionland who can
distinguish between Fonzie and yourself.
Rest assured, Henry, if you can give life
to the other characters you portray as well
as you do to Arthur Fonzarelli, your ta
ent will outshine the best things you ever
do on Happy Days.
Michael Morey
Bismarck, North. Dakota

ith him,
опг... but I love the
y Winkler.
Debra Allred
Springfield, Virginia

After reading your interview
1 like the
honest, gentle

Winkler can go on and on insisting
that he is not the Fonz, but try telling
that to those millions of hungry fans
out there. When they storm him, they're
storming the Fonz, not Winkler.

Tim Mount
South Plainfickl, New Jersey

The more secure a person, the greater
the humility demonstrated—that. makes
Winkler the most insecure person on
carth. I've never read more pretentious
bullshit in my life. Winkler truly эшет
from the 5/6" syndrome.

Patrick Fuller
Turlock, California.

A great actor isn't made а great actor
by attempting to force him to keep a
blackdeather jacket glued to his back.
Fonzie is а great character, but it is only
опе charaacr,

Theo Weiner
Larkspur, California

The Henry Winkler interview provides
a delightful peck at the effects of sudden
ne. Winkler’s remarks are filled with
the dreams, ambi: nces and contradic

tions that show even the most powerful
of emperors to be as naked as а jay bird.
Those who watch television think of
Winkler as a picce of themselves, After
all. are there any among us who have not
felt, “I wish I had the power to sce what
was really happening to me"?

Noah benShea

Montecito, California

CANYON CAPER
Your pictorial Riverboat Gambolers
in the August issue is, without 2 doubt,
visual pleasure both for the three love
ladies and for the occasional glimpse of
the beautiful Colorado River scenery.
Jeff Fisenbooth
Arlington, Virginia

Very nicely done! Riverboat Gam-
bolers, as photographed by Richard Feg-
ley, is a superb trcat. OF course, with
Patti McGuire, Hope Olson and Cindy
Russell gracing the beautiful Colorado,
it was a sure bet to begin with.

Brad Fechter
Saginaw, Michigan

І made the trip myself with the Na
tional Wildlife Federation in 1972 but
failed to see such fine specimens of “wild-
life" as photographer Richard Fegley cap-
tured on film.

упе Smith
Phoenix, Arizona

I think your Riverboat Gambolers
pictorial is truly spectacular, My compli
ments to Richard Fegley. How the hell
did he ever keep his cool?

Nath
Tampa,

McGowan
lorida

You really establish а landmark. with
Riverboat Gambolers т Matthies
sen might say at play
in the fields of the Lord.” I really think
you managed to liberate the Grand

Are you getting
all the music

from your records?

Of all the components in your
audio system only the cartridge
can retrieve the music from your
records. The quality and the amount
of music you hear depends on its
performance.

Since you pay for all the music
when you buy a record, why not
hear it all at home?

One stamp and the coupon
below will tell you how. Send it to
us with your name and address and
in a few days you'll receive a full
color, easy to understand brochure
on getting the most cartridge, and
the most music, for your money.

Send it to me,
free.

Empire Scientific Corp.,
Garden City, N.Y. 11530

Мате
Address.

[]WRONGPICH. [RIGHT PICK.

For most people, Right Guard’s formula has
more power againstwetness than BanBasic ...
for some people up to twice as much!

Don't get dressed without it.

12 "(Three sprays recommended.) єтєсичєгєсомнү. тт,

Canyon and the people who enjoy and
appreciate it once and for all.
R. E. Bennett
Ouawa, Ohio

Perhaps you are being facetious or
perhaps it is an oversight, It is possible
that the girls on pages 84-85 of the Au-
gust issue are “soaking up" some vitamin
D but rather doubtful regarding vitamin
C. In any event, none of them appears
to have a vitamin deficiency, by any
stretch of the in ition!

John Е. Brady
Augusta, Georgia

In these days in which nutrition is
linked closely with health and therefore
inevitably with sex, it could be helpful
to know ascorbic acid from cholecalciferol,
Ray Burman
Harbor City. Californi:
OK, we get the message, but at least

we loaded our pictorial with vitamin see.

TILL DEBTS US DO PART
Although the article Gohabitation: The
Tender Trap (PLAYsOY, August) is well
donc, reading it just rekindled bier
feelings for me. Stevens and Holmes
state that recent court rulings say а
common-law wife can collect for the time
and effort she has put into a relationship.
But what about the time and effort the
man put into that same relationship?
Why can't he turn right around and send.
her a bill for all Ais services? Is the law
long overdue in giving the man a fair
shake or am J just being bitte
Mike J. Kuzara
Clearmont, Wyoming

Your readers might be interested in
knowing that the principles of the Mar-
vin case were adopted in Minnesota by
the state supreme court in Carlson vs.
Olson, a сазе decided in May of this year.

Donald Gjerdingen
St. Paul, Minnesota.

I agree that people should protect
themselves, but the article makes cohab-
iting women seem like money-hungry

Wd
і
Wremember the “W?” is Silent.

and PT. [S fri
.. the CorduWroy |

ollection.

3 angler Menswear |
0 Fifth Ave:

E. York: row
1 © 1977 m Bell, Inc. x

PLAYBOY

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females who live with men to eventually
suck them dry, I resent the focus on
contracts to protect men from greedy
females.

Ronit Fischer

Springfield, Massachusetts

Can't we ever get away from a divorce
lawyer's paradise? We finally came to the
point where we could survive with a
woman and now the courts want to screw
that up. What about when sweetic pie
takes off with her new love and you still
wind up paying her to do it?
nie Deschenes

chester, Connecticut

Stevens and Holmes not so subtly sug-
gest that women are such cunning сте:
tures that one must аус signed legal
documents to guard against them. If the
authors had given women a little credit
and realized that not all of them are out
to put one over on men, their "advice"
would be unnecessary.

Leila P. Pavelic
Newark, Delaware

The SI3

000-рег-уеаг salary for the
housewife scems Гай I gues,
depending on total income, size of the
house a ables. Could you get
the authors to comment on whether the
payee (usually the man) can subtract
from that $13,000 such things as room
and board, clothing, use of cars, what he
paid in income taxes оп that amount,
those things merely consid.
cred. gratuities? I am not contemplating
a separation, nor am I being facetious. I
think women should be protected Irom
men who think they can use them and
then just cast them aside. However. fair
is fair, and in any relationship. it usually
isn't just the woman who does the giving.
James Simmons
Indianapolis. Indiana
Lre Marvin apparently agrees with you,
Jim. We have been informed by Michelle
Triola’s attorney, Marvin M. Mitchelson,
who obtained the favorable California
Supreme Court decision, that Marvin
has countersued for his “love, affection
and companionship” to the tune of
$1,000,000.

ad other va

etc, or are

CONVERSION AVERSION

In his Selecled Short on the metric
system (Give Them an Inch . . .) in the
August issue, Jim Davidson neglects th
one important aspect of the system: its
internal simplicity. Although Davidson
pokes fum at the "pleasures" of metri
catons, we do, indeed, take certain pleas
ures in the system. We like not having
to remember numbers like 144 and 5280.
And, very importantly, we like the ide
of our scientists and laymen spe:

the same measurement lang Oh.
perhaps it would be better il the meter
were a little closer to the yard, but we're
yptian rug peddlers anymore;

not Eg

"Il survive. It also seems sensible to
ke the change gradually. The first
phase is to have things remain the same
sizes but be labeled metrically—this gives
rise to the lengthy decimal numbers Da-
vidson is so fond of quoting. I share his
displeasure and look forward to the day
when metric units will be the original
design units and the numbers begin to
look rounder again.

Jerry L. Touchton
Morgan City, Loi

The silliness of some arguments in
favor of the metric system is greatly ex-
ded by many of the arguments used
against it. I'm not sure what David-
son's problem is, but my wife has a 97-
69-97 figure, which makes a lot more
sense than 383% 5%.

Mark D. Associate Professor
of Agricultural Engince
Pennsylvania State Unive
State College, Pennsylvani

The only point on which I am in
agreement with Davidson is that I re-
sent Government intervention in another
area where it should have no business
and 1 regret that private enterprise has
been so shortsighted as to necessitate it.
If Davidson would spend less time бре
uring out what everything new is in
terms of the old standards, perhaps he'd
find out that a gram of prevention is
worth a kilo of cure.

Stephen C. Hughes
Rochester, Minnesota

The idea that the units that have de-
veloped accidentally are naturally the
units that most closely correspond to
people's needs and desires assumes that
people actually take the time and effort.
to determine those needs and desires. ОЁ
course, the reverse is overwhelmingly the
case. And if you want a real hint on how
to adapt, talk to a grade schooler. They
don't have any problems with the тпепїс
system, except, perhaps, to wonder why
we didn't take Ben Franklin's advice
back in the 18th Century and adopt it
then.

Richard S. Russell
Madison, Wisconsin

The fact that conversions are non-
integral between metric ара English
units is not an argument for or against
the metric system. It just means it is
somewhat silly to translate integral Eng-
lish units into their metric equivalents.

Wayne Throop
West Middlesex, Pennsylvania

KAZOO NEWS

І was pleased to read that your re-
s present at the concert given
by the Messrs. insky at New York's
Alice Tully Hall (Playboy After Hours,
August). My pleasure turned to alarm,
however, when said reviewer described

Not every man
can handle Metaxa.

There's no easy way to describe the taste of Metaxa.
Except to say that it's definitely not one of your kid-glove
= drinks. When you taste Metaxa, you
E know it. And you won't forget it.
Metaxa comes from Greece, where
they understand such things.
The Greeks drink Metaxa straight,
by the fistful. Or sometimes
as a Stinger with a little
more sting.
Metaxa. Drunk by
Gods and Warriors. And
Men who can handle it.

Get giant 35” x 22" full color poster ol Metaxa Fistlul ad w/o copy! Send $2 to Box 929-MX-PB, N.Y.C. 10005.

10 years ago

your hair didn't need
the protein it needs
today to look its best.

Chances are, your hair looked
healthier ten years ago. It was
thicker, fuller, and it had more
protein. And thats what hair is
made of. But as time goes by,
your hair loses protein —
continuously. Which is why you
need Protein 29 Hair Groom.
Because Protein 29 actually
adds protein to individual hair
shafts. It helps your hair look
thicker, fuller, healthier. More
like it used to look.
Your hairis irreplaceable.
Wouldn't it be a good idea to
getsome
Protein 29 ni

Liquid, gel and sprays

Do something about
the next 10 years

the Калоо as “a little plastic pipe.
А toy kazoo may be made of plastic,
but a concert model such as those
employed by the composers and per-
formers who have given us the definitive
works for the i nent—Jesse "Lone
Car" Fuller, to name a pr nent ex-
е of tin. It is this material
ts до the Калоо ity distinctive
. which can only be described as

Victor А. Curran
Baltimore, Maryland.

You state that March 18 of this
year marked the 127th annivers
the invention of the kazoo in N
gia. That
kazoo

t of the
comb cov-
per) was depicted. by
Buonanni in 1729. Materials such as
parchment, spidersegg membranes, pa-
per and onionskin were also used to
cover tubes or vessels (“tube or vessel
mirlitons"), which have been known in
pe since the 16th Century. In the
ТИВ Century, this instrument. was also
known as fliteeunugue (eunuch flute)
It was relegated to the ranks of a musical
toy in the 19th Century.

vey J. Neptune
Wichita, Kansas

AUGUST MOON
Your August Grapevine coverage of
moviemaker Charles Gary Allison is
quite interesting. My congratulations to
Allison, but I would also like to com.
gratulate the individual (in the window
above Allison) for the moon shot.
Gary E. Ulrich
Carlisle, Pennsylvania

Am Т scing things, or is that somcone
hanging a moon?

Eugéne Haslam
Ouawa, Ontario
It ain't green cheese!

JUDGING JULIA

Julia Lyndon, the А
has finally turned thi:
of words. Not only is this woman gor-
geous but she shows an exceptional sen-
sitivity to the more subtle sides of things.
Her relerence to the Japanese tea cere-
mony is a real turn-or
formed with great са
can only say, from afar—unrestrained
elegance!

st Playmate,

Bill Ares.
Fairbanks, Alaska.

Julia Lyndon, what an astounding
woman! The theory that centerfold girls
don't have character takes another vi-
cious blow.

Jonathan Lee
Riverside, Illinois

Julia Lyndon is the most stunning
centerfold feature 1 have ever viewed!
W n D. Nueske
Phoenix, Arizona

I am pleased that you chose a lady
who is not only beautiful bur also imel-
ligent—a great step forward [or the
liberated male.

Douglas Leopold
Montreal, Quebec

You finally have picked a winner out
of your stable of beautiful women. Julia
has won my heart. I sure would like to
ride off into the sunset with her.

Cromas
ikee, Wisconsin

Miss August is delicious. The center-
fold shor would keep me in a state of
constant frenzy, but the white socks spoil
the whole image. Those ridiculous gar-
ments are erection-deflating.

Robert W. Nichols
Middletown. Pennsylvania

Some men find репу feet хо stimulat-

ing that Julia figures it's safer to keep

her socks on—even while putting on her
make-up.

A NOVEL PLEASURE
It has been 92 years since Graham
Greene brought us Thomas Fowler in
The Quiet American. John le Carré
has now given us a suitable replacement
with Jerry Westerby. The Honourable
Schoolboy (eLavnoy, August) is excellent
fiction. This could be Le Carr&'s finest
work. The days of drinking Pernod and
mouth cassis at Saigon’s Cercle Sportil
= over. but the same pleasure can be
found in this novel.
Robert J. Vandevoort
Omaha, Nebraska

ith headache the plop pl
. АА; Miles Laboratori

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

Kings, 16 mg. "tar," 1.0 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report Dec. 76 EON

ИТ НЕ д

"3
J
m
ЕЗ

...than XN

Winston or Marlboro. M

More Tobacco
Less Таг

Rich, full flavor is the promise t.
And it's a promise that Vicero 1
The method for delivering flavor simple as it is smart. IW
Instead of using stronger tobad iceroy uses moret tobacco, IM
and a /ower? ‘tar’ blend than Wig ton. Marlboro. 524
The result is a mild, fully pacKed.cigdrette —-
with an extra satisfying tas

iceroy makes.
S.

1. DURING 1976. VICERDY KINGS HAD, BY WEIGHT. 22-35 MGS. MORE TOBACCO THAN
WINSTON KINGS AND 40-52 MGS. MORE TOBACCD THAN MARLBORD KINGS (AVERAGE PER CIGARETTE).
2. VICERDY HAS A UNIQUE. AGED-BLEND OF NATURALLY LDW ‘TAR’ TOBACCOS AND A SPECIAL PROCESS
THAT ALLOWS THE USE OF MORE PARTS DF THE TOBACCO LEAF THAT ARE LOW IN TAR!
(VICEROY 16 MGS. ‘TAR: WINSTON 19 MGS. ‘TAR: MARLBORO 18 MGS “TAR: AVERAGE PER CIGARETTE. un
FTC REPDRT. DECEMBER, 1976.)

Me вы
HAULERS.

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

oviegoers at Philadelphia’s twin
Duke and Duchess theaters were
treated. this season to an unexpected sen-
sation in cinéma vérité, While one theater
showing The Other Side of Midnight,
the other featured Rollercoaster in Sensur-
round—a sound.effects process that makes
audiences feel as though they're rumbling
with what's onscreen. Running times for
the two films coincided quite interesting-
ly: Those steamy love scenes in The
Other Side of Midnight were acompa-
nied by roller-coaster sound effects from
the theater next door.
e

Headline of the Month Award goes to
Moneysworth m:
this boldface blurb above an article on
the successes of psychosurgery: "LoBoro-
MIZED WOMEN MAKE GOOD HOUSEWIVES,"

Among the brochures a San Francisco
man received from Eastern colleges, the
most alluring came from New York's
Alfred University, which advised: “Cost
of room and broad will vary. . . ."

For some time now, Peter Stollery,
Liberal caucus chairman of Canada's Par-
liament, has been using as a gavel a long,
stout, white bone he picked up in the
arctic regions. He'd assumed he'd been
conducting meetings with a caribou bone,
but the Toronto М.Р. recently discovered
that what he'd been waving at his col-
leagues was ап Aiviup Usuanga. For those
of you who don't understand Inuitian,
that's a walrus penis.

•

According to the International Herald
Tribune, women's organizations in the
British villages of Loose, Ugley and Bare
include Loose Women's Institute, Ugley
Women’s Institute and Bare Young Wives.

Advising tourists on how to avoid the

common plague of diarrhea, the Chicago

zine for publishing

Daily News suggested: “To prevent tur-
ista, boil all drinking water and milk. . . .
Peel all fruits before mating. . . ."

A West German burglar was about to
make his stealthy escape from the empty
Hamburg department store he had just
robbed. but he couldn't resist playing
with the model-train set displayed in the
store's toy department. In fact, he found
it so interesting that he was still playing
with it three hours later, when the sales-
clerks arrived to start the days work.
Police said the store's manager gave the
would-be thief a modeltrain catalog to
read in jail.

Legislators in Springfield, Illinois, were
understandably befuddled when asked to
explain the need for a newly proposed
state agency, the Commission on Erec-
tions and Mounting. The purpose of the
agency, a state senator quickly pointed
out, is the mounting of memorial busts—
whatever that means.

Fractured English Department: Ac
cording to international journalist Nino
Lo Bello, travelers in the Far East report
suange distortions of the English lan-
guage appearing on signs and notices.
The Japanese, in particular, do а num
ber on our syntax. For example, a Tokyo
hotel notice advises: THE FLATTENING OF
UNDERWEAR WITH PRESSURE IT THE JOR OF
THE CHAMBERMAID, TO GET IT DONE, TURN
HER ON. A poster informs visitors that the
JAPANESE GARDEN 15 THE MENTAL HOME
Or THE Javanese. And on Taiwan, the
label on an alarm-clock box reads: THANK
YOU TO PERFECTION OF ALARMING MECHA-
NISM, YOU ARE NEVER AWAKE WHEN YOU
ARE SLEEPING.

A Colorado man has unsuccessfully
claimed he was tricked into a confession,
in violation of his constitutional right
when an arresting officer laughed at him.
Seems the man was caught stealing boxes
containing 1200 beef rectums from a meat-
processing plant. While driving the thief
to the police station, the officer told him,
“You wouldn't believe what you took—
1200 beef assholes," and burst out laugh-
ing. The Colorado Court of Appeals di:
regarded the thiel's argument, saying the
officer had reason to laugh.

Churchgoers at Cleveland, Ohio's Saint
John's Cathedral read this puzzling notice
in the church bulletin: "Deceased mem-
bers of the Knights of Columbus, Council
733, will attend the ninc At. mass."

Beneath the headline “rorNocrarny
IN noustos,” the Houston Chronicle ran
this eye-catching subhead: "A vicesquad
officer says, "It's wide-open out there, "

Admonishing staff members to behave
themselves while occupying the Presiden
tial box at the John F. Kennedy Center
for the Performing Arts, Rosalynn Carter's
administrative assistant, Carol Benefield,
sent out a three-page memo requesting that

PLAYBOY

women not wear see-through blouses or
go braless, that men wear ties and jackets
and that everyone stop throwing food
over the railing into the audience,

Funny what a change in temperature
will do to sexual response. This headline
appeared in the Tampa, Florida, Trib-
ипе: "MANY IN NATION SHIVER FROM LACK.
ОЕ HOME HEAD.

.
Schlemiel of the Month Award goes to
the young male hitchhiker who flagged
down an unmarked police car оп L.A-'s
Century Boulevard and asked for a ride
to Hollywood. The plaindothes officers
inside the car explained that they were
busy Not to be deterred, the young
man—offering good grass in exchange for
a ride—hopped into the car, whereupon
he proceeded to compliment the officers
on their clothes, car, radio and shotguns
and light up a joint. He was booked for
investigation of possession of marijuana.
б
Residents of Tulsa, Oklahoma, needn't
worry if they can't spell. In the Tulsa
directory, the telephone company lists
itself: FONE COMPANY—SEE SOUTHWEST-
ERN BELL TELEPHONE.
б
London housewife Barbara Newcombe,
who lost her voice unaccountably several
years ago, recently visited a faith healer
and recovered her speech. The strange
thing is the voice she got back is not her

ri one, Mrs. Newcombe inexpli-
cably is now speaking with an Italian ac-
cent. “It will take some time to get used

to,” said her baflled husband, adding,
"she's never been to Italy, you know."
.

We have no idea what they were trying
to зау, but we read in New Jerscy’s
Ocean County Reporter that a local con-
struction firm “was awarded the bid by
the Township Committee to construct a
groin at Butler Beach.”

Poughkeepsie, New York's Mayor Rob-
ert E. Ahmed, embarrassed by the name
of the street on which he lived—Hooker
Avenuc—failed to get citizen support to
have its named changed, so he moved . . .
to Seaman Road.

Hard-Luck Story of the Month. Whe
a man named Chai joined a friend to
partake of some homemade rice wine, the
experience turned out to be pretty sober-
ing. According to Thailand's Bangkok
Post, Chai finished off half a bottle
of wine, ate three hard-boiled eggs and,
before retiring for the night, noticed he
had an erection. Nothing so unusual
about that—except his member stayed
rigid the next day and the day after that
and the day after t - Last we heard,
poor Chai (whose name means man or
manly) was at a hospital, receiving injec
tions to lower his saluting schlong.

PORNO WRITERS APTITUDE TEST

Е" in the blank
with the best
word or phrase:
1. Lowering his
= SS hetdis-
played his en-

gorged member.
A. yearly re-

i
C. chinos
D. expecta-
tions
2. His eager
tongue darted
over her nipples,
across her smooth
belly and toward.
her

A. sandwich.
B. checkbook
. mons Veneris
D. brother
3. Naked, she redined on the silk
pillows and ___ her legs.
A. buticred
B. spread
C. kicked him with
D. exercised
4. He awoke with a start when two
slipped naked into his bed.
A. Federal judges
В. mil nt feminists
C. burglars
D. teenaged girls
5. She leaned down, her golden
hair cascading around him, and of
fered him her to suck.
А. bra
B. breasts
C. douche bottle
D. goldfish
6. His
toes to his scalp, lew
less and spent.
A. heating bill
B. exercise machine
C. orgasm
D. neighbor's Doberman
7. The angry sca crashed ag;
the rocky shore as they їп
the sand.
A. did deep knee bends
B. got sick
C. went down on each other
D. dug a comfort station
8. Seeing her 42-inch _,1
grew excited.
A. husband.
B. bowling trophy
C. bust
D. heels
9. He came up behind her as she
bent gracefully over the and
mounted her.
A. water fountain

shook him from his
ng him breath-

B. bathtub
C. altar
D. cardiac
monitor
10. She slowly
undressed,
plugged in the
and set-
tled back on the
cushions for a long
afternoon of pleas-
ure.
A. electric
train
B. Mixmaster
С. dishwasher
D. vibrator
И. Не reached
under her
and felt the oozing
wetness.

A. crankcase
m
C. kitchen sink
D. dress
12. When they got to his apart-
ment, he undressed and showed her
the biggest she'd ever seen.

A. philodendron

B. carbuncles

C. pe

D. collection of baseball cards

13... she said, pushing him
off of her.

A. “You'll just have to drill from
some other position, Dr.
Woodrulf,”

B. “Look, mister, I don’t care if
the beach is crowded,"

C. "Why don't you take off your
wer suit first

m paying cash for the gro-

ceries this weck, Mr. Altobelli,’

M. she said, putting her
hand inside his pants.

А. “I think I left my caring in
there,”

Some people think of us li-
brarians as dull,

C. "Are you sure this was on my
job description, Mr. Trucs-
dale?"

. "No, I can't find

1195 —
vacuum
intimates.

В.

either,"
she said, taking the
er nozzle out of her

Лі is the part of housework

1 lik

‘At least it doesn’t go limp on
me,”

C. "This is your
attachment,"
D. “Things get dusty
they're not used, dear,”

—ALPHONSE SIMONALTIS

в
multipurpose

when

LES

12 for first one-year gift (save $7.00*) $10 for each additional опе-уеаг gift (save $9.00*)

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BOOKS

hen a publisher describes a book as
an epic, we begin to get nervous. Ts
he talking about the creative energy ex-
pended in writing it, the scope of the
work itself (а hero ventures out to save а
nation) or the energy required to read it?
Peter "Taubers The Last Best Hope (Har-
court Brace Jovanovich) falls solidly into
tegories one and three but misses cate-
gory two. It’s a sweeping account of the
Sixties (for sweeping, read. the collection
of debris), There's a little bit of every-
thing in this book: Viemam, think tanks,
the New Hampshire primary, rape, the
Kennedy assassinations. The hero, Tyler
Bowen, is a boy wonder who gocs from а
job as spokesman for a biochemical-
arfare research center through а position
with the McCarthy campaign to а rendez-
vous with the National Guard at Kent
State. His brother, Willy, fights in Viet-
nam, is reportedly killed in action, then
resurrected and returned to ponder the
urban guerrilla action at People's Park in
Berkeley. Tyler's girlfriend leaves her hus
band, is raped, goes through the agony of
the subsequent tial and later joins the
Robert Kennedy primary campaign. A
peripheral character goes on to become a
Charles Colson type in the Nixon White
House; and another friend provides spir-
itual and/or comic rdief. There is a
scattershot brilliance to the writing, like
some Tom Robbins juggling act. Tauber
stays doser to reality than Robbins but,
even so, is prone to excess. To devote
nearly 50 pages to the rape trial secms
pointless; by the time the girlfriend gets
through it, she is suffering shell shock, and
so is the reader. Finally, the protagonist,
in no shape to sive the nation, retires
from the political arena to watch with a
special wisdom the sea change of the late
Sixties. His description of the primaries is
the best You Are There coverage we've
read. Whether or not it belongs in a
novel is another thing.
б
Robert Coovers much-discussed
controversial novel The Public Burning (Уі.
king) may be hazardous to your mental
health. (Never fear: Its nothing that a
shower or a good Mickey Spillane story
won't cure.) For one thing, the narrator is
Richard Nixon, If you thought the Frost-

and

Nixon interviews were seamy and self.
serving, you're going to love this book.
Goover's topic is the Fifties, specifically

the execution of Julius and Ethel Rosen-
berg for the theft of atomic secrets. The
two were convicted, observes Coover, not
by evidence but by atmosphere, and he
жїз out to recreate that atmosphere.
Among his inventions: a vaudeville spec
ter named Uncle Sam who appears to
public figures, giving them lectures on the
Phantom of Darkness—and tips on golf
zine is named the

swings. Time maga

The Sixties: our Last Best Hope?

Read all about it: The
saga of the Sixties,
the decline of some Britons,
the life of Alex Karras—
and a pseudo Groucho Marx.

The Ice Age cometh, unclearly.

national poet laureate and wanders
through the scenery, musing on the art of
revelation: “It is not enough to present
facts—something has to happen in time
and space, observed through the imagina-
tion and the heart, something accessible
and yet illuminating to that reader he
writes for, the Gentleman from Indiana,
Raw data is paralyzing, а nightmare;
there’s too much of it and man's mind is
quickly engulfed by it. Poetry is the art of
subordinating facts io the imagination, of
giving them shape and visibility, keeping
them personal, It is, as Mother Luce has
said, ‘fakery in allegiance to the truth.

Coovers fakery is reminiscent of Е. L.
Doctorow's in Ragtime. Doctorow in-
vented the genre (and, incidentally, also
wrote a novel based on the Rosenberg
children). Did Pat force Dick to drive her
into Los Angeles for dates with other
guys? Did Nixon really portray the dis-
trict attorney in a college production of
Ayn Rand's The Night of January 16?
You get the idea. And, for our moncy, а
book that points out that J. Edgar
Hoover's carcer was contemporaneous
with that of Mickey Mouse can't be ай
bad.

Margaret Drabble is an important writ-
er who proves herself over and over
again. In her cighth novel. The Ie Age
(Knopf), this English author demonstrates
her considerable skill in making small
events and details come alive as she fol-
lows the lives of a handful of friends,
all of whom are suflering setbacks: im-
prisonment, financial disaster, amputa-
tion, midlife crisis. Anthony Keating is
the main character in this very ambitious
novel. In one respect, he is confronting
the greatest insecurities, trapped in his
own ambitions, as well as in the prob-
lems of a changing England: “They had
learned . . . to condemn the examination
system that had elevated them and
brought them security: They had tried
to learn new tricks. But where were the
new wicks? They had produced no new
images, по new style. . . . Nothing had
changed. Where was the new bright
classless enterprising future of Great
Britain?” This novel is a noble effort, re-
flecting modern people in shifting times,
but because there are so many lives and
story lines to follow, it seems to lack a
cohesive center as it moves from one pa
son to the next. It is, however, definitely
worth reading, for Drabble is а master
prose technician who reminds us, page
after page, that the English language is
a thing of beauty.

.
The true test of a comic novelist is the
bility to take a thoroughly absurd. prem-
ise and work it into a believable story. In
Madder Music (Little, Brown), author Peter
De Viics presents us with one Bob Swirl-
ing, writer of articles on polo, lover of
married women and indefatigable impa
sonator of Groucho Marx, who goes ut-
terly bonkers at an NAACP banquet and
psychologically retreats into the character
of—you guessed it—Groucho Marx. This
ploy gives De Vries the once-in-alifetime
opportunity to invent his own Groucho
routines and actually use them. And some
of them are pretty good. For example,
aybe you can help me. I'm looking for
something in thing suit. Oh, there she
is... don't bother me now. I'm trying
to get the lay of the land—if 1 can find

es are invited to an ope

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out who she is. Bessie and I met on a
plane coming back from Paris. We were
an hour in a holding pattern over Ken-
nedy. I hated to let her go.” And so on.
But Swirling never becomes entirely
Groucho—he is always just Bob Swirling
with a slight problem—and that’s what
makes the caricature believable.
.

Even Big Guys Cry (Holt, Rinchart &
Winston), by Alex Karras with Herb
Gluck, pretends to be a full-fledged auto-
biography, but at best it’s only the ex-
Detroit Lions tackle’s bitter swan song to
13 years (1958-1970) in the National
Football League.

In person, Karras is wonderfully droll;
unfortunately, little of his wit or his
deeper feelings about his scandal-marred
carcer is revealed in Big Guys. OI course,
Karras was, at the peak of his career, one
of the most feared tackles in pro football,
and guys who earn that kind of reputation
don't cry about life's insecurities. They
say "Fuck you" instead. That thick-
skinned and thickheaded psychology is
evident in Karras’ recounting of his one-
year suspension from the sport, along with
Paul Hornu for betting on pro-football
mes. Аз s describes the incidents
ading up to the 1963 suspension, it's
obvious that quite a few people, including
N.F.L. commissioner Pete Rozelle, made
sincere efforts to steer him away from
gambling and associating with reputed
Mob figures. But Karras, adopting a bel-
ligerent attitude, stupidly allowed himself
to be quoted by television and newspaper
reporters, both about his betting and
about his attitude toward the Lions’ man-
agement. He talked so much and told so
many people to shove it that Rozelle had
little choice but to suspend and fine him;
and, to this day, Karras ls to
see that he himself was partially respon-
sible for his year of misery.

After reading this book, we still know
nothing of his private life during that
grim period; we only see him working in
his tave being consoled by football
buddies. His wife, who rarely appears in
Big Guys, shows up on the final page to
tell him not to worry about being cut
from the Lions' roster. She tells him he's
free at last. But Karras still isn’t free. He
still thinks big guys don't cry.

If you decided to rip out a quick, 200-
page novel that caught the post-Sixties
generation in transition—half-hip. half-
jaded—you might take John Hersey
plot line in The Walnut Door (Knopf) as
your text. An overeducated Bennington
graduate named Elaine breaks off with
her witty lover, Greg. to make her own
way in a dedining, semiltalian neigh-
borhood of New aven. She has a
spacy encounter with Macaboy, the
locksmith-cum-doormaker. The splendid,
impenetrable walnut door he fashions for
her security from imagined threats of
violence is his phallic symbol. In fact, he

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PLAYBOY

perpetrates а fake breaking and entering.
complete with underwear sniffing, just to
get her to order the door. He is cast as
your fatally charming genius with pony-
tail and а fascist outlook that he devel-
oped during his rebellion against the
Vietnam war and everything else. Не re-
verses the lock on the new door and
imprisons Elaine in her apartment: the
princess in the tower, get it? Like a
pioneer huntsman, he shows up occasion-
ally with pizza and tacos, until she falls
in love with her captor-master jerk. The

5
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denouement. There's an annoyance that

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PLAYBOY!

he Amazing Rhythm Aces take you some-

where. Like the best of novelists and
few rock-'n“rollers, they weave real worlds
in your head, so authentic they seem to
have been there all along. You may
not know about them yet, but you've
had your opportunities. They got a Gram-
my last year for their hit single, The End
Is Not in Sight, and have three albums
behind them, the latest being Toucan Do
It Too. If you don't know their stuff, пу
this, and hear a slow bluesy shuffle, with
lambent piano and shining guitar,
heartbeat rhythm:

Standing beside the ocean, looking
across the bay

I should look for companionship,
but it just gets in my way

Lights ave flickering, all along the
shore

People dancing there, 1 don't dance
no more.

it paints images
ит some long, hot
August night at a run-down resort on
Missisippi's Gulf Coast, salt air heavy
with humidity and doom.
The Rhythm A € si
who hang around Memphi:
heart, Russell Smith, Jeff D.
Hooker, Butch McDade and Barry “Вуга
Burton. Separately, they drifted to the
university scene in Knoxville in 1968 or
so and played there in the usual assort-
ment of beer bars and roadhouses, under
ihe usual assortment of names—which I
4 them about when I tried to inter-
view all six at once, in a suite at the
genteclly declining Orington Hotel in
Evanston, Illinois, proud home of the
Woman's Christian Temperance Union.
Ace lead singer and double-ace chief lyr
Gist Smith, with a characteristic wry smile
and the shadow of a perverse gleam in
his eyes, told me:
surru: Billy and I were in a ba
Beaucoup Dap. Thats View
don't want to talk about that.
PLAYBOY: Were you in Vietnam?
sMITH: Nooo we don't want to talk
about that, either. Let's see, we were
Steel Wool Ball . . . Easter Eggs . . .
Nuclear Clyde. .
мс pave: Atomic Lid, that was a heavy

country boys

d called
mese; we

group... Columbia Night Train. . ..
PLAYBOY: Did they have different sounds

or were they just the same group?

MC pape: They represented just different,
uh, evenings... .

rLaysoy: Where were you pla
ме pape: Bars, campus bars.
Tennessee, is the home of the U
of Tennessee—

змїтн (smiling, right over Butch’s testi-
monial, an ironic hiss in his voice): The
lowest . . . campus bars.

ying?
noxville,
niversity

Toucan

n't do it, but the Aces can.

Our man tries to discover
what makes The
Amazing Rhythm Aces tick.

I ask about their influences back then.
And get back an enthusiastic blast.
aut: George Jones, B. В. King and Count

Basie . . . Beatles, Chuck Berry, Elvis
Presley Wilson Picket... Hank Wil-
liams, Bob Dylan . . . Sly Stone . . . Ray

Charles, Charlie Rich, Leadbelly

I's a good list. You can hear all of
that—plus a little bluegrass, too—in their
music, and it goes together pretty as a
patchwork quilt. Just as The Band did
more than ten years ago, the Aces have
simply absorbed what was around them
and made something wholly original from
what they took in. Even when their songs
are about the standard themes of country
music—you and me ain't get long;
Im so doggone lonely: thank ah'll git
drunk agin, etc—they write about these
laments from somewhere other than lei-
suresuited. Nashville ог beer-bellied Aus-
Like many of us, like it or not. they
rode the whoopee pipeline of the Sixties,
a swirl of bright psychedelics and black
Vietnam, and found themselves dumped
up onto the hard, empty Seventies beach
ering what the fuck came next. If
луй. And then deciding to hang
in—endure, in Faulkner's Biblical rhet-
ty. That's where they write

АЙ my life 1 been running

No place ever seemed like home to me

And I can't be happy until I find
myself some place to be.

Unfortunately, especially for the Aces,
all this talent isn't exactly tearing up the
charts. Toucan Do It Too hung by its
beak in the low 170s for а few weeks and
then fell off dead. The Aces have enough

of a cult following to get along, but 1
wondered how they felt about it.

мс DADE: We do respectibly well, you
know. We sell enough records—I think—
so that ABC doesn't lose money on us.
EARHEART: We make a livin’. We don't
drive fast cars, but we make a Ti
мити: And if you'll check and see how
much (he says the next word as if it’s a
squirming bug held by long steel pin-
cers)... hype there їз... we don't get
hyped very much. Which is just as well,
I guess.

SOMEONE: It's a two-edged sword.

змити: І don't know. On that last album,
the songs on it are a little sadder. М
people just didn't want to hear sadder
songs, that’s all.

Smith, it was no surprise to learn, given
the literary quality of his lvrics, spends
much of his R&R time reading. "I read
ll kinds of different мш” he told me.
ction, history. I read a lot of history.
1 wed to be on a big science-fiction
jag. Isaac Asimov, Poul Anderson, and 1
used to read а lot of. Robert Heinlein
And I re The

verse smile appears. "Nothin' but lust,
that's all it is. No redeeming social interest,
value or nothing—just . .- (ust. If it has
any social value at all, it’s no good. Be
cause then it’s got something in it be
sides . . . lusl. IL Y want redeeming social
value, I'll read something like
that.” Have you re уз? I ask. In
full gleam now, Smith answers, “I tried
to read Sartre and he made me so fucking
sick I puked all over the book.”

As I was leaving, 1 began mumbling
something to Smith and the rest of the
group about how much 1 like them and.
how my friends think I've gone nuts, be
cause I normally don't like anything

Smith beams. "Thats great, man," he
says, grinning. “We don't like anything.
eidh DAVID STANDISH

Steve Winwood's latest album, appro-
priately titled Steve Winwood (Island), is
one of those rare instances in which a
musician knows what he wants to say, says
it and gets on his way. There are only six
songs, mest of them around. five minutes
long. And there is a theme that runs
through most of them, not in words but
in the feeling, the rhythm, that royal
marching quality hallway to reggae that
has the formal beauty and precision of a
closeorder drill on military horses all
tricked out for parade. As you listen, you
can [eel yourself posting. Midland Maniac
is particularly like that. Strap а saddle
onto that song and you could get around
the mountain. Hold On goes all the way
to reggae in a slip-rip and slapping dance
that catches itself as it lurches forward on
the edge of stumbling. In the end, your

great-greatgrandchildren probably won't
be listening to this, but it'll take you for

pejorative in th т. Good jazz re-
quires you to t your cars а

it takes concentration. The best cocktail

jazz is marvelous filler designed to keep.

ars occupied with lovely sounds

the rest of you is occupied with

something else. Bob James plays superb

bum, Bob Jomes

Four (CTI), employs a studioful of mu-

ans to b; keyboard

James scores with number four.

activities and the wonderful solo work
of flutist Hubert Laws, trumpet Art
Farmer and guitarist Eric G
of the tunes are by James and they paint
pretty pictures: bright, moody, funky,
ethereal, take your choice—there
note anywhere. Ш you don't set
your expectations too high, you're in
for a trea
.
ight at the beginning of Derringer Live
(Blue Sky) it wouldn't seem inappro-
priate if some hyperthyroid Тор 40 jock
ne bouncing off the tweeters,
ing, "Sunday! Sund:
ее Mi
fueled funny cars!!!" And so on. The
performance is, after all, a controlled ca-
tastrophe of the first magnitude, a world-
class megawatt pandemonium fueled by
three guitars and what sounds like a fourth
member of the band (probably identified
а drummer) lobbing hand grenades and
i Tsonncl roc into
2. Beneath it all is a stiff un-
derpinning of blues—faint as а genetic

IMPORTED
from France

First, Benedictine.
Then, Benedictine and Brandy.
And now, Cafe Benedictine.

The unique coffee liqueur
with a467-year history.
Cafe Benedictine.

The only Coffee Liqueur made with Benedictine. E cee
Imported from France. 60 Proof

DECADE.

THE TASTE THAT TOOK
TEN YEARS TO MAKE.

Originally, you couldn't get real cigarette
taste without what has come to be known
as tobacco чаг The problem of reducing
this tar to5 mg. while maintaining
taste is enormous.

Thats why, when we set out to.
work, we didn't give ourselves a time
limit. It's a good thing. Because it took us
о ази пан 5 са
capable of delivering truly satistying taste
їп а mg. tar cigarette

What we mean by
“Total System?

A high filtration low "tar cigarette
isa complex system of interacting parts.

The tobacco. The filter And even
the paper.

Our objective was to focus on all
these partsand arrange them in perfect
balance with each other. Only by concen-
trating on the parts were weable to
perfect the whole.

The Tobacco. “Flavor Packing”
plus fifteen tobaccos
st taste.
We've developed a system called

"Flavor Packing" that allows us to concen-

cco flavorant

trate a special patented toba
in each Decade cigarette.

This isin addition to our special
taste blend of fifteen fine tobaccos,
including exotic Turkish, full bodied
Burley, and Bright, a tobacco known for
its smoothness

The Filter.
Unique “Taste Channel” gives
first puff impact.

The Decade filter isa combination
of modern laser technology, plus our
own exclusive research design. Simply,
we've created a channel within the filter
togive you that first puff impact you've
come to expect from only the higher ‘tar
cigarettes. Which means you get taste
from first puff to last.

The Paper. High porosity
paper controls burn rate.

For Decade we useonly high
porosity cigarette paper. Ordinary paper
inhibits the burn rate, which can dimin-
ish the taste and create the need to pull
harder when you drag

With Decades high porosity
paper however, you get an efficient burn
rate that delivers optimum taste with a
minimum of ‘tar!

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health

The result.
Acompletely new kind of low
‘tar’ cigarette.

Sotry a pack of Decade for
yourself. Regular or Menthol. And
after one taste we think you'll agree
that our last lO years were well worth
the effort.

5 mg. "tar", 0.5 mg. nicotine ave.
per cigarette by FTC method.

PLAYBOY

THE ROSES GIMLET.

THINK OF IT AS GIN OR VODKA

WITH TASTE.

4 ED.
WEST INDIA SWEETER

LIME JUIC

RECONSTITUTED

30% SUGAR ADOFO att,
DISTRIBUTED By SCHWEFT ES cent
PRODUCED FROM IMPORTE!

p» M 2

г)

Lose "ALBANS ENGLAND атне ж2
ESTO 1165

If you're partial to gin or vodka, do what
more and more people are doing,

these days— drink them with taste.
Drink the Rose's Gimlet.

The Rose's Gimlet is made with crisp,
refreshing Rose's Lime Juice. Which
smooths the taste of gin, brightens the
taste of vodka.

To make the Rose's Gimlet, simply stir
together one part Rose's Lime Juice and
4to5 pa of gin or vodka. Serve ice cold,
straight up or on the rocks.

Tonight, have your gin or vodka with

е. Have the Rose's Gimlet,

ROSE’ 5. FOR DRINKS WITHT ТЕ

memory. But over the whole thing is a
fresh, apple-candy, metal-flake, mother-of-
pearl, hand-rubbed coat of slick profes-
sionalism: Electro Plate in Blue, if you
will. The sound is so big you get the im-
pression that you're hearing a skyscraper
do the boogiestopshullle around Man-
hattan, gradually destroying itself as it
goes. To say such a spectacle is good or
bad would be gratuitous. Is the atom
bomb beautiful? Well, yes and по...
.

When we were kids, we'd nibble off
the crust of our Wonder bread and then
knead the doughy-white middle into
mushy baseballs that would be popped
excitedly into our mouths. Today, kids
listen to Peter Frampton. With God
knows how many copies of Frampton
Comes Alive! in circulation, the release
of I'm in You (АКМ) is the culmination
of the superb career orchestration that

Here he is, kids: Frampton.

has scen an eminently talented but
chronically middleweight British rocker
become the curly-haired idol of American
teens. Presumably, the kids gobble up
fan-club trinkets such as Peter Frampton
book covers and I'm im You necklaces
just as their older brothers and sisters
bought Beatles lunch. boxes, but Framp-
ton is very much a Seventies mass phe-
nomenon. His music is ultracompetent
but ultimately uninspired, pl.
the background but numbing
much exposure. For as pretty as the
shimmering guitar runs of St. Thomas
are, the impossibly syrupy melody and
sentiments that infect the tile tune
send us straight to the Sex Pistols.
.

Eugene Ormandy and The Philadelphia
Orchestra never sounded better than on
Richard Strausss Don Quixote (RCA). Add
to this the presence of Samuel Mayes, the
cellist who gives voice to the Don's plead
ing, strutting and pathos, and you have a
superb performance of one of the g
orchestral showpieces. Always involved

NUREYEV IS
VALENTINO

г —

т >“ | |

—> | " ^ > | "e m—
— eai 2 m P = ча
A ROBERT CHARTOFF-IRWIN WINKLER Production А КЕМ RUSSELL Film
RUDOLF NUREYEV "VALENTINO"

LESLIE CARON : MICHELLE PHILLIPS ana CAROL КАМЕ
Associate Producer HARRY BENN - Written by KEN RUSSELL and MARDIK MARTIN
Directed by KEN RUSSELL : Produced by IRWIN WINKLER and ROBERT CHARTOFF
[RiRESTRCTEDJ E TEES United Artists

Ever been... car-napped,
my dear?
Carnapped?
» How intriguing.

This is the new
Dodge Magnum XE.

Do you think | could. . .
slip inside?

Magnum is. . . special.

My dear . . . you've been
car-napped.

INTRODUCING MAGNUM XE.
AN EXCITING NEW CAR-NAPPER FROM DODGE.

You're looking at a magic means of
transportation. The brand-new Dodge
Magnum XE.

As mucha statement of philos-
ophy as it is a fine motor car it is
crafted in the belief that there is still
roomfor luxury and impeccable road
manners to live side by side.

Consider Magnum’s cockpit. Thin-
backed, low-profile bucket seats.

Rich carpeting. Soft tailored vinyl. A
most elegant and comfortable driving
environment.

Yet there's another side to Magnum.

Sophisticated instrumentation. The
optional tachometer The presence of
antisway bars, front and rear. Hefty
FR78X15 radials.* A strong V8 with
Chrysler's Electronic Lean Burn
System. Such things provide Magnum
XE with considerable assurance
underway.

Then there is all the electronic
wizardry. Like headlights with clear,
retractable shields. An optional
electronic digital clock with no moving
parts. An optional 40-channel CB
transceiver integrated into an AM/FM.

stereo radio (even the antenna is
automatically power-operated).

The new Magnum XE. A remarkable
automobile that beautifully combines
the attributes of a touring car with
those of a luxury car. A car that is
adventurous without being extravagant.

Itisa car that must be driven to be
appreciated. And you can do that at
your Dodge Dealer's. е
*White sidewall tires shown are
extra cost.
tNot available in high altitude
areas.

with literary symbolism, Strauss pulled out
all the stops in this 1897 version of Cer-
vame’ rambling tale of the demented
knight. Don Quixote is a tone poem push-
ing hard at the limits of musical realism,
Kind of cinematic symphony. Benjam
Folkman’s liner notes point out the op-
cratic nature of the piece and give a good
account of the ten variations that render
Don Quixote’s парісотіс quest—from
the famous battle with the windmill to the
magnificent, melodic cello finale in wl
the Don finally gropes hi
sanity, death, Ormandy has а par-
ticular affection for this music and, hence,
ieries. They are

does not stress its grotesq
astonishing enough—the dissonant bleat-
ing of sheep and the enormous wind т
c—but are made into a coherent
whole. As a bonus, RCA has captured the
Philadelphia sound in all its glory, Don't
miss it.

The disco phenomenon didn't neces
ily have a healthy effect on R&B groups
specializing in electric boogies, though it
boosted their popularity; it tended to
make smoothness an end in itself, and the
result is а stylized sameness to the neatly
manicured groups that are dominating the

irwaves. Funk has prospered—but
Enter Manchi
impossibly young group from Chicago by
way of Indiana whose music, оп Power

raw immediacy of its intemperate
home town. "You don't know me, but I'm
your brother / 1 was raised here in this
hell." An arrestin; to

introductioi
з cross rhythr
riffs, silvery elec
zzy homm and
rhythm ideas that give the lyrics extra
punch, they make their inferno a most
attractive place, indeed (of course, we ak
ns were in

arpeggios, j

w assumed the best musid:
the nether world). Its not smooth, but it's
exciting and it the sound of truth.

SHORT CUTS
Sylvester (Fantasy): Invigorating Gospel/
soul sounds by a former member of The

Cockettes, San Francisco's fabled trans-
vestite revue.

The Brothers Johnson / Right on Time
(АКМ): Quincy Jones, with his young
protégés serving as front men, takes over
the world of electroboogic.

Aalon / Cream City (Arista): Rock ‘п’

roll is evidently alive and well in Gotham.
We didn't say healthy, because that would
spoil the imag

Parliament Live / P. Funk Earth Tour (Casa-
blanca): A foursided orgy of deep funk
1 flashy insanity by Bootsy and Dr.
Funkenstein, who wants you to kiss his
(go. It’s the R&B disc of the year

D. J. Rogers / Love, Music and Life (RCA):
Love those chords and melodies; but the
lyrics aren't always worth the intensity
with which Rogers sings them.

TELEVISION

А'

Mike Nich-
ols, Shelley Ber
man and Gilda

Radner are just a
few of the names
that became housc-
hold.

the

rical company, still
alive and kic

| Chicago.
nationwide pre-
lieve of Second City
syndicated
ady un-

is the theme of
Gordon's ringing
plea for the de-
fense). A sequence
identified as “В;
Baa, Black and
White Sheep”
touts the adven-
tures of a flying.
nun, who recruits
a whole squadron
of vicious air-
borne sisters to
dogfight for our
side during World
War Two, Tunein.
*

weekly
series of origi

Visions, а

der way over var — The Second City T.V. gang. PBS dramas, won
ous outlets (check a Peabody award
your local listings and critical ap-
for precise dates plause last year
zat PI Some new students trom i! ha url
ably), should add the Second City school son (a check
some new names make the move to TV; local — schedules).
с a | p ЛЕ Der mis
oster. Jot down $ Е his year's

Joe Flaherty, Dave Visions series returns. is а аһарр
Thomas, Cath- ment. Phillip

ine O'Hara, An-

Hayes Dean's 90-

drea Martin,
pene Levy and
ndy as
gleaders among
the regularly fea-
tured madcaps
who will be dist
guishing them-
selves in the
months to come as
the underground
terrorists of televi-
sion land, A sam-
pling of early
shows in rhe first
13 weekly half
ours suggests that
regular network
TV will suffer the
he

John

With a revue
format somewhat more structured than
Laugh-In, maybe a shade less subver-
sive—so far, at least—than Saturday
Night, Second City gets going on every
subject from "Sunrise Semester" to a

iest bombardment.

dramatic hospital series called. "Unnec-
essary Surgeon” ("No ailn о small,
no fee too high" is the motto of a touchy

doctor hero who will remove anything he
pleases), followed by a spin-off from the
medical show, “Ted — Gordon—Mal-

practice Lawyer." One of Gordon's most
dramatic courtroom cases concern
mer male patient who checked i
tonsillectomy and underwent sex-cl
surgery ("He enjoys being a

Daly, Durning in The Dancing Bear. in

mute Freeman
spells out, in sim-
plistic terms, the
plight of a rebel-
lious young black
who cannot adjust
to society until his
shrewish wife has

a baby. It tells us
nothing mew, us-
ng more words

than necessary and
pounding them
home without sub-
tety, There's. bet-
ter writing and
mudh better acting
Conrad Brom-

berg’s The Danc-
ing Bear, with Charles Durning starred
50ish Hollywood bit player
who doggedly endures pul
ad risks a stroke—by d.
n kazatsky on his knees to
а ridiculoussounding new томе.
€ matters worse, he has an es-
tranged alcoholic wife (V. Bloom),
who refuses to give him custody of the
child, and a young actress friend (Tyne
Daly) who finds his hollow self-assurance
pathetic, While Durning's performance
cannot be faulted, author Bromberg over-
writes, making every actor say too much
too soon abour motives and emot
states that a more experienced writer
would reveal between the lines.

as a d

п this corner, soppy love stories
ibout doomed girls and the griev-
ing guys they leave behind are pretty
far down on the list of favorite
things. But anything can work when
the chemistry is right. So, if you
have tears, friends, prepare to shed
them without embarrassment for Bob-
by Deerfield— sensitive, poetic and
intelligently understated romantic
tragedy (freely adapted by Alvin Sar-
gent from Erich Maria Remarque's
novel Heaven Has No Favontes) |
that makes the Ali McGraw-Rya
O'Neal Love Story look like bubble
bath. Director Sydney (They Shoot
Horses, Don't. They?) Pollack never com-
promises by trying to soap up Bobby
Deerfield with hardsell sentimentality,
superficial excitement or even a strong
story line. While the hero—played with
impressive single-minded intensity by AI
Pacino—is a champion racing driver who
competes at. Monte Carlo and. Le Mans,

there's scarcely 15 minutes of footage
wasted on whizzing round the wack.
Deerfield unfolds as a series of compel-

ling oneto-one encounters between
Pacino and Marthe Keller—ás е
doomed beauty he meets in nitarium

tan injured friend—
or between Pacino and France's Anny
Duperey, as the cool, possessive camp
follower who shacks up with him in style
and roots for him on the curves. One
of the scenes most packed with insight
and revelation, however, is a painful
lunch Deerfield has with his reproachful
brother from Newark (Walter McGinn),
part of t life that he can h

remember. Very litle happens, actuall
except that Bobby—a man who is emo-
tionally half-dead, whose human relation-
ships are as mechanical as the Formula I
car he drives or the TV and
commercials he grinds out for
bread—starts coming to Ше again through
his love for an elusive, unpredictable
jet setter who acts as if she had а school-
girl crush on danger. Far from being
smitten by Bobbys macho speed-king
image, she feels he might be too boring
a companion for an entire weekend. "You
spend your whole lite trying not to die,”
she tells him, carving a notch im his
consciousness with her serewball gaicry
nd promiscuousness and. quietly desper-
e joie di As the vibrant Lillian,
fading away with an unnamed disease
that seems to be leukemia, Swiss-born
Keller adds lots of mileage to her track
record (following Marathon Man and
Black Sunday) as а European actress
clearly destined for bigtime stardom
over here. Sublimely classy but not quite
beautiful by conventional Hollywood
standards—neither was Ingrid Bergman,

where he goes to vi

vine.

o, Keller in Bobby Deerfield.

Bobby Deerfield, a classy
tearjerker; Shenanigans,
acynical comedy, and
two for Giannini
highlight this month's fare.

Forslund, Sand in Shenanigans.

neither is Liv Ullmann—Keller plays
this difficult role with such electric, glow-
ing vivacity that she even steals scen
from Pacino, a remarkable feat in itself.
Could that the movie's
moments of truth borrow a little magic
fro offscreen
mance between Keller and Pacino—pei
colating before your very eyes. with some
of Europe's storybook scenery as à back-
drop. No matter. If Cupid's arrow, taste
fully guided by Pollack, can score a

be, of course,

ro-

n the well-publicized

bull'seye with material that comes that
close
wins

to being pure bull, the audience
п the end, And Bobby Deerfield
mph of taste over tear- jerking.

.
perience pays off, sooner or late
and a wellseasoned actor starts collect-
ng his ducs. Witness the example of tl

crusty screen veteran Burgess Mere-
r candidate twice in the
past two seasons—as the fight m:
ager in Rocky and as the down-and-
out clown in The Day of the Locust.
Meredith is up to his delectable old
tricks again in Shenanigans, playing
anchor man to Ned Beatty and Rich
ard Basehart as the checkiest of three
badly bent officers in а small-town
bank. Embarrassed by the embezzle-
ment of $109,679.70 just before th
bank examiners are due to come, the
threesome. deddes to fake a rob-
bery—and while they're at
dith reasons, why not filch
hundred grand or so to make the r
worth while? Writer-director Joseph J
coby (last heard from with a small, ре:
sonable comedy called Hurry Up or ГИ
Be 30) has broadened his horizons to make
Shenanigans a highly moral social satire
about the top-to-bottom amorality of
American society today—the prevailing so-
what? attitude of this post-Watergate era
in which them that has gets, as the saying
goes, while them that has not . . . well, they
just gotta grab what they can, as in New
York last July, the instant the lights went
out. The most nearly honest man in She-
nanigans, finally. is the embezzler—played
with amiable uncertainty by Paul Sand—
a teller who tells too damned much. He
did it for practice, see, just to prove :
theory. His readiness to return the stolen
money spoils everyone's game, and little
by little, Shenanigans attracts а host of
shrewd players—induding Michael Mur-
"s young bachelor min
ister who is not above plucking a bird
from his flock: Charlene Dallas and
blonde, cuddlesome Constance Е
two comely local girls who will
nything for love if the price is right.
ilmed mostly on location in Georgia, of
all places, with Walter Lassally (cinema-
tographer of Tom Jones) behind thc
camera, Ralph Rosenblum (Woody Al-
Ісп editor) 10 keep the comic rhythm
steady and Arthur Godfrey in a cameo
role as one of the town father icoby's
Shenanigans is the kind of lowkey, jaun:
tily cynical comedy that voices criticisn

sollo voce—without preaching, without
fudging its view of human frailty as а
condition we have all learned to tolerate.
Taking our cue from TV co als,
we simply look for ways to suppress the
symptoms—until flagrant dishonesty be-
easy to live with as the sniffles
onal stomach upset.

Sit out the waltz sequence of Roseland —
the dreary fi

t episode of a threcpart
valentine to Manhattan's durable art-
deco dance palace and its light-footed.
apparently eccentric clientele—and there
will be mixed but rich rewards in two

RUM REVELATIONS.

Surprising facts every rum drinker should know.

to enhance the flavor. So discover
for yourself the dash that Myers's
addsto a simple Rum & Cola. The

Ah, what rum drinkers

time to raise some
eyebrows.

The first fact of rum.
Rum comes in three
ides: white, gold, and
rk. Some light rums are
blended to have a barely
noticeable taste. Their
flavor might fade in the
drink. But Myerssis
blended specially to be
more flavorful. The Myerss
comes through the mixer.

extra punch Myers adds to a
Planters Punch. Here are the
recipes for your pleasure.

Myers's Planters’ Punch:
Combine in shaker, 3 oz. orange
juice, juice of! lemon or lime,
115 oz. Myerss. Add I tsp. superfine
sugarand dash of grenadine. Shake
welland serve in гай glass filled

Another surprise.
Dark rum isn'tany stronger than
light rum. Both are the same
alcoholic proof. So Myers'sisn'tany

stronger, even though it has a
tastier rum flavor.

More revelation:
Myers is more expensivt
imported from Jamaica wh

It's

WORLD FAMOUS
IMPORTED

made slowly, in small batches.
The richer taste is worth the time
And the price.

Still another little known fact.
Caribbean bartenders mix Myers's
into exotic drinks made with
lighter rums. They trust Myers's

Imported by Seagram Distillers Co., 375 Park Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022, ВО Proof.

with ice. Add orange slice, cherry.

Myers’s Rum and Cola:
Into a highball glass, add 11402.
Myerss Rum. Fill glass with cola
beverage. Add slice of lemon or

lime, and stir.

And finally, one last point.
Dark rum is better to use in

ullerrum flay
y sprinkling Myerss over
grapefruit halves. It's a simple way

tocreate an interesting first course.

makes so many rum recipes

en more delicious.

So now thatyou know the facts,

your choice should be clear:
Ayers s Rum.

Because if you like rum, it's time

you discovered the pleasures that

wait for you in the dark.

Next to Myers%
Allother Rums

Seem Pale.

Next to ours,
ood

A good shirt only looks good
until you compare it to a better
one. We have a better one.

Van Heusen.

Our shirts don't cost more
although they probably
should. We labor over them,
test them, refine them, more
than any other shirt company
we know. The result is that
after 118 years of making better
shirts, were still making better
shirts.

All shirts look great out of the

package. Ours look great out of the wash.

One of our many tests is throwing
our permanently pressed shirts and our
competitions into a washing machine,
where they're pounded and scoured.

After only 5launderings, we've got
other shirts beat. Look at the 2 collars
in this unretouched photograph.

Neither one has been
ironed.

Yet ours is still
permanently
pressed. Theirs
looks permanently
unpressed.

What Paris could
learn about shirts
from Pottsville.
Paris is famous
for fashion. Our
à development center
^ in Pottsville, Pa. is
famous for technology.
While we go to Paris
frequently, we always make sure any
new fashion ideas we learn there
measure up to our standards of quality.
Because Paris doesn't have
standards as strict as ours.
When ourshirts are still bolts
of fabric, were
already inspecting
them for flaws.
е, In fact, we
4 inspect shirts 29
„ times.
Then when we
think they're per-
fect, we don't send

TEST PROGRAM CONDUCTEO BY NATION WIDE CONSUMER TESTING INSTITUTE INC.

agood shirt

enough.

them right off to the store. We test

them again.

Tous, looking good is more than a
matter of fashion. It’s a matter of quality.

“I bought one of your shirts in 1937,
and already the collar is fraying.”

Inevitably, some of the compli-
ments we get from our customers come
in the form of complaints.

The reason we had to wait 40 years
for this rather exceptional one, is that
we test our collars unmercifully against
fraying. We brush and sandpaper them
for hours.

When you get attached to one of
our shirts, we don’t want it wearing out
on you before its time.

' A button seems
likea small thing,
until its missing.

Thats why
we put 25 lbs.
of pulling

pressure on our
buttons to
make sure they

_ won't pull off. We

— also test them

| against breakage

with a hammer.

|
|
|
Я

THE VAN HEUSEN COMPANY
A DIVISION OF THE PHILLIPSVAN HEUSEN CORP.

М VAN HEUSEN

We believe in putting
as much quality in our
buttons as we do 4
in our shirts.
The only
man whos ever
uncomfortable
inour shirts is
our president.

When we
test our shirts for
comfort, we don't
use our customers as
guinea pigs. We use our president. He
wears every new model of shirt for a
week.

If he doesn’t like the fit or the feel
or anything else about the shirt, you
don’t get the shirt.

The reason we put so much into
our shirts isn't just pride in our work.
Its also common sense.

Because we know once you get a
feeling for excellence, you'll never go
back to good.

PLAYBOY

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subsequent tales concerning devotees of
the hustle d the Peabody. We'd better
make clear up front that Roseland is a
valentine edged in black—a set piece
for semisenior c ; with none of your
floor-shaking fun and games among the
disco crowd. Watching the stolid, over-
dressed, deadpan dancers who appear to
be Roseland regulars in their unnatural
habitat is at least half the fun of the
show conjured up by producer Esma
Merchant, director James Ivory and
Ruth Prawer Jhabvala. As а
moviemaking combo, the — show-struck
Merchant-Ivory team cannot resist stories
in which some social phenomenon is
studied through the colorful prism of pro
or amateur showbiz. They have been ге-
doing this number with intermittent suc-
cess for a decade or so- from Shakespeare
Wallah to Bombay Talkie—and Rose-
land ought to bring them a few rounds
of applause, despite its crucial short-
comings.

As a widow who goes awaltzing with
a fat businessman (Lou Jacobi) and

Chaplin in Roseland.

keeps imagining that she sces her late
lamented husband at every turn, Teresa
Wright italicires all the numbingly coy
aspecis of a character who is not very
interesting in the first place, But be
patient, until Broadway's Helen
lagher—sharply playing a brittle hostess
dance instructress whose job here
corresponds loosely to Joel Grey's emcee
gig in Gabaret—introduc line
Chaplin, Joan Copeland and Christopher
Walken as partners in a romantic iri-
angle, caught up in a real-life hustle.
Miss Chaplin, never better nor more
truly Chaplinesque, contemplates the
Roseland scene with eyes that express
everything left unspoken. The hustle
works on severa els, only to be fol-
lowed by veteran actress Li ila (best
remembered until now as the goodly nun.

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PLAYBOY

just once before she dies, though her
only available partner is a mousy Ише
gentleman named Arthur (David Thom-
as) who thoughtlessly predeccases her
("Не croaked, Arthur," she grumbles,
“not much of a dancer, not much of a
loss in that department”). The way Skala
plays it, old age becomes simultaneously
vali, ws and deeply poignant,
because she never allows casy sentim

lity to iron conviction that
fe itself is an act of heroism for those
who “hate sitting out.” Miss Skala rides
high to rescue Roseland from occasional
into medioa d if this bril-
liant, burnished-zold performance doesn’t
bring her an Oscar nomination, they
ought to stop giving the prize.

rnish her

and а profe:
risk condemning the п
scurity, plainly labeled BOX-OFFICE POISON,
Ye gods, who wants to sit through a boy
meetsgirl story in which the girl freaks
out while the boy swishes through his
pressions of Judy Garland, Bette
and Tallulàh Bankhead? Now thi
worst is known and you haven't I pped
the page, let's get down to business and
look at Outrageous! as a warm, funny
and suangely touching flm that is not
bout transsexuals or lunatics, though
does explore the homo-oriented night
worlds of Toronto and New York from the
ide out. Made
rector Richard Benner (and В
terfly Ward. a prize-w g collection of
short stories by Margaret Gibson), this is a
movie about people who need people
more than they need Anita Bryant au-
sades or cold-blooded institutional
Hollis McLaren, o ke C;
answer to s the outpatient
with a penchant for picking up taxi driv-
ers, and Craig Russell is nigh perfect as
the female impersonator who is usually
there when she needs him. “You're not
dead,” he tells her in one of the film's
high points—after he has given up ha
dressing to open his drag act in the Big
Apple—“you're alive and sick and living
in New York, like 8,000,000 other
people.” Outrageous! is a richly scedy
movie in the wadition of ÆA Taste of
Honey. M humor, compassion and toler-
nce still count for something, B
north-of-the- border sleeper should help a
lot to discredit the notion that €
flicks are unequivocally uncomm
.
Italy's Giancarlo Giannini, his reputa
ton established in the films of
Wermuller (The Seduction. of Mimi,
Swepl Away . .. et al), is becoming the
new Mastroianni—a La lover for the
mid.Seventies. > ioothly debonair
as Mastroianni, Giannini has the eyes of a
scolded spaniel and а touch of the com-

to instant ob-

mon man about him; even when he's cast
as a moneyed aristocrat, he moves the
male audience to empathy instead of envy
What he does to women is anybody's
guess, though growing numbers of them
appear to be getting his message loud and
dear. Two recent Italian imports suggest
that Giannini, contrary to. popular opin-
ion, didn’t merely hitch his wagon to
Wermuller’s rising star but ma
primary source of cinema. magnetism on
his own. In The Sensual Man, by
director Marco Vicario, Gian
ап archetypal Italian womanizer
Paolo, who starts comparing penis sizes
with his friends in сапу boyhood, then
weaves through young manhood and mid-
dle age as if his sense of direction came
straight from the crotch. He ultimately
tries 10 reform and reshape a misspent
life with a lovely, virginal young wile
(Neda Arneric) who has по appetite for
sex. If that’s а sign of approaching ma-
turity, Signor Vicario, give me puberty or
vc me death. Only а charchaidden coun-
ny full of practicing hedonists could

Giannini is The Sensual Man.

ange of riotous self-
almost

produce such a
dulgence redeemed—well,
lots of good old-fashioned gu

nally hoping to strike it rich. You can't

nore him. You can't disdain him. You
may even understand his high hopes,
ince he is up то his eyeballs in a bevy of
voluptuous Italian beauties—Ornella Mu-

‚ Rossana Podesta and Femi Benussi, to
ne а Ісу оғ whom any red-blooded
customer might gladly pay the wagesof sin.
's ka Grande

ile, is a much more staid affair sturing
Giannini opposite Catherine Deneuve. as
а brother and sister whose relationship
leads to а scandalous murder trial in turn-
tury Bologna. Based on the ac
1 cuc of the Muni family (with
ernando Rey as Professor Mumi, its
leader), п whose members were
powerful and so sympathetic to soc
hat a toalition of religi

connivers seized
tragedy to bring
Bourgeoise handles homicide, incest, off-
cial treachery and private intrigues with a
velvet glove. Giannini, as the wastrel son
who plots to kill his beloved sister's tyran-
nical husband, oozes headlong passion
smull, perfectly measured doses,
Dencuve—a pale hothouse rose, wi
the gutter—has never been more bi
ful. In fact, beauty hangs Tike a blanket
of broken blossoms over every frame of
the movie, making it easy to forget there's
a fairly seamy story unfolding behind all
the fine manners and stylish decor. Ennio
Guarnieri, as director of phot
and composer Ennio Monicone,
gra

visual duet with such virtuosity that they
manage to ward off depression in a true
le of suspense that was probably meant

upon their
them down,

personal
Grande

FILM CLIPS

Greased Lightning: Funnyman Richard.

Pryor tests mettle as a se s actor
and emerges on top of the heap, though
he incurs some nasty bru director
Michael (Car Wash) Schultz's merely ad-
equate biography of Wendell Scott, the
first black to become a champion stock-
car racer. In another image switch, P
Grier confidently sheds her superwor
vencer to play Scott's long-suffering lady.
Everyone comes through unscathed, at
last, except four screenwriters who share
the credit for Lightning as if inspi
had never struck.
The jeans are French cut.
So is writer-director Hugues Burin des
Roriers' slight, appealing comedy about
a group of 13-year-old garcons on a sum-
mer holiday in England, where they are
supposed to learn the language, though
they spend lots of ti
their native tongue about the girls they'd
like to fuck. It's all talk, fleshed out with
a frail subplot about two boys whose
dose friendship might reveal homosexual
tendencies . . . if they were not so young.
Burin des Roviers captures the fag end
of the age of innocence with absolute
accuracy, striving mightily to remind us
that there's more to puberty than the
simple joys of sell-abuse.

Blue Jeans:

for а 1975
Best m, but only
seeing ge S. release, this
m but gripping soap opera about
whore with heart describes how a poor
girl named survives as a Karayuki-
зап in governmentsanctioned brothels
in Sandakan, North Borneo, carly in the
20th Century. Director Kei in
«ес. condemns Japanese colonialism by

E the historic role of women re
cruited for a kind of sexual kami
mission. Exquisitely photographed,
story very sad—but sake in bottle more

Sandakan 8; Nominated
Foreign

Oscar as
now

/ODKA 80 & 100 PROOF. DIST FROM GRAIN

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8
E
é
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$
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е
5
а
$
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Ы
E

SMIRNOFF vi

FYOU HAVE
? A TASTEFOR

jw DRINK THAT MAY BE
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им The Black Mist.

2 Equal parts D
Imported Irish Mist and | B
dark Creme de Cacao
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L Yet, not to be
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J For its potency
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JJ А zesty and
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with natural overtones
of honey, herbs and
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IMPORTED IRISH MIST® LIQUEUR. 80 PKOOF. 91877 HEUBLEIN, INC.. HARTFORD. CONN. U.S.A:

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Z? Before or after "The Legendary Spirit J£ Imported Irish Mist.
dinner, it is the perfect of Man. 2 The natural taste
balance of potency W And, to" The of mead. Rediscover it in
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IRISH MIST: THE LEGENDARY SPIRIT OF MAN.

X-RATED

S Borbora Broodeast, Annette Haven
A plays a bestselling author who has
done a lot of balling and distilled it into
book form. She sits in an elegant restau-
ant, being interviewed for the u
time, and casually summons a waiter to
place her order for number 17. TI
his cue to whip open his fly and ejac
te, when ready, onto miladys crisp.
green salad. Elsewhere amid a roomful
of more conventio diners,
lies flat on top of a table while a n
customer eats hei i

with relish until he has
to come up for air. Will there be any-
thing else? he is asked. “No, thanks, just
cotfee.” Barbara Broadcast takes time out,
later on, for a heavy bondage sequence
starring porno's busybody Jamie Gillis as
the master, Constance Money as his
chained sex slave. Which happens 10 be
some footage left over from the filming
of The Opening of Misty Beethoven, last
year’s number-one hard-core hit by pro-
ducerdirector Radley Metzger, who per-
sists in billing himself as Henry Paris.
With Barbara, in a complete switch on
the wendy move toward strengthening
strong story line, Metzger
dispenses with plot, character and con-
ventional continuity to fashion a surreal
spectacular that is sexually stunning if
you just float along. Don't icok back,
Barbara Broadcast’ may simply rellect
Metzger's utter boredom with the task of
pretending that sex movies are actually
something else; it could also mark a
breakthrough into pure, unabashed por-
hography, a sensual wip to destination
zero—[unny, sophisticated, set to pulse
quickening music and as far out as 2001:
А Space Odyssey or Star Wars in the
earth-bound world of hard X.
.

ppings of an Errol Flynn pirate
epic are taken out of dry dock to freshen
up the usual hump.ind-grind routines in
Captain Lust. Touted as “history's first X-
rated swashbuckler,” producer-director
Beau Buchanan's lusty tale buckles more
often than it swashes, though the movie
has one good gimmick—in the obligatory
ch for buried treasure, the only clue
is a map tattooed, with legend in Latin,
yet, on the penis of a deaf-mute monk,
dable unless he has an erection.
Which means that the pirates are com-
pelled to kidnap a nun to do double duty
in fellatio and simultaneous translation.
Otherwise, Captain Lust proves condu-
sively that fuck-and-suck scenes performed
on shipboard are not much dife:
ent from porno grapplings performed
ashore. Most of the action occurs above
or below decks of a handsome brigantine.
But the acting is generally amateurish,
the dialog worse and the women held
captive are just passably attractive. Some
of the sea chanteys on the sound track—

Barbara Broadcast mouths off.

Meanwhile, back at the
parody, porn makers
bring us Barbara Broadcast
and A Coming of Angels.
What next—a lewd Lassie?

Charlie's were never like this.

really mean and hornyo—Qgive a new
meaning to such phrases as "Blow the
man down," Theyre all right; but the
dedicated pomophiles we know would
rather leave the theater pole-vaulting
than walk away humming the cunes.

Dutch Treat is а rude, crude little јаре
about two witless jocks named Chuck
and Barney (Roger Caine and Zebedy
Colt) who win big at the race wack and

go jetting off to Amsterdam to get laid.

They manage to make it with а number
of pimply, unappetizing local girls by
pretending to be movie producers

search of talent. They also pretend to be
funny (like Woody Allen or the old
Martin and Lewis team, according to
some recklessly optimistic program notes).
"Ehe movie ends with a threat, supposedly
a pro that Chuck and Barney will
soon retum in a sequel titled Munich
Madness. Watch this space. Or, if you
see them first, take your money and run.
.

For everything vou need to know
about producer-direcior Joel Scott's A
Coming of Angels, sce rLAYBOY's July issue
(The New Girl of Porn). Annette Ha-
ven (again), Leslie Bovec and Abagail
Clayton, three of the most comely per-
formers on the hard-core scene, are all
there—and all here, going and coming
a trio of special police agents assigned to
break up a gang led by a macho menace
lis, again) who sells women into sexual
slavery. Any resemblance 10 TV's Char-
Нез Angels may be purely intentional,
but Scott doesn't follow his impudent
premise through. His story lacks sus-
pense, dear continuity and well-paced
action—except in the sack—and Angels
is edited with too many llashbacks 4
arty flourishes. Forget the plot
pretty piece of porn has the air of a
dass act with no dramatic climax, and
a film maker who undertikes to tell a
detective story assumes certain responsi
ilities toward the form—which means
got to do more than whip out some
dicks in every reel.

Vanesso, made in Europe and skillfully
dubbed into English, is subtitled "X.
Comes of Age.” Well, not quite. But the
movie's soft-X tale features vibrant Olivia
scal as а conventeducated virgin who
discovers that she has inherited a vast
fortune from a chain of brothels in
crazy” Hong Kong. Her bequest also in-
vast rice plantation operated by
her late father's bastard son, a handsome
devil who's not eager to give up his lush
domain. “Money is in fucking. not
ing,” says one of Vanessa's financial ad-
visors. The plucky young heiress wants it
all, however, and manages to get what
she wants without even losing her maid.
1d—though she is frequently
d survives a black-magic native
own as the fire of the thighs.
Vanessa offers glamorous erotica in the
Emmanuelle manner, with breath-
landscapes and many unobstructed
of Olivia, who has the face of a madonna,

cludes:

arm-

епи
saulied.

PLAYBOY

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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

FRecently, Г divorced my wife of three
years and, quite frankly, I feel lousy. We
used to get it on every night and, though
the relationship turned bad toward the
end, the sex was always great. Now I
might as well be a monk. I thought it
would feel great to be free of that wom.
an, but now I'm not so sure. Can this
sudden abstinence be dangerous to my
mental or physical health?—Kk. las,
Dues

According to medical
situation is normal (i
Dr. Leon Salzman, writing in Medical
Aspects of Human Sexuality, claims that
“while there is no discernible physical
damage due to abstinence or sexual frus-
tration, the interruption of an established
sexual patlern may produce restlessness,
irritability, depression, insomnia and a
general aura of tension, These symptoms
will invariably produce discomfort, mild
or severe depression and some somatic
malfunctioning.” That’s medical jargon
for an acute case of horniness. Other re-
search suggests that you should not let
the condition continue. In “The Broken
Heart; The Medical Consequences of
Loneliness,” Dr. James J. Lynch points
out that loneliness and social isolation are
one of the leading causes of premature
death. Our favorite chapter in the book
is titled “The Lonely Heart, the Broken
Heart and Sudden Death.” The good
doctor is not talking about a pro-bowl
play-off. Data from the National Center
for Health Statistics reveals that the
death vate of men aged 15-64 who were
single, divorced or widowed is signifi-
cantly higher than that of people living
together. (For example, divorced men die
of heart disease at twice the vate of mar-
ried men.) So rally. Find another woman.
Or two. Or three. Inform the next girl
you meet of these gruesome statistics. If
she doesn't surrender, she can be arrested
for negligent homicide.

experts, your

all fucked up).

V will be traveling to Great Britain in
the near future and would like to vi
one of the famous London casinos. 1
been told that one has to register in
lvance. 1 would appreciate any infor-
mation you can give mc.—M. М. Cor-
aopolis, Pennsylvania.

Just so you won't go wandering around.
in а London Јов, here ате some of the
rules that govern English gaming: All
players have to register at the casino of
their choice at least 48 hours before they
start gambling. You should be prepared
to pay with cash or traveler’s checks for
all chips and tokens prior to play. The
British tend toward the classic gentle-
men's games—singlezero roulette, bac-
carat and blachjack—that do not give

the house undue advantage over the
clientele. Tipping of casino employees
is not allowed. If you get the idea that
оиу British cousins aye not interested in
becoming the Vegas of the North Sea,
you're correct. Who needs Wayne New-
lon, anyway?

Courentty, т am attending medical
school and have come up with a prob-
lem that may stump even The Playboy
Advisor. One of the upperclassmen
always gives his address as “between sec-
ond and seventh.” When asked what he
means, he says to check Gray's Anatomy.
I decided to ask you. What docs he
mean by that cryptic phrase?—G. D., Bos-
ton. Massachusetts.

He lives in our neighborhood. Medical
siudenis, art students and, indeed, any-
one wilh а рат of сусу learns that. the
female breast is usually situated between
the second and the seventh vib, with the
nipple located at the fifth rib. The ad-
dress is the same, but the Zip Code (the
Unzip Code?) varies from girl to girl.

е my position to its fullest advantage.
however, worried about the chances
of соттас venereal disease. A friend
told me that if you wear a condom during
lovemaking, then wash yourself with
good antiseptic soap and urinate imme
ately after sex, the chances of contracting
a dread social disease are almost поп-
меш. Is that wue?—J. D, Aspen,
Colorado.

The technique won't ensure safety, but
it will decicase the chances of your

catching a venereal disease. Condoms have
always enjoyed a reputation as а preven-
live measure, but they are actually effec-
live only for intercourse and then only if
used correctly, Still, that's better than
having it turn green and fall off; so, by
all means, follow your friend's advice,

МУ...: the story on direct-dise record-
ing? I came across an album that wa
produced in this fashion. The price tag
was a hefty $15. What kind of process
would justify that price2—T. P. Port
land, Oregon,

Today, most albums are first recorded
on tape. After final mix.down, one or
more master discs are made, from which
the records that grace your turntable are
pressed. Direct-dise recording does what
Nixon wishes he had done—it eliminates
the tape. Producers record directly onto
the master disc. Great care is taken at
cvery step and, since there ts only one
master, the total number of albums
that can be pressed is fairly small. In a
sense, you ave buying a limited-edition
record. Purists like direct-dise records
for the sound quality—in bypassing the
lape stage you avoid potential tape hiss
and other audio clutter. So far, the selec-
lion of direct-disc albums is disappoint
ing—you won't find Led Zeppelin
pinning its hopes on a one-take situation
that does not allow for mixing.

Нас; а complex sexual problem that
I'd like to ask you about. I have a very
strong black-leather fetish. 1 fantasize
about making love to a girl while dressed
in a tight black-leather suit, black-leather
gloves, blackleather boots. The suit
would be adorned with swastikas. death's.
heads and twin lighting bolts. I'm not a
sadist (believe it or not). but I do like to
be aggressive in bed. I love the Ge
id SS uniforms in the old
even though there isn't really enough
leather in them for my taste. Also, I'm
not gay (believe it or else). 1 want to
Start wi ng black leather in bed and

pants, boots and subtle Nazi regal
leather in fashion enough for me to carry
it off without attracting undue attention?
Am I perverted? Are there others like
me?—S. O., New York, New York.

The only group with a law against
black leather is the American Motorcycle
Associalion—it does not allow racers to
wear albblackleather suits for fear of
giving the sport a bad name. (Wimps!)
Other than that, you are far from alone
in your fascination with it. As far as
fetishes go, it is one of the most popular.
Leather conveys an image of aggressive

PLAYBOY

power and, being skin, transmits the
body's natural sex odors. The Pleasure
Chest Sales Company, 120 11th Avenue,
New York, New York 10011,
booming business in mail-order custom-
made leatherwear. You might be able to
contact other people with your interest
through a newspaper called the Fetish
Times. (M's published by the B & D
Company, Box 7109, Van Nuys, Cali-
fornia 91409.) Before you take your ош-
fits onto the street, a word of caution.
There is no such thing as subtle Nazi
regalia, Someone might take offense and
you could end up with a case of legion-
папе’; disease.

Ok. Playboy л

docs a

isor. Can you tell me
why light meat is light and dark meat,
dark?—L. G., Evanston, Illinoi:

Is that a sex question? No? Then here
goes: Some muscles are required. to work
slowly for extended. periods of time,
others are required 10 move quickly in
short bursts. “Slow fiber,” as it is called,
contains a substance called myoglobin,
which is similar to hemoglobin, the sub-
stance in blood that carries oxygen.
Myoglobin binds with oxygen better than
hemoglobin and provides an oxygen ve-
serve needed. to operate certain muscles
properly. Since myoglobin is pigmented,
muscles that contain a high slow-fiber
content are dark. In the red meats—in
all mammals, т fact—the slow and fast
fibers are mixed together, giving the
meat its homogenous color.

clear up а little disagree-
п me and my boyfrie

F nope you
t berw

king love. However, on
really blew my mind.
me for m
п the rag the n
Then, to make th
that he wouldn't go down on me. None
of my past lovers ever let this come be-
current boyfriend
bout it. My ques-

started

tween us—but my
seems to be hung up
tion is this: Is there
down on a girl w

period? This question

because 1 know myself that there's noth-
ing wrong in it, but he won't believe
me. Besides, if a girl's only h for
five days of the month, th no

good ага Мі 5. B., Tucson, Arizo

Down, girl. You are partially correct.
The blood and tissue passed during mei
strualion is sterile and. poses no threat
10 the health of anyone who comes into
contact with it. Lovemaking and gentle
oval sex are generally safe. However, vig-
orous oral sex during menstruation does
pose a slight problem to your health,
During menstruation and pregnancy, air
may pass through the lining of the placen-
ta into the blood stream. The resulting
embolism can be fatal. Admittedly, that is

a vare occurrence (it can be avoided simply
by not forcing air into the vagina. Your
lovers should never blow the woman
down). Meanwhile, back at the ranch:
You may have а problem you don't real-
ize. You say that you always go down on
cach other, When someone breaks a rigid
pattern, the partner usually takes it per-
sonally as a sign of dissatisfaction, bore-
dom or neurosis. Try to be more flexible
and your boyfriend may respond in kind.

МІ, wite ana 1 r

1 about a new fad—

that of women nipples
pierced and then p rrings in
them. At first, we didn't believe it; then

we saw some photographs of women with

nipple rings. The whole idea seems very
erotic 10 us. My wife wants to ha
nipples pierced. Our problem

wev surgeons; none have
heard of the practice nor will agree to
do the job. It seems to us that the tech-

i. Can you please tell us if
the piercing сап be done at home and, if
so, the proper and safest way to do it?—
R. C., Detroit, Michigan.

There's a good reason for the doctors
refusal to pierce your wife's nipples. Nip-
ples are not cars (you heard it here first,
folks). They are composed of elastic tissue
of the type found in the penis and the
clitoris, This tissue becomes filled with
blood when stimulated to arousal, mak:
ing excess bleeding а distinct. possibility.
Since clastic tissue isn't very strong, there
is an cver-present danger of tearing a
bejeweled nipple either by a purposeful
tug or by an accidental snare. An infec-
tion could be treated, but the resultant
scar tissue might dog the milk ducts and
make nursing difficult. All in all, nipple
piercing is a risky business. If it's a fad
you're looking for, we suggest. matching
skate boards,

V have often n

а 1 die phrase three
sheets in the wind used to refer 10
someone who has had too much to
drink. Would you please tell me what
bed sheets flapping in the breeze have to
de with drunk ‚ Imperial
Beach, Californi;
The phrase harks back to the days
when sailing ships ruled the seas. The
sheet referred to is a line that’s attached
10 the corners of a зай. Tightening or
slackening the sheet controls the set of
the sail, and when the sheet is allowed
to run free, the sail is said to be “in the
wind.” When all three sheets are in the
wind, the sails ave fluttering uncontrolla-
bly and the ship tends to follow a wobbly
course reminiscent of a drunken stagger.

For some time, I've tried to lead the
lifestyle of a veteran of the sexual revolu-
tion. Гуе dated countless girls and en-
gaged in sex with most of them. How.

over the past few months. 1 seem to be
spending most of my time with the sume
girl. It’s almost as if I believed in monog-
amy. which Г don't. Occasionally, I go
out for onea h other girls,
but, inevitably, 1 find myself thinkin
my steady date. Does this indicate that
we should get married?—G. H.. Mobile.
Alabama.

Sure; then, when you make love to your
wife, you can think of all those other girls.

Sometimes I worry that 1 may be beset
by impotence. It hasn't happened yet,
but I'm prepared for the day it does. It
s to me that there is a simple cure
npotence. Am crection is the result
of blood trapped in the penis—which is
that can expand to hold
the surge of blood. Well, what would
happen if you added an extra pint of
blood to your system? The blood would
have anywhere to go except to the pe
the spot you needed it most. A man
could stop by his doctor's office, s:
her up.” then walk out with a semipe
manent erection. Will my theory workz-
C. D., Arlington, Virgin

Hey, guys, dean ир your act. Every
lime we check out one of these crank
theories (Hey. doc, l've got this friend
who has а problem”), the medical expert
just nods and says, “Sure, and when did
you first start suffering from it?” The
doctor we consulted about your theory
reported that the body doesn't work that
way. The extra blood would not proceed
directly to the penis. (It would not pass
Go. It would not collect 5200.) H the
trapping mechanisms (the valves that
lighten to close off the veins al the base
of the penis) do not operate, there will
be mo erection. The failure, when it
occurs, is almost always psychologically
inspired. And with your worries, you're
well on your way. As a final word. it was
widely reported that athletes at the Mon-
treal Olympics were experimenting with
blood recycling (taking out a pint of
their blood, letting the body recover,
then adding the extra pint shortly before
competition. They were from Transyl-
таша). The doctor didn't notice any
semipermanent erections among the mar-
athon runners, but then, he wasn't look-
ing. Next.

elastic or

All reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquetle—
will be personally answered if the writer
includes a stamped, self-addressed en-
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 №. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent q ill
be presented on these pages cach month.

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THE PLAYBOY SEX POLL

an informal survey of current sexual attitudes, behavior and insights

Louis XIV never got tired of doing it

в bed. The Sun King, who was one of
the great fuckers of the 17th Century
had 413 fancy beds in which to enjoy
his countless seductions. Also, the ruler
had the entire wealth of France to play
around with, so his beds could be rather
fantastic.

But for us mere commoners, if our
bunk at home gets monotonous, we can't
afford to add another four-poster to our
collection. So we use our imaginations,
which have gotten pretty vivid since the
new sexual openness took hold. The
“Why don't we do it in
We haven't noticed too many
people doing it there, so we decided to
find out just where they do do it.

We asked 100 men and 100 women
where they most enjoyed making love
other than in bed. We wanted favorite
settings for on-location shooting.

We not only wanted to know our vol-
мисез own preferences but we also
asked them what their lovers favored.
‘The answers were so interesting that we
decided to split the survey into wo pants.
This month's Sex Poll reveals where
women think their lovers like to play
outside of bed and where men actually
prefer to make Iove. Next month, we will
present the men's suspicions and the
women's confessions. Read on.

the road?’

WHERE DO YOUR LOVERS
MOST LIKE TO MAKE LOVE
OTHER THAN IN BED?
(Asked of 100 women)

Seventeen percent of the women with
whom we talked said that men wanted
| at the beach. Some of their re-
marks follow: "Every guy I've ever met
who had any kind of romantic streak in
him always wound up taking me to the
shore and seducing me within a few
weeks of our meeting. Their cocks get
rejuvenated by the waves" "My boy-
friends seem to get it up more at the
ocean. I think they get turned on by the
thought that someone might see them
and they want to make sure there's
something to w

Fifteen percent of the women said
that guys really got off in the shower:

“Most fellas adore the shower, particularly
if it’s а new affair. It allows them to get
a really intimate handle on my body by
soaping me, playing with my tits and clit
and showing how free they are.

Fourteen percent of the women found
that men leaped at the chance to have
sex in a car: “We always seem to end
up there, so I guess it really tums them
on." "I date professional truck drivers,
whose favorite sex place is in their cabs,
getting head from me as we tool along
the highway. None of the other motor-
ists can see us, because we're up too
high, but if we pass another truck, that
driver can see what we're doing. We
nearly caused a few ac

Twelve percent of the women told us
that men liked it in airplanes: “I've neve
met a guy I went away with on a pl
who didn't want to e sex in the air.
They want to show the untouchable
stewardesses that they have a girl who'll
do absolutely anything.

Eight percent of the women noticed
that men liked lusting in the woods: “If
а man makes love to me in the woods,
theres always the possibility that some-
Ш stumble on us right as he's
g me the leaves. I think the
у of discovery is always a great
turn-on.”

Seyen percent of the women told us
that guys were into forking them on the
kitchen table: “I think they are playing
the invader. The kitchen is traditionally
à woman's domain, so if a man is screw-
ng me in the center of ‘my world,’ he's
really on top—literally and. figuratively.”

Seven percent of the women found
that guys went erotically wild in the
dies rooms of restaurants: “It's always
my idea, at first, but when they give in,
they love the incredible publicity of it—
the thought that anybody could walk in
nd hear him pounding away at me in опе
of the stalls. What n intruder going
to say? She'll be outraged, but I've no-
ticed that ladies who catch my lover and
me furiously fucking away in the ladies’
room are so fascinated that by the time
they call the manager, we're done.
Five percent of the women said that,
for guys, office eroticism was the best: “I'm
a businesswoman and. from my experi
ence, men love to stick their pricks into
any willing woman in the office. They're
hung up on that, because ivs a place
connected to power and the establish-
ment and they think, ‘If I can get aw:
with this here, then I can put anything
over on the csi
Five percent of the women һау
nced exceptional male ardor on the
‘The floor gives them a feeling of
power—as they're thrusting furiously
down me, they {cel like rapists.”

Three percent picked out elevators:
“It takes all the responsibility away from
a guy if he shoves it to me in an elevator.
All he has to do is yank down my
panties and give me the old in-and-out. No
foreplay, no nothing. Which, in this case,
also has its ups and downs, And then,
there's the chance of discover

Two percent did their snuggling in
sleeping bags: “Му lover craves zipping
us both into an enormous double sleep-
ing bag. Then we give cach other head
until we've both climaxed so often that
the bag is saturated with the smell of
se:

ре!

floor

One woman said her lovers craved sex

in chairs, rockers or any kind of seating
apparatus: “The pressure on all the егор.
enous zones is terrifically different in

PLAYBOY

sitting positions and my cooze is easier
for his whang to slide into.

The rest of the sample discussed a
variety of favored locales: “I always have
a juicy time in fancy restaurants, because
І get down under the table and suck
my lover's dick until he comes in my
mouth. He can't possibly keep a straight
face. And I've never known a guy who
wasn't simultaneously embarrassed and
in rapture." "Several of my lovers have
aken me to their parents home and
stripped me down in their childhood
bedroom, pummeling me unmercifully
with their rods, surrounded by old base-
ball photos. 1 think it's their way of
xorcising their guilty memories of child-
hood masturbation.

WHERE DO YOU MOST LIKE
TO MAKE LOVE
OTHER THAN IN BED?
(Asked of 100 men)

Fifteen percent of the men with whom
we talked loved sex in the shower:
When my lover takes my dick in her
wet, warm hands and slowly brings me
то the edge of orgasm with soap, we then
lie down on the shower floor and fuck,
and let me tell you, I never dimax so
powerfully in bed." “Blow jobs in the
shower are incredible. My cock being
sucked by a liquid mouth and streams
of water pouring on mc—its total
eroticism.’

Fourteen percent of the men we que-
ried craved balling at the beach: “On
the sand at night, the cool breezes chill
our hot, sweaty bodies and we feel every
tingle as we run our hands and lips all
over each other.” "In the daylight.
"There's a certain thrill of danger—maybe
someone will catch me sucking her tits
or sce me getting head.”

Twelve percent of the men were turned

on to getting off in the woods. The L. L.
Bean brigade made the following claim:

"Woods are more sensual. There's so
much going on around you—smclls,
sounds, colors—so the feel of my pecker
her bush becomes ten times more in-
tense because of the total impact on the
body. Except for the bugs. I hate the
bugs.

Eleven percent of the men were driven
sexually crazy in cars: “Back seat or
front seat, it doesn’t matter. The thought
of being able to stop anywhere at all
and Tuck ourselves silly is as much of a
turn-on as the slick leather upholstery
against our naked skin. Besides, I love
the smell of sex permeating the air the
whole ride home.”

Ten percent of the men fayored fuck-

ing in the
women tight in the office w
work is like saying, ‘I can do
here—I'm omnipotent with my
nd my stall, 1 conquer them.’ "

ight percent of the men ме inter-
1 preferred. screwing on the floor:
into machismo. When I grab a
off her clothes and roughly
ge my prick into her on the floor, I

want
rod.

feel like I'm acting as nature always in-
tended

me to be—wild, lusty and

Seven percent of the men got high
rom making it on airplanes: “They're
an aphrodisiac. The excitement of going
somewhere quickly must add to the thrill
of teasing her tits with one hand and her
cunt with the other and then banging
her quietly. Hoping that no one will
notice.” “I find it easier to let go in an
airplane. My cock goes rigid with excite-
ment the second we take off. Whatever
you do up there doesn't count, so why
not do everything, sexually? It's amaz-
ing how many women are willing.”

Five percent of the men were into
making love in sleeping bags: “The con-
trast is half of the turn-on. Gold air, a
cozy bag and the naked body of a woman
pressed tightly up against mine in а small
space. I feel welded to my lover.

Two men thought the bathtub was the
bes: "A decadent, Old World-seducer
fecling sweeps over me if I'm lying in a
candlelit tub with my lover, sipping fine
wine from stemmed glasses while we're
teasing each other's genitals with ош
toes.”

Another two respondents liked to do
it on the roof: “Taking a mauress out
onto the roof and screwing wildly under-
neath the hot city sky, knowing thar
anyone could see you. is one of the most
enjoyable methods of laying away a
summer night.

Two percent liked the kitchen table:
“I pretend. Em a cannibal and my wom-
an isa piece of meat. And then T skewer
her on the kitchen table like she was a
succulent shish kabob, Really plays into
my edible complex.” Two percent По
icked in swimming pools: "We're totally
weightless, so I can maneuver my cock

into her cunt in sexual positions that
And another
rocks off

are imposible on land."
two percent liked to get their
im а hotrock sauna: “Although
to breathe, the heat makes the ined
sensuality of our dripping bodies so
more erotic—fucking becomes slow, de-
liberate and thick.”

Two brave souls let it all hang out in
a hammock: "lt tests my sexual ingenu-
ity. I can dork her through the holes, on
top of her, and the thing is bouncing
any minute wc might get thrown
in the middle of some wacky

The rest of the sample gave varied
replies: "We don't get a chance to do

this very often, but the favorite sex spot
for me and my girlfriend has been in
front of the basement elevator in her
apartment building, late at night. We do it
while very stoned, and the intensity of the
hot, open basement, coupled with sounds
of the upstairs neighbors, makes it a rare
treat.” “Sailboats are my most romantic
place to have sex. The utter silence is
broken only by my lady's moans beneath
me and the lapping of the waves agai
the boat, my tongue against her clit.
“There's а doorway at 34th Street and
Lexington Avenue in New York City,
right across the street from my apartment
building, where I love to fuck. I pull up
her skirts, with my back to the street,
nd squash her against the door as I
hammer her from behind." "Up against
пу wall is а real turn-on, Makes me feel
like a lusty sailor who's so horny he's
100 impatient

to find а room.” “T like
it in overstuffed chairs, They're almost
like a bed, but they're not, so fucking
becomes more illicit and exciting. Also,
her cunt becomes more accessible И I
drape her over the arms.

Summary: James Thurber once ob-
served, “The old fashioned girl yielded
хо a man's embrace as if she were slowly
lowering herself into a tub of cold
You can forget the "as if
Chances are the modern lass will be low-
ng herself into something liquid, if
not cold. One third of the men loved the
wet and wild side of sex. Whether it was
on the beach, in the shower, in a
pond. in the surf, in a pool, liquid is
clearly associated with lust And the
women accurately assessed their lovers’
preferences.

М
talked expressed a strong opinion that
“guys like to ball wherever there's the
risk of strangers’ stumbling upon the ac-
tion.” Almost half mentioned spots where
the risk of exposure was a strong possi-
bility. Women go braless, wear see-
through clothing, go topless оп beaches
and generally can be overtly sexual
ways that would be considered реси
if not illegal, for men. There are few
opportunities for a male with a he
sex drive to express his exh
tendencies, to satisfy his far
ing watched by strangers, Apparently, he
can pretty much get away with it if a
woman is part of his act.

ny of the women with whom we

Almost all of the 200 people with whom

we spoke said that through extensive loca-
tion fucking, they had uncovered new
and unusually passionate depths to their
personalities that they had not realized
existed before. V fresh erotic
spirit sweeping through our lives, it's no
wonder that our high-octane sex drives
have raced us right off the old standard
roadbed into new crogenous terrain.
After all, with the throttle wide open,
why not do it in the road? 8

— HOWARD SMITH

h the

Che Baro

ыыы

@ !
E

For me—only the best

бал Rorfumes ne.

Itisa bitof a surprise, we suppose. their lofty prices— dont really measure up to
Panatela slacks and tops fit like Levis. And Рапаіејаѕ combination of superb fabrics and
wear like Levis. But they dont look like Levis, contemporary styles.
which can take some getting used to. The fact is, good taste and sound construc-
Especially if you've been investing large tion and fiscal sanity can be combined in a
sumsof money in “dressy” clothes that—despite single garment. Called Levi's Panatela.

Yes, Levi's Pafiatela!!

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

a continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers

WOMEN AND PORNOGRAPHY

I read with interest the letters about а
women’s lib group in San Diego protest-
ing a “flasher” doll called Uncle Sher-
man (The Playboy Forum, August).
Don't those women realize that in trying
to suppress a doll because it offends them
they are joining forces with the oppres-
sive elements in this country that advo-
cate censorship? Those same elements
fight tooth and nail against abortion,
against equal rights for women and
against sexual freedom for all of us
Strange bedfellows.

David Williams
St. Paul, Minnesota

TRAGIC ROLE

I always knew there was something
wrong with the women's lib picture of
men as ruthless aggressors and dictators,
but I couldn't pin it down. It just didn't
scem to fit me or any of my male friends.
Now Гуе found at least one psychologist
who agrees with me. Dr. Herbert Goldber
of California State University, Los Ange-
les, told a scientific gathering last M.
Rather than being top dog and exploi
ive, most men operate as masochists and
are constantly involved in proving some-
thing and in self-denial.

In an example of a man taking a
woman out on a date, Dr. Goldberg
showed that a woman can go with the
llow, benefit from the male's good. deci-
sions and put him down for his bad ones,
while the man takes all the responsibility
and docs all the work;

HE: What would you like to eat?

sue: Just about anything is fine
with me.
ue: I know good places for СІ

nese and Italian.

Oh, I like both. Whatever
you prefer.

"By the time he gets to Mama Gio-
anni’s Italian Restaurant, he's going to
ve as heavy an involvement. with the
food as if he'd cooked it," Goldberg said.
Any man who's done extensive dating
will recognize that situation.

Everyone has noticed that women tend
to live longer than men. The reason for
too, is built into the male role as
constructed in our society. A m
pretend he is invulnerable, and this
produces a lot of self-destructive habits,
such as: “proving he can stand pain,
forcing himself to be hyperactive and to
resist or not admit fatigue, declining to
seck a doctor's help and being emotionally

has to

repressive, and therefore vulnerable to
alcohol, drugs and psychosomatic dis-
orders.
Goldberg’s conclusion is, “АП of this
adds up to a zombielike male experience.
I perceive the male as profoundly self-
destructive, more a masochist than а self-
aggrandizer. He burns out early.
This concept of a person trying to act
ош а script others have written may be
overly gloomy in spots, but I do think
it comes closer to the truth than the pi
me of the male as а chauvinistic pig.
The malc role is a tragic one.
Robert Lewis
Chicago, Illinois

“Не lay on top of me
and told me to wrap my
legs around his."

SINGLE AND LONELY

I had to laugh alter reading the letter
in the August Playboy Forum from the
guy who was 27, made $30,000 a year,
drove a Porsche and had had only four
women in his life. Does he also have four
legs and two heads? I'm 23, make $14,000
a year and drive a Chevy. Back in 1975, I
lost my first wife and started to think
there wouldn't be another woman in the
world for me, But a year later, І started

to look aro in. In less than six
months, | had been to bed with 16
women, none of whom were prostitutes
or drunks, and I didn't catch anything
from any of them, either. I'm no great
ladies’ man; in fact, during my marriage
I never had sex with anyone but my
wife. I'm now happily remarried and
satisfied once again with just опе woman.
But I do know that it's easy enough to
have as much sexual activity as you want,
long as you're friendly, respectful and
honest.

(Name withheld by request)
Salt Lake City, Utah

FIRST-PERSON SENSUAL

A number of letters to The Playboy
Forum have dealt with people's first sex-
ual experiences. There was a lerer in the
August Forum from an elderly gente-
man who described doing it with two
girls in his grandmother's barn, There is
a special charm about stories like that;
they take us back ro our own. fumbling
st steps in se
My first sexual experience was in the
back seat of a 1950 Chevy. I was at a
slumber party and a fellow named Pete
approached’ me and suggested we go out
to his car.

He had me talked into going all the
way. We climbed into the back seat to
have more room. 1 was trembling from
head to foot. My legs wouldn't open and
I didn’t know where to put them. Не
took down his pants and that was the
first time I'd ever seen an erect penis. It
looked enormous. 1 was terrified. I knew
he was experienced, but he didn't know
I was a virgin. He lay on top of me and
told me to wrap my legs around his. I
did, and then he tried to put it in. It just
wouldn't go. He asked me if Га ever
done it before and I said yes. He told
me to relax and he finally gor it He
came and I cried.

1 never told him I was a у
bleed while we were m ng it, but later
1 found blood on my panties. He took
те home and told me not to worry, that
next time it would be better and, be-
lieve me, it was. He never let on that he
knew I was a virgin, but he never asked
me who my first fellow was. either.
ie withheld by request)
Missouri

rgin. I didn't

THE BIG BANG
This isn’t just my complaint; it's that
of other wives as well. Many times, I

PLAYBOY

have gone down on my husband, with no
urging on his part. and enjoyed doing it.
But many, many times, when I feel just
as horny as he docs, he refuses to recipro
cate. Cunnilingus is just Latin to him.
Why do men secm to think that their
climaxes leave everyone within a mile
radius satished? If men had penises as
big as their egos, we women could throw
away our vibrators.

(Name withheld by request)

Bettendorf, Iowa

RELUCTANT SWINGER

Several wives who are, like me, in-
volved in swinging have encouraged me
to send this. My husband got me into
swinging about four years ago. | agreed
only because I was afraid of losing him.
And that is the only reason 1 go on do-
ing it.

The scenario usually gocs like th
My husband finds another couple
through an ad and, aft
meeting, we go to their house for dinner.
This agreement to meet a second time
means that the wife exchange for sexual
purposes is agreed, though no mention
of sex has been made.

We may spend three or four hours in
casual conversation before the host leads
me to the bedroom. I remove my clothes
and he then uses my body for whatever
ure he desires. He
ever kind of foreplay
please him, I will do whatever he
ny part of his body. He may mastur-
bate me or ask that I do it in front of
him. We may have intercourse genitally,
orally or anally, as he prefers. If his wife
wishes to join us, 1 do not object, Mean-
while, my husband is cither watching
these activities or engaging in them with
the host's wif

My husband thinks I am getting pleas-
ure from these encounters. If he ever
listened dosely or watched my eyes when
we discussed swinging, he would know I
was ashamed.

(Name withheld by request)
North Highlands, Californi

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT

As а prisoner in the Maine State Pris-
on, 1 was particularly disturbed to read
that the state legislature has rejected a
bill that would have permitted conjugal
visits by prisoners’ wives.

For all the negative things you read
about Mexican prisons, the
allow conjugal visits and have,
to New Times mi reci
rate of six percent, as compared with
an American rate of 37 percent. How
else explain. this wide discre] i
figures except by
cans help rel te
while Americans punish them? Our sy
tem promotes homosexuality, prison
riots and marital breakups. In the end,
everybody loses, including society, which
must support the wives and children of

FORUM NEWSFRONT

what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas

SEX OBJECTS
Police in California have arrested a
man accused of molesting a mannequin
in a local department store. According
10 a security officer, the suspect was seen
fondling one dummy, peering up the
dresses of two others and then exposing

himself. A police-department invcstiga-
tor, commeniing on the unusual nature
of the alleged sex crime, said, “This is
the first of a series of none, I hope."

GETIING A ROCK OFF

sacraMento—According to police,
two rape victims were able to over-
power their armed attacker when he
became carried away during the sex
act. After taking the young women into
e they
had been sun-bathing. the rapist forced
them at gunpoint to engage im sex.
But while assaulling one victim, he
closed his eyes long enough for the
other to sock him in the head with a
rock.

some bushes near the river wh:

PUTTING THE SQUEEZE ON ANITA

SAN FRANCISCO—A $3,000,000 civil
rights suit has been filed in Federal
court against Anita Bryant and several
others, charging that they created an
atmosphere of hatred and incited the
murder of а San Francisco homosexual.
The suit was filed by the 73-year-old
mother of the victim, a city gardener
who was fatally beaten and stabbed by
four youths reported by witnesses to
have shouted “Faggot, faggot!” and
"Here's one for Anita!” during the

attack. Other defendants are Bryant's
husband, her media manager, her Save
Our Children organization, California
slate senator John Briggs (sponsor of
an antihomosexual bill) and the four
suspects charged with the murder.

HOMOSEXUAL DISCRIMINATION

Despite Anita Bryant's antigay cam-
paign, a majority of Americans not only
believe that homosexuals suffer the
greatest amount of discrimination т
this country but would favor a law
that “outlawed discrimination against
homosexuals in any job for which they
are qualified.” A Harris survey found
those positions held by 55 and 51 per-
cent of the public, respectively, but
also found that similar majorities op-
posed hiring gays for jobs that would
bring them into close contact with
young people.

HOUSEWIFE POLICY

SEATILE—A county court has ruled
that the Old Line Life Insurance Com
pany of America wrongfully refused to
insure a woman against the loss of her
services as a homemaker. The applicant,
a Seattle housewife, had sought $200,000
coverage on the ground that, if she died,
her husband would need at least 520.000
а year to replace her homemaking serv-
ices and see her three children through
school years, The court held that the
company was guilty of sex discrimina-
tion and ordered it to issue the policy
and to pay partial court costs and legal
fees in the case.

EQUAL SOCIAL SECURITY

san FRANCISCO—Divorced husbands
cannot be denied the Social Security
benefits available to divorced wives, а
Federal court has ruled. A L district
judge found that an NI-year-old. plain
tif fulfilled all the conditions required
for benefits except that he was a male:
He had been married 10 the insured
individual for at least 20 years, had
never remarried and had по independ-
ent bility for other retirement
benefits. The ruling will apply gen-
erally if upheld on appeal.

EXPANDING THE FAMILY
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Unmarried couples
living together, including homosexuals,
may now qualify for public housing
under a new policy announced by the
Department of Housing and Urban

Development. The agency has expand-
ed—and bureaucratized—the definition
of a family to include “two or more
persons, sharing residency, whose in-
соте and resources are available to
meet the family’s needs and who are
neither related by blood, marriage or
operation of law, or have evidenced a
stable family relationship.” One HUD
official expressed surprise that the
change did not meet opposition and said
she hoped that local housing authorities,
who must approve applicants, will in-
terpret the new regulations liberally,

HORSE MANURE!

SYRACUSE, NEW YORK—A local judge
has decided that spreading horse ma-
nure on the carpeted lobby of a town
hall goes beyond “symbolic free speech”
and has sentenced the perpetrator to
one year's probation. The offense was
committed by а middle-aged resident
protesting the decision of county offi-
tials to permit the building of a viding
stable next to his house.

RADIO FREE AMERICA
ALBany—New York's highest crimi-
nal court has ruled that the constitu-
lional right of рее speech permits good
buddies to give one another Smokey
reports over their С.В. radios. Judge

Lawrence Cooke held, "To say that
there is a Smokey takin’ a picture up
the road does not subject the speaker
10 a year’s imprisonment.” In several
states, police have harassed or arrested.
C.B. operators for broadcasting Smokey
reports, usually charging obstruction of
justice or some other vague offense.

POPPY PULLERS
Police raided am elderly
flower garden in а small town south

woman's

west of Oklahoma City and announced
the destruction of one of the largest
crops of illegal Turkish opium poppies
ever found in the U.S. The poppies,
numbering several thousand, belonged
to an elderly widow who had obtained
the original seeds from her grandmother.

Officers kept the crop under surveil-
lance for a week and spent one day hid-
ing in a barn 10 see if the woman was
selling the plants. After the vaid, the
woman said, “Here they came, four of
em. They thought } was picking seed
pods. К had 'em-fooled. ] was only pick-
ing beans. . . . My land, I've never seen
such а todo over a bunch of flower
No charges were filed.

POT DECRIMINALIZED

Both New York and North Carolina
have eliminated criminal репаШе for
possession of small amounts of mari-
juana, bringing the number of "de-
crim" states to ten.

Under the New York law, possession
of up lo 25 grams (seven cighths of
an ounce) carries а maximum civil fine
of $100 for a fast offense, up to $200 for
a second offense and up to $250 and/or
15 days in jail for a third offense.
Possession of over 25 grams or public
use or display of any amount, or giving
someone less than two grams, is a Class
B misdemeanor with criminal. penalties
of up to three months in jail or a $500
fine.

The North Carolina law sets a
maximum $100 fine jor firstoffense
possession of up 10 onc ounce, with
subsequent offenses carrying а maxi-
mum penalty of a $500 fine and/or six
months in jail.

According to the National Organiza-
tion for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
(NORML), which worked for the re-
forms in both states, almost one third
of the country's total population now
lives under decriminalization laws.

broken marriages and pay for the main-
tenance of repeat offenders
When will prison officials wake up?
Philip J. Williams
Thomaston, Maine

FEAR OF GUNS

Whether or not firearms generate fear,
as John S. Roberts claims (The Playboy
Forum, August), seems to me to depend
less on the gun than on the person. For
y people, the very idea of a

gun
imagine one pointed at them by an at-
tacker, never one saving their lives. For
a great many other people, the idea of
а gun is comforting, because it affords
them the g themselves
and the This may be a false
sense of security: I'm convinced that a
will generally get the average citizen
more trouble than it gets him out

The kind of generalized gun fear
relared to by Roberts is irrational
though it certainly seems to be the mot
vating force with the antigun people.
I'm much more fearful of being in a si
tion where 1 might need a gun
have one.

В. Hanis
Fort Worth, Texas

KENT STATE COVER-UP

First those responsible for the killing
of four students at Kent State University
were exonerated of all criminal charge:
Then the parents of the victims were
denied any civil damages for the deaths
of their саге Now, in an obvious
attempt to consign this shameful incident
in our country’s history to oblivion, the
university is attempting to obliterate
the site of the massacre by building a
gymnasium annex on the hill from which
the shots were fired.

Whenever 1 think about the
State case, it is with a sense of despair for
my counuy. Justice has not been done:
now it seems the memory of the crime is
to be erased. But though the guilty par-
ties may have escaped the courts, the
cannot escape the judgment of history.
Even if the scene of the crime is de-
stroyed, what was done there can never
be undone or forgotten.

D. Lewis
"Trenton, New Jersey

Kent

several trials, grand-jury probes
and official investigations, the American
people still know very шие about the
1970 killings at Kent State University
The families of the victims know much
more than the public does, and one rea-
son for that is Federal District Judge
Don J. Young.

During the 1975 civil trial, Krause
et al. vs. Rhodes ct al., буе former uni
versity officials asked the court to seal
those portions of their pretrial deposi
tions that had not become part of the
trial record. Ten months after the tial

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was over and the victims’ families had
filed appeals of the verdict in favor of
Governor James A. Rhodes and his co-
defendants, Judge Young granted the
motion of the five witnesses. In doing
so, however, he broadened the scope of
their request to encompass all material
obtained during pretrial discovery. That
induded all depositions. all FBI imer-
views, all investigative police reports, all
state-grand-jury-witness testimony Шаг
had not become part of the trial record.
Young ordered all such evidence vital to.
enlightening the public about Kent State
be restricted forever. This outrageous gag
order was promptly challenged by the
plaintifis, Their motion was denied and
is now being appealed.

As I had access to much of that mate-
rial in assisting attorneys for the fam-
ilies, it became impossible for me to
speak freely without risking a citation
for contempt of court. Last April, 1
spoke at Yale University and, prior to
doing so, I made a motion challenging
the gag order. In dismissing my motion,
now being appealed, Young went out of
that 1 had benelited
ly "by exploiting the words of
people involved in this unhappy litiga-
tion.” In fact, I have lost money because
I got involved in this case. My motive
is the conviction that any one of the
four students could have been my own
son or daughter and, as a citizen, 1
had to do something.

The judges order perpetuates the
cover-up that has plagued this crime since
1970, when the public was told that what
had happened was just a third-rate trag
edy and many people bought that. So
far, there have been no Woodward and
Bernstein to expose the cover-up. When
that happens—and it will—the Ameri
can people are going to be shocked, be
cause carlier investigations, combined
with more recent testimony, indicate that
two of their sons and two of their daugh-
ters were shot to death for so-called na-
tional security and that Kent. State was
the beginning of the n
known as Watergate.

Peter Davies
Staten Island, New York

nal nightm:

OPTING FOR LIFE

Mary Thicle Hayes writes in the
August Playboy Forum, in rebuttal to a
previously published letter of mine
(April): "In the face of phenomena such
ау brain preservation and DNA wans
plants, 1 opt for the side of ignorance
The precious and inexplicable force we
call life is certainly to be valued, but,
more than that, it is to be respected,
not manipulated in a hopeless lust for
immortality.”

I certainly respect and tolerate На
opting for ignorance, assuming she will
also respect and tolerate my opting for
intelligence. I would not force knowledge
or longevity on her and I hope she does

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PLAYBOY

“Playboy Forum" Casebook

UPDATE: THE TRIALS OF TOM MISTROT

an ex-con on parole had better not even spit on the sidewalk

Most people lament the failure of our criminal-justice
system to protect society against thieves, armed robbers.
rapists and murderers, who too often can rack up dozens
of arrests and several convictions without ever going to
jail—or staying there for very long before resuming their
criminal careers. A conspicuous exception to this pattern
is Thomas Francis Mistrot. By 1968. at the age of 22. he
had been convicted of two coin-machine burglaries and а
minor m it offense and sentenced to life in the Texas
state penitentiary. Through the efforts of pLaynoy and a
state representative. he was released two years ago. was
working hard and seemed well on his way toward making
a new life for himself in the South Texas city of Victoria.
But now. because of a parole violation as petty as his o.her
crimes, he may be headed back to prison for up to 25 y
It can't be said that the criminaljusice system. doesn't
protect society against "Tom Mistrot.

The charge against Mistrot (pronounced mis-tro) is bur
wlarizing a building. but his real c:ime is bad judgment.
The building was an uninhabited. weed-overgrown shack
on the edge of town, and Mistror had talked with two
neighbors. muoducing himsell by name, belore deciding
the shack was, indeed, abandoned (the elderly owner is in
а local rest home) and taking out of it an old dresser, а
bedstead and а steamer trunk. He and his girlfriend fixed
these up and sold them to а used.[urniture store and were
looking for more abandoned buildings when both were
arrested,

Ordinarily. such pilfering results in по great conse-
quences; college students and young married couples have
been known to commit such crimes and go free to sin again,
But Victoria once had a hallway house for ex-cons and has
had its problems with them. Both Mistrot and his girlfriend
have been charged with felony daytime burglary.

Given the fact that Mistrot entered the building so op
ly and freely admitted all to the police—voluntcering t
he had entered other abandoned houses—he might still
have gotten off with a light penalty after making restitu-
tion. But already the wheels of justice seem to be inexorably
a motion. Without even waiting for an
ndictment, Mistrot’s parole officer began
role-revocation proceedings, putting him
automatically in the county jail, from
which Ве may soon be transferred to the
state penitentiary at Huntsville to aw:
the parole board's decision

‘Two members of the Playboy Defense
Team, Senior Editor Bill Helmer and legal
investigator Russ Million, went to Victoria
10 talk with Mistrot’s attorney, Stephen 5.
Ross, and with District Auorncy Knute
Dietze and parole officer Jerome Davidson
They found Loth officials to be friendly,
elligent and professional but not par-

stances or the ра of Mistrot
that had brought PLAYBOY and others to his
d when he was in prison

Mistrot, abandoncd by his mother
age of six and raised mostly in state
tutions until he was 16. had H
capped

n handi- from prison. On

childhood polio and only recently corrected in part by oper-
ations on his facial muscles. He's never been accused or
suspected of a violent crime, or even a serious crime, and
the offenses that led to his life sentence were committed
when he was homeless, friendless and penniless, unable to
find work and ignorant of the legal system. His three youth
ful crimes were later reduced from felonies to misdemeanors
by the state legislature, but these reforms weren't retroactive
and didn't affect his life sentence as a three-time offende:
mainly because his third offense involved 1.876 grams of
marijuana. Ht took almost two years of negotiations with
Texas authorities t0 obtain a commutation of sentence
that would permit his parole. (PLAYBOY'S original stories on
Mistrot appeared in The Playboy Forum in July and No-
vember 1575 and April 1976.) During that period, we lis
tened to а litany of sympathetic but. bureaucratic evasions
of responsibility—trom a judge, a district attorney, а sher-
ill. d members and members of the governor's
staff. The most common response was, "Our hands are tied,”
which prompted one legislative assistant in Austin to rc
mark. "Now you know why Texas is known for the lariat.
ils in Victoria, though offi
cials there seem to realize thc basic injustice in sending a
man to prison for 25 years for pilfering some apparently
abandoned furniture. But these officials, who in fact have
discretionary powers in such cases, have now passed the
buck to the courts and to the state parole board: and for
чоп, that is а Catch-29. The parole board can send
Mistrot back to prison on the basis of a hearing and spare
the county the trouble and expense of a trial. Even if the
county reduces the felony charge in exchange for a plea
of guilty and gives Mistrot no more than а fine, he's still,
technically, a parole violator.

Not many people today bal
ие crimi

The same situation now prev

an ©

our prisons either
als. In Mistror's case, the issue
is whether or not the system can accommodate even
minor

reform ог rehabi

nfraction by

tx 06
als

the At a February 1976 press conference in Austin, Texas, PLAY&OY Senior Editor Bill
nsti- Helmer introduces Tom Mi

rot and describes the events leading !o his release
rot's left are Casebook legal investigator Russ Million, Albert

by a speech defect caused by Sample of the state bar association and San Antonio attorney Gerald Goldstein.

not wish to force ignorance or a short
life on me.

І must object, however, to her sem:
tics. To imply that respecting life means
keeping it short is a propagandistic mis-
use of the word respect, similar to that
of the male chauviniss who say that
the only way to respect women is to
keep them subordinate. We can all do
well, I think, without the kind of respect
that seeks to limit us. Who shows more
respect for life—the doctor who cures а

i who lets a patient

Ik lack respect for
Louis Pas-

And what is wrong with manipulation?
To manipulate is to work skillfully with
one’s hands to alter and upon
nature, Everything we call civilization
and culture—everything we have now
first hominids did not have or
is the product
ent people working with their
ds. As an old joke puts it, a preacher
* told a farmer, "God was good when
He made this farm, те
plied, “You should have seen it when
He had it to Himself.” АН the real
wealth of the world, roads, farms, ve-
hicles, factories, even language, is the xc-
sult of manipulation.

As for the description of the quest for
immortality as а hopeless lust, that is a
prediction that future research will either
confirm or refute, Far be it from me to
tically defend it I have no idea
how long life can be extended or how
many of the cryonically preserved can

ter be revived, but I do say that we'll
y damned hard.

Wright brothe
Like Yossarian in Calc
live forever, ГИ certainly die trying.
Robert Ant
Berkeley,

RELENTLESS SNOOPING
lt scems sometimes that the functi
of Government is to create a
people privileged to do things for which
i ns would be arrested. and
c the matter of ii
which is à crime wl
do it but which the U.S. Customs Serv-
ice considers an honorable way for its
employees to make a living.

Without any court order, the U.S,
Customs Service routinely opens hun-
dreds of thousands of pieces of first-class
mail coming into the county each year.
In Los Angeles alone, it opens letters
at the rate of 400 a day. The Supreme
Court, Richard Nixon's ruinous bequest
to the nation, has ruled in
licitude for our civil liber
practice is legal. because it is traditio
Jt makes the head swim to think how dif-
ferent our history would be if previous

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special occasions.

One was for winning the Gold Medal ас the
1904 World’s Fair. And another, in 1896, on
the 100th anniversary of Tennessee statehood.
He even had his nephew make a special
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House, in Nashville. Е

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Courts had accepted that argument. For
instance, school segregation might have
been justified on the grounds that it
was traditional, and so much for Brown
vs. Board of Education.

This relentless insistence on the bu
reaucracy’s right to spy on citizens is

frightening

James Green
Los Angeles, California
To open first-class mail, a Federal
agency should be required to secure an
order after demonstrating to а court's
satisfaction that there is “probable cause"
to believe a particular letter contains con
traband. The argument, often used. to
support the odious practice of opening
letters from overseas. that random search
sometimes reveals contraband, is no justi
fwation for repealing the constitulional
prohibition against illegal search and.
seizure, If the police randomly selected
houses to search without probable canse,
they would doubtless find contraband in
many, but that is the very conduct the
Fourth Amendment was designed 10 pro
hibit. The practice is especially deplor
able when the subject of the search is
reading matter, which should be no one's
business, in any event.

BANANA SHOW

Таш a Marine stationed on Okinawa
Naturally, І have made it a point to see
the local sights. One, in particular, not
the ѕоп found in your average Guide
Michelin, bears description.

This particular point of interest is
called а banana show and can be found
in selected night clubs. While 100 or
so sexerazed Marines stand around,
hooting and hollering, a very good
looking, very well-built lady comes out
onstage clad in a very sheer night-
gown and bikini panties. A provocative
dance follows, along with а lot more
hooting and hollering. But the fun is
just beginning. The lady then disrobes
entirely, sits down in a chair and b
to suck on а banana while playing with
herself. She then peels the banana, breaks
it into pieces a liule at а time and
sticks them up her cunt until the whole
banana is inserted, Grabbing one of the
guys from the crowd, she lies down on a
table and encourages the guy to go down
on her; as he does, she uses the muscles
of her cunt to force the banana into his
mouth, The performance ends with the
two of them lucking onstage.

The Marines raise more than |
during this operation, I'll tell you.

(Name withheld by request)
PPO San Francisco, California

CHANGE THE CHANNEL

АЙ the idiots who do not want them
selves or their children to watch sex or
violence on television can get off their
asses and turn the dial. There is always
some pansy program on another channel

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PURITAN POISON

Г============================5===

П I I've heard too much about sex on tele-
1 | vision poisoning the country’s children,
П n g y
П е е W | The insane allegations that сопзегу:
1 have in common with the Met, 1 |» г make me nauseated. Whars
П V |y | really poisoning our children's minds is
the late, and the Louvre. В | the idiotic condemnation of sex implicit
т Beautiful, original works by artists Н шшш Шо шир жш
who аге represented in the world's great H (arin, idee
[| museums and galleries can be yours for very H
reasonable prices. —— FROM RHETORIC TO FACT
П We offer original etchings, litho- |} | The csay im the August Playboy
n р kapis and гар signed by Ona | | Forum, "Kids in Pornography,” asks
A Chagall, Dali, Delacroix, Renoir ап I | rhetorically, “Will we see bookstore own-
I (SAR een EE. ers going to jail for selling Show Me, the
(Alexander Calder's exuberant and |a education book depicting nude chil-
П colorful lithograph "Candy Cane” is just Moy EAT
1 — ome of the many fine prints we've recently р As a result of the furor over
H made available.) " an kiddie porn, the New York legisla-
I Ба Our expert advice and full money- | ture passed а bill outlawing "promoting
H аск guarantee are your assurances tat Me IB | a sexual performance by a child.” Ве
- art you buy m have Е ү and beauty | cause the word obscene was not induded
Send for our colorful, descriptive to modify "sexual performance," both
у ALEXANDER CALDER’s "Candy Сапе" brochure, without obligation y | aiios M RS: of the bill pointed
РИЧ 5 ош that Show Me would be in violation
I Original print collectors group, Ltd. Кыек cot Ss estere cama
П 120 East 56th Street, Dept. PLI, New York, N.Y. 10022 to the bill’s legislative sponsor, made a
П О PLEASE SEND ME YOUR FREE COLOR BROCHURE № | dunderheaded. statement typical of anti
Name rn freaks when questioned about this:
П ро 1 а
F| Aadress E | “We don't care what the pictures are
П Ci m Zip H ea ш oy sul h En ше 9 шуп.
Ї| © 1977 Original print colleciors group, а DM сай еч d аас
a ааа ааа апааа | proved to be right on target.

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THE BOLEX
SPORTSMAN

Censorship is like cancer: once contract-
ed, it spreads and spreads, until it kills.
John Kelly
New York, New York
Although passed by the legislature, the
bill was recalled from the governor's desk
by its sponsor in recognition of possible
constitutional problems.

PERK'S PIQUE

The nitwit mayor of Cleveland, Ralph
J. Perk, is distributing a pornography poll
to 200,000 homes in Cleveland in an at-
tempt to deter what the community
feels about obscenity. The idea of a poll
is fine, in the light of the Supreme
Court’s 1973 obscenity decision to leave
such matters to community standards
But the way Perk is going about it is
totally screwed up. Professional pollsters
all agree that one needn't poll 200,000
people on an issue to find ош what a
community's opinion is, Also, in а not
vary-subde attempt at irony, Perk is hav
ing the city's garbage men diswibute the
poll, as if to equate erotica with trash. To
top it off, he has added a cover letter to
let everyone know exactly how he feels:
“I am shocked by the shameful, porno-
graphic materials which are invading our
city and our neighborhoods. . . . You
and I find it hard to discuss such private
matters, but it must be done, so that we
can forbid the sale of pornography in
Cleveland." Valk about bias,

Sadly, a large number of Clevelanders
are so provincial that they don’t realize
such tactics are an obvious attempt to
guarantee Perk’s re-election in Novem-
ber. And, worst of all, he will probably
win the election,

Clev
Perk got 13,000 questionnaires bach:
ош of the 200.000 distributed and
claimed that 80 percent of them oppose
the public display of obscene materials.
He has since declared war on what he
calls “pornomaniacs . . . the addicts of
pornomania,” and called а two-day con-
ference of 100 antiporn crusaders in
Cleveland who told one another that
pornography is the cause of every prob
lem from sex crime to urban blight
Apparently, Perk wants Cleveland 10
supplant Cincinnati as the laughingstock
of the nation.

JUMPING JESUS
The mentality of religious fanatics
continues to amaze me. In previous letters
to The Playboy Forum (May 1974 and
June 1977). | have described cases in
Which vast numbers of zealots got pas-
sionately involved in denouncing things
that never happened or were never even
planned, on the basis of rumors they
didn’t bother to check ош. Another case
of this sort came along last spring. Dr.
Bob Jónes of Bob Jones University
the Reverend John Dekker of Baltimore
(whose radio show is syndicated in 13

and

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cities) incited hordes of Bible-
cranks to protest to
Motors about the television film Jesus of
Nazareth before it was shown. Why were
they all jumping on Jesus? Because of a
remark made by Franco Zeffrelli in a
newspaper interview: "I see Jesus as an
ordinary man, gentle, fragile, simple. Of
course, the public is going 10 be annoyed
that I am destroying their myths.” Dr.
Jones declared, “If the film is as director
Zeffirelli says . . . then it is the most wick-
ed thing to ever be shown on television.”
He warned that “those who know the
Lord Jesus Christ God incarnate, as
their personal Lord and Savior will, I
am sure, make their protest known both
verbally and by spending their automo-
bile dollars elsewhere." G.M. subsequent-
ly pulled out as sponsor of the movie.
Jones later saw the movie at a screening
just for him and declared himself. some-
what mollified. But the damage was done.
The herd was spooked.

Religious consultants to the film
duded representatives of the V
and the Archbishop of Canterbury him-
self, thereby guaranteeing that it couldn't
wander very far from orthodox views.
Indeed, I saw the film myself when it
was televised, and I found it so faithful
to Saipture as 10 be wearisome,
lent. demonstrates once again
that great numbers of people are pre-
pared to accept anything their leaders tell
them, without any evidence at all, be-
сапзе they have been taught since child-
hood that it is blessed to believe without
proof. Their motto is, "Don't confuse me
with the facts; d is already made
up.” The size and influence of this group
is a principal reason the U. S, is, in many
ways, a backward country,
ames J. Hill
Sebastopol, Californi

BLASPHEMY RESURRECTED

Lest you imagine that the U.S., with
its pornography prosecutions and its
Anita Bryant crusade, is the only country
fllicted with religious antisexual insan-
ity, let me hasten to tell you that we in
the U. cks to
the Holy Inquisition. Denis Lemon, edi-
tor of a gay newspaper, has been convict-
ed of blasphemy for publishing a poem
depicting Jesus as a homosexual. The
original complaint was brought by Mary
Whitehouse, a notorious antismut cru-
sader, Under Britain's antiblasphemy
laws, which date back to the Middle
Ages, there is no maximum penalty, and
if the judge were as crazy as the jury,
he could have sentenced poor Lemon
to hanging, drawing and quartering. The
last man convicted of blasphemy, in 1922,
got nine months at hard labor. Lemon
was also sentenced to nine months
prison, suspended as long as he does
not offend God and man for the next
y and a half. He was fined $850. His
paper, Gay News, was fined $1700.

. have our own (гом

That, you must admit, is a bit thick
а country where freedom of speech
and religion are allegedly guaranteed.
The prosecutor admitted, “You can say
Christ was a fraud or a deceiver or Christ
may have been a homosexual, provided
you say it in a reasonable, measured, re-
fleciive, decent way." In which case
Lemon is being punished not for blas-
phemy but for bad taste; we have free-
dom of speech if you do not violate the
prosecution's canons of literary criticism.
І submit that ud hypocritical: the
prosecution made an issue of the mode
of expresion only to avoid admitting
that it was, in fa lating freedom

of speech and of religion.
Obviously, you Yanks aren't the only
ones threatened with a return to the

Ages.
W. Allen
London,

agland

“You dowt have to give
up heterosexuality to
stop persecuting gays."

DADE COUNTY DEBACLE

A number of commentators on the de
feat of Dade County's gay rights ord
nance las June have claimed that it
doesn’t rea

joted homosexual
nt to go on.

way:

Most Americans are inclined to
let consenting adults do what they
like, short of injury, in private; but

The
they sought was the
ion by soc they

were doing w:

But they are wrong. In the eyes
of the vast majority, homosexual
is an abnormality, a mental illness,
the old-fashioned

Apparently, Safire thinks the only way
people can express disapproval of sinners
is to deprive them of jobs and housing.
The idea that the law should be used
to enforce religiously inspired moral
standards is an exceedingly dangerous
one that threatens our whole tradition
of separation of church and state. If
the rights of homosexuals to housing.
employment and public accommodations
е not guaranteed, then any one of us
may lose a job or a home because our
private morals don't measure up to some
selLappointed authority’s standards of
righteous conduct, As York Times
columnist Anthony Lewis put it, the

people of Dade County have sent the
rest of us a warning: “They reminded
us that the rights of minorities are too
important to be trusted to the passions of
passing majorities.”

C. Moore
New York, New York

Anita Bryant danced a jig after suc
cessfully forcing repeal of the Dade
County. Florida, law banning discrimina-
tion because of sexual preference. A jig!
Now, who was that other famous jig
dancer, you know, the one with the fun
ny little mustache?
David Paulus
Springfield, Massachusetts
Well, now—according 10 Hitlers biog-
rapher John Toland, when word came
in 1910 that the French wanted an ar-
mistice, der Führer “slapped his thigh
and jerked up a knee in a spontaneous
spasm of ecstasy.” The scene was filmed
by Hitler's official cameraman; а Cana-
dian film maker later “looped” the film,
as is done today in TV cat-food comme
cials, and the result made it look as if
Hitler were dancing a jig or, as Toland
describes it, “а ludicrous series of gay
piroucttes.” Gay pirouettes? Is that what
Anita was doing?

Newsweek columnist George F. Will
has tried to create an intellectual defense
of Anita Bryant's antigay crusade and, 1
must say, 1 have not read such tortured
logic since William F. Buckley mounted
a philosophical apologia for Joe Mc
Carthys. anti-Communist witch-hunt. in
the Fifties. Will says that ordinances for-
bidding discrimination because of sexi
preference “are weapons in a battle to
force society formally to indicate that
homosexuality is a matter of indiffei
nce.” Dig that sophistry. It is true only
to the extent that the First Amendme
prohibition of religious discrimination
forces society to indicate that religious
preference is a matter of indifference.

Laws forbidding us to discriminate
against people on the basis of religion do
not require us to be indifferent to religion
but merely to grant the same rights to all
religions, You don't have to give up
Catholicism in order to stop persecut-
ing Lutherans. Similarly, laws тедий
ws to stop discrim
minorities do not, as Will implies, rc
quire us to abandon our own sex
preferences or private prejudices
merely to grant the same rights to all
all preferences. You don't

but

1
ty to stop

persons of
have to give up heterosexu:
persecuting gays.

Will goes on to declare that ordinances
banning discrimination "are part of the
moral disarmament of society.” In other
words, if we can't persecute the people
we dislike, we are morally disarmed,
This identification of morality with har-
assment means that we aren't moral

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PLAYBOY

74B

unless we are giving hell to somebody
we consider immoral, That is the moral-
y of withhunters Inquisitors and
busybodies everywhere: it is not the
morality of those who try to live by
Jesus’ teachings “Judge пог and vou
shall not be judged" and "Let him who
is without sin among you cast the first

| not only wants the law to dis-
crimina iust gays, he also bcliev
thar the law should reflect “the doctrine
of natural right on which Western so-
ciety тему. According to that docuine,
we can know and should encourage some
ways of living that are right because of
the nature of man.” Western society rests
оп that doctrine just as it rests on the
belief that the earth is flat; both are pa
of our past. This cookiecutter approach
10 morality, which encourages the be
liever to imagine that he or she knows
the one best way for people to 1
fiercely held in Europe for m
turies. The result that Christians
slaughtered millions of their fellow
Christians, as well as Jews and Moslems,
to enforce ways of living that are right
because of the nature of mar

The U.S. Gonstiunion was writen
explicitly to prevent that kind of doc-
uine's being established and practiced
here. Discriminatory laws against. private.
behavior can never be enforced. without

e, w
се

such laws.
corrupt

are merely tools for b
ollicials or of g people
whom the authoritie e for other
reasons. И Will doesn't know that much
about the history of victimless-crime laws,
he is almost as nai

am? Well, it survived the Ku Klu
and the Scopes monkey trial, so I
the essence of Christianity, the mess

i the he

love

of Jesus’ teachin
survive just about anything.
Meanwhile, if Anita's antics are im-
ported to California, as she threatens, 1
gues TH have to start wearing а gay
button, even though Гуе been
all my Ше. Г remember the
ppropriately named. King. Christian. of
mak, who wore a Star of David
when the Nazis ordered all the Jews in
his country to wear that emblem so they
could be identified and persecuted more
The only way to be a Christi
red is on the march is to identify

when
fully with the victim:

As for Anna and her followers, the
ошу Christian attitude. toward them is
to say what Jesus said of those who au

fied "Father, forgive them, for they
know not what they do.
M. Dixon

Los Angeles, C;

BREAKING THE NATURAL LAW

Homosexuality is a lifestyle in glaring
violation of biological law. А species
must reproduce or it will face extinction,
Gay societies can't survive, for they pro-
duce no progeny. Homosexuality cannot
be considered a stare when it
opposes that fact of lile

To say that being gay is an acceptable.
option of sexual. prelerence is ridiculous,
when the obvious purpose of sexual be
havior is to bring together and keep

normal

together а man. woman to r
the next gener Homosexuali

able to

in no way compa у
t ends in hetero-

of sexual preference th
sexual copulation.

William S. Pease
Cincinnati, Ohio
lj a biological lme can be broken, it
ism a biological law. Homosexual acts
have been observed in many animal spe-
cies, so they can't be called unnatural.
As jay as ouy own species goes. our prob-
lem is too many people, not too few;
we can afford to have a segment of our
population that doesn’t reproduce. Back
lo Zoology 101.

“The guy should not

assume that if all else

fails, an abortion can
be arranged.”

SEXUALYSIS

Within. psychiatric circles, it is com-
monly accepted that all persons. have.
components of both homosexuality and

heterosexuality. The struggle for sexual
identity Шу resolved in childhood,
but when it isn't, a continuous, uncon-
scious repressi any and all homo-
sexual interests may go on all through
lile, This state nerally referred. to
as latent homosexuality-

The epitome of someone
with these «li
speaks out all too. vociferously and ag.
gresively on the evils and ugliness of
the homosexual lifestyle, Crusaders. who
© such a wir deserve our sympathy
the am
ey must be having to curb. their
nosexual drives.

Robert
Barrington, Rhode Island

es is the campa

ndous personal struggle
own

ABORTION AND RESPONSIBILITY

Fn wri
ап abor
and have

ad as

man

g 10 you as a w
n counselor. Ги man

1 doi

wp
I do want to persuade PLAYBOY
male readers о look at abortion from

another point of view. It does get the
male out of a tight spot and irs a lot

cheaper than child support, but it goes
deeper than that. The right t0 abortion
should not be denied, but it does nor
truly free the woman, nor does it truly

liberare the male from his responsibili
tics. It cannot be divorced from the male’s
sexuality and, hence. from his feelings
about himself—no matter what he says or
how hard he may wy то convince himsel!
that it really doesn’t matter. After all, the
sex act itsell involved the man.

The decision to have an abortion is
not the province of the woman alone.
м nes it is the man’s deci
nd he makes it very difficult
woman to decide otherwise by refusi
support or by thr g 1o break
an otherwise good relationship-
AvBOY is read by men who already

know all this, but it also is read (or
looked with far less sophisti
сапа 1 mean the younger
males who are as yet unsure and un-

owledgeable about their own sexual

ne far
educa-

у те u
les for еше

уо

mag;
n for

inment il

tion. Unfortunately, this is the group
ost likely to find themselves in trouble.
1 do not want to see these young men

caught up in this trap, responsible for a
woman they do not love and a child to
whom they Guinot hope to be
father. Two lives—or three—are a
because neither took the responsibil
not only for birth contol but lor under-
standing cach other and whe probability

of pregnancy.

Not every girl can or will have an
abortion. Usually. by the time 1 see
her, she is too far along and her

rems frequently talk her
the baby, or she t
with thé pregnancy у
he guy should not asume that if

out. ^

all else fails, am abortion can be ar-

г He has lite control over this.
ther is dragged int loveless ma

19 on a
into

с or is hauled
ity charge
an already messed-up world with two mis
fits for parents who divorce belore it
hes school age or who go on fighting
for 20 years,

1 believe you

nto court a
The he

by is born

magazine сап do mud:
to liberate men by reminding them that
they are responsible for the ind
often their partners’ sexuality, not. just

own

lor с eption but for all physical
and emotional aspects ol sex.

Marie Furlor

Warren, Ohio

The Playboy Forum” offers the

opportunity for an extended dialog be
tween readers and editors of Пих pub
lication on contemporary issues. Address
all correspondence to The Playboy Fo-
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omnes HENRY KY EMBA

a candid conversation with uganda’s exiled minister of health, the first
cabinet officer to tell the full story behind the atrocities of idi amin

As we go to press, Henry Kyemba (pro-
nounced Chemba) is hardly а household
name in the United States. In Uganda,
however, he was just that, since only
former president Milton Obote and his
notorious successor, Idi Amin, are better
known. Americans, too, are about to get
to know him better. He has written the
first authoritative inside account of
Amin's brutal rule, “State of Blood,” pub-
lished in September by Grosset & Dunlap
and Ace Books.

Kyemba's story is extraordinary. Born
in 1939, he met Amin as a teenager,
when the latter was а bright, eager-to-
please soldier in Uganda's then-British
King's Rifles. After graduating from Ma-
kerere University, Kyemba joined the civil
service. Then, at the age of 22, he was
appointed 10 the office of the prime
minister, Obote, in whose service he saw
the independence of Uganda's 11,000,000
people in 1962.

During the next nine years, as Ugan-
da’s new democracy was undermined by
tribal rivalries and by Obote's increas-
ingly oppressive attempts to retain con-
trol, Kyemba got 10 know Amin well.
“Amin couldn't read or write," Kyemba
recalls of that period, “but he was de-
lightful to work with. He seemed naive,

“Amin called me to discuss the injuries
sustained during the Entebbe raid. Не
said casually, ‘Oh, by the way, that wom-
an [Dora Bloch] in the hospital: Don't
worry about her. She has been killed? ”

but. people underestimated him. Here he
was, operating a giant gunrunning organ-
ization, sending convoys of trucks across
central Africa and happily skimming the
cream off the operation. He used to bank
wads of cash, up to $100,000 at a time.
He was, I saw, not only outwardly charm-
ing; he was also canny, unscrupulous
and dangerous.”

In 1971, Amin seized power when
Obote was absent in Singapore. Kyemba,
as one of Obote's senior officials, was
with him when the news came through
aboard the plane on the return flight.
Kyemba called Amin from Dar es Salaam
to ask if he could return home. “We're
all celebrating,” Amin bawled into the
telephone. “When are you coming?” and
promised to send a car 10 the airport to
pick him up. When Kyemba arrived, the
first thing Amin asked was, “Did you
remember to bring me something from
Singapore?" Kyemba had and, having
passed that odd test of loyalty, was of-
fered the job of Amin’s principal private
secretary. In short order, Kyemba became
a ministerial deputy, minister of cul-
ture and minister of health.

In the next years, Amin’s extraor-
dinary personality, unrestrained by any
authority, found true expression. The

“In late 1972, everybody started to see

bodies. There were so many that they
couldn't be buried, so they were dumped
into the Nile. . . . There was а boat
оп julltime duty removing the bodies"

major accusations against him have been
widely reported in the press. But until
now, there have been few eyewitness re-
ports to confirm the details—and none
ab all by any who were also high in
Amin’s confidence through the years of
terror that continue to the present day.
Kyemba, who says he did not dare re-
Sign for fear of his life, watched as the
number of bodies bobbing in the Nile
began to grow daily—and resulted in
estimates of 150,000 killed; as orders
were given in his presence to give some-
one “the VIP treaiment"—death by lor-
ture; as Amin's barbarities became more
and more gruesome. Eventually, he real-
ized that his knowledge made him vul-
nerable. When the Anglican archbishop
of Uganda, Janani Luwuum, was killed
on February 17, 1977, along with two of
Kyemba’s Cabinet colleagues, Kyemba
realized that simply not resigning—and
nol speaking out against the atrocities—
was no safeguard for him. His rationale
for having served Amin for six years—as
well as his motives for finally deciding to
flee—may fairly be questioned; but by
early 1977, one thing was clear to him:
No one in Uganda was secure. So he be-
gan to plan his escape from the country.
First, he made sure that his friends and

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALAN CLIFTON
“Tt has amazed me to see how Amin has ex-
ploited his color with American blacks.

‘Amin is an international criminal and
anyone who associates with him is an
accomplice. I know. I was an accomplice.”

PLAYBOY

colleagues believed his future lay in
Uganda: He made a down payment on a
car and dropped other hints of that na-
ture. He planned his gelaway for the
time he was scheduled to be in Geneva
in May 1977 for the annual mecting of
the World Health Organization, of which
he was a vice-president. While he was
there, rumors of Kyemba's plans reached
Amin, who immediately placed his family
under arrest. That included one of his
two wives (polygamy is still a common
practice in Uganda) and his two chil-
dren; his other wife had accompanied
him to Geneva.

Kyemba had built up а system of con-
tacts within the Amin administration and
was secretly told what had happened. He
immediately called Amin from Geneva to
say that he, too, had heard rumors of his
defection but pointed out that he was
still in charge of his delegation and that
he had no intention of defecting. Kyem-
ba then held a press conference, praised
Amin publicly and denied the rumors.

Mollified, Amin released his family. By
prearrangement, they found their way to
the border and slipped acioss to Kenya
on foot. Kyemba was told his family was
safe, flew to London (not before being
spotted by an Amin agent at a stopover
in Paris) and went into hiding. He ve-
vealed his defection т two articles [or
the London Sunday Times on June 5
and June 12. Amin then had the Ugan-
dan vadio announce that Kyemba had
embezzled government funds—almost
standard procedure, since the last two
defecting ministers had been accused of
the same thing by Amin.

Shortly after Kyemba went public and
vowed to tell the complete story of
Amin's regime, the heads of the Com-
monwealth nations then gathered in.
London agreed оп а sharply worded de-
nunciation of Amin. Kyemba's refusal to
be cowed—as other defecting officials had
been—by Amin’s threats to his friends
and relatives remaining in Uganda made
the former minister of health well known
in Europe. It was then ihat John Man,
а former corespondent with Reuters
and, more recently, a Time-Life Books
editor in London and New York, got
together with Kyemba and they decided
to write a book of his experiences.

PLAYBOY contacted Man in London
and, despite a hectic schedule—the book
was writlen т five weeks—Man and
Kyemba agreed to set time aside for this
interview. Н was a deadline dash for
rraynoy as well, with the manuscript
being couriered across the Atlantic and
subsequent questions being telephoned
just days before this issue went to press.
Man's report:

“When 1 met Henry for the first time,
1 knew why this project was bound to
happen. He is calm, dignified, unflap-
pable. He has а reassuringly slow blink
thal takes the panic out of life. He wasn't

exactly worried about security, was he?
No, he said, but working in isolation
wouldn't bea bad idea.

“Perfect. 1 found an apartment in the
quiet Victoviana of North Oxford and
hired a battery of typists, tape recorders
and transcription. machines. Нету and
his junior wife, Teresa (who by then had
joined him with their children), moved to
Oxford from their hiding place in Lon-
don. We started taping on July first. One
month and 60 hours of tape later, we
finished: the inside story of Idi Amin.”

PLAYBOY: You were Amin’s minister of
health and worked with him closely Бе
tween the time he came to power in 1971
and your defection this year. If you
were faced with the task of bringing
Amin before a court of law, what would
be the nature of the evidence against
КҮЕМВА: It is very difficult to gather any
evidence of the various crimes that
Amin has committed, by the very
ture of his regime. The atrocities are
bal instruc
rests,
о record of the
police officers or troops involved, no rec-
ord of the cars used. The people who

no written statements,

“The first thing Amin did
when he heard there
had been an attack on

Entebbe was to hide inside
his driver's quarters
near his residence."

do the killing arc. mostly foreign
cruited especially in the southern Su
They have no personal respon: s
to Uganda or Ugandans. They dispose
of the bodies in rivers, im forests, in
swam ps

PLAYBOY: You mean
mentary evidence at all?

KYEMBA: Not much. Some evidence is
available in hospitals—postmortem re-
ports of bulletridden and mutilated
bodi However, at the moment, cven
ordinary records of a personal nature in
hospitals cannot be produced, because
nobody's ready to do it. Even then, there's
hardly anything that points directly to
Amin. When he tells you to do something
and it has repercussions that turn against
him, he will be the first to deny
sponsibility, On more than onc occasion,
when the accusations against him have
been particularly intense, he has merely
blamed a subordinate publicly—and that
person then has to flee for his life, even
though he was following Amin's personal
orders.

there is no docu-

son

PLAYBOY: You do have documentary evi-
dence, though, don't you?

KYEMBA: Yes. 1 think I'm one of the few
with hard evidence.

PLAYBOY: Let's take one case with which
Americans аге familiar—Dora Bloch. the
Brirish-Israeli grandmother. who was one
of the hostages at Entebbe. What do you
know for certain about her fate?

KYEMBA: I can tell you that Amin per-
told me to forge the evidence sur-

her diet and treatment. papers. 1 did as
he ordered and J had the hospital май
forge the material but kept the or
Then there are the possessions of Mrs.
Bloch: her dress, her hand her
cane. There is very litle Amin can do to
destroy that evidence.

PLAYBOY: You've had it hidden?
KYEMBA: Yes, 1 know where it
be asked to produce it for an

is. 1 may
nternation

al court somedity.

PLAYBOY: What else do you know about
what happened to her?
KYEMBA: Amin put me in charge of the
hos medical condition, so when Mrs.
Bloch was brought to the hospital with
some food lodged in her throat, I went
to visit her alter our doctors had operat
ed to remove the obstruction. We spoke
only briefly—she asked ше 1 could.
tell the guard outside her room to stop
staring ат her—but I felt a sympathy for
her. She reminded me of my own mother.
It was that night that I received word
of the fighting at the airport. There was
nothing to do but make a few calls to
relatives, who knew even less than I, and
await developments in the morning.
havs what happened all over Kampala
that night—officers and government offi-
5 simply went into hiding at
homes or elsewhere, until they could
таке sure it wasn't another coup. Inci-
dentally, that night, even Amin went into
. I was told by a reliable source
n he heard.

their

Y's quarters near
c House,

g, amid reports of the
dead and wounded at the airport, the
me out—that Israeli: commandos
had successfully taken away all but one
hostage—except for two hostages who
were killed in the raid. 1 began to worry
about Mrs. Bloch’s safety. 1 went to the
Mrs. Bloch had heard

‘The next mor

where
nothing, She
wash the dress she had been we:
the past couple ol day:

I heard what happened alter I left
the hospital. Two men from Amin's State
Research squad—his official killers—ar-
rived, 1 under з was Major
Farouk Minawa, the effective head of the
bureau, and another was Captain Nasur
Ondoga, Amin’s chief of protocol. They
shouted to the hospital staff to stand back,

nply asked me if she could

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PLAYBOY

marched into Mrs. Bloch's room and
dragged her, screaming, down the hall
and outside. Everyone watching knew
that she was going to her execution.
body did anything, because interferin
meant death, and public kidnapings were
an everyday thing in Kampala.

That night, Amin called me to discuss
the injuries sustained during the raid and
at the end of the conversation, he said
casually, “Oh, by the way, that woman
the hospital: Don't worry about her. She
has been killed."

PLAYBOY: What did you say to Amin?
КҮЕМВА: I said, “Oh, dear" By then, 1
had become very used to keeping my
reactions 10 myself. Privately. I was hor-
vified. It was the next day that Amin
ordered me to falsify the records, even
though it had become public knowledge
that Mrs. Bloch had been murdered. Her
halfburned body showed up about 20
miles outside Kampala by the roadside.
Hundreds of people saw it, because her
white hair made the body identifiable.
One of those who saw her was a famous
Ugandan photographer, Jimmy Parma,
who worked for the government new
paper and until that time had been ac
corded privileged. s He made the
istake of photogr: Bloch's
corpse. He was picked up soon alterward,
s found later on. He had
been shot and stabbed repeatedly.
PLAYBOY: You say you're the only опе
who knows where the evidence surround-
ing Mis. Bloch's murder
КҮЕМВА: | don't think more than one
other person kno
PLAYBOY: Whar we were going to ask is
how much evidence there is for all the
other random murders that have appar-
ently occurred in L
have put the figure
deaths.

KYEMBA: That is my estimate, too. But the
sad thing is that the evidence is hard to
find. Even my own brother disappeared.
Why he was arrested 1 never knew. He
worked for a textile firm and J got the
news that he was arrested only as a per-
sonal favor. A friend called to tell me that
my brother had been placed in the in-
famous Naguru prison and that the gu

were going around killing prisoners
tely. There was no chance that
vived. The man who told me that is

а, bur it is impos-
sible to provide any conclusive evidence.
Nobody is prepared to say who did what.
PLAYBOY: Still, with a system that can dis-
pose of 150,000 people, surely something
e out to prove
orders.
KYEMBA: Well, there thousands of
bodies that can be dug up as soon as

happened under

Amin gocs. How would anyone explain
thousands of corpses in th

swamps bc-
at Mutuku-

2 And the bodii
miss. swept up onto the

banks of tlie Nile? Many gruesome relics

will be there for years as evidence of his
nurderous regime.

As lor respon: if Amin isn’t re-
sponsible. no one is. His killers don't owe
their loyalty to anyone else. They arc
armed by him and carry out those things
on his orders.

PLAYBOY: Besides Amin himself, will the
people who committed thes
around to answer for the

the crocodile:

atrocities be

difficulty.
there are

nd large, The few who have got any
and who are big murder.

mong those first to lee as
soon as Amin goes. The southern Sudan-
ese who doing the killing have got

their homes over the border ii
та

Khartoum
uba. They go to Uganda to do their

"Tf Amin isn't responsible,
no one is. His killers
don't owe their loyalty to
anyone else. They ave armed
by him and carry out those

things on his order

jobs and they return. There is no
getting them arrested.

PLAYBOY: How arc the southern Suda
recruited?

КУЕМВА: It's easy. Their countrymen have
for three generations or so provided the
bulk of the army and the police. The
and they formed
The
Ugandan southern Sudanese are known
as Nubians. АП that happens
wants more men is t

lorries «
the border—it's quite open and patrolled,
anyway, only by the southern Su
themselves, because the southern Sud
has been in revolt against Khartoum for
some 20 years. It’s almost autonomous.
The lorries, full of hardened southern
Sudanese, drive to the n's home are:
4 drop them off overnight. The troops
themselves do the recruiting with prom-
ises of luxury goods and easy cash. Th
next morning, the lorries return, pick up
the old hands and the new re
drive back into Uganda.
PLAYBOY: Which means
most unlimited supply of men lor the
army, police and terror bureaus.

ive over

Amin has

KYEMBA: That's right. ally his main
temor unit, the State Research Bureau,
Under Obote. by the way, it really was
for state research. University theses were
submitted 10 that bureau, Amin expand-
ed it to a mi intelligence and secret-
police operation, which provides his
bodyguards. It must have trained. 10,000
to 12,000 killers by now.

PLAYBOY: It was one of those mercenaries
who spotted you when you were fleeing
Uganda, wasn't it?

KYEMBA: Yes; I was changing planes in
Paris and he spotted me.
PLAYBOY: What was he de
KYEMBA: Oh, he was one of the two em-
bassy thugs. There are two іп most em-
bassies. They work together to keep ап
суе on diplomatic personnel for Amin.
They're called. two-by-twos. This two-by-
two spotted me and thought to himself,
Whats Kyemba doing off by himself
away from his job? and called his pal in
Paris, who called Amin with the advice
that if he were to check up on me,
he might find something of interest.
Then.
PLAYBOY: How do you kno
KYEMBA: Whitt?

PLAYBOY: How do you know he got that
message to Amin?

ng there?

?
KYEMBA: I can't tell you.

PLAYBOY: Why not?

KYEMBA: How do you think I get a lot
of my information? 1 have my contacts; I
can't tell you where they work or what
arcas they work im. It would endanger
them. As it is, I get the news direct.
often before Amin himself knows. There's
quite a bit in my book thar will be news
10 Amin. He'll have someone read it to
him, you know—he can hardly read it
Tor himself.

PLAYBOY: Will he have someone rcad this
terview to him?

KYEMBA: Oh, sure. Perhaps we could
range for him to be sent a complimen-
tary copy-

PLAYBOY: Let's go back to the time you
first became involved with Amin, You
became his principal private secretary aft-
er he seized power in 1971. When do you
recall first becoming aware that Am
wasn't the buffoon the press was m
him out to be?

KYEMBA: From the very first. I saw the
brutal side of 1 When I got
to Kampala alter the coup—I had
been on a mission to Singapore with
former president Milton Obote—I knew
that some ary operations wi
nied ош under Amin's orders. 1 was
with Amin when reports of killings were
telephoned to him. I remember, in par-
ticular, one pathetic case—the conductor
of the police band. Mohammed Odu
PLAYBOY: What happened to him?
KYEMBA: He had been implicated in the

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plot to overthrow Obote and had fled to
nya, Since he was supposedly on the
"right" s persuaded to return
by one of Amin's boys with the promise
of a friendly reception. Upon arrival, he
was taken to sce Amin. The new presi-
ї met him at the command post and
n ordered him to be taken to make a
ement and released. Amin drove from
the command post to his new office, where
he told me of the meeting. Just then, the
chief medical officer. telephoned him.
Amin turned to me and said coldly,
“Oduka is dead.” Just like that! About
а man whom he had welcomed back as а
friend just an hour before! Now, who is
responsible for t Not the chief medi-
cal officer, certainly.

PLAYBOY: Did that sort of behavior i
dicate to you that Amin would be ca-
pable of such actions toward the civilian
population?

КУЕМВА: Not really. The killings were
mostly in the barracks. He used to tell us
they were mopping up a few guerrillas
4 by Obote. And I believed him—
| did. Obote was obviously very bit-
ter about the coup and we thought he w
ng as hard as he could to re-establish
mself in the country. The first ci.
Killing that shocked me was that of Mi
chac! Карма, who was then president of
the industrial court [a court for settling
industrial disputes рес
trade unions]. He was

adly with А

and Amin used to call him at hi
from time to time when I was there; but
Amin had designs on Kagwa's girlfriend.

Kagwa was picked up at apala swim-
ming pool. He was shot and his body

d burned on the outskirts of
L That was in September 1971.

It shook mc.
PLAYBOY: When did it become apparent
th

Amin's killings were not indiv
s but mass murder?

KYEMBA: "T hat was not until late 1972.
PLAYBOY: And you started to sce bodit
at that stage?

KYEMBA: Everybody started to see bodies.
Tha ere so many that they couldn't
he buried, so they were dumped into the
he main road that connects Kam
pala and Jinja passes over the River
Thousands of people passed that
К Слз) айуу ЧЕ. А again, you
would find bodies floating down from the
source of the Nile, through the dam, and
piling up in the still waters on onc side.
There was a boat on full-time duty re-
moving the bodies. You would find
people physically lifting those rotten, bal-
looned-out bodies from the river.
PLAYBOY: Why do you think th
her than

KYEMBA: That was one of the stupid
things that Amin’s boys did. Obviously,
they thought that by dumping them into
the river they would be eaten quickly by

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the crocodiles, They did not ize that
once they dumped the bodies in such
numbers, the crocodiles could not eat
them all Nor did they think that the
bodies would be floating, all puffed up, to
the surface. I saw bodies that were left on
the riverside for days, because people be-
came hardened to the sight. Then Amin
announced on the Ugandan radio that all
those bodies must be removed by the po-
lice as soon as they appeared. He accused
the police of being lazy because they w
not removing them fast enough!

PLAYBOY: Didn't he raise the question of
why there were bodies there at all?

КҮЕМВА: No. Absolutely extraordinary
There were a number of commissioners of
police at that time. They were fired, one
after the other, for failure to make sure
that the bodies were removed as quickly
as they appeared. It became a serious
political issue. Not a legal one, of course,
just political. Tourists were passing
through, and that made it hard for Amin

to deny that the bodies actually existed.
There were complaints that hydroelectric
facilities at the dam were being dogged
up. Can you believe it?

[The phone rings and Kyemba retires
to a corner, laughing uproariously on oc-
caston. After five minutes or so, he comes

back]
KYENBA: This is amazing.
PLAYBOY: What?

KYEMBA: That was а friend of mine, tell-
ing me of an interesting piece of informa-
tion from contacts in Kampala. Amin has
apparently heard that 1 am writing this
book and being interviewed. He's just ac
cused me on the radio, saying that 1 was
responsible for the shortages of drugs in
his hospitals, because I had embezzled
1,000,000 shillings [$125,000].

PLAYBOY: Hasn't he made that accusation
hefore?

KYEMBA: No, no. When J first left, before
I even left Geneva, he accused me of tak-
ing 300,000 shillings. Later on, when he
was trying to inveigle me back, he changed
his mind and said, no—he had given me
30,000 shillings for medical treatment.
Now he says it was 1,000,000! Still, I don't.
hold the record. When the ministers of
finance and industry defected, he said
they had taken 6,000,000 shillings each.
Perhaps J should be flattered that he
thinks me so honest! You think that’s odd?
Just listen to what else my friend told
me
PLAYBOY: Just a minute. To set the rec-
ord straight, did you take any money
with you?

KYEMBA: Of course not. If I had been
funneling any money out of the country
or had even withdrawn my own savings,
Amin would have known and I would
never have left Uganda at all. I was care-
ful to withdraw only my official allowance
of $100 a day. When I came to England,

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all I had was $2000 in an English bank—
which was, in fact, a personal gift Amin
himself made on a foreign trip two years
before. All I have to live on is the fees
for the interview with the London Sun-
day Times and the income from my book.
It won't last forever but long enough, I
hope, for me to get back to Uganda un-
der a different regime.

PLAYBOY: All right, you were telling us
what else your contact just told you.
KYEMBA: You remember Amin had four
wives until March 1974, when he divorced
three atonce—Malyamu, Kay and Nora. It
was announced they had commerci
terests—that was the supposed reason he
divorced them. Now I've just learned the
truth. There is apparently no limit to the
number of Amin’s girlfriends. He has lit-
erally dozens, and that severely limited
his ability to satisfy the women who were
married to him. For months and months,
he ignored his first three wives to live with
wife number four, Medina, Naturally, the
others were very unhappy.

PLAYBOY: Frustrated?

KYEMBA: Very frustrated. They were all
very good looking women in the prime of
life, who could have had any man they
wanted. The three women, in their bore-
dom and frustration, all took lovers, Then
one night they threw a party for their
men and other friends. Amin's body-
guards, afraid he would discover what was
going on and blame them, told the presi-
dent. He was furious and phoned his re-
bellious wives. They had the courage to
tell him to go to hell! Literally! They
were pretty drunk. He threatened to
throw them out. They told him to do his
worst, ordered the bodyguards to leave
and barred the house. The next day, he
announced the divorces, Amazing. 1 knew
Malyamu well, but for some reason, she
never told me about it all.
PLAYBOY: Let's get back to where we
were before that phone call. Aside from
the mass murders, what has happened to
Uganda since Amin took power?
KYEMBA: ‘The whole countr devastated,
Amin has no interest in bureaucracy. He
has destroyed much of the economy by
ing out the businesses of the 50,000
Asians who were thrown out of the coun-
try in 1972. That was. in effect, the whole
of Uganda's middle class. Factories closed.
Businesses were looted. Money was seized.
Shortages grew. It’s impossible these days
to get bread, butter, sugar, tea—even the
tea; Amin exports what little we grow to
finance his luxuries. All the coflee we
grow is exported. You can't buy it in the
shops.

It ix so tragic. We had a country that
was fertile, well provided with industry.
The whole nation is running down. Kam-
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broken, paint is pecling. You can't get
light bulbs, cars, bicydes, clothes. Any-
thing you have is stolen. The place is rot
ten, diseased, by that cancer at its head.
PLAYBOY: You must have scen all that
coming. Did you keep notes, make a
record?

KYEMBA: I am a historian by
but it is very difficult to write anything
down. І tried to write a book before I
left Uganda, some years ago, and had to
abandon it. Anything I put down could
have been misunderstood if it were
eported to Amin. In fact, 1 was later
proved right, because Denis Hills was
arrested for doing nothing else than pre-
paring a manuscript for his book, The
White Pumpkin. [Denis Hills is the Eng-
lish author who was condemned to death
by Amin for calling him a “village tyrant”
in а drah manuscript. He was saved
after the intercession of the qucen.]
PLAYBOY: And the fact that you were writ-
ing something down would have made
Amin suspicious?

KYEMBA: Absolutely. He doesn’t believe
that anyone can do anything innocent.
Anything written is evidence and suspect.
Partly, of course, it's a personal thre
He can't read at all well. So there are few
government records, Amin administers
the whole country by interview and radio
nhouncement. So when the history of the
past six years in Uganda comes to be writ-
ten, it will be hearsa
PLAYBOY: That's the case with your own
book, State of Blood. You've relied heav-
ily on the experiences of other. people
and what they have told you.

KYEMBA: That's nue. And that’s why it
is so important, as far as 1 am concerned,
that I put down in writing what I know
and do so with the maximum effect pos
sible. Many of my brothers and sisters,
friends, fellow Ugandans, really know
little of what is happening in Uganda.
Which means that information outside
is pretty shaky, too. There is nothing ob-
jective that can be sent out. Amin him-
self approves every news bulletin. A few
journ:
finds that they are independentminded,
they never have a second visit. There are
no foreign newspapers. No foreign cor-
respondents—except а Tass man—none
even from African counties. The whole
Country is a dosed society; it exists for
Amin alone.

PLAYBOY: By 1973, you, as a Cabinet min-
ister, knew the nature of his regime. How
were you able to continue serving him?
KYEMBA: It was a most agonizing decision
I had to make. I certainly had a fairly
good idea of what Amin was doing in
the country; I had known friends and
relatives murdered; I had known many of
the innocent who had died. I had no am-
bition to serve. In fac, on a number
of occasions, I almost wondered why God

training,

s are invited in, but if Amin

had not given Amin the idea of firing me.
I remember very dearly one day when
I was driving between Kampala and
Jinja; about ten miles out, a newscaster
started reading out a list of officials who
had been sacked. As soon as he started
reading the list, I just burst into joyous
laughter—I expected my name to be
among those fire n all. Unfortunate-
ly, to my great disappointment, the list
ended without my name being men-
tioned. I was thoroughly depressed. That
would have been the only way for me to
leave Amin's service. Resignation is im
possible, Amin feels he is the one who
knows when you are tired, when you are
slow, when you should go into retire-
ment; not the other way round.

PLAYBOY: Your resignation would have
implied criticism and therefore put you
in danger?

KYEMBA: Absolutely. Even up to now, по
body can afford to resign and stay in the
country. You post your resignation from
abroad and remain where you are.
PLAYBOY: Has anyone resigned and te
mained in Uganda?

KYEMBA: Only one that I know of—a Nu
bian—to whom Amin gave a big bakery
For anyone else, it would be suicide
Amin would accuse you of knowing that
something was going to happen. "Why
are you abandoning the boatz" he would
say. "How do you know there is danger?
Who have you been plotting with?” Exile
is the only answer.

PLAYBOY: Why did you decide not to go
into exile earliei
KYEMBA: I could have done so, but living
in exile is not an easy thing. Have you
thought how difficult. is to leave the.
country you love? Uganda is a beautiful
place. I never want to live permanently
anywhere else. You remember Churchill
called it the Pearl of Africa? More prac
tically, though, if I left, I wanted to ensure
that my departure would have maxi
mum effect. And between 1972 and 1974,
І was in a relatively minor ministry. My
rture would not have made much
act on Amin. It wouldn't have made
much difference, Several other senior min-
isters and officials left about that time and
Amin pretended nothing had happened.
But the strongest reason for staying was
one that now seems wildly optimistic: 1
thought that because of my personal rela-
tionship with Amin, he might listen to
what I had to say. Г had to consider all
those things. I thought I would serve my
country better if 1 remained.

PLAYBOY: Still, six years is a long time to
serve a tyrant whom you knew to be
committing mass murders.

КҮЕМВА: Of course it is, too long. I will
always have it on my conscience. My rea-
sons for staying were largely selfish ones
and so were my reasons [or fleeing. On
the other hand, don't you think that to

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parade such gi is a form of self-indul-
gence? Lots of officials fled and, by fleeing,
ensured that they lacked the knowledge
to speak up effectively. For м!
sons, I have that knowledge. The impor
t thing is that my knowledge should
become public, should be turned into an
effective weapon ast Amin. Should I
have fled earlier and spared Amin my
revelations? Should 1 have left that task
to someone else? Would there have been
someone else? And what would you have
id to him? Or to anyone who remained
long cnough to tell the truth sufficiently
strongly to help bring about Ami
downfall? How do you set my private
guilt against the public service that I
think, I hope, I believe I can now per-
form? lf you've got the answers, you'd
better tell me. I'm sure 1 won't have them
for years—if ever.

PLAYBOY: Did anything happen while you
were his minister that justified your deci-
sion to serve him? Were you able, in fact,
to exercise any moderating influence on
him?

KYEMBA: Well, just after the coup, when I
was his secretary, he consulted me on quite
a number of senior appointments in the
Cabinet. And it was а good, experienced
Ca et. It took him some time to reduce
it to impotence. He also asked me, on a
umber of occasions, about appointments

to various committees. On major issues,
he would telephone me and ask me if I
had anything to say. I ed in the
drafting of quite a number of commu
niqués from time to time. So I thought
that I could exercise some restraining
influence on him.

PLAYBOY: And did you?

KYEMBA: Well, no, not in any significant
way. I was wrong. But I am sure I did
save a few lives, occasionally. when I
knew he was being misinformed about
of certain als. 1
remember once, on tour. one of my col-
leagues was arrested. and accused of cer
п activities under Obote. І told Am
I didn't think it truc, When we got
back, he ordered the police not to bother
him any further.

PLAYBOY: Before deciding to defect, were
you ever in any personal danger?
KYEMBA: I don't think so. I knew
very well; I believed I could read his
mind thoroughly and I was able to judge
if he was likely to move against me.
There was one time in 1975, after my
return from China aud North Korea
when I suspected that he might be about.
to move against me. I was held respon-
sible for a shortage of drugs. Somebody
told Amin my ministry had millions of
shillings in forcign exchange for the im-
portation of drugs, yet 1 had left the

the conduct individ

Amin

moncy on deposit in the bank. Fortu-
nately, it was a foolish accusation. The
minisry һай to buy foreign currency
with its local currency and we had none
to spare. We were short of drugs because
the crown agents in England [а semi-
official body that acts commercially for
Commonwealth territories] had stopped
handling Ugandan orders unless we paid
cash, which we didn't have. І told Amin
1 would go if my goin;
situation. Within a few days, he started
flattering me again, saying how well the
ministry was being run again, and the
danger receded.

PLAYBOY: Yet all around you, officials
were killed. You list 100 in the dedi on
to your book whom you knew personally.
Why were you able to survive so long?
KYEMBA: Well, I possibly presented the
least threat.

PLAYBOY: What do you
KYEMBA: I have never had
mbi

would save the

ny political
fact, the last thing I would
to be a minister under
Amin. I was interested in pursuing a
professional civilservice career in the old
sense of the word. I found myself in a
position of trust and 1 was determined
to continue neutral I gave my advice
honestly. But I suppose 1 was also
tu When I knew
was violent and was not prepared to

n. In

have wanted.

survivor, Amin

listen to any advice, I would just keep
quiet, whatever my opinion. But if he
gave me an opportunity, I was happy to
say: І think that is not the way to do it.
So he trusted me and I was never а
threat.

PLAYBOY: Through all the horrors you
witnessed and heard about, you managed
10 react uncritically, is that it? Was that
what enabled you to survive?

КҮЕМВА: That was absolutely vital with
Amin. When Amin is talking, he is also
looking at you, and he is terribly sus-
picious. He is always keen to read your
reaction and he is frighteningly astute.
If he turns to you and says someone has
been shot, he will be watching for your
reaction. If you remain impassive, he will
suspect you of hiding something. He likes
you to be a little shocked. You can say,
“Oh, how terrible.” But it must be only
а personal reaction. You can’t imply that.
he was wrong in his estimations.

Take the сазе of Archbishop Luwuum,
killed in February 1977. You remember
he accused, in the presence of 2000
soldiers and senior officials at that meet-
ing in front of the Nile Hotel, of help-
ing Obote's guerrillas. That was only a
couple of hours before he was killed
and it was announced that he had died in
а motor accident. Well, if Amin had told
me the archbishop had plotted а
him, I couldn't possibly have said,

nonsense!" I would have had to show per-
sonal shock at the death of the arch-
bishop. but then sympathize with Amin
that he had to take the decision, and.
even admire him for his audacity!
PLAYBOY: What was your reaction in
circumstances like that? You said that
when you he th of Mrs.
Bloch, you reacted. only by saying, "Oh,
dear.
KYEMBA: "That's right. But “Oh, $
was hardly а reaction. It was a response
that I had learned to give to Amin. The
only people who witnessed my true fecl-
ings about Mrs. Bloch were my wife and.
a visitor. I took it out on them, shouting
about how brutal and stupid Amin was.
PLAYBOY: Since you lived through the
Entebbe raid and had personal contact
with Amin during that period, perhaps
you can dear up some questions that re-
main. For instance, despite his claims
that he was only mediating, is there any
doubt that Amin was supporting the
Palestinian hijackers?

KYEMBA: No. As his health minister, I
was placed in charge of medi ment
for the hostages. Seve Amin
told me, “Well, Kyemba, now I've got
these people where I want them. I've got
the Israelis fixed up this time.’ nd I
remember that he was very enthusiastic
when he first called to tell me the hi-
jackers had landed at Entebbe.

And you met the h

KYEMBA: Yes. When I was led to the air-
port that day, past the Ugandan soldiers,
1 remember seeing the hostages first. They
were a miserable sight. Then I was in-
troduced to the leader of the hijackers—
a woman who I later realized was the
German terrorist Gabricle. She was very
good-looking, about 30. She nearly intro-
duced herself to me by name but then
said I should call her Miss Hijacker.
PLAYBOY: What was the reaction in Kam
pala to the Israeli raid?

KYEMBA: From my own experience, I can
tell you that a number of civilian casual-
ties were admitted to my hospitals. They
were victims of humiliated troops who
had taken to the streets to prove their
loyalty and strength. The soldiers had
simply beaten up anyone who seemed to
be mocking them. 1 can say also that the
grave of Mrs. Bloch become some-
thing of a legend for local villagers. It
locued in a grass field not far from
Kampala—where, І do not want to say—
bur the villagers are convinced that the
Israelis will return for her remains. One
son 1 do not want to reveal the grave
site is that I think Amin is secretly con-
nced the Israelis might, act, return,
and he could have the body disinterred
and removed.

PLAYBOY: Right after you defected, you
talked to a London newspaper and one
of the things you said was widely quoted
because it was so chilling. You said that

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Amin had told you he had eaten human
flesh.

KYEMBA: Үсз. He has said that to a num-
ber of people, induding a doctor who
nearly collapsed when she heard him
say it. He told me on one occasion that
the flesh he had consumed was more
silty than other meats, something like
leopard meat.

PLAYBOY: You don't think he was saying
it for dramatic effect?

KYEMBA: I don't believe so. He does lic
and dramatize, of course; but he also likes
to emphasize his bloodthirstiness and that
is just the sort of thing he would boast
about. Besides, his tribesmen, the Kakwa,
are still very bloodthirsty themselves.
‘There was a case I was told about in-
volving a Kakwa official who shot some
poachers in Murchison Falls Park. His
driver told me he saw the official stick
his knife into the bodies and taste the
blood. It is done, I believe, to absorb
the dead man's spirit.

PLAYBOY: Have you personally witnessed
any of those barbarisms?

KYEMBA: No, but it is common knowledge

IVY LEAGUE PROSTITUTION RING? among Ugandan doctors that many of

j га the bodies dumped into hospital mortu-
Radcliffe coeds discover a time-honored profession. aries are terribly mutilated. Livers, noses,
lips, eyes and genitals are olten missing.

1$ THERE A NEW RACISM? These follow a definite pattern, and it

Е А сап be safely assumed that the killers
Dick Gregory, Jesse Jackson and Julian Bond propose c performed these ads Om specific

new answers to an old problem instructions. After а foreign-service olf-

cer, Godfrey Kiggala, was shot in June

THE TOP TEN ROLLER COASTERS 1074, his eyes were gouged out and his
One of them just might be in your town. body was partially skinned before it was
dumped into a wood outside Kampala.

РАРАВА220 RON GALELLA Medical reports on the deaths of Shabani
Nkutu, the minister of works, and Lieu-
Follows Farrah Fawcett-Majors in search tenant Colonel Ondoga, the n er of

of the perfect photograph. foreign affairs, who were killed in Janu-
Dee gece ary 1973 and March 1974, respectively,

REBORN YESTERDAY stated that the bodies had been cut open

A and a number of imernal organs had

What's better than Rolfing or est? Theta rebirth, been tampered with.

says D. Keith Mano, after breathing his way back As for the forms of death themselves,
to where it all began, the womb. the reports of sadism and brutality have

not been exaggerated, for the most part.

BRUCE JENNER At the prison of Nagura, there is a

(not to mention Harry Reasoner and Robert Evars) road that runs alongside the compound;

t to me my own bodyguard, Vincent Masiga, lives
interviewed and photographed by Scavullo. there, The cries of prisoners can often

be heard by the residents nearby. Some-
times, in fact, crowds are permitted to
watch executions.

Ali Towelli, the head of the prison,

NOVEMBER OUI g i has developed a particularly sadistic form
е “oe of death. He forces prisoners, on the pre-
ON NEWSSTANDS

text of saving ammunition, to batter out
the brains of another prisoner with a
hammer. He promises them they
will be reprieved if they do so. Тһе
prisoner who has just killed is then killed
by yet another prisoner in the same way,
with the same promise.

PLAYBOY: Amin is insane, isn’t he? What
about the rumors of syphilis, which

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PLAYBOY

supposed to affect the mind in its termi-
nal stages?

KYEMBA: Amin has suffered from syphilis:
his medical records show it. And one of
his girlfriends, a nurse, complained to
me that she had been infected by him
and rendered infertile. But I see no evi-
dence that the disease is progressive. And
even if it is true, it would not explain
his behavior. It is not due to brain dam-
age but to a long-term, consistent pattern
of brutal behavior.

PLAYBOY: What about those around him,
his friends and family? Are they victims
of his brutality as well?

KYEMBA: Indeed. I have interviewed all
his wives. You remember that I said he
had divorced three of his four wives. One
of them, Kay, got pregnant shortly before
the divorce. She went to her lover, who
happened to be a doctor, for an abortion
and died on the operating table. The
doctor dismembered her, hoping to dis-
pose of the body: then, in despair, he
committed suicide. Kay's body was found
and taken to the hospital, at which time
I was told of the affair.

It was up to me to inform Amin, even
before 1 identified the body. I shak-
ing. I got to him and said, "Your Excel-
lency, your former wife is dead, and
terrible circumstances, I
There was no reaction. He just said,
“What has happened?" I said, “The body
is in pieces. It's dismembered in my

understand.

mortuary.” He said, “Have you been
there?” I said, "No." He said, "You go
there and tell me exactly what it is li

1 went. It was appalling. The body was
neatly severed along the limb joints—
the arms and legs in one sack, the torso
in another. I returned and told Amin.
He was not concerned. He said only,
“Oh, is that what has been done? You
go home now.” Then came that order
that still fills me with horror when I
think of it, when he called later to say,
“Oh, could you arrange to sew back those
legs and arms? We'll arrange for the
children to see the body tomorrow.” The
staff did so and the children were brought
in. As they witnessed the terrible spec
tacle, Amin shouted curses at the body
and told his children that their mother
deserved her fate. Then, after that, Kay
vas never mentioned. He had, I sup-
pose, loved her. But it was as if she had
never been.
PLAYBOY: Is a man like that capable of
human emotions? What did his wives say
when you talked with then
KYEMBA: Well, he had appealed to them as
а man belore they married him, but after-
ward, he disgusted them. His attitudes are
so inhuman. For one thing, he looks on
sex as a way of showing his manhood,
his power. He talks about "mecha
tion” as far as sex is concerned. That is
the word he normally uses.
PLAYBOY: Mech:
KYEMBA: Mechanization. That is it. The

iza-

sex act with a woman, He looks at it as
a mechanical achievement. The machine
works and something results—for him, a
public display of his manhood. Hell say,
“We need some mechanization round
here,” or, “She's good for mechanization.”
It is not something that has any cmo-
tional import for him. To have a woman
means that the machine is working all
right.

PLAYBOY: Why is it, then, that his image
as а man of humor and I ty has
icd—along with the reports of his

KYEMBA: I think that is the one point
that has led to the greatest tragedy ii
Uganda and in the world at large. Amin
has a talent for deception, where he hides
behind his charm. He can sit with you
at the table, enjoying a cup of tea or
coffee, while next door a former friend
is being slaughtered. He'll give someone
anything if he believes he needs to make
pression, to win him over. I have

“We have seen delegates
walk out of conferences
as soonas the South African
foreign minister starts
to speak. Itis worse
when Amin appears—or
should be. He should
speak to empty chairs.”

seen him hand out fistfuls of dollars from
his briefcase. He gives away cars, houses—
anything. He will lavish hospitality on
anyone he thinks might be useful. Yet he
may kill the same people just as easily.
PLAYBOY: "Then why is he still considered
a hero by some? Man ican leader
fuse to condemn him.

КУЕМВА: It is not true that African lead-
ers have not condemned him. Amin has
been condemned by a number of individ-
ual African leaders in no uncertain terms.
President Nyerere of Tanza con-
demned him forthrightly. — President
aunda of Zambia has condemned him.
The president of Botswana, Sir Seretse
Khama, has condemned him.

PLAYBOY: What about the fact that he
was given an ovation at the Organization
of African Unity summit meeting in
Gabon in July?

KYEMBA: I do not believe that that was an
ovation in the real sense of the word. It
was a misunderstanding by the Western
press. It was pure irony. a way of jcering
at him. He managed to tum up in a
Western-built jet, in Western uniforms,

with medals all over his body. He was
huge and dramatic. It was like applaud-
ing a brutal version of King Kong. Here
is this giant who comes out of the
gtave—you remember, there had just
been an attempted coup and he had
dropped out of sight—and even before
the people of Uganda know that he has
left, he is addressing the O.A.U. I have
no doubt in my mind that not a single
head of state or senior minister of gov-
ernment could have seriously participated
in an ovation of a person who hed just
murdered an archbishop and two Cab-
inet ministers and was responsible for
150,000 murders. He sparked a sudden
response—ironic applause

PLAYBOY: But even an ironic ovation is
an ovation, and Amin must have ропе
away satisfied. Surely, it's an inadequate
response to a murderer, Don't you think
that the African leaders themselves need
to consider more carefu'ly ways of bring-
ing international pressure to bear on
Amin?

KYEMBA: It is inadequate and the O.A.U.
hes no formal organized condemnation.
Tt is terrible that An can sull take
them by surprise and get a reception like
that. Of course, Ше O.A.U. leaders are
worried about meddling in the affairs of.
member states. Perhaps the same thing
could happen to them someday. But
there comes а time when self-interest no
longer justifies that support. Amin should
not be allowed to get away with those
appearances on the world stage. We have
seen delegates walk out of conferences as
soon as the South African foreign min
ister starts to speak. It is worse when
Amin appears—or should be. He showd
speak to empty chairs. 1 hope and pray
we shall see some firm words from the
O.A.U.

PLAYBOY: What are the chances of a more
immediate solution, such as assassination?
KYEMBA: Well, there have been several
attempts on his life. There was one just
recently, in June, just before the last
O.A.U. summit in Gabon. I had lelt by
then, so I don't know the details. But
there was one attempt in which I was

almost involved.

The occasion was a police review.
Alter the review, the VIPs, Amin in
cluded, all went to a reception in а
nearby hall. After about half an hour,
Amin decided to leave. We crowded out
of the building with him to say good-
bye. Outside, in the compound, were a
muss of cars and people all waiting 10
see him. He had an open jeep waiti
for him, its windshield removed—
boyant form of transport in which he
often liked to show himself off as а man
of action. Seeing the crowds, he decided
to dramatize his departure. He ordered
his driver into the passenger seat, took
the wheel himself and spun the jeep out
of the compound gates. I was standing

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PLAYBOY

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watching him go, with the others, whe:
we heard an explosion, I learned later, a
grenade had cxploded just beside the
front wheel on the passenger side. An-
other grenade went off just behind the
jeep. The first one blasted a splinter of
metal into the forehead of Amin's driver,
who slumped down in his seat. Amin
accelerated away and, as he went, seized
a grenade from his briefcasc—he always
carries grenades in his car—and held it
up to his teeth. He thought he was go-
ing to be chased and wanted to be ready
to toss the grenade over his shoulder.
The driver died later. It was ап extraor-
dinarily lucky escape—Amin should have
been in that seat.

PLAYBOY: Would you advocate assassi-
nation?

KYEMBA: Well, I'm not a violent man. I
would never advocate a solution I could
not perform myself. But the suffering of
the Ugandans is so intense, I would cer-
tainly welcome it if he were
It is the quickest answer—there can
never be a popular uprising, because
Amin's grip on the country is so strong
and international action does, as you say,
take time to work.

PLAYBOY: Could the army take over?
KYEMBA: Well, it might. But Amin's own
policemen—and there are almost 20,000
of them—are so scattered through the
armed forces and the police that it would
be difficult for dissident army officers
organize a coup without being discov-
ered. That's why a lone assssin might
be the only answer.

PLAYBOY: And what happens when Amin
goes?

KYEMBA: It could be very nasty. The
southern Sudanese know the game they
are playing. They have nothing to hold
them to the country except Amin and
his luxury goods. If he goes, they will
flee north toward the border. But, of
course, they have a long way to go and
they have to go through the very tribes
who have borne the brunt of Amin’s
attacks. If those areas hear of Amin's
fall before the southern Sudanese get
through, there could be the most frightful
massacres.

PLAYBOY: What then?

KYEMBA: It's very hard. There is virtually
no authority that can take over except
the army. And the amny is terribly dis-
credited, deeply involved as it is in Amin's
reign of terror. But it will, I'm afraid, be
the only possible force for peace, and it
will be helped by the disappearance of
the southern Sudanese. To regain the con-
fidence of the people, it will promise the
earth, disassociate itself from the excesses
of Amin. But those are the very tech-
niques Amin used. They will have to go
beyond that—to suggest a rigid timetable
for a rapid return to civilian rule. If that
works out, then the tremendous numbers
of trained personnel—the thousands now

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in exile—will return and Uganda will
revive.

PLAYBOY: If Amin himself has a chance
to flee, w will he do?

KYEMBA: He's got it worked out very well
He has a ranch in his home right in
the comer where the borders of Uganda
Zaire and Sudan mect. His tibe, the
Kakwa, are far more numerous in both
countries than in Uganda. He's got thou
sands of acres, with goods, саше, arms—
you name it—stored away. I've been up
there. He's got cash by the millions of
dolkus out of the country. He could
hole up there with a hard core of his
army—say 5000 men—and it would be
practically impossible to get hold of
him. He could shift over either. border
with ease. In the southern Sudan, espe
cially, he could carve himself out a little
robber kingdom, until his ammunition
and cash ran ош. What а prospect! It
would take a coordinated military action
by three countries to catch him. And
even if it looked as though they might
he has a plane and a house in Libya. He
could always flee to Qaddafi. Fm telling
you, he shouldn't be underrated. He's
very smart in this sort of operation
PLAYBOY: Whit do you think the U.S.
should de
KYEMBA: The actual removal of Amin
will have to be done by Up; s them
selves. But the U. S. has a very important.
role to play. Amin’s regime is not self
sufficient. It depends tremendously on
supplies from outside—in. particular
luxury imports and planes from the U. S..
from the U.K., Irom France and from
other countries. Those are the only
things that allow Amin to survive. He
has Boeings, Gullsweams and СІЗО from
the U.S. They
icans, either in
Surel
mere

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| contacts. In. your country, you're
in the forefront of a world-wide debate
on human rights. President
said it time and again. Amin |

ter has
5 not the

slightest regard for human rights. There

are organizations Tor the internation.
prote

m ef wildlife everywhere: is it
100 much to expect that the international
community should protect human lile
everywhere?

PLAYBOY: Aside from its political and in
dustrial power, do you think the U.S.
has а particu
its larg

r role to play because ol
black community?

КҮЕМВА: Absolutely. It has amazed me to
see the extent to which Amin has suc
cessfully exploited his color with the
American blacks to excuse his excesses
Blacks are right t0 һе suspicious of white
aiticism because of past oppression. But
in this case, that attitude has masked the
truth. It is now not a question of black
or white but a question of humanity. It
is outrageous that some of the black com
munity have ignored the deaths of tens

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PLAYBOY

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of thousands of Ugandans, merely be-
cause the Ugandans happen to have a
black leader: if that is the price of having
a black leader, one wonders if it is right
to have one. Amin is an international
criminal who should be got rid of.
Anyone who associates with him is an
accomplice. 1 know. I was an accomplice
for a time. Eventually, you must act
or bring discredit on yourself and on your
government.
PLAYBOY: UN Ambassador Andrew
Young, in his Playboy Interview and
elsewhere, severely condemned Amin.
What effect did that have?
КУЕМВА: Amin has to be condemned out-
right by black communities wherever
they are. Amin has tarnished the image
of black men. It is up to blacks to op-
pose him. I must regard the statements
of Andy Young, therefore, as of consid-
erable importance to the world at large.
He has shown that there need not be a
double standard by which the civilized
world judges atrocities—one for the
white nations and one for the black. You
remember former UN Ambassador Dan-
iel Moynihan had tried to lead condem-
nation when he called An a “racist
murderer”? Well, that he is.
Andy Young has agreed in so many
words. Let the black community show its
concern and back him up. We have
sanctions imposed against Rhodesia,
quite rightly. It is terrible, isn't it, that
Amin continues 10 enjoy the apparent
support of the U.S. Government, while
a person who is committing fewer, lesser
aimes in Rhodesia gets a worse con-
demnation? The U. S. is the greatest pur-
chaser of Ugandan coffee. Amin's planes
are serviced in the States. The more 1
think about it, the less justification I sec
for the United States not to act. Does
that make sense?
PLAYBOY: Perhaps, but the British have
argued that to cut off trade would be to
harm the Ugandan population. What's
your reply to tha
KYEMBA: That is just nonsense. Isn't the
Ugandan population suffering already?
АЙ the luxury supplies from Britain
the "whiskey run”—two flights k
worth $70,000 each, are meant solely for
Amin's army and his thugs who ае ter-
rorizing the population. The people in
the villages don't have the essential com-
modities—sugar, salt, soap. They are
slipping back a century, economically.
They make soap substitute from the
leaves of pawpaws. Nothing from Britain
from the U.S. goes beyond Entebbe
or the immediate supporters of Amin. All
the items supplied from the flights to
London are directed to the army shops,
which supply cach army unit. Officers
can get anything from radio cassettes to
golf clubs, toys to car accessories, clothes
to furniture. The only way that a few of
those things filter through to civilians is

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Tor the army officials themselves to sell
them at exorbitant prices to traders, who
then sell them to the few people who can
afford them at ten times their ordin any]
cost. It is not fair to
porting A
tented the ordinary people in Uganda
will ever get anything. nyone really
think it right to support Amin's planes
so that he can send his family to Libya
for medical treatment or to New York to.
do some shopping, while the ordinary
man in the village has not got a bicycle
to take him from his village to the hos-
pital for treatment?

PLAYBOY: Do you think there is enough
evidence to show that a firm interna-
tional response will have an effect on
Uganda's internal affairs?

KYEMBA: Certainly. On a number of sig-
nificant occasions, Amin has been hi
miliated by foreign powers. When the
two Americans, Nicholas Stroh and Rob-
ert Sicdle, were killed in 1971, the
U.S. demanded an investigation—which
pointed the finger of suspicion ata senior
officer and thus to An He was utterly
humiliated by the Israeli raid. He

pedaled fast when Carter threatened mil-

ry action in support of U.S. citizens
in Uganda. Yes, any firm international
response has an effect image is tar-
nished so thoroughly in Uganda itself
that even the army is likely to move
against him—even his own tribesmen.
PLAYBOY: All right. You're now in exile,
and we've worked together intensely for
a month. Have you told everything you
know?

KYEMBA: No. I keep remembering new
details as we get things into perspective.
Last night, I remembered the case of
Mrs. Augustina Kyewalyanga. It’s too
e for the book, isn't it? Her husband,
a doctor, had a serious illness and was
admitted to a hospital. His first wife had
died and he had recently married a
young girl. Dr. Kyewalyanga was thought
io be suffering from terminal cancer.
"There was clearly intense fecling in his.
mily that his new wife might possibly
inherit all her husband's wealth and that.
she should not do so. The family there-
fore arranged to use Amin's system for
its own advantage. The patient was to be
transferred to a hospital in Germany and
Mrs. Kyewalyanga was to get some funds
out of the bank for the journey. А fe-
male relative of the doctor's went to the
hospital while she was visiting her hus-
band and told her she could drive her to
the bank, She drove her instead to a
prearranged spot where some army chaps,
hired for the killing, were waiting for
her. They snatched the woman and took
her to the outskirts of Kampala, cut her
throat and burned the body. In normal
circumstances, that would have been
murder and an casy matter for the po-
lice to act against. But nobody took any
notice. The president happened to be

in the hospital the very next day. I took
him to sce the doctor before he was trans-
ferred and told Amin what had hap-
pened. He took no notice. A head of
state! He never bothered about it. The
doctor was horribly shocked and dis
traught, as you can imagine. But nothing
was ever done.

PLAYBOY: What happened to Kyewal-
yanga?

KYEMBA: Oh—extraordinary. He went to
Germany and survived. He's still therc,
Ithink.

PLAYBOY: Do you feel at all
about the publicity to which you will be
subjected as your story becomes known?
KYEMBA: Well, I believe I have a very
special role to play in ending the Ugan-
dan tragedy. Naturally. I am bound to
come in for some publicity, which was
never my cup of tea. I always detested
the camera and television. But I have
made my choice. ГЇЇ do whatever seems
necessary to publicize what I have to say.
PLAYBOY: What impact do you think your
story will have in Uganda itself?

KYEMBA: Of course, neither the book nor
this interview will be available in Uga
da. But people will undoubtedly codi
the book in and hide it under mattresses
It is vitally important to find some way
to make this story available to my coun-
trymen. Ugandans are as starved of the
truth as are foreigners and they will be
determined to read it.

PLAYBOY: Is there onc particular exam-
ple—a single brutality—that stands out
in your mind as an overriding indict-
ment of Amin’s regime?

КҮЕМВА: As I have said, I have been
aware of a great number of brutalities
committed on Amin’s orders. Despite my
knowledge of them. despite my associa-
tion with Amin, it was not possible for
me to prevent those murders. He was
careful to always present them as faits
accomplis. The old lady, Dora Bloch, was
taken from my own hos and mur-
dered. The Anglican archbishop and two
Cabinet ministers were murdered and
thrown into my own hospital mortuary
I've becn expected to tell lies to the
world. So, no: not one single brutality—
many. And is something that will be
on my conscience until I die, too.
PLAYBOY: Are you afraid of dying—per
haps at the hands of someone connected
with Am
KYEMBA: There is a remote possibility
that Amin would pay one or two people
isinate me. There is also the pos-
t some of the things I have
g are unpalatable to certain
exiled aspirants to Ugandan leadership.
But, no, I don't fear for my life. I think
с done my bit. I would have felt very
bitter and unhappy if I had not spoken
out. But having done so, 1 do not fear

to die.
в

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article
ByROY BLOUNT JR.

CHAIRMAN
BILIX

ORIGINAL QUOTATIONS FROM THE FIRST REDNECK—ON BEER, BLACKS,
WOMEN, ONCE-A-WEEK SEX AND HIS BROTHER, THE PRESIDENT

"WHAT WAS HE REALLY LIKE?” I was asked on
the way back from Plains.

“Wonderful. We drove all around, drinking
beer and throwing the cans out the window and
meeting veterinarians and talking about goats
and monkeys and getting out to piss in the high-
way right near a billboard that said NAIL BEGGAR
WEED IN PEANUTS and- S

“Yeah,” this guy said, looking skeptical. “But
how much of that was calculated?”

“Well,” I said, "I know part of it wasn't. We
were trying to piss on the shoulder.”

But this guy still wasn't quite ready to buy
Billy Carter's act, as he saw it. A lot of other
people are.

“There's that goddamn invalid woman!"

“Billy, she's been waiting all day.”

“I don't give a goddamn. I don't care if she és
a goddamn invalid.”

‘A middle-aged woman on a walker is making
her way resolutely in a drizzling rain from door
to window to window to door of the Carter
ut-warehouse offi
wants to meet old Billy, the President's brother,
hero to beer drinkers and workingmen, who is
trying to get some work done so he can get awa
and drink some beer.

Outside, in a street that never used to see any
tourists except an occasional one who was seri-
ously lost, people from all over America are
hanging around, pee aiting for Billy to
emerge. And now three old folks have just barged
right in through the front door past the No
ADMITTANCE sign. “We've come all the way from
Atlanta to sce Bil one of them announces.

“Lady,” says Randy Coleman, Billy's office

manager, “we have people come all the way from
Japan to see Billy. But I can't give him to you if
he's not here, can 12”

Billy is hiding in his inner office. The visitors
peer around suspiciously. Finally, they leave, mut-
tering, and Billy—chunky, blue-jeaned, intense—
re-emerges into the anteroom, shaking his head
and sucking in cigarette smoke that never scems
to come back out. He looks a little like Opie, the
kid on the old Andy Griffith show, grown up and
considerably filled out and harried half to death.
His expression cases when he picks up his bull-
penisin-rigor-mortis walking stick. “The other
day, we had a lady in here holding it. She sai
‘Ohhh, what's this made of? " He goes “Неспһ-
heenh-heenh” in his distinctive, nervous, stran-
gled and infectious laugh.

“Dear Gussie,” sighs Billy's big, blonde, serene,
ironically smiling wife, Sybil, She doesn't say it
loudly enough to hurt the new visitor's feelings.

Another onc has gotten in and he has caught.
Billy flat-footed. A spry Bermuda-shorted man

gentleman your uncle over at his antique shop,”
the intruder says. “He said you'd be over here.”
At that, Billy's friend Tommy Butler, the Swift
& Company salesman, known as Tommy B.,
begins to make faces and act like he's choking,

Glumly, silently, with the air of а dog being
dressed up in baby clothes, Billy takes the beer
and holds it up and the man snaps the picture
and hands Billy his card and urges him to stop
by the next time he's in Cincinnati and gocs
away happy.

Billy begins to chase Tommy B. around the
room. “I didn’t say anything,” Butler whoops,

SCULPTURE BY JUDITH JAMPEL / PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM ZUK

Lj
ж

PLAYBOY

114 BOOKS through your talk shows. . . .

dodging kicks. One thing that really riles
Billy is to hear his cousin Hugh Car-
ter, Jr—an encourager of tourists and а
frequent opponent of Billy's in local po-
litical matters—referred to as his uncle.

A thump is heard against the side
door. The phone rings and Billy's sec-
retary says, for the umprcenth time, “No,
Im sorry.” At home, Bills phone is
off the hook. Too many bomb threats
coming in. The listed phone at his
gas station is off the hook, too. A while
back, one college kid won $48 in an
afternoon of answering it, hanging up
and betting another college kid that it
would ring again within 45 seconds.

Outside, a bus operated by one of the
town’s 12 tour services is passing. A
megaphonic voice says, "There goes one
of Billy's daughters!”

The daughter, Jana, 18, wearing
at shirt that Says TWINKIE, bursts
Momma, one of the chickens
has its head under another one and I
think she's cating the eggs.”

Sybil ys, “Chickens don't eat
eggs. That's at Tittle pigs.”

Jana is relieved. Someone mentions
that a research organization is taking a
survey at Billy's gas station to see what
percentage of Americans are willing to
show a stranger their belly buttons on
request. “I wouldn't do that," says Jana,
"but Га throw ‘em a moon."

"That old crazy man called," Randy
tells Jana with relish.

the

“No! The one that chased me in
Americus?” The police and Billy had had
to be called. “What did he wane?”

“He called asking for a job

In an adjoining office, piles of strange
tributes may be see wood carving
that reads, inexplicably, THERE'S A PORK
снов IN EVERY BILLY. A cake, reading
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SOMEONE WITH STYLE,
mounted on four upright beer cans, Doz-
ens of huge floppy hats made of beer
cans crocheted together, Several cases of
strange offbrand beers. "Four or five
different cases come in every week," says
Sybil. “We have to throw most of it away.
You can't be sure what somebody might
have put in it.”

This one’s Guatem sys Billy.
"Probably wash the bottles out with
sewage.

Many people who, as Billy says, “claim
they are women authors" have sent in
copies of thei ss books, in re-
sponse to his assertion on the Mike
Douglas show that women could do some
things well, but writing books was not
one of them. This not, of course, а
defensible assertion, but the books that
have been mailed in tend to bear it out.
They come with i Maybe
and God willing you will read this truc
BOOK even if written by a woman. You

proply [sic] got an avelange [sic] of

"Maybe you have never experienced the
vibes that would get you into the head
of a wom:

"Here's a poet wants you to autograph
a poem so he can sell it,” says Sybil. She
is going through the days big stack of
fan mail. “This man says he has a thing

for Jimmy about heating and if he's in-
terested, to call him.

“Twill send you round-trip bus far
You can stay with my two boys and.

‘I sent your mother a life-size picture
of Christ and she answered with a sweet
letter, but your sister-in-law never. . . ."

“This one's marked on the envelope,
"Mr. and Mrs. Billy Carter, Very Person.
al’ Then it begins, "Dear нь...”

“This man wants you to go into busi-
ness with him. ‘It wouldn't hurt your
image to be the first person to strike oil
in Georgia. There are definite hydrocar-
bon deposits. . . ~
get them out.

“This lady asks which side you would
have fought on in the Civil War.”

Tell her Га probably hid out in the
swamp,” Billy says.

Sybil rolls her eyes. “One lady in
Rome wrote to say she wanted a picture
of Billy to replace one of the two Popes
she had on her wall. People keep w
in to say we're real, Oh, how
thought we were artificial.”

“You can tell your brother to Kiss my
ass," Billy tells Randy, whose brother, a
state legislator, has just voted for legaliz-
ing 14-foot-wide trailers on Georgia roads,
something Billy is against because “Geor
а roads are only sixteen feet wide.”
Your cousin Hugh was the one pushed
it through,” Randy says.
already told him—several times.
What if somebody comes to take us
hostage?” someone asks. “I'm getting a
shotgun in here.”

T already got two,” Billy says.

Randy В scanning the tourists with
binoculars, looking for good-looking
women among them. Various members of
stalt and family join him at the window.

“There's a man going to the bathroom.”

“Where?

"Look at that lady in that box there.
What's she doing:
Selling tickets.
To what

“To look at the man going to the
bathroom.”

Billy tells Sybil a friend of theirs has.
asked him to put in an appearance at a
function the same day he's already been
asked to be in several other places. “1
don't know what to tell him.

Tell him no, Billy."
You call him.

“No, I'm not g
Iearn to say no, Billy.

Tilly sighs. "When I was on the To-
morrow show, I drove to Albany and flew

g to. You've got to

ош of there at ten A.M. and back in at
one-fifty the next morning. I must've
spent four thousand dollars of my own.
money traveling to things before I started.
getting ехре Anything to get away
Irom Plains for a while. Plains is one big
ip-off. You can't buy a quart of milk or
loaf of bread anymore. Just Jimmy Carte
souvenirs.”

Billy takes a business call in his office.
In a few minutes, mufiled shouting can
be heard.

Another of Billy and Sybil’s six chil-
dren, their daughter Kim, 21, comes in.

"Who was that little writer, went back
and wrote that I looked like Daisy Mac?”
she asks after a while. “Said I walked off
g my behind? Sat right over there
on that couch. Little bitty man. And you
all made me go off with him and show
him around tow:

Billy bursts out of his office, enraged by
his phone call. “Do a favor for the man,
and then he screws me out of two thou
sand dollars. One thing I can't stand
to have a man tell me I can't call him а
goddamn son of a bitch when that's exact-
ly what I just finished doing. 1 think I'm
going to go into Albany and hit a man
and get throwed in jail!"

But here are some more people, an-
other elderly threesome, strolling in.
"They want Billy to come out and pose on
the doorstep with them.

“No am, I can't.

“We heard you were а good old boy.

Billy draws away to the far side of the
room.

“Said you were the nicest person in the
world.

“Yes'm.”

“Well, you're not being too nice now.”

There is a pained silence. Looking lil
е been denied a civi
ts leave. It’s noon! Boom!
Billy and Sybil and Jana and Randy
nd Tommy B. and I dash outside and

leap into the Blazer—toi e bang-
ing on the sides, the lady on the walker

is bearing down, she is yelling son
thing; the car pulls off in a cloud of dust
nd we are off to Americus for lunch.
"Now," Billy says, "do you sec why I
hired an agent?"

“You better love me!” Tandy Rice had
exclaimed over the phone a few days be-
fore. He said he had persuaded his new
dient to Jet me hang around with him
for this article, if it turned out that we
got along. “And I can't imagine anybody
not getting along with Roy Blount
Tandy had cried in his Mod-Southe:
evangelist-gone-more-than-about-hallway
worldly voice. "Unless they run over
your damn dog with their car!"

That is the way the Presidents broth-
ers agent talks. He is 38, dresses shan

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PLAYBOY

116

moves fast, has a bright toothy smile and
an intermittently hard cast of eye.

“Im just a litle country booker,”
Tandy may tell you, but in the eight
years since he bought Top Billing, Inc.,
the Nashville-based booking-and-manage-
ment firm has gone from a single tele-
phone line to 12, any one of which is
likely 10 be answered by someone crying,
"Hi! How you doing?" Top Billing han-
dled Dolly Parton's bookings before she
shifted her business to Los Angeles and
still books singers Tom Т. Hall, Dotty
West, Del Reeves, Little Jimmy Dickens,
Jim Ed Brown and Helen Cornelius, and
humorist Jerry Clower, whose stories
about coon hunting and chain saws have
achieved great grass-roots renown. “What
happened, I read that the William Morris
Agency had signed not Gerald Ford but
the entire Ford family,” Tandy says.
“And the William Morris Agency is my
competitor. And I'm probably the most
competitive man that сусг lived. Son, I'll
tackle a buzz saw. We went after Billy
with letters, Mailgrams and phone calls.”

‘Tandy went down to Plains and shook
hands on the deal with Billy. “He gives
his word, it’s bond,” Tandy says. "He's
the kind of guy, to paraphrase Jerry
Clower, if he says a pissant will move а
bale of hay, I'll start clearing a space.” A
more formal agreement was worked out
between Tandy and Billy's three Amer-
icus lawyers, of whom ‘Tandy says respect-
fully, “They're fat. And they like
Anything Top Billing arranges for Billy
is subject to veto by the lawyers and by
Sybil.

But neither they nor Billy has yet
balked at anything Tandy has lined up.
Like Billy's friends, children, mother, gas
station and wife (if not his brother), Billy's
agent seems to just about fit his pistol. I
wish Tandy hadn't turned down Satur-
day Night Live, which wanted Billy as a
host, but he has a good sense of what
events suit Billy best. “He's presenting the
Golden Ratchet Award, to the best team
of auto-race mechanics. Ain't that cute as
hell? Here's one—the World Champion-
ship Belly Flop and Cannonball Contest
in Vancouver" And Тапдуѕ people
handle all the arrangements and collect
in advance the $5000-a-day fee, so that
Billy can just show up and be natural.
One day, first in Tandy’s offices and then
in a Nashville bank lobby, 1 watched
Billy meet, pose [or pictures with and
equably insult nearly everybody in Nash-
ville who owned a set of dress clothes.

“She's a lawyer now," Tandy said, in-
troducing someone.

“Oh, I don't like women lawyers,"
Billy said. “Tandy done introduced me
to thirty lawyers. Anybody knows that
many lawyers can't be honest.”

‘Tandy beamed.

“That's quat a sports coat,” Billy told

a man who had been waiting in line for
20 minutes.

"I only paid fifteen dollars for it,"

man said.
"You both got screwed," said
“The wit and wisdom!
Later, surveying the
full of politicians wa
and a photo, Tandy
man... . It's
what it is.” From time to time, Tandy
counsels with Billy about avoiding im-
politic statements. Billy nods and goes
out to make more of them.

"He's the biggest celebrity in the world
today!” says Tandy. "And 1 hope you're
laughing with me, not at me, because I
can just about defend that statement." A
group in North Carolina wrote in, Tandy
says, listing the people they would most
like to have address them. In reverse
order, those people were the Six Million
Dollar Man, Wonder Woman, the Fonz
and Billy.

Currently, Tandy is committing Billy
to no more than four appearances month-
ly. In other areas, he is holding out for
such big money—reportedly, $150,000 is
his price to publishers desiring Billy's
participation i autobiography—that
the only contract signed so far is with
Revell, Inc., for a Billy Carter toy truck.
‘Tandy is turning down offers of minor
television roles on programs like Holly-
wood Squares. A movie or TV special
on Billy is what Tandy has in mind.

Big endorsement deals have for some
time been in the works, Landy says, with
“a peanut concern and a beer concern.”
Inasmuch as Billy has been affording
Blue Ribbon a steady stream of free
publicity since his entry
I leaped to the condusi
concern is Pabst. “That's just what every-
body assumes, Tandy says, rather de-
fensively. He may be resisting that
assumption on the part of Pabst people.

Billy scems willing to go along with
most any commercial that won't take up
too much of his time, whether it befits
the President's brother or not. As a mat-
ter of fact, he would probably enjoy it
more if it did embarrass the White
House, although 1 doubt that he would
go so far as to do a 90-second spot for,
say, South Korea.

But—and this is onc of the things that,
in my view, has kept the mercha
of the First Brother from being sor
far—admen might have doubts about
Billy's dependability as an endorser if
they ever listened to one of his speeches.

Billy generally begins his speeches by
throwing the floor open to questions.
"Why is Pabst your favorite beer?" a
quetgoer asked in Tifton, Georgia.
I thought. But Billy told the ban-
quet the same thing he had told me:

“Pabst is my favorite beer because

the

“This

cried,
a dern phenomenon, that's

Robert, who drives their beer truck, is
my favorite beer-truck driver.”

Ever since then, I have been trying to
imagine a commercial with the real Billy

fshpond, perhaps, and he is
holding up a can of Blue Ribbon and
saying, “I'd recommend Robert to any
hiding from tourists be-
a pile of peanuts and grumbling,
“Well, I'm allergic to peanuts"—which
happens to be the truth—"but if I
wadden't, hell, ГА as soon cat: Planter's
[or whatever the brand is] as any others,
1 imagine. As long as they got ‘em from
our warehouse.”

“How come you had your picture in

i ing Budweiser?” somebody
in the Tifton audience asked 1
"The day that was t
dred and ten degrees,
handed me a milk, 1 would've dr

"How about Coors?”

“Coors is about like marijuana. If you
could buy it in Georgia, you wouldn't
want

As a matter of fact, 1 can't remember
hearing Billy say anything favorable
from a podium about anybody or any-
thing except Roy Acuff, Mel Tillis, Blue
Ribbon/Robert and the Israeli army.
This last came when he was asked what
he would do about Idi Amin. He re
plied, “I would send one company of the
Israeli army over there and clean up the
whole mess.”

At the end of his remarks, he was
presented with a fine big jug of Jack
Daniel's—a "Fennesseedistilled whiskey
of which the state is extremely proud—
and a beautiful handmade dulcimer.
Billys response to these gifts was the
most sublimely ungracious acceptance
from a dais I have ever witnessed.

“Thank y'all very much and th
other vicious rumor, that Jack Daniel's is
my drink,” he said. Then, looking bla-
tantly like a man who didn't know what
in the hell he was going to do with a
beautiful handmade dulcimer, he dabbed
bemusedly at one of the instrument's
strings: plank. Tandy looked uneasy.

At the 50th anniversary of a Lewiston,
Texas, car dealership, he said of the
President, “I would give him good
grades, since he's my brother. If he was
not my brother, І would say he has per-
formed average. 1 don't know anything
about national politics, but 1 know a lot
bout agriculture and they're screwing
up agriculture worse than it's ever been.”

Too much bureaucracy is one thing
that's getting agriculture down, Billy says.
“A lot of what they ask for in those Gov-
ernment forms they send out is nobody's
business.” The Occupational Safety and
Health. Administration wants him to put
а couch in the women's washroom, which
isn't big enough to hold a couch. Such
(continued on page 126)

о рошвт about it, it’s been an eventful year in
the world of Playboy, and the ladies who at
tend to keyholders in Clubs across the land
have been busier t robably the busi-

est Bunny of all was Toni I ‚ who was training

recruits for the new Playboy Club in Dallas We
combed the Lone Star State in the Great Bunny Hunt
and turned up 80 longstemmed Texas beauties guar-
anteed to make your mouth water and your whiskers
twitch. You can find them at the Dallas Club, located
on the second floor of 6116 North Central Express-
way—the home of the N.F.L.'s Dallas Cowboys. (Hope
those hoys will be able to keep their minds on their
game.) The new Club is lavish—featuring a Continen-
tal sidewalk café, a glamorous showroom (that offers
top entertainment) and fine dining. In addition,
there's dancing in the Living Room—a dynamite disco.

"The dance floor got a major workout on August third,

when no less a personage than Hugh M. Hefner him-

self welcomed the black-tieand-evening-gown crowd.

Opening ceremonies are the thing these days. Last

December, the Rabbit empire continued its interna-

tional expansion via a Club in the exclusive Roppongi

section of Tokyo. The (text concluded on page 256)

growing by leaps and

bounds, our beautiful cottontail
contingent now graces such
exotic places as japan and texas

BUNNIES ОЕ ’77

There's a new rider of the purple sage—the Playboy Rabbit. The Dallas Playboy Club opened its doors in August. Keeping a loose
rein on the festivities at the Cowboy Building were Bunnies Barby Acker ond Ruby Walker (obove). Moving from the Lone Star
Stote to the state of the stars, the lovely lady pictured top right is Leigh Portner, at the Playboy Club in Los Angeles.

You don't have to go to the big city to find bright lights. The Lake Geneva
Playboy Resort recently opened a dazzling disco. The Bunnies pictured at right

ll to r)—Miriam Plaut, Тапа Reynolds and Corey Landon—can do any dance from
the hustle to the bunny hop. Cathy Gobel (below) was born in Fort Worth but
made the short haul across the Texas plains to the Playboy Club in Dallas.

Unless you buy the Braille edition of PLaveor, you should recognize the Bunny
at right as Hope Olson, our intrepid Playmate for October 1976. We sent Hope
down the Colorado River on a raft (August 1977), then brought her back alive to
work in the L.A. Club, Bunny Desireé DellaPietro (top right) works a different
gorge—the Great Gorge Resort in New Jersey. She prefers riding to rafting.

UR ~
"NY

JPN

Bunny Janet Cornell (left) is a student who works at the Denver Playboy Club. Originally
from Texas, she's a long way from her favorite haunt: the ocean. She loves swimming,
snorkeling—and scuba divers. They can hold their breath longer. Ahem. The lady known only as
Luella (below) is a croupier at the Londan Playboy Club. No—a croupier is not someone with a
cough. Luella handles chips, without fish. Off duty, she prefers backgammon, riding and tennis.

Dana Valentien (above) is a singer, dancer and actress who loves to entertain
people. Keyholders can catch her ot the New York Club. While appearing

in the pages of PLAYBOY satisfies one of Dana's lifelong desires, it probably
creates one for aur readers, The lovely Yufuko Tani (left) is a Bunny at the new
Playboy Club in Tokyo—henceforth to be known as the Hutch af the Rising Sun.

The suntan tells a tale.
Shannan Starling works

in the Miami Club and
spends most of her days

in the great outdoors:

^| leve art, animals

and the cauntry. The cily's
nice, but I'm a form girl.
I've lived an ane all my
life." Shannon likes paint-
ing, drawing, macramé
and cats. Phaenix Bunnies
Christy Brumfield and
Sharon Theis (right) are alsa
at home in the sun: Christy
likes “winter mountains and
forests. Summer nights by

the расї. Coakouts in the
desert.” Sharon likes “flow-

ers, stars, rainbows, bike

riding and the moon." Did

122 they leave anything aut?

Have you noticed that

а disproportionate number
of our well-proportioned
Playmates come from Cali-

thing in the drinking
water, what's left of it.
The primory benefici
of this unequol distribu-
tion ore keyholders who

t the Ployboy Club

LA's Century City.
One of the beouties who
will greet them is
Playmate Sheila Mullen
(above). East Coast key-
holders needn't feel left
out in the cold. C. C.
Morales (left) migrated to
New York from Puerto
Rico. She likes men of Itol-
ian and Mexicon descent. — 123

Janis Schmitt (below left) mokes it obvious thot the St. Louis Club obounds in beautiful
Bunnies. (One of her close friends, Patti McGuire, is Playmote of the Yeor.) Jonis is her-

self o condidote for Playmate. Bunny Cindy Brown (below right) works ot the Denver Club
when she is not studying business management. Among her hobbies are cots,

cutocross ond needlepoint. Cindy is olso a bollerino who loves seofood ond hotes cold feet.

Condoce Collins (right) is this yeor’s top cottontoil. Noturolly, she works in

the Chicogo Club, the better to inspire PLAYBOY editors. When Condace is not

in the hutch, she swims or ploys tennis and racquetboll to offset her love of
Southern cooking. New York Bunny Sorita Butterfield (opposite) would like to be
a greot singer and a successful disc jockey. We'd play her records any time.

PLAYBOY

CHAIRMA

BILLY

(continued from page 116)

“О: What has all this fame done for your sex life?"
4: ‘Nothing. It's still once a week? ”

complaints have led Senator Herman Е.
Talmadge of Georgia to praise Billy in
the Congressional Record as a man who
does not pull any punches,

Billy has not invariably drawn enough
people to justify his fee, and one event—
the annual Swamp Buggy Races in
Naples, Florida—was blighted by adverse
reaction to his being paid 510,000 for
the weekend when all the buggy drivers
together had made only $3000 the year
bef 1 am told that some of Billy's
question-answering sessions have been
uninspired. But I have seen him before
four different audiences and cach time,
he was cooking.

Т її the Carter that won't tell a
lic," he frequently says, but he doesn't
tell polite lies. “ГИ lie like hell in a
minute, but I aint humble worth a
damn.” Here is a representative sampling
of Q's and A's:

“How is Miss Lillian?”

“My mother very seldom speaks to me
unless she wants something.

“How do you get along with your
brother?”

"We get along fine as hell as long as
shington and I'm in Plains."

you ever lust for a woman be-

sides Mrs. Carterz"

“You know I said I'd answer
question." Pause.
а damn fool."
“Were you accused of cheating in the

every
"You must think I'm

РІ;

“Ma'am, the accusation wasn't exactly
that. The accusation was that 1 was do-
ing it like hell and lost.”

What has all this fame done for your

‘Nothing. It's still once a week.” `
Are you smarter than your brothei
I know I'm smarter than Jimmy. Е
think I'm smarter than Glor
Would you spend a night i
White Hou

“Not in Lincoln's bedroom. If there
was a George Wallace bedroom. . -

Did you accept outside contributions
for your race for mayor?"

"Well, I didn't get any local contribu-
tions. 1 got some money sent in, but 1
айса it all back, saying I didn't need
it. Cost me thirteen cents a contribution
to send it back. After the clection, I
found out I did need it.”

Did you really sell beer on Sunday?
nday used to be my best day. It is
against the law in Georgia. I got caught.
I didn’t know how to plead lazy, so my

the

pg lawyer said plead nolo contendere. 1 said,

‘John, I better plead just as guilty as
hell, because that’s what 1 ат” He said
it wouldn't cost me a thing. Cost five
hundred dollars. I'll never plead again."
What do people think of you back
Plains:

“They took a poll to see who was the
biggest son of a bitch in Plains and I
won hands down. And you'd be surprised
some of the son of a bitches running
against me.”

"Are you for legalized gambling?”

“Хо. If they do that, П have to pay
a tax on it, to

“On the serious side, would you spec-

"What do you talk to your brother
about?”

“Well, he's got this blind trust, and it's
got so blind now. . . . 1 used to talk to
him about peanuts. Can't do that now.
We can talk about the fishpond, but
we start charging people to fish, we can't.
talk about that. ] guess we'll start talking
about nut grass except they got some
stuff now that they say will do away with

1 you really think your brother was
going to be elected President?”

Well, I bet twenty-two thousand dol-
lars on him."

YES, BUT HOW MUCH.
OF THAT IS CALCULATED?

I feel sure of my ground when I say
at Nashville writer John Egerton was
en when he wrote in The Меш
Times that Billy has retained not
only a booking agent but also gag writers.
Conceivably, that notion arose while Billy
was addressing the tourism folks in Nash-
ville. He was following his usual format,
which is to stand squarely behind the lec-
tern, take a swallow from a can of beer,
field a shouted question, squint, lean into
the microphone, toss off an irresponsible
answer, sip again and giggle deeply. After
some 20)
“Who writes your speeches:

Billy looked over at the press table,
where I was feyerishly taking notes. As
though offering the audience a chance to
see his writer at work, he said, “Right
there; Mr. Roy Blount does.”

1. of course, felt honored, but І can
claim to have written Billy's gags only
into a notebook and only after he pulled
them.

Billy talks all day long the way he does
from a podium, only more expansively.

nutes of this, someone cried:

DID BILLY EVER OWN A GOAT?

I'm glad you asked that question. Billy
had the smartest goat I ever saw.
Id sit up here in the front seat and
people would think it was one of the
kids. It wasn't housebroken, but anything
it did on the floor it would either drink
ог eat, so it didn't have to be house-
broken. I'd take it down to the gas station
and it'd cat all the cigarette butts. 1 hated
to get rid of it, but I came to find out it
had been stolen. It was a hot goat. So 1
took it into Atlanta and left it in Ch;
Kirbo's law office,

IS BILLY A REAL REDNECK
OR A BUSINESSMAN?

You're assuming that the two categories
are mutually exclusive. ГИ say this: Until
recently, Billy had a 49 Studebaker in his
front yard. It had a piece of angle iron for
a front bumper, there was hardly any
paint on it and it took ten quarts of oil
to get it started, Sybil made him remove it.

“Do you know how much value the
in а 1949 Studebaker that runs?”
demanded as we drove to Americus for
lunch. Nobody responded. “OK, when I
have my party with the five thousand dol-
Jars I get from selling my Studebaker, I'm
not going to invite y'all.

“I just didn't want it in my front yard,”
said 5)

"WI hen it was there, we didn't have all
those tour buses turning around in the
front yard," Billy said.

People might say that Billy doesn't dress
like a businessman. He wears jeans and
boots and a wide belt with a big buckle.
In Nashville, he stood in the doorway of
his hotel room dressed in coat, vest, trou-
sers, tic, off-white shirt and everyt

banquet. He grimaced a
rather eat shit than wear a suit."

On the other hand, Billy gets to the
warehouse at 5:30 А.м
and runs the sizable family business well.
And, ashe has pointed out in his speeches,
he probably makes a Jot more money than
the President does. Not even counting the
$500,000 he stands to make this year from
appearances.

DOES BILLY RESENT HIS BIG BROTHER?

Well, once during the Presidential cam-
paign, Billy kicked a dog all the way
through a press conference Jimmy was
holding. But that was because Jimmy was
holding it on the scales outside the
house and a long line of peanut
trucks was backed up, waiting to weigh

It is generally assumed that a cert
gap exists between Billy and Jimmy, dat-
ing back to Jimmy's being away during
most of Billy's boyhood and then return-
ing and presuming to act paternally to-
ward him after th 1 diced. But
rather than repress the tension. between

“Гат a very busy man, Miss Smith. I can't wait for your orgasm."

PLAYBOY

them, the brothers tend, publicly, to ac-
knowledge it slyly. I remember when,
deep into the vore-counting night, after
my had been projected as President,
someone asked Billy on television what he
was going to do now and he said, “Stay up
all night and when he gets here, still call
him Jimmy.”

And when he did get there, Jimmy said,
“The first thing I want to do is thank
Mr. Carter for waiting up all night to
Incet me. Everybody's got to call him Mr.
Carter till dinnertime.”

Part of the impetus bel
flowering as a public figure is his un-
spoken message that "I, the President's
brother, ain't only the President’s brother.
In fact, I grew up more original and more
like Daddy and deeper rooted and more
independent and sounder and wilder and
a hell of a lot more normal than he d
Like any entertainer or politician of in-
terest, Billy is insecure enough about that
proposition to need to keep proving it
but secure enough about it to be con-
vincing. When people ask him whether
Jimmy objects to any of his statements,
he says, "No, and I don't get after him
for some of the things he says.”

Psychology aside, I would say Billy
genuinely resents the fact that he can't
hang out is beloved filling station
anymore and has had to move to a new
house outside Plains because of the tour-
ists his big brother brought in. On the
other hand, I think he genuinely appre-
ciates being able to spend his weckends
getting $5000 a day going around the
country drinking free beer and raising hell
with stock-car racers and country singers.

It is true that Billy sleeps badly, smokes
and drinks more than is healthy, shows a
lot of aggression and has apparently been
known to get a chip on his shoulder. And
when he gets tired and loaded, he stutters.
Once he tried to cure his stutter by means
of some kind of therapy that involved
staring at a candle flame. "After a while,
I thought that candle was my mother.

He may resent something. He may re-
sent that people tend to assume that a
man from south Georgia is quaint. for one
thing. And he may resent that his father
died when he was 14 or that he is going
to die himself sometime. In Nashville, the

а lady asked
in life was and
he said, “Ma'am, it's to live to be forty-
one. And I think I'm over the hump.”

HOW COME BILLY POPPED UP.
OUT OF NOWHERE ALL OF A SUDDEN?

"There's a vicious rumor,” Billy says,
that 1 was hid from the Baptists during
the "66 governor's campaign." It does seem
strange that Billy was so little heard of
even in Georgia until national reporters
started going to Plains. But according to
АПама newsmen who covered Carter

128 campaigns from the first, Billy was never

covered up. He just didn’t strike Georgia
reporters as too remarkable. Most people
who run for anything in Georgia have a
brother or two along Billy's lines.

"He was not perceived as a wit or a
talent,” says one Atlanta newsman with
asperity. "He was no dunce, and beneath
the surface he was sensitive. But I always.
viewed Billy as an ill-tempered, bad sort.
During the governors campaign in "70,
he would get really upset and offer to
punch people out if they wrote badly
about Jimmy. After Jimmy was elected,
Billy invited me to come down and go
bird hunting with him. If Га promise to
walk ahead of him the whole time.”

"The reporter stayed home.

WHAT DOES BILLY DO FOR
ENTERTAINMENT WHEN HE's NOT
BEING A CELEBRITY?

"Running dogs, drinking liquor and
eating turkey nuts" are things Billys
friend Dr. Paul Broun says they enjoy
doing together. I have heard of folks’ eat-
ing a lot of things, but never turkey
gonads. “You fry "em," says Dr. Broun. "I
never cleaned a turkey to get any myself,
but a dog trainer in Leesburg, Georgia,
gave us a big hog-nut and turkey-nut
dinner. Turkey nuts аге... bigger than
a pecan.”

Billy also derives pleasure from driving
around drinking beer with friends like
Bud Duvall, who superintends the gas sta-
tion for him, and Tommy B. They'll stop
in at the Plains Country Club, which is a
small cinder-block building with a pool
table inside and a sign outside saying,
MEMBERSHIP FREE. Or they drop by the
Americus Moose Club, where Billy still
fits right in, though nobody else there is
world-famous. Once a year, at the end of
peanut season, he hosts a hat burn
This custom began опе night when Billy
got to drinking and dimbed on top of a
car and burned up his hat. The only price
ol admission is to bring a hat and burn it.

Sometimes Randy Coleman from the
office will drive him around. “The first
time Randy drove me and Tommy, we
got to fighting and I had my loaded 38
cocked and holding it to Tommys head.
and it scared Randy to d * Billy

He enjoys reading—"chemical maga-
es or something light. Or if there's
nothing else, encyclopedias. Just to read.
A mystery that I was unable to penetrate
is exactly what titles he reads. When
I pressed him on that point, he was eva-
sive. When I pressed his friend Broun,
he said, “Billy reads just anything he
puts his hands on. It docsn't make a
whole lot of difference to him what it is.
He's a real rapid reader. He read one
book in the time it took us to fly from
Nashville to Columbus, Georgia.” Broun
couldn't recall the nature of that book.

Billy entertained himself and others
pretty well the night of the Presidential

election. "We had eighty people in the
house and didn’t know but four of ‘em.
One of ‘em introduced me to one other,
so then I knew five. Next morning, there
were sixteen asleep on the floor. Sybil got
dozens of bunches of flowers from people
we never heard of the next day, thanking
her for the hospitality. We drank up a
whole lot of champagne and everything
else in the house, and all the beer at the
station, and then we took up a collection
of three hundred and sixty dollars to buy
more liquor and drank all that. Then a
stewardess showed up with a case full of
atures. We still kept running out.

Ву that time, 1 was down at the depot
and Sybil saw me on television and called
down there and told me to stop drinking.
1 was supposed to be interviewed live.
But then they had a delay of twenty-two
minutes and, in that time, I started
drinking again and drank nine beers,
and then I disappeared. I don't know
what became of me.”

JS BILLY PREJUDICED?

"When did you get over being preju-
diced?” І asked him the fint time we
talked. I assumed that he had gotten over
it, since Miss Lillian and Jimmy said they
had and since Billy had sued the mem-
bers of the public school board to try
to require them to send their children to
public schools instead of to private segre-
gated schools. “I'm still prejudiced, 1
guess,” he said. “It would still bother me

for my daughter to marry a black man.”
But the person he most enjoyed mect-
ing during the campaign was the former
Adanta Hawks center Walt Bellamy,
who is seven feet tall and black. (The
two people he told Jimmy he wanted to
meet were Bellamy and John Glenn; of
the two, Bellamy was the one who suffi-
ciently impressed him) And Billy is
friendly with Kenny, the traveling black
American Express man whose stops
dude his gas station. "Kenny is going to
ruin my redneck image,” he says. То
illy's surprise, he trusted Bill Turner,
the black pilot who for a while flew out of
Peterson Field, the airstrip in Plains.
“I'd never been in the air with a black
pilot before. I didn’t know what to think.
But he’s a good pilot. I'm particular who
I let fly my kids, but he's real nice to
them, makes sure they get to their next
connedion." And Billy sends his kids to
integrated pub schools, because "I'd
rather fight than quit.”
As a matter of fact, Billy tends to make
his school suit sound like a local political
struggle more than a stand on principle,
but Manuel Maloof, an Atlanta tavern-
keeper and populist politician who is a
friend of Billy's, says that Billy used to
come into his place wearing a Wallace
button and speak privately with feeling

about the rightness of integrated schools,
(continued on page 193)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DON AZUMA

< "the. edible "kind. Our infatuation with
= a DO oos: goes back hundreds of thousands
‘> ge Tof yeam. They were among ihe first

“food Sources for the evolving primate

dreary image in the United States th
largely deserved, considering the wa
they're prepared. (continued on page

there, standing over six feet in her three-inch heels.
Her voice is just what you imagine a tall, sultry blonde's ought to be: brea
and full. The litdegirl quality is there, too, mixed in with the femme
big eyes blink with sincerity, her fingers—accented by long, bright-ted п:
the flower in her hair, as her pouting ruby lips tell you she's "very insecure.
I used to read about Marilyn Monroc. 1 felt as though 1 could мшу with
her. I learned something from her. Her suicide was like
Rita grew up in a doseknit, conservative Catholic family in St. Paul, Minne-
sota, She says her parents tried to shelter her from the dangers of being young
aordinarily lovely. But at the still-tender age of 17, she declared her independence

If you're in Minneapolis, you

might want to stop at Mickey's

Diner, Rita’s “absolute favorite
place to eat” She might be

there, golden hair glimmering,
ruby lips parted for a bite of

ріс: Remembering how Lana
Turner was discovered at a soda
fountain, you'll probably wish
you were a movie producer. But
don't worry about Rita. She's
already been discovered.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY

much to their cha-
grin, moved out.

"I learned later that my
parents were right about
5o many things,” she says,
the 17-year-old entering
her voice, "but I had to
find out on my own. I was
very naive and men took
advantage of that. I al
ways worried about what
other people thought of
me, and I was only secure
about my looks. I realize
now that you can't put
your values in looks or
money, because when you
lose them, you won't have
anything."

Now, at 24, Rita is
somewhat reserved, almost.
shy. She says she would
never have considered
posing for "some of those
other magazines" and that
she was surprised that the
PLAYBOY people were so
professional. "I didn't
know what to expect. I'd
heard all sorts of thing:
like they photograph you
body and put another
girl's head on it and that
none of the information
on the girls is real. І was
afraid that maybe after all
the preliminary shootings
they would decide my
breasts weren't big enough

me more relaxed. It’s good for me. It's something I
need. I like an aggressive yet gentle man. I want to feel like a woman, swept off
my ject and carried away. I guess you could say I enjoy being dominated.”

“It’s very important for me to be needed for what
Тат, not just for how 1 look. Sometimes I think that
pretty women are the loneliest people in the world.”

or something and ask me to
have plastic surgery."

Rita was happy to discover
that nonc of the above held true.

While discussions of her beau
1y put something of a strain on
her, Rita is relaxed when she
talks about her Jove of the out
doors. She enjoys biking, camp-
ing and fishing.

She also loves to cook. There's
a faithful homebody waiting
within Rita for the day she de.
cides to settle down.

"E have this inner desire to
be a mother,” she confides, “be
cause thats very precious, 1
would have to have that in my
life. One day, I know ТИ have
a home and just center myself

on my kids and my famil

Right now, she’s living in her
own apartment in $. Paul and
working as a model, and mar-
riage is still a fantasy. But she
guarantees that whoever she
does marry will haye to be one
hell of a man.

“I've learned to be very picky
about my relationships. I have
to have а man who can teach
me. He has to satisfy more than
my physical need. And he's got
to have the same interests I
have. He has to like outdoor
sports, keep his body in shape
and yet not mind just si
home and looking at telev

With Rita, who'd have time
for television?

“I like strong, passionate lovemaking. But that’s something that usually
develops after being with someone for a long time. I'm the type who generally stays
136 with one person because it takes a while to achieve that mutual fecling.”

to know my hopes and
dreams. Because to open up is to
be vulnerable, and I don't want
to be hurt. I haue to know I

have somebody I can depend on."

Rita describes herself as a “good

it. This particular
pos ех сш set up camp far

enough from the highway so as
not to cause any auto accidents.

“I love swimming,” says Rita, “because it tones up ту
body." (She's got tone to the bone.) This time she lets
a tube do the work for her and is delightfully upended.

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

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TURN-OFFS : ZIP LP JU „
7 Ü
ОЛД ал024 АТИЛА ON 7 4

FAVORITE AUTHORS:

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FAVORITE MUSICIANS ВИ Е

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Having the hots for his luscious new secretary
and knowing she was superstitious, the man in-
terrupted dictation one morning to say, “What-
ever can I do to shake the feeling that
something unpleasant is going to happen to
me today?”

“You could knock on wood, Mr. Frisbie,”
the girl replied.

Frisbie looked intently into her eyes, then
shifted his gaze lower to her ripe endowments
and, finally, let his glance slip down to the area
alongside which she was seated. “I have a still
better idea to strengthen that good-luck effort,”
he got out rather hoarsely. "Lets both of us
get down and bang on the floor!”

1: is my professional opinion,” the tax account-
ant harrumphed to his callgirl client, "that
after ten years in the business, your snatch has
fully depreciated.”

Marooned in a strange city by bad flying
weather, the solitary drinker was bored. “Say,”
he suddenly addressed the bartender, “ГИ bet
that the Democrats in Congress”

“I don't permit talk about politics in my
bar,” interrupted the martini mixer.

A few minutes later, the visitor assayed,
“People say that the Pope——”

“No religious talk, either,” cut in the bar-
tender.

“Look,” persisted the frustrated patron, “can
I talk sex?”

“Yeah, that's allowed,” replied the bartender.

“In that case,” said the drinker, “fuck you!”

An ecology zealot’s ambitions

To control atmospheric conditions
Caused the fellow to pay
For a lay every day

To reduce his nocturnal emissions.

Maybe you've heard about the Army noncom
who had stripes tattooed on his penis so he
could pull rank.

Darling,” murmured the noJonger virgin bride,
“will it always be as good as that?”

"Honey, exulted her more-than-satisfied
spouse of a few hours, "that was just for
openers!”

When an applicant for a sawmill job claimed
that he knew lumber so well that he could
identify wood chips by smelling them, the fore-
man tied a bandanna over his eyes and put him
to the test. After a few minutes, the mill man-
ager came out of his office with his secretary,
walked over and asked what was going on.
When the foreman told him, he grinned, waved
a finger under the blindfolded man’s nose and
asked, "What's this one, Mac?"

"The fellow sniffed, resniffed and then sniffed
again. "Thats a tough one," he finally said,
“but at least I've got it narrowed down. It's
between piss elm and pussy willow.”

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines boys’ pubic
hair as sonny tufts,

A lonely surveyor named Shand
Gave in to a native's demand:

She was eager to screw. . . .

It was then that Shand knew
He'd at last got ihe lay of the land!

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines virgin as a
girl who stops at nothing.

We understand that a certain filmdistribution
outfit finds itself in an awkward legal situa-
tion. Having quoted a New York critic in an
ad as saying that one of its pictures left him
limp with laughter, it now has to fight a law-
suit brought by the critic’s wife. She claims her
husband has never recovered.

A husky high schooler was standing on the
corner with his hands in his pockets when a
smartass college girl came along and asked,
"What are you doing. kid—playing pocket

"Naw, what I'm playing is elevator," was
the answer.

“Ном do you play that?" asked the coed.

“Well, it's up now,” grinned the youth, “and
maybe you'd like to go down on it.”

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a. post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg., 919 №. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

"Someone here isa very warm human being."

145

FIGHTING THE DEEP FREEZE

attire By DAVID PLATT everybody remembers—ugh—how cold it was

last winter. here’s some heavy outerwear artillery to keep those chill winds at bay

Above: Talk about turning the other cheek! At least he’s keeping warm in a hooded
shearling pullover with snap V-neck and vertical front pockets, $600, warn with а
bulky wool turtleneck, $100, corduroy slacks with tapered legs and tabbed
ankles, $75, and rabbit-lined hogskin gloves with elasticized wrists, $75, all
by Bill Kaiserman for Rafcel; plus a pair of insulated lace-up boots, by Herman

м6 Survivor Boots, abaut $50. (Her clothes are by V & J Design, Hot Sox and Hot Nitz.)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRUCE LAURANCE /PRODUCEO BY HOLLIS WAYNE

Above: It's snow far, snow good for
these two guys, sporting (left): a
loden coat, by Poley Associates,

$235; wool pullover, by Daniel
Hechter, about $65; corduroy
jeans, by Wrangler, about $14;
padded-suede shoes, by Verde, about
$30; scarf, about $15, mittens, cbout
$20, and tam, about $15, all by
George Grahom; ond (right) а syn-
thetic raccoon porka, by Lakeland, $145;
knit turtleneck, $60, and matching

cap, $10, both by Gant; poplin slacks,
by 8ert Pulitzer, $80; acrylic boots, by

Dunham, $42; and lambskin gloves,

by Gates, $16. (Her clothes are
by Dawn Fashion Leather, Halston,
Hot Sox, Fabiano, Crections

IIl and Vera.) At right; What a hond
warmer! And we also like his quilted
coat, $115, knit sweater, $100, cor-
duroy slocks, $40, all by Pierre

Cardin Relax Sportswear; wool shirt,
by Pendleton, $31; fringed scarf, by
Elliot Gant for Handcraft, $22.50;

knit cap, by George Grahom, about
$15; and shoes, by Eddie Baver, $25.
The other snowman wears a down-filled
jacket, by Lions Mane, about $100;
flannel shirt, $48, corduroy jeans, $55,
both by New Man; plus a knit cap, by
Pendleton, $5; cowhide shoes, by Roots,
$33.50; ard pigskin gloves,

by Gates, $20, (Her outfit is by

Ben Kahn, Beged-Or, Dunlap Weavers,
Seven Star and Portfolio.)

Above: No snow flakes here, just guys in
great cold-weother garb, including (left) а
pigskin suede coat with fox lining,

by Jean-Baptiste Coumont for Beged-

Or, $480; knit pullover sweater, by

Egon Von Furstenberg, about $5

striped shirt, by NikNik, about $3

ond double-plected gabardine slacks,

by Country Britches, $45.

Center: Notural Canodian long-haired-
beaver coat with shawl collor, by

Ralph Lauren for the Tepper Collection,
bout $3000; plus a windowpone-

ploid jacket with three angled flop
pockets, $250, pleoted flannel

slacks, $80, pinstriped cotton shirt,
$52.50, and wool chall $22.50,

all from Polo by Ralph Lauren.

HER FUR IS BY CHRISTIE BROS., BOOTS BY MONIQUE,

Right: Natural Americon gray-fox full-
length coat with notched collar, by
Jeffrey Banks for Alixondre, about
$5000; plus a wool knit turtleneck

raglon sleeves, ribbed cuffs and waist,
by the New York Sportswear Exchonge,
$35; ond double-pleated flannel slacks
with wide stroight legs, by Jeffrey
Banks for Nik-Nik Clothing, about $45.

Above: Good skate likes an alpoca/
camel'shair topcoat, by Aquascutum
af Landon, abaut $570; cotton shirt,
about $35, and silk tie, about $20,
both by Alexonder Julian; plus tweed
slacks, by Van Gils for Hank Engle-
bardt, $60; velour hat, by Mokins

Hats, abaut $32; scarf, by Carora, $10;
‘and pigskin gloves, by Gates, $20.

THE LADY'S OUTFIT IS BY CHRISTIE BROS., PORTFOLIO AND HOT SOX,

PLAYBOY

IN THE NATIONAL. INTEREST (continued from page 130)

“The advantage of the weapon was twofold: It was
almost noiseless and was invariably fatal.”

“surer this way.” He was а handsome
1 with lightly graying hair and cool
blue eyes.

Colonel Ori Elad glanced down at his
avid, there be по communi.
ation.” His voice barely rose above a
whisper. “You should hear from me by fif-
teen hundred. If you don't. . . .” He
didn’t finish the thought. There was no
need to elaborate.

‘The truck splashed throu
street of Shuafat, a predominantly Arab
suburb of Jerusalem. There was a local
legend that the Hebrew prophet Samuel
had been buried in Nebi-Samuel, a small,
now virtually deserted town on a hill
overlooking their community. A mosque
covered the site, considered holy by the
Moslems, as well as by the Israelis.

A few minutes later, through the mist,
the driver could begin to make out the
shape of the control tower at Atarot.
Although the Israelis had lengthened
and hardened the runway so that Atarot
could accommodate even the Bocing 707,
the airport not become a busy center
of commercial travel. Now it was extr;
dinarily quiet, except for the relentless
pounding of the rain. A sentry popped
out of the mist and stopped the truck at
one of the rear approaches to the airport.
The driver cursed and lowered his win-
dow. David flashed his identification card.
The sentry examined it, then the face
of its bearer, and pulled back in disbelief.
He had never before seen the chief of
Mossad. “Excuse me,” he stammered, and
quickly raised the iron barrier.

‘The truck rumbled toward the far end
of the runway, where a Soviet-built heli-
copter waited in the rain, its rotors spin-
ning gently in the wind. The Israelis had
captured many helicopters during the
'j3 war. They had reequipped several
with a sophisticated computer guidance
system, which permitted helicopter pilots

gh the main

in a flight pattern that followed the con-
tours of the terrai

The truck stopped a few feet from the
helicopter, which bore the markings of
the Syr Force. David stepped into
the rain. He was quickly followed by Ori
and his three commandos. For just a
moment, David stood before his men,
as though he were in silent prayer. “1
shall wait for you here, not at headquar-
ters,” he said. It was clear from the tone
of his voice that there was to be no

150 further discussion, "Good luck.” David

luted his men. They returned his salute
and boarded the helicopter.

Within seconds, the rotors roared into
action, cutting through the rain in a blur
that sent David scurrying back into the
truck. Slowly, the helicopter rose, maki
a broad circular sweep through the
clouds before proceeding in a north-
northeasterly direction. The ride was
rocky for the first 30 minutes, but the
commandos were too busy to notice,
They shed their ponchos, polished their
boots and checked their Kalashnikov
automatic rifles. Each commando carried
a specially equipped pistol. It looked like
an ordinary Colt, but it was electronical-
ly triggered. It was able to fire poisonous
darts up to a distance of 300 yards. The
advantage of the weapon, which had
been developed by the CIA, was twofold.
It was almost completely noiseless; and
its effect, even in the case of a minor
flesh wound, was invariably fatal.

The helicopter carried its unusual car-
go through breaking clouds. Ori studied
the landscape: а patchwork of brown
hills and terraced farms; small villages
with minarets and busy market places;
fields where the soil was rich enough to
produce harvests of tomatoes, water-
melons, grapes, olives, oranges, even to-
bacco; wadis where shepherds tended
their flocks, Almost 1,000,000 Palestin-
ians lived on the west bank, once the
heartland of Biblical Judaea and Samaria.
Ori was born in а Jewish settlement near
Tiberias, which looks down on the Sea
ates were both Jews
hough he had fought in
all of Israel's wars, including the war of
independence in 1948, and had risen
through the ranks to command an elite
force of paratroop-commandos, he had
never developed a hatred for the Arabs
and he cherished the day when he could
rewrn to his kibbutz, He knew that that
day would signal the start of genuine co-
existence between the Israelis and the
Arab neighbors. But, until that day came,
he would fight in his unorthodox ways.

The helicopter lost altitude while fly-
ing over the western rim of the Sca of
lee. Ori sat in a canvas seat, staring.
at the. passing clouds with unsceing еуез.
He recalled a series of exploits his com-
mandos had accomplished, but he sus-
pected none would be more significant
than the one on which he was now cm-
barked. The raid on Beirut’s interna-
tional airport in December 1968 had
destroyed two thirds of Lebanon's com-
mercial air fleet, but it had not stopped

the Palestinian terrorist attacks against
Israeli settlements. The snatching of an
entire Soviet-built radar station at Ras

Gharib, 125 miles south of the Suez Ca-
nal, in December 1969, from under the

noses of the Egyptians, had possessed all
the earmarks of a Hollywood extrava-
ganza, and it had provided valuable
military information; but it had little
practical effect on the balance of power
in the Middle East. The rescue of the
passengers of an Air France jumbo jet,
hijacked to Entebbe, Uganda, in July
1976, had won international acclaim for
Israeli daring and ingenuity—it was
Ori's favorite operation—but it did not
put an end to terrorism. Ori glanced at
his young colleagues. This mission, to
Damascus, was different: It could acce-
erate the drift toward yet another war in
the Middle East or it could stop it.

^Once more," Ori said, "let's go over
the plans. There's not much time left."

The helicopter shuddered as it crossed.
the disputed border territory connecting
Israel with Syria and Jordan. To avoid
enemy radar, it twisted and turned, sud-
denly losing altitude, then regaining it,
but it continued on its general course,
flying across the Golan Heights south of
Kuneitra and, on a bead, toward a lonely
hilltop three kilometers west of the Syr-
ian capital Nothing was visible from
500 feet except an empty Soviet-built
armored car. Ori smiled. His ground sup-
port, so far, was perfect. The helicopter
bounced to a stop not more than five feet
from the car and the commandos jumped
ou

watch
from"
The commandos synchronized their
watches. “Shalom,” the pilot whispered.
Salaamat,” Ori responded with a wave.

Оп got into the driver's seat, his

friends into the rear of the armored car.
The engine coughed once, twice, before
kicking into full power. Ori then drove
the car at a measured pace along a н
row mountain byway toward al-Bakr's
hideaway, perched on a mountain ре:
overlooking an army camp and, below it,
Damascus itsclf. The hideaway, which re-
sembled a Swiss chalet, was accessible
only by a winding road with security
check points interspersed along the way.
It was a heavily guarded road at all times.
Now al-Bakr's praetorian guard had sup-
plemented the normal contingent of po-
lice and regular army troops and the
entire operation had been placed under
the personal control of General Rifaat
al-Bakr, the president's younger brother.
The reason for the special security pre-
cautions was simple: Thc hidcaway was
to serve as the site for an unusual gather-
ing of military leaders from Syria, Al-
geria, Libya, Iraq and the Organization

(continued on page 216)

Y PODWIL

ILLUSTRATION BY JER’

MAN NAMED СОЕ once lived

here, butit could have been
Gatsby. A vast lawn sprawls
beside the graystone English
country manor bounded by red
maples and rhododendrons,
just waiting to be filled with
careless revelers dressed to the
nines and dancing cheek to
cheek to a melancholy saxo-
phone. But the glamor long
ago moved cast to the Hamp-
tons and west to Manhattan
and (continued on page 154)

NICE GUYS
FINISH FIRST

personality

By MARTY BELL
faultless frank gifford’s
climb to media stardom
was an (almost)
unbroken series of
successful gestures

why isn^t

marcia wallaceq

answering
bob newhart’s *
phone?

because she

has all kinds
of terrific
machines to

do it for her

EVER SING xander Gi

Bell (or was it Don. Ameche:
invented the telephone, mau-
kind has been plagued

sorts of hang-ups, from

alls to wire taps.

there's no longer any reason
10 be bugged, provided youre
willing to lay out some long
green for onc or more of the
nifty machines pictured here.
They may nor be quite as out-
rageous as Marcia Wallace, but
you can be sure they'll do
their job without any back talk.

modern living

Right: Pulsar И Mobile Tele-
phane Control Head far car or
boat features ane-handed push-
button dialing, a memary unit
that recalls the last number
dialed and an LED channel-
number display, plus mare, by
Matorola, $890, nat including
antenna and transmitter/re-
ceiver. Far right: The campact
Speakerphane enables yau ta
mave abaut а room during can-
versation, as И features a sensi-
tive micraphane and an adjustable
speaker, by Panasanic, $239.

Right: The Star 2001 Remate
Ultra Speed Tone Diverter
utilizes two telephane lines

ta diver! a coll in less than

опе secand ta whatever phane
number you've programed into
it; reprograming to a new lo-
cation can be done over the
phane, by Buscom Systems,
$995. Far right: Super Phone
features a memary that stares
your ten-most-used phone
numbers far autamatic ane-
touch dialing and a redi
button for busy signols, by
Remca International, $200.

ss ceri]

SAUDE P phone

Right: Camputer-Phane 370 au-
tomatically calculates the cast
of a phone call based an day
ond time rates; alsa displays
simultoneaus manth and date
and cast af local and interstate
calls—all plus a time and day
clack, by Utility Verifica-

tian, $295. Far right: Recard-
a-Call’s deluxe model with
remate-contral message re-
triever ond Vax (vaice actua-
ion) in one unit; Vox permits
the coller ta speak for os

long as he wishes, Бу T.A.D.
Avanti, $300.

Right: Tap Alert B409 pravides
оп around-the-clock manttaring
service that ferrets aut
surreptitious listening devices
оп phore lines ar equipment;

if a bug occurs, a signal

light is automotically turned an,
by Communication Cantrol
Systems, $1500. Far right: The
Wiretap Trap looks like an
ordinary phone but in its base
is a new electronic privacy
system that autamatically
screens aut illegal wire taps,
also by Communicotian

Cantrol Systems, $1500.

PLAYBOY

154

NIGE GUYS (continued from page 151)

* At USC, Gifford had the style, the home-coming
queen's affection and the intellectuals’ scorn.”

this estate on the north shore of Long
Island is now a placid arboretum.

On this warm spring morning, how.
ever, there comes a brief glimpse of the
glamor th се was. A sleek, white
Lincoln Con tal Mark 1V stops be-
side the manor. Frank Gifford steps out
on the driver's side. He has come to this
idyllic setting from his posh home in
Westchester County, from the ABC's
Monday Night Football broadcast booth,
from a mythic career as WASP football
hero at USC
(which recently
the Pro Football Hall of Fame) and from
25 successful years playing the all-Amer-
icin nice guy. He has come to film a
television commercial.

Even he is now casual, in jeans, blue
shirt with white polka dots, tennis
ers and bluc-tinted sunglasses. He reaches
into the back seat of r, pulls out a
garment bag, then
17" He doesn't
Clenches his teeth in а maughty-littlc-
boy smile. At 47, with his tight, tanned
xl distinctively wide, dimpled jaw,
n still get away with that smile. As
alks around the lawn, greeting each
film-crew member individually, I think of
y saying of Gatsby: “If per-
1 unbroken series of succe
then there was something
‘ous about him.”

Gifford heads for a trailer resting be-
tween firs where he will change into the
Palm Beach suit he has come to sell. He
quietly practices the lines he will deliver.
Hal DcBona, the head of advertising
for Palm Beach, says, “We did market
research, questioning 750 men in 50
cities about people like Robert Redford,
. J. Simpson, Alan Alda, Don Meredith
and Bruce Jenner. But Gifford scored
among the highest with men of all ages
and all lifestyles. We make clothes that
h the mass of Ameri nd these men
ih Gifford, understand him,

Those results are not surprising. From
a distance, it appears as if Gifford has
devoted his entire public career to care-
fully cultivating the image DeBona was
looking for. Its what earns him over
$250,000 a year from ABC and about that
much again from other interests, such as

fford could have played Hubbell
diner in The Way We Were and not
had to act. At USG, he had the style and
the smile, the homecoming queen's affec-
tion and the intellectuals’ scorn. With the

nts, he created the image that pro-
vided Joc Namath with the chance to be
ап iconoclast,

He played football with a versatility
no one has ever matched and always
knew what to say. In 1960, when Phila-
delphia Eagle linebacker Chuck Bednarik
made the crushing tackle that gave
Gifford a concussion and premature re-
trement, Gifford told the press it was
not the injury but other personal con-
cerns that forced him to quit. Only now
will he admit said that to protect the
game. My injury was a rare thing. I
didn't want kids to stop playing football
because І got hurt.” And, indeed, after
а year's hiatus, Gifford came back and
played for three morc years.

When he finally retired for good, he
replaced his uniform with suits molded
to his sculpted hody, but that did not
mage. "Faultless Frank," How-
Il calls him, only half kidding.
ata time when athletes can't.
to retire and put their angry exposés in
writing, Gifford comes out with a book
called Gifford on Courage, portraits of
young athletes who have overcome handi-
caps. And on Monday Night Football,
while Cosell combs the field with a micro-
scope for controversy, Gifford describes
the game with the business acumen of a
arnegie graduate and couches his
"s in words softer than a cheer-
ler's sweater.

Risks are for other people, not Gifford,
to take. While Cosell dares host a variety
show or guests on sitcoms, Gifford tri
no venture bolder than broadcasting foot-
ball. In the only two films he’s made
since retiring from the game, Two Min-
ule Warning and Viva Knicvel, he played
himself. He seems perfectly content being
Frank СШога.

At the arboretum, he sits in the trailer
while the make-up man applies coloring
to the scars at the top of his nose and
around his eyebrows, scars that will not
show on camera. This makes many people
wonder whether he has had plastic sur-
gery, which he has not, “I£ I did, m;
wouldn't slant to the left like th
says.

He keeps practi
comes the fou

“Here
есе Palm Beach suit.

g his lines:

says a male model who will ap-
pear with В

“Sorry 1 missed it" Gifford says and
they both laugh.

The make-up man finishes and Gifford
gets up to get dressed. He judiciously
inspects the tan suit he will wear, takes
the handkerchief out of the pocket and
refolds it to his liking. “ really don't
know why PLAYBOY is interested in m
he says. “I've never done anything
controversial,

That is just the point. By being so
carcful not to be controversial, he is con-
troversial. Some evil thoughts must lurk
behind those clear, blue eyes. No one is
that nice.
am a nice guy," he says with a gig-
gle. “I can't remember the last time I was
gry at anything.
I bring up a quote from Frederick
Exleys affecting novel A Fan's Notes.
“Listen, you son of a bitch," Exley imag-
ined saying to Gifford when they were
both at USC. "Life isn't always a god-
damned football game! You won't always
get the girl! Life is rejection and pain

rejection and does ha
regrets. "Acting and playing quarterback
for the Giants,” he says, "are the two
things I really wanted to do, but no one
ever took me seriously" His attempts at
both were chronologically intertwined.

In 1951, as a senior at USC, Gifford
played tailback. During the off season, he
appeared in а couple of forgotten В
movies called Saturday's Hero and All
American.

He was the Giants’ first-round draft
pick in 1952 and played both offensive
and defensive halfback, making all-pro

052, 1953, 1955, 1956, 1957, 1958

Vince Lombardi became the
mis’ offensive coordinator, he recog-
nized Gifford's versatility, limited him to
offense but invented new plays—such as
the power sweep and the halfback option
pass—that utilized his talents. The Giants
were a bumbling outfit through Gifford's
first few seasons, But in 1956, Gifford led
the National Football League in total of-
fense and voted Most Valuable Player;
the Giants won their first championship,
embarrassing the Chicago Bears 47-7
the tide game.

Unul that game, New York had been a
baseball town. The Yankces d the
Dodgers had the best teams in their
leagues and the Giants had Willie Mays.
But overnight, the football Giants took
New York. The season tickets seemed to
fall into the sacred possession of the
executives who occupied the glass towers
of Manhattan; they celebrated Connerly
and Rote and Webster and especially
Gifford at Toots Shor's, Jimmy Weston's
and P. J. Clarke's saloon. “Frank Gifford
went on to realize fame in New York
that only a visionary would have dared
(continued on page 196)

2
2|
3i

mel
ү"
|
m
/
ёд
im
m

“It was terrific, honey. . .. I especially liked the part where you moved!"

155

186

SEX IN CINE/ITT-1077

MAJOR STUDIOS MAY BE PUTTING MOST OF THEIR ACTION ON THE
SOUND TRACK, BUT THE PORNO FILMS ARE LOOKING BETTER THAN EVER

article By ARTHUR KNIGHT rove мау ne a rour-rerrer worn, but it wasn't the four-letter word we heard most

often at the movies this year. Under tremendous fire from church groups, their own Motion Picture Association of America
and, especially, from local politicos out to make a name for themselves, Hollywood studios in 1977 beat a noticeable retreat
from the rampant nudity and semiexplicit sex scenes that had adorned their movies for almost a decade. If Black Sunday had
been made a few years earlier, we would no doubt have seen, during that scene in which Israeli commando Robert Shaw
discovers Palestinian terrorist Marthe Keller in her shower, everything that the Shaw character saw. Aiming for a PG rating
(which, ironically denied because of excessive violence), the film's makers proffered merely a head-and-shoulders shot
of Keller recoiling in terror. In Sam Peckinpah’s Cross of Iron, a German platoon captures a Russian strong point that is
manned by women. It’s hard to believe that in the ten or so minutes reportedly cut from the (text continued on page 200)

WHATEVER TURNS YOU ON: Variety is still the spice, etc, though life onscreen isn't as spicy as it once was. Opposite:
1974 Playmate of the Year Cyndi Wood in а тате light moment from the forthcoming blockbuster “Apocalypse Now.” This
page, top: Roger Moore beds Sue Vanner in the latest Bond epic, "The Spy Who Loved Me” (left); comely terrorist Marthe
Keller cowers in the shower in “Black Sunday” (right). Center: Janice Rule contemplates her erotic art in “3 Women” (left);

Peter Firth rides bareback (and barc-assed) in the film re-creation of “Equus” (right). Above: Faye Dunaway bewitches Wil-

liam Holden in “Network” (left); Ursula Andress and Beau Bridges enjoy sack time in “Behind the Iron Mask” (right).
157

NO, BUT I SAW THE MOVIE: Best sellers are coming back to the
screen, perhaps reversing the *Love Story” trend (do the film first, then
market the paperback). The movie version of Judith Rossner's mov-
ing “Looking for Mr. Goodbar" stars Diane Keaton (above left, with
Richard Gere) as the young woman who meets a deadly date in a
singles bar. Sidney Sheldon’s “The Other Side of Midnight’ features
Marie-France Pisier working her way up in society on her back after
being seduced by John Beck (above right). “The Choirboys," based
on ex-Los Angeles policeman Joseph Wambaugh's latest success, is
all about the misadventures, sexual and otherwise, of some fictional
L.A. policemen and the people they encounter, among them, a domi-
natrix whore played by Phyllis Davis (below left, administering disci-
pline to Peter Brandon). And when writer Peter (“Jaws”) Benchley's
thriller “The Deep” was brought to the screen, moviegoers lapped it
up—partly because of the daring deeds of Robert Shaw and Nick
Nolie but especially because the carly scenes feature beautiful
Jacqueline Bisset, as an underwater treasure hunter, wearing a
T-shirt that’s much more revealing than a wet suit (below right).

HEIL AND FAREWELL: Moviegoers saw swastikas as well as stars in several 1 pictures, among them, “Madam Kitt:

(above left, with Teresa Ann Savoy servicing 5S officer Helmut Berger); “Voyage of the Damned,” about a boatload of Jewish
refugees (top right, Victor Spinetii appeals to Katharine Ross for help); and Ingmar Bergman's “The Serpent's Egg,” set in
Berlin during Hitler's rise (above right, Heino Hallhuber and Irene Steinbeisser switch roles as a bridal couple in drag)

EN Ё J
THAT'S SHOWBIZ: Hollywood's heyday and the big-band era provide
respective backgrounds for “Hughes and Harlow,” with Lindsay Bloom
and Victor Holchak (above), and Marlin Scorsese’s highly acclaimed musi-
cal “New York, New York,” with Robert De Niro and Liza Minnelli (right).

FLAMING YOUTH: The aw a bumper crop of younglove movies, including
“The Van,” with Connie Lisa Marie and Stuart Getz (top left); “First Love,” starring
Susan Dey and William Katt (top right); “Joyride,” with second generation. performers
Melanie Griffith, daughter of Tippi (“The Birds") Hedren; Robert Carradine, son
of John; Desi Arnaz, Jr., son of guess who; and Anne Lockhart, daughter of June, ram-
paging through Alaska (above, a Jacuzzi break in a commandeered summer home); and
“Slumber Party ’57,” with Rainbeaux Smith offering to ball a basketball squad (below).

FUNNY BUSINESS: Sex can
be a laughing matter, at least
in the movies. Woody Allen,
in "Annie Най” finds the
laughter bittersweet; the film
is the semiautobiographical
tale of his on-again, off-again
relationship with Diane Kea-
lon (top right). “Silver Streak”
isa slapstick train chase т
which Gene Wilder and Jill
Clayburgh, about to make it in
a berth, are interrupted by a
dangling corpse (center right)
In he Sex Machine"

tom right), Eleonora Giorgi
and Mario Scaccia are consid-
erably more circumspect than
the impatient couple on their
wedding cake. Meanwhile,
Mae West, who has had a lot
of time in which to learn pa-
tience, savors the beefcake on
display in her newest outing,
“Sextetle” (below), in which
the 85-year-old grande dame
of the double-entendre gets
mixed up with a track-and-
field team. In “Fun with Dick
and Jane” (left), Jane Fonda
finds George Segal’s sexual
petuosity distressing: There's
a gat in George’s pocket.

SHOCKS & SHIVERS: Mining thc lucrative vein of horror
were (from top) “Rabid,” with Marilyn Chambers (here with
Victor Desy) as а vampire in her first straight starring role;
“The Sentinel” with Beverly D'Angelo, Sylvia Miles, Chris
Sarandon and Cristina Raines up to a bit of deviltry; and
“Demon Seed," in which Julie Christie finds herself terrorized
as the helpless object of a libidinous computer's affections.

FOREIGN RELATIONSHIPS: Current imports include “Pigs
Have Wings” (above), starring Ela Martinelli’s daughter
Christiana Mancinelli and Franco Bianchi in a sociosexual
commentary about love on Иайу'з New Ге; France's hugely,
hugely popular “Cousin Cousine" (with Marie-Christine Bar-
rault and Victor Lanoux, top right), a tale of extramarital
bliss; Italy's “Beyond Good and Evil” (with Dominique
Sanda and Erland Josephson, center right), based on a ménage
а trois involving German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche:
Japan's “Utamayo's World” (with Shin Kishida and Mako
Midori, bottom right), which treats, loosely, the life of an
18th Century crolic painter; and “Crazy Horse” (below),
which takes us to visit the Paris night club of the same name.

AMERICA’S HARD SELL: Movies are better than ever
at the local porn palace; while major studios are cooling it,
hard-core film makers are developing their own marquee-
value stars—eg., Jennifer Welles, seen above with Sammy
Teen in "Honeypie." Below, Jeanine Dallon and Michael
Ronds get it on in “Sweet Cakes,” which also features Welles.

EUROPE’S SOFT TOUCH: Films from overseas, which used
to be racier than American ones, aren't anymore—but they're
still lushly erotic. Samples include “Goodbye Emmanuelle,” with
Sylvia Kristel and Jean-Pierre Bouvier (top); “Vanessa,” with
Olivia Pascal and Anthony Diffing (above); and “Maitresse,”
a bit of S/M with Bulle Ogier and Gerard Depardieu (below).

“Spermula,” a soft-core French release with Dayle Haddon (above)
as a semen-swilling vamp, was the subject of а January PLAYBOY
pictorial. Although France technically now allows porn produc-
tion, "Exhibition 2" (below), starring Sylvia Bourdon in a sequel
10 the quasi-documentary “Exhibition,” which showcased Clau.
dine Beccarie as a porno queen, ran afoul of the French censors.

PURLOINED PLOTS: When you see a good story line,
screw around with it! That seems to be the motto of the
creators of the X-rated “Cinderella” (above, with Cheryl
Smith and Brett Smiley as the heroine and her Prince Charm-
ing) and “Blowdry,” an unabashed rip-off of “Shampoo,”
with Helen Madigan and porn stud Pepe Valentine (below).

REEL-LIFE ROMANCERS: The exploits of legendary lovers have long provided grist for cinematic mills, and 1977 was
no exception. Premier danseur Rudolf Nureyev reveals all in his first mo outing, in the title role of Ken Russell's extrava-

gant biography “Valentino”; above, he practices his sheikly wiles on Michelle Phillips. Tony Curtis dallies with 1976 Playmate
of the Year Lillian Miller ‘(below left) and others in “Casanova and Compan’ look at the adventures of the 18th
Century Italian cocksman; and, in a satirical send-up of the спите genre, Gene Wilder impersonates “The World's Greatest
Lover" (with Candice Azzara, below right) in a comedy about Hollywood's frantic search for a successor to Rudolph Valentino.

ERADE BALLERS: There's nothing like a good costume epic to send the blood coursing through a movie buff's
veins—especially when there's plenty of flesh visible underneath. Very much in the style of his earlier “Tom Jones" is director
Tony Richardson's “Joseph Andrews? with Ann-Margret, as Lady Booby, fairly bursting to get at her lusty young footman
Joseph, played by Peter Firth. Above, а friendly feel in the hay. Below, your typical neighborhood orgy scene from the contro-
versial “Gore Vidal's Caligula,” a period extravaganza about the decadence that was Rome. The film stars some respected
British actors—e.g., Malcolm McDowell, Peter O'Toole and John Gielgud—but is being touted as “the ‘Ben-Hur’ of porn.”

$
El

and 1 make the bed neatly. I want to be-
have. Just like summer camp back in
Maine when I was a kid.

Do I feel depressed? Better mother-
fuckin’ well believe it.

August 29: I was called down to the
office of Mr. Max Weger, the camp super-
intendent, who looks like a 33-year-old,
dapper version of Elvis Presley. He struck
me as a bright, mean-minded man. Не
assigned me to a job: clerk in the office
of the prison factory. The factory makes
wooden furniture for the Government, for
judges’ offices and the FBI. ГИ be paid
21 cents an hour, tax-free.

I went down there and met the men
TH work with au, Willie Polk.
laude. Scarlati was
за y who
transported stolen cars from Kentucky to
Ohio. Lembke was mayor of some town
Penus he pocketed Govern
ment ude, a printer, went
for the big score and counterfeited
54,000,000, Joe 5 а medium-echelou
mafioso doing time for possession of sto-
len securities. He's already taken me un-
der his wing (even though he's eight
ches shorter than I am) and shown me
around the camp.

September 3: Allenwood is a minimum-
security “honor camp," whatever that
means. It spreads over 4500 pastoral acres
and supports about 900 head of scrawny
beef cattle, butchered periodically to feed
arious Eastern Federal
no walls, no gun tow-
ers—just a wirefenced perimeter.

It’s casy to escape from Allenwood. You
just walk out when no one's looking
Some men go out for a few hours to
meet their wives or girlfriends at a local
motel. I's risky, though.

September 5: Sure enough, four men
went over the hill this weekend. One of
them had only five weeks left to serve of
а two-year sentence. They say he got а
Dear John letter from his wife. That's
common, I'm told. The three others
flipped out after the Saturday-night
movie, 99 Women, a flick about
dykes on an Italian island prison. The
men took off carly the next morning. I
had to leave the movie in the middle and
ck to bed in the don nd, sur-

rounded by douds of steam, jerk off. I
don't want to be reminded that there's
ап ourside world with women in it.

September 10: Joe T. is about 45,
short, neat, slick, oliveskinned, with
warm, liquid brown eyes.

He tells me about the Wall, Lewisburg
Penitentiary, where he recently spent à
few year

"Ehere's no Mickey Mouse at the Wall.
It’s a fvestar penitentiary—max тах
max. You're the garbage of the world and.
that's where you belong. You're constant-
ly searched. The Man ©

170 Sticks his nose up your asshole.

PLAYBOY

mates of

“1% not really so bad over there. You
get good food at night- I mean steaks
stolen from the kitchen, packed in laun-
dry cans. There are 1300 men at the
. scheming day and

this to avoid pressure building up. The
wops run the gambling. They play for
cigarette cartons, but it adds up, and
you can't pay up inside, you better fuck-
ing well have your old lady pay up on
the street within а week or they give you
blanket party." A blanket party: Dur-
ing the night, they pull your blanket up
over your head, pin you down and beat
the shit out of your brains with short
lead pipes. “And then there's always, I'd
ty, $30,000 or 540,000 in cash floating
around inside the Wall at апу given time,
hidden here and there.

“Booze is made inside—yeast from the
ry, alcohol from the medical depart-
ment. And they get drugs, too. They steal
the drugs meant for other inmates. Their
itude is, "Fuck you. You're here today,
gone tomorrow, maybe doing a nickel,
but I'm doing 20 years, man—I live her
You pass some guy in the hallway over
there at the Wall and just brush his
sleeve and you better say, "Excuse me.’ A
guy doing natural life don’t care if he
kills you. What can they do to him? Put
him in the hole? He's been there. He
don't саге. While 1 was Ше man was
shanked in the chow hall over a jelly
doughnut, These guys were on the chow
line. There was one jelly doughnut left
on the tray. The guy at the head of the
chow line was about to take it when the
guy in back of him reached around and
took it from under his nose and laughed.
and said, ‘Fuck you, bubblebead. So the
guy in front reached up his pants leg and
whipped out a shank he had taped there
and shoved it into the other guy's stom-
ach. And Ле laughed and said, ‘You a
bubblebelly, bubblehead.' He took the
jelly doughnut from the guy's tray as this
guy started to fall. Then he went over to
a table and ate the jelly doughnut while
the other guy Шу on the tile practically
at his feet, blood gushing out of him and.
crying lor help. I saw that happen.”

October 5: The man sleeping next to
me on the left, toward the door a
young black queen named Gerry Barker.
She said to me the other day, rather
sweetly, “Please call me Geraldine. Every-
body does.” And so I did. She's doing
time for a bank robbery she commiued
in Philadelphia—in drap.

She's as friendly а neighbor as I could
want, All she asks in return is а reason-
able amount of discretion, for I'm privy
to the miraculous transform ons that
iometimes occur next to my bed in the
small hours of the Pennsylvania night.
Nearly all the dorm is asleep when sud-
denly, after much clandestine huffing,
grunting and moving about beneath the

covers, Geraldine rises like a phoenix in
the weird golden light, wearing a black
wig. false eyelashes, lipstick and—I can't
figure out where she got it, much less
hides it—a sequined dress. Then she
roams off to wherever that nights assig-
nation is to be held, or else she gets a
d the customary nocturnal sounds
ing, farting and groaning of exiled
men are punctuated by slurps and dis
little moans. I've learned to sleep

through
October 7: A reporter

nd a photog-

camp today. I managed to take the pho-
tographer aside. Their assignment, he
readily told me, was to do a picce show-
Henwood as а counuy-dub prison,
а great | a long vacation. “It's
not quite

"No," he
sion, too."

In which case, of course, Time won't
run the article, because what doesn't con-
form to the editors’ fixed beliefs just
doesn’t see print.

November 20: Willie Polk's father died
and he went home to Toledo on a fur-

that’s my impres-

lough for the funeral. Before leaving, he
made a promise to his friends. And, sure
enough, when he got back this evening—

three days later—he took us into a corner
of the dorm and extended the middle
finger of his right hand. It smelled of
pussy—rank pussy, at that. "I promised
you, dint 12" Willie said. Coming back
on the Greyhound bus, he had wrapped
his hand in gauze bandages, he said, to
keep the smell intact.

December 19: I'm teaching a course in
ative writing to both interested and.

uninterested inmates. Previous session I'd
asked the men to sketch a brief plot of
someth

ag they'd like to do. One of the
т men, Leroy, read his sketch to
soes like this," he said. “Me and

off a bank. Here's the plot. John will
stand by the door, keep an eye on the
street, Eddie sticks а gun in the tellers
face. ke care of the bank guard.

in here? You got a berter plot, how come
you got caught?”

Hard to answer that one.

December 22: Joe Т. was busted yes-
terday for possession of a five-dollar bill,
a Pennsylvania state lottery ticket and
some postage stamps. They hustled him
over to the Wall in handcuffs and today
1 heard he was shipped cast to Danbury.

I bought a six-pack of Genesee beer
from Fitz, the runner, and got quietly
drunk with Scarlati. ГИ miss Joe, He
was a friend and he taught me a lot.

Christmas Day: А rape this morn

171

PLAYBOY

about two A.M. A new kid arrived last
week and some black dudes have been
propositioning him. The kid complained
to a hack but wouldn't name names. So
this morning they dragged him outside.
the dorm, stuffed a yellow towel in his
mouth and raped him.

k. one of my black neighbors, ex-
ined, “Man, they tell some dude, ‘I
na fuck you.’ He say no, they feel
insulted. They didn’t wanna hurt that
hoy—you right, they gentle as lambs—
they just necd some place to stick they
meat.”

Some country club.

By the way, I was right. I heard from
the Time photographer that they won't
run the picce on Allenwood.

January 3, 197 fight broke out
New Years morning in the dorm. Hogg
was drunk and babbling to his buddy,
Blaine, around two o'clock. No one could
sleep and Claude told them to shut up.
Hoge said, "Fuck you, faggot,” where-
upon Claude catapulted out of bed,
clutching a baseball bat, and slammed
Hogg across the side of his shoulder with
it—a good, solid swing. Hogg just stood
there, completely stunned, but he didn't
fall, so Claude : home run.
Next thing, Hogg was down on the con-
crete floor and Blaine was out of bed
with a lead pipe in his hand. Г jumped
up, too. I didn't have a weapon. What
really rattled me was that practically
everyone else did—shanks, pipes, bats,
wooden clubs, coiled springs, even one
guy with a golf club, a six iron, ГА guess.
Where did they all come from?

Somehow, it calmed down and, except
for Hogg, no one was hurt before the
hacks arrived. The weapons vanished as
quickly as they'd appeared. They asked
Hogg what happened to his arm, which
was purple and swelling up fast. "I slipped
in the shower,” he said. He was very
pale. They took him off to the hospital
at the Wall.

Later, Claude said, “I have to sleep
with one сус open from now on."

On Scarlati’s advice, yesterday I bought
4 combination lock in the commissary,
put it inside a knotted wh
and now I sleep with it under my |
Scarlati says if the hacks shake down the
dorm and find it, it’s not technically a
weapon.

January 10: You can buy booze here
for $20 a fifth. Fitz brings me the list
from the Pennsylvania Liquor Control
Board. You can choose your brand and
they have everything, including some
good California wines and French co-
gnacs. I take a six-pack of beer a few
times and then a boule of Chivas Regal.
їз risky, and not the most intelligent
thing I've ever done.
; works on the

tle det.

He just

172 slips under the fence, through the tees

to the road, Route 15, where a taxi's wait-
ing. He makes his buy in Williamsport
through a friend, comes back and hides
it under а haystack.

This morning, he told me that all the
beer froze last night under the haystack.

January 22: A new man arrives, а bird-
like, bespectacled 50-year-old accountant
named Dershowitz. He's serving а 30-day
entence. He's so frightened he's afraid to
talk to anyone.

Today, on the chow line, Dershowitz
is in front of me carrying his tray. A
glass of milk, some tl pea soup, the
inevitable meat loaf, lemon Jell-O. He's
sutrounded by chattering blacks. They
don't menace him, he doesn’t interest
them ar all, but they flow around him
like big, smooth, shiny dark sharks, teeth
so white and sharp, and he starts to shake

nd then. the tray slips from fingers,
Pea soup, and meatloaf gravy spray

n all directions. Dershowitz starts to cry.
Tears leak down ii pink cheeks.
His glasses fog.

"Oh, my," he says. "Oh, my, oh, my, oh,
my.

Not many people laugh. Cadillac Jones,
some badass 200-pound black dude ii
for bank robbery, gently helps Dersho-
witz out of the line to an empty table
Dershowitz, misty tears blocking his vi-
sion doesn't even know who's got hold of
n. he says. Now and
, en route, he says, “Oh, my.”
ас Jones plants the litle man
n a wobbly plastic chair, looks
. finally spots a group of white

men nearby, watching. “Here,” he rum-
bles. "Here's a brother of yours needs

help. Take care of l
1 went over, 100, but Dershowitz didn't

need anything then that Cadillac Jones
adn't already given him.

January 30: Finally, yesterday, I went
out. This was lunacy and I know it, but I
gave in out of a weakness or strength I
can't and don't want to define. rlati
Claude and Willie Polk were going and
talked me into it. They've been planning
it for weeks.

Unless there's an emergency, the long-
est stretch of free time is between the
Гоцг-р.м. count, just after we quit work,
and the ten-P.M. count, just before lights
out. It had snowed again, it was awfully
cold, and Willic said to me final re-
assurance, “Them hacks'll be jerkin' each
other off in front of the electric heater
down at Control."

So at 4:30, with a cloud

bloated sky

already darkening and shutting out all

light from the stars, we put on our warm-
est clothes and walked casually out of the
dorm one by one, pretending to jog down
the road in the direction of the weight
room. At the agreed place, we ducked
under the barbed-wire fence and crawled
through the virgin snow into the hickory

forest. My teeth chattered from the cold.
The branches of the trees were tufted
with snow that fell down our necks. Wi
lie led us about a mile, mostly downhill,
along what the men call the Ho Chi
Minh Trail. We went over the chain link
fence at the road and Claude's brother
from Pittsburgh was waiting in a Buick
with the motor running, the exhaust pipe
sending a cloud of smoke as high as the
tallest tree.

He drove us to a motel on the ош-
skirts of Williamsport. Scarlati wanted to
stop at an Tralian restaurant for lasagna,
but we outvoted him. The feeling of
driving in a warm car, bundled together
that way, was unreal, ecrie, and we were
alternately silent and cackling with lau
ter. Claude's brother
wiches on rye bread and four bottles of
Johnny Walker Black Label and two
hookers waiting for us in the motel. The
hookers were from Pittsburgh and they
were already drunk. They were both bru-
nettes with enormous tits and bushy cunis.
Not my ideal. But I couldn't believe how
warm and soft their flesh was. Mindlessly,
I fucked them both—with a roast-beef
sandwich and three shots of Scotch on the
rocks in between—and so did everyone
except Willie, who couldn't raise a hard-
on. "I knew it," he groaned. "My luck
don't change."

You beat your meat too much back in
the joint,” Scarlati said seriously. Scar-
lati Slept diagonally across from Willie.

Tt started to snow again and Claude's
brother drove us back at eight o'clock,
and we dove over the ch 1 fence
ag; into a snowdrift. The snow made
it hard to see and we were all tired and
dizzy from the Scotch. Scarlati stumbled
in the snow and fcll down—we were go-
ing uphill now, and all of us panting.
helped him up, but he clung to me and
couldn't stop shivering. We could hear
everybody's teeth, a kind of сталу chorus
in the d

“I can't make it,” Scarlati said weakly,
and fell again.

I said, "Come on, Sc nd ried to
help him, but 1 couldn't lift him this
time.

"I can't di

“What?”
A snow flurry hit us in the face. “I can't
do it," he said. He was drunk, “You guys
leave me. Go ahead. Save yourselves." It
was like a bad World War Two movie.

Willie floundered back to us and said,
"You beat your meat too much back in
the joint, Scarlati,” and then he grabbed
him powerfully under the arms and
hauled him up the hill through the hick-
ory forest.

February 16: A dude named Chester
was badly hurt last night. The men had
decided he was the one who ratted on

(continued on page 187)

he whispered.

` PLAYBOY'S
COLLEGE
BASKETBALL
PREVIEW

Sports
By ANSON MOUNT

It's an All-America mano-à-mano confrontation in last season's N.C.A.A. basketball finals as North Carolina's Phil Ford glues himself onto
Marquette's hard-driving Butch Lee. Not close enough, however; Marquette came away with the hardware, beating the Tor Heels 67-59.

IT ALL BEGAN on а wintry morning in early December 1891
James Naismith, an instructor at the У.М.С.А. Training
School in Springfield, Massachusetts, faced the problem of
devising an indoor activity that would dissipate the excess
energy of some of his phys-ed students. He had a workman
nail a couple of peach baskets to the rail of the gymnasium
balcony, divided the rowdies into two teams, outlined a few
rules (no running with the ball, no tackling or eye goug-
ing), handed them a soccer ball and told them to try to
throw it into the baskets.

The new game was a brawling success. Its popularity
spread quickly to neighboring colleges, to other New
England states, then to the rest of the country. By 1899,
ther collegiate league and Yale had traveled.
all the way to Chicago to play several Midwestern teams

Along the way, someone came up with the idea of knock-
ing the bottoms out of the peach baskets so the ball wouldn't
have to be retrieved with a stepladder. Someone else in-
vented the dribble and the game (continued on page 176)

was an in

TOP 20 TEAMS

1. North Corolino ТТ. Nevada-Los Vegas

. Kentucky 12. UCLA
3. San Francisco 13. Holy Cross
4. Marquette 14. Woke Forest
5. Purdue 15. Michigan
6. Arkonsas 16. Syracuse

7. Kansas State. 17. Clemson

8. Alabama 18. Utch

9. Міппеѕаѓа 19. Indiana State
10, Notre Dome 20. Detrait

Possible Breakthroughs: Pravidence, Cincinnati, Oregon,
Duke, New Mexico, St. John's, North Caralina-Charlote, North
Texas Stote, Long Beach State, Oklahoma, Villanova, Louisville.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY GREGG ANTON.

173

PLAYBOY

rules were refined. In 1896, the Univer-
sity of Chicago and Iowa met in the first
game in which the teams were limited to
five players each.

By the pre-World War One years,
basketball had attracted an almost hys-
terical public following. Exuberant spec-
tators became a nuisance and sometimes
a physical danger to the players. Some
players were attacked and mauled. For
years, games were often played inside
Net cages to prevent spectators from in-
terfering. After the cages were aban-
doned, sportswriters continued to call

basketball players cagers, and neither
the players nor the public ever really
knew why.

Basketball is the only major spectator
sport totally original to the American
continent. Baseball derived from cricket
and early football was a variation of
rugby.

Basketball is also the only American
spectator sport that has proved widely
exportable. Except for Canada, the rest
of the world looks askance on our foot-
ball Baseball has caught on in Latin
America and Japan, but other peoples

ALL-AMERICA SQUAD

(All of whom ore likely to теке someone's

All-Am:

team at season's end)

FORWARDS: David Greenwood (UCLA), Jock Givens (Kentucky), Reggie King
(Alabama), Greg Sonders (St. Bonaventure), Mike O'Koren (North Carolina),

Chorles Dovis (Vanderbilt), Wolter Jordan (Purdue), Mike Santos (Utah State

Gary Winton (Army), Presnell Gilbert (San Diego State), "Cheese" Johnson
(Wichita Storel, Maurice Drinks (Duquesne)

‘CENTER:

Jerome Whitehead (Marquette), Mike Phillips (Kentucky), Bob Miller

(Cincinnati), Rickey Brown (Mississippi State), Roosevelt Bouie (Syracuse), Mike
Gminski (Duke), Mike Russell (Техоз Tech), Lorry Gray (Long Beach State), Dave

Corzine (DePoul)

GUARDS: Ronnie Perry (Holy Cross), Winford Boynes (Son Francisco), Roger
Phegley (Bradley), Rick Wilson (Louisville), Kenny Higgs (LSU), Jim Spanorkel
(роке), John Douglos (Kansos), Ronnie Lester (lowo), Ron Carter {Virginia Mili-
tary), Audie Matthews (Illinois), Oliver Mack (East Carolinal, Sidney Moncrief

(Arkansas)

TOP NEWCOMERS

Incoming freshmen end transfers who should make big
contributions to their respective teoms.)

Maurice Drinks, forward . .
Som Cloncy, forward ..
Jeff Ruland, forward
Earvin Johnson, forward .
Ray Tolbert, center ..
Wes Matthews, guard
Herbie Wi
Kenny Раде, guard
Albert King, forward .....
Gene Banks, forward ...,
Jeff Lomp, guard, . front
Kyle Macy, guard ..,..........
Reggie Hannoh, forward ........
Sammy Drummer, forword .......
Oliver Mack, guard ....-
Darnell Valentine, gvord.
Brion Johnson, forwerd
Bob Fowler, forward . .
Philip Stroud, forword .....
Steve Smith, guord
Darryl Smi
| Cliff Robinson, center “ta
| Mark McNamoro, center .....
Ken Jones, forward ,
| Troy Hudson, guord x E
| Gerald Sims, guord ‚.,............
|
|

lioms, center

y forward о.

« -Duquesne
Pittsburgh
Michigan State
Indiana
2. Wisconsin
«Ohio State
Ohio Stote
-Maryland
а curs Duke
Vits
- -Kentucky
+. -Florida
-Georgia Tech
Eost Corolina
vee... Kensos
. Colorado
-+ -Jowo State
Texas

- Southern Colifornio
1... Southern Californio
2:2. Southern Californio
«Santa Claro

«St. Mory’s (Calit)
Northern Arizona
;Nevado-las Vegas

think it is a massive bore. Yet there is as
much basketball hysteria in Vladivostok
or Belgrade or Melbourne as in Los
Angeles.

And the game's popularity continues
to grow apace in this county. Of the
245 colleges that have Division One bas-
ketball teams, 82 have built new arenas
in the past ten years, Thirty-nine of those
arenas have more than 10,000 st It's
estimated that over 27,000,000 people
attended college-basketball games last
winter and many times that number saw
high school games.

The major reasons for the game's
popularity are apparent to every fan:
fast-paced, continuous action, the combi-
nation of finely tuned skills with physical
endurance, complex strategy, the psy-
chological war of nerves played by
opposing coaches. But there is а less
obvious reason: the heady dreams of
glory that the game inspires, not only
in the players but also in avid fans. It is a
sport in which Seton Hall or Gonzaga
or Oral Roberts can compete with Mich-
igan or Tennessce or Notre Dame. It
is a game in which it is possible for last
year's cellar team to recruit two or three
hotshot junior college or high school
graduates in April and win the confer-
Cnce—maybe even the national—cham-
pionship the following March.

That ragsto-riches scenario will likely
be played out at a number of schools
this winter. Let's take a look at the teams
around the country,

The Eastern Eight Conference will be
so evenly balanced this season that any of
its teams—even Piusburgh, last year's cel-
lar dweller—could win the postseason
conference tournament. Villanova seems
to have a slight advantage, largely be-
cause 6'10” center Marty Caron and prize
freshman Alex Bradley will add muscle to
the rebounding, last season's only major
weakness, Bradley should become the best
inside player Villanova has had in years
and another recruit, Tom Sienkiewicz, is
expected to contribute deadly outside
shooting.

lis hoped that graduation has cured
the black-white dissensions that afflicted
the Massachusetts team last winter. This
year’s success will largely depend on (1)
whether Mike Pyatt finally decides to
work hard enough to achieve his con-
siderable potential and (2) the contribu-
tions of much heralded transfer (from
Indiana) Mark Haymore.

The graduation of superscorer Norm
Nixon would seem to be a crippling
blow to Duquesne, but the return from

injuries of guards Migucl Davila and
Baron Flenoty, plus the arrival of junior
college marksman Maurice Drinks,
should more than make up for Nixon's
loss. Five freshmen saw a lot of action

(continued on page 257)

me.no

| — NCO -@

By EUGENE RAUDSEPP with GEORGE P. HOUGH, JR. just how bound by rules are
you? these puzzles will test your capacity to break out of old patterns to find new solutions

BREAKING OUT
THE CLASSIC PUZZLE on this page is one
you may remember solving as a kid; it's
the prototype of all puzzles requiring
raw creativity—that is, the ability to dis-
cover new solutions by freeing yourself
of imaginary boundaries and restrictions.
In case you've forgotten, the test is:
Draw four straight lines through these
nine dots without retracing and without
lifting your pen from the paper.

The following puzzles demand the
same kind of “breakout” thinking and
were compiled by Princeton Creative Re-
search, Inc. Give them a try, then turn
to page 214 for the answers.

"THE COMPULSIVE SMOKER

We are frequently too hasty and im-
patient in solving problems and, as a
result, we overlook the obvious. This
problem illustrates how easy it is to

ILLUSTRATIONS BY RON RAE

overlook a simple element that some-
times is the key to the correct solution.

A heavy smoker wakes up in the middle
of the night and finds himself out of cig-
arettes. He gets dressed and rushes out,
but the strects arc deserted and all the
Stores, restaurants and bars are closed.
Arriving back in his apartment, he looks
through all the wastepaper baskets and
ashtrays for butts, figuring out that with

five butts he (continued on page 210) 177

ABOGTAUTA

ns,

"I wonder if you might break rhythm, m'lady,

we're just approaching a bridge."

178

ONE PALM SUNDAY, Cicero, who was the
pastor at San Marco ncar Perugia, gave
his customary denunciation of the seven
mortal sins, When he arrived at the sin
of lust, he paused, then said, “My broth-
ers, I am tormented with a great curios
ity. During Lent, when I confessed your
Wives, every woman swore that she had
been faithful to her husband. And yet,
on the other hand, almost every husband
in town confessed to having slept with
another man's wife. Now, I'd like to have
somcone come to confess the answer to
this miraculous paradox."
б

One day, а quack appeared in Venice
and put up his banner, on which there
was а picture of a huge phallus divided
by lines into four parts. A simple man,
ing at it, asked the meaning and the
quack replied, “Why, that’s my magic
cock. I put it in a woman up to the first
line and for one ducat I beget а mer-
chant, The second line and two ducats
make a soldier. The third, a nobleman.
The fourth—magic of magics!—a Pope.”

“It would be nice to have a soldier in
the family,” the Venetian said and, hand-
ng over two ducats, he took the mounte
nk home to his wife.

Just as the quack was sprea
wife out on the bed, the Venet
tended to leave the room but,
crattily slid under the bed.

Pumping away, the quack finally an-
nounced, "Now, here comes a captain!”

At that, the husband jumped up and

ave the quack’s ass a mighty shove.
“Tricked you!" he roared. “I just got a
Pope for half price!”

A friar came to comfort a man who

5 suffering through a long illness and,

n pre-
instead,

talian talos from the Facetiae of Poggio Braccioli

i, 1450

after many words of consolation, he said
to remember that God especially casti-
gates those whom He loves and tests their
faith with misfortunes.

Groaning, the sick man said, “Then
its hardly any wonder that He's got so
few friends, if this is the way He treats
them.’

Another priest, a man named Paolo,
traveled to the little town of Sescia to
give a sermon. In the course of it, he
congratulated the listeners on their good
fortune in living in a simple place where
morality was respected. That led him into
a denunciation of Naples and its sin.
Which reminded him, for instance, of the
newest and most deplorable vogue—Nea-
politans had got the notion of putting а
pillow under their wives buttocks be-
fore having scx. The preacher shook his
head angrily and the townspeople looked
at one another in amazement.

The next time the priest visited Sescia,
a friend came out to meet him and ex-
claimed, “Do you know what you've done
to us? Not a goose in town unplucked
and the price of pillows has gone sk;
hight”

And that reminds me of another ser-
mon—one delivered by a Spanish cardi-
nal to the Pope’s troops before they went
into battle in Ascoli Piceno. He absolved
the soldiers of all their sins and, growing
eloquent, he declared that every man who
died in that noble cause would be seated
at table in heaven and would dine with
God, Jesus and all the saints.

Having finished, the cardinal got on
his horse and prepared to ride away.

"How about you?” called a captain.
"Alter those brave words, aren't you

ILLUSTRATIONS BY BRAD HOLLAND

Ribald Classic

coming into battle with us?”

“Sorry,” said the cardinal, “but I'm not
hungry."

Venice is а city full of very clever
whores — perhaps partly because they have
such an international lot of customers.
One day, someone asked one of those
witty women which men, among all the
nations, had the biggest genitals.

"Oh," she said, "the Venetians have
the longest pricks in the world. That has
to be wue, because when the men are far
away on their trading voyages, their
pricks must stretch all the way back here.
How else would their ladies have so many
children while they're gone?"

Sebastiano, an elderly Florentine gen-
tleman, one day went to see a friend of
long standing and astonished him by say-
ing, “Benedetto, your son is killing me!

Benedetto was shocked. “But how?”

“He has fallen in love with my wife.

“And he's challenged you?” asked
Benedetto.

“No. But he comes with a flute player
and serenades her under the window
nearly every night.”

"Well," said Benedetto. “If that's
all... His singing isn’t great, but it's
hardly lethal.”

“It isn't the noise, my friend. It's just
the fact that it wakes my wife up and
makes her romantic. Then I have to calm
her with a stiff application in the trouble
spot. And, Benedetto, I'm not a young
man anymore. If this goes on, night after
night, I’m doomed.”

“Well,” said Benedetto. “And I always
thought the boy was something of a half-
wit! Just imagine!” ry)

—Reiold by Carlo Matteo

179

POET It's just a wonderful car.
True, we had a big advantage:
we started with a wonderful car
and made it even better.

Over a million people all over
the world have been impressed
enough fo buy them.

What's so impressive?
Easy. If you trade up to a
ЗД | Rabbit from a Mercedes
Benz 280E! believe it or not

you'll get better acceleration.

Ifyou trade up to aRabbit from
a Cadillac Seville, you'll get more
trunk space. And there are 32 cars
you can trade up to a Rabbit for
more people space.”

The Rabbit is so roomy, there
was even room for improvement.

The’78 Rabbits lookbetterthan

ever. Handsome metallic colors.

Touches of chrome here and there

to make them even snappier.
The biggest news of all

for '78 cant be seen. And

barely heard. Weve refined the DOES IT
Rabbits fuel-injected engine to

make it quieter and more efficient.
All in all, we are very proud.
Once we were famous for mak-
ing a car that looked ridiculous.
Now we make one that makes
the others look ridiculous.

AGAIN

ву Louw в RO о ©

THE ТИЛЕ MADE № MAN
INSURT е oF нас"

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COME ON, IRMA: A THE MARINES, YA ) AND 1 THOUGHT YA

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READ 50 MUCH ABOUT! 7”

NOw THAT YOU'VE GOT THAT

TERRIFIC soov, How ABOUT DROP-

PING THAT GOOFY CHICK AND COMING
BACK TO MY PLACE?

ONE MORNING
| WOKE UP AND SO I ROLLED
REALIZED OUR SEX М OVER AND SAID,
LIFE WAS IN A DULL, Ў "BURT, JOHN, JIM,
DRAB RUT! EVERY iy, à CALVIN, MORRIS,
DAY, THE SAME OLD SUZY AND SPOT,

THIS 15

GOODBYE!

183

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jum,

“My ‘Evenings that memories are made of
“a so oftent cli ide *DRAMBUIE.

7
t

Sx e pet ot m

“There was a murder in the shower room. A dude
called Peanuts went berserk and killed two blacks.”

~ I don't believe it, but once an idea
ke that gets fixed in the men's minds,
it’s almost impossible to dislodge it.

So: If you flush a toilet in the john,
it uses cold water and the showers run
very hot for a moment. Usually, you can
hear the toilet start to flush and step out
of the way in time; you become adept at
this. The men ited until Chester was
in the shower, alone, and then flushed a
single toilet. Chester heard it and ducked
out of the spray a moment. Then he
started back under. Nicely timed, at a
signal, they flushed every toilet in the
shithouse at the same time. Chester's
whole back was scalded and they took
him off to the hospital in Williamsport.

March 5: Y'm in the hole at Lewisburg,
the Wall. Incredible!

About a week ago, Fitz borrowed 550
from me. He had to make a buy and he
was broke. I didn't sce why not. I trusted
him. You can't be the runner and a rat at
the same time. Two nights ago, he asked.
me if I wanted a drink, I said sure, I
invited a few friends to share it with me
and around te gl
picked up a paper bag in his house con-
taining a Taster's Choice coffee jar with a
t of vodka in it. Sarkany, one of the
hacks, was waiting for me in the corridor-
He said, “What have you got there,
Irving?” He knew. Someone had ratted
on me. I asked where he would take me
and the other hack laughed and said, “To
jail, Irving." d

At 11 ra., they drove Fitz and me in a
van through the snowy darkness to the
Wall. We were strip-searched and sent to
individual cells on the fifth level of the
hole, The doors were steel with just a tiny
slot. bare bunk, no pillow or blanket.
1 was in semishock and I slept like a child,

In the morning, I looked out the
barred window and could see a pearl-
gray sky, fog, half of a pitted, unused con-
crete tennis court and some men in gray
sweat suits jogging through the slush like
ghosts. I could see a gun tower, too, in
the fog. Around noon, the hacks gave me
paper and envelopes, so 1 could write this.
It's cold out there. No birds sing. The cell
has a shitter, sink, bare bulb with a long.
15 are shoved in through the
y. You can talk to the men

PM, after showei

in the nearby cells, but you can't sce
their faces.
There's a black dude across the way

they call Crazy. Crazy's been in the hole,
he tells me, for eight months. What did
he do? “Don't remember,” he says
“Musta been somethin’ pretty good,
though.” He deftly passes me a pack of

cigarettes with a long wire that he tosses
four or five times across the corridor
until I can catch it, Now Pm in Crazys
debt, and so I can't tell him to shut up.
when he talks—ihat is, when he shouts
at the top of his lungs—all evening long,
until nearly midnight.

We're supposed to get a shower and an
hour's exercise twice а week here, but so
far I haven't had ci

4 either. One of the hacks
told me there was a murder in the shower
room last weck. Some dude called Pea-
nuts, who'd been in the hole for a few
months, went berserk and killed two
blacks and wounded two others—he'd
been carrying a shank under a towel. He'd
had a feud with one of the men he killed.
The hack, whose name is Heisman, asked
why he stabbed the three others, too. Pea-
nuts said, “Well, Mr. Heisman, they was
standing right ther

March 10: Гт in Danbury. Not the
town but the Federal correctional insti-
tution. I went before what's called a
forfeiture board hearing. They took
30 days of my accumulated “good time”
nd told me І was being transferred to
Danbury. Three days ago. three of us
were driving across barren, icy Pennsyl-
vania and part of New York State on a
cold, gray day. Arrived at Danbury in the
е afternoon: a prison as gray and grim
as the day. I hate it.

March 31: I seem to get on best with
the Italians. They can be usted. Н
so far, I'm most friendly with Pete Costa
and Tony M. There arc some pezzo
novante in residence, too—big guns, al-
legedly, in organized crime. One man
they call Charley the Blade: He carries a
wad of $100 bills in his pocket and his
friends serve him breakfast in bed. Char-
leys an old man and not well And
then there's Johnny Dio, who has а
freshly pressed shirt and trousers brought
to him every morning from the laundry.
room and browns his face in the midday
sun while holding court with Pete Costa
and Funzi and Gus on the benches out
side Hartford House (the dorms have won-
derfully pastoral names). Also John D,
who looks exactly like my grandfather and
is the same kind of warm, cordial man; he
plants flowers and bushes and tends them
lovingly in the little yard outside the
Control Center. Straight out of The
Godfather. He ran the garbage racket for

ly telephone call home and
it's assumed that one or two of the hacks
have been bribed. Tony M. brings me an
occasional ice cream from the commissa
where he woi
return. Tony's in his late 20s, а hit man

for the Gambino family—one of the best,
they say. He's here for income-tax eva
sion. He couldn't be a sweeter guy. W
toss a football around whenever we can
and jog together around the yard, two
miles a day.

May 12: A vote was taken a few weeks
ago and I was appointed a representative
of Providence House (my dorm) on the
Inmate Committee. We're supposed to
ir the complaints of the men, make
proposals, get feedback. Of course, the
administration doesn’t have to act on our
proposals and can tell us—in administra-
tive language, naturally—to go fuck our-
selves.

This year, the committee won the
right for each inmate to m monthly
telephone call, collect. That's a big gain.
Some men's families live too far away or
are too poor for regular visits and the
sound of a voice, while it may bring tcars,
isa living memory.

The committee has also forced the ad-
inisuation to conform to Bureau of
Prisons standards and bring the law li-
brary reasonably up to date—that's
important, too.

One subtle, unstated purpose of the
committee, from the administration's
point of view, is that it gives them a fairly
accurate pipeline into the population.
They know what we're thinking, what:
bugging us. Or at least they think they do.

“The institution does what suits them,”
Pete Costa says. “If you suggest something
and they act on it, that’s because it bene
fits them, not us. They liked the telephone-
call idea because they can listen in. They
record those calls оп tape. Didn't you
figure that one out?"

May 22: I realize now that the basic
function of prisons like Danbury is not
mercly to warehouse a man but to break
adultmale spirit—his machismo, if
you will—and reduce him to the psycho-
logical level of an obedient child. B:
techniques are: physical removal to
lated areas (Allenwood, Danbury, et al.),
which weakens or severs close emotional
ties to family апа friends. Segregation of
all natural leaders. Use of cooperative
prisoners as leaders, Use of informers.
Placing individuals in new and ambigu-
ous situations for which the standards are
kept deliberately unclear, and then put-
ting pressure on the men to conform and
blindly obey authority in order to win
favor and a reprieve from pressure and
the ambiguity. Rewarding submission and
subservience, Building a group convic
among the prisoners that they've
been abandoned by, and are almost total-
ly isolated from, the social order.

The parole system puts the icing on the
cake. You're told, essentially, “Be good
and you'll сат parole." So, to a certain
extent, you behave. But they're lying
to you.

So, having tried to convey the impres-
sion that you have behaved, you're still

187

PLAYBOY

188

ordered to “continue to expiration of sen-
tence.” Bring it all, schmuck. I went be-
fore the parole examiners 15 days ago and
today I heard the news: a six-month set-off
from the parole board to January 1974,
when they'll review my case once again. I
feel terribly depressed—and outraged. Pete
Costa says to me quietly, “Coraggio.
Pazienza.”

August 7: Today it happened: My
prick awoke from its long coma. I was
g a visit this weekend (ог next)
from Tim and Mary, whom Га last seen
Allenwood in December. But only
Mary arrived. The marriage is finished:
She and Tim have split up and he's
gone off to finish his new book and live
in the East Village with some other
woman. Mary said, "I couldn't disappoint
you. So T came alone by bus.”

The day was hot and she wore а loose,
tentlike red-cotton dress—no belt, по bra.
I could see her breasts shift and swing a
little beneath it when she moved. I could
see a woman, I think she saw in my cyes
what I was thinking and feeling, because
her lips started to flush deep pink, her
eyes took on a certain blue luster and I
could sce her nipples pop ош. 1 had
remarked before that her dress was like a

tent. Then she said, a little breathlessly,
h we had a real tent we could

I said, "I'd love to fuck you.”
c" she whispered.

She had smuggled in a corned-becf
sandwich on rye, a dill pickle and a cool,
fresh, fat red tomato. I ate them while
Mary kept an eye out for the hack. They
were delicious.

August 12: Туе written to my attorney
in Washington, Jim Sharp, and asked
him to make formal application to the
‘ole board for an emergency rehearing
as soon as possible, on the giounds that
my two small children are parentless,
under psychiatri nd one of them is
i; ed as being in an acute state of
n. Christ, he's only four years

I just won't sit back and let it happen.
I'll fight these cocksuckers any way I can.

August 20: Sol, а new man, told me his
a winner! He set two scien-
tists to work developing a laser beam to
stun horses so that he could bet a front
runner at the trotters. The other horses
would break stride when the beam hit
them and they'd have no more feeling
than that of a bee sting, wouldn't be hurt

at all. One of the scientists informed on
him and they got him on а conspiracy
p. The story sounded like a joke until
Sol showed me some confirming clips
from the Saratoga and Miami papers.

October 2: A letter from my attorney.
The parole board, under pressure, has
иней me an emergency rehearing next
month. Hallelujah! Now I have to follow
the fundamental tenet of life in the joint:
Hope for the best, expect the worst.

October 4: Today, after more than 13
months of dormitory living, I finally
reached the top of the list and was trans-
ferred to what's called а room—it's a
cell—in Мога House. It has а bed, a
shitter, a sink, an unbarred window be-
cause it looks out onto the yard, a locker
and a solid plank of wood that rests on
the radiator and serves as а rudimentary
desk. I don't think I could be happier if
I'd been given a key to a suite at the
Pierre Hotel facing Central Park. The
point is that I feel now that I live here at
Danbury and my room in Hartlor
House means I'm at the top of the socio-
economic py in terms of comfort
and privileges.

The awful point of this whole process
is that man can survive anything. He
can accept anything, He can learn to be
content, or at least exist without the need
to shout and rebel, in almost any circum-
stances. This accounts for the fact that
most people in this world, in j
out, lead lives of misery, deg
boredom, frustration and personal un-
happiness—job, marriage, family, social
obligations, the whole catastrophe—and
yet haven't got the energy or even the
urge to vault out of their personal prison
cells and head for the hills. Escape? To
where? We're all prisoners. Some know
it, most don't.

‘This is such a terrifying thought that
I don't want to pursue it any further.

November 29: 1 lic in bed, "t sleep,
n outraged, Mr. Lefebvre, my c
worker, called me into his office rhi
ng and told me that at a special
g of the board in D. Td bee
granted parole—for February Mth. "That's
two and а half months from now! If I'm
parolable, if my kids are in the deep shit
ind need a parent at their side, why not
now? Why wait? Well, I know why. Be-
cause of no reason at all. Because these
people are insane and there isn't a glim-
mer of humanity behind their decisioi

I'm going to keep fighting. I'm going
to file a writ demanding immediate parole
or else immediate release to а C-T.C.—
community treatment center, or halfway
house, it's сШей—іп Manhattan. I'v
checked the official bureau policy statc-
ments for standards of eligibility and 1 fit
them all perfectly. OF course, that’s re:
son enough to turn me down. Got to
member that there is no system, no logic,

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PLAYBOY

130 Riley in there with me

just chaos under wraps. Got to keep hope
ataminimum and, at the same time, fight.

December 13: Motherfucker, I'm in the
hole again! I can't believe

A few weeks ago, the administration
let out a rumor that there would be
Christmas furloughs for all men with

ninimum-sccurity status, Friday, the

announcement: two-day furloughs for
minimum-security men with less than
three months left to serve and по shots
inst them for the past 60 days. It was
quickly calculated that of the 600-odd
men, perhaps 25 qualified. The other
575 became enraged. They overreacted.
The men gathered in their various houses,
truly spontaneously, and said, “Fuck this
shit. No furloughs, no work.” Then some
bright guy said, "Get our fuckin’ Inmate
Commitee to tell ‘em what we want"

Cochairman Ron Riley and I nailed
Steve Grzgorck, the assistant warden, in
а corridor m Control. “If the men
don't get a better furlough policy," I said,
“I don't think they'll go to work on
Monday moi

“That would be a mistake," he said
grimly. "Refusing to work is a punishable
offense, Mr. Irving."

"Hey, Mr. Grzgorek, I'm not threaten-
ing anything. I'm just gi you my
opinion based on what I hear around the
campus. No more, no less."

Last Sunday, with no change in the
(uation, each house and cell block met
and voted to strike.

Monday morning was cold and over-
cast. The hacks ne around. “You men
going to work or not?" Everyone
shrugged. The hacks locked all our out-
side doors. Those big key rings really
jangle.

An hour later, the goon squad came
around, six hacks led by a lieutenant.
Work or off to the hole. They were seri-
ous and we could tell it. We looked out
the windows and saw a dozen men from
Maine House being marched off, then
about the same number from Boston.
They got to us in Hartford and the lieu-
tenant reached the door of my cell.
Irving, you've got some influence
around here. You're chairman of the
Inmate Committee. Now, don't be a fool,
don’t jeopardize your parole. Are you
going to work or not?”

"Not," I said. I wasn't going to make
a speech.
He had two of the hacks march me out

of the dorm. To get to the hole, I had to
pass Providence. I'd lived in Providence
and had friends there. They saw me being
hauled off—"That dude just got paroled.
man, and he's goin! Right on'"—aánd
they began to cheer and stomp. I thought,
Thanks, you dumb fucks, that's just what
I need,

I should have figured it out when they
put me in a cell in the hole all by myself
and then, ten minutes later, marched
nd then two

other members of the Inmate Committee.
"Ehe hole began to fill up. The cells were
meant for two men at the most; even
two's а crowd. They were shoving four
and five in each cell. There were three
tiers of 12 cells each. It was a scene from
an old George Raft- James Cagney movie.
I'd thought that was all Hollywood, but
now I realized they must have had some
good technical advisors. Men stripped the
metal mirrors off the walls, then the taps
from the sinks; they began to rattle them
on the bars, back and forth. Then they
began tearing up the pillows in the cells
and tossing the loads of feathers out into
the corridors, over the catwalks, so that
they floated down like snow. The snow-
storm lasted an hour. They gave us
tomato soup for lunch and the men
threw that out of their cells, too, so that
the floor looked as if chickens had been
slaughtered there. And they screamed
nd sneezed and shouted abuse at the
s and kept

fuckin’ counterproductive?” Riley asked
me, and I said, “Oh, yes.

"Hey, you guys,” he yelled. "Knock it
өй! We ain't animals! They ain't gonna
respect us, ain't gonnit give us what we
want if we act like fuckin" lunatics!”

The men quieted down for a few min-
utes, and then the lieutenant came in and
passed the lower tier, stopping at each
cell to ask which men wanted to stay in
the hole and get a shot and go before the
Adjustment Committee, a kangaroo court,
and which men wanted to go quietly back
to work, with no reprisals and no black
marks on their records. Some dudes on the
top tier had a brilliant idea. Spare lockers
were stored up there on the catwalk.
‘They could reach out and shove the lock-
ers over the catwalk and maybe kill a
lieutenant and а few hacks. Those big
green lockers flew by our eyes, thunder-
ing off the concrete floor, and it sounded
like Hanoi under a B-52 raid. The lockers
bounced, boomed and caromed in all
directions, metal smashing and clanging
against metal The licutenant ran 0
safety and shouted shrilly, "Who did
that?" He was scared, rightly so. And

someone on the second tier yelled, “Fuck
you, faggot!” And then someone else

tuck the warden!” and that soon
Y

By evening, the administration had
won the battle.

I didn't sleep well. About four р.м
next day, the lieutenant came by again
and, before 1 could say anything, handed
me a piece of flimsy paper, a carbon copy
of an incident report: an accusation
shot. It was filed by a hack named James
Sherwood. Sherwood says he was standing
outside our cell yesterday afternoon and
last night and heard Riley and me chant-
p. "Kill the warden
cited the other men to chant. He also
heard Riley confess that he was the active

yelled, "

changed to "Kill the ward

the

Jeader of the uprising and heard him
say to me, “You're the brains behind this
riot, Irving, you have to control it.” The
lieutenant passed a copy of the same shot
to Riley and looked at me with a slight
lift of the eyeb

I said quietly, “Lieutenant, this man
isn't telling the truth. He hasn't got the
brains to make it up, so someone told
him to do it.

He didn't smile, he just walked ама;

December 14: This morning, they took
Riley away to a separate cell, Riley had
somehow arranged a noon meeting with
g professor from Yale Law S
and just belore they took him away, I
scribbled a note. It had the telephone
number of Maury Nessen, my lawyer in

"ws.

New Yor “Ask the man to call
Maury and tell him whars happening.
Tell him Im being framed." А bad

movie again, but it's а fact. Riley gave me
back the paper and said he could remem-
ber the number and the message. Oh,
Jesus.

Five р.м.—1 was taken out of my cell
and led up to a sealed bare room. Maury
as waiting for me. He looked around
him with big суез. Very few lawyers ever
see a prison and fewer get to see the hole.
worried. “What the hell
have you done now?”

I told him the story.

“TI go talk to them,” he said, relieved.
"I've already spoken to this man Steve
Grzgorek. He's friendly. And he scems like
a reasonable man."

“Maury, listen to те. You can't talk to
them. You're a great lawyer, but you
don't know what you're up against now
I was pleading with him and 1 broke out
in a sweat. "These people aren't like you
and me," I said. “They're more fucked up
than any of the inmates in here. They
may seem reasonable and friendly, but
they're evil." I waved Sherwood's pink
sheet at him. "Here's the proof.”

“But Grgorel

“They'll all lie to you, Maury. They've
got to dot to protect their ass. I beg you.
believe me. They'll all lie to you. They'll
tell you theyre going to follow rcason-
able, just and ordained procedures laid
down by the Department of Justice and
the Federal Bureau of Prisons, and it will
all sound right and fair to you, but they'll
be lying. It will be a kangaroo court and
they'll convict me on this аск word—
they've got to take his word over mine—
and they'll have me in Atlanta or Leaven-
worth before you even know about it.
They'll move fast. And they can indict
me for this. Will you come down to
Atlanta to defend me, Maury?"

“What should I do?” he asked slowly.
hreaten them. Tell them you know
I'm being framed. Don't be lawyerly.
Don't try to be a nice guy—it won't get
you anywhere. Threaten them. Stomp
around, shout; they can't touch you. Tell
them that if they don't submit me and

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PLAYBOY

192

this hack Sherwood to a lie-detector test
immediately—and the lieutenant, and
Grgorck and the captain, too, because I
know someone put the hack up to it—
you're going to the courts and the news-
papers tomorrow morning. Publicity's
poison to them, and an inquiry means
they could lose their jobs. All of them,
Maury—iell them you'll insist they all
take а polygraph. They'll shit. Say you
can get a court order-

“But I'm not sure the court ^

“Тһеуте not sure, either. Maury,
please. 1 know these people. You don't.
‘Threaten them and yell. Pick up a phone
in the warden's office and call the Dan-
bury paper and then the Times."

He thought awhile. Then the hack
appeared to say that time was up. “All
right,” Maury said quiet

December 15: Yesterday evening, alter
I wrote that last paragraph, they came
for mc and took mc out to a room ncar
Control. They had called a special meet-
ing of the Adjustment Committee. The
air was smoky and the ashtrays were full;
they'd been in there awhile before I ar-
rived. Their expressions were stony and 1
thought that was a good sign—if they had
been smiling, 1 would have thought, lm.
dead. The sion
of the ev
ing to keep to the
Are you saying the Inmate Commit-
tec—in particular, you and Riley—had

-AV

no leadership role in this work stoppage?”

“None,” I said. “The committee was a
conduit for information. We told the
what we believed the men were
going to do.”

He handed me Sherwood’s incident
report. “What about this, Mr. Irving?

I had debated with mysclf about that
for a long time and 1 had an answer
carefully prepared. I said, "It's inaccurate.
There was a lot of noise. Mr. Sherwood
may have misheard. I prefer to th
that's what happened.’

“Go outside. We'll call you,” the cap-
tain said.

T went out for 15 minutes and then the
d caseworker called me in. He ex-
plained that a careful study of. Mr. Sher-
wood's incident report had revealed to
the committee that Mr. Sherwood was
not actually accusing me of anything but
only quoting inmate Riley's statements
relevant to my alleged Icadership of the
strike, and the Adjustment Committee was
not prepared to prosecute one inmate be-
cause of statements made about his acti
ties by another inmate. I was acquitted.
No punishment.

“What about Riley?"
the captain said.

And now Fm sitting on my bed in
Hartlord House, in my little cell, and it's
midnight. The men could hardly believe
that 1 was freed. A few of them. І thi
are wondering if 1 ratted on Riley, but I

* Where I was brought up, John, gentlemen never
put used condoms in the ashtray.”

spoke with Riley before Y left and he'll
get the word out that it’s not true.

“You one lucky motherfucker,” Shorty
Bigshoes said to me.

Amen.

I also heard I was turned down for
transfer to the halfway house, but I'm go-
ing to file a writ with the Federal court
ig the decision.

Year's Day, 1971: Funzi and Gus
g today on a bench in front of Hart-

ford House in the cold winter sunlight,
g about the good old days with
New York-

reminis
the Mob i “the night Fast
Eddie got icatessen on
ncey Street, remember, Gus?" And
tting there, quietly, hardly daring to
ask a question, listening openmouthed
and big-eyed like a little kid. The Mob!
It exists! I know them.

January 4: Someone shook me awake
this morning at 7:45 and said I was мап
cd on the double in the caseworker's
office. Mr. Lefebvre was waiting for me.
He said, without a trace of expression,
"You've applied for admission to the
halfway house in Manhattan, Mr.
living. The Bureau of Prisons has re-
versed its negative decision and author-
ized your transfe

I think I asked him, "When?" and he
said, "Today. Now. Get your things to-
gether,

I'm sitting now at the bus station in
downtown Danbury. I've called Maury
in New York to tell him and to ask him
to cable Spain and get my kids over here.
He couldn't believe it at first—I. think
for a minutc hc thought I'd escaped. "I
won, Maury," I yelled into the bus-station
лу phone, so that a lot of heads turned.

won forty-one days of freedom. You
don't know what that means. ГИ meet
you at P. J. Clarke's for lunch. Bring
money.”

‘The sun is almost blinding, blazing off
the snow. I walk around, waiting for the
bus, taking deep breaths of the cold air.

Now I'm on the bus. Last етту in this
journal. The bare trees, the high the
cars with patches of snow on their roofs,
the world rushing by look like a Cinema-
Scope movie. I feel like I'm in that movie,
clutching my cartons and my release
papers, dressed like a goon. I'm going to
check into the halfway house. They give
you the first weekend off, I know that.
I'm going to have a beer and a medium-
rare cheeseburger at P. J's. Then Im
going for a long walk, alone, through the
snow in Central Park. Then maybe down
Fifth Avenue.

Tonight I'm taking Mary to Broadway
Joe's Steak House, on 46th Street for
oysters, a bottle of burgundy, a baked
potato, a rare sirloin steak and cheese-
cake. I'm going to ask her to wear her
red-couon dress without а bra, and after
g to find a tent some-
where and crawl under it with her.

CHAIRMAN BILLY

(continued from page 128)
Billy undoubtedly makes a point of
avoiding anything resembling a lofty
pronouncement. After I got to
know him better, though, he confided,
“You're the first one I've ever told this.
Why I left the city council. I ran in the
first place to change the vote against me
getting a beer license, I won and got
the license and then I told everybody I
was going to run again. So nobody else
qualified against this black man. He was
running for my post and everybody
figured I'd beat him. Then, when it was
too late for anybody else to qualify, I
withdrew and he got on. It was a flim-
flam deal. I figured it was time the blacks
got some representation."
Now, you could say that Billy was mak-
ing a calculated effort to sell me a Billy
Carter who is at once nationally un

But I'm inclined to believe tl
about what he is T am also inclined to
believe that however rotten а mayoral
candidate he is, Billy commands a politi-
cal and imagistic deftness comparable
to—of course, less ambitious th. in
some sense maybe purer than—his
brother’s. Of course, he might have
wanted a black to get on the council just
to get under people's skin. 1 asked Billy
why he said he would campaign for
George Wallace.

“George Wallace broke the seal,” he
said, meaning that Wallace һай proved,
before Jimmy Carter, that а Southern
Presidential са e could command
electoral respect.

"But to а lot of people, Wallace rep-
resents white racism said.

“George Wallace is not a racist,” Billy
said. "Hc stands for the common man.
He stands for the common man a hell of
a lot more than Jimmy Carter or anybody

Phe common man black or white?”
ah," Billy said. “Thars шу
opinion.

"How do you feel about capital pun-
ishmen

“I think everybody who deserves it
ought to get it

Billy's least felicitous public remark to.
date was, “I hate to say this, but we've all
left a nigger in the woodpile some-
where.” That is what he said at a press
conference in Oakland when black poli-
tician Carter Gilmore asked him whether
they were related. Nobody white has a
call to be flippant about the ways in
which black people got white names. But
then it was not too tasteful a
question. Gilmore had been straining 10
capitalize on his first name (he was run-
ning for the Oakland city council on the
slogan “Let's elect another Carter") and
he and Billy had been kidding each other
freely on the topic of their ancestry

| Inaworldfull — .
E № etic everything,
kept 2: =

we've
b natural |

JUSTERINI & BROOK’

193

>
e
m
>
=
a
а

"Im at the scene of the crime, Chief, and I've stumbled across
the beautiful, nude body of a mysterious, unidentified woman."

before the press conference, I would say
Billys remark was more satirical, cutting
both ways, than bigoted. And Billy never.
d nigger, or anything like it, when I
was there, though several people did who
were good-old-boying around with him.
The question of women's rights seems
to rub Billy wrong. He gives female re-
porters an even harder time than he gives
male ones, and with less humor: “You'd
make a fine cook, ma'am, but I don't
know about a reporter." He opposes the

Equal Rights Amendment; “Гуе got a

brother that’s in favor of it, a sister-in-law
that’s behind it and four daughters that I
don't want drafted." I'd have to guess
that Billy resists competitive women be-
cause women in more or less old-fash-
ioned supportive roles are so important
to him. Sybil says she married him when
she was only 16 because his father had
died and he seemed to need somebody to
take care of him. When he says some-
thing about himself, he often adds, “You
can ask my mother.”

But he gives Sybil credit for the way
she keeps the books at the office, seems
to see her as a partner as surely as Jimmy
does Rosalynn and, by all accounts, is as
true to her as he claims to be. And he
enjoys pretty much the same give-and-
ake with her and h their daughter
as he does with his friends who are men.
“How's that boyfriend of yours?” he
asked Kim one alternoon.

“He's fine,” she answered. “But he says
if you don't stop calling him maggot. . . .”

“I called over to the station the other
afternoon and asked if there were any
tourists,” Billy was saying in the ware-
house. "They said, ‘Naw, come on, it's
just a beer hall I got over there and two
tour buses stopped and a couple of hun-
dred old ladies got off. Now, there's
nothing in the world you can do with a
75-year-old woman but be nice to her... .

“Course, if itd been a busload of
twenty-year-old girls, it'd been different.”

“TH say this," said Sybil, "and ГИ say
it in front of him,” meaning me, “if it
was а twenty-year-old girl, you wouldn't
know what to do with her.”

Here is how a discussion of the E.R.A.
went in the office one afternoon:

“І can't see it," said Rand:
want to bave just one bathroom.

“There are good things about it,
though," said Sybil. "A woman ought to
be able to make the same money as a
man. A woman ought to be able to bor-
row money."

“Yeah, but. .
same bathroom.”

“I don't,” said Sybil.

“She does want to, too,” said Billy,
“with Randy
thing for sure, nobody would
want to be in the same bathroom with
ndy told Billy.
explained Sybil.
said Billy, “that my

“They

They want to be in the

shit don't stink.’

WHAT IS THE

‘To BILLY'S APP.
He is unsentimental about people but
appreciates them. I asked him
whether he was as moved as ] was when
all those variegated Democrats stood
with a white and a black Southerner and
sang We Shall Overcome after Jimmy's
acceptance. “I Лей just before that
part,” he said. “Daddy King—he and I
are friends. But when he starts preach-
ing, you have to ring the bell on him.
Then, when you ring it, he preaches
harder.

Another time, Billy started tall
about Miss Julia Coleman, the Plains
schoolteacher Jimmy inyokes so reverent-
ly and quoted in his inaugural address.
"She pulled me through school,” Billy
said. “I'd say, "Miss Julia, you know I
can't take this D or this Е home.” She'd
say, "Well how about a C? I'd say,
‘Naw, you know my parents I need a
B-plus or an A." She'd say she couldn't do
that. I'd say, ‘Please, Miss Julia, just this
one time."

"She would write every week to every
former student of hers who was in the
Service. When I was in the Far East, Га
get a letter two inches thick, handwritten,
with three or four lines on a page. Be-
cause she was so nearsighted. I could have
gotten another boy to sit in my chair and
she wouldn't have known the difference.

“You know, when she had her funeral
in Plains, I went. Only twenty-five people
came to her funeral.”

Y
AL?

DOFS BILLY HAVE A SERIOUS SIDE?

1f pissed off counts, he does. Billy has
had altercations with at least two mem-
bers of the national press who pushed
him too far. One accused him directly of
lying and the other scurried around, with
what struck Billy as ghoulish alacrity,
taking pictures of his station when it was
оп fire,

Years back, at a
game in Unadilla, Georgia, Billy took on
a man who he claims was 6'7”, "Y jumped
on his back and started biting him and he
fell backward over on top of me. Then
Sybil come up and hit him on the head
with her high heel.”

“Well, he was scrubbing your brand-
new blazer on that concrete floor.

“When I got up, І spit out skin, back-
bone, T-shirt and shirt. Later, people
came around saying, "Did you hear а
man died in Unadilla of a human bite?’
It scared me for a while.”

Another time, he was in Atlanta with.
Tommy B. and another friend and was
iving а drink in the hotel bar, waiting
for them to come down. They came in
and took a table. Billy paid his bill at
the bar and headed toward them, but the
bouncer stopped him.

"He said those two men said І was
queer and had been bothering them, fol-
lowing them around all night. Said he
wasn't going to let me join them.

igh school basketball

“I said, ‘The hell you aren't; and he
got another man and they threw me out.
So Y went drinking somewhere else and
when I got back to the hotel room, Tom-
my was sitting there, laughing, and I hit
him, and he'd of gone thirteen stories if
he hadn't fallen out of the chair before
it got to the window.’

Billy can go at it verbally, too. “We
were at this party and one man started
saying he wished he hadn't contributed
five dollars to Jimmy's camp:
it was going. There's always one

the way
ike that

in each crowd. Finally, Y said, ‘Here’s
your five dollars, we don't want it,’ and
started in on him. Within two minutes,
I had his wife crying, and

п one more
minute, I had him shut up. I'm а pro-
fessional dozens player.”
Aside from that, I can’t say for sure
about Billy’s serious side, But he prob-
ably has a serious layer. Somebody at one
engagement asked him why he didn't go
to church. He said, "Well, maybe ГИ
talk about it later. It gets kind of deep.”

DID BILLY EVER OWN A MONKEY?

I'm glad you asked that question. One
time, he and his son Buddy went into
Americus for groceries and Buddy saw a
spider monkey in a pet store that he
couldn't do without. He begged and
pleaded. So they came home with the
monkey and named him Tommy B., be-
cause his cars stuck out like Tommy B.'s,
and the monkey would get on their pet
rabbit’s back and ride him around. The
only way the rabbit could get the mon-
key off was by running under the bed and
bumping him off.

Then, just before Christmas, the mon-
key got up onto the tree and started
throwing all the ornaments off. Billy
grabbed him and the monkey bit his hand
down to the bone and held on. Billy was
yelling and waving him around, trying
to throw him up against the wall, and the
children were yelling, "Don't kill Tom-
my B.! Don't kill Tommy B. he had
to hold still "and we prized that monkey
says. "We gave
man who sprayed the house.”

“The next time I saw that monkey,”
Billy says wistfully, “he was in the sheriff's
office, riding on the back of a dog.”

Jeane Dixon, the seeress, recently pre-
dicted that “Billy Carter will become a
popular television personality, much to
the dismay of the White House. He will
become the Martha Mitchell of the Car-
ter Administration, but he will always
know what he is saying and where he is
headed. In time, his talents will be rec
ognized and his wisdom better appre-
ciated.” I don't usually set much stock
by Mrs. Dixon's sooth, but ГЇЇ tell you
one thing: If any Secret Servicemen ever
пу to stick a needle in Billy's ass, I will
join the revolution that should ensue.

195

PLAYBOY

196

МІСЕ GUYS aron nes

“Tf just once he would punch Cosell in the mouth,
40,000,000 Americans would stand up and cheer.”

hope for.” Exley wrote. “He became un
avoidable, a part of the city’s hard men-
tality. . . . No doubt he came to represent
to me the realization of life's promises.

A few months before, Gifford had ap-
peared on the television panel show
What's My Line? He had signed in as Е.
Newton Gifford and of four
only Arlene Francis could identify him.
The day after that broadcast, Gifford re-
ceived phone calls from Warner Bros.
and 20th Century-Fox. He did a person-
test for in New
York along with three other aspiring ac-
tors. One of them was a former college
football player named Burt Reynolds.

Before his tes, Reynolds was asked
what kind of make-up he preferred. Не
knew nothing about make-up but wanted.
10 appear profesional He pointed at
Gifford and said, "I want whatever he's
wearing.”

“But he's not wea
up man said.
iflord signed а seven-year contract
with Warners’ for $350 per week during
the off season. He began studying acting
h Wynn Handman, who now runs the
American Place Theater їп New York,
and, in Los Angeles, with Jeff Corcy, an
actor forced into teaching when his name
showed up on the McCarthy-era black
list. Gifford appeared in a film called
Darbys Rangers, but Warner Bros. was
heavily invelved in television at the time,
producing Maverick, Sugarfoot and 77
Sunset Strip: plans were to build a
series around Gilford.

Gifford consented to give up football
if a series of his was picked up. After
the 1958 season, in which the Giants
lost the title game in overtime to the
Colts, he starred i pilot called Public
Enemy. It was loosely based on the James
Cagney film White Heat, and Gifford
played a cop who wied to penetrate the
underworld. "It was a real dog,” he says,
and the networks concurred.

Frusüared by being turned down,
Gifford decided to pursue his other sup-

ny," the make-

pressed desire, He wrote a letter to Giant.
coach Jim Lee Howell asking for an
“Did

opportunity to play quarterback
you ever look at my p p statistic:
he now asks defensively. “Off the optior
1 completed something like 66 percent
of my passes and one out of every three
completions went for a touchdown, Of all
the stats, no one ever mentions that one.
And play calling was not new to me.
Even at halfback, I called about half
of the Giants’ plays.

“I felt then, and I still feel. that the
quarterback has to be the best athlete
out there. You don't want someone who
is stuck when the receivers are. covered.
You want someone who can make an un-
successful play into а succesful play.
More and more teams today are looking
for this.

At the time, the move by Gifford
seemed presumptuous, since Charlie Con-
nerly, the Giants’ quarterback, was Gif-
ford’s roommate and best friend. Gifford
visited Connerlys offsezson home in
Mississippi and announced his plan ove

fishing rods. “One of the great things
about Connerly,” Gifford says, “is that

ego never gets in the way. He just takes
everything nice and easy. So he told me
to go ahead and try.”

Although he now feels that the Giants
may have been humoring him, Gifford
did play quarterback a few times during
the 1959 preseason and started the last

i Detroit. “On the last.
“I threw a
t bounced off Alex Webster's
hands. In the locker room, Jim Lee
sked me to play halfback when we went
k out. I had a good half, caught six
or seven. passes. I should have dropped а
few. I was the victim of my own ability
to run and catch the ball. J never played

Following that
shot another television. pilot.

1959 scason, Giflord
That one
was called Turnpike and was based on
the files of the New Jersey Turnpike
police. Public Enemy Еау, Gifford calls it.
Connerly and Webster and “a few bud-

dies I picked up at P, J. Clukes" ap-
peared їп the show. As the Giants
prepared to go to training camp that
July, Warners’ said there was а good

chance the series would be picked up
and asked Gifford not ro sign to play
football. "But I felt they were humoring
me, too," he says. "There were по as-
surances. I think they just wanted to
get rid of me.” So Gifford signed to re-
turn to the Giants and Warner Bros. sus-
pended him from his contract:

‘That season, Gifford suffered his con-
cussion and had to retire. But Warner
Bros. was no longer interested. "I always
wonder,” he says, “if I was in a series like
Maverick or 77 Sunset Strip instead of
those two bowwows, if my whole life
would have worked out differently.”

The camera whirs and the portly young
director calls through his black beard for
action. Sightseers stop in their tracks for
a glance at Gifford walking on the lawn,

bobbing his shoulders as if he were faking
ош а cornerback.

“Hold it,” he says suddenly. And every-

thing stops but the chatty birds. Gifford
points to a cloud that has gotten in the
way of the sun, changing the lighting i
midscene.
He retraces his steps. “Look at him,”
ys a crew member, “Нез walking back-
ward so that he ends up right on his mark.
The guy's a pro."

Throughout a morning of more than
30 monotonous takes, Gifford remains
steadfastly patient and professional. He
insists that the make-up man send for
so that the wind does not
ir. He discusses the camera
nd the sound equipment with the tech-
nicians. He continually checks the run-
ning time with the assistant director to
make sure he is not running over. He
s this side line as seriously as he
teats his play-by-play announci

When the aew breaks for lunch,
ford changes quickly back into his jeans
and polka dots, fills his plate with salad
nd lies down under a maple tree. А
caterpillar crawls up his shirt sleeve. He
gently lifts it and places it on his plate.
“Hey, little fella,” he says,
lettuce.

I suggest that if just once he would
punch Cosell in the mouth or at least
tell him to shut пр. 40,000,000 Americans
would stand up in their living rooms
and cheer. He laughs knowingly. “IE
you get hissing fight with a skunk,
you get hissed on," he say
great position, because I can ignore what-
ever’s said to me. I'm so busy listening
to the director that sometimes I don't
even hear the other two chatting. It may
seem like I'm cutting Howard oll at
times, and we've discussed this, but I'm
just getting back to the game.

"My job is to orchestrate the thi
commentators. It can come off as very
strained and if it does, the audience will

be very uncomfortable. Why should I
lower myself and get into
ih

hissing fight
1 would make everyone uncomfort-
ple? And, besides, I'd rather work with
Howard than anyone in television. He's
prepared and intelligent and he has a
great sense of humor.

Despite those c
if there is tension о
two commentators. “Howard's on а com-
pletely different trip than 1 am,” Gifford
says. "Don Meredith and I have dis-
cussed it a lot. We've both had adulation
and recognition since we were teenagers
and we've learned how little it means.
But it’s very difficult for someone who
has always wanted to be a star and has to

it until he's 51 years old. Howard's
trying to grab it all while it’s there. 1
think he’s handled the situation well.

“The show has made us all more im-
portant than we have a right to be.
Howard's probably the biggest star in
sports next to Muhammad Ali. He's no

, it often seems as
the air between the

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PLAYBOY

fun to travel with, because people won't
leave him alone.

"He's done something right. He has
amazing retention. He's full of informa-
tion, both important and wivial. Where
he gets it all, І don't know. I've never
seen him rcad for any period of time.
And he’s never taken a vacation that I
know of. His whole life is his work.”

Cosell is generally critical of exathletes
who dare enter his field. “They have
brought to the game a redun gon
that the public has accepted as mystic
insight" he once told Bud Shrake of
Sports Illustrated. But he amends his
bclicf for С

“My position on

ilford is perfectly
clear." Cosell says. "I don't think he
deserved the opportunity when he orig.
inally got it. But of all the jocks, two
have become profesional announcers—
Frank Gifford and Pat Summerall.

“I regard Gilford today as one of my
closest friends in life. He has been since
he signed with the Giants and came to a
party at my house at which my daughter
Hillary sat on his lap and did tinkle all
over hi And all he asked for was
another napkin.

“I just got him a delightful assign-
ment to spend four days at Ascot. No one
will look better in a top hat and tails.

Gifford started doing a pregame radio

show for the Giants following the glorious
1956 season. His broadcasting break came
when all the New York newspapers went
on strike in 1962. CBS expanded its
nightly local news and Norm Walt, the
d Gifford to
ended.
“How long will that be?” Gifford asked.
“Oh, a week, ten days,” Walt said.
The strike lasted for six months and
Gifford lasted at CBS for cight years.
When he retired from football, he also
began doing color commentary on the
network's М.Е... broadcasts. But he never
penetrated the CBS dique.

“I was sitting at home,” he says, "watch-
ing other people cover the 1970 N.F.L.
play-offs. Roone Arledge is an old friend
and golfing buddy and he was there, too.
He said to me, "Why aren't you working:
I couldn't figure out why I wasn't"

The next year, Gilford accepted Ar-
ledge’s olfer to move to ABC, where he
would do the play-by-play on Monday
Night Football, as well as cover a mélange
of other sporting events, something he
had not been asked to do at CBS.
He now appears to be at the center of the
network's clique and, in fact, was instru-
mental in convincing Meredith to leave
NBC and return to Monday Night Foot-
ball (replacing Karras) this season. “I'm
very comfortable at ABC,” Gilford says,
“but it's not because I'm part of any
dique. A clique forms at а network when
commentators have to jockey and politic
for assignments. But at ABC, there are

198 enough events so that all the top an-

nouncers get their share of important
assignments. We don't have to sneak
around, trying to cut each other out of
things. I just could never get into that
kind of politicking and maybe that’s why

I was left out at CBS,

‘Throughout his television career, Gif-
ford has been plagued by the
th

iticism
t he avoids controversy and has few
ions. “Tell me what is controversial
about a football game.” he says. “I think
most announcers treat the game much too
seriously, like it's the Second Coming. I
find this both amusing and sad. I don’t
e what the trappings are, irs still a
game. Granted. it could cause problems
for some people like it did for Duane
Thomas. But it’s still just a bunch of
guys playing.

“I probably study this game harder
than anyone in my profession, but as well
as I know it, the complexities are such
that I usually can’t tell precisely who is
responsible for a mistake on the field.
H 1 singled out Cliff Harris, for example,
and told 40,000,000 people that he was
responsible for a mistake. that would be a
terribly irresponsible thing for me to say
unless 1 were positive. Unless you are in
that huddle, you can't always be sure. If
anything, my knowledge of football in-
hibits me from bulishitting and maki
mbling guesses that could really
hurt a player.

“I'm there to report the game, not to
embellish it. The fa n't always
get up there and unload my personal
expertise is not that damned ant
to me. To brush my little ego, I'm not
going to interrupt the flow of the telecast.
T've been around enough people who are
aving assholes because of their egos and
they've botched up the lives of a lot of
people to help themselves. Thars why I
suppress my ego. I don't feel a need to
cultivate ii

"I have strong convictions and incredi-
ble respect for the power of television.
When I'm doing a game, I detach myself
from my political and philosophical feel-
ings. I do it not because Гт afraid it
will hurt my career but out of respect.
Irs а terrifying medium, as a former
President will tell you. Once you put
something out there, you can't take it
back."

A 1957 profile of Gifford reported th
he was undecided about whether he
should build houses, act, write journalism,
write a novel or become a broadcaster
after he quit football, He eventually
pursued the carcer that offered the small-
est risk, something he doesn't deny. Al-
though he was never paid more than
30,000 by the Giants (“55000 more than
I ever asked for"), he had become accus-
tomed to а comfortable lifestyle that he
was not willing to forgo. And he had the
burdens of sending two sons and a
aghter to college (his second son, Kyle,
named after teammate Kyle Rote, recent-

ly graduated) and of a wife suffering from
multiple sclerosis. But a relationship he
developed with Bobby Kennedy shortly
before the Senator was assassinated influ-
enced Gifford to take a risk and run for
political office.

“I realized I'd been so preoccupied
with myself that I never thought of all
the other folks,” he says. “I really admired
someone who was that big and had so
much to lose and still felt so deeply about
helping other people. He convinced me
that the most rewarding thing any of us
can do is to help someone else.

"When he was killed, I rode that train
ington to New York and saw
great loss in the faces of the people lining
the route. Those faces switched my whole
way of thinking.

Gifford remains close to Ethel Kennedy
and her family, but he is a registered
Republican. He thinks he is moderate
enough to run for either party. He was
recently approached to seek the nomina-
tion for governor of California. “But I
could not run right now and afford it
myself he says. "Maybe in a few years
I will not have to depend on anyone else.

“It's a shame that money is so vital to
being elected. If it were not so important,
the middle class could rcg; voice and
its enthusiasm, we could progress much
further in civil rights and women's rights
would be assured without any more of
this ridiculous, prolonged discussion.

“My time is still down the road a bit.
But I think it will eventually come."

Gifford puts on his suit and gocs back
to film. And 1 realize he has converted

me from cynic to admirer in an afternoon.
That Frank Gifford image that is some-
times so hard to swallow is not something

he has frantically and calculatedly culi
vated. He is simply a nice guy, at case
п himself, trying to be nothing more
than he is.

"The director has enough film to work
with and the crew begins to pack up.
“Just а minute; we have one more thing
to do.” the director says.

A few days earlier, the same crew shot
another Palm Beach commercial in Cen-
tral Park. Throughout the filming, Gif-
ford persisted in pronouncing the name
Dacron with a short A instead of a
long A.

So, surrounded by an appreciative crew
and doting sightseers, Frank Gifford
stands in the center of the manicured
lawn, backed by the august manse
and the Edenlike gardens, looking as cle-
gant as any visitor to this scene could
ever have looked.

And, with an embarrased grin, he

recite
“Day-cron.

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PLAYBOY

200

SEX IN CINEMA (uit pom page 156)

“Bond, of course, is in bed with a beautiful blonde.
‘Tell him to pullout of there immediately, M says.”

film—a sequence that includes a rape
and the sadistic bludgeoning to death of
a Russian soldierette, as well as the cas-
tration of a German soldier by a team of
outraged female Bolsheviki—the action
was not a good deal more explicit than

the R-rated release prints would indicate.
But if total nudity and frank intima-
s of sex are fast disappearing from

our films, explicit language is not. When
last year's All the President's Men was
granted a PG rating, ће М.Р.А.А.
thought it had made it clear that Dustin
Hoffman's repeated use of the word
fuck, with numcrous variations thereon,
was not to be considered precedential
(just as Clark Gable's “Frankly, my dear,
1 don't give а damn” was supposed to be
nonprecedentia] in an earlier, more in-
nocent time). lt didn't happen that way.
This year, films as varied as Woody
Allen's The Front and Joseph E. Levine's
costly spectacular Я Bridge Too Far
broke the M. A's sound barrier and
won. True, Paul Newman had a fi

warm bed scene in Slap Shot, which also
featured two bustoads of hockey players
and their female fans mooning out
the windows of their vehicles; but the
film's real shocker was the dialog, which
caught accurately—some felt too accu-
rately—the lockerroom raunch of New-
man and his teammates. Since the script
was written by Nancy Dowd, an out-
spoken feminist (and probably was in-
tended as a put-down of the macho male),
there were those who weren't certain
whether Dowd was attempting a turnoff
or a rip-off. In Marty Feldman’s PG-
rated The Last Remake of Beau Geste,
voluptuous Ann-Margret does а con-
siderable amount of bed-hopping, but
her charms at all times remain carefully
under wraps. On the other hand, she is
given to lines like “Screw the name of
Geste!” In a wildly funny mock com-
mercial that interrupts a desert battle,
Feldman brings on a used-camel sales
whose business motto is “Let H im
Hump You.” Similarly, while the latest

“Break it up, fellas—the sun is coming out.”

James Bond episode, The Spy Who
Loved Me, can boast the customary con-
tingent of intercontinental charmers, the
sexplay is largely by innuendo—and the
innuendo is largely in the dialog. When
he receives a summons from M to return
to London, Bond, of course, is in bed
with a beautiful blonde. “Tell him to
pull out of there immediately," M says to
Moneypenny. It's oral sex, but hardly in
the Linda Lovelace tradition.

Not that the mainstream movies have
suddenly become bereft of sex and nu-
dity. They haven't. But during the past
year or so, with many newspapers and
TV stations becoming just as uptight
about R-rated movies as about X-rated
ones, an R can severely limit a film's box
office potential, As a result, the producers
of both The Front and A Bridge Too Far
(as had the producers of All the Presi-
dent’s Men the year before) argued v
hemently—and ultimately with success —
before the M.P.A.A’s Classification and
Rating Administration that, despite the
fucks and similar obscenities on their
sound tracks, the social importance of
their pictures warranted the broader au-
dience that an R would exclude. For its
t, the M.P.A.A. maintained that rather
than. change its prcsent guidelines, which
automatically n an В tag to pictures
using such language, it would prefer to
consider the individual merits of each
case brought to it on appeal, Which
sounds reasonable enough until one be-
gins to examine the guidelines them-
selves. By what possible yardstick do
and hump warrant a PG, while
ws an automatic R? And if these
‘isms, what are we to
Fun with Dick and

п which Jane Fonda, squatting on
ilet, discusses domestic affairs with

George Segal, wipes herself,
draws up her panties and con-
tinues the conversation? It’s all, according
to the M.P.A.A., good, clean, PG-rated.
Tun, though the setting was scarcely vital
to the scene itself, which could just
casily have been played in a laundromat.

And yet the password around the
M.P.A.A. continues to be good taste. The
problem is, whose taste? In a recent
interview, Charles Jarrott, director of
The Other Side of Midnight, freely dis-
cussed his misgivings about taking on
the film adaptation of Sidney Sheldon’s
sex-drenched best seller. "When you get
olfered a thing like this," he said, “you
never know whether they really w:
you to plug the sex angle or пог.
ally, no one said anything to me specifi-
cally about what I could and couldn't do.
But I'm sure if 1 had tried to be very
explicit, they would have told me, 'No
^ As a matter of fact, Frank Yablans
[the producer] and I agreed that the last
thing we wanted to do was frontal nudit
It was a matter of judgment. Explicit
sex, you see, takes away a little of the

screw

fuck dr

are, indeed, vulga
make of the sceni
Jane

flushe:

fantasy, and Midnight was m
up to everybody's fantasy of se:

Nevertheless, following Sheldon's story
line of a young Frenchwoman (Marie-
France Pisicr) who learns to climb the
ladder of success on her back, Jarrott
found himself obliged to supply not only
several sex scenes but a strong i
sequence as well—all of which, despite
his ellorts to be tasteful, carned the film
its В. In Jarrou’s version. the abortion,
which Noelle (Pisier) commits herself
with a wire clothes hanger. takes pl

а bathtub. Through a cloud of steam,
d and a пасе
“You don't a

nt to play

we discern a. clutchi
of blood in th
tua

Шу sce anything,” says Jarrott, "except
the mind. We may а close-up on
the screen, but in the mind you're sceing
it all. And it hurts. it really hurts.” The

scene stands sho ; but so does
Pisier's big sex scene, in which, according

to Jarrott. ^I wanted to establish he
at courtesan. So I have her do some-
ag in the scene with some ice cubes,
and everybody wonders, What's with the
ice cubes? 1 did it quite deliberately.
wanted her to do something that was
beyond the ken of the average audience.
Т actually thought the studio would Га
down on me for that one, but not at
Truc, it’s a sex scene. But its differ
и humor in it" Not, however,
enough to avoid a Condemned rating
from the U. Catholic Conference,
which found
its trashy origin

This was also the year when every-
body—but everybody—was cracking down
on violence in both films and television.
lt used to be argued, back in the d
of the Production Code, that the reason
American films were so violen s that
normal sexual outlets were being re-
pressed. When the wraps finally came
olf, late in the Sixties, oddly enough, the
films became more violent than ever.
Today, while the sexual quotient is on
the wane, violence seems to haye again
escalated. In Cross of Ітоп, Peckinpah
fairly dotes on bodies being hurled into
the air by high е ves and includes
опе particularly repulsive shot of
being crushed beneath the treads of a
Slap Shot, Paul Newman, the
d ace player of a losing ice-
hockey team, instructs his cohorts to go
out and comm yhem upon ri
squads and imports a trio of N
nitwits to ensure the a Я
day's sequence in which Bruce Dern tests
the effectiveness of his weapon on the
unsuspecting guard at an abandoned air-
strip has to be one of the most cld-
blooded, chilling murders суе
Not to mention the graphic horro
routinely turn up in such excursions
ihe supernatural (all obviously inspired.
by The Exorcist) as Demon Seed, The
Omen, The Sentinel and, of course,
xorcist И: The Heretic—which man-

corpse

depicted.
that

aged to send its audiences into hysteri
but of laughter, not of fear.
Just as last year considerable concern
was expressed for the physical well-being
of actresses appearing in the so-called
shuff movies (actually, there was only
onc—and it was a fake), this year's con-
cern seemed to center on films featuring
the sexual abuse of children. Ever since
Linda Blair's graphic masturbation scene
in The Exorcist amd Jodie Foster's por-
trayal of a precocious child prostitute in
Driver, the tendency to feature
children in sexual roles been notably
on the inerease—and not only in the
pornos, where filins like Alice in Wonder-
land, Babyface and Baby Rosemary
have taken to using young women who
can. pass as nymphets {ог their hard-core
sex scenes. (As to the hard-core loops
involving children as young as thee in
1 encounters either with adults о
with other children, according to David
Fricdman, chairman of the board of the
m Association, “They've be
ito the field either from Sc
or from amateurs who are cught
up in this whole pedophile thing. I
only say that no member of our organiz:
tion, which includes all the major pro-
ducers, distributors and exhibitors of
adult films in this coum would touch
them with a ten-foot pole.
the other hand, in
re playing what isn't really
Jodie w: ing enough (and
blé enough) as a nightclub ch
nd kept woman in the all-kiddie
ing her do а bed-

toosic

room scene with Scott Jacoby in The Little
Gal Who Lives down the Lane (not to
mention poisoning
arranging a fatal accident for
Smith) is something све
much, in fact, for the Catholics, who
noted that “the film offends because it
condor ge promiscuity and makes
13-уезго the object of sexu
n." Blair, of course (
ion stint as a child raped with a
ndle by a group of older girls
in NBC's Hom Innocent), was back in
Exorcist I, her pubescent body flimsily
wrapped in gauzy, transparent robes.
And Paramount at present has in produc
tion Pretty. Baby, with New York's most
beautiful child model, Brooke Shields, as.
а 12-year-old prostitute in а New Orleans
brothel.

Quite apart from the pedophilic set,
however, there seems to be a large and
audience for movies featuring
cheerleaders, pompon girls or anyth
that suggests nubile teenagers
ашу dress. The formula generally
mixes lots of fast cars. sexy talk, a rape
(or attempt thereof) and auto-chase
finale. In A.LP.'s Joyride, which is one
of the year’s better ones, Desi Arnaz, Jr.
Robert Carradine and Melanie Griffith.
drive Irom Los Angeles to Alaska for the
fun and adyenture they expect to find
there. Instead, life along the pipe
proves so hard and violent that they turn
to crime, joined by teenaged prostitute
Amie Lockhart. From then on, it's
one escapade alter another, followed by
the inevitable car chases. In Death Game,

ter her scaring

"Im afraid she's tied up at the moment.”

201

PLAYBOY

202 Barbra сап do no wrong,

ndra Locke and Colleen Camp play а
of teenaged girls who terrorize
ncisco businessman Seymour Cas-
sel for a long weekend, after having
induced him into his bathtub for a bout
of three-way sex. In such PG flicks as
Grand Theft Auto and Super Van, the
accent falls more heavily on the car
chases than on the girl chases: but other-
wise, the recipe remains unchanged.

For the most disturbing (and dis-
turbed) teenage portrayals of the ye:
however, one must turn to the films
starring the sad-eyed Sissy Spacek: Carrie,
Welcome to Г.Я. and Robert Ашта
interestingly failed 3 Women. As Саше,
Spacek plays a scrawny high school girl,
derided by the older, more experienced
girls in the gym's communal shower room
when she gets her first period. Gifted
with supernatural powers to destroy, she
revenges herself on her schoolmates in
a variety of nasty and deadly ways. But
what one remembers most is the inno-
cent, virginal girl wonderingly exploring
the mysteries of her nude. ripening body
with her own nds. In Welcome to
LA, ptly subtitled "City of the One
Night Stands,” Spacek plays Keith Car-
radine's live-in maid, who has a penchant
for wearing only a skirt while doing the
housework and even less when picking
up money on the side with Carradine's
homy friends. (Abo in the film i
Geraldine Chaplin as а restless, s
Encino housewife who makes a deter-
mined play for Carradine's bod: she con-
tributes what has to be the single most
unappetizing and embarrassing nude
scene of the year.) But Spacek's most
complex and fascinating role to date is in
3 Women, in which she plays the in-
verted, inarticulate, enigmatic girl who
Шу assumes the persona (as well as
arment and gentlemen friends)
of Shelley Duvall, her roommate. As is
frequently the case with Атап films,
one is never quite sure what it all. adds
up to, but the gradual mansformation
of this shy and seemingly vulnerable
creature into ап arrogant, spiteful, man-
hungry demon is the kind of work that
Academy Awards are made of. Typical
of the kind of excitement that her per-
formance generates is the scene in which
she is secretly read
As Duvall returns 10 the
Spacek hastily conceals the book | ut
overlooks its key. At the time, you hope
desperately that Duvall won't notice itz
later, you only wish she had. Whatever
the ultimate meaning of 3 Women (the
third is a kind of Earth Mother, poaved
by Janice Rule). one senses thit
i ig ic surface Alm
tell us something very de
about the role of the
society.

Nor are we sure just what Robr:
Streisand was trying to say in A Star £s
Bom. There are those who think that
nd for them

is нм
p nd troubliz
female in our

the movie is a huge succes. "There are
also some who think that Kris Kristoffer-
son can do no wrong, and for them the
pairing was like a Second Coming. But
to a more dispassionate eye, neither the
script nor the performances provide the
slightest clue as to why a fading rock
star, surrounded by groupies, would
bother for а moment to lend a helping
hand to a dowdy singer in a third-rate
club. Or. for that matter, why, once they
were married, the now glamorous and
successful singer would be willing to put
up with the moods, petulance and dow
right brutality of her layabout spouse.
When Judy Garland played the role
some 20 years ago (and even more so
when net Gaynor created some 20
years before that), one felt the love and
sympathy that Howed from those women
for the sad wreckage of the man they had
once admired. Wi
of women’s lib, it’s hard not to believe
that she’s holding on to Kristofferson out
of spite for breaking up her act in that
seedy club. Somehow, despite the reveal-
ing gowns and a bathtub 4 deux, Strei-
sand comes across about as sexily as an
upended O-Cedar mop. Until she sings,
of course.

On the other hand, whether singing
her heart out or simply curled up in a

corner with a good book, in New York,
New York, talented Liza Minnelli pro-
jeas ап unprecedented warmth and

allure. Looking and sounding more than
ever like her mother, she seems to have
acquired some of Garland's softness and
vulnerability as well. No longer is she
merely. like Streisand, a performer par
excellence; as a singer married to an
egocentric saxophone player who splits
after she bears their baby, she touches
one with her voice, her cyes her entire
body. And her costar, Robert De Niro,

is по less effective as her mean-spirited,
competitive, malechauvinist husband.
But no American film of 1977 has

looked at the uneasy relationship be-
tween males amd females with а more
discerning суе than Woody Allen's en-
dearinglv semiautobiographical Anmie
Hall, Yn. his witty and sophisticated ma
shaling of such c ic devices
monologs delivered full-face into the cam-
cra or scenes from his childhood recreated
with the adult Allen present in the frame,
he is obviously paying tribute to di ссох
Ingmar Bergman (whose Face to Face is
the movie he wants to take fresh-faced
Diane Кемоп to sce оп their first date).
What is perhaps less clear is the fact th:
in his own comedic way, Allen is also
pursuing some of the ideological goals of
the lugubrious Swede. Indeed. as Variety
critic Joseph McBride observed, “This
film could be called Scenes from a Rela-
tionship.
In Annie Hall, Allen has sought to
expose the special angst—the "Pm not
good enough for Бег / Гт not good
enough for him” syndrome—that has un-

dermined so many marital and premari-
picture.
by quoting the Groucho M (and
Sigmund Freud) line “Any club that
would have me as a member, I wouldn't.
want to belong ro"—and goes on to
apply it to the women in his life: Carol
ane, Janet Margolin, Shelley Duvall
1, especially, Diane Keaton. When
Kane wies to coax Allen into bed, he
prefers to talk about the two-gun theory
in the Kennedy assassination. When he
nies to rip the clothes off Margolin dur-
ing a literary cocktail party, she cries,
“Don't, there's someone from The New
Yorker out there!” It’s the battle of the
sexes reduced to a по less deadly match-
ing of wits. Certainly, we sec it kill off
Allen's relationships. And, as in Berg-
man’s films. we come to realize that there
are no villains. Allen, like Bergman,
shows us the reasons people do wi
do, and it becomes impossible either to
hate or to blame—only to pity

At the present writing, the usu! crop
of year-end biggies is still being re-died
for release, Will Mac Wests Sextetle
reveal that life really begins at 80? Will
Rudolf Nureyev, in Ken Russell's version
of Valentino, be as exciting in a boudoir
as he is in a ballet? How clos identi-
fable will Anthony Quinn and Jacque-
line Bisset in The Gree ycoon be with
that other Greek tycoon and that other
Jacqueline? How explicit will Richard
Brooks be in the potentially grisly Look-
ing for Mr, Goodbar? Will any of Steven
Spielberg's Close Encounters be of a
sexual nature? Will Equus on the screen
анетр: the same total nudity thar we
saw on the stage? Is Gene Wilder really
The World's Greatest Lover? At the
moment, the answers to all these porten-
tous questions are still locked in the
cutting rooms of the major studios.

One answer thar is definitely пог
locked away in those cutting rooms is
where we go for our raunch. Vt one time.
back around the era of Myra Breckin-
ridge and The Magic Garden of Stanly
Sweetheart, the major studios seemed
bent on coing the gap that existed
between them and the more successful
purveyors of pornos. They had all the
advantages—iop stirs who would shuck
their chiffons if the price w
10 top properties that no porn merchants
could айога and the capital to make it
all posible. But the majors also had
stockholders in middle whe
preferred The Sound of Music to Beyond
the Valley of the Dolls and boards of
directors who preferred not to hear about
Pornoys Complaint, There was also
their М.Р.А.А., ready 10 stamp with an
X any movie that offended its interpreta-
tion of "good taste.” With notably tew
exceptions (Columbia's successful. release
of Emmanuelle, United 2 nvolve-
ments with Last Tango in Paris, for

(continued on page 206)

right, access

Americ

Smile. Blink. Click. Whoops. It happens in a flash. If
you took this picture, would you want to keep it?

Fotomat gives you a choice. Keep it if you want, bring
it back 1f you dont.

Well develop every printable picture on your roll of
film. Then you decide. If youre not tickled with any print,
come on into the Fotomat Store and we'll buy it back.

In cash. Take up to a month to mull it over and dont
forget your receipt. The Fotomat No Fault Foto Guarantee.

What you take is what you get. But what а

you keep is up to you. — E

ERR f
YOU ө
© FOTOMAT CORPORATION, 1977. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

PHOTOGRAPHY

SNAP LEGAL DECISIONS

You're standing at a busy intersection,
taking pictures of the passing scene,
when one of your subjects (call. him
Bruno) runs over and threatens to sue
if you don’t stop snapping him. Do
you know your rights? Should you tell
him to suck your lens cap or do you
stop shuttering and start shuddering?
“Very little is taught to photographers.
about themselves and the law,” says а
college photography teacher, “and
then it's mostly fatherly advice.” De-
spite the fact that photographers usu-
ally win most legal battles that do
arise, very few guidelines exist,

То help provide them, Robert Ca-
vallo and Stuart Kahan suggest in
their book, Photography: What's
the Law?, that you focus on three js-
sues: (1) Can I take the picture? (2)
Do I own it? and (3) If I own it, can
1 use it publicly? The answer to all
three is a qualified yes.

In the first place, you are free to
snap away as long as you end your
subject are on public property and the
pictures are taken purely for your own
pleasure, with no intention of selling
or exhibiting them. If Bruno lays a
hand on you, that's called battery and
he can be arrested. Some cxceptions
to this rule are pictures that are ob-
scene or that invade privacy (if they're
taken through a window, for exam-
ple). Also, you can't make a public
nuisance of yourself or harass а sub-

THINK TANK

an insider's look at everything you need to know to keep
up with, and flourish in, the latter part of the 20th century

ject (as in the contretemps between
Jackie Onassis and photographer Ron
Galella). “You should weigh the facts
and use your best judgment in those
situations,” says Clarence Wilson, an
attorney who lectures on art and the
law. “There is a good way and a bad
‘way to go about it.”

You should also be careful about
taking pictures at concerts or stage
shows, Celebrities have the right to sell
their likeness for profit and can legally
prevent you from clicking away. Also,
you may be infringing on a copyright
if you snap a play or even a picture
that enjoys such protection.

As for ownership of the pictures,
remember that you own what you take
unless somcone is paying you to do
the work. Then he owns the prints
and controls any further use of the
negati It is in the third area, using
or showing your pictures publicly, that
99 percent of the legal problems arise.
If you want to display Bruno’s picture
at a gallery or sell it, you should get
him to sign a release that provides
him with some sort of “consideration”
(usually money). As with the question
the best strategy is to
ance and get any necessary
agreement in writing before you focus
on anything.

Despite these caveats, the bottom
line for amateurs is not to be inhib-
ited when taking pictures for personal
pleasure. Just tell Bruno to say
“Cheese.”

NATURAL MEDICINE

"The discovery that the brain produces
endorphin, a substance that is at least
20 times as effective as morphine in
Killing pain, is an exciting one. But
the implications raised by the finding
are even more exciting. Endorphin,
which is a chain of amino acids
called a peptide, is being cited as a
potential key to understanding and
treating drug addiction, unlocking the
secret of acupuncture and explaining
the complex chemistry involyed with
our mood, our growth and our sex-
uality.

"The search for endorphin begen in
1971 with the discovery that morphine
attaches itself to specific receptor
molecules in the brain. It was rea-
soned that there must be a natural
substance in the body that also at-
taches to these receptors; and after
much effort by scientists throughout
the world, it was discovered in the
brain and pituitary gland. It was then
speculated that deficiencies in this sub-
stance called endorphin might be re-
lated to heroin addiction, since the
body tends to cease production of its
natural hormone when an artificial
one is given to it. If you give your
body heroin, a morphine derivative,
will it stop producing endorphin? Re-
searchers are looking for the answer.

As for acupuncture, Dr. Bruce
Pomeranz, a Canadian neurophysiol-
ogist, has shown that endorphin is re-
leased in laboratory ani
acupuncture needles are

them. It's believed that the hormone
then circulates through the nervous
system and blocks out pain.

Dr. Avram Goldstein, director of
the Addiction Research Foundation in
Palo Alto, California, believes that
there are receptors in the brain for
hundreds of other peptides besides
endorphin. “The idea that there are
natural substances in the body that
react with the receptors may be a new
concept to the public, but not to
pharmacologists,” he says. It has re-
cently been reported, for example,
that the brain contains receptors for
Valium, and it seems likely that the
search will soon begin for the body's
natural anti-anxiety substance.

SWAT'S NOT

"SWAT CONCEPT SWEEPING COUNTRY”
was a common headline just a few
years ago. Hundreds of police depart-
ments either enchanted or alarmed by
the activities of television's SWAT
warriors vied for Federal money to
arm themselves with high-powered ri-
fles and armored personnel carriers.
But critics have long maintained
that all this firepower was at best a
fad and at worst a waste of money.
They cited cases such as the village of
Minden, Nevada, with a population
of 300, asking the Law Enforcement
Assistance Administration for $20,000
to equip a SWAT team that could
handle snipers and control riots. Too
much Federal money was going for

hardware at the expense of research
and management, notes Marvin Wolf-
gang, a well-known criminologist.

Some city governments, such as those
of Santa Cruz, California, and West
Hartford, Connecticut, have elim-
inated funds for their SWAT units.
The New York Times recently pointed.
out that members of various SWAT
squads were performing such mun-
dane chores as escorting movie stars to
the Academy Awards.

Small towns are beginning to call
on the more experienced forces of the
nearest large city when trouble arises
that requires special weapons or tac-
tics. This was the case in New Ro-
chelle, New York, when a sniper was
holed up in a warehouse and the New
York City SWAT team was called in.

In the meantime, hundreds of thou-
sands of dollars have gone to small
suburbs or rural towns that probably
will never use the weapons theyve
purchased, except for target practice.

EYES HAVE IT

What would you say if we told you
that the color of your eyes was an
indicator of your emotional make-up
or even your physical prowess? "That
clichés such as those associated with
darkeyed Latin lovers and blue-eyed
beauties may have a basis in fact?

This news comes from Dr. Allan
Markle, who works at the Huntsville-
Madison County, Alabama, Mental
Health Center and has studied such

relationships for the past six years.
Among other things, he has found that
the more pigment (melanin) your eyes
contain, the easier it is for you to be
aroused by sexual stimuli.

Not only that but Dr. Markle has
found that dark-eyed people tend to
excel at sports that require quick,
reactive behavior, such as batting a
baseball. Blue-eyed persons do better
at self-paced sports, such as bowling,
where they win more money than
dark-eyed keglers. The lights also
make better baseball pitchers and
basketball freethrow shooters. Markle
cites blueeyed golfer Jack Nicklaus as
the “classic self paced person.” Markle
and a colleague, Dr. Morgan Worthy,
have even suggested that one factor
in the differences between black and
white athletes is really eye-color dif-
ferences, since blacks tend to have
dark eyes.

In sex, as well as in other sports
there are the quick versus the delib-
erate. When Markle measured ге-
sponses to pornographic pictures, he
learned that dark-eyed females were
the most easily aroused, followed by
(in order) light-eyed females, dark-
eyed males and light eyed males.

Markle suspects that melanin is the
key to all of this. He suggests that
melanin may permit faster neural
transmission of messages from the eye
to the brain, so the darker your eyes,
the faster your reaction time. Remem-
ber that when next you search
her eyes for some deep meaning. [v]

ILLUSTRATIONS BY KINUKO Y, CRAFT

205

SEX IN Cl

PLAYBOY

example, or Inserts, or Pier Paolo Paso-
s Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom—
which L has steadfastly refused to
release in this country) the majors have
shrunk back from anything dealing with

explicit sex. It’s a field they have left
dear for their less-well-heeled, hungrier
competition.

и
producers abhor it even more strongly.
For at least six year, roughly between
1970 and 1976, the porn merchants
ground out their fuck-and-suck classics
as routinely as MGM once made its
Andy Hardys or the Warners their Perry
Masons. lt soon became apparent, how-
ever, that in what had been considered a
routine business, catering to a limited
number of hard-core patrons, crossover
films were possible. Deep Throat pointed
the way, followed by The Devil in Miss
id the Mitchell Brothers’ Behind
Green Door. Radley Мерет, а soft-
core producer, got into the act, posing as
Henry Paris, with Score and The Open-
ing of Misty Beethoven, Producers of the
hard stuff are now reaching out to that
wider audience that they know can be
attracted to the porn palaces only if their
films have something of the production
values that they have become accustomed
10 in studio-made movies, something of
the technical finish of those films and
maybe one or two pornostar names as
additional bait. It is worth noting that,
carly in the year, Paramount began pro-
duction on First Love as an X-rated
feature, then changed its corporate mind.
In its revised version, the film, starring
William Katt (of Carrie) and Susan Dey
(of TV's The Partridge Family), will
emerge as "an old-fashioned romance,”

ature abhors a vacuum, hungry

according to Wayne Warga in an on-set
ew for the Los Angeles Times.
the director, Joan Darling. he

reported, “This is a story about what it's
like to be in Jove for the first time, in a
physical way. There will be some nudity,
but I might shoot the love scenes from
the shoulders up; I don't know if it
would be that much different.” The mak-
ers of porno know.

The whole thing is not to cheat the
viewers—to give them more, if possible,
than they came in for. Phe Starlets, for
xample, like The Stewardesses a few

s ago, is in 3-0 (with glasses): but
e The Stewardesses eventually got an
R rating, The Starlets boldiy exploits its
X. I's been handsomely produced, with

a bevy of singularly attractive girls, but
its plot—the girl who makes it by sucking
up to a producer—is hardly a novelty.
206 Add 3-0 (which the producers have some-

ЕЛИА (continued from page 202)

“Cocks acquire a roundness. Breasts seem to dangle
out of the screen, hovering over the audience.”

how managed to escalate, calling it 4-D),
and the result is a definite turn-on. The
cocks acquire a roundness, the female
orifices have an inviting depth to them
that, despite occa al flaws in the
photographic registration, creates an ex-
traordinary sense of intimacy just short
of participation. Breasts scem to dangle
out of the screen, hovering over the
audience; penises ejaculate straight into
the camera, producing the effect of squirt-
ing into the theater. One is tempted to
theorize that 3-D was specifically invented
for the pornos.

But then, so was Jennifer Welles,
Jennifer, blonde and 40ish, has starred
in such New York-based pornos as Sweet
Cakes, Honeypie and Litile Orphan
Sammy. She is a good deal like Mae West
at the height of her prowess. Mae always
seemed to be kidding sex. but on the
square. She not only loved it, she flaunted
it. "It's not the men y life, i's the
life in my men that I'm interested in,
she once observed. Which would seem to
be the philosophy underlying Inside
Jennifer Welles, a biopic that Welles
purportedly directed (even as West was
presumed to have written her own screen-
plays). Actually, it was done by Joe
Sarno, a veteran of the New York hard-
core scene with an uncanny knack for
finding angles to maximize the stag
tion in his films. It's handsomely
mounted, professionally done, and is
almost literally a compendium of the
sexual fantasies of its si She loves to
sai ids? An adolescent delivery boy
knocks at her door. She has always
wanted to make it with a Chinaman?
Half a dozen Orientals surround her for
the film's finale. “Twenty minutes from
now, we'll all be horny again,” one of
them rema tak
her pleasure with them. In her prime, Mac
West couldn't have done better.

The point is that, like Mae, Jennifer
relishes her ity. She may be amused
by it, but when she is being sucked or
fucked, she fondles her breasts to en-
hance the sensuality of the moment. She
seeks the encounter, whether it be with
a cabdriver or with а projectionist who
is showing a movie. She may be catering
to the male fantasy that the lady
able and willing, but what
Welles so fascinating is that the

choice js always hers and that she can
terminate an affair when she has achieved.
her own satisfaction. Starring in her own

ns will be her last),
she delivers the narration as if everything
happened exactly as she describes it.
Jennifer Welles just may be the most

film (which she cla

liberated woman of 1977 and Inside
Jennifer Welles its most liberated film.

On the other hand. the female image
being projected by the youthful Sharon
Mitchell seems almost calculated to
bring down the entire women’s move-
ment on her pretty neck. In Joy, she
portrays an innocent high school girl
who gets raped by a couple of Puerto
Ricans and discovers that she really
likes it—so much so that she becomes
atiable, climbing into the bathtub
ith her high school boyfriend, chasing
men into alleys, seducing another on
the subway and working her way up
(or down) to four in a men’s room. In
fact, the film describes her as a female
rapist—with rape as her little way of
bringing joy to the world. In The Viola-
tion of Claudia, she plays a bored house-
wife who, at the instigation of her tennis
structor (who also happens to be
pimp), takes up prostitution for fun and
profit. The point of both films seems to
be that women enjoy rape and get their
jollies from pursuing men—notions that
er to the ws of most con-
sociologists.

After the surprise success of last year's
Alice in Wonderland (which began as a
porno but was toned down [ог an 5
ng and broad general release),
t other children's
s be fucked up. Like Alice, this year's
Cinderella is a musical (although none of
its numbers is likely to end up in the
Top 40). Its action, however, is more
hard core than Alice's, with numerous
lesbian interludes and a faggy fa
mother. In this version. incident
isn't merely a glass slipper th:
ella has to fit. And although 7 into Snowy
purports to be the "adult" version of
Snow White, its producers at timcs scem
to have the plot mixed up with thar of
Cinderella, and maybe those of one or
two other stories as well. No matte
nobody sees these movies for the story.
They come for the girls, like blonde,
sensuous Abigail Clayton, one of

“better-looking breed of uninhibited ac
tresses” covered (or uncovered) this past
July in riaynoy's The New Girls of

Porn. Or like the gorgeous Catharine
Burgess, who plays in yer another erotic
ary tale, Cinderella
2000. She's also seen, to better advantage,
in Through the Looking Gla
that has no connection whatsoever with
the Lewis Carroll classic

In addition to rummaging through the
children’s section of the library shelves,
some few porn producers are fingering
the classics of erotic literature. This year,
for example, Alan Roberts produced and
directed Young Lady Chatterley, a fast
and loose adaptation of the once-ince
diary D. Н. Lawrence novel. (A co
siderably more chaste French venion
appeared in 1955, but its distributors
had to carry the fight all the way to
the Supreme Court before they could

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PLAYBOY

208

distribute it in this country.) In the pres-
ent telling, a few flashbacks fill us in on
the scandalous aflair of the original Lady
Chatterley and her virile gardener, but
the center of attention is Harlee Мс
Bride, а London shopgirl who inherits
the estate. Finding the diary of her de-
parted ancestor, she enthusiastically re-
more lurid passages. McBride
ws a fresh and pleasing presence to
itle role and the production, filmed

opulence visual beauty far beyond
the average sexploitation movie. As docs
the Mitchell Brothers’ The Autobiogra-
phy of а Flea, based on yet another of
those anonymous 19th Century classics
of erotic writing. The flea, in this
stance, has taken up residence in Jean
Jennings: shapely crotch, which proves
vantage point fiom which to
and comment upon—the com-
ings and goings of her numerous bed
parmers, including some local nobles,
several clergymen (John C. Holmes amon:
them) and her girlfriend's father. Di
rected by Sharon McNight, one of the
increasing number of women who are
getting their first chance at direaing vi
the pornos, Flea boasts handsome settit
elaborate costumes, good-looking people
nd а forthrightly anticlerical bias.
From Sweden have come Bel Ami,
with ou

own Harry Reems in the title
role (and, he d rd-core inserts

that were added Stateside without his
participation), and Molly, а grand-scale
iptation of Daniel Defoe’s МоЙ

Flanders starring beauteous Maria Lym

become grist for the pornographic mills.
Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman turns up,
loosely. as Hard Soap, Hard Soap, while

the phenomenal success of Charlie's
Angels on the tube inspired Joel Scott
(of Sometime Sweet Susan) to try A Com-
ing of Angels, with Abigail Clayton in
the Farrah FawcettMajors role and
Annette Haven and Lesllie Bovee to
round our the venturesome trio. Radley
Metzger's latest, once more released un-
der his Henry Paris pseudonym, is
Barbara Broadcast, with the comely An-
nette Haven as Barbara You
and С. J. Laing (the Barbra
of porn) giving new meaning
depth interview. is year, Bovee
and Holmes essayed the Stan-
wyck-Fred. MacMurray roles in а decid
edly hard-core send-up of Billy Wilder's
memorable Double Indemnity titled
Eruption: and in Fiona on Fire, Amber
Hunt assumes а porn equivalent of the
Gene Tierney role in Laura, Wait until
they discover the bondage possibilities of
1 Was a Fugitive from а Chain Gang—
with an all-female cast!

Despite continuing crackdowns from
the cops and the heated protests of ultra
conservative rightwing groups. there i
every evidence that the makers of these
so-called mature entertainments are slowly
getting their acts together. When Snuff
r, members of the Adult
ilm Association picketed the theaters in
which it way playing to protest а type of

10 ап in-

film they felt should never have been
made, This year, A.F.A. officers volun-
tarily appeared belore a Congressional
investigating committee to pledge their
organization's assistance in quelling the
rising incidence of child pornography.
At the association's First. Annual Erotic
Awards presentation, held in Los Angeles

leishman, its elo-

“This is only a coffee break—you should see

the Christmas party

that its basic tenet, propounded when the
organization was formed a little over ten
years ago—that every adult should have
the right to sce the film of his choice—
will probably become the law of the land
before the year is out.
less and until that happens, the
biggest problem remains the Supreme
Court's unwillingness, or inability, to
supply proper guidelines as to what асти
Шу constitutes obscenity. Its 1973 Miller
decision, with its emphasis on “соте
porary community standards,” may have
made it easier for prosecutors to haul
films into court, but it also made it more
difficult for them to make their charges
stick because of the inevitable vagueness
as to what the contemporary community
ndards really аге. As to the film m:
ers, whether they be with the major
studios or in sexploitation's minor leag
every picture becomes a gamble.
is all too likely that any movie
the Disney tradition will offend the con
temporary community standards of som:
community somewhere, the Court has,
in effect, applied a firm, strong brake
upon the medium's Fist Amendment
right to freedom of expressio
Sull, it must be said that American
film makers operate with a greater degree
of freedom than their confreres anywhere
else in the world. Kissing is still verboten
in Indian movies. The new Greck gov
ernment has authorized the police to
confiscate not only pictures with strong
sex scenes but even those with “exce:
nudity." Argentina's curent, repressive
ne has the authority to ban
t it finds "offensive" (such as the ex
Rebellion in Patagonia, the tue
work-
nt uprising in сапу
Twentic, filmed three years apo, when
another, more liberal government was
briefly in power). In France, pornos have
been permitted to be made for the past
two years—but the government has
slapped such а heavy tax on their exhibi
tion as virtually to choke off the market.
Iso discouraged by
ng production money to producers
whose scripts are deemed inimical to
governmental policy. In England and
Sweden, violence is taboo. And in the
viet Uni and its satellites, nothing
сап be made that goes against the party
of the moment—and if the line
as it has been known to do from
lime to time, pictures сап be halted
production or suppressed. Eroticism is
officially condemned as а manifestation
of “bourgeois decadence.
As a result. the flow of foreign films to
these shores has markedly declined over
the years. Where once the French, Italian
and Scandi were demon-
strtbly more liberated than our own, the
balance has long since swung in the other
direction. Today, if a European sex film
is brought to this country, most importers
find it necessary to heat up the action by

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL?

The Ginseng root has been blamed for centuries
for theevilsof the flesh.
While skeptical of its legendary
aphrodisiac powers. English Leather
has created a new men’s cologne
around this herbal root
The result. a strangely gratifying
effect on you and those around
you. More than justa scent,
its a mood that envelops.

Mysterious how something one

/ GINSENG COLOGNE
BY ENGLISH LEATHER

Thescentofthe centuries.

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sex close-ups before
releasing their picture into the highly
competitive hard-core market.

As for films aimed at a broader audi-
ence, there is a growing tendency among
the American studios to enter into co-
production deals with their European
counterparts in order to ensure top pro-
duction values and the presence of inter-
nally Known stars. Perhaps most
typical of these international deals is
Lina Wertmullers fourpicture contract
hi Warner Bros. The first film, starring
ndice Bergen and Giancarlo Giannini,
went into production with the unwieldy
title The End of the World in Our Usual
Bed in a Hatful of Rain (later simplified
to A Night Full of Rain). The story line
concerns ап Italian Communist jour-
nalist who keeps falling in and out of
love with Bergen, and Werunuller has
described it variously social farce,

mie comedy-di ad a political

the Cannes Fe
val in v was an fulian-Canadi-
an coproduction, 4 Special Day. John
Vernon amd money seem to have been
the principal Canadian contri
Sophia Loren, Marcello Mastroi:
director Ettore Scola headed the Ialia
contingent. The “special day” is the day
that Hitler visited Mussolini in Rome
and virtually all Rome turned. out to
preet him—all except Loren, married to a

ist, and М a homosexual
п adjacent . In the cour
of the eventful day, she finds love, he
finds—momentarily—his manhood; and
all ends in pitiable bleakness as the hus-
band returns home to lead his wife to

the bedchamber and Mastroianni is
picked up by the police as а "defeatist
element” Still 10 come, but from all

reports no cop-out on the sexual frontier,
is the Halian-based production of Gore
Vidal's Caligula, backed by Penthouse
ud furiously rejected by its
ed author.

The moribund British film industry is
in perhaps the greatest need of imported
dollars to pump blood through its clotted
veins. Its deteriorating studios, its disas
trously restrictive movie unions and. spi-
costs of production have made it
ly impossible to get amy locally
filmed product off the ground. (One
ception would seem to be the low-
budgeted Sebastiane, based on the life of
aint Sebastian; but its main attraction—
in England, at lcast—was its abundance
of nude young men on the screen.) The
high point of the year’s American-backed
British productions is Tony Richardson's
Joseph Andr. Icome return to the
time and tone of his earlier Tom Jones.
Joseph (Peter Firth) js ап antractively
Simpleminded young man who is con-
atly being led astray by the lusty ladies
ncouniers in 18th Century England
(including an alarmingly buxom Ai

us.

Margret). It’s ап adroit film, dever with-
out being cutting, sexy without ever
resorting to porn. Ihe social c
early 18th Century England
bawdy and Richardson has ciprured. its
bawdiness with humor and restraint. In
Tom Jones, it took the better part of a
reel to depict, over mounting platters of
food, the growing mutual desire of Albert
Finney, as Tom, and Joan Greenwood:
here Ann-Margret says it all in the way
she nibbles a stalk of asparagus.

Even more markedly British, with its
ivyclad country homes and well-tended
lawns, its Pinteresque dialog and the
hig ved performances contributed.
by such British stalwarts as Dirk. Bogarde,
John Gielgud and David
Alain Resnais’ Providence. Fhe only
thing is, irs French—a French film made
in English, its polished cast suppl
by Ellen Burstyn and Е
featuring a score by the veteran Holl,
wood composer. Miklos Rozsa, As always,
Resnais creates a fascinating confusion
of time and place, of the real and the
imagined in this sardonic sudy of a
dying author who much prefers his
tard son (Warner) to his legitimate son,
a chilly lawyer (Bogarde), and is trying
to place both of th ag with their
assorted wives and mist uto-
biographical novel that he is writing.
‘The framework for the film is a reunion
of the clan at Providence, the family
manor, during which we

ly c

Warner, is

esses, in

that Bogarde holds him responsible for
his mother’s suicide and that Bogarde also
suspects Warner of making advances to
his wife, Burstyn. The dialog is frequ
ly funny, often bawdy and occ
scatological, making it emphatically an
adult family portrail

Adult also, but more typically
is Cousin Cousine, probably the most

‘rench,

profitable of the year's imports. Ву sad-
dling middleaged Victor Lanoux with a
neurotic, pill-popping wile (Marie-France

Pisier) and the blonde, delightful. Marie-
Christine Barrault with а philande
husband (Guy Marchand), the film seems
to give a nod of approval, even of sym-
pithy, to adultery. Ironically, the rela-
tionship is not at all adulterous at the
outer. The two meet nily wed-
ding, find a quick rapport and decide not
to spoil a perfect friendship with sex. But
when word gets around that the two are
seeing each other with suspicious fre-
quency, the immediate conclusion is that
they have been sleeping together. Since
they are suspected of it у. the
decide шеу might as well enjoy the
selves—and do.

Irony, not sympathy, sulfuses F
Truffaut's latest, The Man Who Loved
Is Charles Denne
y pair of pretty.
ion. regard-
us of thei

Women, which dei
insatiable pursuit of
legs that crosses his line of vi
less of the age or marital s
wuer. He writes а book about his obses-
on, blaming it on a mother who
neglected. him to spend her time with

Ses

Jinge Grai des

“Apart from the food, Oliver, it's not such a bad school."

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other men—then proceeds to seduce his
lady editor. In a final irony, he gets hit
by a car while following yet another girl
nd, hospitalized, breaks his neck falling
ош of bed in a lunge after the nurs

Claude Chabrol, that most Hitchcock-
of French directors, demonstrates
an odd change of pace in Alice or the
Last Escapade, a frequently chilling trip.
into the supernatural. It stars Sylvia
Kristel (late of Emmanuelle) as a woman
who leaves her husband in a huff and
drives away. On the road, her windshield
cracks and she pulls up at an old dark
house. It isu't Boris Karloff who answers
the door, but she gets the weird feeling

at somehow she has been expected—a
feeling that is confirmed in her
encounters through the night

various

she drives oli —and the windsh
ain. Returning to the house, she de-
scends to a dark cellar, where she d
covers herself and her car, smashed
against a пее. Chabrol brings to the film
his invariable technical panache, and
also reveals that Kristel has far more than
just а pretty face—or body, for that mat-
ter, Although Alice includes one nude
sequence, Kristel’s performance makes it
amply dear that she wasn't chosen for
that alone. Indeed, her ability to perform
with her clothes on was confirmed a bit
п René la Canne, а raflish cook
ріаше that became опе of the year's
most popular in its native land. In
she plays the girlfriend of one of the
robbers (Gerard Depardieu) but is will-
ing to share her favors with his pal, a
corrupt police inspector (Michel Piccoli),
while operating a gaudy bordello.
Meanwhile, Just Jaeckin, Kristel's di-
rector on Emmanuelle, has come up with
another of his handsomely photographed,
discreetly softcore pornos in Madame
Claude (subject of а PLAYBOY pictorial
this past August). Madame Claude hap-
pens to be one of the best-known
madams in Paris, with a reputation for
ly supplying the right girl for the
might be.

infa
right occasion, whatever th:

In the convoluted plot, the girls are used
for everything from influencing Japar

politicians in behalf of the American
Government to initiating into the mys-
teries of sex the son of a Greek shipping
tycoon. It all gets to be a bit complicated,
but the girls are bountiful and beautiful,
so who cares?

For the most farout French film of
the year, however, one must turn to
Walérian Borowczyks The Beast. Borow-
czyk, of course, is the Polish-born direc-
tor who upended the entire European
sexploitation field two years ago with
his ribald Zmmoral Tales. In his version
of Beauty and the Beast, the Beast is real
enough—the furry descendant of an
aristocratic family with connections right
up to the Vatican: and Beauty (Lisbeth

Hummel) is an American heiress
marry е. What makes the film a
shocker is the fact that the Beast’s great
passion, until Miss Hummel enters the
scene, і breeding his prize stallions on-
screen with willing mare:

But the biggest revelation of 1977
been the emergence of a youthful, vi-
brant, | new cinema in West Ger-
many. Best known are the works of the
prolific director Rainer Werner Fassbind-
ег, whose most recent film, Shadows of
Angels, deals with Jewish manipul:
in the postwar realestate market. In
contrast, his elegant, eloquent Effi: Briest
is based on a late-19ch Century novel
that, like Madame Bovary, dares to ques-
tion the conventional role that socicty
has assigned to women; while his Fox
and His Friends ingeniously class-angles
the plight of the proletarian homosexual.
Fassbinder is а phenomenon—a prodigy
on the order of Orson Well

Another young German to watch is
Wim Wenders, whose Kings of the Road
captured the Gold Hugo last November
at the Chicago International Film Festi-
val. In Kings, Bruno, the protagonist, is
perfectly happy driving from town to
town, delivering films and repairing bro-

psychologist, fresh from a breakup with

his wife. The two develop a real camara-
deric until they discover (quite unlike
the boys in our own "buddy" films) that.
they can’t get along without women.

And then there is Ex und Hopp (which
would roughly correspond to our own
phrase “No deposit, no return"), а semi-
documentary tour of the homosexual bars
and drug centers of Charlouenburg, in
West Berlin. The film, with ample
nudity and several sexual encounters, has
already become a classic of the Berlin
underground. Vanessa, by Hubert Frank,
Imost too obviously follows in the foot-
steps of Emmanuelle with its Hong Kong
settings and lush photography. Vanessa
(gorgeous Olivia Pascal). raised in a con-
vent, gets to take over her family's chain
of brothels in the Far East but remains
virginal, despite numerous temptations
set in her path. The Evolution of Snuff,
by Richard R. Rimmel, is a documentary
that proceeds from the assumption that
even though an actress may not actually
be killed in the production of a porno
movie, the experience can destroy her
psychologically—an assumption — that
amel attempts to document through
tervicws with the people who make
such films, including the actresses them-
selves (one of whom co cd suicide
shortly after talking to Rimmel). Ius а
sty kind of voyeurism, the
nd that has it both ways: Clucking
selfrighteously against what
showing but existing only to show it.
But then, that's one of the oldest dodges
in the business. Everything considered,
we might well be disappointed, but not
surprised, that it has copped up once
more in the films of 1977.

away it's

“Do I complain about your men friends?”

PLAYBOY

CREATIVE QUIZ (continued from page 177)

"It's the obvious that escapes our notice, because we
have been conditioned to look for the complicated.”

cin make а new cigarette. He finds 25
butts, enough to last him until the stores
open, if he smokes one cigarette every
hour. How long does his supply last?

IN AND OUT LETTERS

Creative solutions to problems are often
simple, elegant, even obvious. Yet it is
the obvious that frequently escapes our
notice, because we have been condi-
tioned to look for the complicated when
solving problems.

А man draws a circle, then begins to
place all the letters of the alphabet either
inside or outside the circle. А goes
inside, B. belongs outside, C belongs out-
side, D belongs outside, E goes in the
Circle, Е goes in the circle. Where do G,
H and the rest of the alphabet belong?
What is the system being used?

B
(4
D

LOOSE ENDS

This problem illustrates how defining
a problem too narrowly can inhibit and
delay finding a solution.

Look at the sketch below and imagine
that you are the person shown stand-
ing in the room. You have been given
the task of holding the ends of the two
strings suspended from the ceiling. The
strings are located so that you cannot
ich one string with your outstretched
arm while holding the second. The
тоот is bare and you have only the
resources you would normally have in
your pocket or handbag. How do you
solve this problemz

‘THE COLLECTED WORKS
We

e frequently hampered in cre-

210 ative problem solving by our habitual

ways of looking at things. The more

familiar nation or an object is,
the harder it is to sce it differently. Cre-
ativity, however, requires a "fresh pair

of eyes.”

While this problem looks deceptively
simple, it is actually quite difficult. As
a matter of fact, only about one person
in 100 is able to solve it the first time
around, The problem is included be-
cause it is extremely instructive.

There are four volumes of Shakespeare's
collected works on the shelf. The pages
of each volume are exactly two inches
thick. The covers are each one sixth of
an inch thick. The bookworm started
Mg at page one of volume nd it
» through to the last page of volume
four. What is the distance the bookworm
traveled?

THE GREEK CROSS

This problem wains your ability to
avoid restrictions that hamper your
mind and thar don't exist in the given
problem statement

Теп coins are arranged as below.

Move just wo coins to another posi-

tion so that a Greek cross, containing six

coins in each of the two rows, will be
formed. (This problem is best solved
with actual coins on a

INGE;

үлтү

With some problems, а creative solution
can occur only after the elements or
the

problem have be
o a different pattern. This
requires that, in your mind's сус, you
do some juggling of the parts visually.

A businesman brought back from

parts of n re

Europe four pieces of chain in solid gold,
each consisting of three links:

t t

He wanted to keep these as an in-
vestment, but his wife felt that, joined
together, these pieces would make a
lovely necklace. So she went to а jeweler
and said, “I want you to connect these
pieces to make a necklace. How much
will it cost?” The jeweler laid the individ-
ual pieces of chain out in this pattern:

со

He told the lady, "I charge two-fifty
to break a link and two-filty to melt it
together again. Since you have four
corners, it will cost you twenty dollars.”

The lady said, “That's too much. Actu-
ally, you can do it for fifteen dollars.”

The problem, then, is to construc
necklace, breaking and joining onl
three links, How would you do it?

MATCHING TRIANGLES

Using six kitchen matches, make four
equilateral triangles out of the six
matches.

DRAW YOUR WATCH

Creativity requires exact, recallable ob-
servation. lt requires that we make

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PLAYBOY

212

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If you have
any doubts
about yourself,
try
something else.

After shave, after shower,
after anything?
Brut*lotion by Fabergé.

you need to reverse the problem, or
stand it on its head, so to speak. How
would you solve the following problem?

It was the 16th hole. The newcomer
had an excellent chance of winning.
His iron shot had fallen short of the
green and he had a good chance of
making a birdie. Smiling broadly, he
bounded down the fairway, then stopped
short in шил dismay. His ball had
rolled into a small paper bag carelessly
tossed there by someone in the gallery.
If he removed the ball from the hag,
it would cost him a penalty stroke. И
he wied to hit the ball while it was in
the bag, he would lose control of the
shot. For a moment, he stood there pon-
dering the problem. Then he solved it.
How?

discriminating and refined use of our
senses.

On a piece of paper, draw the face
of your watch without looking at it

Now look at the result. Chances are that
you missed a few important details or
drew them wrong—almost everybody
docs.

DRAW YOUR STEERING WHEEL

Lf you think you screwed up your
watch face badly or if you don't wear
one, пу drawing the steering wheel of
vour car—probably the only object in
front of which you spend more time
than your television, Cheaters who go
out into the garage to peck get extra
points for effort.

1175 IN THE BAG

shows that with some
ing a aeative solution,

This exercise
problems req

KINDRED RELATIONS.
can form

related to the preceding four words. (You
1 some cases, or commonly used expressions.)

"Think of a fifth word that
compound, hyphenated words,
Examples:
1. Elephant, bleed, lie, wash — —
Answer: White (white elephant, bleed white, white lie, whitewash)
2. Sleeping, contest, spot, shop
Answer: Beauty (sleeping beauty, beauty contest, beauty spot, beauty shop)
3. Style, love, jacket, span 2
: love life, life jacket, life span)
Now train your own associative powers with the following sets:

Bug rest fellow cover
Cross baby blood ribbon Á€—
Sec carpet hot cent ENS
Touch soap sell LU
hush belt order nna
cup cake forbidden a
Wagon stand aid dance Ек стр
Dust movie gaze sapphire DEM
Tooth talk potato bitter "MEET
Alley date snow spot ETE
Call burglar hep aes
Rest linen fellow as,
Bulldog toast windows a
Opera box ston =
Brain bath house as
Wire feed play S
Studies science welfare E.
Storage shoulder comfort cream =
Walk new scape beam -
Business suit. wrench shine 3
Fire hole bent catch T
Days biscuit colla ear TE
Clay breast English hearted mos:
breast pox wire
magic market head
up man
stick time
office school 3 =
roll rouen
star prayer

BRIDGE THE GAPS

Most of us hamper our creative thinking by letting our vocabularies become
rigid. This exercise will enable you to auain greater heedom and fluency in your
vocabulary. Jt will also loosen up your mind to form quick associations, And

tions are the stuff from which new concepts and original ideas аге made.
Playing it with others makes it an interesting game to stimulate imagination.
Fill in each of the three spaces between the two key words with words that

assoc

gful relation with the one preceding and the one following it.

= shovel
Possible answers: Dark color white snow shovel
2. School run

Possible answers: School guard house dog run

Now it’s your turi
1. Star before
2. Lemon dog
8. Fire scared
4. Dog white
5. Postage knee
6. Whit about
7. Short. out
8. Blood color
9. tet
10. Blue ball
11. Hunt house
12. Cat car
15. Sleep bad
14. Concert = = machine

home

15. Puppy

WORD CHAINS,

Most creative people are noted for the voluminous vocabulary they have at
their command. The more words you can think of, the more readily you can form
associations. Words represent ideas, and most new, creative ideas are the result of a
thinking process called association of ideas.

Here is а series of four-lener words that have nothing in common, By chang-
ing only one letter at a time, think of a series of words to build а bridge betwee
the tw

ample: Моњ аше
1. Work, pork, роге, tore, tome,
2. Work, cork, соге, come,
The fewer words you use to bi
Now experiment with these:

ame, lame
me, lame
Id the bridge, the better.

. Fire/mint 10. Tour/sort
Love/pare 11. Male/word
. Rise/bath 12. Miss/base

13. Cake/bill
14. Mean /soap
/ 15. Pave/tort
mean 16. Wild /more
17. Book /list

WHAT'S THE DRIFT?

problem solvers are noted for their keen observational powers. Alert-
ness of observation frequently provides the necessary clues that lead to effective
solutions to problems.
This exercise is designed to wain and strengthen your observational ability
In the following series, the words are related not by meaning but by spel
Find the relationship and the rule used in creating each series.
Example.
Uniform du
excommunicate

tribunal thereunder

соп stunning immunity
superabundance

Answer: The letters UN move with cach word опе letter to the right.

Now try these scries:

1. Friendliest. siesta disinterested supercelestial incontestable festering
prestigious suggestiveness pestilentia destructively establishment

2. Artful spectacular tly sweetheart starve surcharge retarded
smartly forearm smarting

3. Bath think pithy ether leather methadone stealthily
deathless playthings

4. Antagonism commandant cantaloupe dilettante plantation
supplanted synanthous implanting phantasm r banter
shanty ante cant

5. Rotunda oration pronounce northern chr florescence
metropolis corrected primrose sartorial rapturous immemorial

metachromatic metaphor
(Answers begin on next page.)

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PLAYBOY

214

BREAKING OUT

‘This puzzle is a perfect illustration of
how rules and restrictions that we сапу
with us unconsciously can inhibit prob-
lem solving and why most people c
not exceed the imaginary square-shaped
boundary. (Note that the restriction of
the boundary was not part of the rules)

Researchers at Stanford Universi
were given an even more ingenious so-

lution to this puzzle, One subject realized

that it wasn’t necessary to draw four
lines through the centers of the dots; it
could be accomplished with only three

lines:

As if that weren't enough, a friend
of Professor James L. Adams of Stanford
provided yet another solution, which
allows all nine dots to be crosed off
with one straight line. All it requires

a little unblocked
ious paper folding:

THE COMPULSIVE SMOKER

Six hours. After having smoked his
five cigarettes, he has another five buts.
which are good for another cigarette.

IN AND OUT LETTERS

The key to this problem lies not in
some complex interrelationship of num-
bers of vowels and consonants but in
the shape of the letters themselves. Let-
ters with st
circle; letters

ight lines belong inside the
with curved lines, outside.

LOOSE ENDS

Most people will see the difficulty as a
shortness of reach. That is, they state
the problem to themselves as; “How
can | get to the second sting?" The
consequence of that is that all the cre
tivity imo vain find
a means of making one of the strings
longer, But the givens of this problem
make such a solution impossible.

If, however, you define the problem
as, “How can the string and I get to-
another sort of solution. may
occur to you. It requires that you see

goes eors to

gethe

the difficulty in terms of getting the

second string to come to you. If you tie
a small object—say a key or a rin

to the end of one string and set it
swinging like a pendulum. then you
can grab it while holding the end of
the other string in the other hand.

THE COLLECTED WORKS

Five inches.

If you had trouble with this one. you
were probably trapped by a habitual way
of visualizing. All our lives. we've been
accustomed to seeing a book in a certain
position—facing us, with the first page
near the lefthand cover and the last
page near the righthand cover, That is
the way we prepare to open a book and
read. But we specified in this probl
that the volumes were on the shelf. Wi
the backs facing you. the order of pages
is reversed

In cr

ive problem solving, it serves
The more famili
the harder it
another context.

well to heed the rule:

the object is to see it in

Shakespeare
Shakespeare
zóhakespeare

THE GREEK CROSS

This problem can be solved only if
you shift one coin to a position on top
of the center coin:

Not fair, you say? Sure it is. There is
nothing in the directions as given that
prevents you from working in more than
two dimensions. In most problems of this
kind, the solution involves sliding the
coins from one position to another. This
problem illustrates how easy it is to read
into а problem constraints that are not
there at all.

А WOMAN'S INGENUITY

As long as you think of the segments
of chain as four sides of a square or seg-
ments of a circle, you can't solve this
problem. The moment you can shift
your focus and regard the segments not
as immutable structures but as stockpiles
of individual links, youve made the

ecessary breakthrough. At the woman's
suggestion, the jeweler placed three seg-
ments in a triangular pattern, took apart
the remaining segment and used those
three links to close the three corners of

Ar 0

J Ww
быз 0

CSS

Most people will need to juggle the
elements visually, drawing them in dif-

ferent arrangements before arriving at
the triangular pattern that leads to a solu
tion. This juggling of the parts of a
problem results in а reorganization—but
before that can happen. you have to feel
free to destroy the original pattern.

NG TRIANGLES.

MATCH

Most participants begin by using three
matches to form one triangle, and then
wy in vain to form three more from the
remaining three matches.

As in the previous problem, this

be solved only by using the third dimen-
sion. Three matches can be used to
build a triangle on the table and the

ith

remaining three to build a pyramid
the initial wiangle as а base.

Lack of flexibility moving from
one dimension to another been dem-
onstrated by several experiments, among
them this simple but ingenious problem-
solving experiment:

A group of individuals was presented.
with the task of extracting а ping-pong
ball from a long and narrow cylinder,
which was bolted to the floor. A great
ty of tools, including a hammer,
pliers, a piece of string and thumbtacks,
а ош. None of these was ap-
plicable for the solution of the prob-
lem. There was, however, also a bucket
of dirty water standing on the floor.
About half of the individuals present.
finally рог the idea that the ping-pong
ball could be extracted by filling the
cylinder with the water.

vari

DRAW YOUR WATCH/
DRAW YOUR STEERING WHEEL

‘These exercises are illustrations of over-
familiarity. It would be difficult to think
of an object most of us look at more
frequently each day than our watch or
steering wheel. We look at them so often
that we cease to really see them.

Whenever becomes auto-
matic, or we take objects for granted,
ме cease to observe them—and observa-
tion is vital to creative problem solving.

behavior

тїїзїх THE BAG

ex
nd put.
had

The golfer reached into his pock
acted а book of matches, lit onc
the flame to the bag. When the ba
burned to ashes, he selected ап iron,
swung and watched the ball roll то the
rim of the hole. Unable to get the ball
away from the paper bag without a
penalty, this golfer was imaginative
enough to recognize that the problem
could be solved by getting the paper
bag away from the ball
The reversal of problems, the purging
itual, accepted or established ways
pout things has brought
many important advances.

KINDRED RELATIONS

2. Blue: 3. Red
Money; 6. Fruit
Sweet; 10. Blind; ,
13. French; 14. Soap: 15. Bird; 16. Chick-
en; 17. Social; 18. Cold; 19. Moon; 20.
Monkey; 21. Hell; 22. Dog; 23. Pi
24. Chicken; 25. Black; 26. Wise; 27. Ві
28. Business; 29. Egg: 30. Evening.

l. Be

BRIDGI

E GAPS

Exam ples:

Star light day long before
Lemon yellow paint house dog
Fire escape fast run scared
Dog tay laundry wash white
Postage stamp foot sore knee
White wash clean face about

eo me.

7. Short fall down cast out

8. Blood test paper white color.

- Light cigarette smoke screen test

10. Blue sky high jump ball

П. Hunt man gun fire house

at house light load саг

13. Sleep sound sour taste bad

14. Concert piano practice teaching
machine

15. Puppy love sick leave home

These series of small, conceptual steps
are examples only, You may have found
different and equally valid steps.

This exercise requires that you iden-
tify the steps you take in an
Some problems requiring a
creative solution consist of a problem
ituation and a goal. The steps toward
reaching the goal are not immedi
apparent and require that you exercise
your creativity. In а way, it is like build-
inga bridge.

WORD CHAINS
Examples:

l. Fite, fine, mine, mint

2. Love, lore, pore, port, part
3. Rise, rite, bite, bate, bath
i. Came, care, cart, dant, dirt
5.

. Hate, rate, rave, cave, cove, love
Find, fine, line, lone, lose

est, neat, meat, mean

Swim, slim, slip, dip

Give, live, like, е, take

Tour, pour, pout, port, sort
Male, pale, pare, pore, wore, word
Miss, mist, mast, cast, case, base
Cake, bake, bale, ball, bill

soar, soap
Pave, pare, part, tart, tort

Wild, mild, mile, mole, more
Book, boot, loot, lost, list

WHAT'S THE DRIFT:

1. The letters EST move from the end
of the initial word one letter to the left
with each subsequent word.

2. The letters AR move from the be-
jal word to the end of
the second word, and then alternately
one letter to the right and one letter to
the left with each subsequent word.

3. The letters TH move [rom the end
and the beginning of the words to the
center.

1. The letters ANT move the same way
as in number two, but in addition, they
have alternately an equal number of let-
б пег following or preceding them:

Antagonism commandant (7)
Cantaloupe dilettante (6)

Phantasm rom

Banter shanty (2

Ante cant (1)

5. The letters RO and OR alternate
and move one letter to the right.

PLAYBOY

216

IN THE NATIONAL. INTEREST

(continued from page 150)

“He poked a Colt into Hassan’s back. ‘If you wish to

stay alive, I advise you to say and do nothing.

299

for the Liberation of the People of Pal-
estine (O.L.P.P.). They were making their
final preparations for a surprise attack
against Israel.

‘ot far ahead, Ori could sce the point
which the rarely used byway imer-
sected the main road. He checked his
watch. Timing was extremely critical. At
what he believed to be precisely the right
1. Ori cut into the honking traffic
" d a check point on the ap-
proach to the chalet. He waved wildly
though apologizing to the driver behind
xard, wearing the same uniform
ul. Ori braked to a
stop and handed his security pass to the
guard.

“Days like this we don't need, brother.”
tried to sound casual. “Is the ge
eral here yet?”
ard looked at Oti, a trace of
crossing his dark face, Опе of
dos reached very slow.
Kalashnikov gun, his colleagues
А few endless sec-

None of your business,” the guard
snapped. But, before he could pursue his
suspicion, he heard the singsong horn of
an approaching black Mercedes. The
ed Он toward the
love quickly. It's Safat!”

amed his stick into first gear
and the armored car resumed its ascent.
Fhe Mercedes did not even bother to
slow down at the check point. From the
back seat, a burly п waved at the
rd, who noticed that he had only

three fingers. Then the Mercedes pro-
ceeded toward the chalet, directly behind
Ori's armored car, Not by coincidence,
Ori had become Safat's advance escort.
The c: 1 did not суеп stop at the
ist check point. Ori mercly lowered his
ndow and shouted, fat, Safat,
The two cars
rolled imo the circular driveway of the
main house and stopped in front of an
arched е nceway. The four Israeli
commandos jumped out of their car and
formed a makeshift honor guard for
Ibrahim and Moussa. who walked
o the house. Safat waved perfunctorily
at the commandos. Ibrahim shot a glance
at Ori. Nothing more. Then, as though
they had been assigned to protect him,
the commandos escorted Safat through a
large foyer to a second-story conference
100m. Ori nodded to a Syrian officer who
guarded a heavy oak double door.
The conference room was crowded
with uniformed officers from vi
Arab countries. Aides in mufti scurried
from one group to another, cam
aché cases and papers. A large map of
the Middle Fast stood on an easel behind
long rectangular table covered with
green felt. Bottles of mineral wa
trays of fr re placed at ni
along cach side of the table. Sa
hands with the leaders of each delega-
ion, showing special deference to Gen-
eral Abdul Hassan, the defense minister
of S:
General На:

w
brother: out of the way!”

fat,

n took his scat at the
ple. The deputy defense

fag

DIQES
Е
с

^m not sure I like the idea of computer dating.”

1 and Libya and
O.LPP. seated
themselves beh respective flags.
The heavy doors were shut and locked.
Two guards stood at attention, flanking
the door. Ori positioned himself opposite
Safat and Ibrahim. One commando stood
about ten feet from Ori. The two others
braced for action.

“Brothers, we are gathered here at a
solemn hour in the history of the Arab
family.” Hassan began reading al-Bakr's
message. “The Zionist entity is planning
а new war of aggression, aided and
abetted by American imperialism. This
is not a new circumstance, and we must
prepare for every eventuality.” Hassan.
continued reading al-Bakr's boilerplate
welcome; and, when he had finished,
with just a trace of disgust, he dropped it
onto the table, Hassan pushed back his
ed both hands on his knees,
each delegation head with de-
liberate care and then boomed: “Broth-
ers, we are here to plan the final details
for a holy war against the Zionists. That
war will start at daw . when
of the
all be

lah's will, and he sl

Most of the men around
the table nodded. Safat, who shared
alBakrs reservatis motionless.
Hass then E a detailed

s for war.
1 completed his st
ment, Ori glanced at his three collea
and quickly at Ibr: Then, with si
footed care, he approached Hassan and
whispered in his

"My name is Ori F
cial I paratroop unit.

rundown of hi
When Hassan h;

ad, head of a spe-
Ori spoke

perfect Arabic. He poked a Colt into
с,

Hassan's back. "If you wish to stay a
I would strongly advise you to say nod
ing, to do nothing, mercly to sit where
you are and watch.” Hasan broke into
an icy sweat.

h of the three remaining com-
had already unsnapped the
є flap of his holster, while trans-
hnikov to his left hand
right hand on the butt of
his electronic dart gun. Each man had a
preassigned primary target. Within the
space of five seconds, three almost inaudi-
ble ripping sounds punctuated the still-
ness of the room. The noise was no more
than that of the sliting open of an
envelope.

Moussa was the first to die, a tit
embedded in the base of his nccl
personal bodyguards of the Ira
Libyan deputy defense ministers seemed
more surprised than injured, Each п
gave a small gasp, clutched at his back
and collapsed.

The first apparent sign of panic in the
room came from Ibrahim, who, with s
prising speed, pushed his own ch:
and, tearing at Jamaal Safats sleeve,
pulled him under the table.

‘The Algerian delegate's bodyguard had

and resting

“Thad just about decided that
photography and I weren't meant
for each other. My pictures were
dull and amateurish, but I figured
that a really good 35mm camera
would be both too complicated
and expensive for me.

“Boy, was I wrong! Luckily,
before I gave up, I talked to a
friend who knows about cameras.
He put his Nikkormat FT3 into.
my hands. Told me how it was
made by the Nikon people, who
make the sophisticated cameras
most professional photographers
use. He showed me how easy it -
was to use . . . took me just.
minutes to get the hang of it. ^
When he mentioned how little it
cost, my mind was made up. The
next day, I went out and bought.
my own Nikkormat FT3.

“Things haven't beenthe — 1
same since. My very first roll of |
(film had the sharp, clear photos \
I'd always hoped for-just about
every shor was perfect. And, once
T started using the camera more
often, I found out what that Nikon
quality and reliability did for me.

“Who would have t.
I could take pictures

“Now I'm taking sports and
wildlife shots with my new Nikkor
telephoto lens, fabulous closeups
with my Nikon extension tubes,
and indoor party. photos with my
Nikon automatic electronic flash.
Next, Гуе got my eye on a Nikkor, ДАЛ
wide angle lens! р

“One of the nicest things |
about this camera is that it grow
with you. There are more than
Nikkor lenses and dozens of

accessories you can. buy
to help you get the
pictures you want",

For details on the Nikkormat ЕТЗ as well
as a schedule for the traveling Nikon

School of Photography, check your lagal
Yellow Pages for the Nikon dealer nearest.
Sou. Ок write for Li]Pat: N A0 to МИ
ra A CINE 11530. Subsidiary
irenreich Photo-Optical т4из Ис
a (in Canada: inglophoto Lid.. PQ.)

PLAYBOY

Whatevery
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should know.

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Thelonger it takes to grow back, the less likely

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again. Which brings us to
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Congratulations. You are
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ex-stubble bum.

managed to rise to his feer; he was fum-
bling for his pistol when he took a dart
in the chest.

"Ehe Israelis seemed to pick their tar-
h casual ease, pivoting slightly
h new si

п of movement

within two paces of where they had
stood. Only one managed to emit а muf-
fled cry before crumpling to the floor.

The Iragi deputy defense minister
reached for a spot just below his right
ear, even as he tried to slide under the
able. His colleagues from Algeria and
Libya remained rooted to their chairs.
The Algerian had n а to place both
hands on top of his head, in a gesture of
surrender, when he, too, was shot in the
neck. The Libyan was the last to die.

Within no more than 60 seconds of effi-
cient slaughter, the Israeli commandos had
killed everyone in the room—with three
exceptions: Salat, Ibrahim and Hassan.

Yankel"—Ori_ pointed at Hassan—
tie up this bastard.” One of the com-
mandos pulled a spool of special cord
from his boot and tied Hassan's feet to
his neck, tightly, arching his back in the
If Hassan tried to move or
etch, he would choke himself to death.

process.
st

“Lie still and say nothing,” Ori warned,
while stuffing his mouth with heavy
gauze. Ori then pounced оп Safat and

218 grabbed him by the collar. “I'd kill you,

100, with great pleasure," Ori рате.
"But, for some reason, my government
wants you to live. You will walk ош of
this room with us and this fat pig of
yours.” Ori grunted at Ibrahim. "My or-
ders are not to kill you, unless L have to.
I am told you аге an intelligent man, a
leader of the Palestinian people. И you
wish 10 remain their leader, you will do
exactly what 1 say. One word, one false
step—you're dead. You understand?" Ori
was gripping his collar so tightly that
Safat felt as though he couldn't. breathe
Salat nodded. “You will leave this build-
ing walking between us. You will get
into your car." Ori shot a glance at Ibra-
him. “You underst Ori punched
him h. Ibrahim doubled up
in pain. "You will drive directly to your
headquarters in Damascus, You will not
look back. We shall be directly behind
you.”

Ori checked the bodies quickly, ma
ing sure all of them were dead. He
kneeled next to Hassan. “Good luck in
the morning, General. We'll be waiting.”

п the stom:

The Israeli commandos rearranged
themselves into an honor guard, sur

him,

rounding Safat and Ibr
the door, quickly
them. A Syrian officer saluted Safat, but
the Palestinian leader paid no attention
to him. Ori returned the salute. Trying
10 affect an unrushed and yet military

iud opened

shutting it behind

appearance, the honor guard walked
down the stairs and into the foyer. Syrian.
troops snapped to attention when they
saw Safat. Ori paused for a moment to
tell а Syrian officer that General. Hassan
ed in detailed discussions and
iot wish to be disturbed. Then, as
though confiding a secret to the officer,
Ori added: “Safat has to retum to Da
mascus, but he has left his chief of in-
ence upstairs. We shall all be back
in about an hour." The officer escorted
Ori's group into the courtyard.

Ori waved for Safat's

ar, while one of

the Isracli commandos rushed to get the
armored car. Safat got into the Mercedes.

along with Ibr and the four œm-
mandos hopped into their car. Slowly,
the two cars pulled away from al-Bakr's
away and headed toward the first
check point on the way down the road
toward Damascus.

The Syrian officer was puzzled. Years
of arch-flattening duty had sharpened his
senses. One question rauled through
his mind: Why had an oflicer of al-Bakr's
special guard bothered to talk to him at
all? That was most unusual. He decided
to check the conference room. From the
outside, everything appeared 10 be nor-

mal But he turned the elaborate iron
knob, just for good measure, and the
door opened. It should have been locked.

He unhooked his pistol and pushed open
the door. He stood in momentary be-
wilderment, still unsure of what had hap-
pened. Then, at the far end of the room,
he spotted. Hassan, lying, as though p;
lyzed, in ап awkward position. He raced
toward him and cut his bonds. Hassan
pulled the gauze out of his mouth. "Stop
them," the defense minister shouted.
“They've kidnaped Safat" The officer,
filled with а mixture of pride and panic,
ran down the stains, screaming out an
alert to all check points.

Without any challenge, however, the
Salat procession had passed through the
fust check point, and then the second.
At that point, the Mercedes began pick-
ing up speed, as it careened down the
mountain road toward Damascus—Ibra-
him, a human shield, spread
fat on the floor of the car; their driver
ignorant of what was happening, rose 10
the occasion by keeping a heavy hand on
his horn and scattering a few peasants
and goats that had somehow managed to
get onto the road.

Ori, meantime, had turned his armored
car off the road—back onto the unpaved
byway that would lead him to the hilltop.
where he hoped the helicopter would be
ing. Within seconds after he turned,
a Syrian guard at the nearest sentry pc
got word of the attack and fired his r
into the ай. He rushed toward a j
that was parked n
at a brisk pace when he saw thr
rearview mirror that he was beii
lowed.

He increased his specd. In the distance,

led over

rby. Ori was driving
gh his
fol-

he saw the helicopter. Its rotors were al-
ady turning. The four commandos
ped out of their car and into the hel-
copter; even before the fourth com-
mando had hit the deck, the helicopter

was airborne, zigzagging into the sky, in
pattern, to the blast of

chinegun fire coming from the pur-
ng Syrians. The Israelis returned. the
fire, but it was merely a reflex action.
They were already out of range.

•

Darius Kane sat at his desk, in his
hotel room, nursing a bleeding knuckle.
He was staring at а mark on the wall
where, in growing frustration, he had
just slammed his fist. He kı i
tively, the moment he
denberg's
and Israeli pencet

his story on Soviet
ion of the O.L.P.P.
would have to wait. Vandenberg had, for
the moment, provided a more pressing al-
ternative. Darius started typing the lead
of a radio report.

NNS News has learned that U. S.
intelligence satellites have picked up
alarming evidence of massive troop
both sides of the
Syrian-Isracli_ border. Secretary of
State Vandenberg is known to be
deeply concemed that war could
break out on the Gol Heights,
possibly within the next 24 hours.

Once Dari an typing, he felt bet-
Ii was the story of the hour, no ques-

1 could,

build-ups on

the “war” story, Darius placed h
New York. When the phone g. he
asked to be connected with a recording
studio. He gave them a voice "level" but
no preliminary comment. It was only
after he had finished that he asked to
with the editor

Tt was Vic Laslo.
rius, guy, that’s a helluva story!
Does anybody else have it?”

“Not to my knowledge.”

Laslo seemed to sense that something
was wrong. "Can I get anyone else for
you?"

“No, thanks, Vic. Just tell TV what
I've got d tell them I'll be in touch a
little later."

Darius hung up quickly. He had been.
concerned that the Israeli censor might
not allow him to complete his reports.
He wasn't far from wrong. The phone
rang again.

"Mr. Kane?
sor's office."

This is the military cen-

“Would you mind telling where you

got the information for your report?”
Yes, 1 would."
Pardon?”
1 L would mind: very much

The Israeli sounded sur
"Well, nice talking with you." Darius

PROTECTS
against sun, wind, м

hung up before the censor could respond.

Tt took less than an hour for Darius’
reports to rebound from NNS Radio
back to Jerusalem. Every wire service in
the U.S. had tried to confirm his story
independently. When they failed,
began quoting NNS.
television were not far behind.

By three o'clock, the Israel
fice, under enormous public pressure, re-
leased а statement confirming hall the
report. Arab forces, the
ceded, were massing on o
Heigl

At 3:30, a limousine carrying the Sec-
ry of State pulled up in front of the
prime minister's ofice. A top-heavy bat-
tery of microphones had been set up.
Vandenberg ignored them and walked
into the hallway and up the stairs that
Jed to the prime minister's office.

Ya'acov Ben Dor greeted him with a
broad smile.
Don't look so glum, Felix. Things
get worse.”

Vandenberg smiled; a tight, profes-
ional smile. "In this part of the world,
Ya'acov, L think there's a law to that
effect.”

Ben Dor drew his colleague into a pri-
Sit down, Felix. Can I get

vate office.
you something?
You can relieve my curiosity. What

you so bloody checrful about?
c given you some cards, Fel

filter end against the glass cov
watch. "Late this mori
Isracli commandos flew си.
1 won't bore you with details, but they
engaged in a degree of . . . select
elimination. The Pentagon would like
that term, don't you think?”

Vandenberg sat as though frozen to his
scat.

"The principal members of the Iraqi,
Algerian and Libyan delegations were
eliminated; but the Syrian defense mn-
ister was spared, and so was Salat. Our
men made it absolutely clear to them
that they, too, could have been killed but
that they were being deliberately spared,
because Isracl wants to prevent war and
tinue moving toward a settlement.
men went in and out without suffer-
single casualty.”

Vandenberg had turned pale with fury.
He was obviously having trouble cor
trolling ic.

"Yowre saying that after giving me
your solemn pledge of twenty-four hours
of negotiating time, you launch an attack

219

PLAYBOY

in the heart of Damascus?" Vandenberg
looked frantically around the room, as
though searching for any vestige of solace
that might help him regain his self-con-
trol. He found none.

"You n all probability destroyed
whatever imal chance [ might
have had of preventing war. How could
you have put me in this position? What
do you imagine that the Arabs will do
now? What cam they do, except attack
you? Their honor's at stake

Ben Dor assumed an air of almost
patronizing formality. “Mr. Secretary.” he
began, “you seem to have overlooked the
fact that we are not totally inexperienced
i h the Arabs. Whose pride
ing about? The Iraqis? The
Even you don't like de
The only ones whose pride
nvolved are the Syr and
of that. I told you that
berately left unharmed.
the word you used? Do

те going
of Israeli com-
rate al-Bakr's

dmit that a ha
ndos was able to pen

STATE F1 Visitors
OTR @ Down @

most tightly guarded home, break up a
meeting that no onc in the world is even

without a single c: ? My God, Fel
they don't even have a scrap of evidence
that we were ever there!”

The Secretary had regained his com-
From what you've told me," he
noted dryly, “the corpses of those people
you—what did you call it, ‘selec
ely eliminated'?—4hosc corpses could

ide some fairly convincing evidence.”
n Dor adapted himself to the change
that

Be
in mood. “I don't believe, Fel
they're about to advertise that.” Re:
his elbows on the desk, the Israeli leaned
toward Vandenberg. “Believe me, they
won't say a word. ГИ even go one step
further. This may be the best possible
time to approach the Arabs for a settle-
ment. Safat knows that he could've been
killed. ALBakr knows that we not only
spared his defense minister but humbled
the most dangerous adversary th:
They won't attack us now, Fel
lost whatever element of surpri
have existed. They know we're on full

YARD LINE C] ҮП» ro 60 FT

“After the game, you damn fools! Wait until
after the game!"

alert; but, even more important, we've
also let them know in unmistakable
terms that we're ready to negotiate, Talk
to them now Go to Damascus and
talk to them.
Vandenberg shook his head.
even know if they'll sce me now

“They'll see you,” Ben Dor said firmly.

"Let me think about it,” responded
Vandenberg. He had already made up
his mind to go.

1 don't

.
Frank Bernardi was stunned at the
news of the raid. His pessimism i
consequences filled the room.
t we have
Vandenberg watched his Undersecre-
tary without expression
“IE we stay here or go back to V
ington, we forfeit any ability to influence
the outcome. The only thing you can do
is go to Damascus, Felix.
Vandenberg issued
proval. "I agree,
from the Syrians?’
"No." scowled Bernardi, “and I don't
think there will be. After all, to them,
it’s got to look as though you knew
bout the whole operation.
“That's what worries me more 1
anything else,” Vandenberg agr
“Even if al-Bakr sees me, how the hell do
I convince hii
this stunt nowledge:
"You don't" Bernardi was crush
throw cushic between his hands.
not going to believe you, anyway. Ben
Dor's got to give you something; a con-
cession, something tangible.”
Vandenberg viewed his friend with
s hope for
оу the

thin smile of ap-
' he said. "Any word yet

on
phone for me, will yc
The conversation was brief and de-
ceptively simple.
. I don't have time to argue
t have time to play game
You're the one who got me into this mess
and youre the one who's going to help
me get out of it. I want your authority
to tell al-Bakr that el is ready to ei
page in a serious West Bank negotia
if he can get Safat to publicly
edge two forty-two and three thirty-
This was a reference to a pair of
United Nations resolutions that, among
other things, confirmed the right of “all
ions in the area” to an independent
xistence. А Safat acknowledgment of
resolutions. 242 and 338 would amount
to an indirect O.L.P.P. recognition of
‘I's "right to exist"—áàn issue that lies
t the core of the Arab-Israeli dispute.
"Not enough, Feli Ben Dor's voice
flat and final.
t the hell do you mean, ‘Not

"Not enough.” He paused, searching
for the right words, “If they want ou
cooperati ed his voice—
you м cooperation, Safat is

our

going to have to get his friends to re-
е the O.L.P.P. covenant that calls for
Israel's destruction, Otherwise, putting
aside my own feeling, there'd be по
chance of getting such an agreement
through the Knesset

“Supposing they just drop the phrase
calling, in effect, for Israel's destruction.
That, plus explicit a of two
forty-two and тсе il
berg was holding his br

Ben Dor rellecied for а few moments
silence. Then, he said, “Felix, we
cli» are modest people. We're not ask-
ing lor the moon.

se, Ya'acov, I also want to be
able to sty that you're willing to accept
Safat as а le
the Pale:
Absolutely not!” Ehe prime n
voice rose in outraged indignation
“You're not
I said a legiti
the.
There was
ister's end

оу.
пог

g 10 ше,
ate representative,

lence at the prin
While the raid aj

Dor had held ап extraordi
of his cabinet, du
vised his colleagues of the attack and
warned that Israel would hive 10 be pre-
pared to make concessions, in the event
that negotiations did materialize
quent 10 the raid. He hi
quested—and he had
authority to proceed csse
lines that Vandenberg h
Ben Dor confided none of this to the
Secretary of Stat

You know what you're asking,

"I do know, Ya'acov, believe me.”

"Even if it works, my opponents will
introduce a no-confidence vote against
me in the Knesset.
1 understand that, but you're
what Israel needs now
man, not just a politi
rt flauering
change my mind."

“I have your permission, the

“My very reluctant permission.”

k you" Vandenberg hung up.

her had once told him, "When

someone gives you what you want, don't

press your luck, Take it and ru
.

By Кис afternoon, Darius’ st
being graphically confirmed. throu
Israel. Military reservists w
nd the small kibbutzim rush-
е duty, hitchhiking rides to
their units. Israeli housewives were stock.
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buyin mbers of the Israeli cab-
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prime min lier in the
now confirming, confidentially, 1
had been ordered not to return to their
offices ii l Aviv but to stay close to the
Knesset in the event of an emergency

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221

PLAYBOY

meeting. There was an almost palpable
air of crisis.

At seven Pt, a grim-faced prime min-
ister appeared. unexpectedly at the King
David Hotel. He refused to talk with
reporters, but he did deliver a short,
ominous speech to a largely American
gathering of the United Jewish Appeal.
Ben Dor, speaking in English, said,
1 always has and will continue to
exercise restraint in the face of provoca-
tion; but it would be a tragic miscalcu-
lation if anyone were to confuse restraint
with the y to act. The gov
ment of Isracl does not seck confront
tion, but neither will it shrink from
Israel is dependent on the help of others;
bur our course of action will never be
controlled by that dependency. We have
the strength and the daring to inflict a
crushing defeat on anyone who plans ог
tries to y out our destructi:

The speech, though delivered in a fl
monotone, brought the audience to its
feet. The applause continued even after
the prime minister left the hotel.

At eight PaM., Darius was just about to
leave the hotel himself, on his way to the
satellite facilities in Hertseliya, when
spokesman Carl Ellis cornered him in the
lobby. “The Secretary's flying to Damas-

cus tonight.

“What time?”

“The press buses leave here in half an
hour.”

Darius ed back to his room and

led Jerry Blumer at the National News
€ office at Hertseliya. “Jerry? Now,
t interrupt me and just listen. Гуе
gor to leave here in just a few minutes.

ndenberg's going to Damascus tonight.
ТИ need a crew at the airport. Did you
hear about Ben Dor's speech?”

“Yeah. Kol Yisrael carried it liv

“All right. We've got that on film.
Now, I suggest we handle the story this
жау. We can use the film you've got of
the reservists hitchhiking to their units.
We've got some good footage here of
housewives and. panic buying. I'm going
to start voice-over with the same stuff I
used on my radio spots—the satellite in-
telligence material. Cover that any way
you can, Then the reservists, then the
housewives. Then we go to a big chunk
of Ben Dor, here, this eve: nd РИ
do an oncamera close at the airport, IE
you want to, you can cover part of that
with the Vandenberg departure footage.
Any problem?”

“No. ГИ see you at Ben Gurion.”

By 9:15 вм. the newsmen arrived at
the airport. By 9:30, Darius had filmed
his oncamera close, twice, and recorded
his three radio spots. He was
hand Blumer copies of all his scripts,
when a small black-and-white Israeli po-
lice car, Mashing a blue light on its dome,
led the Vandenberg motorcade to the
side of the Secretary's waiting Bocing
707. "There was no departure statement,
a pro forma wave in the dire
tion of the cameras. Vandenberg got out
of his limousine and strode purposefully
up the front steps of his aircraft.

"There was no briefing on the fight to
scu;

bout to

not сус

.
Syrian president al-Bakr thumbed an
endless succession of amber worry beads

“I couldn't resist her, dear. She
reminded me so much of you."

across his forefinger, past the palm of his
right hand. He had accorded the proper
protocol to the Secretary of State, but
there was not suggestion of

n
/andenberg had the uneasy
feeling tha n subtleties, shad
nuances eluded the man and therefore
evaporated, without ever reaching the
Syrian president. Vandenberg, believing
that diplomatic flexibility decreases
direct ratio to the number of people

г meet alone. The
however, had insisted
is foreign minister join them; and
ndenberg had included Bernardi,

too.
Al-Bakr seemed to be in а sour mood.
"There is only one issue to be dis

cussed: gression.” The int
preter reduced the Arabic to меповтарв
notes and repeated the sentiment, flatly
in English. It was the third time in less
than ten minutes that al-Bakr had re-
turned to the same theme.
President,” retorted Vandenberg,
nimize the gravity of the sit-
But unless both sides аге pre-
d to ex t, simple
лета will carry us into a war, the con-
nces of which impossible to
anticipate, t D think we can
confidently predict that it will bring un-
told anguish to all peoples of the М
Eas

Vandenberg felt it was time to break
the cycle of platitudes. “Mr. President.
What I'm about to say carries with it the
risk of grave misunderstanding; and I'm
sure you'll believe me when I say that Е
do not lightly violate diplomatic con-
fidences, However, I think it's vitally im-
portant аг we grasp the opportunities
as well as the obvions dangers of the

cise utmost rest

current situation,
The progres of the worry beads was
momentarily stalled.

“During the past few hours, acting un-
der instructions from my President, I
have communicated with the leaders of
the Soviet Union. We have proposed an
immediate and total halt of arms ship-
ments from the United States to Israel,
against the assurance of a similar halt in
Soviet war supplies to Syria.”

‘The proposal had, in fact, been tacked
to the end of a blistering cable that
Vandenberg had sent to the Kremlin
ly that morning, There was litle or
no chance that the Soviets would even
respond. "The Secretary did not expect
al-Bakr to be favorably impressed, either,
but he wanted to underscore the prob-
ability that if war broke out, America’s
role as a mediator would be finished. The
Arab world would fall, once again, into
the Soviet orbit. Israel, with U.S. back
ing, would oppose them. Since al-Bak

had, in recent months, thrown his per-
sonal influence behind policy of mod-
eration, such polarization was not, for
him, a promising prospect

“Our actions, Mr. Secretary, as you
well know, have always been those of an
independent nation. While we value the
support of our Socialist friends, we pur-
sue our own policy—if I may say so,
sometimes with the encouragement of
parties who are not always able to live
up to their commitments.” The U.S.
Congress had yet to authorize all the
economic aid that Vandenberg had
pledged to al-Bakr seven months earlier.
“Also, it is my impression that И
crosity to Isracl has been at such а
traordinary level for so long that their
capacity to wage war would hardly be
affected by a temporary break in the sup
ply line.” Al-Bakr paused before adding,
“Even if the American Congress were to
permit such an interruption.”

The meeting was not going well. AL
Bakr's tone was getting angrier. Ве

nardi
leaned over to Vandenberg and suggested
a 15-minute break.

The Syrian president, inclining his
head politely, placed his right hand over
his heart. If his guests required a short
rest, then, of course, they would take a
br

Vandenberg and Bernardi walked out
of the conference room, down a flight of

stairs and outside into the garden. The
Secretary of State was depre: most
morose. "We're getting nowhere, Frank.
Maybe we should just pack up.” They

walked in figure cights around the rose
bushes. “I think I'm going to tell al-Bakr
that I feel my usefulness has been ex-
hausted. If I put Ben Dors proposal be-
fore him now, he'll piss all over it. He's
not in a mood to negotiate."

Bernardi had been exposed to the Sec-
retary's fluctuating moods on more than
one occasion. He brushed aside Vanden-
berg’s pessimism. “You're only reacting
to what he said, Felix. Did you hear what
he didn’t say?” Bernardi didn't wait for
an answer. “He didn't even mention the
Israeli raid." He smiled. “Ben Dor was
right. He’s not going to bring it up. Give
him something to salve his pride, Felix,
and ł think the man's ready to deal.”

‘They continued walking through the
garden, almost brushing shoulders, their
voices lowered. Vandenberg had his
hands clasped behind his back. "It's pos-
sible,” he conceded. "You could be
right." Vandenberg's voice had taken on
a faintly more optimistic tone. "I don't
have to let him know that Ben Dor's
proposal is firm. I could raise it as a
possibility."

"Exactly."

“And if he doesn't bite?”

“You can still Uneaten to leave the
атса.

I'm not very hopeful, Frank.”

Bernardi placed a big hand protective-
ly around his friend's shoulder. "You

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PLAYBOY

224

never are, Felix. Lers go upstairs."

They returned to an empty conference
room. ALBakr had left, as had the inter-
preter and the forcign minister. The
Secretary and the Undersecretary of State
sat down and waited. Several minutes
passed before а young man. whom they
both recognized as a mid-level function-
ary of the Syrian foreign ministry, en-
tered. “The president asked if you would.

1-Поог dining room. He
eflusive now as he had

Mr. Secretary!” He
asure in the look of sur-
ily, had crossed the

had been arrayed

E
E
Е

splendid
on a long wooden table: but standing
before the table, almost in a receiving
line, were the Syrian defense ministe
Abdul Hassan, the foreign minister, who
had participated in the earlier meeting,
the chairman of the O.L.P.P., Jamaal
Safat, and his chief of operations, Ibra-
him cl-Haj.

believe you know all of my
brothers." AlBakr was enjoying
scene.

Vandenberg was still somewhat non-
plused, but he walked down the line,
regaining a little of his composure with
cach handshake. By the time he reached
Salat, he even permitted himself а warm
smile, grasped the Palestinian's elbow
firmly with his left hand, enclosing
far's hand with the other. Then.
holding Safat’s elbow, Vandenberg tu
toward the table and a huge roas
which occupied center stage. "Wi
of the lamb should I talk into?"

‘There was a burst of nervous laughter.

During the meal, Vandenberg made a
of small talk, waiting for the
| presidents move. When at
in the conversa
picked up his water glass.
would like to propose a toast.
some time now, with the help of our
inexhaustible friend"—he nodded in Van
denbergs direction—“and his disi
guished predecessor, we have been moving
slowly, bur gradually, in the direction of
a just and |.
East, We have long known that а final
settlement would not be possible unless it
took into account the legitimate interests
of the Palestinian people. This issue has
been too long deferred and the wholly
justifiable indignation of our Palestinian
brothers has been too long contained.
We crossroad; and we may not
pass this way again. If we fail in our
«Шоп» to achieve political ends by poli
ical means, the alternative is obviou
The alternative is war, and ма
gedy for mankind. The tragedy may

be unavoidable, but we owe it to his
tory—to our children and to our chil-
dren's children—to summon up every
last remnant of good will that 15 within
us, before the dogs of war, which eve
now are restrained by nothing more than
threads, are finally and irrevocably un-
leashed.”

It was а remarkably moderate state
ment, which all but begged Vandenberg
to prevent a new war. It was the kind of
opportunity for which the Secretary of
State had heen silently praying. ALBakr
g him to deal directly with

President, Chairman Safat, di:
Vandenberg be-
speaking very slowly. ry
confrontation has, within it, the seeds of
opporumity. Wars are not begun because
of events but because of the
Ability of men to perceive the nature
of ‘the opportunity inherent in those
ats. Ш war. which has already broug
so much suffering to all the peoples of
this region, is avoided, it will be because
of the vision of statesmen like you, Mr.
President.

“Those of us whom histo!
to play the role of intermed
only in the context of leaders whose per-

ceptions transcend the facile solutions of
brute force.”
Vandenberg turned slightly, as he said

those last words, so that he
Safat.

“We stand ready to lend our support
to all those who favor peaceful soluti
and the United States will always exert
its influence in that direction. І propose
a toast, therefore, to the vision of Pres
ident al-Bakr and the courage of those
who are prepared to join with him in the
search for t and lasting p

as facing

withdrew silently from the room, Only
the interpreter, Safat, Ibrahim and the
two Americans remained behind.
Vandenberg was more tli Tittle di:
comfited by the presence of Ibrahim,
knowing that every word of his conversa-
tion with Safat would be transmitted
back to the Israeli government. but he
proceeded, nevertheless,
perception of Israeli thin
ulous care.
jor roadblock came dur
long discussion of a single word:
afat had been expounding his views.
The Arab summit conference of 1974,
at Rabat, the
legitimate representative of the Palest
im people. Since the O.L.P.P. now oc
s the role among the Palestinian
people once held by the P.L.O., I, Ja
l Safat, am the rightful inheritor of
that responsibility. If | agree to accept
UN resolutions two. forty-two and three

their

accept my leadership of the Palestinian
people.”

Vandenberg felt seriously inhibited by
the presence of Ibrahim. “Frank.” he
id, turning to his Undersecretary of
tate, “I think you and Mr. eLHaj
should examine the question of how
we're going to implement this exchange
of understandings.”

Bernardi understood immediatel
rose to his feet, but Ibrahim т
seated. Safat nodded to his deputy.

"It's premature," whispered Ibrahim
in Arabic. “There is no understanding
yet."

“Go with hi

Ibrahim looked sullen,
plied.

Safat gripped both arms of his cha
а show of mock apprehension. “Am I 10
be subjected now to the full force of the
Secretary’s renowned persuasive powers?"
andenberg smiled deferentially.
m what Гуе heard, the chairman's
powers of resistance are certainly mor
than equal to the challenge. However,
he added quickly, “my powers of p
sion have been grossly exaggerated, И I
have any abilities in this field at all, they
lie in the capacity to find areas of cc
For

." Tt was an order.
but he com-

mon understanding and interest.
example, in our first meeting, you im-

pressed me with your conviction thar the
O.LP.P. would benefit from recognition
by the United States Government. As 1
indicated to you then, and I repeat now,
that would be feasible only after the
P. conceded Israel's right to exist.
ng, therefore, would
ascend the importance of one

п to interrupt, but Vanden-
berg overrode his objections, "Especial-
ly... especially since the perception of
reality is sometimes far more important

by the United States, which could flow
out of this agreement, would confer upon
Mr. Ch: the last remaining
rm
that
exists in being ‘a’ representative or ‘the’
representative of the Palestinian people:
nor would I insult your intelligence by
suggesting that the Israeli government
would prefer to deal with another
representative. Bur, if you'll forgive me
for being blunt, Mr. Chairman, t is
y an internal Arab problem. You've
pointed out, quite correctly, that the
nee of 1971 indirectly con-
veyed to you the authority to speak on
behalf of the Palestinian people. You
either retain that authority or you don't.
The United States can neither confer it
upon you nor take it away. If the Arab
world regards you as ‘the’ legitimate
spokesman for the Palestinians, then yo
е. И, on the other hand, the Arab
world believes thar you must share that
authority, then you will share it. What
(continued on page 228)

not

"I'm a lawyer. If you have a loophole, I'll find it."

225

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228

IN THE NATIONAL. INTEREST

(continued from page 221)

“He was engaged, almost singlehandedly, in nudging
the Middle East back from the brink of war.”

you will have to consider, Mr. Chairman,
is whether your position will be under-
ained « ced by an additional de-
1 legitimacy
Safat sat, tugging thoughtfully on a
ragged tuft of hair. "And how," he asked
inally, “does the United States view King
Mohammed's role?

айтпап, ultimately,
р question. Gertain-
1 stages of contact between
the O.L.P.P. and the Isr:
hammed may pla
But, I repeat, eventually, the question
of who represents the Pa 1 people
will have to be resolved by the Arab
world. That discussion premature.”

“I think,” Safat said slowly, “that you
are somewhat too modest, Mr. Secretary,
in your assessment of American influ-

ence. Whom will Washington b:
this matte;
“The question,” Vandenberg repeated,
s premature. It depends on far too
тапу variables. In the course of the next
few years, Jordan and the O.L.P.P. will
create their own realities. The United
States is not inflexible. We adjust to

ck in

changing world. Look at China, look at
„ Cuba, Syria.”
Why should І trust you?” Safat

ning to yield. He needed one more
entle push, one more measure of ei
couragement.
"m not asking for your trust, Mr
Chairman. Fm asking you to make a
cold, clinical evaluation of the world, of
your own interests, as you see them. By
becoming a recognized participant т
future negotiations, do you damage your
position or enhance it? That’s the issue;
and only you can decide it.

Safat sat silently for a few minutes. "Is
that all?” he asked finall

I would be less
tise one

ndid with you if I didn't
more poini

“And that would be what?"

“That would be droppi
phrase from the covenant of the O.L.P.P.”
Vandenberg paused. "I would have hes-
ed even to raise the issue, if it had
ted to me that you were al
going 10 consider it at the next
ng of your National Council.” The
Secretary was smiling.

"It is too late to engage in games, Mr.
ndenberg. Your intelligence is extraor-
riy good. That has already been
decided, as you indicated, bur I must tell
you now that we have no intention of
substituting any explicit recognition of
Israel.” Safat looked at Vandenberg.

“Certainly, not now.”
Nor would I expect you to.” Vanden-
berg barely missed a beat. “Now.”

The silence that followed must have
lasted several minutes, but neither man
moved or spoke. Finally, Safat stood and
stended his hand to the Secret of
State. Vandenberg took the Palestinian's
hand. One of the most troublesome log
jams in the Middle East had cracked.

“I think,” suggested Vandenberg, “that
we should us,
don't you
Safat nodded.

It was four o'dock in the morning by
the time the fi
concluded. Safat would return to Beirut,
where, later that morning, he was sche
interview to the British
g tion. In the course
interview, which was to be re-
leased at noon, he would reveal the
O.L.P.P.s willingness to recognize UN
resolutions 242 and 338. He would say
nothing at that time about changes in
the covenant. Ar the same time, he would
announce his understanding that the
Israeli government was prepared to ree
ognize him as “a legitimate represent
tive of the Palestinian people.” That
announcement would be confirmed by
Israeli prime minister Ben Dor. At noon,
precisely, the governments of Isracl and
Syria would announce the simultaneous
easing of the alert starus of their troops.
Secretary Vandenberg would then
nounce the impending release of an im-
portant statement by the White House at
eight A.M, Eastern standard time. The
Washington statement would
guarantee of all the under
ndings reached by the Syrians, the Is-
rachis and the O.L.P.P. The United
States would also announce, for the first
time, that the U.S. Government was it-
self giving serious consideration to rec-
ognizing Jamaal Safar as "a legitimate
representative of the Palestinian peopl
By six р.м. Middle Eastern time, the
governments of Israel and Syria would
begin pulling back their forces along the
n front.

The subject of the Israeli commando
raid on Damascus the previous day was
never broached.

During the night, Darius had obtained.
from his Armenian cameraman, whose
sources were legion and frequently re
liable, some tantalizing pieces of infor-
mation. The previous d.
learned, there had been ei
tempted coup or an Israel
Damascus, The sources differed on that

Key point. They agreed, however, that
there had been casualties at President al-
Bakr's mountain hides у. Several am-
bulances had been seen leaving the area
nd there had been an exchange of gun-
the out cus. Darius
had struggled, for much of the night, to
put that information into the larger con
text of his knowledge. Shortly before
three, though, he, too, had fallen asleep.

When it came time to leave for Tel
Aviv, Darius little surprised at the
haste. Fifteen mi ad the
other reporters h: 4 at the airport,
пе arrived, pulling
up so tightly to the front ramp of the
ft that no questioning was possible.
three minutes, they were air-
nd, again, there was no briefing
the plane.

It was not quite six o'clock in the
morning when the Secretary's plane tax-
ied ло a halt in front of the main

at Ben Gurion Airport. Vanden-
berg had slept exactly two hours out of
the past 48, and it was beginning to
show. He stood for a moment at the head.
of the EL Al ramp, took a deep breath of
air and picked his way slowly down the
stairway and toward the knot of Israeli
officials and security men who awaited
him on the tarmac.

A crowd of Israeli and foreign jour-
nalists was trapped in a distant press en-
closure, shouting questions—to no avail.
The traveling newsmen tried to hear
snatches of conversation benween. Van-
denberg and the Ta nisters who
had come to welcome him.

Darius walked toward the Secretary's
limousine. He approached one of the
agents. "Which side is he get

“Right here," murmured the
Darius intercepted the Secretary some
ten feet from the car, falling into stride
with him. "Congratulations," he said
quictly.

Vandenberg hesitated for only an in-
stant, looking at Darius with the trace of
а smile. "One of these days, Kane. Tm
going to tell you about these last forty-
eight hours.”

“Tm glad you got it"

Vandenberg made no effort ю dis-

credit Darius’ assumption of success; but
just before he got into the car, he
warned, "Don't go overboard, yet. I still
have to talk to Ben Dor.”
When do you do t
As soon а
"Then, just as the door was closing, Van-
спрега leaned forward in his scat. "I
want to see you for a couple of minutes,
after I talk to Ben Dor."

Darius knew what was uoubling the
The man's power to concen-
a wide variety of problems,
usly, was extraordinary, He
was still engaged in the process of nudg-

tate on

ing the Middle East almost single-
handedly back from the brink of war, but
one small part of his brain was still

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occupied with Darius’ story about the
O.L.P.P. penetrations. Darius shook his
head in grudging admiration.
.
Ben Dor was solicitous. "You're tired,”
he observed, helping Vandenberg off

PLAYBOY

remarked. the Secretary of
‚ heading for the prime mini:
study.

Ben Dor poured two cups of coffe
pushed a plate of buns across his desk.
one. Esther made them herself.”
denberg reached first for the coffee.
began the prime minister, “how

“I thought you'd know already.” Van-
denberg looked up with a slightly nrali-
cious smile. He knew that there was little
chance that the Israeli agent could have
summarized and transmitted the sub-
ance of the all-night meeting in the
brief time that had elapsed.

Ben Dor pouted. “No.
doesn’t go."

Vandenberg reached for a bun; he
took a large bite. “In that case, I feel a
little better. 1 don’t like to bore you with
ale news."

Ben Dor tapped impatiendy on hi
desk with a lener opener. "Come on,
Felix. Don't play games with me."

/andenberg rubbed his сусу wi
Jl right. It went well. ГИ tell you the
rt you'll like least first. Г finessed your
gent our of the room during the key
part of my conversation with Safat, He
ay be a first-rate spy, but 1 don’t know
how much he understands about diplo-
matic language. 1 didn’t want him foul-
ing things up at the last minute.”

Ben Dor shook his head from side to
ic. "I'm not so sure how well 1 und
id your diplomatic language, either.
"You understand it, Ya'acov, better
n anyone. Е had to convince Safat tha
he was only ‘a’ legitimate. representative.
1 told him that’s all that you or we could
accept and if he wants any kind of rec-
ion from either one of u—”
ndenberg hadn't really expected to
st Ben Dor that easily, but the

That fast it

тепсе. “Wait a minute. When did U.S.

recognition become a part of the d

"I didn't promise him recognition. I
promised him a s
Wh

atement from the
e House this afiernoon, if every-

ig else goes according to plan, saying

that the U.S. Government is giving se-
rious consideration to recognizing Safat
te representative of the Pal-
estinian people.”

“You had no right to go that far,

smiled. solicitousl
acov. My old and dear friend, Ya’:
For years now, we have withheld recog:
on from the ОЛ.Р.Р. on the specific

grounds that they persistently refused to
230 recognize your right to exist. Now, if

everything goes according to plan, Safat
going to make that policy shift public
during a BBC interview about three and
а half hours from now. If he doesn't do
it, there won't be any announcement;
but, for God's sake, Ya'acov, you can't
expect the United States Government to
take a more rigid posture toward the
O.L.P-P. than your government does.

Ben Dor conceded the point, reluctant-
ly. "You still shouldn't have done it
without. discussin, with me. What
about the rest of i

Vandenberg ran his hand briskly over
the rough stubble on his face. “The quid
fro quo for the BBC interview is that
you make a similar announcement, any
мау you sec fit, that you're prep

two and three thirty-cight. Unless you
have some other preference, you may
want to leak it to Kane. IIl keep him
off the penetration story, until I have a

chance to talk to him again.” Vanden-
berg paused. "And, by the way, he con-
ready know about the
O.L.P.P. changing its covenant again.”
Ben Dor nodded. “What about the
Arab army on the Golan?

Twelve noon. You and al-Bakr will
release a simultaneous statement that the
alert is being lifted and the troops on
both sides are being pulled back.

Ben Dor leaned back in his chair. “It
scems you've done it, F Mazeltoy!"

Vandenberg gave an audible sigh of
relief and dropped the bun he'd been
holding onto the floor.

Eight-fifteen a.m. The lobby of the
King David Hotel was jammed with
tourists, security men, reporters, camera-
men and a dozen or so members of the
hotel staff. Jerusalem continued to be
pped by war fever. There had been no
ndication from any quarter that there
grounds for relaxation. An expect-
ant hush enveloped the lobby as Secre-
Jandenberg passed through the
entrance. Everyone had been
pushed unceremoniously behind the rec-
lar boxes of plastic plants and the
entranceway in front of the registration
desk was empty- A dozen handheld
floodlights bathed Vandenberg and his se-
curity escort in a harsh brilliance. Lines
of fatigue were etched on the Secretary's
face and he seemed, literally, to have
trouble walking. He ignored everyone.
Darius was waiting on the sixth floor,
ar the elevator.

"You're going to have to wait a few
minutes,” Vandenberg grunted, as he
moved toward his suite. He turned, try-
ng to see past his security det k,
I want you with me."

As he entered the room, Vandenberg
swipped off his jacket, tie and shirt,
flinging them onto a chair. He turned
abruptly, motioning Bernardi to him into
the bathroom. “First thing we've got to

do is cable al-Bakr and Safat. Repeat the
details of the understanding and tell
them Ben Dor agrees on all counts.” Van-
denberg started to shave. “What time is
it in Washington now?"

Bernardi calculated.
thirty in the morning.

‘Well, that's too goddamn bad. If I
can't sleep, why the hell should they?
Get Stewart and the President for me

The conversation turned
brief but warmly cordial on the Presi-
dent’s part. First. Vandenberg sketched
out the terms of the agreement he had
reached with the Arabs and the Israelis.
He said that, if the President approved,
he'd dictate a rough draft of a statement
—for release the next morning.

“When I heard you were calling,” the
President said, “I thought we might be
going to war—now I'm damned pleased
that it worked out so well. І have no qu
ns. You're to be congratulated, Felix.

After he'd dictated the draft to the
National Security Advisor, Vandenberg
collapsed on a couch. “Go and get a few.
how he said to Bernardi, “and,
by the way, you might send Kane in.”
ndenberg made no effort to conceal
his own exhaustion as Darius entered the
suite. “You can imagine.” Vandenberg
droned, "how eager Г am to engage in a
protracted discussion of First Amend-
ment guarantees; but before 1 take my
allotted hours sleep for the night, I
wanted to determine whether the N
al News Service can survive the deferral
of another маг.

Darius grinned. "Ies a good thing
you're tired. I was afraid you might in-
dulge in some hyperbole.

The Secretary pushed out his lower
lip. thoughtfully ll me what you
think you've got

Darius saw that there was to be no fui
ther bantering. It was time to lay out
everything he knew and, where possible,
to fill in the gaps with educated guesses.
“АП right. Mr. Secretary. Let's take it
1 order. I don't know whether the Rus-
ns initiated the kidnaping of your
wife, but I am sure that one of Safat's
top lieutenants is a Soviet agent. So at
least they knew about it and played a
key role in it In any event, they've
tried to make the most of it by under-
mining, in fact, by uying to destroy,
your role here in the negotiating process.

"For the longest time, 1 couldn't un
derstand the Israeli connection in all of
this, Nothing Ben Dor's done these past
several days has made much sense. For
a while, I thought the Russian agent
might even be an Israeli, or vice ver
some kind of double agent. But now
I'm convinced that there have been at
least two highlevel penetrations of the
O.L.P.P. The Israelis have got a man
there, too. Just what part he played
п your wife's kidnaping, 1 don't know,
“Now, just twelve hours ago, every-
thing here spelled war. You spend the

“One-

quickly.

out to be

SQUE

МЎ

"Why aren't you out there protecting
us from evildoers, young man?"

231

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night in Damascus and the whole pic
ture's been turned around. Why?" Darius
answered his own question. "I can think
of two reasons. I know that there was
some kind of military operation in Da-
mascus yesterday, before you ed. И
it was a coup ‚ it had to be un-
successful. If al-Bakr hid
thrown, you wouldn't
now. But Im more indined to

think

that the Israelis pulled one of their John

ne stunts. They've got a man on the
inside; so if there was a war-council meet-
ing of the Rejectionist Front—and they're
the only ones who'd really be pushing
d for a military showdown these
—the Israelis would have known

p. I

Darius was waiting for some kind of
reaction from Vandenberg, but the Sec
retary of State hadn't moved.

in that context," Darius contin-

ued, “you fly into Damascus and meet
with al-Bakr and Safat. You blow the
Soviet agent's cover and deliver some

kind of conciliatory message from the Is-
raclis. kr figures he's néver

10 be in a stronger position domestica
and puts the arm on Safat” Darius
paused again, but there was still no re-
action. “That's it,” he added.

Vandenberg stared blankly at Darius
for a long moment, struggling to under-
stand how the reporter could have con-
structed а scenario so dose ro reality.
Finally, he responded, in a voice heavy
h gloom, "Don't you think we have
enough problems already?

“You're not denying any of it:

Vandenberg exploded. “For Chrissake,
Darius, you don't really believe that I'm
going 10 respond point by point to that
patchwork of speculation and hypothesis,
do you?" Lowering his voice, the Secre-
tary confided, "Look, you're right about

one thing. Were on the verge of a his-
t few

toric agreement. Within the
hours, the Israelis and the O.
going to announce a modified re
of cach other; and that’s going to be
followed by an immediate pullback of
forces along the Golan border. Now, I'm
telling you this, off the record, to impress
upon you the incalculable harm
could do with your exploration of the
dark corners of rumors about raids
per there В
some outer limit where the requirements
of a free pres are subordinated to m:
ters of peace and war.”

Darius could feel a tightness in his
chest. “ГИ hold the story, Mr. Secretary,
but I won't kill i

Vandenberg 5 h exhaustion
and exasperation. "I'm too tired to argue
now, Darius. Just promise me, before you

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233

PLAYBOY

234

write anything about what we've dis-
cussed, that you'll talk to me again,’

Darius gave the pledge reluctantly.
“All right,” he frowned. "What about
the O.L.P.P-Israeli recognition story?
When can I usc it?"

Vandenberg picked up the phone, de-
pressing a button that connected him
with one of his secretaries. "Get the prime
minister for me.”

He replaced the receiver. “І don't
know how you feel about being involved
ince Safar is making
end of the announcement in a BBC in-
terview, I suggested to Ben Dor that he
might want to deliver his part through
NNS:

The buzzer on the phone interrupted
the conversation.

“Ya'acov? Гуе got Darius Kane here
with me." Ben Dor seemed to be raising
somc kind of objection.

Чо, of course,” Vandenberg con-
curred. “It would have to be on a ‘hold
for release’ basis for noon.” The Secre-
ry looked at Darius, who nodded his
greement. “I'll put him on,”

Darius found himself, five minutes
later, standing in front of the elevator
outside the Secretary’s suite, in a state
of utter confusion. On the one hand, he
had, scribbled in his notebook, the text
of an extraordinary Israeli announce-
ment. Despite the qualified nature of the

language, the Israeli prime minister had
acknowledged his archfoe, Jamaal Saat,
as “a representative of the Palestinian

people. us alone had just been

handed one of the major stories of the

year. On the other hand, he recognized

that he was being used as an instrument

of highstakes diplomacy.
“Screw it"

,'" he muttered to himself.
“What the hell's the difference if he
gives it to me alone or announces it at
a press conference?" There was a differ-
ence, though, and Darius knew it. By
limiting the announcement to a single
news agency—and a foreign one, at
that—Ben Dor had retained a margin of
deniability, in the event that anything
soured in the interim. Furthermore, Van-
denberg had, once again, maneuvered
him into a position where the story of
the penetration and the raid would have
to be deferred for at least a few more
hours, Darius Kane felt dirty, resentful,
and yet excited.

.
"The satellite report had gone smoothly.
“Piece о’ cake," was Blumer's verdict,

though his screams had echoed through-

out the building when it appeared for a

while, earlier in the evening, that film of

the defense minister had been misplaced.
Darius had discovered long ago that the
big stories are generally the casiest to do.

Besides, there were no late developments.
By seven ndenberg

had emerged from the prime minister's

office, exuding 2 sense of accomplish-
ment and satisfa

"I will,” Vandenberg had told the
crowd of waiting reporters
ing to Washington tomorrow morning.

Immediately upon my retum, ГИ be

“I think you're being silly. Would
you like it better if I was thinking of you
and sleeping with Robert Redford?”

meeting with President Abbott. It's pos-
sible that I will be back here in the
Middle East in two weeks, to engage in
more intensive search for a west-bank
settlement, based on the O.L.P.P.'s ас
ceptance of resolutions two forty-two and
three thirty-eight and the decision of the
Israeli cabinet to allow me to proceed
on that basis.

With that piece of film securely in
hand, Darius had reached Hertseliya be-
fore 8:30 and he had been able to spend
more than three hours composing his
report.

Now it was approaching two o'clock in
the morning and Darius had passed be-
yond simple exhaustion. As his car eased

nto the King David driveway, Darius
wanted nothing more than an uninter-
rupted half hour, soaking in a hot tub.

The lobby was empty. The bar was
closed. Darius took the elevator to the
fourth floor, unlocked the door to his
room and stepped over a pile of messages
and communiqués that had been gather-
ing since late afternoon. He was tempted
to ignore them all. He had already
stripped down to his shorts and was mak-
ing his way into the bathroom when he
gathered up the harvest of paper, glanc-
ing quickly at one shect after another.
Then he found the message from one of
Vandenberg's secretaries. "Come up to the
Secretary's suite whenever you retum.”
The word whenever was underlined.

Darius closed his eyes. He didn't feel
up to another confrontation with Van-
denberg; but he knew that one was
avoidable.

At twothirty, after a quick cold show-
er, he was once again escorted into the
Secretary's suite.

Vandenberg was sanding by the w|
dow, holding a glass of soda water. He
motioned in the direction of the bar.
“Help yourself

Darius poured himself a glass of ginger
ale before joining the Secretary. "It's an
impressive sight, even at night.” He in-
clined his head in the general direction
of the Old Ci

Vandenberg's manner was
pied; his expression,
ironic, isn’t it?”

“What's that, sir?"
on the verge of reaching a
breakthrough of almost inconceivable
proportions between the Arabs and the
Israel d the whole thing may be
jeopardized by the naure of our own
adversary system.

Darius tried to find a suitable response
but couldn't; a brief period of silence
followed.

“L can't argue this with you
Im р Б to understand it.
Perhaps you can explai

"Aren't you being just a little disin-
genuous, Mr. Secretar

Vandenberg turned on Darius without
anger. "No. I'm absolutely serious. I
know that you, and several of your

preoccu-
mournful. “It's

Darius.

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plain how the cause of democracy
destroying the only
ce that the Middle

p
st has known."
Darius was feeling dizzy with
"I'm sorry, Mr. Secretary, but it isn't a
journalists duty to weigh the conse-
quences of a story he writes—only to
judge its accuracy. Even if you convinced
me you wae right in this case, it would
be irrelevant to the general rule."
"I'm sure you don't expect me to be-
ісус that по reporter has ever compro-
niscd his ideals and broken the rule”
Vandenberg said. “Then why do we have
10 be so hypothetical? И you broadcast
а story saying that the Russians and
the Israelis have planted agents in the
O.L.P.P/s upper echelon, what do you
nk Safat's chance for survival would

ged to
. do you seriously be-
ble to conduct а pol-
icy of moderation toward Israel? And if
there were an Israeli ag n the
O.L.P.P., how long do you think that
man would go on living after you broad-
cast your story

1 head was throbbing. He pur
down his glass on the window ledge and
leaned against the back of a chair.

Vandenberg apparently decided that
he had pressed his argument to maxi-
mum advantage, “I can't tell you what to
write and what to withhold; but, pl
Dari,

he'd be

Ily w doing.”

Darius nodded. "You know," he ac
knowledged, “I was planning to get a
couple of hous’ sleep tonight, but I
think you've just
ndenberg looked at Darius symp.
thetically. The Secretary realized that
Darius was in the grip of an impossible
dilemm;

you'

Darius didn't sleep at all that night. He
was up at seven. He showered, shaved
and pulled on the clothes he would wear
on the plane later that morning.

He was seated at a desk in the corner,
uying to fashion his lead sentence. It
took a long time before he began typ
but once he started, his fingers flew acro:
the keys of his typewriter with а relent-
less fury.

By the time Darius complete
story, all of his self-doubt had v

the lobby.
. Whi

time we're scheduled to get

drews?” He scribbled on а hotel memo

* Another
nks very

pad. "Where are we refu
note on the pad. "OK.
much."

In less than ten minutes, Darius had
picked his suitcase rment bag and
placed them outside the door. They
would be picked up, taken to the airport
and fluoroscoped by secur'ty personnel.

аттас

> would reappi
at Andrews Air Force Base.
us telephoned Blumer at the bu-
Jerry. I'm going to go downstairs
pour five minutes to film a stand-
upper. It’s a very good story and I can't
tell you anything about it over the
phone, but it’s very, very big. I'm going
to film it twice. 1 want one version to go
to London, for a possible bird tonight.
The other one I want you to ship to
New Y

Now, wait a second, don't interrupt.
I know it won't get there in time for the
show if you send it on a regular com-
mercial flight. What if we chartered to
Athens?

“All right, ГИ let you worry about it.
but, believe me, money is пог going to

be an object on this one: and it’s got to
get there in time for tonight's show.

“OK. ГИ sce you at the barricades.

He filmed his report against the back-
drop of the Old City. His Israeli cam
craman, Gregor. couldn't believe his cars.
You sure about all that, Darius?”

‘Tm sure.” Darius took hi
regor, for а few hours.

i by the
SATA

please don't say anyt бо anyone
about this stor
Gregor shrugged. h, you

know, is not very well. I no unde

what 1" He pointed his thumb
in the di "He
speaks ev

“Than 1. s corrected him with a

gri
“You see?

.
At the airport, Darius conveyed the
essence of his story to Blumer, who mer
ly wh iky to пу satelliting
that stuff out of Hertseliya,” Jerry agreed.
“The cense Ша ssh. Better to
ship it out your way."
Even though Darius was conscious of

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235

PLAYBOY

236

the roaring of the airplane engines, he
still lowered his voice. "Call O'Conner
and tell him he's got a bombshell flying
his way, but don't spell it out. Tell him
ТИ call him from Torrejon, when we
refuel.”
"Darius?" Blumer looked at his pro-
ё with pride. “You're one hell of a
er."
now." Darius whacked Blumer
across the back. "Not bad yourself,” he
inned. He picked up his typewriter and

Tarn and bo:
plane,

He sat down next to Br
whose Irish
by exhans
“I'm starting to feel like one of the
ident Visigoths,” Fitzpatrick growled,
“doomed to wander endlessly around the

E
Yeah,” said Herb Kaufm:
fect timing, "but at least they got to rape
and pillage. All we get is briefed.

Not on this leg.” It was Carl Ellis.
He squatted down in the aisle, next to
is. “Try not to be too conspicuous
about it,” he whispered, "bur the Secre-

d like to sce you up front alter we

«d the Vandenberg

1 Fitzpatrick,
d been sprung

with per-

ly moved his hi
ment. He delayed as long
waiting un

into th
of read

ad in agree-
s he could,
his colleagues had setled
customary “long flight" pattern
, sleeping and liar's poker. Aft-
irborne for about 30
mered up the aisle,

void him.
Ellis motioned Darius into the conference
cabin. "He's waiting for you.”

ecretary Vandenberg sat on
the couches that were attached

making a conscious effort to

one of
to the

ng otherwise occupied. Darius seat-
self a few feet away.
Vandenberg’s expression was impas

sive. "What have you decided?

D: icd to keep his voice calm.
"E filmed the report in Jerusalem. It's
cady on its way. It should be on air
tonight before we get back.”

There was a flicker of panic in Van-
denberg’s eyes, but it was almost. imme-
diately replaced by a look of Fathomless
sorrow. He seemed to be fighting to con-
trol his “Darius, you people in the
media pretend to be the guardians of our

of life—but уо actually the
ediggers of democracy!" he said with
icy contempt. “If the press won't govern
itself, sooner or later somebody does it
for them. I scarcely Вахе to mention Ger-
many, Greece, Hungary and other ex-
iples. "That's not a threat. It’s just one
of the laws of history if y insist on
limitless freedom without responsibility.”
Vandenberg had regained some of his
self-control. “Could you still keep the

story off the
“I could,” Darius replied coldly, “but
I won’
"Then there's nothing more to be
Darius got to his feet. "I'm
you're
Leaving the conference cabin, he ak
most collided with Bernardi in the aisle.
“I thought you had а few more brains
than the others," Bernardi sai

id.

Darius had anticipated the reaction
but felt stunned, nevertheless.

In the forward cabin, Bernardi was
just being summoned by the Secretary of

illed, Frank.’
id lea

ей

in Israel
Vandenberg pounded hi
couch, "I don't know.”
Look, it may not be
Felix. We can call the Is
them confiscate the film.
somewhere else, we can

fist on the

HI that bad,
elis and have
If he sent it
find that out

quickly enough. Film cans have a way of
getting lost.
Vandenberg shook his head. "No

t do if we get the film
in is a couple of hours. Hell
just do the story when he gets back to

get ino Andrews until
after the evening news shows are off
the air.

talk sense, will
nt the story killed. I don't want
tonight, or tomorrow night, or a
week from next Tuesday." Something oc-
curred to Vandenberg. “Isn't Ed Langston
the board chairman at NNS?”
Bernardi nodded. “Do you know h
Vandenberg was wiping his glasses with
. "I've met him a couple
s more important, though,
he knows Also. Г think he's
d of man who'd be suitably im-
pressed И he thought he could do his
Country a service.” The Secretary made
his decision. ^I want to talk to Langston.”
.
Arrangements had bet

п made for the

Secretary of State to use the Ате п
base commanders office at Torrejon
Communications already had Edward

І
chairm
ture of Secretary V

son on the phone; the network
had. been advised that the na-
denberg's business

with him was a matter of urgent national
security.
That offical ex-

“no recording de-
y on the extension.”

ad,” Langston had an-
but he really didn’t un-
nd he was nervous, wondering
n God's name could have prompt-
ed the ry of State to be calli
him in such dramatic fashion.
ndenberg did пой
the sense of drama.
“Ed. I'm calling on you as a friend
d as а patriot.” Vandenberg knew his

to dimi

man. "I'm counting on you to keep the
essence of this conversation in the strict
est confidence.”

1 think you know me well enough for
that, Felix." Umil that moment, it
would never have occurred to a man
like Langston to address the y of
State by his first name, but Vandenberg
seemed to invite th i
ood. I want you to know, first of
all, that I've never made this kind of
request before; and if I didn't believe
that world peace were at stake, I wouldn't
ke it no

Langston’s mouth had begun to feel
a lite dry.

‘One of your reporters, Da
Neste
He's a

ius Kane."

first-rate journalist, but he's

ave devastating consequences
broadcast prematurely.”

“What's the nature of the story?

Vandenberg repeated the main points
of what Darius hi
day. Aware of L;
utation, Vandenberg concluded:
as the Russians are unaware of
we know, Ed, we have an edge on them:
but, most important of all, if the Middle
ast explodes because of this story, it'll
drive the Palestinians and possibly the
Syrians and the Egypi to
the Soviet camp. You can imagine what
kind of pressure that'll put on the Saudis
id what that’s going to mean, in tur
to our oil supplies. We've worked damn
hard to get the Russians out of the Mid-
dic East. 1 don't think it’s worth one
television report to let them get their
hands back on the area agai
berg waited for a respon:

“What are you aski
Kill the story?”

Felix?

through
y- "I wouldn't
put it that bluntly, Ed. I'm asking you to
delay it. Give us а chance to get things
rolling in the Middle East. A few weeks
fom now, the situation could be radic
ly changed.”

Langston gazed at the Manhattan sky-
line from his 52nd-floor office. He had
never before felt so close to the shapi
ol his nation’s destiny. He was elated b
controlled, responsible. He phrased 1
answer with the instinctive caution of
successful. businessman. "Whether or not
1 decide to help you, Felix, one thing
must be understood. This conversation
never took place.”
Vandenberg leaned back
аа

his bor-
^I understand to-
tally, Ed. m very much indebted to
you."

The transat ine died. Langste
felt a little short of breath. He looked
at the phone, hoping it would ring
He wanted desperately to be able
to talk to someone, anyone. He was,
he mused, in the awkward position of the
apocryphal pastor who, having squeezed

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There

connecting him with his secret
want O'Conner up hcre, right away.
о

Bill O'Conner found Langston in an
expansive mood. Langston harbored no
bout his ability in the business
world, but news had always been a slight-
ly different matter. His distaste for jour-
nalis had matured over the years and
the fact that he now ran his own stable
had never relieved him of the suspicion
that his subordinates considered them-
selves members of an elite to which he
could never aspire. Langston savored the
unfamiliar intoxication of having just
been absorbed into the establisln . He
was about to participate in “making pol-
icy" and, onerous as the burden might
be, there was no doubt in Langston's
mind that he was acting in the national
interest.

"Have you talked to Kane yet
ston asked.

“I just got off the phone with him, Ed.
How'd you hear about it so fast?"

Langston ignored the question,

^I want the story killed

O'Conner had expected more of a pre
amble. “You're joking.” He hadn't in-
tended to say that. It had just slipped
out.

I want it killed,” Langston repeated.
“Do you mind telling me why?”
Langston was very much in control of

the situation. “I'd like to, Bill" He
sounded genuinely regretful. “I'm simply
not in a position to discuss it.

"Well, Im sorry, Ed, I can't accept
that. You don't just pretend that а story
like this doesn't exist

Langston interrupted. He adopted an
avuncular tone. "Bill before you say
something that you may regret liter on,
I think you should know uat I do not
consider this matter open to debate.
ger issues at stake here than
you know about, The story is to be
dropped. That’s an order.”

O'Conner was not а coward and his

Lang-

to resign, but you're not lea
much of an option."

"I hope you don't mean that; and, for
both of our sakes, I'm going to pretend
you didn't say it. 1 think there are а few
factors you should consider. I want to
assume first off that my executives have
some faith in my integrity. If I don't give
you a specific reason for my decision, it's
not because I don't choose to, it's because
I'm not able to. Then, too, I think you
ought to give some thought to the quix-
otic reaction that your resignation might
have. You have a home, a family. You're
at the peak of your career, but you're
not a young man, Bill. I don’t think any

ing me

of your former employers would пір over
themselves to rehire you. Anyway, your
financial stake in this company is not
inconsequential.”

The company’s stockoption plan had
just crossed O'Conner’s mind, too.

“But, most important of all, Bill
Langston continued, “is the fact that

your re ion wouldn't alter my de
Sion one bit. The story would still be
killed.”

Kane will leak it." The argument
seemed suspended in midair, lacking
any potency.

“Thav's a very real possibility,” Lang-
ston conceded. “But if he does so, 1
hope you'll impress upon him that he
would be taking the action in his capac-
ity as a private citizen of this great
democracy, not as an employee of the
ational News Ser
O'Conner sighed. He knew now that
he wasn’t going to resign. He was trying
to salvage а grain of self-respect, "Can't
you even leave open the possibility of
re-examining the story

Langston was feeling magnanimous.
“OF course!" He waited a beat. “But not
today.”

O'Conner left the executive suite with-
outa

ther word.
е

Shorly alter eight in the moming,

lhiugton time, a CIA official named
George Tipton received а message in
McLean. It had been sent from the U. S.
Embassy in Tel Aviv through a back-
channel communications system, so that
it would not appear in the White House
or State Department cable traffic. It was
very simple: "STORY 10 RUN As DISCUSSED.”

At 9:30, Tipton was able to get
through to his contact at the White
House, Whit Traynor. “That will take
сате of a lot of things,” Traynor said.
By the way, what are you going to do
about the Israeli agent?"

“Better you shouldn't ask,” Tipton
said in one of his rare attempts at humor.
st before nine, he had set in motion a
і ns that would lead to the
American intelligence officer
ng held by one of the radical
ips of the O.L.P.P. Kane's story, when
it came out, would be one of the crucial
parts of that series in convincing the
O.L.P.P.

Tipton took no joy in eliminating a
friendly foreign agent, but Ibrahim el-
Haj was close to outliving hi
Tipton firmly believed that the
should extract every possible advantage
from any given situation.

By three вм. Washington time, the
CIA agent had been freed. Ibrahim was
already dead.

Darius sensed that something
wrong the moment he stepped off the
plane at Andrews Air Force Base. There

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nothing in the air of impending
crisis, no electricity that usually precedes a
big story, no restlessness among the re-
porters waiting behind stecl barricades,
no live-camera units, nothing. The usual
lineup of State Department officials,
wives and diplomats waited near the
ramp of the giant Boeing. Several hun-
dred Air Force men and their families
waved paper American flags from behind
a fence near the VIP lounge. The tower,
with its rotating beacons, was white
against the dark sky. The President's
“doomsday” plane, a massive 747, was
parked at the far end of the apron.

Darius descended the ramp, trying to
contain his anxiety. He approached the
bull pen, hoping for a barrage of ques-
tions from his colleagues. There were
none, Several friends waved, a few others
shouted hello. The А.Р.5 Ken Dawson
hung in mock fatigue over a steel bar-
ricade. “I sce Felix has made the world
safe for democracy again.” Now Darius
knew that something was wrong. He
checked his watch. It was 7:45 PM,
Washington time. NNS should have re-
leased his story to the news agencies at
least two hours before.

There he comes!”
bellowed over the whine of the dying en-
gine. “Start rolling." Vandenberg walked
happily down the ramp, waving in
the general direction of the TV lights.
He shook hands with a succession of
diplomats and dignitaries, enjoying the
compliments and congratulations. He
stopped to kiss Linda Bernardi. “Without
his help,” Vandenberg said, pointing to
his Undersecretary, “we might haye been
ble to finish this job a weck earlicr.
Vandenberg grinned and continued his
handshaking walk down the receiving
line, When he had run out of hands, he
paused and then slowly approached a
cluster of microphones, positioned on
his side of the barricade: he tried to look
reluctant, as though, with each step, he
were fighting the pull of an invisible
magnet.

PLAYBOY

one TV reporter

‚ I have nothing to say.” Van-
denberg smiled at several familiar faces
on the other side of the barricade.

“Could you move just a little closer to
the microphones, Mr, Secretary?” It
young reporter, who spoke with a prop-
er mix of reverence and eagerness.

‘The Secretary turned serious. "I'm de-
Лиса, of course, to be back agai
. .." Vandenberg turned, in a con-
vindng imitation of confusion to Вег-
nardi, who dutifully played his straight
п

his is Washington, Mr. Secretary."

I'm delighted to be back here in
Washington. As most of you no doubt
know by now, we've made considerable
progress these past few days
another war in the Middle Eas

240 stand that the President is holding a news

conference in a little over ап hour. So I
hope you'll understand if Г don't take
any questions now. The President has
asked that I return to the White House
as soon as possible. Thank you all for
coming out here.”

Vandenberg turned toward а waiting
helicopter before anyone could ask a
ion.

Darius grabbed Dawson by the sleeve.
“Ken, what the hell is going on here?”

Dawson was puzzled. "You heard your
friend. The Presidents holding a news
conference. You didn't expect him to let
x take all the credit, did you?"

Darius felt a wave of nausea sweep
over him. "What about my story on the
O.L.P.P.

Dawson was under deadline pressure.
“L don't know what. you're talking about.
Why don't you get your bags while I file
this junk and ГИ drive you in to the
White House.”

"OK." he grunted. “ГИ mect you in
the VIP lounge. I to make а call
myself."

Darius found his suitcase and garment
bag among the pile of luggage stacked
г the plane's tail section, He carried
his bags across the tarmac and into the
VIP lounge, He dialed double nine for
an outside line and when he heard the
dial tone, he called the NNS Washington
bureau. Т] ог seemed genuinely
pleased “Darius! Wel-
come b
Thanks, Mary. Do me a favor, pl
Get me Bill O'Conner at home?
‘Sure. Hang on.”
omehow, the operator's warmth was
reassuring. Perhaps, Darius told himself,
he was just overreacting. Maybe the film
hadn't reached New York or London
time. He could hear thc phone ringi
and then O'Conner's voice.

“Mr. O'Conner,” Mary said, "I have
Darius Kane on the line for you.”

Darius was in no mood for prelimi
naries. "What happened, Bill?

"What do you mean, "What
pened"?

“You know what 1 mean. What hap-
pened to my

“I made the decision to hold it u
we can get a double confirmation.

ase?

hap-

y. "You m
the film and you didn't use it?

"Yes. We got the film. It looked fine.
I screened it myself.”

“Well. then, Bill, for Ch
the hell didn't we use it?

O'Conner was being uncharacteristi-
cally patient. “I told you. I think we need
to check out some of the details.

It had suddenly become very clear to
Darius. “How'd he get to you, Bill?

"How did who get to me?" Now there

n you got

issak

‚һу

п O'Conner's

Darius was beyond caring, though.
“Who?” he flared. “Vandenberg, that's
who! I had this goddamn story cold, and
you know it. Don't give me this bullshit
about checking out detail

“Look, Darius, you're tired. I can un-
derstand you're upset, but why don't we
bout it in the morning?”
wson had arrived and he was im
patiently pointing at his watch. It was,
Darius knew, pointless to continue the
rgument. The Evening News was al-
ready off the air.

"Yes," he agreed limply, *
ing."

Dawson helped carry Darius luggage
to his car. They were on Suitland Park-
way, heading toward Washington, before
Dawson brought up the subject. "Wi
did you start to tell me before about the
O.LP.P.2*

Darius felt torn. If he gave the story to
Dawson, it would probably appear,
weakened. form, on the Associated Press
wire. If there was any chance, though, of
still getting the story on NNS, it made
little sense to leak it to the A.P. It would
dilute the effect of the report and it
would infuriate O'Conner.

“Forget it. I'll tell you about it later."

They parked near the Washington
Monument and walked 10 the Executive
Осе Building. Uniformed guards e:
amined their White House press cards at
the southwest gate and then again as they
entered the E.O.B.

The auditor
Television cameras blocked every
Darius found a seat near the back row.

At exactly 30 seconds after nine г.
President Abbott entered the auditorium,
looking serene and dignified. Nothing be-
came him more than a public ceremony.
He walked. with a confident stride,
toward the lectern, which had been dec-
orated with the Presidential seal. Secre-
tary Vandenberg and Harlan Stewart, the
President's National Security Advisor,
down on the only wo chairs on the thick-
ly carpeted stage. The President mo-

ned the reporters to be seated.

"Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, "I
ге а brief opening announcement, and
then ГИ take your questions" —Abbott
paused, theatrically—"if you have any.”
The reporters laughed, despite them-
selves. The President smiled. He loved his
prime-time performances.

“First, I would like to extend my s
st congratulations to the Secretary of
у: nodded deferentially
in the President's directio

“Were it not for his untiring efforts, we
might find the world to be in a far diler-
ent. condit ng. and it would
certainly not have been possible for me
to make the following announcement. 1

n the morn-

m was already crowded.

isle.

will be leaving Washington in early
March for a six-day visit to the Middle
East. Some of the specific dates have yet
to be worked out, but I will be meeting
with the leaders of Israel, Egypt, Syria,
Jordan, Saudi Arabia"—here the Presi-
dent paused—"and it is also my intention
to meet with the chairman of the Organi-
zation for the Liberation of the People
of Palestine.

‘The senior A.P. correspondent had al-
ready jumped to his feet, but the Presi-
dent raised his hands. “Г haven't quite
finished." The reporter sat down. "Secre-
ry Vandenberg will, of course, be ac
companying me to the Middle East; and
itis my plan that he will remain there,
following my own discussions, for the
purpose of establishing at least the frame-
work of a solution to the festering prob-
Jem of a Palestinian homeland, Now, Mr.
Wilmington, I'll be happy to take your
first question.”

"Ehe АР. reporter stood, glancing down
at his notebook. "Mr. President, you've
just announced your intention to meet
with the ch: n of the O.L.P.P. Would
it be correct to assume that the United
States has now granted official recogni-
tion to the O.L..P.P.2"

President Abbott stole a quick glance
at the “guidance material” that had been
drafted under Vandenberg’s direction
only minutes earlier. “With

imits, Mr. Wilmington, yes, that would
be correct. As you know, the United States
has withheld any recognition of the
O.L.P.P. for as long as that organization
refused to acknowledge the existence of
the state of Israel. We consider Chairman
Safat’s acceptance, earlier today, of the
appropriate UN resolutions to be a re
versal of that policy; and therefore, with-
in the same terms enunciated by the
Israeli government itself today, we are
prepared to recognize the O.L.P-P."
Darius knew that his own story was
being masterfully and deliberately smoth-
ered, that if he failed to raise it now, it
would be so overtaken by events that it
could never be revived. He jumped to
his feet. “Mr. President!” In his sense of
mounting frenzy, Darius had overlooked
the traditional sequence of Presidential
news conferences. President Abbott was
pointing at the woman from U.P.I. Dari-
us fought to restrain his impatience dur-
ing the string of questions that followed
from the respective White House cor-
respondents from ABC, NBC and CBS.
The news conference was more than
15 minutes old before President Abbott
began recognizing outstretched hands be-
yond the first row. The Presidents eyes
never seemed to stray in Darius’ direction.
Tt is not casy, at a White House news
conference, for a reporter to gain recog-
nition, especially when the President

chooses to ignore him. It is not, however,
impossible. The technique has been
perfected, over the years, by such insistent
White House gadflies as Clark Mollen-
hoff and Sarah McClendon, It calls for a
carefully timed combination of volume,
breath control and a steely determination
to complete a question, no matter what
interruptions threaten to cut it short.
Darius got to his feet just as the Pres
dent was coming to the end of his answer
to a previous question, "Mr-President-
you've-avoided-all-reference-here-this-eve-
ning"—Darius strung his words together
in a continuing stream, until he was sure
that his voice had overridden all chal-
lengers—"'to-the-events-that-led-the-M id-
dle-East-to-the-brink-of-war." A number of
heads had turned in his direction. and.
Darius was now confident that he would
be able to complete his question in a
more normal cadence. “There is ii
putable evidence that both the Soviet
Union and Isracl succeeded in planting
intelligence agents at the highest level of
the O.L.P.P." Almost every head in the
auditorium had now swiveled toward
Darius. "Furthermore, there is evidence
that the Soviets, in particular, knew
abou have initiated and certainly
tied to exploit the kidnaping of Secre-
tary Vandenberg's wife to lead the Mid-
die East toward another war; and that the
on that war did not break

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out was the secret raid, by an Israeli com-
mando unit, in the heart of Damascus
some 48 hours ago. My question, sir, is
this: Was your sudden announcement
here this evening—that you are going to

the Middle East—prompted by a desire to
ke

p those facts from becoming pul
President Abbot's expression turned
n: he gripped the lectem with both
hands “Mr. Kane" he pronounced,
evenly, “I must say that I find both the
tone and the substance of your question
offensive. I understand that, where the
Middle East in particular is concerned,
ny President must expect. that not only
his actions but even his motivations will
be subjected to intense scrutiny. And it's
perfectly proper thar this should be so:
but to suggest, as you've just done, that
the President of the United States would
travel to the Middle East for the express
purpose of saving the Soviet Union from
embarrassment is, 10 put it very bluntly,
ibsurd." The President turned, very de-
liberately, away from Danus, inviting
another question: but Darius had re
mained standing. "Mr. President, а fol-
low-up question, if I may: First of all, sir,
without intending any disrespect, you've
ignored the substance of my question;
that is, both the Israeli raid and the dual
the O.L.P.P. Secondly,
isn't it а fact that the decision to hold
this news conference у an hour after
Secretary Vandenbergs return—before
уоп could even discuss the implications
of his trip—that that decision was made
at Mr. Vandenberg' suggestion for the
specific purpose of overshadowing the
other events I've referred to?
"Mr. Капе, You seem to be laboring
under the misapprehension that the only
time the President сап talk to his Sec
tary of State is when the two of them are
in the same room at the same ti
been in constant touch
telex and telephone: and the decision to
hold this news conference was made а
number of hours ago. Now, as to all of
other allegations. I hardly know
where to begin. In fact. it might be best
if Secretary Vandenberg himself addressed
these incredible charges. Come on up
here, Felix.”
Vandenberg cleared his throat nervous-
ly as he approached the lectern. His right
1d chopped at the air. giving his words
additional emphasis. "As the President
has just told you, the decision that he
would visit the Middle East and that the
announcement would be made at this
news conference was reached several hours
go. But that is only а circumstantial de
nial of all the points that Mr. Kane has
raised. 1 am not aware that any foreign
government has succeeded in penetrating.
the O.L.P.P. I am not aware that the Is-
cli government launched а commando
aid i Damascus; nor, I might add, is
clear to me how such a raid could ha
been instrumental in preventing а war.
gag Vandenberg’s eyes moved slowly up the

PLAYBOY

penenation of

youn

rows of seats until they settled on Darius.
“I have always regarded Mr. Kane as a
serious and responsible jou I can
only assume that he has fallen victim 10
a condition that, at one time or another,
plagues the most careful and well-inten-
tioned among us—bad information

10 his sea
more quest are you
flatly denying the raid and the penetra-
tion by Soviet and Israeli agents of the
Q.L.P.P.2"

Vandenberg
His voice and
Kane. I just h

Darius sank into -his ch; overcome
by waves of shock, disbelief, frustration.
and finally fatigue. He was vaguely aware
of another reporters question about
t kind of Congressional reaction the
ident expected.

Abbot's voice seemed to be comi
from another planet. “It is the require-
ments of global peace thar dictate our
wip, not politics. 1 am confident that all
members of Congress, Republican and
Democratic, will recognize that it is in
the national interest of the United States
that Е undertake this effort. The Congress
will respond according!

At 9:30, almost to the second, the A.P.
correspondent rose to deliver the tradi

the lectern.
Mr.

returned to
his сусу were cold.

ve.

tional “Thank you, Mr. President,” cnd-
ing the news conference. Across the noisy
auditorium, filled with rising or depart-

ng reporters, Vandenberg caught E
eye and held it for a moment before fall-
ing into Abbott's wake.
.
Secretary. Vandenberg was in the pri
vate office of the President's National Se-
curity Advisor. Most of the White House

staff, including Stewart. had gone home
shortly after the news conference. Presi
dent Abbot had retired to the family

quarters.

Vandenberg had accepted an incoming
call from the Israeli prime minister: he
would have preferred delaying this con-
frontation, but he decided to get it out
of the way

“Ya'acov. Why

Ben Dors voice registered a chilly
, Mr. Sec
usual.

monotone, "You'll forgive mi
if I dispense with our
pleasantries."
Vandenberg sounded
course, Mr. Prime Ministe:
“Don't you think it would have been
courteous, to say the least, if the Govern-
ment of the United St d seen fit to
inform the government of Israel that the
President was plan
rman of the O.L.P.P.
looked out at the front
lawn of the White House and sighed.

Mr. Prime Minister. Sometimes the
exigencies of a situation leave little room
for courtesy or even formalities. My

principal concern, as vou should know,
was to override Капез story before it

s. Be-
icement was, quite
literally, a last-minute decision."

“And the sacrifice of
was that a last-minure decision also

"I'm sorry, Ya'acov. Now I really don't
know what you're talking about."

The Is me minister hesitated
Very well" he snarled,

"L assume you've taken whatever
re necessary to avoid amy personal
plication or embarrassment. But be-
lieve me, Mr. Secreta газта born
yesterday. An American agent was re-
leased by the O.L.P.P. in Beirut this after-
noon, only an hour or two be
own man was killed. I'm nor so n
to believe that we could е
of your complicity in this affair; but you
believe me, Mr. Secretary, 1 won't for-
get it” The line went dead.

Vandenberg stared at the phone i
helpless rage. Then he picked up an ash-
пау and hurled it across the room. “God-
damn this fucking job!”

A second later, a secretary knocked
tentatively at the opening door. “Is any-
thing wrong, Mr. Secretary?”

Vandenberg stared at her
seconds
he muttered, “

steps

т find proof

few
No,"

for a

nd shook his head slowly
not a thing.”

s cubicle
shington bureau of NNS. Sev
editors and technicians were still on
duty, but when Darius entered the news-
room, they all seemed preoccupied. Not
a word was exchanged, though the night
editor, an old friend, nodded. Darius
knew of no formal communication from
New York, but the grapevine had car-
ried the message of executive displeasure.
It was enough. Darius story was sub-
merged but mot ignored in the wire-
ser

е reporis оп the Presidential news
conference, and he had little doubt that
it would become the source of heated de-
bate in Congress within a day or two. He
also had little doubt that, as the debate
tensified, it would embarrass NNS.
If the story was accurate, why had NNS
ignored its own correspondent? A report-
ers error was forgivable. The reporter
who underscored the error of his network
was not. Within the National News Serv-
ice, Darius Kane was already а pariah.
s tugged open a drawer of his
he took out a blank interoffice
memorandum. He rolled the sheet of
paper into his typewriter. “кком: Darius
Kane. To: Bill O'Conner. 5ивукст:
e's status." Darius advanced the p
per four spaces. Then he typed out a
terse note of resignation
tal words of Ernest Hemingway:
shove job assward!” "

He slipped the note into an inter-
office envelope and dropped it into his
secretarys OUT basket.

“In the immor-

‘Up.

The ColorTrak System.
Couldit be the best то? 25°
uy?

color picture you can

RCA’s exclusive ColorTrak System
is a major achievement in color
picture performance. Because
ColorTrak is a truly remarkable
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signal, alignsit, defines it, sharpens
it, tones it and locks the color on
track.

Getting the color right is what the
ColorTrak System is all about.

Here’s how it works.

Automatic Color Control works

Color variations can occur when the
program changes, when a commer-
cial comes on, and when you switch
channels. ColorTrak’s Automatic
Color Control constantly monitors
the color and actually adjusts it for
you when changes occur.

ATinted-Phosphor Picture Tube
reduces reflections.

Room light that reflects from the
screen can make color appear to
“wash out.” Many sets have a black
matrix to absorb some of that light.
But ColorTrak enhances its black
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A Dynamic Fleshtone
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The Cosmos, 19" diagonal, Model FB497W. Simulated
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Anew XtendedLife Chassis

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ColorTrak runs cooler and uses less
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New XtendedLile Chassis uses about as much
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sis. It generates less heat and sub-
jects parts to less electrical stress
than the chassis it replaces. The.
XtendedLife Chassis is designed to.
last longer and require less service
than any previous RCA chassis.

To assure RCA excellence, we test
ColorTrak throughout production.
Circuits are tested by our new com-
puter system which rejects parts
that don't meet our high standards.
And RCA technicians perform
hundreds of tests on materials, parts
and subsystems, making ColorTrak
the most thoroughly tested set in
RCA history.

ColorTrak could well be the
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We invite you to see the ColorTrak
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Colorlrak

RCA is making television better and better.

243

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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

Playboy's Pipeline

CHECKING YOUR CREDIT RATING

UNLOCKING THE MYSTERY
With credit bureaus today keeping tabs
on about 125,000,000 adult Americans,
the odds are that there's a Ме on you at
опе of them.

"That mysterious file does not have to
remain a mystery, however, since every-
body is entitled, under the Federal Fair
Credit Reporting Act, to know what is
in his personal dossicr at the local credit
bureau, And while this knowledge is
essential if you are ever denied the priv-
ilege of borrowing from a bank, a store
or any other credit grantor, it is also
important for you to be aware of your
credit standing with others.

"First you should get a medical check-
up, then a dental checkup and then a
checkup on your reputation,” says Nor-
man Horwitz, a New York specialist in
consumer-credit rights. “I think everyone
should check on his reputation every two
years.

There's a simple way to get this type
of стей checkup—z lot easier and
cheaper than the medical or dental vari-
ety. It starts with a visit to or a written
request for a call from the local credit
bureau, a clearinghouse of consumer-
credit data that generally can be found
through the Better Business Bureau or
the Yellow Pages under “Credit Report-
ing Agencies.”

Although known to the public as
credit bureaus, the organizations that
collate and sell credit information on
individuals to grantors, insurers and
other businesses arc technically called
consumer reporting agencies. There are
almost 2000 of them throughout the
country, some of which are cooperatives
run by the merchants in a city or a
region and some of which are part of
nationwide chains.

Whatever their owncrship, they do not
Brant credit themselves nor investigate
your character by interviewing third
parties. "Their function is to gather credit.
data and provide it to members, who are
legally entitled to use it only when they
are considering someone for credit, in-
surance or employment. Bureaus cooper-
ate with one another by exchanging files
and computer tapes when persons move
to a new arca and apply for credit where
they are unknown.

When you ask for the nature and sub-
stance of the facts in your file, the credit

bureau will probably insist on proper
identification before offering access,
which is in the form of an oral or written
review as required by the law or the full
transcript or computerized printout giv-
сп to credit grantors that many bureaus
make available to individuals as a matter
of course. If you have been denied credit
hin the past 30 days because of a
report from a bureau, that information
must be offered at no cost. Otherwise,
the charge is from two dollars to ten
dollars,

WHAT'S ON FILE

A typical credit report contains the
following: identification, such as name,

current and former addresses, wife's name
and both Social Security numbers; em-
ployment daa on husband and wife
(names and addresses of present employ-
ers, years employed and sala pul
record notations that have a bearing on
credit history and potential, such as liti-
gation, judgments and bankruptcies; and
a credit profile of actual accounts out-
standing.

Those accounts are normally sum-
marized in a coded form, or in what
the credit burcaus call а common Іап-
guage. Each account is listed, along with
the opening date, date of last sale, amount
owed and amount past due. The report
also indicates the type of account—open,
revolving or installment—and describes
the manner of payment.

THE WAY YOU PAY
Of all the information contained in a
credit report, the manner of payment has

always been the most controversial. (Nu-
merical and alphabetical codes have long
been used on credit reports to reveal
whether a customer usually pays his ac-
count according to the agreed-upon terms
or is a bad risk.) Now, instead of making
subjective interpretations about the cus-
tomers ability or willingness to pay.
many bureaus are beginning to use a
system that will merely report the way
payments were made over a 12month

period.
SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT

After examining your record, you have
the right to question any of the facts that
you believe to be vague, misleading ог
erroneous, The credit bureau is required
to reinvestigate those items and remove
them from the record if they cannot be
substantiated.

But if the bureau, instead, reaffirms the
disputed items, you can file а 100-word
explanatory statement that must be en-
tered into the same record. Moreover,
whenever an adverse item is deleted or
an explanatory statement added, you can
request that all credit grantors who have
received reports on you within the past
six months be notified.

Credit users, in addition to finding
errors, sometimes discover that their rc-
ports are incomplete. For example, a
man who checked on his record not long
ago found that one local credit bureau
listed 11 of his accounts, while another
had entries for only four. In fact, he had
more than 90 departmentstore, oil-com.
pany, bank and other charge accounts.

To update the record of your credit
activities—particularly if that record i
good—you can give the bureau the names
and numbers of the missing accounts and
ask that they be included. Many bureaus
charge about $1.50 a name for this serv-
ice and give no guarantee that the con-
tacted companies will respond with
information.

Nevertheless, bureau reports are used
so widely that no one can overlook the
possibility that inaccurate or incomplete
reporting about his credit history may
be stored in a computer and made avail-
able to companies that are asked to grant
credit. As long as this information about
you is on record in our creditoriented
society, you can make certain that it is
right by cheding up on the credit
checkers. — LEONARD SLOANE

245

THE WORLD'S MOST POWERFUL RECEIVER.

250 WATTS PER CHANNEL (MINIMUM RMS AT 8 OHMS, 20-20,000 HZ) WITH NO MORE THAN 0.05% THI

Not everyone can afford the Marantz Model
2500. In fact, you'll find that you have to spend
a little more for any Marantz audio product. But
when you do you'll possess the finest audio.
equipment in the world because you're buying.
better engineering and better quality.

What makes the Marantz Model 2500 worth
more are innovations like the Toroidal Power
Transformer that has been especially designed
to give you two independent power supply
sections, allowing each channel to perform at
maximum efficiency and remain unaffected
by the power demands of ihe other channel.
Plus, our tunnel “рїп fin" heat sink is the
most efficient cooling system ever used in a
high fidelity receiver or amplifier.

The Model 2500 includes virtually the most
sophisticated amplifier section on the market
today: a full complementary symmetry
direct-coupled output. The result is the
highest possible day-in, day-out operating
reliability and lowest Total Harmonic Distortion:
no more than 0.05%.

The Model 2500 also includes the most im-
pressive performance feature package ever
engineered into one receiver. You get a built-
in oscilloscope, for precise signal display.

Plug-in optional Dolby* FM noise reduction
circuitry for lowest noise possible with FM
reception. And the most advanced noise filtering.
system ever developed. First, the 18 dB per
octave Bessel-derived high filter —the most
advanced in audio—reduces high frequency
noise with a more natural, less colored sound.
The 18 dB per octave 15 Hz sub-sonic
Butterworth low filter assures that all your
power is used to reproduce only actual program
material, not wasted on unwanted noise or
rumble. 2 LED peak power indicators let you
know when transients drive the amplifier to full
output. 5-gang FM tuning capacitor, and
dual-gate MOS FET FM front end ensure
superior linearity and rejection of spurious sig-
nals with an IHF usable sensitivity of 1.5 micro-
volts and a 50 dB “quieting sensitivity” figure

in stereo of 25 microvolts—the finest such
specification ever obtained in a receiver—or
even a separate tuner.

For music lovers who will accept nothing less
than the very finest... апа are willing to spend a
little more to get it...the Model 2500 is the
most significant receiver ever developed.

Da a P B ad s 8 та Ш 2.
We sound better.

*TM Dolby Labs. Inc. € 1977 Marantz Co., Inc., a subsidiary of Superscope, Inc., 20525 Nordholt St., Chatsworth, CA 91311.
Prices and models subject to change without notice. Consult the Yellow Pages for your nearest Marantz dealer.

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

Playboy's Pipeline

THE BOTTLED-WATER BOOM

EVERYBODY'S DOING IT.

A stemmed goblet of chilled, bubbly
Perrier, with a twist of lime or lemon,
has become the status drink of expense-
account luncheons and dinners. Richard
Burton and Ed McMahon bless the day
they discovered bottled water. Jetset high
priestess Diana Vreeland tucks away bot-
ted drinking water on all air ий
Henry Ford's first wife, Anne Johnson,
not only drinks botled water but also
washes her face with ad I wouldn’
think of serving anything but Evian to
my dogs" The Palace restaurant on
New York's Upper East Side uses only
ian and Репісг as cocktail mixers;
Texas oil barons pour Mountain Valley
spring water on their house р!
And Perrier has come forth with ha ndy
supermarket six-packs.

Drinking mineral water is not a rcc
snob fad. Julius Caesar was refreshed by
the alkaline waters at Vichy, where he
built a health spa. Italy, Germany, Swe-
den, Mexico and the United States also
flaunt their spring and mineral waters
with claims that they have hardly any
calores, аге without carcinogenic addi-
tives found in diet colas and can be
beneficial to one's wellbeing. For dec-
ades, Europcans took the waters at favor-
ite restful spas for “the cure.”

Bottled waters come as both purified
drinking water and mineral water. Al-
though there are doctors who frown on
drinking too much mineral water, Eu
ropcan diagnosticians prescribe the al-
kaline water from Vichy for overfed
ners and for hangovers, and Americans
concur that these waters taste better than
bicarbonate of soda. “А hangover con-
sists of dehydration in the body,” notes
Bruce Nevins, the man who brings all
that Perrier into the States. “Water takes
care of it quicker than most ‘cures’ and,
from what we know, naturally carbonat-
ed water is absorbed into the system 15
times faster than still water.” Some water
addicts argue that an excess of carbona-
tion is not good; they lean on bottled
still water for a regular diet. Shelf lile
of bottled waters appears to be unlimited

nd the variety of flavors is consider-
able—and surprising.

BOTTLED STILL WATERS

1. Contrexéville claims renown since
1760 and, to promote its noncaloric con-
tent, it advertises that it is the water of

“aware Frenchwomen.” Bottled in Vosges,
France, it has an unattractive nose, smells
е ice that's been in the refrigerator too
long, has a taste that is clean but flat.

2. Evian Water from Evian-les-Bains,
rance, is the undisputed queen of the
Gallic still waters, inviting to drink, with
its natural bouquet, and tastes deliciously
fresh, with a country-creek clarity.

3. Fiuggi from the Fiuggi springs i
Italy is а winner. The label avers that
is “absolutely free from pathogenic micro
organisms as shown by the microbiologi-
cal analysis"—whatever that means. All
the вате, it makes for a most refreshing

drink, is an unf thirst quencher
and has none of the “off” mineral taste
some waters have. Fiuggi has been the
drink of royalty, Vatican hierarchy, even
Michelangelo.

4. Poland Water comes from the state
of Maine, and a recent boule had such
fishy nose and flavor that I wondered
if local lobsters were scrubbed in it. (Lat-
er, another bottle turned out to be
squeaky clean and I was impressed with
its clarity and freshness.)

5. Mountain Valley is bottled in Hot
Springs, Arkansas. A natural spring wa-
ter (“Famous for 100 Year Mountain
Valley is the most refreshing American
bottled water I tasted, brook clean, with
a natural aftertaste. A wonderful thirst
quencher, it's excellent for coffee, tea or
cocktails.

BOTTLED CARBONATED WATERS

1. Vichy, from the Gélestins Spring
in Vichy, France, has a pronounced

alkaline taste, which takes getting used to.
Salty as а mouthful of ocean water, it is
slightly carbonated and considered a rc-
lief for upset stomach

2. Ramlösa in the ice-blue bottle from

the original spring at Ramlösa Brunn in
Sweden has royal-court sanction, is gen-
Чу effervescent, brisk on the palate and
free from iron. Good.
s in the cmerald-green
d Neuenahr, Germany, is
labeled “the queen of table waters" and.
has been around for a century. It is
puckeringly salty—a splash of sea spr
down one's throat—and if I were а low-
sodium dicter, I'd be careful. It doesn’t
hold its carbonation, so the fuz is ar-
tificially augmented with its own natural
gas.

4. Agua de Tehwacin from Tehuacán,
Mexico, contains bubbles that are too
large; consequently, they quickly vanish
from your glass. A mineral water, Tehua-
т is pleasant and refreshing, with a
е of saltiness—though one could de-
scribe it as bland.

5. Perrier from Vergeze, France, is the
hottest bottled-water item on the Amer-
ican market. today. Of all the naturally
carbonated waters, it is the best balanced,
with a low sodium content and sufficient
natural effervescence for one to recap it
and drink it two days later (unlike some
artificially carbonated waters).

6. San Pellegrino from Bergamo, Italy,
is the most popular drinking water
throughout Italy. I's fresh-tasting, with
added ca dioxide and a slightly
metallic edge in the aftertaste.

7. Calso is bottled in Menlo Park,
California, and is recommended both as a
mix and as an aid for the relief of acid
Conditions caused by overeating and
overdrinking. The water comes from the
San Mateo reservoirs and is carbonated.
Salty and fizzy as Bromo-Seluer, Calso is
known for its hangover cures, The ques-
tion is: Can any hangover be that bad?

TASTE

е is what all bottled-water lovers
nd thereby hangs a controversy—
to chill or not to chill? Diana Vreeland
believes all water should be drunk at
room temperature; Vic Gotti of Ernie's
restaurant in San Francisco prefers his
Fiuggi refrigerated. Of course, one never,
never pollutes bottled water with tap-
water ice cubes —crorcr CHRISTY

247

"Ittakes Two Fingers and one glass
to turn strangers into friends."

Two Fingers was never one
to pass up making a new friend —
be itman or woman.

"After all, my business is
selling Two Fingers Tequila,’ he
often told customers.

Two Fingers and his tequila
made a lot of friends in the 30's.

Sometimes, our sources say,
he got too friendly for the likes of
Honey, the woman who always
accompanied him north of
the border.

We could never pin the story
down forsure about how Two
Fingers lost those fingers. But
Honey was known to wink and
say she whacked them off one
night "after he was out carousing.”

Of course, Two Fingers is
reported to have said just the
opposite about their relationship.

“I take her along to keep
an eye on her,” he grinned toa
Flagstaff hotel man.

Whatever the case, they had
a lot of time to keep track of each
other on the dozens of trips Two
Fingers made throughout the
mid and late 30's.

The only trouble is, nobody
seems to know what happened
to them after 1939.

Two Fingers just stopped
coming north. Maybe he moved
to South America. A cafe owner
in Yuma told us Two Fingers
often joked about owning some
land there.

“Maybe I'll show the South
Americans what they're missing.
Like making fine tequila.”

It's hard to say where he dis-
appeared to. The one good thing
is that Two Fingers Tequila is still
making plenty of friends today.

Product of Mexi & E

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

Playboy's Pipeline

COLD-WEATHER GROOMING

HAIR CARE

A lot of men think that when the ther-
mometer plummets, irs a signal to cut
down on the frequency of their sham-
pooing. Wrong. Winter's air is as pol-
luted as summers. Daily shampooing
makes sense year round. However, cold
air and central heating conspire to dry up
hair's naturally protective oils. Hair con-
ditioners, which you might have needed
only rarely, if at all, during autumn, may
now have to become a daily affair. Con-
ditioners close up the hair shaft by de-
positing filler agents between the shaft's
fishlike scales, thus protecting the hair by
making it less penetrable. Conditioners
also eliminate static buildup, another
problem when humidity falls.

ОГ course, greeting freczing tempera-
tures with damp hair is an open invita-
tion to a dandy head cold. During cold
spells, blow driers are often timesaving
necessities. If you use one, don't put it
on its highest heat setting even during
the initial drying step, since the upper
reaches of all that hot air can dry out the
scalp. exactly what you don't need when
ruthless weather conditions are working
to do so on their own. Blow away most of
the wetness on a safer warm setting. Di-
rect the nozzle ир and through the h
not at the scalp. Complete the styling at
the lowest heat setting.

Headwear, though supposedly protec
tive, has its limitations. First, some hats
and caps may mat the hair. And those
that are unventilated stimulate bacteria
breeding perspiration. Knitted headgear
is better, though not always appropriate
with a business suit. Fresh air and
sun—even wintry sun—promote healthy
growth, An everyday air bath of half an
hour or so is а good idea, whatever the
temperature. А brisk, hatless walk also
helps tone the system during a period
when too many fellows’ lifestyles roughly
approximate hibernation. But, remem-
ber, when the temperature drops to frost-
bite level, let discretion be the better
part of venülation.

FACING THE ELEMENTS

As potentially dangerous as winter is
for the hair, it’s harsher on the constant-
ly exposed face. But shave we must,
meaning that we face each chilly morn-
ing with skin sporting tiny abrasions. If

steps aren't taken, the face is soon
dled with a network of superficial wrin-
kles and raw spots. Even naturally oily
skin can suffer from the ravages of win-
ter, becoming less supple.

To the rescue come soothing products
called aftershave conditioners or balms.
In truth, these are really moisturizers;
and, despite the feminine connotations
of the term, moisturizing should be part
of a male's winterizing routine. When
moisture is lost from the skin—which is
accelerated during winter—the human
organism has no way of hastening a re-
placement. It must come externally, vi
plain old water. But to keep the той
ture from evaporating again, a barrier of

some kind must be erected—and that's
where the moisturizer comes in.

Swictly speaking, moisturizers don't
really add moisture; they merely entrap i
So, after shaving, you should splash your
face with handfuls of water. Then, while
the skin is still damp (use your palms, not
a towel, to “dry” your face), quickly
smooth on an aftershave balm, condi-
tioner or moisturizer, any of which will
leave a fine, invisible shield to lock in the
extra water to which you've just treated
your face. If the shield isn't invisible,
blot with a tissue.

DON'T GO NEAR WATER

In sub-zero weather, however, moistur-
izing with a wrong product is risky. And
the wrong ones are water-based, since
they might literally freeze on the face.
An oil- or cream-based. moisturizer is the
answer when the blasts are icy. The easiest

way to determine the type is to drop a
dab into some water; if the
product is water-based; if пог, it's oil- or
cream-based. The latter ones might look
a little greasy after application. Wait five
minutes, check the results in a mirror,
tissue away any shiny excess.

Since winter is so tough on the skin,
it's a good idea to moisturize the face—
first splashing loads of water, then spread-
ing the protective film—before going to
bed as well. Obviously, the face should
always be properly cleansed first. Soap
and water are fine unless you have un-
usually sensitive skin. Then, theatrical or
not, ordinary cold cream can help save
face. It can also serve as a moisturizing
protector.

BABYING YOUR ВОР

Too-frequent bathing is а common
cause of dry, itchy skin during winter.
Still, resorting to a weekly Sunday-night
special just isn't acceptable. Brief show-
ers are one recommended alternative.
But baths don't necessarily necd to be
drying. Rubbing the body (or, better yet,
having it rubbed) with mineral oil before
luxuriating in the tub not only is sen-
suous but also helps smooth away dry
skin while soothing away daily care

Conservation-minded individuals are
bad mouthing Ianguorous baths as wastes
of natural resources. Maybe so. But an-
Other severe energy crisis cam be the
consequence of rushing head on into
strenuous exercise during winter—and
courting a coronary. Naturally, its wise
to keep in shape during the cold war, but
always warm up slowly and carefully,
The body should never be traumatized
by too sudden exertion nor by stopping
too suddenly. Winter slows down circu-
lation. Exercise a bit of sanity in physical
exertion. On the other hand, if you want
to come off smelling like a rose, recognize
that cold weather inhibits colognes from
reaching their full potential without hi
and body warmth to activate them. To
get the most from the bottle, you should
(within reason, of course) douse extra
amounts on your chest and arms.

Your hands and feet deserve some lov-
ing, too. Put on a hand cream before
putting on your gloves. And smoothing
some of the same lotion on your feet
after showering will help fend off rough,
scaly patches. — CHARLES 11x

249

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Р.О. Box 10207, Des Moines, lowe 50387

Yes, enroll me as а new member and send me the books
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PLAYBOY

252

ROOTS (continued from page 129)

“By slighting these subterranean esculents, we are
denying our heritage. European chefs value roots.”

rots are inevitably mated with зорду
peas, beets are consigned to boiled din-
ners or a sweerandsour sauce, parsnips
are something for the stockpot and tur-
nips are fit only for Li'l Abner and the
denizens of Dogpatch.

By slighting these subterranean escu.
lents, we are, in a sense, denying part
of our culinary heritage. European chefs
value roots and prepare them imagina-
tively. The French exalt navets, the ma-
ligned turnips, in such classic dishes as
canelon aux navets and in creamy po-
tages. They also have a nice way with
crisp, early red globe radishes—just а
dab of sweet butter and a sprinkling of
salt,

John Fletcher, 17th ntury English
playwright, promised, “I shall rise agai
there be truth in eggs and butter’d pars-
nips.” Parsnips are still a tradi
Britain, roasted to tenderness with a joint
of beef or baked in pics. The Russians
make a lusty borsch from bectroot—
magnificent hot or cold. And the Turks
go the Russians one better with a sur-
prisingly soft vodka, Izmira, distilled
from massive white beets, each weighing
four or five pounds, As for mundane
carrots, you soufllé, purée, flambé,
sauté, make them into candy, cake and
pudding—their variety is virtually
infinite.

Not everything that grows underground
is a root. Potatoes are tubers, onions are
bulbs and taro roots are rhizomes. A
root, properly, is the lower portion of the
plant that collects water and mineral nu-
triments. It has no function in regenera-
tion (bulb) or storing food for the new
plant (tuber). Paradoxically, neither gin-
gerroot nor arrowroot is a root vegetable,
but the sweer potato is. And it's a native
American—mentioned appreciatively in
the records of Columbus. fourth voyage
of discovery as tasting "not unlike" chest-
nuts. It happens to be one of the most
nutritionally complete foods and was a
major factor in bringing the colonials

through the Revolutionary War. A phy
sician of the period considered sweet
potatoes “the vegetable indispensable.”
Another native root, in the sweet-potato
family, is known as man-of-the-earth, be-
ing similar in size and shape to a man's
body. The Cheyenne, Arapaho and
Kiowas will cat it roasted, when hungry,
but they don't consider it palatable.

Not quite so exotic and definitely more
inviting are burdock, celeriac, or celery
root, jicama, salsify—known colloquially
as oyster plant—icicle radish, lotus root,
yuca and horseradish, names caleulated
to produce a Pavlovian réaction in any
card-carrying epicure. While not avail-
able in all seasons and every greengrocery,
they're by по means rarities and are worth
seeking out.

We commend the recipes below to
everyone bemused by the subject of roots.

от BORSCH, RUSSIAN TEA ROOM

Rudolph Bing wants only the clear
liquid; Woody Allen prefers his borsch
on the dense side. The Russian Tea

Room serves it to vour taste, even cold.
4 cups beef stock
3 large beets
1 carrot
2 stalks celery

2 onions
1 parsnip
1 cup coarsely shredded cabbage
1 cup tomato pulp, fresh or canned,
icd
] teaspoon sugar
lic, split
alt, pepper, to taste
Thick sour cream, at room tempe
Fresh dill, finely chopped
Most home kitchens don't have beef
stock on hand. You can make some
from canned bouillon or bouillon cubes.
Peel beets and shred coarsely. Scrub car-
rot and celery; peel onions and parsnip:
chop fine. Bring stock to boil and add
vegetables; simmer, covered, 20 mi

эи;

ture

Add cabbage, tomato, sugar and garlic
on a toothpick, so it can be retrieved
before serving. Simmer 15 minutes or
until cabbage is just render. Taste before
adding salt and. pepper, as the stock in-
gredients can be quite salty. Top each
serving with heaping spoonful sour cream
and sprinkling dill.

т more vivid color, grate 1⁄4
w beet and soak in 2 tablespoons water.
Drain, pressing out all liquid with
of spoon; add to pot just before serving.

SALSIFY COTE BASQUE.

A favorite of La Cóte Basque's man-
Albert Spalter, and of the restau-
savvy clientele, as well.
ап (15 ozs.) salsify

2 ozs. sweet butter

Salt, pepper, to taste

3 tablespoons fresh chives or fines

herbes, minced.

Veal stock or Saucier Glace de Viande

Empty contents of can into strainer
and rinse under cold water. Dr well;
pat dry with paper towels. Heat butter
in lOin. skillet over fairly high heat.
When lightly brown, add nd sauté
until golden—about 5 minutes. Shake
pan constantly. Add salt, pepper. chives
or fines herbes; mix quickly and serv

For special occasions, chef Laverne
sauces the dish with reduced veal stock,
rarely available in home kitchens. You
can get similar results with the new
frozen Saw апас. Add
2oz cup to pam just before scasonin,
When heated. through, add salt, pepper,
chives. Stir well. Generally served with
ken or veal at La Cóte Basque.

sify

JICAMA TEQUILIANA

Jicama (he-kama) is а Mes
port that’s becoming better known in
the United States. It's a juicy, mild, cris]
vegetable that retains its texture when
cooked: e the Chinese w:
What's more, jicama is low calories
and relatively inexpensive—a combina-
tion of virtues that’s hard to resist.

1 Ib. jicama

1 tablespoon salt.

14 teaspoon chili powder

Light sprinkle cumin

Dash cayenne

Lime wedges

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PLAYBOY

254

NOT ALL THARE MEAD CASSETTE DECKS ARE CREATED EQUAL.

Some manufacturers have designed their decks with
separate erase. record and playback heads primarily for
convenience. So you can tape monitor as you record.

But our new KX-1030 uses separate heads primarily for
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As a result, the KX-1030 has a frequency response of
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And to let you take full advantage of the separate record
and playback heads, the KX-1030 has a Double Dolby”
system with separate circuits for the record amplifier and the
playback preamplifier. That way, as you record with Dolby,
you can also tope monitor with Dolby, so you hear the
sound precisely as it’s being recorded.

The KX-1030 also has a Variable Bias Adjustment

Control and a built-in oscillator. so you can adjust the
exact bias for the type or brand of tope you use.

We also built in a number of other features like MIC/LINE
mixing. memory rewind and a peak indicalor.

But as good as ali this sounds. wait until you hear the price.
Becouse ot $37500**, no other cassette deck can match
the performance and features of our new KX-1030.

Of course. the only way you're really going іо appreciate
ihe KX-1030 is to visit your Kenwood dealer. Once you do,
you'll be convinced: Performance, convenience. and value
set the KX-1030 apart from alll the rest.

“Dolby is the trademark of Dolby Laboratories. Inc.
“Nationally advertised value. Actual prices are established by
Kenwood dealers.

KENWOOD

For the Kenwood Dealer nearest you, see your yellow pages,
or write Kenwood, 15777 S. Broadway, Gardena, CA 90248

Wash and peel jicama. Cut into bite-
size picces, roughly 1 in. x 14 in. Com-
bine salt, chili, cumin and cayenne in
dish. Feel free to usc more or less of any
ingredient, depending on your taste. The
procedure is to rub jicama with cut side
of lime, dip into seasoning mixture and
munch—with a shot of cold tequila to
send it home.

SEVEN HAPPINESS SALAD

2 thin slices fresh gingerroot

2 tablespoons cider vinegar

2 tablespoons soy sauce

2 tablespoons sugar

114 tablespoons sesame oil

1 Ib. fresh lotus root

1 small bunch water cress

Combine first 5 ingredients in salad
bowl. Stir well to dissolve sugar: set aside.
Bring water up to boil. Prepare separate
pan of salted, cold water. Trim and peel
lotus root; cut horizontally into thin
slices, hopping them into salted water.
Pour out water, then cover lotusroot
slices with boiling water; let stand 4 to 5
minutes. Meanwhile, wash cress thorough
ly and trim stems; drain well. Rinse lotus
slices under cold water; drain well. Com-
bine vegetables with prepared dressing;
tos well. Chill about 14 hour

MAXWELL'S PLUM'S HORSERADISH SAUCE

The hip singles at Manhattan's Max-
wel's Plum like this sauce with prime

ribs, boiled beef and poultry. If you've
never tasted it, go easy; it’s quite sharp!
1 Spanish onion, chopped fine

1 cup white-wine vinegar
3 cups rich beef stock or bouillon
1 teaspoon salt, or to taste

1⁄4 teaspoon white pepper

3 tablespoons butter

3 tablespoons flour

3 tablespoons sour cream, at room teni-

perature

% cup grated fresh horseradish
1 teaspoon lemon juice

In saucepan, heat onion with

inegar
until almost all vinegar has evaporated.
Add stock, salt, pepper and simmer on
low heat until cooked down to half orig-
Melt butter over low heat
in large skillet. Stir in flour and blend
thoroughly. (This paste is known as a
roux in French kitchens.) Remove from
soned
stock. Return to heat and simmer 20-30
minutes more, Stir in sour cream. Taste
for seasoning; strain. Stir in horseradish;
add lemon juic

inal volume.

heat and slowly stir in beef

erve warm,

THANKSGIVING SWEETS

Put chestnuts in sweet potatoes, instead
of turkey,
You can roast your own, of course, but
it’s hardly worth the bother.

for agrecable change of taste.

4 medium sweet
peeled, sliced

3 cooking apples, peeled, thinly sliced

1 cup Minerve marrons or other dry-
roasted chestnuts, coarsely crumbled

34 cup brown sugar

1 teaspoon grated orange rind

1⁄4 cup butter

2 tablespoons dark rum

Set oven at 3509. Lightly butter shal-

baking pan. Combine

orange rind, Arrange layer of sweet po

tato on bottom of pan; cover with layer

of apples. Sprinkle with chestnuts and

brown-sugar mixture; dot with butte

Repeat until all ingredients are used,

finishing with topping of sugar and

butter. Sprinkle with rum. Bake, covered,

about 40 minutes, then another 10 min

utes uncovered. Worthy of any Thanks-

giving bird

potatoes, cooked,

low sugar and

SAVORY CELERY-ROOT SALAD

Though usually boiled, cele
licious

ac is de-
1. The hard, young

in a si
roots are best; the older ones tend to lose
their snap. Serve with rémoulade sauce,
mustard cream, vinaigrette or tangy
dressing piven below.

1 Ib. celeriac (celery root)

14 cup mayonnaise

14 cup yoghurt

1 teaspoon Dijon mustard

И teaspoon Coleman's (dry) mustard

1 teaspoon chopped fresh dill weed
or cilantro

Yj teaspoon salt

Chopped parsley

Paprika

Peel celeriac, removing all fibrous ma-
terial. Cut into quarters; remove core if
woody. Drop pieces into acidulated water
(1 pint cold water, 2 tablespoons lemon
juice). Combine mayonnaise, yoghurt,
mustards, dill weed and salt: set aside.
Coarsely shred celeriac on mandoline or
cut into matchstick widths. Taste dressing
and correct seasoning; there should be
noticeable tang of mustard. Add squirt
lemon juice or dash white wine if it

seems too dense. Toss celeriac in dressing,
making sure all pieces are coated. Chill
in refrigerator about an hour. Serve їп
lettuce cups; sprinkle each portion with
parslcy and paprika.

STUFFED TURNIPS GRATINEE,
4 large white turnips

Salt

14 cup butter

14 cup chopped onion

1 tomato, pecled, chopped

spoon, sugar
4 teaspoon caraway seeds

Shredded Swiss cheese, for topping

Parsley

Peel turnips, remove centers to leave
shells about 14 in. thick. Chop turnip
removed from centers Cook shells in
boiling salted water 30 minutes or until
just tender. Di
3509. In large skillet, melt butter. Add
onion and reserved chopped turnip; cook
until tender. Remove from heat. Add 1
teaspoon salt, tomato, cheese, nuts, sugar,
caraway seeds and pepper. Lightly sprin-
kle insides of turnip shells with salt and
fill with vegetable-checse mixture. Sprin-
Ке tops with additional shredded cheese.
Place in baking dish and cover. Bake 15
minutes. Garnish with parsley sprigs.

Note: Turnips may also be cooked
whole, hollowed out, then heaped with
minted buttered carrots or petits pois.

in and cool. Set oven at

WHOLE BABY CARROTS A LA CREME

1 Ib. whole baby carrots (or frozen baby
carrots)

4 tablespoons butter

14 teaspoon salt

16 teaspoon brown sugar

% teaspoon dried tarragon

2 tablespoons heavy cream

Parsley

Scrape carrots. Melt butter in deep
heavy skillet. Add carrots and salt. Cover
pan; cook over low heat, shaking pan
occasionally, until carrots are just tender.

Do not let them brown. Uncover, add
sugar, tarragon and cream. Cook until
cream heats through and reduces slightly.
Garnish with parsley sprigs.

SOUTHERN YAM SOUFFLE

6 medium yams
5 tablespoons butter
¥, cup orange juice

% cup chopped onion
Salt, pepper, to taste
16 teaspoon nutmeg

4 eggs, separated

1 egg white

Sook yams in boiling water to cover
for ?0 minutes or until soft. Cool, peel
and mash smooth in large bowl. Add 4
tablespoons butter and orange juice; mix
well. Melt 1 tablespoon butter in small
skillet, add onion and cook until tender;
add to yams with salt, pepper and nut-
meg. Beat in egg yolks, one at a time. In
large mixing bowl, beat egg whites with
pinch salt until stiff but not dry. Stir
about М of the egg whites into yam

mixture, gently fold in rest. Turn into
greased 1-quart souflé dish. Bake in
375° over 50 minutes or until mixture
puffs aud is lightly browned.

The subject of roots is so intriguing
one could write а book about it. But

then, what would you call it?

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BUNNIES (continued from page 117)

“They may look soft, but on the diamond these girls are
savage, especially if they're pitching for a good cause.”

Japanese have taken kindly to the world
of Playboy. The Japanese edition of the
magazine is a success, and any day we
expect to see the first transistorized Bun-
ny Work is in progress on
story, $50,000,000-plus hotel compl
Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Right now, excitement centers on the
annual Bunny of the Year contest, сш
rently in progress; keyholders filled out
ballots for their favorites in late August.
If for nothing else, 1977 will be rei
bered as the year the Bunny got the vot
For the time, we allowed cottont:

ill appear in the Bunny of the Year
pageant. Who will wear the gold outfit
of the Inter 1 Bunny of the Year?
Stay tuned.

Whoever the winner is, she deserves
your support. Being a Bunny is not an
casy job. The girls deal with a variety of
tasks that would baffle the ordinary work-
cr. Those at the Phoenix Club, for exam-
ple, had to handle sell-out crowds last
summer for a series of jazz concerts featur-
ing Margo and Francine Reed. That was
nothing compared with the job facing the
couontails at Lake Geneva, which this

year opened a festival fairgrounds. There
the Pieper Road Spring Band Bluegrass
Jamboree featured Bill Monroe, Ralph
Stanley and The Clinch Mountain Boys.
J- D. Crowe and the New South, the
Country Gendemen and The Pieper Road
Spring Band. Say that three
On Labor Day, Lake Geneva Bu
celebrated the end of the s
concert by Blood, Sweat and Tears

Meanwhile, back at the hutch, the Den-
ver Club held a talent hunt every Tuesday

and Thursday night: a kind of Bunny
Gong Show. In Detroit, keyholders were
treated to Bic Carroll's Feathers and Girls
revue. The Chicago Club featured Pouff—
а musical revue—and Playboy's Angels 77
with Paula Ramsey.
Bunnies showed th
music in other м:
Cincinnati took to the soft
10 raise money for the Cinci
phony. They won, of course. Bun
ways do. They may look soft, but on the
diamond these girls are savage, esper
if they're pitching for а good
Teams of them took to the softball field
in several cities for charities such as the
American Cancer Society and The March

commitment to

: The cottontails of
ll. diamond

“Deep down, I believe there isa higher intelligence
screwing up the world,"

of Dimes In Phoenix, te Bunnics
trounced a team of colonels (rank has its
privileges) from nearby W
Force Base. The cause—a camp for under-
privileged kids. Great Gorge Bunnies
bested a team of state troopers to raise
money for the Fresh Air Fund. M.
Price of the St. Louis Club explains the
Bunny strategy for victory: "Well, first,
the other team has to play by our rules.
When we tell a girl to hold a man at sec
1, she holds a man at second. As а rule,
always have a girl on third in a scoring
position. How she gets there is a state se-
cret. Sometimes, she goes directly to third,

we have a great defensive s
girl on the field has a glove and а ball. No
matter where the batter hits the pitch, it's
asy throw to first.”

Softball is not the only sport mastered
by the cottontails. Bunny Heather at the
St. Louis Club is a foosball champion
who wil take on all comers. In New
York, the foursome of Sarita Butterfield,
Tammy Marazzo, Debra Richmond and
Sybil Englert has conquered golf courses
for the Ame: cer Society.

And then there's backgammon. At the
Lake Geneva Resort in August, Bunnies
eagerly observed Dominic Freud teaching
interested parties the secrets of the game.
If the name sounds familiar, you're right.
Dominic is the grandson of Sigmund
Freud, the father of modern psychiatry.
Let's see; that makes Dominic the son of
modern psychiatry?

If you think that being a Bunny
24-hour job, you're probably

there are a few girls who manage to
develop outside interests. In Miami,
Chris McNeil and Laura Stewart have
gotten into С.В. radio. Chris, whose

handle is the

aygo s the terror of

SES com-

Stewart,
horse =endiwhen shee nom riding then
around Miami, she talks to the world
from the front seat of her Dodge pickup.
(She has yet to find a way to mount C.B.
gear on her horse.)

5, these are great girls, We'd espe
cially like to commend the Bunnies of
the New York Club, who
Great Blackout with calm and sl
one survivor, “Well, you've got to re
that the New York Club is fairly dark to
begin with—for intimacy. At first, no one
Since all of

noticed the loss of power.
the Bunnies сапу flashlights, we were
able to cyacuate the keyholders without
any problem. Then we climbed seven
floors to the roof of the building to watch
New York. It looked like a ghost town.
Seven floors. We keep these girls i

BASKETBALL PREVIEW

(continued from page 176)

last season. so the Dukes will be a much
more experienced team.

Rutgers’ cage fortunes will depend
largely on the skills of James Bailey and
Hollis Copeland. Bailey, a dunking spe
cialist, showed flashes of brilliance last
season. Copeland has all the skills to be-
come a fine pro player but needs to
become consistent.

With four of last year's top five scorers
returning, the George Washington team

THE EAST
EASTERN EIGHT
1. Villanova 5. George
2. Massachusetts Washington
3. Duquesne 6. West Virginia
4. Rutgers 7. Penn State
£. Pittsburgh
IVY LEAGUE
1. Princeton 5. Brown
2. Pennsylvania 6. Cornell
3. Columbia 7. Yale
4. Harvard 8. Dartmouth
EAST COAST CONFERENCE
1. Lafayette 7, Lehigh
2. Temple & Drexel
3. La Salle $. Bucknell
4. Hofstra 10. Rider
5. Delaware 11. American
6. West Chester 12, St. Joseph's
State
INDEPENDENTS
1. Holy Cross 11. Connecticut
2. Syracuse 12. Manhattan
3. Providence 13. Navy
4. St. Bonaventure 14. Boston College
5. St. John's 15. lona
6. Georgetown 16. William & Mary
T. Army 17. St. Francis
8. Old Dominion 18. Virginia
9. Niagara Commonwealth

10. Seton Hall 19, Canisius

TOP PLAYERS: Herron (Villanova); Ру
(Massachusetts); Drinks (Duquesne); Bailey,
Copeland (Rutgers); Anderson (George Wash-
ington); Robinson (West Virginia}, Miller
(Penn State); Harris (Pittsburgh); Sowinski
(Princeton); Byrd (Columbia); Ness (Lafa-
yetle); Serser (West Chester State}; Ste-
phens (Drexel); Barry (Bucknell), Репу,
Potier (Holy Cross); Orr, Bouie (Syracuse):
Misevicius (Providence); Sanders (St. Bon-
aventure); Johnson (St. John's); Jackson,
Shelton (Georgetown); Winton (Army); Valen-
tine (Old Dominion); Allen (Niagara); Tynes,
Galis (Seton Hall); Whelton (Connecticut);

Grant (Manhattan); Sinnett, Kuzma (Navy);
Ruland (lona); Lowenhaupt (William &
Mary); Figueroa (St. Francis); Henderson
(Virginia Commonwealth).

will put a 10: of points on the board this
winter. Sharpshooter John Holloran has
graduated, but heralded transfer Bob
Lindsey should ably fill the рар.

The West Virginia team was dismem-
bered by graduation. Fortunately, super-
star center Maurice Robinson remains.
Most of his teammates will be green but
talented. Dennis Hosey is the best of the
recruits and could win a starting berth.

Penn State suffered from lack of size

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257

PLAYBOY

258 combinatio

and suength in the front court last sea-
son, but that problem will be solved by
three 68" rookies, freshmen Frank Brick-
owski and Mike Ice and transfer Gary
Korkowski. The guard corps remains in-
coach John Bach can strength-
ot play, the Nittanies could be
the surprise team of the league.

Everybody returns to a Pittsburgh team
that was dominated last year by freshmen
Ч sophomores, several of whom showed
flashes of brilliance. They'll be joined by
pair of prize recruits who could im-
mediately mend the Panth nesses.
Rugged freshman Sam Clancy should al-
leviate last year's rebounding woes and
junior college transfer Gary Smith should
add muscle and scoring punch under the
basket. Steady senior Larry Harris will
be one of the top scoring forwards in i
country this winter.

Princeton will again dominate the Ivy
League. Only one starter is missing from
t year’s 21-5 team that led the nation
in defense. The Tigers top gun will
ink Sowinski. He has incred-
ible long-range shooting accuracy.

If Princeton should falter, either Penn-
sylvania or Columbia could take the
league crown. Pennsylvania lost only
two starters from а sophomorc-dominated
squad, so the Quakers will profit from
added maturity. Multitalented Keven
McDonald will again be the top offensive
threat.

‘The Columbia team was unscathed by
graduation and will be reinforced by two
quality sophs. Kevin Best and John Mc-
Elaney, plus the return (afte i
absence) of Ed Shockley- Guard Alton
Byrd, at 38”, is a spectacular player who
dominates the tempo and style of play
in games.

Three sophomore starters from last
years Brown team will be joined by an
cellent new crop of sophs to give the
Bruins a quality stable of athletes. Per-
haps some of last year's close losses ca
be turned into dose wins.

Yale's superleaper Carnell Cooper ha
graduated, along with four other squad
members, Icaving a dearth of talent. Four
promising sophs will improve the team's
speed and ball handling, but this looks
like it will be the Y s' tenth losing
season in a row.

Despite the rigors of its most difficult
schedule ever, Lafayette should win its
fourth straight East Coast Conference
title. New head coach Roy Chipman mu:
find a center to replace graduated. Kr
Grundberg and shore up the weak de-
fensive play.

Temple, on the other hand, has a
strong defense, but the team's rebound-
ing skills leave much to be desired.

The La Salle team will be paced by
forward Michael Brooks, who was one of
the country’s most impressive. freshmen
last winter. Darryl Gladden and Kurt
Kanaskie а dynamite backcourt

The Hofstra t
graduation, so it's back to the drawing
boards for coach Roger Gaeckler. Two
freshmen (Gary Cheslock and Doug
Swanson) and transfer (from Hawaii, yet)
Henry Hollinsworth should earn stai
ing jobs.

Lehigh is rebuilding at a startling
pace. Only 1-23 two years ago, the Еп
gineers have a good chance to post thei
first winning scason since 1968.

‘The atmosphere at Holy Cross is heavy
with euphoria and optimism. Nearly
everyone returns from last year's team,
which won three tournaments, posted the
most wins (23) in 23 years, set a school
scoring record and finished eighth na-
tionally. The returnees will be rejomed
by onetime starting center John O'Gon
hor (out much of Jast season with an
jury) and Leo Kane, who missed last
season but who was a starter as а fresh-
man. Coach George Blaney also recruited
three blue chippers, Garry Wits, Tom
Seaman and Dave Mulquin. И every-
thing falls into place, the Crusaders could
be one of the half-dozen best teams
the country.

The Syracuse team should at least du-
plicate its 26-4 record of a уе: Phe
Louie and Bouie act (Louis От
Roosevelt Bouie) is a year older and wiser
after its sensational freshman debut. Two
newcomers, Marty Headd and Ed
Moss, will contribute much their first
year. Headd could give the Orangemen
the consistent outside shooting they
lacked last ter. The schedule is tough:
cr and there is lack of experience in the
backcourt, but look for Syracuse to wind
up in the postseason play-offs.

Providence's graduation losses were
few (Joe Hassett and Bob Cooper), but
they were staggering. The Friars’ success

is year will be largely dependent on the
play and leadership of their excellent
senior front court, center Bob Misevicius
d forwards Bill Eason and Bruce
mpbell. Campbell, especially, mu
fill his long-predicted (but. as yet unful
filled) destiny of greatness.

St. Bonaventure will have a high.
scoring team, but the rebounding may be
inept. Tim Waterman can help solve that
problem if he plays this year like he did
in the National Invitation Tournament.
Keep an eye on deadeye shooter Greg
Sanders—his accuracy from the floor is
breath-taking.

George Johnson will probably break
all of St. John’s career scoring and re
bounding records his final year. His sup-
porüng cast will feature many new
aces. Best of the newcomers are transfers
and Bernard Rencher,
nk Gilroy and Wayne

McKoy.

"The Georgetown team faces the tough-
st schedule in the school’s history, but
13 veterans are returning, including All-
America candidates Derrick. Jackson and
Craig Shelton. Jackson is one of the

couatry’s premier guards and Shelton can
dominate a game when he's healthy. He
should provide the muscle and inside
scoring punch the Hoyas needed so badly
while he was out with injurics last year.
Army won 20 games last season and
should do even bener this time, because
the line-up returns intact. Third-year
coach Mike Krzyzewski has done a ma
terful job of rebuilding the Cadets’ cage
fortunes; the year before he took over,
they won only three games. The key man
is Gary Winton, who
е career and sea-

son scoring leader.

Top scorer Ronnie Valentine returns
t Old Dominion, but four of
other starters have departed. Welcome
reinforcement will come from wansfers
Larry Orton and Tony Ellis.

Niagara combines a wealth of expe-
rienced players (best of whom is Vern
Allen) with an excellent crop of new-
comers, providing the Purple Eagles with
а deep and talented squad that could
challenge Syracuse and St. Bonaventure
for the mythical championship of Upstate
New Yor

Best news at Seton Hall is the arrival
of sharpshooting freshman John Davis.
Two other frosh, Andy Arrington and
Tony Massaro, will give the Pirates much
needed height. The team leaders will
gain be superguards Greg Tynes and
Nick Calis.

completion of its new campus gymnasium.
As before, the Jaspers will be led by
an Steve Grant. Either of two
newcomers, Sergio Bardaji or Jo-Jo Wal-
ters, could win a starting job.

Navy enjoyed a 13—11 record last win-
ter, its best showing in 15 years, The
Middies two main threats, Hank Kuzma
nd Kevin Sinnett, are back, along with
most of their supporting cast. Ergo, this

could be an even better year in An-
napolis.
New Boston College coa

ich Tom Davis
has recruited an impressive group of
freshmen as his first step in turning the
Eagles’ cage fortunes around. Best of the
rookies are Vin Caraher and Carl Bald-
win. Davis will haye to find some ac
curate shooter among the youngsters if
his team is to show much improvement
this season.

Little Iona College landed one of the
most soughtafter prep players in the
country, 6/9", 225-pound forward Jeff Ru-
land. He's the kind of player who can

nake an ordinary team into a very good

Big Ten this year, with Michigan and
Minnesota not far behind. Purdue i
loaded with experience and expe
that the recruits will have few chances to
play. Seniors Walter Jordan, Eugene

“Now, you understand, Jeeves, only the for eplay.”

PLAYBOY

Parker and Wayne Walls have started
virtually every Big Ten game since com-
ing to Purdue. Jordan, the emotional
leader of the team, is poison if the de-
fense lets him get the ball with his back
to the basket. Sophomore center Joe
Barry Carroll—a seven-footer—will play
full time this winter and his potential

THE MIDWEST

BIG TEN

6. Michigan State.
7. Wisconsin
8. Illinois.

1. Purdue
2. Michigan
3. Minnesota
4, Іона 8. Ohio State
5. Indiana 10. Northwestern

MID-AMERICAN CONFERENCE

7. Northern.
Illinois

8. Bowling Green
Eestem
Michigan

10, Kent State

‚ Miami
Toledo.

. Central Michigan
Western
Michigan
Ball State

Ohio University

INDEPENDENTS:

Marquette 5. Loyola
Notre Dame Е DePaul
.. Detroit 7. Dayton
. Illinois State 8, Xavier

TOP PLAYERS: Jordan, Parker (Purdue); Hub-
bard (Michigan); Thompson (Minnesota);
Lester (lowa); Woodson (Indiana); Kelser
(Michigen State); Gregory, Matthews Wis-
consin); Matthews (Illinois); Williams, Page
(Ohio State); Aldridge (Miami); Williams
(Toledo); Suus (Ohio University; McGhee
(Kent State); Lee, Whitehead (Marquette
Flowers (Notre Dame); Long, Tyler (Detroi
Lewis (Illinois State); Wakefield (Loyol
Corzine (DePaul); Paxon (Dayton).

boggles the minds of his coaches. Fresh-
Roosevelt Barnes (though he won't
t to play much this year) has ап im-
pressive future.

Michigan will be an especially interest-
ing team to watch, because last year's
weaknesses—few as they were—could be-
come this season's strengths. The Wolver-
ines will be slower, but with the addition
of fabulous 6710”, 265-pound Mike Rob-
inson, there will be more muscle to
compensate for less speed. If cither of
two 18-carat freshmen, M McGce and
Johnny Johnson, can nail down а for-
ward opposite Playboy All-
Phil Hubbard, the scoring and
ing from the front court wi
Coach Johnny On's main
problem will be the blending of all that.
awesome new talent with the old.

Much of Minnesota's success this wi
ter will depend on how quickly and effec-
tively the backcourt can be rebuilt.
Osborne Lockhart is the only veteran
guard on the squad, but an impressive
oup of rookies will provide plenty of
raw talent. The Gopher front line, with
Dave Winey, Kevin McHale and Playboy
All-America center Mike Thompson, is
one of the best—and tallest—in the
tion. Any (or all) of three sterling ne

260 comers, Ricky Wallace, James Jackson

and Brian Pederson, could crack the
starting line-up before the winter snows
melt.

With a little luck, Iowa could make a
serious challenge for the Big Ten title.
ight of last year's top ten players are
back, including four starters. All of the
eight still have at least two years of
igibility remaining, so the Hawkeyes will
stay a young team.
Ronnie Lester is a brilliant and exci
who should be a consensus All-
а before he graduates.

The Ind
surely knows, h
than East German
superstar Kent Benson further depleted
the Hoosier squad. This will, therefore,
be a rather green (albeit talented) crew.
There is also an impressive collection of
rookies on hand to fill out the ranks.
шее of the new faces are center Ray
Tolbert (who looks like the best candi-
date to fill Benson's shoes) and Phil
barger (brother of football-famed

Big Ten teams, had a fruitful recruiting
year. This was especially fortunate for
the Spartans, because their bench was all
but useless last season, With more talent,
and depth, this should be a turn-
а усаг. Two of the better recruits,
d Jay Vincent, are

ms, was the top score
lic school

Wisconsin will be the most improved
team in the Big Ten. Unfortunately, aft-
er a 9-18 season, the Badgers
long way to go. Four freshmen were
starters most of last winter and they came
on strong toward the end of the cam-
paign. To this accrued experience, add
two prize recruits—center Larry Petty
and guard Wesley Matthews—and the
future is dazzling in Madison.

Although everyone returns at. Illinois,
a tough nonconference schedule wi
make it difhcult for the Шин to win
more than half their games. This will
probably be the best shooting t
school history, and with the advei
freshmen Eddie Johnson
Smith. the rebounding (|
weakness) should be much improved. К
а team leader emerges (none was ар
ent last winter) the Illini could SE a
sleeper team.

Lack of height was Ohio St
doing last year, but coach Eldon Miller
landed
cruiting season. Herbie Willia
was generally regarded
center in the land 1 1
Smith (6/9") is so aggressive he could play
for Woody Hayes. Add to that awesome
twosome four other high school blue
chippers (best of whom is Kenny Page,
potentially the best outside shooter in the
country) and you get an idea of why foot-

ball may not always be the main spec-
tator sport i mbus.

Northwestern lost both its best offen-
nd its best defensive players from
5 7-20 squad, so the ones re-
have to learn to play more
s supporting actors. The
nce factor will be much better
this scason and rookie guard Rod Rober-
son will be a big help.

‘The Miami n will be motivated by
resentment left over from last season's
frustrating experience: The Reds
were cochampions with Central Michi
of the Mid-American Conference but
(having lost twice during the season to
Central Michigan) were snubbed by the
postscason tournaments, With four start-
ers returning, the Redskins should take
it all this year.

Miami's principal challengers for the
conference crown will be Toledo and
Central Michiga Although Toledo
won't have the stifling defense it had a
усаг ago, the scoring will be better. The
Rockets still need a true center and the re-
bounding (or lack of it) will again be
а problem. Ted Williams is one of the
better offensive players anywhere.

Central. Michigan lost too much talent

i n last year's
ng line-up will be
strong, but some of the taller reserves
must show major improvement if the
pewas are to have adequate rebound-

Although Western Michigan won't be
able то replace graduated star Tom Cut-
ter, the Broncos will be much more ©
perienced and will have better outside
shooting. Best of the newcomers are Dave
Stavale and Todd Dietrich.
all State coach Steve Yoder, conscious
team’s numerous deficiencies, re-
cd at least four new players who
could bc starters this year, even. though
yer is gone from last year's
dy Boarden (who has great
5 the only returning starter

potenti
whose job seems secure from the new-

comers.

Ohio University, also with all but one
squadman returning, will have much bet-
ter (and much needed) height this season
with the arrival of freshman John Patter-
son and transfer Brewer Gray, plus the
return of Jim Marhulik from the in-
jured list.

The Northern Illinois team suffered
from woeful outside shooting last winter,
but that ailment will likely be cured by
the finest crop of re

Steve McCuiston.
Green, hi мей all
the imaginative and ме ways to
lose games last season, will probably set-
ue down and win a few of the close ones
this winter. The Falcons will have to
learn to live without graduated super-
star Tommy Harris, but the arrival of
transfer George Marshall and freshman

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PLAYBOY

John Flowers will help cushion the blow.

Graduation devastated the Eastern
Michigan team, with three of the top
four scorers among the missing. Fortu-
nately, three bluechip transfers, Gary
Green, Al Cicotte and Tony Jamison,
will provide immediate help.

‘The Kent State team will again be led
by Burrell McGhee, a superb offensive
player who would receive national rec-
ognition if he played for a “name” team.

AI McGuire, Marquette’s colorful mas-
ter of ceremonies, has retired from
coaching, leaving the reins до Hank Ray-
monds, his assistant for the past 13 years.
Irs а tough situation for Raymonds, а
pleasant, folksy type; not only must he
replace the flamboyant McGuire but he
also inherits the defending national-
championship team and there's nowhere
to go but down. Raymonds, however, is
a shrewd and resourceful coach. He has
most of last scason's top ten players
(three starters and the three top reserves)
returning, and superrecruit Odell Ball (a
wansfer from Kent State) will add his
skills to the already impre: а
bank. Any team with the services of two
such players as Playboy All-America guard
Butch Lee and center Jerome Whitehead
(one of the na dominant big men)
can't lose m games. Marquette, in
short, has an excellent. chance to retain
its national championship.

Notre Dame's major weakness last sea-
son was the lack of a big, dominating
pivot man. That problem will be solved
by the return to duty of 611" center Bill
Laimbeer, who sat out last year. The Irish.
also need better depth, which, it’s hoped,
will be supplied by the incoming fresh-
men. The rebounding, among the best in
the п last season, could be even bet-
ter this time. Playboy All-America Bruce
Flowers may be the best defensive player
in the country. No one, therefore, is going
to score freely against Nowe Dame; and
if the Irish can generate a little more
team speed, they'll be in the thick of the
I-championship race.

Dewoit will again have an awesome
scoring machine. The Titans are fast and
deep. Best of all, it is a squad that bub
m and confidence, and
l the imagination of the
entire city. Dennis Boyd is the only major
loss from Hast year and he will be ade-
quately replaced by either Wilbert Мс

Cormick or freshman Kevi Tery
Duerod, an explosive streak shooter,
should win national renown his last two

ycars in school.
Illinois State lost seven-foot intimidator
Jeff Wilkins to graduation, a serious set-
back for any team. He will be rey
by another seven-footer, Joe Galvin,
by Roy Herold, a 6/8" import from Fi
land. Another gem-quality prospect is
coach Gene Smithsons son Randy. If

262 everything falls into place, the Redbirds

could be nationally ranked by season's
end.

Both Loyola and neighbor DePaul lost
only one starter from last season, so both
teams will be much improved by experi-
ence alone. Loyola of Chicago lacked
only bench strength and a good tall play-
г. Both needs were filled by
в bonanza. Best of the rookie
611” transfer Chester Giles. After а
break-even season last winter (its best
showing in seven years), the Loyola team
should post a winning record, despite a
tough schedule.

DePaul's big gun is 611” center Dave
Corzine, who could become a consensus
All-America if his playing style were a
more aggressive. He will probably
become DePaul’s all-time leading scorer
before he graduates.

With just one more good big man, the
Dayton team would have won 20 or more
games last season. Nearly everybody
turns, and either of two recruits, Jim
Rhoden or Richard Montague, could be
that needed player. Standout Jim Paxon
scems to do everything better than anyone
else. The Flyers’ immediate future looks
bright, except for one problem: the sched-
ule. It's a scorcher.

The Xavier team lacked shooting abil-
ity last winta now
solved by two g гоз sharpshoot-
ers, Gary Massa and Broderick Dow.
Other good news is that onetime regular
center Joe Sunderman, out last

with injuries, is now healthy. Let's hope
100.

the emotional climate is healed,
When things started to go bad last
ter, morale and discipline deteriorated,
and it was а very unhappy year for every-
one. If the Muskies can get their heads.
together, this could be the banner season
they were supposed to have a year ago.
б

The Adantic Coast Conference re-
mains—despite counterclaims of the Big
"Ten—the toughest league in the nation,
and North Carolina appears to be the
strongest team in the conference, as well
as the best bet to win the national
championship. The reasons evoke some
other superlatives: (1) Playboy All-Amer-
ica guard Phil Ford could be the best
player in college basketball and may be
the best pure point guard ever to play
the game; (2) Mike O'Koren was prob-
ably the best freshman in the country last
and plays he savvy of a senior;
d (3) Dean Smith is good enough to be
claimed Pravmov Coach of the Year,
The Tar Heels will miss three graduated
rters, to be sure, and the defensive game
id rebounding may suffer a bit, but the
ements are heavy on talent and
ed much valuable experience last year
as reserves. Freshman Al Wood is the only
newcomer with a chance to start.

Clemson, once a perennially horrible
icam, has been turned by coach Bill

Foster into a national power in only two
scasons. The Tigers should match last
winter's superb showing, largely because
of the return of leading scorer Stan Rome
and the arrival of new center John
Campbell.

Wake Forest will again have a plethora
of talented players, best of whom is
Playboy All-America forward Rod Griffin

THE SOUTH

ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE.

. North Carolina 5. Duke

. Clemson 6. Virginia
. Wake Forest 7. North Carolina
. Maryland State

SOUTHEASTERN CONFERENCE.

. Kentucky 6. Vanderbilt
Alabama 7. Tennessee

. Florida 8. Auburn

. LSU 9. Georgia

. Mississippi State 10. Mississippi

METROPOLITAN CONFERENCE

. Cincinnati 5, Georgia Tech

Memphis State — 6. St. Louis

- Louisville 7. Tulane
Florida State

OHIO VALLEY CONFERENCE

|. Middle 6. Western
Tennessee Kentucky.
. Austin Peay 7. Eastern
. Murray State Kentucky
East Tennessee 8. Tennessee Tech
. Morehead State

SOUTHERN CONFERENCE

. Furman 5. Chattanooga

. Virginia Military 6. Western
Appalachian. Carolina
State 7. Davidson

|. Marshall 8. The Citadel

INDEPENDENTS

|. North Carolina— 3. Virginia Tech
Charlotte 4. South Alabama
2. South Carolina 5. East Carolina

TOP PLAYERS: Ford, O'Koren (North Caro-
lina); Rome (Clemson); Griffin (Wake For-
est); King (Meryland); Spanarkel, Gminski,
Banks (Duke); lavaroni, Castellan, Lamp
(Virginia); Whitney, Austin (North Carolina
State); Givens, Robey (Kentucky); King
(Alabama); Bonner, Glasper (Florida); Higgs
(LSU); Brown, White (Mississippi State);
Davis, Elliott (Vanderbilt); Mitchell (Au-
burn); Mercer (Georgia); Miller (Cincinnati);
Wilson (Louisville); Thompson (Florida State);
Johnson (St. Louis); Zuniga (Tulane); Joyn
(Middle Tennessee); Howard (Austin Peay);
Stamper (Morehead State); Bryant (Western
Kentucky; Moore (Furman); Carter (VMI);
Yarbrough (Chattanooga); Gerdy (Davidson);
Massey (North Caroline—Charlotte); Graziano
(South Carolina); Mallard (South Alabama);
Mack (East Carolina).

Sophomore guard Frank Johnson looks
like a future great. Despite all the skilled
veterans on hand, three incoming frcsh-
men (Fran Mct n and
Wilbert Singleton) look good enough to
break into the starting lineup before
season's end.

How do you lose a pair of players
such as Steve Shapperd and Brad Davis
and still field as strong à team as last
year? Maryland coach Lefty Driesell has

apparently done it by retaining super-
sophs Jo Jo Hunter and Bill Bryant and
corralling Albert King, one of the two
most coveted high schoolers in the coun
try. Hunter and Bryant, superb as fresh-
men, should be even better after a year’s
experience, and King is onc of those
agnificently skilled recruits who can
make a good team into a great one from
the first game of their freshman year
The other most coveted of this year's
rectuits, Gene Banks, enrolled at Duke.
Banks, an excellent power forward. will
cure y of last season's team deficien-
cies. He will join Jim Spanarkel (prob-
ably the most underrated player in the
conference) and Mike Gminski (who, at
only 18, should be the premier center
in the league this winter. Banks and
three other newcomers, Bob Bender,
John Harrell and Kenny Dennard, will
solve last year's most severe shortcoming,
a lack of depth. Add it all up, and Duke
should be a greatly improved team,
Likewise Virginia. Cavalier coach Terry
nd had а banner recruiting
getting two superstuds, guard Jeff
Lamp and forward Lee Raker, from the
same high school (Louisville Ballard)
They'll help cure last year’s fatal flaw,
poor shooting. Defense will continue to
аз forte

be Virgi and the team will
be quicker and much more physically
imposing

The North Carolina State team would
likely be a preseason favorite in many
es, but it will do well to escape the
cellar in the Atlantic Coast. Conference.
The loss of Kenny Carr will be impos-
sible to overcome in one season and the
Wolfpack will again be inexperienced
(four of last winter's starters were new-
comets). Added seasoning for the re-
turnees, plus three recruits (Kendal
Pinder, Art Jones and Ken Matthews)
who are good cnough to be instant start
ers, could make the Wolfpack a sleeper
team. It is also, like Virginia, an emotion-
ally closeknit squad, so look for both
teams to come on strong by the end of
the season,

Kentucky, loaded with talent and expe-
rience, may have its strongest-ever team.
The only serious graduation loss was
guard Lamy Johnson, but he will be
more than adequately replaced by Kyle
Macy, a transfer from Purdue, Two other
newcomers, Scot Courts and Chuck Alek-
sinas (both 6'10"), will add to the already
impressive depth. Aleksinas, who couples
unbelievable strength with a deft shoot-
ing touch, could displace one of the
veteran starters before the winter is over.

If Kentucky falters (ап unlikely event
with all that depth). Alabama will have
the best shot at the Southeastern Con-
ference championship. The Crimson Tide
has been one of the nation’s more suc-
cessful teams the past six years, pri-
marily because of sound defensive play
(man to man, with a great deal of press-
ing) and an offensive concept built on

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” rather than * Nevertheless, an
occasional superstar emerges from the
group, and this year, as last, it will be
Reggie King.

lorida also emphasizes team play with
no superstars. One incoming freshman,
69" Reggie Hannah, threatens that con-
cept. He was the best catch in the best
recruiting year in school history. Add all
that new talent to returning Al Bonner
and Richard Glasper (last winter's top
offensive and defensive players, respec-
tively), and Florida could be the surprise
team of the Southeast before the season
is over

The LSU team will also be much im-
proved. Kenny Higgs, a do-everyt
type, returns, along with three oth:
шах who started as freshmen last ye
They will be reinforced by two incoming
frosh with glowing credentials, DeWayne
Scales and Willie Sims.

New ppi State coach Ron
Greene inherits a team that suffered min-
imal graduation losses. The Bulldogs
have the makings of a better-than-average
team if Greene fix the poor outside
shooting and the inept defense.
6/10” center Rickey Brown will don
the inside play and incoming freshman
Greg Grim could be a one-man solution
to the outside-shooting problem.
Vanderbilt will benefit from the return
f nine of last winters top ten pl
cluding Charles Davis, the te:
ing scorer and rebounder, who could
become the best forward in school his-
tory. He was one of three freshmen who
were starters last year, so the Commodores
will be much more seasoned. Despite all
the returnees, three incoming frosh, Brian
Allsmiller, Mike Rhodes and Pat Ber-
anger, are sufficiently skilled to usurp
starting jobs.

А severe regression of Tennessee's bas-
ketball fortunes seems inevitable. The
three most valuable players on last year’s
team are gone. Two of them, Bernard
King and Ernie Grunfeld, were first-
round pro-draft picks. The two remain-
B starters, John Darden and Reggie
Johnson, will face challenges from incom-
ing freshmen. The rookie contingent, in
fact, is so loaded with gem-quality pros-
pects that Vol fans may have wouble
recognizing their team by season's end.
Best of the newcomers is forward James
iff. who should be an immediate
starter.

Auburn's disappointing showing last
season was primarily due to the lack of a
big, dominating center (plus the puzzling
inability to win games on the home
count), The center problem will probably
he solved by the arrival of 6/9", 240-
pound freshman Bobby Слизве. Another
freshman, Earl Banks, will add some
needed scoring punch. If the good crop
of rookies grows up quickly, Auburn
could have the banner was sup-
posed to have—but didn't—last year.

Georgia was the sad-sack team of the

Their

asc

S.E.C. Jast winter, largely because of an
unbelievable seasontong seizure of injur-
ies. With a presumably healthier squad
and some additional talent, the Bull-
dogs should recapture their respectabil-
ity. Chief among the reinforcements are
Lucius Foster, who sat out last season,
and freshman Charles Carter. Аз soon as
guard Tony Flanagan reports for duty
after football season (he's а quarterback
for the grid ‘Dogs), Georgia will be capa-
ble of knocking off some of the confer-
ence biggies.

Ole Miss could have an improved
basketball team bur, because of a horren-
dous extraconference schedule, will have
less to show for it at season's end. The
Rebs will be a more settled squad aft
year under coach Bob Weltlich. Three
newcomers, Elston Turner, Larry Baldwin
and Chris Barrett, will see much action.

Four of Cincinnati's top six players

long with three others (Pat
Greg Johnson and Bobby
Sherlock) who sat out last season with
injurics. Cummings and Johnson will
combine with Bob Miller. one of the
remier centers, to give the Bear-
tly improved inside game. In-
freshmen Lionel Harvey and
dy will see a lot of action.

И Memphis State can find an adequate
replacement. for graduated Dexter Reed
(Darrell Hollimon seems the likelie
candidate), the Tigers will give Cincin-
пай a dose race for the Metropol
Conference championship. An outstand-
ing group of recruits, best of whom is

n Fromm, will give the Tigers
impressive depth.

Louisville lost superstar Wesley Cox,

i leading scorer, and suffered a
n reauiting усаг. Thus, both squad
depth and the team’s inside strength will
эшет.

Six of Florida State's top 11 players
last season were freshmen, so the Semi-
noles should be much improved by virtue.
of added experience. Only two squadmen
graduated, but both were guards. "Their
likely replacements are sophs Tony Jack-
son and Mickey Dillard.

Three of Georg ор five
players have departed, so most of the
ingredients of last year's surprising 18-10
finish will be missing. Some of the slack
will be taken up by the arrival of for-
ward Sammy Drummer, last season's
Junior College Player of the Year, but it.
will still be a rebuilding year in Atlanta.

St. Louis University, once one of the
premier basketball schools in the coun-
пу, has seen its team fall on bad times

coming
David Kenn

‘Tech's

in recent seasons. This year. it will be
different. New coach Ron Coleman, a per-
suasive recruiter, corralled three Mis-
souri all-state high schoolers (Ricky

Frazier, Mike Smith and Mark Alcorn),
plus junior college All-America Everne
Carr. They'll join seven of the Billikins

top ten players from last year to give

Coleman an impressive stable of talent

The immediate future looks grim at
Tulane. Last year’s team had poor de-
fense, poor poor shooting
and poor speed—and the two best players
from that te: iduated. Three
newcomers, Cr Eric Dozier
and Clarence will help, but the
s face a murderous schedule.
Middle Tennessee's only serious loss
from last season was Lewis Mack. Greg.
Armstrong, a transfer from Florida, will
be a more than adequate replacement.
Two other newcomers, John Sauer and
James Riley, will add much muscle to
the rebounding, last winter's only notice-
able weakness. Look for forward Greg
Joyner to become one of the nation’s
best during the next two years.

Although Austin Peay will have nearly
everyone back from last year's 24-4 team,
the Governors must adjust to new coach
Ed Thompson. The front line, featuring
Otis Howard, Calvin Garrett and. Gary
Greene, will again be awesome, Best of
the newcomers is Sterling Harris, the na-
tion's second-leading junior college scorer
last season.

The Murray State team will be deep,
experienced. and fast. If the Racers can
develop a respectable defense, and if
newcomers Bobo Jackson (a transfer
from North Caroli е) and Johnny
Thirdkill live up to their advance bill-

ings, the team will challenge Middle
Tennessee and Austin Peay for the
league title.

ast Tennessee and Morehead State
each have bumper crops of quality rook-
ies, so both teams will be a mixture of
seasoned veterans and raw recruits. How
well the old mixes with the new will
determine the fortunes of both teams.
Best of the newcomers are Charles Tha
East Tennessee and Terry Bemore

scuttled
Western Kentucky's fortunes last winter.
All five starters at season's end те.
turn, so the savvy factor will be much
better this time. Transfer Darryl Turner
looks good enough to displace one of the
vets,

Eastern Kentucky's hopes are based on
the return of four starters, plus the
arrival of superrecruit Lovell Joiner.

Tennessee Tech's defense, miserable
last year, will be much improved, but the
schedule is probably the toughest in
school history. Transfer Brian Troupe
will help give the Eagles better shoot

Furman is set to take the Southern
Conference championship from WMI.
The Paladins lost only one starter, who
will be more than adequately replaced
by high-scoring freshman Rodney Аг
uold. He, sharpshooting guard Bruce
Grimm and center Jonathan Moore (who
was sensational last year as a freshman)

will form a fearsome offensive combo.

VML lost its two all-time top scorers
to graduation, but sensational Ron Car-
ter (who should eclipse both of those
departecs before his career is over) re-
turns, along with two other starters. А
couple of freshmen, Dennis Johnson and
Marty Cristo, are good enough to become
immediate starters, but the bench will be
dangerously underpopulated.

App: hian State, with a little luck,
could usurp the league throne. The Apps
are а closeknit crew and they have one
of the better backcourts in the country.
High-scoring freshman Paul Keller
transfer Renaldo Lawrence will
large contributions their first year.

Marshall hi a new со:

(1-3-1 offense) and some good new play:
ers (best of whom are Greg White and
Ken Labanowski). The Herd.
to the Southern Conference and
have a new $19,000,000 area in which to
"The sweet smell of future success
ngs heavy in Huntington.

Chattanooga and Western Carolina
are also new to the Southern Conference.
Chattanooga won the ? A. Division
Two championship last winter, bur its
еппу into Division One play will be
dampened by the loss of five of last sca-
son’s top seven players.

Western Carolina was also guued by
graduation, but most of the departees

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PLAYBOY

266

weren't as talented as the incoming re-
cruits. Best of the new players is Gary
Plamondon.

Although nearly everyone returns at
Davidson, the Wildcats will still be ex-
tremely young and will face a masochistic
schedule. Guard John Gerdy is an All-
America-caliber player. Any or all of
three incoming frosh, Brad Walker, Rich
DiBenedetto and Chris Dodds, could
crack the starting lineup.

At The Citadel, the top seven scorers
and top four rebounders return from last
season. Point guard Randy Nesbit is the
у recruit with a good shot at making
the starting line-up.

The North Garolina-Charlotte team’s

in problem will be learning to pla
hout Cedric Maxwell and Melvin War-
s. both high pro-draft picks. The ad-
justment may not be so difficult, though,
because three skilled starters and four ex-
ced reserves return, along with two
ng freshmen, James George
corge Devone. Vi n Lew M
carry the scoring burden and soph Chad
K haking perime
should be even sharper.
South Carolina's 11-12 record last wi,
ter was its poorest showing in ten years.
‘abulous freshman Jim Graziano carried.
the team at center, though he would be
even more impressive at forward, He'll
probably have to be the pivot man
again, because the recruiting efforts didn't
men up a quality big man for the job.
The Gamecocks will still be а small team,
the bench strength questionable and the
schedule again awesome.

Although only two starters return at
Tech, the replac
good enough lor the Gobblers 10 retain
the excellence of the past two years. The
keys to the season will be how well Sim
Foggin plays the pivot position and how
quickly wo Wg new forwands,
and freshman David
their jobs.
ama was a very physical
starting a front line that
nd 225 pounds. The Jag-
with nearly everybody returning.
will be even bigger and tougher this time.
Freshman Ed Rains and transfers George
"Torres and Ronnie Davis will add much
scoring punch.

New coach Larry Gillman

East Carolina squad и
from internal problems last year. Gill-
man’s infectious enthusiasm will inject
new life into the team and a best-ever
crop of recruits will raise the talent level.
Junior college transfer Oliver Mack is the
most prized recruit ever to matriculate in
Greenville.

ich's. bre:

shooting

су over
t suffered

Although Kansas State is again the pre-
season favorite in the Big Eight champion-
ship race, the Wildcats will be facing the
same problem—lack of big me Their
success а усаг ago came despite a front
пе that featured three 65ers, two of

whom have since departed. The *
inue to be a super shooting 1
boy All-America guard Mike E
mmute Curtis Redding are amon
n's top marksmen, With c
average year (for him), Evans will wind

THE NEAR WEST

BIG EIGHT

5. Missouri

6. Oklahoma State
1. Nebraska

8 lowa State

SOUTHWEST CONFERENCE

Arkansas в. Baylor
Texas A & M 7. Southern.
. Texas Tech Meth d'st
- Houston 8 Rice
. Texas 8. Texas Chrislian

MISSOURI VALLEY CONFERENCE

1. Indiana State Б. Bradley

2. Creighton 7. Drake

3. Southern Minus 8. West Texas State
4. Wichita State 9. Tulsa

5. New Mexico State

INDEPENDENTS

3. Oklahoma City
1. Centenary

. Kansas State
. Oklahoma

. Kansas

. Colorado

1. North Texas
State
2. Oral Roberts

TOP PLAYERS: Evans (Kansas State); McCul-
Tough (Oklahoma); Douglas (Kansas); Lewis
(Colorado); Johnson (Missouri); Holder (Okla-
homa State); Uthoff (Iowa State); Brewer,
Moncrief, Delph (Arkansas); Foreman (Texas
A&M); Russell (Texas Tech); Baxter, Kri
vacs (Texas); Bird (Indiana State); Apke
(Creighton); Johnson (Wichita State); Jones
(New Mexico State); Phegley (Bradley);
Mitchell (North Texas State); Dahms (Oral
Roberts); Krause (Oklahoma City); White
(Centenary).

p his brilliant career as the leading scor-
er in Big Eight
Oklahoma will again have а v ung
n—th : n the group.

и senior

One of the youngsters, soph center М
Beal, could become the league's best pivot
man after he acquires a bit more matur

ty. The backcourt was the major arca of
concern last season, so coach Dave ВІ
recruited two allstate guards бош Indi.
ana, Ray Whitley and Max Perry
A fruitful recruiting, season will give
the Kansas team much improved speed
and depth. Freshman Darnell. Valentine,
one ol the five top prep guard prospects
1 the country last year, could be an
immediate starter. John Douglas, who
again will be the Jayhawks’ big gun,
may be the best allround player in the
league. Much of the team’s success will
depend on the play of Paul Mokeski. He's
the Jayhawks’ first seven-foot
n, has great potenti

been benched most of his college carcer
with injuries.
You

won

recognize the
made a complete turnaround
son. Last year. the Bulls had
64" and depth
Coach Bill Blair
p year in school

er 4
ly nonexistent.
had the best rear

listory (and one of the top four or five
rookie harvests in the nation), so this
Buffalo team will be big and deep but
young. Only one of the five rerurnin,
startes (Emmett Lewi ий
leading scorer) is secure in his job. Last
season, the Bulls were pitifully weak in
rebounding. but that should be changed
wih the advent of three rookics, 6'9”

etherton. 6'8” Brian Johnson and
iaig Austin. Youthful mistakes will
problem. but a light schedule will
the youngsters а chance 10 develop.
Кер an eye on them—they're а team ol
the future.

The Missouri team was dismembered
by graduation, so depth will be a serious:
problem. Best of the returnees is Clay
Johnson. Hes skinny enough to tread
water in a test tube. bur he jumps well
enough to pluck quarters off the top of
а backboard and leave small change. He's
only 61", bur slam dunks are his special-
Much of the success this y
or not two play-
ed last season, Stan
е. regain th

the Big F

New Oklalc te coach Jim Kill-
ingsworth inherits a team that is а walk
п compendium of incongruitics. Olus
Holder, by far the team’s most valuable
player, has less native talent than anyone
ов the squad—he has tenible
poor vision and he c
а winner and a
The team's most talei
Johnson, but he's а slu
and considers rebounding an u
liure of е MT" c
some confidence
id toughness. and if newcomer Mark
Tucker pans out, the Cowboys will be
improved.
or the рам six
has been known р
ious defer

hands

the Nebraska
y for its
> but the scoring
‘The good defense may be
ih more productive scoring
because of the added maturity
ksmen Brian Banks and Carl

Hammond, Indiana).
freshman Eric Eckel-
man (from Muncie), will add even more

firepow

lowa States rebuilding program is
centered on two sophomores, Dean Оой
and transfer (from Kentucky) Bob Fowler.
Last year’s poor shooting should be cured
by four rookie guards, all sharpshooters.
Two of them, Charles Harris and Joc
Gideon, are good enough to displace the
returning starters.

Basketball has suddenly caught on in
the Southwest Conference. In an area
where football once overshadowed
other spectator sports, basketball arenas
are now jammed and athletic departments

e scurrying to build teams of national
stature. Arkansas is already in that posi-
tion and Texas A&M, Texas Tech,

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PLAYBOY

268

Houston and Texas aren't far away.

Arkansas had a 26-2 record last year.
with six players logging practically all the
court time, With a couple of top-grade re-
serves, the Razorbacks could well have

heen undefeated. АП of which bodes well
for this season, because duation losses
were minimal, rugged s Benneit re-
turns from knee surgery and two blue-
chip freshmen (James Crockett and
Michael Watley) have arrived, Playboy
All-America guard Ron Brewer and

teammates Sidney Moncrief and Marvin
Delph are wonderfully multiskilled play-
The Razorbacks, in short, have no ap-
mt weaknesses and could make a
us run for the national championship.
"Texas АК М will be one of the most
improved teams in the country. Fou
starters including do-everything Willie
return. Theyll be joined by
arvis Williams. both
of who s freshmen two. years
go but sat out ast scason because of re
iti tions. Also on tap are псе
freshmen, Vernon Smith, Rynn Wright
and Albert Синоп, all of whom are capa-
ble of ig starting jobs
Russell will again be the key to
Texas Tech's fortunes. Russell was the
last year, | 67", he
ive up much height to opponents.
two hotshot new pivot men i
пр (freshman Leslie Nichols and tr
Joe Baxter, Russell will likely be
oved to forward, where he'll be even
iore effective.
Houston will
to the abs
breaker Оцу Birdsong.
depth will still be excellent, with ten or
eleven players capable of starting. If some
muscle can. be put into the rebounding,
Cougars will again be a strong factor
п the S.W.C. champi
m's best asset is second-
Abe Lemons, busily
basketball power. Lemons will
e all his key players back from last
year, plus redshirt Brent Boyd (a transfer
from LSU and a protégé of Pete Ma
vidis) and junior college All-America
Philip Stroud. Lemons also recruited the
yers of the year in Los Angeles,
Henry Johnson and Dave Shepard. Give
Lemons a couple of years and hell be
making waves in the N.C.A.A, play-offs.
Baylors major weaknesses last season
were the lack of good outside shooting
and inconsistent guard play. Both prob-
Jems appear to have been solved with the
recruiting of junior college guards Vinnie
Johnson and Mike Liule
SMU lost Pete Lodwick to graduation,
and there isn’t much talent left. M junior
college transfers Raymond Dean (а point
guard) and Reggie Franklin (a forward)
come through, the Mustangs will be re-
spectable,
New Rice coach Mike Schuler inherits

ns-

who

co-pl

an experienced team with a dearth of
talent. Elbert Darden is a class player
who does everything well, but his team-
mates are so small and slow that the

Owls are outmanned in nearly every
same.
Texas Christian also suffers from lack

of talent, Two newcomers, transfer Steve
Scales and freshman Larry Frevert, will
bring immediate help.

The Missouri Valley Conference is rap-
idly becoming one of the strongest basker-
ball leagues in the land. Two new
members, Indiana State and. Creighton,
join conference play this year and either
of them could take the championship. In-
diana State will be nearly unbeatable.
Only one starter, Danny King, is missing
from the squad that posted а 25-3 record
last winter, and he will be ably replaced
by transfer Leroy Staley. Another rookie,
611" cemer Richard Johnson, could
usurp the pivot spot. The Sycamores
asset, though, is Playboy All-Amer
forw: ist

ko has a supersta
Apke, whose older brother Tom is the
head coach. The incoming crop of re
recent years, will
ys better inside defensive
rebounding strength. With added cx-

they should avoid a repeat of
rs scasomend debade (alter a
st four games)
impossible for Southern Illi

Tt will be
mois couch Paul Lambert 10 adequately

cd Mike Glenn, the most
m scoring machine in Saluki his-
This will be a young team—no
rs—and how well it docs depends
on how quickly it can adjust to Glenn's
absence. Gary Wilson and Wayne Abrams
will have to carry most of the load

The Wichita State attack will be built
xd Lynbert "Cheese" Johnson, prob
ably the best player in school history
With much added experience (only one
starter was lost) and two excellent recruits
(point guards Johnny Taylor and Law:
rence Howell), the Shockers could be the
surprise team of the league. Thar would
be fiuing—this is the first time in
years they haven't been preseason favor-
es lor the league crow
New Mexico State won a share of
the Missouri Valley championship last
year with a freshmandlominated team.
Despite all the added experience, that

be a difficult feat to duplicate, be
use last year’s leaders, Rich Robinson
nd Dexter Hawkins, have graduated
Much depends on the contributions of
the rookies, especially junior college trans-
fer Robert Gunn.

The Bradley team is built around
Roger Phegley (who plays every position
on the court), guard Bobby Humbles
and Harold McMath (who led the team

aro!

two.

rebounding as a freshman). Although
everyone returns from last season, junior
college transfer Robert Jenkins is
emed enough to win a starting berth
before the season opener. Another new-
comer. seven-footer Tom Prusator. is the
tallest player in Bradley hi
Drake will miss the
of graduated Ken Harris, but added ex
се and е 1 of freshman
anks will help the те
hounding. years major weakness.
This will also be a more aggressive team,
which will help avoid a repeat of last
year’s m. nargin losses
re ever so wiped out by

punch

gradu s was West Texas State. The
Bullaloes, a wonderfully balanced ream
last season, will be more dependent

on the performance of one player, Mau-
rice Cheeks. A small and inexperienced
squad, the Bulls will have difficulty com-
ig physically with bigger teams.

Tulsa suffered through one of its worst
seasons ever last year (7-20), but an excel-
lent. regui gn brought in six
rookies who could furnish immediate
help. Best of the new players are Lester
Johnson. Marcus Peel and Bob Stevenson

North Л
20 games cach of the past two years but
was snubbed by postseason vent
selectors both times. The ire de-
termined not to let that I
The allsenior front |
ward Fred Mitchell, п strength
of the team. The only major loss trom
last year was point guard Walter “We
sel” Johnson, but his replacement, Jou
ning (a transfer from Ok
'ersity). looks better.

There couldn't be а more appropri
"Expect
пасей, be a mira-
Kelly could lead
ninth consecutive
ion too
sup

exas State has won more than

ppeu
пе, fea

for Oral Roberts’ motto:
would,

miracle." It
cle if new c
the team to
nning season. Gradua
four starters. includi

An-
thony Roberis, and the young replace-

score

ments face a вшей
wealth of pivot
75" (that's no typo)

g schedule. There
lent on hand, includ
John Holliuden;

who could dominate games wh he
gains more experience and strength. Two
transfers, Antonio Martin and Lamont

Reid, freshman Rodney Wright and back-
again Ben Uzel will challenge for start-
ing jobs.

Seven of Oklahoma City's top nine
players return, led by Greg Krause, one
of the сошитуз bener detensive players.
With f pable of making
immediate contributions, the Chiels are

ur NEWCOM

rs с

меагу also has seven of its top
nine players returning, including the

entire backcourt. Bobby White will
again be the top scorer and he wi
joined at mids the f

One
ofa
kind.

Where others seek mere
wealth, he searches for
experience.

He captures it in his own
distinct way.

He smokes for pleasure.

He gets it from the
blend of Turkish and
Domestic tobaccos in
Camel Filters.

Do you? J "

tis
sa

Turkishand —

Domestic Blend

"T Tg. "tar", 1.2 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, ЕТС Repon DEC. 76.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

PLAYBOY

270

by George Lett. a transfer from Hawaii.
If seven-foot Rudy Manne can nail down
the center spot, it will be a good year in
Shreveport

THE FAR WEST
PACIFIC EIGHT

1. UCLA 6. Stanford
2. Oregon 1. California
3. Oregon State 8. Southern
4. Washington State California
5, Washington
WESTERN ATHLETIC CONFERENCE
1 Utah 5. Arizona
2. New Mexico 6. Colorado State
3. Wyoming 7. Texas—El Paso.
4, Arizona State 8. Brigham Young
PACIFIC COAST CONFERENCE.
1. Long Beach 4 San lose State
State. 5. Fresno State.
2 Fullerton State — б Pacific
З. San Diego State 7. Santa Barbara
WEST COAST CONFERENCE
1. San Francisco 6. Portiand
2 Santa Clara University
3. Nevada—Reno 7. Loyola
4. Seattle Marymount
5. St. Mary's 8. Pepperdine
BIG SKY CONFERENCE
1. Montena 5, Northern Arizona
2. Idaho State 6. Montana State
3. Weber State 7. Gonzaga
4. Boise State 8. Idaho
INDEPENDENTS
1. Nevada— 3. Portland State
Las Vegasi 4. Air Force
2. Utah State 5. Hawaii

TOP PLAYERS: Greenwood (UCLA); Drum-
mond (Oregon); Johnson (Oregon State);
House (Washington State); Stewart (Wash-
ington); Belton (Stanford); Ransom (Califor-
nia); S. Smith, D. Smith, Robinson (Southern
California); Judkins (Utah); Cooper, John-
son (New Mexico), Cunningham (Colorado
State); Gray, Wiley (Long Beach Slate);
Bunch (Fullerton State): Gilbert (San Diego
State); Haynes (San lose State); Adams (Fres-
по State); Coleman (Pacific); Cartwright,
Boynes (San Francisco), Rambis, Theus
(Santa Clara); Jones (Nevada-Reno); Rich-
ardson (Seattle); Pappageorge, Jones (St.
Mary's); Claus (Loyola Marymount); Matson
(Pepperdine); Richardson (Montana); Cook
(Idaho State); Collins (Weber State);
S. Connor (Boise State); Henson (Northern
Arizona); Robinson, Theus (Nevada—Las
Vegas); Santos (Utah State); Williams
(Portland State), Schneeberger (Air Force).

all-every-

thing Marques Johnso
Johnson graduated and Bartow
to the flakiest collec
the counny. Nothing
ional champion-
fy the Smog City zealots,
ll again be

Bartow.

ships will sat
Despite their hi
an excel Greenwood
is ready to become the Bruins’ next
superstar, The center position. last ye
weakness, will be stronger if ci
Sims or Darrell Allums can take charge.
It will be a young crew (only one senior
is on the squad) and it will have to ma-

ture quickly if it is to match the per-
formance of previous Bruin teams.

Ir UC] LA: should falter—even slightly—
Oregon is in а perfect. position to take
over the Pacific Eight championship. The
Ducks will be much improved, thanks to
the return from surgery of center Dan
Hartshorne a al of blue-chip
freshmen Felton Sealey and Phil Barner.
With a squad of ters on hand,
coach Dick Harter ely utilize the
fast break often this winter. When they
don't тип, the Ducks can kill opponents
with deadly outside shooting. Soph John
Murray may become the best pure shoot-
cr in the country. At most, Oregon is а
year away from becoming a nationally
prominent team.

Oregon е seems similarly destined,
bur ой will take а litle longer. The
Reavers are big, fast, deep. good ball
handlers and good shoote: 13 of
the 17-тап squad are cither freshmen
or sophomores. If Steve Johnson can
learn to out of foul trouble, he could
become one of his school's
Freshmen. forwards Bobo
Bill McShane have luminous futu

Washington State was nearly wiped
out by graduation. Fortur a fruitful
recruiting season a year ago has produced

talented sophs who are ready to

е over mes Donald-
son, at 775 around the
basket, and if he continues to i

he will become one of the
iyers in the country.
em and transfers
Dennis Smith will also help restock the
talent bank.

feature

ington team will
man center Petur Gudmundsson, а

item lite (eis ЖУЛ one
ely, he Iso somewhat is
footed, so Wi
ing team last winter, will be much
The roster is loaded with fashy
ds, so the Huskies could go with
a threeforward lineup.
Stanford will have good depth for the
з. Only one маме
. two prize forwards (George
Schader and Jay Carter) who were iv
returned and two
rds (Mark Pitch
ford and Peter Lal have joined up.
Sophomore forward Kimberly Belton
should become an All-America before he
graduates.
slifornia is a small but заарру team
with а lor of hustle. It finished strong last
season and four starters are back. A lile
s been added in the person of
6" qrausfer. Mitchell. Cal's
)" guard Gene Ransom may well be the
the country.
is 6-20 sease
omia's starters. (induding
ще best ollensive and defensive players)

quality fr

tharles

duated. That would appear to leave
bleak prospects for this year. but it isn't
| Bob Boyd cleaned up in the
ting wars. g two topnotch
ior college Steve Smith and
h) and four prep All-Amer-
Robinson is Miller,
Ratkovich and Barry Brooks).
tc respect

and

тест

George
gon says he could field a q

ason's
a contender for the
p. Nevertheless, i

hesive team. We wish |
seems a sure bet
Western Athletic Conference champion-
ship. The Utes h

most of the bench r

э retain its

«тий. A key 10 the
be whether or nor c
find ап adequ
umed Moor gi

helped by rookie Danny Vranes, who
said to have been the best prep play
the history of the state of Ut

Two years ago, six black pl in-
duding four starters, quit the New Mex-
ico team before the last game of the
season. Coach Norm Ellenberger had to
junior
r. To the as
hment of everyone, including them-
the Lobos finished third in the
with nearly
y will be one of
1. The only

nge (Guts: than much more
expe nd depth) will be the added
playmaking abilities of transfer guard
Russell Saunders.

The Wyoming team's lack of quickness
and mobility appears to have been cured
by a bountiful reauiting harvest. Best
ol the new players are Lonnie Buckner,
Tub Bradley and Kenneth Оше.

Much of the Arizo
cess will depend on the perform
junior college wansfers Кау Joshu
Alon Lister. Forward Johnny ?
destined to becom

he gr

was decimated by graduation,
m will have much less
il strength but will be faster. Best

of the reauils is Russell Brown, who
should b immediate starter.
There is much optimism at Colorado

State. Only one of the top 11 players
a Last year's major weakness,
much stronger. Alan Са
ningham will likely repeat as the league's
leading scorer
m wiped out the Texas-El
is edition will be made
up almost totally of freshmen and soph-
s. Fortunately. it will be a taller
's tallest player was 6'6”.
Best (and tallest) of the freshmen are

What's funny is that we started out
challenging the conventional Status
Symbol in 35mm SLR photography.
The big, heavy, noisy SLR. It never
occurred to us that we, in turn,
would become the new Status Symbol.

The idea behind the Olympus ОМ-1
was simple. To design a camera that was
331496 smaller, lighter and quieter
than conventional cameras, yet rugged
and dependable. And a bigger view-
finder, so you could see more. And a
complete system with almost every
accessory an amateur or professional
would need. , `

The reaction from the : “==
experts was tremendous. 1 \
But the professional
photographers couldn't
believe a camera so small
and light could be as rugged and
dependable as we said. So they put it

Mop

through every kind of test. When
they were finally satisfied — the
amateurs soon found out. Some of
them, really amateurs, discovered
they could get wonderful pictures im-
mediately and a new Symbol was born.
Even today we've barely caught up
with the world-wide demand for ОМ-1%.
While competition was losing sleep

studying the OM-1— our engineers
developed an even more incredible
OM-2, with an automatic exposure
system so sensitive it measures light
during the actual exposure!
‚ If you really want to know the truth
under the glitter of a Status Symbol,

check out our reputation.

Talk to an Olympus owner.

Then see an Olympus dealer.

OLYMPUS

the experts call it “incredible?

Marketed in the US A by Ponder & Best Inc Corporate Offices. 1630 Stewart Street. Santa Monica. California 90406 Ponder & Best, Inc., 197

old Molix, Joe Garrett and Kevin

Jones
Brigham Young lost its four best play-
ers, bur the recruiting choris were so

productive that only one of the returning
squadmen seems assured of a starting job.
Best of the newcomers is Danny Ainge,
who could be the team's star player his
freshman year.

Long Beach State seems destined 10
continue its dominance of the Pacific
Coast Conference. Three supersophs (M
chael Wiley. Donnie Martin and Francois
Wise) will combine with two gilt-cdged
transfers from New Mexico (last sea
redshirs Larry Gray and Ricke
5) to make the 49ers one of the top
teams on the West Coast. There won't be
so many quality players available as a year
go, but the good ones will be bei
Let's hope the injury bug docsirt strike

The addition of a much needed tall
pivot man (611^ redshirt Dave Rohde)
nd a fabulous freshman (Greg Palm) to
five of last years six top players will
Fullerton State's finst team
Senior forward Greg Bunch, an ex
will again be the team’s

PLAYBOY

eve
plosive jump:
sparkplug
Optimism abounds in San Diego. Fight
lettermen return and are joined by four
gemquality transfers (Steve Malovik,
Rock Lee, Hilton Hale and Kim Goetz)

and one precocious freshman (T
Gwynn). Presnell Gilbert last years
freshman sensation, will still be the
team’s big gun.

ented group of Sophomores at San
Jose State will have to mature quickly if

it is to successfully cope with the a
bitious schedule. ‘The arrival of а!
center Dawan Scott will help.

‘The only thing new about the Fresno
State team will be the coach, Boyd Gran

At Pacific. conversely. almost the entire
squad will be brand-new. Coach Stan
Morrison warns that his new charges are
more tough minded and hungrier than
v's squad.
Barbara coach Ralph Barkey
ave cured his team’s fatal lack
kness by importing junior college
и Maderos, Jell Perry and.

scem
of qui
transfers M

Aronchick. bur the Gauchos st
n the middle.
San Francisco will in dominate the

West Coast Conference. In fact it will
c the West Coast. Playboy All-
America center Bill Cartwright and guard
Winford Boynes may be the best. pair of
y team in the land. The only

dom

with chance to become a

anter is redshirt Doug Jemison, whose

presence will add some rebounding
muscle.

Sant i has the quality big man

the Broncos have been looking for since
Dennis Awtrey graduated in 1970. He is
610" cemer Mark McNamara, He will
team with three top-llight returning sta
272 «у (Kur Rambi nd

gl
‚ Londale Theus

Eddie Joe Chavez) to give the Broncos
their best team since the late Sixties.

Nevada-Reno was plagued with in-
accurate shooting last winter, so coach
Jim Carey recruited four junior college
marksmen during the off scason. АП of
them (Johnny High, Michael Gray. Mi-
chael Stallings and Aaron Cusic) will sce
alot of a this wi

alter being injured most of last у
He and teammate Jawann Oldham are
among the best in the West.

The St. Mary's team will be greatly
reinforced with the arrival of (wo junior
college All-Americas (Ken. Jones and Pat
Holmes), plus transfer center Norm Kelly.

Neither Porland University nor. Loy-
ola Marymount lost any players t0 grad-
ation, so both teams should be improved
by accrued experience.

Pepperdine lost last season's super-
scorer Flintie Ray Williams (he'll even-
tually wind up м UCLA). but rugged
Ollie Matson, ]r. and three excellent
junior college transfers (Jim Hill, Marcus
Adams and Doug Hopkins) and Brazil's
Evaristo Soares will take up much of
the slack.

‘The Big Sky Conference ch
race is а tosup. Any of five tc;
, Idaho Мше. Weber St
не or Northern Arona) could take
the prize. Montana, with the leadership
of Michael Ray Richardson and
strong incentive brought on by h
of its victories forfeited to the oppo:
last year, looks like the best bet то us.

Idaho State, having lost the three top
scorers from lust year’s championship
team, [aces а rebuilding year under new
coach Lynn Archibald, Junior college
transfer Lawrence Butler and redshirt
ene Bowen should win starting jobs

Weber State's great new hope is t
fer Tom DeMarcus, who shoots 62 ре
cent from the foo

Воће Sene will be stronger, because
only one squad member graduated. It
may be the only team in the country on
which the coach (Bus Connor) his two
sons (Steve and Bret) as players.

Hlness. injury and ineligibility sc
the Northern Arizona (cam last
Nearly everyone is now in
and newcomers ‘Troy Hudson and
Henderson will bring a big
lent.

Mon
pivot m
scoring.

Gonzaga lost its top three p
tion, but wily coach Adrian Buon-
i captured. two prime junior col-

mpionship

the

ns-

State, lacking a productive
low

‚ will still suffer. from.

n will be much im-
5-21 season) it has

Two tall newcomers,

The Idaho te
proved, but (after
а long way to go.

Jeff Brudie and Jim Kaczmarek, will be

the diffe

severe inroads at
Fortunately, center

remain. Moffett

icutralizes nearly every
| ‘Theus does ev
thing else, They'll be rejoined by stellar
Robinse who sat out

jury. Also on hand are
Kl Sims,
Evans, plus
AIL will likely

center he faces

four superrecruits, transfers. G

Eddie McLeod and Earl
freshman Manuel Johnson.

he regulars this seas
Utah State. wi suonge
not only because superquick Mike S

but also became of newcom-
Furniss and Brian Jackson.
v he the best big player in the
ates this winter.

d Stare will feature marksman
в Williams, who consistently puts
from 30 feet out.

5 Air Force Academy
retu 1 they'll be rejoined
by center Randy Gricius, who was sus-
pended Jast season. “The schedule
ougher, but it’s hoped that the Falc
will get off to a better start than. last
year, when they lost six of their first seven

imes.

js back
Gary

The Haw the most painful
throes of g process, is а
strange «Ин ast do the Rainbow
football team: пог а Hawaiian, Samoan

or Japanese
for СИГ Sanchez and
surnames are
Wh

ime on the roster. Except
Ed ‘Torres. the

ally. а comment about onc of ba
ketball's more questionable cor i
culine—the cul of
а basketball play-
ers excellence is always directly propor-
tional to his vertical measurements has
become so ingrained in the minds of the
public (and even some sporiswi
Sports publicists, coaches and even Пор
ful parents have for years fud
truth in an effort то draw. avo
tention (and postseason honors) 10 the
charges. И happens in the ease of even
the most excellent of players.

Phil Ford of the University of North
Carolina is widely acclaimed as the best
c Базкей the country.
On а lov Tast sun ner,
Ford a balcony of the Playboy
Resort Hotel іп Lake € Wiscou-
sin, watch king
with I
sur

dred Wi;
i from Tennessee.

Fell me,” asked Dr. Wiser, “how tall
ше you, Phi
“Well.” answered Ford, "ollicially Гап
six-foorfive. Bur if I was on the operating
ble and you red me. you'd find
out Fm sixfoorone. But please don't

tell anybody.”

“And that's what I call balling the jack.”

PLAYROY

5 good їо know
it's in there.

Its goed „А к! your Pravorite drink is made
with Seagram's 7. Because nothing else tastes
as good with club soda, or any other mixer. Pour
Ei oz. over rocks, fill glass with club soda for a
‚ге! freshing drink.

Seagram's 7 Crown

Where quality drinks begin.

ions

40084 NG 00219 Y—ASNSIHIN ЧҮЙЛҮ A A X02 SHITTILSIO d

HABITAT.
ICING UP

With the holiday season not too
far away, your ice bucket once
again comes into its own as an
indispensable item for entertain-
ing. If you're in the market for a
new one, avoid the too-cute con-
versation piece that looks like a
hollow log or a French chamber
pot. An ice bucket, above all,
should be functional; it should
keep your cubes cold and crisp
and it should be large enough.
Nothing can kill a cocktail party
faster than running out of ice. An
ice bucket usually falls into one
of three categories: the over-
grown Thermos-bottle type, the
kind in which one container
nestles inside another for insula-
tion purposes or, the simplest of
all, a clear-glass container.
Choose one that either coordi-
nates with your decor or becomes
an accent; something glass and
chrome, perhaps, set among
antiques. —ROBERT L. GREEN

Above, left to right: a
large cylinder of chrome
and pigskin incorpo-
rated with an authentic
porthole closure, from
Hunting World, $1100.
A polyvinyl and straw
model, from Y. B. Sales,
$36. A pine-box model
complete with a Lucite
lid and interior ice cad-
die, from Edgar Watkins
Cubics, $75. Left, left to
right: Sterling-silver
bowl can be used for
ice, fruit or as a service
dish, from Tiffany, $600.
The Marley, an elegant
crystal bucket with brass
handles, from Baccarat,
$180. A brass rectangular
ice bucket, from Ham-
macher Schlemmer,
$125. And an Italian
pewter container resem-
bling a stein, from Plum-
mer McCutcheon, $35. 275

PHOTOGRAPHY ВУ TOM ZUK

FASHION
MOVING INTO MENSWEAR

nown for his innovative clothing sense of fabrics,

colors and styles, Paris-based designer Jean-Charles

de Castelbajac is making his youthful mark on the

American scene. And if he has his way, the men's
fashion market will feel his presence just as much as the
women's. “The most important thing І would like to do in
men's clothes is to break the tradition that a businessman
must wear a tie and a workman wear a particular uniform.
When President Carter can be seen in jeans, the world is
fast learning that respectability and elegance are related to
the person, not to what he wears. | want to give men a
way to express themselves—to show their fantasies other
than by wearing a pink tie or a turtleneck." To don Castel-
bajac's clothes is to express more than a little whimsy, but
then, Americans in large numbers are already" wearing
warm-up suits and other active sports gear everywhere but
the places they were designed for. His message that clothes
should be both practical and fun is manifested here, for
instance, in the superwarm and comfortable nylon revers-
ible parka (lower left) that,
through the use of four basic
colors and two zippers and by
reversing the sleeves, is, in ef-
fect, four jackets. Castelbajac's
styles are available in several
major U.S. stores and he has
plans in the works to open his
own shops—first in Los Angeles
in 1978 and in New York some-
time after that. — DAVID PLATT

JOYCE RAVIO.

N !

Above left: Designer Jean-Charles de Castelbajac wryly surveys the bright and bold styles he hopes American good sports will soon
be taking to. Above right: Black zippered jump suits. His in treated cotton with wool lining, $315 (all prices are approximate).
Hers in stretch nylon satin, $200. Below left: His reversible nylon jacket, $235, worn with nylon sailcloth drawstring pants with
elastic cuffs, $50. The lady's layered, hooded wool top (three separate tops), $90 each. Below right: Signature French army wool
double-breasted blanket coat with canvas trim, wide roll-up sleeves. His, $375, wom with black cotton gabardine trousers, $60; hers, $275.

GAMES &GADGETS

PADDLES, PARTNERS & PARLAYS

MC SINN, Lon

BILL FRANTZ

You won't have to say
“Cheese,” but you'll have
to watch the birdie when
youplay Hot Tennis (above),
an Asian-designed paddle
game that combines tennis,
badminton and ping-pong
and can be played indoors
Or out. It comes with four
birds designed for di
playing conditions;
mat extra, from Jokari/U.S.

Instruction cards that come
with Kenner's Turn On! ac-
tion game (about $11, left)
make you touch your part-
ner's nose, etc., while hold-
ing on to the knobs. И you
do it right, the box starts to
buzz and you score points.
You can create your own
cards, do your own scoring.

Tired of betting on nags be-
cause they have the same
name as your high school
girlfriend? Track down a
"handicapping computer"
(right) from Comp-U-Turf
(P.O. Box 690, Arcadia, Cal.
91006) and pony up $24.95.
It statistically combines
three "cycles" based on
track records and says
whether or not old Rubber
E Legs is the best of the lot.

RICHARD IZUI RICHARD IZUI

"Annie's" Daddy

1f for no other reason, MARTIN CHARNIN
voted for Jimmy Carter so that he could
take his musical, “Annie” to Broadway.
"| firmly believe that musicals of inspira-
tion—of which ‘Annie’ is an example—are
written only during Republican adminis-
trations and put on during Democratic
ones." Based on the “Little Orphan Annie”
comic strip, supersmash “Annie” was con-
ceived by Charnin almost six years ago, at
the height of this country’s political up-
heavals. “I wrote it as a reaction to what
ме were going through—and І pushed and
pushed to get it on stage. It was a hell of a
long pregnancy." Charnin, who's been the
writer, producer and director of a number
of Emmy-winning TV specials, as well as
the lyricist for several Broadway musicals,
labeled some of the recent New York
shows “neurotic”: "They were dazzling,
technically expert—but there were no
feelings conveyed. At the end of ‘Annie,’
people are helplessly weeping and cheering.”
Charnin plans to take the show on the road
to several cities in the U.S. and to England.
And beyond "Annie"? He's got a couple of
musicals in the conceptual stage: “Му game
plan is to have three or four shows running
at the same time within the next five years.
But there will never be another ‘Annie.

GRAPEVINE

Furry Film

It’s a little too soon for the
country's Freak Brothers fans to
start holding their breath, but
master cartoonist GILBERT
SHELTON has closed a deal with
a movie producer to bring
Phineas, Fat Freddy and Free-
Wheelin’ Franklin to the silver
screen. Shelton is a former Texan
turned San Franciscan who in-
advertently pioneered the under-
ground-comic phenomenon i

the early Sixties by creating its
first superantihero: Wonder
Wart-Hog (fearless, fighting,
foulmouthed"), who still battles
and blunders his way through
the pages of some 50 college
and other weekly papers. His
Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
made their national-magazine
debut in PLAYBOY in 1971 (the
"Feds 'п' Heads" board game)
and now appear monthly in
"High Times" and periodically
in their own comic-book format.
An artist of few words, Shelton
describes his career simply:
“Smoked some dope when I was
a college kid in Texas. Made me
crazy." The producer and Shelton
plan to donate part of the movie
profits to the National Organi-
zation for the Reform of Mari-
juana Laws. Sounds sane to us.

2
5
3
а
Ei
6

Mack Trick

If you live in New York, that decent-looking,
modestly dressed fellow in the corner who's
eavesdropping on your conversation and taking
notes may not be a CIA spook or a new variety
of pervert—he could be STAN MACK, gathering
material for “Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies,” his
weekly comic strip in “The Village Voice.” Mack
was for several years art director of “The New
York Times Sunday Magazine”; but for the past
three, he's been freelancing as an illustrator
and doing the strip—which means at-
tending conventions of fat people,

of believers in UFOs, singles rap.

sessions, anything slightly off the

beat. This naturalistic approach

is entirely new—"Blondie" done >
documentary style. “Unfortu-
nately, they don’t pay enough З
for те to put in а full week. So

Fm constantly battling between the amount of time it takes to do one and.
Syndication would help, but, so far, my phone hasn't been jumping ой the hook:
In any event, the next time you're out in public in the Big Apple, watch what you
say. Otherwise, see you in the funny papers.

BENNO FRIEDMAN

VERNON L. SMITH

Selling the Sizzle

The decor of Maxwell's Plum and Tavern on the Green—two of Manhattan’s most suc-
cessful restaurant-spectaculars—lies somewhere between Victorian sporting house and
the back lot of Warner Bros. And no wonder; WARNER LEROY (his grandfather was
the Jack Warner and his father is Mervyn LeRoy, the director) is their rotund ringmaster
who puts as much—some say more—emphasis on the interior theatrics of his restaurants
as he does on what's cooking. And he also puts emphasis on expansion: “Maxwell's is
doubli size,” LeRoy says. “And we're going to open five new variations on the same theme, beginning with L.A. in about two
years, followed by Chicago, Paris, Tokyo and London. We will probably put about $4,000,000 into each location. They'll all be differ-
ent." Other possibilities: the revitalization of the old Penn Central Railroad yards into a spectacular 80-acre Tivoli-type garden and the
transformation of Liberty Park in New Jersey into a 1000-acre “permanent world’s fair.” When Warner LeRoy dreams, he dreams big.

Storing Up Laughs

MITZI SHORE, the major-domo of a bur-
geoning collection of Comedy Stores, and
mother superior to a score of aspiring
comics who stream in and out of her laugh
lounges, finds it too embarrassing to go
onstage herself.

Shore, who began The Comedy Store five
years ago with her then-husband, comic
Sammy Shore, and comedy writer Rudy
Deluca (“I took over when they dropped
out after the first year to pursue their
careers"), has taken the one-room comedy
workshop and expanded it to four show-
cases (three in Los Angeles, one in La Jolla)
offering an incredible 35 different acis
nightly. “And 1 allow only comics; no
singers, no acts, nothing but laughs.” It's a
successful formula; Jay Leno, a Comedy
Store regular, once observed, “Mi
coming the McDonald's of comedy. Any
day now, 1 expect her to put up a sign:
‘OVER 3 MILLION JOKES TOLD.””

280

NO BITTER PILL TO SWALLOW

Birth control may be taking a new twist that involves
some surprising areas of your body. The Gupta Pill Implant
would be inserted in your arm, thigh or belly. Invented by
Dr. Gopi N. Gupta, associate scientist of The Population
Council at Rockefeller University in New York, it's the
first subcutaneous birth control designed for both men
and women.

"It's the size of a grain of rice and easily inserted with a
needle. There's no surgery required," enthused its creator.
"What also makes this pill different from anything else
yet invented is the fact that it's made entirely of hor-
mones—pure progestin for
women, progestin and testos-
terone for men—mixed with
a minute amount of choles-
terol. There are no chemicals
involved. So it will slowly dis-
solve into the body, acting as
an effective contraceptive
over a period of one to three
years. And as it uses only one
20th to one 50th the amount
of hormone that standard
birth control pills now con-
tain, it will be much safer and
a lot cheaper to manufacture."

Unlike all the other prod-
ucts currently in the research
stage, Dr. Gupta's pellet for
women is actually going into
widespread experimental use
within a few months—in India,
Chile, Brazil, Dominican Re-
public, Austria, Sweden and
Finland. “They have more le-
nient licensing systems than
we do,” the doctor explained.
“Wve tested the implant for

CURT GUNTHER / CAMERA 5

SEXCETERA

Kubla Khan may have dwelt in a wondrous pleasure
dome, but it’s nothing compared with what Edward
Bishop of Canyon Country, California, creates. Bishop
takes a room, seals it from light and paints the interior
flat black. Then he hangs hundreds of rotating mirrors
from the ceiling and adds black lights and sound to create
a shimmering, pulsating Mirror-Go-Round ballroom.
The price for this room was $25,000. Still interested?

woman wearing stiletto shoes is sexually available emerged,
and itis still a subconscious sex image for many men today.

READY OR NOT

When people talk about rampant teenage sexuality these
days, they're usually referring to teenage girls. Not too
much had been written about how young boys were han-
dling this upsurge of female postpubescent passion until
Dr. Murray M. Kappelman, a professor of pediatrics at the
University of Maryland, took the matter into his counseling
den, and out came the new book Sex and the American
ееп: Dr. Kappelman outlined for us the curious social
reversal that's taking place:

- "Young boys of 15, 16 and
17 are faced with the problem
of not feeling ready to be in-
volved sexually. Formerly, a
teenage boy could hide be-
hind an attitude of false sexual
machismo—and get off the
performance hook by telling
his girl, ‘I respect you too
much to take you to bed.
This also kept him in control.
But since teenage females have
been surrounded by all the
women's liberation doctrines,
they've begun to 'come out'—
very aggressively—into their
own sexuality at increasingly
younger ages. The boys who
are their peers are generally
not as mature, biologically or
emotionally. They find them-
selves in the same position
that girls used to be in—hav-
ing to say no and feeling guilty
about it.”

several years—enough to be

sure of its safety and effectiveness. Theoretically, it’s ready
to be marketed in the U.S.A. right now. But | must apply
for a patent, get a drug company to manufacture it and
have it reviewed by the FDA—so it will be another couple
of years before it reaches the American public."

THINKING KINKY

A pair of dainty feminine feet encased in shiny spike-
heeled shoes is a classic erotic image for a lot of men.
Here are a couple of psychiatrists’ thoughts on why.

“High heels are tremendously exaggerated footwear, which
emphasizes the difference between men and women. Any
kind of specific feminine clothing that points up their
sexual distinction is going to arouse men,” thinks Dr. Gene
G. Abel. The University of Tennessee-Memphis psychiatry
professor feels that "this exaggeration principle is also
evident in bras, lacy stockings and certain styles of under-
pants. Which is one reason why artists portraying sexy
women wearing high heels would put them in one of those
other garments, too.”

We heard something different from Dr. John L. Schimel,
who's associated with the William Alanson White Psycho-
analytic Institute in New York. He speculates that guys get
turned on by a female stereotype that's been around since
the Victorian days, when a lady who showed any part of
her legs was considered immoral. Visible high heels were
worn only by prostitutes. So the traditional idea that a

UP AND COMING

Tired Businessman's Syndrome. An awful lot of men
know what that is, especially guys who work 15-hour days
in their rugged climb to financial success and the big time.
T.B.S. has one major symptom: Although the mind is will-
ing, the body is not. You want sex, but you're just too”
damn tired.

It's been reported that amphetamines can restore libido,
but with only occasional use, indicates Dr. John Kuehnle,
assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
"They are mood-enhancing drugs, not aphrodisiacs," he
says. Speed will intensify whatever emotion or state of
mind a man is experiencing when he takes it. “If he's pre-
occupied with his work, he'll get an increase of intensity
in that direction, rather than a boost of energy for his sex
life. There's absolutely no guarantee that a person with or
without Tired Businessman's Syndrome will want sex after
taking speed."

But if he does, he's got to be careful. The doctor cau-
tioned that "libido is restored in sudden bursts. A man who
gets into the habit of popping uppers regularly will find, in
a short time, that he must keep increasing the dosage to get
the same upsurge of sexuality. That could have alarming
consequences, over a period of time, resulting in paranoid.
feelings, which may present a clinical picture of paranoid
schizophrenia.”

— HOWARD SMITH ANO
BRIAN VAN DER HORST

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