Full text of "PLAYBOY"
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Warning. The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health
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gives KOLE, — -
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“you can get.in any cigarette. 4
While you've been working your way up
for all these years, we've been quietly
waiting for you to arrive.
Seagramrs VO.
Bottled in Canada. г кал throughout the world.
CANADIAN WHISKY. A BLEND OF CANADA'S FINEST WHISKIES. 6 YEARS OLD. 86.8 PROOF. SEAGRAH DISTILLERS CO., N.Y.C.
ble high-backed easy chair,
away fre tamp a little cavendish into your
bowl and pour yourself a snifter of brandy. You'll want to
feel snug—and safe—when you read William Hiortsberg's Falling
Angel, a murder mystery with a twist of voodoo—plus an
ending thav'll have you glancing over your shoulder for days.
Our story is a condensation ol the novel that will soon be
published by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, and it’s illustrated
in the best tradition of the dime novel by Ron Villani. There
are two parts, the second to be presented next month. You'll
need the time to get your blood running ag:
We should also warn you that this issue contains perishable
goods that should be consumed immediately. To wit, Phil
Berger's account of the life and perilous times of Spinks, the
current heavyweight boxing champion as we went to press.
‘The mercurial Leon was due to delend his title against former
champ Muhammad Ali about the time you read this, pi
vided, writes Berger, he didn't self-destruct first.
If you think Spinks pliys a rough game, consider The
Inner Game of Sex. one we all play—handicapped by guilt,
ir and misinformation. Robert Shea, former PLAYBOY editor
and co-author (along with Robert Anton Wilson) of the sci-fi
trilogy Hluminatus!, gives you tips on winning while keeping
your sanity intact.
Jobn Knight, heir apparent to the Knight-Ridder publish-
ing empire, seemed to be a winner. But it took his violent
death to yeveal just what game he was playing. The tr
story of his double life, in the gay and straight worlds, will
be found in Kings Don't Mean a Thing. an adaptation from
Kings Don't Mean a Thing| The John Knight Murder Case,
by Arthur Bell, to bc published by William Morrow. Vincent
Topazio illustrates the skeleton in Knight's closet.
Г, Lawrence Grobel conducted our cover-story in-
terview with Barbra Stre Чу one year later, Grobel
drew the assignment for our interview with Dolly Parton, who,
© sure you've noticed, is on this month's cover. His luck
t last.
An equally fortunate man is John Hughes, who compiled the
ег edition of our new feature 20 Questions. The sub-
ject of the first mini-interview is Cheryl Tiegs, supermodel, TV
personality and longtime friend of John's, who says, "I knew
her when she was making only $1000 а day.” You've come a
n the wi
Jong way, John.
Speaking of longtime friends, we haven't heard from Arnold
Roth lor a while. Ah, but this month he’s back—with another
nstallment of his illustrated History of Sex. He's
УШ and still going strong. We didn't know sex
old, or that funny!
We do know that Donald Chaikin isn't [ ng with a full
deck. His Wheels for the Alan Who Thinks Big may be
tongue in cheek, but then it may not be. Let your
wallet decide.
If you've got any bread left after g Chaikin’s advice,
you might want to pick up some new duds. Playboy's Fall and
Winter Fashion Forecast, abl stal-balled by Fashion Edi
tor David Plott, is filled with suggestions for filling out your
cold-weather wardrobe.
For the inner you, we profile potables from the Carib
in The Dark Side of Rum. Emonuel Greenberg gives you the
low-down on a few concoctions that'll have you running up
the Jolly Roger at your next fun fest. (Gary Cooley is the
illustrator.)
In the there’s-more-where-thatccames
present the second part of our p
Pac 10. Valk about an embarrassment of riches! And then
there's the magnificent Mary Hanson, our October Playmate.
What more can we say? It's а heavy package. Go to it!
up to Part
was that
rom department, we
сап to the Girls of the
GROBEL, PARTON
PLAYBOY.
vol. 25, no. 10—october, 1978 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
3
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Folling Angel Р. 114 41
42
44
45
COMING АТТВАСПОМЅ ............................... 47
THE! PLAYBOY ADVISOR a ызалы нас cascade 51
E PLAYBOY SEX РОШ .......... wean ads HOWARD SMITH 59
This month's question: What spectator sport is most sexually arousing?
THEIPLAYBOYIEORUM ушул рл к ыы у 65
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: DOLLY PARTON—candid conversation ....... 81
Our favorite mountain girl talks about sex, religion, her new sound, the movies
shed like to make and everything else you might want to know, including
her trusty sidearm and her lust for Fritos.
FALLING ANGEL: PART I—fiction ........... . WILLIAM HJORTSBERG 114
When a private detective tries to track down o missing Forties singer, the
trail leads him into a web of voodoo and grisly murders.
GIRL ON A DOLPHIN—pictorial as 120
Denise Creedon is on underwater researcher with a knock for attracting
friendly dolphins, which proves not only that dolphins ore intelligent but thai
they have excellent taste.
SPINKS—personelity . > white . PHIL BERGER 126
A ringside view of the most disas TE prone heavyweight champion in history.
WRIST ACTION—modern living .......... „Же. 130
We know you don't want to be accused of having boring wrists, so we found
nine watches and bracelets to catch the eye of the most jaded wrist watcher
THE DARK SIDE OF RUM—drink ............ EMANUEL GREENBERG 133
Long John Silver wouldn't be without his bottle of pungent rum, and—yo
ho ho—neither should you, matey
ROLLIN' ALONG—playboy’s playmate of the month ............. 136
Actress Marcy Hanson travels in fast circles that include superdudes such as
Rod Stewart and Joe Namath.
Rum Go Р. 133
GENERAL OFFICES: PLYNOV BUILDING. 919 NOWTH MICHIGAN AVE.. CHICAGO. ILLINOIS воен. RETURN POST
ALLY ASSIGNED FOR PUOLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYBOYS UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO {DIY AND TO COMMENT EDHORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYRIGHT
PLAYBOY, ALL FIGHTS RESERVED PLAYBOY AMD RAGUIT WEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS OF PLAYBOY, REGISTERED U.S. PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA, WARGUE DEPOSEE. NOT!
REPRINTED IM WHOLE он IM PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SEMIFICTION IM THIS MAGAZINE
AND ARY REAL PEOPLE AND PLACES IS PURELY COINCIDENTAL. CREDITS: COVER: MODEL DOLLY PARTON, PHOTOGRAPHED DY HARRY LANGLON. OTHER PHOTCCRAPHY GY BILL ARSENAULT. P- 9.
PETER 3. DANTOR, 161.170; DRENT BEAR, P. тї: MARIO CASILLL, P. 127 DAVID CHAN, P. 12, тва, 166168, 170; COURTESY CHICAGO HEALTH AND RACOUETDALL CLUN. P. 207. NICHOLAS
E MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCAIFTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED
COVER STORY
Lookin’ better than a body hos a right to, Dolly Parton, whose down-to-earth interview
starts on page 81, was photographed by Harry Langdon in а variation on the Bunny
costume she designed herself. How's that for multitalented?
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor .......................... . M8
THE INNER GAME OF SEX—article .............. . -ROBERT SHEA 150
With o Zen approach to sex, it's a lot more fun, and you get enlightenment
to boot. Quick! Whot's the sound of one thigh spreading?
PLAYBOY'S FALL AND WINTER
FASHION FORECAST—attire .,................ ...DAVID PLATT 153
It's а season for independent thinking about clothes, so we help you choose
your own style from the year’s best designs.
KINGS DON'T MEAN А THING—artide .............. ARTHUR BELL 158
When a young, respected publishing heir is murdered, his homosexual activities
come to light. A stronger-than-fiction adaptation of a forthcoming book.
ssi My
GIRLS OF THE PAC 10: PART Il—pictorial ......
We found so many beautiful ladies at those Wes
couldn't stop with just one pictorial. If you liked what you sow lost month,
wait ll you check this out!
Wrist Watching
A TALE OF SILENT CUNNING—ribald classic . . . . MATTEO BANDELLO 173
20 QUESTIONS: CHERYL TIEGS—mini-interview 22... .......... 176
The years most popular model tells enough, if not ‘quite all, to PLAYBOY'S
fortunate emissary, John Hughes.
WHEELS FOR THE MAN
WHO THINKS BIG—modem living .............. DONALD CHAIKIN 181
With vehicles shrinking before our very eyes, there ore still a few extra-
longs left for those who like driving in a large way.
MANY HAPPY RETURNS—attire .............................. 186
If you've still got those Ivy League shirts ond skinny ties left over from the
early Sixties, congratulations. You ге back in style—almost.
OBSERVING “OLDER WOMEN"—picorial ........... . 193
An advance look at a new film from Conada that's likely to start autumn fever,
A HANDSOMELY MOUNTED
HISTORY OF SEX: PART Vill—humor ............... ARNOLD RCTH 198
PLAYBOY'S PIPELINE . 203
Man ond work, Јатаісо, health clubs, Government grants.
REAY BOY BOIPOURRI. SST Saa E аз Байка cha a ie 260
LITTLE ANNIE FANNY—satire. . . HARVEY KURTZMAN and WILL ELDER 277
PLAYBOY ӨН) THE SCENE о ohne See sie a) ae 281
Exercise equipment, tennis-stor threads, corkscrews. Shirt Tale
182-187, NAIR BY AMID AND MAKE-U JE OF PIERRE MICHEL. INSERTS: PLAYBOY CLUBS INTERNATIONAL CARO. BETWEEN P. 32:32, 290.23.
PLAYBOY, OCTOBER. 1978, VOL. 25. NO. 10. PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PLAYEOY, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYBOY BLOG., 949 M. MICHIGAN AVE., CHGO., ILL. SOSI! SECOND.CLASS
POSTAGE PAID AT CHGD.. ILL. а AT ADDL. MAILING OFFICES, SUBSCRIPTIONS: IN THE U. S.. SA FOR ONE YEAR. POSTMASTER. SEND кой 3879 TO wtavsoy. P © жок 4436, BOULE, cove core
PLAYBOY
For color reproduction of Wild Turkey painting by hen Davies, 19" by 217 send $2 to Box 929, РВ, Wall St. Sta., NY. 10005
Wild Turkey Lore:
Wild Turkeys are masters of
camouflage and evasion.
A large flock of birds will lie
quietly within yards of a man
passing through the forest,
and never be seen.
The Wild Turkey is truly
a native bird, unique to
America. And it is the
unique symbol of the
finest native whiskey
in America—Wild Turkey.
WILD TURKEY/101 PROOF/8 YEARS OLD.
Ф 1977 Austin, Nichols
stiling Со, Lawrenceburg, Kentucky,
PLAYBOY
HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher
NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher
ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL art director
SHELDON WAX managing editor
GARY COLE photography editor
С. BARRY GOL xecutive editor
TOM STAEBLER executive art director
EDITORIAL
LAURENCE GONZALES editor; FIC-
WRIA CHEN HAIDER editor; STAFF:
CATCHPOLE, WILLIAM у. HELMER,
GRETCHEN MC NEFSE, DAVID STEVENS senior edi-
tors; JAMES R.
JOHN BLUMENTHAI
NELLIS, JOHN REZEK associate editors; WALTER
L. LOWE, KATE NOLAN, J. F. O'CONNOR, TOM
PASSAVANT, ALEXA SEHK (forum), FD WALKER
assistant editors; SERVICE FEATURES: TOM
owen modern living editor; vavi Art
fashion editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY
editor; COPY: ARLENE BOURAS editor; JACKIE
JOHNSON FORMELLER, MARCY MARCHI, MARSHA
SUSAN O'BRIEN, BECKY THALIR-DO
ZION researchers; CONTRIBUTING
ORS: MURRAY FISHER, NAT HENTOFF,
ANSON MOUNT, PETER ROSS RANGE, RICHARD
RHODES, ROBERT SHERRILL, DAVID STANDISH.
BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies)
WEST COAST: LAWRENCE 5. DIETZ editor
ART
KERIG POPE managing director; LEN WILLIS,
CHET SUSKI senior directors; вов VOST, SRI
WILLIAMSON associate directors; WHUCE
JOSEPH PACZEK assistant directors; BETH KASIK
Senior art assistant; PEARL MIURA art assistant;
vicki HAINES traffic coordinator; DARBARA
HOFFMAN administrative assistant
PHOTOGRAPHY
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JEFF
COHEN, JANICE MOSES associate editors; HOLLIS
WAYNE new york edilor; RICHARD FTGLEY,
FOMPEO row staff photographers; JAMES
LARSON photo manager; вил. ARSEN. DON
AZUMA, DAVID CHAN, PHILLIP DIXON, DWIGHT
HOOKER, R. SCOTT HOOPER, RICHARD IZUN
KEN MARCUS, ALEXAS окил contributing pho-
fographers; PATTY BEAUDET, MICHAL BERRY
assistant edilors; JAMES WARD color lab super-
visor; ROBERT CHELIUS administrative editor
PRODU
JOMN Mastro director; ALLEN VARGO man-
ager; ELEANORE WAGNER, МАША MANDIS,
»Y JUKGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROL assistants
READER SERVICE
JANE COWEN SCHOEN manager
CIRCULATION
RICHARD SMITH director; J. R. AKDISSONE news-
stand sales manager; ALVIN WIEMOLD subscrip-
tion manager
ADVERTISING
HENRY W. MARKS advertising director
ADMINISTRATIVE
MICHAEL LAURENCE business manager; PATRICIA
PAPANGELIS administrative editor; TERESA
мскгЕ rights & permissions manager; ми.
DRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant
PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.
DERICK J. DANIELS president
The single
biggest
mistake you
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From the outside, all speakers look pretty much the same.
But buying an off-brand, bargain speaker can be a very big mistake.
Since speakers are the only components that actually produce sound, when you
compromise your speakers you compromise your entire music system.
Fortunately, there's one way to make sure you wind up with a speaker that sounds as
good as it looks: Buy a speaker with a name as good as the rest of your components.
At Kenwood, we didn't just start with a bunch of commercially available speaker parts.
We started with a goal: To deliver a crisp, clean sound that accurately reproduces the original music.
To begin with, we create each raw frame speaker.
For the tweeter and the midrange, we used
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cones. And by properly designing the weight of
the voice-coil with the cone assembly in the
woofer, we have eliminated the crossover-coil:
One of the major causes of speaker distortion.
We mount our speakers on a lumber-core
baffle board made of special anti-resonant
material. And design the enclosure to assure an
acoustic match between cabinet and
components.
Though you can't see all that by just looking
at a Kenwood speaker, you'll know it the first
time you listen.
Next time you're at your Kenwood dealer,
compare our $180.00", 3-way LS-407B with any
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You'll save yourself from making a big mistake. ||
Your speakers’ reputation should
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Ф KENWOOD
For the dealer nearest you, see your Yellow Pages,
or write Kenwood, PO. Box 6213, Carson, CA 90749.
“Nationally advertised value. Actual prices are extablshed by Kenwood dealers.
‘Walnut grain vinyl finished cabinet. In Canada: Magnasonic Canada, Ltd.
INSTA
nd “Polavision”® © 1978 Polaroid Corporation.
“Polaroi
i ES =
Polaroid, the inventor of instant pictures,
introduces the second revolution in photog-
raphy. Movies you can see in brilliant color sec-
onds after you’ve taken them. Movies you can
take even if you’ve never held a motion picture
camera before. Movies your family can view
again and again, on a compact, elegant player
that sits out on a table or tuck:
See how simple it is:
1. Drop a cassette into the lightweight, au-
s into a bookshelf.
tomatic Polavision camera. Squeeze the trigger,
and you're making your movie—the kids playing
ball, a family party, your wife's golf swing. You
can zoom in for dramatic closc- [7 [=
ups or pull back for wide shots.
2. When your movie
is finished (and you'll be delighted to see how
many sequences you can shoot in 2¥2 minutes),
drop the cassette into your Polavision player.
3. In seconds, your instant movie appears
on the screen. (That simple-looking cassette
has actually recorded in breathtaking detail the
images you saw through the viewfinder.) The
picture is sharp, the colors rich and clear.
There's no projector or movie screen to set up,
no threading or winding. ‘To start the player,
you just drop in a cassette. Children can enter-
tain themselves indefinitely replaying the cas-
settes. Treat your family to a Polavision system.
Enjoy the new experience of making instant
movies, and start building a living diary of the
memorable moments of your life.
ME General Wine & Spirits Co. МУС 80 proof
Ш
ЧАДА! СО RUM COMPANY
UER!O RICO +40 PROOF
Meet
onrico of Puerto Rico.
Who is he? Down deep, inside, where it counts,
He's the descendant of 6 generations of ^ Ronrico has character. A fineness. The result
Puerto Rican rum-masters (since 1860). of decades of distilling — and perfecting.
And he's no ordinary rum So for authentic rum of Puerto Rico, get to
He's smooth. Light in manner. A good know Ronrico.
mixer. And — more. A well-bred fellow.
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY
in which we offer an insider’s look at what’s doing and who’s doing it
TENNIS, ANYONE? STARS
PLAY AT MANSION WEST
Once again, the grounds of Playboy Mansion
West were the scene of the annual tennis tour-
nament benefiting the John Tracy Clinic, and ce-
lebrities turned out by the score—both to play
and to watch the sometimes heated competition.
At left, shutters click as host Hugh M. Hefner
welcomes America’s reigning sex symbol,
model-video personality Cheryl Tiegs (see 20
Questions, page 176). Cheryl, it turned out, also
showed a winning personality on the courts.
Above, actor Dennis (Felony Squad) Cole and his lady,
Jaclyn (Charlie's Angels) Smith, observe the goings-on
at the tournament; below, Hefner greets tennis pro Alex
Olmedo, a Tracy regular, as ace Jimmy Connors and our
June Playmate, Gail Stanton, in from Memphis, look on.
Actor/comic/educator/TV pitchman Bill Cosby turns his back on the
world-ranked tennis player Ше Nastase—to а purpose, as Nasty
signs an autograph for one of the many fans present at the Tracy
Clinic meet. (For court star Cos in a diferent role, see page 16.)
CLUTCH PLAYERS HONORED
Winners of our Cash-on-the-Line,
Clutch-Player All-Star Poll (PLAvBov,
June) have been getting an extra treat:
personal presentations by Playmates.
Well, some of them have. That is not
Cesar Cedefio of the Houston Astros
with Playmate Debra Jo Fondren at left.
Cedefio, named center fielder of our
Clutch All-Star team, came in second
best in an altercation with the dugout
roof the day Debra showed up. So
manager Bill Virdon did the honors.
Luckier were Twin Rod Carew and
Royal George Brett, who did get to meet
Miss June 1978, Gail Stanton (right).
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY
PLAYMATE UPDATE:
CLAUDIA JENNINGS
STARS IN “DEATHSPORT”
Our November 1969 Playmate
(and 1970 Playmate of the
Year), Claudia Jennings (tar
right), stars opposite David
Carradine in Roger Corman's
futuristic thriller, Deathsport
(right). It's set in the year 3000,
when capital punishment has
been abolished—only to be re-
placed by mortal combat in the
arena, a sentence meted out to
certain criminals. Sounds like
Demetrius and the Gladiators
Meet the 31st Century, but
Claudia, obviously, is gorgeous
whether past, present or future.
BIG ROLE FOR SONDRA
July 1977 Playmate Sondra Theodore, who has
a small role in Universal's Skateboard, gets her
first major film break opposite Christopher
Mitchum (above) in Avco Embassy's Stingray,
in which she plays a resourceful hitchhiker.
MONKEY BIZ
You'll be able to see
our April centerfold
girl, Pamela Jean Bry-
in a made-for-tel-
ion movie on the
NBC-TV network this
fall. The Universal
production is titled BJ
and ihe Bear, and
Pam appears along
with Greg Evigan and
Sam the Chimp. That's
Pam, Greg and Sam
at right, taking advan-
tage of a moment's
break in the shooting
schedule on the Uni-
versal lot. Sam's smil-
ing because he'd
never met a Playmate.
AH, TO BE PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR
Texas, after all, is a pretty big place, so our newly chosen Playmate of
the Year, Debra Jo Fondren, who hails from there, had not one but two
Press-luncheon announcement parties: one in Houston and one in
Dallas. At left, Debra checks out a T-shirt presented by Tom Sasser of
station KLIF, Dallas; above, she talks with KRIV-TV's talk-show host
Harold Gunn and actor Michael (FM) Brandon about the Houston gala.
\
IMPORTED CANADIAN WHISKY-A BLEND . BO PROOF САМЕТ OIST. CO., N Y.C.
Wherever you go, it’s making a
splash. What’s behind its super success?
Super lightness, supetb taste.
If that’s what you're looking for, set
your course for Lord Calvert Canadian.
Se a ee
ТЕ (РЕ Superstar Mec
P Xe Dun с SO MES
Your family will
love our family.
Our family has more than 60 children. And it’s still growing. Our family is the Quasar
electronics family. A family of 60 fine products that utilize the latest developments
in electronic, microwave and microcomputer technology to give you the ultimate
in performance and reliability. As a result of our efforts, we can offer you a wide
selection of fine television products in virtually every screen size.
We've got a whole new line of small AC/DC
battery-powered black and white portables
that let you take your favorite show wherever
you go, whether it's the boat, the beach, the
patio or out to the ballgame.
If youre in the market for a table model
color set, we've got one to meet your
needs. We've got 13”diagonal and 15"
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room, kitchen or den. And a broad range of 19”
(diagonal sets topped by a feature-filled model that even boasts an
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watch more vivid and exciting. And all of this is in addition to a line that
includes a broad range of 25” diagonal consoles boasting superb pictures
as well as exquisite cabinetry ina :
ММ wide variety of styles to match the
decor of virtually any room. Most manufacturers would have stopped
right there. But our family is still growing.
Back in 1976, we introduced the first two-hour home video cassette
system, the Quasar VR1000. Then, while many other companies were
trying to build their first, we added a second system, the Quasar VH5000,
boasting a full four-hour recording capacity. And that's nor all.
Soon we'll be introducing an incredible new projection television
system with a giant five-foot screen that fills your room with color and allows
you to become even more involved with all your favorite shows. (And unlike
other projection televisions you may have seen, ours has a unique lens system
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Quasar has even
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f As you can see, our family in Franklin Park, Illinois is ~
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Why don't you introduce your family to our family? It could be the beginning of a lifelong friendship.
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Quasar Electro
x Franklin Park, Illinois 60:
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY
HAPPY TENTH BIRTHDAY
TO LAKE GENEVA RESORT
Seems like only yesterday that
Playboy's Resort & Country Club at
Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, opened its
doors—with a surprise appearance by
Bill Cosby at an employees-only pre-
view followed by a gala charity bene-
fit. Actually, it was ten years ago, and
Cos returned to emcee the happy-
birthday celebration; that's Grant
Robbin, one of the featured enter-
tainers on the program, with him at
right. The staff at the Playboy resort,
which has just been given Mobil
Travel Guide's prestigious four-star
rating, pulled out all stops to enter-
tain its VIP guests а! the anniversary
bash. Included, besides the star-
studded show in the Entertainment
Center, were dinners, receptions and
pinball and backgammon tourneys.
At the grand finale, a bevy of Bunnies joins the Velvet Fog himself, singer Mel Tormé,
onstage in the Entertainment Center. Proceeds of the show went to the Variety Club
of Wisconsin's Children's Chariti
j, the Lake Geneva Y.M.C.A. and the Black United Fund.
HEFNER BOOSTS BROWN
While everybody else was celebrating at
Lake Geneva, Hef was playing host at a
fund raiser for California governor Jerry
Brown's re-election campaign. Above,
Brown, with Hefner at his side, addresses
the guests; at left, part of the crowd on
the sprawling Mansion West grounds.
For a private cocktail party and buffet
dinner, the resort's Cabaret was trans-
formed into a tropical fantasy complete
with flowering plants, ice sculptures,
goldfish swimming in pools and seem-
ingly endless, mouth-watering displays
of food such as the one being served
above. Below, the sentimental hit of the
anniversary show: Jazz pianist Eubie
Blake, 95 years young, does his thing.
Featured entertainer in the Cabaret at
Lake Geneva at the time of the birthday
parly was singer James Darren (below),
who did a one-man show Friday night,
as well as Saturday's stage spectacular.
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THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY
BRIDE-EYED & BUSHY-TAILED
When Bunny Valarie Henderson became
Mrs. Jeffrey Gaynor at the Playboy
Resor! & Country Club at Great Gorge,
she wore a white Bunny costume.
COVER GIRL INTERVIEWED
Our July cover girl, Pamela Sue Martin,
former star of the Nancy Drew video se-
Чез, talks with guest host Hugh Downs,
who was substituting for regular David
Hartman on ABC-TV's Good Morning,
America. Waking up to Pamela is a treat.
WE FOIL A BURGLARY
A would-be burglar at the home of Hank
Ingram in Norwich, Connecticut, might
have escaped with his loot but for us.
Ingram (above) returned to find a pile of
loot on his bed and a copy of PLAYBOY
on the floor by a closet. He sized up the
situation and locked the intruder in the
closet until the cops arrived. Case closed.
RECEPTION, SMOKER, CARTOON IN THE SPOTLIGHT
Margaret Standish, Executive Director of the Playboy Foundation, was honored at a re-
ception given by the Midwest Women's Center at the Artemisia Gallery, a showplace for
women’s art in Chicago. The gallery's Lucia Beier presented her with a wall hanging by
Phyllis MacDonald (left). Above, fun at the Cornell’ Smoker, sponsored annually by
Cornell University’s School of Hotel Administration in conjunction with the National
Restaurant Association convention and held this year at Chicago's Playboy
Towers. Below: Was Molley's Crew's creator following our Girls of the Pac 10 recruiters?
LOOKS MORE LIKE
A HIRING HALL FOR.
PLAYBOY MAGAZINE.
SO THIS 15
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The Jaguar S-type is strong. It is quick
and agile in its response to any challenge
on the road. That strength and agility
comes from a unique source: the famous
Jaguar electronically fuel-injected V-12
engine. An engine that is only 5.3 liters
in displacement, yet develops an aston-
ishing 244.4 horsepower at 5250 RPM.
Jaguar engineers call it virtually inde-
structible.
To further confirm that strength, an
S-type took five Category | victories and
the Driver's Championship in 1977, its first
Trans Am season
To match its uncommon power with its
handling. the S-type is fitted out with in-
dependent suspension all around, very
Precise power-assisted rack and pinion
Steering, four-wheel power disc brakes,
and steel belted radial tires. In fact, the
XJ-S may well be the best-handling four-
passenger car in the world
The sleekness of the S-type is not
merely cosmetic. It was achieved through
exhaustive wind tunnel tests. Its purpose:
to give the XJ-S even greater stability at
speed.
And the silence of Jaguar's S-type is
golden. It is the result of great care and
craftsmanship: thick rugs on the floor,
rich Connolly leather seats, thermostat
cally-controlled heat and air condition-
pe
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and so-many other thoughtful and luxuri-
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tions available whatsoever.
The XJ-S. Strong, sleek and silent.
Here is a car of such uncommon capabil-
ities and luxuries, that it may well redetine
your expectations of what a grand tour-
ing car can deliver.
For the name of theJaguar dealer
closest to you, call these numbers toll-
free: (800) 447-4700, or, in
Illinois, (800) 322-4400.
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DEAR PLAYBOY
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PLAYBOY BUILDING
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СОІВҮ OF THE CIA
Your July interview
rector of CLA Wi
your be
with former di
olby is simply
It is encourag-
ing to know that there are people such
as Colby who can talk with as much
knowledge of CIA operations and activi-
ties as did the likes of Snepp and Agee,
but without naming names, details and
locations of people still involved in those
important intelligence operations. Snepp
and Agee are no different from people
such as Benedict Arnold, Lord Haw-Haw
or Vidkun Quisling. Surely, they are en-
titled to no less an illustrious fate
Peter Lebowitz
Elmhurst, New York
Let me be one of the first to congrat-
ulate Laurence Gonzales on his репе
trating interview with William Colby.
broad and persistent question-
ing brought focus t several points that
Fm sure many thinking people have
wondered (and perhaps worried) about
for years,
Jesse К. Bailey
no, California
The Colby interview is a real Чоогу
Colby, when questioned the
mental stance of a fuzzy-thinking, con-
fused dullard. But be not deceived. 1 sus
acide of vapidity
ingly dev
fellow—one
ght vagueness in speech to a
gh art, Colby has given us an absolute
demonstration of the difficult discipline
ol speaking while sayi
ach night, kneel down
nks for the excel
done in th
rence Соп.
es, Asa Baber, all liberal
ck Anderson and all our
ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING MANAGER. S19 N. MICHIGAN AVE: DETROIT, WILLIAM F MOORE. MANAGER. fit тангы кїрє
LES, STANLEY L. PERKINS, MANAGER, 2721 EEVERLY BLVD.
liberal Democrats, both inside and out
side Congress. They have made our once.
good CIA the laughingstock of the
K.G.B. and the world. In competing with
our enemies, anyone who preaches
inst covert actions, illegal wire
ete., has to have his head in the sand
soon will get his tail blown off by our
enemies.
Robert Cillmor
Fredericksburg, Virginia
I have just finished reading the
Playboy Interview with Colby and per-
sonally feel that it justifies the price of
my two-year subscription! My compli-
ments to Gonzales for quite an insight
into one of the nation’s most intriguing
characters.
15/3 Ian M. Satchell
U.S. Navy
San Francisco, California
SAGAN AS SAGE
Concerning Carl Sagan's article in your
July issue titled Astral Projection and
the Horse That Could Count, Sagan has
many valid points on many topics.
ever, Sa; n ast
pert on ex
says the Dogon tribe could not have
come from the Dog Star, Sirius, Its
legends, he says, must have come from
contact with Europeans who used the
telescope or with those who read
about it and stopped by for a visit with
the tribe.
What nonsense! Where is
iiic or historical proof for
meni?
awrence Fenwick
UFO Research New
Willowdale, Ontario
I read with interest Carl Sagan's ar-
ticle Astral Projection and the Horse
That Could Count. While I am in full
accord with the necessity to combs
pseudo science, 1 object to the unsci
tific process of mixing "apples, огап,
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21
PLAYBOY
BALLY |
Footwear, apparel, and accessories
for the discriminating man.
SHOWN: Scotch-grain, all-leather one-suiter, $600.00; mahogany-
colored leather bag (#436), $135.00; 11 ¥2-inch, mid-calf boots (TEXAS)
in black and mahogany, $225.00; 6-inch zippered boots (on bed,
NELSON) in black, brown and navy, $146.00; 62-inch burgundy
jodhpur boots (in suitcase, CONTE), $185.00; belts, $38.00 each; ties,
$35.00 each.
For Style Folder, write Dept. S.
I VAR d of Switzerland
E 444 Madison Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022
and cows in onc pot" Specifically
object to a scientist of. Dr. Sagan's acu-
men who continues to confuse the UFO
phenomenon with one single thcory of
its origin; namely, that UFOs are ex-
traterrestrial spacecraft. On the basis of
experience in the study of the
problem, I think it quite unlikely that
such a complex phenomenon will reduce
to one single, simple solution. It is in-
cumbent оп us as scientists to be inti-
tely f: ar with the properties of
such an е we should study the
phenomenon and not just onc single
interpretation. We do know that UFO
reports exist, that they come from all
parts of the world and that m:
made by highly responsible peo
that is the phenomenon. Why it exists
should be the basis of our study.
Dr. J. Allen Hynek, Director
Center for UFO Studies
Evanston, Ilinois
It is, as always, a pleasure for me to
immerse myself in Carl 5а
His recent article will undoubtedly rouse
the indignation of those who do not
value rationality or, perhaps, have never
it. Fortunately, the law de-
s them of the only argument they
€ ever been able to use effectively —
the thumbscrew and the rack—so Carl
is sale,
C Asimov
New York, New York
Dr. Carl Sagan is certainly correct in
his assertion that the best antidote for
pseudo science is science, but the judg-
ment as to what constitutes false and
science can only emerge from seri
ous and responsible inquiry that be
with skepticism rather than do,
denials. "s well-balanced views are,
unfortun,
fellow scientists,
expel maverick claims as false without
proper assessment of the evidence. Al-
though the claimants for paranor
events include charlatans and fools,
gross error to lump all d
such phenomena into a common camp,
label them pseudo scientists and irrati
al and use the authority of current scien-
tific views to block furth
Ypsilanti, Michigan
I'll bring in a piece of
gan and NASA will br
à black hole.
3 UFO il Carl
in a piece of
Patrick Grace
icus, Gc
FONDA FACE-OFF
Who is J Harwood (Saint Jane and
the Hollywood Dragon, vtvuov, July)?
And for w possible rea
PLAYBOY seen fit to publish his not-so-fit
эһ has
character slashing? The fact that Jane
Fonda
terminally суп
same
verse
that
deserves. The good Samarit
actually à
lowed such a shallow,
al "reporter" to sit in the
trader with her, much less con-
calmly with him, is proof positive
nonization is the very least she
would surely have balked at such a task.
Jan
of а
about
but most of all, about her leftist pol
and how she was ^
Rikk David
Grand Rapids, Mich:
е Fonda couldn't act her way out
disco movie, Fm sick of hearing
her as actress, her “comeback,”
he” about the war.
You might be fooling them in Holly-
wood,
a cliché straight out of a rich-debutant
falls-i
fil
Jane, but the rest of us see you as
lovewith-poor-but-honest-laborer
of the Thirties. Grow up, Jane. Quit
hiding your Mercedes.
EVAN!
I'm
John Ryan
champaign, Mlinois
IGELICAL EVERTS
delighted that Playboy's Roving
Eye focuses on Kellie Everts in the July
uc
pictor
the years—trom her Miss Nude
crowning (
parable
1977)
Ive followed Kellie's career as
i "s pages thi
bruary 1968) to her incom-
of Humping Iron (Мау
to her evangelical ecdysis last
July—and have come to the conclusion
that sl
he possesses the most anatomically
perfect, God-given female form in Amer-
ica today. Kellie's conversion from the
sect ol
a Stripper for Christ m
ntry on to religion! I hope Kellie is
co
E One World ht and rebirth as
y turn the whole
reincarnated in PLAYBOY often.
Fol
issue,
William R. Jenkins IHE
Greenwich, Connecticut
lowing her appearance in the July
Kellie wrote:
“Tomorrow Гат going to Washington,
D.
where
to strip and to preach. The place
I will dance is the Plaza. Bur-
lesque Theater; the place where 1 will
preach is Lafayette Square, across from
the W
Vhite House. We have hundreds of
free rosaries and prayer. books to give
out. My theme will be that we must call
1o mi
nd the words of the Blessed Virgin
at Fatima—that she told us to pray the
Rosar
else.
y for the conversion of Russia—or
If Russia is not converted, there
IMPORT
LANCERS!
А RED DINNER WINE
vernon
LM. nvroNsECS UN
TENETE
“In California, call (408) 996-1010.
10260 Bandley Dr., Cupertino, California 95014.
23
GIVE MORE/SAVE MORE
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Mail your order to:
PLAYBOY, Р.О. Box 2420, Boulder, Colorado 80302
Or for Faster Service 24 Hours
Choose either
А, the Playmate of the
‘Year Card featuring
Debra Jo Fondren, or
B. the Playboy
Rabbit Card,
to announce your gift.
Circle preference here:
A
a Day, You Can Order by Phone: CALL TOLL-FREE 800-621-1116. (ох, call 8009726727)
Now's the time to do your gift shopping before |
the hectic holiday season begins. Take care of all!
the men on your list in one easy order.
and save, too, with our special holiday rat
Put pen in hand and order today
PLAYBOY
26
may be a nuclear war. My girlfriend in
Washington called the Soviet embassy
and invited them to come to a little press
party we are having. They said they
would ‘take it under consideration’ (ha-
haj. Who knows—miracles do happen.”
NEIMAN ADDENDA
The LeRoy Мей rtfolio in the
July issue of pLaynoy, which mentions
the electronic palette. neglects to include
the New York Institute of Technology
as part of a triumvirate. The picce
credits only CBS and Ampex while omit-
ting the important factor that the proto-
type system and all the subsequent
computer software were developed at
the college and made available to CBS
and Ampex. An claborate computer.
phics division exists ou campus th
tellectual mechanism behind this
п. The original software and
аге installations were entirely de
veloped by NYIT scientists Drs. Edwin
Catmull Smith at the
aphics center on the Old
у campus. The electronic-palette
system as it was released was a joint effort
by CBS, Ampex and the New York Insti-
tute of Technology.
Chris Capone, Director of
Public Relations
New York Institute of Technology
Old Westbury, New York
Excluding the fact that LeRoy N
man is an excellent artist, he should go
back to school and review his Roman
erals. The number 14 in Roman nu-
merals is XIV, not IVX (sce the foldout).
Perhaps he was using his artistic frec-
dom, but for us perennial students, he
kes it very confusing.
Jeremy J. Krantz
West Nyack, New York
TRUE GRIT
L thought Galahad (etavnoy, July)
was truly funky! The author, Walter L.
Lowe, Jr. might have occasional illu-
sions that he, too, is among the greal-
est... fiction writers, t is. His story
has the grit of truth to it and the ethnic
style captured їп all
splendor.
Benjamin Panky
Lucasville, Ohio
WHEN IT RAINS. . .
Congratu Miss
Elaine Morton, is by far th
tiful Playn
ions,
July, Karen
most beau-
ate E have ever seen
Rusty Key
Lockhart, Texas
Having recently returned from tem-
porary duty in Ireland, I was extremely
happy to find the July rLaysoy waiting
for me in my mailbox, Thumbing
through the pages, I found that Karen
Elaine Morton really warmed my chilled
bones! Keep up the good worl
Scott Goodrich
Homestead AFB, Florida.
Will do, Scolt. This shot should warm
you even in your new “homestead.”
Karen Morton is fabulous! If she
doesn’t get to be Playmate of the Y,
something's wrong. | wish I had bı
receiving PLAYBO п 1970, so 1 could
. Would
t a picture of Elaine from her
ate pictorial?
Don Fritz
Jackson, Mississippi
Glad to, Don. When we said Ma Vern
had good genes, we weren't kidding. Just
at cousin Elaine's chromo-
somes. The Morton family is the best
сизе we've seen [or cloning.
THE REAL PAMELA
Thank you for the pictorial of Pam-
cla Sue Martin (PrAvnov, July). She's a
; but T never really noticed
it until I saw Dick Zimmı ап'з fine
photography.
Lee С. Montgomery
Dallas, Texas
Gentlemen, don't you know that
zines such as yours are not supposed to
show pictures of girly that are actually
sexy? I refer to your photos of the lovely
Pamela Sue Martin, Don't you know that
such pictures as those can stir up certain
emotions that are unchristian (probably
un-Moslem and even un-Jewish, too)?
Glenn Rice
Missoula, Montana
magazine,
Sue Martin
nto grace
As avid readers of your fi
we can easily say that Pame!
is the most b al wor
your pages in a long tin
John D. Harmon
Phillip Z. Wholl
Gainesville, Florida
The pictorial gave me some insight
into а won I've always adored
admired. It was a pleasure getting to
know her a little better. ‘The photogra
phy by Dick Zimmerman is also excel-
lent. The idea of showing the subject
partially clad is stimulating and sexy, yet
still leaves something to the imagination,
With someone such as Pamela Sue Mar-
tin, it gives a pictorial a touch of class.
D. Pierce
San Francisco, California
My compliments to Miss Martin for
her decision to dispel her former ima
Her beauty, talent and sophistication
deserve much more attention. Her choice
in magazines is also excellent; no other
could have done her justic
Ward Heinke
Bay Village, Ohio
ve three copies of the July
The reason—Pamela Sue Martin,
Ken Poole
Fonthill, Ontario
STRAIGHT MAN
On page 207 of the July issue, in
Playboy Polpourri, you report on repro-
ductions of the three steel balls that
Captain Queeg used in The Caine Mu-
tiny. Well, here's what my copy of the
book says: "Queeg brought out a couple
of bright stecl ball bearings. He
reached a shaking hand into his trousers
and brought out the /wo steel balls."
And during the court-martial, Dr. Bird
testified. about Queeg's "rolling or rat-
ting of two marbles. So пот where
did the extra ball come?
J- Michael Keupp
Pawling, New York
Sorry, Mike. That's just too easy.
We're not going to bite.
21978 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.
“жу
|
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
tte thats
P || Winston.
AI taste.
к
(SEV
ERNEUT
Viris
orae
ИЯ
PLAYBOY
Early Times. Mix it up or keep it straighi
Say hello to
the Tomcat,
America's
peachiest new
Sour. Brought to
you live and in
living color by
Early Times and
Bar-Tender's®
Tomcat Instant Mix.
The Atlanta Belle is
so Incredibly smooth,
itll ring your chimes.
1 ог, Early Times, % ог.
Green Creme de Menthe,
34 oz. White Creme de
Cacao, 1 oz. cream,
shake with cracked ice.
Adda little
Early Times to
cola and you've
put two great
American tastes
in their place.
A 91055.
What, you've `
never sampled
the sweet-sour
delights of the
Pussycat? Hurry,
after all, you've
only got nine
lives! Another
super Sour
made with Early
Times and
Bar-Tender's*
Instant
Pussycat Mix.
Let's get down to
essentials. Early
Times and soda.
Or Early Times
and water. With
nothing between
them but a few
Icy cubes.
know us is to love us.
Вб or 80 Proof -fariy Times Distillery Co, Louisville Ky ЕТОС E 1978.
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS
BUMPER BABBLE
We had noticed them, too, these new-
style bumper stickers on which sexi
puns are played upon certain occup:
tions. As in, PILOTS KEEP IT UP LONGER or
MINERS DO TT DEEPER. What we had not
noticed, however, was the extent to which
this latest form of bumper babble has
grown. Now, thanks to a California
correspondent, this oversight has been
corrected, and we happily share with you
his collection of job-related bumper
stickers spotted on West Coast highways:
REPORTERS DO IT DAILY
TENNIS PLAYERS GET GOOD DEPTH ON
THEIR STROKES
TRUCKERS CARRY BIG LOADS
WATTERS SERVE IT PIPING HOT
GOLFERS SWING A STIFF SHAFT
TEACHERS DO IT WITH CLASS
BAKERS HAVE HOT BUNS
ACTORS DO IT ON CUE
CAR SALESMEN ARE OVERUSED
SERVANTS ENTER IN THE REAR
MAILMEN DO IT WITH ZIP
POLITICIANS DO IT CROOKED
WATCHMAKERS DO IT FOR HOURS
REAL-ESTATE, SALESMEN KNOW ALL THE
PRIME SPOTS
MUSICIANS USE THE RHYTHM METHOD
TAILORS FIT JUST RIGHT
EXECUTIVES HAVE LARGE STAFFS
LIBRARIANS MAKE NOVEL LOVERS
If our correspondent overlooked any,
е do let us know.
CROCKED COOKERY
We quote verbatim the first two para-
graphs of a recent press release from
Random House publishers:
n
Random House announced today
that one of the recipes in Woman's
Day Crockery Cuisine by Sylvia
Vaughn Thompson could cause a
serious explosion.
The recipe is for Silky Caramel
Slices and appears on pages 230 and
231 of the Random House cdition.
If the recipe is followed, the con-
densed-milk can could explode and
shatter the lid and liner of the crock-
ery cooker. Random House urges
that the recipe be obliterated with
crayon or black ink marker. It will
be omitted from the book in any
future reprints.
If there are any cooks left around to
buy them.
EST ASIN PEST
We used to think est (Erhard Seminars
Training) was just another goofy but
essentially harmless California cult/
therapy /philosophy | whatever, most
ly remembered as the one that doesn't let
you go to the bathroom. Lately, though,
we've noticed that est has taken its lumps
from some high-powered detractors
Semi-Tough, a movie ostensibly about
1, devoted most of its footage to
foot
satirizing an estlike outfit called Bi
A National Institute of Mental Health
study declared that est "simply scares
[trainees] badly and impresses them with
inscrutable Eastern philosophy that ca
not be analyzed by them, considering
their state during taining.” Science
News concluded that “among the tangi-
ble results now is a moderate cult of
about 100,000 cst graduates who p
proach life through cst maxims and
communicate largely in est jargon.
We found est's fiercest opposition,
meanwhile, right in est’s back yard, San
rancisco, where an organization called
nest (ie, not est) is rapidly gaining
momentum. "Est attracts lost souls who
were thrown out of the nest too soon,”
rperson Stuart Stein ("the name
born with") told us. "We invite
them to climb back in. But anyone who's
suspicious of somebody selling advice
might as well belong.
“Est says, "What is is. Very heavy. For
years, Popeye the Sailorman has been
saying, "I yam what I yam and tha's all
I yam. To us, est is merely psycho-
logical canned spinach for the weak of
mind and spirit. Est teaches people to
get ‘it.’ Nest says that they have too much
of it now. They need to get rid of it,
giv
for somebody else's.
“By harnessing anti-est fecling, nest
is becoming a powerful element in
California politics. All the candidates
welcome our support: We shout like pro-
lifers, push like Iranian students, dress
like gays and beam like Moonies.
MORE ON SEX
A 72-hour orgasm? We traced rumors
of a woman capable of this astounding
accomplishment to More University, a
San Francisco-area commune
been and
n-
t away, or at least exchange theirs
that has
teaching sex
techniques for more than ten years. We
stopped by one of its Oakland houses
one recent evening to eat an artichoke
and find out more about More Irom
investigating
28
PLAYBOY
30
Carol Bussey, и у registrar and
professor of Basic Sensuality.
“We believe that everyone is a sensual
being and that everyone comes equipped
with the right tool kit," Bussey told us.
"Unless your cock is less than half an
inch, you can satisfy any female. Frigid-
ity is a myth. Impotency is a myth. For
nine years, we've been experimenting
with how much sex a woman could con-
sume. We got to one woman having a
72-hour orgasm and still saying, "More,
more, more.” Everyone's first reaction is
to ask, "Isn't that exhausting?’ It’s not.
It’s another myth that sex is tiring. If
you're doing it right, sex is not tiring.”
We wondered how the 72-hour lady
managed to sustain herself for three
straight days. "Let's use three hours rath-
er than 72," said Bussey. “Seventy-two
sounds too dramatic, The truth we
have eight women who can come for
three hours on command. It is measura-
ble. It is repeatable. That's as scientific
as we can get it. Three hours we can do
any time. And every Saturday, we put
оп a show where a man gets a woman
off manually for an hour.
“You really have to take our courses
to understand how they do it. Women
can have these experiences only if they
enjoy their whole lives. Men are condi-
tioned to get olf any way they can. With
women, orgasms are harder to come by,
so to speak. From what I've seen—and
1 personally don't believe an orgasm
until I sec it—women have to go
through a mental as well as a. physical
process to find a universe that is right
enough to get off in.
“The only thing men need for more
sex is appetite. Physiologically, we can
verily that semen is produced every 20
minutes. There is no correlation be-
tween semen production and hard-ons.
A man can come with a hard cock or a
soft cock. He can have a hard cock with-
out semen or a hard cock with semen.
It all depends on how turned on the
woman is. Jf she wants it, she can get it.
"Men are like hot sports cars: "They
want somconc to red-line them, to take
them farther than they'll take them-
selves, because where they take them-
selves is really dull. Our men weren't
stupid. Once they found out the truth—
that women want sex before they want
a {ur coat or a house in suburbia—they
put all their auention on sex, Other
men are taught that if they give thei
women enou 1 goods, they'll
be happy. They're not and they don’t
understand why; women aren't allowed
to tell the truth about their bodies.
“More was started by Victor Baranco,
who had made a million dollars twice,
had a wife, two kids—all society's terms
for success at his beck and call—and it
wasn't making him happy. He decided
to form a society within society that was
Torn
have between 150 and 200 resident
members; we have the best sex informa-
tion in the world and we have just
applied to be a universi
“Victor handed us the blueprint for
society will be like in the year
2000. We're going in the same direction
as everyone else, but we're grabbing on
to it faster, We have jealousy handled,
We have the 72-hour orgasm handled.
We have sex handled, We have the how
to-haye-children-and-still-be-happy prob-
lem handled. Our only problem is that
we don't have time to write about this
stuff, because we're doing it so Last.”
Whew!
CHECKING IN
Scott Cohen interviewed Nudie, de-
signer to the rhinestone-cowboy stars of
showbiz, at the latter's offices in Los
Angeles.
PLAYBOY: Have cowboy styles changed
over the years?
nupie: If Tom Mix got outa his grave
and seen what we're makin’, he would go
back into his grave. It's too flashy. Too
loud. When we first got into the busi-
ness, we were just making cowboy clothes
with piping, and finally we got into
where it was a litle diferent and the
boys began to like it. Now it's outa sight,
you know.
PLAYBOY; Was Hank Wi
a Nudie suit?
nupte: Yes, he was. Now we do all his
kid's stull.
PLaynoy: How much are your suits?
NUDIE: We start at $175 and go up.
PLAYBOY: What was the most expensive
suit you ever made?
мине; Elvis Presley's gold-lamé suit cost
$10,000.
PLAYBOY: What w
NUDIE: 59500.
SPACE CYCLE
Last February, Robert Truax, the man
whose Skycycle sent Evel Knievel into
the Snake River Canyon, rolled a new
bird out of агора, California,
shop. The ci dubbed Volksrocket
the centerpiece of Operation Pri.
atc Enterprise, a million-dollar attempt
to send the world’s first private astronaut
on а no-frills suborbital space flight by
mid- 1980.
The 25-foot, oncand-a-half-ton Volks-
rocket was assembled trom a menagerie
of surplus guided-missile components at
а cost of 575,000. Its four Atlas vernier
eng 000 pounds’ thrust оп
a diet of kerosene and liquid oxygen,
enabling the rocket to loft a 190-pound
pa titude of 54 miles and
attain speeds in excess of 2500 mph. A
Spartan "astronaut compartment" in the
vehicle's nose has been fitted w a
form-fitti ‚а small fttype
oxygen system and three large viewports.
An autopilot system will keep the craft
on its preprogrammed trajectory.
Truaxs astronaut will have a pa
Jever at his finger tips to separate the
psule from the booster s
vehicle, should his courage or a
component fail. A twos
system will slow the Space Cycle to
survivable splashdown speed after re-
entry.
This past summer, the craft underwent
engine tests at Reaction Research
ute test facilities near Sacramento,
Alter calibrating the vehicle's
engines, Trus
liams buried in
your profit?
X3,
nes develop
iro
em performance.
pout acquiring an air-
certificate for the craft
by the FAA for all passenger-
in the U.S),
There prob-
(required
mying a
ruax laughed ,
n't anyone at the FAA knowledge-
nough to inspect the thing,”
The man’s all legs and
knows everything about leet.
Listen:
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but they also have to be made
for whatever youre going to
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32
(making Here Comes Mr. Jordan as
Р updated romantic fantasy called
Heaven Can Wait sounded like a terrible
idea when the announcement came out,
but maybe Warren Beatty knows some-
thing the rest of us don't. He engineered
Bonnie and Clyde and Shampoo into
being, which helped put him where he
today—and he's way up there. Beatty's
reer should climb into even higher
orbit with Heaven Can Wait. He pro-
duced it, stars in it, codirected it (with
Buck Henry), helped write it (with
Elaine May, no les). Who did what,
exactly, would be tough to determine,
but they must have been doing some-
thing right to produce a supernatural
love story as bright, witty and engaging
any movie to appear so far in 1978.
Some changes have been made—and
mostly for the better, if memory serves—
in the 1941 hit that starred Robert Mont-
gomery as a prize fighter who dies before
his scheduled time and is sent back to
earth, only to discover that his remains
have been cremated. With the help of
Claude Rains (as Mr. Jordan, a celestial
major-domo), Montgomery had to shop
around for another body in which to
spend the 50 years still owed. him. Es-
sentially the same plot serves for Beatty,
who's now star quarterback for the Los
Angeles Rams instead of a boxer. When
he finds himself en route to heaven or
wherever—confronted by James Mason,
as a Mr. Jordan second to none, and
Buck Henry, as an embarrassed Escort
who has goofed on his timing—he is
deeply indignant. "Cremated?" he pro-
tests. "Well, I'm starting against Dallas
on Sunday!" The deceased but undead
athlete, Joc Pendleton, ultimately chooses
a temporary abode in the body of a con-
servative industrial tycoon who's about
to be murdered by his conniving wife
(Dyan Cannon) and his male private
secretary (Charles Grodin). Subsequent
t English girl
who captivates Farnsworth the industrial-
when she demands that his company
abandon plans to build а refinery that
would destroy her native village. Mason,
Henry, Cannon, Grodin, Jack Warden
and Vincent Gardenia all contribute gen-
crously to a movie that bounces along
with a very relaxed, old-fashioned air.
Heaven Can Wait is alive and. well and
may gi isticated comedy a fresh
start.
.
All those lurid, colorful characters and
some of those big memorable scenes
from Casablanca are spoofed in Neil
Simon's The Cheap Detective (he never tips
taxi drivers), which does double duty as
Beatty in Heaven Can Wait.
A beatific Beatty,
achintzy Cheap Detective
and some Greasy kid stuff.
+ _
Channing, Сосо and Falk in Detective.
a roughshod parody of every private-cye
melodrama in the archives. Simon could
easily have knocked off this one during
a long weekend in Malibu. The humor
of the piece is hardly top-drawer: Woody
Allen did it better in Play It Again, Sam,
yet Cheap Detective is at least twice as
funny as Simon's Murder by Death,
which left me with a frozen smile at
best. Peter Falk, with his Humphrey
t imitation revved up in the title
role, sleuths around "a fictional city
named San Francisco, 7000 miles from
Casablanca.” He scours the underworld,
с we came
time when
The time is
love in
the world was innocent.
World War Two, and Falk's private eye
seems destined to hear hair-raising sexual
exploits from every dame he meets. /
Margret, Madeline Kahn, Eileen Bren-
nan, Stockard Channing, Marsha Mason
and Louise Fletcher are the principal
damsels in distress, with such funnymen
d straight men as James Coco, Sid
Caesar, Nicol Williamson and John
Houseman providing distress in several
flattering shades. Funniest bit is Falk's en-
counter with Caesar and Ann-Margret, as
a suspicious couple named Ezra and Jeze-
bel Dezire, though there are choice bits
throughout. Director of photography
John A. Alonzo has his own thing go-
ing, with a brilliant visual parody of the
period, and Dave Grusin's music incor-
porates а lushly romantic orchestration
of an oldy called Jeepers Creepers, an
apt substitute for As Time Goes By
when Falk and Fletcher go into their
Bogey-Bergman routines. Every murder
victim, apparently subject to instant
rigor mortis, dies standing up. There's
no reason for any of this. Cheap Detec-
tive will fade faster than your suntan but
brightens up the silly season, just the
same.
.
There is no chance that Creese will
slow down the John Travolta
on. While Travolta has charism
to burn,
he also needs all the star power he can
muster to rise above the general medioc-
rity of this flat filmization of Broad-
ways phenomenal hit mus its
original energy dissipated by fledgling
director Randal Kleiser. vase 15 over-
done, chaotically photographed, poorly
paced and often downright dull for any
moviegoer over the age of 15. To share
the burden with Travolta, his costar
Olivia Newton-John and Stockard Chan-
ning demonstrate their versatility and
ooze talent from every pore—though both
ladies look somewhat over the hill to be
playing high school chicklets back in the
Filties. Sha-Na-N. i
rock group called Johnny Casino а
Gamblers, with Frankie alon ca
Teen Angel, who sings the showstop-
ping Beauty School Dropout to Didi
Conn (one of the shrillest new comedi-
ennes, best known for last year’s slecper
You Light Up My Life, though her sing-
ing was dubbed). Still т ing on Broad-
way, Grease on film ain't got rhythm,
ain't got roots and raises sticky questions
as to why a bunch of high school kids
who started out as Chicagoans in the
play but seem to have been transported
to Los Angeles in the film should speak
with Noo Yawk accents and generally be-
ауе like the Lords of Flatbush. With-
out Travolta as an anticoagulant, Grease
would be Fifties nostalgia with the con-
sistency of pure glop.
.
While Grease covers the Fifties, look-
ing back at the tumultuous Sixtics is
the "in" thing for youth movies. Much
of the brainless pap that’s churned out
t as
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lays makes me feel that no one
the age of 20 should be allowed
into the theater unless accompanied. by
an adolescent. Writer-director John
Milius’ Big Wednesday, a solemn hymn to
his own youth as part of the California
surfing scene, offers an entirely different
kind of problem. Anything but frivolous,
the movie is nonetheless a total wipe-out
except for 15 or so minutes of first-rate
surf footage with stars Jan-Michael Vin-
cent, William Katt and Gary Busey on
the boards, plus fleeting glimpses of such
contemporary surf kings as Gerry Lopez
The rest of it, a collaboration between
Milius (а Wunderkind screenwriter who
turned to directing in Dillinger and The
Wind and the Lion) and co-author Den:
nis Aaberg, follows three close friends
through a decade of growing up. While
Vietnam and race riots rage around them,
they get married, get jobs, go to war or
dodge the draft, and reunite periodically
to dream their boyish dreams of an awe
some Big Wave, It always seems to come
on a Wednesday, according to a surf bum
and semimystic named Bear (Sam Mel
ville) who plays guru to the threesome
Nothing works when Milius gets more
than an inch away from the water, De-
ıuse he studies the social and. psycho-
logical aspects of surfing with such heavy
reverence that you'd think these ne'er-
de J sun gods were nembers of an
obscure Tibetan r lous order. The
are pranksters without humor, dropouts
so shallow that you don’t much care how
or whether or not they drop in again
When they meet as if by instinct on the
historic Big Wednesday, having lost track
of one another for several years, they
carry their boards down to the sea with-
out so much as a hello—in a moment
ıhats plainly meant to be cosmic but
comes off affected and artsy, All three
male stars are personable cnough to de-
light their fan clubs, though everyone
else is likely to nod olf between waves.
To catch Buseys act in depth, see The
Buddy Holly Story.
.
Moving right along from sociology
on a surfboard to unabashed. slapstic
National Lampoon's Animal House takes the
blue ribbon. Never mind the fine points:
There are no fine points, exactly, in
this bawdy broadside spoof directed by
John Landis as if higher education were
synonymous with low comedy. One of
the film's three authors is Dartmouth
graduate Chris Miller, who must have
contributed some of the raunchier de-
ls about fraternity life back in 1962
(valuable research for his collaborators,
ex-rLAYBOY staller Harold Ramis and
Douglas Kenney, in сизе they had
foolishly frittered away their school days
mastering liberal arts). The Delta
pledges and upperclassmen in Animal
House all seem to be majoring in pills,
pot, brawls and sex. Tim Matheson,
Thomas Hulce and James Daughton lead
Fun & games in Animal House.
Belushi rescues an uneven
Animal House, while
Busey shines as Buddy Holly.
Busey as Buddy Holly.
the revels, and are often riotous, though
mumero uno as a scene stealer is Saturday
Night Live's irrepressible John Belusl
Whether he's climbing a ladder to peek
at topless coeds or bemoaning his expul-
sion for achieving an unprecedented
ide point average of 0.0 ("Seven years
of college down the drain!"), Belushi is
consistently hilarious im an irreverent,
wobbly, semiliterate, intentionally sopho-
moric farce that might have been con-
cocted during a panty raid or a drunken
homecoming weekend. It ain't what
you'd call comedy cum laude, but Ani-
mal House is sure to become required
viewing for multitudes of Lampoon
Junatics and friends of John Belushi
D
Two kilos of hashish figure impor-
tantly in Midnight Express, a harrowing
dramatization of the reallife nightmare
endured by Billy Hayes, a Babylon,
Long Island, student who was sentenced
to long-term imprisonment in a Turkish
jail for trying to smuggle hash out of
Istanbul. The time was 1970, when the
U.S, and Turkey were crossing diplo
matic swords over Cyprus—a polit
nuance beyond the ken of Hayes, who
simply planned to board an airplane
with some dope strapped to his body so
he could sell it to friends back
After his escape some six years later
(the title is prison jargon for a break
out), Hayes and William Hoffer wrote
a blow-by-blow account of the abuses he
had suffered—brutal beatings, homosex-
ual assaults, mental and physical torture
that would kill any man, or turn. him
into а beast bent on survival. Oliver
Stone's screenplay, masterfully directed
by Alan Parker (whose Bugsy Malone
was a featherweight take-off on
еріс, with kids playing all the parts),
captures the full horror of it in a
movie thats short on entertainment
values—harsh and unrelentingly real
tic throughout—but admirable as ап
ode to stubborn. human. indomitability
inst apparently hopeless odds.
When Midnight Express had its world
premiere at the Cannes festival, there
were quibbles in some quarters about
the movie's "racism" in depicting
Haves's Turkish jailers as cruel one-
dimensional demons (he does, in fact,
publicly denounce them as “pigs” in a
nation that deplores eating pork). How-
ever, it doesn't whitewash the inequities
of our own prison system to dramatize
the injustice done to a young Amcricin
whose punishment was far more heinous
than his sappy juvenile crime. Such cases
are common- just ask any pot smoker
who has ever been clapped into a grisly
Mexican jail for possessing a couple of
joints. In the role of Hayes, clean-cut
Brad Davis (a newcomer in the James
Dean tradition, with prestigious TV
credits from Sybil and Roots) makes his
first feature film a strong bid for instant
stardom—straightforward and credible
т a wide range of emotionally
charged scenes, as when he runs amuck
and mutilates a vicious guard by biting
off his tongue, or when his girlfriend
(Irene Miracle) arrives from the States
for a visit and he tearfully masturbates
while she presses her breasts DUE
plate-glass dividing wall. Randy
John Hurt and Paul Smith lend E
ic support in an abrasive, disquieting
movie, further enhanced by Giorgio
Moroder's unique musical score, which
sneaks up on you like а coronary sei
zure. Easy it ain't, but Midnight Express
is not to be missed.
hom
б
As musical biographies go, The Buddy
Holly Story is a toe-tapping wonder, rich
and rhythmic and as American as apple
pie in tribute to the short happy life
of Holly—an carly rock^n^roller. who
died in a plane crash in 1959 at the age
of 22. Some 45 hit songs, many of them
still revived regularly, were Holly's leg-
acy, though his professional career lasted
35
PLAYBOY
36
scarcely three years. This down-home
genius from Lubbock, Texas, seems а
deeply nostalgic figure now, when rock
stars tend to be identified with drugs
and groupies. Holly loved one girl (his
widow, Maria Elena, charmingly played
by N d was an exem-
play young ccording to this
authorized bio, which avoids sentimental
slosh to concentrate on musical evolu-
tion and. character development. In the
title role, Cary Busey does his g-
ing as mover and shaker of Buddy Holly
and the Crickets—with Don Stroud
and Charles Martin Smith showing equal
musicianship and all-round talent as the
drummer and the bass man of a trio
that broke the color barrier and became
the first white group to play Harlem's
Apollo Theater. They were so damned
good, everyone expected them to be
black. Busey's pe
ple and unassuming on the surface, the
skill of it scarcely shows—and th:
talent. The Buddy Holly
good vibes and gets under your skin—
under mine, at any rate—because direc-
tor Steve Rash, in his feature-film debut,
is quite clearly performing a labor of
Jove, not just cranking out a flashy com-
mercial showpiece.
REVIEWS BY BRUCE WILLIAMSON
.
богу Busey, ап cighl-year veteran of TV
and movies, suddenly finds himself one
of the hottest young actors in Holly-
wood. Major—and starilingly different—
roles in the films “Straight Time," “Big
Wednesday” and, especially, “The Bud-
dy Holly Story," in which Busey single-
handedly lights up the screen as the
horn-rimmed rock"n'-voller from Texas,
have opened up a world of options for
the personable, energetic 34-year-old.
Busey, who did his own vocals and guitar
playing for “Holly,” is as at home at a
rock concert as he is on a movie set.
As a drummer, he has toured with Leon
Russell and Willie Nelson; and a gold
record of Leon’s “Will œ the Wisp”
album hangs on the wall of his home
near Los Angeles, where writer Tom
Nolan caught up with him recently.
лувоу: Where are you from, Gary?
BU: Goose Creek, Texas, is where I
was born. Goose Creek, Texas, on Black
Duck Bay, where the mosquitoes are so
big they wear khaki pants and rope
penders; where the roaches march
formation. I grew up in Tulsa. Middle-
class Oklahoma in the Fifties; what an
uptight time that was, I spent most of
my time shining the lockers, man, stayin’
out of the way of the big guys. They
used to have crowbar fights. The first
thought that went through my mind
when the bell rang was, God, I hope 1
make it home without gettin’ depantsed,
or beat up, or hı
me.
PLAYBOY: When did you get out of there?
uusty: In 1962, I went to college up
North, in Kansas, to play football. Got
a dramatic scholarship after my knees
played out. I was playin’ drums in a
band, too. We'd make 5300 a weekend,
at Oklahoma State University, then we'd
come out here to L.A,
time. Our first night hac
played a place in
Canoga à Go Go. It boa
longest bar in the
Behind the bar was
with platini ad a balcony t
would have made Carol Doda close her
eyes. Rhinestone pasties that looked like
hubcaps. She'd dance to hits from the
jukebox durin’ our breaks. The clientele
there were mostly your fillin’station gu
lumberyard guys, mechanics, b
such. Our first night, our first s
90 people settin' right in front, we're
playin’ Sometimes Good Guys Don't
Wear White, by The Standells, and, for
no apparent reason, all at once every-
body starts fightin’. The ol’ girl behind
the bar, she's di herself off with a big
beach towel, she hollers at us, “Keep on
playin'!" Two guys who look like they're
from the University of Mars move in,
dust everybody olf, and pretty soon
there's not a soul in the place; every-
paint thrown on
the summer-
п 1900, wc
ady of about 40,
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© The Gilette Company. 1978
Writing with a ball-point
can be a real drag. But now
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Score another point for Flair
body's outside, beatin’ the pulp out of
cach other. We played four hours and
got paid 50 bucks. My first taste of show-
biz in the town.
PLAynoy: How did you get into acting?
nusev: 1 moved out here permanently
in "6B, and 1 met a guy named James
Best, who taught me how to work in front
of a cam Fd majored in theatrical
art at school, but he told me you can't
teach acting. You can teach history of
the theater, but you can't tell a. person
how to feel. Jimmy taught you to have
your technical chops down, to hit your
marks and find your key light, to know
the frame line is. my Best
Boot Camp is what 1 used to call it. He'd
never pat you on the back. He'd get in
your hip pocket and just chew you up
until you learned. Id get so frustrated
Га be in tears, four o'clod the mom.
' me. He told me I didn't hav
АП you have to do is
Let the
the director point you and steer you. Be
unconscious of yourself. You're just a
vehicle. Open yourself ир” He taught
me from the heart. I couldn't even al-
ford to pay the guy. My wife, Judy, was
workin’ to support us while I lear
all about this avision мий. Then I
got my first TV job in 1970, on The
High Chaparral: hitting somebody in the
face with a stick while they was sleepin’.
PLAYnoY: But you got more challenging
things to do after that, didn't you?
позву: Yeah, we did two and a hall y
of some pretty extensive stuff before I
hung up my TV shoes to go and play
drums with Leon Russell for a while. T
got to do some wonderful TV movies,
including The Law and The Execution
of Private Slovik. 1 did a unique series,
The Texas Wheelers, 1 got to be the
last guy to die on Gunsmoke, 1 worked
with Bobby Blake and Strother Martin
and MacKenzie Phillips in a Ватейа. lus
all who you mect and what vou can take.
IE vou make yourself desperate and
vulnerable when you work, your com.
municition lines seem to be much more
open.
rLAYBOY: What do you mean by "des
perate
BUSE
nd vulnerable"?
You know how you feel when the
adrenaline’s runnin’ through your body?
Just before the kickoff. Just before the
gun that starts the race. Just before
goes up, before they say,
lrenaline. all
the time, running through you so you
can tap it, How do you get that? You're
1, you're on edge.
. whether it’s saving
rLaynoy: How does that apply to your
recent movies?
BUSEY
Time. 1 stayed depressed all the ti
was hard to keep myself in that place. I
the hardest working day of my life.
I've never been pumped so hard by an
other actor offcamera as | was by Dustin
- He had me to the point of
He just kept makin' small
on ith
on it! Don't let it out!
1 couldn't stop sobbing.
work on that edge of emot
I's like working with nitroglycerin.
‘That's the substance 1 wor ; that's
my clay.
Then I went into Big Wednesday.
lost 35 pounds. My waist went from
to 31. Гуе been an athlete all my life,
but in three months’ work with Vince
Gironda at Vince's Gym in North Holly-
about nutrition
than Td ever
ing how to surf!
ncent and 1 spent three
ш with Gerry Lopez
the finest surler in the w
es on the side of a
Camp, Jan and I called it, We slept
on the floor, with no heat. Gerry woke us
ed ol.
ichael
opinion,
Hel
37
PLAYBOY
38
every morning to observe the sunrise.
"Then he would grind coffee beans. We'd
have coffee and then go out to the most
difficult spot he could find. My first day
of surfing—in my life!—was on Honolua
Bay. The waves were breakin’ at
fect and they were movin’ like locomo:
tives. What am I doin’ here? I've never
been so scared in my life, layin’ on a
board out in that water. I had the crash
course! But with the best guys in the
world.
OK, that was Big Wednesday: For
that, I had short blond hair and was
built like a stallion. 1 go right into
The Buddy Holly Story off the maxi-
mum definition diet, cut out the protein,
go to low carbohydrates, smooth out the
body, ‘cause Holly didn't have any mus-
cular situation goin’ on. Lost more
weight, down to about 160. They cut
my hair real close, gave me three per-
manents and dye jobs, curled it every
day. Glasses. By that time, I didn't know
who the fuck I was when I looked in
the mirror. But that was good! "Cause it
put me farther away from myself, Gary
Busey was nowhere around, which made
me even more desperate and vulnerable,
Our friends out in Tulsa, in Goose
Creek, in Kansas City and Dubuque—
when they see a guy up on that screen
who's not lip-svncing, who's really play-
ing and singing live and is scared to
death, they're seeing something that's
beyond acting. It's like watching an ап
mal or a baby, and the audience knows
subconsciously that that animal is not
goin’ by any script; it may do anything!
There's an excitement goin’ on, ап un-
known aspect. I like to have that aspect
when I'm working. The movie was done
on а shoestring, so the rock-’n'-roll clause
was in effect, which means the clock
doesn’t stop. You don't go to bed. 1 was
totally, completely Buddy Holly, all the
time, But it took another two mov
their drive and intensity, to get me to
that level
PLAYBOY: How do you feel about all the
attention you're getting now?
BUSEY: It’s hard to have any feeling.
АП these fantasies you've had are start-
ing to manifest themselves in the
physical world. And, uh, all I can say is
Wow! Dublya, oh, dublya! Whoever in-
vented that word knew what he was
talkin’ about. It's like being in the сус
of a hurricane, Its like lightning striking.
To be going along for eight years and
then, all of a sudden, have this happen.
I just realized a couple of days ago, I'm
not in control of anything. 1 didn't plan
any of this. 1 think one of the rules of
show business js that there are no rules.
105 like rock "n' roll. It's a real high
point now and, at the same time, it’s a
low point, ‘cause you think, Now what?
But I like both those feclings. I like liv-
ing on the edge. That's about all there is
to it: to live out on the edge.
XRATED
ро, or steal-
ing from the
classics to inject
some quality into
the standardized
hump and grind
of hard-core films,
has become S.O.P.
for porno ped-
dlers, Writer-pro-
ducer-director
Kenneth Schwartz
openly acknowl-
edges that Fiona on
Fire owes a lot to
Laura, the glossy
1944 thriller with
Gene Tierney as
the mysterious
Fiona: Laura, with sex.
Porn) and turns
out to be a kind
of penis Вугар
Íor curious cus-
tomers. Why this
collage of erotic
fantasies is titled
Het Cookies is
anybody's guess,
though the girls
are yummier thin
usual and there
are choice, tart-
ly seasoned bits
spilling from a
pornocopia of fa-
miliar blue-movie
notions. A couple
of improper Vic-
beauty, supposed-
ly murdered, who
nevertheless ех,
uded such allure
that detective Da-
na Andrews fell
Sylvester Stall
Fiona on Fire apes Laura;
Hot Cookies boasts a
torian misses do
their usual thing:
ап arist gets
lucky at the beach
with a sun-baked
Danish dish. More
lone double.
hopelessly in love — —
with her. Fiona
has pretty much
the same plot: a
missing girl; a
smitten detective
(Sam Dean stand-
ing in for An-
drews); a woman's
dead body, face
blown away; mis-
taken identity.
What's been
added, of course,
is graphic sex.
Fiona in flash-
backs, with some
of her closest asso-
ciates caught from
time to time fia-
grante deliclo, As
interesting is a
Rocky rip-off dom-
inated by an
ersatz Italian stal-
lon who looks
strikingly like Syl-
vester Stallone,
though his gym
workouts tend to
emphasize muscle
tone below the
belt. Best of show,
again, is Abiga
Clayton (alo in
New Girls of
Porn) as а slum-
ming socialite
who cruises
around in a
limo—picking up
and discarding
such things go, men as if she w
it's a superior job uying on hats.
of plagiarizing a Hard hats.
time-tested story, .
erotic and provoc-
ative. The weak k is Fiona herself,
played by former Playboy Bunny Amber
Hunt (ee The New Girls of Porn in our
July 1977 issue), who happens to be dead
wrong for the part, Amber is feisty, shape-
ly and sexy in the manner of а precocious
baby sitter who just might make out with
the man of the house. But haunting mys-
tery is not her bag, which diminishes
Fiona on Fire so drastically that Schwartz
might have been wiser to call it Z
Dreamed I Was a Teenaged “Laura.”
А
Some paintings come to life in the
back room of a sex shop that features а
resident sorceress (Serena BlaqueLord,
also one of rLAvsov's 1977 New Girls of
Pseudo Sly in Hot Cookies.
To establish the
tone of Little Girls Blue, a rigid pristine
penis looms upon the screen like that
monolithic slab from 2001. Phallus wor
ship, it turns out, is the most. popular
subject with students at a boarding
school for nubile girls. Tamara Morgan
and К. C. Winters, as Kathy and Misty,
are the belles of the balling in this
smooth West Coast quickie directed. by
Joanna Williams, a lady obviously well
acquainted with the curriculum. Coach
Fowler (Ken Cotton) and biology teach
er Mr. Barrett (Paul Thomas, who por
trayed a saint in the film version of Jesus
Christ. Superstar) ave the girls" chief sex
objects, either in fact or in fantasy. We
give Lillle Girls a passing grade. —n.w.
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TELEVISION
reviews: The new TV season will sce
the launching of 21 weekly series en-
tries when the annual network battle for
prime-time supremacy begins on Mon-
ау, September 11, Scheduled are comedy
and iniseries, tele
ariety shows,
novels and the usual choice of F
imports in Public Broadcasting’s classy
cultural ghetto.
ABC Television has such a host of
returning hits that only five new series
are slated to scare hell out of the opposi-
tion. Battle Star: Galactica will star Lorne
Greene as commander of a space ship
5 а long way from Bonanza, with
high hopes of becoming the TV equiv-
alent of Siar Wars. There's also ап un-
earthly touch of comedy afoot in Merk
& Mindy, with Robin Williams as a
visitor from the planet Ork, enjoying
close encounters with Dawber, a
wholly terrestrial charmer named Mindy,
Texi and Vega$ will explore, respec-
tively, the world of New York cabbies
and America’s gambling capital, where a
tough private eye (played by Bob UL
rich) takes on all kinds of trouble with
tongue in cheek. So what else is new?
ABC's Apple Pie features Rue McClana-
han (Maude's neighbor) as a lady who
hires a family of eccentrics to cheer her
up during the Depression and maybe
keep up with The Waltons of CBS.
The NBC roster is subject to last-
minute changes under the watchful eye
of new president and programing genius
Fred Silverman, after his defection from
ABC-TV. Likely to survive is another
Vegasbased series, Who's Watching the
Kids?, about a couple of local ladies
and their young kim. If that gamble
doesn't pay off, NBC-TV at least
seven other contenders, including Lifeline,
a daring prime-time documentary series
about the private and professional lives
of doctors, with real medicine men play-
ing themselves; The Woverly Wonders, star-
ring Broadway Joe Namath as a high
school basketball coach plagued by a
hopeless team and an ble p
cipal (Gwynne Gilford); Sword of Justice,
with Dack Rambo as an ex-con who
assumes a double life—as a “Tennis,
one?" gadabout by day, a modern Zorro
righting wrongs by night; WEB. will
uy to go Network one better with its
portrait of a dynamic lady TV execu-
tive (Pamela Bellwood), presumably the
crusty but benign chief of specialevents
programing; Grandpa Goes to Washington
stars veteran character actor Jack Albert-
son as 1 codger getting into poli-
tics; Capra brings us newcomer Vincent
Baggetta as an antr-establishment lawyer;
and Dick Clerk's Шуе Wednesday promises
to be unpredictable but is probably ex-
actly what you think it is. An upcoming
Bates in Casterbridge.
Attack of the Giant
iseries: new Roots,
Michener's Centennial
and Alan Bates in PBS’
The Mayor of Casterbridge.
series called Coastocoost—with Linda
Watkins and Melanie Griffith as naugh-
ty stewardesses aboard a transcontinen-
tal jetliner—has reportedly been shelved
by Silverman, at least until midseason.
Still aloft at CBS, the airborne Flying
High will have three sweet young things
(Pat Klous, Connie Sellecca and Kath-
ryn Witt) fetching for
similar in-flight fun and games. The
boys at CBS will also mine their own
back yards with a couple of TV new
researchers, Priscilla Barnes and Debra
in The American Girls. Althoug!
s no way of knowing who was first
in this game of pilfered TV packages,
CBS has still another crusading lawyer
who earned his law degree behind
its called Kaz and Ron Liebman h:
the title role. Evidently cribbed from
old and fairly recent movies аге The Poper
Chase, with John Houseman as a crusty,
notso-benign law professor making Ше
hell for his studeni
costa
dust the Beginning,
ng McLean Stevenson and Pris-
cilla Lopez as Father Cleary and Sister
Agnes, getting laughs in the name of
God in an inner-city storefront mission.
Had enough? There's more inside stuff
to come from WKRP in Cincinnati, designed
to harvest antic hay from what happens
when a down-at-the-heels radio station
switches to a rock'n'roll format. Mary
Tyler Moore also tries a new format
in Mery, a standard variety hour; then
there's CBS’ hopeful cighth wonder,
People, featuring hostess Phyllis George
with a TV magazine full of glamor and
gossip.
б
A glance ahead at the big dramatic
specials in store for the 1978-1979 sea-
son appears to give ABC а slight edge,
with Roots: The Next Generations imminent
a 14-hour sequel to Alex Haley's histor-
ic blockbuster, and Ike, a six-hour drama
pout General Dwight Eisenhower's war
years, with Robert Duvall starred oppo-
site Lee Remick (who does not play Ma-
s Weaver, Angie Dickinson,
Robert Wagner, Lesley Ann Warren and
World War Two figure prominently in
Pearl, another six-hour ABC epic set
against the explosive backdrop of Pearl
Harbor around December 7, 1941.
"Those who prefer gilded trash to apoca-
lyptic upheavals can just watch for The
Users, a two-hour ABC-TV movie adapt-
cd from Joyce Haber's junky Hollywood
novel, with Jaclyn Smith, Tony Curtis,
Joan Fontaine, Michelle Phillips and
George Hamilton impersonating the
power elite in Tinseltown. NBC's major
effort for 1978-1979, of course, will be
its 25-hour adaptation of Centennial, the
monumental James Michener novel that
covers cons in the life of a Colorado
town, with a galaxy of players headed
by Richard Chamb n, Raymond
Burr, Barbara Carrera, Sally Kellerman
and Chief Dan George. Other major
miniseries in the works at NBC-TV.
Beggar Man, Thief (a sequel 10 Irwin
Shaw's Rich Man, Poor Man); Backstairs
at the White House (cight hours of revela-
tions about our First Families from Taft
through Eisenhower); A Women Called
Moses (Cicely Tyson in a biography of
Harriet Tubman); plus lengthy novels
on TV from Aldous Huxley's Brave New
World, Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women,
James Jones's From Here to Etornity and
James T. Farrell's Studs Lonigon. You
E у they're not trying.
.
As usual, the bulk of material avail-
able for prescreening and review come:
from PBS. Top of the new season's
highlights appears to be Masterpiece
Theatre's seven-part. series The Mayor of
a brilliant actor
currently brightening up movie marquees
as the favorite mate of dn Unmarried
Woman, plays the title role in this liter-
ate, gorgeously filmed adaptation of a
‘Thomas E ly perennial. Bates's Dris-
tling Mayor is a man whose fate is sealed
forever by a cruel and senseless trans-
gression during his youth—when he
drunkenly auctions off his wife and in-
fant daughter at a county fair. The bar-
gain sticks, the wages of sin are bitter
4l
PLAYBOY
42
and Bates creates a fascinating portrait
of a man whose entire life seems to be
an act of slow suicide. To watch Caster-
bridge is like curling up by the fire, week
fter week, with a long-neglected book.
б
lmed in France and id, Marie
Curie stars Jane Lapotaire with a superior
English cast in a tasteful five-hour bio-
ical epic about the world's most
ted woman scientist, discoverer
adium and recipient of two Nobel
Prizes. What we didn't know from early
exposure to Greer Garson's formula Hol-
lywood bio of 1943, Madame Curie, was
that the same Polish-born Frenchwoman
figured in a couple of scandalous love
пз and was a stubborn, unorthodox
feminist who refused to the end to admit
ii
1 radioactivity might be dangerous to
ne's health (though it probably killed
Sharp personal insights, plus popu-
r science deftly disguised as history
make Marie Curie credible and dram
cally potent in an unassuming way.
.
Coproduced by BBC television апа
Time-Life Video under a grant from
Xerox, The Long Search features Ronald
Eyre—a British playwrightdirector who
appears to be play-acting the kind of
host role usually assigned to Kenneth
Clark or Alistair Cooke—in a cursory
but unbiased study of world religions.
Jesus s get short shrift, but Eyre's
Search seldom lags during its 13 episodes,
from the opening show, Protestant Spirit
USA. which studies born-again Bap-
tists and Methodists in Indianapolis, to
Zulu Zion, on the South African leg of
à 150,000-mile odyssey that covers Lon-
don, Kyoto, Rome and Banares without
once swallowing dogma or arriving at
any comforting conclusions.
.
Two Chicago movie critics—Roger
Ebert of the Sun-Times and Gene Siskel
of the Tribune—are going national with
their PBS program Sneak Previews, which,
when it started a couple of years age
as a local show on the Windy City’s
WwrTW, alled Opening Soon at
а Theater Near You. (The title was
dumped when it was found to be too
wordy for most TV-listing publications.)
Ebert, the country's only Pulitzer Prize
winning movie aiti, and Siskel will
hold forth every two weeks on current
film fare, includi оп occ =
ovie releases, showing film clips from
ach. The two have the most fun, to all
appearances, with thei Dog of the
Week" selections, those pictures they
individually find the worst bets (sample
past. picks: Master of the Flying Guillo-
tine, Gray Lady Down). I's all done in
ely, bantering style—and at the end
of the half hour, you've learned a lot
abour what's going to be showing at
your local Bijou.
ion,
DINING & DRINKING
ood evening;
I'm Carol and
your waiter will
be Rasputin," was
the cowgirl's open-
ing line at Molly
Murphy's House of
Fine Repute, а funky
Oklahoma City
restaurant (1100
South Meridian)
where an all-star
st of costumed
ters and wait-
resses dishes out
theatrics along
with beef and sea-
food specialties. In
city that named
its airport alter
will Radel you
expect а cert
amount of levity,
wi
Oh, yes, the food
Molly Murphy's
prime-
rib-and-seafood
menu (из un
rolled оп a large
scroll) is not com.
prised of the
stuff that culinary
dreams are made
n, but the offer
ings are good and
tasty—and who
be thinking
scriously bout
food in a joint
like this?
Owner Bob Ta
yar spent over
$1,000,000 on the
building and fur
nishings; the mo
tif changes every
12 feet. One table
but when your
dinner is served
by а white-robed,
bearded man with
one blackened eye,
a dagger tucked
his sash and a
There’s a restaurant in
Oklahoma City where your
waiter is Rasputin—or C-3PO.
is totally enclosed
in a bamboo |
Diners can
inside а w
well or against
the stone-wall
evil leer second
only to the one Lionel Barrymore wore
in his MGM portrayal of the mad mouk,
you don't laugh.
Rasputin is not the only recognizable
t Molly Murphy s; Blacula,
п, Mr. Spock (the Star Trek
Spock), General Custer, Hot Lips Houli-
han, Wee Willie Winkie, Abe Lincoln,
Henry Morton Stanley (searching for Dr.
Livingstone, we presume) and Batman
wander by; and you can sense that there
are more costumed loonies lurking about,
just waiting to pop up when you least
expect them.
Shortly after Rasputin took our order,
an altercation developed between him
and Blacula over something Rasputin
had said. (The way we heard it, the mad
monk called the count a "sorry sucker.")
Blacula responded by drawing a four-
foot sword. Rasputin just happened to
have a similar weapon tucked under his
robe and off they went in a flurry of
tinkling Russian bells and flowing red-
lined cape, dueling among the customers’
tables. For the denow nt, the pair sud-
denly wheeled and pointed their swords
an unlucky patron.
Not only does Molly Murphy's
like a madhouse inside, but its ext
a patchwork of rough-cut wooden
gles and Byzantine stained-glass windows
topped by a crownlike dome, gives the
rest tthe appearance of a Russian
Orthodox church that mated with a
ranch house.
seem
backdrop of
English castle. If you dig behindithe
scenes tours of movie studios, you'll love
Molly Murphy's.
Then theres the salad car, a shiny
red Jaguar XKE parked in the middle
of the dining room. Fitted into the hood
and trunk are buckets of soup, salad and
accompanin
mechanic dressed in a blue racing suit.
As if all this isn't enough, Molly Mur-
phy's also offers a Bacchus F
ties of four or more at 59.95 е;
meal, according to Tayar, is "damn near
like an orgy." A feast for [our [catu
а 36-ounce sirloin and а whole chicken
surrounded by baked onions, tomatoes,
bell peppers, carrots, mushrooms, boiled
potatoes and heaping mounds of fruits
of the season—all toted on a huge plat-
ter to your table by a conga line of si
ing waiters and waitresses.
Buoyed by Molly Murphy's succe
Oklahoma
opened a second one in Tulsa and there
are plans for others in Denver and Dal-
las. We've also learned that the Star
Wars craze has hit Molly Murphy's: Ras-
putin, on alternate days, becomes Darth
Vader; and another waiter is build:
a C3PO body
Molly Murphy's is open for di
only, from 5 р.м. to ЇЇ pat, Su
through Thursday, and from 5
midnight on Friday and Saturday.
adjoining disco is o
nightly. Most major credit cards а
cepted, but
5 PM. to
The
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44
s anybody who has the slightest in-
A terest in jazz knows, there arc no
flies on reed man Phil Woods. A superb
studio- and sideman. Woods is currently
the leader of a group that continues to
make its presence felt on the music scene
The Phil Woods Quintet /Song for Sisyphus
(Century) is a directto-dise recording
that burnishes an already brilliant
sound. The alto and soprano work of
Woods provides а steady stream of sur-
prise: ne should never take his line
of attack for granted. The title tune,
composed by Woods, is a moody thing,
reflecting. perhaps, the uphill struggle
to make it in the jazz biz on his own
terms. Along with pianist Mike Melillo,
guitarist Harry Leahey, bassist Steve
Gilmore and drummer Bill Goodwin,
Woods has gone a long way toward
proving that it can. be done, What you
need is talent to spare. The rest of the ses-
sion encompasses everything Irom Irving
Berlin to Django Reinhardt to Dizzy
Gillespie and Charlie Parker. Woods &
Co. do them all proud.
.
Andy Gibb's first album, Flowing
Rivers, showed, as they say, promis
with his monstrously popular second al
bum, Shadow Doneing (RSO), he delivers
promise. Once you get past the
st Bee Gee" hype, it gets down
10 how often you can listen to the album
without getting tired of it and how many
та pel you to move the needle on
to the next tune. Answers to the above,
1 order, are: hours and hours, and may
be one. What's most remarkable is that
the most listenable side is side two, for
which Andy wrote all the material. RSO
must not have as much faith in little (20-
year-old) Andy as it has in the gargan-
tuan talent of his older brother Barry.
because it has promoted Shadow Danc-
the lead single, Why, an Everlasting
Love (the only boring song on the al.
bum) and (Our Love) Don’t Throw It
All Away as hit singles, all written or со.
written by Barry. But the songs that make
us want to get up and spank are One
More Look at the Night, 1 Go for You
and Good Feeling, all by Andy, on side
There must be something in the
nes that makes all their music
sound like a sound track of a disco
movie: One could have used Shadow
Dancing behind Saturday Night Fever
and matched the Bee Gees sound track
(except for the incredibly brilliant Night
Fever) Vor instant likability. In fact,
it t Robert Stigwood
¢ for Andy Gibbs
E we were Andy, we'd be insulted
.
After a number of fine early albums
and productive years in Canada, Jesse
Winchester finally toured the U.S. to
two.
Gibb
Phil Woods's Sisyphus.
The Phil Woods Quintet
serves up a musical feast;
baby Bee Gee Andy Gibb
delivers an impressive
Shadow Dancing.
promote last year’s Nothing but a Breeze.
His excellent new album, A Touch on the
Rainy Side (Bcarsvillc), is in great part a
reaction to the rigors of concert touring.
Producer Norbert Putnam did home
work: Winchester's most appealing traits
from previous work (unregretful home-
sickness, strong imagery, cautious opti-
mim) are emphasized and the tunes
match well the talents of the Nashville
sesion men. The early Seventies mood
that created Mississippi, You're on My
Mind is retapped for Wintry Feeling—
this time about Montreal. A Showman's
Life claims dismay with the life on the
one-nighter trail. “The wear and tear/
On an old honky-tonker's he:
wb Jesse's confident
t” Lyrics
short Roger С.
x solo on Little Glass of Wine
bumps), this album is a
perfect boost to а carcer already on
g upswing,
.
On the cover of The Men—Machine (|
tol), Kraftwerk's latest record, аге four
пеп in a row, their expressionless faces
in three-quarter profile. The four we
identical black. nd bright crimson
ly heightened in
the bright lipstick
у ide. the sleeve is dec
orated with two more pictures of the
$ goos
api-
ne men in the same pose and the same
clothes and the same lack of expression.
All alike. No, t! This guy's wearing.
a belt and this one isn't. How about
that? Their music matches the pictures:
all electronic, artificial. Phy re те
peated and repeated until the tiniest
variation is like an explosion. The
lyric” of Metropolis consists of the title
repeated over and over and over. This is
music to initial routing slips by
es
Mediocrity in pop music has achieved
heights that just wouldn't have been
possible even ten years ago. This e
sentially gloomy reflection has been in-
ired by two albums—Joln Wesley
Ryles's Shine on Me (ABC) and The Form
(Capitol), by Mel MeDaniel. There is no
particular reason to single out these two
from the general run of new releases,
but then, it is part of the nature of
mediocrity not to stand out from the
usual. Both ol these young men arc
country singers with pleasant voices and
a reasonable degree of competence.
Given a really catchy song, cither one
could have a h Neither of these rec-
ords has any material thut good, but
both show what a good producer and a
good group of backup musicians can do
singer. Today's recording technol-
ogy gives every voice depth and reso-
nance. Maybe the time is ripe for a new
busi nity recording. A good en-
gineer with a 96-track computerized
studio could make any shower-stall sing-
er with a big ego and a few bucks sound
like . well, who's your fants
favorite? Mick Jagger? Merle Haggard?
Luciano Pavarotti? Step right up.
сэз: v
SHORT CUTS
The Rolling Stones / Some Girls (Rolling
Stones Records): The most extreme
Stones fanatic we know
his life in poverty
s a guy who has
working various
day jobs, so that at night he
could front some miserable bar band
and imitate Mick Jagger. He can sing
other styles, but he lias missed fame and
fortune because lie refuses to do it any
other way—he wants to be Mick. He
bought Some Girls the instant it came
out; took it home and put it on the
turntable; played through both sides
without interruption, to the very last
note: lifted the album carefully from the
turntable—and Frisbeed it thou-
sand shards of vinyl against ihe wall
across from him. We didn't do quite
that—finding the old fire in at least one
cut, Respectable—but, truth be told,
afterward we did spell relict D-E-C-E-M
D-E-R-5 C-H-LL-D-R-E
Iggy Pop / TV Eye (RCA): A live album
from the original punk that captures
all of his raw power to irritate.
ON THE TRACK
OR ON THE ROAD,
NOTHING EVEN
COMES CLOSE.
Since 1948, Porsche has won our production cars. Things like made Porsche one of the finest
over 350 major races. But winning vented disc brakes, rack-and-pinion production sports cars in the world.
is not the sole reason we compete. steering, electronic ignition, oil | Whether you drive the Porsche
At Porsche, we think of the race coolers, low profile wide oval 924, the Porsche 928, or the
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under the torturous conditions of we run helps us develop new racing victories.
Nurburgring or in the grueling 24 ideas and further refine old ones. No wonder that on the track or
shours:of LeMans, we know they ll Its this kind of dedication to on the road, nothing even comes
в Toad = отаке end.excellence close.
PORSCHE 4
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The Shy Man's Way
To Meet Girls
Don Ricci had always been shy with girls.
That's probably why he spent so many lonely
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Sound crazy?
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Don mects between eight and fifteen girls
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On the average — he ends up sleeping
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In a six month period. nine different girls
asked him to marry them. (He turned them
all down. Hc claims he'd be an idiot to get
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He's always getting presents from girls.
Shirts. sweaters, home-made food. (He re-
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He never has to worry about seducing
irls. И one doesn’t want to sleep with him.
he simply moves on to another. There's al-
ways plenty to choose from
And we'll show you exactly how he does
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Ir doesn't require “good looks." Don
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It doesnt require a “good personality. 7
Being bashful or feeling uneasy with girls
means absolutely nothing when you use our
material.
It doesn't require "money." Our material
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2?
“Most Men Are Too Busy Trying To Pick Up Girls To Meet Any”
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to go ahead and send for our material.
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Remember — we guarantee it
Remember also — that you may not lose
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reviews: What is there to look for-
ward to on the fall book list? Plenty!
Nonfiction books run the gamut from
the very serious Criminal Violence, Criminal
Justice (Random House), subtitled “Crim-
inals, Police, Courts and Prisons in
America,” by Charles E. Silberman;
through the witty Auto Ads (David Obst
Random House), pictured here, by Jane
& Michael Stern, a fascinating survey of
75 years of car advertising; to the sub-
lime Brother Billy (Harper & Row), by
Ruth Carter Stapleton, the very last
word—maybe—on the First Brother.
And, of course, there is lots in between:
By Myself (Knopf), by Lauren Bacall, a
"star" bio actually written by the star;
James Jones: A Personal Memoir (Double.
day), by his friend Willie Morris; Carl
agan and numerous associates put to-
gether Murmurs of Earth: The Voyager Inter-
stellar Record (Random House), the story
of the attempt to communicate with pos-
sible extraterrestrials by placing a
record aboard the Voyager space-
craft; A Dangerous Place (Little, Brown),
by Daniel Р. Moynihan, about the seven
months thc Senator served as U, S. Ambas-
sador to the UN; and a completely new
People's Almanac #2 (Morrow), by David
Wallechinsky and Irving Wallace, every-
one’s favorite pop encyclopedists. Fiction
fares well, too: The Coup (Knopf), a new
John Updike novel, concerns the rise and
fall of an imaginary African kingdom;
Larry McMurtry's latest, Somebody's Darling
(Simon & Schuster), is about the Western
frontier —Hollywood; more horror is
due from Stephen King, the author of
Salem's Lot and The Shining, in The
Stand (Doubleday); Herr Nightingale and the
Satin Woman (Knopf), by William Kotz
winkle, is a sassy love story illustrated by
Joe ЅегуеПо with Thirties pulp-romance
drawings; and a new one from Patrick
Anderson (who gave us The President's
Mistress), called White House (Simon &
Schuster), convinces us that the Washing-
ton novel is alive and well. From here,
all of the above look like good reading.
.
Let the reader bew: This is a
biased review. Many of the studies in
Irwin Shaw Short Stories: Five Decades (Dc!
corte) first appeared in the pages of
PLAYBOY. We liked them enough to buy
them and run them; upon rereading
them in the context of Shaw's lifework,
we appreciate them even more. Shaw is
a master storyteller and this magazine
cherishes the moments he has chosen to
sit at our fire, He leads off his collection
with The Eighty-Yard Run—a story that
PLAYBOY published in May 1955. It con-
cerns an aging football player who re-
turns one night to a stadium to relive
the glory of the title run, an event 15
years in the past. The rite of passage is
Coming up: Auto Ads.
Ron Nessen doesn't tell all;
the best of Irwin Shaw
and a Robert Redford debut.
Fifty years of Shaw.
witnessed by a young couple making out
on the side lines. A nice touch, perhaps
Shaw's way of telling the audience that
discovered him through the television
production of Rich Man, Poor Man that
he has been around for a long time, that
he has played the field of words and
scored, that he can still ma
without breathing hard.
D
We have to say we had mixed feelings
about the impending publication of Ron
Nessen’s It Sure Looks Different from the Inside
(Playboy Press). On the one hand, we
had published a portion of the book
(though in somewhat different form);
on the other hand, it might be just
another show-and-tell Government in-
sider gossiping between hard covers. In
t, it is a surprisingly intimate set piece
on America’s only modern accidental
President, as seen by a loyal but honest
staffer, his own press secreta
In a way, the book is most revealing
by default. For Nessen is loyal enough
to defend Gerald Ford even when the de-
fense doesn't sit very well. For example,
in a chapter called "Saturday Night
Live," Nessen sets out to demonstrate
that Ford's internationally famous dum-
siness was merely something the press
manufactured out of a couple of random
incidents. Ford falls on his ass in Salz-
burg and Nesen says it was "poor
planning by Spanish officials." Sort of
ike blaming Vietnam on "poor plan-
ning by French officials.” It's because of
this touching effort to set history straight
that the book is honestly funny, as Ford
goes from trying to kill himself to having
other people attempt it for him to his
latest trick of trying to kill people with
golf ball. Chevy Chase couldn't have
done it better.
.
It sounded like an intriguing prem-
ise—the CIA, the Mob, a United States
Senator, an eroticarts dealer and a porn
king all competing to get their hands
on a rumored pomographic film of
Hitler’s last days in the bunker—the
ultimate X-rater, Adolf cavorting naked
while the Russians are shelling Berlin.
But despite the nifty premise, Don De-
Lillo's new novel, Running Dog (Knopf),
is a bore, full of loose ends, convoluted
dialog, unconvincing characterizations
and dull, unsuspenseful plotting. Worse
yet—and all too predictably—the film
turns out to be a washout, just another
one of Eva Braun's corny home movies.
.
The Outlaw Trail (Grosset & Dunlap),
by Robert Redford—yes, it's the RR—is
ап account of a trip he and several oth-
} ers took along much of the legendary
wail that stretches from Montana to
the Mexican border and was the main
rugged highway for every bandit, grifter
and scoundrel worthy of a wANTED post-
er, Much of it—at the moment, anyway—
remains wilderness, some of the toughest
and emptiest (and most beautiful) in the
country; sections of the tail in Utah
now snake through national parks.
What could have been an exercise in
pure ego (who wouldn't publish a book
with RRS by-line2) and/or nostalgia is
better than that, Jonathan Blair's fine
photographs throughout don't hurt a bit,
good hard point emerges among
outlaw anecdotes: The dread
BLM (Bureau of Land Management) is
rightly regarded as a chief villam їп
these parts, insensitive to the value of
preserving anything from our frontier
past, being fonder instead of setting fire
to century-old cabins and drowning
whole ghost towns so that turkeys in
power boats can go zooming and foam-
ing over them.
Good for Redford. He won't scare
many writers out of business, but his
name will get the word out. Ed Abbey, a
member of the group that went along on
the trip, has for some time been writing
about this second rape of the West with
beauty, humor and blue burning rage.
So after this one, try his Desert Solitaire
and The Monkey-Wrench Gang.
45
The spirit of the Czar lives on.
<
It was the Golden Age of Russia.
Yet in this time when legends
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ух COMING ATTRACTIONS +
por Gossip: Orion Pictures (the inde-
pendent movie company formed by
ex-UA execs) is prepping Heart Beal,
set to star Nick Nolte, Sissy Spacek and John
s a love story involving Beat
Generation characters Jack Kerouec, Neal
Cassady and Carolyn Cassady. Spacek has
also been tagged to play Loretta Lynn in
the singer's biopic Coal Miner's Daugh-
ter. . . . Frank Zappa will be one of the
first hosts of Saturday Night Live this
season. Rumor has it that there'll be
some changes in the Weekend Update
format. . . . F. Lee Bailey has written a first
novel, Secrets, set for December publi-
cation. It's about a veteran lawyer ar-
rested for murder. . . . English actress
Nicola Роден (she played Anna Karenina
in the PBS series) is being considered for
the title role in The Vivien Leigh Story.
If she lands that role, she's inch to
get the Scarlett O'Hara part in MGM's
sequel to Gone with the Wind. . .. The
coe series, Dirty Laundry, w
bookstore racks this month. The serics
involves a former newspaper columnist
turned free-lance writer who unwittingly
gets himself involved in some Raymond
Chandlerlike dilemmas and turns into a
private dick. . . . The latest rage
Hollywood seems to be Dracula pi
Frank Langella, who played Drac oi
Broadway, will star in Universal's film
of the play. George Hamilton will star in
Love at First Bite, a comedic treatment
with Hamilton in the lead sans fangs.
Ken Russell is also prepping a Dracula
flick and Paramount is developing one
based on Anne Rice's best seller, Interview
with the Vampire. . . . Director Jeannot
Sxware says he's looking for "a nice little
love story" to direct after the rigors of
Sounds familiar—steven Spielberg
said the same thing after completing the
original Jaws and wound up with Close
Encounters,
.
STORMY WEATHER: Since there wasn't а
single hotel in all of Bora Bora that
could reserve enough rooms to ac
commodate the entire crew of The
Hurricane for five months of filming,
producer Dino De Lourentiis built his own
3,500,000 hotel, which will become a
new resort for the island once the on-
location shooting is completed. Becausc
of scarce facilities in the remote loca-
tion, De Laurentiis also had to buy his
own freighter, 20 jeeps, two trucks and
an amphibious «тай, all part of a
$15,000,000 budget for the remake of the
John Ford ‘sic, now starring Jason Ro-
berds, Mia Farrow, Max Von Sydow, Trevor
Howard and Timothy Bottoms.
.
HEADLINER: Holt, Rinehart & Winston
is keeping Michael Drosnin's book Citizen
Hughes under tight wraps until publica-
tion in January. The book, subtitled
“In His Own Words—How Howard
Hughes Tried to Buy America,” reported-
ly contains never-before-published pri-
vate papers, what amounts to a diary
kept by Hughes during the height of his
wealth and power. “This book,” say the
publishers, “is, in essence, his autobiog-
raphy. More than that, it's а startling
record of the secret history of our times,”
with a cast that includes Richard Nixon,
LBJ, Hubert Humphrey and the Kennedys.
Hughes experts speculate that Drosnin
may have gotten hold of the mysterious
Romaine Street Documents that were
stolen from the Hughes organization in
1974. Among those papers was a docu-
ment that reportedly revealed the real
purpose of the Glomar expedition,
.
A star ıs sorn: Shooting will begin
soon on NBC's Freedom Road, starring
none other than The Champ himself,
Muhammad Ali, in the role of Gideon
Jackson, the ex-slave who returns to the
South alter the Civil War, locks horns
with the Klan and eventually becomes a
U.S. Senator. “I've been offered hun-
dreds of parts,” says Ali, “but this one is
istory. This is me. This is what I am in
real life. If I had lived in those days,
І would have been Gideon Jackson.
People often ask, ‘Can he act?’ I've been
acting ever since I've been boxing. Every-
thing I do is an act, and people believed
it. They said they wanted somebody to
play a bad nigger . . . well, I am a
baanad nigger."
.
DAYS OF WINE AND MOSES: “Richard Drey-
fuss and I have known each other since
the sixth grade and we've been talking
about doing a movie project together
for the past 20 years,” says Cer Borack,
whose childhood fantasy has become a
reality with The Big Fix, the film he jus
coproduced with Dreyfuss. Due out in
id-October, Fix is the story of Moses
Wine, an ex-Berkeley activist turned
private eye. Will The Big Fix signal the
beginning of a whole new image for
Dreyfuss—that of a romantic leading
n? "Richard really looks great in
this picture,” says Borack, "He's wry,
charming, witty—and attractive. In fact,
Dreyfuss Clayburgh
he resembles the young Paul New-
man in many ways—he dropped 30
pounds for this role.” Shortly before
shooting was to commence, Dreyfuss
an accident. "Rather
than delay shooting,” says Borack, “we
wrote the broken wrist into the script
and it became one of the more amusing
aspects of the film." Fix co-stars Susan
Anspach as Wine's old Berkeley girlfriend.
.
INCEST, ITALIAN style: The plot of
Bernardo Bertolucci's new film, La Luna,
is so top secret Bernardo has instructed
his leading lady, Jill Clayburgh, not to
breathe a word of it to anyone, and
his own PR people are using the stock
line that “it's such a delicate, fragile
story that you cannot describe it ade-
quately.” Smelling controversy, we got a
source close to Bertolucci to spill the
beans. “It's about incest," says our
source. “Theres an angle in the film
concerning incest between the mother
and the son." (Clayburgh pi 1 opcra
ger who goes to Italy with her teen-
ged son after her husband's death.)
Bertolucci supposedly offered the Cla
burgh role to Liv Ullmann first, but "prior
commitments” prevented Liv from
accepting. — —Jonx nouem, EQ
-
47
Our engine sits sideways
When people sit in a Honda Civic’ 1200'or Civic СУСС” for the
first time, they are often surprised at the amount of room inside.
They discover that despite their brief overall length our Civics
have plenty of room for four adults. Plus luggage space behind
the rear seat.
How do we do it? To help solve the mystery, we took the roof
and hood off a Honda Civic CVCC Hatchback.
As you can now see, one reason for the Civic’s roominess is the
way the engine sits. Because it sits sideways, instead p
, y
HONDA CIVIC CVCC 4-SPEED HATCHBACK.
soyou dont have to.
lengthwise, the engine doesn’t interfere with front-seat legroom.
Instead, it is neatly tucked away up front, out of everybody’s way.
Of course, the engine in our Civic CVCC 4-speed Hatchback is
sitting pretty when it comes to fuel economy. This model got
42 mpg for highway driving, 36 mpg city, according to EPA
estimates. The actual mileage you get will vary depending on
the type of driving you do, your driving habits, your car’s
condition and optional equipment. Mileage estimates are lower
for California and high altitude cars.
Getting back to roominess. We gave the Civic additional space by
giving it front-wheel drive. This
means there is no drive-shaft to the
rear wheels, so the hump running
through the passenger compart-
ment is reduced.
So now when you sit in a Honda
Civic, please don't be surprised that
you're not cramped for space. And
that you're not sitting sideways.
After all, it was a simple matter to
make our engine sit that way
instead.
к ом юл]
We make it simple.
*Civic 1200 nor available in California and high altitude areas.
© 1978 American Honda Motor Co., Inc. Civic, Civic 1200, and CVCC are Honda trademarks.
Wrangler thinks
Americans
should get what
they pay for.
Thats your
right and our
responsibility.
Wrangler has
as many looks
as men have
lifestyles.
= EE Р
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR
АМ, wite and 1 met another couple and
after only three visits, we were playing
strip checkers. When we were all naked,
we changed partners and started making
out like newlyweds right in front of each
other. I was really getting it on with the
other girl and 1 looked over at my wife
and her partner and it looked like they
hadn't lost any time, either. I asked the
other girl if she would like to go to the
bedroom and she answered yes. To my
surprise, her husband entered the bed-
room after we had been balling about
five minutes and blew his stack. My wife
and I got dressed and left, knowing that
we would never see them again. Two
days later, they came over to our house
and we sat around drinking all after-
noon. All four of us just sat there like
bumps on a log, making conversation.
The subject of what happened that night
hasn't come up again. It was the first
time my wife and I ever did anything
like that so we don't know why the other
couple still secs us. Do they want to start
the relationship again? How can we
bring this out into the open? We're not
sure what they want.—B. R., Lake Jack-
son, Texas.
It sounds like they aren't sure what
they want, either, Maybe it was their first
time and they want to kiss and make
ош. Invite them over to talk about it.
Maybe it would work out if you took ita
bit slower. Try strip chess. Or blindman's
buf]. What he can't see won't bother him.
О. the advice of a friend, 1 recently
purchased a super amplifier that puts
out about 200 watts. І think 1 could
have saved some money, because a quar-
ter turn of my volume knob gives me
enough juice to rattle the windows. Is
all that power necessary2—R. T., Detroit,
Michigan.
Probably not, unless you're a glazier.
What you've got, though, is a pretty
good hedge against distortion, the nem-
esis of the low-powered amp. The те-
lationship of volume to power output,
you see, is based on a factor of ten.
In other words, doubling the volume
will not draw twice as much power
from your amp, it will draw ten times
the power. If your amp is putting out
five watts to reproduce a violin solo and
the violinist hits a note twice as loud as
the ones before, your amp will have to
put out 50 watts to reproduce it. Other-
е, you will get distortion. that can
rattle more than your windows.
На 1 have wied everything and
you're my last hope. 1 am very open to
any kind of sex and have always enjoyed
experimentation. I recently married (my
husband and [ had lived together for
several months). Now, here's the shock.
After one week of marriage, he informed
me that he can't stand to go down on
mc, or any other woman, for that matter.
He claims that the "fishy" smell of the
vagina is distasteful. I've tried douching,
but then he says that the smell is soapy.
What do you suggest? My husband
doesn't bother to get into any kind of
foreplay. He just lies back and expects
me to kiss and lick him from head to
toe, front to back. Then he's ready to go
and I'm as dry as a bone. Even my imag-
ination doesn't help anymore. He seems
to think it's my problem, that I'm just
oversexed.—Mrs. D. H., Chicago, Illinois.
First: Visit your gynecologist. The most
common cause of vaginal odor is a bac-
terial infection. The characteristic fishy
smell is symptomatic of а Hemophilus
vaginalis infection. A vaginal smear will
indicate the presence of the bacteria.
Treatment consists of both you and your
partner taking antibiotics. (Both partners
need treatment to prevent a ping-pong
reinfection pattern.) In addition, you
may use a sulfa cream for a few days.
However, it sounds to us as though this
problem is in your husband’s head, not
yours. If the doctor gives you a clean bill,
you're going to have to tackle the prob-
lem of communication with a reluctant
spouse. There is nothing distasteful
about a natural woman in good health.
V use my favorite pair of athletic shoes
for tennis and jogging in the summer
and for racquetball in the winter. My
tennis partner says I'l ruin my [eet
using the same shoes for each activity,
but I can't afford to buy three different
pairs. Does it really make a difference
what shoes I wear as long as my feet don't
complain?—M. A., Chicago, Illinois.
The current bumper crop of athletic
shoes is the result of necessity as well as
greed. Different sports put different
kinds of strains on your feet. Running
shoes, for example, help absorb the shock
of jogging as well as provide support
for your feet. (That shock has been esti-
mated at about 600 tons per foot over a
ten-mile course.) They are also con-
structed for forward movement, whereas
tennis shoes must allow laieral maneuver-
ability, too. Playing or running surfaces
must also be taken into account. The
hardwood floor of a racquetball court
dictates a suction-cup type of sole, while
clay tennis courts call for a line pattern
for traction. On grass and dirt, a waffle-
tread sole works best for jogging. The
fact that your feet don’t complain is no
reason for handicapping yourself with
improper footgear. And the amount of
money you spend for the proper shoes
will certainly be offset by better perform-
ance. Your feet won't fail you now or
later.
Û have known a certain woman very well
for 25 years. She is in what you would
call the upper middle class and is finan-
cially well off. She is attractive and has
an absolutely beautiful body. Also, I
guess you could say she is a nympho-
maniac and definitely an exhibitionist,
The following is just a fraction of some
of the capers that I have seen myself. She
will perform any sex act known with any
one who will get together with her. She
will have intercourse while others watch
her. At a cabin party in the mountains,
she got up on top of a table and did a
striptease in front of nine men, taking
off everything except a black garter belt,
nylon stockings and her high-heel pumps.
Then she spent the weekend having re-
peated sex with every one of us. Between
Friday night and Sunday afternoon, she
screwed the nine of us 37 times, and then
on Sunday she teased and made fun of us
because we couldn't go anymore. I called
her once when a friend passing
through town and she went over to the
motel where he was staying and spent
the night with him. She has sucked men
off in front of others and she always
swallows the semen. One night at a bar, a
total stranger sitting next to her started
making passes and she turned to him and
asked him pointblank if he wanted to
have sex. They got up and walked
51
PLAYBOY
52
whe
“1 have clinched and closed with the naked
North, I have learned to defy and defend;
Shoulder to shoulder we have fought it
otf yet the wildmust win in the end:
*Robert Service =
” The black sheep of
=
Ivan
TR
| Soft-spoken and smooth, its hundred-proot potency
XI. simmers just below the surface. Straight, on the rocks, or
mixed, YUKON JACK is a breed apart; unlike any
Canadian liquor you've ever tasted.
mported Liqueur made with Blended Canadian Whisky.
‘Yukon Jack BO and 100 Proof. imported апе Bottled by Heublein Inc. Hartford. Conn. Sole Agents U S A *€ 1007 Dodd, Mead 4 Co Inc.
outside and got in the back scat of his
car. It was parked under the lig
we could see through the window as she
slid down her panties and lay down. We
could see her high heels locked up
around this fellow's back. After they fin-
ished, they came back in and he was
carrying her black panties and we
cheered. Over the years, I estimate that
well over 1000 men have had sex with
her. My question is, How long will this
tremendous sex drive continue? She is
now almost 50 years old, though her
body would pass for that of a woman of
30. She keeps it in perfect condition. 1
have told another very close friend who
is also concerned that as she gets older,
her sex drive will wane. Please tell me
how much longer her exhibitionism and
uncontrollable sex drive will continue.—
R. H., Detroit, Michigan.
Shades of Granny. Our guess is that
the lady and her sex drive will outlive
the bunch of you. To reverse an old
saying, sex is 99 percent inspiration and
one percent perspiration: There are some
physiological changes with age, but the
desire and ability to make love are essen-
tially the products of a dirty mind. And
dirty minds only get better with age.
V enjoy cating food spiced with mari-
juana. It gives me a much deeper and
longer high than smoking joints. But the
grass is not particularly appetizing, espe-
cially when added to my morning eggs. Is
it possible to boil the grass and then add
the water to the food? I don't like green
4 —M. B., Tulsa, Oklahoma
You'd probably be better off feeding
the grass to your chickens and trying to
get stoned by eating them. THC, the ac-
live ingredient in marijuana, is not water
soluble. The best you can hope for is a
limp suspension. it is soluble, however,
in grain alcohol, butter, vegetable oil
and animal fats. Next time, try grass in
your chicken soup.
Heads or tails? After several months
of making love to my girlfriend, I've
reached an impasse, I prefer to make
love in the missionary position. She pre-
fers to make love in the female-superior
position. She claims that the missionary
is a male-chauvinist invention.. 1. claim.
the femalesuperior position is а wom
en's lib rhetorical device. We are curious.
What is the most popular position? My
girlfriend. says that the missionary posi-
tion is practiced only in America. I can't
believe that. Do other cultures do it dil-
ferenuly?—E. G., Boston, Massachusetts.
Yes. For years, the missionary position
was America's chief export. It may be
onsible for the trade deficit. In
Kinsey's day, the missionary position was
the only position used by 70 percent of
the couples surveyed. Nowadays, the fe-
male superior is pulling its own weight,
at least in America. But neither position
OUR NEW CASSETTE DECK WOULD BE DAZZLING
_ EVEN WITHOUT THE CO
The first cassette deck
controlled by computer—a micro-
processor with no fewer than five
memories—would be enough to
dazzle anybody.
You merely program the com-
puter: tell it how and when you
want to listen to which song.
It controls Sharp's exclusive
Auto Program Locate Device. This
unique feature skips ahead or back
to any song you select (up to 19
songs) and plays it automatically.
SHARP € COMPUTER CONTROLLED
The Direct Memory
Function automatically
replays any selection.
Zero Rewind" allows you
to set any point on the tape
as the “beginning.”
The computer also controls
Electronic Tape Counting and
Second Counting, so you always
know how much tape or time you
have left.
A Liquid Crystal Display shows
you current mode and function.
The built-in digital quartz clock
acts as a timing device; it displays
timed-programming operations, so
you can actually program your
RT-3388 to record automatically
from a radio or TV at any pre-select-
ed time and then switch itself off.
But what really makes the
RT-3388 so special is that the
musical performance of the deck is
MPUTER.
every bit as dazzling as the elec-
tronic performance of the computer.
Just a few specs tell the story:
S/N ratio; 64dB with Dolby.* Wow
and flutter, a minimal 0.06%. . $
Frequency response, 30-16,000 Hz
(x: Зав) for FeCr.
Without the computer, the
RT-3388 would merely be one of
the best engineered cassette decks
you could find.
But how nice that you can
have the deck with your own pri-
vate computer to run it. (The
RT-3388 is just one of a complete
line of Sharp® cassette decks with
the unique ability to find and play
your music for you.)
When your Sharp dealer
shows you the RT-3388, we sug-
gest that you ask to hear some
music first.
Then go ahead and let the
computer dazzle you.
Sharp Electronics Corp.
0 КОШЫМ 07652 SHARP
aramus,N.J.
SHARP'S 87.2398. ШЕШШ
THE FIRST COMPUTER THAT PLAYS NOSIC.
PLAYBOY
is world-wide, According to psychologist
Frank Beach, face-to-face lovemaking is
found in every culture, but most fre-
quently it takes this form: “The woman
lies on her back while the man squats
or kneels between her legs, which are
placed around his thighs. In the course
of copulation, he may draw the woman
close to him and she may lock her legs
behind his back.” In short, it's like the
missionary position, only the man is
praying to a different god.
intaining
V wax my car frequently, m
high gloss. But my brother—a car те
chanic—says 1 should also use a car pol-
ish. What's the difference and should I
use both?—N. P., St. Louis, Missouri.
We assume your brother didn't offer
to help with cither, so we understand the
problem. The fact is, the two products
ае for different purposes. Your car's
paint contains oils that evaporate. A car
polish will replace those oils. On thc
other hand, if you have no problem with
excessive evaporation (ij your car looks
dusty, youve got a problem), all you
really need is a car wax to form an air-
tight seal to prevent evaporation. With
your maintenance schedule, it sounds
like all you need is wax for your car and
perhaps a six-pack for your own body.
| BBecause I travel often in fore
ES К Sis tries, I'm very much aware of the chang-
g currency situation with regard to the
Americam dollar. 1 never really know
° how much of a foreign currency I'm go-
ing to get in an exchange a
|
many foreigners—hoteliers, ta
е drivers, restaurateurs, et al—prefer their
it r own currency. 15 there a way out of this
mess?—R. K., New York, New York.
Gold and diamonds ате acceptable cur-
rency almost anywhere. Unfortunately,
р е. , d gold tends to be a little heavy in the
auerage unreinforced pocket and diu-
monds tend to light up the eyes of cal
burglars, Luckily, Deak-Pereva, 41 East
42nd Street, New York, with 58 offices
world-wide, has set up а Travelers Gur-
rency Exchange. For your personal check,
money order (or Visa or Master Charge
credit number) in the amount of $50 or
more, it will send you the currency of
your choice for about a $2.50 fce. I1 will
such as: Twin Cassettes, also send along a booklet describing the
Silent Monitor, Rapid currency, tipping customs, metric con-
Rewind, FestFerwordi versions and clothing sizes. Using its
быз сы service will probably not save you much
At home, Record a Call 80 Remote
is answering your phone auto-
matically, and storing
messages.
Away from home, you dial
your own phone number,
then ‘beep’ into the phone
with your pocket-sized
decoder and all your stored
messages will be played
back to you word for word. Record а Call's at fine in the actual transaction, but it will save
Record a Call 80 is a com- stores everywhere. you time and hassles on the road looking
plete telephone answering АН for а bank or a currency exchange. Plus,
алын Ee ыш (records as you are assured of getling the highest
speaks)
АС | possible market value of your greenbacks
al the time of your purchase.
Recorda Call Velit ЙЕ!
ата Е Gnewers for busy Busy Гер = child in the near future. We've been
T-A.D. Avanti, Inc., 16250 Gundry Avenue, Paramount, California 90721 doing some read
g and are somewhat
Someone to fi
inonthe
People tell us blank tape has their heads reeling.
We know why. Blank tape is a jumble, presenting as
many confusing options as a Chinese menu. Written in
Chinese.
Sony ıs prepared to make order out of the chaos. And no
one is more equipped. We've been making tape for 30 years.
It's how Sony got started. So we know it backwards and
forwards. Forward and rewind
Right now, Sony makes 4 different blank tapes. Each
has a distinct purpose. We're going toslam through the jargon,
telling you clearly and specifically, which tape fills which need.
Others try to make their customers into engineers. We'd
rather make our engineers talk like our customers.
Basic Blank.
The workhorse tape, technically called Low Noise—
don't trouble yourself why. It's for those times when you just
want to get it down.
In school, а boring lecture on “The history of the
thank-you note through the ages.”
In the office, yet another budget meeting. In the car,
for your cassette player.
At home, for your Uncle lggie practicing the oboe.
Better Blank.
While Basic Blank is primarily for speech recording,
Better Blank is primarily for music. (Its technical name is Hi
Fidelity, one of the few technical names to explain anything.)
Better Blank is sensitive to a wide dynamic range—
which means the lows and the highs. It's particularly valid in
the bass register—and it won't hurt too much at the cash
register.
Better Blank is not Ultimate Blank, but youcan still use
itin a living room, concert hall, or off a record.
Beautiful Music Blank.
If you want to sound knowledgeable, call it Chromium
Dioxide. A thin coating of that substance makes this tape
loyal and faithful in the high frequency range.
So piccolos will sound perfect. Lead singers, sublime.
Use this tape when quality particularly in the high
range—is the highest priority.
Best Blank.
When the object is the ultimate, end money is no
object. Officially called Ferri-Chrome, this tape offers
low distortion and a wide, flat frequency response.
It combines Chromium Dioxide, to pick up the highs,
with Fernc Oxide—so the lows reach new heights. There is
no better tape to reproduce music.
But do you need Ferri-Chrome? Some say that only the
Verri-Crazy can tell the difference. But it's nice to know that
the difference is there—if you have the ears to hear it.
SONY
€, 1678 Sony Industnes. A Dision of Sony Corp. of America.
9 West 57 Street, New York, RIY. 10019. Sony 1s trademark of Sony Corp.
PLAYBOY
It’s true. Quanta turntables by BSR are good looking. But many
people think our specs are even better than our bodies.
For instance, consider the 500. It's a single-play turntable with
an exclusive feature. “The Final Touch." What 15 it? Well, at the end of
a record, the power shuts off. Then, magically and silently, the arm rises
from the record and returns to Its rest position. Automatically.
The 500 is made with DC Servo-Controlled Motor, which is the
quietest motor made. It’s belt driven. And it's got electronic speed
control to assure you constant record speed. Wow and flutter are less
than .06% (WRMS). Rumble is better than-65 dB (Din B).
If you like those specs but prefer a multiple play turntable, then
think about Quanta's 550-9,
Of course, both the 500 and the 550-S have a few things in
common with our other Quanta turntables. Great value as well as great
beauty. So come take a look at the entire Quanta line at your
nearest Quanta dealer. BSR
We give youa lot to choose from because we want youto im
like us for more than our good looks. BSR CONSUMER PRODUCTS GROUP
Route 303, Blauvelt, N.Y. 10913
Beauty and the best.
worried. For example, we've read that
women who drink h: chance
of giving birth to
Apparently, the problem is so severe,
the Government is trying to force
alcoholic-beverage companies into plac-
ing a warning label on bottles. Can you
tell us more about this problem—L. W.,
Miami. Florid:
Unless your wife has been drinking a
pint of S0 proof a day and is already
pregnant, you probably have nothing to
worry about. In 1973, a team of doctors
headed by К. L. Jones identified the
Felal Alcohol Syndrome. Children who
were born to women who were heavy
drinkers (150 grams of ethanol per day)
displayed certain characteristics (facial
abnormalities, deformed limbs, heart
problems, stunted growth and delayed
development). The study was not con-
clusive: Thomas D. Turner, dean стеті-
tus of the Johns Hopkins University
school of medicine, pointed out that
other potentially damaging factors such
as malnutrilion, heavy smoking, drug
usage and the age of the mother had not
been taken into account, Also, the same
mptoms have been found in the chil-
den of women who were teetotalers
The scientific community seems to be
divided on the question of the effect
of light or moderate dosages of alcohol.
Studies have been done that indicate
there is no significant difference between
rare drinkers and moderate drinkers on
the oulcome of pregnancy. Dr. Ernest Р.
Noble and the National Institute on
Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism do “not
endorse an abstinence policy for preg-
nant omen because there is not
clear-cut scientific data to support such
conclusions, . . . In fact, major studies
throughout this country and other inter
national studies have indicated that
small quantities of alcohol ingested daily
are actually beneficial to the human sys
tem.” The movement by Government to
put warning labels on alcoholic bever
ages seems lo be an overreaction to slight
evidence, However, the more we learn
about pregnancy, the more we discover
that everything seems to have some effect
on the fetus, especially in its first weeks.
It pays to plan ahead. A family should 4
into baining for the big event. Consult
your doctor for a complete list of forbid
den fruits, recommended diets, etc., and
then follow his advice
All reasonable questions—from fash
ion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette—
will be personally answered if the writer
includes a stamped, self-addressed en
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi
gan Avenue, Chicago, Hlinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent. queries will
be presented on these pages cach month
Olympus innovated the concept of the
compact SLR. The introduction of the ОМ-1 startled
the world of photography by putting so many
big ideas into such asmall body.
And after Olympus did the thinking,
others did the following.
Today, the OM cameras still stand ahead
of the pack with exclusive features.
OM-1: The #1 Innovation.
Enter the OM-1. Suddenly, the SLR
camera is 33% smaller and lighter, yet incredibly
tugged to meet the demands of professional wear
and tear. Miraculously, the viewfinder is 70%
brighter and 30% larger for faster, easier compos-
ing and focusing.
And suddenly the OM4 became the
#1 selling compact SLR. Its metering system is
designed to give complete control to professionals
and photojournalists. No distractions, blinking
lights, or obscured images in the viewfinder.
A Quiet Innovation.
Olympus created a unique shock
absorber/air damper system to eliminate noise and
vibration, for sharper, unobtrusive photography.
Especially vital for long tele shots and macro/micro
photos.
The Motor Drive Innovation.
OM-1 is still unsurpassed in its continuous-
view motor drive capability: 5 pictures per
second. And a rapid winder that fires as fast as
З shots a second! With no mirror “lock-up,” regard-
less of lens used
Imitation.
The Biggest System Innovation.
OM-1 is part of the world's most complete
compact system. More than 280components.
all compact design, including 13 interchangeable
Screens so you can meet any photographic chal-
lenge. Ingeniously designed to change in seconds
through thelens mount. And more compact
lenses than any other system, each a marvel of
optical design and performance.
The Automatic Innovation: The OM-2.
It's the fully automatic OM, with major
differences from all other automatics! The only
SLR with "off-the-film" light measurement for
those photographers demanding the ultimate
innovation in automatic exposure control. Which
means each frame is individually exposure-
Controlled even in motor drive or rapid winder
sequences. And it makes possible the unique
Olympus 310 Flash whose flash duration is con-
trolled by the camera's metering system.
And of course, the OM-2 shares every
other innovation and system component with
the OM-1
We Wrote The Book On Compacts.
The OM System story is detailed in our
full color in-depth brochure, yours free for writing
OLYMPUS, Woodbury, New York 11797. Read itall.
Discuss the advantages of an Olympus with your
photographer friends.
Visit your camera store. Compare.
Wouldn't you rather buy the innovator instead of
the imitator?
57
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THE PLAYBOY SEX POLL
an informal survey of current sexual attitudes, behavior and insights
Have you ever seen mud wrestling?
Pwo nearly naked women grapple with
cach other in an ooze-filled ring. attempt-
ing to pin cach other down. One dame
Jocks her thighs around the other's head.
Breaking loose from this facesmothering
hold, her opponent quickly retaliates
Her powerful arms grab her opponents
hug
nude torso in a br
crushing bea
As the two battling babes slip and slide
through the sludge, the men in the audi
ence hoot and holler, caught up in a
horny full-fledged frenzy. Howard Cosell
swallows his microphone. For sure, mud
wrestling was designed with one purpose
in mind: 10 the utmost the
ity of the event.
ıt about the underlying eroticism
in all those other sports. the ones most
people play or watch? Isn't titillation
part of their basic popularity? We de-
cided to find out. We asked 100 men and
100 women if they found spectator sports
busing. In our usual double rever
asked them to guess which spectator
sport the opposite sex would choose as
an aphrodisiac. On your marks. Go.
.
we
WHICH SPECTA- ا
TOR SPORT IS THE MOST
NG FOR WOMEN?
1 most wo
whet
friends and I play football. They dig
seeing us tackle one another, When we
become aggressive, they get turned on.
iwead of going after the ball,
у, my girl, always tells me she fan-
izes that our whole team goes alte
my
one stud to the next, doing whatever we
want, sending her into a gangbang stu-
por. Maybe we could turn her
into а beer commercial.”
‘Twenty percent of the men sta
females found tennis jocks
Females get an erotic thri
the men in a tennis match, who
always so cocksure. Arrogant Jimmy Con-
ors has set more than one dame I know
n fire. They really like the challenge of
taking on a skillful dude like 1
getting him to show the sime kind of
finesse in bed with his cock as he does
on the court with his racket.”
Thirteen percent of the men suspected
that track and field was titillating to
women: "Now that the ladies love to
jog, they've gotten into cying guys who
THE SPORTING LIFE
run, The shorts, the pouring sweat, the
strained face—all trigger an erotic hot
flash. Once while running in the p
1 was picked up by a cute bike ride
id she admired my stamin
her into the tall grass and did
She
so I took
few laps.
Ten percent of the men said they
thought ladies got excited by boxing:
"When most women get a load of two
powerful fighters trying to kill cach other
п the ring, they feel a very primitive
rush. Thinking about screwing that in-
teme kind of body, wondering about the
massive prong that must accompan
those muscles can be an overpowering
sensation,”
Six percent of the men said skiing
provided the sensuous thrill: “Broads are
suckers for the tanned, self-assured hea
breakers on ski slopes, A skier's every
ved turns, the
ighting. It's the only
move is sensuous—the
weighting and unw
sport that's close to ses—a woman сап
imagine the skier swooping down her
trails. The rhythm is the same.
The rest of the sample thought women
were ти 1 (five per-
cen), swimm ли), body
building (two percent), ice hockey (two
percent), gymnastics (two percent)
sports-car racing (one percent).
.
©: WOMEN, WHICH SPE!
TOR SPORT IS TH
AROUSING?
Twentyeight percent of the women
said watching а football jock in action
turned them on: “This sounds weird, 1
know. But I dig watching football. That
macho strutting posture gives me goose
bumps. Although the athlete’s body is
covered from head to toe with gear and
clothes, his pants are so tight, they look
like they're painted on, showing all those
welldeveloped bulges, not to mention
his snug little ass. Ir makes my juices
How.”
Sixteen percent of the women stated
that a male tennis player w
A-
MOST
as irresistible:
“As a hard-to-get 16-year-old 1
once agreed to а strip-poker tennis match
h Andy. my high school boyfriend
early in the morning at
club courts, So even was
at for two sets, only a few
ments went back and forth. Andy got
fierce in the third—t ¢
aked, I wa
ally let him deflower me
e on the clay. Ever since then,
all 1 can think of whenever I look at
men playing tennis is fucking
Twelve percent of the women reported
that guys playing basketball were titillat
ng: “Maybe to Woody Allen they look
ke overactive thyroids jumping around
п undershorts, but. to me, those lanky
ketball players are an crotic delight
heir revealing outfits show off some
great bodies, well trained. and ready to
ха
Ten percent of the women said they
got excited by boxers: "Just thinking
about a champion like Muhammad. Ali
working out makes me hot between the
legs. Thanks to him, prize fighting has
become my favorite sport. 1 know it's a
wild extension of my S/M fantasies, but I
sure get a bang se acable brutes
pummel each othe
Fight percent of the women said a
swimming provided a sensuous
П: "Diving and swimming аге my
turn-on. E can't keep my eyes off my lover
when he's standing on that board, his
prick tucked tightly into a superbriel
suit. I adore his slim hips and the w
lightens his ass, springing
the perfect moment. I th
v he
по action at
5%
PLAYBOY
60
something about that kind of control that
cminds me of his performance in bed.
He knows just how to hold back until
I'm so hot and horny I beg him to come.
Eight percent. preferred
male track athlete wor
something about a runner, body sweat-
ing, clothes clinging, that's close to what
an Jooks like duri lovemaking. His
t is pounding, there's a slight flush
to his face, he's healthy and very much.
an animal, I know that if I touch him,
all that blood will rush to his erection,
Well start making love at the point
most lovemaking leaves off.
The rest of the sample was turned on
by hockey (six percent), baseball (four
percent), lacrosse (four percent), skiing
(two percent) and gym! s (two
percent).
h
Q: WOMEN, WHICH SPECTA-
TOR SPORT IS THE MOST
AROUSING FOR MEN?
Twenty
said watching a
turn most guys on: “AL
I know get hard-ons watching
graceful Lolitalike creatures
the bars, flying through the
in luscious splits. Those
nymphs have the power to fog men's
minds. My boyfriend would love to see a
private performance in the nude.
Twenty-one percent of the women
stated that men found gals who swam
irresistible: "I know a lot of fellas who
wish they were lifeguards. Sitting up
that tall chair, binoculars to their eyes,
they spy at us in our bikinis, frolicking
in the ocean—our asses, breasts, pubes
barely covered. One lifeguard I knew
told me he used to fantasize a special
kind of rescue. He'd jump in and drag
some honey from the deep and—talk
about artificial respiration—he'd put his
tongue in her mouth and his cock in her
cunt and make her come е.
Twenty pe t of the women re-
ported the t id-field. stars titillated
men: o dude сап
barely clad sweat
ght percent of the womei
female gymnast would
ost all the chaps
those
running
push her sinewy frame
for miles on the tack, imagine her en-
duran his bed, trying to prove her-
self in a marathon fuck fest.”
Nineteen percent of the women s
they thought guys got excited by a 1
playing t “Men love the paradox
of those innocentlooking darlings,
dressed virginal white mini
skirts, playing such a powerful sport. All
that skimming of balls sets their own
sexual aggression on edge. They'd like to
challenge all that feminine combative-
nes and prove ird be no match for
them between the sheets."
The rest of the sample thought men
were turned on by skiing (four percent),
ice skating (three percent), women's bas-
ketball (three percent) and volleyball
(two percent).
E
Q: MEN, WHICH SPECTA-
TOR SPORT IS THE MOST
AROUSING?
Twenty-five percent of the men said
seeing a female run turned them on:
"When a chick runs in her pubictease
jogging shorts and skimpy nipple-reveal-
ing tank top, I really go wild. The mus-
cles are always tight and firm as she
pushes hard to make her laps. Afterward,
she shimmers in a sexy sweat and I im
nc giving her a rubdown.
My fingers
would gradually get her tingling all ov
and my cock would merge with the
sweat.”
Twenty-fou
percent of the men stated
sistible: “Luscious
g those skintight reveal-
ing leotards, somersaulting about, spread-
ing their legs, while doing perfect
maneuvers, affect me like a porno loop.
about me and those beautiful
brais performing perverse tricks—like
when full backbend curve,
y g cock while I
licked her chaste little twat.”
Fighteen percent of the men reported
i itillating: “A girl pr
she's
whites gets me very horny
how she keeps her eyes
ball then whacks it with incredible
strength. I would love to have her focus
rd on another set of balls.
Ten percent of the men said they
got excited by girls who swam: “A sleck
suit on a shapely water nymph doing
flip turns makes my dick as stiff as a
diving board. As I gaze, it's easy to dre
up strokes she could use on me.
Fight percent of the men said ice
skating provided a se thrill: “Pegg
Fleming once made me come just observ-
ing her leap and twirl. since then,
ice skating has led me to think of sen-
suous young
to join them out on the frozen rink. We
remove our clothes and dance. My hot
penis would melt her cool reserve. ra
get her juices flowing, enter her and
climax in a torrid dizzy spin.”
The rest of the men reported a
of athletic turn-ons. Four
ferred watching a woman act rough
variety
percent. pre-
па
tough rousing combative roller
derby, while another four percent were
sent into al vibration by the fem-
inine skier who cut a gorgeous figure
through the snow,
‘Three percent cited softball, with fe-
males sliding into bases and diving lor
the ball, as the highest turn-on, Two per-
cent said а girl surfer, standing up on the
board in а teeny-tiny bikini, her undu
ig body riding out a wave, was the s
while another two perce
said that basketball—with women closely
arouse
‚ maneuvering lay-
ups in drenched u
them off.
Summary: A sign
iforms—got
icant theme running
tight
cvealing de-
tched to its
a
trigger and makes it easy to imagi
that particular athlete would p.
nude in bed.
With men, the provocative г
d their leading preferences are varied.
зой»,
liness of the long-distance fucker. When
guys choose gymnasts as their turn-on
favorites, which 24 percent did, the ob-
vious source of the thrill is the exqu
agility of the fillyli
However, male gymnasts curr
ach favor with the women in our survey.
Only two percent of them reported an
erogenous tingle observing those grace-
ful. slim-physiqued acrobats. Evidently
ladies get ol when a male athlete per-
forms like а ing car—body lines are
enhanced when there is real power un-
der the hood. For females, their main
choices were football, tennis, basketball
nd boxing. Aggressive play is the tan-
izing common denominator.
When we asked everyone to figure out
how the opposite sex would answer our
question, both sides guessed fairly accu-
rately, except that women overestimated
the number of guys who got hot looking
at a girl swim. And men missed the mark
by underestimating, basketball as a fem-
inine v phrodisiac.
Irs clear that as the amount of leisi
пе increases, both sports and sex will
tinue to flourish. Perhaps if morality
keeps changing at the same rapid pace,
not only will the Olympics go back to
games played in the nude but fucking
will be the m: event. However, until
then, those unsung champions of sex will
have to get their gold medals in bed.
An invitation to readers: So much for
the wide and sexy world of sports. Now
its time to turn to pursuits of the mind.
Over the past few уса
were once forbidden h
monplace. Masturbation,
mental illness,
ly everyone. More and more people are
paying lip service to oral sex. And
sex surveys indicate an increasing
ber of couples willing to exper
with that most taboo of techniques
sex. What's next? Is there a
that you would like to see fall? What
forbidden areas do you think the oppo-
site sex would like to explore? Let your
ginations roam. Nothing you say will
be held against you, Send your responses
to The Playboy Reader Sex Poll, 919
North Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Ili-
nois 60611. — HOWARD SMITH
once a
SEX POLL FEEDBACK
our readers respond to sex polls past
SEX AND CINEMA
Thanks for conducting a Sex Poll on
erotic movies (Invitation to
June 1978), You have то wonder who
ilm n udi
Lots of
. The obligatory cum.
shots, with the man pulling his cock out
of her cunt and spurting onto her tum-
my. How unrcalistic!
On the other hand, occasionally there
are glimpses of real turn-ons. Georgii
Spelvin iy an example, particularly
her classic The Devil in Miss Jones.
was obvious to all of us watchi
film t
ing h escap:
flooding all her senses and thrilling to
everything happening to her. While she
was being fucked silly during her first
session, she was sucking wildly on a rub-
ber stimulator. Later. she and another
girl were almost fighting to see who got
the most Jicks on an erect cock and who
got most of the semen that resulted from
their The point is that the
obvious enjoyment of sex by the partici-
pants, in an environment that is realistic
in terms of our common experiences with
sex, is the key to turning on the male.
The common themes in current pori
films are с lesbi Temale
masturbation and straight fucking, with
numerous cum shots in which the ејасц
tion is shown presumably. 10 prove to
us viewers that it really happened. 1
would propose a new concept. one in
which the female is totally entranced by
sex
her reaction to all her senses—sight
touch, hearing, taste and smell—ay she
engages in sexual activity, amd is par-
ticularly turned on by semen and vaginal
lubrication. The real turn-on for me is
when 1 see the people in the film turn
on, and 1 relate to that.
There arc numerous variations on this
concep example:
The film opens with a single woman,
who is fully dressed, beautiful and 1
voluptuous body: she becomes sexually
aroused by some visual stimulus
slowly and luxuriously begi
her body, with the came
icularly her face,
nd runs her fingers
but here is a typica
pulls up her dress
up her thighs to her crotch: then she
pulls her panties aside t0 rub her fingers
in the slippery wetness of her cunt. She
then brings those fingers up to her nose
1 moans and
pout how good
heavily à
herself a
and breathes
talks softly t
her cunt juices smell. She rep
actions while caressing her br
the other hand: she exposes a nipple
covers it with some of her cunt juice. She
slowly brings her face and brea
gether, inhaling the lovely
then, sticking out her ton
masturbation,
concentrating on stimulating her
slow
anus; she runs her fingers around it, then
allows a finger to touch and slightly
penetrate the opening. Again, she ex-
plores the erotic smell of herself, this
time of her anus, and inhales deeply.
The session climaxes as she таман
her clitoris to or
stimulating alternately he
nd her anus. The whole point
she is thoroughly enjoying herself, and
her total enjoyment is obvious to me
vicwer.—B. J.. Virginia Beach, Virginia.
1 get turned on by a porno movie
when it features а big-breasted woman
with two or three men. Race is not im
portant, I really appreciate seeing one
man inserted anally, one orally and one
vaginally. Throw a little mild bond-
age into this situation and vou. have
helpless, not scared woman with th
men slowly caressing and penetra
every part of her body. What turns n
olf are 15-minute blow jobs. Snore! But
nothing turns me off as much as a film
climaxing with sperm flying in all direc
ions and dripping down a woman's face.
І would imagine men liked 15-minute
blow jobs. One man and multiple wom-
en and sperm in the face. Yecch.—Miss
A. H., New York. New York.
PICKUP SHTICKS
Um writing in response to the ques-
the May Sex Poll. The
best line I have ever used to pick up a
lady was a straightforward “How'd vou
like vour belly button tickled from the
inside?" However, I find that a catchy
line isn't what I take into ca
when it comes to being picked up. It's
more what the lady has to offer. 1t doesn't
lly matter how she says it, just wheth-
er or not she lets me know if she wants
me.—.L. L., Chicago. Illinois.
SEXUAL LANDMARKS
Tam writing this letter i
the question
tions posed
der
response to
Playboy Sex
U Sex-
ld have
s ago, when I was
roughnecking in West Texas. 1 met these
two girls from Quebec, who were touring
the U.S. My friend Jeff and I paired off
with these chicks Laer that night. Up
until that time, E thought sex was just
get it in, bang, bang, get a nut and roll
off, So Inter that night, 1 mounted
Estelle, 1 couldn't get it in, her cunt w
just too tight and dry. I had never hit
roadblock of this type and didn't know
to do. She just smiled, t
nd and showed me how to st
woman by gently massaging the cli
That was the beginning of three days of
ecstasy, experimenting with different po-
sitions and oral sex. I was sorry to see her
go. but she had changed my way of cop-
ulation.—A. C., Mansfield, Ohio.
l was bent in 1 direction
early in my sexual care landmark
of my life (sexual or otherwise) had to
be the first time I went down on a lady.
Silky thighs, pubic hair, softly yielding
nether lips parted to reveal an erect litle
clitoris, And best of all, that delici
г nee. My greatest јоу is to take an
rly morning muff dive with my favorite
ly and then be careful not to touch
my mustache when I am washing for
work, so that her sweet perfume stays
with me for the rest of the day—T. L.,
Maryville, Missouri.
61
~ “EYER OLD IMPORTED IK SOTLE FROM СА
BY HIRAM WALKER IMPORTERS ING. DETROIT. MICH
б PROOF BLENDED CAN
NWR 1578 7.
the “Lost Dutchman” old mine.
Legend saysit’s.near the place where
we hid a case of cer
X
We heard tales of hidden gold in the
mountains east of Phoenix. They tell
how miners who discovered it were
mysteriously massacred. How an old
prospector, “The Dutchman,’ rediscov-
ered it. And how he, too, took its secret
tothe grave.
We searched the same canyons
the Dutchman had followed.
These mountains seemed a natural
place to hide a case of Canadian Club.
So we found a wrangler, and with our
C.C. tied on a surefooted
mule, we set out. We would
seek a hiding place among the
sites of the Dutchman’s legend
.. and perhaps his lost gold
mine too. His last words were
about a needle-like rock near
his mine. So we kept such a
rock in sight as we followed
narrow canyons. lts been a
spell since adventurers here
have met up with gold-crazed
outlaws. Still, our wrangler's revolver
was comforting as shadows deepened.
A campfire, cowboy beans and С.С.
with mountain stream water.
With dark, we pitched camp below
the needle-rock, put our chow on the
fire, and toasted our saddle sores with
C.C. and icy clear stream water. Next
day we rode northwest to a well-trav-
eled “Indian trail” and soon buried the
Canadian Club. To find it, seek a place
on that trail where the needle-rock is in
sight, then head for lakes that weren't
here when the Dutchman was.
A strange rock, an abandoned camp.
Seek the rock pictured here (warn-
ing: itwon't look this way from the trail)
and ride directly toward it. Fol-
low a rocky trail that's really
more stream bed in places, past
a lone cactus that grows from a
high rock outcropping, to the
end. Near here we made camp
again ‘neath a small tree where
the distant needle-rock can
again be seen. Within sight of
our fire, we buried our full f > E 7 х
case of Canadian Club. E Ы de
We wish you better luck in 7 /
1 ple
your search for the buried case ee a Canadian led F-
of Canadian Club than those > EE uv Ё
who've sought the Dutchman's 7 жес
TR MEL gold. But be warned: this : 575 Aero Heer) In
a rugged country is unforgiving, 4а
So if the trail seems too rigorous, you can strike it rich at any bar
or package store. Just say, “C.C., please.”
Beginning Sept. 4. get more clues by calling 800-221-4686. In N.Y. call 800-522-7517.
Кы бев
“What’s the name а Ы ts
ў І и his charm
oft en Z or the a
pipe tobacco =- - «Maybe I Pipe tobacco, «Оо I'm in love
he’s wearing? should smoke hes wearing? ee that
@ pipe... $ pipe tobacco
EXT "D wish my man а Le he’s wearing!”
would wear `
his pipe tobacco."
ре Tobacco.
wears well.
New Argosy Black is taste. With an aroma
a superior blend of selected so pleasing, so distinctive,
dark tobaccos. people around you will
New Argosy Black Gold think of it as part of you.
combines choice dark, burley
and bright leaf tobaccos. Argosy Black &
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will give you a soft, mellow
THE PLAYBOY FORUM
acontinuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers
URINALS FOR WOMEN?!
Wisconsin has had a proud tradition
as a leader in liberal legislation, being
the first state to adopt Workmen's Coi
pensation, among other things. While
Wisconsin has approved the E.R.A., one
wonders if it is nece I just ross
the following administrative rule that
provides urinals for women:
H 62.08(11) Urinals
ukıxaıs (a) Women. Urinals for
women may be installed as
iliary or supplementary fixtur
type fixture is not to be used as a
substitute for water closets. In all
cases, the minimum number of water
closets required shall be provided
1. Enclosure. The urinal shall be
enclosed with a standard-size water-
closet compartment and door to in-
sure privacy in use. An instruction
card explaining how to use the fis
ture shall be posted in cach such
compartment.
Charles G. Center
Auorney at Law
Madison, Wisconsin
Alas, since you wrote to us, some hu-
morless turkey persuaded state officials to
wrap this enlightened piece of legislation.
NEXT QUESTION
Please advise if the swallowing of
m can cause plaque to form on teeth.
Kindly do not print my name.
(Name withheld by reque
Fair Lawn, New Jersey
We can't persuade the Playboy Advisor
that you're not putting us on and the
most he'll say is that you should have no
problems if you brush after cating and
watch those between-meal snacks.
spe
MEET THE REAL DICK TRACY
There's a funny story circulating in
the local legal community that might be
of some interest to your readers. It scems
that one of our gallant law-enforcement
officers made a collar on a suspected
prostitute alter she had allegedly sta
giving him a blow job in a lı
bathtub known as a "love tub
questioning at a preliminary he
detective testified. that though the
took place in three feet of water, the
You can probably
the defense attorney had with this, but
just in case you can't, I've enclosed а
copy of the motion the lawyer filed ask-
ing that the officer “submit to a physical
examination by а physician or a survey.
or who can certify to the jury that the
length of the officer's penis is . . . pre-
sumptively short of three and one half
feet.”
(Name withheld by request)
Columbus, Ohio
FUN-LOVING FIREMEN
This letter is in reg:
to your response
to the woman who comments on the
sexuality of firemen in the June Playboy
Forum. Your naive comment is, “Our
“Tf there were
a true sexual revolution,
prostitutes wouldn’t
be in business.”
gallant fire fighters as new national sex
symbols—we'll have to think about that
one.” Boy, who just threw you guys off
the turnip truck? Firemen are not the
new national sex symbols, they are the
national sex symbols!
ve been around Гог only 23 years, but
ever since I developed an interest in
men, firemen have been tops on my list.
All my women friends and I agree that if
there is one profession with the most
ractive males, it has to be that of
fireman. I imagine th
your women readers, you would fi
a great deal of them shared this
Patti Fortunati
ancisco, California
t if you polled
id that
Ww.
As you found out, we firemen are a
ch of carefree, fun-loving, sex-crazed,
horny creatures out to get what we
before the "big one" gets us. But an
image as sex symbols we don't need.
After all, who would you want gi
morning—a sex maniac who hı
а woman for several hours or one of
America’s herocs?
We have an image to protect and we
keep a low profile, because why ruin a
good thi
g? And we are good. But chau-
Really, now!
Kerry A. Buck, Fireman
Palm Springs, Ca
RETURN OF THE MINUTEMEI
I am writing this letter to express my
dissatisfaction and that of my associates
over the lesbian pictorials that vou have
put in your magazine. И you are trying
to be liberal and freethinking, then you
should have the guts to put in just
many malehomosexual pictorials. Let
me state now that 1 am not a homosex-
ual and that a true heterosexual male
docs not
nt to sit by and watch wom-
еп waste themselves on other women.
He would rather service those women
himself. There is something wrong with
а man who likes to watch women have
sex with cach other. The Ameri
woman is screwed up enough as it i
If there were a true sexual revolution
as you and the rest of the med
claim, prostitutes wouldn't be in busi
ness. Contrary to all of the feminist
raving, women just don't
s me
ike sex as
1 ат talking about
ght animal sex and no bull-
Any man can satisfy а won
an. The problem is getting them 10 let
you. Women are responsible for most
of the barriers keeping men and women
from getting together to fuck. The m
jority of the men їп America would
fuck a dillerent woman every week if
they could. Women have the opportuni-
ty to do this with men, but they don't
want to.
Prostitution should be legalized all
Over America man should be
denied a woman ast once a month,
regardless of his economic and social
65
PLAYBOY
66
status and misfortunes such as imprison-
ment and physical deformities. It fills
me with rage to think of all the lonely
and dejected disabled veterans in and
out of hospitals. The Government
should provide them with the finest cour-
tesans if the American women can't find
time off from all the phony “groupie”
causes they espouse. There should also
be male bordellos for women. The
streets of America are going to “run red
with blood" in the future. Men and
women should be getting together now
as much as they can.
Lt. Bert Diedtrich
Minutemen
Angeles, Californi:
We always thought minutemen were
fellows afflicted with premature. ejacu-
lation. And before our women readers
start raising hell about the above letter,
read the one that follows.
PACKING IT IN
I read with some amusement the letter
in the April Playboy Forum on the sub-
ject of penis size from the woman in San
Jose and with even more amusement
reply that no letter you had ever
dt with this subject so rea-
sonably from a woman's point of view.
You choose to ignore the basic hypocrisy
of your magazine; i.e., that the size of a
breasts is a turn-on and the
an's cock isn’t a determining
factor in sexual enjoyment. This is
absolute nonsense.
When I was still in my teens and quite
inexperienced sex, 1 married a
"shrimpie" whose fully extended. penis
was not more than five inches. 1 ат not
an Amazon, by any means (I stand only
54" and weigh 118 pounds) and my
husband was of average build and height.
I stupidly believed that all men w
bout the same size and the rcasoi
wasn't getting me off was some fai
on ту part. A few months into the mar-
riage, b had my first affair with a guy
with an extended penis that I have come
to conclude is average length, about
seven inches. Those two inches made a
world of difference for me and from
that moment on, seven inches was the
imum length I'd accept.
Since divorcing, I have had a number
s, but only with men whom I've
checked out beforehand. Why te
time, after all, with a man who may be
very nice, handsome and very experi-
enced in sex but who doesn't have the
heavy-duty equipment I require? 1 want
a big cock in me, the bigger the better,
nd I've discovered that, generally spea
ing, the larger the man, the bigger hi
I look at his hands first; bigger
size of
And before T let him get me into
bed, I very discreetly arouse him to
check out what's dow . If he isn’
all there, he doesn't score. As I say, I
FORUM NEWSFRONT
what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas
JUSTICE ALMOST PREVAILS
CLOVIS, NEW MEXICO—A mistrial was
declared in the unusual case of a 23-
year-old woman charged with contribut-
ing to the delinquency of а minor—a
15-year-old youth with whom she al-
ledgedly had sexual relations. The de-
[endant's original indictment had been
town out earlier by an appellate
court that ruled that sex may have con-
tributed to the boys education but not
to his delinquency. That decision was
later reversed by the state supreme
court. An informal poll of the trial
jury indicated the vole had been 11 to
1 for acquittal.
SNAKES AND THE LAW
Austin—The Texas Supreme Court
has agreed with the state appeals court
that agreed with a trial judge who had
disagreed with a jury by refusing lo
giant $20,000 damages lo a snakebite
victim. The plainuff had been struck
by а raitler while reaching for a jar of
jelly in a Del Rio store. Testimony had
suggested that the snake had slithered
in through an open back door in pur-
suit of а mouse and the jury had held
the store liable. But the judges all de-
cided that a storekeepers duty 10 pro-
tect customers from such creatures does
not begin until he knows of their
presence.
PROMISE ENFORCED
WATERBURY, CONNECTICUT—A_ superi-
or-couri judge has held that a man who
married a woman knowing she was
pregnant by another man and who
promised 1o act as the child's. father
may not later deny paternity to avoid
paying child support. The case arose
when the couple divorced after two
years and the ex-husband objected to
supporting the child on the ground
that it was “not an issue of the mar-
riage” The judge decided that the
marriage had been contingent on the
husband's promise to claim the child
as his own and that that was a binding
agreement.
POT PENALTY
LTON, WASHINGTON—Afler a 24-
year-old man pleaded guilty to
possessing more than 40 grams of mavi-
juano—in the form of £3. plants con-
fiscated from his farm—a county judge
decided not to invoke the state's maxi
mum penalty of up to five years in
prison. Instead, he ordered ins man to
appear at the courthouse for the next
four Sundays and do 20 laps around
the building pushing a wheelbarrow
filled with dirt, one pot plant and, at
the defendant's request, a small sign:
DECRIMINALIZE MARIJUANA. Commented
the judge, “You can believe what you
want, but you have to obey the
law. ... He can have the damn sign on
it if he wants.”
YANKEE, STAY HOME
WASHINGTON, v.C—The National Or-
ganization for the Reform of Mari-
Juana Laws (МОК МТ.) has asked U.S.
citizens lo stay out of Mexico and not
to buy Mexican fruits, vegetables and
meats as a protest against the country's
continuing use of the potentially dan-
gerous herbicide paraquat оп mari-
juana fields. NORML national director
Keith Stroup said that although this
action would hardly bring Mexico “10
its knees,” it's an important protest and
would call attention to the faci that
Mexican authorities are showing even
less concern than the U. S. Government
over the possible harm caused by crop-
eradication programs.
NO FLUSHING THE STASH
FAYE LE, GEORGIA—Police as-
sisted school officials in raiding о high
school for drugs—after first turning off
the water lo prevent students from
flushing any evidence. Pot-sniffing dogs
were used lo check among the 1700 stu-
dents, their lockers and other possible
hiding places. Police chief Charles Gil-
bert said officers found mostly joints,
many of them tossed out of windows
“We didn’t use any Gestapo tactics,” he
said, “but I think we did leave a psy-
chological effect on the students.
FUGITIVE WITH A FLAIR
KANSAS CITY—Federal authorities are
trying to add up the debts incurred by
а prisoner who scems to have pulled off
one of the most stylish prison breaks
on record. After stealing a pickup truck
from the motor pool of the Leaven-
worth Federal prison honor farm, the
31-year-old. escapee rented a limousine
complete with chauffeur to drive him
10 Tulsa and there rented a suite of
rooms al а motel. He arranged to have
these charged to his limo bill before
moving lo a second motel, where he had
his bil charged to the first, all the
while posing as an entertainment im-
presario selling up a reception [or a
counhy singer. Keeping one step ahead
of the FBI, he checked out, rented a
hwin-engined aircraft and hired a pilot
lo fly him to Dallas, where the Feds
were waiting. The fugitive had been
serving five years for auto theft and
was nearly eligible for parole.
BOOBS ON THE TUBE
BONITA. SPRINGS, FLORIDA—Local tele-
vision viewers expecting to хее an old
Lloyd Bridges thriller called “Daring
Game" were surprised instead 10 wit-
ness half an hour of naked women
frolicking in а hayloft and shouting
obscenities. The station manager
blamed the incident on a mix-up by
the film distributor.
POWER TO THE PROSECUTOR
WASHINGTON, D.C.— The U.S. Supreme
Courl has increased the plea-bargaining
power of criminal prosecutors by ruling
Ihat they may threaten a defendant
with a more serious indictment if he
refuses to plead guilty to ап initial
charge and demands a trial. The five-
to-four decision came in the case of
a Kentucky man who received a life
sentence after he refused to plead
guilty to forging an $88 check and ac-
сер a five-year sentence. Two previous
felony convictions made the defendant
subject to indictment as a habitual of-
fender. Writing for the majority, Jus-
tice Potter Stewart maintained that “in
the ‘give-and-take’ of plea bargaining,
there is no such element of punishment
or retaliation as long as the accused is
free to accept or reject the prosecu-
tion's offer." In dissent, Justice Harry
A. Blackmun said the ruling condoned
proseculorial vindictiveness.”
MORE POLICE POWER
A number of state and national legis-
lators are drafting bills designed to
prevent police from routinely search-
ing newspaper or magazine offices for
evidence in criminal cases, as recently
authorized by the U.S. Supreme Court.
Ruling in a California case, the Court
held that police do not have to issue
subpoenas to examine journalistic files
and records but can obtain search war-
rants and seize the materials in raids. A
spokesman for the U.S. Department of
Justice quickly announced that ils
agents would not alter their practices
but would continue to seek such
dence by means of subpoenas before те-
sorling to search warrants. The case,
stemming from a police search of the
offices of the Stanford University stn-
dent newspaper in 1971, was supported
by the Playboy Foundation during its
appeal.
LOVE YOUR LOCAL POLICE
TAMPA, FLORIDA—A 27-year-old wom-
an was sentenced 1o five days in jail for
calling the local police department to
say “I love you.” Officers said she
called 19 limes during one eight-hour
period, including cight limes in one
hour, tying up the police emergency
line.
GAYS AT THE BAR
MlAMI—/n a six-to-one decision, the
Supreme Court of Florida has ruled
that homosexuality does not preclude
acceplance by the state bar. In a suit
brought by the American Civil Liber-
lies Union of Southern Florida, the
court held that sexual preference does
nol in itself constitute a failure to meet
the“ good moral character” standards for
practicing law in the state. The deci-
sion specified that any disciplining of
members because of personal. moral
standards should take place only when
there was a “substantial connection”
between private behavior and the
ability to carry out professional respon-
sibilities.
ASSAULT WITH A GREASY WEAPON
ROCHESTER, NEW YORK—A 26-year-old
man has been arrested for “harass-
ment” of a police officer with French-
fried potatoes. The officer said that
when he stopped in an all-night diner
to use the telephone, a catsup-soaked
French fry smacked into the wall next
to him. He then warned a customer lo
cease fire, but instead, the man used his
fork as a catapult to score a messy hit
on the officer's uniform. According to
the police report, "the subject was ar-
vested while reloading.”
SUICIDE BY DRUGS
ATLANTA—A nationwide analysis of
3000 psychoactive — drugassociated
deaths suggests that many of those re-
corded as accidental overdoses are, in
fact, suicides. The study, conducted in
nine cities by the University of Califor-
nia at Irvine under a contract with the
National Institute on Drug Abuse, con-
cluded that “a reasonable. estimate of
the percentage of suicides among all
drug-involued deaths in these cities
ranged from 35 to 45 percent,” but an
absence of evidence led authorities
often to list such deaths as accidents.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE?
PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY—A Gallup
Poll has found Americans to have quite
а propensity for believing in super-
natural and paranormal phenomena.
For those believing in UFOs, the figure
was 57 percent; angels, 54 percent; ESP,
51 percent; devils, 39 percent; precogni-
lion, 37. percent; vu, 30 percent;
astrology, 29 percent; ghosts, 11 per-
cent; and witches, 10 percent. The
Loch Ness Monster and Bigfoot ran
neck and neck at 13 percent each. The
ilis were based on in-person inter-
views with 1533 adults in 300 commu-
nilies across the country.
67
PLAYBOY
68
Look at it this way:
Your TV can tape shows when you're not home,
guard the house. and bark like a dog.
And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?
Pinch 12 year old Scotch
86 PROOF BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY —RENFIELO IMPORTERS, LTD.. N.Y.
don't waste time with shrimp meat
I'm sure you'll find that most women
feel as I do (though they won't admit
it, so as not 10 damage the fragile psy
chologies of their mates)—that bigger
is better, all other things being equal
That's why vibrators start at eight inches.
But don’t get me wrong—irs a hot,
hard, lor
ness and appreciation of other people's
ht
is
fat cock I want. Perceptive-
feelings is bullshit. When you come
down to it, guys, a big rack of me:
all you need. The rest will take care of
itself.
(Name withheld by request)
Orange County, New York
THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND
That does it! Until now, we tris have
been content to stay in our closets, but
that idiots letter, "Irisexuals Come
Out" (The Playboy Forum. June).
threatens our very identity. The situa
tion was made even worse by your Copy
Editors memo gratuitously presuming
to lay down a set of "sexuality" defini-
tions. Since definitions serve the purpose
of precision in communication, sloppy
definitions cannot be tolerated.
For future reference and in thc ter
ests of accuracy in sexual education,
please advise your Copy Fditor of the
correct definition: “A trisexual is а per
son who loves tricycles and only tricycles
(usually three times at a sitting)"
R. Beier, President
Intragalaxy Trisesuals United
Sausalito, California
FETICIDE
The anti-abortionists contend that a
fetus has a
all the la
tion is nothing less th:
a step further, it would only seem logi
cal to investigate any other cause of
fetal death. For instance, if а woman
had а miscarriage through her own
negligence, she would be charged with
ight to life supported by
ws of this nation, and thus abor
б murder, Goin
murder, or at least manslaughter
Doesn't that make sense?
Peter Wilens
Detroit, Michigan
MEDICINAL MARIJUANA
A friend of mine fractured a vertebra
in a car accident and experienced terri
which the hospital ueated
with the usual narcotics and other drugs.
When he was able to sit in a wheelchair,
1 and other friends would take him out
onto the hospital balcony for visits and
also for a few tokes of grass. To cvery
one’s surprise, the marijuana seemed to
йу reduce his need for other
considers
painkillers, apparently by helping him
relax. To our further surprise, we dis-
covered that other patients in the bro
ken-bone department were using the
balcony for the same purpose—and that
most of the nurses and even some ol the
My father gave me a whole sports file
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If after examining it all you are not satis-
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CHECK ONE: Г)! SAVE COD CHARGES, enclosed $1.00
shipment, you may then
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PLAYBOY
70
Forum Library
NEW CREDIT RIGHTS FDR WOMEN:
Passage of the Equal Credit Oppor-
tunity Act in 1975 was one thing; how
to exercise one's rights under that law
is quite another. This 73-page manual
covers just about every aspect of the
subject—the different kinds of credit,
how to obtain it, remedies for discrimi-
nation, even what to do about defec-
tive products, fine-print surprises and
‘strong-arm bill collectors. Send $2.75
(plus ten cents to cover state tax in
Illinois) to Consumer Credit Project,
Inc., 261 Kimberly, Barrington, Illinois
60010.
LEGAL CHALLENGES TD THE MARIJUANA
Laws: Here's a handy bibliography for
attorneys and anyone else doing legal
research on pot and pot laws. It's a
practical reference manual and guide
10 cases that have challenged the con-
stitutionality of various drug statutes or
raised the issues of marijuana identifi-
vation, search-and-seizure, entrapment,
sentencing and the defense of medical
necessity. Available for ten dollars
from the National Organization for the
Reform of Marijuana Laws, 2317 M
Street N.W., Washington, D.C. 20037.
THE PRISONER'S YELLOW PAGES: For
those on the inside looking out, or
getting out with no place to go, heres
а 37-page state-by-state directory of
agencies, organizations, halfway
houses, law libraries and legal-aid
groups offering assistance to both
cons and ex-cons who need a help-
ing hand. The Playboy Foundation
provided the initial printing and these
copies are free to prisoners while
the supply lasts. Others should en-
close a donation to help keep the
Project going. Write to Universal Press,
Box 5570, Los Angeles, California
90055.
HELP FDR THE PROSTATE: Proslale
problems terrify and mystify so many
people that C.S.LE. has now put out
a pamphlet on the subject. Just send
a stamped, self-addressed, business-
size envelope and 25 cents to the
Committee for Sexual Information and
Education. 1 Palomar Arcade Number
107, Santa Cruz, California 95060, and
ask for booklet B34.
A WHISTLEBLOWER'S GUIDE TD THE
FEDERAL BUREAUCRACY: Or how to be a
thorn in the Governments side and
keep those suckers honest. What we
have here is a lively littlé 39-page
booklet aimed primarily at persons
either employed by the Government or
working with it who become aware of
improper agency practices but don't
know how lo go about exposing or
correcting them. It's billed as "a map-
ping of rules, regulations and common-
sense strategizing for the scientists,
accountants, clerks and others who
play the bureaucracy's most dangerous
game: whistleblowing.” The Playboy
Foundalion subsidized the printing, and
for three dollars, you can obtain a copy
from the Government Accountability
Project, Institute for Policy Studies,
1901 Que Street N.W., Washington,
D.C. 20009.
YOUR LEGAL RIGHTS AND RESPONSI-
BiLITIES: This 25-page “Guide for Public
School Students" spells out for stu-
dents and parents their legal rights—
and obligations—concerning exami-
nation of school records, expulsion,
the exercise of free speech, and so
forth, as protected by various laws or
established through court decisions.
It's available free from сиг very own
Government. Just send a postcard to
the Consumer Information Center,
Department 652F, Pueblo, Colorado
81009, and ask for it by title.
YOUR LEGAL
RIGHTS &
RESPONSIBILITIES
A GUIDE FOR PUBLIC
SCHOOL STUDENTS
THE RIGHTS DF VETERANS: This is the
latest in a series of full-size paperbacks
оп legal rights produced by the Ameri-
can Civil Liberties Union and marketed
by Avon Books. The format is basically
question-and-answer—everything from
AW.O.L. problems to military records
and discharge upgrades, in 269
Pages that reveal the little-known
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describe the rights of mental pa-
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teachers, women and other downtroc-
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book, send two dollars to the A.C.L.U.
Literature Department, 22 East 40th
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and ask for it by title.
doctors not only were aware of this but
made a point of ignoring it.
I would expect that by now research-
ers would have found out if pot has
any direct pain-killing properties. I
would also expect that it doesn’t. But
from what I saw, I think it's quite likely
it has some secondary medical uses in
this area by relieving tension, improving
morale and making an injured person
feel better emotionally. The hosp
personnel seem to have discovered this
in “field testing,” because they were
certainly not opposed to this form of
treatment.
(Name and address
withheld by request)
LICENSE-PLATE B.S.
In response to the letter on person
alized licenseplate "in"-manship and
oneupmanship in the July Playboy
Forum, I have only the following to
offer: BED— Big Fucking Deal!
hard Hayhoe
San Francisco, California
VOTER GUARANTEE
I a business or an individual adver
tises a product or a service and enters
into a contract to furnish same, the
terms of that contract сап be enforced
under a multitude of laws and
tions, Likewise, a political candi
ters into a contractual agre
sorts when he issues promises to the
public in return for votes and tax dollars
to implement those promises. So why
can we not hold a political
an ofliceholder accountable in the same
ways as through truth-inendii
in-advertising апа performance-w
laws? If the ervices. unrendered.
ad promises unfulfilled, the
without waiting for an offici
expire, should be able
breach of contract and replace him.
LOTS OF LAUGHS
Elizabeth McNeill's bondage experi
ence (Nine and a Half Weeks, pLavuoy,
April) reminds me of my own, though
my role was the reverse of hers. My
college roommate, Dee, took me and а
girlfriend, Lind
while her folks w
Terry was there
of strip poker. Since a sister and brother
were present, we agreed to undress only
as [ar as our underwear, any additional
losses to be paid by submitting to what-
ever suitable penalty was decided on by
the win We were all down to the
limit when Terry lost the final hand.
After some debate, we decided his
punishment: He would be tickle-tortured
for an hour. Since he was so much
stronger than we were, it was further
decreed that he be tied up during his
penalty session. We spr
ad-cagled him
on his parents! double bed, usi
E p y
hose supplied by his sister. As the tick-
ling began, Terry developed an erection
that was extremely conspicuous, because
I he had on were his boxer shorts.
Dec became e
ic him
id 1 were very turned on by that tim
so we refused. Dee went to bed herself,
leaving her brothe
We were getting
finally Linda spotted
We decided to massage i the
lotion, tickling him at the same time.
Inevitably, I suppose, we decided that
to un
nd sillier,
boule of lotion.
his shorts were Linda took a
pair of scissors and cut them off, despite
Terry's struggles and protests. 1 was very
roused by that time and 1 was dying
with anticipation as she massaged closer
d closer to his ci At long
last, she soaked her in lotion,
sped his hard penis and slowly began
l up and down. In just a n
ше, Terry threw his head back
ejaculated. E had ne ched a n
come before and [ was amazed at
force and volume of the fuid
squirted out.
Then Terry wanted to be let loose,
but 1 begged Linda to keep him tied. I
took over massaging him, and when his
erectio I brought him to an-
other org
and
wi
1
the
that
return
n. After we cleaned him up.
we all fell asleep. Sometime during the
ht, I woke up an playing with
Ferry again, while Linda slept soundly
beside us. He was still tied, of course, so
1 teased him for al n hour before
masturbating him j
1 have never had such
since and T long for the opportun
i up and play with him to
e ol le Ir
me withheld by request)
Waterbury, Connecticut
We don't know whether to envy Terry
or to sympathize with him. Probably the
Jormer, since he didn't file charges.
ANOTHER VIEW
1 certainly don't agree with th
who want to persecute “q
ways, homosexuals are easier to deal with
than the average horny n
he finds himself face to face with
. turns int
ng. pawing. dirty-joke
ng stud, especially if he's had a drink
or two, I hate those bastards, because
me feel like a little
оо stupid 10
1 know
fanatics
s^ In many
le who, when
їе
understand
some women who prefer homosexuals as
what's go
[ is because they treat
who go out of their way to hate queers
must be the same oncs who get some
kind of kinky pleasure out of being
pawed, insulted and demcaned by macho
types, whom they either accept sexually,
in а very sick kind of exchange that
gratifies their masochistic needs, or sa-
distically reject when the poor
е just about ready to come in their
ts.
I have some friends who are terribly
flattered by such piggish attention but
who don't want the intimacy of sex.
Those same women are the only ones I
know who hate homosexuals, and I think
it's because homos aren't constantly try-
ing to get them into bed, which can ci-
feelings.
thheld by request)
Toledo, Ohio
e a woman or hurt I
GOOD BS.
The following comes to us from an
associate professor of English who
wishes—nay, begs—to remain anon-
ymous. He explained that he already
has enough trouble getting his stu-
dents to take him seriously.
Over the years that I've been read-
ing PLAYBOY, | have regularly noted
the reckless usage of the terms bull-
shit, horseshit. and so on. by writers
of articles as well as by readers in
The Playboy Forum. And | am sur-
prised that a magazine as well edited
as yours has made no apparent ef-
fort to define and standardize these
pejorative variations on the word shit
for the benefit of scholars, abecedar-
ians, etymologists and others of us
intellectual compulsives who strive to
reduce or eliminate semantic con-
fusion.
Presuming that PLAYBOY, like most
publications. has a stylebook and
also a style policy and is conscious
of the process by which vulgar and
vernacular expressions gradually
wend their way into the language
through popular usage and, eventual-
ly, into dictionaries, 1 would like to
offer what little assistance | can in
helping you good people sort out all
this shit, so to speak.
Ignoring fly shit, flea shit, elephant
shit and other sophomoric efforts to
elaborate on the fundamental shit
concept, let me suggest the defining
of only three basic shit categories
that include what | consider the prin-
cipal follies that our fellow country-
men are attempting to describe.
Bullshit: Crap that deceives no-
body and is enjoyed by everybody;
Chickenshit: Petty crap dumped on
subordinates by persons in positions
of authority;
Horseshit: Bad bullshit, as dissem-
inated by governments, corporate
managements, politicians and other
congenital liars dedicated to deceiv-
ing or misleading the public.
The above, we've decided, is a
classic example of good bullshit.
ANOTHER BRIGHT IDEA
In deference to those who, like An
Bryant, fear the influence of homosex-
uals upon children, I have been suggest-
ing for the past year that one suppertime
newscast per week be preempted by a
film of heterose: intercourse between
two popular stars such as Farrah Fawcett-
Majors and Lee Majors. By emphasizing
the loving, caring, married status of the
performers, by limiting th i
the missionary position and by using no
visible contraceptive devices, my pro-
posal would provide—in a context that
should be morally and legally acceptable
10 all—proper heterosexual role models
whom children can learn to emulate in
riage. It would also give supper
viewers a welcome respite from the
steady diet of crime and si
dominates most newscasts,
your m:
Т have hı
attempts by Christians
liberties. Here are some examples
Bryant, using quotations
Irom her Bible, is crusading to remove
laws that prevent discrimination against
homosexuals.
olics are сатр:
пу
civil
imit
: ning to єп
into law religiously based. anti-abortion
commitments.
5. Christi;
ing censorship of so
in books and films.
ct
dlvertisements in
nain some
d
nly if they c
iristian phrase or symbol.
«сер!
ion
his public
€
Par who
Christian
nts
re kidn
are
ping
predominantly
lult offspring
(with litle interference from legal aw
thorities) and attempting to depr
them of belief in unconvention
gions.
It seems from these examples. that
Christians are attempting to force the
beliefs on everyone and that, in the proc-
ess, they s the persecution of
some minorities. Alo, these acts do nor
seem like acts of love and charity from
religion that stresses these virtue
Don L'Heureux
Regina, Saskatchewan
si
а
TRUE, AFTER ALL!
The episode described in the Ma
Playboy Forum in which a suspected
nal was hooked up to a "lie de-
tector” comprised ol
banery- jump a photocopy
machine, copying the words “He's ly
ing.” was not а hoax. That “hoax” was
perpetrated on one of our clients, an
impoverished illiterate "graduate" of a
third-grade ches in Puerto Rico who
was accused of arson, Rendering a dis
position favorable to the defendant, the
cables
a
PLAYBOY
72
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Yet. os “high end” os Nikkcs components ore, the “meons” it tokes to ocquire
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Contemporary
judge stated to the attorneys tying the
case, "I hope this doesn't mean that
the public defenders condone arson.”
Richard R. Fink
Chief Public Defender
Doylestown, Pennsylvan
Thanks. The errors in the original
wire-service report made the incident
impossible 10 verify, so we reported it
as а good story but possibly а hoox—
because the police officials we queried
(in the wrong town) only laughed and
said that their detectives were not imagi
native enough to by such a scam. They
all loved the story. We're only slightly
disappointed to learn that it actually hap-
pened and is not а modern variation of
a folk tale.
CLARIFICATION
The special report “Pot Laws in Other
Lands” published in the March Playboy
Forum incorrectly states in a chart that
the only penalty for private possession
of marijuana in Ecuador is po:
during the in-
1. considerable medi-
nd legal expenses and long-term
imprisonment.
J. Anthony Allitto
Country Officer for Ecuador
Department of State
Washington, D.C
Since the chart we published was based
on information compiled by the State
Department, we checked into this and
offer the following amplification from
Edwin С. Corr, U. S. Chargé d'Affaires in
Quito: “I believe that the office in the
State Department that supplied the origi-
nal information condensed it a bit too
much. ... Although it is true that users
are treated as sick persons and not as
criminals, the ‘treatment’ and the legal
release therefrom can often take many
months with extremely high financial
costs of subsistence and legal fees to the
individual.” So there you have it, folk
Here you're a criminal, there youre a
patient; but cither way, you're locked up.
COURAGE OF CONVICTIONS
In the letter titled. “Pot Talk" (The
Playboy Forum, May), a police officer
sting pot laws may be bad, but
not be changed by individuals
n." Oh, but how wrong he
precisely how the
laws are right now being
weakened for that very reason. It starts
with individuals who are not afraid to
flaunt their lifestyles in public.
Flaunting a bag of marij
enough of us did it, would 1 ne
effect on society as flaunting a Star of
David in Denmark did during the last
if
MGB.
Widen your horizons.
In a world of caged-in, cooped-up cars, the MGB is a
classic sports car: low, lean and wide open all around.
Everything about the car is designed to make driving
more fun and widen your horizons.
The top-down, wind-in-your-tace sense of excite-
ment you get from driving an MGB comes from han-
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steering, quick-throw four-speed stick, and front and
back anti-sway bars for increased stability. And, with
its track-proven 1800cc engine, the MGB performs
like the proven winner it is. In fact, the MGB holds the
National Class E Championship in SCCA racing this
year, just as it has for six of the past seven years.
So sit in it. Drive it. Experience it.
And widen your horizons the quickest way we know.
Behind the wheel of an MGB.
For the name of the dealer nearest you, just
call these toll-free numbers: (800) 447-4700,
ot, in Illinois, (800) 322-4400.
BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS INC., LEONIA, NEW JERSEY 07605.
LEYLANE
PLAYBOY
74
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Z
XC) The First
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P-10/78
world war, when the Nazis ordered
Jews to so identify themselves. It s
with individuals. In Denmark, it
with the king.
John Harmon Walker
Lemon Grove, California
CURE OR KILL
I thought the Chicago Sun-Times had
an editorial
it ran opposing the 0.5. Government's
mad policy of helping the Mexicans
poison marijuana with рага
cluded its remarks b
ing the use of ma
poisoning the suppl r.
sider the analogy: If ‘revenooers’ find a
moonshine still, do they secretly
cyanide to its product?"
he sad thing is, I'm sure that some
fanatics would do just that.
go, Minois
Fanatics have already done just that,
or something very close. During Prohibi-
tion, the Government set up an elaborate
“denaturing” system for adding poisons
to the alcohol that could be manufac
tured legally for medical and industrial
purposes; and the fact that thousands of
people died, went blind or otherwise
were severely harmed by unknowis
consuming illegal booze made from that
poisonous alcohol didn't worry the pro-
hibitionists a bil. The drinkers were
merely being punished for their. sins.
Just as the early Christians righteously
burned and tortured heretics, the U. S.
Government has a pretty good record of
destroying people in order to save them
from themselves.
ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN
joyed the comments
s expressing their opinions
The Playboy Forum, but when I с
upon Ronald C. Thomas, }
(July) concerning сег
couldn't help wondering if the only rea-
son you decided to publish such an item
was to give your public a ру
I think someone should
as down and explain to him that acci-
dents happen to the best of drivers,
whether qualified, certified or not. Al-
lowing such a person to drive at a higher
te of speed would only make the effects
of an accident more devastating,
Bernie D. Davenport
Louisville, Kentucky
We have io admit that we published
Thomas’ letter mostly for its amusement
value. я
Mr. Thom-
DISCRIMINATION AD INFINITUM
1 got a chuckle out of the letter from
the conservationist who decided he was
getting carried away when he felt а pang,
of remorse at the news that some kind of
smallpox bug had been eradicated from
the planet (The Playboy Forum, August).
Stuck on my wall is a small clipping.
Since when
do you drink
Jim Beam?
“Since I discovered i its SO о miixablc
People like Jeannie enjoy
smooth, light, mellow Jim Beam
for exactly the same reason
you do: taste.
For six uninterrupted
generations now, the Beam
family has been making the
World's Finest Bourbon.
People like you
have been drinking
Beam since 1795.
BOURBON WHISKEY
а Prag
n m ct by
MES
der LING Deam
Jeannie Borchelt—Flight attendant. |
KENTUCKY STRAIGHT BOURBON WHISKEY. 80 PROOF. DISTILLED AND BOTTLED BY JAMES B. BEAM DISTILLING CO., CLERMONT, BEAM,
Millions
ot Americans
pay the
price of
hdeli
and dont get it.
This year, almost three million
Americans will go out looking for high
fidelity and come home with nifty little
compact stereos.
Another four hundred thousand
will put their hard earned money into
massive fruitwood consoles.
And still others will spend almost
$240 million on cheap “private label”
components.
A lot of the money these people
spend will be wasted. Mainly because
they won't be getting the high fidelity
they think they're paying for.
They'll be getting electronics that
are often no better than what's in your
kitchen radio.
And the pity is that for about the
same money, they could have had the
real thing.
What is high fidelity?
The minute you hear high fidelity,
you'll know what it’s all about.
Real high fidelity is an experience.
It's hearing, and feeling music the way
you've probably never heard or felt it
before. The way you can usually only
experience it at a live performance.
The only high fidelity equipment
made today that can give you these
experiences are separate brand name
components. Separate turntables,
receivers, speakers and tape decks,
each designed to do its one job perfectly.
Each built by companies who
care about music. Like Pioneer.
You don't have to be an expert
to buy it.
Just go to any reputable high
fidelity dealer. A dealer who not only
carries brands like Pioneer, but who also
features a separate soundroom for you
to sit back and really /isten to the
equipment.
Tell the salesman how much you
want to spend, how big your room is,
and what kind of music you usually
listen to.
If he starts talking about ohms or
microfarads, ask him to be quiet. You're
op. BS Olord Duse, Moora: New ler sey 07074,
not interested in hearing about ohms or
microfarads. You're interested in hearing
music.
Compare the sound of Pioneer's
hi fi components to components made
by any other ш hi fi company.
We think that you'll not only hear
how incredible music can sound on
good hi fi components in general, but
that you'll also hear why Pioneer
components, in particular, have become
number one today with people who care
about music.
And isn’t that why you want to buy
high fidelity equipment in the first
place? Because you care about music?
High Ficeity Components
(pIONCER
We bring it back alive.
The car that destroyed
the competition in the race
that destroys cars...
Renault won the 24 Hours of Le Mans,
the worlds premiere endurance race. More
than half the other cars didn't even finish.
AtLe Man: r must push itself to speeds of
5 miles per hour down mile-long straight,
then brake to 55 mph as it snakes its y through
5.4 miles of twists and bends — again and again
for 24 hours.
Of the 55 cars that started at Le Mans this
year, only 25 lasted long enough to finish. And
theone that finished first wasa Renault.
More miles in one day than you
probably drive in 3 months.
The 1978 winner was a Renault.
finished 5 full laps—that's 42
5-time winner Porsche and Jackie lek
Alpine, which
Le Car by
winning driver. We also set a new distance record
of 3,128 mile:
Another Renault-Alpine lapped Le Mans at
142.5 mph, shattering the lap record set by
Porsche and Ickx by 9 mph!
Drive a bit of the Le Mans winner.
The same engineering and advanced auto-
motive technology, the same meticulous atten-
Renault, whose prices start at only
Like the Renault-Alpine, Le Car, too, has
proven itself in auto racing. Le Car has won some
62 Sports Car Club of America Showroom Stock
Races, beating out-a
i MGB,and Fiat X 1/9.
high performance comes from an
engine that's also high on economy (41 mpg
highway, 26 mpg city! ). Its superior handling
comes from a combination of rack and pinion
steering, four-wheel independent suspe:
and Michelin radial tires— standard on
like the Renault-Alpine, unheard of as
equipment on econ s like Le C;
Yet,Le Car
car, with more room than some luxury
an incredibly smooth ride that Cur & D.
calls “а new standard for small car
Soif you can't drive the Le Mai
visit your Le Car dealer. And dı
a bitofthe Le Mans winner built intoit.
*Price excludes transportation. dealer preparation, and taxes. Stripe
and Mag Wheels optional at extra cost. Renault USA. Inc. ©1978, fCalifornia
excluded. Based on 1978 EPA estimates. The actual mileage you get will
vary depending on the ty pe of driving vou do, your driving habits, your
сагъ condition and optional equipment.
$
H
E
2
Е
=
8
Renault?
courtesy of my girlfriend, reporting that
the Humane Society of the United States
is concerned over "speciesism" creepi
into the debate over animal rights.
that some groups consider primates, dol-
phins, et aL, a higher order of creature
and more deserving of protection than
worms, frogs or laboratory rats, Another
faction labels this elitism and discrimina-
tion and contends that since all animals
have a unique role in the ecosystem, all
should be protected equally. Where will
it all end?
Joseph Johnson
Los Angeles, California
We have a geologist
climber,
Who knows?
friend who, as а mountain
sneers at speleologists because he consid-
ers igneous rock superior to sedimentary.
MORALITY LAWS
Just reading your report on the Jim
Hill case scared the living hell out of
me (Playboy Casebook, May). 1 travel
constantly and my first stop each evening
is at the motel or hotel bar, to sce if
there's a friendly lady around. I've spent
many nights with some fine women and
по and Hill's sit
uation tells me that I've been very lucky
(Name withheld by request)
Columbus, Ohio
few very weird one:
DEATH BUFF
Dear Name Withheld By Request, who
is presently serving time in the Апап
penitentiary and doesn't think anyone
who has met his former cellmate the re-
morseful murderer could pull the switch
on him (The Playboy Forum, July).
Hell, man, I'll come down and pull it
any old time, if they'll just pay my plane
fare and give me all the gold and silver
that melts out of a killer's mouth,
(Name withheld by request)
Shawnee Mission, Kansas
That's what we like about the death
penalty; it brings out the best in people.
a
IN MEMORIAM
I regret to advise that one of our
guards here at the Oregon State Pen was
caught giving head to one of the inmates
and has been relieved of his duties. In
behalf of myself and my fellow prisoners,
I would like to express our regret that
this has occurred. He was one of our
friendliest guards and we'll all miss him
very much.
Ali Oop
Salem, Oregon
offers the
dialog
“The Playboy Forum”
opportunity jor an
between and editors of this
publication on contemporary issues. Ad-
dress all correspondence to The Playboy
Forum, Playboy Building, 919 North
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611.
extended
readers
Bill Sumner logs over 35,000 business miles a year.
He's pretty choosey about his accommodations, and he
can be a tough hotel customer.
What keeps Bill and other business
travelers returning to Rodeway Inns?
Our rooms, for one thing. They're
_ dean, quiet, comfortable, and many in-
dude a steambath or whirlpool to help
you unwind after a busy day.
It's also easy to make reservations.
A toll-free call to our Reservations
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accommodations at Rodeway Inns coast to coast and in
Alaska, Canada,and Mexico.
So next time you're traveling, |
for business or pleasure, Бе а
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one place that will satisfy you.
mii (800) 228-2000 |
Inch, Hanau, Аша Mov alae 7200. THAT'S A RODEWAY INN!
In Canada, call collect or ask the operator for Zenith 06040.
79
PLAYBOY
What the best drinks
have in common.
Seagram's 7 Crown makes any drink taste better, f Y NN
because it tastes better all by itself. Just pour Y:
2 oz. over ice for a smooth, rewarding drink. And
enjoy our quality in moderation.
Seagram's 7 Crown
Where quality drinks begin.
‘SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CO., N. Y. C. AMERICAN WHISKEY—A BLEND. 80 PROOF.
nanor mawe DOLLY PARTON
with the curvaceous queen of country music
a candid conversation
Two days before the Palomino club
in Los Angeles sponsored its first Dolly
Parton Look-Alike Contest, Dolly Parton
was wondering whether or not she should
attend, Shed been to some others in
different parts of the country and she'd
been тозу disappointed. In. Los An-
geles, however, it might be different.
But she knew if she attended, she would
also enter, And she was wondering if
there was any chance she might lose.
“Wouldn't that be hysterical?” she said.
“But 1 doubt if I would. 1 mean, I look
too much like her.”
The contest was on a Wednesday
night. Dolly was rehearsing for a TV
special and wasn't sure if she'd be
through in time to run over with a
[riend to the North Hollywood club. On
Thursday, she'd be invited to her
friend Emmylou Harris’ house. Emmylou
said there were some people she wanted
Dolly to тесі. Although her schedule
was as tight as her clothes, Dolly accepted
without hesitation.
There was much talk in Los Angeles
about the top-secret album Dolly and
Emmylou and Linda Ronstadt were
working on. They'd been meeting and
recording in full-day sessions that had
been closed to the press. But there
had been managerial problems as well as
“I just like to feel things next to те.
Even before 1 had a figure, 1 liked my
clothes snug and tight. People would
always kid me in school about my little
butt and my little blue jeans.”
scheduling conflicts and the album was
still an on/off project.
Ronstadt and Harris had wanted to
meet Parton after having recorded some
of her songs. When the three met, they
hit it off immediately and have become
friends. Parton was concerned that Har
ris and Ronstadt might pui her down
for the way she looks—for her gaudy
rhinestone outfits, the blonde teased wigs,
the five-inch heels, the heavy make-up.
She was afraid that Johnny Carson and
Barbara Walters would put her down
Jor the same thing. Bul they didn't—and
Jew others have. People apparently see
beyond the ostentatious appearance. “1
don't think it takes people long to know
I'm not ignorant," she хаух.
But Parton felt that without her props,
й would have taken her longer to attract
a broad audience, so, nol one for waiting,
she did what she could to promote her-
self. In so doing, she became the exag-
geralion that Bette Midler is trying lo
be and that Mae West was. Parton is the
incarnation of West in certain ways: She
doesn't show much, but she hints at a lot;
she pokes fun at herself and makes a
fortune at the jokes; she knows what she
wants and she won't let anything inter-
fere with her becoming as big a star as
she can possibly become.
“I think there is due a person like Elvis,
a female, which there has never been. A
person with magnetism and charisma to
Аташ people to her. And your next ques-
tion: Do I think it is me?”
Parton has come a long
Tennessee mountain home; she was born
in а Locust Ridge “holler” in Sevier
County in the Smoky Mountain foothills
on January 19, 1916. The fourth of 12
children, she was the first in her family
to finish high school, the first lo become
1 never had a doubt 1 would
she reasons, “because refusing
to think I couldn't make it is the reason
1 could."
Fer Parton, making it meant getting
out of the backwoods and into the lime-
light. Her rise was rapid: She began
wriling songs al. seven, recording them
and singing on the Cas Walker radio and
television show at ten, making her first
appearance at the Grand Ole Opry at 12.
The day after she graduated from high
school, she left with her uncle, Bill
Owens, for Nashville to become a star.
That same day she met, and within two
years married, an asphalt worker named
Carl Dean. Dean is a publicityshy,
earthy тап who is as independent as
Dolly and the two seem lo have a solid,
often ata-distance relationship. She's on
the road most of the year and he's at
home working their land.
When country singer Norma Jean,
who sang with Porter Wagoner on the
tond and on his syndicated TV show,
vay from her
EX Bh. up
PHOTOGRAPHY EY HARRY LANGOON
“I learned about the facts of life in the
barn. We had uncles and cousins that
were maybe two or three years older than
us that knew a lot of stuff... . And soon
as we gota chance, we'd try it.
81
PLAYBOY
82
decided to quit and get married in 1967,
Wagoner asked Dolly if she'd like to join
his show. Overnight, her salary rose from
пехі to nothing to $60,000 a year and, at
21, she had achieved one of her goals: a
broad and popular audience.
Although she and Wagoner became
hugely successful and their duo albums
sold well, she became restless and made
a decision to go oul on the road with
members of her family, It proved to be
almost disastrous, She and her Travelin’
Family Band went from state fair to
rodeo to high school gymnasium ama-
teurishly managed and poorly booked.
Making her most painful decision to
date, she told her family it wasn’t work-
ing out and took time off to put together
а more professional band. She also hired
а Los Angeles-based manager and public-
relations firm, who saw enormous poten-
tial in this energetic and prolific woman.
By then, she was ready lo “cross over"
into the pop/rock world. Her albums
were popular in Japan, France, Australia
and England (where she was twice named
Female Vocalist of the Year) and she
coproduced her own album, “New Har-
vest" She followed that with her “new
sound”: “Here You Come Again,” which
recently went platinum, more than quad-
rupled the sales of many of her earlier
albums.
With 20th Century-Fox offering her a
three-movie deal, publishers bidding jor
the novel she's writing, her aulobiogra-
phy in the works, TV network executives
trying to line her up for specials and
record albums starting to sell in the
millions, pLAvBoY decided to send free-
lance wriler Lawrence Grobel 10 talk with
Dolly and see how it all happened and
how it has affected he)
Grobel, who previously interviewed
Henry Winkler and Barbra Streisand for
PLAYBOY, began the interview in Los
Angeles and then joined Dolly at the be-
ginning of her six-month nationwide
road Lour. His report:
“Fue met busy people before, but in
Dolly's case, her scheduling is extreme,
Her energy matches her ambition, which
is limitless. If she's not wriling or record-
ing her own songs, she's recording with
Linda and Emmylou, rehearsing with her
band, taping а TV show, throwing a
wedding for her younger sister, giving a
concert for ABC-vadio executives in Las
Vegas or touring.
“I managed lo pin her down for five
hours in an apartment she rents in Los
Angel The first thing 1 noticed was
how sparse it was; nothing plush or com-
fortable, no indication that а siar lived
there, obviously a place used for little
more than sleeping. The only bit of
eccentricity was а small, low, round
trampolin, which she said she used after
giving up on jumping rope, ‘for a couple
of good reasons?
Dolly wasn't born with a voice like
Streisand's, but what she has is an enor-
mously infectious personality. To meet
her is to immediately like her. Although
she appears larger than life, she is actu-
ally a compact woman—dazling in ap-
pearance; but if you took away the wig
and the Frederick's of Hollywood five-
inch heels, she'd stand just five feet tall.
Of course, her height isn’t the first thing
one nolices upon meeting her. As she
herself kids onstage, ‘I know that you-all
brought your binoculars to see me; bul
what you didn't realize is you don't need
binoculars”
“The next time I saw Dolly was in
Winchester, Virginia, where she was
scheduled to appear at the Apple Blos-
som Festival. By then, it was as if we
were old and trusting friends and I soon
discovered that she was the least hung-up
celebrity I've ever been with. She was
open, honest and only rarely asked 10 go
off the record; and even then, it was on
matters such as being unsatisfied with a
particular dress designer or not wanting
1o dwell too much on godly topics. When
it came to her personal life, her dreams,
her ambitions, she never hesitated.
“One litile girl who had written to
Dolly came to visit her after a show.
Dolly was in a nightdress and greeted
the child as her father took Polaroid
pictures. Bul the picture Pll always re-
member was of the father telling his wife
to take a shot of him behind Dolly. He
had this crazy gleam in his eyes, his
tongue popped out of his mouth and 1
was sure he was going to сор a feel. But
he restrained himself, as most people do
around her, Because she is so open and
unparanoid, she manages to tame the
wildest instincts of men.
“Our last night together stretched out
until morning. We talked [rom ten т.м.
until five AM, exchanging stories and
not in the least bit tired. By the time we
hugged goodbye, I was saddened that
we were talked ош. Our talk is what
follows . . . though it does take а while
to get over Dolly's appearance.”
PLAYBOY: Hello, Dolly.
PARTON: Hi. ГЇЇ save you the trouble of
askin’: Why do I choose to look so
outrageous?
PLAYBOY: Is that the first question inter-
viewers usu
Tha
pout.
PLAYBOY: Actually, that was going to be
our second question, We were going to
start with the PLAynoy cover. It's pretty
eye-catching. Was it fun?
PARTON: I was afraid at first, when we
talked about it. I didn't want to be
naked or something on the front of a
magazine unless everybody knew it was
a joke. I mean, I wouldn't want to be
naked even then. It might not offend
me, but 1 was afr be a lot of
my country fans and some of the people
who love me who are of a reli)
nature might not understand.
Пу ask you?
s what we usually end up
People will make jokes and things,
not because of my beauty but just be-
cause of that physical thing that's built
around my boobs. I didn't know if I
wanted to be put in a category of where
I was flaunting something 1 had never
flaunted before, Then 1 thought, lt isn't
something 1 should be ashamed of.
PLAYBOY'S a real classy magazine. And I
mean, who else but Dolly Parton should
be on the cover of rLavnov? If you
wanted an outrageous person to be an
outrageous magazine cover, who else? I
just hope people will take it in the spirit
in which I did it—you know, some
cute and off-the-wall for me.
PLAYBOY: OK. Now, why do you choose
to look so outrageous?
PARTON: People have thought I'd be a
lot farther along in this business if 1
essed more stylish and didn't wear all
this gaudy getup. Record companies
have tried to change me. I just refused.
И 1 am going to look like this, 1 must
have had a reason. It's this: If 1 can't
make it on my talent, then I don't want
to do it I have to look the way I choose
to look, and this is what I've chos
makes me different а litle bit,
t what we all want to do: be a little
nt?
It's [un for me. It's like a little kid.
playing with her paints and colors. I
like to sit and tease my hair. If there's
something new on the market in make-
up, 1 like to try it. You've got to have a
gimmick. You've got to have something
that will catch the суе and hold the
attention of the public. But the funny
thing is, no matter how much I try new
stuff, I wind up looking just the same.
PLAYBOY: Do you think you'll become а
fashion tr Isn't there already
a Dolly Ра 1
PARTON: [Laughing] Can you imagine
ng to look this way for
n people first get to know me
‚ "Why do you w
alter a week of knowing me, they
totally understand. They know it's just
a bunch of baloney, But why not? Life's
boring enough, it makes you try to spice
it up. I guess I just throw on a little
too much spice.
PLAYBOY: Why are there so many Dolly
Parton look-alike contests?
PARTON: Because they're fun. Who would
be better to impersonate than Dolly
Parton? All you gotta do is get a big
blonde wig, make-up, and if you're
pretty well proporuoned . . . or you can
even fake it. The best parts of Dolly
Parton look-al
dressed up like gir
do me.
PLAYBOY:
winners?
PARTON: I sure have. They were the big
gest bunch of pigs I ever saw, most of
them. I thought to myself, Is that how
people think ] look? 1 thought, Oh,
Lord, some of them were in worse shape
contests are guys
Is so easy to
Have you ever met any of the
Ladies Choice
Women can't keep their eyes — апа their hands — off of guys who wear Angels Flight™
Small wonder. Nothing in years has made men look as good.
The fit is so snug and provocative — it's downright sinful.
The feel is positively sensual. The silhouette started the disco look.
The material is dressy gabardine —a welcome relief from jeans, but at about the same price.
So give yourself a competitive edge —get into Angels Flight™ pants, vests and blazers.
Chances are, you'll have to fight the girls off.
PLAYBOY
84
n I even thought I was. Гуе only
seen two that would суеп be classified
s а human being.
PLAYBOY: So you don't think they've ever
been able to imitate the real, sexy you?
PARTON: Listen, I never thought of my-
self as béing a sex symbol. It never
crossed my mind that anybody might
think I was sexy.
: But surely
d
e to be
ter all the
you.
PARTON: I didn't say what you-all
thought. I said that it never once crossed
my mind, even now. I still can't get it
through my head that people think I'm
supposed to be sexy or somethin’. 1
don't want that responsibility. I don't.
want to have to keep up an lik
that. I don't want to have to be like
а beautiful woman, like Raquel
Welch—which is no trouble, I never
would anyway. I'm just sayin’ I wouldn't
want people to look at me and if I
gained ten pounds, theyd say, "Oh
God, she's ruined her looks." I'm made
up of many things. I'm very complex. I
have much more depth than just my
looks, which to me are not all that hot,
y way. I've always looked a certain way
and had an image. I like the big hairdo,
the gaudy clothes. e's not much
sexy about tl not usually
turned on by
always been like that.
PLAYBOY: If that’s true, why do you sup-
pose there's such a huge cosmetic i
dustry in this country
PARTON: I'm talking about my kind—the
big wigs, the total artificial look, I don't
try to dress in style or to be really classy.
I've got my work to do and I like to look
good, but I don't try to keep an image
other than just this gimmick appearance
that 1 have. If I was trying to really
impress men or be totally sexy, then I
would dress differently
PLAYBOY: How would you look?
PARTON: 1 would wear low-cut things.
Iry to keep my weight down. Try to
really work on my body. I would find a
new, softer, sexier hair style—it would
be my own hair, some way. But why
bother? I'm ady married and he
don't mind how I look. He likes me
gaudy or ungaudy.
PLAYBOY: When were you first аш
to gaudiness?
PARTON: | was always fascinated with
make-up. We didn't have any when I
grew up. We weren't allowed to wear it.
But we used to have this medicine, what
you call Merthiolate, that's what I
would put on my lips as a little kid. Га
paint my lips and there was nothin"
Daddy could do. He couldn't rub it off.
He would say, "Get that lipstick off
you!” And I'd say, "It won't come off,
it's my natural coloring, Daddy." Then
he'd say, “Bull” When we wanted cye-
brows, we'd get burned matches and
1 looks and I've
ted.
When I was a
the teases
make little eyebrows.
sophomore in high school,
came into style and I started dı
er since, I've done it. And 1
wore my skirts so tight I could. hardly
wiggle in them. I liked tight sweaters. I
just like tight clothes, I always did.
1 just like to feel things next to me,
I guess. Even before | had a figure, I
liked my clothes snug and tight. People
would always kid me in school about my
little butt and my litle blue jeans or
whatever, Momma, she always under-
stood stult like that. She'd say, "Don't
get them so tight you can't move in
them, where they cut your wind oll.
But she'd seam them up and if they
weren't quite tight enough, Fd say,
“Won't you fix them a litle right. in
here?” And she would. See, she was a
daughter of a preacher and when she
was a child, they wouldn't let her wear
ny makeup. They all had long hair
then 1 she wanted her hair cut. Th
ver! t her and Daddy got m:
ried, hair oll and she kept
it short ever She said,
then that when I had kids, I would not
“People will always talk
and make jokes about my
. But why dwell
on that? Why don't they look
underneath the breasts, at
the heart?”
bosoms.
make ‘em do th
casy with
ings that they were un-
PLAYBO'
What did you
your tight clothes?
PARTON: Daddy didn't like us to wi
real tight clothes back at the start. He
was more strict with us, he just didn't
understand how to be a father. A father
of girls, especially. He just didn't want
us to date. He trusted us, but hc didn't
trust the guys we was goin’ with.
PLAYBOY. You must have looked more
mature than a lot of your Classmates
when you were a girl.
PARTON: Well, I looked more mature, I
was more matu T used my mind in
different ways. I developed my mind by
nking deep and planning
father think of
T thought serious. 1
looked as old as the teach When I
was in high school, I looked like I was
s old.
Was the fact that you were
physically more developed than the other
girls a problem for you? Were you teased
much?
PARTON: It was always a problem, to
degree. But I had а real open personal-
nk I was teased openly; it
a” behind
ot real, she's got
was more what people w
my back: “No, they’
Kleenex in th
PLAYBOY: Did that bother you?
PARTON: It was kind of embarrassing. but
must not have bothered me too much.
I'm a real obvious person 1 the things
you see are obvious. But my body is not
Пу as extreme as people make it out
to be. Гат just a small, tiny, little per
son, five feet tall. with a small frame. I
have plenty, but it's not like what people
say: "Oh. gosh. she must be 45 inches.”
I'm not nowhere near it, you know.
PLAYBOY: Whiy е you always refused to
disclose your me:
PARTON: Thi ist no point. I'm nor
sayin’ it’s not there. A dot of people
claim, "I remember when you wasn't
that b And I say, “Yeah,
remember when 1 wasn't this fat, to
Im not that well endowed. Im not as
huge as people make me out as being. I
really ain't, 1 mean, if you look real
good ... I've got plenty, but I know a
lot of people that are so big it's un-
healthy, it hurts their back, 1 ' so
extreme, if 1 didn't have some. I would
sure have made some, But from the time
1 just a young girl they've been
there.
Some book said I had my bust lifted
derbî Hospital. Well, 1 never
en doctored at Vanderbilt. Hos.
People will alw
jokes about my Боо
t you
з. When somebody
says that this doctor claims he did it, I
always t plastic surgeons are all
alike, they're always making mountains
out of molchills. But, no, 1 didn't o to
Vanderbilt Hospital. And. Id. «т
my secrets. But a lot of people that know
me would know the difference. We won't
which that goes. So we will
just leave the people wondering. But
wh
dwell on that? Why don't they look
underneath the breasts, at the heart?
PLAYBOY: All right. How would you de
scribe yourself to someone who had
never seen or he:
PARTON: Well, dd start by
that I pride myself on being a fair and
honest person. | am free and open
enough to be able to try new things. Im
outrageous. 1 feel like I have a lot of
saying
y am-
Tm
ious. I can be strong when I n
d weak when I want to be.
tell you where to put it if | dı
where you got it. l'm not a у у
person. 1 don’t fall into great states of
depression. Very sentimental and highly
emotional. I'm a baby when it comes to
bein’ a baby. I like to be spoiled and
petted. I get touched r
curious, I have to know everything tha
goes on. I'm not a hrillia
nt person, but
a
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PLAYBOY
88
I have a lot of guts, I just don't have а
fear of life. I love life, so why should I
fear somethin’ I love? And why should
I not reach out to the things that J know
I can touch? I'm strong-willed. I can
think like a workingman because 1 know
what a workingman goes through. I'm a
person you could sit down with even if
you were a total stranger and tell me the
thing you thought was the most horrible
thing and I would understand it. And 1
wouldn't tell. I'm a good friend. I'm
loyal and devoted to the things that I
believe іп... . I'm full of shit!
PLAYBOY: That's quite a description.
Now, how would you assess your talent?
PARTON: I like to be appreciated as a
writer and, if not a great singer, at least
a stylist and an original, creative person.
PARTON: I don't think so. My manager
just hates me to say that, because he says
it's not truc. I don't have a great voice.
I have a different voice and | can do
things with it that a lot of people can't.
But it's.so delicate in other ways, there's
no way I can do some of the things
other singers can.
I just love to sing. It is joyful, it's
something I can scream, it's a release for
me. I used to have а lot of vibrato
in my voice. It could almost be re:
irritating to a lot of people's cars. It
was a natural thing for me, but some
people say, "You sound like you been
eating billy goat.” Bah, bah. I guess I
overdone it, so I tried to learn at takin’
some of the vi о out. ] would like to
prove my voice to be able to hit bet-
ter notes. My notes are not always truc.
But my heart is always truc. And the
emotion I put in is always truc.
PLAYBOY: Do you listen to yourself often?
PARTON: No, never. Unless I'm in the
studio uyin to decide what goes in the
à not necessarily a fan of my
own. ot one of my favorite singers.
PLAYBOY: Is it truc that your husband
doesn’t like your
PARTON: He didn't used to, but he's be-
come a real big fan of mine now. I
played ¢ Пит, Heartbreaker,
and he really liked it.
PLAYBOY: Does that mean a lot to you?
PARTON: It means more than anybody
could ever know.
PLAYBOY: You and Carl е been
ried 12 years and no one’s ever seen а
picture of the two of you together. Why
the mystery?
PARTON: He just don't have any desire to
be in show business. He don't want to
have his picture in the paper. He don't
want to go out to the supermarket and
have people say, "That's Dolly Parton's
husband." There's been a lot of dis-
torted press about how 1 only sce him
six weeks a year, which is not truc. It’s
true that Пам year 1 was only at home
about six weeks, but he joined me on
the road a lot,
ging?
nar-
PLAYBOY: Is he as shy and bashful as the
press makes him out to be?
PARTON: No. He's just the funniest, wit-
tiest guy in the world. He's really bright.
He's not backward at all. I just really
wish that people would let him be. He's
а homelovin' person. He works outside,
he's got his tractor and his grader, he
keeps our farm in order. He wouldn't
have to work no more, because I'm mak-
ing good moncy now, but he gets up every
morning at daylight. If he ain't woi
on our place, he'll take a few jobs, 1
e
ding somebody's driveway or clean-
1g off somebody's property, to pick up
a couple of hundred bucks, He likes his
own money to horse-trade with.
PLAYBOY: Do people say anything to him
about Dolly Parton's husband grading
their driveway?
PARTON: Oh, sure; he don't give a shit.
He don't go up and say, “Hey, I'm
Dolly Parton's husband, can ] grade
your drive?” If somebody knows it, he
don't make a big thing of it: hell play
it down, he'll say, "Well, I ain't in show
at can I
Hell, she
business, 1 got to work, now wi
do for
you?” Or hell say,
"I used to have a lot
of vibrato in my voice.
Tt wasa natural thing
forme, but some people
say, ‘You sound like you
been eating billy goat.”
n't makin’ no money.” He's a man
with a lot of pride; even though my
money is his money, his money is mine.
PLAYBOY: W is it about him that
attracted you?
PARTON: His honesty. His decency. His
earthiness. I like the way he loves me.
His understanding of me and the things
1 do. The way he lets me be free, And
lets me be me. He don't try to choke
me and demand anything from me.
PLAYBOY: Does he ever give you advice
about your career?
PARTON: He never interferes with me
businesswise. Thats why 1 hire man-
agers. Carl and I only talk about our
own things. We talk about what we're
gonna do with the house, the [arm. Or
he м: see uck he's rebuilt.
He's 1 ue boy. But he's like my
‚ like a brother. And I'm all those
ngs to him. 1 call addy.
PLAYBOY: What does all you?
PARTON: When he's talking to other
people, he says "the old lady" or "she."
Or He never says Dolly,
never. And if he docs, it hurts my feel-
a's so bad—aint that crazy? If I say
zy wo
Carl, he won't even react. He hates me
to call him Сагі. He'll say, “Call me son
of a bitch, call me anythin’, but don't
call me Carl" That's what everybody
calls him, so it's not personal enougl
PLAYBOY: Is he a jealous person?
PARTON: Not a bit,
PLAYBOY: Are you?
PARTON: I'm not, either.
PLAYBOY: Would it matter if he were sec-
ing someone else while you were away?
PARTON: He's not.
PLAYBOY: If he were, would you want to
know?
PARTON: No, I wouldn't want to know
and he wouldn't want to tell me. But if
he did, it wouldn't be like the 1 of
the world for me. 1 would just say it was
as much my fault as his. 1 would prob-
ably ay and pout for a day for thc
attention of it, and then it would be
over. To me, life is life and people is
people. You cannot control every emo-
tion that you have.
PLAYBOY: How would he feel if you had
an айай?
PARTON: The same way. He wouldn't
ant to know. I think I would keep it
from him. He would be more apt to tell
than me. He knows 1 ain't goin’ no-
where. No matter who 1 met or what
kind of an affair I might ever have, ain't
nobody in this world could take Carl's
place. t no way in this world
Га ever lose this man.
PLAYBOY: Someone on the road as much
25 you are could sleep around a lot
PARTON: How do you know I don't?
PLAYBOY: Because you speak so freely
and guilulessly about your relationship
Carl You'd have to really be a
good actress to cover up a lot of aflairs.
PARTON: Oh, 1 am. 1 guess men think
they can get away with it or somethin’,
That all depends on the person. I just
feel wi for the goose is fair for
the gander. Whether 1 do or whether I
don't is my concern. If I was ever weak
enough to do something like that, it
would never involve him, he would never
know it, he would never {cel any ейссїз
from it. Those are very personal ques-
ns and I'm a very private person, but
I'm just like you—you don't always tell
everything, do you? Let's put it this way:
H 1 wanted to do it, I would; if 1 should
do it, it would allect nobody but me
and the person volved. Maybe it
would be somethin’ that would even
make me be a happier person,
But couldn't it also lead to
your life?
PARTON: Well, kiss me, we'll sce,
PLAYBOY: This is what's known as an
awkward pause.
PARTON: ‘There are a few people t I
have been attracted to real strong, but I
avoid that. There is no way in heaven's
name that I could ever leave Carl, so
why should I put myself and another
person through that kind of torment?
PLAYBOY: It sounds Jike marriage at a
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PLAYBOY
90
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PARTON: It is. We're so used to the life
style, if I'm home two or three weeks, 1
want to get to work and he wants to get
back to work, so he's just as anxious to
see me go as I am to leave, It probably
don't make much sense, but it makes
sense to us.
PLAYBOY: When you атс home, do you
entertain much
PARTON: When I'm home, we don't like
people at the house other than our
family and our own friends. We dont
want fans comin' in our yard. And
there's no artist in thc business that is
any more devoted and loves their fans
more than me. I've always tried to bı
long to the public when I'm out ther
nd Ive always tried to be honest
enough with them to say, "I don't want
you to come up to the house unless
you've been invited, because I may be
up there half-naked.” I shouldn't have
said that: they'll probably be comin’ up
to take pictures now. That's why we
bought a piece of property where we
could have the privacy to get out in
the yard in shorts or looking tacky.
PLAYBOY: How tacky?
PARTON: Tacky-tacky
looking like anybody.
PLAYBOY: Is privacy a problem?
PARTON: We do have fans that jump the
fence. That's not a very polite thing 10
do, but I don't get bent out of shape
over it. I just figure if it’s that important
to somebody, least you can do is try
to be nice
PLAYBOY: When you're performing, are
your fans rowdy
PARTON: It is getting so now the crowds
are getting wilder and there are a lot of
younger people and a lot of pushing
and shoving. Some people get overex
cited. They can run over a kid and bust
his brains out or somethi without
meaning to. It is kind of (rightenin,
But they are the most devoted fans,
standing there, rain or snow, freczing to
death. It is amazing.
PLAYBOY: Are audiences different in dit
lerent parts of the country?
PARTON: It's pretty much the same in
every part of the country, except Texas
Texas audiences are the loudest and
most responsive, They are just fun-lovin
people all the time. Texans are in
world of their own. It's a great place
lor music.
PLAYBOY: What about fan m:
ever get any letters that n
sidered strange?
PARTON: I used to get letters from а man
who was in a mental institution. He was
a big fan but just distorted. It was more
perverted than anything else. 1 kept
those. J get a lot of mail [rom prisoners
and usually they are very nice letters
Sometimes they get a litle horny
PLAYBOY: Have you had any difficulties
getting your fans to accept your new
Are there diehard country music
no make-
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buffs who can't accept your crossing over
into the pop/rock field?
PARTON: We had some of that when I
started, when J first got the bigger band
and started doin’ more rocky things.
Some people hollered, “Do your coun-
try, we don't need your rock ‘n’ roll." I
don't do rock ^n' roll. I knew what I
was tryin’ to do and I didn't have time
to try to explain it to them.
I have not changed be
and I never will. The only thing success
does to you, like Barbra Streisand said in
her Playboy Interview, it just don't allow
you to be alone anymore. Everybody is
tryin’ to get to you. It just gets to the
point where people demand so much
from you you just can’t give it and you
have to take all kinds of hurts and in-
sults. It bothers you, Of all things. for
somebody to say that I've changed, that
just burns me up.
PLAYBOY: But your music has changed to
some degree. Didn't you say that your
Here You Come Again album is slicker
than you wanted it to sound?
PARTON: Well, you see.
thing that I did after I made the change
and it was not exactly
mind. But it proved to be the smartest
thing. I knew Here You Come Again
would be a hit song, but 1 don't know
if I should be identified with it, because
irs so smooth and pop-sounding. That's
such a good song a monkey could have
made it a hit, Well, you're looking at a
million-dol monkey,
PLAYBOY: Do you feel that in order to
reach a larger audience you have to
sweeten or smooth out your soun
PARTON: Yeah, here and there. I was
kind of afraid that people would think,
Boy. this is too drastic. I just didn't want
the country people to think that I total-
ly left them. That was such a polished
pop sound! But it was the biggest coun-
uy record I ever had, as well.
PLAYBOY: Are you close to most of your
band members?
PARTON: I'm close to all the people in
my band. I'm not above them just be-
cause I am the star. They are not sid
men to me. We are all musicians making
a living for each other. The way w
travel, I couldn't work with a bunch of
loonies, a bunch of squirrels. I don't
mind drugs, I don't mind drinkin' in my
group as long as it don't interfere with
my show. We're together 24 hours a day,
but that one hour onstage is
That's what I pay for. I don't care what
you do after the show, I don't care what
you do until four or five hours before
the show. As long as everybody is
straight, so if I want communication
when we're onstage, I have it
PLAYBOY: And you feel you're close to
that now?
PARTON: Mv group is pretty clean. Sce,
I live with the band, I travel with ‘em,
I don't like to separate myself Irom my
group. In summertime, we take our bar-
ause of success,
that was the first
what I had in
min
becue grill and travel by bus. We only
fly when we have to.
ping at a truck stop or a restaurant, we
get a volleyball net out, we stop along
the side of the road and have а picnic. I
cook, there's another girl in my group.
we have a real good time. We have water
fights, cake fights, food fights . . — like
brats. Its like family. When the day
comes when I can't enjoy it or there's
no fun doin’ it
Rather than stop-
there's lots of things
that I can find joy in, and I would
PLAYBOY: You once toured with members
of your own family. What happened to
your Travelin’ Family Band?
PARTON: There was a lot of hurt caused
by some press. They made it sound like
Thad fired my family. I did not fire my
family. I had
cousins in my group and 1 was really
havin’ to go through things 1 shouldn't
have—poor
brothers and sisters and
ighting, poor sound, poor
management, poor everything. I just
decided I was goin’ to quit lor a few
days, just stop everything and do some
thinkin’, Because I won't let somethin’
run
I can
and the
to а psychiatrist or to а doctor;
of my ngs. me
talk it over. 1
brought up religious and even if Fm not
a fanatic, 1 have a communication with
1. which helps me like a psychiatrist
might help somebody else.
PLAYBOY: Were either of
musically talented?
PARTON: All of my momma's people were
sing And a lot of
my daddy's people were really involved
in music. But it was just around home
and in church: had ever done
anything as far as making any money
with it. I was the that ever
became popular doin’ it, but there's а
lot of 'em a lot more talented than me.
I just had this grit and all these dreams
and plans.
PLAYBOY: Do you resemble vour mother?
PARTON: I look like her and my daddy,
too. Daddy's people are fair and blond
and blue-eyed. My momma's people
have а lot of Indian blood, so they're
€ Care own tli
Lord can was
our parents
у p
"s, writers, musicians,
nobody
t onc
dark, with hi; cheekbones and real
dark hair. I have Momma's features:
Momma's smile, dimples; but I have
Daddy's nose. Т got Daddy's pride and
determination and 1 got Momma's per
sonality. My momma's people and my
daddy's people grew up as good friends,
that’s how they met, so there's a lot of
marriages between the Partons а
Owenses. In the mountains, there's. not
that many people, so most. people are
related on one side or the other, and
then they marry in, which makes vou all
kinfolks. I first.
first second cousins, stuff like that.
PLAYBOY: What is a double first cousir
PARTON: Let me see if I can explain it.
My mother's mother's sister married my
daddy's brother. So their kids are my
first—second?—cousins. It likc
I'm my own grandpa, don't it? Anyway,
ad the
have double cousins,
sounds
you can figure it out later, However it
is, we got some double first cousins and
first second cousins. That kind of thing.
Who can tell about mountain people?
PLAYBOY: Did you go to school with all
your relatives?
PARTON: We lived in the mountains and
there were very few people lived where
we did, way back in the holler; our
closest neighbors were a long ways off.
We walked a long way to school, a one-
woman school that had the first through
the cighth grade. Only like 10 or 15
people in the whole school and one
teacher. The grades were in rows: There
might be two kids in the first grade,
three in the second, one in the third . . .
and so the teacher would just take a
chair and sit in the aisle and the other
kids had to study. I was the first one in
our family that went to high school. My
daddy didn't particularly want me to go
to school, my momma didn't care. In
the mountains, schoolin’ is not that
important.
PLAYBOY: How did you know it was
important?
PARTON: I wanted to finish high school
just so I could say I did, because I knew
I'd learn things there that I would prob-
ably need to know, because 1 had al-
ready decided I was going out into the
world, 1 was the most popular girl in
school but in the wrong way. I wore
tight clothes and told dirty jokes.
I never failed a subject, but I was
never a good student. I never studied,
I just used my own common sense to get
by. I wanted to take band so I could
bring my grades up. I didn't want to
play horn or anything 1 had to really
learn, so I asked if I could play the
drums. 1 never did learn to read a note
of music. I got like 98 in band, which
brought up my other grades at the end
of the semester. But I didn't play well.
1 didn't know what I was dı
PLAYBOY: Did you like school?
PARTON: I hated it. Even to this day,
when I see a school bus, it's just Че
pressing to me. I think, Those poor little
kids having to sit there in the summer
days, staring out the window. It’s hot
and sweaty in the schoolroom. It re-
minds me of every feelin’ and every
emotion that I had in school. I'd hate to
have to make my own kids go to school.
I know that sounds terrible. A lot of
people will say, "What a dumb person."
І hated school every day I went, but it
was better than stayin’ home every day.
Momma was sick a lot; we had some
real hard times.
PLAYBOY: What were those hard times
like?
PARTON: Momma had kids all the time—
she had one on her and one in her. She
was always pregnant, and the time she
wasn't pregnant, she was just really run-
down sick, and back then, you didn't
have doctors that much. Momma took
spinal meningitis once. The doctor said
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there was no way she could live, only
one person in a thousand did live, and
if she did live, she'd be crippled up.
He told Daddy and my grandma she
wouldn't live through the night. So they
had church that night and they prayed
all night. They packed Momma in ice,
her fever was way past where it would
do brain damage, and the next mornin',
when the doctor came in, Momma was
sittin’ up in bed, kickin’ her foot—
Momma always kicked her foot, like I do,
it's a rhythm thing. The doctor came in
and she said, “I've been healed.” And
he said, “You sure have been healed,
there's been a miracle happened here.”
They never could explain it. The only
thing it did to Momma, it left her deaf
in one ear, which just made her talk
louder.
PLAYBOY: How old were you at that time?
PARTON: Eleven, twelve.
PLAYBOY: Were there other illnesses at
home?
PARTON: One time, Momma had a mis-
carriage. It vas really scary. We were all
little. She started having this miscar-
riage . . . and she would always read
the Bible; she'd be in bed and sing
sacred songs—that was real depressing.
We always knew when Momma was bad
sick, she would do that. It was during
school, my first year. The way we got to
school was we walked to this green barn.
The man who owned that property had
some bulls and they were mean. We had
to walk along the fence row to get to
school, and if the bulls would start out
for us, we'd just roll under the fence.
Anyway, Momma was at home with the
two younger kids, they were just, like,
two and three years old. Momma knew
she was gonna die if somebody didn't do
somethin' for her. So she told my little
brother and sister what they had to do:
"Now, you get your stick and go to the
schoolhouse and get the kids, because
Momma's sick. You take the stick and
walk along the fence and if the bulls
start after you, just roll under the fence
or just hit "em with the stick." Here was
these little kids, it was really sad. It was
a long way, even for us. And these two
little kids must have took forever. We
were in the middle of class and these two
little kids . . . it was just so sad, there's
a lot of things that almost make you cry.
My little brother stuttered a lot and
he couldn't talk good. The other kid
couldn't even talk at all yet. But my
older sister, Willadene, knew what was
up when she saw them there. She jumped
up and grabbed the rest of us and said,
"Lets go, Momma's sick.” So we just
all ran home. My two older brothers had
to run and find somebody to help us. At
the time, we had some neighbors that
didn't like us. We'd had a feud—it was
kinda like the Hatfields and the McCoys.
But they were good that time; it was
just God's will, 1 guess.
PLAYBOY: What was the feud about?
PARTON: "These people that lived near
us, they had big kids and they were just
mean. In the country, you're just born
mean. They would whip us every day as
we walked to school, hit us with rocks.
Daddy made us another path through
the woods where we could go to school
and avoid 'em. They got to where they
would meet us on the trail and still beat
us up. Well, Daddy just got tired of it.
He just went to the people and told
them, "I'm gonna kill somebody if your
kids don't stop beatin' my kids up." It
started from that and then it got all the
older people involved. My daddy and
brothers got in a fight with these people
and Daddy whupped about five grown
people in that one family. So it was a
real bad thing, we couldn't go by their
house—they had dogs and theyd let
them loosc on us if we had to walk that
way. But when Momma was near dyin',
we just had nowhere else to go, which
goes to show you there is good in every-
body. These two women came and they
ran out to the main road, which was a
long, long way, and they had to track
“I hated school. Even to
this day, when I see a school
bus, it's just depressing
to me. I think, Those poor
little kids."
Daddy down. Daddy was workin' at a
sawmill somewhere.
PLAYBOY: And then what happened?
PARTON: There was only two funeral
homes in Sevierville, which was the near-
est town to us. The funeral home that
we didn't even belong to, they come to
get Momma. It was just a bloody mess.
We didn't have sheets on our beds;
Momma would always just sew up rags.
I remember seeing these people coming
in these white jackets and this stretcher
with these snow-white sheets, and you
could see it a mile away. We just ran
behind the house, cryin’ and prayin'
that Momma wouldn't die.
PLAYBOY: Did you understand death
then?
PARTON: We understood that it was final.
When Momma had spinal meningitis,
she was pregnant and all the effects went
to the baby she was carrying. When it
was born, it only lived nine hours. It
was the first time I'd ever seen my daddy
e always looked forward to the ba-
bies born. A lot of people thought we
were crazy. Even our relatives. I remem-
ber when my little brother died, 1 heard
somebody say at the funeral home, and it
stuck with me forever, "It's a blessing
the little thing died." As if we didn't
need any more kids. I thought, What a
cruel thing to say, because we waited
for each baby. It was like a joy. And
there were so many of us Momma would
say, "Now, this one's gonna bc yours."
And we kinda took care of it; it was like
a new baby doll. With Momma being
at the hospital and Daddy having to be
with her a lot, ve were by ourselves and
was just a real hard, depressed time.
PLAYBOY: What kind of man is your
father?
PARTON: Daddy never had an education,
but he is the smartest man I ever knew.
There was never a time when Daddy
didn't know what to do. My daddy used
to make moonshine when he and Mom-
ma were first married. He got out ol
because Momma didn't like it, but that’s
just the way of life in the country. That's
revenue money. If somebody's gonna
drink it, somebody's got to sell it.
PLAYBOY: Did you ever drink it?
PARTON: No, I never did drink moon-
shine. I tasted it. It tasted terrible. It's
not a really good drink. I mean, you'd
have to want it real bad to drink that
stuff.
PLAYBOY: Did your parents discipline
you a lot?
PARTON: Momma was so lenient, she just
practically grew up with us. He was
strict, he kept us in line. If he was mad,
he whipped us with his belt. He didn't
beat us, but hed whip us hard. We'd
have to go get a switch and they were
pretty good-sized ones. I don't remember
ever getting whupped with a board; I
remember getting whupped with a stick
of stove wood once.
PLAYBOY: Did you have a lot of child-
hood fantasies?
PARTON: We didn't have television and
we didn't have radio. We didn't have
electricity. Every now and then, if we
could afford a battery—we had a battery
radio—we'd listen to The Grand Ole
Opry and The Lone Ranger maybe once
or twice a week.
But we'd see catalogs—the wishbook,
Momma called it. Made you wish you
had things you didn't have. I wanted
fancy clothes, I wanted jewelry, І want-
ed to be pretty.
We related to the Bible a lot, lots of
stories we played out were from the
Bible. We were Disciples and we would
paint on our feet these sandals, and then
we found these staffs and we just roamed
those hills as shepherds. We played out
Jacob and Joseph and the coat of many
colors. I wrote a song once . . . my favor-
ite story was the coat of many colors.
So that was kind of a fantasy we lived
in. We didn't have books to read, except
at school, and we tried not to read those.
PLAYBOY: Did you see magazines or news-
papers at all?
PARTON: We'd hear about war stories
and about famous people, movie stars.
Sometimes my aunt in Knoxville would
bring newspapers up, which we used for
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Mules laden with Blue Maguey pinas on their way to Cuervo's La Rojeña plant.
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toilet paper. But before we used it, we'd
look at the pictures. And we'd hear about
people who would get rich and you'd
have all the food you wanted to eat and
fancy clothes and houses. In our minds,
there was so many of us, anybody that
had a clean house was rich.
PLAYBOY: When did you first use a flush
toilet?
PARTON: My aunt in Knoxville had a
toilet in the bathroom and we were so
fascinated. We were afraid to use it. I
just thought it was goin’ to suck us right
down. She also had the first television
we ever saw.
PLAYBOY: What about bathing?
PARTON: Funny, I was just thinkin’ how
nobody has ever asked me about how we
bathed or how ме... you know, be-
cause we didn't have.
PLAYBOY: Toilets and facilities?
PARTON: Yes. We made our own soap
and in the summertime, we'd go to the
river. That was like a big bath. And we'd
all go in swimming and we'd wash our
hair, wash each other's hair. Soap was
just flowin’ down the river and we were
so dirty we left a ring around the Little
Pigeon River.
PLAYBOY: What did you do in the winter?
PARTON: In the wintertime, we just had
a pan of water and we'd wash down as
far as possible, and we'd wash up as far
as possible. Then, when somebody'd
clear the room, we'd wash possible.
PLAYBOY: How often did you bathe in
the winter?
PARTON: I had to take a bath every night
t0 be clean, 'cause the kids peed on me
every night and we all slept three or four
in a bed. As soon as I'd go to bed, the
kids would wet on me. That was the only
warm thing we knew in the wintertime.
That was our most pleasure—to get peed
on. If you could just not fan the cover.
If you kept the air out from under the
cover, the pee didn’t get so cold. When
you started fanning that cover, then it
got bad, cold. Lord, it was as cold in
the room where we slept as it was out-
side. We'd bundle up to go to bed.
PLAYBOY: When you bathed in the river,
was it in the nude?
PARTON: We were real modest as kids.
The boys would go swimmin' naked and
the girls, sometimes we would, but we
didn't go naked swimmin' together. As
soon as you started sproutin' at all, you
put on a shirt and you didn't take it off.
I never did see Momma and Daddy
naked. I'm glad I didn't.
PLAYBOY: Did your parents teach you the
fact of life or did you learn them in
school?
PARTON: It's somethin’ I learned in the
barn. [Laughs] 1 probably shouldn't say
this, but it's just the truth: We were al-
ways just findin out things on our own.
We had uncles and cousins that were
maybe two or three years older than us
that knew a lot of stuff. When they
would come to visit us, they'd teach us
all kinds of meanness or tell us about
this or that. And soon as we got a chance,
we'd try it.
PLAYBOY: Are we talking about sexual
things?
PARTON: Now, what were you talkin"
about?
PLAYBOY: Just making sure.
PARTON: We were real curious. A lot of
people won't admit it, but I just always
had an open mind about sex. We all did.
It was not a vulgar thing. We didn't
know what we were doin', we just knew
we weren't supposed to let Momma and
Daddy know it. You never imagine your
parents ever-
PLAYBOY: With 12 kids, they obviously
did.
PARTON: Yeah. A lot of people say,
"Well, how in the world could you live
in a house with 12 kids and never hear
things?” I don't know how they did it
or where, but we never did know nothin’
about it. But they must have done it.
PLAYBOY; So your mother never ex-
plained where all you kids came from?
PARTON: Momma always told us early
that God was responsible for people
havin' babies. I don't even know how I
learned it. I learned real early. I think І
probably knew it before Momma did.
[Laughs] She learned when she was
about 15 and I don't think she knew
what was goin' on until she done had
four kids. I was just so open-minded that
I found out. If somebody wouldn't tell
me, I'd ask the first person I thought
I could ask.
PLAYBOY: What were the kinds of things
you were asking? Where it comes from?
Does it feel good? Does it hurt?
PARTON: Yeah. We just never did have
a bunch of hang-ups. Momma never said,
"Oh, don't do this, you'll go to hell.
She didn't say do it, either. She didn't
say. Daddy would have probably blis-
tered our rear ends if he'd caught us
foolin’ around. We would just play doc-
tor and nurse, just explore and experi-
ment.
PLAYBOY: What about those guys who
used to beat you all up—your neigh-
bors—did they ever sexually abuse any
of you?
PARTON: No. That's why they beat us
up—because we wouldn't do anything.
[Laughs] We didn't want to do it with
them. I mean, we were choosy! But we
never got sexually jumped or anything
by them.
PLAYBOY: What was your first sexual ex-
perience like?
PARTON: I always loved sex. I never had
a bad experience with it. I was just very
emotional. I felt that I could show my
emotion just like I show my emotion
with words. If I felt I wanted to share
an emotion, then I did. To me, sex was
not dirty. It was somethin’ very intimate
and very real. І don't ever remember
НАМЕ. Inc.
°
101
PLAYBOY
102
bein’ afraid of it. I wasn't afraid the first
time I tried it.
PLAYBOY: How old were you the first
time?
PARTON: Now, I can't tell you that, be-
cause that would probably be real per-
verted. As little kids, we were always
experimenting.
PLAYBOY: Well, you seem to have had a
healthy childhood. Did you share your
dreams of being a star with your parents?
PARTON: Yeah. I started writing songs
before J went to school. Momma always
wrote down stuff that I'd make up. I just
had a gift of writing. I'd hear my people
talk about relatives’ bein’ killed and I
would make up all these heartbreakin’
songs about it. They'd forget they'd
talked about it and they couldn't imagine
where I would come up with all these
ideas. I just knew how to put it into
story form. And Momma would write
them down.
PLAYBOY: When did you start singing on
the radio?
PARTON: I had an uncle that told me
there was this radio show in Knoxville
and that sometime he might take me
down there and I might get to be on it.
I wanted to do that. So, when I was ten
years old, I sung on the radio. And they
all liked me real good, so they wanted
me to work in the summer months. They
said they'd pay me $20 a week. My aunt
in Knoxville said she would take me up
to the radio stations and the TV shows
if Momme and Daddy would let me stay,
and she did. I worked there in the sum-
mers until I was 18. I went from $20 a
week to S60 when I left.
PLAYBOY: What kinds of songs were you
singing?
PARTON: I sung country music, some songs
I wrote. І was singing by myself and
playing the guitar. But I guess it was be-
cause I was a little kid they were sayin’
people liked it. I wasn't that good.
PLAYBOY: Were any of your songs record-
ed then?
PARTON: I made my first record when 1
was around 11.
PLAYBOY: And when did you make your
first appearance at the Opry?
PARTON: I was just a kid, 12 or 13. My
uncle told the man at The Grand Ole
Opry that I wanted to be on. The man
said, "You can't be on The Grand Ole
Opry, you are not in the union." And 1
said, "What is a union?" I didn't know
if it was a costume or a room to practice
or what. I kept tellin’ everybody. I said
ТЇЇ just sing one song. Most of the artists
at the Opry at that time had two spots.
Nobody would let me sing and 1 walked
up to Jimmy C. Newman, who was goin’
to sing next, and told him I wanted to
be on. He told Johnny Cash that I was
goin’ to sing. And so Johnny Cash
brought me out and I sung and I just
tore the house down. I had to sing it
over and over and over. 1 thought 1 was
a star. That was my first time.
PLAYBOY: How did vou fec
PARTON: I was kind of scared, but I was
excited, Daddy and
Momma were listenin’ on the radio. 1
didn't grasp all what it meant, but I
knew I had to be on The Grand Ole
Opry, that is all there was.
PLAYBOY: Were you always encouraged to
be whatever you wanted to be?
PARTON: Where I came from, people never
dreamed of venturing out. They just
lived and died there, Grew up with fami-
lies and a few of them went to Detroit
and Ohio to work in the graveyards and
the car factories, But I'm talkin’ about
venturing out into areas that we didn't
understand, To me, a litle kid coming
from where 1 did and having that ambi
tion and savin' I wanted to be a star,
people would say "Well, it’s good to
daydream, but don't get carried away."
People would say you can't do this or
you can't become this. Well, if you don't
think you will do it, nobody else will
think it.
Ive got more confidence than I do
talent, I think. I think confidence is the
of success, I really do.
Just belicvin' you can do it. You can
e it to the point where it can be
come reality. When I made my change
to do what I'm doin’ now to appeal to
a broader audience, people said,
because I knew
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can't do that, because you are goin’ to
wreck your whole career; you are goin’
to lose your country fans and you're not
goin’ to win the others, and then you're
goin’ to have noth You just better
think about that, "Та didn't mat-
ter to me, because I knew I had to do
itand I knew I could do it.
PLAYBOY: What other kinds of things
could you do as an entertainer?
PARTON: I don't think there's a
I can't do. Under the right с
could just about do anything. Even à
Broadway pla i
al where I didn't have to be a
nd-type singer or have a beat
ined voice. If it was so
t have that kind of con-
fidence in themselves.
PLAYBOY: Have you scen many Broadway
plays?
PARTON: I've never seen a Broadway
play . . . I've never been to an opera . . .
T've never seen a live stage performance.
1 guess I'
PLAYBOY: But you have been to the mov-
ies and you may be doing three films.
PARTON: I never wanted to be in the
movies. I have never done any acting at
all, never thought Td be particularly
good at it. But the people at 20th
Century-Fox really feel like I can be, or
that I am, а natural actress. When they
approached me, all I said was, “I don’t
not very classy.
know if 1 can or can't, but if you think
Т can and you want to take th:
ru € it with you." It's as
that. Can you imagine me bein
tress? But а lot of people are interested.
dy Gallin, my manager, is making a
hellacious deal, but no one knows if I
can do it at all.
re you planning on
ing lessons?
PARTON: No. They're just goin' to find a
script where I can play my true personal-
ity, rather than tryin' to play like some
girl from Australia. It’s goin’ to have
to be Dolly Parton without bein’ Dolly
Parton. I'm goin’ to write my own story,
but it's not time yet. "There's so much to
my life that I can write a series of things,
if I want. I can take a subject and make
a full-length movie, if 1 want to do th
PLAYBOY: Have you any properties
mind?
PARTON: No. I've been asked to do the
Mae West story. 1 don't know that much
about Mae West. A lot of people have
often compared me to her . . . not our
looks or not just the way we seem to be
built or anything, but our attitudes, you
know. We were both creative and we
knew what we wanted and we pretty
much rolled into the things we did. And
they say she pretty much wrote every-
thing she'd done. I've never seen her.
Also, somebody felt I should do the
Marilyn Monroe story. I don't think I
ng
n
want to play somebody else, I think I'm
a character mysell—for mc to try to play
somebody else's character woukl not be
as wise as for me to create one of my
own.
PLAYBOY: Do you have any directors you
might go to?
PARTON: To be honest, I never thought
about bein' in the movies enough to get
that far along with that. I'm not really
volved in who does what. I don’t
know who the directors or pro-
ducers are, They say that if you've got
the right director, that anybody can act.
It’s all kind of new, this movie thing.
I've met a few people, but I can't remem-
ber their names.
PLAYBOY: How about screenwriters, say
someone like Ncil Simon?
PARTON: "That is who I wish would write
somethin’ for me. I saw The Goodbye
Girl and that’s the type of thing that
I see myself in. It's got depth, it’s a
comedy, it's got love . . . it just reminded
me of the way I would react under the
same conditions. You know, crazy and
stupid, tryin’ to make the best out of a
situation. I'm even goin’ to call my
i ably farfetched. . . .
Neil Simon may not even have an inter-
cst in me, period. But 1 can see myself
doin’ the type of things he writes.
PLAYBOY: What about Woody Allen?
PARTON: I love Woody Allen. I think he's
sexy. He is so cute that he is sexy. I
103
go with the depth and that turns me on
sexually.
PLAYBOY: Would you
Woody Allen movie?
PARTON: Yes, if he'd be in it with me.
T loved Annie Hall and I loved The
Goodbye Girl, and Гог the same reasons,
because they were both very realistic—
funny, serious, even the bad times were
ike to be in a
PLAYBOY
good. Maybe we'll team Woody and Neil
up and they cm do somethin’ really
great,
PLAYBOY: Do you have any favorite
movies?
PARTON: My favorite movie of all times
is Doctor Zhivago. I've always liked mov-
ics with lots of production in them, espe-
cially things that were true, like The Ten
Commandments.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever seen a porno
mov
PARTON: Yes, I have. Once, this secretary
that worked in one of our offices, her
husband had nt of a real awful one.
Td never seen anything up until that
time, I always wanted to, but | didn't
want anybody to know I was doin’ it.
She brought it to work and she brought
the projector. When everybody left for
lunch, she said, "Why don't we all
watch?” Because none of us had ever
seen one. We got to watchin’ that thing
nd we got so embarrassed with cach
other. Tt, of course, moved you, but it
was real embarrassing. And it got real
gross, too.
Another time, I saw опе in a pul
place. My girlfriend and me went to
New York. This was a long time ago, E
was about 21, and I wasn't that recog-
nized. We had always wanted to see a
real one. We thought it would be somc-
thin’ dirty enough to enjoy. We tried to
sneak in when nobody would sce. There
somethin’ real shameful about goin’
thei
so we went.
that theater,
PLAYBOY: Where wits it
PARTON: I don't know; it was down in
one of them slum areas. We just got а
cab, it was a Friday night, and this terri-
but we dared each other to do it,
It had an awful smell in
in there. It was mostly men, a couple of
women alone, no couples. Me and my
girlfriend was sittin’ in the back, so we
were goin’ to make a quick exit if we
needed to, and then this movie came on.
It looked OK for a few minutes, and all
of a sudden, it got into the most gross
things, | didn't know how to react and
she didn't, either. We were emi sed
in front of each other, we didn't know
whether to look or not. We were so curi-
ous we couldn't keep from lookin’. I
didn't know how to react with her. If I
had Carl there or somethin’, we might
have got down to business. So we ran
out and we started runnin’, so nobody
104 would know where we came from, At
that time, we didn't know that prosti-
tutes ran in pairs New York City for
protection. And there is no way in the
world that you catch a cab on a
Friday night in New York City. We
didn't know that.
All of a sudden, these men started ap-
proachin' us on the street. They thought
we were up for sale. You can imagine
how ridiculous I looked. I would look
like a streetwalker if you didn't know
this was image. 1 would look like a
total whore, I suppose. Im sure we
looked just like what they thought we
wi Bur I had û gun. I never traveled
without a gun, still don't. 1 always carry
a gun,
PLAYBOY: What kind?
PARTON: A .38 pistol I have a permit
for it in Nashville. I just carry it for
protection. I feel safer when Гуе got it.
I just don't like the idea of knowin’ I'm
totally helpless. I'm always scared in a
big city and New York was totally foreign
to us, Anyhow, these men would ap-
proach us and Td say we're from out
of town. We didn’t understand why they
were after us. I said we were waitin’ on a
a gun. A 38
pistol. I have a permit for
“I always car
it in Nashville... .I just
don't like the idea of
knowin’ I’m totally
helpless."
cab and weren't interested, but thanks
for the compliment. [Laughing]
I was doin’ all the talkin’, be
girlfriend always knew I'd get u
any ion, and she started laughin’
at me. That made me mad, because I was
so scared! This one man came at me а
he was really pullin’ at me, he was try
to handle me, just maul me, the whole
works, I told him, “Just get away and
don't bother me anymore.” He kept
yin’, "Oh, come on, honey, I know you
want iL" He was offerin’ us money and
I said, "Look, I don't know what it i
we are not interested. we arc not on the
we are tryin’ to get home, don't
you understand that?" There I was, with
my big Southern accent and my big wig.
He just thought if he bargained long
enough that ГА give in. He kept pullin”
at me and I was getting furious and I
was cussin’ him, and I don't cuss t
much, I was sayin’, "You son of a bitch,
you dirty b j
is not like me at all, but I was terrified,
and I was mad, too, because I can't stand
people who pull at me unless I want to
be pulled at. And my girlfriend was
шайы the wall, dyin’ laughing. We
se my
out of
nd
could have both been raped or killed,
but she was gettin’ such a kick, because
she'd never seen this side of me before.
ious at her and I told her,
or I'm gonna beat the shit out of you,
nd I got my gun out of my
pocketbook. I told the man, “If you put
your me one more time, 1
swear to I will shoot you.” And
I would have. I wouldn't have shot him
in the stomach or nothin’, I would have
shot his feet off or shot at the ground.
My girlfriend was just hollerin’, laugh-
in’ and, boy, I told her when we got rid.
n, “If you ever do that to me а
swear to you I may not whup your ass,
but ТЇЇ be caught dead ауіп" [Laugh-
ing] She never did quit laughin’, she just
thought that was the funniest thing she'd
ever seen, We headed out to a porno
movie and it wound up bein’ a comedy.
PLAYBOY: Was that your first time in New
York?
PARTON: It was, and for years T thought
I hated New York City for that very г
son. Since then, it has become one of my
very favorite cities: I go back all the time,
there's great people there. It's just that
then 1 didn't understand them and they
sure didn't understand me.
PLAYBOY: Now t u've had your
about New York, lers try Los Angeles.
You've been spending a lot of time out
there lately. Do you like it there?
PARTON: It's beautiful and it’s exciting. E
reilly enjoy it for a week. After that,
I go L.A. crazy. I just got to get out of
there, it's so crazy and wild, especially
the places I have to be and the people
I have to be around when I'm out there;
most of them are so spaced out or just
involved in all sorts of weird things, even
the people you work with, especially
show people. I just have to get away from
them. I get homesick. The country in me
says, “WI in the world are you doin”
walkin’ on concrete when you could be
rollin’ in the grass?
PLAYBOY: Let's get to the country in you.
Do you get insulted when people put
down country music?
PARTON: Terribly insulted. Saying some
thin’ about country music is like sa.
somethin’ about a brother or
my momma and daddy. Bec
made me a livin’, it is someth I love
and appreciate. I know what it stands
for, I know what it is. It is a music to
be respected.
PLAYBOY: What is it about country music
that attracts people?
PARTON: It’s the simplicity of it. it is
everyday stories about everyday people.
It deals with human emotions, human
relationships: it is love and heartbreak
and fun things and honky-tonk . . . the
way that the truck drivers and the aver-
age middle-class American lives.
‘Then, too, country music through tele-
vision and radio started getting broader.
When country started gettin’ on TV,
sister or
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people realized that we are not just hill-
billies and hicks, toe jam and bare feet—
we only go barefooted ‘cause we want to,
not ‘cause we can't do no better. To me,
it’s the greatest music because it does
deal with life, with people, and it deals
with simple sounds. If it is done right,
it is the best music there is.
PLAYBOY: What would you say is the dif-
ference between country singing and pop
or rock singing?
PARTON: There i:
in quality, а cer-
tain pu es. They
sound plainer, countrier, more blunt.
They don't do a lot of screams and
squalls.
PLAYBOY: Are you more prolific as a song-
writer than most?
PARTON: Ys. It's
just a natural gift. I
like to write and I write all the time.
Туе written less in the last year and a
half, but even at that, I've written more
than most writers do. It's just so easy.
I've got hundreds and hundreds of songs,
thousands, actually, I've had а few hun-
dred published and recorded. The good
thing about it is this: I've been writin’
all these years, if I never wrote another
song, I've got it made. People are goin’
back now and gettin’ songs of mine and
recordin’ them, things I did on albums
years ago. Of course, I still will write.
Its like most people will sit down and
smoke a pipe, I just sit down and pick
up a piece of paper... .
PLAYBOY: Do you write in longhand?
PARTON: Yeah, I scribble; nobody can
read it but me, hardly. I write on torn
paper, Kleenex boxes, napkins. I wrote
Coat of Many Colors on the bus. It's my
most famous song. I was with Porter and
he had some clothes cleaned and I took
the tickets off of his cleanin' bags and
wrote the song on them. After the song
became a hit, he had the tickets framed.
PLAYBOY: What's the biggest song that
you've had recorded?
PARTON: Jolene was the biggest hit I've
had. Jt was also recorded by Olivia
Newton-John. I also had a song called
I Will Always Love You, which Linda
Ronstadt recorded. I've had tons of
songs and albums recorded by other
people. But I've yet to have that bi,
smash, 1,000,000-selling song of my own.
I've had lots of number-one songs, but
when you get involved in how much
they sell, re to get a 1,000,000 seller.
PLAYBOY: Is most of what you write auto-
biographical?
PARTON: Everything I write is not about
me. You have to be able to te to the
things you write about, but you don’t
have to live them personally.
PLAYBOY: One of your songs, Bargain
Store, in which you compare your body
to used merchandise, was banned by
some radio stations. Were you surprised?
PARTON: I was in total shock, 'cause I
never meant nothin’ dirty in that song.
In It’s All Wrong, but 105 All Right, Y
106 really did. 1 meant for it to be what it
was. You know, what people call makin’
love to somebody you're not married to.
With lyrics like, "Hello, are you free
tonight?/I like your looks, I love your
smile; /could I use you for a while?" Just
how plain can I be? But I thought the
times would laugh at that. But there was
some question about it. Even in this day
and time, when you can say everything,
country music is a little bit more delicate
and I respect that.
PLAYBOY: What do you feel when you're
performing your songs onstage?
PARTON: ] just get real excited onstage,
because I love to sing and perform, It
takes me about three hours to come
down. Your openin' tune is usually the
one you get off on if you're goin’ to get
off. Sometimes I get so excited over a
certain moment onstage, | could just
swear that it’s the same thing as sex. . . .
Music is the closest thing to it to me.
PLAYBOY: Do you have any ideas about
how you might change the kinds of shows
you perform now?
PARION: J would want to be more bi-
zarre as time goes om. I would like to
have a screen behind me onstage when 1
“Saying somethin’ about
country music is like saying
somethin’ about a brother or
sister or my momma an d
daddy... . It isa music
to be respected.”
do the songs and tell the stories of the
I'm havin' some people even now be-
gin to film things from the mountains,
like the tobaccaspittin' contest, the
greased-hog contest and the horse-turd-
throwin’ contest that they have in Ken-
tucky every year. That's a real occasion,
the Annual Kentucky Horse Turd
Throwin' Contest. Can you imagine get-
tin’ crowned Horse Turd Queen of the
day? They probably make a crown out of
horse turds. I'm not tryin’ to be dirty, I
swear that's what they call it. An audi-
ence would love to scc that, because
they've never seen it. I'd like to |
that onstage, narrate the happenings,
then have the music. I just have a lot of
cı wild ideas and some of these days
Im gonna get them all together and
hope somebody don’t steal them. And if
you do, you're a sorry son of a bitch!
PLAYBOY: Where do you see your career
at the moment?
PARTON: Most people say in this business
the life span of a career is five years
from the time you really get hot to the
time you start getting colder, like an El-
ton John, Maybe I shouldn't call names.
‘That's just what I heard, that you don't
expect to really be the hottest except for
maybe five years, and with a ‘TV show,
t's usually a three-to-five-year thing, and
then you cool off, people have seen what
you do. I think maybe I am right now
starting in my first year of from one to
five. That's what I'd like to th:
PLAYBOY: Since we're on the subject of
names, let's get your opinion of some of
your contemporaries. We'll start with the
an you thi the true queen of
country music, Kitty Wells.
PARTON: She was the first extremely pop-
ular female country singer. She was like
a pioncer for all the rest of us. She sold
all kinds of records to soldiers апа juke-
boxes and honky-tonks. She is such a
natural, pure and authentic singer. She
sings from the heart and she don’t worry
about what the noise is goin’ to sound
like.
PLAYBOY: Johnny Cash?
PARTON: Johnny is dramatic. I don't
think Johnny is a good singer, but I
think he is one of those people that is
so believable that people can relate tc
He's got a way of delive you just
know that it had to happen if Johnny
said so.
PLAYBOY: Loretta Lynn?
PARTON: Sings with a lot of human emo-
tion and country emotion, a lot of purity
and honesty in her voice. Similar to
Cash's—not the greatest voice
ve ever heard, but it’s believable.
PLAYBOY: Her
PARTON: A beautiful voice. Crystal clear,
if you'll pardon the expression.
PLAYBOY: Tanya Tucker?
PARTON: If she cver gets with the right
producer and the right label and gets
the right manager, 1 think she can really
be great, especially as a rock-n-roll sing-
er. Her voice is so powerful, like a Janis
Joplin or a Linda Ronstadt. . . | She
Could really be a huge artist, because she
is great on the stage.
PLAYBOY: Janis Joplin?
Her voice was like mine, you
ed it or you . 1 never par-
ed for it. It was different.
e what she left behind
ticularly
But I do appre
in the world of music.
PLAYBOY: Linda Ronstadt?
PARTON: She is one of the greatest female
voices I ever hi
PLAYBOY: What's happening with the al-
bum the three of you are doing? The
release date keeps being postponed. Is it
finished?
PARTON: We've done several tracks, but
we haven't decided whether or not to do
more acoustic things or do some rock
things. Any time you get three people,
with three different labels and three dif-
ferent managers, there's always compli-
ns. But it's somethin’ we've always
писа to do. We have talked about it
here's a mu-
tion among the
for years. We are friend:
tual respect and admi
three of us, IL it was a matter of business,
it would have been a rush release. We
want it to be free and happy, a labor of
love. There is а possibility it will never
reach the market. I personally feel it
would be a shame and a waste of talent
if business and personal problems pre-
vented it from being released.
PLAYBOY: How did you get to know Linda
and Emmylou?
PARTON: Through my music. They were
fans of mine. I had heard that they want-
ed ао meet me, and so we made it a
point to do that, and then we became
friends. I met Emmy first, when she
came to Nashville. She һай recorded
Coat of Many Colors. When I came back
to L.A., she invited me to her house.
Linda was invited over to supper that
night and that’s how we met.
PLAYBOY: Did you ever mect Elvis?
PARTON: No, I never did. But I always
felt that we were kin. I feel like I know
exactly how he was. Every time he'd
come in town. even if I was home, 1 just
wouldn't go, somethin’ always kept me
from goin’. There were other people I
liked to hear sing better, but there was
nobody that I ever related to more,
PLAYBOY: What was it about liim you re-
lated to?
PARTON: He was very loving. very emo-
tional, very sensitive, very giving, very
humble, thankful, grateful. I always felt
that he was totally in awe of his own
success and he didn't quite understand
why he had been so chosen and why he
was such an idol. How he felt about God
and religion was always somethin' I re-
lated to а lot, because 1 know he was
brought up with his mother in the
Assembly of God. It was a real free-
spirited, shoutin’ church. 1 watched and
heard how he reacted to Gospel. music
and how he loved that the best of all and
how he almost seemed to feel he
callin’ to do somethin’ different and may-
be more spiritual than what he actually
was doin’, but you know, he never got
a chance to try. He touched people's
lives а lot of ways. He was the sex
symbol of the world and when he started
gainin’ weight and gettin’ fat, he lost a
lot of his glamor to а lot of people. I
always thought his manager was brilliant,
as well. They built that mystery up about
him. When he started losin’ his glamor
and doin’ those concerts, he became more
ordinary. That's when they started pub-
lishing all the things about him. Then
people realized that he was not a god of
any sort, but he was just an extraordi-
nary human bein’. 1 think if he hadn't
died when he did, within the next five
years he wouldn't have been a hero at
all, because he was talked about too
much . . . seen too much. That's how
cruel the public can be.
PLAYBOY: Do you think that there will
be another Elvis, or someone of his
Why now,
more than ever
we can ask,
. Jsitliveor .
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107
stature, to come along?
PARTON: I don't think it will be soon, I
don't think it will be anythin' you and
me will ever see.
PLAYBOY: What about a female Elvis?
PARTON: That is possible. I think there
is due a person, a female, which there
has never been. A person of that type,
with that great magnetism and that great
mysterious thing, that great love, that
charisma and magic to draw people to
her, that can help people in many ways
just through her music. Yes, I think that
а female is due, I do. And your nes
question: Do I think it is me?
PLAYBOY: You're the one smiling,
PARTON: Well, let me say, I would never
be an Elvis, and I would never want to
be Elvis. But I would like to be a person
truly loved enough to be able to have
that much of an impact on people as far
as bein’ able to guide them or help them
or let them sce that you're caring.
PLAYBOY: Your mother has said that she
always expected you to lead people to
the Lord. Do you think that someday
that might happen—besides just singi
PLAYBOY
le. My mother and many pcople
have always said that they saw the love
of God in me. I expect that someday, in
some way, before I die, ГЇЇ have done
some good for God. who I think has done
all the good in me thats ever been
done. I think that people for years have
passed God right up, looked right past
Him, thinkin’ that He was some great
monster in the sky and that you had to
live with these horrible guilt feclin's and
you had to crawl under a bed if you'd
done somethin’ wrong. 1 have a totally
different concept of God. I'm God-fear-
but I'm not afraid of God. The м
I look at God is, I think He means some-
thin’ different to everybody. We arc all
God's children, if we just clear a way for
Him to work through us. You don't have
to be standin’ in a church house to reach
people to change their lives to do good.
1 don't want to get so involved in this
that people think, Oh, another country
music fanatic, because I'm not a fan
never was. If I need to make a decisi
or somethin’, I just talk out loud to God.
I joke with God. He don't ever say
nothin’ back.
PLAYBOY: Do you go to church?
PARTON: No, not anymore. Carl and I
are probably afraid we'll become total
ch ns and then well... I don't
know. I always want to go home when
they're havin’ a revival, though. Some-
day, when I have some time off, I
want to go back to the house and stay
home for a couple of months, spend the
summer, work the fields and go to the
orchards, can apples and peaches—do
stult like I used to. And if th
a revival, I'll go. I'll get upand s
PLAYBOY: You first became па
108 prominent as part of a tcam with Porter
Wagoncr. Tell us about your relation-
ship with him.
PARTON: Porter has bcen one of the
greatest and most popular country artists
of all times. 1 can never take the credit
away from Porter for givin’ me a big
break. I learned a lot from him. He
spired me and 1 inspired him. We were
good for each other in y ways and
just a disaster for cach other in a lot of
"ways. ГЇЇ always love him in my own way.
PLAYBOY: In what ways did your working
together become a disaster?
PARTON: We just got to where we argued.
nd quarreled about personal things.
we had no business quarreling
nd arguing about. It was beginning to
ly good relationship. We
long very well, but no more
mine. We were just a lot
fault thai
alike. Both
PLAYBOY: He has said that for two years
he devoted 95 percent of his time to you
and then he didn't hear from you for a
year. He sounds bitter.
PARTON: I'm sure he is bitter at this
—
"Tm havin’ some people
begin to film things from
the mountains, like the
tobacca-spittin’ contest
and the horse-turd-throwin’
contest that they have in
Kentucky every year.”
) 7
point. He is so strongheaded
led, he won't accept things
sometimes the way they are. I won't,
either, sometimes. We're kind of involved
in some legal things, I'm tryin’ to buy my
part of the catalog back, where ГЇЇ have
all my songs back together. Someday Т
hope we can be friends. We are not ene-
mies. We just don't ever see each other.
PLAYBOY: How much money was Porter
paying you?
PARTON: The years I was with Porter, I
worked for $300 a night, which is
other reason I needed to get out on my
own: I needed to make more money.
PLAYBOY: "That was how much a ycar?
PARTON: Sixty thousand dollars a year.
I started from no money at all and that
sounded like a fol of money to me. And
it was. But why should 1 work for hun-
dreds and thousands when I can work for
hundreds of thousands?
PLAYBOY: How much a night did you
make when you worked on your own,
after leaving Porter?
PARTON: When I went out on my own, T
was working for $2500, then it got up to
$3000, and now I have no idea. It is
ay up in the thousands.
PLAYBOY: Is it around 530,000?
PARTON: I don't know exactly how much
I make; I would say anywhere from
515,000 up a night now. I know I got
530.000 for some shows Гус done re-
cently. And I was offered $50,000 to do
a special show, but for some reason, I
didn't do it. That's the most I've been
offered at this point, I think.
PLAYBOY: How many businesses do you
own?
PARTON: Quite а few. I own three pub-
lishing companies. I’m startin’ a produc-
tion company. I own quite a bit of
property. I have the Dolly doll, for
which we own the company. We have
program books, colorin’ books, souvenir
things of that type. I have lots of invest-
ments, lots of tax shelters. Гуе got some
good smart business people now. I have
some really wild dreams and plans. I
love to hear crazy ideas. I'm goin"
to have a linc of wigs, I think that would
be a perfect business for me.
PLAYBOY: We've been m.
about your wigs. /
synthetic?
ning to ask
те they real hair or
mthetic. They never lose their
PLAYBOY: Loretta Lynn has said that
while most singers aren't particular in
the dressing room, you always go behind
а little curtain to dress. She says nobody
has ever scen you without a wig on.
PARTON: Lorctta has seen my own hair.
I think she forgot or just wanted to make
a bigger thing than it was. Maybe she
just didn’t recognize it as bein’ my own
hair. My own hair is blonde. I keep it
- ЕИ eventually wear my own
fain, once I become so successful
that people know you сап become suc-
cessful by lookin’ and bein’ any way you
want to if you've got enough ambition
and talent. A lot of people have ap-
proached me in a way that sounded like
I was supposed to dress and undress in
in front of peopl
they would want to look,
curiosity, I gu pcople do
does not bothe t all. 1 only wish
that what I do wouldn't bother them.
PLAYBOY: Let's wind this up by asking
you some random questions. If you could
go back in time and be someone else
for a while, who would you like to be?
PARTON: That's not а random question,
thats а great question! Гус never
thought about that in my life... . I
think, maybe, Will Rogers. He reminds
me of my own people and of myself.
PLAYBOY: What if you could invite any
five people from history to a dinner
party—whom would you choose?
PARTON: Will Rogers would be my main
guest. Beethoven. Bob Hope. Strother
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PLAYBOY
Martin. Festus, from Gunsmoke.
What would you serve them?
PARTON: Fricd potatoes and green beans,
countrystyle creamed corn, corn bread
and to beans and turnip
greens, meat loaf, I'd probably make up
a vanilla pudding. I'd have to fix Bee-
thoven a chef's salad. I don't think he'd
want all that grease.
PLAYBOY: What's your favorite food?
PARTON: Potatoes. I'm a starch freak. I'm
а junk-food person, too. I like pizza, po-
tato chips, Fritos. My main weakness is
overeating. Now it's beginning to dawn
on me that I have a weight problem and
I have to learn to control it some way. I
am getting approached for so many
things, for movies, for the PLAYHoY cover.
So I'm on a dict
t you once on a liquid-
which lately has bec
proved to be dangerous?
PARTON: I did that and I lost 23 pounds.
Fat persons don't care if they dic tryin’
to get it off. [Laughs]
PLAYBOY: Are you attracted to thin or
to muscular men?
PARTON: Гус always been more attracted
to real slender men. My husband is
skinny as a rail, and tall. They say that
you usually will be attracted to the oppo-
site of yourself.
PLAYBOY: Is i
for you?
PARTON: It’s not hard, ‘cause all you got
to do is make up the gaudiest thing you
can make, Just pile as much мий that
don't belong on it as you can and I'll
like it.
PLAYBOY: How many rooms of clothing
do you have?
PARTON: I've got clothes in the closets
of every room in my house—23 rooms.
One whole wing of my house is filled
with costumes and al clothes.
PLAYBOY: And you sometimes shop at
ederick's of Hollywood?
PARTON: I buy my shoes there; it's the
only place І can find shoes high enough
and sexy enough to suit me. I buy thou-
sands of dollars of shoes every year. I
an't wear their clothes, because I can't
buy clothes off a rack.
PLAYBOY: Do you support the Equal
Rights Amendment?
hard to design clothes
PARTON: Equal rights? I love every-
body...
PLAYBOY: We mean equal rights for
women.
PARTON: I can’t keep up with it.
PLAYBOY: Do you read any books on the
women’s movement?
PARTON: Never have. I know so little
about it they'd probably be ashamed
that | was а woman. Everybody should
be free: И you don't want to stay home,
get out and do somethin’; if you want to
stay home, stay home and be
PLAYBOY: Do you ha:
authors?
PARTON: J don't read that much. I prob-
по ably should be ashamed to say that, I
read mostly articles and things I'm
terested in. E always liked Agatha Chri
tie, but I never did read all that many of
her things. I like books like The Magic
of Believing. Positive-thinking books,
self-improvement books. Long before I
knew there were books about that stuff,
that was my philosophy of life.
PLAYBOY: What about politics?
PARTON: I hate to say this and people
probably think I'm real dumb to do it,
but 1 am so involved in my work and my
music I don't even know what's goin’
on in the world. I don't even know
who the Vice-President is. Well, I do
know . . . but as far as gettin’ po
involved, it's like bein’ denomi
If you're a Democrat, the Republicans
hate you; if you're a member of one
church, then the other ones hate you.
Every denomination thinks they're the
only ones gettin’ to heaven and they feel
sorry for the other denominations. I think
we can all get there if we work right.
PLAYBOY: Moving right along . . . has
sex changed for you over the years?
PARTON: Sex? Yes, it gets better. The rea-
son it gets better is because you get more
"I never met Elvis. I always
felt that we were kin.I
feel like I know exactly
how he was. . .. He touched
people’s lives ina lot
of ways.”
—
mature, you're more relaxed, you experi-
ence more things until you become more
comfortable with them. and then you
{eel also comfortable to experience new
things, totally new and different things.
It takes you a while to trust somebody
enough to be able to tell your fantasi
PLAYBOY: How strong are your fantasies?
PARTON: Pretty strong. But I think all
creative people and highly emotional
people have strong fantasies.
PLAYBOY: What are some of yours?
PARTON: I'm not tellin’ you all that
stuf. . . . Get over here and ГЇЇ show
you. [Laughs] Are you perverted?
PLAYBOY: Why? Are you sexually aggres-
sive?
PARTON: I'm very aggressive. I don't mind
bein’ the aggressor if it comes to some-
thin' I need or want
PLAYBOY: Do you like dangerous sex?
PARTON: Nothin' better than sex when
you think you have to sneak it.
PLAYBOY: Now for the big question: Do
you sleep in the nude?
PARTON: It has just been the last couple
of years that I've really started. sleepin"
naked. Sometimes I sleep naked with
Carl and sometimes I don't, If I'm up
writin’ and I have on a robe, I'll write
until I fall asleep and crawl into bed. If
we go to bed together, I usually go naked
But I have to have a cover on me, sum-
mer or winter. I can't stand just a sheet.
PLAYBOY: How would someone who had
written something get a song to you?
PARTON: Do you mcan to tell me that
we've spent all these days and hot
went through all this horseshit just so
you could pitch me a song?
PLAYBOY: You're a funny lady. Is it true
you used to flirt with local disc jockeys
when you'd appear in various towns?
PARTON: Either my life is a total flirt
or I'm not a flirt. Î just go in with open
ms and open heart. I'm just using my
personality. But the only ones | ever
flirted with were the ones I was attracted
to. Can't say I never flirted with one,
but I never flirted with one to get my
record played.
PLAYBOY: And what about all the crotica
you used to write as a teenager? You
claimed you were very horny.
PARTON: All teenagers are horny, some
just keep it hid better than others. I'm
itin' a story even now; it's pretty hot
and heavy. It's got a lot of sex and love
and violence and religion, all the human
elements.
PLAYBOY: Will you shock a lot of people?
PARTON: Yeah; that's why I ain't puttin’
them out today or the day after tomorrow.
When I decide to publish some of my
hooks, I'm goin’ to write in the front
that those who think they might be of-
fended, don't read them. Then, if you
are offended, don't blame me, because
now Fm not just a singer but also a
writer; and as a writer, I have to have
freedom of total expression.
PLAYBOY: Would you use а pseudonym?
PARTON: I want to do everythin’ under
ny own name, ‘cause when Î go down in
history, I want to go down good and
solid.
PLAYBOY: They could put that on your
tombstone: Good and solid.
PARTON: I don't want a tombstone. I
want to live forever, They say a dreamer
lives forever. . . . I want to be more than
just an ordinary star. I want to be a fa-
mous writer, а famous singer, а famous
entertainer; I want to be a movie writ-
cr; І want to do music movies, do chil-
dren's stories; I want to be somebody
important in time: I want to be some-
body that left somethin’ good behind for
somebody else to enjoy.
Everybody wants to be successful at
whatever their inner dream I'm not
near with what I want to do, with what
I want to accomplish. When I feel like
I have accomplished the things that I
want to accomplish, then maybe I will
personally think of myself as a superstar.
l want to be somebody tl
shines. A star shines, of course, but I
want to be really radiant,
"d : | P } Я, N
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lesly around Times Tower's terra-cotta facade.
“HAWAIL IS VOTED INTO UNION AS 50TH STATE.
GRANTS FINAL APPROVAL, 395 TO 89; EISENHOWER'S
SIGNATURE OF BILL ASSURED.” . .. Hawaii, sweet land of
pineapples and Haleloke; ukuleles summing, sunshine
and surf, grass skirts swaying in the tropical breeze.
Ispun my chair around and stared out at Times Square.
My office was two flights up, in a line with Olga’s Elec-
trolysis, Teardrop Imports, Inc., and Ira Kipnis, C.P.A
Eight-inch gold letters gave me the edge over the others:
CROSSROADS DETECTIVE AGENCY, a name I had bought
along with the business from Ernie Cavalero, who took
me on as his legman back when I first hit the city during
the war.
I was about to go out for coffee when the phone rang.
“Mr, Harry Angel?” a distant seaetary willed. “Herman
Winesap of McIntosh, Winesap and Spy calling
I grunted something pleasant and she put me on hold.
i k as the greasy kid
т you about. He intro-
HOUSE
duced himself as an attorney.
“The reason I called, Mr. Angel, was to ascert
er your services were at present available for contract."
wheth-
be for your firm?
o. I'm speaking in behalf of one of our clients. Are
you available for employment?”
Depends on the job. You'll have to give me some
ils."
"My client would prefer to discuss them with you in
person. He has suggested that you have lunch with him
today. One o'clock sharp at the Top of the Six's.
"Maybe you'd like to give me the name of th
or do I just look for some gu
“Have you a pencil handy? 21 spell it for you."
I wrote the name Louis Cyphre on my desk pad and
asked how to pronounce it.
Herman Winesap did a swell job, rolling his Rs like a
Berlitz instructor. I asked if the client was a foreigner.
Mr. Cyphre carries a. French. passport, 1 am not cer-
tain of his exact nationality. Any questions you might
have, no doubt, he'll be happy to answer at lunch. May I
det
114 tell him to expect you?”
is harry angel, private
eye, tough enough to solve
the most diabolical
murder mystery in year
FIRST LOOK
atanew novel
"TII be there, one o'clock sharp.”
Attorney Herman Winesap made some final unctuous
remarks before signing off. I hung up and lit one of my
Christmas Montecristos in celebration.
б
sixty-six Fifth Avenue was an unhappy marri
of the International Style and our own home-grown tail-
fin technology. I took an express elevator to the top flooi
got a number from the hatcheck girl and followed the
tre de back through a polite murmuring of executives
to a small table by a window. Seated there in a custom-
made blue pinstripe suit with a blood-red rosebud in hi
lapel was a man who might have been anywhere between
45 and 60. His hair was black and full, combed straight
back on a high forehead, yet his square-cut goatee and
pointed mustache were white as ermine. A tiny, inverted,
five-pointed golden star gleamed on his maroon silk
necktie. "Um Harry Angel,” I said, as the maitre de
pulled out my chair. “A lawyer named Winesap said there
was something you wanted to speak to me about."
“I like a man who's prompt," he s "
І ordered а double manhattan, str Cyphre
tapped his glass with a manicured finger and said he'd
have one more of the same. It was casy to imagine those
pampered hands gripping a whip. Nero must have had
such hands. And Jack the Ripper. They were the hands
of emperors and assassins. Languid, yet lethal, the cruel,
tapered fingers perfect instruments of evil.
Cyphre withdrew a gold-and-leather case from his
inside breast pocket, opened it and selected a slender,
greenish panatela. “Care for a smoke?” I declined the
proffered case and ched Cyphre trim the end of his
cigar with a silver penknife.
ny chance remember the name Johnny
Favorite?” he asked, warming the panatcla’s slim length
in the flame of his butane lighter.
I tought it over. "Wasn't he a crooner with a swing
band back before the war
"That's the man. An overnight sensation, as the press
agents like to say. Sang with the Spider Simpson orches-
tra in 1910."
“Johnny Favorite's before my time. In 1940, I was just
out of high school, a rookie cop in Madison, Wisconsin.”
Cyphre's features were shrouded in blue smoke a
pufied his cigar. It smelled like excellent tobacce
regretted not taking one when I had the chance.
a city of outsiders,” he said. "Tm one myself.”
іра
"ро you by
ILLUSTRATIONS BY RON VILLANI
L
FALLING
| ANGE
у
. WILLIAM
HJORTSBERG | ЗАЛ "
PLAYBOY
jg ment specified that the details remain confiden
“Where arc you from?" I asked.
“Let us say I'm a traveler.”
“Fine with me. Why did you ask about Johnny
Favorite?”
The waiter set our drinks on the table with less intru-
sion than a passing shadow.
“A pleasant voice, all things considered.” Cyphre raised
his glass to eye level in a silent European toast. “I took
Johnny under my wing when he was getting started. He
was a brash, skinny kid from the Bronx. Mother and
father both dead. His real name wasn't Favorite, it was
Jonathan Liebling. He changed it for professional rea-
sons. Do you know what happened to him?”
I said I had no idea whatsoever.
“He was drafted in January ‘Forty-three. Because of
his professional talents, he was assigned to the Special
ainment Services Branch and in March he joined a
troop show in Tunisi
details; there was an air raid one afternoon during a
performance. The Luftwaffe strafed the bandstand. Most
of the troupe was killed. Johnny, through some quirk of
fortune, escaped with facial and head injur scaped
is the wrong word. He was never the same again. I can't
be very precise about his condition. Some form of shell
shock, I suppose."
I said I knew something about shell shock myself.
"Really? Were you in the war, Mr. Angel?"
“For a few months right at the start. I was one of the
lucky ones."
“Well, Johnny Favorite was not. He was shipped home,
a total vegetable."
That's too bad,” I said, "but where do I fit in? What,
exactly, do you want me to йо?”
Cyphre stubbed out his ciga
with the age-yellowed ivory holder
Mr, Angel. I'm getting to the point, however circui
1 gave Johnny some help at the start of his career. E was
never his agent, but I was able to use my influence in his
behalf. In recognition of my assistance, which was consid-
erable, we had a contract. Certain collateral was involved.
"This was to be forfeited in the event of his death. I'm sorry
that I can't be more explicit, but the terms of our agree-
n the ashtray and toyed
Be patient. with me,
ously.
I tailed them through the
shifting shadows to a com-
pletely hidden dark ravine.
Men and women moaned as they
fondled each other, thrusting
their pelvises in a morbid
parody of ecstatic sex.
“In any event, Johnny's case was hopeless. He was sent
to a veterans’ hospital in New Hampshire, one of the
unfortunate discards of war. But Johnny had friends and
money, a good deal of money. Some of this money was
invested, with Johnny's agent having power of attorney."
“The plot begins to grow complicated," I said.
“Indeed it does, Mr. Angel.” Cyphre tapped his ivory
cigar holder absently against the rim of his em
making the crystal chime like distant bells, “Е
Johnny's had him transferred to a private hospital on the
Hudson."
“Do you know the names of these friend
“No. I hope you won't consider me entirely mercena
when I tell you that my continuing interest in Jonathan
Liebling concerns only our contractual agement. АП
that matters is whether he is alive or dead. Once or twice
cach year, my attorneys contact the hospital and obtain
from them a notarized affidavit stating he is, indeed, still
among the living. This situation remained unchanged
until last weekend.
"What happened then?"
"Something very curious. Johnny's hospital is outside
Poughkeepsie. I was in that vicinity on business and
decided to pay my old acquaintance a visit. At the hos-
pital, I was told ting hours were on weekday after-
noons only. I insisted, and the doctor in charge made an
appearance. He informed me that Johnny was under-
going special therapy and could not be disturbed until
the following Monday.”
I said, "Sounds like you were getting the run-around.”
“Indeed, There was something about the fcllow's man-
ner I didn't like." C
his vest pocket. “I stayed over until Monday and returned
10 the hospital, during visiting hours. I never saw the
doctor again, but when I gave Johnny's name, the girl at
the reception desk asked if I was a relative. Naturally,
I said no. She said only family members were permitted
to visit with the patients.”
No mention of this the previous time around?”
“Not a word. I'm afraid I made something of a scene.
That v i
the police unless I left immediately.”
“What did you do?”
phre slipped his cigar holder into
“I left. It's a private hospital. I didn't want any trouble.
"That's why I'm engaging your service:
“You want me to go up there and check it out for you?"
“Exactly.” Cyphre turned his palms upward like a man
showing he had nothing to hide. “First, I need to know
if Johnny Favorite is still alive. If he is, I'd like to know
where."
I reached inside my jacket and got out a small leather-
bound notebook and a mechanical pencil. "Sounds sim
ple enough. What's the name and address of the hospital?"
"The Emma Dodd Harvest Memorial Clinic; it's lo-
cated cast of the city on Pleasant Valley Road.
1 wrote it down and asked the name of the doctor who
had given Cyphre the run-around.
“Fowler. I believe the first name was either Albert or
Alfred.”
I made a note of it. “Is Favorite registered under his
actual name?”
“Yes. Jonathan Liebling.”
“That should do it.” I put the notebook back and got
to my feet. "How can I get in touch with you?”
“Through my attorney would be best" Cyphre
smoothed his mustache with the tip of his forefinger. "But
you're not leaving? I thought we were having lunch.
ate to missa free meal, but if T get started right away,
I can make it up to Poughkeepsie before quitting time.”
°
My six-year-old Chevy was parked in the Hippodrome
arage on 44th, near Sixth Avenue. By two o'clock, I
was heading north up the West Side Highway. I reached
the outskirts of Poughkeepsie a little after three and
found Pleasant Valley Road without spotting a single
Vasar girl. Five miles out of town, I came to a walled
estate with large bronze letters in the brickwork: EMMA
DODD HARVEST MEMORIAL CLINIC. I turned off onto a
graveled drive and meandered through dense hemlock,
emerging in front of a six-story red-brick Georgian
building that looked more like a college dormitory than
a hospital.
Inside, the place was all hospital, walls a pale, institu-
tional green and the gray linoleum floor clean enough to
operate on. A glass-topped admissions desk was built into
a recessed alcove along one wall. Straight ahead, 1 could
see a gleaming corridor where a white-clad orderly push-
ing an empty wheelchair turned a corner and disappeared
from view.
The girl behind the admissions desk was young and
homely. She wore a small black name tag that said,
I found her spread
out across a table, her
chest split by a ragged
incision. The wound
brimmed with blood and red
rivulets ran down between
her tiny, pale breasts.
PLAYBOY
118
к. FLEECE. "May I help vou?" Miss Fleece
had a voice as sweet as angel's breath,
Fluorescent light glinted on her thick,
rimless glasses.
"p certainly hope so,” I said. "My
namc is Andrew Conroy: I do ficld work
for the National Institutes of Health.” I
set my black calfskin attaché case on the
glass-topped desk and showed her some
fake LD. in an extra wallet I carry as a
dummy.
Miss Fleece regarded me suspiciously,
her dim, watery eyes wavering behind
the thick lenses like topical fish in an
aquarium, "Is there anyone in particular
you'd like to see, Mr. Conroy?" she asked,
experimenting with a weak smile
“Perhaps you'll know the answer to
I slipped my dummy wallet back
e my jacket. “The institute is con-
ducting vey of ble trauma
cases, gathering info about sur-
viving victims
understand you have а pa
ting that descripti:
“What is the patient's name, please
“Jonathan Liebling. Any information
you can provide will be kept strictly
confidential.”
"One moment, please.” The homely
receptionist with the heavenly voice rc
treated into the inner office. She returned
rying an open manila folder and slid
it across the glass top in front of me.
“We did have such a patient at one time,
but he was transferred to the VA hospital
up in Albany years ago. These are his
records.
The transfer was duly recorded on the
form and. beside it. the date, 5/12/45. T
ot out my notebook and went through
n private hospitals. I
ient here fit-
the motions of jotting down a few sta-
er so she could re
Fowler." She tapped the n
forefinger
“He still work here in the hospital?
“Why, of course. He's on duty г
now. Would you like to speak with him?
“If it’s no trouble."
She made another attempt at a
"PM call and see if he's f
stepped to the switchboard and spoke
quietly into a small microphone.
amplified voice echoed down a disi
corridor: "Dr. Fowler to the reception
desk, please ... Dr. Fowler to the recep-
tion desk.”
Dr. Fowler appeared as if out of no-
where, catsilent on his crepe-soled shoes.
He wore a rumpled brown herringbone
suit several ge. I guessed him
to be somewhere near 70.
Miss Fleece introduced me as Mr. Con-
roy and I fed him the line about the
NIH, adding, “If there's anything you
can tell me regarding Jonathan Liebling,
I'd appreciate it very much."
es 100
Dr. Fowler picked up the manila fold-
er. It might have been palsy that made
his fingers tremble, but 1 had my doubts.
So long ago,” he said, “He was an
entertainer before the war. Sad case,
was no physical evidence of neural
damage, yet he didn't respond to treat-
ment. There seemed no point in keepi
him here, so we transferred him to /
bany. He was a veteran and entitled to a
bed for the rest of his life.”
“Well, doctor, I won't take up any
more of vour timc.
“Thats quite all
couldn't be more help.”
Not at all; you've been very helpful."
And he had. One look at his eyes told
the whole story.
right. Sorry 1
.
I drove back into Poughkeepsie. stop-
ping at the first bar and grill 1 came
row. First, I called the VA hospital in
Albany and they confirmed what I al-
ready knew: There never was a transfer
patient named Jonathan Liebling. Not
in 1945; not any time. Next, I looked up
Dr. Fowler and wrote the address and.
phone number in my notebook.
South Kittridge was a pleasant, tree-
lined street not many blocks from the
campus. The doctor's house w
penter Gothic Victorian with е!
scrollwork hanging under the ед
lice on
hedges screened. the yard on either side
from the neighboring houses.
The front door framed a beveled-glass
oval, allowing a glimpse of a dim, wain-
scoted hall and a set of carpeted steps
leading up to the second floor. I rang
the bell twice and waited. No one came.
1 rang again and tried the door. It was
a
boi
te
ves like
old lady's collar. Tall lilac
locked. The lock was at least 40 years old
and I had nothing to fit it,
1 went along the side veranda trying
cach window
without success. Around
-to cellar door. It
a jimmy out of my
attaché case and pried off the hasp.
The steps were dark, festooned
cobwebs. A coal fu
was
a pagan idol. I
ted up.
1 the top was unlocked and
found the st;
The door
I stepped into a kitchen that would have
been a modern miracle during the Hoo-
There was a gas
nge with tall curving legs and a refri
erator whose circular motor perched on
top like a hatbox. I left my case on the
oilcloth-covered Kitchen table and ed
the rest of the house.
The dining room and front parlor
looked never used. Dust powdered dark,
ponderous furniture. Upstairs were three
bedrooms. The closets in two were
- The smallest, with a single iron
bed and plain oak dresser, was where Dr.
Fowler lived.
J had a look through his dresser, not
finding anything other than sh
kerchiefs and cotton underwear. Sev
musty woolen suits hung in the closet. 1
felt the pockets and didn’t turn up
thing. In his bedside table, lying next to
а small Ieather-bound Bible, was а 45
k 5 revolver. That
issued to British officers
World War Опе. Bibles were optional
I checked the break-front action, but the
om, 1 got lucky. A steri-
ng on the washstand. In-
half-dozen needles and
syringes. The medicine
ag. I examined sever
containing prescription capsules. N
жаз narcotic
I knew it had ıo be somewhere, so 1
went back downstairs and had a look in
the old-fashioned fridge. It was on the
same shelf with the milk and eggs. Mor-
phine; at least 20 50-c.c. bottles at rough
count, Enough to keep a dozen jun
dizer was steam:
side, I found
three
yielded nothi
It grew d.
bare tees in the front
silhouettes against a col
merging into blackness
before
A few minutes
before seven, the headlights of an
mobile turned into the driveway, I lis-
tened for the doctor's footsteps on the
his
porch but didn’t hear a th
ned in the lock. He hung his
overcoat om the banister and shullled
d the kitchen, When he tun
the lights, 1 started back through the
dining room.
He had the refrigerator door open and
was bent over, poking around inside
“About time for your evening fix?” I
sa
ng un
ned on
He spun around, clutching a milk ca
ton to his shirt front with both ha
“How did you get in here
“Through the mail slot. Why don't
you sit down and drink your milk and
we'll have a nice long talk.”
You're not with NIH. Who are you?"
ls.
“The name is Angel Pm a privare
investigator from the city.” 1 pulled out
one of the kitchen chairs and he sat
down wearily, holding the milk as if
it were all he had left in the world.
“Break nd entering is a serious
crime,” he said. “You'd lose your license
if I were to call the police.”
I turned a chair around across the
table from him and saddled it. "We
both know youre not calling the law
Too embarrass the
opium den in the icebox.
Im a medical man. B's perfectly
within my rights to store pharmaceuticals
at home."
‘Come oll it, do
(continued on page 178)
I saw your works
“Your father and I would like to have a serious talk with
you... if your pimp will excuse us for a few minutes.”
ns
120
A native New Jerseyite, Denise
Creedon is moving west by stages.
First she spent a couple of years in
Austin, attending the University of
Texas; then, in 1972, she went to
California on vacation—and stayed
there, settling down in the town of
Agoura, where she designs custom
wall decors. But whenever she gets a
chance, she heads even farther into
the setting sun—to Hawaii, where she
frolics with her friends the dolphins.
It all began when Denise, who has
а master divers certificate, started
studying 10 earn scuba instructors
credentials. She met some people who
were interested in saving whales; they
all started making a film and—well,
we'll let Denise tell about it in her
own words.
‘THERE ARE PEOPLE who believe that
dolphins are our equivalent in the
ocean. Such scientists as Dr. John
E believe that the cetaceans—dol-
is and their cousins the whales—
fave evolved parallel to us, with large,
complex brains that contain an intel-
ligence comparable to our own but of
a very alien nature. After all, dol-
phins having evolved separately in
such different elements for 50,000,000
years, one wouldn't expect them to
have minds similar to ours.
My first contact with dolphins was
back in 1976, during the carly days of
the filming of the still-unreleased mov-
ie FLO, a wildlife fantasy about the
plight of the humpback whale. Sculp-
tor/film maker John Perry and I were
in Hawaii filming whales when John
persuaded some local fishermen to
Jead us to the dolphins. These fisher-
men depend on the dolphin to lead
them to schools of tuna. Fishing in
GIRL
ONA
DOLPHIN
some of denise creedon's
best friends are cetaceans
PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY AND JIM HUDNALL.
Denise Creedon, 24, lives in Agoura,
California, but her home is in the
ocean. She and sculptor—film maker
John Perry have just finished post-
production work on their film FLO,
а wildlife fantasy dramatizing
the plight of the humpback whale.
Denise says that as things now stand,
it's likely that FLO will appear as a
two-part TV series this fall or winter.
Denise plays a supporting role in FLO
(the stars are whales and dalphins)
and aiso narrates it along with Perry.
Opposite and right, she catches a
little relaxation time on shore.
“There's a lova-rock island quite far
out in the ocean," Denise says,
"where there are deep, clear tide
pools you can dive into and see all
kinds of marine life brought in by the
high tide and trapped when the
tide goes out." It's off this island
that Denise executes the perfect
dive at left. “Dolphins pass by the
island ail the time,” she says; "ме
wait till they show up, watch the
direction they're going, then
hop in the boat and follow them.”
the traditional way with rod and
line, they catch the fish but do not
harm the dolphins, unlike the mod-
ern purse seiners, who use nets to
catch. the fish and drown so many
dolphins—who, like us, are air breath-
ers—in the process.
1 was spellbound as we entered the
water and found ourselves surrounded
by dolphins. For the first time, in the
100-foot bility of the clear Pacific,
I became fully conscious of their
three-dimensional freedom. Only
birds in flight experience the same
freedom of movement. But dolphins
have an advantage: In water, they are
so buoyant they're virtually weightless
and can suspend themselves effortless-
ly in hydrospace.
Accompanying us was our under-
water photographer, Jim Hudnall,
who is deeply involved in establishing
а sanctuary in the Hawaiian Islands
for the few remaining humpback
whales. The films he shot were among
the first ever taken of free dolphins
swimming with people.
Reluctantly leaving the dolphins,
we returned to the mainland to start
a publicity campaign with FLO, our
100-footlong hot-air balloon, shaped
like a humpback whale, which we
conceived of to draw attention to the
plight of the whales and the dolphins.
I eagerly returned to Hawaii the
following summer, 1977, to re-estab-
lish contact with the dolphins. We
were delighted to find the same
ones—even to recognize individuals
from the previous year. This time, we
experimented with various forms of
underwater communication. We tried
underwater bells, flutes and harmoni-
cas, which seemed to emit sounds close
Denise gets undressed (left) in
| preparation for a dive, as under-
water photographer Jim Hudnall—
according to Denise, one of the
first men to photograph free
dolphins swimming with people—
checks his equipment. In a н of
relaxed sun-bathing о!
hard day's diving, Denise sits in p
bow (far right) and watches dol
phins riding the waves in front of the
boat. Dolphins are air breathers
who, according to Denise, can stay
under for os long as ten minutes
before coming up for a breath.
Under water, Denise follows a
friendly school of dolphins. Usually,
Denise says, she swims nude—and
without a tonk: “1 can move my body
up and down like a dolphin without
one and, besides, the tank's bubbles
moke them nervous. They also seem
to be agitated when you reach out to
them from the side—as though they
are made uncomfortable by beings
wilh extremities. Divers who appear
streamlined in the water get olong
with them better." Which doubtless
explains why shapely Deni:
dolphin's best friend.
to the high-frequency squeaks and
whistles with which dolphins com-
municate, We also showed them un-
derwater kites made of shimmering
Mylar, but our most extravagant ges-
ture involved playing a grand piano
to them from the deck of the schoon-
er Sea Runner, through an under-
water speaker. Singer/songwriter Jon
Buckley even came over to try out a
new number, Love Swim, on the
dolphins.
To be truthful, all these activities
seemed to entertain us more than they
did the dolphins. Certainly, they were
curious and would come over to check
out our latest antics, but their curios-
ity was soon satisfied and they would
drift off to their own pleasures.
We spent endless days swimming
and playing with them, observing
their activities and social interaction.
1 fell in love with the easy grace of
their existence. Dolphins are the ul
mate hedonists. They seem to spend
little time hunting fish. When they
do hunt, they arc so organized and
swift that it is soon over, leaving them
a great deal of time for play and
sexual activity,
During that time of first real con-
tact, I often wondered how the dol-
phins must have reacted to the
unprecedented human attention.
Gradually, I developed the impression
that if communication were possible,
it would happen on a different level.
Watching them closely and seeing
how coordinated their movements
were underwater reminded me of the
sort of communion that exists be-
tween good lovers or longtime dance
partners. (concluded on page 223)
At the top of the opposite page,
а school of dolphins surfaces for
air. “Dolphins are far older than
man," Denise claims, “and they have
learned to live in harmony. They
have no birth-control problems, ei-
ther, because the females are
fertile only once a year. | think dol-
Phin research is one of the things
most worth doing today, because we
can learn so much from them.”
At left, Denise sits on a deserted
beach, watching her dolphin friends.
Then she says farewell to the sea
for the day and hammacks down for
а much-needed rest. Meanwhile,
her favorite cetacean, Notchback,
has to cantent itself with an
ocean devoid of Denise.
personality BY PHIL BERGER
OPINKS
if the new heavyweight cha mp keeps his title, it won't
be because he and the people who are pulling the strings
haven't done their damnedest to lose it
EW ORLEANS, APRIL 8, 1978: Leon Spinks was
foot-loose again.
dt was not on The Leon Spinks Calendar,
the increasingly speculative chart of the new
heavyweight champion's day-to-day appearances that
his lawyers had plotted for him, but Spinks was gone.
Bulletins followed. Spinks, it was reliably reported,
was in the Jacksonville, North Carolina, area, his pre-
cise whereabouts unknown. There was a woman in-
volved.
Spinks's flight presented a problem. An agreement
had just been reached in the negotiations with a group
of New Orleans financiers. The Spinks-Ali rematch was
set for September 15 in the Superdome. The problem
was that Top Rank chairman Bob Arum did not want
rival promoter Don King to steal his thunder.
King had scheduled a press conference in Las Vegas
for that Wednesday, April 12, to announce his World
Boxing Council title fight between Larry Holmes and
Ken Norton. Arum wanted to stage his press confer-
ence the day before. That required Leon Spinks, Jr., to
be there. The phone lines hummed,
On Monday, April tenth, the day before Arum's
press conference, there was no change. Nobody had a.
fix on Spinks. With time running out, Arum made an
unusual move. He asked Butch Lewis, Spinks's Svengali
during the climb to the championship, who had re-
cently been exiled from the Spinks camp for leaning
on the champ a little too heavily, to send for Leon.
Dispatched to Jacksonville, Lewis located Spinks and
transported him to New Orleans, apparently persuad
ing him en route to let bygones be bygones.
On April 11 minutes before the scheduled start
of Arum's press conference, a Top Rank official dis.
covered that room 1543 of the New Orleans Hilton
was empty.
ncc that was Spinkys room and since Spinks's
wayfaring was by then a pattern, there was cause for
alarm. But Leon, it turned out, was only tardy. An
hour late, he finally arrived. As Leon entered, Muham-
mad Ali ducked under the table at which he was sit-
ung, in a comic show of fear. Lured back out, he
(Кей on ріпку tardiness.
“I'm important now, brother,” Spinks rasped, his
bloodshot eyes twinkling.
Ali inspected the champion's brown suit and the
smartly knotted tie, turned то Lewis and 1, "You
done fixed his tie and everything, ain't you?" Then to
Spinks, he said, "You used to be quiet and didn't dress
up.” Alis voice took on an exaggerated tremolo,
/ou.. done... chaaanged, mai
"You gave me my gusto, brother,” Spinks quipped.
The crowd roared.
“You don't act the same no more,” said Ali, pretend-
ing to be perplexed. “You used to be early. Now you
ILLUSTRATION BY ERALDO CARUGATI
127
PLAYBOY
late. Making everybody wait."
“Well, that the way it supposed to be.
You got to let the smell come before you
come.”
"You crazy,” Ali told him. “E ain't
going to fight you."
In New Orleans, Ali adapted his wit to
Spinkss rough-edged humor. The mood
was cordial. The Ali ego did not rankle
Spinks as it had some of his other oppo-
nents. Leon liked him. (After he'd beaten
Muhammad, Spinks went to Ali's dress-
ing room, kissed him on the cheek and
said, “Good fight.") Ali, in turn, was not
bent on unnerving Spinks. His reference
to Spinks as crazy was meant as praise. He
had not been able to psych Spinks during
their Las Vegas title fight, a fact that
colored the comic material Ali fashioned
from his defeat. At one point during the
New Orleans press conference, he inter-
rupted Leon, saying, “I'll do the talking
now"—4à smile on his lips,
"Now, wait a minutc. Shut up," Spinks
said, acting cross.
“You tell me to shut up?" Ali shook
his head and looked out at the audience
with an aggrieved expression, “I got to
take all this?”
“That's right," Spinks told him.
champ now.
“Yassa, boss.”
It was perfect timing that had Leon
writhing in laughter, his curled tongue
poking through his teeth, He reached
for the microphone and "Ali is a
wonderful person. He's a beautiful man.
1 Jove him. I love him with all my heart.
Plus, he give me respect . . . can't get
that nowhere.”
+
If Spinks was feeling that he couldn't
get any respect except from Ali, he was
probably just reflecting on some of the
events that had taken place in the past
few months.
Within six wccks of defeating Muham-
mad Ali, Spinks had been sued by a
motel for unpaid bills; had been sued
for back rent by his landlord in Phila-
delphia; had been arrested and then
photographed in handcuffs for driving
the wrong way on a one-way street and
for operating a motor vehicle without a
license in home town of St. Louis;
and had been discarded as heavyweight
champion by the World Boxing Council
in favor of the numberone challenger,
Ken Norton. By then, the reeling Spinks
could only say, “I haven't done anything
for anyone to take my belt, I ain't dis-
respect no one.”
And as if to add insult to injury, а
lookalike of the new champion had
turned up in Philadelphia. The dead
ringer was, in Leon's term, "impostur-
ing" him—signing autographs in public
and encouraging local merchants to lav-
108 ish complimentary goods on him.
For a couple of weeks, the man sam-
pled the high times that Spinks calls his
gusto. Then he prudently faded away
‘The man may. have known something.
For by then, the. pleasure of being the
real Leon Spinks, Jr., was paling.
Nowhere was the pleasure more di-
minished than in Spinks’s dealings with
Butch Lewis of Top Rank, Inc, the
champion's exclusive promoter. On the
morning of March second—two wecks
after he beat Ali—Spinks arrived at Top
Rank's New York office to confer with
Lewis, who had told him there was busi-
ness to discuss at ten sharp.
When Spink's arrived, the Top Rank
office was undergoing a paint job, which
left its quarters cramped for seating
space. Leon settled himself on top of a
packing crate and waited for Lewis to
appear. He was still waiting by early
afternoon, when a Top Rank aide won-
dered if Spinks were hungry. Leon con-
ceded he was and let the man buy him
a ham and cheese on white.
Lewis appeared shortly afterward, say-
ing he'd been trying to track down
Spinks's accountant. That Spinks had
been waiting half the day did not appear
to trouble Butch. It disturbed the cham-
pion, though, who was beginning to re-
assess Lewis' role in his life.
"Throughout Spinks’s brief but tumul-
tuous pro carcer, Lewis had been in the
midst of the struggle for control over
Spinks. The carliest infighting had in-
volved Lewis and Millard "Mitt" Barnes,
a white Teamsters organizer from St.
Louis who was Spinks's manager of rec-
ord. Although Barnes would retain
30 percent managerial cut of Spinks's
purses, he quickly lost the influence he'd
had when Leon was an amateur and
Barnes was his benefactor, investing tine
and money in Spinks's boxing future.
It was through Lewis that Barnes first
learned that his past contributions (ac-
cording to Mitt, he gave Spinks more
spending money than strictly permitted
by Olympic regulations) had been de-
valued. After Spinks's fist pro fight,
Lewis told Barnes that Leon's wife,
Nova, was consulting with attorneys
about canceling МИГ contract as man-
ager—she wanted to be the manager.
Barnes began to fcel a chill in Leon's
attitude toward him.
Spinks's disaffection for Barnes appar-
ently was not so deep-rooted that he had
qualms about asking him for more mon-
ey. On August 8, 1977, shortly after Leon
suffered an eye injury in training, he
phoned Mitt for $500. According to his
Western Union receipt, Barnes wired
the money at 4:35 р.м. that day, An hour
later, Spinks phoned back and asked for
$1500 more.
“l just wired you the $500," Barnes
told him. ^I got to come to Phila-
delphia—we've got a few things to dis-
cuss. So ГЇЇ just bring the $1500 with
me." When Barnes went to Philadelphia,
Spinks had already received the $500
and split.
In Barnes's place, Lewis had taken
charge of Spinks, involving himself in
every facet of Leon's carcer, even track-
ing the fighter down n he went
A.W.O.L. from training.
Lewis, a 31-year-old former car sales-
man who had become a vice-president of
Top Rank, had the animated style of his
former calling and an inclination for the
ornate gesture. In the Manhattan phone
directory, he was listed as "Lewis, P. A,"
the initials referring to the nickname
he'd taken for himself—Park Avenue
ank's pres-
ing, plaindalking man, distrusted. He
suspected Lewis of promoting himself
with Spinks at his expense. After several
"incidents" with Lewis, Barnes began to
think of consulting an attorney for the
problems he anticipated.
Spinks's trainer Sam Solomon had a
wary eye on Lewis, too; he did not take
to Butch’s idea of bringing in another
trainer, George Benton, to assist him.
Solomon, a short, rotund man, 63 years
ge, had fought in tent shows and
1 clubs as a se
in Negro baseball.
ual,
but on this occasion he became angry at
s authority as tr; undercut.
called, "of being h Leon and his
hael. [ ks had
turned pro with Top Rank in February
1977.] He'd pick ‘em up all the time, get
them to the gym. Id tell him they
needed this or that—and he'd get it
done. Never a problem. And it wasn't
until early summer that I started to see
that they really weren't progressing. Sam
was just great for my overseer, but he
wasn't great in training them. In fact,
Mike and Leon were complaining that
he wasn't teaching 'em anything.
"What happened is that one day in
the gym, Leon went over to George Ben-
ton, who worked in Joe Fraziers gym.
He saw George showing fighters things
that he thought he should know. He
went to Benton and asked him, ‘Man,
would you show me how to do that?
Later, Leon called me and asked, "Can't
we get Benton to work with us? ”
Benton was a former middleweight
contender who was training Frazier's sta-
ble of fighters, which included Е T's
own son Marvis, a promising amateur,
As a fighter, Benton had been a clever
operator, with a knack for avoiding
punches, A classic stylist.
"George himself came to me,” said
(continued on page 132)
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY DON AZUMA
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PLAYBOY
pm INKS (continued from page 128)
“The worst of it was Spinkss concern that he was
being manipulated against his better interests.”
Lewis, "and said, ‘Look, man, I don't
want to start no trouble. 1 want you to
know your fighter came over to me and
asked me to show him a couple of tricks
he saw me showing to some other fight-
ers. I don't want to start no problems.’
Scc, Solomon noticed what was going
on... and gota little pissed.”
To avoid problems, Lewis held back
on hiring Benton for the time being.
e.
By September 1977, the in-house pol-
itics occupied too much of Leon's atten-
tion. There were Barnes's calls to
reestablish old ties and the warnings
from others to ignore him. There was
Solomon's resentment to balance against
the advanced techniques that Benton
probably could provide. There was hard-
sell Lewis, pulling and tugging and tell-
ing Spinks so many things that it was
hard to keep them all straight. In the
ghetto of St. Louis, Spinks hadn't had to
worry about receipts for documenting ex-
penses or about bcing on timc.
‘The worst of it was Spinks's gnawing
concern that he was being manipulated
against his better interests. Two other
Olympic boxing gold medalists, Howard
Davis and Sugar Ray Leonard, had
landed exorbitant guaranteed-income
deals with the TV networks. By contrast,
"Top Rank's guarantee to Spinks of only
$30,000 for eight bouts was a pittance.
If those elements were not sufficient to
doud Spinks's thoughts, Arum provided
another twist. Although Spinks lad
fought only five professional fights (all
won by knockouts), Arum signed him to
box Ali for the heavyweight champion-
ship.
‘The original plan called for Spinks to
qualify for the tide fight—he was re-
quired to defeat at least one ranking
boxer, against Alfio Righetti of Italy, on
September 13. Spinks's eye injury caused
the fight to be rescheduled for November
18. As a tune-up for that bout, Top Rank
matched Spinks against a journeyman
heavyweight named Scott LeDoux in
October.
The LeDoux bout was what prompted
me to begin looking into the Spinks
story. It was not the fight telecast from
Las Vegas or the news accounts that
piqued my interest. It was what a deep-
throat source I'll name Whisper reported.
Whisper is a nondescript individual, giv-
en to the sort of tinted glasses Spinks
himself wears. On Lcon, it is for effect, a
132 kind of flair. For Whisper, it deepens his
seedy anonymity, his gray slouch of a
figure. He is a boxing aficionado, though,
with a computerlike memory for names,
dates and the curious facts of the sweet
science. He is also privy to all the in-
trigues and bent turns of the game.
"The thing about the LeDoux fight,"
Whisper said, “was what occurred out-
side the ring, not inside it. There was a
craziness at ringside in the Spinks camp,
particularly with this Butch Lewis fellow.
“Lewis sat down in the press тош...
maybe 20 feet from LeDoux’s corner . . .
middle of the ring. Into the ring comes
Michael Spinks to fight in a prelim. And
Butch stands up in the press тою... оп
the floor . . . Michael is in completely
the opposite corner . . . and Butch hol-
lers, ‘Hey, Sliiiiim’—Slim—that’s his
nickname for him. The kid turns
around. Butch hollers, ‘Give me füiiive^
The kid dutifully walks across the ring
and .. . you know that give-me-five thing.
Two gloves, palms down. And Butch gets
his jollies. Same thing with Leon when
he comes into the ring. ‘Give me fiiitive,
big man.
“Then the LeDoux fight starts. And
LeDoux, of course, pulled every trick in
the book—the elbows, the thumb in the
eye, the head butts. Meantime, though,
he’s managing to bang home some legiti-
mate punches, too.
"OK. Leon was under a little pressure.
And here's where Lewis began shouting
instructions from press vow. I couldn't
believe my eyes: Leon would tum toward
this guy for advice instead of to his
Torner!
“Butch’s screaming and ranting led a
couple of people to start heckling him.
And he's done this before . . . at other
fights, I've been told. ‘You got faith in
that white man up there? Bet $500!
“The morning of the fight, I'd run
into Joe Daszkiewicz, the trainer of Le-
Doux. He tells me, ‘Whisper, you should
have heard what went on yesterday.
LeDoux is staying on the same floor as
Leon. We're going past the door to his
room, we hear Butch Lewis inside, carry-
ing on. Trying to psych Leon. "If you
don't win the fight, you're going bach to
the ghetto. You've got to win or you're
through.” Really laid it on!"
“Toward the end of the fight, Leon is
dragging. It's his first ten-rounder. The
word was that he'd been partying pretty
good a few weeks before. At this point,
it's a close fight. The shot at Ali is on
the line. All of Spinks's people are going
crazy. And here comes Lewis, running up
to the ring ropes and yelling at Leon:
‘Remember the ghetlol Remember the
ghetto" Really weird stuff, but I'll give
him this: Maybe it helped. Because Leon
sparked up at the end.
“The fight ended in a draw. After-
ward, Johnny Mag, of the Nevada Ath-
letic Commission wrote Top Rank a
letter of reprimand . . . that this will not
be countenanced anymore . . . that Butch
Lewis is to be kept out of press vow. All
that sort of stuff. А very stiff letter.”
The unsettling atmosphere continued
for the Righetti fight. Benton was in
camp. Sensing Solomon's antagonism,
though, he bowed out after Spinks beat
the Italian, telling Lewis he wanted to
avoid further hard feelings. Lewis,
though, felt that George's expertise could
help against Ali. He kept after Benton
and eventually persuaded him to work
with Spinks. It produced a triangular
training approach that involved Benton,
Spinks and Lewis brother, Nelson
Brison, who was an assistant trainer of
Spinks.
“George,” said Lewis, “would phone
Nelson and tell him things that he
should be showing Leon. And Nelson
would then repeat to Spinks what George
had told him. This is how it was done!
OK? This is how fucked up it was. And
then, as the championship fight ap-
proached, I said, "Look, George, we com-
ing down to the wire. I need you down
here . . . if nothing else, to work the last
week or so. To do whatever you can do.
And if you have to do it, continue doing
it through Nelson. "Cause we can't afford
to have any confrontations at this
point”
In Las Vegas for the title fight, Benton
had to continue to funnel his ideas
through Brison. He showed him tactics
for defensing Ali and explained a strat-
egy he had. The key to the Benton
strategy was for Spinks to pound away at
Ali's left shoulder during the fight and
tire the muscles that controlled Muham-
mad's jab, a weapon that had been cru-
cial to Ali late in past fights. Benton also
found a way to exploit Ali's energy-
saving rope-adope tactic: When Mu-
hammad covered up, bang away at the
shoulder. When he opened up, throw
the uppercut through his gloves to the
chin.
“Then,” said Benton, “the few times
I'd see Leon alone, 1 never talked loud
to him, Always talked soft to him. You
can take a person who's excitable and
talk him down by your tone of voice. Id
tell him, "You're going to be champ. All
you got to do is do the right things.
Small things. Goddamn it, you'll be rid-
ing around in a Rolls-Royce. I can see
you with the pretty clothes on.’ And
(continued on page 210)
down. the alphabet,
igar-cane island
less to rich, pungent and
ed. Recently; Statesiders
ILLUSTRATION: BY GARY COOLEY
PLAYBOY
134 today, and a lot of that goes for
have latched on to the charms of the
blond Puerto Rican and Virgin Island
distillates. But we seem to be missing
the boat on the lusty, sonorous yo-ho-
ho rums—the stulf that spurred Paul
Revere on his wild mt and fired the
blood of Blackbeard and his pack of mal-
contents. And that's a mistake!
While not as mixable as the vodkalike
white rums, these full-throated creations
are both versatile and warming, as the
schuss and sitzmark crowd is beginning
to discover. Dark rums are a mainstay of
holiday bowls and nogs and de rigueur
n а planter's punch, zombie and toddy.
In England, dark rums are drunk like
whisky, with a splash of water or soda
or—in enlightened circles—over ice, with
twist. Aged liqueur rums, rather scarce
in the United States, can be taken in
snilters after dinnor—or contemplative-
ly, before a blazing
ince all rums are distilled from sugar-
cane juice, molasses or some cane prod-
uct, what accounts for the vast diflerences
in style and character? A number of fac-
tors: climate, soil, water, yeast and the
form of sugar used, but primarily, the
tillation proces. Myers’s
the prototypal dark rum, is made in pot
stills—the distillate running off at a rela-
tively low 140-160 proof. This is remi-
niscent of the methods used to intensily
the flavor and aroma of cognac and
Scotch malt whiskies. Other procedures
contributing to the heady quality of Ja-
maica rums are the addition of dunder
(residuc [rom the still) to the mash and
the reliance on spontaneous fermenta-
tion of wild ycast. The last is not quite
chancy as it sounds, since cane stalks
(which are natural carriers of yeasts that
ferment sugar) are added to the open
vats to get things going. Dark rums also
require more aging; Jamaicas vest five to
eight years in seasoned cooperage—a
euphemism for old casks. Incidentally,
there's no cause-effect relationship be-
tween color and pungency, though distill-
ers usually darken their heavier offerings
with caramel.
Here's a taste guide to the darker rums,
based on place of origin. Bear in mind
that there are bound to be variations
within groups from brand to brand.
Jamaica: Mellow, full-bodied, opulent;
richly aromatic, with fruity notes. (A
lighter golden and a clear-white rum are
also made in Jamaica.)
Demerara (from Guiana): Heavy-bodied,
deep color, aggressive flavor, but not as
fragrant as Jamaica; burnt or smoky
undertone. Often bottled at high
proofs—up to 151 proof.
Martinique: Rich, dark, pronounced rum
flavor—in the heavier middle range. Pop-
ular in France.
New England: Quite full in flavor, with
a fairly heavy body. It's seldom produced
voring.
Haiti; Middle range but with a lovely,
y; spicy, scent of cloves.
‘The best has a brandylike quality.
Puerto Rico: This island is known for
light or white rums, but it docs pro-
duce mellow, aged añejos and a number
of 151-proof brands.
Trinidad-Barbados: In the lighter mid-
dle range—between Martinique
light Puerto Rican rum
Batavia Arak: Clear, light but excecding-
ly fragrant. Seldom seen in these
London Dock Кит: Simply Jam
other West Indian rums that have been
aged in warehouses along the banks of
the Thames and blended in England.
Ве © of its таге aromatic qualities,
dark rum stars in the kitchen as well
the bar. You'll find the half bottle a
uselul addition to your seasoning sheli—
for brightening fruits, sauces, pastries,
roasts . . . and, at judicious intervals,
the chef!
RUM MANHATTAN
Also known as the Cuban manhattan,
this aromatic potion has recently sur-
faced at smarter boites around town,
2 ozs. dark rum
y4 Oz. red (sweet) vermouth
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Lemon twist
Maraschino cherry
Pour rum, vermouth and bitters into
mixing glass over cracked ice. 5
Strain over fresh ice in old fashioned
glass. Wipe rim of glass with outside of
lemon twist; add to glass with chi
PLANTER's PUNCH.
Early recipes call for 1 of sour, 2 of
sweet, 3 of strong, 4 of weak. Our propor-
tions are more to the modern taste, even
if they don't
1 от. Jam:
1 oz. Haitian or Trinidad rum
Juice of 14 lime
Dash bitters
1 teaspoon grenadine
2 teaspoons curagao
Club soda, chilled
Cherry, orange slice, pineapple sti
Shake rums, lime juice, bitters, grena-
dine and curagio briskly. Strain into tall
glass filled with ice. Add light р
soda; stir once, Decorate with fruit; serve.
DEMERARA DREAM
1% ozs. Demerara 151-proof rum
14, oz. fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon sugar
2 dashes bitters
1 tablespoon orgeat or Falernum
Ground nutmeg
Shake all ingredients except nutmeg
briskly with cracked ice. Strain into gob-
let over fresh ice, Sprinkle with nutmeg.
KINGSTON SPECIAL
1 oz. Jam:
1 oz. medium rum
arum
101. bi liqueur
1 oz. lime jı
1 teaspoon sugar
1 oz. cream
Club soda, chilled
Banana chunk
Shake all ingredients except soda and
banana briskly with cracked ice. Strain
over fresh ice in tall glass. Add splash
soda, or to taste. Stir once. Fi
on side of
Cold black coffee, sweetened to taste
Place scoop ice cream їп tall glass.
Pour in rum and mix with long-handled
spoon. Sprinkle with allspice. Pour in
coffee, about 24 full; stir. Add another
scoop ice cream and top with coffee to
fill glass. Serve with straws and spoon.
LIME CAY
14 ozs. dark rum
¥ oz. 151-ргоо rum
Juice of 14 lime
1 teaspoon grenadine
1 oz, canned cream of coconut
% cup crushed ice
Lime slice, pineapple chunk, manda-
rin-orange segment
Place all ingredients except fruit in
chilled blender container. Buzz 15-20 sec-
onds and pour unstrained into ceramic
coconut shell. Thread fruit on bamboo
skewer and lay across top of coconut.
AQUAMARIN
1 oz dark rum.
14, oz. blue curacao
û or. apricot liqueui
9ле: spoons lemon juice
Shake rum,
briskly with cracked ice. St
meurs and lemon juice
in into
Тор lightly with
chilled cocktail glass.
tonic. Stir once and
RUMBLAST
2 ozs. dark rum
y
2 ozs. pineapple juice
1 oz. mango nec
14 oz. grenadine
14 tablespoon lime juice
2te spoons cream
Mint sprig
Hall fill collins glass with cracked ice.
Shake all ingredients except garnish with
ice. Strain into tall glass over ice cubes.
Decorate with mint; serve with so
Exploring the sensory properties of the
various rum types with a bosom com-
panion can be a pleasant and rewarding
experience. It’s à great way to get ac
quainted with the body of rums . . . and,
incidentally, with your companion.
ar
“You seem to have changed, Laur
Are you encouraging another artis
playmate ma rey hanson 5
acting career is shifting
into high ш her
socal life 15 keeping pace
PHOTOGRAPHY
BY MARIO CASILLI
ROLLIN’ ALONG
IT HAPPENS all the time. You
can't walk anywhere with Marcy
Hanson without being stopped
by one of her fans. ‘This onc
happened to be a young girl
of about nine. She sidled up
to Marcy and gave her a big
hi, followed by a Charostyle
cuchi-cuchi bump and grind
that got embarrassed halfway
through and ended up a blush.
A combination of audacious
sensuality and cowgirl inno-
cence, Honey Bee Novak—in
miniature—rolls again
For those of you who arc
blind or who were out of
the country last spring, Honey
Bee Novak is, or was, the very
sexy, very spaced-out coheroine
of Rollergirls, an NBC mini-
series that captured the hearts,
minds and private parts of a
large segment of America. What
the Fonz was, or is, to teenage
boys, Honey Bee was to young
girls. Hey-yyyyy. How did Marcy
become Honey Bee or, for
that matter, our Miss October?
It almost didn't happen, "You
“There's a clause in my TV
contract that says I can't
do nudes. How can anyone
object if 1 open my blouse?
Even my mother doesn't mind."
“The first time I go to bed with a man, I like to wear
a silk shirt, one of his. You have to make the loving
special. Sometimes ГЇЇ dress up in a garter belt and.
138 stockings, or lace. We'll spend the cvening dancing."
should have scen my con-
tract. There was a morality
clause [thank you, Marilyn
Chambers] that said if
you'd done nudity, you
were unfit for television.
Ir was ridiculous. They
wanted me to be ashamed
of my body. Every day on
Rollergirls, the guy from
standards and practices
would pass the word to the
producer, who would tell
the director, who would
tell the costume lady to
hide my body. ‘Put Band-
Aids on her nipples. Make
her wear a bra and a body
stocking. Then a jerse
There was no way I was
going to go out like that.
Those Band-Aids hurt. Be-
tween scenes, ] would sneak
offstage, take off the Band
Aids, bra and body stock-
ing. Nobody noticed.”
We wouldn't say that.
Journalists saw Marcy as
the symbol of television's
preoccupation with cleay-
age. Her personal life was
as publicized as her profes-
sional lile (Joe Namath and
Rod Stewart had been
dating her. Marcy gave
good press. When a Chicago
reporter interviewed her,
“What's the most outrageous
thing I've ever done sex-
ually? 1 can't tell you
that. Not for print. Oh,
wait. How about the most
outrageous thing Гис
done with one person?”
142
Sometimes I think sex is my favorite form of sport.
To quote a friend, it's the great indoors. 1 love it
А man would bea fool to put me in the kitchen. I'm
at my best playing, sharing, being a companion.”
he asked,
Marcy replied,
not old enough to
Marcy tried to keep work
and play separate. “I didn't
want to get press just bc-
cause I was in bed with
someone. I wanted recogni-
tion for my own talents. I
wanted to be Marcy Han.
son, actress, not Marcy
Hanson, girlfriend
The last episode of
Rollergirls was a crisis for
Marcy. For a week, she had
worked on adding dimen-
sion to Honey Bee. On
the day of the taping, a
network executive said the
comedy format
room for emotion.
her back to Disneyland,
broke down. I called
my preacher back in Texas,
just to get through that
day. I vowed never again
to let someone else choose
for me, to ask me to be
Jess than my best. From
now on, I choose for my-
self." Shame to the man
who put Band-Aids on this
girl's spirit.
TV Tunes In Sex as Crime Fades
1
Whom should the august “ New York Times” choose as the premier example of televisions new emphasis оп sex
but our own Marcy (above left), then about to make her debut in NBC-T1"s series " Rollergirls’ —which, despite all
the media attention, proved to be short-lived. That's Marcy above vight with fellow Rollergivl Joanna Cassidy.
A1 left, Marcy splashes with July 1977 Playmate
Sondra Theodore. Above, Marcy's with former best
friend Rod Stewart at her 25th birthday bash.
“We were trying to look sexy: Rod cheated.”
PLAYMATE DATA SHEET
NAME: Maney pk OMA ON
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нетонт:' Y^ wero: И? ston:
BIRTH pare: Wats. 99. prereprace:
сом: х9. عسل Че dio & Jon. DAUM Ou mou SLO,
Ue б. uova. wk a е vi ЧА. back Yard,
а, pod рдл And
TURN-ONS Оо, айд din tourer, wrth pundo,
Ue uam vualo уо n
TURN-OFFS: . ملس ممم people , mu
dio dut
GREAT ESCAPES: хола {lm a
Sey. And
Cham oa dna
FAVORITE AGE: wopr [Slo to 1890 - Romande, е
Poot Jo, Oh dure мв wan ming;
ойлон ts the a}, datiu and.
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES
Please. Vd like a leave of absence,” the about-
to-hecome-obviously-pregnant airline steward-
ess told her supervisor.
“Why?” she was asked.
“It's because Гуе had—well—a sort of
accident,” answered the
“What was the cause of this accident?" pur-
sued the supervisor. "Was it job related?"
"In a manner of speaking,” sighed the stew:
ardess. "You might put the cause down as 'p
error,”
e
4 a
When Neanderthal man lumbered home from
the hunt, he was less than fully erect, accord-
ing to anthropologists. That figures. of course,
considering how ugly Neanderthal woman wa:
Teenaged partygoers report that the new ver-
sion of an old Halloween pastime is something
called bobbing for cherries.
Since the girl couldn't type, she was fired,
Then explained how she'd come to be hired:
"The executive's dong
Being four inches long,
1 thought shorthand alone was required."
The man who had risen from poverty to fame
and fortune looked thoughtful as his naked
wife began to simmer sexually.
"You know, dear," he mused, "at times, T
Imost miss the old days. when I used to revel
n foreplay—instead of leaving this sort of
thing to the butler.”
lı was at a homecoming dance that the hand-
some but painfully shy young man approached
the popular sexpot and mumbled, “Gee, I
don't mean to be fresh, but if you, you know,
danced with me, it would be quite a feather
my cap.”
Let's split and go to a motel.” twinkled the
"and ГЇЇ make you an Indian chic!
With the changes in sexual mores, people are
no longer intent upon keeping up with the
Joneses. Given group sex and spouse swapping,
now they're more interested in going down
with the Joneses.
lı was опе of those classic confrontations in а
neighborhood bar. “In my book.” growled the
old-line ship's radio operator to the abrasive
young feminist, "a woman is still basically two
dots and a dash.
Bur, my dear, this person is suffering the
gonics of acute nymphomania,” the psychia-
trist explained when his wife happened to
walk in and find him on the couch with a
shapely young thing. "I was simply trying to
alleviate her pain by administering a tempo-
rary anesthetic
No longer a virgin, Miss Wise
Arranged for a marriage disguise:
It was surgical art
That refurbished her part
By constructing a tissue of lies.
On her." exulted the girl watcher to his equally
interested buddy, “the end justifies the jeans!"
Two housewives were discussing the TV special
production of The Godfather. “It must be a
terrible thing, Bertha,” remarked one of them,
“to wake up with a horse's head in your bed.”
I should be so lucky," sneered Bertha.
“With my Harry, it's a horse's ass.”
(c
Ф
е ё
Our Unabashed jonary defines massage-
parlor girl as a peter maid.
During a medical examination, the physician
asked his female patient about some marked
brasions on her knees and forearms. "Those
е rug burns" the woman explained with
some embarrassment, "from . . . well... from
engaging in intercourse dog fashion
"But surely vou know other positions,”
chided the medical man.
“Of course I do, doctor,” replied the woman,
"but my Doberman doesn't."
Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
11. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.
Mg
“Run out and get me a pizza during half-time activities.”
THE INNER
GAME OF
SEX
article
By ROBERT SHEA
zen and the art of
foreplay—a
took at the mental
attitudes that lead to
ood, bad and
incredible lovemaking
MERICANS do not enjoy sex
totally, We are a driven
people. There is a post-
New Testament God keep-
ing score on our bedroom games,
and the newest version of the
Protestant. ethic is, “Thou shale
pursue a full, active, regular,
frequent, satisfying, varied, ex-
citing, healthy, normal sex life."
We have had our sexual revolu-
tion, but we are still governed
by the style, if mot the rules, of
Puritans and Victorians; we are
compulsive, anxiety-ridden, com-
petitive, relentlesly self-improv-
ing, perpetually self-critical. The
morality has changed but not the
habit of moralizing. Sex, of all
human activities, should be the
one we enjoy most freely, yet it
is one of the most ruled and regu-
lated. The old regulations made
people feel guilty; the new ones
make them feel inadequate.
Is there an antidote to the
American way of sex? Perhaps.
Japan is admirably free of sexual
Бри One reason for this is
influence of Zen in
د life. Now Zen has be-
ILLUSTRATION BY JERRY PODWIL
come popular in America, We've
Вай Zen in archery, drawing,
flower arrangement, judo, ka-
rate, aikido, motorcycle mainte-
nance, tennis, skiing and creative
management. With all this, there
should be а Zen approach to sex.
There is People have been
putting Zen Into their love-
making for ages. The word Zen
means meditation, and medita-
tion means turning off the verbal-
izing mind and letting what is
be. So the emence of Zen in sex is
to function naturally and pleas
antly without bugging ourselves.
Anything and everything we
do can be a means of meditating,
of doing Zen. Timothy Gallwey's
The Inner Game of Tennis has
applied this idea to Western
sports, turning tennis into an
opportunity to meditate, We will
enjoy tennis more, he says, if we
will do four things Abandon
self-criticism; rely on spontaneous
learning processes; concentrate on
bere and now; shift our goal from
outward succes to inner growth.
‘These four principles can just
as well be applied to sex. The
first rule of the inner game, and
maybe the most difficult for any-
one raised in this culture, is to
give up the habit of judging our-
selves and everything we do in
terms of positive or negative
good or bad, right or wrong, suc-
cess or failure. We all know that
in any skill when we are self-
Critical, we become awkward,
stumble and fall, lose touch with
the sources of inspiration. It's as
if we had two selves that might
be called the player and tbe spec-
tator, Tbe player is pure action;
it does not think in words and it
needs to concentrate. The spec-
tator observes and intellectual.
izes. When the spectator gets out
of hand, starts hollering out
criticisms from the side lines, giv-
ing unnecessary advice, trying to
control the player's actions, call-
ing attention to the score, the
player develops two left feet, If
the spectator starts acting up like
that at a sexual performance, it
will spoil that performance.
For instance, a man may find
PLAYBOY
that when he is making love, especially to
а woman he doesn’t know well, he seems
to be two people. One of them is in bed.
doing things to and with a lover. We
might call this person the Player. Pu
action. In contrast, the second self, the
Spectator, is standing back, criticizing,
like a director at a pornographic movie
а very anxious director, who says things
such as, "You've played with that nipple
long enough, idiot. Go on to the other
onc, qui Or, "She doesn't like thc
way you're stroking her. Too mechani
She's losing interest. Think of something
else to do”
Whenever you have to make a move—
strike up a conversation, make а т
mantic gesture, display your expertise in
bed—the Spectator feels somewhat nerv-
ous. Whenever your self-esteem depends
on the outcome of some effort, there is
stage fright, That terrible paralysis. That
pounding of the heart, trembling and
clamminess of the hands, draining hol-
low im the stomach. The mind goes
blank, speech and gesture turn to wood.
You feel terrified of making a fool of
yourself. It strikes when you are in bed
with someone you badly want to impress
It can ruin an experience. Liberating
yourself from stage fright is what Zen is
all about.
You arc so in the habit of labeling
everything either good or bad that it's
hard to imagine any other way of think-
ing. There is another way, though: being
completely aware without judging. Stop
classifying what you sec as good or bad
and simply look at the facts as they arc.
Tam a camera, For example, if a woman
doesn't have ап orgasm when а тап
makes love to her, he doesn't have to
blame himsclf or her, or weat the inci-
dent as a calamity. He can simply note
the fact, recognizing that the explanation
for it is not yet known.
Millions of American women worry
about their breast measurements. Mil-
lions of American men worry about
their penis size. Such concerns only
measure the national insanity. И а man’s
erect penis is four inches long, he
needn't say, "My penis is four inches
long and that's a disaster." Nor should
he try to use positive thinking and say,
“Му penis is four inches long and that's
marvelous.” That would be just as much
a distortion of reality. He just says, “Му
penis is four inches long.” Period. Or
maybe, “So what?” Scientific fact. No
praise, no blame.
Americans are obsessed with numbers,
Poor Alfred Kinsey. He wanted to free us
from guilt. He wrote that there was so
much v; ion in our levels of sexual
activity (he found one man who regu-
larly had 30 orgasms a week and another
who'd had only one in 30 years) that we
should stop using words such as normal
152 amd abnormal, much less good and bad.
ryone has ignored that statement
and remembers only that Kinsey counted
everything that could be counted. And
Kinsey's statistics have given us a new
way to feel guilty. Four orgasms a week
is above average, therefore good. One a
week is below average, therefore bad.
How many of you keep count of how
often you get laid? Hands, please. Quite
a few, we sec. How many of you try to
count the number of orgasms your wom-
en have per night? Still a great many.
How many worry when either number
alls below a certain level? That's what
we suspected.
But if we don't criticize our perform-
nce, how are we ever going to improve?
How do we learn anything? Most of us
think we are taught the right way to do
things by hearing а lecture or reading a
book. ‘Then we practice while observing
our performance carefully for mista
If the mistakes are too numerous or seem
insurmountable, we go to a teacher,
coach or therapist. Or we read a dozen
more how-to-do-it books.
‘The instructions The Joy of Se:
are so detailed and complicated that any
couple who wanted to follow them would
have to crucial passages printed on
or lettered on the bedroom
ап would need the coor-
But also like an astronaut, he would
always be working from a check list.
It is possible to improve a skill with-
out consciously tryin ct, it seems
to be the better way. When you are try-
ing to do something, the Spectator fre-
quently talks too much, filling your mind
with confusing instructions that are hard
to follow. When the Player takes over,
however, it will sometimes perform уй
tual miracles, moves that arc. brilliant
and instantancous and could be achieved
only through inspiration. You've had nio-
ments when you were on or hot and
did something memorable, a clever con-
ational comeback, a lled bit of
driving that got you through an emer-
gency or an inspired move in lovemaking
that sent your partner to a new height
of ectasy. Left to do its thing without
a lot of nervous chatter from the Spec
ator, the Player will fnd ways to grow
and improve that surprise you. For
instance, you might suddenly and spon-
taneously introduce а new kind of sex-
play in a relationship. The first time a
man goes down on a woman, he may
not know (unless she asked for it) how
she will take it. She might see
nasty pervert or—much more likely—she
might love him all the more, Sometimes
а woman will react both ways at once.
Alter all, she has a Spectator and a Pla:
er on her side of the net, too.
‘There are two aids to learning with a
quiet mind, One is the use of mental
pictures instead of words. If people watch
good golfers or tennis players
or movies of them, their own game im-
proves afterward. If you want to be
better in bed, you should read pornog
aphy, which provides images rather than
instruction, and go to sex movies. Por-
nographic movies are being exhibited
with sound, color and wide screen i
most of our big cities these days. Sex
therapists have also recognized the value
of visual images. Couples now spend
weekends sprawled on cushions and
watching both pornographic films and
movies made especially for sex education.
The other way to learn is through
practice. From the strange point of view
prevalent in this culture since at least
the fall of Rome, getting lots of practice
in games, the arts or business is praised
ence, but getting lots of practice
denounced as promiscuity. In
in most things, the more you do it,
better you get at it. Some people
intensifies the pleasure of sex to
save it [or special occasions. Not neces-
sarily. Sexual malfunctions are morc
likely to arise in people who enjoy sex
only rarely, Nor is there any reason to
fcar running out of steam. Most of us
have a lot more sexual energy than we
usually use.
E
То keep the Spectator quiet and the
Player practicing, you have to concen-
rate, which means keeping the mind in
the here and now. Gallwey writes, "Con-
centration is the supreme art, because no
art can be achieved without it, while with
it anything can be achieved.” He sug-
gests that tennis players concentrate on
the seams of the ball as it flies back and
forth. You might try concentrating on
your lady’s navel.
Sex in the Western world is like an
O. Henry story: the whole point is in
the outcome. India developed tantric
yoga, the use of sex as a means of medi
tation, in which the last thing anybody
wants to do is get it over with, In his
book on tantric yoga, Philip Rawson
writes, “Indian eroticism alw: sed
on the inner state of crotic possession.”
The ideal of lovemaking “is a protracted
ecstasy of mind and body, whose fires are
continually blown by prolonged engage-
ment and stimulation of the sexual or-
ns, not mutual relief.”
Keeping the mind in the present
ns not worrying about how things
m
will eventually turn out, A future-oriented
man can be greatly troubled if he sees
goodlooking woman on the street.
There he is at five minutes to nine on
Monday morning and all he can do is
look. He sours the pleasure of looking
by not being satisfied. It's no good, he
thinks, unless he can have more. Or he
is having dinner with a lady and finds
(concluded on page 276)
PLAYBOY’S FALL AND
WINTER тыыны FORECAST
ALL LUGGAGE FROM T. ANTHONY
Above: A hot tip pays off—and so does the
fact thot he’s wearing а ventless herring-
bone jocket with narrow lapels, $300, worn
with a wool knit V-neck sweater, $65, pol-
ished-cotton shirt with a medium-spread
collar, $80, single-pleated corduroy slocks,
$115, and а narrow corduroy necktie, $13,
all by Browns of London. The broad-
brimmed wool felt hot he's flipping is by
Larry Kane, about $25. (His lody in wait-
ing's suit and hat by Bill Koiserman for Ra-
fael; her fur by DéCor Furs New York)
daring nonchalance,
tough-minded
individualism
and a sense of
the classic will
form the approach
to menswear in
the months ahead
attire By DAVID PLATT
HE PHRASE attitude dressing
really sums up the current
men's fashion mood. Wear
suspenders over a suede
shirt with a skinny tie and your collar
open; or wing it (the collar, that is)
with a suit or sportswear that reflects
how you feel that day. With each
succeeding season, the essence of
dressing for this decade comes into
sharper focus, and по more so than
now. The current mood results from
the melding of many elements, in-
cluding a new appreciation for clas-
sicim (particularly, fine British
fabrics), a virtual elimination of the
"rules of dr as we oncc knew
them, a sophisticated sense of eclecti-
cism and the confidence to put it all
together and develop your own look.
Specific fashion trends on the rise
include narrow ties and small shirt
collars; narrower jacket lapels, soft-
er shoulders and a less defined sil-
houette; and a great deal of layering.
This last works best when the layers
e juxtaposed with different tex-
tures, colors and fabrics, so that the
total effect is one of unstudied in-
souciance. Fashion today? It's a sur-
prise party. And you're all invited.
153
154
Above left: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them
all? He'd know if he could tear himself away from admiring his
four-button wool tweed suit, by Don Sayres for After Six, $230:
wing-collared shirt with four-button placket front, from Country
Roads by Robert Stock, about $27.50; and a wool plaid tie, by
Berkley Cravats, about $9. (His companion has almost slipped
out of a bra and panties by Shuba, plus shoes from Maud Frizon.)
Above right: Is baby ready for her bedtime story? Once upon а
time, there was а nice man in а lamb-suede shirt, about $265,
worn with matching double-pleated slacks featuring side buckles
and vide tapered legs, $275, both by Pierre Cardin Relax; plus
ап iridescent silk tie, from Chaps by Ralph Lauren, $18.50; and
knit suspenders, from Country Roads by Robert Stock, $5. (Her
nightie by Fernando Sanchez.) Right: Tea for two and two for
wha knows what when he's wearing a shawl-collored sleeveless
tweed cardigan, $200, over a ribbedstrim turtleneck, $150, both
by Jean-Baptiste Caumont; and tapered-leg wool tweed slacks, by
Aldo Valentini, $110. (Her suit and blouse by Gianni Versace.)
156
Above: Ah, the good life! Champagne, caviar and,
best of all, a /wool tweed patterned pullover
sweater with side-buttoned stand-up neck and ribbed
cuffs and waist, about $80, worn with a silk/cotton
Patterned shirt with rounded tab collar, about $65,
and wool tweed slacks, about $110, all by Alan
Rosanes for Dakota. (His lady’s dress by Stephen Bur-
rows for Pat Tennant; her shoes from Maud Frizon.)
Right: Porting is such sweet sorrow—especially when
she's getting turned on to your shawl-collared wool
tweed pullover, $135, wool tweed vest, $45, wing-
collared flannel shirt, $45, and solid tie, $18.50, all
by Alexander Julian; plus a pair of wool twill slacks
with an extension waistband and double-pleated
front, from Trousers by Barry, about $90. (Her night-
shirt by Fernando Sonchez; jewelry from Gindi)
PRODUCED BY HOLLIS WAYNE/ PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIM LEE
it took
the bizarre death
of publishing heir
john ile a
to open has
closet door
article By ARTHUR BELL
KINCS
DON'T
EAN
A
THING
LASHBACK, three months. A
man parks his саг on 2lst
Street near the Dorchester
and waddles toward Spruce—
woozy, been drinking since noon. He
is humming Brazil. It is always Brazil.
Not the Aurora Miranda Brazil but the
Ritchie Brothers’, “ "We stood beneath
an amber mo-o-on.' ”
As usual near midnight, the activity
has just begun on this Philadelphia
street. The man warily surveys the new
Artist Vincent Topazio combines the ac-
tual and the symbolic in his rendering of
the people, events and artifacts involved
in the murder of publishing heir John
Knight. The inset pictures of Knight (at
upper left) and his assailants (bottom,
left to right), Steven Maleno, Felix Me-
lendez {killed by his accomplices) and
Salvatore Soli, were done from photos
that appeared in Philadelphia news-
papers after Knight's death. For the rest,
Topazio had to rely on written accounts
of the crime and his own imagination.
PLAYBOY
160 cery clerk
autumn crop. Tank tops of summer have
been replaced with checkered shirts and
work boots. Young men decked out as
constuction workers who have never
seen a crane. It used to be glitter. Glitter
and be gay. Now it’s swagger and be
butch. Beneath that pierced ear, behind
that strut lies the soul of a hairdress«
he thinks. These are not his kind of men.
None of this is him.
He is diflerent. Swings both ways. Cer-
tainly, absolutely, not one of them. Dab-
bling in perversity, playing ticktacktoc
in the nether world is one thing. Being
like them is something he would never
admit to himself.
‘Are you all right?
yan dress-alike.
John Knight opens his eyes. He nods
his head. The inquisitor stands close,
puts his arm to Knight's elbow but is
shrugged away.
"Im OK,” he answers.
“Just being friendly,” says the stranger.
“I'm all right. Just need another
drink.”
Down Spruce. More of them. А pa-
rade. Who are they? Where do they come
from? Near the Warwick Hotel, he cuts
off a side street and enters the 247 Bar.
Cowboys, leathermen, telephone repair-
mcn, ditchdiggers—only by night. By
day, copywriters, space salesmen, book-
keepers, shoe clerks, He stays for a dou-
blc, then splits.
At D5th and Spruce, lined up like
cloned derivations of Joan Blondell in a
Busby Berkeley production number, are
several boys, some of them pretty, if you
can see through the acne, They are the
youths of the evening and the Warner
brothers would turn over in their graves.
He eyes the chorus line. He says hello
to one of the kids with whom he had
once tricked, The kid breaks from his
frozen-pose position, smiles, his teeth in
need of a good orthodontis
"What's up?" the kid asks.
“I'm horny as hell,” Knight repli
The kid stares at Knight's lower lip
and suggests they go somewhere. Knight
rejects the idea.
“I've got a friend," says the kid. “Some-
one new to the street. 1 can fix you up
with him, and if it works, you pay me
thirty dollars. Pay nothing to him. If it
doesn’t, pay me ten dollars. No hassle.”
“Sounds good.”
Slowly, the two men walk the four
Dlocks, past the Allegro, where the estab-
lished Philadelphia homosexual carouse:
past Roscoe's, where the liberated homo-
sexual adjourns alter his gay-activist
mecting. They stop at the Hasty-Tasty
Deli. Signs on the window announce a
gay dance, a dog lost, a roommate
wanted. Inside, the cashier and the gro-
Ik in “get you, honey" lingo.
asks a Paul Bun-
‘The customers are friendly а
is brightly lighted. People actually сап
see what they're cating—and each other.
The kid sces his friend at the rear
table.
“Felix,” he says, “this is Joh
Felix offers his hand. It is a long hand
and he drops it into John's the way a
haberdasher would slip a tie into a
box.
John sits down. He asks Feli
like another coflec, He orders three.
Felix is quiet, the kid chatty, John
sulky
Felix whispers, “Is this guy drunk?"
The kid replies, "No, he's high; he's
usually that way.” He turns to John. “Do
you like Felix?”
John nods.
“So it's a deal?”
“It's a deal. Here.
John pulls a couple of 205 from
pocket and asks the kid to take care of
all the negotiations and keep the cl
Five minutes later, a sullen
Melendez and an impatient [John Knight
leave Hasty-Tasty for Knight's $10:
month apartment in the Dorchester on
Rittenhouse Square.
If we are to believe what Melendez
ter told the kid, “Nothing happencd.
We smoked a joint, then that guy John
fell asleep. 1 stayed the night and he
cooked me breakfast.”
P
у on the morning
d the place
of December 11,
ngs at the house
where I'm staying in Provincetown. I've
asked my New York answering service to
be cautious about routing the Province-
town number, to give it out only in case
of emergency.
‘The call is from ‘Tom Morgan, editor
of The Village Voice. No apologies,
yous. Straightaway, he asks,
been following this John
I don't know what he's
talking about, After all, I'm on. vaca-
tion, enjoying the offseason quiet of
P'town, walking the sandy beaches, retir-
ing early, and. who the hell is John
Knight? I tell Morgan that I haven't seen
a paper or heard а radio since leaving
New Yor
ver mind," he says. "In a nutshell,
the heir to the largest newspaper chain
in the country got himself killed on Sun-
ү. It looks like a homosexual thing,
perhaps a It’s got all
he earmarks of а great story: money,
power, the works. They haven't caught
the Killer yet. Can you get your ass on a
plane to Philadelphia and check it out?”
I hem and haw. On vacation, Away
from my regular beat: the Foice column,
the murder stories, coverage of the ga
lib scene. Don't know a thing about John
Knight. Don't know. Philadelphi
Morgan is a con man with an irrcsi:
no how.
"Hav
manner. Flattery works on writers. And
this writer doesn't ordinarily ponder
whether that flattery is false or sincere.
‘Two hours latcr, I'm on one of those
six-passenger shuttle jobs, flying south of
the Provincetown sunset, and by nine
rat., I'm in the City of Brotherly Love,
where the streets are painted red, white
and blue in preparation for the Bicen-
tennial; and the closest thing to beach
dl sand is a poster at the ла
lines terminal advertising а winter vacii-
чоп in Miami.
Philadelphia. Former home ot P:
е of the Cary Grant, K;
Hepburn, J y
Frank Rizzo. 7 a Flyers.
The Liberty Bell. Marian Anderson
Joseph Kallinger. The town that rolls
up its lawns at six Р.М. and closes shop
on Sundays.
I check into the Warwick,
hostelry two blocks from the Dorchester
apartment where Knight lived and died.
Room service brings up a Jack Daniel's,
а ham and cheese on rye, plus the latest
Inquirer, Bulletin and News, As ¢
pected, Knight's demise is emblazoned
on the front pages. Each of the dailies
has an exclusive story. The News, where
he worked as an editor, plays up the
“regular Joe” angle, Paul Janensc
s managing editor, is quoted. as
saying, "He loved the newspaper bu
ness and all aspects of it... . He was a
hard-working guy who took instructions
sedate
victims are usually painted as
ts and one reads the gushy post-
tem prose with a certain amount of
cynicism. Yet there seems to be a holding
back in the copy, as if the papers
trying to solt-pedal Knight's homosex-
uality, Г they don’t want to deal with
it unless they are forced to, as if it isn't
kosher to bring someone out of the closet
after death, especially if that someone
happens to be а budding Citizen Kane.
But between the lines are hints that
Knight's gayness was the key to his mur
der. Allusious to a "secret life," a scarch
through. Philadelphia's underground. for
possible suspects, run through the reports.
Iso rumors about diaries de-
tailing his sizzling sex life.
Having digested the papers, I leave
the hotel, hail a cab and journey to
police headquarters.
as is just around the corner. At
Homicide, holiday tackiness cov the
walls. A blue Christmas wee with silver
bulbs, silver ti nd angel's hair stands
next to an Ame flag, and. next to
that stands Chief Inspector Joseph Gold
in charge of detectives on the Kr
case. My timing is perfect. Golden is just
about to announce the identity of the
Knight killers at a press conference. I'm
(continued on page 196)
ur К
~
~
“Hazim, couldn’t we spend a few days
in Baghdad without your mother?”
161
eyes Ps
ERP of AFE
Girls Pac ЛӨ
Part I
coeds from five тоте far west schools
confirm that horace greeley gave good advice
IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T been paying attention, last month we brought you ten pages
of coeds from five schools in the N.C.A.A.s far-Western Pac 10 Conference. This
month we bring you ten more pages of coeds from the remaining five Pac 10
schools—the University of Southern California, Stanford University, the Uni-
versity of Arizona, Oregon State University and Washington State University
we said last month—and pay attention this time, (text continued on page
The three T-shirted
USC coeds are (from
left to right) Suzanne
Birket (“Му hobbies
оге tennis, baseball,
doncing and act-
ing”), Kirsten Reed (a
journalism major
who pilots gliders in
her spare time) and
Wanelle Fitch ("I like
tall, muscular, strong
men"). University of
Arizona sophomore
Helen Hestenes (right)
is а psych mojor
and а member of the
university’s French
Club, Movie Review
Board and Ciné Club.
®
bf
b
гр”
USC's Julie Lynch (right), an
art major, is entering her soph-
omore yeor with a solid 3.6 grade
point average. A poli-sci major ot
Stanford, Renée Masi (far right)
has lived in Italy and Englond most of
her life ond hopes to get a job in
164 Washington, D.C., offer grodvotion.
A native of Pennsylvania, University of Arizona coed
Poulette Spirit (left) intends ta start her own business
someday. An onimalscience majar ot Washington
Stote, Beth Funner (below) is planning on putting her
education to goad use; she intends to raise top-quolity
horses professianally. Beth’s hobbies, besides horses, are
skiing, driving exatic cars and playing pocket billiards.
A psych mojar ot the University of Arizona, Lindy Edwards (above left) participates in three
aquatic sports—swimming, woter polo ond synchronized swimming—and hopes to enter the A.AU.
ational competition in swimming someday. Says USC sophomore Marilee Buster (above right), “Му
best subject is sociology ond my моги is math.” Marilee would like to get into the publi
relations field offer college. Another psych major, Oregon Stote University coed Sarah
Henry (below) likes to water-ski and play pinball ond racquetball in her off hou
"Eventually, I'd like a
career in broadcasting ar in
USC senior Nancy Amons
(lef). А broadcast-
incredible 3.8 G.P.A.,
Nancy is on the staff of the
school newspaper, The
Daily Trojan. Another super-
ambitious miss is University
of Arizana’s Erica Edwards
(below), с marketing
major whose goal is to be a
corporate executive.
When it comes to social
“| prefer intelligent,
ambitious, perceptive men,”
Erica infarms us.
amet
үү
ii
Т
|
“I'm a bat girl for our varsity
baseball team," says USC soph
liso Lewis (lef), who wants to
go to grad school and even-
tually get into the fashion busi-
nes. Part-time model Victoria
Cooke (bottom left) enjoys
camping, running ond water-ski-
ing when she’s not ottending
classes at the University of Arizona.
"Та love to be on ostro-
naut," soys Washington
State coed Martha Thomsen
(left), whose hobbies
include body surfing, draw-
ing, pointing, bosketball
and softboll. A German-
languoge mojor ot
Stanford, Laurel Haniman
(below) speaks French,
Spanish and German fluently
ond oims for a career that
involves “lots of travel.”
A fight end on Stan-
ford's intramural football
team (femole squad), Denise
Bradley (obove left) wants to be-
come a marketing speciolist or a cor-
poration lawyer. Donna Marie Borrington
(below), а member of the interdorm volley-
boll team, is а senior at the University of Arizona.
Oregon State's Karen Blessing.
(above) is a business-administration
major. Voted Best Dressed (and,
she claims, Best Undressed) by her
class, Toni Turner (right) majors in
broadcasting at Woshington Stote
and has done news commen-
tary for а Spokane TV station.
W^
“All right, who slipped me the rubber knife?"
a tale of silent cunning
from Certain Tragicall Discourses,
by Matteo Bandello, 1567
IN BYGONE DAYS, there was an entrancing
lady in Naples called Zilya. Because
she was half Saracen, she was arrogant
and cruel and because she м half
napoletana, she was clever and lovely
beyond compare—or at least that was
the way those who knew her explained it.
The beauty first and next the cruclty
struck many young men, but the worst
wounded was a gallant named Virley, a
man of wit and talent who cut such a
fine figure, such a bella figura, that he
might have stocked a whole harem with
the ladies who sighed at the sight of him.
Zilya only laughed in his face.
She was no woman to offer her golden
maidenhood to any man. In fact, it was
gold only that made her feel warm with
passion. She had inherited a mercer’s
business from her father and had made
it more prosperous. When she ran her
fingers through the gold coins in her
g room, she felt a fire in her loins.
ley persisted. Zilya would per-
mit him to call at her house, where
she always received him charmingly
dressed—and abundantly dressed, but
always with one tantalizing oversight.
One day it would be just a glint of
shite bosom beneath some carelessly
anged lace; another, it would be the
silk gown that apparently clung to the
curve of her thigh with nothing between.
And Virley breathed in the false hope.
Surely, he thought, there was a subtle
promise in the way she moved, an
enticement in the way she turncd her
back, drawing the skirt tight so that it
clung like the skin of grapes to those
fine globes bencath her waist. And Virley
would go on with his anxious wooing.
In the end, Zilya wearied of the game.
“Sir,” she said, "you are like a rain
cloud. You burden the air with your
‚ but I am mine own woman, Go
d darken some other room.’
the gallant
replied, “If I do so, will you at least
give me a parting kiss for my love and
hed the laugh of a Saracen
captain belore he puts his knife to his
prisoners throat. "Agreed," she said,
"but you must give a forfeit if you truly
love me, a promise to do what I say."
"Yes!" said Virley in his folly and,
taking her in his arms, he put his warm
lips to her cool ones, thinking that he
could breathe life into this beautiful
statue, then told her that his life had
be i
gun again.
She pulled away and yawned. “How
my е; che!” she said. "How you have
made them ache all these months. So, to
ease the listening of other women, I tell
Ribald Class
you for forfeit that you must now re-
main totally silent for seven years.”
ley was struck doubly dumb. He
boiled with anger. But he was a man of
ply withdrew from
assent, and went
home to arrange his affair
He sought out a clever servant named
Pietro, who could speak French, and,
with him, took ship for France. There,
posing as a man who had been wounded
in battle wi and had lost his
power of speech, he took service with the
king. For seven long years, with courage
the field and wisdom in the council—
where he would write out his opinion
Tor Pietro to translate—he distinguished.
himself in the affairs of the crown. The
French king grew to depend on him,
grew fond of him, pitied him. Finally,
he decided to proclaim to all of Europe
a reward of 10,000 livres to any doctor
or healer who could cure his good cap-
tain and restore his voice. So many
charlatans then flocked to Saint-Denis
that the king added а codicil—those who
iled to cure within 15 days must pay
with their lives.
Virley made certain that the news of
the reward was published in Naples.
When Zilya heard of it and heard his
name, she knew that God had put 10,000
livres into her hands.
When she
at the French
court, she dem: to be closeted
alone with the patient to elect his cur
They stood gazing at each other for a
space and Zilya contrived to have tears
glisten in her eyes. She had never looked
more beautiful. In a voice filled with
ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND
emotion—for the thought of 10,000
livres is a moving one—she exclaimed
that she had suffered from her cruelty
as much as he and that she now released
him from his promise.
But Virley spoke not a word.
She began to feel a cold fear. It was
no longer her maidenhead at stake but
her very head. She reached down slowly
and unlaced her bodice and her breasts,
ripe as apples, appeared to view.
Virley did not move or make a sound.
Desperately, she slipped off her gown
and stood naked before him, all the
treasures of curve and cranny she had
hoarded till then laid barc.
Presently, the king and his men in the
corridor outside heard a voice cry out.
Then they heard moans, of passion it
seemed; but when they went to the door,
the one voice was that of a woman.
just at midnight on the 15th day,
Zily ken away to prison. Just
after midnight, Virley spoke in a voice
ating and creaky from disuse and told
strange tale.
The king gave a robust laugh. “Why,
here is a vengeance, indeed!” he said.
nce she has cured you, I grant her
the reward. But since she failed to ac
complish that within the given time,
her life is still forfeit. And since I
trust you, I give that life over into your
hands. Take her home to Naples; keep
her out of the counting room; and, as
for your future conversation, I advise
that you make her moan prettily at least
seven times a week—one moan for each
г of your silence,
—Relold by Kenneth Marcuse
8 173
100% BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKIES, 86.8 PROOF.IMPORTED BY SOMERSET IMPORTERS, LTD..N.Y..N.Y.
WHEN THEIR WORK IS DONE,
EVEN THE LEAVES TURN TO RED.
JOHNNIE WALKER RED ГА
THE RIGHT SCOTCH WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE 7
2O QUESTIONS: CHERYL TIEGS
america’s hottest model and latest sex symbol turns out to be as quotable as she is beautiful
he following short interview was
conducted by frequent PLAYBOY con-
tributor John Hughes, who has known
Cheryl Ticgs for three years. He reports:
“We talked in the morning in her suite
at New York's Sherry-Netherland. Cheryl
had just showered and was fresh, bright
and scrubbed. She sat hunched over,
with her elbows on her knees, gestured
quently with her hands, smiled a great
deal and answered most of my questions
quickly and impulsively. 1 found her to
be a warm, intelligent woman who is so
beautiful that I'm sure she could stop an
elephant’s heart at 30 paces.”
1. praypoy: On a scale of one to ten,
how would you rate your looks?
mires: Compared with everybody else in
the world, I'd have to say ten. People
would kill me if I said an eight or a six
or a two. By my own standards—oh,
eight or nine. My ears stick out, but I
hide that.
2 PLAYBOY: If it were 1943, would you
want your likeness on the nose of a B-17?
mecs: Yes, yes. Because it would have
given them something to dream of. And
I like my image and so, therefore, I
would like for them to dream of me.
Part of my popularity is that Im a real
person, and I really don't have а cold
exterior, I have a warmth. So I think
that people want an image to look up to
that ts real, that is not untouchable.
3. PLAYBoy: There's old myth that
beautiful girls have ugly girls for best
friends. Do you?
aires: No, I have beautiful best fri
One is a model, one's in the fashion
business. I like beauty, but beauty
doesn't have to be physical beauty. I
don't just have pretty girls as friends,
but I don't have ugly people as friends.
4. PLAYBOY: What was your first model-
ing job?
mecs: I tried out for little beauty pag-
cants and never won. My best friend,
who was preti nd more charming
than I, was
nd
TEGS: So many people have told me that
1 should have one made, but I haven't
pursued іс. I don't know if I want tli
dcs very dehumanizing to be a doll. And
PHOTOGRAPHY BY BILL KING
I think that I've just spent the last 14
years being а mannequin, so I don't want
uh эре anymor
7. PLAYBOY: Was there some pivotal de-
cision that you made that really boosted
vour career to the top?
Tics: When I decided to do a poster.
All my fan leuers were from boys in high
school and college asking for posters. So
it was my idea, but 1 was discouraged by
1 agent who said I'd only get ten per-
cent, etc, etc. So I forgot about it for a
couple of weeks and I thought, Well, I'm
going to do it anyway. So I did i
8. PLAYBOY: In the Time cover story,
you appeared in a see-through fish-net
. Did you know it was see-
through beforehand?
tires: No, because I tried it on in the
dressing room and when it's dry, you
t see through it. I've taken many
picture in fish net before and you can't
sec through it, We were in the Amazon
and there was no way that 1 was going
to go into the water with the crocodiles
and piranhas. So I thought, OK, ЕШ wear
the suit. Well, it was sunset and the
5 so bad and the photographer
Please go in,” and I had never
scen a suit wet before and then it was
published and you could sce through
"There's no excuse. I'm not trying to say,
"Oh. my God, I didn't know that you
could see through it.” To me, it wasn't
that bad. but they got a lot of letters
from it. Americans are such puritans.
Nudity is not that bad, and it wasn't
nude and there was nothing provocative
about it. Even if I had known that you
could sec through it, maybe I would have
done il
nyway.
9. vLAYBOY: Your image is that of the all-
American girl. Are you happy about it
"itc: Yeah. I happen to be a lover of
America. I did this cheerleading spec
I was one of the judges, and all of a
sudden, I had tears in my eyes and I
was beaming. I mean, these beautiful
kids did their cheerleading and it w
just so all-American—they were so cle
cut and so beautiful. And 1 thought, If
you did that in some foreign country, it
just wouldn't be the same. I really like
America. America is very healthy. The
Il-Americ ge? Yeah, I like it.
10. rLaysoy: Would you like to sing at
the White House?
"iris: Nobody's invited me. I can't sing
or dance.
11. PLAYBOY
For whom did you vote in
the last two Presidential elections?
tees: I voted for Carter the last time
and I was out of the country before that.
12. pLaysoy: Who were your childhood
heroes?
tics: I liked Pat Boone. He was so
dean-cut and all-American. Everybody
else was crazy about Elvis Presley
13. PLAYBOY: You weren't an Elvis fan?
tires: Not as much. At that time, Elvis
was the bad guy and Pat Boone was the
good guy. You know, black and white. 1
had a crush on Pat Boone.
14. PLAYBoy: Were you ever а brownie?
à brownie, then a girl scout.
Were you a good brownie
rl scout?
good girl. Not always, but . .. Yes, Т
I was very shy, but I was alw
y popular. | was always the tallest
girl in the class and that made me very
shy. I would slump down a little bit. But
1 was never an ugly duckling. I was never
I
y. Although I
ays wanted to be five feet, one
: Has any тап ever stood
you up or dumped you?
s onc boy in college I
was crazy about, but he wasn’t so inte
ested in me. We dated and we saw each
other, but I never really snagged him.
But other than that, it's a pretty good
record.
17. rLAYBO
school prom?
‘ites: Everybody always went to two or
three proms in high school. I only went
the last Т wasn't invited the other
ars 1 went the last year and I wa
prom princess and my best friend. got
prom queen.
18. FLAYBoy: Do you throw things when
you get mad?
‘vires: If I'm really angry at my husband,
FIL hit him in the arm or something like
that. I don’t throw things at walls. TI
throw a pillow at him or something. Im
always controlled. I wouldn't throw a
tennis racket at him or a knife or any-
thing like that. But I get angry enough
that 1 hit things.
19. PLAYBOY: Are you always as graceful
as you appear to bez
1 I spill everything. Every time I
cat, whatever I eat, I spill.
20. rraymov: One last question:
you marry me?
T No.
Did you go to your high
PLAYBOY
178
FALLING ANGEL
(continued from page 118)
“I took a bottle of morphine off the top shelf to
bait the hook and started upstairs."
cooking in the bathroom. How long have
you been hooked?”
"m not... an addict!" Dr. Fowler
sagged within the folds of his oversized
suit. He seemed to be shrinking before
my eyes. "What do you want with me:
Hc propped his head in his hands.
"Same thing 1 was after back at the
hospital" 1 said. "Information about
Jonathan Liebling.
Туе told you everything I know
"Doc, let's not kid around. Liebling
was never transferred to any VA hos-
pital. I know because I called Albany
myself and checked it. Not smart making
up a story as thin as that.”
Dr. Fowler groaned. “I knew it was all
over when he finally had a visitor. In
almost 15 years, there were never any
visitors, not one.”
"Sounds like a popular guy," I said.
Where is he now:
1 don't know." Dr. Fowler pulled
himself upright. It seemed to take all he
had in him to get the job donc. "I
haven't seen him since he was my patient
during the war."
"He must h
doctor."
“L have no idea where, Some people
came one night long ago. He got into a
car with them and drove away. I never
saw him aga
"Into a car? I thought he was supposed
10 be a vegetable."
The doctor rubbed his eyes and
blinked, "When he t came to us, he
was in а coma, But he responded well to
treatment and within a month was up
and around. We used to play table ten-
s in the afternoons.”
Then he was normal when he left
Normal? Hateful word, normal." Dr.
Fowler's nervous, drumming fingers
clenched into fists on the faded oilcloth.
On his left hand, he wore a gold signet
ring engraved with a five-pointed s
“To wer your question, Liebling was
not the same as you or me. After recover-
ing his senses, he continued to suffer
fre сше amnesia.
You mean he had no memor
"None whatsoever. Not even his name
meant anything to him. I said he left
with friends; I have only their word for
it about that. Jonathan Liebling didn't
recognize them. "They were strangers to
him."
"Tell me more about these friends.
Who were they? What were th
The doctor pressed his trembling
ave gone someplace,
names?
fingers to his temples. “It’s been so long.
rs. I've done my best to
"Don't you go pleading
me, doc."
There were two of them," he said,
speaking very slowly, the words dragged
out of the distance and filtered through
layers of regret. "A man and a woman, 1
can't tell you g about the woman;
staved in the car. I'd
never seen her before. The man was Ше
one who made all the arrangement:
"What was his name?”
“He said it was Edward Kelle
I made a note in my little black book.
“What about the arrangements you men-
tioned? What was the deal there?"
"Money." The doctor spat the word
out as if it were a piece of rotten meat.
“Isn't every man supposed to have his
се?”
amnesia оп
ty-five thousand dollars.”
"What did Kelley want for
money?"
“What you probably alr
discharge Jonathan Liebli
keeping a record. Destroy а
intain the pret
nt at Emma Harvest Memor
“Which is just what you did.”
“It wasn't very dilhicult. Aside from
Kelley, he never hı y
“What about the hospital? Didn't the
administration suspect it was missing a
patient?
Why should they? I kept his charts up
to date, week by weel nd every month
a check came from Liebling’s trust fund
to cover his expenses. As long as the bills
are paid, no one is going to ask tno many
questions. After a while, all I had to do
was fill out a legal affidavit that arrived.
cvery six months from a law firm in New
York."
“McIntosh, Winesap and Spy?”
“That's the опе” Dr. Fowler raised
his haunted eyes from the tabletop and
met my gaze
t to know
little things,
hobbies, how he liked his eggs. What
color were his eyes?”
7] can't remember.
Give me what you can. Start with a
physical description.
“I have no idea what he looked like.
“Don't cr h me, doc.”
I'm telling the truth. Young Li
p around w
bling
came to u
restoration.
Plastic surgery?
"Yes. His head was swathed in band-
ages for his entire stay. I wasn't the one
who changed the dressings and so had
по opportunity to see his face.”
I stood up and leaned against the
table. "Give me what you can about
Edward Kelley."
Its been a long time,
said, "and people chang:
"Having another amnesia attack?”
“Its been more than fifteen years.
What do you expect
“Doc, you're stalling me.” I reached
down d took hold of the knot in his
necktie. When 1 lifted, he came up to
meet me as easily as an empty husk.
“Save yourself some trouble. Don't make
me squeeze the truth out of you.
"I've told you all 1 can."
"Why are you shielding Kelle
I'm not. I hardly knew him. I——"
IE you weren't such an old fart, Td
bust you up like a soda cracker." 1
jerked the knot in his tie a touch tighter.
"Why wear myself out when there's an
easier way?” Dr. Fowler's bloodshot eyes
“You're in а cold
t, aren't you, doc? Can't wait to
nine the junk in your fridge.
veryone needs something to help
him forget," he whispered.
I don't want you to forget. I want
you to remember." I took him by his arm
and steered him from the kitchen.
“That's why we're going upstairs to your
room, where you can think things over
while I go out and grab a bite to eat."
“What do you want to know? Kelley
had dark hair and one of those thin
mustaches Clark Gable made popular.”
Not good enough, doc." I bullied him
up the stairs by the collar of his tweed
jacket. “A couple hours’ cold turkey
esh your ory.” 1 pushed
through the narrow door of his
Spartan room and he fell forward onto
the bed. "You think it over, doc.”
"Had perfect teeth. The most engag-
ing smile. Please don't
I closed the door behind me and
turned the long-handled key in the lock.
.
Tt was alter midnight when I got back
to Dr. Fowler's place. I let myself in the
front door and walked back through the
1 to the kitchen, The refrigerator
the shadows. I took a bottle of
morphine off the top shelf to bait the
hook and started upstairs. The bedroom
door was locked tight.
“Be right with you, doc," I called,
fumbling in my pockets for the ke;
brought you a little taste.”
I turned the key and opened the door.
Dr. Albert Fowler didn't d. He
was propped against the pillows, still
following intensive facial
the doctor
broadcast his fear.
sw
mea
aw
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PLAYBOY
wearing the brown herringbone suit. The
framed photograph of а woman was
clutched to his chest in his left hand. In
his right, he held the Webley Mark 5.
He was shot through the right eye.
Thickened blood welled in the wound
like ruby tears. Concussion drove the
other eye halfway out of its socket, giving
him the goggling stare of a tropical fish.
I touched the back of his hand. It was
cold as something hanging in a butcher-
shop window. Before I touched anything
else, I opened шу attaché case and put
on а pair of latex surgeon's gloves I took
from the snap-front pocket inside the lid
The door was locked and I had the key
in my pocket. Suicide was the only logi
cal explanation. “And if thine eye offend
thee,” I muttered, trying to put my fin-
ger on what was out of place.
I picked the leather-bound Bible off
the bedside table and an open box of
cartridges tumbled out onto the rug.
The book was hollow inside, а dummy.
I was the dummy for not finding the
bullets carlier. I picked them off the
floor, groping under the bed for strays,
and put them back inside the empty
Bible.
I went over the room with my hand-
kerchief, wiping cverything I had
touched during my initial search. The
Poughkeepsie police wouldn't exactly be
rmed by the idea of an out-of-town
private eye bullying one of their prom
nent citizens into suicide. I told myself if
it was suicide, they wouldn't look for
prints and kept on wiping.
The drive back to the city provided
plenty of time for thought. I didn't like
the idea that I had hounded an old man
to his death, It was a bad mistake locking
him up with a gun like that. Bad for me,
because the doc had a lot more to tell,
1 tried to fix the scene in my mind like
a photo. Dr. Fowler stretched on the bed
with а hole his eve and his brains
spread across the counterpane. The
framed photograph from up on the
burcau was locked in the doctor's cooling
grip. His finger rested on the revolver's
trigger.
No matter how many times I went
over the scene, there was something miss-
ing, a piece gone out of the puzzle. But
which piece? And where did it fit? I had
nothing to go on but my instincts. A
ging hunch that wouldn't let go. I
was sure Dr. Albert Fowler's death was
not suicide. It was murder.
.
fonday morning was fair and cold, It
was a little after ten when I unlocked
the inner-office door. The usual bad news
across the street: "NEW IRAQ ATTACK ON
SYRIA ALLEGED . . . GUARD WOUNDED IN
BORDER INCURSION BY BAND OF 30, .,." I
phoned Herman Winesap's Wall Street
law firm and the machine-tooled secre-
180 tary put me straight through.
"And what might I do for you today,
Mr. Angel?" the attorney asked, his voice
smooth as a меоед hinge.
“I tried calling you over the weekend,
but the maid said you were out at Sag
Harbor.
“I keep a place there where I сап
relax, No phone. Has something impor-
tant come up?"
“That information would be for Mr.
Cyphre. I couldn't find him in the phone
book, either.
"Your timing is perfect. Mr. Cyphre is
tting across from me this very moment.
IIl put him on.
There was the muflled sound of some-
one speaking with his hand over the
receiver and then I heard Cyphre's pol-
hed accent purring on the oth
So good of you to call, sir,” he
I told him most of what I'd learned in
Poughkeepsie, leaving our the death of
Dr. Fowler. When I finished, 1 heard
only heavy breathing on the other end.
1 want you to find him," Cyphre said.
“I don't care how long it takes or how
much it costs, I want that man found."
“That's a pretty tall order, Mr. Cyphre.
Fifteen years is a long time. The trail is
bound to be cold as ice. Your best bet
would be the Missing Persons Burcau
"No police. This is a private matter. I
don't want a lot of nosy civil servants.”
Cyphre's voice was acid with patrician
scorn.
“They've got the manpower for the
job." Е said. "Favorite could be any-
where in the country or abroad. I'm just
one man on my own. 1 can't be expected
to accomplish the same results as an
organization with an international infor-
ion network.
The acid in Cyphre's voice grew more
corrosive. "What it boils down to, Mr.
Angel, is simply this: Do you want the
job or not? If you are not interested, I
will engage someone else.”
"Oh, Em interested, all right, Mr.
Cyphre, but it wouldn't be fair to you as
my client if Т underestimated the diffi-
culty of the project." Why did Cyphr
make me feel like a child?
“What I want you to do is get started
right away, I'll leave the approach up to
you. Do whatever you think best. The
key to the whole operation, however,
must remain discretion.”
"I can be discreet as а
when I try,” I said.
"Em sure you can, Mr.
ustructing my attorney to make
out a check for five hundred doll:
advance.
I said that $500 would certainly
care of things and we hung up. The urge
to crack the office bottle for a self-
ulatory toast was never stronger,
king before lunch was bad lud
father-confessor
Tin
I started by calling Walt Rigler, a re-
porter I knew over at the Times. “What
can you tell me about Johnny Favorite?”
1 asked, after the prerequisite snappy
patter.
“Johnny Favorite? You must be kid-
ding. Why don't you ask me the names
of the other guys who sang with Bing
Crosby in the Rhythm Boys?
“Seriously, can you d
on him?’
тп sure the morgue has a fil
me five or ten minutes and ГЇЇ ha
stuff ready for you.”
“Thanks, budd
on you.”
He grunted goodbye and we hung up.
I finished my cigar while sorting the
morning mail, mostly bills and circulars,
and closed up the office. The Times
Building on 43rd Strect was just around
the corner. I took the elevator to the
newsroom on the third floor and gave
Walt's name to the old man at the recep-
tion desk. He appeared from the back in
shirt sleeves with his necktie loosened,
like a reporter in the movies.
We shook hands and he led me into
the newsroom, where a hundred type-
writers filled the cigarette haze with their
staccato rhythms, I followed him through
the clatter to his desk in the middle of
the room. A fat manila folder sat in the
top wire basket of the desk tray. I picked
it up and glanced at the yellowed clip-
pings inside. “OK if Е hang on to some
of this stuff?” I asked.
"House rules say no. But I'm going
out to lunch. Try not to lose anything
and my conscience'll be clean."
Most of the old clippings were not
from the Times but from other New
York dailies and a selection of national
magazines, Favorite was ап abandoned
child, A cop found him in a cardboard
box with only his name and “June 2,
1920," the date of his birth, pinned in a
anything up
Give
thc
T knew F could count
note to his receiving blanket. He was
raised in an orphanage in the Bronx and
was on his own at 16, He was "discov-
nd
15-piece
ered” by Spider Simpson in 1938
soon was hcadlining with a
orchestra.
I sorted through the material, making
a small pile of the stuff I wanted to keep.
Two photos, one a studio glossy of Favor-
ite in a tuxedo, his hair pomaded into
а frozen black wave. The agent's name
and address were rubber-stamped on the
Ж: WARREN WAGNER, THEATRICAL REP-
RESENTATIVE, 1619 BROADWAY (THE RRi
BUILDING). WYNDHAM 9-3500.
The other glossy showed the Spider
Simpson orchestra in 1940. Johnny stood
10 one side, with hands folded 1
a choirboy. The names of all the sideme:
were written in beside them on the print.
1 borrowed three other items. The first
(continued on page 188)
WHEELS FOR THE
MAN WHO THINKS BIG
what with everything in detroit being down-sized, a guy is going to
have to look elsewhere for transportation in the grand manner
modern
living
By DONALD
CHAIKIN
ч
Climb aboard a 10’-high Peterbilt cab-over- LAMBORGHINI mura? Here? In God's coun-
engine ten-wheeler and you know you're king way. No self-respecting man of the
of the road, At stop lights, lean out ond leer world, man of women, man with real hair
at the serfs. Who's gonna argue? Price: $40,000. on his balls would call on a ladyfriend in that
roller skate.
Alfa Veloce Spiders, Porsche Targas, Ferrari GTs
and Aston Martin DB-8s are all fine for teenagers,
fine for cutting teeth on—nice playthings until a
man has matured enough to take his rightful place
PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD IZUI in the world. When he has made it up the ladder
Above: Heods will turn when you pull up to
the party in your fire-engine-red, 25,000-
pound American Lafronce pumper that can
deliver up to 1500 gollons of your fovorite
liquid refreshment per minute forced through
a three-inch hose. The price is a bell ringer,
too: $75,000. Opposite, top: Sixty-four thou-
sand big ones will get you whot many feel
is the ultimote road mochine—on Autocar
dump truck thot's just right for getting your
ashes houled. Or, if cement is your bog,
there's always the Crane Corrier Company's
U.S. Speciol model at right, with its sexy
опе-топ cob. Many consider it the ultimote
martini mixer for those who like them shok-
en, not stirred. Only about $75,000. Cheap!
big step upward and climb into the per-
fect personal vehicle for today’s man. He
should not aspire to an exotic foreign
machine whose power will first be emas-
culated by the Federal emission stand-
ards and then castrated by the gasoline
situation. No, he should look for a domes-
tic name—such as Kenworth, or Diamond
Reo, or White Freightliner or Peterbilt.
The personal vehicle for today's man in
today's world.
How many of us, tooling along the free-
way in a more mundane machine, have
n blasted off the road by a tractor
trailer tearing by with earthshaking fe-
rocity? Think of how those same tractors
would perform without the burden of a
trailer—or two—in tow. A diesel tractor
without the trailer—the ultimate driv-
ing experience. Imagine the thrill testing
your driving skill to the utmost, taking
your Peterbilt along the Pacific Coast
Highway or through the Vermont hills.
Envision the superb handling, with ten
wheels on the road, and the taut suspen-
sion, including a front axle rated at
12,000 pounds, all in that neat, short
wheelbase. Imagine—18 forward gears
and two reverses in that crisp Fuller
gearbox. Why, you'd be able to teach
Nuvolari a few things.
Why settle for а small, finicky, dual-
overhead-cam engine, with its moody
Weber carburetors, when you can get a
turbocharged Caterpillar diesel with a
displacement of almost 1100 cubic inches,
weighs only a bit more than 3000 pounds,
puts out 450 horsepower and twists our
more than 1350 foot-pounds of torque?
Torque, as you know, is what makes
things move—and it will move your
15,000-pound Pete alcag fast enough to
Set a ticket anyplace you take it. Of
course, you may not want the Cat
3408PTCA in your Pete; you may choose
a Cummins engine, also turbocharged
for more power and less noise from
those gleaming, solidly crect exhaust
pipes. Or you may opt for the newest, the
Detroit Diesel 8V-92T. That's a V8 diesel
e with each cylinder displac
cubic inches to give you 130 horsepower
and enough torque to blow your mind.
As your selection of engines is myriad,
so is your choice of practically everything
else that goes into your custom-built
Peterbilt. For you, along with Pete's
gincers, decide which engine you want,
what size, which slick-shifting gearbo:
how many gears, whether you want two
or three axles (the extra tolls are well
worth it for that extra set of wheels),
which drive ratios you'll be happiest with
10 get the most satisfactory performance
from the rest of the drive line—whether
climbing the Rockies, cruising along the
imterstates or tooling around town. And
you'll find power steering worth it for
parking downtown. Then you decide
what appointments you want in that dis-
tinctive, taut aluminum body, painted
y one of Peterbil's more than three
dozen color combinations or, if you pre-
fcr, painted in a design of your own, in
ny colors you choose, to personalize the
vehicle and label it vov. In the interior
of that cight-footwide cab, you'll find it
well worth the extra $240 or so for an air-
cushioned driver's scat, a seat that makes
certain that the big steering. wheel will
never get in your way, no matter what
position you happen to find yourself in.
And it should never get in your мау
not with a $1040 airconditioned master
bedroom right behind the seat. It is im-
perative in this vehicle to have a twin-
sized bed, with piped-in stereo music,
climate controlled temperature and insu-
ated, cushioned walls (a perfect place to
hang your original Mucha poster). All
this goes wherever you do to comfort you
184 on those long nights out.
PLAYBOY
In addition to the driving excitement
that comes with owning a big purple
Pete is the just as real, and just as роже
ful, static excitement, Therc you arc, sit-
ting at a stop light, ten feet above the
road with а maze of switches and gauges
in front of you, around you and even
above your head, gauges and controls for
things that lesser men don't even. know
exist, let alone are necessary for the better
automotive life. Air pressure? Most men
think that has to do only with tires. Front
and rear driveline temperature? (What
the hell is that?) Sitting at an
tion on those threc-fooctall tires, wi
of course, aluminum wheels, and feeling
the power surging beneath уои]
ally—since you are actually sitting on top
of the engine, you can sec over the roofs
of the other vehicles to calmly survey the
traffic situation and, always, enjoy the
view, while all the other drivers can see,
in total frustration, is your chrome bump-
er, level with their windshields.
And so, as you and а ladyfriend roll
off, long into the night, perhaps two
states away, to catch The Maltese Falcon
at a drive-in where you are certain to be
the center of attraction, you know you
won't have to worry about running out
of gas, not with two chromed 100-gallon
addle tanks full of cheaper, plentiful
diesel fuel tucked under the cab. You
know you won't have to ruin every Friday
night waiting in line to fill up. No. you'll
be out on the road enjoying life. And
у to enjoy it, indeed. Watch-
ing a movie through that distortion-free,
fullcab-width, unique four-piece wind-
shicld—no squinting and nobody's roof
in your way—and you can even watch
from bed.
‘There is nothing to match this distinc-
tive, luxurious and yet so sporty Peterbilt
cab-over as the perfectly individualized
personal vehicle for today’s man and his
companion. You'll find it well worth its
over 510,000 price and six-month wait to
have it built just for you. But, alas, what
do you do when there are more than just
the two of you? The intimate tracto
trailer will not suflice. Then you must
tum to one of your other vehicles—say,
your fire engine,
What better way for the superb host to
ake a group of friends for an old-
med picnic than nand on—an
п La France pumper? You can
“not only carry all your friends, food and
other picnic diversions but you can also
carry and deliver all the liquid refresh-
ment anyone could desire. Think of it: a
beautiful Sunday in late August, а sunny
and warm morning that promises to be
not loo hot—w day for a picnic!
‘The only drawback is that almost every-
body else in town has the same idea and
those who haven't are on their way to the
beach. The roads are jammed past capac-
You, however, will be a model of
virtue in your single vehicle, conse
gallons of fuel, and you will be rew
for your unselfishness. You ca
that traffic by riding right down the fire
you have only to ring the bell
i nd if your town has the
Opticom emergency-traffic-control system,
you won't even have to do that; you'll be
able to change all your traffic 1
green as vou approach them. You'll be
out of tow nd out of traffic in no tim
And if the unforeseen happened, you
could have your picnic right therc on the
truck. By removing the 1500 feet of hose,
you would reveal more than enough
room for a party. Of course, if you order
a portable, light giving gasoline-powered
generator and accompanying spotlights,
you cam have that party well into the
night. And when the picnic is over, no
matter where you have it, Smokey the
Bear will not have any complaint with
the way you leave the arca, despite the
size of the bonfire.
In 1832, when John F. Rogers started
his fire-extinguisher company in New
York, he could not have imagined that
almost 150 years later his company would.
be turning out the epitome of elegant
yet practical fun vehicles—the Ameri
La France. The Century Series pumper,
powered by the venerable Detroit Diesel
six-cylinder diesel, offers such indispen-
sable features as a stainless-steel 500-
gallon booster tank that is warranteed
for five years, in this day of evershorte
ing and limited automotive warranties
The cab and pumper sections of this
truck are flex-jointed for improved road-
ability and handling. And in the luxuri-
ous cab, there direct heat to keep
you warm and comfortable in the most
adverse weather, as well as five separate
seats, each one having a fine view of the
road through optional clectric windows.
Offered, of course, are optional armrests,
along with your own gold-leaf decal de-
sign j 1, you'll want
the sh
ned oversized lighted chrome. pump-
gauge panel on the side of the truck
panel that conveniently swings out of the
way for servicing the double impeller
pump, capable of delivering 1500 gallons
of whatever liquid you may be serving,
per minute, forcing it through three-inch
hose, to make sure everyone gets his
share. Of course, the diamond plate
decks are all aluminum to end the peren
nial painting problem. And the siren, air
horns and bell are all chromed, so you
won't worry about corrosion, no matter
how wet it gets.
And, wet or dry, your fire engine al-
ways looks right. After all, how can it
miss, with all that stainless steel and
(concluded on page 270)
DE
ey
CHIVAS REGAL + 12 YEARS OLDWORL Bi
M
í
і = BLENDED SCO
MANY HAPPY RETURNS
Green textured cotton/royon shirt with spread button- It used to be that wing-collor shirts were worn only when you
down collar ond barrel cuffs, by New Mon, $40, goes with stepped out in soup-and-fish. Here, wings have been added
а loosely knotted narrow tie, from Barney's All-American fo a pinstripe shirt, from Pierre Cordin for Eagle Shirt-
Sportswear, $8. Haven't we heord that song before? mokers, $25. Under them is tweed tie, from Resilio, $12.50.
shirts with wing, round and buttondown collars worn
with narrow ties? who said you can’t go home again?
If you're the shy, retiring type, forget about this multi To round out your wardrobe, we suggest you try this vari-
color windowpone-ploid cotton/polyester shirt featuring o oble-striped polished-cotton shirt that hos о small curved
medium-spread collar and barrel cuffs, $18.50, that’s shown collar and barrel cuffs, by Hathaway, $28.50; warn with a
with o silk tie, $18.50, bath from Chaps by Ralph lauren. casually knotted narrow silk tie, by Vicky Davis, about $9.
PLAYBOY
FALLING ANGEL
(continued from page 180)
“The receptionist had large breasts and slim hips.
Her hair was on the brassy side of platinum.”
was a photo from Life. It was taken at
Dickie Wells's bar in Harlem and showed
Johnny leaning against a baby grand,
singing along with a Negro piano player
named Edison “Toots” Sweet. There
was a piece from Downbeat claiming the
singer went out to Coney Island once а
week whenever he was in town and had
his palm read by a gypsy fortuneteller
named Madam Zora.
The Jast item was a squib in Walter
Winchell's column dated 11/20/42 an-
nouncing that Johnny Favorite was
brcaking off his two-ycar engagement. to
Margaret Krusemark, daughter of Etha
Krusemark, the shipping millionaire.
1 shufiled all of this stuff together, got
a manila envelope out of the bottom
drawer and stuffed it inside. Then, on a
hunch, I dug out the glossy of Favorite
and called the number in the Brill Build-
i
ing stamped on the back.
"Warren Wagner Associates,”
swered a perky female voice.
I gave her my name and made an ap-
pointment to see Mr. Wagner at noon,
.
The Brill Building was at 49th and
Broadway. Walking up from 43rd, 1
tried to remember how the square looked.
the night I saw it for the first time. So
much had changed. It was New Year's
Eve of "43. An entire year of my life had
vanished. I was fresh out of an Army
hospital with a brand-new face and noth-
ing but loose change in my pockets.
Someone had lifted my wallet earlier in
the evening, taking all I owned: driver's
license, discharge papers, dog tags, the
works. Caught up in the vast crowd and
surrounded by the electric pyrotechnics
jars, 1 felt my past slough-
n. I had no
ation, no money, no place to
ind knew only that 1 was headi
downtown. That was when J saw the
lights in the Crossroads office and played
a hunch that led me to Ernie Cavalero
and a job I've never left.
Outside the Brill Building, a tramp
a tattered Army greatcoat pa
and forth, muttering,
bag,” to all who enter
directory and located Warren V
Associates, surrounded by dozens of song
pluggers, prize-fight promoters and fly-by-
night music publishers. A creaking ele-
vator took me to the eighth floor. The
ing when I opened
‘ou Mr. Angel?” she
asked, forming her words around a wad
an-
188 of gum.
I said that I was and got a card out
of my dummy wallet, It had my name
on it but said I was a representative of
the Occidental Life and. Casualty Corp.
The receptionist pincered the card b
tween fingernails as green and glossy as
beetle wings. She had large breasts and
slim hips and emphasized them with a
pink angora sweater and a tight black
skirt. Her hair was on the brassy side of
platinum. "Mr. Wagner will see you
right away," she said.
I said thanks and went in. The inner
office was half the size of the cubbyhole
outside. A cigarette-scarred wooden d
took up most of the floor space. Beh
it, a young man in shirt sleeves was shav-
ing with an electric razor. "Five min-
utes,” he said, holding up his hand, palm
outward so I could count his fingers,
І sat my attaché case on the worn
green rug and stared at the kid as he fin-
ished shavi: He had curly, rust-colored
hair and freckles. Beneath his horn-
immed glasses, he couldn't have been
much more than 24 or 25.
“Mr. Wagner?” I asked when he
switched off the razor.
“Mr. Warren Wagner?”
“That's right.”
“Surely you're not the same man who
was Johnny Favorite's agen
“You're thinking about Dad. I'm War-
ren, Junior
“Then it’s your father I'd like to
speak to.”
е out of luck. He's been dead
“What's this all about?" Warren
leaned back in his leatherette chair and
clasped, his hands behind his head.
“Jonathan Liebling is named a bene-
ficiary in a policy owned by one of ou
customers. This office was given as his
address,
Warren Wagner, Jr., started to laugh.
“That's terrific,” he snorted. “Really ter-
тїйє. Johnny Favorite, the missing heir.
"Quite frankly, I fail to sce the humor
in all thi
“Yeah? Well, lemme draw you a pic-
ture. Johnny Favorite is flat on his back
in a nut hatch. He's been а tumip for
nearly twenty years.”
y, that’s a wonderful joke. Know
any other good ones?”
"You don't understand," he said,
taking oft his glasses and wiping his eyes.
“Johnny Favorite was Dad's big score.
He sank every penny he had in the world
into buying his contract from Spider
npson. Then, just as he was riding
vorite got drafted. The Army
sends а million-dollar property to North
Africa and ships home a sack of potatoes.”
I stood up. "Can you give me the name
and address of the hospital where Favor-
ite is a patien
“Ask my secretary. She must have it
tucked away someplace.”
.
I rode the Seventh Avenue IRT one
stop to Times Square to save shoe leath-
er. After struggling out of my overcoat,
I sat down behind my desk and took a
look at the photos and clippings I'd been
lugging around. I stared at Johnny Fa-
vorite’s smarmy smile until I could no
longer stomach it, Where do you search
for a guy who was never there to begin
with?
The Winchell column was as brittle
with age as the Dead Sea Scrolls. I reread
the item about the end of Favorite's en-
gagement and dialed Walt Rigler’s num-
ber over at the Times.
"Lo, Walt,” I said. "It's me again. I
need to know some stuff about Ethan
Krusemark.
“The big-shot shipownei
“The very same. I'd like whatever
you've got on him, plus his address. I'm
especially interested in his daughter's
broken engagement to Johnny Favorite
ack in the early Forties.”
Johnny Favorite again. He seems to
be the man of the hour.
"He's the star of the show. Сап you
help me ou
“TH check with the Woman's News,"
he said. “They cover society and all its
dirty doings. Call you back in a couple
minutes.
са Local
ion of Mu-
sicians. After a bit of searching, they were
able to provide me with Cornelius “Spi-
der" Simpson's address and phone num-
ber in Los Angeles. All they had on
Edison Sweet was his nts number, but
I was in luck. Toots was currently play-
ing uptown at the Red Rooster on 138th
Street. Next, I tied Spider Simpson in
L.A. but connected with the maid. She
Mexican. I managed to leave my
name and office number, along with the
general impression that it was а matter
of importance.
I hung up and
before I lifted my hand. It was
Rigler. "Here's the poop," he said.
Krusemark's very top-drawer char-
ity balls, social register, all that sort of
thing. Has an office in the Chrysler
Building. His residence is number two
Sutton Place; phone numbers in the
book. You got that?”
І said it was all down in black and
white, and he went on. “OK. Krusemark
wasn't always so upper crust. He worked
After Walt hung up, I di
the phone rang
Walt
ow;
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PLAYBOY
as а merchant seaman in the early Twen-
ties and it's rumored he made his first
money smuggling bootleg hootch. He
started putting his own fleet together
during the Depression, all Panama regis-
try, of course."
"What about his daughter?" I asked.
"Margaret Krusemark; born 1922; fa-
ther and mother divorced in 1926. The
mother committed suicide later that same
year. Margaret met Favorite at a col-
lege prom. He was singing with the
band. Their engagement was the society
scandal of 1941. Seems that he was the
one who broke things off, though no one
knows why anymore. The girl was gen-
erally regarded as something of a crack-
pot, so maybe that was the reason.”
"What sort of crackpot?"
“The kind with visions. She used to
tell fortunes at parties, People thought it
was cute for a while, but it got too rich
for their blue blood when she started
casting spells.”
“Is this on the level?”
"Absolutely. She was known as the
Witch of Wellesley.”
“Where is she now?”
“No one I talked to seemed to know.
Society editor says she doesn't live with
her father and she’s not the type who
gets invited to the Peacock Ball at the
Waldorf, so we haven't got anything on
her over here. The last mention she got
in the Times was on her departure for
Europe ten years ago. She may still be
there.”
"Walt, you've been a big help. I'd start
reading the Times if they ran comic
strips."
I got the phone book out of the desk
and ran my finger down a page in the
K section. There was a listing for a
Krusemark, Ethan, and a Krusemark
Maritime, Inc, as well as а Krusemark,
M., Astrological Consultations. This one
seemed worth a try. The address was 881
Seventh Avenue. I dialed the number
and let it ring. A woman answered.
"I got your name through a friend,” I
said. "Personally, 1 don't put much stock
in the stars, but my fiancée is a true be-
liever. I thought I'd surprise her and
have both our horoscopes done."
“My desk calendar is completely clean
for the afternoon," she said, "so whatever
is convenient for you."
"How about right away? Say in half an
hour?”
“That would be wonderful.”
I gave her my name. She thought my
name was wonderful, too, and told me
her apartment was in Carnegie Hall. I
said I knew where to find it and hung
up.
.
I took the uptown BMT to 57th Street
and climbed the exit stairs that let me
190 Out on the comer by the Nedick’s near
Carnegie Hall. A bum shuffled up and
tapped me for a dime as I headed for the
studio entrance.
The lobby of the Carnegie Hall Stu-
dios was small and barren of decoration.
I got in the elevator and gave M. Kruse-
mark's name to an ancient operator who
resembled a Balkan army pensioner in
his ill-fitting uniform. He looked at my
shoes and said nothing. After a moment,
he shoved the metal gate closed and we
started up.
M. Krusemark's name was painted on
her door in gold letters and, beneath it,
an odd symbol that looked like the letter
M with an upturned arrow as a tail. I
rang the bell and waited. High-heeled
footsteps tapped on the floor.
"Yes?" asked a voice inside.
m Harry Angel" I said. "I called
earlier about an appointment."
"Why, of course. Just a minute,
please." I heard the chain sliding free
and the door opened. "Do come in,"
she said, standing aside for mc to enter.
She was dressed all in black, like a
weekend bohemian in a Village coffee-
house. Her catgreen eyes burned at me
from out of a pale, angular face. Walt
Rigler had indicated she was about 36
or 37 years old, but without any make-
up, she looked much older. Her only
ornament was a gold medallion hanging
from her neck on a simple chain. It was
an upside-down five-pointed star.
Neither of us said a word and I found
myself staring at the dangling medallion.
A five-pointed star was engraved on the
ring that Dr. Albert Fowler was no long-
er wearing when I found his body locked
in the upstairs bedroom. Here was the
missing piece in the puzzle.
The revelation hit me like an ice-water
enema, raising the hackles along the back
of my neck. What had happened to the
doctor's ring? It might have been in his
pocket; I didn't go through his cloth.
but why would he take it off before blow-
ing his brains out? And if he didn't re-
move it, who did?
I felt the woman's fox-fire eyes focused
on me. "You must be Miss Krusemark," I
said to break the silence.
1 am," she answered without smiling.
I saw your name on the door but
didn't recognize the symbol."
"My sign." she said, closing and relock-
ing the door. “I'm a Scorpio.” She stared
at me for a long moment, as if my eyes
were peepholes revealing some interior
scene. "And you?"
“Me?”
"What's your sign?"
“I don't really know," I sa
Ey's not one of my strong points.
“When were you born?”
“June second, 1920." 1 gave her John-
ny Favorite's birth date just to try her
out, and for a split second I thought 1
caught a faraway flicker in her intense,
emotionless stare.
“Gemini,” she said. “The twins. Curi-
ous; I once knew a boy born the very
same day."
"Really? Who was that?"
"It doesn't matter," she said. "It was
a long, long time ago. How rude of me
to keep you standing here in the hall.
Please come in and have a seat."
I followed her out of the murky hall
into a spacious, high-ceilinged studio liv-
ing room. There were ferns of all de-
scriptions and palms towering to the
ceiling. Greenery dangled from hanging
planters. Miniature rain forests steamed
within enclosed glass terrariums.
“Beautiful room,” I said, as she took
my overcoat and folded it over the back
of a couch.
“Yes, it's wonderful, isn't it? I've been
very happy here.” She was interrupted by
a sharp whistling in the distance. "Would
you like some tea?" she asked. "I just put
the kettle on when you arrived.”
“Only if it's no troubli
"No trouble at all. The water's al-
ready boiling.” She gave me a wan half-
smile and hurried off to deal with the
insistent whistling. I took a closer look
around.
Exotic knickknacks crowded every
available surface. Temple flutes and
prayer wheels, Hopi fetishes and papier-
máché avatars of Vishnu ascending out
of the mouths of fishes and turtles. An
obsidian Aztec dagger carved in the
shape of a bird glittered on a bookshelf.
I scanned the haphazard volumes and
spotted the I Ching, a copy of Oaspe
and several of the Evan-Wentz Tibetan
series.
When M. Krusemark returned carry-
ing a silver tray and tea set, I was stand-
ing by a window thinking about Dr.
Fowlers missing ring. She placed the
service on a low table.
I joined her on the couch. “That’s a
familiar face." I nodded at an oil por-
trait of an aging pirate in a tuxedo.
“My father, Ethan Krusemark.” Tea
swirled into translucent china cups.
"There was the hint of a roguish smile
on the determined lips, a glint of ruth-
lessness and cun eyes as green as
his daughters. "He's the shipbuilder,
isn't he? I've seen his picture in Forbes."
"He hated the painting. Said it was
like having a mirror that got stuck.
Cream or lemon?"
“TI take it straight, thanks.”
She handed me the cup. “It was done
last year. I think it's a wonderful like-
ness. Would you believe he's over sixty?
He always looked ten years younger than
his age. His sun is in trine with Jupiter,
a very favorable aspect.”
I let the mumbo jumbo pass and said
that he looked like a swashbuckling
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Y
PLAYBOY
captain in the pirate movies I'd scen as a
kid.
“Very true. When I was in college, all
the girls in the dorm thought he was
Clark Gable."
I sipped my tea. It tasted like ferment-
ing peaches. "My brother knew a girl
named Krusemark when he was at
Princeton," I said. "She went to Welles-
ley and told him his fortune at a prom."
“That would have been my sister, Mar-
" she said. "I'm Millicent. We're
. She's the black witch in the fam-
ily; I'm the white one."
1 felt like a man waking from a dream
of riches, his golden treasure melting
like mist between his fingers. "Does your
sister live here in New York?" I asked,
keeping up the banter. I already knew
the answer.
“God, no. Maggie moved to Paris over
ten years ago. Haven't seen her in an
age. What's your brother's name?”
The entire charade hung limply over
me like the skin of a deflated balloon.
“Jack,” I said.
“I don't remember Maggie ever men-
tioning a Jack. Of course, there were so
many young men in her life in those
days. I need for you to answer some ques-
tions." She reached for a leather pad-and-
pencil set on the table. "So I can do
your chart."
“Fire away.”
"You were born on June second,
1920," she said. "There's quite a bit I
know about you from that fact alone."
“Tell me all about myself.”
Millicent Krusemark fixed me with her
feline stare. “I know that you're a natural
actor," she said. "Playing roles comes
easily. Although you are deeply con-
cerned with discovering the truth, lies
flow from your lips without hesitation,
"Pretty good. Go on.
"Cruelty comes easily to you, yet you
find it inconceivable that you are so
gifted at hurting others. On one hand,
you are methodical and tenacious, but
by contrast, you place great stock in in-
tuition.” She smiled. "When it comes to
women, you prefer them young and
dark.”
“A-plus,” 1 said. “You were right on
the money.” And she was. She had it
down pat. Only one problem: wrong
birthday; she was telling my fortune with
Johnny Favorite's vital statistics. “Бо you
know where 1 can meet some dark young
women?"
"ГИ be able to tell a great deal more
once I have what I need." The white
witch scribbled on her note pad. “I can't
guarantee the girl of your dreams, but I
can be more specific. Here, I'm jotting
down star positions for your chart. Not
yours, really, that boy I mentioned.
Your horoscopes are undoubtedly simi-
Millicent Krusemark frowned, study-
ing her notes. “This is a period of great
danger. You have been involved in a
death quite recently, within a week at
least. The medical profession is involved.
Unfavorable aspects are very strong. Be-
ware of strangers.”
I stared at this odd woman in black
ible fear tentacles encircle
my heart. How did she know so much?
з that ornament around your
“This?” The woman's hand paused at
her throat like a bird resting in flight.
“Just a pentacle. Brings good luck.
Dr. Fowler's pentacle didn't bring him
much luck, but then, he wasn't wearing
it when he did someone take the
ring after killing the old man?
“I need additional information," Milli-
cent Krusemark said, her filigreed gold
pencil poised like a dart. "When and
where was your fiancée born? I need to
determine longitude and latitude."
I ad-libbed some phony dates and
places and made the ritual gesture of
glancing at my wrist watch before plac-
ing my cup on the table. We rose to-
gether, as if on a lift. “Thanks for the
tea.”
.
I dug out a cigarette on the way down
in the elevator and lit it as soon as I
hit the street. The March wind felt
cleansing. I walked slowly down Sev-
enth. trying to make sense out of the
nameless fear that had seized me back
in the astrologer's bosky apartment. I
knew it had to be a con, verbal sleight
of hand, like encyclopedia salesmanship.
“Beware of strangers.” That was the sort
of bullshit you got for a penny along
with your weight. She had suckered me
with her oracle’s voice and hypnotic eyes.
I took the rest of the afternoon off,
relaxing at a double fcatirc, and then
headed to Gallagher's and the best
steak in town. I finished my cigar and
second cup of coffee about nine, paid
my check and caught a cab on Broad-
way for the eight blocks down to my
garage. It was time to go uptown and
hear some music.
Crossing 125th Street, everything was
bright as Broadway. Farther along,
Small's Paradise and Count Basie's place
seemed alive and well. I found a park-
ing spot across Seventh Avenue from the
Red Rooster and crossed on the green.
The Red Rooster was plush and dark.
"The tables around the bandstand were
crowded with uptown celebrities, big
spenders with their bare-armed ladies
glittering beside them in a rainbow dis-
play of sequined, strapless evening
gowns.
I found a stool at the bar and ordered
a snifter of Remy Martin. Edison Sweet's
trio was on deck, but from where I
was sitting, I saw only the piano player's
back as he hunched over the keyboard.
Bass and electric guitar were the other
instruments.
The band was playing a blues, the gui-
tar darting in and out of the melody like
a hummingbird. The piano throbbed
and thundered. Above the moody, shift-
ing bass rhythms, Toots traced an intri-
cate lament, and when he sang, his voice
was bittersweet with suffering:
“I got them voodoo blues,
Them evil hoo-doo blues.
Petro Loa won't leave me alone;
Every night I hear the zombies
moan.
Lord, I got them mean ol’ voodoo
blues.”
When the set ended, I told the bar-
tender I wanted to buy the group a
drink. He filled their orders and nodded
in my direction.
The two sidemen picked up their
drinks, shot me a glance and moved off
into the crowd. Toots Sweet took a stool
at the end of the bar. I collected my
glass and made my way over to him.
“Just wanted to say thanks," I said,
climbing onto the next stool. "You're an
artist, Mr. Sweet."
“Call me Toots, son. I don't bite.”
“Toots it is, then.”
Toots Sweet had a face as broad and
dark and wrinkled as a slab of cured
tobacco. His thick hair was the color of
cigar ash. He filled a shiny blue-serge
suit to the bursting point, yet the feet
encased in two-tone black-and-white
pumps were as small and delicate as a
woman's.
“I liked the blues you played at the
end," I said.
“Wrote that one day in Houston, years
ago, on the back of a cocktail napkin.
He laughed. The sudden whiteness of
his smile sj his dark face like the end
of a lunar eclipse. One of his front teeth
was capped in gold. The white enamel
underneath gleamed through a cutout
shaped like an inverted five-pointed star.
It was something you noticed right away.
“That your home town?”
Houston? Lord, no, I was just visit-
wr
"Where're you from?”
“Me? Why, I'm a New Orleans boy,
born and bred. You're lookin’ at an am-
fropologist's dee-light. I played in Story-
ville cribhouses "fore I was fo-teen. I
knew all that gang, Bunk and Jelly and
Satchelmouth. I went up ‘de ribber' to
Chicago. Haw, haw, haw.” Toots roared
and slapped his big knees. The rings on
his stubby fingers Mashed in the dim
ight.
“You're putting me on,” I said.
“Maybe just a little bit, son. Maybe
just a little bit.”
(continued on page 246)
Hungarian-born Stephen Vizinczey's novel
In Praise of Older Women, which sold some
3,000,000 copies world-wide, is o sexual
odyssey involving over a dozen women. The
movie version can handle only seven, the
last of whom is Helen Shaver (at right),
playing newly liberated housewife whom
Andras, the film’s protagonist, meets in
1959 after having emigrated from
Hungary to Canada, where he has become
а philosophy professor—not to mention a
highly accomplished seducer.
OBSERVING
"OLDER
WOMEN"
from canada, a country
that usually exports hockey
players, comes a new film
that promises a very lovely —
and very warm—aulumn
Tom Berenger, Hollywood's new golden
boy, plays Andras—who begins his career
аз о womanizer under the tutelage of a
knowledgeable lover, Mayo—played by
Karen Black (center right). That all happens
during Andras’ student days in pre-
revolutionary Budapest; some years later,
Andras meets a frigid French journalist,
Alexandra Stewart (right), with whom he
gaes from tubbery to toe kissing. Berenger's
most recent role was as Diane Keaton's
murderer in Looking for Mr. Goodbor.
193
copropucer Robert Lantos and
director George Kaczender hope that
their film, In Praise of Older Women,
alter its September world premiere
in Toronto, will be the break-through
work that finally puts Canadian
movies on the map—with a boost
from its magnetic male star, Tom
Top: Shover (in Berenger’s embrace) is
anly 27—but manages to be convincing
in her role as a once-shy matran turned
seasoned swinger. “Helen and Tam hit it
off at once,” says directar George
Kaczender. “She did a dynamite screen
test—it was absolutely electrifying.”
194
Berenger. “For too many people,”
Lantos observes, “Canadianism is
identified with boredom.” Older
Women boasts a number of realistic
love scenes, but Lantos feels he won't
have censorship problems—except
maybe in Ontario. “After all, Pretty
Baby was banned there.”
French film buffs know Canadian-born
Alexandra Stewart (phatographed at right
exclusively for PLAYBOY) as a gifted, aris-
tocratic beauty wha appeared in Francois
Truffaut's Doy for Night and was once
directar Louis Malle's lady. Above, she's
abed with the seemingly tireless Andros.
PLAYBOY
196
Inu ишп ыз caca a
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SPERRY TOP-SIDER®
AUTHENTICITY HAS ITS OWN REWARDS”
KINCS
(continued from page 160)
*In South Philadelphia,
homosexuality means
drag queens."
ushered into a room where perhaps a
dozen reporters wait at the ready. Gold-
en solemnly nods at the group and places
himselt behind a desk. A potted poinset-
tia droops directly over his head. He
looks like a bruised angel with a scarlet
halo.
A fellow officer begins the conference
by passing photographs of the three sus-
pects to each of the newsmen, “Just a
few minutes ago," Golden says, "we ob-
tained warrants charging each of these
persons with murder, three counts of
robbery, attempted murder, aggravated
assault and criminal conspiracy. The
warrants are based on evidence obtained
during the police investigation.” Golden
describes each of the suspects, His infor-
mation is sparse:
Felix Melendez, aged 20, 5'9”, 135
pounds, slender build, green eyes,
shoulder-length hair, light complexion,
birthmark on the outer right thigh and
scar on abdomen.
Salvatore Soli, aged 37, 5'4", 128
pounds, slender build, brown cycs, dark
brown hair, mustache, dark complexion,
track marks on both arms, tattoos on
right forearm of two hearts and a dove
and the words мом AND DAD. Tattoos on
the left upper arm of a cross, a heart
and a rose.
Steven Maleno, aged 25, 5'9”, slender,
muscular, dark hair, olive complexion,
track marks, married.
Golden maintains that robbery was the
motive in the case, He doesn't comment
on whether or not the men are involved
in drug traffic or had homosexual in-
volvements. Nor does he talk about a
relationship between any of the men and
Knight. “All three are dangerous,” he
admits. "All three come from South
Philadelphia.”
Even with my fragmentary knowledge
of the city, that last reference to South
Philly says something about the sus-
pects. Mayor Rizzo hails from South
Philly. He's the former cop, the big hero
and the idol of the community, the local
boy who made good. They love it when
he returns in a limousine and waves to
them. Family honor is big there, too.
People protect their relatives. Call some-
one's sister a whore and you'll find your
head bashed in. No big deal is made of
the Mafia. It supports the community.
Better the Mafia than the liberal politi-
cians is the feeling.
Homosexuality in South Philadelphia
means drag queens. They're spottable.
‘They wear their gayness on the outside
and they're accepted as freaks of na-
ture. The toughs protect them. They
banter with them, “Hey, sweetie, who's
your date for tonight? Wanna give me a
blow job?
"It's not big enough, honey, I want a
real man.”
A man who is homosexual but dresses
ike everyone else and. passes is a threat
If a member of a South Philadelphi:
gang is suddenly discovered hanging out
with a homosexual for reasons other than
hustling, procuring or beating the d
lights out of him, his contemporaries
most likely rough him up and banish
him forever from the paternal breast.
Naturally, the h doesn't like fairies.
"hey're an abomination. It's right there
in the Bible. Check Leviticus. In South
machismo is all
105 been a long day. It is as
if Provincetown has never happened. 1
return to the Warwick and sleep.
.
The murder had taken place Sunday
morning. December 7, 1975. The evening
had started innocently enough with a
dinner party at La Trufle, which Knight
himself had hosted. His guests were Mr.
amd Mrs. Janensch and Dr. and Mr
John McKinnon.
If there was a purpose to the occasion,
it was to celebrate the McKinnons’ visit
to Philadelphia. McKinnon and Knight
had been roommates at Harvard in the
lue Sixties and had kept in touch
through the years, In fact, Kni
best man at the McKinnons wedding.
but the McKinnons had пог visited
Knight since he moved to Philadelphia
iore than a year before. They had
planned to stay the weekend as his house
guests, то be show nd the city by
him, to generally have a whiz-bang time.
Earlier that day, they had checked into
Knight’s apartment, rested, seen a bit of
the town, had a couple of cocktails, then
mbled off to La Trulfe. Dinner con-
sisted of four pheasants, which Knight
had shot in South Dakota a couple of
months before and which the restaurant
had prepared especially for him and his
guests.
As usual, there was plenty to drink,
and Knight played the debonair host as
he suggested the best Scotch before din-
ner, rare сз with cach course and
cordials to. climax the gourmet meal
Conversation was light, sometimes spar
kling: no one got drunk; giddy, perhaps,
but in full control.
At 12:20 AL, the Janensches said good
night, leaving Knight and the McKin-
nons free to return to his apartment
Once home, Dr. McKinnon and
Knight drank brandy and remi
about the old days—and Rosemar
Kinnon dozed off on her husband's lap.
nt was
а
Shortly after one А.м. the phone rang.
Knight answered, spoke to the caller
softly but with more than a hint of an-
noyance in his voice. The doctor over-
heard part of the conversation, He heard
Knight say, “I can't see you tonight. I've
got house guests.
When Knight hung up the phone, he
explained casually to McKinnon that
the call was from a procurer who set him
up with girls, It was an explanation that
needn't have been made, and опе that
embar her proper doctor-
About three AM., the phone r
again
ng
ight was more abrupt with the
caller this time. After hanging up, he
suggested that the McKinnons retire to
the guest room.
McKinnon speculated that Knight
might be having a girl come by. He and
his wife bade their chum good night—
both men were quite smashed by then—
and shuffled off to bed.
At four axu, the doorbell rang.
answered: It was the phone
Knight explained he couldn't let him in,
but the caller made a ruckus in the hall-
way, pleading. “I love you, John. T must
see you.
Eventually, Knight opened the door.
‘The man pushed past him, The man was
Felix Melendez, accompanied by Steven
Maleno and Salvatore Soli.
They forced Knight to his bedroom
en with his paunch, Knight was
strong as an ox and didn't give in easily.
Sull. he was tipsy. His targets were not
easily discernible. They overpowered
him. One of them knocked h head
against a Ming vase. Once he was down,
they used belts and ropes and socks to
his legs together and bind his
behind his back. They gagged his mouth
with his best silk neckties.
Then they ransacked the apartment.
In the guest room, they discovered the
McKinnons. Rosemary McKinnon w
ordered naked from the bed. The doctor
was unbudgeable. Too many drinks—he
was out I ht. The men did not
force him to awaken. Instead, Soli made
Mrs. McKinnon walk through the apart-
ment. open desk di
in the search for valuables, She remem-
bers that Soli had a hand gun and that
ndez roamed the apartment with a
poon gun and a scuba-diving knil
When she and Soli reached Knights bed-
w her host lying face down
the corner. He was not moving.
Ninety minutes into the chaos, the
doorbell rang. It was the Dorchester's
night attendant, who had come to report
that a neighbor was complaining that
she couldn't sleep due to the noise.
Melendez told the attendant that he was
Knights brother-in-law and that the two
were practicing karate. The attendant
(continued on page 221)
iwers and assist him.
MENS COLOGNE
Monsieur
Houbigant
Ade mounted AUS TORY
Ногепсе—по, not that Florence; Florence, Italy—in the 15th Century.
Get reddy.
Savonarola tried to set
the Renaissance back at least half an hour.
Bex Kids! You gone do PATY
Бъ xou gone loge all you &
198
RENAISSANCE ALL-STARS IN ACTION
Galileo
fas attention! I’m trying to prove that different weights
Sall at the-same rate of speed. When yell" ЕТ GO! 200 let go, too!
Sure! Т point vi
5
1o call it
the vibrator .
/ X
р
199
200
Johann Gutenberg Royal Personages
At \ast!..MOOFABLE TY Again? ButKing you've scored
"Maggie und Chiggs for thrice tonight already ^
A Thats not the half of it. Queen!
@ Why а you think thes call me,
Henry the EIGHTH? ^
ce
V)
PA
| Holy Smoke!
The heavens
descend!
[| Anyway whatdid you
expect? [t's only
the first coat!
| F Don't get "EDS
EVERY DAY IN THE EVERYDAY LIFE OF AN EVERYDAY RENAISSANCE MAN
Theology & Philosophy
Intellectual Curi
В
М
бес DEFENSES а.
The world..she's round like this
She's not flat like you, Queenie!
У "A ned
The desire
for exploration
and discovery
comes to Columbus.
To be continued.
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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR
MAN
©
WORK
HOW 1 GOT MY RAISE
The ill effects of inflation have prompted us to poll
some of cur better-heeled colleagues in hopes of picking
up а few pointers on plumping up the pay check. Herc-
with the results:
Good, hard work, we discovered, is one of the roughest
routes to higher wages. It seems that unless you've got a
union to beat brows for you, or you work for a company
with mandated salaryreview periods, the Horatio Alger
road to riches can be bumpy, indecd. Perseverance and
loyalty are fine for keeping your job, but they seldom
seem to inspire much in the way of outpourings of cash.
Poverty pleas turned out to be effective for some, dis-
astrous for others. The typical poor-boy ploys—ostenta-
tious cating of brown-bag lunches at the desk, wearing
the same seedy suit day after day, elaborate litanies to
the boss of marriage plans (if single), baby plans (if mar-
ried) and alimony payments (if divorced)—sometimes
backfire. Those who did best with the peanut-butter-and-
jelly displays tended to be the younger, fair-haired fel-
lows. "When I sce a kid who looks like he's hurting,”
one calculating employer confided, “my temptation is to
give him enough of a raise to shape up. But when an
older guy starts coming in looking like Columbo, all 1
really want to do is can the bum.”
Threats to quit appeared to be far and away the most
effective way of loosening the pay-check purse strings.
But there's a catch: No one likes to be bullied, and em-
ployces who went to their bosses with inflexible up-or-out
ultimatums found themselves out as often as up. Worse,
some had the gruesome experience of getting the raise
they demanded only to find a pink slip in with their
heavy new salary check а few months later. Their bosses
taken their direct demand for higher pay as a cue
to start searching for a replacement.
The lesson, then, an cither-or scenario. Most
important, don't give your boss a problem, give him a
solution. Try to assume that he really wants to give you
more money and suggest ways he can do so without
causing more waves than he can handle. For example, if
there is a moratorium on wage increases in your com-
pany, suggest, instead, that he give you a merit bonus,
that he increase your expense allowance, that he give you
an extra three меске paid vacation.
If that doesn’t work, play on your employers separa-
tion anxicty with subtle suggestions of impending de-
parture: sudden sartorial splendor coupled with slightly
prolonged lunch hours, frequent “dentist appointments."
Anything that hints of job interviews will do. One boss
told us that nothing can start him negotiating faster than.
the sight of a bald employee suddenly sporting a rug or
a bearded bohemian type parading around the office
spruced up like a Moonie оп а mission,
How did you get your raise? If you have a great story
about your success, write it down concisely and mail it
to Man & Work, eLAvpov, 747 Third Avenue, New York,
New York 10017.
OFFICE FREEBIES
Ever use the company phone to place a cross-country
call to that sizzling stewie from last week's flight? Ever
photocopy your résumé at company expense? Your novel?
It probably doesn’t strike you as stealing, exactly, but you
know it’s not the sort of conduct they award merit badges
Гог, either. And it sure adds up. The American Manage:
ment Associations, which try to keep track of people who
give business the business, estimate that the recent an-
nual cost of pilfering in this country was between nine
billion and 14 billion dollars—quite a pile of paper clips
out the door.
The fact is that times have changed and, with them,
peoples definition of a rip-off. “Today it you say to
someone, "You're stealing," remarks A.M.A. president
James Hayes, "you're liable to get the reply, ‘Oh, no, this
is adjusted compensation.’ In other words, ] don't
enough money, therefore I have to take things to equa
what 1 think I'm worth.”
But feclings of overexploitation and undercompensa-
tion are only part of the problem, Apparently, workers
can get the itch to snitch whenever ethical standards in
the community or corporation are low. Susan Costello,
who coordinates the A.M.A^s Crimes Against Business
project, believes that the moral climate of a company
comes from the top. If the bigwigs are putting their
ling daughters’ Sweet 16 bashes on the expense ac-
count and jetting off for weekends in Puerto Vallarta on
the company plane, the underlings somehow lose their
qualms about stuffing the old briefcase with a stapler.
So where does management draw the line between
friendly freebies and outright larceny? “I don’t think
business really worries too much about paper clips and
pencils,” Costello concedes, The general rule of thumb
seems to be that your boss isn’t going to miss a few of the
things that come into the office supply room in gross
amounts, A couple of manila folders, some Scotch tape
and so forth aren't likely to set off an internal audit,
whereas a missing electric pencil sharpener might. How-
ever, some compa are more strict than others, and
you just might be putting your job on the line for a
couple of ballpoints.
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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR
THE GOOD LIFE
DOWN
JAMAICA WAY
omctime back in the forgotten Sixties, it was de
S creed that Americans should no longer travel to
Jamaica, especially if they were white. La revolu-
cian had come to the black Caribbean and you can bet
your blue eyes you weren't wanted.
Well. the whole fracas was probably exaggerated in the
first place; we know it’s a chimera now. 1, being white,
went to Jamaica recently and felt а 1о more comfortable
than on a few American streets I could name. My lady
und I were wiped out by the scenery, the water and the
prices: Jamaica represents the best tropical geta
the world within a modest American budget. Why һа
someone told us sooner?
PARADISE REVISITED
Of the Greater Antilles, or largest islands of the
Caribbean, Jamaica clearly has the most to offer. (The
Lesser Antilles are splendid, but air fares to the far islands
much higher.) Hispaniola—Haiti and the Domini
Republic—have true decadent appeal, but the grinding
poverty there can ruin your vacation. Cuba is nice for
ustere comrades; a PLAYBOY editor visiting the place last.
winter reported only one warm shower in four s. The
U. S. Virgin Islands are a long jump from Miami (about
$180 round trip), full of Americans and rather overcom-
mercialized, unless you can afford the expensive serenity
of the Caneel Bay Plantation on St. John’s at $75 per
person per day
Jamaica is a short hop over Cuba ($112 round trip from
Miami), blessed with blue-tinged mountains, lush rain.
forests, coffee plantations, flat beaches, picture-postcard
bays, deep diving grottocs, coral cliffs, near perfect year-
round weather and the historical remnants of a colonial
lifestyle. It is so uncrowded that you can create a private
beach every few hundred yards by tooling around the un-
dulating coast line in a rented car (about $130 per week)
or on a Honda 360 (only $80 per week, but not for the
fainthearted). And, unless you get into the deepest bush
where they speak only a semi-English patois, there is
no language barrier.
ON THE BEACH
For $310 per week, you cam have a private villa
overlooking a hillside golf course on what is called the
Ironshore Plantation (once covered with sugar cane) just
outside Montego Bay. Our villa included a private 36-foot
swimming pool on a pa lı a panoramic Caribbean
view, four bedrooms (with private bith) opening onto
the pool deck and a large living/dining 100m with rotat-
ing fans hanging from a cathedral ceiling. The kitchen
came staffed with a cook/maid, but we had to buy
groceries from a small, high-priced store. Also included
in the fee was Sylvester. a young Jamaican with a gleam-
ng smile, who was live-in watchman, gardener and house
philosopher. We tipped the staff $20 cach at weck's end.
(Incidentally, $310 is the minimum villa fec for two bed-
rooms—we could have had two more people, at no extra
cost, but we were there to get away from the crowds.)
Our only other company was the occasional bra
donkey and foraging goats passing on a tril nearby. Our
balustraded patio rose high above the receding hillside,
so we enjoyed total privacy swathed in utter tranquillity.
We told the cook/maid to stay home until noon, so we
could fall out of bed into the pool wearing nothing at all
for half the day. Perfect depressurizat
ing
GOING CHEAP
If the Tronshore villas sound too uptownish, you
should motor 65 miles west of Mo Bay to the rustic
simplicity of Negril, which has thatched-roof A-frames
nestled on cliffs at the end of the cleanest. straightest
beach on the island. Its splendid isolation has made
Negril the freak’s hideaway of the Caribbean—ganja and
Bob Marley hang in the air. Negril also has the island's—
be the world's—finest sunsets, complete with
bamboo chairs and pina coladas facing west. At Rick's
©, vou order a rum punch at the outdoor bar within
sight of Negril Lighthouse, then walk ten feer to the
dilFs edge and join daredevil Jamaican boys in cutoffs
plunging down 40 feet into the pristine. coral-fringed
grotto below—a poor man’s Acapulco. The Rock House,
a clutch of Tahiti-style reed huts perched on coral out
croppings connected by small wooden bridges, offers bunk
beds, open-air plumbing and kitchenettes at $35 per night.
These are lowscason prices (April-November). The
weather during Jamaica's high season remains exactly
the same (sunny, breezy, occasional showers), but there
are а lot morc tourists.
The good part of Jamaica’s outdated bad rep is the
lack of competition for facilities. We took tennis lessons
from a local pro at the Holiday Inn for seven dollars per
hour, then played free there for the rest of the week. Goll
and sailing cost a bit more, as do some of the breath-
ingly romantic but expensive outdoor restaurants. We
preferred the semi-native spots along the coast road, In
one spot, we were served on an outdoor terrace with an
enormous vine-covered tree growing up the middle. /
midafternoon, we had the оссап and the wind to our
selves. Specialties of the house: bluefish and stewed goat.
Whatare you waiting for? — PETER ROSS RANGE
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И The Roses Gimlet.
Four parts vodka, one part elegance.
The elegance, of course, is
Rose's Lime Juice. Which is the
essential ingredient for turning
any vodka into the most elegant
of cocktails.
That's because Rose's Lime
Juice has an uncanny way
of stimulating the taste of
vodka, gin or light rum without
overasserting itself.
Tomake the Rose's Gimlet
properly, simply stir 4 to 5 parts
vodka, gin or light rum with
one part Rose's Lime Juice.
Serve ice cold, straight up or
on the rocks
Tonight, try the Rose's Gimlet.
It's made with elegance. To
make you feel elegant whenever
you have it.
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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR
FINDING
THE RIGHT
HEALTH CLUB
ealth clubs are serious business, Flamboyant,
hyped up at times, but serious. Too many people
join them on a whim and never return to use
them. Before doing your bit for national fitness, resolve
these questions in your mind: Do you really want lo
devote three days a week to working out in a gym? Do you
really have the lime to do it, all good intentions aside? If
both answers are yes, the first person to talk to is your
doctor. Because of our national eating, drinking and
drug-taking habits, and because the heartattack danger
zonc is now at the age of 35, anyone embarking on a stren:
uous fitness program should haye a complete medical
checkup and consider a heart stress test to show how
much physical exertion he can handle.
SIGN-IN FEES
Membership fees for health clubs vary widely. For
example, the Profile Fitness Center for Men, New York
City's foremost spa, asks 3269 for onc ycar, $369 Гог two.
It has generous gym space and equipment, with pleasing
decor and such luxuries as a whirlpool and a masseur
verly Hills Health Club in California, a large,
ish establishment, offers everything from free gym.
shorts to facilities for nude sun-bathing. Its fees are 5300.
for one year, 5150 for two. (You'll find that membership
fees usually decrease in proportion to the number of years
for which you sign up.) The Body Center (Los Angeles
and San Francisco), a smart, compact, two-floor Nautilus-
equipped gym, asks $275 for 12 months, $375 for 18
months.
Membership fees buy full use of a club's facilities, but
you should check them out carefully before signing any
contracts. A few years ago, some unscrupulous promoters
made news by selling membership contracts for clubs that
didn't open on schedule, or that did not have the facilitic
promised. Worse, members had no legal recourse, since
their contracts had been turned over to other corporations.
In 1975, the Federal Trade Commission set up guide-
lines for clubs that may become national Jaw, These
protective recommendations have already been voluntar-
ily adopted by many establishments. Some of the benefits
from the ЕТС guidelines include the right of members to
resell unused time on their contracts, if they decide to
quit, and prorated refund of the balance of the member
ship fee, if a member can't use the club for serious
medical reasons. In addition, many clubs have reciprocal
agreements with spas in other towns, so members on the
move can transfer their contracts or изе those faciliti
when visiting. And many clubs now allow you to freeze
your membership when you go on va re unable
to use the gym because of short-term illness. In New York
City, the Department of Consumer Affairs has sct its own
rules and health clubs there are required to abide by
them. In general, health-club memberships are safe
investments, though in some parts of the country, ques-
tionable practices continuc.
CHECK LIST
Make sure, too, that the club you're thinking of join
has a schedule that will accommodate your own. Some
spas split weeks, with men and women оп alternate
days. Other clubs open at dawn, so you can work out
belore going to the office. If your schedule is unpredict-
able, you'll want a gym you can use at your convenience.
JE you must cancel workouts frequently because of sched-
ule limitations, you'll find your program falling apart
and your interest in the gym deteriorating.
Resident gym instructors should be knowledgeable
enough or have enough formal taining to cnable them to
set up a conditioning program suited to your goals and
abilities. They should also be available for consultation,
advice and moral support.
"That psychological support is essential t0 a successful
program. especially if you don't have a workout buddy or
are not strongly self-motivated to exercise. Fitness studies
indicate that a positive psychological attitude is almost as
important to shaping up as physical exercise. If you ap-
proach the gym reluctantly, hating the whole thing, you
can actually hinder the mu: ding process.
OTHER TIPS
Most gyms provide the expected weights and equipment
to develop the outer man. Many places now also feature
Nautilus or Universal body-building machines, which are
designed to shape you up scientifically and to take the
guesswork out of weight taining. While they'll really
build up your bod rapidly, you must use them under
supervision at the start or risk spending the rest of your
life walking like Quasimodo,
Lockers should be provided on а daily basis. Many
gyms make available permanent lockers as well, so you
can store your gear on the premises.
Whatever facilities your health club provides, the focus
will probably be on weight lifting, Despite their cosme
effect, weights alone do not constitute a healthy fitness
regimen. You must combine weight lifting with swim
ming, cycling, running or some other aerobic exercise
for your heart and lungs. But that's enough talking: it's
time you got busy building up your body. Let's hear it for
physical fitness! — GEORGE MAZZEL
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In our family business
there’s three things you don’t mind
spending your money on. Copper tub-
ing. Fast cars. And a fine pair of warm,
dry boots. And that third one is just as
important as the first two. When you’re
crouching down in some gully with your
feet in ice-cold ditch water, never mov-
ing a muscle for hours, whilst them
damn Treasury agents snoop around
with their dogs barking and sniffing,
well, that's the time you're glad
you didn't cut corners on your boots.
These boots we bought are fine boots,
well made, need no breaking in. But
to us, that don't mean so much com-
pared to the way they're waterproof
and warm.
A whole line of line leather boots
that cost plenty, and should.
TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR
HOW TO GET A
GOVERNMENT
GRANT
n the past six years, I have written applications for
I Government and private-foundation grants totaling
over $12,000,000. These grants have been awarded in
education, health care, energy development, manpower
and employment, counseling, fine arts, law enforcement
and a wide variety of other areas. The fact is, the Federal
Government each year gives away over 20 billion dollars
for an incredible diversity of projects, large and small
The smallest grant I obtained was for $6000 (it went to a
tcacher who wanted to try out а new curricular approac
my largest for $1,200,000 (for a physici. i
new clinic in an isolated rural area). As a. professio!
grant writer, I wrote those projects for others, but there
js no reason why you cannot do the same for yourself.
First, you must understand that it is not really you
who gets the money. You must have (or create) a legiti-
mate nonprofit corporation for the purpose of doing some
social good. The legal steps involved in the corporate
birth process are not terribly complex and any attorney
сап assist you. Somewhat more difficult is obtaining the
blessing of the ERS, which must be convinced that you do
intend to help others rather than just fill your wallet.
GEITING THE FACTS
Next comes rescarch. Your nonprofit organization, of
course, is dedicated to doing good works within your own
area of expertise. Now you need to find out what the
Government is funding. Your local library has a copy of
the Catalogue of Federal Domestic Assistance. Tt lists
Government programs and tells each program's purpose,
how much money is available and what the range of grant
wards is, Once you have selected the program you're
nicrested in, ask to sce the Federal Register. There you
will find specific rules and regulations, indication of
funding cycles, application deadlines and program priori-
ties. You will also find that the Register is difficult to read
without practice. Don't despair. Your purpose is to suffi-
ciently familiarize yourself with the program's jargon
before you talk to a Government bureaucrat.
The final part of the research effort is to call the Gov-
ernment agency administering the program in your г
gion, Ask to speak to the program оћсег for the project i
question and request that you be sent an application
packet and information on the selection criteria for the
Pam While you have that person on the phone, take
the opportunity to generally discuss the program's past,
present and future. Get as much information as possible.
And remember: Government bureaucrats are not the
enemy; they are usually happy to help and arc anxious to
find competent people to operate th
programs.
PUTTING IT TOGETHER
That w y. Now comes the hard part. Assuming
you still want a grant, you must submit à program pro-
posal. Here are a few tips on proposal writing to increase
your chances of success: First, know what the Government
wants. Read the selection criteria, where it gives point
values for different program components; design your
program to conform to the priorities the agency has
declared. are important to it. Make your document casy
to read and understand. Include a le of contents, a
summary at the beginning, а set of clearly defined pro-
gram goals and a well-written explanation of how you are
going to spend the money. Have the document profession-
ally typed, attractively bound and carefully reproduced
Make sure your budget is realistic. Write yourself
(program director, consultant, whatever is appropriatc)
for an amount of money that is fair and is based on com.
monly accepted professional fees, Don't claim you can
produce miracles on ridiculously low budgets: The review-
er will know better and reject your proposal. Don't spend
lavishly, either. Promise a good program value.
Pay particular attention to working relationships you
may have with others that are а special resource of your
organization. Never point out your faults, and if your new
corporation has never done anything before, emphasize
your personal expertise and the experience of those with
whom you will be working.
5
GETTING HELP
I believe that most people are capable of putting to-
gether a good proposal and getting it funded. If, however,
you {eel you need help, there are consulting firms available
ar to the one 1 work for—and can't resist. plug-
tion of University Guidance and Educa-
tional Resources, 1125 North Garfield, Pocatello, Idalio
83901. Our [ccs are fairly typical: one and one half to two
percent of the total project budget, plus expenses. We
also publish a manual to help fledgling grant writers
(Dear Uncle: Please Send Money). Other firms can bc
located through your local univel Call the college
speci шш) in your area of expertise and ask for а
reference
The amount of money the Government gives away has
risen consistently over the past 20 years; and it doesn't
seem to matter who is in office or what the state of the
cconomy is. So if you think you've got something
to sell, call on Uncle Sam. DR. KARL BORDEN
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“Leon was incorporated in Delaware, so he could
enjoy that state’s liberal corporate advantages.”
PLAYBOY
right behind that, 1'd say something that
would pertain to boxing:
But the dominant figure in training
camp for the Ali fight was, of course
Lewis. He used his position like a gong:
He was loud and insistent and some-
limes got on people's nerv
A sparring partner of Spinks quit
camp after telling Lewis that he ought
10 learn to respect people. Eventually
Solomon, whom Lewis berated in pub-
lic on. more than one occasion, got to
feeling similarly. One night, he told
Lewi you want to fight,
nigger. people like they're
noil aid of you. I may be
ht in
old man. But I'll punch you ri
the mouth.” A similar threat wi de
by Top Rank PR man Chet Cummings
kicked at his hotel door to
ior
ks won the heavyweight
crown, Lewis was not overly modest about
his role in the title coup. "What you all
taking Вор /
ask photographers. "What vou all doing
lia
Spinks
continued to berate aide
front of Spinks.
pushy with the cl
On the eve of March
Lewis told Spinks he wanted him to
attend the Mike Rossm Alvaro
“Yaqui” Lopez lightheavyweight fight at
Madison Square Garden. This followed
Leon’s nearly daylong wait for I
Тор Rank's offic. When Spinks declined
to see the fight, Lewis insisted. He said
that as champion, Leon owed his public
such appearances. Later, Spinks would
complain about being badgered yet one
more time. On that night, however, what
made it more galling was that, with Nova
back home, Leon had been looking for-
ward to spending the evening with a
lady he'd flown up from North Caro
That was personal turf. And it made it
one push too many.
By then, he'd suffered. Lewis dervish
style 100 long. One sticky situation after
another. Never a moment's peace. Now,
k's office, Lewis
sometimes i
nd he could be just а
pion himself,
second,
Us.
as heavyweight king, he thought he'd
carned the right to an orderly reign. And
if his old mahatma, Lewis, wa
built for that, then Spinks was prepared
to go elsewhere.
‘The morning after the Rossman-Lopez
match, Leon met with a 49-year-old for-
mer Wayne County, Michigan, circuit-
court judge named Edward Е. Bell. Bell,
а tall, thin man of dignified mien, was
210 now a practicing attorney in Detroit.
s not
Spinks told Bell that his айай
chaotic and needed changing.
Bell impressed Spinks. The attorney
had a cool understated manner that
contrasted sharply with the klaxon style
of Lewi
Indeed, later on the same day that
Spinks met with Bell, Lewis again showed
the champ surprising contempt—and
disrespect. ш he'd miss an airplane
flight, Butch hurried into a limousine on
Park Avenue that had been hired for
Leon's use. “Grab yourself a cab,” Lewis
told Spinks, as he commandeered the
limousine and sped to the airpo
A few days later, їп Detroit, Spinks
nnounced that Bell now represented
him. With Bell, he hoped, would come a
ance of order.
б
March 30, 1978: In suite 810 of De-
x. where the law firm
ntains its office,
the Spinks watch was on its third day.
Spinks's attorneys, Bell and Bell's col-
league Lester Hudson, had sent a former
Detroit police officer, who also tracked
down bail jumpers, out to St. Louis to
find the heavyweight c
The ex-cop, who had just hired on as
a Spinks bodyguard, had left Detroit,
y 1I the motherfucker is there,
ГИ find him."
Bell and Hudson hoped so. They had
rum on the phone daily, talking to him
about a deal with a group of Africans
(who were Imer replaced by the New
Orleans people) on the Spinks-Ali re-
match. The neg ons soon would
require their flying to New York in the
company of Spinks,
Bell and Hudson were not the only
people who wanted Spinks in Detroit.
Richard J. Smit did. too. Smit was a car
salesman who had driven up three days
before from the Johnny Kool Oldsmo-
bile agency in Ind
а 1977 custom-built white Lincoln Con-
tinental limousine that he meant to sell
to Spinks for $35,000—55000 down, a
tenanonth Jease and a final "balloon"
pay-out.
The vehicle went with the new
s were
size-42 ta
d been hand-deliv
lor-made suits th
1 three days ear-
For those three ys, Bell and Hud-
son had been talking persuasively into
my tape recorder of the mechanisms that
they had set up to ensure that Spinks's
career would run smoothly and that he
would rise up as a Palookaville do-good-
er, a shining example to the youth of
It was the image Leon talked
Нер the kids, gorta he'p the
say—an ambition that some-
how always was being id.
The mechanisms were supposed to
change that. Like G.M. and Howard
Hughes, Leon was now incorporated in
Delaware, so he could enjoy that state's
liberal corporate advantages. Spinks Jr.
Organization Inc: At that date, Spinks
was its only officer. The setup provided
icf, as well as a sense of his
own future. He had, it turned out, take
10 carrying ап attaché case, prompting a
ag:
9: What's that you got in your
spanks: That my онсе.
and?
In fact, though, a real office, carpeted
and with a view of Detroit's Congress
Street, had be d for Spinks in
suite 840.
Downstait onal Bank of
Detroit, an account for Spinks was
up. WI ned of his с
in the №,
quarterly tax payments
on his fight earn When Top Rank
sent him to а New York accounting firm,
Lcon showed up with a shopping bag
full of cash receipts. But Spinks was now
supposed to be catching on to fiscal com-
plexities. When Bell and Hudson's t
specialist had asked the high school drop-
out if he understood why he had to docu-
ment expenses morc carefully, Spinks
had answered, “You're talking "bout my
business partner [Uncle Sam] . . . look-
ing over my shoulder . . . comin’ in,
saying, ‘I'm not gonna let you get away
with this."
е made for Spinks
to pursue a general-education degree. To
improve his speech, he'd bought a tape
order (“Not а liule bitty box,” he'd
say, “a big box . . . made by Pioneer . . .
that I know I can get the whole sound
of my voice into it”), so that he could
hear himself and learn from it. And then
The Leon Spinks Calendar.
On white cardboard the size of fight
there w
doing.
Spinkss future engagements were
marked in red апа bl inks—red for
tentative and black for solidly booked
dates. In the month ahead, Spinks was
to receive the Ring magazine champi
ship belt (4/4) in New York, lay over a
t the Hilton and travel to Phil:
;, where he would be honored by
delph
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PLAYBOY
“Let me put it this way . . . some of us have it and some
of us don’t. Unfortunately, sir....”
212
the city of Philadelphia and would tape
The Mike Douglas Show (4/6). Then:
April 10-15
April 16-22
Fla. training
arribean [sic] exhibi-
tion tour
April 23-29 Carribean [sic] exhibi-
tion tour
It was an impressivelooking docu-
ment, except for one thing: its efficacy.
Leon Spinks, who had only to catch a
plane to Detroit, hadn't been up to it
for three days running, a fact that jibed
less with the blueskies future that Bell
d Hudson foresaw for Spinks than
with events of the past weeks
‘Then there was the inforn
my Spinks source, Whisper, th.
jagged feel of self-destruct:
‘Leon is still Leon, That's the amazing
thing. Still irresponsible. Wants to do
exactly what he wants lo do. He's gol ...
something a little loose there, 1 think,
“Like, he doesn't have a driver's li-
cense and yel he continues to drive. А
couple of days after he was arrested for
driving without a license, he drove a guy
I know to the airport. Like, it didn't faze
him at all. With Leon, these things just
happen. Very spontancousby. And he
goes with il.
“Then last week, his bodyguard was ex-
pecting his wife to fly in lo St. Louis
from Des Moines. Since the wife was
staying with Nova, Leon says there's a
possibility that Nova might be on the
зате flight. If Nova's on the plane,
Spinks says, the guy is to call up. I's
like a little game with Nova and Leon.
OK? Leon [lies out of town. She follows
him. She never sees him. Leon flies out
of town again. She follows him. Like
Marlene Dietrich in ‘Morocco?
"Sure enough, Nova's on the plane.
The guy calls up to find out what to do.
The problem here is that Spinks has a
broad staying with him. So? What's the
answer? Take the broad and stash her in
another hotel? No. Too easy. They put
Nova in the room Leon had stayed in.
And Leon gets another suite, two flights
up. Same hotel. Nova thinks he's not
even in the building. The way il went,
Novwa’s downstairs. The girlfriend is up-
stairs. And the news guy is trying 10 get
Leon to sil still for an interview.
“Spink
you crazy
That same afternoon, waiting in Bell
and Hudson's office with car salesman
Smit and others, 1 wondered if I would
go crazy, as Whisper had prophesied.
What I did know for sure was that I
had a bad case of the fidgets. Three days
of waiting to talk with the heavyweight
champion.
The hoped-for vision of order was
clearly down the tubes. Where was the
artlul dodger? Late that alternoon, a St.
Louis Post-Dispatch reporter heard that
Spinks was signing autographs in the
ation from
had the
‚ my friend, is going lo drive
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gheuo and phoned Leon's bodyguard
with the address. At thar point, Nova
and the bodyguard slipped away from
the ex-cop from Detroit and went look-
ing for Leo
Spinks was where he was said to be.
The bodygua w the silver Chrysler
New Yorker that Leon drove when he
n St. Louis and told Nova that he'd
retrieve Leon. Instead, he told Spinks,
“Your wife is here, man," which g
Spinks and his St. Louis woman
chance to drive
was
the
y. Back at the hotel,
Nova knocked on the door of the ex-cop's
room and told him that the bodyguard
had screwed up.
At the time this was occurring, Smit
was emerging from а
office in Detroit to say
ing a guy with the <
knows Spinks. To se
up. The word is: Be
A smile flickered across Smits lips.
ich serewy twist of waiting for Leon
perverse entertainment. for him.
But that was ending. Smit left Detroit
that afternoon, regreting he hadn't had
а chance to try his pitch on the heavy-
weight champion.
use | know Spinks is a buyer,"
Smit said. "All I got to do is stick his
as in the seat. Boom! Thirty-five Gs.
Cashier's check, if you please. MI I need
is five minutes.”
On the chance that Spinks would slip
into. Detroit in the near [uture, Smit left
the limousine with a relative of a fellow
employ d made menis to
have it driven back to Indianapolis il it
turned out that Leon was on a sabbatical.
As for me, 1 thought of catching а
flight to St. Louis but had the paranoiac
torney Hudson's
"They're contact-
police who
a dig him
vision of Spinks's plane passing mine in
the night, with Leon flashing me a de-
monic jack-o-la
1 wok an eveni
On his own, Spinks flew to Detroit
the next day.
He hadn't much to say, except about
the limousine. On that item, he did not
appear to need Smit
informed spiel on gear ratios or rearaxle
options. Spinks saw the white Lincoln
Continental limousine with the gold
striping, He saw the AM/FM stereo cas-
sene player, the smallscreen color TV,
the digital clock, the bar, the sun roof,
the phones for in-car communications
and the two back rows of facing seats in
crushed velour
what he knew. As Leon put it
That my motherfucking
buying.”
Never mind the
He saw all that and knew
cur. Pm
б
From St. Louis, Nova phoned Detroit
ter that day
"You tell Leon,” she said, "that I'm
going to sue him for divorce. lm going
to take all his money. And you tell him
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PLAYBOY
216
if he wants to discuss ii
parents in Des Moines.'
As she hung up, though, Nova, a wom-
an of more than 200 pounds, winked
at the. photographer from the Post-Dis-
patch and said, "I'm going right to De-
troit, Just said that about Des Moines to
throw him off my tracks."
+
When Spinks won the championship,
the press wrote traditional copy about
the ghetto fighter’s transcending dep
Чоп. A few unkind reporters carped
pout the slurred speech and fractured
syntax and the dearth of feeling the new
champion had for the press. Ali backlash,
so to speak. But by and large, Spinks
was warmly depicted.
The fact was, though, he was not O.J.
black, not the establishment's kind of
colored, He had the discomforting sound
of the back-alley, muscatel-swigging black
man, and a hard-edged look to go with
it. So when incidents began to occur, the
press was not disposed to go easy on him.
That did not surprise Spinks, From
the start, he'd. met resistance аз cham-
pion. In some quarters, he was still re-
garded as a man whose triumph over Ali
was a freak of ti f. а fortuitous con-
junction of fate and Muhammad's mid-
dlc арс. In dreams before the title match,
Spinks had conjured up the image of his
arms raised in triumph, but he never
imagined the thorny times that would
follow.
“Like, 1 remember,”
I'm going to my
he said later,
when we finally connected, “the first
time I went back to St. Louis after I
won the championship. I was in a club.
I was supposed to meet the manager of
the place. I was waiting there when a
guy ran up to me, point a finger in my
face, say, "You ain't shiit. You ain't
' And, like, I almost went at him,
You understand? 'Cause somebody say
-.. that’s just like saying, "Let's get
let's fight.’ I got a heating sensa-
tion in my body. A burning sensation
my chest and neck. Like what I used to
get when I'm out on the street. But I
thought, No, man, that ain't you. Look
at you now. I mean, even though he's
hollering about how much he hates
you... and whatever . . . a lot of people
around here do love you. Like the people
in the club—they said to the guy, ‘Who
in the hell is you, nigger, to come to our
champ like that
"The encounter in St. Louis was the first
of several instances in which strangers
accosted Spinks and bad-mouthed him to
his face. His correspondence contained a
percentage of hate mail, too. mostly pro-
voked, it scemed, by his victory over Ali,
ol whom he was genuinely fond. "What
a joyful man Ali is,” Spinks had said
belore the fight.
Compared with Ali, Spinks lacked the
grace in public. At times, he could
be a sunny soul, breaking into a grin
that looked nearly equine in the close-
ups that photographers snapped. At oth-
er times, he was perplexed by the people
"I would say that your feelings of inadequacy
represent progress. When you first came here, you
thought you were pretty hot stuff.”
he encountered, particularly those who
stared dead in his face without speak-
ng. For those cases, Spinks had ac
quired а line—"What's wrong with you,
you Ш or something?"—that had proved
helpful. "When I say it, then everybody
start laughing. Whatever." Whatever. It
was not casy being the heavyweight
champion.
For Spinks, the problem was com-
pounded by a lack of education that had
been exploited before. Barnes said that
when Spinks joined the Marines, he was
under the impression that it was for a
two-year hitch rather than the four-year
term stated in his papers.
Once, to clarify whether ог not
Spinks’s brother Evan had an S at the
end of his name, ked Leon to spell it.
He took two faltering stabs at the spell-
g and gave up with an exclamation of
‘Oh, wow
Spinks's ingenuousness invited an at-
mosphere of conniving and i
was
built into the heavyweight champion's
Even friends tried to take
“Some of them,” Spinks said Jater, "t
to hit me up for money. I tell ‘em, "Well,
1 fought hard and I worked hard to get
where І got. Don't take away my gusto,
se you ain't got none. All you got to
do is to make it for yourself and then you
have some gusto. And then you ain't
gotta ask nobody for anything.’ ”
Spinks is a creature of contradictory
pieces, cluding casy labels, Although he
hasn't the glibness of Ali—his sentences
often lurch and sputter—he sometimes
strikes a rough poetic note with his
words. "I broke out in a thousand tears,"
or "Nobody really finds hisself, "cause if
he finds hisself, he knows the future
Similarly, though he takes his image with
what sometimes seems undue sobricty
("I don't want nobody to sce me just like
а Tom, Dick and Harry. I want to always
keep an image as a nice neat man"), he
reacted with boyish hilarity when TV
had a laugh at his expense.
What's that man," he asked, "that
tells jokes .. . on The Gong Show . . .
has a bag on his face? Yeah. Unknown
Comic. He made a joke on me one night.
Said, "I'm going to do an image of Leon
Spinks! Turns around, took the first bag
off, put another bag on his face. Had the
whole front of the bag black, with two
teeth missing, And he turned back
around, changed his face mask back, said,
"You didn't know [ was two-faced, either,
did you? "That gassed me, man. I die
ighing. I went in and holler out to my
wile. Said, "This fool is doing an image
of mi
One moment Spinks would yank a
cork from a bottle of champagne with
his teeth. The
to his chest or suck his thumb
for an interview. The word n
has been applied to him. Even Nova has
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PLAYBOY
218
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been quoted as using it. It is a good
word, evoking the contradictory forces
within Spinks that make him dilficult to
pin down.
The odd angles at which Spinks some
times carries his hands—reminiscent at
times of the singer Joe Cocker:
of a repertoire of body quirks
moods. A bounce to his step indicates
he is in good humor. At those times,
ect carriage has a dancer's lithe
quality. In foul moods, he draws in his
neck and cocks his head to the side,
which has an ominous effect.
But he сап be sweetly auenti
“You know what I like?” he asked
ing the mommas, All the mommas are
big and fat. They get excited when they
scc me. They be grabbing оп me"—
nks twists his shoulders from side to
in recollection—"la. de la, la de la
g to Detroit from Boston, Leon
ttle girl, about seven years of
ics of operations on
r unable to speak
at the time of the flight. “Her parents,"
Spinks said, "had just picked her up
from the hospi And her birthday were
coming up. So I sung Happy Birthday to
her. Yeah, 1 sung it to her. And I gave
her my autograph, And then we sit back
there апа... we writing notes. We was
talking to each other . . . through notes.
We just talked about anything and every-
thing. Anything that she asked me about,
1 would tell he he asked about boxing.
She asked how a guy could get hit on the
face like that. I said, "Well, baby, it's all
in the job.
pinks is a visceral person who is not
id to express himself. To the anony-
mous benefactor who'd flown his mother
to the Montreal Olympics, Leon said,
“You it's the nicest thing that’s
ever happened to us. We just love you
i п confronted by LeDoux's
» Spinks had asked in the
“Why you ch remark u
ring,
had struck LeDoux by its ingenuous in-
flections.
The most striking instance of man-
child expressiveness occurred the night
Spinks talked to me of his ghetto up-
bringing, the anguish and humiliation of
which apparently were vividly felt. At
one point, as he paced his room in the
as Hilton, growing more agitated,
he stopped and, with a stricken expres-
sion, said, “Get me out of here, get me
out of St. Louis" which really only
meant he wanted to change the subject
Spinks has what seems an obsessive tic
to his past. speech reflects it. His
words do not falter or get jammed up at
the beginning of sentences when the sub-
ject is ghetto travail. Is as though he's
had the same thoughts many times be-
fore, "I was the type of person who was
quiet," Spinks said. "People could do
different things to me and I'd come by
RC 1 ca
n
It's amazing how just one drink too
many can turn a normally charming, witty,
intelligent person into a loud, ridiculous,
boring nincompoop.
Drinking is supposed to be a social
pleasure. And it's no pleasure when you
indulge in it to the point where you become
unpleasant to be around.
That's why we, the people who make
= A^ esit
dropped an olive down Norma Gray’ blouse
last night.”
MC
and sell distilled spirits, urge you to use
our products with common sense. If you
choose to drink, drink responsibly.
Bethelife of the party. Not the laugh
of it.
IT'S PEOPLE WHO GIVE DRINKING
A BAD NAME
Fora free reprint of this advertisement, write:
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PLAYBOY
220
and make my momma think everything
was all right, 1 would lock everything in-
side myself. Because the hurt I felt, I
always kept it to myself. I never did try
to explain to people what hurt I had
went through.”
His father is at the core of his pained
memories. Leon, eparated from the
family when the boy was young, WI
contacts Spinks had with him afterward
were mostly di
appointing—he remem-
bers being ridiculed and whupped—and
filled him with a desire “to be the man
my daddy wasn't."
There is a darker side to Spinks that
possession of the heavyweight title
seemed to provoke. Whisper had a story
in that reg
"I knew George Foreman before he
knocked out Joe Frazier. A real gung-ho
nice kind of kid. Now, the morning after
he knocked out Joe Frazier, he walked
in to the press conference - and lil
this: ‘Hey, get the hell off that couch,
man, .. . You, I don't want you sitting
there. He's rearranging the тоот. How
to sit. How to take pictures. And you
knqu who did the same thing the day
after he won? I swear, Leon Spinks. ‘Get
off the couch; he told news guys. He's
barking commands as to who sits where.
‘Clear that couch. Get out of the way.
Uncanny. Absolutely uncanny, Almost to
the T”
The
its mix of
headlines and hotel suites and the Na-
tional Enquirer asking Leon 10 by-line
WHY 1 LOVE AMERICA,”
Being the heavyweight champion mat-
tered. People simply did not worry about
of champions in other
m
weight divisions. The almighty sli
belonged to the heavyweight king. And
with
it went the
ady fanfares
cognition, concern
nherent. Snubbed at
tan's chic Studio 54
when he was a challenger, Spinks was
“olee olee in free” as the champion.
F Spinks, though, some measure of
his newly acquired fame was the motion
nd commotion he could trigger. Bodies
snapped to. That could be exhilarating
for a young man whose background was
filled with nd rejection.
Spinks's w especially the
ones he lived when he bolted, had people
dashing about, worrying and wondering
about hi t might appear selfish
from close up. By the 19 w, though,
it was a pay-h a hard, cold past. As
Spinks once Sce, my dad said Td
amount to nothing. He would tell people
that. And it hurt me to hear lı
It stayed in my mind. Why'd he say
What for? Call me a fool out of the blue.
Not to my face but to people who'd tell
it to me. And that became my thing—
to be somebody
Underlying all contradictions, it some-
nes seemed, was a mad pleasure in the
ppropriate moment, the attraction to
which brought unanticipated twists:
Spinks would experience seizures of
ghter in the midst of a sober account
of one of his St. Louis driving busts or
while he analyzed his impromptu disap-
They were great gurgling
ighter shot through with an
unhinged quality
At those times, the phrase “inappro-
priate response" had flashed in my mind
like the тил light on a pinball machine,
the laughter suggesting a self-destructive
impulse of the kind that n
heroes.
Was Spinks's gusto jı
"He's got . . . something a little loose
there, E think,” Whisper had said of
The words applied, though, to the whole
shebang—the Spinks H ‘Times d
Soul Aplenty Caravan a hard
scene to get a бх on. There was the con-
tinuing sense of the whole works’ being
slightly out of whack, bent in
orderly vision could possibly str
о
t а bit bent?
WELCOME LEON SPINKS
HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
OF THE WORLD,
quee outside the DiLido
Beach, Tt was April 11,
the day of the news conference with
Alî. 1 had accompanied Spinks from New
Orleans to Miami.
Situated on the ocean, with its front
entrance on Collins Avenue, the DiLido
is a high-rise hotel with a spacious L-
shaped lobby and walls covered with
als of boats and trees and
monkeys a The aura is art-deco
daft—a movie set out of a Thirties com
edy. It appeared to possess the right cock-
eyed charm for the Spinks entourage.
The mood was high on arrival
During the press conference in New
Orleans, Leon had had this exchange:
NEWSM. Ac the a
you'd have someth
you signed the contra
have to say now?
spiss: Santa Claus.
port, you said
g to say after
ict. What do you
He growled the words with a loving
Saichmo sound, grinning as he did
Santa Claus: shorthand that meant the
getting had been good—Spinks's si
ture assured millions of dollars
would be Fhe pleasure remained
At the airport in Miami, when a TV
sportscaster asked Spinks to describe how
it felt to whip Ali, he smiled and did a
sol ic. at the finish of wi
and s
hoe rout
tended his hand
Be:
walked
Lincoln Road Mall, where he signed au-
tographs, mugged for cameras, kissed
in Miami h. he
women and shopped.
"How much those shoes?" he asked,
12 Pierre Car-
pointing to а pi
din loafers.
“Not too тис! 5
“Then FH take them,
From a thick wad of currency, Leon
peeled off a $100 bill for the salesman.
lesman said.
ks asked.
foney clips."
“Yes, Mr. Spinks.
“OK. Gimme опе.
Spinks tried to insert h
Spinks spent a sunny day in M
h. grinning, dancing across street
quipping to young women (“Whaddaya
say, momma?"). That night, Spinks, а
welterweight named Roger Stafford and
I stood by a low stone wall at the end
of Lincoln Road, watching the ocean
break ns the shore just below.
Spi s in a form-fitting maroon shirt
and cream-colored slacks. He and Staf-
ford were drinking California pink cham-
pagne. A gentle breeze blew.
“Te gonna be good to hit some mother-
fucker again,” said Spinks, putting his
glass on the wall and inhaling а smoke.
ahhhh, I know,” said Stafford, set-
ting his drink down, too.
Spinks struck a fighting pose, bent
s wa
at the knees, and let his hands go.
"Whap! Whap! ford said, as he
watched. Then Stafford
punches through the air,
grunting sounds as he d
way I did it to that dude," he said, re-
ferring to a рге! y bout he'd fought
that weekend on national TV. "АП over
the motherfucker.”
“Yeahhhh,” said Spinks
“1 whupped that dude good”
"Hey. My m pinks interrupted,
g me. you ain't gonna
put in the ar-ti-cle that T smoke, is you?
"Heywy," D said, with an elabo
shrug that was not quite an answ
‘Count of my image.” Spinks said.
Spinks thought about it and then for-
got about it and began to move sii
ly. reducing his shadow punches to a
stoned dance.
“Women,” sa
women
Women,"
ot to.
weet nothin,
No. Lies" s
uous-
Stafford. “Got to get
nswered Spinks.
” I asked.
id Stafford. “Tell "em
ooned Spinks, his body
rocking as he grinned. “Tell ‘em liieecs.”
Stafford swayed in “Liiieeees.”
“Tell ‘em есес"
They doubled over in laughter,
making plashing sounds with hi
‘Liiicees.
when a team of women
s from Terre Haute, Indiana, rec-
ognized him. Out came the cameras.
obliged by posing for snapshots,
drinking champagne refills as he d
“Get оша my pitcher," а pretty
black woman said, "Just me
man."
A howler in pin curlers arrived. “We
was dressed for bed and they come up
and said Leon Spinks.”
“Leon,” a heavy-set woman said, “let
me show you a picture of my grand-
children. They triplets."
"Where's the champagne?” another
bowler wondered.
“Its on me,” Spinks said, moving
toward the hotel restaurant, waving his
arm when the women hesitated. “Come
on, ladies.
Soon after, the Spinks caravan was on
the move, Up the road it went to Place
Pigalle, a Miami Beach club whose all-
girl revue and X-rated comedienne,
Pearl Williams, were the attractions.
Tuesdays, though, Wi ins was off. <
for this night, the strippers would do.
The Leon Spinks Calendar had called
for Spinks го spend this second week in
April training for his Caribbean tour.
But the good times would roll instead.
The sun was coming up when the heavy-
weight champ made it back to the
DiLido.
P
A few days later, there wa:
cident that still lives in my
was standing in the DiLido penthouse
number one, his $100-a-day lodgings,
idling for a moment before plunging
into another d: The sun streamed
through a space in the drapes. His step
had a loose, casy swing. Then suddenly
he was holding up the index finger of
each hand and, with a rhumbalike mo-
tion of the hips, he began to move,
chanting in a comically falsetto voice,
“Penthouse number one, penthouse num-
ber one"—and smiling. The style was
nother in-
4. Spinks
all Spinks's. Penthouse number one: top
of the world, momma.
But with Spinks, the pleasure of being
up there was never far removed from the
trick impulses that could bring him
down. And as the week progressed in
Miami Beach, there were troubling notes.
to be pushed back a мес!
in The Spinks Calendar that left Leon
susceptible to demon whispers, A call
from Lewi: d problems. As he
hung up, Spinks muttered, “One thing
nother. Shit. Shit, Shit"
few days later, as Nova arrived
n the run
. Louis. There were
s there with Barnes. Barnes had
agreed to take less than his customary
30 percent of the purse for the Spinks-Ali
rematch, but he had grievances that
could threaten the bout.
Lewis was to meet Spinks in St. Louis.
Before Lewis left, he phoned the DiLido
to check on Spinkss whereabouts. In
penthouse number one, Nova picked up
the phone, heard Lewis’ voice and hung
up. She figured he was to blame for
Spinks's latest abrupt departure.
Lewis found Spinks and told him that
a meeting in New York was planned to
ighten out details of the Spinks-Ali
rematch, The various interests—Barnes,
Bell, Arum—would be there. Spinks
agreed to the trip but kept delaying.
Оп Wednesday, 19, Lewis urged
him to leave St. Louis. Spinks seemed in-
clined to but asked, ke my baby
with me to New York?"—a reference to
his St. Louis woman. Lewis told him he
vhat he wanted—just be on the
flight to New York. Spinks's woman said
she had to get her clothes. Lewis waited
at the airport. When Spinks did. not ap-
he gave up and flew back to New
That was on Thursda
radio that Spinks was busted
“Has been released on
involving suspected drug vi
and failure to produce a driver's license.
He was booked n of two
counts of violating the Missouri con-
trolledsubstance law by possession of
marijuana and cocaine. Police say war-
rants will be sought later today. Arrested.
with Spinks was a 26-year-old
companion.”
A later repor
and 550 bills w
Spinks's car.
With the heavyweight champion in-
volved, guilty or innocent hardly mat-
tered, Wheels would turn, deals could be
made. In fact, the drug charges were later
dropped. But... .
Whisper called the next day.
“Battling Siki,” he said.
Who;
“Battling Siki, my friend. Real name
Lonis Phal. A Senegalese Negro. Won
the light-heavyweight championship in
1922. Knocked out Georges Carpentier in
six rounds. Paris, France. Siki was called
the Singular Senegalese. And he came
here а таю fucking African. We're going
back over 50 years. Loved his wine, wom-
en and song. And belling guys in the
chops. And wearing the grass-shirt-and-
top-hat kind of thing. He's buried here
in New York. Out in Flushing, Long Is-
land. A couple of years ago, а boxers’ as-
sociation put a tombstone up. Died
in a fucking bar brawl in New York City.
December 15, anno Domini 1925. Look it
up.”
And he clicked off.
woman
stated that torn $10, $2
¢ found in the trunk of
“My God! My wife! My clone!”
221
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DOLPHIN GIRL conned om pose 20
“My feelings must have projected to the dolphins.
Suddenly, they were all around the boat.”
The whole school seemed to be in har-
mony, while smaller groups seemed to
establish an even closer empathy. It
de me begin to believe in telepathy
among dolphins. Since water is nearly
1000 times as d. air, perhaps some
‘ations—too thin for air to carry—
can be transmitted through water.
aming along with
them, hoping they would come to accept
me and reveal some of their secrets. 1
was rewarded by being admitted to the
center of the herd; 1 was literally in a
doud of dolphins. One seemed partic-
ularly friendly; I named him Notchback
and concentrated my attention on him.
We had several long swims, swimming in
unison and surfacing for air together.
It was during that summer that I met
Steve Sipman and Ken LaVasseur, who
had just released two dolphins. Puka
and Kea, from a r ch establishment.
Steve and Ken had been assistant re-
searchers for two years, living within 15
feet of the dolphins. Puka and Kea, who
had been the subjects of research expe
ments for as much as 13 years, were kept
n separate tanks in isolation from cach
other and their kind. Steve and Ken were
so in tune with these dolphins that they
knew they were depressed and suffering,
so under the veil of night, they carefully
returned them to the ocean.
Ironically. Steve and Ken exchanged
their freedom for the freedom of the
dolphins; they wei ismonth
prison sentences for gr . But
Steve told me, “It was worth it; nothing
they s bad as
what was co
phins. I would do it again
That convinced me more than ever of
the need to demonstrate the possibility of
ing with dolphins in the open
п, The efforts of many researchers
jı captive dolphins have undeniably
valuable foundation for their
an see no justi-
ng to keep them in
. Whether
do to us would be
ng down on those dol
laid a
captivity for re
dolphins are as *
has not been proved, but my experience
ces
con e that they are super
mals worthy of special respect and that
nyone wishing 10 study them should do
so in their own environment.
Last spring, 1 returned for the third
time to the dolphins’ domain. It took us
many days under the hot sun to re-
establish. contact, They seemed with-
drawn, elusive. Our activities during the
previous years had drawn attention to
their presence and accessibility, and
many other people had been visiting
them. Deep down, I was worried that
they would not accept me this time. My
feclings must have projected to the dol-
phins, Suddenly, they were there, all
around the boat, а ng me in. I
slipped into the clear, cool water with a
sh of anticipation and immediately
began to recognize old friends. There
was a newborn baby in the group, no
more than three fect long, swimming
close to its mother, like a shadow. Е no-
ticed a pure-white adult dolphin I had
never seen before, which made me won-
der how their tribes intermix. Then I
saw Notchback. I surprised at how
glad I felt to sce him again. As before.
he nearly always stayed close to me and
I concentrated my attention on him.
As we got closer than ever before, I
was startled to rcalize how large he really
was. He was about eight feet long and I
suppose would weigh about 300 pounds.
Being that close, J could sce the muscles
ppling and flexing beneath his tight
silvery skin. His body markings, shades
of gray and silver, were beautiful, and
his dark sensitive eyes watched con-
tinuously. We were so close that 1 could
feel the currents created by his undulat-
ing movements. Fins i
m's length and I experienced a sensa
tion TI never forget. As I reached out, I
felt him quiver at my touch,
“No cunnilingus for the count.”
223
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KINCS
(continued from page 197)
suggested that they practice during the
day.
The call frightened Maleno and Soli
and they decided to flee w the goods
they had collected. They tied up Mrs.
and placed her under a
Melendez was left in
s extremely nerv-
pself
McKinnon
сей an impe
ing and turning,
the next step to take. Finally, Mrs. Mc-
Kinnon persuaded him to untie her. As
soon as he did, she ran to the guest room,
grabbed one of her host's hunting rifles,
woke her husband. gave the rille to him
and hurriedly but lucid explained what
had happened. The explanation w
more sobering than 40 cups of
coffee. The doctor rushed into Kn.
bedroom. Knight seemed to be dead
doctor gave him mouth-to-mouth re
ion. As he leaned back from
efforts, he saw
Knight’ 5 bed. “I didn't do it, I didn't do
Melendez screamed. He was holding
the gun and the knife. McKinnon wres-
ted with him, but Melendez eased his
way out of the doctor's strangle hold and.
Пед the apartment.
Meanwhile, Rosemary McKinnon,
now discreetly covered by a robe, had
escaped to the outside hallway, where
she waited for an clevator to take her to
the main lobby and safety. Just as the
elevator stopped, Melendez leaped into
the car with her. They tussled. He
nicked her under the breast with the
knife. At the third floor, the elevator
came to a d M McKinnon ran
ovt and down the fire escape. By the
time the police arrived, Melendez had
vanished,
time he s
prone pos
gavotte, whe
his
Melendez standing on
E
The phone call that gets me out of bed
on Friday, December 12, comes from
Dennis Rubini, who teaches a cou
alternative lifestyles at a Ph
university. Rubini has |
арма
ident of
Philadel phi. ice and
is active in a sadom: "conscious-
aising" grou it 1
seen the morning One of the sus-
pects, he reports, has surrendered. He
doesn't know which one.
“I hope the cops will stop hassling us
now," Rubini grumbk
homosexual population of Philadelp!
He goes on to complain that he hii
self was picked up by the police because
he resembled a sketch of one of the
wanted шеп.
“They took me to Homicide. One of
the detectives noticed a bulge in my
pocket and thought it might be a gun.
Instead, he found a copy of Larry Town-
send's The Leatherman's Handbook, a
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manual on sadism and masochism. The
officer said, ‘Ob, my daughter's interested
in leather handiwork, too,’ and handed
the book back to me.
"Then the cops fingerprinted me,
photographed me and subjected me to
polygraph test. They wanted 10 know if
I had exer engaged in 'abnormal sex."
“I asked them what they meant by
abnormal sex. I said, ‘My definition of
abnormal or society's definition?’ They
were stumped. They let it fly. Anyway, I
passed the polygraph and they very
politely thanked me for my time and
trouble;
.
The man who surrendered was Steven
Maleno. The night before (after Inspec-
tor Golden released. the suspects name
to the press), Maleno telephoned police.
Shortly after, he met a team of detectives
in Center City and v n to Homi-
cide. Later, his wife appeared. She said
she had been separated from the trigger-
tempered Maleno for the past sev 1
months, She tried to see him at Homicide
but was told she couldn't. She told re
porters that her husband was ап unem-
ployed sheet-metal worker
.
At the arraignment room of police
headquarters, а cop warns a United
Press photographer that he is not to take
photos inside the courtroom, Neverthe
less, the photographer hunches near an
elevator, four yards away from a gate
that separates free men from confined. 1
stand near the photographer, hoping to
get a glimpse of Maleno as he enters the
courtroom.
After a short wait, the elevator door
opens. Flashes pop, momentarily blind-
ing the accused, He squints, lowers his
eyes to the floor. Two burly officers guard
him—bookends on each side. A reporter,
who obviously has seen The Front Page
too many times, gets close and blurts,
"Did you kill John Knight?" Maleno
and bookends keep moving.
In the courtroom, the judge asks
Maleno if he has an attorney, then tells
the prisoner that he will be held without
bail.
Maleno looks as if he's been hit by
bulldozer. He is clad in a raincoat that's
been through hurricanes, Tan slacks in
need of pressing peek out from the bot-
tom of the coat. The unshaven face of a
streetwise punk sticks out from the top.
Sign this document,” says the judge.
"I can't,” snaps Maleno, eying his
handcuffs.
An officer removes the manacles and
Maleno signs the paper. On his way out,
the full press brigade follows and fash-
bulbs sn: if the queen mother were
g town, But this time Mal
stares straight ahead,
“Who killed John Knight?" asks the
Hildy Johnson type.
“Со fuck yourself,” spits Maleno as the
v
EIU UNE EU NYSE zx
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А 22
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227
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“Don't bea stran
PLAYBOY
228
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clevator door slams in the reporter's face
Outside the arraignment room, with
Maleno’s invective still hanging in the
air, word filters out to the press that
Melendez, too, is dead. His bullet ridden
body has been found near the site of a
boy-scout reservation in Camden
Melendez and Knight: the hustler and
the heir. The day before, 1 hadn't heard
of either of them, much less of the Me
Kinnons, Maleno and Soli. Suddenly, 1
find the Knig
my life.
That evening, I check the [ourstar
specials at the Warwick's newsstand.
Melendez’ face is splattered all over the
Pages. “KNIGHT SUSPECT SHOT TO DEATH:
BODY FOUND IN JERSEY.” For some strange
reason, an old song recorded by Lee
Wiley rings through my head:
ht case the focal point of
Love laughs at a king,
Kings don't mean a thing,
On the street of dreams.
.
Monday, December 15. The Philadel-
phia News and Inquirer building is with-
in walking distance of City Hall, my
geographical point of reference in the
city of brotherly turmoil, On the edi-
torial floor of the News, a police radio
blares and ten phones ring at once.
“There's no one in the sports depart-
ment,” grumbles a reporter 10 one of
the phone receivers. Then she yells,
“Who are you waiting for?”
“Paul Janensch,” I answer,
“In there.” She points to an office.
Janensch is in his mid-30s. He looks
like he loves the great indoors: That
gray-pink pallor that comes from too
much time spent under fluorescent light-
ing is a color common to editors. Horn-
rimmed glasses are perched on the bridge
of his nose. He leans back in his swivel
chair, hands behind his head, and snaps
that he ha
there is to
Knight at L
our cover
I answer,
“Well, th
redundant. The meal was one of the
most pleasant I've had in a long time. It
lasted four hours. John selected the
wines. The wine tab alone came to a
hundred and fourteen dollars, The Mc-
Kinnons were good company.”
Did Janensch have any idea of
Knight's sexual orientation?
“You mean did I suspect that John
was gay? No, I didn't, There was never а
thought in my mind about John’s being
homosexual—that night or ever. Гус
worked closely with him. Оп two occa-
sions, I had bumped into him so
already said probably all
y about his last supper with
Truffe. “Have you read
very last word of it.”
. anything | tell you is
ly—
cach time with a different. woman. I
always saw him with people from the
straight world. Everybody who knew
John thought he was totally straight. We
were utterly amazed at these revelations.”
All along, Knight kept a low profile at
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT
THE TRAVELING SALESMAN WHO HAS
774,000 MILES ON HIS VOLVO?
It’s no joke. owners of 48 new models from G.M., Ford,
Back in 1965, Norbert O. Lyssy,a travel- Chrysler апа АМС?
ing salesman from Texas bought a Volvo We can't guarantee that their Volvos will
1800 S for his work. Since then, hes driven it last 774,000 miles.
through deserts and over mountains an But if Mr. Lyssys experience is any
average of 70,000 miles a year. indication, these new Volvo owners have a
When Mr. Lyssy isnt working, he uses his lot of happiness to look forward to.
Volvo for fun. On weekends, it lugs a 16-foot ‘Sumer conducted among owners of new cars bousl in Max: 1977
power boat through the mountains to the ESE
Lyssys favorite lake.
In all this time, Mr. Lyssy says, “Old Red
(as he affectionately calls his Volvo) has
never failed to get me to my destination.” He
adds, “I think shell reach a million miles
with ease. After all, I only have 226,000
more miles to go.”
It’s fair to say Mr. Lyssy is happy with
that old Volvo of his. But that’s an old Volvo.
What about people who buy new Volvos?
According to an independent nationwide
survey, theyre happy too. Happier than the
VOLVO. A CAR YOU CAN BELIEVE IN. "
“Respect you? If you really want to know, Miss Sax
you a hell of 2 lot more than I did before.
а by, I respect
к E
the News, Had Janensch been unaware
Gly NS ily contione You can tell alot about an individual by what he pours into his glass.
he'd still have spotted. money. Not that
Knight was throwing it around—he
wasn't ostentatious—but often the work-
ing rich are twice as conscientious as
the working middle class. They have to
prove that they deserve their jobs in
spite of their inherited status.
“John often worked fourteen-hour
shifts. If a big story came his way, he
kept his cool. He could handle it
His nose for news, in Janensch’s opin-
ion, could eventually have made him the
bona fide successor to Granddad Knight
(John's father had died in World V
Two combat two weeks before his son's
birth) despite nepotism. Like the old
John’s views didn't. particularly
follow a straight line. He was Гог abo
tion, but also for capital punishment
the Vietnam war but
As far a
the gay issue is concerned, journalisti-
ly, he kept away from it
Janensch,
ble gay life here in Philadelphia, one
that is not especially kinky. And w
sympathetic to the demands of these gay
groups. We offer them maximum oppor-
tunity to tell their side of the story
“This gay-movement stuff wasn't
John's territory to cover. Jt wasn't an
issue. However, I think if John's gı
father discovered his tendencies, he'd
certainly be upset, but I doubt if he'd do
anything drastic. Hed probably want to
help John and send him to a psycho-
analys
I leave Janensch’s office wondering
why 1 didn't tell him Fm gay. Why
shouldn't he know it Or is what 1 do in
bed irrelevant in matters outside? Per-
haps a homosexual's skin should be a
different color. Lavender for immediate
identification. Would it have changed
matters any had Janensch and his co-
workers known about Knight? Does the
sound of money in conjunction with
clout and power negate one's sexual ori
entation? Do intelligence, а low profile
and playing it cool make one acceptable?
What if Knight were lavender? Knights
lile—and death—is getting to me.
That afternoon, | meet Jim Kennedy
at the Назу Гаму. Kennedy calls himsel
а gay street priest who ministers to
hustlers.” His ministry is in the Northern
Liberty area, where he lives with five
young men on a $2000 grant from the
city drug program.
Kennedy knew Melendez | slightly.
Sometimes hed bump into him and
Knight cating breakfast at the Hasty-
Tasty. “but to say 1 knew Felix real well
would be a lie. Everybody's saying tha
Irs like right alter Martin Luther King
assassination, everyone swore he knew =
Kin т Bishi,
Nevertheless, Kennedy has theories, Sep у
He maintains that you must understand ‘The Novelist” glass created for the Bushmills Collection by Henry Halem Soe
A blend of 100% Irish Whiskies 86 Proof. Bored in Leland. The Jos. Garneau Ca. NewYork. N Y ©1975
PLAYBOY
32
about class differences in order to under-
nd the phenomenon of hustlers. The
majority are working class, They come
from broken homes and their feelings
have been brutalized
elix was typical of the gang that
works the street, He came from a Pente-
costal background and the church is anti
gay. Felix had а multiple number of
oppressions working against hir
gion, sexual orientation, class
Puerto Rican minority status.”
Oppression makes curious bedfellows,
and it seemed only logical that fate
bring Melendez together with
nd his
would
Knight.
Knight sought out the street kid, the
outcast, the sexual heathen, the earth
child whose universe was entirely diffe
ent from his, With Knight, sex was al-
ways а mater of cultural collision.
“Diametrically opposed" was a figure of
speech that could elicit a hard-on. He
could neve the umbilical cord
that bound him to a patriarchal society.
Cut it and there was the possibility of
Grandpa's cutting him oll. To go visibly
айты it would be 10 go against every-
thing he was ev wht im all those
fancy schools. For Knight to accept what
he was meant that he might not be
accepted. by the hierarchy who expected
tog
sever
greatness of him. Greatness meant
strength. Strength meant masculinity.
Masculinity meant heterosexuality, Нес
crosexualiy ment façade. Maintain
fagade for the world to sec. Cheat in the
rk abyss of the soul. Cheat in
lighted back yard.
Of course, there's no telling what
might have been had Knight played. in
another yard. Impossible i0 surmise
whether he'd meet his hearts desire on
the Main Line or if he'd find a Felix
Melendez on Society Hill.
The wuth is, when you're rich and
bothered and restless, a hustler is easier
to cope with than a sit-down dinner for
six. And with the help of a few select
publications,
Hustlers who advertise in The Adzo-
cate (the largest gay publication in the
re lik g nurses. Many are
kids who need the bucks to get
them through school. Others are actors
1 d ^t hold steady jobs
because they need time for auditions.
Still others are lazy and find whoring a
way to pay the rent. And there are others
with great. bodies who love sex, perforn
well and figure they might as well cash
in on their hobby. Thev sit at home, wait
for the phone to ring and charge the
oing rate. Most male models are g
ul claim to be "vers i
way of meeting interesting me
wouldn't ordinarily meet. A good model
not bothered by the age, weight, height
or kinky demands of his cl
honest: а veritable boy scout.
The street hustler 1
of it. There's no telephone, no way of
screening the crazies, no way of spot
Lily Law in plain clothes. The pay i
bad. A kid сап freeze his ass off on a
winter night and go home with ten dol-
lars for a blow job. Generally, street
hustlers are sexually passive. And they're
ncers who ca
ile.
“Beverly, 1 thought we agreed there would be none of
that except during commercials and official time outs!”
you
ping
Melendez was the classi
ter, Knight the dassie John. Though
opposites on the socioeconomic scale,
they shared the same patriarchal burden.
And little by little, Felix had fallen in
Jove with his John.
than the house models. Pill pop-
nd heroin are part of the scene.
street hus-
.
Through the years, stories have been
written comparing the elder Knight to
Joseph. Kennedy. Although tragedy fol-
lowed Knight all his life the way tire
tracks follow а Cadillac down a muddy
bility is his middle name. Still,
n eraser in his head and can
obliterate the past at will. But first he
has to know it all.
Knight has just returned to his office
at the Akron Beacon Journal—the first
newspaper in his chain and still his
home base—and getting through to him
on the phone is easy. A secretary answers
and suggests that I tell her what the
call is about. "He's busy now," she says.
"III tell him."
An hour later, Knight phones back.
His opening words are, "I'm gunshy.
ve talked to Newsweek and Time
and been misquoted,” he continues.
“To discuss my relationship with my
grandson is still painful.
Nevertheless, he states that young
ohn was an excellent newsman, "No
doubt about that.” And that he knows
his grandson was liked both personally
ly. Had he lived, his c
would have been a brilliant one.
We had a close relationship, John
and I—a close and warm relationship.
We understood cach other and were on
the best of terms, There were no difer-
any differences. And 1 have
rimination about any of what
ppened.
After John’s death, I spent three
ys in solitary at Massachusetts General
Hospital, thinking over every aspect of
his life as it applied to me. There is
nothing that I would have done differ-
ently. No changes ГӘ have made.”
1 ask if he'll sec me, if only ıo remi-
nisce about his grandson's life, as op-
posed to the circumstances surrounding
his de
"Re
and profession
ге
ng our relations
nful" he repeats.
p would be
Em alr
not,"
In the late spring o£ 1976, I phone him
he refuses to be
ath
But once à
interviewed at any le
"Let me just reiterate that stories about
my late grandson's wealth are greatly ex-
aggerated. Ollicially, he was not the heir.
That had been reported erron
John held some stock, which I gave to
him, but we're a corporation and a man
has to earn his own way in the business.
Despite Grandpa's protest, unofficially
there was never John was
the heir or th: ng groomed
ously.
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the next Citizen Knight, Had his abili-
ties swayed toward the business end of
journalism, he'd have been shipped oft
to Miami, because The Miami Herald is
the best school for learning the corporate
aspects of journalism. Since signs of
printers ink had flowed through
veins, the master plan had been to send
young John to Detroit after his gradua-
tion from Harvard. There, the corpo
tion could find out if he was a good
reporter. At The Detroit Free Press, he'd
have to produce, He could also learn
the ropes, from paper routing to adver-
ising. Once schooled, he would be trans-
ferred to Philadelphia, where the two
Knight Ridder papers are the best train-
ing grounds for xecutive edito
or
y strong, Grandfather Knight took
the role of father almost from the mo-
ment John was born, leaving his mother
а sort of subordinate figure who went
along with decisions regarding the m.
ter plan. Grandfather responsible
for sending John away from home to
school when he was moderately young.
for pu his ear about Ox-
ford and Harvard.
А pesimist would think that the bu
den of tradition would drive a kid up
wall, but John III adored, coddled
ed his grandfather. “He
ich time he talked about the old m:
newspaper chum, “but I think he
deep penetrating anger and hate
toward him, He was desperately afraid
nd
nuflected
of his grandfather, He was afraid of do-
ing wrong, afraid of his wrath and dis-
pleasure.” Patricide was the name of the
game. Or, to be exact, grandpatricide.
Ironically, most people who know the
elder Knight claim he would not have
been vindictive had John confessed his
homosexual feelings. If young John had
a reasonable adul
other man, it’s un
But John
ng with street kids. Boy or girl
(uation was a flammable one.
Too much w - A scandal of the
chicken ha alfect the cor-
future
pire. No way would G
approve.
А
December 1. They've sei
Sol
ed Salvatore
i. 1 think if 1 were Soli, ГА
ге Med to Miami, too. The weather
chilly in Philly, Frigid, I read Sol
story and decide to call my parents
a m near Palm
Th
sunburn, sw the pool. They want to
know what I'm up to. I ask if th
been anything about Soli's capture in the
Flo pers. My father tells me he's
heard about the limes. He suggests
that 1 move from my dump in Manhat-
tan. If I can't afford the rent in а good
au
Beach.
y beg me to visit them, get a little
high-rise, he'll help me out.
Parents, commitments, obligatior
г the grown son |
ans and I
casi
1 of his philandering, with
his arrest record. and track marks, was
still closer to his mother than С
to Philly. Mom
her son every day.
orp!
Soli, with
no matter where he
was, He hadn't called since the Knight
murder,
What could be more natural
r Antoinette Soli to go on televi-
Salvi, please come home
or get in touch with me. Let me know
ht. You may be dead like
y Felix Melende.
ugh the magic of the media
ids her son that she is critically
g suffered a massive heart attack
before. “The operation
nsuccesslul, she weeps. “They
expect me to live more than a
At Chock Full o' Nuts, where I wait
for friend to meet me. Mrs. `$
anguished face leaps out from the pages
of the News. A hooker on the next stool
reads the article with relish.
"He should be in a mental institu
tion," she says to the counterwoman,
he aggravation hes giving his poor
other.
She puts down her Ne
they're giving a reward,
“I wonder if
she says to no
icular. She orders another cof-
one
fe
Lighe”
Two of he
cohorts enter the place.
One is a Katy Jurado look-alike who
glances at Soli's picture.
“He looks familiar. Cute,” she says-
“Just caught," says the first hooker
k they're
ирет the
for nothing. Wouldn't you
atm
"No," I answer. "Not for nothing." I
make a mental note to check the mirror
to sce if my skin has turned lavender.
.
As it happened, there was no rew:
li was turned in by a woman i
he had taken up with
blonde “burlesque dance
protect herself, By the time the whole
story of Soli's and Maleno's actions after
the murder finally was pieced together
from trials, news accounts and personal
interviews, it read like a James M. Cain
novel. What started out as а simple rip-
olf ended wp as a sordid melodrama
starring smalltime characters in an out-
of-control plot. The melodrama also fea-
tured the murder of Felix Melendez,
y Knight's apartment, Soli
and Maleno checked into à motel in New
They summoned Melendez, de
g to know why he had run amuck
ward. I'd do it with him
She looks
t did you kill h al
I ought to kill you now. Did
t McKinnon broad, too? You
t you? What the fuck hap-
you stab th
did, did
was panicstricken. He had just
ıl that lie knew nothin;
y caught by his teacher in
way out was to ‘Less up.
g John's apartment and she
1, hollering. She grabbed
me. I stabbed her. I was scared.”
"Don't tell us eno.
“What happened? Why did you stab t
we ant”
Felix rasped, “I'm telling the truth. I
stabbed her in the clev
hand.
her.
Stev
nd cut her
to kill
That's the truth
continued to interrogate.
They battered Felix with queries and ac-
ions and refused to accept any of
his answers. Crazy with anger, Steve the
took a butcher knife and sliced Felix’
head. Blood gushed. It trickled down his
onto his coat, onto the couch. But
held in the pain, fearing that the
мем provocation would start Maleno
and Steve shut themselves
into the kitcheneue area. "What are we
going to do demanded
about
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Steve. "We can't trust him. He knows too
much. What should we do? Leave the
country? Leave the state? Keep running?"
"The men decided that the logical move
would be to Пес. But first they watched
the 11-›.м. television newscast. Though
not named. Soli, Melendez and Maleno
were described, down to the track marks
on Soli's arm, courtesy of Rosemary Mc
Kinnon's amazing memory. It was
other twinge of pain in the onge
nightmare for all of them.
Toward midnight, they left the motel
After a couple of hours of driving, they
ched a deserted arca near Camden.
stopped at a dead end
id, "We've got to bury this shii
and he and Felix got out of the car.
They headed toward а wooded area
Steve carried a bag containing coats,
dungarees, shirts and shoes that they had
worn when they ripped oll Knight's
apartment, as well as blood-soaked towels
from Felix’ head wound. Both Steve and
Felix started digging a hole in which to
dispose of the мий. But Steve started
again. “Why did you kill that man?”
He pulled a gun from the waist of his
pants. And fired point-blank at Felix’
face. Felix fell. Leaning over him, Steve
fired two more shots.
Hurricdly, he took the bag with the
garments and returned to the car, Less
than a mile away, he dumped the cloth-
ing into a suburban garbage can. Then
he dismantled the gun and, piece by
piece, tossed it out the car window. Par-
ticles of the weapon became part of the
New Jersey landscape.
Fearing that he'd become part of the
landscape himself, Soli decided to split
from. Maleno. Maleno returned to Phila-
delphia. Three days later, he surren-
dered. Soli drove to Miami. He dyed his
hair strawberry blond, cut off his mus-
tache and took up with a blonde bomb-
shell. The bombshell turned him in.
.
. He dated a few, but
Many of his dates worked
“Women? Sui
no one heavi
at the paper.
The speaker is Ladd Neuman, Knight's
editor at The Detroit Free Press. He's
talking about the straight side of
Knight's sex life.
“Did they come back the morning after
and discuss John's prowess?” I ask.
"No," replies Neuman. “He dated
them like friends, which is to say that
he'd take them out to a show and that's
it. John's women were two types: the
Detroit Free Press kind, who were safe
acquaintances, and the women he didn't
know and would screw around with.
Those he called foxes or foxy chicks.
Hed brag about how great they
she had a hell of a body’ or
“She was good in bed.
Did John ever say what he did in bed?
Neumin's face grows pensive, as if he's
wying to reconstruct a scene that hap-
pened a million or so years ago. Finally,
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But this month the editors of Ё N,
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ANGER. This th's pa
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which Stallone, Fonda and
others tell why they may not
particularly care for you, either.
oul then gives you dozens of
reasons to be angry you never
even considered. An exclusive
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versa. Even our centerfold has
something on her chest.
October oul. Special Anger
Issue. Buy it, goddamnit.
PLAYBOY
238
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he lights on the scene and remarks that
John was never specific as to whether his
ste ran to oral or anal or sel-abuse or
I or fetishism or whatever, but there
was a woman who worked in the mayor's
office, who once said something.
"This was a real lik
Neuman. "She was a free-spirited woman
who was nicknamed Miss
of a zipper dress she had that came olt
easily. When 1 knew her, she was mak-
ing it with someone at the burcau and
driving him out of his mind. She'd talk
very freely about her sex life, too. Well,
onc day she came in and said she was
‘freaked out! I asked why. "Well, she
said, "E made it with John last night.
And 1 said, ‘You did? What about your
other friend? She answered, ‘Actually,
John's a better fuck than my other
friend.’ I then asked if she was going
back for more. ‘No,’ she said, ‘because I
sort of felt like one of his possessions. I
got freaked out by being shown every-
thing in his apartment, from his stereo
to his etchings.”
“Because of that kind of feedback, I
never suspected John had a homosexual
street Ше. 1 just thought he was kind of
stuck on himself. 1 assumed he wasn't
letting women get close to him because
of his money, but I remember thinking
that its still odd. Why didn't he ever
good, heavy, long-term rom:
What the hell was h
Was he hurt in the past? Every now and
then, he'd mention some girl in London
whom he chimed he was pining for.
That nten herself
married to someone else.
"Now, if vou sit and talk with some of
the Free Press reporters, they'll tell vou,
‘I thought maybe John was gay because
he dressed too macho or something like
that. Shit, I knew John better than any-
body in Detroit, and I didn't know his
secret. In fact, the one or two times that
I had any reason to suspect anything, I
kicked those reasons off becuse John
was coming on so strong with the foxy-
chick rap. He'd constantly barrage me in
а kind of locker-room way about the new-
est girl in town.
"One night, we went to what was De-
trois rowdiest, raunchiest topless go-go
joint, the Golddiggers Lounge. We drank
ourselves blind and closed the place.
John kept trying to put the make on one
of the waitresses. She wouldn't go along
y left the bar, and
John spotted this same waitress outside
and took off after her. I figured he was
going to get himself in trouble, be
cause you don't run. up to someone in
the street in Detroit at two-thiny in the
morning, no matter who ye
“John talked to her like à Dutch uncle
She was really dynamite—not too
bright—and the next thing 1 knew, she
was walking back to John's car. Later, I
asked him how he finally managed, after
ible girl,” recalls
ipper because
rh he said, had
with it, So we fi
re.
т
E
a
nus
e
=
i
"Isn't it time you graduated from two-strokes, Clive?”
239
PLAYBOY
TEENS :
Не got
socks appeal.
The man who knows how to put his feet up and relax wear:
socks from Interwoven that come in a
So she'll love him in blue as much
s him in green. Because the Interwoven Man has soc!
Xnterivoton
240 ©1978 Available at Fine Department and Men's Stores.
having failed to entice the waitress in the
bar. He said he told her he had a great
record collection and a terrific stereo.”
.
Knight's secret diaries have been held
by the police since his murder and my
chances of learning what's in them have
been slim until I make the right connec-
tion.
"The detective suggests that I stay away
from headquarters. He asks where I'm
calling from. I tell him I'm at a phonc
booth near the Troc Burlesque Theater.
I also tell him who my contact is. He
says he's been waiting for my call. I
know this is as close as I'm going to get
to Knight's diaries.
An hour later, he pulls up and
beckons me into his car. Cramped in the
back seat is a dog of unspecified breed,
probably a bastard relative of the family
that carries whiskey to lost skiers in the
Alps. The animal is cither on Valium ог
three steps from death. It hardly moves.
The detective calls it Ruth. Definitely
not watchdog material.
Ruth and I have something in com-
mon: Neither of us stirs as the detective
drives us to an area of Philadelphia com-
pletely alien to me. He pulls to a stop,
pats Ruth's head and says, "We won't
be long, girl." The detective and I enter
a restaurant decorated in early Signund
Romberg. We take a corner booth.
“Let's talk about the diaries," I say.
Let's look at the menu first," he says.
We order Scotch straight and settle
for Wiener schnitzel, The drink takes a
long time in coming.
“What, specifically, do you want to
know?
"Everything. Were the entries daily?"
"Daily for maybe a one- or two-week
period. Then Knight would stop for
three. Then there'd be Saturday, Sunday,
Monday—that kind of thing. Some of
the entries were short. Like, ‘Start work-
ing more.’ ‘Start straightening things
out.” Most of them were about feelings.
He'd write about sex, reacting positively
to a good sexual encounter with a wom-
an. That would make him happy. But
then he'd write about a homosexual ex-
perience and he'd write with obviously
more.
“Soul-searching?" I offer.
"No. Not soul-searching. If he had a
really terrific homosexual experience,
he'd describe it in much more glowing
kinds of enjoyment terms. The descrip-
tion of heterosexual relationships that
were successful, I guess, made him proud,
or bootstrapped him into a sense of ‘I'm
on the right road now.’ And yet the
homosexual experiences were more ful-
filling to him from the standpoint of
emotions,”
“Were they strictly blow jobs, pardon
the expression?”
The detective laughs. "The expression
is pardoned,” he says. "In polite circles,
we call it fellatio, No. Not strictly blow
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PLAYBOY
242
jobs at all, though blow jobs seemed to
be, according to Knights entries, the
most titillating experience of all.”
ione to him?"
o. That he did."
scinating."
“Yeah. Fellatio that he did.”
“Did Knight discuss his homosexuality
at length in the diarie:
“He talked about homosexual exper
ences and how cuphoric he had been ii
overcame, rather than accept as part of
one’s make-up. I know for people like
you it’s fine, but for this poor t was
death. It is fine with you, isn't i
105 fine with me.”
"When he was drunk, he'd often go
out to Rittenhouse Square or Spruce
Street and pick up some kid. He'd wake
up the next morning and give the guy
a hundred dollars and tell him to get
lost. Melendez was never fully accepting
of that from the start. He didn't like the
idea of being rejected that way. Melen-
dez tried to make contact with him. Bas
cally, John didn't want to have anything
to do with him. In his sober or lucid
moments, John was ashamed of Melen-
dez. That offended the kid. I'm not say-
ing that that motivated Melendez to
intentionally go out and get Knight.
But if you accept the proposition that
Melendez killed Knight, it explains the
rage that would instill in Melendez the
urge to kill."
"You were in Knight's apartment. You
worked on the case," 1 ce they
won't be bringing it up in court, can
you tell me exactly what was found in
ight's foot locker?”
About three hundred dollars’ worth
of pornographic books and commercial
movies, the cight-millimeter vari
None of it was homemade, in the sense
that it was filmed by Knight. It was the
мий you buy in pornographic shops. A
lot of hard-core pornographic books,
most of them homosexual, Somewhat
ironically, some old childhood books.
The kind of books that a kid has when
And the diaries.”
me were found, but not in the
foot locker. They were found in suit
piled up next to the door. It looked like
somebody intended to haul the sex toys
out of there as part of the loot. In one
of the suitcases was а couple of double-
ended dildos. No leather or whips or
handcuffs or cat-o-ninczails.
“Different people take diflerent views
about Knight's ap: I maintain
that you could visit his place and never
know that it was the home of a homo-
sexual Maybe I'm mot sophisticated
enough to know.”
“Get off it. You're too sophis
tment.
ety. ^
“Thanks. Other people have said you
could tell it was a homosexual’s quarters
from the artwork. There was a Japanese
print in one of the bathrooms—an ex-
plicit sexual scene. Some detectives con-
cluded, from the painting, that the guy
ed men. I remember going through
the apartment with a couple of cops and
they were examining the ceiling very
closely to check if there had ever been a
mirror on it. It tickled the hell out of
nc. Totally unrealistic. Sure, there were
mirrors in the gymnasium where he
worked out—but what does that tell?
One of our men thought he might have
another pad somewhere. A ‘trick’ apart-
ment. No such thing.
"Knights apartment got a good
thorough overhaul. After sifting through
his possessions, I realized that there w;
no damn underwear, anywhere. I said,
"Wait a minute. This is not re Then
we found out that most of Knights stuff
was at the laundry."
гаг underwear?
.” He grins. "Doesn't everybody?
He doesn't answer, either, but 1 can
sec he docs.
D
Knight's last rites took place at the
Suiffler-Hamby Mortuary in Columbus,
Georgia, his home town. Columbus
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native son was eulogized as a "young
man blessed by birth, circumstances and
family. A young man with God-given
gi The minister explained that
there is a sense of unreality, that this
man's passing is a bad dream. But it is
reality. And our first thought is, Why? 1
can't answer. I can only comfort.”
In the vestibule, police made copies
of the 500 or so signatures in the chapel
guest book. After the service, mourners
went by car to Parkhill Cemetery nearby.
Knight's grandfather remained in his
automobile. His widowed mother, Doro-
thy, stood silently as the coffin was
lowered. A local television-news team
filmed the rites from a hilly point over-
looking the gravesite. A wireservice
photographer moved among the mourn-
ers below.
.
In Philadelphia, plans are made to
bury Melendez. Three days after Knight
is laid to rest, a service is held for Felix
at the Pullo Funeral Home in South
Philadelphia.
The crowd there is small. No TV
cameras, no media monitors visible out-
side the parlor, despite the fact that this
is the most publicized murder case in
Philadelphia history. | nod solemnly at
the pomaded mortician's aide at the
door. He g s for me to sign the
guest book. I don't—instead, I find a
scat near the back of the parlor.
The mourners are mostly young girls
in miniskirts, craggy-aced mommas,
babies and teenage boys with long eye.
lashes and Philadelphia Flyers jackets.
They occupy 20 rows of bridge chairs,
which come to a halt a yard from the
casket
Sobbing everywhere. A young girl
whimpers and a baby cries and another
girl cries and another. Who are they?
Friends of Felix'?
They make me feel out of place and
1 ат out of place, conspicuous to myself
because I shouldn't be here; somewhat
guiltridden because I am here. Interest-
ing that I should feel this way among
Mclendez acquaintances. Interesting that
I can move comfortably, snug in the
fact that I'm doing my professional duty,
among Knight's peers.
I notice a plainclothesman from police
headquarters, He notices me, too, but
he averts his eyes from mine. Another
intruder. "Thank the Lord.
The place soon fills to capacity. From
where I sit, it's difficult to see Melendez’
death face in the open coffin. There is
a line of 15 people waiting to get a view.
One of the viewers is a repeater. I get in
line.
Moving to the coffin is a slow process.
Once there, the procedure is to look at
the body for as long as you want, then
get back to your seat or leave the parlor.
Most of the viewers sneak a quick glance.
One viewer gazes and prays for what
seems an hour. The line in back of me
is long
My turn. The coffin is plushed up with
white satin. Melendez clad in a tan sum-
mer suit. Long and lanky. Tic tied in
a tight Windsor knot. Hands folded
across his chest. Hair slicked back. The
cosmetician has done a remarkable job
of hiding whatever damage the bullet
wounds had done to his countenance.
Felix looks like a waxwork of Rudolph
Valentino. He sports а half-smile. Or is
it a silent snicker?
Enough. My eyes shift to his shoes.
heap, with those tiny ventilation air
Heels in А-1 condition, Big fect.
No sign of socks.
Below his feet rests a pretty heart-
shaped bouquet of white gladioli. Tied
to the bouquet is a card. The card reads,
pApby. That's all. DADDY.
The gladioli and the pAppv card are
buried with Felix.
Steve Maleno pleaded. guilty to the
murders of John Knight and Felix Me-
lendez. Salvatore Soli pleaded innocent
to both murders, stood trial in Philadel-
phia and Camden and was found guilty
of first-degree murder on both counts.
Both Soli and Maleno are serving life
sentences.
243
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PLAYBOY
246 atrical wink.
FALLING ANGEL
(continued from page 192)
“She stiffened. It was as if someone touched the
back of her neck with an ice cube.”
I grinned and sniffed my drink. “Must
be swell having so many memories.
“You writin’ a book, son? I can spot
me a book writer quick as a fox recog-
nizes a hen."
“You're close, old fox. I'm wor
a piece for Look magazine.”
“A story ‘bout Toots in Look? Right in
there with Doris Day! Haw!”
“Well, I won't put you on, Toots. The
story's going to be about Johnny Fave
ite.”
"Who?"
“A crooner. Used to sing with Spider
Simpson's swing band back in the early
Forties.”
"Yeah. I remember Spider. He played
the drums like two jackhammers fuck-
ing.”
“What do youremember about Johnny
Favorite?" I asked. “I heard you were
pretty good pals,”
“Son, he made a record of one of my
songs way back when and I thank him
for all the longgone royalty checks, but
he sure didn't come uptown to sce me.”
“Who did he come uptown to see?"
Toots Sweet ducked his eyes in mock
coyishness. “You gettin’ me to tell tales
out of school, son.”
“What does it matter after all these
years?” I said. "I gather he was seeing a
lady."
“She was every inch a lady, to be sure.”
“Tell me her nam
"It ain't no secret. Anyone who was
around ‘fo’ the war knows Evangeline
Proudfoot was makin’ the scene with
Johnny Favorite.”
“None of the downtown press seemed
to know.”
“Son, if you was crossin’ the line in
them days, it wasn't something you
wanted to brag about.”
“Who was Evangeline Proudfoot?
Toots smiled. "A beautiful, strong.
West Indian woman," he said. "She was
ten, fifteen years older than Johnny, but
still such а fox that he was the one
looked the fool.”
"Know where І could get in touch with
her?"
"Ain't seen Evangeline in years. She
got ill. Store's still there, so maybe she is,
too.
"What sort of store was that?" I did
my best to keep any trace of cop out of
my question.
"Evangeline had an herb shop over on
Lenox. Stayed open till midnight every
day "cept Sunday." Toots gave me a the-
“Time to play some то".
ing on
You gonna stick around for another set,
son?"
“TI be back,” Ts:
.
Proudfoot Pharmaceuticals was located
on the northwest corner of Lenox Ауе-
nue and 123rd Street. The name hung
in the window in s ch bluce-ncon
script. I parked half a block down and
looked the place over. Fluorescent lights
hung from a pressed-tin ceiling; old-
fashioned glass-fronted wooden shelves
ran along the far p of a
dock pendulum seemed the only activity.
1 went inside. A smell of burning in-
cense stung the air. Bells tinkled above
my head as I shut the door. On a revoly-
ing metal stand near the entrance, a
collection of "dream books" and pam-
phlets addressing the various problems of
love competed for the customer's atten-
tion in gaudy Multilith jackets. 1 was
mining the perfumed, colored candles
guaranteed to bring good fortune with
continued use when a lovely mocha-
skinned girl came in from the back room
and stood behind the counter. She wore
white smock over her dress and looked.
about 19 or 20. "May I help you?" she
asked. Just beneath her carefully raodu-
lated diction lingered the melodic calyp-
so lilt of the ibbean.
"Is Miss Proudfoot on the premises?”
I'm Miss Proudfoot,” she s;
"Miss Evangeline Proudfoot?’
"Fm Epiphany. Evangeline was my
mother.
“You say was?"
Momma died last yea
"I'm sorry to hear that.
“She'd been sick for a long time, flat
on her back for years. It
"She left you a lovely name, Epipha-
ny," I said, "It fits you.”
Beneath her coffee-and-milk comple:
ion, she flushed slightly. "She left me
good deal more than that. This store's
been making a profit for forty years. Did
you do business with Momm:
No, we never met. I was hoping she
might answer some questions for m
Epiphany Proudfoot's topaz eyes dar
ened. “What're you, some kind of cop?
1 smiled, the Look alibi engraved on
my silver tongue, but I figured she was
too smart to buy it, so I said, “Private
nse. I can show you a photostat.
Never mind your dimestore photo-
1. Why did you want to talk to Mom-
"m lool
Favorite."
She stiffened. It was as if someone
touched the back of her neck vith an ice
ing for a man named Johnny
cube. “He's dead," she said.
"No, he's not, although most. people
m to think so.”
аг as I'm concerned, he’s dead.”
Did you know him?"
friend of
your mother's.
"That was before I was born," she said.
“Did your mother ever talk to you
about him?"
"Surely, Mr. . . . whoever you are, you
don't expect me to betray my momma's
confidences, I clearly see you are not a
gentleman."
I let that one pass. "Perhaps you can
tell me if you or your mother ever saw
Johnny Favorite in. say, the last fifteen
years or so.”
"I told you we never met, and I was
always introduced to all Momma's
friends."
I got out my wallet, the one I carry
cash in, and gave her my Crossroads card.
"OK," I said, “it was a long shot, any-
way. That's my office number on the
bottom. I wish you'd call me if you think
of anything or hear of anybody having
seen Johnny Favorite.”
She smiled, but there was no
in it. “What're you after him for
“I'm not ‘after’ him; I just want to
know where he
She stuck my card in the glass of the
ornate brass cash register. “And what if
he's dead?’
“I get paid either way.”
It was almost a real laugh this time. “I
hopc you find him six feet under," she
said.
.
By the time I got back to the Red
Rooster, I'd missed an entire set and
‘Toots was sitting on the same stool at the
bar. A glass of champagne fizzed at his
elbow. I lit a cigarette as I edged through
the crowd. "Find out what you were
alter?" Toots asked without interest.
angeline Proudfoot is dead.”
Dead? Now, that is a for-certain
shame. She was onc finc lady.”
“You seem to have known her pretty
well, What more can you tell me about
her affair with Johnny Favorite?”
Toots Sweet lumbered to his tiny feet,
“I can't tell you nothin’, son. I'm too big
to go around hiding under bed:
it’s time fo" me to go back to work.
He flashed his star-studded grin and
started for the bandstand. I tagged along
like an eager newshound. “I'm in no hur-
ry. 1 сап listen to you play all night
“Just sit out the set, son." Toots lifted
the curved lid of the baby grand. A
chicken foot lay on the keyboard. He
slammed the lid shut, “Stop hangin’ over
my shoulder!" he growled. “I got to play
now.
"What was that?
“That was nothin’, Never you
that”
But it was not nothing. It was the foot
ind
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19 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAY ‘7B. x y ^h h
4
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The man. The cigarette.
themselves.
Ordinary cigarettes just
Camel Filters has.
Its blend of Turkish and
gives him what he smoke:
Pleasure. Satisfaction.
A Camel Fiiters Man u!
Yirg ма 7774 LR ir
т | Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined [©
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“This woman, she is like my tequila.
Smooth, but with a lot of spirit."
Her name was—well we're not sure. And she
appears to have been the only other love Two Fingers
had besides his tequila.
“It’s her spirit I capture in the tequila I make. It is
soft but, oh, so passionate,” he reportedly said.
She traveled with Two Fingers as he brought the
taste of this special tequila—Two Fingers Tequila —
north of the border.
And then, without warning, they both disap-
peared leaving behind only the passionate taste of the
Two Fingers Tequila we enjoy today. ©1978. Imported and Bottled by Hiram
Walker & Sons, Inc., Peoria, Il., Tequila, 80
Send for our free recipe booklet: Two Fingers Tequila, P.0. Box 14100, Detroit, MI 48214 Proof. Product of Mexico. 750 ml (25.4 fl. oz.)
The most exciting calculator ever
designed...
» The
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Project the winning horses intelligently and reliably, with this
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W Simple sequence of operation for between race selections
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The CPR Rating System is amazingly accurate, as proven
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the Racelrack Computer's highest rated contender ran a
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Specifications: Ш Solid-State Circuitry Ш Integrated Com-
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О Also send ____ AC Adaptor(s) @ $4.95 ea.
О Check or Money Order enclosed (CA res. add 6%
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O Charge my credit card number below.
D BankAmericard/Visa O Master Charge
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E] American Express E] Carte Blanche I Diners Clüb
Credit Card No. Exp. Date
Name =
Address
City/State/Zip
Signature
Starshine Group.
924 Anacapa Street, Dept. 474, Santa Barbara, Ca 93101
Starshine Inc.. 1978
ws
PLAYBOY
ws
The Desk Top
Executive Entertainment Center
5 TV-AM Radio-FM Radio - Digital Clock: Alarm Clock
Perfect For Your Office...The Kitchen, Bedroom, Den or Dorm.
Extraordinary, isn’t it, what common
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one radically new feature, is the first and
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A triumvirate of usefulness, A master-
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Additional Highlights
The Television comes complete with
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The Digital Clock can be used to control
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And is an ideal way to minimize distract-
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15-Day No-Risk Trial so you can send
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Now, tucked neatly in а corner of your
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Of course, the Executive Entertainment
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The Executive Entertainment Center
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To order. simply send your check to
DOUGLAS DUNHILL, INC., Dept. 80-2403
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CREDIT CARD BUYERS
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800-325-6400
OPERATOR #03
{Missouri residents call 800-342-6600)
GLAS DUNHILL
б, p
d ©
: :
EN $
CRpaBLe auPY
Dept. 80-2403
4225 Frontage Rd. • Oak Forest, IL 60452
of a chicken, spanning an octave from
the sharp yellow claw on the lizardlike
toe to where it was cut oll above the
joint and bleeding.
"s going on, Toots?”
Wha
Toots hissed. "Nothin's going on ve
got to know about. Now, 1 ain't talking
to you no mo’. Not after the set. Not
never
"Who's alter you, Toots?"
“You git оша here.”
"i
do with й
Toots spoke very slowly, ignoring the
s player who appeared at his should
If you don't get the hell out of her
ıt onto the sidewalk, vo"
avorite have to
does Johnny F
by
na wish yo" lily-white ass never was
born."
1 met the bass players implacable gaze
а full
and glanced around. Thi
house. | knew how Custer mu
upon the hilltop at Little B
“AIL 1 got to do," Toots said,
the word.”
"You don't need to send a telegram.
Toots." 1 dropped my butt onto the
dance floor, ground it under my heel
is say
was parked in the same spot
mth and 1 headed for it when
ht changed. 1 got in behind the
wheel, lit another cigarette and settled
down to wait.
Toots came out of the club about five
minutes before A |
led to a stop at his shrill, two-
fingered whistle. 1 switched on the igni-
tion and tailed the cab to 152nd Street,
where it stopped in front of one of the
Harlem River Houses and waited out
front with the door open and the roof
light off. Toots was just running upstairs.
1 turned my headlights off and. doubl
parked where E could watch the cab. He
was back in minutes. He car
plaid canvas bowling-ball bag.
The cab took a left at Macomb's
Place amd continued downtown on
Fighth Avenue. I stayed three blocks
back and kept it in sight all the way to
Frederick Douglass Circle, where it swung
cast on 10th and followed the northern
wall of Central Park, 1 parked around
the corner on St, Nicholas in time to see
the cab drive off and the retreating form
of Toots Sweet, a shadow sliding into the
shadow world of the dark and silent p:
E
He kept to the path bordering
western rim of Harlem Meer. 1 stayed
oll to one side in the shadows, but Toots
never looked back. He hurried along
»ward the Loch, the most remote section
of Central Park, The path wound into a
deep ravine crowded with trees and
shrubs and completely cut off from the
city. It was dark there and very still. For
moment, 1 thought 1 had lost Toots.
Then E heard the drums.
1 edged through the trees until I
ached the cover of a large rock. Four
cab squ
jed а red.
x the
white candles flickered on saucers set on
the ground. I counted 15 people standing
in the dim light. There were three drum-
h playing an instrument of a
size.
wing a white dress and
scribed convoluted designs on the
ground between the candles. She used
fuls of flour like а Hopi sand ра
cing the swirling figures around а
hole dug into the packed earth,
She turned and her face was illuminated
by candle flame. It was Epiphany Proud-
foot.
The onlookers swayed from side to
side, chanting and clapping in time with
the drumming. Several men shook gourd
rattles. 1 watched Toots Sweet wield his
like Xavier Cugat fronting a
mba band
Epiphany was l
efor in spite of the
cold. twirling handfuls of Pillsbury's Best
onto the ground, When the design was
finished, she jumped back, reaching he
ghostwhite hands above her head like
cheerleader of doom. Her spastic shimmy
n had the whole crowd dancing.
Shadows shifted grotesquely in the u
even candlelight. The demonic he
of the drums caught the dancers in its
spell. Their eyes rolled back
heads; spittle frothed on the
g lips. Men and women rubbed
d, pelvises thrustin,
of sex. The
whites of their eyes gleamed like opals in
their sweating faces.
piphany's white dress clung to her
. young body. She reached into
г basket, removing а leg-bound
rooster. The bird held up his head
proudly, his blood-red comb vivid in the
candlelight. Epiphany rubbed the white
st hi
breasts as she danced
ressed
cing
ng the crowd, she
cach of the others in turn. A p
cockcrow silenced the drums.
Gliding gracefully, Epiphany be
the circular pit and cut the roosters
with a deft turn of a razor. Blood
ngs thrashed w
neers moaned.
swayed forward а
to the p ings of coins, 1
fuls of dried corn, assorted cookies. can
dies and fruit. А woman poured a Боце
of Coca-Cola over the dead chicken.
the limp
One by one
d dropped. ойе
Afterward, Epiphany too
bird and hung it, upside down, from the
branches of a nearby tree. Things be;
10 break up about then. The congrega-
on slipped oll into the darkness without
a word ol farewell. Toots, Epiphany and
two or three others walked. back along
the path toward Harle
1 tailed them through the shadows.
skirting the path and keeping out of
sight among the trees. By the Meer, the
;odness! I didn't know that—
1 thought it was just drinking while on duty
you weren't supposed to do."
247
PLAYBOY
248
path divided. Toots headed toward the
venth Avenue exit. I planned оп beat-
ing him home.
1 scaled the rough stone wall and
for the Chevy. The streets were n
rly
empty and I sped uptown without miss-
ing a light.
I parked near the corner of Macomb's
Place and walked the rest of the way
through the Harlem River Houses dev
opment. I found the entrance to Toots's
building on 15?nd and looked for
his apartment number on the row of
brass mailboxes set into the brick wall.
The front door was no problem. 1 got
it open with my penknife blade in less
than a minute. Toots lived on the third
floor. Т climbed the stairs and checked.
out his nothing 1
could do е, so I
sat on the steps leading up and waited.
.
didn't have to wait long. I heard
im pulling up the stairs and stubbed my
butt out against the bottom of my shoe.
When he had the door open, 1 made my
I caught him from behi
his coat collar and shovin,
d into the apartment. He stumbled
10 his knees. D switched on the ceiling
light and closed the door behind me.
Toots hufled to his feet. panting like
ight hand plunged
па came out hold-
I shifted my weight.
t to hurt you, old man."
He lumbered forward, waving the ra
zor. 1 caught his arm with my left hand
d stepped in close, bringing my knee
up hard. Toots sagged and sat down
with a soft grunt. I twisted his wrist and
he dropped the razor onto the с
kicked it against the wall,
Dumb, Toots.” T picked up the ri
folded it and put it into my pocket.
Toots sat, holding his belly with both
hands. "What vou want with
moaned. “You're no writer
Getting smarter, So save the bullshit
and tell me what you know about Johnny
Favorit
m hurt. E feel a
Ш bust
ed up inside."
sten. Toots” 1 said. "I saw your
: the park, Epiphany
Proudfoors number with the chick
it was poing on?
)beah," he groaned. "Voodoo. Not
every black man is a Baptist."
пас about the Proudfoot gir
does she fit in?
She's a mambo, like her mother was
before her, Been comin’ to humfo meet
s since she was tem. Took over as
priestess at th ;
“That when Ex
sick?
“Yeah, Somethin’ like that.”
1 offered Toots a smoke, but he shook
his head. F lit one myself and asked. "Was
Johnny Favorite into voodoo?
"He was runnin’ "
bo, wasn't һе?
Wh;
> How
ngeline Proudfoot got
round with the mam-
“Did he go to meetings?"
" "Course he did. Lots of 'em. He was
а hunst-bosal.
initiated but not bap.
“When was the last time vou saw
Johnny Favorite at one of your chicken
snuffings:
“I tol" you, I ain't seen him since ‘fo!
the war.
"What about the chicken foot? The
one in the piano?”
Jeans I talk too much."
About Johnny Favorite?
“ "Bout things in general.”
Vot good enough, Toots.
litle smoke in his face.
piano with
I blew a
г to play
st?
se, but sagged back,
You wouldn't do tha:
the old
nuck-
d for emph:
nything you want,” he said.
h right along.
"t seen Johnny
the last fifteen y
“Мо”
What about Evange
She ever mention seeing him
“Not where I could hear it. Far as she
was concerned, Johnny Favorite was dead
and buried.”
“Toots, ГИ ta
you. How coi
tooth like d
Toots grimaced. The сшош star
glinted in the overhead light, “That's so
folks be sure I'm a nigger. Wouldn't
want "em to make any mistakes.”
“Why is it upside down?”
"Look nicer that way
1 placed one of my Crossroads cards on
top of the TV. “I'm leaving a card with
my number on it, If you hear anything,
give me a cal
“Yeah. Т got enough
awready I got to start phonin' up
“You never know. You might need
some help next time you get a special-
delivery chicken foot.”
Outside, dawn smudged th
like rouge on a chorus girl's che
ng to the car, I dropped Toots's pe
ndled razor into a garbage can,
“You have
€ à chance and believe
а star on your
you wear
troubles
m
night sky
Walk
1-
.
The sun was shining when 1 finally hit
the sack, but I managed to sleep until al-
most noon in spite of bad dreams. I was
haunted by nightmares more vivid than
ny Late Show horr
drums throbbed as Epiphany Proudloot
cut the rooste throat, The
swayed and moaned, only this
bleeding didn't stop. A crimse
gushed from the thrashing bi
everything like a tropical rain, dancers
all drowning in a lake of blood. I
watched Epiphany go under and ran
from my hiding place, gore splashing at
my heels. I woke ups
A hot shower seuled my nerves. I was
shaved, dressed and driving uptown
side of 20 minutes. I dropped the Chevy
off at my garage and walked to the out-
oftown ne id next to Times Tower.
Dr. Albert Fowler's picture was on the
front page of Monday's Poughkeepsie
New Yorker. “NOTED DOCTOR FOUND DEAL
said the headline. I read all about it over
breakfast at the Whelan's drugstore in
the corner of the Paramount Building.
Up in the office, 1 considered my
options. 1 had planned on driving
Coney Island to try to locate Mad
Zora, Johnny Favorite's gypsy fortune-
teller, but decided to play a long shot
and go back up to Harlem first. There
was a lot Epiphany Proudfoot hadn't
told me last night.
I got my attaché case out of the office
safe and was buttoning my overcoat when
the phone rang. hi was long distance.
person-to-person collect from Cornelius
Simpson. I told the operator I would
accept the charges.
Га like to ask you some questi
about Johnny Favorite," I
"What
creaming.
ns
aw Johnny was the day
"s this all abou
ne 1
arl Harbor. Wh
ng a story for Look on for
gotten vocalists of the Forties. Johnny
Favorite is at the top of the list.
"Not my list, brother.
7" I said. “I£ I spoke to just
his fans, | wouldn't get a very intere
g
сап you tell me
with a West Indian woman named Evan-
geline Proudfoot?”
“Nor a damn thing. This is the first
I've heard of it.
“Did you know he was i
voodoo?”
“Sticking pins in dolls? Well, it figures:
Johnny was Чо. He was always into
Something s $
“Such as wh
“Oh, let's see; one time, I saw him
catching pigeons up on the roof of our
hotel. 1 thought maybe he didn't like the
chow in the place, but later, I dropped
by his room, and there he was, poking
through the guts with a pencil.”
“What was that all about?”
“That's what I asked him. He told me
some fancy word 1 can't remember, Said
he was predicting the future like the
priests in ancient Rome used to do."
"Sounds like that ol' black magic had
him in its spell," I said.
Spider Simpson laughed. "You said it,
brother. If it wasn't pigeon guts, it was
some other damn thi ves, palm.
readers, yoga. He carried a skull in his
suitcase."
“A human skull?”
“Once upon a time, it was human. He
said it came from the grave of a man
who murdered ten people. Claimed it
power
»unds like he was putting you on,”
I
‘ould be. He used to si
it for hows before a performa
was a put-on, it was а damn good on
“Did you know Margaret Krusemar
I asked.
I met her a few time
“Whitt was she 1
“Very pretty. Didn't talk much. You
know the type, lots of eye contact but no
сопу
1 heard somewhere she was а fortune:
teller
“That may be. She never told me
minc
“Why did they break up?"
“I wouldn't know."
“Can you give me the names of any of
Johnny Favorites old friends? People
lt be able to help me out with
the story."
“Brother, aside from bonehead in the
Johnny didn't have a friend on
a piano player
t that was years before 1
. thanks for the information," I
за big help."
“Any tini
We both hung up.
А
5 on the West Side
Highway up to nd drove east
along Harlem's ‚ past the Hotel
Theresa and the Apollo Theater, over to
1 dodged chuck
1 found a wall phone їп a luncheonette
in the next block. There was no listing
for Epiphany Proudfoot, 1 tried the
моге but got mo a Thumbing
through the directory, 1 located. Edison
Sweets number. I d 1 the first four
digits and hung up, deciding a surprise
uld be more effective, Ten min-
utes later, 1 w: l оп I5?nd Street
across Irom his building.
I climbed. the rs to the third floor
There was no one on the landing, and
when | bent to check the m of the
lock, 1 found that the door was not quite
shut. 1 pushed it all the way open with
my foot. A vivid red splash stained the
opposite wall Rorschach-test blot,
—
PEOPLE WHO ENJOY JACK DANIELS,
generally like Herb Fanning and his signs.
Herb runs a litcle store here in Lynchburg.
And it's full of old things reproduced from
Mr. Jack Daniel's day. For instance, there's
a bar sign that also tells che temperature;
a wall plaque designed around the
1904 World's Fair; and some [
old-time posters, mirrors and
serving trays. If you'd like CHARCOAL
А MELLOWED
to own any of these items, ü
just joc Herb a note at DROP
The Lynchburg Hardware 6
BY DROP
Store. He'll send you
full particulars.
Tennessee Whiskey • 90 Proof = Distilled and Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery
Lem Motlow, Prop.. inc., Lynchburg (Pop. 361). Tennessee 37352
Placed in the National Register of Historic Places by the United States Government.
249
PLAYBOY
my back against it until the lock caught.
The room mess, furniture
thrown about haphazardly on a carpet
A shelf of flower-
was а
па the
sagged like the stockings of a
on a week-long drunk. Amid the
the TV stood intact. The set
soap opera nurse discussed
idultery with an attentive intern.
1 careful not to touch
I stepped over the upended furniture.
Beyond the babbling TY, a short, dark
I led to a closed door. Т got my latex
surgeon's gloves out of the attaché case
па rolled them onto my hands before
g the knob. One look in the bed-
room made me want a drink badly.
Toots Sweet lay on his back on the
narrow bed, his hands and feet bound to
the posts with lengths of cotton clothes-
line. He would never get any
crumpled, blood-soaked flannel bathrobe
draped his potbelly. Beneath his black
body, the sheets were still with blood.
Тоок open, bulging eyes were yel-
lowed, like antique ivory спе balls, and
stuffed into his gaping mouth was some-
thing resembling a fat,
Bratwurst, Death by asphy
that without waiting for the autopsy.
1 took a closer look at what protruded
from his swollen lips and suddenly one
drink wasn't going to be enough. Toots
had choked to death on his own geni-
talia. Outside, in the courtyard thre
lights down, I heard the happy laughter
ol children,
On the wall above the bed, a number
of childlike drawings had be
in Toots's blood: si
zag lines representing snake
three of them, were five-pointed and up-
side down, Falling stars were getting to
be a habit.
I said goodbye to Edison Sweet and
closed the bedroom door on the sightless
stare of his bulging eyes. My tongue felt
heavy and dry їп my mouth when I
thought of what was stuffed in his. I
wanted to check out the livi room
before I left, but there was too much dirt
nt door, I squinted through
the peephole before letting myself out. I
lelt the door open a crack, just the way
Га found it, and. peeled off my rubber
gloves, shutting them inside the calfskin
case. I paused at the top of the landing
nd listened to the silence below. 1 made
it down the sta hout being seen.
Wh ilding, the only ones
round were a group of small children
playing hopscotch in the courtyard.
.
Three straight shots settled my nerves.
It was a quiet neighborhood nd I
sat with my back to the TV and thought
things over. Now I had two dead men on
250 my hands. They had both known Johnny
Favorite and worn five-pointed stars. The
stars maybe were a coincidence; it's a
common design. And maybe it was just
by chance that a junkie doctor and a
blues piano player both knew Johnny
Favorite. Maybe. But deep down
gut, I had a feeling that it was t
something bigger. Something enormous
1 scooped my change off the damp bartop
nd went back to work for Louis Cyphre.
The drive out to Coney Island w:
ction. L rolled dow
window on the Shore Parkway
breathed the cold sea air blowing
through the Narrows. By the time I
reached Cropsey Avenue, the smell of
blood was gone from my nostrils.
1 parked beside a boarded-up bumper-
cw ride. Coney Island in the off season.
had the look and feel of а ghost tow
"The skeletal tracks of the roller coasters
rose above me like metal-and-timher
derwebs, but the screams were mi
and the wind moaned through the struts,
lonesome as a train whistle.
amous was open for bu:
s always, and I stopped for a hot
dog and a cardboard cup of bee: der
the boldly lettered billboard facade. The
counterman looked like he'd been
around since the days of Luna Park. and
I asked if he'd ever heard of a fortune-
teller named Madam Zora.
Madam who:
Zora. She was a big attraction. here
back in the Forties,
“Was she a skinny broad? D; ?
“You A crooner named
Johnny Favorite used to come see her
alo
Ain't never been
“What do you remember about her?”
“Not a thing, bud.” He smiled, shov
ng me four missing teeth. “Know who
might be able to help ус
“No, who?
“Old Paul Boltz He used to be her
back then. He's still
Where can I find H
“Over at Steeplechase
dog there now.
Г said thanks
ping beer.
nd wa
.
Steeplechase Park spanned 95 acres.
The Parachute Jump, а hand-me-down
from the °39 World's Fair, towered above
the factory-sized, glass-walled pavilion
like the framework of a 200-foot um-
Drella. A sign out front said, т
PLACE, above the leering, painted
founder George С. Tilyou. Steeplechase
was as funny this time of year as а joke
without ch line, and T looked up
at the grinning Mr. Tilyou and won-
dered what there was to laugh about.
1 found a man-sized hole in the chain-
link fence and pounded on the salt-
encrusted glass near the locked front
entrance, The noise echoed through the
empty amusement park
tergeists on a ghostly spree.
с a dozen pol-
Turning a corner, I came face to face
with a Colt's Police Positive .38 Special.
the 38 without a tremor was an
riy in а brown-and-tan uniform. A
of pig-squint eyes sized me up above
shaped like a ball-peen hammer
“Freeze!” he said. His voice seemed to
come from under water, I froze,
"You must be Mr. Bolt,” I said. "Paul
Boltzz
“Never mind who I am. Who the fuck
you
My name is Angel. I'm a private de-
tective, | need to talk to you about a
case I'm working on."
Show me something to prove
When I started for my wallet, Boltz
jabbed his .38 emphatically at my belt
buckle. "Left hand,” he snarled.
I shifted the attaché case to my right
hand and got out my wallet with my left.
“Drop it and take two steps back.”
Boltz stooped and picked it up. His
Police Positive stayed trained on my
belly button. “This here honorary buzzer
don't mean shit to me," he said. Ot il
picce of tin at home just like it
“I didn't claim that was valid; just
look at the photostat.”
The pig-eyed watchman flipped
through the cardholders in my wallet
without comment. I thought of rushing
him then but let it rest. “OK, so you're a
private dick," he sid. “What do you
want with me?”
/ou Paul Bolt
What if I am?" He tossed my wallet
onto the deck at my feet.
I stooped and picked it up with my left
. "Look, ivs been a hard а, Put
the gun away. I need your help. Can't
you tell when a guy is asking for a
favo
He looked at the revolver for a mo-
ment, as if considering having it lor
supper. "Then he shrugged and slipped it
back into his holster, pointedly lc
the flap unbuttoned. “I'm Boltz,” he
mitted. "Let's hear your spiel."
“Is there someplace we can get out of
all this wind?"
Boltz mot
lowed a half pace behind and we went
down a short flight of steps to а door
xo ENTRY. "In here," he
"Ics open.
Our footsteps boomed like ca
shots in the empty building. ‘The place
was large enough to contain a couple of
plane hangars. We paused in front of
а row mirrors, the dis-
to
non
ob fun-house
your pitch.”
said, "I'm looking for a gypsy for
tuneteller named Madam Zora. 1 under-
stand you used to work for her back in
the Forties.”
Boltz's phlegm-thickened laughter rose
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“But there was all
that talk about tar.
“Unfortunately, most low
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Then | tried Vantage.
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That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
PLAYBOY
to the lightbulbstudded girders over-
head like the barking of a trained seal.
“Bub,” he chortled, “you ain't gonna get
to first base the way you're headed.
“Why not?”
“Why not? I'll tell you why not. First
off, she ain't no gypsy, that’s why not.”
“Tell me about it.”
“OK, dick, I'll give it to you straight.
She weren't no gypsy and her name
wasn't Zora. I happen to know she was
a Park Avenoo debutante.”
It took a while to get my tongue back
in gear. “Did you know her real name!
"Whadya take me for, a gazoonic? I
knew all about her. Her name was Mag-
gie Krusemark. Her father owned. more
boats than the British navy."
My elongated reflection stretched. like
Plastic Man across the wavy surface of
the trick mirror, “When did you see her
he rubber lips asked.
g of ‘Forty-two. One day, she
pulled a lade. Left me holding the crysta
П, you might
Did you ever se
her with a singer
Sure, lots of times, She was stuck on
Jid she ever say anything about him
you can remember?
Look. | never paid much attention.
To me, it was just a carny hustle. I
ke it serious.” Boltz cle.
It was different
“What about Favorite?’
He was a believer, too. You could see
it in his eyes."
Tave you ever seen him а
"Never. Maybe he flew off to the moon
on his broomstick.”
“Did she ever mention а Negro pi
player named Toots Sweet?”
Nope.
“Can you think of anything else?"
Boltz spit ow the floor between his feet.
“Why should I? Them days are dead
and buried.”
There wasn't much else to talk about.
Вой: walked me back outside and un-
locked the gate. I hesitated before giving
him one of my Crossroads cards and
asked him to call if anything came up.
He didn't say he would, but he didn't
tear up my card,
Toots Sweet n
Daily News. Tr
the uptown IRT, having left the Chevy
in a parking lot around the corner from
the Chelsea. My firs
I where, after several misdirec-
tions, | asked the right question and
came up with a current Paris telephone
directory. There was a listing for an M.
ing paper on
252 Krusemark on the Rue Nowe-Dames-des-
Champs. I wrote it down in my nore-
book.
It was nearly noon by the time І
unlocked the inner door to my office. I
sorted the mail, finding a $500 check
from the firm of McIntosh, Winesap and
Spy. All the rest was junk I filed in the
wastebasket before phoning my answer-
ing service. There were no messages.
although a woman who refused to lea
a name or number
that morning.
Next, I tried to reach Margaret Kruse-
mark in Paris, but the overseas operator
could get no answer after 20 minutes of
g I was struggling back
overcoat when the phone rang. I gr:
it on the third ring. It was Epiphany
Proudfoot. She sounded out of breath,
“T've got to see you right away,” she said.
“What abou
"I don't want to talk on the phone.”
I said c your time. I'm going out
for something to eat and will meet you
k in my office at опе! fifteen ug
ng up without g goodbye.
leaving, I locked Winesap's
check in the office safe. I was kneeling
there when I heard the doorstop's pneu-
matic wheeze in the outer room. When
someone barges in without knocking, it's
cither а cop or trouble. Sometimes both
in the same package.
This time it was a plainclothes dick
ng a wrinkled gray gabardine rain-
coat unbuttoned over a brown mohair
piperack special with culls sufficiently
shy of his perforated brogans to provide
a sneak preview of his white athletic
socks.
“You Angel?
“That's right.
т Detective Lieutenant Sterne, Th
is my pa
He nodded at the open partition door,
where a barrel-chested man dressed like a
longshoreman stood scowling,
"What can I do for you gentemen?"
I said.
“Answer a couple questions.” Sterne
was tall and lantern-jawed. with a nose
like the prow of an icebreaker. When he
spoke, his lips scarcely moved.
"Be glad to. I was just heading for a
bite to cat. Care to join me?
“We can talk better here,
His partner closed the door.
"Si me.” I walked around in back
of my des
“Where were you yesterday morning
around eleve:
t home. Asleep.”
great being self-employed.”
Sterne cracked out of the side of his
mouth to Deimos. The sergeant just
grunted, “Why is it you're snoozing when
the rest of the world is at work, Angel?”
ing late the night befor
“Where might that have been?”
“Up i lem. What's this all about,
Licutei
Sterne got something out of his
he barked.
terne said.
coat pocket and held it up for me to sec.
"Recognize this?
I nodded. "One of my business cards.”
“Maybe you'd like to explain how
come it was found in the apartment of a
murder victim.”
‘Toots Sweet?”
“Tell me about it.” Sterne sat on the
corner of my desk and tipped his gray
hat back on his forehead.
"OK. What I've got going is a m
persons’ operation, The in question
took a walk more than a dozen years ago.
One of my few leads was ап old photo of
the guy posing with Toots Sweet. 1 went
uptown last night to ask Toots if he
could help me out, He played cagey at
first when I talked to п at the Red
Rooster, so I tailed him down to the park
ter Closing time. He went to some kind
of voodoo ceremony over by the Meer
They shuffled around and killed a chick-
en. I felt like a tourist
“Who all is 'they'?" asked Sterne.
"About fifteen men and women, col-
ored. I'd never seen any of them before
except Toots.”
What did you do?”
Nothing. Toots left the park alone. T
tailed him home and got him to talk
straight. He said he hadn't seen the guy
I was looking for since the picture was
taken, I gave him my card. and said to
call me if he thought of anything.”
Sterne looked his thick fingernails
with disinterest. “What did you use to
get him to tal
“Psychology,
Sterne raised yebrows and re-
garded me with the same disinterest he
lavished on his fingernails. "So who is
the famous party in question? The one
who walked?”
“I can't give out that information with-
out the consent of my client
“Bullshit, Angel. You won't do your
client any good downtown, and that's
just where ГЇЇ take you if you dam up
on me.
"Why be disagreeable, Lieutenant? I'm
working for a lawyer named Winesap.
That entitles me to the same right to
privacy а . If you pulled me in, Га
be out within the hour. Save the city
сае,
“What’s this lawyer's number?”
I wrote it out on the desk pad along
h his full name, tore the shect loose
nd handed it to Sterne. “E told you all
I know. From what I read in the paper,
it sounds like some of Toots's chicken-
snuffng fellow parishioners put him
way. I you make a pinch, ГЇЇ be happy
to look him over in the line-up.
“That's white of you, Angel;
sneered,
“Any further questions, Lieutenant?”
I asked.
Sterne turned. his dead cop's gaze on
me again. You could tell from his eyes
that he never smiled. Not even during a
third-degree session. He was just doing
I
Sterne
PLAYBOY
254
his job. “None. You and your ‘right to
privacy’ сап go eat lunch now.”
We all wedged into the tiny elevator
together and rode down without saying
a word.
.
Gough's Chop House was across 43rd
Street from the Times Building. The
place was packed, but I squeezed into a
corner by the bar and ordered roast beef
on rye. Walt Rigler spotted me on his
у out. “What's up, Harry?" he shouted
the din of newspaper shoptalk.
liule. Thanks for letti
те, I owe you one.”
orget it. How goes your
tery? Digging up any good dirt?”
More than 1 сап handle. Thought I
had a strong lead yesterday, Went to see
Krusemark’s fortunerelling daughter, but
I picked the wrong one.”
What do you mean, the wrong оп
“They're wins; Maggie and Millie, the
supernatural Krusemark girls.”
Walt rubbed the back of his neck and.
frowned. “Someone's pulling your leg,
pal Margaret Krusemark’s an only
child.
“You sure of that;
“Course I'm sure. I just checked it out
for you yesterday. Krusemark had a
daughter by his wife. Just one, Harry.
The Times doesn’t make mistakes in the
ital-statistics deparunent.
“I should have known she was pl
me for a sucker, It was too ра
low down, pal, you're way ahead of
g me
le mys-
me.
“Sorry, Walt. Just thinking out loud.
My watch says five after one; is that
ht
‘Close enough."
I stood up, leaving my change on the
"Got to run."
‘Don't let me stop you.
grinned his lopsided gri
e.
Epiphany Proudfoot was waiting in
the outer room of my office when I got
there minutes later. She was wearing a
nd a blue cashmere
Walt F
orry I'm late,”
"Don't be. I was € rly.” She tossed
aside а well-thumbed back issue of Sports
Illustrated and uncrossed her legs. On
her, even the secondhand Naugahyde
chair looked good.
I unlocked the door in the pebbled-
glass partition апа held it open. “Why
did you want to see me?
She stood by the w with the
eight-inch gold letters, staring down at
the street. “Who's paying you to look for
Johnny Favorite
“T can't tell you that. One of the things
my services include is discretion, Won't
you sit down
I took her coat and hung it next to
mine as she settled gracefully into the
padded-leather chair acros from my
desk. It was the only comfortable seat in
the place, “You still haven't answered my
question,” I said, leaning back in my
swivel chair, "Why are you here?"
“Edison Sweet has been murdered.”
“Uh-huh. 1 read the papers. But you
shouldn't be too surprised: You set him
up."
dow
COCHRAN!
“How do you expect me to be popular
with girls when all the other guys can afford pastel
condoms and I have to use plastic wrap?”
She denched he ndbag on her lap.
‘ou must be out of your mind.’
“Maybe. But I'm not dumb. You were
the only one who knew I was talking to
Toots. You had to be the one who tipped
off the boys that sent him the chicken
foot.”
You've got it all wrong.”
"Have 1?”
“There was no one else. After you left
the store, I called my nephew. He lives
around the corner from the Red Rooster.
He hid the claw in the piano. Toots
a blabbermouth. He needed remindi
to keep his trap shut.”
"You did а good job. It’s shut for
keeps now."
“Do you think I'd be coming to see
you if 1 had anything to do with th
"rd you were a capable girl,
Epiphany. Your performance in the park
was quite convincing."
“You have no right to spy on me,"
said, not meeting my gaze.
“The Parks Department and the Hu-
mane Society would disagree. Quite a
gruesome litle religion.”
Epiphany's glance w
she
is black with fu
“There never was an Obeah Holy War,
or an Obeah Inq)
“Yeah,
ion
re; youve got to ki
e the soup, right?" 1 1
nd blew a. plume of smoke
ag. "But it's not dead chickens
y me; it’s d
“Don't you think I'm
Epiphany was a tall drink of wate
they say uptown, à nd it was easy to
amine quenching my thirst on her
why flesh. "You come around looking
for Johnny Favorite and the next d
man gets killed, "That's not just a co
dence."
“What is it, then;
“Toots Sweet's death didn't ha
thing to do with obeah."
“How do you know that?
"Did you see the pictures in the
papers?”
I nodded.
“Then you know they're call
bloody scribblings on the w:
symbols."
Another silent nod.
“Well, the cops don't know any more
about voodoo than they do about pe
and rice! Those marks were supposed to
look like vcvé, but it just isn't so.”
“What's vevé?
“Magic signs. All that bloody trash's
got as much to do with the real thing as
Santa Claus has to do with Jesus.”
I stubbed out my butt in a Stork Club
ashtray left over from a long-dead love
affair. "You say the marks are phony?”
"Not phony so much as, well, wrong.
Like someone describing а baseball р
and cali ¢ run a touchdown."
1 folded the copy of the News to page
three and pointed to the smakclike zig-
zags, spirals and broken crosses in the
in
e any-
g those
1 voodoo
ле
g а ho
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PLAYBOY
256
"So! You weren't just laying pipe in Alaska!”
photo. “Are you saying these look like
voodoo drawings but they're used in-
correctly?”
“That's right. See that serpent swallow-
ing its own tail? That's Damballa, sure
But no initiate would ever
ht next to Babako like that.”
"So whoever drew those pictures at
least knew enough about voodoo to know
what Damballa or Babako looked like
in the first place.”
“That's what I've been trying to tell
you all along.” she said. “Did you know
that Johnny Favorite was once upon a
time mixed up with obeah?”
“I know he was a hunsi-bosal.”
“Toots really did have a big mouth.
What else do vou know
"Only that Johnny Favorite was run-
ning around with your mother at the
ipiphany made a face like tasting
something sour. “It’s true.” She shook her
head as if to deny it. "Johnny Favorite
was my father.”
I sat very still,
chair as her revel:
ipping the arms of my
ion washed over me
Who all knows about
No one, 'cept you and me and Mom-
ma, and she's dead.”
"What about Johnny Favorit
"Momma never told him, He was aw
in the Army long before I was а усаг
old."
pe
now
"I'm scared. There's something about
Toots’s death that has to do with me. I
can feel it deep down in my bone
“And you think Johnny F.
mixed up in it somehow?"
“I don't know what to think. You're
supposed to do the thinking.”
“IE you're holding out on me, now
would be the time to tell.”
Epiphany stared at her folded hands.
i nothing more to tell” She
stood up then, very brisk and efficient. “1
must be going, I'm sure you have work
to do.”
w come you're opening up to me
vorite is
"I'm doing it right now," I said, get-
ting to my fect.
She collected her coat from the rack.
t that stuff earlier, you
^] trust you m
know, about discretion,
“Everything you told me is strictly
confiden!
"I hope so." She smiled then. It was a
and not designed to pet
results. "Somehow, against all my better
judgment, I trust you.
I stood at the corner of my desk, not
moving until I heard the door to the
outer room close behind her. In three
steps, I grabbed my attaché case, wrestled
my coat off the rack and locked the office.
I waited with my ear to the outer door,
listening for the self-service elevator
opening and closing before I left. The
hallway was empty. I sprinted for the fire
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stairs and took the steps three at a
time on my way down.
б
I beat the elevator by 15 seconds and
waited inside the stair well. Epiphany
walked past me out onto the street. 1
was right behind, following her around.
the corner and down into the subw
She caught the uptown IRT local. 1
got on the next car in line. Two stops
later, she got off at Columbus Circle.
She walked cast along Central Park
South and turned downtown at Seventh
venue. I watched her studying the en-
nce numbers as she hurried by the
Athletic Club and the sculpture-
encrusted Alwyn Court Apartments. She
slowed her pace along the side of Car-
negie Hall. I saw her pause at the far
end of the block and go inside the build-
ing. I already knew the address: 881
Seventh. It was where Margaret. Kruse-
mark lived.
1 walked along the deserted hallway to
the door wearing the brand of Scorpio.
I unsnapped my attaché case оп the
threadbare carpet. А bunch of dummy
forms and papers in the accordion file
on top made it look official, but under-
neath a false bottom, I kept the tools of
the trade. A layer of polyurethane foam
held a set of case-hardened bur
tools, a contact mike and m
tape recorder, ten-power I
lars, a Minox camera with а stand for
photographing documents, a collection
keys that cost me S500,
nickelsteel handcuffs and а loaded .38
Special Smith & Wesson Centennial with
an Airweight alloy frame.
I got out the contact mike and plugged
in the carphone. It was а nice piece of
equipment. When I held the mike to the
surface of the door, I h d everything
that went on inside the apartment. 1
heard Margaret Krusemark say, "We
re not the best of friends, but 1 had a
5
great respect for your mother.” Epiph-
anys mumbled reply was inaudible.
‘The astrologer went on, y quite a
of her before you were born.
woman of power. Our relation-
ship was a peculiar one, I don't deny it.
I should hope that you are sulhiciently
sophisticated not to be swayed by bour-
geois convention, Your mother certainly
never ss =
"What could be more bourgeois than а
ménage à trois?”
t was not a ménage à trois! What do
you think we volved in, some
hideous little sex clu
"I'm sure 1 have not the faintest idea
what you were involved in. Momma
never mentioned you to me at all.”
"Why should she? As far as she was
concerned, Jonathan was dead and. bur-
icd. He was all that linked us.”
"But he's not dead.”
“Has someone been around asking
questions about Jonath
(continued on page 263)
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261
PLAYBOY
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FALLING ANGEL
(continued from page 258)
“I tucked the folded 50 into his shirt pocket. ‘You
and Ulysses Simpson Grant go have a party.
22
Bio M
"What did he look like?"
Just a man, Ordinary."
Was he on the heavy side? Slovenly?
By that 1 mean а sloppy dresser, wi
kled blue suit and shoes that need
shine: closely cropped hair starting to go
gray?
Epiphany said, "Kind blue eyes. You
notice them first.
"Did he say his name was Angel?"
Margaret Krusemark’s voice betrayed а
strident urgency
“Yes. Harry Angel.”
"What did he w
He's looking for Johnny
“Why
“He didn't tell me why.
detecti
“A policeman?”
(o, а private detective. What is this
гое."
Неѕ а
re was a faint clinking of china
and then Margaret Krusemark said, “I'm
actly sure. He was here, pretending
to be a client. 1 know this is going to
seem very rude, but | must ask you to
leave now. 1 have to go out myself. Из
urgent, Em afraid.
you think were
^s voice broke on
danger?"
that final
word.
“I don't know what to think. If Jona-
than's back,
ere was a man killed
yesterday," Epiphany blurted.
of mine. He knew Momma
too. Mr. Angel had been a
questions.
A chair scraped against the parquet
floor. “Гус got to go Margaret
k said. "Come, ГЇЇ get your
"ll ride down together.”
There was the sound of approaching
footsteps. 1 pulled the contact mike from
the door and sprinted the length of the
hallway like a wide receiver in the
g on to the banister for bal-
k the fire stairs four and five
steps at a time.
I ran down all the way to the empty
lobby. Gasping, I paused to check the in-
dicators over the elevators. The one on
the left was going up, its partner coming
down. Either way, they would be there
in а moment.
I ran across Seventh Avenue without
paying heed to the пас, On the other
side, I loitered near the entrance to the
Osborn Apartments, wheezing like an
emphysema victim.
id Johnny,
now
E
piphany and the Krusemark woman
me out of the building together and
walked half a block uptown to 57th
Street. 1 strolled along the other side of
the avenue, keeping abreast of them.
When the light changed, Epiphany
started across in my direction. М et
Krusemark waved frantically at. passing
taxis. A new Checker cab approached
with its roof light on and 1 flagged it
down, climbing inside before Epiphany
had me spotted.
"Where to, mister?" a roundi
driver asked as he dropped the flag.
"Like to make a deuce above what it
says on the meter
“Whatcha got
“Tail job. Pull over for a minute in
front of the Russian Tea Room." He did
as I asked and turned around in his seat
to check me out. I gave him a glimpse of
the honorary bution pinned to my wallet
and said, “See the dame in the tweed
coat get into the hack in [ront of
Carnegie Hall? Don’t lose her.”
A piece of cake.
The other cab made an abrupt U turn
on 57th. We stayed half a block behind
as they turned downtown on Seventh
and tailed them across town to the
Chrysler Building. 1 paid my driver and
started across Lexington Avenue. Mar-
garet Krusemark was nowhere in sight.
Tt didn't matter. I knew where she was
headed. Passing through the revolving
doors, 1 checked the directory in the
angular marble-and-chromium lobby.
Krusemark Maritime, Inc., was on the
45th floor.
I stepped off the elevator and spotted
a window washer on his way to work. He
was bald and middle-aged, with the re
tread nose of a retired boxer. He ambled
down the gleaming corridor whistling
last summer's big hit, Volare, a half tone
flat. He wore dirty green coveralls and
his safety harness dangled like a pair of
stened suspenders.
Sot a minute, budd: I called, and
he paused mid-note and regarded me
with lips still pursed, as if waiting for
kiss. "Bet you can't tell me whose picture
is on a fifty-dollar bill."
‘OK, wise guy; it's Thomas Jefferson."
/ou're wi А
‘So? Big deal. What's this all about?”
I got out my wallet and removed the
folded half-century note I carry lor emer-
gencies and occasional bribes and held
it up so he could see the denomination.
“I thought maybe you'd like to find out
who the lucky President was.”
The window washer cleared his throat
and blinked. "Are you off your rocker or
something?”
ced
“Rent me your outfit for an hour and
take a walk. Go downstairs and buy your-
sell a beer.”
He rubbed the top of his head, al-
though it needed no further. polishing.
"You are some kinda nut, ain'tchaz"
There was a hint of real admiration in
his voice.
What difference does it make? АШ Т
want is to rent your rig, no questions
asked. You make half a yard for sitting
on your duff for an hour. How сап you
beat that?”
ОК. You got a deal, buddy. Long as
you're giving it away, I'm a guy who'll
take
The window washer jerked his head
for me to follow and led me back down
the corri to the custodial closet.
“Leave all п you're
done with it,” he said, unstrapping his
safety harness and. peeling off the dirty
coveralls.
I hung my overcoat and suit jacket on
top of à mop handle and pulled on the
coveralls. They were stiff and smelled
faintly of ammonia, like pajamas after
an org
I had the window washer show me
how to use the safety harness. It seemed
quite simple. "You aint planning on
going outside, аге you?" he asked,
“You kidding? I just want to play a
gag on a ladylriend. She's a receptionist
on this floor.
e with me," the window washer
said. "Just leave the stuff in the closet."
I tucked the folded 50 into his shirt
pocket. "You and Ulysses Simpson Grant
go He sauntered off
whistling,
I removed my .38 before stashing the
attaché case under the concrete sink. I
slipped the litle fiveshot into my cover-
alls and transferred the contact mike to
the other pocket. Bucket and brush in
hand, 1 strolled down the corridor to-
ard the impressive bronze-and-glass en-
ance of Krusemark Ma: ne, Inc.
.
The receptionist looked right through
me as I crossed the carpeted lobby be-
n glass-cased tanker models and
pership prins. Beyond was a long
with offices opening off either
side. 1 ambled along, swinging my buck-
et. At the end of the hall was a large
ere а pert blonde sliced enve-
lopes behind ап L-shaped desk. Off to
one side was a polished-mahogany door.
At eye level, raised bronze letters said,
ETHAN KRUSEMARK.
The blonde nced up and smiled,
the stack of mail beside her a foot high.
My hopes of being alone with the con-
tact mike went right out the window, an
image I would soon regret.
The blonde ignored me, busy with her
simple task. Clipping the bucket to my
belt harness, I pulled open a window
263
PLAYBOY
and closed my eyes. My teeth were chat-
tering, but it wasn't from the rush of
cold air.
1 sat backward on the sill and hooked
one strap of the safety harness to the out-
side casing. There was only the thickness
of glass separating me from the blonde
inside, but she might as well have been a
million miles away. I switehed hands and
clipped in the other strap.
re was barely room for my toes on
the narrow ledge. 1 pushed down the
window and the comforting sound of
the teletypes inside was lost in the gusty
wind. I told myself not to look down.
That was the first place I looked.
The shadowed canyon of 42nd Street
yawned beneath me, pedestrians and
traffic reduced to ant specks and craw
metallic beetles. I felt like а moun
climber on an incredible first ascent.
Several floors above, radiatorcap gar-
goyles jutted from the corners of the sky-
scraper and, beyond them, the building's
stainless-steel spire tapered into the sun-
light, shining like the ice-clad summit of
an unconquered peak.
It was time to make шу move. T un-
clipped the right-hand harness strap,
attaching it to the same fastening that
held the other. Then I unclipped the in-
ner strap and reached across to the casing
on the next window over and clipped
into the fastener there.
Secured to both windows, I stepped
across with my left foot. I looked into
the office of Ethan Krusemark as T
tened the left-hand safety strap to the
opposite casing of his window, His desk
was a vast, oval slab of Pentelic marble,
bare except for an executive six-buiton
telephone and а patined bronze statuette
of Neptune waving his trident above the
waves.
Krusemark and his daughter sat on a
Jong beige couch set against the far wall.
He looked like his portrait: а ruddy-
faced, aging pirate crowned with a mass
of well-combed silver hair. To my way of
thinking. the resemblance was more
Daddy Warbucks than Clark Gable. Mar-
garet Krusemark still wore the upside-
down gold pentacle. Occasionally, one of
them looked straight at me. I brushed
soapy water onto the glass in front of
my face,
1 got the contact mike out of my cover-
alls and plugged in the earphone. Wrap-
ping the instrument in a 1
pressed. it to the glass and pretended to
wipe the window. Their voices sounded
so clear and sharp, I could. easily have
heen sitting next to them on the couch.
Krusemark was speaking: "You're sure
he's a detective
angeline Proudfoot's daughter said
he was. He knows enough to have gotten
to her.”
“What about the doctor in Pou
keepsie?
le's dead.
ide. I
Tt happened earlier this week.”
Then we'll never know if the detec-
tive spoke with him or not.”
‘I don't like it, Father. Not after all
these years. Angel knows too much al-
ready. Why not get rid of him?”
This town is crawling with two-bit
private It’s not Angel we need to
worry about but the man who hired hin
ret Krusemark gripped her fa-
er's hand in both of hers. "Angel will
be back, For the horoscope.
Good. Play him along. You're a clever
girl. Slip a drop of something in his tea
We must know the name of his client.
We can't let Angel die until we find out
who he's working for.” Krusemark stood
up. "I have several important mectings
coming up this afternoon, Meg. Call me
as soon as you hear from the detective. I
picked up the art of persuasion in the
Orient. We'll sec if I've lost my touch."
“Thank you, Father."
"Come, ГЇЇ walk vou out. What are
your plans for the rest of the day?
"I thought I might go over to Saks and
do some shopping. After that——" The
rest of it was lost as the heavy mahogany
door closed behind them.
I stuffed the rag-wrapped contact mike
into my coveralls and opened the win-
dow. 1 unclipped the safety harness and
swung my trembling legs inside the rela-
tive safety of Krusemark's office. The risk
had paid olf; playing window washer was
a picnic compared with finding out
about Krusemark's Oriental artistry first-
hand
I shut the window and glanced around,
As much as I wanted to do some snoop-
n't time.
ing, I knew there wa
On my way out, I blew a loud kiss at
the receptionist. The face she made sug-
gested a mouthful of caterpillar guts, but
two salesmen cooling their heels in
matching Barcelona chairs thought it
was real cute.
I did a quickchange number in the
broom closet and left the coveralls and
safety harness crammed into the dented
bucket. There was no si
Krusem:
k out on the street. She had
to Saks and I figured
ht а cab. Deciding to give her
пре her mind, | cut across
time to ch
Lexington to Grand Central
I detoured down the ramp to the
Oyster Bar and ordered a dozen blue
points on the half shell. Twenty minutes
later, I pushed my plate back and headed
for a phone. | dialed Margaret
Krusemark’s number and let it ring ten
times before hanging up. She was safe
at Saks.
The shuttle vain hauled my mollusk-
stuffed carcass over to Times Square,
where I caught an uptown BMT local to
57th Street. I called Margaret Kruse-
mark's apartment from the phone booth
on the corner and again got no answer.
The lobby was empty. I went straight to
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the fire stairs. There was no percer
in being recognized by elevator operators.
When 1 got to Margaret. Krusemark's
door, I was breathing hard and my heart
hammered like a metronome in presto.
The hallway was deserted. 1 opened my
attaché case and pulled on the rubber
surgeon's gloves. The lock was a standard
make and the third skeleton key T tried
did the trick. I stepped inside and closed
1 me. The smell of ether
It hung in the air,
volatile and c. bringing back
memories of the ward. I got my .38 out
of my overcoat and edged along the wall
of the shadowed foye
Margaret Krusemark hadn't gone shop-
ping, after all. She was lying on her back
in the sunlit living room, spread out
across the low collee table under all those
potted palms. The couch was pushed
over against the wall, so that she was all
alone in the center of the rug like a
figure on an altar.
Her peasant blouse was torn open and
her tiny breasts were pale and not at all
unpleasant to look at except for the
ragged incision that split her chest from
a point below the diaphragm to midway
up her sternum. The wound brimmed
with blood and red тіше ran down
across her ribs and puddled on the
tabletop
1 put my gun away and touched my
finger tips to the side of her throat
"Through the thin latex, I could feel she
was still warm. Her features were com-
the door bel
was overpowerin
тот
posed, almost as if she were only sleep-
ing, and something very much like a
smile lingered on her lips.
I found the murder weapon under the
coffee table. An Aztec sacrificial knife
from Margaret Krusemark's own collec-
tion, the bright obsidian blade dulled
with drying blood. 1 didn't touch it.
There was no sign of any struggle. A
wrinkled prayer rug near the entrance
showed where she'd been dragged. into
the living room. Carefully, almost loving-
ly, the killer had lifted her onto the table
and moved the furniture back so there'd
be lots of space to work in.
Over by the tall window, between a
philodendron and a delphinium, 1 made
one small discovery. Resting in the basin
of a tall bronze Hellenic tripod was a
glistening lump of blood-soaked muscle
about the size of a misshapen tennis ball
It looked like something the dog might
have dragged in and I stared at it a long
time before I knew what it was. Valen-
tine’s Day would no longer seem th
same. Ir was Margaret Krusemark's heart.
After a bit of poking around, I found
an ethersaturated rag in a woven wicker
wastebasket in the foyer. 1 left it there
for the homicide boys to play with. Let
them take it downtown with the dead
meat and run it through the lab. Ther
be reports to file in triplicate. Tha
their job, not mine.
In the bedroom, the bed was unmade,
“Welcome, ma chérie, to a particularly disgraceful
episode in French history.”
PLAYBOY
268
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rumpled sheets stained with sex. The
witch was not without her warlocks. In a
small adjoining bathroom, I found the
plastic case to her diaphragm. It was
empty. If she got laid this morning, she
must still be wearing it. The boys from
downtown would find that, too.
Margaret Krusemark's medicine. cabi-
net overflowed. Aspirin. tooth powder.
milk of magnesia and small vials of pre-
scription drugs competed for space with
jars of foul-smelling powders marked by
obscure alchemical symbols.
inned up at me from
the top of a Kleenex box. There was a
and pestle on the counter next to
Tampax. A double-cdged dagger, a
copy of Vogue, a hairbrush and four fat,
black candles crowded the lid of the
toilet tank.
There was a small alcove off the bed
room where she did her work. A filing
cabinet crammed with customers’ horo-
scopes meant nothing to me. I looked
under the Fs for Favorite and the Ls
bling without success. There was
1 row of reference texts and a
globe. The books were propped
led alabaster casket about the size
ved on the lid was a
As I searched among the disordered
papers on the desktop, a small printed
card edged in black caught my atten-
tion, The symbol of an inverted five-
pointed star inscribed within a circle was
printed at the top. Below the talisman,
it said sissa NIGER in ornate caps. The
text was also in Latin. At the bottom
were the numerals ш. xxi. мсмых. It
was a date. Palm Sunday, [our days aw
I slipped the card inside my attaché ca:
Most of the other papers on the desk
were horoscopes in progress. I glanced at
them without interest and found onc
with my name written on the top.
Wouldn't Lieutenant Sterne like to get
his hands on that? I should have set fire
to it, or flushed it down the toilet, but,
instead, like a dummy, I tucked it into
my attaché са
Finding the horoscope made me think
to check Margaret. Krusemark's desk cal-
endar. There I was on Monday, the 16th
“Н. Angel, 1:30 rx.” I ripped the page
free and put it with the other stuff in my
case. Today's page on the desk calendar
showed an appointment for 5:30. My
watch was a [ew minutes fast, but 20
after was close enough.
On the way out, I left the apartment
door slightly ajar
find the body and call the police. I
wanted no part of this mess. Fat chance!
1 was in it up to my neck. -
Someone else could
The concluding installment of this
excerpt from William Hyortsberg's forth-
coming novel “Falling Angel” will ap-
pear in our November issue.
WHY OUR OIL
SHOULD BE STANDARD
EQUIPMENT
ON ALL SMALLER CARS.
Smaller cars demand |
even more of a motor oil
Castrol the strength it
than big cars do. Their 4 н —
needs to keep cleaning and
lubricating the narrow
and 6 cylinder engines run | QUAKER STATE
passages in smaller
at considerably higher
revs throughout their Eon
engines. (And if Castrol
can do all this for smaller
entire performance range.
engines, imagine what it
So there’s more heat and =
friction in the engine.
N
can do for bigger, less
demanding ones.)
All this can cause
N
To prove how good our
extra wear, tear, and ‘shear’
(thinning out of the oil)—
what engineers refer to as
“viscosity breakdown? As
the viscosity of the oil breaks down it
loses more and more of its ability to pro-
tect a smaller car's engine from its own
self-destructive tendencies.
That’s why Castrol is so essential for
smaller cars.
Unlike ordinary oils Castrol doesn't
break down. After an incredible expendi-
ture of time and money Castrol engineers
developed a unique motor oil formulation
using a special vis- a
cosity modifier that 18
prevents Castrol from — /
thinning out under
intense heats and
pressures.
Then they added
additives and detergents
that keep sludge from
forming as the oil cools
down. Additives that give
To prove that Castrol is better suited
for smaller, hotter, higher-revving engines
we tested Castrol against Quaker State
and Pennzoil. As the graph above plainly
shows, only Castrol didn't break down.
oil really is, we tested
Castrol against the two
leading brands: Quaker
State and Pennzoil.
The test was conducted in a labora-
tory by anindependent testing firm. Each
one of the oils was an SAE 10W-40.
After the equivalent of roughly 2,000 miles
they found that while Quaker State and
Pennzoil had both shown significant
breakdown, Castrol hadn’t broken down
at all.
So while there are lots of oils to
choose from, only one should be standard
equipment on smaller
(к=з Жы cars. Castrol —the oil
that doesn’t break down.
After all, if your
motor oil breaks down,
who knows what could
L/S [44 break down next?
= Castrol
THE OIL ENGINEERED FOR
SMALLER CARS.
PLAYBOY
270
BIG WH EELS (continued from page 184)
“As good as your La France looks going formal at
night, it performs chores during the day.”
chrome glisteni
bencath those gold
decals and the red paintz With those bla
ing looks and elegant features, your La
France will be just as comfortable going
formal. When you have this beauty in
your stable, it will be on the go often,
formal and informal, for you'll have to
be prepared to be the chauffeur for large
theater parties and other get-togethers.
But chauffeuring will be a pleasure as you
move that 25,000-pound, almost-30-[oot-
long truck through town: Гог, despite its
‚ it has a turning radius of a mere 25
feet, with the 265-hp diesel meeting all
your power demands, driving or pump.
ng (as it must, lo be approved by the
u Underwriters’ Laboratories. How
many people can claim to have а vehicle
that is ULL. approved?). Yes, you and
your friends will be quite the envious
sight as you drive through town—gowns
and tails blowing in the breeze—and
head for the opening of the opera season,
pod as your La France looks going
at night, it performs chores dur-
lay, such as filling the pool in a
hurry or helping vou wash itself, as well
as the rest of your stable or even your
house. It will feel right at home, too,
when you perform certain civic duties,
such as feiching errant kites and kittens
from trees. But such tasks cleave easily
10 the successful, respected man.
A solid and concerned citizen of the
community should abo lave a vehicle
o
that caters to (hat aspect of him and, at
the same time. is useful around the
grounds. When the frost thaws and the
scars of the long winter are visible, you
may feel the need for a little landscaping
or home improvement. What could be
benter for you than an Autocar dump
truck or а Crane Carrier Company ce
ment mixer or, if you're not too strapped
for money, both? (It would be well wort
the litte more than 5100.000 to get the
two.) The regal Autocar, with its classic
hood and angular three-piece fenders,
would elegantly grace anyone's garage.
In addition to being useful for poring
new collection of bonsai trees and top-
soil for the front yard, or perhaps fresh
clay for the tennis courts, that massive
Au
quit work-horse Cummins engine, has
multiple uses for the sharp-think
man. И can certainly be handy for c
way the trash after a party or even for
taking home а [ew guests who have spent
a little too much time at your La France
pumper. And with its towering g
clearance and low gearing, you'll have
no trouble driving everybody downtown
after a кочоо snowfall.
The С.С.С. cement mixer, distinctive
with its utili
also never runs out of worth. What with
pouring concrete for the new pool or
redoing the driveway or patio, it won't
even be breathing hard. And think of
sear dump truck, with its justwon't
“Frankly, 1 didn't know whata real orgasm was until
1 discovered tusks!”
how easily it can mix up a batch of
cocktails, cither to serve on the spot or
be pumped from the La France: or you
can save time and mix them on your
way to a BYOB party. For a quiet,
relaxing night at home, what better way
to be lulled to sleep than by its soothing,
rhythmic rumble?
To round out your stable of highly
personal vehides, you will need a small
knockabout everyday vehicle for run
downtown or stopping at your tobacco-
і After all, when the weather be
tween you and the shopping center gets
a little sloppy and the craving for an
enchilada comes upon you, there's no
sense getting muck all over the alumi-
num wheels of your cabover and it's
foolish to haul the dump truck across
town for a boule of cognac. A knock
about is therefore a necessity. Especially
one that can carry not only you and your
purchases but also а friend or two and
theirs. And what more perfect balance
between practicality and luxury could
one hope for than a Cadillac station
wagon
Few people realize that America's most
noted auto ma ‚їп addition to its
waditional line of personal cars, a station
wagon tl
of its brothers
sumptuously lus
ily carry
tremendous,
2o that
yet has a
rious carge
can another passenger. You
should definitely order from a local sup-
plier а special rear passenge пе
(they come in an infinite selection of
styles and colors, ranging from Spa
pine to brass-handled, satin-cusl
double«doored solid-mahog
neatly fit into the re
Despite being a knockabout and light-
cargo-carrying vehicle, this wagon, which
comes in basic black, features all the
appointments (including rear-window
curtains) and technologically advanced
features that have made the Cadillac
name synonymous with fine motoring.
Foremost of these is the extremely quiet,
most tomblike silence of the ride that
can best be filled with your tavorite
organ recitals or Gregorian chants played
on Cadillac's superior tape deck.
This is the vehicle for th restful,
solitary afternoon drives in the rain. And.
when you decide you no longer want to
be alone, all you need do is turn on your
headlights, Suddenly, you will have a
following.
The Cadillac station wagon has the
kind of strength and durability to last
you a lifetime and a week. After all,
must remember, а hearse—as the bro-
chures insist on calling it—is everyone's
most favored last vehicle.
п this collection of diversified yet
highly striking and practical vehicles,
cach one bearing the stamp of a welho-
do, successful man, you should be fully
equipped to handle all situations—
motively, at least,
conta.
ned,
ny models) to
r of your Cadillac.
ito
PLAYBOY
272
GIRLS OF THE PAC IO
(continued from page 163)
“The Mall in the center of the Arizona campus draws
scantily clad undergrads all year long.”
bozo—we decided to divide this pictorial
into two installments, because there were
just too many lovely s to feature
adequately in one issuc—920 is about all
anybody cin be expected to handle in
опе sitting.
Anyhow, in case all this motivates you
to abandon colder climes, pack a bag,
rent a Conestoga and head for the Santa
Fe Trail or the Oregon Trail to further
your education, so to speak, here's the
poop on the five colleges:
+ The University of Southern Cali-
fornia (Los Ап the first few
weeks at USC, cach entering freshman is
lly asked whether he/she has bought
"Daily, huh?" the frosh
inevitably asks, assaying the reasons for
needing protection that often. Turns out
Daily Trojan is the name of the campus
aper. Great little joke, huh? As a
of fact, members of USC's athletic
1cams are called Trojans, too, but that's
a horse of another color. What сап you
expect from a school that schedules vir-
tually no class y? As a result of
this three-day-weekend situation, Thurs-
day night is bust-out eve for USC under-
grads, If they aren't joining their UCLA
brethren in Westwood, you'll probably
find them closer to home, usually at The
901 Club (ко pinball шас nd lots
of suds). The welltrodden Thursday-
night path will lead you to Tommy's on
Beverly Boulevard for a Tommyburger—
th chili (it beats swallowing gold-
and sun, the USC crowd
genera all heads for the beach at Santa
Monica. While the student population is
roughly three men to every woman, don't
despair—that figure includes the largely
male medical-school enrollment, which
isn't even on the same campus. Students
“We'll cash in on the current sci-fi craze! Yow ll
get gang-banged by a bunch of Martians!”
live in university residence halls, in pri-
vate apartments or in university-owned
aparuments in the Student Community.
+ Stanfc ity (Palo Alto, Cali-
fori
beautiful campuses in the country.
on-campus woods and greens
surpassed only by its bikin
who gather around Lake
tanford has onc of the most
Its
ned the bur last
spring the water returned in time for the
1 Aqua Follies Festival, а water-
za that tunel out to
majoring in a у
bar is The (known as The O), in
nearby Menlo Park. Another
beer bar is The Dutch Goos
student atmo, try The Bri
Club—for future bank presidents only.
For those with a taste for the rustic and
a sense of history, The Alpine Beer Gar-
den is onc of the oldest hangouts, It used.
to be called Rizzotti's and, for that r
son, is still Known as Zot's. Zovs is off in
the country а way; sometimes horses
tethered out front Stanford's current
"student population is 41 percent female,
but we hear that percentage is rising.
Most of the female undergrads live in
deems, most of which are coed. Weekend
8 таке Stantordites to Squaw Val-
ley, Yosemite National Park, Reno and
San Francisco. The two biggest on-
campus activities seem to be Frisbee
1 going to the flicks—there
lots of theaters and film-society off
+ The University of Arizona (Tuco
With Tucson’s sunny desert clin
no marvel that the University ol
excels in astronomy and environmental
research. Its proximity to the Indian
ruins of the Hohokam, Mogollon and
cultures has contributed to its
excellent anthropology department. The
sunny clime has also created a modern
culture of sun worshipers worthy of
study; the Mall in the center of the
campus draws scantily clad undergrads
Jong. Rituals, beyond basi
include the / nt Rite of the
Frisbee and guitar pla , not to men-
tion elementary pair bonding. The stu-
dent population is about ha
female (we don't mean androgynous) and
js scattered among sity dorms,
frats, sororities and apartments. Students
are generally very outdoors oriented.
frequently drive to Sabino
which is about 15 miles north
pus, if they are not swimming in one of
the three university pools. We're not
sure what it means, but one of the most
crowded campus bars is Dooley's, form
ly a Baptist church. It’s the staid, V
torian-looking chapel at the corner of
University and Eudid—you can't miss
10075. 19 mg. tar”, 13 mg. nicotine,
KING: 20 то. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine,
av. per cigarette. FTC Report MAY 78.
© 1978 А. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.
FILTER-CIGARETTES
FULL: RICH
TOBACCO FLAVOR
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
A tape deck that thinks, a turntable steady as a rock, а receiver that protects itself, and more.
In your dream you hear
beautitul music coming from
a high fidelity system. All the
components have the same
name on them.
Impossible? Only if yc
believe there's one "best
maker for each type of
component. Once, perhaps
But today no one has a
monopoly on technological
excellence. You'll find the
Optonica™ name on entire
systems of the world’s most
advanced components,
with innovations—our own
new circuits and features—
you might expect to find
only in a dream.
In a dream you might
own the amazing Optonica
cassette deck that contains
а small computer You can
program it to control endless
recording and playback
junctions. It would be a
fantastic deck even without
ils own computer
In the same dream you
could have the Optonica
turntable with a beautiful
base that looks and feels
just like granite. It is, in fact,
mikage granite, which will
transmit exactly the correct
amount of vibration to the
lone arm: nonc.
You might furnish your
dream with a new Optonica
receiver or separates, the
only ones in the world built
with aircheck calibration,
Opto-lock tuning, triple
power supply designs, and
three protection circuits,
Now the same source also
produces some of the most
accurale speaker systems in
history. Optonica CP-5ISI's
incorporale a unique new
tweeter. It weighs just
about 1/50th as much as a
comparable "dome"-type
tweeter, and its sound is
incomparable.
Listen to a system with
one name: a dream system,
only at an Optonica dealer.
[OPTONICA
it. Other favorite watering holes are
Gentle Ве nd The Bum Steer
* Oregon State University (Corvallis):
Officials of Oregon State like to call their
school “the friendly and scholarly cam-
pus." The local icon of friendliness is the
mattress that is suspended from the ceil
ing of Mother's Mattress Factory, а fa-
vorite undergrad tippling spot. Other
hangouts are the Oregon Museum Pub
and Wes's Lounge, a disco. To be a suc-
cess with the college crowd. a bar has to
have a Foosball game. Aside from bar-
hopping, the most popular after-class
pastime involves Oregon State's Experi-
mental College Program, a loose amal-
gam of noncredit, tuition-free. lifestyle
courses including belly dancing, yoga,
dog obedience, the fine art of wine and
your basic North Woods arts and crafts.
The student population numbers almost
14,000 undergrads, 40 percent fem:
The Willamette River, on the cast
of the campus, brings young romancers
together [or boating and sparking, not
necessarily in that order. The campus has
а feeling of isolation апа. because of that,
students have а sense of mutual reliance.
They also leave town a lot—a trip to the
beach at Newport (one hour away) is fre-
quently followed by clam chowder at
Mo's, background Гог onc ol the scenes in
the Henry Fonda—Paul Newman movie
Sometime a Great Nolion, Winter calls
for skiing in the Cascade Range—Hoo-
doo Bowl or Mount Bachelor.
* Washington State. University (Pull-
man): Some students at WSU claim
that their school is the number-one per-
capita drinking school in the nation. We
haven't эссп the alleged study, but we've
heard that WSU students are inclined to
make frequent excursions down to Boyer
Park on the Snake River with kegs of
beer, Certainly, social life seems to re
volve around the suds, Most of the public
abibing takes place in Moscow, Idaho,
t miles away, where the drinking age
J. In Moscow, the place to be
y night is Rathskellers Inn—it's got a
live band and a dance floor and is usually
packed to the rafters after ten rar. For
those over 21, closer-to-campus high spots
include Rico's Smokchouse, The
Сопаре (а frat hangout) and The К;
good for beer, dinner and watching its
projection TV. Most students. (WSU is
13 percent female) live in dorms, but
there is a big push to get off campus
into apartments. For a number o£ years,
students at WSU have observed a rite
called National Outdoor Intercourse Day
(May eighth). Sleeping bags turn up а
most everywhere on campus and resound-
ing through the hills is the pagan chant:
le
“Hooray, hooray for the cighth of
May
National Outdoor Intercourse Day!”
| 4l Heineke*
—
The year-round dark beer.
Glass after glass— there is only one dark beer that gives you
this consistently wholehearted character and great taste, any
and every time. Its Heineken Special Dark Beer. Brewed and
bottled in Holland. Heineken tastes tremendous. No wonder
its Americas #1 imported beer. Exclusive U.S. Importers:
Van Munching & Co., N.Y., N.Y.
INNER GAME OF SEX
(continued from page 152)
“We'll just be lying there after the first time,
and all of a sudden, ГЇЇ be ready again.
درو
PLAYBOY
himself worrying about whether or not
he'll be able to get her into bed in an
hour or two. Whar he should do is bring
his thoughts gently back to the food and
the wine and the conversation of here
nd now. If he doesn't keep his mind
on now, there may not be
experi
trates the rewards of being
about the future. In his early 205, he'd
had only four bed partners in his life
rned that, except on rare
occasions, he was capable, at most, of
two orgasms a night. Then he started an
with a woman who. for most of
ied life, had had sex
month. She thought anything her ра
ner might do would be prodigious. The
man didn't care whether or not he im-
pressed her in bed
He found himself making love with
his friend three times a night just about
every time they went to bed. His low-key
tude relieved him of the pressure to
perform, and that put him in touch with
feelings he hadn't been aware of. He
ned or even expected his im-
ormance. It simply happened,
like inspiration, “We'll just be lying
there after the first time,”
"maybe talking or just рец
And all of a sudden, ГИ be ri
bout once
And even then, l'm not sure I'm going
to come. But I always do. Again and
ters and Johnson c pit of
focusing on climax the “end-point
lease orientation." As an antidote, they
recommend “sensate focus.” You should
direct your awareness toward the pleas-
ant sensations you're experiencing now,
without having а goal in mind. Sensate
focus has cured impotent men and non
orgasmic women. Told by the therapist
to let the partner stroke and massage
him or her—not touching the genita
and not trying to have sex—many a man,
no longer wondering whether he will or
won't get a Пардон woman,
no longer anxious about whether or not
she will come, finds
that hasn't [elt
chill becomes a
good as hi, the gre
Fifties, when the height of a Saturd:
ight’s pl was to spend hours neck-
arked car till our lips were
and swollen.
w life in a body
as, The
most
lacerated Those were
es, but
276
be invested in а week of fantasies. Screw-
ing was out of the question. We were
thus spared the blight of goal-oriented
here were some men, Masters and
son have observed. who did their
basic training іп whorehouses,
the lad telling them
to hurry it up. If they took the lesson too
much to heart, they became premature
j nother malfunction arising
E Î dí appr
happening.
E
A man who tries to retard his orgasm
is thinking too much about the fut
Holding back, 1
all movement when
s long been consid-
le sexual sophisti-
ion. But sometimes the result isn't as
g to either party as it is sup-
posed to be. Going with the flow often
works better; sometimes the man's v
orous, uninhibited thrusting will bring
оп the woman's orgasm. Sometimes he
will have a second or third erection and
е longer to reach his second or
third. orgasm, thereby greatly extending
his partner's pleasure. Nature has
of taking care of us when we doi
to fool her.
Playing this kind of inner game in
which the obstacles to be overcome are
one’s own mental states, Gallwey ex
yer from the fr
nt try
true nature as it reveals
In the Orient,
means of self-aware-
ange as it might seem in
our own culture, in which sex is often
seen on of our animal
side, which is thought to be lower than
our mental side—as if the mind were not
as much a product of animal evolution
s the hand or the stomach, One of the
sacred. stories of India tells how the god
Krishna made love to 16,000 girls in one
night. Hindu and Buddhist holy pictures
frequently show the gods and. goddesses
in sexual union.
Janwillem v
nt to Ja
tells of a Zen monk ca
ile tha
ness is not as st
as am
ig, а Dutch-
to study Zen,
led Bobo Roshi—
Шу as Master
Fuck. U! hieve satori alter years
of meditating on his koan, he climbed
over a wall of his monastery and wa
dered through the streets of Kyoto. A
prostitute in the Willow Quarter took
Ме tc
monk for so
ppen-
him in. Having lived as
long, he didn't realize what was
ing till she started to undress him:
Then she took him to her bath,
that’s the custom here. Your shoul-
ders are m nd vou are dried
with a clean towel and they talk to
you. Slowly you become very excited
and when she feels vou are ready,
she es you to the bedroom. He
must have been quite excited. after
so many years of ng. At the
moment he went into her, he solved
his koan. He had an enormous sa-
lori, one of those very rare satoris
which are described їп our books,
not a little understanding which can
be decpened later but the lot at
once, an explosion. which tears you
to pieces and you think the world
has come to an end, that you can
fill the emptiness of the universe in
every possible sphere. When he left
the woman, he was а master.
Sex for the sake of illumination may
make it sound like a sort of spiritual
masturbation, Actually, the view of sex
were exploring makes it impossible to
be self-centered. The stage fright that
spoils sex comes from too much concern
about one’s own standing in the game.
With the Zen approach, you stop asking
“How am I doing?" And whe
stops seeing his lover as his judge or
competitor, he can enjoy sex all out.
That will make him a better lover, be-
cause a person who thoroughly enjoys
doing something is good at it. He is free
of the feeling that he has to control or
impress his partner; he is play
her, not against or upon her.
We already have the capacity to enjoy
sex fully right now. We don't need any
improvement: we need only to get out of
our own way. d the end of The
Inner Game o[ Tennis, Gallwey explains
that the book shoukl not be taken as a
manual for sell-improvement: "Admitted-
ly. much of this book may seem to read
that way, but speaking as a man who was
once a compulsive sell-improver, 1 want
10 make it cl the last thing 1 wish
to do is encourage any notion that you
should be any different fro what you
are right now.” From this point of view,
we ready perfect just as we а
M sex seems to lack something, the sdhü-
tion is not to try harder but to remove
whatever is blocking it, Many people
complain that their sexual experiences
seem unreal to them. They've pushed
their thinking, worrying Spectator be-
tween themselves and the wordless,
thoughtless realm of the Player. That is
1, because sex should be enjoyed in all
s here-and-now glory, fun fulness
and profundity. A change in attitude сап
help restore delight.
Tow:
E
BY HARVEY Rz AND wiu. ELDER
19 MISTER
PORTNOY HERE?
HE'S WRITING _,
FOR"SPACE WARS ТГ
ANO ASKED ME
To MEET HIM
THE JOKE'S ON YOU, BABES! I'M REAL. LOOK! REMEMBER KAK-E DOO-T
HE'S THE ROBOT. BUILT FOR THE FROM "SPACE WARS"? THESE ARE
BILLION-DOLLAR-MAN SHOW... A ALL THE SAME KAK-E UCO-T...ONE
ONE-MILLION-DOLLAR FACE, A THREE- FOR TALKING, ONE FOR WALKING.
MILLION-DOLLAR HEART ANO A FIVE- THEY STUFF STAN THE MIDGET
MILLION-DOLLAR SCHLONG INSIDE — PORTNOY!
I MUST GET BACK
амо STILL то MY? AGENT, SOLLY,
A THIRD ONE INMAKE-UP. THEY'RE
FOR KICKING
AROUND.
UH, OH! '©$СО©Е ME, STANLEY!
MAKE ALL
THE SPECIAL
EFFECTS FOR
‘SPACE WARS,"
WHERE ARE
THOSE
GIGANTIC
SPACE-
SHIPS?
LET ME SHOW vou A
THAT'LL BLOW YOUR
RIGHT UNDER
OUR NOSE, BABES. THEY'RE MINIATURE
MODELS, MADE TO LOOK HUGE BY SPECIAL
EFFECTS.
SUPERBLY
DETAILED MODELS
TAKING YEARS TO BUILD,
ARE CRAFTED BY THE
FINEST MODEL-
MAKERS,
SPECIAL EFFECT IN THE NEXT STUDIO
MIND... THEY’ RE DOING IT FOR “GROSS
ENCOUNTERS,” THE FIRST HIGH-BUOGET, X-RATED
HOLOGI
NEW KINI
IT'S,
SCI-FI FILM
RAM? IS THAT SOME
D OF KINKY ORGY?
SORT OF A THREE-
YOU CAN HARDLY? TELL IT
FROM THE REAL THING.
IT Has COLOR,
IT HAS
DEPTH...
THROUGH
SPECIAL EFFECTS, THIS
MODEL SPACESHIP WILL BE
COMBINEO IN BATTLE WITH
THIS MODEL LASER
MODEL. IT'S
NOT A
MODEL!
IN, BAGES,
IT'S ONLY A
HOLOGRAM,
DON'T LOOK NOW
PORTNOY, BUT THE HOLOGRAM 1S
FOLLOWING Us.
Гм MEL.
EE | WHEN I SWEEP
UP AROUND THE
С HOLOGRAM,
І GO
BONKERS!
f ANNIE!
THEY'RE
WAITING
TO
MEASURE
vou.
PERFECTO!
THE BUST IS
VERY CRITICAL TO has MADE FOR
THIS COSTUME THIS PART! `
THIS
É IS WHY You TH
NEEDED A UTE INTO
“GENEROUS AIR OF АЙМ
тант тнт Bust’? PAIR OF ARMS,
BOOBS! YOU'LL
BE A
SENSASH"
MIX HER WITH
THE REAL
INSECTS THROUGH
SPECIAL EFFECTS -
„010 YOU SEE
THE BUG
WE TRAINED
FOR TWO
WEARS ТО
BE OUR
PSST! ANNIE!
WHILE EVERYONE'S BUSY, COME STEP.
IN HERE AND LET ME SHOW You THE MOST
COCKAROACH!
d ч SPECTACULAR SPECIAL EFFECT
^ F
COCKAROACH!
JUST LEAN
BACK. YOU'LL FEEL IT
IN А MINUTE?
T
WHAT DOES ў DOESN'T...
THIS HAVE TO 90 BUT TELL ME,
тн“ 15 THERE А
Wir SPACE BETTER SPECIAL
Y > EFFECT? ee
E LERPIN' LIZARDS,
WHAT NOW? ANOTHER
CIAL EFFECT/?
ч 7 WoULO чоо Е
ЭЖ PLEASE HAVE ооа YR
G^ “SPECIAL EFFECT
WITHOUT ME?
BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY
WLAN LONGUORE 4 COUIANT, LASTED
KEITH. SCOTLAND
©
oir ктм „б
Lucky Americans.
You pay less to go first class.
Here in Athens, Passport costs as much as other whiskies, but bottle Passport in the U.S.—and pass
premium scotches. In fact. it's expensive everywhere on the tax and shipping savings to you. So to lucky
but in America. We use Scotland's most expensive Americans, this superb scotch only tastes expensive.
Passport Scotch
GEAR
BODYWORK
ave you heard the old joke about the muscular guy at the beach who was showing off his build by lifting a girl
with each arm? A 97-pound weakling delivers the punch line, “Did you see the dolls on that boob?" Nobody is
laughing these days at men with good bods: Being in shape gives them more self-confidence; and when they're
in bed—well, what girl was ever turned on by a paunch? Shaping up, however, requires effort. But the good
news is that there are some contraptions available to help make the procedure relatively painless. Press on, Arnold!
Above: Dynavit Computer Exerciser that's distributed by Haden is designed to be programmed with info about your age, sex and
i will then calculate the amount of exercise you need and monitor your pulse rate as you pedal, from Neiman-Marcus, $2000.
Above: Wall-mounted SportsMate Rotary Exerciser that's a great tennis
conditioner, by Nautilus Sports/Medical Industries, $29.95. Right: Uni-
versal Centurion II/DVR Chest Press provides up to 390 pounds of lift-
ing resistance, from Swartz, $995, including a bench and instructions.
RICHARD Ut
FASHION
SERVED UP WITH STYLE
wenty-three-year-old tennis pro Vitas Gerulaitis can play in just about any clothes he wants—thank you very much—and still
beat the pants off most opponents. What he wears here are fresh from the drawing board of a bright new British talent, Paul
Smith. The styles combine classic British fabrics and patterns with au courant tailoring. The layered look, you'll notice, also
continues to score bie points. Game, set, match. — DAVID PLATT
LAS
МИМ VEN NÉ e
NIN OXXX ODO AK
PILLOW? AIAN
N
Ces NAN МУУХУУУУУХУ
N VN
NAA ХАА? AK A NINA
BRUCE LAURAN
Above: Gerulaitis comes on looking smashing in two Paul Smith outfits. The one featured in the inset photo includes a wool/polyester flannel jacket
with a shawl collar, $180, a nubby rayon pullover shirt, $54, wool double-pleated slacks, $80, and a canvas belt, $8. The other is a double-breasted
282 wool herringbone suit, $270, worn over a knit cardigan, $54, matching vest, $42, check-plaid flannel shirt, $50, and iridescent wool knit tie, $8.
HABITAT.
REAL CORKERS!
ow you choose to separate a cork from a wine bottle barman's cork puller, perhaps, that clamps to a table and
is a matter of personal aesthetics. Some oenophiles can pull the corks from a case of wine faster than you can
prefer the simple approach: a single-lever corkscrew say André Simon. The Corky is a fun gadget that pumps air
that lifts the cork (you hope) in one swift motion. into a bottle, eventually popping the cork. But enough. With
Others opt for something more elaborate: the professional all these bottles open, who'd like a drink? —— —HOLUS WAYNE
Far left to right: Corky is an easy-to-
clean hypodermic instrument that
doesn’t damage cork or wine, from
Bloomingdale's, $8, with needle cover.
The Gitano corkscrew (a.k.a. thiev-
i ing butler) features two blades that
slip around cork, leaving it undam-
р | aged, from Bazaar De La Cuisine, $2.95.
| : France's zigzag corkscrew is the lazy
y man’s model; its curious design pro-
vides excellent leverage to lift the
cork easily, from La Cuisiniere, $7.50.
The single-lever corkscrew is a favor- سد
ite of sommeliers; this model has a
small knife to cut foil. It folds for stor-
age, from Bazaar De La Cuisine, $2.95.
The boxwood (also known as the
counter screw) is, indeed, wood; one
lever screws into the cork, the other
one lifts it, from La Cuisiniere, $6.50.
Below left: This contraption is called a champagne
lever and once it’s clamped to a bottle of bubbly,
there’s no more effervescent pop or dented ceil-
ings, from Bazaar De La Cuisine, $4.50. Below
right: Champagne pliers, from La Cuisiniere,$12.50.
Above: The barman’s corkscrew is a heavy-duty professional tool that fastens to a
countertop or table and then stands ready to lend a helping hand when it's party
time and you've a number of bottles to open, from The Professional Kitchen, $62.95. 283
284
GRAPEVINE
(© THE PRESS ASSOCIATION LTD,
Bunny, Bunny, Where
Have You Been?
I’ve Been to Epsom
to Visit the Queen!
On the left, we have QUEEN ELIZABETH,
dressed in a yellow suit and matching
day; she’s there to watch one of her
thoroughbreds run in England’s biggest
race. On the right, in a scarlet Bunny cos-
lume with white ears and tail, we have
LOUISE PALMER, a 24-year-old thor-
oughbred, there to promote Playboy’s
British bookmaking operations. “Û had this
huge white daisy in my hand,” said Lı
explaining how she crossed paths wi
“We were allowed to stay on the same side
of the railing as the queen, andso I handed
the daisy to her. She looked a bit surprised,
but she smiled and said, ‘Thank you.’ She
was lovely.” Twenty-four hours later,
Louise was something of a national celeb-
rity. One interviewer titled his piece, “The
Face in Front of Those Legs.” But, as you
can see from our off-track photo, Louise is
lovely all over. Oh, yes: Liz’s horse
finished out of the money. Bad show.
BRIAN HENNESSEY
LYNN GOLDSMITH.
On the Road Again
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN was locked in the studio for 11 months putting down tracks for the
long-awaited Darkness on the Edge of Town. Now he’s out on parole, with the semilegendary Е
Street band, touring far and wide and forever. There's no stopping or standing on Easy Street.
RON GALELLA
She's Only a Bird
in a Gilda Cage
What you see here is a high-level political-
campaign strategy session between New Jersey
senatorial candidate BILL BRADLEY and his
consumer-policy advisor, ROSEANN ROSE-
ANNADANNA. Miss Roseannadanna, nationally
known for her consumer reports on NBC's
Saturday Night Live, is considered to be one of
the key aides to the young Democrat, nationally
known as a former forward with the New York
Knicks. If Bradley wins in November against his
equally young and untested Republican oppo-
nent, Jeffrey Bell, there are unconfirmed re-
ports that he will nominate Miss Roseannadanna
for the post of Secretary of the U.S. Depart-
ment of Health, Education and Coneheads.
Street Fighter
No, this is not a rubble-strewn street scene from
some old World War Two picture. This is New York
restaurateur ELAINE KAUFMAN defending her
Manhattan saloon, Elaine's, from a determined as-
sault by prying paparazzo RON GALELLA. While the
social butterflies are known to flit around El
with nocturnal regularity, on this particular night the
place was dizzy with celebrity monarchs: Woody
Allen, Cheryl Tiegs, Richard Dreyfuss. This being
Galella’s photographic métier, he staked out the
street. That did not set well with Elaine, who likes to
protect her clients. You don’t have to bea lip reader
to understand the gist of Elaine’s feelings on the
matter. Who took the photo? Galella, of course.
285
286
Die Sexte Dimension or
Is This Any Way to Run
a Playboy Pad?
We have to keep a close eye on the foreign
editions of ptavsoy. Things are always gelting
lost in translation. When we first saw these
pictures in the August issue of the German
PLAv&OY, we wondered if our friends across the
sea had somehow gotten the notion of the
Playboy Pad mixed up with A Layman's Guide
to Surrealism. We hired an interpreter, who
discovered that the feature was called Die
Sexte Dimension. Photographer Gerhard
Vormwald had created these crazy rooms for
his own amusement. The caption to one of the
pictures made everything clear: "The fallen
angel dials the secret number. ‘Hello, | can
procure for you an apocalypse wrapped in
silver or in blue. Are you interested?’ The per-
son on the other side breathes deep and heavy.
Connections have been established. ‘When can
we see each other?’ ‘Tonight or never,’ is the
answer. ‘Where are you?’ ‘Behind the brightest
star in seventh heaven.’ The wire grows hot and
there is a white noise in the receiver. ‘I'll be
there,’ she screams and ascends. The fiery rod
seems to know the way. She discounts her sis-
ter's dire warning." Or another: “To record
those wet dreams, photographer Gerhard
Vormwald built a shower cabin in his Munich
studio, suspended the girl from the handles and
poured the water over her with a sprinkler can.
All he did then was to turn the photo for 90
degrees. Simple, wasn't it?" As we said. We
have to keep an eye on our foreign editions.
PLAYBOY'S ROVING EYE
288
WHY DON'T WE
GET DRUNK AND SCREW?
We finally have an answer to Jimmy
Bufíett's musical question. Psychologists
Gary Farkas and Ray Rosen at the Uni-
versity of Hawaii have confirmed that
too much booze can retard sexual per-
formance. The researchers gave 16 col-
lege men various drinks equivalent to
zero, one, two or Ihree cocktails mixed
with one ounce each oí 100-proof
liquor. Then the men viewed porno
movies while the researchers moni-
tored their heartbeats with polygraphs
and their erections with a form of peter
meter. The turned-on collegians expe-
rienced а nine-millimeter increase in
the diameter of their penises with no
alcohol, an average of ten millimeters’
increase with one drink. Let's hear it
for one for the road. However, before
you gel your spirits up, read this: With
three drinks, the erections shrank to an
average of just under seven and a half
millimeters,
ROLL YOUR OWN
While American condoms may be
top quality, their film and foil packets
have befuddled bedroom eyes for
years. It's sometimes a struggle to main-
tain any Glan, not to mention an erec-
tion, without ripping the condom
itself. But now the Swedes (perhaps
because of their long, dark winter) have
introduced “consumer friendly" pack-
aging. The condoms are packed in
easy-to-open, transparent film without
the little paper oval commonly found
on American condoms. By opening it
with the transparent side away from
himself, the user is assured the condom
will be in the right position to roll on.
In the same mode, Swedish manufac-
turers have introduced such friendly
graphic motifs as flowers and bees and
the pictured tobacco pouch. So when
you see a Swedish gentleman gingerly
tapping that tobacco pouch against his
SEX NEWS
pipe while eying the Nordic blonde
nearby, better check that tobacco
pouch again
BROWN SUGAR
We've always been partial to choc-
olate bunnies, but we'll have to admit
that the Edible Sculpture Contest at The
Art Institute of Chicago educated our
palate. Sculptor chefs concocted every-
thing from hamburger people to choc-
olate apples and breasts. Our favorite,
pictured here amid tropical fruit à la
Gauguin, is a 100-pound milk-choco-
late nude mold. The artist, Brian Gar-
rick, fashioned a cast from the real
Vicki Haines of PLavsov's Art Depart-
ment. If you think you could develop
an appetite for this sort of thing,
sorry—the entire exhibit was consumed
after the show by participants and visi
tors. Haines reports that her 75-cents-
per-pound likeness was eaten in five
minutes, which raised certain questions
we thought we'd better not ask,
LESS IS MORE
America's plastic surgeons have
bad news for breast men. The hot
subject at this year's mecting of the
American Society for Aesthetic Plastic
Surgery was the growing number of re-
quests for breast reduction. Surgeons
ascribe the new taste for tiny tits to a
number oí things, including the no-bra
look, skinny fashion models and the
women's movement. One surgeon al-
lowed that perhaps small breasts are
beginning to turn men on.
WHIFF-HOLDING EVIDENCE
The question of whether or not a
rape victim should resist has never
been resolved. Now there's a form of
passive resistance that makes sense, er,
а scent. Canadian Paul LeBlond has
invented an antirape device consisting
of à small capsule filled with synthetic
skunk odor. The capsule, called Rapel,
is broken easily in one hand by the
user, who will be surrounded imme-
diately by a strong skunk odor, it's
hoped deterring the assailant, who
won't be too hard to sniff out later.
Е
iS
NEW HOPE FOR HERPES
The good word is: bioflavonoids. A
team of Navy dentists at the National
Naval Center in Bethesda, Maryland,
have revealed that patients suffering
from Herpes Simplex I, the oral type,
respond rapidly to treatments with
а water-soluble bioflavonoid-ascorbic-
acid complex. Lesions on the lips healed
completely within four days when
treated with the supplement, as op-
posed to the ten days it took a control
group to heal. The study did not test
the potion on Herpes Simplex Il, the
8
TART
Speaking of V.D., here's something for
the person who has everything. A Case
of Clap from Et Tu Enterprises. You can
get it anywhere, And, as we know so
well, it’s the gift that keeps on giving.
genital variation, but some experts
think there may be hope in that area.
Beutlich, Inc, the producer of a bio-
flavonoid-ascorbic-acid tablet called
Peridin-C (which is available over the
counter), has been approached to test
iton the genital virus, but no work
has been done to date. B
TEST
LANCIA
VALUE.
Lancia has value unique among
automobiles in its class. Value
inherent in every aspect of this
beautiful car — in structure, in
appointments, in performance.
A 70-year history of engineering
innovation plus classic Italian
design has created an automo-
bile that combines superior
ое Sedan. Lani
handling and roadability with
more than a taste of luxury. A
World Rally Champion in 1972,
1974, 1975 and 1976, Lancia
responds to the touch of experi-
enced drivers. Rack and pinion
steering, front wheel drive, fully
independent suspen-
sion and 4-wheel disc
a of Amer
brakes combine to give preci-
sion control for a great driving
experience. And you can enjoy
the comfort typical of far more
expensive automobiles. You'll
find Lancia is the intelligent alter-
native to overpriced and over-
rated luxury imports. Test Lancia
value. Then test drive Lancia.
The intelligent alternative
to overpriced luxury imports
asion of F.M.N A, 155 Chestnut Ridge Road, Montvale
PLAYBOY
Classic English Leather®. The fresh,
clean, masculine scent a woman
loves her man to wear... or nothing at
all. Wind. A clear, crisp call to
adventure...refreshing as the wind
from the sea. Timberline’ isk and
woodsy, exhilarating as the great
outdoors. In After Shave, Cologne,
Gift Sets, and men’s grooming gear.
Atfine toiletry counters.
English Leather.
Northvale, New Jersey 07647 © 1978
Available in Canada
NEXT MONTH:
CURRENT BUNNIES
MOVIE SEX PERFECT MATCH
“THE HOFFA WARS"—WHO KILLED JIMMY HOFFA AND WHY:
A MAJOR INVESTIGATION! INTO THE TEAMSTER LEADER'S IN-
VOLVEMENT WITH ASSASSINATION PLOTS, ORGANIZED CRIME
AND RICHARD NIXON—BY DAN Е. MOLDEA
“FALLING ANGEL"—THE STUNNING CONCLUSION OF OUR NEW
DETECTIVE NOVEL ABOUT THE SEARCH FOR A MISSING VOCAL-
IST—BY WILLIAM HJORTSBERG
GERALDO RIVERA DISCUSSES THE RUMORS THAT HAVE CIRCU-
LATED ABOUT HIM, THE NATURE OF TV NEWS AND HIS BAR
MITZVAH IN A FRANK, OUTSPOKEN PLAYBOY INTERVIEW
“SEX IN CINEMA—1978"—HERE IT COMES AGAIN, THE YEAR'S
ROUNDUP OF STEAMY FILM FARE, PLUS AN ANALYSIS OF HOLLY-
WOOD'S CURRENT MOOD—BY ARTHUR KNIGHT
“HIGH ON THE HILL"—AN EXCLUSIVE POLL OF MEMBERS OF
CONGRESS ON THEIR USE OF "CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES"—BY
LOIS ROMANO AND KEN CUMMINS
“PERFECT MATCH"—REJECTED BY HER LOVER, A YOUNG
WOMAN GETS TOGETHER WITH AN ARSONIST AND BEGINS A
FLAMING AFFAIR-BY BARBARA ROCHELLE
“THE GREAT SIXTIES QUIZ"—YES, THOSE WERE THE DAYS—
FREE LOVE, FREE SEX, FREE TEAR GAS.... BUT HOW MUCH DO
YOU REALLY REMEMBER?—BY DAN CARLINSKY
“PLAYBOY'S COLLEGE BASKETBALL PREVIEW’’—OUR
MAN'S WELL-EDUCATED GUESSES ABOUT THE FORTHCOMING
COLLEGIATE HOOP SEASON (PLUS A SNEAK PEEK AT THE PROS-
PECTS OF THE PRO TEAMS)—BY ANSON MOUNT
“LEARNING TO BE POOR"—COLLEGE MAY TEACH YOU TO
THINK YOU'RE SMART, BUT IT SURE DOESN'T TEACH YOU HOW
TO GET RICH—BY BEN STEIN
“BUNNIES OF '78"—A PHOTOGRAPHIC TRIBUTE TO AN INTER-
NATIONAL ARRAY OF HUTCH LOVELIES
JUSTERINI & BROOKS Founded 1749
In aworld where fame is fleeting,
there’ a reason its been in the багын
86 Proof Blended Scotch Whisky © 1978 Paddington Corp., М.Ү.
Carlton
is lowest.
See how Carlton stacks
down in tar. Look at thc latest
U.S. Government figures for:
tar nicotine
А _ motio ma icd
Winston Lights 12 09
Vantage х) ЇЙ 07
Salem Lights __ 17 08
Kent Golden Lights 8 | o6
Merit a в 06
True 5 3 04
Carlton Soft Pack 1 ол n
Carlton Menthol less than 1 0.1
Carlton Box less than *1 *0.1
“Av per cigarette by FTC method
Of all brands, lowest... Carlton Box: 1 mg tar,
0.1 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method
Carlton.
Filter E Menthol
5 mg.
tar.
A Soft Pack and Menthol: 1mg. "tar", 0.1 mg. nicotine
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined | 3v. per cigarette, FTC Report Aug. 77. Box: 1 mg. "tar" 0.1 mg. nicotine;
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 100 mm. Soft Pack and Menthol: 5 mg. "tar", 0.5 mg. nicotine
av. per cigarette by FTC method.