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OHN TRAVOLTA STEPS OUT: 
A VERY CANDID | 


FARRAH COMES 
77 BACK—BIG! 


PLUS GUNTER GRASS, DAN 

ў It: GREENBURG, F. LEE BAILEY, 

drug “THE N.B.A. COACHES’ ALL-STAR 

_ oy TEAM, SEX STARS OF '78 AND (AFTER 
ALL, IT'S CHRISTMAS) MUCH, MUCH MORE 


E 


If you can taste the difference in water, 
you can appreciate the difference in Finlandia. 


Well Water Distilled Water 


Vodka is a combination 
of neutral spirits and water. 
The water is added to bring 
the vodka to its final proof: 
Since neutral spirits are 
pretty much equally neutral, 
is the water that makes for 


1 a ير‎ 
subtle, vet appreciable, ] 
differences. And the water that goes FINLAND 
into Finlandia Vodka is very Eme 
ditferent from the water in most Ф 
other vodkas. 


Others use distilled or micro- 
scopically filtered water. Which is 


much less lively than natural water, toda ni aniani 

Finlandias water is 100% natural. ka of Finle!| 
It comes from a deep well that 
lies under à 10,000 year old glacial 
moraine formation in Rajamäki, 
Finland. 

Vhis delicious, natural water 
gives Finlandia a lively freshness all 
Its own. 

F hat's why people who know 
their vodka are loathe to mix 
Finlandia with tomato juice, orange 
juice and such. They enjoy Finlandia 
to its fullest: in an exceptionally dry 
martini, on the rocks, or icy-cold 
straight from the freezer. The way 
fine vodka is meant to be served. 

If vou've never experienced 
vodka this way, try imported 
Finlandia. 

Youll appreciate the difference. 


94 Proof 


FINLANDIA 


The Lively Vodka of Finland 


The most romantic gift of fragrance 
773 aman can give awoman. 


LAr du Emp 


NINA RICCI 
PARIS 


True. 
\ Unexpected / /| 


taste 


at 
only 


< 
а 
E 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking ls Dangerous to Your Health. Regular and Menthol 5 mg. "tar"; 04 mg. nicotine 
av. per cigarette, FIC Report May 1978. 


PLAYBILL 


RAM, RAH, RAM! Sis, boom, bah! pLaynoy's special Christmas 
gilts to America are the che: ders of the N.F.L.! That's 
right, sports fai without their costumes! And without 
shame! No longer will you have to wonder in front of your 
TV sets just how scrumptious those young things would look. 
Once and for all, we prove the point that the best thing about 
ihe Dallas Cowboys is the. Dallas Cowgirls squad. In Pro 
Football's Main Attractions, Robert Blair Kaiser describes the 
difliculties we encountered in bringing all of this to you. 
Needless to say, most. of the frontoffice brass of the N.E.L. 
clubs were than helpful. But you'll be amazed how 
unhelpful they were and to what lengths they went to d 
suade us from getting this pictorial. All's fair in love and 
but not necessarily in sports. We're providing a number 
of extra added attractions with a delightlul pictorial on the 
Texas Cowgirls, Inc, the ladies who have moved on from 
the Cowboys to bigger and barer things. 

Next up is a powerhouse new work by Ginter Gross, The 
Flounder. Excerpted from the forthcoming book of the same 
name to be published by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, it is an 
allegorical extravaganza of the sort that has not been seen 
from him since The Tin Drum. Originally published in Ger- 
many, it is a runaway hit, selling over 300,000 copies in hard- 
cover there. We are pleased to showcase a first look at this 


named author Trevenian. 

Recently, Americans were asked if they objected 10 their 
Presidents having an active, ov even a risqué sex Ше, to 
which the majority responded that it was OK with them. We 
asked syndicated columnist Max Lerner, who is also a professor 
in the Graduate School of Human Behavior at San. Diego's 
mal University, to investigate this phenom- 
yos and Power; Lerner surveys the Presidents ће 
nd traces the twin threads of political and sexual 
pproaches to the office. Perhaps 


has known 
potency in the men and th 
best known for his book America as a Civilization, Lerue 
plans to rework this article into a book, The Wounded 
Titans: A Gallery of Presidents. 

Moving along trom the seat of power to the two most 


ır stars im recent history, we give you Farrah Fewcott- 
„ who not only graces our cover, courtesy of photogra- 
pher Claude Mougin, but about whom we put you up to date in 
our feature Born-Again Farrah. A years absence from 
Charlie's Angels has made one thing dear: Age cannot w her 
her, nor her hairdo, for that matter. And talk about infinite 
variety, a year ago, John Travolta was just another sweathog, 
but now he's the first face in a long time to fill the screen 
with raw presence reminiscent of the early Marlon Brando 
and Montgomery Clift. In our exclusive interview, conducted 
by Judson Klinger, Travolta describes his own remedy for 
Saturday Night Fever, the trials and tribulations of being а 
matinee idol and gives some helpful hints to the rest of us on 
how to walk it like we talk it so as not to lose that beat. 

Known most recently as Patty Hearst's defender, F. Lee 
Bailey here turns his attention to defending you against an air 
crash. Himself an accomplished pilot, Bailey first of all con- 
tradicts the commonly held assumption that if the plane's 
going down, the best а passenger сап do is fold his arms 
around his knees and kiss his ass goodbye. Wrongo, boy 
scouts! Be prepared by reading How lo Survive an Air Crash; 
your chances of survival will be a lot less bleak than you 
thought. 

‘Throughout Dan Greenburg's long association with гїлүвоү, 
we've sent him on some impossible missions, such as his last 


popu 
м 


Ё М... 


RHEINGOLD 


BAILEY 


1 EH 


GREENDURG CALDERWOOD 


CATCHPOLE 


article describing his adventures at Sandstone, the California 
swingers’ club. This time. however. he got himself into the 
predicament he writes about. Twelve Tough Muthuhs is the 
chronicle of Greenburg's bout with jury duty, in which 
he and I1 of his peers decide whether or not two youths 
willfully and with forethought pump three bullets into a 
abdriver and should therefore spend several semesters in the 
slammer, As usual, Greenburg takes all this heady responsi- 
bility with a few grains of salt and finds that, contrary to 
what the judge said, what happens in a courtroom is, in fact, 
just like it is on TV. Except with TV, you can always change 
the channel. Greenburg's new novel, Love Kills, has gotten 
rave reviews around the country, . 

Also in this issue, we start the first of a series of hard-nosed 
journalistic, city-by-city investigations into Sex im America. 
Peter Ross Range jumps into М and takes its sexual tem- 
perature, What he finds is that if you want to score, it helps 
if you have a nice car. a good credit rating and avoid young, 
п girls who have large brothers. Range explains, 
a very indoorsy town. The sex scene therefore was 
that much harder to penetrate.” But penetrate and dig he 
did, and his findings may surprise you. In addition to writing 
a slew of magazine articles, Range is completing a biography 
of his fellow Georgian Andrew Young. 

One out of every three marriages ends in divorce and the 
sweet thing you married may change into someone you don't 
recognize after a few conversations with her lawyer. Asa Baber, 
a man who knows about these things intimately, supplies a 
blueprint for fighting back in Who Gets Screwed in a 
Divorce? I Do! 

When firing up a joint, have you ever wondered what your 
grandchildren might be doing up in order to get off? It cer- 
tainly crossed our mind, and Howard Rheingold provides the 
answer in Future Highs. His peck into the mind-altering, 
drugs and electronics is a heady vision of the future. The 
mind-blowing illustration is by artist Kathy Calderwood, 

‘The past year fielded a bumper crop of sexy perlormers— 
in movies, TV and music—and they're all pictured in Sex 
Stars of 1978. Jim Harwood accompanies the pictorial with 
breezy insights into the whos and whys. 

In Brief Encounters, PLAYBOY Photographer Richard Fegley 
lingers lovingly on what's new in lingerie. Also, Fegley was 
on location in Singapore for the filming of Saint Jack, a joint 
venture of Playboy Productions and director Peter Bogdano- 
vich. Tom Nolan visited with Bogdanovich while he was cutting 
the film and they talked about his movie successes and [ail 
ures, and about the new film, Nolan’s report accompanies the 
pictorial. From the jewels of Singapore, we come to our 
Ribald Classic, The Case of the Missing Jewel, illustrated by 
the phenomenal Brad Holland. As if all that weren't enough to 
stuff your stockings, Judith Wex provides a new aggle of 
Playboy's Christmas Cards, and Viva Vargas! provides а won- 
derful year-end reprise of the artist's carcer. 

Each year, as the pro-basketball season starts to roll, there's 
much discussion about how valuable certain players are. 
Senior Editor Terry Catchpole asked N.B.A. coaches the ques. 
tion “Whom would you want on the floor during the 
scason’s money game?” He compiled the list of five clutch 
players, plus a sixth man on the bench. You'll need never 
again wonder about what's going on in the coaches’ heads. 

And, of course, we have The 1979 Playboy Music Poll, in 
ich you do the choosing. 

With all the permissive sexual act 
to romance? Did it go the way of foreplay? We are here to 
say emph Associate Editor Barbara Nellis 
put together The Rousing Return of Romance, a collection 
of roi weekends, great sunsets, gilts, flowers and all that 
gushy stuff that everyone used to have to do to get into 
true love's pants. Romance is back with a vengeance. 
you should be glad about it. 

So, from rrAvmov and December Playmate Janet Quist: 
Merry Chr to all, and to all, а good read. 


Е 


ty, whatever happened 


ally no, it did not 


ant 


nd 


FiAYGOV, DECEMBER. 1970, VOL. 15, NO. Ii. PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PU 


BOY, IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS. PLAYBOY BLDG., 919 M. MICHIGAN AVE, CHGO.. п. «0011. SICOND.CUASS. 
314 FOR ONE YEAR. POSTMASTER: SEND FORU 2879 TO FLAYSOY, P.O. вок Z420. BOULDER, COLO. PONOA. 


POSTAGE PAID AT CHSO.. ILL, в AT ADDL. HAILING OFFICES. SUBSCRIPTIONS, IN THE U £ 


#6 Prool Blended Scotch Whisky © 1978 Paddington Corp, NY 
à ө о; ш. 


SiGe سو‎ 


N 4+ 
ОЧА ES Е 


У ЛУ 


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ıe uf JB Pare Scotch—te anyone. anywhere in Ihe continental United States. Just call, toll free: 800-526-6148. Б 


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vol. 25, no. 12—december, 1978 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


PLAYBILE, Tren. ee. 2 «S 
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 13 
DEAR PLAYBOY 21 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS . 31 
BOOKS NS . 36 
MUSIC os. 44 
PEOPLE S 48 
EXPERIENCES 49 
MOVIES .... 50 
COMING ATTRACTIONS 64 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR ТРЧЕ ‚= i 
PLAYBOY SEX POLL od? ВОДЕ HOWARD SMITH 73 
This month's question: What sexual taboo would you like to explore? 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM Жз куеру а a es ра АН eere 83 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: JOHN TRAVOLTA —candid conversation 103 


THE FLOUNDER—fiction .... A ы GUNTER CRASS 136 
The author of The Tin Drum offers six racy tales from his extroordinery new 
novel that explain everything from the creation cf the clitoris to the real joys 
of potty training. 

FAIR SHARE FOR THE FAIR SEX—gifts |... 0. отат 
When she steps out of her stockings on Christmas Eve, here's what you сап 
put into them, you sly dog. 

SEX IN AMERICA: MIAMI—orticle ............ PETER ROSS RANGE 144 
In the first installment of a series on the sex styles of American cities, we 
discover that the frequent application of suntan lotion in no way diminishes 

: I one's capacity to get it on. 

Койке кеч > FUTURE HIGHS—artide ................... HOWARD RHEINGOLD 150 
You think you've gotten stoned? Just wait a couple of decades until we have 
booze analogs that'll get you off without a hangover and real aphrodisiacs 

PRO FOOTBALL’S MAIN 

ATTRACTIONS—pictorial essay ............. ROBERT BLAIR KAISER 152 
When we set out to photograph pro fcotball's sexiest cheerleaders, we didn't 
know we'd be clipped by the N.F.L. brass. 

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! TEXAS 


lodies Doy - 


162 


TWELVE TOUGH MUTHUHS—artide ........ .. .DAN GREENBURG 164 
Sc you believe that a criminal trial is just like they do it on Perry Mason? Well, 
{огу member Greenburg says you're right. 

FROM HER, WITH STYLE—attire ........... -— - DAVID PLATT 168 
Our pick of the best Christmas presents a lady can give you. 

HOW TO SURVIVE AN AIR CRASH—article ...........F. LEE BAILEY 173 
The renowned lawyer has a number of ideas about commercial-airline safety 
that could save your life. 


VIVA VARGAS!—pictorial .........,.................... 75 
When God created woman, He should only have had a designer like this one. 
P. 164 PLAYBOY salutes the Vargas years. 


GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING, 913 NORTH MICHIGAN AYE.. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 80611, RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCONPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS. DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS SUBMITTED 
jr THEY ARE TO BE RETURNED AND HO RESPONSIBILITY CAN аг ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATENAS. ALL тента їн LETTERS SENT то FATBOY WiLL Be PAE АА nace eee 
ALLY ASSIGNED TOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO PLAYBOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND TO COMMENT EDITORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYPIONT © Таш ey 
PIAYOOY. ALL вигите RESERVED, PLAYBOY AND повіт HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS OF FATBOY, REGISTERED U.5. PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA. MANGUE БРОМ Р NOTIE 1972 oe 
REPRINTED IN WHOLE OR IN PART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANY SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IM THE FICTION AND SEMiICTION I Tuis Meeting 
Аке ANY REAL PEOPLE AND LACKS їз PURELY COINCIDENTAL. CREDITS: COVER: MODEL / ACTRESS FARRAR PHOTOGRAPHED BY CLAUDE NOU 
TOGRAPMY by; i P. 267, 268; MARIO casu . 
ә, 245, 246 (3); DAVIE CHAN, е. 155, їзє: С, Е i 1978 mancr 
ELLISON, P. 139; NANCY ELLISON/ SIGMA, P. 238: RICHARD FELE. P. 3 i (Я 
169: тон GALELLA, Р, 257; MICHAEL GOING, P. 154 (2), 186; LYNN GOLDSMITH, Р, 241 (I); ELLEN GRAMM / SYGNA, P. 237; MILTON н. GREENE, P. 147; ANTONIO CUERREINE, Р. 24e DAVID 


COVER STORY 

“I hove to admit 1 was impressed with her," said Managing Art Director Kerig Pope ofter 
he supervised the Claude Mougin shooting of the fair Farrah. "She's the hardest-working 
model I've ever seen," he continued, "and, believe it or not, she's just as beautiful in 
person as she photographs.” We believe it, Kerig. For more of our cover girl, see page 257. 


TIGHT MAKES RIGHT—pictorial .......... беба 184 
Getting into today’s skintight jeans takes а bit of work, but watching a young 
lady do it is a pleasure. 

TEXAS DRIFTER—playboy's playmate of the month ............... 188 
Down in Austin, Texas, Janet Quist is the prettiest tomato in her garden. 

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor BE M EX Ea a 


EROS AND POWER—-article ..... а MAX LERNER 202 
A veteran White House watcher concludes that it takes balls to be President. 
PLAYBOY'S CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE—gifts ..... Sco en ies 205 
Gear and gadgets for the man who has almost everything. Vivo Vorgosl 


WHO GETS SCREWED IN A DIVORCE? I DO!—arti .ASA BABER 213 
The author finds that, as the popular song says, “I's cheaper to keep her." 
The article is accompanied by Charles Monagan's Divorce Good, Divorce Bad, 
and by Divorce: Women Suffer, Men Survive, by Carl Tunick. 

FEASTING WITHOUT FUSS—food and drink . . . EMANUEL GREENBERG 217 
Hosting a Christmos dinner can be a no-pressure proposition if you know how. 

THE N.B.A. COACHES' CLUTCH-PLAYER ALL-STAR POLL—article . . . 218 
We asked the coaches whom they'd count on to come through in a cruciol 
game, and here are their picks. 

BRIEF ENCOUNTERS—pictorial ... oils e 222 
A perusal of these young lovelies in their lingerie will prove to you once 
again that with some things, less is more. 

PLAYBOY'S CHRISTMAS CARDS—verse .............. JUDITH WAX 232 
Cur annual display of war-headed missives that ought to be sent to famous 
people but probably won't. 

SWITCHING—fiction .............................. TREVANIAN 235 
A bar pickup proves that in the game of sexual chess, it's wise to think more 
than three moves ahead. 

SEX STARS OF 1978—pictorial essay .JIM HARWOCD 236 
The big story is that the new sex symbols are comi rom television and music. 

PINBALL AND OTHER ELECTRONIC INDOOR SPORTS—modern living .. 251 
Games of skill are the latest craze, ond here (including the brand-new Playboy 
pinball machine) are the electronic playing fields we're crazy about. 

THE CASE OF THE MISSING JEWEL—ribald classic . . 

BORN-AGAIN FARRAH—pictorial wo ds ЕЯ 
She's back with the Angels and she's with us іп a 
album of her galactic career. 

THE ROUSING RETURN OF ROMANCE——aricle ................... 266 
Any old jug of wine and loaf of bread won't do these days. Rather than commit 
a tactical error early in the game, read our complete guide to modern romance. 

THE 1979 PLAYBOY MUSIC POLL—music 
Once again, it's your turn to sit in the critic's box and pick the best performers. 

PLAYBOY FUNNIES—humor A . 278 

“SAINT JACK"—Tpictorial essay .. TOM NOLAN 284 
A behind-the-scenes preview of a new film. It's set in Singapore, stars Ben 
Gazzara ard is c joint venture of director Peter Bogdanovich and Playboy. 

PLAYBOY'S PIPELINE .......................-..---.++-...... 289 
Man & work, how to buy a man's fur coat, marriage and the IRS. 

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI ... 

PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE . 


. 254 


x . 257 
terview and a photo 


Quist Watch 


Future Highs Р. 150 
GUNN, P. 3 (2): к. SCOT HOOPER, P. ма, тат; DOUGLAS KIRKLAND, P. 263; DOUGLAS KIRKLAND / CONTACT, P. 236, 259, 261: RICHARD KLEIN, P. а (2), 14 (а), ae. asr; eeu 
Ciel шат; ® tore annie LENOVITE / CONTACT. P. 239, зай; LARRY L. LOGAN, P. VA (5): © 1977 “LOS ANGELES. MAGAZINE / PRO ARTS INC.. Р. 250: GARRICK MADI: 203, 
LATI ct ис BROOM / ECHAVE а ASSOCIATES. P. азе, 289, 260; © ERIE MEOLA/CONTACT, F. 228: CLAUDE МОШ, P. 261; MARVIN NEWMAN, P. 182, 154, 117, 160, 161; TERR 240, 


260; FASCHAL/ MICHELSON, P. 261: P. PATERSON / LIAISON, Р. 261; ROBERT PENN, Р. 
© Jenn meuanoson, P. зка; STEVE SCHAPIRO / TH 


3; PONFEO FOSAR, P- 137) AN RENARD/ күсма, т, за 
WORLD. P. 240. MARK SCHLESINGER, P. 3; EVA SERERY / 5Y0 239; VERNON L. SMITH. P. 3, 4. 16; WAYNE SMITH CO., P. 3: IW 
Sevoth, T. э, DAD STEM, P. 247; DAVID STRICK, P. 4; MARTHA SWOPE, P- 242; ALIXAS URJA, P. 168: AL VANDENBERG, P. 4: ALAIN WALSH, P, заз (1); EVA WEISS, P. 3; BATON MOLMAR, 
Мн рат me CALLUM YORK STOMA, P. 244, DICK ZIMMERMAN, т. (43. P- 189, BOAT а WATER-SKIING EQUIPMENT FROM HAMMOND асат COMPANY. P. 155, SAIL Mi BOAT FROM HOUSTON 
CORRECT CRAFT. HLLUSTRATIONS BY. P. 265. GARY CICCARELLL. P- 266, 168, 265, SHARON KREITELL. P- 266 (3), DON WILSON. P- 267 (2), 268, JONN YOUSSI. I INSTON CARD, BETWEEN 
т. 16.17, SOUTHERN COMFORT POOFLET. BETWEEN 96-07, 296-297, PLAYECY CLUNS INTERUATIONAL CARD, BETWEEN P- 276277 


PLAYBOY 


We love tobacco. 
We dont smoke. 


Walt Garrison 
"For tobacco pleasure without 
smoking, | go for Skoalwith the 
wintergreen taste. It’s the fastest 
growing smokeless tobaccoin 
the world” 


Shep Messing 
“Just a pinch of mild Happy Days 
always gives me the great taste 
I want. It’s also a greal way for you 
to start going smokeless.” 


eu uelit 


HAPPY DAYS 


І FLATORED SMOKELESS TOM 


Carlton Fisk 

“Copenhagen gives me all the rich 
tobacco taste I'm looking for without the 
trouble of lighting ир” 


If you've never tried smokeless tobacco before, we'd like to 

send you a few free pinches of Happy Days. Write to: 

“Smokeless Tobacco? U.S. Tobacco Company, 

Dept. PL128, Greenwich, Conn 
06830. 


Smokeless tobacco. 
A pinch is all it takes. 


©1978 U.S. Tobacco Co. Offer not available lo minors 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
ARTHUR PAUL art director 
SHELDON WAX managing editor 
GARY COLE photography editor 
G. BARRY GOLSON executive editor 
TOM STAEDLER executive art director 


EDITORIAL 

ARTICLES: LAURENCE GONZALES editor; FIC- 
TION: VICTORIA CHEN MAIER editor; STAF 
TERRY CATCHPOLE, WILLIAM J. HELME 
GRETCHEN MC NEESE, DAVID STEVENS senior edi- 

JAMES K. PETERSEN senior staff writer; 
BLUMENTHAL, ROBERT E. CARR, BARBARA 
NELLIS, JOHN REZER associale edilors: WALTER 
L LOWE, KATE NOLAN, J. F. O'CONNOR, TOM 
PASSAVANT, ALEXA SEHR (forum), ED WALKER 
assistant editors: SERVICE FEATURES: том 
owen modern living editor; DAVID PLATT 
fashion editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY 
editor; COPY: ARLENE MOURAS edilor; JACKIE 
JOHNSON FORMELLER, MARCY MARCHI, MAISHA 
MORGAN, SUSAN O'BRIEN, ROSE ORS, MARY ZION 
researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: MUR- 
RAY FISHER, NAT HENTOFF, ANSON MOUNT, 
PETER ROSS RANGE, RICHARD RHODES, ROBERT 
SHERRILL, DAVID STANDISH, BRUCE WILLIAMSON 
(movies) 


OAST: LAWRENCE s, DIETZ edilor 


ART 

managing director; LEN wins, 
senior directors; won vost, skim 
WILLIAMSON associate directors; пыс MAEN, 
JOSEPH PACZEK assistant directors; BETH KASIK 
senior art assistant; PEARL MIURA art assistant; 
VICKI HAINES traffic coordinator; BARBARA 
HOFFMAN administrative assistant 


PHOTO APHY 

MARILYN GRADOWSKI west coast editor; JEFE 
COHEN, JANICE MOSES associate editors; HOLLIS 
WAYNE new york editor; RICHARD FEGLEY, 
POMPEO POSAK staff photographers; JAMES 
Lanson photo manager; BILL ARSENAULT, DON 
AZUMA, DAVID CHAN, NICHOLAS DE SCIOSE, PIIL- 
LIP DIXON, ARNY FREYTAG, DWIGHT HOOKER, 
R. SCOTT HOOPER, RICHARD IZUI, KEN MARCUS 
contributing photographers; PATIY BEAUDE 
MICHAEL BERRY assistant editors; ALLEN BURRY 
(London), JEAN PIERRE HOLLEY (Paris), LUISA 
STEWART (Rome) correspoudents; JAMES WARD 
color lab supervisor; ковект curlus admin- 
istrative editor 


PRODUCTION 
JOHN MASTRO director; ALLEN VARGO man- 
ager; KLEANORE WAGNER, MARIA MANDIS, 
JODY JURGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROLI assistants 


READER SERVICE 
JANE COWEN SCHOEN manager 


CIRCULATION 
RICHARD SMITH director; J. к. ARDISSONE news- 
stand sales manager; ALVIN WIEMOLD subscrip- 
tion manager 


ADEERTISING 
HENRY W. MARKS advertising 


irector 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
MICHAEL LAURENCE business manager; PATRICIA 
administrative editor; TERESA 
hts & permissions manager; MiL- 
RMAN administrative assistant 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISE! 
DERICK J. DANIELS president 


INC. 


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No wonder. 

How often does a car come 
along with the Rabbit's combi- 
nation of engineering, perfor- 
mance, space andhandling? 

And when you realize that 
even General Motors named 

our Rabbit the best of five 

economy cars tested, includ- 
ing one of their own, it's not 
surprising that the Rabbit 

became the best-selling im- 

port in Detroit. 


So you can't blame 
people for trying to make 
their cars look like ours. 

MI But to look like a Rabbit 


isnotto be а Rabbit. 

The Rabbit is available with a 
C.S. fuel-injected engine. The 
copies aren't 

Not all the copies match our 
Rabbit's room. For example, the 
Ford Fiesta has only 2/3 as 
much trunk space as the Rab- 
bit. As a matter of fact, the 
Rabbit has more trunk space 
than a $90,000 Rolls. And more 
passenger space than 35 other 
cars on the market 

And after testing the 13 most 
popular '78 economy cars in 
America, here's what the 
editors of Car and Driver had to 


say: "The Rabbit's total design 
is more astute than that of any 
other car in this test... And 
painstaking year-to-year re- 
finement has made the Rabbit 
good at everything it does.” 

Of course, this excellence 
has a price. The Rabbit costs 
slightly more than its imitators. 
But as the editors so aptly put it, 
"ће Rabbit delivers on the 
investment.” 

Four years ago, other car 
manufacturers bought our 
Rabbits by the dozens. Then 
took them apart to see how we 
did it. Now we're beginning to 


see the fruits of that labor 
One of these days, they may 
even get it right. 


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THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


in which we offer an insider's look at what's doing and who's doing it 


LOWNES TOSSES A BUNNY BASH 


Party of the season in Britain: Playboy Clubs Inter- 
national President Victor Lownes's bash for 300 past 
and present Bunnies, their guests and 100 of England’s 
most eligible bachelors at his Hertfordshire estate, 
Stocks. Wrote the Daily Express’ William Hickey: 
“More parties, please, Victor.” Below, Singing Bun- 
nies Sancha and Joey (soon to go on tour) cut cake. 


The conductor of the Coldstream Guards Band gets set for the Colonel 
Bogey march (above). Also on the program were fireworks arranged by the 
Reverend Ronald Lancaster, who performs the same service for the queen. 


Seen at Stocks: Valli Kemp, ex-Miss World, with Michael Laing (above 
left); Oliver Tobias, star of The Stud, with Lucy Fox, daughter of actor Edward 
Fox (above right). Other showbiz guests included actor Dudley Moore. 


Hol- 
At left, host Lownes in a contemplative mood; above, 
Ringo Starr, who arrived with his ex-wife, Maureen, 
and their children, Zak and Jason. Among the “eligi. 
ble bachelors” were the Marquis of Blandford, 
Charles Greenock and Prince Stash Klossowski. 


THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


THALIANS ENTERTAIN 
AT MANSION WEST 


Playboy Mansion West was the 
scene of the annual salute to 100 
members of The Thalians Presidents 
Club in recognition of their con- 
tributions of $5000 each to The 
Thalians Community Mental Health 
Center. Among those present 
(clockwise, from top left): Mrs, 
Peter Finch, here with Hugh Hef- 
ner; actress Ruta Lee, chairman of 
The Thalians board, with her hus- 
band, Webster Lowe, Jr., and Zsa 
Zsa Gabor, actress Margaret 
O'Brien Thorsen, being greeted by 
her host; actor Cornel Wilde with 
his wife, actress Jean Wallace 
(left), and Presidents Club coordi- 
nator Gloria Luchenbill. Thalians is 
a 23-year-old group of show-busi- 
ness personalities and profession- 
als in business, arts and sciences. 


HEF BOOSTS BROWN CAMPAIGN 


Another well-attended event at Mansion West was the second 
of two fund raisers for the campaign of California governor 
Jerry Brown (below, with Hef and Playmate Sondra Theodore). 


PLAYBOY STAFFERS 
ON THE JOB 
IN SINGAPORE 


On location for Saint Jack 
(see page 284), Staff Pho- 
tographer Richard Fegley 
works with (above, from left) 
star Ben Gazzara, director 
Peter Bogdanovich, Playboy 
Productions Executive V. 
Eddie Rissien and (right) 
Gazzara and Singapore ac- 
tress Monika Subramaniam. 


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THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


COLE AND SAYER 
SCRATCH AND TILT 
Among the games people 
play at the Chicago 
Playboy Club are pool, pin- 
bali and Bunny watching. 
Doing a little of each 
(right) is Michael Cole, 
formerly of TV's Mod 
Squad, last seen in the TV 
flick Evening in Byzantium, 
taking a cue from Bunny 
Susen Minor. Meanwhile 
(far right), singer Leo 
Sayer explains some of 
the finer points of one of 
the pinball machines to 
rapt Bunny Palti Allison. 


SEARCH IS ON FOR SP oe 
PLAYBOY’S ANNIE Wah 
A world-wide search is eS 
planned for the actress — 

who will portray Little 
Annie Fanny in a live- 
action movie to be 
produced by Playboy 
and Sidney Becker- 
man Productions. 
The cartoon fea- 
ture, created by 
Harvey Kurtzman 
and Will Elder 
(now assisted 
by Sarah #7, Ў 
Downs), q 5 

has been 

running in P \ 
PLAYBOY since Ч 
October 1962. 


А 


Ziggy Steinberg 
is set to write 
à the screen- 
= ر‎ play. 
TOP PLAYMATE DEBRA JO GETS HER GRAND-PRIZE DATSUN { 
Playmate of the Year Debra Jo Fondren is beaming because she just took delivery on ў KEN 
her new 1978 Datsun 280-Z from Roberi B. Kent, vice-president of Nissan U.S.A. 4 4 “> 


x 
ә 
WILLIAMSON CITED AT FILM AWARDS ® 


Arthur Morowitz (below right), representing the Adult Film As- 
sociation of America, presents the organization's Media Man 
of the Year plaque to PLayeoy film critic Bruce Williamson. 


WOODY HERMAN RECORDS AT LAKE GENEVA 


Woody Herman's Thundering Herd thundered into Shade Tree stu- 
dios at Playboy's Lake Geneva Resort & Country Club, where Woody 
(center, aided by A&R man Gary Anderson and studio owner- 
16 chief engineer Andy Watermann, cuts a side for Century Records. 


1005: 19 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine, 
KING: 20 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine, 
av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAY 78. 


© 1978 Р. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co. 


FULL: RICH 
TOBACCO FLAVOR 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


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ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBDY 
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919 N. MICHIGAN AVE, 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


UPPERS AND DOWNERS 
Your Sey articles under the 
healing. Drugs "78 are excelle 
PLAYBoY's continuing efforts in the field 
of drug education should be commended, 
especially since most of us feel capable 
of deciding for ourselves the dangers of 
drugs and drug abuse. Proper drug educa- 
tion is the only real solution to Ame 
саз drug problem. 
Pete Johnson, Pharmacist 
Akron, Ohio 


mber 


1 would like to comment on James 


McKinley's article The Pusher im the 
Gray-Flannel Suit (ptavnoy, September). 


Shady doctors ean w 
anything, but an aware pharmacist knows 
the doctors he deals with and will refuse 
to fill questionable prescriptions. As for 
the drug manufacturers, 1 believe we 
need to review our laws controlling them 
and their profits, Still, without such a 
great demand, there would be no need 
for such a supply. 


e prescriptions for 


Judy Lovelee 
Houston, Texas 


The students in my Drugs and Health 
course have just received an added read- 
ing assignment for this semester. 1 am 
referring to Drugs 75. Approximately 
їз ago, you covered the same topic 
while L was an undergraduate. 1 am ii 
«J and pleased to sce that you have 
inued to handle the issue of drug 
in such 


pres 


1 objective n 
Ric 
Bull 


mer 
rd E. Miller 
New York 


anide 
gers of prescription 


l congratulate you on your 
warning of the di 
drugs. In my own case, it's Da 
you mention as a reputed painkiller 
Well believe it! Se does the job and 
awfully easy to get hooked on before you 
I've lost a marriage, my job. 
my health and, worst of all, 


on, which 


is 


my selL-respect. I've been hooked for nine 
years now and 1 am still trying to quit 
АП I'm asking is that anyone who reads 
this and is in the same boat should nol 
be afraid to ask for help, as 1 am finally 
going to do myself. Don't ever let any 
one tell you that you can't get hooked 
on Darvon, because I know better. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Marion, Iowa 


Your September issue is the best ever 
"Ehe article on drugs is well written and 
informative. Under medical uses for 
amphetamines, vou list hyperactivity in 
children. Is that a mistake? Hf not, could 
lain, ple 

Lynn Moller 
Colorado Springs, Colorado 

No mistake, Lynn. Amphetamines have 
been found to have a tranquilizing ef- 
fect in certain cases of hyperactivity in 
children, 


you ¢ е? 


1 just finished reading your articles 
on drugs, T am a pharmacist and 1 com- 
puted the price of the bottle of cocaine 
in my store to your figures. Th 
that the boule for which I p: 
vorth over 35 billion doll The co- 
ne weight is 7.09 grams. IF these 
s ате correct, here is one pharmacist 
whose price has been met. Come on! 

С. F. Wolfisch. 
Cheektowaga, New York 

Apparently you missed the point of 
our little joke concerning reported street 
values of drugs. But you might be inter- 
ested lo know that your $20 bottle of co 
«aine can be worth as much as $1500 
when cul and dispensed on the street 


advocated pot smol 
among other thi 
able. | sometimes have the feeling that 
you endorse these things because they 
are illegal. Besides, who are you to decide 
how people choose to relax? Why should 


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PLAYBOY 


22 


you condemn a person who takes Valium 
AMERICA NEEDS instead of smoking pot? Instead of trying. 
to be all know 1 all-telling, why not 
try to be more objective? 

Gary Cundiff, Pharmacist 

St. Petersburg, Florida 
. PLAYBOY has newer advocated the use 
of any drug. Recognizing the fact that 


Herman SURVIVORS® large numbers of people take them is 


The genuine made-in- nol the same as advocacy, a point that’s 
Maine boots with the lost continually on many legislatures. We 
famous quality craftsman- have, on the other hand, advocated the 
ship, tough good looks, and decriminalization of drugs such as mari- 
never-say-die durability. juana that have been shown lo be less 


Accept no imitations. harmful than previously thought, but 


NET certainly never because they were “fash- 
none can copy our stan- tonable. 

dards. We've had nearly 

100 years’ experience STOPPING THE RED MENACE 


building boots to protect 
your feet in warmth and 
comfort through water, 
snow, mud and rough 


m writing to comment on a cartoon 
that appears in the August issue. It por- 
trays one man shooting another man and, 
in my opinion, its caption is very anti- 


AR for SURVIVORS. gun. I am informing you that T will no 

They're worth the search. longer buy PLaysoy duc to that cartoon. 
, For more information. 1 take my hunting and basic Ame 

write to the Joseph М. tights very strongly and any firm, person, 


Herman Shoe Co., Dept.78, — | etc, will be роубулей by ШЫГ 
е , 3 усоцей by myself and my 
Millis, MA 02054. family. Unless Pravnov apologizes to me 


e 
gu Ss directly and to its readers, there will be 
d «ОТ по more PLAYBOYS in my house. I am 
М 
Boots 


also writing to local newspapers and radio 


that sta opinion, of your com- 
H апу put on the air. My stepfather will 
never say die. |P» p" y stepfather w 


also spread the word about rLAvsov 
through outdoor column in the 
Niagara Gazette and his night school 
. B teaching class. We don't need a bunch of 

ee ae More kids wish for liberal bullshit like your mag: When 
r Carter gets us into another stupid war 

and the Commies are at your back door, 


А oss stereophones than vin ro gg Sle orl 


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an other headphone. ELI be? Anyone who is concerned about low 
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Audio Expert, North Pole ownership should boycott any and all 
individuals and companies that are anti- 

gun. Bye, bye, ттлүвоу, 

Timothy J. Heyden 

Buffalo, New York 

That's going out with a bang, Tim, 


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STALLONE ALONE 
Your September interview with Syl- 
vester Stallone is truly an all-time great. 
I've seen the movie Rocky six times and 
I am convinced that Sly Stallone is the 
most remarkable and gifted actor that 
the Seventies have produced. His т; 
toriches story is truly an inspiration to 
anyone who has ever wanted that mil- 
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Send a one-year 
subscription to: 

(please print 

Address Ap. 
City — Siate Zip. 


Send unsigned gift card 10 me 
Send gift card signed: From 
Enter additional subscriptions on separate sheet 


Please complete the following 


"Based on $25.00 vearly newsstand price 
Regular subscript 


514 а year, 


es only 
VL qM subs. 513, 


Mail vour order to: 


PLAYBOY, РО. Box 2420, Boulder, Colorado 80302 


Or for Faster Service 24 Hours 


а Day, You Can Order by Phone. CALL TOLL-FREE 800-621-1116. i inis, coll 00972 


My Name 
please print? 


Address 


City 


Choose either 

A, the Playmate of the 
Year Card featuring 
Debra Jo Fondren, ог 
B. the Playboy 

Rabbit Card, 

10 announce your gift 


Circle preference here: 
r 


A B 


State Zip \ 


Card B. 


PLAYBOY 


26 


magazine. No one really cares what 
s à clown like him tick. Bring back 
responsive journalism—how about an 
teresting, for a 
Raoul Duke or 


Russel Willi 
Baton Rouge, Louisiana 


PAIN IN THE NECK 


Gothic kudos for Gal тз 
article on Dracula Country (PLAYBOY, 
September). His prose captures the 


“wholesome memory of Vlad the Impal 
er, the remarkable distasteful choice for 
Romania’s national hero. 

Michael Hayko 

Los Angeles, California 


Gahan Wilson writes a fine mood arti- 
de on his exploits in. Dracula Country, 
but he unfortunately continues in the 
vein of many authors who, when they 
write about Transylvania, can only pre- 
sent it as а land of dark foreboding, 
populated by simple-minded folk at the 
mercy of their monstrous superstitions, 
It is sad t the true tapestry of Tr 
syly s not show 1 its ancient 
autocithon inhabitants, the Szekely- 
Magyars, recognized for their contribu- 
tions to humanity and their efforts to 
мор the perversity of Vlad Tepes, the 
Wallachia n nation: 

Robert Rill 
Los Angeles, Calitornia 


PARADISE FOUND 

Upon purchasing the September issue 
of vtavwoy, | couldn't help but notice 
the enticing delights of Rosanne Kato 
Lord! Гуе been regularly drooling over 
the pages of erAvmov for some three 
years nd this is the first time that 
1 can recall seeing а black lady featured 
nate (though you've no doubt 
n featured at one time or 
other). Well, just let me state uneqı 
cally that 
more black women don't grace the pages 
of your magazine (your only true fault), 
ed. you gentlemen 


now 


Miss September 1978 is one of the 
most beautiful, if not the most beautiful 
woman who has ever graced your c 
fold. The flawless beauty of her ski 
lovely brown eyes, the perfectly shaped 
позе and that most sensuous pair of lips 
just too much for one person. to 
endure. 


Skip Geldnei 


all my 
life? Hats off, as the saying goes, to Ma 
Саші, Only he could 


у, grace and. ch; woode 
n so few photos. 
Jey PC 
Kelso, Washington 


ladders to view the campus and 
Providence in the black of night. It's 
somewhat. casi the door is left wi 
locked by à thoughtful predecessor, buc 
the thrill of hiding from Campus Securit 


If Rosanne Katon and her two sisters ty police is always there. Yes, the Ivy 
are in amy way indicative of the magni- League has its simple pleasu 
tude of beauty that to be scen in Norris Lee 


J ‚ then my decision as to where 

to vacation has been made. Providence, Rhode Island 

hard Robertson It seems there's more to those towers 

Silver Spring, Maryland [han meets the eye. Thanks for ringing 
Well leave the tour touting lo the our chimes. 

Jamaica Tourist Board. As far as we're 


ARTHUR REX 

Anhur Rex, by Thomas Berger 
(rravmov, September), should be an ex 
cellent novel, if the excerpt is any in 

ication of the rest. But by far the best 
in the September issue is the Frank 
Frazetta painting, My only complaint is 
it should have been a two-page fold. 
out or spread, not part on the 
part on the back. Let's do better 
timc. 


and 


ext 


Barry К. Hunter 
Baryon Magazine 
Rome, Geo 


Your First Look at Arthur Rex is the 
best story I've read since Tolkien's Lord 
of the Rings series 


Scott Worley 
San Pedro, California 


MULTISEX. FIEND 
The short story in your September 
issue Sex and the Triple Znar-Fichi is 
terrific. I love authors wii 
tion, and Arthur Rosch һа 
I read, the more I chuckled. In 
rather erotic. ГА love to meet СІ 
а good party. Especially after copping 
buzz. Wow! Please give us more of Rosch 
in the future. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Hardeeville, South Caroli 


concerned, Rosanne and her sisters have 
а home here for as long as they want. 


TOWER POWER 
You blew it this time pLavuoy! The 
Jennie McGraw Tower is as much a sym- 
bol of Cornell as your impish Rabbit is 
of PLavnoy. Its chime concerts serenade 
the campus every day and visitors from 
around the world climb its stairs. Thus, 
we at Cornell were astounded to see the 
September picture on Northeast campus 
fashions of somcone else's tower, labeled. 
with our Jennie McGraw's name. The 
€ is particularly unbelievable since 
е McGraw Tower appears in 
another picture on the sume page: the 
difference between the two is obvious. 
How сор you do this to us? 
Nancy J. Van Deryees 
Cue antes сч К е man ук Ша iver 
Cornell University PLAYBOY, ve never laughed so hard. 


Ithaca, New York so ERG nd so continuously as I did in 
i 


PRICK SHTICK 
Im writin 


this note to ask how 
ing after his bout with the 


investigativ 
“ 


rs into 


ne withheld by request) 
lelphia. Pennsylv: 


Your customarily precise jour 
slipped in September. "That tower on 
page 114 is not part of the Cornell 
campus at all It is Carrie Tower of 
Brown University and the site of ma һу 
спіог adventures. Despite school regula- 
tions, practically a. Brown ritual to 
crawl down the nearby manhole, through 
а 304001 mud tunnel and up steep 


Че, W; 


I have found two typolaffable errors 
your article on the Chartham Exten- 
sion Course for underdeveloped peters 
When you speak of a foolhardy re 
cher road-testing a dong-clongatci 


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surely you mean to refer to rod-testing 
by а researcher who was toolhardy? 
Forrest J. Ackerman 
Hollywood, California 
On the contrary, this ex posé of a mem. 
ber extender was written by an editor 
who is every inch a genitalman. 


NATURAL WONDERS 

My roommate and I drove the West 
Coast from Los Angeles to Vancouver 
ong the 


ind he took this picture 


Oregon coast. We didn't notice anything 


unusual until wc had it developed. We 


thought you might be interested 
Charles Gustafson 
Brian Ritchey 
Alhambra, California 


Here is a picture of the Playboy 
Rabbit shown 


a way 1 have never scen 


before. It is the end cut of a northern 
nesota aspen log. You can't fool 
Mother Nature. 


Brad Pollard 
Grand Rapids, Minnesota 


WHERE ARE THE WINNERS? 
Ever since your August issue, I've been 


rd to reading the results of 
1 Annual Humor Competi- 
tion, but thus far there's been no word 
on it. What's the poop? 


Carl S. Collins 

Waterloo, Iowa 

The poop is that we received 
thousands of entries and we're still 
painstakingly screening them for our dis- 
tinguished panel of judges. So far, the 
results have been good and we'll present 
them to you in a forthcoming issue. Slay 


tuned. 
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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


DOES LENGTH MATTER? 


It is a question that has been asked 


by countless men and countless women 


in countless songs, movies and novels 


How long can our love last? And now, 


finally, someone has an answer. He is 


Professor F. B. Meeker of Californi: 
State Polytechnic University and he, in 
the interests of love and science, re- 
cently studied 105 men and women, 


between the ages of 18 and 43, whose 
romances had just come to an end. And 
in conclusion, the professor found that 
the average length of the average aflair 
was 14 to 15 months, 

Still, though all his subjects’ affairs 
had ended, Meeker found that fully 9 
percent expected to fall in love again, 
“Like dope," the profesor decided, 
"love is an addiction in our society. 
There's probably as much time lost to 
lovesickness as to hangover 


ALIFE OF LOVE 

Our correspondent Ken Krippene, 
world traveler and world-travel writer, 
reports on а much-sought-after job in 
the Kikuyu tribe in Kenya, a job whose 
litle is simply that of professional love 
seeker. Seems that the Kikuyu, largest 
of Kenya's several tribes, are ardent be- 
lievers in black magic and witchcraft, 


and their magicians—with their love po- 
tions und. elixirs—pley an integral part 
in the love lives of the Kikuyu people. 
As to those magical specialists who hold 
the title of professional love s 
well, let Krippene lell about them. 

The qualifications for a 


ker— 


love secker 
re highly unusual. The applicant must 
denounce all personal property—includ 
his highly valued cattle, sheep and 


s—and he must also such 
physical attributes 
make love to as many women 
y of his life 


the professional 


go possess 


s will enable him to 


he pov- 
When 


love 


sibly can each d 
pproached by 
man would d 


resist his 


seeker, no w 


services; in Lact, in every village he visits, 


girls of all ages and description, married 
or single, cluster around him, begging 
to be the object of his unbridled magical 
passions. "This attitude is best under- 
stood in terms of the love seeker's status 
holy man" among the Kikuyu—a 
status that means that his favors are not 
only greatly stimulating but blessed. 

Before a man can become an official 
love seeker, however, he must—in the 
presence of а doctor—forever 
renounce all worldly possessions; after 
doing this, he is taken out into the bush, 
where he falls to his knees and proceeds 
to place his head into the opening of a 
hyena hole. The witch doctor stands 
behind the applicant and asks if he is 
ready to “pursue gluttonously the art of 
love in the same manner as the hyena 
devours human flesh.” 

When the young man answers affirm 


witch 


ively, the witch doctor smartly smacks 


his buttocks several 


times with 


containing special (and supposedly mag- 
ical) herbs and leaves designed to assure 
perpetual potency. Then a beautiful 


young girl from the tribe kneels down 
behind the applicant and deftly tickles 
his scrotum with a chicken feather, until 
his penis is in full erection; the witch 
doctor then orders the novitiate to arise 
and face him and, pointing to his elon- 
ied member, solemnly declares (loose- 
ly translated from Swahili): 

"Your heart shall be as wide as the 
sky. You shall have as many girls to 


love are stus in the heavens. 
With 


go forth and love most arduously! 


as there 


your sword of always alert, 


love 
From that moment on, the love seeker 
roams the countryside, dressed in a short 
loincloth 
ing а long staff, with his body painted 
with magical symbols. 
life d figu 
cherries, as he sleeps and sleeps and 
sleeps his way among the 1,000,000.plus 


women of the Kikuyu tribe ol Kenya. 


GOOD HEAD | 
On a Philadelphia Daily News law 
column, regarding the matter of whether 
or not a builder (Mike) could remove 
a building erroncously constructed on 
someone else's property: 
TION RULED NO LONGER HIS TO HOLD." 


WIN AT BLACKJACK 
АП the way to Las Vegas—on TWA 
flight 711—we di 
to drill ourself on the technique we 
the mock 


nd plumed headpiece, carry 


The rest of his 


is a literal ative bowl of 


“MIKES ERE 


alt out blackjack hands 


would use in 
first-ever World Championship of Black 


dry run of the 


jack. The real tournament is to be held 
at Las Vegas’ Sahara Hotel in Decem- 
ber; our dry run was held at the same 


hotel this past July 

At the Sahara, we met the directors 
of World Championship of Blackjack, 
Inc., three guys from L.A. who spec 
in packaging Ideas Whose Times Have 


31 


PLAYBOY 


32 


Come (previously, such TV programs as 
Dealer's Choice and Bobby Van's Fun 
Factory), “Blackjack is the biggest reve- 
nue game in Nevada and there's never 
been a tournament until now," said 
director Duke Rolf. “The modern era 
when a Cali- 
fornia mathematics professor, Edward O. 
Thorp, used à computer to invent a sys- 
tem lor beating the house. Thorp di 
covered that, as the ratio of nontens to 
the deck drops, the player’ 
prove; he also showed how a 
са in order 
to determine when the odds were good 
crease the bet. 

“When horp's Beat the Dealer came 
out, Vegas freaked. They changed the 
rules and kicked out counters whenever 
they spotted. the bet 


nough to i 
8 


guys who 


мо dol d and 5200 on 
the next Pretty soon, though, Veg 
realized that Beat the Dealer and the 


other books actually helped them. Guys 
in Keokuk read the books and show up 
thinking they k the bank: theo- 
тегіс they but realistically— 
ads and free 
ks and girls walking around— prac 
lly nobody concentrate 
enough to count." 

We asked. another. tournament. direc- 
tor, Dave Fishman. what sort of person 
plays blackjack. "Blackjack appeals to 
players who don't want to de: h the 
complexities of poker. But it's not strict- 
ly luck. The key to success in blackjack 
is money management 

“This tournament is for everyman. 
Anyone can play and anyone сап win. 
Entry fee is only $250 and you have a 
5500 buy-in. First prize is $50,000 and, of 
course, you keep everything you win. 
Anyone except professional blackjack 
players and authors of blackjack books 
п enter and we invite counte 
ment was played ac 
ng to the same rules that will be 
used in the re: ng December 17 to 21, 
һ one notable exception: The house 


ly, 


can, 
with all the noise and 


dr 


hard 


can 


W worth of mock chips. We played 
for 20 minutes and when “kist hand 
announced, flagrant money mism 

ment and a charming but distressi 
ler had eliminated all but your 
correspondent and two others, 

able stakes, We 
atural blackjack and the two 
Tough luck. IL ouly it 
vent, we would have 


was 
nage 


dy w 


s» went bust 
the real tourn 


wer 


› the 


dled 
I beaten us, but we h 
ther. players, 


to $225. 
d 
n equivocal 


dy been 


Lona 


IF YOU CAN'T LICK "EM... 

The following item is reprinted in its 
entirety from the bulletin of the Chica- 
“Joseph Berkas 
given an absolute discharge alter he 
had explained to a a 
he had rushed into the bedroom of 
landlady's 2L-yearold daughter. ripped 
away the towel with which she was cov- 


examination of her bottom. A keen phi 
Імем, he said he had left а valuable 
foreign sta ing in the bathtub. 
And it had di 


QUOTES OF THE MONTH 

e the toilets? 
ive a taxicab? 
с stop tortur 
е deliver my body to my famil 
—Enuies in a Sp 
book publ 
Union of Journ: 
r's World Cup soccer m 


ists for reporters cover- 
ches 


CLASS STRUGGLE 
1 Marx only analyzed class struggle. 
Berell Ollman invented, copyrighted 
and patented it. Ollman's Class Struggle 
is a board game—the first Marxist board 
—and it sells for SII. п, 
who teaches politics at New York Uni- 
versity and belongs to no poli 
says he invented his 
been rather depressed Гог m 
that games like Monopoly, Rat Race and 
Easy Money promoted greed and power 
trips. 1 wondered whether it was pos 


ative propa- 
point of the game is to cok 
lect more assets and fewer debits than 
the time the revolu- 


by 


38.) 


псе cards—onc for 


and two piles of Ch 


the capitalist and one for the worker, If 
the 


lands on а Chance 
hi pick up a card reading: 
s become a follower of 


capitalist pl 
e, he m 
son | 


Reverend Moon and your daughter is 


ises 


hooked on heroin. So what good is 
your money? Worrying about it all 
you to forget your next turn at the dice.” 

other card says: “Rockefeller gets 
photographed giving people the finger 
10% not wise to let people see what cap 
nk of them, Miss a turn 
you think of new ways 


at the dice w 


10 fool the people.” 
The workers Chance cards penalize 


slips you one of his debits for relying on 
the opium of the masses") and reward 
him for his militancy: “Together with 


your fellow workers, you have occupied 
your [i nd locked your boss in the 
ists miss two turns at the 


ly revolves around mak- 
ces between classes. While the 
capitalist and the worker are the central 
players, farmers, students, professionals 
and small-businessmen are represented as 
well. Building coalitions makes the game 
much morc complicated and forces all 
players to think strategically 

The humor in the game is all inten- 
tional. Inventor Ollman believes that it 
is a way of “getting the radical comments 
listened to: Even those who are put olt 
by the politics might appear ridi 
if they put up а stink, When the 
gets our to the wilds of Indiana 
some American Legion post pl 
well, 1 hope they have fu 

So far. Cl le has caught on 
faster than ОП ned, and Class 
Struggle, Inc, initially just a cott 
dustry, has been compelled to g 
for muss production, "Business is u 
vific,” the professor says. “What cam 1 
sav? Capitalism is full of contradiction 
We glimpse success ahead.” 


с: 


lous 


GOOD HEAD II 

A prominent real-estate y 
Jy advertised its transcontinen 
nections thusly in the Milwaukee 
Sentinel: "MILWAUKEE & MIAMI HAVE ONE 
THING IN COMMON: HEAD & SEEMANN. 


THE ZODIAC SIGN 
A number of the items that appear 
h month in these pages, as well as 
the pages of The Playboy Forum and 
Sex News, on h the Zod 
que media facility 
erculture version 


wi 


ice, a 


mounts to a cou 
of the Associated Press and U 


ited Press 
wire services. Five days a 


week, Zodiac sends out a 


six-page packet 
g from serious ac 
ment misdeeds to the 


of news items г; 
counts of Goveri 


OLDS TOBACCO со. 


©1976 A, REYN 


People ре 
I really enjos 


cause my cigarette is Salem. Salem Gives bg 

d Ш of the flavor I want from a cigarette, plus 

sal fresh е) Isn't it time you enjoyed Salem? | 7 А 
* Enjoy. Salem Flavor. ay 


p 


eet 


i TA , 

| : Mrs 3 8 Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 

| «N66 mp. "tar, 1.1 mg. nicotine, 100's: 19 mg. "tar", vs A That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous toYour Health. 
13 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAY 78. Rex А З 


A 
С; 


PLAYBOY 


34 


off-the-wall items that the Zodiac staff 
refers to as "bizarros.' 

This entertaining and informative 
product is produced by a four-membei 
staff working in a brick building in San 
Francisco's south-of-Market district, an 
area know for its drab factories and col- 
orful bums. Zodiac owner and cofounder 
Jon Newhall assures visitors that the 
Tattered gents patrolling outside are not 
the physicists, anthropologists and other 
“reliable sources" whose astounding dis- 
closures are Zodiac staples, 

Basically, we rely on three sources 
Tor our items," says Newhall. "First, and. 
most important, is our loose network of 
string dio-station staff members, 
freelance writers and ordinary people 
who keep up on the media. We arc 
Iways happy to get new members of our 
stinger network, and pay ten dollars 
for each item we use. 

"Our second source is the р 
we receive in our olfice—maga. 
newspapers, science and trade publica- 
Uons—and the third source is the stories 
that we develop ourselves over the 
phone. There aren't as many of these, 
but the phone stories are invariably 
the most important on any giv п day." 

The inspiration to turn our society's 
daily deluge of information into. an 
underground wire service, says Newhall, 
occurred during the rough-and-tumble 
war-protest crt of the late Sixties. “Un 
ound newspapers were making a 
lot of wild accusations, some of which 
ned out to be truc. Zodiac was set up 
to sercen those stories and send them to 
radio stariony and other establishment 
a that were more concerned with 
ity than with sensationali 

But that was then and, says Newhall, 
“Zodiac has changed along with society. 
We now concentrate on the news that 
the establishment media tend to over- 
look, misinterp poscly 
We do a lot on power, medicine 
human behavior 
get wide pickup 


tions 
nes, daily 


LEAKS АТ THE CIA 

И we can accept the word of ex-CIA 
officer Victor Marchetti, the Viet Cong 
had it all over us in the Vietnam w 
in more ways than one. According to 
Marchetti, the CIA implanted a series 
of electronic sensor Cross Vietnam, 
designed to detect the slightest hint of 
human traffic and so inform the U.S. 
of the number of gues movin 
south. Among the sensors, says Marche 
ti, were urine detectors; and when the 
Vict Cong discovered these. he contin 
ues, “they urinated all over them and 
we would get estimates that two billion 
Viet Cong were coming soutl 


THE DISASTER DETECTOR 

Once, Evanston, Ilinois, was an un- 
distinguished Chicago suburb noted 
chielly for being the national headquar- 
ters of the Women’s Christian Temper- 

nce Union. Today it is renowned as the 
site of the world’s only allsteel, custom- 
manufactured, one-off, multipurpose Dis- 
aster Detector. The detector stands its 
sofarsilent 24hour vigil in the back 
yard of ilie home of William J. Helmer, 
who аз à commu 
nity service and in response to his wife's 
comment, "You boughr all that damn 
welding equipment, so go weld son 
thing." He did, and today he values his 
invention at 510,000, the estimated 
amount by which it has reduced neigh- 
Dorhood property values. 

We heard of this contraption through 
our vast network of informants. and 
since this monument to paleotechnology 
was only a six«dollar cab vide away, we 
decided to inves c. What the hell? 

It was а Tuesday, and we roused the 
inventor bed е 
he grumpily called “the crack of noon 
He offered us а beer and 
breakfast and was well into 
of how bene 
ing jou 
to demonstrate 


out of 


w 


persuaded him. 
Disaster 
just relax under 
that mulberry tree and we can drink 
beer till a disaster comes along.” After a 
bit of cajolery, he agreed to a test run, 
nd we learned that the detector w 
deed, а most sophisticated device that 
functions quite independently of outside 


his Detector. 


power sources. Once its triggering de- 
vice—a giant rattrap—is set and prop ly 


connected, it works something like this: 
+ Floodwaters deeper than two fect 
would cause a toilet float to ri 
+ An earthquake of any great magn 
tude (such as the one in San Francisco 
in 1906, for instance) would set à gimb 


mounted pendulum to swinging: 
+ The heat wave of a nuclear blast 
would melt a copper wire, causing a cast 
iron windowsash weight to fall and a 
camshaft from a 1912 Cadillac to rotate: 
+ A tornado passing directly overhead 
would (pr ply) cause the entire ma 
chine to lift at least onc foot off the 
aut a heavy chain 
staked into the ground and connect- 
ed to the mechanism. 
Should any of those events occur, 


the 


trap is triggered by the va 
ous linkages in the machine to release 


a croquet mallet, which rings a large 
gong. Not only that but as the mallet 
sweeps toward the gong, it strikes yet an- 
other triggering device that causes a 
rod-mounted, sheet-steel, spring-loaded 
American flag near the top to turn up 
side down into the distress position. We 
sked Helmer, “So? 
o then, upon hearing the gong. I 
rush out of the house and crank this 
siren—to alert the neighbors. Then 1— 
look here—I pull this knob." 

The knob was part of a flexible cable, 
like those installed in cars to m 
control a choke or a throttle: i 
case, however, it cawed а spring-loaded 
lid to open on а metal box attached to 
the Disaster. Detector and con 


pint | 
pulled 
tin bo: 

“What wc have here iy the only me 
of coping with the kinds ol disasters that 


this Disaster Detector detects: 
As we turned dow 


another offer of a 
beer and a banana and took our leave, 
we said, “Gee, Mr. Helmer, but youre an 
awfully clever fellow, You should be an 
editor for PLAYBOY." 

And he said, “I already are one.” 

That was ue, and we left Helm 
his post, ringing the gong. crank, 
siren, sampling the Southern Comfort 
and shouting to his neighbors, “This is 
only a test! This is only a test! 


MAIL CHAUVINISM 
Letters we never quite got around to 
Shing (this from the American Mu- 
seum of Natural History): “Dear Re 
Who has five eyes, turns from gre 
brown when the leaves turn. and 
mate lor dinno 


TREND OF THE MONTH 
What to get the jetseui 
drenched sheik who has everything 
cluding trouble telling directions): 
automatic. Mecc of course 
vented by imaginative Dutch 
the compasslike gizmo has the na 
150 cities around the world engraved in 
Arabic on its face: the traveling sheik 
simply turns the cc 10 magnetic 
orth, sets the dial on the name of the 
city he is then visiting and—voilit—a 
le arrow points the way to Mecca. 
‘That should bring ‘em to their knees. 


finder 


mes of 


pat 


226) BO Ouse pue "uj 'Binqe3usiNT] ' o2 BUNISI OML 204 S169909 


Quality, pre- d 
you'd be proud to 


cocktails Each one serves two. Just open 
your own. A and enjoy. From 25 to 40 proof. 


COCKTAILS FOR TWO" 


35 


ВООК$ 


[o опе has yet figured out what hap- 
N pened to all the American Indians 
who used to be here Many, of course, 
died of white men's diseases to which they 
had по resistance. The theory that the 
rest were deliberately massacred i 
and docs have some substantiation, 
but somehow it presupposes a calculated 
cllort that is distasteful to contemporary 
Americans. Douglas C. Jones, in his new 
historical novel, А Creek Called Wounded 
Knee (Scribner's), offers a more palatable 
explanation and, in the end, a more 


popu- 


plausible one. 

The novel chronidles the Jast few 
weeks before the pivotal confrontation 
of the Dakota Sioux and the U. S. Caval- 
ry at Wounded Knee. It is told from the 
points of view of the Indians, of the 
soldiers and of the ragtag group of news- 
paper reporters sent to cover the move- 
ment of the Indians as they are bounced 
from reservation to reservation. When 
the three elements come together, we see 
a matrix of superstition, misinformation 
and confusion—plus a total lack of com- 
munication, 

The Indians, for example 


с con- 


vinced by their medicine men that their 


"ghost. shirts” will stop the bullets of 
the soldiers. The soldiers, being wholly 
unfamiliar with the ways of the Indians, 
re mostly scared. Finally, the reporters, 
drunk and unable to get the facts 
straight, fill in the blanks with stories 
made up for sensation-hungry 
pers back East. It is no wonder. then, 
that when the smoke clears, nobody really 
knows what happened. We are left with 
the equivalent of a no-fault holocaust, 

Adding to the believability of this 
theory is Jones's precise narrative, drip. 
ping with authenticity, Hallway through 
the battle, one to shout, "Wait, 
But it's too late. 
ve learned what it means 
10 go up against bureaucracy, technology 
and the mass media. And, as we know, 
there are no winners in that game. 

. 

If you pick up a copy of John Up- 
dike's new novel, The Coup (Knoph), ex- 
pecting it to be peopled by the Rabbit 
Angstrom and Piet Hanema types of 
Updike's previous works, you're in for 
the surprise of your Ше. In fact, if the 
author's name had been er ased and you 
were asked to guess who wrote it, the 
name John Updike would not come 
readily to mind. The book is a consid- 
erable departurc—and a fascinating one, 
t that, It concerns the small sub-Saharan 
state of Kush and its wily dictator, Colo- 
nel Hakim Félix Elleloû. Having led the 
revolution that deposed Kush's constitu- 
tional and French 
colonialists, Elleloü. reigns with an iron 
fist tempered by three parts ma 


newspa: 


wants 
there's been a mistake 
The Sioux h 


monarch ousted its 


gnanimi- 


Wounded Knee: Lo, the poor Indian. 


A tragic triumvirate: 
Indians, the U.S. Cavalry and 
8 voyeuristic press. 


Orient Express derails. 


ty. Due to circumstances beyond his con- 
famine the land, the 
rainy season has been dry, the natives, 
in short, are growing restless—Elleloü 


tola ravages 


is in danger of being usurped himsclf. 
Elleloa, who was educated at a small 
Midwestern university, despises every- 
thing American and. in the face of fam- 
ine, rejects the American aid that arrives 
at the Kush border, His imposible 
dream is to return. his small nation to 
the clean simplicity and beauty that 
existed there prior to the influx of West- 
cm culture; his nightmare, which be- 
comcs rcality under his very nose, is to 


sec his country sprouting McDonald's, 
Dairy Queens and hotdog stands, Prog- 
ress marches on and ЕП, ove 


thrown, exiled with but one of his four 
wives to the south of France, where every 
afternoon he sits in a café penning his 
memoirs: this book. And a splendid hook 
it is. The prose is cloquent and elegant. 
full of insight and wisdom, wit and 
charm, poetic and philosophical. It may 
very well be Updike's masterpiece, 


е 
Orient Express; The Life and Times of 
the World's Mos! Famous Train (Random 


House), by E. Н. Cookridge, begins with 
a dull sentencc—"The invention of the 
engine and its adaptation to a 
mechanical device that could move from 
ht about social and 
economic changes in the history of man 
kind comparable ıa the 
wheel at the dawn of the Stone Аве" 
and continues in that textbook style 
through some 277 pages of rehashed his- 
tory, stale gossip and sketchy biography 
of the late lamented luxury train, 

Having neither the wit nor the energy 
of other writers on the same subject 
(Graham Greene, Paul Theroux, Agatha 
Christie), Gookridge makes the Orient 
Express sound like the milk train from 
Newark to Trenton, He condenses pre- 
vious scholirship into chatty chapters 
without listing his sources. He fills us 
with trivia we don't need то know. Worst 
of all, Cookridge tells his tales in the 
ponderous tone of an aging squire sip- 
ping port. If your mapping of the route 
changes for the Orient Express over thc 
past 90 years is not up to date, then by 
all means read this “history.” Otherwise, 
you'd do well to forget it. 

" 

Richard Price has churned out a book 
every two years since he was 24, He is 
now 20 nd his latest, Ladies’ Man 
(Houghton Mifllin), is a grim novel about 


a 30-year-old going through a life crisis 


steam 


place to place broug 


advent of the 


It may be one ol the best descriptions 
yet of his generation. The book has some 
excesses, but to describe them would just 
sound as though we're jealous of Price's 
talent and insight. Which we are. 
0 

Six ^w. Rise and shine. Put on your 
Adidas running shoes, the ones with the 
Porsche Turbo Carrera spoiler on the 


этди 


Devin.The country fragrance for men. Rich. Relaxed. Fresh and unhurried. 


IN A BMW. THE DRIVER IS NOT ASKED 
TO COMPENSATE FOR THE 
SHORTCOMINGS OF THE AUTOMOBILE. 


Like all honeymoons, tl dured rather than something to be An approach that begins with 
first few months of own- | enjoyed the concept that, above all, a car 
ership are generally a period Perhaps because of our long in-| must function as one with its driver 
adjustment volvernent їп motor racing—where YOU DRIVE A BI 

A time when man accommo- | such an antagonistic relationship IT DOES NOT DRIVE YO 
dates himself to the idiosyncraci would be intolerable—we at the When you drive the BMV 
of his machine—those little quirks | Bavarian Motor Works in Munich, | for the firs 
of engineering that can make the Germany, take a wholly different ence a Curious s 
act of driving something to be en- approach to building automobiles. part of the car itsel 


A North America| 


The extraordinary п 
Point International race course. Note as ti 
front wheel, while the 


jected engine responds without lag 

Its four-speed manual trans 
mission (automatic is available) 
slips smoothly and precisely into 
each gear. 

The suspension—independent 
onall four wheels, with MacPherson 
struts and eccentrically-mounted 
coll springs in front, serni-trailing 

ms and coil springs in the rear— 
lows each wheel to adapt itself 


ad-holding ding ability of the BMW 


'O is graphically illustrated 


quic kly and clea ly to every driung 
and road condition 
Extensive biomechanical re- 
search has been conducted into 
| the critical relationship between 
t location, visual position, steerir 
and controls 
Instruments are clearly visible 
and illuminated at night by an opti- 
Cally beneficial orange light; 
controls are readily accessible 
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r van. 


I can't understand it. ME. 
Melvin Dimsdale! An ovemight 
Sensation! That Dimsdale wit 
and charm finally came shinin’ 
through! It's like they say 
when you've got it flaunt 

“What you hear ladies is the 
first completely matched high 
power, low distortion hi-fi sys- 
tem designed exclusively for 
the road!” Clarion has dozens 
of combinations to choose from 
...mine is a high performance 
АМ/ЕМ stereo cassette with 
a 30 watt five band equalizer 
booster and a pair of 3-way 
hi-fi speakers. The whole 
System cost me under $400! 

I guess when they start askin’ 
"Mel...what's your system!” 
"Il have to tell ‘em Clarion— 
It's like а concert in your van.” 


back to keep your heels down at high 
speeds. Head out to the park for your 
daily five miles. In minutes, your body 
is warmed up, alpha waves are breaking 
against your forehead. like i surf, 
your breathing sounds as if you're audi 
tioning for the Darth Vader sound track 


and your legs feel as if a drunken jazz 
musician is playing 
Achilles’ tendons, Welcome to the r 
of the injured, if not the brain-dama 


ass rums on you 


Our advice: Head home. Take two as- 
pirins and curl up with The Sportsmedicine 
Book (Little Brown), by Gabe Mirkin and 
Marshall Hoffman. You'll feel a lot ber- 
ter, you'll know what you did wrong and 
how 10 prevent its happening again. 
Mirkin and Hollman do for running 
(апа other sports) what Masters. and 
Johnson did Гог sex. Theirs is an own- 


ers manual for the human body that 
explains the basics (how your muscles 


work, how to train, what to do when you 


hurt yourself) in terms that even an 
th 
stuff. Keep a copy in your locker 

. 

After reading the daily paper or 
watching the evening news. we c 
blame armchair detectives for wishi 
to trade the cares and toils of todav's 
world for the cozy, firelit, fog-shrouded 
sitting room of 221-B Baker Street, Lon 
don, 1895, and Sir Arthur Conan Dovle's 
two immortal creations, Sherlock Holmes 
and Dr. Watson. But the 56 short stories 
and four novels Doyle wrote about his 


е сап understand, This is the real 


illustrious pair have been shoved 10 the 


back of the library shelf to make way 


for an infinite food of Holmesi: 


pub. 
lished in the past several years: cook 
books, reference works, a 
collection, biographies of Doyle and — 
following in the footsteps of Nicholas 
Meyer's highly successtul The Seven 
Per-Cent Solution and The West End 
Horror—enough pastiches to sink the 
illfated cutter Alicia, which “sailed one 
spring morning into a small patch of 


limerick 


mist Irom which she never emerged.” 
Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracule (Doubleday), 
subtitled “The 
guinary Count," by Loren D. Estle 
is not exactly somethi 


Adventure of the San- 


п 
you can sink 
your intellectual teeth into, but it docs 
ding. The 
er's famous 
nd aboard a foun 
ship whose only cargo is a dead 


afoot when Bra lood 
sucker arrives in Eng 
devir з 

crew, some boxes of earth and а hu 
black “dog” that bounds ashore and 
disappears. The dog, of course, is Count 
and the landscape is soon lit 
tered with his blood-drained victims. If 
you finish Dracula with а thirst. for 
more gore, there's The Last Sherlock Holmes 
Story (Pantheon), by Michael Dibdin, 
which opens in the n of 1888, 
when Jack the Ripper prowled London's 
East End, butcheri 
taunting Scotland 


Dracul 


awu 


prostitutes and 
rd to “Catch me 
There are bloody good 


when you can." 


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42 


reasons why Scotland Yard can't catch 
old Leather Apron, whose true identity 
is revealed hallway through the book. 

Exit Sherlock Holmes (Scribner's). by 
Robert Lee Hall, is a well-written ac 
count of Holmes's last days, which are 
spent in an ultimate confrontation with 
his archenemy, Professor Moriarty. H. 
Paul Jellers' The Adventure of the Stalwart 
Companions (Harper & Row), on the other 
hand. finds Holmes and Teddy Roose: 


velt teaming up 10 prevent the asasina 
tion of Rutherford В. Hayes. And by 
the time you read this, Randall С collins’ 


The Case of the Philosophers’ ing (Crown) 
should be in the bookstores. We're told 
that its plot involves Holmes, Watson 
and Bertrand. Russell's joining forces to 
save mankind from some hideous scheme 
of Aleister Crowley's 

The Return of Moriarty ind The Revenge of 
Moriarty (Putnam), by John Gardner (not 
the [oh ner), arc both available in 
Berkley Medallion paperbacks. In Ke- 
turn, Holmes again is pitted against 
Professor Moriarty, the Napoleon of 
Crime, who's plotting to or 
ropes underworld into a single giant 
web of criminality. There's no honor 
among thieves, however, as in Revenge 
Moriarty re-emerges to bring retribution 
to the criminals who double-crossed him 
in Return. But Moriarty's ultimate aim 
is to cut off Holmes's cocaine supply and 
bring the sleuth into public disgrace. 
Will this villain stop at nothing? Appar. 
ently not, for a third Moriarty book is 
currently in the works. 

The Adventure of the Peerless Peer (Dell) 
is the stuff that pulp magazine stories 
were once made of. Philip José Farmer 
who lists himself as the American age 
for the estates of Dr. Watson, Lord Grey 
stoke, David Copperfield, Martin Eden 
and Don Quixote, is the book's "editor." 
‘The year is 1916; Holmes and Watson 
are in dai ching the Ger- 
man spyma - The Peerless 
Peer referred to in the title is none 
other than Lord Greystoke, who, of 
course, is Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle. 

Not all readers of Sherlock Holmes 
know that Conan Doyle also wrote doz 
ens of other stories well calculated, as 
they say, to keep you in suspe 
of Terror and Mysery (Double: 
13 such pieces, a number of them being 
published for the first time in America. 
And none, for a change, 
lock Holmes. Another collection of Vic- 
torian tales, Rivals of Sherlock Holmes 
(Castle), is not to be confused with The 
Rivals of Sherlock Holmes, a mixed bag 
of vintage detective yarns collected. by 
Hugh Greene, Graham Greene's brother, 

1 published in 1970. Castle's Rivals 
cludes 40 stories of crime and detec- 
tion reproduced as they originally ap- 
red in popular Victorian magazines. 
the book seems to have been 
remaindered the same day it went on 
sale, its low price (55.05) is a steal. 


t 


nce 


The New York 
wrote that chael Harrison 
‘knows more about Sherlock Holmes 
than any man alive.” We're not about 
to quibble. Harrison's 1, Sherlock Holmes 
(Dutton) was preceded by 7n the Fool- 
steps of Sherlock Holmes, The London 
of Sherlock Holmes and The World of 
Sherlock Holmes, among others. / is a 
first person recollection covering the ten 
years when Holmes first met Watson in 


ate Callendar 


M 


the chemical tory of St. Bar 
tholomew's Hospital, until 1891, when 
Holmes disapp three years, pre- 


sumably having perished when he and 
Professor Moriarty plunged into Switza 
Jand’s Reichenbach Falls. The book is 
for serious Holmes bulls who have al- 
ready devoured Doyles Holmes. stories 
t to read an entertaining 
5 by Holmes of his complex 


and now w 
self 
personality 

As your Baker Street library expands, 
you may wish to add a Sherlockian refer- 
ence book or two to your collection, 
possibly as an aid in settling bets over 
such trivia as what type of snake killed 
Julia Stoner in The Adventure of the 
Speckled Band. (1t was a swamp adder.) 
Jack Tracy's The Encyclopedia Sherlockiana 
(Doubleday) is one of the best Sherlock- 
ian reterence books available, as it 
alphabetically documents virtually every 
important and inconsequential subject 
and person in the stories from A (while 
copying the Encyclopaedia. Britannica, 
Jabez Wilson spent cight weeks with this 
letter in The Red-Headed League) to 
Zoology (The Stapletons in The Hound 
of the Baskervilles had strong tastes for 
botany and zoology), 

Another ambitious reference book, 
The World Bibliography of Sherlock Holmes 
end Dr. Watson, by Ronald De Waal, is a 
monstrous, slipcased 526-page tome oi 
inally published by New York 
Graphic Society lor S60. (Is now avail. 
able in а reprint minus the slipcase from 
Bramhall House for 510.) De Waal de- 
scribes his opus as "a comprehensive 
record of the various appear 


periodicals, newspapers and books of the 
Canonici tales—and Apocrypha written 
by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle between 
1887 and 1927, together with the transla- 
tions of those tales into 50 languages, the 
higher criticism, or writings about the 
writings. the films, musicals, plays, radio 
and television. programs, phonograph 
records, parodies and pastiches. and а 
multitude of other items that have 
accumulated throughout the world on 
the two most [amous "fictional charac 
ters of all time.” It also makes a handy 
doorstop. 

What in heaven's name else could be 
written about this illustrious pair? Well, 
there's Dining with Sherlock Holmes (Воі 
Merrill). by Julia Carlson Rosenblatt 
and Frederic Sonnenschinidt, a culinary 
treatise of Victori ^ dar 
superior to its only competition, The 
Sherlock Holmes Cookbook (Drake), by Sean 
Wright and John Farrell. A book of 
verse, Asimov's Sherlockion Limericks (The 
Mysterious Press), by Isaac Asimov, with 
a front-cover illustration by Gahan Wil. 
son. Two Potter Publications, The Sherlock 
Holmes File, by Michael Pointer, and The 
Sherlock Holmes Scrapbook, edited by Peter 
Haining. (The lormer is a collection of 
Holmes miscellanea pertaining to his 
many appearances onstage, in films and 
in advertisements; the fatter is а collec 
of Holmes data gleaned from news 
Paper clippings, magazine articles, eic.) 
Ruth Taker Tepper's the Sheduck Holmes 
Crossword Puzzle Book (also Potter), 

tining 21 pencil chewers and the 
solutions. In addition, yet опе more 
biography of Doyle has surfaced: Sherlock 
Holmes and His Creator (St. Martin's). by 
Trevor H. Е the play Sherlock Holmes, 
by William Gillette and Doyle, has been 
republished by Doubleday; and Pad 
dington Press has just come out with 
The Doyle Diary: The Last Great Conan Doyle 
Mystery, thats nothing less than a full- 


m recipes t 


con 


color reproduction of the diary Sir 
Arthur's father, Charles, kept during his 
years in a lunatic asylum. Was he really 


mad? Read the introduction by Michacl 
Baker and decide for yoursel 

Now in public domain. the characte: 
of Sherlock Holmes no longer is just a 
child's rainy-day companion or a noble 
symbol of intellect and. the triumph oi 
right over wrong for adults—he is a 
merchandisable commodity and it’s ele- 
mentary that his name spells money 
Furthermore, the Holmes craze shows no 
signs of abat Even coi Iposition. re- 
productions of the 19" x 17^ sculpture 
that illustrates this roundup—Holncs, 
in his familiar Inverness cape and deer 
stalker, kneel 
through a 


ig to examine footprints 
gnilying glass, while Dr 
Watson looks on—are available from the 
sculptor, Rich sloski, 91 Lannis 
Avenue, Newburgh, New York 12550, 
for $75. We may be nearing the end of 
the year 1978, but for some people it is 
always 1805. 


Walkers Dome, British Columbia, Canada 


Canada at its best. 


Enjoy the light, smoot 


h whisky that’s becoming America’s favorite Canadian. 
Imported Canadian Miste 


A BLEND. 


43 


44 


ton spent several years 
ing second billing to ha 
tner, a gritsand-greens. country 
nger named Porter Wagoner. Pop 
singers such as Linda Ronstadt and 
Emmylou Harr 
most of their audiences had never 
heard of her. Eventually she split 
with Wagoner, fired her backup 
band and set out to sell records to 
pop audience. Her first crossover LP 
brought her a modest hit—Here 
You Come Again—and her second, 
Heartbreaker (RCA), is a atout push 
for more. The cover features Dolly in 
pink lace displaying a bit of thigh. Com- 
pared with, say, Donna Summer, it’s 
pretty tame stuff, but in the world of 
country music, where it is still de rigueur 
to close every show with a hymn, it is 
positively incendiary. Inside we get ten 
gles. Any of them, with a bit of luck, 
might catch. The sound is L.A. studio: 
elaborate horn charts, strings, backup 
singers and conga drums, but there is 
lot of country in Dolly yet. She takes a 
dip into disco (Sure Thing), but she 

ances that with a song of tribute to 
her dad (The Man) that would sound 
just right coming from the stage at the 
county fair, The crowds of musicians 
backing her never overwhelm her. She's 
in charge on every tune, a singer explor- 
ing a new style as much for artistic as for 
commercial reasons, 

e 

Classical guitarist John Williams has 
done а lot of recording and can always 
be counted on to come up with some- 
thing a litde different each time he goes 
into the studio. John Williams and Friends 
(Columbia) is no exception. The program 
contains works by Vivaldi, Telemann, 
Bach and Mozart, and the inspired part 
is the adaptation of those works to in- 
dude а marimba/yibraphone continuo. 
The arrangements are by Brian 
Gascoigne, who makes you a firm believ- 
er that the compositions are perfectly 
suited to those modern-day instruments, 
Williams, of course, is splendid, but, 
then, you knew he would be, 

E 

Doc Watson has finally recorded. Un- 
dey the Double Eagle. The old march 
has been the show-off piece for country 
guitarists of the acoustical persuasion for 
decades, but Doc has eschewed recording 
й. Now that he has laid it down on 
vinyl. the vest of the boys can hang up 
their flat picks. This is how it's supposed 
to go. He takes it at a moderately fast 
tempo, lively but slow enough to let us 
savor what he is doing to the melody. 
Counuy impro is essentially a 
decorative art, a matter of produ 
iations on the tune rather than an 


Williams & Friends. 


Dolly Parton keeps on crossing 
over, Doc Watson does a 
Country classic to a turn, 

Mike Bloomfield is blue and 
Sammy Hagar is unhorrible. 


A different Doc Watson. 


exploration of the harmonic structure 
like jazz. Nobody can execute this sort of 
solo better than W; look Away 
(United Artists), featuring Double Eagle 
along with ten other tunes, displays an 
artist at the height—so far—ol his pow- 
ers. Rooted in the music of his mative 
Appalachians, Watson has established а 
style that Jets him be as eclectic as he 
likes without submerging himself in his 
borrowings. He can move casily from 
Dylan (Don't Think Twice) to Anglo- 
American ballads (Gypsy Davie) to Fif- 
tics-style country (You Two Timed Me 
One Time Too Often). He can sing up a 
storm backed by one harmonica or by 
whele group of girl singers. There is just 
nobody else in American music like him, 
. 
А Jewish boy from Oak Park, line 
returns to his roots: first generation elec- 
Michael Bloomfield heard the 
blues while growing up around Chicago. 
He became the most athletic guitarist of 


son. 


tric blues. 


his generation, went on to play vari- 
ous kinds of rock and now has come 
ck to the old ways on an epony- 
mously titled album on Takoma. 
The label has long specialized. in 
illuminating some of the darker cor- 
ners of American music. On this 
record, Bloomfield is given a chance 
to cut loosc on classics from tlie real 
old days (See That My Grave Is 
Kept Clean) and from the early 
city blues (Sloppy Drunk). Worki ng 
mainly with just bass and drum 
backing, he is free to display his 
legendary guitar prowess and a surpris 
ing mastery of blues singing styles, And 
if you think that gays just now cime out 
of the musical closet, listen to Women 
Loving Each Other. (They ain't thinkin’ 
bout no man.) 


. 
Rock ‘n’ roll ain't dead yet. In spite 
of all that Saturday-nightatthe«disco fal- 
setto Bee Gees crap, Sammy Hagar is 
still out there playing loud, raucous, 
frantic, pull-out-thestops rock "а" roll 
Recording live in places such as San 
Antonio and Santa Cruz. Hagar and his 
very loud four-piece band allirm the ide 
that you can still make music that's all 
emotion, still play songs people can 
dance to without learning any steps. АЙ 
Night Long (Capitol) will make you feel 
good, give you an energy boost. It has 
попе of the tuneless self-conscious empti- 
ness of the punks, You don't need a 
safety pin through your cheek to play— 
or listen to—the real thing, Hagar is a 
delightful reminder of the days when 
rock "n' roll scared. people, when district 
attorneys got injunctions against this sort. 
of stufi. Turn it up a little louder, 


. 
Whether by instinct or by condition- 
seem to prefer 


ing, most peop their 
music couched in familiar rhythms and 
harmonic structures, There are those who 
still believe, however, that. avant-garde 
music—those strangely shaped sounds 
from the noncommercial nether world 
where “jaz” and “classical” people re- 
luctantly meet—will eventually find. its 
own audience, if given the chanc 

Among them are Arista Records and ve 
n producer Steve Backer, who over the 
t few years have helped composer 
and multi-instrumentalist Anthony Brax 
ton develop a reputation as the Suavin- 
sky of the new chamber jazz. His new 
composition, For Trio (Arista), is called 
that because the veal title, a diagram 
that looks as if it had escaped. from a 
geometry classroom, is unreproducible 
(It's the only LP among recent “new 
music” releases that is on the parent 
label; the rest bear the Arista /Novus 
imprimatur.) The fragmented music 
therein, which is partly improvised and 


The cigarette 
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More is longer and burns slower. So you 
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45 


“SLIM” Rolling Writer? 
only from 


© 1978 Pentel of America. Lid. ® Pentel 
and Rolling Witer are registered 
trademarks of Pentel Co.,Ltd. 


partly scored, will not be as readily ap- 
pealing to nonaficionados as Braxton’ 
recent big-band experiments but will fas- 
e his s and devotees of music in 
bstract. Similarly, Muhal Richard 
Abrams’ release, Lifes Blinec (Arist 
vus), is heavy stuff, despite a [ew satiric 
touches, and the bits of Gospel piano 
thrown in by Abrams, а resourceful k 
boardist, will [rustrate anyone who'd 
to hear more of the same. While Brax- 
топу and Abrams’ musicians play а stag 
gering variety of things, the musicians of 
Air stick pretty much to а sax-bassand- 
drums format on Open Air Suit (Arista / 
Novus: their music, which seems Or- 
nette Coleman-influenced, is a bit closer 
to most mainstream conceptions of jazz 
than that of their colle gues, Then there 
is Oliv Lake, whose Life Dance of Is 
(Arista/Novus) doesn't deserve to be 
shackled by the avant-garde tag: Change 


One jumps from a free format into a 
hard-rocking reggae beat that's thorough- 
ly convincing (when the harmonica solos, 


you could swear you were listening to 
War), while Comous and Shn-Ful have 
hard-cooking jazz beats and recognizable, 
if somewhat spicy, chord structures. Also 
likely to win a few [ans is Baird Hersey 
К The Year of the Ear, a high-energy H- 
piece group whose aptly titled Lookin’ for 
That Groove (Arista /Novus) keeps shifting 
neatly between free-form passages and 
rock-influenced grooves: Greedy, in Lact, 
5 for all the world like the James 
Brown band on an a 
. 

Terry Callier has a voice that can roar 
like a lion or purr like a kitten, and he 
writes songs that go а step beyond what 
you're used to hearing. On Fire on Ке 
(Elektra), he gets help from some blue- 
chip talent, including Minnie Riperton 
and Eddie Harris, who gets considerable 
solo space. The result is a big, beautiful 
sound to match Callier's thoughtful songs 
and complement his moods. African Vio- 
let and Butlerfly are pensive ballads; 
Holdin’ On (To Your Love) chugs along 
іп а romantic groove; Be a Believer starts 
like a folk song and turns into stone 
Harris funk: Disco in the Sky gives 
t lighthearted genre an ironic dimen- 
and Street Fever is rock "n' roll that 
must have been etched with batiery acid. 

. 

In conversation, Michael Henderson 
likes to imagine scenes and imitate 
ccs. When he tells you. how. Miles 
is wooed him away from Stev 
Wonder He went right up to him and 

1 gonna take your bass play 
—he docs a wonderfully hoarse im- 
personation of the great trumpet playe 
who was his boss for seven years, And 
when he н 


nes а record-company ex- 
ecutive someday telling him, "Th. 


your last record, get out, we want 
Bootsy,” he lapses, Richard Pryor style, 
into a whiteexccutive voice 


Its what you expect from someone 


whose songs tell stories about people— 
nships, as he puts it—and whose 
singing features a variety of voices. 
Voices that the 26 sld Detroite 
feels he has more under control than 
previously on his new LP, In the Night 
Time (Buddah). 

The material on the album- -sp 
ballads (4m 1 Special), comfortably 
paced dance tunes (Take Me I'm Yours) 
and а taste of hard rock (Happy)—will 
not surprise Henderson's fans, but it has 
a new and bigger sound that he frankly 
feels is more competitive. 

M anybody knows, it is Henderson. 
he first hit the road at 14, he has 
layed bass with the best, and not on a 
look-hear basis. Seven years with Miles 
Davis. Five years, on and oll, with Stevie 
Wonder, during which he became the 
hottest thing on the circuit: “One n 
King Curtis was in the place, and Joe 
Cocker, and Miles Davis, and they were 
all checking me out; they all wanted 
me for their gigs. 

It was with drummer Norman Con- 
nors, however, that Valentine Love and 
You Ате My Starship brought out Hen- 
derson as a songwriter and vocalist. 
Many people first thought it was Con- 
hors singing on the records, but that 
n't slow down Henderson, who quick 
ly established himself as a pop star 
with his boyish good looks, posit 
vibrations and formidable blend of 
writing, singing and playing. 

He has had no ditheulty producing 
more romantic songs, partly because he 
keeps having experiences to sing about, 
partly because his artfully structured 
lads come easily to him on his bass 
(‘Ive never needed a piano, ‘cause 1 
can play all the chords") 

In an era of throwaway funk, He 
deron is trying t0 write songs that 
people will sing ten or 20 years hence, 
“when it's gonna be even more expen. 
sive to live where you now. 

But, of course, just to keep everybody 
happy—himself inctuded—he'll continue 
doing his share of high-powered dance 
tunes: "D can't ignore the disco audi 
ence and the funkiteer audience, be- 
y 26 myself. You know? 
¢ are guys writing that funkatcer 
who a lot older tl 

сли 


SHORT CUTS 


Wilson Williams / Up the Downstairs (ABC): 
m Cooke-ish soul ballads and a couple 
of party tunes; not deep, but they sure 
are smooth. 

Switch (Gordy): Pretty music that 
doesn't say much but can't help but sell 
add Switch to the new generation of 
Motown stars. 

т. 


5 


» Ше (RCA): Hard-charg- 
B with the harsh tones of big city 
с the anger of Shortchanged makes 
the tenderness of 7 Found Му Way all 
the more believable 


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First, something older and better. A thick brush filled with hot water. Whisked 
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Worked vigorously into the face to set up your beard for a close, effortless shave. 
Then, something newer and better. New Kandn Natural Formula After Shave Balm. Actually 
formulated like the natural components of your own skin. Massaged into the skin to soothe 
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48 


ho watches out for your morals 
every time you step inside a movie 
theater? No one at all—unless you live in 
Maryland. But if you do live in Ма 
land. why, then, you need have no fear; 
Mery Avera—Saint Mary. they call hei 
t Mary the X-Rated Стапа, 
ever on the alert. 
The state of Maryland, you see, sup- 
ports—at a cost of $70,000 a year—the 
ion's last film-censorship board. And 


andchildren, 
h on Sunday, makes a hell 
of a bowl of spaghetti . . . and she 
watches dirty movies for a living. 

It is she who personally screens every 
feature film, trailer and peep-show short 
offered for distribution in the state. It is 
she who makes winning points at the 
state legislatures annual. del 
bill to kill the Maryland Stat 
Censors, to send it to that ру ated 
theater in the sky. И is she, really, who 
keeps the board rolling, as it has since 
1916, doing God's worl 

^ former bail bondswoman from a po- 
litically prominent family in Baltimore's 
Hollins Market section, she thought the 
job was a political plum when she ac 
cepted it in 1960. She soon learned to 


take her task seriously. 
Т only get $4500 а year for watching 
I this garbage,” she says, "but Fd do it 


for nothing 


s long as I knew I could 
reach people. I think the word censor 
upsets the public, but Т know from all 
the complaints we receive that people do 
want some control. You know what I say 
when I this place every Fri- 
of this garbage? T say. 
“Thank you, Jesus" But somebody has 
to do it.” 

This is how she does it: Except [or 
wsreels, every film—lrom G to Ха 
distributor wants to show in a Maryland 
theater must first be submitted to the 
board. Mary herself watches them all 
up to буе films a day, some 500 a 
year—in the board's small Baltimore 
office. H she spies someth she doesn’t 
like, she calls in the two parttime male 
censors for consensus. If the board 
grees that she's found something objec 
ng to the state law's inter- 
‘contemporary community 
standards" the distributor is told no 
dice, Most accept the board's decisi 
they cither delete the offending passages 
hdraw the film: Cut or quit (A 
team of inspectors pops in on theaters to 
see that cuts stay cut.) Occasionally, the 


diswibutors argue. The board, repre 
sented by an assistant state attorney gen- 
eral, takes them to court. The board 


ually wins. Banned in Maryland. The 
public is spared. 
In the recent past, Maryland citizens 


Censorship's alive and well: 
Maryland's matron of morals. 
loves her job—unfortunately. 


have been spared seeing а man have hı 
penis cut off, a group of мо; 
and dismembered and a n 
push her way through a gigantic bowl of 
pasta. They've missed entirely such shows 
as Dicktator, Fly Me the French Way, 
Penis Pump Parade, The Prick & Pizza 
Party, Sherrie and Her Blonde Pussy 
апа, of course, Deep Thioat, Mary, nat- 
urally, had to watch them all fist in 
onder to decide they were garl: 

Deep Throat she had to watch six 
times. “The distibutor kept t ng to 
Bet it by," she explains. “He submitted 
it three times with different cuts, but that 
one—if he cut it from here 10 kingdom 
соте, he wouldn't have gotten it by me 
He'd have had a newsreel." 

Her decisions, Mary says, based not. 
on her personal taste but on how the 
courts can be expected to rule. If it had 
been up to her, Pretty Baby would never 
have passed (it did, but over her objec- 
tions): “They have a 12-year-old. girl in a 
house of ill repute and they auction her 
off. A virgin. Do we need this? I mean, 
do we really need films like this? 

“It upsets me no end that there's al- 
most nothing I can do about violence, 
unless it’s sexrclated. Nothing I can do 
about language—any word gocs, and it 
gets worse all the time. Fellatio, cun 
nilingus—I didn't even know those words 
when I took this job. Deep penetrating 
sex is out. Full-length intercourse is no 
good. But if they have two nudes in hed 
making love and they just show half the 
body, we can't do anything about 


p do with the rejects, the ones tha 


— 


Some of the films she's forced to let 
through set her off more than others 
“There was onc," she recalls, "where 
the aliens come to America and they go 
to a big factory and the workers are 
making penises—all shapes and all sizes. 
Would you believe this? And they're 
boxing “em. I was wondering what they 
are cut 
or damaged. some employee must take 
“em home And I had 10 release it, 
because there really is a factory like this; 
Thad no choice 
“And we had onc m 


le in Ttaly about 


а mad butcher, Whenever he had ап 
argument with somebody, he'd cut ‘im 
up and sell you the meat. I wanted 10 


hold that, but it’s OK as far as the law 
goes because it's not sex 

To be a movie star today, you have 
to be an acrobat, the positions I see them 
in. I keep telling myself it can't get any 
worse, but it does every year. | asked а 
doctor once, the objects that women in 
these films insert in their bodies, don't 
k they cause cancer? He said yes 
Sex is beautiful, it's part of lile. And 
the way its being portrayed today, with 
women inserting objects into themselves, 
it's just unbelievable. These girls in the 
they're degrading women, they 


yout 


movies, 
degrade everybody.” 

Maryland's Maron of Moves (as Vari 
ety called her) h mies. 
Her friends, she says, think she should 
head for higher office. “I've been told by 
not one or two but many that I could 
run for mayor here and win," she boasts, 
“But I'd never dream of it. Listen—l do 
what a person should do at my age: I 
go to church." 

Her enemies say her idea of а fun 
evening is то watch Mary Poppins and 
make cocoa. To which Saint Mary re- 
plies: "Well, I never look at Mary Pop- 
pins and I hate cocoa. 1 make spaghetti 

Га not a prude. The Lord made wa- 
ter into wine—I believe you can have a 
glass of wine to drink, you can dance 
but. . .. Do you ever go to parties where 
they strip and you pour whipped cream 
on one another and start licking it off? 
lve never been invited to a party like 
that. In the movies, they do it. That's 
why I never buy whipped crc: 
more. | never buy a lot of th 
had a film about a woman, and the 
couldn't satisfy her. You have to excuse 
me, "cause 1 really don’t talk dirty, but 


he was using an ear of corn to mastur- 


bate h 
ton and wh 


hen he pressed her belly but- 
t do you think came ou 


Popcorn. Do you believe that? Do vou 
believe these scriptwriter 


I amt 
There's so 


sick? We're living in a sick worl 
even cat zucchini anymor 
many things I won't cat no more. 


— DAN CARLINSKY 


TheTurkish Affair. 
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OR ON THE ROAD), 
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їз not our habit to accept unsolicit- 

ed manuscripts for “Playboy After 
Hours,” but we couldn’t resist bringing 
you this cautionary tale submitted to us 
by an Australian reader who, on a visit 
to the U.S., left more than his heart in 
Sen Francisco. Understandably, he 
wishes lo remain anonymous. 

It was a cold October evening as the 
cable car neared its terminus on Market 
Street after a fun ride from Fisherman's 
Wharf. Over the gripman's frenzied bell 
danging, I could hear the conductor an- 
nounce the “tenderloin area” and, along 
with a throng of tourists, 1 jumped off, 
thinking Га have a look around before 
walking back to my hotel. The area in 
question, as you may know, abounds in 
adultmagazine stores, topless shows and 
shops advertising GIRLS, GIRLS, CIRES. As 1 
strolled past one such venue, a gangly 
youth (who was pimply and may have 
been a pimp, too) stopped me and asked 
whether 1 would like a girl for a mere 
$90. Actually, he didn't say that in so 
many words but, rather, insinuated 
discreetly, Although he beckoned me 
side to discuss details with “the hostess, 
І was not really interested and walked 
on—right into the arms of his competitor 
next door. This time, for some reason, 1 
was under the impression that the joint 
was offering a strip show, so I allowed 
him to pass me on to the hostess, а tall, 
attractive black girl who offered me the 
choice of a girl on the premises for $30 
(induding private bath) or а girl of my 
choosing in my own hotel room at $50 
for one hour. Having never before been 
propositioned, I was somewhat flattered 
and curious. Unfortunately, I showed my 
interest by asking for such details as ex 
actly what the girls would be prepared 
to do. “Anything you wish,” was the 
reply. What is the chance of catching 
something? “No chance unless you al- 
ready have it yourself, ‘The girls are 
checked every week.” Is it legal? “Not 
exactly, but the city turns a blind eye." 
What do the hotels think? “Oh, they 
don't mind. We can go into any hotel in 
the city limits, including yours.” 

By this time, I suppose a streak of 
masculine vanity had been touched. 
Wouldn't it be a daring thing to do, just 
once? "OK," I said, "show me the girls" 
im and signed a $50 traveler's 
ng I was pretty well set up 
for the night. 

"Any identification? Driver's license?" 
With some amusement, 1 produced a 
credit card and the hostess duly made a 
note of the number. 

‘While Kim was getting ready, the host- 
ess returned, “How would you like to 
have two girls?” she asked with a grin. 


What happens to an innocent 
visitor to San Francisco who 
pays $200 to have his ashes 

hauled and winds up with 
an empty ice bucket. 


“Two at once—you like the idea? Two 
girls for two hours.” Pure greed was now 
tempting me. Visions of the three of us 
cavorting in naked merriment danced in 
my head. What the hell. In for a penny, 
in for a pound; my hand trembled as I 
signed another traveler's check. 

So Kim, Anna and I took a taxi to my 
hotel. The girls were in their late 20s, 
attractive, well dressed and in no way 
looked like tarts. We exchanged names 
and indulged in mild chitchat and I 
began to like them a little. That was a 
mistake. When we arrived at the hotel, 
the girls, to my horror, marched straight 
up to the registration desk and boldly 
gave my name and room number. Not 
an eyebrow was raised. 

On the way up to my room, Kim and 
Anna kept saying we were all going to 
have a great time together: they'd make 
it really good for me. So far, my $100 
had merely served to get the girls to my 
room, but I didn't suspect anything as I 
hastily took a shower and toweled myself 
dry while Kim and Anna settled down 
to watch television. 

“Let's have a drink, Kim said, "a 
Courvoiser for me.” I phoned room 
service, only to be told that no drinks 
were served after 11 т.м. Soft drinks 
were also unavailable, so Kim had a 
markedly unromantic glass of water and 


phoned their boss, Cathy, to tell her 
where they were. 

By this stage, I thought we ought to 
be getting down to business, so I lay 
down and asked for a back massage. The 
girls complied, rather halfheartedly, and 
began to explain that they would receive 
only 12 percent of the money paid so far. 
"Wouldn't I like to give them а tip? I was 
quite upset to realize that my $100 was а 
mere deposit, which, in fact, guaranteed 
no action at all; I was even more upset to 
discover that by a tip each girl meant 
another $50. After some bargaining, we 
agreed on $25 apiece now, and another 
$25 if I wished them to stay beyond the 
prescribed two hours. I signed another 
traveler's check (the first I had ever 
signed in the nude in the presence of the 
recipient; little did 1 know it was not to 
be the last). By then I had parted with 
$150 and had received nothing in return 
for my investment save an inexpert, 30- 
second back rub. 

“All right,” I said, "let's get on with 
it" This produced a few caresses of the 
thighs and legs before the phone rang. It 
was Cathy, who wanted to know whether 
or not the girls would be home in two 
hours. Oh, if I paid the other $50 now, 
they said, they would stay all night and 
we'd all have a ball together the whole 
night long. Anna gently touched my 
penis. “We'll look after this both inside 
and out,” she promised. We argued, but 
I ended up by signing a fourth $50 
traveler's check. 

At last, the girls seemed ready. They 
called Cathy to tell her they were staying 
the night. Anna unzipped her slacks and 
slowly took them off to expose a pair of 
very sexy black frilly panties, We sat 
close together on the bed. 

Then Kim said she wanted a glass of 
ice water and asked if she could go down 
the hall to find an ice machine. She col- 
Jected two glasses and a plastic ice con- 
tainer provided by the hotel and headed 
toward the door. She paused. “I'll need 
some help carrying this" In a daze, I 
watched Anna zip up her pants as if in 
slow motion. Jokingly, I said, "Don't run 
away,” as the two girls walked out and 
closed the door behind them. Minutes 
passed. In my nakedness, I couldn't run 
Out after them, so I stood with my eye 
glued to the peephole, hoping, desper- 
ately hoping they would return, Finally, 
numb with disbelief at my own stupidity 
and anger at other people's dishonesty, 
and with my masculine pride thoroughly 
bruised, I put on some clothes and 
walked down the hall to the ice machine. 
There on the carpet in front of the ele- 
vators were two glasses sitting side by side 
in a white plastic ice bucket. 


49 


50 


MOVIES 


eter оу, as Agatha Christie's mas- 

ter sleuth Hercule Poirot in Death on 
the Nile, boards a luxury steamer to see 
the ruins of ancient Egypt and solve a 
multiple-murder case with the help of 
David Niven. Bette Davis, Mia Farrow, 
Maggie Smith, Jack Warden, Angela 
Lansbury, Jon Finch and just about 
everyone else in the star-studded cast on 
this cruise harbor a motive to kill the 
spoiled, filthy-rich heiress (Lois Chiles) 
who is honcymooning with the man 
(Simon MacCorkindale) she snatched 
from Mia. Comparisons with Sidney 
Lumets deluxe Murder on the Orient 
Express, produced by the same team, are 
not merely invited, they are all but un- 
avoidable. For true Christie buffs, Mur- 
der has the edge. Although Nile is 
souped up with flashes of wit and funny 
business for some of moviedom's most 
incurable hams (a nod to playwright 
Anthony Shaffer, who wrote Sleuth), 
director John Guillermin came to this 
job from Towering Inferno and King 
Kong, which may not have been the 
ideal preparation for a tongue-in-cheek 
spoof. Death on ihe Nile is an uneven 
exercise in style, but what's the differ- 
ence? It's a series of elegant picture 
posteards edged in blood, easy on the 
eyes and made to be taken lightly, if at 
all. Smith. Davis and Lansbury get the 
best lines, and the ladies are a trip in 
themselves—a three-piece band of un- 
holy terrorists oozing bitchery through 
the land of Tut. 


° 

Winner of a Best Actress award at the 
1978 Cannes Film Festival for her 
role in Claude Chabrol's Violette, Isabelle 
Huppert displays the virtuosity to justify 
her reputation as one of the fastest- 
rising stars in French cinema. Last year, 
as the emotionally passive and ilkused 
heroine of The Lacemaker, she was g 
ing us only modest samples of what she 
can do. As remorseless Violette Nozitre, 
a Borgia of the bourgeoitie—based on 
the case history of a celebrated French 
murderess back in the Thirties—Isabelle 
plays an 18-year-old femme fatale with 
no morals whatever. The daughter of a 
railroad man, she scems a simple work- 
ing girl by day in the bosom of her fam- 
ily. By night, or as opportunity arises, 
she slips away in vampy black silk, her 
mouth painted crimson, to pick up 
strangers, practice a bit of blackmail 
and spend the money she has stolen 
from her parents on a handsome wastrel 
(Jean-Frangois Garreaud) who claims to 
bc a law student. When Violette con- 
tracts syphilis, she manages to persuade 
her gullible mother and father (steph- 
ane Audran and Jean Carmet) that the 
condition is hereditary. When family ob- 
ligations become burdensome, poisoning 


Sleuths Ustinov and Niven. 


Import notes: Ustinov and Niven 
float down the Nile, Isabelle 
Huppert is a blackmailing vamp 
and Jules Dassin directs 
wife Mercouri in a Passion. 


Mercouri and Burstyn: Greek tragedy. 


her parents seems the most logical thing 
to do. On the second try, she succeeds in 
killing one of them. That's the story that 
makes Violette famous, her dark deeds 
bruited about Paris by scandalmongers 
and street singers, and Chabrol re- 
creates it with a kind of bemused clinical 
detachment, as a coldly fascinating fable 
of our timc. The effect is often comic in 
a disturbing deadpan way, not unlike 
Chaplin's Monsieur Verdoux. The mov- 
ie’s stylish decadence seems, in fact, to be 
Chabrol's comment on a mad world in 


which crime, however monstrous, pays 
rather well if you can carry it off with 
sufficient savoir-fa 


. 
A famous Greek actress rehearsing 
Medea in her homeland is persuaded, as a 
publicity stunt, to visit the prison where 
a pathetic American woman has been 
locked away for vengefully murdering 
her three children after her business 
man husband betrayed her. The confron- 
tation between these two Medeas—one 
flamboyant superstar, play-acting, the 
other a nearly hysterical religious zealot 
who believes she has done only what God 
led her to do—makes for explosive 
drama in A Dream of Passion. Truly a wom- 
an's picture from start to finish, but in 
the best sense, writer-director Jules Das 
зіп unabashedly theatrical showpiece 
created a minor sensation at the 1978 
Cannes Film Festival, both as a resonant 
and startling essay on the roles women 
play and as a glossy vehicle for two 
actresses who are given the chance of a 
lifetime to tear up the scenery. Melina 
Mercouri (Mrs. Dassin offscreen) and 
Ellen Burstyn, as the big star and her 
infanticidal alter ego, don't miss a single 
opportunity—and together they forge 
Dream of Passion into a work of white- 
hot virtuosity. Performing long pieces of 
the staged Medea, which she has played 
to glowing notices in Athens, or pulling 
out bits and pieces of her private self 
during a lengthy monolog quite frankly 
indebted to Marlon Brando's psychodra- 
matic personal revelations in Last Tango 
in Paris, Melina beats anything she has 
done on the screen since Dassin's Never 
on Sunday. As for Burstyn, she is devas- 
tating in 2 role that will send chills down 
your spine. Oscars have been awarded 
for much, much less. Succinctly, she's а 
creature consumed by pain, disintegrat- 
ed, the tremulous but secthing embodi- 
ment of the dictum that "Hell hath 
no fury like a woman scorned.” Larger- 
thanife emotions that might do for 
Shakespeare or Euripides are scarcely the 
aily bread of modern cinema, but 
Dream of Passion is no ordinary movie. 
Although you may weep or walk away 
dazed, it's a tearjerker with burning in- 
telligence and unmistakable class. 
б 
Complicity іп the Watergate scandal 
has grown into a guiltedged cottage 
industry with incomparable fringe bene- 
fits. The name of the game is fame. If 
you're well known, even as a reformed 
White House hatchet man, there's sure to 
be a book—and a buck—in it after you 
get sprung from jail. Born Again, the big- 
gest behind-the-scenes Watergate epic 
since All the President's Men, is based 
on the best-selling confessions of Charles 


итш pabor 


ONE 
E 


ї 7 


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Colson, onetime Special Counsel to the 
President, who lost his faith in Richard 
M. Nixon but found it in Jesus before 
doing time as the man behind the smear 
campaign against Daniel Ellsberg (of the 
Pentagon-papers caper). Colson is played 
by Dean Jones, another avowed born 
gain Christian, with Anne Francis (rc- 
ligious affiliation unspecified) as Colson's 
skeptical, long-suffering wife, Patti. Ex- 
ecutive producer Robert L. Munger, also 
born again, was reportedly introduced to 
Colson by singer Pat Boone, which does 
not surprise me. Former Iowa governor 
and Democratic U.S. Senator Harold 
Hughes, a political foe who became a fast 
friend after Colson's conversion, por- 
trays himself in this milky inspirational 
that's got tears, fears, smears and 
erything but a flock of Walt 
Disney bluebirds beating their little 
sts and warbling mea culpa. 
here’s no question about the sin- 
cerity of Born Again. Even the actors 
doubling for Nixon, Haldeman, Ehrlich- 
man, Kissinger and Hunt seem touched 
with the crusading spirit—as if they had 
been tapped to impersonate Pontius Pi- 
late and his boys in a Biblical pageant. 
Washington, D.C., might be as pure and 
untainted as the Garden of Eden, but 
somebody still has to play the snake. 
Director Irving Rapper manipulates 
Born Again to produce lumps in the 
throat and often gets giggles instead, 
particularly during early stages of the 
Watergate debacle, when one of Colson's 
minions says, “I don't know anything. 
But Mr. Woodward of The Washington 
Post called—he wants to take me to din- 
ner.” That's months before every White 
House plumber and plumber's helper 
ating crow, years before the media 
le of miracles turns crow into 
caviar. 


. 
Australian director Peter Weir's The 
Lest Wave is another visual tour de force 
ith crucial shortcomings as drama. Weir 
doesn't always let his audience have 
enough information to know exactly 
what the hell is going on, though he cer- 
tainly weaves a spell of intrigue, apoca- 
lyptic suspense and occultism among the 
aborigines. Richard Chamberlain, Amer- 
ica's own Dr. Kildare of TV, who went 
on to play Hamlet in England and 
proved himself a sizable actor, deliv 
an intense, intelligent performance as a 
lawyer in Sydney who is asked to defend 
several sullen aborigines in a murder 
case and finds himself launched on a 
psychic trip of awesome dimensions. 
Meanwhile, a black rain falls on Sydne: 
and there аге hailstorms in remote desert 
villages where the normal annual pre- 
cipitation is zero. Something is afoot, 
something frightening, and Weir keeps 
the screen full of it while Chamberlain 
tries to penetrate the aboriginal mysteries 
that suggest his eerie nightmares will 


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come true. Authentic aborigines and 
occasional asides about the quality of life 
down under add a shade of appealing 
exoticism to Last Wave, a cerebral dis- 
aster movie in which catastrophe 
ly a state of mind, 


is most- 


. 

There's only one X-rated flick worthy 
of mention this month. Skin-Flicks, pro- 
duced and directed by Gerard (Deep 
Throat) Damiano, one of the founding 
fathers of porno chic, is a hard-core 
movie about the making of hard-core 
movies. “Film is forever,” says Tony 
Hudson, as a porn director with a hang- 
up about completing his current film. 
Whether fuck films are forever may be 
debatable, and the staying power of Skin- 
Flicks relates less to the importance of 
the movie than to the sexual potency of 
the performers. Most are pcople such as 
Jamie Gillis and Sharon Mitchell, famil- 
iar faces—even more familiar fanks—on 
the New York scene, though Hudson is 
a promising newcomer who shows real 
acting ability. In the femme lead as Hud- 
son's overnight discovery—a small-town 
recruit who insists she’s never done 
things like this in front of a camera 
before—blonde Colleen Davis performs 
with uninhibited gusto. Damiano's few 
asides about the mysterious money 
men—probably Mob types eager to pro- 
tect their investment in the movie in 
progress—seem to be drawn from per- 
sonal experience. Yet Skin-Flicks is 
hardly an exposé. Its ultimate mesage 
appears to be a standard, simplistic re- 
minder that sex isn’t really that dirty, 
though churning out movie after movie 
on the subject—with uninspired plots 
and mostly mediocre talent—is one 
tough way to make a living. Yeah. 

. 

Richard Gere is the name to remem- 
ber from Bloodbrothers, director Robert 
Mulligan's episodic drama based on the 
novel by Richard Price. The De Coco 
family, ruled by macho Italian construc- 
tion workers in the Bronx (Paul Sorvino 
and Tony Lo Bianco are excellent lead- 
ers of the clan), scems dedicated to de- 
stroying its women and children while 
perpetuating the myth of male suprem- 
acy—in a neighborhood where manhood 
means good fuckin’, good fightin’ and 
good take-home pay. As Stony De Coco, 
who thinks he may like to see some of 
the world beyond the Bronx, or may- 
be work with kids in the hospital, Gere 
delivers a tour-de-force | performance 
that’s a cross between inarticulate early 
Brando bullishness and the boyish inno- 
cence of John Travolta. Gere is a new- 
comer to watch, a fact established by his 
stint as Diane Keaton’s first violent mid- 
night cowboy in Looking for Mr. Good- 
bar. Since then, he has landed the lead 
opposite Vanessa Redgrave in John 
Schlesinger's Yanks and is also the star 
of Terrence (Badlands) Malick's forth- 
coming Days of Heaven. Although 


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PLAYBOY 


Bloodbrothers is pretty good as a slice 
of Italian-American blue-collar life, it 
won't win any prizes for originality. This 
time next year, however, the movie may 
be considered a milestone for an upward- 
ly mobile actor whose career is just 
shifting into high. 
е 

If breath-taking cinematography were 
the only standard by which films were 
measured, Days of Heaven would be a mas- 
terpiece. For the first ten minutes or so, 
the images flow like magic—wind-swept 
prairies and wide-open seas of wheat, 
with a bleak American-Gothic farmhouse 
looming on the horizon as if Andrew 
Wyeth had painted it there. Hordes of 
grubby migrant workers climb off a train 
in this nowhere country, which happens 
to be somewhere in the Texas panhandle 
during the early 20th Century, and your 
spine stiffens with anticipation, It's great 
expectations time, because Days of Heav- 
en is a movie by writer-director Terrence 
Malick, who gained a following with the 
brilliant Badlands several years ago and 
became a certified boy wonder. Unfor- 
tunately, Malick's long-awaited second 
film turns out to be a textbook example 
of how to fail by letting one’s cinematog- 
raphers (in this case, Nestor Almendros 
assisted by two-time Oscar winner Has- 
kell Wexler) overwhelm the story they 
are supposed to help tell. The story itself 
is an earthy, provocative mixture of love 
triangle and social drama, about a mi- 
grant working girl (Rrooke Adams) whose 
beau (Richard Gere) persuades her to 
marry the wealthy young rancher (played 
by playwright Sam Shepard) who has 
eyes for her and is supposed to be dying 
of some nameless, dread disease. Loving 
the girl gives the rancher a new lease on 
life and she begins to love him, too, 
which sets the stage for a crime of pas- 
sion, the kind of elemental rural tragedy 
that Eugene O'Neill might have written, 

The trouble with Days of Heaven is 
that it doesn’t seem to have been written 
at all. There's not a single sustained dra- 
matic scene with dialog. Every confron- 
tation between the major characters is 
merely sketched in. What's between the 
lines is narrated in basic, semiliterate 
English by Linda Manz (the same stunt 
performed in Badlands by Sissy Spacek, 
except that Manz's role as Gere's kid sis- 
ter is dramatically irrelevant). A picture 
шау be worth a thousand words, but 
Malick presses his luck on that point, 
keeping his characters at such a distance 
they become mere figures in а landscape, 
props in a period reconstruction ren- 
dered with flawless detail. Although 
Gere, Adams and Shepard look capable 
of acting up a storm, the camera keeps 
interrupting them to watch the tall grass 
grow or to gaze into a sunset, to record 
a prairie fire or to watch the buffalo 
roam among other furred and feathered 
creatures of the wild. Days of Heaven 
finally loses all human interest and looks 


Two fine performances by 
newcomer Richard Gere 
and a sizzling depiction of 
repressed womanhood by 
veteran Geraldine Chaplin. 


Chaplin and Perkins are unforgettable. 


like a painstaking photo essay torn from 
the pages of National Geographic, 
. 

Playing tough or unsympathetic roles 
in Robert Alunan films (from Nashville 
to A Wedding) has sharpened Geraldine 
Chaplin's natural talent but has not 
done much to make her a favorite with 
movie audiences. Still, a Chaplin a 
Chaplin, and to hell with being America's 
sweetheart. Geraldine's inherent or inher- 
ited gifts come sizzling off the screen as 
never before in writer-director Alan Ru- 
dolph's Remember My Name. Rudolph, of 
course, is an Altman protégé and former 
assistant whose first feature, Welcome to 
L.A., met what's known as a mixed recep- 
tion (here, the reception was relatively 
warm) and died at the box office. Also pro- 
duced by Aliman, Remember My Name 
has more going for it commercially, as a 


newfangled old-fashioned movie that Ru- 
dolph describes as an update “of the das 
sic woman's melodramas of the Bette 

avis, Barbara Stanwyck, Joan Crawford 
era.” That's what you pay for and that’s 
what you get, almost, with Chaplin in 
complete control as an embittered, sex- 
ually repressed jailbird who comes out of 
stir and begins brewing a bitter cup of 
vengeance to dampen the bliss of a nice 
young married couple (Топу Perkins and 
Berry Berenson, who happen to be Mr. 
and Mrs. offscreen) in Southern Califor. 
nia. The vengeful lady—whose motives 
are strong but remain secret for quite a 
while—starts by tearing up the couple's 
flower beds and throwing rocks through 
their windows, Is she a homicidal ma- 
niac? A сахой old flame? A blackmailer 
from the husband's past? 

Everything becomes clear in due time, 
and Remember My Name generates mys- 
tery, sympathy and moments of tingling 
terror along the way, Actually, the movi 
turns out to be a sort of comedy: dark in 
tone, but a comedy, nonetheless. Ru- 
dolph did not graduate cum laude from 
the Altman school of cinema in order 
to make films as simple and straightfor- 
ward as your average Hollywood potboil- 
cr. Decidedly different, Name is both 
original and hypnotic, with a moody 
musical score—composed and performed 
on the sound track by 83-year-old blues 
veteran Alberta Hunter—that ought to 
become a collector's item overnight. The 
acung is memorable, too, with Perki 
in his meatiest role since Psycho vis-a-vis 
Miss Berenson (she's Marisa's sister, by 
the way), previously known as a socialite 
and sometime photographer, though Ber- 
гу refreshing and cffortless screen debut 
ought to ensure her work on the other 
side of the camera for a long while to 
come. 


FILM CLIPS 


High Street: From Belgium, not exactly 
the birthplace of hits, here's one of 
those minor, admirable, hypersensitive 
problem dramas that is deservedly get- 
ting a second chance in rerelease. Com- 
poserperformer Mort Schuman (of 
Jacques Brel Is Alive . . .) resembles a 
younger, plumpish Vincent Price in his 
role аз а successful artist who gives up 
everything, including other women, to 
dote on а ravingmad old fish peddler 
(Annie Cordy) who believes Brusscls is 
still full of Nazi storm troops. 

Despair: The title tells it all. Well, not 
quite. Adapted by English playwright 
"Tom Stoppard from a novel by Vladimir 
Nabokov, German director Rainer Wer- 
пег Fassbinder's first English-language 
film is part of the prodigious output (30 
or more movies in ten years) that has led 
a noisy coterie of international critics to 
hail Fassbinder as the messiah of world 
cinema. The New York Film Festival 
needs an annual Fassbinder fix, and De- 
spair is the 1978 entry. Dirk Bogarde and 


_ There inay still be places _ 
where Grand Marnier isnt offered after dinner. 


For free recipe booklet, write Carillon Importers, Ltd., 745 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10022. Product of France. Made with fine cognac brandy, 80 proof. 


DU m "m 


58 


The Interwoven Man. 
He's got 
socks appeal. 


The man who plays to succeed wears 
Interwoven Sportwick ® the quality athletic sock. So even 
when he works up a sweat from head to toe, his feet 
stay dry. For him, ordinary sweat socks won't do. Because 
the Interwoven Man has socks appeal. 


Xaterwoven’ 


© 1978 Kayser-Roth Hosiery, Inc. 


Andréa Ееттёо! star in this mannered, 
soporific psychodrama about a neurotic 
candy manufacturer who decides to as. 
sume another man’s identity because life 
in preHider Germany has become so 
stupefyingly dull. Fassbinder's visual 
is not to be sneezed at, granted, but hi 
operatic style and a sluggish Stoppard 
script are an open invitation to snooze. 

The Chess Players: Satyajit Ray, India’s 
master of cinema—virtually the only In- 
dian film maker, as far as we Westerners 
know—creates pellucid poetry out of 
politics іп a small, perfect movie about 
the colonization of Oudh in 1856. While 
two aristocratic Indian chess players sym- 
bolically move their kings, queens and 
rooks, the English crown (represented 
effectively by Richard Attenborough) 
prepares to depose a life-loving king who 
has 400 concubines, 29 "temporary 
wives" and a taste for versification and 
dancing. The languages spoken are Eng- 
lish and Hindi (with subtitles) and the 
pace is predictably but rather pleasurably 
slow (action fans, beware), like watch- 
ing the morning dew evaporate. 

A Woman at Her Window: Sex and poli- 
tics in Greece circa 1936, with Romy 
Schneider as a ravishing (oh, very) society 
matron who lets everything go for love 
of a leftist refugee (Victor Lanoux, ob- 
viously France's latest answer to Jean 
Gabin, Spencer Tracy and the mature 
male stars of yesteryear). The actors are 
terrific, but left to the mercy of writer 
Jorge Semprun, a born prosclytizer who 
cannot shake his conviction that two 
passionate people would spend a lot of 
time talking about Franco Spain, Stalin 
and such. Sensuality loses to socialism 
and all the really exciting events occur 
between scenes. Was it Lenin who said, 
“Is that all there 

Servant and Mistress; An heir apparent 
(Victor Lanoux again) comes home after 
his uncle's funeral to find that the house- 
maid (Andréa Ferréol) who used to be 
his unwilling sex slave has inherited 
the uncle’s entire estate. Role switching 
and revenge are in order. Lanoux and 
Ferréol are superb, though largely wasted 
on a claustrophobic psychodrama that 
just scratches the surface of a subject 
explored to perfection in The Servant, 
the Harold Pinter-Joseph Losey classic. 

Replay: Marie-Jose Nat and Victor 
Lanoux (who must be due for R&R after 
his many recent oncamera labors) share 
acting honors in an eerie, expert domes- 
tic thriller about an amnesia victim who 
has had a nasty accident and cannot re- 
cover her lost memory because her hus- 
band—for reasons of his own—keeps 
revising certain essential details of her 
past. The story is the sort of light but 
densely packed stuff that used to serve 
as padding in old Joan Crawford melo- 
dramas; but French director Michele 
Drach (Les Violons du Bal) makes tri- 
fling matters loom large. 

A Slove of Love: Soviet director Nikita 


The man’s all legs and 
knows everything about feet. 
Listen: 

“Boots have to look great— 
but they also have to be made 
for whatever you're going to 
be doing in them. That’s why, 
when you say boots, you gotta 
say Dingo?” 

Like O.J. Simpson, we 
mean what we say, and what 
we say is: Nobody Puts 
Leather Together Like Dingo. 

Now, Dingo puts together 
a Special Offer: Get this quality 
canvas carry-all bag for only 
$7.95. Pick up an order blank 


Nobody Puts Leather 
‘Together Like Dingo. 


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59 


PLAYBOY 


60 


Why now, 
more than ever, 
we can ask, 
‘Tsitlive or 
isit Memorex 


Ferric bias. 120 pSee. Equalization: 


je оп all © 
Memorex's finest cassette for us 


x 


Quite simply, new. 
MRX; is the best 
cassette Memorex 
has ever made 
Better, even, than our own. 
MRX: Oxide cassette. Heres 
exactly why: MRX,is made with 
a new, high-energy ferric oxide 
Particle to give you the following 
improvements in sound reproduction. 
1) Brighter highs, richer lows. 
Higher output at saturation, specifically 
а 3.0 dB improvement over МАХ, Oxide 
at high frequency maximum output level 
and a3.0 dB boost at low frequencies 
2) Less distortion. 
4.0 GB less distortion than МАХ, Oxide 
3) Wide dynamic range for broad 
recording flexibility, ihe most 
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Boosted MOL and low noise level give 
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гадав: оубг MAX, Oxide 

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` Memorex?” 
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MEMOREX E 
Recording Tape. E 
Is it live, or is it Memorex? E 


Mikhalkovs romantic tragicomedy de- 
scribes how am eccentric company of 
moviernakers, on location in the Crimea 
back in 1917, keeps cranking out its 
corny melodramas while the Russian 
Revolution is getting under way. De- 
spite its political slant, Slave is surpris- 
ingly bright, imaginative, cyc-filling and 
free of dogma—with lots of timeless 
showbiz humor and a deliciously sly 
performance by blonde Elena Solovey as 
a spoiled star of the silents who is forced 
to become a real-life damsel in distress. 

Watership Down: This animated flm 
based on Richard Adams’ novel, which 
sold millions, depicts a world of talking 
rabbits (talking veddy Britishy, for the 
most part) in order to score some telling 
points about man’s inhumanity and all 
that. Probably beyond the ken of kids 
raised on Disney's adorable bunny wab- 
bits, it distills the book's complex ideas 
into an impressive movie, appropriate for 
adults aged seven to 70, if anyone gives 
a damn. The rich voices of the sound 
track are supplied by such premium hams 
as Michael Hordern, Sir Ralph Richard- 
son, Denholm Elliott and the late Zero 
Mostel. 

Viva ltalial: Nine unrelated vaudeville 
blackouts, several of them extremely fun- 
ny, by three ace Italian directors (Mario 
Monicelli, Dino Risi, Ettore Scola) who 
serve up an anything-goes actors’ holiday 
starring Vittorio Gassman, Ugo Tognazzi 
and Alberto Sordi. All are superb at mak- 
ing very sketchy material look like a lot, 
though Sordi steals it—particularly as 
a comedy straight man who goes to eulo- 
gize his dead partner at graveside and 
cannot resist the chance to play the 
funeral as a solo turn, strictly for laughs. 

Caro Michele: "The title character, an 
Italian revolutionary, never actually 
appears. Director Mario (Big Deal on 
Madonna Street) Monicelli acquaints us, 
instead, with the women he left be- 
hind—Delphine Seyrig and Aurore Cle- 
ment, as his mother and sister, and 
Mariangela Melato (of Swept Away), a 
stunning actress in yet another tour de 
farce as a madcap ragazza whose bastard 
newborn child could be Michele's. Sub- 
de and timely but seldom blatantly 
topical, Caro Michele seems to be con- 
cerned with survival, a very big deal in 
Italy today. 

Bonjour Amour: First love is spoiled by 
adult interference in a poetic, rueful 
romance that has the hypersensitive aura 
of a first novel, though it's the third 
feature by French director Roger An- 
drieux, a graduate of the UCLA film 
school. Pascal Meynier and Gulhaine 
Dubos play the dewy-eyed couple whose 
idyl is shattered when Dubos’ cynical 
brother, the photographer, takes a se- 
ductive pinup picture of the girl, Crazy 
kids. If that throws 'em, maybe they ате 
too young. 

— REVIEWS BY BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


WHY DEPEND ОМ VOLVO JUST 


TO GET YOU TO THE SLOPES? 
VOLVO CAN ALSO GET YOU 
DOWN THEM. 


The best possible ski condi- 
tions often create the worst 
possible driving conditions. 
But skiers who drive 
Volvos wont let sleet nor 
snow, nor slippery mountain 
roads keep them from their 
appointed runs. Theycount 


And once out on the 
trails, the smart skier doesn’t 
lose his attachment to Volvo. 
Dynamic skis and Koflach 
boots are both Volvo prod- 
ucts. Which means they're 
designed to handle the slopes 
as perfectly as a Volvo han- 


onthe car known for safety to dles the road. 

In fact, Dynamics 
torsion box design has pro- 
duced a long and prestigious 


help them maneuver where 
other slope-bound drivers 
fearto tread. 


history of Alpine victories. 
(37 Olympic medals and 4 
World Cups.) 

And all Koflach boots 
feature their unique sealed 
sole for greater warmth, a 
divided tongue to eliminate 
pressure points and a soft, 
pressure-free collar, 

So the next time you 
think snow, think Volvo. 
Up and down. VOLVO 


JJ is a great place to hide a case for "the С.С. Season,” 
we thought, and soon found ourselves flying north- 
ward bundled in parkas and boots. We actually flew to 
the pole (or what the best available navigation system 
told us was the pole). Alas, bad weather kept us from 
landing on it and paying our respects to the man in red. 
7 [| Sowe flew on over the polar cap till the clouds opened 
p 2 X enough to land and left our case of holiday cheer on 
k E the ice at exactly 84^50'5"N, 63*55/2"W on April 25, 
1978. (Why April? Because we want to be home for the holidays too.) 

The hard way to celebrate “the С.С. Season.” 

To find the case of polar potables, you'll have to hire a ski-equipped plane. 
Get someone experienced like arctic specialists Kenn Borek Air Ltd. (it's no 
jobfornovices), and fly north from Resolute Bay in the Canadian Arctic. Don't 
be disappointed, though, if the case of Canadian Club is not there when 
you reach our above-mentioned coordinates. Remember, that’s floating ice 
up there, not land, and it moves. 


xt 


The easy way to send “С.С. Season Greetings.” 
Having been to the pole and back on this adven- 
ture, we heartily recommend that all but the most APORTED) 
robust of explorers use this easier way to get their 
holiday supply of Canadian Club. 

First make a list of everyone you'll want to 
remember with gifts of Canadian Club: 750 milli- 
litres for good friends, quarts for very good friends 
and 175 litres for your nearest and dearest. Don't 
forget to put yourself on that list al least twice. Then 
bundle up and head for the nearest store that dis- 
plays the handsome Canadian Club gift-wrapped 
package and say, “C.C, please” | 


, : aS 
Canudun GUA YEARS, 010 IMPORTED FROM CANADA BY HIRAM WALKER IMPORTERS INC , DETROIT, МОН. 
868 PROOF. BLENDED CANADIAN WHISKY. (C; 1978 


“The Best In The House"* in 87 lands. 


х COMING ATTRACTIONS x 


por Gossip: Plans may be under way at 
CBS to revive the Millionaire series. 
In spite of inflation, eccentric philan- 
thropist John B. Tipton will still be giv- 
ing away only a lukewarm mil. . . . Alfred 
Hitchcock will start shooting his next film, 
Short Night, next spring in Finland. . . . 
"Word has it that Gore Videl is working on 
a long historical novel about the ancient 
world featuring such luminaries as Soc- 
rates, Confucius and Buddha. . . . Arthur 
Penn will direct the screen version of 
Paddy Choyefskys first novel, Altered 


States. The special-effects budget ought 
to be a doozy—the book’s about a scien- 
tist who travels backward in time 


Vidal Hitchcock 


through his mind until his body de- 
evolutionizes into a . . . well, go see the 
film. . . . Capricorn Records chief Phil 
Walden plans to produce a feature film 
based on the life of Otis Redding. . . . Anne 
Bancroft Will play Joan Crawford in the 
screen adaptation of Mommie Dearest, 
Christina Crowford's outspoken bio of her 
late mother. . . . Neil Simon's got a new 
play in the works, a musical called 
They're Playing Our Song, about a com- 
poser and a lyricist. Mervin Hamlisch and 
lyricist Carole Bayer Sager are writing the 
songs. . . . Malcolm (Clockwork Orange) 
McDowell will play the young Н. С. Wells 
in Warner Bros. Time After Time, a— 
get this—"sci-fi thriller comedy." Nicho- 
las Meyer will direct from his own 
script. . . . Harold Robbins is working on a 
nev novel for Simon & Schuster. Tenta- 
tively titled Memories of Another Day, 
it's the story of a national labor lead- 
er. . . . Checking out the blonde beat: 
Farrah Fawcett-Majors’ second starring film 
role will be in The Bind, with Charles 
Grodin and Ап Carney, shooting in the 
hair-bleaching sun of Acapulco. And 
model-beauty queen Susan Anton will 
make her film debut in Golden Girl, 
playing а gorgeously tall wack star try- 
ing to compete on the U.S. Olympic 
team in Russia. 


THUMBS DOWN: Christie's latest pic- 
ture, Sophie and the Captain, has been 
scrapped after two weeks shooting in 
Paris, but it wasn't Julie's fault. The 
producers took 2 hard look at the first 


footage and decided it was going no- 
where. So they chose to cut their losses at 
the $100,000 spent so far rather than go 
ahead with the $2,000,000 the finished 
film would have cost. Thus ends Julie's 
chance to show how a liberated female 
can turn a husband into a transvestite, 
as the script called for. But perhaps, for 
once, commerce triumphed over art. 
E 

STRAIGHT ratk: “Impotence, premature 
ejaculation, lack of desire—all these 
problems are widespread among men, 
but nobody talks about them. I've expe- 
rienced all these things myself and 
though I do feel a certain embarrassment 
about revealing that, that's precisely why 
I'm writing this book," says ex-Yippie 
Jerry Rubin about his latest project, a 
book on male sexuality and vulnerabil- 
ity. Claiming that "openness and hon- 
esty” are the solutions to most sexual 
problems, Jerry plans to survey hun- 
dreds of men and women and draw his 
own conclusions. "I plan to show the 
book to sex therapists," he says. "Most 
therapists believe that someone who's had 
these problems can be a good teacher. I 
expect most therapists will like the book." 

5 Ў 

CALVIN COOLIDGE EXPOSED: "Who knows 
the First Families better than their maids 
and servants? 1 found the concept in- 
triguing [rom the start," says Ed Friendly, 
producer of an upcoming miniseries for 
NBC, Backstairs at the White House. 
Based on a best seller by a former White 
House maid, the TV movie stars Ed 
Flanders as Calvin Coolidge, George Kennedy 
as Warren С. Harding, Victor Buono as 


Kennedy as Harding Flanders as Coolidge 


William Taft, Robert Vaughn as Woodrow 
Wilson and leslie Uggams and Olivio Cole as 
the maids. “We're not trying to do the 
Hollywood look-alike bit here, nor are we 
getting the actors to do imitations,” says 
Friendly, “but George read a lot of 
books on Harding and Flanders is a real 
research buff, and we discovered a lot of 
interesting details. For example, Grace 
Coolidge didn’t do her own shopping— 
Calvin bought all her clothes for her, 
sort of an unusual trait for a President, 
We also discovered that Silent Cal did 
not choose to run because he smelled the 


Depression coming and left Hoover 
holding the bag. Did you know that 
Hoover didn't take a salary and paid all 
the White House expenses out of his 
own pocket?" Backstairs is tentatively set 
for February airing. 
б 

THE BEAT GOES ON: Delbert McClinton seems 
to have become the cause célèbre of 
the New York-L.A. "in" crowd. When 
Delbert and his Second Wind Band 
swept into Manhattan, John Belushi, Bette 
Midler, Elvis Costello and pro wrestler Dusty 
Rhodes, among others, were present. Both 
Costello and Belushi joined Delbert on- 
stage for several songs. At L.A.'s Roxy, Kris 


Carlin McClinton 


Kristofferson, Emmylou Harris, Roy Orbison and. 
Gory Busey were in attendance backstage. 
McClinton will probably appear soon on 
Saturday Night Live and word has it 
that Belushi wants him to perform on 
the Blues Brothers album John and Don 
Aykroyd plan to record. Meantime, Del- 
bert's busy recording another album of 
his own, set for release early next year. 


. 
comic reter: Comedy in America is 
alive and well. National Lampoon has a 
three-year picture deal with Universal 
and will probably adapt the stage 
comedy Lemmings for its next screen 
project. George Carlin’s got a feature film 
scheduled for possible spring release. 
The Illustrated George Carlin consists 
of footage from Carlin concerts, ani- 
mation and vignettes. Dom Deluise makes 
his directorial debut with Hot Stuff, a 
ime comedy based on the true story 
of those Washington, D.C., cops who 
started a fencing operation to catch 
thieves. Dom will also star. John Landis, 
who last directed Animal House, will di- 
rect Шу Tomlin in The Incredible Shrink- 
ing Woman. David Steinberg is directing 
Sex in America for Universal. 

And, working under his usual blanket 
of secrecy, Woedy Allen is busy with 
W.A.S.P. (Woody Allen's Summer Proj- 
ect), also tentatively titled Woody Allen's 
Untitled Film No. 3 or, maybe, Manhat- 
lan, starring himself, Diane Keaton, Anne 
Hoffmen and Michael Murphy. 

— JOHN BLUMENTHAL 


EAT 


PLAYBOY 


This may become the most 
popular camera idea in America. 


It's a wonder no one ever did it be- 
fore: combine the convenience and 
simplicity of a cartridge-film pocket 
camera with the versatility and 
quality of a reflex camera. 

Not only does the Minolta 110 
Zoom SLR give you this unique 
combination, but it does so ina 
camera weighing only 15.1 ounces. 
And measuring only 5.3 inches by 
4.3 inches by 2.1 inches. 

It has a zoom lens. 
Instead of changing lenses to get 
different effects, you just turn the 
lens to zoom in for a picture-filling 
portrait or zoom back to get more 
into the scene. 

Close-ups, too. 
A built-in close-up lens gives you 
shots as close to the camera as 11.3 
inches. 

You look through the lens. 
When you look into the viewfinder 
of the 110 Zoom SLR, youre seeing 
what will appear on the film, so you 


The one and only Minolta 110 Zoom SLR. 


don't have to warry about cutting 
people's heads off in close-up pic- 
tures. It's the same aswith the finest 
Professional reflex cameras. 

Easy focusing. 
In thecenter of theviewfinder you'll 
see a circle where the image ap- 
pears tobe broken up. Just turn the 
lens until everything appears clear 
and your picture will be їп focus! 

There's information in the 

viewfinder, too. 
Glowing lights tell you if your bat- 
teriesare О.К. Ifthere's too much or 
not enough light to shoot. And 
whether or not the camerais set for 
automatic operation. 

Exposure: the camera 

does the work. 
The 110 Zoom SLR will automati- 
cally choose the precise shutter 
speed for a perfectly exposed pic- 
ture. Anywhere from 1/1000th of a 
Second to a full ten seconds. And 
there's a control so you can adjust 


the exposure manually for unusual 
light situations. 
Automatic flash. 
There's a Minolta 
Auto Electroflash 
for the 110 Zoom 
SLR that lets you 
take flash pic- 
tures automati- 
cally without 
flashbulbs. 
Finally... 
So you won't take a picture acci- 
dentally, you can lock the camera. 
And the 110 Zoom SLR comes with 
a removable rubber lens shade to 
keep stray light from interfering 
With your pictures. If you would like 
to see what photography is coming 
to, try the Minolta 110 Zoom SLR at 
your photo dealer. For more infor- 
mation, write Minolta Corporation, 
101 Williams Drive, Ramsey, N.J. 
07446. In Canada: Minolla Camera 
(Canada) Inc., Ontario. 


110 Zoom SLR. There's never been a camera like it. 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


WM, roommate and I are planning a 
vacation for the Christmas break, After a 
semester of hitting the books, we want to 
boogic. Our dilemma: Do we hit the 
beaches or the slopes? We conducted an 
informal poll of the guys in the frat 
house to see which locale was the luck- 
ier and came up with a draw. Who 
meets more girls—sun bathers or skiers? 
And what are our chances of scoringi— 
D. B., Minneapolis, Minnesota. 

We searched our files and could not 
find a study that related directly to your 
we did uncover an 


question, However 
interesting experiment, described in “A 
New Look at Love,” by Elaine Walster 
and С. William Walster, that might help 
Researchers investigated the notion that 
fear and excitement increase sexual. at- 
traction and contribute to passionate 
love. I1 seems that in North Vancouver, 
there ave two bridges that span Capilano 
Canyon. One is a five-fool-wide suspen- 
ston bridge that “tilts, sways and wobbles 
over а 230-001 drop to the rocks and 
shallows below." The other bridge, a few 
hundred yards upstream, is а solid, safe 
structure. Psychologists: placed an attrac 
tive young college girl at the end of 
cach bridge. Whenever а young man 
would crass, she would meet him, give 
him a questionnaire and ask him to fill it 
oul. She would also give the man her 
telephone number and offer to explain 
the project later, if he wanted to call. 
Who followed up on this opening? The 
men who had taken the risky bridge. 
(Nine of 33 men who crossed the suspen- 
sion bridge called the coed. Only two of 
the men on the solid bridge called.) 
What does this mean? Try taking а vaca- 
tion in North Vancouver. AL fast glance, 
it would seem that adrenaline makes the 
heart grow fonder. The excitement that 
surrounds a ski vacation should increase 
sexual tension, especially in comparison 
with a beach vacation, which is seldom 
if ever described as high risk. However, а 
shrewd observer will note that there is 
less competition in the low-risk atmos- 
phere. (Two as opposed to nine callers.) 
You'll have to make up your own mind. 
Since we are going skiing in a few weeks 
and would like to have the mountains 
10 ourself, we recommend the beach 
vacation. 


В have been a dope smoker for several 
years now, but only recently have 1 
Started petting wrecked on a regular 
basis. 1 am extremely nearsighted and 
had to wi lenses fo 
years (1 € nd to 
: After we have passed a joint 
or two around and settled back a bit, 
my contacts lx te my eyes. 


have ar contact 


n't ost 


many wear 


asses) 


n to irri 


remove them. But 
morc than ten feet 
in front of me. It is kind of a bummer 
party and can't see 
what is going on. Amy suggestions?— 
T. M., Ashland, Oregon. 

Let's hear it, now: Smoke gets in your 
eyes. And even. if it doesn’t, grass can 
have а drying effect on the body. That 
includes your eyes, mouth and the mu- 
cous membranes of the vagina (which is 
why sex is sometimes difficult under the 
influence). For sex, we suggest K-Y jelly 
or another lubricant. For your eyes, we 
suggest using drops to get the red out, 
or perhaps switching to soft lenses 
(Many lensmen find that the soft lense 
are easier on their eyes.) Whatever you 
do, don't get so stoned that you confuse 
the eyedrops with the К-У jelly. 


Тат forced to 
then, I can't scc 


when you go to 


АЛ, wite ana I have been happily mar- 
ried for years. Up to this time, our re 
tionship has been monogamous, but 
we've been talking about extramarital 
irs recently. She said that she did not 
object to them in principle but that she 
had read somewhere that fooling around 
was bad for your health, She is not refer 
ring to crimes of passion or jealous lovers 
but, rather, to the chance of having a 
heart attack while making love to a 
mistress. It sounds like an old wives’ tale 
to me, Is there any truth to the могу 
R., New York, New York. 

Uh, we hate lo be the bearer of bad 


news, but your wife is on to something 
The chances of having a heart attack 
while making love are infinitesimal, but 


if you do have one, the chances are that 
you will have it with your mistress and 
not with your wife. A study of 31 cardiac 
patients who died during intercourse re- 
vealed that 29 of the 34 were having an 
extramarital affair. We don't know what 
ere nol sure we want 10. 


this means; 


H. 


sex life, How about some pointers on 
jogging? Tve just taken up the sport 
to keep in shape (cf. Alice in Wonde: 
land, “You have to run to stay in the 
same place”). My question is this: How 
far should I be runni "The joggers I 
meet in the park all seem to be into long 
distances—four or five m clip, 
seven days a week, whatever. The books 
on running Гуе read are all filled 
with mystical macho mumbo jumbo 
about hitting the wall. They aren't any 
help. Га be depressed about the whole 
situation, except that runn 
cures depression, What are the facts?— 
L. R., Seattle, Washington. 

Frankly, we view with alarm the pop 
ulavily of yunning. Our species seems 10 
be less and less interested in sex and 
more and more interested in the stam 
pede. Like lemmings, we have gone into 
taining for the great Grand Canyon 
marathon—25 miles horizontal, one mile 
vertical, If you insist on continuing this 
madness, consider the following: A study 
at the University of California at Berke- 
ley determined that maximum fitness (as 
measured by oxygen uptake) could be ob 
tained by running 12 minutes a day three 
limes a weck. Doubling the running time 
did not increase cardiovespiralory fitness 
(though it does burn off additional calo- 
ries} In short; less is nol more. H is 
merely enough. As for depression, run- 
ning does seem to help. A team of re- 
searchers at the University of Wisconsin 
enrolled a group of depressed patients in 
a running-therapy program. The group 
ran three limes а week for 30 to 45 min- 
ules each time. The exercise veduced 
symptoms of depression in the group. 
Moral: Running does the same for you 
as a hit of Valium, except with Valium 
you don't get shin splints. 


coach: You've helped me with my 


g supposedly 


ММ... can you tell me about herpes? 
From what I've read and heard, it's the 
Devil's own disease. Once you have it, 
you have it forever. And, you have to 
give up lovemaking, unless you want to 
become some Herpes Harry. Right now, 
Tm about to take a vow of abstinence, 
just to keep myself from geting it— 
G. J, Washington, D.C. 

Herpes and the victims of herpes have 
been getting a lot of bad press lately 
Last we heard, there was а movement 


67 


PLAYBOY 


68 


“I bought one of 
your shirts in 1937, 
and already the collar 


is fraying?” 


Parting with a Él = 
shirt after 4lyearsis, | 
understandably, a shock. 

But we were even 
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After all, our customers 
shirt enjoyed an unusually long 
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Of course, we do labor over our 
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And were happy to see its paying off. 


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Van Q Qiana. It never loses its shape. 
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М VAN HEUSEN | 


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+ raru sa Reg DuPont TM. 


69 


In 1846, the French created Dubonnet For the they drank then. 
And theres Dubonnet today For the way America dirin! now-light and easy 
“Parlez-vous Dubonnet?” 


Dubonnet Aperitif Wines, Produc! of U.SA. Dubonnet Co. NY. М Y. © 


afoot to create a hind of leper's colony 
for sufferers. Everyone who turned up 
with a case of herpes would get a free 
plane ticket to Los Angeles. Do unto 
others as they have done unto themselves. 
Current research indicates that while 
herpes may pul a temporary crimp in 
your lovemaking style, il is not grounds 
for permanent abstention. When a per- 
son contracts the virus, he or she may 
sufjer recurrent infections during the first 
year (as frequently as every two to eight 
weeks). The outbreaks diminish in fre- 
quency and severity over the next two to 
three years as the victim develops im- 
munity. An infection is easy to spol: A 
cluster of small blisters forms near the 
genitals. The area is incredibly tender to 
the touch. Within one 10 three days, the 
blisters break. Treatment of herpes is 
limited to the use of drying agents 
(alcohol, ether or Burrows compresses) lo 
speed the healing of the blisters. There 
are no successful vaccines, According to 
Dr. Michael Jarrat, during the blister- 
and-broken-blister stage (which may last 
from three to five days), the area is teem- 
ing with infectious viral particles. How- 
ever, infeclious virus cannot be recovered 
from lesions after the fifth day. Jarrat 
writes, “Nevertheless, patients should be 
advised to abstain from sexual activity 
until crusted erosive lesions have healed, 
leaving smooth pink re-epithelized skin 
(usually seven to ten days)" If you are not 
willing 10 abstain from sex during an 
outbreak, you should at least use a 
condom (otherwise, your partner's chance 
of contracting herpes is greater than 50 
percent). If your partner has had herpes 
in the past, the need for precautions is 
diminished. (Use contraceptive foam 
during intercourse and wash with soap 
and water afterward.) So there you have 
it: While herpes is a major annoyance, it 
is not cause to give up sex, especially if 
you haven't caught it. 


Т. celebrate а recent raise, Y threw 
а small dinner party that started with 
hors d'oeuvres and cocktails. 1 had cho- 
sen a r that I thought was rather 
expensive. Indeed, I bought it because it 
was expensive. But it tasted awful. Can 
it be that I'm not ready for the jam of 
the jet set or did 1 buy the wrong 
thing?—M. C., San Francisco, Californi: 

Alas, one of the most upsetting things 
about being rich is the realization that 
expense is по aiterion for value. Caviar, 
like any food, is a matter of personal 
taste. The most expensive caviar is Belu- 
ga. It is firm, dark and mild. Plus, it 
comes from hardy sturgeon that swim in 
colder water than other caviar-source fish. 
As а result, you can pay up to $180 for a 
H-ounce lin, On the other hand, ihe 
second most expensive, golden Oselra 
caviar, is more piquant, comes in a 
brownishgray mélange and costs no 
more than $120 per 14-ounce tin. On the 
bargain-basement side is Great Lakes 


whitefish caviar produced in, of all 
places, Wisconsin. This caviar, like other 
cheaper varieties, is often artificially col- 
огей black and normally leaves a dark 
residue on your plate. They are the types 
most often found in restaurants, along 
with lumpfish and salmon cawar, and 
will cost you no more than eight bucks a 
lin. We don't know what you were ex- 
pecting, but the fact is (hat caviar is 
something of an acquired taste and is 
not meant to change your life. We sug- 
gest you accept it as a largely symbolic 
item for celebrations only, like cheap 
champagne, until your taste buds catch 
up with your new-found wealth. 


На. му fiancée, who is perfect in 
every other way, has refused to take my 
name when we get married. 1 don't want 
to use one of those hyphenated names, 
since | would have to change every piece 
of identification I own. She says she 
doesn't want to lose her identity as a 
separate person. What do we doz—M. 
New York, New York. 

Nothing. The only thing marriage 
changes is your marital status. There is 
no law in your state that says а woman 
has to take her husband's name. It is only 
a long-held custom. Granted, some mer- 
chants, banks, etc., may get their com- 
puters fouled ир, but thal’s their 
problem, not yours. If your fiancée ts, as 
you say, “perfect in every other way,” 
why rock the boat? 


WB, girlfriend and 1 are in the midst 
of a heated debate that threatens our 
relationship. She was advised to go olf 
the pill by her doctor. Since then, we 
have resorted to using prophylactics for 
contraceptive purposes. One night, we 
were enjoying a vigorous 69 session, After 
I had come in her mouth, she implored 
me to enter her. An argument ensued 
when I insisted on using a rubber. She 
said that there is so little sperm left after 
an ejaculation that there would be little 
chance of her getting pregnant. She wa 
willing to take the chance of having 
intercourse with no means of contracep- 
tion, 1 argued that there was enough 
sperm still active after my ejaculation to 
impregnate her. Who is right?—K. M., 
Tinley Park, Illinois. 

It takes only one little bugger to make 
a woman pregnant—and there ате more 
than that kicking around afler ап cjacu- 
lation. She may be willing to take the 
chance of pregnancy, but it is not her 
sole responsibility. You acted reasonably. 
You might tell her that she had over- 
looked the possibility of a second ejacu- 
lation (after all, she is good in bed). 
After you've made ир, you can try for 
that second orgasm. 


FRoutette is my game, Although I know 
the odds aren't the best, I just get a 
kick out of watching that litde ball 


bounce around. I play most often in Las 
Vegas, but I've been told you get a better 
chance at the big win in Europe. How 
come?—L. D., Los Angeles. California. 

Because that little ball doesn't have as 
far to bounce in Europe, that’s why. 
European rouletie wheels ате different 
from those in the States (сееп though 
Stateside wheels are made in France, it 
being illegal 10 manufacture roulette 
wheels in the U. $.) in that they have no 
double zero, only a single zero. This cuts 
the house percentage from the usual 5.26 
percent to about 2.70 percent. While the 
European percentage is a little more 
reasonable, roulette in any language is 
still a game of chance. So don't count on 
buying your return air ticket with your 
winnings. И could be a long swim back 
1o Southern California. 


Five been marri 9... years to а wom- 
an who's almost (rigid. When I can con- 
vince her to have sex (it has to be a 
urday or Sunday afternoon before six 
pat), she has the following stipulations: 
The dishes must be done, the house 
cleaned and our son out of the house. 1 
must wash my genitals. She takes a show- 
er, brushes her hair and then drinks a 
glass of brandy to get loose. After 
that, she is ready. We seldom have int 
course, She never orgasms when I'm 
side her. Usually, she puts my cock in 
her mouth. When I come, she runs to 
the bathroom and spits out my sperm. 1 
mual stimulation of her 
ly into that, either. 
As a result, we have sex only about once 
a month. I'm totally frustrated, constant- 
ly horny. I don't want to get divorced, 
because of my son. Can you help?— 
L. S., Cleveland, Ohio. 

Your wije makes sex sound like а 
human sacrifice. The situation is not 
healthy—for you or for her. No sexual 
relationship can succeed if the two 
people involved don’t communicate. You 
aren't going to be able to arouse your 
wife's interest in sex until you find out 
why she goes lo such extremes to avoid il. 
She's the only one who can tell you what 
the problem is. If she can't put her feel- 
ings into words, professional counseling 
may be necessary. If she refuses to talk 
or io seek outside guidance, there are sev- 
eral alternatives. Hire a maid to do the 
house cleaning. If your wife still isn't 
interested, make it with the maid. 


АП reasonable questions—from. fash- 
ion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars 
lo dating dilemmas, taste and etiquetie— 
will be personally answered if the writer 
includes a stamped. self-addressed en- 
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy 
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi- 
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The 
most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month. 


71 


HITACHI -тьһьс с 


PHONES ~ \ 


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with this simple switch. 


Nothing can improve your extended frequency response, equipment use Maxell more 


tape deck more dramatically the highest possible signal- than any other brand. 

than switching to better tape. іо-поіѕе ratio and the lowest Of course, Maxell is slightly 
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cally designed to give you own the finest high-performance our price won't sound bad at all. 


een LIU ИИИ 


THE PLAYBOY SEX POLL 


an informal survey of current sexual attitudes, behavior and insights 


Sexual accelerators pressed 10 the 
floor. sexometers zooming past 100 thrills 
per lover. In this decade of pleasure run 
rampant, bedroom breakthroughs are 
reported fast say Masters- 
Johnson-Kinsey-Comfort. Where is this 
intense eroticism carrying the sybarites 
ob the Seventies? Toward а luture in 
which everyone has done all the exciting 
things there are to be done? Where each 
physical nook and «тавиу has 
nooked and crannied? We wish. 

Total erogenous freedom is further 
away than dichard libertarians like to 
admit. Everyone, even the sexually dar- 
ng avantgardist, is still afraid to live 
out at least some fantasy, probably one 
that frightens more than it titillates. 
What are these special inhibitions? 

We asked 100 men and 100 women 
what taboo they were most eager to ex- 
plore and what they thought the oppo- 
site sex would say. Are you ready? 

. 


been 


©: MEN, WHAT SEXUAL TA- 
BOO DO YOU THINK WOMEN 
MOST WANT TO EXPLORE? 


Twenty-three percent. of the males 
guessed that most women w; med to 
make it with another woman: "It's odd, 
whenever we're out, my girl spends more 
time commenting about other women's 
sex appeal than about any of the men 
she sees: “That waitress is beautiful be- 
cause her tiny tits are firm and upright 
with nipples that stick way out, that one 
because her cute ys like a cheer 
leader's.” At times, I almost feel she'd 
rather get off fucking chicks. 
Twenty-one percent of the males be- 
lieved that most ladies would someday 
like to participate in а groupsex scene: 
“I think it must be an extension of the 
gangbang fantasy, but I'm convinced 
every girl wants to let go at least once. 


A dick in her mouth, another in her ass, 
some dimplefaced chicks aggressively 
slurp and maybe with luck, 
a fe honchos and honchesses jack- 


ing off and feeling her up. Thats got to 
be the popular remaining taboo. 
Eighteen percent of the males thought 
that m irls wanted to get involved 
with ge : "For 
Halloween, 1 floored my fiancée when I 
showed up at her ар 
the M is de Sade, complete wi 
whips, handculls, gags and other kinky 
S/M gear. 1 immediately culled her 


ment dressed as 


THE LAST TABOO 


hands behind her back. I almost talked 
her into spending an ‘educational’ night 
at her place, instead of our going off to 
some corny costume party, but she got 
more scared the more I pressed. Scared 
but excited. Next time, she'll surrender. 

Twelve percent of the males said the 
fems would Tike to have the nerve to 
turn a trick like a prostitute: “I go with 
an interior decorator. She's told me 
that many times when she arrives at 
some particularly attractive man's place, 
she finds herself romanticizing that she's 
really a high-class prostitute showing up 
to turn him on to the thrill of her body 
inste: 
Eleven percent of the males thought 
1 women could get into public exhibi 
jonism: "I've decided that every 
secretly harbors a desire to flash her 
and cunt to see if the male would appr 
te the merchandise. Unfortunately for 
us guys, most of the gals who feel that 
way like to do it only in the privacy 
of their pretty little heads.” 

Six percent of them decided that some 
women would love to learn to let a man 


1 of the color of the drapes. 


ud 


ls. 


culate i 
ix percent of the males rep! 
gals would want to discard 
sex taboo. 

Two percent of the men were su the 
females would express suppressed desire 
to rape а guy, while опе man thought 
that some girls wanted to give them- 
selves to a life of white slavery. 

. 


their mouths, while another 
ed that the 
their anal- 


©); women, WHAT SEXUAL 
TABOO DO YOU MOST WANT 
TO EXPLORE? 


riy percent of the females said 
they'd like to participate in a groupsex 
scene: "Right near where [ work as a 
b technician, а swingers’ club opened. 
One of the more adventurous fellows 1 
h invited me to check it out 
him. 1 had no trouble strippin 
nd partying amidst the room full of b 
bodies—cock: (з, cunts 
1 even made it with seve 
but only one by one. I just couldn't get 
up the nerve to fulfill my wildest fan- 
tasy. guess it’s still verboten lor me: I 
nt a trio of studs to dork me at the 
ame time. I would position myself on 
Н fours on a giant mattress to make it 
easier for their stiff dicks to enter me. 
One gently sliding up and down my 
throat, another burrowing away inside 
my pussy, while the third would case 
nto my ass, pumping back and forth. 
1 want us to pace ourselves so we all 
come at once, Someday. 

Nineteen perceat of the fen 
ed that they would event 
make it with a woman: “I'm kind of 
turned on by the idea of making it with 
someone of my own sex, but my life is so 
filled with boyfriends ГЇЇ never do it ra 
like to see if I could make some other 
woman squirm at my touch. Coukl I 
give her more orgasms than men do?" 

Sixteen percent of the females 
pressed a very strong desire to get 
volved with bondage and domination: 
7] was sailing with my boyfriend. There 
were lots of ropes on board and 1 really 
wanted. him to tie me up—spread-eagle 
on the deck, and blindlolded-—making 
ne his sexual prisoner, powerless, with 
him having total control and with me 
not knowing what would happen next. 
Would he tease me with his cock or the 
empty champagne bottle? The mystery 
is an incredible turn-on. 

Ten percent of the females sa 


re 
everywhere. 
super guy: 


les stat- 
ly like to 


ex- 


they 


73 


The evolution of the revolution. 
The new Bose iini M BirectiHeflecting speaker. 


When Bose introduced the orig- 
inal 9019 speaker, high-fidelity 
critics around the world hailed its 
revolutionary approach to sound 
reproduction. 

"Bose has, in a single giant step, 
produced one of the finest 
Speaker systems ever made.” 
(USA) 


"The orchestra is there in front 
and the atmosphere of the con- 
cert hall all around.” (Belgium) 


"Bose contains more technical 
innovations than any other 
speaker of the past 20 years." 
(Austria) 


“...sets new standards for loud- 
Speaker music reproduction.” 
(France) 


Now the 9019 has evolved. Again. 


Introducing the Bose 901 Series 
IV Direct/Reflecting® speaker 
system. With new equalizer con- 
trols that consider your room as 
part cf the speaker design. And 
a new answer to the problem of 
choosing an amplifier. 

It is a known fact that moving a 
speaker just a few feet in a room 
will alter its performance. And 
that the variances in a speaker's 
performance from one living 
room to the next can be vast. This. 
is a problem all speakers have 


regardless of design. Except one. 


А new approach to the study of 
listening room acoustics and an 
ambitious survey of many actual 
listening rooms has resulted in 
new equalizer controls for the 
Bose 901 IV. These controls allow 
you to simultaneously adjust 
Several bands of frequencies in a 
precise manner to match the per- 


formance of the 901 IV to your 
room. In a way that cannot be 
duplicated even with an expensive 
graphic equalizer. 

As a result, the 901 Series IV 
speakers perform as well in the 
living room as in the demonstra- 
tion room. 


Were our R— 9 
vue Lem 
to design Д = 
aspeaker || Re: 
specifically 4 

for your liv- | 

ing room, you ^x 

would not get T 


better sound =! 


than you do 
when you us 
properly adjust h 

» the equalizer t 
controls on the E 


Bose 901 Series IV. 


And the 901 IV provides a simple 
answer to the problem of choosing 
the power rating of your amplifier 
or receiver. Choose any amplifier 
you wish. The 901 IV provides 
surprisingly loud sound with as 


. little as 10 watts per channel. Yet it 


is durable enough forus to remove 
all power limitations on the 901 IV. 
There is no power limit. Period.” 


With these new improvements, the 
Bose 901 IV gives you a flexibility 
no other speaker can. You can 
place the 901 IV in'almost any 
room and get the life-like, spa- 
Cious sound for which the 901 IV 
Direct/Reflect- 
ing? speaker is 
famous. And you 
can match it to 
virtually any 
amplifier. 
We think that 
once you hear the 
new Bose 901 

IV Direct/Reflect- 
ing® speaker, 


evolved, 


BOSE: 


"There is a power limit in commercial appications. For information, contact Bose Customer Service. 


wanted to ty anal sex: “It’s certainly 
the new rage in kink, Not only is 
my steady always whispering into my car, 
"Please let me get into your ass, you'll 


love it? but almost all the 


ndom guys 


I sleep with also try. I can't do it, though 
I really get excited by the idea. I wish T 
could loosen up, im every sense of the 
word. I have let him get a finger inside 
me, and it really feels good. However, 
when he teases me with his cock, 1 auto- 
matically freeze up and can't go on." 
Seven percent said they'd like to have 
the nerve to have a fling as a prostitute. 
Four percent responded that they wanted 
10 become public exhibitionists, two per 
cent hoped they could e 
inhibition about a man's ejacu 


te their 


ating in 
their mouth and the rest of the women 
wanted to try incest: "Making it with 
my brother. That would be healthy." 


Ө: women, WHAT SEXUAL 
TABOO DO YOU THINK MEN 
MOST WANT TO EXPLOR 


Thirty-four percent of the females 


guessed that men wanted to partici 


in a groupsex scene: "The chairman of 
the pharmaceutical company where I 
work doesn't mind when his secretary 
quits. It gives him a wonderful oppor 
tunity to interview lots of gorgeous la 
dies. Im sure he'd give his chauffeured 
limo in return for the balls to pull oit 
a scene in which he was a dillerent kind 
of boss, playing the kingpin in a good 
[uckarama with a bevy of prospective 
applicints—trying them out ail at once, 
checking their sexual dexterity. 

Fifteen. percent ol the females be- 
lieved that guys would like to make it 
with a prostitute: “My boyfriend has 
never admitted his craving to me, but 
by the way he acts, he either wants 10 
hump a hooker or he's losing his mar 
bles. He can sit for hours, readit 
Joud the classified ads in the back of the 
sex rags—pointing out which whore ad 
vertises the most intriguing comc-on, 
which madam offers the most novel 
nooky. But at heart, he's the same as 
other men; vicarious pleasure is all he 
can handle. He's afraid to do anything 


out 


except windowshop.” 
Thirteen percent of the females 
thought that most men hi 


1 а repressed 
craving to commit rape: "When 1 was 
ТИ: 

a lover what almost happened to me, it's 


Imost raped. Every time I tell 


incredible; without exception, they get 
bet that sweet lock 
a chance, 


turned on. You 


on your door that given 
vape's what all those nice fellas we wom- 
en dare would want to try out, if it 
weren't so abhorred by society." 

Twelve percent of the females as- 
sumed that men secretly wanted to get 
involved with bondage and domii 
"Now that women can control the 


Not every man 
can handle Metaxa: 


There's no easy way to describe the taste of Metaxa. 
Except to say that its definitely not one of your kid-glove 
х TW drinks. When you taste Metaxa, you 
PS T know it. Апа you won't forget i 
\ Metaxa comes from Greece, where 
they understand such things. 
The Greeks drink Metaxa straight, 
_ by the fistful. Or sometimes 
^. asaStinger with a little 
more sting. 
Metaxa. Drunk by 
Gods and Warriors. And 
Men who can handle it. 


dus 
The 84 proof Greek: Ne rn 


© Austin, Nichols Со. Inc. N.Y, Sola Importers, 


75 


PLAYBOY 


“Paini and truy for Sueet Var shown available through Dealer or 
76 n 


HEAVY 


THE 79 ADULT TOYS FROM DODGE. "79 ADULT TOYS FROM DODGE. 


Macho Power Wagon is as mean as it 
looks. With V8 engine, four-wheel drive, 
spoke road wheels, and a roll bar, it's 

ready for any kind of on- or off-road 
situation. If you want to find out what 
truckin' is all about, get behind 

the wheel of one of these babies 


Macho Power Wagon 


Street Van 


Dodge has created a very special line of 
trucks for special kinds of people. 
People who are bored with humdrum 
cars and ho-hum trucks. 


Our Street Van* isa prime 
example. It's built for hauling, all right. But it 
looks more at home hauling cycles and 
surfboards than anything else. It comes 
with fat, raised white letter tires, white painted 
Spoke or chrome disc sport road wheels, high- Gur Mer 
back Command bucket seats, and a Adult Toy is the 
do-it-yourself — " | m. ё 
Customizing Kit 


(otherwise known as the 
Dodge Jr). Its got the 
biggest engine in 
its class, teamed up 
with a five-speed 
overdrive transmis- 
~ Sion. And it's got a way of handling 


Dodge Jr. Sport 


| curves that'll remind you of a sports car. 


METAL 


SOME WILD AND CRAZY MACHINES. 


Warlock II uses wooden stake 
Sides to enhance its classic tough 
look. It can work all 
day in the country 
and be ready for 
dinner at the country 
club that same night. 


Warlock It 


цас: 3 It just might be Your Dodge Truck Dealer can make it 
^ the ultimate awfully easy for you to drive one of these 

pickup. numbers. Because now you can lease one, 

just like a car, if you're not ready to buy Do 


Lodge the Adult Toys at your Dodge 
Ramcharger 4 x 4 У 
Dealers. They may be the only 
is an off-road 


machines around in 1979 that are 


four-wheel-drive 
as wild and crazy as you are. 


fun machine that 
doubles as a pickup 
and a recreational 


DODGE IS INTO TRUCKIN 
LIKE AMERICAS INTO JEANS. 


vehicle. In town, 
it can pose as a respectable 


station wagon 

for shopping trips 
or hauling the gang 
around. But get it 
out there in rugged 
four-wheelin' country 
and watch out! 


Macho 4х4 Ramcharger 


77 


PLAYBOY 


78 


Dont watch TV tonight. 
Play it! 


We're the games you play on your Atari is now a sophisticated, com- 
own TV set. puterized programmable unit that hooks 
We're the Atari Video Computer ^ up to your television in a matter of 
System. (Remember “Pong”? Well, that ^ seconds. 
was just the beginning.) Atarifeaturesa greater selection (20 
s different Game Program™ cartridges, 
over 1300 game variations and options 
—and with many more to come!). 

We're sport games. We're mind 
games. We educate. We entertain. 

We can be played by one player 
(against the computer), two players, 3 
ог 4. 

We're the system that's especially 
designed to change colors to protect 
and safeguard your TV tube from any 
damage. 

We offer crisper colors (when played, 
of course, on a color TV). 

We pride ourselves in truer-to-life 
sound effects, which play through your 
own TV's sound system. 

We're Atari. 

And if someone in your family hasn't 
asked for us yet, get ready. 

They're going to. 


а= АТ АРГ 


bedroom scene, | think a lot of men 
secretly would enjoy turning the tables 
again, roping chicks in through bondage. 
Гуе had only one guy tie me up. What 
night that was! He stretched me across 
the hood of my Volkswagen bug, spread 
my legs, secured my arms, gagged me and 
then threatened to drive me around as 
his new car ornament. 1 thought Г 
come just hearing his hard-nosed com- 
mands to lie perfectly still and submit to 
his mild tortures—tickling my vagina 
with the car-upholstery brush, What man 
wouldn't love to have the guts to ni 
а woman powerless to his prick.” 

The rest of the women came up with 
a variety of taboo topics for men, Seven 
percent of the females answered that 
men yearned to make it with young girls, 
while another seven percent of the fe- 
males replied that the fellas would want 
to abolish the analsex taboo. Five percent 

id that men would eventually like to 
get imo exhibitionism, four percent 
thought that men were curious about 
other men, and three percent thought 
that for some men, oral sex was still taboo. 

. 


©: MEN, WHAT SEXUAL ТА: 
WANT TO 
EX PLOR] 


Thirty-six percent of the males felt 
that anal sex was the taboo they would 
like to explore: “This desire to anally 
penetrate a woman started a Lew months 
ago and now it has turned into an over- 
whelming obsession. One of my exgirl- 
friends said she was sexually hung up on 
my ass. The first few nights, she showed 
me how arousing it was to have your 
anus kissed and licked. By the seco! 
week, she would gently stick fingers up 
me just as | came. Then she got me a 
vibrating dildo for a one-month anni- 
versary gilt. She wouldn't let me fuck her 
unless I let her shove it up my ass at the 
same time. She always prohibited me 
from doing anything to her posterior. I 
gave in to what she wanted because I was 
absolutely wild about her body. She 
broke up with me kist summer, when I 
refused to marry her. Since the split-up, 
I have a burning desire to fuck women 
the ass. 1 want to have that same pow 
er of pain over my new that 
ex had over me.” 

Twenty-seven percent of the males 
expressed а very strong desire to get 
volved with bondage and don 

ng a powerful broad, cc 

ling her into naked submission. Just the 
thought makes my cock swell. How could 
a guy as strong as | am not have the 
courage to act this out? 

enteen percent of the males said 
they'd like to participate in a group- 
sex scene: “As ап archacologist, 1 often 
find myself in weird places and strange 
situations. Recently, six of us, four men 


Only good music. Music without distortion. If your turntable is 2 BSR 
Quanta® turntable. You see, with the introduction of the Quanta models 


600, 700 anid BOO, BSR has created 
NO MORE 227257 
Other turntables reduce resonance. BSR virtually 
eliminates resonance with concrete and foam 
Low-frequency absorbing 
VIBRATIONS. 7:7 
frequency absorbing foam. 


Not one little vibration thanks to the isolation of the resonance-tuned 
suspension feet 

No acoustical feedback. Just beautiful sound. And thats only the 
beginning. 

On every BSR Quanta turntable is an S-shaped statically balanced 
tonearm. Viscous damped cueing for perfectly smooth arm movement. 
‘And on the Quanta 800 is the most accurate Quartz Phase-Locked 
Loop direct drive motor in existence. The quartz 
generated pulsed LED strobe display provides visual 
monitoring of the speed 


BSR Quarta turntables. Non-resonating. Not bad. 
QUANTA” 


ESR Consume Poducs Grup, Ве 308 Mawete NY AL +Dotouted i Carada by BSR Canada LIA, Келдик. Ont * Quarta aregteed vade a o S USA U 


79 


THE ORDINARY WAY TO 
ECT AND STORE SLIDES HAS BEEN 
ROUND LONG ENOUGH. 


PLAYBOY 


"That's why Bell & Howell invented the improvement: 
Slide Cube™ System II. It's an extraordinary way to project, 
Store, and enjoy your slides. К 

Everything to look for in a slide projector you'll find in 
Slide Cube System Il. Precision optics. Dependable slide 
handling. Efficient slide cooling. 

There are also extras to see and hear. Like handsome 
projector styling, quiet operation, and an exclusive preview/ 
edit window that shows every slide before projection. 

. . To organize and store slides, there are 
ingenious Slide Пес 

that hold slides in one-eighth the 
space for about one-third the cost of 
round slide trays. Cartridges pro- 
tect slides from dust, light, 
smudges, and warping. Since 
there are no slots to fill, up to 40 
slides can be loaded and ready 
to show in seconds. : 

Anordinary slide pro- 
jector won't save money, 
space, and time like Slide “ex 


ube Eum П. So ask a 
Bell & Howell dealer to є 
demonstrate the improvement. 


SLIDE CUBE SYSTEM Il 


BELL 2 HOWELL- MAMIYA COMPANY ©1978 Ali Ri hts Reserved. 
Bell & Howell and Slide Cube are Bell & Howell Company trademarks. For more information write: 
80 Bell & Howell * Mamiya Company, Dept. PB-26,7100 McCormick Road, Chicago, IL 60645 


and two women, got stationed in an iso- 
lated spot for months. Propinquity even- 
tually took over. Pretty soon, it was dig 
all day and into the tents at night; it 
was one big pile of Ph.Ds, except for 
me, balling their LQ.s out. If only I 
could uncover the cause of my inhibi- 
Чоп as easily as I uncover ancient 
civil ns." 

Seven percent of the males responded 
they'd like to have the nerve to rape 
a woman: “Jail is one apartment house 
I never intend to live in, which is why 
1 don't take my obsession about raping 
women any further th. the limits of 
ination.” 

The rest of the men gave an assort- 
ment of answers, Six percent said they'd 
like to make it with other guys. F 
percent hoped they could eliminate th: 
inhib d learn to ejaculate in a 
woman's mouth. Two percent answered 
that they would like to be daring enough 
to slip their dates an aphrodisiac, and 
one man confessed a desire to become a 
gigolo, 

Summary: Almost half the women (40 
percent) said group gropes were the for- 
bidden fruit they'd like to sample. For 
years, they've been tokl by books, movies 
and TV that the sexual capacity of a she 
is superior to that of a he. At ап orgy, 
the new le can see just how far her 
body can really go. It's the perfect oppor- 
tunity to discover how many "Ohs" make 
up the highly touted multiple orgasm. 

However, women have become so fas- 
cinated with the idea of 
selves into these physi 
that 34 percent of them wrongly sur- 
mised that men would feel that way 
When, in reality, half that number (17 
percent) expressed that preference. 

The “second-largest. female category 
was the stated desire to make love to 
a Ten actually guessed 
inclination would run high; 
‚ for themselves, the homosex 
taboo hardly pique own sense of 
carnal adventure. For a woman, experi- 
mentation with lesbianism is considered 
a permissible step in her sexual develop- 
ment; it doesn't brand her for lile. On 
the other hand, a gay experience for guys 
can leave an indelible stigma il it’s 
found out. 

The self-imposed embargo of screwing 
women in the ass is the ban that 36 per 
ї to overcome, a 
ment shared by only ten percent of 
the women. A common theme heard 


nowa 


man feels good conquering new ground. 
What's the final word on taboos? Is 
there anything out there not worth try- 
ing? One free spirit came up with the 
best revelation: “The only unnatural sex 

act is that which you cannot perform.” 
—HOWARD SMITI 


THERE IS ONLY ONE JOY... 
THE COSTLIEST PERFUME IN THE WORLD 


PLAYBOY 


82 


RCA announces 
SelectaVision 400. 


Thevideo cassette recorder 
turns on and off 


andc 
fora 


s channels 


ole week 


wall by itself. 


Think of the four 
shows you want to put 
on video tape this week. 
The game on Monday, the 
special on Wednesday, perhaps 
the Friday movie, or something 
educational for the kids. 

Now, simply by touching a few buttons, 
you program your selections into the timer of 
the incredible new SelectaVision 400. The rest is 


automatic: The 400 will turn itself on at kickoff 


time, silently record the 
game, then turn itself 
off. When іс time for 
your second selec- 
tion, the 400 turns 
itself to the proper 
channel and starts 
recording again —auto- 
matically. The entire 
schedule is preset by you 
up toa whole week in 
advance—as many as 
four different shows or even the same program 
for seven straight days. And you've got up to 
four hours before changing cassettes. 


пел Ab 


The 4005 programmable timer 
turs the recorder on andoff and 


changes channels—auiomatically 
Setit upto seven diys in advance! 


CAUTION: The unauthorized 
recording of television pro 
grams and other materials may 
infringe the rights of others. 


The 400 has more going 
for it. Like the maximum 
time available on a single 
cassette —up to 4 hours. Plus 
new clectronic channel selection. 
Remote pause control. Direct-drive 
motor. Special circuitry that auto- 
matically compensates for changing signal 
strength. And quality video tape made 

to our own rigid 
specifications. 

It's all 
there in the 
new 400. 

So5 something else. 
Our new optional color 
cameras. With a Canon C002 features a Canon 6:1 
6:1 zoom lens. An elec Som ler 
tronic viewfinder. And a price that puts 
home color productions well within your 


budget. 

"The new RCA SelectaVision 400. The 
4-hour video cassette recorder with the 7-day 
memory. 


Optional color 
cametas let you 
create your own home 
SelectdVision productions. Model 


Let RCA turn your television into 


ectaVision. 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


a continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers 


BEACH BRAWLS 
How could you take "How to Achieve 
Orgasm" so lightly (The Playboy Forum, 
August)? 1 think the lady's onto some- 
thing. Sigmund Freud theorized that our 
basic energy (libido) is sexual and aggres- 
sive. That would explain why her release 
of aggressive energy while fighting with 
another woman on a beach would lead 
to a release of sexual energy later: “That 
experience, 1 
h my boyfriend." 
esting that women punch 
people out in order to enjoy sex. How- 
ever, a game of football might be worth 
a try. Or how about a pillow fight? 
Kennan Derby 
Eureka, California 


SEX IN THE SNOW 
Оп а sno d weekend last winter, 
with drifts measuring cight to ten feet, 
my lover and 1, being in an adventurou 
mood, began a search for the ultimate in 
ism. We donned innocent 
« The zippers started at our 
throats and traveled to our crotches. 
Underneath we were naked. We forged 
our way to the highest snowbank, where 
we proceeded to hollow out a romantic 
niche. We quickly stripped ourselves and 
fell into a sainst the icy 
snow. The shock of the sub-zero tempera- 
ture created a multitude of tingles 
throughout our bodies and when my 
lover thrust his stiff cock into my warm 
cunt, we came almost instantly. After 
ward, we retreated to a hot, steamy show: 
cr and then climbed into our soft bed 
and drifted off into a contented slumber. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Lansing, Michigan 
Maybe you enjoyed coming almost in- 
stantly, bul it seems premature for your 
boyfriend. 


sexual его 


WILDLIFE 

My husband and I are а 
not the colony or camp type but the 
greatoutdoors kind. He and | are school- 
chers and spend our vacations in the 
aten trails. We back- 


nudists— 


as off the bi 


and 


strip for the sun 
weeks. We put something on only when 
the weather js cold, and to hell with any 
stray fishermen. 

With this kind of nudity, sex can occur 
most any time of the day, Our greatest 
enjoyment is to play bondage games 
after some foreplay. One day I was 


spread-cagled on the ground and having 
my pubic area shaved and my clit teased, 
all prior to a wonderful screw. Just then, 
а man and a woman fishing along the 
stream yelled, "Can we watch the final 
act?” What joy it was to show other folks 
the fun we have 


ıe withheld by request) 
Ojai, California 

We're waiting for a letter. from the 
other couple, describing what they en- 
countered while fishing in the Siskiyou 
Mountains, 


“The thought of 


watching strangers 


pumpin’ and hump 
turns her off.” 


HOME ENTERTAINMENT 

For years, I have been uying to talk 
my wife into watching Xrated home 
vies. She has protested that they don’t 
appeal to her and, in fact, the thought 
of watching strangers pumpin’ and 
humpin’ turns her off. The other night. 
we heard a car drive into а parking lot 
next door and my wile peeked through 
the bedroom window and whispered, 
“You wouldn't believe what Tm watch- 
ing." 1 joined her at the window to find 


a scene right out of a stag film. A very 
need lady was giving head to the 
nd my wife thought the antics 
would surely give the girl whiplash, con- 
sidering the energy that was being ex 
pended. Slowly 1 realized that she was 
fascinated with the scene; the couple 
turning on and us watching the per 
formance. Unfortunately, my wile 
quired а dose of respectability at the 
wrong moment and declared that she 
was going to call the police, because re- 
cently there had been some breaking and 
entering in the area. I talked her out 
of that and soon the episode 
but we proceeded to reenact the crime, 
so to speak, and I found my wife really 
got into it. 


ove 


(Name withheld by request) 
Iaryland 


THE MEASURE OF A MAN 

Consider the implications of the m 
sage-parlor lady's findings regarding penis 
size (The Playboy Forum, August). Either 
the population of men with penises cight 
inches or more in length is rather small 
or those men who are so endowed do not 
ordinarily patronize massage parlors. 
This latter hypothesis may have some 
teresting ramifications. For example, if 
there is any relationship between pro- 
fessional or vocational activity and penis 
size. it may be possible to better structure 
our media for entertainment or. indeed, 
employment, based on the population of 
big pricks as compared with small 

1 would like to propose the following 
study. Women, and in some cases men, 
various service or other worthwhile oc- 
cupations could be recruited to collect 
the hard data, To collect such data, one 
would necd only a firm resolve and a 


tape measure (equipment costs would һе 
low). The aims of the study—namely, to 
"democratize" our work and pleas- 
ht even make such research 
eligible for Federal funding. If enough 
volunteers can be found to act as data 
collectors, the funds necessary to com- 
plete the study might be small enough 
isfy even Senator Proxmire. 
Harvey Monder 
Binghamton, New York 


Tread with much amusement the letter 
from the masseuse who stated that she 
had measured almost 1700 erect cocks and 
that 97 percent of them were about si 
aches. 1 am а 45-year-old woman who 
has come into contact with more than 
3000 erect cocks in the course of 1500 


83 


PLAYBOY 


s and numerous swinging- 
couple affairs with my husband of 22 
years and I have measured 2500. 

Eighty-five percent of those have, in 
deed, been six inches or less in erection 
( you measure from underneath the 
balls, as 1 do). but the other 15 percent 
have ranged all the way up to М and a 
halt inches. and that includes my hus- 
band's own 12-inch pussy plea 
run across more than 100 that were ten 
inches or longer and I have to say that 
while many of those well-endowed men 
were not very good lovers, I received 
much more pleasure from them th 
from studs with puny peckers, I am sim 
ply one of those women some would 
refer to as size queens. I even belong to a 
Los Angeles-based swing club where the 
criterion for membership is that men 
must be hung at least seven inches. 

My husband. supports and. encourages 
me in my cock-measuring hobby and we 
now have several dozen scrapbooks full of 
color shots of me measuring well-endowed 
men, 1 can even state with pride that our 
four tecnaged sons have turned out to be 
as well hung as their daddy—t ki 
ken their measurements 
birthday since they were 12. I also hı 
two sexy daughters, both of whom h: 
been encouragéd to make love without 
guilt to their boyfriends—especially with 
those who are well hung, In fact, my 20- 
year-old daughter has just gotten engaged 
to a wonderful young man whom she has 
measured at 12 and a half inches, and I 
couldn't be happier. 

Mrs, C. Brown 
Los Angeles, California 


swing par 


having 


ous articles and letters 
ne that make reference to the 
penis. How 


your 


to my knowledge, telling where you start 
. (I know where to end.) I 
would love to know exactly how big a 
yfriend is—in inches, that is. 
Y hheld by request) 
Bloomington, Minnesota 
Some people use a tailor's cloth tape 
measure, start at the belly button, con- 
form to the curves and come up with 12 
to 15 inches, but that’s cheatin; 
rLAvBov-approved method is si 
that used by horse people to measure the 
height of the animal: so many hands high 
(for fractions, use fingers). 


GOOD FOR LAUGHS 

Your Forum Newsfront item in the 
August issue about kids’ sniffing nitrous 
oxide out of whipped-cream cns re 
minds me of a very sexy dentist who has 

1 me of three cavity-ridden teeth. 
t time I went to him, I had heard 
so many horror stories about dentalwork 
that T was not a very good ра 
the next trip, he hooked me up to a t 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


CONFUSED ROOSTERS 

EAST LANSING, NIGIGAN—À New Mex- 
ico researcher, attending а dairy- and 
animal-science convention at Michigan 
State University, has reported progress 
in gelling hens to lay two eggs a day 
through the use of female hormones. 
He added that some male chickens sim- 
Папу treated developed female traits. 
One such bird was described as flirting 


with other roosters and trying to “act 
as female as he could.” Although the 
same rooster “would just cluck and sing 
and give me all these promises,” it laid 
по eggs. 


PROSTITUTION RING BROKEN 

WEST PLAINS, MISSOURI—A Nebraska. 
man and his wife, both 70 years old, 
have been fined $200 after allegedly 
soliciting a deputy for prostitution. 
The price asked, according to the offi- 
cer, was ten dollars. The original 
charges—transporting а woman for pur- 
poses of prostitution and soliciting— 
were reduced to “lewdness” when the 
elderly couple agreed to pay а fine of 
3100 cach and leave town. 


EQUAL RIGHTS 

BELLEVUE, WASHINGYON—The U.S. 
Department of Health, Education and 
Welfare has finally decided that stu- 
dents in Bellevue schools can be 
spanked without violating Federal 
guidelines—as long as teachers admin- 
ister the spankings nondiscriminate 
The issue came up in 1972, when Shir- 
ley Amiel, a registered nurse, the moth- 
єт of three daughters and a foe of child 
abuse, complained to HEW about sex 
discrimination and corporal punish- 


ment, After determining that during 
the 1975-1976 school year 30 boys and 
only two girls had been spanked, the 
HEW regional office in Seattle advised 
that “the Bellevue public schools must 
submit a plan that would guarantee 
equal treatment on the ba 


is of sex in 
discipline matters, and in particular 
the administering of corporal punish- 
ment.” Commented the original com. 
plainant: “After waiting six years for 
an answer, all they said was, you have 
to beat as many girls as boys.” 


BOMBED IN A BAR 

ACAPULCO—4Àn unidentified. man en- 
tered a local bay at two AM. and or- 
dered а drink. When the bartender 
refused to serve him because it was clos- 
ing lime, the would-be customer became 
irate, walked outside and tossed in a 
hand grenade, blowing up the bar and 
injuring 20 people. 


EXPERT GUESSWORK 

The authors of an American Civil 
Liberties Union handbook, “The 
Rights of Mental Patients,” has raised 
doubts about the value of using psy 
chologists and. psychiatrists аз expert 
witnesses in court. Mental-health pro- 
fessionals agree wilh one another only 
31 percent of the lime on some ques- 
tions—only slighity better than the law 
of averages—and shrinks were able to 
agree only 10 percent of the time on 
whether or not a particular patient was 
suffering from a specific functional 
disorder 


GOOD TRY 

INDIANAPOLIS—The Indiana Supreme 
Court has rejected the appeal of a con 
victed male murderer who wanted to 
serve his life sentence in а women's 
prison. The prisoner had argued that 
he was bemg arbitrarily denied the 
right to engage in relations with the 
opposite sex and that it was "cruel and 
unusual punishment to impose a life- 
time of celibacy, contrary to an in 
mate's natural biological drive." The 
court held otherwise and said that the 
prisoner had already forfeited his right 
to “pursue his amorous pleasures as if 


he were a [ree man 


GOING DOWN 
WASHINGTON, вс Те U.S. Drug 
Enforcement Administration believes 


that concern over paraquat spraying in 
Mexico may account for the changing 


pattern of airplane crashes involving 
marijuana smugglers. The DEA reports 
that crashes of planes coming from 
South America more than tripled in 
the Bahamas and Florida. in 1978, 
while crashes in О. 5-Мехісо border 
states have declined by 66 percent. 


SELF-PRESERVATION 
WASHINGTON, p.c—A U.S. Circuit 
Court of Appeals has held that prison- 
ers who flee from jail can attempt to 
defend themselves against the charge of 
escape by citing bad jail conditions. 
The court ordered new trials in the 
cases of four men who argued that they 
escaped from a Washington, D.C., jail 
not to obtain freedom but to survive 
intolerably dangerous conditions. 


BACKFIRE 

DECATUR, ILLINOIS —4 male prisoner 
in the Macon County Jail who claimed 
he was homosexually raped found him- 
self, in turn, charged with prostitution. 
Officers who investigated said they 
learned. that the inmate willingly had 
sold sexual favors to another prisoner in 
exchange for commissary supplies. 


OFFICERS FRIENDLY 
A Los Angeles newspaper reports 
ihat two Santa Ana vice cops figured 
out a novel way to do their duty and 
ulsu save the taxpayers two dollars. 
When they noted that admission to a 
porno parlor was five dollars a person 


от eight dollars a couple, they held 
hands, demanded and received the spe- 
cial rate. The paper didn't say what 
they did after being admitted. 


LIBBERS LOSE 
nammurc—The popular German 
magazine Stern has survived a major 
lawsuit brought by ten prominent 
women allem pling lo stop il from pub- 
lishing cover pictures о] attractive 


nudes. The plaintiffs, including a pub- 
lisher, an author, a psychoanalyst and 
several actresses, had sought a court 
order restraining the magazine from 
carrying such “insulting” pictures in 
the future, but a Hamburg judge said 
he could set no absolute standards. 
That, he said, would be up to the na- 
tional parliament, not the courts, and 
he ordered the plaintiffs to pay an es- 
timated $50,000 in legal costs. 


PARENTAL UNDERSTANDING 

cMicAco—4m — SLyearold тап, 
chained to a bathroom radiator for a 
week, beaten, starved and robbed of 
some $2300, has refused to press 
charges against his 19-year-old daugh- 
ter and her male friend who were ac- 
cused of the crime. He explained to 
police, “Wilk women, you have to 
overlook some things.” 


LACK OF CONVICTIONS 

cuicaco—A computer study of cases 
heard in the Cook County Criminal 
Court from 1974 through 1976 indicates 
that nearly half the defendants charged 
with murder went free. The data 
shows that о] 1631 accused murderers, 
only 863, or 52.9 percent, were con- 
vicled and that the conviction rale jor 
таре or attempted rape was cen lower, 
515 percent 


PROTECTION OF THE GUILTY 

WASHINGTON, nc.—Onby one rape 
complaint in 20 results in identification 
of a suspect and less than three percent 
lead to a conviction, a recent study has 
found. It further estimates that some 
250,000 rapes are committed cach year, 
while only 56,000 ате reported to po 
lice. The investigators found that many 
women did not report being atlacked 
for fear of the treatment they would 
receive by police and the courts. The 
study, conducted by the Batelle Memo- 
rial Institute Law and Justice Study 
Center in Scattle with a grant from the 
Law Enforcement Assistance Adminis- 
tration, added: “It seems ironic that it 
is the viclim, not the offender, who is 
often deterred by fear of the criminal 
justice system." 


SURPRISE ENDING 
CLEVELAND Гө the surprise and dis- 
may of the prosecutor, a Federal-court 
jury acquitled a major pornography 
distributor and. six employees of ob- 
scenity charges after deciding that an 
average person does not have a pruri- 
ent interest in sex. The jurors agreed 
that 12 films and 21 magazines in- 
volved in the case were “morbid, 
shameful and lewd,” but then advised 
the U. S. district-court judge that they 
had difficulty with ihe definition of 


prurient interest: “The major problem 
is thal we are convinced that the aver- 
age person has а normal, healthy ve- 
sponse to sex [and is incapable] of 
having a shameful or morbid interest 
in sex or excretions, Therefore, the first. 
halj of the definition of prurient inter- 
est... is по! relevant to the average 
person.” In his instructions to the jury, 
the judge had said that U.S. Su- 
preme Court. guidelines on obscenity 
required that the material in question 
must appeal to an average person's 
prurient interest, defined as “a shame- 
[ul or а morbid interest in sex or ex- 
cretion or material having a tendency 
to excite lustful thoughts.” 


DOPERS 700, NARCS 900 

Newspaper columnist Jack Anderson 
has taken the Federal Drug Enforce- 
ment Administration io task for al- 
legedly goofing off on the job—and 


allowing drug smugglers io get off with 
“an astonishing 700 pounds of hashish” 
that had already entered the country 
and was under surveillance. Tt seems 
that it was staked out at New York's 
John F. Kennedy Airport, but while 
опе agent was eating lunch and an- 
other was calling his office, somebody 
slipped in with a forklift and made 
off with a 700-pound crate of hash that 
Лай arrived. on п flight from London. 
He left behind another crate contain- 
ing 900 pounds of the same drug. 


SELF-DEFENSE 

BAYTOWN, TEXAS—A 22-year-old wom- 
ап 1014 police that she narrowly avoid- 
ed being raped by Unowing up on her 
attacker. She said she had been dragged 
into a van, which one man drove while 
another began removing her clothes at 
knife point—until she vomited on her 
assailant. Al that the man became an- 
gry and she was taken back to her ear 
and released, unharmed. 


PLAYBOY 


86 


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of nitrous and 1 relaxed, to say the least, 
The only problem was when the dentist 
said, "Open wide .. . wider. mis, 
tic! What are you doing Saturday nigh?” 
I nearly fell ош of the chair laughing 


while trying to keep my mouth open. (At 

Teast it seemed very funny at the time.) 
(Name withheld by request) 
Chicago, Ilinois 


We don’! know why nilrous oxide is 
used as a propellant in whipp. 
cans, but they don't call it laughing gas 
for nothing. 


l-cyeam 


WOMAN'S BEST FRIEND 

I. too, hope that the cat that clawed 
the balls of the Ohio man lying nude « 
his couch somehow aged to survive— 
referring, of course, to the cat, and as 
suming thar its owner was not mortally 
wounded (The Playboy Forum, July) 
Bue what do I do about our dog? We 
have a le Airedale that trics 
every n to climb into bed. worm 
his way under the covers and lick my 
wiles private parts. And while she pre 


ne withheld by request) 
Columbus, Ohio 

We took your problem to the Playboy 
Advisor and he seemed to think that 
either you or we were pulling him on. 
He advises that you locate a female Aire- 
dale and display enough affection toward 
the beast that your male dog becomes 
jealous and contents himself with onc 
of his owen species 


GETTING STRAIGHT 

I found the letter titled * 
sure” from Lancaster, 
Playboy Forum, August) quite amusing. 
1 quickly learned that by nor smoking 
pot 1 am labeled smart and the only 
thing Гуе found myself without is а lot 
of asshole acquaintances. A true friend 
will respect vou for your lifestyle. 

\ little over а year ago. I was arrested 
for selling a quarter pound of pot to an 
n The whole experi 
sh to persuade me 
Since Гус dis. 
ws. 1 feel 100 
п better he 


undercover police 
ence wi 


scary спо 


to “get my shit together 
continued the use of dru 
percent better. 1 am 
than Гуе ever 
your friendly neighborhood n 

I have a comment based о 
ence with drugs. This one is for the po. 
lice офсет who wrote to The Playboy 
Forum in May. It is 1 that young 
people do not use to intention- 
ally escape the problems of growing up. 
escape is the result of using 
ability to function 
al world. 1 do not wish to 
stereotype the “high society.” D have 
seen people who can handle it, But the 


Ith now 


my expe 


The need 


(Playboy Casebook” follows on page 90. 
Letters continued on page 92.) 


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90 


Playboy Casebook 


A CLOSE CALL FOR CLAUDIA 


an ohio case raises the question: how many innocent people have 
gone to prison because they lacked the money and the means to defend themselves? 


t February, police in Columbus, 
Ohio, found the bodies of 52-year-old 
nightclub owner Robert McCann, his 
26-year-old girlfriend and his 77- -old 
mother shot to death in an apparent 
robbery by home invasion. The killings 
were particularly brutal: The victims 
1 been shot many times and beaten or 
stripped. or both. F weeks later, 
Claudia Yasko, a 97. ld nightclub 
waitress, presented herself to police, 
waived her right to have an attorney 
present and confessed to the killings, 
naming two male friends as her accom- 
plices. The three were quickly indicted, 
with death-penalty specifications, on the 
basis of Claudia's lengthy statement that 
described the night of the murders in 
vivid and gruesome detail. Case closed 
or so it seemed, 

But by the time Columbus attorney 
Lewis William Dye undertook Claudia's 
defense, police ballistics experts were 
discovering tha ne gun used in 
the McCann killings—and not found — 
had since been used im other, similar 


Claudia was locked up. Then they dis- 
covered that the same gun had been 
used in at least two murde: 
fore Claud 
same 22caliber Lugerstyle pistol was 
the weapon im even more recent mur- 
ders—a grand total of nine at last count, 
And, meanwhile, quite a few other facts 
were turning up to suggest that Claudia 
ht be more a victim than a criminal, 
When attorney Dye talked with Senior 
Editor Bill Helmer of the Playboy De- 
fense Team, he opened the conversation 
with a line that deserves repeating: "I'm 
a criminal-defense lawyer in Columbus, 
Ohio, and I've got quite an unusual 
situation on my hands—t think I've got 
a client who is totally innocent.” 

Dye explained that initially he'd rep- 
resented one of Claudia’s friends and 
since had agreed to defend Claudia at 
mo fee because he thought something 


very fishy was going on. He'd discovered 
that CL d a history of emotional 
problems, had been in and out of 


y and mental institutions since she 
s 14 and had previously confessed to 
mes that either had never occurred or 
t she could not have committed. A 
rist who had treated her in the 
ad testified at a court hearing 
that she seemed to have no inclination 
to violence but was a consummate actress 
who might well persuade the police, 
indeed herself, that she was guilty of 
almost anything. 


And in this case, the Franklin Coun 
ty prosecutor, George Smith, who hap- 
pened to be running for a higher state 
office, seemed especially anxious to try 
a suspect and declare a victory. Frank- 
lin County has some of the most clab- 
orate crime-fighting facilities in the 
country and is а virtual showcase for 
Federally funded law-enforcement pro- 
grams. But it has no great track record 
for solving crimes, and both Smith and 
his chief prosecuting attorney, James 
O'Grady, needed to recover from much 
bad publicity over their handling of 
another major case. In 1975, Smith and 
O'Grady had obtained a confession and 
a guilty plea from a young retard- 
ed man accused of murdering а 14-у 


Claudia Yasko, followed by attorney Lewis Dye, leaves the county jail for women at Co- 
lumbus, Ohio, where she was held for nearly three months while awaiting trial for murder. 


old girl, only to have the victim's own 
parents support a drive that eventually 
got him a vial. The jury found hi 
confession false and him innocent, only 
three months before Claudia's arre: 
(In reporting Ohio's “.22-caliber kill- 
ings" The New York Times concluded 
on this note: "Mr. Smith, who is running 
for state attorney general on the Republ 
n line, was campaigning in Cincinn 
today and could not be reached for com- 
ment. He is preparing to try Claudia 
Yasko, a waitress, for the McCann mur- 


ders. . .- But Franklin County detect 
barely concealed their scorn for N 
Smith's contention that Miss Yasko is one 
of the killers. . . .") Recently, investiga- 
tors have found other cases where they 
suspect the county may have obtained 
convictions of innocent persons. 

What Claudia's attorney wanted from 
PLAYBOY was the kind of legal research 
and investigation it would take to pre- 
pare a defense. Dye said that Claudia 
had been secretly interrogated for some 
11 hours and had given а 158-pa 
statement that was absolutely h: 
ng and sounded both plausible and 
gruesome enough to give the impres- 
sion of a dosed case, if he could not 
counter it point by point. He specu 


lated that the prosecutor knew that and 
s counting on his avoiding trial by 
having Claud 
institution, That would have 
on and 


y committed to a 


spared her the risk of a convi 
a possible death sentence and would 
have given ance of a success- 
ful prosecution in a sensational case. 
PLavuoy's Helmer met with Burt 
Joseph of the Playboy Foundation and 
they decided that while murder was not 
the kind of legal issue we ordinarily 
deal with, this case was exceptional. It 


ppea 


RUM REVELATIONS. 


Surprising facts every rum drinker should know. 


Ah, whatrum drinkers | toenhance the flavor. So discover 


don'tknow aboutrum. for yourself the dash that Myers's 
So Муег thinks it's 


time to raise some 
eyebrows. 


The first fact of rum. 
, Rum comesin three 
shades: white, gold, and 
dark. Some light rums are 
blended to havea barely 
noticeable taste. Their 
flavor might fade in the 
drink. But Myers’s is 
blended specially tobe 
more flavorful. The Myers's 
comes through the mixer. 


extra punch Myers's adds toa 
Planters’ Punch. Here are the 
recipes for your pleasure. 


Myers's Planters' Punch: 
Combine in shaker, 3 oz. orange 
juice, juice of lemon or lime, 
oz. Myers. Add 1 tsp. superfine 
sugarand dash of grenadine. Shake 
well and serve in tall glass filled 


Another surprise. 
Dark rum isn't any stronger than 
lightrum. Both are the same 
alcoholic proof. So Myers's isn't any 
stronger, even though it hasa 
tastier rum flavor. 
More revelations. 
Myers'sis more expensive. It's 
imported from Jamaica where it's 


WORLD FAMOUS 
IMPORT 


made 


slowly, in small batches. 


adds to a simple Rum & Cola. The 


with ice. Add orange slice, cherry. 


Myers's Rum and Cola: 
Into a highball glass, add 11502. 
Myerss Rum. Fill glass with cola 
beverage. Add slice of lemon or 
lime, and stir. 

And finally, one last point. 
Dark rum is better to use in 
cooking than light rum. Myers's 
adds a fuller rum flavor to foods. 
Try sprinkling Myerssover 
grapefruit halves. It's a simple way 


to create an interesting first course. 
Myers's makes so many rum recipes 
even more delicious. 
Sonow that you know the facts, 
your choice should be clear: 
Myerss Rum. 
Becausc if you likc rum, 


time 
you discovered the pleasures that 
wait for you in the dark. 


The richer taste is worth the time. 
And the price. 


Still another little known fact. 
Caribbean bartenders mix Myérs's 
into exotic drinks made with 
lighter rums. They trust Myers's 


Next to Myers’s 


All other Rums 


Seem Pale. 


Imported by Seagram Distillers Co., 375 Park Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022, 80 Proof. 


PLAYBOY 


seemed appropriate to lend Dye the 
services of Russ Million, a legal investi 
мог for the Playboy Defense Team. 
Both Helmer and Million went to 
Columbus to talk with Claudia in pris- 
on and to examine her confession. They 
were first surprised to discover that 
Claudia did not even realize that she'd 
confession. When that word w 
used by her attorney, she corrected 
It was only a "statement"; she 


investigation. She went on to ex- 

that she was a psychic: “I was 

only there in mind, not in body. Why 
'ı they understand that?” 


sion, it was cl 
had had little underst: 
was going on. In response to the inter- 
могу questions, she didn't know the 
time of day or even what year it was 
explaining that she was on prescribed 
medication for her emotional problems. 
As to whether or not she understood 
her legal rights, carefully spelled out 
over several minutes, she said, “I really 
don't undersund anything. Im so 
mixed up and confused." Later, after 
much reiteration and coaxing, she said, 
"Yes" 
Million stayed in Columbus for nea 
ly two weeks of investigation and inter- 
ws and concluded that Claudia's 
blow-by-blow confession was largely fic 
tion based an widely reported. facts. A 
jury might ha xpected to 1 
ve it in the absence of any rebuttal, 
but not an experienced. police olficer 
or a prosecutor. Almost every question 
was answered wrong, inconclusively or 
with a groggy question. Her few right 
answers were virtually spoon-fed, or 
rived at by a process of elimination. 
‘The interrogator cannot be accused of 
impatience or roughness, Не seemed to 
soon persuade hi 
her best fr 
factor. In return, Claudia scemed to do 
her best to pl n with her answers. 


subject that he was 
nd her greatest benc- 


After determining that little in 
Claudia's confession conformed to the 
details of the crime, rrAvnoy also di: 

no 

and 
no circumstan other 
words, nothing—connecting. Claudi. 
with the McCann murders or any of 
the other killings. С then passed 
a privately administered polygraph test 
arranged by Dye and Million and vol- 
unteered to be questioned under sodi 
wm amytal, which was not done for 
medical reasons. 

With Dye refusing to make any dez 
ad declaring that the defense was рг 
pared, the county prosecutor finally 
dropped the charges—on a Thursday, 

two days after he had won the nomi, 
tion for state attorney general and be- 
fore Claudia's trial was t» begin on 
the following Monday. 

At the point where PrAvmov inter- 
vented. Claudia's trial looked | a 
certainty. As the police ballistics ex- 
perts tied more and more killings to 
the same gun, the local press the n 
tional press and even city and coun 
police officers began shaking their heads 

nent over the Yasko prose- 

up to the time the charges 
were dropped, the prosecution insisted 
it had a good case. And in a way it d 
Confronted with Claudia's confession, 
her unsavory lifestyle as a waitress and 
sometimes а dancer in topless bars and 
her lack of money, many attorneys 
would have tried for a psychiatric com- 
mitment or a bar . But jus- 
tice hardly would have been served, 
and in any event, it has suffered a set- 
back. The county prosecutor's office has 
nother black eye, and having revealed 
what few cards it was holding in the 
McCann and other killings, it may well 
have provided the real killer or killers 
with useful information they could one 
day usc 
Try 
later prosecution. суеп more. difficult. 


pr 
ye released 


ea Suepeet Сеге 
MeCanm fy Remains 


SM 
“Outrage AY 


Local newspapers repart the arrest of Claudia Yasko ond other developments in the bizorre 
cose of the “.22-caliber killings"—a series af at least nine murders still unsolved in Ohio. 


majority of the dopers can't: and it ain't 
for me, baby! 

My dear 22-year-old female from Lan- 
caster, this 19-vear-old dude from Lafay- 
ette sincerely hopes that you do not do 
what everybody else has been doing here 
lately. The beans in jail are terrible. 

One more message I wish to convey. 
This to the narcs of America: Keep up 
the good work. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Lafayette, Indiana 


In answer to the girl from Lancaster 
I just want to say, “Bullshit.” I have 
plenty of friends and I'm a 20-year-old 
le who doesn't smoke pot or cigarettes 
and doesn't drink. My friends don't care 
that I don't smoke or drink and I don't 
care that they do. They don't even con- 
sider me weird! 

Its a cop-out saying "not being able 
to find friends" is the reason for pot 
smoking or for doing anything else. I'm 
no square; it's just that it makes me sick 
10 smoke or drink. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Sunrise, Florida 


HOMOSEXUALITY ON THE BALLOT 

On November seventh, lornia vot- 
ers were to decide the fate of the contro- 
versial Briggs initiative (Proposition Six), 
which, as the first state-wide referendum 
affecting gay rights, has received. exten- 
sive national attention, According to its 
proponents, the purpose of the init 
tive is to fire any teacher, teacher's aide, 
school administrator or counselor, no 
matter how competent, who “advocates, 
solicits, encourages or promotes homo- 
sexual behavior 

It is important to understand that such 
ап initiative threatens the careers of all 
public school employees, not only those 
who are gay. It not only rest 
activity, it severely limits exercise of the 
constitutional guarantees of freedom of 
speech, association and religion. To save 
their jobs, sons connected. with 
1 California will have 
to remove homosexuality from their con- 
versation, except to condemn. 
е becomes law, its broad 
and ambiguous provisions will set in 
tion the machinery for a witch-hunt 
inis The 


cts sexual 


iscent of. the 
law would requi school boards 
to invade the privacy and threaten the 


careers of thousands of teachers and 


home lives not only of teachers but also 
of students. 

Sponsors claim that if Proposition 
passes, it will sweep the nation as did 
California's tax ve, Proposition 
13. They see it as a critical step in a 
ational effort to destroy the gay-libera- 
tion movement. 

Unlike other ; 
(such as that spearhe: 


rights referendums 
led by Anita 


Е 080 


pis 
He 


> 


DN IGHT DREAM COMPONEN]S 
22 


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A favorite record spins 
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Fly up through soft and 
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of midnight music, where 
smart black machines pour 
out high fidelity fantasies. 

^ passing cloud carries 
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deck: the Optonica RT-8505, 


At least a dozen of its 

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playback functions, gov- 
emed by a small (and very 
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Now here's your new 
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monitor output power (in 
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Next is the new 51-3205 
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A receiver sails by: the 
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and tuner cutout for disc- 
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full automatic, with unique 
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Now your speaker 
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It the highs vou hear seem 
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It all comes together to 
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tonight's midnight dream. 

But why wait until 
dark? Visit an Optonica 
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Optonica dream system, 
black as midnight. in the 
bright light ot day 


PLAYBOY 


94 


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Bryant in Dade County, Florida), Propo- 
sition Six is being opposed by political 
leaders of all persuasions (Governor Jer- 


ry Brown and Ronald Reagan, for ex- 
ample), as well as religious, civic and 


educational leaders, 
Let us hope 


ason will prevail. 
If it docs not, Gay Rights Advocates will 
file suit on Novemb nth, challenging 
the constitutionality of this pernicious 
law. 


We'd add that this initiative neither 
spells out what is meant by advocates or 
encourages nor, apparently, confines il- 
self to utterances in the classroom. In the 
Los Angeles area, the No on Proposition 
Six Committee had mobilized opposition 
to this Dark Age nonsense and had en- 
listed the support of such prominent in- 
dividuals as Cher Allman, Jessica Walter, 
Sandy Duncan and PLAYNOY 
Publisher Hugh M. Hefner. 


CONJUGAL VISITS 
This letter is in response to “Prison- 
tr Problems," which appeared in the 
August Playboy Forum. 
І have been visiting my husband in 
prisons for the past six months and, to 


suish imposed by 
those visits is more than д person can 


woman 


is being den y degrada- 
tion of this is a and inhumane act. 
Fm not a prisoner, but my happiness 


and my life are being controlled by the 
prison system. 

Nowhere in the Constitution is it said 
that if a man goes to prison, he is re- 
lieved of his duties as a husband. It does 
say that as a citizen, I am entitled to life 
liberty and the pursuit of happiness. T 
understand punishment for a crime that 
has been committed, if a person is guilty. 
I ako know the definition of the word 
rehabilitation, What | am trying to say 
is, 1 want my man. I'm tired of the empti- 
ness I feel in my body, and I'm tired of 
seeing other women ache the way 1 do. 


The answer is to have ev 
wile, lover and sweethe 
cr and make conj 


instead of a dr 
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


HIGHWAY HAZARD 

As a trucker who's logged half a mil- 
пош. an accident, Га like 
to protest PLAysoy’s implicit approval ol 
“mobile blow jobs" (The Playboy Forum, 
September), Your аусар оріс 
shiver is stupid enough without having 
his attention distracted. by sex. Nearly 
every truck accident I've witnessed has 


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95 


PLAYBOY 


96 


Тһе ОМ-1 
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In fact, before the OM-1, there was no 
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The ОМ-1 is smaller and lighter than 
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When you buy an OM-1, you're not just 
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youre eligible for $100 worth of rebate 
certificates toward the purchase of 
selected Olympus Zuiko lenses and OM 
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Just send us your sales slip and owner 
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See your camera 
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D OA = Recipes 


1 used by famous 
S 


BARS, 
RESTAURANTS 
9) 0 & NITESPOTS 

— т m = e 
y 2 Ranking of tha 
| Тор 20 Drinks 


ous Sagas. c d 


DRINKS 


CAN YOU RANK THEM? 
Test your skill! Write 
your guess in the 
boxes below. 

Answers ere shown on the 


following pages, with 
their recipes. 


YOUR 
RANK 


[L] Tonic 

[ ] Martini 

[0 Old-Fashioned 
[ ] Pina Colada 
[Г] Sour 

[_] Sombrero 

[_] Black Russian 
[Ll Gimlet 

E Rum ‘n Cola 
[_] Collins 

[L] Screwdriver 
[_] Bloody Mary 
[| Tequila Sunrise 
[ ] Wallbanger 
Г] Manhattan 

[_] Bacardi Cocktail 
L1 Rob Roy 

[Г] Margarita 

[] Stinger 

[ ] Oaiquiri 

Drink ratings indicate relative 
popularity of best sellers on 
8 nation-wide, annual basis. 


Individual rank may vary by 
locale, climate, season, etc, 


at home... the same way professionals 

make them, when you're out on the town! 
Today's pubs, clubs, disco and dining spots are a lively scene. 
Adventurous young adults set a brisk Happy Hour pace. They 
are experimenters, They eagerly look to their favorite bars for 


new tastes in drinks, created with the expertise of professional 
barmen. Pros are meeting the challenge, mixing both new and 
classic drinks with different, better-tasting combinations of 
liquors and mixes. Examples of this are in this guide. Drinks 
you and others order determine national popularity rankings. 


Learn how to make the top 20 drinks: 

This guide shows you how to mix all today's favorite drinks, 
including the “top 20" best sellers in bars and restaurants, It 
has easy-to-use recipes for drinks made with all basic liquors : 
Bourbon, Scotch, gin, vodka, tequila, rum, Southern Comfort 
You'll even be able to improve your drinks . . . when you learn 
the experts" secret of "switching" basic liquors, An example is 
their use of Southern Comfort as a smoother, tastier base for 
Manhattans, Sours, even Collinses, etc. The difference is the 
unique, delicious taste of Southern Comfort itself. Mix one of 
these drinks the usual way: then mix the same drink with 
Comfort*. Compare them. The improvement is remarkable. 


© 1878 SOUTHERN COMFORT CORPORATION 


What is Southern Comfort ? 

Although it's used just like an ordinary 
whiskey. Southern Comfort tastes much 
difierent from any other basic liquor. 
And there's a reason. In gracious old 
New Огісапѕ, one talented gentleman 
was disturbed by the taste of even the 


is still a family secret ; its delicious taste is 
still unmatched by any other liquor. First 
try it on-the-rocks. Then you'll understand 
why it improves mixed drinks, too. You'll 
realize why more and more leading 
bars and restaurants are switching to 
Southern Comfort as a base for new 


drinks and famous 

x3 3 classics. It is the 
I" E t of creating 
| the really good- 
| tasting drinks that 

> set today's trends. 


finest whiskeys of his day. So he com- 
bined rare and delicious ingredients, to 
create this superb, unusually smooth, 
special kind of basic liquor. That's how 
Southern Comfort was born. It tastes 
good. tight out of the bottle! Its formula 


How to improve drinks—secret of the pros 


Маке this taste test: prove it yourself 


The flavor of any drink you mix is controlled by Fill short glasses with cracked ice 
the taste of the liquor used as a base. Therefore, Pour a jigger of Scotch or Bourbon 
knowledgeable barmen improve many drinks just into onc, rum into another, gin into 
by "switching" the basic liquor called for in the a third, and Southern Comfort into 
recipe—1to one with a more satisfying taste. a fourth. Sip the whiskey, then the 


The taste test at right shows why this is true. 


rum, then the gin. Now do the same 
with Southern Comfort. Sip it, and 
you've found a completely different 
kind of liquor. It tastes good with 
nothing added. That's why switching 
to Southern Comfort as a base will 
make most mixed drinks taste much 
better. [t adds a deliciousness that 
no other basic liquor can. Try Com- 
fort" in your favorite drink, at home 
or next time you order it in a bar. 
One sip will convince you. 


Mix drinks high on the lists 
of bars coast to coast: 


8 

MARGARITA 

1 pigger (1% oz.) tequila 
% ог. Tnple Se 


Y oz. fresh lime or lemon juice 
Moisten cocktail glass гт vatt 
fruit rind: spin rim in salt Shake 
ingredients with cracked ice. Stran 
into glass. Sip over salted rim 


16 
ROB ROY 


1 jigger (1% oz) Scotch 
jager sweet vermouth 
Dash Angestura bitters 


Sur with cracked ice: strain 
into cocktail glass. Add a 
cherry or twist of lemon peel 
(This drink s often called 

a “Scorch Manhattan. ") 


15 
BACARDI COCKTAIL 


me се lemor 


Juice 2 

¥ teaspoon sugar 

1 teaspoon grenadine 

! jigger Bacardi® light rum 
Shake well with cracked ice 
апа Strain into cocktail glass 


COMFORT: ‘N BOURBON 
Hit combo, on the scene at the 


Hotel Ambassador. Los Angeles 


%4 jigger (% ог.) Southern Comfort 
% jigger Bourbon - % jigger water 


эе. 


Pour liquors over cracked г 
à short glass and add water. Sur. 
Serve with a tvast of lemon peel. 

WS a delicious combination! 


RANK Try both recipes... one sip will convince you! 
4 ordinary SOUR the smoother SOUR 
1 jigger (1% oz.) Bourbon or rye 1 jigger (1% ог) Southern 
% jigger fresh lemon juice У, jigger fresh lemon juice 
! teaspoon Sugar \ teaspoon sugar 
Shake with cracked ice and strain Mix like ordinary recipe. Ther 
into glass. Add an orange slice ол You ll agree that Southern Comfort 
nm of glass and a cherry. Now makes the smoothest Sour ever 
use the recipe at right... and Comfort® Sour, a top drink 
discover how a switch in basic at the Top of the Mark, Hotel 


liquor greatly improves this drink Mark Hopkins, San Francisco 


Use recipes from "pros 
and rank high as a host: 


RANK 
1 

- DRY MARTINI 
4 parts gin or vodka 
1 part dry vermoutt 


|! ir with cracked ice; stram 
was ر‎ into glass. Add green olive 


or twist of lemon peel. 


For a Gibson, use 5 parts gin 10 Î part 
vermouth Serve with a pearl orion. 


SICILIAN KISS 
Sun-lovers' great love, at 
Joe Murphy's Lounge. Tampa 
2 parts Southern Comfort. 

1 part Amaretto di Saronne 


Pour over crushed ice in short 
glass; stir. Southern Cor 
es deliciously with th 
romantic liqueur from Italy. 
11 
GIMLET 
4 parts gin or vodka 

part Rose's 

sweetened lime juice 


Shake with cracked ice and strain 
into a cocktail glass. (Optional 
^ serve with small slice fresh lime. 
з 
DAIQUIRI 
Juice % lime or % lemon 
1 teaspoon sugar 
1 jigger (1% oz.) light rum 
Shake thoroughly with cracked 
ice, until the shaker frosts 
Strain into cocktail glas 


Southern Comton 
Spn. sugar. 


For a new accent 


> instead at rum, only V 


Women’s clothes by Jill Richards Collection 
Men's clothes by Ratner Clothes for Men 


COMFORT* ON-THE-ROCKS 
Smooth solo! Super star with skippers 4 
& mates at Anthony's Pier 4, Boston 
1 jigger (1% oz.) Southern Comfort 

Pour over cracked ice in short glass: add ` 

twist of lemon peel. Comfort® is popular 

on-the-rocks anywhere . . . it's smooth е. 
NS 


and delicious as a cocktail! 

MIST: Use crushed се in above recipe. This slight dilution 
frees even more of Comlor®'s naturelly delicious favor. 
Southern Comfort® 


SLOW ‘N COMFORTABLE 

=» Swinging new screwdriver, served 
at Alice's Restaurant. Lenox, Mas 

Y nager (% oz.) Southern Comfort 

sloe gin - 3 oz. orange juice 


|. Fill highball glass with ice cubes 
Add li Pour in orange juice 

and stir. Add a cherry. A drink to 

sip for slow ‘п easy enjoyment. 


LEMON COOLER 
Ternfic tall опе. as served at 
Restaurant, Houston 
1 jiager (1% oz.) Southern Comfort 

Schweppes Bitter Lemon 


Pour S.C. over ice cubes in tall 
Fill with Bitter Lemon: stir. 


COMFORT" N COLA 
! at the Breck 7 
Pavibon Hotel 
Juice and rind % hme • cola 
1 jigger (1% oz ) Southern Comfort 


Squeeze lime over ice cubes in tall 
glass. add rınd. Add Southern 
Comfort. Fill with cola; stir. 


17) Rum ' Cola Use rum instead of SC 


The simple drinks 
are the most populer 

and Southern Comfort makes the 
best tasting ones! Its delicious flavor 
enhances the taste of any mix you use. 


Try COMFORT® and 

Cola + 7UP - Club Soda - Ginger Ale 
Tonic + Squirt + Lemonade - Milk 
Juices: orange, pineapple. grapefruit, 
apple, apricot nectar, Cranapple 


RANK Try both recipes . .. prove it to yourself) М 7 
3 ordinary MANHATTAN improved MANHATTAN i 
! pager (1% oz.) Bourbon or rye 1 jigger (1% oz) Southern Comfort ‘ 
oz. sweet vermouth 5 oz. dry vermout j 
Jash of Angostura bitters (optional) Dash of Angostura bitters (optional) | 
tir with cracked ice and strain Mix like ordinary recipe. But you'll enjoy ^ 
to glass Add a cherry. Now t lar more. Southern Comfort's delicious \ 
learn the experts’ secret flavor makes a much better tasting drink 
Me recipe vi nght. YOU Comfort® Manhattan, f E 
ее! mple switch talented headliner at Paul | 
т basic liquor improves th Young's Restaurant, 
famous drink tremendously Washington, D.C. € 


Keep these recipes at hand, and mix the cool ones most in demand! 


так анк 
з = 


TEQUILA SUNRISE 

2-3 dashes grenadine • orange juice 
1 jigger (1% oz.) tequila 

Put grenadine into 8-oz. glass: fill 
with ice cubes. Add tequila. Fill 

with orange juice. Do not stir! 
Comfon® instead of tequila baghtens any sunnse. 


BLOODY MARY 

2 jiggers tomato juice 

Уз jigger fresh lemon juice 

Dash of Worcestershire sauce 

1 jigger (1% oz.) vodka 

Salt. pepper to taste. Shake with 
cracked ice; strain into 6-02 glass. 


Cy 


the cool TEUL 

Cool one created at the 

Las Piramides bar in Mexico City 

1 oz. Southern Comfort 

Y ог tequila • orange juice 

Fill highball glass with ice cubes. 
Add liquors. Fill with orange juice 
and stir. Add a cherry. Enjoy a most 
unusual, delicious drink. Carambat 


К, 
COMFORT* WALLBANGER 
Popular with pace-setters at the 
Alta Mira Hotel, Sausalito, Calif. 

1 oz. Southern Comfort 

% oz. Liquore Galliano • orange juice 
Fill tall glass with ice cubes. Add 
liquors. Fill with orange juice. tir. 
It's delicious. fabulously smooth. 


A18. HARVEY WALLBANGER- Use vodka instead of. 
Comfort? Add Galiano last lating и on top 


COMFORT* COLLINS 

Sun fans' big drink at Bal 
Harbour's Americana Hotel 

1 jigger (1% oz.) Southern Comfort 
Juice of % lime + 7UP 

Mix Southern Comfort and lime 
Juice in tall glass. Add ice cubes; 
fill with 2UP. Best tasing—and 
easiest to mix—Collins of all! 

7 Tom Collins: Dissolve 1 spn. sugar in Y4 figgef 
lemon juice m tell glass, Add ice cubes. 
ygger gin. Fill with sparkling water; str. 


SOMBRERO 

1 jigger (1% ог.) Café Comfort® 
or other coffee liqueur 

Chilled milk 


Fill B-oz. glass with ice cubes. 
Add liquor. fill with milk, stir. 
A tip of the hat to a cool one! 


at 
ГЛ 
SCREWDRIVER 
1 jigger (1% oz.) vodka 
Orange juıce 
Put ice cubes into 6-02. glass. Add 
vodka: fill with orange juice: stir. 
Give your screwdriver а new twist. Use 


Southern Comlort instead of vodka. 


PINA COLADA 

1 jigger (1% oz.) rum 
or Southern Comfort 

1 oz. Cream of Coconut 

2 oz. pineapple juice 


Shake with У% cup crushed ice 
or use blender. Pour into tall 
glass filled with ice cubes. Add 
cherry. Superb coconut accent! 


GIN ‘N TONIC 
Juice and rind % lime 


1 jigger (1% oz.) gin 
Schweppes Tonic Water 


Squeeze lime over ice cubes 
ın à tall glass and add rınd. 
Pour in gin. Fill with tonic 
and sur until well chilled. 


‘Swatch to a berrer-tasting drink. Skip the gin 
‘and enjoy Southern Comfort’s talent for tonic. 


COMFORT® OLD-FASHIONED 
Famous fashion at the Gaslight 
Club in Chicago 

Dash of Angostura bitters 

% oz. sparkling water 

Ya tspn. sugar (optional) 

1 jigger Southern Comfort 

Sur bitters. sugar, water in 

glass; add ice cubes, S.C. Add twist of 
lemon peel. orange slice, cherry. Superb! 
Regular Old-Fashioned: Use 1 tspn. sugar. io 
Bourbon or rye mstead of Southern Comfort. 


HAPPY HOURS BARGUIDE 


Recipes used by femous | 
BARS, RESTAURANTS & МЇТЕ$РОТ$ 


RANK 


19 
STINGER 
1 jigger (1% oz.) brandy j 
% jigger white creme de menthe E 
Shake with cracked ice: strain into glass t 
S.C. instead ol brandy makes a stinger that's a humdinger d 
1 
12 n 
U 
BLACK RUSSIAN п 
1 ngger (1% oz ) Café Comfort® > 
or other coffee liqueur 5 
%4 jigger vodka 3 
Pour over ice cubes in short glass: stir. zi 
a 
COMFORT® EGGNOG 9 
1 cup (В oz.) Southern Comfort 3 
1 quart dairy eggnog > 
Chill ingredients. Blend in punch bowl by m 


beating. dust with nutmeg. Serves ТО, pleases all. 


1 Dnnk: Stir 4 parts eggnog, 1 part SC. in short glass. add nutmeg 


HOT BUTTERED COMFORT: \ 
Hot choice at the Red Lion. Vail, Colc a 

Sm 
1 jigger Southern Comfort • pat butter 
Put сіп 
fill with " 
(Leave spoon in mug їс pour hot water ) p 


OPEN HOUSE PUNCH 
Tastes like a super cocktail! Serves 32. 


| stick cinnamon « slice lemon pe 


lemon peel, S.C. in mug. 
ипо water. Float butter, stir 


One fifth Southern Comfort • 3 quarts 7UF 
6 oz fresh lemon juice • One 6 oz can frozen lemonade 


iLVHOIH3d DNOTY SNIHY3I A8 


One 6-02. can frozen orange juice 


№ 


Chill ingredients. Mix in punch bowl. 70Р last. Add 
drops of red food coloring as desired (optional). st 
Float block of ice: add orange and lemon sli 


HAPPY HOUR PUNCH Serves 25. 
One fifth Southern Comfort 

1 cup (8 oz ) pineapple juice • % cup lemon jui 
1 cup grapefruit juice • 2 quarts champagne or 7 


Chill ingredients. Mix in punch 
champagne last. Add ice cubes, and garnish 
with decoratively cut orange slices. Tastes 
delicious . . . and puts punch in any party! 


wl, adding 


Souther Comfan® Comton, Southern Comin sed Café Comlort are regis! tradumyts o! the Southern Comton Cer 


Pumed ın USA SOUTHERN COMFORT CORPORATION. 100 PROOF LIDUEUR, ST. LOUIS, MO. 63132 


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(over) 


been caused by some fool in a four- 

wheeler who didn't know how to drive. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Rapid City, South Dakota 


1 just hope I'm not on the road when 
the lady from Canoga Park, California 
is giving her husband a blow job while 
he's tooling from Los Angeles to Las 
Vegas. There are enough idiots on the 
road already, and I don’t want to meet 
опе head on, as it we 

В. Davis 
Los Angeles, California 


TACO TALE 

Three years ago, 1 moved to Texa 
from Connecticut and. only want to 
that my impressions of this state are 
borne out by the picture and letter in 
the September Playboy Forum: a pretty 
girl wearing a T-shirt with the inscrip- 
tion IF THE LORD HAD NOT INTENDED FOR 
MAN TO EAT PUSSY HE WOULDN'T HAVE 
MADE IT LOOK SO MUCH LIKE A TACO. 

This place is populated by the craziest 
bastards I've ever met. The Federal Gov- 
ernment should set the entire state aside 
as a special preserve for the vanishing 
species of eccentric Americans with a 
of humor. It also has great tacos. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Austin, Texas 


TEMPEST IN A TEST TUBE 

In a culture as fragmented as ours, 
which sees events in terms of loosely rel 
ed pieces while oblivious to their funda- 
mental integrity, the stage is exquisitely 
set for the test-tube baby. The alienation 
of living beings from a whole ng 
context now reaches before the cradle— 
belore, even, conception. 

Can we arbitr 
pact of the env 


ly assume tl 
onment on the develop- 
moment after 
the strict de- 
mands of the placental environment are 
now recognized, And yet assume 
that these fost ns become de- 
nding only after conception; or does 
it make more sense—logically and 
intuitively—to view all events leading to 
the emergence of a living being as а con- 
tinuum in which each element must serve 
the whole, including the mental and 
hormonal components of the passion pre- 
ceding conception? To confuse the alte 
ing. or fragmenting, of a barely grasped 
process with advancement must inevi- 
tably prove deadly. In a similar if simpler 
1 feeding is now understood to 
provide a Gestalt whose importance in- 
volyes more than just the ingredients of 
a moth i 

Реп 
when our 


nw 


ing condi 


t that can be said is, 
ge begins to 


biological herita 
resemble our plasticized, mechanized e 
vironment, our self-concept will be in 
complete accord; and whether we regard 


that as positive or negative probably 
expresses the value we place on life. 

Joel M. Levin 

Redondo Beach, California 

We think you're taking the so-called 

test-tube baby too seriously; we think we 
disagree, but our Metaphysics Editor is 
оп a sabbatical, so we can't say for sure. 


TRUE RIGHTS 
Karen Wilson claims that а child has 
a “birthright to proper medical care, 


parental love, adequate housing and 
enough intellectual stimulation to give 
it at least the basic prerequisites to live 


а decent life" (The Playboy Forum, Sep- 
tember). | don't argue that a woman 
might be using good judgment to have 
an abortion if she knows she cannot pro- 
vide her child with these benefits, but I 
challenge her definition of birthright. 
Rights are something that can be pre- 
served, protected and enforced. Perhaps 
one can be compelled to provide medical 
care and adequate housing, but how 
parental love and intellectual stimula- 
tion be enforced? True rights are static. 
"They do not change with time, from one 
socicty to another or from one individual 
to another. I have a right to live but not 
to have my life maintained. T have a 
right to pursue happiness but not to com- 
pel another to make me happy. I have a 
right to freedom of thought and action— 
up to the point where my actions in- 
fringe on the rights of others. Finally, 1 
have а right to either help others or 
ignore them, according to my own 
choice—and that is а most precious right. 
Douglas W. Scheel 
Mankato, Minnesota 


In response to Tim Wilson, who at- 
tempted to appeal to our nausea concern- 
ing “twitching aborted babies” (The 
Playboy Forum, September). 1 suggest 
that he behold an unloved, unwanted 
child dying of malnutrition and neglect. 
Personally, I'd rather be dead. 

Bob Diamond 

West Roxbury, Massachusetts 


YES, BUT. 
In the September Forum Newsfront, 
you have an item about Detroit off 


g to seize the automobiles 
of persons cr in search of hook- 
or those of you who think this is 
d move on the part of the Detroit 
"s apparent you don't have hook- 
ers and cruisers filling your streets. Our 
neighborhood is trying to build itself up 
to be a decent place to live and raise 
believe me, it's awfully 
hard ıo explain to young children who 
and what these creeps are alter. 

You can be any kind of slob, have 
young or older children, or even be preg 
nant, and these cruisers still proposition 
you. Some do it rather decently 
Some are outright vulgar. Once or twice 
is onc thing, but all the time is another. 


nd. 


So sorry to put the poor hookers out of 
business, but if seizing the cruisers’ auto- 
mobiles is a means of getting rid of 
them all—then so be it. Let them go to 
your neighborhood and not only prop- 
osition your [year-old daughter but 
also try to pull her into a car. Let's sce 
how you like i 


Ginny K 
Louisville, Kentucky 
You make a good point and raise an 
issuc we can't deal with in these few 
words. But consider that prostitution is 
not exacily a recent development in the 
history of the world and that many cities 
in other countries deal with it by regu- 
lation rather than by sporadic efforts at 
suppression. What if the state of Michi- 
gan legalized prostitution and the city of 
Detrol confined it to one well-policed 
district? Too bad no elected public offi- 
cial can propose such an arrangement in 
this country without being hounded out 
of office by those who would rather have 
crime than sin—and end up fostering 
both. 


MILITARY MEMO 
Here's a direct quote from a mi 
memo t 


ıt was circulated at the Army 
hospital in Mesquite, Texas, for quite 
some time. It became an item of local 
folklore and 1 want PLAYHOY to interpret 
it to see if it does, as many have claimed, 
advocate homosexuality: 


Nor everyone is or can be expect- 
ed to meet ideal moral standards, 
but there is a of tolerance be- 
low which the 1 soldier can- 
not fall without compromising the 
reputation of the U.S.A.R. [U. 5. 
Army Reserve] . . . In light of this 
responsibility, personal misconduct 
such as, bur not limited to, the 
following may be the subject of dis 
act (a) Personal ге 
tionships exhibiting an excessive 
degree of intimacy beyond that be- 
fitting the customs of the Service 
and the ranks/positions of the in- 
dividi nvolved will not be tol- 
erated. specifically applies 10 
relationships between unit members 
of opposite sexes. 


What does this tell you? 

(Name withheld by request) 
Little Rock, Arkansas. 

That the Army hasn't changed; that its 
officers are constantly fighting a losing 
battle to make enlisted personnel appre- 
ciate and respect military tradition; that 
the intimacy problems at the hospital 
were not, repeat not, homosexual. Dis- 
missed. 


SEX ON WHEELS 
I had always be 


generally 
termed “the American dream girl." You 
know the type: long blonde h 
blue eyes, pixy smile and interest 


ng body 
lines. The kind that gets whistled at by 


PLAYBOY 


98 


GUESS WHAT 0075 GIVING 
YOU FOR THE HOLIDAYS? 


An issue bursting with entertainment delights, that's what. You'll 
meet two former oui cover girls who've formed a band but have a 
problem keeping their hands off one another's in- 

struments. Also in this special issue, Barth 

Gimbles alter ego, Martin Mull, sounds off „аш 

about show business. Lance Rentzel tells 

why football players are crazy, Conrad 

Dobler names the All-Flake N.F.L. Team 

and a former pro cheerleader reveals 

what it's like to be a locker-room love 

object. Plus: Clifford Irving's guide tothree- 

somes, a rundown of ski resorts where you 

do your hotdogging indoors and the ulti- 

mate in unusual gifts—from an indoor 

outhouse to a laser-beam mousetrap. 

December oui. You can't get through the 

holidays without it. 


At better newsstands everywhere. 


all of the hard-hats if she dares to walk 
down the street. Hell, all through high 
school and college, it seemed as if every 
guy I met wanted to get into my pants. 
Unfortunately, at a still rather young age, 
I was injured in а car accident. After a 
bit of hospitalization (the medical stu- 
dents were all very helpful), 1 regained. 
my health and my "wealth," except Гог 
the fact that I can no longer walk. Now, 
what I can't understand is what hap- 
pened to all the whistles? I may no 
longer wiggle when I walk (since I don't 
walk), but otherwise, everything is in the 
same place. Guys don't seem to think 
women in wheelchairs are into sex. They 
couldn't be more wrong. I mean, what 
could be kinkier than sex on wheels? 
FAD. 
Washington, D.C. 


MEDICINAL MARIJUANA 

The movement to reclassify marijuana 
for medical purposes has lost one of its 
strongest fighters with the death of Lynn 


Pierson in Albuquerque, New Mexico, 
Lynn was a 27-ye: 
who convinced the New Mexico legisla- 
ture of marijuana's medicinal value in 
the treatment of cancer chemotherapy 
side effects and glaucoma. As a result of 
his efforts, New Mexico became the first 
state to pass legislation that recognizes 
marijuana's medical value and provides 
prescriptive access to the herb. 

Lynn's success was due, in large part, 
to his extraordinary faith in the Ameri- 
can political system. He went ro the leg- 
a problem that was not only 


ld cancer victim 


islature with 
his but also ¢ 
> with cancer or gl 
credit, the legislature moved with com 


at of every citizen of the 


st icoma and, to its 


ра 
problem. Since then. four other states 
have passed similar legislation and 
NORML expects at least 20 others to 
consider the question in 1979 
Lynn accomplished a great deal in 
his short life. His efforts will continue 
to be felt throughout the country as 
more and more states legalize med- 
ical access to marijuana. Those seeking 
such access are encouraged to look at 
Lynn's example and begin their own 
campaign to change the present prol 
bitions against marijuana's medical w 
As always, NORML stands ready to aid 
those citizens seeking such а change 
Alice O'Leary, Coordinator 
Medical Reclassification Project 
National Organization for the 
Reform of Marijuana Laws 
Washington, D.C 
“The Playboy um" offers the 
opporiunity for an extended dialog 
between readers and editors of this 
publication on contemporary issues. Ad. 
dress all correspondence to The Playboy 
Forum, Playboy Building, 919 North 
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Minois 60611 


sion and expediency to solve that 


GRANDPA 
at 43mm. 


SNUFFY = 
at 43mm. 


With the Fujica AZ1 Zoom 
Camera, you can take a beauti- 
ful wide shot of Grandpa planting 
his geraniums, or a close-up of 


his smile without having to 
change lenses. 

Just zoom out for the wide 
shot, zoom in for the close-up. 
It’s the only fully automatic 
35mm SLR camera on the mar- 

ket that comes with a zoom lens. 
E (You can also get a 50mm 
14 or 55mm L8 lens.) 
But this light, com- 
pact zoom isn't all the 

AZA has to offer. 

]t has one of the 
world's most accurate 
and reliable automatic 

exposure systems, 


"AUNT BELLA, a 
“ апа MOM at 43mm. 


GET CLOSER TO YOUR FAMILY. 


because it comes with a built-in 
micro-computer. Just point the 
camera and you automatically 
get the right exposure. 

You even have a choice of 
optional accessories like the 
Fujica Auto Winder and the 
Auto Strobe Flash. 

If you're in the market for a 
new 35mm camera, think of all 
the fun you can have zooming 
around town with your Fujica 
AZA. 


For beautiful 
pictures, we recom- 
mend Fuji Film. 


THE FUJICA AZ-1 ZOOM CAMERA. 


FUJI PHOTO FILM USA..INC. 350 FIFTH AVE.. N.Y, N.Y, 10001. 


This is your year for a new car. Your hopes are high. You read what the magazines have to say. 
You grill a few salesmen, take a few test drives. And yet, when all is said and read, you'll still be 
pinning those high hopes on very slim evidence. On these two pages Fiat would like you to 

meet a car made not just to fulfill but to exceed your high hopes. А European performance sedan 


so masterfully crafted that to own it is to experience a long series of very pleasant surprises, 


= 


(NOTICE WE SAVED THE BEST FOR LAST.) 
#2. 24 MONTH/24,000 MILE WARRANTY. 


Your Fiat power train is 

warranteed for 24 months or 2 eg 
24,000 miles.Plus,our limited THOUSAND. 
warranty covers your first 2 MILE 

12 months or 12,000 miles 

for just about any defect WARRANTY 


in material or workmanship* Power Train Warranty 


| — Ask your Fiat dealer for exact details. 


*Presumes normal use and service. Excludes tires, battery, norma 


Fiat Motors. of North America, ine., 1978. 


апа deterioration of body exterier and norma! madtenance tems. 


г **1979 mics. suggested retail price. Local taxes, title and optionztéquipqnent norincludec. 


#3. ANEW 2-LITRE ENGINE. MORE POWER 
TO PULL CUT AND PASS. 

More torque, more jump when you need it. 
You'rc in a frustrated caravan tiailiug a trailer 
truck up a winding road. 
A short stretch of 
straight shows up and 
you step down. 
Suddenly, swiftly, 

you're in front 

and away. 


#4. AN UNCANNY COMBINATION OF BIG CAR 
RIDE AND SPORTS CAR HANDLING. 

It's the Italian philosophy of comfort. Fiat doesn't 
feel that tight handling must mean a hard ride. 
7*5. THE ENGINE-RELAXING БТН GEAR. 

Shift into 5th at 55. Feel the engine relax. 

Your RPMs drop from 3080 to 2450. And with it, 
your gas consumption, engine wear, and noise. 
Standard with Fiat, optional with other major 
European performance sedans. 


#6. CLOSE THE WINDOWS AND LISTEN TO 
THE QUIET. 

"The headliner and headrests are lush European 
velour to absorb the noise. 


#1. CORROSION PROTECTION? THIS CAR IS 
PRACTICALLY IMMUNIZED. 

When you look at Brava's bottom, you're looking 
ata coat of brown plastic. It's not pretty, but 

it's tough. Anticorrosive Cryla Gard has been 
sprayed into body hollows—doors, trunk, panels. 
Tough plastic liners protect the wheel wells, like 
fenders within fenders. Add it all up and you _ 
have 68 pounds of corrosion protection. There is 
virtually no place left to corrode! 


#8. ALOAD COMPENSATOR FOR BETTER 
STOPPING POWER. 

An ingenious device that shifts braking emphasis 
to front or back wheels depending on the load. 
Especially effective in emergency situations. 


SEEMS THE MORE YOU 


CE 


Road and Tracks 78 Road Test Annual rated the 
Fiat 131 (Brava Series) excellent in panic 

stop control. They rated Audi Fox, BMW 320i, 
Saab 99EMS, and Volvo 244DL very good. 


#9. WRAP-AROUND, EASY CHAIR SEATS, SO 
EVEN WHEN YOU CORNER YOU CAN'T CAREEN. 
No one designs for the human body like the 
Italians. They lift the seats just a little so your legs 
have more living space. They put soft wide 
headrests on all four seats. And the front seats 
recline way back for short naps on long trips. 


#10. A FEELING OF TOTAL COMMAND AT 

THE WHEEL. 

You're the master of all you survey. The windows 
are tall. The belt line is low. A full 314 degrees of 
visibility. And Fiat's steering wheel adjusts up for 
plump or lanky drivers, down for short drivers. 


#11. COMFORT AND ROOM WITH A VIEW. 

The Brava dashboard is scalloped out on the 
passenger side for elbow room. The side windows 
bulge out for shoulder room. The roof is high 

for head room. So much room that we raised the 
back seats a bit so the kids could see better. 


#12. THE DISTRIBUTOR IS ON TOP OF THE 
ENGINE WHERE IT CAN'T BE SPLASHED. 

Plus an underneath engine splash guard for 
extra insurance, Neither rain nor sleet nor ample 
puddles are likely to stall your new Brava. 


Your new Brava is a masterpiece of European 
craftsmanship. That craftsmanship keeps showing 
up in one pleasant surprise after another. Probably 
the most pleasant one of all is the first one. 


#1, THE PRICE: 
ABOUT $5900 AS SHOWN. * 


ae 
NY 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: JOHN TRAVOLTA 


a candid conversation with the hottest young star in america 


In less than а month, John Travolta 
may surprise everyone all over again. 
“Moment by Moment,” his newest film, 
wil complete one of the most successful 
three-picture contracts in history. It may 
also prove, once and for all, that its 24- 
year-old stay is move than just a pretty 
face who can dance well and mug te 
age angst. The film, in which he plays a 
teenage runaway who becomes roman- 
tically involved with costar Lily Tomlin, 
could confirm Travolta's credentials as a 
serious dramatic actor. 

Three years ago, Travolia became a 
popular but innocuous teen idol because 
of his role as Vinnie Barbavino in the 
hit TV series "Welcome Back, Kotter.” 
А year after the series’ start, he signed а 
$1,000,000-plus, three-piciure de 
Robert Stigwood's R.S.O. films, With the 
release of “Saturday Night Fever,” the 
fist of these films, Travolta became, 
arguably, the film star of the year, as well 
as Americas newest. sex symbol. He 
didn't hurt the disco business, either. 

While Travolta was being nominated 
for an Oscar. and being compared by 
the critics with De Niro, Pacino, Dean, 
Brando and just about every other film 
star whose face seemed to have a 
special relationship with the camera, 
“Saturday Night Fever” was breaking 


“When a lot of people try to confront 
their lives, they try lo separate. them- 
selves from their work. Well, that’s bull- 
shit, What you do is what makes you 
alive. That's what makes you great.” 


world box-office records. In less than а 
year, the domestic box-office receipts азе 
"approaching $12,000,000, while the film's 
sound track has been certified as the larg- 
est selling album of any hind in history. 
Bom in 1954 in Englewood, New Jer- 


sey. Travolta is the youngew of six 
children, all of whom have fetlowed 
thety actressanother, Helen, into show 


business. Travolta dropped out of 
Dwight Morrow High School at 16 and, 
encouraged by his parents, sought an 
acting career in New York. He appeared 
in a number of small stage. productions, 
supported himself by appearing in 40- 
odd commercials and, in 1972, traveled 
to Hollywood. He landed guest spots on 
ney!” Marshall, 
and nter" while 
auditioning for the film “The Last De- 
1ай.” Between trips to the Coast, he per- 
formed on Broadway in “Crease” and 
"Over Here.” 

After his first season on “Kotter,” he 
made a TV movie, “The Boy in the 
Plastic Bubble,” which was significant to 
Travolta because during the filming he 
met and became deeply involved with 
the 40-year-old actress. Diana Hyland. 
In the spring of 1977, during the filming 
of "Fever, she died in his arms, suc- 
cumbing to а long bout with cancer. By 


“Emer he 


Rookie 


"Lately, more attention has been pul оп 
my life than on almost. anybody els 
Suddenly, it's so important to know in- 
tricate details that I sometimes feel com 
pelled to таке up stuff when I'm asked. 


the time of her death, their relation 
ship had been mercilessly exploited by 
the fan magazines and gossip. tabloids 
As a result, he became bitter toward the 
press and wary of its intrusion into his 
personal life—a bitterness that remains 

On the heels of "Fever" came the sec 
ond RS.O. filn—‘Grease"—a mediocre 
rehash of the Broadway musical. In con 
trast to al least the semblance of realism 
of "Fever," "Grease" was a predigested 
lubricant for all Travolla's preteen and 
teen fans, However, the film has already 
oulgrossed. its predecessor and earned in 
excess of $114,000,000 in U. S. box-office 
receipts. 

To find out what it’s like to be the 
newest hing of the mountain, PLAYBOY 
sent freelancer Judson Klinger lo lyück 
down the megastar- Klinger ve ports: 

“1 first mel Travolta a month before the 
release of ‘Saturday Night Е 
1 profiled him for The New York 
1 was surprised to find him even more 
attractive in person than on television. 
His eyes, especially, have an incandes- 
cent quality that just doesn't. transfer 
onto video tape. We conducted our con- 
versation over dinner on Sunset Boule- 
vard—uninterrupled by fans, Although 
eager lo discuss his future in films, he was 
unexpectedly shy—at times diopping his 


PHOTOGRAPHY Br CARL Ifi 
“ think of myself as a very sexual person, 
because 1 think I'm sort of hot-blooded. 
That doesn’t mean Pm necessarily pro- 
miscuous, It means 1 really enjoy sex, 
the idea of sex and my fantasies” 


103 


PLAYBOY 


voice to an almost inaudible whisper when- 
ever his words might be misconstrued as 
arrogant. Perhaps he's been burned in the 
past, when his self-confidence has been 
misinterpreted as cockiness. 

Nine months later, when it had be- 
come impossible for us to meet publicly 
without causing a furor, we arranged the 
PLAYBOY sessions for a week-long series 
of evenings at a suile in the L'Ermitage 
Hotel in Beverly Hills. On the [ast 
night, he arrived in his beige Mercedes 
T508L, dressed. in a Munsingweay sport 
shirt and jeans. He loped into the suite 
and threw an arm over my shoulder, 
eating me with the disarming defer- 
ence 1 suspected was reserved only for 
trusted friends. Although we were both 
conscious thal lime was very imporlant, 
he insisted upon spending an hour ask- 
ing me questions about what I had been 
up to over the pasi year. Surprisingly 
enough, his interest seemed genuine. It 


became clear that he would have pre- 
ferred to interview me—he prides him 
self on being a studions lisiener and а 
fastidious observer. A1 one point, he 
interjecled, E bet I could gel а good 
imitation of you down before the night 
is aver 

“When finally turned on the lape 
recorder, much of his excitement and 
spontaneity disappeared. He became seri- 
ous and, І sensed, defensive, as if an rm- 
penetrable shield. had been raised. Не 
was aware that in (һе past he had suc- 
cessfully constructed his public image 
while carefully avoiding details of a pri- 
vate nature. Apparently, he saw no need 
lo contribute to the invasion of what 
little privacy he can still maintain. Whe 
the conversation stuck to what he knows 
best—show business—he spoke freely: 
hut when it tumed to the intimacies of 
his life, his voice slowed and his answers 
danced along the questions’ perimeters. 

“While our first evening was pretty 
much free form, the next night we re- 
Turned to L'Ermitage for a marathon 
Quand: А. session. He arrived in extreme- 
dy high spirits, having come from the 
rehearsal of a ‘Kotter episode in which 
Vinnie gets his own apartment. John 
dominates this particular episode and, in 
a demonstration of unbridled enthusi- 
asm, there in the hotel snite, he became 
Vinnie and began to jump around the 
тоот, pantomiming the scenario. Once 
again, 1 noticed part of the energy he'd 
ought into the тоот fade before my 
eyes as I went for the recorder. Still, over 
the next six hours, we discussed subjects 
ranging [vom sex to Scientology. On four 
separate. occasions, to illustrate a point, 
he jumped from his chair and re- 
created one of his characters. By contrast, 
Diana Hyland's name was 
mentioned, he withdrew entirely and 
whispered replies that urged me to move 
on quickly. But when discussing subjects 
thal interested or challenged him, he was 


whenever 


104 enthusiastic and opinionated. 


“Watching John perform before the 
TV cameras after our final session, I was 
reminded of the startling dissimilarity 
between the man with whom I'd spent the 
week and the character Barbarino. The 
‘Koller’ audience, seated in bleachers 
among the various television stages, was 
predominantly teenaged and female— 
and totally Travolia’s. In order to diffuse 
as much of the hysteria as possible, the 
cast was introduced for a brief preiaping 
Q. and A. Travolta's introduction drew a 
reaction not unlike the response accorded 
the Beatles on The Ed Sullivan Show. 

“Our final interview look place in his 
production offices at the Burbank Stu- 
dios. By then, it was obvious that I 
would not see him drop his defenses. In 
spite of that, E left the final session real- 
ring I liked hin quile a lot. I'm sure 
thal for hin, the oulcome of the inter- 
views had never been in doubl—he was 
as well rehearsed for our talks as he was 
Jor the “Kotter” taping the next ajter- 
noon. We began with the subject of his 


carefully guarded image 


FLAYBOY: You scem a little apprehensive 
pout this interview, and you give very 
few of them. Are you altaid of the press? 


e a‏ ا 


“When I was eight, I was 
a tolal greaser. I wore 
short, black, light pants 
and pointed black shoes. Do 
you know what kind of effect 
that made when I walked 
into a Catholic school?” 


——M— 


TRAVOLTA: No. lu fact, since 
Night Fever. the press 
for me. ШТ feel anything ти 

that the press might begin to get skep- 
tical with so much talk about my bı 
a wonderful person. [Laughs] Joum 
are programed to think that anything 
good must have ide, so when 
the negative doesnt come up, they ques- 
tion the validity of 
PLAYBOY: The positive? 

TRAVOLTA: Exactly. Sometimes I feel 
people are waiting lor me to break 
down, go on a drinking binge or on a 
dr HT feel any paranoia, that's 
1 guess D don't do a lot 
g5 that are appropriate to м 
e m my situation. 1 don't like dr MS, 
Т don't like drinking. 10 may sound 
corny, but 1 love my work; that's what 
I'm most interested i 
PLAYBOY: Has the attitude of the press 
toward you changed since Saturday 
Night Fever? 


Saturday 


s bing: 


ne- 


TRAVOITA: Definitely. Before that movi 
I tended to get the worst press in i 
world. No one knew why I was f: 
in Welcome Back, Kotter; they we 
sure they saw it in my work. ] used to 
жопу about it. But let's face it; since my 
career started, Ive been exploited in 
many ways Thats mainly because 1 
don't give many interviews, and if you 
yourself don’t fill the void, someone is 
going to Gill it for you. And that's obvi 
ously what's happened to me. 

PLAYBOY: Arc we going to set the record 
straight? 

TRAVOLTA: 1 hope so. 1 think the public 


is a Title confused about my personality. 


‘They get flashes of this, flashes of that, 
but they don't quite know what lo make 
ol me, because I don't think it's neces- 


sary for my life to be an open book 
Lately, more attention has been put. 
on my life than on almost anybody 
es. Suddenly, its so important to 
know the intricate details of John Tra- 
хона» Tile that 1 sometimes feel com- 
pelled to make up stult when Fm asked. 
Because 1 don't know if there is any- 
thing that interesting, or devastatingly 
ie other than what you sec 
PLAYBOY: You're telling us we can't be- 
lieve what we read about you in the gos 
sip columns and lan 
TRAVOLTA: [Lunghs] Гус been connected 
with just about every female in the ir 
1 always caught. in these love 
ts 10 meet 
а Newton- 
John’s wait y at home. 
Or Lee Majors is jealous because Farrah 
is going out with me. They're so lar 
ferched 1 can only haat them. There 
nustic one. 


is th 
consider you, at the age of 24, the newest 
male sex symbol. What is a man’s sex 
appeal? Can you define it? 
TRAVOLTA: No, I can't. That's my prob. 
lem when I see my own films. I look at 
them as an actor; 1 always forget that 
people think 1 have sex appe: 
ТОУ very hard to tune into one's own 
sexuality. I know E feel sexual. T know 1 
think of myself as а very sexual person, 
because Т think Em sort of horblooded. 
That doesn't mean Ган necessarily pr 
i It means 1 really enjoy sex, 
idea of sex and my fantasies. [Pause] 
So I'm passionate, but 1 don't necessa 
tune into that on the screen. D feel й as 
а person, but 1 can't see it, E can't be 
objective. 
PLAYBOY: Some people feel your appeal 
is to both sexes. Do you think of yourself 
as an nous sex star—perhaps 
like James Dean or Montgomery Clilt or 
even Mick Jagger? 
TRAVOLTA: | know I don’t feel that way 
but 1 certainly like the idea of how it 


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PLAYBOY 


sounds. I think if I can evoke that kind 


TRAVOLTA: I'm never using it. It's some- 


PLAYBOY: How many hours did you 


of fecling, whether is from a male ora — thing I feel, and I'm not ever manipula- spend rehearsing the dance routines? 
female, then that's an inspiring effect. tive with it, I would use it within a TRAVOLTA: | had the script early on, and 
105 also exciting to know your power scene, but in my own personal life, I 1 trained about three hours a night for 


can exceed the usual. You're not put 
into one category, you're put into a uni- 
versal category. You can have everyone 
love you. 

PLAYBOY: It means you're also a big star 
in the gay community. 

TRAVOLTA: Again, if I'm creating that 
effect, that's more power to me, in a 
sense. If I have that effect on everyone— 
heterosexual, homosexual whatever— 
then why be discrimi I'm not 
gonna say, "Gee, | wish those people 
weren't turned on to me.” I'd be cutting 
off my nose to spite my face. 

PLAYBOY; Have there been an unusually 
large number of gay people connected 
with your career? 

TRAVOLTA: | think it would probably be 
unfair to assume they are gay, and I 
don’t really care if they are. I've never 
been one to investigate the sexual pref- 
erences of people around me. If there is 
anyone around me who is рау, it's never 
interfered with his work. If they're good 
artists, or they're responsible and good 
workers, that's what's important. If sex- 
ual preference enters the picture on any 
working level, you're in trouble. 
PLAYBOY: Getting back to sexual power, 
do you think of it as something you can 
use to your advantage? 


would never misuse that, because if I 
feel excited or stimulated, I'm just affect- 
g whoever is there. It would almost be 
if I were fulfilling someone's needs. 
PLAYBOY: So, in а sense, you are aware of 
your sexual presence. 

TRAVOLTA: I know when I feel sexual and 
I know what I perceive as sexual. I sce 
something, | identify with it, and by 
identifying with it, I also become it. 
PLAYBOY: Did you fcel a sense of sexual 
power during your dance solo in Satur- 
day Night Fever? 

TRAVOLTA: Absolutely. A lot of it came 
from the excitement of what I was do- 
ing, of what I was about to show every- 
one. I had a lot of confidence in what I 
was doing. [Travolta gets up and begins 
to re-create his dance solo as he con- 
tinues to talk.) It's like, I know the steps 
so well that when I go [swings his arms] 
I know I have confidence in the move- 
ment. See? АП of these moves are, “Look 
what I can do." [Spins around] But that 
doesn’t necessarily mean, “Boy, this is 
really turning them on." It's an air, the 
ability or the confidence a person has 
when he has talent, and sometimes it's 
sexy. Yet he’s not being self-conscious of 
the sexuality in it. [He does an exag- 


gerated dip and sits down.) 


five months in a studio with Deny Ter- 
rio, who was with the Lockers. Then, 
after the lessons, we'd go to the discos 
and I'd try out my stuff. 1 worked very 
hard training for the film, but I just 
felt terrific doing it. I've loved dancing 
since I was a kid. 

PLAYBOY: When did you learn to dance? 
TRAVOLTA: | think my first turn-on to 
dance was James Cagney in Yankee 
Doodle Dandy. That was when I was 
five or six. I used to try to imitate him 
in front of the television set. I went to 
a school that was 50 percent black, а 
they were always very into dancing. I 
mean, everybody was, but T liked black 
dancing better than white dancing. I 
used to watch Soul Train, and what I 
wanted to create was a Soul Train [eel 
in Saturday Night Fever. 1 wanted to 
use a lot of that fecl, plus theatrical 
dancing, which was a very interesting 
combination, 

PLAYBOY: At one point, wasn't your solo 
supposed to be a duet? 

Travolta: Right. You know, I had to 
enforce the dance-solo scene. They were 
g the movie on Tony's being the 
best dancer, and he didn't have a solo. 
Everyone talked about how great he 
was; J thought you had to sce how great 


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he was. It couldn't be faked. So I asked 
Robert [Stigwood] whether I could do 
it. I said, "You spent all this money train- 
ing me, and you're not gonna let me do 
a solo dance? "That's what the kids do 
who are good." 

PLAYBOY: The best dancers actually clear 
the floor? 

TRAVOLTA: Yes, It's a ritual. 1 have done 


that in real life, Гус cleared arcas oll. 
Even me, and people haven't known I 
was John Travolta. Anyway, I said, 


“You've got to prove to the audience 
that he is the best. Until the solo, you 
don't see where he gets his name from 
So he said, "АП right, but do it to 
Stayin’ Alive." And 1 said, “I really feel 
that I should do it to You Should Be 
Dancing." So when I finally sort of 
pressed that issue a lot, he said OK and 
let me have it 

PLAYBOY: Weren't you pressing your luck 
a litte, making demands like that? 


TRAVOLTA: I have a feeling it has t0 do 
with your approach and how strongly 
you believe in what you're g 1 


really believed that the dance solo had 
to be worked on, because there was a 
misunderstanding about 
^t onc point, somcone thought that he 
couldn't ch floor. 1 
“Thats w! so let's see 
his whole body 
up here [draws 
above his chest). 1 


the character. 


r a dance said, 


it’s all abou 


“ They wanted to edit it 


an imaginary frame 


didn't study five 


months to be looked at up here. I 
thought the acting scenes were edited 
brilliantly. But on the dance scene, I 
said, “Please, let's really show how this 
guy could clear a dance floor.” 

PLAYBOY: Fred Astaire was quoted as sa 
ing that you're a damn good dancer. 
How do you feel about that? 

TRAVOLTA: I think that if Fred Ast 
said that I'm a good dancer, we should 


re 


believe it 

PLAYBOY. How else did you prepare for 
Saturday Night Fever? 

TRAVOLTA: I'd ро out to discos and watch 
the people. I'm very good at absorbing 
situations and duplicating people. 1 
spent a couple of days in Brooklyn with 
Norman Wexler, the writer, and [ spent 
a lot of time talking to some of the kids 
I met. It gave me confidence in what I 
was doing. 
PLAYBOY: Give us 
TRAVOLT 
cognito. 
watched 


n example. 
couple of times 1 went in- 
Son of sai in the back and 
And 1 picked up two or three 
things right off the bat. The guys 
the bar, they all stood like this [stands 
with his shoulders back, legs about a 
foot apart, hands clasped in front of his 
groin, face expressionless]. And they all 
played with their rings. Well, those are 


two things I did a lot during Saturday 
Night Fever. Just kind of hands in front, 
real cool, playing with the rings, check- 


ing it out- 


I used that in the scene where I went 
to Stephanie's house and 1 met her bo; 
friend. I'm sort of awkward; I'm in 0 
purple shirt and black-leather jacket. So 
when you're awkward, what do you do? 
You put your hands together in front 
and you ground yourself—uying to re- 
main cool and solid. It worked perfectly 
PLAYBOY: So, like many other actors, your 
technique is based on observation. 
TRAVOLTA: And I'm very good at imitat- 
ing. Show me a person, a specific char- 
acter type, and ГЇЇ probably get an 
excellent imitation down. 1 also get be- 
hind a person's attitude. When I lived 
in New York, I made up a lot of charac 
ters. I used to call it my "bag of charac 
ters.” E would very easily go into one in 
а restaurant or a department store and 1 
thought nothing of embarrassing myself 
or the person who was with me. 
PLAYBOY: Give us character 
Irom the 
TRAVOLTA: There's one 1 called Strip— 
not too sophisticated, but he was real 
а do him a lot. 
slip in and out without being too o 
vious. Or there's your typical New York 
er father character. I'd slip into that and 
reprimand whoever was with me. And I 
had a Bowery-bum character—a kind of 
аг. You 
know, if you didn't give him money, he 
you а name like fucking faggot! 
From the roles Гуе played, people 


a or two 


macho. Не can sort of 


wine-drinking bum, but real vul 


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PLAYBOY 


probably have the idea that Гуе got to 
have some sort of evil pool of knowledge 
10 work from. Look at the movies that 
I've been in: Carrie, Saturday Night 
Fever and Grease. The first two are foul- 
mouthed, hard-edged characters. But it’ 
all been just observation. 

PLAYBOY: Since you mentioned Currie, 
we have to ask about that scene in which 
you get a blow job. That couldn't have 
been, well, real, could it 
TRAVOLTA: In all fairness to the actress, 
Nancy Allen ... no, it wasn't. 

PLAYBOY: What a terrific acting job. 
TRAVOLTA: Thank you. 

PLAYBOY: Another example of just imi- 
tating someone else's performance? 
TRAVOLTA: No. Total recall. [Laughs] Tt 
was something I had experienced and 
was re-creating. 

PLAYBOY: Have you tried to analyze why 
Saturday Night Fever has had such a 
social impact? 

TRAVOLTA: Yes. No one thought it was 
bullshit. It was just cold, it was hard 
language, it was hard-driving, it was 
real. Everything had a cold reality to it. 
Tm proud of it because it's опе of the 
most realistic films I've ever seen. I 


mean, when I first watched it, I was in 
pain, because I felt I was invading these 


characters’ lives. 1 was uncomfortable 
watching what | was doing with that 
character. 1 felt like Е was really expos- 
ing him. Docs that sound strange? There 
were times І wanted to tum my head 
Б зошсопе say 
d do things that you only say and do 
in private. I had to see it three times 
belore I relaxed w atching it. I felt like I 
had exposed a lot. but not necessarily of 
те—о the character that 1 made up. 
PLAYBOY: Realism is one thing, but we 
were referring to the fact that the film 
seemed to serve as a catalyst for the cur- 
rent disco phenomenon. 
TRAVOLTA: | can understand it, because 
there is a side to the film that’s exciting 
and flashy, and thats the thing that 
sticks with people, Its fun to go out 
dancing, and maybe it's not апу more 
complicated than that. I think that I've 
allowed men to feel free. My character, 
Tony, was sort of that down-to-carth, 
macho, swaightlorward guy. He worked 
п а paint store. He had a family with 
which people could identify. He had а 
ugh mouth. So there's nothing to lead 
you to think this guy could dance, But 
then, when he did, he did it with such 
conviction and pride. It was important 
that he was dancing. There was nothing 
unmasculine about it. It was like a sport. 
And it had romance in it, it had sex in 
it Ie was sexy to watch. And I think 
people started saying, "D want to do 
that, too, because it looks so good.” 
PLAYBOY: How responsible were the Bee 
Gees for making the film a hit? 
TRAVOLTA: Oh, I think that it was a real 
50-50 situation. Without the effect they 


away because 1 was эс 


J12 created, it still would have been a hit, 


but it wouldn't have been the gigantic 
thing that it was. 

PLAYBOY: Did you get a percentage of 
the sales of the sound-track album? 
TRAVOLTA: Yes. 

PLAYBOY: It grossed well over $100,000,000. 
If you had as Tittle as one percent, it 
would make you a rich man. 

1 don’t like to give misrepre- 
ntations of what I make, because 
sometimes I think that it's blown out 


You don't 
nk you're rich? 
TRAVOLTA: It’s such a genera 
all stars are rich. Because you are blown 
out of proportion as a presence. the fi- 
nancial picture is also blown out of pro- 
portion. Гуе been advised not to discuss 
specilic figures 
PLAYBOY: It’s certainly a lot of money in 
а very short time. When you were a kid 
in school, did you think you'd be singled 
out this way 

TRAVOLTA: No. Especially since | really 
sn't that good a student; T was always 
cutting up and jiving. 1 was always more 
interested in anything other than what 


— 
“I knew I couldn't get 
out of the *Kotte 
It'salmost impossible. So I 


want people to 


ation that 


° contract. 


asked for a com promise." 


SS eee 


was going on in the classroom. And 1 
was more interested in making people 
laugh. I got in trouble a lot by talk 
telling someone next to me something 
stupid or funny 

PLAYBOY: You were a high school drop- 
out. Do you feel insecure about your 
lack of formal education? 
TRAVOLTA: Sure. But, for some reason, I 
don't think that has anything to do with 
ntelligence. І may not have formal ed- 
ucation, but I've got instincts and I trust 
my instincts. Many of the brightest 
people 1 know have no formal education. 
PLAYBOY: But you're familiar with the 
old show-business truism that good actors 
are dumb? 

TRAVOLTA: Is this The Newlywed Game, 
or what? Thats the dumbest truism I'v 
ever heard, An insane generalizatior 
Re-ask the question and T'I] answer it. 
PLAYBOY: OK. How intelligent do you 
think you аге? 

TRAVOLTA: Thats the dumbest question 
I've ever heard. It’s sort of unt, Be- 
cause, on the one hand, 1 don't want to 
feel like an egotist, but on the other, 
1 have confidence in my intelligence. 
PLAYBOY: Then why were you so turned 
oll by academics? 

TRAVOLTA: When I was in high school, all 


they ever seemed to talk about was the 
Vietnam war. I didn't have much inter- 
est in the Vietnam war. I had more 
interest in why it felt so bad to be iı 

school So I took a psychology class. 
because 1 wanted to find out what was 
making me tick. And when they would 
go into all this talk, I'd say, “Look, why 
are we avoiding the problem?" And 
they'd say, “John, what's the problem? 

And I'd say, “The problem is none of us 
are happy right now. When we come to 
school, we're unhappy, and we're talking 
about everyone elses problems—ler's 
talk about the suppression 0 

on here." And it was always avoided. 

I always felt that if I could solve what 
was going on inside, maybe we'd have 
further insight into what was going on 
out there. 1 had to handle my personal 
hang-ups before I could handle the Viet- 
nam war. And I had to feel that I could 
handle what was going on with me, my 
family and my friends before I could 
handle the world. 
PLAYBOY: Any other pli 
from that period? 
TRAVOLTA: I remember a real heartbre 
cr. In seventh grade, there was this girl, 
Maiy Jo. And all my friends kept teas- 
ing me that this girl liked me. Well, she 
ort of a strange-looking little girl, 
and everyone would make fun of her. So 
they kept on saying, "John, Mary Jo 
likes you," and they made up all kinds 
of stuff. Finally, Т saw lier at an assembly 
and I tapped her shoulder and I said, 
"Look, 1 don't like you. Just stop talking 
10 everyone about me.” Imagine some- 
one turning around and saying that to 
you—and this girl was totally innocent. 
I mean, like total invalidation. 
Well. the look on her face was so devas- 
ng that I'm still not over that. Be- 
cruelest thing that I 
had ever done. And it all d been 
fabricated by mv friends. 

PLAYBOY: Were you goodlooking in 
those days? 
TRAVOLTA: [ мам 
teenager. As a matter of fact, 1 
pretty awkward-looking. My 
too big for my face. I was very skinny— 
out of proportion, if you know what I 
пеап. | just started growing into my 
looks three or four years ago. 

When I was eight, I was a total greas- 
ег. My brother was a greaser and my 
sisters all hung out with the tough kids, 
right? So 1 wore short, black. tight pants, 
pointed black shoes and a white shirt 
with the collar and the sleeves rolled up. 
Well, do you know what kind of elfect 
that made when I walked into a Cath- 
olic school? No one looked like me. 

Then there was a crossover period be- 
tween West Side Story and the Beatles. 
] had Bernardo shoe ratle haircut, 
suit with 
ld white socks. I was 


Us going 


sant memories 


was 


use that was tli 


ally a good-looking 


was 


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a real rebel, and th 
to me at the tim: 
PLAYBOY: What were the summers like in 
Englewood, New Jersey? 
TRAVOLTA: Summer meant 
ing out in the par 
a little more than you did before. It 
meant a lot of 
PLAYBOY; Such 
TRAVOITA: Tammi 
Тетра 


twas what was cool 


Terrell. 
ions, Marvin Gaye, all of that. 


Tops. 


Twas a great black dancer 
And I can remember summer dusks. 


We'd sit by the sewer, underneath the 
street lamp, smoke a lile bit and wait 
for the lights to go on at nine o'clock 
PLAYBOY: Did vou ever venture into 
Manhat: ? 


TRAVOLTA: The first trips | made into 
w York were when my brother wa 
the Service and mw father would pick 
him up at the bus terminal. Га walk 
id rest with my father and wed go 
into all the cheap gift stores and look at 
all the radios and things, and then we'd 
have a hot dog and wait for my brother 
That was carly Sixties. During the late 
Sixties, it way more of a hippie scene 
ou went ro the Village to get bell- 
bottoms. It was incense stores, a lot of 
long-haired people, a whole thing that I 
didi dentify with at all. 

PLAYBOY: Let's jump ahead a few years, 
When you moved to Los Angeles | 
Пу in 1974, were you thinking 
strictly in terms of a film сат 
TRAVOLTA: At that time, there were тоо 
many serious film directors interested in 
me to ever think that I wouldn't end up 
in films. 

PLAYBOY: Then you must have had sec 
ond thoughts about signing а five-year 
TV contract. 

TRAVOLTA: Well, 1 did. actually. Except 
that when I put all the facts together, it 
was а great pare and 1 was very suited 
for it. And, to be perfectly honest, 1 was 
not about to turn down work 
PLAYBOY: Who made the final decisi 
sign the Welcome Back, Kotler contract? 
TRAVOLTA: | did. Be amed 
the job. I figured you don't know if a 


1 to 


ase E really w 


series is going to run five years, first of 
all. and we didn't even know if it would 
go 13 weeks. Also, 
sode even aired, Brian De 
me to do Carrie. And shortly al 2 
Terry Malick asked me to do Days of 
Heaven, So what you're geting here is 
two important film makers who asked 
me to do films in spite of the TV series 
PLAYBOY; Gabe Kaplan created Koller as 
а star vehicle for himself, but. during 
the first season, you emerged as the st 
ol the show. Did that cause ill fee! 
TRAVOLTA: No. And Im being honest 
with you. I remember, even before the 
first show aired, [producer] Jimmy Ko- 
mack said, “I don't know which one of 
you guys is going to take over." So they 
were expecting а support acter to 


befor 


the fist epi 


take over the show. I was 
be part of it, whatever 
were just trying to ge 
out of it as possible. 
PLAYBOY: And part of that mileage in- 
cluded the dui 
a teen idol, right? 

TRAVOLTA: Yeah, and that was re. 
fleeting thing. Its something that can 
п out so quickly. I tried to ignore it 
and go with more serious acting. 1 
didn't want my career to be over а 
row. The smartest thing I did w 
the worst of the heat, I chose the right 
things. Instead of going the PR route, I 
did what I wanted to do. 1 never did 
talk show; instead, I did a play in sum. 
stock. 1 did Carrie. I never once 
t with thar I hadn't 
planned an. 

PLAYBOY. But vou did accept a record. 


ost excited to 
ppened. We 
аз much. mileage 


mer 


something 


w g 


contract. Did you make any other mer 
chandising deals? 
TRAVOLTA: When the offers came up. 1 


ate deak. 1 
pped off left and right, they were gon 
do it anyway, so I said, "ГИ sign a 
L” It ended up not being that good, 
nyway. So F did participate in the mer- 
chandising, but I never promoted it. 

Т got offers to go on the road and do 
concert tours that you wouldn't believe! 
God, the money I turned. down. 1 got 
offers 10 appear for, like, an hour fe 
525,000. Just to show up someplace and 
sign autographs. They didn't want my 
ability, they wanted. my presence. I's 
building up personality as opposed 
ability. 

Т had no money when 1 first became 
popular. 1 was getting very little on the 
show. So for money, | went to two auto. 
mobile shows, and I think it was the 
Га ever felt as a person. I was 
ning autographs. But 
B ош, you have no 
choice. 1 was clearing 5700 а week on 
Kotter the first year, and out of that I 
p п. a publicist, all the 
people on a big program. But Т had no 
money to pay for them. So I did a tele 
thon and the two 1000 
bucks apiece. Mier the third one, 1 said 
“Bov, L think FIL just do without the 
money.” What" g is that then 
the bigger things started to happen 
PLAYBOY. Were 
series after the first season? 

TRAVOITA: Т think 1 was, actually. But 1 
was successful as a supporting character 
r things 


de legiti 


was being 


worst 


мш, jus 


whe 


you're star 


id mani; 


uto shows for 


teres 


you offered vour own 


and there were too ma 
happening. Too m 
PLAYBOY: Such as? 
TAVOLA: I had done Carrie the y 
before and had gone into preproduction 
Tor Days of Heaven, but because of the 
Kotter schedule, 1 couldn't do it. And 
when I was down in the dumps, de 
pressed because | couldn't do it, on 

week later, Stigwood came up with a deal 


ny 


y movie offers, 


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that at that point was mind-boggling. 
PLAYBOY: You're referring to the thr 
picture, $1,000,000-plus package with 
the Robert Stigwood Organization. 
TRAVOLTA: Right. 

PLAYBOY: In spite of the previ 
offers, wasn't it mostly your 
success that attracted Stigwood? 
TRAVOLTA: I don't think Stigwood would 
have signed me if he didn't think I was 
somewhat bankable. But being perfectly 
honest, th ole reason. The 
reason stated to me was that he really 
liked my ta nd signed me because 
he thought 1 could be a film 1с 
only go on what he told me. He 


us film 
television 


tioned me for Jesus Christ Superstar 
way back when I was 17, right? And he 
showed me what he had written on a 


yellow pad he had saved from that audi- 
“This kid will be a very big st 
or something like that. 

Ot cours ad to think, Well, he 
is a bit b ble, and he is right [or 
this property that I've already bought— 
he can dance. I don't think you could 
have put David Cassidy or Bobby Sher 
man or any other teen idol into Satur- 
day Night Fever. They wouldn't have 
been physically right. 

PLAYBOY: If you had been able to predict 
the success of Saturday Night Fever and 
the validation. you received as a serious 
actor, would you prefer not to have fol- 


, he 
n 


lowed it with Grease? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, I really didn't have a 
choice. They came together; they 


weren't ind ollers. 

PLAYBOY: So when you signed the R.S.O. 
deal, you wanted to do Grease? 
TRAVOLTA: I had done the Broadway 
show and I really wanted to do the film. 
But ГЇЇ be honest—on one hand, there 
was som concern about doing it, 
because it certainly was a different cali 
ber of film from Days of Heaven. On 
the other hand, I was saying, “I'm glad, 
because there are three films offered 
here, and at least I can make up for the 
loss of Days of Heaven, 

PLAYBOY: How have you taken the ter 
ble reviews that Grease has been dealt? 
TRAVOLTA: Grease has gouen a lot of 
good reviews. Depends on which ones 
you're reading, 

PLAYBOY: The ones we r wful. 
TRAVOITA: The play never got good rc 
views, either, but the public has loved it. 
The critics have never tuned into it 
PLAYBOY: Don't you think the screen ver- 
sion was watered down to get the PG 
rating? 

TRAVOLTA: Look, the extra little bite that 
the play had, | missed in the movie ver- 
sion. Yet it was made up for with the 
musical numbers, and it still captured 
some of the charm that the play had. 
PIAYBOY: But wasn't it stretching things a 
bit to make Sandy an Australian. trans- 
fer student? 

TRAVOLTA: Well, I don't think that 
there's a better choice for Sandy than 


Newton-Johr 
cause it was my idea. 
PLAYBOY: How's that? 
TRAVOLTA: I suggested it 10 my manager. 
The first thing that I thought of was 
Olivia Newton-John, because 1 had seen 
1 the Sandys and they were all very 
good, but it needed a star. And there 
was no star I could think of better than 
Olivia, She had the perfect quality 

The saddest thing that T felt about 
Grease and the critic 
everyone was 
You don't c 
day Night Fever 


Swear to you. Be- 


reviews was that 


ing it far too seriously, 
pare Grease with Satur- 
You don't compare 
Grease with any dramatic film. Grease is 
а light, funny musical. And that’s all it 
is. Everyone reviewed it like a serious 
documentary on the Fifties. 

PLAYBOY: In a couple of interviews, 
you've compared yourself in Grease to 
Marlon Brando in Guys and Dolls. 
TRAVOLTA: 1 was just giving a reference 
nt. People who are considered serious 
c done musicals. 
PLAYBOY: Speaking of Olivia Newton- 
John, would you like to confirm or deny 
the romantic rumors? 

TRAVOLTA: That she's having my baby? 
PLAYBOY: Thats the spirit. We knew 
wed get the real, untold story. In a 
more realistic vein, what's the могу be- 
hind your forming your own company 
after your Stigwood contract expired? 
TRAVOLTA: Travolta Productions is an 
opportunity for me to produce my own 
films. For a couple of reasons: one, total 
creative control. Two, the same financi: 
sharing that Stigwood has in his pictures. 
PLAYBOY: We heard you were angry b 
Guse Stigwood wouldn't renegotiate 
your contract before your third starring 
film, Moment by Moment. Aler the 
huge success of Saturday Night Fever, 
didn't you ask for more nx 


ney 


TRAVOLTA: Stigwood gave me more 
money 

PLAYBOY: How much more? 

TRAVOLTA: Double my percentage and 


double my salary. 
PLAYBOY: Will you put that in dollars 
and cents for us? 
TRAVOLTA: All I can say 
double what it had been 
no hostility toward the man. 

PLAYBOY: Lily Tomlin is your costar in 
Moment by Moment. How did that 
come about? 

TRAVOLTA: I went to scc her in her one- 
x an show in New York and I told 
Stigwood 1 wanted to get a project with 
her because she incredible. I 
think Lily is one of the most brilliant 
talents that we have or have had. Every 
time I see her, l'm overwhelmed 
PLAYBOY: That sounds a little sweet to us. 
TRAVOLTA: I'm giving you a totally honest 
opinion, There are very few people 
have that reaction to. So whether it 
sounds sweet or not, it’s pure. There's 
no reason for me to bullshit. 

PLAYBOY: Lily's longtime collaborator, 


t it was 
at I have 


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te and directed Mo- 
ment. Do you see it as a woman's film, if 
there is such a thing? 
TRAVOLTA: I think that the film some- 
times takes the viewpoint of Lily's story. 
If you were to generalize and say men 
were more into the macho, action kind 
of films and that women were more into 
the love story with romantic needs, then 
you might say that it’s a woman's film. 
You're talking to a person who is 
more tuned into women's performances 
than into men’s performances, because 
of the emotional content. 1 get much 
more turned on watching what women 
go through on the screen—I tend to 
tune into women's points of view. 
PLAYBOY: Is this role a turning point 
for vou? 
TRAVOLTA: Yes, and not just for me. This 
may be a turning point in film. because 
you're sceing a man for the first time go 
through as much emotional change and 
coloration as women hase in the past 
PLAYBOY: Isn't the subject matter contro- 
versial, dealing with the love affair be- 
tween а younge and an okler 
woman? 
TRAVOLTA: Yeah, these are two totally 
different characters that you've never 
seen before on the screen. I really think 
the film can make a statement and a 
akthrough if the timing is right and 
the people are ready to look at these 
characters. 
do you consider your character 
prototype of a new kind of 


Jane Wagner, wı 


to be the 
leading m 


it will be a shock for 
This is a young man 
with hardly any social defenses. He is 
stripped of them and, for some reason, 
has been saved the need to react in any 
way other than directly, emotion ally. 
There's no bullshit involved—he just 
reacts openly. Maybe he expresses him- 
self the way a woman wants а man to 
express himself; he deals directly with- 
out feeling inhibited. He's just so bla- 
tantly honest and vulnerable that it's 
new, yct identifiable, character. And the 
broader statement the film could make is 
that it could take the edge off age: it 
could take the edge olf sexist points of 
view. 
PLAYBOY: Do you think this character is 
identifiable on a mass level? 
TRAVOLTA: Yeah, D think you have defi- 
nitely met someone with his qualities, I 
people should identify with his 
quality of restless innocence. 
PLAYBOY: Will your audience accept your 
playing a character other than a punk? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, be this is an impor- 
tant time for me to change. If I did a 
couple of more movies in that genre, 
maybe it would be just too familiar. ГЇЇ 
tell you something  interesting—every- 
опе bought The Boy in a Plastic Bubble 
[a made-for-TV movie] and there wasn't 
а Wace of anything I had done before in 
that film. This character is like that. I 


have a feeling that if you do your char 
acter with enough conviction, 
believable and it's good, and irs got 
dimension and color and all that stuff 
going for it, people will buy it. 
PLAYBOY: During the filming of Moment, 
reports of emotional confrontations on 
the set were widely circulated, 
TRAVOLTA: Lily and I work similarly. 
We're both very concerned, very emo- 
tional and very sensitive about our work. 
But there's too much regard for cach 
other’s opinion to ever have fights. 1 
want to make it clear that my concern 
for making things go right was not a 
selfish one. The idea is not to prove each 
other wrong or right: the idea is to get 
the product out there. It's kind of the 
same thing with good musicians who 
work together. It's not a fight with "My 
lick is better than your lick." It's "Let's 
make this work." So if it meant getting 
emotional, all that stuif was part of 
What I'm saying is that we can all 
converse. It's really on a level of mutual 
exchange, not power plays. And it never 
is with me, I swear to you. If I feel 
strongly about something, my instincts 


nd ii 


usually arc right. And if I'm really sure 
about something, I'll fight for my 
opinion. 


PLAYBOY: Did you fight for Jane Wagner 
when R.S.O. supposedly considered. re 
placing her with another director? 
TRAVOLTA: I never knew they were con- 
sidering dropping her. 

PLAYBOY: Really? 

TRAVOLTA: Really. Never to my knowl- 
edge. 

PLAYBOY: Come on, now. It was being 
talked about all over Hollywood. 
TRAVOLIA: I don't think it was true. If it 
was, I was never directly told about й 
I'd chalk it up to rumor. The only thing 
that did happen was, I changed my in. 
terpretation of the character a little bit, 
and we did a couple of scenes over 
again, and then, because of the situa 
tion, I think that it got blown out of 
proportion. 

This happens because I'm a new sta 
No one comments on Warren Beatty's 
control anymore, or Robert Redlord’s 
or Раш Newman's. They've proven 
themselves, But if a new, upcomir 

tist tries to make his product better, 
its blown out of proportion. And I 
think that’s unfortunate 1 
is the best picture possible, Do 
eed to prove to the public or the in 
try that I have the power to do it? 
Someone said to me, "How do you ex- 
pect to get the best directors to work 
with you when you have final сш?” I 
said, “IE I want the best director, ГИ 
give him final cut. At least I have it to 
give up." 

PLAYBOY: Do vou 1 
the editing of Mom 
TRAVOLTA: No. I 
tions. 
PLAYBO! 


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1 


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ARE REQUESTED 
TO WEAR 
BLACK ТЄ 
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The Cologne. The Splash-On 
The Midnight Musk. 


your next film, American Gigolo? 
TRAVOLTA: The director, Paul Schrader, 
and I will control the outcome of Ameri 
can Gigolo. And Paul would not have 
gotten final cut if 1 hadn't been able to 
give it to him. If I hadn't asked for it in 
my contract, mount would have con- 
trolled it. 

PLAYBOY: Your production company has 
Signed a two-picture development deal 
in conjunction with Orion, right? What 
is Orion 
TRAVOLTA: 105 an independent distribu- 
tion company made up of five guys, all 
of whom left United Artists last уса 
The truth is that they subsidize my pro- 
duction company right now until | make 
a film. 

PLAYBOY: How did your contract with 
Orion с bout? 

TRAVOLTA: Whar Ч was thi 
Orion offered me a development deal 
Paramount olfered me any picture that 
1 wanted 10 do there, plus a develop- 
ment deal. 

PLAYBOY: But there was more 
involved with Orion? 

TRAVOLTA: No. Paramount basically said 
they'd) match whatever Orion offered, 
and I was interested in two projects at 
Paramount; American Gigolo and God- 
father HT. Neither of those required me 
аз а producer, only as an actor. So the 
difference came down i0 the develop- 
ment side, and Paramount wasn't offer- 
ing the same thing as Orion. Orion 
already had a reputation for giving art- 
ists much more freedom, and they were 
the first to offer me final cut on a devel: 
opment deal. 1 went with that. 

PLAYBOY: Do you have any present com- 
ments? 

TRAVOLTA: I'm committed 
Gigolo. Nothing after t 
film could be an Orion 
Production. 

PLAYBOY: Tell us a little about American 
Gigolo. 

TRAVOLTA: It's about a high-class gigolo 
who works the Beverly Hills/Bel Air 
circuit. He originates in the su 
in order to break 
golo a 
cated, x 
knowledgeable 


e 


happen 


money 


to American 
So my next 
John Travolta 


+ poised, gracious 
Hc studies other 
guages. He's very proud of what he does, 
but he has a problem: He gets off on 
pleasing women. So when he finds a 
woman he could possibly stay with, 
there's а struggle to conform to his life 
style. 1 don't want to give the plot away, 
but it’s about this man's struggle [ог sur. 
vival in his profession, plus a murder 
subplot. 
PLAYBOY, And Schrader wrote tlie script. 
TRAVOLTA: Yeah. And I think this is his 
best work. It's the only script he’s written 
in which the characters are redeemable. 
PLAYBOY: Do you always look [or ch 
ücters n the audience's 
sympathy? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, 


who will ga 


it's not sympathy. I 


guess it comes [rom my belief that man 
Is basically good as opposed to someone 
else's belief that m basically evil. 1 
don't mind showing evil if you can give 
a reference point. It's more exciting to 
me to see someone dark redeem himself, 
PLAYBOY: Speaking of evil, who owns the 
film rights to the novel Interview with 
the Vampire? 


But my manager 
has been assigned to produce it 

PLAYBOY: Have you read the book? 
TRAVOLTA: No. I've read the first screen: 
play of it, and right now it doesn't 
interest me. It has one quality that sort 
of fascinated. me, the story of his pained 
existence. But even as a kid, I never 
really tuned into the Dracula movies. So 
right now, I'm not that interested in 
doing it, but that could change. 1 mean, 
if brilliant screenplay is written, I 
could go for it, But apparently I'm sup- 
posed to read the book to get more 
excited by it 

PLAYBOY: Will you be in the 
Saturday Night 
TRAVOLTA: No! [Laughs] But not because 
І couldn't make a fortune doing that 
PLAYBOY: It must be nice to be able to 
write off millions of dollars with a 1 agh 
TRAVOLTA: From a totally artistic point 
of view, I don't know if I have anything 
more to say about that character. 

PLAYBOY: Have you ever thought about 
making a rock-oriented movie? 

TRAVOLTA: I'm certainly open to ideas. I 
was offered the Elvis Presley story. 
PLAYBOY: You were? 

TRAVOLTA: A couple times over 
PLAYBOY: 15 that you 
written off? 
TRAVOLTA: Well 


sequel to 


‘ever? 


an idea haven't 


first I did, but I think 


Gary Buseys interpretation of Buddy 
Holly sort of made me look again. 1 do 
think Elvis Presley is too identifiable 


Buddy Holly was not a universally fa- 
tist. Therefore, Busey's inter- 
pretation was almost original. If 1 could 
have the same eflect that Gary Busey 
did, and I think I have the tools to do it, 
that could be interesting. 
PLAYBOY: Is there any type of role— 
comedic, romantic, dramatic—that. you 
are afraid to wry? 


TRAVOLTA: No. It may sound rather 
strange, but I've always felt that I could 
do whatever | wanted in апу arca. H I 


like the script, Im not frightened by 
the challenge. 

PLAYBOY: Do you consider yourself a 
dead man or a character actor? 
TRAVOLTA: You're asking a difficult ques 
tion, because I approach every role as a 
character. 1 never think in terms of lead 
ing men or nonleading men. To me, 
they're all character roles. What do you 
consider me? 

PLAYBOY: We're asking the questions. 
TRAVOLTA: I know you're doing the inter- 
view, but I'm just curiou: 
PLAYBOY: Can we reserve our opinion 


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124 


until after we see Moment by Moment? 
TRAVOLTA: Sure. I think the concept of 
leading man creates an image that is 
opposed to everything that I've done so 
far, including Moment by Moment. 
Gigolo is probably the closest thing to a 
leading man that 1 have played so far— 
and maybe that will be my thing. But to 
get back to your original question, I feel 
like if I have to be a leading man, I'll 
be a leading man. I don't feel threat- 
ened by any new ground. I hope it 
doesn't sound egotistical. 

PLAYBOY: You may have a right to sound 
that way—we heard that you were of- 
fered $300,000 a week in Las Vegas. 

ight. 

PLAYBOY: Will you take it? 

TRAVOLTA: That's a great offer, but I 
don't want to do it right now. 

PLAYBOY: What's the most outrageous of- 
fer you've turned down this year? 
TRAVOLTA: The greatest offer this year 
came in a letter from a woman who sent 
pictures of herself and her dancing 
school, and it looked like she had sort of 
a hip outfit going. Her letter was well 
written and it seemed like she was a 
bright lady, but what it said was, "I will 
pay you as much as ten dollars an hour 
to come up here and teach a class for 
." And then something at the end 
like, “I know this offer will be hard to 
refuse." [Laughs] 

PLAYBOY: You sound as if you're pretty se- 
cure financially. Surely, you must realize 
that as you move away from the teen 
market, you'll probably never match the 
box-office success you experienced with 
Saturday Night Fever, 

TRAVOLTA: Or Grease, for that matter. To 
try to get films that will make that kind 
of money, and to go into competition 
with myself on every film from now on 
would be silly. 1 mean, it's possible that 
I'll do it again, but I don't think that I 
can do it with every project. So it's al- 
most like you're starting from scratch 
with each job. Just because I made it 
through one project with flying colors 
doesn’t mean anything. You have to 
work just as hard to make yourself that 
good in the next one. 

Thank God 1 have the freedom to do 
whatever I'd like right now. And, hope- 
fully, your integrity tells you that you 
should do what you want as ап artist 
and what you think makes the impor- 
tant statement. Because that's what got 
me here to begin with. 

The three Stipwood. films— probably 
the most successful three-picture deal 
ever—have three youth-oriented charac- 
ters that, because of my own age at the 
time Moment ended, all belong to an 
age category that I almost have to stop 
playing. I've made my statement on that 
age category, and the Gigolo character 
is in his late 20s. He's an adult. 


PLAYBOY: So your future films will be 
adult-oriented? 

TRAVOLTA: Yes, though I won't go as far 
as to say that if something youth-orient- 
cd fascinated me, I wouldn't go back and 
do it. All I'm saying is that it looks like 
what's ahead for me are scripts set in 
the adult world —like American Gigolo 
and Godfather Ш. 

PLAYBOY: Has your costar for American 
Gigolo been picked? 

TRAVOLTA: We were after Julie Christie 
for that, but she's not going to be able 
to do it. She seemed like the perfect 
one, so I haven't really thought about 
who else might do it. 

PLAYBOY: Who else would you like to 
work with, generally speaking? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, I got my one wish and 
that was Lily. She was right on the top 
of my list. 

PLAYBOY: You've mentioned your admira- 
tion for Lily Tomlin, and you were 
deeply involved with Diana Hyland, 
who was 18 years older than you. Are 
you attracted to older women? 

TRAVOLTA: I don't think age has anything 
to do with it. If you saw a line-up of all 


— 
“There are enough people 
Ialready know that I’m 
attracted to.I don't pick 
up strangers." 
ہہ‎ 


the women I've been with, you'd see a 
lot of different ages. In fact, you'd say 
they had nothing in common. 

PLAYBOY: You told us at the outset of 
this interview that you'd prefer not 
to talk about Diana Hyland again. 
[Actress Hyland died of cancer during 
the filming of Saturday Night Fever.] We 
respect that, but we'd like to ask why 
you talked about her to David Frost on 
television. It seemed an uncomfortable 
situation. 

TRAVOLTA: It was. When he asked about 
Diana, I was very nervous, and 1 could 
only be totally honest. But it was an 
invasion of my private thoughts. It was 
a self-conscious thing, because he was 
dealing with a subject that was very close 
to me. I just don't like to talk about 
Diana in interviews. 

PLAYBOY: OK. How do most women re- 
act today when they meet you? 

TRAVOLTA: I think everyone's reaction is 
different. A lot of times, because I've 
been blown up out of proportion, they 
become more self-conscious. They're 
completely preoccupied with themselves; 
they're not perceiving how I am. They're 
thinking, How am I coming off? What 
will he think of me? 

PLAYBOY: Do you think most women are 
attracted by the approach of your Satur- 


day Night Fever character, Tony Ma- 
nero? The punk macho attitude? 
TRAVOLTA: I'd say that Tony had a typi- 
cal approach to women, in certain ways, 
but what balanced it out was that those 
women had a typical approach to him. 
The thing about Tony is that you know 
he has a sensitivity at a higher level. 
There is potential there for a tasteful, 
tactful man. If he falls in love with 
someone, he isn’t likely to say, “Hey, 
give me a blow job, just suck my cock.” 
PLAYBOY: You obviously encounter your 
share of groupies. Have you ever taken 
advantage? 

TRAVOLTA: No, there are enough people 
I already know that I'm attracted to. I 
don’t pick up strangers, 

PLAYBOY: Then you're not exactly lonely 
these days. 

TRAVOLTA: Right, 

PLAYBOY: Do you have a girlfriend? 
TRAVOLTA: A couple. 

PLAYBOY: We're still amazed that you 
haven't just grabbed 

TRAVOLTA: I've been grabbed. 

PLAYBOY: Would you care to elaborate? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, I'll tell you about the 
time I was attacked at the Academy 
Awards. They weren't prepared for the 
reaction I got when I walked in. And 
what happened was that one girl actual- 
ly broke down the barriers and jumped 
my head. I was brought down a bit as my 
head was snapped back. So it was not 
only the feeling of the fingernails in my 
face but the pressure of teeling my neck 
snap backward. It was like a scene from 
The Day of the Locust. And the same 
thing happened at the Grease opening. 
PLAYBOY: Has it reached the point where 
the crowds frighten you? 

Travolta: Yeah, because I don't feel in 
control. The thing I don't understand is 
that when this has happened, no one 
has been prepared. Both times, my man- 
ager warned them to get protection and 
no one did it. 

PLAYBOY: How bad are the crowds else- 
where? 

TRAVOLTA: Basically, what I've found out 
by going to Paris and Milan is that I've 
become an international star. The hys- 
teria there is about equal. All the res- 
taurants had Fever playing and the 
theater in Milan had it playing seven 
months. And in Israel I hear it’s just 
bananas, and in Paris it's still running. 
So there is a great sense of accomplish- 
ment internationally—it was exciting. 
PLAYBOY: But pretty restrictive, we imag- 
ine. 

TRAVOLTA: Yes. I couldn't go to any of 
the museums in Paris or anything like 
that, because of the tourists. 

PLAYBOY: Has it become a pain to deal 
with on a day-to-day basis? 

TRAVOLTA: I've tricd to accept it as a fact 
of my life now, and 1 try not to let it 
get to me. To try to ignore it and say 
it doesn’t exist or just ride over it would 
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PLAYBOY 


days it's fine, depending оп how much 
nourishment I need. [Laughs] 

PLAYBOY: Have you thought about hiring 
a bodyguard? 

TRAVOLTA: The fact is that I should, but 
it's strange; when I'm in a situation 
where I think I need them, I get them. 
But I really haven't hired one full time, 
because I try to make my life as normal 
as possible. Having a bodyguard with you 
all the time would be the last straw. Say 
goodbye to your privacy. I want to hold 
on to that last bit of being a regular per- 
son when I'm in public. 

PLAYBOY. Immediately after you were 
jumped at the Academy Awards cere- 
mony, didn't you present the first Oscar? 
TRAVOLTA: Yes, 

PLAYBOY: You must have been shaken, 
TRAVOLTA: I was so nervous I didn't know 
where I was that night. I was sort of 
stunned that I was even there. I mean, 
you've got to imagine this: Here 1 am, 
my first film, and to be nominated after 
all those memories of watching the 
Oscars when you're a kid—and I mean, 
l was even up against a lineup that 
sounded real official. 

PLAYBOY: We'd call Richard Dreyfuss, 
Woody Allen and Richard Burton a re- 
spectable group. 

TRAVOLTA: Definitely heavy company. So 
I felt like I was there but I shouldn't be. 
It was very much like a dream. Like, I 
һай a dream the other night that I had 


to fight Muhammad Ali. And there I was 
in shorts and boxing gloves and I had 
committed to fight him, Now, imagine 
that I had the confidence in my dream 
even to be there. Within the dream I 
was scared to death, but I was there, 
ready to fight him. And I called him and 
told him all d Well, it was a similar 
kind of thing at the Oscars. It was like I 
was there, but I didn’t quite believe that 
1 should be there. Or that it was just a 
fantasy, as if no time had elapsed since 
1 was а kid, and there I was in the mid- 
dle of my daydream. 

PLAYBOY: Let's go back to your female 
admirers. Haven't you thought of taking 
home one of the beauties who've waited 
hours in line, just to get into the Kotter 
audience? 

TRAVOLTA: I'm not saying I haven't 
thought about it. I'm just saying that I've 
never done it. And I can count on one 
hand how many times I've been ap- 
proached by groupies. 

PLAYBOY: Aren’t women more aggressive 
toward you now? 

TRAVOLTA: I think they're a little more 
inhibited. As a matter of fact, a woman 
will take five or ten minutes to explain 
why she's there, as opposed to a couple 
of years ago, when they came on more 
directly, 

PLAYBOY: So success has had a definite ef- 
fect on your relationship with women. 
TRAVOLTA: I feel that I'm leaning more 


toward people that I knew before than 
getting involved with new people. 
РІАҮВОҮ: Do you more closely examine 
the motives and the sincerity of the 
people you meet now? 

TRAVOLTA: Oh, I think so, absolutely. Do 
you think I'm good at it? 

PLAYBOY: How would we know? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, Г think I'm a very good 
judge. I react to how a person handles 
а responsibility that affects me. If a per- 
son cares about what he does, I can 
react to that. And I think I react to 
artists who care about the effect of their 
work on you. I hand-pick people like 
that. When it comes to whom I want to 
be with, or whom I would favor in a 
relationship, that's what I tune into, It 
exceeds just а general presence or good- 
ness or charisma. 

PLAYBOY: Has success changed your sex- 
ual attitudes or habits? 

TRAVOLTA: I’ve probably become a little 
freer. I guess I feel like I'm OK. Maybe 
I'm more in tune with expressing myself 
sexually. But who cares? If you really 
think about it, do you spend a whole lot 
of time thinking about other people’s 
sex lives? I don't. I sure don't go around 
thinking about stars’ sex lives. I just 
don’t. І may fantasize having sex with 
Someone, though. 

PLAYBOY: Whom have you had sexual 
fantasies about? 

TRAVOLTA: Well, Jane Fonda, for one. I 


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don't necessarily like to think of Jane 
Fonda's sex life, but I may like to think 
of having sex with Jane Fonda. . . . You 
have a lot of sex in this interview, don’t 
you? 

PLAYBOY: We were just about to change 
the subject—from sex to religion. You're 
a Scientologist. Do you try to avoid talk- 
ing about it with the press? 

TRAVOLTA: Only if I sense that the ques- 
tions are going to be antagonistic. I find 
that people who are honestly curious 
about it come in with a much more open 
viewpoint. 

PLAYBOY: We're curious as to why you're 
associated with a movement, or a reli- 
gion, that elicits such negative reactions. 
Why, for instance, would People maga- 
zine, on its cover, call Scientology a “bi- 
zarre cult"? 

TRAVOLTA: As far as People magazine 
goes, it's probably for the same reason it 
wrote about "vampire blood" in the arti- 
cle, which I think is the most laughable 
thing I've ever heard. 

PLAYBOY: It sounds as though you distrust 
the reporting in People. 

TRAVOLTA: Only because I had three cover 
stories and the integrity of the magazine 
is questionable. When I read such articles 
as "Bizarre Religious Cult" or something 
dealing with vampire blood, I can't even 
begin to judge it seriously. "The taste of 
the entire magazine is totally question- 
able to me. The way they handled Diana 


[Hyland's death] was so distasteful—I 
mean, that whole point of view was so 
exploitative. They have no limits as to 
how far they'll go. 

PLAYBOY: To stay on the subject, three 
years ago, you were in psychoanalysis. 
Why did you switch to Scientology? 
TRAVOLTA: I found out there was less 
room for mistakes because of a specific 
technique for locating past experiences 
and resolving one's own case. Case mean- 
ing your history or problems or what- 
ever you want to handle. 

PLAYBOY: How did you get interested? 
TRAVOLTA: Through an actress friend. 
PLAYBOY: Why did it seem attractive? 
TRAVOLTA: Recause it applied an actual 
technology to the same approach used in 
analysis to handle neurosis. It really fas- 
cinated me, so I said, "I'm gonna try 
this." And it seemed to get the best re- 
sults of anything that I had tried. 
PLAYBOY: You're saying it was more ef- 
fective than psychoanalysis; what prob- 
lems did it help you overcome? Were 
you better able to handle Diana's death? 
Or your success? 

TRAVOLTA: Well, let's say if I had trouble 
in those areas, that was definitely some- 
where that I went to handle it. For in- 
stance, lets say that everything that could 
possibly have gone wrong in a two-week 
period went wrong. Because of my name, 
I was ripped off in a plane deal and in 
a car deal, They hiked the price up to 


double the amount. Or every time I an- 
swered the phone, something went 
wrong. Now, if it had been three years 
ago, I probably would have gone under. 
I don't know what I would have done. 
Instead, I'm at this interview with you 
right now and I'm fairly sane. I guaran. 
tee you 1 could not have been this sane 
three years ago. 

That's how it's helped me. I'm able 
to handle myself 100 percent better than 
before I got into Scientology. Some 
days when I am about to cave in before 
1 shoot, 1 can handle it. A couple of years 
ago, I would have been bad onscreen. I 
feel like I've grown up, in a sense. Be- 
fore, I couldn't handle more than one or 
two things at a time: now I can handle 
a hundred things and still do my work. 
PLAYBOY: Do you recommend Scientology 
to others? 

TRAVOLTA: Sure. If you came to me with 
a problem, I would probably suggest 
that, But I wouldn't suggest it unless you 
felt you needed help. 

PLAYBOY: Do you feel exploited by the 
church of Scientology when your name is 
used to endorse church-sponsored semi- 
nars? 

TRAVOLTA: First of all, they cannot use 
my name unless Гуе allowed them to use 
it. And I feel if you believe in some- 
thing or stand up for it, you have to go 
with it—you can't deny it or fear reac- 


tion, Whether people view Scientology as 129 


PLAYBOY 


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right or wrong. it has helped me. It has 
worked for me, in a productive and sup- 
portive way. 
PLAYBOY: So you don't feel exploited? 
TRAVOLTA: 1 don't, because I think I have 
control over endorsements. 
PLAYBOY: Did it bother you to be asso- 
ciated with Scientology in People's arti- 
de about the criminal charges against 
the church’s leaders? 
TRAVOLTA: Sure, it bothered me that my 
picture was in that article, but, again, 
Scientologists didn't put that picture in 
there, People magazine did. It boils 
down to freedom of the press. I can be 
connected with anything at any time, 
whether it's true or not. At least the 
quote under my picture was correct. 
"They did that much. 
PLAYBOY: Do you give a percentage of 
your earnings to Scientology? 
TRAVOLTA: No, I don't. If you want a 
course, you pay for a course. I get so 
upset when J hear all the rumors. If 
people only took the time to study it and 
find out what it's about. But, instead, 
what they do is say, “What do you hea 
about Scientology? Oh, really? Gee: 
has as much rumor to it as a movie set. 
Why should I have to defend it? If 
something works for me and people ask 
a question, what I should say is, “It 
works for me, no more comment.” But, 
instead, I go around trying to clean it up 
so people have a better understanding, so 
they don’t go around thinking: 
PLAYBOY: Vampire blood? 
TRAVOLTA: Exactly. 
PLAYBOY: Still, you haven't discussed the 
Federal indictments that charged church 
officials with burglary, bugging and con- 
spiracy. 
TRAVOLTA: I guess I don't feel they need 
my defense. There are two sides to the 
story, but 1 don't know both sides. I 
wish I could give you a more concrete 
response to what's happening with the 
Government, but I'm not involved with 
that, Someone could deface and destroy 
Scientology and I'd still use the technol- 
ogy I know from it. It’s too real for me. 
It's too significant. 
PLAYBOY: Whatever the controversy sur- 
rounding Scientology, and your belief 
in it, you must have other ways of re- 
laxing, casing thc tension. 
TRAVOLTA: Whenever I have spare time, 
I like to fly, and that's about the only 
thing I get in. I used to see movies in 
my spare time, but movies now have 
become part of my work because of the 
production company. So any movie that 
I have to see I can privately screen at 
the studio, 
PLAYBOY: You own an Air Coupe and a 
DC-3, right? 
TRAVOLTA: I sold the Air Coupe and I 
bought a Rockwell 114 to replace it, and 
I still have the DC-3. 
PLAYBOY: What else do you spend your 
moncy on? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, it's not that I'm frugal, 


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PLAYBOY 


but I just don't spend that much money. 
І probably would be extravagant if I had 
things to be extravagant about. I love 
airplanes and cars, and I've been extrava- 
gant about both of thosc things. But once 
you've got a couple of cars and a couple 
of planes, it's like . .. that's it. 

PLAYBOY: We read that you gave $5000 to 
your older brother Joey, to help him get 
started in show business. Have your sis- 
ters and your other brother opted for 
Hollywood as well? 

TRAVOITA: Well, I have three sisters. 
Ellen's my oldest sister and she's living 
with me. She had a stage background and 
is now doing a lot of television and film 
work out here. My sister Margaret lives 
in Chicago and she is doing commercials. 
And there's Annie, who lived in New 
Jersey and has just moved out here. And 
I just helped my brother Sam get a job 
at Paramount as a propmaster's appren- 
tice. Now that Sam is moving out here, 
there's no one left in New Jersey. That's 
what my parents were waiting for. So 
they'll probably move out here in a cou- 
ple of months. 

PLAYBOY: Do you spend much time with 
your family? 

TRAVOLTA: I don't get to see them that 
much. I try to, but it's very rare that we 
can all get together. It usually happens 
on a holiday. I would say I average see- 
ing everyone about three times a year. 
That's not bad. 

PLAYBOY: The fact that one of your sis- 
ters does commercials reminds us that 
you once made a memorable tearjerker 
for Mutual of New York, in which you 
played a teenager whose father had died. 
TRAVOLTA: It’s interesting that you re- 
member that. That commercial got a lot 
of attention, Hal Ashby saw it during a 
basketball game and called my manager 
in connection with the movie he was 
doing at that time—that was a year be- 
fore Kotter started and I was still in 
New York. It’s amazing how 30 seconds 
can have that kind of impact. When I 
met Jack Nicholson, like six months ago, 
he didn't mention Saturday Night Fever. 
He said, "You were on that great com- 
mercial; I remember you from then.” 
PLAYBOY: You made that commercial in 
1974, when you were dreaming of suc- 
cess. Now that you've got it, does it sti 
seem important? 

TRAVOLTA: Oh, yeah. To be perfectly hon- 
est, I wouldn't have been very happy 
without success. If you want to take it 
to the real basics, when I was a kid and 
watched artists that I loved, that excited 
me. They gave me joy; J wanted to cre- 
ate the same effect for someone else. And 
that’s the full cycle. It’s not as selfish as 
it may seem on many artists’ part. I 
really believe that's much more of an 
insight into this whole business than 


134 anything else. I think that creative 


people get off on giving others the same 
thing that got them interested in the first 
place. That's what it's all about—I want 
to inspire you and I want you to inspire 
me. And I want to do that the rest of my 
life. Because the only thing that gets me 
off right now is inspiration. 
PLAYBOY: How will you want to be re- 
membered? 
TRAVOLTA: I guess in all honesty I want to 
be remembered as a great actor, a great 
character actor who made social state- 
ments and gave people insights and in- 
spiration. Because you can be a great 
actor and not necessarily inspire people. 
Lily Tomlin's ability to create charac- 
ters is immense. I'm hoping that's the 
effect ГЇЇ have when people look in 
retrospect on my career. 
PLAYBOY: Assuming you're on your way, 
isn’t it a little galling to have to return 
toa fluffy TV series? 
TRAVOLTA: Well, this year the scripts are 
better, which is fun for me, and I can 
slip into Vinnie because I know him so 
well after three years. It's very easy for 
me to slip into his balance, so I can have 
more fun with him now than I ever have. 

1 love the guys on the show: I'm very 
close with them. There's satisfaction in 
being with the people you were with 
when your success started. It's like a cer- 
tain safety that you almost identify with. 

I love doing my filmwork and really 
exploring my artistry, so it's hard for me 
to go back in the sense that I feel that 
cyde is over as an artist, But there's 
something very settling about coming 
back to where I started. It's home, a 
point of reference, and it's the same for 
them. It's very good knowing that we're 
all basically the same. 
PLAYBOY: But in reality, you're not the 
same. Because of your film career, your 
fame clearly exceeds everyone else's on 
that show. Is there any degree of jealousy 
this season? 
TRAVOLTA: No, because we've explored 
that already. We talk about it. And, be- 
sides that, last year they all came to me 
and said, "Go with it—take the ball, 
John." I know that sounds corny and 
quite dramatic, but they said, "If you 
make it, we have a chance.” That was 
before Saturday Night Fever opencd. 
They said, “If you can do it, that breaks 
the ice for all of us in television.” 
PLAYBOY: Why do you think you were the 
first television teen idol to be able to 
erase that stigma and succeed in films? 
TRAVOLTA: It could be a combination of 
things: timing, vehicle, ability. All those 
things hit at the same time. Saturday 
Night Fever was just the perfect vehicle, 
it was what the public wanted, and I had 
the opportunity to express my abilities 
to the utmost. 

So what I'm saying is that they're only 
grateful now because they're really a 
bright group. They're just perceptive 


and intelligent enough to know not to 
be jealous. 

PLAYBOY: Frankly, we were surprised to 
see you on the show this year. Did you 
make any attempt to get out of your 
Kotter contract? 

TRAVOLTA: Honestly, I knew I couldn't get 
out of it—it's the hardest kind of con- 
tract to get out of. It's almost impossible. 
So what I did was, I went to them with 
the desire to make it work out and asked 
for a compromise. Which they gave me. 
PLAYBOY: What are the details of the 
compromise? 

TRAVOLTA: In exchange for staying on the 
show, I have to do only eight episodes in 
"8 and four episodes in 79, plus a spe- 
cial before 1980 or ‘81. 

PLAYBOY: When you're through with 
Kotter, do you think you'll ever work 
on television again? 

TRAVOLTA: Yeah, because I feel that tele- 
vision reaches an audience—you can get 
to people like you can nowhere else. And 
I think that's so important it shouldn't 
be forgotten. I don't think I'd jump into 
a five- or seven-year series like I have 
now, but I do think it's possible to do 
specials or 2 miniseries. You never 
know—in a few years, a miniseries might 
be attractive to me. Maybe there's some- 
thing that I'll want to get to the people 
that I can't get through film, because it 
take 12 hours. Well, that’s when a 
miniseries would be the right vehicle. 
PLAYBOY: T here's a school of thought that 
says thar by staying off television, an 
actor can create a mystique that en- 
hances his power at the box office. 
TRAVOLTA: I think there's a lot of truth 
to that. Yet you cannot totally withdraw, 
either. You have to time it properly. 
‘There are times when it’s appropriate 
to be on television or do an interview. 
When someone real hot is on television, 
I mean, everyone watches. That doesn't 
hurt the mystique. But if you're on three 
times а week, people are going to get 
bored with your essence. 

PLAYBOY: And what, finally, is the essence 
of John Travolta? 

TRAVOLTA: Well, I had an interesting rev- 
elation during the filming of Moment 
by Moment. Y wasn't working for a 
short period of time and I wasn't happy. 
I was depressed. And I thought, What is 
it? Can't I be myself when I'm not work- 
ing? And the truth is, 1 am only myself 
when I'm working. I started acting when 
I was nine, I've been a professional since 
I was 16, and the point I'm trying to 
make is: I feel my best when I'm creat- 
ing, because that's me. That's my iden- 
tity. When a lot of people try to confront 
their lives, they try to separate them- 
selves from their work. They say, "I am 
going to work things out without that 
dependency." Well, that's bullshit. Be- 
cause what you do is what makes you 
alive. That’s what makes you great. 


FINE CHAMPAGNE COGNAC 


0 Prool Fenfield Importers. Ltd New York 


The © Jlounder 


would you believe a talking 


fish? a woman with three breasts? the author of 


“the tin drum” serves up six spice-filled morsels from his extraordinary new novel 


“By GUN 


SKY WOLF AND THE POUCH 


In our early myths, there was no fire. 
Lightning struck, moors burst into flame 
of their own accord, but we never suc 
ceeded in holding on to the fire; it always 
died out. And so we ate our badger, 
elk cow and grouse raw or dried on 
stones. And we huddled shivering in the 
darkness. 

Then the dry wood said to us, "Some- 
one whose flesh is also a pouch must 
climb up to the Sky Wolf. He is the 
keeper of the primal fire, whence comes 
all other fire, including the lightning." 

It had to be a woman, because the 
male has no pouch in his flesh. So a 
woman climbed up by the rainbow and 
found the Sky Wolf lying beside the 
primal fire. He had just been eating a 
crispy brown roast and he gave the wom- 
an what was left of it. Before she had 
finished chewing, he said sadly, “I know 
you've come for fire. But have you a 
pouchz" 

When the woman showed him her 
pouch, he said, “I'm old, 1 can’t sce any- 
more. Lie down with me and let me 
test you.” 

The woman lay down with him, and 


Günter Grass has a deserved international rei 


has had exhibi 


fiction 


FIRST LOOK 


atanewnovel 


he tested her pouch with his wolf's mem- 
ber until he was all worn out and fell 
asleep on her flesh. After waiting a little 
while and another little while, she let 
his tester slip out of her pouch, tipped 
him—remeniber, he was lying on top of 
her—off to one side, sprang to her feet 
and shook herself a little. Then she took 
three glowing bits of charcoal from the 
Primal fire and hid them in her pouch, 
where they instantly seized on the wolf 
sperm and made it hiss, 

Thereupon the wolf woke up, for he 
must have heard or sensed that the fire 
was consuming his seed in the woman's 
pouch. “I'm too exhausted,” he said, “to 
take back what you've stolen, But let me 
tell you this: The primal fire will make 
its mark at the opening of your pouch, 
d the mark will leave a scar. Your scar 
ch and itch. And because it itches, 
you will wish for someone to come and 
take the itch away. And when it doesn't 


TER GRASS 


itch, you will wish for someone to come 
and make it itch.” 

The woman laughed, for her pouch 
was still moist and the glowing charcoal 
hadn't yet started to burn her. She 
laughed so hard she had to hold herself 
in. And, laughing, she said to the ex- 
hausted wolf, "You old wreck. Doi 
make up stories about my pouch. I'll 
show you what else I can do. You'll be 


At that, she spread her legs “and stood 
over the primal fire. Holding two fingers 
under her pouch to make sure nothing 
would fall out of it, she pissed into the 
primal fire until it went out. And the old 
Sky Wolf wept, for that spelled the end 
of crispy Lrown roasts; he'd just have to 
gulp everything down raw. That, it 
seems, is what made earthly wolves mur- 
derous and misanthropic. 

Just in time, the woman climbed back 
down to earth over the paling rainbow. 
She returned to her horde, screaming, 
because her pouch was dry by then and 
the glowing charcoal was burning her. 
“Awa! Ама!” she screamed, and those 
primordial sounds became her name. In 
a later day, the scar at the entrance to 


putation as a writer; his extraordinary skill as an artist is less well known, thaugh he 
s of his work. The etchings on these pages are from the set that Grass did to illustrate his book The Flounder, 


PLAYBOY 


her pouch, which the Sky Wolf had 
prophesied, came to be known as the 
clitoris or tickler, but it remains an ob- 
ject of controversy among scientists in- 
vestigating the origin of the orgasm. 

From then on, we had fire. It never 
died out. Where there were people, there 
was always a wisp of smoke. But because 
a woman had brought us fire, the woman 
kept us pouchless men in a state of de- 
pendency. We were no longer allowed to 
sacrifice to the Sky Wolf, but only to the 
Heavenly Elk. For many, many years, 
the origin and function of the itching 
scar were unknown to us, For when the 
returning Awa had finished screaming, 
she told us ever so casually that the old 
wolf had been kind to her, that he had 
roasted a hare for her over the primal 
fire, that roast hare is perfectly delicious 
and that she now knew how to cook. She 
further told us that she had complained 
to the wolf about how cold and dark it 
was down here, that of all sacrifices in his 
honor he preferred elk calves, that she 
had washed his left hind paw—which 
was infected—and dressed it with the 
medicinal herbs she never went anywhere 
without, that he, poor fellow, had been 
so grateful to her for curing his limp 
that he had given her threc glowing coals 
out of the primal fire; and she ended up 
by telling us that—male superstition to 
the contrary notwithstanding—the Sky 
Wolf was a female. 

"That was all Awa told us. And I myself 
wouldn't have known a thing if I hadn't 
given a great deal of thought to that 
teensy-weensy scar and examined Hse- 
bill's tickler in the light of other myths. I 
told the Flounder, but he wouldn't be- 
lieve it. He believed only in his reason. 


‘TITTOMANIA 


So help me, lisebill she had three. 
Nature can do anything. Honest to good- 
ness, three of them. And if my memory 
doesn’t deceive me, all women had that 
name in the Stone Age: Awa Awa Awa. 
And we men were all called Edek. We 
were all alike in every way. And so were 
the Awas. One, two, three. At first 
we couldn't count any higher. No, not 
below, not above; in between. The plural 
begins with three. Three is the begin- 
ning of multiplicity, the series, the chain, 
and of myth. But don't let it tie you up 
in complexes. We acquired some later 
on. In our region, to the east of the river, 
Potrimpos, who became a god of the 
Prussians along with Pikollos and Per- 
kunos, was said to have had three testi- 
cles. Yes, you're right: Three breasts are 
more, or at least they look it; they look 
like more and more: they suggest super- 
abundance, advertise generosity, give 
eternal assurance of a full belly. Still, 
when you come right down to it, they are 


138 abnormal—though not inconceivable. 


Naturally. A projection of male de- 
sires! I knew you'd say that. Maybe they 
are anatomically impossible. But in those 
days, when myths still cast their shadows, 
Awa had three. And it's true that today 
the third is often wanting. I mean, some- 
thing is wanting. Well, the third of the 
three. Don’t be so quick on the trigger. 
No, of course not. Of course I won't 
make a cult of it. Of course two are 
plenty. You can take my word for i 
llsebill, basically I'm satisfied with two. 
I'm not a fool. I don't go chasing after a 
number. Now that, thanks to your fish 
soup and no pill, it must have come off, 
now that you're pregnant and your two 
will soon weigh more than Awa's three, 
I'm perfectly, blissfully contented. 

"The third was always an extra. Essen- 
tially a caprice of capricious nature. As 
useless as the appendix. Altogether, I 
can't help wondering: Why this breast 
fixation? This typically male tittomania? 
"This cry for the primal mother, the super 
wet nurse? Anyway, Awa became a god- 
dess later on and had her three tits 
certified in hand-sized clay idols. Other 
goddesses—the Indian Kali, for in- 
stance—had four or more arms. But these 
may have served some practical purpose. 
"The Greek mother goddesses—Demeter, 
Hera—on the other hand, were normally 
outfitted and managed to stay in business 
for thousands of years even so. I've also 
seen gods represented with a third eye in 
their forehead. I wouldn't want one of 
those if you paid me. 

All in all, the number three promises 
more than it can deliver. Awa overdid it 
with her three boobies as much as the 
Amazons underdid it with their one 
breast. That's why our latter-day femi- 
nists always go to extremes. Get that 
sulky look off your face. I'm all in favor 
of the libbers. And I assure you, Isebill, 
two are plenty. And doctor will tell you 
so. And if our child doesn't turn out to 
be а boy, she'll certainly have enough 
with two. What do you mean, aha? Men 
just happen to be crazy, always have this 
yen for bigger and bigger bosoms. 

"There must be reasons why we men 
are so hipped on breasts, as if we'd all 
been weaned too soon. It must be you 
women's fault. It could be your fault. Be- 
cause you attach so much, too much im- 
portance to whether or not they sag a 
litle more, each day a little more. Let 
them sag, to hell with them. 


NUNS AND CARROTS. 


In troubled times—everywhere monks 
and nuns were escaping from their clois- 
ters to risk the perils of secular life—it 
was often difficult to hold pious girls to 
their vows. They fdgeted, they wanted 
out, they wanted a man in breeches, 
wanted to be married, to bear children 
by the dozen, to walk in silk and satin and 
try to keep up with the town fashions. 


And so, while the sweet millet por- 
ridge diminished on the long table, the 
abbess told her little nuns, whose asses 
were itching for life, what life is and 
how quickly it crumbles away. She listed 
the freedoms of the nunnery and, in the 
debit column, the arduous duties of 
the married woman. While buckwheat 
piroshki filled with bacon and spinach 
were being enjoyed on both sides of the 
long table, the abbess explained to her 
man-crazy women the male build, using 
the vegetable course, buttered (and pars- 
leyed) carrots, which with their varied 
shapes provided a graphic illustration of 
what a man is good for. How deeply 
penetrating he can be and how knobby. 
How soon he gives out and starts droop- 
ing pathetically. How brutal he becomes 
when he can't get it up. How unprofit- 
able this quick fucking is to women. How 
all he wants is children, especially sons. 
How soon he looks for variety in other 
beds. But how his spouse must never 
wander, never lust for other carrots. How 
hard his hand strikes. How suddenly he 
withdraws his favor and gets his carrot 
cooked soft away from home. 

But when the nuns, and especially the 
novices, kept squirming on their stools 
and persisted in seeing harder and more 
lasting promise in their buttered carrots, 
the abbess gave them permission to re- 
ceive visitors through the back door of 
the convent, and also to range freely 
eutide the cloister, thus acquainting 
them with the pleasures of the flesh and 
making them better able to resist the 
seductions of married life. 

Before saying grace and dismissing her 
charges, the abbess gave them further 
bits of advice: Let no quarrel over a 
codpiece ever disturb their monastic tran- 
quillity. Let them always remain good 
sisters to one another. Let them not con- 
tent themselves with holding still, but 
ride with and against. A man's thanks 
should always be we 
And never, never, never, must they suc- 
cumb to weepy, gushy love. 


GRET'S DOUBLE TREASURE 


Fat Gret's ass was as big as two collec- 
tive farms. And if you sexual sociologists, 
deep in worry blubber from counting 
flies’ legs, had been asked in as witnesses 
when, as she liked me to do on Wednes- 
days, I came at her from behind but first, 
to make it all soft and as wet as wept on, 
licked her asshole and environs like a 
goat (hungry for salt), which was easy to 
do when Fat Gret offered her double 
treasure for worship, you would have 
seen the archetype of Christian charity, 
our partner-oriented fervor; but my Ilse- 
bill—who is sometimes adventurous on 
‘Thursdays—has never, no matter how 
devoutly I get down on my knees to her, 
licked my ass, because she’s afraid her 


“I accept th 


is award on behalf of all the little people who 


did so much to make it possible. 


PLAYBOY 


tongue would drop off with her last shred 
of modesty. 

Yet Ilsebill reads books of all sizes in 
which the overcoming of inhibitions is 
said to be the first requirement for a 
free society. Never fear, ГЇЇ knock or 
teach these late-bourgeois refusal mech- 
anisms—"Somehow," she says, “I don't 
dare, I still don't dare"—out of her, and 
TH do it the way it says in her women's 
lib books, with partner-oriented conflict- 
ingroles games, until on one of these 
Catholic Fridays—believe me, holy fa- 
ther!—she and her little tongue will see 
how nice it is. For it can’t be bought 
and paid for. It's within reach of all. It 
has nothing to do with class. Old man 
Marx didn't know anything about it. It's 
a foretaste of beauty. As every dog knows. 
Oh, to sniff at, lick, taste and smell one 
another! 

But when I say to my Ilsebill, “Tomor- 
row is Saturday. I'll take a thorough bath, 
ТЇЇ smell of lavender all over,” she says, 
“So what?" Because we've lost the habit. 
Because we only read about it. Because 
if we mention it at all, we mean it sym- 
bolically. Because we've discussed it, 
chewed the whole thing over too often. 
Because we don't suspect what expectant 
rosebud lips an asshole is always mak- 
ing—all week long. 

For our playing fields—yours, ILebill, 
and mine—have just the right propor- 
tions: no speculator, no concrete-crazed 
developer can divide up your meadow, 
no flamingred party boss can grab my 
ass away from you (or yours from me). 
The ass is one thing that ideology is 
afraid to touch. Can't get its claws on it. 
Can't read any idea into it. Therefore 

it. Only gays are supposed to 
A kick in the ass is never- 
theless permissible, linguistically speak- 
ing. And with deplorable bad taste the 
asshole has been transformed into a term 
of opprobrium. Ass licking is looked 
down on, though the capitalist developer 
and the flaming-red party boss lick each 
other's asses, but without pleasure, for 
whether officially or unofficially they do 
it in trousers, their taste running to flan- 
nel, 50 percent worsted and 50 percent 
synthetic fiber. 

No, Usebill! It’s got to be bare. My 
meadows, your rolling hills. Our fields. 1 
worship it, God's rounded idea. Yes, yes, 
ever since the partly cloudy Neolithic, 
when Awa's dimples were still unnum- 
bered, the heavens for me have been 
festooned with asses. And when Mar- 
garete Rusch, the cooking nun, first let 
her sun rise for the runaway Franciscan 
monk—for me, in other words—l 
achieved an unveiled understanding of 
Saint Francis hymn: devotion, jubila- 
tion, industry. Forget no dimple. Stop to 


140 rest beside country lanes. The hills ask 


to be gently grazed. Deep in dialog. En- 
чапсе and exit exchange greetings. 
Where does the food go? Who's kissing 
whom? Insight gained. Soon I will know 
every bit of you. 

When Fat Gret let out a fart because 
I'd been licking her too meticulously, 
we both relished the breeze. After all, as 
usual on Wednesday, we had eaten beans 
with turnips and peppered pork chops: 
and anyone who is repelled by his sweet- 
heart's farts has no business talking 
about love. .. . All right, laugh. Get that 
stuffy look off your face. Have a heart. 


INSPECTION OF FECES 


In the fourth month of her pregnancy 
(and therefore suddenly wild about ha- 
zelnuts), Usebill lost an upper-right mo- 
lar made valuable by a gold crown and, 
taking fright as if a male toad were creep- 
ing up on her, swallowed it. All she spat 
out was the shell of the hazelnut, which, 
irony of ironies, had been empty. 

"Well?" I said next тогай 
look for it? It's gold, after all 

But she refused to inspect her morn- 
ing stools, let alone prod them with a 
washable fork. And I was forbidden to 
root around in her "excrement," as she 
contemptuously called it. 

"That's because you were brought up 
unwisely and too well,” I said. For our 
fecal matter should be important to us 
and not repel us. It's not a foreign body. 
It has our warmth. Nowadays it's being 
described again in books, shown in films 
and painted in still lifes. It had been 
forgotten, that's all. Because as far as I 
can think back and look behind me, all 
the cooks (inside me) have inspected their 
feces and—in all my time phases—mine 
as well. I was always under strict super- 
vision. 

During her years as an abbess, for in- 
stance, Fat Gret made all the novices 
bring her their chamber pots, and every 
kitchen boy who came to her for employ- 
ment had first to demonstrate his fitness 
by showing healthy stools. 

And even when, as Albrecht the sword- 
maker, 1 was plagued with daily Lenten 
fare, I was subjected to ex posteriori in- 
spections. So unyieldingly fanatical was 
my wife and meatless cook, Dorothea, 
about her ascetic way of life that, not 
content with setting a meatless and fat- 
less table, she checked on my intake at 
other people's tables by poking through 
my feces for undigested bits of sinew or 
traces of bacon rind or wipe fiber, and 
compared my deposit with her own High 
Gothic and penitential stools, which were 
always dry and transcendental in their 
pallor, whereas I had sinned—at guild 
banquets, when suckling pigs stuffed with 
milky millet were carved for the smiths 
and swordmakers; or when, sometimes in 
the woods and sometimes at the lodge of 


the stonemasons then working on Saint 
Peters in the Outer City, I cooked in 
secret with my friend Lud the wood 
carver sheep's kidneys and fat sheep's 
tails grilled over an open fire. Nothing 
could be concealed from Dorothea. Many 
a time I gave myself away by swallowing 
cartilage or small bones, which came out 
the other end intact. 

And when I was General Rapp. Napo- 
leon's governor of the Republic of Dan- 
zig, it was the cook Sophie Rotzoll who, 
because I had disparaged her mushroom 
dishes as indigestible, spread my shit on 
a silver platter and served it up to me. 
1 had a soldier's sense of humor; I put 
up with her impudence. And she was 
right: not a shred of mushroom skin, not 
a single mushroom worm to be seen. My 
palate grew keener and keener, and soon 
I was calling morels, milk caps and egg 
mushrooms delicate. My taste developed 
to the point where I wouldn't even forgo 
the tasty though sandy Polish green 
agaric, though the sand would have 
shown up in my gubernatorial stools. 

All my cooks, I say, have inspected 
feces, read the future in feces and, in 
prehistoric times, even carried on a pagan 
dialog with fecal matter. Wigga, for 
instance, examining the  still-steaming 
shitpile of a Gothic captain who had 
been so ill-mannered as to relieve him- 
self in the immediate vicinity of our 
Wicker Rastion settlement, read the in- 
exorable destiny of the Goths. who were 
soon to embark on their migration. In 
our Old Pomorshian tongue (the pre- 
cursor of presentday Kasubian) she 
oracled their division into Ostrogoths 
and Visigoths, into luminous Goths and 
sublime Goths: Ermanaric and the Huns, 
Alaric їп Rome. How Belisarius would 
take King Vitiges prisoner. The Battle of 
Châlons. And so on and so on. .. . 

In the Neo! on the other hand, 
when my primordial cook ruled, the i 
spection of feces was a feature of the cult. 
We Neolithic folk had entirely different 
customs, and not just in regard to eating. 
Each of us ate singly, with his back to the 
horde, not shamed but silent and intro- 
verted, immersed in mastication, eyeless. 
But we shat together, squatting in a circle 
and exchanging shouts of encouragement. 

After the horde shittogether, we felt 
collectively relieved and chatted happily, 
showing one another our finished prod- 
ucts, drawing pithy comparisons with 
past performances or teasing our con- 
stipated comrades, who were still squat- 
ting in vain. 

Needless to say, the farting incidental 
to the rite was also a social affair. What 
today is said to stink and is crudely amal- 
gamated with latrines and slit wenches— 
“It stinks like an army camp around 

(continued on page 360) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY SHIG IKEDA 


playboy plays santa's helper and comes up with 
a sleighful of christmas gifts for the women in your life 


There's nothing like receiving. 
something soft and slinky for 
Christmas to get the lady in 
your life into a giving mood. 
You might try several dozen 
pairs of different-colored Tactix 
panties, from Huk-A-Poo, about 
$2 each; or boots of ultra- 
soft calfskin, by Mignani, $210. 


Ml 


142 


Right: Denim jeans are great for 
fun in the sun, but when it 
comes la indoor sports, a girl 
prefers satin next to her 3l 
Fill her wish with a poir of 
these satin jeans, $38 ecch, by 
Sasson; warn with leather an- 
kle Бооз, $155, ar suede boots, 
alo $155, both by Mignani. 


Above: Diomands moy be a 
young ledy’s best friend, but a 
thinestone tie and necklace, by 
Jomi-Lynn, $30, worn in or out- 
side a tuxeda shi 
пеу'ѕ, $18, defini 


female, there's a shodow-fox 
jacket, by Caopchik Furs, $4000. 


article 


By PETER ROSS RANGE 


if you believe anita bryant, 
miami is the last bastion of the 
bible belt; if you believe the 
tourist ads, our southernmost 
city is a sexy promised land of 
sun and sand. the real story 
makes for our first installment 
in a major new series on the sex- 
ual profiles of american cities 


ATURDAY night in 

пі. In a parking 

just off 79th 
Street, a black hooker is 
going down on a white 
high school teacher who 
will soon return to his Ҹ 
family in a nearby suburb. At 
the trendy disco in the Hotel 
Mutiny at Sailboat Bay at the 
other end of town, a wealthy Vene- 
zuelan businessman is assiduously pur- 
suing a stunning 19-year-old Cuban girl, 
who teasingly whispers in his ear and, 
leaning forward, gives him a splendid 
view down the front of her flimsy black 
dress. On a dear day, you can see Ha- 
vana. Meanwhile, somewherc above their 


Miami parents feared gay teachers might cor- 
тир! their children (below). Not to worry. The 


button (abave) was the gays’ response. 


ILLUSTRATION BY VINCENT TOPAZIO 


(D THE MUTINY @ PLAYHOUSE I 

Q THE ANERNA © PALM BAY CINE 
RED LGHT DIRT © FIRST ST BEAH 
© ONN SEXY THINGS @ JKEY CINE 
© ANTA BRYANTS HIME (0) CLUB MAN 
(b EARN SEPY DBRENY'S MANSON 


ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN CRAIG 


The map ot left shows the approximate loca- 
tan cf Miami hot spots. Anita Bryont's 
house is noted purely for histarical reasons, 


heads, a couple writhes in pleasure be- 
neath the mirrored ceiling of the $125. 
anight Rameses room, one of the hotel's 
erotic King Tut's Chambers. Around the 
corner at the seedy Hamlet Bar in the 
heart of laid-back Coconut Grove, a 
jukebox blasts out rock and country 
songs toward a bar stacked five deep 
with trim young men in cutoffs, sandals 
and close-cropped beards. They are hap: 
pily homosexual and this is their turf. 
lt matters little to them that the next 
morning, anti-gay-rights warrior Anita 
Bryant will team with reborn Nixon 
hatchetman Charles Colson to celebrate 
a Sunday sunrise service on the causeway 
to Key Biscayne. 

Fifteen miles to the north in Miramar, 
several dozen Miami couples—including 
a municipal-court judge, an Eastern Air- 
lines pilot, a kitchenware salesman, two 
local cops and all their wives—are sip- 
ping drinks in a dimly lit club, plan- 
ning a swing party for later that night. 

Twenty-five miles away in Fort Lauder- 
dale, what may be the world's heaviest 
concentration of singles bars has become 
an unholy traffic jam. Thousands of 
young people, the prevailing physical 
type running to blond, blue-eyed and 
bronze-skinned (Homo beachus), are on 
the prowl. By dawn, а good number are 
bedded down in vans or motel rooms. 


In Coral Gables, just southwest of Mi- 
ami, the same thing has happened in four 
of the ten bedrooms of the Sigma Chi 
house, which threw an air-conditioned 
luau in its sunken living room for an en- 
tire sorority earlier that evening. As the 
sweet scent of burning Cannabis rises in 
the halls, another dozen young college 
couples are locking doors and enjoying 
their privacy in the University of Miami’s 
Pearson Hall across the campus. 

In Miami Beach, leisure-suited conven- 
tioneers with wives in beehive hairdos 
stroll the balmy sidewalks. A honey- 
mooning couple from Ohio calls up an 
Xrated movie on the television set in 
their room at the once-glamorous Fon- 
tainebleau Hilton. At the Emerald 
Lounge in the high-rise Americana hotel 
at the opposite end of Collins Avenue, 
Donna Waters, 25 and for sale, is closing 
a deal with a crewcut businessman from 
Memphis. They settle on $75 and he 
hands her the key to his room. He is about 
to get the best—and possibly the first— 
blow job of his life. At the far south end 
of Miami Beach, where the average age 
is 69 and rising, there are six widows or 
divorcees for every unmarried man. Ап 
old geezer complains, "Why these odds 
at my age?" He returns to his white- 
washed residence hotel with a new lady- 
friend who spent the first 50 years of her 
life in Hoboken. 

At the Crazy Horse Saloon on north 
Biscayne Boulevard, conservatively 
dressed businessmen sip their three-dollar 
whiskeys and a leggy blonde showstopper 


named Dana crawls out of her black 
corset and garter belt until there is noth- 
ing left but spectacular womanhood. 
Across the road at the self-consciously 
exclusive Cricket Club, a couple in their 
early 20s is performing Saturday Night 


1 / 


ОВТ рр 


| » SWINGERS d 


Fever in a basement disco called Le 
Dome. The male of the species is so pre- 
occupied with the sight of himself in 
the ceiling mirrors that he fails to notice 
when the spaghetti straps of his lithe 
partner's dress slip from her shoulders. 
The millisecond strobe flashes begin 
bouncing off pert young breasts, 

Yes, there is sex in Miami. Sort of. 

D 

This is a tale of 63 cities, a dozen 
ethnic and age groups, numerous life- 
styles and plenty of conflicting opinions. 
Miami, our Southernmost large city, like 
Los Angeles 2700 miles to the West, is no 
unified community with a geographical 
heart and logical meshing of its compo- 
nent social parts. Tt is fragmented by 
its own suburban sprawl and diverse 
lifestyles, with everything constantly 
changing. There are 27 municipalities 


ї 
4 
{ 
| 


The skin trade: The Crazy Horse Saloon is 
Miami's foremost bottomless night club. 
Owner Stan Kaufman is planning an all- 
male go-go club for women next door and 
а club for cheating husbands upstairs. 


Scturday-night fever: Na, the girl is not 
trying out for a spot as place kicker for 
the Dolphins. She's getting her yayas aut at 
Le Dome disca, the favorite haunt af the 
"in" crowd, in the exclusive Cricket Club. 


оп Sunday afternoon, a wet-T-shirt contest 
оп Sunday night and a wet-nightgown 


contest on Tuesday night. Encare. Encore. 


147 


PLAYBOY 


148 


Dade County, ranging from 
garish and world-famous Miami Beach 
to the conservative middlc-American 
community of South Miami in the far 
southwestern corner of the sprawl that 
reaches to the very lips of the Ever- 
glades. One must reach north into 
Broward County—home of Fort Lauder- 
dale, Pompano Beach and 29 other mu- 
nicipalities—to complete the portrait of 
what passes demographically, socially 
and sexually as Miami, Broward is the 
hyper-WASP outpost of south Florida, 
a growing counterweight to the Jewish 
and, above all, the Cuban influences in 
Miami proper. As in Los Angeles, the 
many parts of this sun-bleached pie-in- 
the-palms are bound together by endless 
ribbons of elevated interstate concrete 
that makes south Florida, like Southern 
California, an economic unit on wheels. 

lt is thus not surprising that there is 
no single prevailing sexual Geist, style or 
energy in Miami. Baron Sepy Dobronyi, 
the exiled Hungarian sculptor and con- 
firmed bon vivant who provided his strik- 
ing home in Coconut Grove as a set 
for Deep Throat, coexists more or less 
peacefully with Anita Bryant, who lives 
across a causeway and believes you will 
go to hell if you cat sperm. The white- 
Corvetteand-swimming-pool lifestyle at 
Suntan U, as the University of Miami 
loathes being called, spreads palm by 
parking lot into the conservative, con- 
sumer-minded suburbs of the southwest, 
which support only a handful of por- 
nography shops and contain a large num- 
ber of churches. Only the streets acrawl 
with bronzed kids on bikes prove that, at 
Jeast in the privacy of their homes, these 
people, too, have sex. 

The singles scene ranges from teeny- 
boppers and high school truants on the 
First Street beach near the dog wack in 
Miami Beach to the gold-digging young 
models dressed to the teeth in search of 
а wellheeled sugar daddy at the exclu- 
sive Jockey and Palm Bay clubs on north 
iscayne Boulevard. The city seems to 
have more private clubs than standard 
singles bars and you have to know where 
to find them. Miami night life is an en- 
tirely indoor affair and you get there in 
an automobile (the bigger the better). 

That is especially true in Fort Lauder- 
dale, which has become Miami's WASP 
satellite and the capital of blonde, blue- 
eyed fun in south Florida, with a beach 
scene, an enormous singles-bar scene and 
an apartment scene. Whether true or 
not, the bi that the Cubans are taking 
over Miami—several discos have been 
" in recent years—is increas- 
ng Miami's Anglos 30 minutes 
up L95 to Fort Lauderdale for their 
social life. In many cases, Anglos are, in 


fact, moving to Fort Lauderdale and 
commuting to their jobs in Miami. 

Moving up the age spectrum, there is 
among middle-class marrieds in south 
Florida a fast-growing swingers move- 
ment—formerly known as wife swapping, 
but that's déclassé now, especially since 
the swappers may not even be married. 
Indeed, with the gay community finally 
living more or less out in the sunshine, 
swinging is Florida's largest closet indus. 
try. Miamians swing, but, like porcupines 
and sunburned snowbirds (winter tour- 
ists from the North), they do it very, 
very carefully. 

Miami has its share of prostitutes, 
massage parlors and pornography shops, 
though rather fewer than most would ex- 
pect. Miami's role as the destination of 
the footloose tourist, long since over- 
taken by Club Med and other Caribbean 
resorts, has yielded almost exclusively to 
the convention trade in the beach hotels. 
This often means that wives are part of 
the trip, so the sexiest thing that hap- 
pens is that Mom and Pop get their juices 
running before bedtime by taking in a 
Las Vegas-style flesh-and-feathers show. 
Yet for the conventioneer on the loose, 
there is a subtle sprinkling of (mostly 
white) cruising hookers in many hotel 
bars and an unsubtle parade of (mostly 
black and Puerto Rican) frontseat-of- 
yourcar blowjob artists walking the 
streets of Miami's combat zone around 
79th Street and Biscayne Boulevard. 
And, if you've got the bucks, escort serv- 
ices provide the kind of date a man of 
means would not mind taking to dinner 
as part of the preliminaries. 

Pornography, oddly enough, appears 
to be of declining interest in Miami. A 
determined antismut drive has driven 
most dirty bookstores from downtown 
and halted new openings in the combat 
zone. The only porn store that opened in 
the Little Havana district was almost 
immediately bombed by Cuban radical 
zealots. A number of adult stores have 
reached a prosperous plateau in sub- 
urban shopping arcas, where a busi- 
nessman can take in a peep show on 
the way home to the kiddies. Patty 
Wheat, a very successful sex-shop oper- 
ator who specializes in sexy lingerie, 
79 kinds of vibrators and medium-core 
porn, runs three stores in outlying areas 
that draw a high percentage of customers 
over 40 in expensive cars. She also runs а 
"swingers exchange," where, for two dol- 
lars, you can check her listings of pro- 
spective swingers. 

Pornography is stronger and more 
open in Fort Lauderdale. It is part of 
Miami's schizoid personality that while 
Linda Lovelace could do her thing to 
Harry Reems on the set in Coconut 
Grove, it is not legally possible to pub- 


licly exhibit an uncut version of Deep 
Throat in Dade County. In Broward 
County, where Miami transplants are so 
eager to avoid the ethnic diver 
Miami, you can not only sce Linda sw. 
low Harry whole but also sample a wider 
range of porn shops than in Dade. 

And then there is Miami's gay com- 
munity, at an estimated 200,000 strong 
one of the largest in the country. Gays 
come to Miami for the same reason as 
straights: the good weather, the easy life, 
plenty of jobs in the service and con- 
sumer industries, The relaxed dressing 
habits of Coconut Grove, with its gaily 
painted pastel buildings and waterfront 
parks, are congenial for body-conscious 
young men who favor tight shorts and 
tank tops all year round, Anita Bryant 
notwithstanding, the gay community is а 
comfortable, well-accepted fixture in the 
panoply of Miami life. 

Miami is a place of rootlessness and 
transitory relationships. This is where 
the Heartbreak Kid left his bride for 
Cybill Shepherd. It is not a good place 
to find the ultimate mate, for mating is 
not the name of the Miami game. 

Rachel Copelan, a Miami author and 
sex therapist who is something of a local 
media sex guru, says, “The tourist char- 
acter of the area leads to a lot of 
one-night stands and short-term relation- 
ships" The merry-gotound of sexual 
liaisons in Miami may also account for 
Florida's spot at the very top of the 
national V.D. per-capita rate for the разг 
two years. Dade County V.D. Control 
reports over 230 cases of gonorrhea each 
week and 100 of syphilis cach month, 
There is also a very high incidence of 
teenaged pregnancy in the county, now 
estimated by Planned Parenthood at 
one in four. 

Since sex is the ultimate form of so 
cial life, u derstanding the Miami sexual 
scene requires breaking down the social 
world into some of its component parts. 


SINGLES 


There are an estimated 325,000 un- 
married people between the ages of 18 
and 40 in Dade County. An astounding 
50 percent of them have never been mar- 
ried, while 26 percent are divorcees—at 
least once. For those whose job is some- 
thing more than lying on the beach, 
there are a number of professional 
attractions. Young men with business or 
law degrees come to Miami for some of 
the same reasons they go to Adanta: It 
has become a booming regional distribu- 
tion headquarters and financial center— 
the region is not only Florida but also 
the Caribbean and Latin America. Miami 
has always been the tourist's gateway to 
Latin America (not to mention the 

(continued on page 186) 


“That was lovely, dear. But 1 would like to get out of 
the kitchen sometime during the holidays." 


149 


ILLUSTRATION BY KATHY CALDERWOOD 


article By HOWARD RHEINGOLD 
twenty years from nou, 

there will be a chemical 

for every occasion — 

and you may need a medicine 
cabinet the size of a 

garage to hold your stash 


NVONE WHO HAS HAD a cup of coffee at breakfast, a martini a 
a) lunch, a ji or a line of coke after work should know that t 
drug industry (both legal and ille; plans for his future, АП 

the customary chem fun makers will soon be replaced by new stream- 
lined models. fn the year 2001, the man above town will select his state of 
consciousness from moment to moment and commute between mental 
ily as we now commute between continents. 

tories from Switzerland to New Jersey efficiently modern- 
ize the 1 of intoxication, d designers and social scientists are 
constructing scenarios about the future of our mental state. The most 
conservative of these computer-assisted prophecies (continued on page 256) 


152 England Patriots (which 


it's the action on the side lines, not the goal lines, that gets the big play these days, so why 
did most of the n.f.l. brass give playboy the cold shoulder pads? read on 


article By ROBERT BLAIR KAISER 


ANYONE AUDITING the books this past summer at the offices of 
the Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears, Philadelphia Eagles— 
in fact, at all but a handful of the 28 clubs in the National 
Football League—would find items in the budget for make-up 
men, hair stylists, costume designers, fashion consultants and 
choreographers. Choreographers? On a football club? What in 
the name of Vince Lombardi was happening in the N.F.L.? 

What was happening? Simply this: A majority of clubs had 
decided, after some considerable soul searching, to emulate the 
Dallas Cowboys and get some sexy new cheerleader /dancers of 
their own. Super Bowl XII probably had a lot to do with the 
choice. None of the 100,000,000 Americans who watched 
Dallas beat Denver in the Superdome last January could help 
but notice (thanks to the CBS cameramen and their adroit 
producers) that both clubs also had crews of lusty wenches 
rooting them on. 

Owners and general managers and promotion directors all 
over the league started phoning Dallas апа Denver, looking 
for tips on how they managed to put together such fine groups 
of young women. Certain season-ticket holders who had the 
ear of management contributed some gentle urging of their 
own. In Los Angeles, David Mirisch, Hollywood press agent, 
nephew of the movie- 
making Mirisch Broth- 
ers, wrote to the Rams" 
Carroll Rosenbloom. He 
wondered, "How can 
Dallas and Denver field 
these sexy women while 
Los Angeles, the film 
capital of the world, 
does nothing at all?" 
Alter the Eagles were 
drubbed by the St. Louis 
Cardinals in St. Louis, 
where the Cards had 
been rooted on by their 
own clasy Big Red 
Line, Phil owner 
Leonard Tose was told 
by his girlfriend, Caro- 
line Cullum, "Dai 
our ladies aren't looking 
that hot. We've got to 
get our cheerleaders! act 
together." In Boston, 
Mike Chamberlain, di- 
rector of sales and pro- 
motion for the New 


In the photo above, Linda Kellum (middle) and Charyl Russell (right) really were 
putting some "^isbaom" into a Dallas Cowboys game, but they have since said 
“Bah” to the stringent restrictions af the Cowboys organization and, with several 
other ex-Dallos Cowboys Cheerleaders, formed Texas Cowgirls, Inc. At right, the 
Cowgirls do а take-off on the Cowboys Cheerleaders poster in an Amy Freytog 
Photo. From left: Debbie Kepley, Cheryl, Lindo, 


has had a less than outstanding group for several years), said 
ata club meeting, "If we're going to have ‘em, let's make use 
of "em." In all three cases, the owners said, "Good idea. See if 
you can put together a troupe." 

They did. They held open tryouts, They hired chore- 
Ographers. They had costumes designed. They developed jazz- 
dance routines. The year before in New England, 85 had 
tried out for the cheerleading squad. Last summer, 480 beau- 
ties showed up for 32 spots on the Patriots’ side linés, 

lt was much the same all over the league. The Baltimore 
Colts had had a cheerleading group for years. But now they 
made a real effort to upgrade them, had new costumes 
designed, developed niftier routines. Houston Oilers owner 
Bud Adams dropped a team from a local junior college, with 
its old-fashioned "two-bits, four-bits, bits, a dollar" cheers, 
aud hired Darla Humes, who ran a popular disco out on the 
Gulf Freeway, "to put together a super dance group—but not 
a group that looks like a bunch of hookers.” In Miami, owner 
Joe Robbie hired June Taylor to assemble something worthy 
of the Dolphins. She did: Her Dolphin Starbrites are as stun- 
ning as the girls who danced for her on The Jackie Gleason 
Show in the Fifties and Sixties. In Buffalo, they liberalized 
the eligibility require- 
ments for the Jills; until 
this year, they had to be 
over 21 and married. 
Now the Jills look jazz- 
ier: Half their troupe 
of 25 are unmarried and 
under 21. In New Or- 
leans, owner John 
Mecom, Jr, and his 
wite, Katsy, changed the 
name of their troupe 
from Bonnes Amies to 
Angels—and then put 
the famed New York de- 
signer Halston to work 
on a new, satanically 
angelic costume for 
them, In Cincinnati, the 
staid Paul Brown gave 
the go-ahead to organ- 
ize a group called the 
Ben-Gals, Even ultracon- 
servati Green Bay 
joined in the fun. The 
Packers invited three lo- 
cal TV stations to cover 
their open tryouts and 


Janice Gorner and Meg Rossi. 


The sun-bathed swarm of 
ladies at right is try- 

ing cut far the Los 
Angeles Rams’ Embrace- 
able Ewes. The chasen 
few will join Rams 
cheerleader Anne Mar- 
tin (belaw left), wha 

is currently a student 

at USC and was the 1976 
Taurnament of Rases 
Queen. Appropriately, 
Anne admits to a special 
fandness for athletes. 


"There's na way I’m 
going to poss up the 
chance,” says Denver 
Pany Express member 
Dichonn "Dee" Miller 
(above right), ex- 
plaining why she chase 
ta let us photograph 
her seminude in spite 
af restrictions by the 
Broncos’ management. 
At right, Pany 
Lynda Hatfield plays 
how-dee-do with 
Mickey Mause at half Î 
ime. Lynda, a former 
Bunny at the Denver 
Playboy Club, is a Pany 
Express choreagrapher. 


asked the townsfolk to help pick a 
suitable name (the Sideliners) for the 
cheerleader/dancers who would be 
their answer to the Dallas challenge. 

“It all started about six years ago,” 
recalls Tex Schramm, general man- 
ager of the world-champion Dallas 
Cowboys, “when we evaluated our 
fans’ response to the kinds of cheer- 
leaders we'd had here from the outset. 
The fans simply didn't pay much 
attention to our old-fashioned cheer- 
leaders.” Jt was not a terribly astute 
observation. Nowhere do pro-football 
fans join in organized cheers like the 
college kids do. But Schramm's genius 
was to recognize that fact—and do 
something about it. 

"We changed our approach," says 
Schramm. "We decided to make our 
cheerleaders more or less atmosphere 
producers. We used them to bring ex- 
Citement and showmanship to our 
new stadium. Gradually, they began 
to do that. I think they really started 
catching on in 1975—in that play-off 
game in L.A. And then finally that 
season in the Super Bowl.” The Cow- 
boys lost Super Bowl X to the Steelers, 
21-17. But Schramm remembers that 
the Dallas cheerleaders (he still calls 
them cheerleaders, even though they 
don't lead cheers) got a lot of atten- 
tion from the TV cameramen. 

Aha. TV. The most pervasive force 
in America, the force that not only 
reflects reality but helps shape it as 
well The thing is, Schramm ex- 
plained, there's no better segue from 
the playing field to a TV commercial 
(or vice versa) than a good shot of a 
pretty girl. Of course, that sometimes 
causes problems for the likes of a Jack 
Buck up in the announcers booth. 
(One day last season, Buck and Andy 
Russell were doing a Miami-Raltimore 
game in Baltimore for CBS. A camera- 
man found a cheerleader with a star- 
tlingly good figure and the producer 
punched the shot up on the screen. 
“Uhh,” gasped Buck. “It’s getting so 
that ‘a pair on the 50 doesn't have 
the same meaning anymore.") 

Ah, yes. There you have it. Pro 


San Diego Chargers cheerleader Lynita 
Shilling (above right) expects little flak 
from the relatively liberal Chargers: “Our 
director encouraged us to toke advon- 
tage of the opportunity,” she soys. “1 
would hope manogement would support 
me.” Jill Zoleski (right), a Philodelphia 
Eagles cheerleader, is a student at Villo- 
novo with her eye on o career as a dentist. 


football has never been the kind of 
rah-rah sport that college football is, 
and what the pros arc selling with 
these girls is sex. But no team wants 
to admit that, All of them talk about 
the amateur qualities of their squads 
of women. 

One of the ways they emphasize 

ї amateur status, incidentally, is by 
paying the girls little or nothing. 
Fifteen dollars a game is tops in 
the N.F.L—and nothing for the days 
and nights of grueling practice ses- 
sions, nothing for having to memorize 
dance routines and cheers, nothing 
for braving icy rains in December. 

at fringe benefits they get—in Dal- 
for example, a 13-week course 
from Dale Carnegie, plus fashion and 
make-up consultations and dance les- 
sons from a choreographer—are useful 
'onsuming. 
choreographer is Texie Wa- 
ttractive 40ish bru- 
nette who had a big say in the Lorch 
of Dallas design of the Cowboys’ 
Cheerleader costume, part of which is 
a sexy blouse, made to be tied up 
bDaremidriff style. As Texie points 
out, "It was very low-cut, so we had to 
hnd girls who would fill ‘em ош. 

Or, as songwriter (and Oscar nomi- 
nee) Carol Connors observed when 
asked to write a disco song for them: 

‘What can 1 say about the Dallas 
Cowgirls? Nothing rhymes with cleav- 
age!” (Connors managed to overcome 
the problem. Sample lyrics: “Deep in 
the heart of us Cowgirls, / Shinin’ 
through our Texas eyes, / Is the love 
we have for the Cowboys. / The star 
of Texas is on the rise! 

A reference to burgeoning bustlines 

bout as close as anybody connected 
with any team gets to the subject of 
sex. And many team spokesmen 
turned virtually apoplectic when the 
subject of featuring the cheerleaders 
in PLAYBOY was broached—though the 
sky didn't exactly fall in back in Sep 
tember 1974, when we pictured Raid- 
erette Jane Lubeck in glorious 
fullfrontal nudity. Jane, in fact, is 
now (text continued on page 159) 


At tryouts such as the one at middle left, 
girls like LouAnn Ridenoure (top lef) put 
their dreams on the line (the 50-yard 
kind), but sometimes thot dream is shat- 
tered. Because Bronca management 
leorned she had posed nude for PLAYBOY. 
LouAnn was dropped from the Denver 
Pony Express. New England Potriots cheer- 
leader Ito (bottom left) is a choreog- 
ropher for a locol TY dance show. 


Claudia Mendron (left) is not only a member of the Chicago Bears’ 
cheerleading Honey Bears, she's a Bunny at the Chicago Playboy Club. 
She strictly avoids fraternizing with the players, except Bears 
quarterback Bob Avellini, her boyfriend. Perhaps it's the strenuous 
nature of cheerleading (as evidenced by the St. Louis Cardinals" 

Big Red Line, above) that keeps New Orleans cheerleader Bunny 

Hover (below) in such good shape. And she is in very goad shape. 


Ann Leuba (above left) is a San Diego Chargers cheerleader on Sunday ond a nurse's aide Monday through Friday. Kim Santy (above 
tight) is а Seattle Sea Gal whose ambition is to work in hotel administratian and sales. Andrea Mann was a cheerleader for the Baltimore 
Colis until she sat far the picture belaw, after which she got a call: “Don’t bother to come to practice, We don’t want your type of girl.” 
Furious, Andrea asked: “Why is it OK to shake your breasts on the field but not ta pose for a classy magazine?” 


one of the choreographers of the 
Rams cheerleaders, nicknamed the 
Embraceable Ewes in L.A. 

Schramm may have echoed the sen- 
ments of many when he told me, 
Til talk to you about the article 

you're writing. Maybe. But what kind 
of pictures you going to use? I'm wi 
ried about the pictures. 

Now, anyone who has had a glimpse 
of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders 
knows that Schramm and his associates 
have assembled some of the sexiest 
girls in all of North America. Yet 
PLAYBOY found Schramm and many 
others among the N.F.L. brass actu- 
ally trying to hide their girls—much 
to the disgust of the girls themselves, 
who didn't think they wanted protec- 
tion so much as more exposure. 

Many of these cheerleaders yearned 
to pose for PLAYBOY. But the men in 
the N.F.L. didn't want them to. The 
whole scene was a microcosm of the 
bigger world outside, where men 
were still trying to give women more 
"respect" (by not voting to ratify the 
Equal Rights Amendment, for exam- 
ple) than women themselves thought 
they needed. 

. 

PLAYBOY photographers were on the 
story long before I was. One lensman, 
Mary Newman, started shooting mem- 
bers of the Denver Pony Express do- 
ing their sideline stuif in the middle 
of last season. Struck by the girls’ 
freshness and vivacity, he proposed 
that they do a FLaysor picture story. 

While that project was still in the 
talking stage, Denver officials, most 
notably PR man Bob Peck, who is the 
official “protector” of the girls on the 
Pony Express, accused Newman of 
“sneaking around behind our backs,” 
even, horrors, calling girls at home to 
encourage their posing for PLAYBOY. 
Peck threatened legal action and laid 
down an order to the girls: No posing. 
Some protested. They wanted to be in 
rLAYBOY; couldn't they pose if they 
kept (most of) their clothes on? Faced 
with that option, Peck relented. 

When I met Peck in June, he 


The bare honey above right is Jac- 
quelyn Rahrs, a member of the Chicago 
Bears’ cheerleading squad, the Honey 
Bears. Jackie has created her own line 
af cosmetics, called Jacquelyn K Crea- 
tians, which she hapes to market ne 
wide. Her favorite sparts are sl 
ballooning and, af course, pom-pom 
waving with the Honey Bears (right). 


а wellformulated posit 

want to have o ake and eat it, too,” 
he said. "We'd like to get the pub- 
licity. We'd like some attention from 
PLAYBOY. But we work in a small 
town here. This isnt New York or 
L.A. We can't live with the nudity." 

Alvin Flanagan, president of Den- 
ver's channel nine, a cosponsor of the 
Pony Express, tried to articulate the 
no-nudity decision. "Why no nude: 
he said. “Well, no real good reason 
Just instinct, I guess." He said he was 
thinking of one swect young thing 
who showed up in the modeling seg, 
ment of the Pony Express tryouts this 
year dressed in an exquisite white 
gown and carrying a white parasol. 
“We felt th: lowed our girls 
to pose in the nude, we'd never get 
a certain type of classy girl to try out 
for the Pony Express again.” 

What was the Broncos final posi- 
tion, as articulated by Peck? This 

hat the members of the Pony Ex- 
press are all of age and it’s a free 
country. They can pose for PLAYBOY 
i vith our blessing. But if 
they pose in the nude, they can't be 


members of the Pony Express any 


t seemed eerily politic. Peck was 
avoiding two dangerous extremes: tell- 
ing the girls what they could do and 
telling them what they could not do. 
He phoned Ted Haracz, his opposite 
number at the Chicago Bears, to tell 
of his Solomonlike solution—and to 
warn him that 1 was coming to Ch 
cago. When ived, a day Jater, at 
Haracz office much a football 
shrine as anyplace in the country 
with onc of the N.F.L.'s rcal live gods, 
George Halas, actually sitting there 
his office doing business), Peck's posi- 
tion had been adopted by the Bears, 
too. The Honey Bears could pose for 
PLAYEOY, but not in the nude. 

(1 got the impression that both 
Harac and the Bears’ general man- 
ager, Jim Finks, were of a mind to let 
the girls exercise their own judgment 
about their own private lives. Haracz 

(text continued on page 380) 


Julie Jourdan (above left) is an Em- 
braceable Ewe for the LA. Rams. The 
hapless hamster is not a Rams тозсо} 
but а prop for on as-yet-unpublished 
PLAYBOY pictorial, Dr. Jekyll and Ms. 
Hyde, far which she modeled. The 
partly gent in the Denver Broncos’ 
cheerleading line (left) is a professional 
home invader during the holidays. 


Tina Guide, a captain of the Chicago Honey 
Bears, is seen dancing above at Chicago's 
B.B.C. disco, partly owned by Bears left 
linebacker Doug Buffone. Tampa Bay 


cheerleader Stephanie Grooms (right) sky- 


dives in her free time and gives her 
all for the Buccaneers on Sunday (insert). 
Sen Diogo cheorloador Elizabeth Caleca 
(below) was Miss Nude California 1977 
and first runner-up for Miss Nude U.S.A. 


152 


and now for something 
completely different: 


TEXAS COWGIRLS, INC. 


n 1976, dark-eyed, sultry Tina Jime- 

nez was a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader. 
In 1977, she found herself outside Texas 
Stadium, looking in. She was cut, she 
says, “for no good reason.” So, too, 
were a lot of her friends. Why? Possi- 
bly because they didn’t care to keep 
some of what Tina calls “the archaic 
rules of the club." Or maybe it was be- 
cause the Cowboys wanted girls "who 
didn't ask questions." 

Most profootball clubs have a den 
mother for their cheerleaders to pre- 
serve the girl-next-door image. In Dallas, 
the den mother is Suzanne Mitchell, 32, 
unmarried and as severe vith her girls 
as she is with members of the press and 
the public who want to meet them. She 
turns down, she says, 25 percent of all 
appearance iequests aud docs nut allow 
the girls to go anywhere where liquor 
is served. (One off-limits location: the 
Dallas Playboy Club.) “No popping out 
of cakes at bachelor parties, no disco 
openings for them,” she says tersely. “The 
girls are a cross section of American wom- 
anhood. But they have more fun." 

Tina laughs at that. "They said we 
shouldn't go where alcohol is served. So 
why did they allow us in Texas Sta- 
dium itself? Every other party in the 
stands had sneaked in a bottle.” 

The former Cowboys Cheerleaders 
didn't enjoy being outsiders. "After we 
were cut," says Tina, "we thought, Why 
go back to a nine-to-five job? Especially 
when you're beautiful and talented.” 

‘Tina and her friends found a solu- 
tion. Using her savings, and with Tina 
as president and “mother hen,” they 
formed a new group of ex-cheerleaders, 
called Texas Cowgirls, Inc. There are 
25 in the group, no more, no fewer, all 
under 25. They won't cheer on the Cow- 
boys in the stadium, but they won't miss 
that too much. One of their group got 
frostbite last year and lost all ten of her 
toenails. 

Tina, who is so busy organizing things 
that she doesn't perform with the Cow- 
girls, says they've got the looks and the 
experience; and, naturally enough, they 
look a lot like the group from which 
they've spun off. They wear tight-fitting 
electric-blue body suits that zip down 
the front, (concluded on page 380) 


Four of the ladies on this spread are the same members of the Texas Cowgirls, Inc., ve introduced ot the beginning of this pictorial, but thof's 
no reason why you can’t enjoy o little more of them. As with ony successful group effort, each member of the Cowgirls hos her own individual, 
we might even soy singular, tostes. Linda Kellum (opposite page) hates Spom, loves kittens ond babies ond rides а mean motorcycle. Debbie 
Kepley (above left) dislikes overweight people ond loves to spend time in the sun. Down Stonsell (obove center), a dental assistant in Longview, 
Texas, con't abide potbellied men. Charyl Russell (obove right) hos eyes of two colors ond cloims she collects warped records. 
Garner, (below) is a Dollas model who writes music, and if her music is holf оз good as her looks, she's bound for the top of the chorts. 


164 


TWELVE 
TOUGH 
MUTHUHS 


ILLUSTRATION BY KINUKO Y. CRAFT 


article BY DAN GREENBURG 


ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS they tell you is 
that jury trials in the criminal court are 
nothing at all like they are on TV. 

I am here to tell you that jury trials 
in the criminal court are almost exactly 
like they are on TV, except, of course, 
that they do go on a hell of a lot longer 
and that, after a certain point, the jurors 
are locked up at night, which doesn't 
happen after you are done watching a 
trial on ТУ. But more about that later, 

If I had known then what I know 
now, I wouldn't have postponed my jury 
duty since my first call 13 years ago. 
Like you, I thought it was my civic 
duty and. as such, a thing to be avoided 
like psoriasis. Like you, I thought juries 
were comprised of the old and the poor 
and of those too dumb to finagle their 
way out of them. 

As it happens, I was wrong. When I 
finally did serve, I found that my fellow 
jurors were mostly smart, mostly young, 
mostly well-paid’ collegeeducated pro- 
fessional people, and that it was one of 
the most fascinating things I've done 
because I hed to in my adult life. 

e. 

I head toward downtown Manhattan 
оп the Lexington Avenue subway early 
one unpleasant October morning to re- 
port for jury duty along with several 
hundred other disgruntled but civic- 
minded citizens, We check in with the 
clerk at the door and are told to sit and 
wait in a huge assembly room. Our 
names are then called in several group- 
ings, whereupon we are herded together 
and moved to smaller rooms, where we 
arc told to sit and wait for our names 
to be called again, and so on, and so on, 
Tor most of the first morning. ‘The only 
encouraging note is that we are taken 
to the criminal rather than the civil 
court—perhaps instead of some tiresome 
squabble between landlord and tenant, 


we'll luck into a sordid crime of passion. 


° 

We're in luck—the case to which we're 
assigned is one of attempted murder. 
The judge is a scholarly looking man 


if you don’t mind the horrible 
food, the fear of sudden, crazed 
homosexual attacks and being 
cooped up in an airless room 
with 11 strangers, deciding the 
fate of some people you don't 
even know isn't all that bad 


perhaps in his early 40s. His name is 
Blumenthal. He wears glasses, has a 
beard, is balding and has a kindly, se 
ous, occasionally humorous, almost rab- 
binical manner. Judge Blumenthal tells 
us that we are about to be examined 
for s ity of service, that both the 
assistant district attorney and the a 
tomeys for the defense will be perm 
ted to ask us a number of questions and 
that, should we be dismissed, we are 
not to feel rejected. It is something we 
are to hear a number of times, and it 
seems a trifle foolish, yct I notice that 
most of those dismissed do become petu- 
lant when they're excused, behaving as if 
they've been excluded not from a jury 
trial but from some really chic dinner 
party for Truman Capote. 

lam in the first group of 12 prospec 
tive jurors called into the jury box for 
examination. The courtroom is a pleas- 
ant wood-paneled affair and, though 
Judge Blumenthal and others repeated- 
ly remind us that this is nothing like 
TV, everything in the courtroom has 
been seen before on the tube—the jury 
box, the judges gallery, the court. re 
porter, and so on. As a matter of fact, 
the court reporter is a dead ringer for 
Paul Drake, Perry Mason’s silver-haired 
private investigator. 

We are told that two black men, aged 
19, who are seated with their court- 
appointed attorneys at the defense table, 
are accused of robbing and attempting 
to murder a young Yugoslavian cab- 
driver. They're charged with attempted 
homicide in the second degree, attempt- 
ed robbery in the first degree, attempted 
grand larceny, assault and possession of 
a deadly weapon. The cabdriver was 
shot three times at point-blank range, 
but he perversely insisted on living, and 
he's the only witness to the event. 

Assistant D. O'Halloran, a very 
seriouslooking man in a three-piece 
pin-striped suit and wire-rimmed glasses, 
will attempt to prove that the two 
levolentlooking defendants, Sonny 
King and Leroy White, were the actual 
as well as the alleged “poipetrators.” 

Messrs. King and White look at us 
with a long, steady glare that is com- 
posed equally of wide-eyed amazement 
that anyone as innocent as they are could 
ever be suspected of deeds so horrible 
and of grim assurance that if we find 
them guilty, they will serve their time 
and then track us all down like dogs 
and shoot us, too. The trial, as far as I'm 
concerned, is a mere formality—it is 


PLAYBOY 


clear to me they are both guilty. 

"The court-appointed attorneys who 
are to defend them are two men in thei 
30s named Fator and Klein. Fator wears 
plasticrimmed glasses with unusual gim- 
micky shapes, a mariner’s beard without 
a mustache and a combination of bi- 
zarrely patterned sports coat, bizarrely 
patterned shirt and bizarrely patterned 
ue that could conceivably have been se- 
lected 10 appeal to any bohemians on 
the jury. His manner is dry and sarcas- 
tic. T do not find him dancing his way 
into my heart. 

Klein is dressed, like O'Halloran, in 
a conservative business suit. To say that 

is manner is theatrical is to make the 
blandest of understatements. Over the 
next several days, Klein reacts to every 
occurrence in the courtroom as though 
he were compelled by some legal tech- 
nicality to address the jury in iambic 
pentameter. For some reason, I find hi 
outrageous behavior amusing. 

"The questioning of jurors proceeds 
obscurely. Two black women, who might 
be presumed to be biased in favor of 
the defendants, are permitted by the 
D.A. to remain, as is an NYU professor 
who admits he was mugged on а subway 
by two blacks like the accused and who 
might himself be presumed to have 
some teeny bias regarding the defend- 
ants. About half of the first 12 ques- 
tioned are dismissed [or no reason that 
I am able to divine. They leave acting 
rejected and petulant. 

When it comes time for me to be 
examined, I get the distinct impression 
1 myself am on trial. I have the uneasy 
fecling I am guilty of something but 
that only they know what it is. When 
O'Halloran establishes that I am a writ- 
er, everybody gets cute and requests 
with mock concern that I not write 
about him. O'Halloran asks me if I've 
written anything he might have read 
and I reply that perhaps he might know 
such a thing better than 7 would. Be- 
cause of, or despite, the snappiness of 
that retort, I'm allowed to remain. I 
{cel idiotically proud of this and obscure- 
Jy relieved I didn't have to find out what 
it was I was guilty ol. 

The caliber of the questioning of pro- 
spective jurors is not startlingly high. 
"Do you have any bias that youre awarc 
of against Yugoslavs?” is one question 
that js asked repeatedly and "Do you 
have any bias against cabdrivers?” is 
another. Strangely, nobody asks whether 
ог not anyone has a bias against blacks. 
Perhaps nobody has noticed yet that the 
defendants are black. I decide it's not 
my place to point it out. 

By the end of the first day, all but two 
of the jurors have been impaneled. 
1 there is any logic behind the decisions 
of which jurors to dismiss and which to 


166 retain, it has totally eluded me. It seems 


to me that on at least one occasion I sce 
the attorneys surreptitiously flipping a 
coin. Judge Blumenthal warns us as he 
dismisses us for the day, as he is to do 
every time he dismisses us, not to dis- 
cuss the case with anyone, including our 
fellow jurors. 

The following day, the rest of the 
jurors are impaneled and the trial be- 
gins. The defense attorneys and the 
D.A. make their opening statements. 
The crime is re-created for us: One 
evening several months ago, Jaroslav 
Divinic, a young Yugoslavian cabdriver, 
w ng his taxi on Fifth Avenue 
alongside Central Park. He was flagged 
down by three young black men, who 
got into the cab and gave him an ad- 
dress in Harlem. The cabdriver proceed- 
ed 10 the address, whereupon two of the 
men got out and stood on cither side 
of the front of the cab and the third 
remained in the back without paying 
the fare. Divinic asked for his money 
and was told to hand over all his cash. 
A pistol was shoved through the win- 
dow.on the drivers side. Then, before 
Divinic could either comply or refuse, 
the gunman fired three point-blank shots 
at him and all three of the men fled. 
Divinic, bleeding badly, yet somehow 
still able to function, drove the car 
around the block, 


and drove him toa hospital. 

‘The first witness to take the stand is 
the gypsy cabdriver. He is a West Indian 
black and a little hard to understand. 
Both the defense attomeys and the D. 
question him extensively, having him 
repeat everything over and over again, 
until I want to scream. The second wit- 
ness is a young blond cop wearing а 
mustache, а gun and a plaid sports coat. 
His name is Philbrick and he is appar- 
ently the first policeman to have come 
upon the wounded Divinic. Fator jumps 
on him like a terrier and, for no appa 
ent reason, berates for not ques 
tioning the badly wounded Divinic at 
greater length about the crime before 
he's admitted to the hospital. “Mr. Fator 
wants to know why Officer Philbrick 
didn't grab Mr. Divinic by the shoulders 
and give him the third degree," says 
O'Halloran. 

The first piece of evidence is intro- 
duced and handed around from member 
to member of the jury. It is Divinis 
clipboard with his call noia ind it 
spattered with his dried blood. I find 


it repugnant and fascinating, On the 


clipboard, also spattered with blood, is 
an entreaty from the owner of the cab 
fleet, requesting all cabdrivers to keep 

i n. I can't help 
thinking how irritated he must have 
been to see how untidy Divinic had left 
his cab. 


‘The third witness called is the victim 
himself, Jaroslav Divinic. I am half 
dreading ‘the appearance of а maimed 
guy with half his face gone and am 
cheerfully amazed when D strolls 
into the courtroom. He is a handsome 
young man of 29, dressed in a plaid 
woo! jacket. 

Everybody seems instinctively to want 
to like Divinic. His heavy Yugoslav 
accent is both amusing and difficult to 
understand. At one point iı testi- 
mony, he recalls that he tried to “scrim 
through hole of de class" and even the 
judge has to contain himsell to keep 
from laughing. After much approaching 
of the bench by all attorneys, it appears 
that Di ing of his difficulty 
in screaming through the hole in the 
glass divider between the front and back 
seats. He identifies defendant WI as 
the young man "een de block shotes" 
and defendant King as the young man 
“cen de block-and-white shotes,” and 
5 they are two of the three men who 
attacked him. There is much more ap- 
proaching of the bench by the attorneys 
to clarify what he is saying—“shotes 
are seemingly either shoes or small fur- 
bearing Yugoslavian rodents found in 
courtrooms, 

But the main thing that happens as 
Divinic continues to speak is that he 
proceeds to lose the al affection all 
of us jurors had [or hin. Far from being 
the handsome young foreigner, victim. 
ized by outlaws іп a tough city, he begins 
to emerge as an arrogant, stupid, surly, 
bigoted man who even allows Fator to 
get him to agree for the record that all 
blacks look alike—a statement that 
causes O'Halloran to wince and many 
of the jurors to exhale audibly. 

All the witnesses are examined and 
cross-examined by counsel just like on 
ТУ. And, just like on TV, all the attor- 
neys try to damaging and illegal 


questions past the judge to the jury in 
the way that all us Perry Mason [ans 
know and love. First attorney 10 wit- 
ness: 


When did you stop beating your 
Opposing attorney: “Objection!” 
Judge: “Sustained!” First attorney: “I 
haye no further questions, your Honor.” 

The bulk of the D.A.'s case is designed 
to show how good the lighting and other 
viewing conditions were for Divinic to 
see and subsequently identify his attack- 
ers, and the bulk of the defense's case is 
designed 10 show how poor were the 
lighting and other viewing conditions 
and how unable Divinic is to tell blacks 
apart. 

One of the defense’s best pieces of 
evidence is introduced: A transcript of 
Divinis grandjury testimony is read 
wherein he describes the person who 
shot him as "a tall, bushy man," when 

(continued on page 172) 


“You weren't the first, Noel—but if it's any consolation, 
ou were the best!” 


Left: Honging on the bothraom 
door is o fringed silk scarf, by 
Chinowear, about $60. Next to 
it is something to keep you worm 
оп a long winter's night: A silk 
weave houndstooth tweed belted 
robe, by Eric Jacobson for Stote- 
O-Maine, $150. On the bethraom 
floor: A cotton velour varsity cor- 
digan, about $40, ta be worn 
with the matching pull-on ponts 
hanging on the doorknob, about 
$33.50, both by Ron Chereskin. 


FROM 
HER, 
WITH 
STYLE 


in which it is 
decidedly better 
to recetve 

than to give 


attire 
By DAVID PLATT 


Right: A sheepskin sheorling zip- 
front haoded pancho, by Paley 
Associates, $450. No, the bra 
hanging from the doorknob isn't 
far sale, but the саЫе-Кпіғ 
crew-neck sweater, fram Country 
Roods by Robert Stock, is—it's 
$45. Next to the sweoter is an 
antiqued-lecther box-style shoul 
der bag (with optional handle), 
fram Peter Barton's Closet, about 
$425. On the rug up front 
is a wool hand-knit turtleneck, 
fram Monos del Uruguay, $75. 


your life suggesting a little something that you wouldn't mind receiving 

for Chrisunas (other than the obvious, of course). Just leave PLAYBOY 
open to the item you dig and hope for the best. It may not be the most subtle 
way to ensure that your yuletide will be a happy one (hers definitely will be, if 
you follow our gift suggestions in Fair Share for the Fair Sex, also in this issue), 
but at least you know you won't have a hideous tic depicting Niagara Falls in 
Day-Glo colors or cuff links made of coprolite laid on you. And if Santa still 
doesn’t bring you the present perfect, you can always buy it for yourself. 


T HESE PAGES are for those of you who'd like to drop a hint to the lady in 


9m 


TT 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY JIM LEE/PROOUCED BY HOLLIS WAYNE/ALL LINGERIE FROM CRISCIONE JORA FEDER. 


Left: It looks like there's been o 
different sort of cot prowling 
around this boudoir from the г 
laxed feline you see purring on 
the counterpane. Lying next to 
milody’s peignoir (and we can't 
think of a nicer place to stretch 
cu) is a single-breasted goot- 
suede ventless jocket with patch 
pockets, by Beged-Or, $385, that 
looks greot when worn with c 
silk shirt. Near it ore а poir of 
bulky wool/polyester over-the- 
colf socks with multicolor striped 
trim, by Ivy Brond for Hot Sox. 
ebout $7. It's a cinch that you'll 
dig the next item—a cowhide 
double-wrop belt with multiple 
brass link buckles, by Giovonnelli, 
about $40. And if you like to 
hove your own warm-up ot с 
footboll game, here's o stitched- 
cowhide-covered gloss flask, from 
Dopp by Buxton, obout $13.50. 


Right: If yov're dreoming of a 
white Christmas just like the ones 
you used to know, you might be- 
gin dropping hints that thot cer- 
toin someone in your life surprise 
you with the light-colored wo- 
ven silk/nubby-wool herringbone 
sweater jacket with showl collor, 
three-button front, flop-potch 
breost pockets ond banded cuffs, 
by Bill Koiserman for Rafael, 
$245, thot’s honging in the ar- 
moire. Next to it is another good- 
looking jocket in a color that's 
appropriate for yuletide; this one 
is o charkha silk buttonless ond 
ventless unconstructed model with 
notched lopels, patch pockets and 
pojame-cuff sleeves thot con be 
pushed or rolled up, depending 
on your whim, from T. T. Gurtner 
for Santosh India, $75. It’s great 
for lounging, disco dancing or 
even an ovant black-tie look. 


TOUGH MUTHUHS „асо 


“1 can't help feeling throughout the judge's oration 
that the whole thing is academic.” 


neither of the defendants has an Afro 
or had one at the time of the crime. 

A middle-aged black detective named 
Muller is called to testify. Muller ques- 
ned Ring and White shortly after the 
crime and they gave him conflicting 
alibis: Each said he was with the other 
at the time of the crime, but one є 
they were at King’s apartment on 1160 
Street and the other said thev were at a 
party on 153rd Street. Unfortunatel 
Muller didn't make a note of this dis- 
crepancy in his notebook at the time, 
and so the conflicting alibis are not ad- 
misible as evidence, though it seems 
certain Muller is telling the truth. Used 
to savvy TV crooks with well-thoughi- 
out alibis, I'm amazed at the failure of 
King and White to agree on an alibi 
before being questioned. 

We have been told it is unlikely that 
King and White will take the stand 
their own defense and that this is not to 
be taken as evidence of their guilt, 
Then, on the fourth day of the trial, 
Fator and Klein decide to call their 
clients to testify, after all. We jurors 
eagerly anticipate their testimony. 

King is called first. By now, we are 
thoroughly fed up with Divinic’s arro- 
gance and surliness and racism, and 
many of us are ready to believe that 
the two unfortunate young kids, King 
and White, are simply victims of a man 
to whom all blacks look alike. I, for one, 
am ready to acquit them, 

But King and White have apparently 
learned their witness-stand strategy from 
Divinic—they manage to lose all jurors’ 
compassion within two minutes of tak- 
ing the stand. They both adopt cock 
sneering and contemptuous attitudes 
toward the court, The credibility of 
their testimony is not further enhanced 
when both of them give as their alibi 
neither that they were at King’s араг 
ment on 116th Street nor that they were 
at the party оп 153rd Street but that they 
were at a party on 129th Street. 

Detective Muller is recalled and asked. 
to go over his testimony about the first 
two alibis. Fator pulls out a variation 
on the oldest trick in the book—he pre- 
tends to th Muller said not 153rd 
Street but 150th Street, tries to cause 
him to agree to a statement containing 
the wrong address and then tap him 
in it. Happily, the trick doesn't work. 

By the end of the fourth day, most of 
the jı ding me, appear to think 
that King and White are, indeed, the 


172 culprits, and I can't sce how it's going 


10 take us very long to come up with a 
verdict of guilty. Up to this point in 
the trial, we have been free to go home 
every night and sleep in our own beds. 
But а friendly guard advises us that 
weld] be "charged" by the judge by 
lunchtime on Friday, the fifth day, and 
that we should bring a toothbrush and 
toilet articles and plan on staying over 
Friday night. 

The fifth day begins with Fator's low- 
key summation for the defense, which 
lasts about half an hour. He is followed 
by Klein, who docs a very theat 
summation, which also lasts about half 

n hour. Then O'Halloran takes over 
and does his summation. It is as low key 
us Fators was and it, too, єз about 
half an hour. 

Now it is the judge's turn to charge 
us. What this mcans is not that hc is 
billing us for his services but that һе 
is explaining in great, very great, appall- 
ingly great detail the meaning of each 
of the crimes with which the defendants 
are charged. The definitions of attempt- 
ed homicide, attempted robbery, grand 

arceny, and so forth, are laboriously 
spelled out, as are the definitions of sec- 
ond degree, first degree, and so on. 
Judge Blumenthal repeatedly instructs 
us that we are to make our decision sole- 
Jy on the basis of the evidence that has 
been legally admitted into the record. 
and not on anything che, and to vote 
for a verdict of guilty only if therc is no 
reasonable doubt in our minds of the 
defendants guilt, Reasonable doubt is 
defined with some precision and in great 
detail. and 1 can't help (еей 
out the judge's hour-and-ten-ninute ora- 
tion that the whole thing is academic- 
that, since Divinic is the only witness, 
there never could be anything but a 
reasonable doubt about White's and 
Kings guilt, just as 1 and probably 
every other member of the jury is con- 
vinced that White and King were the 
ones who attacked Divinic, that they're 
going to be found guilty and that 
they're going to still be back out on thc 
streets again very shortly, anyway. 

"The judge finishes charging us at two 
тм. The guard leads us into the jury 
room and locks us inside it. The room 
is a small one, just big enough for a 
long table. 12 chairs and а coatratk. 
Adjoining the jury room are two tiny 
lavatories, Until we have arrived at a 
unanimous verdict, this room will be 
our home. 

The first thi 


ng we jurors do is to 


unanimously deci 
‘The second order of business is to give 
the guard our lunch orders—none of 
which is to exceed $2.50, excluding gra 
tuities. The third order of business is 
to take our first vote. Seated around the 
table are the follor 

- Edith, our forelady 
secretary. 

2. Phillip, 
tics at NYU. 

3. Steven, a handsome young architect 
with a folksy, easygoing manner. 

1. Shirley, а high school biology tecach- 
er who is humorous in a tough. New 
York Jewish manner. 

5. Allen, a well-dressed youngish pub- 
lisher of professional magazines for doc- 
tors, lawyers and engine 

6. June, a retired film editor. 

7. Roland, an attractive young graph- 
ics designer wearing tight suede slacks, 
«dine, an ancsthetist's wife. 

9. Christina, a foreign-born, once-beau- 
middle-aged woman who has bee: 
social secretary to several prominent 
milies, and who is still amusingly vain 
and flirtatious in the style of the Gabors. 

10. Ellen, a softspoken black clerical 
worker at Macy's. 

1. Tina, a large, tough, 
corrections officer. 

12. Me. 

(All the names in tl 
nged to protect the innocent, 
lty and this correspondent. 

The first vote is taken. In a written 
secret. ballot, we learn that seven of us 
are for conviction and five of us are for 
acquittal, I am one of the seven for con- 
ction and 1 am amazed—t had thoi 
everybody felt the same way 1 did. 

The guard unlocks the door and comes 
in with our lunch in several brown-papcr 
bags. He takes away all our books and 
periodicals. 1 feel like we are all about 
12 years old. There are a few snide com- 
ments about the confiscation of reading 
matter and a few more about the quality 
of the food as we eat our lunch. Imme- 
diately following lunch, we take another 
so by secret ballot. 
ting lunch has, for some reason, 
changed one of our minds. The vote is 
now even— for conviction, six for 
acquittal. 

It could clearly go either way now. 


retired legal 


professor of psycholingui: 


ant, bla 


ticle have been 
ch the 


gu 


could be back out on the 
streets tonight, robbing and shoot 
other Yugoslavian cabd 
„ who seems to feel th 
n impassioned little sp 
tion. Phillip replies w 
1 passion, pointing out that the 
his opinion been 


ic picked King and White. 
Polaroids of which were shown to us 
(continued on page 346) 


HOW TO SURVIVE AN AIR CRASH 


| 
| 
| Para su seguridad 
| Pour vôtre sécurité 
| БКО ОЕР 


heres what the little 
card and the flight 
attendant should 
let you know before 
take-off. it could 
save your life 


article 


By F. LEE BAILEY 


LYING is my mistress. I 

love it; I have since I 

was 20 and first strapped 
myself into the cockpit of a 
Marine Corps jet fighter. 
Even today, my most satisfy- 
ing moments come mot in 
the courtroom but when I 
am lifting off the runway at 
the controls of my own 
plane. Put as simply as I 
know how, flying to me is 
pure joy. 

But if you are not im- 
presed with F. Lee Bailey's 
romantic notions about fly- 
ing, let me flash my eco- 
nomic credentials. I own а 
firm that manufactures heli- 
copters, I have owned and 
operated a small airport and 
each year I fly more than 
100,000 miles in the seats of 
commercial airliners. Given 
all this, I think I qualify asa 
"loving cri when I men- 
tion the unmentionable in 
the airline industry: a crash. 

The crash I am talking 
about is what salety experts 
label the survivable crash. In 
those cases, the passenger- 
cabin area remains relative- 
ly intact after impact and 
the so-called decelerative 
forces experienced by the 
passengers are within hm- 
man gforce tolerances. The 
chances of a crash's being 
survivable are fairly good. 
For example, most take-off 
and landing accidents—and 
they make up more than half 


the fatal accidents—have 173 


PLAYBOY 


been termed survivable. This type of 
crash usually occurs at speeds of around 
120, 140 and 160 knots, and the airliner 
most often hits the ground in a flat, or 
Nose-up, attitude. Unless the plane col- 
lides with some obstacle on the ground 
that will split open the cabin, or a fuel 
tank, the passengers should be able to 
survive and evacuate the plane. 

It is difficult to pinpoint accurately just 
how many persons have died needlessly 
in these survivable accidents. But some 
statistics give a fairly good indication of 
the size of the problem. Between 1967 
and 1976, U. S. airlines were involved in 
520 accidents that claimed 2098 lives, 
1853 of them passengers. Up to 70 per- 
cent of those were accidents termed sur- 
vivable by airsafety experts. Despite 
that, those accidents claimed 505 lives. Of 
that total, approximately 30 percent 
should have lived. The crash of a South- 
ern Airways DC-9 jetliner at New Hope, 
Georgia, on April 4, 1977, is a good 
example of a survivable crash. With 
both engines out, the jetliner snaked 
down from 14,000 feet and with mag- 
nificent flying skill, the pilot attempted 
an emergency landing on a county high 
way. His luck ran out when the DC-0's 
wing clipped trees on the side of the 
highway. The plane then veered into а 
line of cars and smashed into some gas- 
oline pumps. Sixty-three persons aboard 
the plane died, but that still was a sur- 
vivable accident, and 22 other persons 
did just that: survived. They were in- 
jured, yes, but they managed to get out 
of that blazing wreckage alive. 
others also lived through the i 
pact, but their bodies were found by 
rescue workers. The coroner's verdict 
death from burns and smoke inhala 
a key point— 
sies showed no signi j 

If they weren't injured, why didn't 
they get away from the plane in time to 
save their lives? The possible reasons are 
numerous. Negative panic is one. In those 
cases, the shock of the accident leaves the 
passenger in a state of near paralysis and 
he or she simply makes no move to flee. 
Others may be trapped by the wreckage 
or are too hystcrical to help themselves. 
To some, toxic smoke brings quick death. 
But there are others who simply do not 
know what to do, Too many airline pas- 
sengers fall into that category, I think. 
Part of the blame has to be placed on 
the passengers themselves. We've all seen 
the “cool dude traveler.” He is the one 
who is too sophisticated to be bothered 
to listen to the flight attendants’ safety 
briefing. Usually, you can spot him 
easily, since he normally wears a pain- 
fully bored expression or deliberately 
looks out the window during the brief- 
ing. Others bury themselves in papers. 

Psychologists tend to attribute some of 


174 this exaggerated nonchalance to what 


they term a feeling of powerlessness on 
the part of the passenger. The theory cen- 
ters on flight attendants who deliver the 
emergency briefing in a casual manner, 
tending to downplay its value. The pas- 
senger then gets the feeling that he has 
no control over his environment and 
therefore ignores the briefing. If, as I 
have, you talk to fellow passengers who 
quality as cool dudes, you'll find that 
the usual answers to why they do not pay 
attention to the briefing range from 
“Why should I listen, the plane isn't 
going to crash?" all the way to “If the 
plane crashes, ГЇЇ be killed anyway.” 
Then there is the eternal optimist who 
tells you the pilot and the crew will take 
care of everything if the plane crashes. 
But what are the facts? Simply put, 
neither the cockpit crew nor the flight. 
attendants can be counted om to save 
your life. Obviously, they do the best they 
can. Often their efforts are both success- 
ful and heroic. The record shows that 
in the face of the most terrifying emer- 
gencics, they will endanger their lives for 
the sake of the passengers, Most recently, 
this commitment to the passenger was 
dramatically demonstrated in both the 
Southern Airways accident and the on- 
ground collision of the Pan American 
and KLM jumbo jets in the Canary Is- 
lands. But relying on crew members is 
not always practical. After a crash, the 
flight attendants and the flight crew may 
be dead, trapped in the wreckage or even 
may have succumbed to that all-too- 
human failing: panic. If the survivability 
record is to be improved, the airlines are 
going to have to stress—and the passen- 
ger must accept—the idea that passengers 
must be responsible for saving their own 
lives. To put it in a phrase, if you want 
to survive, take the initiative. That in no 
way detracts from the importance of the 
flight attendants and their role in evacu- 
ation. What I am talking about is self- 
motivation. Get it set in your mind that 
it is you, the passenger, who may be seat- 
ed next to the emergency exit that must 
be opened if you are to escape. It is you, 
the passenger, who may have to find his 
way into the tail-cone exit and trigger an 
escape slide. Or even more basic, but still 
a major problem, it is you, the passenger, 
who has to get out of that seat after the 
crash impact or face the very real possi- 
bility of death from burns or smoke 
inhalation. 

Гуе already mentioned the bored pas- 
senger who ignores the pretake-off bricf- 
ing. Yet some safety experts contend that 
he misses very little. since the only real 
information contained in the flight at- 
tendants’ spiel is the use of oxygen 
masks and the location of the exits. 
That's not trivial, obviously. But in 
some cases, it may not be enough to 
Bet you out of a burning airplane. More 
instruction is needed, For example, why 


can't passengers be given a simulated 
demonstration on how to open an exit 
door or operate an escape slide? Or be 
briefed on how to escape through a tai 

cone exit? Take the case of a Texas Inter- 
national Airlines DC9 that crashed on 
take-off in 1976 from Stapleton Interna- 
tional Airport in Denver. All 86 passen- 
gers aboard managed to evacuate the 
burning plane. But there were hairy 
moments. 

One of those came when a flight at- 
tendant and several passengers tried to 
get out of the plane via the tail-cone exit. 
At best, the tail cone is not an easy exit. 
First, you have to open the door to get 
into the tail cone. Inside is a short cat- 
walk that is not exactly designed for 
elderly or clumsy passengers. To the side 
of the catwalk is a handle that must be 
pulled. Once it is, the tail cone falls away 
and an evacuation slide deploys, But in 
this case, the flight attendant couldn’t 
find the tail-cone-release handle because 
the area was so poorly lighted. The inves- 
tigation also showed that one of the 
flight attendants had never been in the 
tail-cone area before. Another one had 
been there only once in 15 years. A pas- 
senger finally found the release handle 
in the semidarkness. But if the same 
passenger earlier had been overtaken by 
a great urge to learn about the tail-cone 
exit, he would have had a problem. 
None of the seat-back safety cards on the 
plane contained any instructions on op- 
erating the tail-cone exit. Such informa- 
tion is a passenger's key to survival. If 
he reads it, not once but every time he 
flies, it appears to remain in his mind 
and he is ready to act on it, if an emer- 
gency arises. 

Doubtful of this kind of theorizing? 
Well, then, digest this: Questionnaires 
were filled out by 114 persons who had 
evacuated a Trans World Airlines 747 
jumbo jetliner. The replics showed that 
of the 72 passengers who had not read 
the seat-back card prior to the evacua- 
tion, 40 were injured in the evacuation. 
But of the 42 persons who had read the 
card before the evacuation, only seven 
suffered injuries during the evacuation. A 
limited sample, true. But the fact that 
the percentage of passengers injured in 
the evacuation was three times great- 
er for those who hadn't read the card 
than for those who had read it is im- 
pressive, And it leaves the strong impres- 
sion that knowledge can mean survival. 
But simply reading the seat-back card 
and listening to the flight attendant 
aren't going to guarantee your safety. In 
fact, part of the problem is the emergen- 
cy briefings themselves. They are not as 
good as they could be. 

Example: Have you, as an airline pas- 
senger, ever been told not to сапу per- 
sonal belongings with you in the event of 

(continued on page 372) 


NGS @ ALBERTO VARGAS 1973 


Top: The subjects of these two woter-color and 
airbrush paintings, done by Verges in the early 
Twenties, were undoubtedly Ziegfeld chorus 
girls whom Vargas convinced to pose in the buff 
ofter he'd completed their portraits for the New 
Amsterdam Theater. Above: This art-deco fash- 
ion illustration circa 1932 was pointed by Var- 
gas in order ta show art directors his versatility. 


LADIES THEY 
TALK ABOUT 


тч 


Above: Following the Ziegfeld Follies’ 
closing, Vargas turned his talent to illus- 
trating movie posters such as this 1933 
Barbara Stanwyck release, Ladies They 
Talk About, from Warner Bros. Right: 
Titled Diono, this TI pointing ap- 
peared in Esquire—ofter Vargas reluc- 
tantly agreed to airbrush an o dress. 


you say these jeans 
are two sizes too small? 
we'll take em! 


been wearing jeans that are so 

tight that they appear to be a 
seamed, blue condensation on the skin. 
All of this is perfectly fine with us, of 
course, but it does make one wonder how 
in the world women get into them. We 
thought we'd do some field research on 
how it's done. On a random tour of two 
chic New York jeaneries, Fiorucci and 
The French Jean Store, we looked on as 


Ё OR SOME TIME now, women have 


| 


I 


- 4 
A. 
Tes 


two women wiggled their way into the 
lean look. As one jeans fitter put it, 
"Your eyes should bulge when you first 
put these on.” In addition to bulging 
eyeballs, the women experienced puck- 
ered crotches, the rearranging of lower- 
torso internal organs and shortness of 
breath. There are a couple of methods of 
squeezing one’s buns into denim bond- 
age. At Fiorucci (bottom), our girl goes it 
alone; huffing, puffing and stufing, until, 
Mama mia, а compromise between flesh 
and fabric is reached. Checks and bal- 
ances, so to speak, However, at The 
French Jean Store (top), the salesmen 
are eager to supervise the progress. Once 
the girl is able to pull the jeans uve: her 
hips by violently jumping up and down, 
help arrives to squeeze from the side of 
the zipper. In special cases, the help lays 
the girl out flat on her back on a table 
and, using a pair of pliers, yanks the 
zipper into place, often shearing away 
pubic hair in the process. As a final 
touch, the backside of the jeans is 
sprayed with water to loosen the fabric 
and the girl is told to do deep knee 
bends. Why do women undergo this tor- 
ture? One girl we interviewed told us 
while trying a pair of jeans two sizes too 
small for her, “Over the past month, I've 
dropped ten pounds and my old boy- 
friend. I'm trolling for new prospects.” 
She must be, because we're hooked. 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS CALLIS 


PLAYBOY 


MA AMI (continued from puge 8) 


“The tropical climate, according to legend, has an 
initial aphrodisiac effect on most people.” 


gateway for drugs and, in pre-Castro days, 
prostitution); it has now become a finan- 
cial gateway as well, with more Latin- 
American money transactions taking 
place in Miami today than ever before. 
Women, too, find employment in the 
trading institutions. The airlines indus- 
try brings thousands of others. Both 
Eastern and National Airlines arc 
headquartered in Miami; there are an 
estimated 10,000 female flight attendants 
and ticket agents based in Miami, many 
of them living in the apartment com- 
plexes and frequenting the singles bars 
in the sprawling area around the airport. 
The University of Miami constitutes 
a special branch of the singles scene. 
Unlike at most universities, its sex life 
is not solely campus-centercd; students 
Eo out to the discos and clubs and 
beaches used by the rest of Mia Yet 
r all that, most students seem to date 
other students, the fraterni 
something going on almost every weck- 
end and the mixed-dorm arrangement 


have 


akes for a relaxed availability of sex 
ual options for those who are looking. 
Two extremes of singles social life 
are framed by the differences between 
the southern and the northern fringes of 
the town. Coconut Grove is the southern- 
most part of Miami, situated directly 
across from Key Biscayne, Nixon’s old 
hangout. Here the life is jeans and hal- 
ters, pizza and beer, no ties and no bi 
A very young set frequents the bookshops 
and flea market and sells clothes in the 
trendy stores serving old ladies in heavy 
cars who come to the Grove to shop. 
Grovers are the laid-back side of Mi- 
ami singles life. A lot of skin is showing. 
In the late afternoon, young people in 
various states of undress from all over 
Miami flock to Kennedy Park in the 
Grove for jogging, touch football and 
some fairly classy Frisbee. Kids who just 
met at Lum's or the Pizzaria near the 
intersection of Bayshore and Grand Ave- 
nue—the heart of the Grove—regularly 
pick up and go to someone's apartment 
Tor a little toot and some Warren Zevon. 
At the other end of Miami proper, 
between 110th and 160th streets, one 
finds the city’s three most exclusive club- 
condo-hotel complexes: the Jockey, the 
Palm Bay and the Cricket Club. When 
PLAYnoy in its telephone survey asked 
people where they would send newcom- 


186 ers to catch the action, 39 percent speci- 


fied private clubs and discos, Perhaps it 
was based on experience. One out of four 
people who went to such places got lucky 
and established a sexual relationship. 
The Cricket is the newest and hottest; it 
reeks of money the minute you get past 
the elaborate guardhouse and ride down 
the palmdined cobblestone driveway to 
a huge porte-cochere where valets wait 
for cars. Inside, the walls are papered in 
silver foil and herringbone patterns. By 
day, one finds idly rich teenagers whiling 
away the afternoon under the deft hands 
of the facial-massage artists in the beauty 
salon of the health club, a subterranean 
catacomb that includes two saunas, two 
whirlpools, a Nautilus gym, a Universal 
gym, a swimming pool and even a “eu- 
calyptus inhalation room.” 

By night (on Wednesday, Friday and 
Saturday nights), the Cricket opens Le 
Dome discothéque to anyone with a 
membership card (it costs from $208 to 
$416 to join) or a connection. One sees 
19-year-old 5 with the latest from New 
York draped over their svelte, unblem- 
ished bodies climbing out of all manner 
of expensive transportation. The parking 
lot is a semipermanent auto show. There 
is always at least one Rolls-Royce, not to 
mention the odd Lotus Esprit, a Ferrari 
or two, numerous Mercedes, Caddies and 
Lincolns. The disco is an underground 
hexagon with a stainless-steel dance floor 
rimmed by comfy velvet-covered modular 
furniture that can be pushed around to 
form conversation pits. There is a 
fashion-show atmosphere of mercenary 
snootiness overlaid with youthful nerv- 
ousness at Le Dome. 

Between the two extremes of the 
Cricket and the Grove, there is a singles 
life at several other levels. For those 
accustomed to the outright meat-market 
approach to getting laid, there are such 
Californiastyle singles hangouts as Mr. 
Beneby in Coral Gables, with a large 
bar pouring drinks full blast on all sides. 
The atmosphere is unweathered wood 
and coral rock and get drunk fast. It is 
loud. For an even rougher singles at- 
mosphere with a clientele mix that in- 
cludes the stews and the ground crews, 
there is The Brasserie near the airport 
and Flanigan's in the Springs, part of a 
very successful loungecumiquorstore 
chain called "There are 50 
ni—they are 
the McDonald's of singles life. 


The Fort Lauderdale singles scene also 
falls into this category. While some of 
the bars offer live music, most of them. 
are simply heavily decorated noise-and- 
booze hangouts. Yesterday's, on the 
intracoastal waterway, fills an entire free- 
standing building and even has its own 
wharf for guests arriving by yacht. Chris- 
topher's just up the street is a scaled- 
down version of the same thing. Some of 
the more popular hangouts are Pete & 
Lenny's, Mr. Pip's and a slightly sudsier 
beachfront watering hole called "The 
Button that draws beach people and 
what passes for surfers on the Arlantic. 

Despite the salubrious climate and 
sounds of the ocean roaring in your ears, 
the Miami-Fort Lauderdale scene tends 
to be glitzy. Sloppy jeans and flip-flops 
are even officially banned at most Big 
Daddy's, which are hardly bastions of 
high taste. Yet appearances count for a 
lot. "This place is very disco, very glit- 
tery,” says one Fort Lauderdale single 
woman. “Whoever has the best clothes 
is the star.” 

The operative thing about all these 
folks is that, like Southerners, they are 
very social. The tropical climate, accord- 
ing to legend, has an initial aphrodisiac 
effect on most people, anyway, stripping 
away inhibitions and clothes in equal 
parts, the relaxed chatand-play atmos- 
phere of the region seems to do the rest. 
“The girls mature a lot faster down 
here,” comments John Riley, 23, a trans- 
planted New Jersey native who works in 
Davy Joness Locker, a jeans shop in 
Hollywood halfway between Miami and 
Fort Lauderdale. “I'm talking about their 
heads and their bodies. 1 could never go 
back North.” 

“In Chicago, it would take you two 
or three meetings at the same place to 
make it with a chick,” says Vince Ball, 
2З, a photographer who moved to Miami 
18 months ago. “Here it’s опе,” 

“People are much freer with their 
bodies here,” says one woman. "Being 
outside is a very relaxing thing. It affects 
how people look; they want to look 
good.” She said the fact that people 
around in bathing suits gives a certain 
physicalness to Miami, Wearing a bath- 
t on the beach is a certain sexual 
You talk about your bodies more. 
And after that you touch." 

Of course, the Cuban influence casts 
its spell on the Miami singles scene. 
Dade County is about one third Latin. 
The city of Miami is over half Latin 
and Hialeah, a large Miami suburb, is 
about 60 percent Latin. The Cuban 
girls are very stunning and very Catholic. 
They are saving it for marriage. The 
cultures do mix—at the discos and the 

(continued on page 276) 


“Му, how times have changed." 


2 f ا‎ 


JANE WILSON | 


VICE PRESI 


playmate janet quist loves to wander, but she 
can find a home deep in our heart any time 


TEXAS DQGIFTE 


PHOTOGRAFHY BY KEN MARCUS 


"Ideally, I like to make love close to 
the water. Either on a sailboat 

or on a yacht. There's something about 
the water that turns me on." Below, 
left and right, Janet takes a turn 

at the wheel and shows championship 
form in tow on Lake Travis, Texas, 


Michael Murphey both play 
around here. It really is like a 
little Nashville." 

Austin, Texas, is the town 
Janet Quist is talking about: 
where she was born and the 
place she calls home. For the 
present, at least. The flavor of 
the country is in her voice. 
There is no doubt she is a 
Texan. 

Of course, she rides; “Mom 
has about five horses and Dad's 
into roping.” In Austin, going 
to the rodeo is as natural as 
going to the movies and she 
takes part in . . . bulldogging? 
"Hey, do I look like a bulldog- 
ger? Barrel racing, maybe.” А 
cursory inspection will reveal 
that Janet looks like anything 
but а bulldogger. She is a 
model and an actress. You 
may have эссп her in the 
movies Semi-Tough, Rolling 
Thunder, A Small Town in 
Texas or Outlaw Blues on tele- 
vision. You may also have seen 
her as one of the model: 


"I'm trying to keep 
my relationships 
casual vight now. 

I won't be thinking 
about marriage [от 
another five. 

years or so." 


years Playmate Photo 
Contest. Fact is, if you 
stand. in one place long 
enough, Janet 
by sooner or later. 
loves to travel: Mexico, 
lifornia. Any 
place warm, and any- 
place near water. 
Growing up on Lake 
"Travis, 20 miles outside 
Austin, Janet developed 
a close relationship with 
the water, boats and just 
about any water sport 
you can name: skiing, 
ski sailing and, lately, 
body surfing. “I tricd 
that in Hawaii a while 
ago. You can almost re- 
duce that way. Just 
lie on the curl of the 
wave and it works your 
body over. Feels great 
оп your stomach." Why, 
you ask, does this girl 
need to reduce? "I like 
to eat. I just spent two 
weeks in Dallas eat- 
ing lasagna. And at 
home we have about 
three acres of really fer- 
tile land where I garden. 
Com, squash, green 
beans, black-eyed peas 
and okra. I love to 
watch things gro 

Janets been doing 
some growing herself 
lately. She more or less 
fell into modeling and 
acting. Now the need 
for commitment is be- 
coming apparent ^ 
change all the time. 
Most of my friends scem 
headed for careers or 
are already involved in 
one. I'm getting a little 
tired of not knowing 
what I'm going to be 
doing. 1 hope I settle 
down soon. 

California, she thinks, 
might be a good move. 
Of course, she'd have to 
give up Willie and the 
rodeo and the garden. 
But it is warm and the 
water is great. 


“Most of my boyfriends 
have been very possessive. 
So I've been looking for 

someone who can live his 
own life. Someone who is 
as independent as 1 am.” 


“The first thing I look for in a man is honesty. I need someone 
sho is straightforward and cares about me. I’m really not very 


fond of casual sex; I think it's a lot better when you're in lov 


“I don't like con- 
fusion—and I’m a very 
impatient person. 

1 don't like to 

vait for anything. 

It drives me nuts.” 


Li эш... cmt Шы. „Юм‏ .مت نے 


It's a bird! Isa plane! It's our long, lean Texan, 
riding very tall out of the saddle over Lake 
Travis with hang glider and water shis. 


At the Almost-Annual Luckenbach (Texas) 
World's Fair Male Bikini Contest (above), 
Janet serves as a judge. Frankly, guys, she's in 
better shape. Below, а full moon in broad 
daylight over rural Texas. 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


NAME: Janet Qu (5+ 

BUST: Ae WAIST: 21 HIPS: 3p 
mri Zame: Ll sim: ALO 
вїктн атк: 2:17:55 simac: Astin 14x do 

con: To own A Amat namch , he coms A 

Du ectaetut modu! а 

TURN-ONS : Ths luach, Mn chime, 2 od mua) 
TURN- OFTS 4 ee at 


_wWho Like mer thera Looks, push yola 
FAVORITE FOODS: І (лё 


FAVORITE ACTORS: 2 t Keunetdo Bren Os Gl y Тол 
FAVORITE sss Žage Duma „Mari. 
ET Bot Dakan, 


B 2 
C Loa ОСО. Баса AL 2] 


FAVORITE PERFORMERS: 


FAVORITE MOVIES: 
Chinatoor’, so DD 


IDEAL EVENING: 


wat St 


fe UA ТА, ле 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


Marriage to the pro-football star had proved 
disappointing to the sexy мапе, since he 
seemed to be more interested in the МЕЛ. 
divisional race than in her. As he sat moroselv 
guzzling beer one Sunday night. she suddenly 
broke the silence. “Darling,” she said. stubbing 
out her cigarette, "I'm sorry, but there's some 
thing I want to talk to vou abou 
"Huh?" prunted the jock. "Nah—I don't 
feel like talking right now. honey. I'm too 
depressed about this afternoon's game—the 
one you didn't even bother to come out to see." 
"Thats what I want to talk about," con- 
tinued the smiling grimlv. "While vou 
were blowing a big one today . .. so was I!" 


Every night,” the grand vizier whispered to a 
visitor, “seven different females from his huge 
harem share the sultan's emperor- bed, 
along with a eunuch.” 

“But what's he doing in there with those 
women?" the visitor inquired. 

“We have a very methodical ruler," ex 
plained the G.V. “The eunuch acts as the 
sultan's bookmark.” 


А wiser young lady named Dawes 
Looks forward to Christmas because 
She was taught last December 
By а store Santa's member 
That a pussy is meant to have Claus. 


Î went to a grease orgy back home during the 
Thanksgiving recess,” a swinging coed confided 
to her roommate. “but some of the guys turned 
out to he butterball turkeys.” 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines decoy 
streetwalker as a flatfoot floozy. 


While drying herself after a shower in front 
of a full-length mirror, the brunctte noticed 
а gray hair in her pubic patch. “I knew 
you hadn't been getting much lately," she 
addressed her womanhood, ut 1 didn't know 
you were worrying about it” 


Conceivably. you've heard about the imagina- 
tive California nun who claimed that her preg- 
папсу was San Andreas’ fault. 


Deliberately dawdling over the breakfast bill 
of fare. the smart aleck banicred, “I never 
return to a restaurant unless at least one of 
the sausages I'm served is a match in size for 
my own 

“In that case, sin" rejoined the fed-up 
waitress, "perhaps you'd like to order from 
the children’s menu. 


Caught in a clandestine meeting with the Syn- 
dicate head's girl with a box of condoms in his 
pocket. the offending gangster was dumped 
into the harbor weighted down with rubber 
cement 


Though a finicky cocksman named Pete 
Would refuse invitations to cat, 

A date he was blasting 

Kept lasting and lasting. . 
In the end, he went down in defeat. 


Herr-re in Scotland, we play golf in all kinds 
of weatherrr," the club pro proudly told the 
pretty American tourist. “When it snows, we 
play with r-r-red balls.” 

“Its those silly kilts,” giggled the girl. 


Our Unabashed Diaionary defines male skin- 
ck lead as a shooting star. 


Having wound up their business meeting, the 
club members ordered drinks and got to swap- 
ping stories about shocking experiences they 
had undergone. "I remember going on а three- 
day bender once," related one man. "and 
waking up in a fleabag-hotel room with an 
erection in my hand. 

"But what's so shocking about that?’ 
lenged one of his listeners. 

“Well, it wasn't too long before it penetrated 
my throbbing skull that the organ with the 
hard-on didn't happen to be my own." 


chal- 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PtAYBoY, 
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, 
Tl. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


“Gee, all I said was, ‘You two should have a lot in соттоп?” 


iP, 
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memoir 


By MAX LERNER 


EROS 


AND 
POWER 


a lifetime of close-up president 
watching leads to some essential 
conclusions about the lure of 
the office and the lusts of the 


men who've occupied it 


IE AMERICAN PRESIDENCY tells a fe- 

| rocious story—of the ferocity with 

which each man has pursued and 

held on to power. It is a scarring story— 

of scars given and received by each Presi- 

dent. It is an erotic story, not alone in the 
case of the Presidents whose private sex- | 


1111711 
ual lives have been made public but 
even more in the basically erotic rela. 
tionship that somehow operates between 

ident and the people. 

gical story, because by its 
ture the Presidential function is that of | 
a shaman, and people never cease to 
hope that the President will cast a spell 
on the ion's enemies and deliver it 
from its agonized problems and dilemmas 
This is a chronicle of the six Pres 

dents in my life—Franklin Roosevelt. 
Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, 
John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson and 
Richard Nixon. It has little intimate or 
"inside" stuff in it and no great revela- 
tions. They were men I talked and ar- 


Т 


gued with апа wrote about and reflected 
on. As a columnist, I had to cope with 
their decisions, castigate them for their 


ILLUSTRATION BY ROGER HUYSSCN 


PLAYBOY 


sins of omission and commission, weep 
publicly over their failures and rejoice 
just as publicly at their successes. 

Each of these Presidents left scars on 
our history, just as his experience left 
scars on him. Each had a character amal- 
gam of ferocity and guile. And the 
element of the erotic and shamanistic 
pervaded the atmosphere around them, 
even in the case of Harry "Truman, 
whose character and values were square 
and who had little visible charisma. 
Whatever other sexual involvements they 
had, their true sexuality was with the 
Presidency. Their relation to Congress, 
to their staff, to the people themselves, 
was one of constant seductiveness. A 
President is at once seduced by the 
Presidency and is its seducer. He woos, 
and is wooed by, the admiration of the 
people. Whatever his enchantments with 
women, they are bound to be secondary, 
for every woman in a President's lile 
knows that if his hunger for her com- 
petes with his hunger for power, it is 
power that will 


. 

Franklin Roosevelt was probably the 
greatest President of the century, and 
certainly the greatest magus of them all, 
in the sheer wizardry of his combination 
of smiles and wiles with power—Mach: 
velli's lion and fox together. I got at him 
through two of his Brain Trust, Tom 
Corcoran and Ѕаш Rosenman, whom he 
affectionately dubbed Tommy the Cork 
and Sammy the Rose. 

Each of the four times he ran, I voted 
for him, at first with my fingers crossed, 
the three other times with mounting 
commitment. I came to believe in the 
Roosevelt karma and was touched by the 
fire of enchantment in him, as happens 
with all erotic seductions. I saw that 
Roosevelt had unimaginably come at 
the right time, to show Americans and 
the world that, whatever ailed capitalist 
democracy, the remedy and recovery 
would come from within. It was a hard 
lesson, but Americans learned it and I 
think it stayed learned. 

I got to know Eleanor Roosevelt be- 
fore I had any talk with her husband. 
We were both constantly in motion and 
were thrown together in that dervish 
dance of unending committee meetings 
and that welter of liberal causes and do- 
gooder letterheads that marked the New 
Deal faithful. (Years later, in the Mc- 
Carthy era, I came under deadly suspi- 
cion [rom the Wisconsin Senator because 
many ol those letterhead organizations 
were leftwing “fronts.") During the 
Spanish Civil War, we were both pas- 
sionately committed to the Loyalist 
cause, and we shared a sense of dismay 
at Roosevelt's power politics. At a pub- 
lic dinner, just before I gave a speech, 
I recall her whispering: "Don't pull 


204 your punches. We've got to light some 


fires under Franklii 
of woman she was. 

It taught me that a President had to 
be two persons—one to stir people by 
his fire, the other to stay within the 
reality principle. At times, Roosevelt 
played both roles; at others, he needed 
Eleanor to do the moving and prodding. 

I wrote my first book in 1938, Jt Is 
Later than You Think, with the sub- 
tide “The Need for a Militant Democ- 
racy.” My publisher sent the proofs to 
Tommy the Cork, who was both F.D.R.'s 
idea man and his hatchet man. Tommy 
marked them up for the President to 
read. He warmed my heart and vanity 
by reporting that the President had 
been impressed. I was very young, and 
for weeks I walked about, dazed by my 
self-image as one of the movers and 
shakers. The reality, of course, was that 
F.D.R.'s decisions came from a whole 
mosaic of pressures on him. But I do 
ink that the book confirmed him in 
his feeling that some of the younger 
men would support a greater urgency 
in both domestic and foreign policy. 

Part of the book's fallout was a long. 
afternoon talk I had with F.D.R. at 
Hyde Park. I recall driving up from New 
York in a battered car. But I felt no 
malaise about its appearance, because 
everything around Roosevelt—since he 
was an aristocrat, not an arriviste—had 
a simplicity that put you at your ease. 

Roosevelt called me his “philosopher.” 
Sitting at his usually cluttered desk, 
leaning back, his famous cigarette hold. 
er between his teeth, he looked as if he 
had all the time in the world for the 
young editor turned professor with un- 
ruly hair and rumpled clothes, who ва 
he didn't want to press him on the trivia 
of the day but wanted to talk about first 
and last things. We discussed the Nazi 
threat, the potential alliance with Eu- 
rope, the need for collective security, 
the nature of the Presidency, the crea- 
tive relation between a President and 
the people. Above all, we talked about 
power and public opinion in the strug- 
gle between a militant democracy and a 
militant totalitarianism. “They have the 
propaganda of the word,” he said, " 
we have the propaganda of the deed 

When a staff member came in to end 
the interview, F.D.R. said, “Go away. 
We're talking philosophy"—which won 
me forever, even though I knew it was 
another instance of his political seduc- 
tiveness. He was not an intellectual, nor 
did he have much depth. But he didn't 
go beyond his depth. There was an al- 
most perfect fit between his intuitive 
sense of action and power and his an- 
теппае for picking up ideas and phrases 
that—whatever their source—he made 
his own. 

Rarely has a President shown such 
skill of maneuver and of confidence— 


" That was the kind 


the fox and the lion—in so messy a mud- 
dle of events. It made me, along with 
many others, support Roosevelt in his 
unparalleled bid for a third and later 
a fourth term. And when Sammy the 
Rose, his speechwriter, asked me to do 
a draft for one of the President's cam- 
paign speeches, I did it cheerfully, 
though my impassioned sentences came 
out mangled and scarcely recognizable 
in the final version. 

Roosevelt proved a firstrate Com- 
mander in Chief. We all became mili- 
tary strategists in World War Two. But 
toward the end—exhausted, disease-rid- 
den, the sharp edge of his mind dulled— 
his military decisions had a political 
fallout that gave the Russians a postwar 
empire over half of Europe. Eventually, 
he caught on to the gravity of what he 

ad done, and he spent the tail end of 
his last term in a. postwar cffort to hem 
in Stalin, hoping too late to undo what 
he had done. 

But first he wanted to get the war with 
Japan over quickly. In a recent book, 
My Parents, James Roosevelt reports 
that his father planned to use a mysteri- 
ous new weapon (whose nature he 
couldn't reveal even to his son) against 
Japan. But with all his fierce energy and 
and optimism, death didn't spare 
him long enough either to remedy his 
miscalculations on the Russians or to 
аке the final decision on Japan. Thus, 
his death ushered in both the Cold War 
and the atomic age. 

Looking back at Roosevelt, and given 
his knowledge of his own physical con. 
dition, one of the things that troubled 
me was why he ran for a fourth term in 
1944. He was a battered, spent man. 
When he was struck by polio, he had 
forced himself to re-enter public life and 
became governor of New York. With 
the inspired help of Louis Howe, he 
fought his way to the Presidency, pick- 
ing the right year—1932—to make his 
bid. He presided over the tumultuous 
Thirties, winning a second term more 
decisively than the first. In 1940, with 
the war on in Europe, he convinced 
himself that only his leadership could 
achieve American unity in а "sick 
world—forged into unity by rings of 
fire.” But by 1944, thanks largely to 
Roosevelt's conduct of the alliance, the 
war's outcome was no longer in doubt. 

The point is that Roosevelt wanted to 
preside over the peace as he had presid- 
ed over the war. A President who has 
drunk a deep and long draught of pow- 
er doesn't give it up until death or the 
Constitution forces him to. 

When the killer stroke found F.D.R. at 
Warm Springs, he was with his love of 
many years back, Lucy Mercer Ruther- 
furd, who was spirited out of the com- 
pound to evade the press, I had learned 

(continued on page 210) 


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EROS AND POWER (continued from page 204) 


“Truman didn’t flirt with the people nor treat them 
as a practiced lover treats a woman—with ca jjolery." 


earlier, from some press friends, about 
F.D.R.s affair with the glamorous, gentle 
young woman who had been Eleanor's 
social secretary when F.D.R. was in 
Washington during World War One. 
Elcanor discovered the affair and it end- 
ed their sexual relations in marriage. 
F.D.R. had other sexual relationships to 
fill the void and hunger that were within 
him despite his life of power. Roosevelt's 
sons, Elliott and James, bear conflicting 
witness to a long-enduring affair with his 
secretary, Missy LeHand. My own guess 
is that it took place but was an affair 
of propinquity, not a passionate love. 
"That surely applies to his other affairs as 
well, including one with my former pub- 
lisher on the New York Post, Dorothy 
Schiff, which she told me about years ago. 

Presidents share with other men of 
power complex feelings about women. 
Because the public fanfare is so loud and 
so unremitting, they need the constant 
private support that sexual varietism pro- 
vides. A President's life is a massive glory 
trip. With so much exposure to the pub- 
lic when he must control himself. he 
seems to need the contrast of the intense- 
ly private, when he can let himself go, 
and if he can't find it in his marriage 
bed, he must find it somewhere else. 
With the world telling him he is a god, 
he needs constant proof that he is also а 
ith the specter of death hovering 
„ he welcomes the orgasmic ex- 
plosion that tells him he is alive and 
validates his public persona by private 
triumph. The fact that Roosevelt's legs 
were withered and crippled made this 
validation all the more important. 

Roosevelt's one and true love was Lucy 
Mercer, who later (when marriage proved 
impossible for them) became Mrs. Ruth- 
erfurd. But the course of true love was 
cruelly interrupted by his political am- 
bition, which consumed him more than 
love did—as it has every President and 
Presidential aspirant. 


+ 

Of my six Presidents, only Harry Tru- 
man had a true love in marriage. He was 
an exception in another respect as well. 
Alone of the six, he had no ambitions 
for the Presidency until he found him- 
self in it by Roosevelt's death. But then 
he had his own love affair with it and 
wanted to stay for a new full term, to 
show he could get elected on his own and 
to consolidate his policies. 

Things went hard for him. He took on 
the decision to drop the bomb over Hiro- 


210 shima, then Nagasaki, and suffered the 


fallout of criticism, though he daimed 
never to have lost a night's sleep over 
it. (I later concluded—alas, not at the 
time—that he would have done better to 
lose many.) After a decade that saw Tru- 
man’s rise in the estimate of historians, 
he is for the moment lower on the totem 
pole. The younger historians feel he had 
a chance, while America had a monopoly 
on it, to give the bomb to a world agen- 
cy and make a genuine peace with the 
Russians. But it would have taken two to 
make the bargain, and Stalin—sitting on 
top of the pyramid of his postwar power 
in Europe—was in no mood to give up 
his rising arc of power and make a genu- 
ine settlement with the despised West. 

Early in Truman's tenure, ] went to 
see him at the White House, along with 
Jimmy Wechsler, my editor at the New 
York Post. He sat there in the Oval Of- 
fice like a bantam cock in a bustling 
barnyard, newly arrived amidst the din 
and disarray around him, a bit bewil- 
dered but all the more combative for 
that reason. There was a crackling brisk- 
ness about him, not of the corporate ex 
ecutive but of the farmer or small-town 
shopkeeper who wants to get the chores 
done and the business of the day dis 
patched with the fewest words and with 
minimal nonsense. I was young and fool- 
ish enough to be less than impressed. 

I had a bad dry spell in my feelings 
about Truman between 1946 and the 
summer of 1948. I shared it with most of 
my libcral friends, who felt the gap be- 
tween Roosevelt as the great dead father 
figure and this ordinary little man from 
the Pendergast precincts who appointed 
generals and cronies to important posts. 
But Truman, undaunted, won the 1948 
nomination despite us, and his ассерг- 
ance speech at the convention made most 
of us in the press section jump up on the 
benches to cheer his fighting words, The 
“ordinary” little man proved to be an 
extraordinary man, with guts and insight 
and vision, Although 1 had declared for 
Norman Thomas, the Socialist candidate, 
when confronted by the voting machine 
in the polling booth, I found myself—to 
my own surprise—voting for Truman. 
ard second term, with the 
Chinese Revolution (the right-wingers 
blamed him for "losing" China), the Hiss 
case, the bomb-secrets scare, the McCar- 
thy sinister silliness about subversives, the 
Korean War, the challenge of General 
Donglas MacArthur to civilian authority. 
He surmounted them all. He knew what 
he wanted, he developed a feel for the 


power and influence he needed to 
achieve it, and he had an inner well of 
confidence in himself that he conveyed 
to those around him. He was a cocky 
litle man, but for all his bluster, it was 
а quiet cockiness: "If you can't stand the 
heat, get out of the kitchen." 

Truman didn't have the ferocity of 
personal will that was bottled up in oth- 
er Presidents Roosevelt and Kennedy, 
Johnson and Nixon. He was not a driven 
man. But when there was a contest of 
wills in a showdown—between himself 
and MacArthur, for example—it wasn't 
Truman's will that faltered. He commu- 
nicated this to the nation. It knew 
who was in charge: “The buck stops 
here.” And because they knew, their basic 
confidence as a people didn’t falter, and 
they decided not to get out of history's 
kitchen. Thus, the Truman years, which 
were turbulent enough, strike us in retro- 
spect as years of national confidence. 

In his squareness, he had none of the 
magus appeal of Roosevelt. He didn't 
flirt seductively with the people nor treat 
them as a practiced lover treats a wom- 
an—with flattery, cajolery and alternat- 
ing tenderness and strength. His style 
was rather that of the bantam fighter, 
and the times when the people respond- 
ed to him were when they saw their own 
fighting qualities in him, enlisted on 
their side: “Give 'em hell, Harry!” 

. 

1 got to know Eisenhower on his cam- 
paign train and plane, in 1952. A New 
York Post investigative reporter had dug 
up the story of the "Nixon fund"—a kitty 
put together secretly by a group of Cali- 
fornia industrialists to help out their 
man in the Senate. Having won the 
Presidential nomination, Ike had picked 
Nixon for the second spot because he 
was young, articulate and had tracked 
down Alger Hiss. That was Ike's way of 
ing both wings of his party, since 
Nixon had become а darling of the con- 
servatives. Now Ike was irritated at being 
burdened with the albatross of a possible 
corruption scandal. Faced with the ques- 
tion of how he felt about the charges, Ike 
answered with a heartfelt mixture of 
homily and bromide, saying he would 
have to be satisfied that Nixon was 
“clean as a hound's tooth." As the 
Post representative on the train, at every 
conference Ike held with us, I pushed 
hard on the Nixon story—perhaps too 
hard. At one point, Ike burst out, "Either 
Lerner gets off the train or I will." I did, 
because I had a lecture date to fill, but 
not until I had watched Nixon do his 
огіс “Checkers” speech on TV, in- 
sisting that none of the fund's money 
had gone into his dog's care or his wife's 
cloth coat or his modest home. 

During an interval of friendliness be- 
tween the candidate and myself on the 


“Мех! year, we're going to have a sensible Christmas." 


pu 


PLAYBOY 


22 


campaign trip, we had a curious conver- 
Чоп, Ike alighted from the plane at 
one of the stops, saw me coming down 
the ramp and motioned to me to join 
him. We walked about slowly, talking, 
when suddenly Ike stopped, faced me, 
ed my arm and held it for a moment. 
You liberal fellows,” he said, “don't 
think much about my mind." I started 


to blurt out something about his having 
us wrong. "No," he said, "I know you 
don’t.” Then a slight pause as his blue 
eyes sought me out. “But you know,” he 


said, "there's something more important 
than the mind." Again, the slightest 
pause. “And that’s the heart.” 

I can't remember what I said to that. 
I do recall feeling vaguely uncomfor 
ble, as one feels about having somet 
confided to hi 
warranted by the relationship. After a 
long pause, Ike went on to talk of how 
he felt about his war experience with the 
Germans and the Russians, and about 
the Nazi camps for Jewish victims. 

I was in a fiercely rationalist phase of 
my life. I was a liberal Democrat and a 
partisan the contest between the 
head and the he: for a man who 
would guide the destinies o an imperi- 
um—i felt the emphasis on the heart 
was weak and mawkish. I was sure that 
Ike's opponent and my political hero, 
Adlai Stevenson, would know how to put 
head and heart in their proper ranking. 

Later, telling the story, I always got a 
laugh at the naive general who preferred 
the politics of the heart to the politics of 
the mind. But looking back, I suspect the 
laugh proved to be on us, not on him. 
What Ike had meant to say to me— 
though I wasn't open to it at the time— 
was that even in a power game like poli- 
tics, it was a sense ol restraint and decency 
that counted. His reference to his Ger- 
man experience, including the overrun- 
ning of the Nazi cremation camps—in 
part, spoken to me as a Jew—was also 
meant to suggest what happened when 

imple decency was lacking and the po! 
tics of hate took over. 

What made our conversation the more 
poignant was that, for all his occasional 
display of temper, Ike was something of 
a cold fish in his public life. He never 
liked Nixon and several times he was at 
the point of shelving him if he had not 
mustered public support. He fired his 
Chief of Staff for Domestic Affairs, Sha 
man Adams, when he got into the 
cuña coat" scandal. He hoarded rather 
than spent his prestige as a war hero and 
world figure, He watched his popularity 
curve and kept it high by his above-the- 
battle stance. He survived two serious ill- 
nesses, including a heart attack, and was 
re-elected despite them. MacArthur called 
him “the best clerk who ever served me,” 
and Ike countered that he had “studied 
dramatics” under MacArthur. 


Eisenhower was no activist President, 
and the official liberal President raters 
gave him low scores on energy and ct- 
fectiveness. But in later years, during the 
turmoil of the Kennedy and Johnson 
periods, the President watchers felt поз 
gic for the Eisenhower years. Eisen- 
hower had seen enough wars to make 
him stay out of any more. He went into 
office with the promise to end the Korean 
War (“I shall go to Korea” was how 


speechwriter Emmet Hughes put it for 
him). 
In his sexual life, as well, the tradi- 


tional moral code faltered and gave way 
Ikes affair with Kay Summersby, the 
Irishwoman who was his London 
time driver, was bound to leak through 
into the newspaper world. I heard 
it very carly from two sources— 
friend of Harry Butcher's, who was Ike's 
naval aide and close social companion, 
and from a tough reporter who made a 
specialty of knowing where all the po- 
litical bodies were buried. During the 
1952 campaign, there were reports that a 
book by the lady was being hawked 
among American publishers with no will- 
ing takers. It didn't endear her to Ike. 

Years later, after Eisenhower's death 
and before her own death from cancer, 
Miss Summersby wrote her final account 
of her affair with die famous gencral 
and President. It had an element of 
heartbreak—the story of а soldicr away 
at the wars and thrust suddenly to the 
lonely heights of world fame, of a pretty, 
high-spirited girl whose fiancé had been 
killed in the fighting, of the enchant- 
ient each felt, she with his aura of 
authority and command, he with her 
youth and verve, of the gathering ten- 
derness they gave each other, of the 
ménage they set up, of his plans for di 
vorce and remarriage. The narrative 
skimpy where one looks hardest for the 
details that would give a greater emo- 
tional reality to this wartime encounter 
and wooing, But enough is there for us 
to guess what it meant, not only for the 
obscure driver but also for the com- 
mander in chief of the European Theater. 

There is no good psychohistory of 
Eisenhower, But the thrust of the con- 
flicting forces in him is clear enough, His 
was in many ways the Classic story of a 
love affair between a middle-aged, cmo- 
tionally starved man and his young and 
admiring sccretary-aide. Even the story- 
book clash is there between the tradi- 
tonal ethic he inherited and the world 
of possibility opening Гог him. 

At one point in her narrative, Kay 
relates a conversation in which Ike 
spoke of his troubled life with his wife 
nd apologized for his sexual impotence. 
It is hard to guess at Kay 
haps bitterness at Ike's breaking off the 
affair, perhaps (as she insists) to keep the 
historical record straight, perhaps mostly 


CBS 


to affirm that she could have made this 
great man happy. My guess is that the 
impotence story їз overdramatized, prob- 
ably by the ghostwriter, but that Kay did 
have subtleties in lovemaking that were 
new to the general. 

As the story is told, via Harry Tru- 
man, Ike went so far as to write to Gen 
eral George С. Marshall, Chief of Staff 
of the Army, to say that he wanted 
a divorce. Marshall, whose rootedness in 
the traditional ethic was deeper than 
Ike's, and who couldn't imagine anyone 
subordinating his soldierly duty to a per- 
sonal hedonism, cabled back a percmp- 
tory "No"—and is reported to have 
added, “This is an order." The story is 
that Truman later pulled the documents 
out of the file and destroyed them. 

In the end, with whatever tumulis of 
rebellion and resignation, Eisenhower 
broke off the affair. (In a volume of Ike's 
Letters to Mamie, edited by son, 
Brigadier General John Eisenhower, Ike 
kept reassuring Mamie that there was no 
basis for the gossip. Understandable, but 
scarcely convincing.) At that moment, 
too, much was at stake for the whole 
Western alliance. Later, when he re- 
turned to a hero's welcome in New York 
and the clamor grew for him to run for 
the Presidency, ambition took over. 

Quite possibly, by that timc the bloom 
was off the romance, the enchantment 
gone, There is a pathetic scene in the 
Summersby narrative, telling how she 
tried in vain to rcach Ike by phone when 
he was president of Columbia, and then 
by chance ran into him on the steps of 
the administration building. Ike was ada- 
mant, scolded her sharply and told her 
never to пу to reach him again. Clearly, 
he was determined to close that chapter, 
whatever it had once meant to him. His 
career was to move on to the turbulent 
m fight, the election vi 
his eight years of summit power, his ill- 
nesses, his closing antidimactic years at 
Gettysburg, the world plaudits at his 
death. I can see a scriptwriter someday 
tackling the Eisenhower 
Whatever he omits, he will include this 
scene of the general and the driver— 
once lovers, now strangers, in their deso- 
lating encounter on the college steps. 

It was the Presidency that cast its shad- 
ow in advance and that triumphed. The 
comparison with Roosevelt and Lucy 
Mercer comes to mind, That was a less 
clear-cut decision, because Franklin had 
given his promise to Eleanor to wait a 
year and think it over, and before thc 
end of the year, the polio attack closed 
off any choice for either of them. 

In Eisenhower's case, there was a 
chance for a choice, at least outwardly. 
In fact, no one could ist the lure of 
Presidential power. It wasn't a balked 

(continued on page 312) 


when you enter the holy state 
of matrimony, be prepared 
to share everything with your wife е 


when you enter the unholy state 
of divorce, be prepared 


to give everything to your ex-wife м, q 


j 


WHO GETS SCREWED 
IN A DIVORCE? $ 


article 


By ASA BABER ır vou ane an American 


male, and if you get married, the chances are approx- 
imately опе out of two that you will cventually get 
divorced. If you sue for custody of your children, the 
odds are yery much against your winning. In some states, 
only two percent of the men in divorce actions ever gain 
custody of their children. The national average is some 
thing like four men out of every 100 getting custody, and 
at least two of those four are simply handed the children 
at their wives’ request. 

You can also count on paying your ex-wife's court costs 
and at least some of her attorney's fees—almost 98 per- 
cent of the men in divorce settlements do. There will be 


PLAYBOY 


other payments as well. Property will 
have to be divided and, in some cases, 
alimony will be awarded. Debts accumu- 
lated during marriage will have to be 
sorted out, and probable that you 
will have to absorb most of them, 

After your divorce, if your ex-wife 
plays games with your visitation rights 
and does not permit the children to see 
you, there is only one chance in а million 
that she will be jailed for such behavior. 
Should you, in retaliation, withhold ali- 
mony or child support from her, the 
chances are much better that you will 
bc jailed. You might also lose your visita- 
tion rights, 

You probably will not be very healthy 
or stable after your divorce, You will be 
about three times more prone to suicide 
than your ex-wife, 

After divorce, mcn are much more vul- 
nerable to mental illness and self-destruc- 
tive physical discases such as cirrhosis of 
the liver. Dr. Stephen Johnson of the 


of divorce and mental health. 
"There's no doubt about it," he says. 
“Men take divorce much harder than 
women. Divorced men scem to have 
higher rates of mental illness and suicide 
than do divorced women.’ 

Having lost your home and your chil- 
dren and your financial equity, for a 
time you may have a self-image that looks 
like contortions in a fun-house mirror. 
But to top it all off, you will be less apt 
than your ex-wife to seek any kind of 
professional counseling. 

I's obvious to me that women come 
to get help much more often than men 
Dr. Johnson says. "I'd guess nine women 
for every somcthing like that. Men 
just can't admit they need help." John- 
son's book First Person Singular is de- 
signed to lead both men and women 
toward "living the good life alone." 

"I wouldn't want to be a man toda: 
says Joanne Saunders, one of the best 
divorce lawyers in Chicago. She 
vorced herself. She looks like Joan Rivers 
and she has the same quick wit. She has 
handled hundreds of divorce cases for 
men, and she doesn't like what she sees. 
Sod help the poor bastards,” she says, 
shaking her head. “There's women's lib 
for women, but what have men got? Gay 
rights?” She laughs, “I work two areas of 
the law: divorce and labor negotiations. 
And I'll tell you this. ГА rather argue 
with an angry labor leader than with an 
angry wife.” She fans herself and fakes 


an attack of the vapors. "And TI 


tell you this, Its a lot of crap that 
women are automatically better parents 
than men. Especially those women who 
have to keep their kids in order to prove 


216 something or to punish the guy. Today 


they do it under the label liberated wom- 
an. Unh-unh. Not in rry book. They get 
custody and then they turn around and 
ers, leaving 
the kids to watch TV. That's not being 
liberated. That's getting it both ways.” 

Her final thought is loaded with pos- 
We should handle divorce the 
same way we handle labor negotiations. 
Thats all it is, anyway: a negotiation. 
Ther "s no guilt, 
and you've got two people who have 
blown it and they may have kids. OK. 
Just settle up. Sit across the table and 
ire some mediators and. bargain. ‘You 
get this/1 get that.’ Move the whole thing 
out of this morality-religious-legal thing 
and into a negotiating session.” She stops 
and thinks, "But as for being a man 
today?” She laughs again, “Honey, you 
can have it.” 

"One of the biggest struggles I had,” 
says a recently divorced man, “was to 
recognize that I had a problem. That 
may sound stupid, but it's the truth, My 
marriage was in terrible shape. I was 
cheating on my wife and she was cheat- 
ing on me. It was a bitter household, But 
neither one of us had the energy or the 
guts to change anything. So, as I look 
back on it, I think the crucial question 
for most men is this: When are you going 
to admit that your marriage is not going 
well? When arc you going to get your 
head out of the sand and your ass out of 
the air? І mean, I was an ostrich for ten 


years. I can't believe it now, but it's 
the truth. 
Men are reluctant to admit to failure. 


They often pretend that all is well in 
the palace when, in fact, the walls are 
crumbling about them. the obyious 
first step in any solution to the problem 
is the admission that there is a problem. 

If that first step is taken, there is an 
ideal scenario. It is not impossible that 
both husband and wife will be free from 
self-righteousness and vengeance. The di- 
vorce can occur without the usual rancor. 
Male and female can split the spoils of 
marriage and agree to terms and go their 
separate ways. Perfecto! No big legal fees, 
No recriminations. Two adults in a rela- 
tively sane world who understand that 
people change and honeymoons end and 
legalized affairs run their course. What 
could be better, given the circumstances? 

If you are young and unburdened by 
property and children, your chances for 
a peaceful divorce are better than for 
those people who have invested more 
time and energy and resources in their 
ge and who, therefore, feel more 
threatened by its collapse. 

Let's do some assuming. Let's say that 
at this point you are filled with confu- 
sion and guilt but that you don't quite 


know what to do about it. Your age 
is not going well. You are trapped in a 
, but you are afraid 
to admit it. Your wife claims you are a 
monster who is unfit to live with. If you 
have children, they are being told by her 
that you have never appreciated them. 
and that you are not to be trusted. You 
come home one day and find a canceled 
check in the mail indicating that your 
wife has retained a lawyer. The bank 
balance shows that she has withdrawn all 
the funds from your joint account. You 
know that you are spending as much 
time away from home as you can and 
that you are drinking too much. Your 
professional life is suffering from your 
split energies. Your sense of identity i: 
not what it used to be. After all, you 
were raised to be perfect. You are sup- 
posed to be a provider for women and 
children, a guardian and advisor and 
protector, а wolf at the mouth of his 
cave. But here you are, mucking around 
in self-pity and chaos, frightened, uncer- 
in of where to turn or what to do. You 
ask yourself: If John Wayne could take 
Iwo Jima singlehandedly, why do you 
have trouble climbing your own steps? 

What do you do? Where do you go? 

After talking with hundreds of people 
in the ficld—lawyers, judges, social work- 
ers, psychiatrists, teachers, psychologists, 
dergy, doctors, rs, divorced people 
themselves and their children—t've 
found that there are some specific pieces 
of advice for men that seem to apply 
almost universally. 

One refrain sounds consistently 
through all advice: Talk to somebody. 
Don't bottle up your problems and play 
the big brave warrior. Talk to a person, 
any person, preferably someone who 
heard it all before and recognizes the 
dreary sameness in your melodrama. You 
are not alone. Many of us have been 
there. Try to remember that. 

Dr. Harry Whiteley is a psychiatrist in 
private practice in Chicago. His office is 
comfortable place that looks more like 
a private den. A paperback copy of Sex 
ual Suicide is on his desk. Dr. Whiteley 
is a lean man with reddish hair and a 
trim beard. When he speaks, there is an 
air of kindness about him 

"Men have terrible troubles jn di- 
vorc,” he says. “A while ago, I was in a 
friendly neighborhood poker game. You 
know, we'd meet once a week and p 
for small stakes and just enjoy one an- 
other. One by one, there was this steady 
erosion of people as the guys got di- 
vorced. They didn't call or come by. 
They dropped out. Period. They becane 
invisible. It seemed to me they gave up 
the support of the community. I was 
amazed. 


E 


(continued on page 230) 


FEASTING 
WITHOUT FUSS 


how to host a yuletide bash without getting snowed under 


CHRISTMAS DINNER, with one's 
friends circling the festal board, is 
a close encounter of the tenderest 
kind. And you want it to be an 
epicurean extravaganza—a jubila- 
tion of the taste buds, ап exulta- 
Чоп of the senses. But catered 
affairs arc rather impersonal—and 
the alternative, making yourself a 
wretched kitchen slavey, defeats 
the object of a holiday get-together. 
Seasoned hosts know there's an- 
other option—an artfully con- 
ceived menu. The one we've 
created is full of gustatory thrills 
and luxurious touches with, here 
and there, an unexpected treat. 
Preparation is undemanding and 
much of it can be done well in 
advance, liberating the host from 
pesky last-minute chores so he can 
participate in the revelry and be 
virtually a guest at his own bash. 
The suggested prolog is an ar- 
rangement of bivalves, flanked by 
chilled fino and brut champagne. 
George Morfogen, seafood buyer 
at the Grand Central Oyster Bar 
Restaurant, suggests an assortment 


By EMANUEL GREEN 


from among blue points, box oys- 
ters, Chincoteagues, Malpeques, 
cotuits and cherry-stone or little- 
neck clams—along with any local 
specialty such as Olympia oysters 
on the West Coast, Eight per per- 
son is a gencrous portion, A dab 
of fresh salmon caviar, a squirt of 
lime juice and a sting of pepper 
are all the seasoning you want. 
Hold the cocktail sauce, please. 
That's for people who don't really 
like shellfish. 

Our feature attraction, Roast 
Contre-filet, is a cut better known 
in France. It’s actually boneless 
short loin—the segment from 
which strip or shell steaks are tak- 
en—and it makes an elegant main 
dish. You'll find it much simpler 
to handle than steak, and it can 
be held in a very low oven for at 
least 30 minutes while the troops 
enjoy one last round of drinks. 
The roast calls for a substantial 
red ; a vintage cabernet sau- 
vignon is just right. 

Accompany the roast with a 
Bountiful Pilaf, studded with suc- 


food and drink 


HLUSTRATION BY TIM LEWIS 


culent surprises—and a Christmas 
relish. What's that? A collage of 
watermelon pickles and spiced crab 
apples in holiday hues. Arrange 
them on a handsome centerpiece 
and it’s a decorative eye catcher, 
too. Other combinations of red 
and green—cherry tomatoes and 
green-pepper fingers or red globe 
radishes and gherkins—may be 
added or substituted. 

Our salad, of Russian descent, is 
an interesting change from the 
predictable tossed greens and dou- 
bles as a vegetable and salad 
course, making the salad plate and 
fork superfluous. 

And for dessert, cinnamon- 
scented Vintner's Pears. They're 
poached in wine—but it’s a simple 
matter and can be done days 
before, Complement the fruit with 
Roquefort Délice or an assortment 
of Roquefort, chèvre and aged 
cheddar. Flout convention and 
pour a lateharvest California 
Riesling with this course. You'll 
score points for spunk and savvy. 
Have (continued on page 308 


ERG 


THERE ARE SIX SECONDS left in the game. Your team is one point down and has ап 
inbounds play at mid-court. Which pro vould y t to get the ball and take the 
last shot? Or try this scenario: Your team's seemingly comfortable 15-point lead quickly 
has been whittled down to eight points in the fourth quarter and the team is beginning 
to panic. Whom do you want to take over, slow things down and set up a play that will 
turn the momentum around? 

Who, in other words, are pro-basketball's clutch players—the supersuperstars who are able to summon upa 
little bit extra and consistently dcliver the big basket, big steal ок big rebound when all the cash is on the line? 

wer to that question, PLayuoy contacted the men whose job it is to know such things: the head 

National Basketball Association teams, the men who are on the floor for at least 82 games а season 

and who know which players can deliver in the clutch and which cannot. The roster of N.B.A. coaches before the 


whom would you choose to play on your mythical team in a mythical big-money game? 


t of the 1978-1979 pro-basketball season was as follows: Hubie Brown, Atlanta Нам 

i Costello, Chicago Bulls; Bill Fitch, Cleveland Cavaliers; Larry Brown, Denver. Nuggets 

Detroit Pistons; AI Attles, Golden State Warriors, Tom Nis 

Cotton Fitzsimmons, Kansas gs Jerry West, Los Angeles Lakers; Don Nelson, Milwaukee Bucks; Kevin 

Jersey Nets; Elgin Baylor, New Orleans J illis Reed, New York Knickerbockers; Billy Cunning- 
adelphia 76ers; John MacLeod, Phoenix Su k scy, Portland Trail Blazers; Doug Moe, San Antonio 
ne Shue, San Diego Clippeis; Lenny Wilkens, Seattle Supersonics; and Dick Motta, Washington Bullets. 
acted the coaches and asked them to. ne the five р s, among all the 200-plus active N.B. 

formers, whom they would want to start in the most crucial money game of the scason at the five starting positions: 

two forwards, two guards and a center. We also asked them to name the best clutch “sixth man,” the nonregular 

whom they would most like to have on the bench, ready to spell a starter or rally a sluggish offense in that mythical 


we asked the pro-basketball coaches, and some of their answers just may surprise you 


Center: Bill Walton, Portland Trail Blozers (10 votes) 

Walton's presence here bespeoks the coaches’ appreciation 
for the well-rounded tolent, over the offensive or defe: 
stondout. Wolton exults in the discipline that makes him 
equally adept ot passing, blocking, rebounding, picking ond 
feeding off, as well os scoring. Walton’s value in clutch sit- 
vations is indicated by the fact that in 1977, when heolthy, 
he led Portland to the М.В.А. chompionship; ond in 1978, 
when he was injured, the Blazers foded in the preliminories. 


Forward: Julius Erving, Philadelphia 76ers (10 votes) 

The celebroted Doctor J won an eosy victory ot the forward 
position, proving thot the cooches don’t hold the ‘Sixers’ 
recent play-off miseries ogoinst him. And why should they? 
A supershooter who con bust open o game with his slom 
dunks ond outduel virtuolly anybody one on one, Erving is 
omong the тоз! exciting ond intimidoting players in N.B.A. 
annals, ond his stots (20.6 points-per-game overage, .502 


field- goal accuracy lest season) only hint ot his true o] 


Forward: Rick Barry, Houston Rockets (11 votes) 

If the coaches’ selection of the veteron Borry is surprising, 
his position as cochomp vote getter is more so. Yet lost 
season, Borry won his fourth free-throw chompionship, wos 
13th among leogue scoring leaders, with o 23.1 points- 
per-gome overoge, ond ronked as one of the top N.E.A. 
forwords in shooting ond ossists. These stats, plus his 
intense hord-chorging perfectionism, combine to make the 
University of Miami graduote a top money-game performer. 


Guard: David Thompson, Denver Nuggets (5 votes) 
Thompson, the man who finished second to Gervin in last 
yeor's scoring race, has been more noted recently for the 
reword for his talent—on $800,000-per-yeor contrect—than 
for his talent itself. But Thompson's tolents ore not disputed, 
least of oll by the N.B.A. coaches (who also gave him four 
votes at forword)—a deadly series of shots, unconny ogility 
ond o superhumon leaping ability thot ollows him, ot 64%”, 
to outjump—and outdunk—most of the league's centers. 


Guard: George Gervin, San Antonio Spurs (11 votes) 

No surprise here, os the 67" Son Antonio Ice Mon swept in 
with the votes of half the pro cooches. The reoson is par- 
tially in the foct that he was the N.B.A/s leading scorer 
lost seoson, with a 27.21 per-game overoge, ond partiolly in 
the foct thot he won that title with a superclutch 63-point per- 
formonce in the season's finol game, to win by six tenths of 
o percentage point. There ore experts who say thot Eastern 
Michigon grad Ge: is the best clutch ployer in the N.B.A. 


Sixth Man: Fred Brown, Seattle Supersonics (61% votes) 

Downtown Freddy Brown was one of the wonders of the 
N.B.A. last seoson, overoging 16.6 points over 72 regular- 
season gomes, even though he was not a regular member 
of the storting five (in foct, Brown was second omong all 
‘Supersonic scorers). And in the chompionship series, though 
the ‘Sonics lost in seven games, it wos Brown who came 
off the bench to sink a quick series of long-ronge jump- 
ers and key the three victories thot his team did secure. 


big-money game. The coaches responded 
with enthusiasm (we received replies 
from 21 of the 22 coaches, with one de- 
dining to participate for personal rea- 
sons) and their choices contained a 
couple of surprises. 

While all of our six winners earn hand. 
some pay checks, a number of today's 
high salaried, headline grabbing perform- 
ers received not a single vote, includ 
ing George McGinnis, Bob McAdoo, 
Doug Collins and Moses Malone, addi- 
tionally, a number of other top money- 
makers received only а handful of votes, 
such as Pete Maravich (three votes), Earl 
Monroe (four), Marvin Webster (onc) 
and Bob Lanier (one). 

The N.BA. champion Washington 
Bullets placed no one on the clutch- 
player team, but their vanquished play- 
off opponent, the Seattle Supersonics, 
managed to place one player, sixth-man 
winner Fred Brown, On the other hand, 
one of the clutch-player winners was on 
а team that finished last, and another 
was on 2 third-place finisher. 

The winners of pravaoy’s first annual 
Cash-on-the-Line, Clutch-Player All-Star 
Poll are profiled at left. Other ballots 
are listed below, by position. 

Guard: Brian Winters, Milwaukee 
Bucks, 4 votes: Fred Brown, Seattle 
Supersonics, 3; Pete Maravich, New Or- 
leans Jazz, 3; Earl Monroe, New York 
Knickerbockers, 3; Paul Westphal, Phoe- 
nix Suns, 3; Lionel Hollins, Portland 
Trail Blazers, 2; Randy Smith, San Die 
go Clippers, 2; Dennis Johnson, Seatle 
Supersonics, 1; Oscar Robinson, 1; Jerry 
West, 1; John Williamson, New Jersey 
Nets, 1 

Forward: David Thompson, Denver 
Nuggets, 4 votes; Walter Davis, Phoenix 
Suns, 3; John Drew, Adanta Hawks, 2: 
Elvin Hayes, Washington Bullets, 2; 
Bobby Jones, Philadelphia 76ers, 2; Elgin 
Baylor, 1; Bobby Dandridge, Washing- 
ton Bullets, 1; John Havlicek, Boston 
Celtics, 1; Mickey Johnson, Chicago 
Bulls, 1; Billy Knight, Boston Celtics, 1: 
Len Robinson, New Orleans Jazz, 1; 
Paul Silas, Seattle Supersonics, 1; Bingo 
Smith, Cleveland Cavaliers, 1. 

Center: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Los 
Angeles Lakers, 6 votes; Dave Cowens, 
1; Bob Lanier, Detroit 
Pistons, 1; Swen Nater, San Diego Clip- 
pers, 1; Bill Russell. 1; Marvin Webster, 
New York Knickerbockers, 1. 

Sixth Man: Mitch Kupchak, Washing- 
ton Bullets, 30 votes; Paul Westphal, 
Phoenix Suns, 3; Junior Bridgeman, МІ: 
waukee Bucks, 1; Dave Cowens, Boston 
Celtics, 1; John Havlicek, Boston Celtics, 
1; C. J. Johnson, Washington Bulle 
Ron Lee, Phoenix Suns, 1; Earl Monr 
New York Knickerbockers, 1; Charlie 
Scott, Boston Celtics, 1; Jack Sikma, 
Seattle Supersonics, 1. 

—-TERRY CATCHPOLE 


“Oh, Mr. Begby, I was just unwrapping your gift.” 


221 


DHL 


ENCOUNTERS 


НИН иш; etn s 
неона о 


н 


Modern fabrics, stretchy 
end sheer, offer minimal 
coverage. She dreamed 
she danced oll night in her 
teeny-weeny bra and bi- 
kini by Barbara Hulanicki, 
far left. The set is so small 
you can conceal it in the 
palm of your hand. The 
white-lace bra and panty, 
top left, is a real French 
tickler by Charmereine of 
France. If you think the 
corset went out with the 
girls af the Moulin Rouge, 
guess again. You might 
soy it has staying power, 
or ot least powerful stays. 
The topless white-lace 
number, worn with white. 
stockings at left, is by 
Rose Lewis af London. 


Yau remember top pants, à 
la Ruby Keeler? Terrific 

for the shuffle kick with 
half turn to the casting 
couch. Here is some sheer 
madness (above) from 
Ciro: black top ponts with 
removable souvenir gar- 
ters—something to remem- 
ber her by. Zandra Rhodes 
presents о short tulle gown, 
right. A favarite of bal- 
lerinas, tulle delicately veils 
without hiding. Speaking 
of hiding, look below left. 
No, that’s not a pair of 
shoes peeking from under 
а Henry Moore sculpture. 
It's a rear view of Hulo- 
nicki^s sheer body stocking, 
the front of which tokes 

a stretch below. 


Lingerie has became a sec- 
ond skin—a fantasy layer 
for acting out romance and 
intrigue. No snuggies 

here. The conspirators (top) 
ore wearing Emilio Pucci’s 
tiger-lily-orange camisole 
and Christian Dior's salmon 
bandeau bra ond top 
pants. The enchantress 
abave in the black- 

lace pant and camisale set 
by Shu-Ba lacks like 
someone Mickey Spillane 
might have once known. 
Hold your breath with sus- 
pense—the lady is being 
held by о waist cincher by 
lily of Fronce, right. Gild- 
ing the Шу are John Kloss's. 
strelch bikini panties. 


If your fantasies tend to 

be more grandiose, pleats 
and ruffles moy be enter- 
taining, and Oscar de la 
Renta may be your mon. 
Oscar says he designs his 
robes “nat for women of 
leisure but for women who 
have corned their lei- 
sure.” We'll buy thot. 
Here's сп Oscar winner 
(above and inset) that’s 
sexy enough ta be called a 
ball gown. A ruffle circles 
the neck and cascades 
down the side, Zandra 
Rhades's pleated tap 
Pants, right, make us want 
ta shuffle aff ta Buffalo— 
in a sleeping comport- 
ment, naturally. 


And now for a brief end- 
ing. As you con see, these 


top doncers are tied up 
at the moment, but they 
did manage to tell us 
that the pants on the left 
below ore by Fernando 
Sanchez and the poir 
‘above and at right below 
are by Glydons. 


PLAYBOY 


DIVORCE (continued from page 216) 


“As much as it’s needed, there is no male equivalent 
to the National Organization for Women.” 


After an hour's discussion, White- 
ley concludes: "Men are an unexplored 
area, really. They don't identify their 
emotions very well. They usually know 
when they're angry, but they hardly ever 
сап admit to grief. 105 hard for them to 
regress. Hard for them to trust another 
man this emotional side of things. I 
know that I have to fight a certain kind 
of dread that I feel when I see a male 
patient who is so locked in that he can't 
hug or сту or express anything but anger. 
Jt can take years of work before some men 
are willing to be self-expressive at all." 

Judge Charles Fleck is a Republican 
slated by the late Mayor Daley to run 
for the Cook County Court, He is young 
and humorous and refreshing and he 
looks something like the comedian Char- 
lie Callas, 

Fleck hears hundreds of divorce cases 
a year. He thinks many men are para- 
lyzed by fear of failure and that often 
their best case is never made. 

“It's ego,” Fleck says. "Men think 
they are supposed to be the stronger sex. 
‘They can’t face defeat by their wives, so 
when it gets to the ‘final war, they'd 
rather give in and sign a weak divorce 
agreement than fight a battle they might 
lose. I see a lot of men who aren't psy- 
chologically prepared to fight for the 
custody of their children. But in today's 
society, the mother is not automatically 
the better parent, The father usually 
loves his children as much as anyone 
ebe, and there are many times when he 
might make the better parent.” 

Fleck is aware of the antiquated di- 
vorce system and all its defects. "Mar- 
riage may not cven fulfill the needs of 
society today," he says, "But we're still 
applying old standards to modern prob- 
lems. We have a new divorce act herc in 
п that has language іп it as to 
grounds that is 106 years old, taken ri 
out of the act of 1872. The law talks 
about one spouse doing harm to the other 
"by poison or other means.’ That's a 
quote. "Traditional practice simply hasn't 
caught up with the times. "The whole 
system needs to be re-examined.” He 
Jeans back and stares at the gum-ball ma- 
chine in the corner. Over his head, there 
is a sign that reads, THREE MAY KEEP A 

FCRET IF TWO ARE DEAD. Fleck is sitting 
desk, judicial robes on, waiting for 
. "I don't know," he says 
guess I'd have to admit, when 


no 


agai 


230 it comes right down to it, that the male 


may be equal under the dry rubric of 
the law, but he probably isn't always 
equal in the way the divorce law is ad- 
ministered. Men who complain about 
unfair treatment. frequently have legiti- 
mate complaints. 

Fleck's conclusions are echoed by many 
other pcople in the system itself: lawyers, 
psychiatrists, social workers, judges. The 
male does not fare well in the process 
they administer. 

But as much as it might be needed, 
there is no national men's-rights group 
at present. There is no coordinated 
divorcereform organization, no male 
equivalent to the National Organization 
for Women. Nothing on that order. 

What we do have is a growing number 
of independent divorce-advisory groups 
designed specifically to meet men's prob- 
Jems. And any man about to go through 
a divorce should consider joining one. 

State by state, city by city, on an in- 
consistent and unorganized basis, men's- 
rights groups are being born. Each group 
seems to operate more or less on its own. 
Standards and goals vary, but if you shop 
around a little and compare their stated 
purposes, you should be able to find 
something of utility. 

Contact several of the groups and ask 
about their fees, their methods of opera- 
tion, the size of their membership, etc. 
(One list of men’s divorce reform groups 
is printed in What Every Man Should 
Know About Divorce, by Robert Cas- 
sidy.) Do this as soon as you think your 
marriage is heading for divorce. Don't 
wait until you are in court, because by 
that time, you might already have made 
several major tactical errors, and you 
may be locked into a course of action that 
you could not have foreseen. 

Almost any one of those groups can 
give you some kind of help. Many of 
them offer men's rap groups, divorce 
clinics, newsletters, court observers. They 
will help you choose a lawyer from their 
knowledge of the attorneys in town who 
take some interest in men's rights, How 
did you plan to pick a lawyer, anyway? 
"He's a nice guy and 1 had lunch with 
him once"? Or "I went to college with 
him"? Or, perish the thought, “IIL just 
use my wife's attorney and save on fees"? 
More than a few men have paid dearly 
when they've chosen an attorney by word 
of mouth. 

o it is a good thing to be able to use 
men'srights organizations for advice and 


recommendations. They have not been 
around in any force for more than a few 
years, They do not meet with the ap- 
proval of some of the established order 
within the divorce system; but they have 
increased the options for men by helping 
them, at the least, compare notes about 
the unfair treatment so many of them 
receive, 

From a brochure of the America's So- 
ciety of Divorced Men (Elgin, Illinois): 


Our main concerns are for our 
children, justice and our freedom. . . . 

We believe that contemporary 
marriage and divorce practices do 
not permit men to marry with any 
reasonable degree of safety. In prac- 
tical fact, we are in custody of our 
wives, or ex-wives, and in practical 
fact, we are only tenant fathers, al- 
most wholly subject to the whims of 
women, the legal profession and the 
courts. 

We have an EQUAL RIGHT to 
the custody of our children, if we 
enforce it. We do not have to pay 
alimony to undeserving spouses if we 
assert our rights! We do not have to 
be jailed for divorce debts, or pay 
opposing lawyers before the fault is 
proven, or stand for being removed 
from our children and our homes 
upon unproven, often perjured 
complaints, 


That is helpful language to the man 
who is going through a divorce. He needs 
to know that he has some rights. He 
needs help in remembering the basics. 
Perhaps if he is reminded of those thi 
and if he is given some help and advice 
along the way, he will be less likely to 
become one of the statistics mentioned at 
the beginning of this article. 

Advice such as this: "If a divorce is 
pending, a man should not move out of 
his house." So says Richard Templeton, 
president of A.S.D.M. “The question of 
whether or not and when you move out 
of your house is extremely important in 
а tactical sense,” he adds, lot of men 
don't know that. A lot of lawyers don't 
tell their clients much about that. OK. 
That is where an organization such as 
ours comes in. If a man about to go 
through a divorce contacts us, we can 
help with his self-defense. We tell him, 
"First and foremost, don’t move out of 
the house, No matter how hard your wife 
makes it on you, you stay. It's your home 
as much as it is hers, Those are your chil- 
dren as much as they are hers. In most 
states, you can't be thrown out of your 
own home hout a court order. In Illi- 
nois, for example, even if they get the 
court order, there has to be a hearing 
within ten days of the action. You have 

(continued on page 234) 


“OK, second from the end. Open your coat and 
give usa ‘Ho, ho, ho! 


у SSS. Жм... ai E aS € MIT 
АЕ rac ai ad = 


"S CHRISTMAS CARDS ` 
PLAYBOY'S rt der ас 


TO THE KING ОЕ 
THE DANCE F. LOOR 
Since first 
You have been a disco freak; 
Your fever starts on Saturday 
Апа rages through the week. 


you saw that movie, 


ned 
PRACT 
æ Ai] 


verse By JUDITH WAX а 


les bacon. 
Oy might have але 
If Moscowa had a bre: 


i cem. We! 
ee. Corneliu 


PLAYBOY 


234 


DIVORCE (continued from page 230) 


“Many lawyers are cynical about men’s rights in 
divorce when it comes to child custody.” 


constitutional rights. Don't forget that. 
You leave the house and you leave the 
children—unless you decide to take them 
with you, which is recommended in a lot 
of cases. But let's say you just leave. The 
divorce is going to take time. All that 
time, your children will be living with 
their mother. You sue for custody. The 
judge sces that you've been out of the 
house for six months. The courts don't 


‘Templeton has other suggestions. “On 
the tactical side, again. Get to the joint 
account and close it. Cancel all the credit 
cards. Change the bencficiaries on insur- 


ance policies and your will. Make your 
children the sole beneficiaries so your 
ex-wife doesn't profit from your death. 
Fight alimony.” 

As Templeton sees it, there are four 
rules for emotional self-protection as a 
male starts divorce proceedings. “One, 
contact an organization such as ours; 
we've been through it before and we 
know what you are going through. Two, 
stay out of bars. Three, self-pity is out; 
try to get rid of it. Four, remember at all 
times, as hard as it may be, that you have 
constitutional rights.” 

It seems safe to say that if you choose a 
men'srights group that suits you, your 
chances of maintaining your self-respect 
are improved. Whether the organization 
is called Fathers for Equal Rights or 
Men's Divorce Reform or Divorced Men's 
Association, it can give you some insight 
into the divorce process as it affects men. 
You will probably feel less alone. You 
will be able to talk with other men who 
have gone through what you think is 
your unique experience. You can profit 
from their mistakes and listen to their 
advice. 

Having said all of that in support of 
men'srights groups, there is one small 
warning. 

Leon Tebo, past president of Divorced 
Fathers, has some cogent reflections on 
the problems that some groups can cause 
if you do not choose wisely: 

"Some of the people heading these 
programs stay too long in the job. They 
can get hitter and lose perspective. Di- 
vorce is an emotionally packed issue and 
some of the men who work with it day 
after day can turn every bit as fanatical 
as the most radical women'erights 
groups." 

Tebo himself resigned as an officer of 


Divorced Fathers for that very reason. “I 
had my own life to lead," he says. How- 
ever, he sent out а questionnaire to some 
of the 80 extant men'srights groups be- 
fore he left, trying to see if there were 
any interest in national coordination. “I 
got very few replies,” he reports, “There 
is a need for a unified men'scights move- 
ment, But I guess it's not going to hap- 
pen for a long time, The divorce reform 
groups come and go. It's hard to keep 
track of all of them. But it's possible that 
even the [arout ones may be of some 
help to a guy getting a divorce. 

The message is simple. Join a men's- 
rights/divorce-reform organization. Be- 
fore you move out of the house. Before 
you hire a lawyer. Before you agree to 
talk with your wife’s lawyer. Join a 
group of men who have been there and 
who know something about it. You are 
entering a system of law and precedence 
that is a nightmare for most men. 
While you may still think of yourself as 
the toughest guy on the block, try to 
remember that this is not your neighbor- 
hood. You haven't even been down this 
block. You may have a gauntlet to run. 
Why not take advantage of the few op- 
portunities you have and subscribe to 
some of the only aid offered? 

. 

One of the biggest problems a man 
faces when he considers divorce is the 
choice of an attorney. It is not a casual 
matter. If things are going to be con- 
tested, and if a fight looms, the choice of 
a lawyer can make you or break you. But 
it is almost impossible for the lay person 
to judge an attorncy's ability and inter- 
ests. Firmness of grip, clearness of eye, 
style of dress, professions of sympathy, 
size of office—none of these makes the 
perfect barrister for you. 

With good reason, many lawyers are 
cynical about men’s rights in divorce, par- 
ticularly when it comes to questions 
about child custody. But if you are going 
to try to win custody of your kids, does 
it make sense to deal with a defcatist in 
the matter? Some lawyers will pretend. 
your case is simple and will suggest that 
the cost will be minimal; but when you 
get your bill, you will find complications 
you never imagined. 

(It is impossible to estimate in any 
accurate way what the average divorce 
costs in terms of attorney's fees. There 
are "do it yourself" kits that adver- 
tise complete services for under $100; 


there are attorneys who publidy claim 
they can handle cases for about $150; 
but the time and charges vary greatly 
from case to case and from region to 
region and a divorce usually costs much 
more. Your best bet is to request an 
estimate of fees for your particular case 
and, if possible, to get an agreement that 
billing will not exceed a certain figure. 
Finally, should you feel you have been 
grossly overcharged, do not forget that 
most bar associations have grievance pro- 
cedures by which you can contest un- 
reasonable fees.) 

Unless you have extraordinary contacts 
inside the legal profession, you should 
consider using one of the divorce-reform 
organizations for attorney references, 
They probably know the lawyers who 
have a genuine interest in men's rights. 
And in using them, you are at least do- 
ing beter than choosing at random. 

"Wait a minute," you might argue. 
"Why do I need any help now that 
there's ‘no fault’ in a lot of states? No 
fault sounds really simple. Nobody has 
to blame anybody for anything.” 

Unfortunately, no fault is a term that 
is misunderstood by most people. While 
it can eliminate the need to get up on 
the stand and lie about supposed wrong: 
doing on the part of your spouse just to 
get a divorce, there are many problems 
it does not solve. The point is that the 
moment you begin to argue over any- 
thing—property, child custody, alimony, 
etc.—the case tends to revert to the ques- 
tion of fault. And the odds are that you 
will become involved in such arguments 
somewhere along the line. 

Robert Blackwell, who has written a 
tough and handy book titled The Fight- 
er's Guide to Divorce, says of no fault: 
"It is supposed to solve everything. И 
doesn't, It allows one to obtain a divorce, 
but then other items become the object 
of litigatio 

So you had better be prepared to seek 
help and to defend yourself under rules 
and applications of law that have not 
exactly been kind to men over the ycars 
and that have driven many men to fun- 
damental despair. 


E 

Merely listing the injustices and con- 
tinuously chanting our complaints will 
not do much for any of us. Something 
else is needed. Divorce reform deserves 
our energics, but where do we go from 
there? 

‘The ultimate question has nothing to 
do with laws or judges or cruel cx-wives. 
As comfortable as it might be to put the 
blame elsewhere, we mcn cannot dodge 
our respoi ty. The overwhelming 
question is this: How can we find iden- 
tity and pride and self-worth as men? We 

(continued on page 298) 


in this game of sexual chess, he was out to 
capture a Jeu piece and she was 


1 WAS EITHER THINKING or daydreaming 
when last call was announced by Sam 
One and echoed at the far end of the bar 
by Sam Three. In obedience to the hokey 
traditions of Rick’s Café Americain, a 
scratchy disc of As Time Goes By was 
put on the turntable to signal the end of 
another drinking day. The clock read 


[ulon By TREVANIAN 


just learning the moves —by the 


est-selling author of “the main" 


2:10, which meant it was five minutes 
before two. It is another tradition at 
Rick's to set the bar clock ahead 15 min- 
utes to create a little leeway for moving 
drunks out. All the regulars know this 
gimmick, so it doesn't work; but that 
doesn’t prevent it from being one of 
Rick's cherished instant traditions, like 


HLUSTRATION BY PAT NAGEL 


playing As Time Goes By and hanging 
huge blowups of stills from Casablanca 
on the walls and calling all the barmen 
Sam—this last having a particularly pre- 
cious embellishment: They are known as 
Sam One, Sam Three, Sam Five, etc., be- 
cause someone once described them as 
an odd lot. 


(continued on page 250) 235 


s 


PLAYBOY 


10 which he could transpose essentially 
the same lovable thug the TV audience 
worships on Welcome Back, Kotter. In 
Fever, Travolta propelled the disco look 
straight into pop culture, in much the 
same way that Diane Keoton’s oddly put- 
together outfits resulted in a parade of 
Annie Hall look-alikes issuing out of ev- 
ery fashionable boutique in the country. 

Travolta’s success has been an inter- 
esting contrast to the fate of television’s 
other popular hood, Henry Winkler, who 
twice tried to play a far different char- 
acter in films and twice bombed. If 
rumor be true, Travolta was having 
some of the same trouble shifting char- 
acter during the filming of his next 
ure, Moment by Moment, a drama 
h Lily Tomlin. On film so far, though, 
"Travolta has been hot to trot in ways 
he could never get by with on Koller, 
even though he does more dancing than 
romancing in his two hit pictures. 

In contrast, this year's female sex stars 
were an odd lot—deliciously desirable 
but strangely out of reach and out of 
focus, leaving the mind to fill in where 
the libido can't quite reach, Television 
cranked out two more blondes, Cheryl 
Ladd and Suzanne Somers, to rival last 
year's queen, Farrah. Even more two- 
dimensionally, Cheryl Tiegs suddenly 
seized the publics imagination with 
nought but a poster. (Pinup posters, in 
fact, suddenly boomed into a billion- 
dollar business for all the sex stars, dec 
orating the most bedroom walls since 
America fought World War Two to keep 
Betty Grable safe from the enemy.) 

Strangely, though, every onc of this 
year's new sexy ladies kept interrupting 
her fans’ fantasies with constant remind- 
ers that she was personally happily 
married and extremely faithful. And, as 
usual with the best of ladies, if they 
aren't already attached, they're prob- 
ably too young. The year's other fresh 
excitement was 18-year-old Brooke Shields, 
a blossoming beauty whose nude debut 
in Pretty Baby was shocking in the 
least—and illegal in some parts of the 
world, where the film was banned. Still, 
pretty as she is, Brooke is nobody older 
guys can admit to b. 
without consulting the 

For all its antiseptic sex, however, 
television has matured amazingly fast as 
it searches for something to show besides 
violence. With a leer and a lurch, TV 
this past season moved out of the Forties 
and into the Sixties, now showing more 
skin (but no nipples or pubes) and dis- 
cussing more sexual kinks than anybody 
ever thought would get past the censors. 
Who knows? If the trend continues, TV 
may catch up to the Seventies sometime 
in the Eighties. And then we'll get some 


gag veal sex stars in the living room. 


In the meantime, movies seem unin- 
terested in new sexual frontiers, pushing 
fantasy and music instead. With a cou- 
ple of R-rated exceptions such as Com- 
ing Home and An Unmarried Woman, 
the new sex stars emerged in plainly 
PG pictures aiming for young audi- 
ences and big, big record sales. Although 
never bedded down together in the pic- 
ture, Travolta and fetching Olivia Newton- 
John, in her first film, let the sparks fly 
on a single and an album that were 
certified hits before Grease was released. 
(In Hollywood, where sex is always basi- 
cally a business, that is known as pro- 
tecting the downside risk; in other 
words, make enough money off the ad- 
vance record sales to shelter the produc- 
tion costs of the film.) 

Similarly, Peter Frampton and the Bee 
Gees were lured out of the recording 
studios into their first film, Sgt. Pepper's 
Lonely Hearts Club Band, and wound up 
with another platinum record for their 
walls. Rol Robertson of The Band was 
also larger than life in the cinéma vérité 
concert film The Last Waltz; while Donna 
Summer set hearts atripping with her 
disco set in Thank God It's Friday. 

In Turning Point, the music softened 
but the sex sizzled in the pas de deux 
between Mikhail Baryshnikov and Leslie 
Browne. Hailed offscreen as the “Travolta 
of high culture,” the handsome young 
Russian was romantically linked with 
half of New York City including 
Browne, Ша Minnelli and ballerina Gelsey 


was left to another singer, Linda 
Ronstadt, to tease the public with the 
most glamorous real-life romance of all, 
hand in hand at the hot spots with 
California's good-looking bachelor gov- 
ernor, Jerry Brown. Naturally, smoke-room 
gossip made much of the fact that the 
romance surfaced after a major maga- 
zine reported that some of the gover- 
nor's backers were fearful of a whispered 
homosexual issue, no matter how untrue, 
in his re-election campaign. But others 
insisted the romance was real and that 
Linda might be rock's first first lady. 

Warren Beatty—the successful, rich, 
handsome, carefree heartbreaker—again 
disappointed that segment of Hollywood 
wishing he would fall on his ass just 
once. Back with his first film since 
Shampoo, Beatty co-wrote, produced, co- 
directed and starred in Heaven Can 
Wait, an instant box-office and critical 
hit. He was even brave enough to co-star 
a former ladylove, Julie Christie, and get 
away with it. 

Biggest comeback of the year, though, 
was registered by Jon Voight, who has had 
his share of clunkers since his debut in 
Midnight Cowboy. But in Coming 
Home, he not only re-established his 


dramatic talents but pinned down the 
year's most talked-about sex scene: As a 
crippled Vietnam veteran, Voight fully 
demonstrated that sex doesn't exist 
merely below a man's waist. Stopping 
just short of ап X, Voight made quite 
clear what was on his mind as he slipped 
his lips down Jane Fonda's excited body. 

Speaking of comebacks, Ali McGraw 
turned up again—unfortunately, in the 
year's biggest turkey, Convoy. But the 
film got her permanently out of 
the house of Steve McQueen, for whom she 
had dumped producer Robert Evans sev- 
eral years ago, during the shooting of 
The Getaway. So. after Convoy. who 
signs her for his next picture? Evans, 
of course. But while the tongues clucked, 
they also remarked that McGraw is look- 
ing lovelier than ever and are awaiting 
the result of the Evans picture, Players, 
in which Ali stars with handsome Dean 
Paul Martin (Dean's son). 

McQueen, incidentally, not only lost 
a wife but his first picture in many years, 
Ап Enemy of the People, is dangerously 
moribund. Warner Bros. urged him not 
to make the heavy-handed, artsy adapta- 
tion of the Henrik Ibsen drama, but 
McQueen insisted. After a few test 
screenings, W.B. decided it had been 
right in the beginning and has all but 
shelved the movie. But all was not a 
loss. McQueen did manage to gain 
enough pounds to make himself unrec- 
ognizable on the lot. 

He wasn’t the only superstar to suffer 
this year. Charles Bronson tested his wan- 
ing popularity with Telefon and found 
it had waned more than he feared. Jimmy 
Сооп couldn't come up with a winner 
(though he has high hopes for the forth- 
coming Hide in Plain Sight, bis first 
directorial outing) and neither could 
Dustin Hoffman. It's now been nearly three 
years since Robert Redford appeared in a 
leading role, in All the President's Men 
(not counting his cameo in A Bridge Too 
Fat). Paul Newman and Marlon Brando have 
also been coasting this year, along with 
Barbra Streisand. But at several million 
bucks per picture, who needs to work 
much? 

Burt Reynolds, however, refused to rest. 
After Smokey and the Bandit, he fol. 
lowed with Semi-Tough and The End. 
In two of those, he costarred with the 
former Flying Nun, Solly Field, adding 
fuel to their offscreen romance. While 
the affair was still running hot, the two 
knocked off another picture, Hooper, 
directed by Burt’s bachelor buddy and 
roommate, Hal Needham, a handsome wild 
man himself. Needham, who got very 
rich directing his first picture, Smokey, 
says, "Burt let me direct Smokey ‘cause 
he thought if I made a million bucks, I'd 

(continued on page 369) 


QUITE POSSIBLY, THE MOST EXTRAVAGANT JAGUAR EVER BUILT 


JASUAI ХУ 


Jaguar engineers and dc 
always gone to great lengths in their 
pursuit of excellence. With the latest 
great Jaguar, the S-type. they ve gone 
even further. It is extravagant in the de- 
ree to which it surpasses the limits of 
conventional luxury cars. For the 
а very gracefully, an almost 
blending. of great luxury with 
the-ordinary handling and re- 
sponse. It may well be the best-han- 
dling four-pas in the world 
The S-type has fully-independent 
suspension. four-wheel power disc 


„rack and pinion steering, and the 
velvet-smooth, immensely responsive 
electronically fuel-injected Jaguar V-12 
engine. In its first Trans Am season, an 
S-type won five Category I victories. 

Yet the е is surpassingly luxuri- 
ous too: it is silent in motion and 
equipped with thoughtful accessorie: 
such as thermostatically-regulated heat 
and air conditioning, stereo AM/FM 

io and tape system, automatic trans- 
mission and steel-belted rad 5 
fact, so completely equipped is the XJ-S 
that there are no factory options at all. 


Perhaps Road & Track summed it up 
best when it-said of the S-typ: he 
emphasis is on refinement, complete si- 
lence, luxury, comfort and general opu- 
lence, and it will run the pants off a 
ASOSLC”” Extravagant? Not for the 
Jaguar S-type. Drive it soon. 

For the name of the Jaguar dealer 
nearest you, call these numbers toll- 
free: (800) 447-4700, or, in [pamen] 


Illinois, (800) 322-4400 © 
lwara) 


BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS INC. 
LEONIA. NEW JERSEY 07605. 


PLAYBOY 


SWITCHING 


(continued from page 235) 


“A sad lot, I evaluated. The culls, the losers, the 
shucks. And there was I, sitting in their midst.” 


Rick's has been the city's most popular 
meat market for the past four months, 
and four months hence, it will no longer 
be in existence. That is the mutable way 
of things in Dallas, city of glass, Nauga- 
hyde, chrome and caste—a wide and 
shallow town reflecting exactly the men- 
tality of its inhabitants. 

I had drunk enough to be sure I was 
absolutely sober and to be lamenting the 
waste of money on hooch that failed to 
dissolve my crust of devilishly attractive 
bitterness, 1 tipped back the last of my 
Scotch and milk and asked Sam One for 
another before last call. When he told 
me that last call had already gone, 1 
opened my eyes wide and demanded to 
know why nobody had advised me of so 
significant an event. He sighed operati- 
cally and made up another, taking care 
to label it “а quick one.” 

I surveyed the bar with that dolefully 
sardonic expression I effect. Nothing but 
losers and drunks left at this hour. Two 
young business types sat arguing stupid- 
ly, dressed in that white belt and shoes, 
double-knit polyester uniform of Cen- 
tennial primaries common to their 
class—the clothes that make mid-Ameri- 
can businessmen look like ticket agents 
for minor airlines. Farther down, there 
were three single males staring at their 
glasses, not realizing that they had failed 
to make out for the simple reason that 
they were Darwinian rejects from the 
mating process—the kind who buy Chev- 
ettes. Near them was a vague man sip- 
ping on a drink full of foliage and 
smiling with his eyes. He obviously did 
best when the prey was stunned with 
alcohol and rejection. At the end of the 
bar was a drunk twit with an eyelash 
that had come unstuck at the corner. She 
was still waiting for а guy who had ex- 
cused himself to go to the men's room 
over an hour ago. And two stools down 
from me was a woman in her mid-30s, 
expensively dressed and a bit lusher than 
she wanted to be. She appeared a little 
embarrassed to be sitting there with 
nowhere else to go. 

A sad lot, I evaluated. The culls, the 
losers, the shucks. And there was I, sit- 
ting in their midst. Ironic. Ironic, 

An hour before, the bar had been full 
of action, with its clientele of young 
lawyers, mercantile types and secretaries; 
all playing it for less straight than Na- 
ture and the Protestant Deformation had 
designed them to be; all hunting for 
crotch in this pasteboard jungle of music, 


250 laughter, drinking, groping and single- 


entendre jokes followed by guffaws, not 
because the mots were bon but because 
the yakker wanted to prove she/he had 
got it and was—to that modest extent— 
with it. 

I had hooked an easy fish in the course 
of the evening, but I let her off the line, 
out of fatigue and boredom . . . and age. 
Age looms large with me. Lots of men 
have trouble with the arrival of male 
menopause, but with me it’s worse. I just 
cannot accept the idea of being 40. And 
that’s поса good thing, when you're 44. 

I downed my Scotch and pushed my- 
self off the stool as І signaled Sam One 
for my tab. 

“There you go, Mr. Lee. Thirteen- 
fifty.” 

“You took care of yourself, Sam?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Wonderful. I have it on excellent 
authority—one Virgil of woppish ethnic 
persuasion, who runs tours through the 
halls of Dis—that the most attractive fea- 
ture of hell's torment is that the service 
is compris,” 

Sam seemed to guess from my tone that 
this was supposed to be clever, so he 
made a slight effort toward a laugh but 
produced only a nasal sigh. 

But slight though it was, this sigh һай 
an astonishing effect—the lights went 
ovt. Rick's was plunged into total dark- 
ness. An instant later, the lights came 
back on and there was a crash of thunder 
that seemed to split the tarmac of the 
parking lot. All the drinkers were star- 
ted and frightened, so they laughed. 

I went to the window and looked out. 
A storm had broken over the city and 
hailstones the size of moth balls clattered 
onto the parking lot and bounced up to 
a height of three feet. The tinny rattle of 
the hail obliterated the sound of ds 
Time Goes By, now playing for its second 
and last time. 

The only warming of an incoming 
storm had been an odd greenish light at 
sunset, a kind of bathospheric afterglow. 
I had noticed it as I dropped into Rick's 
at 6:30 for one drink before going home. 

By the time other customers joined me 
at the window, the diagonal streaks of 
hail had stopped and a plump rain was 
falling, rapidly melting the hailstones 
almost before they stopped bouncing and 
rolling. 

“O mutability!” I muttered. 

“Oh, shit," muttered the woman at my 
side. She was the comfortable 30ish one I 
had noticed down the bar. 

“Let's hope it’s only rain," I said, 


“Should I have said, ‘Oh, piss?" 

“Metaphor more adroit, if not more 
tasteful.” 

One of the customers called back to 
Sam One, telling him that no Christian 
man would send people out in shit like 
this. 

“You see?" the woman said to me. "I 
was right after all.” 

As everyone drifted back to the bar, 
Sam Three was quick to explain that he 
couldn't sell any more drinks without 
risking his license. 

Fine, someone said. Don't sell us an- 
other round. Give us another round. 

And because most of us were regulars, 
Sam One shrugged and nodded to Sam 
‘Three, who, with cheerless fatalism, be- 
gan to make everyone another of the 
same. 

"I hope you realize,” I said as I took 
the barstool next to the 30ish woman, 
“that this yahoo's agrecing with you 
about the rain's being shit does not con- 
stitute proof. The vox populi is almost 
always the voice of ignorance. Hence, 
democracy is the least efficient thing since 
waxed toilet paper. In the case of this 
particular guy, he's notorious for his in- 
ability to distinguish shit from Shinola. 
It almost ruined his career as a meteor- 
ologist.” 

“He wouldn't make much of a shoe- 
shine boy, either.” 

“True. Except in west Texas, where a 
wedge of dung in the heel of the boot is 
a status symbol. I like you, madam. 
You've a nice sense of the ridiculous.” 

“Thank you. Whats that you're 
drinking?” 

“Scotch and milk.” 

She made a face. “Is it good?” 

“1 never viewed it as a moral issue.” 

“You don’t seem to think very highly 
of our fellow drinkers, stranded in 
Casablanca.” 

“Oh, they're all right in their way. Just 
a pack of fools who sit all night on bar- 
stools in the vain hope there's a vagrant 
relationship between romance and get- 
ting oneself laid. The type who believe 
you can find a million-dollar baby in a 
five-and-ten-cent bar." 

“Yeah, I know the type.” 

And the conversation lay there for a 
while, as we pushed ice around in our 
drinks. 

“What's your name?" she asked, with- 
out looking at me. 

"Marvin Lee. And yours?” 

“Martha Zinber; 

“You don’t look like a Martha.” 

“Fifteen years ago, I didn't look like a 
Martha . .. but I'm growing into it. 
Now, you—you really don't look like a 
Marvin." 

"Thank you. It's odd: Marvin Lee is a 
patently wimpy name, but Lee Marvin 

(continued on page 330) 


x AND OTHER ELECTRO WIC INDOOR ? SPORTS 


lo, the revolutionary 
new playboy machine 
leads all the rest 


Firebali, Bally's incred- 
ibly popular pinball 
game, now is available 
in an electronic home 
model that duplicates 
all the parlor machine's 
nifty features, $895. 


Cur ING HOME is the best 
revenge: revenge against 
slimy twerps who guard 
the doors of chichi dis- 
cos and make everyone 
who tries to get in feel 
like a worm; revenge 
against overpraised, over- 
Priced, overcrowded res 
taurants where only the 
regulars get the best seats 
and decent service; re- 
venge, finally 
spending your 
and energy cruising to 
find a good time. Ah, 
y , but how will 
1 be one of the hot crowd 
if all | am is at home? 
Hell, you can be at 


DON AZUMA 


home, saving energy and 
money, and the hot 
crowd will happily come 
over—but not if you 
just put out some drinks 
or smokes, because 
sooner or later someone 
will remember that 
there's a ball game on TV. 
Or a sci-fi flick. And all 
of you will find yourselves 
dumb-struck in front of 
the tube. 


3 Р Lam here to say from 
airchild's Channel F System Il video firsthand knowledge that 
Pntertainment center, $149.95, plays having a pinball machine 
asino Poker, Backgammon, Memory and/or video games in 
latch and other color/sound car- your home is a great way 
idges, $19.95 each, all available from to entertain. Pinball and 
һе Home Entertainment Emporium. video games are the 
latter-day equivalents of 
charades and other ace 
parlor games, but they 
have a special advantage 
if you own them, 

During these times 
when you are not enter 
taining (though you'll find 
all sorts of people casual- 
ly dropping by to play 
pinball), you can practice 
on your own. Better by 
far than sitting home 
watching The Creature 
from the Black Lagoon 
for the ninth time is sit- 
ting at home practicing 
one of the auto-racing 
games or finding out how 
to light the bonus 
bumpers on your pin- 
ball machine, 

Keep a record of your 
high score (the newer 
blackjack when it's not performing as a calculator; the electronic pinball games 
unit can double down, split pairs and even offer insur- will do it for you) and 
ance, from the Home Entertainment Emporium, $36.95. — impress the hell out of 
pcople who manage 
35,000 when you have 
clearly done 445,000. Sim- 
ilarly, home practice will 
give you the sure hands of 
an experienced video- 
game player, so that 
you can fling your tank 
around the screen while 
some fumble-finger is 
bumping into the e 
tronic walls and cursing 
as you blast him into 
fragme 

The nice thing about 
the newer pinball ma- 
chines is that they take full 
advantage of solid-state 


The Odyssey 2 Computer Video Game Meet Boris, a portable chess computer that not only clcctronics: Digital 
with a 49-position keyboard can be makes a worthy opponent, it also can flash you differ- Tc#douts have replaced 
used for beginner computer program- ent comments about the game and store the position ¢lectromechanical 
ming or video games, by Magnavox, of the pieces in its memory for days, by Chafitz, $399. (concluded on page 306) 
$179.95; cassettes are about $20 each. 


The amazing Apple 1! computer, a fully assembled, 
briefcase-sized model with a large memory bank and 
keyboard, can play games (or even draw pictures) 
using your TV screen for its readout display, $970. 


c 


254 


tho caso of tho 
missing jewel 

from the Persian Riyadh al-Hikayat, 
17th Century 


‘THIS STORY comes from the books of the 
wise men of India. A man owned a price- 
less jewel. He mounted it in a splendid 
сазе and set out to carry the box as an 
offering to the king. On the way, he fell 
in with [our men who joined him, as 
companions of the journey. Yet, when 
an opportunity presented itself, one of 
them managed to steal the gem, box and 
all. The man begged all four of them 
for its return. However, they all denied 
any knowledge of the theft. 

So he went to the king to tell his story. 
The king promptly had the four men 
brought to him for a hearing. No amount 
of questioning or threats would make 
them confes. This king had a very 
clever daughter, а girl wise beyond her 
years. She told her father, "Bring me 
these men and I shall reveal the thief.” 

They were accordingly marched be- 
fore her and she said to them, “You are 
men of many travels, and full of experi- 
ence and knowledge after having seen so 
much of the world. A ruler may profit 
by consulting with you. What I should 
like is to have you come to my court 
each day and tell me about your travels 
and the strange things you have known.” 

One day the princess said to them, “I 
have been looking at an ancient book 
and have come across something that 
puzzles me exceedingly. I wonder if you 
can resolve the riddle for me.” 

They replied, “What is it? Your high- 
ness shall command and we can but try.” 

The princess said, “I have read that 
once in Serendip there was a monarch 
who had a daughter, the like of whom 
the cyes of the world had yet to look 
upon, so very delicate and beautiful was 
she. One day, this girl was strolling in 
the garden with her maids, where she saw 
the first rose of the season glowing bright 
on its bush. She wished to have that 
rose and the gardener picked it for her. 
She said to the gardener, ‘You shall have 
whatever you may desire as your reward. 
Ask it!’ For it was the custom of the 
country that when the first flower or the 
first fruit of the season was brought to 
the royal person, the donor would re- 
ceive whatever he asked for. And that 
gardener blurted out, "I wish that on 
your wedding night you come frst to 
me—so that I may take the flower of your 
virginity before you go to your husband's 
couch.’ The princess, of course, agreed. 

“When she came to be married, she 
told her husband, ‘I have made a vow. 
Until I have fulfilled my word, I shall 
not give myself to you.’ The poor groom 
could do nothing about it but sigh and 
agree, She set out for the gardener's 
hovel alone. On the way, a ferocious 


Ribald Classic 


lion crouched in her path. She said to 
the lion, ‘I have made a promise to the 
gardener. Allow me to go to him to 
fulfill my word, after which I will return 
this way and you may devour me. The 
lion agreed. Farther along the road, a 
robber was dazzled to see her coming in 
her bridal gown and all scintillant with 
jewelry. So he blocked the way ahead 
and stretched forth his arm to strip her 
of her finery. She told him, ‘If you will 
wait here until I go and discharge my 
vow to the gardener, I promise you I 
shall come back and give you all my 
clothing and jewelry.’ He assented to her 
request. Finally, she arrived at the gar- 
dener's miserable hut, where she stood 
glowing at the door and said to him, 
“Here am I, come to pay my debt to you.’ 

“The gardener was struck dumb by the 
sight of her and said simply, “That day 
I spoke too hastily in my lust. I could 
never presume to touch you, let alone 
take you in such an act, Go back to your 
bridegroom intact.’ The princess retraced 
her steps to where the robber waited for 
her and told him what had happened 
between herself and the gardener. The 
robber spoke up then: ‘Well, if that 
gardener did such a chivalrous deed, how 
am I, a brave and free man, less than 
he? No, I shall let you keep your jewelry 
and wedding clothes!’ Then she proceed- 
ed till she came to where the hungry lion 
crouched and told the story to him, too. 
Upon which the beast rose, stood aside 
and let her go by safely. At last, she 
reached her husband, radiant and pure. 

"Now, my friends, I should like to 
hear from you which one of these four— 
the bridegroom, the lion, the robber or 
the gardener—was the most generous 
and honorable of all?” 

"The first man said, “The husband was 
by far the most chivalrous to have agreed. 
to such a thing at all." 

The second man said, “The gardener 
surely was more generous—since he de- 
nied himself a once-in-a-lifetime chance.” 

The third man said, “The robber was 
the generous one of that lot for having 
turned his back on all that wealth,” 

And the fourth said, “The lion was, 
in my opinion, by far the most generous: 
He abandoned his dinner." 

Whereupon the princess went to the 
king, her father, and said, "These four 
men are ruled by four different tempera- 
ments. The one who picked the gardener 
is governed by lust; keep him away from 
your women. The one who chose the 
lion is a glutton and unworthy to serve 
aking. The one who nominated the hus- 
band lacks any sense of honor—therefore, 
he, too, is unfit for the king’s company. 
“The fourth, he who picked the robber, is 
the thief. Wring the jewel from him!" 

— Translated by Jascha Kessler 
and Kuchik Ebdal [У] 255 


PLAYBOY 


[ХО ИЛО). ШОШ (continued from page 151) 


“At this moment, there are anthropologists in the 
Amazon jungle seeking telepathy-inducing vines.” 


make the haphazard drug dabblers of the 
Sixties look like kids toying with Chem- 
craft kits. 

Start with a familiar event such as a 
Saturday night and imagine how it could 
change through technological improve- 
ment. Bear in mind that every one of 
the fantasy highs mentioned below is 
based on current research. 

Some night 20 years from now, the 
partygoer will probably start his chem- 
ical tailoring before he dresses by splash- 
ing on a little conviviality cologne after 
his shower. It will be an ultimately cus- 
tomized product, based on his own body 
chemistry; the scent will induce a mild 
feeling of emotional receptivity in both 
him and his date, setting the stage for 
friendly relations later in the evening. 
The airborne aphrodisiacs will come 
later, though his date might mix a hor- 
mone stimulant into her scent right after 
elation sets in. 

Perhaps they'll share a joint of isomer- 
ized grass or an alcohol-substitute cocktail 
to kick off the festivities, but dosage 
levels won't seriously accelerate until din- 
ner, when the adventurous couple uy 
the new psychedelicatessen everybody is 
raving about, Their entire meal will 
consist of a single section of orange, 
transformed into a universe of novel 
sensations by psychochemical additives 
Sense enhancers will magnify powers of 
taste and smell; hedonistic psychedelics 
will transmute the morsel of citrus into 
a culinary pharmacy. After-dinner anti- 
dotes will be served with the mints. 

From a present point of view, this 
already looks like one very stoned night, 
but assume for the sake of the scenario 
that the couple want further entertain- 
ment after their mind-embellishing din- 
ing experience. The entertainment world 
will offer an array of awareness-elevating 
choices. There will be shortspan audi- 
tory-appreciation inhalers for involuted 
music listening—listeners will smell the 
instrumentals and taste the lyrics. Per- 
former and audience alike will be dosed 
for live concerts and records will come 
with optional drug packets. Mood cleva- 
tors and equilibrium modifiers will 
amplify dancing enjoyment. Hallucina- 
tors and optical intensifiers will be dis- 
pensed according to the stage directions 
of the holoplay or retinal drama. The 
artists will furnish their patrons with 
aesthetic pharmaceuticals at gallery 
openings, poetry readings, dance recitals. 

Should the daring duo include а party 


256 in their activities, they'll find that a good 


mix applies to highs as well аз to people. 
Drinkers will sip safe aicohol analogs, 
artists will have nontoxic creativity 
stimulants, everybody will partake of the 
empathy incense, the sensualists will 
spice it up with neocoke and the utterly 
decadent will take superopiates or old- 
fashioned gin. Even today, а party con- 
sists of people getting high together. 
Whether the intoxicant of choice is alco- 
hol, grass, prayer, dancing or massage, 
the principle is the same: A good party 
begins when people relax their inhibi- 
tions, usually through artificial means. 
As revelers leave the party of the future, 
their host will have an antidote ready 
for them at the door so they can travel 
home safely sober. 

Maybe the high fliers of the future 
will decide to take a rain check on the 
psychedelic, postpone the party and con- 
fine the entertainment to an intimate 
evening at home. Back at their apart- 
ment, getting in an amorous mood could 
be a matter of mixing the right sensual 
stimulant with the correct atmospheric 
aphrodisiac. Mood technology won't stop 
at the bedroom door: Tactile enhancers 
could intensify the slightest caress and 
subjective-time expanders might extend 
a brief embrace for hours, prolong or- 
gasm as long аз they can stand it. If the 
experience is purely sensual, the high 
will focus on strictly carnal sensations 
but if it feels like love, the couple could 
break a cosmic significance popper at 
the crucial moment and synchronize 
their brain hormones, alpha waves or 
whatever. Another drug will divert in- 
cipient hangovers into pleasant dreams. 

Some scientist may be risking Ше, limb 
and brain damage just to bring you a 
better way to get high. At this moment, 
there arc anthropologists in the Amazon 
jungle seeking telepathy-inducing vines 
and chemists in New Jersey hallucinating 
the shape of their next molecular eu- 
phoriant. Laser physicists are teaching 
astral travel in Palo Alto, psychologists 
are floating in tanks of salt water and 
therapists are swinging through the air 
in canvas bags. Every branch of science is 
getting into the intoxication race. 

The more sensational protagonists of 
the psychedelic era—the Learys and the 
Keseys, the alchemists and the occult- 
ists—long ago left the orbit of orthodox 
science, But the study of consciousness 
expansion has remained very much alive. 
The innerspace experts of 1978 are a 
lowkey crowd, wary of publicity, but 
there does exist a network of turned-on 


scientists, all exploring different paths to 
higher planes. 

Somewhere in America dwells a quiet 
man who is the very image of the emi- 
~ent scientist. He is respected in his 
field, but due to the taboos surrounding 
his specialty, he wishes to remain anony 
mous. Dr. G. synthesizes substances that 
have never before existed on this planct, 
mind benders of such complexity that an 
evolved consciousness is required to even 
imagine their structures. 

Dr. G. was making new psychedelic 
drugs decades ago, when everyone 
thought LSD was a landing craft. It is Dr 
G.'s custom to ingest his compounds and 
commune with the geometry of his al 
tered states, sometimes to find harbingers 
of his next creation in the pattern of his 
hallucinations. Bizarre as it may seem, 
there is historical precedent for halluci- 
natory theorizing: The science of organic 
chemistry was born when a chemist 
named Friedrich Kekule von Stradonitz 
took opium during а train ride, dreamed 
of a snake swallowing its tail and awoke 
to draw the first structural diagram of 
the benzene ring. 

Dr. G. is independent—responsible to 
no single university, pharmaceutical firm 
or Government agency—and thoroughly 
respectable in the eyes of the law and 
the opinion of the scientific community. 
He defends his self-dosage procedures as 
the epitome of informed consent. 

~“Mood-changing drugs can be organ- 
ized into chemical families," he says, 
“each with its own qualitative aura, The 
psychological effect of any drug, includ- 
ing the sense of being high, can be 
changed by systematically altering its 
chemical arrangement, A carbon atom 
here, a free electron there, and you have 
the difference between insight and an: 
ety. Some drugs induce fear or thirst, 
others evoke pleasure or awe. I look for 
those connections between chemistry and 
consciousness. 

“Most of the drugs we use today can 
be produced artificially. Many of the 
drugs we create in laboratories are ana- 
logs, or reconstructions of compounds 
that exist in nature; other creations never 
existed until they were synthesized.” 

Dr. G. is in touch with the post-Casta- 
neda generation of anthropologists, who 
have turned up a psychoactive cornu- 
copia of ritual substances: “The potions 
of Native American shamans contain a 
handful of powerful drugs that have only 
recently been studied under laboratory 
conditions. There are so many active 
compounds in each of those snuffs and 
infusions that it may take years to study 
them one at a time. We already have a 
few highly specific derivatives of natural 
compounds. Right now, we have drugs 
that are primarily visual, or auditory, or 
conceptual . . . but there are generally 

(continued on page 294) 


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PLAYBOY 


262 | 


expected her to happen, not even the TV 
moguls. They thought that, of the Angels, 
Kate Jackson or Jaclyn Smith had a bet- 
ter shot to bang the public gong. Farrah 
was a knockout, true, but Christ—that 
hair, smile and glow of health belonged 
in a hot tub, not a boudoir. Sex symbols? 
Raquel Welch was a sex symbol; Farrah 
Fawcett was a glass of milk. 
Said the public: "Make mine milk." 


Farrah epitomized the shift in our 
social perception of sex, from lurid /sul- 
try to scrubbed /healthy. She was both 
erotic and wholesome, like 2 blow job in 
Yosemite. The Raquels could put you in 
traction; Farrah could put you in a 
trance. She was a blend of fucking and 
jogging, and the first mass visual symbol 
of postneurotic fresh-air sexuality. 

American men were leaving the meat 


bars and singles scenes for the sauna and 
tennis court, and she is who they wanted 
to take along. She wasn't Frederick's high 
heels but Adidas’ sneakers; not a jaded, 
unapproachable prick-tease but a cheer- 
ful, unpretentious adolescent fantasy 

reincarnate: the ultimate cheerleader. 
Sure, this was all illusion; but, in a 
media culture, what isn't? Who she was 
(concluded on page 270) 


A Mini-Interview with Farrah Fawcett-Majors 


PLAYBOY: Do you get along better 
with men or with women? 

FARRAH: I think that, like most 
women, I've had my problems being 
readily accepted by women. But 
once I do make fricnds with a wom- 
an, she is a much better friend than 
a man would be. 

pLavnoy: In what way? 

FARRAH: I think that I express deep- 
er things with women. I have girl- 
friends and we may discuss men, but 
there aren't any men friends with 
whom I discuss men. With girl- 
friends, I play tennis with them, 
then we have lunch, then we go to 
the sauna and we talk about this 
and that, different things. With 
men, it's usually business or love. 


. 
PLAYBOY: What kind of moments 
have made you the happiest? 
FARRAH: Oh, all different kinds— 
when I got married to Lee, when 
I graduated from high school. When 
I got my first commercial, I was ex- 
tremely happy. When I made my 
first backhand, topspin tennis shot, 
1 was extremely happy. 
PLAYBOY: Are there sensuous things 
that make you happy? 
FARRAH: Lee makes me very happy. 
Lee made me very happy today 
when he brought me flowers, That 
was very special, and special things 
make me happy. Birthdays make me 
very happy for some strange reason. 
I think it's because I get lots of gifts, 
and cverybody feels it's a special day 
and so they treat me special. 

. 
rLAYBOY: What's your greatest fear? 
Farran: Cavities. I hate going to 
the dentist. 
»LAYBov: How often do you go? 
FARRAH: Every four to five months 
10 have my teeth cleaned; and I 
pray that there will not be a cavity. 
PLAYBOY: Are your teeth real? 
FARRAH: Yes. All of them. 
PLAYBOY: Did you have orthodonti 
or did they just come out right? 
FARRAH: I had these teeth when I 
was eight years old. I had a little 


head and large teeth. I think that 
looked very strange. [Laughs] 
PLAYBOY: When you came to Holly- 
wood, did you ever have to deal 
with the casting couch? 

FARRAH: Not really. I mean, there 
were a couple of times when I was 
up for a commercial—and, of 
course, clients would ask me out for 
dinner. And I knew that if I didn't 
go, I probably wouldn't get the 
commercial. I resented that terribly. 
Then I met Lee two weeks after I 
came to Hollywood, so I was very 
secure in that I had a boyfriend 
right away. 


. 
PLAYBOY: How do you think Lee 
would change you? 
FARRAH: Number one, I think he 
would make me be on time. That 
would be the numba-onc thing. 
Number two would be to have me 
go to sleep as early as he does. You 
see, he's had a series for so much 
longer than I have, and I'm kind of 
a night person. In other words, I 
used to like to stay up till 12, one, 
two, but he would always go to bed 
at ten; he has to be up at 5:30 every 
morning. And J think that he al- 
ways, naturally, wants me in bed 
with him, and that’s OK with me. 
But he would probably love it if I 
didn't have the light on to read. 

° 
rrAYBOY: Do you support any social 
causes? Arc you involved in any en- 
vironmentalaction projects, for ex- 
ample? 
FARRAH: Unfortunately, I don't have 
too much time to be really involved. 
I may think about it and I may not 
want to litter, so 1 won't throw 
down a wrapper. Or maybe on the 
beach, I'll walk over and Ill pick 
up my things, even though it's a 
bummer. 1 do that a lot. 

. 
pravsov: Does pornography offend 
you? 
FARRAH: Yes and no. The only true 
pornographic film I've seen is Deep 
Throat, and I wanted to see that be- 
cause I wanted to know what all the 


fuss was about. And І found that it 
took all the beauty out of lovemak- 
ing, and out of sex. So I did not 
submit myself to that any further. 
. 

rLAYBoY: Describe your happiest 
adolescent experience. 
FARRAH: All my thoughts go back to 
high school. When I was a sopho- 
more, for instance, I was out for the 
most beautiful student, or some- 
thing, and I remember that being a 
very painful experience—the voting 
and the waiting. I could never run 
for a political office; it would make 
me too nervous. I remember sitting 
there thinking, 1 don't really care if 
1 get it, although it would be nice; 
but, дее, I don't want people to feel 
sorry for me if I don't. I went 
through such emotions in that two- 
week period! And when I finally 
won—well, obviously, I was very ex- 
cited and didn't expect it. 

А 


эт.лүвоү: Do you embarrass easily? 
FARRAH: I think so. 
PLAYBOY: What kinds of things em- 
barrass you? 
FARRAH: When I say something real- 
ly, obviously stupid. It took me a 
long time to get up enough courage 
to say to people, "I'm sorry, what 
was your name?" when I was intro- 
duced, instead of just going, "Hello, 
hello." I remember the first time I 
did this. Lee and I were at a po- 
litical dinner and Lec had intro- 
duced me to someone, and I said, 
"I'm sorry, I didn't get your name.” 
It happened to be Governor Brown. 
What a time for me to start saying 
“I'm sorry, what is . . ." and trying 
to be very cool. 
PLAYBOY: Has that happened to 
you—someone not recognizing you? 
FARRAH: Yes, and when it does hap- 
pen to me, I feel so sorry for the 
people. Somebody won't look up 
from their desk and I'll say, "I'm 
here to see so-and-so. Is he in пом?” 
They'll say, “What is your name?" 
And then I go, "Ahhh. . . .” It hap- 
pens so rarely now. 

INTERVIEW BY JULES SIEGEL. 


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THE ROUSING 
RETURN OF ROMANCE 


a lovers’ guide to weekend trysts, glorious sunsets, perfect gifts and the foreplay before the foreplay 


THE SIGNS are everywhere. Men and women are wearing 
softer colors and dressing иф. On the beaches, couples walk 
hand in hand. In sidewalk cafés, they sip Perrier or white 
wine. Candlelight is replacing electricity in some restau- 
rants. On the screen, Warren Beatty stares into the eyes of 


Julie Christie. Even Niagara Falls is catching on again. So 
step aside, cynics, romance is back. No more Mr. Wise Guy. 
Every day is Valentine's Day. Are you getting the drift? ` 
Here's a trend that should appeal to everyone. In case you've 
been out of touch, we offer this guide to the best of romance. 


THREE ROMANTIC CITIES 


Ta millions of lovers, New York isn't mug- 
gers, it's romance, from a hansom-cab 
tide at dusk through Centrol Park to din- 
ner reservations at Windows on the 
World, Elegant hotels (Carlyle, Regency, 
Ploza) offer accommodations in which 
romance can flower. For the right atmos- 
phere and food: Lutéce, Café des Ar- 
fistes, Tavern on the Green and Nanni; 
They're expensive. There are bistros in 
Greenwich Village that offer atmosphere 
without steep prices, Grotta Azzurra and 
Vie Margutta, for example. For winning 
wining: The Café Bar (Sherry Netherland 
Hotel), the lounge in the Algonquin Hotel 
and, the best spot, the Cofé Carlyle, where 
Bobby Short dispenses Porter, Gersh- 
win, Coward and Sondheim for lovers, 


San Francisco sits in the sun, by the bay, 
and shimmers. Two hotels on Nab Hill, 
Stanford Court and the Huntington, offer 
spectacular views ond attentive service. 
The best food is Italian: Julius Castle, 


The Mandarin (Ghirardelli Square, ond 
try for a view); ond from the sea: get а 
booth at Todich, the city’s oldest restau- 
rant. For trysts over drinks: MacArthur 
Park (there's an aviary filled with exotic 
birds), the bar at L'Etoile (їп the Hunting- 
fon), the lower bar at the Mark Hopkins 
Hotel and the bar at Julius Castle. Other 
romantic spots: the Japonese Tea Garden 
in Golden Gate Park, the ferry to Sausa- 
lito for brunch or a cable car (of course). 


We 2 


New Orleans is, well, unique. The am- 
bience is French, Spanish and Creole. 
The French Quarter streets оге cobble- 
stone, the architecture is European and 
the food is superb. Hotels: The Royal 
Orleans is grand and the Maison de 
Ville is perfect, о persion with original 
antique furnishings in each raom and a 
Private patio for the guests. Restouronts 
are the reason (aside from jazz) to go: 
Elmwood Plantation (oldest in the Missis- 
sippi Volley), Commander's Polace, Le- 
Ruth's, breakfast at Brennan's, Do your 
drinking while drinking in the music in 
‘one of the dark, smoky clubs; and near 
dawn (the city never sleeps), go for rich 
chicory café au lait and beignets (French 
doughnuts) served at the Morning Call. 


Give a Little 
Romontic presents to make her think 
of you: 1. а leother-bound volume of 
her favorite poetry; 2. antique jewelry; 
3. lacy, silky lingerie; 4. a music box; 
5. Godiva chocolates; 6. a crystol bud 
жозе; 7. Bobby Short singing Cole Por- 
ter, or Fronk Sinatra singing enything; 
B. thin gold chains for her neck, wrist 
ог ankle; 9. pâté with truffles; 10. box 
seats for the next series of Juilliard 
Qvariet recitals. There are other ways 
to say you care that will add some spice 
ta the sugar: 1. the collected poems of 
Dorothy Parker; 2. a day at Elizabeth 
Arden; 3. tap-dancing lessons; 4. а 
gourmet picnic lunch; ar 5. 

twa tickets ta a Ralling Stones A; 
cancert. If yau‘re short of mon- 

ey, coak her dinner, The 

thaught still counts, 


a= 


Dancing in the Dark 
Astaire and Rogers dancing to- 
gether epitomized ramance and, 
according ta a spakesman far the 
Fred Astaire Dance Studio, busi- 
ness has quadrupled this year. 

Tea dances have made с comeback 
їп bath New York and San Fron- 
cisco and hotel ballraams are busy 
again. It’s de-lovely. 


HOW DO YOU 

SPELL ROMANCET 

2 - Erica Jong: Jon [writer 
CQ кы. alway: dong 
T 3 гота! fhings. For ту 

last birthdoy, he gave me 

a silver medallion that 

says BRAVADO; that’s to 
remind me not to let the 

bastards get me down. 


Sidney Sheldon: When- 
ever my wife and | are in 
Paris an her birthday, 1 
ри a personal in the 
International Herald-Trib- 
une and give her the 
paper with breakfast. Ro- 
mance makes sex work. 


Helen Gurley Brown: 
As for as I'm concerned, 
romance isn't back, it 
never left town. Far the 
past ten years, David 
Ipraducer Brown] hes 
taken me to Cannes. That 
is ramantic and sexy. 


George Benson: Most of 
2 Us аге romantic, it just 
tokes the right people, 
right moad, right environ- 
ment. Hawaii swept me 
off my feet and sa did the 
lyrics ta Paul Williams! 
We've Only Just Begun. 


Melissa Manchester: 
The lyrics ta As Time 
Goes By: “Ws still the 
same ald story / A fight 
far love and glory, a cose 
of da ar die / The world 
will always welcome lov- 
ers / As time goes by.“ 


©пе Perfect Limousine 

Romance her on wheels for $18-$25 an hour 
in most large cities. Many services have a two- 
hour minimum. In New York, Dav-El rents its 
basic Lincaln with bar, maon гоо, sterea and 
smoked glass far $22 an hour; o Ralls in Atlan- 
ta is $25 per hour. Don't forget ta tip the driver. 


WAS IT 
SOME THING 
I SAID? 


The right words: Quoting 
poetry still gets good results, 
from the appropriate Shake- 
speare sonnets to almost any- 
thing by Elizabeth Barrett 
Browning. Check Bartlett's un- 
der eyes, lips, love and hearts 
desire. If you're daring, try 
reciting your own poetry. Origi- 
nolity could make up for a 
shaky delivery. Be subtle. Also 


The wrong words: It has ta be 
the right poetry. “Chicago, hog 
butcher for the world" won't 
do. Steer clear of the moderns 
(there are exceptions, of course, 
but mest are too oblique to get 
your message across). If you 
write your own, don't start with 
“Roses ore red, violets are 
blue.” That can only lead to 
trouble. Don't kvetch. “Му wife 
doesn't understond me" won't. 
get you any sympathy. Don't 
work ир a line, don’t be graph- 
ic about what you hope will 
happen later. Don't ever say, 


be repetitious. Tell her she's you hear the one about 
beautiful. Then tell her again. Tell her you never felt this way the traveling salesman ond the farmer's daughter?” Don't give play- 
before ond mean it. Take your time. Nothing is quite as seductive by-play descriptions of all your favorite sporting events or tell her 
аз conversation. Tell her about yourself, then actually listen when the plots of movies. Other words to avoid at oll costs: “I have a 
she tells you obout herself. Be witty; laughter is seductive, too. Be daughter just about your age,” “Are you sure you need des- 
wise. Remember that words are the mast potent kind of foreplay. — sert," “What's your sign?" and, the worst one, “Did you come?” 


WU — | анинин 
Violets for Her Durrs t 


One flower is romai апа 


зо are extrovagant bunches. ' 
But sending the wrong flow- / 
ers courts disaster. INE at A 
Flowers to send: 
Violets 
Gardenias 
Tea roses 
Tulips 
Daffodils 
Flowers not to send: 
Gladiolas 
Chrysanthemums 
Hothouse roses (wilt at 
the top of the stem) 


274 
a 
Of All the Gin Joints in АП the Towns 
їп All the World, She Walks into Mine 
We took an informal poll and Cosablanca won 


hands down as the most romantic movie of all 
time. Rhett and Scarlett came in a strong second. 


Red Sails in 

the Sunset. 
Romance courtesy of 
Mother Nature? Try the 
beaches at Carmel, 
California; Cabo San 

| Lucas, Baja California; 
| Nantucket Island, 
Massachusetts; Sanibel 
Island, Florida. 

The best man-made 
spot: Manhattan's 
Windows on the World. 


Tinseltown Romance 
Since Clara Bow, movie stars have 
been romantic images to their pub- 


lic end Hollywood folk such as Jill The Joy of Touch ч ы 
Clayburgh А Pacino; Julie Christie, Massage is a sensuous, romantic pleasure. You'll need some creams and cils: Chanel 
Депо BE Dea Coin, No. 5 Lotion, Neutragena Body Ой, Nivec Creme Lotion, Jhirmack Avacoda Oil, 
Warren Beatty, Jennifer O'Neill, Ryan Caswell Massey Pure Wheat Germ Oil, and two strong hand: 


O'Neal, John Travolta and Burt Reyn- 
olds are doing their damnedest to 
keep the tradition alive. Thanks, folks. 


Romance Her 
at Home 

Ta put you in this 
picture the morning 
after the Saturday 
night before, we sug- 
gest the following 
accessories: 1. Silk 
pajamas by Jackie 
Rogers; 2. a Neiman- 
Marcus breakfast 
tray; 3. o Tiffany bud 
vose (with ane fresh 
bloom); 4. Baccarat 
flute champagne 
glasses; and 5. Wam- 
sutta Elegance 
Supercole sheets. 
Add the Sunday 
papers and 


PLAYBOY 


270 


FARRAH 


(continued from page 262) 
didn't matter; what she represented did. 
She was ours, and she was the original, 
and the Fawcett-Minors who followed 
were mere attempts at capitalizing on 
what we, through her, had created. You 
can put a girl in gym clothes or a wet T- 
shirt on the cover of every magazine in 
the world, but you cannot put her into 
our fantasies. All you can do is purge the 
one already there. 

And that is what the hype barons of 
the celebrity industry attempted to do, 
during that year-plus when Farrah was 
absent from the tube. From Bisset’s wet 
look to Travolta’s disco pose to Tiegs's 
pink bikini, the name of the game was: 
Find the next Farrah. Or, failing that, 
create the next Farrah. But the punch 
line to that joke was that only we can 


create a Farrah; the media can merely 
сопсос! imitations. 

"Those of us on the receiving end of 
mass-culture control damn few things, 
but fame can be one of them. It is ours 
to give, at least to amy substantive extent, 
and we resent those who would seize this 
power through use of the siege cannon of 
publicity. And we prefer to bestow it, 
not on overnight icons jerry-built by 
media manipulators but оп slecpers, dark 
horses, funky no-names with the promise 
of infinite surprise. Roots, not Washing- 
lon: Behind Closed Doors. George Wal- 
lace, not Nelson Rockefeller. Star Wars, 
not The Great Gatsby. 

We enjoy taking such individuals, iso- 
lated and unadored, and making them 
monumental; striking guerrillalike at the 
manipulators in a demonstration that we 
still decide who's really who and who 
really isn't. Farrah embodied the princi- 


ple that we set the trends; that the star 
makers only incline, they do not compel. 

And the whole wave of next Farrahs 
and new Farrahs eventually ran aground 
on the rugged fact that the “old” Farrah 
was still very much with us, in scrubbed / 
healthy, erotic/wholesome spirit, if not 
in weekly, televised actuality. She wisely 
took a year away from the public eye, to 
destrain it, to keep Farrah novelties from 
eradicating forever the novelty of Farrah; 
and so now the name of her game is the 
Big Comeback. 

She is back on Charlie's Angels and 
back in Somebody Killed Her Husband, 
and there аге more Angel episodes and 
more high-ballyhoo films to come soon 
(indeed, film number two, The Bind, is 
just now wrapping up). So now we'll get 
the chance we've been waiting three 
years for—the chance to see what 
Farrah's really made of. Ba 


PLAYBOY: 
Farrah? 
RON GALELLA: Well, yes—all the 
press has. The more we write about 
and photograph any personality, 
the more we magnify her in the 
public's eye. But there has to be in- 
terest to begin with, The same thing 
with Jackie Kennedy—there was 


Did you help create 


A Few Well-Chosen Words About Farrah 


with their watching TV. And how 
many movies could she make a 
year? You see the difference? Like, 
every week she's on Charlie's Angels 
and she'll only make a movie once 
a year. So I think she has definitely 
gone downhill since she left that 
network show. 


genuine interest and curiosity about 
her among the public. 

рглүвоү: How do you compare the 
two women? 

GALELLA: Well, they're different, ac- 
tually. Jackie doesn’t have to do 
much to be a newsmaker, whereas 
Farrah has to work at it. One thing 
they do have in common is that 
they both smile in public. Jackie 
doesn't have to say anything or do 
anything but make an appearance 
and she gets attention. 

PLAYBOY: Has the market for Farrah 
photos dropped off? 

GALELLA: Not really. In fact, it's go- 
ing to go up more, because she has 
gone back to do those Angels epi- 
sodes. So she will be in the limelight 
again for a while. But I think that, 
by doing movies, it's going to be 
more difficult for her to remain so 
popular. I think she will go down- 
hill. In fact, I think that she has 
gone downhill since she left the 
show. She has dropped because she 
doesn't have the tremendous expo- 
sure of a network show. A lot of 
people watch a hot show like 
Charlie's Angels and that exposure 
gives these girls a lot of power; and 
when Farrah left, she lost that. And 
a movie actress doesn’t get that 
power. People go to the movies less 
nowadays; it's nothing compared 


rLAYDov: Tow did your interest in 

Farrah get started? 

CARY crom: When my friend 

showed me a picture of her, and I 

just loved it. 

PLAYBOY: Did your friend give you 

the picture he showed you? 

GROTH: Yeah. 

PLAYBOY: And how many pictures 

of her do you have now? 

GROTH: About 1000. 

PLAYBOY: What do you like about 

her? 

GROTH: I just love her; she's gor- 

geous. 

PLAYBOY: Was there anyone you 

loved as much before her? 

скотн: No. 

PLAYBOY: She's the first one? 

GROTH: Uh-huh. 

PLAYBOY: Do you like any of the 

other Angels as much as Farrah? 

скотн: No. 

PLAYBOY: She's the one? 

GROTH: Yeah, I like blondes. 

PLAYBOY: Have you written her any 

fan letters? 

GROTH: I wrote her once about a 

year ago and never got an answer. 

PLAYBOY: And you still love her? 

GrorH: I'm in her fan club and 

everything. 

—Gary Овотн, 14-year-old world- 

champion collector of Tarrah 
memorabilia, Saugus, California 


I created the Farrah look right 
after she finished Myra Breckin- 
ridge. When I first started doing 
Farrah, she was a one-length pastel 
blonde. We worked out the style, 
and this took a good long time. I 
felt that it was a fantastic look and 
that it would sell, because it’s the 
only type of hair style that you can 
wear long; yet irs layered and it 
looks sexy and it moves and it makes 
the face look good. 

—HUCH york, Farrah's honest- 
to-God original hairdresser 


There is an evenness about her 
tan and also her life. 
— Farrah, by PATRICIA BURSTEIN 


Think about how America is in 
search of not a sex symbol but a 
real first lady—really looking for 
somcone who can speak to the young 
women, speak to the youngsters 
coming up. What a Farrah Fawcett 
could do to aid the world if she 
decided to! —DICK GREGORY 


She has all the old-fashioned glam- 
or qualities, but she lives in another 
ега... . What made the glamorous 
personalities of that earlier period in 
Hollywood was a great compilation 
of big brains, big entertainment and 
big attention to detail by the stu- 
dios. I don’t think there’s anybody 
alive today who would know how to 
make a star. 

Jf Farrah had lived back in those 
glamor days—the days of L. B. 
Mayer and Sam Goldwyn—hell, 
she'd have been the biggest star in 
captivity. No question about it. 
They would have made her so. 

— GEORGE HURRELL, longtime Holly- 
wood glamor photographer 


“Ballantine's. 


THERE ARE some downers vou can alw count on—such as 

death, taxes and the fact that the Lawrence Welk show is 

syndicated in perpetuity. On the other hand, there 

of good things th 

movies, Vladimir Horowitz concerts and the Playboy 

Poll. The poll has been around for over two decade 
ets more prestigious with each passing year. So here, once 


ck of the ballot. Two fi 


L 


ien. The names that accompany the ballot 
you are not bound to vote for 
alot — favorites aren't listed, just enter the 
c ongoing—such as Woody Allen provided. But, pleas 
Music — listed, use the number next to his or her nı 
dit — forget to fill in the Hall of Fame 


cast your ballot 
for your jazz, 
rhythm-and-blues, 
1 pop/rock and 
country-and- 
Western favorites 


there a 
of them. I your 
names in the spaces 


if you are voting for someone who is 


me. And don't 


nd Best LP categories on 


ts: Only 


important. poi 


again, is your opportunity to join in the annual fun and, not — official ballots count and they must be postmarked belore 


so incidentally, help the 


PHOTOGRAPHY БҮ JAN COBB 


se of your main music men and midnight, December 1, 1978. Now, get out there 


and vote! 


LIST YOUR CHOICES IN THE 1979 PLAYBOY MUSIC POLL 
ON THE ACCOMPANYING BALLOT 


POP/ROCK 17. селш 
E 
Mote Vocati 8 Anderen. 


Robin Trower Bonolf 
Miami Steve Van Zandt 3 
Waddy Wachtel 
Joe Wakh 


nk Zappa 


Keyboords 


. Gregg Allman 


Paul Simon 

Pati Smith. 
Springsteen, 

t Stevens 

ie Taupin 

2. James Taylor 


#7. Warren Zevon 


7. Bill P 
18. Billy Preston 
1%. Todd Rundgren 


Group 


1. Abba 
2 2 Aerosmith 
33. Са Stevens " 3. ving Rhythm Aces 
1 Stewart Neil Young 4 
& 
т 
Deom в. 
9: Eagles 
. Ginger Baker 10. Electric Light Orchestra 


Jobe Ronham 
. hill Bruford 
- Jim Capaldi 


11. Fleetwood Mac 
. Foghat 


Ki 
Led Zeppeli 

Steve Miller Band 
Pink Floyd 


Wings 
Yes 


RHYTHM-AND-BLUES 
Mole Vocalist 


ире Benson 
Bland 
James Brown 
; Кау Charles 

5. Bootsy Collins 
Billy Davis, Jr. 
[ 


Jatt 


Hathaway 


i 
2. Chuck 
3 : me yes 
з 11. Greg Lake 12. B- B. King. 
s hil Lesh 13. Bob Marley 
1 McCartney у Mathis 


Mayfield 


Ke 
11. Robbie Roberson 
15. Carlos Santana 
16. Dez Scaggs [3 


Willie Weeks 
Bill Wyman 


CUT ALONG THIS LINE 


BALLOT 


Put down the NUMBERS of listed candidates you 
choose. To vote for a person not appearing on our 
list, write in full name; only one in each category. 


POP/ROCK 


MALE VOCALIST 
FEMALE VOCALIST 
GUITAR 
KEYBOARDS 
DRUMS 

BASS 

COMPOSER 
GROUP 


RHYTHIm-RND - BLUES 


MALE VOCALIST 
FEMALE VOCALIST 
COMPOSER 
GROUP 


MALE VOCALIST 
FEMALE VOCALIST 
BRASS 
WOODWINDS 
KEYBOARDS 
VIBES 

GUITAR 

BASS 
PERCUSSION 
COMPOSER 
GROUP 


GOUNTRY-RND- WESTERN 


MALE VOCALIST 
FEMALE VOCALIST 
PICKER 
COMPOSER 


THE LIST OF NAMES ACCOMPANYING THIS 
BALLOT IS INTENDED ONLY AS A GUIDE TO 
HELP YOU WITH YOUR CHOICES. 


Female Vocolist 


matrading 
Cale 


. Thelma Houston, 
Millie Jackson 
Chaka Khan 


. Diana Ros 
Phocbe Snow 


Thom Hell 


James Brown 
Nobby Eli 


© 
E 
io 
FE uk wi 
18. dll Withers 
[5] abby Мота: 
j E Stevie Wonder 


Group 


1. Average White Band. 
2. Commodores 
А 
4 


CUT ALONG THIS LINE 


PLAYBOY'S RECORDS OF THE YEAR 
BEST RHYTHM-AND-BLUES LP 
BEST COUNTRY-AND-WESTERN LP 


BEST POP/ROCK LP 
BEST JAZZ LP. 


- Ohio Players 
O'Jays 

Varliament/Fu 
ишег Sisters 
Rufus 

Sly & the Family Stone 
Spinne 


Wonderlave 


Name and address must be printed here to authenticate ballot. 


azz 
Mele Vocalist 


State. 
Playboy Music Poll, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michigan Avenue, Chicago, 


gible. Artists previously elected (Duane Allman, Herb 
Alpert, Louis Armstrong, Count Basie, Dave Brubeck, 
Presley, Linda Ronstadt, Frank Sinatra, Ringo Starr, 


McCartney, Wes Montgomery, Jim Morrison, Elvis 
Stevie Wonder) are not eligible. 


Instrumentalists and vocalists, living or dead, are eli- 
Ray Charles, Eric Clapton, John Coltrane, Miles Davis, 
Bob Dylan, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Benny 
Goodman, George Harrison, Jimi Hendrix, Mick Jag- 
ger, Elton John, Janis Joplin, John Lennon, Раш! 


PLAYBOY HALL OF FAME 


City. 
(Mail to: 


Milton Nascimento 
- Lou Rawls 


Gil Scott-Heron 
Frank 
Grady Tate 

Leon Thomas 
Mel 


Female Vocalist 


1. Pearl Bailey 
2. Shirley Bassey 
3. Dee Dec Bridgewater 
1. Bey Caner 

э. Urszula Dudriak 

б. Ella Fitzgerald 


Odena 
Esther Phillips 
Flora Purim 
Della Reese 
Esther Satterfield 
. Phoebe Snow 
‘bra Streisand 


Brass 


1. Nar Adderley 
э Herb Alpert 
3. Chet Baker 
1. Randy Brecker 
5 па Byrd 

iex Davis 

7. Jon Faddis 

в. Ап Farmer 

9. Maynard Fergus 


. Wayne Henderso 


0. 
П 

2. Ab Grey 
З 

1. Fre 


7. Chuck М 
18. Blue Mit 
ү. James Pankow 

Doc Severinsen 


Walker 
Bill warms 


Woodwinds 
1. Joe Farrell 
Stan Getz 


Benny Goo 


в. Vusef Lateef 
9. Huben Laws 
10. Ren 
IL. Herbie 
12. Gerry M 


14. Roy Ravenseratt 
5. Sam Rivers 


Grover W Jr. 
Edgar Wint 
Chris Woods 
Keyboards 
1 brams 
2 


4. Chick Corea 
5. Eumir Deodato 
©. George Duke 

7. Bill Eva 
Jan Ната 


15. Ramsey Lewis 
j. Les MCC 
in MePartlan 
Mendes 
‘Thelonious Monk 
Oscar Peterson 


McCoy Tyner 
^. Mary Lou Williams 
ЗЯ. Joe Zawinul 


Buddy Montgomery 
Red Norvo 
Emil Richards 
Cal Tjader 
Keith Underwood 
y Vig 


2 Jol 
3. George Benson. 
3. Kenny Burrell 
5. Charlie Byrd 

6. Larry Coryell 
7. AL DiMeola 

8. Herb Ellis 

4. José Feliciano 
10. Eric Gale 


Bose 
Keter Betts 
Walter Booker 


3. Ray Brown 
1. Mike Bruce 
5. Joe Byrd 


ny Garrison 
die Gomez 
b Hagen 
15. Perey He 


17. Charles Mingus 
IR. Monk Montgomery 
10. Carl Kadte 
20. Rudus Reid 
21. Miroslav V 


Percussion. 


1. Hal Blaine 
2. Art Blakey 
Willie Bobo 


‘Stix Hooper 
Elvin Jones 


Composer 


Mose Allison 
Carla Bley 
Dave Brubeck 
Stanley Clar 
Ornette Coleman 
Chick Corea 
Miles Davis 
Eumir Deodato 


17. Theloni 
18. Gil Scott-Heron 


k 


Brian Jackson 
Wayne Shorter 
Horace Silver 


I Dave Brubeck 
. Ray Charles 
Larry Coryell & 


the Eleventh House 


5. Crusaders 
8. Miles Davis 


7. to 
A. Maynard Ferguson 
9. Jan Hammer 

10. 


Ramsey 
Chuck 


Me 
Sergio Mendes & 
Ea 
n te Forever 
17. Buddy Rich 
18. Tom Scot & 
the LA, E: 
10. Doc Severinsen 
30. Weather Report 


COUNTRY-AND-WESTERN 
Male Vocalist 


1. Мое Bandy 
Glen Campbell 
Johnny Cash. 
. Guy Clark 
Roy Clark 


Mickey Gilley 
Steve Соот 
2. Merle Haggard 

Jennings. 


Johnny Paycheck 
rley Pride 

. John Pr 
Eddie Rabbitt 
Jerry Reed 

Charlie Rich 

. Johnny. Rodriguez 
Renny Rogers 

Ray Stevens 

Mel Tillis 

Conway Twitty 
Jerry Jeli Walker 
ms, Jr. 


Female Vocalist 


1. Barbi Benton. 
2. Judy Collins 
з 
1 


Jessi Colter 


la Hargrove 
lon Harris 


Anne Murray 
Tracy Nelson 
Olivia Newton John 


Picker 


1. Chet Atkins 
David Bromberg, 
Roy Cla 

1. Ry Conde 
5. Pete Drake 
6, John Falk 
7. Lester Flatt 
8. Amos Garrett 
9, Johnny Gimble 


10. Lloyd Green 
1. John H: 


Jerry Reed 
Earl Scruggs 


| Reggie Young 


Composer 


Hoyt Asto 
uy Clark. 
Mac Davis 


1 
© 
[ 


s 
Fuolfersum 
Lightfoot 
Miller 

ael Murphey 


275 


PLAYBOY 


276 couldn't believe tw 


МІА МІ о 


"The University of Miami appears to have just as 
much sex life as most Southern colleges." 


bea 
lines vary. M 
views the scene this way: 
ni, your odds 
п women 


hes—but the reports from the front 
ike, 30, a Miami lawyer, 
For an Anglo 
re cut 50 per- 
don't w: 


guy in Мі 
cent. Cul 
thing to do w 
Suarez de Dios, 
уз that success depends on your ap- 
proach. “With my people, you have to 
let go. You let go of the insecurity and 
you become aggressive. You're havi 
good time, you let go. The on-tl 
attitude seems to heighten the 
response of everyone in the place. Of 
course, the Cuban guy is a little more 
devious, а litle quicker. The Cuban girl 
is more aware of the American guy. 
Shell see the litle tricks. He'll usually 
wine and dine а Cuban girl more than 
the Cuban guy. If you really take care 
of yourself, wear a suit, put on cologne, 
you'll do much better." Ah, romance. 
there's the University of 
a decade now, universit 
ously trying with 
only moderate success to live down th 
school’s reputation as Suntan U. The 
marine sciences, physics, geography, geol- 
ogy, music and drama have become strong 
departments; the humanities arc consid- 
the school's weak areas. The ad- 
йиз for legitimacy to a 
number of gı aded every year 
for advanced learning at places like MIT 
d Cal Tech, For all that, the Univer- 
sity of Miami nless place 10 go 
to school. 
no city college. Th 
ıs (10,000 undergraduates) p 
privateschool tu 


h you.” 


ered 


17,000 


e are 


$1850 


ion of 


the 
per semester to get thei 


brains str 


ened out on a modern, whites 
low-rise campus dotted with palms, : 
artificia е and а double-Olympic- 


mded by a 


sized sw 
deck and hu ge chairs that 
make it look exactly like the hindside of 
the Fontainebleau Hilton. The econom 
condition is generally affluent, as 
at the Imge parking lots of the 
and fraternities indicates. “You 
cn go out and buy a Corvette around 
here and nobody will be impressed.” says 
senior who is president 
nhellenic Council (association 
rities). "E as on 
My brother c from Brown 
expl amd he 


y 


g pool su 
lreds of lou 


y 


one week,” 


girls and how huge the parking lots are 

In the outdoorsy atmosphere of the 
university campus, it is extremely casy 
to make daytime contacis. Connections 
made in “the pit" a patio behind 
the Memorial Building that swarms with 


students between cla they сап 
pass through the Stud ion's 


full of 


pinball hines, 
and pool tables. The adj 
where Cuban bus boys and gi 
not students, pick up the trays is open 
afternoon, Forty yards away is The Raths- 
keller, a snack bar with beer, disco music 
and more pinball machines. И abuts 
that enormous pool deck that is more 
for sunning than for swimming. 

The University of Miami appears to 
have just as much sex life as most South- 
ern colleges; i.e, a lot. Given the fact that 
many of the coeds jiggle out for classes 
haltertops or tennis outfits, it would 
be hard to imagine things any other way. 

“The only problem 1 have with 
them,” says one fraternity brother, “is 
getting "em to give head. Or a hand job. 
Youll eat a girl out and then say, "Well, 
md she'll s; 


ll Steingold, last year’s editor 
of The Miami Hurricane, recalls the 
dorm action fondly. “I remember in my 
sophomore year, | was the dorm R.A. 
[resident advisor] There was а lot of 
noise at one end of the hall, so I went 
down to see what it was. I looked in th 


room and there were about five couples 
in there having 


Mazola party—spread- 
ing oil all over their bodics. They invited 
a and I had a ball." 

igs play a role, too. The aphrodisiac 
of choice is Qu 
and easy to obtai 
some or there 
who prescribe them.” 


me ba 


Judes, whi 


— "somebody 


re doctors around here 


“If you're going to do 'ludes,” says 
one purty-minded Miamian, "you make 
sure to slip the girl two and take just 


the 


one yourself, Then you can get 
sack and do anything imaginable 

One of the unique delights of the pro- 
gressive sexual atmosphere at 
versity is a weekly ad: 
column that appears across the top of 
the Hurricane's op-ed page- Wt is written 
by M 
sor of indet 


һе uni- 
10-thesexlom. 


on the questions she 


tion box near her office. 


brings a terrific compassion 
frankness to the printed page of 
lege newspaper 

Her advice is fund: ntal, Students. 
ask such questions as “How do women 
masturbate?’ nd “What is 69 Last 


year’s all-time favorite Q. and A. was the 


sex because of 

the pleasure it gives my man. Please, 

what is the best thing to do with the 

come? I can't ask anyone els 
А.: Swallow. 


SWINGING 


On the face of it, Miami is very much 
a city of staid burghers at considerable 
ms to show themselves a part of the 
great American mainstr Away from 
the beaches, 
Peoria. Yet it is from within this very 
world that one finds the urge for the 
kind of closet excitement that swit 
sex brings. Swapping parti 
-conscious str 


way im s 


sometl 


Their only traditional release has been 
the secret quickie: Bill balls his secretary 
work, while Sally occasionally gets 
lifeguard at the pool where 


kids. They do it without 


she 
telling cach othe 
The vı avrov telepho 


but word gets around, 


е survey of M. 
cent of the people 
marital relationships 


revealed that 45 p 
thought thar extr 
were on the rise. 
Swinging is an alternative to cheating 
The focus of organized activity (as op- 
posed to mailorder swinging) is Play- 
house I, the creation of Del and Bol 
(ам names never given), a mid-3üish 
couple who have become the gurus of 
swinging in south Florida. Playhouse I 
is a large, plush lounge on Miramar 
kway halfway between Miami and 
Fort Lauderdale. It is open every night 
except. Monday and is restricted 10 cou- 
ples only on Wednesdays, Fridays, Satur 
days and. Sundays. On Sunday night, a 


bullet is served. Since under Florida law 
the beveragedivision cops have full 
searchandseiane rights without war- 


rants in any place that sells liquor, me 
bers must bring their own bottles to 
Playhouse 1. Setups are provided. 

There is premises. sex 
house 1; there never has be 
swinger put it, “South F 
the Bible Belt 
10,000-squar 
called Playhouse South, Del and Bobi will 
soon be providing all the amenities that 
doitir c to have: a 
sauna, three Jacuzzis, European showers, 
plush sofas, a screening room and a 

(continued on page 336) 


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"Saint Jack" 


peter bogdanovich teams up with playboy for his latest 
film, which stars ben gazzara as a singapore pimp 


By TOM NOLAN тик novse is off the first seven dass? business at this 
Sunset Boulevard, just north of the ionable suburb's handful of theater 
UCLA campus and within jogging dis- not the reputation, the financial 
and, in the geographically undefined one m 
of Westwood, where even on weekdays suburb called Hollywood, a few miles’ 
the block long lines at the dozen or so — drive to the east, the two are usually syn- 
movichou n at noon, It is not too — onymous. It was Westwood that such 
eration to say that the films as The Las! Picture Show, Paper 
y American films and Moon, What's Up, Doc?, Daisy Miller, The house 
rc made or broken by Al Long Last Love and Nickelodeon behind a priv 


pulled them in or turned them off. In 
the house off Sunset, the director of 
e— those six pictures—three hits, two misses, 
ybe—broodes ently over the 
the rel te, the ev 


4 4 
бө: 


төл: 


Ben Gozzera plays Jack Flowers (the titular Saint Jack of the mavie), an American who runs on Army-sanctioned whorehouse in Singapore. 
284 Above, we see him surrounded by a few of his employees. As the story unfolds, Jack discovers the dongers of being a free-lance pimp. 


OFFCAMERA PHOTOS BY RICHARD FEGLEY 


One of the choicest roles in the film is played 
by Saleem Sanwan (lef). Saleem plays 
Yusof the bartender, confidant of the girls 
at Jack's place, a man privy to their most 
Private thoughts . . . and parts. During a 
break in the shaoting, Bogdanovich and Gaz- 
тога (below left) chat with several lovely 
Singaporeans, while curious onlaokers onlook. 


Until Soin Jack, there hadn't been a movie 
shot in Singapore for 20 years. During the five 
months of shoating, despite its theme, Bag- 
danovich recruited many Singaporean actors 
for the production; among them ore Eliza- 
beth Ang (left) and Cecilia Arriola (above). 
Bogdanovich hopes the film will inspire 
ingapore. No doubt it will. 


Jack runs ofoul of a Chinese gang that hu- 
miliates him by tattooing his arms with 
pornographic pictures; above left, Harry the 
tattooist (played by H. C. Groh) transforms 
them into flowers as Jack's closest pal, Wil- 
liam Leigh (Denholm Elliott), watches with 
amusement. Above, director Bogdanovich 
preps Gazzara and Elliott for a scene. 


For Bogdanovich, whose los! two films were 
the musical At Long Last Love and the whim- 
sical Nickelodeon, Saint Jack with its sexual 
theme is something of a departure. Below left, 
director Bogdonovich sets up a scene between 
transvestite, known simply as Lily, and 
Bridget Ang, a puffball-blonde transsexual, 
who get it together for the camera (below). 


PLAYBOY 


286 duc 


those so inclined, of Charles Foster 
Kane's Xanadu. Inside an enormous liv- 
ing room, dozens of objets d'art are 
placed in uneasy juxtaposition; a semi- 
bsuact painting in splashy colors is 
flanked by steely 18th Century English 
engravings. Bulky mirrored South Ameri- 
can pillows squat on Empire sofas. Serv- 
nts discreetly come and go. A fountain 
burbles in the courtya ond an open 
door. A recent visitor waiting in this 
room heard one half of a telephone con- 
versation from somewhere nearby. "It's a 
tough picture,” a voice was saying. “It's 
really pretty strong. I think it's my best 
since Picture Show. . . . Well when is 
the latest you can see it and still decide 
lor the festival?” A few moments later, 
the voices owner appeared. Не had 
been on the phone with the director of 
the New York Film Festival, he ex- 
plained. That event w 


But 
id Peter Bogdano- 
smile. “The 


vich with 
like to see the pictur 
He was wearing small, round, slightly 
tinted glasses and seemed to be growing 
tache. He smelled pleasantly of 
ibrary, seated in a 
high-backed chair at a table the length 
of the room, he finished what was left 
of a light lunch and explained how he 
had come to make this movie of the novel 
of the same name by Paul Theroux, por- 
tions of which appeared in rLayuoy's 
нату 1973 
Welles had told Cybill [Shep- 
herd] he thought it was a good book and 
she ought to read it. She liked it and 
she said I ought to read it, so I read it. 
Шу. And I thought it was a pretty 
. Interesting id ter 
, interesting little . . . сопсей 
у, it deals with moral questions, 
s a question of figuring a way 
of dramatizing the book. It's not written 
chronologically. You have to sort of 
straighten it out.” 
anovich didn't mention it, 
ightening out 
done before Saint Jack made 
filming stage. It all goes bac 
Cybill Shepherd, Bogdanovich's longtime 
lady, had filed aga AYhOY Over a 
picture of her published in 1979. This 
had been slowly wending its way through 
the tortuous paths of legal procedure 
when, at a Hollywood party for Jimmy 
Carter at the home of actor Warren 
Beatty, Bogdanovich was introduced to 
Hugh M. Hefner. Eventually, when 
Bogdanovich and Shepherd learned that 
Playboy Enterprises held the film rights 
to Theroux's novel, a bargain was 
struck: Instead of becoming adver: 
in a courtroom, Heiner and Bogdano- 
vich wound up partners in a f 


wage. In the 


to the 
to a suit 


As conceived by Theroux, Saint Jack's 
title character is a strangely vulnerable 
fellow whose very personal notion of 
morality permits him to manage a U. S. 
Army-sanctioned whorehouse for GIs on 
R&R from Vietnam—but is tested by 
seamier tasks, “It’s about making moral 
ch e," Bogdanovich s: 
Whether or not to sell ош. Whether 
or not to take a lotta money lor some- 
thing you don't believe in. What's right 
or wrong, when push comes to shove. 
And since it deals with a pimp—which 
is not a profession noted [or morality— 
T think it’s rather interesting. The trick 
was to translate that idea into a movie.” 
Bogdanovich wrote one script, then 
he and playwright Howard Sackler wrote 
another. Financing was provided by 
Roger Corman. Playboy Productions 
coproduced the (ilm, with Hugh M. 
Heiner and Eddie Rissien, Executive 
Vice-President of Playboy Productions, 
serving as executive producers. Once the 
company was in Singapore, а thorough 
rewrite was done, with star Ben Gazzara 
ssociate producer George Morfogen 
making important contributions. “We 
tied to make a movie devoid of bull- 
shit. ] mean . . . all movies are slightly 
bullshit. It comes with making movies. 
We at least were tying consciously to 
avoid that. And, you know, it isn't casy. 
I don't know if we did or not, but I 
think it’s piety good. The picture moves 
very quickly. I don't think it’s lugubrious, 
or heavy, but i t your light, frothy 
entertainment, I has а tough quality." 
Bogdanovich was in Singapore Гог ak 
most five months. There hadn't been a 
picture made there in 20 years. An in- 
ternational crew of amateurs and pro- 
fessionals—Dutch, French, American, 
Chinese, M sian, Indian—was assem- 
bled. The budget was small: about 
$2,000,000. The political realities of 
Singapore created special difficulties, 
"We were in a country that is, uh, not 
free. I suppose no country's free, but 
they're very. very 
things. They're very repressive in terms 
of sex, you know: PLAYBOY is not allowed 
in the country. In fact, when I ar 
it's rather funny—when 1 got to cus. 
toms, they specifically asked me if 1 had 
any You Ww, 
there's a big war against drugs; they ex 
ecuted a couple of people for drug traf- 
ficking. Several. It's a capital offense 
shed with his lunch, Bogd 
produced several vitamin capsul 
he aligned and realigned on the table's 
polished wood, like worry beads. He 
spoke of having prepared a cover story 
for the Singapore authorities, in order to 
gain permission from the ministry of cul- 
ture to film at various sites. As far as any- 
one there was concerned, he was in town 


sum 


ict aboi 


ceri 


n 


copies of PLAYBOY. 


to make a picture called Jack of Hearts, 
and he had the synopsis to prove it. 

"It was sort of a Love Is a Many 
Splendored Thing movie. Probably one 
of the funnier things you've ever read. 
About a guy who runs away from Amer- 
ica because he's falsely accused of a mur- 
der, and he gets involved with a bunch 
of English and Chinese show people who 
are putting on а nightdub act and . . . 
that kinda thing. Make a pretty good 
picture. 1 could probably sell it at Fox 
next week—with Bill Holden and, uh... 
Diana Ross.’ 

The ploy worked. “They were very 
nice to us. I mean, we lied, but I don't 
feel bad about it, because the picture's 
ingapore. 1 think you'd prob- 
ably see it and say, hey, that's; maybe, 
an interesting place to visit, And it was 
necessary. Oth ‚ the picture would 
never һа ade. 

Saint Jack is Bogdanovich's eighth 
film, including his debut, a gritty, low- 
budget thriller called Targets. starr 
Boi loff, with Peter himself play- 
ing a young film director. Bogdanovich 
also appears, as an Army Intelligence 
type, in Saint Jack, which he said w: 
unlike any of his other films. 

"I don't think it's like any movie I've 
ever seen, really. І don't think there's 
ever been a movie quite like it. 
comfortable in one straight backed chair, 
Bogdanovich began balancing himself 
between two of them. “This may sound 
facetious or . . . mock humble, but I 
feel that after having made eight pic- 
tures, l'm ready now to . make some 
pictures. What I mean is, the older di- 
rectors had a lot more time to serve an 
apprenticeship. Jolin Ford didn't make 
a really extraordinary movie until he'd 
made maybe 20 or 40. But we don’t have 
that option any longer. We're expected 
to, you know, do somet 
So, thr 
Iw 


picture 
€ picture: 
э 1 feel Saint Jack is really kind of 
а new begi 


but... it's the most serious picture I've 
made since The Last Picture Show, 1 


suppose Daisy Miller was a pretty serious 


picture, but it didn't strike you with tha 
kind of i that, I think some 
of the other pictures were . . . light 


hearted. Paper Moon I always thos 
had a darker surface than anybody c 
to notice. It had а co mount 
of charm. but I always thought it w 
pretty sad picture, Well, 1 think Jack has 
some of the feeling of Picture Shaw, 
though I think Jack is а much better 
picture. I think it’s as good as I've done. 
I's certainly the most ambitious, in trying 

to do something that has some weight.” 
Bogdanovich is well aware that his 
(concluded on page 366) 


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FIAT PLEASANT SURPRISE #5 


Road and Track’s '78 Road Test Annual rated the 
Fiat 131 (Brava Series) excellent in panic stop 
control. They rated Audi Fox, BMW 320i, 

Saab 99EMS, and Volvo 244DL very good. 


#2. 24 MONTH/24,000 MILE WARRANTY. 
Your Fiat power train is warranteed for 
24 months or 24,000 miles. Plus, 
our limited warranty covers 
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12,000 miles for just about 
any defect in i 


5th gear. It’s standard equipment 
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not on other leading European 
performance sedans. Shifting to 
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3090 to 2450. Reduces your gas 
consumption, engine wear, and noise. 


SOME OTHER PLEASANT SURPRISES 
WITH YOUR 79 BRAVA. 


#3. ANEW 2-LITRE ENGINE. 


MORE POWER TO PULLOUT AND PASS. material or —— 
More torque, more jump when you need it. workmanship? THOUSAND. 
You're in a frustrated caravan trailing Ask your Fiat EH ? 
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#8. ALOAD COMPENSATOR FOR BETTER craftsmanship. That craftsmanship keeps show- 
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TIPS ОМ KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR 


MAN 
WORK 


& 


POWER FAILURE 


Is your boss a true terror? Does he make your every 
working day a horror show of disapproving glances, Prus- 
sian punch-ins at the time clock and completely unmem- 
orable memos? If so, you might think that the worst thing 
in the world would be for the old 5.0.0. to get even more 
power, right? 

Not according to Yale sociologist Rosabeth Moss Kan- 
ter. She believes that the more real clout the perry tyrant 
gets. the less likely your daily stint on the job will resem- 
ble something out of Dante's Inferno. Kanter, who wrote 
Men and Women of the Corporation, claims that it is too 
litile power, not too much, that produces the rules- 
minded, punitive, dictatorial style we know all too well 

Deprived of the chance to do something creative, says 
Kanter, the powerless in positions of responsibility tend 
to get bogged down in details and turn their attention to 
trivia] problems calling for instant solutions (rerouting 
the time sheets; establishing intradepartmental rubber- 
band-utilization quotas), Such "problems" at least pro- 
vide some illusion of accomplishment for the powerless, 
but at the cost of having the people under them stop 
taking them seriously. That starts a vicious spiral, in 
which the leaders react defensively by anticipating resist- 
ance from all quarters and become, in Kanter's chilling 
phrase, “coercive downward," behaving like schoolteach- 
ers more concerned with a paper's neatness than with the 
ideas contained in it. 

As economic growth slows down, Kanter ѕсеѕ organi- 
ional powerlessness spreading. Organizations mature, 
she finds, by centralizing and adding insulating layers of 
hierarchy between those who can make decisions and 
those who can carry them out. More and more jobs are 
thus becoming routinized, their procedures predeter- 
mined, leaving workers liule room to create, invent, plan 
and perform in ways that are not predictable. 

The alternative, of course, is to empower more organi- 
zation members by delegating authority, decentralizing 

nd cutting down on the layers of bureaucracy. Kanter 
would like to put the capacity to act back at the point of 
action. A great idea, sure, but who's going to make the 
decision to do it, and who's going to carry out all that 
reorganizin, 


YOUR SECRETARY: WILL SHE OR WON'T SHE? 


If she reads Working Woman. she just might. In an 
article appearing in that magazine, Susan Jacoby writes 
that the traditional advice to young secretaries to meet all 
romantic advances with an automatic negative is too 


harsh. She believes that “two people can have an office 
affair and remain the best of friends and co-workers when 
it's over. If neither of them is hurt too much in the 
breakup . . . if the whole office isn't privy to their per- 
sonal life . . . if they are both sane and fair, In the best 
of all possible worlds . . . it's possible.” 

It sounds reservedly encouraging to us, but, on the 
other hand, a hard-bitten boss we know would never con- 
sider sleeping with his secretary. He says, "Why queer 
the only good relationship you've got?” 


THE INNER GAME OF NEGOTIATION 


Francis Greenburger runs two businesses, He is both a 
literary agent and а real-estate cntreprencur, and highly 
successful in both careers. Not surprisingly, Greenburger 
sees life as "ап endless series of exchanges between people, 
one thing for another," which we know because Green- 
burger is also an author. With a little help from Thomas 
Kiernan, he has given us How to Ask for More and Get 
It: The Art of Creative Negotiation. 

Every negotiation, says Greenburger—he it the sale of 
а car, the working out of a recording contract or an audit 
by the IRS—has a distinct tenor and rhythm. The tenor 
may be amiable, hostile or indifferent, The rhythm may 
be hurried, leisurely, high- or low-pressured. In any event, 
your ultimate tactic as a negotiator, Greenburger in- 
structs, is to shape and control the negotiation by shap- 
ing and controlling its tenor and rhythm. 

How? Greenburger borrows а page from W. Timothy 
Gallwey's revolutionary approach to tennis and comes up 


g the fact that it's Jimmy Connors firing it at you, 
ay to come ош on top at negotiating is to concen- 
trate on the issues—the back-and-forth volleys of goals, 
tactics and concessions—rather than on the extraneous 
clements of the exchange, such as the fact that your oppo- 
nent is chairman of the board of some multinational 
corporation. 

This comes as refreshing advice, because it runs con- 
тагу to the kind of procedure Michael Korda or Robert 
Ringer would suggest. The power game—where both par- 
Чез in a negotiation posture for onc-upmanship—simply 
clouds the real issue of the negotiation. And often, in- 
stead of establishing a dominant role for one of the 
it only results in extrancous pettiness. 

“Keep the game in perspective and you'll be a sure 
winner at the inner game,” advises Greenburger. “Win 
the inner game and you can't lose at the outer." 

Negotiation, anyone? 


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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR 


HOW TO 
BUY A MAN'S 
FUR COAT 


clping a woman on with her fur coat can turn any 
H™ on to lur. Buying your own fur coat, however. 
puts you in a class with Walt Frazier, Willis Reed, 
Reggie Jackson, Dave Kingman, Tom Seaver, Muham 
mad Ali and Phil Esposito, who bought matching fox 
jackets for his wife and himsell: 
If you're one of those men who want to join the jocks, 
remember you're buying more than an item of clothing 
You're buying warmth and sex appeal—women like fur 


coats on men. You're also making an investment that may 
outlast your other clothing, and even your car. A fur coat 


value, too. When you're tired of it or want a new one, 
the coat can be remodeled, made into a jacket or con- 
verted into a lining for a raincoat, Or it can be traded in, 
sold to a used-fur shop or given to a charitable thrift shop 
for a tax deduction. For those reasons, shop around for 
Turs as you would for any investment. Ask hard questions, 
comparison shop and trust expert advice, 


KINDS OF FUR 


To start, you need to know a little about fur, The kind 
you choose depends on why you want to wear it: for 
warmth or for fashion 

Fur is simply leather with hair. One type has thick, 
soft underfur for warmth, which is protected from rain 
and snow by longer, sleck, outer, or guard, hair. If the 
Tur gets wet, a good shaking to get rid of moisture and 
then hanging it in a cool place (never near heat, which 
may dry the leather) where air can circulate is usually all 
the care it needs. These furs, all popular with men, in- 
clude natural beaver and nutria, coyote, raccoon, fox, 
otter, rabbit, mink and sable. Rabbit costs as little as 
$100 and sable, as much as $150,000, The other furs range 
from inexpensive to moderate, depending on its kind and 
quality and the way the coat is made. 

The other type of fur has only one kind of hair, which 
may be short and flat like calf or curly like Persian lamb. 
This fur is generally not warm (Persian lamb is the ex- 
ception) and won't wear ay well as furs with guard hair 


s natural in texture and color. A proc- 
essed fur is “changed.” It may be dyed or bleached, which 
means it will not wear as well because the chemicals tend 
to weaken the leather, or it may be sheared. Beaver 
and nutria, for example, can have their guard hairs 
plucked and the underfur sheared to an even, plush tex- 
ture. Sheared furs are light in weight but still warm, 
though. they tend to mat іп rain or snow without the 
guard hairs for protection, 


WHERE, HOW AND WHEN TO BUY 


"There are four simple rules to follow: 

I. Make sure the department store, specialty shop or 
fur salon youre visiting is reliable: IC it has storage, 
cleaning and repair facilities, the chances are it is. To get 
the best and longest wear, youll want lo store the coat 
during the summer and to have it cleaned once a year. 
Fur needs cleaning but not the kind most dry cleaners 
offer. Also, the coat may need alteration or repairs, and 
only a furrier should work on fur. A tailor, used to cloth, 
doesn't have the necessary skills. 

2. Read the tags. They will tell you the fur's famili: 
American name, whether it is natural or processed and 
whether the ca: made of whole or partial skins. Terms 
you should know also include let out, which means whole 
skins have been cut into narrow slices and the slices rc- 
sewn into a long strip, Letting out lightens the weight, 
retains the warmth and allows finer styling. A partial- 
skin coat may be made of sides or flanks or bellies. A 
is made of small pieces of fur, The last two 
ar as well as fullskin coats and are usually 
5 expensive. ОГ least importance to you on the tap 
is the fur's country of origin. 

З. Ask the sales clerk what you can expect in length 
of wear of the coat, if it needs special care and to explain 

nything you don't understand on the tag. If the clerk 

seems uninformed, ask for the fur buyer or manager. If 
he can't help, go to another store. After all, you are mak- 
ng a substantial investment, At the same time, don't let 
anyone—clerk or friend—pressure you. You're the one 
who will wear the coat. 

4. Buy early in the season, when the selection is t 
widest and the clerks aren't busy. As far as sales go. 
beware! You may be able to get a good-quality fur coat at 
20 percent off, but stores offering much more than that 
may be selling shopworn goods. Besides, prices vary wide- 
ly, both among different [urs and for the same kind of fur, 
depending on quality, label and other factors. If a coat 
in the [ur you like is too expensive, try a jacket instead. 

Before buying а fur coat, then, ту оп а number of 
kinds, ask a lot of questions, make sure the store is relia- 
blc and buy the best quality you can afford. You're better 
ОЁ with the best raccoon than with a cheap mink, Before 
you buy, too, a good hook to read—with a low bow to 
myself{—is Furs, an Appreciation of Luxury, а Guide to 
Value, by yours tr 

Remember, а fur coat is an investment, but you're get- 
ting your moncy's worth in warmth, fashion—and sex ap- 
peal. You might not be a Lom Seaver or a Phil Esposito, 
but you can still dress like them, —EDYTHE CUDLIer- 


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TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR 


MARRIAGE, 
DIVORCE AND 
FEDERAL TAXES 


when you are on the threshold of marriage. But it 

might pay you to take them into account when 
you choose between a December and a January wedding. 
Your decision can cost or save you quite a few tax dollars, 
because the Internal Revenue Service considers you a 
married person for the entire year even if you should 
get hitched as late as December 31. 


T axes are probably the last thing on your mind 


THE DECEMBER MARRIAGE 


A December wedding will turn out to be a costly propo- 
sition for many working couples when filing time rolls 
around and they suddenly discover that their wx utb a» 
Mr. and Mrs. is more than it would be as two single 
persons who set up housekeeping and report the same 
total income. On the other hand, a December ceremony 
definitely pays off for you and your prospective mate 
when one of you reports considerably more than the 
other 

To illustrate the benefits of picking a December date 
for the ceremony, suppose that you expect to have a sal- 
ary and other income of $20,000 and your prospective 
partner has none. At tax time, your jointfiling tab will 
come to $2899—a hefty savings of $1100, compared with 
what the Internal Revenue Service would exact from 
you as a single person. 

The savings grows rapidly along with your taxable 
income ani can help pay for your honeymoon. For ex- 
ample, it is $1682 if you report taxable income of 
524,000; $3610 if you report $50,000; and it can go as 
high as $13,290 if you report $200,000. 

But the rules of the game change when both of you 
report similar taxable incomes. Then it can pay to delay 
the ceremony until January. That bit of forethought, 
depending on your viewpoint, allows you to escape the 
marriage tax or take advantage of the sin subsidy for 
the current year. 

Those savings from joint filing can become losses when. 
there is not a large enough spread between what you and 
your mate declare. Consider what happens when you 
report 512,000 and your partner reports $8000. А Decem- 
ber wedding can boost your combined tax bill by $428. 

Or suppose that you expect to report salaries of $20,000 
єссє. Your combined tax on separate returns will come 
to $7998—or 51858 less than the tax tab for a couple 
with the identical income who must use the rates for 
married persons because they ignored the calendar and 
picked a December date. 


MAKING DIVORCE PAY 


As for breaking up a marriage, the IRS will consider 
you a single person for the entire year even if you should 
get divorced or legally separated as late as December 31. 
Thus, advancing or postponing the date of your unhitch- 
ing by a single day at year's end can also affect the size 
of your tax bill. 

You forfeit the benefits of joint filing for the entire 
year unless you can grin and bear it beyond December 31. 
But if being single provides an advantage, you can achieve 
that tax goal only if you shed your spouse by December 31. 

These tax quirks that favor single persons have prompt- 
ed an increasing number of dual-income couples to jour- 
ney to Haiti or some equally ubligimg place to get a 
divorce in December and then remarry in January. 

Those year-end junkets inevitably drew extensive pub- 
licity. That prompted the IRS to issue a prim warning in 
the form of a ruling that it no longer would recognize a 
divorce obtained merely to save taxes. This ruling is not 
necessarily the final word. So if the IRS insists it was all a 
sham and demands some extra taxes plus interest when 
а couple goes the divorceremarriage route, they can still 
try their luck with the courts. 

The IRS also ruled that a pact entered into before they 
got hitched did not entitle a two-income couple to file as 
unmarrieds. It seems that one specific couple agreed to 
function toward each other as “fully independent, single 
individuals with none of the financial characteristi 
which are usually present in a marriage relationship.” 
That bit of forcthought got them exactly nowhere with 
n unsympathetic IRS 

An increasingly beleaguered IRS readily concedes that 
a couple can file as single persons when they get a regular 
divorce and simply live together out of wedlod 
arrangement is something now considered an acceptable, 
if not yet a totally “respectable,” way of life for a con- 
tinuously growing number of individuals who, in Census 
Bureau jargon, share two-person households with an un- 
related adult of the opposite sex. 

“Love and marriage defy economic analysis,” obseryed 
the United States Court of Claims, when it recently de- 
clared that our tax system is not unconstitutional just 
because it forces many working marrieds to pay more 
taxes than they would have if they stayed single, But tak- 
ing note of our changing moral attitudes, the court 
went on to note that two-pay-check couples who cohabit 
without sanction of clergy “can enjoy the blessings of 
love while minimizing their forced contribution to 
the Federal fisc. — JULIAN BLOCK 


EU 
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PLAYBOY 


294 


Luturellhighsgm ron page 256 


“When we learn to steer our highs, we’re bound to 
drift into unknown zones of human relations.” 


ont side effects. In the next 90 
s. youll see drugs with every con- 
ceivable specific effect. All of our senses 
will have a range of optional modifica- 
ons. Some chemicals will affect the 
ne ol subjective time, others will 
пре the senses of touch, hearing, taste 
and smell. Many ol these drugs will help 
us learn, or will have medical value, and 
some of them will undoubtedly be used 
for having fun." 

The supernatural powers formerly re- 
served for sorcerers might become avail- 
able to any of us who have the nerve, 
through es of the exotic 
chemical families such as the carbolines 
and the uyptamines. Time distortion, 
rebirth experiences and memories of 
former lifetimes and epochs have 
been atributed to visionary chemicals 
that were unknown to Western science 
until now. Harmaline, for example, was 
Jong known as telepathine, and Dr. С.У 
time distorter is related to the snuff Co- 
lumbus saw Caribs snorting in 1492. 

There is one promising nco-American 
high that isn’t borrowed Irom the na- 
tives—the electronic high. Direct electri 
cal stimulation of the pleasure centers 
has been suggested as a possible future 
intoxicant, bur very few people are likely 
to drill holes in their heads just 10 get 
high. More subtle and less masochistic are 
electronic techniques that will someday 
ble us to steer our highs once those 
chemicals get to work on our brains 
Jol works with solid-state 
у rather than with glassware and 

but he is also one of the 
aphers of interior geography. 
radi 


more 


chemicals, 


Crigla 


synthesizers for rock groups and expe 
telephones fo 
i engi 


pioneer 
the inventor of the 
that monitors muscle 


Myotron—a devic 
relaxation via click 
like a m 
though the hardware is a little more com- 
plicated,” says Criglar. “Yogis have been 
ing for a long time that we can all 
unconscious" bodily 

nent high as the 
We know now that our br 
d muscles generate faint elect 
'esult of natural processes. 

с devices help us sense those 
processes, bring them 10 our attention, 
mirror. biofeedback shows us a 
1t of ourselves we don't normally see, 
and that in itself is the beginning of a 
very pleasurable high. This is one re- 


learn to control our 
processes and get a perm 


result. 


heart 


th projec that has mo problem 
rounding up subjects. because word has 
spread about the excitement of playing 
your body like a h 

Several corporation psychologists, con 
cerned over executive hyperte , have 
been consulting with Criglar and his col- 
league Dr. Lawrence Petraki. The advent 
of the "businessman's high" may be a 
prophetic spin-off from medical biofecd- 
back: A major oil company has ordered 
a test run of 100 Myouon units for its 
executives. 

Dr. Peaki told me, "The staff psy- 
chologists for this particular company 
tried to promote transcendental medita- 
поп as an alternative to Val 
had trouble per ing their executives 
to sign up. When they installed a bio- 
feedback unit, management started lin- 
ing up after hours to learn to relax 
electro ly." Pewaki and Criglar are 
ing on an interface for video games 
in which the player can win only by 
ning to relax. Inner Pong, anyone? 

When I set out in search of a futur- 
ologist to pur. the speculations in p 
all Is led to Menlo Park, 
ton and Ci 
of the inner-space program. The sprawl- 
ing research city known as SRI Interna- 
tional attracted public attention when 
physicists Russell Targ and Harold Pı 
hoff. investigated Uri Geller and other 
"gifted" psychics. Attention shaded into 
notoriety when New York magazine ran 
an account of psychic warfare. predic 
tions, allegedly obtained from unpub- 
lished SRI "scenarios." 

Despite the lurid accounts and scary 
extrapolations, SRI scientists continue to 
explore psychic phenomena and altered 
states of consciousness. The negative 
publicity has made SRI personnel very 
cautions about speaking to outsiders, but 
one futurist, Dr. M., finally agreed to an 
imterview with the words: “Since you are 
determined to write the article, you 
might as well find out that you're stroll- 
ing through a mine field.” 

“We are entering an area more revolu- 
than any political theory," he 
warned when I first called his office. Lat- 
cr, in his paperdense cubicle at SRI, 
he expanded his caution: “In some ways, 
geuing high is really what makes the 
world go round. We're talking about 
changing the nature of our beliefs al 
ity when we talk about gett 
yst likes to ph 


ro: 


eral 


The 


nd old techniques—why a 
ng now? The key 


crucial po 
tradition 
known à 
were supposed to get 
of societ 
on inr 


nt in human history. In every 
there were specialists 
ns or gurus, who 
igh for the benefit 
Now everybody wants to travel 


r planes and the secrets of the 
ages are out in paperback. Things might 
get very strange in the next 20 years, as 
more and more people get higher and 
higher, but 1 think it will be good for 
society in the long run. 

here are plenty of excelle 


t how: 
ajali 
for 
thousands of years, and you can still find 
them in any bookstore. For the more 
scientifically minded, Robert Masters 
and Jean Houston's Mind Games is an 
other good source of highinduction 
if it is used correctly, th 
an literally transport. you 
friends to other dimensions. To me, 
the key question is not how to get high 
but why we get high 

“People get high to have fun. but ex- 
panding awareness also creates а space 
in which new values may eme The 
link between pleasure and species sur- 
vival could influence history. The more 
we expand our positive image of the lu- 
ture—what we think the world ought to 
be—the more probable that alternative 
becomes. We are all creating the future 
ids, and when we change our 
d, we change the shape of 


o 


youi 


state ol n 
Tomorrow 

If expanded consciousness, enh 
perception, even psychic talents с 
induced on a large scale. as Dr. G. 
Dr. M. believe, what are some re: 
projections for future highs? One dis- 
tinct possibility is t biofeedback and 
other self-regulation techniques could 
evolve into а mental steering device suit- 
able for navigating deep inner space. 
When the Myotron clicker and the alpha- 
wave tone grow into a sound synthesizer 
amd threedimensional color display, 
then we'll be able to lift those mystical 
geometries out of our skulls and examine 
them in the light of day. 

When we learn to steer our highs. 
we're bound to drift into unknown zones 
of human relations. When you learn to 
drive, youll want somewhere to go. 
Sitting alonc with your bioholó won't 
be too dillerent from ordinary masturba- 
tion. Once other people are added to 
the experience, and once they have a 
way ol seeing your internal states and 
sensing your inner thoughts, all sorts of 
interpersonal hoopla will break loose. 

Mutual clectronic biofeedback may 
have more powerful sexual effects than 
y chemical aphrod 
gling of nerve ends, 
neural more th 
age-old rituals of physical. penetr: 
the 10,000 well-known ways to ru 
together, are physical manifestat 
mental events. When the state of. your 
(s nervous system сап be read on a 


iac. Sex is а min- 


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screen, sexual experience might gain a 
dimension or two. If good lovers arc 
people who try to. be sensitive to their 
partner's desires, it follows logically that 
y way of increasing mutual awareness 
will expand the pleasure potential of sex. 
Sooner or later, the “memory pill” will 
be created, It might turn out to be the 
most potent high of all time. Passing 
tests and remembering names would be 
handy, but how would it feel? What 
changes would occur in our consciousness 
if we suddenly had more powerful mem- 
ories? According 10 psychologists, it 
would be d change, for me 
ory serve: ¢ the present, order 
reality and anchor us in the time strea 
Something will happen to the meaning 
of ple: d pain when we are able to 
erase or recall any experience in full 
sensual detail. 
Memory enh: 


(cement. could improve 
the way our senses encode experience in 
our brains (storage), or it could improve 
the way we find stored information and 
bring it to the surface (retrieval), or both 
Think about the thousands of impr 

ns streaming into your brain from 
your eyes and cars and internal senses as 
you drive an automobile on a freeway, 
and think about the automatic cens 
thar filters out all but the most imme- 
diate and survival-related impressions 
What if you could replay your day li 
а film, at your leis 
remembered 


Or expe 
о some degree, everything we ever 
experience is recorded somewhere in our 


brains. The world would become a thou- 
sandfold more real if we could store the 
eni stream of sensations and retrieve 
them selectively. Would the expe 
total memory be ecstatic or hellis 
prodigies of art and inven 
resul? With chemically modified mem- 
ories, the urge to get higher will prob- 
ably reach psychic locity. 

In a sense, the will to get high is now 
the moving force behind human evolu- 
ion. If by some prodigious leap of mind 
a single human being were to gain com- 
plete control over all the molecular ac- 
tivity in his own body for a fraction of a 
second, the information blast would have 
тоге power than a supernova, 

Be they sacred or taboo, awareness- 
expanding techniques will always be 
available, and they will always be vulner- 
able to abuse. With yo many voluntecrs 
ntation, we can expect 
both breakthroughs and casualties. There 
will always be truc explorers hidden 
among the daredevils and just plain fools 
willing to get high on а rumor, Some of 
them will burn the 
Wow!" and a few of them might 
just stumble through the door to the next. 
world—and come back to show us all 
how to get there. 

E 


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DIVORCE (continued [кл page 231) 


are not asking that question very much, 
t not in public and usually not of 
nother, But why not? Women are 
asking, debating, communicating, search. 
ing for their right and proper role in th 
society, Why aren't men doing the same disturbance in the 
thing? Why are men dying so much 
younger than women? Is it just a genctic 
joke? Or does our thinking about our- 
selves in such destructive ways have 
something to do with our shortened life 
span? IL the statistics cited at the begin- 
ning of this article are correct, and il 
many losing the struggle for 
survival after divorce, do we not need to 
find some inherent self-worth а 1 th 
helps us in our more desperate moments? 

The suggestion is that men must 
begi! a case for themselves. Man- 
hood is an honorable condition. Only 
when we know and understand this will 
we be able to take the pressures of some- 


g аз intense 


something 


sees the 


decisi 
He goes on: 


ticula 


These responsil 


as divorce in our society. 
In his book The Male 

1 Bedr 
modern industrial society, the 
majority of men sulfer fron 


masculi 
ing that in the U 


thre: 
coming not from women but from “the 
male technological 
mits a few ‘Big Brothers’ 10 ma 
ions for more and more people. 


This example of undermining the 
man's authority by the s 
ling be 
сегиз one of the principal concerns 
of the male: that of fatherhood. . . . 
ies are of the ut- 


most importance not only for the 
adolescent but for the male himself, 
role of paternal author- 
inforces his ego even as 
es him to grow and mature, . . . 


because h 
in Crisis, the ity n 
rik suggests qu 

The male is eclipsed by the institu- 
1 tions of the “father state." And 
the course of becoming invisible to 
the public eye and to the children 
he is raising, be becomes equally 
ible to himself. 


ж 


for example, 
cent. of all success- 


t to masculinity 


Thar puts the male's divorce dilemma 
rather well, whether children are in- 
volved or not (though divorce involv 
children is almost always more painful). 
As the father state steps into your lile 
and administers it, tells you whether or 
not you may stay in your home, how 
much you must pay someone for whom 
you probably have little respect, and 
even sets down the times whi Р 

(text continued on page 302, following 
Divorce Manual for Men” on page 300) 


chine whi 


te is par- 
ıe it cc 


Well-known trial lawyer Carl Tunick, who is most often 
found on the side of the wife, has a different point of view. 


Contrary to widely held belief, men do not fare all that 
badly in divorce these days. Although the great trauma 
1, the greatest fear seems to be financi 
but in the division of family income and property, the 
results are heavily slanted in favor of the male. 

A man with a wife and children, a house and other assets 
must first regard income as family income, not his income, 
and the assets i| property, nor Jus property, in 

s of our system. Our law i 
designed to preserve as much as possible the security of the 
fragmented. fa fter the dissolution of the m ge. 
Justice will not permit a lifestyle, adapted during peaceful 
years, to be abandoned upon divorce 

In some state nd may keep all the property he 
owns: in others, the law requires a division, Even in 
community-property states, and states tha 
ble division. the husband rarely receives less il 
marital property and olten a great deal mor 

Alimony, which most men dread almost as much 
ctually has undergone significant change im the recent 
past and has been diminishing both in wb in 
duration, It is merely a device by which to share family 
income. Naturally, a wile without money must be sup- 
ported, at least until she develops an occupational skill and 
an support herself. Who should bear this burden? There 
is an expert who knows where the wife should live and 
whit she needs, and who has presumably directed. the 
finances of the family for some time. And you are it. How. 


ever, you should relax. Rarely does а husband. рау more 
than 50 percent for alimony d 
support, even with a wile three children to 
maintain. And invariably, because the provider lı 
takes elf last, it is after divorce that hus 
U ast the new golf clubs that during ma 
ame The breadwinner is 
Howed to become the br 


f. his gross incom 


(do two or 


ol hi 


icquis 


alter everyone else's. needs. 


ad sli 


rer. 


DIVORCE: WOMEN SUFFER, 
By CARL TUNICK 


MEN SURVIVE 


We are subjected to a never-ending supply of divorce 
maneuvers, stratagems, а thousand dos and don'ts, all cal- 
culated to preserve the male from financial ruin—and all 
unnecessary, Naturally, our legal system is not foolproof 
Опе must exercise normal business. prudence. Of course, 
the choice of counsel is important, A divorce, whether by 
settlement or by court decree, involves either the most 
significant business deal or the biggest lawsuit one is likely 
to encounter in a lifetime. There is, however, an excellent 
prognosis for the husband whose 
tween doing well and breaking ever 
faces financial ruin and the destruction of he 
the vast majority of cases, the husba 
misdirected. 

A mistaken notion that divorce is а cu 
disappointment. Financial problems, for example, are not 
necessarily solved by divorce. If half a 10: ust. be divided, 
then everyone sullers. Seemingly unfair results develop 
when dollars are short. In such cases, when contested, 
€ been led to employ concepts of fault to allocate 
acrifices. OT course, in a settlement, the party seck- 
acthing will frequently pay for it. 
ol financial disast 


tuarion. fluctuates be- 
It is the wife who 
lifestyle. In 


these 
ing se 

While a husband's fca 
his anxieties about his role with the children are nor. 


is unfounded, 


Since sband who works normal he 
a to furnish ch 
others, the 


rs is not in 
ild care, which then must be dele- 
нә nonwork sd 
position to obtain custody. nd more, however, we 
sce custody going to fathers who adjust thi 
ingly. Certainly, any man who has been a serious, dedicated 
ather on a full-time basis will obtain wh: 
visitation rights he seeks. 

A divorce is a serious failure 
€ a right to hope for some success. It is 
marital insolvency in which everyone must 
ally and financially but, least of i 


ag mother a favored 


More 


lives accord 


r reasonable 


which w 
declarat 
Wer emotion- 
nd. 


©1970 аз мзмәрвтовссосо. 


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smoked. Good taste. 
“So when I switched to low tar, 
I wasn't about to give that up. If you 
„® dontsmokefor taste 
"^ what else is there? 
>” "Butthere was all 
that talk about tar. 
"Unfortunately, most low 
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Then I tried Vantage. 
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T enjoy. And the low tar I've 
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21-046, 


Vince Dougherty 
Philadelphia, Pa 


"ma 


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MENTHOL: 11 mg "ter", 0.8 mg. nicotine, 
av. per cigarette, FIC Report MAY ‘78. 


Warning: The Surgeon General Hes Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


299 


PLAYBOY 


300 


A DIVORCE MANUAL FOR MEN 


DO 


DON'T 


Before Trial 


+ Admit to yourself that you have a problem: how to obtain 
оп honorable divorce. 

* Close joint accounts and cancel credit cards. 

+ Make sure your wife cannot obtain your business and person- 
al financial records. If you keep thet material at home, remove it 
to a more secure location, 

* Try for a reasonable out-of-court settlement if possible. 

* Contact various men's-rights/divorce-reform groups and con- 
sider joining them; ask their advice on choosing an attorney. 

* Attempt to determine whet the lawyer's fees will be. 

* Make sure, if there are children, they understand that you 
cre not divorcing them. 

* Keep a written record of all incidents pert 
vorce: names, dates, etc. 

* Rent a post-office box to receive correspondence that you do 
not wish to risk having your wife open сг see. 

* Ask yourself which porent, in all honesty, would be better 
for the children; csk yourself also if you have the psychological 
end financial strength to go through o custody fight. 

+ Tone down your lifestyle during the divorce proceedings. 
Don't entertain lavishly or travel extensively; cut down on pur- 
chases of clothing and household goods. Judges usually award 
maintenance payments based on a couple's standerd of living 
before the divorce, so the sooner you lower the stondard, the less 
you mey have to pay. 

* Learn about the judges who might sit on your case. Ask for 
ferent judge if you are assigned one who seems prejudiced. 

+ Consider having your lawyer present if o court-cppointed 
social worker interviews your children. 


ient to the di- 


+ Move out of the house unless so ordered by а court (or 
advised by c professionel you respect). 

* Forget that you, too, have constitutional rights. 

* Tell your children horror stories obout their mother; there 
is no need to make them trek through the muck, too. 

+ Use your wife's lawyer. 

* Work with a lawyer who is defeatist about your chances for 
some success. 

* Be afraid to ask a potential lawyer for your case any and 
all questions you want to ask. 

* Leave oll your friends behind and become a hermit. 

= Discuss any proposed settlement with your wife and/or her 
lawyer unless your lawyer is present. 

= Avoid your children if you move out of the house, even 
though you will probably be tested by them much of the time. 

* Toke your children with you if you leave home unless you 
оге absolutely sure you know what you are doing and what 
effect it will have on them. 

* Rely on psychiatrists, psychologists or social workers to sup- 
port you once the cose is scheduled for court; they are reluctant 
witnesses in such o situation, 


During Trial 


+ Attend all depositions, court sessions, etc., even if your attor- 
ney tells you he hos no need for you. 

+ Obtain and keep copies of transcripts of all proceedings. 

+ Get specific visitation rights if you don’t get custody. 

= Claim tox exemptions for the children you ore supporting. 

+ Keep a tob on your attorney's fees; also estimate your 
wife's fees. 

* Take a recsonoble settlement any time you can get it; just 
because you have begun o court cose does not meon you have 
to end it. 

* Fight with everything you have to keep the 
pearing in court. 

* Understand that you cre undergoing a test that drives some 
men to suicide; the anxiety you may feel is not abnormal or c 
sign of weakness; the male is almost inevitably the underdog in 
divorce court, and what you are feeling matches the facts. 


ls from ap- 


= Sign any decree or settlement until you understand every 
word, 

= Be afraid to chenge lawyers if your interests are not being 
defended as you think they should be. 

+ Panic when, оз is likely, the court awords your ex-wife 
custody of your children; remember how high the odds were 
‘agcinst you and realize that no institution, state or molicious 
person con dictate your children's feelings about you; that is a 
matter between you and your kids. 

= Agree to alimony unless there ore exceptionol circumstances 
(a sick or aged wife, etc). 

* Agree to child support based strictly on your income; try 
to have the children’s needs considered but nothing else. 

+ Agree to pay all medical expenses for the children, as you 
could find incredible bills for not much illness; medical insurance 
is another matter and is more logical. 

+ Be sloppy about wills, trusts ond insurance; токе sure the 
beneficiaries are who you want them to be. 


After Trial 


* Fulfill your visitation rights end see your children regularly. 
+ Obey the divorce agreement, even if your ex-wife violates 
continue to pay child support if she denies you visitation. You 
want a solid case should you have to go back to court. 

= Avoid contact with your ex-wife os much os you con. 

* Keep а complete record of cll the financial support you give 
your children. Keep all correspondence relating to the divorce, in 
case you have to return to court. 

* Forgive yourself for mistckes you have mode ond go on to 
lead the best life you can; fight off sentimentality when dealing 
with your children and confront them os с man who has self- 
respect and who has made the best of « bad situation. 


* Review all the details of the divorce with your children. 

* Be afraid to socialize; you are not a leper; you ore simply 
a divorced male, and you have a lot of brothers who have been 
through the seme thing. 

* Be overly possessive of your 
to adjust to the new situation. 


ren; they, toc, need time 


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301 


PLAYBOY 


302 


sce your children, do not most men start 
10 become invisible to themselves? What 
is your role, now that so many other el 
ments and agencies are making the fun- 
damental decisions for you? Just when 
nd and 
Most of us would admit 


speeding bullet, 
al, he needs cle 


define ourselves as 


docs your job as male and husba 


her begi 


auditor. Superman applies to the EPA to 
find out if he can still go faster than a 
ind once he gets approy- 
ce from the FAA. 

‚ сап we men still 
теп? 
we turn 10 try to do t 


Given all of th, 


up this question is especially important 
right now because, in redefining their 
role in society, women have begun to 
redefine, or misdefine, manhood." And 
he continues, "I'm not sure women c 
n be utterly trusted in their red 
‘They've never been men." 


And where 
? Bookstores 


that there is an emasculaüon going on don't have men'sdib sections. Few men Williams is of the old 
here that centers on the tremendous pow sit around trying to define manhood. ion that men and women differ. He 
ers of the bureaucracies that control us. Manhood. Is it possible to define it thinks that, as а sex, men have special 


Shane does not ride out of town until 
he keeps his appointment with his IRS 


today? Professor Paul О, Williams of 
Principia College believes that “ti 


perceptions and talents. In a discussion 
titled “Don't Sell Manhood Short,” he 


ing 


CASE ONE, 


One night in June 1975, a Waterbury, Connecticut, man 
named Walsh cime home late from work and told his wife 
that he wanted a divorce, He was very matter-of-fact about 
it. There was no other woman, he said, no mounting pres- 
sures, no particular dislike for his life as it was—no personal 
offense intended, He just wanted to be single again. 

Jt was all set, Walsh told his wife, except for her ap- 
proval. They would go no fault, It would be simple. She 
could have her clothes, one of the cars and $5000 in cash. 
He then calmly finished dinner and went into another 
room to watch TV. 

Walsh's wife quickly thought matters over. They had 
been married five years. They had no children. They had 
each worked and contributed equally toward the purchase 
of two houses, two cars, land in Vermont and a slightly 
greedy assortment of material goods. What's more, she had 
thought it а pretty good marriage until that day. 

As she cleaned up in the kitchen, Mrs. Walsh's initial 
shock turned to rage. But she had the wit to react sensibly. 
She first determined that her husband would not be shaken 
m his decision. She offered to divorce amicably for an 
even share of the property. Walsh refused, implying that 
all his wife had to do was marry someone clsc—somcone 
with money, if she was smart. But he really didn’t think 
she was too smart. 

Walsh's wife was smart, though, and next morning she 
went on the offensive. It took a year and a succession of 
court appearances, a lot of tactical maneuvering, а good 
lawyer, support Irom friends and а very nice judge, but 


she eventually broke her husband. 
Walsh offered 


confused and senselessly stubborn resist- 
d the very end he got scared and tried to 
k and make a few concessions, but he was com- 
pletely outgunned. His wife ended up with both cars, the 
land in Vermont, all the household goods, mortgages оп 
the two houses, 57500 in cash and an enormous sense of 
triumph. Walsh also had to pay his wife's lawyer's Гесу and 
is now struggling to keep up the mortg; 

Walsh is 36 years old. Today he spends a lot of hi 
looking down at the ice in his bar glass, telling anyone 
who will listen what it feels like to be buried alive. He talks 
loudly and bitterly about the legal system and the foolish- 
ness of judges, but privately he will tell you that he hadn't 
at a serious, harmful business divorce could be; 
nor had he bothered to find out. His arrogance cost him a 
trip to the brink of ru 

Now I know all about di 
his glass. “Just ask me. I'll tell you never to get married 


¢ payments. 


time 


realized wl 


orce,” he says, smiling into 


DIVORCE BAD, DIVORCE GOOD 


By CHARLES MONAGAN «vo case histories dramatically illustrate the extremes of splitting up 


CASE TWO 


On the other hand, there is a man named Rinaldi who 
often comes into the same bar as Walsh. He is also much 
like Walsh in his age, his education and the type of job 
he holds. But he will tell you different. story about 
divorce. He will say that his divorce was one of the smartest 
things he has ever done. 

“Га lost interest in my wife, she'd begun to despise me 
and we'd both lost interest in the marriage,” he says. “We 
Kept it together for a couple of years mainly because of 
the kids, but then I got a little too far out of linc. I got 
drunk one night, picked up a girl and—1 really did th 
took her back to my house. My daughter found us sleeping 
on the couch in the morning. My wife filed.” 

Rinaldi could have taken any of a number of routes. Hc 
could have gotten aggressive and countersued, but he 
understood that his wile had the goods on him. A detec- 
tive might have found something shady in her ac ies, 
but the fight would be expensive and there was plenty of 
cvidence to suggest that decisions in Connecticut on. such 
cases usually favor the woman. 

Another option would have been to feign indifference 
toward the whole matter, letting the chips fall where they 
may. Although that tactic could be seen as a tough-guy 
stance, it more commonly is a сазе of guilt having frozen 
out more normal reactions. 
ealized I had too much to lose if I took an indiffer- 
ent attitude,” Rinaldi says now. "So I decided to do some- 
thing dillerent. 1 decided to talk to my wife. She was mad. 
at me, but I could also see that she was scared. She'd made 
the big move, you see, and she was unsure about the fu- 
lawyer had her putting the screws to me, but I 
I told her that if we could come to a fair 
1 wouldn't abandon her and I wouldn't let her 

shile to convince her I was going to 
be reasonable, but I did it.” 

Things worked out. They sold their house and used the 
money lo set up separate apartments. He got a few favorite 
household items and they each took a car. He pays child 
support and, in return, he sees the two children. often 
enough to retain a sense of fatherhood. He is paying her 
tuition to nursing school, an education she had abandoned 
when she first got pregnant. 

Rin: 


hell have a good job and TIH 


just be paying child support, which I don't mind. We still 
don't like each othe t much, but I think we respect 
cach other. I was lucky, 1 know, She could have really 


taken me to the cleaners. Divorce is a hell of a thing and 1 
don't recommend it, but now I feel free and I feel good 
because E took control of my life instead of letting the 
whole thing tum me into an asshole.” 


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PLAYBOY 


304 


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DIVISION, REDKEN LABORATORIES. INC 


lists some of the qualities he thinks many 
men do possess, The list makes interest 
ng reading for males caught 
identity crisis, and the qu 
sensitivity (“the enormous 
writers, thinke composers, 
poets, social activists and the like among 
males"), generosity (“I have seen any 
number of men work hard over many 
years, with a free and generous spirit, for 
people who depended on them—olten at 
difficult tasks, often at things they didn’t 
want to do"), cowage (“what Thoreau 
describes аз е o'dock in the morn- 
ing courage—which includes the cour- 
^ to endure, to carry the w 
whatever burden has to be 
intellect (“Manhood has the c 
take an idea, examine it, follow it out 
into action and attend to its details, 
development"), wit and humor (71 find a 
special ри d freedom from pretense 
in the laughter of a roomful of men. .. . 
nitated”). 
ing clear that he is not 
ng those qualities to the male sex, 
Williams mak doubly clear that he 
not ale domination of 
у 5 not the 
clination—ol an individ- 
who possesses the qualities Гус de- 
scribed to keep woman back from what 
she sees as the pursuit of her destiny. 
Certain feminists may scoff at Wi 
liams’ list. Others mav find it amusi ng 
to hear men praise themselves. But it 
scems clear that men need help today in 
g themselves as men, and such 
1 come only from themselves. No 
tional Bureau of Sex Standards is 
going do it for из. No Marshall Plan 
for a Bele is in effect. Men 
n almost universal loss of identi 
in this technological society and it is 
through selfanalysis that they can come 
10 prips with the forces that would ob- 
literate them as a sex with special gifts, 
“There is only one thing I can 
you,” wrote a Stoic philosopher named 
Epictetus, “that the man who docs not 
know who he is, t he was born 
for, and what sort of world this is that 
he exists їп... and i ble to follow 
ither reason or di tion, or what 
is false, and cannot dis- 
guish one from the other—such a 
man, to sum it all up, will go about deaf 
and blind, thinking that he is soi ebody 
when he really is nobody. . . . And do 
you think that this is something new? 
Has it not been 
the human г; 


number of 


ne when 
е began, that every mis 
take and every misfortune has been due 
to this kind of ignorance?” 

The harsh experience of divorce tends 
to blind many men to their own virtues, 
fen their ears to even valid praise, 
ld the pre of modern living 
10 the weight that bears on the male 
psyche moment, you come up 
with a reason for the high rate of sell- 
destruction amon ales after divorce, 


Still, not all is death and destruction 
for men in divorce. Mı 


thing that leads to self knowledge and to 
knowledge of others, А man can come 
from divorce with a stronger sense 
man, with 
of his own limits, with an understand- 
ing that property does not define lile, 
and—if he loses custody of his children— 
he can learn that the bonds between 
fathers and children cannot be dissolved 
by court decree, H the male does what 
he can to defend himself in а practical 
fashion, and if he stays in touch with 
other people and docs not become it 
shamed hermit, his lile can be richer 
than it could ever h 
stayed in the dying 

Most importantly, men who have gone 
through divorce are often able to over- 
come what seem to be inevitable weak- 
nesses of the male sex: the tendenci 
both to fear and to worship women. 
Men who have gone down to the wire 
in final arguments in divorce often are 
liberated from the fantastical Hollywood 
lens through which they have viewed 
womankind. They can see women as 
people. No more and no less. 

То be able to deal objectively with a 
woman, to watch her talk, deal with oth- 
ers, deal with you, and to ask questions 
of her you might not have asked before 
orce—How vengeful is she? How 
bright? If I married her and it did пог 
go well, how cruel would she be? Does 
she manipulite me? Control me? Wor- 
ship me falsely? Am I attracted to her for 
healthy reasons or are we both playing 
power games of one kind or another? 
Does she hide beh inine poses or 
is she straight with me? Do we have 
similar i n I becoming a domi- 
nant little Hitler with her cooperation 
or do we truly share in decision 
all of these questions 
y available to the man who ha 
been through divorce. He can choose to 
no longer romanticize or glamorize wom- 
en. And in that choice he will fi 
new freedom. The world’s population 
will double for him: He will be able to 
have women as friends, advisors, without 
ays playing the sexual games that can 
lead t0 confusic 

Divorce, in short, is only one of a mil- 
lion symbols for this dificult age in 
which we find ourselves. We men have a 
job to do redefining our roles and reach- 
ing out for health and identity, It re- 
mains to be seen how we will do it, but 
we are nothing il not resourceful and 
we will do it, 

To those men reading this who are 
about to go through a divorce e in 
the midst of one, or are picking up the 
pieces after one, we sood luck, good 
brothers. You are not alone, You can 
survive. The choice is yo 


t is to be 


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- dy, 1925 


PLAYBOY 


306 


B-I-C’s FM ANTENNA 
GETS A GREAT RECEPTION. 


In the fall of 1977, B-I-C introduced the Beam Box FM 10, 
the first electronically directable FM antenna. tt sits 
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installation. By simply adjusting its knobs you maximize the 
FM signal you want and minimize signals you don't want. At 
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*The Beam Box is the greatest thing that has 
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Additionally І was able to pick up more stations. | am 
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AFB, Utah 

"Since buying and installing the Beam Box, my reception 
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Connecticut and Long Island with absolute fidelity, which | think is 
pretty outstanding since | live in New Jersey. | am finally confident 
that my ‘prestige’ tuner is performing as it was designed to” J.P. 
Ecgewater, N.J. 

“Great invention! Perfect reception. No multipath. 
This is a great advance. Works beautifully in a New 
York apartment.” T.W., New York City 


Now ВГС introduces the new FM 8 at only $49.95. It's a 


bitless fancy and therefore less 
expensive than the original Beam Box 
FM 10. Performance is virtually the same. 


If you're unhappy with your FM 
reception and can't improve it with your 
present FM antenna, The Beam Вох тау 


be your answer. 


Pinball 


(continued from page 253) 
scoreboards. That is of great value in a 
game such as Evel Knievel (which, in 
spite of its namesake's fall from grace, 
is sure to be a collector's item), where 
accessible spinners are, once you've done 
some tricks with side targets, worth 1000 
points à spin. The practiced plaver can 
hold the ball with a flipper and then 
send it through the spinner with the 
kind of speed Nolan Ryan puts on his 
fastball. That means a score that ain't 
chopped liver, and you don't want to 
lose any of it to a scoreboard that can't 
keep up with you. 

The machines mark their scores with 
an odd assortment of noises, replacing 
the old style bicyde-bell clangs of yester 
day. You may mourn th 
neighbors will rather ei 
those old, loud rings 
that even the cheesiest apartmei 
will mask the electronic boops and rings. 
practical matter, though, no 
at floor will fail to he marked 
by the four legs of a pinball machine 
So in addition to the carpenter's level 
you will need to ensure that the game is 
played literally on the level, you ought 
to get yourself four pieces of thick rub- 
ber matting to put under the machine. 

There is another floor. problem with 
all machine: what to do 
and butts. Most a 
less cigarette-resis 


n home р 
about cigarette ashe: 
cades have more-o1 


nt 


floors. Most apartments and houses 
don't. If your machine is going to be 
near a wall, you might remove the ash- 
tray from in front of the elevator doors 
at your office or apartment building and 
attach it to your wall 

With all of these considerations, there 
is an aesthetic bonus to home pinball: 
The pinball machine is a piece of art. 
Put the ht on in the machine even 
when you're not playing and enjoy the 
color. (In the same vein, thc 


games change colors so as not to dan 
your TY reception.) 

Oh. Need 1 mention that you will 
quickly learn. how to 


will cause it to tilt? And if you're fin 
cially compulsive, you can use the m 
chine as a bank. Take out the quart 
put them їп term savings accounts and 
use the money to take a trip to France 
О! course, you know that the French are 
contemptuous of Americans; but they 
are also pinball freaks. and you, you will 
be a wizard. If this does not suggest a 
straight line to the heart of Catherine 
Deneuve, then you have no ation. 


Forget everything. Go to a disco. Look 
around. In an age of t 
ity. all that dancin’ feet 


bunions. 


isistor 
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308 


H ASTING (continued from page 217) 


“The preparation for our dinner is undemanding, lib- 
erating the host so he can be a guest at his own bash.” 


some holiday store-bought fruitcake and 
shortbread on hand as backup. No diffi 
culties there. Finish with Unicum bitters, 
the traditional Continental digestif—and 
а canny choice to cap a superlative feast. 
If you like, supplement the Unicum with 
ame de menthe and cognac or an aged 
single-malt Scotch, and you've got it gift 
pped and tied with à bow, A holiday 
feast everyone will remember, and enjoy 
even the host! 
Each of the recipes serves eight. 


ASSEMBLAGE OF OYSTERS AND CLAMS, 
SALMON CAVIAR GARNISH 


Be sure to notify your fish dealer of 
your needs in advance. Have the oysters 
and clams opened and delivered on а bed 
of crushed ice, as close to dinnertime as 


feasible, Sprinkle with just a little lightly 
salted water to keep them plump and 
store in refrigerator. At serving time, 
age on chilled plates, You can bright- 
en each oyster with a few grains of fresh 
or present the red. pearls 
separately. Accompany with lime wedges 
and pass pepper mill. If you like, deco- 
te each plate with puff of grated fresh 
dish. 


horse 


ROAST CONTRE-FILET 
OF BEEF, AU JUS 


61. boneless short-loin roast 
Coarse salt, freshly ground pepper 
Garlic powder (optional) 

Trim excess fat from roast, but leave 
enough to lubricate meat while roasting, 

Crosshatch fat with thin, sharp knife, ta 


ng care nor to сш into meat. Rub roast 

with salt and pepper, and ра 
if desired. Place on rack in roasting | 
and put in preheated 325° oven. Roast 
13 minutes per pound for rare, or until 
meat thermometer registers 130°. Re- 
move roast from oven and let it set in 
warm place at least 15 minutes before 
carving. Serve with natural pan jui 


ic powder 


THE BOUNTIFUL 


AF 


4 tablespoons butter. 

2 cups long grain rice 

Ya cup sunilower seeds 

14 Ib, mushrooms, sliced 

2 tablespoons chopped shallots 
3y4 cups chicken or beef broth 
Salt 
Ж 


aspoon curry powder 


14 teaspoon freshly ground pepper 


14 cup dry white wine or dry vermouth 
Melt butter over medium-low heat in 
vy pan that has tight cover. Add rice 
nd sunflower seeds and stir until lightly 
toasted. 5 to 7 minutes. Add mushrooms 
and shallots and cook, stirring, unti 
soltened. Season broth with salt to taste 
1d add to pan along with curry powder, 
pepper and wine, Tum heat high and 
bring to boil. Cover, reduce heat to low 
and simmer 20 minutes. Turn off heat, 
remove cover and stir lightly with long 


two-tined fork. Cover рап with clean 
dish towel and replace cover. (Towel 
xorbs steam to keep rice dry and fluffy.) 


Keep warm until ready to serve. 


SALADE RUSSE 


3 medium potatocs, cooked whole in 
their skins 

4 medium carrots, peeled, diced and 
cooked 

10-02. package frozen pea 
package directs 

10-oz. package frozen cut green beans, 
cooked as package directs 

16-07. can white beans, well drained 

Sor. can diced beets, well drained 

V4, cup sliced cornichons or sour pickles 

2 tablespoons capers, drained 

М cup finely chopped onion 

1 small can flat anchovy fillets, well 
drained 

1 tablespoon pickle juice or vinegar 

1⁄4 teaspoon pepper 


S, cooked a 


Mayonnaise 
Pitted black olives and marinated arti- 
choke hearts, well drained 


Peel cooked potatoes while warm 
then dice. Dry all cooked and dra 
vegetables on paper towels, then com 
bine im large salad bowl. Add pickles, 
capers and onion. Reserve few anchovy 
fillets for garnish; cut rest in small picces 


to bowl Stir g 
mixed, Add addition 
needed. and taste for sal 
thin layer of mayonnaise and garnish 
with olives, artichoke hcarts and reserved 
anchovy fillets. Cover with plastic wrap 


yonnaise if 
Coat top with 


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309 


PLAYBOY 


310 


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Try the Sigma 80-200mm zoom 
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free: (B00) 321-9985. 


and refrigerate until well chilled 
Note: You'll probably have some salad 

left over. It makes а fine luncheon dish 

accompanied by hard-cooked eges. 


VIN S PEARS 


8 lage 

1 bottle fu 

9 cups sugar 

2-inch cinnamon stick 

2 teaspoons vanilla extract 

Use wi ed pan, preferably 
enamel or stainless steel, large enough 
to accommodate pears in single laver. (If 
ry, do pears in two batches.) Peel 
s, leaving them whole, with their 
stems. Combine wine and sug: 
and bring to boil, stirring oc 
Reduce hcat and si 
peeled pears and cinn 
and return to si 
minutes, or until pears : 
pierced with small knife. Don't over- 
cook—they shouldn't be mushy. Remove 
cinnamon stick and add vanilla to syrup. 
Cool pcars in syrup, then refrigcrate un- 
til ready to use. Spoon some syrup over 
cach pear when serving. 

Note: If pears are done in two batches, 
remove first pears from pan when cooked 
and transfer to bowl. Return syrup in 
pan to boil and add second batch of 
pears. When done, remove cinnamon 
stick, add vanilla and return first batch. 
of pears to syrup. 


pe Anjou or Bose pears 
bodied dry red wine 


putes, Add. 


mon stick; cover 
Cook I0 to 15 
tender wher 


ROQUEFORT DELICE, 


Y4 1b. Roquefort cheese 

14 1b. (1 stick) butter 

1 tablespoon cognac 

% cup heavy cream 

14-14 cup finely chopped pecans. 

Let cheese and butter stand at room 
temperature until softened. Combine in 
bowl add cognac and mix thoroughly: 
beat until very smooth. Whip cream stiff. 
Lightly fold into cheese mixture. Spoon 

nto lightly oiled 2cup bowl or mold. 
at least З hours. Dip bowl quickly 
n hot water, cover with serving pla 
and invert to unmoll. Sprinkle with 
pecans, pressing them lightly into sur- 
face, and return to refrigerator until 
needed. Serve with pears and crisp un- 
salted crackers. 


UNICUM DIGESTIF 


Europeans generally take Unicum 
bitters neat, after a lavish dinner ог 
evening's indulgence. For American pal- 
ates, it may be bener to pour a little 
Unicum on the rocks. Add lemon twist 
and perhaps a light splash of soda 

If your guest list expands, you might 
consider a buffet, As it happens, the 
menu given lends itself very well to such 
service. If you do a bullet, forgo the 
sherry and pour champagne Irom thc 
beginning. After all, Christmas comes 


but once a year. 


REMINGTON'S XLR WILL 
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There's nothing uncommon about money- 
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Obviously, to make a guarantee of this nature 


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3 The unique Intercept cutter, a significant 


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And to ensure thorough closeness, the XLR 
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Yet. despite all this efficiency. comfort is 
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The two ultra-thin flexible screens that stand 
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What all this technology adds up to is a shav- 
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PLAYBOY 


312 


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gatan enar utere 
he het Ewa, At 20) o61 


EROS AND POWER 


(continued from page 212) 
sexual drive that gave Ike his impetus 
toward power, though it may have 
helped. No mı his hunger for 
Presidential power, whether it be some- 
one with as strong sexual drives as Roose- 
velt, Kennedy and Johnson. or as weak 
drive as Nixon. Whatever the choice 
made, it is not even a choice between 
Eros and power, for Presidential power 
self already cont os principle 
to the full, 


s the 


. 
My first insight into Jc 


F. Kennedy's 
blend of power through 
meeting a beautiful young woman who 
had been his mistress while he was a 
Congressman from Massachusetts. She 
helped him in his campaigns and they 
talked of getting married. Then he saw 
the chance for his move to the 5 Я 
as а pathway to the Presidency—and 
everything changed. As а Senator, and a 
possible President, he would need a wife 
appropriate to his ambition—and my 
friend evidently didnt measure up. 
She was bitter at being dropped, yet 
like almost all of Kennedy's 
knew how powerdrive 
still in love with him. 

Unlike Eisenhower 


he w 


Я шы his politi- 
al Em and his sexual escapades, w 
infused with the dr 
culine identity. Part of his inheritance 
from his father—Wall Street buccaneer 
Joseph Р, Kennedy—was a competitive- 
ness that extended not only to career but 


carly in 1958, he 
ched on his Preside 1 
being careful about his 


public image. We spoke at 
author luncheon in Cleve 
his Profiles in Courage. 1 about my Amer 
ica as a Civilization. А full house had 
gathered to take the measure of the am 
hitious young Senator, including a pha 
lanx of Ohio politicians, as well as the 
usual literary ladies. He entered amidst 
stir of excitement—the kind that sur- 
rounds a ^comer—and already there 
was the mark of the young prince on 
Speaking first, with some generous 
words about my 1 
Iul to distinguish bi a us, saying that 
had a degree of freedom in tak 
ing militant positions that someone like 
himself—with the burden of responsi- 
bility as a political figure—couldn't do. 
It struck me as a curious way to present 
а book on political courage, and I scrib 
bled some notes to that effect on my pad 
But I had no chance to use them. When 
he finished his speech, he left fast, taking 
no chances, before 1 could кау any 
thing that might involve him in contro 
versy. He was being politically canny. 
Was that an augury of the kind of 


book-and. 
nd, he about 


alism, he was care- 


w 


AUNIQUE COMBINATION OF LIGHT, SOUND, TIME, AND GENIUS. 


“1 can't believe it^ 

That's the typical reaction 
when people hold a Casio calcu- 
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not to feel a sense of wonder 
when you're holding a calcu- 
lator the size of a credit card 
that also tells time. Or when a 
compact silver case begins to 
chirp to remind you of an 
appointment. 

Casio genius has joined cal- 
culator and timing functions 
with space and energy saving 
Liquid Crystal Displays (LCD's) 

to produce 
- 
| C=) clesshown here 
To begin 


the small mira- 
Cees with, there's 


the ST-24 Time 
sa aaae | Card It'sthe 
5а 2 282 88 | sizeandshape 
а кака к ofa credit 
f card, and be- 
sides serv- 


(cen 


ing as a four function calculator, 
it tells time using the European 
system(13:00, 14:00, etc.). It also 
servesasastopwatch, and has 
two timers that “beep” to signal 
you. With leatherette case, the 
Time Card costs 539.95 


(57.24) 


The LC-78 Mini Card (not 
shown) is the same size as the 
Time Card, but contains calcu- 
lator functions only. $29.95. 

Then there's the CQ-81. Not 
only does it serve as a portable 
desk top calculator that easily 
fits into an attache case, it's also 
analarm clock with two timers 
and V?" high numerals. 

The CQ-81 also features a 
battery life of 10,000 hours, 


which frees you from worrying 
about the bat- | — 
teries for at ي‎ 
least 1/2 years. 
$39.95. Í 

Finally, we 
have the МО-5. 
Closed, it re- 
veals the time 
through a win- 
dow in the at- 
tractive case. 
Open, it contains а 4 function 
calculator. A timer. Two 
independent alarms. And a 
calendar that displays year, 
month, date, and the day 
of the week. An awesome 
achievement that weighs 
only 2.6 ounces. With a soft, 
suede-like pouch, $69.95. 

See your Casio dealer. He 
has all four miracles in stock. 


CASIO. 


We don't just build good calculators. 
We invent them. 


(mes) 


Casio, Inc. Consumer Products Division, Executive Offices: 15 Gardner Road, Fairfield, NJ. 07006 New Jersey (201) 575-7400 Los Angeles (213) 923-4564 


313 


PLAYBOY 


*She can't draw. I can't paint. 
But no one can say we're not creative” 


“We found theres no need to be able to paint or draw in 
order to make use of a lively imagination. That urge to be 
creative can be satisfied in any number of ways. But 
the one we find most exciting is photography. 


“What we needed was a good camera. We spoke 
to a couple of our friends who knew about 
cameras. They suggested we buy a Nikon. We 
thought they were kidding . . .after all, we were 
only beginners. So, we went to a camera store 
and spoke to the dealer. He showed us the new 
Nikon FM. It turned out to be a real eye-opener 

..compact, lightweight, and easy to 
operate. And, while it didn't cost. 
nearly as much as the professional. 
Nikon F2 , it offered that same 
Nikon quality. When we held it 
in our hands, we both felt ах 
if it were made just for us! The other 
cameras we looked at just couldn't 
compare. Another thing we liked— 
there is a motor drive and nearly 
60 Nikkor lenses available 
Jor the FM. So, as we get 
more involved in photography. 
we can try just about anything! 


“Now we're having the 
time of our lives with our new 
Nikon FM. The pictures are 
sharp, the colors vivid, and 
the opportunity for expression 
and creativity unlimited? 


For details on the Nikon FM, check Ihe Yellow Pages for the 
Nikon dealer nearest you. Ask him also about the traveling 
Nikon School. Ot write to Nikon Inc., Dept. N-37P Garden 
City. МУ 11510. Subsidiary of Ehrenreich Photo-Optical 
Industries. Inc. 80 (In Canada: Anelophoto td. PQ.) 


Nikon FM 


“Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose is the largest. . . ." 


315 


PLAYBOY 


316 


President he would make? Only in part. 
He turned out to be liberal in his pub- 
lic attitudes, graceful as a phrasemaker, 
Cold Warish in his foreign policy, com- 
petitive throughout, eager to take on op- 
ponents who challenged his sense of 
masculinity. whether the steel companies 
at home or Khrushchev or Castro abroad 

He was a frustrated man in the Pre 
dency. Т had a talk with him in the 
White House during his first year in 
office. He was the central luminary of a 
studded constellation of liberal ce- 

s around him. Going to Washing- 
in those days was like going back for 
1 college: You saw everyone 
nger was Press Sec- 
chlesinger was Intellec- 


п Residence, McGeorge Bundy was 
Assistant to 


Special the President for 
Nati Frankfurter was 
over in the Supreme Court, Harvard and 
MIT and the Boston Mafia were every- 
where, 

Yet the man who greeted me in the 
Oval Office—half shyly and with some 
wariness—seemed to lack the gusto of 
either Teddy or Franklin Roosevelt, his 


two patrician predecessors, He spent half 
the time complaining about the way 


Congress blocked hin 
mea 


on measure after 
sure, with an unholy alliance of Re- 
publicans and соп Democrats 
gainst him. He I: 
son's skill of maneuver and persuasion 
in his relations with Congress and with 
party leaders. 

At the Vienna summit, Khrushchev 
had tried to bully the new young Presi- 
dent, and Kennedy was still smarting 
from the hectoríng tone the Russian һай 
used toward him. But what stood out in 
his memory of the meeting—as he de- 


scribed it to me—was his own offer to 
moon 


Khrushchev, "Let us go to the 


The cagerness to сс 


togethe 


transcend that brought him to the 
ad made him embrace the con 
the Berlin Wall and of 


dency 
frontations of 
Laos and Vi 
in the space race even while he 
oller of a joint venture in space, which 
Khrushchev cither spurned or ignored. 

From th 
to Fidel Casto take. on 
meaning. Castro was, for Kennedy, more 
than the ruler of a small island 90 miles 
olf the coast of the U. S. He was young. a 
revolutionary, highly literate, obsessed 
with power. He had many women, he 
was the very embodiment of the Latin 
tical and sexual machismo. 
¢ respects, he was Kennedy's arch- 
rival, for Kennedy, too, had a feel for 
power, was highly literate and was seen 
by American youth as a fresh symbol of 
new American energies. And he, too, had 
many women whom—like Castro—he 
fitted into the daily and nightly demands 
of being a ruler. 

Could Kennedy's resolve to get rid of 


a somber new 


the Casuo-Cuba problem, however ex- 
treme the means, somehow be related to 
this? From start to end, the Kennedy- 
Castro duel was a story of mingled in- 
trigue, squalor, high comedy, nuclear 
dramatic and finally tragedy. It couldn't 
have been possible except between two 
such men who, regardless of the differ- 
ence in their power base, were so alike in 
their crucial traits. 

It was Kennedy's bad luck to fall heir 
to the Bay of Pigs adventure, illcon- 
ceived by the CIA under Eisenhower, 
which he further botched. It was an 
ominous start, 1 was in Cuba for а week, 
in the period between the B 
nd the Missile Crisis, and 
Castro's five-hour speech on the anniver- 
sary of the Revolution, which was а long 
defiance of Kennedy. 1 wrote it up as 
such. But I didn’t know at the time— 
how could we know?—that the interlac- 
ing of the two men would lead to Ken- 
nedy's finest hour, but also to his fateful 


involvement with assassination plans and 
finally, perhaps, to his own death. 
The shining hour came during the 


Cuban Missile Crisis, when Kennedy 
acted with strength but also with a disci- 
plined and responsible restraint. Using 
the blockade to say that the Russians 
couldn't complete their missile base in 
Cuba, he also gave Khrushchev and. Cas- 
tro a chance to save face. It suggested the 
kind of President he could have made 
had lic been given five more ycars. 
Kennedy took the political wars and 
competitions of the world seriously, as 
any President has to do if he is not an 
innocent. Only in that sense was he a 
"cold wi ^ He was no warloving 
monster. He was stirred to a competition 
with Soviet world influence not because 
he wanted to flex the nation's. muscles 
but because his sense of life as struggle 
carried over 
believed that ideas are weapon: 
political war is better than act 
Like his father 
id with the erotic rel 
ip as а form of power. He seemed 
to tread the edge of danger. He 
lived ictzscheam life, dangerously, 
and, like the Ropewalker in Nietzsche's 
parable, he died a Nietzschean death. 
Shortly after Kennedy's death, I came 
across an interview in the Miami papers 
with Senator Smathers of Florida and 
was startled by what it meant. Kennedy 
and Smathers had been companions in 
their bachelor days, when they double- 
dated the most attractive women in 
Washington. Smathers knew about the 
CIA plans to assassinate Castro and saw 
the connection with Kennedy's killing, 
but few took him seriously. Since the 
Warren Report, there has been a ghoul- 
ish w of theories about Ke 
death, with much ingenuity spent on a 
number of conspiracy theories. It is 
clearer now that we were wrong in think- 


war, 
he had an obsession 


with powe: 


alway: 


ing we had to choose between the con- 
spiracy and no-conspiracy versions. It 
could have been both—that the shooting 
was Oswald's alone but that he may have 
had a Cuban control, and perhaps (as 
Edward Jay Epstein now seems to be 
lieve) a Russian one as well. If so, it 
could be Castro's revenge for the CIA 
and Mafa efforts to remove him from 
the Cuban scene by removing him trom 
life. This was also President Johnson's 
guess, as he told it confidentially to sev- 
eral reporters—and he was in 

to guess well. It is one version that п 
sense politically, even while it marks а 
shambles morally. 

What was it that trapped a liberal hu- 
manist President like Kennedy into per- 
mitting a СТА-Маба partnership, with 
Castro as target? The question also poses 
itself also about Kennedy's use of the 
CIA to get President Diem of South 
Vietnam out of the way by supporting 
an army revolt against him—which re 
sulted unsurprisingly in his death. 

I think he had a romantic Sturm und 
Drang take on the Presidency and a fas- 
cination with danger. His older brother, 
Joseph, Jr., whom their father had first 
Scheduled for the Presidency, died in а 
secret surveillance flight over Europe, 
and Kennedy himself came out of the w 
scarred from his PT-boat adventure. He 
felt that danger was his destiny. There 
were many young men like him who had 
served in the OSS during the war or who 
joined the CIA right after—young lib- 
erals or conservatives from Ivy League 
colleges, who put their country ahead of 
everything and who found the covert not 
squalid but romantic. If Kennedy had 
not gone into politics, he might have 
become one of that group. He felt at 
home with them, and his rage over the 
Bay of Pigs fiasco was all the greater 
because the fiasco was the product of 
clumsy Intelligence. 

. 

Lyndon Johnson wanted everything, 
and wanted it right away, He drove 
others ruthlessly, but he w en 
as few Presidents have been, by inner 
hungers and insecurities that his brusque 
outward energies couldn't conceal 

While he was still Senator and М 
ity Lead e a piece critical of a 
compromise he had made on a voting 
formula to end filibustering. He came 
back at me with a sizzling letter оп my 
misreading of his civil rights record, my 
distortion of his motives and, in general, 
on the idiocy of liberal commentators on 
any issue affecting the South, 

At the 1960 Democratic Convention, 
there were few of us who gave him much 
chance for anything except the quadren- 
bid for the nomination 
nore a matter of ritual 
than of realism. But (as Papa Joe sharp- 
ly understood) Kennedy as a Catholic 
and a liberal needed a running mate to 


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help him with the Southern Baptist and 
conservative vote. Most of my friends at 
es and 
newspapermen d by Ken- 
nedy's choice of Johnson. T wasn't. It 
struck me as cold and even cynical poli- 
tics—but it proved to be good politics. 
When Kennedy was killed, 1 mourned 
for him as others did, with the Whit- 
manesque sense of a captain “fallen cold 
and dead," but I didn't follow the Ken 
nedy inner circle in their scorn for his 
graceless successor. True he was a Texas 
cowboy, not a Camelot hero-prince, but I 
liked frontier 
гог and even the excesses and the atro- 


the convention, among the dele; 


were outra 


Johnson's. Southwestern 


cious 


ste that went along with it. 

1 opted for Johnson, against Barry 
Goldwater, whenever 1 could during the 
1964 campaign. I recall a debate I had 
with a brilliant conservative, Wilmoore 
Kendall, before a meeting of high-pow- 
ered publicrelations advisors during the 
campaign, Kendall attacked Johnson on 
every possible ground, but he reserved 
the suangest for the end: that it “takes 
balls” to run the nation's foreign policy 
in the face of Soviet expansionism, that 
Goldwater had them and that Johnson 
simply wasn't masculine enough to pos 
sess them. 1 had earlier heard the same 
argument from William Yandell Elliott, 
who had been Kissinger's mentor at Har 
vard. 1 cite these minor episodes as 
foomotes to my proposition that conserv 


atives were even more fascinated. than 
liberals by the links between. power and 
Obviously, they 


the challenges of power and 


the erotic. diflered on 


who met 
with what sexual equipment 

Johnson ran the Pr 
he had run his 


dency much as 


Texas ranch, апа when 
he retired, he тап his ranch much as he 
had run the Presidency—with a whip- 
cracking braggadocio, an infinite atten- 
tion to details, ап intrusive assumption 
that those who worked for him owed him 
every minute of every day. He labored 
under the spell of a great myth of con- 
trol that often goes with an underlying 
insecurity 

Doris K arvard graduate 
student to whom Johnson took a shine, 
nd he confided things to her that he had 
never confided to Richard Goodwin or 
Eric Goldman or John Roche—cach of 
whom had been his house intellectual 
for а brief period. She wrote up. her 
psychohistorical theory—that Johnson's 
insecurity came out of his recoil from a 
too-lominating father and his attach- 
ment to a too-loving mother 

But | suspect it is Texas, as much as 
Freud, that explains Johnson, who was 
no New Frontiersman but an old fron- 
tiersman. The individualists of the Texas 
frontier wanted freedom from the state, 
but only in order t0 have total control 
over their baroníal domains. 


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Lyndon Johnson as Senate Majority 
Leader was a great controlling lawmaker 
As President, in the hail of civil rights 
and other Johnson legislation before the 
escalating war paralyzed him, he out- 
Hammurabied Hammurabi. As he got 
deeper into the war, he still kept his 
passion for control, Where he felt supe 
rior to Kennedy was in his pride in being 
a “can-do President" He dung to that 
selLimage as a double magus, able to 
keep up the liberal legislation yet control 
it. But when he tried to expand the war 
yet keep it limited—from involving the 


Chinese or going nuclear—he failed. 

If we take the image of the two detec 
tives—the bad guy and the good guy— 
who coerce and wheedle a confession 
from a suspect, Johnson used the tactics 
of both. He used artful persuasion and 
brutal crackdown together, but instead 
of combining them (as Е.К. com 
bined the [ox and the lion), he commut 
ed between them. On Mondays and 
Wednesdays. he found himself derided 
for being a wheeler-dealer; on Tuesdays 
and Thursdays, for being an unfeeling ty 
rant: and on weekends, for being a boor 

He would have done better to make a 
choice between his selves—either not to 
expand the war at the start of his term 
or to end it as Nixon ended it, with the 
carrot of the Paris negotiations and the 
stick of the mining and bombing at 
Haiphong and Hanoi. He couldn't do it 


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319 


PLAYBOY 


320 


because, while he willed the ends, he 
couldn't will the means, 

His whole personality and style led 
him to the incremental rather than the 
total as a method. As Pat Moynihan has 
put it, he used “little increments of pres- 
sure" to achieve his ends. It worked with 
Congress. It didn't work with the Com- 
munists in Hanoi. Johnson had that 
h to lead others" that William Blake 
speaks of. But his ferocity of will had 
limits. That is why he turned out to bea 
Joud talker, an energetic actor, an omniy- 
orous devourer of power, ап omnipres- 
ent watcher over his domain—but not a 
destructive Nixon was a destructive 
man. Johnson knew enough to stop short 
of destructiveness but didn't know how 
to reach greatness, 

1 have two poignant memories of him 
in this period, One is of an evening at 
dinner, arranged at his own home—but 
clearly at John instigation—by Max 
reedman, an English journalist. The 
guests were a formidable атау of pub- 
lishers and editors: Freedman and I were 
the only working commentators. Johnson 
was there, darting in and out among the 
tables with his hearty handclasps and 
bear hugs. But it happened to be the day 
of the Dominican Republic cr 
intervention, which made Johnson com- 
mute between the d party and his 
temporary command post In time, he 
settled down to answer questions 
about the Vietnam war. which he did 
with a swagger that couldn't conceal the 
dog of anxiety beneath the skin. Hubert 
Humphrey, whose Vice-Presidential creed 
was that he had a constituency of only 


on's 


s and 


ne 


our 


"Doctor, 1 have this fear of fly 


one, later tried to put Johnson's argu- 
ments more moderately and palatably, 
but the evening was a failure. 

Thad a great sense of sadness about it. 
Here was the President of the United 
States, head of the greatest power mass 
in the history of mankind. Here he was, 
overtalking,  overurging,  overarguing, 
ove ig. Here he was, and here were 
the pres lords—for that is what they 
were. They were confused and perplexed 
and they wanted him to lead them. He, 
in turn, was in too deep and he wanted 
them to . Neither he nor they 
got what they wanted. 

My other major memory was of John- 
son during the darkest hour of his Presi- 
dency, at the time of the Tet offensive. E 
l arranged for an interview with him 
through John Roche. 

We sat in the Oval Office together for 
better than two hours, by that bank of 
telephones that was the means and sym- 
bol of his connection with his imperium, 
the umbilical cord tying to the 
mother source of his power—his com: 
munications grid. As we talked, he kept 
watching the shiny buttons on his phone 
bank, and as button after button lit up, 
he reached over with his lanky Texas 
frame, spoke briefly, quictly, command- 
ingly ment and 
turned k to me to finish the inter- 
rupted sentence. 

Thad the cerie picture of a man trying 
desperately to hold his world together by 
electronic filaments. I tried several times 
to thank him and leave, since T had a 
lecture to do and had to make a plane. 
But he was like some Ancient M ет, 
with the albatross of the accursed war 


Г 


ng!" 


around his neck, 
oner until he could finish his story. 

Later, in a report on the interview un- 
der the head of “Johnson at Bay." I had 
to write as I had to, not as he would 
have wanted. I related the argument he 
had made to me. I added my skepticism 
about it. I drew him as a lost leader at 
bay, with the hounds of war and the 
press surrounding him. A historian of 
the Tet offensive later cited our inter- 
view as Johnson's last desperate effort to 
make his view of the war prevail, Not 
long afterward, he took himself out of 
the contest for re-clectioi 
no longer control either the war itself or 
the ravaged society and. hostile counter- 
culture that were the response to it, he 
retired from the struggle and died of a 
broken heart. 


nd he held me a p 


. Since he could 


. 

Like others of my time and political 
clan, my first take on Richard Nixon w: 
hostile. To win his Congressional seat, 
he d ty-tricks job on my Yale class- 
mate Jerry Voorhis, and later in his 
Senate race, he did an even dirtier one 
on my friend Helen Gahagan Douglas. 
While I didn't take the stra 
lie on the HissChambers 
thought Hiss lied lustily and Ch 
exaggerated monstrously—the Nixon role 
in the case stuck in my craw. It was more 
obvious than a Ву in a honeypot that 
he was feeding on the case, using it to 
get to the Senate and the Vice-Presi 
dency, and that he was capable of 
finite trickery, 

It was Alger Hiss, minor bureaucrat, 
clumsy amateur at unimportant pro- 
Communist document filching, who made 
Richard Nixon and thereby made hi: 
tory. 1 was a devoted attendant at both 
Hiss trials, and one night in my New 
York apartment, I listened to Louis 
Weiss, one of the br behind the Hiss 
defense, mapping our the disastrous strat- 
egy of the second trial, which tried to 
turn Chambers into a case history for 
psychoanalysis. The trials kept Nixon in 
the headlines, made him an ogre for the 
liberals but also a folk hero for the many 
who worried about the betrayal of secrets 
in а nuclear аве. Without Hiss, I am 
certain that Nixon couldn't have made 
it. Eisenhower chose him as running 
mate because he needed a young cons 
ative who wasn't McCarthy but who was 
already a headline name and could bring 
in the McCarthy vote. 


And the liberals? Nixon was our code 
word for the adversary. We salivated like 
his 


Pavlovs dog at the mention of 
name. During the Nixon-fund [raca 
hoped against hope that E 
would drop him, though realistically 
was pretty sure he wouldn't. (I still have 
somewhere a dollar bill with Scotty 
Reston's name on it, paying off the bet 
he lost on that to me) During both of 
Ike's illnesses in his first term, we all 


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dency. Twenty years before Watergate, 
we somehow had his number. 

On one score we misjudged him—his 
viability. He may have had his six crises, 
but he had more than а cat’ 
lives, He depicted himself asa T 
had rebelled against the reigning di 
ties on the liberal Olympus, a Prome- 
thean figure stealing—if not fire, then 
sulphur—from the gods, Fer these whe 
believe there 
Truman as Trueman), he w: 
jek sson, with much of Mach 
him and пог a little of the Old Nick 

While he was politically durable, he 
was his own worst enemy. Не lost the 
1960 election mainly because, in his van- 
ity about his debating skills, he gave 
Kennedy а credibility in the debates 
—as а young Catholic outsider—he 
would not otherwise have had. But after 
his dolorous defeat in the 1962 California 
governorship race, he made his “You 
won't have Richard Nixon то kick 
around anymore” statement to the re- 
porters, and we all made the mistake of 
writing him off as а hasbeen 

We were wrong. His next six years, 
until 1968, were his wandering-in-the- 
desert. years, I was reminded of Arnold 
Toynbec's striking phrase "withdrawal 
and return." Churchill did it after King 


nine 
in who. 


Edward's abdication, and DeCaulle— 
who was Nixon's greatest identity fig- 
ure—d after he retired from his 
] term as premier. 

During those six desert years of Ni 
on's wanderings, our little band of liber- 
als saw only what it wanted to see. He 
struck us as a figure of fun, sheathed in 
pathos, with shifty eyes and a nervous 

igh and scraggly hair and а nose 
heaven-sent for the cartoonists. We pic- 
ted him, beak and claws, as some 
Neanderthal creature who had become 
an extinct species swept away by history. 
When he moved from California to a 
New York law firm, we missed the cue: 
We saw him as losing his California 
power base, when we should have seen 
him as invading the Eastern establish- 
ment, to rid himself of his old political 
associations. 

The 1964 Republican 
should have been the giveaway, if we had 
not been too blind to see it. Nixon 
craftily let his old enemy, Nelson Rocke- 
feller, fight it out with Barry Goldwater's 
rightwing delegates. [n the campaign, 
he kept his party solidarity with Gold- 
water, though he knew it was a hapless 
and hopeless cause. But in the interven- 
ing four years, he wooed and helped 
Republicans from both camps in Con- 
gress and Statehouses and gurhered col- 
lectible political debts. Thus, when T 
watched him at the 1968 con- 


Convention 


a 


vention, he could present himself а 
moderate middleroad figure between 
Nelson Rockefeller and Ronald Reagan 
and overwhelm both. It was an unfor- 
gettable lesson in political strategy by a 
er politician who made us all school- 
boys in dunce caps. 

I tell this story with sadness, If there 
had been more liberals and moderates 
among the Republicans, then someone 
more adroit in national politics than 
Nelson Rockefeller and Barry Goldwater 
could have emerged between 1960 and 
1968, and Nixon's path back to. power 
would have been made much harder. 
It was largely the fault of the liberal 
intellectual and media elites, who polar- 
ized the two parties and couldn't brook 
moderates in either. On this score I was, 
1 fear, as much at fault as the others. 

Nixon's Inau ation Day a hostile 
one, with Washington blanketed by anti- 
war posters. But at the start, he showed 
Himself less an ideologist than we had 
thought. He had three main themes in 
his first term—to phase out the Vietnam 
war. to end the Cold War with Russia 
and China. to mullle the social divisive- 
ness of the Sixties. He had hard going on 
the first, did well on the second, came a 
cropper on the third. 

No one, whether among liberals or 
es, was prepared for Nixon's 
n-policy gambit, Here we all were, 
busy taking him apart and explain 


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gs of action made him 
and lo, he comes up with Henry 
Kissinger—close advisor to Nelson Rocke- 
feller—as the prime itect of his 
foreign policy. No psychohistory had 
prepared us for that event. The liberal 
commentators were still lost in the Nix 
on of the Hiss case, the Checkers specch, 
the Caracas riots and the “kitchen de. 
bate" with Khrushchev. 

It took some doing to undo my own 
obsessive view of him and shift my per- 
spective. The fact of the Nixon-Kiss 
partnership in shaping the foreign policy 
helped. 1 thought of it as an odd-couple 
diplomacy, in which the two partners 
were strangely unlike but formed a re- 
markable working team. Nixon һай 
the power and found in Kissinger the 
scholar-diplomar who showed him what 
to do with it ager had the ideas and 
found in Nixon the hard-bitten politi- 
cian who would give him the power base 
for trying them out, The two were like 
individual scissors that can't cut until 
they are joined. 

I saw Kissinger a number of times, at 
some length. In a TV interview with 
David Frost, Nixon tried later to shrink 


Kissinger's role. He did the same in his 
Memoirs. Ungenerously, he sec 
saying, “I did it alone. 


counter to everything 11 

nger and everything the Kissinger 
watchers believed. Looking back at the 
strange partnership, we must wonder at 
the passion for power that made two 
such different men work together and 
stick together. 

Nixon was ill at ease with. Kissinger's 
unconccaled sexuality, his worldliness, 
his declaration that "pow 
disiac." He w 


is an aphro- 
so put off by the heavy 
t of the immigrant Jew 
who had not learned late 
adolescence and had then learned it all 
too well, with the rolling periods of 18th 
Century English prose. The Iwo men 
had a grudging admiration for the qual- 
the other that each lacked, and 
they managed to swallow the rest per- 
force. Kissinger knew—as he several 
times told me—of Nixon's anti-Semitic 
streak, as he knew of his mean-spirited- 
ness, but he ako knew that, once com- 
mitted, Nixon would see any venture in 
power politics through to the end. Nix- 
on, in turn, knew that ger still had 
ıdemic's hesitancies and second 
his. But it delighted him to steal 
this luminary out of the Milky Way— 
right out from under the noses of the 
vard group and the foreign-policy 
establishment. 

As for Spiro Agnew, | disliked him 
from the start, My column about him, 
when Nixon picked him as running mate 
in 1968, was one of the sharpest 1 ever 
wrote, Nixon used him as a weapon to 
keep the liberal press in line, but his 
speech on the “effete intellectuals” — 


english unt 


iten for him | 
Safire—boomeranged. 

There was a curious episode when 1 
was invited to the White House to 
dinner and reception for Prince Philip 
President Nixon was in а wooing mood. 
and more cordial to me than my pieces 
about him had warranted. Among thc 
speakers was Agnew, and, to my surprise, 
he attacked someone who had called his 
speech on the press an example of “the 
rhetoric of a college sophomore." That 
someone was myself. Afterward, he sought 
me out as the culprit. "I don't mind yo 


ely by William 


hitting me when I'm wrong. But when 
hy don't you lib- 


1 do something right, 
eral fellows give me some encomiui 

In time, Agnew was forced out of office 
because of ch: 1 wrong. 
doing as governor of Maryland. Nixon 
was forced out for the Watergate cover- 
up. Agnew was caught in an ordinary 
bribery operation, receiving kickbacks 
from contractors on state jobs, to which 
his defense was, in effect, that it was com- 
mon practice and went with the territory. 
Nixon was caught in a trap of his own 
making, conceived in arrogance and car- 
icd though with a contemptuous belief 
that somehow he would prove himself 
bove the law because his exploits in 
foreign statecraft carried him beyond 
the law. If he had not resigned. he would 
have been impeached for “H 
and misdeme 


‚ they both ended with the 
feeling that the Jews were part of their 
downfall, especially Agnew, who as gov- 
ernor had been close to Jewish contrac- 
tors and their intermediaries. When the 
squeeze was put on them by the Federal 
Attorney and they talked to save their 
skin, Agnew felt betrayed by them, He 
w them not as the sleazy human char- 
acters they were but as Jews. How deeply 
this had eaten into his consciousness be 
came clear 


ater, when he wrote a spy 
novel in which pro-Israeli American Jews 
got a h Like many others 
who read the book, 1 shuddered when I 
rellected that this man had for six years 
ta cobweb-thin remove from the 
су. HE Nixon had resigned а year 
before he did. we would have had Spiro 
Agnew in the White House. Agnew, who 
is vindictive as well as prehensile er 
forgave Nixon for (ailing to support him 
when he was in his time of troubles. 
During the 1972 Republicin Conven- 
tion at Miami, | made friends with sev- 
eral minor members of the White House 
stalf, when the full shadow of Watergate 
had not yet fallen on Nixon. He cut a 
jaumty figure during the 1972 camp: 
—partly through the diriy-tricks op- 
eration to eliminate tougher opponents 
such as Edmund Muskie—presented him 
(in the form of George McGovern) with 
a candidate casy to trounce 
During the campaign, 1 asked Bill 


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Safire to соте to my Brandeis University 
seminar on politics and speak for his can- 
didate. Safire carried it off brilliantly, to 
the dismay of my students and colleagues 
who were proMcGovern. Safire told me 
cheerfully that he knew almost as lit 
ue about Watergate as 1 did and that the 
standing instructions from the palace 
guard were to play it down, to urge every 
one to wait for the court to act and to 
stress that the President was not involved. 
Soon after the Inauguration, I got a note 
from Nixon, out of the blue, about a col 
umn of mine on foreign policy. It wasn’t 
much as a piece, and the letter clearly 
made too much of it. I sensed Nixon's 
worry. He was fence mending. I wrote 
asking for an interview. but never got 
response. 

Thus, there way a special irony for me 
when 1 listened to John I 
the White House "enemies list" 
and heard my I felt relieved. It 
would have been humiliating if I had 
not been on the list. Yet 
enemy of the republic. Something I wrote 
must have infuriated someone in the 


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n reading 


from 
name 


I was not an 


исе guard, or even the President himself. 
I learned what was 2t the heart of 
Watergate corruption—the incapacity to 
distinguish between political opponents 
and enemies of the st 

Nixon was sliding downhill, and from 
the time of the McCord letter to Judge 


the 


" 


Sirica, offering to testify to get a short- 
er sentence, Nixon no longer functioned 
as President but only as a man trying 
desperately to save himself. 

Nixon is not an easy figure for a psy- 
chohistorical study. The commentators 
and scholars who have tried it thus far 
have mostly borched the job by using a 
crude psychoanalyti model, А more 
tractable one, from developmental. psy- 
chology, would see Nixon as а human 
being under stress, with a life history 
that he brought ta his Presidential tasks, 
and not as à. mechanical monster crip- 
pled by his experiences in infancy and 
childhood, 

As I read. him, he was the product of 
our age—eaten up with ambition, hun- 
gry for power, competitive to every pre 
hensile finger and toe. He was in essence 
ап outsider—a Republican in a Demo- 
cratic ега, conservative in a liberal one, 
an introvert in an age of extroverts, a 
foreign-policy buff in a polity of pressure 
groups and domestic i basically 
asexual in an age of hedonism, He used 
. Without bei: 

Billy Graham 
without gen- 
d the tradi 
He felt 
beset by enemies. some of whom were 


мез, 


everyone and everythin 


truly religious, he used 
and the old-time religios 
uine values of his own, he u 


weapon. 


tional value system as 


truly so, while others were enlarged by 
his sense of encircleme 
himself with a palace р 


t, He surrounded 
with whom 


ard 


his common bond was the prevailing 
sense of the sons of bitches to be over- 
come. For them, as for him, polities was 
the science of the enemy, and they fcd 
one another's indignation and hatred of 
the adversary and exulted in their tri 
umphs over him. That was the White 
House atmosphere. Tt accounted for the 
rigid controls handed over to Haldeman 
and Ehrlichman, as to а security guard. 
It accounted also for thc enemies list. 
Being basically а reactive personality, 
Nixon was likely to overreact, especially 
to highly symbolic figures. Daniel Ells 
berg was his béte noire, and as much the 
cause of his fall as anyone, including his 
formal political enemies. Ellsberg was, in 
Nixon's eyes, a turncoat who had learned 


the war's secrets in the State Department 
and bad turned against it, pirating the 
Pentagon papers and playing imo the 


hands of the enemy. He was an intellec 
tual. He used and was used by the media. 
Не was an Easterner, He was a product 
of the activist movements and counter- 
He м 
perhaps a radical He was a Jew. In 
short, he was the converg 
the whole constellation of 
Nixon faced with hostility 
Nixon overreueted, first by trying to 
stop the publication of the Pentagon 
papers, then by releasing the “plumbers” 
on Ellsberg and on other leaks, going so 


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зв knew how Nixon was coming apart, 


ar as 10 rifle the files of Ellsberg's psy. 
chiatrist. It is true that the immediate 
Watergate incident was part of a secret 
operation by CREEP—Nixon's re-clec 
tion committee—to gather intelligence 
for the campaign. Specifically, й may 
е been looking for evidence of a link- 
age between Castro and McGovern. 

But while four more years of power 
formed Nixon's conaete goal, in the 
depths of his psyche he was lashing out 
the whole climate of the Sixties and 
its гірой. To him, Ellsberg and the 
Pentagon papers represented a giant ri, 
olf, with drastic consequences for the 
nation as well as himself. He convinced 
himself that a search-and-destroy оре 
tion against infiltrators was justified by 
reason of state, even if it had to be but- 
tressed by secret operations that on any 
other occasion would be illegal, 

He a man who prided himself on 
his self-discipline and self-control. Thus, 
when he reacted against events, his reac- 
tions were not resilient but britle. Intent 
on never bending, he broke ler the 
deep strain. As he felt himself increas- 
ingly cornered, he searched more f 
tically for some way out of the maze into 
which he had locked himself. 
after the Supreme € u 
mously that he must surrender the tell- 
tale tapes, there was no way out for 
him except to choose between a hopeless 
impeachment fight and resignation 

Yet even in those latter days, when his 
rope was getting ever shorter, he could 
still be roused by a great foreign-policy 
challenge. That was true of the Yom 
Kippur war, when Israel was caught. by 
the Arab surprise auack and needed 
weapons with which to fight back. There 
was Jetha ng between 
troubled Kissinger, who wanted to help 
Israel, and the Undersecretary of De- 
fense, who had bi 
some pro-Arab leanings. The Israelis 
were desperate. Their ambassador held a 
24-houra-day vigil in the corridors of 
power, at the State Department and the 
Pentagon. The final holdback was the 
k of transport. Nixon cut the knot. 
"Send the stuff on anything that moves, 
he ordered. They did. The Israelis cou 
terattacked, surrounded the Egyptian 
rmy across the canal and tightened the 
noose around it. This time, it was the 
yptians who cried for help in the form 
of a cease-fire. The possibility of another 
Egyptian defeat was too much for both 
Nixon and Kissinger. ‘They threatened to 
crack down on Israel and they rescued 
the Egyptians, 

I lunched with Kissinger after one of 
shule trips and asked him not only 
bout the war but also about the Presi- 
dent, Kissinger was, in effect, carrying the 
burden of the Presidency, secking to sal- 
vage by his prestige whatever shreds of 
legitimacy the Executive still had. He 
a 


mind and as a man, After several hours 
of talk, Kissinger answered what must 
have been a pressing call at the table. 1 
could hear some muttered words about 


the President and saw his face change 
color. For a moment, he was silent, and 
then—as we rose from the table—he said, 


almost under his breath but quite clearly, 
“that anti-Semitic bastard!” 

while Nixon was a vulgar anti- 
Semite, given to outbursts of anger 
against Јем nst other eum 
groups as well—he was not a classic anti 
Semite, in ihe fasci: A classic 
antiSemite could not have ordered hi: 
Secretaries of State and Defense to send 
arms to Israel in "anything that moves 
just as he could not have chosen a Jew 
as his prime ad Ч kept him by his 
side for almost six years, 

The final contradiction in this curious 
man and mind came in his last 24 hours 
of power, and it came in the histo 
Nixon had decided to 
ued his last orders as Chief 
d given his speechwriter 
з about his farewell statement. 
To whom did he turn on his last evening 
in office? Not to his family, his partisans, 
his dose friends, but to the immigrant 
Jew with a heavy Germanic accent who— 
he later said—had never been a friend, 
only an associate. 

We have to ask why, and the answer 

may resolve some of the contradictions in 
Nixon. He was mean, nasty, ruthless, vin- 
dictive—yes. He wooed and held on to 
power with ferocity. He lied, both for 
reasons of state and to save his own skin. 
He could be sentimental, and turn away 
at somcone's tears, yet also give orders 
that meant death for thousands and tens 
of thousands. But having said this, we 
ave to add that he was a political 
ids of whose blood turned. 
ol events. 
Richard Nixon spent 
st evening with Henry Kissinger. 
Had he failed to do so—had either man 
failed—he would not have been what he 
was. The two men had made together 
the greatest journey in the life of cach— 
that journey to the end of the night that 
spelled out the power and passion of 
guiding the world’s greatest powe 
h knew that the other had been his 
passport to history. Now, as Nixon was 
forced 10 relinquish the power that had 
meant the breath of life to hi he 
turned to the one n who knew the 
ruses, the glories and the cruelties of his- 
tory. He couldn't step out of history, and 
face the full extent of his tragedy, with- 
out touching base with the man who had 
studied both history and tragedy. When 
Nixon asked Kissinger to pray with him, 
it was not to the Judaco-Christian gods, 
Yahweh or Christ, that they knelt, but to 
the only gods they had in common as 
political men—the gods of power and 
blind chance, aud the ironies and trag- 
edies and absurdities of history. 


sense. 


prayer session. 
resign, had i: 


xon was a 


In his own curious way, N 
Nieuschean figure, lonely on the moun- 
ing for some Superman role 
beyond good and evil. But in the end, 
е the illfated magus of legend, the 
genie he released from the bottle became 
a whirlwind that destroyed him. 

. 

As 1 look back at these six Presidents, 
L can't escape a pervasive sadness about 
most of them. They lived out the great 
American dream and reached the pin- 
le and—except for Harry Truman— 
were broken om it, Franklin Roosevelt 
died in office, less from his crippling ill- 
ness than from the tensions of the Presi 
which he had added his own 
dimension of gaiety 
Dwight Eisenhower su 


dency v 


ness. 
ived his heart at- 
fulfilled m: 


Sixties when he left office. John Kennedy 
was just starting to explore his promise 
as President when he was shot down 
Lyndon Johnson found that skill and 
will were not enough to hold his universe 
together, and himself rang the curt 
down on his hopes for another term, 
Richard Nixon was expelled from the 
Eden he had hungered for, harder th 
any of the rest: He was his own Lucifer 
and created his awn hell 

Together these six are the latierday 
Titans, presiding for 42 years over a 
power cluster now entering its third cen- 
tury. For all their foibles, it would be 
ard to find in any other nation of our 
time a succession of heads of state who 
were as eager to wield their massive pow- 
er well, and who gave it up as reluctantly 

I wish they had suffered less sorrow, 
and led more fulfilled lives, and been 
wiser in the erumch. But then, I wish the 
rest of us had been wiser, too. For our 
Presidents are pretty much what w 
make them. We choose them. deify the 
myths of them, revile them, hound 
them out of office or harass them to their 
. We are as obsessed with them as 
re obsessed with power 

In fact, our obsession with them be- 
comes an erotic obsession, in the sense in 
which power and Eros are closely linked. 
We project our dreams on them, wreak 
our frustrations on them, take out our 
discontents on them. We take human 
beings and make gods of them, and w 
they turn out to be made of c 
man, all too human—we close o 
to them and пу ro expunge the pages of 
history on which the 
"Make our people 


done better, and fewer of them would 
have been broken by the ruthlessness of 


à democracy. 


“See here, Miriam—that’s one of mine!” 


329 


SWITCHING 


(continued from page 250) 


“I did make out tonight. I ran my ‘switch’ number 
on a girl and she fell like ihe Roman Empire." 


sounds all sinew and bali 
Poetry's a funny thin 

"True. I remember giggling all the 
way through Paradise Lost.” 

She smiled, “Tell me, do you come 
here often?" 

I laughed. "Why didn't you ask me 
what my zodiac sign was?" 

“T don't understand.” 

"Don't tell me that ‘Do you come here 
often?’ is your best line!” 

"Hey, come on. Take it easy. I'm new 
at this sort of business.” 

“Ah, the cry of the Sabine women. All 
right. Yes, I come here often.” 

"То pick up women?” 

“Certainly not! By which I mean .. . 
of course, what else?” 

"Why aren't you after her, then?" 
Martha indicated the drunk with thc 
adrift eyelash. 

“Well, in the first place, she's drunk. 
And making love to a drunk is а form of 
masturbation. Only lonelier. And in the 
second place, she's obviously as dumb as 
a Sixties liberal, The vital force that 
might have gone into her brains went 
into her boobs. So how about you? Did 
you come here to make out?" 

“I thought so. I'm not sure. Из my 
first time.” 

Your first time here?" 
irst time anywhere.” 
Married?" 
“Divorced.” 
“Recently?” 


“Children?” 

“None. And you?” 

“Which?” 

“Any of the above.” 

“Married, yes. And I have produced an 
F-I—little girl—all sugar and spice and 
puppy dogs’ tails.’ 

"How do you earn your money?” 

“I'm a university professor. History of 
Western Thought. So you can't exactly 
say that 1 earn my money. Creating fac- 
ulty positions is our cultures way of 
providing for the emotionally under- 
developed." 

“That has the sound of a rehearsed 
line. 

“Exactly what it was. What about you, 
Martha? How do you make your money?” 

"I'm a lawyer.” 

"Oh?" 

“Yes. My husband and I were in prac- 
tice together.” 

"Zinberg and Zinberg?" 
No. Just Zinberg." 
“And that was the problem?" 
"Hmm . .. more one of the symptoms. 
You want to hear about the problems?” 


"No 

"In that case, do you want to tell me 
about your problems?" 

"Gladly. My wife is a wonderful hu- 
man being, My child is a cocktail of 
beauty and wit. I got tenure two years 
ago. And I publish articles with machine- 
like regularity.” 

“These are problems?” 

“If seen from the inside. You see, I 
always wanted to be captain of a tramp 
steamer on the South China Sea. Or a 
novelist. Or a movie actor. Or a farmer 
in Vermont. What about you?” 

“I don't think I ever wanted to be a 
farmer in Vermont. All my life, I wanted 
to be a lawyer.” 

“So you've made out.” 

“Not tonight, it appears. My first shot 
at the swinging scene wasn't a screaming 
success, I realize that zaftig isn't ‘in’ this 
season—but still! I mean, come оп... 
the air in here was humid with libido 
earlier on, and some of the boys were too 
drunk to discriminate. And yet .. . I'm 
still sitting here, Advise me. What should 
I do? Green Stamps?” 

"Do I understand you correctly? You're 
asking me for advice on how to get 
yourself laid?" 

“Maybe. I'm not sure. I mean—this is 
my maiden voyage as a matrom. First 
time out since the divorce. Maybe I just. 
want to talk. Share ideas, dreains, wise- 
cracks." She tilted back her head and 
looked at me narrowly. “Come to think 
of it, you're probably not the best person 
to ask for advice. After all, you're obvi- 
ously not much of an expert in the arts 
of seduction.” 

"I resent that 

"You're still here, aren't you? You 
didn't find anyone for tonight.” 

“That's the part I resent.” 

Martha laughed. “You're sort of fun." 

“Golly, am I really? The fact is, 1 did 
make out tonight. I ran my patented 
‘switch’ number on a girl and she fell 
like the Roman Empire in a race with 
the American dollar. So you see, madam, 
when you assume that the reason I am 
here, rather than sweating on the belly of 
some chick, is because 1 lack persuasive 
skills, you are full of shit up to your pink, 
shell-like ears. You don't mind my wax- 
ing poetic, do you?” 

"Wax away. Are they really?” 

What?" 
hell-like?" 
'Sure. A conch is a kind of shell, you 


k 
"Are you drunk, Marvin? You have a 
very drunk sound.” 
“Only my mouth is drunk. My mind 


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is pellucid. Hey, what if I had slurred 
the word pellucid? Wouldn't that have 
been funny? Say, do you want to hear 
how I made out or not?" 

"Ts it still raining?" 

“Felines and canines.” 

“In that case, I’m fascinated." She 
crossed her legs and assumed an acutely 
attentive look. 

“OK. OK, I approached this fish, ran 
my classic switch number on her and 
there she was—on the hook. We only 
had to finish our drinks and in half an 
hour we'd have been in her apartment, 
making the beast with two backs. Or the 
double-thick beast. Or whatever faunal 
variations our bone structure and imagi- 
nation permitted.” 

“So why didn't you?” 

“Ah! There you have put your finger 
on my problem.” 

“That's my knee. And it's at least a 
foot away from your problem.” 

“You see, madam, of late I've discov- 
ered—how do you know it's a foot away? 
You're just guessing. Of late I've discov- 
ered that once the hook is set, my inter- 
est in landing the fish evaporates. I'm 
more of a hunter than a killer. It isn't 
the physical thing that attracts me. It's 
the constant reaffirmation that I can still 
get myself laid by young flesh. Does that 
make sense?” 

"Sure. In fact, it's transparent.” 

"I was afraid of that.” 

“So how does this classic ‘switch’ of 
yours work?” 

“Like most landmark discoveries in 
mankind's rise from the club to the 
atomic bomb, the switch is based on 
simple principles. These bumbling 
butchers around here run the standard, 
banal dodges. They grope the fish's emo- 
tions by telling her she's beautiful; or 
they grope her mind by saying she's 
clever and inter-sting; or they grope her 
affections by faking a common interest 
in The Rolling Stones or Fellini or the 
Mets. I cut through all this tedious persi- 
flage and do a complete switch on these 
worn ploys. Playing it for bittersweet 
and tragic, 1 frankly admit that both she 
and I are here to get ourselves laid. 
"Then I shake my head and say what a 
sick and silly thing that really is. Here 
we sit, so much finer and more sensitive 
than these animals sniffing at cach other 
all around us. And still we find ourselves 
in the same meat market with them, vic- 
tims of social and corporeal impulses we 
can't fight, even though we know how 
stupid and ultimately unsatisfying it all 
is. I sigh and say that at least we can 
preserve our dignity by not conning each 
other with shams of love and affection. 
We can call a spade a spade—this line 
is a little dicey if the girl is black. So 
the two of us finish our drinks, looking 
at the others with scorn. We're a team 
now. We'ye both accepted reality, both 
admitted we're there to ger laid. 
Ero...." 


“And that works, Marvin?” 

“More often than not.” 

“The whole business doesn't sound 
very romantic." 

“The hole business isn't romantic. It's 
thermochemistry—lubrication, friction 
and contractions. Like giving blood, or 
pissing, or taking a vitamin capsule. 
And, by the way, those are excellent 
analogs for the three impulses that drive 
us to sex.” 

Martha probed the bottom of her glass 
with a plastic swizzle stick. “Would you 
mind telling me something? Why didn’t 
you take a shot at me? Didn't you notice 
me sitting there?” 

“I noticed you.” 

“And?” 

“Well, you see, I've got this problem. 
1 only target on young fish. In the cor- 
ners of my mind, I have a notion that 
youth is a communicable disease you 
can catch through direct contact.” 

“Does that ever work?” 

"It always works . . . for about thirty 
seconds." 

She took the swizle stick out and 
licked at it meditatively. “I don't think 
it would work for me. Too complicated. 
Too devious.” 

“Don’t chew on that, Plastic causes 
cancer.” I had swallowed a little too 
much hooch that night and I began to 
feel a ghost of nausea in the back of my 
throat. I must have mistaken it for com- 
passion, because I found myself decid- 
ing to play it straight with her. “Martha? 
1 told you about the switch game where 
1 lay it right on the line with the fish. 
Well, there's а more advanced ploy, one 
1 call the double switch. That's where 1 
tell some bright fish at the bar all about 
the switch game." 

She was silent for а beat. "You're say- 


ing that I've just been a victim of the 
double switch?" 

“That's it. It's reserved for the very 
smartest fish." 

“Thanks . . . sort of. But what about 
your taste for young flesh and the social 
disease of youth?" 

"Do you think I have so little imagi- 
nation that I'm incapable of lying?” 

“J sec.” 

“Like everybody else, I take what I 
can get. But because you're bright and 
witty, I thought I'd warn you. Particu- 
larly as this is your first night out cruis- 
ing. Seems only sporting to give you a 
chance to get away.” 

“Tm not sure I want to. Do you mind 
if I ask—do you love your wife?" 

"Sure." 

“But Шеп... why?" 

“It’s all about being over forty and 
not being a captain on the South China 
Sea or a farmer in Vermont. You parked 
ош in the Jot?" 

"Yes. À cream Mercedes." 

“When the rain breaks, I'll follow you 
to your place.” 

"Ah. . . ." She put her elbow on the 
bar and her cheek in her palm, so that 
she was looking sideways up at me. “May 
I use the confessional now?” 

“Sure.” 

"We can't go to my place 

“You have a roommate?” 

"Sort of. There's my husband and my 
three children. I don't think they'd 
understand." 

I looked at her for a second, feeling 
d. “You're not divorced.” 


cruising.” 
Ah. 


- no. Could there be such a 
thing as a triple switch?" 


“No kidding, Miss Harmon. I think 
the firm is very lucky to have someone as thorough 
as you in the typing pool." 


333 


PLAYBOY 


334 


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I rubbed my face to get some of the 
blur out of my eyes. “Not bad, Martha 
Not bad. For а woman who doesn't 
think she can handle the devious.” I 
pushed off the barstool and went to the 
window. The rain had just about 
stopped and streetlights were reflecting 
in shallow pools faintly opalescent with 
automobile filth. I couldn't tell if the 
hail had done any damage to my bat- 
tered Avanti, but I was sure it had 
harmed her Mercedes, and that was a 
comfort. 

“Marvin?” She had joined me at the 
window. “There comes a time when a 
woman who has been a good wife and 
a busy mother feels all the time in front 
of her collapsing, and she realizes that 
life was that thing that passed her by 
while she was making plans. You know 
what I mean?” 

"Please don't batter me with your 
sincerity. My whole life is a celebration 
of artifice. Down with meaningful rela- 
tions! Up with the psychological bar 
riers! Bring on the colorful hang-ups!” 

She was silent for a moment, then 
she said, “I see. Well, at least we could 
console each other by making the beast 
with two backs. And the double-thick 
beast. And whatever that other one was. 
I have enough money for a motel, you 
know.” 

I sat at the table by the window. "I'm 
sure you have, Martha. If not, we could 
hock а spoke from one of your car 
wheels." 

She sat across from me. "Your ego's 
hurt, isn't it?” 

“Of course. But that’s not it. It would 
be pointless for us to make it in some 
motel with cellophane sheets. In the 
morning, our strongest urge would be to 
shower the other person's body off our 
own. We'd have to make up fragile sto 
ries for people who no longer believe 
us. And a week from now, we wouldn't 
even remember each others names. 
We don't have anything to offer cach 
other—nothing wc even want from cach 
other. All there is between us is a low 
background fever of sexual curiosity." 

АП the while I spoke, she smiled at 
me with amused compassion, and it was 
difficult to keep my eyes on hers. I was 
feeling burned out, vitiated. 

Sam Three started up the worn record 
of ds Time Goes By, while Sam One 
went along the bar telling everyone that 
it was long after closing and the rain 
had stopped. 

Martha continued to look at mc 
calmly. 

“Absolutely pointless, Martha. We 
probably won't eyen do very well.” 

"I know 

1 sighed and stood up. "ОК. Let's go." 

"We'll take my car. You can drive if 
you want." 

"That would be a nice change." 


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PLAYBOY 


336 


MIAMI (continued from page 276) 


“One swinger at Playhouse I told about the time she 
ran into her mother and father at the club.” 


sunless solarium. "Clothing will be op- 
tional” is the closest Bobi will come to 
admitting that serious club swinging may 
be on the way to Dade County. But 
the club will also provide for those who 
come only to dance and keep their 
clothes on. A disco and lounge—again, 
bring your own bottle—will be separat- 
ed from the spa area by one-way mirrors 
allowing folks in the Jacuzzis to watch 
the dancers without being seen, unless 
they turn up the lights. 

In the meantime, Playhouse I in Mira- 
mar is designed to bring together people 
of a common persuasion who would 
rather meet potential foursomes face to 
face than solicit them through any of 
the fast proliferating national or local 
swingers’ catalogs, such as Select, Modern 
Swinger and The Florida Swinger. Yet 
those who prefer discretion stick to the 
privacy of newsletter trysts. Through the 
locally published Florida Swinger, Mi- 
ami couples can make anonymous dates 


almost in their own back yards. “I work 
for Ma Bell,” says one woman who ad- 
vertises in the Swinger, "and they would 
not stand for catching me or my husband 
in some club.” They scratch out their 
faces on the Polaroid photos they submit 
with their ads. 

Consider the case of Joe, a 39-year-old 
pilot, and Susan, 28, his wife of six years, 
who one night found themselves in a 
blind-date swinging session with "a judge 
who had had me in court on a traffic 
case only the week before. We were both 
pretty embarrassed, but the situation was 
absurd. He said he would have fined me, 
anyway, but 1 wonder. . . ." Joe lives 
with a lurking fear that one day he will 
run into a Rible-toting supervisor and 
have his wings clipped. He doesn't seem 
to realize that swinging is a two-edged 
sword. One swinger at Playhouse I told 
about the time she ran into her mother 
and father at the club. At first she was 
mortified, but by the end of the evening, 


et 


she was beginning to wonder what it 
would be like to swing with them. 

Playhouse I is thriving. Ап estimat- 
ed 60 to 90 couples pass through the 
unmarked rear door facing the parking 
lot on Friday and Saturday nights (the 
front door is barred to discourage the 
curious and the unwitting). The club 
newsletter announces such events as 
Screw Night: The men were given bolts, 
the ladies nuts and they had to match 
them up—a kind of adult's spin the bot- 
tle. Last spring, editor Bobi promoted 
Ladies Bi night—a blatant attempt to 
encourage more single women and wom- 
en “of the gentle alternative persuasion” 
to visit the club. Del estimates that some 
85 percent of his female members—but 
only five percent of the males—are bisex- 
ual. But he says foursomes—two swapped 
couples—are still the most common 
swinging constellation, with threesomes 
and small orgies coming in second. 

‘There are a handful of X-rated motels 
in Miami (particularly in the North Mi- 
ami Beach area), but these seem to be fa- 
vored more by men hiring hookers and 
couples who want to try the water beds 
and dirty TV shows on a lark. For swing- 
ing, home parties are still the rule. (Five 
percent of the people in the PLAYBOY 
telephone survey had been to sex par- 
ties.) But with no law on the Florida 
books protecting consenting adults and 
with Anita Bryant's tirades fresh on the 
Jocal consciousness, extreme discretion is 
practiced. Fornication, not to mention 
“lewd and lascivious behavior,” is still 
against the law in Florida. A cop from 
the Miramar police force periodically 
drops in at the Playhouse in his official 
duties. Perhaps he waves to the one or 
two area cops who are among the club's 
members. 

The club's membership list is more 
inviolate than a ten-year-old . Hav- 
ing been burned a few times by what 
they call “lookers, hookers and under- 
cover cops," Del and Bobi deal cautiously 
with newcomers. The general policy 
statement at Playhouse I includes а 
clause specifically excluding "members of 
any law-enforcement agency applying for 
the purposes of entrapment.” But Bobi 
claims а membership of 1600 couples— 
including not only cops but judges, city 
and county officials and some state legis- 
lators as well. On the couples only nights, 
the parking lot begins filling promptly at 
eight o'clock with a disproportionate 
share of Cadillacs, Lincolns and Cor- 
vettes—but with an odd van or C.B- 
equipped pickup truck as well. Bobi's 
final comment on swinging: "Everybody's 
doing it." 


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PLAYBOY 


338 


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(“We've got a warm spot just for you,” 
claim Eastern's huge Northern bill- 
boards) without at least hoping for a 
piece of the action. Despite city fathers’ 
attempts to paint their economy in more 
diversified colors, the enduring one-liner 


for Miami remains "sun, sand, sin and 
Bex." 
Miami, like Manhattan, is a magnet 


to young women, from runaways to col- 
lege students to secretaries. A lot of them 
end up as prostitutes, for a period of 
time or for good. There are three ways to 
get a paid fuck in Miami: streetwalkers, 
hotel cruisers and outcall/escort services. 
Escort services are, in effect, legalized 
pimping services. They advertise regu- 
larly in such giveaway tourist magazines 
as Key, which is found in most Miami 
hotel rooms with a picture of Hugo the 
Killer Whale or an Orange Bowl float on 
its cover. The back pages tout “Hot 
stuff,” "Wild or tame," "Sugar and spice" 
and offer to take every kind of credit 
card. An agency will respond to а re- 
quest for an evening's date by first send- 
ing over а crusher who checks out the 
customer and collects the $55 fee (plus 
tax) in advance, often angling for a tip if 
the customer wants a really good lady. 
(If the date lasts more than five hours, 
the client may have to fork over ten dol- 
lars an hour overtime. The price for a 
24-hour minirelationship is only $185.) 

When the lady arrives, she asks Mr. 
Visiting Businessman to sign a contract 
and agree to behave like a gentleman. 
She then calls in to the agency to confirm 
that the five-hour date is on. If he has 
survived these Army-induction tactics, 
the client now has the privilege of drop- 
ping $100 or more on а nice dinner and 
drinks. When they return to his room, 
the lady of the evening calls her boss to 
report that the date is officially over. 

Now the real action begins: He nego- 
tiates, Asking prices for what he wants 
have hit $300 in Miami, but $100 will 
usually do it. Fifty dollars would be a 
gift. When the waltz of the wallet is 
over, he can get laid. Hallelujah. 

The two other choices are the streets 
or the hotel bars. The street action is 
mostly black and Puerto Rican and sit- 
uated in the city of Miami; the hotel 
cruising is mostly white and takes place 
across the causeways in Miami Beach. 

Ellen Wood ("my stage name") is 28 
and а hotel veteran. She emigrated from 
Chicago as a teenager and caught the last 
throes of the Beach boom by working 
the sprawling Fontainebleau Hilton and 
Eden Roc hotels at the heel of Collins 
Avenue where it meets Arthur Godfrey 
Road. In the old days, she collected large 
tips for kinky favors: "Those were wild 
times,” she remembers. “I made a thou 
а week." 

With the precipitous decline of busi- 
ness at the south end of Collins Avenue 
(“They fucked it up so bad they couldn't 


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PLAYBOY 


340 


SUN, SAND, SEX 
AND THE LAW 


"The fuzz are busy in Miami. The 
image-conscious town is currently in a 
conservative phase. Because of dra- 
matic neighborhood deterioration 
along Biscayne Boulevard and 79th 
Street, a full-scale antiprostitution 
campaign is on. One vicesquad detec- 
tive works full time on the oldest pro- 
fession. More whores than ever pass 
through the slammcer's portals, (Pros- 
titution arrests have tripled in the city 
of Miami in recent months.) A new 
“stop and inquire” ordinance of du- 
bious constitutionality permits police 
to make arrests for mere attempted 
solicitation. “People thought things 
had gone too far when the streetwalk- 
ers started knocking on car windows 
and even climbing into the front seat 
beside a driver at a traffic light,” says 
Miami city attorney George Knox. 

An increasingly common Miami po- 
lice tactic is the “John patrol"—de- 
ployment of lady cops on the street 
several times a year as decoy prosti- 
tutes wired for sound, who arrest men 
for soliciting paid sex. One night last 
March, 24 men were arrested—and 
found their names and addresses 


splashed prominently in the next 


day's Miami Herald. The Johns in- 
cluded such community pillars as a 
bank vice-president and an assistant 
high school principal. The police de- 
partment's John patrol still hits the 
boulevard at irregular intervals (211 
men were arrested last year), but they 
are extremely careful to let the cus- 
tomers make the first move. The city 
was recently ordered to pay $43,000 
in damages to one hapless John who 
successfully brought an entrapment 
charge against the policewoman who 
had arrested him. 

The police department has а man 
assigned full time to the pornography 
circuit, which he monitors by spend- 
ing his days looking at dirty books 
and peep shows. His colleagues on the 
vice squad have nicknamed him Peep- 
er. He is aided by a tough new cam- 
paign to revoke licenses of bookstores 
with any shady characters in its busi- 
ness structure who have any kind of 
previous obscenity-related convictions. 
"There is further attrition because of a 
new law requiring outlets for adult 
entertainment to be located at least 
1000 fect apart. Officially, Miami has 
gone soft-core. In the past two years, 
the number of adult movies and book- 
stores in Miami's high-crime sin dis- 
trict has fallen from 23 to under ten. 

Miami suffers from a split persoi 
ity. "We want to seem naughty,” the 


head of security at one Miami Beach 
hotel once told the city’s police chief, 
“but we don’t want to deliver the 
whole hog.” 

Miami Beach is at some pains to 
present an image of respectability. 
‘The Miami Beach fuzz likes to play 
down prostitution and has almost 
eliminated the street traffic. Said re- 
tired Police Major Donald J. Fleming, 
“We don't have streetwalkers here. We 
don't have escort services on the Beach, 
Callgirls and prostitutes working some 
lounges we do have. Miami Beach 
made 60 arrests for prostitution in 
1977, two of them male. No sir, I will 
not give you the names of hotels and 
lounges where we arrest them. That 
in PLAysoy would have the police 
telling customers where to find them." 

Miami also comes equipped with an 
assortment of rarely enforced but 
frighteningly Neanderthal laws on sex 
between consenting adults, For the 
sake of the “public health, morals, 
safety and general welfare,” for 
instance, it is technically illegal in 
Miami for two or more homosexuals 
to congregate in a place of business 
It is even against local law to sell 
alcoholic beverages to gays—an ordi- 
nance that, if taken literally, would 
put most of Coconut Grove out of 
business, Under Florida Code Chapter 
798.03, "If any man commits fornica- 
tion with a woman, each of them shall 
be guilty.” They could have written 
the Old Testament right on Biscayne 
Bay. Even if unenforced, those laws 
are on the books and hang like a 
silent specter in the atmospherics of 
gay life and prostitution. According 
to the statutes, you can do it only 
with your wife. 

Until recently, you couldn't do just 
anything even with your wife. Only 
in 1974 did Florida finally repeal its 
sodomy statute of 1868 against the 
“abominable and detestable crime 
against nature, either with mankind 
or with beast.” This felonious abom- 
ination was vaguely defined as “car- 
nally knowing someone by the mouth 
or with the anus.” 

‘The great sodomy debate raged over 
a three-year period. When the wise 
old men of Tallahassee finally wiped 
the sodomy laws off the books, they 
failed to replace them with anything 
regarding the rights of gays or other 
adults. In any case, that fit of progres- 
sivism was small comfort to the 15 
persons languishing in the state prison 
for sodomy raps, since the repeal was 
not retroactive. — — PETER ROSS RANGE 


replace the dirty carpets"), Ellen moved 
farther north to the Marco Polo and 
Newport hotels but liked neither. “Too 
many cheap bastards, wise guys and kids 
who wanted it for nothing.” Ellen is now 
working the Tack Room of the Diplomat 
Hotel. A leggy lady with a trim waist 
and ample breasts, she dresses tastefully 
and looks in light make-up more like a 
visiting schoolteacher than one of Miami 
Beach’s hustling hustlers. 

“Yeah, that's what a lot of guys, nor- 
mal men, want now," says Ellen in 
response to a question about anal sex. 
That, she suggests, is enough to double 
her normal $75 “cover charge.” Rough 
stufi—sexual brutality, urinating in 
Johns mouths, bisexual orgies—also 
doubles the price. Quick, straight, slam- 
bam sex has become the exception, not 
the rule, Ellen adds ruefully. 

In Miami, the hotel hookers at least 
make a stab at working with class. “They 
usually pull up in a Lincoln or a Cadil- 
lac," says the well-traveled social director 
of one leading Miami Beach hotel, 
“They're young, pretty and dressed as 
well as if not better than the regular 
customers. But they have something so- 
phisticated about them, too, They don't 
look like the conventioneer's wife who 
tries to dress "tropical and wears thick 
make-up. You can spot them right away. 
"They don't try to hide their occupation. 
Late at night, you сап see and hear the 
hotel keys rattling on the lounge tables, 
being passed back and forth." 

Among the younger hookers—at 28, 
Ellen Wood counts herself as onc—there 
is a predictable penchant for going danc- 
ing or working loud places with disco 
music or at least a dance floor. Like 
their "legitimate" contemporaries, young 
whores are usually good dancers and 
love to show it off. This is one reason 
they favor Alfred's Lounge at the Forge 
Restaurant, The Wreck Bar at the Casta- 
ways, the dance floors at the Jockey and 
Palm Bay clubs, the Boom-Boom Room 
and Poodle Lounge at the Fontaine- 
bleau Hilton, the Tack Room at the 
Diplomat Hotel, the Emerald Lounge at 
the Americana, the Bird Room of the 
Marco Polo Hotel and the Seven Seas 
Lounge at the Newport Hotel. 

There is, of course, a finely tuned 
interlocking network within the machin- 
ery of big-time hotel tourism that makes 
the cruising hooker possible, Prostitution 
is a required, if illegal and clandestine, 
service and it must be provided efficient- 
ly and without hassle, rowdiness or em- 
barrassment. As in the casino-hotels of 
Las Vegas, it is most often the head of 
hotel security, not the bartenders and 
maitre de of the establishments, who 
exercises control over who works and 
who doesn't. 

In one leading hotel, the social direc- 
tor recently pulled a prank on the owners 


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PLAYBOY 


342 


at the annual employees awards din 
ner. After the ten- and 20-year service 
pins and watches had been handed out, 
he announced that two loyal longtimers 
had been overlooked. The hotel owner's 
wife frantically scanned her awards list 
and found no unchecked п: j. Who 
is missing? she wondered. 

“Mary and Shirley,” announced the 
impish impresario, naming two veteran 
hookers who work the hotel lounge al- 
most nightly. “They've been in this room 
for ten years and they work harder than 
anybody els 

“Look, we could become very moral 
and мшу and give the girls dirty 
looks,” says the convention-service man- 
ager of another leading Beach hotel. 
“But what does that prove? Men are 
men. This is a resort-and-play town. 
Women walk around here with their tits 
hanging out, People want to get laid. 
They come to us. The convention organ- 
izers willask, "What the hell are my 
guys going to do during the evening?” 

‘The service manager, who is just as 
interested in obtaining that company's 
convention business next year as he 
was this year, may then pass on the busi- 


ness card of a favored escort service, sug- 
gest a few hookers directly or indicate 
a place where the conventioneers might 
try their own luck, “When I'm asked,” 
he says, “J always suggest the Forge. 
There's more body contact in that place. 
Most guys come back with something 
from the lounge there." 

Then there are the streets. Over in 
Miami, on Biscayne Boulevard between 
79th and 163rd streets, it may not quite 
match New York's “Minnesota Strip,” 
but it has become a kind of combat zone 
on wheels. Beginning with the evening 
rush hour, one sees dusky ladies in hot- 
pants and halters constantly cruising the 
sidewalks, many of them mere girls but 
already hardened pros, 

‘This is the world of $20 head jobs in 
the seat of your car, or $30-$70, plus 
the price of a room, for a full fuck in 
one of the seedy elephant'sgraveyard 
motels. It is high-risk territory: If the 
fuzz doesn’t get you, the pimps can. But 
it has its attractions. Sally, a 21-year-old 
from Nashville, has apparently found 
her niche. “I won't quit,” she says. “It’s 
more than a habit. Only it does get 
crowded down here in the winter. But 


“Yes, Virginia, there isa Mafia!" 


why work the fucking frecz 
Chicago when there's Mi 


g streets of 


GAYS 


If it weren't for Anita Bryant, у 
probably wouldn't know that Miami is 
home to one of the larger homosexual 
communities in America (usually esti- 
mated to be fifth largest, after New York, 
Francisco, Los Angeles and Wash- 
ington). Until the spirit moved the 
orange-juice queen to fight gay rights on 
her home turf in 1977, there was only 
sing interest among Dade County 
straights in the growing gay world in 
their midst. Gays, like many other 
Miami immigrants, lived happily if 
obscurely in the sun and sand and no- 
body bothered them. 

Anita changed all that. One of her 
great achievements was to galvanize the 
gays of Dade County into a political 
force. “People began to relate to each 
other in more than a social way,” says 
Bruce Fitzgerald, editor of the Miami- 
based Blucboy, the largest homosexual 
magazine in the country. 

A gay-ights political war chest of 
$350,000 was not enough to keep on the 
Miami lawbooks a new ordinance ban- 
ning employment and housing discrimi 
nation because of “affectional 
preference.” Two Miami television sta- 
tions (channels ten and seven) refused to 
sell commercial time to the gays, even 
though they had enlisted actor Ed Asner, 
who did spots suggesting that if you re- 
press gays, think what could happen to 
Jews and other minorities. The spots bla- 
tantly appealed to Jewish memory of anti- 
Semitic housing covenants that kept Jews 
ош of many Miami Beach hotels until 
1947. On polling day, June 7, 1977, the 
gays lost badly: 208,504 to 92,212. 

For all the ballyhoo, gays are not a 
conspicuous part of the Miami land- 
scape. Even Coconut Grove is less obvi- 
ously gay than certain neighborhoods of 
Atlanta and Washington, 

Club Miami on Coral М 
largest g: 
9000 members (it costs only five dollars 
to join but three dollars to eight dollars 
per visit thereafter). Owner Jack Camp- 
bell, who has 40 such clubs around the 
country, says his clientele includes “a lot 
of married men who come by in their 
spare time.” Other gay watering holes 
include the Hamlet Bar in Coconut 
Grove, the Cactus Lounge on Biscayne 
d, Uncle Charlie's Downtown 
n Miami and The Copa in Fort 
Ic. Key West, the acknowledged 
capital of laid-back, has been a gay 
haven for years. It is only three hours 
away by car. 

The Metropolitan Community Church, 
organized in 1968, has 100 signed gay 
members. One gay synagogue (reform), 
Congregation Etz Chaim, claims 40 mem- 
bers after four years; many more attend 
their services. Gays, like other Miamians, 


" 


80 PROOF LIQUEUR. IMPORTED BY W. A. TAYLOR & CO., MIAMI, FLORIDA © 1978 


4 45 
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PLAYBOY 


344 


PLAYBOY^S MIAMI 
TELEPHONE SURVEY 


Every city has a self-image that is 
the source of its sense of community. 
New York, for instance, is a great 
place to visit, but you wouldn't want 
to live there, unless you live there, 
in which case you are proud of sur- 
viving in the Big Apple. If nothing 
else, you get off on the “in” jokes in 
a Neil Simon comedy. The freeways 
in Los Angeles are horrible, but na- 
tive Californians arc a bunch of wild 
and crazy guys who like cars; and, be- 
sides, if it weren't for the freeways, 
citizens of L.A. wouldn't be immor- 
talized in Johnny Carson's monologs. 
PLAYBOY decided to find out what 
Miamians think of their city. We com- 
missioned a telephone survey of 600 
randomly selected people between the 
ages of 18 and 45. We wanted to de- 
fine the community standards of the 
region, to ascertain the sexual tem- 
perature of the city. 

Anita Bryant created an impression 
of Miami as an intolerant city rally- 
ing against the forces of evil. We 
found Miamians to be much more 
relaxed than the orange queen. They 
thought of themselves as permissive. 
Not quite Tas Vegas, hut getting 
there. Asked to rate their city against 
others, Miamians gave Los Angeles 
and Chicago a sedate 75, themselves 
an 84—one degree less than New 
York, Las Vegas received a scorching 
95. A majority (58 percent) thought 
that Miami had become more sexu- 
ally permissive in the past five years 
and 65 percent thought the over-all 
sexual temperature was on the rise. 
And they scemed to like it that way. 
Twenty-four percent thought their 
home town was a great. place to live 
and 46 percent thought it was good. 

We asked the citizens to agree or 
disagree with various statements about 
their city. The results were surprising: 

Fifty-six percent thought that or- 
ganized crime had a free hand in the 
Miami area. 

Eighty-six percent thought that 
drug use had increased over the past 
fivc ycars. 

Eighty percent said that if a person 
wanted to, he could find a place to 
gamble in the Miami arca, even 


Sixtysix percent said that there had 
been an inercase in the number of 
movichouses showing pornographic 
films in the past few years in Miami. 

Sixty-eight percent thought that 
there had been an increase in the 
number of adult bookstores. 


Ninety-three percent acknowledged 
the existence of gay bars in the area, 

Eighty-one percent knew of a num- 
ber of places where prostitution was 
in the open. Sixty-six percent said that 
one could find sex in massage parlors 
and 26 percent thought the police 
were Closing their eyes to prostitution 
in the Miami area. 

These figures give a rough sexual 
picture of the city. How comfortable 
are Miamians with this perceived rc- 
ality? Do they accept homosexuality, 
prostitution and porn or are they 
closet. crusaders intent on being their 
brothers’ keeper? Consider: 

Adult movies: Seventy-eight percent 
of our sample thought adult films 
should be allowed in the Miami area. 
Sixty-seven percent knew someone 
who had been to an X-rated flick, 
while 41 percent had gone themselves. 
Of the latter, slightly fewer than half 
reported they enjoyed the experience. 

Pornography: Only 52 percent of 
the people with whom we talked 
thought that adult bookstores should 
be allowed in the Miami area. Forty- 
six percent said they knew some- 
‘one who frequented porn shops and 
37 percent reported having browsed 
themselves. One out of four of those 
confessed to having purchased erotic 
material. Miamians apparently don't 
like to read about sex. Only 42 percent 
of the people who thought adult book- 
stores should be allowed had ever 
opened а sex manual such as Masters 
and Johnson's or The Joy of Sex. 

Prostitution: Fifty-nine percent of 
the people we interviewed thought 
massage parlors should be allowed to 
exist—a slightly higher percentage 
than those who tolerated the woman 
on the street, Fifty-one percent 
thought that the oldest profession 
should be allowed to practice in Mi- 
ami—if only for the tourists, While 
25 percent of the sample knew some- 
one who had been to a prostitute, 
fewer than two percent had been 
themselves. 

Homosexuality: Hurricane Anita 
appears t0 have been a tempest in a 
teacup. Although the antigay ordi- 
nance was passed in a public election, 
the outcome did not seem to reflect 
the true attitude of the community. 

ty-three percent of the people we 
interviewed thought that gay bars 
should be allowed to cxist. One third 
knew someone who had been to a gay 
bar; 11 percent had gone themselves. 


are involved in all kinds of recreation; 
there arc at least two gay motorcycle 
clubs. There are always well-kept bikes 
parked in front of the Hamlet in the 
Grove. 

Some ugliness has crept into the gay 
scene. Miami has in the past two years 
rapidly become one of the capitals of 
open male prostitution, primarily young 
boys ("chickens") hanging оп street 
corners while older men cruise the area 
looking for a $20 blow job. The male- 
prostitution scene on the sea wall near 
the Cactus Lounge at 21st Street and 
Biscayne Boulevard has become so in- 
tense that female hookers who once 
worked the area have shifted farther 
north. In a recent ten-part television 
series, channelseven reporter Carmel 
Cafiero discovered that many of the boys 
are runaways who are literally on 
the streets (some keep a blanket and 
pillow in the bushes nearby) and offering 
their bodies for subsistence money. A 
state-government report showed that 
three of four teenaged prostitutes in 
Florida today are males. 

Summary: How, finaly, should we 
characterize Miami? At times it seems 
like a suburb of New York, by way of 
Atlantic City, in search of Las Vegas. 
The night life is sufficient, if not so- 
phisticated. The moral climate is like 
the physical one: warm, relaxed and 
sensuous. Miami is the model for the 
American dream: It's where you go if 
you've earned a vacation and it's where 
you retire if you've lived the proper life. 
It's a good place to get it on. 


Editor's note: Sex in America is a ma- 
jor research and reporting task with one 
goal. rraynoy wants to determine the 
sexual temperature of the country’s ma- 
jor cities. We are curious about the qual- 
ity of life and love in the various regions 
of the nation. Our curiosity is in part 
prompted by the 1973 Supreme Court 
decisions on pornography. In Miller us. 
California, the Burger Court ruled that 
sexual matters were no longer the con- 
cern of the national Government, Hence- 
forth, all obscenity cases were to be 
determined by local community stand- 
ards. Never mind that no one knew 
what a local community standard was 
or where one could be obtained. In 
the five years since the Miller decision, 
not much thought has been given to that 
elusive creation of the Court. PLAYBOY 
has decided to take up where the Su- 
preme Court left off. If sex is not a guar- 
anteed freedom for all, then can we at 
least create 2 map of the safe zones? Our 
teams have investigated Chicago, Boston, 
Cleveland, Los Angeles and New York 
in an effort to determine the local com- 
munity standards of those cities. We will 
publish those reports in the forthcoming 


months. 
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TOUGH MUTHUKS 


(continued from page 172) 
the trial, were unfair, he says. The other 
men in both Whites and King's line-ups 
were plainclothes cops, and though 
they were all black. men, they were 
older and heavier than King and W 
and Div had any 
trouble picking them out of such groups 
of men—they stood out like sore thumbs. 

We send for the guard and our fore- 
lady asks him to ask the judge for the 
lineup photos. A short time 
are brought to us. lt is true thar White 
and King are younger-looking than the 
other men in their line-ups, but not by 
that much, At least hall the jurors feel 
that the line-ups were fair. 

Somebody el es the issue of the 
inconsistent alibis and is reminded that 
Detective Muller's testimony that White 
and King had different alibis was not 
admissible evidence because it was not 
supported by his notes. 

Another vote is taken, this time by a 
show of hands. We are back to seven 
for conviction and five for acquittal. 
"Those for acquittal are: 

1. Roland, the young designer with the 


wouldn't have 


‚ the easygoing young archi- 
tect; 

3. Phillip. the NYU professor who'd 
been mugged (so the defense attorneys 
hadn't been wrong in пог dismissing 
him): 

4. Ellen, the softspoken black Macy's 
clerical worker; and. 


ina, the mi black corrections 
officer (зо the assistant D.A. hadn't been 
right in not dismissing her or Ellen) 
Tina glares across the table at Chris- 
tina, the once-beautiful social secretary. 
‘It’s no surprise to me you're voting for 
conviction,” she says. "You thought those 
boys were guilty the minute the trial 
started.” 
Yowre crazy" s 
didn't form i 
end of the t 
“Bullshit. 
Shirle 
kids in her 


aght lots of bad 
умі exactly like King 
and White, and it’s obvious ta her t 
they are guilty. Tina says the only т 
son Shirley thinks they're guilty is t 
she hates blacks. Tina and 


says she's (t 


1j 
irlev get 
into а nasty little confrontation, which 


stuns the rest of us with its vitriol 
“OK.” says Shirley, “Tm not 
another word the rest of the 
just going to sit here and shake." 
Another vore is taken. It is now eight 
for conviction, four for acquittal, To 
. Ellen has changed 
is furious with 
ck, is voting with 
the whites against o black brothers. 
Tina is asked whether she, a correc- 
tions ollicer, truly believes the two de- 
fendants to be innocent. She says she 


ing 
Im 


Tina's mor 


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CHARCOAL 
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frankly doesn't know, that the two boys 
probably are guilty, but she's damne 
if she's going to vote against two black 
brothers when every white on the jury 
decided the moment the trial started 
that they were guilty just from the color 
of their skins. 

Roland and Phillip make short 
speeches to the effect that our instruc- 
tions from Judge Blumenthal were to 
vote the delendants guilty only if we 
could be sure of their guilt beyond a 
reasonable doubt, and that they could 
not be so su ‘There is much self 
conscious reference to the great jury 
movie 12 Angry Men, in which Henry 
Fonda is the only juror who has a rea- 
sonable doubt about the defendant's 
guilt and who manages to convince his 
TI fellow jurors to vote for acquittal. 

"OK," says Christina, "which one of 
us is going to play Henry Fonda?" 

We wonder aloud why we have been 
given no instructions on how to go 
about deliberating, since we have been 
given rather explicit instructions about 
everything else, both verbally and in the 
Juror's Manual. 

We improvise a number of delibera- 
tion devices: One, we go around the 
table and have everybody give the hest 
argument for his or her position—this is 
boring and changes nobody's vote. Two, 
we go around the table and have every- 
body try to give a convincing argument 
for the opposite position—this is inter- 
esting and perverse and changes no- 
body's vote. Three, we break up into 
buzz groups—since there are twice as 
many for conviction as for acq 
cach buzz group has two for coi 
and one for acquittal. The two in cach 
group for convi 
on the one for d try to get 
im to change posi d we break up 
and reform buzz groups several times, 
and the temperature in the windowless 
room goes up by several degr but 
when we are finished and the smoke has 
d and a vote is taken, we learn this 
changed nobody's vote, either. 

‘The forelady rings for the guard and 
has him tell the judge that we are dead- 
locked. The guard comes back and says 
that we have to formally reconvene in 
the courtroom, The judge, the assistant 
D.A., the defense 
reporter and the prisoners are all sum- 
moned back into the courtroom. 

As we file into the jury box to take 
our seats, I am very conscious that the 
eyes of all, particularly those of the pris- 
oners, are upon us. Do they think we 
have come to a decision? Do they think 
they'll be released ог sent back to prison? 
The court reporter calls the roll 

“Have you reached a verdict?” asks 
the judge. 

“No, your Honor,” says our forelady, 
“we are deadlocked. The vote hasn't 
changed in several hours.” 

Both Fator and Klein are smiling. A 


ly bear down 


torneys, the court 


"They're from the Santa Claus Clone Works in Upstate New York." 


349 


We return to the courthouse and the 
stuffy jury room with its foo-bright 
fluorescent. light and. the stale le 
of lunch. 

We tke а poll, 


asking that everybody 
state how he is voting and how firm he 
is in his position. The vote is once more 
seven for conviction and five for acqui 

tal— Ellen has changed her mind ад; 
and decided the lads are innocent. Of 
the seven who voted for conviction, five 
€ not so firm, Of the 
re firm and two 


are firm and two 
five for acquittal, three 
re not so firm 
Steven, the 
cides то review the entire trial and all 
the testimony at some length. to refresh 
our memories. This necessitates our hav- 
ing the forelady ring for the guard and 
have him take a note to the judge to ask 
for Clarification of a part of the transcript 
of the tial. И is ten т.м. We've been 
here about 15 hours and we are overtired 
and becoming cranky. The guard comes 
back to say that we must hear the testi- 
mony read in the courtroom 

Once more the judge. the D.A 


easygoing architect. de- 


the 


court reporter, the defense attorneys and 
the 


the prisoners are reconvened in 
courtroom: we file in 
take seats in the jury box: and once 


called by the court ro- 


once more 


more the roll 
porter and all eyes are upon us, w 
to see what our verdict will be. 1 
terrible that this false 


feel 
larm 


mother 


bt deadlocked jury is good for the defense, “Tell me." I say half-humorously to 
e From their expressions, | figure they were (е nearest guard, “are vou wearing those 
sure they'd lost the Now they feel guns to protect us from people who 
M they have a chance of acquittal. King and might want to influence our vote or to 
* White stare at us in the way that they prevent us from running Ё 
do tave throughout the trial, with that same The guard turns to look at me. "Both 
mixture of innocent inaedulity and reasons,” he says without smiling. 
A eild threat. The resta a small lalian place. 
LI UD suggest that you cease deliberation We are seated at a long table at the rear 
now and go to dinner,” says the judge, and given menus that say “Special Jury 
"Do not discuss the case at dinner, Then Dinner, $6.00." We are waited upon by 
come back to the jury room and resume waiters who have obviously waited upon 
your deliberations. If any of vou need groups of jurors before and found them 
to inform your families you won't be то be bad tippers. We are informed that 
coming home. the guards will make the we will not be permitted any alcoholic 
calls for you, beverages, which news plunges me into 
We return to the jury room to wash — instant depression. Still. 1 can see the 
up. get our coats and prepare to go out logic: I we got drunk, we might go ber- 
» eat. We are not permitted to make serk, put lamp shades on our heads and 
amy telephone calls ourselves, lest any- do any number of outrageous things like 
me we talk to has а hor interest in hav- change our vote: 
ing us cither convict or acquit King and We are given a choice of veal parmi- 
White, Various members of the jury giano or lasagna. We take a vote. We 
write notes on scraps of paper to give — arc deadlocked: I's eight for parmigiano 
to the guards. Ming says to call Melanie and four for lasagna. Lam on the side of 
and tell her to feed my cats. the parmigiano, which turns out to be 
When we have our coats on, five armed recycled shirt cardboard soaked. in to- 
guards lead us out of the jury room to mato . garlic and machine oil 
the elevators and then down to the street. whose chief. virtue is that jurors accom- 
Nobody seems 10 know where we are panied by armed guards are not likely to 
going. T am looking forward to a juicy send it back to the chef. 
steak amd a couple of vodka and tonics The friendliest of the guards asks me 
and am only slightly bothered by the way if T write for rravnov. I admit 1 do but 
the five armed guards are herding us am unable to convert this into either a 
along the street toward the restaurant. vodka and ronie or an edible pormigiano. 
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and can't be 

“Has the jury reached а verdictz" asks 
the judge. 

“No, your Honor,” says the forelady. 
"We just want to hear part of the testi- 
mony read from the transcript.” 

The court reporter finds and reads the 
relevant parts of the transcript. ог 
and Klein are smiling more broadly 
than ever. King and White look as in- 
credulous and. threatening as ever. Once 
more we arc sent back into our locked, 
airless jury room to deliberate, 

The guard inlorms us that we will 
not be permitted to go home tonight but 
will spend the night sequestered in a 
hotel. If we wish to inform our families, 
we can give him notes and he will make 
the appropriate phone calls. 

It turns out T am the only juror who 
took seriously the guard's advice the pre- 
vious day to bring a toothbrush. Not 
only have 1 brought a toothbrush, T have 
also brought a сі ve of shirt, socks 
shorts, an electric r dr 

At 11:20, we are taken back into the 
courtroom, the judge once more asks us 
И we have reached a verdict and we 
once more tell him that we haven't. 
He says it is time to stop deliberating and 
go to our hotel, 

We file out of the courtroom, get our 
coats and are shepherded to the elevators 
and down to the street by the fivc armed. 
guards. 

“Where are we staying tonight?" I ask 
one of the guards. 

He just looks at me. It appears that 
this information is military secret. 
In case some zealot wants to leaflet the 
hotel and try to sway our vote, no doubt. 

“How are we getting to our hotel" 
lask. 

The gu 
without a 


rd continues to look at me 
i I realize 1 loathe 
ibbing his 
is holster to pisol-whip him, 
ly subdued and handcuffed 
h King and 
Че I am ballsy enough to 
errobbing gang when 
lammer. Pe 


of being swi 
and thrown 
White, who de 
join their cabdr 
we get out of the 
grow an Afro. 

It is beginning to become quite clear 
that we are пог jurors but prisoners. 
Somewhere along the line, when no- 
body was looking, we stopped being 
terrific upstanding. law-abiding, civic 
minded citizens sitting in judgment on 
lawbreakers and became prisoners of the 
court without the right to go anywhere 
but where we were 10d or to drink any- 
thing alcoholic or to read anythin 
news ines or to call any- 


pers or n 


body on the phone or to return to our 
. Franz Kafka undoubtedly be- 
gan writing his paranoid, surrealistic fan- 
tasies asa result of being a juror 

“I want you all to choose roommates 
says the captain of the guards 

“Сап we room with whoever 
like?" asks Christina flirtatiously. 


own home 


we 


uals are of 
ad stonily. 
a with mock 


"As long as both 
the same sex,” says th 
‘Awwww," 
petulance. 

There is nervous laughter. The men 
look at one another uneasily, wondering 
whether they'll be stuck with some closet 
fag who's going to make а pass at them. 
Allen, whom I befriended one day at 
lunch, asks if I want to share û room 
with him. I had my cye on Christina but 
say ОК. 

“Officer,” s Christina. coquettishly, 
"we are very near my house now. Why 
don't you have the driver let us off here 
and you can spend the night with me?” 

The guard gives her a leaden look, but 
she ot deflated. 

"What would you do, officer, if Y ran 
away when we got off the bus?" says 
Christina with a naughty smile. 

Arrest you amd lock you up," the 
guard replies. 


E 
says Chris 


‹ 

The bus pulls ир at the Sheraton 
Motor Inn at 12th Avenue and 42nd 
Street, overlooking the docks. We are 
led off the bus and into the lobby of 
the hotel. We are allowed to purchase 
toilet articles in the gilt shop, and then 
we are led 10 a special section of the 
hotel chat has been reserved for us. One 
of the guards hands out room assign- 


ments, Another precedes 


ch juror into 
the wires of 
nd the telephone and removes 
Фак. 

"Tt is now twelve-fifteen А.М.” says the 
captain of the guards. "We are going 
to lock vou into your rooms until eight 
лм. You are mot to attempt to make 
any phone calls or contact anybody in 
any way," 

"What about room service?” I ask. 

“You are not allowed to have room 
service," says the captain. "You will 
have breakfast tomorrow morning at 
htthirty sharp. If any gency 
es during the night, there will be a 
П night. 


TV 


emer 


ar 
guard posted in the hallway 


Call to him and hell unlock vour door." 
Allen and I go into our room and are 
locked in. We joke about being prisoners. 


but the laughter is strained. He tells me 
we must be released tomorrow—his son 
is being baptized at noon and he has to 
be there. One of the guards told him 
Judge Blumenthal would let us remain 
sequestered till Monday or Tuesday 
night before declaring us a hung jury. 
Although we have been warned not 
to discuss the case outside the jury room, 
we do anyway, but with our voices low- 
cred, fully expecting the captain of the 
rds to burst into our room at any 
moment with his pistol d 
We acknowledge thar neither of us is 
ever going to vote for acquittal, no m 
ter what, and neither of us can quite see 
either Tina or Phillip voting for convic- 
tion, and that means we are, indeed, a 
hung jury. We are 19 tough muthuhs in 


wen 


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PLAYBOY 


354 


that room and not even Henry Fonda is 
going to be able to get us all to vote the 
same verdict, one way or the other. 

We prepare for bed, each of us doing 
or saying macho things to put the other 
at ease and to ward off any sudden 
crazed homosexual attacks, and then we 
turn off the lights. 

D 
The guard wakes us promptly at eight 
Saturday morning, then unlocks the door 
nd leads us down to breakfast in the 
hotel coffee shop. Spending a night to- 
gether as a group cut off from the rest 
of the world nduced a kind of bond 
mong us, even among firm convicters 
and firm acquitters, and we razz one an- 
other at the br bout things 
ach of us has said. Ordinary people 
other tables must think we are some fan- 
tastic swingers club. I make us all vow 
to get together every year at this time at 
the Sheraton Motor Inn for a reunion. 

Shirley is late for breakfast and we 
learn that she was sick all night, cither 
from a flu yaccination or from the veal 
parmigiano at the restaurant, If she can’t 
continue deliberations, our case will have 
to be dedared a mistrial and then re- 
tried. All of us want to be released to 
return to our homes, but nobody wants 


the anticlimax of a mistrial. 

Roland is also late for breakfast. 
Somebody says he must be having trouble 
getting into his tight suede pants. June 
informs us that she dreamed she was at 
home making breakfast and then she 
thought, My God, I'm not supposed 
be here—the guards will kill me! Chri: 
tina tells us that she managed to get all 
the torn-out cs to her TV set hooked 
up last night, but then she was too afraid 
to actually turn it on and watch it. 

Roland comes into the сойсе shop, 
followed soon by Shirley. Our group is 
once more complete. We have a fine 
time eating breakfast, and we are all 
on the friendliest of tci even SI 
and Ti We are then led back onto the 
bus and driven back downtown to the 
courthouse. We are back in our window- 
less, locked jury room by 10:15. 

A vote is taken at 10:30. We decide 
to indicate not only how we vote but also 
how firm we are about it. The vote is 
eight for conviction, firm; three for ac- 
quittal, firm; and one for acquittal, not 
firm. Ellen is, not surprisingly, the only 
member of the jury who has been any- 
thing but obstinate the past several votes. 

We deliberate in a fairly lackluster 
manner for 2 while longer, then 


“Give me the number of the Snappy Pop 
Bang Cereal Company, please!” 


secret ballot. The vote from the secret 
ballot is eight for conviction, firm; four 
for acqui firm, Even Ellen has be- 
come intractable, 

Allen asks that the guard come in and, 
when he does, Allen says he must speak 
urgently to the judge about his son's 
baptism. The guard goes to speak with 
the judge, then comes back and takes 
Allen to the judge's chambers. 

Allen returns. He tells us that the 
the courtroom. 


Once more we file into the jury box 
and take our seats, Once more the eyes 
of all are upon us. Once more the roll 
is called and the judge asks us if we 
have reached а verdict, and once more 
the forelidy tells him we haven't. Just 
once, to relieve the monotony, I'd like 
to see the judge put his hands on his 
hips and say petulantly. "Not yet? 

"The judge tells us that Allen has a con- 
flict about а baptism and that he has per- 
sonally arranged with Allen's clergyman 
aptism till three т.м. He 
we return to the jury room for 
three hours. If we are not able to reach a 
ict by then, he will release u 

We are immensely relieved and return 
to the jury room in high spirits, We go 


back into our buzz-group formation, with 
two for conviction and one for acquittal 
in each group. We take another vote. 


The vote is eight for conviction, four for 
аса We give up 
It is clear we are not going to get any- 


where deliberating for the next two 
hours, so we don't even try. We just роо! 
off. tell jokes and horse around. We feel 
vaguely guilty that we have spent so 
much time and so much of the taxpayers! 
money, including those 12 swell dinners, 
in vain, but there is nothing more that 
we can do about it. There is no way in 
the world we arc ever going to get a 
nous verdict on anything out of 
group. We have tried and failed. 
Promptly at 2:30, we will go into the 
courtroom and we will be released. Allen 
сап hotfoot it uptown to see his son 
baptized and we can all pick up our lives 
where we left them before the trial. 

At two o'clock, the joking and the 
hosing around taper ой and everybody 
becomes silent. The thought on every- 
body's mind is like Peter Fonda's line in 
Easy Rider: “We blew i 

Steven, our easygoing architect, begins 
to speak. He speaks quietly and seriously 
and he once more goes over all the sa- 


lient points in the trial. His voice grows 
louder and his rhetoric more and. more 
impassioned. ize that the an- 
swer to Christi about which 
one of us is going to do the Henry Fonda 
role has been answered. Steven docs a 
brilliant and a stirring job—Henry 


would have been proud. 

Once more we are plunged into heated 
debate, With Jess than. five minutes re- 
n g, tempers flare and people st 


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one another across the ta- 
We decide to take one last vote, a 
secret written ballot, Tina is so furious 
she refuses even to write hers down. The 
vote is taken. It is eight for conviction, 
four for acquittal. Everyone is too worked 
up even to speak, 

The guard unlocks the door and leads 
us silently back into the courtroom. 

And so, for the Last time, we take our 
seats in the jury box and feel the eyes of 
the judge, D.A., court reporter, defense 
attorneys and prisoners upon us. And so, 
for the last time, the roll is called and 
the judge asks the forelady if we have 
: and for the last time, 
she tells him that, no, we have not. 

The judge thanks us for our ellorts and 
our time, and then he releases us. We file 
out of the jury box and into the jury 
room to get our coats, everybody still 
too overwrought to talk, and the guard 
takes us to the elevator. 

As we wait for the elevator to a 
for the very 
the silence with the question that 
of our minds, 

Are they going to be retried?" 

The guard looks at the speaker as if 
ata child who has asked a question that 
only the very naive might ask. 

YA course they're going to be re- 
tried,” he says. “They're guilty.” 
. 


mi 


Monday. He 
the vote w 


if she told him what 
as, he'd tell her how cach mem 
ber of the jury had voted. She told him 
the vote. He was right about everybody. 
“I knew it was going to be а hung jury 


from the very start," he said. "Th - 
ute the jury was first impaneled, I turned 
to the D.A. and said, 
you've got a hung jury." 

Several months later, I was in a ca 
one night with my girlfriend. As 1 usual- 
ly do when cab, I looked at the 
driver's face and then at his name on 
1 at the front of the cab, ‘The face 
ack, The name on the card was 
Muller. I leaned forw. 

Excuse me," I said, 
tive? 

Muller looked a 


the 


аге you 


а detec- 


ied. Either he w: 
g or else he was 
he could not be 

a detective. 
iid. looking at me care- 


thrilled to be recognized. 
"Yeah," he 


I was on a jury in which you testified,” 
1. "Two voung black guys charged 
with attempted homicide—King and 
White." 

He looked at me and smiled. "I 
thought you looked famil he 
ned to those guys? 
s cut loose. He's back on the 
ets. And White copped a ple 


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youll find a shoe in the Florsheim 
Designer Collection that goes perfectly 
with them. 

And because we re Florsheim, 
we make our designer shoes ina 
wide range of sizes. 

That way, our Designer 
Collection styles will fit 
you every bit as well as 
they fit the clothes you 
wear them with. 


r Солк 


For Free Style Brochure, Write Florsheim, Depr. 200, 130 Sc: Canal Sc, Chicago, ЇЇ. 60606 


PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


GOT YOU ON TAPE 
You may not know that the Fotomat Corporation, which runs those pint- 
sized drive-up yellow booths where you drop off undeveloped film as an 
excuse to talk to the sexy Fotomaid, now converts all super-8 movies 
(silent or sound) to video tape for showing through a home recorder 
onto the small screen. The cost of this service is only 58.75 for 400 fcet, 
plus cassette. (A cassette sells for about $14.95.) Or, if you're into 
still photography, they'll work up a video slide show of your favorite 
pix for only S5 for 80 slides, plus cassette. Show time! 


NEON NOEL 

We don’t know what kind of Christmas 
tree you trim—Scotch pine, fir or plastic, 
perhaps—but we do know that you can 
be the first on your block to own a two- 
foot-high neon one that lasts indefinitely 
and uses very little current, if you rush a 
200 money order to the Kare Gas Co., 
1479 North Farwell Avenue, Milwaukee, 
Wisconsin 53202. Remember, it's a life 
time buy—and just think of all those 


needles you won't have to sweep up. 


PINBALL WIZARD, CLEAN UP YOUR ACT! 
Most people who purchase pinball games such as the ones pictured 
in this issue don't know ata company name d Nu Look Products, Р.О. 
Box 6255, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19136, manufactures some nifty 
items designed to keep your machine at its wham-bam best. For $3.75. 
postpaid, you can get a pint of Playfield Cleaner /Waxer; for $3.50, 
postpaid, there's a quart of glass cleaner that repels finger marks; 
and $5 gets you a quart of Guardian, which protects your painted 
pinball glass. Sorry, Nu Look doesn't manufacture no-tilt foam. 


LOOK INTO MY EYE 
At your next party, set an Eye-Form 
Hologram on the bar and watch а roomful 
of bibbers straighten up and try to fly 
right. An Eye-Form is haunting; the 
threc-D image changes colors as you move 
it about and there's something very 
human about the way it stares you down. 
Eyc-Forms are available from Le Cirque, 
cjo Harney and Moore, 650 Grand 
Avenue, Los Angel lifornia 90017, for 
$35, postpaid. Here's looking at you, kid 


CHARMING COMPANY 
We haven't seen a charm 
bracelet on a girl in years, but 
we'd like to see more of a 
product called Body Charms 
that Beautemps, Inc., 15 
Columbus Circle, New York, 
New York 1002: selling 

for $12, postpaid. What you 
get are five I8-kt-gold- 

plated body stencils or 
"charms" (in the shapes of a 
star, half moon, dove, butter- 
fly and an ankh) and two 
small jars containing gold 
and black powders. All you do 
is dip a charm into one of 

the powders and press to flesh. 
‘The pattern appears and 

lasts for hours, depending, 

of course, on where on her 
body you apply the charm. 


JUAN VALDEZ, 

WE PRESUME 
For $25 a year, armchair 
adventurers can become mem- 
bers of the South American 
Explorers Club (its postal 
address is Casilla 8714, Lima 
100, Peru), and any time you're 
in Lima, drop by the club 
rooms to admire the snake 
preserved in a bottle of alco- 
hol on the mantelpiece. Or, 
for $13, you can just receive 
the club's magazine, a funky 
40-page quarterly publication 
that runs such esoterica as a 
piece on Robinson Crusoe's 
island. Place it next to your 
shrunken-head collection апа 
watch your dates go wild. 


WIND INSTRUMENT 
As George Carlin would say 
“The temperature is twenty- 
seven degrees—but with the 
wind-chill factor, it's one 
hundred and eight below!” 
Fresh-air freaks who'd like 
to know just what the tem- 
perature really is when they 
venture into the cold can buy 


a portable Wind Chill Meter 
from Edmund Scientific, 7789 
Edscorp Building, Barrington, 
New Jersey 08007. for $10.95. 
postpaid, with batteries. The 


gizmo measures 334" x 11/4!" x 
1" and has a wrist/belt strap 
so you won't lose it on the 
slopes. Get one for you and 
one for your brass monkey. 


PIPE THIS 
Some have called the building of the Alaska 
Pipeline mankind's greatest private 
engineering feat. Others consider it the ultimate 
insult to what's left of our wildernesses. 
For members of both camps, WMP Research 
and Development, 205 W. 35th Street, 
Suite J, National City, California 92050, is 


offering a limited edition of mounted and sealed 
vials of the first crude oil to flow through the 
pipe for $10.20 cach, postpaid. Or you can get a 
pipeline desk-pen set for $15. Pretty slippery. 


TO EXCEL, TRY 2-XL 
“Hello, my name is 2-XL, but you can call me 
Unde Brainy.” Although 2-XL, a foot tall 
talking robot, was primarily designed as an 
educational toy for children, adults can't resist 
playing with him. His crazy mechanical voice 
works off an eight-track tape and when he tells 
you to, you quickly choose your answer from 
quizzes on nostalgia, sports, etc., by pushing 
the correct button on his chest. You can get 
2-XL in toy stores for 560-580. Turn him — 
on and be prepared to feel stupid. 


YOU ARE 
VERY SMART. 
I LIKE YOU. 


359 


PLAYBOY 


360 


The G3lounder (continucd from page 140) 


“If he failed to squeeze out so much as an undersized 
sausage, toads’ eggs were funneled into him.” 


to us, because we 
г feces. In smelling our 
turds, we smelled ourselves, These were 
no foreign bodies. If we needed food and 
enjoyed the taste, how could we [ail to 
c pleasure in evacuating what re- 
ined of it? We looked upon cach 
hg 
ceri well. Co 
horde shit-together, for wl 
y. were obliged to assemble twice 
п, a formula 
а or last tribute. 
the horde cook, our 
nspecied our feces, which 
п the meantime. Although 
plished a fixed order of 
sequence, she strode around the circle, 
finding an exegetic word for each of us, 


m 
departing turd w 


nd with a 
sequently, the 
ch we assem- 


itude, 


sadness 


she never cst 


even the most meager shitter, for which 
reason this most huma 
must be recognized as pri 


cratic. All squatted in equality, none 
exalted 


unsuc 
he rei 


ined constipated over a period of 
days, he was punished—ay is still custom- 
ary—by be ide to shit alone. And if 
even then he failed to squeeze out so 
much as a hard and undersized sausage, 
toads’ eggs were funneled into him. Awa 
wielded the Neolithic spoon, the ladle- 
like shoulder blade of an elk cow. "That 


mies of the people,” 
are sometimes punished or tortured by 


“H was educational .. . until now, 1 thought you 
were well hung.” 


being made to cat their own fascist, Com- 
1 shit. 


munist, archist, or even liber 
We would not have felt hum 
ent, because our 
as not only 
but practical as well: In 
we ate it, without pk 
out disgust. Today only 
nat attitude toward the end prod 
of their digestion and toward the p 


asur 
able process of metabolism. for which 


айий have devised such coy euphemisms: 
number two. Big busines. To go where 
even the Kaiser must go on foot. To dis- 
appear for a moment. 
ou barbarians!” cried the Flounder 
when, more or less in passing, I told him 
about our maternally approved shit- 
togethers. "Pigs!" he screamed. "When 
in King Minos’ palace they've alr 
got flush toilets.” He tried to talk me into 
a sense of shame. And soon, оп 
years later, T developed onc 
alone like everyone else. The 
lectured me on culture a 
listened, though I really never. under- 
stood whether the individualizition of 
the bowel movement cultural de- 
velopment or an advance in civilization. 
In the Neolithic, in any case, when we 
knew only the horde shit-together and 
¢ daily struck up her vowel- 
no strangers to hy. 
beaten, 
had a collective toilet, 
ast. if not the big family 
size.) Tell me the truth. Isebill, even if 
you didn't want to fish your gold tooth 
out of vour excrement, and (like most. 
people) vou use the word shit exclusively 
and quite unjustifiably as ап expletive. 
Admit it, Hsebill, don't use your preg- 
admit that you, too, 
look behind you, though difidently and 
much too genteelly. You like to smell 
yourself as much as I do myself. And I 
would gladly smell and gladly be 
smelled by you. Lov i 
And so the id Agnes Kur- 
biel re Tor painter 
Maller and poet Opitz, inspected her 
lovers’ feces each day 
in verses. Salui 


we wer 


giene: coltsfoot leaves, Never bee 
(Ah, if only м 


. who cool 


id honored. them 


he 
Oi 
breeches that he was dod 
lamented softly: 


ies recog 


The Lord hath meant to give me 
the alarm: 

where shylte is black, beset with 
many a worm, 

the shylier soon must come to griev- 
ous harm. 


BEDTIME StORY 


T'I tell you a story to put you to sleep. 
A story about prehistoric times when all 


In Saronno,we have a gift for 
Nu love. 


For it is here that the drink 
of love — Amaretto — was first 
created, over 450 years ago. 

And here in Saronno, we 
still make cur extraordinary 
Amaretto as we have for cen- 
turies. We allow the flavor to de- 
velop until it is rich and subtle 
and intriguing, a delight to the 
senses. We make love slowly and 
carefully —is there any other way? 

Enjoy Amaretto di Saronno 
as it is oron the rocks or in a de- 
licious mixed drink. And at this 
time of year, what a pleasure it 
is to give. Because our beautiful 
Amaretto di Saronno comes in 
a most beautiful gift box, with 
roses on the cover. 

But please. Be sure that what 
you are drinking and giving is che 
original — Amaretto di Saronno. 

Otherwise, you may not 
experience love. You may be just 
fooling around. 


To send a gift of Amaretto di Saronno in the 
continental U.S. (except Alaska), call (800) : 
528-6148 toll free. Charge to your credit card. Lagi S6 pea tpn by Fo nc. Јако New Kek. ©1978 


Amaretto di Saronno: The Original 
From the Village of Love. 


361 


PLAYBOY 


362 


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PÉAYBOY-ES SG, ar 
LAKE GENEVA EI. 


the women had three tits. Or something 
else. The story of the Flounder, for in- 
stance. ,.. 
‘There was once a butterball, Her 
ame was—hey, what was her namei— 
Iisebill She had a man, and his name 
was x. She sat home all the time, 
painting her nails with green polish. He 
always went fishing on week off the 
harbor breakwater. And while Max 
fished and fished, his butterball wife 
would paint her fingernails green, and 
then she'd lie all alone in her piss pot, 
wishing this, that and some other guy 
into her bed. 
afternoon, when Мах was 
fishing off the breakwater, a Flounder bit. 
's a flatfish. His popeyes аге out of 
his blubbery mouth, He occurs 
in a fairy tale, so naturally he could talk, 
and he said to Max, ‘Set me frec and you 
can make а wish,” 

“So Max took the Flounder off the 
hook, threw him back into the sea with a 
splash and said, ‘Oh, Flounder. My Ilsc- 
bill is just a cuddly little wife; all she 
wants to do is kiss and cuddle, fuck and 
be fucked, by this one and that one апа 
that one and this one. With me she’s 
never satisfied, She always wants to be 
banged by some guy that’s not me. She 
thinks my stinkhorn stinks. What should 
I do, oh, what should I do? 

“So what kind of guy does she want to 
do it with?’ asked the Flounder, giving 
crooked look from the water. 
"Well, with a fre chief in uniform, 
for instance,’ said the fishe n, looking 
out over the smooth sea, ‘cause he was 
fishing in the Baltic. 

"You're a fire chief already. with 
braid and buttons,’ said the Flounder, 
and he dove under. 

“So Max in uniform climbed into bed 
with his Ilsebill and fucked her so hard 
that his buttons popped. And he kept it 
up until Hsebill had enough of the fire 
chief and her legs went stiff and she 
started to fidget and moan, ‘Oh, if only I 
could have a judge in there! 

“So then Max called the Flounder out 
of the slightly ruffled sea, and the Floun- 
der turned Max into a judge in robes 
and hornrimmed glasses and a black 
barret. And when Hsebill was fed up 
with his stinkhorn and wanted an extra- 
neurotic anarchist betwee 
Flounder put Max th 
bed with a stocking mask, ticking bomb 
and all. By that time, the B 
making little short-winded waves 

“That was a big success for a whole 
week, because ПѕеЫ found this chai 
ter ‘terribly interesting, But when she 
finally realized that even anarchists have 
only two balls, she 
markable about him, I'd like to know? 
Right in the middle, he starts thinking 
about something else and shoots his 
mouth off about politics. What 1 want 


S . 
Fotomat makes 
itso easy. 


© FOTOMAT CORPORATION, 1978. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 


PLAYBOY 


364 


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now is а stinking-rich bank president, 
just to tide me over while Tm shaking 
off the h; 

“So with the wind blowing at gale 
force five to six, Max called the Flounder. 
and the Flounder made him president of 
the Bundesbank, and he pulled up at 
Пер in a silver-blue Mercedes. This 
bank presidents hair was all 
over, even around his cock. So when 
lhebill. in her cuddlesome way, had 
finished olf capitalism, she wante 
onl brief interlude, to be sere 
а beer-assed tradeunion functionary and 
then—by this time squalls were making 
the Baltic dangerous—at last, at J 
las, by 1, what's 
more, she w is shooting 
and bright 

“When he heard that—the wind was 
blowing at gale force ten—the Flounder 
cried, "Looks to me like your Hsebill will 
never get her hole full. It's always mor 
More and more!” All the same, thong 
without much enthusiasm, he turned the 
nto a regular Belmon- 
do, who, while the camera hummed, 
leaped (from the wardrobe) into our 
VHscbill's bed, where he immediately per- 
formed terrific. disrobe-bite-uck. scenes 
with fade-ins of similar scenes from other 
films, 

But when Hsebill had milked 
dry he was really cor 


nion boss 


there!” And she trumpeted. the destiny 
тош. 


sigh but turned him one-two 
topllight maestro who could 
a the sun without a score. 
But w alter three encores, Isebill 
had finished him off, 
wept several 


oo, our butterball 


ig tears and moane 


Everything secondhand. Now 1 want 
ol Beethoven to fiddle me front 
back. 

"But when the exhausted Max reported 
to the Flounder, the flatfish cried from 
out of his unleashed element, "Enc 
enough, Now she's going too I 
assis! From now on 
evermore, like it or not, she'll have to 
make do with her Max. Every Saw 


and 


oth 

And big feather-hed clouds w 
ng across the sk; 
‘So Hsebill had to content herself with 
. From then on, she lived entirely on 
memories. But they were pleasant 


—Translated by Ralph Manheim. Copyright © 1977 
by Hermann Luchterhand Verlag. English translation 
copyright © 1978 by Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Inc. 


THINNER 
TEXTURED 


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PLAYBOY 


366 


“Saint Jack" (continued from page 286) 


“I think “Saint Jack” is as good as anything Pu 
done. It’s certainly the most ambitious. 


2» 


past two pictures have been с 
box-ofhce failures. Yet he is sa 
turned down million-dollar offers to d 
rect such projects as The Exorcist, The 
Way We Were, The Great Gatsby, A Мат 
Is Bom and Hurricane because he did 
not cure for those projects, OF the H 
picture, he reportedly exclaimed, 

don't want to stand around Bora Bc 
for five months, yelling, ‘More wind! Get 
that sarong to Пу oN!” But what of his 
carcer? Did he feel great pressure to come 
up with a Һи? Lying languidly 
the two chairs now, arm d 
his head rather like the f 
graph of Tra apote sprawled on a 
red, "Let's put 

to sur 
wh: 


n art. 


in an industry—a business, 
ever—if you pay for yoursell. Know wh 
1 mean? Howard Hawks said to me," 

here his voice took on a pompous tone, 
"Peter, FII just give you one piece of 
dvice: Make pictures that make mon- 
cy!" Bogdanovich licked his eyes heav- 
enward. “It's good advice, but the thing 
is, you have to make a picture that's 
good, and hope that it also makes moncy. 
Otherwise, the emphasis is wrong. The 
couple of times I've compromised—tried 


10 cut something, shorten it or tried to 
make it more commercial—I've fucked 
up the picture. I've d. d itin way 
1 wish I hadn't. 

"The key thing is to try to make the 
best picture yow can and to still all 
those voice 
sell” Exeryt 
choice. Should 
'd? Should 
there? Should we do another take? 
when you make choices 
should be as innocent and аз free of fi- 
nancial considerati le. Other- 
wise 
irrevocably tipped. The wrong way. "Jee, 
that’s a little rough, you know 
we should soften it a little.’ ‘Jeez, that's 
8 lotta pe 
soon you end up with « 

Bog d а choice to make 
that very moment. The film cutter who 
was busy changing the rough print of 
Saint Jack imo a smooth one appeared 
in the open doorway. and the d 
followed him outside and around the 
mer to a handsomely appointed edit- 
ing room, where the tins of footage from 
those months in Singapore stood in neat 
stacks against the wall. As Peter and his 


ton 


those 


you 


nna ollend. 


“That'll be twenty dollars, 
! Mr. Claus. . .. Never mind what I'll find 
under my tree Christmas morning!” 


nces of 


cutter went over and over the nu 
a few frames from the movies final 
scene, Saint k himself, Ben Gazzara, 


strode in silently, pulling a big cigar. He 
was shorter than might have been ex- 
peared, as actors often ате; but his eyes 
shone with a personal intensity that 
made the object of his gaze feel Gazzara 
had been his closest friend for years. 
В ne," Bogdanovich had 
Jier said of his star. “Once 1 thought of 
him for the part, I didn't even offer it 
ight 


meri 
nature and havi 
s something . . . wounded 
Iso, which was good for this. 


about him 
With one or two exceptions, I never felt 
movies found the proper role for him. I 
think this is it. 

Editing problem solved, director and 


actor went to the library for coffee. 
Bogdanovich spoke of the ephemeral na- 
ture of moviemaking. “You're dealing 
with feelings, with a twitch, with some- 


thing that happens by chance—l tip 
this cup, like so—then you do it the sec- 

1 time and it looks contrived. John. 
Ford st wh, 10 me—that the 


in movies often 1 
Welles said 
ally isa n 


best things 
accident, Orson he thinks 
the director essen} 1 who pre- 
over lents. It sounds mystical, 
and it is, to a degree. If you're outside 
and thc 
only 


ppen by 


goes bel cloud—it's 
to do that once.” He referred, 
of course, to that wonderful 
during Ben Johnson's poignant soliloquy 
in The Last Picture Show, the film that 
for no predictable reason became an 
enormous success and made its unknown. 
creator Wunderkind lor a season. 
“Some of the best things,” he co 
ued, "are things that just happen once 
and then don't happen again. They just 
don't. No matter how much you want 
them to. 
A phone bel a buzzed and Bog- 
оу picked it up to talk to his sec- 
retary. "Johnny's calling me? Where, on 
one? Yeah?” It was John Cassavetes, who 
had seen the rough cut of Saint Jack 
a screening the night before. "John- 
- . - . Did you really? 15 that good? 
h? You know, it's funny, because, vou 
know how it is when you. . . . You do? 
God, I hope so,” And as Cassavetes told 
im he thought Saint Jack was a master- 
piece, that it captured a sense of place 
as no film had ever done, il 
it would certainly get wonderful not 
and be very commercial as well, the d 
rector nibbled his thumbnail and looked 
worried. “I think аси do well in New 
York. 1 think they're ready for me. Yeah. 
Could happen all over again? Christ, 1 
hope youre right,” said Bogda 
"Wouldn't that be nice? For everybody. 


moment 


у 1 


3 


572 


The low tar 
aoe 


Atos 
ay pe Aga Tis 


tet eeeseeesert АШ 
i»»2 88 6 eee eee? 


+ 
FIFA 
EEE 


2/1 


he reason Pioneer 
ook on Nakamichi 
and not Marantz? 


эз play TET peuse 


°»» 000000 


Maybe you saw the recent ad where Pioneer com- 
pared their $600.CT-F1000 cassette deck to the $1650 
Nakamichi 100011! Pioneer came out looking pretty 
good, considering the $1000-plus price difference. 

But it would have been a different story if Pioneer 
compared their $600 machine to the $431** Marantz 
5030B cassette deck. So let's do it for them: 

The Pioneer and the Nakamichi both feature a 
three-head design that lets you monitor off the tape 
as you record. So does the Marantz 5030B. The 
Nakamichi and the Pioneer have separate Dolby sys- 
tems for playback and record. Just like the Marantz. 


They both feature controls that let you go from 
fast forward to reverse without punching the stop 
button first, and without breaking or jamming the 
tape. The Marantz lets you do that too. 

And both feature a total harmonic distortion of 
less than 1.5%, and wow and flutter of only 0.05%. 
Ditto for the Marantz. 

(In all fairness we should point out the Nakamichi 
does give vou certain extras, including auto rewind 
and a pitch control as well as a slightly extended 
Írequency response— extras you'd expect for $1650!) 


toe Cassete Dick 


And now the similarity ends. Because here's where 
the Marantz beats them both hands down—in 
features and price! The Marantz has extended range 
VU meters and LED peak level indicators. Plus an 
easy to use combined bias and equalization control 
(more costly to make than separate controls). And 
super-hard Permalloy heads that out-last ordinary 
Permalloy heads, while sounding better, to many 
experts, than ferrite heads. 

Then theres the Marantz’ master level control to 
simultaneously control line and mic gain. Plus a pre- 
calibrated Dolby" circuityou never have to align, ever. 

For all those plusses, here are two important 
minuses: The Marantz sells for 31219 less than the 
Nakamichi. $169 less than the Pioneer. 

So that’s the story. And well end on a note of agree- 
ment with Pioneer: If you cant hear the difference, 
why pay for it? 

See the 5030B and other Marantz cassette decks, 
from $189.95** to $449.95?" at your dealer's today. 


There’s never been a better time to bu 


жалата аса шеа зала ШШ a. в 
We sound better. 


(1978 Marantz Co.. Ine., a subsidiary of Superscope. Ine., 20525 Nordhoff St., Chatsworth. CA 91311. “Dolby is a trademark of Dolby Laboratories. 
"Stereo Review, August, 1978; Audio, August. 1978. ""Priceis for informational value only. Actual prices set by Marantz Retail Dealers. 


SEX STAIRS 


(continued from page 218) 
move out of the house. But I didn't” 


Maybe Needham’s second million. on 
Hooper will gain Burt some privacy 
“Why havent we ever fucked?” Jill 


Cloyburgh asked. Reynolds in Semi-Tough, 
a question that Scarlett would never 
have asked Rhett. But its the kind of 


interrogation—tough, slightly bawdy but 


ble, to—that has become Clay- 
vs trademark in a rapid carcer rise, 
starting with the universally panned 
Gable and Lombard, moving on to the 
comic relict of Silver Streak and capped 
this vear with a marvelous. performance 


in An Unmarried Woman, She'll next 
be seen in Bernardo Bertolucci’s The 
Moon and bets are it will be another 
aring for Jill. who just may 


le best actress among all the 


"rest 


be the sir 


beautiful women on the list. 


Iso busy this year, 


Jocqueline Bisset was 
finishing. her 
Althoug! 
ly go wild over her ersatz Jackie Ken- 
medy role in The Greek Tycoon, the 
rebuil didn't slow her down. She quickly 
turned to a comedy, Someone [s Killing 
the Great Chefs of Europe, then jumped 
from that into / Love You, I Love You 
Nol, assuring Bisset lans of a steady 
supply 

In FAST. 


With picture in the past 


decade audiences didn't exact 


Sylvester Stollone's first film 
$ smash Aocky, the moody mus- 
n was still smoldering, but the 
cooled oll. There were lots of 
troubles both at home and behind the 
as Stal- 
lone wrestled with ego problems, But 


he scemed to settle dow 


clem 


ashes 


scenes on that second picture, 


some on his 
ley, and w 
ting into shape for Rocky I. So it's far 
from a ten count on Sly's career, but his 


year’ 


third film, Paradise 


chins plenty sore from t 


poundings 

Tough guy Clint Eastwood showed no 
signs of weakening alter another hit, 
The Gauntlet. But the 
married man of 24 years was looking for 
somebody to slug alter repeated rumors 
of an on-location romance with Санні 


monogamous, 


Tet co-star Sondra Locke, Denying any ro- 
mantic interest, Eastwood signed her on 
again for his next picture, Every Which 
Way but Loose, a comedy about him and 
an orangutan. Warning to lan-mag edi- 
tors: Avoid any stoops about Clints 
айай with the ape. 

And so it goes with the superstars 
Alter sd y years with the same ones, 
however, the Fortu- 
€ fresher loves. Or, in 
other words, what's happening with the 
alden Farrah? Alas, she of the teeth 
id the hair insisted upon maintaining 
undying devotion to hubby tee Mojors, 
even though his career fattened as hers 
soared. While she quit Charlie's Angels 


excitement dims. 
nately, there à 


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369 


PLAYBOY 


370 


voluntarily, his Six Million Dollar Man 
тап out of spa nge. Thus, for differ- 
ent reasons, they both went into the 
movies. But first starving film, The 
Norseman, was quickly unhelmeted 
while her Somebody Killed Her Hus- 
band was still im preparation. What 
worse, he had to listen to the usual bull- 
shit rumors that she was fooling around 
with cos! Jeff Bridges, but nobody 
seemed to c he might—or might 
not—be doing many miles away on the 
Norseman set with his co-star, Susie Coelho, 
except maybe her boyfriend, Sonny Bono. 
Whatever her future, h already 
has her heiresses, or, as some would зау, 
her dones. The most obvious cam е 
was Cheryl Ladd, who inherited her role as 
the third angel. But. Cheryl is a rela- 
tively modest and demure in-law of an 
important Hollywood family (she's the 
sisterinlaw of 20th Century-Fox chief 
Alen Ladd, Jr., son of the late actor), so 
she has allowed the publicity to go only 
so far. And, as Farrah proved, these days 
you get ahead on pure hype. 
Enter Suzonne Somers. A long 
player whose film career peaked as the 
silent, mysterious Thunderbird blonde 
in American Graffiti, Somers finally hit 
it big as the dally part of the trio on 
Three's Company. But she also did some- 
thing smarter. No sooner did she have 
the role than she went straight to F; 


e cha 


press agent/manager and asked put they were settled 
ke her a star, too. And, via And so did Chevy Chose while fi 
talk shows а he did, Foul Play, but the split wasn't. perma- 
only momentarily stumped by onc mag's ent. Richard Dreyfuss did split with his 
sudden revelation that Suzanne had longtime lady, Lucinda Vallez, to run 
once been arrested for a bad check: She's {ree for a while, but he was about the 
so photogenic she even looked good in ОШУ major star to rejoin the eligible list. 
the mug shots. Despite the adoration heaped upon him, 

That. in fact, was about as close as Travolta couldn't find a real-life love to 


a Hollywood star came to scandal, 1CPlace the late Diana Hylond. 


him to 


though the bigwigs in the executive OM. yes, there was the bitter breakup 
suites were dodging the Jaw from all ©! Marisa Berenson and businessman 
directions. Except for a few drug busts, Jim Rendell, who, she comp ‚ kept 
you can't stir up a good celebrity scandal her а virtual prisoner in their mansion 


and piled dirty dishes outside her door. 
She finally got out but lost the title role 
in Vivien Leigh, which Randall is pro- 
ducing. So she went off to Rio to do 
Greed and was seriously injured in an 
auto accident. АЙ in all, а messy year 
for Marisa. 

For most of Hollywood, though, the 
business of make-believe—even the en- 
ticement of sexual fantasy—rem 5 very 
much a business, a job that starts too 
carly in the morning and. ends too late 


You Comin Back, Red Ryder? Kate ja. Ж Bight. When they're working, they're 
son, another Charlie's Angel, and Andrew Elly too tired for much else. As a 
Stevens, son of Stella and star of The — "ater of fact, if you believe their com- 
tard on TV, flew to the Martha's Plains in pr йе мз жиз Йй 
ке mer рал vee aren't getting all that much and 
Жей 18 weds wit Калий a ed ERE ee ЩЕ lovers mm with them. 
honor. As previously mentioned, Stak АП, well, things are tough all over. 

Jone had some marital problems while a 


anymore, especially when it comes to 
sex. Even Cher has settled down, forgoing 
her marriages to and divorces from Gregg 
Allman in favor of a steady fling with the 
masked rocker, Gene Simmons ol 3 

Monogamy is running rampant among 
celebrities, though not always with bene- 
fit of clergy. Even one of the town's 
most eligible and bon vivant bachelors, 
Merjoe Gertrer, surprised everyone by slip- 
ping across the border to marry Condy 
Clark while the two were filming When 


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372 


AIR CRASH uos 


“The truth is there is no proper position for luggage 
and it should be banned from under the seats.” 


an evacuation? Or of the urgency of sim- to most airline passengers—can. become 
ply getting out of the plane alter a crash a deadly menace in а crash, Many 
because of the danger of death from sengers wy to take their luggage with 
those deadly twins, smoke and fire? Most them after a crash, This can create sta- 
aportant, have you ever been told that y problems when they my to hold on 
re may be more exits aboard some to it and use an emergency chute or slide 
jetliners than there are flight attendants wing, The impact of the crash 
to open them? Part of the problem with often dislodges the luggage and tosses it 
evacuation is that passengs y into the aisle. Most flight attendants аге 
no idea of what to expect when a plane constantly checking carry-on luggage for 
crashes proper positioning, But the truth is there 
in the is no proper position and the luggage 
It is not unusual for the ceiling panels, should be banned from under the seats. 
overhead racks, life rafts, blankets, din- Another pet peeve of mine is the safety 
ner trays from the galley, oxygen masks belt. Not enough attention is paid to it. 
or movie projectors to tumble to the It may seem trivial to some, but release 
sles and seats. Worse, carry-on lug- ol a seat belt—especially for those per 
зве ас one item that is so very dear sons who Йу infrequently—cm be a 


“Gee, Michelangelo, for a great artist 
8 & 
yow re nol very horny!" 


problem that will waste time when sec- 
nds can mean the diflerence between 
Ис and death. What investigators have 
found is that some passengers, under the 
stress of the crash and the evacuation, 
revert to a previously learned response of 
opening their automobile seat belt, 
which most commonly has a button to 
push. Critical moments are wasted while 
they fumble with their belts, trying to 
А brief lecture on 
possible problem could save lives. Even 
more effective would be a recommenda- 
tion by the Air Transport Association of 


Air 


standardize all seat-belt designs. 

Another safety problem in the cabin 
that can only be solved by repeated edu- 
cation is improper use of the oxygen 
1 seen the flight attendant 
gle the mask for our edification and 
then place it over her face and turn from 
ide to side to show how it should fit. But 


systems, it is necess 
to get the oxygen flow 
must pull the mask toward vou to acti- 
vate the flow of oxygen. In many tests, 
passengers have been shown to lean for- 
ward into the mask, which seems the 
more natural thing to do, but by doing 
this, they get no oxygen, since the "pull- 
ing” of the mask activates the system. 
True, the flight attendants allude to 
this. but they do it with a smile 
briefly, I think a few well-chosen pli 
by flight attendants on the qu ies of 
e an impression on the 
ge passenger. For one, they could 
t ош that when you are using the 
oxygen mask, there is по smell 10 oxy- 
gen. More dangerous, in a decompression 
incident, vou have no feeling of a need 
for oxygen. That has led passengers to 
believe their masks were not working and 
they have begun moving from seat to 
seat to find a "working" mask: and that 
can prove fatal. Others have been known 
to place the mask over their mouth de 
ing decompression and breathe through 
their nose, yet another bad mistake. 1 
know that most airlines require flight 
attendants to use the phrase “placing the 
mask over your nose and mouth," but it 
1s done without any real emphasis on the 
reason behind it. Nor is mention often 


to pull 


made of the need for mothers to first 
place the mask 10 their own faces, and 
then immediately attend to a child. Not 


the other way around, If that isn’t done, 
the mother could lose consciousness 
while she attempted to care for the child, 
nd then both mother and child would 


face the of death. 

What is also lacking in the briefing is 
a sense of u 
masks. И there is 


rapid decompression 


There will always 
be men whose tastes 
demand the tradi 
tional. 

Like Amphora Pipe 
Tobacco. 

Created in the Dutch 
tradition, Amphora is a 
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smoke, yet bite-free. 
With a subtle taste, a 
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world, but still has a 
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The pipe tobacco with the 


‚ | 228 year-old Dutch Touch. 


373 


Today's watches give the time 
in many ways. With hands, 
with digits, with lights. But 
without a battery your watch 
would have nothing to say. 
"Eveready'' batteries supply 
the power that makes every- 
thing work. 

And we've been doing it 


WAICH 
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since 1957 when we devel- 
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Today, most of the world's 
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vse batteries made by Union 
Carbide. 

And with good reason. 
"Eveready'' Watch Batteries 
have special patented sealing 


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pos 
as 15 seconds, If you tl 
dramati; the lack of 
about oxygen masks, consider this exam- 
ple: A ОСЛО jumbo jet was descendin 
from 35,000 feet near Brownsville, Te: 
etting ready [or 
proach to Mexico City, when it suffered 
a pressurization malfunction. The DC- 
10's oxygen masks are packaged in pas- 
sengerseat backs, but in an emergency, 
doors open automatically and the oxy- 
gen masks are exposed. The system 
worked perfectly, but only two of the 53 
passengers removed the stowed s to 
activate the oxygen. generators. The 51 
other passengers either did nothing or 
merely leaned forward and attempted to 
breathe without fully removing the 
masks from their comp: из. 

The f nts had to. circulate. 
through the cabi acting, the pa 
sengers on how to use the masks. Pictur 


as їп 1974, 


the scene if the decompression had been 
a rapid опе. In my mind, rapid decom- 
pression is always a possibility, but the 
threat, E [eel isam onc. Decom- 
pression "accidents" average about three 
а year, But in only one of those has de 
compression heen rapid enough to cost a 
life. However, it is the potential that 
concerns me. So I advocate that the pa 
senger be given more detailed lectures I 
flight attendants on oxygen m their 
problems and their lifesaving potential. 
Probably the most myst of all 
safety devices aboard an i 
escape slide. It is never se 
talked about and, in most cases, a. pas 
шег finds out 
when he has to evacu 
that p 
into wl 


is existence only 
te an airplane. At 
t, he is being asked to 
at looks to him like a kings 
msy, bed sheet. That is wrong. 
ssengers should be told about evacu 
ion slides by the flight attendants and 
not simply be expected to read about 
them on a seatback card, assuming they 
find. one to read in the seat back. Many 
of the inju 
results of 
tom, try’ ‹ 
the slide or taking perso: 
with them down the slide, You can see 
that, in part, these ies are due to 
the lack of mental preparedness on th 
part of the passenger. In effect, he is sud 
denly asked to trust his body to an un. 
known g а lot from 
someone who may just have survived an 

rplane crash and is driven to the exit 
by smoke and fire. But a [ew words 
the fl 
ing a pretake-off briefing would help 
measurably to prepare the passenger. 

While I am on the subject of escape 
slides, I want to talk about shoes. For 
years, in emergencies, flight attendants 
have been telling passengers to take off 
their shoes to prepare for a crash, In the 
past, it was true that shoes, particularly 


but very Й 
Р. 


n jump into 
al belongings 


rom 
t attendant about the slides dur- 


m- 


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the stiletto heels favored by women, im- 
peded walking in a wrecked airplane, 
and they could (ear holes in е ation 
slides. But time has marched on and 
most women no loi the same 
Kind of spiked heels. Also, escape slides 
are now made of stronger ma аһ. More 
importantly, investigations have shown 
that in many cases, passengers have been 
badly injured in evacuations when their 
shoeless lect were burned or cut as they 
fled across cabin floors seared by flames 


or pocked with sharp wreckage. The 
time has come to re-examine the shoe 
problem. And the dme alo may 

* come for the airline industry to 


re-examine its entire philosophy on cabin 
it relates directly to 


assengers, 
technological standpoint, to- 
E . There are 
13,500 airline flights every day. Jetliners 
cross the Atlantic at the average rate of 
one every 15 minutes. In 1976 and 1977, 
U. S. airlines flew more than five billion 
miles and had a fatality rate of .002 [ог 
every 1,000,000 miles flown. And [or every 
fatal accident, the airlines have averaged 
more than 2,000,000 flights. Based on 
aviation’s acci 
years, a passenger could fly more than 
(00,000,000 miles before an accident. Put 
ather way, the percentage of safe 
hts is 99.99998. AJI of that is done by 
а machine that may have as many as 
4,500,000 parts, 100 miles of wiring and 
X00 pieces of tubing. The same acro- 
autical geniuses have created the super- 
sonic transport and are now thinking in 
terms of commercial space travel. 

But when it comes to talking about 
safety to passengers, the industry gets 


nt rate over the past five 


nervous. It clings to the philosophy that 
airplane maintenance is the only thing 
t counts. Jt is sort of “if we can 


p them flying, we don't lı 
about ev: sengers” type of 
titude. That is often reflected in the role 
given the flight attendant. Generally, you 
will find the flight attendants under the 
light services department, not under 
ine flight operations, even though 
these men and women are charged with 
the safety of a cabinload of passengers. 
But airline marketing men usually wke a 
dim view of any plan that m 
gers more conversant with safety 
ly, it is not because they are antisafety, 
hey are not, but ussion of 
such as risk exposure, decompression or 
evacuation slides simply does not fit into 
the accepted marketing concept. 

Maybe it should, In fact, maybe the 
rlines should start selling safety to pas- 
sengers with the same priority they give 
to other flight operations. Some already 
ave taken the first steps in that direction 
by continuously searching for ways to 
improve the preflight briefings. I think a 


ve to worry 


variety of items are needed, a saturation 
approach. For example, what could qual- 
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PLAYBOY 


378 


“T agree with you, Mrs. Carling—Christmas 
isn’t only for the young.” 


period spent at the plane gate waiting 
for your flight to be called? There is an 
opportunity for an airline to install a 
simple film that would introduce the 
passengers to items such as the escape 
slide, the life jacket and the knowl 
edge needed to open an exit door. I 
know the critics immediately cry that 
the passenger is frightened by a display 
hinting that his trip might end in disas 
ter. I say, "Nuts" Your average traveler 


"I have clinched and closed with the naked! К 
North, 1 have learned to defy and 

Shoulder to shoulder we have fought it s 

ОПЕ yet. the wild! трип inthe ела mA 


is just too sophisticated to be thrown 
into a funk because someone presents 
him with information that could, should 
the need arise, save his life. How many 
persons object to the antihijack meas 
ures? But for those who might reject 
the idea of a film at the boarding I 
submit that one could be shown during 
the preflight cabin briefing, an idea a 
ready undergoing some testing. I also 
realize that repetition of the same film 
would quickly turn off passengers, But 
to say that the films 


there is not 


couldn't be varied 

Some airlines provide their passengers 
with a selection of channels for their en- 
tertainment, You can get classical music, 
pop/rock and comic monologs, if you 
don't care to listen to the movie sound. 
Why not add a channel to carry а well 
produced cabin-evacuation lecture? Or 
why would it be impractical lor flight at- 
tendants to talk to individual rows of 
passengers periodically about evacuation 
procedures? 1 am talking about long 
Ilights, when both the passengers and the 
fight auendants have time to spare, The 
idea would be to encourage questions 
from passengers that were not answered 
in the preflight briefing, Along the same 
line, it could pay dividends for flight 
attendants on flights of, say, over five 
hours to repeat on the landing approach 
some of the more salient facts: the loca- 
tions of exits or a reminder to reread 
seatback cards, as well as the usual 
instructions on trajs, seat backs and safe- 
ty belts, Another item to consider is 
screening passengers who sit next to 
wing exits. That 
many evacuations and mot a spot for 
either the elderly or the infirm. Nor 
would it do harm to have flight attend- 
ants 
op 


а key position in 


mple briefing on how to 
ng exit. Î have sat next to 
passengers who have revealed that they 


n the м 


didn't know they were seated next to one. 

Is that. the lt of the airlines? No, 
the airlines did everything they were 
quired to do. "The win; 
place. In was clearly labeled. And the 
flight attendants had pointed it out in 
the рге ЭЕ briefing. But. to me. that 
all-too-numerous unaware, or unreached, 
passenger represents a safety failure, In 
the airline industry, failure has never 
been tolerated in, the cockpit; why 
should it be in the cabin? 


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PLAYBOY 


380 


TEXAS COWGIRIS 


(continued [rom page 162) 
with silver cuffs, silver belt and silver 
boots. Sensational. 

By August of this year, the Cowgirls 
already had a calendar full of bookings. 
They helped open some record stores. 
They were at an Apparel Mart T-shirt 
party. They opened two department 
stores. They played a charity softball 
game against a group of doctors. They 
even helped celebrate a millionaire's 
birthday party at an exclusive Dallas 
country club. (Liquor was served.) 

The girls cl; the Dallas Cowboys 
have made enough money off their fa- 
mous cheerleaders’ poster "to pay for 
Tony Dorsett’s entire multimillion-dollar 
contract"—but shared very little of it 
with them. “They made us buy our own 


boots," Tina adds, “and pay for the spe- 
cial nail polish they wanted us to use. 


They didn't even pay for our trip to 
the Super Bowl. A local radio station and 
Dr Pepper did it. 
In any event, she says, posters pay— 
so she and her 24 Cowgirls have pro- 
duced a sexy poster of their own. 
“Suzanne Mitchell has stated publicly 
that she didn't want the girls to use the 
Cowboys as a ‘steppingstone to star- 
dom," says Tina. "Well, we want to 
become somebody. And without the or- 
ganization holding us back, we think we 
can. After all, we're the pros, they're the 
rookies. And, anyway, who can buy all 
the bs. the dub hands out? Get this: 
last year, Suzanne Mitchell actually 
wanted Debbie Kepley to wear pig. 
tails. Thats what she wanted: pigtails 
and the virgin look. Well, Debbie cut 
off her hair so she wouldn't have to 
wear pigtails and so she could be her- 
self, That's why she quit and joined us.” 


"That's what's so great about open admissions— 
in the old days, a kid with my I.Q. couldn't even get 
into college, let alone medical school.” 


MADD FATE RAGTIONS)] 
(continued from page 160) 
me a copy of the club's rules for the 
Honey Bear. For the most part, they 
were very general “The HONEY BEARS 
will conduct themselves in a proper man- 
ner when representing the Chicago Bears 
Football Club. Honey ears are not al- 
lowed to drink alcoholic beverages or 
smoke while in costume. There will be 
no fraternization between the HONEY 
BEARS and the club's players, coaches or 
front-ofhce management." 1 asked Haracz 
about the no-frate тше. He 
smiled. “That just means when th 
in costume or on the ficld,” he said, add- 
ing that he knew some of the girls dated 
some of the players. One, Playboy Club 
Bunny Claudia Mendron, is the girl- 
friend of quarterback Bob Avellini.) 

Some clubs were not as hip as the 
Broncos or the Bears. Some simply 
wouldn't talk with rrAvsov's Photo De- 
partment at all. The Dallas Cowboys 
Professional Football Club was one of 
them—thereby giving a golden opening 
to those ex—Cowboys Cheerleaders who 
have organized themselves into Texas 
rl, Inc, a circumstance that en- 
увоу readers to enjoy views in 
this issue of the Cowgirls, Inc., they never 
would have had when the girls worked 
for Schramm, Houston Oilers’ owner 
Adams queried Photo Editor Jeff Cal 
closely over the phone about his inten- 
tions—and then, no doubt unaware that 
the First Amendment still applies, even 
in Texas, demanded to know whether 
PLAYBOY had ion from the 

VF.L/'s commi: Pete Rozelle, to 
do the story, The Cincinnati Ben-Gals’ 
choreographer, Shirley Bird, had been 
excited about the prospects of rLavnoy's 
coming to town, but she canceled her 

nvitation to the photogs when owner 
Paul Brown recoiled at the very idea. 
Without any explanation, Buffalo also 
reneged on its invi "s famed 
choreographer, June Taylor, never ri 
turned Editor Cohen's phone calls (i 
diced, the club ever gave her his mes- 
sages). 

Other N.F.L. clubs, on the other hand, 
couldn't do enough to cooperate, At- 
nta was one of those clubs, But when. 
PLAYBOY'S peripatetic Photographer Da- 
vid Chan went to a rehearsal of the 
Falcon chee ders and matter-ol-factly 
told a brace of young women he was 
giving them an opportunity to pose 
clothed, semiclothed or nude, the Fal- 
cons’ PR man, Cha ton, came un- 
glued, phoned me in California and 
iled, "Bob, you gota do somethin’ 
about this. If I det "em shoot the girls 
nude, they'll run me out of town on a 
rail.” The people in Boston, Baltimore, 
Philadelphia, San Diego and Seattle ex- 
led PLayuoy every kind of courtesy. 
None of them asked rLavsoy what kinds 


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PLAYBOY 


382 general раги 


of pictures we intended taking of their 
girls. Editor Cohen finally chose to shoot 
four each of the Patriots’ and the Colts" 
finest, and one from each group volun- 
tecred for some nude poses. In San 
Diego, photographer Arny Freytag had 
no trouble getting. Elizabeth. Caleca to 
pose in the nude: She's Miss Nude Cali- 
fornia and a runner-up for Miss Nude 
U.S.A. Up in the state of. Washington, 
Kim daughter of a man who 
owns a sizable chunk of Seattle, didn't 
pose nude, but her costume was so di- 
ous she might as well hav 
the other hand, Cohen didn't 
cven send a photographer to St. Louis, 
whose Cardinals pulled a prote 
ntle over their Big Red Line—all 
coeds from the University of Missouri 
who are actually sponsored by radio si 
tion KMOX. In New Orleans, Dee Kelly 
Boyd, the manager of the Angels, vetocd 
owner Mecom's early, eager approval of 
a PLAYBOY shooting in the Bayou, but 
not before photographer Arny Freytag 
had shot Angel Bunny Hover—who was 
so crestfallen to think she might not ap- 
pear in the magazine that she phoned 
Cohen and pleaded with him not to 
scrap her. (He didt.) 

We also got a "no dcal" at first from 
Los Angeles. The Rosenblooms, Carroll 
and Steve, had already taken some heat 
from the National Organization for 
Women and feared that cooperation 
with PLaysoy would be interpreted as 
further evidence that the club was 
“exploiting” young women. After some 
reasoned discussions, however, the Rosen- 
blooms went halfway with PLAYBOY. 
When they got rrAvnov's agreement that 
the manager of the Embraceable Ewes, 
David Mirisch, would have approval 
over shots to appcar in the magazine, 
they told rraynoy to come ahead, (Just 
before this article went to press, Mirisch 
was given his walking papers by the 
Rams. Why? "There were at least three 
versions of the story: One, that the 
braceable Ewes themselves were unhappy. 
with the way he ran things, specific: 
ly, the way he parceled out potentially 
lucrative promotional assignments; two, 
that the costumes and game routines he 
had approved had been roundly criti- 
cized; and, three, that the Rams own 
PR department didn’t care to have its 
limelight stolen by а Hollywood press 
agent. No one scems to think the inci- 
dent had anything to do with Mirisch's 
cooperation with m.avnoy.) 

Whatever happened in LA, it was 
the ad Raiders who deserved a 
special prize for displaying am infini 
capacity for taking pains to "protect" 
their girls (though it was one of the 
Raiderettes and Editor Cohen, as it 
turned out, who felt most of the pain). 
‘The principal actor in this drama was 
AI LoCasale, a cheerful chap who holds 
the title executive assistant to managing 
AI Davis. LoCasale is in 


charge of the Raiderettes, recruits the 
bestlooking girls he can find in the Bay 
Area and takes delight in the fact that 
his troupe has not only quality but quan- 
tity as well He boasts of a "front 
line" that averages 5/8" and quotes a 
local reporter who called it “awesome. 
He also worries about the possibility that 
someday the girls might become a coun- 
terproductive element in the organiza 
tion. "What would happen,” he wonders, 
“if some of our girls started getting cn- 
dorement contracts—and our players 
didn't” 

At first, LoCasale was the cpitome of 
cooperation. He took me to lunch and 
loaded me with clips and souvenirs, in 
cluding an eight-by-ten black-and-white 
glossy of a beauteous 23-year-old Raid 
сгеце, Suzanne Massett, along with her 
phone number. “Oh, I know all about 
you, Bob Kaiser,” said Suzanne, when 1 
phoned her. “Mr. LoCasale told me to 
expect your call." But after I had inter- 
viewed her on the phone and after she 
had met Cohen at the San Francisco In- 
ternational Airport, LoCasale changed 
his tune. 

We're willing to participate in this," 
he said, “but only if we have some con- 
trol. This won't help the girls if we 
tarnish the image. And it could hurt our 
future recruiting." So, before Suzanne 
could be photographed, LoCasale in- 
sisted on a guarantee that the Raiders 
would have picture approval. 

Working against a deadline, Cohen 
wrote the letter of guarantee and had 
Photographer Nicholas DeSciose prepare 
his studio in Denver and line up a 

аке-ир artist for a Friday shooting. 
Suzanne would fly 10 Colorado (at 
PLAYBOY expense) and return to С 
fornia that evening, but LoCasale told 
her not to fly until she heard his words 
"Goodbye. Good lud 

Ihe letter, sent by airmail, hadn't 
arrived in Oakland by Thursday. Cohen, 
back in Chicago by then, repeated its 
via Western Union, then was 
nayed to learn that his telegram, in 
the opinion of LoCasale, didn't repre- 
sent “a good enough guarantes 

“Just exactly what" Cohen asked 
LoCasale, "do you want?" By then, it 
was already 10:30 р.м. Thursday night in 
Chicago, 8:30 р.м. Oakland time. 

1 any secretary 
tice for the proper wording," said Lo- 
Casale. “Then send me a telegram at 
home.” Cohen did so. 

According to Western Union's rec 
ords, the telegram was delivered to Lo- 
Casale at 11:51 P. Eastern standard 
time. But he didn't phone Suzanne— 
nd she didn't fly to Denver the next 
moming. On Sunday, she ran into Lo- 
Casale at a. press conference. "How did 
it go in Denver?" he asked her. 

She blanched. "Mr. LoCasale," 
said, “I didn’t go to Denver." 

"How come?” he said. 


she 


“Because I never got word from you.” 

“Oh,” he said, “You can go.” 

A week later, Suzanne jetted to Colo- 
rado. According to DeSciose, she was 
somewhat tense during the shooting. 

LoCasale dictated the rest of the 
scenario. “Tell vou what" he told 
Cohen over the phone. "We're coming 
to Chicago to play the Bears оп Satur- 
day. Suppose we meet at the Continen- 
tal Plaza and I can look at the photos." 


Done. Cohen met LoCa n the 
hotel lobby. “It was like dealing with 
Moscow," said Cohen. “ lc said 
five words: ‘Jeff Cohen? Come with 
me." Silence in the elevator, Silence in 
the room. Then LoCasale donned 


helmet with a magnifying glass susp: 
ed from its bill, so he could view the 
transparencies with both hands free, and 
looked at Cohen expectantly. 

Cohen handed over DeSciose's pic- 
tures, 40 in all. LoCasale granted hi 
way through. them, eliminated. the sex- 
t 25—most. notably, a set of Suzanne 
a damp yellow blouse—and initialed 
15 comparatively dull ones, Then he 
softened enough to report that his new 
bride once been a Playboy Bunny 
in San Francisco and walked out, talk- 
ig to himself. 

Why should the Raiders get the sex- 
iest girls they сап find, then make it 
tough as they can for a magazine to run 
wes of them? Maybe thi 


sexy pic an- 
swer lies in a consideration of the cco- 
nomic realities. As LoCasale put it to 
me: "We're already sold out for the 
season, We don't need rravuov." 

By that time, Cohen had on his desk 
the combined efforts of five rLaynoy 
photographers who had be eling 
for weeks, great color shots of 50 young 
NEL. aders—and the scrump- 
tious, bumptious ex-Dallas Cowboys 
eerleaders as well. He didn't need the 
remaining relatively uninteresting pic- 
tures ol Suzanne. 

Who was the principal loser in all of 
this? Answer: Suzanne Massett, who wa 
hoping that Pr 
help her budding Holl 


vnov exposure would 
career. 


wood 


ke the daily 
just getting known in town whi 
upped and returned to her folks’ home 
in Northern California—so she could 
spend yet another season, her fourth, 
with the Raiders, 

One of the rumors around the N.F.L. 
is that the city of Los Angeles is trying 
to entice the Raiders to leave Oakland 
and head south when the Rams decamp 
for Orange County in 1980, That would 
mean that the Raiderettes, Suzanne in- 
cluded, would be in the show-business 
spotlight. But 1980 is a long way away. 
and that's a chancy way of trying to go 
Hollywood. 

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PLAYBOY 


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CALL TECH 


here's nothing new about sophisticated telephones 
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you ever got through the day without their aid. 


One's an answering machine that records up to 20 calls and 


Above: The Code-A- 
Phone MessageCenter is 
easy to operate; a beeper 
lets you hear messages 
from a remote phone, by 
Ford Industries, $299.95. 


Left: The Travel Phone is 
linked to a computer for 
billing purposes; just dial 
and call (or take calls 
from) most phones in the 
U.S,, by Travel Electronics 
International, $2695. 


Right: GTE Automatic 
Electric’s Flip-Phone is a 
superlightweight model 
that flips open and acti- 
vates (as shown) when 
you pick it up, $49.95. 


then plays them back to you over the phone by remote con- 
trol, if you choose; another is a lightweight phone; but the 
real eye-popper is the portable Travel Phone that enables 
you to place or receive calls to or from any U.S. city. And 
we used to get excited when Dick Tracy talked to his wrist. 


RICHARD IZUI 


RICHARD IZUI 


e 
8 
S 


GRAPEVINE 


DL: jT Rockette Around the Clock 


Little Deuce Coupe 

ANDY WARHOL got famous painting 
Campbell Soup cans. That was before he 
discovered French food, the movie col- 
ony and Studio 54. Earlier this year, the 
BMW auto people asked him to design 
the paint job for a new racing car. How- 
ever, the car never reached the track 
because of technical problems. Or so 
they said. We don't like to think Andy's 
work gave BMW any second thoughts. 


1 ANN-MARGRET, our favorite actress with her hyphen still intact, here gives us 
Y an exclusive sneak peek al whal we can expect to see on her December 14 
* j Г NEC special, Rockette: A Holiday Tribute to the Radio City Music 
; Hall. The two-hour program will draw attention to the econom- 
ic plight of the venerable New York City entertainment 
institution. Ann-Margret has wanted to be a Rockette 

/ since she was six. Now shell finally get her big break. 


LYNN GOLDSMITH 


JOHN ENGSTEAD 


Different Strokes for 

Different Folks 
Singer-songwriter-punk-about-town PATTI 
SMITH once told a major rock biweekly that 
one of her special means of getting off was to 
masturbate to a picture of herself. So, in the 
interest of good (if not brilliant) journalism, we 
bring Smith (and you) a picture of herself for 
whatever purpose she (and you) might wish to 
put it to. And you thought this job was easy? 


Nose Job 


We're happy to report that rock singer STEPHEN BISHOP's plastic surgery was a complete 
success and here are the results. Will this new “look” affect record sales? Only time will tell. 


LINN GDLOSMITH 


8 
а 
8 
8 
z 
= 


The Boy in the Band 


The newest level of achievement in karate, beyond the brown belt and the black belt, is the glitter belt. Here, star pupil and 
itter-belt pioneer MICK JAGGER demonstrates one of the moves. Training toward a glitter belt is designed to prepare thestudent for 
staying up late, kissing many girls and writing rock lyrics. Not surprisingly, the glitter belt is currently available only in Los Angeles. 


389 


390 


TAKING OFF AND TAKING OFF 


This is the time of year when the 
office daydream takes over. You know, 
the one where the tide playfully licks 
at your toes beneath the benign glow 
of the tropical sun while nude beauties 
flutter leisurely about a volleyball net. 
Tide, sun and volleyball are available 
in abundance this season, but some- 
times the nude beauties tend to be a 
problem. If you're looking for a place 
to take it all off in the sun, here are 


a few agencies that specialize in sans- 
tan-line vacations: 

Elysium Tours, Suite 207, 1701 Clin- 
ton Street, Los Angeles, California 
90026. Phone 213-413-4089. Specialist 
in Mexican destinations, Yucatan, 
France, Jamaica, the Bahamas, Hawaii, 
Tahiti. 

Skinny-Dip Tours, 30 East 42nd 
Street, New York, New York 10017. 
Phone 212-697-1225. Specialist in low- 
cost one-week bookings to Cape Santa 
Maria, the Bahamas; Club Caribbean, 
Jamaica; also Hawaii, Club Med, all 
Caribbean destinations, Port Nature 
(France) and Corsica. 

Hedonism Holidays, 444 Madison 
Avenue, New York, New York 10022 
Phone 212-832-7830. As Lotus Hedon- 
ism Holidays, it packages a resort 
called Couples and the Negril Beach 
Village in Jamaica, Zemi's in Nassau 


SEX NIEWS 


and Port Nature on the French Riviera. 


ARE YOU WOMEN 
GONNA TAKE 
THIS LYING DOWN? 


We guess so. A recent study at 
Eastern Michigan University concludes 
that women consistently think poorly 
of their sisters who prefer sex in 
the woman-on-top position. Моге 
than 100 male and female students 
were asked to view two sets of slides 
showing a couple fucking. (Ah, for the 
life of an undergrad!) Half the group 
saw the woman humping in the domi- 
nant position, while the others saw the 
man on top. The students then com- 
pleted a questionnaire measuring their 
attitudes toward the slides. The re- 
searchers reported in the Journal of 
Consulting and Clinical Psychology 
that the females regarded the "woman 
above" female less positively than they 
did the other. Males rated both posi- 
tions about the same. Females thought 
the woman on top was “dirtier, less 
respectable, less moral, less good and 
less desirable as a wife and mother." 
Yeah, but did she come? 


A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC, PLEASE 

They laughed when he sat down to 
play. Then he opened the lid. Eat your 
heart out, Mozart. If the Italian-style 


harpsichord pictured (above) doesn't 
positively pull your stops, pick up your 
Emenee and go home. The artful lid оп 
this 16th Century copy is the jewel of 
harpsichord maker William Post Ross 
and photographer Jan Corash. The re- 
dining nude is Ross's partner, Annette 
Ellen Smith. It's yours for $9000. Write 


get the right idea with this handmade 

ed-glass hanging fixture. A limited 
$375, from Love-lite Art Glass, 
P. О. Box 113, Milldale, Connecticut 06467. 


to Ross and Smith, Harpsichord Makers, 
Chamberlain Street, Greenville, New 
Hampshire 03048. If your holiday grab 
bag is a little small for harpsichords, 
try the pendants pictured (left). As you 
can see, the top figure is well equipped 
for dashing through the snow. The mal- 
leable gold or silver thighs adjust to 


your needs. Both the double-spread 
spoons and the pudendum are avail- 
able in 14-kt. gold for $150 and in 
sterling silver for $40. Contact Erotique, 
Inc., P.O. Box 9295, JFK Station, Govern- 
ment Center, Boston, Massachusetts 
02114. And may all your Christ- 

mases be white. a 


/"AMCA'SPIRIT 


yo MENU Y 


-got more Шап un 
bucket seats, asleek instru- 
ment panel, sporty looks and d 


a great ride. It's got morê. 


‘Buyer Protection Plan? | 
This car's got Spirit. 


УУ Thenew: 1909; Spr 3 


“from AMC. | 


xe 3 


-than the exclusive AMG. 7m ч 


PLAYBOY 


Thinner Wallets 


Until recently the thinnest w: 
were made from expensive seal skins. 
Then a new material was developed— 
Oxford Nylon. Pin Craft Corporation 
patented а unique line of wallets out of 
this durable woven material. Con- 
sumers’ Research Magazine did an 
extensive study on wallets and con- 
cluded by giving their top recommen- 
dation to Oxford Nylon wallets. Oxford 
Nylon does not have the thickness of 
leather, yet it is more durable, lighter, 
longer wearing, flexible and very thin. 
Thus the Oxford Nylon wallet is more 
comfortable to wear, and your clothes 
look better without a wallet bulge. 


Available in the 3 most popular 
styles, all have window cases for 16 or 
more credit cards. You can try an 
Oxford Nylon wallet with the under- 
standing it can be returned within 31 
days for full refund. The wallets are 
sold regularly (since 1973) through the 
Wall Street Journal. Three year guar- 
antee. Great gifts for friends and 
associates. Give yourself a 10% dis- 
count when ordering 3 or more. Send 
the coupon or equivalent information to: 


Pin Craft Corporation Dept. PB 
16N. Mentor Ave., Pasadena, CA 91106 


Sportster — Smallest 
and thinnest. A card 
case and billfold, for 
hip or shirt pocket. $699 


Classic—Thinnest T3 
hip pocket wallet | 
witha section for 
money and notes 
plus two hidden compartments. 879 


Executive—Coat or 
hip wallet with а 
handy stacking rack 
for credit cardsand a 
32x5 picture win- 
dow. Two hidden compartments. $856 
Put the model letter S, C, or E, and 
quantity after the color(s) you want: 


Black Brown, Tan 
Burgundy DarkGreen — 
Navy Blue . Add $2? for em- 


broidered initials 
orsilver O giftw 
Name (Print) 
Address 


in gold O 
D. Made in U.S.A. 


Zip. 
CheckOM.O.OMasterChargeO Visa O 
Carte BlancheDDinersÜ Expires. 
Card# = ссн ЖЫ 
То speed credit card orders, call toll 
free nationwide (800) 423-4541. In 


382 Calif., AK, HI, toll call (213) 793-2101. 


‘SPECIAL ISSUE $3 


NEXT MONTH: 


MARLON BRANDO, ALONG WITH PLEAS FOR A BETTER DEAL FOR THE 
INDIANS, TALKS ABOUT HIS CAREER, HIS PRESS TREATMENT AND HIS 
ISLAND IN TAHITI IN THE LONGEST IN-DEPTH CONVERSATION HE'S AL- 
LOWED IN TWO DECADES: AN EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


ARTHUR С. CLARKE—A BOLD ENGINEER BUILDS А BRIDGE TO THE 
STARS: AN ADVANCE LOOK AT WHAT SCI-FI MASTER CLARKE SAYS 15 
HIS LAST NOVEL—''THE FOUNTAINS OF PARADISE” 


BILL COSBY TELLS WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO BE LITTLE AND SKINNY AND 
LOOKING FOR MUSCLES IN “WHEN I WAS SIX, HUBERT HAD HAIR" 


TOM ROBBINS, AUTHOR OF EVEN COWGIRLS GET THE BLUES, IS AT 
HIS OFF-THE-WALL BEST IN “THE PURPOSE OF THE MOON” 


DAVID HALBERSTAM, AUTHOR OF THE BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST, VIEWS 
THE TUBE AND FINDS IT WANTING: “SMALL FAILURES OF TELEVISION” 


JOHN UPDIKE WEAVES THE BITTERSWEET TALE OF A COUPLE ABOUT TO 
THROW IN THE TOWEL AND SPLIT UP IN “GESTURING” 


RAY BRADBURY LETS US IN ON SOME SECRETS OF THE NEAR FUTURE 
IN “BEYOND 1984: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF A FOURTH KIND” 


SHEL SILVERSTEIN, CARTOONIST, AUTHOR, COMPOSER, PERFORMER 
AND RACONTEUR EXTRAORDINAIRE, DOES IT AGAIN IN “THE DEVIL 
AND BILLY MARKHAM” 


DAVID STEINBERG PRESENTS A WORDS-AND-PICTURES, TONGUE-IN- 
CHEEK MANUAL OF ADVICE: “GUIDE TO DISCO ETIQUETTE” 


GORE VIDAL IS SPLENDIDLY VIDAL AS HE HOLDS FORTH ON RELIGION, 
FAGS, POLITICS AND THE E.R.A.: “SEX IS POLITICS” 


ROBERT MORLEY TAKES TIME OUT FROM HIS BRITISH AIRWAYS COM- 
MERCIALS TO REVEAL “WHY THE BRITISH LOVE TO DRESS IN DRAG” 


A HOST OF FEATURES TO CELEBRATE OUR 25TH ANNIVERSARY: 
INCLUDING “THE ILLUSTRATED HISTORY OF PLAYBOY"; “THE 
GREAT PLAYBOY PLAYMATE HUNT,” PICTORIAL COVERAGE OF THE 
SEARCH FOR OUR SUPER SILVER-ANNIVERSARY PLAYMATE; “25 BEAUTI- 
FUL YEARS,” A PORTFOLIO OF THE LOVELIEST LADIES FROM THIS MAGA- 
ZINE'S PAST; A SUPERFOLDOUT OF ALL OF PLAYBOY'S COVERS AND ALL OF 
PLAYBOY'S GATEFOLDS; “PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE REVIEW”; “INTER- 
LUDE WITH THE UNDEAD,” A DECIDEDLY DIFFERENT PICTORIAL IN AN 
EROTIC VEIN, WITH TEXT BY ANNE (INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) RICE; 
AND MUCH MORE, FOR THE MOST EXCITING ANNIVERSARY ISSUE EVER! 


EXCLUSIVE PLAYBOY INTERVIEWS 
WITH NEIL SIMON, RICHARD PRYOR, HAMILTON JORDAN, STEVEN 
SPIELBERG, MIKHAIL BARYSHNIKOV AND STEVE MARTI 
PARTS OF JOSEPH HELLER'S NEW NOVEL, “GOOD AS GOLD”, 
THE BIRDS COME HOME TO ROOST,” AN IRONIC HORROR STORY, BY 
HARLAN ELLISON; “SEX IN AMERICA: CHICAGO," PART II OF OUR 
SURVEY OF THE SEXUAL TEMPERATURE OF THE CITIES, BY WALTER LOWE; 
“STRIKE TEAMS," IN WHICH THE MEN WHO TAKE ON THE HIJACKERS 
ARE UNVEILED BY OUR MAN IN TERRORISM, DAVID B. TINNIN; “THE 
LEASER OF TWO EVILS," AN OUTRAGEOUS TALE ABOUT A MAN WITH 
ASPLIT-PERSONALITY PROBLEM, BY PHILIP JOSE FARMER; “THE YEAR 
IN SEX," AN IRREVERENT LOOK AT LIFE AND LUST IN 1978; AND PIC- 
TORIAL VISITS WITH “THE GIRLS OF LAS VEGAS,” “THE GIRLS OF 
CANADA” AND “FOREIGN FEMMES FATALES.” 


Under his St. Laurent jacket, 
his Cardin tie, his Dior shirt, 
Vitas Gerulaitis wears Brut. 


“I wear clothes made by famous designers Maybe that's why Brut has been on top since 
because they really know fashion. But zuys wore Bermuda shorts and knee socks. 
underneath it all, | wear Brut by Fabergé. You know, fashions come and go. But Brut — 
Because they really know fragrance. well, some things never go out of style? 


E 
Brut by Fabergé. The fragrance designer. MI 


Seagram's VO. 
Bottled in Canada. sedie throughout the world. 


Enjoy our quality in moderation. 
Canadian. whisky, A blend, 6 years old, 86.8 proof. Seagram Distillers Co., N. Y.C. Gift-wrapped at no extra charge.