Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats

BO:

ENTERTAINMENT FOR МЕМ 7 me 1979 + $2.00

EXCLUSIVE!

THE SECRET
LIFE OF

FOREIGN SEX STARS - DAN RATHER - WORKING THE VICE
SQUAD - SPRING FASHIONS -A SURPRISE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

Innovation is nothing new to Pioneer.

We were the first to introduce the
high power receiver. Sooner or later
everyone followed.

We were the first to create the front
loading cassette deck. And the first with
a quartz lock loop turntable that was as
easy on the budget as it was on the ear.
Again, our competition had no
alternative but to follow.

So now that Pioneer introduces the
CT-F9CO, we expect that soon there'll
be а few rushed-through imitations that
have our look. But not our value.

This is no small coincidence. And it's
nothing we're unaccustomed to. It’s a
simple case of follow the leader.

AMETERING SYSTEM AS FAST
AS THE SPEED OF SOUND.

Conventional cassette decks are all
plagued with the same problem. Either
they have slow то react VU meters that
give you average readings or slightly
more advanced LED's that give you
limited resolution.

Pioneer offers a better resolution. A
Fluroscan metering system that's so fast
and so precise, it provides a more
accurate picture of what you're listening to.

It covers the range ot —20 dB ro +7
dB in 20 easy-to-read calibrations. And
while other meters may work within
that same range, in terms of precision
they're not even in the same
neighborhood

The CT-F900 has a Peak Button that
lets you register all the peaks in the
incoming signal. And lets you register
anunheard of level cf harmonic
distortion. Less than 1.595

A Peak Hold Button that retains the
highest peak level in each channel. So
you can record at the highest level
possible without fear of overload

And en Average Button that makes
the Fluroscan meter respond like an
ordinary level meter.

A DIGITAL BRAIN WITH
AN INCREDIBLE MEMORY

All cassette decks have tape
counters. Even the most respectable
ones have mechanical counters you
can't really count on.

Pioneer's designed the most precise
electronic way of keeping track of your
tracks.

As the take up reel rotates, pulses
are fed toa microprocessor which
provides a three digit readout on ап
electronic tape counter.

The terminology may be difficult to
understand, but the benefit of all this is
simple. Precision. Dependability. And
convenience.

Many of these "better" cassette
decks also claim they have advanced
memories. But there are functions that
even the best of them haven't been
programmed to remember.

The CT-F9CO has the first electronic
memory of its kind that pertorms four
ditterent functions.

Memory Stop automatically stops
the tape wherever you select. Memory

АГЕ I

АТАА

ш,
LU HV,

j Й

ГЈ)

THE СТЕ9ОО.ТНЕ FIRST 2-HEADI
FLUROSCAN METERING, DOUBL

Play rewinds the tape to this spot and
then automatically goes into the play
mode. Counter Repeat rewinds the
cassette when the end of the tape is
reached. Then begins replaying the tape
wherever you want it to begin. End
Repeat automatically rewinds the tape.
And then replays it from the beginning
for endless listening

WERE HARD HEADED,
BUT SENSITIVE.

Every audiophile will agree that to
achieve professional quality recording,
three heads are better than two

And while you can expect three
heads from most reputable cassette

decks, you can also expect that they're
either made of ferrite or permalloy.

The CT-F9CO has recording and
playback heads made of a newly
developed Sendust Alloy. This
remarkable bit of technology gives you
higher frequency response (20-19,000
Hz.) and lower distortion than ferrite.
And better wear-resistance than
permalloy.

BIASING BY THE MOST
SOPHISTICATED AUDIO EQUIP-

MENT KNOWN TO MAN. HIS EARS

While many of today's “equipped”
cassette decks let you monitor during
recording, what they don't do is let you

:D. DUAL CAPSTAN CASSETTE DECK THAT OFFERS
E-DOLBY, A DIGITAL BRAIN AND BIASING BY EAR.

control what you monitor.

The CT-F900 allows you to bias by
ear. Which means you have almost as
much control over your tape deck as
you would over any other musical
instrument

By simply switching between the
Source and Tape monitors and
adjusting your bias control, you can
make sure that what comes out of your
cassette deck is as clean and crisp as
what went into it

FEATURES OTHERS
DON'T EVEN OFFER.

These are just a tew of the features
that will soon change the face of all

cassette decks. The CT-F900 also offers
features like a double Dolby* noise
reduction system that eliminates noise
in both record monitoring and
playback. And reduces rape hiss to -64
dB. Solenoid push button controls that
give you direct function switching so
you can go directly from one mode to
another without damaging the tape. А
two motor, dual capstan drive system
that gives you stable head contact.
constant tape movement, and an
inaudible 0.04% wow and flutter. And
circuitry that lets you hook the CT-F20O
to an external timer so you can make
recordings even when you're not there.
Obviously, all that went into the

а و‎

Ss NINE

peac PEAS avermce

TAPE оОоцшума — шешт

= БӘ Б i

ero m oF
eer m ‘ON

= чс

eee

ORs ccce eee ees |

CT-F900 sounds impressive. Bur it's not
hall as impressive as what comes
outof it

Givenall this, it's not surprising that
Sooner or later all cassette decks will be
built along the lines of the CT-F900.

But even then there will be that fine
line that has always separated Pioneer
from the competition.

Value

YPIONEER’

We bring it back alive.

Wood cabinet optional

L—mc—a

TAPE COUNTER MEMORY OOLBY
/ REPEAT NR

COUNTER: MEMORY REPEAT
Ce, <a
RESET STOP PLAY COUNTER ENO Orr

eS‏ ڪڪ SSS‏ پڪ

TIMER START METER
<a)

i a mer wl
PEAK
PEAK Hoto AVERAGE

SSS ڪج‎

"Everything I do is by choice.
Whether its the work I do or the whiskey I drink”

| }
i |

The Preferred
taste in whiskey is
still 90 proof.

Groin Neutral Spirits. М топа Distilling Co. Nei VE Park, М.

| . PLAYBILL

WHEN MOST OF Us think of Marilyn Monroe, the first images are
of the public Marilyn, the movie queen and sex goddess. Then
the less romantic images come to challenge our idolatry and,
perhaps, to make us uncomfortable. So, devout MMophiles,
beware: The Private Life of Marilyn Monroe, an excerpt from
Lena Pepitone and William Stadiem’s book Marilyn Monroe Con-
fidential (published this month by Simon & Schuster), is an-
other heavy entry in the ledger of unromantic Monroe images.
Pepitone was M s personal maid and seamstress for five
years and she saw a Marilyn that even Marilyn's husbands
never saw, Pepitone kept her secrets for 16 ye:

Another well-kept secret provides the jumping-off point for
month's Playboy Interview with Wendy/Walter Carlos. As-
ant Editor Tom Passavant was speaking with Village Voice
columnist Arthur Bell (author of Kings Don’t Mean a Thing,
excerpted in the October 1978 Playboy) in our New York
office last winter and Bell confided one of the best-kept secrets
the music world: Walter Carlos, a pioncer of electronic
synthesizer music (Switched-On Bach), had had a sex-change
operation in 1972 and was only now thinking of going public
We asked Bell to interview Carlos, and the result is one of
the most dramatic personal revelations we've published. And
before we leave the topic of secrets, we have yet another con-
fession in this marvelous May issue. It’s Arthur T. Hedley's Z Was
a Military-Industrial Complex, illustrated by Randall Enos.
We'll give you a clue: The guys at the Pentagon will be em-
barrassed when they read it.

‘The baseball season is here in and, as the final roster
cuts appr layers will be wondering how
they're going to spend the rest of the summer. In Past Their
Prime, Roger Kahn, who's at the top of his sportswriting form
examines why some athletes hang on with age and some don't.
And speaking of sports, some consider eating a sport, If it is,
then the champion must be French restaurant critic Jean Didier.
In The Loneliness of the Long-Distance Eater, Rudolph Chelmin-
ski describes one grueling week in the lile of a man compelled
by his job to cat an endless array of haute cuisine, It's enough FROG
хо turn you on to cottage cheese.

In stark contrast to the elegant lifestyle Chelminski shared
with Didier, Jules. Siegel spent several days hanging out with
West Coast vice cops to write Working the Street, arrestingly
illustrated by Milou Hermus. While Siegel watched street life,
D. Keith Meno was watching the sex-fantasy lives of 19 people
unfold in an extraordinary movie. His wry observations serve
as the text for our pictorial Acting Out.

And it’s a good month for pictorials in general.
Foreign Sex Stars, with text by Bruce Williamson; Pholography
by: Ken Marcus, a stunning collection of the PLAYnov photog:
арһег most beautiful shots; and, of course, our Playmate CIOFFART
of the Month, Michele Drake. JE Marcus’ photographs inspire
you to try a little amateur photography, investigate the new
computerized 35mm cameras shown in Smart New Hot-Shols
and explained by Den Sutherland.

То round out the issue, we have a special preview of the
new look in warm-weather wear in Playboy's Spring and Sum-
mer Fashion Forecast, assembled by Fashion Director David
Plott and featuring the inimitable, precocious Brooke Shields;
and two great short stories, While Lies, by Paul Theroux, is a
lesson on the dangers of unchivalrous sex; and Lady Ghastity’s
Last Stand, by Philip Cioffari, is а spicy lesson on the dangers of
blind faith. Lady Chastity is part of a collection of stories їп
progress Cioffari hopes to publish this year.

And last, but certainly not least, there's a rather spunky
20 Questions interview with Dan Rather by Nancy Collins t
includes his idea of what's sexy. That alone is worth, well,
something. Haye a merry May!

There's

PLAYBOY.

vol. 26,no. 5—may, 1979 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
PLAYBILL 3
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY ............ Aa SSS SOR асва ЖЕ лори 11
DEAR PLAYBOY 19
PLAY BOYFAETERSHOURS 17 ЕТЕТ ые eC Ce RET ee КАО 25
MOVIES .. 30
White Lies 44
48
49
53
61
Marcus’ Maidens А PLAYBOY INTERVIEW:
Г 3 WENDY /WALTER CARLOS—candid conversation . . 75

Composer-performer Carlos—a pioneer of synthesizer music (Switched: On
Bach)—underwent sex-change operations seven years ago that he kept secret
until now. Having seen both sides, Wendy Carlos frankly discusses her unique
case of transsexualism.

IWHITEIIES fiction ep .PAUL THEROUX 110
When playing with African women, a man should be chivalrous—lest one of
1hem curses him with a strange affliction too horrible to mention.

DRY MANHATTAN—accessories ...... M mn mer ANM. 115
Who says rainy days are gloomy? gentleman who carries his
good cheer over his head,

THE PRIVATE LIFE OF MARILYN.

MONROE—memoir ..... . -LENA PEPITONE спа WILLIAM STADIEM 118
In public, she was a goddess, but through the eyes of her personal maid and
seamstress, she was a phantasmagoria of lamb chops on greasy sheets,
spaghetti-wrapped breasts, dyed hair, irrationality and tears.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: KEN MARCUS—pictorial . INS о ho эЛ 125
Photographer Ken Marcus, a five-year rtavsoY veteran, selects his favorite
portraits from an eye-popping array of beautiful women.

PAST THEIR PRIME—sports -ROGER KAHN 133
Top-grade beef when they leave college, pro athletes who survive the cuts co
‘out fo be fed to the fans. But the fans always want new meat, and past the
age of 35, only the truly tough survive.

WORKING THE STREET—article .................... JULES SIEGEL 134
TNN Seen from inside a vice cop's car, the world seems to be made up of hookers,
Hol-Shots P. 136 pimps and Johns.

GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING. зиз NORTH MICHIGAN AVE.. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60811. RETURN POSTAGE MUST ACCOMPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AND PHOTOGRAPHS
ESERVED. PLAYBOY AND RABBIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS CF PLAYBOY. REGISTERED U.S. PATENT OFFICE. MARCA REGISTRADA. MARQUE DEPOSKE. M
AND PLACES |S PURELY COINCIDENTAL, CREOITS: COVER: MODEL CHERYLE LARSEN, DESIGMED AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY TON STAEDLER, OTHER PHOTOGRA JONN PARDAZII.
P. 290: А. ACE BURGESS /ACE'S ANGELS. P. 290 (2), 261 (1); ALAN CLIFTON, Р. 3: PHILLIP DIXON, P. 138, 140, 14Z, 143. 144, 166, PIERRE EGGERMONT, P. 163. 164: RICHARD FEGLET,
P. 170 (з), 071 (2); BILL FRANTZ, P. - са). 12 свз. 200: КЕН FRANTZ. P. M. 240. 241: RENNO FRIEDMAN, P. 3. MICHAEL GROSS, P 3, ANTONIO CUERAEIRO, P. ves (2); RICHARD

COVER STORY
Inspired by The Private Life of Marilyn Monroe in this issue, Executive Art Director Tom
Staebler used Chicago model Cheryle Larsen to re-create the blonde bombshell. He gove
her a Monroe hair style, beauty mark and glossy red lips, which he asked her to port
invitingly. You obviously accepted the invitation.

SMART NEW HOT-SHOTS—modern living .....- DON SUTHERLAND 136
‘A wondrous new crop of computerized 35mm comeros that do just about every-
thing but load themselves.

CALIFORNIA GIRL—playboy’s playmate of the month ............- 138
Picture the classic West Coast woman, then open our centerfold. Michele Drake
is a perfect example of why so mony people pretend to like cvocados.

PLAYBOY’S PARTY JOKES—humor ...... n8 150
THE LONELINESS OF THE lady Chastity
LONG-DISTANCE EATER—aorticle ........... RUDOLPH CHELMINSKI 152

Eating several hundred dollars’ worth of the best food in the world every day
requires nerves of steel and intestinal fortitude.

PLAYBOY'S SPRING AND

SUMMER FASHION FORECAST—attire ........:.. ....DAVID PLATT 155
Pretty Baby Brooke Shields is our tour guide as we take an advance look ct
the latest in warm-weather fashions.

1WAS A MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL

COMPIEX ена PO MEE M ARTHUR T. HADLEY 161 SACS
It's not easy to build tanks in a small room in a New York walk-up, but when
your Government calls, you do your best.

FOREIGN SEX STARS—pictorial essay ......... BRUCE WILLIAMSON 163
Don't worry if you don't speak any foreign languages. Our subtitles are in
English and the language of beauty is universal.

YOGURT—food .............. one ...EMANUEL GREENBERG 173
You shouldn't hold the fact that it's good for you against it.

LADY CHASTITY'S LAST STAND—fiction ........... PHILIP CIOFFARI 174
How can a mon preach the Gospel of hell-fire ofter he’s seen the Virgin Mary
acting like Gypsy Rose Lee?

Aging Jocks

A TRUE ACCOUNT OF A

SWEARING DOCTOR'S MARRIAGE—ribald classic . .... TOM BROWN 179

20 QUESTIONS: DAN RATHER 182
The co-star of 60 Minutes tells, among other id of women he
thinks cre sexy and why.

ACTING ОСТ D. KEITH MANO 186

Nineteen people were given the opportunity to turn their sex fantasies into
real movies. The results may surprise you.

PLAYBOY FUNNIES—humor ................ ТРО . 191
PLAYBOYS РІРЕПМЕ ЕТУУ омат Tee: 199
Man & woman, buying a used sports car, travel agents, imported brews.
PLAYBOY POTPOURRI ....... . 240
PUAYBOYSONITHEISCENECOE ЕТЕУ gE 285 “г
Watch bands, hi-fi environment, weather reporters. Marathon Meals Р. 152
HOWARD | CAMERA 5, P. 3; RICHARD KLEIN, P. тт, 12, 172 (Z); LARRY L. LOGAN, P. 16 (4); GARRICK MADISON, P. 16, 199; KEN MARCUS, т. 162; FRANCO MAROCCO, P. 167; KERRY NORMS,

, таз; CHUCK PI

М, Р, 281; ANGELO SAMPERI, P. 167; LOREY
StDASTION. P. 186 (2), 187 (2); VERNON L SI
вов COLOSTRUM. INSERTS: CAMEL CARD, BETW

3 (3: BILL SUMITS, >. 3; JONN A. SWEDE, P. 2: SYGMA, P, 160; ALBERTA TIBURZZI, P- 167, 168; KENT VAN METER, Р. 125; YHOCEMIO.
16:17, PLAYBOY CLUUS INTERNATIONAL CARD, BETWEEN P. 262-263. ?

PLAYBOY (ISSN 0932-1478), MAY, 1979, VOL. 26, NO. S. PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PLAYBOY IN NATIONAL AND REGIONAL EDITIONS, PLAYBOY BLDG., 919 н. MICHIGAN AVE., CHGO., ILL. 60611. 2ND-
CEASE POFTAEE PAID AY CHCO., ILL., ө AT ADDL. MAILING OFFICES. SUS.: IM THE U.E., PIA FOR тз ISSUES. POSTMASTER SEND FORM 9878 TO PLAYBOY, P.O- BOK 2420, BOULDER, COLO. no302

PLAYBOY

But did you ever know a
who didn't like Mateus? |

28mm wide angle

Get more in the picture with a Vivitar wide angle lens.

The normal lens on your 35mm SLR camera those sharp. crisp pictures that have made
can only take in so much of the scene. But the name Vivitar famous. See the affordable
change to a Vivitar 28mm wide angle and Vivitar wide angle lenses at your dealer

you see a great deal more. Vivitar s
Vi е
Ivitar

28mm lensis light, compact and
wide angle lenses for most

a fast f2.0 so you can get more
shots indoors. And so easy to

popular 35mm SLR cameras
*Vivitar Corporation, 1978

keep practically everything in
focus because the 28mm has
tremendous depth of field. Easy
to carry along too because it’s
so compact you can slip it into
your pocket. Best of all you get

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher

МАТ LEHRMAN associate publisher

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL art director
SHELDON WAX managing editor
GARY COLE photography director
G. BARRY GOLSON executive editor
TOMS

AEBLER executive art director

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: JAMES MORGAN editor; FICTION:
VICTORIA CHEN HAIDER editor; STAFF: WILLIAM
J- HELMER, GRETCHEN MC NEESE, DAVID STEVENS
senior editors; JAMES R. PETERSEN senior staff
writer; KOBERT E. CARR, BARBARA NELLIS, JOHN
REZEK associate edilors; SUSAN MARGOLIS:
WINTER assistant new york editor; WALTER L.
LOWE, KATE NOLAN, J. Е. O'CONNOR, TOM PAS-
SAVANT, ALEXA SEHR (forum), ED WALKER
assistant editors; SERVICE FEATURES: TOM
OWEN modern living editor; DAVID PLATT
fashion director; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY
editor; COPY: ARLENE BOURAS editor; STAN
AMBER assistant editor; JACKIE JOHNSON
FORMELLER, MARCY MARCHI, BARI LYNN NASH,
SUSAN O'BRIEN, DAVID TARDY, MARY ZION re
searchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: MURRAY
FISHER, NAT HENTOFE, ANSON MOUNT, PETER
ROSS RANGE, RICHARD RHODES, KOBERT SHERRILL,
DAVID STANDISH, BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies);
CONSULTING EDITOR: LAURENCE GONZALES

WEST COAST: LAWRENCE S. DIETZ editor; JOHN
BLUMENTHAL associate editor

ART

KRENG POPE managing director; LEN WILLIS,
CHET SUSKI senior directors; BOB POST, SKIP
WILLIAMSON associate directors; BRUCE HANSEN,
JOSEPH PACZER assistant directors; BETH RASIK
Senior art assistant; PEARL MIURA, JOYCE
PERALA arl assistants; SUSAN HOLMSTROM. Iraf-
fic coordinator; BARBARA HOFFMAN adminis-
trative assistant

PHOTOGRAPHY

MARILYN GRANOWSKI west coast editor; Jere
COHEN, JANICE MOSES associate editors; HOLLIS
WAYNE new york editor; RICHARD FEGLEY,
POMPEO POSAR staff photographers; JAMES
LAWSON photo manager; BILL ARSENAULT, DON
AZUMA, DAVID CHAN, NICHOLAS DE SCIOSE, PHIL-
LIP DIXON, ARNY FREVTAC, DWIGHT HOOKER,
R. SCOTT HOOPER, RICHARD IZUL, KEN MARCUS
contributing photographers; vavty BEAUDET
assistant ediloy; AX EN вовку (London), Jean
PIERRE HOLLEY (Paris), LUISA sTEWAKT. (Rome)
correspondents; JAMES WARD color lab super-
visor; ROnERT CUELIUS administrative editor

PRODUCTION

JOHN mastro director; ALLEN VARGO man-
‘ager; ELLANORE WAGNER, MARIA MANDIS,
JODY JUKGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROLI assistants

READER SERVII
JANE COWEN SCHOEN manager

CIRCULATION
RICHARD SMITH director; J. к. ARDISSONE new!
stand sales manager; ALVIN WIENOLD subscrip-
tion manager

ADVERTISING

marks adverlising

HENRY м

rector

ADMINISTRATIVE

MICHAEL LAURENCE business manager: PATRICIA
PAPANGELIS administrative editor; PAULETTE
GAUDET rights & permissions manager; MiL-
DRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant

PLAYBOY ENTERPRIS
DERICK J. DANIELS president

САМ?2* Race Proven
20W50. The oil born with
blood lines of champion-
ship racing.

CAN2. Proven in over
100,000 miles of cham-
pionship competition.

Proven by The Penske
Team as Indy's first official
200 mph motor oil.

Proven by national
funny car champion, Don
‘The Snake’ Prudhomme
at 247 mph/6.03 seconds.

What makes CAM2
Race Proven so unique?
Special magnesium-based
additive chemistry to resist
oil breakdown. To endure
the high RPM's and
extreme temperatures of
performance engines.

If you drive a perfor-
mance car of any kind, it
deserves the protection of
CAM2. The oil that earned
the name ‘Racing Blood:

The Honda Prelude:
a sports car for grown-ups.

Sports car. It may be the most abused term in the English language.

‘To some, it’s a car that can accelerate away from a stoplight at blinding
speed so that its neighbor is left to feel compromised and impotent.
To others, a sports car is measured differently. The roofline should not
exceed waist height.

At Honda, as with all our endeavors, we sce things a little more simply. As
evidence, we proudly introduce the Honda Prelude.

We like to think of it as a sports car for grown-ups. People who are real-
istic about things like 55 mph speed limits and their personal comfort
during a long trip.

This doesn’t mean that a sports car for grown-ups has to be sedate.

For the performance minded, the Prelude has a new advanced 4-wheel

independent suspension system. Add to that our proven front-wheel
drive, rack and pinion steering, 1751cc CVCC’ engine and drive train and you
have one of the most nimble Hondas we've ever made. 5
But here’s the fun part. The Prelude is delivered with our version of a
“moonroof.” It’s really a power-operated tinted-glass sunroof.

Then we've rethought the speedometer-tachometer and put them on the
same axis. So both are larger and easier to read.

The AM/EM stereo radio (standard) is located closer to the driver so

you select a station with the same ease you select a gear. Honda’s 5-speed
stick shift is standard. Our manually-selected 2-speed Hondamatic

is optional.

Now the best part. Stop holding your breath, it's all at a Honda price.

We invite you to step inside a Honda Prelude. Once you get in, you may

lH O|N DA!

We make it simple.

never want to get out.

And isn’t that really what a sports car should be?

America's
favorite couple

Seven and Seven have been going
together for over 40 years. For a perfect
marriage, just pour 1% oz. Seagram's 7
over ice in a tall glass, fill with 7-Up and |
enjoy our quality in moderation. ,

Seagram's { Crown

Where quality drinks begin.

(Sina
5м

SEAGRAM DISTILLERS CO. N.Y.C. AMERICAN WHISKEY—A BLEND, 80 PROOF.

THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY

in which we offer an insider’s look at what's doing and who's doing it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US!

It's party time all over the Playboy empire as we
celebrate our silver jubilee with unprecedented
fanfare. Festivities began in Los Angeles, where
a luncheon for 25th Anniversary Playmate Candy
Loving was followed by an employees' party in the
Playboy Club at Century City, where attractions
included a bevy of Bunnies ard a silver 25 (below).

Rance Crain, president and editorial director of Crain
Communications, Inc., publishers of Advertising Age
and Crain's Chicago Business, presents Hef with a
plaque (below) а! a luncheon he gave in Hef's honor.

Meanwhile, back in Chicago, an-
niversary events were launchad
with a champagne reception and
buffet dinner in the Cultural Cen-
ter of the Chicago Public Library.
Above, Hugh M. Hefner and
Playmate Sondra Theodore are
somewhat dwarfed by James
Rosenquis's oil Playmate. At
left, Hefner visits with artist Ed
Paschke (left) and Playboy Cor-
porate Art Director Arthur Paul.
At right, an over-all view of the
reception crowd in the elegant,
recently restored Preston Brad-
ley Hall of the Cultural Center.

Chicago-based syndicated-talk-show host Phil Donahue interviews Hef and
his daughter, Christie, Vice-President of Playboy Enterprises, Inc., during
Hef's homecoming. (For still more anniversary coverage, turn tha page.)

Motorists southbound on Chicago's Lake
Shore Drive were treated to the colorful
sight above: the Playboy Building all lit
up like a gigantic, 37-story birthday cake.

THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY

PARTY TIME IN CHICAGO

icago's premler party giver,” as Chica-
go Tribune columnist Aaron Gold described
Hefner, hosted an unforgettable bash at his
Chicago Mansion, where several hundred
guests were royally wined and dined. Be-
low, Hefner dances with one of our forth-
coming Playmates, Gig Gangel; below
center, he talks with guest Ann Landers,
the famed syndicated advice columnist.

Above, from left, syndicated columnist Irv Kupcinet, Hefner, Essie Kupcinet, Chicago
Symphony Orchestra musical director Sir Georg Solti and his wife, Lady Solti, enjoy a
moment of high spirits at the Mansion party. Also present (below right): actress Barbara
Eden, her husband, Chuck Fegert, and WLS-TV’s AM Chicago co-host Sandi Freeman.

Former Playboy executive Arnold Morton
welcomed Hefner back to the ly City
with a party at his disco, Zorine's, where
Hef boogied with 25th Anniversary Play-
mate Candy Loving (left) and was enter-
tained by the barbed wit of comedienne
Pudgy (introducing herself above). The
Playboy Towers Ballroom (right) was the
scene of the Chicago Playboy employees’
anniversary blowout. More than 1000
of them downed champagne and hors
d'oeuvres around a giant cake centerpiece
accented by Playboy Rabbit ice sculptures.

| = Су
Calvert Gino» EE

ч 7
=
ik d its | D Я
|
y =
DISTILLED DRY GIN- DISTILLED FROM AMERICAN GRAIN - 60 PROOF - CALVERT DISTILLERS CO.. N.Y.C

PLAYBOY

q
|

!
| John Brodie
in Sansabelt.

Themost

mfortable

slacksin
the world.

SANSBELT

PatentNo. 3, 723,993

C Jaymar-Ruby 1979.

Only authentic Sansabelt
slacks by Jaymar give you that
exclusive patented waistband with
X triple-stretch webbing that's
— guaranteed for the life of
the slack. Try on a pair
and see and feel the
difference
J t Jaymar-Ruby, Inc.
ЭУ Michigan City, Indiana

John Brodie, TV Sports Comment:

former All-Pro Quarterback.

Sansabelt slacks are a available at these 2 and other fine stores

EE
ERR Klopfensteina. Satara ^
ARIZONA E
Ma p sho EA
Ке D с
Шот
25 wenn Ea
Е. Santa Monica.

©з e
КЕЗ
[4 Danae
Baon reuse Baltes
aon Rove Cotas
Ed Banas
Baen reae E
[o E
pore) p
E JE
Бито хана змес аи — Due
fed КОЯ pr ре
teu [ro Снн бна
tere A camem BE
E Ecl
ped БК
үсе. Fier
tee nin
teres

ШШ

THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY

BARBI, JUGS AND HEF

“True or false?” asked Hollywood Squares host Peter Marshall of
PLAYBOY pictorial favorite Barbi Benton (above): “Тһе name Hefner
means "maker of jugs.’ ” “False,” replied Barbi, but she was mis-
taken. In German, Hafner (pronounced Hefner) means—a potter.

\
і. Б EÓÀ,
RINGING IN THE NEW AT MANSION WEST
Joining Hefner for New Year's Eve at Playboy Mansion West were
(above, from left) actress Edy Williams, September 1978 Playmate

Rosanne Katon; below, actor Ryan O'Neal (center), introducing
daughter Tatum to Hef while her younger brother Griffin looks on.

SECOND “INTERVIEW” FOR BRANDO

January's Playboy Interview subject, Marlon Brando, makes his
television debut as our April 1966 interviewee, American Nazi
George Lincoln Rockwell, with James Earl Jones portraying
Alex Haley on ABC-TV's Roots: The Next Generations (below).

ONE THING LEADS |
TO ANOTHER DEPT.

As a gift to novelist Jo-
seph Heller, Fiction Edi-
tor Vicky Haider had
Managing Art Director M
Kerig Pope design a T-
shirt with a Star of David
in the U. S. flag. The ori

inal concept was used by
artist Eraldo Carugati for
Hellers Good as Gold
(PLAYaov, March); Heller
and Simon & Schuster
loved it so much it landed
on the book jacket. (The
model is Liz Glazowski.)

COORD

mg, “tat”, 1.9 mg. nicoting ev.per cigarette, ЕТС Report MAY 78.

(©1072 n-1 HEYNOIDSTORACNA со.
- rh

The man. The cigarette. eys
themselves. d

Ordinary cigarettes just dohithave what А
Camel Filters has. :

Its blend of Turkish and Domestic tobaceos
gives him what he smokes for.

Pleasure. Satisfaction.

А Camel Filters. Man understands why the
So times are often, the simplest.

090

Warning: The en General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Heal

PLAYBOY

DEMAND PROOF

The proof of a perfect Martini
is in the proof of the Gin.
So demand Booths Ninety Proof,
the high mark of quality
in London Dry Gins.

DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYBOY BUILDING
919 N. MICHIGAN AVE.
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

WHAT SIMON SAYS
I enjoyed your fine interview with

America's most prolific playwright, Neil
Simon (PLAYBOY, February. Although
your interviews have been consistently in-
teresting, few have left me fecling as
good as that one did. Simon is intelligent,
witty and, above all, a nice person. It's a
nice change from the arrogant and su-
percilious Barbra Streisand and Marlon
Brando. Featuring a human being is a
real contrast. PLAYBOY, continue to pre-
sent entertaining and diverse personal-
ities and you will surely celebrate a few
more 25th anniversaries.

Bruce Horowitz

Hollis Hills, New York

I have liked all of Simon's works since
Come Blow Your Horn and he never
ceases to amaze me with his talent and
wit. Thanks to Simon, Linderman and
PLAYBOY, I now have the impetus to pur-
sue my lifelong dream of writing. Of
course, I could never hope to become the
likes of Simon, but I do feel our minds
work along the same track.

Dan C. Zingone
Flanders, New Jersey

ARE WE READY?

David B. Tinnin and David Halevy's
Strike Teams (PLAYBOY, February) should
be required reading for every member of
the Executive branch of Government, as
well as for every Army officer above the
rank of captain, As it stands now, we're
liable to be caught with our pants down
when the shit hits the fan. Ironically,
those who protest the loudest when it
comes to special units and Defense De-
partment budgets would probably also
scream just as loud when, and if, an
American airliner were snatched overseas
and the Rangers weren't ready.

John Lariviere
Cape Girardeau, Missouri

Really good stuffl But after reading
the Tinnin/Halevy report on strike

teams being formed in other countries
to deal with terrorists and the United
States' apparent inability to get its act to-
gether, I seriously hope the antiterrorist
establishment in Washington is giving
considerable thought to the consequences
if Lake Placid were to become another
Munich. "Nuff said?

Н. В. Schroeder

Arcadia, California

How should we handle terrorists? Save
time and wasted motion by hiring the
Israelis. As things stand, they have bet-
ter intelligence and are much faster on
their feet than our Government has been
for ages. Added to that, they do not worry
about losing their kindly public image,
since they know that that doesn’t count
when you are on a deal like this.

John P. Conlon
Newark, Ohio

In reading your article Strike Teams,
I was very happily surprised by the im-
partial stance the authors maintained in
their reporting. I refer to their ability to
not turn this issue into another cry for
gun control. I felt, instead, that it shows
the very foundation the N.R.A. has stood
on for so long in their call for crime
control, not gun control. You have shown
me in very plain terms that the most
sophisticated of weaponry is easily availa-
ble for a price to terrorists (and anyone
else involved in criminal behavior). I
look at my sporting collection and won-
der what good any of it would be if a
terrorist group tried to destroy the gener-
ating facilities 1 operate. However, the
majority of our big-city papers and na-
tional media and a very vocal minority
of politicians have all come together,
it seems, with an idea to calm me and
other worriers. They propose to complete-
ly disarm the entire American populace
by first restricting handguns, then ban-
ning them, then banning all firearms.
‘That really makes me feel better. I will

then be able to rest at night, knowing

MICHIGAN AVE., CHICAGO, ILL. eoe
24 ISSUES, $

ovi
TIONAL SALES MANAGER; MARK EVENS, ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING MANAGER, 747 THIRD AVE., NEW YORK, М.Ү. 10017; CHICAGO, RUSS

WELLER, ASSOCIATE ADVERTISING MANAGER, 319 Н. MICHIGAN AVE. ; DETROIT,

лам ғ. MOORE, MANAG!

FISHER BLDG; LA.,

This Month in

holds herown

There's oh so much to behold in
May oui. Such as Romy, who just
loves to be held. And other excit-
ing features: Like a no-respect in-
terview with Rodney Dangerfield.
A profile of the biggest badass
bounty hunter—yep, a real live
bounty hunter!—who goes by the
name of Tiny. The Cinemas Great-
est Hits, in which well-knownstars
shoot, snort and smoke a variety
of illegal substances. Plus the
Official Flaky Baseball Dictionary,
Clifford Irvings Guide to Dirty
Money Games, timely advice on
getting out of debt and much
more. All in May ош. An issue that
will hold you spellbound.

At Better Newsstands

PLAYBOY

that only the police and the criminals
and the nuts are armed and that, if I
should be attacked, the fastest response
time to my house is only an hour and
ten minutes.
Howard L. Trent
Hornbrook, California

THE GRAPES OF GOLSON
Never before have I felt the need to

respond to an article or story in PLAYBOY.
However, after reading G. Barry Golson’s
piece on Baron Philippe de Rothschild
(The Grapes of Rothschild, February), it
would be sinful on my part not to make
comment. The word class is epitomized
by this fine gentleman poet. His way of
life is, of course, to be envied; but that he
appreciates, respects, enjoys and shares
his great riches is the man's real wealth.
My father once said, “You can always tell
class, but you can't shine shit." It’s nice
to know that in a world full of shit some
real class does exist. Bravo, Mr. Golson.

Ron Monaco

San Francisco, California

ON THE BEACH
Well, Mom, I made PLAYBOY! Your

pictorial The Year in Sex (PLAYBOY, Feb-
ruary) featuring my photo sure caused
а stir in Sonoma County. Nudity, per
se, was never my issue. My private prop-
erty (and that of many others) was
being used as a dumping ground, bath-
room and bedroom! I was defied and
vilified for my objections. Because of this,
the turkeys had to don their Fruit of the
Looms! My feelings have always been
that it's their right to be nude and my
right not to have to look at them.

Alice Hinton

Healdsburg, California

GOOD SHOW
I have been reading PLAYBOY almost
since I learned how to read and, com-
pared with all other centerfolds, the one
of Playmate Lee Ann Michelle in your
February issue is the most sensuous and
provocative to have graced your maga-
zine so far.
Herbert Key
Petersburg, Virginia

I want to report that I am thinking
about not buying PLAyBoy anymore. I
don't think you could ever find a more
beautiful girl than Lee Ann Michelle.
Good luck, I think you will need it.

Frank O'Rilley
Daytona Beach, Florida

Thank God there will always be an
England.
Jeff Garner
Hinesville, Georgia

Your February Playmate is nothing
short of devastating. However, one thing
puzzles me; on page 107, she states she is
attracted to men with “small, tight

bums.” If they would help me win a girl
like Lee Ann, I'd like to acquire some.
What are small, tight bums?
Quincy Crochet
San Francisco, California
Diminutive drunken derelicts, ој
course. Next question?

Гуе always said that there were only
two things I could never get enough of,
a cup of good English tea and a good
English woman. So couldn't we see just
one more picture of Lee Ann Michelle?

Randy Lein
Albert Lea, Minnesota

Can't do much about your first request,

but we'll answer your second and hope

that Lee Ann proves to be your cup of
tea, after all.

COVER SNACK
Гуе been a subscriber to your maga-
zine for over four years now and I've
never seen a cover of PLAYBoY that turned
me on like your February one did. Candy
Collins is beautiful. Keep up the great
work, PLAYBOY.
David Blackwell
Tucson, Arizona

Please do me a favor, pat Tom Staebler
on the back for doing such a fine job on
your February cover; and, while you're
at it, pat Candy Collins on the back, too
(or wherever you think appropriate).
Together, they came up with a photo-
graph that held me transfixed for damn
near 20 minutes.

Jef B. Houtz
Cedar Rapids, lowa

DUDLEY DOWRONG

Being a member of the Royal Canadi-
an Mounted Police, I must make the
following comments on your February
Habitat feature Woolly for You. Where
did you get that down? Did you know

that had you contacted the force, you
would have had at least 10,000 willing
genuine models? The cross strap on the
Sam Browne is worn on the opposite
shoulder. Our uniform gloves are brown
leather. And there is no strap worn
under the chin with the Stetson. Also, you
have set a ridiculous precedent, as my
wife now insists that I wear my Stetson
to bed each evening.
R. F. Marsh, Constable
Strathmore Highway Patrol
Royal Canadian Mounted Police
Strathmore, Alberta

A FAMILY AFFAIR
My sincere congratulations to PLAYBOY,

Ron Vogel and his extremely beautiful
daughter Alexis (Father Knows Best,
PLAYBOY, February). Living here in the
Southeast, I find it very refreshing that
there are those in the United States who
do not suffer from an acute case of nar-
row-mindedness. The prudes of the
world turn me off. Again, congratulations
for offering your readers a top-notch
monthly.

В. Warren Cheney

Haines City, Florida

1 would like to take this opportunity
to compliment you on the continuing
quality of your magazine and the heroic
stance you have taken on many issues.
The reason for this letter is to extend
my compliments for the pictorial featur-
ing Lexi Vogel, a most beautiful lady.
Best wishes and continued success.

Mitchell Weisberg
Toronto, Ontario

Enjoyed your February layout of
photographer Ron Vogel’s daughter in
the altogether. But now please give us
some naked pictures of Vogel himself.
(Too, too gorgeous!) Those curls are to
die for!

Toni Catoire
New Orleans, Louisiana

IN, OUT, IN, OUT

I was fascinated by Richard Liebmann-
Smith's account of his experiences in
Diary of a Mad Jogger (рілувох, Febru-
ary). Recently, I've found myself similar-
ly inyolved in one of those mysteriously
seductive fads of good health. I first got
into “breathing” about six months ago.
I didn’t think much of it then; in fact,
with all the hullabaloo, I was ready to
write off all my breathing friends as wild-
eyed fanatics. But as time has passed,
breathing has become a fundamenta
part of my life. I've gotten to the point
now where I breathe practically 24 hours
a day, seven days a week. If I go one day
without breathing, it makes me just plain
antsy. What is it that makes breathing so
special? It's hard to explain to a non-
breather. You get this incredible rush
from it. It clears the head. I can think

f per!
" quality:

B gs P
hand clock
oH privers onh
peaker
system =

ket
( ption J
of"

PLAYBOY

Clarion Hi-Way Fidelity. Its like
a Concert in your Car.

Ask your retailer about Clarion 3-year warranty program.

How these things
happen to me I'll never
know! First, miracul-
ously, | land this date
with none other than
GLORIA FAVERSHAM! So
we're on our way to this
big concert-the price |
pay for a date with a girl
like Gloria- when, sud-
denly, | realized (а for-
gotten the tickets!! That
blew the concert and
possibly Gloria, too. But
then | got smart and
cranked up my new high
performance Clarion
Hi-Way Fidelity System
—the 751A Push -button
Cassette with Dolby'!

“Horace,” she said
softly, "it's like a concert
in your car!" Thank you,
Gloria. THANK YOU,
CLARION!

"Trademark Dolby Laboratories

more clearly now. And it's so convenient,
I can do it without the need for any
special equipment or a partner (in all
fairness, I should mention that I have
found that with a partner, I often get a
lot more breathing done in a shorter
period of time). The fact is, I've actually
been breathing the entire time I've been
writing this letter! (I hope you can print
that.) However, one word of caution:
Even though it is endorsed by practically
every major medical organization, any-
one who is over 40 and has not been
breathing for a long time should consult
a physician before plunging headlong
into any intensive breathing program.

Ken Burkett

Santa Monica, California

STILL HUNG UP
I found the article Ten Historical Sex
Hang-Ups, by Morton Hunt (PLAYBOY,
February), very interesting and amusing.
Perhaps Hunt would care to add this bit
of lore to his collection: The high priests
of the Aztecs used the following method
to abstain from temptation. They would
insert a bone pin into the urethra and
then slit the tube open, When they ex-
perienced desire, their penis would open
like a red leaf or some tropical flower.
Andy Kornafel
Dolton, Illinois

Perhaps a century from now, the space-
age generation will have a lot to laugh
about when they read about our sexual
"freedom." They will no doubt find our
dating rituals unnecessary conventions
that two horny and consenting adults
(better yet, individuals) need not have
bothered with!

Quakou Dhodee
Cambridge, Massachusetts

JACKPOT IN VEGAS
Congratulations on your wonderful
photo essay The Girls of Las Vegas
(rraxsov, February). However, my hat
goes off particularly to Carol Nicholson,
who is even more beautiful than my
fantasies could conjure when we were in
high school together. Good going, Carol!
“Local girl makes good” has never been
this good!
Les Finnigan
Stettler, Alberta

You made a big mistake in The Girls
of Las Vegas. The mistake was that you
showed only one shot of the most beauti-
ful, sexy, good-looking girl ever to grace
the pages of PLAYBOY, Sallie Lancaster.
She's Playmate material. Show us more!

Hugh G. Rection
Los Gatos, California
Hope you can live up to that name,

Hugh.
a

make TURTLE EXTRA car wax
extra long lasting.

TURTLE EXTRA car wax 15
the longest lasting car wax
Turtle Wax has ever made.
Extra ingredients make

a difference.
TURTLE EXTRA
car wax is a
combination of
imported and
domestic waxes,
polymers and
silicones that give
your car's finish
extra shine,

extra protection.

‘SILICONE

WAXES

101919 by Turtle Wax Inc-

We put in special waxes
from South America for high gloss.
We put in costly waxes from
Europe for a long lasting shine.
We put in “space age”
polymers that actually lock-on
to a car's finish for extra protection.
We put in not one but

two amino functional
silicones. Silicones that are
regarded as the most advanced
shine and durability agents

in the automotive industry.

| T

kurtla wax.

С
ИТЕЛ MARI SHELL
CAR WAX

turtle wax

BARA HARD SHELL CAR МАХ

TURTLE EXTRA car
wax is 100% Guaranteed.
If, in your opinion, TURTLE
EXTRA car wax does not out-
shine, outlast, or outperform,
any car wax, liquid or paste,
return unused portion to
Turtle Wax for 100% refund.
$2.00 Refund Offer.
Look for special refund offer
on TURTLE EXTRA car

wax packages. In liquid or
new soft paste.

= Еһ unique spirit of С

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

DON'T DO IT YOURSELF
Waterbed Kingdom of Yakima, Wash-
ington, advertises, “Complete Waterbed,
Already Stained.” We assume this offer is
available on a first-come, first-served basis.

HANDY ADVICE

We forward Dear Abby's wise coun-
sel to a married woman who complained
about being so attractive that the a
wouldn't let her alone; “F: 5d
you aren't consdously inviting the atten-
tions of the opposite sex, you must be
doing so unconsciously. No man in his
right mind makes a pass at a statue. He
needs some encouragement. A woman
who has to beat off every man she meets
should find out why.” Especially since a
firm handshake is all that is required.

LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT

No matter what the celebrities on TV
say, there are some dangers in carrying
credit cards, as a group of wealthy Arabs
learned recently. It all started in one of
London's most prestigious department
stores, where a rich Middle Eastern gen-
tleman purchased an expensive sable coat
for a female friend. He paid for it using
one of the store's private credit cards.
After the Arab walked out with his coat,
a horrified sales clerk discovered that
both the customer's signature and the
credit-card number had been smeared by
the charge-card machine, making it im-
possible to decipher the bill. Just to play
it safe, the store ran a check of all its
wealthy customers with charge accounts
and came up with a list of likely Arab
coat lovers. It then sent each one of them
a bill for the $65,000 coat in question. And
what happened? Within a week, ten had
paid for the coat with no questions asked.

HYPO-TYPO

The Suburban Trib section of the
Chicago Tribune ran a very serious arti-
cle on a therapist who employs “mirror
actions” to help mentally disturbed

people get in touch with their feelings.
However, someone on the Tribune's staff
must have had a brief mental lapse
when the headline was set; it read: “MIR-
ROR ACTIONS HELP RAPIST BREAK THROUGH
FANTASY WORLD.

MISBEGOTIEN MOON

John Gallagher, Jr, was reelected
president of the Cleveland Board of
Education, despite his arrest and con-
viction last fall for mooning. It seems
that Gallagher, 27, exposed his buttocks
out of a car window while riding home
from a rock concert. He apologized for
his behavior, calling the incident a “silly
mistake.”

PODS NIPPED IN BUD

When director Phil Kaufman and pro-
ducer Robert Solo decided to remake the
classic sci-fi film Invasion of the Body
Snatchers, they switched the locale of the
alien invasion to San Francisco. Little
did they realize that in doing so, they
would actually spawn a real-life landing
of pod people in the sleepy Los Angeles

suburb of Sierra Madre, the site of the
original 1956 film.

While the nation at large was taken
over by the widescreen San Francisco
pod stars, the tiny hamlet made do with
a televised repeat of the classic version.
Then pod purists took over. Early on the
Sunday morning following the televised
rerun, startled Sierra Madre police, on a
routine patrol, found a dozen of the
alien plant spores—three feet long and
coyered with white veins—in a public
park.

The cops rapidly removed the ersatz
aliens that bore the names of Mayor Tom
Edwards, the police chief, several city
councilmen and a few local businessmen.
By midmorning, all the pods had been
carted off in order to prevent what one
glassy-eyed policeman flatly described as
“a large amount of congestion” in the
area surrounding the park.

Thank God nobody's remade Godzilla.

UNHUNG JURY

Just before the jury was to decide the
case of Clifford Russ in St. Louis, Mis-
souri, he dropped trou and shouted
obscenities at the eight men and four
women. About an hour later, the jurors
returned and found Russ guilty of pos-
session of burglary tools. They said that
Russ's actions in court had not influenced
their verdict.

OUT OF THEIR GOURDS

Dhani warriors of the Irian Jaya (for-
merly Dutch New Guinea) central high-
lands are a proud people. Consequently,
they fiercely resisted efforts by the Indo-
nesian government to stop them from
flaunting what they're most proud of—
penis gourds called kotekas, ordinarily
their only apparel. The Aotekas point
heayenward, can extend to 15 inches and
on state occasions are equipped with little
red-and-white Indonesian banners. Em-
barrassed by these Stone Age jock straps,
the government has waged a long and
futile war that culminated a few years

PLAYBOY

ago when troops used submachine guns
to coax the highlanders into pairs of civ-
ilized Bermuda shorts. The crafty natives
outfoxed the army by wearing the shorts
over the gourds and letting their spears
project obtrusively above the waistband.
Indonesia finally relented. “Do not force
them to follow our wish,” the defense
minister told local authorities. “If they
still like to live in the jungles or wear the
kotekas, let them do it." In other words,
down with shorts and up with male
show-vinism.

MADE FOR EACH OTHER
We are told that cheek by jowl on
Seventh Avenue in nautical-minded Santa
Cruz California, are two restaurants—
The Randy Tar and The Bearded Clam.

OFF-TRACK PETTING

Af the shoe fits, fuck in it. Hudson
Brown of Chicago offers a “runner's bed”
for sale. This $200 bedroom toy is a giant
runner's sneaker complete with shoe-
strings (great for bondage!) and your
choice of colors. Since the bed is а func-
tional piece of art, you can hang it on
your bedroom wall in the morning. Only
complaint so far is that some guys and
ladies have contracted athlete's foot in
the strangest places.

HEART OF DARKNESS

Who says there are no more statesmen?
While the national media were struggling
to comprehend the “meaning” of the
Jonestown “suicides,” former California
governor Ronald Reagan had no prob-
lem putting the whole sordid affair in
perspective.

“ГИ try not to be happy in saying
this" the G.O.P. Presidential hopeful
told a German interviewer. "[Jones] sup-
ported a number of political figures but
seemed to be more involved with the
Democratic Party. І haven't seen anyone
in the Republican Party haying been
helped by him or seeking his help.”

For the record, the Reverend Jim
Jones was a registered Republican.

OIL ALONE

As if working in a country that bans
movies, alcohol and pLayroy weren't
hardship enough, an ad seeking three
employees for a construction firm in
Saudi Arabia stipulates, "Preference
will be given to Americans or individ-
uals speaking fluent English, possessing
a strong personality, experienced in ne-
gotiations and willing to accept celibacy
in Riyadh.”

BATHETIC BATH

Passo di Danza, a 16400: statue of a
nude in front of Michigan Consolidated

26 Gas Company's Detroit headquarters,

GUEST LECTURE

PETER O'TOOLE: WHY
| CRAVE THE HOT DOG

I came to the United States for

the first time in the early Fifties. In
Europe, we had rationing and little
food from 1939 until 1955. Even
after the war, food was still ra-
tioned. Then when rationing
ended, we were on restriction in
terms of buying clothes and food.
When I left Europe, meat was in-
credibly expensive and the govern-
ment meat program allowed a man
40 years old five ounces of meat a
day—maximum.

When I first arrived in New
York, І couldn't believe it. They
were selling meat—huge fucking
pieces of meat—for nothing! And
in the streets, there was this di
cioussmelling cheap food; “passing-
parade food," we called it, not
junk food: hot dogs, tamales, pea-
nuts, hamburgers, all of it. And it
was affordable. That's when my
passion for hot dogs began.

1 сап still clearly remember when
I tasted my first hot dog. It was the
day I arrived in New York. I
bought it from a barrow vendor. 1
remember I asked for onions and
some mustard. To appreciate the
moment, you should know that I'd
never seen a real hot dog. I knew
they existed, that it was some sort
of sausage, but a sausage to an
Irishman is raw pork or beef
ground up and packed without
that rather strange skin around it.

The words to describe that first
bite are elusive. Let me say that it
was, very simply, heaven. It was the
nicest thing that ever happened to
me on the streets of New York.

Perhaps thats why every now
and then, my taste goes back to
those years and I say to my dinner
companions, “Fuck the frogs legs.
Let's have some hot dogs.”

needed a bath. But, so that no one would
be offended in seeing a workman suds-
ing down the statue's private parts, the
company surrounded it and the worker
with an opaque screen.

GOOD HEAD

The following headline appeared on
a story dealing with gay rights in the
Armed Services: "MILITARY ORDERED TO
REVIEW DISCHARGES OF HOMOSEXUALS.'"

THE THING WITH NO NAME

First, a small quiz.

1. What do you call the shield—usu-
ally of clear plastic—installed over salad
bars and cafeteria lines?

2. The narne, please, of the wire thing
that fits over the cork on a champagne
bottle. Also, the name for the deep, fin-
gerlike indentation at the bottom of the
bottle.

3. What is the proper term for that
awful gunk that smoking produces at the
bottom of a pipe and that smokers are
forever trying to bang out on the bot-
toms of their shoes?

4. The name for the piece of a sere
tarys desk that makes it difficult to look
at her legs.

5. The name of the piece of paper that
falls out of a magazine and lands in
your lap.

6. If a palindrome is а word that is
spelled the same backward and forward
(bib, kayak, radar, rotator), what is the
name for a word that spells another word
backward (diaper, straw, dessert)?

Answers: 1. Sneeze guard. 2. Agraffe
and punt. 3. Dotle. 4. Modesty panel.
5. A blow-in сага. 6. As far as we сап
tell, there is as yet no name for this.

All of this brings us to the fact that an
author we know—the same guy who was
collecting whimsical laws a few months
back—is now at work on a book that will
catalog names for things that are com-
monplace but that have obscure names
or, in the case of number six in our quiz,
no names at all. This seems like a worth-
while project, so we will be helping him
collect these little-known names and pub-
lishing the best of them here. We are also
interested in hearing about objects, con-
ditions and phenomena that are nameless
and that you might want to name. For
instance, a doctor we know tells us that
there is no name for that sudden pain
one gets in the sinuses when one eats
ice cream too fast. A possible name:
baskinrobbinsitus.

BURNING ISSUE
When Jim Cunningham, wanted to
install a crematorium їп Sissonville,
West Virginia, residents signed a petition
to block his plans, However, the
Charleston Daily Mail conducted a poll
and was surprised that 66 percent of its

The Chili Cookin Offer from Marlboro.

Chili. Just thinkin’ about it
made a cowboy hungry.
Aud when the cook fixed up
his own braud of chili on
а cold and windy day, a whiif
of it was enough to start the
whole outfit ridin’ for

the chuckwagon. |

The Chili Cookin’ Offer— J
everything you need t6 fixup
your own special brand.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

You get a five-quart
cast-iron kettle with lid,
serving ladle,
four stoneware bowis,
and a cookbook with five
famous chili recipes and lots
of serving ideas to boot.

$3200
Er

to Mariboro Country. j

mau to: Marlboro Chili Cookin’ Offer

Р О Box 4730. Westbury. New York 11592
Please send me (| ) Marlboro Chili Cookin’ Set(s) at $32.00 each
Enclosed are two end labels from any pack or box of Marlboro.
and a check or money order (no cash, please)
made out to Marlboro Chili Cookin’ Offer

Name
Address

City. Zi.

Tre
Otter available only to persons over 21 years of где Offer good

USA only. except where prohibited. licensed or taxed. Offer good
until October 31. 1979. or while supply lasis Please allow

6 to 8 weeks for delivery PB

Clip and save. Our aim is to make sure youre completely

satisfied with your order d that you get it on time But sometimes
things go wrong. If they do, be sure to let us know. Write:

Mariboro Chili Cookin’ Otter, 100 Park Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10017
Lights: 12 0.8 mg nicotine—Kings: 17 mg "tar; 1.0 mg nicotine—
100's: 18 mg’ 1.1 mg nicotine av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report May’ 78

PLAYBOY

respondents favored the facility. Here is
опе good reason why: “I think it would be
good to have a crematory in the Kana-
wha Valley because if a person wanted
to be cremated, (he) wouldn't have to
drive a long distance to have it done."

FUN FACTS TO
AMAZE YOUR FRIENDS

The following is from the research Scot
Morris showed us for his forthcoming
“The Book of Strange Facts and Useless
Information.”

Raymond Burr was once a professional
nightclub singer.

The biggest sheet-music hit of all time
was Yes, We Have No Bananas, which
sold 2,000,000 copies in 1923 alone. After
it became a hit, the Westman Company
sued the song's publishers, charging that
the melody was a direct steal from Han-
del's Messiah. The Westman Company,
which published Handel's music, proved
its case in court and was awarded a share
of the song's profits.

Quiz: It was invented in France in
1863 and initially consisted of beef suet,
warm milk and sheep-stomach lining.
What was it?

Answer: Margarine.

Many early explorers spent their time,
money and lives trying to find the famed
Northwest Passage, the deep-water route
from the North Atlantic tc the Arctic
Ocean. The ship that finally found it was
the Octavius, carrying a crew of dead
men.

The ship was frozen in north of Point
Barrow, Alaska, in November of 1762.
The crew, without supplies, all died on
board. Slowly, the ship loosened itself
from the ice and crept eastward, year by
year, until it was sighted by a whaling
ship off the coast of Greenland on August
12, 1775. The Octavius had been the
first ship to negotiate the historic North-
west Passage, with a captain and crew
who had been dead for 13 years.

Pool hustler Minne-
lized for lung dam-
ig too much dust

Bluc-lung discas
sota Fats was hospi
age caused by in|
from cue-tip chalk.

б
Pennies, in numbers over 25, аге not

legal tender if the recipient doesn't want
them. If you tried to pay off a $100 Joan
with a truckload of pennies, for example,
your creditor could legally refuse to ac-
cept them and the debt would still stand.
б

In order to quash rumors that the
China of 1960 resembled in any way
Adolf Hiuer's Third Reich, the Chinese
Communist quarterly National Construc-
tion wrote, in the duction to a re-
printed Chairman Mao article, that
"Adolf Hitler was five feet, six inches

\
$

tall and weighed 143 pounds, He was
renowned for his spellbinding oratory,
relations with women and annihilation
of a minority people. In his last years, he
suffered from insanity and delusions of
grandeur. Chairman Mao is taller and
heavier.”
б
According to Alexis Bespaloff, author
of The Signet Book of Wine, the best
way to remove a red-wine stain is to wash
the spot with white wine.
°
Napoleon's penis went on the auction
block in Paris recently. It was described

in the catalog as “a small, dried-up ob-
ject.” Nobody met the minimum bid of
$40,000, so the shriveled member was re-
placed in a box and returned to its own-
er, an American businessman, who is
ting for the penis market to go up.
°
The physicists who tested those lunar
rocks brought back by Apollo XI re-
ported in Science that, “aided by consid-
erations of much earlier speculations
concerning the nature of the moon,” they
found the samples had a compressional
velocity very close to that of provolone
and Vermont cheddar cheese.
°
Historians do not know who invented
the bulldozer.

The first time Richard Burton kissed
Elizabeth Taylor, she burped. It hap-
pened during the filming of Cleopatra,
and the scene had to be reshot.

Quiz: Which freezes faster, hot water
or cold water?

Answer: Hot water. As a warm liquid
cools, rapid evaporation lowers the tem-
perature quickly.

When Russian director Sergei Fisen-
stein restaged the storming of the Winter
Palace for his 1927 movie classic October,

more persons died during the filming of
the furious sequence than had been
killed in the actual attack.
е
You can бх a noisy electric clock by let-
ting it run upside down for a few hours:
‘The oil circulates more evenly, resulting
in a quieter mechanism.
б
Many animals have unsociable dinner
habits, but those of the skua seagull are
probably the worst. A hungry skua power-
dives directly toward another bird, fright-
ening it to disgorge whatever is in its
stomach, then catches and eats the pre-
digested meal in mid-air.
P
At certain times of the year, it is pos-
sible to hear corn grow.
Б
Johannes Brahms was once invited to
dinner by a man who considered himself
a wine connoisseur. The host uncorked a
dust-covered bottle, poured some wine
into the composer's glass, saying proud-
ly, “This is the Brahms of my cellar."
According to Artur Rubinstein in My
Young Years, Brahms “took a look at the
color of the wine, then sniffed its bou-
quet, finally took a sip and put the glass
down, obviously unimpressed. Turning
to his host, he said: “Better bring the
Beethoven.’

During World War Two, a secret Jap-
ancse radio station was found operating
underground in Hollywood. Officials un-
covered the station because actress Lu-
cille Ball had reported that whenever she
walked near the area, she picked up Jap-
anese radio broadcasts on some tempo-
rary lead fillings in her teeth.

On the old Arthur Godfrey's Talent
Scouts show, no one who sang I Believe
ever lost.

So many Americans travel in Japan
that motorists are provided with English
translations of Japanese trafic signs.
Some of the more picturesque:

+ When a passenger of the foot heave
in sight, tootle the horn, Melodiously at
first, but if he still obstacles your passage,
tootle him with vigor.

+ Beware the wandering horse that he
shall not take fright as you pass him by.
Do not explode the exhaustbox . . . go
smoothingly by.

= Give big space to the festive dog that
shall sport in the roadway.

+ Go soothingly in the grease mud, as
there lurks the skid demon.

James Arness was the first American
soldier to jump off his boat at the Anzio
Beachhead invasion of World War Two.
He was ordered to be first because he was
the tallest man in his company and his
commander wanted him to test the depth
of the water.

YOU'VE SEEN ALL THE CASSETTE
ADS... NOW GO HEAR THE PROOF

[7780 MINUTE BÄ © С. ]
te |B

The Proofis a pre-recorded demonstration
of sounds you've never heard. Sounds made
possible because of BASF Professional Series
cassettes.

The Proofis proof that BASE the inventor of
recording tape, has once again gone one step
ahead in sound.

New, highly advanced, second generation
coatings make BASF Pro-Series the most
sensitive recording tapes.

Рго-Гѕ (normal bias) maximum output level
is unsurpassed amongferric cassettes.

Pro-Ils (chrome high bias) incredibly
advanced chrome formulation enables it to

AS up to reel-to-reel specifications.

Pro-Ill's (ferrichrome) formulation gives
superb results on all recorders, especially car
stereo cassette players.

Inthe past, we've proven our superiority with
our Chrome, Studio and Performance Series
cassettes. And nowall BASF cassettes also have
a patented Security Mechanism" for jam-proof
performance.

Sensitivity is impossible to prove on paper. But
easyto prove by simply goingto your audio dealer
and asking for The Proof. Or, you can send for it.
Either way, once you hear it we're sure you'll
believe it.

TO HEARIT IS TO BELIEVE IT

Send $3.50 with this coupon to: The Proof, Box 18367,
Boston, MA 02118. Well send you The Proof (Profes-
sional I C-90, $4.99 value). Or. for a free demonstration
of The Proof, bring this coupon to your audio dealer.

Name.

- GIVE METHE PROOF

Address.
City. — State.

HIBASF

he good things about Hardeore are

very, very good. One of them is Sea-
son Hubley, who plays a feisty, resilient
hooker and "parlor girl" recruited by a
deeply religious businessman (George C.
Scott) to find his missing teenaged daugh-
ter. Scott, as a character called Jake Van
Dorn of Crand Rapids, Michigan, combs
the California fleshpots and even poses
as a porno-movie producer in the course
of his search. At one point, he spells out
the strict Calvinist tenets of the Christian
Reformed Church to which he belongs,
while Season blinks at him as if he had
just dropped down from Mars. "And I
thought I was fucked up,” she deadpans.
Her well-researched performance has
more than authenticity. Season plays it
with pain and self-mocking humor, to
establish a vital life line between herself
and the seedy porno underworld Hard-
core explores—from San Diego to L.A.
and San Francisco. The role is not espe-
cially attractive, but she evokes sympathy
because she doesn’t beg for it, keeping
up a facade so brittle that you know she
must be about to break.

Scott is also forceful and effective in a
part he hesitated to accept, according to
press releases, until he knew Hardcore
would be “a very moral film,” setting out
to dramatize “how shallow, useless and
sick the whole sex industry is.” I'd like to
give Scott points for the fact that his
portrayal of VanDorn is more complex
than his public statements suggest. He
and the film don't cop out in character-
izing Jake as a cold, repressed, potentially
violent man whose zealous virtue, as
much as anything else, may explain his
daughter's fall from grace.

Writer-director Paul Schrader (who
wrote Taxi Driver, then made his prom-
ising directorial debut with Blue Collar)
describes this work as “a volatile mix-
ture the hard-core of the old morality
us. the hard-core of the new.” The early
establishing scenes in Grand Rapids
(Schrader's home town) catch the Bible
Belted insularity of Middle America with
a few swift strokes. He does all right
depicting sinful, sunny California, too—
a Babylon inhabited by such tacky speci-
mens as Peter Boyle, playing a private
investigator whose daily bread depends
ngs you don't even know about in
Grand Rapids.”

The bad news is Schrader’s preachy
sensationalism, the failure to make good
on his vow that he could expose pornog-
raphy "without having to make up any
counterfeit attacks." If he knew enough
to give Hardcore some of its bitingly
funny insights, I'm baflled as to why he
settled for the hokum of introducing a
producer of “snuff movies" as archvillain
of the piece. Scott ultimately wrests his
daughter (newcomer Ilah Davis in a

Scott, Davis in Hardcore.

Scott meets a Season
for all men; Marjoe
sizzles; Sutherland

turns Victorian—twice.

Marjoe and Candy in Red Ryder.

Sutherland in Murder by Decree.

relatively minor role) from the hands of
а fiend who murders people oncamera to
produce the ultimate hardcore kick.

"That's a cheap shot. In my rather exten-
sive travels through the world of porn,
I have seen a lot to criticize, satirize and
yawn through, but have yet to see a bona
fide snuff movie. I hope none exist. A
man of Schrader's talent owed it to him-
self and to all of us to keep Hardcore
out of the horrorstory tradition of hys-
teria typified by the camp classic Reefer
Madness.

Until now, Marjoe Gortner has never
found a role equal to his electrifying
self-portrait as a former child evangelist
in Marjoe back in 1972. To be peren-
nially promising must be а drag, so he
did himself a favor by producing and
starring in When You Comin’ Back, Red
Ryder. That old shake-the-rafters Marjoe
magic sizzles again in Mark Мейо
adaptation of his 1973 hit play. The
movie gets off to a wobbly start, because
neither Мейо nor director Milton Kat-
selas can quite conceal the stagy origins
of Red Ryder—one of those deep-dyed
American originals about a group of
people trapped in а roadside diner in
New Mexico by a sadistic, suicidal teller
of harsh Truths. Marjoe plays the key
role as Teddy and he's great, flashing
across the screen like a hot wire while
an insidious musical score (by Jack
Niusche) supplies rattlesnaky accompa-
niment. The actors are the whole show,
with Candy Clark (who became Marjoe's
missus while the film was being shot) as
his skittish accomplice, England's Peter
Firth as Red Ryder (mastering a regional
U.S. accent so perfectly that he's hardly
recognizable as the boy who dug horses
in Equus), plus blonde movie newcomer
Stephanie Faracy in a really knockout
debut as the plump, poignant waitress
named Angel. Lee Grant, Hal Linden
and Pat Hingle are effective in dullish,
conventional roles as the rest of Teddy's
captive audience. Once the rather lengthy
exposition is out of the way, however,
they don't dare take their eyes off Marjoe,
and neither will you.

Sherlock Holmes meets Jack the Rip-
per in Murder by Decree, and the first thing
to note about this finely crafted English
thriller is that James Mason plays Dr.
Watson to Christopher Plummer's ur-
bane Holmes. There may never have
been a better Watson than Mason, who's
always superb but surpasses himself as
the peevish, dithery Watson—particular-
ly when he begins to sulk over a squashed
pea on his dinner plate. David Hem-
mings, Susan Clark, Genevieve Bujold,
Donald Sutherland, John Gielgud and
Anthony Quayle also keep Plummer com-
pany, one way or another, while a net of
intrigue closes around the legendary
sleuth. Murder by Decree is a provocative

“Ballantine's.
Damn good
scotch.”

"ue tar OIN T MENT TS.
Lese" Queen узт”,
б ©
ING enwan

[2]
В
Я
B5
Б
E
P
B
by
E
3
ты
R
£
É
É
$
5
B:
Ej
a
E
Ё

lended Scotch Whisky, bot

PLAYBOY

mixture of fact and Holmesian fiction,
drawn partly from a book called The
Ripper File, which purports to sort out
some recent theories about the actual
identity of the bloody, infamous Jack.
Here, in John Hopkins’ screenplay, Sher-
lock deduces that the ghastly murders of
several London streetwalkers in 1888 are
part of a scandalous conspiracy—a kind
of Victorian Watergate, traceable directly
to the English throne and the Duke of
Clarence, son of the future King Edward
VII. To tell much more might spoil the
film's surprises, which are many and
varied, and all wrapped up in eerie Lon-
don fog. Holmes purists, beware, for
Murder is a smashing cerebral thriller
that places greater emphasis on the Rip-
per case than on the denizens of Baker
Street. Annals-of-crime buffs should re-
joice while trying to dope out a plot
that's deliciously diabolical and quite
possibly true.
е

Another major misdeed of the Victo-
rian era—the first time in history anyone
had dared to hijack a moving train—is
the dodgy business afoot in The Great Train
Robbery. Directed by Michael Crichton,
who also adapted it from his own best
seller, Robbery scems curiously short of
suspense until the last reel. Meticulous
period decor and a suave, tongue-in-cheek
performance by Sean Connery are pleas-
ant enough, but the movie concentrates
on effects when it ought to pick up mo-
mentum. Connery as Edward Pierce, the
rogue who masterminded the caper—the
loot is a shipment of gold bound for
Folkestone and beyond, to finance the
Crimean War—is abetted by luscious
Lesley-Anne Down, as a lady who slips in
and out of countless disguises, and Don-
ald Sutherland again (in Murder by De-
cree, Sutherland plays a psychic with bad
vibes; here he plays a locksmith with an
unidentifiable accent). Great Train Rob-
bery's leisurely pace reminds me of wan-
dering through an exhibit of Victorian
brica-brac. It's overstuffed, fussy in de-
tail, extravagant, But nothing really leaps
out of the cobwebbed past to grab you.

No wonder there's a revival of interest
in foreign films, since so many recent
imports have something interesting to
tell, or at least a fresh, nonformula way
of telling it. Israeli writer-director Zeev
Revah’s Little Mon—with Revah himself
in the sympathetic title role as a factory
worker whose name in Hebrew is Shraga
Little Man—stacks up as a gritty con-
temporary sex comedy, as well as an ef-
fective showcase for Nitza Shaul (see
Foreign Sex Stars, page 168). Nitza plays
Sofia, a volunteer performer who goes to
sing for army-reserve troops on maneu-
vers one stormy night and, in her inno-
cent eagerness to please, is maneuvered
into having sex with at least four out of
five crewmen in an armored tank. Later,
pregnant, Sofia travels to Tel Aviv to tell

BY) 9:7

Great Train Robbery: Down with Connery.

Sean Connery masterminds
aperiod caper;
some top-notch foreign
films reach our shores.

Antonelli, Olga Karlatos in Wifemistress.

the fellas her problem, They're all settled
back into ап Ше and married, en-
gaged, scared or skeptical. Sofia pre-
fers Little Man, who is about to marry his
boss's daughter. If it were not for Nitza's
engaging honesty, all this might easily
deteriorate into the story of a deter-
mined, vindictive vixen on a husband
hunt, But Nitza moves through the film's
muddy moral waters without becoming
self-righteous, while Revah helps her in
his triple stint as co-author, director and
star. Together, they explore how true
love triumphs for a nice girl in trouble,
and Little Man's somewhat corny plot
begins to assume a charmed life. Don't
fight it, it’s nice.

То work up а contemporary audi-
ence's concern about the evils of colo-
nialism in the Dutch East Indies more
than a century ago is a challenging
assignment. Nor are Dutch movies with
English subtitles on any subject likely
to be easy sells. All the more credit to
producer-director Fons Rademakers for

Max Havelaar. Based on a milestone his-
torical novel by Eduard Douwes Dekker,
published in 1860, Max stars Peter Faber
as the idealistic hero in the title role. Of
course, a splashy success in Amsterdam
and Utrecht causes hardly a ripple over
here. Will it help if I tell you that Faber
is marvelous? Or that the film itseli—
though rather long, at two hours and 45
minutes—is an exotic, eloquent and time-
less indictment of colonial exploitation?

Max Havelaar happens on the island
of Java in the mid-19th Century in a
remote, impoverished province where lo-
cal native rulers and their Dutch over-
lords conspire to squeeze maximum
profits from the coffee trade while keep-
ing the peasants in their place. A
eyed innocent bureaucrat, Max п:
believes he can reform a corrupt system,
stir the Indonesian governor-general's
latent humane instincts and chalk one
up for truth and justice. He's not aware
at the outset that the honest man who
preceded him as assistant-resident in the
district died mysteriously, probably poi-
soned. He has to experience murder and
treachery firsthand, find his garden sud-
denly infested with venomous snakes,
tremble for his family's safety before he
begins to comprehend that capitalism is
not altruism. On the evidence here, Max
could be adjudged a dimwit—or a slow
study, at best—but Faber plays the part
with such disarming, boyish exuberance
that you root for Havelaar as if he were
Rocky, Serpico or any stubborn modern
underdog with heavy odds against him.

Your Тот, My Turn is the vin ordinaire
of French films—dry, palatable, young
and sophisticated enough to get by. Mar-
lene Jobert and Philippe Leotard co-star
as Agnes, an interior decorator married
to a philandering rock-music promoter,
and Vincent, a divorced man with a ten-
year-old daughter. They meet in the park.
Agnes has 2 seven-year-old son. Vincent
has a lesbian sister, a physiotherapist who
needs her salon decorated. C'est magni-
fique, non? Everyone has needs, but Agnes
has doubts. She overcomes them for a
while. And for a while, it's "l'amour the
merrier,” as Bea Lillie used to sing. Then
it ends, And then, and then . . . oh,
nevair mind. Aimezvous Paris? Moi,
jaime beaucoup Paris. Voulezvous du
vin ordinaire? Have a sip. There are no
aftereffects, but an hour later, you may be
thirsty again.

Marcello Mastroianni, in Wifemistress,
squanders his large talents on a small
tall tale about a wealthy businessman
who pretends to be dead because of im-
minent trouble with the law. While con-
cealed in a relative's house just across
the plaza from his own, he watches his
bereaved semiinvalid wile undergo a
startling transformation after she learns

P Җ/

PLAYBOY

of his former secret life as a habitual
seducer and. publisher of anarchist revo-
lutionary tracts. The wife jumps out of
bed, gets her act together, takes over the
family business, experiments with. les-
bianism. initiates dramatic social reforms
and finally gets back into bed—frequent-
ly—with a passionate young doctor.
Viewing all this from his hideaway be-
hind a shuttered window, the lady's late
mate is as outraged as апу se
countless previous movies about macho
betrayed her
ed my dignity,
groans, Director Marco Vicario's turned-
worm story of a woman's vengeance back
in the early 1900s is handsomely pro-
duced but heavy going, with Mastroianni
under wraps as a mere voyeur, The mov-

s major asset, as well as the object of
Marcello's Peeping Lui t is Laura
ntonelli, whose face, figure and fooling
around in the title role clearly show why
millions of Italians consider her their
ivorite sex symbol since Sophia first
flounced onto the film scene. Offscreen,
French superstar Jean-Paul Belmondo
claims most of Laura's free time, and
that doesn’t hurt a girl's image, either.

In another period piece that broke
box-office records in its New York pre-
mier
Innocent teams Antonelli with Giancarlo
Giannini. Seems to me that some critics
and film buffs have gone soft toward
Visconti (who made Death in Venice and
The Damned), now that he is no longer
with us. The Innocent has been hailed
s a ravishing erotic masterpiece, de-
scribed. with such pulse-pounding cn-
thusiasm that you'd expect to have your
fancy tickled almost beyond endurance.
Well, perhaps one man's erotica is an-
other man's Valium, but this elegant
filming of a novel by Italian soldier-poct
and professional decadent Gabriele
D'Annunzio (1863-1938) struck me as
tasteful, studied and austere. Nothing
wrong with that, but it’s not the same as
blood-tingling. Again, Antonelli is а su-
asy on the eyes. As her
ni overworks his
seriocomic sheep-dog look in a role that
otherwise lacks humor. He's а rake who
doesn't really become excited by his wife
until, following a brief affair, she bears
nother man's child. Then he wants her
back, frequently, but her misbegotten off-
spring offends his pride. Somehow the
innocent child has to go before thei
indled passion can really zoom. We'll
skip the dei Jennifer O'Neill, of all
people—beautiful as ever but speaking
dubbed Italian—plays а turn-of-the-cen-
tury temptress who appears to be a lot
less wicked than her reputation suggests,
So is The Innocent.

‚ the late Luchino Visconti's The

in movie on a

For a truly sexy Ма
touchy subject, Mastroiann
newcomer Nastassja Kinski

and dazzling
1 Stay As You

Innocent's Antonelli, Giannini.

Something for everybody
as Antonelli, Mastroianni
star in two films each;
all this and Kinski, too!

Kinski, Mastroianni sexy in Stay As You Are.

Are are the toughest act to follow. Di-
rector Alberto Lattuada’s tale of an
ncestuous May-December romance be-
tween а 50ish architect and ап I8-year-
old child-woman who could be his own
daughter is neither profound nor impor-
tant, nor even wildly original. But ba
nality becomes blue chip because the film
а rich role for Mastroianni, maybe
best movie actor alive and unques-
ably second to none. Mastroianni ex-
ses so much while seeming to do so
little, he seems to have tapped the inner,
essential truth of older men’s fantasies
about younger women and he crea
complex, rucful, painfully funny portr:
n who finds his puritan conscience
ural lust. He picks up а
carefree young ‚Lorelei, spends a night
with her, then discovers she's the daugh.
ter of Fosca, a former mistress now de-
ceased, who loved him and left him just

long enough ago to establish reasonable
doubt as to whether or not the child she
bore was his. In a situation that could
easily look vulgar or damned silly, Mar-
cello's dilemma is made credible by his
own phenomenal skill, plus the awesome
presence of Kinski. Bare or clothed, the
German-born daughter of actor Klaus
Kinski needs only а few minutes onscreen
to tell the world she's somebody special.
Nastassja lifts her head and laughs, and
she’s like a young Ingrid Bergman—
looser, more contemporary and sensu-
ous—or like Julie Christie in Billy Liar,
just walking along so jauntily that, abra-
cadabra, а star is born. Among the first
to notice was director Roman Polanski.
who grabbed lovely Nastassja for the title
role in his forthcoming film based on
Thomas Hardy's tragic Tess of the
D'Urbervilles.

I's hardly a secret that there is a
pro-Altman attitude in this corner. Even
his less successful films—from Images
to Buffalo Bill and Three Women—are
risky, imaginative, strikingly personal
statements, evidence of Altman's readi-
nes to go for broke, trying everything,
trying anything, but always reaching for
more than another hot-from-Hollywood-
assembly-line hit. Now and then, of
course, a hit wouldn't hurt. Sorry to say,
Quintet, his latest, is a maddening fu-
turistic fiasco that completely lacks the
sweet. smell of success on any count, de-
spite a prestigious roster of international
stars headed by Paul Newman. The rest
of the li: ncludes Vittorio Gassman,
Fernando Rey. Bibi Andersson, Brigitte
Fossey and Nina
trust Altman, which is why high-priced
superstars sometimes reduce their salary
demands to do an Altman movie. It’s
palpable proof of one’s seriousness about
Arike signing up to perform a Che:
khov play in a limited off-Broadw n.

Wearing fivecornered hats and cos-
tumes of vaguely Elizabethan cut, Quin-
tel’s playe fast-frozen ticipants
in а deadly game, with rules almost im-
possible to follow. The movie begins
ng an ice age (who knows where or
13), established by French cinemat
rapher Jean Boffetys spectacular long
shot of a streamlined train stalled in its.
tacks under a snowbank, apparently
overtaken by an advancing glacier. Then
we follow Newman and Fossey into the
remains of an icebound city. There they
get caught up in The Game, obviously
the only game in town. Starts at a table.
with something like chess pieces, though
usually everyone ends up with a hit list—
the losers are apt to be impaled or
burned alive. Anyway, the end is always
e supposed to read

ghastly. Perhaps we
some significance into the fact that civili-
zation looks pretty well finished and a
handful of survivors can find no better
amusement than to destroy one another.
That’s grim. But grim is one thing, dull

We'll stop making razor blades
when we can’t keep
making them better.

Gillette announces
new Microsmooth blades.

A major improvement for Gillette twin-blade shaving

King C. Gillette promised to keep improving your shave. That’s why he
would have been more than pleased with our new Microsmooth twin blades.

Microsmooth is a patented new honing process that produces the
smoothest Gillette razor-blade edges now possible.

It’s the result of a technological breakthrough that uses ultrasonic energy
to smooth the blade edge after it’s sharpened and honed by conventional
methods. And what it means to you is a smooth, safe, comfortable twin-
blade shave.

For Gillette TRAC II users Microsmooth blades mean a smoother shave.
And for ATRA users Microsmooth Hates plus the pivoting head give you
Gillette’s best shave.

But just because new Micro-
smooth twin blades give
outstanding shaves, don’t
think we’ve stopped trying
to make them better.

After all, we’ve got a
promise to keep.

Try new Gillette Microsmooth twin blades.

elected by the U.S. Olympic Committee.

ТНЕ

TECHNOLOGICA
JAPANESE IMPOR

The ten little i imp Orts you see
here offer a comi Bud total of
utility and technology you're
not going to find on other
Japanese imports.

BESTTHING FOR ENGINES -
SINCE HIGH COMPRESSION.

The Mitsubishi Clean Air

engine is a pure чаша
jewel. It
comes

efficient fuel dendum

ABOVE-AVERAGE ESTIMATES.

MILEAGE CHART | EST. MPG*

Champ Custom &
Colt Custom Hatchback

Colt 2- & 4-doors

Colt wagon

Arrow GT Hatchback ——

| Challenger & Sapporo

D-50 &

Arrow Sport pickups

ТЕРА estimates. Use this number for comparisons.
Your mileage may vary depending on speed, trip
length, and weather. California estimates lower for
Champ Custom and Colt Custom Hatchback, Colt
two-and four-doors, D-50and Arrow Sport pees

SLICK NEW TWIN-STICK.

See that little lever at the left?

3
Use it to select either PERFOR- #4

range. Then shift gears
n the lever at the

ead Kind of like two

four-speeds in one. It's

BUILT BY

exclusive on our new Champ
andl Cs Hatchback.

four wheels on the optional 2.6
liter Basic Package models.

SAYGOOD-BYE
TOTHE SHAKES. —

Sis Shaft design (an MCA

-. engine exclusive) gives
you two counter-
rotating shafts to
help dampen the
vibrations

WS? expected ofa

normal four-cylinder engine.

ALITTLE SOPHISTICATION
. NEVERHURTS.

Our Challenger and ра
СТ offer power discs on all

PLYMOUTH ARROWSPORT PICKUP

SOME UP-FRONT THINKING
ON ROOM AND RIDE.

Champ and Colt Hatchback
are front-wheel-driven. The
engine is placed transversely to
ermit more economic use of

interior ,
space. Тһе, hf CA
track is р :
wideto (Î
help in the Ж
corners. And

LLY ADVANCED
TS YOU CAN BUY.

MAKING’EM EASIER
TO DRIVE.

This much-desired automatic
speed control option is also
available when you ad
select our Colt "4 1
wagon, á
Challenger,
or Sapporo with the optional
A) 2-6 liter engine and

y{ automatic transmission.
J^ Standard driving
equipment also
| includes such gems as
J adjustable steering
“column (a rarity among other
imports) and trip odometer.

DODGE COLT WAGON

DODGE & CHRYSLER / PLYMO

NO CHARGE FOR HANDLING.

Independent rear suspension on

features, adjustable headrests
built into seat, and walk-in
passenger seat “memory”

Cham E Colt Hatchback adjuster feature.
is the kind of technology = = i
you find on Mercedes or CERA E

MW. In addition, : st: = е2
MacPherson-type struts "They're specially designed for
Guan "Colt Hatchback, American-size folks and jobs.
Challenger, and Sapporo. уйна опе: ЈЕ т
__THE COMPLETE SEAT. Ше -y

(NN Seats on Challenger and
a Sapporoare orthopedic
marvels. They
= lateral and
adjustable lumbar
support, recliner

offer

Ye
0

DODGE D-SO.
SPORT PICKUP

you'd like more, see the Sport
model with an interior that
looks like tomorrow’s sports
саг. And the biggest engine in its
class with its 2.6 liter four.
“..MORE TRICKS THAN
ASWISS ARMY KNIFE"
"That's what Car and Driver
magazine says ofour Champ
= апа Colt Hatchback.
. And why not.
) "They're full of
ae engineerin:
Ё and REI: fee
tures like пе
Stick,” front-wheel drive, and
transverse engine.

CHRYSLER

YOU HAVEN'T SHOPPED
IMPORTS
UNTILYOU'VE SEEN US.

UTH DEALERS.

PLAYBOY

‘Taste perfection. Frangelico.
Aprecious liqueur created from
wild hazelnuts delicately blended
with berries and herbs.

‘Taste Frangelico. A liqueur so
subtle, so exqui itely different.

a flavor that's unexpected
and intriguing. Taste Frangelico
tonight. And experience perfection.

fraudes ЛЕ

л mor
Mese AE mm О

dui iom d matore and ер печ isse
ЖЭ alc te сизи man] rigid ipeo erii

seas a дагог rade fon tot
мода, сдри oe wet
reli wee enrich tix finest

Frangelico liqueur 56 Proof. Imported by William Grant & Sons, Inc., New York, N.Y.

and pretentious something else. Dogs
gnawing at human bodies might be justi-
fied. A woman who sits quietly toasting
her hand over an open fire might be jus-
tified, 105 harder to justify such lines
s "Hope is an obsolete word" or “The
earth is the cradle of the mind, but you
can't live in the cradle forever." What-
ever that means.

Filmed at Frobisher Bay and amid the
ruins of Montreal’s Expo, Quintet has the
visual trappings of a terrific film. Yet it
doesn’t work, as a doomsday suspense
as science-fiction or a
work Orange frieze. Gameschmame. This
time around, Altman craps out.

FILM CLIPS

The Toy: Pierre Richard, well remem-
bered as The Tall Blond Man with One
Black Shoe, portrays a desperate journal-
ist, taken home as a flesh-and-blood play-
thing on the whim of a rotten little rich
kid whose indulgent father the financial
tycoon will not say no to him. Of course,
Richard exudes bumptious innocence,
charms the child, then tames him, prov-
ing that love will find a way where wealth
and power are futile. Writer-director
Francis Vebers heart-warming human
comedy, with subtitles, loses nothing in
translation—ir's sticky as a melted gum-
drop, even if you don't understand
French.

On the Yar Raphael D. Silver, who
produced Hester Street (directed by his
wife, Joan Micklin Silver), turns to di-
recting (with his missis as producer) and
shows а lot of savvy in a searing slicc-of-
life drama about men behind bars. The
politics of survival in prison is a familiar
film subject, but Silver handles it expert
ly, and jailhouse jousting always seems to
provide an ideal proving ground for
young actors. Here, Tom Waites and
John Heard score as most promising in
a uniformly fine cast.

Just Crazy About Horses: Tammy Grimes
supplies the tongue-in-check narration
for a splendidly wacky film about the
filthy-rich or merely fanatical people who
are the backbone of the so-called horsy
set. Most claim impeccable WASPish
bloodlines and Jong acquaintance with
the Mellons and the Phippses. One
grande dame explains how she inherited
her breeding farm: “My father gave it
to me as a hedge against Franklin D.
Roosevelt.” There's riding to the hounds,
steeplechase races and much, much
more, including an explicit sex se-
quence (not X-rated, that'd be vulgar)
between a thoroughbred stud and a filly
in heat. Co-authors, coproducers, codirec-
tors Tim Lovejoy and Joe Wempl
er a privileged American minority and
add just a dash of bitters. Move over,
Equus. No fictional fantasy about the
divine lunacy of getting high on horse-
flesh can quite compare with the real

ew-

thing, —REVIEWS BY BRUCE WILLIAMSON

FM MONO
TUN -3$ STEREO
AM

VOLUME

PUSH RADIO у
PULL BALANCE

YOU DON'T HAVE TO PUNCH IT
TO GET GREAT SOUND.

Just barely touch it. dial wrestling or knob punching.

And Shazam!
The KE-2000 all-electronic
Supertuner® Car Stereo with

cassette deck plucks your favor-

ite station from its memory.

No clunky buttons. No
moving parts.

Instead theres an LED
electronic pointer display and
random access memory at
your fingertips. Ready to do
all the mental and manual
fine-tuning for you.

In all, the KE-2000 com-
mits 10 stations to memory.

An intelligence matched
only by its great
FM ability.

It makes
weak, muddy
FM, strong and
clean.

Not through

SUPE

But with great specs.

A useable sensitivity of 1.1
microvolts (12 dBf), twice the
pulling power of ordinary car
tuners. А 74 dB selectivity. A
1.7 dB capture ratio. A dual gate
FET And FM muting, to elimi-
nate noise between stations.

Pair this up with a pair of
our TS-X6 speakers, and you
get great sound, all-around.

What's even better, it's
Pioneer.

One of the world's most
respected audio manufacturers.

Prove it to yourself.

Getin touch
with the KE-2000
atyour Pioneer
dealer.

And find great
FM by hardly
J lifting a finger.

R SYSTEMS BY PIONEER:

X RATED

hn Belushi, of all people, supplied the
el fears and created the character of a
19-year-old Perfect Master (his name is
Craig, he's from Champaign-Urbana, Illi-
nois, and he arrives on a flying carpet)
for Shame of the Jungle, an X-rated апі.
mated cartoon feature. Made by Belgian
artist Picha in 1975, the movie carries
a provocative string of additional credits.
Michael O'Donoghue contributed some
dialog, which may explain why Shame
often sounds like a blue movie swiftly
expunged from Saturday Night Live.
In fact, its title was Tarzoon and several
other things (Noozrat, for example) until
the estate of Edgar Rice Burroughs took
legal action to prevent use of the name,
though court maneuyers could not pre-
vent the hero's voice from being dubbed.
by John: Jr, son of the
most famous screen Tarzan of them all.
Thus, we encounter a titular swinger
called Shame, a dirty-minded, timorous
runt who lives in the wildern: here
the Web of Life is spun from cheaper
thread”) with his sexy mate, June, and a
lewd chimp named Flicka. Villainess of
the piece is Queen Bazonga, a bald-pated
goddess with 14 breasts who wants June's
strawberryblonde scalp because "Im
gonna enslave mankind tomorrow . . .
and I'm bald." June is kidnaped by the
queen's phallus guard, a goon squad of
litde pricks who subdue their enemies
by ejaculation. The Burroughs legal
eagles described Shame as “grotesque, dis-
tasteful and vulgar." No argument there.
"They forgot to mention that the artwork
is superior, the film as a whole becoming
monotonous after a good start—still, in
its off-the-wall category, the most literate,
prurient and amusing challenge to com-
munity standards since Fritz the Cat.
е
In The China Cot, a wicked quartet of
ladies known as Charlie's Devils pursues
John C. Holmes as private investigator
Johnny Wadd, who has the objet d'art
they're after. References to The Maltese
Falcon are inescapable, though the dif-
ference between Cat and the classic is
that the John Huston—Dashiell Ham-
mett original did not have to reckon
with — Holmess celebrated 13-inch
schlong. Such an awesome appendage
tends to overshadow shedevils jade
pussycats, script, plot, dialog and every-
thing else on the screen. Holmes ap-
pears to be one of the more competent
actors in porno while wearing trousers,
but he habitually upstages himself by
taking them off. The women who sub-
mit to his mighty sword (anally, on one
occasion) look passable and compliant,
though they are not creatures to ех

49 cite man's wildest fantasies. And isn't

Jungle Shame.

Tarzan he ain't, but
Shame is a real jungle
swinger; Johnny Wadd

rips off The Maltese

Falcon; and porno

discovers pro cheerleaders.

China Cat: Hammett on wry.

that supposed to be the whole point?
Holmcsian hard-core seems more likely
to arouse penis envy in a straight male
audience, but maybe greedy gals and
gay libbers are getting off on it. Some-
body must be.

Debbie Does Dallas features blonde
Bambi Woods as a girl who is slated to
join a group of professional cheerleaders
called The Texas Cowgirls. The makers
of Debbie may have missed the flash (or
missed _pLaynoy's December 1978 issue)
that there's a real live group of Cowgirls;
they also bill Bambi as a 1976 Dallas
checrleader, "the first Dallas Cowgirl ever
t0 appear in мей film." We cannot

vouch for Bambi's cheerleading creden-
tials, though from here she looks like а
sccondcstring Marilyn Chambers. On
film, the Cowgirls (like, we understand,
some of the N.F.L. teams that hire their
real-life counterparts) apparently don't
pop for travel expenses, so Debbie and
her high school chums decide to hustle
up bus fare—and that means hustle. The
hustling triggers a series of standard
fuck-and-suck episodes that are nothing
to cheer about.

Someone billed Susannah French in
the title role The Other Side of Julie,
though the real star of this lusty epic is
John Leslie, playing Julie's husband,
Mike—an accomplished con artist who
pretends to be a tired businessman by
night. He comes home tired, certainly.
But by day, Mike drives a Rolls-Royce
and cruises the city in search of well-to-do
women he can pick up and swindle out
of their cash or jewels. The thieving stud
works out of an office, calling his firm
Stag Enterprises. Mike ultimately gets his
just deserts, but he also gets laid a lot
before the game is up (a cl
iar porn actress named
plays the victim who turns the tables).
Other Side of Julie clearly depicts woman
as the smarter sex in a flick with enough
plot twists and unbuttoned bawdiness to
fill a vintage Restoration comedy. Noth-
ing spectacular, understand. But consid-
ering the garbage generally offered to
pornophiles, it's the pick of the litter.

Whether to remarry for love or for
money is the problem faced by lush
Lesllie Bovee as Rita, the often-married
heroine of Misbehavin’, a professional
playgirl who already has lots of alimor
to keep her warm. Director Chuck Vi
cent's porno farce features a special guest.
appearance by Jack Wrangler, a super-
star of gay films, in his debut as a switch-
er. Lesllie, of course, is the kind of
every closet heterosexual hopes to
find. Among the swains offering her head
n bed and their hands in marriage are
Eric Edwards and professional stunt man
Sonny Landham, though the real gim-
mick of Misbehavin’ is a running gag
about two unearthly characters called
‘The Angel and The Devil (Kurt Mann
and Dick Gallan), who are both ready to
bet on Rita. You can bet on Misbehavin’
as clegantly produced porno with hand-
some people and a poolside orgy that
a virtual flood of wet shots. As sophisti-
cated sex comedy, which it often tries to
be, the movie is arch and overacted, and
short on wit—visually a pleasure, verbally
a dry hump. —s.w.

Discover
Arctic Lights

-more menthol refreshment than
ther low'tar'cigarette.

anyo

Full menthol refreshment. That's what
ARCTIC LIGHTS delivers.

A very special kind of menthol refresh-
ment you just won't find in any other low
‘tar’ menthol cigarette.

You see, while the filter holds back ‘tar,’

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

the unique new ARCTIC LIGHTS men-
thol blend comes right through. Result?
You get the iciest, brightest taste in men-
thol smoking—puff after puff. Light up
your first ARCTIC LIGHTS. You just
won’t believe it’s a low ‘tar’ menthol.
ArcticLights: Kings &100's

9 mg. "tar", 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method.

PLAYBOY

If you took a roll of 35mm film to
Fotomat for developing, youd get

back a 34 x 5 print.
And youd really like it.

If you took that roll to Fotomat for
our new Series 35 developing, youd
get back a big 4 x 6 print.

And youd really, really like it.

JUCING
; SHOIS

Custom Series 35.
Not just bigger. Better.

Our special Series 35 color print is
not only 3776 bigger than our terrific
regular-size print. It’s better, too.

How do we make it better than
terrific? By taking a little longer And
charging a little more.

Heres what you get:

Our most experienced photo-
finishers, in a separate section of our
own Fotomat processing labs, use all
their skills to produce a perfect nega-

tive. Then painstakingly print every

detail and nuance.

The result is a 35mm print with
brilliant color and clarity. Optimum
contrast and density. And a borderless
studio or glossy finish that's definitely
the finishing touch.

No matter what kind of photog-
rapher you are, Series 35 gives you just
what you need.

If you're an expert, Series 35 will
make it more obvious.

FESSIONAL T a:
PRO

کر

If you're not an expert, Series 35
will do something equally valuable.
Make it less obvious.

FOTOMAT. SÈ {

hen it comes to music, PLAYBOY

readers are unpredictable. Witness
their choice of Steely Den as best rock
group in this year’s Music Poll (for com-
plete results, sce The Year in Music,
April).

This isn't to say that there aren't
abundant reasons for plucking the Dan
out of the hog swill that’s been glutting
the airwaves these past 12 months. On
the contrary, it only confirms the judg-
ment of those folks who've watched it
develop through six albums into one
of the most eccentrically original Ameri-
can bands of the Seventies.

It wasn't the hard-core fans, though,
who bought 2,000,000 copies of the Aja
LP, as well as the singles off it and off the
FM sound track, and this jump from cult
to largescale popularity is one of the
most gratifying events of the past ycar.
Especially when you consider that Steely
Dan isn't really a group in the usual
sense, comprised as it is of only two
people, Walter Becker and Donald
Fagen, who between them compose all
the lyrics and music, play bass, gu
and keybo: g the Ісай vocals.

Becker and surfaced їп New
York recently, agi
to talk about ee, a jazz LP they

Apo
produced, featuring the Pete Christlieb/

Wame Marsh Quintet, as well as an
rtifact called Steely Dan [Greatest Hits.
They also, it turned. out, were looking
for what Becker termed “digs” in the city.

“Dips?” Fagen said 9 Шу. “Digs
are what you have in college.”

“All right, a pad then,” Becker replied.

"No, not a pad, Donald,” producer
Gary Каш added thoughtfully. "What
you m pied-à-terre. You sce, if
vou have a home in L.A. and ап apart-
ment in New York, it’s allel"

“Earth foot, Thats what I'm looking
for, an carth foot in New York,” Becker
concluded.

Greatest Hits, which contains their
most popular tunes [rom Do И Again
and Reelin’ in the Years to Peg and
Josie, is filled out with a good selection
of some of the harder rocking cuts from
the earlier LPs. In contrast, Aja received
a lot of attention from critics who heard
even more elements of jazz in it than in
the Dan's earlier work.

“There was a lot of reaction from rock-
‘noll people who picked up on what

considered to be jazz ‚шшш in
Aja,” Fagen апела"
occur to us when we were а
certainly wasn't intended to be апу sort

of a fusion of music, or crossover thing.”
“We look for mu:
Becker explained,

ns who can solo,”
nd most of those
musicians who can solo with any sort of
thought involved—on the saxophone, at

least—are jazz musicians. The fact is the

Dan's Becker, Fagen.

A talk with the boys

in Steely Dan; classy

stuff from five female
jazz musicians.

Now's the Timel: all good women.

album crossed over into a younger audi-
ence who hadn't been buying our albums
previously

The inevitable question of when, it
ever, they planned to put together a
performing band again was met with
resigned bemusement.

“We really should have a stock answer
to that question,” Fagen told Becker

"I heard," Katz offered, between bites
of his second meal in a half hour, “that
the average rock group gocs on tow
twice a year: in that case, I guess we're
nine tours behind.”

~ Just say we're working on it,
added.

“Actually, we're assembling our ward
robes right now,” Fagen said, “for the
various climatic conditions and social
Occasions you encounter on the road.
That should take forever, with fashions
changing as quickly as they are.”

Becker looked at his shoes. “Yeah, we're
still wearing our duds from around 1971.”

— MARK VON LEHMDEN
.

We have the uneasy fecling this is

going to read like а sexist review, but, so

Beck

help us, Betty Friedan, that's not what
we have in mind. The problem is that
the five musicians on Now's rhe Time!
(Halcyon) are female and when we try to
make the point that the recording is a
fine piece of work, there's no way we can

avoid the fact th: s women doing that
Neandertha

work. If there are any

around who still think that the ladies
can't hack it in jazz, let them pay heed
and then crawl back into their caves. The

sesion—made up of first-rate jazz and
pop classics—was recorded live in Roch
ester, New York, a couple of years ago
id the players are Marian McPartland,
n0; Vi Redd, alto sax; Mary Osborne,
Lynn Milano, bass; and Dottie

ited and sensitive by turm, and the solo
of a high order. And no, we're
not going to say they sound just like men:
sound just Tike what they are—
excellent musicians,

Who would have thought? Who would
have thought? He has the stage presence
and aspect of a Buddy Holly qua
through а psychotic attack, Ніз ni
sounds as if it had been cooked up on
Saturday Night Live. But Elvis Costello
has become one of the most important
true rockers of the waning Seventies—if
not in almighty platinum dollars, ccr-
tainly in terms of freshness and talent.
And he shows no signs of running out of
steam. Armed Forces (Columbia), his third
album, is right there with the first two.
Tt was, like the others, produced by some-
time Rockpiler Nick Lowe. The produc-
tion is lusher than previously, but the
sound still maintains that edge that de
fines Costello's music. The lyrics are sharp
and imagistic (“Two litle Hitlers will
fight it out till / One little Hitler does the
other one's will"). Our main complaint
about the album, in fact, is that some of
the vocals mixed too low to һе:
clearly, even through headphones, which
is а waste, given how good they are. No
bbers here, but after a few
times through. you'll find chunks of it
jumping unbidden into your brain—and
you won't mind a bit,

Jim Morrison's brief reign as the
demon prince of rock ‘n’ roll ended with
his death Paris im 1971. By then, his
orgiastic performances had gotten him
banned or busted in most of the 0. 5.
There was no doubt of his ability to
sell out any hall in the country, but
almost no booking agent would touch
him for fear of a raid by the local police.
His death produced floods of pontifica-
tion on the way the rock life destroys
its children and took the heart out of
a remarkable band called The Doors.
Elektra records ing a major effort

МО RUM REFLECTS
PUERTO RICO LIKE RONRICO.

Puerto Rico is the Rum Island, the world's foremost

rum-producing region. And Ronrico is the rum— authentic 1 RONI TAO вото ANY.
Puerto Rican rum since 1860. Ronrico's smooth, light taste > амуу. PUERTO RICO + BOP
has been the pride of six generations of Puerto Rican rum
p 9 2 r — ,

masters. One sip will tell you why. t
RONRICO: AUTHENTIC RUM OF PUERTO RICO.

General Wine & Spirits Co., N.Y.C. 45

PLAYBOY

to revive the myth—and the sales—with
an album whose-full title is An American
Prayer, Jim Mortison, Music by The Doors. It
features bits of live performance from
the glory days interspersed with Morri-
son's readings of his own poetry backed
by music The Doors recorded especially
for this post-mortem album. The whole
necrophiliac effort goes to prove that The
Doors are still a hell of а rock-n-roll
band, that Morrison wrote and sang
some great songs and that he might have
become a poet if he had lived.
.

Apparently feeling that they've ex-
hausted the possibilities of both earthly
and interplanetary funk on their previ-
ous albums, шеш and George Clin-
ton, their irrepressible idea man, go
underwater for Motor Booty Affair (Casa-
blanca). Schools of foolfsh—playing
hooky, of course—swim by as Mr. Wig-
gles, the submarine decjay, broadcasis
from beautiful downtown Atlantis. It's a
unique and crazy idea—who else but the
Swiftian Mr. Clinton could have con-
ceived itz—and it's brought off with great
musical aplomb by this gang of Cali-
fornia soul crazies (who, truth to tell, had
been sounding a bit peaked lately. The
synthesizer work on Liquid Sunshine is
alone worth the price of the LP.

.
notwithstanding,

Reservations the

doorman at the fancy French restaurant
does not wish to admit the party, be-
cause Ric Wilson is wearing blue jeans.
The lady from the record company ar-
gues that if they had a dress code, they
should have mentioned it earlier. Claude
“Coffee” Cave merely protests, with char-
acteristic irony, that his friend is а
doctor.

He could have said "rock star"; Wil-
son hasn't practiced. medicine since he
left his internship a decade ago and
succumbed to the lures of music. That
was when the Panamanian-born, New
York-raised Wilson brothers—Ric, Louis,
Carlos and Wilfredo—joined forces with.
Cave, a Brooklynite whose father's
people came from the Caribbean; they
found a few additional musicians with
an ad in the Village Voice, started work-
ing as Mandril and, in three months,
scored a recording contract.

Since then, the band has moved from
New York to Los Angeles, changed record
labels twice and changed the additional
players a few times, too. While never
quite breaking into superstardom, the
brothers have survived, even thrived
Mandrill now travels as an I1-piece band,
with most of the players multiinstru-
mentalists; this gives them great flexibil-
ity and allows for dramatic switches of
sound. One moment, Mandrill has a six-
piece, Kentonish horn section; the next
moment, it’s an African rhythm un

then it’s а doo-wop group from Brooklyn.
The absence of special effects is notable;
as Ric says, “The performers and the
music are the drama.” Through it all, the
core of the group—the Wilson brothers
and Coffee, so nicknamed for his café
au lait complexion—has stayed the same.

They are now with Arista Records,
and Coffee and Rie are in Chicago to
ballyhoo their new LP, New Worlds, a
collection of peppery soul /jazz grooves
with mucho salsa (“We pride ourselves
in being pioneers in that direction,” says
Ric). More articulate than most mem-
bers of their trade, and better-humored
than many, they easily entertain a room-
ful of record-company, radio-station,
magazine and management people as
they wait for room service to deliver
what they couldn't get in the restaurant.
There is a lot of inside-the-record-busi-
ness conversation, about Johnny Math-
is’ farm and the changes Dionne's been
through; Coffee recalls sparring onstage
with Miles during a Fillmore light show
and the night his mother, in order to s
her son at a concert in New York, had to
talk her way past the guards James
Brown had stationed backstage.

And when the monkey-suited room-
service waiter finally brings dinner, Ric
Wilson politely tells him, “Hey—you
can't come in here with a tuxedo on!”

Justice is served. —CARL PHILIP SNYDER

When racquetball

becomes more

Voi

Santa Ana, California 92704

е racquet is AMF Voit's Impact One™ The ball is our Rollout*
Bleu. If you're good, you already know that. If you're just
starting, send us $2 and we'll send you a sample ball and

SACI CISC.

a copy of our booklet, RACQUETBALL FOR WINNERS.

A good pair of boots called Wrangler.

© To live in, Depend on, Enjoy
Wemakesomein з,
«Ji the tradition of the
I Old Westand others A}
for "um new traditions. ind a

| ZA
2880 MA

= = Ii 4

b | mM.

Wrangler Boots

P.O. Box 60485, Nashville, Tenn. 37206.

BOOKS

Obert Ludlum's latest thriller and
guaranteed best seller, The Mararese
Circle (Richard Marek), has the momen-
tum of a connect-the-dots draving. The
dots are the usual assortment of inventive
homicides, rapes, tortures, etc. The pic-
ture that is finally assembled is that of a
sinister organization of for-hire assassins
devoted to conquering the world. A
dying Russian general sounds the alarm
“Hear me out. There is a timetable, but
to speak of it would be to acknowledge
the past; none dare do that! Moscow by
assassination, Washington by political
maneuver, murder, if necessary. Two
months, three at the outside; everything
is in motion now. Action and г n
has been tested at the highest levels, un-
known men positioned at the centers of
power. Soon it will happen, and when it
docs, we are consumed. We are de-
stroyed, subjects of the Matarese.” The
top Russian agent teams up with his
counterpart from the American side to
foil the plot. Who are these devilishly
clever Matarese? Ex-Nazis? No. Ludlum
has come up with a new villain—your
friendly local multinational corporation.
If David Rockefeller reads this, we could
be in big trouble.

In Shana Alexander's account of the
Patty Hearst trial, Anyone's Daughter (Vi-
king), we have for the first time in one
place the minutiae of the decade's most
bizarre court case. Alexander quotes rich-
ly from court documents and interviews
she conducted and provides appropriate
biographical score cards for all the play
ers. Unfortunately, she also dunks up
this tapestry with too many of her skinny
liberal assessments of what Patty's trial
means to America. Alexander has all the
proper outrage to cover that trial; her
heart is the national blood donor for all
the Camelot causes. But she never really
gets to talk with Patty herself, And that's
one reason we will have to wait a while
for a rigorous explanation of Patty's dis-
turbing story.

John Marks, in The Search for the Man-
churian Candidate (Times Books), has con-
structed a chilling history of the CIA's
wo behavioral psychological research
from documents released to him under
the Freedom of Information Act. This is
one of the most important books of the
year. In it, we learn some of our Gov-
ernments efforts in mind-control ex-
periments from World War Two to the
present. We see the CIA on the cutting
edge of inquiry into hypnosis, drugs,
brainwashing, personality assessment,
psychosurgery, electric and radio stimula-
tion of the brain, the creation of

Matarese: Ludlum's at it again.

Multinationals form a
vicious Circle; politics
becloud Patty's story.

Anyone's Daughter: Just the facts, Shans.

involuntary amnesia, terminal shock
therapy. We sce our universities and
foundations and hospitals and prisons
supplying cover and subjects for those
experiments. Marks examines the
MKULTRA and ARTICHOKE pro-
grams in detail, discussing such glories
as the research of Dr, D. Ewen Cameron,
the C psychiatrist who put his
patients through isolation, high doses of
electroshock and drugs to wipe out mem-
ory—with funding and support, un-
beknownst to him, coming from a CIA
front, the Society for the Investigation
of Human Ecology. (Indeed, the list of
people and institutions that Marks re-
veals cooperated with or were co-opted
by the CIA in one way or another
frightening; among them were Carl
Rogers, B. F. Skinner, Edwin Land,

Ша

Charles Osgood, Adolph А. Berle, Martin
Orne, The Education Testing Service of
Princeton and Cornell University.) Con
sistently ahead of its time, the agency was
arching Mexican mushrooms, LSD,
African witch doctors, the genetic code,
stereotaxic surgery and other subjects that
our sleepy popular imaginations believed
were too exotic to discuss seriously.

In 1973, the CIA destroyed many
of the key documents relating to its
behavioral-control experiments. Marks,
after much effort, could get his hands
on only seven boxes of files. But, through
interviews and good investigative report-
ing, he has handed us a record that helps
us understand our vulnerability to r
nipulation and control. Read this book
before they snatch your brain,

The time will come, presumably, when
Ameri will look back on the days of
marijuana prohibition the way they look
back on the days of liquor prohibition
and shake their heads in wonder that the
country could have engaged in such a
long and costly folly. Larry Sloman's
Reefer Madness (Bobbs-Merrill) is the first
such backward look, Billed as “the first
popular social history of marijuana use
in America,” Recfer expertly and enter-
tainingly charts the course of the killer
weed from Colonial hemp crops to the
present proliferation of pot as the big
gest underground industry since bootleg
booze. The moral of the story is clear:
When it comes to Government efforts to
save us from ourselves, history continual-
ly repeats itself.

The first thing that strikes you about
Kingsley Amis’ new novel, Joke's Thing
(Viking), is that it is fastidiously English
The prose is meticulous, the characters
fully drawn, the humor wry and dry. But
the problem it deals with Чу re-
stricted to the British. Jake Richardson—
59, an Oxford don—is having problems
getting it up with his wile, Brenda.
He goes to a sex specialist, an Irishman
named Rosenberg, who undertakes to
revitalize Jake's waning sex life with
“nongenital sensate-focusing sessions," а
nocturnal mensurator" (a ghastly elec
trical gadget that marks erections when at-
tached to a penis) and, finally, group
meetings in which Jake has to—literal-
ly—expose himself.

Amis, we sense, can barely keep his
droll English humor under wraps when
he is having fun with our decade's pre-
occupation with sex and therapy. But he
does, and Jake's Thing, Amis’ 13th novel,
is a masterpiece of understatement with
a satirical cutting edge honed to a fine
rpness.

Ж COMING ATTRACTIONS x

pot Gossip: Why NBG decided to pro-

duce a telefilm remake of From Here
to Eternity was mystifying cnough, but
now word has it that network execs
are so thrilled by the project they've de-
cided to order it for a series. Expect to
find it in your listings for the 1979-1980
TV season. . . . There will be a sequel to
Movie Movie, “a continuation of the
basic format but probably not the same
characters" one source tells me. Ap-
parently, the decision to make a sequel
was made prior to the original's re-
lease. . . . Carl Reiner has been set to direct
The Jerk, starring Steve Martin and
Steve's current love, Bernadet fers...
Jacqueline Bisset has been signed for a star-

McQueen

Bisset

ring role in Irwin Allen's The Day the
World Ended, the story of a volcanic
eruplion in the South Seas. Paul Newman
and William Holden co-star. . . . Walt Dis-
ney Productions will rerelease the classic
animated feature Lady and the Tramp
next Christmas. . . . Steve McQueen's next
film project will be Taipan, based on
Jomes (Shogun) Clevel's epic novel.
The flick is budgeted at $25,000,000,
$3,000,000 of which will go to Steve. . ..
If you're an avid watcher of Saturday
Night Live, you're familiar with the work
of Gary Weis. Gary has been signed by
Paramount to direct The Serial, based on
Суга McFadden's book on life in Marin
County. .. . Paramount has also signed
Rolling Stone editor/publisher Jann
Wenner, 31, to produce three films with
youth-oriented themes.
.

Pocino

LEGAL y interested
but unwilling to commit himsclf when
director Norman Jewison approached him
with the lead role in his latest produc-

tion, . . . And Justice for All. So Jewison
took his writers, Barry Levinson and Volerie
Curtin, to New York and staged an un-
precedented before-the-deal-is-made read-
ing for Pacino, using good, solid New
York actors. After two readings, Pacino,
wild with enthusiasm, signed without
hesitation to portray an idealistic young
Baltimore attorney, who uses his talent
and sense of humor to fight a bizarre and
frightening legal system. “Al usually has
played neurotic characters, as in Dog
Day Afiernoon and The Godfather. But
he's playing the most sane character in
this film,” says Jewison.

DYNAMIC puo: What happens when an
eccentric CIA agent involves an unsus-
pecting middle-class New York dentist in
a scheme to thwart a South American
dictators attempt to undermine the
world economy? Beats me, but it sounds.
like fun, anyway, especially with Peter
Folk playing the agent and Alon Arkin as
the dentist. The two are teamed for the
first time in Warner Bros.’ The In-Laws,
and from what J gather, the combination
seems to be working out just fine.
Says Falk about Arkin: “A week after
I saw Alan in The Russians Are Com-
ing . . . I caught his performance of

Arkin and Falk

Rumpelstiliskin in a parade in Pough-
keepsie and wanted to work with him. It
was cinched two years later, when I saw
Little Murders, which he directed. He
was playing a comb and singing in an
alley next to the theater. He has a lovely
voice. You know, he started out as a pro-
fessional singer with a group called The
Terriers. Had a hit record, too. Sold a
million copies." Arkin’s rebuttal: “I
never heard of Peter before this film. His
father had a dry-goods store in Ossining,
New York. I used to buy things there.
His father made me promise, if I ever
made it big, to do something for his son
So I'm just doing a favor for the father.
Does the partnership have a future be-
yond In-Laws? “Peter and I have talked
about opening a little key shop іп Уег-
mont,” says Arkin. “It was Peter's idea.
No matter how bad things get, people
will always need keys. I'm set on putting
in a wing for light bulbs and toilet

paper. No matter what happens to the
economy, we'll be set.”
.
wuroness: I'd been hearing rumors
from a number of my sources that come-
dian Andy Kaufman was spending his spare
time working as a bus boy at a Holly-

Kaufman

wood eatery called The Posh Bagel.
Sounded preposterous enough to check
out, so I did; sure enough, there was
Andy, aproned and scurrying around,
cleaning off tables, emptying ashtrays,
etc. Apparently, he does it (every Mon-
day night starting at 11 р.м.) not to
bounce new shtick off the customers but
because . . . well . . . he likes it. You
figure it out. But the weirdness doesn't
stop there. I hear Kaufman is currently
trying to get a record company to record
him and his grandmother singing a ren-
dition of Row, Row, Row Your Boat. So.
far, there've been no takers.
.

HISTORY LESSON: Mel Brooks has finally
decided definitely on his next film proj-
ect. Bombs Away and Galactic Mishegas
have lost out, at least for the time being,
to The History of the World, Part I (cer-
tainly a title with a built-in sequel). The
flick will cover the period from pre-
Stone Age years to the French Revolu-
tion, with Brooks starring in several roles.
(Among other things, Brooks plans to

Brooks

choreograph a Spanish Inquisition dun-
geon scene à la Busby Berkeley, complete
with singing, dancing, beatings and tor-
ture.) Gene Wilder will not appear in this
one, but he and Brooks are reportedly
talking about reteaming in a comic,
black-and-white remake of Dr. Jekyll and
Mr. Hyde. — JOHN BLUMENTHAL

andlebars. When you're
Itopped, feet solidly on the
round thanks to the low-
lung saddle. But reality out-

mous futuristic technology
las been matched to the rad-

Iways wear a helmet and
уе protection. Model availa-

londa Motor Co.. Inc., Dept.
L59CXC. Box 50. Gardena.
“A 90247. For your nearest
onda dealer please see the
'ellow Pages. O 1979 AHM.

TURE FEVER.

It starts the first time you see
the new Honda CX500 Cus-
tom. Pulse quickens. Palms
begin to sweat. Fantasies are
born. No wonder. Just by the
way й looks you can imagine
yourself looking good on it.
Comfort cruising on the high-
way with those laid-back

ical new styling. You'll feel the
remarkable smoothness of the
shaft drive and the exciting
power of that 496 сс V-twin
engine. Performance to raise
your fever even higher. The
new СХ500 Custom. You can
catch it at your local Honda
motorcycle dealer right now.

CUSTOM

ONDA
GOING STRONG!

Liquid Velvet.

There are a lot of whiskies out

there. Straights. Blends. Canadians.

^ But none can give you the excep-

¬ tional feel of Black Velvet® Canadian

і Whisky. А premium import at a very
же; Den cases reasonable price.

Try Black Velvet. And taste the

Velvet difference.

THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

SSome years ago, my wife was hired
by a company requiring that she have
a physical examination before starting
her new employment. Since the com-
pany doctors office was some distance
from our home, I volunteered to drive
there and take her out to dinner after-
ward. She was apparently the last pa-
tient for the night and after a short
wait, she was called into an inner office,
About ten minutes later, I felt a call of
nature and went looking for a rest room.
Upon entering, I found that the doc-
tors w.c. had two doors, one a m:
entrance and the other connecting with
the examining room. That one was
slightly ajor. My first thought was to
close the door and go about my business,
when 1 looked through the crack and saw
my wife getting undressed to put on a
hospital gown. I had never seen my wife
undress without her knowing about it;
the thought of secretly doing so and of
her now-naked body prompted me to
look on. Only minutes after she had the
gown on, the doctor came into the room
and began a complete physical exami-
nation, During the next half hour, I
watched as he had her par
the gown for some things a
ly remove it for others. Throughout the
examination, the doctor acted serious
and completely professional. I, however,
was extremely turned on watching him
examine my wife's naked breasts, have
her strip down for X rays and lie with
her legs spread for her vaginal examina-
tions. It has been eight years since this
incident, and although 1 occasionally
think about it, I have never told my wife
what happened. I would, however, like
to have another such experience, since
it was one of the most stimulating tha
I can remember. My questions are these:
Do I һауе more than normal voyeuristic
tendencies, or are there some people who
get extremely turned on by watching a
doctor perform a routine examination
on a woman? Is there any reason why
a doctor should not want a -patient's
husband present during consultationz—
D. T., Springfield, Massachusetts.

Your fantasy is surprisingly common.
(How else can you account for the popu-
larity of “Marcus Међу") A few years
ago, we heard of an erotic hotel where
couples could rent various fantasy rooms
and video-lape themselves making love
in a Polynesian setting, a space capsule,
a torture chamber, whatever. One of the
sellings was a Victorian doctor's office,
with an antique examining table. On sec-
ond thought, maybe your fantasy is rare:
The hotel closed for lack of business.

Maybe you can check local flea markets
for an examining table and set up shop
at home. Unless you're enrolled in a
natural-childbirth program, the chances
are slim of finding a doctor who will let
you share the fun.

Perhaps one of your рілувоу pho-
tographers can help me. Гуе taken up
photography—particularly color slides—
and have run into a little problem. When
I shoot into the sun, sometimes the light.
flares, overexposes the film and/or de-
stroys the color value. Гуе found that
a lens hood helps solve this problem by
shading the lens. However, the screw-in
caps I have for the front of my lenses
don't fit my lens hoods. I don't like to
walk around with a hood on and the
lens unprotected. Any solution?—G. H.,
Miami, Florida.

Surc. Most camera stores have a drawer-
ful of oversized lens caps that might fit
your lens hoods. If you can’t find one, try
circular container covers such as Tup-
perware lids or the plastic covers for
coffee cups. Or you might switch to col-
lapsible lens hoods that are threaded for
screw-in caps.

How many sperm are there in the aver-
age ejaculation2—T. S., Spokane, Wash-
ington.

Hold on a minute, you made us lose
count. One. Two. Three. Oh, hell, would

you settle for an estimate? According to
doctors with better eyesight and more
time than we have, between 78,000,000
and 787,000,000 sperm are released in
the average ejaculation.

Can you settle a dispute? The guys
in the ofice who play handball say
that their sport is the best exercise for
allround fitness. The joggers claim that
running is better for the body. The swim-
mers extol the virtues of their form of
self-abuse. And so forth. What is the best
sport for keeping in shape?—D. B., Min-
neapolis, Minnesota.

The sport you like well enough to do
a lot of. For us that's sex. It does wonders
for the body. What's more, it does won-
ders for somebody else's body. We find
that by following a rigid schedule that
alternates hard days with easy days, wind
sprints with long, slow slides, we can stay
in marvelous shope. Occasionally, we en-
ter marathons. We have been known to
hit the wall, the floor and whatever else
was handy. However, for those of you
who don't recognize sex as а sporl, con-
sider the following. The Presidents
Council on Physical Fitness and Sports
asked seven experts to rate 14 sports in
terms of how well they promoted general
well-being (weight control, muscle defini-
tion, digestion and sleep) and fitness
(stamina, muscular endurance, muscular
strength, flexibility and balance). A per-
fect score on the well-being scale was 84:
Jogging scored 61; bicycling, 62; swim-
ming, 58; ice or roller skating, 57; cross-
country skiing, 56; handball or squash,
55; basketball, 54; calisthenics, 53; tennis,
52; downhill skiing, 50; walking, 19; soft-
ball, 27; golf, 25; bowling, 23. The physi-
cal-fitness scale is а little bit trickier, since,
to a certain extent, il also tells how fit
you have to be to play the sport. Out of a
possible 105 points, handball or squash
Scored 85; jogging, 84; downhill skiing,
81; ice or roller skating, 83; cross-country
skiing, 83; swimming, 82; bicycling, 80;
basketball, 80; tennis, 76; calisthenics, 73;
walking, 53; golf, 41; softball, 37; and
bowling, 28. The combined winners—
may we have the envelope, please—are
jogging, bicycling and, in a tie for third
place, handball or squash, ice or roller
shating and swimming.

The reader who inquired in the Janu-
ary issue about historical roots of shaved
pubic hair deserved a better answer than
he got from you. ‘Traditionally, both
sexes of the people of the Arabian pen-
insula have shaved all of their body
hair. Since the Arabs are not a particu-
larly hairy race, there is not a lot to shave

PLAYBOY

25 of your drink is mixer,
so make your mixer

Gon Dry

More people mix with
Canada Dry" Tonic Water
than any ae brand.

It's distinctively smooth
with gin, vodka, or rum.

Make your drink a
total pleasure. Make your
mixer Canada Dry.

except in the genital and axillary areas.
The men also kccp the hair on their
heads closely cropped beneath their skull-
caps and head shawls. The origins of this
practice are lost in the myths of antiq-
uity, but it probably began as a method
to prevent lice, since, with water in great
scarcity, bathing was largely unknown.
Once established as part of their native
folklore, it became interspersed with re-
ligious belief and was spread throughout
most of the lands of the Mediterranean
and Middle East as the Arabs broadcast
the faith of Islam during the Eighth and
Ninth centuries. During an 18-month
residence in a remote area of Saudi
Arabia, I was unable to learn of any
erotic overtones to this practice. Even а
case-hardened old doc such as I must
confess some novel fantasies upon first en-
countering this not unpleasant sight
among my patients. The man who wrote
to you claimed that the bald look height-
ened sensations. Like so much of human
sexuality, his feelings are occasioned
largely by his mental attitudes; there
seems to be no end to what can serve as
a turn-on. One must remember that in
the male, at least, the area of greatest
sensitivity is the glans penis, a part that
already is hairless in most men. Inci-
dentally, beneath their heavy black veils,
many Bedouin women sport bleached
tresses, achieved by the use of camels’
urine, which has a high content of am-
monia.—K. 5, Wichita, Kansas.
Gee, thanks.

Ever since the speed limit was dropped
to 55 mph, advocates of the lower speed
have pointed to a reduction in traffic
fatalities as their justification for the
pace at which we are forced to
drive. I've got a sneaking suspicion that
bad driving and not speed is the cause of
most accidents. Can you back me up?—
T. R., San Diego, California.

We can’t, but your own highway patrol
can. The C.H.P. analysis of accident
causes indicates that of the top 20 reasons
for highway fatalities, high spced ranks
about 11th. Drunk driving is the number-
one cause and driving too fast for condi-
tions (but within the speed limit) is a
close second. They are followed by such
inanities as driving on the wrong side of
the road and passenger distractions. Giv-
en those problems, a speed reduction
may lower fatalities, but then, so would
banning driving altogether.

МУ... my boyfriend and 1 living under
the same roof, it seems that we have less
sex than before. And since he has rec
ommended on several occasions that I
masturbate (which I'd prefer not to do),
I have found a way in which to enjoy my-
self between lovemaking sessions. I wait
till he has gone to work, then I dead-
bolt the door. Then off to the bathroom

Whos poii SS closer to home?

Jantzen has brought the continental favorite better retailer and slip into
look to American shores with a sleek alittle bit of Europe, VA
line of swimwear we call Body Art. courtesy oa

The fit is close but comfortable thanks i e
to the supple resilience of Lycra?
spandex and Antron®nylon. Visit your

antzen

You know who.

2 Du Pont Reg. TM Jantzen Inc., Portland, Oregon 97208

PLAYBOY

Taste the pride of Canada,
“=

Now you have two ways to enjoy it.
MOLSON GOLDEN?" It's smooth,
it's light, it's too good to miss.
And MOLSON Ale.
The one with the pure, hearty taste
that really stands up to a thirst.
Either way, pour yourself a MOLSON.
And wake up your taste to Canada.

ice
rewal

опей by Marlet Importing Co.. Inc., Great Neck, N.Y-

І go. First I take a hor shower and
get relaxed, then the excitement begins.
I turn on the faucet and get a good,
steady, powerful stream of water going
and, in a sitting position, with my feet
оп the edge of the tub, I center it on my
clit. 1 don't think that re
sex from any man could even come close
to the excitement, because it is so in-
tense, stimulating and ecstatic. This beats
masturbation by a head. Even though I
would prefer to make love with my boy-
friend, episodes like this keep me going
between the times we share with each
other. And I can actually say th
of drama has saved our
Miss 5. K., Clearwater, Flori

Cleanliness is next-to horniness. Your
relationship should last as long as the
local water supply. Our only suggestion:
Share your new hygiene with your friend.
We're sure he'll enjoy the show.

From the day I moved into my new
partment, my landlady has been com-
plaining about the noise of my stereo. І
play both classical music and rock, but
she seems to complain only about the
rock. Since I keep the volume the same
when I play both, I suspect she’s just a
rock-music hater. What do you think?—
M. D., Minneapolis, Minnesota.

We think you had. better start looking
for another apartment. Your landlady
may be right. On a relative sound scale,
loud rock music can be as much as 25
decibels higher than loud classical music.
Rock checks in at about 115 decibels,
with a heavy bass, to boot. To give you an
idea of what that means, a boiler factory
and thunder hit 106-108 db. The noise
on a residential street or in the average
office is only 55-58 db and the threshold
of pain is about 130 db. That last figure,
of course, can change, depending upon
musical tastes, as you have noted. But
why fight it? You're unhappy, she’s un-
happy—move.

WI, girliriend is what is known аз а
cheap date—that is, one drink just.
about do her Most of the time, it's a
blessing. But after a frantic night out, I
sometimes have to pour her into bed and
you can imagine how that cuts into our
love life, Is there any way you can teach
a person how to hold her liquor?—M. B.,
Omaha, Nebraska.

The person who comes up with an
answer for that will have one of the most
lucrative patents ever. The problem is
that а drinker’s capacity has so many
variables. Psychological predisposition is
one. Body weight is another. Alcoholic
content is still another. An ounce and a
half of whiskey, for instance, takes about
an hour and a half to be completely
metabolized in а 150-pound person. The
same is true for 12 ounces of beer or five
ounces of winc. When the rate of con-
sumption exceeds the metabolism rate,

you've got trouble. So pacing is very
imporlant. Food in the stomach will slow
the rate at which alcohol enters the
blood, which means you've got to feed
her, preferably before drinking and,
ideally, during and after. More than that,
all you can do is keep the booze watered
down. But remember, drinking is not a
competitive sport. Avoid putting pressure
on your girlfriend to kcep up with you.
Encouraging moderation in the bar will
bring out wonderful excesses in the
bedroom.

Fm writing to find out what you can sug-
gest as a solution to a slight sex problem
Im having with my wife. She had some
terrible experiences when she was a child
living at home with her mother and
father. It seems that her parents’ bed-
room adjoined hers. My wile has said
that several times she heard her mother
choking and gagging in the bedroom
never knew just what was going on. She
Jater found out that her mother was
giving her father head. Now we come
to my slight sex problem. My wife won't
© me head unless I wear a condom.
You know how much fun it is to wear
а condom during oral sex. If you rated
it on a scale of 1 to 50, it might score a
minus 75. My wife lets me perform
oral sex on her and she has some really
great orgasms, but she claims that she
doesn't really like it. I feel cheated
whenever I talk her into giving me head,
because I must wear a rubber. І believe
that my wife more or less relives her
childhood listening to the sounds she
makes when she gives me head. She and
I love each other very much and I would
do almost anything short of divorce to
get some great head from her. What do
you suggest—F. K, New York, New
York.

Ahem. We do not know what it is like
to get head while wearing a condom, but
we can guess. Sort of like taking a piss
in a wet suit or getting a hand job from
someone wearing а shait jacket. Your
wife obviously has a problem: It sounds
like you've discussed it. The problem
isn’t that she refuses to listen—in fact,
il is just the opposite. We suggest ear-
plugs. Or headphones. (How do you
think headphones got their name?) They
will provide an alternate sound track
and you both should come around.

All reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, stereo and sports cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette—
will be personally answered if the writer
includes a stamped, self-addressed en-
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent queries will
be presented on these pages cach month.

Taste three
exquisite
tobaccos.

And one
magnificent
secret.

Imported Sail Aromatic smokes
ѕо smooth and easy for a number
of very good reasons. There's the
specially selected Burley, Virginia
and Latakia tobaccos from
around the world. And just as im-
portant there's the 150 yearold
Secret formula for blending them
together to produce the easiest
smoking Cavendish blend you'll
ever packin a pipe. Try imported
Sail Aromatic or one of the other
distinctive Sail styles - Regular,
Light Aromatic, and Natural.

“AROMATICA

Imported from Holland

The Craig Corporation
Has Re-designed
The Car Stereo Based Upon
An Astounding
Scientific Fact:

Cars Move.

When a car is moving, its
receiver has to put up with prob-
lems that simply don’t exist when
it’s standing still.

Annoying, interruptive prob-
lems like Fuzzzz. Fading. Inter-
ference. Overlapping Stations.
And, a rather disconcerting phe-
nomenon called “Picket-Fencing”
(the thing that causes you to hear
a rapid-fire ffft-ffft-ffft-ffft as you
drive between tall buildings).

The new standard in car stereos:

Road-Rated Receivers.

Here is a line of car stereos
specifically designed to combat the
problems of receiving a signal in a
moving car.

Of course, maximizing one
spec at the expense of others does

not make a good mobile receiver.

So, the Craig

engineers have

carefully balanced Sensitivity, RE
Intermodulation, Alternate Chan-
nel Rejection, IF Rejection and
Capture Ratio to achieve the
optimum blend of specifications
for mobile performance.

In plain English, Craig Road-
Rated Receivers have been designed
to provide you with clean, clear,
interference-free reception almost
anywhere you drive.

The First Car Stereos with
“Moving Specs?

If you've been looking to buy
a car stereo, we invite you to take
a good, long look at one of the
Craig Road- Rated Receivers. And,
while you're comparing specs with
other car stereos, remember that
demo rooms stand still.

And cars move.

For more information write: Craig Corporation, Dept. TD, 921 W. Artesia Blvd., Compton, Ca. 90220. In Canada: Withers, Evans Ltd. Burnaby, B.C. V5G 3E3.

There is a reason why more
4 Americans buy MGB than any
other convertible.

See ж
suspension, 1798cc engine and front disc
brakes. Driving the MGB is a very individ-
ual pleasure—an act of defiance against
= an increasingly homogenized world. If
you've forgotten the feeling of wind in
your hair, sun on your face and the sheer
exhilaration of driving a car that is all
thrust and response, come drive the 1979
MGB today. For the name of the dealer
nearest you, call these numbers toll-free:
_ (800) 447-4700, or, in Illinois, (800) 322-
1 4400. British Leyland Motors Inc., Leonia,
New Jersey 07605

The 1979 MGB is the latest edition of a
great best-selling classic. The MG-TC
was the first imported sports car to win
the hearts of America, and the fact MG
today outsells any other convertible is an
eloquent testimonial to the qualities that
make a classic endure. But no testimonial
can duplicate the sheer excitement of
driving a top-down, wide-open MGB.
Here is a pure sports car: lean, honest
and quick. The MGB has the athletic
reflexes of rack and pinion steering,
short-throw, four-speed stick, track-bred

FOR THE MG SHIRT SHOWN, SEND $6.25 TO: MG SHIRT OFFER, BRITISH LEYLAND MOTORS INC., LEONIA, N.J. 07605. SPECIFY S.M.L OR XL. ALLOWE-6 WEEKS.

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

a continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers

EROTIC RITUAL

As a 215-pound former college line-
backer, I was relieved to read that some-
one has finally blown the proverbial
whistle on us husky, bruising footballers
and exposed us as the sissy fanny ракете
that we really are. Anthropologist. Alan
Dundes of the University of California
at Berkeley revealed in his recent study
that “the unequivocal sexual symbolism
of the game” makes it obvious that foot-
ball is the greatest homosexual ceremony
since Oscar Wilde invented the circle jerk.

Thanks to Dundes’ remarkable percep-
tions, the whole closet corps of gridiron
queens can stop living the big macho lie
and finally tell it like it is. Oh, how 1
miss the swect kiss of an opponent's cl-
bow in my ribs, the inviting caress of a
running back's knee in my head! М т
ever again be as happy as when receiving
a love blow in the groin while rushing a
Kicker? The sheer romance of the enemy
lineman's trying to catch my eye—by
jamming fingers through my face
mask—or the wonderful feeling of be-
longing when gangtackled by four ог
five guys, all of them just wanting to
touch me.

To demonstrate our gratitude toward
Dundes for taking this heavy burden off
our shoulder pads, a few of my former
teammates and I would be tickled to meet
with him over a pink lady or two. Maybe
we could show him a thing or two about
personal fouls.

(Name withheld by request)
Dallas, Texas

BETTER ONE THAN NONE

The present Supreme Court is, in my
opinion, as bad as or worse than any
other in U.S. history—thanks largely to
Richard Nixon, Which subject I don't
even want to go into. But at least one
significant decision respected this coun-
түз principles of personal liberty, and
with it came a comment that should be
quoted throughout history. When the
Court struck down the New York law re-
stricting the display and sale of contracep-
tives, Justice John Paul Stevens remarked
on the foolishness of such a statute: “It
is as though a state decided to dramatize
its disapproval of motorcycles by forbid-
ding the use of safety helmets

James Hawkins
Washington, D.C.

Maybe what Justice Stevens had in
mind but didn't want to pul in words was
that professional moralists have always
preferred punishment 10 persuasion.

BEARS IN THE BUSHES

I hope the following story may save
some of your readers a ruined vacation
or worse.

On our second night of camping in
Wisconsin's Governor Dodge State Par
my wife and I were sitting by our small
fire, toking a number before retiring for
the evening. Suddenly, a park ranger

“So much for our
vacation, thanks to one

pistol-packing jack-off
with a sadistic streak.”

sprang from the shadows, confiscated the
roach and announced that we were under
arrest. I tried to get him to leave my
wile and our children at the campsite,
but he advised that my wife was a crimi-
nal dope fiend also and went on to warn
that any pot found in our belongings
later would constitute a second offen
and bump our charges up to felonies. So

1 dug out our tiny stash and turned it
ov

On the way to the sheriff's office, we
stopped at the ranger station for mug
shots and a view of what our gallant
ranger called his "souvenirs"—a four-
by-ightfoot peg board covered with
kind of pipe, bong and roach clip
able, and all confiscated in a
single two-week period, he boasted. He
then gave us a paper stating that we were
charged with possession of ma a but
could have the charges reduced to dis-
orderly conduct if we signed on the dot-
ted line.

1 flatly refused to sign anything, but

at the sheriff's office, our four-
daughter started crying and asking if she
were going to jail. My wife and I then
decided to go ahead and si,
paper and be done with й. So much
for our pleasant little family vacation,
thanks to one pistol-packing jack-off with
а sadistic streak. who's a disgrace to the
very concept of public service and the
uniform he wears.
(Name withheld by request)
Granite City, Hlinoi
in the bushes does sound
like a bit of а zealot, but judging from
Teports we've received from other readers,
you got off rather lucky. Not just in Wis-
consin but elsewhere, those supposedly
benign and helpful park vangers—both
state and Federal—seem to be death on
dopers who allow campfires and starry
night skies to lull them into a false sense
of security.

n the damn

Your bear

BAR EXAMINATION

Who says college isn't educational?
Here is a small sample of the type of
advanced intellectual stimulation being
offered at our own Southern Method
(yet!) Universit

Socr 43
ing
Ba

‘The Sociology of Drink-
Establishments: Behavior in
rs, Lounges and Taverns
DESCRIPTION: This course will es
amine the ceremonial aspects of
drinking in America, First, the place
of drinking, especially the power
struggles over the regulation and
control of alcohol in American his-
tory. Next, we shall examine the
types of drinking places: singles bars,
gay bars, skid-row bars, voyeur bars
(trip joints, topless bars), cocktail
lounges, neighborhood bars, dance
bars and other varieties, Through

PLAYBOY

firsthand observation of bars in Dal-
las, we shall examine the structure
of bars, the types of norms which
evolve for customers and how they
arc enforced, and generally the forms
of behavior which occur in different
bars. We shall also examine the
as а workplace, looking at the status
hicrarchv among employees, work
conflicts, theft by employees and
employce-customer interactioi

ame withheld by request)
Greenville, Texas
Whence comes the expression “higher
education.”

TWO FROM TAMPA
Three men we
rest room in Tampa and cha

rested in a public
ged with

commission of the crime of performing
an unnatural and lascivious act; to wit,
masturbating in a public rest room. 1

and the cases

1 three men

represented.

were dismissed because the Floi

ше requires that another person. partic-
ipate in the crime of committing an
unnatural and 1.

The stare subsequently recharged the
defendants with commission of the crime
of exposure of sexual or; o wit, mas-
turbating in

grounds that it is impossible for a man
хо usc a public rest room without expos-
ing his sexual organs.

"Ehe state is now g to find a
law to prevent what the state attorney
referred to a rking off in front of
innocent children” —at 11 р.м. in a pitch-
black public rest room frequented by
homosexuals!

George Allen DuFour
Tampa, Florida

Nearly nine years ago, I wrote to you
about the activities of the Tampa police
“masturbation” squad (The Playboy Fo-
тит, September 1970). As you can sce by
the enclosed clipping from The Tampa
Tribune, they are still at

Tampa was one of the ten metropoli-
tan ar ite of serious
crime in 1977. Why Well, partly
because a large segment of the police
force is sitting around cocktail lounge
drinking at ta expense, while
ogling the go-go dancers (and occasion
ally taking onc to dance nude for th
at a private. party); or lurking around
rooms, listening for the sounds of
sturbation coming from a locked toilet
booth: or conducting months-long
vestigations so that they can crash into
teenage pot party: or raiding adult book.
stores; or pecking through curtains at
fornicators, etc.

Yes, Tampa is death on sin, which
pleases the local churches, but that leaves
the ramparts against real crime largely
ded, The message to the bona
minal is clear: Come on down;

FORUM NEWSFRONT

what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas

OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS

woxrcowrRy—]James С. Clark, the
former Alabama sheriff who made head-
lines by attacking integrationists in
Selma during the Sixties, has been sen-
lenced to two years in prison on a Fed-
eral marijuana-smuggling conviction.
Along with four other defendants, Clark
was found guilty of conspiring to im-
port pot worth about $1,300,000. The

arrests occurred after mechanical prob-
lems forced a twin-engined DC-3 10
make an emergency landing al the
Montgomery municipal airport while
loaded with about 6600 pounds of
reefer

In 1965, Clark, who liked to wear a
button reading Never on his sheriff's
uniform, led two dozen mounted officers
and 50 riobequipped state troopers into
a crowd of kneeling black demonstra-
lors, injuring at least 35 persons

SUPREME COURT DECISIONS

WASHINGTON, D.c—The New York
City statute that provides up to life
imprisonment for the sale ov possession
of even small amounts of had drugs
has been upheld by the U.S. Supreme
Court, Over the dissent of Justices
Thurgood Marshall and Lewis Е. Pow-
ell, Jr, the majority of the Court re-
fused to consider appeals from two
women serving sentences of four and
six years to life for selling or possessing
minuscule amounts of cocaine,

In another case, the High Court de-
clared. unconstitutional а Pennsylvania.
law requiring a doctor performing an

abortion to choose the method most
likely to save the life of a fetus that
might be developed enough to survive
outside the womb. The majority held,
six lo three, that such a law was too
vague and would constitute “little more
than a trap” for physicians acting in
good faith and using their best medical
judgment.

WHERE IT HURTS

AUGUSTA, MAINE—Slale representative
Joyce Lewis has prefiled a bill in the
Maine legislature that would permit
the surgical "asexualization" of either
male or female child molesters. Under
the proposed law, male offenders would
face the removal of nerves within the
penis that control the ability to have an
erection; women would have their
ovaries removed. “H's going to be a
deterrent in one way,” said Mrs, Lewis.
“Certainly it will prevent a molester
from molesting again.”

HIS JUST DESERTS

DADE CITY, FLORIDA—A 20-year-old
woman reported to the county sheriff's
department that she had been picked
up Ьу а man known to her while walk-
ing along a road late at night and sexu.
ally assaulted. She then told sheriff's
deputies that she had gonorrhea and
did not want to prosecute. The police
then advised the man in the case that
he himself might have a case and should
act accordingly.

PROTECTION FROM ATTACK

LONDON—AÀ member of the British
Parliament wants that country’s cri
nal law amended to protect men against
“lustful, oversexed and physically shong
women.” Ina lelter to the British Home
Secretary, Labor Рану representative
John Lee wyed consideration of his
propasal because “it is not beyond the
bounds of credibility that a woman can
commit rape.”

VOICE OF JUSTICE

FORT WAYNE, INDIANA—V el another
judge has come under attach for veject-
ing rape-relited charges with comments
indicating that women sometimes invite
such attacks. Hearing the case of a 36.
year-old man accused of attempted rape,
circuit-court judge Hermann Е. Busse
found the defendant guilty of the lesser
charge of battery against a 27-year-old
woman after dismissing the заре charge
with the reported comment, “If women

want the protection of the law, they
should quit trolling taverns.” The co-
ordinator of a group called Fort Wayne
Feminists said the organization would
invesiigate the possibility of
judge's removal and added
ments show why women are afraid to
pursue rape cases.”

Last December, women’s groups in
Utah said they would seck the removal
of a district judge who reversed a jury's
conviction of an accused rapist on the
ground that the victim had invited the
таре. In 1977, а county judge in Wis-
consin was removed from office in а
recall election after he made similar
comments following a rape trial.

YARN OF THE MONTH

High Times magazine claims that a
family of dolphins was used by drug
smugglers 10 carry two and а half tons
of cocaine [rom the Yucatán Peninsula
in Mexico to the Florida coast by means
of nylon packs harnessed to their backs.
Supposedly, the dolphins were sum-
moned 10 their contact points in Mex-
ico and the U. S. by a special underwater
device playing the music of Waylon
Jennings and Willie Nelson.

FORNICATION FOLLIES

Copulating couples ате having their
problems with the law:

* In Milwaukee, a man and a woman
were fined $75 each when police, inves-
tigating a reported break-in of an empty
house, found them reveling in the
throes of fornication. The two, charged
with lewd and lascivious conduct, had

been hired to paint the building. Both
indicated they would appeal their con-
victions.

* In St. Paul, a couple was arrested
for fornicaling in the buck row of the
civic audilorium during a rock concert.

According 10 police, the two repeatedly
ignored warnings from bystanders that
the officers were coming, and then the
woman allegedly pleaded with the po-
lice for some “compassion,” because she
and her partner were going to be mar-
ried, The partner blew that by telling
the cops he not only wasn't getting mar-
ried lo her but didn't even know the
woman's name. Both pleaded guilty to
disorderly conduct and each was placed
оп one year’s probation.

FUN WHILE IT LASTED

SAN pIEGO—Three women, aged 18, 24
and 29, have been booked on suspi-
cion of theft, fraudulent use of а credit
card and conspiracy after they allegedly
posed as Playboy Bunnies arranging for
а huge party. During a six-hour spend-
ing spree, they rented a chauffeur-driven
limousine, ordered S189 worth of [ood
and liquor and then stopped off for
hairdos and beauty treatments. Tipped
Off by the suspicious chauffeur, arresting
officers patiently waited until the hair
styling was finished, but one suspect
had to wear her mudpack to the police
station.

CRIME PAYS
ALEXANDRIA, LOUISIANA—A coin-oper-
ated-laundry owner may have to pay
damages to a young man convicted of
stealing coins from the laundry's soda-
pop machine, The youth pleaded guilty
10 а misdemeanor theft when shown
pictures of himself taken by a security
camera, but when the owner of the
business posted photographs of the
young man with the warning “Michael
now has a police record,” Michael sued
for violation of his right of privacy and
the $500 in damages allowed him by a
lower court now has been upheld all the
ay to the U.S. Supreme Court, which

refused to review the case.

INTIMIDATION QUOTIENT

WASHINGTON, D.C—A robber using a
gun is less likely to injure his victim
than an unarmed robber or one using
another weapon, according to a study
released by the Law Enforcement As-
sistance Administration (LEAA), But it
added that one percent of gun robbers
kill their victims, compared with one
fifth of one percent of otherwise armed
or unarmed robbers. The study decided
that gun-holding robbers have a less
violent pattern because the robber with-
оша gun feels a greater need to intimi
date his victim by inflicting injury,

Another LEAA study found that
nearly one third of the adults convicted
of felony offenses committed in 1974 in
Washington, D.C., in which а weapon
was displayed or used were given proba-
hon or a suspended sentence.

PROBLEM PRIVY
CENTRAL LAKE, MICHIGAN—An Amish
Mennonite family is at odds with
lage officials over its right to use an
outhouse as a toilet. facility. County
health authorities had granted. permis-
sion, but acted without realizing the

property was inside the corporate limits
Of the village, which bans privies by or-
dinance. Citing religious beliefs that do
nol permit modern conveniences such
as indoor plumbing, the family takes
the position that “if the outhouse does
no harm and doesn’t interfere with the
rights of others, then we should be al-
lowed to keep it” Village officials are
threatening 10 take court action to en-
force the ordinance. The family i
threatening to move its house and privy
across the road, which would put them
a few feet oulside village jurisdiction.

LEGALIZE AND REGULATE

WASHINGTON, n.G—4n. an expansion
of policy, the National Organization
for the Reform of Marijuana Laws
(NORML) is now promoting studies to
determine some feasible means of both
legalizing and regulating the sale of
marijuana. Larry Schott, national direc-
tor of NORML since the retirement of
founder Reith Stroup, who has gone
into private legal practice, said the or-
ganizalion'y policy committee voted to
expand its objectis Ву now feel,
it should be obvious that marijuana изе
іза fact of American life that is better
handled through sensible legislation to
regulate than through attempts to pro-
hibit, Legalization is certainly a long
way off, but we think i's time 10 in-
vestigate the possibilities. This country
doesn’t need another multibillion-dol-
lar criminal industry continued by the
failure of our public officials to deal
with reality.”

PLAYBOY

There's nothing more revealing
than a naked diamond.

The diamond you buy should have nothing to hide. That's why it's
advisable to select your stone and mounting separately.

Before a diamond is mounted, your jeweler can easily demonstrate
its cut, color, clarity and carat weight to you. With his help, you will be
able to see and compare the brilliance of different stones yourself.

Brilliance is the key to beauty in diamonds. Always look for a
diamond that has been cut and polishedto bring out all of its
natural brilliance, one that meets the exacting standards that have
been established as ideal. These are called ideal cut diamonds.

When a diamond is ideally cut, its 58 facets are placed in precise
relation to the others. They act as tiny mirrors, constantly capturing
and reflecting light and bouncing it back through the top of the stone
їп а brilliant blaze. A diamond cut too shallow makes it look bigger, but
lets some of the light "leak out" through the bottom and the stone
appears watery. One cut too deep lets light “leak” through the sides
and appears black in the center when compared to an ideal cut

diamond.

LK Ideal Cut Diamonds ensure you of getting the most beauty and
value for your investment.

They are available at fine jewelers throughout the 6
country who display this symbol:

If you'd like more information, call or write:

Lazare Kaplan & Sons, Inc.
666 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10019 (212) 757-5200

"Tampa is a swell place to ply your trade.
Don't masturbate in the wrong place and
you'll hardly be bomered at all.

Alton R. Pitman

Attorney at Law

Tampa, Florida

The clipping reports the suicide of a

50-year-old St. Petersburg detective ar-
rested in Tampa for masturbating in a
al-beach men's room.

REFLECTIONS ON KENT STATE

So the state of Ohio has decided to
pay an out-of-court, no-guiltadmitted,
3675.000 settlement to the victims and
ns of the Kent State
ity shootings back in 1970. I imag-
ine that figure represents only a small
fraction of what the taxpayers and the
plaintiffs paid out to lawyers to achieve
something short of justice. 1 don’t mean
to turn the lawyers into v I
couldn't tell you what would be justice.
As I see it:

One, а bunch of naive, middle-class
kids got themselves caught up in the ex-
citement of a national cultural battle
they didn't think would be fought with
real bullets.

Two, some self-important politicians
and eager-beaver military types managed
10 scare some equally young but uni
formed kid: о а sense of duty and then
send them out with loaded guns.

Three, somebody fucked up. . . .

Fhere is so much blame to spread
around and so many deserving of it that.
Т suppose it's only good that this sad and
prolonged. ordeal has finally drawn to a
close. I have never been able to call those
National Guardsmen murderers, as has
been the fashion in the liberal-arts a
demic community, of which I am а m:
г. You don't put men in uniform,
swear them to blindly follow orders,
train them to act rather than think, pre-
pare them to kill, issue them weapons,
send them out to face a supposed enemy
and rhen expect them to exercise sound
personal judgment, Hell, do we want
cops who w use to weigh the risks
against the benefits before chasing а par-
ticular armed robber?

On the other hand, we can all now
look back and see that those postpubes-
cent lists of the V
right, if only by an instinct for self pres-
ion. They perceived (not through
sophisticated intellectual process,
y had blun-
bly in its m y involve
ment in Viemam, and they were just
smart enough not to buy the patriotic
bullshit that would turn them into can-
non fodder to no purpose whatever.

I find myself now dealing with a new
and in many ways quite different "peace-
me” generation of young people, and I
s the old. I find myself grieving equal-
ly over the deaths of the kids on the
Kent State campus, the kids who killed
Шеш and must live with that terrible

mistake and also the kids who willingly
fought and dicd in Vietnam. All were
victims of their own convictions and
idealism, which can be judged right or
wrong only long after the body count is
in. But that’s what history is all about.
(Name withheld by request)
Chicago, Illinois
We have published countless letters on
the Kent State killings over the past nine
years. With the closing of the legal case,
we received many more. We publish only
the above letter, because it seems, appro-
priately, to wrap things up. We'll add
one comment: No deaths were recorded
among the civil or military officials who
sent armed Guardsmen to quell that pay-
ticular student “riot,” or whatever it is
officially called; and, we note without
much surprise, most of the leading radi-
cals of that period now seem to be doing
quite well in some form of business.

MARITAL RAPE

Although the evidence brought out in
the controversial Rideout rape trial may
have warranted the jury's verdict of in-
nocent, that should not detract from the
fact that such punishable offenses occur
with deplorable regularity. No relation-
ship, particularly the legal contract of
marriage, grants license to the callous
mistreatment of one human being by
another

The new statutes in Oregon and three

other states, redefining traditional Eng-
lish common-law concepts, ought to be
instituted in all of the other states, and
certainly in those that have passed
the Equal Rights Amendment. Most im-
portantly, the verdict in Oregon must
not be allowed 10 deter other victims of
marital, as well as “conventional,” rape
and abuse from reporting and secking
legal justice for their sufferings.

Kevin J. Colpaert

Mishawaka, Indiana

“No relationship grants
license to the callous
mistreatment of one

human being by another.”

The idea that in some st
ge her husband with
me as the best example yet of a
rights movement's turning into just one
more crackpot movement that feeds оп
its early and probably deserved political
victories and then becomes merely an-
other secular religion that abandons all
common sense in the pursuit of a holy
Cause. Nothing could demonstrate that
better than the celebrated Oregon “rapist

husband” trial, wherein those two inter-
esting char
tional news with their domestic problems
and then bring the whole fiasco to a fit-
ting conclusion by making up. Violent
rape by some threatening stranger, pos-
sibly armed and probably dangerous, is
one thing; submitting, no matter how
unwillingly, to the man you marricd is
something else. With that Oregon trial,
it's almost as if some underground “mas:
culinist" movement paid that strange
lady to test the law and discredit it and
her zcalous feminist supporters.
haps I should add that I think I'm
in favor of the Equal Rights Amend-
ment, but mainly, now, in reaction to
the dimwits who oppose it for all the
wrong reasons.
(Name withheld by request)
Alexandria, Virginia
It’s almost axiomatic that any move-
ment derives its energy more from zeal
than from reason, and most would agrce
that the Oregon rape trial
wound up like a comic opera. We wish
the law had received a better test, because
we have mixed feelings about it, and
about таре laws in general. To тазу
oversimplify, we don’t consider rape to
be truly a sexual offense, though it
comes under that heading in every crim-
inal code and historically carries the
implication of a sexual desire. fulfilled.
That blunts the truth about rape: that it

ters ged 10 make па

domestic

The Frosty
in & lonic

Tall, clean-tasting, icy-cold. Made
with Gilbey's Gin, of course. The famous
frosty bottle pours a gin that's made
for mixing. With tonic or juice, in a Martini or
Collins, the smooth flavor of Gilbey's
always comes through.

Gilbey’s Gin
in the frosty bottle.

Tis ort Bet mith тє omonê baa ane? ndum. танап he U.S Patent & Hageman Once, Dstilled London Ory Gn. 80 Ри. 100% Grain Neutral Spans. W. & A. Gilbey, Lid., Dist by Natl Dist. Products Co.. М.Ү С.

PLAYBOY

is rarely sexual in the usual sense (as
psychologists and criminologists have dis-
covered) but, rather, an expression of
rage—an act of serious violence that
should be treated as assault with intent
to do great bodily harm, Leave sex, gen-
der and marriage out of й, in other
words, and let the issue be the act of vio-
lence committed by one person against
another. Our criminal-justice system
seems to find it easier to deal with violent
crimes than with sex, any lime.

Forum Library

RED LODGE FINALE

I presume you are aware of the latest
developments in these parts involving
the former Red Lodge defendants. Some
months after charges against them were
dropped, Don Wogamon and his son
"Tim were again arrested, this time for
allegedly manufacturing methampheta-
mines in another town. Wogamon
skipped just before his trial date and is
now a fugitive. His son was convicted
and sentenced to 15 years in the state

SURVIVAL MANUAL FOR FAMILIES OF
AMERICANS JAILED ABROAD: At last, а
booklet that explains what can and
cannot be done for Americans in for-
eign prisons—and how to go about
doing it through existing organize-
lions and Government agencies.
Printed by the Playboy Foundation,
written by Susan Z. Ritz, national
coordinator of the Committee of Con-
cerned Parents, and available for
three dollars from that group at 4920
Piney Branch Road, N.W., Washing-
ton, D.C. 20011.

CLEAN SLATE: Just as the publisher
claims, here's "а state-by-state guide
to expunging an arrest record,” with
detailed instructions on how to take
advantage of recent legislation—i
expensively and without a lawyer. By
Tom Ballinger, under the Harmony
Books imprint, and available at most
bookstores or from Crown Publishers,
Inc., Dept. 837, 34 Engelhard Avenue,
‘Avenel, New Jersey 07001, for $14.95
in hardback or $8.95 in softcover,
plus $1.50 postage and handling.

PRISON LAW MONITOR: Parole, pre-
sentencing reports, detainers, ex-
pungements of arrest records,
prisoners’ rights, civil actions, and so
forth, are the topics covered in this
monthly periodical that also reports
on litigation and legislation affecting
prisoners. Subscriptions are $25 a
year, $20 to nonprofit public-interest
‘organizations, six dollars to state and
Federal prisoners and free to juve-
niles. From The Prison Law Monitor,
1806 T Street, N.W., Washington, D.C.
20009. Again, the Playboy Foundation
provided some backup.

THE PROMISE OF JUSTICE—LEGAL
SERVICES FOR THE POOR: То рага-
phrase a famous New Yorker lawyer
cartoon, You have a good сазе...
how much justice can you afford?
This 28-page pamphlet by Natalie
Jaffe advises poor people on how and
when they can secure various kinds
of legal assistance when they can't
afford to hire an F. Lee Bailey. Single
copies 50 cents, from Public Affairs
Committee, 381 Park Avenue South,
New York, New York 10016. This is
pamphlet number 561. Many others

available on every conceivable sub-
ject concerning family life, social
issues and health and science.

THE RIGHT TO A SPEEDY TRIAL: A MAN-
UAL FOR LAWYERS, JUDGES AND LEGIS-
LATORS: Legalist Noal S. Solomon,
with a little help from the Playboy
Foundation, has published this 30-
page manual primarily for the benefit
of criminal defendants (and their at-
torneys), who often find the wheels of
justice turning slowly while they sit
in the slammer—or are out on bond
for excessive periods with the prose-
cutor's ax still hanging over them.
Free to prisoners; others send two
dollars to Noal S. Solomon, 1409-0
North Cliff Valley Way, N.E., Atlanta,
Georgia 30319.

THE RIGHT ТО A SPEEDY TRIAL:

A Manual for Lawyers, Judges and Legislators

THE AMERICAN LAWYER: HOW TO
CHOOSE AND USE ONE: Like doctors,
lawyers occasionally соте їп
handy—and that's the worst time to
start panic shopping. So, to prep po-
tential clients on the ins and outs
of lawyering, the American Bar Asso-
ciation has produced a 40-page book-
let that touches on everything from
wills to civil suits to defense against
a criminal charge. Available from the
Special Events Department, American
Bar Association, 77 South Wacker
Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60606. Single
copies one dollar, cheaper by the
hundreds.

prison, but the judge suspended all but
two years, making him eligible for parole
in less than a year. АП in all, I think
the kid got off pretty lucky.
John A. Duncan
Missoula, Montana
Considering the ill will and contro-
versy the Red Lodge "pot plantation”
case stirred up, we're inclined to agree.
You may recall that one of the defend-
ants, Lake Headley, was convinced ini-
tially that he was the object of the Red
Lodge case because of his previous tan-
gles with the authorities as а private
investigator. He now has decided, reluc-
tantly ("It hurts my ego a bit"), that the
DEA was after Wogamon all along and
that he just happened to be standing too
close to the target. Headley, incidentally,
has since been retained to investigate the
bombing murder of Arizona newsman
Don Bolles in an effort to reopen that
case with new evidence that could exon-
erate two of the men convicted for the
murder and sentenced to death.

THE YASKO FIASCO

Reading last December's Playboy
Casebook, A Close Call for Claudia
and being a native of Columbus, Ohio,
are reasons that prompt this letter.

Living in the city for more than 20
years, I learned the only thing of real
interest to Columbusites is football and
the antics of coach Woody Hayes. The
majority of the city’s residents are among
the most apathetic I have seen anywhere,
and very few of them were probably
even aware of the full details surround-
ing the Claudia Yasko fiasco.

Not only the Yasko and Jack Carmen
cases, the latter of which you mentioned
briefly in your article, but another recent
ading effort by the office of prose-
cutor George Smith point out the fact
that most law officials in Columbus are
out only for the quick conv

Even though an attempt was made to
obtain a quick guilty verdict and the end
of another case, justice triumphed. Per-
haps the law officials in Columbus and
Franklin County could better spend their
time by trying to solve several still-open
cases, instead of attempting to send in-
nocent persons to prison.

Mark E. Rodenfels
Jackson, Michigan

County prosecutor Smith was quite
miffed at eLAvsov's report оп the Yasko
case and took us to task in the Columbus
press for what he said was our failure to
get his side of the story. Since we've been
made aware of no errors or omis
we're still in the dark about any other
"side"; and during our investigation, we
were told by Smith's office that he was
either out of town or otherwise not avail-
able, We briefly met prosecuting attorney
James O'Grady, who said he could not

tion

iens,

3 nig. (icoung, N
1.3 то, nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Верон. IS 3 FULL- RICH
* hf К E TOBACCO FLAVOR

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

СНЕЕК

PLAYBOY

The soft, supple leather feels
great. . .and wraps snugly
around you. It lets the

Body Billfold pour into your

pocket. No lumps, no bulges |

... it keeps your silhouette —
sleek. . .cheek to cheek.

y Bio in Black Brass Cowhide Suggested rera! $15 50. Oter ine leathers om $8.00 and отет Body
Бие to 52250 Cali Volk res 800-447-4700 lor your nearest Amy dealer In nos. 800-222-4400. Or wite Ату

TO CHEEK.

NO FASTER WAX ON WHEELS,

It'll take your car from dull to dazzling in minutes.

comment on a case that was still under
litigation. So at least we tried. We did
talk at length with state, county and
city police officers, all but one of whom—
the detective who interrogated Claudia—
considered the case totally bungled and
the charges vidiculous but asked not to
be quoted. Incidentally, two brothers
who did not figure in the original investi-
galion have since been arrested and
indicted for several of the “.22-caliber
killings.”

PENIS SIZING, AND MORE

I just finished reading about Mrs. C.
Brown's unusual hobby of measuring
erect cocks, with the proval of her hus-
band (The Playboy Forum, December). I
have been casting around for a hobby of
my own and, thanks to Mrs. Brown, Гат
going to devote the remaining years of
my life (I'm 63) to measuring cunts. I
am not married, so I do not necd my
wife's approval on this.

Mrs. Brown claims she only measures
"from underneath the balls" which ap-
pears to be a simple, one-shot chore. My
hobby would be much more intricate,
even three-dimensional. I would have to
measure, in the interest of accuracy, for
length, width (or area?) and, finally,
depth.

I'm really excited about this new
hobby and I'd appreciate receiving any
expertise you or Mrs. Brown might hi
on the subject—to get me off on the
right leg, as it were.

Lee Mulrooney
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Mulrooney, ave you putting us on?

I would like to thank Mrs. C. Brown
of Los Angeles for making my day. I
had been told on several occasions I was
very well endowed (by one woman who
has seen more "dicks" than the Fourth
Precinct) but was still not sure of my
manhood

The тт лувоү horsemeasuring method
was fine, but where do you find hands
with inches on them? Anyway, I thought
I'd try both methods. With the rayvoy
method, 1 came up with two hands and
an enlarged head (got a little carried
away), which converted by ruler to eight
and a half inches. But, lo and behold,
with Mrs. Brown's method, I came up
with a whopping ten and a half inches.
Hooray!

Seriously now, Mrs. Brown, I know
imaginations get the best of pcople
sometimes, but do balls really count?

(Name withheld by request)
Richmond, Virginia

Throughout the ages, women of my
tribe have used the fist method for meas-
uring a brave's manhood. This is done
by making a fist around the male member

SHOWN. LITETRIM, ABOUT 520
"FULL REFUND COMFORT

GUARANTEE IS OESCRIBED ON
SHIRT HANGTAG u

M of the Vectra Corp.
Subscary of Chevron Chemical Co
for iti olefin ber

PLAYBOY

After dinner magic. Sambuca Romana, the spectacular liqueur, imported from

Italy end th ite Sambuca in th

à cordial,

епиге New World. S
n espres

0 or American coffee. 84 pf. For 68 other ideas,
let. Write Palmer & Lord, Ltd., Dept P-5,Syoset, МУ. 11791

rve it with coffee beans

PHOTOGRAPH GUY BOUROII

A fragrance for теп.

Parfums Lagerfeld» Paris

O 1978 Parfums Lagerfeld Inc.

on the belly side of its juncture with the
groin, Then another fist is made with the
other hand above the first, and so on, to
the head. Finger width
fractions.

I stand (angle corrected, outward bent)
at three fists, two fingers and am not, by
a handful, the most soughtafter stud
working off the reservations.

Joe Longhorse Hinderend
Albuquerque, New Mexico

es care of

The letter from the "size queen" from
Los Angeles really blew my mind! I can
even imagine her family singing Happy
Birthday while she whips out a tape
measure to sec if her son needs a pinch
to grow an inch.

Members of “the bigger, the better"
school conflict directly with those who
insist that size doesn't matter. In truth,
neither group is correct. In reality, the
more love there is, the less important size
becomes. But when you attend a group
grope, your interest is fixed on the crotch,
not the cranium. So if you are not really
interested in a person as an individual,
then grab your ruler (or other erect
member) and look for the longest dong
or the biggest tits or a baseball bat or
whatever tur

s you on.

Remember though, that anyone who
requires her potential husband or lover
to have a large loaf will no doubt marry
a big prick.

Grant M. zman
Sacramento, California

I read with some interest the letters
from Harvey Monder and Mrs. С. Brown
concerning penis length. It seems obvious
to me as a scientist that, if a nationwide
penis-length survey is to have any stati
tical validity, some standardization of
measuring technique is required:

Mrs. Brown's procedure of measuring
“from underneath the ball:
considered both inaccurate and irrelevant.
There is no consistent landmark in that
area from which one can measure short of
the anus. Likewise, your facetious propos-
al to use hands and fingers as units of
measurement may be stimulating, but it
lacks a cert
form to internationally defined standards.

Therefore, I would like to propose a
method of penis measurement that is
simple, fairly precise and easily repli-
cated. The penis should be fully erect,
though this method can һе used to
measure flaccid and scmierect. organs as
well (allowing, for instance, determina-
tion of change in size with respect to time
[25] when subject to different stimuli).
Holding the penis perpendicular to the
torso, place one end of a tape measure
firmly into the apex of the angle formed
by the penis and the torso, Measure the
upper surface of the penis along the mid-
line from the angle apex to the meatus

must be

n precision and doesn't con-

for added |
traction

for pure

CONVERSE

You'll get the one shoe that's right for your sport in these Converse Super
Stars 79... at participating THE ATHLETE'S FOOT stores. For tennis action
— the Chris Evert; for basketball traction — the All Star II; for cleated shoe
quick-reaction — the Tony Dorsett TD'S; and for running satisfaction the
World Class Trainer Il — rated 5 star in Runner's World 1979.

272 stores...nationwide
SPREADIN

Tg Athlete's Foot RED

‘our chain ot intarnationaiy

satisfaction

No one knows.
the athlete's foot like

Athlete's
еза Foot.

PLAYBOY

It takes a whole
collection of designers
to make a

Designer Collection

ike ours.» HA

There are many different designers
creating mens clothes these days, so a
man has every opportunity to go his
own way and create his own look.

Thats why we have a number
of different designers ourselves.

The result is a tremendous
range of styles in an equally
wide array of fine leathers, such
as our “burnished kidskin”
shown here, to make it easy for
you to find a Florsheim Designer
Collection shoe that will complement |
your choice of designer clothes.

„Апа since were Florsheim, we
make our Designer Collection styles
in the widest range of sizes
you can find.

Because making shoes
to fit your clothes is only
one part of” ae we do;
making shoes to

feet is the other.

The Brent,
with tassel or ornament
Also in black or gold

_ Florsheim Designer Collection

130 So. Canal Sc. Chicago. П 60606

For Free Style Brochure. Wate Florsheim. Dept AD 2.

(the opening
measurement
the base of the penis
again held at a 904
respect to the torso.
(Name withheld by request)
Hershey, Pennsylvania

t the tip). Circumferential
an likewise be taken at
h the p
ngle with

w enis

I realize this may be one of
ments on the leuer from M
but I had to laugh at her cl
measured 2500 erect cocks in her swing:
cer and found 15 percent of th

апу com-

Brown
she'd

ing с
measured up to 14 and a half inches, “i
sure from underneath the balls,

you mi
as I do.

Gadfrey, that's how you measure a
саг tail—from its asshole!

Let the lady (if she really exists) тту
reapplying her tailors tape to the rop
of the shaft and I guarantee she'll find
dramatic wholesale shrinkages in her
heroic figures.

Yours for scientific standards im sta-

tistics.
(Name withheld by request)
$an Francisco, California

Hello out there. Are ony of you get-
ling tired of the ongoing penis-size de-
bate? Our "Forum" letters try to reflect
reader vesponse on various subjects, but
on this subject, our loyal readers appear
insatiable. As suggested in the San Fran
cisco letter above, quite a few readers
doubt the existence of Mrs. С. Brown
and, in truth, we can never be sure that
апу given letter isn’t a leg pull. A Ta
coma correspondent chewed us out for
so insulting his intelligence and recom
mended that “whoever passed on this
one for publication should be flogged
briskly around the ears with one of those
ten-inch dongs the supposed writer goes
on about.” But the same 's mail
brought a follow-up letter on “The Hung
Jury” (“The Playboy Forum,” February)
complaining that we failed to publish the
address of the cock-measuring club he
represents (it’s against our policy to do
so) and advising that Mrs. Brown is a
renowned member of that organization
and known as ils mistress of measure
ments. Which in itself we'd have a hard
time believing, except that it is in
California.

Anyway, we'll let the May “Playboy
Forum" go down in the record books as
our Big Penis Issue (word emphasis ор
tional) and try 10 gel оп to other matters

next month,

“The Playboy Forum” offers the
opportunity for an extended dialog
between readers and editors of this
publication on contemporary. issues. Ad
dress all correspondence lo The Playboy
Forum, Playboy Building, 919 North
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Ilinois 60611

He knows where to wear his diamonds.

Your jeweler can show you other exciting trends in men's diamonds starting at about $300. The piece shown (enlarged for (кже is available for about
$1,450.00. Prices may change substantially due to differences in diamond quality and market conditions. Beers. A diamond is forever.

PLAYBOY

IMPORTED AND BOTTLED BY FRED L. MYERS & SON CO. BALTIMORE, МО.

“Last year I switched to rum.
This year I graduan to Myers’s rum?

White rums may be what you learn on. But
Myers's dark rum will advance your edu-
cation. It will teach you just how good tasting
rum can be. Because with Myers's Rum
you get a smoother, softer taste that comes
from master-blending and longer aging.

What makes Муегѕ% precious imported
rum cost more, makes Myers taste better.

In cola, soda. fruit juice or any of your
favorite mixers.

crn

MYERS'S MAKES IT BETTER. Taste how Myers's PUE es qn cola, soda.tonic. Free Recipe Book:

Myers's Rum, Р.О. Box 1622, FDR Station. New York, NY.

с 10025. Offer éxpirés December 31. 1980.

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: WENDY/ WALTER CARLOS

a candid conversation with the “switched-on bach” composer who, for the
first time, reveals her sex-change operation and her secret life as a woman

In the past decade, practically every
sexual taboo has fallen; if not legally,
at least as a subject of discussion. Homo-
sexuality, bisexuality, transvestism, S/M
and public sex are now part of ouv pub-
lic consciousness. Amidst all these
changes, though, there is one thing that
never changes: А man is а man and a
woman, а woman, Correct that: seldom
changes.

Christine Jorgensen was the first io
shake the gender-identity status quo
when, back in 1950, she left the United
States а George and returned from
Copenhagen a full-skirted, full-busted,
almost fully equipped Christine. News
accounts made hay with the new blonde
in town and night-club comics had a field
day. Christine persevered, kind of settled
down to a life of middle-class domes-
ticity, playing maiden aunt in Southern
California, occasionally making TV ap-
pearances or showing ир on the college
lecture circuit, But, actually, little was
heard from the sex-change field until a
couple of years ago, when Renee Rich-
ards, a male ophthalmologist who had
switched sexes in mid-life, suddenly chal-
lenged the tennis world with her back-
hand and was, in turn, challenged
because her equipment was that of a

“1 remember being convinced I was а
little girl, not knowing why my parents
didn't see it clearly. 1 didn't understand
why they insisted on treating me like а
little boy."

woman but her genes and her strength
that of aman.

Renee, Christine and Jan Morris (for-
merly a rugged reporter for the London
Times, married, the father of four before
his sex change) were relatively obscure
folk until transsexual surgery flashed
them into the spotlight. That was not
the case with Walter Carlos, who is com-
ing ош of the transsexual closet with
this interview.

Carlos was born on November 11,
1939, in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. He
took up the piano at six, went on to
study music and physics at Brown Uni-
versity and earned a masters in music at
Columbia. One of his teachers there was
the pioneer electronic composer Vladi-
mir Ussacheusky. A year Before gradua-
tion, Carlos began collaborating with
engineer Robert Moog. Their vision was
to produce an instrument whose sound
was as expressive as the piano’s: It was to
be an instrument that grew out of what
had gone before, much as the piano grew
out of the clavichord. The synthesizer
was the result. Unlike the piano or the
electric organ, one had to perform a si
gle note at a time on the synthesizer,
searching for the right timbre and its
right adjustment, then combine many

“Being a transsexual makes me а barom-
eter of other people's comfort with
themselves. People who aren't. sexually
at peace with themselves tend to be
uptight around me.”

performances of the individual colors
and musical lines, using multitrack stu-
dio practices. To work it most effectively,
one had to be a conductor, performer,
composer, acoustician and instrument
builder. Carlos was all of those.

Designer Moog, who manufactured the
synthesizer, gives Carlos all the credit,
“Walter used techniques that had been
available for years—but used them
better.”

In 1967, Carlos met Rachel Elkind, а
former singer and secretary to the late
Goddard Licberson, head of Golumbia
Records. Elkind was a kind of Gertrude
Stein 10 talented musicians, an Earth
Mother, a constructive force. Columbia
had just launched a “Bach to Rock” cam-
paign without having a single recording
of Bach with a contemporary sound in
its library. So Elkind and Carlos put to-
gether their “virtuoso electronic perform-
ances” of the best of Bach. Rachel took
the master cut to Columbia, Shortly
after, an artist designed a record jacket
with a slapstick portrait of the great
composer, foppishly clad, a pair of ear-
phones in one hand. Behind Bach was
Carlos’ synthesizer.

The album was called “Switched-On

PHOTOGRAPHY BY VERNON L. SMITH

“Stanley Kubrick didn’t know about me
when I did the score for ‘A Clockwork
Orange.’ He was so intense on the proj-
есі that if Ра come in stark-naked, he'd
probably just have asked if 1 were cold.”

PLAYBOY

Bach” and it became a commercial suc-
Over 1,000,000 copies were sold,
making it the largest-selling classical al-
bum of the decade. Newsweek devoted a
full page to Carlos, running a photograph
of him at his instrument and captioning
it, “Plugging into the Steinway of the
future."

"SOB; as the album came to be
known, was followed in 1969 by "The
Well Tempered Synthesizer,” containing
more Bach, plus commentary by Elkind,
“enginecred” by Carlos. By 1971, Carlos
had abandoned his tiny Moog-dominated
apartment on New York's West End
Avenue and moved into Elkind's roomy
West Side brownstone. The house had
been almost completely renovated, with
an entire floor transformed into a superb
recording studio containing perhaps the
most elaborate and sophisticated elec-
tronic-music laboratory in the country.
Carlos could produce his albums at
home. All he had to do was walk down
two flights of stairs from his bedroom to
the basement. And his producer—Rachel
Elkind
friendship was—and continues to be—
strictly Platonic.

Columbia, meanwhile, signed them
both to an exclusive record contract. On
“Walter Carlos by Request,” Carlos tack-
led Lennon, McCarine Tchaikovsky
and Bacharach. His rendition of “What's
New, Pussycat?” meowed and screeched:
The synthesizer, it seemed, could emulate
almost any sound, including the whim-
perings of an alley cat. With cach record,
the popularity of the synthesizer in-
creased. Gradually, it was replacing the
clectric guitar as the most widely used
electronic instrument in recording studios.

The next logical step was films.

In 1971, Elkind heard that Stanley
Kubrick was planning to direct “A Cloch-
work Orange; based on Anthony Bur-
gess’ bizarre, violent, futuristic novel. She
called Kubrick's attorney and suggested
that Kubrick consider the synthesizer as
@ novel way of scoring his movie. “The
attorney said he'd get our stuff to Kubrick
via air freight,” recalls Elkind, “I sent
him ‘Switched-On Bach’ and ‘The Well-
Tempered Synthesizer’ Kubrick's assist-
ant called a few days later. He asked if
we could come to England immediately.
Two days later, we were оп а flight.”

What eventually resulted was a sound
track that The New York Times lauded.
“As sheer music,” its critic wrote, “И is a
giant step past the banalities of most
contemporary film tracks.”

If real life were to follow a 1940 movie
musical, Walter Carlos and Rachel El-
kind would have had the world at their
fect. They'd have fallen in love, married,
produced babies and records and lived.
happily ever after. But the problems in
Carlos’ personal life reached a climax
just about the time ihat “A Clockwork

cess

was always there, though their

Orange” was shocking moviegoers around
the country. In a drama that could easily
have been wrilten into "Clockwork's"
surrealistic scenario, Walter Carlos un-
deruent a sex-change operation.

He dropped out of sight. He became
а phantom figure, living in his own
version of the opera house, Rachel's
brounstone-cum-recording studio. He
diversified his interests: building a com-
puter, becoming a member of a club
that chased eclipses, photographing the
cosmos with a professionalism that as-
founded astronomers. Although he con-
tinued to record, as well as compose,
Carlos had little contact with those in
the business of synthesizing music, the
business that he had pioneered.

All kinds of excuses were made to keep
his new identity under wraps. After all,
transsexuality may be the last of the

Walter Carlos, before his transsexual oper-
ation, poses for a 1969 publicity photograph.

sexual taboos and is not a topic one dis-
cusses at the breakfast table, especially if
the transsexual’s music is being played
on the radio.

Walter is now Wendy. The name
change became official this year on Val-
entine's Day, February 14. This is the first
interview the former Walter Carlos has
given in seven years. The conversations
were conducted for PLAYBOY by author
and columnist Arthur Bell during Decem-
ber 1978 and January 1979. Bell's report:

“It was Elly Stone who put me on to
Wendy. Elly is best known for her work
in ‘Jacques Brel Is Alive and Well and
Living in Paris.’ She's an ‘art’ singer, a
meticulous musician with а wide variety
of acquaintances in the business.

“Two winters ago, Elly phoned to ask
a bit of journalistic advice. She had this

friend, a well-known figure who had
undergone a sex-change operation. The
friend, she said, was thinking of spilling
the beans, of quietly stepping out of the
closet. ‘She is toying with the idea of a
feature interview somewhere; Stone said,
“but wants someone who is simpatico to
do it. Would you be interested?”

“I said I'd be interested if Elly's trans-
sexual friend were interesting. Gould she
set up a mecting?

“А year passed. No meeting. Last fall,
however, T received a phone call from
Rachel Elkind. ‘I'm a friend of Elly
Stone's, she began, ‘and Wendy and 1
would very much like to meet you and
discuss an article we have in mind? Al-
though Rachel didn't identify Wendy, 1
knew by then that Wendy Carlos was
the former Waller Carlos, Elly's still-in-
the-closet transsexual friend,

“We began in the late fall of 1978.
Our first session look place in the liv-
ing room of their brownstone. Wendy
perched on the edge of a chair. She bit
at her cuticles. Rachel sat to my left.
She, too, was edgy, This was not to be a
movie-star type of profile. I was privy to
a confidence, and how I presented this
confidence to millions of readers was
bound to affect both of their lives. Even-
tually, because Wendy and I felt in-
hibited, Rachel stayed away.

“The sessions continued at their
house. Inadvertently, there were little
power plays between Wendy and me.
When she was in the drivers seat,
she thought the sessions were wonderful.
The few times when I acted tough re-
porter were the sessions she didn’t like at
all. Sure, she knew all the answers, but
to nail Wendy down was a problem. Га
often have to listen to cosmic ramblings
before she'd come up with specifics. The
ramblings were relevant to Wendy but
irrelevant to the interview.

“On Christmas Fue, 1 was hit by a
cab. In New York, that isn’t big news,
but to survive with only a sprained knee
and bruises is, The doctor insisted that I
slay in bed for a few days. So, instead of
my visiling Wendy, Wendy came to me.

“She showed up at my apartment wear-
ing a skirt (the first time I'd seen her in
one), a silk blouse and a peasant cont,
the kind you see їп ihe windows of
Henri Bendel. Absolutely stunning. Amy
subliminal thoughts I previously had
about Wendy's being a man in а wom-
an's body went the way of all flesh.

“My wretched condition brought out
the maternal in her. She was a veritable
Florence Nightingale, propping pillows
boiling water, giving sage advice and
issuing stern warnings. 1 was to take care
of myself, you sec, and поі move from
the apartment until my leg was better.
In the meantime, she would come to me.

“We bounced off cach other's vulner-
ability that afternoon. 1 took advantage

U.S. GOVERNMENT
REPORT:
CARLTON LOWEST.

Carlton claim confirmed.

Many cigarettes are using national This same report confirms of all
advertising to identify themselves as “low brands, Carlton Box to be lowest with less
tar?’ Consumers, however, should find out than 0.5 mg. tar and 0.05 mg. nicotine.

just how low these brands are—or aren't.
Based on U.S. Government Report:
14 Carltons, Box or Menthol, have less

tar than опе Vantage: /
un чш с Menthol, have less Can fi on

AIRSTREAM FILTER

tar than one Merit.

11 Carltons, Box or Menthol, have less
tar than one Kent Golden Lights.

6 Carltons, Box or Menthol, have less
tar than one True.

The tar and nicotine content per ciga- I
rette of selected brands was:
tar nicotine
mg mg
Vantage 1 08
Merit 8 06 “т LESS THAN 1 MG
Kent Golden Lights 8 0.7 Ё
Tue 5 0.4
Carlton Soft Pack 101
Carlton Menthol lessthan 1 0.1
Carlton Box Jess than 0.5 0.05

LOWEST... Less than
1 mg. “tar; 0.1 mg. nicotine.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking ls Dangerous to Your Health. | Box. Less than 0.5 mg. "tar", 0.05 mg. nicotine; Saft Pack and Menthol
1 mg. "tar", 0.1 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette-FTC Report May 78

Killer!

That's a Jensen car audio system.
That the thrill of being there.

You've got to want the best. The max in
music. The Killer. Then there's only one way
to go.

- The Jensen R430 car stereo receiver teamed
with a Jensen Separates speaker system.

Tt all starts in the R430 Receiver. The
AM/FM Stereo/Cassette unit that rivals many
home receivers. Feather-touch electronic
Switches control Dolby* Noise Reduction,
Loudness, Interstation Muting, and Local/
Distance FM tuning.

A separate, trunk-mounted Power Amp.
gives you up to 60 watts RMS when you
need it. The Bi-amplification mode distributes
that power perfectly for knock-out realism.

More? Lots more. But look what the
R430 teams up with.

The Jensen Separates. The revolutionary
car speaker system that gives a faultless in-
terpretation of everything the R430 sends it.

Imagine individual woofers, tweeters,
and midrange units custom positioned
throughout your car... for unparalleled sound
reproduction. Coupled with an under-dash
control unit that lets you balance the music to
your personal taste. That’s the Separates.

ouch the “Bi-Amp” switch on the R430
Receiver and each individual woofer, tweeter
and midrange gets the precise frequency
range and power to put you right in the concert.

This system's a killer. That's the Jensen
R430 Receiver and Separates.

That's the thrill oh being there.

The thrill of being there.

For more information, write Jensen Sound Laboratories.
4136 №. United Parkway, Schiller Park, Illinois 60176.

Dolby" and "Dolby System" are registered trademarks of
Dolby Laboratories, Inc:

u don't have to be a perfectionist

to use the perfectionist's tape. -

If you're like most people, you love
music but you don't want to get too in-
volved with the technical end of sound
reproduction. And you may have a
friend who is really into hi fi, your
trusted adviser on such matters.
Audio perfectionists like your friend
have made TDK SA the number one-
selling high bias cassette in America
If you ask him, he'll tell you that SA.
is the high bias reference standard;
most quality manufacturers won't let
a deck leave the factory unless it's
© 1979 1k Electonics

been tested and set up to sound its best
with SA. He'll tell you that TDK
cassettes are backed by hi fi's original
full lifetime warranty.*

Then he'll go into a long-winded
speech about super- precision mecha-
nisms, cobalt-adsorbed gamma-ferric
oxide formulations, and the like. Don't.
worry if you don't understand every-
thing he's talking about. Just record
your favorite music on an SA cassette
and see if it doesn't sound better than
the cassette you're now using.

Then you will know why more
perfectionists use SA than any other
tape. TDK Electronics Corp., Garden
City, NY 11530.

“Inthe unlikely event that any TOK cassette exer fails
1o perlorm due to a defect in materials or workmanship.
simply return it lo your local dealer or to TOK lor a free.

replacement.

BT DK.

The machine for your machine.

and asked her to describe the transsex-
ual operation, which she'd. resisted in
earlier sessions,

This time, she described the tucking
away of male-genitalia skin, the disposal
of testicles, utterly without emotion, as
if she were lecturing on the best way to
prune an avocado tree. Her descriptions
were concise, 100, without the weighty
explanations that usually surrounded
her theories on music.

“The last time I saw Wendy Carlos
was in late January. The tapes had been
transcribed. Eight hundred pages of
manuscript sat in two folders on a table
in my living voom, waiting to be edited.
She looked at the transcripts. Her face
turned white.

“I's real, she whispered. ‘It’s no joke
anymore

PLAYBOY: Let's set the scene for our read-
cis. As Walter Carlos, you were a well-
known composer and a pioneer in the
field of electronic music. In 1972, after
crossdressing for a number of years, you
underwent a sexual operation and
became a female—Wendy Carlos. Since
thar date, you've kept the operation a
secret. from all but a few close friends
iety of subterfuges,
e the idea that a male Wal-
ter Carlos still exists. Why have you
chosen this time and place to come out?
CARLOS: Well, I’m scared, I'm very fright
ened. І don’t know what effect this is
going to have. I fear for my friends;
we're going to become targets for the
wrath of those who judge what Гус done
as, in moral terms, evil, in medical terms,
sic sult on the human body, I'm
also afraid from the musical standpoint.
It may prevent me from being taken
seriously in.

But T've gotten tired of lying. I think
that in the past couple of years, the dan-
gers of allowing the public to know
about me haye lessened. The climate has
changed and the time is ripe. With the
appearance of this interview. my friends
won't have to Не and dissemble for me
anymore.

PLAYBOY: Why speak out in this for
CARLOS: I've been looking for the right
forum and have considered all the op-
tions, PrAYmoY is ideal. The magazine
has always been concerned with libera-
tion, and I'm anxious to liberate myself.
PLAYBOY: How many people know about
your situation?

CARLOS: Aside from Rachel—she's my
closest friend and the woman with whom
I live—there were five or six people at
first. More now. When I told one of them
1 was doing this, he suggested I might
become PLaynoy’s first transsexual cen-
terfold, [Laughs]

PLAYBOY: Do your parents know about
CARLOS: They know about the operation,
though they haven't accepted it. We

I'syourone and
only vacation.
Make sure yov're
going to
the right place.

Its free! Send now for our80-page vacation-of-c-lifetime book.

- үз @) You know you're headed in the right
"Yes, Canada! ==> SirCanada® direction when you're aiming for
ا‎ » Canada. Whether its big city
hustle-bustle you’re after, the dazzle
of the towering Rockies, or the
simple peace of wide open spaces,
Canada’s got it all!

You get more for your money,
too. That's right. While the value of
the U.S. dollar is declining almost
everywhere else in the world, in

WEN Canada it’s actually on the rise.
= And this year Air Canada’s
wrapped up such incredible tour
packages, there’s a pleaser for
everyone in the crowd. We've
even added apartments and villas
for rent on many of our city tours. Or for those
seeking more adventure, have we gota raft tour for you!
So before you decide where to spend your one and only vacation
this year, be sure to send for our free 1979 “ Yes, Canada!” brochure.
Just mail us the coupon and we'll send you the vacationof a lifetime.
When you come to Canada, you can pay ( ==

The American Express Card? Don't leave home without it"
SS MÀ ——MÀ— MÀ MÀÀ
1 Vacation Dept., Р.О. Box P, Staten Island, N.Y. 10305
| Yes! I want to be sure I’m going to the right place. Please rush me I
1 my free copy of “Yes, Canada!”
| Name_
Į City.
{ My travel agent is.

i — AIR CANADA @ ,,

Street.
State.

72in

Ll2-2----

PLAYBOY

haven't seen one another for ten years.
They still call me Walter. Obviously, I'l
be telling them about this before the
interview appears. We're not close, but
I don't wish to hurt them.

PLAYBOY: Let's start with a basic question:
What is a transsexual?

CARLOS: Dy most definitions, it's a person
who is born with the physical character-
istics of one gender but who identifies in
every way with the opposite gender and
seek an operation to complete that
identification. Although I was born male,
from my earliest days I've felt female,
and the conflict finally became so terri-
ble I had to take the ultimate step—to
become a female in body as well as in
mind. Incidentally, I wish the word trans-
sexual hadn't become current. Trans-
gender is a better description, because
sexuality per se is only one factor in the
spectrum of feclings and needs that led
me to this step.

PLAYBOY: So transsexuals aren't necessar-
ily former homosexuals?

CARLOS: No. There are as many straights
as gays. It’s important to dilferentiate
between choices of sexual preference—
which could be hetero, bi or homo—and
transsexuality, which is a matter of gen-
der identification.
PLAYBOY: How тапу
there?

CARLOS: In my conscrvative estimate, be-
tween 10,000 and 20,000 in the United
States. Probably one third of those are in
New York City, because of the medical
facilities, There may be 30,000 or more
world-wide.
PLAYBOY: This may be an odd way of
putting it, but. .. when you were a little
boy, when did you first feel like a little
girl?

CARLOS: Not odd

transsexuals are

1. This can become
P-
s=

a bit confusing. My awareness of it ha

pens to be one of my first memor
when I was about five or six and didn't
even know there was a real difference
between boys and girls. It scemed to me
the only differences were the length of
hair and, to some extent, the d of
clothing kids wore. And I remember
being convinced 1 was a little girl, much
preferring long hair and girls’ clothes,
and not knowing why my parents didn't
see it clearly. I didn’t understand why
they insisted on treating me like a little
boy. But I wanted them to love me and
1 felt that if I behaved the way 1 wanted
то, I would lose their love—so 1 began
hiding my feclings at a very early age.
When you think about it, that’s a pretty
ute observation for a youngster to
make.

I remember, when 1 was five, staring
out my window at a little girl who was
ing with her foster family next door.
he wasn't dressed like a little girl, but
she had long hair. The family was poorer
than mine, but I envied her. I thought it
would be bliss, having long Пай

PLAYBOY: Did you play with dolls and
wear girls’ clothing?
CARLOS: Yes. Today, of course, children
are urged to play with all sorts of toys,
but back then, it was very stratified. I
always had more than my share of stulfed
animals—rabbits and Teddy bears—and
those were my surrogate dolls, which I
kept much longer than I should have.
I ako remember stealing my mother's
clothes, going to bed in them when I
about six, Little jokes would be made
about how much T loved my parents
because I'd go to bed in their clothes,
but the fact that it was my mother's
clothes—never my father's—passed with-
ош comment.
By the time I was ten, it became hard-
it, but occasionally,
a piece of my mother
to the cellar when no one was
home and wear Шу, 1 found
other ways of ny need. Id
draw pictures of myself very accurate
portraits of my face—then erase the short.
hair and draw longer hair, along with a

was

sneak
down

“After puberty, my condi-
tion became more and more
hellish, and by late adoles-
сепсе, as I became more

masculine, I began to hate

my body.... It sounds so
mad, doesn't it?”

touch of lipstick, to sce how I'd look as
a woman.

PLAYBOY: Did your parents ever catch you
dressing in your mother’s clothes?

CARLOS: A few times. They'd make up
excuses, such as, "Walter's practicing for
Halloween,’
PLAYBOY: Did they ever reprimand you?
CARLOS: I'm sure they did. It was such an
emotional time, whenever I was discov-
ered. I remember very well my heart
pounding and my throat muscles tighten-
ing and the dryness in my mouth. I
would think, Oh, God, they're going to
find out I'm one of those weird kids and
they're going to withhold their love from
me. I was very guiltridden,

PLAYBOY: How did other children treat
you
CARLOS: I preferred playing with litle
girls, so I'd get plenty of raspberries from
some of the more tightassed boys. The
boys in the playground would yell,
“Carlos is a sissy!” in that singsong minor
key that children always use. I always
preferred art and music to rough-and-
tumble play, and I wasn't any good at

boys" sports. Boys would lie in wait and
then jump me. I never fought if I could
avoid it—only to put my hands over my
head when kids would throw stones at
me, or punch me, or stuff like that. I
remember cradling my schoolbooks in
my arms and getting teased about it, so I
learned to balance the books on my hip,
the way boys were supposed to.

Later on, in high school, the problem
reached a peak. I was feared, because the
kids knew I didn't go to school dances,
and was completely stigmatized. I re-
member that they'd goose me. Sometimes
I'd be walking up the stairs and I'd feel
a finger up my ass. They started using
terms like pansy and fairy. Naive me, I
didn't quite know what those terms
meant, but I knew what they implied.

Actually, there were two sides to it.
Some of the boys who would put me down
and say I was really odd would never-
theless value me as someone special, be-
cause I could play the piano well. They
became protective, and proved their
machismo, as if I were а fragile piece of
porcelain.

PLAYBOY: Do you remember
sics that were specifical
CARLOS: No, my fantasies were more sen-
suous than sexual. Like cuddling. Or the
love of silk or satin rubbing against my
skin. But as far as sex goes, it’s am:
how little I thought—or knew—about
sexual matters of any kind.

PLAYBOY: What were your interests at
school?

CARLOS: I was a bright kid and
a lot. І loved numbers and arithmetic,
all the sciences. Music and art. too. I
fancied myself becoming an astronomer.
had some talents, things
үз terrible for me at school.
"There were other kids who were equally
uncomfortable their classmates,
and I was able to entertain children with
little comedy routines, writing le
plays, that sort of thing.

PLAYBOY: Did the conflict in your mind
increase as you grew olde
CARLOS: Yes. By puberty, it became hard-
ct to suppress. I was no longer а you
ster and was beginning to look moi
masculine. One of my biggest trauma
was having to shave, though I was for-
tunate that I matured late. Putting on
boys’ trousers was hard for me, рес;
always had a big ass. I ended up wea
baggy clothes.

PLAYBOY: Was there a period when you
tried to deny your feeling
CARLOS: Yes. At some point during my
teenage years, I tried to pretend they
didn't exist. I told myself I didn't have
all those inclinations, that I was straight,
normal, that I was going to date and get
married. I put up a great battle. But by
the time I got through high school. the
feelings were there, stronger than ever.
PLAYBOY: Whit was college like?

orbed

around

і
Ж
n

'. w'oospueij ues ‘suet aul элезе|

PLAYBOY

PolyGlass your car!

New miracle Polymer "Glass" Sealant completely protects
you car's exterior finish — it even restores original luster to used models!

Available only as a service by new car
dealers for $100-$200. Now do it yourself
in less than an hour for only $29.95.

(16 oz. bottle, enough for 3 cars.)

The elements vs. your once beautiful car... You've
probably experienced it. Your treasured, shiny new
automobile gradually fades and dulls. The once brilliant
finish turns chalky and washed out. Even hours of
waxing and buffing can't recapture that new car
look... Until this new chemical science discovery...

Never wax your car again... Poly-GloSeal* is not
anything like a simple wax or polish. It is actually a
miracle polymer glass formulation serving as a powerful
sealant and a beautiful exterior finish. When applied
lightly to your car's finish and chrome its exclusive
Electromolecular Action literally fuses it to the surface,
locking in luster anda brilliant shine, almost laminating
itself to your car for years...shutting out harmful sun,
rain, pollution, salt, detergents and other elements that
normally ruin the appearance and value of your car

Prevents oxidation from starting on new cars... and
actually removes it from used models! Poly-GloSeal* is literally a
Glass Shield that becomes part of your car's finish. Your new car's
paint is simply not allowed to oxidize. .. for 3 Year! Then PolyGloss* it
again for years more of protection. If your car is not new, Poly-
GloSeal* will actually remove the oxidation, add gloss, and stop
further oxidation for 1 year before you need to apply again. It is
similar to covering your car with a non-penetrable coat of polyurethane.

Enamel spray paint can't even get through the clear glass
shield... When this new professional automotive product is demon-
strated to car dealers the "spray paint test" is used. Poly-GloSeal* is
applied to a car's hood. After it dries it is wiped off and a can of
enamelspray paint is sprayed directly onit, along with Magic Marker
and other solvents. Then the observers are astonished as all of these
are wiped off the hood with a mere cloth. Nothing, rot even dirtand
dust can adhere to the surface! * Trademark

Poly-GloSeal* makes
standard waxes and
polishes obsolete!

No rubbing, labor or buffing equipment needed
...Poly-GloSeal* goes on easily and quickly. You wipe
it on with a cloth, let it dry, and then wipe it off. It takes
only a few minutes — less than an hour. The main
ingredients are Polyglass*, another substance similar
to Teflon®, and a minimal amount of silicone to ease in
wiping it on. (Also highly recommended fcr boats and
airplanes), Between washes you need only wipe your
car with a damp cloth to reactivate its brilliant dirt and
dust-repelling shine.

The incredible Poly-GloSeal* “Brilliance Guar-
antee"... If after using it, you are not pleased for any
reason, return the unused portion within 3 weeks of
receipt for а prompt refund of the entire purchase
price. Further, if Poly-GloSeal* does not protect your
new car for 3 years or your used car (90 days old or
more) for 1 year, write and tellus. We'll take your word.
for it, and return your small investment on a pro-rated
basis. However, due to the extraordinary quality of this
fully-tested product, we are confident that this would
not be likely. (Note: Poly-GloSeal* is 100% safe to use
— it can also be removed with mineral spirits).
CALL TOLL-FREE FOR INSTANT PROCESSING: 1-800-235-
6945. . Calif. res. call: 805-966-7187. Or send coupon: L ____
Please promptly ship the following order for Poly GloSeal И not 100% pleased alter
using it on my car, 1 can return the unused portion within 2 weeks for an unquestioned.
quick refund of purchese price (less shipping charge) Check One:

116 oz, Bottle @ 32895 (plus $2 shipping and handling) ва Or

@ $24 95 (plus$2 shipping and handling) ea.

Check or Money Order enclosed (CA res add 6% sales taz).
E] Charge my credit card number below.

D BarkAmencard/Visa 07 Master Charge (interbank Мо)
D Ame D Diners Club rte Blanche

Credit Card No. —Exp. Date

Name =

Address.

City/State/Zip.

Starshine Group.

924 Anacapa St., Dept. 761, Santa Barbara, CA 93101

1979 Starshine, Inc.

INCLUDING:

REMOVABLE SUNROOF
SPECIAL RACING STRIPE
FOG LIGHTS

ELECTRIC OUTSIDE MIRRORS
STABILIZER BARS

SPORTS STEERING WHEEL
VELOUR CARPETING
LIGHT ALLOY WHEELS
3-WAY SPEAKER SYSTEM
MANUAL ANTENNA
5-SPEED OR AUTOMATIC
TRANSMISSIO!

OE +AUDI

NOTHING EVEN COMES CLOSE

THE LIMITED EDITION Sebring 7® ONLY 1292 AVAILABLE.

PORSCHE 924

CARLOS: Academically, it was stimulating,
because I pursued my interest in music,
which would eventually become my ca-
reer. But otherwise, it was anguish. It
became more and more difficult to block
my feelings. 1 was at Brown University
and I remember going out on a date with
a girl. 1 was so jealous of her I was
ally beside myself, Y became alienated
from my college peers—both men and
women—and it became a kind of mental
torture, T felt set apart. I felt that nature
had made a cruel mistake, That's a
cliché, but it's how I felt. Extreme con-
fusion, From time to time, I was able to
repress it and—I don't know, maybe I
thought I'd close my eyes one day and
then suddenly wake up and find I was
a woman.

PLAYBOY: So by the time you were in col-
lege, you were definitely
CARLOS: Here's what it was: After pu-
berty, my condition became more and
more hellish, and by late adolescence, as
1 started to become more masculine, 1
began to hate my body, my corpus.
It sounds so mad, doesn't it? I feel myself
10 be a somewhat bright, fairly introspec-
tive person, normal in many ways, yet
ат these words, I sound like a mad-
woman to myself!

PLAYBOY: When you dated in college, how
did you handle sex?

CARLOS: I had no sex life at all. Any
friends I had were totally Platonic
friends. People knew I had no interest
in hetero- or homo- or any other kind of
sex. They just accepted that in me. Pm.
cmb; sed to admit I wasn't even able
to bring myself to explore masturbation.

I first masturbated as a woman, many
years later, in 1974.

PLAYBOY; Were you conscious of your
appearance?

CARLOS: I hated the way T looked. Т tried
never to look in a mirror. І wouldn't
look at my body when I bathed. Oh, I'd
check in a mirror occasionally to make
sure my tie was on straight, or that the
haircut I'd gotten wouldn't give away my
aberration. 1 was always having slight
paranoid fears that I could be too easily
spotted as some kind of sexual subdeviate.
PLAYBOY: Did you go out of your way to
look invisible, or even unattractive?
CARLOS: Yes. І always wore formless, in-
conspicuous clothes, My mother, bless
her heart, unconsciously picked out ward-
robes for me that would conceal my
body. I stuck to an extremely conserva-
tive line. Very often I wore bow ties—
that was my one act of personality and
individuality.

PLAYBOY: Were your college days all
anguish?

CARLOS: No, not at all. I've got to be
careful that I don't attack my background
as being wholly destructive. Certainly,
those years devastated me as far as inter-
personal relationships were concerned.

But they might have encouraged my
work—my escape into the world of
thought and music and science and tech-
nology. By the time 1 got into work
involving the Moog synthesizer in my
early 20s, my efforts were really quite
polished. So maybe that is why T finally
became successful.

PLAYBOY: Can you pinpoint a time when
you decided to do something about your
feelings?

CARLOS: It was in the fall of 1962, when 1
came to New York as a graduate student.
at Columbia. 1 become extremely
despondent, and the idea of suicide was
becoming stronger and stronger in me.
‘There was a period, perhaps a little later
than that, when I was daily taking a
razor to my wrists and wondering. . . .
Anyway, that first year at Columbia, I
made а list of the things I needed to do
with my life if I were going to survive.
And at the top of the list was to find
some doctor, someplace, who would help
me change my sex. Whatever that meant.
At the time, I was just putting pieces:
together, only dimly becoming aware

“The idea of suicide was be-
coming stronger. ...I made
a list of things I needed.
to do to survive. Atthe
top of the list was to find
some doctor who would
help me change my sex.”
—————

that 1 might not be the only person in
the world who felt the way I did.
PLAYBOY: How did you become aware
of that?

CARLOS: І remember seci

books and

run across books, or book chapters

early cases of transsexuals, Tt was а very
lonely period of my life. Some nights I'd
just jump on a subway and get out at
th Avenue and walk up and down the
streets. I began to know, and to love,
New York City. І began to widen my
horizons gradually, mecting a few more
people. It didn't exactly take my mind
off my transsexuality, but my growing
interest in clectronic music took a real
leap in that period. I got particularly
close to one person, one of my music
professors at Columbia, Vladimir Ussa-
chevsky. He is really the pioncer of
American electronic musi
PLAYBOY: Did he encourage you?

CARLOS: Yes. I'd been experimenting with
taped music, multiple tacks, that sort of
thing, and he made the suggestion that

I get a job in a recording studio, 1 was
already beginning to compose, but it was
he who suggested I support myself by
working on the technical, cnginecring
side of music, A year or two later, I made
some demos of some of the electronic
stuff I was composing and even moved
into the arca of pop music, jingles.
PLAYBOY: Is that when you began to work
with the Moog synthesizer?

CARLOS: Yes. By 1966, I was working with
1 Moog. There were several
nies that did sound effects and mu-
sic for TV commercials, and 1 was help-
ing them on a free-lance basis, earning
anywhere from $100 to $1000 a job. It
t until I met my friend Rachel that
someone had the courage to tell me I
should be doing more than fooling
around with pop songs and commercials.
PLAYBOY: Was Rachel the one who urged
you to apply your electronic skills to
serious music?

CARLOS: Yes. I'm afraid pop music lost
some really bad potential hits. But it was
the beginning of the best period of pop
music pout
‘65 through '67. Even though I worked
on electronic versions of classical music,
1 collected a lot of albums from that
period—the Beatles, the Mamas and the
Papas, the Association, Simon and Gar-
funkel. In those creative times, the
synthesizer was a rare thing. To my
knowledge, there were only three pra
tioners of the Moog synthesizer when I
began. People couldn't even pronounce
the word-—synthesizer. I remember when
we were putting together my Switched-
On Bach album, some of the producers
didn’t want us to use the word.
PLAYBOY: We've moved to the middle
ties, when your career was rising, but you
were beginning to pick up the pieces
of what you needed to do personally—
get а sex change. What steps led up to
that?

CARLOS: I finally read a book by Dr.
ту Benjamin called The Transsexual

Ha
Phenomenon. 1 was still in bad shape
personally, still feeling suicidal. Dr. Ben-
jamin’s book was the first to. give adc-
quate coverage to the psychical needs,
the emotionality, the personal descrip-
tions of other people who shared my
strange condition. I realized from the
book that transsexualism was fairly rare
but that at least there were others
like me. It gave me a little more courage
to accept myself and stop suppressing my
feelings, and, indeed, it provided an cx-
planation for all the alienated feelings
Га had since my earliest memories. I'd
been to some psychiatrists, but without
much in the way of results. So at some
point in the fall of 1967, 1 summoned
the courage to call the Benjamin Founda-
tion and make an appointment.

PLAYBOY: What happened next?
CARLOS: I began consultations

with the

doctors there and had to face the fact
that at least some people were going to
have to know my deep, dark secret. By
early 1968, the doctors began to prescribe
estrogen, progesterone and pituitary hor-
mones as a possible way of “curing” me

FADING of the syndrome. I didn't go in demand-
ing an immediate sex-change operation.

There was a lot of talking first about
OXIDATION alternative methods of dealing with one’s
condition, a lot of looking at the evi-
dence.
PLAYBOY: How did you assess the evidence
in your casc?
CARLOS: At first, I was confused, I thought
I had to come up with physical proof.
But then 1 realized the proof was within
myself, The only evidence I had was the
history of my feelings. Certainly, Га
never seen any lines of people at Radio
City Music Hall waiting to become mem-
bers of the opposite sex. Specifically,
though, the realization was that I felt
myself to be a woman whenever I saw
a woman of similar build or looks. It had
created a psychic pain within me that
stopped me from being able to think or
function in any fashion for very long
periods, The overwhelming need I had
was to resolve the conflict and become the
person 1 had to be. That was my evi-
dence.
PLAYBOY: Did you also begin to meet
people who were transsexuals or who
were knowledgeable about the subject?
CARLOS: Yes. There's a kind of transsex-
ual underground, people who know about
other people who've undergone the op-
0 а eration, or who want to do so. Also,
PROTECT-IT #7 Poly-Coatrm bonds electro-chemically to painted who the doctors are, how good they are,
metal and fiberglass surfaces. PROTECT-IT #7 is a high-gloss that sort of thing. Nowadays, transsexuals
polymer coating developed by Polymer Research Corp. Manufac- advertise in the personal columns of gay
turer’s tests have established reduction in surface friction which can newspapers. The ads usually read, “Fe-
increase gas mileage. Proven in the blazing sun and salt air of male transsexual, арс such and such,
Florida’s summers . . . winter-tested from Minnesota to Manitoba. wishes to meet person in similar circum-

Customer proven on over 1,500,000 cars. stances.” But as little as five years ago.
the only place you'd get to know other

transsexuals, and learn about the under-
ground, was at the doctor's office.

It was pretty clear, as I got to know
more about it, that you could find out
what was going on with a particular per-

at that stage of treatment, You'd oc-

®uarantee casionally talk in quiet little murmurs in

The painted or fiberglass surface of your car is guaran- the waiting room, exchanging informa:
teed against weather-induced cracking, flaking, fading or J tion, depending on how social you were.
peeling for 60 months from the original application date I discovered that there were transsexuals
so long as none of the above conditions exist at the time who wer most like members of a club,
of the originat application and so long as semi-annual a fraternity or a sorority.

resealing with PROTECTAT #7 Poly-Coat,,, occurs. PLAYBOY: Are there such clubs?
PROTECT-IT #7 PolyCoat,, is further guaranteed to CARLOS: There was one in New York
reduce surface friction. Garaging, sunshading or other Я that's ceased to exist; I don't know. Most-
covering of vehicle not required. ly it's an informal thing, a clique. It's
a word of-mouth pipeline, and it consists
of information that may be helpful, such
as where to get clothing. But I'm а little
bored by that aspect. Once I'd begun
consulting my own doctors, I was never
really part of the pipeline; I wanted to
protect my career.

84 PLAYBOY: Are there transsexual bars?

PLAYBOY

q bought my Nikon to take on vacation.
Now I take it just about everywhere?

“Until a few months ago, photography meant little more
to me than vacation snapshots. Thats when I happened to
show my albums to a friend who suggested that a better

a camera might help.

“The Nikon people just came out with a new automatic
model?” he said. “Why don't you take a look at it? Га always
thought a Nikon was strictly for professionals. But, the
automatic part sounded intriguing. I went to the camera
store, just to take a look...or so I thought.

“The camera the dealer handed me was absolutely
gorgeous. Much smaller and lighter than I had imagined,
but substantial, too. And it felt so comfortable in my
hands...so ‘just right! But, would I really know how to

get good exposures?
“Nothing to it; the dealer assured me. “The Nikon
FE does it automatically” He told me about its
electronic meter system, how it works as accurately
as in the professional Nikon but even simpler. (The
Nikon people even designed their-own electronics
Jor it!) That was all I needed to know. Minutes
later, | walked out with my own Nikon FE.

“Well, I really had a ball on this vacation. I
came back with pictures 1 never dreamed Га be
able to take. Not just sharp and beautifully
exposed (1 couldn't seem to make a mistake!),
but well composed photographs that I'd be
proud to show anyone.

“My vacation is over, but my fascination
with photography is just beginning. My Nikon
FE has literally become a window on the world
forme. I look at things differently, more
clearly. I can say things with my photography.

that have meanings for others, as well as myself.
“Now, I'm starting to think about buying a
motor drive. ГЇ! be able to shoot even faster and
get action sequences, too. I'm also looking into.
some additional lenses. A Nikkor telephoto lens for
those far-away scenes—and a Nikkor wide angle
to get a whole scene into the picture. Perhaps thats
the best thing about starting with Nikon. . . there
doesn't seem to be any limit to how far I can grow
Lin my photography”

۱
>

For details about the Nikon FE Auto-Compact, see your
Nikon dealer (hes listed in the Yellow Pages). Ask him
also about the traveling Nikon School. Or, write to Dept.
N-2, Nikon Inc. Garden City, New York 11530. Subsidiary
of Ehrenreich Photo-Optical Industries, Inc. (8
(In Canada: Nikon Division, Anglophoto, Ltd., P.Q.)

PLAYBOY

CARLOS: Not in New York, though I've
heard there's one on the West Coast. T
can't remember the name. I don't wish
to remember the name. Part of me wants
to block the fact that I ever went through
the procedure; I'd prefer to assume I'm
just a normal woman. Its ridiculous, I
guess, but it’s а matter of growth. Fm
uncomfortable being reminded of who I
am, because now I tend to blend into so-
ciety very well, and memories are kind
of painful things.

nful memo-
but during the period when you
were preparing for the operation, were
your spirits improving, was your social
life expanding?
CARLOS: Somewhat. 1 even had one of my
few sexual experiences, prior to the oper-
ation, It was a relationship with a wom-
п. We'd been friends for a while, we
were simpatico. She said that if I were
going through with the sex change, I
should at least have an idea what a man.
felt like, That was a couple of months
after I started getting hormone treat-
ments, and we made a couple of feeble
attempts at i
She satisfied my curiosity as to how it
is done: how one really does it, what the
positions are, what it feels like. But there
was no orgasm for me as a man, and lit-
Ue pleasure, aside from the warm recol-
lection that this was a nice person.
PLAYBOY: Did you feel as if you were per-
forming a duty?
CARLOS: No. I felt like I was satisfying
my curiosity. It was as if I were somewhat
detached, as if were I to do too much, i
would bring me back to my self-loathing.
It was information, dehumanized da
rather than experiencing and letting go.
But we did it off and on for a month,
ybe six times.
PLAYBOY: Did you experience anything.
with a man before the operation?
CARLOS: I'm sorry to sity no. It would have
been nice to play with all the comb
tions.
PLAYBOY: You said you'd already started
hormone treatments in early 1968. What
саше next?
CARLOS: They gave me a hormone that
stimulates the pituitary. It’s supposed to
make all your glands react in a totally
adult way, so that if I were just suffering
from a late puberty, I would start pro-
ducing the right hormones, Something
was supposed to happen. Nothing hap-
pened.
PLAYBOY: How long did that go on?
CARLOS: For a few months. They also had
me go to a laboratory and have an assay
done on my urine. It was a 24-hour speci-
men, and the results showed that 1 had.
an unusually high count of androgen
nd of estrogen. Either result would lave
been abnormally high for a female or a
male. It's fa ting, in that

PLAYBOY: Not to harp оп ү

I had a chemical battle going on; I was
both a man and а woman hormonally.
After the pituitary hormone, they had
me checked for a few other things and
nothing had changed. I told Dr. Ben-
jamin 1 was getting ext
It was getting worse and worse and I felt
that I was going to reach for the razor
I had on my cight-wack machine—the
one I use for splicing tape—and just go
plu! . . . That seemed to be the easiest
way, and I was going to run into the
bathroom so 1 wouldn't get blood all
ig. Stupid things like that went
through my head.

PLAYBOY: What did the doctor do?

CARLOS: He said he had another way to
deal with it and he gave me some purple
pills. 1 was to take one a day and report
anything that happened. Two weeks
later, L saw him and told n I didn't
appreciate being given tranquilizers. I
had been very nervous and hysterical,
but 1 did not want to be relaxed art
cially. Then he told me they were estro-
gen pills, not tranquilizers, that there
was no tranquilizer in them. So 1 took

emely nervous.

“Thad one of my few sexual
experiences with a wom-
ап... . She said that if I
were going through with
the sex change, I should.
at least have an idea what

aman felt like.”

them and the result was that I felt
peaceful and relaxed for the first time
in my life, as far as 1 can remember. And
no side effects. Т kept on taking the p
for a few months. It was at that poi
that | began having the hormones
jected. These were much larger doses
than I was getting with the pills, and in-
side a month I began to have a noticeable
increase in sensitivity around my breasts.
PLAYBOY: Is that the normal thing at that
point?

CARLOS: The experici
corroborated by others,
for about two months, your breasts be-
come extremely sensitive to everything,
Going out the cold becomes painful.
They are not particularly large, and you
have to look carefully to see what is
ppening. But if you do, you see you
getting a little bulging and there is
a litle hot pot of Atlantis beginning
form beneath the nipple. The a gets
ker and larger. The nipple begins to
get erect. The fat and the gland itself

expand and you begin to get a пие
breast. That takes about a year or two,
just as it would with an adolescent girl.
PLAYBOY: Were there any other effects
from taking female hormones?

CARLOS: Well, about the same time, there
was a slight shrinkage of the testicles.
But hardly anything else. Body hair is
affected very slowly, so at the beginning
u don't notice anything. But what is
happening is that the secondary sex char-
acteristics are being changed from those
of the sex you have to those of the sex to
which you'll be altering. So the hormones
simply go in that direction, with thc ex
ception that they would never cause the
genitalia to change to those of the other
sex. Also, they would never totally elimi-
ate the beard. It would get lighter, but
you would still have to shave.
PLAYBOY: Do you have to continue to
shave
CARLOS: You have to go through electroly-
sis, which involves shooting a needle into
cach hair, Fach time you treat a small
area, you climinate about half the h:
You never reach the bottom with this sort
of process, you just get half each time.
You go for years and years and years.
Some areas, such as over the upper lip.
don't go away so quickly. You just keep
going and going and it seems like nothing
is happening. After about two years, you
begin to sce some results. There is a new
method that involves cutting nerve end-
ings that gets it all done in one throw,
but it kind of gives me the willies to
think about it, They just cut open the

lc of your mouth and scrape the roots

of the follicles on the inside. But
then, a lot of what 1 did gives othe:
people the willies, so who am I to judge?
PLAYBOY: What happens to body hair:
require electrol
CARLOS: No, that just seems to go away on.
iis own. Mine just got blonder and light-
er. The top of your pubic hair becomes
female shaped, rather than extending
upward on the abdomen. You're left
with just a teeny bit of ches fuzz near
the nipple.

PLAYBOY: Is that the same with most trans-

CARLOS: One transsexi І know didn't
have much body hair at all, even less
than 1 did, and not much of a beard, so
inside of two months, it was possible to
climimate almost all of it. There arc
other cases where they actually have to
use electrolysis on the face, arms, chest
nd everywhere else to get rid of it.
PLAYBOY: Docs changing your sex affect
your facial features, too?

CARLOS. Apparently it does. I can't say
I was aware of it, because it goes so
goddamn slowly that you really can't

see it. You have to have a stop-action
motion picture and I guess part of me
almost wishes—knowing what I do

my үл?
ж
М „А;

"Lucky Americans.
You pay less to go first class.

Here in Lisbon, Passport costs as much as other whiskies, but bottle Passport in the U.S.—and pass
remium scotches. In fact, it’s expensive everywhere оп the tax and shipping savings to you. So to lucky
ut in America. We use Scotland's most expensive Americans, this superb scotch only tastes expensive.

Passport Scotch

The trouble with most economy cars is they look it and feel it.

Consider how far we've taken
the economy car with Strada. In styling.
In comfort. In performance. In every
area of European automotive art.

STRADA.AVERY ITALIAN AUTOMOBILE.
Consider its style. Strada has proud,

sculptured lines, a distinctive roundness,

| and a flair that could only be Italian.
Consider its comfort. Italians feel

your car seat should be the most comfort-

able seat you sit in all day long. So Strada

has soft, wide, Italian-style seats, set

in an interior that's quite a work of art in

itself. Stylish. Luxurious. And so spacious,

it's roomier than the Rabbit.

STRADA. BETTER GAS MILEAGE
THAN THE OMNI, HORIZON, OR THE
GAS-POWERED RABBIT.

Yes, Strada is a most uncommon
economy car. One with front-wheel drive,
European performance, and features like
an engine-relaxing, gas-saving 5th gear,
standard, which few cars in its class give
you. The Rabbit, Omni, and Horizon don't.
And that's one reason Strada gives you
better gas mileage than them all. An EPA.
estimated 28 MPG, 41 MPG estimated
highway mileage. Remember: compare
this estimate to the estimated MPG of other
cars. You may get different mileage de-
pending on speed, weather, and trip length.
Highway mileage will probably be less.

Strada gives you a remarkably tight,
guiet big car ride, too. And it’s thoroughly
soundproofed, underneath in the sus-
pension, inside in the doors, dash, and roof.

STRADA. AN ECONOMY CAR BUILT
TO LAST.

Finally, Strada's given thorough corro-
sion protection, inside and outside.In fact,
Strada carries a full 40 pounds of it to help
keep it looking young.

Strada also carries 24
something else very THOUSAND.
few other cars in its 24:
class—or any other WARRANTY
class—do. A 24 month/ Powe
24,000 mile limited power train warranty*
One twice as long as most economy cars.

The 1979 Fiat Strada. Beautiful.
Comfortable. Original. Another Italian
work of art.

$4888 AS SHOWN:

| "There are certain limitations and exclusions, See your dealer for
details.
**1979 mir's suggested retail price. Local taxes, title, transportation
and dealer prep.nol included
For the name of the dealer nearest you, call these toll ree numbers:
(800) 447-4700, or in пов, (800) 322-4400. In Alaska and
Hawaii, check your local istings.

about photography—that T had set up
such a camera
But it is such an unpleasant thing to
plan while you are going through it that
The fra nc you never do it. So the effect is that fat
gra е tributes like crazy. When you are
a very skinny person like me, there isn't
th well dressed a whole lot of fat to go around. So your
е тап thighs get a little fatter at the top and
Б " your ass certainly gets more fleshed out,
and your waistline seems to contract to
build as I was lucky enough to hase,
which is fairly androgynous, I think the
7 path is rather easy. If you have one that
2355 is severely one sex or the other. it is very
hard ever to be totally convincing if you
change.
PLAYBOY: What about muscles and muscle
tone? How do they change?
CARLOS: Muscle bulk comes from andro-
gen, which both sexes have. It's just that
men have more of it. Women n tone
their muscles but can never have the
same bulk. So that when men е be-
coming women and taking female hor-
mones, the bulk of their muscle tends to
metabolize away. And women becoming
men have a tendency to build up more
bulk. They саг more and it builds up
muscle. I began cating more and got
more fat around my ass and breasts. But
to answer your earlier question, the shape
of my face was obviously inherited, but
I have been told that my features have
become softer
PLAYBOY: Do you have to k
male hormones all your life
CARLOS: Yes. You see, once you're done
with the operation, you have no gonads
at all. No ovaries or testicles, Until they
figure out how to implant little ampules
of hormones that would secrete into the
body the way those organs do, I'll have to
take a small amount of hormones via
pills. If you skip them too many days,
you get what they call female menopause.
You get hot flashes and other problems,
because your body doesn't have any sex
hormones at all.
PLAYBOY: If you started taking female
hormones in 1968, at what point did you
begin living as a woman? Was it before
or after the operation?
CARLOS: I began living permanently as а
woman in the middle of May 1969
ly three and a half years before the oper
ion. After that, I made only a few
appearances as a male for the sake of my

business, such as a concert with the St.

. e p Louis Symphony. Otherwise, 1 would
Pierre Cardin Mans Cologne e made none at all
PLAYBOY: Were you psychologically pre.
pared by the time the operation. took
place?
CARLOS: Yes. Don't forget, the operation
though its the thing that may be the
most important in the publics mind, is
really the least important or least inter
esting thing to me. By that time, you

PLAYBOY

мез courtesy e Titeny & Со.

There comes a time to say thank you with more ethan words.

You're proud as well as happy that she's the one on your arm. Say it with one magnifice
diamond, created by Baumgold.. set in our classic bangle bracelet.

Baumgold Bros. Inc.
Diamond Cuuers

580 Fifth Avenue, New York, N.Y 10036 212/840-3377 800/223-9924
Contact us for the name of the fine jeweler nearest you who will be happy to show you this and other Baumgold diamonds.

PLAYBOY

haye usually made the adjustment and
g in Cer-
tainly / was. I had hormones in my body.
My secondary characteristics had largely
been altered. The operation was just to
make the genitals match. It allows you
to get your legal status straightened out,
so it is kind of the final step.
PLAYBOY. That sounds awfully casual.
Surely you must have been nervous, even
though you thought you were mentally
ready for it.
CARLOS: Immediately before the oper
tion, I was a bit hysterical, as though I
required that hysteria to give me the
courage to go through with it. But I
checked into the hospital the day before
surgery, and I remember then feeling
happy, though somewhat cool and de-
tached. Not as much fear as 1 expected
to have.
PLAYBOY: What, pret
ing surgery?
CARLOS: Well, the р
into an opening that the doctors create.
A friend of mine joked that it is rather
funny, because they make it as though
you are having perpetual coitus with
yourself. What happens is that the male
genitalia skin is tucked way back, where
it would have by if I had been born а
female. The only part you throw away
is the erectile tissue, plus, of course, the
testicles and the gonads. The rest of the
penis flesh is all kept. I mean, it has got
the nerve endings, and that is what al-
lows you to be orgasmic. In the hands of
a good surgeon, everything else is put

your new role.

are

кеу, happens dur-

is itself is tucked.

back so that it is essentially in the place
where the female would have it. In em-

vos, you find that males and females
re really very similar. It is sort of a
question of reorganizing the structure.
PLAYBOY: So they leave the areas of sensi-
tivity for sexual response and construct
Is there a loss of sensitivity?
CARLOS: I was luckier than most. The
doctor did quite a good job. He main-
tained an incredible amount of sensi
tivity, whereas another doctor might not
have. Some doctors are better cosmet
logical surgeons than others. ] mean, I
don't know if you want to hear this, but
some transsexuals sit down and they
can't even urinate. The stream comes
out, sort of, forward. But they look good.
Whenever skin is cut, nerve endings are
cut, and you know, we are dealing with
parts of the body where nerves are high-
ly important. There are a lot of people
who go through this operation with sui
geons who don't have good techniques.
"They end up having fine cosmetic results
but absolutely no functionality. They
become numb, almost literally, and that’s
a pretty gross thing. Whether or not sex
is the first thing on your mind, I assume
you are thinking about it at least a little,

and you wouldn't want to be so numb
that it ruled out any degree of pleasure
or orgasm. I was lucky. I lost maybe ten
percent here and there, and I have a
pretty good idea where those locations
are.

PLAYBOY: Have you had any problems as
а result of the surgery?
CARLOS: | have got a couple of tiny
physical things that I think probably in
a few months I will go and have han-
dled. Sometimes there are little compli-
cations that are not really severe that you
can live with for years, and then after a
while you say, Oh, there is this funny
little scar tissue in there that causes a
little discomfort and 1 think I'm willing
to spend a day in the hospital
amed away. But it's not
ferent from an average person's having
little problems with his body. I'm not
trying to make light of the procedu
I'm just explaining how I feel about it.
PLAYBOY: What do they do with the
breasts? Do they operate on them or use
hormones?

CARLOS: In cases like mine, male to fe-
male, if you want a larger breast than

“I was luckier than most.
The doctor did a good job.
He maintained an incred-
ible amount of sensitivity.

1 ost maybe ten percent

here and there."

what the hormones give you, you have
to have implants the way many small-
breasted women do.

PLAYBOY: ОГ sili
CARLOS: Yes. It depends on what
have inherited. If your mother had large
breasts, vou are likely to have them, too.
The same with smaller breasts.

one?

PLAYBOY: What is done with your Adam's
apple?

CARLOS: Well, this certainly isn't very
pleasant to discuss, but if vou want, 1

can tell you. If you have a very large
Adam's apple, you can have it reduced
by shaving. That is, they rip back the
skin that covers it in your neck—it isn’t
a real incision—and actually plane it
down with a small tool. They have to be
very careful to take only the cartilage,
the nonusable part of the Adam's apple.
The result is a smaller size that doesn’t
affect the pitch of your voice at all. Now,
if they aren't careful, you can wind up
with a very strangesounding voice, a bit
husky. I have heard of instances where
that happened. Some people considered

sexy and didn't mind. 1 certainly
have never done that
changed. It was high to begin with and
just never cracked. I always sounded like
an adolescent and I sound like one now.
But at least | never have to worry about
phonying up my voice to keep it in the
highest part of its range.

PLAYBOY: How long did you stay in the
hospital after the operation?
CARLOS: Eight days. The hospi
time was the least problematic. The
anesthesia was the best I've ever received.
І had no sickness, no stomach distress.
I woke up feeling absolutely fine. The
doctor had administered an effective
painkiller and I had no pain at all. Five
days alter the operation, when he had
to check the dressings, that was painful.
I was supersensitive and, of course, the
painkiller had worn off. Nevertheless, 1
had a trembling, happy feeling knowing
that the new sensations I was feeling
would be mine for the rest of my life.
Knowing that I had gotten over the
hurdle tended to blind me to any of the
negative things.

But the following week I spent in a

hotel down the street from the hospital
and the doctor's office, so that he could
check on me every day. Then I did begin
to get compl ns. I wasn't. healing
quickly, because E have a body that wants
to form scar tissue immediately. The
doctor had to give me special medicine.
PLAYBOY: What kind?
CARLOS: Everything. Would you believe
that the last thing I was given was gen-
ian violet? That's a horrible staining
substance that has a property of helping
the body slow down its need to form
маг Liss quickly. The gentian ler
wrecked several sheets and clothes and
underwear.

I'd go to the doctor's office and he'd
Change dresings and ert that миш
into me, and it would keep my system
from forming scar tissue. For a couple
of months, I was in discomfort, halfway
between an itch and a bit of pain.
PLAYBOY: Do they tell you to have sex
regularly after the operation?

‚ they actually recommend
it. They used to have cases in male-to-
Iemale operations where the new vagina
would close up, even to the point of pre
venting intercourse. It would require
nother operation and it would be pretty
messy to go back and do that again. So
it is helpful to keep shrinkage to a mini
mum. When that happens, you have to
resort to dilat it with a small met
dilator that you сап buy in a drugstore.
It is used by most transsexuals postoper
atively for the first few months. Also,
whenever you fear that something may
be going wrong and you are starting to
shrink, you can use it for a while. I guess
if you masturbated, too, you could do

My voice never

ization

“Us Tareyton smokers
would rather Ше Fa, I
than fight!"

Your present filter is only doing

half the job, because it doesnt Т Ji
have Тагеуїоп$ activated Olo n
charcoal filtration.

There is no substitute for

Tareyton lights.

Se Eva ey ori

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 8mg.tar 9mg.tar

Tareyton lights. 8 mg. "tar", 0.7 mg. nicotine: Tareyton long lights: 9 mg. "tar. 0.8 mg, nicotine av. per cigarette by ЕТС method

PLAYBOY

Ashort course in
Bonded Bourbon.

First lesson:
Bonded Bourbon is so
unique that it took an
act of Congress (in 1897)
to establish the
standards for
Old Grand-Dad
and other Bonded
whiskeys.

( q 100 is perfect.
Bonded Bourbon

: must be 100 proof.

No more. No less.

Final exam.
You need only one
Sip to recognize
the clearly superior
quality and taste ot
Old Grand-Dad.

= Cheers!

Old Grand-Dad
Bonded is authentic
Kentucky sour-mash
Bourbon, made with
pure limestone water,
the finest grains,

and aged in new
charred-oak barrels.

Only Bonded
whiskeys have a green
tax stamp. It's your guar-
antee that the whiskey is
at least four years old.

Old Grand-Dad Bonded is

always aged longer. Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. 100 proof
Bottled in Bond. Old Geand-Dad Distillery Co., Frankfort. Ky. 40601

with your fingers. Oh, hell, 1 mean, we're
not children, any of us сап fantasize
what to do in cases like this.

PLAYBOY: You said you had your first
masturbatory experience postoperatively.
CARLOS: "That's right. І had assumed that
would be one way of preventing shrink-
and I chose to use that method. The
» which might just as well be
called a dildo, is just a small plastic rod
that is effectively smooth. It's not made
to look like anything else.

PLAYBOY: How soon alter the operation
did you have your first sexual experience
with another person?

CARLOS; At first I was afraid to. I must
have been kidding myself or lying to
myself not to take the plunge. 1 think
1 used the old Roman Catholic excuse
that it was dirty and wrong. I talked
h my doctor and he told me not to
be afraid of sex, to open myself up. Then
1 decided, OK, why not? Let's see what.
it's like. Experiment. A couple of tries
and it turned out to be fairly easy. А
couple of more tries and it worked, and
then 1 wanted to go along and have
multiple orgasms, like women do.
PLAYBOY: Can you describe any differ-
ences between sex as a man and sex
s a woman?

CARLOS: It's just conjecture оп my part,
but I suspect that women can have mul-
tiple orgasms because the physical mech-
anism of having an orgasm doesn't have
to be erect like a penis does. The sensi-
tivity of the clitoris can simply be main-
tained and you continuously receive
timulation. Of course, you can go on
for a half hour or so, carrying it to the
mountain peak and down again and up.
again, until youre a writhing mass of
sweat and exhaustion. But the male loses
his erection and it's hard to get started
again. He loses his capacity for multiple
orgasms, mainly for mechanical reasons.
, yes, I have the capacity now for
multiple orgasms. I don't know if I had
it before. I suspect not.

PLAYBOY: Besides the differences in sexual
response, what can you say about how it
feels to be a woman instead of a man?
CARLOS: І fce] that some innermost part
of me was always a woman, so that all 1
have really done is change my suit of
bone and skin. It is hard for me to know
what a normal man would have felt like.
І know many of the feelings of a man,
since I was brought up as a little boy,
but I can't really answer for the male
view. I always felt, spiritually and psy-
chologically and intellectually, that 1
functioned as a woman. I am functioning
hormonally that way now. That is what
is in my blood stream. And sexually, that
is how I function. My build, skin texture,
things like that have all shifted. For all
practical purposes, I have become the sex
of my choice.

PLAYBOY: Was there ever any thought of
turning back?

CARLOS: No, never.

PLAYBOY: Do you have any idea what
would have happened if you hadn't had
the operation?

CARLOS: Yes. I'd be dead.

PLAYBOY: You make the whole process
sound necessary and right. Yet for m
if not most, of the males who will rcad
this interview, thoughts of castration
will go through their heads. Why do you
k that fear is so deeply rooted in the
minds of men?

CARLOS: [Angrily] Why would you ask me
that? I never felt it was castration. It
was corrective surgery. Inevitable and
comfortable. It's something I had to do.
1 do know that I was very saddened
when a great many of my male friends
candidly told me alter the operation that.
they had felt a pain in their own groin
at the thought of what 1 went through.
One friend said that every time he
passed the hospital where the operation
had taken place, he'd just kind of reach
for his crotch.

—
“I never felt it was castra-
tion. It was corrective
surgery. Inevitable and
comfortable. It's some-
thing I had to do."

—

PLAYBOY: Have you lost any friends as a
result of the operation?

CARLOS: Truthfully, no. Гуе obviously
not confronted some people whom I
used to know or who may or may not
decide to continue seeing me as a friend
when they find out. One acquaintance
did say, “Gee, I used to like Walter
a whole lot, but I really don't like
Wendy.” But generally, if they liked me
to begin with, there isn't any problem
now.

PLAYBOY: Do you remember how it felt
the first time you told somebody other
than Rachel that you had had or were
having the operation?

CARLOS: The operation I kept pretty se-
cret. Y was frightened, probably in the
same way I was frightened in childhood.
I was convinced I would lose the love
of people who cared about me. Rachel
very stoically informed friends in ad-
vance for me, so the preliminary expec-
jon was already established and I
didn’t have to tell people myself. More
recently, I've confided to some who had
known me as Wendy for а year or two
that I used to be Walter Carlos, and that
usually gets incredible reactions. Some

people don’t react at all, they go into
shock. Others say. “Gee, isn’t that nice?”
They're so casual. No problem at all.
Then they go home and sort of go
Brirrrir. Oh, my God! Other times I just
act casual about it and. people tend to
accept it.

PLAYBOY: Have you been surprised by
some of the reactions?
CARLOS: Yes, very
those who I think be the coolest are
the most uptight, and vice versa. Some
are very silent when I tell them. You can
see you're not necessarily doing anyone
a favor, particularly if you say, "Now,
please keep this a secret.” As I said be-
fore, being a transsexual makes me a
barometer of other people’s own comfort
with themselves. Those who aren't sexu-
ally at peace with themselves tend to be
the most uptight around me. Others who
are really relaxed think it's no big deal.
PLAYBOY: What kind of reaction pleases
you the most?

CARLOS: When pcople are not thrown by
it at all. They just go on and say, "Gee,
that's fascinating. As I was saying. . . .”
That's the nicest experience. 1 remember
that one friend announced to me when
I told him on the phone that I had begun
living full time as а woman, "Well, if I
come over, is it all right if I laugh?” Tt
was such a sweet thing. Such an honest
response. It would be wonderful if we
could evolve 10 a point where people
won't have trouble dealing with prob-
Jems like this at all.

PLAYBOY: What about your own prob-
Jems dealing with the change? Does the
fact that you used to be a male and
are now a female affect the way you are
auracted to people? For cxample, once
you've had your sex changed, does it
change your sexual orientation?

CARIOS: I don't see how that could hap-
pen. I basically feel that we are capable
of being stimulated by both sexes—in
addition to animals and inanimate ob-
jects, for that matter, My own orienta-
tion has been pretty much bisexual and
by my late 20s, I knew that I was
flexible. Of course, until I felt at peace
with my own body, the thought of sexual
contact was pretty abhorrent. As soon as
it was resolved, the doctors helped me
relax and I started to have little affairs,
I'd been cut off from the whole area of
sex for most of my life and I think I'm
still coming to grips with my sexuality
in a way an adolescent would,

PLAYBOY: Do both inen and women come
on to you?

CARLOS: Yes, but not all that often. The
last thing in the world I expected from
all this was a good body, but you know,
ectomorphs are in fashion these days, so
I've got a desirable body shape. I sup-
pose I should have expected that they
would come on to me, but I'm getting

often. Sometimes

PLAYBOY

older now and certainly losing some of
my youthful rosy-cheekedness.

PLAYBOY: Have you tried on а bikini
since the operation?
CARLOS: Yes. It was great.
PLAYBOY: What was the reaction on the
beach?
CARLOS: It was in the Caribb in Jan-
uary of 1974. My body was pretty neat
and I was proud of it, kind of a peacock
feeling. I strutted my stuff, as it were,
and Т got a few wolf whistles. Before the
operation, 1 had net worn a bikini, be-
cause I wanted to hide myself, and I
went out into the sun in an almost ma-
tronly bathing suit.

PLAYBOY: Since you've begun getting wolf
whistles, do vou respond to come-ons?
CARLOS: Very seldom. And when I do, it's
mostly for curiosity's sake. One of my fe-
male friends always calls me the new twat
in town, you know, as if I had a new
toy. Eventually, you learn what it feels
like to have orgasms and stuff.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever become interest-
ed in any of the men who've dated you?
CARLOS: Right now, the idea of letting
my secret out is so important t0 me that
I've inhibited any real feelings on that
matter. I've had crushes on both men and
women, but I'll have to ask you to come
back in two years to sce if I've managed
10 grow up. It may turn out that hiding
a secret for ten years, as I've done, causes
your habits to become permanent and 1

may never be able to let go emotionally.
PLAYBOY: Do you tell your sex partners
that you have had a sex-change оре
tion?

CARIOS: It depends. I don't have any set
rule. | used to have a large need to
confess—to be totally honest. Now I feel
sometimes that discretion is the better
part of valor. The percentages are prob-
ably about equal and I suspect that many
people whom I didn't tell are going to
be mightily put off by this interview.
PLAYBOY: It certainly will be the end of
Walter Carlos forever. It would seem that
killing him off was one of your toughest
chores. How were you able to keep him
breathing but never visible?

CARLOS: Rachel was the buffer. She was
a brick. I don't know how she could keep.
herself from hating me and throwing
rocks aftcr having to answer the phone
and lie on my behalf, making up those
incredible inventions.

PLAYBOY: What inventions?

CARLOS: Gh, ате excuses. If someone
called the house, Rachel would say, "He's
in Providence, visiting with his family,”
Think of that one! What an ironic ex-
cuse to be giving. If I were within hear-
ing distance. I'd quietly snort. “Oh, yes,
he really loves Rhode Island and he's
усгу close to his parents" Or Rachel
would say that this ubiquitous. Walter
Carlos w
anywhere, everywhere. The few friends

on tour, out of the counny

who knew covered for me, too. They are
honest people who hate to lie but were
forever lying to cover up the leaks and
the gossip that went on about me during
that time.
PLAYBOY: What was the gossip?
CARLOS: Some of the speculation hit it
right on the button. After all, transsexu-
ality wasn't completely unknown, But
some loudmouths thought I had turned
into a drag queen, while others guessed
that I had been a woman all along—one
who was pretending to be a man

It got as far as Europe. An audio en-
gineer friend who was visiting England
daimed that he ran into а guy who said,
“Hey, I hear you're close to that musi-
аап, Wilhemina Carlos" Wanda was
another name that was thrown at me
People catch on to the fact that you try
to keep the same initials
PLAYBOY: Did Columbia
оп?
CARLOS: I doubt it, though some people
there obviously did.
PLAYBOY: Did they just
ап eccentric genius?
CARLOS. Eccentric genius was the term
they used as ап explanation. What they
really me: Hey. there's some-
thing strange here," Actually, I don't
know how eccentric I am and Em scarce
ly a genius. Just a bright kid.
PLAYBOY: Rut you never blew your cover
CARLOS: It was close. I'll never forget

Records catch

re you were

nt was,

The Dry Look pumpleaves hair feeling
as softand natural asit looks.

The Dry Look gives you more than a great look. It leaves your
hair feeling soft and natural, too —not stiff. The Dry Look

in pump spray or aerosol —with a formula that's right for

your hair. Get The Dry Look... and don't be a stiff!

«РР

THE WORLD OF 2

BALLY /

OF SWITZERLAND

For Style folder write to BALLY, INC., 444 Madison Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022

К Каны Меуос̧ өїоҖотоүор төсүшөр reddi SUPU opdorddy pup uonoojord eke eurer p 10644 A16]Ds Opry

ЕЗ

зәипоуәа eur]'nmzng

3e[Deq EMzng MOA Ð MOU up Apods spy} ees -ams pub uorsuedsns qiedns ‘1emod esons-p рәрчәрхә әп suny jpeu чочу erour puy
jaebuyls мот 1821-55 Mou Əy} eIqprier SuDSUT UOTUM 'sexiqieans SH em оо MOT 'UDe[ Ey] чощ eIOUI St ‘TOM,
"“әтарполу MON тәби MOT ƏY ‘TID и WDeurepun ‘ses под ¿mopeds os шә, sexpur DUM
Dui uoy Jedeap yonu $] "BInzng woy siaus мот MSU eur Toroeds
‘eds шәщ әрош eA ;sporoeds, sieHuns 'sedid Arar Durujeuios uo ѕәдә тод рәј MON
MOT OU} ТОО чочу IONI 'HOUS ur euoudp6eu peddoyo рир epppps days циа ‘sin 1eujo әщ шот ,sporoeds,
"punom По sexpiq stp Hurddojs ‘XuD} dorp-rpe, ‘smoqerpupy xopq-mnd ‘SOJ PO{Ã}s-MOT[ OU] Uses A, NOÄ ‘aro se9uDq»

"RINZNs wo sieDurps МО SUL

PLAYBOY

appearing on the Today show in 1969
with Hugh Downs, and the brouhah;
that erupted backstage. Rachel heard a
couple argue: "Well. come on. that’s a
girl." "No, it isn't. It's a boy.” "No, it's
a girl pretending to be a bo

I also made a TV appearance with
someone whose name eludes me—he had
а very proud-peacock aura, always pres
ing himself—and I went to great lengths
to distract his eye from focusing on my
facial features. The make-up woman for
the show was suspicious. It was du
the estrogen period, and I had hardly any
beard left, and she was aware of the false
sideburns, Usually, 1 would take care of
the make-up in the hotel and go to the
studio ready for camera. That time I
didn't.

Then there was Dick Cavett. in 1970.
which was my last TV appearance, Peter
Ustinov the only other guest that
night. Cavett was tense, because the syn-
thesizer was not a subject he was famili
with. He was hoping Ustinov would ask
interesting questions —Peter is literate in
music, Ustinov gave me this funny look.
He backed away, and his eyes went up
and down. In all honesty, he was im-
pressed by my music. He did ask ques-
tions, But there was a great deal of
discomfort all around, with too much
stimuli coming into me for me to react to
any of it. My memory of the experience
was one of suffering. I've no idea how
ch t came across to the view

T guess my best TV appearance was
with George Carlin when he was subbing
for Mike Douglas. He could enhance the
discussion with questions he knew well
enough to ask and the pressure wasn't
bad. "There wasn't any uptightness or
hostility.

PLAYBOY: Then you didn't make any TV
appearances in conjunction with the re-
lease of A Clockwork Orange, for which
you created the musical score?

CARLOS: We were asked to. Camera Three
ran a special on Clockwork, They had
Anthony Burgess at the studio and 1
was invited to go in. Rachel thought tha
would be dull and suggested instead that
they film in our studio. They claimed
they di have any film but would send
a still photographer instead.

So this fellow came and sct up his
strobe and took tons of slides of the
equipment and lights and dials. and of
Rachel and me at work. The photographs
were shown on the program while,
the background, they played some of the
music from Clockwork.

PLAYBOY: In other words, they faked
CARLOS: Exactly. Anthony Burgess set it
that

up, mentioning "You all know
Walter Carlos’ music,” and Malcolm Mc-
Dowell, who starred. in the movie, said.
that he had been to the recording studio
with his old lady, and how fascinating it
all was

100 PLAYBOY: Did McDowell know?

CARLOS: If he did, he was too much of
a gentleman to say so.

PLAYBOY: During that period, what sorts
of reactions were you getting while you
maintained your false identity?

CARLOS: Strange stares. The one real
scene was at Chock Full O'Nuts on Filth
Avenue when I was about 18 months into
hormones. Н. lw па man's
coat, a man's jacket, a man's hat, and
this woman stormed up to me and
shrieked, "Are you a man or a woman?
What are you?" She was really frightened.
I saw horror and terror in her eyes. I
was beside myself. I didn't know what
to say.

Less t tic was the time I went
into my bank, still dressed as a man, to
close the account under the Walter
los me, The clerk looked at this mid-
dleaged woman and asked, “Who is this
Iter Carlos?” I replied, “Me.” There
was a double e. I said, "Is there a
problem?" She pave me the once-over
and mumbled skeptically, "Well, you just.

„ dressed

—
“As Walter, I pasted on false
sideburns and simulated a
five-o’clock shadow. I tried
to lower my voice and be
macho. It couldn't have

وو

mattered les:

don’t look like a Walter to me.” That
was a very interesting way of putting it.
PLAYBOY: During the estrogen years, how
strange was your appearance? Was your
hair long?

CARLOS: Moderately long. In those days,
ir length didn't matter. Don't forget,
it was the hippie era.

PLAYBOY: But hippies weren't necessarily.
IeminineJooking. Or effeminate,

CARLOS: I looked androgynous, and al-
ways have. E was fashionable the minute
androgyny became fashionable. Its а
look that maybe screaming teenage girls
would get off on. Even without the hor-
mones.

PLAYBOY: If there hadn't been the need
to stay in the closet, do you feel you
would have affected the world of music?
Would music have changed if you had re-
mained Walter Carlos?

CARLOS: Absolutely. I'm convinced of
that.

PLAYBOY: How?

CARLOS: The fact that I couldn't perform
publicly stifled me. 1 lost a decade as ап
artist. I was unable to communicate with
other musicians. There was no feedback.
I would have loved to have gone onstage
playing clectronic-music concerts, as well

as writing for more conventional media,
such as the orchestra.

PLAYBOY: But your performance onstage
in 1969 with the St. Louis Symphony was
a disaster, was it not?

CARLOS: Personally, yes. Professionally.
no. They invited me to perform a spe
concert of electronic synthesized music
Following the orchestral part, the con-
ductor and I talked about the new way
that music would be done, ad.libbed
about the synthesizer, cracking little
jokes, keeping it light and informativ
the same time. The audience was en-
thusiastic: There was great feedback both
for me as an artist and for the medium.
My angst was high, though. Rachel s
was getting so close to the edge I could
have had a nervous breakdown had I con-
tinued performing. I hated the feeling
of working as Walter Carlos. 1 kept say-
ing silly things like “Let Walter go and
do it.”

PLAYBOY: Were you а

хїоиз because of

the concert or because of the double
identity?
CARLOS: Mostly because of the forced

secrecy, which I wasn’t good at, 1
sisted to Rachel that I would not fly
to St, Louis dressed as a man, and didn't.
I went dressed as I normally would
have, as a woman. We checked into the
Holiday Inn, and they didn't know who
the hell this woman was. When we got
into the suite, I ceased being a woman
and suddenly became this Walter Carlos
person. And I began crying hysterically.
I couldn't do Rachel cajoled me.
Eventually, 1 pasted on my sideburns and
put on a wig to hide my hair, which was
pretty long at the time and streaky. 1
filled my pores with dirt from an eyebrow
pencil to simulate fiveo'dock shadow. Т
tried to lower my voice as bottom-hea
as it could get. Tried to be macho. It
couldn't have mattered less.

When I went down to eat that nigh
some hotel guests thought they recognized
me. A timid person said he had seen my
sister earlier.

PLAYBOY: When you were working with
Stanley Kubrick on the Clockwork
Orange score, you were already three
years into hormones. What did Kubrick
know about your condition?
CARLOS: Kubrick was so il
project th
he'd probably just ha
cold. It was no big deal in the be;
Later on, he started to notice it a little
more, and he'd talk about somebody he
knew who was gay, trying to feel out if
I were gay. I'd give him an enigmatic
answer suggesting I wasn't, and he'd be
сусп more disturbed. On the last cou-
ple of days, he shot a lot of photos of me
with his little Minox camera, He must
have found me an interesting.looking per
son, to say the least.

PLAYBOY: And Kubrick still doesn't know?

tense on the

i£ Га come in stark-naked,
ve asked if I were

ning.

A rare book offer

froma rare scotch. .
A $60 value -yours

B6 Proof Blended Scorch Whisky Paddington Corp., N.Y,

gest selection of the
ancient Egyptian king ever to appear in print-
cludes the fullest account ever written of the search for his
tomb, its final disc a and mystifying events that
followed.
This magnificent book—certain to become a collector's item—
5195 color photographs, printed on rich 120 Ib. coated stock. Many
re photographs of treasures that cannot be seen outside of Cairo or
in any other book. Additionally, the book includes 16 pages of black-
and-white photographs taken when the tomb was first opened. They
show the entrance and approaches to the tomb and many objects in
the Burial Room and Treasury as they were originally discovered in
1922—more than 3,000 years after the death of King Tut
Now you can get this extraordinary complete collection—322
pages, indexed, slipcased, 9%” x 1274"—аг a remarkably low price,
made possible by J & B Rare Scotch
Just fill in the coupon at the right, and you'll have a lifetime
treasure that you'll be proud to own and display in your home. It is
truly a rare n piece...to be enjoyed with a rare scotc

J&B Rare.

RN,

| То:

J
Ri

fora

& B Rare Book Offer

D Money Order
add applicable sale

s for delivery. Void where prohibited by law
Жойс Beverage Required. Offer expires October 31,

PLAYBOY

102

CARLOS: He lives in England, never trav-
els; we talk by phone about what's been
appening with his new film, The Shin-
ing. which I may score. If it happens. I'll
just have to bite my lower lip. He'll have
to be told about me. There's no other
way.
PLAYBOY: Stevie Wonder once visited
your house and played the synthesizer.
Did he know?
CARLOS: I didn't speak to him. He'd have
icked up on the sound of my voice
nd immediately spotted that something
wasn't right.
PLAYBOY: The secrecy of your life this

; but has your
sexuality personally affected your
own music?

CARLOS: I would think not at all. Can
you imagine writing The Transsexual
Symphony? [Laughs]

PLAYBOY: Is there an analogy between
your music and your transsexuality?
CARLOS: A simple one would be that
Switched-On Bach in 1969 was a good
musical barometer, while transsexuality
in 1979 is a fairly good sexual and atl
tudinal social barometer. When Switche.
On Bach was new, it stimulated strong
reactions. Those who were comfortable in
all forms of music, those who were open
то novel уа ions, loved it. Transsexual-
ity, too, is an emotional, action-prone

in that it tends to polarize
depending on the attitudes one
xuality and human rights, In
both cases, there's no middle ground.
PLAYBOY: You imitated human voices
with the synthesizer in your score of
A Clockwork Orange. Was that the first
time it was done?

CARLOS: We did some vocal clectronic
music back in 1970—lor the choral parts
of the Beethoven Ninth Symphony—and,
again, we got a lot of uncomfortable re-
actions, People looked at us and said,
"Oh, my goodness, what is this?” They
were scared by it. They were scared he:
ing a chorus of artificial voices. We were
using а thing called a vocoder. It's an
instrument that takes apart speech and
then allows you to reassemble, using, in
that case, the synthesizer as the original
source.

PLAYBOY: Are vocoders still in use?
CARLOS: All over the place, They're bc-
coming clichés, You hear the Star Wars
sounds, the Battlestar Galactica music
‘The aliens usually talk with a vocoder.
So, once in, I think we were a little
too early,

Bert Whyte, who was a great pioncer
of audio, said to Rachel and me, “Do
you know what pioneers get? They get
arrows in the "ve gotten my share
of arrows, maybe rightly deserved. But
it’s still fun to know you were there first

and you've got the порі
PLAYBOY: You've also shot off some ar-
rows yoursel You've been very critical
of the way the synthesizer is used on disco

records, But hasn't disco popularized the
instrument?
CARLOS: The synthesizer became well

known when advertisers used it to sell
products on ТУ, such as the commercials
for ailing cars and the cat sounds to
dvertise cat food. Pop artists such as
Keith Emerson used it rather flamboy
апу. Emerson, Lake & Palmer were
among the first pop groups to play with
it. In Close Encounters of the Third
Kind, the sounds came from а synthesiz-
er. And it’s the background on almost
every Donna Summer record. But to get
back to your question, it's nice to know
that it's used on disco, but it would have
been healthier for the industry had it
not been.

PLAYBOY: Why?
cartos: If you're a

ng me to name
an't, since I gen-
erally flee thing that rep
the same sequence more than 16 times. I
mean, if somebody wants to say, "Once
upon a time, once upon a time,” I've
got it after the fourth time. Let us not
confuse it with music. But now I sound
scholarly and tiphtassed and pompous
and—fuck z

lowered, lifted,

Even remotely.

You touch a few buttons.

6 records have never been
ogrammed
and played like this before.

WS. NEXT

LI L

The Accuglide® Spindle gently lowers the record оп
the platter without dropping it, like a record elevator.
A computerized track selector lets you hear the tracks you like, in any order you like, even skip the

tracks you don't like. On all six records!

through playing.

And the Accutrac® +6 is available with a remote transmitter which lets you control everything

More miracles: the Accuglide Spindle even raises all six records back up when you're

from across the room. On some models, there's even remote volume control.

Rumble is better than —66dB (Din 455398). Wow and flutter are less than .04% WRMS.
With the computer technology of the Accutrac +6, the operation of a turntable has never been
easier. And the micro-electronics eliminates hundreds of mechanical parts to achieve new levels of reliabil-

ity and performance.

BA cutacnd Accipe ме regetered

Experience the Accutrac +6 at your Accutrac dealer.
You won't believe your eyes or your ears.

детайл oLAccutac Ud. ADC Professional Products, a Di

IEEEBEEERERER

ee Accutrac

и of BSR Consumer Product Group Route 303 lave. New York 0913, Disiouted ir Canada by BSR [Canadal Lid. Огоо.

i, ©

A
S
c
С
o
%
Ф

‚ why Subaru offers this long list of features: > IT$ OWNERS.

S Full-time front wheel drive. To spoil you forever when it comes to better handling and greater traction.

у Four wheel drive at the flick of a lever from inside the car. So your travel plans won't be spoiled even
if the road ends.

; Style and comfort. Every Subaru Brat comes loaded with great passenger car features. That means
x; alevel of luxury previously considered unreachable for any four wheel drive.

3, Outdoor bucket seats. If all our great features give you a slightly big head, you'll be happy to know
' that, thanks to fresh air seats, the Brat also offers unlimited headroom.

Another obstacle that won't stand in the way of our Brat is the gas station. It delivers an estimated 34
7 hwy.mpg and 65 estimated city mpg using lower cost regular gas. (In Calif., it's 32
Ў estimated hwy.and 27 estimated city mpg using eee

Aremarkably low price. So with all the money
¥ you save right off the bat, you can go out
and spoil someone else.

For your nearest Subaru dealer call
800-243-6000F toll free.

71979 ЕРА estimates for our 4 wheel drive vehicle U:
ay mpg lor comparisons. Your mileage, € тау dier
рее,

‘SUBARU . ~ qM лз
WE'RE CHANGING THE FACE OF Zim:

€

Introducing

the solution
100s smok

New Camel Lights 1005

.———} The satisfaction of Camel Lights 100%
-B005—— solves the low tar/low taste problem.
With an exclusive Camel rich blend
specially formulated for smoother,
longer length smoking. No other
low tar 100 can match it for taste.

New100's Kings

9 Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined

LIGHTS. 9 mg. “tar”, 0.8 mg. nicotine, That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health
LIGHTS 100's: 13 mg. "tar", 1.1 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette by FTC method.

20 CLASS A
CIGARETTES

LOW TAR: CAMEL QUALITY

The Interwoven Man.
Hes got
socks appeal.

The man who knows how to put his feet up and relax wears
Crew-sader:* The casual socks from Interwoven that come іп a
Stylish array of colors. So she'll love him in blue as much as she

loves him in green. Because the Interwoven Man has socks appeal.

Xnterwover’
Socks

all of the records that have used the
synthesizer this past decade.

PLAYBOY: Would you like the instrument
to be used less?

CARLOS: | don't want to stop them. I'm
only saddened to see that it isn't further
advanced. I’ve got a right to my opinion
and I'm going to continue to be angry.
If not an angry young man, at least an
angry middle-aged woman.

PLAYBOY: What are you doing to advance
the use of the instrument?

CARLOS: I'm in the process of designing
and having а new machine refined. It is
to have a minicomputer, with special
controlling devices and lots of knobs and
dials and keyboards of various kinds.
It'll be a digital synthesizer and itll be a
one-note instrument.

PLAYBOY; What will it do that other syn-
thesizers can't?

CARLOS: I feel almost embarrassed to say
that this will truthfully be the first time
that an instrument will be able to imi
tate any sound that the mind of man can
conceive and that the ear is able to hear.
PLAYBOY: Can you sce yourself marketing
this instrument?

CARLOS: Certainly not. I've never thought
of myself as having a whole lot of busi-
ness acumen.

PLAYBOY: How does what you're doing
compare with what other musicians are
doing?

CARLOS: A better comparison would be
the way I make electronic music and the
way the Walt Disney studio made its
animated motion pictures. I construct in
sound what Disney did in visuals. He
worked frame by frame, drawing by
drawing. The synthesizer is a onc-note
instrument and. consequently, 1 work
note by note, color by color. Disney used
optical processes to give depth
and perspective to his drawings. I also
work with foreground. elements overlay
ing background elements.

PLAYBOY: Was there music in your family
when you were growing up?

CARLOS: My mother. plays the piano and
sings. I have an uncle who plays trom-
bone and another who plays trumpet

spe

and drums.
PLAYBOY: Were vou an only child?
CARLOS. | have a brother 22 months
younger than 1. We never see each other
I had a sister, also vounger than I, who
died within the first week or two after
birth. It is hard for mc to remember
back that far now, Only recently, my
mother mentioned it to me. She had also
given birth to a hermaphrodite who died
a couple of weeks after birth.

PLAYBOY: Isn't it rare, if not bizarre, that
a set of parents produce a child who is to
become a transsexual and one who is a
hermaphrodite?

CARLOS: Perhaps. Apparently, the sexual
organs had not differentiated it com
pletely into a male or a female, though

RAY-BAN SUN GLASSES.

THE MOST REVEALING BEACHWEAR
YOU CAN BUY.

Simulation

Ray-Ban® Sun Glasses by Bausch & Lomb offer you
maximum protection against glaring sun, surf and sand
Unlike ordinary sunglasses, they are precision ground from
the finest optical glass, so you always see clearly. without
fatiguing distortion, no matter how brilliant the sunlight

Ray-Ban Sun Glasses come in 10 different lenses,
specifically made for different uses. And, you can choose
from over 28 different trame styles. With Ray-Ban Sun
Glasses you get more correct protection for more kinds of
light than any other sunglasses in the world. Select the
Ray-Ban Sun Glasses perfect for your needs, at fine
department stores, sporting goods stores and professional
eyecare centers.

BY BAUSCH S LOMB €

PLAYBOY

108

_ If you haven't tried

MAKE
WHAT YOU HAVE
LOOK LIKE MORE

If you have fine or thinning hai
important to make the most of what
you have.

Men who have discovered Thicken-
ing Shampoo de Pantene have already
seenthe amazing differenceit can make.
yet, your thin
hair has a lot of thick to look
foward to.

Because Thickening Sham-
poo de Pantene is specially
formulated to give your hair
new body. You won't believe
that thicker, fuller-looking
head of hair is yours!

And it does сусп
more. It makes your
hair more manage-
able, easier to cut,
comb and style.
Thickening Shampoo

de Pantene gives youa naturally-healthy

look. Even wild hair ts tamed.

What makes it work? A combination
of carefully researched ingredients from
around the world, including two exclu-
sive Swiss conditioners that are in no
other shampoo on the market.

And, because Pantene? is a
part of Hoffmann-LaRoche
Inc. one of theworld’slargest
laboratories devoted to good
health, ThickeningShampoo
was formulated and medi-
cally-tested by scientists.
| Its available at fine
drug and department
stores. So, if youbave
thin hair. try Thick-
ening Shampoo de
Pantene and make
the most of it.

Thickening
Shampoo

For fine or

thin hair.

B fl. oz.
237 сс

my parents decided that it was a girl. It's
possible that the clitoris might have been
large enough almost to have become the
penis. The truth of the matter is that
within the embryo, in the beginning, you
are both sexes. You have a full set of
cells that evolve into either the female
apparatus or the male apparatus. When
1 mention this to some of my friends, they
get nervous and uptight, thinking, Gee, I
m a woman and I have a potential for
having male organs down there, or I am
а man and I have a potential vagina
down there,

PLAYBOY: In your opinion, are there rea
sons to believe that parents are responsi-
ble for transsexuality?

CARLOS: Not necessarily. Not at all. There
are probably several factors. I kind of
want to scoff and say, "Well, then what
causes homosexuality, ог bisexuality—or
heterosexuality, for that matter?" Only
an extremely arrogant, queer person
would come out with ап answ ause
we have only suppositions. s the
whole question of chromosomes. Re-
member when Renee Richards had to
take a chromosome test to enter a tourna-
ment as a woman?

Here's an example: If a child is born
with its testes up, so that they essen-
tially act as ovaries, and its body then
develops female characteristics, you'd
eventually call it female. In my case,
I was born chromosomally male, so
I must be a man. Yet this other person,
who has developed as a female, has male
XY chromosomes. If you took tests and
compared the two of us, you'd find very
little di
L You know, it has become difficult to
separate, to draw the linc. We have to be
very careful what we call anything.
man, а woman, a heterosexual, a homo-
sexual. It's likc—its the last stronghold.
PLAYBOY: We were talking about parents.
Just as some parents fear having their
children taught by a homosexual, do you
think some parents fear the effect some
one like you might have on their children?
CARLOS: Why?

PLAYBOY: In the casc of homosexuality,
there’s probably some kind of fear of
contagion.

CARLOS: Contagion? I won't breathe on
them.

PLAYBOY: What about children in your
own life? Does it make you feel unful-
filled as a woman to know you cant
have kidsz

CARLOS: A lot of people can't have chil
dren. I guess in а way it saddens me, but
in another sense І know I'm a career
monster. So many ideas are so much more

erence. She is sterile and so am.

important to me than children. I prob
ably would have chosen mot to have
children, anyway, so I don't mind

particularly.
PLAYBOY: Would you consider marriage?
CARLOS: T would consider anything. But

do I think seriously about marriage? No.
Do I think it would be easy to find some
one who could marry me? Absolutely not
He would have to be a very strange person
to be able to tolerate someone who, as of
this interview, is going to be a publicly
acknowledged transsexual.

PLAYBOY: What if your closest friend,
Rachel, got married?

CARLOS: I try not to think about it. Rachel
and I have lived very closely together for
many years and, to some degree, that will
come to a stop. And that saddens me
frightens me. She has a man, and they're
talking about getting married. So it may
well happen. But it won't be because I've
gone public. Rachel is about the only
person I can name in this intervie

cause she is nor frightened. There is
nothing I can say here that can scare her
So it's not as if I fear rejection by her.
PLAYBOY: But fear of rejection was one of
the shaping influences of your life?
CARLOS: Transsexu
in dealing with the fear of re

was raised as a boy. | wanted love. I
wanted people to like me. So I was not
going to say something that, in my in
fant mind, could cause people to get upset
with me. There is nothing particularly
striking about my background, except
that in my head I had this obsession that
is among my earliest memories. So, in а
way, it's all so boring. I think I would
feel happy if a reaction to this interview
were а yawn. I mean, who cares? Гуе
gone through a procedure. It’s done with.
Just let me live my goddamn life and 1
will let you live yours.

PLAYBOY: It's certainly not boring. And by
doing this interview, you're showing that
you do care.

CARLOS: I don't want to become a prose-
lytizer. I don’t want this interview to
champion the cause. [ think it’s very
important that my condition be acknowl
edged as very rare, so that it’s see
highly unlikely solution for other people
with an unhappy life, or suicidal im-
pulses, as I had. The fact that there were
some "successful" translormations doesn't
erase the many tragic cases in which an
operation was not the full solution for
particular individuals, No one should
follow this hellish path if an alternative
exists. Try other options first.

Sure, it was necessary for me. But I
don't think it's been positive at all. I feel
that what I achieved is the removal of
one very large negative in my life. Now
that I've solved my gender crisis, I've
still got to come to grips with the other
parts of life that go into making a happy
individual: living a productive existence;
having time for other human beings:
having time for passion and compas
sion; having the time to create and shape
the multifaccted diamond that a fine life

can be,

аза

Bald Eagles once soared above America by the tens of
thousands. Today, fewer than 1100 breeding pairs survive
south of Canada. For a freebooklet on how to help save this

extraordinary bird, write Eagle Rare, Box 123, New York, N.Y. 10022.

7 OF EAGLE Е

THE

created.

[HE ONLY 101 PROOF BOURBG

Our 10 long y:

testing produce

and mellon

` 2 h^ ж ГА p x
Ne NN Ni я ге ISIS \Р. $ 4
(а А? ‘aon AS EEE Lae 4
y » Ж ym os t
PT [ vs ЛИР. . A e,
ace LR vay s л |
d à 2- А ЧТ а NS R)
Аһ * ч : DZA D EN В
п c7 te “Spit ДА
м » Py ;
ё > 2 2 0 4M E 7 5
We 2? 2» Be 2 4 ^
? A ә P 2 >
=“ c x > 2 >
с OEC 29 2? 4
T5 "/ ae ay ? »
ED. 0 04 гоа К
44 °4 22 его о о
| ? ? 4 ? « д ? P | >) 27
\ ПА > Pitted. 202-239
\ А E
и «47
N AN ) i S е 2 4
Y \ \ i f f } N оо „5.
ҮҮ, М el N17 EP
۱ f i \ f N & N

By BZ BIL

she was 17, breathless and damp, and i imagined her
an innocent, reckless butterfly struggling т my net

NORMALLY, in descril

ng the life
cycle of ectoparasites for my note-
book, I went into great detail, since
1 hoped to publish an article about
the strangest ones when J returned
home from Africa. The onc excep-
tion was Dermatobia bendiense. I
could not give it my name; I was
not its victim. And the description?
One word: Jerry. 1 needed nothing
more to remind me of the discovery,
and though I fully intend to test my
findings in the pages of an entomo-
logical journal, the memory is still
too horrifying for me to reduce it to
science.

Jerry Benda and I shared a house
the compound of a bush school.
ery F and Saturday night, he
an African girl named Ameena
at the Rainbow Bar and took her

home in а taxi. There was no scan-
dal: No one knew. In the morning,
after breakfast, Ameena did Jerry's
ironing (I did my own) and the
black cook carried her back to town
on the crossbar of his old bike. That
was a hilarious sight. Returning
from my own particular passion,
which was collecting insects in the
fields near our house, I often met
them on the road: Jika in his cook's
khakis and skullcap pedaling the
long:legged Amecna—I must say, she
reminded me of a highly desir
able insect, They yelped as they
dlattered down the road, the deep
ruts making the bicycle bell hiccup
like ап айпи clock. A stranger
would have assumed mese Africans
were man and wife, making an early-
morning foray to the market. The

ILLUSTRATION BY DENNIS MAGDICH

PLAYBOY

112

local people paid no attention

Only I knew that this was the cook
and mistress of a young American who
was regarded at the school as very charm:
ing in his manner and serious in his
work. The cook's laughter was a nervous
giggle—he was afraid of Ameena. But he
was devoted to Jerry and far too loyal to
refuse to do what Jerry asked of him.

Jerry was deceitful, but at the time I
did not think he was imaginative enough
to do any damage. And yet his was not
the conventional double life that most
white people led in Africa. Jerry had
certain ambitions: Ambition makes more
liars than egotism does. But Jerry was so
careful, his lies such modest calculations,
he was always believed. He said he was
from Boston. “Belmont, actually,” he
told me, when I said I was from Medford,
His passport—Bearer’s address—said W:
tertown, He felt he had to conceal it.
That explained a lot: the
living on the lower slopes of the long
hill, between the smoldering steeples of
Boston and the clean, high-priced air of
Belmont. We are probably no more cl
conscious than the British, but when we
make class an issue, seems more than
snobbery. It becomes a bizarre spectacle,
a kind of auention-secking, and I cannot
hear an American speak of his social posi
tion without thinking of a human fly.
one of those tiny men in grubby capes
whom one sometimes sees clinging to the
brickwork of a tall building.

What had begun as fantasy had.
six months of his repeating it
significant place, been made to seem like
fact. Jerry didn't know Africa: His one
girlfriend stood for the whole continent.
And of course he lied to her. I had the
impression that it was one of the reasons
Jerry wanted to stay in Africa, If you
tell enough lies about yourself, they take
hold. It becomes impossible ever to go
back, since that means facing the truth.
In Alica, no one could dispute what
Jerry said he was: a wealthy Bostonian
n a family of some distinction, adven.
ring in Third World philanthropy be-
fore inheriting his father's business.

Rereading the above, 1 think I may be
misrepresenting him. Although he w
undeniably a fraud in some ways, his
fraudulence was the last thing you no
ticed abour him. What you saw first was
a tall good-natured person in his early
is, confidently casual, with easy charm
l a gift for ingenious flattery. When E
told him 1 had majored in entomolog
he called me Doctor. This later becam
Doc. He showed exaggerated respect to
the gardeners and washerwomen at the
school, using the politest phrases when
he spoke to them. He always said “si
10 the students (You, sir, are а lazy
litle creep") which baffled them and
won them over. The cook adored hi
nd even the cook's cook—who

and M and ragged—liked Jerry to the
point where the poor boy would go
through the compound stealing flowers
Irom the Inkpens’ garden to decorate our
table. While I was merely tolerated as an
unattractive and nearsighted bug col-
lector, Jerry was courted by the British
wives in the compound. The wife of the
new headmaster, Lady Sarah (Sir Godfrey
Inkpen had been knighted for his work
in the civil service), usually stopped in to
see him when her husband was away.
Jerry was gracious with her and anxious
ke а good impression. Privately, he
I tits and teeth.”

he said 10 me one da
white wom IL the
d the black ones have all the

“that the
money

look:

didn’ interested in
money,”
“Not fe

interested

realize you wet

Doc" he s
can bu
°

No matter how hard I wied,
not get used to
squawks of pleasure from the next room,
or Jerrys elbows banging against the
wall At any moment, 1 expected. their
humpings and slappings to bring down
the boxes of mounted butterflies I had
hung there. At breakfast, Jerry was his
urbane self, sitting ar the head of the
table while Ameena cackled.

He held a teapot in each hand. "What
will it be, my dear? Chinese or In
tea? Marmalade or Poached ог
scrambled? And may I suggest a kippe?”

"Wopusaf" Ameena would sa
“Idiot!”

uld

lo
hearing Ameena’s

She was lean, angular and. wore a sc
in a handsome turban on her head, “Fd
marry that girl tomorrow," Jerry said,

if she had filty grand.” Her breasts were
full and her skin was like velvet: she
looked majestic. even doing the ironing.
And when I saw her ironing, it struck me
how Jerry inspired devotion in people.

But not any from me. I think I re-
sented him most because he wis new, I
had been in Africa for two years and had
replaced any ideas of sexual conquest
with the possibility of a great entomolog-
ical discovery, But he was not interested
in my experience. There was a great de
1 could have told him. In the meantime,
I watched Jika taking Ameena into town
on his bicycle and 1 added specimens to
my collection.

.
Then, one day, the Inkpens’ daughter

arrived from Rhodesia to spend her

school holidays with her parents.

We had seen her the day after she
rived, admiring the roses in her mother's
den, which adjoined ours. She was
17. and breathless and damp: and so
mall I at once imagined this pi
bunerfly struggling in my net. Her
name was Petra (her parents called her

Per) and her pretty bloom was reckless.
ness and innocence. Jerry said, "Um
g to marry he

"I've been thinking about it,” he said
the next day. “If I just invite her, ГЇЇ
look like a wolf. If I invite the three of
them, it'll seem as if Fm stage managing
it. So ТШ invite the parents—for some
inconvenient time—and they'll have no
cho e if they can bring the
ght too. They'll ask me if
they can bring her. Good thi
have to be alter dark—they'll be af
of someone raping her. Sunday's always
so how about Sunday at
They will deliver her

family day,
ight? Н. gh te
into my ha dis."
The invitation was accepted. And Sir
3odfrey said. “I hope you don't mind if
we bring our daughter

More tl nything, I wished to sce
whether or not Jerry would take Атсе
home that Saturday night. He did—-I sup-
pose he did not want to arouse Amee
suspicions—and on Sunday morni
was break! St as usual and “What will it
be, my ae

and
scones. The powerful fragrance of bak-

ing. so early on a Sunday morning, made
Ameena curious. She sniffed and smiled
and picked up her cup. Then she asked:

What was the cook making?
“Cakes,” said Jerry. He smiled baci

a entered timidly with some toast.
better cook than 1
Chinyanja.

am,”
“L don't

“You're a
Ameena sa
know how to make

Jika looked terribly worried. He
glanced at Jerry
“Have a cake.” said Jerry to Ameena.

Ameena
and said slyly,
for breakfast.
We do,” said Jerry, with guilty rapidi-
ty. "It's an old American custom

Ameena м When she
1 up. he winced. а said. “I
have to make water." It was one of the
few English sentences she knew.

Jerry said, "E think she suspects some-
thing."

As I started to leave with my ner and
my chloroform bottle, | heard a great
fuss in the kitchen, Jerry telling Ame
not to do the ironing, Ameena protest
ing, Jika groaning. But Jerry was angry,
and soon the bicycle was bumping away
from the house: Jika pedaling, Amec:
on the crossbar

“She just wanted to hang around,"
said Jerry. “Guess what the
doing? She was ironir

Tt was early evening when the Inkpens
ived, but night fell before tea
1. Petra sat between her proud
parents, saving what a super house we

pped the cup to her lips
Africans don't eat cakes

was

pou

“Why don’t you run one mile less each day and
let me make up the difference?”

113

PLAYBOY

had, what a super school it was. how
super it was to have a holiday here. Her
monotonous ignorance made her even
more desirable.

Perhaps for our benefit—to show her
oll—Sir Godfrey asked her leading ques-
tions. "Mother tells me you've taken ир
knitting” and "Mother says you've be-
come quite a whiz at math.” Now he
hear you've been doing some

so much,” said Petra. Her face
was shining. “There are some stables
near the school,”

Dances, exams, picnics, house p:

Petra gushed about her Rhodesian
school. And doing so, she made it
seem a distant place—not an African
country at all but а special preserve of

superior English recreations.
I said. "Aren't there

Jerry looked sharply at me.

"Not at the school," said Petra. "There
аге some in town. The girls call them.
nig-nogs.” She smiled. “But they're quite
sweet, actually.

“The Africans,
Sarah.

“The girls," said Petra.

Her father frowned,

Jerry said. “What do you think of
this plac

“Honestly, I think it’s super.”

“Too bad it's so dark at the moment,”
said Jerry. “I'd like to show you my
frangipani,”

“Jerry's famous for that fi
said Lady Saral

Jerry had gone to the French windows
to indicate the gener: rection of the
bush. He gestured toward the darkness
and said. “It’s somewhere over there.

“I see it," said Petra.

The white flowers a
limbs of the frangipani were clearly
visible in the headlights of an approach-

dear?” asked Lady

angipani,"

The Inkpens were staring
I watched Jerry. He had. turned
but kept his composure, “Ah, yes
said, "it's the sister of one of our pupils.
He stepped outside to intercept her, but
Ameena was too quick for him. She
into the parlor, where
the Inkpens sat dumfounded. Then
adfrey, who had been surprised into

stood up and offered Ameena

а nervous grunt and
faced Jerry wore the blacksa
cloak and ls of a village Moslem, Y
had never seen her im anything but a
tight dress and high heels; in that long
cloak, she looked like a very dangerous
fly that had buzzed into the room on
stiff wings.

“How nice to see you,”

Every word was right, but voice had
become shrill. “I'd like you to meet
Ameena flapped the wings of her cloak
n embarrassment and said, “I cannot
stay, And I am sorry for this visit.” She
spoke in her own language, Her voice
was calm and even apologetic.
ps she'd like to sit dow
who was still

away slightly.

Now I saw the look of horror on

Petra's face. She glanced up and down
from the dark shawled head to the
cracked feet, then gaped in bewilder-
ment and fear.
At the Kitchen door, Jika stood with
nds over his ears.
Let's po outside,
Chinyanja.

“It is not necessary," said Amee
have something for you. 1 can give
you here."

Jika ducked into the kitchen and shut
the door.

"Here" said
with her cloak.

Jerry said quickly, "No," and turned
as if to avert the thrust of a dagger.

But Ameena had taken a soft gift-
wrapped parcel from the folds of her
cloak. She handed it to Jerry and with-
out turning to us, flapped out of the
room. She became invisible as soon as
she stepped into the darkness. Before any
one could speak, the taxi was speeding
y from the house.

Lady Sarah said, "How very odd."

“Just a courtesy call," said Jerry, and
mazed me with a succession of plausible
lies, “Her brother's in form four—a very
bright boy, as a matter of fact. She was
her pleased by how well he'd done in
his exams. She stopped in to say thanks.

“That's very Alrican," said Sir God-
frey.

“Irs lovely when people drop in
said Petra. “It’s really quite a compli
ment.

Jerry was smiling weakly and eying the
window, as if he expected Ameena to
thunder in once again and split his head
open. Or perhaps not. Perhaps he w
congratulating һйпзеН that it had all
gone so smoothly.
dy Sarah said, “Well, aren't you
going to open i

“Open what” said Jerry, and then he
realized that he was holding the parcel.

You mean this?

1 Jen

Ameena. She fumbled

“I wonder what it could be,"
Petra,
I prayed that it was nothing frighten

. 1 had heard stories of jilted lovers"
sending aborted fetuses to the men who
ad wronged them.

“Ladore opening parcels,” said Petra.
Jerry tore ой the wrapping paper but
satisfied himself that it was nothing

inci
Inkpens.

“Is it a shirt?” said Lady Sarah.

"It's а beauty,” said Sir Godfrey.

It was red and yellow and green, with
embroidery at Ше collar and cuffs; an
Alricin design. Jerry said, “I should
give it back. It's a sort of bribe, isn’t

“Absolutely not," said Sir Godfrey. “
insist you keep it.”

“Put it on!” said Petra.

Jerry shook his head. Lady Sarah said.
"Oh, do!

"Some other time," said Jerry. He
tossed the shirt aside and told a long
humorous story of his sisters wedding
reception on the family yacht, And. bc-
fore the Inkpens left, he asked Sir God-
frey with old-fashioned formality if he
ight be allowed to take Petra on a day
p to the local tea estate.

e welcome to use my

ng before he showed it to the

if you

It was only after the Inkpens had gone
that Jerry began to tremble. He tottered
to a chair, lit a Ggarette and said, “That
was the worst hour of my life. Did you
see her? Jesus! I thought that was the
end. But what did I tell you? She sus-
pected something!”

“Not necessa +” I said.

He kicked the shirt noticed he was
hesitant to touch it—and said, "Whats
this all about, then?

“As vou told Inky—it's a present.

"She's a witch,” said Jerry. "She's up
to something.

"You're c |. "What's more,
you're unfair. You kicked her out of the
house. She came back to ingratiate her-
self by giving you a present—a new shirt
for all the ones she didn't have a chance
to iron. But she saw our neighbors. I
don't think she'll be back.”

"What amazes m id у your
presumption. I've been sleeping with
Ameena for six months, while you've
been playing with yourself, And here
you are, trying to tell me about her!
You're incredibl

Jerry had the worst weakness of the
: He never believed anything you
told him

1 said, "What are you going to do with
the shirt

Clearly, this had been worrying him
But he said nothing.

Late that night, working with my
specimens, I smelled acrid smoke. I went
to the window. The incinerator was
alight: Jika was cou and stirring
the flames with a stick.

Humber. 1 spent the day with my
rather resenting the thought that Jerry

net,

had all the luck. First Ameena, now

(continued on page 252)

7279 арра

this spring, colorful umbrellas ате definitely on the rise

No, that's not René Magritte, it's

а bowler-hatted, brolly-toting man
obout Monhatton, stonding high ond
dry under о handsome polyester/cotton
umbrella, by Liberty Umbrella, $20.

Give our chop Liberty Islond or—
better yet—give him o Pierre
Cardin-designed nylon umbrella with
an Italian hordwoed handle ond a
wooden shonk, by Mespo Umbrella, $30

ETC PE ف‎

118

for the first time, marilyn's personal confidante tells what
everyday life was like for the most famous sex symbol of them all...

THE
PRIVATE
LIFE OF
MARILYN
MONROE

memoir

By LENA PEPITONE
and WILLIAM STADIEM

1 FIRST RANG THE BELL of Marilyn Mon-
roe’s New York apartment on an Octo-
ber day in 1957. I was applying for the
job as her personal maid and seamstress,
and my heart was pounding. I expected
the famous blonde sex goddess to greet
me, so 1 was caught off guard when the
door swung open and I saw only a trim,
silver-haired woman in her late 50s,
dressed in gray

“We've been waiting for you." The
lady did not bother to introduce herself
I soon learned that she was May Reis,
Marilyn's private secretary and manager
of the houschold.

She looked over two reference letters 1
had brought. She asked me very litte and
told me even less. І worried that someone
else had already gotten the job and that
she was simply going through the mo-
tions, but before I had completely given
up hope, a figure stumbled through the
office doorway. It was Marilyn. Totally

nude.

сизе me," she squealed. Tt was an

d times.
ar clothes

apology I was to hear a thou
Marilyn simply didn't like to w
around the house.

“I'm Lena Pepitone, the girl from the
employment agency.” Marilyn's hands
and legs relaxed. She stood and stared at
me in a daze.

"Come with me" Marilyn took my
hand and led me into the living room.
She kept looking at me, and I looked
just as hard. She was anything but what
І had expected. Her blonde hair, which
appeared unwashed, was a mess. Without
makeup, she was pale and tired looking,
Her celebrated figure seemed more ov
weight than voluptuous. I was astonished
by the way she smelled. She needed a
bath. Badly. Still, she was pretty.

Sprawled on a white couch, she brought
to mind a deluxe prostitute on the morn-
g after a busy night in a plush bordello,
the kind my brothers used to whisper

bout when we were growing up in
Naples. She seemed bored.

The large living room where we sat

reminded me of a hotel. There was
white piano, some nondescript white
sofas and wall-to-wall white carpeting
marred by many stains. The view of the
buildings across the street was gloomy.
Floor-to-ceiling mirrors were everywhere.
Even the dining alcove at the rear of the

living room had a table with a mirrored
top.

No sooner had Marilyn and I sat down
bloody

than she tok a long slug from
"What's your name ар;
" she said with a sheepish grin.
Lena Pepitone.”
"Gee, you're Italian. I love It
she swooned. "I was married to an Italian

guy.”

ight. Joe DiMaggio. I know.”
“We're going to be good friends,” she
id softly.

She was right.

he next morning, I followed May
through the foyer and into the bedroom
wing of the apartment. "Is Lena here?"
The unmistakable voice came from the

...and reveals the lonely, childish, unwashed, promiscuous and
frightened woman behind the glamorous mask

ILLUSTRATIONS BY DENNIS MAGDICH

first bedroom off the long corridor, with
its wall-to-wall carpeting that matched
the living-room rug, stains included.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I
was amazed to see that Marilyn's room
was tiny. The bed had no headboard.
‘The only other furniture was a rickety
gray night stand with a lamp, a small
matching bureau, a little record player
on the floor and a black telephone by
the bed, also on the floor. There were no
paintings in the cramped, square room,
only mirrors covering the entire wall be-
hind the big bed and the wall to the left
of the bed, where the closets were. Inside
опе closet door was a huge photograph
of DiMaggio. There were only two w
dows in the room, both covered with
heavy draperies.

Marilyn was sprawled nude on top of
the disarrayed white sheets. A gray-satin
quilt had fallen onto the floor at the foot
of the bed. She rolled around, wrapping,
then unwrapping herself in the jumble
of sheets, She seemed to be trying to get
up but couldn't. With her black sleeping
mask, she looked like a naked, female
Lone Ranger.

“Lena,” she said sweetly, “could you
get me my bloody mary?”

“I think it's coming with your break-
fast."

“Now,” she pleaded. “Could I have it
now?” I went back into the kitchen and
took the cocktail off the breakfast tray
the cook, Hattie, was preparing to take
in.

"Can't wait, huh?” Hattie asked. I
shrugged.

"Oh, thanks" Marilyn said. She had
taken off the mask and was sitting up.
She quickly gulped the drink down. Soon
Hattie came in with the breakfast tray
and placed it on the bed. Marilyn wolfed
down her meal, scattering toast crumbs
all over the sheets.

When I made an effort to open the
draperies, Marilyn shrieked, “No! Don’t!”
Instead, she switched on the lamp on the
night stand. “That’s better. I can’t stand
light this early." There was no clock in

the room, so 1 glanced at my watch.-It
was 11:30.

After Marilyn finished her breakfast,
she flopped back onto the mattress. I was
id she was going back to sleep. “Well,
what can I do for you today?" I really
asked it just to keep her awake.

Marilyn made a face, then grabbed a
pillow and buried her head in it. Then
she slowly rolled over and out of bed.
The short walk to her large closet was a
major effort. She pulled out a white-
linen dress, sleeveless, clingy and cut low
in the froi "Can you let this out? It's.
too tight. ГЇЇ show you." As she strug-
gled to fit into the dress, she sensed my
amazement that she was trying it on
without underwear.

"It might be better if...”

“1 never wear anything underneath,"
she said.
lothing>”

“Why? Who needs it?”

1 checked the seams of the dress and
its lining to see how much there was to
let out. As I got closer to Marilyn, my
senses immediately told me that she was
a day dirtier and more unkempt than
when I had left her.

1 finished my measurements. There was
barely enough material in the dress to
cover Marilyn's backside. She wriggled
out of the dress, then stood admi
herself in the mirror. She cupped her
breasts with her hands, pushing them up
to check their firmness. She turned several
full, slow circles, using both of her wall
mirrors to scrutinize every angle.

"You have a beautiful figure," I com-
plimented her. I had the fecling she was
looking for praise.

“Thank you," she replied. sincerely.
"My ass is way too big."

"Its sexy," 1 answered, and we both
laughed.
like you,” Marilyn said.
меп, let me fix you a bath,” I sug-
gested. “That'll wake you up.”

“No! I don't want a bath! Champagne!
"That's what I need,” she said, as if struck.
by a brain storm. “Would you get it for

121

PLAYBOY

me in the kitchen? Just ask Hattie. She
knows. Thanks a lot

Hattie gave me a knowing wink when
1 conveyed Marilyn's request. She opened
the refrigerator to reveal a dozen small
bottles of Piper-Heidsieck. She also
showed me a cabinet stocked with many
more of the same. There were enough
for a month at least.

And my next couple of months with
Marilyn were very much the same as my
first day. I rarely saw her playwright hus-
band, Arthur Miller. Marilyn's life was
incredibly monotonous. Her doctors’ ap-
pointments (I later learned these were
appointments with ps ists) and her
acting lessons were virtually all she had
to look forward to. She spent most of her
time in her little bedroom, sleeping, look-
ing at herself in the mirrors, drinking
bloody marys or champagne and talking
on the phone, which seemed to be her
greatest pleasure.

"That was Billy Wilder." Or "That
was Laurence Olivier." Or “That was
Montgomery Clift,” I remember her say-
ing excitedly.

But the calls she enjoyed the most—
and talked the longest on—came from
DiMaggio and Frank Sinatra. A call from
cither one could keep her smiling for
hours. Aside from the phone, however,
Marilyn had few interests. I never saw
her read a book or a newspaper.

Marilyn owned four mink coats, in
brown and white, a lot of scarves—but,
of course, no underwear at all. In the
bathroom vanity, she stored bottles and
bottles of her favorite perfume, Chanel
No. 5, along with the more expensive
Joy. But rarely did she ever perfume her-
self, let alone bathe or shower. In fact,
her small bathroom didn’t even have a
shower curtain. Mr. Miller used а sepa-
rate bathroom adjacent to the bedroom
on the other side of the hall.

For someone who didn't like the tub,
Marilyn spent an unusual amount of time
in the bathroom. I often wondered what
she could be doing in there for so long,
especially since the mirrors in the bed-
тооп were so much better for admiring
herself, which she liked to do. One day,
thinking Marilyn was out, I went into
her bathroom to straighten up and I
found her perched on the toilet, legs up,
performing an elaborate ceremony with
a bottle of some chemical and two tooth-
brushes. She was bleaching her pubic
hair blonde. She shrieked h embarrass-
ment so loudly that May came in through
the other bathroom door, which led to
her office. May's cyes bulged out, but she
discrectly exited when she saw that
Marilyn was all right.

І, on the other hand, was so embar-
rassed that І was unable to move. Both
Marilyn and I were beet red. She started

122 laughing uncontrollably. “Now you know

my secret,” she roared. “You know, it
has to match my hair." I had always
assumed that Marilyn was a natural
blonde, and naturally blonde all over.
Now I knew better. "With all my white
dresses and all, it just wouldn't look nice
to be dark down there. You could see
through, you know," she said.

that safe, what you're doing?”

Us a pain in the ass,” she laughed
again. “It burns and sometimes I get
these infections. But what else сап 1 do?”

Two days later, I found Marilyn in
bed with а big ice bag between her legs.
"What's the matter?" 1 asked.

“Lt got all swollen from the bleach," she
whined, She pushed the ice bag closer to
herself. A high price, I thought, for be-
ing a blonde sex goddess.

When Marilyn went to the doctor's or
to The Actors Studio, she couldn't have
cared less about her appearance. But on
the few occasions when she did go out
on the town, to premieres and the like,
she became incredibly concerned about
looking her best.

‘The preparations would begin carly in
the morning with the arrival of Kenneth,
her hairdresser. He always brought а
newspaper to read, because Marilyn in-
variably kept him waiting for an hour.

Eventually, Marilyn would get up, run
а comb through her hair and splash some.
icr on her face, put on her white robe
id come out to greet Kenneth. Y was
surprised that she wasn't ashamed to look
so sloppy in front of such an important
beauty expert, “Hi,” she would say, giv-
ing him a big ling alluringly.
She fidgeted with her robe, teasingly
flashing it open and shut to distract К
neth from the annoyance he must have
felt for having been kept waiting. He
simply steered Marilyn back toward
the bathroom for a long-nceded shampoo.

While Marilyn sat under her hair
drier, sipping Piper-Heidsieck, Kenneth
finished reading his paper. The real fire-
works began with the styling sessions.
Sometimes. Kenneth would be there for
hours, trying one approach after another.
At each new vision she saw in her mir-
rors, she would scream, “I hate it, I
hate it.

Once Marilyn was finally pleased with
her hair, she turned to greet her make-up
girl, who had driven in from Long Island
in rush-hour traffic, only to be kept м
ing for hours. The make-up sessions were
equally agonizing. There were endless
discussions over shades of lipstick and
eye shadow, false cyelashes, rouge and
powder. Later in the day, after the hair
and face were “perfect,” it was my turn
to help Marilyn select clothes for the
evening. More than once, she became so
frustrated that she began weeping, de-
cided not to go out at all, took some
sleeping pills and passed out.

With few friends, fewer outside inter-
ests and no movies then in the works,
Marilyn had very little to do. So, like
many bored people, she ate.

When she was depressed, she sat
against the pillows on her bed and ate
alone. She gnawed the meat off her lamb
chops, and then unthinkingly dropped
the greasy bones onto the bedclothes.
Sometimes she even wiped her hands on
the sheets before picking up her glass of
champagne. After these meals, of course,
the sheets had to be changed. When
Marilyn had her period, I changed them
several times a day. She didn't like sani
tary napkins апу more than she liked
bathtubs.

She liked Italian food. In fact, she
loved it. Gradually, my specialties be-
came part of her daily diet, and she even
devoured cold leftovers with gusto.
“Don't throw anything away." she always
said. What I cooked, she would eat in
bed more often than not.

“The Romans used to eat like you d.
I said.

I uied to teach Marilyn to eat spa-
ghetti with a fork and a spoon. “It's
neater,” I explained, showing her the
Italian way of twirling the fork against
the bowl of the spoon. She refused to try.

“I'm not Italian,” she said, teasing me
as she dribbled unruly strands of pasta
all over her body. Once, she wrapped two
long, loose noodles around her breasts.
"Look at me," she howled, pufüng her
chest out, “This is my idea of wearing
a bra."

Whatever and whenever she ate, cti-
quette never concerned Marilyn. Among.
her unpleasant habits were incessant
belching and farting. I later learned that
she suffered from a bad gall bla
which may have caused her di
troubles. However, when she was aware
of it, she found her noisemaking hilarious.

One night, she said that she had a
craving for Italian food. I had never
stayed late before, and I was excited that
this would be my first chance to see Mr.
and Mrs. Miller together.

I prepared a simple meal of spaghetti
with fresh tomato sauce, chicken cac
ciatore and salad, then I set the
dining-room table. I got out a split of
champagne for Marilyn, white wine for
Arthur Miller, and I called Marilyn to
dinner. I felt very awkward about dis-
turbing Miller in his study, His formality
was unpleasant; it put me on edge.
Marilyn entered the dining room wear-
g a white-terrycloth robe, which, to
her, was dressing for dinner. They sat at
the table and ate without speaking for
the longest time, Marilyn looked at her
husband admiringly and longingly, as if
she were dying for attention. However,
he just ate quietly and did not look at
her. Finally, she broke the silence.
"Arthur" (1 never heard Marilyn call her

PLAYBOY

husband Darling, Sweetheart or anything
other than his first name), “you said
something about going to a movie to-
night. I'd love it if we could go some-
where.”

“Maybe later.” he answered coolly. He
explained that he had some work to
finish. IF he did, they could go out.
Marilyn seemed excited by the mere pos-
sibility. After they finished dinner, with
no further conversation, Miller thanked
me for the meal, returned to his study
and closed the door.

Marilyn jumped up from the table апа
pulled me after her into her room. I
hadn't seen her this excited before.

"I think мете going out!" she ex-
claimed. "Help me find something beau-
tiful to wear." We picked out, without
any difficulty, а whitesilk blouse and
matching slacks. She began to look, for
once, like the Marilyn of my fantasies.
She even took the bobby pins out of her
hair and combed it until the blonde
mane was rich and luxurious. She went
into her bathroom and actually put on
make-up, brightred lipstick, mascara,
rouge. At last I saw the famous image so
many fans dreamed about.

“You look wonderful,” I said.

"Oh. 1 hope so" She raced back
through the living room and knocked on
Miller's forbidding door. She came out
quickly, with some of her radiance gone.
"It's still maybe," she moaned; "he's not
finished.”

Every time she heard a noise in the
hall, she looked up anxiously, hoping it
was Miller. After an hour, she went again
to the study. This time, she walked very
slowly. 1 sensed she knew what his an-
swer would be. Marilyn tapped quietly
оп the study door, then went in, In a
second, she came out, sobbing to herself.
Her make-up was running all over her
cheeks. Back in her room, she ripped her
blouse off and hurled it across the room.
“Shit. My life is shit,” she wept. “I can’t
go anywhere, I'm a prisoner їп this
house." Kicking off her slacks, she fell
onto the bed, weeping uncontrollably.

Thad no idea what to do.

“Why do you stay in New York instead
of returning to Hollywood?” I asked her
after one such outburst,

“Arthur. He's why I stay in New York.
He was going to make my life different,
a lot better,” she would often cry in
despair. Evidently, the “better” hadn't
happened, and she was very frustrated
by it. Frequently, she told me Miller was
the key to the existence she wanted to
have.

Miller seemed a very distant husband.
Marilyn maintained the greatest respect
for him and his work. She always warned
people to hush if they were chatting too
loudly near his study. If there were ever

124 any guests—agents, lawyers and the like—

she would take them into her bedroom
to entertain them. “Arthur's writing,”
she'd whisper solemnly. “He needs total
quiet."

As for Marilyn and Arthur themselves,
their only real contact seemed to occur
late at night, after I left. Whenever they
ate together, there was little discussion,
only longing looks on Marilyn's part. "I
wish he'd say more to me,” she once con-
fided. “He makes me think I'm stupid.
Im afraid to bring things up, because
maybe they are stupid. Gee, he almost
scares me sometimes.

I wondered when Marilyn and Arthur
had the opportunity to have any time to
be romantic. He was always up well be-
fore she was. He had own bathroom,
kept his clothes in a separate hall closet
and virtually lived in his study. He rarely
ventured into her bedroom during the
day. He would usually have lunch alone,
walked the dog by himself and seemed to
have more fun talking business with
May, about future projects for Marilyn,
than talking with Marilyn herself.

Nevertheless, after some dinners, М;
ilyn would cuddle up to Miller, which
always brought a boyish grin to his
usually stern face.

And on certain mornings, when I went
in to change Marilyn’s sheets, she would
greet me with the biggest grin. "Wow!"
she once exclaimed, eyes glazed with a
dreamy happiness, as she stretched and
arched her back sensuousl]y “Don't
change these, please,” she said, rubbing
her head along the sheets as if they were
silk. "I want to lie on these all day."

Didn't you sleep?" I asked naively.

“Who said nights were for sleep?” she
winked, I knew she had enjoyed herself.

Evidently, one night did produce the
desired result. In late summer of 1958,
when Marilyn was in Hollywood making
Some Like It Hot, her first movie in over
a year, she found out she was pregnant,
I remember her calling me long distance,
squealing like a little girl. She asked me
to start thinking about names, said that
she wanted me to make certain baby
clothes and that she knew it would be
a girl.

But when Marilyn returned from the
Some Like It Hot filming, her high
spirits had vanished. She began to panic
that the baby wouldn't be all right. She
tried to avoid her normal routine of
champagne and sleeping pills. Yet with-
out these, she was terribly nervous. Nor-
mally, she would have paced about her
bedroom, staring at herself in the mir-
rors, but this, too, she felt would disturb
her baby.

Something did go wrong. One morn-
ing, Marilyn began screaming with in-
tense pain. "I'm going to lose her," she
shrieked. By noon, she was so hysterical
that we all knew this was not a typical

depression. Miller rushed with Mari
to the Polyclinic Hospital оп Manhat-
tan's West Side, near the theater district.
I could hardly work, I was so worried.
about what might happen. Later that
evening, Miller returned with the bad
news. He was always serious and very
composed, but this one time 1 sensed
that he was fighting hard to avoid break-
ing down. He told me that Marilyn had
lost their baby.

And then once Marilyn was home, fre-
quently, I would go into her room and
find pages of different scripts scattered.
all over the bed and floor, sometimes in.
shreds. “I can't learn this,” she would be
screaming. “I can't act. It won't work.”
Once I saw her rip the pages out of a
script and hurl them above her head,
like a snowstorm. Then she started to
weep so hard that only a heavy serving of
champagne could calm her. On nights
like these, I would begin staying on with
her, often until after midnight. During
these late evenings, with everyone gone
and Miller in his study, Marilyn really
started to talk to me.

I learned that she'd had a miserable
childhood—that she'd been shifted from
foster home to foster home. Marilyn
claimed to me that when she was 15,
she'd had a child by one of her foster
fathers, She was sobbing out of control
when she told me that. The baby had
been taken from her against her will.
(Marilyn must have used up an entire
box of Kleenex that night. She just threw
the wet tissues all over the bed and onto
the floor.) She grabbed a bottle of sleep-
ing pills by her bed and popped one
into her mouth, washing it down with
champagne.

When the pill began to take effect and
she quieted down a bit, Marilyn insisted
on talking some more. She told me that
in 1949, right after she lost her baby,
she'd been married for a short time—to
Jim Dougherty, literally the boy next
door. "I was sixteen, he was twenty-one
and already had lots of girlfriends his
age. I kind of looked up to him at chat
time, you know, especially because he
had а car.” Dougherty joined the mer-
chant marine—shipped out—and the
marriage virtually ended, then, although
the divorce came later. Marilyn, alone in
Los Angeles, started going to bars by
herself in the afternoon. “That helped
kill time. J didn't have anything to look
forward to. I liked drinking.

Men had tried to pick Marilyn up
before, she said, but she had always re-
fused on the grounds that she was a
married woman. "It was fun, when they
tried to pick me up," Marilyn confessed.
“Most of them weren't so hot, though.
All the good men scemed to be off fight-
ing somewhere.”

Yet at one particular bar. there were

(continued on page 132)

for the past
five years,
ken marcus

has been
photographing
awesomely
beautiful
women for

playboy
herewith, a
selection

of the best

“А part of me wants to be
Ansel Adams and another part
of me wants to be Cecil В.

De Mille," Marcus canfesses.
He always spends a lot of

fime getting his sets and
‘compositions just so. At

right, January 1976 Playmate
Daina House in а composition
of flesh and fur. Below, Marcus
focuses on prospective
gatefold girl Gig Gangel.

Photography Dy:
KEN MARCUS

KEN MARCUS, at 82, has already established himself as one of the premier glamor photographers in
the world. He started taking pictures when he was eight, studied with Ansel Adams for 13 years
and, for the past five years, has been shooting Playmates and other pictorials for PLAvnoy. Like
Adams, he has a classical sense of design and composition, and maintains that a woman is no
more important to the shot than is the total design of the picture of which she is a part. These
pictures, all done on assignment, attest to Marcus’ meticulous approach to photographic eroticism. 125

At left, porn queen Constance
Money strikes a bawdy attitude, yet
the over-all mood of the shot is
sophisticated. Below, February
1978 Playmate Janis Schmitt
perches playfully in the tower win-
dow of Bernie Cornfcld's mansion,

“Although the face is а woman’s
most expressive feature, her
hands—and even her muscle tone—
also contribute to her body lan-
guage,” says Marcus. Opposite,
Janet Quist, our Miss December
1978, makes the most of all of them.

“Animals react very strangely to
strobe lights. This Doberman kept
Passing out,” Marcus confided after
shooting Suzanne Marie Passi for
And Now Funderwear (left). Above,
Noney Cameron, in a favorite
Marcus shot, touches up her cheek.

“Girls don't have to hove a look of
orgasm on their face to make a
sexy picture,” Marcus tells us. And
the shot opposite of June 1978 Ploy-
mate Gail Stanton proves it, com-
ing a strikingly erotic pose

with a notural faciol expression.

a: NI

m 3 p "

4
F

| t

At left, we see Marcus’ contri-
bution to our А Long Lock af
Legs pictorial. At right, 1976
Ploymate of the Year Lillian
Müller in a pose evocotive of
an old-style bordello, one
Marcus describes os “almost

a little dirty.” Below, Janis
Schmitt proves her ability to
convey a very subtle sexuality.
Marcus gives credit for this
effect partly to stylist Alison
Reynolds’ moke-up skills,
partly to the lighting and the
placement of Janis’ hands.

Tip to the amateur lensman: “If
you want to make a lot of suds, use
bubble bath and whip it up.” At
left, July 1977 Playmate Sondra
Theodore enjoys the results. Below,
Constance Money enhances the very
real beauty of an Alaskan sunset.

At left, Miss October 1976, Hope
Olson, combs her hair in a barn,
right? “Wrong; that was shot in

my studio,” Marcus takes a little
pride in correcting us. “I’m a stick-
ler for details; | want to make the
illusion perfect." And he did.

Opposite, July 1973 Playmate

Martha Smith (vho had a supporting
role in Animal House) gets decked

ovt in frilly drag. “This was ап

exceptionally goad shooting. Every-

thing was going right and Martha
looked absolutely fabulous.”

It took days of set construction
and then several more days of
lighting tests to achieve the above
shot for a pictorial that, ironically
enough, was never published.

The TV picture was created with

а strobe-illuminated photo.

PLAYBOY

MARILYN MONROE

(continued from page 124)

“She had a special power over men. ‘I didn’t have to
say a word. Just take my dress off?”

other compensations. One person, a mid-
dle-aged man who told her he worked in
the film husiness, just wouldn't give up.
He offered Marilyn $15 to leave with
him. “At first I was shocked," she said.
"I hadn't been around enough to know
what was going on. He had a suit on, so
I didn't think he could hurt me. When I
started thinking about a new dress I
wanted and couldn't afford, well . . .
I was pretty drunk, too . . . so І said
OK. I still wasn't sure what he wanted to
do." Marilyn described how they went
to the hotel where the man was staying.
He asked her to take off her clothes. “E
thought that was a pretty good deal for
fifteen dollar:

According to Marilyn, she went back
to that bar and others like it fairly often.
For her, it was an easy way to pick up
extra moncy. Further, she said she got a
Kick out of seeing how excited the men
would get when she took off her clothes.
“They would tell me that I was beauti-
ful, wonderful, you name it. They all
acted the same way.” It made her feel
that she had a special power over men.
"I didn't have to say a word. Just take
my dress off.”

‘One of the men Marilyn met this way
told her he was a Hollywood agent.
“These bars were full of agents,” she said.
“Or at least guys who claimed they were.
A lot of the who hung out
hoped they would bre
way.” This agent was nicer than most,
she said. “He really liked me, I think.
We met a few times. He told me that I
was special and that I had the looks to
be in movies, He said that if I did this,
what I was doing, with the right men, 1
might be able to be in pictures. I laughed
at him and told him I couldn't act. And
he said neither could so-and-so or so-and-
so. He named some of the big actresses
then. I thought about it after he left. You
know, I decided, maybe he was right."
She laughed.

Marilyn laughed whenever I asked her
about breaking into show business and.
her first contract with 20th Century-Fox.

"What did you do in your screen test
I asked her one evening. “What part did
you playz"

“Part? I didn't say a word. Blonde hair
and breasts, thats how I got started."
Once, suddenly, she got on her knees on
the bed and looked at her chest in the
mirror. She held up her breasts. *
were better then, firmer," she moaned,

132 and drank some more champagne. Then

she ran her fingers through her hair,
greasy from days of neglect. She made
another face, as if she were not at all
happy with the way she looked. She
that for her test, she had dyed her hair a
brighter shade of blonde, “The blonder
the better. Men have this weakness for
blonde hair. It's true! I couldn't act. The
reason I got ahead is that I was lucky
and met the right men.

And the right men liked her. She told
me how all the top bosses would make it
а point to "inspect" all the new starlets
who had come onto the lot. “The worst
thing a girl could do was say no to these
guys. She'd be finished," she said.

Marilyn described how all the starlets
would put themselves on review at spe-
cial parties given at two big night clubs.
These private affairs were usually given
the night before the opening of a major
singer or some other name act. "Ever!
body in Hollywood was there to check
over the new girls,” Marilyn said. “We
had our choice. We could be picked up
by some handsome young actor and have
a little fun. Or we could go off with some
old bigwig and make a few dollars; or, if
we were really lucky, we could get
to help us find a part. Most of us always
tried to find an old guy. I got to be
known pretty quick. They considered me
а hot number back then,” she laughed.

To give me more of an idea of what
Hollywood life was like, Marilyn told
me all about Joe Schenck, one of the
studio's founders. He was a bald, bear-
like man of about 70, with a huge nosc
and a huge cigar. He had been married
to silent-movie star Norma Talmadge,
who had left him for George Jessel. He
had a $1,000,000 yacht and a reputation
around Hollywood as a man who could
buy any woman he wanted.

"He had me come over to his hou:
she said. “It was a mansion. I had never
been anyplace that. He had -the
greatest food, too. That's when I learned
about champagne, What I liked was hear-
ing about all the stars I had seen in the
movies. Joe knew them all. He seemed
to have this thing about breasts. After
dinner, he told me to take my clothes off
and he would tell me Hollywood stories.
I would just listen to those wonderful
tales about John Barrymore, Charlie
Chaplin, Valentino, everybody, and Mr.
Schenck would play with my breasts. He
didn't want to do much else, since he was
getting old, but sometimes he asked me
to kiss him—down there." Marilyn gri-

maced, pointing to her privates. “I never
want to have 10 do that anymore,” she
blurted out, with what seemed to be in-
tense, pent-up disgust. “It would seem
like hours, and nothing would happen,
but I was afraid to stop. I felt like gag-
ging, but if I did, I thought he'd get
insulted. Sometimes, he'd just fall aslecp.
If he stayed awake, he'd pat my head,
like a puppy, and thank me. All the other
girls thought I really had it made. At
Teast the food was good.”

All Marilyn's efforts for Schenck
seemed to have been in vain. Fox
dropped her from her contract after her
first year. Despite Schenck's former pow-
er, he had recently gone to prison in
connection with labor racketeering in the
film business, Even though he had been
pardoned, the cloud of gangland connec-
tions still hung over his head.

“I kept thinking all he had to do was
make onc call for me, but he wouldn't
push. ‘It'll happen,’ was all he said.”
Still, he kept having her drop by for
storytelling sessions and told her to be
patient. “I didn't have anywhere else to
go. I didn't have a job. Joe was my only
hope."

Her hoping eventually paid off. After
several frustrating months of unemploy-
ment, during which she supported her-
self by modeling and bar-hopping,
Marilyn was introduced by Schenck to
Harry Cohn, the head of Columbia Pic-
tures. “Joe was like Clark Gable by com-
parison, Mr. Cohn wasn't even the kind
who said hello first. He just told you to
get in bed. For him, women were slaves.

Cohn did put Marilyn’s name up in
lights, though, giving her second billing
in a movie called Ladies of the Chorus.
“I kept driving past the theater with my
name on the marquee. Marilyn Monroe!
Wow! Was I excited!

After that picture, however, Cohn and
Columbia dropped Marilyn. She told me
how, more an: ing, she got.

Thad to wiggle acros:
jiggling my backside for a week. Groucho
loved it. His eyes popped ош. I remember
he made this joke offscreen. He said,
"Young lady, I think you're a case of
arrested development, With your devel-
opment, somebody's bound to get ar-
rested.’

Despite this spotty progress, Marilyn
was beginning to panic. She needed a
new sponsor who would giye her the
cucial push. She got it with Johnny
Hyde, who she proudly said was the most.
important agent in Hollywood.

"He told me he had discovered Lana
Turner and now he was discovering me,
and that I'd go even further. That ma
me dizzy." Again, sex entered the pic
ture. Hyde was dapper and well dressed

(continued on page 196)

PAST THEIR PRIME

in those extra innings, athletes run the thinnest base line
of all—the one separating prevailing from merely hanging on

sports By ROGER KAHN

THE PITCHER telephoned me, which should inform you that he was a
veteran athlete. Young baseball players do not waste change tele-
phoning writers who are male.

He was coming to town, the pitcher said, and he was going to
start a baseball game in Yankee Stadium. There weren't many games
left in his arm and I knew that he had (continued on page 274)

ILLUSTRATION BY ERALDO CARUGATI

WORKING
STREET

article By JULES SIEGEL hanging out with the vice squad teaches you
many things, not the least of which is the folly of the phrase victimless crime

ILL CALL IT something like Working Vice,
the voice on the phone commanded sooth;
ly. “You'll make busts with the vice squad."

“Why me?" I whimpered. “

“Because you are a four-cyed skinny Jewish
tual profligate who will be the last person in the world
to approve of busting people for those kinds of crimes.”

How true. As J. P. Donleavy said, “Writing is turning
one's worst moments into money."

Making an appointment for a worst moment is no
easier than arranging for a great moment. Vice squads
do not seck publicity, it scems. The Los Angeles Police
Department doesn't approve of PLAvBoy—but at least
they return my calls to tell me so, From the others all
over the West, silence,

Finally, through the good offices of Los Angeles Times
reporter Al Martinez, San Francisco Police Chief Charles
Gain opens the door. І have a telephone conversation
with Captain Shaughnessy, then head of the Vice Crimes
Division. “How would you like to be the decoy,” he asks,

“and help us make some busts?”

Help make busts? My father was a professional crimi.

nal who did eight years in solitary detention at Danne-

ra. His cover was loan-sharking, as close to being
straight as he could aim. Actually, he was robbing fac-
tory payrolls by frontal assault with machine guns. Once
I put my hand in his coat pocket to sneak change and
found bullets. A police captain was one of the pall-
bearers at his funeral: a good cop. On the take, What
other definition was there? One unde had been straight,
a cantor in the temple at 16. He was picked up by the
police for questioning in a burglary committed by
friends. They broke his balls. Literally. Crushed his
testicles. He was never sane again. What would my
father think of my busting someone?

Who cares? It’s pay the rent or hit the streets, Maybe
the plane will be hijacked and I can write about that.

.
SAN FRANCISCO, Veteran’s Cab number 231,

I know that I am supposed to love San Francisco, but
I don't. It is a nasty place, cold and bitchy, a city run by

interior decorators. Hollywood pretending to be New
York, totally without heart. Los Angeles is generous and
sensuous: plastic, perhaps, but true to itself, Culturally,

San Francisco is a suburb of Los Angeles, and all the
wooden Victorian houses on Pacific Heights don't change
that a bit, no matter how tastefully furnished.

Sexually, the Bay Area is, indeed, the land of con-
senting adults, but everyone is so blown out on drugs
and alcohol that there's not much really to consent to.
As Douglas Mount put it when he was with Straight
Arrow Books, “They're all jacking off, but no one's com-
ing. They keep stroking that thing, but they can’t get it
to squi Ah, yes, San Francisco, what a great place to
commit suicide! Alcoholism is the number-one growth
industry and fog the most significant product.

ST. FRANCIS HOTEL, room 457.

I lie on the bed, reading a sheaf of Xerox copies of
library research and interview notes like any corporate
functionary on a business trip. “То live outside the law,
you must be honest, Bob Dylan sang in Absolutely
Sweet Marie. To live outside the law, you must be hon-
est, because you are moying in uncharted currents where
no one can tell you right from wrong. There is no
honesty quite as dramatic as prostitution. You do it for
the money. That's it. Maybe you get sweaty and come,
but the primary lubricant is cash, and if you want the
cash, you give them what they want. Here is what the
Xerox copies say:

The entire notion of vice crime is pretty much an
invention of industrialism. The word vice originally
meant blemish, Sin is a breach of divine Јам, crime any
act prohibited by political law, while vice is the public
display of offensive acts. The worm in the apple is
The hole it makes is as drinking alco-
hol, which may be neither a sin nor a crime, becomes a
vice when repeated to the point of attracting unfavora-
ble public notice. In modem usage, it is this obsessive
factor that is stressed. Gambling, drug abuse, prostitu-
tion, sexual promiscuity and (continued on page 181)

ILLUSTRATION BY MILOU HERMUS

135

SMART NEW HOT-SHOTS

a whole new breed of computerized whiz-kid 35mm cameras has been developed that do everything but choose the subject

Se the Minois CAMERAS STILL can't think, command-of-exth higher con™

mognetic shutter “but they haye gotten pretty. siderations as aesthetic judg- -

me- smart. They have achieved a ‘ou still supply the reak-
-medullalike intelligence that -brains of thée_outfit—but at
тоге pressure наре. the shutter; lets them regulate certain re—least—the mere nécemities of
$530, with a 1.4 lens. The-Avio’—flexive funettons-aitby them- ^ phetography-canbe relegated
Winder. FE 6525 ditiis жек This cem give th them to- (i ned- on-page-224)

Below: The Сотох RTS 35mm
SLR camera incorporates the
principle of real time—camputer
terminology that refers ta the
absence of physical time lag as
it performs its functions, by
Yashica, $813.90, with o 1.4 lens.

Below: Conon's А-1 SLR has а
six-made exposure system far the
widest variety of shooting situ-
ations, $630, with a 1.8 lens, plus
optional motor $247, and
а compoct NiCd pack for re-
charging the motor drive, $144.

Abave: Yoshico's FRII features а
view finder with an easy-focusing
split image, exposure campen-
satian diol for correcting bock-
lit subjects, lockoble exposure
check button and a film-reminder
holder, $430, with о 17 lens.

Above: Special air dampers on
the Olympus OM-2 Chrome moke
shooting quiet and vibratian-free;
furthermore, the unit's electronic
fiash exposure is controlled by
the OM-2's internal light sen-
sors, $616, including a 1.4 lens.

Below: The Mamiya NC1000
35mm SLR comero, distributed
by Bell & Howell Mamiya, has an
electronic shutter system and an
easy-to-use view finder that frames
exoctly what you'll be shaot-
ing, $449.95, including a 1.4 lens.

Below: Nikon's FE is a light-
weight, campact 35mm SLR with a
host af reliable features, includ-
ing automatic electronic exposure
control, $706.50, with a 1.8 lens.
For truly macho shooting, add
an МО-11 motor drive, $291.50.

CALIFORNIA GIRL

may playmate michele drake is living proof that the beach boys were right

ICHELE DRAKE stands near the shore line of Venice Beach in California, “Z enjoy making love on the
her faded jeans rolled up to her knees, her long blonde hair rising beach,” says Michele. “But
gently with the breeze, her brightred Hawaiian shirt fluttering against only if it's very warm out. I
her body; she doesn’t seem to have anything on underneath, Michele like to hear the rhythm of

skims a stone off the crest of a wave and, eyes glittering with the reflection the waves breaking against
of the warm California sun, clears a strand of hair from her face. “The the shore when I make love.” 139

ch is the best place for me to
think,” sl imming another
pebble. "Believe it or not, Fm a
native Californian, born in La Jolla

girl, as basic as they come." 4

wagon pulls up in the lot and a lone
surfer, carrying a polished red surf-
board, heads toward the

chele watches nostalgical

was a big surfer scene when I went
to high school,” she says, “Everybody

“Believe it or not, I

have no sexual hang-ups
whatsoever. Sexual han
are for the birds."

t prude in high school,” says
“Га go up to about third base, but that
was it. Finally, I got sick of hearing about sex, so
I tried it and, naturally, Гос loved it ever since.”

142

“I can be very affectionate if Рт with the right guy. I
especially like to cuddle. And I just love to have my
breasts kissed—it's one of my major erogenous zones.”

wore Hawaiian shirts and if the girls didn't have blonde hair, they'd bleach
it. I was into body surfing, but my boyfriend was a great surfer. On Satur-
day mornings, we'd get up at six to get to the beach around seven—surfers
always get up early, because the waves are better. The girls would sit around,
watching the guys surf. I used to drive a gigantic Dodge Coronet and on
Saturday nights, I'd stuff eight girls into it. There was always a beach party
or a house party or а pool party to go to then,” The Jone surfer, lying on his
board some distance from shore, is waiting for a big one. Michele counts the
waves to herself. “Do you know I'm a direct descendant of Sir Francis Drake?”
she says, stuffing her hands into her jeans pockets. “Once, when I was in

Says Michele, one of the finalists in our Great Playmate
Hunt, “Га have to say that I don’t do a lot of fantasizing.
Most of my life seems like a fantasy, anyway.”

“Asa kid, I uscd to roller-skate

all the time. Roller rinks were

about the best place to тесі guys.

These shots were taken at Venice

Beach, a favorite local skating spot [Е
(see “Playboy's Roving Eye”). |

144

Mexico, I was at a certain beach and I got this very strange
feeling about the place—almost mystical. Later, someone told
me that Sir Francis Drake had landed there. Maybe that's why
1 fel so good at that spot.” Wistfully, she gazes at the water.
Then, suddenly, she sheds her jeans and shirt, revealing а tiny
black bikini underneath. Without a word, she runs into the surf.
Thigh-deep in salt water, she turns to wave, her tanned body
glistening in the spray. Yes, indeed, the Beach Boys were right.

Michele attends Richard Simmons’ exercise classes
at a place called the Anatomy Asylum. "It gets
a bit erotic,” she says, “especially during the hip thrusts.”

GATEFOLD PHOTOGRAPHY BY FIGGE STUDIOS

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

2
МАМЕ:

BUST: 3A vast: 244 pms 344 ba

^u
HEIGHTS D werc: ا‎

BIRTH DATE: э ы о She

GOALS: Acting УУ LB LOP A

FAVORITE 9 > o 0 UAR D ОК
FAVORITE YE. даал, m DX

Bi hl OUH LON Lda aao

айа: аа E УД вуча ЭУ LAR

E bee, т deme. ugk Wegrur

FAVORITE PASTIMES: NY PE Y г E Wes тд
Ake EUBA PTG,
GREAT ESCAPES pang a башын 9 ees „о

IDEAL MAN: +“ Z Е УАУ Le)

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Would you like то help me raise my mast?"
the boozy male asked the unescorted girl at
the yachtclub bar.

"No, thanks" she replied icily. "I heard
about you from your ex, and she included a
small-craft warning."

The bedroom Каз lost its decorum.
With group sex, it's more like a forum.
It once was avowed
That three was a crowd,
But today it's not even a quorum.

During a lakeside picnic, а girl was horsing
around on a bed of pine ncedles when a par-
ticularly sharp one pierced her swimsuit and
embedded itself in her pubic area. She was
rushed to the nearest hospital, where the
emergency-room physician told her, “I'm sorry,
young lady, but I can't extract that needle un-
til I've checked with the Federal authorities.”

"But why, doctor?" whimpered the girl, un-
derstandably in considerable distress.

"Its a matter of ecology," replied the med-
ical man. “I have to file an environmental-
impact statement before I can remove any sort
of timber from a recreational area.”

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines sodomy as
stem to stern.

The embittered young thing told her roommate
that she had broken with her boyfriend over his
charge that she was a lousy lay. "It's ridicu-
lous!” she exclaimed. “After all, how bad
could 1 be in just fifteen seconds?"

Quite visibly upset, a Sister of Charity
slammed the door as she emerged from the con-
sulting room and then stormed out of the med-
ical suite, “What was that all about with the
nun?” the man who was the next patient asked
the physician.

“I informed her she was pregnant,” said the
doctor.

“She is?” gasped the patient.

"Not really—but can you think ol

way to cure a bad case of the hiccups?

a better

little boy, “what does the

"Never you mind, Timmy,” replied the man.
“Just unhook my bra.

When it became apparent that the all-Ameri-
Gaus teva Hes Sens I play, his coach
counseled, “Carl, when you feel the urge, take
a cold shower."

"ve tried that," responded the jock. “Not
only does it not work but it turns the girls
off when I screw them while my teeth are
chattering!”

lis rumored that massage-parlor girls may soon
be striking for better jerking conditions.

We've been told about a chap who wanted to
borrow $10,000 for а sex-change operation. As
collateral he offered to put up the family
jewels.

Three two-letter words that begin

With I are a source of chagrin:
There are guys who can cry—
Even wish they could die-

At that soul-searing phrase “Is it in?”

Unaware of her reputation, a new male derk
became smitten with the office roundheels and
sought the advice of an older female employee
оп an appropriate birthday present. "I'm at а
loss for ideas, Harvey,” responded the dis-
approving woman. “What does one give to a
girl who has everybody?”

Mae

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines sixty-nine as
a double-header.

When he discovered that the woman he had
pulled over on the deserted road for erratic
driving was not only under the influence but
also young and attractive, the lecherous police-
man smiled to himself. “I'll either have to give
miss,” he announced, “or

"Oh. no, off'cer.” the girl managed to pro-
test, “not ‘nother Breathalyzer 151"

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post-
card, please, io Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

“IPs no

good, Karen—when you say, “Eat, eat,’

€ of my mother."

dsm

tt remin

|
GE. | A

| © THE LONELINESS

OFTHE ү,
Д LONG-DISTANCE ` |
| EATER |

if you do it for a
living, exquisite

dining can really
take it out of you

article
By RUDOLPH CHELMINSKI

JEAN DIDIER sits at the
wheel of his bright-orange
Lancia, resting briefly,
composing mind and stom-
ach. It is noon Friday.

He is in Valence, a pleasant
town halfway between
Lyons and Avignon. To his
right are the immaculate
stucco walls and the big
oaken front door of Pic,
one of the greatest res-
taurants in the world. He
has really been eating
since Monday. Now, on the
fifth day, duty calls again,
but he isn’t hungry.

Didier is a professional
eater. A French profession-
al cater, to make matters
worse, The peculiar trade
he exercises takes him
several hundred times a
ycar into the temples of
gastronomy, the fabulous
dining places that most
ordinary mortals only
drcam about. For Didier,
they are the stuff of
routine, like middle-income
houses for door-to-door
salesmen. Not only does he
have the opportunity to
eat like a prince every day;
he is expected to. It is
his job to ingest the most
exquisite creations of the
best cooks on the face of
the earth. It is as if...
as if you were employed by
a harem of the most
beautiful and desirable
women you can imagine,
all of them lusting after 153

б
Men

PLAYBOY

you, all of them expecting some action
right now. You've got to perform; you've
got to get it up (the appetite, of course).
The image occurs to Didier when he has
been eating too much and has to start
eating again. Delicious torture.

He feels the numbing anguish of sati-
ety as he sits in his parked car. He has
already been spotted, he knows. The
Lancia. Spider isn’t exactly a discreet
car in the first place, and when it is
bright orange, the top restaurateurs in
France instinctively snap to attention,
because it means the Guide Kléber has
уса. Didicr is founder, cditor in chicf,
guiding genius and still the number-one
eater of the Kléber, the blood rival of
the famous old Guide Michelin. Both
are offspring of publicity-conscious tire
companies, but the Michelin had enjoyed
a virtual monopoly on the restaurant-
guide business in France since its first
publication in 1900, Then, in 1954,
Didier founded his company's guide and
has been steadily cating into (pardon)
the mighty Michelin's lead ever since.

Didier sighs, slides out from behind
the wheel, carefully locks up, squares his
shoulders and marches into the restau-
rant. Within seconds, there is some more
goddamn champagne.

It sounds ridiculous—it is ridiculous—
that a gourmet can become so jaded, so
surfeited by good things that he inwardly
winces at the appearance of a bottle of
fine champagne, but such are the dynam-
ics of Didier's life. He has been drinking
fine champagne, great Burgundies and
sublime digestifs since Monday morning.
Not to mention all the food that accom-
panied them. Now, as he walks into the
beautiful, flower-laden dining room, past
the respectfully smiling maitre d'hôtel
and the respectfully inclining waiters,
into the welcoming arms of Jacques and
Suzanne Pic—"Mais, quelle surprise,
Monsieur Didier, et quel plaisir" —his
athletic digestive tract is stalled, his ap-
petite extinguished. Pic makes a quick
imperious gesture, mutters a few words
sotto voce to Alex, his sommelier, and
within seconds, a bottle of Billecart-
Salmon has appeared on the corner table
by the picture window, nestling snugly
in a silver bucket, surrounded by a crack-
ling sea of tiny ice chips. A man of
impulse, Pic has chosen a rosé cham-
pagne, even though he knows full well
that most gourmets and food snobs dis-
dain all rosé wines. But he has confidence
in BillecarcSalmon's magic. Didier smiles
graciously, sips—it is chilly, dry, refresh-
ing, the color of an onion's outer skin—
and almost immediately falls to discuss-
ing with Monsieur Pic the composition of
his lunch menu. It is the professional
reflex of the eating trade. As the mo-
ments pass, as the delectable possibilities

184 flash past his mind's eye—a young guinea

hen, perhaps, or an orgy of truffes in a
flaky pastry shell, or 2 lobster, or maybe
a stuffed pigeon, or a saddle of lamb—
the champagne begins its subversive
work, tickling his guts, building the base
of yet another nascent euphoria, Didier
feels his stomach juices coursing aga
His appetite is coming to life. At length,
after much scholarly examination and
comparison, Monsieur Pic and he agree
on a menu that will offer him the chance
to judge a wide range of the specialties
that, naturally, Pic himself will prepare:

Fisherman's salad (lobster, scallops,
crayfish tails and green beans in a vine-
gary mayonnaise)

Feuilleté bohémienne (truffles and foie
n a flaky pastry shell, topped with
a Périgueux sauce)

Filet of sea bass with ca
champagne sauce

Artichoke hearts with baby asparagus
tips, accompanied by a light hollandaise
sauce

Saffroned veal sweetbreads on a bed of
fresh spinach

Cold breast of duckling cooked with
raspberry vinegar, served with fresh peas
and cucumber mousse

"Turbot with fresh morel mushrooms

Salmon filet with lecks

Fricassée of lamb with basil

Cheeses and desserts

Pic suggests that a small filet steak
might be indicated after the lamb, but
Didier doesn’t feel he needs any beef.
The menu seems good cnough as it is.
He takes a sip of champagne, nibbles on
a grilled almond and waits. He is fecl-
ing better. Luckily, that's the way it
usually happens with his meals.

Didier began his eating wip (he calls
it a tournée) at 6:30 Monday morning,
wheeling south out of Paris on the Aulo-
route du Sud, heading toward Lyons,
France's third-largest city and its tradi-
tional capital of gastronomy. He breaks
up his tournées by regions and subregions
of France, following a pre-established
calendar that by year’s end will have
taken him into virtually every corner of
the country. The point of each trip, and
each meal, is to double-check restaurants’
quality against the rating he has given
them in his guide: a crowned red rooster
(The Best Restaurants in France), a
crowned black rooster (Great Restau-
rants, Comfortable Surroundings), а
crowned stewpot (Great Restaurants,
Simpler Surroundings) and uncrowned
roosters or stewpots (Fine Restaurants).
If he finds them better, or worse, he will
change the symbol in the next edition.
Naturally, it is physically impossible for
one man to try all the restaurants of a
given area (he has regional correspond-
ents and inspectors for that), but Didier
feels duty-bound to visit the best ones
every year. This time he is striking at

r, with a

the center, the best of the best. As always,
his secret hope is to find a chef so seri-
ous, a meal so superb, that he can ma
another promotion to hts top category,
the coq rouge couronné, the Kléber's
equivalent of the Michelin's three stars.
The recital that follows is the story of a
professional eater's week of work.

DAY ONE

Cramped in his little car, his head just
barely clearing the roof, his eyes large
and liquid behind his oversized horn-
tims, Didier bears no resemblance what-
soever to the cartoon image of a full-time
trencherman. Tall at 6/1", he is also re-
markably trim, almost slender at 170
pounds. There is a certain vague similar-
ity to French president Valéry Giscard
d'Estaing. Didier is happy to attribute
his freedom from obesity to a nervous
character and a fast-acting digestive tract
sometimes aided by pills. Smoking a pack
of cigarettes a day also helps keep his
weight down, he admits. It is curious that
many French professional gourmets are
heavy smokers, in spite of the presumed
damage to their palates. They hold on
to cigarettes by a kind of desperate in-
stinct, for fear of ballooning without
them. Times have changed. The ter-
rorism of fashion spares no one: Even
career eaters want to appear svelte nowa-
days. But none ol the great French chefs,
and very few of the lesser ones, are
smokers.

“I like cooks," Didier says. “They arc
ans. They моз ‘ith their hearts.”
Didier enjoys talking and falls into long
and involved exposition of his reflec
tions, presented in didactic fashion.

“Cooks are not commercial people,”
he goes on. “They are respectable, They
are people with roots in the peasantry,
just like the food they prepare. Contrary
to what most people believe, French
cooking is for people with modest purses.
It is the cooking of shepherds and vine-
yard laborers. French cooking is simple.
Once it becomes a cuisine de spectacle, Y
am against it. It is а waste of money and
it is false.”

It is 11:45. Didier leaves the freeway
at the wine town of Macon and strikes off
southeast toward his first stop, the ham-
let of "Thoissey. For weeks, he has been
eating lightly in Paris. Now, as he ap-
proaches the restaurant called Le Chapon
Fin (crowned black rooster, two stars in
the Michelin), his gastric juices are flow-
ing in anticipation.

“It's decided, he says. "No over-
indulging. No drinking too much. Every
thing balanced. No mixing. This being
aid," he continues, “I really could use
Je drink right now
He means wine, naturally, which in

(continued on page 160)

PLAYBOY'S SPRING AND
FASHION FORECAST

everybody's pretty baby, brooke shields, joins us for a happy-go-lucky
look at what's new in warm-weather wearables

By DAVID PLATT
RESH AND FREE-SPIRITED: That's what the latest looks in menswear are all
Pas And that's what Brooke Shields, our 14-year-old leading lady pictured
on these pages, and also appearing onscreen in King of the Gypsies and Tilt,
is all about, too. (Imagine what she'll look like when (text concluded оп page 159)

Left and above: It’s up, up and away for
Brooke Shields and a brace of launch-time
balloonists who have on (far left) a vent-
less unconstructed silk/polyester jacket, by
Merignac, about $180, cotton slacks, by
Jupiter of Paris, $32, and buckskin ox-
fords, by Peeples, $68; and a two-button
ventless jacket, about $60, and slacks, about
$30, both by Joel Glazer for Neon Lights. 155

Below: Brooke's cone moy be going to the dog, but her well-dressed friends степ. The guy ot for left likes a shirt jocket, by Cortel Designer
Sportswear, $37; cotton slacks, by New York Sportswear Exchonge, $27.50; and cunvos sandols, by Peeples, $57. The chop at center
has on а cotton jacket, $70, and matching shorts, $22.50, both by David Shopiro for Ursel of Italy; plaid shirt, by John Henry, $20; and
satin bow tie, by Vicky Dovis, $8.50. The third man’s fashion theme is simple: 0 wrop jocket, by Gayle Kirkpatrick, $185; worn with jeons,
by New Man, $52; knit shirt, by Egon Von Furstenberg, about $50; and mesh oxfords, by Jean Pier Clemente for ltolio, obout $45.

ALL MEN'S SUNGLASSES BY FOSTER GRANT

Below: There are no wrong numbers here, just stendout styles including (left) o rayon/acetate
V-neck, $27, and cotton jears, $27, bath by T.K.G., worn with leather-trimmed espadrilles,
by R. Martegani for Foatgear, $60; and (right) a sleeveless cotton knit pullover with deep
V-neck ond drawstring waist, $16, and self-belted cotton slacks, $30, both by Catalina.
On his feet ore cotton canvas oxfords, by Jean Pier Clemente for Italia, about $45.

Below: Even vintage wheels can't curb Brooke's interest in these latest styles. The guy with those calfskin fisherman’s sandals, by Nancy Knox,
$65, resting on the bumper also is wearing a Dacron polyester/cctton wing-collar shirt, from Hennessey by Van Heusen, $16.50; raw-silk
slacks, by Harvest for Coriander, about $60; a raw-silk tie, by Vicky Davis, $10, that’s used as a belt, and another Vicky Davis tie, $8.50,
loosely knotted around his neck. His buddy alsa wings it in a vorioble-striped cotton wing-collor shirt, fram Country Roads by Creighton, about
$35; polished-cotton self-belted slacks, by Pierre Cardin Relox, $45; ond kidskin T-strap sandals, from Brass Boot Shoes by Nunn-Bush, $132.

Right: There's Brooke again, this time toasting
her companions’ taste in clothes with a Shir-
ley Temple cocktail at Harry’s Bar and Ameri-
can Grill in LA's Century City. The guys
wear (left) a moheir jacket (ako pictured
cbove) about $300, and chenille slacks,
about $100, both by Jhane Barnes; cotton
lisle pullover, by Pierre Cardin Relax, $23.50;
wool/silk tie, also by Jhane Barnes, about
$10; and sandals, by Peeples, $70; and (far
right) waol glen-plaid suit, by Jecn-Paul Ger-
main, $300; cotton shirt, by Ingram for Cari-
onder, about $40; knit tie, by Fumagalli for
Coriander, about $24; and calfskin oxfords,
by Jean Pier Clemente for Italia, about $45.

she's 18, guys.) But enough babbling
about Brooke. Men's fashions for

the next six months will be

and supple, with fluid lines replacing the
skintight styles of previous years, Narrow-
lapelled jackets, often unconstructed, will
be worn over bare skin or with a shirt
and tic. A number of jackets, in fact, will
be available with workable sleeve buttons
and even push-up pajama-ty,

pect shirt collars to continue becoming
more diminutive (as will ties) and appe
in a variety of styles from curved to wing.
Slacks will feature a narrower straight or
tapered leg. With all of these c

the works, it's good to know that colors
will stay soft and safe. All this adds up to
a half year or more of good-looking men’s
fashions that are going to be fun to wear.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI/ PRODUCED BY MARILYN GRABOWSKI

PLAYBOY

LONG-DISTANCE EATER (continued from page 154)

“They consumed the rest of their meal bare-ass (ex-
cept for the fine linen napkins on their thighs).”

fied as a food and a tonic
"| never drink alcohol—
only wine,” the French will say, and
then down two, three or four quarts a
day.

As the Lancia crunches over the gravel,
a white-coated waiter peers curiously out
through the glass door, then abruptly
disappears into the depths of the build-
ing.
We've been spotted," says Didier in
his deep bass voice. He reaches into the
pocket of his blazer and pops two Sulfar-
Jems, These tiny pills, hardly bigger than
matchheads, are one of the secret weap-
ons of the cating establishment. Acting
on the liver, they excite and advance
the flow of bile, as an aid to digestion.
Didier and his colleagues swallow Sulfar-
lems the way athletes guzzle Gatorade.
He locks up and strolls into the Chapon
Fin. He is feeling good, eager to start.
ier is met at the threshold by Pierre
Maringue, the sommelier and second in
authority in the restaurants chain of
command, who is smiling the quizzical,
halfapprehensive smile common to most
restaurateurs at the arrival (almost al-
ways unannounced) of the Kléber. Ma-
ringue regrets that his father-indaw and
boss, Paul Blanc, who founded the inn
back in 1932, is in Spain for a short vaca-
tion. But he knows where to find the
champagne. With a swift, practiced hand,
he twists the cork off a botde of Laurent
Perrier Crémant, and the wine an-
riounces itself with a polite, almost noise-
less exhalation of carbon dioxide. As if
on cue, Didier and Maringue fall into
Jeamed discourse about the quality of
Jast year's crop of Beaujolais. It is already
good, they conclude, and is quickly get-
ting better. For the ritual analysis of the
menu, Maringue sends a waiter to fetch
the chef, Gilbert Broyer. Broyer appears
in his white blouse, white apron and
white chef’s hat, refuses a glass of cham-
pagne (“I'm working") and immediately
begins ticking off what he considers most
recommendable that day. At length,
Didier and he agree on a plan of attack:
quenelles de brochet (a mousse of pike
with a creamy white wine sauce), frogs’
legs, a sophisticated “stew” of fresh-water
fish filets with vegetables, an assortment
‚ cheeses and desserts. Didier
plicity of the composition.
Tc is like a little country picnic.

“The reason for the frogs’ legs,” he

160 explains at the table, “is that the herbs

and garlic in the butter will cut the
richness of the sauce.”

He tastes his Beaujolais with the great
chewing, sucking and smacking of lips
characteristic of expert tastevins, then
instantly orders the waiter to put the
bottle (too warm) in a pitcher of ice
water. As for the meal, lesser palates
might consider it fabulous, but Didier
finds things to criticize: The pike's sauce
is too thick, too sticky and too salty:
evidently, it has reduced too much. He
imagines that Broyer became flustered
trembling”) but forgives him with
val of the big, luscious heap of
buttery frogs’ legs and the even better
stew of fish filets. When the trolley of
pales volls up to the table, he exiles the
potted hare and the foie gras out of
hand—too big and too rich. Instead, he
opts for small portions of preserved duck
and a goose liver terrine.

“Too much laurel! Too much thyme!”
he cries softly. “The herbs completely
dominate the meat taste. That's the third
error he's made.” Didier chews a bit
longer, sips some Beaujolais, chews again,
reflects, then says: “And there's too much
fat on the goose liver.

He sighs, makes a few quick jots in
his notebook. There will be no promo-
tion this year for the Chapon Fin. When
it is all over, when the cheeses and des-
serts have been consumed, Didier orders
a toothpick and calls the waiter over. It
is lecture time.

“Young man,” he says, “I thank you
very much for your help, but I permit
myself to make you a few observations.
First, you didn't ask me how I wanted
my salad seasoned. The vinaigrette was
good, but you could have asked me what
kind of vinegar I wanted. You could
have given me a choice of perhaps six
oils. Secondly, serving the coffee: Did I
want it short and concentrated or long
and weak? Did I want it from the es-
presso machine or did I want it in a
filter cup? I beg of you, young man—
always ask the clients such things. People
come to a beautiful restaurant like this
to spend money. You mustn't betray
them.”

The waiter smiles and nods,
chastised schoolboy. “Bon,” says
with a smile. “I feel in form.”
content to have del
criticisms. "Let's go taste the wine.”

While taking champagne with Ma-
ringue, Didier had met an old acquaint-

like a

He is
ered himself of his

ance from a newspaper in Lyons. He
and his colleagues have been delegated
to choose a barrel of Beaujolais, to be
bottled and used for the paper's promo-
tional campaigns. Didier and his friends
spend the rest of that afternoon in the
salon of wine merchant Georges Duboeuf
at the nearby town of Romanéche-
Thorins. In all, each man tastes 16 bot-
iles. After the wine tasting, there is a
modest feast: country sausages, ham,
pork chops and spareribs, cheeses and
country bread, apple pie and . . . more
Beaujolais. Didier is beginning to feel
the old familiar dread: too much good
stuff, too much good stuff.

At seven o'clock, he is in Vonnas,
home town of Chez li Mère Blanc
(crowned black rooster, where Gcorges
Blanc, nephew of the Chapon Fin’s own-
er, does his own cooking. Georges is
just 30, dark, intent, serious and ambi-
tious. He does not hide the fact that he
is shooting for the top ranking in both
the Kléber and the Michelin. He will
probably make it before long, for he
works hard and his restaurant is first-
rate. But his serious nature tends to
make him appear humorless, and other
chefs are constantly playing practical
jokes on young Georges, like throwing
a couple of old fish under his Alfa
Romeo's hood before a Jong trip or tor-
menting him with fake phone calls from
“police headquarters.” One of the most
spectacular recent stunts happened spon-
taneously, when a wicked friend of his
dared the two ladies with whom he was
supping in Chez la Mére Blanc's digni-
fied dining room to remove their clothes.
They did, with studied calm, and con-
sumed the rest of their meal 100 percent
bareass (except for the fine linen nap-
kins poised on their thighs) under the
goggle eycs of their neighboring gour-

mets.

б
little refreshment, — Monsieur
idier?" inquires Georges deferentially.
little champagne?”

o, thank you, Monsieur Blanc,”
Didier instantly replies, shuddering in-
wardly. "But if you could send a cold
bottle of mineral water up to my room?"
(La Mére Blanc, like many of the places
Didier visits, is ап auberge, meaning it
has rooms to let—a great advantage
over a mere restaurant, for it means only
a flight of steps before collapsing.)

At dinnertime, Georges is cager for
the Kléber to make the acq tance of
some of his latest crea he menu
he works out is considerably more com-
plex than the lunch at his uncle's place:
salad of water cress and duck liver with.
vinaigrette and truffle dressing; grilled
filet of salmon; a creamy-winy stew of

(continued on page 228)

| WAS а MILITARY-
INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

when uncle sam goes looking for a
defense contractor, he can be hell on wheels

article By ARTHUR T. HADLEY

OR 12 YEARS, an actress, a stage de-
E signer, a costume designer, a pub-

lisher and myself, a free-lance
writer, made up the A. T. Hadley Tank
Company, one of the major companies
building tanks їп the United States. We
were listed in the American Ordnance
Association's roster of tank-production
facilities—quite a feat for a seven-by-
eleven-foot office, five flights up, on West
53rd Street in New York. As company
president, J was invited to lecture on tank

PLAYBOY

production and design at the Detroit
"Tank Arsenal and the Air War College,
but we never agreed on a date. Known
proudly as Hadley Tank around the
Pentagon, we received an award for in-
dustrial efficiency from former Defense
Secretary Robert McNamara, though we
never manufactured a single item. Key
personnel held “Secret” clearances in or-
der to bid better on future tanks.

Believe me, all this happened by acci-
dent—happened because the five of us,
all self-employed, were having a hard
time getting credit cards. Yet the conse-
quences were as far-reaching as the

Wright brothers decision to see if their
invention would fly—or Henry Ford's
resolve to crank up the Lizzie.

Hadley Tank's beginnings were, in the

finest tradition of American industry,
modest. There was only me; and no
name. I was working for Newsweek in
the early Fifties, and a salesman from
General Motors suggested I visit his tank
plant. Ever mindful of Christmas bonuses
produced by scoops, particularly scoops
that helped sell advertising, I said,
Sure.” But getting into the tank plant
proved more difficult than the salesman
realized. Newsmen were suspect even
back then. So someone in G.M. arranged
for me to become a member of the Amer-
їсап Ordnance Association.

I signed the association's little pledge
card. Put in Newsweek where the card
called for company affiliation. Enclosed
a dollar. Put the dollar on my Newsweek
expense account. And settled back to
await the scoop that never came.

Every year the card from the American

Ordnance Association, known as the
АО. rived. Every year in hopes of
some as-yet-unrealized scoop, I paid my
dollar, listing my affiliation as Newsweek

or, later, the New York Herald Tribune.
‘Then, 1960, in one of those periodic
changes of management that swept the
old Herald Trib like meningitis through
a boy-scout camp, I left.

Being unemployed is a great American
experience I can do without. My ban
which previously had let me overdraw
with just a polite letter, now sent de
mands by telegraph and made threaten-
ing phone calls, (At least my bank called;
no one else did.) Creditcard companies
asked me to turn in my cards while they
reviewed my situation. Stores appeared
reluctant to take even my cash, The U.S.
Goyernment began devoting countless
man-hours to my income-tax returns. Ho-
tels, airlines, restaurants always lacked
space. Dogs growled as I passed. Ma Bell
saw fit to change my phone number three
times in one month.

While I was struggling to recoup my
fortunes by producing the great Amer-

162 ican novel on a new electric typewriter

that produced only Es, no matter what
character was struck, the annual card
from the A.O.A. arrived. Grateful for any
outside contact, I signed it as usual and
sent in my dollar. For company affilia-
tion, I wrote, “None.”
Two weeks later, the card came back
th a mimeographed note attached ask-
ing that I please fill it out correctly, and
the word None circled in red pencil. 1
erased the red circle and returned the
card. Back it came again, this time with
an unsigned typewritten note saying that
for membership to be retained, company
afhliation must be shown. Hones:

Hadley again put in “Мопс.
card came back, this time with an
tialed note that said, in effect, 5
and affiliate or get out.

Already numb from countless blows to
my ego since joining, perforce, the sell-
employed, I found this just too much. I
typed in A. T. Hadley Tank Company,
signed my name as president and re-
turned the card. Га finally done the
correct thing. Back came a two-page let-
ter from a General C. C. Utz in Detroit,
remarking that the American Ordnance

Association had long missed the presence

in its ranks of an organization of such
credit and renown as the A. Т. Hadley
Tank Company. With commendable
American hustle, the general suggested 1
might like to fork up the $1000 for cor-
porate membership, "so that selected top
management might be able to enjoy the
benefits of the association.” He
wanted to know the primary interests of
Hadley Tank.

My first reaction was fear. All I needed
at that vulnerable moment of my life was
an investigation into a bogus company.
But І felt as long as I told no lies and
took no money, I'd be OK. I thanked
the general for his letter, told him
we'd wait awhile on the $1000 and said
our primary interest was light t I

also

reasoned that five flights up in a recondi-
tioned brownstone with only 77 square
fect of floor space—and that pretty well
filled by typewriter table, desk and filing
yy tank was beyond our

cabinet—a hea
capabilities. Besides, the three-man eleva-
tor in the building was often out of
order. We were a light-tank organization,
and the lighter the better.

The next letter I got was from the
Pentagon. Someone in Detroit had been
speaking well of Hadley Tank. My con-
tributions to national defense and my
technical and managerial skills had
caused me to be placed on the Light
Tank Committee of the Department of
Defense and the American Ordnance As-
sociation. So honored, the Hadley Tank
Company began receiving invitations to
important conferences: a lecture on Ex-
ponential Feedback in Beta Series Servo-

Systems in Dallas, A seminar on Flux
Analysis in Trimetal Annealing in
Memph

Then, in the spring of 1962, the A.O.A.
published its roster of distinguished de-
fense companies. There! Under Tanks!
After Ford and Caterpillar Tractor, to be
sure, but ahead of General Motors and
Chrysler, was the A. T. Hadley Tank
Company. Oh, the pleasure of being of
service to one’s country in those carly
Kennedy years. A going concern just a
year, and already in the majors. І bought
a small toy tank and placed it on my
desk—had to carry it up the five flights of
steps, since the elevator was out of order.

That very afternoon, Hadley Tank re-
ceived its first phone call, long distance
from Chicago. A salesman from Cross
Instruments wanted to know if I'd con-
sidered automating my plant. I hadn't. I
was still having enough trouble with the
E on my typcwriter.

The historic explosion of Hadley Tank
from one-man shop to industrial giant of
four occurred Thanksgiving a year later.
I was having dinner in Amagansett, Long
Island, with three friends, all of whom
were in the theater. Although all were
successful, they complained that none of
them could get credit cards or bank loa
because they were self-employed and be-
cause of their profession,

“JE only I did something regular,"
aid Will Steven Armstrong, the stage
designer.

"'Belonged to a corporation," lamented
Patricia Zipprodt, the costume designer.

The proverbial light went on inside
my head. "I am a corporation." I said.
“I make tanks.”

Lacking my experience in the world
of corporate p
did not immediately leap on boa
after assurance that at Hadley Tank we
always told the truth and did nothing
that we could be ashamed of before Con-
gress—a policy I recommend to other
defense contractors—three vice-presiden
cies were cr
Powell, an actress, signed on
munications; Pat Zipprodt became V.P.
design: and Will Armstrong, V.P.
production. A tight ship.

Company president Hadley passed a
busy month answering calls and. filling
out forms from American Express, Din-
ers Club, Macy's, Lord & Taylor, Bonwit
Teller, the Chase Manhattan Bank and
others, guaranteeing the financial worth
and stability of his vice-presidents and,
incidentally, of himself. Showing the
camaraderic that continued to mark Had-
ley Tank's progress, the vice-presidents
generously took me to dinner on their
new credit cards. V.P. design produced
a sign for the company’s door. And V.P.
production made me a model tank to

(continued on page 246)

we're as patriotic as the next one, but there’s something special about these movie lovelies
from other lands that doesn’t need subtitles

FOREIGN SEX STARS

Whistle bait and Exhibit A in a gollery of foreign-bred beauties is Italy's ELEONORA VALLONE, a daughter of Raf.

Wouldn't you know thot
the daughter of Italy's
debonair Raf Vallone
had to look something

like this? In Rome, they
say che bella ragazza.
We echo a loud bravis-
sima for blonde Eleonora

Vallone. А voluptuously
budding actress, Eleo-
nora—last we heard—

wos plucking her guitar
and singing on Radia
Mante Carlo. On film,

she'll vamp Franca Nero.

pictorial essay By
BRUGE WILLIAMSO:

IN His verstrren Tribute lo
Marlene Dietrich, the late
Noel Coward wrote:

We know God made trees,

And the birds and the
bees,

And the seas for the fishes
to swim in.

We are also aware

That He has quite a flair

For creating exceptional
women.

The same impish lyric—
strewn with the names of his-
toric love goddesses, from Eve
to Helen of Troy—contains
Coward's wry observation
“that sex is a question of light-
ing.” Noel didn't really be-
lieve it He knew, as we all
know, that a lady needs more
than wattage to turn a man
on, and vice versa. The fa-
bled Marlene was merely a
pioncer, synthesizing the clu
sive appeal of those foreign
femmes fatales who have
reached across occans, conti-
nents and language barriers to
enliven our fantasies, mostly
in the movies.

While we may ogle our
homegrown American beau-
ties ad infinitum, eying the
girl next door need not curb
appreciation of exotic blooms
bred in such faraway places as
Indonesia, Israel, Italy, Fin-
land, France and Brazil. Some
are creatures so rare that we
seldom catch а glimpse of
them Statcside, yet they are
famous faces—and becoming
more so—on the internation-
al film scene, which means
we're likely to be seeing more
of them as time goes by. Most
hope to make movies in Amer-
ica, or with Americans, which
means they dream of Holly-
wood as a new land to
conquer, though they don't
necessarily want to live there.
Some of the foreign belles
photographed for rLavsoy are
Serious actresses, some are
flaming sexpots. Generally,
they're a lucky combination
of both. They have to be.
Whether female or male or of.
indeterminate gender, a star
without sex appeal is like a

Brazilian bombshell SONIA BRAGA, hailed
аз the Marilyn Monroe of South America,
treated North America to a tropical

storm in Dona Flor and Her Two Husbands.
А colleague calls Senhorita Braga’s

latest, Lady in the Bus, “the sexiest

film since Last Tango in Paris."

ке"

As Dona Flor, Sonia lays
the ghost of her late

lusty husband to find relief
from a dull second mar-
riage. In Bus (far right),
she finds amor on wheels.

A French friend describes CATHERINE SERRE as a
demoiselle “who stays close to all the good things in life—
money, men, love, sports, movies.” In One Two Two

(right, standing), she played a whore. In the upcoming
James Bond epic Moonraker, Catherine is cast as one

of the perfect Lovers assigned to repopulate the planet.

summer without sun. "There's
no such thing, by definition.
All present are quite obvious-
ly exceptional women.
б

Eleonora Vallone, whose
movie career is just beginning,
represents а пем, hopeful,
exceptionally — wellendowed
generation of Italian super-
women. It all comes naturally
to Eleonora. The 24-year-old
daughter of actor Raf Vallone,
a veteran Latin lover (last
seen as The Greek Tycoon's
lusty brother), and memorable
screen beauty Elena Varzi,
now retired, Eleonora was
married young. which often
inhibits а girl's carcer plans.
Separated from her doctor
husband since last year, she
has a four-year-old son and
divides her time between her
bambino and classes in paint-
ing, acting, voice and guitar.
Already to her credit are a

inorleague Mexican film
and a more promising adven-
ture epic, L'Aquila. Bifronte
(that’s The Eagle with Two
Faces, if you're wondering),
costarring Franco Nero and
Helmut Berger. It’s a story of
early Nazism in Germany, and
Eleonora hopes The Eagle
will get her off and winging.

Sonia Braga, whose Dona
Flor and Her Two Husbands
broke all records last year as
the most successful Brazilian
film ever made, was largely
responsible for putting Brazil-
ian movies on the map, even
in Brazil. Prior to Sonia's tri-
umph in Dona Flor, which
outgrossed Star Wars, Jaws
and The Exorcist down there,
her rambunctious country
men generally preferred flashy
American imports to flicks
filled with local color. They
now view La Braga as а na-
tional institution second only
to Carnival in Rio. After she
appeared onstage in Hair
Sonia starred in a prestigious
ТУ soap opera that made her
name a household word to
60,000,000 viewers. Since then,
she has done seven feature
films. Her most recent, Lady

SIRPA LANE, a warm-blooded émigrée from Finland, wants to
quit Paris far the U. S. and be done “with funny little movies

in which | take my clothes off.” In Roger Vodim’s Charlotte,
Sirpa fell prey to o necrophile. In the X-roted La Bête (left),
a hairy mon-beost ravishes her beauty and dies ecstatic.

Looking more Lolita thon Lollobrigida, Italy's nymphetish
prima donna LEONORA FANI wauld rather ploy corrupted
innacents than ingénues. She finds ample opportunities in such
pics os Bestiolitó and Pensione Pouro (left). Leonora favors
dork dramatic roles as girls gone blind, crazy or just queer.

167

Warren Beatty told her she looks like Julie Christie. Andy
Warhol loved her eyes, and Carlo Ponti signed her to an ex-
clusive contract. Thot's how moviedom beckons, and Italy’s
luscious DALILA DI LAZZARO wound up with her

name in lights, her body in sequins—as seen here,

beefcake beauty contestants in director

Just Jaeckin’s The Last Romantic Lover.

in the Bus (also directed by
boyish Bruno Barreto, of
Dona Flor), is another steam-
er, certain to firm up sultry
Sonia's reputation as the num-
ber-one sex symbol in South
America. She doesn’t mind a
bit. “Lady in the Bus is very
sexy," says Sonia, "about a

rgin who marries a very rich
macho Brazilian man. She's
violently deflowered and hates
her husband. So she begins to
ride the bus every afternoon,
to find strange men and have
a good time. She feels no
guilt.

Sonia herself was the com-
panion for a time to the pho
tographer Antonio Guerreiro,
whose exclusive pictures for
PLAYBOY show considerably
more of her than Brazilian au-
diences were allowed to see a
year or so ago. Dona Flor’s
nudest love scene were
trimmed in Rio, where rigid
censorship prohibited showing
pubic hair, for exampl
though the rules have been
loosening up since Braga took
over. “I loved Marilyn Mon-
roc and had great admiration
for her . . . the first sex symbol
to be a little detached,
Sonia, adding with emphasis,

In my county, the best way
of being а feminist nowadays
is to assert yourself in terms
of your own work. To be a
sex symbol, for a woman, is a
political position. ry ac
tress should get into maga
zines, so that the censors in
Brazil will become used to the
idea of nudity. It's important
to undress at this moment in
history.” Amen,

Born іп Java of Dutch In
donesian parents who cmi-
grated to. Holland when she
was a child, exotic Laura
Gemser is а dark, graceful
Eurasian beauty, fluent in six
languages and eminent—since
1975—in at least seven films
of the Black Emanuelle series.
The first, made in Italy,
earned so much money in

urope that it begot spin-offs
bearing such exploitable titles

manuelle Goes East, Sister

A major multimedia star at home in Israel, winsame
and gifted NITZA SHAUL may earn much wider
recagnitian in Little Man. They love it in Tel Aviv.
Opposite actor-director Zeev Revoh (left), she.

plays on army entertainer who impulsively gives
her all ta five soldiers, then discovers that

one of them is gaing to be a father.

170

Emanuelle (she takes the veil
but quickly sheds it) and
Emanuclle and the Last Can-
nibals. Although the movies
were not much aesthetically,
they enabled Laura to ask
for percentage deals and edge
her way up to small roles in
big films (as Orson Welles's
mistress in Voyage of the
Damned) or major roles in mi-
nor European films opposite,
for instance, Jack Palance
and Stuart Whitman. More
recently, she went to Japan to
do The Bushido Blade, a
historical adventure drama co-
starring Richard Boone, Sony
Chiba and Toshiro Mifune.
No fewer than 15 movies in
six years. Plus globetrotting
on a scale to equal Henry Kis-
singer in his peak seasons. "I
love to travel, and films take
you everywhere. We have been
to China, Australia, Bangkok,
Hong Kong, Egypt, South and
Central America, the Middle
East. Everywhere. . . .”

The "we" is characteristic,
Laura's acknowledgment of a
particularly close relationship.
with her husband, Gabricle
Tinti, a handsome, 4015 Ital-
jan actor whom she met on
location in Kenya. Tinti had
a promising fling in Holly-
wood back in the Sixties,
when director Robert Aldrich
hired him for The Flight of the
Phoenix and The Legend of
Lylah Clare (as gardener-lov-
er to Kim Novak). But he gave
up a five-year TV contract be-
cause he was homesick for
Rome.

“When I met Laura, I
thought: What is this skinny
little girl? Then she put on a
bikini at the beach and I see
she has everything in the right
place, So we started to stay
together, to make love. It
wasn't until we were flying
back over Idi Amin's Uganda
that we realized we'd have to
say goodbye, and we didn't
want to

Laura smiles. “I went back
to my boyfriend Id been
living with for five years in
Belgium. But it was over, any-
way, (continued on page 242)

Whether it's Black Emanuelle Goes
East, Black Emanuelle in America,
Bangkok or Around the World,
Laura travels as light as possible;
she's generally supplied with
costumes she can shed at а wink.

чац

Globe-trotting LAURA GEMSER throws
dangerous curves os Black Emanuelle, erotic
adventures of a profitable odyssey with lots
and lots of sequels. Despite her aura

of dark Eurasian mystery, she is a shy,
happily married sex symbol, ready to.

move up to far better roles.

Опе of her Far Eastern sexual
forays takes Black Emanuelle to
a threesome in Bangkok. Laura
prefers the work she's done
with Orson Welles, Stuart Whit-
man and Jack Palance.

PLAYBOY

172

“Greetings, Earthmen! We're emissaries from
a fifth-rate civilization.”

yoegurt or yoeghurt\yo-gert\n.
[Turk. yogurt] For thousands of
years, this custardy concoction,
derived from a variety user;
milks, has been eaten el by
believers in the hope, and often
expectation, of enhanced vitality,
sensuality, allure, amour and
sexual performance.
Today, yogurt
has shed its recent trendy image
and joined the gastronomic main-
stream. During 1978, Americans
packed away about one billion
cups of the tangy stuff—or =
close to 3,000,000 cups every

day! About half the population 1s
addicted to yogurt in some form:
plain; flavored with vanilla, lemon,
coffee, elc.; as a ѕзипдае 0

Ec LADY
LAST

= SS

у; ЖЫЙЫР ie ae eyes away
M. that divine Wo meu

"
É

T
*

"вуг PHILIP

m
was in the presence of heavenly Forces, but when
he finally reached the beach, there was no sign
of the Virgin. The moon had rolled back behind

cither side of him and a wind that made his
eyes tear because it no longer carried the voices

of angels.

Despite the cnormous damage to his Ме
he saw the event as а benediction, 3
his wi
equal time to th

vindica

PLAYBOY

178

“Let's do it in the road and scare the horses."

а trae account of a swearing doctors marriage

by Tom Brown, London, 1693

London, August 18, 1693
Letter to a gentleman i

ie
The only news I have to commun
is that the never-to-be-forgotten Dr, Oates*
was married at begi
week. You know that he always expressed
an aversion to the fair sex and had found
a back door to express his kindness clse-
where. Perhaps, then, this was that rev-
olution the almanacs threatened us with
in the month of August.

No sooner was this pious resolution
communicated io his friends but they
looked out sharp to find him a proper
yokelellow. It was represented to him
that a maidenhead was not to be got
without much drudging for't and, be-
sides, the doctor being fat and pursy and
it being the dog days, he might receive
great damage from a violent encounter.

At last, he was introduced. to Mrs.
Margaret W — —— , the widow of a Mug-
ап of Breadstreet and, at the first
interview, he was so much struck with
the gravity and goodness of her person
that he could neither eat (which was usu-
ally much) nor drink (which was usually
more) till the business was concluded.

The doctor, then procecding to the
Commons for a license, was asked two
scurvy questions by the clerk: whether he
would have a license to marry а girl or
boy and whether he would have a license
for behind or before. At this, the doctor
lost all patience, held up his cane and
thundered out, “You rascal!” until the
proctor made peace aj

The articles of marriage were as fol-
lows: Imprimis, the doctor promises to
keep ne'er a male servant under 60 in the
house, to hang a picture of the destruc-
n of Sodom in his bedchamber and to
teach his children to swear as soon as
they can speak.

Item, the doctor promises that he will
never attack, either on the bed, joint
stool or table, the body of the aforesaid
Mrs. Margaret W — — — а parte post, by
entrance, but to relicye her
s a parle ante; and in case he
should offend in th upon sec-
ond trespass she s ave to burn
his peacemaker.

“Titus Oates was the fabricator of
“The Popish Plot" in 1678. He made a
deposition in court that the Jesuils were
plotting to murder King Charles I, to
place James Stuart on the throne and to
suppress Protestantism. Oates's accusa-
tions, though false, resulted in the execu-
поп of many Catholics. Oates was
pensioned by King William as a reward.

This “letter” was published as a
pamphlet and Tom Brown was promptly
arrested for libel.

Ribald Classic

However, with this proviso: When she
is under the dominion of the moon, the
alorementioned doctor shall have full
power and liberty to enter her by which

door he pleases. This last clause was
obtained after a dispute on the doctor's
part and a threat to break off proceedings.

But now to the main business at hand,
the marriage. On the 17th of August, the
doctor was new washed and trimmed,
with a large sacerdotal rose in his hat
id all his other clergy equipage upon
im, came to the house of an Anabaptist
teacher in the city where, in the face of

humerous assembly consisting of all the
subdivisions of Protestants, lie was mar-
ried to Mrs. Margaret W — – — . The
doctor was observed to be very merry at
the dinner and the largest part of his

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND

face, meaning his chin, moved notably
up and down.

Thus the time was agreeably spent
until ten, at which time a bell rung to
prayers, and afterward (his spouse, after
the laudable custom of England, having
gone before), the doctor resolutely
marched toward the place of his execu-
tion. There was no sack poset nor
throwing of stockings, both these cere-
monies being judged to be superstitious
and things of mere human invention.

The bed soon thereafter took on a
trembling fit for the most part of thc
night. I suppose it was this that oc-
casioned the widespread reports of an
earthquake suffered by all of the near
neighbors on that unbloody night.

Your most obedient servant, etc.
Т.В.

179

МИТ;

€ are proud of the birthdates of our children,
the grapes of Almadén.

On our classic varietal wines, you will
find a vintage date. A date that means th
wine in the bottle comes from a particular
year’s harvest.

For us, it is a source of much prid

a new child. A child we lovingl
matures and develops.

For vou, the vintage date adds ye
dimension to the enjoyment of our ¢

A Aiace, pron
Of San Benno.

VINTAGE 197 у
mODUCED AND NOTTLAD BY
shen Vineyards. San duse, С
coL trae hy volur

ОТУЗ

subtle differences that are uniquely its own.
Differences vou may taste and enjoy.

Also, while all our wines are ready to
drink when purchased, you may ei
а few bottles aside. Here vou will find the
vintage date invaluable in giving the wine the

Iditional aging you desire.

зу setting

On our classic varietal wines, vou will
also find the birthplace of our children. For
xample, Monterey County on our Cabernet
Sauvignon. Ànd San Benito County on our

Pinot Chardonnay. Each variety of grape has
its own special needs. And so we take great
care in finding the best possible home for cach.
of our children, the grapes of Almadén.

А home that provides ideal conditions for
them to grow and ripen to perfection.

We invite you to enjoy the incomparable
quality of these fine vintage-dated varietal
wines. And you will find this same dedica-
tion to quality in our entire family of
Almadén wines.

20 QUESTIONS: DAN RATHER

the co-star of

“60 minutes” describes the hardships

of being а crack newsman—and the unexpected joys of being a tu sex object

ancy Collins, a reporter for The

Washington Post, caught the peripa-
tetic Dan Rather when he touched base
at CBS headquarters in New York. Actu-
ally, it's a good thing we sent her to
interview a fellow journalist: When nei-
ther of the tape recorders Collins was
carrying proved functional, Rather gladly
lent her his.

ih
PLAYROY: What advice would you
a young person who wanted to go into
broadcast journalism?
RATHER: Don't! Forget it. It's too crowded
Even if through some miracle you were
able to get a break in the business, the
pay is lov, the hours are long, there are a
lot of headaches—and ivil ruin your
personal life.

2
PLAYBOY: But come on, Dan, be honest.
What about the glory, the recognition?
RATHER: There's damn little. Oh, of
course, for those who make it to the top
in this business, there's probably too
much glory. But even if you want glory
and think that television is the place to
get it, then you're still wrong, because
glory comes faster and easier in any one
of a dozen other professions than it docs
in this one. The reality for most people
in this business is standing in the rain
outside the police station for $115 a week.

3
PLAYBOY: What do you have that other
TV personalities/reporters don't?
RATHER: A lot of luck. Listen, there are
ny number of people out there—pride
won't let me say very many people—who
are better than I am on a story. I try to
get the best out of myself, but in televi-
sion terms, there are at least 15 people
lı CBS who arc as good

PLAYBOY: Under what circumstances
would you kill a. juicy, sexy story if it
concerned the private life of a Govern-
ment official?
RATHER: If in my judgment it affected
his performance as a public official or
necded to be taken into account when
judging his performance as a public
official, then Га report it. If in my
dgment it didn't, then I wouldn't be
terested.

5.
PLAYBOY: But don't you think that the
way a person handles his private life is
an indication of how he might handle
his professional decisions?

PHOTOGRAPHY ВҮ LARRY WILLIAMS

RATHER: It can tell you something, but
not always. And there is a point beyond
which reporting on someone's personal
life is unfair and none of our damn busi-
ness. Take drinking, for example. If a
Senator is consistently drunk on the floor.
of the Senate, then it's obviously a story
and shouldn't be concealed. That's ger-
mane to his performance. But if he's off
at Cape Cod for two weeks and he's at a
party and gets really bombed, I wouldn't
report that.

6.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever smoked mari-
juana?
RATHER: I prefer not to answer that one.
7.

PLAYROY: Have you ever snorted cocaine?
RATHER: I prefer not to answer that, 100.
If I were going to do it, I would not do
it in violation of the law. Let's just say
1 would not do it in this country under
any circumstances. This may sound corny,
but I find myself thinking more about my
kids when it comes to things like mari-
j d cocaine. In addition to every-
I'm a father and I feel pretty
strongly about that. Part of my role as a
father is to set an example.
8.

PLAYBOY: What's your idea of a good
time?
RATHER: Thats easy: being with Jean
Rather on Bill Johnston's boat in the
ае of Lake Tr: Texas—with a
little Willie Nelson playing on the sterco
in the background.

9.
AYBOY: What other kinds of music do
you listen to?
RATHER: I like Hank Williams
Haydn.

and

10.
AYBOY: What's better than sex?
RATHER: Nothing. No, let me amend
that. Honor is better than sex.
п.
What's the hardest thing you

PLAYBOY:
ever done?
RATHER: Making my marriage work. That
requires more concentration and more of
one’s self than anything I know. The
hardest thing I’ve ever done professional-
ly is cover the Kennedy
while the hardest physical thing
get myself certified for diving, because 1
am not a good strong natural swimmer:
One of the hardest things I've done in
terms of deciding what was best was
whether or not to leave CBS in 1974.

12.

: What cracks you up?
RATHER: Say Gerald Ford is at an all-
star baseball game and it's between in-
nings, so he's being interviewed. I'm
thinking, Hey, great idea for Ford to be
at the game if he wants to keep himself
in line for things. He looks good. Нез
got a good tan, He's even got on the
right tie. And then the interviewer say
"You know a few things about basc-
ball, Mr. President. , . ." And Ford says,
“Oh 5. I watch а lot of baseball on
radio." Now, that cracks me up. I love

13.
PLAYBOY: Do you have any heroes?
RATHER: Yes. Eric Sevareid, Charles Col-
ngwood, Walter Cronkite and Hugh
ingham, a teacher of mine. But
without being preachy about it, let me
tell you who I really like. I love the guy
who goes to work every morning, comes
home every night, brings his pay check in
every week, breaks his ass for his kids
nd ends up dead at 57. And out of my
high school class of roughly 400, at least
200 of them are like that.

M.
PLAYBOY: What do you think of Roonc
Arledge?
RATHER: What I see, I like. Before he
started the new ABC evening news, there
was a lot of loose chatter that he was
going to cheapen it. Well, one of the hrst
put Frank Reynolds
nk Reynolds is a class opera-
tor. I wish we ] him. And thus far,
Га have to say that Arledge himself has
been a class operator

15.
PLAYBOY: What do you think of Fred
lverman?
RATHER; I know Silverman, 1
was at CBS. And Silverman is an
lute, demonstrated. class operator. The
picture of Freddie Silverman as the
Attila of the television business was never
true and I think he's now in the process
of proving that at NBC. After all, he's
running the whole show. God knows.
the television business is filled with its
share of charlatans, cheap-shot artists
xd people interested only in selling
but it also has a lot of very smart, high
principled people, and Silverman is one
of them. I just hope he doesn't beat our
head

cause he
bso-

16.
OY: Most people think the men on
ion news (concluded on pag

WORKING THE STREET

PLAYBOY

homosexuality are common vices. When
they also happen to be against the law,
they are called vice crimes.

In ancient times, when the basis of

ation was mostly agricultural, the
control of vice was almost entirely a fam-
ily matter. Prostitution was not merely
legal but also frequently a religious call-
ing. Among the Semitic peoples, for ex-
mple, the worship of Ishtar, Astarte,
Mylitta, Baal, Moloch and other gods in-
volved sexual union with temple pros
titutes, not as a private pleasure but as a
means of attaining intimacy with the god-
dess herself, The money paid was not a
fee for services but an offering to support
the work of the temple, which was vital
to all fertility.
The Hebrews condemned prostitution
nd homosexuality because they were
foreign forms of worship. In a religious
state, this was a crime equivalent to
treason. With the spread of Christian-
ity, prostitution was suppressed from time
sin but usually tolerated
ed. At the end of the 15th
Century, an outbreak of syphilis killed
а third of Europe's population in ten
years. Prostitution was made illegal as а
health measure, but this failed to control
the epidemic. By the end of the 17th
entury, sanitary regulation replaced
suppression. During the 1720s, the Paris
police began confining prostitutes to li-
censed houses, which were eventually
supervised by special morals police. This
system soon adopted throughout
Europe.

Official regulation of prostitution never
became publie policy in the United
States, though many cities did have
red-light districts that were unofficially
tolerated and regulated by the police.
Victor ality began with the factory
system Hy a pragmatic
economic propaganda campaign designed
to produce reliable workers, obedient and
productive. Fueled by crackpot scientific
theories about the need to conserve sex-
ual cnergy, it became the prevailing force

ng indust
In the early years of the 20th Century
ass communications systems made it
possible to saturate whole populations
with these ideas. Wilhelm Reich has de-
scribed these strategies in The Mass
Psychology of Fascism. Sexual energy be-
longed to the е, not the individual.
Persona] expression had to be subordi-
nated to the will of the community. As-
184 semblyine technology required stricter

(continued from page 135)

“Tf police in general have a bad press in the United
States, the vice squad has the worst of all.”

and stricter standards of reliability and
cleanliness. Sanitation became an impor-
tant political issue. Sex was too messy.
The red-light districts were closed down
in the United States. Sex, in effect, Бе
came illegal. It did not go away, however
it went underground. The function of
the vice police is to make sure it stays
there: The blemish must not show.

Despite the relaxation of sexual repres-
sion during recent years, virtually every
police force in the United States has vice
officers. The area is sensitive and secret
and usually comes to public attention
only when there is а scandal. Significant-
ly, one important book on the subject,
Vice Squad, by Robert Hunter Williams,
is cataloged under the he:
Corruption—United States.” It is
Шу impossible to find a good word а
vice police in the media. Prosti
drug abuse, gambling, pornography and
most illegal sex cts between (or
ong, since there may be more than
two persons involved) consenting
© considered victimless crimes
lice activity concerning them a waste of
time. Most people in the communications
business would almost certainly agree
with Roger Gentry, who, when editor of
the freewheeling Los Angeles Free Press,
said, “Maybe there are some good vice
cops, but most of them are rotten.” If
police in general have a bad press in the
United States these days, the vice squad
has the worst press of all. The prevailing
image is 954, with overtones of Serpico.

Recently retired Los Angeles vice сор
Rawleigh Fusilier was head of the Wil-
shire District unit and worked vice for
17 years. He’s now an attorney, with an
office in Hollywood, practicing mostly
criminal law, defending, among others,
the very people he used to bust—dope
dealers, pimps, prostitutes, bookmakers.
Here's a little of how it went when I
talked with him:

What kind of person becomes a vice

very square and
who very quickly beco
square and innocent.

What is the work like

"Mostly a lot of fun. Theres always
action. It’s so easy to make busts that you
never have to work hard, ГА make my
two busts a day and spend the rest of my
time socializing if 1 felt like it. There's
prostitutes everywhere. I can take you
downstairs and show you some right on
this street corner.

1nocent
ies less

"What about the case up in San Fran-
cisco where two vice cops were suspended
for beating a prostitute?

“It sounds highly unlikely to me. You
usually have the best of relationships
h them, very pleasant. Lots of guys
date the girls. They'd wait outside the

jail when a girl they liked was coming
out after doing 30 days and they'd take

her home. She'd be cle you know.
You'd know that because she'd been in
for 30 days. It’s good for them to go
in. Gives 'em a chance to rest and get
dean. And real hot, too. You know, they
had no action for a month. Don't forget,
they're still chick:

Is there any corruption in Los Angeles?

“There is corruption everywhere.
a square can have rounded corners. 1
never took anything myself. Maybe some
liquor at Christmas. I was making a good
buck. І don't spend a lot. What do I
üt to blow a job like that, 522,000 а
year, plus a pension? Here, look at this.
This is my pension check. It came today
1. Every month. But you know,
you bust some bookie and he offers you а
thousand bucks to take а walk. . . . Like
aid, even a square сап have rounded
corner

Why do we need a vice squad?

“Just to keep a lid on it, to keep it
orderly. They'll do it everywhere if you
don't keep ‘em in line. It's bad for the
ids to see that. They say, ‘Mommy,
what's that lady d. It's embarrass-
ing.

What's wrong with that?

“I don't know, really. It just seems
wrong. But maybe it isn't. Who knows?

Aside from that, what is the politi
function of the vice sqi

“To protect the administration. You're
never going to stop graft, but at least this
way you know where it's going, who it's
going to. You know what's going on.
There are no secrets. I could tell you
things—who's using cocaine, for instance.
You would be surprised, your mouth
would fall open, if I told you. In the
government, And you watch ТУ... you
sce somcone who's happening. some s
who's happening big, almost always, he’
on cocaine. Hey, we get everyone. We
get the biggest stars, the biggest polit
ns. We get priests. I nabbed one of the
biggest rabbis in Los Angeles. I let him
go. But we get everyone.”

And once you've got them?

“We've got them.

also talked with William Margold,
who writes for the Hollywood Press, а
sex tabloid, and has written, directed and
starred in many porno films. Margold was
busted for appearing in a hard-core film
alled Sexual Ecstasy of the Macumba, 81
counts of conspiracy to commit oral cop-
ulation and prostitution with overt acts 1
(continued on page 256)

V
| li
| |

Pin-striped separates available soon at fine stores everywhere

Of course,
its Angels Flight™
You know you look
good in their super
fitting separates.
They have that up
and coming look,
yet are at down
to earth prices.
Very impressive.
So let 'em stare.
But be prepared,
for anything,
when you're in—

JT/LED BY TOBIAS

Leading the way
in fashion.

186

SCHULZE

FIEDORLYZK.

ACTING
OUT

what if you were told
you could turn your
wildest sexual fantasy
into a movie? well,
heres how some people
rose to the challenge

By D. KEITH MANO

AMERA IN CLOSE. A buttock. Male. Naked. What have
we here? Waiters, nude from navel down, serving at
an elegant féte champêtre. “My fantasy is . . . the
women are all cating salad and they usc—uh

tain kind of salad dressing. Can I say this? Well, they use fresh

semen as their salad dressing. They have to dispense it them-
selves from the waiters.” Clap! Fantasy number 15. The Great

Lettuce Scene, Camera, action. Cut! Cut! The narrator c:

pl : Unfortunately, “Don Farrar from Omaha .. .

found it too difficult to contain his excitement until the proper

course and prematurely seasoned the ladies’ soup.” I'll never
pour roquefort over my endiv
YOU AND YOUR FANTASY ON FILM
You are invited to participate as an on-screen in
one of the most revolutionary films ever to be shown. This
new motion picture will be about the sexual fantasies of
everyday people and will star the very people whose
fantasies are chosen,

"That ad yanked in about
1000 responses from bash-
ful Amcerica-out-there. And.
not just from New York or
Los Angeles, cities that
moon you at the airport.
Omaha, Seattle, Akron.
Akron. In Akron, 1 thought,
they got their sex out of
a Spencer Gifts catalog,
U.P.S. prepaid, along with
the nudie soap cake and
the how-dry-Lam bourbon
рошег. Carl Gurevich and
Ralph Rosenblum, who co-
directed Acting Out, had to
interview around 600 fantasts—in person and
by long distance in what became, naturally,
some rather obscene phone calling. “The
thing that killed me," Gurevich says, ^was that

cer-

ins, voice-over

rain.

orate fantasy. As seen below,

KAZMEYER

Robert Kazmeyer, a businessman from New Jersey, proposed the most elab-
begins during a church wedding, with the
bride starkers under her thin gown. Later come a chase, rape ond death.

For her film debut in Acting Out, Milwaukee nurse Barbara Fiedorlyzk (above right) turns the tables
on boyfriend James Schulze. Barbara, as the dominant partner, doffs her cap and starts to operate.

they'd resist for maybe 15 seconds, then it would come out. ‘I
wanna screw five women at once—and at the moment of or-
gasm, see, we're covered with a giant banana malted.’ Or what-
сусг. You name it I'm not all overcome with surprise. Today
you meet someone first time at a cocktail party, and right away
he tells you he’s been having it off with the grandparents and
two Dobermans. There is just one taboo left, Never ask what
they're earning. You'll get a wet dry martini in the blazer vest
pocket. That sort of question is impertinent, even lewd.
Gurevich and Rosenblum inspire confidence; confidences.
They're professional, serious. Five minutes and Fd tell them
my best mattress dream, if it hadn't already been optioned by
Cement and Tile Grout Digest. Rosenblum, who is film editor
for a certain W. Allen, won the British Academy Award with
Annie Hall. He is bearded, gentle, understanding; someone
га
Gur

end to talk a manic depressive off the Brooklyn Bridge.
vich is all T-shirt: amusing, bluff, the sort of man you
might associate with back-
hoes and asphalt. An ex-
football player, just slightly
stomach-important, as if
he'd been in set position,
waiting for the center snap,
since 1953, About five years
ago, he worked on Foreplay
with Zero Mostel and Pat
Paulsen. It was а whimsi-

al sex flick: m
Gurevich thought to inte
cut starker, unrehearsed ac-
tion. "I got the idea on
Thursday and did it on
Monday. We waited ouside
a movie theater and asked
people if they'd like to act
out their sexual fantasies
on film. We filled a couple
of limousines in an hour,

For contr

This clay footage
didn't mesh with Fore-
play, but the idea for
Acting Out had been
stuck like a pimien-
to in Gurevich’s con-
sciousness,

Consider it: 600
middle-American se:
fantasy — interviews—
most of them boring a
ssh VANDERBILT

Gurevich says, “We tied to keep the
certified crazies out. There was one man
who wanted to be a butterfly and land on
а flower-woman or something. Anyhow,
golllamé pollen was supposed to float
down when they came.

Rosenblum reminds him, “Don’t for-
get the karate champ. He kept yelling
"Hai! Aaaarg! Yecgahhh" and talking
about long spcars and knives and disem-
bowelment. For some reason, we didn't
usc him.

Prelim interview sessions were filmed
in the same small room. First Gurevich
and Rosenblum would snap off a Ро:
laroid. (It’s tough to tell your fantasts
apart, especially when 500 or so are
about as memorable as the Rutherford В.
Hayes Administration.) Then each inter-
viewce signed a “pretty heavy” release. T
bet; probably it gave G & R perpetual
rights to his subconscious. Gurevich got
cunning after a while; He always had one
woman present. It bal-
anced their ticket, had
a laxative effect on the
psyche. These inter-
views, many of which
are preserved in Act-
ing Out, will fascinate
you. Face is at an an-
gle. Eyes cut the cam-
cra dead: they flick up,
around; maybe imagi-
nation is on a cue
card someplace. Then сох
freakish things happen in the larynx. It
will purse up, get gumball-hard. Voices
drop, become husky. slow, in a kind of
Mercedes McCambridge possession: This
is not alking. Now they look out at us,
The sly, scheming hidden self has begun
to speak. It's ecrie.

“There were three men for every wom-
an.” Gi ich estimated. “Fantasy is
more important for men. They need it to
perform. The most common male fan-
tasy was group sex—it got tedious. You
know, making it with a white, a black and
an in-between. (continued on page 218)

Her husband came up with the fantasy and
Andrea Cox of Michigan acted it out. Hubby
chose a gangbang theme, but Andreo picked
the gang, a film version af the New York Jets,

Vanessa Vanderbilt answered an ad in a New Yark City newspaper looking for people who
wanted their sexual fantasies ta came true. She tald film makers Gurevich and Rosenblum that
unusual sex turned her on, sa a wild party with an assortment of bodies was arranged.

PLAYBOY

LADY CHASTITY (continued from page 177)

“As he ran toward her, her robe billowed out and for
amoment it almost looked as if she were naked.”

God's way of saying thank you, Brother
Bearle, thank you for understanding that
the future of America depends upon the
untainted and unsoiled purity of her
women.”

In the studio
burned bel
to the young man
promising of his
right, Brother Bi
Amen!" Billie said.

“Amen, Billie!” Brother Bearle re-
plied, as he did every night at exactly
12:30, signing off.

only by a single candle
d the mike, he turned
beside him, the most.
deacons. "Isn't that

“We've got to be careful with this,”
Billie warned on the drive out to the
Bible School several days later. But
Brother Bearle was only half listening.
He was thinking about how smooth the
new Rolls felt in his hands. The Love Of-
ferings had been so substantial since his
vision that he had interpreted them as a
sign that God did not want him to repair
the Mercedes, that he was being pro-
gramed for a grander, more prosperous
futu

"What are you drivin
Billie?”

I mean, what if it was a mirage or a

at, Brother

ho:

Hogpie!" Brother Bearle fumed, re-
sorting, as he often did when he was
angry, to the slang of the Tennessce hill
where he had had his first ministry. "I
know what I seen. And what I seen was
of dee-vine origin." He turned into the
driveway of the Bible School, a converted.
Victorian hotel with balconies and tur-
rets that faced out onto the ocean, and
brought the car to rest in front of the
pillared veranda.

Standing next to the bright gleam of
the Rolls, Billie looked more anemic than
usual, his thin tie fluttering in the wind
between the lapels of gray polyester, his
Adam's apple unnaturally large and
pointed, almost a replica of his nose.
Brother Bcarle, by contrast, had a ruddy
complexion and, though slightly over-
weight, had never felt beter in his life.
He took the steps two a time and
reached the top just as Sister Sharon
glided through the screen door. Seeing
her in her navy pants suit, her hair cut
close around a face as wholesome as the
morning itself, he found pleasure in the
certainty that he couldn't have chosen а
beuer spiritual mother for
You're looking mighty fine this morn-
ing, Sister Sharon."

А blush tipped cach of Sister SI

our Fridaymorning inspections, Brother
Bearle. And I do want to hear of your
experience firsthand.

‘Of course! ОГ courscl" he said, lead-
ing her through the lobby with its stiff,
high-backed Queen Anne chairs and
hardwood floors, up the wide center stair-
case to the second floor, where the vir-
gincttes were housed, two per room.
‘They began at the north end of the cor-
ridor, Sister Sharon preceding him into
each room, the virginettes standing at the
foot of their beds, not exactly at atten
tion but straight and earnest in their
tartan skirts and white blouses. He liked
a clean-smelling room, untainted by

odors of cosmetics or flesh, a room as
fresh as the sea breeze itself: he liked to
see

ach article in its proper place, beds
crisply made, with spreads creased sharp-
ly beneath the pillows, the Bible promi-
nently displayed on the nightstand
between the beds. After the rooms, Sister
Sharon led him into the communal lava-
tory at the end of the corridor. Here he

1 mining each
stall for graffiti, wisps of pubic hair, un-
flushed tampon wrappings; he sniffed for
the slightest trace of feminine odor,
peered into each of the three shower
stalls for any evidence of deodorant soaps
or body oils.

Afterward, he stood behind the lectern
in the makeshift chapel on the first floor
while the virginettes filed briskly to their
assigned seats. Through the enormous
French windows that he hoped eventually
to redo in stained glass with the help of
future Love Offerings, he gazed out past
the broad marble-tiled terrace to the
Skytower of Prayer now in the final stages
of construction. Set on а concrete jetty,
it rose 200 feet above the ocean to a
circular Church in the Sky. The base of
the tower was composed of arched steel
plated with disks of mirrored glass to
reflect the sun's light. From the roof of
the elevated church, a thin spire of blue
and yellow chrome lifted another 50 feet
into the heayens. The dedication of the
tower was scheduled to coincide with
the commencement exercises for the Bible
School's first graduating class, now only
two weeks away, and the anticipation of
the dual event, together with the vision
on the beach, filled Brother Bearle with
such excitement that he could find no
words to begin his sermon.

In the bright light of the windows, his
brown hairpiece looked a shade or two
darker than his natural hair and as һе
leaned forward, his face appe: all
and cramped atop the series of jowls that

receded into his neck. “How can I tell
you," he began in his deepest radio voice,
"how can I tell you how beautiful she
was—pale and ethereal, as pure as wind

or clouds, raising her arms toward our
true home in the heavens.
He stared out at the pale, innocent

faces before him, his hope for the future,
drawing in the subtle scent of Ivory soap
and freshly starched blouses. “Oh, 1 know
there are skeptics out there, cynics who
will say the man is deluded, off his rock.
er; but I say to those doubting Thomases
who require proof before they will be-
lieve, I say to them that the Lord’s proof
isin the heart, not in the hand.”
P

Inwardly, however, Brother Bearle was
not quite so confident. He knew he could.
not afford to undcrestimate the cynicism
of the modern world; so, with a camera
strapped around his neck and a flashlight
in hand, he patrolled the beach nightly,
murmuring prayers for a second у

On the seventh night of his у
wind off the wa
eyes consti
iswered. She stood on the dunes th
time, several hundred yards from the Sky-
tower, а blur of light cloth sketched like
mist against the black sky. As he ran
toward her, her robe billowed out around
her and for а moment it almost looked
as if she were naked from the waist down;
but he immediately dismissed that pos-
sibility and attributed the distortion to
his watery vision. Then he remembered
the nera and slowed down. He forced.
his eye against the tiny viewer, saw noth-
ing but the blur of his own tears and
snapped. By the time he lowered the
camera, she was gone.

He peeled off the print and examined
t under the sharp glare of the flash-
ht. The entire photograph was black
except for the gleaming-white border
and a tiny gauzy blotch in the lower
nd corner. The blotch was far
too small to be identified, but Brother
Bearle recognized in its diaphanous te:
ture and filmy edges an evocation of the

ly in tears, his prayers were

The photo was reproduced the next
day in the county paper, but the reprint
was of such poor quality that the white
blotch appeared even more indistinct
than in the original. Brother Bearle 1а
mented the fact that none of the national
wire services picked it up. “If it was Oral
or Marjoe, you could be sure ird be
frontpage news,” he complained pri-
tely to Billie.

But despite this, he was happier than
he'd been since the days of his Bible Bal-
loon Crusade, when he had taken 100 of
his followers on a chartered plane to
Germany. In Berlin, they stuffed nearly а
quarter of a million balloons with por-
tions of the Bible translated into the
seven languages of the Con
for a week, they camped by the Wall,

it world;

mu;

Since you have to pay the penalty for bem,
you might as well get some of the rewards

12 YEARS oto WORL ON

PLAYBOY

waiting for an eastward wind, Brother
Bearle leading them in prayer and song,
asking God to “breathe upon them a
wind so mighty and direct the balloons
would carry all the way to Russia.” And
when the winds came at last—a gale,
really, churning and spitting out of a
Dlack, tortured sky—the balloons jerked
away into East Germany in fitful gusts,
bobbing and plunging like crazed and
homeless birds.

He was remembering that moment
several nights later as he walked with
Billie on the beach, in his mind compar-
ing the virginettes to the balloons, mes-
sengers of purity to be rel
world gone sour with godlessness and
lust. They had almost reached the Sky-
tower, which thrust heavenward from the
jetty, dark and full of promise, when
Billie spotted the flickering form of a
woman cast in the dull, milky light of
the mist. Not more than 100 feet from
them, she stood high up on a reef at the
point where it disappeared into the
dunes. Billie dropped to his knees, bowed
his head and murmured, “Mother of
Blessed Jesus, forgive me,” at the same
moment that Brother Bearle saw the
vision.

He was about to join his deacon in
humbled prayer when the vision sudden-
ly bent forward, gathered the hem of her
robe gracefully in her right hand and
began to lift the robe up over her knees.
There was no mistaking it this time: She
was naked beneath the robe and in the
light, which was brighter now—a flash-
ight held in her free hand beneath
the robe—he could see the full length of
her legs and thighs. She held the robe just
below her private parts and for a mo-
ment let it dangle there before raising it,
the beam spotlighting her crotch, which
was doubly naked, clean-shaven and as
smooth as ivory. Then she abruptly re-
leased the hem, turned and fled back
into the dunes.

“What in God's holy name?" Brother
le shouted, glancing quickly at Billie,

who still had his head bowed, his hands
al

asped tightly, his body rocking back
nd forth.
"Praise the Lord!" Billie chanted,
thinking his minister was calling for
response.

But Brother Bearle was already half-
way across the beach, his breath running
out of him in short bursts. When he
reached the crest of the dunes, his eyes
cast around wildly before he glimpsed
her on the far side, gliding spritelike
Across the lawn of the Bible School. He
tood there dumíounded. His heaving
breath brought him to the edge of nau-
sca while his dish g cyes tracked
her across the terrace, where she sud-
denly vanished behind the black-metal
door of the service entrance.

D
“I want to testify,

Billie pleaded be-

190 fore services on Sunday moming, as

Brother Bearle, still recling from shock,
stared gloomily out the window of the
office in his soon-to-beabandoned clap-
board church on the highway. “То atone
for my doubt, as it were.

ot today, Billie.” Dreading the in-
evitable jeopardy to his Bible School i
this ever got out, not to mention Billie's
ridicule, he had decided to keep quiet
about the latest vision

“When?” Billie leaned toward him
across the desk. His skin was no longer
le. A flush rose up through his cheeks,
brimming over in his eyes.

“Let's see what develops.”

Brother Bearle hoped that by some
miracle nothing would, that with less
than a week to go before the dedication,
whatever perversity he had been targeted
for would be redirected elsewhere. But
Tater that night, just before he went on
the air, the broadcaster on the 12-o'clock
news roundup announced that only mo-
ments before, a young girl dressed Jike
the Virgin Mary had exposed herself to a
group of bathers at the Regency Hotel
and then to a honeymoon couple on a
moonlight stroll through the dunes.

When the weather came on, Brother
Bearle was in such a state of agitation he
kept hearing the words storm clouds
again and again, as if the words them-
selves were a storm spinning and thr
ing around inside his head. Finally, the
light blinked to signal the end of the
nd he gaped at the serpen
tine twist of microphone 1 seemed
coiled for attack in front of him.

In his sermon, he decided to ignore
the reports and go ahead with his pre-
pared text, but the reprieve was all too
brief. The next day, the front page of
the county newspaper carried the story
under the headline: “LADY CHASTITY
STRIKES AGAIN!" "This time, the national
wire services did pick it up and withi
24 hours, it was national news. Brother
Bearle sulked through every radio
ТУ newscast he could find, read the cov-
erage flinching as each of
the headlines sniped at him above the
columns of print, the one that struck
closest to his heart a frontpage story
headlined "FEMALE FLASHER FLAU
FAIT nd by the time he was ready to
go on the air at midnight, he w.
ing with a rage of divine propor

Some of you out there listening to me
right now, some of you, yes, who call
elf the faithful, who call yourself
ain, some of you are saying to
yourself right now: Th fool,
man has been made mock of. Why
should we have anything more to do with
him? But the holy Lord has given me the
grace to forgive your faithlessness. That's

for you because you
this perversity is not
inst one poor minister who
has not lost his capacity to believe and is

newscast

n the paper

man is à

damn proud of it—but against each and
every one of you who calls yourself а
Christian.

"Right now, I know some of you out
there are asking, "Why should I bother to
make a Love Olfering to this man? But
we need your offerings now more th:
ever to continue our battle against the
filthy hand of lust I promise you no
effort will be spared to root out the har-
lot responsible for this and I will per-
sonally see that she is prosecuted to the
fullest extent of the law.

“PH get the slut,” he murmured under
his breath.

Aloud, over the air, he said: “Isn't
that right, Brother

"Amen," Billie replied, but in such a
weak voice it was almost inaudible.

"The first thing Brother Bearle did was
move out of the Mediterranean-style
ch house he had built for himself and
take а room on the fist floor of the
school. His fear of the reporters who
roamed the dunes was so great he dared
confide in no one, hoping to find who-
ever it was before she exposed herself
He had only one real clue and he
tried to pursue it with Sister Sharon on
the terrace over tea.

He lowered his cup with an unsteady
hand and cleared his throat. “Sister
Sharon, this may sound like a bizarre
question, but—he scraped his cup on
the saucer trying to find the groove, the
hot tea spilling over onto his hand—“is
there anything unusual . . . ? Have you
noticed . .. ? 1 mean, when the girls are
showering. . . ." The phrase shaved pussy
came into his mind and he winced, never
before having entertained so crass a term

“Yes, Brother Bearle?" Sister Sharon's
eyes fluttered above the pink blush of
her checks.

“Never mind, Sister.” He smiled and
patted her hand, inwardly troubled about
how to proceed.

But the next morning, during inspec-
, as his eyes cruised the last of the
three shower stalls, he noticed a sliver of
plaster chipped away alongside the water
pipe where it rose between the hot and
cold faucets. When he poked his finger
into the hole, more of the plaster fell
away. An hour later, while Sister Sharon
and the virginettes were at lunch, he
returned with a screwdriver and hammer
nd knocked n eyeball-sized hole
through to the storage room next doo
nd at 7:30 that night, he knelt in the
darkness with his left eye pressed to the
hole.

Because of the three stalls, he had only
a 33 percent chance of spotting her the
first night; but as the nights went on,
he concluded, the odds would grow
in his favor. The hole was inordinately
well placed—a sign to Brother Bearle
that this had been preordained—and

(continued on page 264)

by Lou Brooks
IN THE MEANTIME, ; ETA TEIDE |

> TO THE DENTIST” a). ENIM
[NE = Y ( Ра $ à NO 3

FORGOODNESS SAKE, SIR,
WAKE UP! YOUVE BEEN
DREAMING! THE DENTIST
WILL SEE You NOW!

AND YOU
CAN SEE

LIKE WHAT You SEE

.GRAMPS? _,

I'VE GOT THE OLD | = —
GOAT ALL EXCITED! | =

191

192

Ё
d

ЮНИР.

| CORNER AS USUAI
5 Чар НЕВЕ
F> JET AHEAD,
Û YOUNG MAN! di
> +
e A

ЖАШ

ME NICE BAND TONIGHT.
4 К x X) :
з = Gs

un
ea i

GUICK-INTO THE CLOSET J
1 JUST HEARD HAROLD'S

WHO TH’ HELL
ARE YOU?

WHY, TM YOUR
FAIRY GOD HEAD.

©-

1 TAKE IT YOU'RE Nor YS
HAVING TOO GOOD A TIME ух

* RA

DE wait A MINUTE A
РМ нако, #0
a 617

THE KRAUTZENBUMMER KIDS
THIS 15 MITZI UNO THIS 15 Vd
ТЕЕ МАМ EMMA STORKHOFER UN j

DOT'S NICE.
DER LITTLE
ANCHELLS DO
LOOK TIRED , VOT

U 1 HAF ASKED HER то
HER ТО SLEEP OVER. SLEEP OVER ALSO.

NOT TONIGHT , PAPA .
LAST ONE IN ВЕР ү GALUMPING — GALUMPING
15 A DUM*KOPF -

VILL МАКЕ DER. BOYS
имр
LA
Ln

Є SLEEP- OVERS
yy
ie. NN,

BERNICE HAS ALL THE BAWDY BERNICE 15 A
ENERGY OF CHAUCERIAN PENTAME TER! REAL CROWD

PLEASER, ALL.
RIGHT!

WELL PROFESSOR N
HOW WAS YOUR
SESSION WITH

BERNICE?

HAVEN'T BEEN SO B. де WELL AS THE
EXCITED SINCE GREGORN Y X) MULTIPLICITY OF
CORSO THREW UP \ MY £ QE ^ THEORETICAL
HUMANITIES SEMINARE EQUATION

IP | —

THERE I5, NO DOUBT.
A SCIENTIFIC REASON
FOR BERNICE'S

MARVELOUS GIFT!

THROUGH SPACE AND TIME илн
G e WITH > WENAGE `A TROIS
"ic MECANIQUE”

2 000 CREDITS Nip
AND ANOTHER

500 POSTAGE — / IN
THIS BETTER
BE WORTH

OF ALL THE DISGUSTING THINGS
YOU'VE DONE, THIS 15 THE WORS

YOURE NOT GOING ro 2
MAKE LOVE TO THAT... MACHINE!

|T BODES ILL

у
the ues of

| Жш SUDO fresh

Country fresh menthol.
Mild, smooth and refreshina.

Enjoy smoking again. |

2 Warning: The Surgeon General Kas Determined
KING: 16 mg. "tar" 11mg. nicotine, That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
BOX. 18 mg. “tar”, 12 mg, nicotine, zv. per cigarette. FTC Report MAY '78. :

MARILYN MONROE

(continued from page 132)

“Marilyn started screaming and tearing her hair out,
which she did whenever she got extremely upset.”

PLAYBOY

but tiny, only five feet tall. “He had the
best clothes in town,” Marilyn said, “but
they were like doll's clothes.” When they
made love, she told me, he'd get upset if
she didn't put on a display of ecstasy. “Т
didn't mind doing it,” Marilyn shrugged.
“But nothing seemed to excite me, It
asn't him. dt was me. But he took it
personally and I had to act like it was
the thrill of my life. At first, I was kind
of embarrassed ‘cause Johnny was so
short, but everyone looked up to him,
all the stars.

And Hyde got Marilyn her two most
important roles to date. They were small
roles, Marilyn playing the kept woman

in The Asphalt
Jungle and another kept woman—to a
vicious drama critic—in All About Eve.
“I started as a dumb blonde whore,” she
complained. “I'll end as one.”

Hyde died of a heart attack when
he was in his 50s. Marilyn cried when
she spoke about him. "He used to say
that I was the only one who could save
his life, but I thought he was joking.
And then Т decided T did love him, but
it was too late. I hated myself. Jesus, he
was my friend. I could have saved him. I
killed him. I killed him!” Marilyn started
scicuming and tearing her hair out,
which she did whenever she got extreme-
ly upset. Her feeling that she had caused
someone's death would surface again sev-
eral years later when Clark Gable died
of a heart attack after making The Mis-
fils with her.

of a crooked lawyer

°
Yves Montand was in New York dur-
ing the fall of 1959, doing a one-man
song-anddance show on Broadway. With
him was his wife, Simone Signoret, who
the next spring would win an Oscar for
her role in Room at the Top. The Mon-
tands had starred several years before in
a Paris production of Miller's play The
Crucible. Like Miller, they һай been
accused of being Communists and were
given a hard time by the State Depart
ment when they wanted to visit America.
After being rejected several times, they
were granted visas so that Montand could
do his show, Miller was eager to enter-
tain them when they arrived in New York,
TH never forget Marilyn's look when
they came through the door. Montand
bit like DiMaggio, and 1
could sense that Marilyn saw this. Yves
could speak very
would do a lot of transla!
Marilyn barely spoke at all. She just
stared at Yves and smiled, and he kept
smiling back. The four ate, drank and

1% had such a good time that I couldn't

underst

nd why the Millers didn't have
guests up more often,

The next day, M
phone for hours, asking everyone she
knew about Montand. The question
she kept asking was, How did he end up
marrying Simone Signore? "She's not
pretty,” Marilyn would say. "And she's
older than he is. What did she do to get
him?” Through her calls, Marilyn found
out that Montand had gotten his big
Cabaret performer because of a

rilyn was on the

Through Piaf, Montand beca
real singing star in France. She.
helped him get into movies.

“I bet he married Simone so shed help.
him become a big movie star," Marilyn
said. “That had to be it. For his c
Then she paused. "Well, I can’t blame
him. I mean, it’s so hard in movies,
You've gotta have connections. Anyway,
she's really nice. I can tell he looks up to
her. She's lucky.” She wished aloud that

еа
also

she could do a movie with him. “If he
would only | English, hed be
perfect."

Once all the American star:
turn down Lets Make Love, Marilyn
decided that Montand should do it. She
told Miller and her other advisors, who
said his English would be an impossible
problem. "He's learning real fast,” М
ilyn said. Montand had returned to the
apartment alone several times and
told Marilyn about his poor childhood—
how his father had worked in a factory,
how he himself had had to quit school at
11 to get a job, how he had worked in a
spaghetti factory and as a hairdresser,
how he had got started singing in rough
Marseilles cafés, doing the songs of
Maurice Cheva and imitations of
Donald Duck. Marilyn was entranced.
Miller was usually around when Mon-
nd was there and would sometimes help
translate for him and Marilyn, Frequent-
ly, he would return to his study to write
while the two others drank champagne
d chatted away while sitting on
the couch next to each other, Sometimes
Marilyn and Montand would hold hands
while they talked, but they always let go
whenever they heard the study door open.

Marilyn spent days on the phone push-
ing for Montand, and eventually he got
the role. As soon as she learned that he
had the part, she began rebcarsing her
song-and-dance numbers with an intense
determination. She'd stay up half the
night, struggling to learn the words of
the songs. She would use the liying room

as her stage and sometimes trip over ta-
bles or run into the sofa and bruise her
legs. She would put on a black leotard
and black-net stockings and sing and
dance for hours until she got things ex-
actly right. Miller looked exhausted: he
stayed locked up in his study or took his
dog on long walks to get away.

Aside from Мопгапа, the most exciting
thing that happened to Marilyn in the
months before she started Let's Make
Love was meeting Soviet premier Ni
Khrushchev when he visited Hollywood.
This was a publicity stunt dre:
by 20th Centur І believe M
even had to be told who Khrushchey was,
kept insisting. They told Ma
ilyn that in Russia America meant two
things. Coca-Cola and Marilyn Monroe.
She loved hearing that and agreed to
meet him. “I guess there’s not much sex
in Russia,” she laughed.

Marilyn's main memory of Khrushchev
was that he was “fat and ugly and had
warts on his face and he growled. Who
would want to be a Communist with a
president like that?" she joked, adding,
^] could. tell Khrushchev liked me. He
squeczed my hand so long and so hard
that I thought he would break it. I guess
it was better than haying to kiss him.

In the early part of 1960, when Mar-
ilyn went back to Hollywood, this time
with Miller, to make Let's Make Love,
they stayed, as usual, at the Beverly Hills

Hotel. In the suite next door were Yves

and Simone. It was the first time Marilyn
really enjoyed making a movie. “It's
Yves," she told me on the telephone.
Their relationship grew even doser
when Miller left for a few weeks to go to
Treland to visit John Huston, to work on
the screenplay for The Misfits, which
would be Marilyn's next movie. 1 asked
her if she were going to be lonesome а
by herself, “АП by myself? Are you
ding? I've got Yves and Simone ri

Then Simone won the Academy Award
as best actress and Yves appeared at the
ceremonies. "She's got the Oscar. She's
got Yves. She's smart. They respect her.
She's gor everything. What have I gor?”

Then Simone had to return to Europe
to begin production on a new film. Miller
had come back, but he, too, decided 10
leave to spend some time with his chil-
dren.

Marilyn and Yves quickly began their
affair. “But what about Mr. Miller?” Y
asked, when she told me about it.

Ma id she wasn't sure. She felt
hurt that he had left her alone in Holly
wood. “I don't think I'm the woman for
him,” she said without emotion. “Arthur
needs an intellectual, somebody he
talk to. He needs someone like
She broke into a big grin. “And Yves
needs me.

Yves was due to fly back to France via

(continued on page 206)

imone.”

If you're buying the middle,
go straight to the top.

If you know about SAE, youknow
about those awesome, 6 foot, $6000
racks of high-performance, high-end
audio.

Great for the audiophile. They call
it “state-of-the-art” The problem is we
don'tall live in the same state

Introducing SAE TWO.

If you're a real devotee, you'll want
the integrated amp, the tuner, and
maybe the cassette deck as well. Ifyou
draw the line at mild enthusiasm, you'll
want the receiver

Here's why:

The R3C receiver has a fully-com-
plementary amp, special low-noise pre-
amp, and tuning section with separate
tuning and signal strength meters. $335.

The СЗА integrated amp, alsoa
pre-amp, can handle two tape recorders
for dual dubbing. $325.

The T3U tuner combines a wide
tuning scale with linear phase filters for
unparalleled accuracy and selectivity.
$215.

The C3D cassette deck has a mind
of its own; a microprocessor chip and a
memory that protects your tapes while
providing solenoid logic control. $400.

If all this sounds more like SAE than
SAETWO, it should,

You're getting the sameleadership
in technology. The same logic in design.
The same passion forsot

True, SAE TWO costs the same as
any other mid-priced line.

But that's where all similarity ends.

te product and dealer information,
fast, write SAE TWO, PO. Box 60271, Terminal
Annex, Los Angeles California 90060 In Canada,
the Pringle Group, 30 Scarsdale Road, Don Mills,
Ontano, Canada МАВ 2R7 Prices mentioned are
nationally suggested values, actual pncesdeter-
mined by individual SAE dealers

vmm

A mid-priced line from a high-end company.

sro 1770,
| town ENGLAND,

British taste/ American price:

The two sides of Burnett
White Satin Gin

Of all the gins distilled in America, only Burnett's uses an
imported Coffey still. The same kind of still that's used in Britain. Thats
how we keep our taste so British, and our price so American.

PROOUCT OF U.S.A. - DISTILLED LONDDN DRY GIN - DISTILLED FROM GRAIN + THE SIR ROBERT BURNETT CO.. BALTIMORE. MD. + 80 & 86 PROOF

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

MAN
WOMAN

SEXY SECONDS

The days of death-do-us-part marriages may be coming
to a close, but the much-touted skyrocketing divorce rate
doesn't mean that marriage itself is on the way out. In
fact, four out of five divorced. people these days manage
to take another shot at matrimony—half of them within
a year of calling it quits. Under the circumstances, it's an
unimaginative soul, indeed, who has never said to him-
self, I wonder what kind of woman I'd marry if I ever
took the plunge again.

As it happens, Anthony Pietropinto and Jacqueline
Simenauer bring us Husbands and Wives, a survey of
almost 4000 wedded citizens from around the country,
And among the valuables they asked their respondents to
deposit in their data bank were remarriage fantasies,
Here are some sample responses from husbands:

“I would look for one who would listen instead of
argue at a drop of a pin.

"A person with a similar personality, willing to put a
home ahead of everything else, and thinner.

"Same as my wife except better physical appearance—
body, not face.”

I'd look for a rich woman."

Of course, anyone could stand a
what happens when people actually do remarry? Pietro-
pinto found that three out of five of the remarried folks
he questioned had actually hitched up with new spouses
significantly different from their previous partners. A full
one sixth, however, came up with second mates who were
similar in most ways to their discarded darlings. And,
with a pinpoint precision that could be the envy of a
Hollywood casting director, eight percent managed to
find new spouses similar in appearance but different in
personality from their predecessors, while four percent
opted for a new set of looks, same old temperament

How does it all work out? Very nicely, thank you. Sex
for the once-more-with-feeling crowd seems to be much
better than for the one-time-only bunch. Fifty-five per-
cent of the remarried respondents rated their sex lives at
the top of the scale, while only 35 percent of those in
first marriages felt their performance in the sack rated
three stars. And with good sex came other goodies: Com-
pared with first-timers, the remarrieds felt less taken for
granted, were less likely to believe that the marriage had
changed them in some way for the worse and more often
claimed that they'd marry the same person again if they
had it to do over yet again.

Sound pretty appealing? Before you dial your divorce
lawyer, you might want to keep this in mind: Most of the
remarried people answering the questionnaires were com-
paring their current marriages with earlier ones that were

bad enough to end up in divorce. And when you come
out of the desert, a puddle can look like a lake.

KISSY-KISSY

Many American men are still not all that comfortable
ith the idea of social kissing. They find there's some-
thing about casual lipwork that’s just a little too showbiz,
if not downright French. Still, the alternative of sharing
a hearty handshake with an amiable lady smacks of the
Li'l Abner league and social kissing seems here to stay. So
lets look at a few pecking pointers to help you triumph
in the kissing ritual.

+ Every social milieu has its own kissing etiquette.
Rural types tend to be somewhat stingy with the smooches,
while in the entertainment business, even a casual round
of introductions inevitably ends up looking like a feeding
frenzy in the guppy tank. Smack with the pack.

+ When in doubt, follow the lady's lead. If she puckers
up expectantly or offers a welcoming expanse of check,
feel free to plant one on her. A good technique for avoid-
ing misunderstandings is to start with a handshake and
pull her gently into pecking position. If she comes, go. IL
she responds like 2 blue marlin with a hook set, you can
always gracefully drop her hand.

* Try to remember that social kissing
slosh-and-slobber tongue tricks for the bedroon
kiss should be like good champagne—light and dry. It
isn’t necessary to land your lips with the precision of a
lunar module. Anywhere in the gencral vicinity of the
face will do. And don't glom on like a leech in heat once
you've made contact. A quick brush of the lips is all that's
called for. If the lady seems inclined to linger or puts ап
unmistakable bit of erotic English into her response, you
can register the reaction for future use, but don't attempt
to consummate such an invitation on the spot.

= If you've been munching garlic or onions or swilling
high-octane cocktails, give the lady a break and keep your
lips sealed during the clinch. Nothing undercuts the
warmth of a friendly bit of osculation like a blast of
garbage gas.

* Unless you're а midget or have а sincere thing for
knuckles, leave the hand kissing to titled Europeans over
the age of 70.

+ It may happen sometime that you will look up and
find a male looming in for the old smackeroo. Don’t
panic. Just because you share a hearty embrace with an-
other man doesn't mean you're going to wake up the next
day with a mad craving to open up 2 little antique shop
with him. The only time you have to worry about being
kissed by a man is when his name is something like Eddie
“The Nutcracker” Scungili and you owe him money.

rd
>
E
S
о
де
E
©
Ф
=
5
Ф

The Roses Gimlet.
ur parts vodka, one part elegance.

Lime Juice. Which

is the essential ingredient ® properly, simply stir 4 to 5
for turning any vodka into the parts vodka, gin or light rum
most elegant of cocktails. with one part Rose's Li

That's because Rose's Lime Juice. Serve ice cold, straight
Juice has an uncanny way f up or on the rocks.
of stimulating the taste | Tastea little elegance tonight
of vodka, gin or light rum Have a Rose's Gimlet.

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

HOW TO BUY
A USED
SPORTS CAR

sedan, He would haye put his cave on wheels. Cars

with steel tops are for snow, ice and cub-scout packs.
Even the or al automobile inventors in their consid-
erable wisdom built convertibles. Whipping along in a
finely tuned sports car with the weeds at your sides and
the whole sky for a roof is what Mother Nature intend-
ed. Despite the popularity of recreational vehicles and
sporty” sedans, nothing quite compares to the feel of four
fast ones underneath and God's own air conditioning for
climate control.

There is a precious small selection of true—i.e., top-
less—sports cars on the market today. But they are well
worth the search if you enjoy rather than loathe the act of
driving anywhere in our car-connected world. Many
people think sports cars are expensive. That's because they
ате. A new MGB lists at over $6000; a Fiat 2000 Spider
at over $7000. This is actually less than your fully loaded
Olds, but some folks think you're extravagant if you
spend the same thing on a car that carries only two and
опе half people.

Fortunately. you don't have to lay out big bucks to find
open-car happiness. There are plenty of good buys in used
sports cars оп the market every day. With a reasonable
dose of common sense, buying a previously owned foreign
pop-top need be no more frightening than finding a well-
preserved Chevy Nova.

The tricks to choosing a used sports car are patience
and a good суе. Like Captain Ahab tracking the great
white whale, you must move with Joblike care but strike
swiftly when the right deal surfaces. There are lots of
uncared-for, overpriced sports cars on the market, so don’t
go for something you almost love if the engine does not
sound right or the seats wobble or the owner is asking
$500 too much. You'll know the right car when it comes
along. Here's how:

Jf f God had meant for man to ride around in a closed

SHOP AROUND

Don't hesitate to walk onto a used-car lot and drive two
or three MGBs or Fiats or whatever is there to learn the
characteristic strengths and foibles of the various makes.

these cars will be overpriced, but you may strike
an acceptable deal if the car is really good. Scan the news-
paper ads early every day: buy the Sunday paper on
irday afternoon. And if you see something great, don't
wait for Sunday to call.

I drove an even dozen cars before finding my latest
mistress, a 1975 Fiat Spider with 26,000 miles, in excellent
condition, for only $3100. І had been sorely tempted by
another car, but it ran unevenly and showed poor interior
care. E held out and it paid off,

MILEAGE

All things mechanical break sooner or later, so look
for wheels with under 25,000 miles and never go over
55,000. Favor a car that has had little work done to it: a
healthy vehicle tends to stay that way. Examine body
nels in good light; a difference in color shading usually
means a wreck in the car's past.

ROAD TEST

This is the fun and serious part. Road sensitivity and
tight handling are the hallmarks of a sports car. Take it
out on straightaways, tight curves and some rumpled
roadway. If you feel as if you're negotiating a rubber
raft over white water every time you hit bumps, this
roadster is not for you. There should be very little free
play in the steering wheel. The car should take tight
curves at fairly high speed without much sway; a strong
tilt means bad shocks. Release the steering wheel while
braking; if the car pulls to one side, it has worn pads or
an imbalance in the hydraulic system.

ENGINE RESPONSE

The engine should idle smoothly at about 1100 rpms
and jump immediately at a touch of the accelerator. The
car should be able to sprint in any gear. If it is sluggish,
forget it—you're missing the sportscar experience. All
high-compression engines tend to bubble on deceleration
but if the car misses or gurgles on fast acceleration, it
needs more than a good tune-up, Try a few high-rev starts
from scratch to check for clutch slippage.

THE TOP

On Fiats, look for frayed spots along the struts. On
MGBs, check for small rips on the rear quarter panels.
Raise and lower the top during the test drive. With the
top up. can you see daylight or water stains where it
meets the car? With the top lowered, does the frame
shake or rattle?

MAKING YOUR MOVE

If after all this tinkering you think you've got a good
piece of swift iron in your hands, just sit back and ride
a bit. This is the all-important psychoemotional test
drive. If it were a person, would you buy this car another
drink? Are you becoming friends? I not, don't be tempt-
ed to second-guess yourself. Do the same thing you would
ata bar, walk away. 3

Buying a used sports car is not unlike buying your first
pair of running shoes: No matter what the experts sa
it doesn't feel right to you, it's wrong. As soon as you climb
into the right one, you'll know it — —PETER ROSS RANGE

td
m
©
O
<
л
нр
E
©
Ф
Es
S
Ф

9 mg. "tar", 0.8 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by ЕТС method.

LOW TAR - ENRICHED TOBACCO

The first low'tar'cigarette
good enough to be called И 2

Kings and 1005.

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

TRAVEL AGENTS,
TOURISM
AND YOU

States, trailing only the food and construction busi-

nesses. The key to the success and pleasure of any
trip is often the competence of the travel agent you
choose. Here are a few tips on finding one who—it's
hoped—will make the going great.

ss is the third-largest industry in the United

RULES OF THE GAME

ce travel agents do not charge their customers any-
thing for booking airline seats, hotel rooms, package tours,
etc., many people feel they have nothing to lose by going
to them. They make money by recciving commissions from
the airlines, hotels and companies whose services they sell
to you, Those commissions vary from about seven percent
of the cost of a domesticairline ticket to nearly 30 percent
of the price of some package tours. If you have ever sold
anything on a straight-commission basis, you understand
the pressure to produce high-volume business. You also
understand the urge to sell the products that make the
most money for you. What you have to lose by going to a
travel agent, therefore, is not your moncy but your chance
of getting the travel arrangements that fit your needs and
desires, at the best possible price. The way to keep the
odds in your favor is to understand what you can and
should expect from a competent travel agent and whats
unreasonable to expect.

WHAT TO EXPECT

Your travel agent should belong to the American So
cicty of Travel Agents (ASTA). To be a member, he must
have been in business at least three years and must meet
certain financial requirements. ASTA. membership is no
guarantee of competence, but it is reassuring. Look for
a sticker on the agent's door signifying membership, along
with all those airline decals that indicate that he is
authorized to sell tickets for those carriers.

The agency should be able to issue tickets on the spot.
The holding of airline validation plates and blank ticket
stock is an important indication of an agency's status. If
it cannot issue tickets on the spot, there is usually a good
eason why the airline does not permit it to do so. Don't
stick around to find out the reason. Also be wary of any
agent who operates out of his home or apartment. (Don't
laugh. Plenty of people each year get burned by phony
fly-by-night agents.)

A competent agent should haye knowledge about your
destination beyond w brochure. The best infor-
mation, of course, is insight gathered on the spot by
someone from the agency. If that isn't available, ask that

the agent have someone who has recently been on your
trip contact you. If you or he can’t find someone who has
actually been there, consult some of the many guidebooks
that are available at your library or bookstore.

Another necessity is background information about the
person or persons responsible for your flight, tour or
cruise. Often a tour wholesaler assembles a group and
assumes liability for all or part of your trip, even though
it is sold to you by a retail agent. Your agent should
identify any middleman and youch for his reliability.

Unless money is no object to you, you should expect
accurate fare information, including the lowest possible
price, without having to ask for it. Even so, the air-fare
situation is so chaotic that you should always double-check
details with the airline's rate desk, especially when you
are booking a complicated trip with multiple stopovers
or discount fares.

BEYOND THE CALL OF DUTY

No agent can guarantee that everything will be perlect
on your иір. Some details, such as weather and flight
delays, are beyond his control. Other things, such as hotel
overbookings (the number-one cause of complaints) or
sudden changes in itinerary after you depart, may be the
legal responsibility of a tour wholesaler. You сап check a
whole: track record by calling your Better Business
Bureau, ASTA headquarters in New York or the Federal
Trade Commission in Washington:

Its also unreasonable to expect a travel agent to be
completely knowledgeable about every destination. If the
faraway place you're hankering to visit is really off
the beaten track, try to find an agent who specializes in
more unusual junkets. Agents also can't be expected to
have brochures on all resorts and towns. Libraries, tourist-
information offices (пу the New York telephone book)
and май of airlines who serve foreign destinations are
often gold mines of info.

Also keep in mind that an agent can't be all things to
all people. If you're a backpacker or a five-dollar-a-day
gourmet, you probably sleep and eat in places that aren't
listed in any agent's reference guides and that are not used
to dealing with cabled reservation requests in English.
Making your own arrangements can һе fun, anyway.

No agent can do the impossible. That includes booking
Caribbean resorts two weeks before Christmas or finding
choice accommodations in Acapulco at Easter. It may
scem hard to believe, but every hotel in Florence may be
booked during July. Be reasonable and don't expect
miracles. Remember, the idea is not to go away happy
but to return that way. — TOM PASSAVANT

29
©
a
Si
[o]
"d
nS
4S}
p
5
Ф

TIPS ON KEEPING YOUR LIFESTYLE IN HIGH GEAR

A GUIDE TO
IMPORTED
BREWS

Washington source recently commented that when a
Aves begins exporting beer to America, it's a sure
sign that diplomatic relations are improving. Even

na had shipped over its own weak brew, inappro-
priatcly named Greatwall, prior to establishing а formal

Judging by the overwhelming popularity of imported
brews, malt diplomacy has proved an incredible success.
Sales of foreign beers have skyrocketed, growing ten times
faster than the market for beer brewed in the U.S.A. Here
are some of the best of the imported suds.

GREAT BEERS OF EUROPE,

In England, the bold red Bass signature is almost as
much of an institution as the neighborhood pub. The so-
called pale ale actually has a caramel color and aroma—
and it's delicious. Watneys Red Barrel is a sleeper. Sudsy
enough to h clothes in, this English beer also smells
like an old bar rag. Amazingly, it's a gentle, rich brew.

Ireland's Guinness Stout is very dark and quite bitter,
but the British national drink is a taste worth acquiring.
Harp is an easier-te-swallow Trish beer from Guinness.

Skol from Holland proclaims itself "International
Beer,” produced by license in a dozen countries. At first
sip, Skol lacks body, but it rallies with a tangy ending.
Heincken’s distinctive flavor makes it the world's most
popular export. It's a uniformly tasty beer with a creamy
head. Oranjeboom, another Dutch brew, provides a good
European flavor at a much lower price than Heineken.
Slightly bitter, Oranjeboom remains a solid bière ordi-
naire, Holland's final entry is the sharp-tasting Grolsch,
which comes in an intriguing 15-ounce bottle featuring а
wire contraption that holds a ceramic stopper instead
of the usual bottle cap. The resealable gizmo is great for
the less-than-one-beer thirst.

Denmark's Carlsberg Light Deluxe stands for one of
Europe's great brewing names. The gold-label export is
а consistently mouth-watering brew. A sparkling, amber
inner.
ier Urquell from Czechoslovakia is "the original
source" for the world's pilsnerstyle beers. The sharp flavor
of Bohemian hops is for hard-core drinkers only.

Kronenbourg is at the opposite end of the beer spec-
trum. The French import is tasty but underwhelmi
The beer low er to Perrier.

The Mediterranean's most famous beer is Fix, from
Greece, a fizzy brew with a pungent tang.

Germany, where housewives leave notes for the beer
men, is the beer connoisseur's mecca. Beck's is the leading

German beer in America since the demise of imported
Lówenbrau. Beck's refined bitter aftertaste is the trade-
mark of one of the world’s finest beers. St. Pauli Girl fea-
tures a beer-hall Fräulein on the label. She serves up a
pleasant but very light brew. Dortmunder Union comes
from a city of brewing fanatics. Its beer exudes character-
istic German flavor. Würzburger was first brewed in Ba-
varia in 1643, It’s clean-tasting but extremely heavy. Not
for guzzling.

CLOSER TO HOME

Despite its fiery carbonation, Mexico's Carta Blanca
is actually a well-mannered, pleasant beer. Dos Equis has
long been a favorite of Mexican-lood aficionados. Its tart,
refreshing flavor helps extinguish the blaze. Bohemia
brand is a rich, Viennastyled brew produced at the
Cuauhtémoc brewery since 1890.

The eye-catching metallicblue label of O'Keefe Cana-
dian stresses that it’s imported. Yet, except for an im-
pressive two-inch head, it's much like American brew.
Labau’s Blue has a lot less foam but truc beer aroma.
It is a bit thin, but the dry, smooth taste of Labatt's still
comes through. “An honest brew makes its own friends.”
declares a bottle of Molson. The affable Canadian is a
crisp, superior import that often costs little more than
premium American beers.

FAR-OUT BREWS

Australia's Tooths KB Lager is exported to the U.S.
in an oversized, 25-cunce can. Inside is a mild, ginger-
colored lager with a slightly hoppy flavor. A heavier,
satisfying Australian beer is Foster's Lager, also in a 25-
ounce can, the bestknown product of a country where
beer drinking is a national mania.

Japan's "beer of legend" displays the woolly Ki
half horse, hall dragon who charmed а Chinese woman
00 years ago. ‘The beast's namesake is a mellow, tangy
brew. The nutlike flavor of Japanese Sapporo may be
traceable to the use of rice in the brewing process. The
rising sun on the bottle of Tokyo's Asahi leaves little
doubt as to its origin. Neither does the flavor of its cloudy
brew, reflecting a distinctive Asian style.

San Miguel is a world-class pilsner from the Philip-
pines. A fine thirst quencher, San Miguel has a pleasing
flavor that has developed a cult following in the U. S.

Taking up my beer mug against a sea of imported suds
leaves only one question: Do they pay $1.50 for a
—LEE MICHAEL KATZ

"d
D
©
О
st
un
a
E
©
Ф
E:
3
Ф

PLAYBOY

MARILYN MONROE

(continued [rom page 196)

“She stormed through the living room and pounded
on the study door. Miller refused to come out.”

New York in a few days. Marilyn had a
rendezvous all planned for when he
changed planes. She booked a room, un-
der another name, naturally, at a hotel
near Idlewild Airport. She ordered flow-
ers and several big bottles of champagne.
She even took two baths the day of his ar-
rival, one in the morning and another
that night before she left for the airport.
in her limousine.

The next day, when I came to work,
Marilyn was nearly hyster
scribed how all her pla
fouled up. "Everyone wi she
moaned. Yves hadn't wanted any part of
going to the hotel with her. He had
wanted to get back ro Paris, and to
Simone, as soon as possible. "He tried to
be nice," Marilyn sobbed. “He kissed me
and all. But he said that the idea of his
leaving Simone was . . . ridiculous, He
told me what a ‘nice time’ he had had.
The last thing he said was that Arthur
and I should come visit him and Simone

in France. Wouldn't that be someth| g?
Now, you know they're gonna be sitting
in Paris and laughing their heads off
at me.

At least Marilyn didn't have much
time to sit around and mope. She was
scheduled to begin making Miller's film,
The Misfits, right away. Actually, one of
her last fights with Miller, and probably
the worst, was about his script for The
Misfits. One afternoon, she came back
into the bedroom s g. and threw
a champagne bottle against the wall,
smashing it into a million slivers. “He
ivs his movie. I don't think he even
wants me in it,” she barked, slamming
the closet door open and shut. I thought
she was going to break it off,

She stormed through the living room
and began pounding on the study door
which was locked, Miller refused to com
out "Fm your wife. I'm your wife,”
Marilyn kept screamii t's not your
movie, it's ours. You wrote it, but you

“Things with Barry and me are really heating
up—we even do it during ‘Saturday Night Live. ”

you wrote it for me, Now
all yours. You lied. You lied
was still no answer from Miller.

Marilyn kicked over some

tables,
banged down the keys of the piano and

grabbed another champagne botte,
When she returned to her room, I heard
a terrible crash. She had thrown the bot-
Че at the mirror behind her bcd. Her
sheets were covered with glass and she
kept slamming her body against the closet
door, I grabbed her and held her
tight for the longest while, so she wouldn't
hurt herself, Miller did not sleep in the
apartment that night or any other night
before they left for Neyada in the sum-
mer of 1960.

As she usually did when she was upset,
Marilyn began eating too much, She was
getting fat. "I don't care," she snapped,
when I tried to keep her from stufing
herself. "Who do I need to look good
for? Whi
Clark Gable,” I replied.

She stopped cating. She was dissatisfied
with many things about her next film,
but starring with Clark Gable was a fan-
tasy of hers that dated back to her child-
hood, when she would pretend he
her long-lost father, Actually, it was the
presence of Gable and of her friend
Montgomery Clift that made Marilyn go
ahead with The Misfits.

The first thing she didn't like was her
role, as a divorced woman who moves in
vith a cowboy, Clark Gable. * not
just a dumb blonde this time, I'm a
crazy dumb blonde. Which is worse? And
to think, Arthur did this to me." Marilyn
blamed Miller for all she didn't like
about the movie. “He was supposed to
be writing this for me. He could have
written me anything and he comes up
with thi

On one take, Marilyn told me, she was
so electrified by Gable's k that she
let the sheets drop and he accidi Пу
placed his hand on her breast. “I got
goose bumps all over" Marilyn ex-
claimed. “That Kiss . . . that touch . . . oli

Marilyn told me she slept perfectly
that night. without one pill. She dre:
about doing even more with Gable
that was а dream. He treated me like I
was his little girl. Sometimes he'd pinch
me and say, ‘Get to work, Beautiful, or,
"Why are sexy women so late? Other
times, he'd give me a little squecze on
nd call me Chubby or Fatso. I
ays wanted to reach out and throw
my arms around him, but I was too
ed. I mean, you just can't go up and
kiss Clark Gable. But once, after a really
good scene, he kissed me on the lips and
said, ‘Thanks.’ ГЇЇ never forget it.”

If Gable represented Marilyn's father,

she saw her other co-star, Montgomery
Clift, as her son, or maybe her baby
brother. “If they think I've got troubles,
they should look at Monty. He's more

А8 } DA

ГҮ e E Ri

ў
|
we |

4 y
; Г
IU LiquEUR E.
2 BALD _

Hardly your everyday liqueur.

Some things in life are too precious for every.day. Lochan Ога is one. An imported golden liqueur
with a unique taste all its own, it's to be lingered over—sipped slowly, savored fully.
You'll be proud to share it—but not with just anybody.

Lochan Ora. Imported Liqueur.

7OPROOF « IMPORTED BY GENERAL WINE & SPIRITS CO, N.Y...

What doesa woman want?
—SIGMUND FREUD

Nothing else feels like real gold

Giving real gold means giving Karat Gold. Personal, beautiful—onytime, anywhere. Karat Gold Jewelry.

messed up than anybody,” she would ва
Clift, who was onc of Hollywood's best
nd best-looking young actors, had been
horribly disfigured in ап automobile
wreck. Marilyn said he never got over
it, He drank and took drugs all the time
Marilyn felt very protective toward him.
He was the only big name in the cast who
was on Marilyn's "side," as she described.
her conflict with Miller. (Huston, Eli
Wallach and all the a nt dir
cameramen, er al, were on
side.” Gable seemed to be above
"With all that stuff about me and Yves in
the papers, no wonder they all feel sorry
for Arthur. It makes look like a
tramp. And Arthur looks so hurt, too;
God, I don't blame them for hating me. I
know he'd never hurt me—he'd do any-
thing. But we're wrong. the two of us—
this marriage is wrong. And it's imposs
ble to explain it to the others here. Its
none of their damn business. So they just
keep thinking it’s all my fault Im
a mean bitch. Lena, you know I

Marilyn called me, in tears, one day
ad been injured during a
He's so frail and sick, Lena.
.. . fast. He's the
nd, the only star friend I've got.
Ш he’s out sick, I won't have anybody.
I'm so scared.” Luckily, Clift recovered
id was good company for Marilyn. "We
to figure out for cach other what to do.
1 take to fall asleep. He са
id. "Monty's just

She often thought that she might be in
love with him. "He needs me. He needs
someone. ГА love to help him. Oh, but
he's so impossible." Monty, as she called
him, would come over to the New York
apartment when he was in town, usually
dressed in shabby clothes that looked as
if he had slept in them for days.

Like ed mother,
didn't think Monty
She'd always have me prepare a big steak
Tor him and the minute he arrived, shed
Icad him to the diningroom table, where
t had been set out. He pushed
everything aside. АШ he wanted was
па straight vodka, which he drank
itcr. Sometimes he'd take a pill and
wash it down with vodka. Marilyn begged
him to eat, but he simply shook his head.
Sceming 10 be in a trance, he just drank,
stared and mumbled а few words to
Marilyn, They would talk about how
terrible Hollywood was. They talked
about their psychiatrists. Now Monty was
going to play one—Freud. That amused
them
you

conc

Marilyn
was eating right.

"I wish 1 could play one, too. God,
and I know more about them th

n
er, Marilyn warned
ng again with John

body. How
Monty about wo
Huston

le's a mean bastard. He'll use you,"
she s "Maybe it’s just with me, but
I'd be careful.”

They would also talk about dru

- The

sun /
SUNDOWN
(Formerly Uppers & Downers)
РО. Drawer 11899, Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. 33339
For her hand crocheted string bikini, send
$12.99 + $1.50 handling, (Fl. residents add 4%
State Sales Tax) We're happy to mix sizes—
indicate separately and add $3.
O Master Charge [1 Visa (BankAmericard)
O Check/Money Order

Full Signature Act No.

Expiration Date

Name (Please Print

Address

City/State/Zip. PBS

OR CALL TOLL FREE (orders only): 1-800-325-6400.

wrange O wine grape O natural beige
O hot pink C: chocolate D emerald green

Second color che

«Shell incite all the passion of the
sunin this sexy hand crocheted
string bikini! Exciting 1979 colors
fromwhich to choose. Flasticized
100% pre-shrunk cotton
for perfect fit.

No nonsense guarantee — Refund if not totally
satisfied, return within 10 days. *12”

Lightweight...Sensual..Adjusts to your comfort. An ex-
perience in rest or play unmatched by any other support
structure. Takes the seasickness, immobility, and weight
out of waterbeds, yet olfers the вате "give and take" sen:
‘sation. Two people can sleep on а full. queen or king size
bed undisturbed by the other's movements. The aif сой
construction, with multiple controlled air chambers, sup-
ports your body evenly and independently.

39" x 7 (кет 2239) 849.95
Full-54" x 74” (item 2354) $6995
2 Queen-60" x 80" (пет 2360) $7995 |
2 King 4" x & (нет 2374) $9995
Add $4.95 per bed for shippingand insurance. [|
© AC Air Pump (Item 0004) $29.95
DC Purnp-plugs into auto cigarette lighter.
Mem Goes) $29.98
Minois Residents include 5% sales tax.
Check or M.O. Enclosed
© Charge My Credit С;
D American Express Li Mastercha
| BankAmerJVisa (Diners Club
CardNo. Exp. Da
Name.
Address.

city

Please send me the following AIR BED(S): y

The AIR BED is the most revolutionary and luxurious way |
1o spend a third of your life. You are gently but firmly sup-
ported by 100% air instead of metal Springs and stuffing.
Many chiropractors agree the structured Air Bed has un-
precedented orthopedic value as a permanent mattress.
Store Iton a shelf. take It camping. use it in your van, boat, |
summer home. on a floor or in 2 frame. Sunbathe and float
‘All 8^ high standard sizes. Twin-39 x74", Double:

54°x74", Queen-60"x80". King-74''x80". inflates in min. | State
utes with any eir pump or cannister vacuum. (Bed comes | Signature
with adapter) Durable 20 gauge poly vinyl cleans with soap | PBMC-121 ‘emi 1970203

apd waler. Repair Ki included ‘High Powered Ar Pumps. ЕЖ
AC pump operates from standard electrical outlet cnn CARD ORDERS
Pump operates тот auto cigarette lighter 629 98еасп. fatousmt 800-323-2272 rees ters 25 5265
Do not be confused by Inferior imitations. This is the pẹ 790 Maple lane Bensenville. Il 60106

еа «Contemporary ,,

higi as $119.95, Try it for. 10 day:
Marketing lnc.

iron 102 595 6I

ош
not satisfied. reium it within 10 days for a refund.

PLAYBOY

210

only time Monty showed any enthusiasm
at all was when he'd describe some new
painkiller or sleeping pill a doctor had
recommended. Marilyn would always nag
him to write down the name. She would
invariably call her own doctor to ask
about the pill the minute Monty had left.
“He needs a woman to love him,"
Marilyn announced one day. “Just like I
need someone.” Marilyn told me the
stories she had heard that Monty was a
homosexual. She didn't want to believe
them at all, The notion of a man sleeping
with another man struck Marilyn as in-
credibly weird. "Why would he do that?
He could have any girl in the world."
Besides, she knew Monty was good
friends with Elizabeth Taylor, whom he
never discussed with Marilyn and whom
Marilyn was too proud to ask about.
Nevertheless, she kept regarding Eliza-
beth as her chief rival and sometimes
couldn't hide her jealousy of her. The
51.000.000 Elizabeth w getting for
Cleopatra annoyed Marilyn. Then Mar-
ilyn brought up a new way in which she
was competing with Elizabeth, and los.
ing. "I bet Monty sleeps with her. I bet
he does," Marilyn declared. “Why her?”
Suddenly, Marilyn. decided that if
Elizabeth Taylor could sleep with Mont-
gomery Clift, why couldn't she? She liked
him more than anyone else in show
business and w
way about her. Seducing him became a
big challenge for her. On the day he was
going to come over, Marilyn had her I
and nails done and picked out a very sexy
outht, Normally, all she wore was her
white robe, and looked as sloppy as
Monty. Today would be differ

ted him to feel the same

She selected a pair of white pants with
a matching white-silk blouse. Both wer
skinught and revealed every contour of
her body. She even wore matching white
high heels and drenched herself with Joy.
on her arms, her thighs, her stomach; be-
hind her knees. Monty did a slight dou-
ble take when he walked through the
door, “You've got company,” he apolo-
gized, thinking he had come on the
wrong day.

“Only you,” Marilyn whispered soft
Monty seemed confused. Instead of si
ting at the diningroom table, Marilyn
lured Monty to the couch, where she fed
him caviar with a spoon. She was sitting
nearly on top of him, but he didn't make
a move, not even when she sighed and
lay down on the couch with her head ii
his lap. He just kept drinking and mum-
bling occasionally, as usual. Because
Marilyn was so shy, this was absolutely as
far as she could go. She told me later that
she didn't have the nerve to kiss him.

Realizing that the couch was a dead
end, Marilyn soon got up to pour some
champagne. Then, holding her glass, she
walked back and forth in front of Monty,
who was still slouching on the couch.
Her steps were very self-conscious, her
hips swaying in the most alluring w
The light streaming through the win-
dows was certainly to her advantage,
showing off her spectacular figure. As I
came in with a caviar refill, Marilyn gave
me a hopeless shrug. Then, without no-
tice, Monty stood up and walked over to
her. I watched from the hallway, hoping
that she had achieved her purpose. Her
big smile told me she thought the same.

“You know, I'll bet fifty percent of our business
isimpulse buying.”

But instead of sweeping Marilyn into
his arms, Monty pulled back his hand to
give her a teasing swat on her backside.
“You've got the most incredible ass,” he
aid, and pecked her cheek. “Listen, I've
got to go. See you.” As he closed the door
behind him, Marilyn fell back on the
couch and started giggling.

“I give up, Lena. I tried, Boy, I tried.
You Know, I kinda doubt that he does
anything with Elizabeth Taylor, either. I
think I was wrong about that. He's a
mess. . . but I still Iove him.”

Marilyn didn't take it personally. She
went back to her bedroom and stripped.
off her clothes. Then she put on a Sinatra
record, lay on the bed and daydreamed
away the rest of the afternoon,
ven though she struck out with Monty
Clift, Marilyn began to be impressed with
the idea that she was Hollywood's Queen
of Sex. She kept on her diet, took better
care of her hair and skin, and never
stopped looking in the mirror. "1 look
pretty good for an old lady in her
thirties, don't I, Lena?" she would ask m:
constantly, while strutting nude before
her mirrors, She did, indeed

Marilyn even began sending down for
copies of PLaynoy. She'd open the center-
fold, look at some girl in her late teens
or carly 20s, then look at herself.
better,” she'd Hmm ... not bi

even if | have to say 50... . What do you
think?" She always needed encourage-
ment. Sometimes she would talk about

appearing in PLAynoy. She was worried

that she had been out of sight for to

long and about the bad publicity her

hospital stays might have gotten her. “If

I were in PLAYBOY, t would sure make

everyone know I’m still around
.

One afternoon in December 1960, quite
e after Miller had moved out,
Marilyn decided to go out shopping. New
York was aglow for the Christ:
People were buying gifts for friends and
family. And Marilyn was all alone; the
divorce would be final in another month.
she came back to the apartment, empty-
handed and crying. There was no tree,
no gilts, no cards, The place was cold and
lonely. I felt sorrier for her than ever.

I made Marilyn а big Italian dinner to
cheer her up. When I returned to her
room, she hadn't eaten a thing. She just
stared at the food. "Take it away,
please," she said. About 7:30, I went back
to see how she was. Something told me
that 1 had better watch her closely. My
instincts were correct. The draperies to
one of the bedroom windows had been

pulled aparı, which was almost never
done. Furthermore, the window was wide
open. Marilyn was standing before it

with her white robe on. She normally
never wore anything in the bedroom,
except maybe when there were guests.
The only time she even went near the

‘I didn't
sacrifice

at flavor
EO get
low Тат?

“The first thing I expect from a cigarette is flavor. And

satisfaction. Finding that in a low-tar smoke wasn't easy.

“But then I tried Vantage. Frankly, I didn’t even know

Vantage was low in tar. Not until [looked at the numbers.

“That's because the taste was so remarkable it stood up
toanythingId ever smoked.

x "For me, switching to

.'* Vantage was an easy move to

make. I didn't have tosacrifice a thing”

Peter Accetta
New York Сиу New York.

poma
p. Z ШШ
i FILTER 100's: 10 mg. "ti
M mg.

EAS 3 x К Ў,
8 mg. nicotine, FILTER, MENTHOL: ~: ۹
.B mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAY 78. > ап a e

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

Regular, Menthol and Vantage 1005.

211

PLAYBOY

window was to wave good night to me.
‘This was more than strange. Both of her
hands grasped the outside molding, It
looked as if she might jump.

I гап over and surprised her by grab-
bing her around the waist. She turned
around and fell into my arms, "Lena, no.
Let me die. | want to dic. I deserve to
at have I got to live for?"

“Are you crazy?” I said, closing the
window

nd draperies.
live anymorc.

What have 1
fe? Who do I have? I's

done with my |
Christmas!"

T had. been through this sort of thing
with Marilyn once before, about a year
еа Miller һай been away іп С
necticut and Marilyn had gone ош to
dinner with some people visiting from
Hollywood. She had given me the night
off. When I arrived the next morning at
сїрїн, I found her unconscious on her
bedroom rug, her face caked with the
r ner, which she had

ins of her di:

thrown up. Unable to wake her, I called.
the doctor, a fat. friendly man, who came
immediately, pumped Marilyn's stomach

and put her in bed. When М ived,
she called Miller in from Connecticut.
He rushed back, very concerned. Once
Marilyn was awake, she smiled weakly
and asked, with all innocence, “What did
I do? Oh, r
some spaghet
an instant, she told me wl
pened. She had gotten all dressed up to
go out (I had helped her) but found h
self very depressed when no one noticed
her at the restaurant. Also, her compa
ions barely complimented her. She was so
unhappy she was unable to fall aslecp.
st, one sleeping pill, then two, then

three, but nothing worked. “I got so mad
about not dozing off that I just gulped a
whole handful. I don't know how many
That knocked me out for sure. But 1
didn't mean to Kill myself. Jesus, I'm not
that far gone.

Marilyn’s self-confidence suffered an.
other serious setback in the summer of
1961. For a long time, she had been hav.
ing problems with her digestion. I had
thought all her burping came from the
champagne bubbles. Instead, it was her
I bladder, She went into surgery to
have it removed. Although the operation
was a success, the scar on the right side of
her stomach seemed to shatter her whole
view of herself. Her white, creamy skin
had never had a blemish before, and now.
there was this nasty-looking gash.

Tn addition to the scar, Marilyn began
to sce a lot of other things she had never
noticed before. First, her breasts. She
used то take pride in how firm they were.
Now she decided that they were getting
flabby. She discovered tiny stretch marks
there and оп her backside, probably
from the gaining and losing of so much
weight. Her face was beginning 10 show

n occasional line. "Fm getting crow's-
feet!” she gasped. For the first time, she
could sense that she was growing older.
Ht terrified her.

On one trip from Hollywood, Marilyn
returned м es. This
was truly something new. The bras
weren't ordinary ones. They were really
just straps with the cups cut out. When I

sked her why she had bought them, she
explained that she was worried about her
breasts’ beginning to sag. She hoped
these would hold them up, and since they

h a bagful of brassi

“Don't eat one of them—they’re loaded
with additives and preservatives!”

were so skimpy, they were as close to
wearing nothing as she could get. After
about a week, she threw them all away.
She had also purchased a large number
of black and red lace panties. They never
got worn, either. Instead, she threw them

into a drawer, "for a special occasion
Marilyn had bought lots of new clothes
during this period. Because she had lost

weight, she fretted that she didn’t look
"sexy" enough. So she wore everything
tighter and tighter.
*
her 35th birthday, in April
уп told me, “Lena, this у
going to be better. 1 can fecl i
be my year.”

At first, it seemed that she was right,
that the year ahead was going to be hers.
A couple of months after her birthday
she told me that she thought Frank Sina-
та going to marry her. He hadn't
sked her, but her intuition was usually

"He's almost ready,” she
ed in triumph,

Things got worse when Marilyn found
thit Sinatra was poing out with
Juliet Prowse, a stunning dancer from
South Africa. who was only in her 20s.
His apparent preference for a younger
woman drove Marilyn into a terrible
bout of insecurity. Without him, she saw.
herself has-been. She now began
ticizing all the young. blonde
on Marilyns" whom Hollywood was
grooming, she feared, to replace her. Sh
мау particularly harsh about Jayne Mans-
field, who she believed had had an oper:
tion то enlarge her breasts. “At least lm.
L" Marilyn said. But getting older
ificd her. She told me that she
had nightmares about being a Tite old
lady lone in asylum, locked in
cell. “I started with nothing. I'm going
to end up with nothing,” she wept.

the middle of May, Marilyn sang
Happy Birthday to President Kennedy at
a huge celebration the Democratic Party
ing at Madison Square Garden.
Kennedy family was another subject
of rumors, which Marilyn denied. It was,
and has been, frequently whispered tha
shc was having affair with President
Kennedy, or his brother Bobby, or boih.
Marilyn didn't get mad at these rumors,
though. She just laughed. The Kennedys
whom she had met through Sin ^s
friend. Peter. Lawlord, were "cute," she
said. She liked them because they were
funny and smart. But 1 remember her
insisting, "They're not my type. They're

of 1962,
r things
This

right.
п

Marilyn knew very little about politics,
and cared less. Because she didn't read
the paper or listen to the radio, she never
knew the Bay of Pigs invasion had oc-
curred. 1 remember telling her what a
wonderful President John Kennedy was
All she could say was, “Well, he doesn't
look like a President.

She got to know the Kennedys fa

Smooth, but with alot of spirit."

Her name was—well мете not sure. And she
appears to have been the only other love Two Fingers
had besides his tequila.

“It's her spirit I capture in the tequila I make. It is
soft but, oh, so passionate," he reportedly said.

She traveled with Two Fingers as he brought the
taste of this special tequila —Two Fingers Tequila —
north of the border.

And then, without warning, they both disap-
peared leaving behind only the passionate taste of the
'Two Fingers Tequila we enjoy today.

Send for our free recipe booklet: Two Fingers Tequila, P.O. Box 14100, Detroit, MI 48214

Walker & Sons, Inc., Peoria, IL, Tequila, 80
Proof. Product of Mexico. 750 mi (25.4 fl. oz.)

PLAYEOY

My father gave me a whole sports file

only

| „апа FREE

24" ore Sports Cards

if you answer right away |

for. „5100

When one loves sports, one is never too
young or too old for the big Sportscaster
File. If you enjoy watching the big sports
events, the interviews of your favorite
Stars, then Sportscaster Cards!" are made
for you.

They will help you to know the fine points
of your favorite sports, to discover new
Sports, to understand the career, the rise

. . and fall of the champions, the teams,
the managers. With Sportscaster Cards
you will follow the development of new
techniques, new equipment, new training
methods. You'll watch record after record
being broken. You'll know, and feel, part
of the wonderful, exciting. challenging
world of sports.

Sportscaster Cards are a convenient and
economical way to have at hand the in-
formation you always wanted to look up.

Return the gift coupon, and we'll send you

the complete starting kit de-
scribed above. And so that you'll.
be able to get an even better
idea of the beauty and value of
Sportscaster Cards we'll enclose
FREE a second complete set of
Cards—all without any purchase
obligation whatever!

If after examining it all you are not satis-
fied that you want to start collecting
Sportscaster Cards, you simply return
everything and your dollar will be promptly
refunded, Otherwise you get to keep it all:
* TWO Sets of Sportscaster Cards * the
filing case * all the filing cards you need
and all accessories—for just ONE dollar.
Yes, everything—worth over $9.00—is.
yours for only $1.00, and you'll then re-
ceive — for just as long as you wish — new
Sportscaster Cards at about monthly inter-
vals under the convenient subscription
plan described in the gift coupon below.
And youre free to cancel your subscrip-
tion any time, simply by writing.

Send in your Gift Coupon today. There's no
purchase obligation.

Here's the whole history of sports, up to
date, on sturdy, colorful cards. On the front
a fascinating color photograph; on the
back an authoritative text, concise, com-
plete, accurate, written by professional
sportscasters, editors, and journalists.

* Yesterdays and todays champions + the
big moments of sports * the famous
matches and competitions * all the world’s
fascinating sports * table of records + the
fine points of the rules ~ training methods
* the equipment of teams and champions
* a filing system to fit your interest * big
colorful cards to last for years.

r-—- e
Sportscaster Cards, P.O. Box 1209, Piscataway, N.J. 08854, Dept. S1431
Please send me your introductory gift of the FREE filing case with all
index cards and accessories, along with my first complete set of 24
Sports Cards for just $1.00, Also include an extra set of 24 Sports Cards
FREE as my bonus for promptness.

If not delighted I'll just return everything within 10 days and get my dol-
lar back. But if 1 decide to keep this introductory shipment, you may then
send me on approval, for as long as | wish, at least one new set of Sports
Cards per month, so that my collection can grow very quickly.

For future sets | decide to keep, | need pay only the low subscribers
price of $2.23 per set of 24 cards (plus РЕН).

1 may terminate my subscription anytime, merely by writing.

ONE: E Г SAVE COD CHARGES, enclosed $1.00
OI shall pay postman $1.00 plus COD charges

by subject matter
2 >ч by kind of sport

Alphabetically

if you answer
tight away

JUST FOR THE FUN OF IT-
TRY GAMES.

The magazine you play with a pencil.

If your competitive juices flow when you
tackle a crossword puzzle — or an intricate
maze...if you can't resist the challenge
of unscrambling words—or deciphering
hidden codes...if you're addicted to
solving logic puzzles — or eyeball
bender photo quizzes...if you'd
love to find that you're a winner ina
not-too-easy contest (and that
you've won a Polaroid SX70 or
Electronic Calculator or a
Digital Watch)...

If you enjoy performing
magic with your mind and
learning to play new Һ
games— youre a player! IR

And the name of the

CALL TOLL FREE
800-247-5470

Please send me 1 year (6 issues) @
of Games Magazine for only...
(а 20% saving off the $7.50 cover price.) ©

TT
NAME ==

AODRESS

era,
ies ex ed zd aw STATE zP
эне
О Payment enclosed ОВ! me later JBPL5
С Save even more! 2 years for only $9.97.
(а 3% saving off the $15.00 cover price.)

Allow 4-8 weeks for delivery of first issue. For foreign orders
add $1.00 per subscription year.

Des Moines, lowa 50340

wees equos HONS VBA S
— BOYS — BUOUS — BUUS — SUIS — SUID — suiog — suo =
— sa0 — $300 — 1810D — NOL — әнін SWVHOUSOQV) 'SH3MSNV.

The good life isn’t everything.
Just most things to some people.

For the Playboy reader, the good life begins with
luxe back issue binders that each keep six months
worth of Playmates tidily tucked into an Antique
Tan leatherette cover. Unabashedly embossed with
PLAYBOY and the Rabbit emblem they make a
sleek and handsome addition to your personal
library of what's what, who's who, and what to do.

If good music means the good life...it matters not
whether your zenith of “good” means the most
acidic of rock or the most mellow of mood music.
It's all there in your back issues.

If good movies mean the good life...save your
times for the good ones. Each month Playboy
reviews the stellar releases for the silver screen with
pithy insights and considerable punch.

If good reading means the good life...the names to
watch in fiction and non-fiction bring you the world
you know and several you don't. They're as close
as your easy chair.

You'll want to order several binders. Catch up (for
certain) and order an extra for ample growing room.

How to order your Playboy Binders!

A single binder (LRO198), which holds six issues, is
available at $5.50 each; or buy two (LRO199) for
just $10.00. Please add shipping and handling
charges as follows: Orders up to $10.00, add $1.30;
on orders from $10.01 to $25.00, add $2.50; from
$25.01 to $50.00, add $3.50; over $50.00, FREE
shipping and handling. Illinois residents, add 5%
tax. Make your check payable to Playboy Products
(no C.OD. orders, please). Or, if you prefer, you
may charge your binders to BankAmericard (Visa),
American Express or Master Charge. However, be
sure to include the card number, validation and
expiration dates.

Playboy Products
Dept. PP226
P.O. Box 3386
Chicago, Illinois 60654
NOTE: Prices subject to change without notice. ©

better at parties that Lawford gave. Sin:
tra and his friends such as Lawford, Dean
Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. had been
very active in helping Kennedy get
elected and he, in turn, was a close friend
of theirs. The Kennedys seemed to enjoy
the movie world and their base in Holly-
wood was Lawford's house. Lawford's
was also one of the only places Marilyn
ever visited out in California.

She spoke much more about John Ken-
nedy than about Bobby. If he didn't
look like her idea of a President, he
didn't act like one, either. At least around.
Marilyn. He was always telling her dirty
jokes, pinching her and squeezing her,
she said. “That big tease,” she laughed
affectionately. She told me that President
Kennedy was always putting his hand on
her thigh. One night, under the dinner
table, he kept going. But when he dis-
covered she wasn't wearing any panties,
he pulled back and turned red. "He
hadn't counted on going that far," Mari-
lyn grinned,

Marilyn couldn't figure out why the
fun-loving President would be married to
the woman she called “the statue.” "T
bet he doesn't put his hand up her
dress," she smiled. “I bet no one does.”

Marilyn had other idols in her life who
meant more to her. She often listened to
Sinatra tunes while standing dreamily in
front of DiMaggio's picture. One day, I
went into her room to hang up some
clothes, but I couldn't get anywhere near
the door of the big walk-in closet. In the
closet doorway stood. Marilyn, naked, as
usual, even though the morning was cool
and damp. One of her favorite records,
All of Me, was playing on the record
player near the bed and she swayed
gently in time with Sinatra's voice. She
seemed to be looking at DiMaggio's pic-
ture, but her eyes had the faraway ex-
presion I had seen in them many times
when Marilyn had been unhappy. Not
wanting to disturb her private thoughts,
I turned to walk out of the room.

"Don't go," Marilyn said, taking me

nd DiMaggio had once been
friends, but Sinatra evidently said
things to DiMaggio that made
with jealousy. “I'm not sure ex-
what Fran! told him,” Marilyn
He was lots better friends with Joe
than he was me. Frankie

with

then
probably just wanted to tease Joe and

figured Joe wouldn't take it too seriously.
But Joe couldn't stand it when anyone
laughed at him, so he probably let
Frankie e it but good. That was it for
their friendship."

After her divorce from DiMaggio was
finalized їп 1954, Marilyn had gone to
live at Sinatra's house until she could
settle on a new place of her own. “Frank-
ie and I had gotten to know each other a

lot better," she said. Unlike DiMaggio,

Sinatra never discouraged Marilyn in her

screen ambitions. In fact, he used all his

influence to help her. "It wasn't rcally

anything," Marilyn said of the relation-

ship, "but it drove Joe crazy, plain crazy.
.

Marilyn had believed that massages
were a great way to keep her weight
down. Accordingly, after Miller had
moved out, she employed a tall, dark,
good-looking man to give her massages.
He wasn't muscular, the way I thought
masseurs were supposed to be, though
Marilyn assured me, "He has the best
hands in the world.”

Her massage routine was an odd one.
The man would come about six in the
morning and would be finishing up about
the time I arrived for work. The exercise
would take place on a table in Miller's
old study, which was now Marilyn’s
"gym." Like Miller, Marilyn began keep-
ing the doors closed. When I came in, I
would hear crazy giggling and screeching,
from both Marilyn and the masseur.

I noticed that she always had taken a
bath before these sessions and had
drenched herself with perfume, She
would emerge from the study hot, sweaty
and naked, though she never bathed
afterward, She just went to bed and slept
till lunchtime. Then she awoke with the
biggest appetite. “If you get massages,
you'll never need another sleeping pill,"
she laughed. "I'm so-oo relaxed." The
masseur would usually have a cup of cof-
fee before going home. He looked ex-
hausted, yet he never lost his big smile.

Still another of Marilyn's male friends
was her Italian chauffeur, who could

been a stand-in for Rudolph Valentino.
Marilyn loved his dark costume and cap,
and she referred to him as The Sheik. She
would frequently invite him up for cham-
pagne and would ask him to take her for
rides, cven when she had nowhere to go.
‘The chauffeur, whose name was Johnnie,
e that

isted that the service
assign Johnnie as her driver.

After Miller left, Marilyn used the lim-
ousine service less and less. The Sheik,
however, continued his frequent visits.
But now he came to see Marilyn as a
friend, not an employee. Sometimes
they'd lock themselves up in her room
for the whole afternoon. Marilyn would
usually dress up in a tight black cocktail
dress, put on make-up for him and have а
big tray of caviar and champagne set out.
for his enjoyment. Again, the squealing,
laughing and other noises filled the
house, but Marilyn never said anything
about Johnnie to me. She just winked
when he left and I winked k.

She could sit for hours, talking about.
movic stars and other men she knew, rat-

g them on their sexiness and dreaming
about what it might be like to be their
girlfriend. When chatting about her early
Hollywood days, she told me that she
would have slept with almost anybody
who asked her, regardless of what their
looks were. The only requirement
was that they be “nice.” “If it would
make them happy, why not? It didn’t
hurt. I like to see men smile.”

She did admit that she had preferences,
though. At the top of the list were older
men whom she could pretend were her

“I don't think you're kinky, Edna.
I think you're just lazy.”

213

PLAYBOY

214

An amazingly simple surgical hair replacement
procedure that is 100% tissue compatible, and is
guaranteed.

CLOSED SYSTEM No foreign material, su-
tures. prblene. wires. retainers or synthetic hair
are embedded and left in the scalp, with risk of
infection.

~ PLASTIC SURGEONS Two internation-
ally known surgeons helped to develop this ad-
vanced technique of anchoring hair to the scalp
by using skin grafts that will last a lifetime.

For complete information pius exciting booklet
with 36 actual colour photographs, write tothe
location of your choice.

Name.
Address.

YOUR OWN SCALP Part the hair andsee

your own scalp.

UNDETECTABLE hair that looks so natural
it appears to be growing from your scalp. It's not,
but you'll be the only one that knows.

More and more professional people, politicians,
doctors, etc., are discovering this unique fool-
proof method that overcomes the disadvan-
tages of all previous hair replacement methods,
both medical and non-medical.

Tel. (212) 832-6801
Lock Inernaronat Enterprises tn
Sie 400 300 Verigomey Siret.
Sanfranesco Сабота USA S4104
Tenis 788.7171

Ste 247 500 Unon Steet ч
Seate Washgion. ОЗА 98101

Те (20616828972

Lock mternavonat Enterprises in.
Ste 612.1177 West Hasings Steet
Varenuver BC Canada VBE 2K)

Tel (6043 682 Sê

INTERNATIONAL
VTERPEISES ING

From Italy . . The Ultimate in

HISTORIC SHIP
REPLICA KITS

Frame and Plank Construction

World famous SERGAL and
MANTUA kits: large magnificent
replicas (up to 51" long) with.
beautiful walnut planking and com-
ponents and cast-brass details.
Virtually museum pieces wheo
completed. Large-scale plans, En-
glish instructions, all materials in-
cluded. Also, hundreds of other
superb Italian kits, plans and ac-
cessories.

‘Send for 116-pg full-color catalog,
only $3, retunded with first order.

MAIL THIS COUPON TODAY!

MODEL EXPO, INC. Dept. PB-5
230 Second St., Dunellen, NJ OBBI2

lease send iui color сайак
53 check enclosed. En

Address
City

State Zip mes
m-—-—— €um momo mom mo mom

1 LI
Li 1
LI LI
f мт I
1 I
1 LI
k d

SatinShects

Order Direct from Manufacturer
Machine Washable: 12 colors: Black,
Royal Blue, Brown, Burgundy, Bone,
Gold, Lt. Blue, Navy, Red, Sunflower,
White, Mint Green. Set includes: 1
flat sheet, 1 fitted sheet, 2 matching
pillowcases.

Twin Set ....524.00 Queen Set .. $33.50
Full Set ....$29.50 King Set ......$39.50
3 letter monogram on 2 cases - $3,00

Add $2.00 for postage & handling
Immediate shipping on C.O.D., Money
Orders and Credit Cards: American
Express, Visa and Mastercharge ac-
cepted. Include Signature, Accouht
Number & Expiration Date. Checks
accepted,

FOR RUSH, RUSH ORDERS
Call 201-222-2211
24 Hours a Day, 7 Days a Week
М. J. & N. Y. Residents add Sales Tax.

Royal Creations, Ltd.

Opt. [ТЇ 330 Fifth Ave.(3308) New Yerk, NY 10001

father. They didn't have to be handsome,
“just warm and strong like a father could
be.” When I asked her if she could sleep
with any man in the world. whom she
would choose, she didn't hesitate а sec-
ond. "Clark Gable, id, and then
started to cry.

Aside from older men, Marilyn loved
strong, dark Italians. She said that she
liked men who took charge, told her
vhat to do, dominated her. "That's why
Frankie and Joe are so great, They're the
boss. They run the show. I'm not very
aggressive, but they sure are.”

In the early summer of 1962, Marilyn
was in а good mood. Her mind was less
on former lovers or her career than оп
the new man in her life, José Bolanos, a
Mexican screenwriter. She was besieged
with proposals for plays. for Las Vegas
shows, for night clubs, for movies. There
was too much. She couldn't make up her
mind.

She flew back to Los Angeles to be close
to José, who, she said, flew up very often
to be with her. She didn't want anyonc
to know very much, if anything, about
their affair. Publicity, she felt, had ruincd
things with both DiMaggio and Miller.
“José doesn’t want to be part of а side
show. He'd leave if he was. 1 know him.”
She said that in California they rarely
went out and never to places where she'd
be recognized. They would go to her
house, his hotel or a drive-in restaurant
or movie in some distant part of L.A., or
to a beach at night. Anywhere to be
alone, out of tlie public eye.
privacy seemed to be effective.
ır the end of July, Marilyn flew home
to New York for a couple of days with
exciting news, “He asked me to marry
him. I can't believe it.” I kissed her and

gratulated her with all my heart, "I
don’t know what to Her big smile
vanished, as she thought for a long while.
“Well, we haven't really about
what José thinks of my career, where he
wants to live. Lena, he's even more jeal-
ous than Joe. He might want me to get
out of movies, too. Wouldn't that be
something? And what if I had to live in
Mexico? What am I going to do? I love
him.

Marilyn's trip to New York was taken
up with some business meetings, clothes
purchases and sleeping. “There’s no other
bed like this one. I just can't sleep the
same out there, I'll be so happy to get
back here for good.”

I stayed with Marilyn late cach night,
making her different kinds of pasta and
veal dishes. “You could starve to death
out there,” she said, wishing that I could
be with her in California. She had a
housekeeper, an older woman whom her
psychiatrist had recommended, but Ma
lyn didn't fecl at ease with her. “Sh
like a spy for him. Watches me all the

she

conj

Stress
can rob you
of vitamins

Stress can deplete your body's
stores of water-soluble vitamins.
Your body absorbs two kinds of vitamins
from the food you eat, fat-soluble and
water-soluble. The fat-soluble vitamins
are accumulated in substantial reserves
in body tissues. But this is not true

of the water-soluble vitamins, B-complex
and C, and daily replacement through
proper diet is considered necessary even
when you're well. When your vitamin
needs are increased by stress, your body
may use up more Band C vitamins than
your usual daily meals provide. During
times of continued stress— when your
body may be affected in many ways—a
vitamin deficiency can develop.

What is stress. Severe injury or
infection, chronic overwork, too many
martini lunches, fad dieting—any
condition that places an unusual
demand upon your body constitutes
stress and may cause B and C vitamin
depletion, if the diet is inadequate.

Why many doctors recommend
STRESSTABS" 600 High Potency
Stress Formula Vitamins.
STRESSTABS 600 has a single
purpose: to help you correct aB complex
and C vitamin deficiency. With 600 mg.
of vitamin C, and B-complex vitamins,
high potency STRESSTABS 600 can
help restore your supply of these water-
soluble vitamins and help maintain good
nutritional balance. STRESSTABS 600
also contains the U.S. Recommended
Daily Allowance of Vitamin E.

Also available: STRESSTABS 600

with Iron.

Talk to the experts about
STRESSTABS 600. Ask your doctor
and pharmacist what they think of this
different brand of vitamin. Available,
without a prescription, at your drug
stores in bottles of 60 tablets or trial
bottles of 30. STRESSTABS 600 can't
eliminate stress, but it can help you to
maintain the nutritional balance you
need.

STRESSTABS 600 and
STRESSTABS 600 with Iron
are products of

Lederle Laboratories. 700.682 л.

216

Our
shampoo
checks
the
oil.

RK Deep-Cleansing Shampoo
is for oily hair that's tough

to keep clean. It lathers up and
works hard so hair stays
cleaner longer.

Yet its acid balanced
formula of milk amino acids
and non-greasy emollients
is easy on hair. Easy enough
to use everyday. Safely.

Look for it in the hands of
the pros. Knowledgeable
barbers who use and sell
RK products. RK Deep-
Cleansing Shampoo.

Its the way to
check the oil.

You can trust the 3000 salons
dedicated to the RK promise:
good looks based on science

A division of Redken Laboratories

Canoga Park, Calif. 91303

time; I bet she reports on me. She's

creepy," Marilyn said. "I could never be

friends with her. Oh, it's so lonely out

there. If it wasn't for José and the
or E

yn didn't take a. pill during her
entire visit, though she did drink more
champagne than usual. She was nervous,
very nervous, about what to do about
Bolanos. As she was going through her
closets, she saw the picture of DiMaggio
and suddenly began weeping. "If it
could have only worked out. ... Why,
why didn't it? I's insane . . . two people
who love each other and won't get mar-
ried. Maybe if I wait, Joc'll . . . but if he
doesn't, then José might leave .. . and
there E am again, with zero. And getting
older every day.” The champagne kept
llowing. “Oh, this is so mixed up. I don't
know,"
I suggested that maybe if she told
їо about José, Joe might finally
"Never?"

he'd say. He'd call
a gigolo or something awful. Joe
doesn’t think any man can love me except
him. He's my best fr
don't want to lose hı
lose José. I don't. want to lose
Oh, help me, somebody," she cried, hug-
ging her pillows to her chest.

“What about the psychiatrists?" I asked.
“I thought they could help.”

“No. They're just getting me more con-
fused. Sometimes I think they're full of
shit. You were right, Lena. I don’t need
. I need a mar
" I urged her. "He's not
rushing you, is һе?”

Not really. But he's so moody, he
could change his mind tomorrow. I never
know whar's with him. You're right. We
сап wait. If he loves me, he'll м
Won't he

"I said.

Marilyn may have been mis
she certainly wasn't unl . When she
left in her white-cotton p: nd blouse,
she looked like a beautiful girl in her
was bouncy, her nails
ad the beginnings of a
a tan from sitting around her
pool She had told me that her nude
pictures were going t0 be in PLAYBOY.
[Janvary 1961.] She loved it.

"Tl never be fat again,” she laughe
‘It doesn’t pay.” She gave me a long
embrace while we waited for the elevator.
"FH probably be back sooner than you
think. . . with lots of good news, I hope.
Wish me luck." I did, kissing her cheek.
І kept thinking of how beautiful she
how she had overcome all her Перг
sions. Her career looked great. She was in
love. She high spirits. The last flash
of white into the elevator and a softly
whispered "Bye" as the door slammed,
that was it. I would never see Marilyn
again.

NuForm* Ѕепѕі-Ѕһаре? is
an innovative, scientific
achievement in male con-
traception. NuForm's
specially designed shape
allows for greater free-
dom of movement inside
the contraceptive . . . for
better, more natural sen-
sation for each of you.
-You'll both see the dif-
ference in NuForm's
flared shape and pleasing
tint. You'll also feel the
difference never before
experienced in a male
contraceptive. Electron-
ically tested NuForm
comes in achoice of lubri-
cated or non-lubricated.
Available in drugstores.

ом od
PROPPYLACPCQNN sito!

Free Sample Offer—
We would like to send you Free
samples of the scientifically de-
signed NuForm, both Sensitol”
Lubricated and Non-lubricated
forms, plus our booklet
“There's a great new form of
contraception you should know
about.” Send your name,
address and zip code with 25¢
for handling to:
Schmid Products Co.
PO. Box 2256, Dept. B
Hillside, N.J. 07205

Also available in Canada.

We took the sha
and made it the

The whole idea behind spas is to do
something nice for your body.
Unfortunately, the straight-sided, flat
seats foundin most spas can hardly be
considered comfortable.

That's where a Hydro-Spa whirlpool
is different. Our patented designs
feature beds, seats and lounges that.
are scientifically sculptured to gently
cradle your body.

Lay back and relax. You'll enjoy
maximum support and comfort while
swirling hot water and soothing air
bubbles massage your whole body like
a thousand gentle thumbs. You сап
also use it as a cool pool for children's
play or a refreshing summer soak.

Master Dealers listed at bottom.
For additional dealers phone or write
Corporate Headquarters at address right.

of your
ape of our spa.

Hydro-Spa whirlpools are available INR UR анале аат as ?
ina wide variety of colors and models b er d
for easy installation outdoors or 5
indoors. (Many units fit through
standard doorways for installation
indoors, including basements and
recreation rooms). In addition, their
quality fabrication and energy-saving
design makes them very economical
to operate.

Do something nice for your body.
Visit your Hydro-Spa dealer today.
Do-it-yourself installation classes
available!

Corporate Headquarters: 7011 Hayverhurst Ave.
Van Nuys, CA 91406 (213) 786-6603.

Southern States: Hydro-Spa of Fla., Inc.

6220 S. Orange Blossom Trail, Bldg. 609
Orlando, FL 32809 (305) 859-9141

San Francisco-San Jose Area:

Admiral Spas, 1024 Morse Ave.
Sunnyvale, СА. (408) 744-0700
Minois Б Wisconsin

Benson Swim World, Rockford IL.
206 N. Water St. (B15) 964-9000
Kansas & Missouri

VP Enterprises. Merriam KS.

5040 Antioch (913) 764-0060
Phoenix, AZ. Master Pools

6031 N. 16th St. (602) 263-7630
Buena Park, CA. Jack Lalanne
8725 Orangethorpe. (714) 521-1044

Palm Desert, CA. Jet Spa of CA.
73754 Highway 111. (714) 564-1107
San Diego, CA. Spa World

6121 Mission Gorge. (714) 280-4181
Santa Barbara, CA. Santa Barbara Spa
2919 De La Vina. (805) 682-2030
Lawndale, CA. Hydro-Spa Center
16301 Hawthorne Blvd. (213) 370-5533
Van Nuys. CA. Leisure Spa World
6265 Sepulveda Blvd. (213) 782-9311
Ventura, CA. Рабо & Spa Center

2 West Main St. (805) 643-5020.
Denver, CO. Viking Sales.

5273 W. 48th Ave. (303) 458-7084

Ft. Lauderdale, FL. Fia. Viking Sauna
1024 N.E- 43rd St. (305) 565-8292
Orlando. FL. Spa 'n Sauna World
1000 N. Magnolia (305) 841-7520
Bloomington IN. AA Spa Center
4011 S. Hwy. 37 (812) 824-4550
Honolulu, HL Island Hot Tubs

1246 Kapiolani Blvd. (808) 537-4449
Boston, MA. (Acton) Northeast Spa
781 Main St. (617) 263-2970
Farmington, МІ. Leisure Spas

28731 Grand River (313) 477-1640
Golden Valley, MN. Leisure Environments.
8620 7th Ave. North. (612) 546-4047

Las Vegas. NV. Paradise Pools

2995 S. Highland. (702) 734-8161

New York City, Baths International

101 Park Ave. (212) 532-1262

W. Carrallton, ОН.

Ohio Spa (513) 294-0875

‘Oklahoma City, OK. Oklahoma Spa & Bath
7318 N. Western (405) 842-8596
Beaverton, OR. Prestige Pools

11495 S.W. Canyon Rd. (503) 643-7621
Dallas, TX. Texas Spa E; Bath Warehouse
2515 Farrington (214) 742-9543

Tacoma, WA. Spa & Sauna Dist.
3820 Pacific Ave. (206) 264-4500

217

PLAYBOY

ACTING OUT coun jon pee 12)

“Rosenblum: ‘Both men and women wanted to make
love with an alien. I don’t mean а wetback.’”

The really imaginative ones would add a
Korean or a Japanese.”

Proportionately, G & R weeded in
more female scenarios than male. So the
film came out about even. This, I sus-
pect, was done at least partly to attract
the Cosmo film audience. Rosenblum:

Female fantasies were more interesting.
The most common ones were some sort
of bondage rape thing and nonobserved
public sex. Like getting laid standing up
in a crowded elevator or in an invisible
bubble in Central Park. Also, both men
nd women wanted to make love with
n alien, 1 don't mean a wetback. Prob-
lem is, if it's an alien from outer space,
you have to question his or her sexual
identity."

Well, the whole thing got put through
a colander or something and 19 "repre-
sentative” head treks were scummed off.
G & R then had to sign up their resident.
company of porn actors—four female,
three male—all with experience in im-
provisation; which, for porn actors,
meant that they could talk without be-
coming impotent. There was to be no
ehearsal no script. Actor or actors
would meet with the fantast and go at
it hammer and dongs: a one-day stand.

caused noticeable confusion and
letdown. The porn stars weren't cent
cut meat; moreover, they didn't look
ke Suzy in first grade or whomever.
Modest sets, built about as expensively
as an Our Gang tree house, were not
quite up to what the spendthrift mind,
that follower of Cecil B. De Mille, could
struct. Still, this budget spontaneity

tension mind obviously
not within the foul lines, had the follow-
im: to drive his fist up а wo
an’s—how shall I put it—up her process
of elim: n. "Em trying for width,
not depth," he told Gurevich reassu
ingly. "Ehe actress will go into this cold;
and dry. You see surprise, then horror,
skirmish with professional pride across
her face. Suddenly, he begins to hit with
Llib savageness. A moment of unnery:
ing reality. Curevich's is not
explicit in the physical sense. But fear
and insanity, bare-ass, can be X-rated
enough.

"There were 33 feet of film shot to
every one foot used; С & R's cutting-
room floor must be near its ceiling by
now. "We let a fatigue factor
easiness. We kept the cameras оп so
people wouldn't feel they had to perform
on cue. But you'd be surprised how

camera

create

218 quickly they lost the camera and just did

ir thing." And Gurcvich's own fan-
“My fantasy is the film." Come on;
he want to do anything? "Listen,
if I owned a restaurant, would I eat
there?"

Put your hands down; I can guess the
question. Is it fulfilling to do home
movies of your head? Uh, yes and no
and maybe. About one third of the par-
е enraptured by the experi-

one third were unsure.
4 were totally chopped
e 10 make
а useful distinction, a distinction that
+ & R, apparently, did not perceive.
There are fantasies and there are com-
monplace, scratch-my-scab lusts. For con-
venience, I will define fantasy as an
innate, idiosyncratic, surreal and some-
what structured minidrama. Now, group
one—those who were left in transports
of raunch—did not, by my standard,
achieve the fantastic. For example: (A)
One 63-year-old civil servant opted for
straight sex with any warm young thing.
(B) One man had a gang-bang in mind
for his wife (by the New York Jets—she
had to settle for three men from G & R's
specialty team). (C) Her opposite num-
ber was a black kid who wanted to bang.
a female gang. Hell, if these are mature.
fantasies, there isn't man- or womanjack
of us who hasn't had them. They're not
idiosyncratic or personal at all; they're
in the public domain—you don't even
have to pay a royalty. Nor are they sur-
real. If I wanna play piston and cylinder
with three women, all I have to do is
pick up the classified section of Screw,
rip off eight tens and make an appoint-
ment with my dap doctor in айу:
What keeps me from doing that is im-
pecuniousness, not impossibility. Thes
are naive and uninteresting Thwarted
Desires; no more than that. In general,
those who acted out a T.D., with scant
personal revelation beyond the odd
patch of bare skin, were quite happy.
And why not? They got albexpense-

About
About one tl
up. And here, I suggest, we |

ence.

Fantasy has form and pacing, like a
Harry Langdon rou requi
practice, practice, practice, as even mas-
turbation needs timing and rehear
We're all better at it now—aren't wez—
than we were in high school. CI
are built to. With this difference:
you blow a line in fantasy, you can start
over again—stop/go, forward/back, Joe
Paterno reviewing one of his game films.
Furthermore, there is no unpleasi
sequence. No one ever got a

fantasy; no one ever asked himself, “Was
it good for me, too, dear?” Most impor-
tant, though: In fantasy, we can manipu-
late not just how we feel but how the
other person or persons feel. This is
crucial. Say your fantasy is to rape Aunt
Alice—you control your emotions (pow-
er, lust) and, inevitably, you control her
emotions (fear, humiliation) as well. Re-
member, a fantast is all the characters
his playlet at once: seducer and se-
duced, doctor and patient, 5 and M. I
don't want to upset you, but the mind,

even your mind, is a notorious cross
dresser.
But when fantast steps onto the film

set, that inner discipline will be abro-
gated: gone. Rude shocks hit. The actress
playing Aunt Alice has one breast no
bigger than a cyst; she smells from old
daiquiris; she doesn't scream on cue.
Structure and pacing won't line up
against the cross hairs. Also, anticipa-
tion—which has ever been more arous-
ig than climax—is dashed off; first draft
only, no returning to the good parts for
a fresh start. And, worse yer,
get your clam knife into Aunt Alice's
head: You can't be her. In Acting Out,
the single spectacular success story was
that of a man who wanted to couple
with himself. ("I love how I move. I
love the way I talk. I would love to make
love to myself even as а man. But if I
could transform myself into a woman—
oh, that would be good. The two sides
of me. I'm the best fuck I'll ever have.
Don't you see it? And on top of that, I
have perfect teeth.) Probably, he'd
sleep in twin beds, too. But you have it.
right there: the duality (or multiplicity)
that's characteristic of fantasy. АП G & К
d to do was slip Mr. Self five or si:
rrors and a cheap wig. He started,
like Mae West's friend, without them.
Truth is: He and himself had been in a
solid ménage à deux since childhood. At
least he didn't have to worry about get-
ting cuckolded.

But the rest was, as my mother would
pretty much like Niagara Falls: а
ppointment.
nce: Terri King hoped to flip-
side sexually —female—male—so that she
could blue-ball her gay boyfriend. Dulls-
borough, U The actor didn't re-
semble Mr. Fruit; she was mot a
persuasive male. This reaction would
predominate whenever there were pri-
vate events, dark and eccentric secrets,
involved. The most baroque fantasy—
nude-man-meets-wedding gowned-wom-
an-in-church-kisses-chases-
fishes-her-dead-out-ol-
on
(note
case of

-church-himself
again)—well, a
a blood bank
would've gone over with more panache.
“I couldn't rape you—because you put
up so much screaming. You were so be-
lievable that it isn't in me to rape at

Wejust

were

Consider the Sony
Audio PS-X70 turntable.

Think of it as a professional
transcription turntable, for home
use.Ata price your audio conscious
home can afford. Ё

Think about two discrete
servo-controlled motors. One for
the platter. Another for the
tonearm.

And while you're thinking
about motors, think about Sony's
hesitation-free BSL motor. No
brushes. No slots. And absolutely
no cogging. Just even, uniform
rotation. Hour after hour. Year
after year.

Our own Quartz-locked Mag-
nedisc servo control system makes
Sony direct-drive turntables im-
mune to voltage fluctuations. It
takes servo control to a new level
of accuracy, by measuring turn-
table speed at theouter rim of the
platter —not at the motor.

There's more you should know:
front-mounted feather-touch

cant

controls, electro

magnetic braking, special
four-clamp head-shell connector,
even resonance-free SBMC
cabinet with fluid-filled feet to
eliminate acoustic feedback.

But perhaps the most amaz-
ing thing about our PS-X70 is that
it’s not alone.

It's just the top of our line. A
whole line of new Sony Audio turn-
tables, most of which have most
ofthe features we've listed here.

And every one is designed as a
system. With electronic, mag-
netic, and mechanical technol-
ogies contributing to a balanced
level of audio performance no
single innovation could achieve.

We know about turntable inno-
vation. We practically wrote the
book: direct drive, servo control,

it when

ahead.

Quartz lock, carbon tonearm,
Sony gave you them all. Long before
almost anyone knew they existed.

But we also know that inno-
vation alone can't make a great
audio component. Sound makes a
great audio component.

Like the sound you get from
our PS-X70 turntable.

Quit, just because we're ahead?
Я Not Sony Audio. Not on your
ife.

SONY.
LDN

Sony Industries, 9 West 57th Street, NY., N Y. 10019.
Sony is a registered trademark of Sony Corporation.

PLAYBOY

that point. I became an actor doing my
own fantasy.” The truth will make you
soft. There's no place for Stanislavsky
а dream.

Or plot and tempo get refractory; out
of hand, hands. Marcia Blau l been
pushing her crocus up with a play-doctor
scene: Silent noncommittal men would
examine Marcia on some escapeless
emergency-room table. Yet, when done
ive, this menhandling chased her into a
rabbit panic: Fantasies don't come with
age. "It was asexual.
ing out a fantasy is not the same as
ng one. And having people be harsh
in fantasy is actually soft and sensuous.
The difference between keeping it in my
head and doing it was that no one could
be what I imagined him to be." What
she imagined him ... Marcia was her-
self and ап entire staff of doctors. In
fantasy, she could supervise her complete
physical. There was no unexpected cold-
finger probe.

And some pipe dreams in the film

wouldn't do a thing for your pipe or
mine: They're just plain goofy. Take the
Feather Man. He had that fat flatus of
an idea: to humiliate men wearing Pu
tan dress in the Salem town square circa
1675. How? Oh, he'd tickle their tines
with his feather until—bone-bent with
horniness—they ejaculated, one, two,
three, four, like the Rockettes. Strike out;
complete whiff. Nobody told him that,
his ingrown brain aside, few people are
tickled pink, let alone lust red, by that
scenario. The Feather Man is bitter,
irate; also shamed. You can be a pervert,
a creep in this society—that sort of life-
style might cven headline the National
Enquirer, But to be absurd, that’s em-
barrassing, “I’m very disappointed. I
think you should have gotten people
who were turned on by this. I think
that was your job, I told you my fan-
тазу." Turned on by a feather. You
could thumb through Headlock Ellis
from now to Botswana before you came
across that one.

“Would you agree to submit my proposition and your
blanket rejection to binding arbitration?”

The most mov
Husband and wife in a male-domination
scene, one that they had obviously re-
hearsed for years out of town before, so
to speak, mounting it on Broadway. He
(with evident manhood problems) would
be made erect by a stern mistress/nurse
type. In this case, through the long
relationship, they could interface roles
empathetically: control each other, con-
trol pacing and plot line. Not acted out
for the first time, by any means: They
had acted it out often enough before—
which, I think, is inconsistent with the
parameters that Gurevich had set up.
Nonetheless, on camera, he can't get it
hard. Desperate, terribly abashed, he
signals Cut! “I felt that I had someth
to prove. I've pimped in eve
house—Vietnam, Moscow, Madi
it for what it's worth. Believe it or not,
that's God's honest truth.” You have to
feel for the guy. And his missus will. On
screen, she is edging toward tears.
Whether from sympathy or exasperation,
Ileave up to you.

And, under each lech wi:
gorilla wearing a gorilla suit—
grand fantasy: 1 can put you in films,
sweetheart, bitionism. One transves-
tite (femme, please) man and one svelte
black woman (who simply wanted to
be the main distraction at a chic ball)
were ecstatic when they saw their altered
egos by projector light. Exhibitionism

vas sufficient for them: They got a rush

from the rushes, from style and ambi-
ence. But exhibitionism арр every
ase. The most common damp dream—
remember?—was nonobserved public sex.
Acting Out is that, with a fillip. In the
theater, they'll watch people watch
them: the sort of voyeurism you get
when you spy another eyeball peeping
back at you through a keyhole. It excites.
And, gosh, who wouldn't want to play
the Trans-Lux Even with an idioti
feather in one hand.

Acting Ош is instructive, genial, full
of double-take events. But it could [3
been a more significant film. The prem-
ise is valid, the approach not exploita
tive. Bul Бе СЕ R didn't, or
wouldn't, define fantasy in some consist-
cnt manner, we're left with
bread-and-chocolate-mousse salad.
exhibitionists, the opportunistic
rites, the T.D. performers upstage, out-
frame those few who risked exposing
abscess-tender parts of their psyche.

But the evidence that arriyes from
those few is painful, graphic. Imagina-
n can't survive a biopsy: The brain is

swe
тһе
syba-

your most erogenous zone. Erogenous
for its privacy and silent depth. We talk
a lot about coming out of the closet, No;

light is often overrated. Delicious things,
the truffles of the mind, grow best in a
dark, moist place.

And only L&M Long Lights
COMPARE give you the taste of 100%

L&M LONG LIGHTS | virgin tobacco! ZRF |
n С ЗА

“TAR” 20 Нит
CIGARETTE

Winston Longs 19
Winston Light 100s 13
Benson & Hedges 100s 17
Benson & Hedges 100s Lts. 11
Marlboro 100s 17
Marlboro Lights 100s 12
Golden Lights 100s 9
Pall Mall Gold 100s 19
Virginia Slims 16

Merit 100s 11

Vantage Longs 11

4.1 y |
LONG LIGHTS”

TASTE L&M LIGHTS. ONLY 8 MG.“TAR?

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

{| ONLY BM “Tag,

*Вазей on Maxwell Report, 1977.

221

Long Lights; 8 mg. "tar", 0.6 mg. nicotine; av. per cigarette, ЕТС Report (May 78].

PLAYBOY

has the Fujitsu Ten stereo.

It's easy to tell. Because we've put — blanker to eliminate ignition inter-

over 25 years experience into ference.
making our car stereo sound as We've powered it with 20 RMS
good as a home stereo. watts maximum (5 watts per chan-

For example, check out ourin- nel x 4) to assure low distortion at
dash GP-7881 AM/FM/MPX high volumes. If good music is

Auto-Reverse Cassette with important to you, a Fujitsu Ten car
Dolby. It has 5 pushbuttons that stereo should be too.

program 5 AM or 5 Write for more

FM stations. Plus fast- information on our
forward, locking re- complete line includ-
wind, and FM muting. ing speakers and for
Even a built-in noise the dealer nearest you.

The bests soundonwheels.

FEN FUJITSU TEN CORP. OF AMERICA
wY

‘Dolby is the trademark of Dolby Laboratories, lnc East Janis Street, Carson, СА 90746,

AUTHENTIC SPERRY TOP-SIDER’

CAN YOU IMAGINE CLIMBING
TOTHE TOP OF THE CORPORATE
LADDER FAKING IT?

There's really only one authentic Sperry Top-Sider, and
we can't imagine why youd want to take a false step in a pair
of look-alikes. Can you?

AUTHENTICITY HAS ITS OWN REWARDS:

Forfree catalogue, write to: Sperry Top-Sider, 20 Rubber Ave., Naugatuck, CT 06770

DAN RATHER

(continued from page 183)
are sexier than the women. Why is tha?
RATHER: Most of the sexy women—and
there are exceptions—are attracted to
the entertainment side of television. be-
cause it's easier [or them to make it in
those other areas. If you have a great
deal of personal attraction, it's easier for
you to be on Charlie's Angels. Broadcast
journalism remains a man's domain. Men
make the decisions. "Fhere's no joy in my
saying that, but that's the reality. It takes
such a long time for women to work up
Lets say а woman gets into journalism
and says to herself, Гуе got to prove my-
self as a reporter. So she does those

hings that it takes to prove one's self as
а reporter such as standing in the rain
outside the police station for ten or 15
years. After ten or 15 years of thar, it's
pretty hard to hold your complexion
together, honey, and pretty hard to keep
your figure. And by the time she’s 40,
they begin to say in the business, “Well,
old Jill is one hell of a reporter, but she
looks hard around the edges.” When they
say that about

2 compliment.

17.
PLAYBOY: What makes a woman sexy to
you?
RATHER: Intelligence. And experience.
Which is maybe why I find myself at-
tracted to somewhat older women. It's
very difficult for me to find someone in
her 20s sexy. In fact, I could almost make
the same case for a woman in her 30s.

18.
PLAYBOY: Name some high-profile wom-
еп you find sexy.
RATHER: Well, I think Rosalynn Carter
is sexy. One, she's intelligent; and, two,
I think she’s physically attractive. And
there's a gentleness to her that is very
ing. Also in the Carter Adminis-
n, T think that Juanita Kreps is а
very attractive woman. Now, Гус never
been around her, you understand, but
from a distance, she seems attractive, I'd
also h 10 include Connie Chung and
Lesle: l at CBS on the list.

19.
PLAYBOY: Are there any women outside
politics or the media you find sexy?
RATHER: Doris Lessing. Whyz Depth. A.
ic of depth. She's seen а lot. Again,
there's a certain silliness to this, because
I do not, in fact, know Doris Lessing. I
just feel I know her through her writings.
And then there's also Suzy Chaffee, the
skier. I don't know her, either, but she
exudes a tremendous energy and vitality.

20.
PLAYBOY: You've recently been named
one of the "most watchable" men in
Amen To what do you attribute this
honor?
RATHER: Oh, my animal magnetism, of

course.
Ba

А SAFE WAY
TO FIND OUT HOW MUCH
LIQUOR YOU CAN HOLD.

"te

Everybody knows you shouldn't drive when you've had too
much to drink: Unfortunately almost nobody knows what too much
to drink is.

According to Federal standards, you're legally under the influ-
ence of alcohol when you have .10% alcohol in your bloodstream.
Which means absolutely nothing to most people.

What does mean something is your weight, your physical
condition. the number of drinks you've had and how long it took yo
to have them

The combination of these factors can give you a more under-
standable way of knowing your drinking limit

That's why we, the makers and sellers of distilled spirits, offer
this Use it to help find out whether you're approaching,
up to, st your limit.

a lot safer than finding out on the road.

5 (DISCUS), 1300 Penn

KNOW YOUR LIMITS

CHART FOR RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE WHO MAY
SOMETIMES DRIVE AFTER DRINKING!

Subtract 01% for each 40 minutes of drinking,
‘One Drink is 1 oz. of 100 proof liquor or 1207. of beer.
THIS CHART IS ONLY A GUIDE—NOT A GUARANTEE.
SUREST POLICY IS... QON'T DRIVE AFTER DRINKING!

AN IRISH MIST
SETTLED OVER THE
EVENING.

The hills roll forever. The lakes radiate light.
The dew kisses each morning. The mist settles every
evening. You can taste it all, and more.

Irish Mist is the legendary, centuries old drink
made from all this and sweetened with just a wisp
of heather honey. Irish Mist can be enjoyed
anytime, or place, or way: on the rocks; neat; or
mixed with anything you like.

Itsa pleasing land. It's a pleasing drink.

IRISH MISI.
THE LEGENDARY SPIRIT.

HOT-SHOTS

(continued from page 136)
the mental netherland of automation
The electronic smarts of cameras, how-
ever, having evolved over just a few years,
are not as universal as the biological
counter ts that took a million times as
long. While your automatic system be-
haves according to a pl:
standardized throughout the species, dif
ferent cameras reflect the fact that at the
present stage there is still more than
one way to shoot a cat

Take exposure, the phenomenon that
has many people laboring under the
belief that photography is confusing. Just
se the bigger Ї numbers re
smaller openings, and just because th
arithmetic makes 11 half of 8, which is
half of nd so on, are not reasons to
construe anything mystical 10 exposure
Its really so simple that even а computer
сап figure it out—which one does rou-
tinely in some two«dozen fully automatic
35mm SLR models presently on the mar
ket. Their automatic settings supply the
utter simplicity of a snapshot cam
aim /focus/shoot being the quic

approved and

һеса

you-
say-it minimum necessary for technically
perfect pictures. Meantime, unlike the

Instamatics, the 35s provide the pre
and dı nt to the
most sophisticated picture-making instru-
ments ever made.

Interchangeable lenses (including fish-
сус, wide-angle, telephoto, зоот. per-
spectiveconuol, macrofocus and other
purpose optics), motorized film
throughhelens exposure me-
nd so forth, are the trappings
that accompany even the le.
smart 35s. With exposure automation
throws: in, they can command virtually
any shooting situation as fast as you can
press a button, yet they require from you
lile more mastery of photographic tech.
nology than did the old Brownie
That is partially because the latest
35mm models make their calculations
cording to what is called the center-
weighted system: The meter reads the
entire picture area but gives primary
emphasis to the central portion. The pre
sumption is that the snapshooter will
compose his shots with the main subject
in or about the center.

Thus, if you photograph a friend
standing in a р
dent that the camera will expose your
friend in the picture center, giving sec-
ondary consideration to the brighter sky
above and the darker soil below.

Center-weighted readings are also
called averaged readings, which some
aitics say is а euphemism for compro-
mise. But the compromise works in the
vast ma

rtistic flexibility attend

tering,

t expensive

К, you can be confi-

jority of circumstances to such an.
extent that some smart 35s dearly are
meant for fulltime automation. Manual
exposure overrides are feasible, strictly

puck bowi

“That’s enough of your putter, baby—use your driver!”

PLAYBOY

226

speaking, but the range of the photogr:
pher’s control is severely limited
several of the cameras. 7
has just three shutter spe
established nonautomatically, while the
Pentax ME and the Yashica FRAY each
have only one. And though the Minolta
XG-7 works with all of its shutter speeds
set manually, it does so without any
from its exposure meter, The use of the
XG-7's meter, and the full range of these
other cameras shutter speeds, are av:
able strictly for automatic operation.
But there are moments, such as at the
or end of the day, when shad-

the camera settings yourself, Thus, all

the smart 355 allow the photographer to
rride the auto exposure system.

sposure-correcrion dials are the most
common means of doing this: they in-
duce mediate recalibration, so t
the automatic exposure settings will be
correct for a subject in minority lighting.

Then again, you may want to delibe
ately misex pose a shot in order to achieve
l lighting effect, perhaps. For
that, you should switch to a semiauto-
matic mode of exposure setting and us
your builtin light meter to determine
the exposure settings that you'll make by
папа

How much latitude 10 amend auto-
ic exposure do you need? The answer
depends upon the kinds of things you
plan to shoot. If your objective is the
straightiorward documentation of your
fe and times, you can probably count
on unadulterated automatic seuings. But
if anything creatively more complex than
snapshots looms as a possibility. you
should consider cameras that have full
manual overrides.

While you're thinking about the sub-
jects you most often shoot, you should
k about the style of exposure au
I for, There are
two styles available aperture-priority au-
and shutter-priority automation.
aperture-priority camera, you
pick the aperture setting you want and
ihe exposure system causes the shutter
speed to slave to your choice. This can
be used to influence the appearance of
your pictures, for exposure is not the
only thing affected by aperture settings.
Depth of ficld—or the range from here
to there within which objects will be
focus—is more extensive at small aper-
ture settings, shallower at larger oncs
Sometimes it improves a picture to throw
the background out of focus, which can
be done by using a large aperture and its
nited depth of field. Aperture-priority
meras combine exposure automation
with this particular potential of user
control,

But there comes a time in every pho-
phers life when his pictures’ ap-
ravances benefit from his ability to
control the shutter. An example would

оу

a speci

In an

be an Indy 500, with cars zipping past at
Lord knows how [ast From the bright
sun of the open track, they may regularly
duck into the shadow of the grandstand.
Here you'll accept any depth of field you
п get (and a car that is in focus on that
side of the track will also be in focus on
this once a subject is mor a 20
feet away, all distances are equal as far as
most lenses are concerned), so shutter
speed becomes important. It must be fast,
Jest those speed demons outrun the cam-
era and become a blur on film.

That situation calls for a shutter speed
pre-established to be fast enough—maybe
1/1000 of a second—to freeze the action,
and a lens whose aperture obediently
gears itself to sui shutter
priority automation supplies.

In the hullabaloo between aperture-
priority and shutter-priority advocates,
the greater amount of nose thumbing
gets done by those who favor aperture
priority, for the greater number of manu-
facturers see things thc Only six
camera models shun aperture priori
three by Konica. two by Mamiya and
one by Ganon.

But what's that you say, vou can envi-
sion yourself working in situations that
I for aperture priority now, shutter
шеп? No problem. For though
most cameras oller one type of seting or
the other, at least two—the. Canon A-I
and the Minolta XD-11—offer both, se-
lected at your discretion.

The Canon А-1 also features an expo-
mode called Programed Exposure,
you folks who can't decide betwee:
г. Here the cam-

jority

su
for
one priority and апоци
era makes up its own mind about which
combination of aperture and shutter set-
gs suits various levels of light, The fact
that the method works well should a
ny anxiety about Big Brother being d.
livered to you in a black Бөх:

Smart cimeras seek their intellectual
juals in the accessories they work with,
and for that reason you will find various
makes of electronic flash units nearly as
clever. That is, they adjust their own
light output. How? Well, they make
some light and, while they are still mak-
ing it, they read some that has hounced
back from the subject. When they see the
right amount, they automatically turn
themselves off. The whole transaction
completed, you might say, at somethi

just under the speed of light

While electronic flash units arc merely
practical, motor drives (or autowinders)
also add to the romance of photography.
There is no question that the chunk-zitt
sound effects of a motorized SLR add
macho to picture taking; and few of even
the most devoted artistes would deny that
dressing for the part is some of the fun.
In the meantime, the motor drive auto-
matically advances the film when your
thumb is too weary to operate the man-
ualadvance lever. It also works nicely

when you must work one-handed, the
other hand being engaged in another
activity, such as hanging on to something
for dear life, Motor drives, in short, make
you seem a photographic man of action
at all times, and they let you be one
when you must, While motor drives are
accessories for most, a few
suggesting a new trend by
permanent motor drives. An adv
the integral motor is that it tends tow
а smaller over-all package than a camera
with an accessory motor attached to it
conta recently announced а motorized
pair whose proportions are only margin-
Пу different from those of their other-
wise similar, compact RTS model

Automatic cameras once were an odd-
ball breed distinct from regular 35s, but
now everybody's selling automatics, If
seal of approval were necessary, it came
in the form of the FE. the automatic
model from the standard-bearer of
35mmdom, Nikon—and the automatic
field itself has its own nonstandard em-
hellishments, The Leicaflex R-3, for ex-
ample. spot-metering system that is
interchangeable with the center-weighted,
so that a small central portion of the
scene can be the exclusive influence in
contrasty light. Meantime, the Olympus
OM-2 has two systems of metering, on
that sets the exposure just prior to snap-

the p e the others), the
nd taking over during the exposure
(in case the light changes during the frac-
tion of a second that the film is exposed).
Aside from such rogues, the general
methods of automatic operation are
along similar lines.

Photography is a technological arr
and, as such, its technological develop-
ments influence its artistic content. Motor
drives. for example, take the burden of
capturing the "decisive moment" off the
photographer and place it on the camera
It fires enough frames that the moment

cameras

has to be in there somewhere. The feei-
ing, summarizing expresion may the

fore become a more frequent sight in
cach lual's photography. Similarly.
several of the automatic cameras make it
easier to use extended time exposures of
one second or longer. An outcome may
be a more extensive exploration by pho-
tographers of nighttime and other low
light scenes, where lengthy exposures are
required.

"The real virtue of an automatic camera
is that it can adjust itself for spontaneous
action; п let you stay with the
action without need to fool with the cam-
era. It offers the closest-to-perfect imple-
ment to photographers who work in
journalist style seuings. If this describes
you and your shooting intentions, the
sayest advice is to buy an automatic са
era, keep an extra set of batteries on
hand and shoot merrily aw il such
time as cameras become even smarter.

Power. With distortion so low it's inaudible. That's not sur- .
prising. It’s Technics. Look at the chart. That's Technics too. Technics

Surprisingly good performance that comes as no surprise.

SA-i000| — 330watts 003% 362981 | 9708,

“ІНЕ 75 standard К
Of course, you expect the unexpected from Technics, and
with Acoustic Control that's just what you get. With the low-
boost switch and the bass control, you can add more punch
to bass instruments.While the treble high-boost switch
brings out the brilliance in both vocals and instrumentals.

Still, Acoustic Control is just one of many reasons to
buy a Technics receiver. Clean and stable amplification, even
under the most demanding dynamic conditions, is another.
Especially since each Technics receiver has direct coupling,
conservatively rated power supply capacitors, current mirror
loading and single-packaged matched dual transistors.

To avoid clipping and maintain dynamic range, you'll want
to keep an eye on what your ears can hear. And with our
highly accurate power meters, you can. LED's provide
peak power indication with extremely fast attack time.

For outstanding performance on FM, even from an over-
crowded band or a marginal signal, every Technics receiver
has Phase Locked Loop IC's, fiat-group delay filters and a
frequency response that's both fiat and wide.

Audition any of Technics five receivers. If their big power
and little distortion don't surprise you, their LED meters and
Acoustic Control will. Cabinetry is simulated woodgrain.

Only 5 receivers combine big power,
` little distortion, LED meters and Acoustic Control.
Technics makes them all.

PLAYBOY

228

LONG-DISTANCE EATER (continued from page 160)

“His entire world—his person, his aspirations, his
life—is concentrated into cach savory explosion.”

Jobster and crayfish tails with young
vegetables; casserole of chicken with
vegetables, basil, garlic and scattered
truffles; Georgess own special potato
pancakes; cheeses, sherbets and desserts.
There is a boule of white Burgundy,
followed by an exquisi red, a 1969
Grands-Echezeaux. Georges is bringing
out a bottle of sauterne to accompany.
the dessert when Didier holds up his
hand and waves it off.

"Too much is too much,” he says al-
most desperately. But that doesn't stop
Georges from popping open a bottle of
champagne after the meal is finished—
“just for a friendly drink together.”

By the time the champagne ceremony
is finished, it is nearly midnight. Didier
clambers up to bed with the leaden legs
all Frenchmen recognize as the sure sign
of too much wine, They have ап apho-
rism for such overindulgence: “White on
red, nothing moves anymore; red on
white, you're all through.” Didier is
through. He crashes into a deep slumber
and sleeps right through his breakfast
call.

DAY TWO

"Georges has made progress" Didier
concludes thé next morning, en route
south again. “His restaurant is better
than his uncle's. But I'm not sure he's

ready for the top yet. It's tough, to be
at the top.”

By half past noon, Didier is comfort-
ably installed on the sunny terrace of
Alain Chapel, formerly La Mére Charles
in Mionnay, drinking a cocktail of cham-
ispberry syrup. Once a mod-
tro (it was painted by Unillo in
1929), the restaurant is now a monument
to the cooking talent of Alain Chapel,
who is generally considered one of the
half dozen or so greatest chefs in the
world, Naturally, his restaurant sports а
crowned тей rooster in the Kléber and
three stars in the Michelin. Antoine, the
headwaiter, suggests a series of several
entrees, making it sound as simple and
easy as a hostess serving up stuffed celery
and crackers. Antoine is a master of un-
derstatement.

It begins while Didier is still out on
the terrace with the champagne: deep-
fried whitefish and baby sole hardly
bigger than artichoke leaves. It is what
the French call an amuse-gueule, or
“snout amuser,” their i
palate tickler. He moves inside for the
serious stulf, opening the hostilities with
a salad of sautéed fresh morel mush-
rooms (the season is only two or three
weeks long, and he is in luck with
timing) over crayfish tails with a buttery
sauce accented by a tiny point of

“The hell of it is, I don't even
write my own material."

With it he drinks a cold Brouilly, one
of the best of the Beaujolais growths. A
ragout of sea bass and red mullet fol-
lows, the two filets sitting on a bed of
chervil, spinach and Swiss chard. The
sauce for the sea bass is based on white
wine, the sauce for the mullet, on red.
Chapel is having fun playing with col-
ors. Didier devours them with a flat
spoon, making little guttural noises of
contentment.

At a table to his left, and at another
behind him, some serious sexual elec-
icity is crackling. For the couple be-
hind, the forma s of courtship have
obviously been terminated several nights
earlier. They are enjoying a duckling
as much as they enjoy cach other, ma
ing their lunch an erotic feast. The girl
is as soft and humid and warn as ап
oyster poached in champagne. To the
left, the relationship hasn't been con-
summated vet, but it clearly is about to
be, and it promises to be a good one,
too. He is a middle-aged business type
with a wallet full of money, a belly full
of champagne and a head full of self-
confidence; she looks remarkably young,
hardly more than 17 or 18, but thc deft,
fiecting touch of her hand on his check.
nd her knowledgeable use of the linger-
ing smile are masterful demonstrations
of the art of seduction as practiced by
what the French call a fausse Ise
virgin. She is in control, and she is
doing fine.

Didier continues chewing. Now it is
tender white asparagus, lukewarm, be-
tween delicate rectangles of flaky pastry,
with rooster kidneys and thick slices of
truffles, At this moment, his en
world—his person, his aspirations, his
life—is concentrated into this feuilleté
d'asperges and its hollandaise sauce, into
cach savory explosion of taste when he
bites through another rooster kidney.
You take your sensuous pleasures as they
come.

Gérard, the sommelier, pours a superb
red Burgundy, a Bonnes Mares 1971,
to his oversized snifter style glass,
ing care not to agitate or bruise it. Didier
destroys a duck-liver steak with sweet
turnips. When the checse table is rolled.
up, he opts for his sophisticated-peasant
act, ordering a plate of green leeks to
accompany his fresh goat cheese. His
meal ends with a simple lemon sherbet
and coffee, But not, of course, just any
coffee. It should be filter, he specifies,
and a mix of Colombian, Mocha and
Costa Rican: “Colombian for the full-
ness, Mocha for the color, Costa ап
for the perfume.

In the Royal Sogetel, the hotel Didier
has chosen for the night in Lyons, man-
ager Jean-Pierre Anquetin ollers him a
late-afternoon whiskey and asks him to
taste his terrine of calves’ feet. By the
time the ceremony is over (the calves’
feet is an interesting idea, but it lacks

TIME Conventional

Analog face set to New

York time, Digital

read-out shows Tokyo

time

+ Reverse, if you
choose, and use Digi-
tal area for home.
‘town and Analog for
different city

- Equipped for 24-hour
Military display

Yellow #41-9028-91 $210

ertormer n time (9 CITIZEN

erica, Inc., 12140 West Olympic Blvd., Los Angeles, CA 90064 Citizen Watch Co., Ltd., Tokyo, Japan

Citizen Watch Company of

THE NOW
= AND FUTURE WATCH.

| DIGI-ANA QUARTZ
BY CITIZEN’

Now Time serves you as never before!
Digital accuracy and Analog ease.

A single, elegantly-thin Citizen Watch
does it all. Gives you the hour in your
city ... plus the exact time in the home
office, or any other place in the world.
Superb Quartz precision. Plus a power
cell that lasts up to three full years. See
the exciting functions illustrated below.
You'll have to agree: Digi-Ana is the
Now and Future Watch ... and only
Citizen could achieve it!

"s Citizen's Dramatically-
Versatile Great Performer

CALENDAR function STOPWATCH counts
shows month, date hours, minutes, sec-
and day onds and 1/100 second
» Versatile Digi-Ana, * Features run, stop,
once set, auto- lap stop, lap run and.
matically adjusts to zero reset
different numberof e Supremely func-
days in month tional, with Citizen
+ Adjusts for Leap Year Quartz accuracy
and any year up to
2009

Stainless #41-9010-50 $175

PLAYBOY

230

Tia Maria over Ice
For imaginative drink ideas send for the Tia Maria recipe book:
W.A.Taylor & Company,825 South Bayshore Drive, Miami, Florida 33131

Li
:
|
f

depth), the earth has inexorably revolved
around to dinnertime. It is only day two,
and Didier has only three meals under
his belt. But he isn’t hungry.

"The foie gras is passing badly," he
mutters. “I'm stalled.”

He is sitting in the crowded, sympa-
thetic second-floor dining room of Léon
de Lyon, which is probably the best bi
stro on the face of the earth. Jean-Paul
Lacombe, the 28-year-old proprietor and
chef, is trying to talk him into some of
the spécialités de la maison, but Didier
and his digestive tube are adamant. With
the grimace of a man in acute discom-
fort, he orders nothing but a dish of
creamed leeks. Although not meant as
such, it is an affront to the artistry of
Lacombe, who is am extraordinary, in-
ventive and passionate cook. (In othe
similar moments of distress, Didier
been known to order softboiled е
and toast for dinne renowned res-
ants.) Lacombe disappears back into
his kitchen but is deter
the last word: He sends out an unre-
quested salade Léon de Lyon to keep
Didier company while he waits for his
leeks. The salad is a delicious little
creation of foie gras, a duck filet, mush-
rooms and green bcans. Didier picks at
it desultorily.

"Ah, foie gras," he says, his deep voice
edged with polite disgust

Since he arrived, he has been sipping
at the bottle of Pouilly-Fuissé that Jean
aul sent over to his table. Now, as he
pushes the mushrooms around his plate,
the cold, fruity white wine begins to ac
complish its mission, Almost impercepti-
bly, Didier finds his disgust giving way
to professional interest.

“Hmm,” he says. “There must be some
wuffle oil in the dressing.” A few mo-
ments pass. He eats a bean, then reflects,
and stabs his

ned to have

stares around the room
fork into the foie gras.

Ca у est!” he announces with а ti-
umphant smile. “It’s happened! m hun-
gry again.” He quickly deyours the rest
of the salad.

“It’s just like a horseman who's fallen
at a jump," he says. "You have to get
right back into the saddle and attack
the jump again.”

Didier polishes off his leeks, and the
cheese and dessert, too. The only truly
eventiul moment of the evening occurs
when the waiter pours the red Burgundy
accompanying the leeks. Didicr finds it
too warm, orders a bucket of ice and
plunks a big cube into his glass, to the
utter astonishment of the young waiter

“That's what I think about the rules,"
Didier says, giving a vulgar high sign.
"There are no rules.”

DAY THREE

The big project of the day is lunch
at La Pyramide, in the city of. Vienne,
about 18 miles south of Lyons. The

almost legen
founded by

y Pyramide is the temple
Fernand Point, the giant of
French cooking who taught most of
today’s great chefs most of their kitchen
grammar. Although Point has been dead
for years now, his intractable tradition
of respect for proper food properly eaten
is faithfully maintained by his 80-ye
old widow, Mado. No French gourmet
would ever dare smoke between courses
in Madame Point's presence, for unthink-
ing nicotinophiles who lit up after their
appetizers found Fernand Point instruct-
ing the headwaiter to deliver the check,
“since you have obviously finished your
терам." Didier never dared smoke at all
in Point's presence. Now, with his wid-

ar-

ow, he requests permission to do so-
the end of the meal.

When he arrives at La Pyramide's big
white gate, he has already checked out
another restaurant a few miles south of
Vienne, appearing incognito to look over
the dining room and peruse the menu
while having a glass of Côtes du Rhône
at the bar. ant and assured, Mada
Point greets him as soon as he p:
into her restaurant's vestibule.

“A bottle of Dom Pérignon, Loui:
she tells the sommelier. She takes а sym-
bolic splash in her own glass and sits
down to talk with Didier as he plans his
lunch. Wealthy food fanatics would pay
dearly for the honor of Madame Point's
joining them for a drink. Didier likes
the idea of fresh morel mushrooms, the
same ones that were so good at Alain
Chapel, but Madame Point raises an
eyebrow

“Tm afraid you'll have to have them
en casserole,” she says. “We had problems
this morning with the flaky pastry, so
there's no croustade.”

The pastry chef probably caught hell
for that. Didier sticks with the morels,
nonetheless, but first prepares the ground
with an old Point specialty, pûlê of
thrush flavored with juniper berries.
After the mushrooms, Madame Point
sends over a tart pear sherbet to clear
mouth and stomach for the rich, creamy
cassolette of veal kidneys that follows.

Shortly after, Didier allows that it is
his birthday this very day. “I would be
tempted to order a vintage from my
birth year" he says to the sommelier,
“but then, of course, that would have to
be a Bordeaux. wouldn't it?”

“If you're fatigued, you can call for
a Borde says Louis, the 69-year-old
sommelier, with feigned innocence. (Bor-
deaux is the aristocracy of wines, but
Burgundy is richer, perhaps less subtle,
redolent of youth and folly—ballsier.)

Опе likes Bordcaux after a certain age
Didier compromises and asks him to
choose a good Cotes du Rhône for the
main course. But first he has a fruity Con-
drieu white wine to accompany the
mushrooms.

Louis uncorks the rcd wine without

Scotch Recording Tape...
it sounds like money well spent.

@ LÀ

SCOTCH MASTER Ill FeCr BIAS

hair
. replacement news

Ten years of unbiased research has gone into the making
of a concise, easy-to-read consumer newsletter on h
replacement methods. Each monthly issue contains
information you must know before committing yourself
АЎ) хо costly and sometimes painful treatments.

ıi FIND OU
| Costs, medical implications, extent of treatments, how
and where to find reliable practitioners for mathods such
as these:
bonding * transplants
e hair weaves * implants
* skin grafts * inversions
vitamins, lotions, creams « fusion

This is your source for up-to-date, in-
reports on products and methods now bi
offered as so-called cures or solutions
to baldness and hair loss. Each month a
different hair replacement method
will be analyzed.

+ Order a sample report now, we
can help find the solution that
is best for you!

SATISFACTION
GUARANTEED OR
YOUR MONEY
RETURNED

231

PLAYBOY

232

The closest
thing to
wearing
nothing

at all.

EQUREX Ф

Pf NATURAL SKINS

THREE "NON-SLIP XXXX
LUBRICATED PROPHYLACTIC

Mother Nature made love one
of her most joyous and tender
moments. And in keeping with
that spirit, we made Fourex
Natural Skins the most natural
contraceptive you can buy.
You see, Fourex is a natural
tissue membrane with the
texture and sensitivity of soft
skin. They're so sensitive that
every nuance of your natural
warmth is communicated.
And they're lubricated in such
away as to enhance that
sensitivity. Fourex Natural
Skins are available in the
unique blue capsule or, if you
prefer, rolled in the convenient
foil pack.

Take your pleasure.

FOUREX XXXX

Sold in Drugstores.
Manufactured by Schmid Products Co.
Little Falls, New Jersey 07424

going through the ritualistic display of
the label. Didier has been challenged,
Louis fills his glass and places the bottle
at the far end of the table, its label facing
outward. Didier sips.

“Goddamn!” he fairly shouts. “That's
a truck! That's a bulldozer!

The powerful, sun-nourished wine is
of a red so deep that it borders on blue
has to think for several long mo-

king a pronouncement.

“Td "s а Cote Rótic," he ventures,
"but I'm not sure.”

Louis turns the bottle around: Cóte
Rótie.

After lunch, Didier joins a friend a
another table for a glass of ancient
vintage cognac offered by Madame Point.
Their conversation turns to Marc Four-
nier, the world's number-one collector
and restorer of hurdygurdics and fair-
ground organs, who lives just down the
street from La Pyramide. They decide to
pay him a quick visit. Fournier is de-
lighted to sce them, cracking open a bot-
ile of champagne for the occasion.

By dinnertime, Didier has only half
regained his appetite. The attractive
redhead who waits on him in La Renais-
sance in the industrial burg of Rive-de-

Gier is the wife of the owner and chef,
Gilbert Laurent. It is Didier’s first trip
to the establishment, and he doesn't

identify himself as the man from Kléber.
She seems troubled by his appearance
and his expertise, but she obviously can't
place him. Didier consumes a plate of
smoked country ham and a lake salmon
poached over a bed of garden herbs, ac-
companied by a bottle of white Côtes
du Rhóne. As he is eating the fish, he
notes that the waiter has left the alcohol
flame burning under the chafing dish.
Didier grumbles, even though the tarra-
gon-based sauce is delicious. When the
waiter proposes a second serving (there is
a whole, fat filet still untouched), Didier
haughtily refuses it without even a taste,
maintaining by now the salmon is
ruined by the continuing heat.

just meant to keep it warm,” the
luckless waiter protests, Didier sends for
the headwaitress and politely but firmly
scolds her for the waiter's misplaced good
intenti Madame is desolated. Would
monsieur like something else to replace
it? No, thank you, says Didier. He has
had a very full day. Somchow, in the long
interlocution that ensues, it comes out
that he is Jean Didier of the Kléber.
Madame is more desolated than ever. She
tantly sends for her husband, who
appears from the kitchen in full chef's
regalia, He looks apprehensive, sits down
to explain his policy on lake salmon,
snaps his fingers and sends for a bottle
of champagne.

DAY FOUR

Driving out of town the next morning,
Didier is explaining the tribulations and

physical trade secrets of the long-distance
eater. Luckily, hangovers are rare for
him, though he often has a hard time
waking up in the morning. He has never
known any of the various hangover pills
to do any good. Aspirin for the head,
maybe, but that is bad for the stomach
Several of the gastronomic critics walk
much as possible to help their diges-
tion, but there isn’t any miracle remedy
for that, either. Some of his confreres
have been known to make themselves
vomit, in the style of the ancient Ro-
mans, but he finds himself physically
unable to do it.

"You've just got to ler nature take its
course. As an old family doctor of mine
said, ‘What goes in one hole must
come out another.’ What is important is
the saddle.

The saddle—la selle—is the French
euphemism for defecation. It is a subject
of great concern and attention to the
long-distance cater.

“I have two times the saddle in the
morning,” Didier explains. “Directly
upon arising. and then another af.er
bathing and shaving. In this business,
you must have a good transfer. It is very
important to eliminate quickly. Above
all, you must not hold yourself back.
1f you do, you profit from the food more
and you become fat. You've always
got to watch your saddles. Constipated
people are unhappy. This morning, just
before leaving, I had a third saddle.

"Today's lunch is to be another
point of the trip—with the "Froisgros
Brothers in Roanne. Roanne is an un-
distinguished and not particularly gra
cious middlesized French city on the
banks of the Loire River, whose only
attraction, unless you have a lover there,
or some textiles to flog, is Hôtel des
Frères Troisgros. Along with
Chapel's place, and Paul Bocus
Lyons, and a handful of others, it
is one of the frontrunners in anyone's
theoretical sweepstakes for the world's
greatest restaurant. Both brothers, Jean,
51, and Pierre, 49, are former disciples
of old Fernand Point, and both are yen-
erated by the cating establishment as
lı priests of equal stature in the re-
ligion of what has come to be known as
the new school of French cooking,

When Didier enters the restaurant,
he takes the professionals’ route—from
the parking lot through the back door
and into the kitchen. Thi amid the
bubbling pow, the heaps of mushrooms
and raspberries and the enormous slabs
of Charolais beef (one of the three best
in the world, along with Texas and
Kobe), Pierre is holding court and keep-
ing things in order. As massively built as
a bull, but also gifted with the fine and
subtle intelligence of a scholar of human
nature, Pierre is possessed of the magic

The Hot Tub Experience

It takes your breath away at first.
Then the hot, swirling water does its magic.

Your body sinks back. Suddenly the simple pleasures of
relaxation are rediscovered. There’s laughter,
Playful splashing, quiet conversations...

Introducing the Hot Tub Experience
from California Cooperage. It exactly fits
the spirit of our time.

Soaking Is For Everyone

Hot tubbing is just plain fun. It's £
soothing and natural. It can be sociable 4
or solitary. Enjoyed in any climate.
Whatever time of year. And thanks to
our low cost do-it-yourself hot tub
kits, anyone can enjoy the bene-
fits.

The First To Do It Right

We deliver our hot tub spa
package anywhere in the U.S.
for only $1665, plus freight.
Comes to your door pre-cut,
ready to assemble. Includes a
solid redwood tub, pump and
filter system, heater, hydro-
massage jets, plumbing kit, and
accessories. You need little more
than household tools, the help
of a friend and a free weekend.
It's that simple!
Get the entire

story from
the world's

— „ш
> —— 2 ==
Our Package Is as

First off, each California
Cooperage hot tub is
precision-milled from only the
finest kiln-dried, all-heart red-
wood. It can be assembled in a
few hours and lasts for gen-
erations.

Our spa equipment system
produces thousands of in-
vigorating bubbles and
keeps constant vigil
over water purity. It's

completely self- leading
contained. Heavy- AP hot tub
duty. Time-tested and maker.
virtually maintenance Call or

free.
And as a practical
matter, California
Cooperage hot tubs
are both ecologically
sensible and an ex-
cellent investment.

write
today for
our free
20-page
color
brochure,
or

enclose $2, and we'll also send
the photo-story book California
Hot Tubbing (Uniplan Publishing,
reg. $4.95). Р.О. Box E, San Luis
Obispo, CA 93406
(805) 544-9300.
Our Package
Price: $1,665

Class Mail

Name

Address —

Cy —

State
РО. Box E San Luis Obispo. € CA 93406
(805) 544-9300 J5

California Cooperage

WORLD'S LEADING HOT TUB MAKER

PLAYBOY

power of speeding up: One glance from
him at an apprentice or an assistant chef
and the work suddenly goes 20 percent
faster. Didier has a few lids off pots,
sticks his finger into a sauce, then follows
Pierre into the bar for а kir maison—
white Burgundy with a shot of black-
currant syrup. Jean Troisgros isn't
around today; he has gone down to the
town of Pauillac to do a little party
cooking for Philippe de Rothschild. Over
in a corner booth, Pierre's wife and
daughter are just fi g their lunch
of soft-shelled lobster.

“If you had come half an hour earlier,
I would have given them to you," Pierre
says. "You don't see-many of them.”

Didier consoles himself with an appe-
tizer that is a little invention of Pierre
1 of baby cels smothered in crushed
tomato, oil and vinegar. To his thorough
satisfaction, he finds that he is starving.
He races happily through the famous
Troisgros vegetable terrine (artichoke
hearts, green beans, celery, carrots, as-
paragus tips and truffles bonded together
by а foie gras mousse), thrush pdté у

inach-and-potato salad, oysters lightly
poached in champagne and four fish
filets on а bed of green vegetables, wash-
II down with cool red Burgundy
With the main course, a pigeon cooked
with whole garlic cloves, the choice of
the wine is both more important and
vice

"I'm more Burgundy than Bordeaux,

а sa!

says Didier, "and more Cote de Nuits
than Cóte de Beaune," spontancously
coining an unbeatable bit of onc-upman-
ship for the vocabulary of future wine
snobs.

“Why don't I give you a 1973 Bonnes
Mares?” suggests Gilbert, the sommelier,

Bravo!” cries Didier. “Не remem-
bered—my favorite wine!”

Shortly after the arrival of the beauti-
ful, plump pigeon and its side order of
sautéed mushrooms, Pierre saunters out
the kitchen to see how things are

says Didier between
mastications, “I'm working.”

When the waiter, Michel, proposes the
apressively vast Troisgros cheese platter,
forth another nice bit of
expertise, "Young man," he s;
king the Bonnes Mares "73, so I
choose my cheese in consequence.
I will take one goat cheese only, and not
too young. Never two women in my bed
at the same time, and never two cheeses
on my plate.

A little champagne with dessert, a long
professional chat with Pierre over coffee,
30 they rise and go to the bar,
where Pierre opens a bottle of finc Pom-
тага and brings out a little munching
material of hot tripe sausages, slathered
with explosive mustard. It brings tcars
to Didier's eyes.

That night, 1.
first failure: He cancels a restaurant

and at 5

ack in Lyons, he has his
nd

“Somehow I always expected someone tall and thin.”

stays in the hotel. He consumes a bowl
of onion soup and a glass of Beaujolais
in the snack bar. Shame.

DAY FIVE

Didier doesn't want to admit it, but
he has trouble going through Monsieur
Pics monumental menu. Naturally, Pic
means well: Dy nature, he is as geni
as he is shy, expressing himself through

ous

the profusion of delicacies that he sends
forth from his kitchen. But Didier isn't
feeling in form. Alter a brief reawaken-

ing of desire with the pink champagne
and the fisherman's salad, he finds him-
self bogged down with the salmon filets.
He plugs on through а sense of duty,
but his heart isn't in it. He is paying the
ransom of the late 20th Century, when
men just don’t eat the way they used to.
Pic's overwhelming lunch, for instance,
would have been a mere frivolous nibble
for the Club of the Big Stomachs, 18
serious trenchermen of the mid—19th
Century who met at six е.м. every Satur-
day in a Parisian restaurant called Pascal.
They ate for 18 hours straight, in three
servings of six hours apiece. Six р.м. to
midnight: several glasses of bitter wine
‘ot soup, turbot
‚ leg of lamb,
ed chicken, veal tongue, cherry sher-
bet (for cooling the palate), roast chicken,
creams, tarts and pastries, with six bot-
tles of Burgundy each. Midnight to six
A.M.: several cups of tea, turtle soup, а
curry containing six chickens, salmon
with spring onions, peppered venison
cutlets, filets of sole with trufle sauce,
peppered artichokes, rum sherbet, grouse
cooked in whiskey, rum pudding, spiced
English puddings and three Burgundies
and three Bordeaux apiece. Six AM. 10
noon: superpeppery onion soup with
various crackers and unsugared pastries
ntity, accompanied by
bottles of champagne apiece, coffee
n entire bottle of cognac per man.
ier would have passed for a sp
next to the Big Stomachs. He drinks only
three wines with the lunch: a Condrieu
white and а Saint-Joseph and а Cornas
red. After dessert and coffee, Monsieur
Pic joins him, bringing another bottle of
champagne—Pol Roger Brut this time.
Didier takes one look and one sip, then
sends the bottle back. It is off color, he
says; the cork must have been bad. The
sommelier trots out with another bottle.
"This one meets his approval.

Driving back to Lyons late that after-
noon, Didier has to fight off the waves
of sleepiness g

in unlimited qua
Tour

erated by the wine. He
knows that tonight's dinner is at Paul
Bocuse's.

Bocuse is both Lyons's most famous
citizen and the most famous cook in the
world today. After working as an appren-
tice and assistant chef for Fernand Point,

THE LUMBER-CORE BAFFLE BOARD:
REDUCES SPEAKER DISTORTION.

The baffle board in any speaker system is what
transfers the acoustic energy (sound waves) to the
air and to your ears.

In fact, it's the most critical part of cabinet
construction. Like the sounding board in a grand
piano, the wood used in a speaker can seriously
affect the way music sounds.

To get the music sounding best, Kenwood
laminates five layers of wood around a Shina
lumber-core. The result is a very rigid baffle board
that produces no vibration of its own to interfere
with the music. That means less speaker distortion.

You'll hear the difference as music that sounds
more accurate. With a solid, tight bass. A midrange
without coloration. And high frequencies that are
crisp and clear right up to the highest violin
overtones.

That's because every part of every Kenwood
LS-Series B speaker is designed from scratch—
from the composition of the rigid, lightweight

Typical response.
of damped acoustical
radiation using
plywood battle board.

Typical response
of damped acoustical
radiation using
Kenwood lumber-core.
baffle board.

speaker cones, to the unitized tweeter construction,
to the exclusive lumber-core baffle board.

Since speaker systems are the most personal of
any high fidelity component, you should really hear
them for yourself. Your Kenwood dealer has a
complete line of LS-Series B speakers to match
your specific listening requirements.

After all, if you want your speaker's performance
to be as good as your receiver's, choose the
speaker with a reputation as good as your
receiver's.

Mle LUMBER-CORE BAFFLE BOARD

Hear the future of high fidelity.

Ф KENWOOD

For the dealer nearest you, see your Yellow Pages,
or write Kenwood, P.O. Box 6213, Carson, CA 90749.
In Canada: Magnasonic Canada, Ltd.

PLAYBOY

236

THE REAL
SATIN SHEETS

Machine Washable & Dryable
З Letter Monogram on Cases
FREE And We Pay Postage

14 Colors: Burgundy, Champagne, Black,

Red, Gold, Brown, Ice Blue, Royal Bluc,

Sliver, Bronze, Mint Green Green, Lavender,
& Purple,

Ltop sheet, 1 fitted, 2 cases
OR

Cottons: Round Beds & Water Beds ошу
Matching Sheets, Bedspreads, Drapes, Etc.

Rush shipping on
Money Orders & Credit Cards:
Visa, Master Charge & Am. Express.
‘Acct. number & expiration date.
Checks accepted.

Charge Orders & Information
call Toll Free:
800-631-2170
REGAL SATINS, INC.
1309 Allaire Ave. Dept. P-5

Ocean, N.J. 07712
. Residents Add 5% Sales Tax

REVOLUTIONARY NEW
CONDOM INTRODUCES THE
IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE

Adam & Eve's exclusive new
SCORE™ condom has ten raised
points around the head—points
that are raised higher. This “40
Point” advantage will bring you
incredible new pleasure — for
each of you. See for yourself. Send
for our special introductory wallet
of five. (Available in selected
stores)

SPECIAL INTRODUCTORY OFFER

See for yourself how SCORE'S ten point
advantage can add a whole new dimension
to your love life. For just $1.75 we will rush
youa specialintroductory wallet of 5 SCORE
condoms under our famous money-back
guarantee: You must be absolutely satisfied
with your purchase or we will refund your
money in full. Send just $1.75 to:

cAdamé&Eve dept. PB9-F qe
PO dd 900, Carrboro, NC 27510

MONEY BACK GUARANTEE ÊV)

he moved back to his father's modest
restaurant in the mid-
took it over completely when his
father died and within a few years
brought it up from nothing to three stars
in the Michelin and a crowned red
rooster in the Kléber. Bocuse is a phe-
nomenon: a force of nature, a multi-
faceted entrepreneur who is a born
leader of men, a swinging practical-jok
ing lover of life who generates a wave of
personal publicity as naturally as a seal
barks, a wealthy and diversified business.
man (he owns three restaurants in To-
kyo and has deals, endorsements and
picces of action all around the world);
he is also a giant of the cooking trade.

But Didier isn't hungry. and that is
bad show, bad show. They have been
waiting for him at Bocuse's restaurant.
Once the word got around that the Klé
ber was in the region, they knew very
well he had to drop by the emperor's
place sooner or later. Didier is greeted at
the door by Françoise, Bocuse's beautiful
daughter, and, а few seconds later in the
dining room, by Raymonde, his equally
beautiful wife. Bocuse himself is out of
town, as it happens, tending to his Ren-
gaya restaurants in Tokyo. But with wife
and daughter in the room (his mother,
Irma, is there, too, writing out the bills
at the cash desk), and his number-one
chef, Roger Jaloux, in the kitchen, things
are under control.

As soon as Didier takes a se
champagne and raspberry syrup арр
before him, along with a plate of amuse:
gueules, Secretly, he wishes he could just
have a salad and go to bed, but when you
are the Guide Kliber, you don't play the
wilting virgin. You are expected to cat.
Bocuse’s famous truflle soup is a must
it is a fairly recent creation and Didier
has never sampled it. He follows with
a hot páté in a pastry shell and a luke-
warm salad of lobster with garden
vegetables and herbs. The Beaujolais ac-
companying it all comes from the cellars
of Georges Duboeuf, where Didier went
wine-tasting what now seems like a cou-
ple of centuries ago.

In spite of Didier's mild protestations,
Kiki the waiter gives him a second help.
ing of páté chaud. Kiki has been serving.
Didier for 15 years. He knows he is a
sucker for the pûlê and pepper sauce. At
9:20 г.м., Didier pops another bile pill
He feels hot and uncomfortable.

The lobster is fabulous, of course, but
now Didier is truly laboring. He feels as
if he were onstage—which isn't too far
from the truth, in fact. By an act of
sheer will, he chews mechanically through
the lobster, enjoying it as much as if it
cardboard,
ne is full up, huh?" he remarks.
feel like the guy who asked his fairy god-
mother to make him young and hand-
some foreyer, and always get plenty of

wen

Why Wait!

ORDER YOUR PLAYBOY

CLUB KEY TODAY! CALL

800-621-1116 Toll-Free
(IN ILLINOIS CALL 800-972-6727)

to order your Key. Ask for Bunny
Holly. (In Illinois call 800-972-
6727.) Then enjoy a world of dining,
drinking, disco dancing, top shows
and beautiful Bunnies.

Your Key gives you...

• Entry to all Playboy Clubs across
the U.S. and abroad.

* Playboy Preferred Passbooks.
Available in more than 15 cities
Save $200.00 or more per book
with 2-for-1 dining, other dis-
counts.

* PLAYBOY or OUI every month
at the Club.

* 10% discount on room rates at
Playboy Hotels.

* 30-day money-back guarantee.

* Plus more benefits and savings.

* Only $25 for your first year's Key.

Call
Me!

toll-free at
800-
621-

1116

Playboy Clubs
Inc,

Boulder. Colorado
80301.

THE WORLD’S NUMBER ONE REDUCER:
SLENDERIZING AMERICA UP TO

,000,000 INCHES |
A MONTH!

CHICAGO:

SAN FRANCISCO: 2
“Took off 19 inches “Great! Instant reducing X
in just one day 7 inches off waist and 5
with Slim. Skins— abdomen in just one day |! | |
more than I could зуе d 7
ever lose with ЗАП АКЕ CN: ALBANY: C 5
weeks of dieting!” credible! Lost “Trimmed waist nearly
ноте 6 inches off | inches — thighs 4 inches
waist in З days.” each injust 3 days?” c pore
SAN DIEGO.
“Without dieting Slim-Skins КЕКЕ ER YORK D
lit ted : iazing
Шеге meli тозу сы “Lost 12 inches the Lost 4 inches
inch I had!" Rare first day- nearly from waist
М 18 inches іп 3 days!” the very
OCate first time I
NEW ORLEANS: ever tried
“Lost over 17 inches in just Slim-Skins:

Brad Wilsorf,

T ‘one day with Slim-Skins!"

L Corbett

SLIM-SKINS™ THE ONLY REDUCER THAT GUARANTEES
YOU MUST LOSE 9 TO 18 INCHES FROM YOUR WAIST,
ABDOMEN, HIPS AND THIGHS IN JUST 3 DAYS —
WITHOUT DIETING — OR YOUR MONEY BACK!

From coast to coast hundreds of

Skins work so amazingly fast that your vacuum Cleaner with the uni-

THE SLIM-SKINS

EXPERIENCE

BEFORE
дей Nelson, wondering
just how fast Slim-Skins
Can reduce and lighten
up a somewhat soft and.
flabby waistiine.
Starting
measurements:

Waist: 3972"
Abdomen: 407"

Hips: 43%

Jeff snaps his Slim-Skins
to his vacuum and goes
through his first Slim-
Skins session - jus! 10.
minutes of the rhythmic
movements of the Рег
manent Inch Reduction
program and 15 minutes
of pure relaxation -as the
flab disappears like magic.

AFTER

A trimmer, tighter, leaner
Jeff Nelson after the
very irst session

Lost: 2%" from waist
214" from abdomen
2a from hips

in just 25 minutes.

thousands of users are discover-
ing that Slim-Skins is indeed the
world's fastest slenderizer taking
off excessinchesup to 7 times fast-
er than diet pills, crash diets or any
other method they have ever tried.

DOCTOR TESTED. Over 8' from
abdomen-7' from waist: these аге
justsome of the fantasticinch losses
achieved by Slim-Skins users in just
one to three days on a special slim-
ming test conducted by a prominent. г,
American physician: losses 7 times
faster than with diet pills or the lead-
ing ‘fat burn’ diet.

FANTASTIC INCH LOSS WITHOUT

DIET, Developed in Europe, thesen-
sational Slim-Skins are now achiev-
ing slenderizing results far beyond
the scope of other reducing prod-
ucts. And Slim-Skins takes off the
excess inches only where you need
tolose them, without dieting-and
won't leave you with loose, flabby
skin as ‘crash diets’ do. With Slim-
Skins, as you lose inches, your body
becomes tighter, sleeker, firmer and
more shapely. And yet the Slim-

PAT PENO Copyright Sie Sis 1979. Shane Erterpeses highway and Calendar Road Arroyo Granoe. CA 93420

you can actually measure the
difference in just 25 minutes.

INCHES DISAPPEAR OR YOUR
MONEY BACK. Slim-Skins is a new
slenderizing concept that combines
with your own vacuum cleaner to
create a super new inch reducer so
far ahead of its time that it reduces
excess inches 7 times faster than
‘crash diets! Just step into the Slim
Skins, snap the attached hose to

versal adapter -which fits any make
vacuum cleaner-and tum on your
machine. Instantly the Slim-Skins
seem to come alive with a delightful
reducing action on every single inch
of your body from beltline to knees.
Not every user may experience the
same degree of inch loss but you
must lose 2 total of 9 to 18 inches оп
your wai domen, hips and thig

in just 3 days or your money back

| | Slim-Skins.

tr EE d

"RO. Box 3260, Dept. PB-2

Monterey, CA 93940 |
Please send me. Sim-Skuns along wath complete easy-to-use struc:
ret ie cord апар | тошто ny eons ore garanie anda |
within 2 weeks 1 am not completely salisted. | can return my Shim Skins and get
| my purchase price immediately refunded |
enclose $0.05 for each pair of Slim-Skins plus 90 each tor postage and handling
| check {Money Order No COD's accepted. |
| Please charge to my: O Master Charge C BankAmericard [Visa |
| Man: Hp size Е Woman: Hip Sze— EI
| Nome |
Address. = =
| os —_ |
| state =

L ORDER TODAY-SHED ALL THOSE EXCESS INCHES NOW! ay

PLAYBOY

238

ass. She turned him into a toilet.”

He goes on chewing, but the pernicious
combination of too much food and no
exercise is having its fatal effect. Didier
is bloated, He has heartburn. His stom-
ach is churning. He hurts.

“I have gas.” he says. At 10:25, he ex-
cuses himself, plods to the men's room
nd farts heroically. He returns much те-
ved, and although he passes up the
cheeses, he manages to do justice to the
dessert.

DAY SIX.

“Tve been born again! Tm brand-new
this morning." Didier's tortured guts are
in blessed repose, thanks to some ex-
tremely satisfactory saddles.

“Туе emptied myself,” he says, "that's
what's marvelous. If there had been a
turd contest this morning, I would have

ego. Youll have

Ww
downtown, and

You Know melal
to acknowledge me

soones or late. Sue, youre putting p 4
он, but how pe bein d
youself for a change? “Lets go

lovely taffeta cocktail des that
You wee {ooking at on Saturday

won it. And the dinner last night was of
a great finesse and elegance. That páté
chaud was sublime.”

He is heading north out of Lyons, on
the last leg of his tournée. Only one meal
remains. Almost hefore Didier knows it,
he is on the twisting country road lead-
ing toward Saulieu, home of the grand
old Côte d'Or, a restaurant almost as
famous a» La Pyramide. But where
Pyramide has continued. navigating un-
der the steady hand of Madame Point,

the Côte d'Or has had an irregular record

псе the retirement of Alexandre Du-
maine, its former master. Now it is
owned by Claude Verger, а terrible-
tempered ex-kitchen-equipment salesman
turned restaurateur. Verger has given
over responsibility for the kitchen to his
26-year-old disciple, Bernard Loiseau,
nd Loiscau is out to prove that he, too,
can merit a cog rouge couronné.

ly. [п уос Sli

you'll try on that

Loiseau is so nervous about Didier's
visit that he is literally watching the road,
because this time Didier has telephoned
head. When he arrives in the parking
lot, Loiseau comes out to greet him be-
fore he has even gotten out of the car.
Within minutes, Didier has а kir in his
hand. He and Loiseau walk down the
hill to say hello to Gerard Houssaie, a
young cook from Normandy who has
n over the neighboring Vieille Au-
berge. Houssaie is about Loiseau’s age,
but he has the advantage of having his
wife with him. Loiseau is a bachelor,
the prime of life with the sap running
hard, but he has no diversion beyond
food in Saulicu.

“There's nothing here,” he sighs. “No
girls, no action, nothing, I'm just devot-
ing myself to bringing the Cóte d'Or back
to the top. Other than that, I'm bored

r rewards Loiseau's monklike feal-
ty to haute cuisine by destroying his
lunch with obvious pleasure. Loiscau
watching every plate as it comes back to
the kitchen. If Didier left anything
uneaten, Loiseau probably would have
rushed out, demanding to know what had
been displeasing. The lobster terrine,
the poached oysters and the
fish with red peppers d
Kléber’s maw with the help of a
licious 1971 Puligny-Montrachet
red that follows, with the thin, rare duck
stcaks, is a vigorous Latri
bertin, Loiseau’s lunch is light, imagina-
tive and easy to cat, Didier tells him so,
and for a few minutes the young bache-
lor doesn't even care that there are no
girls in Saulieu.

With the desserts, Claude Verger him-
self appears, just down from Paris. Verger
adores shocking people with his opin-
ions, Calling for a boule of champagne
(Parier-Jouét), he rails on, finding al-
most everything bad in the profession.
Ninety-five or even 99 percent of the
cooks in Fra are lousy, he shouts, and
only two or three know how to make a
steak marchand de vin, The only guy
who knows how to makc sauces is Pierre
‘Troisgros—but then, most sauces are по
damn good, anywa:

At one point in his diatribe, Verger
tries to make Didier put up his dukes by
attacking the guides in general and food
critics in particular. He even goes so
as to call them all whores, but Didier
doesn’t react. He feels cuphoric and
benign. He is thinking about taking it
easy back in Paris, and drinking mine
water for a few days. His lournee is over
He has made it. He can almost feel his
digestive tube working. A good saddle
is promised. He takes another sip of
champagne and smiles.

` Сан.
TheHouseWine.

CRIBA! 1
SAPERNE 4!

IGNON Ñ

(Шет;
PL BURGUNDY

80 years ago, Papa Cribari made a light, mellow wine to keep arourd the house just for Mama, his brothers, cousins and tnends of
the family. Today, Cribari is still just for family and friends. So if you've got the house and friends, we've got the wine.

For а 18"x24" poster of this ad, mail $1 to B. Cribari & Sons, Box P5. 500 Sansome Street. San Francisœ, California 94111. 239

240

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI

people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement

GO SUCK A STICK
For those times when you can't smoke and still STRINGING MM
want oral gratification, try Cigarroots, a curious ALONG
product that’s actually a short root that you
slowly chew made of glycyrrhiza glabra, an herb
that even King Tut once found intriguing. P uci
ате) discovered а pile of tin his nu кум E arae zn
tomb.) Cigarroots come two to a box and are sold 1 "€ Rock "n" ЕЕЕ
in lots of ten boxes for $4.95, postpaid, {тот Р.О. Box 41133, Chicago,
Cigarroots Company, 441 West 56th Street, New RET, oae ә
York, New York 10019. They say glycyrrhiza eiiis MU HUNE
glabra is a taste that grows on you. 4 2 $1000 hand-carved cherry-

/ wood-body electric guitar,

called Electric Lady, that.
was inspired by Monroe's
famous 1951 pinup. And,
like its namesake, the
Electric Lady is also a thing.
of beauty; the maple neck
has an ebony finger board
inlaid with abalone shell,
a variety of pickups are
available and you can even
order it with an optional
carrying case that's lined
with simulated mink.
Monroe would have wanted

the real McCoy.

The ongoing fascination
with Marilyn Monroe (sce

THINKING CAP PUT-ON

Our Goofy Hat of the Month Award goes to the
folks at The Grand Gesture, 21793 Ventura
Blvd., Woodland Hills, California 91364, who
thought up The Original Thinking Cap, a metal
hard-hat with a battery-powered light bulb
screwed into the center. All you do is slip it on
and tighten the chin strap; the thinking cap
then lights up at the slightest movement of your
jaw, signifying that you've suddenly come up
with a bright idea. Paying $9.95, postpaid,

to look silly is also something to think about.

NOW YOU'RE COOKING!

Ah, the suburbs! The next-door neighbors get a new barbecue and
everyone wants to one-up them with a newer model. Well, if you
want to win the grill game once and for all, here's how: The Deep
South Sales Company, P.O. Box 129, Valdosta, Georgia 31601, is
selling for $1295, F.O.B. the factory, a 414’ x 9' steel Super Cooker
that can handle 40 chickens, one pig, one half side of beef or 260
burgers. And if you want to go whole hog, Deep South will even
letter your name on the side of your Super Cooker free. Hot dog!

OLD COWBOYS NEVER DIE....
Remember Rex Allen, the Singing Cow-
boy? Or Monte Hale, Rod Cameron, Bob
Steele or the ever-popular Vera Hruba
Ralston? They were all Western stars at
Republic Pictures and they and a whole
posse of others, including Roy Rogers,
autographed 1200 limited-edition 24" x 30"
posters that The Nostalgia Merchant, Suite
1019, 6255 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood,
California 90028, is selling for §103 each,
postpaid. Happy trails, B-movie fans.

HONEY OF A PRODUCT
Killer bees are the victims of bad PR. Sure,
they sting the bejesus out of anyone who
disturbs their hive, but they also produce
an exceptionally delicious type of honey
that's now available from the Killer Bee
Honey Corporation, P.O. Box 71, Cam-
bridge, Massachusetts 02139, for $3.95, post-
paid, per 5.75-oz. jar. As you spoon it on
your breakfast muffin, remember the lives
this honey has cost and then try to enjoy it.

LOOKING SHEEPISH
La Prairie is the renowned Swiss
clinic that is said to have
rejuvenated the bodies of such
international personalities as
Charlie Chaplin, Pablo Picasso
and Konrad Adenauer via intra-
muscular injections of fresh em-
bryonic cells taken from black
mountain sheep. A week's stay
at La Prairie is about $4000,
but if you're a prune face who
can't afford that kind of price, La
Prairie is now selling five skin-
care products—including Anti-
Wrinkle Cream, Day Cream,
Night Cream, Wet Facial Mask
and Beauty Milk—at 1. Magnin,
Saks Fifth Avenue and other
stores. Prices range from $35 to
$70—or all five products can
be had for just $235. That's
enough to give you wrinkles.

TWINKLE TOES
Mirror, mirror on the dance
floor, who's got the flashiest feet
of all? Whichever guy's date has
slipped into Discoshoes by Arthur
Murray. Discoshoes are recharge-
able ankle-strap-style footwear
that sparkle plenty, as inside each
clear-synthetic heel and toe is
a tiny bulb hooked up to a sen-
sitive micromercury switch. When
your girl moves—twinkle, twin-
kle. You can order the shoes from
Disco Enterprises, 711 North
Westshore Boulevard, Tampa,
Florida 33609, for $115, postpaid,
in black, silver, gold, champagne,
royal blue or plum satin (full
sizes only, five through ten). Just
remind your date to switch them
off when she heads for the john.

GRINGO LINGO
Down Mexico way, you can have
a hell of a good time or a whole
mess of trouble, depending on
what you eat and drink, where
you go and how you deal with
the federales. One of the best.
books on the subject is The
People's Guide to Mexico, by
Carl Franz, a 579-page soft-cover
publication that's especially
valuable to anyone plan-
ning a driving, camping or hitch-
hiking trip south of the border.
People’s Guide can be ordered
from John Muir Publications,
P.O. Box 613, Santa Fe, New
Mexico 87501, for $10, postpaid.
And there are chapters on
Guatemala and Belize, too.

241

PLAYBOY

ү Ps “Wate: cea proves à р
. DuPont guarantees it.

Raid Dance? guaranteed to shine TES to
bead water longer, to last longer. It’s the car wax
with the watertight guarantee.

GUARANTEE: “RAIN DANCE lokeep onbeading ond shining longer than Ihe leading liquid or
waxes. If not completely satsfied. retum unused portion lo 8-4233. DuPont Company, Wilmington. DE 19898. олонтаа
242 actual purchase pice and postoge.

FOREIGN SEX STARS

(continued from page 170)

“Laura, despite her
provocative public image,
is skittish offscreen.”

after I met Gabriele. Не yery affection-
ate always."

At home in Rome, Laura and Gabriele
make togetherness look easy. "Her time
is now," he says. “She should be the star.
But we like to stay together. If she's
offered one movie and Fm offered a
different movie, and we're offered a third
movie together’

“Then we do the one we can do to-
gether,” nods Laura. “I don't have to be
a star. I just want to do good work.”

И Laura appears їп а film that doesn’t
have a satisfactory role for him, Gabriele
may sign on as a production photogra-
pher. “When she has a nude scene with
someone else, 1 take a walk. Not jealous,
but I'm still Italian, you know?" He will
also testify that Laura, despite her pro-
vocative public image, is skittish as a
gazelle offscreen. "She's very shy around
the house, always wearing a kimono,
grabbing something to cover herself. 1
never see her nude at home . . . oh, may-
be three times. To see her naked, I have
to pay in the theater like everyone else,”

Israel's Nitza Shaul was discovered in
the army while serving with an entertain-
ment unit. This comely former soldier no
longer does song-and-dance revues at the
front—performing 4s You Like It in
Hebrew is more her style—and cannot
think of herself as a sex symbol, though
by any standard, she's the most popular.
young actress in the country. “It’s true
I'm doing quite well," Nitza allows. "I
can't walk in the street in Tel Aviv, be-
cause people recognize me. They аге...
well, not aggressive but quite determined
and attentive.”

They are also lining up these days to
see Nita's highly praised performance in
Little Man (for further praise, see our
review in this issue), 2 romantic comedy
hit in which she goes back to her roots
a girl entertaining the troops. On this
sion, five of them simultancously. In
an armored tank. During a rainstorm.

When Nitza's first film, The Police-
тап, opened in London in 1974, critics
found her “bewitching” (The Daily
Mail) and “the prettiest girl seen on
the screen for many a month” (Daily Tel-
egraph). It's been all upward mobility
from that point on. She was named Most
Promising Actress by the Isracli branch
of the America Israel Cultural Founda-
tion and accepted a grant to study drama,

INTRODUCING A WOLF
IN WOLF'S CLOTHING.

It comes dressed in special
paint, a sleek teardrop tank,
flashy megaphone pipes, and lots
of chrome. All the markings of
abigger beast.

And like its big brothers, it’s
ridden in a more natural, laid-
back position. With a low-riding
stepped seat. And handlebars
that reach back for you instead
of the other way around.

Butour XS400 has mcre than
the profile. It has the power.

Infact, Cycle Guide magazine
found that it's the fastest ассе]-
erating four-stroke 400 you can
buy. And one of the best handling
motorcycles anywhere.

Or, as they put it, "the only
limit to how much fun you have
is how much lean angle you like”

How did all this come about?

Engineering.

For example, the suspension
system not only gives you big
bike steadiness, but it can be fine
tuned for any rider, any riding
style.

Andthe carburetors automati-
cally adjust to engine load. So
there's a lot of power, but not a lot
of temperment.

Plus there are features like
anoverhead cam, electric starting,
6-speed transmission, self-cancel-
ling turn signals, disc brakes, and

complete instrumentatior
angled back for easier reading.

There's even an economy
model, the XS400-2F, for those
of youona little tighter budget.

It has wire wheels instead of cast
alloy, slightly less chrome, a kick
starter, drum brakes. Andit comes
in one color instead of two. In all
other respects, it's identical to
our regular model.

Which means it does a whole
lot more than look like a bigger
bike.

It acts like one.

AMAHA

When you know how they're built.

PLAYBOY

244

dance and pantomime in London, though
she was already an established profes-
mal with Tel Aviv's prestigious Cameri
Theater company. She wound up on
BBC Television and onstage in the West
End, scoring another personal triumph
in the first British. production of Ten-
nessce Williams’ The Red Devil Battery
Sign. “I was La Niña, one of those terri-
ble Williams characters, a really dramatic
role in a difficult, heavy play. But Ten-
nessee worked with us on it for a month,
and it was a wonderful experience.

Nitza currently commutes between Tel
Aviv and London with her husband,
Boron Salomon, a conductor and classical
guitarist who was also an old army
ouddy. They keep flats іп both cities
ready 10 move wherever opportunity
knocks. While she waits to see where
Little Man leads,
in writing a film adaptation of “a very
famous novel," but she thinks it's prema
ture to discuss it. "Alter my next film, I
hope to come back to America and stay
longer," she said at the end of a recent
visit to L.A. “The advantage of becoming
known internationally is that you can
reach more people. I like Jane Fonda
very much, Shirley MacLaine, Liv Ull-
mann. And I love Jeanne Moreau. All
those women who have some aim in life
apart from being on the screen.”

Sirpa Lane slid onto а tiny chair in а
hole-in-the-wall Japanese restaurant that
she likes in Paris. She was wearing tight

tza has collaborated

V-neck top and carrying a bikini in her
bag, on her way to Au Printemps to ex-
change it. “Too small," she said. "I'm not
the same girl I used to be . . . physically,
mentally, spiritually or any way." The
girl she used to be was a Finnish-horn
model who made a splash in Paris when
she appeared in Walerian Borowczyk's
La Bête, doing one of those X-ish, ex-
plicit girl-with-gorilla numbers opposite
the Beast of the title. True, Borowczyk

а serious director whom no French-film

buff would dismiss as a mere pornogra-
pher for depicting a bit of bestiality.
Sirpa's next gig was the leading role in
Roger Vadim's La Jeune Fille Assassinée
(The Murdered Girl was called Charlotte
over here) as a morbid social butterfly
with a death wish that brings her to a
grisly finish. “People say Vadim discov-
ered me, but actually І made La Béte
before Vadim . . . Vadim's movie came
out first. Everyone wrote so much bull-
shit about sex films, erotica. But 1 loved
it... Borowczyk was amazed that 1 had
no fear of the camera. I never сусп knew
the camera was there.

‘After Vadim, I stopped working for
a while. I was in love with a man. I al-
ways need to be in love. Also, I was being

offered silly semiporno films which did
not interest me.” Freespi
soon as she could find the
was taking off for Santo Domingo to be-
gin a movie called Papaya. “I'm a j
nalis who росу there

body, you know? Then

the police
come——" She writes fini to the synopsis
with an eloquent Gallic shrug, acquired
since she ran away from her home in Fin-

land at the age ol
road to Paris.
Nowadays, she

15 and found the high

finds that the haut
monde bores her after a while. “That
fashionable world is OK, once every six
wecks. But those people don't know who
I really am. I'm an ordinary girl of the
street. I lived in the street, 1 was born
there, you know? I like to go out alone,
with little money, no jewelry. I get drunk
ina nce all night with whom-
ever I please and come home at six in
the morning.”

A big-budget spaghetti Western looms
in Sirpa's plans for the near future.
ile, she has had an off-agai:
again romance with a top American
macho star whose indiscretions abroad
sound so newsworthy that she claps her
hands over my cars while whispering his
name. She has also conceived a passion
for Richard Gere, whom she has never
met, after seeing him in Looking for Mr.
Goodbar. “Do you know him, this Gere?
Yes? Well, tell him Sirpa wants to make
a movie with him, don't say I want to
marry him. Maybe we could pretend to
interview Gere. You'll say I'm a Finnish
journalist. . . ." No, I'll say she's а Finn
with a lot of flair.

Mcanwl

1, on-

Another girl about Paris is sporty,
French, sensuous Catherine Serre. When
she's not hobnobbing with Jean-Paul
Belmondo or other "in" people at Cas-
tcl's, she's a pacesetter in the social swim
at St-Tropez. Catherine is also an accom-
plished skier and sailing enthusiast.
You'll find very few jet-set jocks in better
shape, which does not imply that the
girl's not serious. "Everything I do I take
seriously,” she says, “and I have an abso-
lute passion for cinema." TV, theater
and modeling were her mainstays until
st year, when she played one of the
more enticing prostitutes in One Two
Two, a French film about a celebrated
World War Two bordello. This year
she'll be getting far greater exposure
amid the gadgetry of the new James
Bond Moonraker, with Roger Moore.

Two more Italian beauties should be
in order, since Italy has been export
bellezza for centuries, from before Bot
celli until long after Loren and Cardi.
nale, Both Leonora Fani and Dalila Di
Lazzaro are products of northern Italy,

both in their mid-20s, both runaways who
left home at an carly age to find them-
selves in Сіпесіца and points south. Both
list Gone with the Wind and Dr. Zhivago
as their all-time favorite movies. Nothing
else about them is the same.

Leonora Fani’s carecr began when she
posed nude for an Italian magazine
(Playmen), her compensation for not
ning a Miss Teenager contest. Her
nymphet image has subsequently bright-
ened up at least 20 movies, in one of
which (Bestialità) she was cast as a de-
praved young girl who made love to a
dog. That was not the high point of her
professional achievements. A high point,
in Leonora’s opinion, would be to ap-
pear in an Ingmar Bergman film. "I'd be
a militant feni says she, it were
not for the desire to keep peace with my
boyfriend, who is against it." Ten years
from now, she would like to be behind
the camera directing a movie of her own.
She'd like to live in Venice and likes
riding her motorcycle at top speed (pre-
sumably not in Venice). Pressed to ex-
plore her fantasies about what she'd like
to do on a perfect day, volatile Leonora
becomes a bit evasive: “My ideal would
be to fly a small airplane all day, with
the possibility of landing whenever and
wherever it pleases me. Though if I were
sure my boyfriend wasn't going to read
this, my answer might be very different.”

The blonde, incomparable Dalila Di
Lazzaro was discovered by Andy Warhol
through a photo advertising eye drops
Dalila's eyes have it, and she wound up
with a featured role in Warhol's Frank-
enstein, That led to a contract with su-
perproducer Carlo Ponti and several
other films, followed by cndless specula-
tion in Ше gossip-hungry Italian press
that she and Signor Pont (Soph
Loren's husband, of course) were more
Шап business acquaintances. "Ponti is
a very nice man, like a father to me,”
says Dalila, who pooh-poohs such rumor-
mongering and wonders at times whether
the movie world is not too cruel and
cynical for her taste. She's still with
though, thinking she'd like to be in
movies by Robert Altman or Bernardo
Bertolucci or Federico Fellini, which is
not unlikely. Her most recent appear-
ances were in The Gol in the Yellow
Pajamas, with Ray Milland and Mel
Ferrer, and The Last Romantic Lover,
directed by France's Just Jaeckin of
Emmanuelle fame. In her daydream
dreamy Dalila knows exactly what she'd
require for a perfect day: "I would love
to spend a day in a recording studio mak-
ing a record with Frank Sinatra and Mick
Jagger; on one side of ihe record, Га be
singing with Sinatra; on the other side,
singing with Jagger.” Now, that's top-of-
the-line daydreaming.

Sip into something
Comfortable...

Comfort: delicious just over ice. Superb тт... mixed!
Just pour Comfort® over ice. Sip it. Nothing like it!
It's delicious. Tastes good with nothing added. __
That's why it makes mixed drinks taste so much |. 4
better, too. Try it in your favorite, you'll be
convinced. Sip into something Comfort®able.

You just know it's got to be good... when it's made with—

Southern Comfort

(слоте SOUTHERN COMFORT CORP Send for a Free Recipe Guide: SOUTHERN COMFORT CORP.. 100 PROOF LIQUEUR. ST.LOUIS. MO. 63132

PLAYBOY

246

MILITARY-INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

(continued from page 162)

“An alert FBI man will note the difference between
a tank factory and a reconditioned whorehouse.”

replace the toy on my desk—a model of
futuristic design, boasting 20 guns.

Some time later—for reasons I'm not
entirely able to recall—the last member
of our fine production team, Thomas
Guinzburg, came on board after an eve-
ning of intense negotiations at the Buck-
et of Bacchus in Positano, Italy. (Small
but mobile, that was Hadley Tank.) Since
© wg was a publisher, he became,
naturally, V.P. bookkeeping. Later he
ed a vital part when Hadley Tank
received its security clearance to handle
"Secret" documents.

The A. T. Hadley Tank Company
rocked along quietly for a few months
doing those things I imagine all Ameri-
can companies do: collecting credit cards,
fending off salesmen, keeping its nose
clean. As chief executive, I several times
cial position.
ies through a
lawyer friend and was pleased to learn
that Hadley Tank enjoyed an excellent
credit rating.

"I guess you always pay your bills on
time,” the lawyer said.

I saw no reason to tell him we had no
bills.

Slowly, in spite of its president's best
efforts, Hadley Tank became more and
more involved with the defense of Amer-
ica, Another letter came from the Penta-
gon, this one requesting the names of my
executives entitled to receive secret in-
formation. Following agreed company

policy to never lic, I wrote back that
none of us was cleared for secret informa-
tion. It worried me a bit to have to state
this, since it made old Hadley Tank ap-
pear a firm run by a bunch of drunks
or Commies. But looking on the bright
side, I reasoned that with such ques-
tionable management, our tank company
had at least heard the last from the
Pentagon. No longer would I be harassed
to bid on defense contracts.

I was wrong. I'd underestimated the
desire of the Department of Defense to
throw away money. Back came a letter
of apology that Ordnance had allowed
our clearance to lapse. Also an incredibly
complex form to fill out so that em-
ployees of the A. T. Hadley Tank Com-
pany could, after proper investigation,
receive secrets.

I called each one of my vice-presidents
in turn to see which would most like
to be investigated by the FBI, but in-
stead of enthusiastically jumping at this
opportunity to prove themselves clean,
rightliving Americans, all I got from
each and every one of them was the old
hoo-ha—and even some unkind sugges
tions that I get investigated myself. This
was impossible, I pointed out, because
there was a long section on the security
form that had to be filled out by the
applicants employer. While I could fill
it out on them, I couldn't fill it out on
myself. They stuck it to me. So I filled
out the form on myself and sent it in.

“You procrastinate about everything else, how come
this you have to finish right away?”

The Government moves slowly, and
what with getting a book published and
a play optioned, I thought no more
about my security clearance to receive
secret information. Then one day my
office door opened and a man entered,
panting. The elevator was out of order
again. He flashed a laminated card at me
and gasped, “FBI.”

I graciously made him at home on the
tank-company couch. He pulled out a
notebook and a Xeroxed copy of several
pages of my security form.

"I'm checking out a party called Ar-
thur T. Hadley," he said. "You know
him?"

т хез

Well?"

Very well.” I mean, this was no time
for psychological quibbles about how
well any one of us knows ourself. But I
didn’t want to mislead the agent, either.
"Iam Arthur T. Hadley.”

"You're who?"

"A. T. Hadley. You'vc come to the
right place.”

"This brought a long pause, while he
consulted his notebook. “I don't think
so."

The game's up, I thought. An alert
FBI man will note the difference between
a tank factory and this cubide on the
top floor of a reconditioned whorehouse.
But the agent's mind was on other things.
Or maybe he hadn't been given the big
picture.

“Im meant to be interviewing the
people who know Hadley—not Hadley."

"Oh."

"I could get in trouble for thi:
said sadly.

"T won't say anything." Never fink on
yourself to the FBI is a basic Hadley rule.

He looked at my security form again,
then turned on me hostilely. “You wrote
this stuff about yourself.”

“That's right. I'm the president of the
company. Nobody else could write it.”

“You're the president of Hadley
"Tank?"

Yes"
Then why did you fill out this part?"

“Tt says at the top of the form: ‘Leave
no part unanswered.’ ”

He studied the front of the form.
“Yeah, it does say that.”

“IE I'd left that part blank, they'd just
have mailed it back to me.”

“But look how you filled it out.” He
read from the form: “ “Т consider the ap-
plicant qualified by reasons of loyalty,
courage, energy, virtue and intellect for
any job up to and including president of
this company: ”

“I should call myself unqualified?”

"You didn't have to be so damn com-
plimentary.”

The agent, a trained and trustworthy
man, was obviously perturbed by the
problem of how to interview me about
myself without talking to me. I suggested
a compromise. Since our vice-president of

bookkeeping, Mr. Guinzburg, was also
president of his own company, the agent
could interview him and merely note
that а company president had confirmed
the reports about Mr. Hadley. Or not
confirmed, I added generously
“That would save a lot of р
id the agent.

vera] months later, I received a regis-
tered letter from a place I cannot men-
tion because of security. I had been
granted a "Secret" clearance. With the
letter came a large, heayy book on how
to handle classified The
A. T. Hadley Tank Company was in
pretty deep.

And it got worse. A longdistance
phone call came in from Detroit. А vice-
president of Ford was on the line. We
chatted a Hule executive chatter. He was
impressed by what he'd heard of Hadley
Tank und Detroit. I told him Ford's
rep was OK in New York also. Then he
came to the point. It was my turn to
chair th ight Tank Committee that
year and give the keynote speech at the
ewoit Tank Arsenal “Salute Tanks”

perwork,”

se to resettle my lunch,
quired the date of the
dinner. Unfortunately, I would be in
urope on that dite, He said the dinne
and the two-day symposium preceding it
would be on future tank-design problems.
Undoubtedly, my V.P. design, Mr. Pat
Zipprodt, could fill in for me. This
seemed no time to explain the sex of my
vice-president to someone in Detroit. nev-
er a stronghold of women's lib, so 1 mum-
bled something about how busy my V.P.
was and the highly classified and tech
cal nature of his work.

“What do you do
‘ord V.P. asked.
Like you out at Ford. Anything the
Government is stupid enough to pay us
to do.

While he w а forced yuk
over that, I managed to terminate the
conversa

V.P. design was a bit hostile over my
turning down her opportunity to keynote
the Salute Tanks dinner without asking
her. “Shit, Hadley, I want to get up and
tell those self-satisfied men what I think
of their stupidity and this Vietnam w;

The idea of her passionate, red-headed
intensity throwing it to the startled ty-
coons of Detroit was highly appealing.
But a company president must take a
broad-brush view.

“And what about our credit cards?” I
asked.

“We're lucky to have you for our presi-
dent,” she generously replied.

Then one day someone knocked
Hadley Tank's Iront door—indeed, at its
only door. There stood a lieutenant with

pistol on his hip.

“The A. T. Hadley Tank Company?"
кей.

achwise, I

Tank?”

Hadley

“Part of it,” I answered, keeping to the
truth as u look a bit harassed,
Lieutenant.”

“Гуе been stuck in your elevator for
over two hour:
“Better take the stairs next time.”

“I couldn't. Т had to bring you all
is." He pointed to a large suitcase be-
side my door. “Your security officer has to
n for it.”

T grasped the significance of his pistol.
I don't think we ordered whatever that
is, Lieutenant. Don't need it at all.

“Specifications on the new tank for
bidding, sir." He looked into my office
as if he didn't quite believe what he saw.
But then, how could he know the history
of one of America’s great companies? His
eye fell on Armstrong’s 20-gun tank on
my desk. “Jesus, are you building one
like that?’

“It's under consideration.” I got rid
noop as quickly as possible. And
dn't even leave me his suitcase. Just
put piles and piles of paper marked сох-
FIDENTIAL on my desk.

I grabbed for the phone. “A
p here quick

mstrong,
he tank
And for
necktie.”
classified

get your ass
company

God's sake, wear а jacket and.
I sat looking at the piles of

n emergency.

paper on my desk. On top was a cover
sheet telling where copies of the plans
were going: Ford Motor Company,

Chrysler Corporation, General Motors,
Litton Industries, the A. T. Hadley
Tank Company. Boeing Company, Ben-
dix. The Соуегппи was morc fucked
up than I'd realized.

VH say one thing for the old tank com-
рапу and my V.P. production. We got
those plans wrapped up according to the
security manual and back to the Detroit
егей шай faster,
n any other company on the
list. Ours were on the way back by late
that afternoon. And we used our ow
money to get rid of the damn things.

Then came Hadley Tank's finest hour.
I received a personal letter from a three-
star general in McNamara's office, refer
to the A. Т. Hadley Tank Company
as "one of the strongest undergirdings
of American Democracy." The letter in
formed me that "The Secretary of De-
fense has personally singled out the A. T.
Hadley Tank Company as one of the
very few prime defense contractors who
have never had a shortfall. This is, in-
deed, an enviable record and he has
asked me to convey to you and yo
fellow utives and employees

his
personal regards.” I was invited to Wash-

ington at my convenience to personally
receive Hadley Tank's award foi idus-
trial efficiens
Such beautiful, d logic.
nk had never made any-
thing, our record was spotless. Never

“Tl tell you why I want
this job. I thrive on challenges.
I like being stretched to my full capacity.
1 like solving problems. Also, my car

is about to be repos

essed.”

247

PLAYBOY

"In Catfornia, сай (408) 996-1010.

10260 Bandley Dr.. Cupertino, California 95014.

SINCE

1958

Co-op Buying Power То The People

R.ELL offers the widest ~
selection of camping.
backpacking and climbing
gear anywhere in the
United States.

There are at least 2.200
items in the new Spring
Catalog—a whole outdoor
shopping center in one
fat catalog. (Send the e
coupon.) H
В.Е. just paid its members
а 10% dividend on.
individual purchases in
1978.

Recreational Equipment Inc-
Seattle-Porlland-Berkeley-Las Angeles-
Anchorage-Minneapoiis

COOP PO BoxC88127. Seattle. WA S8188

Thats the R.E 1. Co-op story. И youd like a free catalog (
1 you'd like to become a member ( ). send 2 bucks.

You get all the benefits

of co-op buying power.
Like low prices—the most
competitive price possible
while maintaining product
quality and safety.

R.E.L's whole focus is

on musclo-powered, ron-
motorized activity. Their
people are outdoors
people first and sales
people second—from
the person on the floor

.. to the president, who just
led the successful
ascent of K2.

There are 800,000 of us
allin this together.

The Original Outdoor Co-op—Est. 1808"

) send the coupon.

State

Or call toll free. 1-800-425-4840 Alaska end Hawaii
Vashington State call 1-800-562-4694.

been late. Never overcharged the Govern-
ment. Never had to renegotiate а con-
tact. Secretary of Defense McNam
showing the genius for tics that h
him convinced we were winning the Vici

r, had now found his idcal tank
ny. I expected to see him on the

news. pointing to a photograph
of a destroyed village and saying, “This
was all done with a Hadley tank.

Fortunately. Pentagon follow-up is very
poor. Merely by not answering the letter,
I was able to avoid receiving our award—
and so kept Hadley Tank alive.

By now I'd been able to observe a dis-
tinct pattern to our company’s herculean
ellorts to avoid building tanks. The pres-
sure on Hadley Tank to take money
always grew most intense one or two
months after speeches by McNamara or
President Johnson about how well things
were going in Vietnam. Therefore, on
reading in September of 1965 that Mc
Nam had told President Johnson he
could see light at the end of the tunnel,

No-Shortfall Hadley,” as I was proudly
known 10 a select few, got ready to dodge
his next tank contract.

But the Pentagon curved me off bal-
nce. It telephoned. Some general whose
nume 1 didn't get invited me to Fort
Knox to inspect the prototype of a new
series of tanks before bidding. The pros-
pect of going to Fort Knox, Kentucky
intrigued me. I had been a private ther
during the late unpleasantness against
our allies the С ans; and to геш
a VIP, president of my own comp
would fulfill an all-American dream—
or perhaps, in my case, a nightmare.

Also, the program was sponsored by

rmy Field Force Board Number 11.
Since the A. T. Hadley Tank Company
ad made the big time, T had received
an annual Christmas card from t
board. The card, the same each y
showed a color photog
the snow, firing its big gun. The picture
was contained within a holly wreath. Be-
neath were the words “Season's Greetings
from Army Field Force Board Number
ll—Creating Bigger Booms and Better
Weapons for a Happier Tomorrow.” I
confess I had been curious about the
nd of brothers who had pro-
duced this card.

Like all good chief executives, I con-
sulted my board. It would be unfair to
say my vice presidents were enthusiastic
about my goi 10 Fort Knox. But since
І was paying my own wa
no insurmountable objections. And their
parting advice was sound: "For God's
ke, Hadley, don't do anything to get us
trouble.” Lockheed and Litton should
е been listening.

The night before descending on Fort
Knox found mc, like any good comp
president, doing my homework: that
out in Louisville drinking with the boy

ph of a

they raised

from Ford, General Motors and other
ns who were also down to bid,
and bullshitting with the lieutenant colo-
nels the Army had assigned to us as es
corts. I admit to a few bad moments that
night. Sharp-eyed vice-presidents from
other corporations. worried about the
gravy going to Hadley Tank, kept trying
to pin me down on just what we did. But
since none of them had received an
award from McNamara for industrial effi-
ciency, No-Shortfall Hadley stayed way
ahead of them.

Also, the lieutenant
around, I was able to learn that all was
not well with the Army tank program
Take certain of the mediums: Any time
you got those dinkers up to speed, the
tracks slapped the hull in such a peculiar
fashion that it started to hum. And that
hum, or
sionals call it, tore the engine loose. The

from colonels

"hull harmonic," as we profes-

officers around me were relieved that
Hadley Tank had nothing to do with
that. I was also sorry to hear that there
appeared to be a goof in light tanks.
Immediately on pulling the trigger in the
newest, the gunner had to leap from the
turret before the fumes from the gun
asphyxiated him. At Hadley Tank Com-
рапу, we never designed them that bad.
The next morning, standing in thc red
mud of Fort Knox, sweating in my gray
flannels like the other captains of indus-
try around me, I admit 1 was scared. The
magnitude of my deception overwhelmed
me. There was just no way I could make
any part of the steel monster before me
Yet having come this far, how could 1
admit the truth now, without losing the
precious confidence of Secretary MeN:
mara, the Pentagon, Detroit, the Ame
сап Ordnance Association amd perhaps
even the creditcard companies? I might

And
ed above
plastic
PRESI

go to jail for a security violation.
there was no w
my jacket breast pocket was
name plate saying: A. T. HADLEY,
DENT, HADLEY TANK COMPANY

But if I threw out my chest here in the
mud, slapped the tank hull, told my first
corporate lic and said, “Hadley Tank can
build her.” the results could be equally
disastrous. Some snoopy colonel or civil
servant favoring another defense contrac-
tor (though, with their track record, how
could anyone prefer them over us?) might
decide to investigate my plant. While I've
met plenty of colonels and civil serv
who pything strange in
building 40-ton tanks in a small cubicle
five flights up on West 53rd Street—as
long as the elevator worked—you can't
count on getting one of those every time.

Looking for a way out, I swung myself
professionally up onto the tank deck,

nts

vouldn't see

New Simoniz® Shines Like The Sun
premium car wax gives your car
ashine that starts brighter,

stays brighter than the leading

AN SIMONIZ,

Come rain or come shine.
It starts brighter, stays brighter
than the leading premium wax.

premium wax. And we guarantee
you'll like it. Or your money
back. From Simoniz, come rain
or come shine.

З топ” is a registered trade mark of Union Carbide Corporation, 270 Park Avenue, New York, NY. 10017.

249

PLAYBOY

250

THE ULTIMATE/ EXPERIENCE
ý

When the time is right, and the mood is light, go with
your feelings. Experience Champale * Malt Liquor,
Sparkling Extra Dry or Pink! Champale tastes like
alight bubbly wine. Champagne quality without the
champagne price. Tonight, let the good feelings come.
Celebrate life! Share a Champale...together.

© 1979 CHAMPALE, INC TRENTON NJ С]
TA CHAMPALE PRODUCTS CORP. NORFOLK. VA A
CHAMPALE "AND. CHAMP” АНЕ REGISTERED TRADEMARKS FOR MALT LIQUOR armor IROQUOIS BRANDS. й)

joking with the military-types-being-nice-
to-industry about where you stowed the
bourbon. Up close, the tank still looked
pretty solid—built to take a direct hit
from the strongest antitank weapon
known to man and just go “Clang” The
situation, though, looked hopeless: Where
could my company, talented as it was, fit
in? I mean, give us а few bolts of cloth,
some two-by-fours, papier-miché, a sew-
ing machine, glue and a bit of paint and
we could whip up a tank that certainly
would be light, would look fierce and
could be taken apart and put together
between acis. But that wasn't the prob-
lem here. Or not in the specs, as we
industry types s

I climbed into the tank driver's com-
‘tment with some hope that I'd see a
scat cushion we could sew or a headrest
we could needlepoint to make the crew
feel more at home and give Hadley Tank
something to bid on. But everything in
there was made of futuristic plastics
and stamped FIREPROOF. I knew there was
no use looking in the engine compart-
ment for something we could build, and
as for the gun and its aiming computer—
forget it.

Then, way in the back, through a little
slot on the inside of the turret chamber, 1
saw it. My heart leaped like that of some
Victorian poet smelling the first daffodil
before breakfast. Fixed to а bare spot on

the inside of the hull was a small black
sign with white lettering that said: po
OT FIRE GUN WITH TURRET IN THIS

rosttion. Undeniably a vital part of the

k. And I was totally confident the
A. T. Hadley Tank Company could man-
ufacture and install that sign

Unfortunately, the tank was crawling
with gray-flannel suits all loudly pro-
claiming their competence and eagerness
to get a piece of the action, so І was un-
able to swing the turret around and place
the gun in the position forbidden by the
sign to check out the consequences. How-
ever, a little thought, plus some late-night
research at the officers-club bar, con-
firmed the essentialness of the sign to
national defense, If some joker pulled
the tigger while the gun was in that
position, it blew off the driver's head.
Obviously, that could have serious con
sequences for morale.

Detailed examination of the sign con-
firmed my first impression: Hadley Tank
could bid on this subcomponent. V.P.
design Zipprodt was a fine artist; the
lettering would not challenge her. Love-
lady Powell was already starting in the
antique business—she'd find cutting the
little strips of metal for the signs with a
pair of shears child's play. Hell; we could
even subcontract that part and she could
just wim one end. As for fixing the sign
to the tank in the correct place, level and
right side up, that was a glue job. Here,
Armstrong was the key man, with his ex-
perience in stage construction. And while

he measured and smeared, Guinzburg,
who works out regularly and is in top
physical shape, could hold.

All our vast pool of talents would be
utilized, with several able to fill in for
onc another in the event of illness or
overwork. Also important, the president's
time was left free for such vital jobs as
coordination, шайр morale,
swering letters, receiving awards, finish-
ing his book and avoiding the next
Government contract.

How does it look to you, sir?”

I jumped. Deep in thought, I had let a

general sneak up behind me in the turret.
‘All right,” I replied noncommittally.

“Nothing here your plant can't handle,
sir?" Two “sirs” from а general in less
than 30 seconds: further proof of deep
trouble in the Army tank program. When
things are going their way, everyone is
“Hey, you” to generals, except members
of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

“Nothing is a pretty big word, General.
But after inspection of this prototype and
the engineering drawings, it appears en-
tirely within my company's capability to
construct certain. Component subsections
what I think you will find to be ama
ingly low cost.” I had that speech ready.

“With your experience in production,
do you see any problem:
“At the Hadley Tank Company, Gen-
1, T tell the staff: ‘Problems аге all in
(As further proof of the in-
credible successes of Hadley Tank's non-
existent products, I subsequently got а
letter from this officer informing me how
well components made by Hadley Tank
were performing in Vietnam. Was the
again, or was the general
a job when he retired?)

Truthfully, I did see one small prob-
lem; but no need to go into it right there.
How would trafüc get past the tanks
while they sat оп West 53rd Street, wa
ing for the glue to di
the Museum of Modern Art to the east,
the CBS building across the street and the
New York Hilton just west. Lots of traffic.
And the glue probably would take two
days to harden. (Of course, Guinzburg
wouldn't have to hold the sign in place
all that time; we could probably tape it
fter the first few hours) But if West
53rd Street had to be closed to all traffic
but tanks geuing their little signs fixed,
police problems could be forecast by alert
management. And those problems would
lead to a considerable cost ov in. Pi
haps even to our first shortfall.

So, in the end, I sent the Department
of Defense a letter appreciative of our op-
portunity to bid. I expressed confidence
in Hadley Tank's ability to perform vital
parts of the subcontract but regretted
that pressures on plant and personnel
made our ability to complete this work
on schedule doubtful. Clean a

Perhaps too clean. I must face the fact
that I probably lack qualities of tough-

er:
the mind."

ness and the willingness to gamble that
have made millionaires out of other de-
fense contractors. I later received a phone
call from a contractor who had best re-
main nameless.

“Is this President Hadley

Хез.

“Say, Art, congratulations! Saw in the
association newsletter about youall get-
ting that award.”

“Thanks.

“You know, we hold the basic contract
on the M89 Gun and Turret System.
Guess we beat you out on that onc,
ha-ha.”

“We didn't bid on that one.

“You didn't!”

No. Our design section saw several
basic problems we doubted could be over-
come at our facilities within acceptable
cost parameters.

"T wish we had your stuff, Li
in big trouble with that cont
you any plant space available for heavy
hydraulic press and couple? Name your
price. We'll have to soak the Pentagon
for a big cost overrun on this one.”

“How big?

There was a

long pause at the other
end of the linc. “Hell, Art, мете all in
this together; about a thousand percent."

“That's big. Listen, Fd like to help
you. We in industry have got to stick to-
gether or they'll stick it to us. Right?”

Right

“But I'd be lying to you if I said yes.
Every foot of floor space I've got—I
checked the floor carefully as I said this—
^is occupied.

I did have some couch space. But that
was occasionally filled by a winsome girl,
and I saw no reason to stop her visits for
some greasy new tank parts.

Sothing you could take off?”
Thinking about the girl, I failed for

instant to understand his questic
“No, we're gearing up for the Y-203.
The wha
It's pretty secret. It’s the one that uses
the laser and the minicomputer,

“Oh, sure, sure. We almost landed that
one ourselves.

What liars they all

With the end of U. S. involvement in

inam, activity at Hadley Tank, I'm

in industry.

glad to report, fell off. Looking back over

tence, I believe the
k Company compiled
a record of which both our staff and the
ution can be proud. We stayed small.
We sold no shoddy product. We never
misled the public, Our motto, “No tank
like a Hadley tank,” shows the lengths to
which we carried truth. All our em-
ployees were happy. We never stuck the
taxpayers for a single buck. Can other
major defense contractors say тоге? Can
they say half as much?

the 12 years of its ез
A. T. Hadley T:

251

PLAYBOY

252

Ж AC DE Lis

(continued from page 114)

“He turned and jerked and thumped like a lover; and
he whimpered, too, seeming to savor the pain.”

Petra. And he had ditched Ameena.
There seemed no end to his arrogance
or—what was more annoying—his luck.
He came back to the house alone. 1
vowed that I would not give hima chance
ny sexual boasting. I stayed in my
room, but less than ten minutes after he
arrived, he was knocking on my door.

"Fm busy!" 1 yelled.

“Doc, this i

He ente breathless, fever-
white and apologetic. This was not
someone who һай just made a sexual con-
quest—I knew as soon as I saw him that
it had all gone wrong. So I said, "How
docs she bump?"

He shook his head. He looked very
pale. He said, “I couldn't."

“So she turned you down." I could not
hide my satisfaction.

"She was screaming for it,” he said,
rather ргізу. "She's seventeen, Doc.
She's locked in a girls’ school half the
year. She even found a convenient hay-
stack. But I had to say no. In fact, I
couldn't get away from her fast enough."
iomething is wrong,” 1 said. "Do you
feel all right?"

He ignored the question.
said, “remember when Ameena barged
in. Just think hard. Did she touch me?
Listen, this is important.”

I told him I could not honestly remem-

The incident was so pathetic and cm-
ng I had tried to blot it ou
"I knew something 1 this would
happen. But I don’t understand it.” He
was talking quickly and unbuttoning hi
shirt. Then he took it off. “Look
Have you ever seen anything like it?”

At first, I thought his body was cov-
ered by welts. But what I had taken to be
welts were a mass of tiny reddened
patches, like fly bites, some already
swollen into bumps. Most of them were
on his back and shoulders. They were as
ugly as acne and had given his skin that
me shine of infection.

“It’s interesting," I said.

"Interesting!" he screamed. “It looks
like syphilis and all you can say is it's
interesting. Thanks a lot.

“Does it hurt?"

"Not too much," he said. “I noticed
it this morning before I went out. But
I think they've gotten worse. That's why
nothing happened with Petra. I was too
scared to take my shirt off.”

"I'm sure she wouldn't have minded
if you'd kept it on."

"I couldn't risk it,” he said. “What if
it's contagious?'

He put calamine lotion on it and

covered it carefully with gauze, and. the
next day it was worse. Each small bite
had swelled to a pimple, and some of
them seemed on the point of erupting:
a mass of small warty boils. That was on.
Sunday, On Monday, I told Sir Godfrey
that Jerry had a bad cold and could not
teach. When I got back to the house that
afternoon, Jerry said that it was so p:
ful he couldn't lie down. He had spent
the afternoon sitting upright in a ch;
Tt was that shirt,

S$ not a curse—Fm not supers
anyway. Maybe she gave me syph.”

"Let's hope so.”

"What do you mean by th
n, there's a cure for syphi

"Suppose it's not that?

"We're " I said.

This terrified , аз I knew it would.

He said, “Look at my back and tell me
if it looks as bad as it feels.

He с under the lamp. His
back was grotesquely inflamed. The erup-
tions had become like nipples, much
bigger and with a bruised discoloration.
I pressed one. He cried out. Watery
Jiquid leaked from a pustule.

"That hurt!" he said.

Wait.” 1 saw more infection inside
the burst boil—a white clotted mass. I
told him to grit his teeth. "I'm going to
squeeze this one.”

I pressed it between. my thumbs and
as I did, a small white knob protruded.
Tt was not pus—not liquid. 1 kept on
pressing and Jerry yelled with shrill
ferocity until I was done. Then I showed
him what I had squeezed from his back;
it was on the tip of my tweezers—a live

ср

maggot.
“It's a worm!”
“А larva.”

‘ou know about these things. You've
scen this before, haven't you?

I told him the truth. I had never seen
one like it before in my lile. It was not
in any textbook I had ever seen. And I
told him more: There were, 1 said, per-
haps 200 of them, just like the one wrig-
gling on my tweezers, in those boils on
his body.

Jerry began to cry.

‘That night, I heard him writhing in
his bed, and groaning, and if 1 had not
known better, | would have thought
Ameena was with him. He turned and
jerked and thumped like a lover mad-
dened by desire; and he whimpered, too,

seeming to savor the kind of pain that is
indistinguishable from sexual pleasure.
But it was no more passion than the
movement of those maggots in his flesh.
In the morning, gray with sleeplessness,
he said he felt like a corpse. Truly, he
looked as if he were being eaten alive.

An illness you read about is never as
bad as the real thing. Boy scouts are told
to suck the poison out of snake bites. But
a snake bite—swollen and black and run-
ning like a leper's sore—is so horrible I
can't imagine anyone capable of sta
at it, much less putting his mouth on i
It was that way with Jerry's boils. All
the textbooks on th could not have
prepared me for their ugliness, and what
made them even more repellent was the
fact that his face and hands were Iree of
them. He was infected from his neck to
his waist and down his arms; his face was
haggard and in marked contrast.

l said, “We'll have to get you to a

“A witch doctor.”

“You're serious!”

He gasped and said. “I'm dying, Doc.
You have to help me.”

Ve can borrow Sir Godfrey's саг. We
could be in Blantyre by midnight.”

Je aid, "I can't last until then.”

"Fake it easy," I said. "I have to go
over to the school. I'll say you're still
sick. I don't have any classes this after-
noon, so when 1 get back, ГЇЇ sce if I
can do anything lor vou."

“There are witch doctors around
here,” he said. “You can find one—they
know what to do. It's а curse.”

I watched his expression change as I
said, "Maybe it’s the curse of the white
worm.” He deserved to suffer, after what
he had done, but his face was so twisted
I added, "There's only one thing
to do. Get those maggots out. It might
work.”

Why did I come to this fucking
place?”

But he shut his eyes and was silent: He
knew why he had left home.

When I returned from the
("And how is our ailing friend?" Sir
Godlrey had asked at morning assembly),
the house seemed empty. Т had a moment
of panic, thinking that Jerry—unable to
stand the pain—had taken an overdose.
I ran into the bedroom. He lay asleep
on his side but woke when I shook him.

"Where's Jika?” I said.

“I gave him the week off,” said Jerry.
“I didn't want him to see me. What are
you doing?"

I had set out a spirit lamp and my
tools: tweezers, a scalpel, cotton, alcohol,
bandages. He grew afraid when I shut
the door and shone the lamp on him.

“I don't want you to do it," he said.
"You don't know anything about th
You said you'd never seen this befor

1 said, "Do you want to dic?”

He sobbed and lay flat on the bed. 1

school

Alive
with pleasure!

Newport

After all, if smoking
isn't a pleasure, =
whybother? — -

Warming: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking !s Dangerous to Your Health.

PLAYBOY

bent over him to begin. The maggots
had grown larger, some had broken the
skin and their ugly heads stuck out like
beads. 1 Ianced the worst boil, between
his shoulder blades, Jerry cried out and
arched his back, but I kept digging and
prodding, and 1 found that heat made it
simpler. If I held my cigarette lighter
near the wound, the maggot wriggled,
and by degrees, I eased it out. The dan-
ger lay in their breaking: If I pulled too
hard, some would be left in the boil to
decay, and that, I knew, would kill him.
By the end of the afternoon, I had
removed only 20 or so and Jerry had
fainted from the pain. He awoke at

nightfall. He looked at the saucer beside
the bed and saw the maggots jerking in
it—they had worked themselves into a
white knot—and he screamed. I had to
hold him until he calmed down. And
then I continued.

I kept at it until very late. And 1 must
admit that it gave me a certain pleasure.
It was not only that Jerry deserved to
suffer for his deceit—and his suffering
was that of a condemned man—but ako
what I told him had been true: This was
a startling discovery for me, as an ento-
mologist, 1 had never seen such creatures.

It was after midnight when I stopped.
My hand ached, my сус» hurt from the

glare and I was sick to my stomach. Jerry
had gone to sleep. I switched off the light
and left him to his nightmares.

He was slightly better by morning. He
was still pale, and the opened boils were
crusted with blood, but he had more
life in him than I had scen for days. And
yet he was brutally scarred. T think he
knew this: He looked as if he had been
whipped

“You saved my life,”

“Give it a few days,

He smiled. I knew what he was think-
ing. Like all liars—those people who
behave like human flies on our towering

TASTE

BEAM'S PREMIUM SOUR MASH.
YOU'LL NEVER DRINK
ORDINARY WHISKEY AGAIN.

You're in for extraordinary pleasure
every time you enjoy the extraordinary
taste of Bears Premium Sour Mash.
Clear Kentucky limestone spring
water adds its special quality. So do
101 months of barrel aging before the

whiskey is charcoal filtered.

The secret Beam recipe works a
miracle of flavor that we bottle as
90-proof Beam's Premium Sour Mash
Black Label, Ask for it by name.

AMERICA’S FINEST PREMIUM
WHISKEY...TASTE IS WHY.

80 Proof, Kentucky Straight Bourbon моі Distilled and Bottled by™

The James B. Beam Distilling C:

Clermont, Beam, Ky.

cedulity—he was preparing his expla-
nation. But this would be a final reply:
He was preparing his escap

Е said. "Тхе got some
"не

It was the dish of maggots, now as
s a rice pudding.

Get rid of them!"

“I want to study them," Т sa

think I've earned the right to do that.
But I'm off to morning assembly—what
shall I tell Inky?”

“Tell him I might have this cold for a
long time.”

He was gone when I got back to the
house; his room had been emptied and
he'd left me his books and his tennis
racket with a note. I made what explana-
tions I could. I told the truth: I had no
idea where he had gone. A week later,
Petra went back to Rhodesia, but she told
me she would be back. As we chatted
over the fence, I heard Jerr
She's screaming for it. I said,
horseback riding."

Super!”

The curse of the white worm: Jerry
had believed me. But it was the curse of
impatience—he had been impatient to
get rid of Ameena, impatient for Petra,
impatient to put on a shirt that had not
been ironed. What a pity it was that he
was not around when the maggots
hatched and saw them become flies I had
never seen. He might have admired the
way I pickled some and sealed others in
plasticand mounted 20 of them on a tray

And what flies they were! It was a
species that was not in any book, and
yet the surprising thing was that in spite
of their differently shaped wings (like a
Moslem woman's cloak’
their bodies (a slight pinch above the
thorax, giving them rather attractive
waists), their life cycle was the same as
many others of their kind: They laid
their eggs on laundry and these larvae
hatched at body heat and burrowed into
the skin to mature. Of course, laundry
was always ironed—even drip-dry shirts—
10 kill them. Everyone who knew Africa

knew that.

"s voice:

We'll go

nd the shape of

“T hate to tell you this, Rick, but
Tm still looking for Mr. Right."

255

WORKING THE STREET (continued [rom page 184)

PLAYBOY

through 27. 288A and three counts of
pandering. I don't know if I have that
quite right. Margold has it all taped and
loves to reel it off Fast in th cato de-
livery of |

“L was busted by Lloyd Martin. He's
a prude, of course, but very courteous
and charming, kind of like a social work-
er. He's trying to help you. What was I
doing in this, you Know, an educated
person like me? That sort of thing. I
think of him as a sort of Javert in Les
Misérables, а dedicued individual. m
guided, of course, but dedicated. I think
most of them are like that. The reports
of brutality are vastly exaggerated. 1
think they're 99 percent provoked by the
person being arrested. There's no reason
to hit these people and the vice cops
know it, They want to win them over,

show them the sugar instead of the salt.
Besides, these people are used to being
besten. Vice cops аге pretty much happy
their own way. If you make

people
your job entertainment, you tend to be
happy. And vice is entertainment, per-
verse entertainment, perhaps, but always
interesting.”

IALL OF JUSTICE, 850 Bryant Street.

This building is so bogus it would

have been rejected by Playskool toys for
lack of detail. Apparently constructed of

cardboard painted to look
máché, it is so gray you need radar to
find it on a foggy day.

nessy is eq

ly gray, but there is a glint of
genuine steel in his gun-metal eyes. His
gray suit, though perfectly tailored and
nicdy matched to а blue shirt and some
kind of reddish regimental tic, looks a
if designed то harmonize with prison
bars, The captain himself is rather he
Шу handsome, but they have to keep
this guy behind a desk because he would
empty any bar he walked into. The M;

1 liked him on sight.

In fact, the whole flavor of the vice
office turned me on. The black lady ас
the desk in the reception area was ur
pretentious and smiling and friendly and
gentle, The detectives wandering around
were guys you'd play stickball with, if
you played stickball. They were all really

people rather than people. There was a
big black dude an Yves Saint Laurent
it; a big hot female in tight denims
with lots of light wavy hair and an ass
that made you want to cup and squeeze

it; a double-knit-slacks and shirtsleeves
bebop-zoatee Dedini satyr barbered up

256 sharp by Ronald Reagan's hair stylist.

“If you make your job entertainment, you tend to be
happy. And vice is entertainment. . . .

The furniture was leftover high school
basement metal spray paint.
There was a row of small dark rooms
lined with grim beige tile—interrogation
inally been holding

certain sense of
forgetfulness. It was a limbo, a bland

blur in which very few details caught the
The very walls summoned up
es such as “To the best of my
recollection."

To the best of my recollection, then,

here are some scattered words and
images: New ini: ion with liberal
reputation creates. grapevine that San

ancisco is wide open. Arrival of 2000
prostitutes from all over to work summer
tourist trade. Ancillary crimes—beating,
robbing, dry hustles. Thousands of com-
plaints generated by nude encounter
joints that lead customer to belicve that
he will receive sex but give conversation
only. Streetwalkers accost dignified со
ples with comeons such as "I can suck
his cock better than you can, lady,” Bad
lor tourist business, yet
prostitutes. St.
of hustlers soli
robbing guests in rooms. Male hustlers.
Female hustlers. Transsexual hustlers
Hordes of hookers of various sexes com-

too. Very surprised when I tell him that
Cuba and China have both pretty much
eliminated prostitution. How did they do
it, by killing them all? No, mostly by
eliminating hunger. Well, that's. obvi-
ously not going to happen here ri
away, so it’s up to the police at least to
iain decorum. Its all only a ques
tion of money. The money of the St
Francis against the money of the pimps
nd prostitutes? Yes, but the St. Francis is
engaged in a legal business and. prosti-
tutes aren't, so we have no choice but to
enforce the law in the hotel’s favor.

Exit »ophy. Enter Lieutenant
Foss. Bald head. Sideburns. Big mus-
tache. Wild-West-railroad-engincer look
10 him, New on job. Determined-to-suc-
ceed bulldog tenacity evident in every
word and movement. OK. They are go-
ing to send me out for a ridealong
Blah
Blah will be great. They'll brief me, then
put me out on the street and when a
prostitute picks me up, ГШ help them
bust her. I am thinking that somehow I
can make the bust not stick. Aha! I won't
be able to be here to testify, anyway.

ad Blah, right? Yeah, В

Ergo, bust will not stick.

Foss is very concerned about how I
will convince p ie І am not a сор.
Do I have outofstate driver's license,
credit cards, out-of-town identification of
any kind? No. I don't have identifica-
tion of a kind. 1 don't believe in it
Also, Lalways lose the papers. Also, I am.
not allowed to drive anymore because I
space out and go through stop lights too
Also, I wear all credit ar-

I do have a checkbook, though. What
good is а checkbook without identifica
tion? They are a little astounded at my
total lack of paperwork. Don't worry, if
h a personal check in a Mexica
bank, I am sure that I can convince
streetwalker that I am not а cop. “You
scem to have a New York accent, there,
Jules, maybe you could play on that,
work it up strong.” It will not be neces-
sary, I assure them, but they are dubious.
It seems it's hard to convince a prostitute
you're not a cop.

Terrific. Tonight at 7:30, Blah and
Blah will come to my hotel room. Great,
VII treat them to dinner. What? Nothing!
We take nothing! Honest vice cops, scrv-
ants of the public weal, take nothing—
not even à гоот-ѕегуісе steak at the St.
Francis Hotel. They're a bit offended
that I would even dare suggest this. One
last rule: No names of undercover agents
to be used. Shake hands all round and
come out fighting.

SOLOMON'S DELICATESSEN, 424 Geary Stre
about ten р.м.

Liberals hate cops for seeing everything
in racial stereotypes, but to the cop, it is
merely a matter of daily experience, not
bigotry. Simply a useful tool of opcra-
tional psychology.
The reporter is Jewi
him a couple of Jewish cops who
him to a Jewish delicatessen and bu
а tongue sandwich on rye. H I had
Italian, would it have been an Ital
movie? If I had been black, would it h
been that dude in the Yves Saint Laurent
suit? Had 1 been Gloria Steinem, would
it have been Wonder Woman with the.
great as? I wish I had identified myself
tead of Jules Siegel.
ve these guys, hereinafter
помп as Al and Вор, their cover names.
Al could be any Mediterranean type,
dark hair, dark eyes, vaguely olive skin.
he's nattily dressed in a solid sports jacket
with brass buttons and coordinating
ks, shirt and tie, good smooth shoes,

h? Yes, let us give
ake

k socks. An automobile
maybe, or a studio musician, Herb Alpert
style. He's been in vice eight ycars, likes

the freedom of working undercover. Bob
has Tigh ‚ almost blond, eyes
that don't let you remember their color
because they are always moving, checking
out every corner and whipping around
again, briefly glancing at your lace as he

brown h;

SHOES FOR MEN

Roblee.
The Gold Standard

Handsewn vamps, kidskin uppers only lel Brown Shoe Company, a member of Brown Group, Inc. Roblee.

Supple handsewn kidskin in the season's most covetable color.

PLAYBOY

258

talks. He's very casually dressed, wearing
а tan plaid flannel shirt over his pants
a jacket. Cops always wear jackets of
some kind to hide their pistols. Both men
arc extremely catlike and alert. There are
strange lapses in the conversation as they
tunc into things I do not sec but sense by
their sudden lack of interest in me. Then
attention returns.

“It seems to me that you want to be
" I say to Bob, “but you are in
such a state of alertness that you stand
out from the background. Your eyes give
you away.”

“Yes, I know that,” he answers, “but
ve to work with it. I'm nervous,
. I'm looking around for my wife. I'm
ashamed. I'm afraid someone I know will
see me. Besides, the girl wants to believe
you. She wants to turn the trick. We can
make up any story about ourselves that
we want. And we do."

They laughed derisively when I told
them that Shaughnessy wouldn't let me
use their names. Everyone knows who
they are. The опе is a dead give-
away, a green Plymouth standard
California unmarked police car. 1t might
as well € a red light and a siren. "We
nyone in headquarters un-
derstand how wrong that car is" Al
complained when I cracked up at the
sight of it in the St. Francis garage. When
we drove out, they made me lic down
on the back seat, so that at least 1
wouldn't be fied with them. They
can catch experienced girls only by using
decoys.

We begin by cruising various nearby
streets and observing the prostitutes
working. It was like stepping backstage,
only there was no backstage, just а sud-
den change in my perceptions of where
I was. It had all been there all along.
The whores popped into view, standing
on strect corners, hanging out іп door-
ways. Watch that car. Its been around
the block twice now. A trick trolling for

date. Homosexuals camping outside
gay pickup bars. Pimps sitting in Cadil-
lacs. Neon signs crackling ghastly light
on tricks and whores stalking each other
on streets lined with cheap hotels. Sordid.
The word came alive to me. Car date:
Men picking up girls or guys and geuing
blow jobs in their cars. It made me shud-
der with disgust

When we sat down in Solomon's, a
pretty boy hustler in faded blue shirt
and jeans stopped to chat, vamping the
two cops, then disappearing into the
s room. Their view of thi
very clear. They sce themselves
to protect the Johns from the girls
their pimps, who run all kinds of
scams on them: the girls from the Johns,
who are often incredibly crazed and
loony: the girls from the pimps, who
beat them when they don't bring in
enough money.

Busting thc girls to kecp the strect in
front of the St. Francis orderly is not
their favorite job. They like investigative
work best. Theres a John who puts a
bag over the girl's head, ties her up and
leaves her naked on the street. He's done
that about ten times now, and a woman
vice officer has been posing as а prost
tute in order to trap him. So far, he has
led her, but she did run into one
k who told her he wanted to stick her
head in the toilet and fuck her in the ass.

Its time to put me on the streer. T
reach into my pocket to pay the check
and realize Гуе left my money in my
other pants. Oh, well. They pay for me.
Ont to the street. They'll y back as
I cruise the front of the St. Francis. If I
have a good bust, T'I brush the back of
my head with my hand as I talk.

‘A good bust is highly defined. Being a
prostitute is not illegal in 5 i
Soliciting is. So is keeping a house of
prostitution, which can be simply taking
you to her own place. Pimping—living
off the proceeds of prostitution—is also

“What say we blow this dump and go where the action is?”

a crime. They have now explained the
ritual of this to me three or four times,
and I nod yes, yes, like someone гесе!
ing complicated directions to a place he
does not really wish to go. Yes, yes, I've
got it. But do I? I begin to feel that it
really doesn't make any difference. I'm
not going to go through with it, anyway.
I just want to do cnough to get it over
h.

If she says, “Want some етет
ment?” that's solicitation and good
bust. So is “Looking for a date tonight?"
or any variation of that sort of comeon.
I think. Or does she have to bring up the
price, too? I'm ashamed to ask again. All
І know is that I'm not allowed to raise
the subject of payment directly, though
I can hint su They coach me
through the routine again.

Ahhhh, fuck, never mind. Let's go do
it. Walking down Gi mob
g in James Dean attitudes
on this side of the hotel, boy hustlers.
Some of them are just gays looking for
action, amateurs. As І turn the corner, T
find that boys seem to outnumber girls
by at least ten to one, but this ought to
be no surprise in a city with a popu
lation of some 700,000 where 150,000
people turn out for a iberation. pa-
rade. Sliding quickly past the hotel en-

ance, tying not to look back at my
cover. as 1 cross the street I find a girl
zingly beautiful blue eyes in the
doorway of a storefront who says, "Look-
ing for some entertainment?”

Sure. For a second. I am comfortable,
I know how to do this. It’s like picking
up a girl in Westwood. It's a chick. She's
really kind of attractive. God, she's great-
looking: nice crisp. delicate features,
white skin, black hair. pleasant voice.
Actually, T wouldn't mind taking her to

the movies righr now. We could go sce
Annie Hall. "Do you,

she says,

checkbook. "C. 1

апу LD?" Just a
see it? You don't h
name—you can cover it with your fi

She buys it, “Where a
ing?" The St, Francis. “I can't go in
there.” Does she have a place? "No."
Where can we go? There's a hotel she
knows nearby, but they won't Iet us check
in unless 1 have better LD, Ah, well, too
bad, What a relief. Some other time. Her
eyes hold me for a second.

“You have really beautiful eyes," I tell
her.

Thank you,” she answers politely, but
her mind is already elsewhere,

Back across the street to another door-
„ where а black girl is smiling out at
This time, йз even more like a
Absolutely
charming. Not my type, exactly, but truly
warm and friendly. “Looking for a date?”
Something like that, maybe. "What are
you doing in San i
er, here with the boo
Well, would you like to have some fun:

say-

me.
pickup. What a пісе girl.

Scientific Breakthrough —Patents Issued

PRODUCT
SLOWS AGEING

ARMOR ALL PROTECTANT
WORKS ON VINYL, RUBBER,
PLASTIC, LEATHER.

ARMOR ALL Protectant penetrates and
combines with surfaces on your car,

so they can ward off elements that cause
ageing. It's one product that can protect
and beautify vinyl tops, dashboards, seats,
door panels, tire walls, hoses under the
hood, even paint.

INCREDIBLY EASY
TO UsE. P»
You want your car to look great S WEB
with the least amount of effort
With ARMOR ALL Protectant,
you simply spray and wipe.
Because it's the only patented
product ofits kind, nothing works
like ARMOR ALL Protectant to
keep your new and old things
lasting longer and looking better.
Look for ARMOR ALL Protectant
at your favorite automotive or
drug store

PROTECTS THINGS WORTH KEEPING r»

“Wouldn't it be great
if it worked on people?”

PLAYBOY

260

What kind of fun? “Whatever kind of
fun you want” I don't have very much
money on me, only $50. "Let's not talk
about things like that out here. Let's go
to your room.” It's pretty definite that
even T can make an excellent bust on
this girl. She's so eager and bouncy and
alive and innocent. Yes, innocent. And
so 1 decide to shine it on. End the cx-
periment as cop.

I report back to AI and Bob. who are
having jolly laughs with a girl directly
in froni of the hotel entrance. Inside,
they tell me that she was joshing them
about me. “We know you've got a decoy
out there,” she said. “We saw you driving
by with someone lying down in the back
of the car." E; lert system, ladies
but knowing there's a decoy isn't enough
You have to know who he is. Fortunately
for you, it was me. Down via secret cle-
vator to the basement of the St. Franci
there on the walls of the narrow yellow
corridor outside the security office

ndreds of Polaroid photogr

1 of them identified

Магз next? Al is going to work the
streets. No thanks. Bob is going to check
out a swingers party with a policewom-
ап, No, I am not invited to go along on
t one, even if I take someone. “П
t be mostly w d. Maybe
some folks comi
figure out how to work our
doesn't sound like prostitution to me,
but we've received a complaint and we
have to check it out.” But I'm an expert
on swingers parties—that my last
assignment. Nope. Somehow I have the
feeling that the reason I'm not being
allowed to go on that one is because it’s
going to be fun

But it’s getting late, anyway. As I
return to room 457, I ast prom
couples necking and
ruck by the contrast w
I have just seen on the street, I dispas-
sionately make a mental note to figure
out how to work it into the story.

Just as 1 start getting undressed to get
into bed, Al calls. There’s something he
wants me to see at Central. Emergency
Hospital. Somewhat reluctantly, 1 go off
into the night a

was

y morning.

е turning here in the lobby
of the St. Francis Hotel. The lady is 19,
а baby-white Mississippi natural yellow
blonde with blue eyes, one of them closed
shut by а purpling greenish-blue shin
that is the dark climax of a swollen
bruise of brown and yellow flesh that was
once the cheek of a very pretty face.
Battered. Yes, battered. It is so bad it is
making mortuary shadows all over the
place. In the room, a photographer is
setting up his equipment. She calls her
mother, a chambermaid working in Seat-

de: “I will be there on the Amtrak
tomorrow. Try not to get too upset when
you sce me. I look really bad, but I'm

OK.” She is stripping naked. Her back
and sides are scrawled with weeping
welts, The skin is sliced down to the

quick in many places and has just begun

y
ing hot pink. Her story is spattering out
in bleeding fragments.

She met him in Seattle. He was a social
worker of some kind, black, so nice. She
was already turning tricks, just a few a
week to make spending money. It was so
much better than being a housewife. San
Francisco was the big time: all those
tourists. The tourists love prostitutes. It
was great there—she had her own corna
Shelley's corner. It was really fun having
guys tell her how beautiful she was. Yes,
there is heaven on the street, when you're
1 love, doing the work vou like, going
home and sharing it with your man. The
tricks are tricks. Occasionally they're
i But there are heavy terrors. /

to stop oozing, the wounds drying sh

Don't worry,” he reassured her, “I'm a
magician.”

Another produced a pistol in bed while
fucking her, put it in her face and
pulled the trigger on ап empty cham-
ber, and fucked her some more with
the weapon at her head. Her friend came
to the door. "God, wait until he comes!"
she screamed. "Just wait until he comes.

But going home with the money was
bliss. Then he had to have a new car. She
had to bring in $100 a day. He began
ng a lot about how his mother had
failed him. It had been fun when she
was just bringing in grocery money and
rent and мий to get high. It isn't fun
making love all day. That's what she
called it, "making love." But he had to

ave the car. One night, when she failed
to meet her quota, һе pounded her face
with his fists. She curled up into a ball on
the bed. He whipped her with a wire
coat hanger. She is whimpering loudly
as she tells this. "He turned me into

І do? Why? Wh

sobbing, frightened
squeal of a puppy being roasted alive in
з open fire for its master’s amusement.

He kept himself between her and the
door. When she tried to evade him. he
whipped her across the bed and out

the adjoining window. “It was my choice.
The wi the coat hanger. 1
thought, I'm not going to die. I crawled
back onto the bed and let him do it.” He
used three hangers. When one wore out,
he went to the closet and got another
and came out roaring and growling like
an animal. No one helped her. She was
just another white whore being whipped
by her black pimp. In an instant, while
his attention was diverted, she made it to

ndow or

and escaped. “I ran into an
arant where I used to take
ger screamed at me,
"What did I ever do to you that you are
doing this to me? He wouldn't even let
me use the phone.”

Enter the vice squad. “I thought that
they were going to tell me to get fucked.
But they were really nice. They really
cared about what had happened to me.”
And so she filed the complaint. “Those
whores"—she pronounced it hoeahs—
‘on the street, they really get down on
any whore who turns in her pimp, but I
don't care. He tried to kill me. How can
1 ever feel safe again on the street, know-
ing that he's out? I want them to put him
y forever. Forever.

awa

коом 2189, about eight р.м.

I'm waiting for Al to pick me up ag
This is my last session with him. Foss
had balked when I told him 1 w:
go out again. They hadn't made enough
busts last night because I was along. A
quota? No, there is no quota, but they
have to keep the pressure on, and busts
are the evidence that they are doing it.
But it isn't a quota.

“Tve been thinking about that girl,”
to АІ. "It's kind of like what's going
I] over the cou i
Jules. don't n

t complicated," he
Its his

п he gets опе,
s so in love. He's so lucky. He's so
He's so good to her, һе loves her
so much, shell do anything for hi
one has ever wanted her like this. And

then he turns her out, puts her on the
street because he's a nigger pimp and
that's what they do. And finally he beats
her up.”

“No, that's not what I mean. We're all
d of niggers. Yo

know, you never
have enough. You're never good enough
somchow. You've got to have that shiny
Its like we're all prostitutes and
we're out there on the street and the
television is driving us to do more, to
do more. And the speed keeps getting
ned up and all this crazy, erratic fran-
tic behavior gets more and more intense.
The liberal has to believe in the vie
less crime because he is the trick,

Al looks out the window. “You're right.
That's exactly what I'm doing. 1 am on
the street.

The car tonight is a dirty white Dodge
Matador with something wrong, with the
starter. Grind, grind, grind. Grind, grind,
grind. d, grind, grind. It's never
ich. The battery will die first.
ind, grind, grind . .. we're on our way.
We're going over to the Hayes Valley,
predominantly black area, for a sweep.
It has become a major pickup scene,
with whores everywhere, and tricks troll-
ing. It’s wide open. They're coming from

going to
©

ИЮЛ Nartini
here’s an elegant distinction between dining out and dining all-out
For the latter luxury, may we suggest а more subtle martini. :
Smirnoff over ісе with a splash оў mineral water.
To do it up really right, serve it up in your best frosted crystal.
Then garnish witha pe ion. Or with a pearl and an onion.

Sueworr e NOOKA взу E SEO mon
STE PENE MANSEE FÍS [OVSONOFPEUBLEN NC | RFE Я

PLAYBOY

262

everywhere, Over in Oakland, they know
that you go to the Hayes Valley to score
nd the whores are pouring їп, more
and more each night. The community
aming. The local legislator is put-
ting the heat on the cops because he's
getting the heat from his people. It will
bea mass arrest operation, bust them and
move them out, а squadron of vice cops
in their own cars trolling and picking
up car dates and busting them: Spread
the word. The heat is on in the Hayes
Valley. Let them know in Oakland that
it’s finished here. It doesn't really matter
if the busts stick or not. The important
thing is to make it so hot here you need
asbestos shoes to walk these strects.

Al is working transport. He'll hold the
busts in his car until they can be trans-
ferred to а paddy wagon and taken to the
Northern Station and booked, “I hate
coming over here,” Al says. “It's so de-
pressing.”

The car door opens and a sobbing
young black woman is hustled into the
back seat by a plainclothesman who
locks like optometrist, neat and
square and well scrubbed, and hands Al
her purse. She's sobbing loudly, the tears
rolling down her face: she's clutching her
face in her hands and choking. “Why
me? Why me? Oh, God, why me?” She’
bsolutely hysteri Why me? Oh! 1
just wanted to make a little money.” She
looks 1 cher, with big
square horn ses and a little
hat. Quite pretty and small and clean.
Have you ever been busted before?”
Al asks. His voice is harsh and angry and
her sobs are hurting
пае it. It's all so sick
and unfair and he knows it and
driving him crazy. This is it. A worst
moment. This is how he carns his salary.
He wants so bad for it to be her fault, so
that there will be some reason for this,
but he knows that she’s merely one more
victim.
es," she says, calming down some-
"but not here. | was busted for
ing when I w 19 in Chicago. I
wanted to get some money together to
get me some clothes so I could do some
modeling" Now she's sobbing again.
“My husbin' lef me ‘cause he needed
two womens. In Chicago. We've got
three childrens. The baby is five months
old. Milk is so expensive. He left me and
l came to Oakland to live with my
mother. I just can't live with my mother
no more, | just gor to have my own
place. When I was in the hospital with
the new baby, I had three nervous break-
downs.

"I thought I would come over here and
make a few dollars. You know, to buy
some things for the baby. A crib. Little
things. Get my own place together. But
1 didn't make no money. Oh, God, why
me? Last night, a trick robbed me. He
put a knife in my face and said, I

goin’ to give you no money for nothin’,
you black bitch, and he took the money
back from me. And now this.

“A black guy?” Al asks in that strange
harsh voice.

“Yes, a black guy.

“One of your brothers." This s
make him feel a little better. His voice
is so strained with thick sarcasm that I

feel, possibly not very accurately, that he
could easily be on the point of tears
himself if he allowed it to happen. “One
of your black brothers.

She is quiet now. He opens her purse
and shows me the contents. A roll of
toilet paper. A couple of tins of coco;
butter. “We call it boy butter,” he tells
me.

‘I had a knife, and I gave it to you,
would you book me for that, too?” she
ks.

“No, I won't book you for it. Give me
the knife

From somewhere on her person she
produces a miniature samurai sword, one
of those novelty things in a wooden scab-
bard, a wicked little weapon. We ше
sitting with our backs to her. I feel a
heavy psychic pain in the back of my
neck as Al hefts the knife lightly in his
palm.

“I got it after that trick robbed me.
I was so afraid
Do you think you would have used

Al asks.

“No, not unless it was my life. I'm
not a violent person. I just thought it
would make me [cel better to have it.
Are you on welfare?" he asks.

“Yes, I get four hundred and seven
dollars a month,"

“Well, you can't make it on four
hundred and seven dollars a month,” Al
s very gently.

You are doing this for the children;
are the other girls doing it for

Al is starting the engine again now.
At least 20 or 30 attempts and finally it
tums over, We're pulling up at North-
ern Station, where a paddy wagon is
ting. "How much will my bail be?"
е hundred dollars. She'll need $50 in
cash. I reach into my pocket and pull
$20 bill and hand it to her. She
starts sobbing again, and then she is
taken out of the car and the barred door
of the paddy wagon closes on her and she
is gone.

“Please don't tell anyone you did
that,” Al says. “It’s considered very poor
form.” For days afterward, every time I
think about this, 1 feel a tremendous
sense of embarrassment that I did not
give her the whole $30.

We are alone in the car again now.
Its quite dark. “WI
think of this?” I ask.

“We're separated," Al г

at does your wife

t first

t like it at all, but then she got

she didn
used to
“Any kids
“Three.”
We're in another parking lot and they
are still bringing them in. “This one’
a B," says the same cop who brought in
the sobbing black girl out in the parking
Jot, putting him/her into another car.
The boy is so much like a girl that there's
no way I would have been able to m
him for male—long brown hair, blue
eyes, fine features, nice legs in sheer stock-
ings, sullen pouting, bored expression on
his lipsticked mouth. "When you get
back to Oakland, tell your pals that the
heat is on over here,” the cop tells him.
"No one сусг tells me anything,” the
boy answers. “Why should I tell anyone
anything?” The voice is not a барву
swish but a perfectly petulant teenage
girl.

NORTHERN STATION, 11 P.M.

There are about a dozen of them in
here now, waiting to be booked. Now
that I see them in the light, I under
stand better who they are. Street pcople,
mostly. A few have neat, attractive cloth.
ing. Some are in tatters. It's really hard
to tell the boys Irom the girls. There
comes а point where you have to accept
your position in society, no matter what
your theoretical political and social opin-
ions may be. I am not one of them. I am
one of the cops, the enemy. The pol
€ protecting me from them.

A door opens and they line up.
pass through it. The door closes. A
wh ter, Al takes me back to the 5i
Francis and we say goodbye. He is a
hero. He is living an honest life. Maybe
he lies; maybe he is not Jewish; but he
knows exactly where he stands. Пе knows
exactly what he is doing. A no-bullshit
guy doing an ugly no-bullshit job in hell
б

Ah, it is so beautiful here in these

afternoon redwood-bordered meadows
on the other side of the Golden Gate
lge where we have come to score a
couple of ounces of Colombian grass.
"The hot tub isn't hot yet, but it’s just nice
to sit here in the sun. I am drained, 1с
ly drained. I've smoked a very potent
joint with the two pretty bare-breasted
girls in the neat litde cabin and now I am
wandering around alone because I can't
handle talking to anyone. What can I
tell them? What can I say? I have been
in the trenches for a few days and now
Lam in a rear area. And I can sce it
all, all the meanings. Everything makes
perfect sense, and it is terrifying.
t little knife. No danger, really.
But so close. The perfect touch of sym-
bolism to ke me understand. The
street is a razor. The razor is connected
to the assembly linc. It is all moving very
fast. And then I am sobbing with relief.

ExtraSensory

Reception.

Something happens the first
time you experience Midland
MicroPrecision™ electronic
tuning. Something way past
knowing you're hearing the
future in auto sound.

You might say the sensa-
tion is close to supernatural.
“Super,” yes. And certainly
natural. But it's technology,
not any spiritual force, you
have to thank.

Midland MicroPrecision
tuning is a high technology
signal search system that
locks on stations with micro-
processor precision.

You receive the very heart
of the signal. So you hear the
purest sound your system
can put out.

Only 3 receivers deliver
this ExtraSensory Recep-
tion—all from Midiand. You

can get it with AM/FM/MPX
alone, with cassette or
&-track.

Experience it today—
along with all the other high-
technology Midland Mobile
Audio products—at a dealer
near you. Midland also brings
you great innovations in CB
and television

IDL ANP EL
MicroPrecisiorelectronic tuning.

PLAYBOY

264

LADY CHASTITY (continued from page 190

“Then the landscape was replaced by a chunk of flesh,
thigh or hip, until he recognized a cheek. . . .”

when the first one appeared, auburn-
haired, the thin line of its lip pursed be-
neath the tangle of curls, it was directly
at eye level. The shock of it just inches
away forced his eyelid closed.

It had been years since he was this
close to a naked woman, having given up
sex for the same reason he founded his
ministry: because of his conviction that
women were the purest of God's creatures
and so to be held above the baser desires
of the flesh. He could not remember
when he last had an erection; and in
recent years, he had not even experienced
that phenomenon in sleep he referred to
as “the Devil's discharge.” Kneeling
there, he felt unclean, something dark
and viscous as oil oozing through him.
But he reminded himself of all that was
at stake and his eyelid popped back open.

The shower nozzle snorted, then hissed,
and it began to bead and glisten; a wig-
gling motion set in as thin rivers of
soapy water were drawn downward into
its waiting delta. He immediately saw
the limitations: While the hole afforded
maximum coverage of the genital region,
that was all it afforded. He was ponder-
ing how he would redesign the opening
while he watched it being lathered, trans-
formed by the Ivory soap into a forest of
snowy curls that made him feel cleaner,
relieved of some burden. Then the winter
landscape was replaced by a chunk of
flesh, thigh or hip, turning slowly, until
he recognized the conformation of a
cheek and finally the crack itself dead
center in his vision. In another moment,
the crack was gone and a new one jiggled
in front of him, darker and bushier than
the first, so that he could barely detect
the vault buried beneath.

For an hour they came and went be-
fore him, a chorus of varying sizes, colors.
and textures, all of them plumed. At
8:30, when the showers were turned off
and he stared into the empty stall, he was
exhausted—a strain that came from con-
stantly reminding himself that somewhere
up inside what he witnessed a soul ex-
isted—and he felt that he had undergone
some disturbing change. He did not be-
gin to understand it until breakfast
the next morning, when he found himself
trying to match what he had seen in the
showers with the sleepy, innocent faces
that dawdled over oatmeal. In the chapel,
while he preached against the dangers of
sexual pleasure, he kept seeing in his
mind’s eye the hair wet and beaded or
pressed flat and slick witn soap.

That night, not having decided wheth-

er to enlarge the existing hole or add
another higher up (he was afraid either
would give him away), he was back with
his eye to the storageroom wall. A half
dozen of them, one hai than the other,
twitched in front of him before he was
eye to crotch with the object of his search.
It stared back at him through the hole as
bold and naked as a prophecy. He closed
his eye and prayed for sustenance. When
he opened it again, the skin, smooth and
white as а baby's, seemed too bright to
look at; yet he couldn't take his eye away.
To his horror, the moist pink petals
seemed to be winking at him and he had
the uneasy sensation that, though sepa-
rated by a wall, they were in collusion.

Just then, the bald space was intruded
upon by a honey-gold bar of soap, oval-
shaped and tapered smooth at either end.
Through the hole, he could smell its
deep, musk fragrance. Unlike the others,
this girl did not dab daintily around the
edges. She held the forbidden bar firmly
inserted its tapered head inside her,
slidin and out, the steady slippery
motion, like the movement of a hypno-
tist's chain, mesmerizing Brother Bearle
until he felt something slide in his own
crotch and he quickly pulled himself to
his feet, afraid of what might happen if
he stayed. Short of breath, he stumbled
out into the hall, hoping to intercept the
girl as she left the bathroom, only to find
Sister Sharon staring curiously at him.

“Is there something wrong, Brother
Bearle?' She reached out a solicitous
hand to steady him, but he waved it away.

“Quite all right, Sister. Quite all
right.” He shook his head to clear the
dizziness just as the bathroom door
opened. Four girls came toward him
wrapped in their white terrycloth robes,
their faces pink and scrubbed. The door
opened again and another bevy of girls
came out smiling like cherubim.

“Good night, Brother Bearle, good
night, Sister Sharon,” they chanted cho-
ral style as they passed.

The next day, he was too busy with
last-minute preparations for the dedica-
tion to give much thought to the disturb-
ing occurrence of the night before. With
the construction crew, he tested all of
the Skytower's interior and exterior light-
ing, as well as the operation of the four
outdoor elevators. At twilight, he con-
ducted a complete dress rehearsal of
the ceremonies. As he was scooped up in
the bulletshaped Plexiglas elevator, he
watched Sister Sharon lead the virginettes
in a torchlight procession across the

beach. While he waited for them in
the Church in the Sky, aloft in the mar-
ble pulpit that arched above the slowly
rotating circle of rosewood pews, he felt
the majesty of a man in control of his
life. Behind him on a higher plane was
the Wurlitzer, larger than the one in Salt
Lake; and above that, higher still, the
12-foot statue of the Virgin. All around
him, through the floor-to-ceiling glass,
the ocean turned in his view, as expansive
as his mood.

“Tomorrow,” he told the virginettes
when they were assembled before him,
his voice more resonant and compelling
than ever over the $100,000 sound system.
"tomorrow, the Age of Lust will give way
to the Age of Purification and the Virgin
will be returned to her throne. The first
of you will go into the world as crusaders
to restore the true dignity of women,
pure beings whom men will kneel before
in respect and humility, not the wanton
creatures of so-called liberation.”

It was only later, after the virginettes
had left and he was alone, staring down
at the ocean that had turned a bruised-
gray color under the darkening sky, that
he began to worry again. Far below, a
small craft bucked the tide. It was too
fragile for the ocean's might and its hull
kept dipping beneath the waves. He was
reminded of the bar of soap disappearing
inside the pink depths and he tried to
obliterate the image, afraid that if it
remained any longer, he, too, might be
swallowed. But the hairless crotch re-
mained in his thoughts, as vast and
depthless as the ocean, demanding some
adjustment he was afraid to make. In an
effort to console himself, he turned to the
Virgin who towered high above the
Wurlitzer, hoping to find reassurance in
the unearthly innocence of her expression
and the thick white robe that shielded
her private parts from the lechery of the
world.

.
Candles in hand, wearing white-voile
dresses, baby-blue сарсу and matching

` bluetinted gardenias in their hair, the

virginettes were lining up on the terrace.
They seemed so pale and delicate, their
movements mothlike in the warm sum-
mer darkness, that Brother Bearle was
able to put aside the unpleasant business
of the crotches for the time being. From
his window, he watched Sister Sharon
dart in among them as busy as a hen.

The lights of the Skytower had just
been turned on: white floodlights at the
base that made the mirror disks shimmer;
blue neon rods, spoked like a wheel, that
blinked from the revolving roof of the
Church in the Sky; and above the church,
pinpoints of gold stars that rose in clus-
ters to the very tip of the spire. For
added flare—an idea he'd gotten from
the opening of a new McDonald's in the
downtown shopping mall—he had had

Ld Parliament
Cg E E ш o ج‎ nd [| ЫП ~

wa а ов MG. NIC.
ae =.
ГА Mil? ^

M a

MG.TAR
MG.TAR
99 мос. 0.8 MG. NIC.

Getting the runaround
trying to find a good tasting low tar?

Маі! you taste Golden Lights:

Aslowin tar as you can до |
and still get good taste.

‘Source comparative ‘tar’ and nicotine figures: ЕТС Report
May 1978. Of All Brands Sold: Lowest tar: 0.5 mg: tar,’
0.05 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, Golden Lights: Kings—
8 mg.'tar; 0.7 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC Method.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

PLAYBOY

two searchlights installed on the beach,
their thick shafts of light crisscrossing the
dark ceiling of the sky.

Stiff in his rented tux, he was adjusting
his hairpicce in the mirror when Sister
Sharon called to him from the terrace.
She was waving her arms frantically and
pointing toward the sky. “There!” she
shouted. “On the tower!”

‘The flasher, in her virginette dress and
cape, stood up on the roof of the Church
in the Sky. With the slow, studied ges-
tures of a ritual, she was raising her dress
up over her knees.

By the time Brother Bearle got down
to the terrace, she had made one com-
plete revolution, in the interim having
removed her dress. She stood naked and
poised, with the blue cape flapping be-
hind her in the wind.

“Why, it's one of my girls" Sister
Sharon was sobbing. “It’s sweet little
Susan Van Tassel.”

“ГЇЇ take care of this.” Brother Bearle's
eyes flashed to the parking area, where
the guests of honor, 500 of the Skytower's
most generous donors, were being assem-
bled for the procession, There was no
commotion to indicate they had yet seen
what was happening.

“What about the procession?” Sister
Sharon wailed, rubbing her hands to-
gether.

“Start on schedule,” Brother Bearle
ordered as he rushed off, convincing him-
self there was still time to stave off catas-
trophe. But when he got down to the
beach, he saw that a large crowd had
already gathered around the base of the
tower and the WKVD-TV news helicop-
ter beat in the air above the spire.

Where the hell's Billie? he complained
to himself as he pushed into the crowd,
bullying people aside with the sharp,
murderous tone of his voice. Where the
hell are my deacons when I need them?

At the entrance ramp, Murf, the school
custodian, detached himself from a group
of security guards and came running
toward him. “She said she just wanted to
go up to say a prayer. She said she just
wanted to say a little prayer before it
got crowded.”

Brother Bearle shoved past him. In the
elevator, an instrumental version of
Amazing Grace coming through the
speaker in the cone of the capsule, he
waited with as much dignity as he could
manage while Murf fidgeted with the
controls. Just before they lifted off, he
spotted Billie's sullen eyes staring at him
from the edge of the crowd. Their eyes
locked. Then, without the slightest ac
knowledgment, Billie slipped into the
surging mass of bodies and vanished.

“Infidel!” Brother Bearle muttered as
the capsule was sucked upward, his body
flat and rigid against the Plexiglas wall,
like a man about to be executed.

When the capsule rocked to a stop and

266 the door opened into the Church in the

Sky, he stood there hesitantly staring at
the empty pews, forgetting why he had
come. Then, adjusting his hairpiece,
which in his haste he had not fastened
securely, he stalked up the center aisle.
He crossed directly in front of the Virgin
but refused to give her so much as a
sideward glance.

Wind funneled through the sliding
glass doors just inside of which he con-
templated the narrow ledge where a
workman’s staircase twisted up onto the
roof.

"Maybe we oughta get the police,”
Murf suggested, following his minister's
gaze to the ocean 200 feet below.

But Brother Bearle swung himself
through the doors and gripped the iron
railings of the staircase. Far below, silver
in the reflected light of the mirror disks,
he watched the ocean swell in slow mo-
tion against the pilings. The rotation was
beginning to make him nauseated.

“Stop this damn thing, will you?” he
called to Murf, whose head bobbed in-
side the glass, his broad fleshy face apol-
ogetic, hangdog, before it turned away.

Brother Bearle started up the steps
just as the КУР helicopter swooped in
low over the roof. It dangled above him,
nose tipped forward and swaying, rotors
snapping at the air. An arm motioned
from behind the windshield and a Port-
o-Pak was aimed at him and he flinched.
With the wind pulling at him, he drew
himself up so that he could see over the
roof.

She faced toward the lights that
aproned inland up the peninsula, Her
arms were out at her side in the classic
Virgin position, the cape lifted behind
her in the wind, baring her ass. Then
she turned and he saw that her face was
unnaturally serene—drugged, perhaps, or
hypnotized—and her lips slackened to a
smile. Caught for a moment in the blind-
ing path of the searchlight, she appeared
truly unearthly and the power of all the
nether world’s perversity seemed written
in the Gospel of her pink hairless privates.

He wavered back at arm's length over
the ocean, but his rage gave him sudden
strength and he pulled himself up onto
the roof, where the wind was strong
enough to rip the hairpiece free of his
scalp. The chopper beat with such feroc-
ity directly above him he felt he was
being shot at; and far below, belonging
to some world he was no longer a part of,
the feeble lights of the procession curled
along the beach.

“Why?” he babbled to her, reeling un-
steadily, half-crazed and trying to remem-
ber the words of some prayer. “Holy
Virgin Most Pure,” he began as she took
a step toward him and extended her arms
to gather him in.

“Eat me,” she said, her words straining
against the clacking beat of the chopper.

In his confusion, he lunged for the

ends of her cape and tried to wrap it
tight around her. At that moment, the
roof began to shake and she fell against
him. He flapped his arms wildly to free
himself and knocked her off balance; the
roof jerked hard and ground to a dead
stop, the motion shooting her backward
over the edge. The cape billowed over
her head like a parachute, with her body
streaming like a delicate ribbon beneath
it. When she hit, the cape fluttered on
the surface of the water, held still a
moment, then sank slowly in a glimmer
of pale silver light.
.

“You can't blame yourself,” Sister
Sharon told him later that night, after
the police had come and fished Susan
Van Tassel out of the ocean and after
the crowds had been dispersed and the
virginettes put to bed. “The girl was de-
mented. On the surface, she seemed per-
fectly normal, but underneath, Satan had
devoured her soul.”

Brother Bearle said without

“Think of the others. Think how suc-
cessful you've been with them.”

But Brother Bearle, staring out at the
Skytower, which was dark now, still un-
baptized, and which looked less like a
house of worship than like a dark metal-
lic phallus hulking above the black
ocean, seemed not to be listening.

“Lust kills!” he warned later on the
Midnight Faith hour, Billie's vacant chair
reminding him the truest measure of a
man's strength was his capacity to endure
adversity alone. “We must never lose sight
of the fact that there is more—there must
be,” he added in a breaking voice, close
to tears, “more to life than a mere grovel-
ing to the needs of mortal flesh.” But even
as he said it, all he could think of was
Susan Van Tassel's pussy (he accepted the
word without hesitation now) haloed in
the flashlight beam the first time he saw
it, as if the true meaning of life were only
as wide as the space between a woman's
hips.

On the way back to the Bible School, it
seemed to dance inside his head, spotlight-
ed and disembodied, having survived the
destruction of her body: an orphan of the
spirit world carving out its territory. In-
side his room, it continued to haunt him,
kept him sleepless and distraught, calling
to its sisters in the rooms above, and in his
unnerved state he thought he heard them
responding, sighing like aggrieved cap-
tives through the stiff cotton panties the
virginettes were required to wear beneath
their pajamas.

Inan effort to find some relief, he wan-
dered out onto the beach, heading in the
direction of the Skytower. He rode the
elevator up and in the empty church lit
only by moonlight, he called aloud to the
statue of the Virgin. "Why hast thou for-
saken me?" In a way he did not under-
stand, he felt responsible for what had

WHY GO ABROAD WITH А

CREDIT CARD YOU VE OUTGROWN?

A ^‏ ر ر

You might think чеш = "E. UM TA
your present card is ade- з 4
quate for a trip abroad. But
if it's a bank card, it could
cramp your style in more
ways than one.

Diners Doublecard™
doesn’t hamper you with a
pre-set credit limit as bank
cards do. You can use your
card with confidence at the
finest hotels, shops and res-
taurants around the world.
And when you come home, 3
it’s nice to know you have the Diners cash or even to help pay your Doublecard
Cash Advantage," in case you need extra bill. Diners Cash Advantage is an extra
line of credit of up to $15,000* available
from The Chase Manhattan Bank, N.A.

And that's not all. Your Diners
Doublecard offers you no-fee traveler's
cheques, no-fee currency conversion,
emergency cash, $30,000 in free travel
accident insurance?* an automatic sepa-
ration of business and personal expenses,
and much more. Benefits that no bank
card can give you. So next time you go
abroad, pack a Doublecard. Honored in
more countries than any other credit card.
Pick up an application wherever you see
our sign, or call toll-free 1-800-525-7000.
(In Colorado call collect 303-770-7252.)

DINERS DOUBLECARD

Ў т

3812 ause
jerrREY RICE

3812 345678 0009

JEFFREY RICE
or! SALES MGR CATO JOHNSON tA

p
m

= = =
= тот ттан тн Revered Dot

only to
$2000 Sub

DIS MORE CARD THAN YOU'VE EVER HAD.

PLAYBOY

268

For color reproduction of Wild Turkey painting Бу Ken Davies, 19" by 21 send $2 to Box 929- PB, Май St. Sta., NY. 10005.

Wild Turkey Lore:

The keenness of sight of the

Wild Turkey is legendary
among woodsmen. Because
of the position of its eyes, the
bird can detect the slightest
motion in a circumference
of 300 degrees.

It seems fitting that
the name of America's
greatest native bird isalso
the name of America's
greatest native whiskey-
Wild Turkey Bourbon.

WILD TURKEY7101 PROOF

happened, that some flaw in his being had
set in motion an entire chain of events
leading to catastrophe. But he found no
comfort in the silent image. Her arms
were too far from him to offer reassurance.

In desperation, he climbed up onto the
organ, his feet on the keys producing
dirgelike tones, and then pulled himself
up onto the platform where the statue
waited. When he stood up, his head bare-
ly reached the Virgin's waist and he raised
his eyes in supplication. The uneyen light
of the moon played across the pastel colors
of her face, gave to her mouth a crooked
smile: not a virgin's smile but a hooker's.
Eat me, it said. He cried out in anguish,
gripping the statue around the waist and
burying his face in the plaster folds of her
robe until he realized exactly where his
mouth was pressed.

“Let me be born again!” he shouted in
prayer and at last felt the movement of
grace deep inside him. Closing his eyes,
he gave over to it: The white robe seemed
to part and he was being drawn through
the warm tube to her womb, where his
man's body lay fetal-curled, nourished
from within, comforted in a way that
touched off memories ages old; until he
felt himself beginning to re-emerge, not
with the difhdence of a child but with all
the curiosity of a tourist, rubbernecking
his way through the dark convolutions of
the tunnel, touching and feeling all that
there was to feel. As he saw himself near
the opening, his body began to shake. The
power of the grace surged through him,
taking his breath away as it strained to pry
him loose. Something clicked inside his
groin, like a clock being wound. Trem-
bling violently, he began to moan and in
a final effort to free himself, he pushed out
hard with both hands, in the process dis-
lodging the statue from its mount and
sending it tottering backward. When he
opened his eyes, he found it shattered be-
yond repair on the floor below him, his
cock intact and risen to take its place.

Breathing heavily, his body quivering
with years of pentup energy, he saw that
his flaw had been the failure to under-
stand the true purpose of his mission here
on earth, In his search for guidance, he
had ignored the voices calling to him from
inside himself and so had failed to min-
ister to the real needs of the faithful:
beginning with Monica Brady in his
Kindergarten class, the first girl to expose
herself to him, and including all the wom-
en at his revival meetings throughout the
years who had prayed to him to heal their
bodies as well as their souls. Turning now
to face the congregation of empty pews.
his own private Skytower reaching out
toward the infinity of the dark heaving
ocean, he felt ready for the first time, at
the age of 50, to accept the world for

what it was.

#7? 127
(ee

“Maybe if you tried a bit of pillaging first. . . ."

269

270

уо gurt (continued from page 173)

“Yogurt isa staple of an exec’s refrigerator, crowding
the Perrier, diet soda, olives and ice cubes.”

with preserves at the bottom; Swiss style,
with fruit mixed through it; or Western
style, featuring a little flavoring at the top
and preserves at the bottom. There's also
a Midwestern version that, like the Swiss
style, is laced with fruit, but boasts a bit
of extra syrup at the bottom.

“Red is the leading flavor," in the
trade lingo of Juan Metzger, chairman of
the board of Dannon, our largest yogurt
producer, “Next is blue, and then come
the yellows.” This translates as straw-
berry, raspberry and cherry, followed by
blueberry, plum and. boysenberry, with
apricot, peach, pineappleorange and
Dutch apple in the show position.
Among the more fanciful offerings are
peppermint stick, date walnut ripple,
peanut butter and peaches and cream.

The unflavored plain now is only ten
percent of the total output, and even here,
many people stir in their own toppings:
frozen juice, maple syrup, fresh fruit,
liqueurs, applesauce, catsup, chives, apple
or peach butter, canned minced clams,
cinnamon sugar or blackstrap molasses
and wheat germ, if they're of that per-
suasion. Metzger himself opts for "a
teaspoon of МВТ vegetable-bouillon
powder in a cup of Dannon's plain, at
the desk," when he's too busy to break
for lunch.

Like wine, yogurt is a natural food,
occurring spontaneously under favorable
conditions, when the temperature is right
and certain organisms are present. In
making yogurt, man simply imitates na-
ture. The milk is inoculated with lactic-
acid-forming bacteria and brought to

optimum temperature, between 105 and
110 degrees Fahrenheit. The little bug-
gers multiply feverishly, feeding on the
milk sugar (lactose) and converting it to
lactic acid. This, in turn, coagulates the
milk, transforming it into a solid. The
result has been variously described as
sour milk with a college education, cur-
dled milk or a cultured-milk product of
custard-smooth consistency.

Yogurt goes by many names—leben,
madzoon, yoghurt, dahi, naja—and it’s
made from the milk of sheep, yaks, water
buffaloes, mares, camels, goats and, of
course, cows. Considering that it's one of
man’s oldest foods, dating back to the
early Neolithic era, yogurt is an arriviste
in Western circles. The news was first
bruited by Russian Nobel laureate Iya
Mechnikoy, around the turn of the cen-
tury. He related the longevity of Bulgar-
ian centenarians to friendly organisms in
yogurt. Although the professor gobbled
yogurt with abandon, he died at the age
of 71, God's allotted quota but consider-
ably short of his expectations. Recent
experiments indicate that stomach acid
destroys lactobacilli—and_ cynical scien-
tists attribute the prevalence of spry old
Bulgarians and Abkhasians to a raffish
way with vital records, Nevertheless, the
health-food mystique persisted.

Tt wasn’t until yogurt shed the crank
image and producers sweetened its char-
acter with liberal doses of preserves that
yogurt turned chic. Today, it's practically
a staple of the executive refrigerator,
crowding the Perrier, diet soda, olives
and ice cubes, Avid skiers spoon it down

“First the good news. You have
astrong, healthy ego. Now the bad news.

It has no basis in reality.”

›

while waiting in the towline. Models
gulp it in cabs, en route to their next
assignments. Yogurterias are sprouting,
especially in smart, fashion-conscious
neighborhoods, offering such temptations
as yogurt sundaes, yogurt shakes, frozen
yogurt and a variety of other yogurt-
based dishes.

For some, yogurt is an involvement.
They roll their own, experimenting with
combinations of skim milk, low-fat milk
and whole milk, adding extra milk solids
or cream and varying the time of incuba-
tion. (The longer it cures, the more tart
and dense it becomes.) "There's no trick
to turning out yogurt at home with a
temperature-controlled machine, such as
the one Salton makes. Otherwise, it's a
hassle. Devotees find all kinds of esoteric
uses for yogurt. As it happens, yogurt's
sprightly taste makes it a versatile cook-
ing ingredient, as you'll see when you
sample the recipes that follow.

YOGURT ROMANOFF

% cup plain yogurt

1 tablespoon dried minced onion

2 teaspoons minced fresh dill (or 34

teaspoon dried)

Freshly ground pepper, to taste

2:02. jar red-salmon caviar

Combine yogurt with onion and dill;
add couple grinds pepper. Gently stir in
caviar. Serve with black bread or spoon
onto baked potatoes.

CRUDITES WITH JADE DIPPING SAUCE,

% cup plain yogurt
% сир mayonnaise
2 tablespoons each finely chopped
chives, parsley, dill
4 teaspoon lemon-pepper seasoning
Dash garlic powder
Salt, to taste
Fresh vegetables: cauliflower, broccoli,
tiny green beans, snow peas, aspara-
gus, zucchini, carrots, celery, cucum-
ber, scallions, red or icicle radishes,
cherry tomatoes
Combine yogurt, mayonnaise and sea
sonings; chill. You can use as many of
the fresh vegetables as you like—the
more the better. Cauliflower, broccoli,
green beans, snow peas and asparagus
benefit from a quick blanching. Trim
cauliflower and broccoli and break into
flowerets. Snap ends off green beans and
snow peas, but leave whole. Take tips
only of young asparagus. Bring large pot
of water to boil. Add vegetables and re-
turn water to boil. Drain vegetables im-
mediately and plunge into cold water.
Drain and dry gently but thoroughly
with paper towels. Chill. Other vege-
tables should be washed and peeled,
scraped, trimmed or cut as necessary.
When ready to serve, spoon dip into
bowl and surround with an attractive
arrangement of vegetables.
Note: This also makes a delicious sauce
for cold poached fish.
(concluded on page 272)

TWINCH is here. Keep it to yourself.

You don’t have to share JVC's TWINCH built-in FM/AM radio. Sophisticated micro-

—the two-inch screenTV with FM/AM electronics provide the clean, crisp sound you
radio —with anyone. Unless, of course, you expect from JVC. (After all, we're known for
want to. innovating in high fidelity.)
Take “The Big Game? You show up with So find your nearest JVC Home Enter-
your new TWINCH, which is about the size and ^ tainment Dealer by calling TOLL-FREE 800-
weight of a good book. You pull up the an- 221-7502. In New York State, call (212)
tenna, flick the instant battery power on and 476-8300. Then go for the versatileTWINCH
bingo — you're watching the game at the and keep it to'yourself.
game. Instant replays and everything. © Or better yet. pass the word. Maybe
The rugged TWINCH delivers a sharp, its time everybody got TWINCH, the

steady black and white picture. At the stadium take-along TV/Radio. From JVC Home
or a beach, out camping or in your car, Entertainment Division, Maspeth,
absolutely wherever you are. Sz NY 11378. viensis

But when you're in a C

sharing mood, turn on the
US JVC Corp.

271

PLAYBOY

YOGURT BOURSIN

1 pint whole-milk plain yogurt

у teaspoon salt

14 teaspoon freshly ground pepper

1 tablespoon very finely chopped baby

scallions (including green)

М teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon dried thyme, crumbled

Cheesecloth

Combine yogurt with seasonings. Pre-
pare triple-thick 12-in.square cheesecloth
and dampen. Spoon seasoned yogurt in
center of cheesecloth and tie opposite
corners together to form sling. Hang over
faucet of kitchen sink; secure with piece
of string, if necessary. Let yogurt drain 6
to 8 hours or until it has firm, creamy
texture. (Do this overnight if you don't
want to tie up your sink.) Refrigerate
before serving.

Note: If you like, you can put a bowl
under the sling to catch the whey as it
drains out. Chill for a tangy sip, some-
thing like sauerkraut juice. You can even
add a shot of vodka.

POTAGE TEHRAN
(Serves six)

1 quart plain yogurt

1 large cucumber

1 cup dried currants ог sultana raisins

% cup chopped walnuts or shelled

pistachio nuts
% cup chopped mint leaves (or 14 cup
dried)

14 cup chopped parsley

1 tablespoon olive oil

Water (optional)

Salt, pepper, to taste

"Thin slices lemon

Peel cucumber; halve lengthwise and
scoop out seeds with teaspoon. Coarsely
grate cucumber. Add to yogurt along
with currants, nuts, mint, parsley and
olive oil. Mix well. If you'd like the soup
a little thinner, in water—a few
tablespoons at a time—until it seems the
right consistency. Season with salt and
pepper. Refrigerate several hours, but
remove from refrigerator about 15 min-
utes before serving, so that it's not icy
cold. Stir soup and ladle into bowls.
Float lemon slice on each portion.

LASSI
(Serves three)
(Shezan, one of Manhattan's better
Indian restaurants, serves this libation
with sweetsalt seasoning, unless other-

wise specified. "Otherwise" is either
sweet or salt, but the combination is
typically Indian.)

1 cup plain yogurt

2 cups crushed ice

Y4 teaspoon sugar

% teaspoon ground cardamom

Pinch salt

Mint leaves for garnish

Buz yogurt, ice and seasonings in
blender at medium speed for 3 to 5

272 minutes. Pour into chilled tall glasses.

Garnish with sprig fresh mint and serve
with straws.

'YOGURT-CRUSTED CHICKEN
(Serves four to six)

% cup (approximate) plain yogurt
24-3 Ibs. chicken parts (breasts, thighs,
legs)

% cup dry bread crumbs

1⁄4 teaspoon salt

14 teaspoon garlic powder

14 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled

Freshly ground pepper, to taste

Remove skin from chicken pieces.
Spread thin coating yogurt on cach piece
and dredge in bread crumbs mixed with
seasonings. Bake in lightly greased shal-
low pan at 350° Е. about 1 hour.

VEAL AND WATER CHESINUTS
(Serves two to three)

% cup plain yogurt (at room temper-
ature)
1 Ib. veal scallops (cut from leg)
Flour seasoned with salt, pepper and
dash nutmeg

2-3 tablespoons butter (or salad oil)

1 small onion, finely chopped

1 large garlic clove, minced

% cup sliced canned water chestnuts

2 teaspoons sweet paprika

14 cup medium-dry sherry

Veal scallops should be pounded to 14-
in. thickness. Dredge in seasoned flour.
Heat 2 tablespoons butter or oil in large
skillet over medium heat. Sauté veal on
both sides until golden brown—3 to 5
minutes each side, Remove from pan
and keep warm. Add onion and garlic to
pan (and a little more butter or oil, if
necessary) and sauté until softened, Add
water chestnuts, paprika and sherry; sim-
mer until sherry is almost evaporated.
Stir in yogurt and bring just to simmer.
Return veal to pan and turn in sauce to
heat through—2 to 3 minutes. Serve with
noodles,

ZESTY BEEF STROGANOFF
(Serves six)

І cup plain yogurt (at room temper-
ature)
2 tablespoons salad oil
% Ib. mushrooms, sliced
1 large onion, halved and thinly sliced
11% lbs. boneless sirloin steak, cut in
thin strips
Y, cup flour, seasoned with salt and
pepper
2 tablespoons butter
Dash Worcestershire sauce
Heat oil in large skillet. Add mush-
rooms and onion. Sauté 5 minutes, stir-
ring occasionally. Remove from skillet
with all juices; keep warm. Toss steak
strips in seasoned flour to coat lightly.
Melt butter in skillet over medium-high
heat, until it turns golden and stops
sputtering. Add steak strips. Sauté, turn-
ing often, until lightly browned, about 3
minutes; meat should still be pink inside.
Return mushrooms and onions, with

their juices, to skillet. Add Worcester-
shire sauce. Stir in yogurt and cook just
until hot—do not boil. Taste for salt and
pepper. Serve with rice.

YOGURT ZOMBIE

14 cup plain yogurt

3 ozs. coconutrum liqueur

1% ozs. apple juice

Y, banana, cut in chunks

14 cup crushed ice

Buzz all ingredients in blender until
smooth, Pour into chilled tall glass. Gar-
nish with sprinkle cinnamon,

TORTONI AUX FRAISES

Although this tortoni is frozen, it has
a tender heart,

1 cup strawberry whole-milk yogurt.

9-02. container frozen whipped topping

2-5 tablespoons strawberry liqueur

4 tablespoons chopped tozsted almonds

Place frozen whipped topping іп re-
frigerator for several hours to thaw.
Empty yogurt into large bowl and add
liqueur. Combine. Fold in thawed
whipped topping. Spoon into small des-
sert dishes or foil cups. Sprinkle with al-
monds. Freeze until just frm, about 2
hours. If tortonis become hard-frozen,
transfer to refrigerator for about 45
minutes to 1 hour before serving.

MOUSSE A LA RUSSE.
(Serves six to eight)

1 cup plain yogurt

1 envelope unflavored gelatin

% cup sugar

8-02. can crushed pineapple

2 tablespoons triple sec

1 cup light cream

Combine gelatin and sugar in sauce-
pan. Add pineapple with its juice. Heat,
stirring, until gelatin and sugar dissolve.
Remove from heat and stir in triple sec
and light cream. Beat in yogurt until
smooth. Pour into serving bowl or indi-
vidual dessert coupes and chill until set,
about 4 hours.

BANANA CHEESE PIE

1 cup vanilla yogurt

Y Ib. small-curd cottage cheese

2-3 tablespoons sugar, or to taste

1 small banana, sliced

1 tablespoon honey

Grahamracker pie shell (available

prepared)

Push cottage cheese through sieve, Add
yogurt and sugar; mix until well com-
bined. Stir banana slices with honey to
coat both sides. Layer banana slices in
shell and spoon yogurt mixture over.
Chill until firm, about 5 hours.

Admittedly, yogurt is good for you,
but the best reason to eat it is that it
tastes good! Enjoy it at any meal or as
a relatively low-calorie between-meal
snack—foregoing the usual junk-food fix!

—EMANUEL GREENBERG

"| never knew
gold rum tasted
like this?’

That's the reaction that's made Puerto
Rican Gold Rum one of the most popular and
fastest growing liquors in America today.

People try it once. Then again and again.

Either on the rocks, or with a dash of soda
or your favorite mixer. Any way you try it,
Gold Rum is the smooth, delicious alternative
to bourbons, blends,

Canadians—even Scotch.

Try the delicious Gold Rums of Puerto Rico.

The first sip will amaze you. The second will
convert you.
Make sure the rum is Puerto Rican.

The name Puerto Rico on the label is your assurance
of excellence.

The Puerto Rican people have been making rum for
almost five centuries. Their specialized skills and dedica-
tion result in a rum of exceptional taste and purity.

No wonder over 85% of the rum sold in this
country comes from Puerto Rico.

PUERTO RICAN RUMS

For free “Light Rums of Puerto Rico” recipes, write: Puerto Rican Rums,

PLAYBOY

274

PAST THEIR PRIME

(continued from page 133)

“He despised losing and he hated losses even more
now that so few afternoons were left.”

become afraid of the rest of his life. But
mostly his fear was stoic, wreathed in
resignation, like the fear of certain brave,
old, dying men. Anyway, after the game,
he wanted a woman.

The pitcher felt а fulminating lust for
a particular tennis star and, when [
called her, she agreed to meet him with
one proviso. I would have to date some-
one she called her "new best friend."
That was the woman superintendent of
the brownstone house where the tennis
player cohabited with cats and fantasies.

The building super, I thought. A
woman who spends days stacking garbage
bags and reaming toilet drains. Dating
her would be some enchanted evening.
We would all turn into frogs, I thought.

But I owed the pitcher certain favors,

“What should I know about the ten-
nis player?” he asked me on the morning
of the game. He didn’t have to ask about
opposing hitters anymore. He knew all
their rhythms and their weaknesses. “I
mean, gimme a little scouting report on
the lady, so I can plan my moves.”

“Miss Center Court,” I said, “loves to
talk dirty, and if you don't press hard,
she gets wild and delicious. But she has
one peculiarity. She has to be the one
to talk dirty first. If the man comes on
raunchy, Miss Center Court turns off."

“Got ya,” the pitcher said, with a
confident nod. He then lost to the Yan-
kees, six to one, in punishing sunlight.

When the ballplayer marched into an

"Carl has just come in from the park, where
he's been watching the girls jog."

East Side bar at 7:30 that night, he was
swaggering bravado. Actually, of course,
he was covering up. He had always de-
spised losing and he hated losses even
more now that so few afternoons of
stadium sunlight were left.

Technically, he suffered from an irre-
versible chronic tendinitis in one shoul-
der. The condition would be annoying,
but not much more than that, for an
accountant or an internist or a bond
salesman. But this man was a major-
league pitcher, and chronic tendinitis
meant something more extreme. His
major-league arm was all but dead.

He looked at the tennis player and
blinked and smiled. She was attractive,
not merely for a lady jock. She was large-
eyed and lissome and she wet her lips
before she spoke. Abruptly, the ballplay-
er became desperately cheerful.

Say," dropping into a cap-
s chair, "you all know about the
city boy and the country girl and the
martinis? This here country girl had
never heard of martinis and the city boy
got her to drink a batch.” The pitcher's
tongue was brisker than his slider. “Fi-
nally, the country girl says, "Them cher-
ries in them maranas gimme heartburn.”

“The city boy, he says, ‘You're wrong
on all three counts. They're not cherries,
they're olives. Theyre not maranas,
they're martinis. And you don't have
heartburn, your left tit is in the ashtray.”

The pretty tennis player made a face
like a dried apricot. Then she and my
date, the woman superintendent, went
to the washroom.

“Dead,” I told the pitcher. “The
German word is tot. I believe the French
say mort. The Yankees knocked you out
this afternoon and you just knocked
yourself out now.”

“It's a good joke,” the pitcher said.
"I used it at a supermarket opening in
Largo, Florida, and they loved it, even
the mothers with kids.”

“We're north of Largo. Didn't you
listen to me? Miss Center Court has to
set the tone herself. If she lets guys start
the rough talk, it might seem as though
she's an easy lay."

“Isn't she?”

“That isn’t the question, The ques-
tion is style.”

The women dismissed us civilly after
dinner and the pitcher said, the hell
with them. He knew a Pan Am steward-
ess who could do unusual things with
a shower nozzle. He called and an an-
swering machine reported that its mis-
tress was in Rome.

“Forget it,” I told the big pitcher.
“Everybody has nights like this. John
Kennedy had nights like this. The dice
are cold. Let's go to sleep.”

“Stay with me,” the pitcher said. We
rode down to a Greenwich Village club
that was cavernous and loud with bad

We reinvented the 35mm camera
so others couldn't catch up. They haven't.

When Olympus examined the design concepts of
traditional 35mm SLR's, they recognized the need for an
engineering revolution: achieve quality without bulk,
sophistication without complication. The result is called
Olympus OM-1. The state-of-the-art SLR embodying the
latest technology in electronics, metallurgy and optics.
So advanced that others, while attempting to copy its
compactness, have failed to duplicate its sophisticated
internal design. * ОМ-1 is lightweight, yet professionally-
rugged. Compact, but with а viewfinder 70% brighter
and 30% larger than conventional 50%. And its

special air dampers make shooting exceptionally quiet
and vibration-free. All this, part of the most complete,
compact SLR system, with almost 300 lenses and
accessories to meet every photographic challenge.

No wonder OM-1 is Number 1. -

For the photographer demanding the lost word in automatic
exposure control, the one choice is the Olympus ОМ-2. А
quantum leap ahead of traditional SLR design, incorporating
the features of the OM-1 plus electronic sensor circuitry found
in no other camera's light measurement system. It's called OTF
("Off-the-Film") light measurement, because it measures the
light reflected off the film plane and the film itself, during
actual exposure. The result is a ronge of capabilities

found in na other camera in the world, including

automatic electronic flash whose exposure is

controlled by the OM-2's intemal light

‘sensors. And each frame is exposure-

controiled with motor drive (5 fps!)

and rapid winder (over 3 fps!).

Leam more about the incomparable

choice offered by the ОМ-1 and OM-2,

detailed in our free brochure, Write

OLYMPUS, Woodbury, New York 11797.

PLAYBOY

disco and empty of talent except for a
dark-haired teenaged girl from Albany.
The pitcher was quite drunk by now. He
scribbled love notes and sexual sugges-
tions on cocktail napkins, which a small
Spanish waiter delivered. The girl from
Albany paid her check and fled in fright.

A serious thought suddenly made the
pitcher sober. "I can't pitch big-league
ball no more,” he said

“You knew this was going to happen,”
I said.
was naked. "But now it's

One tear, and only one, rolled down
the man's right check. “Sheeyit,” he said,
embarrassed. “Shee-yit.”

“Like hell, shee-yit,” I said. “You've
got something to cry about.”

He was 39, hardly old. He was well
conditioned and black-haired and every
movement he made suggested physical
strength. Most would have called him a
young man. But because he was an ath-
lete, his time was closing down. He had
won premature fame at 22 and now he
was paying with a kind of senility at 39.

‘The adülatory press conferences were
ending. He would not again travel as
grandly as he had; he would never again
earn as much money as he had been mak-
ing. Already his manner with attractive
women had regressed. He was finished, or
he thought he was finished. The two
often are the same. I thought of Caitlin
Thomas’ wrenching phrase, created after
Dylan's final drink: leftover life to kill.

Santayana wrote:

Old Age, on tiptoe, lays her
jeweled hand.
Lightly in mine.—
Come, tread a stately measure.

"This may have been true for a philos-
opher, who sought out the stony tran-
quillity of cloisters, but time rings for
athletes with a coarser cadence:

Old age, in nailed boots,
wrenches at my limbs,
And stomps my groin.

In the usual curve of ascendancy,
the American male completes so-called
formal education in his 20s and spends
the next 15 years mounting a corporate
trapczc. If he is good and fortunate and
very agile, he will be soaring by 40. More
than that, he will proceed in sure and
certain hope that even more triumphant
years are beckoning.

Athletes follow wholly different pat-
terns. They soar almost with puberty.
Life for a great young athlete is different
from other children's lives, even as he
turns 14. Already he is the best ballplayer
of his age for blocks or miles around. He
is the young emperor of the sand lot.

With enough toughness, size, nutrition
and motivation, the athlete will feel his
life expanding into a diadem of delights.
He does not have to ask universities to

276 consider his merits and tolerate his

collegeboard scores. A brawl of jock
recruiters solicits him. If necessary, they
offer him а free year at prep school, final-
ly to master multiplication tables.

Assuming certain basic norms, the
athlete has a glorious pick of women.
Pretty wives are not an exception around
ball clubs; they are characteristic.

It is all a kind of knightly beginning
to life, isn't it? Doing high deeds, at-
tended by squires moving from stately
courts to demimondes? But most knightly
tales conclude with the hero full of youth.

І remember a marvelous quarterback
named Ben Larsen who dominated high
school football in Brooklyn. His passing
was splendid and he ran with a deceptive
gliding style. Perhaps 30 colleges oflered
him scholarships. He chose one in the
Big Ten, where the wisdom of football
scouts proved finite. Ben was suddenly
pressed harder than he had ever been, by
athletes of. comparable or higher skills.
He wilted quickly and never finished
college. He was the first of my acquaint-
ances to become an alcoholic.

Larsen's life reached its peak while he
was a schoolboy. For many, the climax
comes in college or as a young profes-
sional. Others (Carl Yastrzemski and Fran
Tarkenton) can play well and enthusi-
astically as they approach 40. Once an
соп, a Satchel Paige or a Gordie Howe
makes it to 50. Technical literature
doesn’t yet tell us much. Studying human
behavior is still a science of inexactitude.
But broadly, and obviously, we're dealing
with two elements,

The first is physical. An athlete must
be granted a good body, a durable body,
and—I hate to be the one to make this
point—he’d better take care of it. I don't
know whether or not all those careless
nights cut short Mickey Mantle's career,
but unvillingness to do proper pregame
calisthenics and to perform therapeutic
drills on all those hungover mornings
sure as hell cut off his legs.

"Then there is emotion, world without
end. How long can an athlete hold all
his passion to be an athlete? How long
can he retain all his enthusiasm for re-
petitive experiences?

One hot afternoon last spring, Johnny
Bench, Tom Seaver and I were riding
together to make an appearance at a
book fair in Atlanta. Bench at 26 was
the best catcher baseball has known. Not
perhaps; not one of; just the best. Last
spring, at 30, he was in decline.

Bench's batting average lounged below.
his old standard. He was getting hurt
frequently. His matchless play, his John-
ny Bench-style play, seemed limited to
spurts. "You get bored, John?" I asked
in the car.

"With what?”

“Catching a baseball game every дау."

“Do 12" Bench has a broad, expressive
face and he lifted his eyebrows for em-
phasis. "You know why I envy him?” he
said, elbowing Seaver.

“For my intellect," Seaver said. "My
grooming and my skills at doing the New
York Times crossword puzzle."

“Because he's a fucking pitcher,”
Bench said. “He doesn’t have to work a
ball game but one day in four. All that
time off from playing ball games. That's
why I envy Tommy."

Seaver grew serious and nodded. Both
men are intelligent, curious, restless. As
they grow older, and recognize that the
universe is larger than a diamond, it
becomes increasingly difficult to shut out
everything else and play a game. It also
hurts more. The human body was not
designed to play catcher from April to
October.

1: was also not designed to fight for
the heavyweight championship at the age
of 36.

Last September, I flew to New Orleans
to watch Muhammad Ali make a fight he
really did not want to fight. He won
easily over Leon Spinks, the St. Louis
Cypher, but a new sourness invaded Ali's
style. “It’s murder, how hard he's got to
work,” said Angelo Dundee, the sagest of
Ali's seconds.

The motivated athlete responds to the
physical effects of age by conditioning
himself more intensively. “That Spinks,
he looks like Dracula, but he's only
twenty-five," Ali said, in a house he had
rented near Lake Pontchartrain. "So I
have to make myself twenty-five. I been
up every morning, running real long, real
early for five months. Five months. I've
done the mostest exercises ever, maybe
three hundred fifty different kinds, so's I
could become the first man ever, in all
history, to win back the heavyweight
championship twice.”

For the first two rounds in the New
Orleans Superdome, Ali toyed with a
dream of knocking out Spinks. But all
the roadwork and the sparring could not
bring back the snake-tongue quickness
of the hands. Ali missed badly with two
hard rights. Then, yielding to reality, he
made a perfect analysis of Spinks's style
and how to overcome it.

Spinks had no style, really. Move in
standing up, move in, move in, punch,
lunge. Devoid of style, he still is strong.
and dangerous. From the third round,
Ali simply moved around and about
Spinks, flicking punches, holding, slid-
ing, holding, always staying three moves
ahead of the St. Louis Cypher. It was a
boring and decisive victory and it must've
hurt like hell.

Afterward, at a press conference in the
Superdome, Ali spoke in the crabbed
tones of age. First of all, this huge
crowd—70,000, give or take a few thou-
sand—had come to a black promotion.
“Wasn't no blond hair or blue eyes doing
no promoting,” the champion said. That
is accurate but only in a lawyerly way.
The man who put together Ali-Spinks IT

ing "tar; 0.8 mg nicotine av. par cigarette, by FIC method |

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
|

PLAYBOY

(and the marvelous undercard) is Robert
Arum, whose hair is black and whose eyes
are brown. He is, however, white. Under
the Arum umbrella, so to speak, two
blacks and two whites, all from Louisi-
ana, were subsidiary promoters. They are
now suing each other.

Having stretched truth until it
snapped, Ali offered a brief return to
his old form. “Was that a thirty-six-year-
old man out there, fighting tonight? And
not only fighting but dancing? Was that
dancing man out there thirty-six;
' “Thassright,” chirped a parliament of
votaries.

“That Time magazine,” Ali said, “that
great Time magazine, goes all over the
world, they wrote Ali was through. Could
Time magazine be wrong .. . ?"

Crabby again, he was settling an ac-
count he had already closed in the ring,
treating a buried story as though it were
alive. It was a graceless effort from a man
Dundee says now has to work too hard.

Why, then, does Ali drive on past his
prime?

Supporting himself and his children
and his wife and former wives and his
retinue and his properties, Ali said not
long ago, costs $60,000 a month, after
taxes, His investment income is far short
of that. He fights on because he believes
he needs the money.

б
Over three recent months, I explored
cash and credit, concentration and dis-
traction, professional life and profession-
al death—in short, how the jock grows
older—with 31 remarkable athletes. They
have worked their trades—baseball, box-
ing, basketball, football, hockey—from
San Diego to New England. One (Fran
Tarkenton) was sufficiently sophisticated
to evoke Thomas Jefferson. “Doing a
variety of things, like Jefferson did,
keeps you fresh.” Others (Lou Brock,
Merlin Olsen, Brooks Robinson) showed
positively Viennese instincts for self-
analysis. One (Roger Staubzch) declined
to be quoted because of the nature of this
magazine. (Debating morality with some-
one who makes a living out of the com-
mercialized, televised, knee-shattering
violence of the National Football League
tempts me, but it will have to wait.)

“Did anyone say that money had noth-
ing to do with why he kept on playing?"
asked Fred Biletnikofl. He's been a wide
receiver at Oakland for 14 seasons.

"Some said the money wasn't primary."

Biletnikoff drew a breath to prepare
his own comment. “You know,” he said,
“they're full of shit.”

Generally, the athletes were honest and
direct. Away from cameras, one on one,
athletes speak more honestly than enter-
tainers or politicians.

Most shared annoyance at America’s
blinding obsession with youth. They

27g found subtle prejudice against age in

certain executive suites. “In the front
office I have to put up with,” one 41-
year-old baseball player said, “they're
always looking for a reason to replace
me. Maybe it’s because a young guy
would cost less, but I think it's not just
that. They got a mind-set on the axiom
that baseball is a young man's game.”

Willie McCovey, the mighty first base-
man who reached 41 in January, is dis-
comfited by a particular fan in Chicago.
“There's this dude who sits behind the
on-deck circle in Wrigley Field,” Mc-
Covey reported, "and when I get a hit,
he doesn't make a sound. But every time
I swing and miss, I hear the joker holler,
“You're getting old, McCovey. You're
washed up.’ ”

McCovey shook his head in annoyance.
"That's shit,” he said. "Doesn't the guy
know 1 missed pitches years ago? Does he
think I never made an out until I was
thirty-five?”

"He's just needling,” I said.

“Well, I say needle with a little in-
telligence. Judge me by my performance.
Forget my age. I try to forget my age my-
self. Too much thinking about your age
can psych you. It can make you press and
panic and retire before your time.” Mc-
Covey believes that is what happened to
his friend Willie Mays.

Every geriatric athlete that I talked to
maintained an unabated passion for the
game. It was a passion to win, to prove
certain points, to keep on making money.
To those men, sport was no small sliver
of the consciousness; it dominated them.

Brooks Robinson, the fine third base-
man who played until he was 40, said,
“My whole life had been baseball. Pas-
sion? It sure was for me. In the eighth
grade back in Arkansas, I wrote a whole
booklet about how I wanted to be a ball-
player. That never changed. I kept on
wanting to be a ballplayer until my re-
flexes told me it was time to stop. By
then Га played almost as many big-
league games as Ty Cobb.”

"Didn't age hit you like a rabbit
punchz" I asked.

“The first time something was written
about my age, I was thirty. "The aging
Brooks Robinson, the story said. I
thought, What do they mean by aging?
I'm a young man. And I went out to play
harder. When they called me aging at
thirty-five, it didn't hit me either way. I
knew they were accurate in sports terms.
But then, when I was called aging at
thirty-nine, the thing became a challenge
all over again. It stayed а challenge until
I accepted what time сап do and got out,”

A few old athletes remain absolutely
juvenile in their enthusiasms. George
Blanda, the quarterback and place kick-
er, was 48 when he played his last game
in the National Football League. “Hell,
I didn’t retire even then,” Blanda said.
“They retired me. I enjoyed it. I always
enjoyed it. Proving myself week after

week. Ego-building week after week. Who
wouldn't enjoy all that?

“If you have the right conditioning
and you keep the right attitude, the air
smells cleaner, the food tastes better and.
your wife looks like Elke Sommer.”

Across the past decade, bi
has become an explosive growt
"That's fine for many investors and some
of the athletes, but growth industry is no
buzz phrase for fun. It suggests hard-
knuckled grabs for every dollar anywhere
in the country.

Newspaper reporters have concentrated
on the new high salaries paid to athletes.
It doesn't seem that important an issue
to me. Ballplayers are entertainers, tele-
vision performers. At last, Reggie Jackson
and Bill Walton are being paid on the
same sort of scale as Farrah Fawcett.
"Fhat doesn't mean, as some journalists
suggest, that the rich athletes will become
complacent. (Was there ever a less com-
placent team than the rich and magnifi-
cent New York Yankees?) It does mean
that the athletes work longer and harder
and so may wear out sooner.

A generation ago, majorleague base-
ball extended only from St. Louis to
Boston. The professional hockey season
was half the present schedule. Pro foot-
ball was a secondary sport. The sporting
life, the sporting pace was leisurely and
more conducive to longevity than to-
days Sunday-afternoon and Monday-
night fever.

1 was fortunate enough to begin cover-
ing sports before the disappearance of
the American train. Going from New
York to St. Louis was a 24-hour hegira.
You traveled in a private car and you
ate in a private diner and a drink was
never farther away than a porter's call
button. Moving at double-digit speeds,
trains gave your body a chance to adjust
as you crossed time zones.

“But jet travel now is part of the
package,” said Lou Brock, a major-league
outfelder since 1961 and the man who
broke Ту Cobb's record for stolen bases.
“Mentally, it doesn't make sense to elim-
inate or separate different aspects of a
baliplayer's life. If you want the cheers
and the fame and the money and the vic-
tories, you've got to accept the two-A.M.
jet rides. They go together.”

I first traveled a sports circuit in high
excitement. I had never seen the Golden
"Triangle in Pittsburgh or the lake shore
north of Milwaukee, or the drained ma-
larial swamps around Houston, lor that
matter. Like the young men in the old
stories, I ached for travel. Then, very
quickly, sports travel—as distinct from a.
pleasure trip to Cozumel—became a
minihell.

You had to be in St. Louis on four
simmering July days because the team
you covered was playing four games
there. Often that was the week when a
Chicago blonde called and said, “Please

(Advertisement)

GIFT GALLERY

Old & Rare Coins
3.95 BUYS ALL THIS: Old Indian Head.

LIMITED SUPPLY OF PILOT'S
GLASSES AVAILABLE NOW
AT REDUCED PRICES!

aTarantulas
ze)

Mint 25 yrs or Older, 1968 S-Cent Unc,
1969 S-Cent, Unc., Wooden Nickel

or $95 BUYS THESE TWO RARE UN-
CIRCULATED COINS. The mint made a
mistake bul we didn't. Now is your
chance to take advantage of their mis-
take, Rate 1960-D Small Date, PLUS
1955/5 Cents ‘Poorman's Couble ie"
or 6.95 BUYS EVERYTHING IN BOTH
ОЕ THE ABDVE SPECIALS,
PLUS
With Every Offer You Receive A Few ames, impact resisiant polished,

Starter Coins, A Free Catalog, 5 Asst. glass lenses and selective ray-scroen-

Foreign Coins, One lish Penney (Oirect ос рар leg eet
solutely guaranteed. If not satisfied, simply mail
From The Od Sod) Thor baek итп todays. Yeur money wil be retuned.

‘These precision

АМИ. PE "EROL

Abb LMELK ot боё ФЕТ...

Ay. ЖАК AN
Avis, kv. 95106

J. DeNINNO & CO.
Pike 5, Viewmont village
Scranton, Pa. 18508

(717)-961
Ада $ 50 for Postage.

United

-0203

aioe Optics бор. B
Gol or silver rames) SPECIAL:
'andiing charge. (Deluxe, velour-lined vinyl cases also available for only $2.00 ea.)

LIMITED OFFER FROM U.S. OPTICS

То order, send check ог E {include $1.00 for postage and handling) to

34206 Atlanta, GA 30324. (Ploaso spocify
rder now and get TWO PAIF for Te plus one dollar

The Shy Man’s Way To Meet Girls

“Most Men Are Too Busy Trying To Pick Up Girls To Meet Any”

Don Ricci had always been shy with girls-
That’s probably why he spent so many lonely
nights home alone.

Don is still shy with girls —but that doesn’t
matter anymore. Now he’s meeting enough
beautiful girls (in spite of his shyness) to keep
him happy for a long, long time to come.

For example — in just one week out of last
month, Don met six girls. Out of the six, he
ended up dating five. And outof those five he
ended up sleeping with three. (Pretty darn
ERST for à man who's half scared to death of
girls!)

Sound crazy?

Maybe so, But give us half a chance, and
we'll show you how to do the same. Give
us half a chance, and we'll show you how
to meet enough beautiful girls to last you a
lifetime

What's more — we're so sure that you
will meet girls our Shy Man's Way that
we're going to give you a rather “*dare-
devil” type of guarantee.

And Rere it is:

Try out our material for a full ycar. That
will give you plenty of chance to decide
whether or not it’s worth the $9.95 we're
going to ask you to send us.

Then, if you haven't met enough girls to
last you the rest of your normal lifetim
tum the material. We'll send you back the
$9.95 you paid for our material — plus —
we'll send along an additional five dollars
out of our own pocket.

hy would we do such a thing?

Because we know that our Shy Man's
Way To Meet Girls works. But you don't
So if we have to go out on a limb to prove it
to you so let it be.

Okay — now we're going to let you in on
a few personal facts about our friend Don
He doesn't like to brag, so we're going to.
do it for him. It's necessary — to prove that
sending for our material is the smartest
move you ever made

Don meets between eight and fifteen girls
a month. (The only time he doesn't is when
he chooses not to — for whatever reason.)

On the average — he ends up sleeping
with three new girls a month (every month).

In a six month period, nine different girls
asked him to marry them. (He turned them
all down. He claims he'd be an idiot to get
married now.)

He's always getting presents from
Shirts, sweaters. home-made food. (He re
fuses most of them).

He never has 10 worry about seducing
girls. If one doesn't want to sleep with him,
he simply moves on to another. There's al-
ways plenty to choose from.

And we'll show you exactly how he does
it — the Shy Man's Way

It doesn't require “good looks."
looks like any other average guy.

It doesn't require a "good personality."
Being bashful or feeling uneasy with girls
means absolutely nothing when you use our
material

It doesn't require **money."* Our material
works just as good for the poor as it does
for the rich

It doesn't require **youth."" We person-
ally know а 55 year old gentleman who's
getting all the girls he wants ... doing only
what we taught him.

Don

What does it require?

Desire. Enough to take a chance. Enough
to go ahead and send for our material.
Enough to put our principles into action
‘once you receive them

If you do just that much — no more, no
Jess — the results will be hard to believe:

Remember — we guarantee it.

Remember also — that you may not lose
your shyness. But you may soon be meeting
so many beautiful girls in spite of it that it
won't matter the least bit anymore

We gave Don a Ише wooden sign to һа
in his apartment. It reads: "Most men are
too busy trying to pick up Pirls to meet

Don't take as long as he did to find out
what it means.

The Shy Man's Way To Meet Girls is —
by far — also the easiest way. And we'll
prove it to you, if you'll just send in the
coupon now

We're not asking you to
Just give it a try.

If we're wrong, you'll get your money back
plus an additional five dollars from us. If
we're right, you'll soon have enough girls to
last you the next 50 years. Either way, you
come up a winner!

"believe" us.

964 Third Avenue !
New York, N.Y. 10022 1
!

1 don't know if you're crazy or not. but you can
count me in for sure. Send me the Shy Man's Way |
To Meet Girls. Here's my $9.95

ital age tatione
haven't met enough girls to last me a lifetime, | may |
return it for your special refund. If 1 do retum your
material, you will send me back my $9.95 plus an |
additional five dollars ом of your own pocket

T understand my material will be sent in à plain |

wrapper.

PLAYBOY

“Oh, that’s Abigail. She’s one of our more militant sisters.”

280

Sometimes
the guys who get hit the hardest
aren't even in the дате.

nme out for Alka-Seltzer:
The sound of fast relief.

acid indigestion and bring soothing
relief to your upset stomach. Even
after a couple of those footlong

hot dogs.

And Alka-Seltzer rushes relief
to your aching head witha fast-
acting analgesic.

It isn't often sports fans see
that kind of fast action, so here's
our instant replay: Plop plop, fizz
ЗЧ fizz. Oh, what a relief it is.

It can get prey rough up there in
the grandstands. Every year spec-
tators are clobbered by hot dogs,
Peanuts, popcorn,candy and beer.
And when 15,000 fansbegin to
roar, many are hit with pounding
headaches.

That's when you call time out
for Alka-Seltzer. Because the
plop plop, fizz fizz is the sound of
fast relief.

Alka-Seltzer is loaded with V
antacids that instantly break up j3 Е Read and follow label directions.

Plop plop, fizz fizz. Oh, what arelief itis! Fast, fast, fast.

281

PLAYBOY

282

You had to be in Philadelphia
when the team was there, or Bosto
Cincinnati. Human nature being what it
is, sports travel came down to a matter of
always going to the wrong place at the
wrong time with the wrong companions.

"I don't look at travel like that," si
Brock. "Not like that at all. To me,
travel is still exciting. When I thi of
travel, I ask myself, How else can I get
to my opponent? Get to where he is and
whip him:

Various athletes play tactical games
with time. Phil Esposito, the hockey for-
ward, keeps his weight 12 pounds lower
it was a decade аро. Tony Perez,

says that at 36 he is far
t anticipating pitches than he was
when younger. If you guess low slider
and the pitcher throws a low slider, you
stay in business. “You can sometimes beat
the younger guys with your head,” said
Dave Bing, the basketball player, who
decided to retire last August, when he
was 35. “You figure their weaknesses and
you play into them. But in the end. . .

Merlin Olsen, the Mighty Mormon
who played on the line for the Los
Angeles Rams across 15 seasons, believes
that athletes who endure are able to
anticipate danger. “It’s a kind of sense
you have,” Olsen said. "Don't push your-
self harder this time. Don't extend with.
everything you've got just now. There's
danger out there.”

T remembered the kindly horses in all
those terrible Western movies. The ani-
mals always knew that a bridge was out
or that a landslide would be gathering
its roaring strength or that 29 fect to the
left, under a clump of gray-green sage, a
sidewinder coiled.

“Good movie stuff, Mer! I said.
"Friends of mine have paid rent bills
writing sixth-sense themes, But practi-
cally..."

“Practically,” Olsen said, “I played i
the pits on a pro-football line for a long

time: Consider all that tonnage and the
carnage. But I was never seriously hurt.”
.

I have before me 27 pages of single-
spaced comments from professional ath-
lees, but curiously, or not so curiously, I
keep turning back to Lou Brock. “When
I think of travel, I ask myself, How else
can I get to my opponent? Get to where
he is and whip hii

Major sport is American trauma.
Crumpled knees drive halfbacks into
carly retirement; pitchers’ arms go dead:
hockey players slammed to the ice twist
in conyulsion. Before this onslaught, both
the body and the psyche tremble.

The complete athlete measures pain
against glory, risk against profit. He con-
siders what is left of his body and then, I
helieve, he subconsciously decides wheth-
er or not he wants to go on. In the end,
the difference between Carl Yastrzemski,
a star at 39, and Mickey Mantle,
sistant batting coach at that age,
wanted it more.

A temptation is to conclude with too

much certitude on so-called qualitative
distinctions among the nces of
rious athletes aging into other men's
prime time. Is Tony Perez, who grew up
in the balmy poverty of. Cuba, markedly
afraid hard times will come now in the
North? He says not. Is Gordie Howe,
who still works hockey at the age of 50,
dutching to the withered stump of his
boyhood? Hell, no, Howe says. His wi
hurt and his legs are gone, but he
loves playing pro hockey on the same
team as his sons.
This temptation to conclude too much
persists. To me it is rather like the saucy
little tennis player was to the veteran
pitcher. The object looks so damned
attainable; then, in a blink of too-bright
eyes, it is gone.

My journalistic interviews are not ex-
ons into therapy. You ask. The ath-
swers. You press a little. He tries

to be honest. You press harder. He thinks.
image. He also tries to be macho.
He tries to keep his dig You ask
some more. You think. And you move on.

So I fight temptations glibly to write
about predictable crises, self-flagellation
or variable testosterone levels. If I
hear and share a little of the bar of music
that is another man, I have my accom-
plishment.

The best and bravest and most com-
petitive athlete I knew was Jackie Robin-
son. Breaking the major-league color line
in 1947, he played with teammates who
called him nigger. Rivals from at least
four teams tried to spike him. The best I
can say for the press is that it was bellig-
erently neutral

What Jack did—his genius and his
to make obstacles work for
all him nigger and he'd get mad.
Mad, he'd crush you. Misquote him out
їсс and he'd take his
al pitchers, as though
re the boozy press. Bar him from
ing room of your hotel in Cin-
cinnati at lunch, he'd dominate your ball
park in Cincinnati after dinner.

It was a cruel, demanding way to have
eer burned out in a de
life ended when he was 53.
“This man,” the Reverend Jesse Jackson
intoned from the funeral pulpit, “turned
a stumbling block into a steppingstone."

That is the fundamental. Something of
what Faulkner meant in his famous
speech at Stockholm. It is not sufficient to
endure, he said. Man must prevail.

Only a few extraordinary athletes—
Stan Musial and Joe DiMaggio—are able
to prevail in retirement. Their glory in-
tact, they move from the ball park to
other arenas, still special heroes. Some,
like Jack Dempsey and Casey Stengel,
суеп achieve Olympian old age. All these
men learned how to transform obstacles
into steppingstones.

"Did Robinson know he was dying?

disgust out on r

they we

my friend Carl Erskine, once a Dodger
pitching star, asked after the funeral.
“I think maybe he did

“How did he bear up?”

“It was amazing. He was getting Ы
er and lamer every day, and working
harder and harder for decent housing for.
blacks.

a hero," Erskine said.
rt from baseball," I said.
But don't you think,” Erskine said,
“that disciplining himself the way he had
to, and mastering self-control and com-
manding a sense of purpose—don't you
think the things he had to do to keep
making it in baseball taught him how to
behave in the last battle:
Before that moment, I had a distaste
for people who saw sports as a metaphor
for life. Where I grew up, life was less
trivial than a ball game.
"I never thought of that till now," I
said, still learning.

It tastes like real apricot.
Naturally.
Because its Leroux.

Sip a Leroux Apricot and you'll think you've picked it off the
tree. That’s because only true fruit flavors and the finest of
natural ingredients are good

enough for Leroux International
Liqueurs. Once you've tasted
Leroux, no other liqueurs will do.

The Leroux Apricot Sour.
Mix % oz. lemon or lime juice, 1% oz.
Leroux Apricot Flavored Brandy, 1 tsp.
М sugar, 1 oz. fresh orange juice. Shake,
E strain, garnish with orange
slice and cherry

Ки Jed m =:
Lerou ernational Liqueurs -Ss
From France, Italy, U.S., Austria, and Denmark. Е C
СОП For free recipes. write Generol Wine 6 Spirits. Вох 1645 FDR Station. N.Y.. N.Y. 10022

AUS o

_ Why dont most 19” —
diagonal television sets cost
as much as this one?

Its because the attractive Quasar® set pictured
above offers you some of the most innovative features
| you can find on any television set. And they're all in the
regular price. Including remote control! :
| This set gives you Quasar's highly advanced 100°
deflection Dynabrite* picture tube with its extra focusing
lens for an incredibly sharp, clear picture.

And you get our Dynacolor® tuning system that
constantly keeps the color picture perfectly balanced —
even if the signal from the station :
varies. (Its so sophisticated it even
adjusts picture brightness to
changing room light!)

Unlike most tele-
vision sets which have only
one speaker, this set
has three speakers.

For sound so big

it'll make every

show richer, fuller

and more exciting.

makes television special again.

Quasar Electronics Company, Franklin Park. Illinois 60131

(We even included a tone control and a balance control
for greater listening enjoyment.)

And only our set offers you Quasars own
Compu-Matic™ Touch Tuning. With a sophisticated
built-in microcomputer that lets you switch silently,
directly, instantly from channel to channel.

. But perhaps the most important thing our set
gives you—that no other can—is Quasar's famous
reliability. It may not seem important right now, but it
could mean everything to you in a few years. So if this

how much more
youll get from it in
the years to
come. And see
if you're not
willing to pay
a bitextra for
all those extras.
заядлы PICTURE

FASHION

GET ON THE BAND WAGON

R emember that TV ad advising viewers that while they (іе. And as with a tie, who wants to wear the same old watch

looked at their watches, close friends were checking band every day? The ones below have plenty going for them:
out their watch bands? It happens to be true. Your They're good-looking, very inexpensive, interchangeable and,
watch band says as much about you as your choice of іп the case of the striped ones, reversible. Strike up the bands!

DON AZUMA

Above, left to right: This striped band reverses to solid blue, by Trafalgar, $1.50. Next, a ribbed style, $1.25, and a checkered one, also $1.25,
both by Neet. More stripes, this time by Mormac, $1.50, reverse to red/black, At center: А superthin 14-kt.-gold quartz watch, by Concord,
about $780, is on a Neet band, $1.25. Another Trafalgar band, $1.50, reverses to narrow stripes. It's next to a ribbed one, by Neet, $1.25.
The red/black one, by Mormac, $1.50, reverses to thin stripes. And the last striped one, by Neet, $1.25, reverses to a solid light brown.

285

STYLE
MAGIC ACT

llusion is basic to the multiple-use furniture designed by trade. Whether he's working on an elm writing desk that can be
professional magician and master carpenter Dakota Jackson. magically transformed into a dressing table or the glass, copper
Having once constructed his own intricate stage props, and lacquer audio visual complex pictured below, there's always
Jackson now heads a Manhattan company staffed by more to Jackson’s creations. than first meets the eye. But, unlike
craftsmen to whom he has taught some of the tricks of his former other top magicians, he's willing to reveal his designing secrets.

Below and right: Designer Dakota Jackson's
most ambitious project is this 7 Y; x 12"
free-standing audio-visual complex with
dark-glass doors that open at a touch to reveal
space for whatever electronic goodies the
owner wishes to house, including hi-fi gear, a
television, a minicomputer for coding sound
levels, lighting, etc., and movie and slide
projectors. The unit’s $30,000 price doesn’t
include the gear pictured here.

Left: This satellite section is a soundproof
rolling projection booth that's capable

of housing up to four projectors (an
umbilical cord links the booth with the
console's central control unit). The
copper-fronted drawers are for storing

а collection of films and slides.

Right: At the center of Jackson's creation,
there's room for two turntables, which
mysteriously rise into view for playing—
and disappear just as quickly by your
touching them. LPs for the turntables are
conveniently stored іп the lower-right
cabinet behind padded leather doors.

GEAR
WEATHERING HEIGHTS

ne would think it was enough to get up, shower, shave,
make sure your socks were of the same general design
and color, and you'd be set for the day. But, пооооо.
You can faithfully perform all those little rituals and
still walk outside smack into a downpour. Here are six items to
make life easier. They're weather radios and what they do, in

response to your turning them on, is to hone in on one of the three
National Weather Service wave lengths, which, in turn, gives you
an instant forecast for your area. The forecasts are repeated, giving
you time to fully understand them, until you turn the device off.
Each of these weather watchers does its job very well, and if you
have one, there is no excuse to be barometrically uninformed.

id-state Weather Monitor features a sound warning alarm thal is activated by a weather alert, even when the set isturned off, by Midland
ternational, $49.95. 2. The Bearcat Alert switches to battery power automatically if there is a power failure. It also has a flashing weather-alert
signal, by Electra Co., $79.95. 3. The Storm Alarm enables you to switch to all three weather channels. It has both sound and light warning systems,
by Weatheralert, $59.95. 4. The compact Forecaster operates опа nine-volt battery, from Weatheralert, $24.95. 5. The Weather Reporter workson
four penlight batteries, from Lafayette, $24.95. 6. Weather Alarm Monitoradio turns itself on during an alert, by Regency Electronics, $49.95.

287

288

— GRAPEVINE

There Is Nothing Like a Dame

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN looks deucedly surprised by the news that
Queen Elizabeth has appointed her an Officer of the Most Excellent
Order of the British Empire. We're not surprised, though. Dame Oliv.
ia had a socko movie debut in Grease, cut a chart-breaking duet
called You're the One That I Want with some guy named Travolta and
gave the royalties from a new song to UNICEF. Good show, Olivia!

Shake Your Booty

Superstar Needs Help Dept.: BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN and his E Street Band made an ехігаог
but there are times when even a dynamic performer such as Springsteen can use some a:

PATERSON] LIAISON

She Ain't Heavy, She's My Mother

Behind every great man or on his lap is his mother. Our proof? Pro-
ducer ROBERT STIGWOOD out fey ani ight оп the town with his
mom. Stigwood has had a couple of years in the movie and record
businesses that would make anyone proud, what with Saturday
Night Fever and Grease. We won't talk about Sgt. Pepper, sonny.

les of last year,
the strippers.

ary comeback after the legal
ince. Which, we suppose, expl

Meat Loafing

A real heavy of Seventies rock ‘n’ roll, MEAT LOAF—
a.k.a. Mr. Loaf by the starchier critics—presses the
scales at 300 and the record charts in the hot 100.
Now we know what's meant by a one-man band.

1 Did It My Way

SYLVESTER STALLONE has been in trouble ever since
Rocky— trouble at home, trouble on movie sets, trouble
with reviewers. And now, with this photo, we're predict-
ing more trouble in his old Hell's Kitchen neighborhood.
Those guys never even heard of Regine’s disco and the only
fur coats seen around there are worn by cats and dogs.

The Emperor's Clothes

TED NUGENT placed fifth in our Music Poll Pop/Rock guitar category last month,
and now there's a pinball machine based on an illustration of him that appeared in
Oui magazine. So what with one thing and another, busy Ted just hasn’t had time to
drop in on his tailor; but with all the recent publicity, who needs clothes, anyway?

PATERSON / LIAISON

z
=
2
=
=
©

289

PLAYBOY’S ROVING EYE

What Has Eight Wheels and Boogies?

When Linda (“Heart like a Wheel") Ronstadt donned roller skates for the cover of her
latest album, the course of history was changed—into the shape of a roller rink. The
“sport of kids” is sexy—just take а glance at the street people of Venice, C;
Celebrities tend to do it in the dark at roller discos. Shown here are Jean Stapleto
Penny Marshall „ Tanya Tucker, Ben Vereen and Pam Dawber, alias

292

FLY THE FRIENDLY SKIES
When Japan Air Lines introduced in-
flight sleeping compartments, officials
were caught napping in the ensuing
ruckus. First, female cabin attendants
fumed when male passengers de-

manded sleeping partners. Then male
attendants were incensed when female

А convenience on the trail: Early Winters,
Ltd. (110 Prefontaine South, Seattle,
Washington 98104), presents the zipless
whiz—its Velcro-seamed QP Shorts
($19.95). They're the best thing since jerky.

sleepers asked for back rubs. Male and
female attendants staged a walkout.
Now the strike is settled and the sleep-
ers are back, with the stipulation that
they are for sleeping only. JAL offers
five beds, partitioned by thick vinyl

Our grab bag of photos from readers dedicated to upgrading "бех №
а nature study sharp-focused on a rock formation in Western Australi

SEX NEWS

curtains, to first-class customers for an
additional fee. The 11-hour flight from
Los Angeles to Tokyo will run you an
extra $120 in the sleeper. If your budget
can take it, adjacent sleepers are avail-
able. Of course, the wily traveler might
reserve one and ask a friend in to look
at his airline emergency instructions.

WE CAN'T BELIEVE THIS

The Third International Congress of
Medical Sexology recently convened in
Rome. James D. Weinrich, a sex ге-
searcher at Harvard, delivered a report
that related sexual preference to 1.0.
His conclusion: Homosexuals tend to
have higher 1.0.5 than heterosexuals.
Obviously, he has never listened to the
Village People.

THEY WORK WHERE OTHERS PLAY

Here are a few more tidbits that we
garnered from the sexology conference
in Rome. Patricia Gillan, a London psy-
chologist, discovered that stimulating
the clitoris with a vibrator causes sus-
tained reflex contraction of the muscles

5 around the vagina, a reaction not de-

scribed in previous research. The con-
traction, in effect, makes the vaginal

5 entrance tighter for penetration. An-

other vote for technology. Meanwhile,
the home-team sex researchers were
far from silent. R. Davis and G. Fabris,
authors of The Sexual Life Cycles in
a Catholic, Male-Supremacist Society:
The Case of Italy, found that the famed
Italian macho male actually begins reg-
ular sexual activity after the female. But
female sexual activity nose-dives by the
age of 35. Fifty percent of Italian fe-
males have no sex after menopause.
Men, having access to prostitutes and
younger women, remain sexually active
much longer. That's amore.

THE NO-THRILL PILL
Researchers at Wesleyan University
in Connecticut have discovered a new
side effect of oral contraceptives—di-
minished sex drive at mid-menstrual

Last year, a Chicago North Sider made

s with a novel business venture:
a seminude car wash. We wondered if
they did motorcycles. Alas, police closed
the place before we were able to find out.

cycle. Lower mammals increase sexual.
receptivity at mid-cycle, the period of
ovulation. Researchers wanted to see if
the same held true for humans and
whether or not hormone changes pro-
duced by the pill would alter the situa-
tion. In the study, 35 women between
the ages of 21 and 37 kept diaries in
which they recorded actual sexual en-
counters, masturbation and arousal due
to visual stimulation. Female-initiated
sex peaked during mid-cycle for wom-
en using I.U.D.s or diaphragms and for
those whose partners used condoms or
had vasectomies. Pill users suffered a
decrease in masturbation and female-
initiated sex at mid-cycle. In other
words, while the pill user might say yes
at mid-cycle, she's less likely to say

please. Ba

included this tasty snap of a Nova Scotia fast-food joint and
Does it all give you wanderlust? Keep those shutters cli

this Fisher high fidelity system
sounds better thàn а Е

Many high fidelity manu-
facturers design components
—and let it go at that. But
when it comes to combining

those componentsinto a music
system that will give you the
best sound for your morey,
you're often on your own.

Fisher does things different-
ly. When we introduced high
fidelity 42 years ago, we
learned that components have
to be performance-motched to
do their best. So today, we're
still engineering complete,
all-Fisher systems to sound
better because they're system
engineered. Carefully matched audio
components, like the exciting new
ACS1870 system shown here, that
are designed to perform perfectly to-
gether to bring you the optimum in
superb sound.

In this system, we started with our
new RS2007 Studio Standard*
AM/FM stereo receiver. It has Fisher's
unique built-in graphic equalizer that
lets you tailor the music to your exact
taste. More of the vocalist or heavier
on the bass, and so on. By boosting
or cutting each of the 5 equalizer con-
trols, you can easily transform "ho-
hum" sound into the most exciting
you've ever heard. The.

RS2007 has a full 75 watts
min. RMS per channel

into 8 ohms, 20-20,000 Hz,
with no more than 0.07%
total harmonic distortion.

‘Cassette deck wireless
remete edit control.

Next, there's the revolutionary
Fisher CR4025 cassette deck with
Dolby* noise reduction—the world's
first tape deck featuring wireless
remote electronic editing. Now, with
just the push of a button on the wire-
less remote unit, you can eliminate
any unwanted segments from an
album or broadcast while you're re-
cording. For the first time, tape record-
ing is truly practical and convenient!

You also get the Fisher MT6224C
Studio Standard tumtable with
Fisher's exclusive 120 pole linear
motor direct drive system—so
smooth and reliable that it carries

ACSIB70

Fisher's unique 5 year drive.
system warranty.

To finish off this great
sounding system, there's a pair
of Fisher ST440 speakers.
Each has a 12", high power
Fisher model 1275 woofer, in a
tuned bass reflex enclosure, a
5" Fisher model 500 mid-
range, and a 3" Fisher model
300 tweeter, perfectly inte-
grated into а matched, high
efficiency system.

The super sounds of the
АС51870 can be yours for
about $1400** complete with
а handsome component
cabinet. You can hear it along with
other great Fisher systems from
$299.95** at selected audio dealers
or the audio department of your
favorite department store.

“Dolby is registered trademark cf Dolby Laboratories.
**Manulacture's suggested retail value, Actual selling
price determined sciely by rhe individual Fisher dealer

New quide to buying high fidelity equipment
Send $2 lor Fisher Handbook, with name end.
address to Fisher Corp.. Dept. H:

21314 Lassen St. Chatsworth, CA 91311

2 FISHER

The first name in high fidelity."

€ 1979 Fisher Corp . Chatswonh, CA 91311

Curious, these Americans.
Many pass jud тет
оп ап importe
before trying allt ree,

To decide on one of the great imported
English gins without sampling all three is like
marrying the first man or woman who
comes along. It might work out, but what
might you have missed?

We'd hate you to miss out on the gentle
gin. But, rather than invest in an entire
bottle, order your next drink made with
Bombay.

Judge for yourself.

If you still prefer another, what have
you lost? But if you favor Bombay, think
what you might have lost.

Bombay
The gentle у,

Опе of the 3 great gins imported from England.

‘Carillon Importers, Ltd., N ¥,06Proof,100% grain neutral spirits

NEXT MONTH:

SPINNING GOLO TURBO CARS

ОАМСЕ GIRLS.

“CRUEL SHOES AND OTHER STORIES"—FROM HIS NEW
BOOK, A COLLECTION OF WILD AND CRAZY TALES BY THE IR-
REPRESSIBLE STEVE MARTIN

“INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY"—THEY HAVEN'T MADE IT
YET, BUT SCIENTISTS MAY BE ON THE VERGE OF EXTENDING OUR
LIFE SPAN TO 200 YEARS. THE BAD NEWS: FOR 100 OF THEM,
WE'LL BE OLD—BY RICHARD RHODES

“А BAY CHANGE"—ON A VISIT TO FIRE ISLAND, A MAN FINDS
HIMSELF THE PAWN OF LESBIAN LOVERS. A TALE WITH AN ODD
TWIST—BY ELLIOTT ARNOLD

“PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR"—IT'S TIME FOR DEBRA JO
FONDREN TO RELINQUISH HER CROWN TO... BUT WE'RE NOT
TELLING TILL LATER. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO HANG IN THERE.

“ME AND THE LEADERSHIP CRISIS"—CONCERNED ABOUT
THE LACK OF SKILLED GUIDANCE IN SOCIETY? FORGET IT. IN
THE FINAL ANALYSIS, GENERALS SCREW UP A LOT. YOU CAN
DEPEND ON ONLY YOURSELF—BY JOHN SACK

*'TWISTER!"—OUR FAVORITE OKIE CORRESPONDENT RELATES
THE JOYS AND THE TERRORS OF TRYING TO STAY ALIVE IN
THE TORNADO BELT—BY JAY CRONLEY

“A RIGHT TURN TO TURBOS"'—WHAT'S ONE ANSWER TO THE
DILEMMA OF ECONOMY VS. PERFORMANCE ON THE ROAD?
TURBOCHARGERS—BY BROCK YATES

“SPINNING GOLD INTO GOLD'"—AN ON-THE-SCENE REPORT
OF THE HYPE AND HUSTLE SURROUNDING THE FIND OF A
$50,000,000 TREASURE GALLEON—BY ROGER SIMON. PLUS:
“TEN TOUGH TREASURES"—THE BEST BONANZAS STILL OUT
THERE—BY JOHN GRISSIM

“DANCE-HALL GIRLS"— RETURN WITH US IN PICTORIAL FAN-
TASY TO THOSE GLORIOUS DAYS OF YESTERYEAR, WHEN MEN
WERE MEN AND WOMEN WORE FANCY GARTERS

“THE MAGICIAN OF LUBLIN"—TITILLATING TIDBITS FROM
THE NEW MOVIE STARRING ALAN ARKIN AND VALERIE
PERRINE AND INTRODUCING MAIA DANZIGER

MENTHOL: 8 mg. “tar”. 0.6 mg. nicotine, FILTER: 9 mg. “tar”,

0.7 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette, FTC Report MAY 78. Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined

К N That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. f
N ———g v
E
a ۹ ® a
ale / à
de.

“Reals got dynamite taste!
Strong...more like a high tar.”

The strong tasting low tar.

€ 1978 R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Co.

The Royal Carriage.
A Fathers Day gift for the king who has everything.

imprinted on the Royal Carriage

This new Crown Royal pourer
is a most elegant way to serve the (up to 20 letters).
world’s finest whisky. Mail to: Royal Carriage, Dept.
To order yours, simply send $14.95 © PLI, РО. Box 6000, Ronks, PA
(plus local and state taxes where appli- pS ml 175 717. Nor Seed ыз delivery.
cable) together with your name and " Offer may be withdrawn without
address and the name you want 9 ) пойсе.

Internet Archive Audio

Featured

Top

Images

Featured

Top

Software

Featured

Top

Texts

Featured

Top

Video

Featured

Top

Mobile Apps

Browser Extensions

Archive-It Subscription

Save Page Now

Full text of "PLAYBOY"

See other formats