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THE
DOROTHY
ISTRAT TEN
STORY.

BEYOND
' ILE OSCARS!
e PLAY BOY CITES
(НЕ YEAR'S
BEST, WORST,
WEIRDEST AND
WILDEST:
EMERYTHING
GOOD NEWS | Ж REALLY
FROM THE = ry ww* TO THE
EASTERN FRONT PA viEs FOR

BEAUTIES
OF THE
BALKANS:

Introducing

The first
ultra low tar
built on

taste. _

РАНА,

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

1А

LET IIT TELS

New
Winston

Ultra

The first ultra low tar

Imagine. Now you can watch the
А magic of the great entertainment
you want to watch, just by playing

е a record. Because now RCA
e next movie you see сс
home entertainment break-
through ever: the RCA Selecta-
may De on a record, vissen
And we want you to know all
about it. So we've answered some
U of the questions you might want
Introducing ће `“
LN
RCAVideoDisc (— —-
Ideo | = = |
| =
System. | im.
Whatis RCAVideoDisc anyway?
RCA VideoDisc is a system that
combines an extraordinary player
with extraordinary records. Records
that play pictures and sound
through your own TV.

= What canIsee?
Right now, there are nearly a
hundred titles available. Recent
movies like “Grease? “Saturday
Night Fever,” “The Godfather,”
“The Muppet Movie? and “The
Black Stallion? Classics like
“Casablanca? "Singin' in the Rain}
and “The Ten Commandment

"There are also concerts by some
of the world's best performers.
As well as children's shows, docu-
mentaries and instructional films.
Tn addition, CBS will soon be selling
videodiscs that will be compatible
with the RCA VideoDisc Player as
well. Which means you will have
even more titles to choose from.

Howisthat different fromTV?
RCA VideoDisc offers you the
movies you want to see, in the way
they were meant to be seen: un-
interrupted. And you see them
when you want to see them,
not when someone tells you to
see them.

How doesit work?
RCA VideoDisc uses an extraor-
dinary technology called the
“Capacitance Electronic Disc”
System. It
combines a
uniquely engi-
neered diamond
micro-stylus
with a remark-
able conductive
disc. The stylus
glides over the
disc and elec-
tronically reads
the information
| | encoded in the
СЕО grooves. This
——— electronic
information is
then played through your TV.
With normal use, the stylus is
designed to provide years of service.
And because the discs contain 38
times the grooves of an ordinary
audio record, you get up to an hour
per side playing time.

What kind of picture

quality canlexpect?
Excellent. It’s a picture that’s clean,
sharp, colorful. Here’s why: The
RCA VidcoDisc plays directly into
your TV. So there are no ghosts.
And no weak pictures because of

weak signals. You've just got to
sce it.

Is it hard to operate?
No. The player hooks up easily to
your TV. The discs are easy to
play, too. Just insert the protective
disc sleeve into the slot on the
player. The disc is automatically
removed from the sleeve, and plays
when you flip the “play” switch.
Your hands never touch the disc.

How about special features?
RCA VideoDisc has the features
you wantand need. A Rapid Access
button that lets you skip to any
place in a program in seconds. A
Visual Search button that lets you
visually find the part of the
program you want at 16 times
normal speed. And a Pause button
that lets you stop a program to
answer the phone or the doorbell.

What will the RCA VideoDisc
Player cost me?

Less than $500: Which is sur-
prisingly low for what you’re
getting. That’s because RCA has
put in the features people want and
need while keeping it at a price
they can afford. The discs are
surprisingly inexpensive as well.
About half the cost of a pre-
recorded video cassette tape.

What will the RCA VideoDisc
System do for me?
RCA VideoDisc is an extraor-
dinary new form of home enter-
tainment. It may well change the
way you see movies and change
the way you watch television.
With RCA VideoDisc, you can
gather a collection of fine enter-
tainment to watch whenever you
want to watch it. With RCA
VideoDisc, you can watch the best
in family entertainment, at home,
with your family. With RCA
VideoDisc, you can see those
movies you used to miss.

With RCA VideoDisc, you can
see outstanding stars in concert,
watch sporting highlights, take
cooking lessons, and soon. In short,
when you find there’s nothing on
television you want to see, RCA
VideoDisc will give you access to
many things you want to see very
much.

So visit your КСА VideoDisc
dealer. Have him demonstrate

the remarkable RCA VideoDisc
System. And bring the magic
home.

Here are some of the titles

available on RCA VideoDisc.
The Godfather French Connection
Grease 20,000 Leagues
Heaven Can Wait Under the Sea

Escape from Alcatraz Тһе Love Bug
Butch Cassidy and the Fiddler on the Root
‘Sundance Kid The Graduale.
M*A*S*H Elton John In Russia
Saturday Night Fever Singin in the Rain
Rocky North By Northwest

Casablanca Foul Play
The Muppet Movie Boys From Brazil
Startina Over and many more

SelectaVision
VideoDisc System

“Price optional wilh dealer; actual price may vary

SEM THE BEST WAY to get to the
t 7 18th green at St. Andrews is

“the bridge built during
€ Third Crusade... „у

over 800 years ago. $

2
The good things іп Ше zg Е
Lap де
stay that way. Z Я
Dewar's? never varies. P
va

BLENDED SCOTCH WHISKY + 86.8 PROOF • 221980 SCHENLEY IMPORTS СО, N.Y... NY.

PLAYBILL

THERE ARE SOME TRAGEDIES that we must live with for a while
before we can begin to truly understand them. Such was the
case when 1980 Playmate of the Year Dorothy Stratten was mur-
dered by her estranged husband last August. We decided that
we needed to share her story—not only because we kept bump-
ing into our bruised personal feelings but also because who
she was is inextricably connected with who we are. We set out
to answer the succession of small questions that would lead to
an explanation. We already knew that in addition to her
remarkable beauty and a potentially successful film career,
Dorothy had become one of a gencration of contemporary
women who pursue their ambitions and independence as
vigorously as they express their femininity. That promise of
freedom became the target of a man who could not deal with
it. We called upon Contributing Editor Richard Rhodes to write
the story, with assistance from members of our editorial staff.
Parts of the narrative are based on research provided by Los
Angeles writers John Riley and Loura Bernstein and on selections
from Dorothy Stratten’s journals, copyright 1981, Dorothy
Straten Enterprises.

Playwright William Hauptman (he won an Obie for Domino
Courts) premieres in this issue of PLaysoy with his first short
story, Good Rockin’ Tonight. About an Elvis imitator in
‘Texas, it has already been bought by 20th Century-Fox, for
whom Hauptman is writing the screenplay. Not bad for the
first time out. The illustration was donc by Don Vanderbeek.

Even though we swear at computers, they will be indispen-
sable in the coming information revolution. Associate Editor
Robert E. Carr—a man who enjoys punching buttons—provides
us with A Guerrilla Guide to the Computer Revolution
and tells us that it’s best to get on the good side of the micro-
chipped beasts. Cherles Shields did the paramilitary illustration.

1t is, Of course, a woman's prerogative to change her mind.
So when Gabriella Brum, Miss West Germany, was crowned
Miss World in 1980, she considered the obligations that went
with her title and concluded it wasn't worth it. She abdicated
the next day. Photographer Sebastion Giefer Bastel caught up
with Brum in Jamaica and took some loving shots of her in
and out of the surf, and in and out of her clothes.

The possibility of life after death has always intrigued man.
Today's best-known scholar of the subject is Elisabeth Xübler-
Ress, who has studied the reports of those who “came back”
from clinical death. Journalist Marcia Seligson interviews
Kübler-Ross in what is, we feel, one of the most thought-
provoking interviews we've published.

Опе of Pompeo Posar’s first assignments for PrAYBov, back in
1961, was to photograph The Cirls of Rome. Trouble was that
every beautiful woman he saw there was from out of town.
When he suggested that we do the Girls of the Adriatic Coast,
we could sce from his enthusiasm that he could make the
project work. So he chartered a yacht, which flew a large Rab-
bit Head flag; as it docked in cach port along the Adriatic, it
d quite a stir. Associate Photo Editor Jeff Cohen and free-
lance make-up artist Elenka Zábeynkove helped out on the
feature; and Travel Editor Stephen Bimbaum explains how to
explore the coast firsthand

Brock Yates, who wrote the screenplay for The Cannonball
Run, which will be released in June, test-piloted Playboy's
GT Weekend Boat. Yates found the 30-loot iwin outboard
quite a handful—and a relative miser when it came to gas.

Senior Stall Writer James R. Petersen, Associate Art Director
Skip Williamson, Editorial Assistant Jenet Adelman, Assistant
Photo Editor Patty Beaudet (who also did the photo research
for the Dorothy Straten tribute) and Contributing Editor
Bruce Williamson all helped bring us The Year in Movies. Sce
it from the beginning.

HAUPTMAN

BIRNBAUM

YATES

WILLIAMSON, ADELMAN, BEAUDET, PE

PLAYBOY [ISSN 0032-1478), HAY, 1981, VOL. fj
CONTROLLED CIRCULATION POSTAGE PAID AT CHICAG

MO. з. PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY PLAYBOY IM NATIONAL
эсин. suas: IN THE и... $18 FOR 12 ISSUES.

STMASIER: SEND FORU 3578 TO PLAYDOY, P.O. BOX 2420, BOULDER, COLO. #0302,

PLAYBOY.

vol. 28, no. 5—may, 1981 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE

BOOKS E ELE 31

Veterans’ yendeitas; infatuation and women's softball; Adam Smith on money.

HVE, coi TEUER 34

Blonde bombshells bomb; Devo invades an English town, sort of; jazz guitarist
roundup.

MOVIES ЕЕ CEP ОРЫ ОУК СЫС 42

Postman remake's a scorcher; Chris Walken in a Forsyth thriller; Paul Newman
saves Fort Apache.

COMING ATTRACTIONS
Dreyfuss slated for Einstein role, à la Disney; Spielbei
wood's best-kept secret—unveiled.

48
s next flick—Holly-

PLAYBOY'S TRAVEL GUIDE .................. STEPHEN BIRNBAUM 51
An update on troveler's-check refunds.

ТНЕ!БПАҮВОҮЛАРУБОВ ЫТЫ. MM ES 55

THE PLAYBOY FORUM .. 61

PLAYBOY INTERVIEW:

ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS—candid conversation .................. 69

The Swiss-born psychiatrist who revolutionized the world's attitudes toward
death and the treatment of the dying talks about her controversial theories on
the afterlife, her own out-of-body experiences and a recent scandal that shook
her professional—and personal—life, in a startlingly frank interview.

GOOD ROCKIN’ TONIGHT—fiction .......... WILLIAM HAUPTMAN 108
After Elvis dies, a couple of good ol brothers from Texas discover that
impersonating the King can be a royal pain in the ass.

oran or WORLDICUASS pietonal e E Ж e Te E TO 113
When stunning 18-year-old Gabriella 8rum promptly surrendered her crown
after being named Miss World, everyone wondered why. Meet the former
Miss West Germany, who has other things in mind for her future.

A GUERRILLA GUIDE TO THE

COMPUTER REVOLUTION—article ................ ROBERT E. CARR 120
To arm yourself against the inevitable computer invasion, you'll need to know
as much about them as they do about you. Our colleague ventured into the
alien world of electronics to report on the stcte of the art of home computers
and what we can expect from them in the very near future.

Stratten Story

GENERAL OFFICES: PLAYBOY BUILDING, 919 NORTH MICHIGAN AVE.. CHICAGO, ILLINOIS (0611. RETURN PCSTAGE HUST ACCCHPANY ALL MANUSCRIPTS, DRAWINGS AMD PIOTOGTAPMS SUBMITTED
1F THEY ARE ТО DE RETURNED AND NO RESPONSIBILITY CAN BE ASSUMED FOR UNSOLICITED MATERIALS. ALL RIGHTS IN LETTERS SENT YO PLAYBOY WILL BE TREATED AS UNCONDITIONALLY ASSIGNED
FOR PUBLICATION AND COPYRIGHT PURPOSES AND AS SUBJECT TO FLAYEOY'S UNRESTRICTED RIGHT TO EDIT AND 10 COMMENT EDITORIALLY. CONTENTS COPYRIGHT © 1981 BY PLAYBOY. ALL
BIENES RESERVED. PLAYUOY AND RABBIT HEAD SYMBOL ARE MARKS OF PLAYBOY, REGISTERED U.S. PATENT OFFICE, MARCA REGISTRADA. MARQUE DEFOSEE. NOTHING HAY PE REPRINTED IN WHOLE
OR IN FART WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION FROM THE PUBLISHER. ANT SIMILARITY BETWEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES IN THE FICTION AND SEMIFICTION IN THIS MAGAZINE AND ANY REAL
PEOPLE AND PLACES 15 PURELY COINCIDENTAL CREDITS: COVER: MOTEL GAORIELLA ORDM. PHCTOGRAPHED BY SEBASTIAN GIEFER BASTEL. OTHER PHOTOGHAPHY BY: ART CAMPHELL, P. 5;
MARIO CASILLI, P. 147; GRANT EOWARDS, P. 145; VERSER ENGELWARD, P. S (2); STEVE EWERT, P. 107; ARMY FREYTAG, P. 13, 16; MICHAEL GOING, P. 135 (2); JAMES HAMILTON, P. 22;

COVER STORY

Gabriella Brum has the world in her palm, so that's where we put it. Anybody who gets
crowned Miss World one day and returns her crown the next because she has ofher plans
is not your typical beauty-pageant winner. As you can see from Sebastian Giefer
Bastel's photo, this lady has с lot on the ball. For more of Gabriella, see her out-of-this-

world pictorial on page 113.

RODNEY DANGERFIELD TIES ONE ON—fashion/humor ..... eee 123
When we asked this comedian to model some snazzy new designer neckwear,
we should have known he wouldn't need any loosening up.

FINNISH LINES—playboy's playmate of the month ........... 2 128
Born in Finland, Gina Goldberg lived all over the world before settling down
іп sunny Southern California. Looks as if she's finally found her home.

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor ........................ ... 140

TWO TO СО—аніге ....................... ..... DAVID PLATT 142
Stylish separates for a together look.

KISS OF THE HOPS—drink ...............- EMANUEL GREENBERG 145
A survey of imports, lights, premiums ond superpremiums at the head of their
class. Plus advice on serving and savoring all kinds of brews.

DOROTHY STRATTEN: HER STORY—article ....... RICHARD RHODES 146

A full account of the life and death of riavsoy's 1980 Playmate of the Year.
LEROY NEIMAN SKETCHBOOK—pictorial ...........-...------- 151
GIRLS OF THE ADRIATIC

COAST—pictorial essay ............... . STEPHEN BIRNBAUM 154
Yugoslavia’s coast line is renowned for its natural beauty, but the real
treasures of this fascinating nation have nothing to do with topography.

THE TALE OF MADONNA
MODESTA—ribald classic ............... GIOVANNI STRAPAROLA 165
20 QUESTIONS: JOHN DELOREAN ............................ 166
This former General Motors honcho and innovative genius went into overdrive EAEN
to produce his own version of the ultimate dream car—and that's only the
beginning.
PLAYBOY'S GT WEEKEND BOAT—article ............ BROCK YATES 170

They won't win any honors for fuel efficiency, but for luxury and top-speed
thrills, these high-powered cruisers are unbeatable.

THE YEARN MOVIES o ва Ж Mec eee ae ers 174
Admit it. Even if you didn't like some of the films you saw in 1980, с! least you
could hum a few tunes on the way out of the theater. Here's our annual list of
last year’s cinematic highlights, including the best, the worst and other cate- Photo Finnish
gories you won't see on the Oscar telecast.

PLAYBOY FUNNIES—humor ................ СТОИТЕ 185

PLAYBOY POTPOURRI ......

E PRESS INT'L., P. 148: GEORGE
FILWAYS, LONINAR U.A., ORION /
з, 124, FASHIONS SOMPER FURS, BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA, P. 124, 125, EVENING GOWNS FROM PLEASURE DOME BOUTIQUE, LOS ANGELES, СА

Dv: DON GLASSFORD, P. V
INSERTS: SOUTHERN COMFORT BCOKLET BETWEEN

PLAYBOY

APPELLATION MACON CONTROLEE

BOTTLED BY

BARTON & GUESTIER

PRODUCE OF FRANCE
NEGOCIANTS - ELEVEURS A ELANQUEFORT

Wine lovers the world over have loved B&G's fine French wines since 1725. Our
31 superb red, white and rosé wines are savored for their consistent taste and
superior quality. Come enjoy the pleasure of our company, B&G.

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher

NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
ARTHUR PAUL art director
DON GOLD managing editor
GARY COLE photography director
BARRY GOLSON executive editor

ТОМ STAEBLER executive ан director

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: JAMES MORGAN edilor; FICTION:
ALICE К. TURNER editor; TERESA CROSCH as
sociate editor; STAFF: WILLIAM J- HELMER,
CRETCHEN MC NEESE, DAVID STEVENS senior edi-
lors; JAMES в, PETERSEN senior staff writer;
ROBERT E. CARE, WALTER L, LOWE, BARBARA
NELLIS, KATE NOLAN, JOHN REZEK associate
editors; JONN BLUMENTHAL staf] writer; SUSAN
MARGOLIS-WINTER, TOM PASSAVANT asociate
new york editors; ү. F. O'CONNOR assistant
editor; SERVICE FEATURES: TOM OWEN
modern living editor; ED WALKER assistant
editor; DAVID PLATT fashion director; MARLA
SCHOR assistant editor: CARTOONS: MICHELLE
URRY editor; COPY: ARLENE BOURAS editor
STAN AMBER assistant editor; JACKIE JOHNSON,
MARCY MARCHI, BARI LYNN NASH, CONAN
PUTNAM, PEG SCHULTZ, DAVID TARDY, MARY
ZION researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS:
ASA BABER, STEPHEN BIRNPAUM. (Iavel), LAW-
RENCE GROBEL, ANSON MOUNT, PETER ROSS
RANGE, RICHARD RHODES, DAVID STANDISH, BRUCE
WILLIAMSON (movie); CONSULTING EDI-
TORS: LAWRENCE S. DIETZ, LAURENCE GONZALES

ART

KERG LOPE managing director; LEN WILLIS,
нЕт suski senior directors; BRUCE HANSEN,
BOB POST, SKU WILLIAMSON associate directors;
THEO KOUVATSOS, JOSEPH FACZEK assistant
directors; semi клык senior art assistant;
PEARL MIURA, JOYCE PEKALA art assistants:
SUSAN HOLMSIROM trafic coordinator; BAR-
BAKA HOFFMAN administrative assistant

PHOTOGRAPHY

MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast edilor; JEFF
COHEN, JANICE MOSES associate editors; засы.
ARD FECLEY, POMPEO POSAR slaf] phologra-
phers; JAMES LARSON photo manager; тил.
ARSENAULT, DON AZUMA, DAVID CHAN, NICHOLAS
DESCIOSE, PHILLIP DIXON, ARNY FREYTAG,
DWIGHT HOOKER, н. SCOTT HOOPER, RICHARD
WU, STAN MALINOWSKI, KEN MARCUS contrib-
uting photographers; PATIY BEAUDET assistant
editor: MAEN wuRRY (London), JEAN PIERRE
HOLLEY (Pari), LUISA STEWART (Rome) cor-
respondents; JAMES warp color lab supervi.
sor; ROWERT CHELIUS administrative editor

PRODUCTION
JOHN MASTRO director; ALLEN VARGO mana
MARIA MANDIS assisiant manager; ELEANORE
WAGNER, JODY JUKGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROLI
assistants

READER SERVICE,
CYNTHIA LACEY-SIKICH manager

CIRCULATION
RICHARD SMITH director; ALVIN WIEMOLD. sub-
scription manager

ADVERTISING
HENRY W. MARKS director

ADMINISTRATIVE
MICHAEL LAURENCE business manager: PATRICIA
PAPANGELIS. administrative editor; PAULETTE
Caumer rights & permissions manager; ми
DRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.

DERICK J. DANIELS president

SUPER

AVILYN

БЕ 29: LP) dees SP Gem

| VIDEO CASSETTE
(VHS)

HIGH OUTPUT HIGH RESOLUTION

Super Avilyn. The face has changed,
but the actis still the same.

It's the TDK Super Avilyn performance we never stop improving. And now you can
catch the act in a super new package. Bright white with silver lettering, it really shines.

You won't miss it on your dealer's shelves.

Best of all, under that flashy new exterior still beats the heart of
the true performer—Super Avilyn. The videotape you've come to
rely on for the picture that always comes through, brilliantly.
Vibrant colors that don'tbleed. Crisp, sharp images. A solid, steady
picture, free of jitters. Even after six hours.

Super Avilyn’s all dressed up and ready to play your palace. Take
ithome and see its classic performance.

The Vision of the Future

8 mg.tar, 0.7 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette by FIC Method.

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined © Loniltord, U.S.A.. 1981
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

Golden Lights.
You really know you're smoking.

Give up double digit tar. But dorit give up the pleasure.

Kings and 10
Regulat and m Lum

IKI
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| Genuine Vodka

м Life has changed since ine days of

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supreme standards which elevated
itto special appointment to his
Majesty the Czar and the Imperial
Romanov Court.

Wolfschmidt Genuine Vodka.
The spirit of the Czarlives on.

Wolfschmidt

THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY

in which we offer an insider’s look at what's doing and who's doing it

RUNNING ON HOUSE CURRENT

New Year's Eve, as you all know, means jammy time at Playboy Man-
sion West. During Hef's annual blast (left), Playmates Vicki McCarty
and Terri Welles nuzzle the host. A new Mansion West staffer (below)
Wheels around asking guests to sign in, announcing

films in the screening room and fetching his master's
pipe. Hef's houseboy, Hef, Jr., arrived for the holi-
days, a present from his buddies James Caan,
Robert Culp, songwriter Carol Connors and others.

HOW TO MAKE A

PERFECT ALBUM BETTER
June 1980 Playmate Ola Ray has it
covered—an album, that is. She ap-
pears with former Raydio member
Jerry Knight on the jacket of his

THE MICHELOB LIGHT
SNOW-PATROL HEAVIES

Below, world's top-ranked pro ski racer
André Amold nearly matches grins with
1979 Playmate of the Year Monique St.
Pierre in Aspen at the first of three
$60,000 Michelob Light Cup Races
featuring unique Monique as hostess.

Ola perfectly uncovered, as she ap-
peared in her Playmate shooting.

PLAYMATES IN HARMONY

Afler months of rehearsal, The Singing
Playmates have gone public. Debuting at
Danny's Apple near L.A. are (below, from
left) Heidi Sorenson, Lorraine Michaels,
Kelly Tough, Sondra Theodore and Jeana
Tomasino. Now they plan to get their
act together and take it on the road.

CONTROLTHE MOST UNCOOPERATIVE LIGHT
WITH EXPOSURE COMPENSATION.

Contrary to what the TV commer-
cials tell you, a truly creative 35mm
photograph, one that startles, exhila-
rates, inspires, is seldom the result of
just a quick punch of a button.

Its a combination of skill and im-
agination and a camera's ability to re-
spond to those qualities.

Which is why we created the
Super Camera.

EASY SNAPSHOTS OR BRILLIANT
PHOTOGRAPHS.

CAPTURE ACTION IN MID-FLIGHT
WITH 1/2000 SECOND SHUTTER SPEED.

And the ME Super.

And if you want to go out and be
a great photographer, ycu shouldn't
haveto worry about something as basic
as loading your camera. Thats why
Pentax invented the Magic Needleload-
ing system. Itgrabs the film and holds
onto it, so you can keep your mind on
taking great pictures—without wonder-
ingif your film is actually going through
the camera.

On automatic, the Super Camera
is just as easy to use as any aim-focus-
shoot camera. So you can take good
35mm photographs of your kids, rela-
tives and friends as simply and quickly
as if you were still using your old pock-
etcamera.

But when you take the Super
Camera's controls away from its com-
puter and put them into your own im- з
aginative hands, you can use the light @
to produce photographs that will
startle, exhilarate, and inspire.

You see, with the ME Super re-
markable push-button manual override,
уси can control your shutter speed
electronically.

SPEED WITH CONTROL.

With the ME Super, you have the
ability to stop a 200 mph Formula One
Racing Car dead in its tracks. How?
With a shutter speed of 1/2000 sec-
ond, a feature found on only the most
expensive professional cameras.

A PHOTOGRAPH IS ONLY AS GOOD
AS THE LENS IT GOES THROUGH.
Sirice we began asan optical com-
pany more than 60 years ago, we've in-
corporated numerous innovations and
refinements into our lenses, most of
which have found their way into every

The most revolutionary is Super-
Multi-Coating, a seven-layer coating
we put on every surface of every piece
of glass we put in a lens.

Its laborious and

costly, but it makes

our lenses visibly

superior helping to
produce photographs of ex-
ceptional brilliance.

Today, we offer over 40 high-qual-
ity lenses, from fish eye to super tele-
photo, including nine zooms. So you
can take exactly the kind of picture you
want, from an insect's eye toa light-
house that's five miles offshore.

EVERYTHING THAT FINE
35mm PHOTOGRAPHY SHOULD BE.

The factis, the longer you owna
Pentax Super Camera, the more you'll

come to appreciate how its many inno-
vations can help you to be the kind of
>» 35mm photographer you wantto be.
Which is, ifyou're interest-
edin photography enough to
read this far, a long way from aim,
focus and shoot.

Firstwhere it means something
to befirst.

For more information, write Pentax ME Super, 35 Inverness Drive East,

Englewood, Colorado 80112.

DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYEOY BUILDING
919 Н. MICHIGAN AVE.
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

CLOCK STOPPER

Having an hour to kill before I was
to meet friend for dinner on New
Year's Eve, I sat down in my den with
a good smoke, my headphones and the
February issue of рілувоу. When I
checked the clock to make sure 1 was оп
schedule, I was surprised to see that it
was five in the morning. I called my
friend to apologize, explaining that
Peter Ross Range, Hodding Carter III,
Laurence Gonzales and Ron Powers had
been responsible for completely putting
me away for the evening. Never have I
ad a more enjoyable combination of
articles in a single publication. The
ithors are to be congratulated for their
crystal-clear perceptions. I'm not sure if
T actually lip-read. word of every
article or just reread each of them five
or six times. It doesn’t matter. As for
my friend, she good-naturedly accepted
my open confession that a better New
Year's might never be had, commenting
that next year things might be differen
Perhaps she can spend it with my mag:
zine. I really can't blame her. Happy
New Year.

mucl Donato
Binghamton, New York

A YEN FOR QUALITY

I really enjoyed your February article
The Technology War: Behind Japanese
Lines, by Peter Ross Range. We here in
Amcrica should take a good look at how
a densely populated country like Japan
can make it work successfully. If we
could put our efforts into being cre-
ative instead of money-hungry, we might
sce things start turning around here
also.

(Name withheld by request)
Little Ferry, New Jersey

1 spent $1500 at the Chrysler dealer
to have my transmission fixed but it still
won't go into reverse. My last unan-

swered letter of 40 days ago—a naive cf-
fort to get relief from the manufacturer
in Detroit—makes it obvious that Chry-
sler’s interest and responsibility cease the
moment its car leaves the plant. And they
wonder why they are in financial trouble
and lose business to the Japanese.

Martin A. F. Dekking
Plano, Texas

If Range thinks he’s driving a su-
perior and safer car when he's driving
Japanese, he's just part of the big br:
wash. Knocking Detroit is the fashion,
the “in” thing. Buddy, give me a
Cordoba or a Riviera at half the price
and twice the luxury and safety.

Harold Harwood
Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Range left out one of the most fun-
damental differences between Japanese
society and those of the West, particu-
larly the U.S. That difference strikes
anyone who enters Japan from the West

unique and, in many ways, enviable.
The Japanese society is the closest to a
homogeneous one in the free world to-
day. The Japanese culture is not multi-
racial, multicultural nor composed of
persons from significantly disparate h
torical backgrounds. Any stif can readily
see that that fact has to be one of the
fundamental reasons the Japanese favor
and succeed at coordination and con-
ciliation in business and public life.

Scott Lukehart
Los Angeles, California

Range is absolutely right. АП the
Japanese automobiles I have owned have
made their American counterparts look
second-rate. But while the Japanese cars
are better engineered and better de-
tailed, they are also better at rusting!
Ask anyone who lives in an area of our
country where salt is used in the winter.
Га love to have another Celica GT; but

PLAYBOY, (ISSN 0032-1476

SCHIPTIONS AND RENEWALS. CHANGE OF ADDRESS:

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Readlabelorairections,

Playboy pxesents a new magazine for men with style.

Finally, here's a magazine that gives
men realistic style advice and informa-
tion. One magazine that presents all
the latest options, opinions, service and
guidance you need for looking vour
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Edited in the highly readable,
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FASHION covers everything from
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want to read and refer to it as you plan
your fashion purchases.

You'll get seasoned advice from
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laughs from Mel Brooks, Bill Cosby
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The essential magazine for the style-
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On Sale Now

friends with
~~ great fun
in the preat

. outdoors. -

Gr drinks for Top ten
the great outdoors. drinks.

Can you rank them? Answ
are shown on the following

Relax with good friends in the great outdoors. You've pages with their recipes.
earned some Comfort®
A party under sun or stars will sparkle if you simply mix [ Manhattan
good friends with great recipes. Whip up any of the nation’s top [ whiskey Sour
10 drinks . . . an easy to fix punch . . . or other drink surprises. ÛJ Gin "n Tonic
Create appetizing snacks, a mouth-watering main dish, or a [ Margarita
delicious dessert that's simple to prepare. [Г] Old-Fashioned
Easy. effortless entertaining. This guide helps you do it. ÛJ Martini
Strain out the stress with outdoor entertaining. You've earned [ Bloody Mary
some Comfort® [J Daiquiri
[C Screwdriver
C Tom Collins

he Grand Old Drink
of the South.

Like many other festive things, Southern Comfort
first came to light in New Orleans. Gentlemen of the time
(well over a century ago) sought out something better
than the harsh firewater that then passed as whiskey.

They found it in Southern Comfort. It was smooth
and deliciously different. It had a rich amber glow.

It just plain tasted beter. .. on the rocks or as a mixer.

Southern Comfort made for many a fine social
occasion. Sometinies legends were swapped at these
affairs. The legend that Southern Comfort came
from Europe in earlier times. That the pirate Lafitte brought it to the new land.

The legends were many but the fine drink was a fact. A secret recipe was guarded
by a bar owner named Heron. But fame has a way of growing. Heron's kin took the recipe
to Memphis, then to St. Louis. The drink's fame spread like the warm glow of a sip of
Southern Comfort.

Although it's used just like an ordinary whiskey, Southern Comfort tastes much
different from any other basic liquor.

Discerning drinkers like it all by itself. Since it tastes so good alone, it stands

z = to reason it makes a great change
in any drink recipe.

Try Southern Comfort. On the
rocks. Or in any recipe in this guide

You'll like the change. After all,
] if a drink can change the South, it's

i at, bound to make a change in your life.
© Southern Comfort Corporation, 1980. “Comfort” and "Southern Comfort” are registered trademarks of Southern Comfort Corp

omfort” time ish

anylime guests: gather’ + Ewa

for an informal 179 V» *
garden or patio party. ا‎

Southern Comfort is great for just sippin' on-the-rocks.

Create your own Comfort®

with these drink recipes.

Comfort-On-The-Rocks Rank Pina Colada
Famous at Antbony's | jigger (1-1/2 oz) cum
Pier 4, Boston. Screwdriver 1 oz. Creme of Coconut
1 jigger (1-1/2 oz.) Southern Comfort, 1 jigger (1-1/2 02) vodka. 2 oz. pineapple juice.
Pour over cracked ice Orange juice. Shake with 1/2 cup
in short glass; add Put ice cubes into crusbed ice or use
twist of lemon peel. б oz. glass. Add blender. Pour into а
This delicious liquor's vodka; fill with tall glass filled

orange juice; stir with ice cubes.

popular sipped

‘on-the-rocks anywhere- Give your screwdriver Add a cherry. А drink =
а new twist. Use witb a great coconut accent.
Comfort Old-Fashioned Southern Comfort

Famous fashion at the Gaslight
Club in Chicago.

Dash of Angostura bitters.
V2 oz. sparkling water.
V2 tspn. supar (optional).
1 jigger Southern Comfort.
Mir bitters, sugar,

instead of vodka.

Rank 187
Rank M Daiquiri
Dry Martini Juice 1/2 lime or 1/4 lemon.
4 parts gin or vodka. 1 teaspoon sugar.

water in glass; Splash of dry vermouth, 1 jigger (1-1/2 oz)
add ice cubes, Stir with cracked ice; light rum.
Southern Comfort strain into stemmed glass. Shake thoroughly
Add twist of lemon Or pour over rocks & j | witb cracked ice,
peel, orange slice, іп а short glass. until the sbaker
cherry. Superb! Add green olive or frosts. Strain into

4 twist of lemon peel. cocktail glass.
Rank 10 For a Gibson, use For a new accent,

5 parts gin and use Southern Comfort |

Old-Fashioned a splash of vermouth kg, | instead of rum.
Use 1 tspn. sugar, Bourbon Serve with pearl onion. 2 only 1/2 їрп. sugar. м
or blended whiskey Instead
“зыр Comfort Collins Rob Roy
Rank a 1 jigger (1-1/2 02.) 1 jigger (1-1/2 oz.) Scotch.
Tom Collins poster Га 1/2 jigger sweet vermouth.

Dash Angostura hitters
TE 4 Stir with cracked
міх Southern Comfort ice: strain into

and lime juice in tall cocktail glass.
glass. Add ice cubes; Add a cherry or twist

Jill with 70Р M of lemon peel This
Best-tasting—and casiest drinks often called a

Dissolve 1 tsp. sugar
in 1/2 jigger lemon
juice in tall glass
Add ice cubes.

1 jigger pin

Fill with sparkling

ter: stir. ys

ird to mix— Collins of all ~ “scotch Manbattan.7)

Rank 4 ш

Мапһайап Rank

1 jigger (14/2 oz.) Bourbon Bloody Mary nan 81

or blended whiskey 2 fipgers tomato juice, Whiskey Sour

1/2 oz. sweet vermouth. 1/3 jigger fresh lemon juice. 1 jagger (1-1/2 oz.) Bourbon

Dash of Angostura Dash of Worcestershire sauce or blended whiskey

bitters (optional). V jigger (1-1/2 oz.) vodka. V2 jigger fresh lemon juice.

Stir with cracked Salt, pepper to 1 teaspoon sugar.”

ке and strain taste. Shake with Shake with cracked ісе

into glass. Also = cracked ice; strain and strain into glass, Add
popular on-the-rocks. into 6-02. glass an orange slice on rim

Add a cherry. Garnish with celery of glass and a cherry,

Get езеп more Comfortable stalk. : For a Comforfing ШУ
and use Southern Comfort change, enjoy Southern Comfort
and dry vermouth instead of instead of Bourbon or blend.
Bourbon or blend. Use only 1/2 teaspoon of sugar.

own at the shore,

under sun or stars,

it's always smooth sailing
with good friends and Comfort.

Yacht furnistied by
Loc's Highport Reset, Pottsboro, TX

Rank)

Margarita

1 jigger (1-1/2 oz.)

tequila.

1/2 oz. Triple Sec. TT
102. fresh lime
ог lemon juice.
Moisten cochtail plass
rim with fruit rind;
spin rim in salt. Shake
ingredients with
cracked ice.

Strain into plass.
Sip over salted rim

Lemon Cooler
Terrific tall one,

as served al Brennan's
Restaurant, Houston.
1 jigger (1-1/2 oz)
Southern Comfort.
Schweppes Bitter Lemon.
Pour Comfort over
ice cubes in tall
glass. Fill with

Bitter Lemon; stir.

Comfort 'n Mixers

The simple drinks

are tbe most popular
and Soutbern

Comfort makes tbe

best tasting ones!

Hs delicious flavor

enhances the taste

of any mix you use.

Try Comfort and:

Cola * 7UP * Club Soda * Ginger Ale

Tonic • Squirt * Lemonade • Milk

Juices: orange, pineapple, grapefruit,

Rank)

Gin 'n Tonic

Juice and rind 1/4 lime.

1 jigger (1-1/2 oz) gin

Schweppes Tonic Water.

Squeeze lime over ice

cubes in a tall glass

and add rind. Pour in
1 gin. Fill with tonic
and slir until well -
chilled.
For a change of pace. skip the gin
and enjoy Southern Comfort’s

Биси ede ше talent for tonic
Sicilian Kiss Stinger

3 parts Southern Comfort. 1 jigger (1-1/2 oz.) brandy.
1 part Amaretto. 1/2 jigger white

Pour over crushed ice creme de menthe.

Shake with cracked"
ice; strain into glass
Southern Comfort instead
of brandy makes a stinger
that's a humdinger.

in short glass; stir.
Southern Comfort
mates deliciously
with this romantic
liqueur.

Southern Comfort Food & Funch Recipes

Southern Comfort Piglets
P 1 cup Southern Comfort

2 cup dark brown sugar.
У сир prepared
yellow mustard.
3/4 cup currant, plum,
or any tart fruit jelly.
1 Ib. (approx. 50)
smoked, kosher or
regular cocktail wieners.
Combine Southern Comfort and
brown sugar in a chafing dish or
large fry pan. Cook, stirring con-
stantly, until thickened (3-5

mins.) Add mustard and jelly; stir

until dissolved. Add wieners, and
heat thoroughly, stirring occa
sionally. Serve on toothpicks or
cocktail rye bread. Serves 15-20.

Cherries Jubilee

1 16-02. can pitted black Bing
cherries in heavy syrup

1 Isp. cornstarch.

1 cup Southern Comfort.

1 quart vanilla ice cream.

Pour cherry juice from can into bowl. Add

cornstarch, mix thoroughly, and pour into chafing r
dish, Stir continuously over medium beat until mixture

bas thickened (3-4 minutes). Add cherries and stir

1-2 minutes. Add in Southern Comfort, ignite

and stir thoroughly. Ladle, while flaming, over

individual servings of we cream. Serves 6-8.

Baked Ham Gourmet.
10-12 Ib. smoked ham. еч

3/4 cup Southern Comfort,

cloves

1 cup brown sugar.

2 tbsp. dry mustard.

Cook bam according to directions,

30 minutes before bam is done, з

remove rind and score fat. Cover ~

with mixture of 1/4 cup Southern

Comfort and brown sugar; stud with

cloves. Add mustard to remaining

Southern Comfort; pour over bam and
continue baking, basting occasionally

Open House Punch
Tastes like a cocktail!

Makes 32 4-oz. servings.

One fifth Southern Comfort

3 quarts ТИР; 6 02. fresh lemon juice.
One 6-02. can frozen lemonade

One 6-oz. can frozen orange juice.
Chill ingredients. Mix in puncb
bowl, 7UP last. Add drops of
red food coloring as desired
(optional), stir. Float block of
ісе, add orange and lemon
slices. Mix in advance! Just add
7UP and ice when ready to
serve... and be able to enjoy
your own party!

геай ош the jeans,

bring on your friends

and get Comfortable with
an old-fashioned country coakout.

ў Самат plass Ware
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Order Blank Quy:

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T to:

[J Please send free catalog.
Charge it VISA

Master Charge

ses) On-the-Rocks Glasses (© $16.00 set | $

Бион set(s) Highball Glasses @ $16.00 set | $

pM Н. | Shot Glass (9 $ 250 ea | $

X Medium T-Shirt (9$ ate |$

PONE T acu i TShirt ___@$475еа. |$
St. Louis, МО 63132 X-Large TShirt — @ sar

EMD

‘Enclose check or
(Make payable t0 The Pa

Interban’

Accuumt No | | |
(Prim ай и) L1 |

Signature

k
PEAKI

[ШШЕ]

(Master Charge Only)

Name (Print)
Address

City
Ofer good only in cominental limits of US. Void in stares
fer expires December 31. 1981. Southern Confort Corp:

BO 100 Pr

f Liqueur, St. Louis. MO 65152

since I keep a car more than two ycars,
Vl stick with the American-made prod-
uct, inferior as it is. At least my rims
won't rust so badly that the tires won't
hold air.

Robert Smith
Greenville, Pennsylvania

The American people аге on а Japan-
ese buying kick because they think the
Japanese have a better product th:
have. Open your суе, America,
scc what a farce you have perpew:
upon yourself. You'll realize the sad joke
is on you (not American industry). You
claim to look for value when buying a
car, then buy what your friends buy or
what is considered in style by your peers.

Brian Bixler
West Lafayette, Indiana

IN TOO DEEP?
Laurence Gonzales February article,
Deep In with David Carradine, is onc of
the best pieces of descriptive journalism
Г have ever had the pleasure of reading.
Unfortunately, it reveals a sad and
shocking personality. Carradine's disre-
spect for law and order and the welfare
of others transcends his Hollywood ap-
nature of a man
bent on self-destruction, If €
an American idol, we have,
placed our priorities. Kung-Fool!
Gary R. Thalman
Wheeling, West Virgin

As a 56-ycar-old woman who lived
a good life minding her own business,
I have very little fury to vent on those
whose lifestyle, morals, rcligion, cleanli-
ness, etc., don't meet my own standards.
But Deep In with David Carradine
really brought to the fore my deep-seated
cath wish against criminally careless
not interested in Carradine
and read the article only because 1 read
everything in PLAYEOY. The early yawns
about his personal filth in body, clothing
nd home, and his consumption of booze
nd whatever, simply bored me. But I
started seeing red as I read about his
aving across lanes," no seat belts, 12!
mph, no license since 1977, all while
“deep in.” The hitand-run and its cover-
n not gonna let a little thing
like the law stop me”) were utterly sick-
ening. I lived through an episode tl
wiped out half a family related to me
(two dead, four hopelessly, helplessly
crippled) because some damn fools w
out having a good time, and I'll neve
get over it. | wish David Carradine an
early, one-car death, and all his ilk
with him.

(Name withheld by request)
Green Bay, Wisconsi

rad

ne as cer
help but adm
isa little С

Is
e the man. I believe there
radine in all of us, but few

have the courage to get that deep in.
Thank you, Laurence Gonzales, for a
truly fine article. It is heartening to
know that there is, indeed, life (though
a somewhat precarious one) alter non-
conformity.

M. C. Hiett
San Jose, California

TENANTS, ANYONE?

Thank you for your February picto
jal Playmate Roommates. You did an
outstanding job. You couldn't have
picked three more luscious Playmates to
pose. All three send chills up my spine.

Pat Clerkin

Columbus, Indiana

We have never seen three such lovely-
looking lad. ured together in one

pictorial. Sondra “Theodore, Candy
Loving and Welles possess good
looks, cl d sophistication, We

would feel honored to have such beau-
tiful Women a

Studley Men's Residence
Dalhou!

je University
Nova Scotia

Congratulations on your Playmate
Roommates ү l, truly outstanding.
Its always nice to sce Sondra Theodori

The North End of San Bernardino has
truly lost one of its most beautiful and
intelligent. residents. We attended the
ame high school Ra Ra Cajon. so
Sondra has a special place in my heart.
She hay made us proud. And Te
Welles is onc of the classicst ladies I
have ever seen. She is obviously very in-
ive and, fortunately
he male population, very beautiful
as well. And Candy Loving is always a
welcome sight. I hope you do more of
this kind of pictorial. 1 doubt you can
top this one, but do try.

Jeff Osborn

San Bernardino,

Would they like 65 more room
The men of Kappa Sigma
Wabash College
Crawfordsville, Indiana

Tm convinced. Your pictor
Playmate Roommates has made me a be-
liever, Terri Welles is the most beautiful
girl 1 have ever seen! In my view, she
tops even Patti McGuire and Debra Jo
Fondren—which I didn't think was pos-
sible. The divine Terri has my vote
for Playmate of the Year. She is one lady
I'd love to see more of!

Richard G. Hall

Battle Creek, Michi

FRIENDLY FIRE

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PLAYBOY

missile launcher all the way out here
n the Indian Ocean! Looks as if Kilroy
has taken a back seat. To our additional
surprise, among all the ammo, we found

nother bombshell in the form of Lisa
Welch (September Playmate of the
Month). Our salute goes to you, PLAYBOY,
and it's good to have you here.
Robert Reagan

Jamie VanHook

WF Division U.S.S. Ranger (CV 61)

Gonzo Station

FPO San Francisco. California
Too bad all your missiles can't be misses
^ Lisa. We appreciate the honor.

1il

TALKING WITH TOM

After reading your February interview
with "Tom Snyder, I found out what
Tom's really like: obnoxious, egotistical
nd a bore. Glad to know 1 was right
all along.

Leonard Ok
Rockville, Connecticut

Tom Snyder is a man with guts, a rare
quality in today's movies and television.
He proves that a man can be himself
and still succeed in that rotten industry.
Keep pluggin’, Tom. We love you!

Duck Quantrell
Burns Flat, Oklahoma

Tom Snyder? Forget it! T tried to list
all the contradictions in his interview
but ran out of paper. Suffice it to say,
What a pompous ass!

Robert Alvey
Sturgis, Michigan

WRONGING A WRITER
In the December issue of PLAynoy
(Playboy After Hours), there is an error
in the credits for the IPC Films produc-
tion of Nine to Five: the error being the
omission of Patricia Resnick, who re-
ceived story credit and co-wrote the
screenplay with director Colin Higgins.
I would greatly appreciate your correct-
ing this mistake for your readers.
Bruce Gilbert, Producer
IPC Films
New York, New York
Always happy to give a fellow scribe
her due credit. Thanks for the correction.

BAILEY'S WIFE
David Bailey's Model Wife in the
February issue is lovely! It proves once

more how great black-and-white photos
can be. I find those pictures extremely
erotic and Marie to be beautiful, sexy,
cute and desirable! I am her fan for life!
Mayland Harriman
Port Arthur, Texas

VIVA VICKI
Im lost for words when T try to de

scribe the beauty and perfection of your
February Playmate, Vicki Lynn Lasseter.
As a parttime glamor and figure pho-
tographer, I carefully scrutinize and
judge each monthly Playmate; and not
nce DeDe Lind graced your magazine
years ago have I scen a more
perfectly proportioned and beautiful
woman than Vicki Lasseter. Two gold
stars are in order: one to the state of
Texas and the other to Arny Freytag
for a job “above and beyond.

T/Sgt. Alan J. Talacek, U.S.A.F.

Washington, D.C.

I love it. She never owned a pair of
cowboy boots or a hat and she reads
Richard Bach. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
surrenders to the Texas Vicki Lasseter.
As I tell my wife, “I love the article:
and I do. Keep up the good work.
Louis J. Borgia, Jr.
Sewickley, Pennsylvania

I am not an avid reader of PLAYBOY.
I glance at the pictures from time to
time, but the pictures of your women
never turn me on. You see, I am a homo-
sexual. But when I opened February's
issue and saw your centerfold, Vicki
Lasseter, I was shocked at the hard-on I
received. As a result, I plan on getting
a five-year subscription to PLAYBOY.

(Name withheld by request)
Mansfield, Ohio

ls like Vicki Lasseter are not only
great beauties; they are also a great in-
spiration to poor students like myself
Vicki was in my personality class at
TCJC а few semesters back. The class

itself sucked, the teacher sucked, the
book sucked, the pencil sharpener
sucked. It was terrible: but I would

make that long drive twice weekly just
to watch one of the most physically per-
fect women I've ever seen. Fifty minutes
just didn't seem long enough, nor did
ten pages. Thank you, PLAYBOY.
Cl 's Ci
Fort Worth, Texas

That does it, I'm moving back to
"Texas.
Doug Hawkins
Girard, Ohio

As a former Buffalo Jill (1978) turned
housewife and mother, 1 have, at times,
begun to feel that I am “over the hill.”
In light of that, a recent experience was
very refreshing. In the midst of а nor-
mal, hectic day, 1 tried to escape for a.

few minutes, sneaking downstairs to
read your February issue. Alas! In no
time at all. my I-month-old daughter
followed me and climbed onto my lap.
Resigning myself to the fact that 1 would
have to read later, I let her flip through
the pages. She came to the centerfold
opened it, pointed to the lovely Vicki
Lasseter and firmly announced, “Mom-
It made my day!

Debra Dewcy

Honeoye Falls, New York

I have always admired a woman with
a nice ass. Vicki Lynn gets my vote as
the best сусг.

Bob Flury
Baltimore, Maryland

She takes my breath away. What an
excellent job praynoy has done again.
Thanks, Arny Freytag. Could 1 see one
more picture of this beautiful lady?

В. Powell
Dunwoody,

vigi:
At the risk of aggravating your re-
spiratory problems, here's one

breath-taking view of the k
Lasseter.

ly Miss

BLUNDERWEAR
1 enjoyed your Informed Source on
skiing (erAvmov, January).
I was particularly impressed with the
shot of the polypropylene underwe
Women look wonderful in it, and Fm
very glad it also keeps them warm.
Mo Brown
Chicago, Ilino
One thing we forgot to mention, Mo,
was that one of the oulfits, the hot red
one, is made by LIFA/Northsport, Inc.
of Williston, Vermont—a company that
spends long hours making people look
good and stay warm.

cross-count

tot

MAL

2 Marlboro =

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That Cigarette Smoking Is Dang to Your Health.

17 mg"‘tar," 1.1 mg nicotine av. per cigaratte, FTC Report Dec: 79 i

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

STROKE OF GENIUS
Two years ago. workers at the Herrick
treated

Hospital in Berkeley, Californi
an anonymous stroke victim—a mystei
ous fellow with an artificial leg. Dubbed
Long John Silver by the staff, the para-
lyzed patient has been able to communi-
cate with hospital employces only by
blinking. Hearing of the poor pirate's
plight, the Holiday Project Mid-Penin-
sula Committee raised $4000 to buy him
a special computer with a video screen
bearing selected basic sentences. Each
phrase, such as “I'm thirsty,” can be
summoned to the screen by the lightest
touch on a keyboard. Presented with the
newfangled machinery, Silver delivered
his first message to his expectant bene-
factors: "Leave me alone.
.

Yep, the Sixties are
Charles Lankins wanted to do his part
to help during a water shortage in his
home town of Norfolk, Virginia. He
donated the 250 gallons from his water

bed to the city council.

really

over.

WOODY IT BE LOVERLY

If you think you've got problems,
imagine what it must be like to be a
woman plagued by dreams about Woody
Allen, New York psychologist Dee Bu
ton says the phenomenon is so wid
spread and so interesting that she!
putting together a book of Woody
dreams. Some of them are real beauts,
too. One young lady dreamed she was a
roommate of Allen's former companion
Diane Keaton. When Woody returned
to the fold, the lass feared she'd be given
the boot by Diane. Instead,
When Diane left for a trip,
the nervous lady and Woody were faced
On their first
night as a twosome, Allen immediately
invited intimacy by asking the dreamer,

a ménage à

trois ensued

with each other—alone.

"How do you take your soup?"

Another woman dreamed of starring
in a film Woody as a pair of
clarinet-playing Siamese twins. Yet an-
other dreamer envisioned Woody saving
her from a shark attack.

Bizarre? Unreal? Totally stupid? Next
month: women's dreams about Ed Meese?

GRAY PANTHER

Minnie Mitgang of St. Louis may look
like a helpless old woman with her shawl
and cane, but if she totters up to you,
run. She is a deputy sheriff who has
served court orders and subpoenas on un-
suspecting victims for more than 20 years

Mitgang, who carries a toy gun be-
cause she is afraid of handling her real
опе, explains her success: “I don't
vertise who I am; I never display author-
йу; I come on like a nice, subtle old
lady—with young ideas.

Once, she served divorce papers on

with

ad-

brewery magnate August A. Busch, Jr.,
by sneaking past his mansion’s security
people. Busch. realizing he'd been had,
asked her, “Would you like a beer?

And now for a closer look between
those tulips: Helen Singer Kaplan, a
respected authority on human sexuality,
recently let us all know that "vaginal
secretions contain the same chemicals
found in daffodils.”

Auention, beer drinkers: Canada's
Vancouver Sun reports there's a new
game all It's called Whizzers and is

played with little paper battleships and
bull'teye targets that you put in your
toilet bowl. The object, as we under-
stand it, is to sink them.

BLUE BEARD

Men only snicker at women sans
knicker was the lesson learned recently
by Liz Taylor. Leaving a hotel in Swit-
zerland with husband Senator John
Warner and daughter Naomi, Liz flashed
photographers a smile and a lot more
when a breeze blew open her slit skirt and
revealed panty hose—but по panties.
Newspapers had a field day with the
photo, and wi Its the
most of Liz the public has seen in quite
while. It’s nice to know that, despite
all her success, Liz is still the same warm
person deep down.

h good

reason

QUOTE OF THE MONTH

Chicago socialite Abra Anderson,
whose mother was a good friend of
Nancy Reagan's mother: “Everyone

makes Nancy out to be a quiet worshiper
of Ronnie, but she's really a fun broad."

DOWN-SCALE JEANS
Thrift shops in Boston arc strikir
blow against overpriced designer fash-
ions. Nine Morgan Memorial Goodwill

PLAYBOY

Industries outlets in the city are selling
the down-and-out alternati а
secondhand jeans priced at $3.95 and
boast tris cheapo chic
MORG] "s are named not
for a designer but for the Reverend
Henry Morgan, а Methodist minister of
the late 1800s. And in the Boston college
community, the Methodist Morgic's
show signs of unseating their ist
counterparts from the most-popular-
threads throne.

MEDIA GET THE MESSAGE

Representative John Myers of In
ana proved himself untashionably unlib-
erated during а recent Appropriations
Joint Conference, Unable to hear the
proceedings, ABC Washington corre-
spondent Catherine Mackin conlerred
h a colleague on what was happen-
ing, when Myers suddenly announced:
“Will you stop yakking? Senator [War-
ren] Magnuson, there are two ladies
behind me yakking!

Outraged, Mackin shot back: “That's
remark and I resent it. Yakking?
т hat's what we were doing?"

An embarrassed Senator Jim
tried to expla
are reporters!

And, as we all learned in school,
yakking is protected under the First
Amendinent.

MEA CULPA, INC.

Mr. Apology feels sorry for you and

wants to let you know it. Mr. Apology
is a new phone service begun by an
anonymous New York artist that lets
people get their problems off their chest
with no strings attached. Unhappy souls
dialing 212-255-2748 are greeted with the
following message: “Hello, this is Apol-
ogy. Apology is not associated with the
police or any other organization but,
rather, is a Way for you to tell people
what you have done wrong and how you
feel about it. All statements reccived by
Apology will be played back to the pub-
lic, so please do not identify yourself.
Talk for as long as you want. If you
prefer a taped interview with me, leave
number. Thank you."
So far, hundreds of sorry people have
called: muggers, druggies, robbe
people who don’t call their moms, even
a killer or two. But who are the most
interesting callers so far?

How about the psychiatrist who said,
^m admitting people to the hospital
and I don't know what I'm doing"?

Our personal favorite is the contempo-
rary fellow who blurted: "I want to
apologize all the time. 1 feel sorry all the
time. J walk down the street and [eel
sorry. I'm sorry I made this call.”

We're sorry we brought it up.

Sasser
"Congressman, thosc

CHECKING IN

Јаке ta Мона met with journalist Anne
Bardach at her apartment in New York,
She reports that he will do the “On the
Waterfront” speech “I coulda been a
contendah" al the drop of a hat.

PLAYBOY: Did you feel that Raging Bull
represented you ly and accurately?
LA Morra: I felt it w
was shocked. I mean, the greatest ра
the fights, the middleweight champion.
ship. 1 felt good about. The parts that
ide me sad were when Vickie left me
and when I was broke and I took the
jewels out of my championship belt so
that I could seil them.

rLAYBOY: You were selling the jewels to
hire an attorney to beat a Flo
rap. How much did you get for them?
LA MOTTA: I think it was $1500.
PLAYBOY: Ш you weren't Jake La Motta
but just an ordinary moviegoer, what
would you think about the character
Robert De Niro portrays in the film?

LA MOTTA: I don't like him. Z wasn't too
nice a guy. But the. » ends 20 years
ago. In time, I started to better myself.
I started going to church.
PLAYBOY: What about De ?
LA MOTTA: 1 spent a year with De Nir
mostly boxing, before we even shot a foot
of film. After the boxing sessions, he

would walk around with me, wherever
I went. He always had a tape recorder
with him. He knows more about me than
I know myself. He could make a hell of
What that guy does to

a psychiatrist.
vou when he w:
thing is unbelievable. He lea
а boxer, he started off green. 1 told him
not to hold back with me and he gave

me four black eyes, He damaged my
nose. I can't breathe so good. I have to
get another operation. He knocked out

my uppers. It cost the producers $1000 to

have them fixed. He infected my chin
nd I had to have surgery. That cost
another $600. And he gave me a frac-
tured rib.

PLAYBOY: Did you give him anyth:
LA моттА: I gave him love and айса
ad a bloody nose.

Y: How do you rate De Niro as

PLAYBO
boxer?
LA MOTTA: Compared with Sylvester Stal-

lone? No comparison! I rate him the
first 20. Don't forget, I fought some very
good fighters, but Та rate him with may-
be halt the fighters E fought at the time.
PLAYBOY: The big scandal of your career
was when you took a dive in the fourth
round in a fixed fight with Billy Fox.
You were taken before the New York
State Athletic Commission and wasn't.
your license taken away?

LA MOTTA: No. After the fight, I was sus-
pended for seven months. They could
prove that I threw the fight. Later, I ad.
mitted it before the Kefauver Committee-
PLAYBOY: You admitted you threw the
fight for $100,000?

LA morra: No. For a chance to fight for
the midd'eweight championship. They
offered me $100,000, but I wouldn't take
it, I didn't need the money. І wanted а
chance to fight for the title. That's the
way they ran the ball game at that time.
ynoy: When you were suspended for
the Fox fight, were you afraid that
"they" would break your deal and never
let you fight again?

LA Morra: Well. they promised me the
fist opportunity and they kept their
word. And they gave me a championshi]
fight. I was uncrowned champ for fiv
years. Nobody wanted to fight me. I had
a lot of money at that time. I wasn’t
getting any your Thats the main
reason why 1 purposely lost to Billy
I thought by doing "bad." I would get a
ance to fight for the title. But things
1 changed in that length of time, and.
I still had to pay 520,000 under the table
to get that chance.

PLAYBOY: Where were your торые
friends later, when you got busted on
the morals charge in Floridaz

La MOTTA: I know what you're 8 ing to
say: When the sl k

away. Well, tha

‘s the way it is. They
made money on one fight, that's it. The

other times they nted
fights, I wouldn't do
PLAYBOY: Who would you
best all-rou
heavyweight—in histo

1А MOTTA: Sugar Ray Robinson. No
question about

PLAYBOY: Better than yourself? Better
than Muhammad Ali or Joe Loi

LA MOTTA: Well.

t the time, I thought
nobody was better than me. There are
different weights, different classes, but
Ray was a better fighter than anybody
PLAYBOY: Did you resent the t that
you were not a heavyweight fighter?

La MOTTA: Yeah, І did. That little bit

Qurlabeltells you this “One ines ip, ORE taste
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PLAYBOY

Afterglow—From the Bantu phrase
аро glow (also afro sheen), which
refers to the diffused light cast upon а
hed bya lighted
Aphrodisiac—Vincent Aphrodeze was
an enormously successful French oys-
ter wholesaler and convicted swindler.
cent's brother was the demented
ilor “Three Sleeves” Aphrodeze,
inventor of the Alsatian crotch and
the Spanish П
Blue balls—Named for the notorious
Prudesca Bluebaltz, who, after reading
the world’s first and most inept sexual
glossary. stubbornly confused foreplay
h intercourse. Intriguingly. Pru-
desca was married 37 times.

From the Latin Cliffer is?
meaning “Where did it go
Come—This word's sexual usage origi-
nated n England and
was first spotied in the common ex-
damation “Come, posthaste, reach the
height of your passion, my darling,
precious, fragrant marinated mush-
room of my heart!" Walter
сїрї, being slow of tongue, short-
а this to “Come, posthaste.” then,
as his memory started to lapse, sim-
plified it even further to “Compost,”
which is still widely used today by
those with an excessive sense of history.
Dildo—From the everyday Finnish
phrase Dilduh ohboy stupendum.
which means, "Oh, you king-sized
thing that makes no demands, leaves
no mess, cracks fewer bad jokes than.
my boyfriend and is always of heaven-
ly firmness.” (М.В: In ish, the
Bible runs only 46 pages.)
Headlights—From Edellytze, а word
coined by the great Swedish tennis star
Bjorm Volvo to congratulate his op-
ponents. Loosely translated as “That's
quite a set.”
Masturbation—Masturbation was one
of the first great pinball machines, an
ncestor of Space Invaders. (One of
the objects of the game was not to be
caught pl
s flippers and jostling its balls was
so much fun, even when one was
alone, its name became transferred to
other solitary amusements.
Melons—Derived from the wealthy
Pittsburgh banking family, the Mel
lons, doubtless because they are so
well endowed. Andrew Mellon is said

ying it.) Because whacking

to have helped form Pittsburgh's first
community chest.

Nymphomaniac—From Nymphomane
plaze Kringlewalz schtup, a Welsh
phrase used by bands of roving adoles-

Orgasm—From Orgasmo! the Serbo-
Croatian word for "Zippity«loo-dah-
doo-dah-day.”

Refractory period—From the Greck
Refractoric perious waitasec, trans-
Tated as “The pause that refreshes.”
Singles bar—A place where people go
to learn the definitions and deriva-
tions of particular words.
Stud—From Studboffer, the G
word for a man who lies a lot.
Throbbing member—Was never sup-
posed to be a sex term, Pulp-fiction
ers began to use it after. Harold
Robbins’ publisher misplaced the
phrase in the first edition of his cla
sic steamer Initiation at the Elks Club.
To get laid—This phrase comes from
the term a good lay. mers used
that expression to describe a hen that
would put out ten eggs a week. When
the happy farmers migrated to the
putrid cities, they took the lively
expression with them, and it has
helped foster the strange sexual con-
fusion of quantity with quality. Ever
1867, dreamers like
Waldo Fert have prayed tha wild.
chick" would turn into "a good lay."
To give head —Comes from the reign
of the infamous Queen Gunnaling the
Moist, who during the Ninth Сепиц
terrorized Norway. When upset, she
would order one of her courtiers to
decapitate a fishmonger and give her
the head on a silver platter, Midway
through her mesy tyranny, the coun-
wy ran out of fishmongers, so а
desperate young courtier, Sven Moses
(whose nickname was Go Down), de-
vised a new way to please his queen.
Well hung—Another fascinating con-
nection between sex and death. One of
the reasons upper-crust British crowds

since

once flocked to public hangings was
to observe a phenomenon that took
place if the party to be dispatched
was male. Hanged men sport erec-

tions. If this protrusion was sizable,
the well-dressed crowd would yell to
the executioner, "Well hung, well
hung ANDREW FEINBERG

in the movie with my brother Joey was
true. I told Scorsese that story. I cried
like a baby because I was small and
didn’t have big hands and would never
be able to fight Joc Louis.
PLAYBoY: At the end of the movie, you
nd Joey are not on speaking terms. You.
beat him up because you think he's slept
with Vickie, right?
LA MOTTA: Yes. Right. | thought every-
body was sleeping with Vickie.
PLAYBOY: Didn't you put Vickie in the
hospital a few times after beating ha
LA мо Yeah. ] hit her a few times.
A few times I don't remember. I. never
closed my fists or anything like that. One
time I hit her—I wanted to miss her—I
grazed her nose and I caught the tip of
her nose and I broke it. I saw the bone
come out of her nose. I grabbed her nose
and pushed it back. Left a little bit of a
bump. I said, "Oh, my God, what can I
di God answered me. "Snap it back."
PLAYBOY: You're quite a husband. You've
been married five times. Do you want to
fall in love for a sixth time?
LAMOTTA: Don't think I don't have
many opportunities because I'm older.
1 have telephone calls, but I just avoid
it. Im celibate right now.
PLAYBOY: And you're not even in tra
ing. By the way, did you really м
celibate when you were fighting?
LA мотта: In the old days. I thought sex
would weaken me, so I didn't indulge
while I was in training. Sex is relaxing
and to keep it pent up will make you
tense enough to fight with anybody. It
does give you that vicious drive.
PLAYBOY: And legend has it you were one
vicious fighters of all time.
Well, that was my style.
People in the fight game know that. I
just disregarded defense and went all
out. I always gave them their money's
worth. I always wanted to put on a great
show. And I either got killed or I killed.
That's the way I was brought up and
that was the only thing І knew for years.
PLAYBOY: Your hands look so small and
red for a fighter.
La morra: Maybe I missed my voca
I should have been a fag.
rLaynoy: Your filth wile divorced you
last summer and, according to the New
York Post, blamed the breakup of your
marriage on Robert De Niro, saying that
when De Niro began hanging out with
you, you changed your personality and
egan reliving your old glory. Could
that be true?
LA MOTTA: It’s a long story and thats
not true.
тілуноу: How do you feel about De
Niro alter spending two years of your
lile with him?
Ly sorra: He's a gentle man, a nic
I said to him over the phone, "I love
vou, Bobby." He said, “Ме, too." He
came into my life when things were bad.
Somebody up there must have sent hin

uma

B Y AU z inia we
Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined : : : 5 : А
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. cr : TUI x
n. : B mg. “та”, 0-8 mg: nicoting av. per cigarette; FFC Report зл. “Вй.

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44. 4 Swedish йаййт
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ABSOLUT PERFECTION.

wo new books of interviews with Viet-

mam veterans are just coming out,
and the differences between them are as
wide as the Pacific Ocean. ‘Nom (Mor-
row), edited by a named
Mark Baker, has no journalistic credi-
bility whatsoever. Since the interviewecs
are anonymous, the stories told could be
either fact or fiction. On the other hand,
Everything We Hod (Random House),
edited by Al Santoli, who was a rifleman
with the 25th Infantry Division in Viet-
nam, gives the names, ranks, places,
dates of service and. presei
all the people being interviewed, from
Lieutenant Colonel Gary Riggs, advisor
to Special Forces in Laos in 1960-1961,
to Stephen Klinkhammer, Navy medical
corpsman on the aircraft carrier Midway
stationed off Saigon during the fall of
that city in April 1975; a total of 38 de-
tailed and thoughtful interviews, each
disturbing in the best way.

Barry Holstun Lopez is a writer who
is more concerned with the wondrous
mysteries of nature than with the rules
of man. In his nonfiction books and
essays, he has shown how vividly one
can perceive an unfamiliar and/or un-
settling landscape and its creatures. In
Winter Count (Scribner's), he has illumi-
nated that reality with the devices of
fiction. There are ten short stories in
this slim volume (Lopez docs not pro-
duce books by weight), and most of them
read like Lopez' nonfiction; they off
information, as well as subtle drama,
about buffalo, birds, sea shells, Indians,
men in search of ап elusive truth.
Throughout, Lopez intelligence and
skill lead us his way, to perceptions we
might not have had without him.

General George S. Patton, who did
very little to hide his contempt for the
British, once remarked about King
George VI: “Just a shade above a moron,
poor little fellow.” For his part, British
Field-Marshal Sir Bernard Montgomery
didn’t think too much of the American
Dwight Eisenhower nor of his D-day
invasion plan: “[Ike] has never com-
manded anything belore in his whole
career; now . . . he has clected to take
direct command of very large opera
and he docs not know how to do it.
France's Charles de Gaulle didn't. like
anybody very much: “Although it is now
necessary to make pro-English prop-
aganda, fundamentally the British, like
the Germans, are hereditary enemies of
the French; it is the Russians who will
win the war . . . and the French should
fatter them and obtain whatever gains
may be possible from their difficulties
with the Anglo-Saxons; finally, after
gaining control of France, 1 will not

nonveteran

t locations of

Vietnam's soldiers of misfortune.

Impassioned accounts of
combat and fine novels
exploring domestic warfare.

Shelly's Leg: a hit.

stand in the way of allowing the Rus-
sians to occupy Germany temporarily.
An exasperated Eisenhower said: “H
they can't get together and stop quarrel-
ing like children, then I'll tell the Prime
Minister to get someone else to run this

damn war.” This backbiting would be
ng if it were about, say, literary Iu-
aries showing us the regrettable реш
ness to which all of us are prone. But
these men were Allied generals, each of
whose decisions—based on bias, preju-
dice or vanity, as they often were—allect-
ed the lives of thousands and. thousands
of men. David Irving's excellent account
Of this, The War Between the Generols: Inside
the Allied High Command (Congdon &
anès), illustrates how ignoble inclina-
tions can muck up the most noble of
purposes, We should be happy that our
gaggle of prima donnas was able to win
the war.

In Shelly's teg (Knopf), by Sara Vogan,
introduces us to Sullivan, the kindly
bartender who loves Shelly beyond her
death; Birdheart, the wild ex-Marine;
and a musician named Woody who sleeps
with Rita when he should have the sense
to stay with Margaret, the lady at the
center of this powerful first novel.
There are also a women’s softball team,
the beauty of the Montana countryside
and bar talk that makes you wish these
people were your friends. Vogun writes
with precision, depth and feeling,
she hands us a book full of warmth

toughness: a novel for and about men
and women. Equally,
.

Adam Smith reminds us in Peper

Money (Summit) that economists used to
be writers, not folks who hid behind the
language of computers and equations.
Smith 15 an entertaining writer and he
takes us on an anecdotal guided tour
of some landscapes that probably have
been obscured to most of из: the birth
of the Eurodollar (invented by the Rus-
sians), the effect of the 1973 oilprice
ncreases, the fact that there is more
money invested in single-family housing
than there is in the New York Stock
xchange. He does all this not to tout
a strategy but to educate, to teach us
how to think about money.
D

If you're interested in New Wave
music, Volume makes it simple to wade
through the zillions of recordings in ui
brave new world—10,000, to be exact
International in scope. this discography
ranges [rom commercial successes such as
The Clash and Pere Ubu to the less
familiar Dickheads, Gonads and Human
Sexual Response. It's published by One
Ten Records, 110 Chambers Strect, New
York, New York 10007, for $7.95.

The Book of Ebenezer LePage (Knopf), by
G. B. Edwards, is a first and only novel,
published posthumously (Edwards died
in 1976). It is purportedly the autobiog
raphy of a Channel Islander,

Guernsey

PLAYBOY

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GENTLEMAN
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GIV
GENTLEMAN
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Eau de Toilette, After Shave,
and a Complete Collection of Grooming Essentials.

man who. writing in his later years, re-
members friends and family and the
former beauty of Guernsey. Ebenezer is a
wise and cranky man, full of tales about
the way things were before the Germans
invaded during World War Two and the
nd bankers invaded after that.
He writes of the women he has loved
and the women he has feared, of the sea
and the land, of his few men friends—
the best lost in World War One. He
searches for somcone, anyone, to whom
he сап give his small estate
At the end of his autobiography,
Ebenezer writes: “I want to write an-
other.” Would that he had, because this
is first-rate fiction. So good. in fact. that
you have to wonder if there isn’t some-
thing of a literary joke here: John
Fowles wrote the introduction, and he
might have had something to do with
the rest of it, too.

Love, Dad (Crown), a novel by Evan
Hunter, describes the love and eventu.
disaffection of a father and his daughter
between 1968 and 1971. That sounds
like a decent plot, but the book rcads
like a soap opera: The father has to be
the most unhip freelance photographer
who ever lived; the daughter is а super-
ficial hitch who milks him for money
and then rejects him forever: and the
dialog is lightweight and obvious. Hun-
ter wrote the screenplay for The Birds,
which is exactly what this book is for.

Everyone talks about television, but
nobody does anything about it? Not
quite. One exception is the New York-
ers TV aitic, Michael J. Arlen, who
conducted an investigation of his own
into a 60 Minutes investigation and
found that the lads back at CBS had got
their facts Rather wrong. His account of
the episode appears in The Camera Age
(Farrar, Straus & Giroux), a collection of
Arlen's New Yorker pieces from the past
several years, many of them revised
all written with rueful, muscular
gance. Arlen reports that his piece on
the 60 Minules probe (about dirty poli-
tics in Wyoming) evoked a “thin-skinned
and belligerent response” from the ne
work, but no retraction and по at-
tempt to set the record straight. He also
tells us that he sometimes watches the
loony tube while working out on his
rowing machine and that the Today
show and reruns of Ironside are especial-
ly conducive to healthy exercise. OL
nk that criticism
of television has any effect on its pro-
ducers (by the time you've complained,
the show's over, so why bother?), but the
rarer critics, such as Arlen, сату on the
noble battle to insist on quality in
larger doses. Arlen has his own views of
the true nature of box watching. “What
it resembles most,” he says, “is masturba-
tion.” Without an orgasm to make it all
worth while.

course, few people tl

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MUSIC

OUBLE BOILER: Hot Wacks Quar-

terly, a Canadian record-collectors’
magazine, recently ran shots of a picture
disc by the British disco duo Blonde
on Blonde, which has scored a couple of
hits in Japan and Europe. Hot Wacks
surrendered its own fingerprint-smudged
edition to us and for your edification,
here it is. Listening to it turned out to
be a tactical error; it has somewhat
dampened our enthusiasm for the smash-
ing Britons Nina Carter and Jilly John-
son, who have appeared nude in British
tabloids, album covers and our maga-
zine. Take it from us—some records are
made to be seen, not heard.

TRUE DEVO-SHUN: As Billboard had
it, “Officials in Devon, Pennsylvania,
could not understand it. Highway exit
signs, road signs, the local rail-station
signs and the Devon Elementary School
were all losing the final N in the town's
name. Someone in town was turning

Devon into Devo. But what does that
mean? Finally the kids in town explained
about the tribute to the Akron, Ohio,
New Wave group. ‘Unless you have kids,
it doesn't ring а bell,’ the township's
police superintendent told U.P.1.”

REVIEWS

Guitar madness can strike anyone,
anyplace, any time. The only known
cure is an immediate dose of well-played
guitar music applied directly to the
frontal lobe by way of the ears. For-
tunately, relief is in plentiful supply
this month, in the form of four new al-
bums—three of them solo efforts—by
masterful jazz guitarists.

Ralph "Towner's Solo Concert (ECM) is
about as close to pure guitar bliss as you
can get: a brilliant musician going one
on one with his instruments (six- and
l9string guitars), recorded live in con-
cert. The tunes vary from ballads to jazz
waltzes to flights of finger picking. and
Towner is equal to them all, fusing tech-
nical virtuosity with 2 deep musical in-
telligence. The result is stunning.

Steve Khan, a versatile session guitarist
with strong jazz roots, has used his

knowledge of recording techniques to
produce a tour-de-force solo album of a
different kind. Khan plays all the music
on Evidence (Arista /Novus), skillfully over-
dubbing various guitar parts to create
lushly melodic arrangements of jazz com-
positions of the Fifties and Sixties that
are at once contemporary and classic.

Larry Coryell was the first major
guitarist to emerge from the jazz/rock
movement in the late Sixties and, stylisti-
cally, he has never quite recovered from
that early brush with pop stardom.
Standing Ovation (Arista/Novus), his all-
acoustic solo LP, evinces yet again
Coryell's split musical personality. Well-
thoughtout tunes played with great
technical artistry are followed by slight
riff rockers, excuses for Coryell to churn
out endless ragged choruses of blues-
based solos. Too bad.

If it's elegantly understated jazz you're
after, John Scofield is your man. Bar Talk
(Arista/Novus), with Steve Swallow on
bass and Adam Nussbaum on drums,
features Scofield's delicately nuanced,
lyrical guitarwork at its best. Swallow's
playing deserves special credit: It com-
plements Scofield perfectly and functions

PAT BENATAR BAND:
1. Stevie Wonder / Hot-
ter Than July. 9. The
Police / Zenyatta Mon-
dala. 3. Bruce Spring-
steen / The River. 4.
Ultravox / Vienna. 5.
The B-52's/ Wild Planet.

DELBERT MC CLIN-
TON: 1. Frankie Mil-
ler | Easy Money. 2.
Frankie Miller / A Per-
fect Fit. 3. Hank Craw-
ford / Tico Rico. 4.
Heart / Tell It Like It
Is. 5. Freddie King /
Texas Cannonball.

Question: What have you been listening to lately?

LARRY GATLIN: 1.
George Jones / He
Stopped Loving Her
Today. 2. The Doobie
Brothers / What a Fool
Believes. 3. Mac Davis /
Texas in My Rear View
Mirror. 4. Anne Mur-
ray / Broken Hearted
Me. 5. The Charlie Dan-
iels Band / In America.

MICHAEL HENDER-
SON: І. Aretha Frank-
lin / Aretha. 2. Prince /
Dirty Mind. 3. Teena
Marie | I Need Your
Lovin'. 4. George Ben-
son / Love X Love. 5.
Hiroshima / Odori.

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Today, building a motorcycle
become practically a science.

At Honda it’ still an art.

Аг? Anything as beautiful as а СВХ Syntallic" bushings. А new frame design
From the highest of the high tech deserves special handling. utilizes different ing head geometry
motorcycle companies? Creators of the and decreased trail.

Pro-Link™ suspension. Anengine as tech- The rubber on the road is V-rated,
Winners of five nologically advanced tubeless and wrapped around wider-than-
consecutive European # asa СВХ deserves noth- — ever, highlighted aluminum alloy.
endurance road racing ing less than the very ComStar™ wheels.

latest ir

championships. Current

And for the very important part
Manufacturer i

of going, stopping, new stainless steel,

in both Ameri internally ventilated disc brakes,
World open class | Ny, pension syste A e onda exclusive with new twin piston
motocross competition. — / 1 ү calipers.
Well. what would (E H -d ғ у К Now for the
you call the sculptured Prod nsion deliv-

most beautiful part, the

form you see on the left beautiful part.

hand page? What would 25-74
all a machine that b stics. Lc rà
sport touring to a y small road irregularities. Higher
place it's never been before? Ё ates for bigger bumps. The

What would you call a e single shock is both air

The Pr» Link suspension system Ù
makes litle bumps out of Big ones.

ma E as breathtakingly eal des A A (СЩ cl low Ere мат- z
eautiful yet techno- ing light) and adjustable wi!
logically Sophisticated as the 1981 CBX? three distinct rebound damping AC
Most likely, you'd call it art. SE И i e —
А he large extruded alumi- 7 =
n peetry se num alloy swing arm pivots Youcan see how
Be ng. on ball and needle bearings for long life. good the CBX looks.
At Honda, form without function And the unique design of the But whats really beautiful is that
is not considered a virtue. High-perform- — Pro-Link system allows it to be mounted all those handsome pieces aren't just there
ance machinery is low in the motorcycle, lowering the for looks.

built to do just that — center of gravity and improving mass Thesport touring fairing was design-
perform. Then it is centralization. But don't be mislead, lower ed with an air spoiler for both rider

styled to look good do- c.g. doesn't mean less cornering comfort and aerodynamic: giam It has
ingit. clearance for the CBX. With its beveled one storage compartment you can lock,
So beneath the crankcases and high perform- and one you can open with a flick of the
sleekly flowing li ance exhaust system wrist. It helps protect you from the
of the CBX is every- design, you get all the clear- wind without interfering with thecooling
thing you would ance you could ofthe engine. 4
highperform- — wanttostraighten ۲ You can order options like an air
out a mountain road. + temperature gauge, altimeter,
Infront are new 39mm Sy М a voltmeter and a quartz clock.
air-adjustable forks with 7 And the СВХ even comes
smoothaction, low i with color matched, detach-

able locking saddlebags. Because
what good is getting some-
chamber forhigh || е 3 where fast if you cant takeanything
bustion efficiency. That's > with you?
twenty-four in all. in case Гах But maybe the most beautiful
f thing of all about the 1981
CBX is that it isa piece of roll-
ing artwork. Who knows,
accelerator pump aid: ts j i | it may even appreciate in
no lag acceleration. Ignition 1s low ч = Y value as you appreciate it
maintenance transistorized. 7 > 3 á — over the ye:
And the mighty double over- s But whether it does
head camshaft engine exhausts or not, you have the
through mighty impressive si б security of knowing that
two high performance pipes with ч theres one thing you
interconnected chrome megaphone muf- 3 М; сап do with this piece of art
flers. For increased mid-range power * 4 that you can't do with
The power that puts the sport in any other.
sport touring. A quick lesson in art appreciation. You can ride it.

friction dual

HONDA

FOLLOW THE LEADER

ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET AND EYE PROTECTION. Specifications and availability subject to change without notice.
©1981 American Honda Motor Co., Inc. For a free brochure, see your Honda dealer.
Or write: American Honda Motor Co., Inc. Dept. 545, Box 9000, Van Nuys, California 91409.

Ray-Ban sunglasses.
As perfect now as they were 40 years ago

glasses ought to Бе
And why should they change? What you need in sunglasses now is the
ame as it was in the beginning
Glare protection. Sharp, distortion-free vision. Lenses that filter
out the proper amount of sunlight
The only thing that’s different now is the variety we offer yo
of lenses unmatched by any other sunglasses in the world

Ray-Ban sunglasses. Still precision-ground from
the finest optical-quality glass. Still made with real °
WEE. VV = care by Bausch & Lomb G |
BY BA

Tine department stores ard sporting pod In short still the perfect sunglasses, after 40 years.

more as a second lead voice than as
accompaniment. Well done

Rock-movie sound tracks are turning
ugly. What started with Blackboard
Jungle has slowly evolved into last year’s
Times Square and now this year’s The
Decline of Westem Civilization (Slash). No

lon content with rockin’ around the

clock, the collection of West Coast punk
roups involved in this one seems hell.
bent on stomping the clock’s face and
then taking out after the clockmaker
with a straight razor. The music reflects
that anger, ranging from totally out
raged (Black Flag and Catholic Disci-
pline) to mad as hell (X and Circle
Jerks). And theyre not gonna take it
anymore—royalties notwithstanding.
These days, if you give your regards
to Broadway. you stand a good chance
of getting cither propositioned by male
hustlers or mugged by junkies. The Jim
Carroll Band's Catholic Boy (Atco) reflects
the new New York in word pictures of
its м г side. Carroll's lyrics. backed
by str head rock ‘n’ roll, are soi
{ the most powerful to come out of that
city since Lou Reed was in his heyday
It figures: Carroll lived the life he sings
bout, having been a hustler/junkic.
The result is a celebration of sex, drugs
and death that is as unsettling as it is
intriguing.
.
In the tradition of The Soul Sisters,
pair of Amazonian ladies who had
some R&B hits in the early Sixties, come
The Two Tons, a similarly savage two-
оте. Their growls, yells, moans and
raps on Backetehe (Fantasy/Honcy) are
some of the earthiest sounds we've heard
in this era of champagne disco/soul—
nd there's plenty of musical muscle in
the backup sounds.
.
^ nitpicker might say that everything
McCoy Tyner plays comes out the
ame—but thats bound to be the case
with any musician whose conceptions
re so personal, poetic and powerful that
they transcend the limitations of mate
rial and the accidents of circumstance.
The four guest stars who fill out the
McCoy Tyner Quartets on the four sides
of 4x 4 (Milestone)—trumpeter Freddie
Hubbard, vibist Bobby Hutcherson, alto
ist Arthur Blythe and guitarist John
Abercrombie—all wind up adapting
themselves to the pianist's style and be-
coming ornaments in his musical land-
scapes. Believe us, they have nothing to
complain about
А
Musicians like to scoff that it's only
because of economics that record com-
panies reissue so much classic jazz; it's
cheaper than recording new stuff, And,
of course, dead men collect no royalties
They can, however, accrue greater

Imported by William Grant & Sons, Inc

New York, New York® 56 proof

PLAYBOY

glory—and since Eddie Jefferson got so
little exposure during his lifetime, There
1 Go Again (Prestige) is an especially wel-
come four-sided sampling of his genius
A profesional dancer invented.
“vocalese”—the art of adding lyrics to
previously recorded instrumental solos—
Jefferson became its greatest exponent
before he was shot to death in Detroit

who

two years ago in an incident strikingly
similar to the John Lennon assassination

°
quickly apparent in three
other double albums by jazzmen who
left us all too soon. The early ideas of
John Coltrane shine brightly on Rain or
Shine (Prestige), а collection of blues and
standards recorded when “Trane was still
working as a sideman. The Wes Mont-
gomery of Yesterdays (Milestone) is not
the stylized, orchestrated pop /jazz super
star too many of us remember but a

i iproviser who's well showcased
nario setting. Meanwhile
Montgomery's gypsy ancestor can be
heard on django, Volume 1 (Inner City).
a cheerful compendium of tracks record-
ed by guita o Reinhardt and
the Quintet of the Hot Club of France
in the mid-Thir

SHORT CUTS

nius

T. S. Monk / House of Music (Mirage):
Who would have expected the children
of the great Thelonious to sound like
Chic?

Russell Garcia / "| Lead a Charmed Life”
(Discovery): Brief but brilliant jazz
themes that leave plenty of solo space
for Bill Watrous, Teddy Edwards and
Chuck Findley.

Corl Burnett Quintet Plays Music of Richard
Rodgers, Vol. 1 (Discovery): Nonparcil
pian ist George Cables and star Eddie
rforming nobly as a sideman,
ve Rodgers more than his due.

Michael Мусой / Come to My World (Е.
Anyone who enjoys romantic soul
lads will accept the inv

al-

loud: The Whispers and Dick
are what's happening in R&B.
Poul Butterfield / North South (Bearsville)
А sad effort, showing that the man who
blew the meanest blues/rock harmonica

in the Sixties now just sucks.
Johnsen / Айшен

Jen Gerbarek, Kjell
(ЕСМ): Darkly
saxophone duo, a perfect sound tr:
your next nervous breakdown

Keith Jarrett / The Celestial Hawk (ЕСМ):
Overblown, pompous junk. Jarrett has
become the jazz version of Billy Joel.

Carlos “Patato” Veldex/Bata y Rumba
(Latin Percussion Ventures): Afvo-Cul
music stripped to the essentials.

Echo end the Bunnymen / Crocodiles (Ko
тоха): Rock "n' roll with a bite to it from
Liverpool's current Fab Fou

Chico Freeman / Peaceful Heart,
Spirit (Contemporary): Strong j
ments that aren't always so pi

Gentle
ZZ State-
eful,

FAST TRACKS

HERE COMES THE JUDGE DEPARTMENT: A 19-year-old Chicago woman, Joyce Hart,
tried unsuccessfully to get her burglary conviction overturned on the ground
that the judge at her trial committed an error when he suggested she should
listen to Donna Summer's hit record Bad Girls. Hart's lawyers claimed the
judge's remark was prejudicial and implied she was a prostitute, bu! the Illinois
Appeals Court rejected that argument. We thought His Honor was giving Bad

Girls an 85 because

s got a good beat and you can dance to it. . . .

Re AND ROCKING: Countryman,

film by Bob Morley and the Weilers,
will have its world premiere on video
cassette and video dise rather than in
a theater. Then. after release to the
home market, а movie-distribution
deal will be negotiated for later this
yea Dont get mad at us; w
read this item in Los Angeles maga-
zine: Apparently, there are now two
very explicit video cassettes for sale of
Elvis romping around Graceland with
five young ladies. The tapes were re
portedly lifted from Graceland by
irliriend and sold to а porn syn.

dicate. Tape price? Five hundred
dollars and up
newssreaks: Three of the four

members of Creedence Clearwater Revival
are planning to record again. The
missing link is John Fogerty, who has
been living in Oregon and working
on a solo album lor the past five
years. ... By the time you read thi
Groce Slick should have rejoined the
Starship. It was lonely off the charts. .

The Monkees have become one of the
nost popular American acts in Japan
following the rerelease of their 1967
hit Daydream Believer Other
news from around the world: Num-
ber-one album of the year in Russ
Pink Floyd's The Wall was chosen by
the readers of a Russian youth news-
paper. Ironically, The Wall l
been rel le i
but received heavy airplay on Euro-
pean and Asian radio and
widespread black market for home-
made tapes. Other acts that were
highly rated: Blendie, Michael Jackson
and Elton. . . . Capitol Records is be-
ing sued by a musici
he owns tl ights to the name The
Knack. The Knock has been one of
Capitol’s most. successful. groups. Mi-
chael Chain says he registered the name

who claims

with the musicians’ union in 1966,
for a completely different group.
RANDOM RUMORs: When The Police
held a “blondes only” concert in Los
Angeles and filmed it for a movie the
group plans to release this year. the
blondehair policy was strictly en
foreed—but wig merchants were on
hand at the door for fans who d
have the real thing. . . . Now we've
heard everything: Dancing the New
Wave pogo may be hazardous to your
eyes, says а Massachusetts doctor. Dr.
Robert Caspari says that а normally
healthy patient showed up after a
night of pogoing with what was diag.
nosed as eye hemorrhages. This kind
of thing would never happen to
someone doing the funky chicken
City officials in Fremont, Californi
have finally managed 10 put an end
to the all-night benefits at the Phase
Three disco-church, at which 1000
a boogied until

(and а mailorder ity degree)
when the city fathers required him
to comply with an ordinance that

dosed discos at two A.M. but let
church affairs go on till morning

Ten cents of the five-dollar admission
charge went toward membership in
the disco-church. . . . And, finally,
another "human radio" has showed
up. this one in Miami. People have
picked up broadcasts in their. denta
fillings before, but this time a veteran
n a psychiauic ward said he was
hearing music and news in his head
Alter an examination, doctors found
that the vet was picking up WQAM
via small shrapnel fragments in his

skull. The man. who was being
treated as an outpatient, simply went
north, out of WQAM'S signal range.

for a rest. T hat's all, folks.
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hatever else may be said or writ-

ten about it—and you're going to
be seeing plenty—director Bob Rafel-
son's grindingly authentic new version
OÍ The Postman Always Rings Twice (Para-
mount/Lorimar) is a cinch to weigh in
as one of the hottest movies of the year.
Come to think of it, hotter than any
uncurbed passion to hit the screen since
Last Tango in Paris and Shampoo.
There is virtually no nudity but plenty
of explicit scratchand-grapple sex be-
tween Jessica Lange and Jack Nicholson,
an odd couple whose sexual chemistry
takes some getting used to. Once they
connect, though—like a rutting stag and
a doe in heat, locked together amid
loaves of fresh-baked bread on top of the
kitchen table—they generate an air of
danger worthy of Bonnie and Clyde. A
forceful presence, as usual, Nicholson
seems to be playing studied accompanist
to Lange, who is a revelation in this role,
Not only can she act up a storm but the
girl who began her screen career in King
Kong's clutches seethes with a kind of
feral animal magnetism as Cora, the
bored wife of a Greek hash-house owner
(John Colicos), so drugged with desire
for a horny drifter that she and he
devise a plan to kill her husband. She's
terrific, no less.

While Postman was considered a s
zler with Lana Turner and John Garfield
back in 1946, thc late James M. Cain—
a modern master from the school of
hard-boiled fiction—supposedly detested
the slick, star-struck adaptation of his
controversial first novel, published in
1934. I happen to have a sneaking fond-
ness for that earlier Postman, in which
Lana was never lovelier nor so reeking
of dimestore glamor, Garfield never
more gutsy. (Forget about French and
Italian film versions of the book. seldom
seen here.) To his credit, Rafelson makes
the story utterly real. Unlike such semi
classic Cuin movies as Double Indemnity
(filmed in 1944) and Mildred Pierce
(which brought Joan Crawford a 1945
Academy Award), Postman can bear up-
grading. A cryptic screenplay by David
amet sticks close to the book without
phasizing the obvious. There's an in-
terlude between Nicholson and a
lion tamer (played by his offscreen lady,
Anjelica Huston) І could do without,
but such quibbles are overwhelmed by
the raw energy Rafelson harnesses, Sven
Nykvist’s cinematography captures rural
California during the Great Depression

in a collage of peeling paint, weathered
wood and drabness that brings the story
to life sociologically as well as physiolog-
Now we know why an illicit

ically.
couple would commit murder to retain
tide to their ramshackle love nest in a
roadside gas station-diner. Trashy folk,

Nicholson, Lange deliver in Postman.

Postman rings the bell;
Walken, Berenger score in
achilling war movie.

Berenger making War.

yet we cannot pull our eyes away. Better
not Here's the first across-the-board
slate of Oscar candidates for 1981. YYY%
б

Paris during the German Occupation,
1949. A celebrated actress operates the
theater formerly managed by her Jewish
husband, who is in hiding in the cellar.
She hires a new leading man and gradu-
ally falls in love with him, while the
entire company is harassed by a vicious
collaborationist drama critic. That's
about all there is to The Lost Metro (UA
Classics), a French wartime fable so
graceful and civilized that di
çois Truffaut seems to be quietly saying
“Places, please” as he brings up the
lights. Catherine Deneuve, as the actress-

ger Marion Steiner, has her best
movie role in more than a decade and
plays it with romantic warmth, authority
and an elusive star quality that very few
of todays great screen beauties can
match. French cinema's top macho man
етага Depardieu, Heinz Bennent and
Jean-Louis Richard portray, respective-
ly, the new leading actor, the frustrated
husband and the craven critic. All are
superb, for Last Metro on its own terms
is virtually flawless. Except for a taut
moment when Gestapo men come to
search the theater's cellar, there is по
high adventure or Nazi-inspired hysteria.
‘Truffaut seems to be looking into the
t in a mellow mood to discover пай
acts of heroism, the way people managed
to carry on, or to fall in love, or simply
to survive with honor. Last Metro ap-
peals to very special tastes. If the French
could put this sort of thing in bottles,
Im afraid ГА be tempted to ca
brave little wine.” УУУ
.

Decides ago, if Hollywood had got
its hands on a book like The Dogs of War
(UA). Bogart or Gable would have been
signed to top-line an entertaining, richly
romanticized drama about a tough mer-
cenary soldier with a nasty job to do.
Well, that's still the story. Only the
romanticism is missing in director John
s exciting tale (adapted by Gary
DeVore and George Malko from Fred-
erick Forsyth’s best seller), with Christo-
pher Walken as Shannon, the American
professional killer hired to take a com-
mando unit into a West African nation
and knock off the black dictator [or a
fee. I suspect Dogs of War might have
been more fun done the old way, with
all that good-guy warmth behind every
pistol shot and never much blood show-
ing. Its a helluva lot more honest as
shown here, and Walken—who at times
has the cool futuristic look of a hand-
some being from a distant planet—
pumps lead into his victim with chilling
detachment. Whatever he does seems
exactly right, for there are no real good
guys in Forsyth’s saga of power struggles
and treachery, with platinum mines as
the prize that far outweighs any residual
idealism about frecdom. We learn to
admire Walken, if grudgingly, and root
for recruited helpers—particularly
Tom Berenger as Drew, who seems to
take the gig because it sounds better to
him than hanging around the States
watching his pregnant wife swell up. The
women їй these men's lives are dismissed
quickly or ignored. A true mercenary
isn't in love with love, he's in love with
danger. Filmed on three continents—
with Belize in Central America substi-
tuting nicely for the fictional sun-baked
state of Zangaro, West Africa—Dogs of

e nall at once

e prized beer to the

j ew. A chorus of

ас е out, a barrel of

eady, and never

lew men and their

so eagerly wel-
oard.

ndeed a memo-

- — San Miguel.

Classic beer of the Pacific.

SIDE EFFECTS OF
CIVILIZATION.

Among the rewards of living in
the modern world, there are a
few booby prizes. Including phones
that ring too long and too loud.
Alarm clocks. Traffic jams. Newspa-
Pers full of bad news. Blaring
radios. And the tension that comes
with them.

That's why, in 1950, we cre-
ated Club Mediterranee: a unique
holiday based on the belief that.
to shed the trappings of civilization
is the most relaxing way to vacation.

Today, at the more than
90 Club Med villages around the
world, you wont be bothered
by TVs or telephones, radios, news-
papers or clocks. Nor will you
miss them.

You'll be lazing on a long sun-
ny beach. Dancing all night. Feast-
ing onour French cuisine, with its
freshly baked breads, pastries
and bottomless pitchers of wine.
Water-skiing. Windsurfing. Scuba
diving. Playing tennis.

Whats more, its all included in
a prepaid weekly price that's less
than what many hotels charge for
amere room. There isnt even any
tipping

Ага as you avail yourself of all
the heady diversions we offer you,
youll realize that at Club Med time
is to be savored. Not hurried
through. Or worried through.

Club Med, P.O. Box 233,
West Hempstead, NY. 11552.

For a free brochure call your
travel agent. Or send us this coupon
Name.

Address
City Е
State. -Zip.

Are you already a member of Club
Lec

Med?
OYes ONo
Activities vary from village to village

THE FIRSI ANNUAL

$150,000

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Las Vegas, NV 89109.

War is never what I'd call inspiring. But

it's lively, action-packed, intelligent and

as wickedly fascinating as a snake pit. YYY
.

Roger Moore directed by England's
Bryan Forbes, Lino Ventura directed by
France's Edouard Molinaro, Ugo Tog-
nazi directed by Italy's Dino Risi and
sene Wilder directed by himself make
up Sunday Lovers (MGM /UA), а four-part
comedy about philandering of one kind
or another. The premise is strained, the

fihn generally slight and foolish. If I
were picking favorites—and 1 am—
Moore's bit would be funniest. with

Roger cast in An Englishman's Home as
a roguish chauffeur who pretends to be
the lord of the manor and seduces
stewardesses (Priscilla Barnes on this oc-
casion) a
lordship's away. The game gets com-
horny titled lady
(Lymn Redgrave) shows up in full sail.
Another sequence, titled The French
Method, almost makes it, with Ventura

the stately "ome while his

plicated when а

playing a businessman who gets a vulgar
Ате! п colleague (Robert Webber)

fixed up for the night with a vulnerable
part-time secretary (Catherine Salviat). As
for the other Lovers, Wilder's outing with
Kathleen Quinlan is the dreariest. and
he wrote it himself, Saawled on the back
an envelope, or 1 miss my guess. ЖУ

On the evidence sent over here, there’s
only one ranking Dutch film maker—
Paul Verhoeven, whose Turkish Delight
and Soldier of Orange well deserved the
attention they drew. Spetters (Goldwyn),
a scrambled story of flaming youth on
motorcycles in modern Rotterdam, looks
to be too litle, too late for American
audiences their fill of The
Wild One back in the Filties.
Nevertheless, Verhoeven's actors are ex-
cellent, from Rutger Hauer as a racing
champion to Hans van Tongeren as a
hopeful young biker who has a crippling
accident to Toon Agterberg as а lad
who makes a career of mugging homo-
sexuals (until they rape him in retalia-
tion and help him discover that he's
onc of them). Spetters also boasts a
new nonstop sex symbol named Renee
Soutendijk, who reminds me of carly
Valerie Perrine, playing a blonde with
scruples so sketchy she peddles over-the-
counter sausages made from canned dog
food. It must be said for Verhoeven that
even his second-best films exude cer-
tain rough vitality and credibility, and
he seldom pulls his punches whether
dealing with violence, four-letter words,
fellatio, straight sex or frontal nudity. ¥¥

Fans of David Bowie ought to be
ready for the unexpected, and Jes о
Gigolo (UA Classics) more than fills the
bill This moody, ironic period piece
about Berlin during the turbulent
Twenties resembles Cabaret without the

who had

Lovers’ Moore and Barnes.

Lovers dishes up feeble
fourplay; Bowie and friends
revel in deutsch decadence.

Gigolo's Novak, Bowie.

song cues, though there's music, too, in
an atmospheric score of golden oldies.
‘The melancholy title song is sung by
Marlene Dietrich—herself ап 18-karat
golden oldie making her first movie ap-
pearance in 17 years. Dietrich is the
baroness who manages a stable of young
gentlemen for hire, among them Bowie
Geman World War One hero.
Decadent Berlin is painted so wickedly
as a city of lurid fleshpots that you'll
almost wish you were there, going to hell
handsomely. 1f Bowie has anything, it's
style—as he proved in his flashy first sta
ring role in The Man Who Fell to Earth,
ad again when he took over the dramat-
ic leading role in The Elephant Man on
Broadway. I can't think of any rock star
whose sareen presence conveys such cool
authority plus a kind of unisex app:
Directed with finesse by actor David
Hemmings, who doubles in a supporting

role, the movie offers relatively straight
sex appeal in the person of vivacious
Sydne Rome—conjuring memories of
Cabaret's Sally Bowles as а perform
er named Gilly who has a penchant for
Hollywood producers and princes. Nor
should we forget to ogle Kim Novak, in
great shape for her role as а general's
widow who seduces Bowie on the floor
of the family crypt, only inches from her
late spouse's coffin. Made mostly in
Germany, Just a Gigolo is a cinematic
curio, but a compelling one for movie
goers ready to explore bizarre byways
far off the safe, smoothly paved middle
of the road. ¥¥¥

.
You may feel you're hallucinating as
Space (International Harmony)
gathers the real thing—a head wip based
on NASA documentary footage, some of
it grainy. most of it spectacular. much
of it never before shown, with addition
al film from the Soviet space program.
Music by rock composer Mike Oldfield
enhances this audio-visual essay about
the first moon walk, the Soyuz-Apollo
rendezvous in space and numerous rock-
et launches viewed from a splendid
new perspective that makes most cine-
matic science-fiction look silly. American
astronauts gamboling boyishly on the
lunar surface or reveling in their weight-
lessness in orbit are typical of the adven-
turous exuberance projected by director
Tony Palmer, who put Space Movie
together with minimal narration. The
is implied, and
cosmic, more show than tell, less a lecture
on man's magnificent achievements in
space exploration than a salute to thc
spirit that moved us. How soon we forget.
How mind-blowin, yyy

Movie

enthralling

to remember
.

The mixture of a boy, a dog, a bear,
a wild boar and a drunken Indian who
mends his ways sounds like a recipe for
conventional family entertainment. Fish
Hawk (Avco-Embassy) soars far beyond
expectations, because the title role is
played powerfully by Will Sampson, the
Indian actor who was unforgettable in
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Again,
he's a loner who seems to sense he be
longs 10 a dying breed. He is the stuff of
which legends are made in this sensitive
Western. adventure film, directed by
Canada’s Donald Shebib, with a largely
Canadian cast. Shebib makes everyone's
work look casy, because he does his own
job so well As the boy Corby, young
Charlie Fields plays an expert second
fiddle to Sampson's majestic macho pro-
fundo, "They are wonderful together
small-scale "buddy" movie that has more
honesty, authenticity and excitement per
running foot than most saddle-soap op-

cras with budgets 20 times greater. ¥¥¥
۰
Honorflm aficionados are unlikely

to conler cult si

The Howling

tus on

PLAYBOY

(Avco-Embassy), set in a kind of Esalen
retreat frequented by werewolves. The
heroine is a comely TV anchor woman
(Dee Wallace) who's sent away to re-
cuperate Irom а hairy close encounter
and finds herself exposed to shocks far
than group therapy and hot tubs.
director Joe Dante’s poker-faced
h, there are clues throughout
that The Howling was not meant to be
taken seriously—for example, a tongue-
in-check appearance by writer-actor John
Sayles as a morgue attendant. Sayles,
whose Return of the Secaucus Seven
last year established him as a young film
maker of particular promise, rewrote this
script (with Terence H. Winkless) and
obviously knows how to play it—in a
spirit of mischievous fun. ¥¥
.

At first glance. The Boss’ Son (Lagoon)
appears to be a movie about the gen-
eration gap—a sensitive young man
launched on a classic Arthur Millerish.
guilt trip when he goes to work in his
father's carpet factory. Actually, with
an effortless leap from obvious auto-
biography to universality, this minibudg-
eted ($214,000) feature says plenty about
several more cogent subjects: American
business, the hayes and have-nots, racial
enmity and the sad limitations of broth-
erly love. The titular hero, whom writer-
director Bobby Roth has named Bobby
Rose—lest we mistake his purposc—is
played slickly but well enough by Asher
uner. The casual touches, fresh per-
ights and secondary characters
are the movie's strengths. Bobby be-
friends the black workers at the plant
and tries to date a strong-minded black
woman (Michelle Davison), who tactfully
puts him straight in a muted love scene
of particular tenderness. Bobby's mother
is a sometime lush (played with almost
aucl precision by Rita Moreno, who
usually explodes onscreen like a Mexican
piñata). Rudy Solari as the boss-father,
s Darren as an arrogant inlaw,
Henry С. Sanders as Bobby's friend the
truck driver and Richie Havens as a dis-
patcher are all fine in a movie richly
endowed with cooperative talent, if not
with funds and bankable marquee
names. Perhaps because of competition
from TV, such perceptive, small-scale,
wellanade movies have trouble finding
adequate distribution. This oncs a
sleeper worth going out to sce. ¥¥¥

The tough new police captain who
governs by the book and the easygoing
veteran officer who knows the street
people on his beat are clichés familiar
from countless cops-and-robbers epics in
all media, Even so, Fort Apacke, the Bronx
(Fox)—with ethnic roots in New York's
infamous 41st Precinct—has a double
advantage in TV's Edward Asner as the
stubborn captain and Paul Newman as
the likable cop, playing a good guy
who's never too good to be true. Oh,

Paul Newman in Fort Apache.

he'll blink at minor police corruption;
hell even offer to obtain drugs for a
nurse he likes well enough to help her
shake the habit. He stops at cold-blooded
murder, however, when he knows the
killer is one of New York's finest. Gritty
realism and gutsy performances save
Fort Apache from mediocrity—Newman
on top of it all the way, oozing charisma
from every pore. As his partner on pa-
trol, Кеп Wahl registers like a rising
star. So docs newcomer Rachel Ticotin,
vulnerable and credible as the Puerto
Rican nurse; and there’s a really knock-
out, if bloodcurdling, series of sneak
attacks by Pam Grier as a deranged pros-
ише. Director Daniel Petrie (a рт
whose previous credits include Resurrec-
tion with Ellen Burstyn, Eleanor and
Franklin for TV) takes a fair-minded
approach to this sociological slice of life,
assuring equal time to everyone—rich or
poor, honkie or Hispanic, Serpico or
hardened sinner. Fair's fair, but it's no
guarantee of movie excitement. ¥¥¥
e.

Sooner or later during 1981, in many
major cities, there will be special show-
ings of Nepoleon (Zoetrope), а 1997 silent
masterpiece by French director Abel
Gance. This reconstituted four-hour epic

now boasts musical accompaniment com-
posed and conducted by Francis Coppo-

la's father, Carmine, commanding a
GÜ-piece symphony orchestra. But the
movie's the thing. Gance, still alive and
well and liying in France at the age of
91, proves himself a dazzling innovator
whose work dramatizes not how much
moviemakers have learned since 1927
but how much they have forgotten.
Splitscreen and triptych effects. includ-
ing a smashing tricolor climax, are as
spectacular in their way as anything
donc by the special-efiects geniuses be-
hind Star Wars. There are slow spots,
repetitive stretches, but Napoleon over-
all is an authentically great historical
drama, perhaps the most comprehensive
treatment of the French Revolution and
its aftermath ever caught on біп. Any
bona fide movie buff should consider
Napoleon a must. ¥¥¥¥

REVIEWS BY BRUCE WILLIAMSON

MOVIE SCORE CARD

capsule close-ups of current films
by bruce williamson

Altered Stotes An exhilarating head
trip marred by moments that smack of
The Wolf Man Goes to Harvard. ¥¥¥

The Boss’ Son (Reviewed this month)
Family business makes good. КЕН

The Dogs of Wor (Reviewed this
month) Thrills, spills in the Third
World à la Frederick Forsyth. yyy

Eyewitness An expert comedy-thriller.
by Peter Yates, with Sigourney Weav-
er and William Hurt finding love at
the scene of the crime. yyy

Fish Hawk (Reviewed this month)
Will Sampson stars as a reformed
drunken Indian whose heart's as big
as all outdoors. yyy

Flash Gordon More flicker than Flash,
but fine comicstrip villainy by Swe-
den's Max von Sydow. yya

The Formula Brando, George C. Scott.
and Big Oil set off sparks. vy

Fort Apache, the Bronx (Reviewed thi
month) Helped by Paul Newman as a
good сор in a bad part of town. УУУ

Hard Country It's Urban Cowboy re-
ited, with Jan-M ] Vincent and
Kim Basinger raising dust. БИЛ

The Howling (Reviewed this month)
Werewolves of Esalen. yy

Inside Moves Warm human ccmedy
їп agin mill, with John Savage. ¥¥¥

Just a Gigolo (Reviewed this month)
David Bowie, Dietrich and decadent
old Berlin, And that's a lot. yyy

The Last Metro (Reviewed this month)
François Truffaut's graceful valentine
to showbiz in wartime France. УУУ

Lunch Wagon Fast food and low com-
edy featuring Playmates Rosanne
Katon and Pam Bryant, both gourmet
dishes. yy

Nopoleon (Reviewed this month) An
unforgettable 1997 masterwork, lov-
ingly and meticulously restored. УУУУ

Ordinary People Let's hear it for di-
rector Robert Redford. wey

Popeye An irresistible Swee'pea and
Shelley Duvall's Olive Oyl are the eye-
popping assets of this comedy, УУ
The Postman Always Rings Twice (Rc-
ewed this month) Hot remake. ¥¥¥%
Sceners People who need people
for a kind of brain drain in David
Cronenberg's eerie sf shocker. УУ

Space Movie (Reviewed this month)
Surreal adventure, straight from
NASA files. yyy

Spetters (Reviewed this month) The
Rotterdam Dutch on motorbikes. УУ

Sphinx Lovely Lesley-Anne Down as
an Egyptologist beset by evildoers
who know a lot about tombs. yyy

Sunday Lovers (Reviewed this month)
Slightly senior sex games, vv

¥¥¥¥ Don't m зз Worth a look
YYY Good show ¥ Forget it

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Filter: З mo. "tar," 0.4 mg. nicotine av. per cigarette, FIC Repon Jan. 1980:
Menthol: 3 mg. “tar.” 0.4 mg. nicatine av. per cigarette by ЕТС Method:

RASPBERRY DAIQUIR

Discover the delights of
Heublein's delectable new creation.
luxuriate in the provocative mingling of
ripe raspberry flavor and fine rum.

Then, to enchant your senses another way,
savor the sublime tartness of our new lime daiquiri.
Or pick from the rest of our crop of fruit daiquiris:
peach, banana, strawberry and pineapple.

Whichever you choose,
it'll be something you'll love delving into.

yx COMING ATTRACTIONS ><

pot созі: Richard Dreyfuss will play the
І role of the young Albert Einstcin in
a new Disncy film scheduled to start
sometime this ycar. Animation will be
used to illustrate Albert's thought proc
esses. . . . Margot Kidder's latest film
project, Heartaches, represents an image
change for the actress. She's going blonde
to play the role of Rita, a lusty, whiskey-
gulping carth mother. Says Margot: "I
took this part because it was as unlike
Lois Lane as 1 could find.” A Canadian

Dreyfuss Kidder

film, Heartaches is about two girls who
go off to the big city to seek love, jobs
nd control over their own destinies. .. .
20th Century Fox TV is currently devel-
oping Nine to Five as a half-hour sitcom

in association with Jene Fondo and the
film's producer, Bruce Gilbert. . . . Univer-
sal has cast Fred Astaire, Melvyn Douglas,
Douglas Fairbanks, Jr, John Houseman and
Patricia Neal lor the film version of
Peter Straub's bestsclling novel Ghost
Slory. . . . In their third motion picture,
Cheech & Chongs Nice Dreams, the
raunchy duo play madcap ice-cr
salesmen in hot pursuit of their fantasy
woman, sexy Evelyn Guerrero. Both of
C & C's previous films have been huge
box-office successes. Their secret? he
key is that Cheech and І are really a
good audience,” says Tommy Chong. “If
we think our stuff is funny, most people
who like Cheech and Chong will think
it's funny, too." . . . Jack Lemmon and Sissy
Spacek costar іп Universal's Missing and
Presumed Dead, to be directed by Costa-
Govros. Universal also has three remakes
on its schedule—Scarface, The Thing
nd The Cat People, the last to be di-
rected by Paul Schrader. . . . Peter Falk plays
the fast-talking manager of two female
tag-team wrestlers (Vicki Frederick and Lau-
rene Landon) MGM's All the Marbles.
Frederick, by the way, starred in the
Broadway productions of A Chorus Line
and Dancin’,

DERRING-DO: lesley Ann Warren and Ken
(The Wanderers) мем kept actor-turned-
director David Hemmings far from bored

when they insisted on doing their own
stuntwork for Race to the Yankee Zeph-
comedy-adventure about a race to
ieve a $50,000,000 payroll lost years
before in the crash of a World War Two
plane. Hemmings had few hesitations
when Wahl—an avid motorcyclist and
dirt-bike rider—asked to do his own
stunts, but it was a slightly ferent
matter when Lesley offered to do the
same for a high-speed jetboat dash
through whitewater rapids. The only
casualties were Henunings’ face—which
reportedly turned blue as he held his
breath—and a few of his hairs . . . which
turned gray.

ORDER IN THE COURT: Wolter Matthau and
Jill Clayburgh star in Paramount's First
Monday in October, set for release on—
you guessed it—the first Monday of next
October, in. Washington, D.C. Based
on the play by Jerome Lawrence and Robert
E. Lee (Warren Burger saw it three times),
the film is about the Supreme Court and
what happens when the first lady Justice
is appointed to the bench. Matthau plays
a ctusty, liberal judge (modeled after the
late William ©. Douglas) and Clayburgh
plays his counterpart—a conservative,
hard-nosed jurist from Orange County,
Californ he Odd Couple with gay-
els, you might say. They first come to
verbal blows when an obscenity case in-
volving an X-rated film titled The Na-
d Nymphomaniac comes before the
Court. Matthau cites the First Amend-

Matthau

Clayburgh

ment, while Clayburgh holds that por-
nography is a damaging influence on
y. Neither budges. Two interest-
One, director Ronald Neame is
said to have bought stock footage from a
real porno film for the scene in which
Nymphomaniac is screened for the Jus
tices. When it gets too raunchy, he cuts
to the shocked faces of the audience. It
all became so boring that Neame ran
footage of Urban Cowboy upside down
to break the monotony. Interesting note
number two: Actor James Stephens, who
plays Matthau's law. clerk, Mason, also
plays the role of law student Hart їп

the TV series The Paper Chase. It's nice
to know he was graduated.
.

тор stcret: For months, the subject of
Steven Spielberg's next film, Raiders of the
Lost Ark, was kept very, very quiet. We
knew it starred Harrison Ford and Karen
Allen, that it was being produced by
George lucos and that it was due out this
summer, but that was about
tensible reason for all the secrecy was
Spielberg's fear that somebody might
make a quickie TV flick out of his
project; but now that the cat's out of
the bag, it seems more likely that Lucas
was just up to his old trick of keeping
everybody curious till the last minute.
Whatever the reason, here's the poop:
The titular ark is the Old Testament's
of the covenant, the chest in which
Moses is supposed to have placed the

Ford Allen

tablets on which the Ten Command-
ments were inscribed. In the film, the
ark has magical powers so potent that
whoever is in possession of it literally
has God on his side. Ford plays
chacologist sent to find the lost ark dur-
ing World War Two, and Allen, whose
father was the last link in the search for
the artifact, aids in the pursuit. The
rub is that Hitler has also sent a team
to locate the magical ark and whoever
gets there first wins the
б

CASTING САШ: At presstime, producers
of Rocky II were looking for somcone
to play the role of a heavyweight boxing
champ opposite Sly Stallone. They need-
ed a black actor, about 61^, who could
be “tough, mean, disgusting, ugly and
believable in the role." Former heavy-
weight champion Joe Frazier and actor Jim
е being considered, along with
Boxing Council _ light-heavy-
weight champ Matthew Saad Muhammad,
who read for the part in Hollywood.
But when the character was described
to Muhammad, he replied: "E can be
mean, tough, disgusting and believable
as a heavyweight champion, but ugly?
Can't look ugly.” —]JOHN BLUMENTHAL

ar-

THE FIRST BOAT SHOE
DESIGNED TO PERFORM AS WELL
ON LAND AS IT DOES AT SEA.

The boat shoe we're referring
to is made by Timberland. And it's
the first one that takes into account
this simple fact:

MOST PEOPLE WHO
WEAR BOAT SHOES NEVER
SET FOOT ON A BOAT.

The boat shoe, as we know it

today, is actually a misnomer. Timberland uses waterproof leather impregnated with oil.
Because what started out as It remains soft and supple. Sperry Topsiders leather has a painted-on
something worn exclusively by pigment finish. It eventually dries out and cracks.

people who sail is now something
worn by virtually everyone.

‘Today, boat shoes are as accept-
able with a sport jacket and tie on
Saturday night as they are with foul-
weather gear that same afternoon.

The problem is, while their
acceptance has improved tremen- oo0ooooooooo
dously, the quality of boat shoes Our laces arc rawhide. To prevent rusting and resist m our eyelets are solid
hasn’t. brass. Sperry's аге painted metal. Once the paint goes, so does the protection.

BOAT : HOE
VS. THE SPERRY TOPSIDER.

When people think of boat
shoes, one name always comes to
mind. Sperry Topsiders.

We're about to change that.
And we've started at the bottom.

The sole on Sperry's biggest-
selling boat shoe is made ofa soft
rubber compound. Timberland’s is
a rugged Vibram® sole.

‘Theirs is anti-skid, anti-slip; ex-
cellent on boats. So is ours.

An abrasion count measures a sole’s resistance to wear and tear.
The higher the number, the better. Sperry's abrasion count is about 70.
Timberlands is twice that.

But where Sperry’s sole falls We use only solid brass eyelets. boat ride away.
down is on land. Sperry’ 's sole They use painted metal ones. So what it comes down to is
is stitched directly to their uppers. Finally, Timberland hoat shoes this: You can get a pair of boat
When the stitching breaks, Sperry’s are completely handsewn. They're shoes designed to hold up well just
sole flaps. T imberland's sole is bond- so comfortable, the breaking-in on a boat. Or a pair of boat shoes

ed to а mid-sole. Ours doesn’t flap. period ends the day you put them designed to hold up.

But the heart of a Timberland оп. And they're handcrafted in New а
boat shoe isn’t just the sole. Unlike England, by people whose families Timberland ё®
Sperry’s, Timberland’s uppers аге have been practicing this art for ри bw

made only of waterproof leathers generations. While Sperry Topsiders КО. Вох 370, Newmarket, New Hampshire 03857
which are impregnated with oil. are often made by machine, along Available at Vanguard-Open Country.

bob e +

All you need to get emergency funds where
they don't Know you.

"The American Express Card and your personal check and
you're in business. You can get up to $1000, with $200 of

it in cash, and the balance in Travelers Cheques at anyof the
more than 1,000 Travel Service Offices‘Other check-cashing
privileges are available at participating hotels and motels
all around the world and at some U.S. airline counters. All of
ese services are subject to cash availability, regulations and
local currency laws overseas. Being able to get funds
in an emergency is just one more comforting reason у.
„for always carrying the American Express Card. ezres
E». Dont leave home without it, 2

PLAYBOY'S TRAVEL GUIDE

By STEPHEN BIRNBAUM

IECKS are very big business—

TRAVELER’
bout 35 billion dollars at last count—
and the industry continues to grow. On
the surface, everyone scems to he happy.
‘Travelers profit because the checks are
replaceable and usually yield better ex-
change rates than dollars overseas. The
companies that issue the checks profit
because they get to hold your money
without paying you any interest,
you get around to cashing the checks.

But the profits that compani
make during this holding period—nor-
mally called the float in the wade—have
led to a barrage ol conflicting advertis-
g claims and lots of raucous rhetoric
that can make it difficult for unwary
travelers to tell which check is the best —
or. in fact, if any difference exists at all.
You may recall that over a year ago we
tried to find out firsthand.

Since the time of our original research.
the competition for travelers” dollars has
grown enormously, and there is one
important new player in the traveler's-
check sweepstakes. Barclays Bank, once
the issuer of its own checks, has joined
the new Visa group and is selling checks
under the Visa name. So this seemed a
perfect time to go back into the field to
see how the current crop of competi-
tors—American Express, Citicorp (which
issues First National City and/or Citi-
corp checks), BankAmerica, Thon
Cook and Visa—compares today.

First the good news: All of the travel-
er'scheck companies have maintained ог
improved their refund capacity within
the U.S. We chose the Thanksgiving
weekend to "misplace" all five of the
leading brands, and by the conclusion of
ng Eve, our researcher ‘had
I hve companies and arranged to
receive refunds. We are able to advise,
‚ that any traveler headed for
domestic destination will have little dif-
ficulty in choosing from among the
rival brands. We think the wisest course
is to acquire those checks that aila-
ble at least cost (frce is even bett
since every one of the competitors seen
to offer equal refund service.

That is not at all wue when you
travel abroad, however. I personally took

Ш five brands to London between Christ-
mas and the New Y placed”
them and found signific differences

in obtaining refunds. Results for four of
the brands that we had investigated pre-
viously—American Express, Thomas
Cook, BankAmerica and Citicorp—
American Express
icst firm from which
to obt a refund с kends and
holidays. because it has offices that are
open during those periods. "Thomas

were just as before.
is clearly the

REFUND
RESEARCH REDONE

The field's newest
entrant delivers the
lowest foreign performance.

Gook again was a close second, since it
has branches open for a half day on
Saturday. While Citicorp and Bank-
a are just fine when it comes to
making refunds during normal business
hours on normal business days, they are
ly hopeless on a weekend or a holi-
day in а foreign country.

Which brings us to the question of

a, the newest entrant in the traveler's-
check competition. Based on our domes-
tic research, we had high hopes for the

Visa system, but getting a refund from
Visa in a foreign country turned out

to be a lon lhtmare.

1 made my first call to the Visa folks
at approximately 9:30 A.X. on Saturday,
December 27. The number I called was
one I found in the London telephone
book and, regrettably, І was first con-
fronted with that internal recorded voice
that requested that 1 leave a message.
Since I'd be out of my hotel most of that
day, that was not particularly practical.
Next, I followed the suggestion on the
slip that accompanied my Visa checks
and called collect to а number in San
ancisco. That number is billed as a
fund referral service, but two
calls made that Saturday went unan-
swered.

To double-check the Visa telephone
number, I called а friend in New York
on Monday morning amd had her call
number in rancisco.
She was given a dilferent number from

that printed on the check form; but to
keep this research consistent—we were
comparing refund capacity on weekends
and holidays—I didn't try the new num-
ber until New Year's Day. Turned out it
didn't much matter, since the second
number didn’t answer, either.

On a last desperate hunch, 1 tried
the original number again, and that
time the phone was answered. Someone
named Charlotte took down reams of
information and then calmly informed
me she could not authorize a refund be-
cause I was reporting my loss more than
72 hours after it had occurred. It would
be necessary for me to call Chicago the
next day.

Why Chicago? you might ask. Well,
Visa traveler's checks are an odd
amalgam. 1 had purchased mine from an
office of Deak-Perera (the international
currency firm) in New York, but the
checks also bore the name of the First
Chicago Cheque Corp., which (it turned
out) was the prime issuer.

Remember, I was calling on Thursday,
New Year's Day, and I pointed out that
the six-hour time difference between
Chicago and London would mean that
even the earliest possible call (nine A.X)
to Chicago the next day would nearly
coincide with closing time at most Lon-

don banks. Charlotte could do nothing

but give me the Chicago number and say
I should ask for a Mr. Serpico.

At precisely three р.м. London time,
I called Mr. Serpico, and although
Charlotte was to have notified him about
my loss, he knew nothing whatever about
it. He told me he would have to call
San Francisco himself to check the de-
Is. At 3:40 рм. in London, San Fran-
cisco called me, and “Ella” told me my
refund had at last been authorized.
Since the last banks close in London а
3:30, that was of little help, though EL
said London's Bank of Credit and Com-
merce would e me a refund on
Saturday.

The conclusion of what was fast be-
coming The Great Visa Refund Cape
was no more productive than its start.
A very nice Indian gentleman at the
Bank of Credit and Commerce calmly
told me it didn't make refunds (it only
sells Visa checks) and put me on to the
Barclays Bank refund center in. North-
pton. He told me that there wer
only two refund centers near. London

that were open on Saturday—onc in di
tant North London and the other at
even more tant Heathrow

Since I was leaving for home from
Heathrow the following day, I decided
10 pick up my refund then—which 1 did.
Foreign conclusion: It looks as if К.
Malden knows whereof he speaks.

E961 BEWT Co.

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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

Н... do yon go about restoring sexual
interest in a relationship? My husband
and I seem to have reached
We still make love once or twice
but there is no spark. He doesn’t seem
10 be open to changing the routine. 1
gave him a copy of The Joy of Sex for
Christmas. He told me that he didn't
have time to read it but that I should
nd give him a summary. Is опг
ation hopelesz—Mrs.. D. К. Los
Angeles, California.

If you can figure ош a way 10 sum-
marize “The Joy of Sex.” you might have
the ultimate quickie. As for the situation
you describe: It may not be hopeless,
but it's certainly fucked up. Many men
are reluctant to discuss sex with their
wives, and vice versa. They may feel that
their fantasies are too bizarre io be
realized in their own homes, so they re-
treat into silence and apathy. If you try
to disregard the heat of your own fan-
fasies, уои will soon find yourself
trapped in routine, dutiful sex. And that
is no sex at all. Sex therapists have spent
the past decade trying to find ways to
break down the communication barrier
between partners. Michael Castleman de-
scribes one exercise in his book “Sexual
Solutions.” Each person makes a list of
all the things he or she wishes the other
person would do in bed, then ranks the
list in terms of “least difficult for your
partner" to “most difficult.” Start with
the easiest (and you may be surprised at
just how simple some of the suggestions
сап be—kissing, hugging, snuggling,
ete). Don't try to rush through the list
in one night. IL can take months before
you are at ease with the give-and-take of
lovemaking. Of course, if the list starts
with spiked heels, whips or chains. or a
complicated maneuver involving the
Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, you may
have a problem.

Although my current phono cartridge
is seven years old and I have replaced
the stylus many times, I have been ad-
vised to buy а new cartridge. I see no
reason to do that, since I still get great
sound and apparently the company has
no plans to take replacement styluses
off the market. Will a new setup improve
the sound quality enough to justify the
h cost of a new cartridge?—O. P.,
Tucson, Arizona.

Subjectively, you may not notice a
radical improvement; but the fact is,
nothing lasts for Frequent stylus re-
placement is a good idea, but what you
are doing is similar to pulling new tires
оп an old auto suspension. It improves
traction but not the ride. Disc cutting

has become so sophisticated in the past
few years that new cartridges and stylus
shapes are required to best reproduce
music from the new groove configura-
tions. Most older cartridges will not
track the new digital discs well nor
accept the new stylus shapes. Take the
plunge and give your old cartridge a
decent, if long overdue, burial.

V recall reading that one of the symp-
toms of herpes was cold sores or canker
sores in the mouth. І have had canker
s off and on for several years. Does.
mean 1 have herpes?—D. F., Port
nd, Oregon.

According to an article in The Helper.
canker sores share many of the symptoms
of cold sores, but are not the resull of
the herpes virus, Researchers report, “It
is estimated that anywhere from 20 to
50 percent of the population suffers from
these sores, which, like herpes, break out
in burning, painful ulcerations, singu-
larly or in groups. Unlike herpes, though,
canker sores rarely appear on the im-
movable mucosa (hard. palate, attached
gum)—a characteristic sufficient. to dif-
ferentiate them from primary or recur-
rent oral herpes lesions (which may occur
concomitantly). Still, the small. oval,
light yellow sores are painful enough
that eating and drinking can be diffi-
cull. . . . Though the physiologic events
that lead to canker sores ave uncertain,
physical trauma, slight injury, cating
abrasive foods, emotional stress and nu-
trition all seem to play some role. As
with herpes infections, it would appear
that controlling stress and paying atten-

lion to proper diet may be of some
benefit in decreasing the frequency and
severity of outbreaks.” Jf you are con-
cerned about herpes as well, you should
contact Help, P.O. Box 100. Palo Alto,
California 91302. Membership costs ten
dollars a year. In addition to publishing
the newsletter above, the group has
chapters that offer counseling in several
major cities.

Because the cost of new cars has risen
so much in the past few years, I have
considered buying a used model in good
condition, The question is one of main-
tenance costs. 1 don't want to have to
restore a car, yet I want the benefit of
the Jower cost of a used one. At what
point do the maintenance costs become
prol &?—L. T., Washington, D.C.

Cars experience the greatest deprecia-
tion the first three years of their lives. If
you drove about 10,000 miles a year, you
could cut every $100 you spent on own-
ing and operating a new car nearly in
half if you bought a three-year-old auto-
mobile, largely because of differences in
depreciation and insurance. After six
years or 60,000 miles, maintenance costs
begin to vise sharply. Al eight years, ac-
cording to a study done by Hertz, they
exceed the car's value. Naturally, those
are averages and depend a great deal on
the original maintenance and current
condition of the used model. Ii is im-
portant to note, hou that with a
used car, you are not making an invest-
ment thal will pay high dividends, since
an eight-year-old саг will have little if
any resale value.

Bam 22 years old and. for some reason,
g my menstrual peri
od. To satisfy my desires, T enjoy having
sex frequently during my monthlics. In
ke an otherwise messy sit
ation а bit more tidy, I insert my
diaphragm before intercourse to stop
the flow of blood, and then remove it
ter lovemaking. Although I value the
results of that technique. I've begun to
question its safety. Are you aware of any
harmful side effects that may result from
a, Georgia.

It's quite common for women to feel
turned on during their period. During
arousal, blood flows into the pelvic re-
gion. The peak of desire is thought to
be caused by pelvic congestion. The
same thing happens during menstrua-
tion, and the two feelings may be sim-
ilar. We see no harm in your use of the
diaphragm. If you continue to use con-
traceptive jelly and leave the diaphragm

order to m

PLAYBOY

in place six hours, you shouldn't suffer
any ill effects. If you make love for
longer than that, then you should start
worrying about exhaustion, malnutri-
tion, losing your job, missing rent pay-

ments, etc. Enjoy.

FRecently, 1 was scared into signing up
for one of those stolen-credit-card noti-
fication services. The pitch was that 1
could be held liable for up to $50 in
penalties per card, should someone use
it illegally. A friend tells me that's hog-
wash; that no one can legally enforce
such a penalty What's the scoop?—
R. T., Chicago, Illinois.

Your friend is half right. According
to the Truth in Lending Act, the issuer
of the card can charge you a penalty
only if it has sent you a self-addressed,
postage-paid notification form. Nobody
wants to incur the expense of sending
all its cardholders those forms. If they
don't send the forms, they can’t charge
the penalty. But don't. feel you've been
taken. Depending on how many cards
you have, you could save the subscrip-
tion cost in toll calls alone to the various
companies, And you really can't beat the
convenience of having only one call to
ma Most of those services cost less
than $15 а year, and that’s a small price
for the peace of mind they give you.

V have a feeling that I am a little bit
behind the times concerning anal sex. I
had never heard of heterosexual anal
activity until my fiancé (now my hus-
band) proposed it. I put him off until I
could find out enough information to be
comfortable with the act, but I still don't.
know anything. I tried asking my doctor
and he just got uncomfortable and did
not say anything. Help! My husband is
ient. Do I have to make
any special preparations? I know I must
sound rather innocent, but actually, 1
am rather eager, too. Would you just
tell me a little bit about il Mrs. Е. L.,
Seattle, Washington.

The key to enjoying anal sex is relaxa-
tion on the part of the woman. A good
lubricant is essential. K-Y jelly or various
oils are most frequently recommended,
but avoid petroleum jelly, because it isn't.
water-soluble. The male should use a
welllubricated finger to gently probe
and prepare the female anus for pene-
tration. When the anal sphincter has
relaxed sufficiently, penetration. can be
attempted, but that, too, should be done
slowly and gently. If there is anxiety or
pain for either partner, slop at once.
You will need to experiment with differ-
ent posilions io sce which is most com-
fortable. You might start with the
common one of the female kneeling and
bending slighily forward. Or the male
can lie on his back, with the woman
sitting astride him, which allows her to
control the depth of penetration. In any

case, do not move from anal to vaginal
penetration without first thoroughly
washing the fingers or the penis. If cau-
tion is exercised, there should be no
bleeding during or after anal inter-
course, Take your time, and we hope the
experience is pleasant for both of you.

ІМІ, уск out is one of my real
joys. I can watch what I want when I
want, Unfortunately, I still have to rely
on the same old TV sound. I see a lot of
advertisements for TV-sound enhancers.
The problem is the prices range all ov
the board, with differences of as much as
5100. How do those machines differz—
M. P, Altoona, Pennsylvania.

TV sound is FM sound, the same
кіпа you get over your FM radio or
receiver. The main problem is in the TV.
speakers; they're just too small to
achieve any kind of presence or depth.
The simplest of those sound enhancers
and the cheapest is little more than a
wire that you hook up to your TV-
speaker terminals and then to your home
sterco to play through its speakers. The
controls on your recewer can then mod-
ify the sound lo your liking. Farther up
the ladder are systems that provide
“simulated stereo.” electronically sepa-
rating signals to give the impression of
stereo. Some of those come with their
own speakers and some play through
your music system. Its not real stereo
and doesn't sound like it. I's simply
monaural sound coming through two
speakers. Lastly, there ате the separale
TV tuners, radiolike devices that pick
up the TV FM band. Theoretically, they
should provide the best fidelity, since
they don't depend on your TV's tuner
for the inilial gathering of signals. What
you get from all is louder sound and
some control over the highs and lows.
The catch is that they all depend on the
sound quality of the telecast. You can
make your decision based on your wallet.

Clan you tell me if th
fine figment of our imagination? When
my husband and 1 have sex with me sit-
ting on top, it lasts a lot longer than
other positions (and we've tried a few).
Is that common?—Mrs. C. L., Boise,
Idaho.

Ils not your imagination. Most men
last longer when their partner is on top.
For one thing, they are more relaxed

is a fact or a

(lension usually accelerates climax). In
addition, since the female is in control,
she can set the pace. She often chooses
to prolong both her and her mate's pleas-
ure. This is one of the finer aspects of
the Equal Rights Amendment.

talking about me. What I do get is a run-
ny nose, occasional bleeding, the kind of

irritation that makes you want to rip

your honker off your face and constant
trips to the bathroom. Is that all there
i}—M. P., Los Angeles, California.
Face it; you're a music lover, not a
coke sniffer. Taking your problems one
ata lime: First off, the runny nose comes
with the territory. Cocaine dries out the
mucous membranes of your nose. Your
body, in defense, sends as much moisture
as il can to the area. It has no way of
knowing when it's sent enough or if
you're going to send another load of coke
in, so il just keeps running. Assuming—
and that’s making a pretty big assump-
tion—that what you have is primarily
cocaine, the bleeding comes because the
coke has not been chopped sufficiently;
that is, reduced to powder. A large chunk
of coke simply eats through your flesh.
That’s also what may be causing the
irritation. If it is, а water douche in the
nose is the answer. Finally, you've be-
come very good friends with your john
because coke has been known to be a
natural laxative and diuretic. The upshot
is that cheap thrills don't come cheap
and can be somewhat less than thrilling.

Pin trying to understand soccer, I really
am. But with the advent of indoor
games, I'm more confused than ever.
Aren't there any rules about the size of
the field? I've seen it played on football
fields and on soccer fields that look s
bigger. Now, with indoor soccei
they're smaller. What gives?—R. I
Dallas, Texas.

The international naiure of soccer has
played havoc with field sizes. The orig-
inal dimensions of the soccer “pitch,” as
slated in the rules, indicate it should be
no more than 130 yards nor less than
100 yards long and no more than 100 nor
less than 50 yards wide. As you can see,
that’s a lot of leeway. International
matches, according to the soccer commis-
sion, should be played on a pitch a maxi-
mum of 110 x 75 meters or a minimum
of 100 x 64 meters. Indoor soccer can be
played on a pitch the size of a hockey
rink. It is not, therefore, regulation
soccer. Because of the smaller size of the
indoor court, however, the goal-post
width, ordinarily eight yards, has been
reduced proportionately. It’s no wonder,
then, that the international. rules of
soccer demand that the home team in-
form the visitor in advance of the size of
the pitch it will be playing on,

АШ reasonable questions—from fash-
ion, food and drink, stereo and sporis cars
to dating dilemmas, taste and etiquette—
will be personally answered if the write
includes a stamped, self-addressed en-
velope. Send all letters to The Playboy
Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N. Michi-
gan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. The
most provocative, pertinent queries will
be presented on these pages each month.

Freestyle always -
was Е :

7 He Kos how to wear his diamonds: J

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Prices may change substantially due to differences in diamond quality market conditions,

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YOU
NEEDED IN THE CLUTCH.

You know that sinking feeling that can
come over you when you stop оп a hill
with a standard shift automobile?

Well, now, in a Subaru, you don't
have to hold your breath. With an >
exclusive Subaru feature called Hill-
Holder, your car won't roll backwards.

Just depress the clutch and
brake, and the Hill-Holder automati-
cally engages.

When your foot is removed from
the brake, the car will not roll back
ward.

In fact, it will remain стр
until the clutch is released and the
accelerator depressed to proceed up
the hill.

No drifting back, No white
knuckles. No sweat. You no longer go
downhill on your way uphill.

SUBARU.

INEXPENSIVE. AND BUILT
T" STAY THAT WAY.

"AVAILABLE ON CERTAIN MODELS. © SUBARU OF AMERICA, INC. 1981

THE PLAYBOY FORUM

acontinuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers

ZIPLESS

In your February interview with Tom
Snyder, he says, “I've had little ‘zipless
fucks’ on the air on a number of occa-
sions. On one occasion, I desired that it
would be more than zipless but, un-
fortunately, she [Liv Ullmann] brought
an entourage with her, and when I raced
ош to the elevator . . . she was there with
18 people. And so it remained ziples

Hmmm. In Fear of Flying, Erica Jong
introduced the concept of zipless fucking
thus: “The zipless fuck more than a
fuck. It was a Platonic ideal. Zipless
because when you came together zippers
fell away like rose petals, underwear
blew off one breath like dandelion
fluff. Tongues intertwined and turned
liquid.” And so on.

І guess I'd better start tuning in to
the Tomorrow show more often. Sounds
like I could save a lot of the dough Гуе
been spending on X-rated cable TV and
video Cassettes.

Bob Murray
New York, New York

SIMPLE SOLUTIONS

Arthur L. Dunne, a circuit-court judge
here in Illinois, has ruled that any sex-
education course that teaches methods of
birth control must also include lessons
in abstinence. G idea, I say, but why
stop there? Let's extend this fascinating
concept and solve some of our other
pressing problems.

Instead of designing smaller, fuel-
efficient cars to save energy, why not just
give people lessons in staying at home?
And speaking of the home, this ridicu-
lous need for everyone to have a bed of
his own has created a terrible housing
shortage. Let's double up and sleep every
other night. That should be plenty for
anyone.

And while we're at it. let's take all
those cartons of canned food and pow-
dered milk headed for Bangladesh or
wherever and slip inside each one a copy
of The Complete Scarsdale Medical Diet.
Alter all. if those folks stopped eating,
they wouldn't need nearly as much food.

(Name withheld by request)
Moline, Illinois

SEE NO EVIL

With the country’s political climate
apparently changing. 1 hear more and
more opposition to the idea of sex edu-
cation for young people. The argument
is made that informing children, even
teenagers, about sex implicitly condones

or encourages it, which is about the same
as arguing in favor of the proposition
that everything not mandatory is forbid-
den. Human beings don't operate that
way, of course, or any other consistent,
predictable or necessarily intelligent way.
We're human, after all—to the dismay of
simplistic moralists and idealistic intel-
lectuals alike.

My own sex education occurred in
rural Tennessee nearly 30 years ago, а

“T looked out the window
and saw a bull mating
with a cow in a field.”

it took me about 20 of those years to
start getting a lot of basic facts straight,
which calculates out to a good ten years
after Т became pregnant first and mar-
ried a few months later, at the age of 18.
I didn't learn much from my otherwise
caring and loving parents. One time,
when we were driving home on a coun-
try road, І looked out the window and
saw a bull mating with a cow in a field,
its front legs up on the cow's back. I
said something like, “Look, Ma! Lookii
how that bull's trying to climb up on
that cow!

She said to me, t pay it any
attention, dear. He's just standing up
that way so he can see farther

(Name withheld by request)
Memphis, Tennessee

BORN-AGAIN PORN

Last year, as a joke, one of my friends
sent my name to Jerry Falwell. Since
then, I've been receiving enough of his

junk mail to kindle my fireplace well
into the winter.
Out of curiosity, I occasionally open

some to sce just what filth the righteous
reverend is cleaning up these days.
Imagine my surprise recently when an
inner envelope rumbled out with ADULTS
ONLY !—SEXUA EXPLICIT MATERIAL
n headline-sized letters. Drool-
ind fumbling, 1 ripped it opem.
ide were excerpts from Life and
Health, a dry college textbook that ap-
parently is widely used in schools.
Stamped at the bottom was the warning
PLEASE DESTROY IMMEDIATELY. With liter-
ature from Falwell, that seemed an un-
necessary order. Then I began to think.

I seem to remember that, а few years
ago, a magazine publisher named Ralph
Ginzburg went to prison. If I remember
correctly, the advertising m
mailed from some towns with naughty
names [Intercourse and Blue Ball, Penn-
sylvania] wasn't very spicy, nor was his
fancy magazine, Eros, but Ginzburg was
convicted of pandering because he said
it was.

Now, those paragraphs from Life and
Health aren't very titillating, either, but
Falwell says they're sexually explicit. So
I'm going to load up the whole shebang
and send it on to the Postmaster Gen-
eral. 1 think a short jail sentenc
six months or so—might be just the
thing to teach Falwell to stop pandering
to my prurient interests.

(Name withheld by request)
Lafayette, Indiana

GOD'S ARMY

The right-wingers seem to believe
they have a new opportunity to pull
the wool over America’s eyes, this time
behind the votes of lonely, frightened,
desperate followers of evangelists and
demagogs. I say, as a word of warning,
those people are on the move, converg-
ing on positions of power. If we don't
stop them now, it will be even harder
to stop them in the future.

As I write this letter, I am watching
the Christian Broadcasting Network
from Norfolk, Virginia. The preacher is
dressed in battle fatigues. He is calling
on "all patriotic Americans" to join
God's army, "for it is all voluntary; He.
has no conscription.

“For God promises us,” he continues,

PLAYBOY

“that if we fight for Him. ours shall be
the right to rule His minions. You can-
not be, as Pilate was, neutral in this
battle, for the battle lines are drawn.
And God's armics, the armies of the
cross, shall be saved; they shall have
destroyed the enemy and exacted retri
bution for disobedience to the command
ing general. Jesus Christ. And, friends,
sacrifice is the order of the day. Our ex
penses are increasing, so sacrifice for the
good of the fight. We're praying for
you. Good day.”

People, sit up and take notice! Or
America will be necding all the prayers
it can get.

Gene Cayanaugh
Knoxville, Tennessee

SCIENCE LESSON

Before we put theology ahead of sci-
ence in conducting our national affairs,
let us remember the pronouncement
made by some Aristotelian professors
who were 17th Century contemporari
of Galileo. They declared, “Jupi
moons are invisible to the naked eye,
and therefore can have no influence on
the earth, and therefore would be useless
and therefore do not ex
me withheld by request)
Chicago. Illinois

NEW BILL OF RIGHTS

Anybody remember Hitler? Tyranny,
authoritarians, Fascism, World War
Two? Well, if you are for a rather
spooky serving of déjà vu, consider the
proposals of the Moral Majority's favor
ite son, the Reverend Jerry Falwell. Гус
scen his two-page ads in TV Guide pro:
moting his “Christian Bill of Rights
and I'd like to interpret some of them:

+ "Amendment П: We believe that.
om justified capital punishment,
no medical or judicial process should be
introduced that would allow the termina-
tion of life before its natural or acci-
dental completion.” Women who become
nt shall be required by law to
ildren,
iment IV: We believe that
no traitorous verbal or written attack
upon this beloved nation advocating
overthrow by force be permitted by any
citizen or alien living within this coun-
uy." Retract the Declaration of Inde
pendence and repeal the Bill of Rights.

+ "Amendment УП: We believe in the
right to influence secular professions, in-
cluding the fields of politics, business,
medical, in establishing and main-
moral principles of Scripture."
Restore the Roman Empire and the pow-
er of the Pope. Or the Ayatollah

* "Amendment VIII: We believe in
the right to expect our national leaders
to keep this country morally and mili-
tarily strong, so that religious freedom
and Gospel preaching might continue

FORUM NEWSFRONT

what’s happening in the sexual and social arenas

MOONING MENACE
PENACOOK, NEW HAMPSHIRE— T he
Merrimack Valley school board has de-
cided to crack down on students who
practice mooning from school-bus win-
dows. The penalty for mooning, su

pension of bus privileges for 20 days,
came about after a woman bus driver

reported that she had nearly had an
accident while following another bus
in whose back window suddenly ap
peared a student's bare buttocks. Dur-
ing the board's discussion of the
problem, one member had to be ad-
vised what mooning meant.

CONTEMPT OF COURT

MONROE, — FLORIDA—4 Marathon
Shores atlorney received а six-month
suspended sentence for contempt of
court after telling reporters, “1 think
it's obscene,” referring to the two-year
prison term given a client convicted of
possessing 26 grams of marijuana on his
first offense. To the astonishment of the
local legal community, Dade County
judge Ellen Morphonios Gable held
that lawyers do not have the same free-
dom of speech as other citizens. She
ruled that attorney Leonard J. Cooper
man, as an officer of the court, “bore a
heavier burden in exercising his free-
dom of expression. He owed a duty to
curb his tongue in order to avoid bring
ing into scorn and disrepute the ad-
ministration of justice.” Asked by the
judge if he didn’t think his remark was
“a bit disrespectful.” Cooperman an-
swered, “1 felt there was а difference
between disrespectful and contemp-
” After the decision, other lawyers

tuous.

made a point of responding to reporters"
questions with “No comment" or insist-
ing on anonymily. Cooperman is ap-
pealing the contempt conviction with
the support of the A.C.L.U. of Florida
and the Criminal Defense Attorneys
Association.

MINIMIZING SIN

BOSTON—A two-year survey of abor-
поп patients at three. clinics revealed
that 66 percent were Catholic women,
mostly single, who had elected to abort
their pregnancies rather than "sin re-
peatedly by using birth control." The
study was conducted by a British sociol-
ogist and. involved 1162 abortion pa-
tients at Bill Baird Centers in Boston
and Long Island, New York. Baird,
a longtime birth-control crusader, said
the findings confirmed “what I already
knew from years of observation—that
the vast majority of patients
Catholic and 90 percent could not
tell their fathers.” He added, “Catholic
youngsters tell me if they use the pill
for 21 days, that’s 21 sins. But if they
have an abortion, that's only one sin.”
The study also found that 70 percent
of those who had had a second abortion
were Cutholic.

were

FINE PRINT

NEW ORLEANS—The Fifth U.S. Cir-
cuit Court of Appeals has upheld an
Atlanta court's ruling that an insurance
company does not have to pay benefits
in the case of а man who died from
chugaluging two thirds of a bottle of
Scotch at a 1978 Christmas party. The
company argued that the death was
nol, as specified in its policy, “а direct
result of accidental bodily injury and
independent of all other causes, as evi-
denced by a visible contusion or wound
on the exterior of the body." Cause of
death was listed as aspiration pneumo-
nitis due to acute ethanol intoxication,
a condilion similar to suffocation

CONSUMER PROTECTION

MINEOLA, NEW YORK—A 61-year-old
Baldwin man was fined $10,000 on a re-
duced charge of attempted fraud after
customers received soft-core pornogra-
phy instead of the “dazzling hard-core”
magazines promised by his mail-order
company. The district attorney said the
little six-page booklets were as "tame"
as anything on the local newsstands
and did not qualify as obscene.

DIET BABIES

PARIS—Afler 20 years of studying the
effects of diet on the sex of unborn
children, a French pediatrician has
decided that women who want boys
should cat salty foods and those who
want girls should eat cheese, Speaking
before an international scientific group
at UNESCO headquarters, Dr. Joseph
Stokowski said that “more than 80 per-
cent of pregnant women determine
the sex of their baby without even
knowing it.” He suggested that а salty,
potassium-rich diet, including such
foods as meat, potatoes and tomatoes,
invites the conception of males, while
a diet rich in milk products and green
vegetables is more likely to produce
females.

CONTENTED COWS
LEHEM, SOUTH AFRICA—Farmers
are being cautioned to watch what their
animals cat after reports that horses
and herds of dairy cows have gotten
stoned on marijuana. State agriculture
officials issued the warning after one
farm was forced to stop production
temporarily, when its cows wandered
into an illegal pot field and grazed on

the grass. The cows became excessively
content and wandered around aimlessly
for three days, and their milk was de-
stroyed because of possible contamina-
lion. According to a departmental
bulletin, horses thal ate the marijuana
stood stiff-legged in their paddocks.
“not to be moved by beating or an
exlended carrot.”

w
women responding to a confidential
survey of Federal civil-scrvice employ-
ees reported that they had been raped
or sexually assaulted. by either bosses

or co-workers while on the job, and 42

percent said they had experienced
other sexual pressures ranging from off
color jokes (o. pinching and fondling.
About 15 percent of the males surveyed
said they also had been subject to some
form of sexual harassment within the
past two years. The study was ordered
by the chairman of the House Post
Office and Civil Service Committee fol-
lowing hearings last fall that indicated
widespread sexual harassment in Gov-
ernment offices.

DEBAPTIZING

AUSTIN, TENAS—For a Len-dollar dona-
tion, Madalyn Murray O'Hair's Amer-
ican Atheist Center is now offering
“debaptism certificate establishing
that a person has "accepted the su-
premacy of reason” over "arbitrary
assumptions of authorily or creeds.” In
addition to the certificate signed by
A.A.C. founder O'Hair, the center says
it will register а formal notification
with the church where the original
baptism took place.

WRONG NUMBER

PITTSFIELD, MAINE—A simple dialing
error led police to the arrest of а local
marijuana dealer after a customer call-
ing a 442 prefix instead reached а 443
number that happened to belong to the
Pittsfield Police Department. Thinking
the officer who answered was putting
him on, the caller persisted in his
efforts to score some pot. The cops fig-
ured out his m » dialed the other
number and arranged to make their
own buy—plus a bust.

ANOTHER WRONG NUMBER

KANSAS CITY, MISsOURI—A woman mo-
torist with the license plate GPG 666
has filed suit in U.S. district court to
obtain a new number, contending that
the one she has wrongly identifies her
as the Biblical Antichrist. Citing “Reve-
lations” 13:18, which associates the num-
ber 666 with “the beast,” the woman
said that because of her license, other
members of her fundamentalist church
"won't have anything to do with me.”

IRREVERSIBLE JUSTICE

MARYVILLE, TE A 23-year-old
man sentenced to 20 years in prison for
rape has been denied a new trial, even
though the alleged victim later recanted
her testimony. In а sworn statement
and later in court, the 18-year-old
woman repeatedly denied that any
таре had occurred, but circuit-court
judge John Crawford responded that
“a criminal offense is not a lawsuit
between a victim and a defendant" and
denied а motion for a retrial. Prosecu-
lor Steve Hawkins said, “We do not
drop cases on the whim of the victim."

X-RATED COOKIES

POLIS, MARYLAND—T he execu-
tive director of the Maryland Moral
Majority has failed to persuade local
police that they should arrest a bakery
owner for selling sexually explicit gin-
gerbread теп and women. James

Wright claimed that the baker violated
state law by selling two minors, sent
into the store by the M.M.M., items

representing humans with sex organs.
He insisted, “These are obscene cook-
ies, and there's no way you can get
around that.” After police shrugged the
matter off, Wright went to an assistant
state's atlorney, who said, “Al 1 saw
was a visual representation of a ginger-
bread man, not a visual representation
of a person.” The bakery manager said,
“Tf somebody comes in who's 17 and a
half years old, they don't ask if he's 18.
1 don't think they card a person to sell
a cookie.” The manager also called the
entrapment effort “outrageous,” but
added, “We expect to triple our sales
after this free publicity.”

Meanwhile, Maryland lawmaker
Robin Ficker is blaming an unknown
prankster for filching some of his offi-
cial stationery to introduce a bill titled
the Pornographic Cookie Control Act
in the state legislature.

BALLOONING BREASTS

Women with silicone breast implants
could be in trouble if they were in a
high-altitude aircraft that suddenly lost
cabin pressure. Writing in The Journal
of the American Medical Association
(JAMA), Dr. Charles Gullett of Atlanta
notes that the silicone bags inserted
into women’s breasts are designed for
sea-level air pressure and that, at 30,000
feet, the implants could triple in si
if depressurization occurred. “This,”
Dr. Gullett says, “might create some
discomfort.”

PLAYBOY

unhindered.” Create a President's Com-
mission on Semantics and Bullshit to
figure out what that means.

And, probably most near and dear to
the Reverend Falwell's heart:

* “Amendment X: We believe in the
right of legally approved г
ganizations to maintain their ta
status, this right being based upon the
historical and scriptural concept of
church and state separation.” The Tenth
Amendment hardly requires explana-
tion. Taxing the churches would put
Falwell out of business.

(Name withheld by request)
Michigan City, Indiana

CONSERVATIVE CONTRADICTIONS
The views of the far right pose d
turbing contradictions. Traditional

conservative elements favor less Govern-
ns’ lives, yet

ment intrusion into cit
they would amend the Constitution to
ban abortion. Similarly, organizations
with Freedom and Liberty in their
titles seem to believe in selective appli-
cation of those principles. Hopefully, it
is not unreasonable to think such terms
should be used literally, protecting the
responsible exercise of free choice.

Paul Sullivan

San Francisco, Calif

EQUAL OPPORTUNITY
Here's one you'll love (from no less
a source than the Federal Register).

Where employment opportunities
or benefits are granted because of
an individual's submission to the
employers sexual advances or re-
quests for sexual favors, the employ-
er may be held liable for unlawful
sexual discrimination against other
persons who were qualified for, but.
denied that employment or benefit.

1f I correctly understand that E,
it could have a far-reaching effect on my
sexual behavior. For example, do 1 have
to limit my relationships to those em-
ployees who show no appetite or apti-
tude for advancement? If I'm caught
porking a female employee, can gay male
workers file grievances? Or if I bed all
my subordinates (whew!), am I then
immune to prosecution?

But what about Affirmative Action?
(I'm a bit concerned about one rather
fat female typist, G.S. 7, with В.О. and
buck teeth, who doesn't turn me on.)

(Name withheld by request)
Washington, D.C.

REEFER MADNESS
Here in Nashville, our police chief,
Joe Casey, wants to impose the death

penalty—but not just for murder, may-
hem or selling atomic secrets to the
Russkies. Nope, the chief wants to wipe

out, once 2nd for all, what he considers

to be the country’s number-one prob-
lem—reefer smoking. According to the
paper:

I think the penalty ought to be
the electric chair and it ought to be
used. People may call me horri-
ble, cruel and a hard old chief, but
it's hard to see parents look at their
child and go through what they have
to go through because some no-good
scum of the earth has got their child
liooked on drugs.

Hooked on pot? If you're one of those
liberal types who think marijuana

FILM GUIDE OFFERED

On behalf of Cine Information, 1
wish to thank the Playboy Founda-
tion for its generous support of our
new book, In Focus: A Guide to Us-
ing Films. This how-to book an-
swers an important public need for
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ize a screening for groups of
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critic Amos Vogel praises as "an
absolute must for anyone interested
in promoting or u
A companion service to In Focus is.
i ion: the computerized
Film Users’ Network, another project
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Playboy Foundation. Membership is
free and each person or organiza!
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bara Margolis, Executive Director
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relatively harmless, Casey has some news
for you:

People say one won't hurt, but

before they know it, they are
hooked. It takes people a іше bit
longer to get hooked on marijuana,

but these people who sit there and
tell you it's not harmful and won't
hurt you don't know what they're
talking about.

If it's any consolation, community re-
action to the chief's crusade has been
totally unfavorable. Casey has been un-
der pressure to resign and the gene
feeling around here is that he’s slipped

a gear. Keep up the good work and
please, please give the Libertarian Party
some ink. I think the founders bed
some from your Playboy Philosophy
series of the early Sixties. They're cer-
tainly saying a hell of a lot that needs to
be said and in a most compelling manner.
(Name withheld by request)
Nashville, Tennessce

SEX LAW VOIDED

As you may already know, the New
York Court of Appeals ruled in our favor
in People vs. Onofre and declared the
New York consensual sodomy law uncon
stitutional. The decision is based, in
large part, on the creation of a funda-
mental right to privacy that protects
timate sexual relations between hetero.
sexuals and homosexuals. We hope to be
able to use that decision as a basis for
future litigation.

We would like to thank the Playboy
Foundation for its support of that liti
gation. Its generous assistance made
it possible for us to undertake the legal
work necessary to achieve this important
victory.

Rosalyn Richter, Executive Director
Lamda Legal Defense &

Education Fund, Inc.
New York, New York

DEATH-PENALTY DEBATE

‘A legal execution may not prevent the
first murder, but it will most certai
prevent a murderer from killi
‘That is a guarantee to which innocent
citizens are entitled.

David A. Johnson
Bar Harbor, Maine

Amen to those who defend capital pun-
ishment and a sonorous flatus to your
confused and illogical position that it has
no known deterrent value. As long as we
continue turning murderers loose to re-
peat their deeds, we are failing one of the
primary tasks of a civilized society.

К. W. Rees
Wilmington, Delaware

Who's in favor of releasing killers to
kill again? T hat's an issue totally apart
from the pros and cons of capital punish-
ment and one that questions the opera
tion of our criminal-justice system itself.
We'll be getting into that in future issues.
Meanwhile, see our second report on the
case of former Indiana death-row prison-
er Larry Hicks on pages 66 and 67.

"The Playboy Forum" offers the
opportunity for an extended dialog
between readers and editors of this
publication on contemporary issues. Ad-
dress all correspondence to The Playboy
Forum, Playboy Building, 919 North
enue, Chicago, Mlinois 60611

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Playboy Casebook

THE ORDEAL OF LARRY HICKS

even when a death-row prisoner wins a new trial, the question is: how much justice can he afford?

After two years in prison and focing execution, Larry Hicks
leaves court a free man with Pavsoy Senior Editor Bill Helmer.

Two weeks before he was scheduled to die in the
Indiana electric chair, Larry Hicks, age 21, found someone
who would listen to him. That was in May 1979, when
Indianapolis attorney Nile Stanton was visiting another
prisoner at the state prison, heard Hicks's unusual story
and decided lo check it out. A year and а half later,
after an intensive investigation supported by the Playboy
Foundation and a new trial that had all the elements of a
television melodrama, Hicks walked out of prison a free
man, acquitted of the double murder for which he was
nearly executed. pLyynoy reported the case last August
(“The Man Who ‘Didn't Do If ”) to illustrate the alarm-
ing case with which a person who has no money, family or
knowledge of the legal system can be wrongly sentenced
to death.

When police found two male bodies in the snow-filled
alley of the Gary, Indiana, ghetto on a Sunday morning
п February 1978, it didn't look like a case for Sherlock
Holmes. A trail of blood led to the back door of a shabby
apartment in which officers found an intoxicated man
splattered with blood and two women who had been trying
to clean bloodstains from the floors, walls and curta:
Under questioning, the three first denied all knowledge of
the killings, then blamed them on an acquaintance, Larry
Hicks. Finally, the bloodstained man, Bernard Scates, ad-
mitted helping stab the victims after a night of drinking
nd quarreling. But Hicks remained implicated and was
arrested that afternoon at h artment а few blocks
away. He readily acknowledged having been at the murder
scene earlier the previous evening with the two victims,
helping move some heavy appliances, but he denied any
knowledge of the killings. Four days later, Scates died in
his cell, declared a suicide, after telling other inmates that
Hicks was not involved.

Six months later, Hicks was tried, convicted on the
testimony of Scates's wife and sentenced to die, all in a
day and a half. His court-appointed attorney did not chal-
lenge the conflicting stories of the two women, called no
witnesses to confi Hickss claim that he'd gone home
hours before the killings and had not filed for a routine
stay of execution until reminded by a call from the county
who himself had been called by a concerned

Newspoper headlines tell the story of Indienopolis ottorney
Nile Stonton's efforts to moke the criminol-justice system work.

prison warden after Stanton was on the case.

At his own expense, Stanton arranged for two poly-
graph tests that confirmed Ніс version of the events:
that he had reluctantly helped Scates and his wife and a
friend of hers move appliances from the duplex next door
to a new address on Saturday evening but had gone home
around midnight, put off by all the drunken arguing over
money and girlfriends. (Medical evidence placed the time
of the killings at close to daybreak Sunday morning.) Next,
Stanton called Burt Joseph of the Playboy Foundation.
After Senior Editor Bill Helmer and investigator Russ
Million of the Playboy Defense Team interviewed Hicks
at length in prison, the Foundation agreed to assist in the
case and the com pn was reversed on what amounted
to a legal technicality, with a new trial granted at the di:
cretion of the Lake County prosecutor, Jack Grawtord
pare Hicks's defense, Stanton secured the services
of Martin Rell, an. Episcop “work
unusual work is that of a licensed pr
the prestigious Wittlinger A;

priest” whose
nvestigator for
napolis. Bell

weeks in Gary with his partner Carol Tewks-

g down leads and witnesses. As the trial date
neared, they were joined by paralegal aide Kiki Breunig
and law clerk Lesa Lux of St and by PLAYBOY
Editorial Assistant Mar ‘cod. Bell discov-
1 the following:

* That the knife in evidence was not the murder
weapon;
* That ез was almost certainly not a suicide but

apparently had been murdered in his cell

+ That the police had found no physical evidence con
necting Hicks with the crime and, in fact, had somehow
lost most of the evidence collected at the crime scene;

+ That the police had not only failed to check out
Hicks's story but, along with the prosecution, had ignored
the perso efforts of the chief homicide detective to
reopen what he described in a report as a completely
bungled investigation;

+ That other persons had been at the apartment the
night of the murders but had not been questioncd by the
police;

* That witnesses to the removal of the bodies probably

existed but were concealing their knowledge because of
death threats, presumably from those involved in the
killings;

* That one of the victims had not been killed where
Scates's wife claimed, nor had he been stabbed in the back,
as the prosecution claimed;

+ That Hicks neither drank nor smoked, had no crim
inal record, had a good employment record, had made a
conscientious effort to finish high school, had consistently
supported his children born to a girlfriend; and that the
only plausible and consistent account of the evening's
events was that told from the start by Hicks, whose story
was independently verifiable in many small ways and was
contradicted only by Scates's wife and her friend, who also
contradicted each other on numerous major points.

Armed with that information, Stanton and his associate
Kevin McShane appealed to the Lake County prosecutor
to drop the charges against Hicks and reopen the case.
When that was rejected—presumably because dropping
charges against a deathrow prisoner could be politically
awkward—Playboy, through Stanton, suggested that the
case be returned to a county grand jury that would hear
the new evidence and possibly free Hicks, with no embar-
rassment to anyone. That, too, was rejected.
was honestly surprised at the insistence on a retrial,”
Stanton says. “I know they must have had serious doubts
about Larry's guilt. They knew their witnesses were totally
unreliable and probably lying to save their own skins. But
they also knew how impressive supposed eyewitnesses can
be. I hate to think anyone would knowingly try to fry an
innocent man, but I'm afraid that these things tend to
become a contest, Us vs. Them, and it's easy to forget that

the objectives of the system are truth and justice. I do my
best for a client cven if he's a son of a bitch. They do their
damnedest to get a conviction. They weren't after Larry.
They were after me and Kevin and you guys from
Chicago. . . . And don't forget, it is a little embarrassing
to put a man on death row and then later admit, "Well,

gcc, 1 guess we made a little mistake, no hard feelings,

OK? That's just not the way the system works."
Hickss second trial lasted nearly two weeks and was

enough to convince any layman that when the system

works, it does so because a jury is sometimes able to pull

small grains of truth out of the dense thicket of legali:
procedure that often permits facts and honest recollections
to be revealed only obliquely, by means of tortuously
worded questions that cannot be honestly answered with a
simple yes or no.

Just as the defense would do in behalf of the accused,
the prosecution used every available legal tactic to deny
the jury information favorable to Hicks. It invoked an
established rule of law to suppress the [act that Hicks had
passed two polygraph tests administered by the state's ac-
knowledged expert in the field, John О, Danberry, and
confirmed by a nationally recognized polygrapher, Leon-
ard Harrelson of the Keeler Institute in Chicago.

‘The prosecution also:

* Excluded medical records indicating that onc of the
woman witnesses against Hicks was a former mental pa-
nt and highly unreliable;

+ Excluded psychiatric testimony that Hicks had been
found to display no violent or psychopathic tendencies;
Excluded the report of the chief homicide detective,
who had since died, indicating that his own subordinates
had not properly investigated the case and that the pros-
ccution witnesses were probably not telling the truth;

* Concluded the final and dosing argument with state-
ments to the jury that were patently false or, at best, in

dispute, at which point the defense could no longer offer
rebuttal.

The defense was able to establish, іп crossexamining
police officers earlier, that the prosecution had passed on
to the police none of the documents or reports it had that
might have supplied them with new leads in the case, exon-

erating Hicks and leading to charges against other persons
(either prosecution witnesses or others who were the
apartment at the time of the killings).

The jury deliberated six hours and returned a verdict
that Hicks was not guilty, but his acquittal was hardly a
tribute to the criminal-justice system. The jury could not
convict Hicks primarily because the prosecution's witnesses
were so obviously confused or lying or both, and because
the defense had done so much of the policework, short of
naming the man now strongly suspected of the stabbings—
who remains free, unquestioned by the police and pre-
sumably a continuing threat to any witnesses against
The trial ended in considerable chaos when the verdict
came in at midnight. Along with cheers and tears and
congratulations were shouted threats of retaliation from
relatives of the murder victims, the mother of one of them
collapsing. Bailiffs tried to maintain order and take Hicks
back to the lockup, over loud objections from attorneys
Stanton and McShane, while a detective in the courtroom
kept his hand near his revolver. As the confusion sorted
itself out, bailiff Murray DeLong took Helmer aside and
gave him the papers to obtain the release of Hicks, away
from the shouting in the courtroom,

The deputy prosecutor who tried the case, Marilyn
Hrnjak had no comment for the press, represented by
PLAYBOY and newspapers from Chicago and Indiana, but
an agitated Stanton told her outside the judge's chamber,
“This case should never have gone to trial." The unsmil-
ing reply was, “I agree.”

The cost of this case to the taxpayers of Indiana's Lake
County won't be calculated; the prosecutor's office was
doing its perceived duty, and has publicly stated only that
it believes the original guilty verdict was correct, evidence
and defense witnesses notwithstanding. Had Hicks not
obtained the support of Playboy and the services of one of
Indiana's top legal firms and private detectives, his defense
costs would have ranged between $50,000 and $75,000. The
way attorney McShane put it later, “Larry was one lucky
slum kid, and it just makes you wonder how many unlucky
ones will be going to the chair, or be locked up for 20
years. And Larry was clean. I mean, he didn’t do anything
to deserve what happened to him, especially his years on
death row, and that's scary.”

licks at the Indiana State Prison, where he was housed
I found him innocent.

Larry
on death row until a second jury

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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

a candid conversation with the renowned expert on death and dying whose beliefs
in afterlife and spirits led her to an unlikely guru and the taint of scandal

As Masters and Johnson have changed
the world—shaking up our mythology
about human sexuality, launching sex
into the modern age—so hos Elisabeth
Kübler-Ross altered the consciousness of
the world in her area of work: death and
dying. Before this Swiss-born physician
and psychiatrist began lecturing all over
the globe, working with thousands of
terminally ill patients and writing (her
1969 book, “On Death and Dying,” is the
classic study in this field), the topic of
death was, in our Western culture, the
ultimate taboo. Doctors, nurses and med-
ical personnel, well trained in the science
of life but lacking in the capacity to deal
with death, frequently could not tell
patients the truth, could not listen to
them, ignored their emotional needs and
truly abandoned them. Families, too,
were ill-equipped to handle a loved one’s
impending death. So terminal patients
were left to face the last, most profound
act of their lives in a nightmare of lone-
liness and pretense.

Kübler-Ross has transformed all that;
she has revolutionized the care of the
dying, to allow us to perceive death and
the process of dying from a more enlight-
ened and humane point of view. For the

past 12 years, she has traveled more than
250,000 miles a year, lecturing to health
professionals and laymen, visiting dying
patients, spreading her credo that “dying
can be one of the most beautiful, in-
credible experiences of life if it is shared
with loved ones,” conducting five-day
workshops called Life, Death and Transi-
tion for the terminally ill and their
families. People who have heard Kiibler-
Ross speak are generally moved to weep;
thousands consider her a saint.

The medical establishment is not so
sure. Although she is applauded for her
pioneering work—including her identi-
fication of the five stages of facing
death—her recent journey into mysti-
cism has raised eyebrows among her con-
servative peers. Through her work with
people who had been resuscitated from
clinical death—primarily accident and
heart-attack victims whose vital signs had
ceased temporarily—she discovered a
similarity of near-death experience that
proved to her the existence of a happy
afterlife. With this work, she began to
head down a spiritual path, away from
her strict scientific orientation. In the
past few years, her lectures have de-
scribed her own out-of-body experiences

"I'm still an uptight, logical, square
Swiss doctor, a hillbilly, and until a few
years ago, I didn't believe in ghosts. But
Tve had some experiences, personally,
that have just blown my mind.”

"It would be the greatest tragedy to do
away with cancer. Visualize what it
would be like: Every house would be full
of paralyzed, incontinent old people.
All illness fulfills a function.”

and her relationships with spirit guides
who materialize before her and do such
things as sing “You Are My Sunshine”
into her tape recorder. Although last
year Kübler-Ross was named one of the
11 Women of the Decade for the Sev-
enties by readers of the Ladies Home
Journal, she is considered a highly con-
troversial figure.

Born in a small town in Switzerland
54 years ago, she was one of a set of
triplets, in what she terms a “straight and
square” upper-middle-class family. Her
father was authoritarian and wanted
Elisabeth to go into the family business.
But she was always a rebel. So, at the age
of 18, as World War Two was ending,
she took off for war-torn Poland with a
rucksack and two dollars. She slept on
the ground, learned primitive emergency
medicine, delivered babies, worked as a
cook, a mason and a roofer while setting
up typhoid and first-aid clinics for the
thousands of homeless streaming through
Europe. In those years, she. discovered
the mission to help devastated people
that would propel her for the rest of
her life.

She returned to Switzerland for her
formal medical training and spent every

e
N aae

PHOTOGRAPHY BY LARRY L. LOGAN

“In the headlines, I have lost my mar-
bles, I've had venereal disease, I don't
respond to pleas of dying patients and
my workshops are sex orgies. They say
that about my beloved workshops!"

PLAYBOY

summer doing relief work throughout
central Europe. She married Emanuel
Ross, a young neuropathologist, and те-
luctantly came to America, where they
did their internships and residencies and
began raising a family. Her real desire
was to be a “country doctor” and live in
Africa or India, but circumstances
pushed her into psychiatry and work
with chronic schizophrenic patients at
state hospitals. “It was an incredible
challenge,” she says, and her thrust was
to motivate them to have pride, dignity
and responsibility. Later, she did the
same thing in Chicago, taking time from
her schedule at the University of Chi-
cago Medical School to work with blind
and retarded children.

Because of this tiny, determined wom-
an, America is finally beginning to view
death as the mass of the world always
has—an inevitable piece of the process
of life itself. There are now 125,000
courses in death and dying taught in
medical and nursing schools; and the
hospice movement—where the ill can
live out their final days in a loving non-
hospital environment—has flourished.

But in the fall of 1979, a scandal in-
volving Kiibler-Ross swept through the
national press. She was living in the
mountains of Escondido, California, out-
side San Diego, separated from her hus-
band and children and closely connected
with a couple named Jay and Martha
“Marti” Barham, “healers” and “spir-
itualists.” In private sessions held at
the Barhams’ ranch, a cult of followers
gathered regularly to materialize spirit
guides into human form. Barham was
ostensibly the “channel,” or medium,
used. When group members began smell-
ing transcendental rats, they defected in
large numbers, speaking of odd sexual
activities involving the “spirits” and the
guests. The San Diego district attorney's
office entered the scene to investigate
the story of a ten-year-old child sexually
abused by a spirit entity who may or
may nol have been Barham in disguise.
The press followed quickly and what
ordinarily would have been just another
California booga-booga tale became—
because of the revered Kiibler-Ross’s
involvement—national headlines. Al-
though most investigators have viewed
her as a naive victim, Kübler-Ross's
reputation and credibility have been
gravely undermined.

To explore this fascinating woman's
werk, the scandal and her extraordinary
life, PLAYBOY sent journalist Marcia Selig-
son to her home in Escondido. Seligson
reports:

“About six months before the assign-
ment, a friend had taken me to hear
Elisabeth lecture at a church in Los
Angeles, The room was packed, and
within five minules, this diminutive,
tired-looking woman, with a heavy Ger-
manic accent and a first appearance of

extreme toughness, had transfixed the
audience. What shone through her and
hypnotized more than 500 people was
her compassion, her deep vulnerability
and her love of human beings. There was
not a dry eye in the house, and my
friend and I agreed that Elisabeth was
the most powerful speaker we had ever
heard.

“I made several trips to her home—a
comfortable, sprawling, funky house in
the woods. She was quite guarded at first,
especially since the press had been lac-
erating her, but always warm and moth-
erly—plying me with homemade cookies,
knitting while we spoke, speaking ten-
derly about her garden and her love of
domesticity, her passion for hiking in the
mountains. But it quickly became clear
that the real thrust of her life has always
been her work. She is a woman who has
never allowed herself the luxury of be-
ing carefree.

“On one of my visits, she had just
returned from a week in the Alaskan wil-
derness, lecturing to a group of Eskimo
women and ministering to the dying.
(Wherever she speaks, she takes time to

“Whether or not my
discoveries are acceptable
or whether society adores

me or hates me or labels
me psychotic is irrelevant.”

See patients and has never charged them
for it.) A few weeks later, I caught her
right after a trip to a priory in Vermont,
where she had spoken to the monks. Her
travels and her service to others truly
elate her. On the other hand, she seems
terribly alone and fatigued, grieving
over the loss of her 20-year marriage and
the lack of any network of support and
love.

“It was inevitable for me to play silent
psychoanalyst, to interpret her connec-
tion to the Barhams and the spirit-guide
clan as a lonely woman's desperate need
for caring and contact. After several days
together, we visited the Barhams and my
suspicions were confirmed. I know that
gurus come in a variety of shapes and
sizes, but I became distinctly uneasy in
the presence of this homely, inarticulate
ex-sharecropper and aircraft worker
whom Elisabeth had assured me was ‘the
greatest healer the world has ever
known’ I was perplexed by her emo-
tional and financial involvement with
the Barhams, and the increasing sur-
render of her life to them. I found my-
self, during the parts of the interview in
which we talked about the scandal, want-
ing to grab her shoulders and shake loose

her blindness. But I settled for being
a tough-minded reporter, hoping she
would see some light. She did not. I
found the experience of being with
Elisabeth emotionally stirring, indeed,
and more than a little disturbing.”

PLAYBOY: Let's just dive into the thorn-
iest thicket. For more than a decade,
you have been celebrated as a physician
and scientist, a woman who won
the respect of the scientific community
through her pioneering work with ter-
minally ill patients. Then, nearly two
years ago, your name made surprising
headlines because of your involvement
with a so-called guru and his followers,
who daimed to be able to make spirits
materialize. Since you were the one to
apply rational analysis to the stages of
death, many of your scientific peers were
shocked that you appeared to have taken
up with fringe believers in life after
death, The scandal that erupted also
charged bizarre sexual practices and
fakery. What can you say in general
about this?

KUBLER-ROSS: Obviously, this is a long
and complicated story, and I can't an-
swer it simply. But I want to say, first,
that I am a scientist. And, to me, a
genuine scientist is a curious person
who investigates and uses whatever means
are available to find answers to increase
our knowledge and our understanding
of what the world is like, of what human
beings are all about. I have always been
skeptical, a superskeptic. It's part of my
nature to check out every experience I
have, over and over. I always experiment
on myself first, and I never publish
anything I haven't experienced myself.
You understand, I'm still an uptight,
logical, square Swiss doctor, a hillbilly,
and until a few years ago, I didn't even
know words like higher consciousness
and I didn't believe in ghosts or polter-
geists. All that stuff wasn't for me. I
never meditated, I never had a guru or
went to India. But I've had some ex-
periences, personally, that have just
blown my mind. And I need to keep
researching and studying. I do this for
my own need; I need to know answers.
PLAYBOY: But as the person who revolu-
tionized the Western world's attitudes
toward treatment of the dying, you may
have shattered your credibility as a scien
tist and thus destroyed your life's work.
How do you fecl about that?
KUBLER-ROSS: I totally don't care. I am
not interested in pleasing anybody or in
accommodating anybody or in being
loved or in being found credible. I lit-
crally don't care about that. I would do
this research if nobody in the whole
world were to know about it, or accept
it. Whether or not my discoveries are
acceptable or whether society adores me
or hates me or labels me psychotic is
irrelevant. 1 am not doing research to be

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or woman of the century.
PLAYBOY: Truly, you don't care about
any of that? About becoming a joke?
KUBLER-ROSS: No. Absolutely not, and 1
have never cared. The world scorned ny
work with dying patients in the begin-
ng, and then my research into near-
death experiences—what happens to
people who have supposedly died for a
little while and then are revived. So 1
expect my research into the world of
spirit guides will be scorned also. To me,
it's a huge reward if normal people begin
10 open up to суеп consider what I'm
saying. But when that doesn't happen,
I continue on just the same. То me, a
decent scientist shares whatever answers
he finds and is willing to share how he
came to his conclusi I would be
totally unbelievable, and the cheapest
form of prostitute, if 1 would publish
only what pleases the public. And I
should never try to convert or convince
somebody. My job is merely to share.
"Those who are ready will believe and
those who are not will come up with
incredible intellectualizations and ration-
alizations.
PLAYBOY: You've been torn apart espe-
cially by the press for these adventures
with the spirit world, haven't you?
KUBLER-ROSS: My God, yes. When I start-
ed this work, mind you, I was fully
aware that I was going to be cut to
The newspapers have printed everything
imaginable about me. But so what? You
know what welcomed me when I went
home to Switzerland for Christmas last
year? Headlines asking what happened
to "our formerly famous Swiss psychia-
trist we were all so proud of, who has
now ended up in the gutter. . . .” In
the headlines, I have had cancer, I have
lost my marbles, Гуе һай venereal dis
ease. They say I don't answer my ma
or telephone calls anymore, that І don't
spond to the pleas of desperate dying
patients and my workshops are sex orgies.
They say that about my beloved work-
shops, where we work our rear ends off
from eight in the morning till onc A.M.,
for five days and five nights in a row.
You understand how reality can get
torted? But it doesn't really mauer, be-
cause I will continue my work as long
as people sign up for the workshops.
All this controversy is only a reflection
of the fact that we have to continue
our work because it’s very threatening
to a lot of people.
PLAYBOY: We'll talk about your research
in detail later on. First, will you explain
briefly what spirit guides are?
KUBLER-ROSS: The first thing you have to
understand is that spirit guides are not
new, 1 didn’t discover them. As you
know, the Bible talks about guardian
angels. Children always talk to and about
their imaginary “playmates” and then
get reprimanded by their parents and

teachers and told that they are too old
for this childish stuff. Those are nothing
but spirit guides—people who have once
lived in our physical world and then
have died. Then they decide to help a
person during his physical existence. So
one or more of them may assign himself
to you, for example, from the time you
take your first breath until you die—or,
I prefer to say, make the transition,
which is what death is, making the transi-
tion to another realm. The guide's sole
purpose is to love you, to direct you, to
make sure that everything is done to get
you to achieve your objectives in your
lifetime. Spirit guides really exist; they
are never more than two fect away from
you, day and night. Usually, they come
to you sometime just before falling asleep
or when you are about to wake up. When
all your defenses are down, you're more
available to them. If you live 100 years,
they are always with you. I've been
blessed to have a very direct communica-
tion with my guides over the past few
years.

PLAYBOY: You realize, of course, that that
sounds mighty peculiar.

“T would be totally
unbelievable, and the
cheapest form of prostitute,
if I would publish only
what pleases the public.”

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, of course ] do; but
you see, in our society, people are no
longer in touch with their own spiri
ity. They laugh at you when you say you
have your own spirit guide inside you.
They wouldn't know what you are talk-
ing about, naturally. But talk to some
old people in the bushes. Aboriginal
people know about their guides. All their
tings and drawings are full of their
E t guides, and they communicate with
them. American Indians in their tepees,
when they chanted together and the med-
icine man was in the middle under a
blanket, what do you think they did?
They materialized their guides, who
touched them and healed them, All the
things I have learned have existed for
thousands of years in all cultures. But
then, we say, “Well, those were primitive
people.”

PLAYBOY: Why does it seem so foreign
to us?

KUBLER-ROSS: It seems alien to us only
since the beginning of this century, as
a result of urbanization, of a very mobile
kind of life. You live in a city one year,
then you move to the next. You have no
roots, no religion, no rituals or spiritual-

ity. If you still visit people who have
not been contaminated by all the greed.
materialism, televisions, cars, moving
from place to place—all these people
still know what Lam talking about.
PLAYBOY: Is the guide's only function to
watch over you?

KUBLER-ROSS: There is apparently а vast
army of thousands of guides whose pur-
pose is to help us human beings on the
planet who are in great danger of self-
destruction from nuclear weapons. "They
are here to help us change the tide, to
work against the negativity that now
threatens our survival. Then there are
the personal guides, who are there for
each one of us open to them, to direct
us to become more positive. For every
person who becomes more positive, the
chances of the planet's self-destruction
are minimized. Right now, there are
hundreds of groups of people all over
the world, people who are in a spiritual
search to see if we cannot change this
greedy, destructive, war-oriented civ
zation. They are in contact with their
spirit guides and can, under certain cir-
cumstances, have the guides materialize.
I'm very lucky that I am able to be in
touch with them, to see and talk to them,
to taperecord them. And, on occasion,
they have come їп physical form.
PLAYBOY: Do you really think we'll ac-
cept what you're saying at face value?
KUBLER-ROSS: My question to you is, Why
do you need to accept this? Why is it im-
portant? It is my experience, not yours,
my life and choice, not yours. Whatever
I have learned, I am trying to share with
those who want to hear it And
n tell people is, if you are open
if you get rid of your own negat
all this information is available to you
when the time right. That is all 1
want to communicate. Those who are
ready will hear it and those who arc
not will not.

PLAYBOY: You've mentioned “negativity
several times. How do you define nega-
ity?

ti
KUBLER-ROSS: Anything that dr:
energy and prevents you from living

s your

peace, love and harmony. Anything
that makes you sick physically or emo-
tionally, or makes you hateful or greedy.
You see, the degree of negativity that is
triggered in the press and in other people
by our work is in direct proportion to
the negativity in human beings in the
whole world. All my work, my whole
purpose is to make people aware of
е parts of themselves and
how they distort their lives and their re-
lationships with it. The whole planet
Earth, the whole family of mankind is
destroying itself because of negativity
PLAYBOY: So your purpose in life i:
longer to work with dying patients.

KUBLER-ROSS: No. That is just a step. І
was taught by my own guides that I
had an illusion that death and dying

was my work, my contribution to the
society in which 1 have lived for more
than 20 years. I truly believed that if
I worked hard enough. | would deserve
to retire and go back to pottery and
weaving, writing, gardening and mown-
tain climbing. And the gu
laughed in my face. They said my d
nd-dying work was only a test то see
if I could take negativity and hostility.
My work has just begun.

PLAYBOY: When did they tell you that?
KUBLER-ROSS: About five years ago, So
my sole purpose is to fight the nega-
tivity, to help people become aware of

what they do to themselves, their fellow
man and the planet because of fear and
guilt

PLAYBOY: What has actually happened
to your lile since all the publicity about
your dealings with spirit guides?

KUBLER-ROSS: Oh, God, it's incredible. My
husband of 20 years walked out on me.
1 simply couldn't believe it. I never
dreamed in my wildest dreams I would
ever be divorced: nobody in my family
ever has. I grew up in a world where
when you made a commitment, you
made it for good or for bad. And when
he walked out on me, Е thought it was
temporary. But he never came back. And
ends 1 really counted on have
off, one after the other, The ones

Т loved the most, all of them, Not be
but

cause of the work th;
because of what was in the magi:
and newspapers. I lost my beau
dream house and my garden. I can't
that I'm attached to those t
still have a lot of grief about it. Then
my relatives wrote 10 my sister, about
the disgrace 1 had brought to the family.
T think they should be very proud of me.

PLAYBOY: How about your workshops
and lectures? Was there any detrimental
«Тест on them?

KUBLER-ROSS: It has hurt a lot. For six
months after the stories broke. we had
cancellations of around $30.090 and had.
to refund the money to people who
had already registered and then backed
out because of the publicity. A lot of my
lecture dates were canceled, one week
before, but I have so many requests—
dating back two v

e doing

oups that have faith and trust
in who 1 am. But my income dropped

i ind suddenly 1 went from
All this at the same
ty of any kind left

fame
time, I had no sec
n my life.
PLAYBOY: "hat's an enormous price to
pay for doing your spiritual "rescarch,"
don't you think?

KUBLER-ROSS: Of course. The loneliness
has been the worst part, Th: 7
gest problem. Not a single shoulder to
lcan on, nor a hand to hold. I literally
hang in there only because 1 know this
is just part of the process and the work

has to be done no matter how much
pain it . no matter what people
say about me. I belicve absolutely ih
I will have to make great sacrifices to
bring what Гуе learned to the world. So
І just continue on, 1 see the fruits of my
work, amd Fm very pleased and proud.
of our workshops. And the rest—I'm iry-
ing hard to take all the bs. and turn
it into fertilizer. But it reaches a propor
tion where I be 10 wonder why it has
to be so difficult always.

PLAYBOY: We'll return to the topic of
spirit guides and the scandal, but let's
go back ло the beginning. It should be
mtcresting 10 follow your track from
conservative Swiss psychiatrist to where
you are now, in what
highly spiritual, mystical s
Tt was in the mid-Sixties that you began.
your work with death and dying. How
did you get into that field of study?
KUBLER-ROSS: I was living in Denver with
my family. 1 had everything: a nice
home, two gorgeous children, a loving
husband, a good job. But 1 was bored
and unhappy. I had already come to
some conclusions about my work with.
terminally ill patients in Denver and I
was asked to give my first lecture in psy-
try for the medical students.
when 1 gave the lecture оп death and
dying that became famous and changed
my whole life.

PLAYBOY: Why that subject?

KUBLER-ROSS: ] was very nervous about
what to talk to them about, especially
se these students always sat in class
p CocrCola and chewing gum,
with their feet up on chairs, being bored
by everything. Then I thought to my-
self, If these kids are going into опһо-
pedic surgery or obstetrics, they could
care less about the origins of psychosis
and all that stuff. So I was thinking my
brains out to see what I could talk about
that didn't even smell of psychiatry. The
only thing | could come up with was
death and dying. because I thought that
nxieties, d
that has to do with
I thought it was a
dea. My problem came when
I looked for material. 1 couldn't find a
ingle book. So I looked into anthro-
pology and came up with the strange
rituals people have surrounding death.
Why we wear black veils, where grav
stones cime from, where burial rules
came from. I thought it would be reall
intriguing to put this together and I put
all my loye and efforts into this one
lecture. After two minutes, the room
was dead silence, I had all their atten-
tion, Then I put out my theory that
most people who are terminally ill know
about their dying whether they have be
told or not. And they need to commu
cate; they are willing to share if you
re not afraid of them. Then you c
actually learn how people cope wi

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PLAYBOY

dying and their death. You must remem-
ber that, at that time, patients and doc-
tors never talked about this subject. It
was taboo. So then Е brought into the
lecture hall this gorgeous 16-year-old
girl who was dying of leukemia.

PLAYBOY: How did they react?
KUBLER-ROSS: You could hear a pin drop.
Nobody moved, and I asked for volun-
teers to interview her on the stage. They
were so scared, not one student budged.
so I picked six students. but none of
them could open their mouths to ask
any questions. So I started the interview.
It was incredibly beautiful. She did not
have any pretenses and was усту com-
fortable talking to them. When they
finally started questioning her. теу
switched to irrelevant stuff, like how high
her fever ran and what her symptoms
were. She just put them straight and
said, "Yes, T know that physi
those kinds of questions, but I am tryi
to convey something else to vou.
was so happy and eager to stop playing
games, but they were distant and de-
fensive.

PLAYBOY: Those medical students were
acting in the traditional way that physi-
cians often dealt with terminal patients,
weren't they?

KUBLER-ROSS: Oli, yes, the callousness of
it. the playing games, the downright ly-
ing. I have seen a specialist tell his pa
tient she was free of cancer when she
was full of cancer and had to for a
psychiatric consultation because she
thought she was imagining pain. That
kind of stuff really bothers me. The
physician's own fears and anxieties pre-
vent him from listening to a dying
paient or communicating with him.
Medical training makes him that w
We train them to be detached. not to
get personally involved, so they will know.
everything about your liver and nothing
about you as a person. This is much more
country, where we train doctors
to feel like powerful gods, than it is in
nhuman.

What happened du

the

lecture?
KUBLER-ROSS: The child finally exploded
at all the people who had been lying

to her—including her mother, She was
just thrilled that she had a chance to do
that. She talked about how it was to be
alone when her girltriends stopped vis-
ng her and nothing in her life was
like it used to be. The students were
completely moved. They had never talked
or listened like that with a dying patient.
This lecture became so famous that
copies were sent all over. Later, when my
husband and 1 moved to Chicago, 1 got a
job teaching psychiatry at the university,
but on the side, my real love was to go
d visit dying patients. I would teach
the nurses, medical students and the
social workers how to listen to them, to

draw closer instead of back away, to tell
the truth and to have a real relationship
with the dying.

PLAYBOY: Was your goal to heal or save
those patients?

KUBLER-ROSS: Oh, no. Му goal was simply
to have them live fully until they died,
and not just lie there and vegetate, рге
tending, not being able to share any-
thing. And being doped up until they
would finally dic. I mean, that is just not
how one should end
PLAYBOY: Did you find the work de-
pressing?

KUBLER-ROSS: Never! Every patient re-
charged my battery. Well, almost every-
body. I mean, there were some grouches
and sourpusses who wouldn't. But usual-
ly, after a visit or two, we would be in
an animated sharing of some of th
person's life, And I always found what
an incredible lile cach individual had. f
became really intrigued by this man or
woman, and I felt like I had really
achieved something.

PLAYBOY: How would you feel when you
lost them?

KUBLER-ROSS: When they died? It was
never a terrible loss over any long period.

“I thought that heaven and
guardian angels were nice
stories for children to
shut them up.”

of time. It was like, for everyone who
died, there were ten waiting to be taken
care of. I felt 1 had no claims to them
or any attachment. I was very involved
with them while we had the communi-
cation going, but no expectations. 1
mean, you couldn't work with 1000 dying
patients and have expectations.

PLAYBOY: At that stage, what were your
feelings about afterlife? Did you believe
death was the end?

KUBLER-ROSS: | thought that heaven and
guardian angels were nice stories for chil-
dren to shut them up. Nobody had ever
proved anything and | think I left the
subject very wide open. My sole under-
standing was that since there was nothing
I could do about whether there was life
after death or not, the only th
could do was to make this life more com-
fortable and positive. What happens after
was somebody else's specialty. Ш you had
asked me at that time if there was a God,
most likely I would have id, Well, there
must be something, but it always had to
do with nature. You can’t look at a baby
or a sunset or a mil ion snowflakes when
no two are alike without knowing that
there is somebody who decides such in-
genious things.

PLAYBOY: At that time, did you view
death as a tragedy?

KUBLER-ROSS: No, never. The only thing
I viewed as a tragedy was that we spend
our lives like sourpusses and never sce
the beauty of it, and the miracle of
Even when a child died, which is sup
posed to be the greatest catastrophe,
saw tragedy only in how he died. not
that he died. 1 felt the parents had а
loan of the child for, say, six years. the
glory of haying a child for that period.
How many couples don’t have a child
of their own, who would give anything
in the world to have one! I felt that at
least they were given that gift for si
years.

PLAYBOY: You sccm to have a powerful
connection to children. Your face lights
up when you talk about them—eyen
about their de:
KUBLER-ROS: that’s true. Children
are the only living creatures, besides psy:
chotics and dying patients, who are to-
ly honest and are the way God created
them. If you are full of baloney. they
know that instantly and just turn away
from you. They live on an intuitive
level. And dying patients have that kind
of openness and honesty, because they
know they have just a short time left
and are not willing to fill their last days
with non and irrelevancies. Thats
not true for everyone who is d: but
it's always true of the ones we work with.
PLAYBOY: The work that made you fa-
mous and lor which you are still the
most acclaimed was your identification
and description of the five stages of dy-
ing. Let's explore those. How did you
arrive at them?

KUBLER-ROSS: You have to understand 1
did not learn this from dying patients
I learned it from all my years of working
with blind people and multiple-handi
capped, retarded patients, first in Swit-
zerland and then here. So later, when 1
was working extensively in Chicago
with term cases, I first wrote an
article for a seminary magazine on my
observations. Then, about a year late
the Macmillan publishing house asked
me to write a book about my work. This
was to be On Death and Dying. 1 wrote
it between midnight and three A-M., and
it was simple, like talking to my st
dents. What E put together I had learned
from all my patients—such as a blind
retarded child and her family's reaction
to her. Then, afterward, I discovered
that dying patients go through the same
stages. And any natural, normal human
being, when faced with any kind of loss,
will go from shock all the way through
acceptance. You could the same
about divorce, losing a job, a maid, a
parakeet. Some people go through it if
they only lose their contact lens And
even though I called it the stages of

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PLAYBOY

dying, it is really a natural adjustment
to loss.

PLAYBOY: Describe the stages, one at a
time. What is the first?
KUBLER-ROSS: Say you have just
by the doctor that your abdominal pains
are not appendicitis, or something harm-
less. as you had assumed, but cancer.
Your first reaction usually is shock.
Why me? I'm only 36 years old, 1 have
three children in preschool, why me and
why now? With the shock is a tremen-
dous numbness, like its а nightm
that you can't think about. You w
home in a daze: you want to push
under the rug. This is the stage of de-
nial. You won't tell the family, maybe
the doctor made a mistake, you'll go to
another and be retested. maybe you
have to go to the Mayo Clinic. It's all
ап attempt to deny die reality of this
criminal verdict. Denial is used not only
during the first stages of illness or after
the confrontation with the truth but
throughout the illness from time to time,
Someone said, “W ппог look at the
sun all the time; we cannot lace death
all the time."
PLAYBOY: Is de:
KUBLER-ROSS:

told

ial healthy?

Absolutely. Some patients
ave to live for a long time with the
wledge that they're dy
mes they have to deny in order to go
on with their daily lives. Tt allows them
to mobilize their defenses. Later on,
they will not want to deny anymore:
they will want to admit the truth and.

and some-

talk about it and have people listen, P

tients rarely deny their condition to the
end; 1 € seen that only a very few
times. The shock and denial can't last

forever. because some rea
keeps them from burying their h
the sand. Either they can’t hold a job
anymore. or lose weight, or start hem-

orhaging. Then they have to re-evalu-
ate their finan ation to make
provisions for the ly. Very realis-
lic issues prevent most people from
maintaining de:

"The next stage of anger: "I had

thorough. physical six montlis ago and
the cancer must have been there: and if

the doctor had done a more thorough
examination, he would haye discovered
it before it was te The tendency
in our society people
for our miseries, so the patient blames
the doctor or the wile for not paying
attention to his complaints earlier, or
he blames God. People get furious at
God. Along with the anger gocs envy
and resentment toward other people who
are healthy. If the person is hospitalized
while in this stage of anger. he is the
most difficult ient, because the diet
isn’t right, the way somebody talks when
he comes in to take blood is not right.
the nurses aren't right. The clergy have
hard time with patients who are angry
at God and call Him a bastard. The
clergy very quickly 17у to shut the pa-

tient up and I always say to them,
"What's the matter with you? Why do
you feel a need to come to God's de-
fense? He сап take it" When you begin
to make the mini: are of what
they're doing, some of them—not many,
mind you—finally begin to rea
damage they
to tell them implicitly that it's all right
to be angry with their wives or doctors
but not with God.

PLAYBOY: What stage follows anger?
KUBLER-ROsS: If they arc allowed to ex-

ternalize the anger. then they go through
a stage of b: ng. Bargaining looks
like peace on the surface, but it's a tem-

porary truce: “I will be a good patient
it you'll give me one more year to
live.” Or, “Just till my children get out
of high school.” Or, “Just until they get
marricd." It's mercly to put a
line on the inevitable. But the beauty
of the bargaining stage is that this is
the ideal time to finish unfinished busi-
ness. Because they're not so angry that
you feel like staying away from them
and they're not so depre t that
everything
PLAYBOY: W|
ness” mean?
KUBLER-ROSS: Anything that is incomplete
in your life and deprives you of a sense
of peace. It is almost always about re-
lationships. During the Vietnam war,
the unfinished business was that the
parent wanted to stay alive long enough.
to see his son come home. Of if it's a
divorced. parent. he won't die until he
has found a place for his children. Bur
sometimes the unfinished business is a
symbolic “Thank you" that he has not
said yer.

PLAYBOY: Is the bargaining stage peace-
ful? Does the patient think he’s going
to get better?

KUBLER-ROSS: In this stage, the patient is
in a transient state of peace, and for
the family and staff, this is the ideal
lime. But you have to know it's not a
genuine peace, it’s just temporary. It's
a postponement. Let me tell you the

story of a young man, 28 years old, who
had acute leukemia, with three small
children. He had two weeks between

the actual onset of his illness and his
death.
PLAYBOY: Did he know he had only two
weeks?
KUBLER-ROSS: Ohi, yes. They always know
it. Its not conscious, but they are very.
ware of it. И you have an accident and
only a short time il death, then you
through all the stages much faster than
yon have multiple sclerosis that lasts
20 years. And that is how I know that
they realize how long they have—they
just do their work faster. If they get
help, they can go through the si i
one night, but on their own in a nega-
tive environment, they can't do it.
Anyway, а nurse asked me to go talk
to Larry, th n, about his ap-

proaching death. Even though I usually
wait for a request from the patient, Í
went in and said, "Larry, would you like
to talk about it?” "It" you understand,
could be the weather or anything. if he
didn't want to talk. I could see he was
He said, “No, my
* I asked
if he wanted me to come back the next
day and he said, “Fine, il you like.”

That left the door open. The next day,
the

ame. He never asked what we would
t so he obviously knew, and
knew that T knew, and we kept it on
discreet level. I tried once morc.
My rule is, you neve Henge anybody
more than three times, More than that,
you are ng your own necds. The
next day, when I saw him, he was sit-
ting up in bed, much more alert than
s stunned. Then he told me
п. which is a
nple of bargaining with God.
"Last night. 1 had a dream
w this big tra ng rapidly

before. I w:
about hi:

He said.
where 1 К
down the hill toward the end and 1 had
a big fight with the traiumaster. And Т

to me. “Do you know what I'm talking
about" And I said. "Y The tra
s speeding down the hill is your
And your argument was with God."
Now, what does that tell you? That he
knows he has only a tiny bit ol time
left and is asking for just a little mor
PLAYBOY: Do people always get the bar-
gain they request?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, generally. At that mo-
ment, Larry's mother walked in and Г
said to him, “How can I help you with
the tenth of an inch?” He said, “Mother,
go home and make my favorite vegetable
nd bake a loaf of bread." She was

soup
afraid to leave and he said. "Don't
worry, ТЇЇ wait for it”

And when she
brought it back. he took a tiny ta

smell of that warm bread and a half
ч p—he could hardly
open his mouth. That was the last food
he had in his mouth. He died a [ew d
Tate:
PLAYBOY: What is the next stage?

KUBLER-ROSS: Depression, in two distinct
parts. The first onc is a reactive depres-
sion, ng of all the little losses
of things—his job. energy, the fact that
he can't cat anymore. All the losses
from being a self-sustaining individual
to becoming dependent. The second
type of depression I call preparatory
grief, He stops mourning all the small
deaths and begins to conceive the final
death, the final loss. He is in the process
of losing everything and everybody he
ever loved. Losing lile. "That is a grief
ond words, because he does not need
wish to communicate that. He with-
draws. And at that time, he knows ab-
y that he is dying. There is no
denial left, tlic
conscious. The grief durin

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PLAYBOY

is very important—it's a tool for pre-
paring him for the ultimate peaceful
acceptance. This is much more a silent
stage than the reactive grief, where he
wants to be cheered up and reassured
to know that his family is being taken
care of, things are being handled. In
this second phase, if I'm working with
him and he looks at a picture of his
grandchild and tears come to his eyes,
I can say, "It must be very sad to real-
ize youll never sce your grandchild
grown up." And he'll say yes. So he'll
cry with you and mourn all those ex-
periences he's going to be deprived of.
So now he faces the reality fully. And
eventually, he doesn't want to sce neigh-
bors or business associates or friends
anymore. At the very end, he wants to
see only one or two people, his children
or his mate. During this time, he is con-
cerning himself with things ahead, rath-
er than behind.

PLAYBOY: The final stage is acceptance,
then?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. You could call this the
stage of positive submission, of accept-
ing what you can't change with a sense
of peace and serenity. If he’s not al-
lowed to grieve or express anger, he'll
ch this stage. In this last stage,
hes neither depressed nor angry, he
will have mourned his losses already,
and generally he will be Ч and weak.
and will sleep a lot. Not a sleep of
avoidance or relief from pain but just
extending his sleep time until the final
sleep. This is not a “happy” stage, but
it is almost without feeling. a void.
The struggle is over. The patient wishes
to be alone or silent much of the
time; communication is mostly non-
verbal. A few patients keep struggling
to the end, denying, and then it be-
comes very difficult for them to die
with peace and dignity. Sometimes fam-
ilies, for their own needs, encourage
their loved one to fight to the end and
not to su; render, as if it were cowardly
or a rejection of the family.

PLAYBOY: Do those stages always follow
in the same order?

KUBLER-ROSS: No. Many people skip stages
entirely. Many have been conditioned
never to get angry and they suppress
it. Nuns and priests have a terribly
hard time getting angry. So they often
stay stuck in grief, but it’s an impotent
ind of grief, because what they really
need to do is scream and curse. But
they've been so conditioned as good
Christians that the preconscious wish
to scream causes them guilt. So their
guilt and grief dominate them. The
biggest help you can give these people
is to get them into a 5 ing room—
which all hospitals should have, not
only for the patients but for the stall
and say, "Listen, my friend, you were
a human being before you were a nun
and anger is a God-given gift. Scream
and curse and then I promise you'll

feel better.” And, boy, when they hit
they can take a whole house apart.
PLAYBOY: Docs cach stage signify а deep-
ening of the experience?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. Dying is a growth ex-
perience. The last big growth expe:
ence the human being has in this life-
time. But you understand, you'll see
many patients who never go through
the stages, because they haven't had
any help and are being lied to by the
doctors and ignored by their ics,
who can't listen to them. That is the
essence ol my work and my relationship
with them. And in a sudden death, like
an accident or stroke or heart attack,
they are in a stage of physiological
shock and have no consciou: of
dealing with all the stages. The reason
it's a growth experience, or can be, is
that for most people, going through
the stages is their great chance to learn
something they have never learned be-
fore. For instance, many people have
been rebels all their lives. When they
dic in character, they die rebelling and
fighting until the last. If they get a
little help and are not judged or con-

“No patient should be
deprived of free choice. To
me, that isa sacred, univer-

sal law. But there are

patients who do not want
to know they're dying, and
that has to be their choice."

demned for being nasty patients, they
may be able to replace their rebellion
with a genuine positive submission,
and may have learned the lesson that
was the sole se of their being
born into that physical body.

PLAYBOY: In your book, you write,
"Death is often seen by a child as an
impermanent thing and therefore has
little distinction from a divorce." Why?
KUBLER-ROSS: | never read my books, so
that doesn’t sound familiar. But, any-
Шу all children understand
is separation, separation from Mommy
or Daddy, so that is what death is to
Later on, they see death as a m
ion—like when they see a dead cat
on the pavement or they see a cat tear
up a bird, so they naturally associate
that with their own life experiences
and think of death as a bloody mess,
a mutilating thing. That is why they
scream bloody murder when they cut
their finger and bleed a little tiny
Later on, they begin to personalize
death and see it as a boogeyman. They

don't want to sleep with the lights off
or go into the dark cellar. Normally, in
preadolescent years, they will grow out
of those fantasies, depending on how
much fear and guilt they have been fed
by adults. But, for example, when my
daughter was four years old and we
buried her first dog, she wasn't sad.
T couldn't understand it, because she
was very attached to that dog. When
I asked her about it, she said, very
casually, “Mom, don't you understand?
Next spring, when your tulips come up,
he'll come up again and play with me."
PLAYBOY: What happened to her when
he didn't?

KUBLER-ROSS: By then, the attachment had
already begun to wear off. But it would
be very sadistic to a four-year-old child
if I had said, "Well, your dog is dead
and you'll never sec hi n" A
confronta!
can't conceive of yet. АП I said to her
was, "Wouldn't that be lovely?" That
leaves it open. So if she needs the dc-
nial at that time in her chronological
development, then she hears my answer
as an affirmation of her need to believe
that.

PLAYBOY: That brings us to a basic ques-
tion: Do you tell a patient that he is
dying: Or even that he has cancer?
KUBLER-ROSS: Well, yes and no. It doesn't
matter as much that you tell him as
how you tell him and what you tell him
No patient should be deprived of free
choice. To me, that is a sacred, univer-
sal law. That is the greatest gift that
human beings have—free choice. But
you have to understand that there are
patients who do not want to know, and
that has to be their choice. So the
obvious question is, How do you answer
a patient honestly when he asks you?
One percent of our American popula-
tion are what I call deniers. They deny
anything, using denial as their main de.
fense. To them, to die with dignity
would mean to be able to keep up that
stoical front and pretend they don't have
cancer. They are proud to appear un-
affected. To die with dignity, to me,
means to be allowed to die in character,
and I have to respect that free choice.
PLAYBOY: How can you tell if someone
wants to know the truth or wants to
deny?

KUBLER-ROSS: I can usually pick that up
when I talk to him for five minutes. Re-
cently, a woman asked me, “How sick
am 1?” and 1 said, “You are very sick."
She immediately started to talk about the
tragedy of her life. thar she was deprived
of adopting a child. I agreed that was a
very hard thing to accept. You sec, she
was telling me symbolically that she
knew she would be deprived of life and
that was difhcult knowledge to accept.
The art of communication to me is say
ing the truth in a way that one who is
ready to hear it will and one who is not
ready won't. That is what physicians and

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PLAYBOY

clergy have to learn if they don't want to
go around damaging people. You can't
go to a patient and say, “You're dying.
"That's stupid. But if you've done a biop-
sy and the result comes back and it's
malignant and the patient asks you if he
cancer, you have to say yes

PLAYBOY: You would never lie about

ys as-
sociate it immediately with hope.
PLAYBOY: Even if there is no hope?
KUBLER-ROSS: There is always hope. But,
you sce, hope for us the living, for the
well, for the nonterminally ill, is some-
thing totally diflerent than for a patient
who is bevond medical help. When a
patient reaches a stage of acceptance and
you ask him, "What is your hope now?”
You will never hear, "My hope is to get
cured or to prolong my life." You will
suddenly hcar a shifting of gears. One
woman said to me, very philosophically
"I hope God accepts me in His g
Now. I would be a stupid psychiatrist
if I said, "Oh, come on, now, w
going to get you well." She would just
throw me out of the room. Or she would
stop talking to me, because she would
know that 1 couldn't take the truth.
But, instcad, I said to this woman, "Ler's
talk about this garden. What does it
look like in your imaginationz" So she
knew that I knew and that we were
speaking the truth.

PLAYBOY: If a dying patient asks vou what
his odds are, what do you tell him, since
you want to tell the truth but associate
it with hope?

KUBLER-ROSS: І tell him 50 percent the
first year, less the second. and so on, but
I never add it up to 100 percent. Those
who really want to know say, "Hey, doc.
When 1 add that up, it makes only 99
percent" And I sa I always keep
one percent for hope.” Because there are

miracles. I never predict to a patient
how long he will live, because it is never
accurate, never, ever. ever. There are

some young men who contemplate start-
ing a business or a family, a young wom
an who wants to have a child. Thei
time is very important. I will level with
them as to what the statistical probabili-
ties are, but I very much exaggerate ап
thing else because of how incompetent
we really are at predicting.

PLAYBOY: In On Death and Dying, you
write, “The more we are making ad-
vancements in science, the more we seem
to fear and deny the reality of death.
Would you explain that?

KUBLER-ROSS: In our society, we have
discovered an incredible number of
th We have been able to lick in-
fectious diseases that eradicated millions
of people at one time. We've been able
to transplant organs. We are very close
to a time, I believe, when scientists and
medicine will believe that they can con-
quer death itself. People have believed

in nothing else but science and money,
and that if you would get enough money
and brain power together, you could
conquer cancer absolutely, and then
death itseli—as if there
human capability. We have such an

is no limit to

enormous fear of cancer that you can get
thousands and thousands in grant money
to study it. What people don't under-
stand is that it would be the greatest
и:

gedy to do away with cancer.

AYBOY: How do you justify that state-
ment?

KUBLER-ROSS: Well, just visualize what it
would be like if all malignancies were
eradicated. People would live up to 100,
130, and almost all of them would have
strokes. Every house would be full of
paralyzed. incontinent old people unable
to speak. About a third of the popula-
tion would be able to earn a living, but.
they couldn't continue to do that, because
they would have to take care of all these

incapacitated stroke patients. Don't you
think they would be better off to have
cancer, whi

h helps them make the tran-
sonable time, or would
die after six years in a
d unable to speak or urinate
nger? Do you understand?

“There are miracles. Т
never predict to a patient
how long he unll live,
because it is never accurate,

never, ever, ever.”

PLAYBOY: So cancer, to you, fulfills a
function.

KUBLER-ROSS: Naturally. All illness fulfills
a function. In the old days, if it weren't
for epidemic diseases. people would have
st d to death, which is infinitely
worse.

PLAYBOY: What about the pain of cancer?
KUBLER-ROSS: You do not need to have
pain anymore: we can keep all our can-
cer patients pain-free and alert and
conscious. My work is to use the science
of medicine and the art of medicine to
help them finish whatever unfinished
business they have in life. And to convey
all this to the medical people who are
responsible, so that 70 percent of our
terminally ill don't have to die in institu-
tions, which is totally unnecessary, but
n die at home. And that children un-
der 1 who cannot visit hospitals and are
deprived of b the
members will be permitted to see and be
involved with the death of a loved one.
PLAYBOY: But because of your work, aren't
the treatment of terminal patients and
the medical establishment's way of deal-
ing with death changing?

g with

family

KUBLER-ROSS: God, yes. Last year, 125,000
courses in death and dying were taught
in this country alone, and tha
cluding Europe and Australia and Ja-
pan. Not all of thcm are good, mind you,
but at least it’s now a valid subject; and
nurses, social workers, priests, medical
students can learn how to minister to a
dying patient. Medicine is now irrevo-
cably moving in the direction of healing
and spirituality—the way it was 100
years ago, before doctors became exclu-
sively scientists.

PLAYBOY: Let's talk a bit about cancer,
with which most of your work seems to
be. What do you think causes cancer
KUBLER-ROSS: I believe it is a slow-growing
virus, and under certain circumstances,
and especially when there is enough
anguish and pain from recent personal
loss—it is statistically verifiable that such
loss is a precipitating factor in the onset
of cancer—that latent existent virus be-
comes fulminating, grows rapidly and
becomes symptomatic. And I believe
that if people could be in total harmony,
without all the negativity that we've
been talking about, cancer would be
extremely limited. I also think that soci-
ety itself causes more cancer than it
cures by spreading fear tactics, and. you
know we always get what we're most
afraid of. We create our own.

PLAYBOY: Are you afraid of getting cancer?
KUBLER-ROSS: Heck, no. If I could choose
between cancer and a sudden death or a
stroke, I would definitely choose cancer.

PLAYBOY: You smoke incessantly and have
a hacking persistent cough. Aren't you
afraid of smoking?

KUBLER-ROSS: No. I enjoy it.

PLAYBOY: Everybody who smokes enjoys
it. That's not the point

KUBLER-ROSS: I have been telling you that
nothing can touch you if you're not
alraid of it. Voodoo death cannot kill
you if you're not afraid; cigarettes can-
not touch you if youre not afraid of
them. You can only be damaged by those
things you fear.

PLAYBOY: What is your opinion of Lae-
trile?

KUBLER-ROSS: As I've said, the greatest
crime we commit in our society is that
we deprive people of their own free
choice. If I had cancer, I would evaluate
carefully the results of chemotherapy—
the loss of hair and the nausea and the
von ig. All that to get, say,
three months’ life, because chemother
does not cure 99 percent of the p:
It only prolongs their life. So if I want
to choose to take Lactrile instead, for
my own needs, even if they are only
psychological, no one in the world
should be able to make that choice for
me. I would greatly resent anybody tell-
ing me what I can or cannot do with my
own life. All I сап say about Laetrile i

that anything helps if you believe. I can

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PLAYBOY

give you a placebo and you'll get well.
Don't you believe that emotions and
belief and hope are healing? If you need
Laetrile to have hope, it will help you.
PLAYBOY: Where do you stand on eutha-
nasia?

KUBLER-ROSS: I believe very much in
euthanasia. The word literally means “a
good death.” I do not believe in mer
illing, because in the universal law
is a very grave crime to take another
person's life or your own lile. АП the
positive experiences you've ever had in
this lifetime—cvery one—are annulled
for all your future lifetimes if you take a
life. My mother once begged me, while
she was totally healthy, that if she ever
became a vegetable, I would give her an
overdose. Tt was the most unpleasant
dialog 1 have ever had with my mother.
I said, "I will never be able to kill you
If it should happen, all I can do for
you is what J do for my patients. I will
help you live until you die. But I cannot
help you die or speed up your death
PLAYBOY: Ir is difficult to find a definition
of death that satisfies everybody—physi
cians, clergymen, the law. Do you have
one?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, I do. And the truth is
I really got into studying near-death cases
because I was obsessed with finding out
what death really is, what an accurate
definition is. І was asked to write a
chapter on death for the Encyclopaedia
Britannica, and when I did elaborate
research, I discovered that all the defini-
tions were exclusively about the physical
body. So I said, if that iy what medicine
is all about—they are only interested in
the physical body and they are the ones
defining death—then I must come up
with something that will include what
human beings are besides the physical
body. I knew it was crucial to know at
what point it was all right to take a
kidney or a heart out. Or when not to
bother with life-prolonging procedures,
because we would know when a person
was actually dead. Mv definition of death
extends beyond, way beyond, the physical
body: There is an invisible energy cord
between the real immortal you and your
physical body. You are not born into
eternal life—if I may use that language—
until the cord is severed, When you are
hanging between life and death, like
nts, you are out of
the physical body most of the time, but
that cord is not severed yet, so you are
not dead. What we need to develop, and
probably some physicist will do that
eventually, are people who are attuned
to see the cord, or some photographic
technique that can record it. Probably
something like a geiger counter will be
used to measure the energy concentration
that is the cord. So the final, permanent,
irreversible death is when the cord be-
tween the immortal entity and the phys-
ical body has been severed. And what's

some comatose pati

missing now is either a photograph
technique or an energy-measurement
machine.

PLAYBOY: So death to you has nothing to
do with brain waves or heart function,
KUBLER-ROSS: Heck, no. That only de-
scribes the level of functioning of the
physical body, the cocoon.

PLAYBOY: The next phase of your work
was your research with people who had
had neardeath experiences. "That was
when you became convinced of the exist-
ence of an afterlife. You began to move
down a path of mysticism, away from
rigid scientific history. How did
t begin?

KUBLER-ROSS: About 13 years ago, while I
was working extensively with dying pa-
tients in Chicago, I started to think
deeply about my involvement with my
patients. I would get very close to them;
I loved most of them deeply, but my
own experience was that the moment
they died, for me it was like a shell was
in the bed—and I had no more relation-
ship with that shell. I would walk out
and all I would feel was that I had done
my best and goodbye, it's finished,
despite all the special and profound
moments we'd shared. I asked my col-
leagues what was wrong with me, was I
а cold cookie because 1 didn't grieve?
But that didn’t feel right; I knew I would.
given my life for some of my pa-
tients. So I started to consider that there
must be something more than just the
physical body and that was why I wasn't
experiencing loss or grief when they died.
You cannot work with dying patients for
long without asking intelligent questions.
But my first step was simply an intel-
lectual curiosity; it had nothing to do
with spiritual needs or awareness. Trying
to find the answers to life after death was
the last thing on my mind.

PLAYBOY. How did you find a way to
rescarch that topic?

KUBLER-ROSS: There is an old saying that
when the pupil is ready, a teacher will
appear. Within five days of asking
those questions, I got my first case. Mis.
Schwartz came into the hospital and
told us how she had had а near-death
experience. She was a housewife from
Indiana, а very simple and unsophisti-
ted woman, you understand. She had
advanced cancer, had hemorrhaged and
was put into a private hospital, very close
to death. The doctors attempted. for 45
minutes to revive her, after which she
signs and was declared dead.
She told me later that while they were
working on her, she had an experience
of simply floating out of her physical
body and hovering a few feet above the
bed, watching the resuscitation team
work very frantically. She described to me
the designs of the doctors’ ties, she re-
peated a joke one of the young doctors
told, she remembered absolutely every-
thing. And all she wanted to tell them

was relax, take it easy, it is all right,
don’t struggle so hard. The more she
tried to tell them, the more frantically
they worked to revive her. Then, in her
own language, she “gaye up” on them
and lost consciousness. After they de-
clared her dead, she made a comeback
and lived for a year and a half. I took
her to my medical class and she shared
that experience. She was quite upset and
afraid maybe she was crazy.
PLAYBOY: What did you tell her?
KUBLER-ROSS: I said I didn't know what to
call her experience, because I had never
heard of that. But I accepted it as a
ty, that it had actually happened to
My students attacked me. Why didn't
I call this a hallucination, a delusion,
they said? T said, "What's the matter
with you arrogant, grandiose guys? What
interest would this woman have in lying?
Can you understand that there are a
million things that you don't know yct?”
I tried to convey to them that it was time
to just be open. The students were very,
very upset. so the man I was working
with—this beautiful black minister—and
decided that we would embark on a
top-secret mission and collect 20 cases,
and if we could find those—20 people
ith similar experiences—then there must
be another 20 somewhere in the world,
and then we would publish them.
PLAYBOY: Why did you assume von could
find 20 other cases and that that wasn’t
Mis, Schwartz's unique experience?
KUBLER-ROSS: | can't really answer that.
I just knew intuitively. 1 was totally sure
that if we would just keep the door open
and not judge and label everything, we
would find other people. The woman
much too authentic and genuine,
and she could recall all those things while
she had a flat EEG [electroencephalo-
gram]. You must understand that medi-
cally there is no possible explanation for
that. And we checked out every bit of
her story with the doctors. We've had
people who were in severe auto accidents,
had no vital signs and told us how many
blowtorches were used to extricate them.
from the wreck. And we verified all of it.
Or a person knocked down by a hitand-
run driver, had no vital signs and gave
us the license number of the car. And
they were all watching the scene from
a distance, seeing themselves in the wi
or lying on the highway, like watch
a movie. They were very peaceful and
serene while they observed. That is, by
the way, what we call an outof-body
perience—where you leave your phys-
ical body and observe yourself from.
nother place. In a near-death experience,
the body becomes perfect again. Quadri-
plegics are no longer paralyzed, multiple-
sclerosis patients who have been in
wheelchairs for years say that when they
were out of their bodies, they were able
to sing and dance. Mrs. Schwartz, who
had had a breast removed and had had

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PLAYBOY

a colostomy, experienced her physical
body as whole and undamaged.

PLAYBOY: But that could be a projection
of wishful thinking.

KUBLER-ROSS: OK, so if you are a very
skeptical, choosy scientist, which I have
always been and always will be, you take
totally blind people who don't even have
light perception. don't even see shades of
gray. If they have a near-death experience,
they can report exactly what the scene
looked like at the accident or hospital
room. They have described to me incred-
ibly minute details. How can you ex-
plain that?

PLAYBOY: We can't.

KUBLER-ROSS: The next step, after the
floating experience that they describe, is
that the person then goes through a
tunnel. It may also be а mountain pass
or down a beach. That symbol is a
variable in different cultures. This is
actually the wansition from the physical
body, the passing from this life to the
next life. Everybody reports that he sees
a light, brighter and more beautiful than
anything he has ever seen. And they
head toward the source of the light. The
closer they get to it, the more they are
engulfed in an indescribable sense of
love and compassion. This light is what
people call Christ or God or spiritual
energy—there are different labels for it.
Waiting for them are their loved ones
who have preceded them in death. They
are very happy. content, loved and fcel
no urge to return to life. Many report
that they are then given a choice to
return or not, but they feel they have to
come back to complete some task or un-
finished business.

PLAYBOY. Even if we accept what you
are reporting —

KUBLER-ROSS: But you don't have to ac-
That's not my intention or hope
not my purposc.

PLAYBOY: All right, but let's take it a
step further. A near-death experience
is still not death itself; so how can you
make a leap to an assumption about
what actually happens to people after
they die?

KUBLER-ROSS: You don't have to be crit-
ically ill to experience this, and I have
had those experiences many times. You
see, you really don't even need to work
with dying patients to get this informa-
tion. All we are talking about are the
out-of-body experiences, which millions
of people have had. I have made the
ion to the other side many times,
going through a mountain pass with
wildflowers. I can sit in a chair in
California and with the speed of my
thought be with my sister in Switzer-
land, out of my physical body. A man
ned Robert Monroe is doing this
nd thousands of
people have created these trips for them-
selves. I'll tell you about mine, if you
like.

PLAYBOY: Yes, but let's stick with thi:
for a moment. What, then, is the
ifference between an out-of-body ex-
perience, a near-death experience and
death?

KUBLER-ROSS: Simple. When you are per-
manently dead, you do not re-enter
your body on the bed. Your soul—or
call it your entity, your immortal selí—
does not come back to this life. And the
first step—shedding your body, going
through the tunnel or mountain pass,
seeing the light—is the same for all of
those. To use the most simplistic lan-
guage: Before you are in heaven, you
have to leave your body. In order to
free the butterfly, your soul, you have
to shed your cocoon, the physical body.
And in order to leave your body, you
have to have an out-of-body experience.
When you ask 1000 people what it was
like at the moment they thought they
were about to die, they all share the
saine out-of-body experience.

PLAYBOY: How many cases have you
actually researche
KUBLER-ROSS: Alter a few hundred, we
stopped counting because it dawned оп

“When you ask 1000 people
what it was like at the
moment they thought they
were about to die, they all
share the same out-of-
body experience.”
———————

us that we could present 100 or 100.000
cases and we would always get the same
objections.

PLAYBOY: Some of the rescarch that has
been done by other people into near-
death experiences results in conclusions
opposite to your findings. There are
stories, for example, of people who go
Kicking and screaming into death, and
it is apparently a horrible, ter
experience for them. Or a near-death
situation where the people remember
nothing, have no awareness.

KUBLER-ROSS: The latter is very true. You
know that you dream every night and
mostly can't recall the dreams. You
also have out-of-body experiences every
night and have no awareness of that.
1 would say that probably nine out of
ten people who have a temporary car-
diac arrest and then live again have
absolutely no recall. 1 don't take that
as any kind of meaningful evidence. As
for the negative experiences, I know that
rescarch, from a cardiologist in Florida.
If you know that coronaries are the result
of repressed anger and fear, and tha
the subjects of his research not only were

coronary cases but were from that area
of the country—the southea: of
the Bible Belt—you will understand
why these patients saw hell and brim-
stone and Satan. They are raised in a
church that teaches gi and condem-
nation and sin. So when someone like
that is near death and his defenses fall
apart, he becomes a very frightened
child again, and all the stories from
Sunday school come back. The Devil is
going to take him. It is a projection of
his lifelong fears. If you study 1000 Hin-
dus who never heard about fire and
brimstone, not one of them will see
Satan.

PLAYBOY: What that suggests is that all
near-death reports may be a projection.
One person with a certain acculturization
will see hell when he is about to die and.
another person with a ferent history
will see grandma at the end of a long
tunnel greeting him. What's the differ-
ence? Why is your research any more
real than the other?

KUBLER-ROSS: You are exactly where I
was years ago; you are asking the same
questions I asked. So you should go and
check it out yourself.

PLAYBOY: But you even said a moment
ago that to accumulate more case studies
was pointles. What makes it unques-
nable reality for you that death is
what you say it is?

KUBLER-ROSS: Му own experiences. 1 have
had all those experiences that precede
permanent death, as 1 told you. And
once you have had those experiences,
you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt
and no matter wi the whole world
will say. And all you feel like doing
is smiling and saying, Just wait until
you make the transition апа you'll know.
PLAYBOY: Would you admit that what
you just said is not scient
KUBLER-ROSS: Not scientific in the way
that you define science, yes.

PLAYBOY: And you know, as a scientist.
that it is not enough to say it is a fact
because you say it's a fact.

KUBLER-ROSS: Not for you, but it’s enough
for me. There are many things І know
fact that I don't understand. I just
know they are true.

PLAYBOY: Well, that stops this line of
dialog in its tracks. We have nowhere
to go with that. So knowing now how
you define ^ ntific evidence," let us
go on with the “facts,” and we won't
constantly ask for verification. At least,
that seems to be the only choice you
leave us.

KUBLER-ROSS: But you see, you could
verify everything I say. You. It
been duplicated by dozens of scientists
and people from all over the world.
But you yourself could go and sit with
dying children and listen to them. Find
out for yourself. Take blind people
and see what they cin see when they
are supposedly dead, have them tell

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PLAYBOY: But you have also said that
if we spoke with people who saw fire
and brimstone, we should discount those.
KUBLER-ROSS: No, no. You design your
own research project that is satisfactory
to your criteria, not to mine. Do it with
someone in a lab in an outof-body
experience, which is the same as near
de: Make a shelf right under the
ceiling and put a book way up therc,
while the person lies on a couch. Then
have that person tell you the name of
the book. If you really want to know
the answers, invest the time and the
energy and investigate. You'll find the
answers That is all you can do in
order to realize that 1 am mot crazy
and I am not confabulating. But you
scc that I cannot do that for you. I
cannot tell you how many months of
my life I have spent verifying my find-
ings for other people's needs. I supplied.
them with data, with everything, and
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could be something else." And no mat-
ter what I supplied, they al
up with another intellect
I have stopped doing that for other
people.

PLAYBOY: What happens, in your view,
after deathz

KUBLER-ROSS: Alter you shed your cocoon,
you are temporarily in a transient, non-
physical state called the ethereal body.
"Then you lose that ethereal body and
become the pure form of a soul. We call
that the entity or self. The self is an
energy pattern and exists where there
is no space and no time. It is immortal
and eternal. That is the real you, the
you that cannot die. So after you have
this experience of being in the ethercal
body, you are placed in an environment
that is comfortable апа familiar to you,
п order to make the transition in а
nonlrightening. nonprovoking w:
that will bc the tunnel or, for me, my
ul mountain pass. It could be
nage of anything that sepa
or connects. Like a river, a gate, a wa
a door.

PLAYBOY: 15 there any time attached to
that phase?

KUBLER-ROSS: It is probably hours, maybe
days. I don't know. At any rate, then
you shed the ethereal body and become
this incredibly beautiful energy pattern.
‘There are hundreds in the room right
now. Very few human c
seen that, but I have twi
know why that gift was given to me.
PLAYBOY: Can you experience their pres-
ence right now?

KUBLER-ROSS: Right now, no, І only
know that they are here. But sometimes
I can tune into that, like tuning into
a wave length. It's an incredible mysti-
cal experience, but it's much easier to
see them when it's dark. Each energy,
soul has a dillerent pattern. Ехасйу

ve ever
don't

like snowflakes—billions of them and
no two alike, no two human beings
ever exactly alike on this whole planet
PLAYBOY: Is this soul, or energy pattern,
a higher form than we are?

KUBLER-ROSS: [t is not higher nor is it
lower. It is just you, the real you. When
you are born into a physical body, you
need that body to have all the experi
ences in a physical world that you could
not have without a body and a limiting
brain, and your amnesia, which causes
you to forget all your past lives. That
is for the purpose of your growth. You
have to be in this temporary prison that
we call physical life, and you stay in
form until you ha all of the positive
experiences that this existence can afford
you. But when you are in an energy
pattern, you have access to all knowl-
edge, understanding, compassion and
unconditional love. You have all the
wisdom of the universe.

PLAYBOY: How long do you stay in that
phase?

KUBLER-ROSS: Until you have completed
your destiny, and then you return to
the source from which you came. You
return to God.

PLAYBOY: When do you come back in
another human form?

KUBLER-ROSS: If you have not passed the
test, if you haven't completed all the les-
sons that you need to learn in the
physical world. Then you come back
before you return to God. Needless to
you choose the time of history, your
parents, the country, the environment
that is most conducive to the fulfill-
ment of your own destiny. You make
the commitment of what you will do
with your existence this time. You pick
your own major and minor and your
school, so to speak.

PLAYBOY: Can you move back and forth
in time?

KUBLER-ROSS: No, you can't. Thats the
universal law. There are three universes.
One is the physical in which we live
right now. It is very dense, created out
of physical energy, terribly limited. Then
there is the unobstructed universe where
we go after we die, and where we con-
tinue our growth and learning expe-
riences. In that universe, there are guides
and guardian angels who look after us
so we can complete and graduate. Then
there is the third and that is synony
mous with what the churches would call
heaven, That is the source апа God to
whom we all return. Only after you
have graduated from the second uni-
verse, the unobstructed universe, can
you even see that absolutely final one.
Every step higher gives you more love,
compassion and wisdom,

PLAYBOY: When Hitler died, would he
have experienced all this love and com-
passion? Didn't he have to pay for h
evil doings?

KUBLER-ROSS: Now you are getting to
the evaluation. In the unobstructed

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world, in the presence of this guidance
and unconditional love, you are asked
to evaluate your lile, No one can do
that for you, and you review every word,
thought, every deed of your total ex-
istence—and that includes your past
lives if you have had past lives. So your
example of Hitler is a good one, because
to me, Hitler is the most negative per-
son who cver lived. But negativity can
only exist in the realm of the physical
person. In the realm of spiritual energy
that is God-created, negativity cannot
exist. It is all unconditional love.
"Therefore, when Hitler stands in the
presence of his life and docs his evalua-
tion, he watches, with compassion, the
death of the 1,500,000 people he killed
at Maidenek concentration camp. He
will watch the results of the constant
choices in his life. He will watch this
not with grief, agony and guilt, because
these negative emotions do not exist.
Instead of self-pity or self-loathing, he
will have compassion.

PLAYBOY: For himself?

KUBLER-ROSS: And for all the tragedy he
caused. He will have an incredible
understanding of why he became the
what he needed to learn;
4 the time of history
1 and that supported
him and pushed him in that direction.
He will probably gain in understanding
of human behavior far more than most
human beings ever gain. And that, you
must understand, will be a huge asset
when he chooses how he will return in
order to become a great leader.

PLAYBOY: Will he inevitably come back
as a great leader?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. He misused his powers
for destruction and failed to lead a
nation to its more positive, fulfilled ex-
istence. For this, by the way, he may
have to wait 3000 years or 5000 years,
in order to find a nation that offers the
opportunity to undo all his misdeeds.
Then he will probably be the greatest
leader who ever existed.

PLAYBOY: Perhaps h
KUBIER-ROSS: No.
PLAYBOY: How do you know that?
KUBIER-ROSS: Well, that is a very private
thing that I asked. My whole early life
was shaped by Hitler and Nazi Germany,
so I wanted to know. Now, when he is
reborn, he will not carry the burden
of guilt or the awareness of who he
was. Never. But he will choose parents
who will create in him the qualities
that a great leader needs—selFlove, self-
trust, assertiveness, confidence. And the
right time and place in which to be-
come that.

PLAYBOY: Could you say, then, that
Gandhi or the Dalai Lama was possibly
a Hitler in another lifetime?

KUBLER-ROSS: It is very conceivable, but
not necessarily true. Some make it the
first time. God creates everybody to
fulfill his destiny in one lifetime, but

man he did,

k already.

very few make it, maybe one in a billion.
I don't know the percentages: I'll have
to ask that опе, The shortest time be-
tween the creation of a human being
ad his return to God was 43 years.
The longest has been 2,000,000 years
and he is in this universe and has
not made it yet. Just to give you some
idea of what the options are. Whether
it is an endless journey of thousands of
years or one lifetime depends on
whether we have been raised with disci-
pline and unconditional love, so that
you become a spiritually aware human
being and can spend your life with a
partner who is fulfilling and gratifying.
PLAYBOY: That certainly doesn't apply
to a lot of people, does it?

KUBLER-ROSS: No. But you will always
have another chance. There is nobody
who doesn't make it, because God
docsn't know punishment or condem-
nation.

PLAYBOY: Nowhere in this picture is there
a hell or a purgatory or damnation.
KUBLER-ROSS: Of course not. Those things
do not exist. I have always known that
But most Western soci s preach sin
and condemnation, which is why there
is so little room for real spiritual devel-
opment.

PLAYBOY: Now for the obvious question:
How do you know all this?

KUBLER-ROSS: From my spirit guides. From.
our very direct communication.

PLAYBOY: Tell us about your first experi-
ences with spirit guides.

KUBLER-ROSS: І had my first one in a
laboratory, about ninc years ago. I hap-
pened to find a book called Journeys
Out of the Body, and although I found
it dreadfully boring, I began to see that
there were hundreds of people having
these spontaneous experiences. So |
wrote to the author, Bob Monroe, who is
an inventor and a sound engineer, who
had a laboratory in the mountains in
Virginia. He invited, for me, a group of
physicians, psychiatrists, people from the
Menninger Foundation and engineers,
to come together to do these experi-
ments. And he invited me to stay in his
little guesthouse on the edge of the for-
est. The way it worked, he had me lie on
a tiny water bed in a little cubbyhole in
his laboratory, and I was hooked up to
polygraphs and wearing earphones
through which I heard tapes of the
sound of something like waves and a
combination of waves superimposed onto
one another. The purpose of those tapes
was to have you go into a nonnormal
reality state, and then he would give you
instructions in relaxation. All of a sud-
den, I was on the ceiling. 1 was so ex-
cited that you couldn't believe it. It was
really the highlight of my life up to that
point. Then the lab chief called me back
through the earphones, She said I was
going too fast, or too soon. Later, when
everybody discussed what they had expe-
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interfere with me.” I explained that I
am a procrastinator, but once I do som
thing, I go all the way, further than
anybody else, and I am not afraid of it.
That's my personality

PLAYBOY: Did you do that again?
KUBLER-ROSS: The next day. I told myself
that I was going to go faster than the
speed of light and further than any
human being has ever been. Well, the
second I was hooked up, I went
whecetttt—literaily faster than the speed
of light. One second I was on a horizon-
tal course, then a yertical one. Then I
saw that you can be anywhere you want
with the speed of your thought. When Т
came back, everybody stared at me. I did
not know what they saw, but they said I
looked like an altered person. Inciden-
tally, I was a very sick girl, close to
critically ill when all this happened. I
had almost a total bowel obstruction. I
couldn't do anything that lasted over an
hour and a half because of the abdomi-
nal pains, and І was g on Pro-
Banthine. When I came out of the lab, it
took me about three hours to һе aware
that I was healed. I touched my stomach
and there was no pain or tenderness.
PLAYBOY: How long did that trip last?
KUBLER-ROSS: Maybe 15, 20 minutes. When
I awoke, I couldn't remember exactly
where I had been, but I knew that every
molecule in my body had changed. I
felt unlimited. And the staff said I looked
illuminated, rejuyenated, like I had had
a transcendental experience. And it
lasted days and days. I was dying to know
where I had been, but the only thing
that came back to my consciousness w
two words: Shanti Nilaya, All that an
body knew was that Shanti means peace
in Sanskrit. They tried hypnosis and
everything they knew so I could remem-
but 1 had blocked out all conscious

К to the little house, І sud-
denly knew that I had gone too far with
my awareness and the thought crossed my

ind that it was too dangerous to be
there alone that night. Then another
thought that it was uscless to worry, be-
cause I had already stepped beyond a
n barrier. So I kept the night light
on, but I couldn't sleep, because 1 knew
the moment I did, it would happen. No
idea what i was, but I just knew that
something horrendous was going to
happen.

I tossed around for about a half hour,
and then it hit me like lightning. I went
through an experience that is really be-
yond description; I can only м
accurate words. I had become every
tient I ever attended, and I went
through the deaths of every single person
whose life 1 had ever touched. It was ex-
cruciating physical agony; 1 was doubled
in and felt there would be no
I went through a thousand
deaths, one right on top of the other,
like labor pains but with no time to

catch my breath between. But it wasn't
just physical agony, it was also spiritual,
emotional, every aspect that a human
could experience. And there was nobody
to call for help. I begged for a shoulder
to lean on, specifically a man's left
shoulder for me to put my head on in
the agony. Suddenly a voice came from
nowhere and everywhere, a very deep,
loving but firm voice, a man’s voice.
‘Three and a half years later, when I met
the guides, I recognized the voice. He
said, “You shall not be given.” And the
agony continued.

PLAYBOY: So that was your first contact
with the spirit guides.

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes.

PLAYBOY: How long did your agony con-
tinue?

KUBLER-ROSS: l'm not sure, but I think
about three and a half hours. Then I
asked for a hand to hold and the same
voice came: "You shall not be
The agony was unthinkable, indescrib-
ple. Suddenly, it stopped. Stopped.
Then everything in the room started
this high-speed vibration, everything 1
touched with my eyes turned into a
million molecules vibrating. My belly
was vibrating at the same specd and
there was the bright incredible light that
my patients described moving toward.
1 merged into that light and all I can
tell you is, it was like 10,000 orgasms.
Everything became one and I merged
into it. Two sentences came to me; one
was, "I am acceptable," and the other
was, "I am part of one.” I fell into a
wancclike sleep and later, when I walked
down the hill, I was totally in love with
the univ I couldn't talk about th
experience to anyone for a long time,
until a few: months later, I gave a lecture
in Berkeley, to a group of transpersonal
psychology students. I knew that was the
place I could share what I had experi
enced. They greeted my story with rev-
crence and respect. They told me that
was a very well-known phenomenon
called. cosmic consciousn And they
told me Shanti Nilaya m
home of peace.” That is why 1 have
called my beloved healing center Shanti
Nilaya.
PLAYBOY:
for you.
KUBLER-ROSS: The greatest tu
of my life. Until a few years
met my guides.

PLAYBOY: It’s interesting to see the path
you've taken in your life; there seem to
be several threads from your childhood:
you call yourscl£ a "straight.
you have always chosen
10 play in, always
worked on the fringes of society. Why?
KUBLER-ROSS: You really have to go back
to how I was born, if you want the whole
story. I was a triplet, probably the
greatest tragedy you can imagine. No-
Dody wants a whole litter, for one thing.
Then, one of my sisters and I were iden-

that was the turning point

ing point
go, when I

squa

al and our parents couldn't tell us
apart. So, although I had everything—
good parents, all the material things in
the world, 1 pretty and intelligent
and had lovely dresses—but 1 had abso-
lutely nothing. My parents didn't know
which onc of us was sitting on their laps
or who they were bathing. And that
beginning is the only reason I'm in this
work, I'm sure. Because it taught me that
if you aren't acknowledged as a unique
human being, you have nothing. So 30
years later, there I am, working with
chronic hopeless schizophrenics who ha
no name, no identity. Гуе worked with
blind, retarded. multiple-handicapped
children who were only numbers in in-
stitutions. And I've worked with dying
cancer patients who were outcasts and
ignored. Without my upbringing, where
I had everything but nothing, I would
never have gotten into this work.
PLAYBOY: There was obviously а deep
sense of identification between you and
humanity's “outcasts.”

KUBIER-ROSS: Oli, yes. All of those miser-
able people, I know every one of them
like a book. And they always know that.
Our communication is unique. They
trust me.

PLAYBOY: And you've alwa
ing lor traditional middle-class
haven't you?

KUBLER-ROSS: Absolutely. 1 never even
wanted to come to this country; I wanted
to practice medicine in Africa or India
But my husband got a job as an intern
in a hospital on Long Island, so I had to
go there. I was miserable. When I was 16
years old, after the war, І was working in
ravaged Poland, wandering like a gypsy.
organizing soup kitchens and typhoid
stations and running a tiny clinic, and I
was supercontent. Every day we were
able to help so many people and it was
complete happiness for me. There were
no doctors, people came in with shrapnel
wounds, and they would give me a chick-
cn for payment. Thats where I really
got my medical training, you understand.
And I could have lived like that forever,
with nothing in my pocket. And here E
was in this fancy hospital, hating those
spoiled brats and those parents who in-
dulged them so. It was so boring, that
work. So then later, when I got th
chance to work with chronic schizophren
ics, it was a challenge for me. I got on
very well with psychotic patients, I was
totally motivated and had great s
with them. But I didn't even know how
to talk to a neurotic.

PLAYBOY: Since you have traveled so
much of the time over the past decade,
seeing patients and lecturing and соп
ducting your workshops, how has that
allected the quality of your family life?
KUBLER-ROSS: I wasn't home very much, of
course, since Гуе been traveling about
250,000 miles a ye:
But when you are ma
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Е
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Е
E
i

am not a very easy woman to live with,
because I am impulsive. If I have an
intuition that I have to go to Switzer-
land, I go. If I feel that I have to make
a house call to a patient in Anchorage,
Alaska, I go. Not many men can tolerate
that, even though I made the money in
the family. But he was very tolerant of
my traveling. Our values were as differ-
ent as night and day. He hated what I
call old-fashioned happiness, hiking in
the mountains, and I hated going to
hotels. We usually compromised.
PLAYBOY: How about your children? You
have two?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, a boy and a girl. My
kids are very beautiful and special,
and because I wasn't home much,
our times together were very intense. I
love to cook and bake, so on weekends I
cooked all the meals for the family and
put them in the freezer so they could
always have a home-cooked meal And
my kids never got on my nerves, because
if you see your children only two days a
week, you never get tired of them, and
the moment they made те crazy, it was
time to pack my suitcase again. When I
was home, my daughter and I would can
vegetables together or we would bake
cookies. It was like Christmas.

PLAYBOY: When you began having mysti-
cal experiences, how did your husband
react?

KUBLER-ROSS: At first he listened to them
kind of patiently. He didn't knock them,
but he couldn't really understand or
empathize. Later on, of course, when I
became so immersed, he left.

PLAYBOY: So, in a sense, your belief in
spirit guides ended up destroying your
family life. You said your very first en-
counter was during that hair-raising
experience. When was your next onc?
KUBLER-ROSS: It happened five years after-
ward. "There was this group of people in
Escondido, California, right outside San
Diego, who worked together for years
and years with spirit guides. It was their
private search for answers, their seeking
of guidance and help.

PLAYBOY: Was that the group of Jay and
Marti Barham, the couple who are now
your partners? The people around whom
the scandal erupted?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. These were called
darkroom sessions, and the people who
came ran the gamut from physicians and
policemen to housewives. There are a
hundred other groups in America that do
that. So, at one of their sessions, the
guides told a nurse that I would soon
be meeting them. She wrote me a letter
telling me, even saying the date on
which the guide predicted I would be
there. Now, I get lots of kookie letter
as you can imagine. I just put it awa:
but it bothered me like you wouldn't
believe and I went back and read it
again. I looked to see where I was booked
that weekend, to see if I would be in the

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same town and, if not, then I knew it was
a kook letter. And darn, it was a weekend
when I was at home. Within one hour,
I got an emergency phone call begging
mc to come to California to give a
lecture. It was in San Diego, on the same
date! I was very open-minded and I felt
that if it were real, it was probably the
greatest miracle of my life; if not, at least
it wasn't a wasted trip.

PLAYBOY: Did you meet Jay Barham that
weekend?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. He was there. And the
nurse, who told me what to expect in the
sesion. I was very excited. There were
75 people in the room. sitting in chairs,
and the moment I walked in, they started
to sing. The room was illuminated just
enough to see clearly, but the guides
cannot materialize with bright lights, so
it was pretty dark. I sat in the front row,
and just to have 75 people who were
willing to drive from all over California
for me was a very touching moment.
About five minutes later, this huge figure
suddenly appears, 710" exactly, walks by
me and starts talking to the group
PLAYBOY: A male?

KUBLER-ROSS: A male. Black. Dressed in a
flapping white headdress, like a Bedouin,
and a long white robe. The first words
he said, in this deep baritone, were: “You
are here to support this lady by creating
positive energy and to continue to sup-
port her in the pursuit of her destiny.”
It was the same voice that I had heard in
Virginia several years before. He turned
to me and called me Isabelle and said
that that was my name. I didn't under-
stand what he meant. He talked for a
while and people asked him questions.
I was so nervous I asked him dumb
things like, “What shall 1 talk about in
my lecture tomorrow?” His answer was,
“Tell them I exist.” Which I did.
PLAYBOY: What was the group's response?
KUBLER-ROSS: I was so high they knew I
was telling the truth. So then Anka—
that's his name—said, “Your own special
friend is ready to come and visit you
now,” and Salem appeared an inch in
front of my knees. And I thought, If this
guy touches me I'm going to drop dead.
The second I had that thought, he disap-
peared and I was furious at myself. So
Anka said we should take a break and
when we came back, he told me that I
needed this experience in order to remove
the last doubts from my mind that what
I already believed about life after death
was true. That is why, he said, I had to
have my own experiences of the moment
of death. And he asked if I was willing
to continue with this work, because the
death-and-dying work was just a test, the
real pain and hostility from the world
was yet to come. He asked me three times
and I said yes three times, Then Salem
reappeared and he touched my sandals
for a long time. He stroked my hair very
gently and held my hand, Then I knew

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PLAYBOY

102

fter
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what my patients talk about when,
you come of the tunnel, you
engulfed in total, absolute love. You feel
like a baby after it has been nursed and
lies in’ the arms of its mother. The ten-
derness and peace are indescribable.
PLAYBOY: When he touched vou, did he
feel like a real man?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. There is no distinction.
Salem took me into the next room and
told me that we, the people at that
session, were chosen to be present because
we had worked together in Jerusalem
2000 years ago with Christ. And that
we had made a commitment to him that
there was another moral crisis, when
mankind was on the edge, we would all
come back and help. And Christ called
me Isabelle. Salem told me this society
will пу anything to discredit me. They
will ridicule me and mute me and render
me incapacitated. And was I willing to
accept this task? 1 said yes once again.
PLAYBOY: What other messages did Salem
give you?

KUBLER-ROSS: He said that all people are
guided this way—if only we knew it—
and that we are protected and loved
beyond any comprehension. Then he
left. And the group of us sat and played
guitars and sang. By then it was about
two in the morning. After a few minutes,
Willy appeared.
PLAYBOY: Who was Will:
KUBLER-ROSS: The guide who sings and

out

ү?

looks like an American country-music
singer. He sang one song after another
and I felt very nostalgic. God, 1 thought,
if my parents could only have lived long
enough to know this miracle. Their little
black sheep, Elisabeth, getting a great
gilt like this. Now, my father's favorite
song when I was a child was Always; and
those mel:

while 1 was h

aving
thoughts, Willy stopped his song in the
middle, looked at me and. began to sing,
“TIL be loving you always.” Tell me,
how can anybody fake that? We sang

ncholy

for God knows how many hours that
night.
PLAYBOY: How does one materialize а
guide?

KUBLER-2OSS: It takes two forms of energy
Number one, it takes enormous
amount of positive energy, more energy
than to shoot a rocket to the moon. So
it is not an ordinary kind of occurrence.
If anybody in the group is destructive
or negative, no guide can possibly ma-
terialize. It is very complicated. Second,
it takes channel energy. A person—like
Jay Barham—acts as the channel, and
the guides take actual molecules out of
him to clone a human being, in which
form they appear. The bulk energy to
create the guide who comes to visit
comes from us, the group. It is a true
cloning. And the more people there
are in the group, the faster the material.
ization happens. Jay is the best channel

MAKES YOU /
FEEL LIKE A

MILLION.
TRY IT.

I know, not the only one but the best.
Not only does he have a huge amount
of positive energy but he has the ability
to put himself into this trancelike state
where the guides can work on him with-
out waking him up.

PLAYBOY: When Barham channel,
does the guide cloned from him look like
him?

KUBLER-ROSS: Oh, Anka
from Jay and he is pitch-black and
7/10”. You sce, they can create anything
they want, and they can change in one
evening. One Christmas, I told Anka
jokingly he should come as a Santa
Claus with a beard, and he actually did.
With a real beard that we all pulled on.
PLAYBOY: You have claimed that you've
scientifically verified the existence of
spirit guides. How?

KUBLER-ROSS: Remember in one of the
first questions you asked, I told you that
I'm blessed that I'm able to be in touch
with them, to see and talk to them, to
taperecord them, They know
thing about my life.

PLAYBOY: If you heard that answer from
somebody else, would you consider that
“scientific verification”?
KUBLER-ROSS: You see, my definition of
verification might be thrown out by a
hundred scientists. But when some-
thing happens like my trip to Georgia,
where Mario appeared, only from the
waist up, and massaged me and мее

is a

no. materializes

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later, when I saw him again, just to
test the truth, I said, "What in the
world happened in Georgia" He played
insulted and said, in that gruff voice,
"Don't you remember? I gave you a
back rub for 15 minutes." So, you see,
Ive had hundreds of these experiences.
"That's my verification.

PLAYBOY: Whatever else it is, it's not the
slightest bit scientific. Has it occurred to
you thar all of this stuff about spirit
guides might be your way of dealing
with the chronic depression that ap-
parently affects many professionals in
your ficld—constantly having to cope
with death and suffering, families losing
their loved ones, grief, tragedy, horror?
You are obviously a compassionate wom-
an and perhaps you've invented jolly
tales of eternal bliss in order to manage
this work you do.

KUBLER-ROSS: But, you scc, I have never
viewed death as a tragedy, nor have I
been afraid to die. Death is very natural
to me and it is terribly misunderstood
in our society. It is a fact that nine
out of ten people go into this field in
order to cope with their own fears of
death. But if you don't have а pool of
unexpressed and repressed pain and
fear, you do not get depressed or burned
out. You can only get burned out if you
do not have the courage and the tech-
nique to work with your own personal
unfinished business and finish it. My

work brings me contentment and satis-
faction. It brings me happiness. I love
to sit with a dying child and see the
parents find peace before she dies. And
see the brothers and sisters being able
to talk with that child. And to listen to
that child of four or five who is so wise.
That nurtures me and makes me feel
very good about myself.

PLAYBOY: All right, tell us about Barham.
Who is he?

KUBLER-ROSS: The world thinks he is a
nobody. He was a sharecropper and a
mechanic and doesn't even have a high
school diploma. But he has a greater gift
for healing than anybody I have ever
met In all my traveling and the hun-
dreds of talented people I have seen, I
have never met anybody with more hu-
mility or a greater gift. I knew right
away that he was obviously the person I
should be working with, even though my
husband and my so-called friends said I
should be joining up with somebody of
the same caliber as me, someone with
fame and all the honorary degrees that I
have. But all that is as useless as an old
dishrag to me. I see my teaming up with
the Barhams as predestined, part of our
commitment before we were born. Each
onc of us has our own gifts—Marti is a
very good teacher of psychodrama—so
we each contribute what we are in a very
comfortable symbiosis.

PLAYBOY: Are the Barhams involved in

your Shanti Nilaya “healing cente!
KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, they are on the paid
staff, and they give 99 percent of the
workshops now: with me. All of our
money gocs into Shanti Nilaya; of course,
I contribute much more than they do so
far. But someday Jay will be so famous
that people will be happy to pay him
$10,000 for a visit. Right now, I spend
$50,000 a year just on the upkeep.
PLAYBOY: Does Shanti Nilaya have any-
thing to do with the darkroom sessions
and the spirit guides?

KUBLER-ROSS: Nothing at all. That took
place at Jay's ranch, which is down the
road.

PLAYBOY: Let’s discuss the scandal that
was unearthed by the press two years ago,
centering on those darkroom sessions.
There were several charges made by
people from your group who had partic
ed in the materializations of the
spirit guides—or "entities," as you also
call them. They claim three things: (1)
that there are no real spirits present,
only Barham masquerading as an entity;
(2) that Barham, in disguise, had fre
quently lured the female members into
sexual activities with him; and (3) that
he enlisted other women members to
pretend to be guides and seduce the male
participants. You are not considered part
of the fraudulence but a dupe of the
Barhams. What do you say?

KUBLER-ROSS: I have spent more than 200

103

PLAYBOY

104

hours in the darkroom sessions, and I
have had no such experience or ever seen
any sex take place. This small segment
of people defected because they were
confronted with their own perversions,
their own unnatural behavior and nega-
tivity and couldn't take it. But that is a
very small group. To me all those
stories—every one—are a projection, an
attempt of people to deal with their
own fears and guilts by projecting them.
on somebody else in an attempt to re-
venge and destroy.

PLAYBOY: A woman who was a close
friend of yours went, at your invitation,
to participate in a darkroom session. Ac-
cording to an article in New West, she
said that her entity told her he would
help her, in private, with the sexual
problems she was having with her hus-
band. Later, she tore the tape covering
off the light switch, turned on the lights
and found that the entity was nonc
other than a naked Barham with a tur-
ban. Everybody shrieked and shut the
lights off quickly, and there was tremen-
dous upset over what she had done.
KUBLER-ROSS: This was a woman whose
greatest ambition was to become famous
with me and work with me. One day, I
decided that the greatest gift I could give
her was the experience of the darkroom.
She was a very, very uptight woman, but
that is none of my business and I have
never involved myself in the study of
sexuality or homosexuality. Well, she met
her guide and he made her aware of
some problems she had. She became very
upset, because he hit the nail on the
head. So she was out for revenge and
wanted to believe this was all a fraud.
When she switched the light on, it could
have killed the channel, Jay, who vas in
the next room. Or it makes him very sick
with vomiting for days. That's why cvery-
body was upset and why the entity just
bent down and covered his head from the
bright light. She was, of all the people
present, the only one who supposedly saw
Barham, who wasn't even in the room.
She kept switching it on and somebody
would switch it oft. "This was devastating
to me. She had this glorious messiah
complex that she was going to save me
from this fraud, when I wanted to share
with her what was the greatest gift of my
life. For 50 years, I have gone my own
path and certainly don’t need a jerk like
her with all her own hang-ups to tell me
what to do.

PLAYBOY: You were there during that
incident?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes, and I have the whole
thing on tape. After she was asked to
leave, every person in the room shared
the experience. Then Mario came and
dealt with our anguish and disappoint
ment.

PLAYBOY: We'd like to hear that tape.
KUBLER-ROSS: No. I want to keep those
things for my autobiography. If I give

everything away to you now, I might as
well forget writing my book. After that
incident, by the way, she wrote long
letters to my husband. And that is when
he started to turn away and thought 1
was hooked on some fraudulent group.
She is really responsible for my divorce.
PLAYBOY: Your claim that you're saving
your tapes for a book doesn't help your
credibility, but let's go on. Another seri-
ous charge was brought to the San Diego
D.A/'s office, involving a ten-year-old girl
who said an entity Jed her into a private
room and sexually molested her. What
about that?

KUBLER-ROSS: [Smiling] Oh, that I love to
talk about. Every Christmas, Mario comes
and allows the people to bring their
children. If you had spent an hour with
Mario and those children, you would
never forget it as long as you live. This
little girl sat next to me, a very old wise
soul, and she held my hand during the
whole evening. She whispered to me, “I
hope my guide comes for a few minutes
and the guide came and stood for a long
time silently. They are not allowed to
touch you and you are not allowed to
touch them without permission. That is
one of the universal laws. She said, “Is
that you?” and called him by name,
which I can't remember, He tapped her
on the head, which means yes. She asked
him if she could go visit with him in the
little private back room, and he put his
arms out to her and they left. About ten
minutes later, she came back and presed
my hand. She was the happiest little girl,
totally content.

PLAYBOY: Where did the story of sexual
molesting come from?

KUBLER-ROSS: Months later, when the
group defected and tried to destroy us,
the mother thought that would be the one
way to get even with us or with Jay.
What a humdinger accusation! What she
doesn’t know is that I have everything
on tape, everything the child said to me
before and after.

PLAYBOY: Would you let us hear that
tape?

KUBLER-ROSS: I have to find those things.
"They are all in the safe. Not now, but
when I get to those things.

PLAYBOY: To the degree that your cred-
ty has been severely damaged by
this scandal, it might be a good idea.
KUBLER-ROSS: Please don’t try to establish
ty. Because the truth will
prevail whether we talk for another 100
hours or not and whether PLAYBOY
readers believe me or not.

PLAYBOY: OK, then. If you don't care,
that's up to you. Have you ever seen an
entity that looked like Barham?
KUBLER-ROSS: No. Never. Some had features
of Jay, but looked like Jay, no.

PLAYBOY; What about the reports by
women who were asked by Barham to
pretend that they were spirit guides and
have sex with men participants? Specif-

ically, the woman who swore that she was
pretending—at Barham's command—to
be an entity for your dying patient
Louise?

KUBLER-ROSS; It's not true. 1 was there.
She really was the channel But when
you are in a trance, you can dream of
anything and really experience those
thing. I don't think she is lving de-
liberately; 1 don't want to believe that.
I think all those women who made that
silly claim were frightened that they
had gotten involved in something that
they had absolutely no control over. And
to alleviate their guilt, they confessed to
something that their minds had created.
You see, say I would be a female channel:
When I am in my trance, I have no idea
what the guides that were created out of
my tissue do in the other room. That is
a horrendous responsibility, and if you
have any fear that something goes on
that is fishy or dirty, you have to justify
this burden of responsibility. I can very
well understand that someone who has a
lot of his own unfinished business would
create a story like that, that they were
pretending to be guides.

PLAYBOY: Do you mean to say that all the
stories of sex between the entitics and
the participants are untrue?

KuBLER-ROSS: I don't have the slightest
idea if anybody had sex, if you mean
intercourse. I am sure the guides worked
with people on those problems.

PLAYBOY: You never saw it?

KUBLER-ROSS: [Agilated] Are you kidding?
No, I never saw that!
PLAYBOY: Why do you say it
so shocked?

KUBLER-ROSS: Do you actually believe that
the guide would have intercourse with
somebody? I mean, that is going a bit
too far. It is so inconceivable. But then,
I am coming from a prudish background.
PLAYBOY: Have you ever had sex with an
entity?

KUBLER-ROSS: No! As I told you before, I
have no doubts that they deal with sexual.
hang-ups. In what way they do that,
whether they talk about it or make the
person aware of where his frigidity or
uptightness comes from to help him, I
don't know. I just know they will help
you with anything that you need. My life
is totally work-oriented, so I get all the
help I need for my work. And nobody
witnesses the private visit of another
person.

PLAYBOY: Why did the whole group of
avid followers defect and turn against
you if those things weren't really hap-
pening?

KUBLER-ROSS: It was a very small group of
people who went totally the other way;
maybe 20 out of 200 became really de-
structive. A much bigger group just
stayed away and don't want to be
dragged into the negativity. But they
write us beautiful letters of һом much
growth there was. They're just—I want

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105

PLAYBOY

106

to say chicken; they kind of sit and wait
and see.

PLAYBOY: But why defect at all?
KUBLER-ROSS: The only reason people de-
fect and write dirty sex stories is because
they get very close to their own filth and
hang-ups. I must say in all fairness, if
you have any weak spots in you, the
guides put you through hell. You have
to be very strong to take it; they have no
mercy. You see, they are very, very hard
on you to do your own growth work.
And, by the way, they didn’t really turn
against me, they tried to destroy Jay
Barham.

PLAYBOY: Are you saying that the sole
explanation for all those stories, and all
the people who have given scalding
statements to the press about the shenan-
igans in the darkroom is that they were
too frightened by the confrontation of
their own hang-ups? Is that what you're
claiming?

KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. You see, you cannot be
offended if you have no fear or guilt.
But when things get too close to the
truth and you are very insulted about
this confrontation, the easiest way is to
destroy the people who make you aware
of that. Many of them actually believed
it was a fraud, because then they don’t
have to buy it. But everything is based
on fear.

PLAYBOY: What if the stories are true?
What would that mean to you?
KUBLER-ROSS: You would have to come
and explain to me how Mario can
materialize to me from the waist up, then
I will buy that this is not all a reality.
PLAYBOY: What if both are true? That
you have spirit guides who have ap-
peared to you and that Barham is a
charlatan who set this all up for his own
venal purposes?

KUBLER-ROSS: That is totally impossible.
The entities can never materialize if
there is negativity. And if people were
being misused sexually no Mario or
Anka could ever materialize. It is against
the universal laws. The only possi
is that none of this exists and our minds
are being manipulated by a universal
mind. OK? Say that was a fact. The
growth has been so positive for so many
people, the compassion is so beyond hu-
man understanding, I would be grateful
if Jay was such a genius to create such
love and compassion.

PLAYBOY: Do you have any tinge of fear
that you might be wrong? That Barham
might be a charlatan?

KUBLER-ROSS: No. 1 have gone through
many struggles and checked out every
experience I have had a thousand times,
But even if that were so, I would say I
have no regrets for the past three years.
Because what I have learned outweighs
all the agony and accusations. I can tell
you honestly I would do it all over again.
PLAYBOY: Could you have saved your
marriage if you had been willing to end
your relationship with the Barhams?

KUBLER-ROSS: Oh, instantly. But I
wouldn't I still have so much pain
about this. I still don't understand if you
follow what needs to be done, why the
price is so high. I am very much of a
mother hen; I love to feed and cook and
take care of people, and this isa horren-
dous adjustment for me.

PLAYBOY: It was reported that you said if
you found out that Barham were a
phony, you would have to commit sui-
cide.

KUBLER-ROSS: It was also reported that I
have cancer and that I am psychotic. It's
possible that I said that about suicide in
one of my angry moments, but I really
have no recollection.

PLAYBOY: Do you understand how truly
puzzling this is? You have done signifi-
cant work, made a contribution to
science. Yet this incomprehensible saga
of spirit guides suggests one of four
possibilities: First, that everything you
are saying is true and the rest of us need
to expand our minds to embrace it all:
second, that you have gone crazy; third,
that you yourself are a fraud; and,
fourth—the thing that most of the
people who know you believe—that you
have been taken in by this strange team
of charlatans who are out to soak you.
Did we leave out any possibilities?
KUELER-ROSS: There are 4,000,000 possi-
bilities, but there is a very simple way of
verifying whether Jay is phony-baloney.
PLAYBOY: What way is that?

KUBLER-ROSS: Look at the patient we had
here, as my house guest for three months.
She was a broken woman when she came.
She had had epileptic seizures for nine
years. Her husband was dead, her child
taken away because she couldn't care for
it; she never slept for more than a half
hour at a time. For nine years, she had a
catastrophic existence, running from
doctors to hospitals to institutions for
more tests. For three months, Jay worked
with her, together with a physician and
my support. Through psychic energy
alone, we sealed off her brain lesions and
made an orifice to discharge the energy
from the lesions, attached it to the car-
bon dioxide in the blood vessels, so that.
she could exhale it through her respira-
tion. She is working now full time as a
nurse and lives a normal life. You see,
Jay is the healer and I am the catalyst.
for his work.

PLAYBOY: So you say that if he is capable
of performing miraculous healings, he
couldn't be capable of those other
charges?

KUBLER-ROSS: Of course. This man helps
more people than you can ever imagine.
A bad person who spends his energy on
fraud would never be able to do such
good work. If you see the rest of the
workshops that we do together, you
could never question his motivations. I
know that our work is good, and that is
all I need to know.

PLAYBOY: That may not be enough for
most people—even those who wish you
well. What are your emotional outlets?
What do you do to free yourself of all
the bitterness you talk about?
KUBLER-ROSS: When I am really at the
point of despair, I usually call on Mario
and cry for a couple of hours or bitch or
just share all the unfairness. Or I work
in my garden—two acres of land. If I am
in the mountains, I like to hike and
climb.
PLAYBOY: How about friends?
KUBLER-ROSS: I am alone now. I do not
share my private pains with many
people. That is true of only the last
couple of years, because I was so disap-
pointed in the ones I counted on the
most, people whom I loved uncondition-
ally who proved that they loved me,
but .. . or if I would sever my communi-
cations with those people. They said Га
be better off to just forget my work now
and continue on as I did ten years ago.
That to me is not a friend. To put it
bluntly, I cannot even have an affair
with anybody. No matter how much I
would need that.
PLAYBOY: Why not?
KUBLER-ROSS: Because I would never know
if a magazine would come six months
later and offer that guy $50,000 for a
dirty story and if he was angry with me
at the time, he would tell them about my
behavior. 1 could never do that. That
would really destroy my work. Anything
I say or do, how I dress or how much I
smoke, a few months later, it is some-
where in a magazine, usually distorted.
It's very unfair. But it is also very
necessary and that is why I can take it.
With all the negative publicity, there are
1,000,000 people now who know of
Shanti Nilaya who didn’t before. Some-
thing in the stories—even the distorted
ones—touches a lot of them and they
connect with us, writing pleas for help.
So it is also a degree of free publicity.
But, as I told you, when all this nega-
tivity in the world doesn’t need to exist
anymore, then my whole work will be
unnecessary and finished.
PLAYBOY: Do you think you will accom-
plish your task before you die?
KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. Absolutely.
PLAYBOY: And you won't die before that
happens? Until you do what you were
put here to do?
KUBLER-ROSS: That's right. I am very clear
about that.
PLAYBOY: Do you look forward to your
own death?
KUBLER-ROSS: Oh, yes. "Then I will have the
knowledge that I've finished my job and
I can retire.
PLAYBOY: By retire do you actually mean
die?
KUBLER-ROSS: Yes. I will not retire unless
I die. Then I will finally be taken care
of and pampered,

The sort of man who wants to do whatever he does as well as he can—and have fun
at it. He is as much at home fishing under a big sky as he is in a chic restaurant.
He is productive in any setting. He plans, but he isn't a slave to ritual; there is a keen
Sense of adventure that keeps him on the move. As a PLAYBOY reader, he responds
to the advice the magazine provides, advice that makes him a winning competitor.

brother bubba really did sound exactly like elvis. and now
that the king was dead, bubba had a chance at the crown

fiction By WILLIAM HAUPTMAN the year Elvis died

was a strange year, and I remember it not only becausc of what happened
to my brother, Bubba, but because that was the year we had our first
transsexual here in north Texas, Bobby Joe Pitts, who worked Гог Builders
Supply, told the wife and kids he still loved them, but he couldn't stand it
any longer: He'd always felt like a woman in a man’s body and wanted to
go to Houston for a sex-change operation.

He'd been saving money for years in а secret account and was all ready
to go through with it. But the doctor in Houston was cautious. He told
Bobby Joe he should try wearing women’s clothes for six months before the
operation, since there would be no going back. So Bobby Joe came to our
church, First Methodist, looking something like Mary Tyler Moore. His

PLAYBOY

110

family took it hard. The preacher sug-
gested, after the services, that he go to
the Unitarian Church instead,
took homosexuals and drug ad.
by Joe stormed out, saying we were hypo-
crites and had по t of Christian love.

"The first nice day rolled around, he
was out at Skyline Country Club, just
е every other year, for his 18 holes of
Saturday-morning golf. Harley Otis told
me when I walked into the locker room.
Said Bobby Joe expected to play in the
dub tournament, but against the women.
Harley was disgusted. “I guess it had to
happen here,” he said, snorting and
throwing his shoes all the way across the
room, where they hit the big picture of
Arnold Palmer on the locker-room wall.

1 felt sorry for Bobby Joe and went
out to where he was tecing off alone. He
said he was no different from that doctor
о became a lady tennis pro. “They're
just threatened," he said primly. About
that time, Harley drove past in his elec
tric cart and shouted out, asking Bobby
Joe if he was for the E.R.A. Bobby Joe
shot him the finger.

That night, I sat on my patio, drink-
ing Jack Daniel's and looking up at the
stars. Through the sliding glass doors, I
could see my wife watching her favorite
program. Hell, I could see Bobby Joe's
point of view. I might like being a
woman myself if 1 looked like Mary Tyler
Moore. Trouble was, I wouldn't; and
neither would Bobby Joe. I doubted any
amount of plastic surgery could do the
trick. My wife, alone there in the den,
laughed at something on television, and
1 felt like a ghost. І decided the world
was changing so fast nobody could keep
up with it.

I'm a doctor myself, obstetrics and
gynecology, and I've got a little office
across the street from the hospital. Who
should come see me the next day but my
old high school sweetheart, Nadine
MacAfee, whom I'd seen no more than
two or three times in all the years since
graduation, But my heart still stopped
when I saw her there in the reception
room.

In iny office, she told me she'd like to
get off the pill and try some other form
of contraception. She dropped hints
about her loneliness and talked nostal-
gically about the days when we'd gone
steady; and I soon realized she was look-
ing for romance, I was so nervous I
thought I was going to stammer for the
first time in years, and resorted to a trick
the speech therapist had taught me: flip-
ping my pencil up and catching it, not
thinking too much about what I was
saying.

"Look, Nadine,” I said finally, “if it's
all the same, I'd rather not examine you.
But I can recommend another doctor.’

“That's all right, Ross," she said.
understand."

She had once been so shy. and this was
a pretty bold thing for her to do. But I
had never gone all the way with Nadine
high school and I wasn't about to
now. I wanted to keep her the way she
was in my memory—full of innocence
and mystery. So I took out the bottle I
keep in my desk drawer, we had a drink
and I got her talking about her kids,
my pencil flipping just like old Johnny
Carson's.

When I showed her out, my brother,
Bubba, who was a big wheel with the
Prudential Insurance Company, was sit-
ting in the reception room with a long
face on. When I asked him what was
wrong, he told me Elvis had died and
we had to celebrate his passing away.
“The King is gone,” he said, “and no-
body will ever replace him.” I sent the
test of my patients home.

1 hadn't known Elvis was so important
to my brother, but then, I really didn't
know Bubba anymore. We played golf
now and then, but our wives hated each
other, which seems to be the rule, not
the exception; so we never saw each
other socially, not at all.

We drove out to a bar in the new
shopping mall, where neither of us had
ever been. Thank God It’s Friday's it
called, and I think it was supposed
to look like Greenwich Village.

“What the hell has happened here?”
my brother said.

“How do you mean, Bubba?”

“What's happened to this town? Why
is everyone pretending they're in New
York City?”

“1 don't know, Bubba; I guess it's
television."

То me, the whole shopping mall was а
depressing place. Nobody had been able
to rest until we got one, just like every
other town. There must have been a
thousand editorials in the paper about
On the way in, we'd passed droves of
sad-looking teenagers hanging out
around the fountain, and I'd thought
how much happier we looked out at the
Pioneer Drive-In, in our cars. But every-
one was proud of the mall as they could
be, and who was wrong, them or me?

Harley Otis was there, right in the
thick of it, wearing polyester pants,
white loafers with gold chains, a leather
jacket and a Dacron shirt with the collar
spread out on his shoulders. There was
also a little gold chain around his neck.

“Who you tryin’ to look like, Harley?"
my brother asked. “The Six Million
Dollar Man?"

Harley took it as a compliment and
started telling us how he'd just gotten
back from a Successful Life course in
Dallas where he'd learned the impor-
tance of a Positive Mental Attitude.
"You've got to set goals for yourself,"
he e
"What's your goal, Harley?”

“Right now, I'm buckin' for president
of Kiwanis. But my immediate goal is to
get into Tina Eubank's pants.”

I looked over and there was Tina,
twice divorced, standing by the jukebox.
it didn't look like he'd have too much
trouble. “Y'all have a пісе day,” Harley
said, and slid toward her.

"Then we drove out the Fort Worth
Highway, my brother talking about
everything he hated, from womens
lib to People magazine. I hadn't scen
him like this for years. There had been
a time, when 1 was in med school and
my brother driving a truck, when he
developed all sorts of theories about why
this country was going to pieces. He also
claimed to have seen UFOs and talked
to them on his C.B. I finally diagnosed
the problem when I discovered he was
taking “L.A. turnarounds"—those bi-
phetamine capsules truckers use on long
hauls. Once he started working for the
Prudential, he settled down and that
side of him disappeared.

But now he was driving too fast and
talking crazy, like he used to; looking
around at everything and not liking
what he saw. Just then, I heard a siren
and saw flashing blue lights and a high-
way-patrol car pulled us over.

It was Floyd Beer, whom I hadn't seen
in maybe 15 years. "Could I sec your
operator's license?” he asked, all business,
holding his metal clip board.

“It's Bubba Moody, Floyd.”

"You were exceeding a posted speed
of filty-five miles per hour, and it
looks to me like you got alcoholic bev-
crages in the car.

"Floyd, don't you remember? We took
shop together

“Yeah, I remember. But shitfire, Bub-
ba, you were driving like a bat."

"Floyd, Elvis died today."

“I hear:

“My brother and I are drinking to his
memory. Don't give me the cold shou
der, Floyd. Have a drink with us and
let's remember all the good and bad old
days.”

“Well, I do get off duty in half an
hour," Floyd said, looking across the car
at me and grinning. “That really you,
Rossi

‘Then the three of us went out to the
old colored man’s place. It was my broth-
ers idea. You could have knocked me
over with a stick when I saw it was still
there, the little red-brick building with
the sign that said, нот PIT COOKED BAR-
B-QUE.

The old colored man himself, who was
coffee-colored and had a pencil mustache
(Fats Domino, we had called him),
opened the counterweighted lid of the
stove. Inside was at least a chine of beef.
He cut off slabs and put them on bread.
Then he added half a green onion and

nything foolish!”

-. don't doar

Td.

"Please, Howa

PLAYBOY

a wedge of longhorn cheese and wrapped
it all in butcher paper.

We carried out sandwiches to a table
and the other custorners, all colored
(black, I corrected myself) sort of
looked at us without looking at us, for
Floyd still wore his highway-patrol u
form; then got up and left, dropping
their trash in the garbage can on the
way out.

"See, big brother?" Bubba said.
past is still here, all around us."

І couldn't take my eyes off my sand-
wich. It sat there on the tabletop, which
was bare except for a Louisiana” Hot.
Sauce bottle full of toothpicks. Grease
spotted the butcher paper. I took a bite
and it ran down my chin. Lord, it was
good.

Bubba returned from the cooler with
three bottles of Royal Crown Cola, the
old-style bottles with the yellow pyramids
on them. “Look at that,” he said softly,
staring at his bottle. “Would you look at
that?” Then he drank it.

“What are you up for, Floyd?” he said.

“My wife's going to be wondering
where I am,” Floyd said, and when Bub-
ba gave him a sour look, added, "Shitfire,
Bubba, there's a good program on to-
night. About Vince Lombardi.

I nodded. "My wife's not home. To-
night's her yoga class. Y'all could come
over and watch it" What was I saying
y'all for? I hadn't said y'all in years.

"What's so important about Vince
Lombardi? Bubba said. "You never
knew him. A night like this comes once
in a lifetime, and tonight the three of us
are going to the Cotton Bowling Palace.

So we drove on down to the long, low
building on Holiday Crcek, full of the
odor of paste wax and the thunder of
balls; and the same people were there
who had always been there, roughnecks
and refinery workers and railroad brake-
men. L was clumsy at first, dropping the
ball on the lane with a thud; but Bubba.
was greasing them in right off. We didn't
bother to keep score. None of us could
remember how. We just bowled, and 1
relaxed, for by now the evening was lost,
anyway, watching Bubba cut up, bowling.
like Don Carter, and so forth. He could
always impersonate anyone he wanted.
Mom said his version of me was deadly.
When һе came over and dropped down
beside me in one of the green-plastic
chairs, 1 felt a stab of brotherhood and
socked him on the arm, the way 1 would
have in the okl days.

“Hey, Bubba," I said. "
a biteh

“You're not sorry you're not home
watching the life of old Vince Lom-
Бага

"No, Bubba. I genuinely enjoyed this
nigh:

“Life is a road.”

“Yes, Bubba. Life is a road.” I waited

‘The

‘ou old son of

for him to finish. so drunk the bowling
balls sounded like they were rolling
through my head.

“Once I thought I knew who I was and
where I was going. I could sce the road
ahead. But I lost my wa

Floyd was out on the lane, yelling. A
pin had fallen outside the gate, and
when nobody appeared to help, he
walked up the lane, slipping and falling
down, and got it himself. People were
laughing at him.

"There was only one person of our
time who never stopped. Who became
the person he dreamed of becoming.”

"Who's that?”

“Elvis,” my brother said.

Do you know what he did then? He
stepped up to the booth where you got
your shoes and where they called your
mumber when your lane was ready. He
grabbed the microphone away from the
fat lady who was sitting there and sang
Love Me Tender to her. It started as a
joke, but this was the day Elvis had died,
and when he finished, the place was dead
quiet. Then everyone applauded and
started shouting, “More, more,” and 1
was shouting, too. And he did sound
exactly like Elvis, although 1 never
thought he looked like him at all. 1
thought he looked more like Conway
Twitty.

One year later to the day, 1 was riding
down highway 281 in a white Cadillac
Eldorado. The oil-well pumping jacks
nodded in the fields, the blacktop shim-
mered in the heat, and in the front seat
was my brother Bubba, wearing a white
jump suit with silver studs, his hair dyed
black. The sign on the side of the car
read:

EL TEX AS
BUBBA MOODY KING OF ROCK AND ROLL
NORTH TEXAS’ OWN ELVIS

Floyd Becr was driving, wearing Las
Vegas shades and the Robert Hall suit
Bubba had bought him at the Hub
Clothing Store.

Bubba had done better than I would
have believed, perfecting his act at
Kiwanis and Rotary dances. He'd also
done benefits for the crippled and re-
tarded children, which people liked, and
borrowed enough money to lease this
Eldorado just like the one Elvis had.
Now we were on our way to the first
stop on Bubba's summer tour, which was
to end at Flags Over Texas. There
was to be a convention of Elvis Presley
impersonators and Bubba intended to
prove he was the best in the world.

“This is the life, isn’t it?” he said,
looking back at me and grinning. “Man,
sometimes I feel so good I've got to go
out and take a walk through K mart to
bring myself down."

We stopped at the Cow Lot in Nocona,

where Bubba bought a pair of ostrich-
hide boots and gave the owner an 8 x 10
autographed glossy photo, which he
thumbtacked on the wall next to the
photos of Willie Nelson, Arthur God-
frey, Howard Hughes and all the other
celebrities who, down through the years,
had bought Nocona boots.

When we got back in the car, Bubba
said, “Floyd, I think I’m going to ask you
to dye your hair red so I can call you
Red West.” That was Elvis’ bodyguard.
Bubba really wanted to make the act
authentic.

We came to a billboard that said we
were cight miles from Decatur, home of
Dico Sausage, and showed a pair of roll-
ing dice. "Pull over, Floyd," Bubba said.

He struck a karate pose in front of the
billboard and Floyd took his picture with.
the Polaroid Swinger. I was getting back
in the car when I heard a buzz just like
an clectric alarm clock going off.

“Christ, Bubba, what the hell you do-
ing?” Floyd said. Bubba had picked up a
baby rattlesnake out of the ditch and was
making like he was going to kiss it, hold-
ing it inches away from his lips.

"Get a picture, get a picture" he
shouted, laughing like an idiot.

We drove on through more north
Texas and finally into Decatur, where a
banner across the strect proclaimed
Bubba's show. “The King is here,” my
brother said.

Floyd parked and we walked into the
high school, across the street from the
red-granite courthouse. The band was al-
ready setting up. Down in the dressing
room, Bubba put on his makc-up and I
sat on a box of textbooks in the corner
and watched. Already you could hear
ople filling the auditorium upsi
jounds like a good crowd," Bubba
gluing on his fake sideburns.

Then a local disc jockey appeared with
a tape recorder and Miss Billie Tucker,
president of Bubba's north Texas fan
dub. She'd brought along a list she'd
compiled of characteristics Bubba and
Elvis had in common. The disc jockey
held up his microphone and she read it,
perspiration on her upper lip.

"Both Elvis and Bubba are Capri.
corns," she said. "Both were truck driv-
ers, both stationed with the Army in
Germany, and both were devoted to
their mothers. Both are overweight, both
like Cadillac Eldorados and both like to
stay up all night. Both have fantastic
sex appeal. .. ."

Good Lord, I thought. These people
are serious.

Upstairs, I found myself in an ordi
nary high school auditorium. There were
flags of the United States and Texas on
cither side of the stage. The ceiling was
high, yellowish globes shedding down
a dim light. Probably the Pledge of

(continued on page 144)

WORLD
CLASS

gabriella brum, miss west germany,
took the crown—then said,
“stop miss world, i wanna get off!”

IN LONDON, the moment had соте. The judges had
decided. Anticipation swept the crowd as it waited to
hear who the new Miss World would be. The envelope
was opened, the contestants held their collective
breath—the winner was . . . Miss West Germany!
Gabriella Brum could not believe her ears. There were
cheers and tears as the new Miss World took center

n e the crown and bi the endless walk
iy of fame, In t of all the

PHO PHX BY SEBASTIAN GIEFER

113

It really takes a lot to improve on the scenery of
Jamoica, but during this recent location shooting, the
ex-Miss World gave the Caribbean island some recl
competition. Gabriella abdicated in favor af her per-
sonal life and her love for a man nearly three times
her age. She says, “I never thought things could ga
so well with someone af his age, but they do.”

LÀ

Newspaper accounts gave her 52-year-old boyfriend's “grumbling”
as the reason Gabriella gave up the crown, but she says it was
her own decision. “He was unhappy because I would have had to live
in London for a year, but on the other hand, he was proud." Wasn't
he a little jealous? “Perhaps, but jealousy doesn’t bother me
if its not foo much. It’s nice to know the other person cares."

| om —
а ner ed only^a year

fantasy romance епа поло аса She; Te roncommiftal

ILLUSTRATION BY CHARLES SHIELOS

it tells you

what to eat, what

movie lo see,

how much you

Should weigh and
whom to marr

it’s either your

mother or

your new home

computer speaking

GUERRILLA

GUIDE TO THE
COMPUTER REVOLUTION

article By ROBERT Е. CARR suc wants over and they have won. The large-
scale invasion everyone had feared was accomplished with very litle difficulty. In fact, they had
our full and enthusiastic cooperation. Now it's too late. The computer people are in control.
Don't look so innocent, you filthy collaborator! When you were first contacted, you could
have given just name, rank and serial number. But no, you had to elaborate. You told them
where you lived, how many kids you had, what your favorite TV show was, what your test
scores were in high school. Face it; you gave them your authorized biography and a complete

PLAYBOY

122

psychological profile.

That was the first wave. The informa-
tion gathering. The reconnaissance. You
went along because that was the system.
Help them so they could help you.
You did want that loan, didn't you?
You did want to go to college. And you
couldn't have done without all that
insurance, could you? How could you
have known back then that, in the
Eighties, the most valuable commodity
would not be gold or oil or even food—
it would be information? Pure, raw
knowledge. By the time you found that
out, it was too late. And the informa-
tion, our lifeblood, had been hidden
away, stored in computer memory banks.
They had access, you didn't. The coup
had begun. It was now time to launch
the second wave. That came in 1974.

You probably recall that attack. The
computer people sent out thousands of
drones. They were so small and harm-
leslooking that everybody welcomed
them into their homes. Disguised as pock-
et calculators, these drones swept the na-
tion—and the world. They hit us where
it hurt the most—in our basic laziness.
Like some sinister narcotic released in
the water supply, they created a d
pendence in young and old. By the
second year of their occupation, there
were few among us who would even
attempt long division anymore without
their aid.

The success of the second wave was all
that was needed. The computer people
were encouraged. If the little drones
encountered no resistance, who would
be tough enough to withstand the on-
slaught of their big guns? So it was that
the computer people constructed the
Altair 8800, destined to be the most
devastating weapon in the arsenal of
drones, the first home computer. Home
computer. Say it to yourself. It almost
has a ring of respectability. Like family
car. "Put one of these babies in your
house and you got Fat City, son," they
told us. "It's just а machine slave,
really. It'll do all those menial tasks
you wouldnt dirty your hands with.
Don't you understand, I'm talking Easy
Street?”

We didn’t understand, but some of us
bought the line—as well as one of the
computers that succeeded the 8800. Now
there are about 550,000 of them in our
homes and businesses, and the number is
growing. Even so, that half million or so
represcats the end of life as we knew it.
‘Things are going to be radically different
from here on. The computer people have
us by the short hairs and they're not go-
ig to let go, not till every onc of us is
paired with a drone. The only thing left
to do is to start some sort of under-
ground, a guerrilla force of concerned.
people. We've got to learn everything

we can about these drones in order not
to be their drones. Starting yesterday.
.

Learning about computers isn’t easy,
because neither the computer people nor
the drones speak English. Home com-
puters speak BASIC, which isn't English.
The computer people speak a dialect
known as Acronym. It sounds like Eng-
lish but is peppered with unintelligible
gibberish. A typical exchange might go:
How much RAM and ROM in your

Eight K in ROM, sixteen K in RAM,
expandable, of course.

While a good deal of information is
contained in that conversation, there
re few people outside Silicon Valley,
California, who could decipher it. Silicon
Valley is ground zero in the computer
explosion. It's located in Santa Clara
County and contains one of the major
complexes of computer manufacturing.
Sort of a Stonehenge for the worship of
the microprocessor chip. To understand
computers, you must understand micro-
processors. Luckily, they are very simple
devices.

A miqoprocessor is а quarter-inch-
square slice of silicon containing up-
wards of 20,000 transistors. Each is cither
a conductor or a nonconductor. That
means, at any given time, some of them
are off and some of them are on. In
a happy coincidence, this on-off, positive-
negative configuration corresponds to
the binary system, 2 way of writing
numbers using only two digits, 1 and
0. For example, seven in the binary
system would read 0111, 50 would be
110010. Thus, it’s possible to record num-
bers on a microprocessor chip simply by
leaving some transistors on and some off.
Those are the kind of chips in your
pocket calculator. For a computer that
reads words, you have to go a step fur-
ther. You need the system for writing let-
ters in the binary system. That is known
as the American Standard Code for In-
formation Interchange (ASCII). It gives
every letter in the alphabet a binary
counterpart of seven digits; A becomes
1000001, B becomes 1000010, and so on.
ASCH (Asskey) also includes counter-
parts for things such as # and &, as well
as codes for basic computer instructions.

You can probably deduce one com-
puter problem already. Even with 20,000
transistors to the quarter inch, using the
binary ASCH code, you can just about
fill up a chip with your name and ad
dress. The amount of space available in
a computer's chips, therefore, is what de-
termines its over-all power.

The unit of space needed to store one
binary digit, 2 1 or a 0, on a chip is
called a bit, which is a short form of
Binary digiT. Eight bits amounts to a
byte; 1024 bytes equal a kilobyte. Kilo-

bytes are abbreviated as K. The quantity
K is the power or capacity of a com-
puter, You can store about a page of
text in one kilobyte. If your computer
has a power of, say, 32K (which is, in fact,
a good amount), that's only 32 pages. Ob-
viously, that's unacceptable. So most of
à computer's resident capacity (memory)
is used for basic information storage.
Those are of two fundamental types:
Read Only Memory (ROM), which
amounts to а permanent memory; and
Random Access Memory (RAM), which
is changeable, or, in the language of
computers, programmable. For more
bytes, you simply use additional storage
systems.

Currently, two kinds of outside storage
systems are in use in home computers.
The first is ordinary cassette tape. Bits
of information can be stored on the tape
as clectrical impulses and read by the
computer just as they are read by a
tape player. In the case of cassettes, how-
ever, the computer is a pretty slow read-
er. In the fastest mode, it would take a
computer 15 seconds to read a tape. In
the high-speed world of computers, that's
about walking speed. To: really fly, you
need floppy discs, five- to eight-inch
circles of Mylar plastic coated with a
magnetic substance similar to that on
tape. Those discs, like 45-rpm records,
are used with a turntablelike device
called a disc drive. A floppy disc can
hold from 90,000 to 500,000 bytes. It
can be read by the disc drive at a rate
of about 100,000 bytes per second, com-
pared with the fastest cassette time of
about 540 bytes per second.

What that boils down to is: Take a
microprocessor, turn some transistors on
and some off with a typewriterlike key-
board, add a TV screen, so you can see
what you've done, and—voilé!—you have
a computer. In fact, knowing what you
now know, you can already decipher
the conversation between the computer
people mentioned earlier (that is, once
you know that PET is short for Person-
al Electronic Transactor, the newspeak
name for a brand of home computer).

Now comes the fun part—getting the
computer to do what you want it to do.
Anybody who tells you computers are
smart machines has been chewing yo-
himbé bark. They are categorically,
pragmatically dumb, They will do only
what you tell them to do and only if
you say please. While they, as yet, have
no feelings, they do have a personality.
That personality is most like that of а
goat or a mule. You have not known
frustration or impatience until you try
to deal with a computer.

For а good look at computer mental-

ity, you have only to try onc of the
(continued on page 126)

our popeyed hero may get no respect,
but the same can't be said for his neckwear

"I don't get no respect," says Rodney Dangerfield.
“PLAYBOY asks me to be in a layout and all the models

are dressed." We asked Rodney to model neckties for us
because, over the years, ties have become his trademark—
when performing, he always sports a thin, red one that,
more often than not, scems to be choking him. Put a
spiffy designer tie on a klutzy comic and what have you
got? A klutzy comic іп a spiffy designer tie.

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finer NEY DANGERFIELD
» TIES ONE ON

don't get no respect. Last night, my tie caught
on fire and the waiter put й out with an ax.“

Here, Rodney sports an abstract-print polyester tie, by
Vicky Davis, $12.50. Notice how the red di matches
the red design of Rodney's eyeballs. Notice elasticity
of the fabric. Notice the elasticity of Rodney's neck. This
one's a real attention getter—perfect for necktie porties.

he way these girls took me over, I shoulda gone
with a hooker. You know what a hooker is?
Thot's a girl who can't whistle while she works.”

Right: This versatile striped silk tie, by Resilio, $18.50, is perfect
for gambling, becouse when you lose your shirt, as Rodney is doing,
the tie will still go very nicely with the colors of your chest.

m too old for this. At my age, if | squeeze
into а parking space, I'm sexuolly sotisfied.”

Far right: What could be more oppropriate for lounging oround
with two femole admirers thon this knit neckpiece, by Calvin Klein,
$13.50? Pojomos? Nothing? Rodney believes in being dressed
for every occosion—even those that call for not being dressed.

'hey're probably looking for a guy
with a bigger putter.”

Above: Rodney's golf game and attire have improved considerobly
since Caddyshack. This silk tie, from Chops by Ralph Lauren,
$13.50, really makes him stand out on the golf course. Unfortu-
nately, he’s been standing out on the golf course for about six hours.

| fell ya, 1 had a terrible time that ni,
that bathtub. I lost four of my best ships!"

Right: This paisley-figured silk tie, from Chaps by Ralph Lauren,
$17.50, is ideal for all black-tie underwater activities—everything
from snorkeling to underwater golf. Rodney hes singlehandedly

set the style for this activity, since he’s the only participant.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI

PLAYBOY

COMPUTER REVOLUTION

(continued from page 122)

“The home computer, at its worst, was meant to be the
center of our lives, our link to the outside world.”

many electronic games that have ap-
peared since the development of the
microprocessor. These games are escort
drones the computer people sent out to
entice you to accept the larger, more ob-
noxious scourge of the home computer.

In a fit of collaborationist fervor, 1
allowed one of those to come into my
house. It calls itself, with по modesty
at all, the Chess Challenger. It's made
by an outfit courageously named Fideli-
ty Electronics. The particular model I
have is the Sensory Chess Challenger;
you move a piece from square to square
and sensors below the board record the
move. Then the machine analyzes the
position and shows you its move via a
small light on each square, You must
then move the machine's piece to the des-
ignated square. (A similar chess-playing
drone called Boris Handroid actually has
one of those science-fiction robot arms
that moves its pieces, but that's a little
overdesigned for my taste) The Chal-
lenger has eight levels of play, ranging
from beginner to the chess equivalent of
hara-kiri. You can tell a lot about a per-
son by the way he plays a game. Watch
a golfer miss a two-inch putt and you'll
get a good idea of how he'll handle any
isis situation. Chess, because it is a
"pure" game, with no chance involved,
and because it is easily reduced to simple
logic. is the perfect game for learning
how computers handle problems and
how уон may react to computers.

My own reactions ranged from furor
to rage. When the drone arrived, I sat
for several hours playing game after
game. I was enthralled. The machine
not only played a good game, it played
a perfect game. I lost, constantly. Now,
chess is a game that taxes ego as well as
intellect, physical stamina as well as
mental endurance. In a top-level game
between grand masters, the defeated
party is often physically exhausted,
mentally drained and humiliated just
short of suicide. But at least he was
Deaten by the better man, not by a box
of chips and wires. I am по grand
master, but the stakes are the same. To
add insult to injury, I was playing at
level one, the sandbox level. It didn’t
take me long to realize why I was los-
ing. I was playing casual, friendly chess;
the machine was playing hardball, by
the book. I'd make what I thought was
a devastating, intimidating move. The
machine would sit there coolly, blink-
g the little light that says it's “think-

126 ing,” and when it had analyzed the

board and all possible combinations,
would make the perfect move for that
situation. Crunch! Pow! I began to
think of my opponent in such terms as
sadistic, mean and ruthless. Now we
were getting somewhere. Mentally, I
took off the gloves. I, too, can be
sadistic, mean and ruthless. I can also
play by the book. Two days and 30-odd
games later, I whupped the sucker at
level eight. It was beautiful. It was or-
gasmic. It was the ultimate triumph of
ınan over machine. It was 4:30 A.M.

When you beat the Challenger, in
humble acknowledgment of its defeat, it
flashes all 64 lights on its sensor board.
І must have sat watching that joyous
display in those early-morning hours for
a good 15 minutes before shutting it off.
And thats when 1 learned the truth
about the machine: It was brutally
logical and cold as a handshake at the
door. It was neither mentally nor phys-
ically exhausted as I was. It had no
feelings, so it was certainly not humili-
ated. The damn thing did not even care
that it had lost! My glorious triumph
was unceremoniously erased by the press-
ing of the RESET button.

Granted, my reaction to a simple
machine may be considered by some to
be irrational, I plead guilty. То multi-
ple offenses. I admit I have been known
to kick a vending machine or two when
it steals my quarter. I pound on the
steering wheel when my car won't start.
And I once had a tclevision set that, 1
swear, would not work properly without
a good shot just to the leít of its chan-
nel selector. Maybe you don't know
what I'm talking about. Maybe things
work for you. So send yourself a Candy-
gram.

If, on the other hand, you under-
stand, as I do, that machinery in gen-
eral is usually awkward, bothersome,
inefficient and the spawning ground for
untold evil, then surely you will ap-
preciate the grim prospects in store for
a machine that can "think." For those
of us the know, the idea of having
one in our home is a fate worse than a
tax audit. Besides, this is not just any
machine we're talking about. Microproc-
essors were developed only ten years
ago; home computers, only six years
ago. By 1985, the scers tell us, 20 per-
cent of all American homes will have
some kind of microprocessing unit in
them. The sheer speed at which this
juggernaut is moving and its potential
power in our society are enough to send

waves of insecurity, even paranoia,
through the strongest of us.

The phenomenon is not like the ad-
vent of the car or the television set.
Those were merely adjuncts to our lives.
The home computer, at its worst, was
meant to be the center of our lives, our
friend, our helper and our link to the
outside world.

The raw material for microprocessor
chips is sand. Not counting what the
Arabs are currently hoarding, we have
a supply adequate for the next few
centuries, at least.

It would appear, then, that the odds
are in favor of the computer people.
But before they can complete their take-
over, they're going to need something
further from us. Our money. That's
going to be a little hard to get with
their present offerings. The much-her-
alded drones are simply far too com-
plicated for casual use. You've got to
really want to use one to put up with
the complexity of the most simple pro-
grams.

Part of the problem is that the pro-
totypes were originally designed by
computer people for computer pcople.
Nobody really bothered to retool for the
common folk. Computer people are a
weird lot. First off, they're puzzle junk-
ies by vocation and, in most cases, by
avocation as well. They get off on com-
plexity, while the rest of us crave sim-
plicity. They're also pretty whimsical.
There is little attempt made to stand-
ardize computer manufacturing. Each
manufacturer has his own idea of what
one should look like and how it should
operate. If some jokester decides that
it would be nice to have a bud vase
built into the central processing unit,
all subsequent machines from that mak-
er will have one. And it’s up to you to
pluck the daisies for it.

That fact has not escaped the atten-
tion of the computer people, however.
"That's why current marketing practices
include selling the sizle and not the
steak. The sizzle in this case is computer
games. Everybody has them. Most have
what amounts to an electronic penny
arcade. The idea is: Suck them in with
the games and later they'll learn how to
do real work with the machines. Truth
is, few of us can resist a rip-snorting,
buzzwhir electronic pinball package.
And by the time the infiltrator is un-
masked, you've plunked down a couple
of grand for a baby sitter. So forget the
games and let's look at a bona fide,
no-nonsense drone:

The Commodore PET 2001 is such a
machine. It's a top-of-the-line, state-of
the-art home computer. There аге sim-
pler computers; there are more inyolved
models, too. But the PET is typical of

(continued on page 197)

5
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1
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кте,

“Show me a teetotaler and I'll show you а
man who's never used his liver."

127

ETS TALK about the fu-
ture,” says Gina Gold-
berg, nee Virenius. "My
past has just been too de-
Born in the seaport
inland's third larg-
as raised by her
"It was an un-
а childhood" is all
carcs to offer on that subject
16, she moved to Helsinki to
seck her fortune—but wasn't
thrilled by the job she landed
аз a supermarket clerk. “I lasted
about six months," she says,
"and then moved on to Stock-
holm.” T here—and subsequent-
ly in several other Europea
cities—she dished up Big Macs
at McDonald's. She lived in
Hamburg, Munich, Athens—

Gina poses in front of a

Hollywood Boulevard store

that specializes in old movie

stills and posters, “Don’t get

the impression I’m intere ested
in marrying a millionaire
she says. “I’m not:

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG

where she joined a Swedish dance company—London and Paris,
where she became ап au pair girl for an American family and
studied at the Sorbonne. At the end of six months, the family she
was working for went back to the States. “Since I'd heard so many
good things about America, I decided to go there myself. It was
summer and New York was hot and rainy,” she says, “and I was all
alone. І decided I needed some sunshine, so I took a Greyhound
from New York to L.A. What a trip! J spent nearly a week on the
bus.” Arriving in downtown Los Angeles, she went directly to
Hollywood, expecting glitter and stardust. What she found was a
creep following her down the boulevard. “J was really scared, so I
jumped into the first cab I saw, which turned out to be a lucky

“Actually, 1 was named Tina. But I’ve always preferred to
call myself Gina, because I think it’s amore exciting name.
Tina just doesn’t have any bounce, and I need bounce. I
plan to spend the rest of my life as an independent woman."

“What do I do in my spare time? Read, read, read. Even as a child, I would
devour books, mostly self-help and educational bot
psychology, science, language. My latest kick is business administration.”

break, because the driver was very
nice and helped me locate a place
to stay." Her luck continued to im-
prove. She found her own place,
made friends, got married (briefly)
and signed with a talent agent. "He
booked me as an extra in a few
films—just minor stuff, like playing
a Vegas showgirl in the upcoming
movie Jayne Mansfield, ап Ameri-
can Tragedy—and I put together
a modeling composite." Then a
friend with an eye for beauty got
her an appointment at PLAYBOY's
Studio West, with the results you see
here. Gina would like to become an
actress, but unlike many star-struck
beauties, she is sensibly pursuing a
plan B. "I can't go back to Mc-
Donald's anymore. 1 need to do
something creative. So if acting
doesn't work out, I'd like to start
my own business, perhaps a bou-
tique or a beauty salon. I'm going
to study business administration,
just in case I need something to fall
back on.” That, we suspect, is the
attitude that has kept this high-
spirited nomad landing on her feet.

“Pm picky about the men I choose. I prefer intelligent men you can
have a decent conversation with. I like older men because, let's face it,
they know how to behave with a woman." Above and right, Gina's
pleasures include Finnish costumes and fashion magazines.

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

ww; GINA GOLDBERG

BUST: 36 EAE S TS 24 SHIPS: o

HEIGHT: Кей ree] LOS ston: CANCER.

BIRTH DATE:. ARES) тешик ZVARU LEAD
cous: 20 BECOME A SUCCESSFUL SINGER - ACTRESS AND
Tl OREN МУ OWN CLUB FOR PREMO ARTISTS. -
turn-ons: МИС, MATURE, с, ANIMALS , 6000 FOP , HEALTHY
LIVIN , PTA SUNSHINE, CARING PEOPLE FREEDOM :
TURN-OFFS: Daves VIOLENCE, "more, OLUTION CRUELTY
To ALL LII THINGS, SELEISH,, CYME УУУ он WAR .
Jubms sei MIE RABLES. BOOES OKS M SCIENCE

AMD PSYCHOLOGY, ALSO SELEINSTRUCTIVE BODES .
FAVORITE MOVIES: ДЕЙНИ, THE DEER HUNTER- SOME LIE
ОНО, LA DOLCEVITA, ELMER GANTRY, MOST 505 MOVIES .
FAVORITE MUSICIANS: КОР? WIE WONDER, THE BEATLES , FILLY WEL

AMIS JOPLIN DoW WA SUMMER BARBRA STREI SIND BEE GEES

FAVORITE sports: SWIMMING JObLING, KING , ICE SKATING
TENNIS HORSEBACK ДИЛО, BASEBALL, CAMPING .

втссЕвт Joy: ZA MELIA, PENG CALE Оё AMMALS »

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Having given his name to the divorce attorney,
the client began by saying, “I live in a two-
story house——"

"fm a busy man and that's irrelevant in-
formation," interrupted the counselor.

“But I do live in a two-story house,” per-
sisted the man. "One is that she has a splitting
headache. The other is that it's the wrong
time of the month."

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines douche as
an aquapuncture.

Hey, Max,” yelled a researcher on psychologi-
cally induced interspecies breeding as a large
rabbit mounted a small cat, "come and see the
hare on this pussy!"

The morning after they had spent the night
together, the pickup lovers had a falling out.

"Look, pen creep," snapped the girl, “I
stretched the truth. pretty far when 1 said you
were a great lover."

“But I beat you to the punch,” the fellow
snapped back, “when I told you 1 had had a
vasectomy.”

Perversion in the Women's Army Corps! An
attractive young recruit has brought charges
against her platoon sergeant for persistently
chewing her out.

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines foreplay as
an organ prelude.

Do you have a special scientific name, doctor,
the man asked his psychiatrist, “for compulsive
masturbation while fantasizing about one’s past
mistresses?”

“Yes, I do,” replied the shrink. “I call it
whacking nostalgic.”

A buggering Texan named Skelly
Likes boyish butts under his belly.
When a catamite foil
Hears him brag, “I'm in oil!”
What is meant is petroleum jelly.

‘Word having reached him of hanky-panky in
the stock room during coffee breaks, the per-
sonnel director asked, “What was your work,
Miss Jones, before you joined us?”

“I was a toll collector.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“Before any guy entered my tunnel, I col-
lected twenty bucks.”

1 know you yelled that all systems were go,”
the disappointed female snapped at her astro-
naut lover, who had ejaculated prematurely,
“but I assumed there would at least be a
countdown before blast-off!”

A Catholic female named Trent
Refrained from the sex act for Lent.
Although she kept feigning
She liked the abstatning,
She was eager to come when Lent went.

That's the last time,” sighed the callgirl as she
staggered out of the Indian convention man-
ager's suite, “that I'll agree to do it for sixty
bucks.”

Our Unabashed Dictionary defines impotence
as zero copulation growth.

А handsome young man, delighted by his
untroubled first sexual experience with his vir-
gin girlfriend, wondered why his news wasn't
greeted more enthusiastically by his friend.

"What's wrong vith you?" he inquired. "Are
you jealous or something?"

"No," calmly answered the fellow, “уоп just
didn't remember what I told you belore."

“What was that?" demanded the youth.

“IE at first you do succeed,” replied the

second, “you weren't first.”

lt strikes us as logical that executives of laxa-
tive-manufacturing firms should put in irregu-
lar hours.

еа

Say, Harry, your fly's partly open.”

“I know it. The love my girl and I had for
each other died last night, so I'm wearing my
zipper at half-mast.””

Naturally, 1 knew what he was after,” the
typist confided to a group of her sister em-
ployees, "but my date last night was so casual
and obvious about it! I'm not putting words
in his mouth, but during the evening, he be-
gan referring to his John Henry, and then to
his organ, and then to his tool and his
Cock...

“And did you end up by letting him,” gig-
gled one of her listeners, "put one of those
words in your mouth?"

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on а post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY,
Playboy Bldg., 919 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago,
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

a reinterest in sport
shirts and casual slachs
(shorts, too) is making
for lightweight, loose
living in the good
old summertime

m JEANS AND T-SHIRTS may still be a guy's best fair-weather friends, but sport shirts and
attire By DAVID PLAT У е

comfortable, easygoing slacks and shorts are making a strong comeback on the fashion
scene. Fresh colors, sinfully soft fabrics and a modest touch of prints are the top-drawer reasons guys are rediscovering the
pleasure of a comfortable sport shirt. And casual slacks are showing up in a greater variety of styles than we've seen in years.
Pleated front, plain front, straight lcg, tapered leg, belted, beltless or pull-on—you name it, somebody's manufacturing it. All
this seems to indicate an appetite for casual looks beyond the ubiquitous blue jeans. Not that jeans are likely to fade from your
M2 casual wardrobe, but it does feel good to have an alternative outfit to jump into—one that’s comfortable and good-looking.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ULI ROSE

Above left: Pleeza no squeeza that tomato, muscles, even though
the lady con’t get enough of your multicolor rayon short-sleeved
ebstract-print shirt with a pajame collar, $28.50, that’s worn over
silk/wool/polyester slacks, $50, both by Roland. Above right: He’s
obviously dressed for a swinging affair in a rayon gabardine long-
sleeved shirt with button-hrough potch pockets, $37.50, and
pleated and tab-waisted cotton slacks, $55, both by Alan Flusser.

Below: The heat’s coming on—ond so is our guy in cotton/silk
walking shorts, $100, plus a crepe de Chine shirt, $210, both by
Pinky & Dianne Ltd. His buddy likes о crepe de Chine pullover,
by Effects, about $50; linen/cotton slacks, by Valentino Uomo/
Cheso, $120; and a snakeskin belt, by Calvin Klein, $29.50.
Bottom: An easygoing outfit that includes a silk shirt, about
$90, ond silk stacks, about $70, both from Gary Miller Assoc.
for Morgan Ayres; plus a python belt, by Justin Belts, about $35.

PLAYBOY

GOOD ROCKIN’ TONIGHT (continued from page 112)

“From a distance, it made no difference at all that he
wasn’t a carbon сору of Elvis.”

nce had been said here thousands
ight, it was full of more
iddleaged women than I'd ever seen
in one place, and the clicking of high
heels and pocketbooks was a constant
roar.

Then the house lights went down and
it got dead silent. The curtain rose in
the darkness and a spotlight stabbed
down and my brother leaped into it. He
tore into Heartbreak Hotel like a man
possessed. My brother, who had been
good, had gotten better. Maybe he really
was the best. He had all the moves down,
and from this distance, it made no dif-
ference at all that he wasn't a carbon
copy of Elvis.

He sang Blue Suede Shoes and Don’t
Be Cruel and Jailhouse Rock and spoke
of the series of miracles that had brought
Elvis to the top in so short a time. He
said Elvis had loved black music and
made a plea for integration and sang Zn
the Ghetto. All this time, he was throw-
ing scarves into the audience and women
were fighting for them. Then he said,
"heres been a great loss of faith in
this country. Maybe it was Nixon, maybe
Vietnam. I voted for Nixon, but he be-
trayed us. He thought he could get away
with fooling us rednecks.” He looked

‘ound, his face incandescent in the spot-
light. “That's right. I'm a redneck. So
are you. And so was Elvis. We're the
people who kept the faith.

There was more, but I don't really
remember all he said; and he didn’t
write it down, he spoke right from the
rt. He asked for a ment of silence
for the boys who had died in Vietnam
and sang How Great Thou Art. Then he
ripped right into Hound Dog and disap-
peared without an encore. The lights
came up and we were back in that
shabby little auditorium with flags on
either side of the stage.

The audience went wild, like they'd
just woke up, and I ran downstairs to
Bubba’s dressing room, where you could
hear them stomping on the floor over-
head.

‘Then Floyd said, “Here come the
autograph hounds,” and opened the door
and they poured in. Bubba signed his
own glossies as fast as they could shove
them at him, and pretty soon a woman
grabbed his gold chain and tore it right
off his neck.

“We'd better get out of here, Bubba,”
Floyd said, and we shoved through the
crowd. But they had our way blocked

144 and we had to detour into the girls’

rest room. Bubba was still laughing, but.
to tell the truth, I was scared. We
climbed out the window and ran across
the parking lot, where someone from the
band was waiting in the Eldorado. We
all piled in and drove off, a crowd of
women following us all the way to the
corner.

“They shoulda had cops there,” Bubba
aid after a while. “I told them we'd
need cops. Floyd, you'd better start pack-
ing a rod. You're gonna need it if there's
any more crowd scenes like this."

At Six Flags, Bubba demolished the
other Elvis impersonator. What sur-
prised me was how many there werc.
They came in all shapes and sizes, and
one had come Irom as far away as Ne-
braska. There was only one who was seri-
ous competition: Claude Thibodeaux,
{тош New Iberia, Louisiana, who billed
himself as the Cajun Elvis. He had flash,
but nobody could beat Bubba for sheer
impact.

Right after his performance, Bubba
was approached by someone who wanted
to manage . Elvis Presley's manager,
as everyone knows, was Colonel Tom
Parker. This was Bud Р: ; late a
colonel in the U.S. Air Force. The coin-
cidence tickled them both. He promised
Bubba in one year he'd be playing
Caesars Palace in Las Vegas.

Iwas packing my suitcase when Bubba
came into my room and said, “Big broth-
ег, you and me are going to Houston."

"What for?”

“Looka here at this telegram

The telegram was from Nancy Jo
Miller, who'd been Bubba's high school
love. She was married now and lived in
Houston. She said she'd read about his
act, congratulated him and hoped they
could get together sometime.

Sometimes my brother dumfounded
me. But I couldn't say no, and anyway,
he was paying for the tickets. So instead.
of going home, we flew to Houston on
Trans Te got a rented car and a
room at the Holiday Inn.

Nancy Jo lived in a $200,000 brick
colonial on the edge of Houston, with.
pine trees growing in the front yard.
Bubba had this idea he wanted to drop.
nd surprise her, so we didn't phone
4. He slipped on his shades and 1
rang the doorbell. T felt sorry for Bubba:
He was as nervous as a kid on his first.
date.

in
ali

Just for a moment, I saw Nancy Jo as
she really was, a little faded around the

eyes and mouth. But the years had been
good to lier. I suppose you could say she
resembled Angie Dickinson—which, in a
way, was a hell of a lot better than she'd
looked in high school.

"Oh, my Lord," she said, when she
saw Bubba in his white Elvis jump suit,
and gave a short, embarrassed laugh that
was cut off as if by a knife. Then she

id, "I'll make yall bloody marys,” and
ppeared into the kitchen.

[his was a mistake," Bubba said. He
was trembling so hard I had to hold
him up.

Nancy Jo came back and we sat in the
tiny front room with the big picture
window, which I knew was almost never
used except for guests. What with the
baby grand piano and the big sofa and
the glass-topped coffee table, there was
hardly room for the three of us; but
from the first, I don’t even think they
knew I was there. They were totally
absorbed in each other. She poured out
the story of all that had happened since
they'd seen each other last, and I stared
at the celery stalk in my bloody mary
and tried not to listen.
псу Jo had intended to marry Bub-
ba, but he had to do his Army service,
and there secmed to be all the time in
the world; so she went to Dallas and
enrolled in stewardess school. She pic
tured herself wearing that cute uniform
and doing favors lor the passengers,
bringing them pillows and playing with
their kids

She lived with some other stews on
Gaston Avenue and there were some
pretty wild parties; but Nancy Jo locked
herself in her room and did crossword
puzzles and wrote love letters to Bubba.

It was the airplane that did her in.
The other stews hung out in the galley,
where you could meet pro-football play:
ers and rich oilmen. Nancy Jo didn't
want a rich oilman: She was going to
have Bubba. So she fought it.

But the airplane was the most boring
place in the world. The kids were snotty
and their parents were cross and didn't
appreciate the favors you did for them.
There was nothing to do but look out
the window. and when you did, what
did you sce? Clouds.

In the end, she went to the galley,
which was like a nickel-plated singles
bar, so tiny you couldn’t turn around
without bumping into some horny guy.
There she met Calvin Sloate, a corpo-
rate lawyer for Texaco; and they drank
Scotch out of tiny bottles while the galley
roared like a sea shell, rocking slightly їп
the rough air 20,000 feet over Indian-
apolis.

“I'm sorry, Bubba,” she said. “But you
were going to be in the Army for another
year and that seemed like forever. I had
to get off that airplane.” So she had

(continued on page 189)

ILLUSTRATION BY DENNIS MAGDICH

a beer lovers
brewdeker to
the latest lights, imports
and premiums

drink
By EMANUEL GREENBERG

iF you BELIEVE champagne is the only
beverage linked with revelry and ro-
mance, chances are you've never been to
an Oktoberfest, Munich's annual 16-day
beer frolic. But the fact that beer can
generate warm and jolly sentiments is
certainly no recent discovery. Man's lust
for lager predates written records and
may well be the most durable entente
in history.

‘The annals are strewn with tales of
beer's impact (continued on page 252)

Her estranged husband fired a round [rom a 12-gauge Mossberg pump shotgun close to her

face. Paul Leslie Snider murdered Dorothy and then used the same weapon to kill him-
self, on August 14, 1980, two years and a day after her arrival in Hollywood. That much you
knew, more or less. Her life you don't know. Her life and death are one now, at the end: abrupt-
Ту stopped. Her life is what she left, and it is worth knowing.

Holland. 1940. Peternella Fiichs, five years old, played alone at home. Her father had been
arrested by the Germans and taken away. Her mother was at work. The house was unheated
and there wasn’t any food, so the neighbors called the police. The police came and took
Peternella to an orphanage. Her mother wanted her back, but the court wouldn't release her.
She grew up at the orphanage. It was wartime and the orphanage served the most basic food.
Mashed potatoes with vegetables stirred into them, a drizzle of bacon grease for taste. A meatball
with the potatoes on Wednesday and on Sunday a small piece of meat. The children went out
from the orphanage in groups, walking three in a row: one, two, three. Once a year they went

©: worst is public knowledge: Dorothy Stratten, 1980 Playmate of the Year, was murdered.

the life and death of playboy's playmate of the year

DOROTHY STRATTEN:
HER STORY

article By RICHARD RHODES
and the editors of PLAYBOY

based in part on the
research of

John Riley and
Laura Bernstein

to the beach on the streetcar. For weeks
afterward, they relived the streetcar trip.

The world entered the orphanage
through the front door. Peternella won
the important work of opening that door
to visitors. She opened the door one day
in late adolescence to a woman looking.
for an orphanage girl willing to work at
a dentist’s office. The woman chose
Peternella. who was blonde. blue-eyed,
ith a broad Dutch forehead, not tall,
innocent. She was filled with gratitude
for the choice.

At the dentist's office Peternella met a
young man, Simon Hoogstraten. He was
tall, with dark hair and glasses and
strong hands. He was a carpenter, well
trained, a craftsman. In time he asked
Peternella to marry him. She was 18 and
she hardly knew him, but she wanted out
of the orphanage. She would not nor-
mally be released, not even for marriage,
until she was 21. Hoogstraten thought
he could win early release for her if he
arranged for them to emigrate. She ac-
cepted his proposal.

He went to the orphanage and met
with its board—men of the cloth. church-
men. He passed out cigars. Where did he
intend to emigrate? Canada. Why Can-
ada? The country was seeking people
with skills, he was a carpenter, they
would pay passage one way. The church-
men liked the cigars. Feeling good, they
agreed.

Simon Hoogstraten and Peternella
Fiichs were married at the orphanage in
the spring of 1954. The new bride was
not allowed to leave the orphanage until
the day of her departure from Holland,
two weeks after the wedding. She joined
her husband at the airport.

They huddled with other Dutch emi-
grants in transit at Heathrow Airport in
London. None of them spoke more than

The rare combinotion of vulnerability and
feminine allure thot gave Dorothy her special,
undenioble appeal is evident even in this, her
formol high school graduation photograph.

a few words of English. When one or-
dered orange juice, they all ordered
orange juice. When one ordered eggs.
they all ordered eggs.

On arrival at Vancouver, British Co-
lumbia, the Hoogstratens had $40 be-
tween them, but Simon found work. He
was a carpenter and there is always work
for carpenters. He built houses.

Peternella decided that her name was
confusing. She shortened it to Nellie.
Nellie Hoogstraten, a young Dutch wom-
an in Canada. Vancouver was like Hol-
land, cool and grcen, but the people
were different. Even the people in the
Dutch community. They wanted to get
things fast. In the Old Country you
couldn't get things fast.

After five years of marriage the couple
still hadn't started а family. Nellie re-
turned to Holland with a girlfriend. The
girlfriend rented a car and they spent two
wecks touring. Nellie had never seen her
country. She was reunited with her moth-
er and the change did her good. Not
long after she got back to Vancouver,
she became pregnant.

Simon bought four building lots on a
green hillside in Vancouver's East End,
planned four houses, drew his own blue-
prints. He built the houses entirely on
his own. One he rented; two he sold.
The fourth was for him and Nellie and
the baby. While he was building it, he
installed his expectant wife in a tiny cot-
tage across the strect. She kept a garden
and waited.

The baby, a strong, healthy girl, was
born at the Salvation Army hospital in
Vancouver on February 28, 1960, near
midnight. The Hoogstratens named her
Dorothy Ruth.

The house wasn't ready and Simon
worked hard to finish it. It had ‘three
bedrooms, 2 nursery, central heating, a
picture window and red-tile steps. Ne
would nurse the baby while she watched
Simon build it.

Dorothys younger brother, Johnny,
was born two years later, but neither
family nor prosperity kept Simon home.
He worked long hours. He worked at
night. He always working. Nellie
became di ioned. She was alone so
much. She told her husband he ought to
. he worked so hard.

"s next child was stillborn. She
discovered she was an Rh-negative
mother.

When Dorothy was three, her father
abandoned them. "There was another

The hard times of growing up poor in western Conoda were eased by the warmth of Dorothy's closely knit fomily (left to right), sister
Louise, mother Nellie, Dorothy ond brother John. Dorothy wos 16 when this photogroph wos token. The fomily's harmony turned to discord
when Dorothy met smoll-time hustler Poul Snider ond proceeded to date him despite her fomily’s strong objections. Dorothy’s apparent
hoppiness with husbond Snider on the occasion of her 20th birthdoy (below right) gave no hint of the tragedy thot would follow.

The newly crowned 1980 Playmate of the Year posed proudly with a life-sized blowup of herself (below) and with Editor-Publisher Hugh
Hefner (above left) at a press luncheon in April 1980 at Playboy Mansion West. Later that day, a radiant Dorothy (center) dazzled both the
audience and host Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show: At right, during the filming of They All Laughed on location in New York, Peter
Bogdanovich directed the ingénue actress with whom he was falling in love. Their relationship had been a well-kept secret.

woman in his life. Nellie had been given
only a grade school education in Hol-
land and her English was still halting.
Abruptly and unexpectedly, she had chil-
dren to support. Simon offered grudging-
ly to come back to her, but Nellie said
no. If he didn’t want her, she didn’t
want him. She was still young and able
to work. If she had known then how
difficult it would be, she would have
taken Simon back.

Nellie found employment as а house-
keeper. She moved to an upstairs apart-
ment in the poorest part of the East
End. One night, when it was raining,
Nellic walked to a nearby bridge and
looked down into the black water. She
was despondent. She might have jumped,
but she slipped and fell on the wet side-
walk. A couple passing in a car saw her
fall and stopped, coaxed her into their
car, drove her home. Her downstairs
neighbor made tea for her and then she
went upstairs to her children. The chil-
dren were sleeping. Nellie thought: They
didn't ask to come into this world; I
can't leave them here alone.

She went to sce a psychiatrist at a
mental-health clinic. He gave her a little
bottle of pills. The pills were supposed
to help her, but they put her to sleep.
She would wake in the middle of the
evening and find the refrigerator door
open. The children had been trying to
reach the milk. There would be corn
flakes spilled on the floor. This can't
go on, Nellie told herself. It was time
she smartened up. She stopped seeing the
psychiatrist, stopped taking the pills.
She meant to survive, meant to keep her
children and to raise them. She had
grown up in an orphanage. Her children

PLAYBOY

would grow up with a mother and a
home.

Nellie went on Social Assistance and
worked as much as its income limitation
allowed. She managed to make a down
payment on a house—a cottage not
much bigger than an average American
living room. Whatever happened, she
always wanted to have a house. Making
the mortgage payments was hard. Better
to eat dry bread and pay the mortgage,
she told herself. There were stores in
Vancouver that sold horse meat. The
children couldn't tell the difference. To
them it tasted good.

When Dorothy was six, Nellie be-
came pregnant again. Nellie worked for
the father as a housekeeper. She believed
he loved her and might marry her. She
told him at Christmastime, after he had.
given her an expensive gift. “You'll have
to prove it's mine,” he shouted angrily.
“You'll haye to prove it!”

Nellie considered abortion.

Because of her previous problems, her
Rh-negative condition made it a legal
choice in Canada. Approval took four
months. Nellie lay in bed in the hospital.
The abortion was scheduled for that
morning. The baby kicked. It was the
first time she had felt it move inside her.
She got up, walked down the hall, called
a cab. Her doctor came running. We've
gone to all this trouble, he argued with
her, and now you want to keep it.

She did. Louise, Dorothy's younger sis-
ter, was delivered by Caesarean section
and survived a complete blood exchange.

Nellie loved her three children with
an orphan's fierce, determined love.
"They moved to a cabin in the moun-
tains, but it was dangerously isolated in
winter. After a frightening blizzard, Nel-
lie moved them back to Vancouver. They
moved six times that year. They were
living again in Vancouver's East End. It
was a rough part of town.

Dorothy missed having a father. She

knew her father had walked out on them
and she dreamed of being famous some-
day, so that he would know and notice
her and be sorry.
She was the oldest; she took that
responsibility seriously. She helped her
mother whenever she could: made sure
Johnny got up for school, helped Louise
dress. In school Dorothy studied nut
tion. She and her classmates were sup-
posed to keep daily diaries of what their
families ate so the teacher could show
them how to eat better. Dorothy kept a
diary for her family and showed her
mother what she had learned.

Exhibition Park beside Burrard Inlet
was an саѕу walk in summer from their
house. Dorothy took her brother and
little sister to the park for the day. They
rode the roller coaster. Dorothy watched
the people coming and going from the

150 race track and the big stadium. Some-

times the three of them walked down to
the water and watched the boats.

In the winter, Nellie took them to
Burnaby Mountain Park, east into Burn-
aby on Hastings Stree They took
cardboard boxes or saucer sleds and
sledded down the mountain. There was
an observation deck on the roof of the
park restaurant where they could stand
and look out over the trees to the moun-
tains on the other side of the inlet.
Around them were fresh dark evergreens
weighted with snow. Burnaby Mountain
was fun.

Dorothy collected costume jewelry, but.
she didn't have a jewelry box, so she
decided to make onc out of plywood,
with wire for the hinges. She painted
the box pink and painted a big red heart
on the lid. She brought her girlfriends
home from school and Nellie made them
Dutch pancakes. Then the girls played.
Dorothy came out in a big hat and onc
of Nellie's dresses. She wobbled trying to
walk in her mother’s high-heeled shoes.

When she was 14, Dorothy and her
best friend, Cheryl, went up and down
the East End looking for jobs at places
like Ernies Take Home and Fabric Lanc.
‘They stopped in at the Dairy Queen bra-
zier restaurant on Hastings Street. The
owner was а burly, black bearded man
named Dave Redlick. While they waited
for him to interview them, they bounced
on the couch in his office and giggled. He
almost caught them, Dorothy was tall for
her age and looked older than her years.
Redlick liked her and hired her. He
hired Cheryl also. He showed Dorothy
where they kept the red-and-brown-plaid
smocks the girls wore and introduced her
to the girl she'd be working with. After
that, Dorothy worked at the Dairy
Queen on weckends. She was a hard
worker. She never missed a day.

She liked school. A lot of the kids in
the East End cut classes. She never did
and she made sure Johnny and Louise
didn't, either. But the kids who did were
out there when she walked home. They
taunted and teased her. Because she was
tall and skinny, they called her a bean
pole. Because she was shy, they said she
was stuck-up. They said she had big lips,
beady eyes, no tits. She tried to ignore
them, but it was hard to do. When they
were hanging out together in the street
at night, she'd be studying her lessons or
helping Nellie at home and they hated
her for it.

Then an older brother of one of the
girls who teased her caught Dorothy one
afternoon after school. He spat in her
face and slapped her. He knocked her
down. He kicked her, When Nellie came
home from work, Dorothy told her moth-
er what had happened. It made Nellie
angry and behind the anger it frightened
her. "Mum," Dorothy said proudly, “I
didn't cry.

About that time Johnny started get-
ting into wouble and someone broke
into their house and stole most of their
belongings. The neighborhood was so
bad that Dave Redlick started driving
Dorothy home on the back of his motor-
cycle when she had to work late at the
Dairy Qucen. Nellie decided they had
to move.

She found a house in Coquitlam, a
suburb cast of Vancouver. By then Nellic
was studying for her secondary school
equivalency, training in practical nurs-
ing and working їп a hospital. They
wcre still on Social Assistance. Coquitlam
wasn't fancy, but it wasn't poor, either.

The house in Coquitlam was bigger
than any the four had ever lived in.
Finally, Dorothy had her own room. Jt
was only eight by ten feet, but it had a
closet with sliding doors and a window
that looked out onto a back yard. It was
beautiful.

Dorothy took the bus into Vancouver
on weckends to work at the Dairy Queen.
At night Dave would put her on the
bus to Coquitlam and then call Nellie,
who would drive to the bus stop to meet.
her daughter and take her home.

It was hard to pay the mortgage for
the larger house and Nellie had her
hands full. She didn't have much time
to talk to her children. Sometimes she
would pass the door to Dorothy's room
and hear her daughter crying and not
know what to do. Dorothy was 15. It
was near the end of the school ycar when
they moved. She didn't know anyone
at the new school.

Dorothy collected stamps. Stamps told
stories of other people and other places.
She liked mounting them in the album
and then dreaming about the pcoplc
and places.

She started a hope chest. She learned
to knit and made sweaters for it. She
learned to crochet and began crocheting
a throw. She made doilies for the furni-
ture she would one day have in her own
home.

For her last two years of high school,
Dorothy went to Centennial Senior Sec-
ondary. She liked Centennial, but she
was so shy that most of her classmates
hardly noticed her.

"I never wore makeup or fancy
clothes,” she would later recall. "And
I was scared to death of people.”

She got good grades and did best
in her creative-writing and secretarial
courses. There was a rumor around
school that one of their teachers had
once appeared in рілувох. Dorothy
thought it was strange, because the teach-
er wasn't very pretty.

Then Dorothy began to blossom. Her
striking 5'9” frame—all awkward angles
in adolescence—began to fill out with
sexual maturity. Her Dutch heritage
showed in her fine features and clear

LEROY NEMAN
‘SKETCHEOOK

уго

fir

VVE ALWAYS LIKED the Eiffel Tower as a subject. | once had ап apartment-studio in the Passy section of Paris and. from my balcony,
1 had а splendid view of the tower. | sketched its skeletal structure in all kinds of weather, all seasons and all hours of the
day and night. Last spring, while visiting a friend who lives near the Champ de Mars, 1 began to sketch the tower again. As 1
drew, | noticed a shapely French soleil worshiper enjoying the spring's first rays on a ninth-floor balcon—and, from his balcony
directly across the way, a motionless secret admirer, binoculars in hand, quietly zeroing in on her unclad charms. Vive la France! —L.N.

151

PLAYBOY

luminous skin. Her long blonde hair
became lustrous and set off hazel-blue
eyes. The cool Vancouver air put color in
her cheeks. The bean pole was on her
way to becoming a beautiful woman, but
she would be the last to realize it.

In her junior year, Dorothy began
dating her first serious boyfriend. What
impressed her most about him when they
met was his car, a Camaro.

"He was goodlooking," she would
write later, "but a little much. He had an
apple and a carton of milk in one hand.
and a burger in the other, trying to get.
Шеш all in his mouth at the same time.
When he tried to say ‘Hi,’ everything
came spurting out of his face and I broke
up laughing.”

It was a rocky romance. She reflected

on it later in a notebook of personal
reminiscences and poetry that she started
writing after she arrived in Hollywood.
I don't know what attracted me to
hi - I had to keep making myself
believe that I really loved him. I thought
Iloved him because he was my boyfriend
and we went out for a long time and we
slept together. I knew something wasn't
right. If that was love, then love was a
pretty big letdown. I was always afraid
of breaking up, because I thought I
wouldn't know what to do without him.
But I'm sure a lot of my troubles and
problems were my own fault.”

Dorothy's fear of being without a boy
friend kept the relationship going for
more than a year. She even bought him
a ruby ring. It cost $70. She paid for it in
installments out of carnings from her
part-time job, five dollars at a time.

On odd weekends, when she wasn't
baby-sitting or working at the Dairy
Queen, they would go out to a movie
or dinner—pizza or Chinese. More often,
they spent the evening at her house or
his, drinking and watching TV.

Sex was a constant conflict. Sometimes
Dorothy thought it was all he wanted
her for. He never saw her naked. She
took her clothes off under the covers.

"I don't know what there was to be
ashamed of,” she wondered later, “but
T was.’

Sex with him included none of the
romance she longed for. Not yet valuing
her own worth, she blamed herself:
“There was nothing wrong with him. It
was me.”

Dorothy tried to break up the relation-
ship at the start of her senior year, but
she felt so empty and alone she went
back to him. They fought continually
that fall and winter. On a weekend of
skiing at Whistler Mountain, a good-
looking boy named Craig paid attention
to her and it made him mad. He argued
with her on the long drive home. He'd
had it with her, he said. He took off the
ruby ring she'd given him and crushed

152 it with a pair of pliers. After that, she

didnt go out with anyone for more
than a month.

Dorothy turned 18 in February of
1978. It was embarrassing to still be
working at the Dairy Queen at 18: “At
first I was 14 years old. It was great to
get work that young, but I turned 15
and 16 and 17 and at 18 I was still
working there, wearing a little red uni-
form with my hair in pigtails.”

One weekend a black Datsun 2407
with redleather upholstery pulled into
the Dairy Queen parking lot. A guy got
out with a blonde on his arm. He camc
in and sat in one of the pinkand-tan
booths. Dorothy couldn't help noticing
him. He was all flash. He was wearing
a long, blond fur coat and lizardskin
boots with spurs. His black hair was care-
fully groomed; he had sideburns and a
mustache. Dorothy served him.

“What's your name?" he asked her.
The big bad wolf. He wanted a Straw-
berry Sundae Supreme.

“I was in a good mood,” Dorothy re-
membered, “so I made a huge tower out
of it. I didn’t even realize what it would
make him think. I wasn't the type to
make passes at guys."

A few days later, one of Dorothy's girl-
friends phoned her. Some guy had called
the Dairy Queen and said he had a date
with Dorothy that evening. He wanted
her number. The girlfriend wouldn't
give it to him, so he gave her his. He
wanted Dorothy to call him.

Dorothy thought about it and men-
tioned it to her mother. Ncllic told her
not to call. Dorothy didn't often dis-
obey her mother. Th е she did.

When the guy mentioned the Sundae
Supreme, she remembered him. His
name was Paul Snider, he said, and he
wanted to take her out. She told him she
was sick. He said he'd phone the next
day and he did. She was still too sick,
but the day after that she got up enough
nerve to say yes.

"The time finally came:

“He pulled into the driveway in the
2407. I couldn't believe my eyes. I
opened the door and watched him walk
toward me. I was stunned, but also em-
barrassed. I knew I wasn't the girl he ex-
pected to see. "You—look nice; he said,
but I could tell he was trying to cover
his shock. I was wearing gray pants and
a black top. He had on a long leather
coat with a fur collar, two of the biggest
diamond rings I'd ever seen, a necklace
with a huge, diamond-studded star and a
gold bracclet with his initials picked out
i jamonds, PLS. I wanted to disap-

car.
But she didn't disappear. She put on
her coat and walked out to Paul Snider's
car and got in. He did all the talking as
they drove. Twice he touched her hand.

He took her to his apartment on 15th
Avenue. It was a glitzy, fake-opulent
bachelor pad in a modern building with
a balcony outside a sliding glass door.
Dorothy was wide-eyed: “It had plants
everywhere, almost like an indoor jun-
gle, and a huge skylight, fur rugs, a
closet with a full mirror and a big plat
form bed." It reminded her of beautiful
homes she'd seen on TV. It reminded her
of big stars and famous people. She
couldn't believe she was actually there.

Paul cooked dinner for them and
served his favorite wine—asli spumante.
He told her he vas a big promoter. He
put on car shows, he said. In awed si-
lence, Dorothy wondered what he was
doing taking out a waitress from a Dairy
Quecn.

He asked her if she had any nice
dresses to go out in. She didn't reply,
but she guessed he knew the answer.

In the living room alter dinner, he
played the guitar and sang songs he
he'd written himself. He moved closer.
They kissed. He told Dorothy he felt
the same things she did; she didn't have
to say them; he knew. He said their lips
were made for each other.

"I was being sweettalked by an ex-
pert," she would write, "but I wanted to
hear more." Paul was saying all the ro-
mantic things that the boys she'd dated
at Centennial had never said. She wished
this evening would never end.

Nellie had disliked Snider оп sight.
She thought he looked like trouble.
When Dorothy didn't come home as ex:
pected, Nellie became frightened. She
drove to the police station. She told
the officer on duty she was afraid her
daughter had been kidnaped by the
Mafia. The officer calmed her and sug-
gested she call home. She did and Doro-
thy was there.

“You shouldn't have worried, Mum,"
Dorothy told her mother, “we just drove
around." Nellie was so relieved to find
Dorothy safe that instead of scolding
her, she promised her daughter she'd
give up smoking.

Dorothy felt guilty about her first date
with Paul, because she had started seeing
Cr the boy she had met at Whistler
Mountain. She didn’t know if Paul
would ever call her again, but if he did,
she intended to tell him she already had
a boyfriend, sort of, and she couldn't see
him anymore.

Paul called and Dorothy told him.
But Paul wasn't the sort to take no for
an answer. One afternoon he drove her
to tiny Como Lake, not far from her
house,

“If we like each other, we should be
able to see each other,” he told her. “Let
your heart take you where you want to
go. Don't fool yourself with logic. Happi-
ness comes from the heart, not the brain.

(continued on page 180)

“This is our new spring line. They're showing
these in all the best houses."

153

GIRLS

pictorial essay By STEPHEN BIRNBAUM ê Western

er, the Western
world was bound to find out about the many-splendored young things
crowding the eastern shore of the Adriatic Sea. But why wait for word of
mouth when you've got an eyewitness? And we have one—Staff Photog
rapher Pompeo Posar, born in Trieste and raised in Zagreb, Yugoslavia.
Having found and photographed women from all over the world for our
Girls of . . . features, Pompeo turned his eye to the sites of his own youth
for this one. In fact, the whole thing was his idea: He would combine
the scenic landscapes of Yugoslavia's Adriatic (text continued on page 204)

OF THE ADRIATIC COAST

PHOTOGRAPHY BY POMPEO POSAR

In the scenic island town of
Hvar (below), Vinka Skansi kneels
beside Bobo Zuvic, o member of
one of Yugoslovia's most populor
entertoinment attractions, the
Lokice dance troupe. At right,

а 200-year-old grapevine forms
а canopy over Suzona Rodulovic,
perched above a norrow street in
the romantic old city of Dubrovnik.

the best-kept secrets in the
east. we found them—
and their hiding places—
and now it’s your turn

Rijeka law student Mirjana Vulic
stands in front of a Yugoslavian
version cf the outdoor barbecue.
Zcgreb's Vesno Vrabec (lefi), a
physical-education student, is well
equipped to teach by example.
She's plonning ta be a sports re-
porter. Below, youthful vagabonds
from all over Europe collect on
the steps of a church in Dubrovnik.

Her basket loaded with Balkan goodies, Mima Campara (above) motorbikes around her native Dubrovnik, stopping to confer with a friendly
Police officer. Vacationing Polish dancer Ewa Marczuk (above right) рагіакез in topless sun-bathing, a common delight at the resort town
of Porec, Although economics student Marina Gruja (below) is a receptionist ct a nudist hotel, she actually weors clothes to work.

Belgrade low student Drogana Stanic showers along the rocky Hvor shore

line (above), where she and fellow vacationers sun-bathe nude. At left,

Jasna Vojinovic af Belgrade reinfarces Eastern Eurape’s reputation for
intrigue. The casino, below, at Zagreb's InterContinental Hotel is strictly for tour-
ists. Natives can enter casinos only with an escart bearing a foreign passport.

As newsstands (above) show, PLAYBOY is а
Yugoslavian staple. But asking women there
to model was a challenge. Staff Photogra-
pher Pompeo Posar found them curious but
shy, an expression he coptured on Zagreb
economics student Rojna Opacic, below.

Biserka Petrovic's first name translates roughly as pearly, as in pearly gates.

Her heaverly portrait was shot in the Belgrade studio of Radovan Trnavac, one of
Yugoslavia’s better-known painters. Photos at right of a Porec disco and a café in
Dubroynik illustrate the broad spon of activities available to travelers and residents.

The walled city of Dubrovnik creotes a backdrop for Tresnja Neral, shown ot a naked
lunch, above. Like most of her compatriots, Tresnja is cn active sports participant,
especially in tennis ond basketball. Below, Dijana Becirovic testifies as to why she’s
been chosen Miss Adriatic for three consecutive years. She’s a model by profession.

Zagreb's Anica Djurovic (abave)
says she’s a little conceited but
believes most people her age (20)
are. In her case, it's with good
reason. Below, Romanian bolleri-
na Rodika Candelatto holidays in

Hvar. The building with arched
doorway across the harbor hos
housed a theater since 1612.

Milena Petkovic's middle-of-the-
road appearance on the autskirts
af Zador (above) could cause
someone to miss the Bosnia-
Herzegovina turnoff. In Pisok,
near Split, Jagada Simic wades
in a notural pool, at right, ta give
vs а lost look at the dual beauty
of Yugoslavia and its women.

PLAYBOY

164

“Of all the damn places to get cornered!”

Wilson

the tale of madonna modesta
from Le Tredici Piacevolissime Notti, by Giovanni Straparola, 1550

MADONNA MODESTA—what a bad joke it
was on Fortune's part to give her such
a name! On the other hand, he brought
things back into balance when he caused
her husband to be named Tristano Zan-
chetto, which means zany. They lived,
not long ago, in Pistoia, an ancient
city of Tuscany.

Each of them had an obsession. His
was trade—he was a merchant who im-
ported all sorts of goods, filled his ware-
house, then sold them off piece by piece,
until he was ready to begin the process
anew. He cared little for anything else.

His wife, on the other hand, had al-
ways been something of a philanthropist
before she was married. She was a pretty
girl, with a rounded body, breasts like
peaches and a face that made men in the
street turn their heads. Indeed, she met
many a young man in the street and,
being of that warmhearted habit of giv-
ing, she would take him home and offer
him a lesson in the game of in and out.

Marriage with Zanchetto not at all
changed her habits or cooled her blood.
Instead, she now had everything con-
venient about her—a house whose mas-
ter was away much of the time and a
fine balcony overlooking the street.
‘There she sat often in the afternoon and
amused herself by choosing some hand-
some gallant who chanced to be passing
by. By means of a smile and an inviting
posture, she would tempt him to knock
at her door. And many did.

Zanchetto knew nothing of this, of
course. But one day he grumbled at her,
“I don't know what you do all day long.
How can anyone possibly find life worth
while without ever selling, trading or
marketing something

She simply sniffed at this, but it did
give her an ide:

ist as her young man of
the hour gave up her embrace, sat up
on the edge of the bed and reached for
his clothes, she exacted a payment. She
told him that it was a token to remember
him by, something very personal and yet
not excessively valuable, something that
was expressive of the way he wanted to
appear in the world. Swayed by this
logic and glad to get off so cheaply,
each young man left his shoes for her.
She stored them in an empty warehouse
she borrowed from her husband.

The shoemakers of the town pros-
pered. Noblemen bade farewell to their
wives and set out from home in slippers
of fine new velvet. Burghers went out for
a stroll in the evening wearing excellent
new shoes of cloth. Young artisans left
their doorsteps shod in stout leather.
And, to the intense curiosity of wives,
sweethearts or mothers, cach one came
home barefooted.

Messer Tristano one day had a ship-
ment coming in from Syria and no place
to store it. He suddenly thought of the
warehouse his wife had begged of him.
some time ago. He wondered again at
this whim of hers, found the key and,
expecting nothing but dust and bare
shelves, opened the door. He gasped.
Before his eyes was something more
lavish than the best-stocked shops of
Venice. He walked up and down, look-
ing at the neat rows on the shelves,
marveling at the extent and variety of
the stock. There were not only Tuscan-
made shoes but many of a foreign style.

Zanchetto went to find his wife and
took her back to the room. He shook his
head and asked her whence came this
abundance of footwear.

Madonna Modesta laughed prettily,
then drew herself up and spoke in a
serious and impressive voice. “Messer
Tristano, do you set yourself up as the
only merchant in this city? Do you think
that we women don't know how to buy
dear and sell cheap?”

“You've got it wrong,” Zanchetto
said. “One must do just the opposite—
buy cheap and sell dear.”

"Yes, yes, of course, that is what I
meant,” Madonna Modesta replied. “In
any case, while you are a great merchant
used to weighty affairs and wont to deal
in whole shiploads, I content myself with
commerce on a smaller scale. I do not
offer my merchandise publicly and I
keep my stock of shoes safely here under
lock and key. I pray thee attend with
all diligence to your own trade and I
shall attend to mine.”

Zanchetto was much gratified with the
cleyerness of his wife. He had never
suspected her of such gifts. He compli-
mented her and swore that, far from
interfering, he in all ways favored her
carrying on her business as she pleased.

ILLUSTRATION BY BRAD HOLLAND.

Ribald Classic

When he had gone, Madonna Modesta
sighed with relief. The collecting of
shoes had begun as a fancy or a whim,
but now it had become a need. It was as
if she dreamed of making the whole race
of men happy and barefoot. And in the
years following, her collection grew—
first large enough to shoe every man in
Pistoia, then vast enough to fit all Rome.

But now comes into my story cruel
Time, master of all things and all men.
He began to deal sharply with Madonna
Modesta, slackening that fresh, round
figure, tracing wrinkles on that delight-
ful face. Only the fires in the belly are
slow to wane before his cold breath.

There came a day at last when no
lover sought her out, no men glanced
her way in the street. And there were no
more shoes to add to her store. She
lamented bitterly and looked back on
her dainty pleasures and libidinous ways,
but she could not find the grace to give
them up. Her appetite was as violent as
ever; the sight of a fine gallant still
quickened her senses. And so she ordered
her plans in a new way.

Powdered and extravagantly dressed,
she went back to her balcony and, smil-
ing, gesturing and leaning out, she
spread her net to catch porters, plow-
boys, footmen, chimney sweeps or any
other common fellows passing by. And
when she could lure such a one into her
house and into her bed, she would give
him as a parting present a fine pair of
shoes from her stock. This became
known in the wineshops and taverns of
Pistoia, and an ostler or a butcher's boy
who went out tatter-footed in the morn-
ing came home at night neatly shod.

In the end, it was no longer the sery-
ants and the workmen who came to her
door but the thieves and drunkards who
took what they found in her bed.

It so happened that one day Messer
Tristano took it into his head to visit
the shoe storehouse to determine how
his wife's business was going. Without
telling her, he took the key, unlocked
the door—and found the shelves nearly
empty. At first, he was amazed. Then a
new thought came to him and he went
to seek his wife.

"I see," he said, “that your stock of
shoes has now almost been sold out. I
congratulate you, my dear. You must
have traded at great profit. You must
have amassed a large store of gold.”

The lady gave a desolate sigh and was
silent. At last, she said in a hollow voice,
“All the shoes you saw in my warehouse
have walked away in the fashion they
came. Let me tell you this truth above
all—everything ill got will in brief
while ill go.”

—Retold by Carlo Matteo

Bg 165

2O QUESTIONS: JOHN DE LOREAN

this hard-driving automotive maverick talks about detroit, the romance of the road
(including back-seat sex!) and the gull-winged namesake he hopes will fly

jew York writer Warren Kalbacker
N fought rush-hour traffic in his nine-
year-old Pinto to meet with John
De Lorean in his Park Avenue penthouse
office. “It looked like a marble, chrome
and glass cathedral,’ Kalbacker told us
later. “De Lorean comes across like a
blasphemer in the midst of automotive
orthodoxy. He also refers to taking a
leak as a pit stop.” De Lorean’s car,
which will cost in the $25,000 range, is
being introduced this spring.

PLAYBOY: You're bringing out an automo-
bile with your own name on it. Isn't
that the dream of every true car lover?

DE LOREAN: For years, I dreamed that
someday I'd get the opportunity to
build my own car. I've thought about
this project for 10 or 12 years. It's the
ultimate extension of my background as
an engineer. While 1 was working for
General Motors—first as an engineer and
later as a manager—I accumulated an
inventory of ideas that I wanted to in-
corporate into one car, but, of course, 1
couldn't for economic and other reasons.
So this car is a fulfillment for me.

PLAYBOY: Is there room in this energy-
conscious world for a new dream car?

DE LOREAN: Driving for fun is always go-
ing to be something that people will do.
In spite of all the oil-price increases and
everything else that’s happened to the
automobile industry, cars like BMW and.
Mercedes have emerged unscathed be-
cause they're sold to people who love
cars and who love to drive. In fact,
BMW is still building new plants, while
other companies are closing them down.

PLAYBOY; Just a few years ago, you were
in line for the top spot at General Mo-
tors. Wasn't it hard to leave for such a
long-shot venture?

DE LOREAN: Sure. They throw so much
money at you, you can’t stand it. But it
wasn't really satisfying for me. I watched
how the president of G.M. squirmed un-
der pressure himself, how he was unable
to accomplish things he wanted to do, and
1 decided I wouldn't want his job—no
matter what. I had quite a few years left
in my career and I didn't want to wind
up like that. And I wanted to start this
саг project.

PHOTOGRAPHY FOR PLAYBOY BY ARNOLO NEWMAN © 1061

rrAvBOY: What did your wife, fashion
model Cristina Ferrare, think of your
walking away from С.М.?

DE LOREAN: We talked and I told her 1
wanted out. I said I wanted to start this
car project and that my income would
probably go down to nothing. She told
me that if I had to do it, then go ahead
and do it. She told me not to worry about
the family. And for a certain amount of
time, she actually supported us.

PLAYBOY: Was it a hand-to-mouth exist-
ence during that period?

DE LOREAN: Well, Cristina was making
between $300,000 and $350,000 a year.

rLAYBov: Did General Motors try to
squash your project right away?

DE LoREAN: Big organizations certainly
seem capable of hostility. I did a market
survey among a few dealers to find out
whether or not they were interested in
supporting my sports-car project. The
minute G.M. heard about that, they ter-
minated my bonus, taking something like
$600,000 away from me. I thought that
was unfair. No one had worked harder
for them than I had. Some of the records
1 set while running the Pontiac and Chev-
rolet divisions still haven't been equaled.

PLAYBOY: How much of a car can one de-
sign? Is there a little John De Lorean in
the fenders as well as in the transmission?
DE LOREAN: Yeah. A lot of it is me. Of
course, with anything as complex and
diffcult as an automobile, you have
people helping you. But when you get
down to it, just about every great car
ever built belongs to an individual, such
as the Ferrari and the Bugatti.

Besides, you have to take into account
the fact that optimum solutions to many
design problems now exist. You don't
have to build everything from scratch
anymore. For example, the disc brake is
the standard of the world. Anybody
who's using anything else does so to cut
costs. Today automotive design is mostly
a matter of integrating components into
a balanced machine.

8.
Pravrov: But don't you specialize in a
particular area of automotive design?

DE LOREAN: My background is in drive
trains, transmissions and chassis design.
And I'm very fussy about handling
characteristics. I've tried to design the
De Lorean in a way that it will be very
responsive to an outstanding driver but
not intimidating to the ordinary driver.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever been intimi-
dated by an automobile?
DE LOREAN: 1 sold my Porsche Turbo. It
was more than I could handle. I think
Porsche is one of the world's sensational
cars. But 1 always felt as though I should
have been a little better driver than 1
was to handle a Porsche. That's all right,
though. It's part of the Porsche mystique.
But І just love to drive. І love to get
out there on the road when I have some-
thing to think about. I'll get in my 6.9-
liter Mercedes and do about 400 miles.
It’s a wonderful experience. You have
your own completely controlled environ-
ment. You turn on the kind of music you
want. You drive through your favorite
scenery. By the time I come back, my
head is nice and clear.

10.

PLAYBOY: Sex has certainly played a role
in America's romance with the automo-
bile. Has it figured in your own relation-
ship with the car?

DE LORFAN: Well, when I was young, you
just didn't check into a hotel or a motel.
І haven't had sex in a car more than
11,000 or 12,000 times. Sex would be
extremely difficult in a De Lorean,
though. You'd have to be a real acrobat.

п.

PLAYBOY: Does the Edsel' ghost haunt
the launch of any new-car enterprise?

DE LOREAN: The Edsel should have failed.
Number one, it was so ugly it was almost
a joke. It also had a number of new
mechanical devices that just didn’t work.
It had an automatictransmission shift
mechanism that was spectacular in its
inability to function. And, of course,
momentum had a lot to do with it. The
Edsel was going down the tubes so fast,
nobody could do much about it.

12.

PLAYBOY: Does momentum ever work
the other way in the automobile business?
DE LOREAN: The Volkswagen Beetle was а
sensation. It (continued on page 258)

167

of the 650 class may

now be dismissed.

When Suzuki decides to step into
a class, other folks can only sigh. And
step aside.

Case in point: The new GS-650E,
G and GL. Friends, these bikes aren't
just new, they're tomorrow-new.

For instance, the G and GL Shafts
are outfitted with a unique trans-
mission/shaft system. Get this: When
these bikes are shifted into high gear
(Sth), the power is transferred directly
from the engine to the shaftdrive,
thus bypassing the transmission

reduction gears. Result: More compact

engine, less driveline lash.

You think that's something?
Listen to this: The sporty E model
comes with an automatic dual damp-
ing shock system. So damping rates
are automatically adjusted within the
Shocks as loads and roads change.

You think that's neat? Well, hear
this: All three bikes are powered by
Suzukis new Twin Dome Combustion
Chamber engine. Without getting into

vw warranty.*

a lot of technotalk, we'll just say that
this 4-cylinder, 4-stroke is a power-
house. Yet, it is extremely fuel-efficient
and clean-burning.

We could go on and on about
these extraordinary bikes. All three are
appointed with CV carbs, transistor-
ized ignition, Quartz Halogen head-
light, digital gear indicator, top-
mounted choke and accessory terminal.

And each has its own special fea-
tures. Like tubeless tires and air forks

on the G model. Tubeless tires with

у raised white letters on the GL. And
/_ dual slotted front disc brakes with
a rear single disc on the E and G.

Also, of course, each
of these beautiful machines is
backed with a beautiful

12-month unlimited.mileage

Sure, you've seen 650
bikes before. But you've never seen
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.. PLAYBOY'S
GT WEEKEND BOAT

article By BROCK YATES

here’s how you can still go down
to the sea or the lake in style
and not have your bank balance
turn into a donation to opec

THIS AMAZING age of OPEC black-
mails and big-car blues, the possession of
a so-called gas guzzler can pli

to social grottoes formerly occupied) onl:

Meinhof gang, skid-row regul: h

of the Nixon Admini:

American patriotism

his car, boat or p

Even when beached, the 30-foot Scarab If cuts а mean swath
through the briny. And the boat's price tag won't leave its
brand-new skipper broke; Wellcraft Marine Corporation, the
manufacturer, lists the Scarab Il at less than $25,000 (minus
the twin outboards). Below the foredeck, there's a two-person
V berth forward and a small lounge area that can be con-
verted to sleep two more close friends, plus a small head.

Look, Ma, there's no gas-guzzling inboard engine to weigh
by down, as the Scarab Il features a modified transom
а that takes a pair of light (410 pounds

capable of deliver-
ing a cruising f 45-50 m оп a clear day, with
the water calm, you can really pla jockey and poke

the Scarab И up to just about 60—if you've got the nerve.

In addition to the usual instrumentotion, we opted for two
more electronic goodies that would further enhance the
Scorab Ils usefulness as a weekend sports boat. They included
а Datamarine Sandpiper Ill digital depth sounder and a Data-
marine digital speedometer log (a device that measures speed
and distance). And, of course, we also tacked on a marine
skipper-to-skipper chats.

PLAYBOY

joyously consumed various petrochemical
distillates is now looked upon with the
same revulsion as turning redwoods into
roofing shingles for fastfood emporiums
or clubbing baby seals for their coats.

Why, then, you might ponder, is
PLAYBOY trying to lure you into reading
a story about a high-powered speedboat?
Surely, one docs not have to be a charter.
member of the Sierra Club to know that
those awesome devices are designed only
for wastrels and throttlemashing syba-
rites. Those macho boats, as they are
referred to in some circles, appear to
have no redeeming value other than to
thrill, titillate and sometimes terrify
their passengers with wondrous bursts of
wavehopping speed. Yet within the di-
mensions of their rakish hulls—ranging
from about 24 to 35 feet in length, de-
pending on the manufacturer—there is
potential for substantial utilit

First of all, these boats, with their
decp-V hulls bred for offshore powerboat
racing in nasty, turbulent water, are
amazingly seaworthy. Moreover, their
narrow beam (eight feet) permits them
to be legally trailered in all states. That
means the craft can be hauled by land-
borne vehicles to the desired cruising
grounds and launched for a weekend of
sport without the expenditure of massive
amounts of time (and fuel) trying to
reach the same destination by water.
Beyond that, boats of this type am ac-
commodate a couple for two or three
days of reasonably comfortable living
Certainly, the levels of luxury will never
be confused with those of the QE II, but
then, with on-board head, small galley,
cozy berthing, stereo, refrigerator, ctc.,
one is not exactly tented in an open
field, either.

Yes, boats of this genre can be useful
and pleasurable pocket cruisers, provided.
their one bad habit can be tamed; ie.,
in stock form, they literally inhale gas-
oline. Equipped with their customary.
big-displacement V8 engines, a short ride
around the bay can bring tears to the
eyes of the most affluent boaters and
cause gasoline credit cards to shrivel and
melt. We speak not of miles per gallon
but of gallons per mile, We are talking
about gasoline-consumption levels in the
context that opening the throttles is akin
to flushing a toilet. Bad mileage gains a
whole new dimension when discussing
this subject. "Therefore, in this fuel-
fevered time of booming prices and
shaky supplies, a boat of this type seenis
an anathema to anyone with an ounce
of sense or social conscience.

But the problem lies not with the
boat but with the engines that. power it.
Deep-V hulls are among the cleanest,
most efhcient in the world. However,
their traditional mode of power has been

big-displacement versions of Detroit-built
VB passengercar engines. The motors,
ranging in size from 350 cubic inches to
455 cubic inches, are heavy iron units,
and when connected to standard marine
outdrives, can weigh from 1200 to
1600 pounds each. Mount a pair of those
brutes in the stern of your 30-footer and
they will supply you with between 660
and 740 horsepower in short bursts, but
the fuel costs will be awesome. Moreover,
the great lumps of dead weight in the
stern make the boat sluggish and cum-
bersome to operate at low speeds.

Since the price of gasoline began to
spiral upward, boat manufacturers have
been looking for smaller, lighter, less
avaricious power sources for motorboats
of all types. In the course of their search,
outboards were largely ignored, because
it was believed that they were as glut-
tonous as the big V8s. Then Outboard
Marine Corporation, the manufacturer
of Evinrude and Johnson outboard mo-
tors, developed an amazing experimental
boat that obliterated the old industry
superstitions,

It modified a 28-foot Bertram deep-
V sports convertible hull to accommodate
a pair of 200-hp Evinrude outboards,
replacing the standard 233-hp V8s in the
process. The results were staggering. The
outboards not only upped the boat's
speed from 34 mph to more than 48 mph
but increased fuel economy by as much
as 83 percent. What's more, the cruising
range of the boat was increased from 200
to 500 miles. The massive improvements
were attributed to weight reduction (less
than 700 pounds for the two outboards vs.
more than 9500 pounds for the pair
of VES), as well as better weight distribu-
tion and more efficient drive angle (ic.,
better bite for the propellers as they pass
through the water). The Evinrude folks
were also quick to point out that the
outboard-equipped boat could run in
shallower water, would run 28 mph on
a single engine and encouraged simple
maintenance because of the accessibility
of the power plants.

With the results of that demonstration
pulsing in our brains, we decided that
the world was waiting for a truly con-
temporary weekend GT boat—a craft
that could carry a couple (or a very
friendly foursome) on a few days of cruis-
ing, waterskiing, skindiving or general
hedonism without affecting the interna-
tional monetary fund.

To do this, rLAvnov solicited the coop-
eration of the Wellcraft Marine Corpora-
tion of Sarasota, Florida, one of the most
aggressive and successful young com-
panies in the boating industry. Under a
new, promotion-minded management,
the company has been transformed from
the maker of a line of undistinguished

small runabouts to a top-line manufac
turer of high-performance sports boats
and middleweight family cruisers. Its
magnificent 38-foot Scarab has won the
World Offshore Racing Championship,
as well as numerous major powerboat
aces. Smaller 30-foot versions of the
arrow-shaped, 90-mph 38-footer are also
manufactured, and it is one of those
models we chose to develop into our
cnergy-conscious, environmentally re-
sponsible but still-thrilling superboat.
Our chosen hull was the Wellcraft Scarab
П, a 30-footer with a slightly raised fore-
deck to permit more interior headroom.
With an eight-foot beam, the Scarab H
is able to be trailered. It carries a Coast
Guard-approved head (no overboard d
charge), a refrigerator, fresh-water supply:
and the provision for light electric cook-
ing utensils. There is a large two-person
V berth forward and a small lounge area
that cin be converted to sleep two more.

Working in concert with the Evinrude
engineers, the folks at Wellcraft modi-
fied the transom and rear-deck areas in
order to position a pair of light (410
pounds each), compact 235-hp Evinrude
outboards in place of the original-equip-
ment $30-hp V8s (actually Mercruiser-
modified, 454-cubic-inch G.M./Chevrolet
passenger-and-light-truck engines).

The results were splendid. For open-
ers, the boat was substantially easier to
handle at modest speeds, thanks to the
elimination of nearly a ton of weight
lumped in the stern. While it lost a few
mph in outright speed, our Evinrude-
powered Scarab П would still nibble at
60 mph, depending on sca conditions,
and would cruise at 45-50 mph for hours
on end. The economy was excellent.
While two miles to the gallon would
trigger complete mental breakdown for
a normal car owner, it is a quite satis-
factory figure in marine terms (remember
r boat, being shoved through liquid
as opposed to rolling across а hard sur-
face, requires a great deal more energy
to propel it than a comparably sized land
vehicle) Our Scarab II consumed gas
line and oil (the standard two-cycle out-
board mixture) at the rate of 2.2 miles
per gallon at a steady 35 mph. When
the speed was bumped to 50 mph, mile-
ge dropped to an even two mpg. If
those numbers sound shocking, consider
that a stock Scarab I] with 380-hp УВ»
gets 1.9 mpg at 35 mph and a mere 1.6
mpg at 50 mph. Ir should also be noted
that Wellcraft offers the 30-foot Scarabs
with optional 370-hp V8s, and the mile-
age numbers with those brutes are truly
staggering. At full bore—over 70 mph—
a Wellcraft equipped with those mon-
sters will get in the neighborhood of 1.1
to 1.2 miles to the gallon!

(concluded on page 202)

BILL RUSSELL PUTS ONE UP
FOR OUR OLYMPIC TEAM. AGAIN.

Own the Budweiser 1984 Olympic Games Art Collection.

Budweiser commissioned Bill Russell to create a
masterpiece... using a lot of canvas, a lot of paint and
the tools of his trade. His painting is the colorful, stunning
story of his final game for the gold in the 1956 Olympics.
This was more than good fun, because the painting was
donated to the U.S. Olympic Committee to help raise funds
for our athletes in 1984.

FL чил
Budweiser

You can own the Russell
painting and support our athletes
at the same time. It’s available in
limited edition lithographs (num-
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t or in poster form. Or select from
Budweiser commissioned artworks

Bill Russell won his Olympic

gold through sheer athletic artistry
on the basketball court. He revo-
lutionized the game. His art was

by other Olympic gold medalists.
Put one up as a symbol of your
support of our U.S. Olympic athletes.

defense. But he never imagined he'd
use that familiar ball to create art of a
different form.

Five other famous Olympic gold medalists
are also applying their sport to canvas. Like
Bill Russell, they're helping us raise over a
million dollars for the training of our U. S.
athletes. For further information in a full-
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Olympic patch—send this coupon today.
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PO. Box 1984—Maryland Heights, MO 63043
Please send me: Your payment is tax deductible. Payment by check
Bill Russell signed, numbered, | or money order. Credit Cards call 1-800-325-1488.
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Good while supplies last.

WING OF BEERS ANHEUSER-BUSCH. INC «ST LOUIS

174

and the соту: magic moments from

here we go again with the good, the bad.
^ 7 of the past 12 months

the cinematic output os
x

FACE iT. lt was a very bad year
Tor movies. In Chicago, critics
found themselves going back to
1979 for films to complete their
ten-best lists (citing the incredi-
ble Black Stallion). In New York,
one theater made money by run-
ning the 1979 hit La Cage aux
Folles—a quaint movie about
flaming gay-ety in France—for
82 consecutive weeks. L.A. film
critic Charles Champlin re-
signed from his beat in disgust,
saying that he could not write
about films if there were nothing
to write about. How did we find
enough films to rave about?
Well, like the man said, "It's a
dirty job, but someone has to do
it" Our staff diligently sought
out the best and the worst. At
times, it got confusing. A diet of
B movies can result in brain
damage. When it actually came
time to make an award for fa-
vorite film, our staff was divided
between Robert Redford's Ordi-
nary People and the Zucker

The Towering Inferno. АП of
Coal Miner's Daughter. The fight
scenes in Raging Bull. The spe-
cial effects in Altered States.
The camp creativity of Popeye
and Flash Gordon. Probably the
only film that had fun with itself
this year was Airplane!, which
had taken five years to get on-
screen. We asked its producers
if any parts had been left out.
They answered: “The following
is a list of scenes that were cut
from the final version of Air-
plane! (1) A ten-minute scene of
Bob Hays riding a mechanical
bull (cut because in several
frames you could see pubic
hair). (2) A half hour of Kareem
Abdul-Jabbar and Lloyd Bridges
swimming naked underwater
and discovering natural love
(cut because it was too violent).
(3) A flashback where the auto-
pilot goes into a sensory-
deprivation tank (cut because
studio chiefs felt it was too un-
realistic). (4) A huge production

brothers and Jim Abrahams' Air- number with 100 disfigured
plane! Class and glorious trash. There were some good dancers dressed as the Elephant Man singing Put On a
things in the movies. Magic moments. Ray Sharkey doing Happy Face (cut because the lyrics got muffled through
his moves offstage in Тһе Idolmaker. Leslie Quickley in the slurping). We hope these will be helpful. Please let us
Fame imitating O. J. Simpson waiting for the elevator in know if you need more." Believe us, we do need more.

There are moments in film in which
you see the raw stuff of life. Donald
Sutherland gets our vote for Ex-
traordinary Person, the man respon-
sible for the best moment in the
years best film, Ordinary People.
The confrontation between Suther-
land and his son's psychiatrist (Judd
Hirsch) is electric. He peels away
stiff upper lip and rigid demeanor to
get at his character's open wounds.

In a year in which box-office stars
bombed, the best work was done by
relative newcomers such as William
Hurt, Ray Sharkey, Sam Shepard,
Tim Hutton, Robert Hays and Yoda.
Our favorites? Wanted for Grand
Theft Movie are Dolly Parton and
Levon Helm—three of the best
things to hit Hollywood in years. By
doing what comes naturally, they
achieve professional performances.

Goldie Hawn gets our vote for Best
Heroine for producing and starring
in Private Benjamin. She deserves
an Oscar just for one scene, when
she listens to her parents telling the
Army why their princess must go
home with them. Doing so little and
saying so much, Goldie demon-
strates that the purest screen acting
is, indeed, photographed thought.

WRETCHED EXCESS, OR HOW
HOLLYWOOD SAVED CHRYSLER: A
few years ago, in The Boys in Com-
pany C, a sergeant in Vietnam asked
one of his soldiers if he had ever
spent $1,000,000. The guy said no,
so the sergeant had him call in an air
strike for the hell of it. We suspect
that the sergeant now works as a film
director. Smokey and the Bandit Il,
for example, spent $10,000,000 and
trashed 118 vehicles. The Blues
Brothers dropped $27,500,000 while
wiping out 73 vehicles. Used Cars
messed with about 200 cars and cost
$7,000,000. And all Chrysler wants
is $400,000,000. The award for truly
wretched excess goes to Michael
Cimino, the director of Heaven's Gate.
It seems that he wanted to film a
scene on the Oxford campus, under a
tree. He dug one up and had it trans-
planted for a reported $60,000. Then
the leaves fell off and had to be pinned
on. Only Cimino can make a tree.

All Darth Vader has is a breathing
problem and that fancy choke hold.
Marlon Brando is oily in The For-
mula, but any man who eats Milk
Duds can't be all bad. Our vote for
Best Villain goes to Max von Sydow,
alias Ming the Merciless, in Flash
Gordon. Any man who would feed
his daughter to bore worms is bad.
Then again, kids do need discipline.

MAGIC MOMENTS

WHO IS THE OTHER ONE? In 1980, we learned that Star Wars was a triple
trilogy. Two down, seven to go—and with each episode taking three years to
complete, we can expect to sit down for the final chapter in the year 2001.
Neat. That's one reason to support détente. In the meantime, speculation
about the epic saga has become as popular as Dungeons and Dragons. Our
favorite rumor: Yoda is not a special effect but merely the first extraterrestrial
to sign with the William Morris Agency. Elsewhere in the news: In the De-
cember 1980 issue of Fantastic Films, reporter Bill Hays suggests that
cloning is the key to the Star Wars puzzle. According to Hays, Darth Vader is
not Luke's father, but The Dark Lord and Luke's father come from the same
genetic donor (that's why Luke saw his own face behind the mask). Dad is
not dead but in hiding (he is the other one Yoda refers io). His disguise:
Boba Fett, the masked bounty hunter. Obi-Wan Kenobi is also a clone (OB-1),
whose twin is the emperor himself (that was Alec Guinness behind those
Foster Grants, right?). Only George Lucas knows for sure, and he's not telling.

Jake and Elwood, the notorious
Blues Brothers, deserve a special
award for Civic Pride and Fiscal
Patriotism. Perhaps the mayor of
Detroit should give them the keys to
the city—not for demolishing Ameri-
can-made cars but for rediscovering
Lady Soul. Aretha's song in the
diner has more fire than the rest of
the year's crop of movie musicals.

In 1980, Hollywood rediscovered
kids. Film makers took the likes of

Brooke Shields, Tatum O'Neal,
Kristy McNichol and Jamie Lee
Curtis and introduced them to pre-
cocious sex, skin display and ax
murders. Out of this chaos, Jodie
Foster emerged as the class act of
the decade. She has beauty, brains
and grace and two stunning 1980
performances in Carny and Foxes.

175

THE TACO JOKE: In Divine Madness,
the film of Bette Midler in concert, an
impassioned fan screams out a re-
quest for “the taco joke." Bette turns
him down, saying she wants the film
to play in Cleveland, but we won't.
The joke? "If God hadn't meant man
to eat pussy, why did He make it look
like a taco?" You heard it here first.

(e e

WHAT THE WELL-DRESSED MAN
WILL WEAR: It was a year of role
reversals. In American Gigolo, Rich-
ard Gere played a prostitute with a
heart of gold and a wardrobe by
Armani. Suddenly, it became chic to
show a man selecting ties and shirts
to set a mood for the evening. If it
gets you Lauren Hutton, that's terrific.

“Here’s Johnny!”
(Jack Nicholson, The Shining)

“How can you talk to a guy like that?
Next thing you know, he’s got you
hypnotized, and you're standing on a
corner in Hollywood, dressed like one
of the Pointer Sisters.”

(Friend warning Jodie Foster about
talking to a pimp in Foxes)

"| had a virgin once, had to go to
Guatemala for it. She was blind in one
eye and had a stuffed alligator that
Said WELCOME TO MIAMI BEACH.”

(Sam the scriptwriter in The Stunt
Man)

“I'm about as flamboyant as a bagel.”
(Maureen Teefy in Fame)

"| want to go out to lunch. I want to
be normal again.”
(Goldie Hawn in Private Benjamin)

"What were my son's last words?"
“I'm coming."

(Goldie to mother-in-law in Private
Benjamin)

"Woman, if you wanna keep that arm,
you better take it offa my husband."
(Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal
Miner's Daughter)

“Are you boys the police?”
"No, ma'am. We're musicians."
(The Blues Brothers)

THE ANSWER IS BLOWING IN THE
WIND: Perhaps the strangest story to
come out this year concerned the
fate of the cast and crew of The Con-
queror, shot in 1954 near St. George,
Utah—a mere 137 miles downwind
from Yucca Flat, site of the U.S.
atomic tests. Of the 220 people who
worked on the film, some 91 have
contracted cancer. Fatalities include
John Wayne, Susan Hayward and Dick
Powell. It would not be beyond Holly-
wood tastelessness to do a TV movie
on the affair, How I Stopped Living and
Learned to Worry About the Bomb.

"Have you ever been in a cockpit be-
fore? Have you ever seen a grown
man naked? Joey, did you ever hang
around a gymnasium? . . . You like
movies about gladiators? ... Have you
ever been іп a Turkish prison, Joey?"
(Peter Graves to boy in Airplane!)

"What a week to give up sniffing glue."
(Lloyd Bridges in Airplane!)

"Darling, you've not only kept your
fabulous figure, you've added so
much to it.”

(Kim Novak to Elizabeth Taylor in The
Mirror Crack'd)

“If you ever say another word about
me, or make another indecent pro-
posal, I'm going to get that gun of
mine and I'm going to change you
froma rooster to a hen with one shot.”
(Dolly Parton in Nine to Five)

"|f you are doing it, either you do it
or you doit.”

(Mafia thug to Ray Sharkey in The
Idolmaker)

“Never tell me the odds.”
(Han Solo in The Empire Strikes Back)

“Andrew, it costs extra to carve
ScHMUcK on a tombstone, but you
would definitely be worth the ex-
pense." (Lee Remick to Sam Wana-
maker in The Competition)

QUIZ TIME: All right,
perverts. Can you
name the movies at
right? From left, top
row: The first three
corpses are from Fri-
day the 13th, the
masked madman from
Terror Train. Bottom
row, from left: A sau-
sage maker from Motel
Hell, tropical head
from He Knows You're
Alone, Excedrin head-
ache #89, Scanners,
and perforated throat
from The Awakening.

YEAR OF THE PROTEST: Toward the end of the summer, critics began to complain about the crop of teenage-violence
movies. They deplored the random gore, the permissive sex, the brutality against women. We think they missed
the point. In movies such as Halloween, Prom Night, Terror Train, He Knows You're Alone, Mother's Day, Don't
Answer the Phone, Friday the 13th, there was a method to the mayhem. For one thing, women had at last obtained
equal rights: They were just as likely as the men to be chopped up, blown up, strung up, made into sausages,
whatever. In most of those pictures, the sole survivor was a woman, a virgin, usually played by Jamie Lee Curtis, who
showed resourcefulness and/or followed the cardinal rules of trash films: Don't sleep around, don't sleep, don't open
the door and, if you do, don't drop the butcher knife. Elsewhere in the news, it was a year of protest. Gays attacked
William Friedkin for his treatment of homosexuals in Cruising. Parents questioned the use of kids in The Blue Lagoon.
Students in the Midwest protested the violence against women in Dressed to Kill. Jake La Motta's brother sued Martin
Scorsese for the way he had been portrayed in Raging Bull. Country-music stars protested the credits to Honeysuckle
Rose, which seemed to list Willie Nelson as author of all the songs in the film (including Help Me Make It Through the
Night). You'd almost think the movies were as important as real life. Trouble is, lately they've been even dumber.

The Ten Worst Movies of 1980 The Ten Best Movies of 1980

{in alphabetical order) {in elphabeticalorder)

Any Which Way You Can: An orangutan in
heat, Ruth Gordon aa Bo Derek, Сич Eastwcod
in decine. Who could ask or anything less?

‘The Bive Brothare: Tho 1941 of 1080, taking
the rap lor all the Бо, bad movies with Saturday
‘Night Live alumni. Better luck this year, gang.

‘Caligule: Gross, repulsve—and if you think
Puvvpo-Fenthouse rivalry influenced my choice,
you musta missed the movie.

Cruising: Wiliam Friedkin blew it. with Pacino
miscast as adecoy cop playing queen in the gay
underworld.

The деа Singer: Ciaptrap but a landmark in
1927. aimlessly remade with Neil Diamond
swimming incisor’ shoes.

Raise the Titanic: А costly Low Grado epic
fom Sir Low Grade. They're stil searching for
survivors.

L Stardust Memoriea: Woody Allen weary of it
allin a whining noncomed.

Tribute: Fino work in a slight play when Jack
Lemmon did it on Broadway, terminal boredom
‘on the big screen

Xanadu: The LP has gone gold, o movie went
nowhere, Insiders swear Olivia Newion-John

жаз not played ny a Barbe dol
— а:

Runners-down: Fatso, Wholly Moses! ,
The Island, Smokey and the Bandit Il.

‘Airplane Tops ‘om ай for pure tun and out-
ous spoofery, though this year there wasn't
much conpelior

Breaker Morant: Searing indictment of mili-
'aryirjusico trom down under.

Con! Mizer'e Daughter: A country hi
Sissy Spacek wonderlul as Loretta Lynn.

The Empire Strike Back: Yoda weighs in
n the side of the good guys о rewhel appetites
lor Ster Wars ерізобез ad infinitum.

Mon Oncle @’Anérigue: The гагасе as
romantic comedy, innovatively rendered by
France's Alain Resnais.

Hine to Five: At last, some blithe spirits plug-
ging women's lib. A special double-barreled sa-
lute to Doly Parton.

Ordinary People: Win, piace or show, dirocior
Robert Redford's poignant family drama is the
pacesetter in the Oscar race.

‘The Shining: So let diehard Stephen King tans
sue me. In ту book. Kubrick is king.

The Brant Man: Peter OToole'srazze-dazzlo
performance hypes е movie-movie chock-full f
Surprises and temic special fects

‘Fess: Out of Thomas Haray, Roman Polanski
has wrought a siow but splendid star vehicle for
Nastassia Kinski.

Runners-up: The Great Santini, Private
Benjamin, Resurrection, Inside Moves.

HOLLYWOOD PAIRS: Some-
thing strange and un-Amer-
ican has been happening in
Tinseltown. Rumor has it that
certain actresses have taken
to using doubles for their
nude scenes. Is nothing sa-
cred? Jane Fonda, who won
our hearts and private parts
in Barbarella, apparently let
someone else sacrifice her-
self to art in Coming Home
back in 1978. Politics does
make strange bedfellows.
This year, there were two
blatant uses of stand-ins. The
producers of The Blue La-
goon wanted to avoid the
kid-porn issue, and so sub-
stituted a lithe lass of legal
age in the underwater-aquat-
ics scenes. Brooke Shields
fans had to make do with her
Calvin Klein ads. What we
don't understand is the use
of a substitute for Angie Dick-
inson, still one of the sexiest
ladies in cinema, in the
Dressed to Kill shower scene.

THEN AGAIN: Dressed to
Kill's pickup scene in the art
museum, culminating in back-
seat shenanigans in a taxi, is
Hollywood's first flirtation
with the zipless fuck. Unfor-
tunately, it terminates when
Angie opens the desk drawer
of her perfect stranger to find
a V.D. report. We had two
movies about ménages à
trois—A . Small Circle of
Friends featured Karen Allen
and Willie & Phil had Margot
Kidder—and two (A Change
of Seasons, Loving Couples)
on the same subject (adul-
tery, with the same star
(Shirley MacLaine), from the
same studio (Fox). Déjà view?

Once again, Hollywood avoided the het-
erosexual. The best chemistry occurred
not between men and women but between
best friends, brothers, fathers and sons.
Above, Robbie Robertson and Gary Busey

ттт шн

were side-kicks in Carny. The Long Riders
cast the Carradines, the Keaches and
the Quaids as the James-Younger gang
(above). Paternal instinct distinguished
One-Trick Pony, Popeye, Tribute, Ordinary

People, The Empire Strikes Back. Our ta-
vorite father-and-son duo was from Sho-
gun Assassin (above): Kramer vs. Kramer
with swords instead of French toast. |

IT'S NOT THE MEAT, IT'S THE MOTION: We recently saw an ad announcing the first Miss America Bikini Bull Riding
Contest. It will never replace the original. Debra Winger's pas de deux with the bull at Gilley's in Urban Cowboy was
the sassiest unassisted sex act in the history of cinema. Perhaps we should donate the bull to the Smithsonian.
Already there are signs that the country-and-western movement is fading. A bar in Chicago has removed its Gilley's
178 bull. We can see a cattle drive, with drovers on Harleys herding mechanical bulls down Main Street. Head 'em up.

pr feature scripts are registered
Writers Guild of America. Maybe 3000 properties
еа. Only 300 of those are shot. And only 100
the theaters. For every 40

only one film gets ma
еп wanted.
id to Һа

OR HOW TO BE
A HOLLYWOOD
PRODUCER:

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Thé Stunt Man

PLAYBOY

DOROTHY STRATTEN

(continued from page 152)

“Dorothy's family thought Paul was rude, self-cen-
tered and obnoxious, and they said so.”

You can see both Craig and me until you
know who you really want. By being
‘fair’ and ‘faithful’ to Craig, you're actu-
ally cheating yourself.”

Dorothy listened in silence, but she
knew Paul was right. She didn't love
Craig and thought there must be more to
life and love than what she had discov.
ered so far.

“I just followed my heart,” she would
remember. “For the first time in my life,
I worried about myself without worrying
about hurting somebody else.”

She had one more date with Craig,
and when he parked his car on a small
mountain road and started kissing her,
she told him she wanted to go home.

Dorothy knew she wasn’t the only girl
in Paul's life, but she stayed at home
waiting for him to call. At first the calls
came infrequently, but they increased as
Paul's interest in his latest teenage con-
quest grew.

He gave her presents. Dresses. Panty
hose. High-heeled shoes. He bought her
make-up and got angry if she forgot to
put it on when they were going out.

Dorothy's family hated Paul. They
thought he was rude, self-centered and
obnoxious, and they said so. The more
Nellie and the two younger children
argued against Paul, the more Dorothy
defended him.

Paul banged the door against Johnny's
bicycle coming into the house, He made
himself at home on Nellie's couch,
parked his boots on her coffee table. Nel-
lie thought he must be into something
crooked. He always had money to spend
without working for it.

Ten-year-old Louise couldn't under-
stand why her sister was spending so
much time with Paul instead of the fami-
ly. One night Dorothy tried to explain,
but Louise became angry and started to
cry. Dorothy persisted. Even though the
family disliked Paul, she said, she loved
him and he made her happy. He was the
first person ever to make her feel at-
tractive or important, she said,

Dorothy asked Louise if they cared for
her happiness or if they were only think-
ing of themselves. Louise said she under-
stood, and she was sorry. They hugged
each other and Dorothy helped her sister
dry her tears.

Dave Redlick saw Snider talking to
Dorothy at the Dairy Queen one day.
From then on, Snider waited for her out-
side in the car. Dave knew the bastard
and didn’t want him hanging around.
They'd both been part of the heavy-
duty biker crowd in their younger days

180 around the East End, members of a

cycle club called the Trojans. Dave had
gone into the bar business and now he.
owned and managed his own Dairy
Queen. Snider had dropped out of
school when he was 14 and he'd been in
trouble ever since.

Paul Snider grew up in an unhappy,
hostile home. His parents fought con-
stantly with each other and with their
children. Pauls father, who operated
clothing stores and, according to some
observers, a sweatshop, regularly told
his three sons that they'd never amount
to much.

As the eldest son, Paul was the most
resentful of his father's domination. He
was short and thin, and he lifted weights
until his biceps bulged. In his teens, һе
went to work for his father as a leather
cutter. He hated the work. His father
divorced his mother after 31 years of
marriage and replaced her with an at-
tractive sportswear buyer. According to
а family member, after the divorce,
when Paul asked his father for money
to pay for an operation for his mother,
his father refused.

Paul quit working for his father when
he turned 21. By then, he would later
tell a friend, he had been married and
divorced. His wife walked out on him.
and took their child. He swore no one
would ever do that to him again.

He started hanging out in Vancouver's
night world, Hornby Street and Gas-
town, districts of discos, bars and strip
joints, studying the pimps. When he
thought he was ready, he started small-
time pimping himself, a girl here, a girl
there. Pimping and promoting: He
groomed girls to become strippers. Paul
backhanded one of his girls in a club
called Oil Can Harry's one night and
got slugged in turn by the bouncer. He
burst into tears.

Snider sought out the company of the
city's black pimps, who bought him
drinks and tried to woo his girls away.
He liked flashy cars and began promot-
ing car shows in and around Vancouver.
He acquired a Cadillac with etched win-
dows; he acquired a Bentley that he
“converted” to a Rolls-Royce with a
switch of the radiator grille. He was
handy at metalworking—he'd cus-
tomized motorcycles in his biker days.
One of his scams was duplicating metal
sculptures from photographs of serious
artists’ work and hawking them out of a
lobby salesroom in a north Vancouver
hotel. He also worked a couple of girls
out of rooms upst:

One of Snider's girls was also the girl-

friend of a narcotics dealer who was
serving a short jail sentence. Snider and
the girl ran through $15,000 of the man’s
money. When the dealer got out, he
hung Snider by his heels from a top-floor
window of a downtown hotel. Snider
paid the dealer with borrowed money
and left town fearing for his life. He
spent the next year in San Francisco and
Las Vegas, then drifted down to Los
Angeles. During the summer of 1977 he
promoted two car shows in L.A. They
both flopped, leaving a number of un-
happy investors. When Snider returned
to Vancouver, he concentrated on car
shows and similar promotional schemes,
avoiding any serious trouble. He was
afraid someone would have him taken
care of if he didn't.

Dave Redlick figured Snider for a thor-
oughly bad guy. He warned Dorothy to
stay away from him. Dorothy looked up
to Dave, but she didn't sce how he could
be right about Paul. The Paul Dave
told her about wasn’t the Paul she knew.
She thought people misunderstood him.
If Paul had made mistakes, they were a
thing of the past.

Dorothys friend Cheryl disagreed.
One night at Pharaoh’s, a Gastown disco,
she watched Dorothy sit quietly at their
table while Paul danced with one wom-
an after another. Cheryl joked that when
Paul told Dorothy to jump, she asked
how high. Paul told Dorothy to stop
seeing Cheryl and Dorothy complied.

"Ina year we're going to find Dorothy
dead in an alley,” Cheryl predicted.

Just before graduation, Dorothy quit
the Dairy Queen. Dave Redlick expected
she would. Most of his girls did when
they graduated. On her last day, he gave
her a bouquet of roses.

She graduated from Centennial in a
long, white, low-cut dress Paul had given
her. Nellie didn't like the dress. Her
standards of modesty were Old World
standards. She hadn't seen her daughter
naked since Dorothy was a little girl.
The dress, and Paul's rudeness, ruined
the graduation for Nellic.

On the way to her graduation dance,
Paul took Dorothy to the studio of pho-
tographer Uwe Meyer and she posed for
her first formal portrait.

The British Columbia Telephone
Company hired Dorothy as a clerk-typist
in early July. She was proud of her
new job at B.C. Tel, but she was begin-
ning to take steps toward a life beyond
Vancouver.

In the summer of 1978, PLAYBOY was
engaged in The Great Playmate Hunt—
a highly publicized search for the girl
to be featured in the centerfold of the
magazine's 25th Anniversary Issue. Doro-
thy didn’t really believe she was beauti-
ful. When people stared at her on the
street, she wondered if her make-up was
smeared or her dress torn. Paul con-
vinced her to take the chance. One

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PLAYBOY

182

afternoon she posed for a nude test
shooting by Meyer at Paul's apartment.

Paul had promised Meyer the $1000.
Playmate Finder's Fee if Dorothy was
accepted, bur he later reneged on his
promise. He used Meyer's photographs to
interest the better-known Vancouver pho-
tographer Ken Honey in shooting her.
Honey had already discovered several
Canadian girls who had become Play-
mates.

Ken would agree to a test shooting
only if Dorothy's mother cosigned the
model release. Nellic was away at the
time, visiting her mother in Holland,
but Paul returned with a signature and
Ken proceeded with plans for the test.

Dorothy liked Ken Honey. She
couldn't believe he was a photographer.
fied and polite; she thought.
he looked like somebody's grandfather.
They scheduled the shooting for late
afternoon, after she finished work at
B.C. Tel. Paul couldn't be there. He was
busy setting up one of his car shows

Posing for Honey was easier than
Dorothy had expected. She wasn’t nerv-
ous this time. Paul's absence helped.
The only anxious moment cime when
Ken suggested trying some shots on the
сопу before they lost the late-afte
noon light. They attracted the attention
of a couple of guys in the next building.
Dorothy panicked, covering herself with
a towel,

‘It took Ken ten minutes to persuade
me to take the towel off again,” she
remembered.

Ken had the film processed. The next
day he mailed a dozen color transp:
encies to Marilyn Grabowski. PLAYBOY'S
West Coast Photo Editor, in Los Angeles.

Marilyn's secretary logged in the pack-
ge on Friday, August 11, 1978. Along
with the photographs, Ken sent a stand-
d Playmate Data Sheet filled ош by
Dorothy. She described herself as shy,
very sensitive, romantic, fussy. She said
she hoped the РІ perience
would help her gain more confidence in
herself.

In the space intended for her father's
name, she wrote: "Parents divorced.
or her fathers occupation she put:
bouts unknown." Her care
ions were simple: "I would like to
star of sorts.”
lyn was impressed by the photos.
She thought Dorothy deserved serious
consideration in the 25th Anniversary
Playmate. Hunt, which would end on

August 31. Glamor photographer Mario
Casilli, who had photographed more

Playmate centerfolds in the previous
two decades than any other man in the
world, was available that weekend. Maj
lyn called Ken Honey in Vancouver and
asked him to arrange for Dorothy to fly
to L.A. on Sunday morning.

Ken found Dorothy working as cashier
at Paul's car show. When he told her
the news, she was ecstatic. Not Paul.

He was annoyed. He was in the mid-
dle of a show and he couldn't trust any-
one but Dorothy to handle the cash. He
didn't want her to go to L.A. alone,
as Ken advised she should. Paul never
ed a deal unless he had control. He
thought Dorothy's career was his deal.

It was the biggest decision. Doroth
had ever faced. Her mother wasn't there
to help her decide. She asked her 16-year-
old brother, John, without telling him
the offer came from rtaynoy. John, who
despised Paul, was suspicious. He told
his sister not to go. She drove down to
the East End and talked to a friend of
her mother's who was like an aunt to her.
The talk helped. Dorothy made up her
mind. She decided to go to L.A

ay morning, Dorothy flew to
.os Angeles. She had never been in a
ne before. When the jet took off, she
presed her face to the window, and it
was still pressed to the window when she
landed at LAX two and a half hours
ter. А long, black limousine was wait-
for her. She had never seen a Ji
sine up close, much less ridden
She couldn't believe this was happening
to her. The chauffeur tried to make con-
versation, but Dorothy just got quicter
and quicter.

Marilyn Grabowski ived at the
Playboy Building on Sunset Boulevard
just as Dorothy's limousine was pulling
up. As impressed as Marilyn had been
with Ken Honey's test shooting. she
wasn't prepared for the real thing-

“Dorothy was very blonde and very

tall. She wore a simple but quite smash-
g black jump suit.” Marilyn remem-
bers. “My first impression, as she got out
of th mousine, was that this was not
an un experience for her. As I
walked up to her and introduced myself,
I realized I was wrong. | remember
thinking: Here is a very young woman

playing grownup. Her vulnerability
drew an immediate, protective response
from me.

“We went into my office and chatted
while we waited for Mario Casilli to
rive. Actually, I chatted. Dorothy hard-
1 a word except in response to
direct questions. I certainly didn't see
any of the unique personality that would
emerge in the months ahead. But what-
ever her inner feelings were, there was
always that wonderfully engaging smile

Mario and Dorothy spent the after-
moon shooting at his studio in а
converted publiclibrary building in

Altadena, a suburb of Los Angeles. Doro-
thy wrote in her journal: “I was a little
g stark-naked in front of a
stranger, but after a while, I became
more relaxed and got into 1 could
even say it was fun.” She napped on the
drive back into L.A.

Marilyn had asked Casilli to return
Dorothy to her office after the photo

session. Dorothy would be stay
Guest House of Playboy Mansion West.
Because of her shyness, Marilyn wanted
to accompany her there and help with
introductions.

"The big iron gates slowly opened,”
Dorothy would write, remembering her
first visit to the Playboy Mansion.
“The scenery was incredible. There
was a forest surrounding the winding
drive, Then I saw the Mansion. I had
never seen anything so huge. I felt like
1 had just walked into a storybook.” The
Mansion is a gothic castle on a wooded
hill, with marble statuary, fountains,
waterfalls. There is even a wishing well.
Dorothy in Oz about to meet the Wizard.

It was late Sunday afternoon, a time
when Hefner and his friends customarily
gather for an afternoon buffet, to be fol-
lowed by a movie in the spacious Living
Room. Several dozen guests were already
on hand, mingling at the bar and at
tables on the poolside patio.

Dorothy met three Playmates who were
also staying in the Mansion Guest House.
She also met Hefner's social secretary,
Joni M a former Playmate who has
worked for Playboy for 20 years.

Heiner appeared, wearing pajamas
and a tailored robe. He held a pipe in
onc hand and a Pepsi in the other. He
worked his way slowly through the
crowd, greeting guests and talking cas-
ually with friends.

Marilyn introduced
Het thought she was poi
Her nervousness didn't show. She re-
membered later: “As I was shaking his
hand, I thought my knees were going to
go out from under me. He was the first
famous person I had ever met" He
didn't act like a celebrity, she decided.
“He was a human being. He had hands
and arms and legs and a face just like
everyone else. It took me a while to get
over that.

Dorothy was introduced to Patrick
Curtis, a former child actor (Leave It to
Beaver), now a producer, who was
once married to Raquel Welch. Marilyn
had a dinner engagement elsewhere.
She asked Patrick to look after Dorothy
that evening. Recently divorced again
and lonely, Curtis was delighted. He
guided Dorothy through the buffet
linc and sat with 1 during dinner.
Afterward he took her on a tour of the
property. On a secluded path in the
redwood forest that covers one side of
the estate, he moved to kiss her. "I. told
him I wasn’t there for that purpose,"
Dorothy would record. “He smiled and
we walked back up to the house. There
was a movie playing the Living
Room. We started to watch it. The day
seemed like a lifetime by then. Е was so
exhausted I asked Patrick to walk me to
my room. He did and said good night
at the door and I was soon into sweet

m to Dorothy.
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PLAYBOY

dreams, awaiting the morning.”

Dorothy spent all day Monday shoot-
ing with Mario. She decided he was “the
sweetest man in the world.” Marilyn
told her at the end of the day that her
appearance as a Playmate was assured.
They would need at least two weeks to
complete principal photography for her
centerfold and the picture story that
went with it.

Dorothy flew home to Vancouver on

"Tuesday —" Maybe Т was leaving a dream
or maybe I had just started walking into
one"—to пу to arrange a leave of ab-
sence from B.C. Tel The company
would allow her only a week, and that
wasn't enough timc. Her excitement
irritated Paul. "I think he got a little
jealous and maybe he was worried," she
decided. Dorothy had another difficult
decision to make. and again she made it
herself. She quit her job and returned
to L.A. on Thursday.
"So I lived at Hugh Hefner's Mansion
for three weeks, and worked with Mario
almost every day.” The hardest part was
posing for the centerfold, shot with a
stationary 8 x 10 camera in a studio. The
photographer disappears behind the
camera, lights are adjusted, make-up im-
proved, accessories changed, poses modi
fied. The process is long and often tiring,
but Dorothy rarely complained. She
scemed to enjoy the challenge

The smallcamera sessions were pure
pleasure, with Dorothy changing poses
almost as idly as Mario could shoot
them. "We had a lot of good times while
we worked," she said. "We made cach
other laugh.

Casilli thought she enjoyed being pho-
tographed. She reminded him of a little
girl playing make-believe. Secret dreams
and fantasies. long locked inside her,
found expression in front of the сате!
With training this girl could be a damn
good actress, Mario thought.

On her first morning at the Mansion,
Dorothy had felt uncasy with the casual
nudity of the other Playmates dressing
in the Guest House. At breakfast it had.
taken a long time for her to work up
enough courage to give her order to a
butler. But within a week, a different
Dorothy began to emerge—more confi-
dent, more outgoing and yery much at
home in this new environment.

“I was living a wonderful life in the
warin sunshine,” she wrote in her jour-
nal, “being catered to 24 hours a day,
butlers to feed me, maids to clean my
room. I could have anything I wanted
and more.

"Usually, when I got horne, I ate and
went straight to bed. Sometimes I would.

stay up for a while aud talk to Hcf

and his friends in the Living Room or
play pinball in the Game House with
the girls. On Friday and Sunday nights
there was a buffet and movie. Friends
would come over and visit and have a

184 good time."

Paul Snider phoned constantly. He
called Dorothy; he called Marilyn Gra:
bowski; he called Mario. He called two,
three and sometimes four times a day.
He couldn't understand why the pho-
tography was taking so much time. Не
was suspicious; he thought someone
must be doing a number on Dorothy's
head. Не asked Mario how she liked it
therc. Mario told him hc thought she
was more excited by the limousine that
drove her to and from his studio each
day than anything else. When Mario and
his crew took Dorothy to Vancouver in
early September to shoot on location,
Paul met them at the airport with a
rented limousine. “You guys take a cab,
he told Маг he limousine is for
Dorothy and me."

Dorothy told Nellie that she was mod-
eling. She didn't tell her yet that she
was modeling for rLaysoy. She didn't
think her mother would approve.

After Mario left ncouver, with her
Playmate appearance confirmed, Paul
told Dorothy he wanted to get married.
She hesitated; she wasn’t certain she was
ready to marry yet. But Paul persisted
nd she agreed to an engagement.
Patrick Curtis had become a good
friend. He'd shown Dorothy around L.A.
while she was there and she had lived for
brief time at his house. Now she called
him from Vancouver. Could she and her
boyfriend stay at his house until they
found an apartment? Patrick, who
agined Paul to be someone special if
Dorothy loved him, agreed. When they
arrived, he was appalled at the pushy,
crude hustler who moved in with her.
Curtis was happy that he was kept away
by business much of the time they were
there. The couple stayed two months,
and in all the time they lived with him,
Patrick never saw any sign of genuine
affection between them.

The decision on the 25th Anniversary
Playmate was made in mid-September.
From several thousand candidates, the
choices finally came down to two stun-
ning women: Candy Loving and Dor-
оу. Candy was chosen because she was
a senior in public relations at the Uni-
versity of Oklahoma, and better able to
handle the promotional responsibi
that went with the title.

Dorothy, who shortened her name to
Stratten for professional reasons,
scheduled to appear as the August 1979
Playmate. By then, it was felt, she would
have enough poise and self-confidence
to appear before the public and the
press.

Hefner first met Snider at a Hallow-
cen costume party at the Mansion. Hef
hadn't seen Dorothy since her return to
L.A. and he greeted her warmly. She
introduced him to Paul. They were an
incongruous couple, She a shimmering
angel in white satin, He, several inches

shorter even in lifts, was dressed as a
pimp. Hefner was appalled.

He was concerned enough about the
relationship to have Snider checked out
with the Vancouver police, but they had
nothing on him in their computers.

Dorothy went to work as a Bunny
in the Los Angeles Playboy Club in
November. She wanted to study acting,
hoping for a carcer. Patrick Curtis sent
her to an agent friend who gave her the
names of three teachers. Meet with all
three, he advised, and go with the one
you like the best. Dorothy and Paul
chose Richard Brander, whose class of
ten met twice weekly in Sherman Oaks.

Brander found vulnerability under
Dorothy's obvious sexual appeal, vul-
nerability that reminded him of Marilyn
Monroe. He thought Dorothy had star
quality. She learned quickly: she could
learn to act. Brander was surprised to
discover that Paul had talent, too, but
Paul wasn't interested in acting. He
confessed that he came to class only to
watch over Dorothy.

Paul and Dorothy took a small apart-
ment in Westwood. To help with the
rent, they asked a young actress they'd
met in class named Molly to share the
apartment with them. She agreed. A de-
vout Lutheran, Molly blessed the apart-
ment when they moved in.

Paul didn't look for work. He was
too busy planning new deals. But noth-
ing he touched worked out. He came
close once a scheme that involved a
West Los Angeles disco called Ch
dales He approached manager
Banarjee with a promotion. Disco was
dying, and Banarjee was ready to try
anything. Paul got his idea from Misty
a club in Vancouver: male strippers for
female audiences. He supplied the strip-
pers in exchange for the adm
proceeds; Banarjee took the bar business.

То Banarjee’s surprise, women
mobbed the place. But he and Snider
soon had a falling out. In the past,
Snider's business partners invariably
wound up loser, but this time it was
Paul who got stuck—netting only a few
hundred dollars after expenses.

Dorothy was earning money from her
parttime job as a Playboy Club Bunny.
Paul spent it. It worried her to have to
support them both. She and Molly would
go home the middle of the day and
Paul would still be sleeping. Or they'd
find him lying on the couch, watching
‘TV with the drapes drawn. He kept the
apartment dark, even in the daytime.
Other times he'd be on the phone for
what seemed like hours, king new
deals. He was pushing wet-T-shirt con-
tests, wet-underwt contests, a “hand-
somest тап in L.A.” contest. But nothing

s working.

Paul constantly bullied Dorothy and
routinely berated her. When she wasn't
(continued on page 216)

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GOOD ROCKIN’ TONIGHT (continued from page 144)

“Shes leaving her husband and Pm leaving my wife,

and everything’s going to be like it was.

married Calvin, and now 17 years
had flashed by like nothing at all.

"We've got a condo in Vero," she said,
"and one in Aspen, and last year we
went skiing at Sundance and Lisa had
her picture taken with Robert Redford.”
Lisa?" Bubba asked in a flat voice.

“My daughter,” she said, showing us
another picture. "That's her with her
Arabian stallion. She loves horses.”

She showed us the rest of the house.
We stood for a moment at the door of.
Calvin's study, like visitors at a museum.
looking into one of those rooms closed
off with a velvet rope. Calvin had a col-
lection of beer cans, one from every
country in the world; a pair of expensive
shotguns; and a lamp shade made of
PLAYBOY centerfolds. I had already no-
ticed his radar-equipped bass boat in the
driveway.

In the bedroom, she slid back the
closet door and showed us her $500 Ital-
n shoes. Bubba just looked at her and
d, “You know you broke my heart,
don't you?"

"Oh, Bubba, don't say that. It sounds
so horrible. And. anyway, how could I
know you cared that much? Look here."

She took from under her costly shoes
the old high school ook; and there,
on the same page, were their pictures.
"Their faces were soft and unformed but
shining with a sort of light. Bubba had
a flattop with "fenders"—long on the
sides and short on the top. Over his face
he had written, in blue ballpoint pen:
“Had a lot of good times with you and
hope to see more of you next year.
Bubb:

"Couldn't you have said more than
that?” she asked, tears in her eyes. “How
was I to know I was so important to
you?”

“In those days," Bubba said, “you won
the game of love by pretending you
didn’t care. Yeah, that’s all we thought
Jove was, a game. But it turned out to
be a more serious game than we
thought.’

At this point, I left the room, phoned
a cab and went back to the Holiday Inn.
I don’t think they missed me. It rained,
and there I spent the rest of the after-
noon watching Return to Earth, a TV
movie about the life of an astronaut,
and drinking Jack Ра
Bubba came back. "Well, big brother
he said, "it's all settled. She's leaving her
husband and I'm leaving my wife, and
everything’s going to be like it was.”
He'd been walking around in the rain
and his clothes were soaked.

But I was skeptical that Bubba could.

so easily turn back the clock. Now that
he'd become a star, he thought anything
was possible. To me, he was like that
astronaut who'd achieved his boyhood
dream and went to the moon; but soon-
er or later, he had to come back down
to carth and be an ordinary person like
the rest of us. On the planc home, Bubba.
turned to me and said, “Big brother, I'm
going to tell you something. You're the
only one who'll understand."

Yes, Bubba?

“My whole life, I've felt like I was in.
the wrong body or something. But when
Im Elvis. . . 1 got it right. I'm the
person I should have been, the person
I've always known I could be.”

Now it struck me that this was what
Bobby Joe Pitts, the would-be transsex-
ual, had said. Like Bubba, he only felt
like himself when he was somebody else.

“Do you know what Im saying?"
Bubba whispered, holding my shoulder
in an iron grip.

Yes, І knew. At the best moments of
my life—when I hit a good golf shot or
had a woman I adored—]1 felt like some-
one else. A version of me, maybe, but a
version that was to Ross Moody what а
Cadillac Eldorado was to a Ford Pinto. I
doubted you could totally become that.
perfect version of yourself. Bubba felt
that way now, but he could not be El
Tex As for the rest of his life.

But that was the happiest I ever saw
Bubba. On this flight, we had, instead of
a stewardess, a male flight attendant.
Ordinarily, Bubba would have made
some sarcastic comment; but on that
day. he seemed at peace with himself. I
slept most of the way, but once I woke
up. Bubba, in the hollow roar of the cab-
in, was looking through the porthole апа
smiling down at the dark world below.

When he broke the news to his wile,
Jan, she knew just how to take it: like
Jill Clayburgh in that movie about the
New York woman, nodding, her cyes
closed, finishing his sentences for him.

“And so,” he said, “L am going to"

“Move out. All right, buster, go ahead.
Do yourself a big favor.”

They were standing in the den, and
she poked through the big glass bowl on
top of the television set full of match-
books from every restaurant. they'd ever
been to.

"You'd just better get yourself a good
lawyer," she told him.

‘The strange thing, he said, was that
she seemed almost glad. Here it was, the
crisis predicted so often. Now she would
learn to think of herself and be happy

(like Rhoda once she got rid of that slob,
Joe), maybe even write a book. The pos-
sibilities were endless.

“There is one more thing,” Bubba
said. “Here is a list of our close friends
whom I do not want you to sleep with,
as they would be laughing at me behind
my back.”

“Thank you;
what to do with i

She slept with the first one, Bubba’s
boss а! the Prudential, that very night;
and spent the rest of the week working
her way down the list.

Nancy Jo also left Calvin Sloate but,
on the advice of a girlfriend, went to a
therapist, and the first thing he did was
tell her not to make any more sudden
moves,

She phoned Bubba and said, “I'm liv-
ing in an apartment complex with plas-
tic ivy on the walls. There's nobody
here but kids; and my lawyer says I
won't get any kind of settlement, since
I moved out. Bubba, I'm having second
thoughts."

So Bubba sped down to Houston, even
though he was starting another tour in
a few days. Nancy Jo wouldn't see him
right away: She had to look through her
appointment book and set a date. When
they finally got together, all she would
do was talk for hours. She had a whole
new vocabulary and she wouldn't drink
bloody marys anymore, just white wine
and something called Amaretto, which
Bubba said tasted like Log Cabin syrup.

She was changing, slipping away; but
Bubba was desperate to prove he could
accept her under any conditions. He
went to see her therapist himself and
even took her to a Woody Allen movie.

I didn't see Bubba for months. At the
end of his tour, he phoned from Abilene
and asked if I'd come down. I found him
that night at the Cross Plains Motel, a
real dump.

His appearance shocked me: Неа
gained maybe 40 pounds. He said, "Did
you bring your little black bag?”

“Yeah. What for?

“You got any speed

I was offended and told him to forget
it. He said it was hard for to keep
his weight down, being on the road and
all and cating nothing but junk food.
But I wouldn't be talked into it. Then I
went right into the john and flushed
all my pills down the toilet.

When I came back out, Bubba was
talking to Floyd, who had his hair dyed
red. I sat down and noticed my chair
had a Rocking R brand on the arm. It
was Roy Rogers furniture, probably
bought for some kid 30 years ago, and it
had ended up here in this terrible motel.
For the first time, I glimpsed the sadness
of being on the road singers talk about,
and thought it was getting to Bubba.

Floyd said he had a girl for Bubba.
"Tell her Ill meet her in one hour,”

she said. “I know just

189

PLAYBOY

190

. “The usual conditions.”

The conditions under which Bubba
met his fans were these: They had to be
between the ages of 35 and 45, they had
to provide their own car and they had to
park on a dirt road on the edge of town.
When Bubba appeared in the Eldorado,
they flashed their lights if it was safe.
Then Bubba parked and came ahead on
foot, bringing his own bottle.

I thought this was a foolish, adolescent

thing to do, and told him so.
You know, brother,” he said
feel sorry for you. You been fooling
around with women's private parts for
so long you've forgotten what they're
for."

Like everything Bubba said, there was
some truth to this. In my years as a gyne
cologist, I'd examined most of the girls
Fd worshiped in high school, and it
meant less than nothing to me. It made
me wonder about my choice of profes-
n.

"When are you playing Las Vegas?" I
asked him.

"Colonel Parker says I'm not ready
for Vegas. I need one more thing to put
me over the top—plastic surgery, so I'm
identical to Elvis. ‘Course, there'll be
no goin’ back—but it's worth it if it
gets me to Caesars Palace."

“No,” I said. “No, Bubba. You can't
do that."

“Why not?”

I couldn't exactly say, but I was think-
ing: If he loses his face, he loses himself.

“Bobby Joe Pitts decided not to," I
said.

“Bobby Joe Pitts?”

“You know. The plastic surgeon told
him he should try living like a woman.
Well, he joined a women’s group, and
now he's changed his mind. He says he
thought men were boring, but women

have the most boring conversations in
the world.”

This got my brother furious. “Ате you
ng me to some miserable litle
pervert? Christ, Bobby Joe . . - he
wore a brassiere under his football jersey
the whole senior year. And we thought
he was joking!

“Will Nancy Jo love you if you don't
have your own face?"

He took a pistol out of the desk
drawer, a Colt Python, and spun it
around his finger and said, "Nancy Jo
doesn't know what she wants. Last time
I talked to her, she said she wanted
space. I said, "Hell, you can have all the
space you want, once we're married.”
He aimed the pistol at the television
screen, where Elvis was singing to Ann-
Margret. It was a reshowing of Viva Las
Vegas on cable TV.

“His voice sorta went to pieces, didn't
it?” Bubba said. “Frankly, I think I'm
better now than he ever was."

“Bubba, put down that gun.”

"Come on," he said. "I'm going to get
some nooky."

So Floyd drove us out to the edge of
town, where we parked on a dirt road
and could see ahead, dimly, the outline
of another сат.

"She's not flashing her lights,"
"It must not be safe yet.”

I rolled down the window. There was
a full moon that night and I thought I
could hear the distant yip of coyotes.

When I mentioned it, Floyd said,
"Ain't no more coyotes in this county.
Farmers wiped them out with traps and
poisoned bait."

Still, I thought I could hear them, as
І had on so many nights when we'd
driven out on Red River Road.

“ро you have to do this, Bubba? What
about Nancy Jo?"

"A man's got to get his satisfaction.

Floyd

And if you can't be near the one you
love, love the опе you're near."

The headlights of the other car flashed.

Bubba opened the door.

“Don’t go. Bubba.”

“You know, big brother,” he said, “you
ought to come with me. It would do you
good to see how those ladies give me all
that good X-rated sex they been hold-
ing out on their husbands all these
years." He came around and opened my
‘Just stand outside and listen. She
won't mind. Thrill to the days of yester-
year, big brother. Come along with me
and I'll show you how good that low-rent
lovin’ can still be.”

And, God help me, I did. My heart
was pounding, but I stepped out of the
car and followed my brother down that
road in the moonlight.

“You know, Bubba, you are a devil.
You have the damnedest way of getting
people to do what you want.”

"Don't I know it?”

“You were right about me being а
gynecologist and all. Somehow, I lost
interest in women. It just slipped away
from me like everything else."

“The things closest to you go first,” he
said. “They slip away so softly you don't
notice. You wake up one morning the
stranger in a strange land.”

“You're right," I said.
are... everything."

Yeah, verily, good buddy."
ех may be the secret of American
life. In fact, I see поз...

But I don't know SE 1 saw, for what
happened next drove everything out of
my head. "The headlights of the car came
on, blinding us, and we heard a male
voice say, “Try to screw my wife, will
you, you sons of bitches! ГЇЇ kill you!”
Then a shotgun went off and I heard
the shot rip through the air right over
our heads. The car was rolling toward

“But women

“It must be another group out to save us.”

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PLAYBOY

us and Bubba and I were running back
down the road.

“The fence, big brother,” Bubba
shouted, “hit for the fence And I
dove under it, the barbed wire tearing
the coat right off my back. Then we were
stumbling through the prickly pear, the
shotgun still going off and one pellet
stinging the back of my neck like a
yellow jacket.

Bubba grabbed me and threw me
down. The car stopped and a spotlight
probed around until it found us. Bubba
leaped up, his fists balled, a foolhardy,
magnificent sight. I thought: This is the
end of your life, Ross.

Then we heard Floyd laughing and
barking like a dog. “Come out, come
out, wherever you are, Elvi

It was all a big joke.

Bubba picked up a clod and threw it
at the car, but Floyd only laughed hard-
er. The band had been in on it—I could
hear them laughing, too. My face was
scratched and my palms were full of
cactus thorns, and J could feel cold air
on my back where my jacket had been
ripped off.

Bubba climbed over the fence and
threw himself at Floyd. They circled in
the headlights, Bubba throwing wild
punches and Floyd dodging them, shout-
ing, "Shitfire and save matches, Bubba.
Can't you take a joke?”

“Joke! We coulda been hurt running
around in that goddamned cactus patch.”

“Oh, hell, you're just pissed off "cause
we pulled that same trick on you in high
school. I never thought you'd be stupid
enough to fall for it twice.”

That stopped Bubba. “All right,” he
said. "So I did. But this time it wasn't
funny. We're grown men now, not high
school kids.”

Floyd kept laughing.

“All right, Floyd, you're fired. Tha
right. I'm giving you notice.”

Somebody from the band stepped for-
ward and said he thought Bubba was
being too harsh, and Bubba fired him,
too. He looked around and said, “Апу-
body else?”

Then everybody said it was fine with
them; they were getting fed up with
Bubba, anyway. There were some bitter
words. It ended up with us going back
to the motel and them going off to a
honky-tonk to get drunk.

On the way back, Bubba began won-
dering where he was going to get another
band. His troubles were multiplying and
he said, "Maybe 1 should just shoot
myself.

"Don't talk that way, Bubba."

At the motel, the television was still
on, nothing showing on the screen now
but snow. I went into the bathroom,
threw my torn jacket in the trash can
and started putting iodine on the
scratches on my face. The shot lifted me

152 right off the floor.

He was sitting on the bed, holding
the pistol. The television was exploded,
a bullet through the picture tube. “I
always wanted to know how he felt when
he did that," Bubba said. "Now I know."

Things went downhill fast after that.

My brother never found another band.
The bookings dried up and Colonel
Parker lost interest. The IRS was now
investigating Bubba's income taxes and,
in the middle of it all, he got a Dear
John letter from Nancy Jo saying she'd
llen in love with her psychiatrist.
He went down to Houston with the
idea of confronting her but, instead,
went to Calvin Sloate’s house. Calvin
himself answered the door and Bubba
said, “I'm the son of a bitch who ran
off with your wife.”

"I know,” Calvin said. “You're Bubba
Moody. Come on in and let's let it all
hang out."

Bubba, feeling numb all over, walked
into Lisa's room. She was lying on. her
bed under a John Travolta poster.

"Your mother doesn't love me any-
morc," he said.

"I know. I think she's ma
mistake.’

“You're the closest thing to her, the
way she once was,” Bubba said. “You
beautiful.”

“Thanks, Bubba. I like your looks,
too."

“Will you marry me?"

“Are you scrious?”

“Dead seriou he said, and kissed
her on her teenage lip:

When he turned around, Calvin was
standing in the door.

Bubba phoned from Houston and said
he'd been shot in the leg. It was nothing
serious—Calvin had used a .99 target
pistol. Before I left, I went over to tell
Jan, who'd just gotten back from a trip
to Las Vegas with Harley Otis. When I
got there, she was gluing silver dollars
to the top of the coffee table.

"Look here at all the money I won.”
she said. “Seems like my luck just won't
quit.”

When she heard about Bubba, she
said, "That's his problem. All that's be-
hind me now. I'm starting ove

She disappeared into the kitchen and
1 was left alone with the television. Tom
Snyder was interviewing a judge in Cali
fornia who'd started divorcing 50 people
in a group. There were no lawyers re-
quired, he just asked everyone if they
had reconcilable differences, When
they said they did, he pronounced them
divorced and they headed for the door.
The men moved slowly, but the women
were smiling and hopeful, and I thought
how much better women seemed to ad-
just to modern life. “So would you say
this is . the coming u Tom
Snyder asked, and the judge said it wa:

g a big

“Notice anything different?” she said,
coming back into the room.

“No. Is your hair shorter?"

She told me she'd had
tions. "Come on, Ross
breasts always drooped.”

Хо, Jan. Гуе never noticed."

She put down her glass of white wine
and lay on the floor. "See? They're nice
and hard. They're the same standing
up or laying down. They're just like
doorknobs.

“I honestly
Jan.”

She leaned so close I could feel her
breath on my check. “Go ahead and put
your hand on them. I don't mind. Feel
the difference for yourself.”

1 excused myself and drove home, the
whole side of my face burning like I'd
stood too close to a hot stove.

So Bubba never got his plastic surgery
or a trip to Las Vegas (although his wife
did). He ended up driving a truck again,
but to me he secmed happier, and 1
found I enjoyed knowing him more than
І had since we were kids, He still, how-
ever, had his problems with the IRS,
and one night, in the dead of that win-
ter, he tapped on my patio doors. We
t outside, in the darkness, while my
atched Family Feud. (She seemed
to draw strength from that program:
She never missed it.)

"The Government lawyers are coming
Monday,” Bubba sa nd I'm liable
to do a couple of years in prison

I told him I'd lend him money, but
he said after the divorce he couldn't
face going to court again.

"Lets take onc last ride out Red
River Road," he said, "in case I never
see it again.’

So we took a six-pack and drove out
and parked on the edge of town, where
the pumping jacks rose and fell in the
fields on cither side.

“You know,” he said, “Elvis himself
couldn't make it today. Everything today
glorifies the loser, the person who can't
help himself. Someone like me doesn't
stand a chance. Yeah, it’s the decade of
the loser; and it's the losers who did
me in. Come on, big brother, let's go
ride those pumping jacks.”

So we did. He could always talk me

into anything. He sat on one end and
Lon the other, hanging on lor dear life,
nd we rose and fell like two kids on a
gigantic seesaw.
“Well, if that’s the way this country’s
going to be,” he shouted over the roar
of the diesel, “they can have it. I want
no part of it. ГІ go right on, trying to
do the impossible. Look, big brother,"
he said, reaching over his head as the
pumping jack rose, “1 can touch the
moon.”

Then he fell off. I thought he was
dead. But he groaned and threw up in

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PLAYBOY

the weeds, and I cleaned him off as best
1 could.

“We'd better go home, Bubba," I said.

"He never died," Bubba said. "Not
reall

"He did die, Bubba. Of a heart at-
tack. We've all got to get older and di

“No, big brother. I'll let you in on a
secret. You and I are going to be the
first people in history who don't.”

The men from the IRS came on Mon-
day, but Bubba was gone. Floyd, who
was now back with the highway patrol,
found his truck parked by the side of
the road near Electra. There'd been lots

of UFO sightings the night before. A
farmer near Bowie found his cows dead,
emptied out; nothing left of them but
horns, hooves and hide, and not a drop
of blood on the ground, either. The
lights of Bubba's truck were still on, and
his С.В. radio, the key turned to SEND.
Floyd found one footprint in the sandy
soil just the other side of the fence, ap-
parently headed for a strange depression
in the ground, where all the grass was
dead. It made the front page of the pa-
pers, and the sermon that Sunday was
“A Close Encounter with Your God.”
А
"Then things got. more ог less back to

DRAMBUIE OVER ICE
WITH ELLA FITZGERALD.

normal here in north Texas. Bobby Joe
Pitts started a marriage-counseling serv-
ice. He saw himself as someone who'd
known the problem from both side
sort of Kissinger in the war between the
sexes. Harley Otis got a divorce and
married Jan, but it wasn't long before
she showed up at Stolen Hours, a new
bar for housewives where they could
drink all afternoon, watch the soaps and
perhaps have a casual affair. Floyd for-
got his grudge against Bubba and we
spent several nights talking about all
that had happened. “I'll tell you one
x." he said. "Your brother was the
most remarkable person ever born
around here."

In October, I finally made love to Na-
dine MacAfee. But we both discovered
that what we had looked forward to
ior so long took only moments to do,
and, naturally, this was a disappoint-
ment. We parted friends, but it con
firmed my idea that the past is a closed
book: You don't tamper with it.

But that night I couldn't sleep, and
long after they played the national an-
them on television, and showed the air-
plane and the prayer, I was still pacing
the floor and feeling like a ghost. Then
the phone rang:

“Hello, big brother.”

For a moment, I couldn't sec or speak.
^] just wanted to let you know," Bubba
said, “that I was still on the planet
Earth. In fact, I'm in Globe, Arizona
s good to hear your voice, Bubl:
t's good to hear yours. Hey, this is
great country out here. Leaving that
town was the best thing I ever did." He
told me he was working as a disc jockey,
but he had big plans: There was an old,
abandoned drive-in out on the edge of
town, and he was going to renovate it
and call it Bubba's Fifties Burger.

“You know,” he said. “Carhops on
roller skates, neon lights and, on the
jukebox, some of that great old rock
"n' roll."

“Better keep a low profile, Bubba.
You're still a wanted man."

"Don't worry about that" he said
"The road's right out my back door. And
if E have to split, well, that won't be so
bad, either. If there's a prettier sight
than an American blacktop road goin’
nowhere in the moonlight, I don’t know
what it is.”

There was a click, then nothing but
echoes along 1000 miles of telephone
cable.

Well, goddamn. I took three or four
shots of Jack Daniel's and did a sort of
dance out there on my patio, hop;
around under the stars. Then I got in
the

ir to go tell Floyd the good news
that the King was still with us.

"Inhale!

.. Exhale! ... Inhale! . . . Exhale! . ?

PLAYBOY

196

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COMPUTER REVOLUTION

(continued from page 126)
the drones the computer people say
were going to have to learn to live

with. It's an impressivelooking piece of
hardy

You wouldn't be surprised to
find it siting on the command deck of
the Starship Enterprise. It looks power-
ful, well designed, clean. and eficient
The model I was privileged ко experi-
ment with came with a cassette drive, a
disc drive and a printer. The printer
types ar high speed anything you punch
into the typewriter keyboard, It
software, or programs. Soltware is a disc
or a cassette tape that contains the pro
gramming lor various computer Гипс
tions. Because 1 fancy myself a man of
letters, the word-processing software
scemed a good place for me to begin
But the PET also has software [or
myriad other uses. It comes with а 400-
ра aual that rivals any
trigonometry textbook Гуе had the
pleasure to look at. But that's mostly
for doing your own programming. To
operate using prethoughtout programs,
you simply pop a disc into the disc
drive. Then the fun starts.

First you type in the BASIC code:
8

That instructs the machine to search
the disc until it finds the program you
are “loading.” This will appear on the

Iso has

screen:
SEARCHING FOR *
LOADING
READY

You then type RUN, which is the
BASIC code for “run the program."
This appears on the screen

** "THE CBM Test Editor***

Lincs available: 3

Then it asks you a series of questions
about how you want the text to be
processed:

How many [lines] for main text?

Printer Device =?

Printer; PET, ASCH OR Spinwritei

Disc Drive Device

When those questions a
the following a :

M Text Editor
SEN: С=1 L
ary to tell the com-
puter how you want thc page of text to
look when it is printed out. The instruc-
tions would look like this:

У ImHirm70:jul-pp 5

The machine is then set up for you to
usc.

It is possible in the word-processing
mode to insert words into already writ-
ten text, change paragraphs around,
search and replace one word for another,
delete sentences, words or whole p:
graphs and perform a host of other
niceties. Each is accomplished by using
equally mysterious commands. That will
give you an idea of what you are up

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PLAYBOY

198

Great Days seem to happen
more often when you're
wearing Brut* by Fabergé.
After shave, after shower,
after anything?

against. You will, after some time and
practice, memorize the various input
codes and the process will go fairly quick-
ly. It is, however, essential that every
input code be given the way you're sup-
posed to give it and in the order it
should be given. Screw up one, or press
the wrong button at the wrong time, and
you'll be obliged to start all over again.
As I said, you've really got to want to
use the damn thing.

What manner of man would deliber-
ately put himself under that kind of
pressure? I talked with several. Most gave
every outward appearance of being in
control of their faculties. A family man,
for instance, told me he had purchased
his machine to balance the family books.
He hasn't been able to get near the
thing. The kids play with it all the time.
It seems that children have a bizari
fection for it. [t's as new to them as it is
to their parents, but then, everything in
their lives is new to them. They've not
existed long enough to know the natural
perfidy of machines. “I bought them edu-
ational programs,” the man told me,
and they are actually using them. Their
grades have improved, anyhow. I never
have to remind them to do their home-
work. Of course, they get a lot of use out
of the game cassettes, too.”

OI course. What's more fun to play,
Space Invaders or Boolian algebr

Another gentleman, who seemed some-
what on edge, is in the process of record-
ing every aspect of his life. If he loses
his credit cards, he has account numbers,
current. balances and the phone num-
bers of the cancellation offices. He has
the birth dates of all extant relatives,
with notations on appropriate remem-
brances. He can tell you to the penny
how much he paid for deodorant last
year. Or gas. Or heating oil.

Here, obviously, is a programmer. A
renegade at that, since by day be brokers
stocks. He had no formal training be-
yond that which came with his job. He
learned by reading and practice on his
home equipment. His programming is
done at night (presumably with the
shades drawn). His mission is simple: "I
want to know as much about my lile as
I possibly can. 1 want to know what the
patterns are. People do that when they
buy stocks. They investigate and they
wait for a wend to emerge. And they act
on that information. I want to do that
with my life. There are trends there
that must be identified and acted upon.

"You laughed about the deodorant.
But insignificant things like that are
where the money goes. Add ‘em all up
nd they're not so insignificant. I have a
candy bar every day I work. It's just a
habit. It costs 25 cents. If 1 eat one
every day for the 50 weeks 1 work, that's
$62.50. Suddenly, that candy bar be-
comes significant, Not that 1 say, ‘Oh,
I've gotta stop eating candy bars; but 1

do have a useful piece of information
You know where you stand and where
you're likely to go. Sure, you could do it
with a calculator or with paper and
pencil, but the computer can analyze it
and you see it in color right on the
screen in front of you. Really, when you
do it successfully, it's kind of a thrill."

Seeing one's weaknesses itemized in liv-
ing color may provide thrills for some,
but it could prove injurious to the self-
indulgent. Especially the enthusiastically
self-indulgent. Clearly, though, the home
computer can be a boon to some. While
checking out a computer at a local shop,
I saw an excited old lady coming at me
talking without introduction, as certai
old ladies are wont to do, pointing
the machine. “This is it," she said, v
ging her finger at the display. "This is
just what I needed. I do trees, you know.
Genealogy. This will be perfect.”

She turned from me and just stared at
it. In ecstasy—60ish—and ready to do
battle against the forces of
with the latest in high-tech weaponry
It’s positively inspirational.

And a little sad. Because few of the
people I talked with had the endur-
ance to work out the kind of program
she needs. Most relied on prepro-
grammed systems.

The difficulty of programming has
given rise to an all-out battle in the soft-
ware field. A good program is gold to
the computer people. The masochist who
developed one of the best chess pro-
grams, Microchess, is now a millionaire.
It's been estimated that a good program
for the strategy board game Othello
represents more than a year’s work, four
to eight hours a day. Since all you need
do to rip off somebody's program is type
LOAD, it's no wonder piracy is common
and a black market has developed. Com.
puter
cess codes on their material so it can be
d only by those who have the code

But as valuable as programs, as I
alluded to earlier, is information, Just
about everything imaginable in terms of
raw information has now been converted
to computer files. Those li
data bases, have sprung up all over the
country. Using a computer and a mod-
em — (modulator-demodulator), which
amounts to a telephone hookup, you сап
dial into a data base ] your machine
vill absorb whatever it has in its memor
banks. Not surprisingly. you pay for the
privilege

One such publicaccess data base
called The Source. The Source has in its
banks everything from the daily wire
services to your horoscope, including
movie reviews, market reports and flight
schedules. Tt also has an electronic bul-
letin hoard so you can leave a message
for a friend across the country, provided
he also has a computer, a modem and
the price of membership. If you can see

revisionism

people have taken to putting ac-

aries, called

the beginning of electronic mail there,
you're not alonc.

It's obvious the phone lines will soon
be humming with rapidly exchanged in-
formation, It's also clear that those who
have access will have a decided advan-
tage over those who don't. Picture, for
example, a scientist working out a new
formula. He wants to know if it wil
work, so he dials into a ntific data
base, where, with a simple code, he calls
up the work of other scientists who have
pondered the same problem. Now he has
the benefit of the other scientists’ labors,
nd he has it in the twinkling of a chip.
No more will he have to search through
volumes of dusty information in ordi-
nary libraries. He won't even have to
leave his laboratory. His information is
also up to the minute, not sitting in
some publisher's mailbox. If the scientist
works for a commercial firm, he has
saved it time and money. His “computer
literacy” makes him a superemployee.

Let me reiterate; This computer explo-
sion is not science fiction. It is happen-
ing now, and it's happening at such an
n le rate of speed that new prod-
ucts аге often obsolete before they hit
the stores. There is no market for used
computers. Nobody wants last year's
model. The only saving grace is that any
computer you buy will still perform the
functions for which you bought it. even
though a better or different model comes
along. Already, for instance, the com-
puter people have developed voice-
synthesizer units that allow the computer
to talk and voice- recognition systems that
allow you to talk back to i

Keyboards are gradually being simpli-
fied. so it’s not necessary to use complex
commands [or simple functions. Disc
technology is being combined with las
technology to allow computers to rcad
new high-capacity metal-surfaced discs
faster and more efficiently.

Even the basic microprocessor will
soon be changed. The speed with which.
computers can now opcrate is dependent
on the speed of electric signals. Current-
ly, that's about. one third the speed of
light. In the complexity of a microproc-
essing board, that speed adds up quick-
ly, sometimes to seconds. We obviously
can’t wait seconds for something to hap-
pen. So a British scientist named Brian
Josephson has developed superconduct-
ing circuits that make ultrahigh-speed
switching between transistors possible.
The Josephson Junction switches will
allow computers to be made both
faster and smaller, because they do
not generate as much heat as ordinary
switches, and so сап be put closer to-
gether, IBM calculates that a Josephson
computer seven inches on a side would
have all the computing power of one of
its top-of-the line, main-frame computers,
such as the 370-168, but could do
70,000,000 instructions a second com-

pared with 5,500,000 for the 370-168. A
commercial version of that computer may
be on line within ten years. Bet you
can't wait.

One group of people who can't wait
the Japanese. If you want to scare the
wits out of any American, especially an
American businessman, all you have to
do is whisper two words into his ear:

Japanese technology." We admire Ger-
man technology, scoff at Russian tech-
nology. ridicule French technology, but
deep down, we know that no matter
what we produce, the wily |
паке it faster, better and cheaper. Al-
ready, Japanese-made s
being touted as having far fewer prob-
lems than American chips. The Japanese
are organized. Private companies, often
backed by matching funds from the
government, are focusing the tabled Jap-
anese technological expertise on semi
conductor rcscarch. They've taken the
Josephson Junction one step further by
finding a way to manufacture it that not
only is simpler but results in а more
durable product. The real problem with
the device in any configuration is that
it will operate only at temperatures
approaching absolute zero (—273° centi-
grade). That much ice is a bit un-
wiekly, so the smart money in "Tokyo
is on the Fujitsu company's gallium-
arsenide circuits. They don't have to be
cold to work, Even at room temperature,
they can process at a rate of 90 billion
units per second. But if you should cool
them а bit, that's ОК: they will simply
work at twice the speed. Fujitsu is aim-
ing for a switching time of about half
that of the Josephson Junction. Its fac
tory should be churning them out by
1983.

The cramming of large amounts of in-
formation into very small spaces may
scem an esoteric, if not useless, exercise
to the untrained eye; but the smaller a
computer is, the more portable it is. By
the time this technology filters down to
home computers, there will be no excuse
for anyone not to have his own private
drone. Won't it be lovely?

How is one supposed to react to this
influx of drones? What npact
be on our personal lives, our businesses,
our educational system, our pocketbooks?
Like any sane neurotic, I went to the
head doctors to find out. I talked with
two psychologists who are also computer
experts. Such a combination is not w
usual, The workings of a computer brain
can tell us much about its human coun-
terpart. The first was Dr. Herbert Simon
of Carnegie-Mellon University. Юг.
Simon is а Nobel laureate and the c
tor of the computer language BACON.
He writes books using his home-com-
puter word processor. The second was
Peter Frey, a Northwestern U

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199

PLAYBOY

200

psychology professor who writes compu-
ter programs for Othello.

Simon, at least, was reassuring enough
to work in anybody's psycho ward. The
question of psychological adjustment to
the drones was addressed first.

He didn't see 1 problei 1 that.
We're going to get used to computers.
We got used to Mr. Darwin telling us
we weren't different from other species. I
don't think we're going to suffer any
permanent deflation of our egos from
being told that there are nonhuman be-
ings that are pretty good
of thin . It’s partly a question of
whether we think of ourselves as pa

pants in the whole business or we j
think it's being done to us. Е don't think
we should get upset just because a ma-
chine can do arithmetic better than we
с I believe most of us will interact
with computers as things that will help
us with the tasks we face in our lives.
When I get up in the morning, I can use
my computer to dial in the A.P. wire, if
I want. I don't usually want to, but 1
т. 1 don't look at that as
me any more than the newspaper boy is
when he throws the paper on the porch."

Will we become dependent on them as
we have become on calculators? Why
not? says Simon. “If you go to India,
I find a whole lot of people who
n do all kinds of arithmetic in their
heads that you wouldn't want to attempt.
The reason is that paper and pencils are
so scarce people have to learn to do
things the hard way. I've ne
good at addition, so I'm pleased to have
the little pocket. calculator to do it for
me. J carry one around with me all the
time.”

One of the major concerns people
have about the computer revolution is
what it’s going to do to our privacy. Will
all that information stored in computer
banks come back to haunt us? Simon
isn't wo ny years as Гуе
been © been keeping
track of whether I pay my bills. 1 don't
know who it is, but somebody! And
they've been keeping it on little scraps
of paper somewhere. I've never seen
those little scraps. Now they're convert-
ing it to computers. 1 could get real
worried about that and say these people
are going to invade my privacy, keep a
dossi blackmail me! Well, all
e possibilities. And since they are
possible, the society should do something
about it. For example, the society should
regulate wha n go into such files and
it should regulate what access to them
should be allowed. Some such regula-
tions have already been passed not only
for private files but for Government files
well. I had the pleasure of getting my
FBI record recently just to see what the
hell was in it.

“So you could say that th

ny rc;

mposing on

r been

gs are

pretty much the way they've always been.
But, no, they've changed in one respect:
You can establish some d of reason-
able regulation over what a computer
has in its files just because it’s so sys-
tematic and orderly. But you'd have a
heck of a time cstabli
regulation over those little sc
per. I do think, though, that one of the
policies we ought to have with computers
is to make sure that on important mat-
the information they provide is
widely available.”

But isn't it likely that a great number
of people will find it profitable to cir-
cumyent any regulations or restrictions?
Computer crime is not unheard of. What
kind of safeguards can we adopt? Simor
scoffs at the prospect of computer crim-
ality. “Sure, there have been some
dandy embezzlements, but there were
embezzlements long before computers.
Any security professional knows that se-

curity is measured in hours. You can
keep some things more secure than
others, but sooner or later, it all leaks

out. Our soci ke that.

y is full of

We put bars on windows, but somebody

out computers.
The drones invaded our schools long
acher's helper and as the teacher

g row upon row, staring blankly
cathodexay tubes. We've alw
held that a certain amount of human
contact was beneficial in the learning
process. Are these kids going to be alien
ated from their peers—uncommunicative
and withdı ı from the lack of this
contact? Simon admits there may be a
problem. "We should be concerned
about hing that would radically
change the balance of close, human, onc-
onone contact. But I really don't know
s the socializing eflect
of sitting in a classroom full of students
s any greater or any less than gina
classroom with students and computers,"
tly different. vie
“Young people are going to start grow
ing up in an environment that includes
computers as a daily tool. They're going
to find it a comfortable thing that they
can carry under their arms just as they
now carry books. True, if you look at
the ind duals who have be volved
development and use of compu-

ters, there is a tendency for the intro-
verted personality to be the one th

most comfortable in that enviro
as opposed to a person who enjoys
acting with other people. But one of the
things you must keep in mind is that
the new computer revolution goes hand.
hand with the rcvolution in telecom-
munications. It may be that we'll have
to modily extensively the way we define
social interaction. We may be communi-
cating less and less on а асе basis.

But there will still be some very rich
communications. The meeting of minds
nt level.

pidly than that

associated with the auto or the TV. But
take the TV. Everybody has been so
bout the fact that. Johnny "t

has taken into con-

generation's idea of what it means to be
an intelligent person. Anyone who can't
read is thought to be uneducated. But
what's interesting is that we have a whole
generation of people growing up in a
nd it turns out.

television environment

that's the way they lea about the
world. The way they're getting their in-

formation is very different from the way
a person who's 40 or 50 years old gets
his. For them, the book is the ultimate
source of knowledge. Yet these. young
people are very savvy and a large portion
of their knowledge comes from the TV.

“The major problem in cdu
right now is that very few institutions
h ted to restructure the w
impart information. We're trying to
force Kids to use a horse-and-buggy meth-
od when they've already had a chance to
ride in a convertible.

"E read recently tl in Boston, one
out of three kids is not in school. They
think they can learn more from the tele-
vision than they can in school. Johnny
probably can't read and he can't add,
either, But he doesn't. need to. There
are a lot of skills w now that are
going to be y in the fut
But there Jot of skills we have
now that we never thou
Were going to have to learn to coi
to educate in а number of
e going to have to modify the
sic concept. of education. The people
on top in tlie education hierarchy are go-
ing to have to scramble to keep up with
thé people who are coming in to learn or
the institution of learning is going to
go the way of the dinosaur. After all, the
question is, Why should people get to-
her to go to a university when they
ave computers in their homes hooked
up to the Library of Cong
telecommunication devices?”

One of the current catch phrases in
computer circles is computer literacy.
The implication that being able to
use and talk with а computer will soon
be its own exclusive brand of knowledge.
ion is also that a mew class
mong us. a computer class,

ve si

a new division between the haves and
the have-nots. Simon doesn’t see the
problem as ц “I don't see this
revolution as society imo

people who have computers and those
who don't. You can already divide it
into people who have books and people
who don't, those who have newspapers

and those who don't, people who talk to
their neighbors and people who don't."
Frey, on the other hand, sees far-rang-
g problems. “There will be culture
shock involved for a lot of people. If
you're concerned about your economic
worth to society, whether you're in jour-
nalism, business, education, medicine or
whatever, those people who have com-
puter skills are going to be a lot more
valuable than people who don't. Those
who don’t will be like someone on a
bike competing with someone in a car.
"There are going to be more and more
problems with people who are unedu-
cated. There may be two classes in the
end—a welfare class and those who are
productive citizens. The computer will
increase суеп the present dichotomy, be-
cause there will be less and less use for
unskilled labor.”

What's the upshot? Should we all go
out and buy ourselves a drone? Simon
takes a passive view. “Some people
should have them. Some may stay away
from them. I, for example, haven't
looked at a television in 1 don't know
how long. What we have is another tech-
nological alternative in the world that
we haven't had before. Just like the
steam engine in the last century. On
the whole, we'll be a lot better off having
a wider range of technological possibil-
ities. I like the world better today than
I think I would haye liked it before
steam engines. And I think our de-
scendants will say the same thing about
computers. I'll be a more productive
world, there'll be less poverty. Maybe
computers will help us better understand
how the mind works. I don't think we
have any more right to be frightened of
another computer's being born in the
world than in another person's being
born."

Frey's outlook is slightly more omi-
nous. "I think everyone will have a
computer, not should. The price doesn’t
matter. Just as it was once thought that
only the wealthy would have cars, now
there is no one who would think of go-
ing around without a driver's license.
Тһе computer is going to be an іп
pensable part of our daily life. In a very
short time, people are going to be able
to communicate with it by voice. They'll
call it Charley. ‘Charley, what do you
know about the market report for to-
day ‘Charley, what's the weather going
to be like? Individuals will not be de-
creased in value; they be increased,
because there will be more they can do.
As it turns out, there's nothing we can
do about these changes. They are going
to occur and the question is whether we
adjust to them or fall by the wayside.
We've already witnessed what can hap-
pen in the American auto industry. For
years, unions resisted automation, some-
times with sabotage. Now they're going
out of business and cars are coming in

from Japan, where they had the foresight
to deal with the problem years ago.”
.

То buy a home computer now is to
get in on the ground floor. The home
drone is not going to go away. It will be
essential that you have some facility for
the multitude of products and services
that are going to include this technology.

The fact is that anything and every-
thing can be activated with a memory
chip. Some new articles м be useful
and some will simply be exploitive. Wit-
ness the rash of silly products that came
after the introduction of the calculator.
Have you ever really found а use for
that AM/FM calculator pen you bought
several years ago? Already, there is a
dishwasher on the market that lets you
program it up to six hours in advance.
Now, there's something we've been wait-
ing for.

If you decide that you want to become
a fullfiedged collaborator, there are a
few things you should know:

+ Computers are expensive. They cost
anywhere from $200 for the stripped-
down model to several thousands for the
top-of-the-line drone with all the periph-
erals (modems, printe: ©, etc.).

+ Software is expensive, 520-5100 per
program disc or cassette.

+ Repair is expensive. If you liked TV
repair, you'll love computer repair. Some
of the fastest-growing and highest-paid
professions in the world right now are
computer programmers and computer-
repair people. And fear not; your drone
will break down.

If you go to look for one, therefore,
stay out of department stores. They sel-
dom have the backup personnel to help
you. Instead, go to a reputable outlet.
Get friendly with someone there. In fact,
if your brother-in-law sells computers,
buy one from him and then make the
bed in the guest room. For the first few
weeks after you get your drone, you're
going to need someone around to help
get the kinks out of it and you.

* Before you choose a computer, have
in mind some specific use for it. Don't
depend on games! It might be word
processing. or household accounting, or
you might want to dial in a data base.
Whatever it is, you can then shop around
and read around to find the machine
that best fits your needs.

* Buy from an established, multifac-
сей computer company. Right now,
there are hundreds of companies operat-
ing out of garages. They won't be able
to stand the heat in the economic kitch-
en in the near future. The shakeout
should occur sometime the next cou-
ple of years. You don't want to be stuck
with a nifty piece of hardware that can
no longer be repaired. And you don't
want а central processing unit that
doesn’t interface with new peripherals.

There are still a few battles going on,
but the war is technically over. By the
end of this decade, the computer revolu-
tion will be history. If you're going to
survive the occupation, you'll do well to
arm yourself now.

“That's just one more reason why I’m always gonna
stick with a lot of car.”

201

PLAYBOY

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202

GT WEEKEND BOAT

(continued from page 172)
Also take note of the fact that our fig-
ures are preliminary and appear to hold
substantial potential for improvement.
The Wellcraft engineers commented that
the lightweight outboards reduced the
hull’s running angle somewhat, which
affected both mileage and top speed. A
100-gallon auxiliary fuel tank will be in-
stalled in the vacant engine bay and
should provide three payoffs: (1) speeds
in the mid-60-mph range, (2) somewhat
improved fuel economy, perhaps over
2.5 mpg at 35 mph, and (3) coupled with
the present 160-gallon stock fuel tank, a
range of nearly 500 miles. Moreover,
further experimentation with trim tabs
and different propellers for the out-
boards may further add to the boat's
over-all performance.

We also equipped the boat with two
state-of-the-art electronic instruments to
enhance its usefulness as a weekend
sports boat. A Datamarine Sandpiper III
digital depth sounder and a Datamarine
digital speedometer log (for measuring
speed and distance) were considered im-
portant for safe navigation, as were a
standard marine V.H.F. radio and a C.B.
for short-range, informal communication
on the water. Those items, plus beer and
ice cubes, liquor and mixers, suntan 1o-
tion, stereo tapes and some light food-
stuffs, made us ready for sea.

If anything has been proved by this
exercise, it is that great potential for
relatively economical but high-perform-
ance boating lies ahead. Our Wellcraft
Scarab П-Еуіпгиде is just the beginning
of a whole new generation of energy-
efficient sports boats. Wellcraft will soon
announce a production version of the
outboard Scarab, to be powered by
200-hp Mercurys or 235-hp Johnsons or
Evinrudes. Smaller outboard setups can
also be used, but with a serious penalty
in performance. The interesting bonus
in this new boat is that it will be not.
only considerably more economical to
operate but significantly cheaper to buy.
Wellcraft officials claim the outboard
Scarab will cost less than $25,000 without
engines, whereas a fully equipped ver-
sion with 330-hp V8s will cost over
$50,000. Add to the $25,000 approxi-
mately $10,000-$13,000 for two big out-
boards and the price advantage is still
clear.

It isnt bargain-basement cheap, and
the mileage won't win any awards from
the EPA, but our Wellcraft / Evinrude in-
dicates that the exquisite kick of riding
a thoroughbred hull across the waves at
50 mph may be one thing the Khomeini
crazies and the Saudi sheiks won't snatch
away from us after all.

Gentlemen, start your outboards.

(800) 423-2452

204

ADRIATIC COAST

(continued from page 154)

“In exchange for an ample supply of fresh figs, they
flashed their bare breasts at him.”

coast with the beauty of its women, both
of which have missed being fully ap-
preciated in the West. Posar combed
the area for more than two months,
selecting and cajoling its frequently
somewhat shy lovelies to pose for the
pictures on these pages. There was the
girl who missed her photo shooting be-
cause her father had locked her in her
room for staying out dancing too late
the night before. There were others who
made appointments but canceled at the
last minute. But, in the main, Yugo-
slavian women showed they've come a
long way from the dirndl and the ba-
bushka. That's not surprising: Female
college enrollment has increased by more

than 1500 percent since 1939. Virtually
all careers are open to women, many of
whom wear the same fashions as their
Parisian or Roman counterparts. Indica-
tive of those trends were the two girls
Pompeo met who invented a new barter
system at one of the open-air markets.
Hitchhiking around and short on cash,
the vagabonds made a deal with a geriat-
ric fruit peddler. In exchange for an
ample supply of fresh figs, they flashed
their bare breasts at him. Women like
those undo certain popular myths about
what's lurking behind the iron curtain.
The greatest bane to the Yugoslavian
travel industry has probably been Mel
Brooks. Returning in 1969 from months

“If I'd realized ‘something
borrowed, something blue’ would mean a projector
and some porno movies!!”

spent in the Yugoslavian countryside
making his film The Twelve Chairs,
Brooks delivered talk-show jabs that be-
came пеаг-сЇаззіс foreign-travel put-
downs. "We couldn't get around much,"
he'd routinely say to Carson or who
ever. “Tito had the саг." His jokes didn't
do much to enhance Yugoslavia's repu-
tation among American tourists, who are
timid enough about venturing behind
the iron curtain. That is too bad, because
there's much to see and do over there.

With miles of craggy beaches (popular
with ladies from all over Europe) and
cross-cultural artifacts dating back cen-
turies, Yugoslavia measures up well
against most other earthly versions of
paradise, and you can get there via a
simple direct flight to Zagreb, Ljubljana
or Belgrade from Chicago or New York
City aboard JAT-Yugoslav Airlines, the
national carrier.

The Socialist Federal Republic of
Yugoslavia is far from a monolith, com-
posed, as it is, of six republics, two
autonomous provinces and the cultures
of a dozen empires. English is not
widely spoken, and there Posar had
a clear advantage. In addition to Eng-
lish, French and Italian, he speaks the
three main languages of Yugoslavia:
Croatian, Serbian and Slovenian. At least
14 languages exist in that nation, which
stretches from its borders with Italy,
Austria, Hungary and Romania down
the eastern coast of the Adriatic Sea to
Albania, Greece and Bulgaria. That turf
was at one time or another ruled and/or
influenced by everyone from the ancient
Celts to the relatively modern Ottomans;
from the marauding Goths to the more
stately Austro-Hungarians; and from
Zeus and Jove to Mohammed and Christ.
Monuments and ruins attributed to each
of those former conquerors and spiritual
influences are visible in virtually every
part of the country, and the visitor is
confronted with an inexhaustible pot-
pourri of language, celebration, religion,
costume and cuisine.

Yugoslavia as a nation is very much a
creation of the 20th Century, and his-
toric boundaries have not faded in the
eyes of the local population. Just as U. S.
citizens are apt to describe themselves as
Californians, Texans or New Yorkers,
Yugoslavs routinely describe themselves
as Serbs, Slovenes or Croats. For a coun-
try of just under 99,000 square miles,
slightly bigger than the state of Wyo-
ming, the land itself is remarkably
varied, ranging from the snowy Julian
Alps to the warm Adriatic coast, with a
host of islands, plus dense forests and
a lush, fertile central plain. The inte-
rior is full of large, clear lakes and warm
mineral springs.

Most travelers, however, head for the
coast, which has become a sort of fledg-
ling Riviera, right down to topless sun-
bathing, a growing fad all over, but

The Season Belongs to Jantzen

ане

E |
ho » \ |
J BORD а
= i» Jantzen

promere

Summer Fashion Breakthrough.

Looking for a summer suit that doubles as a sport short? We offer
this fitting conclusion to your search at fine stores.
throughout the world. Sizes 28-42. About $17.00

Photographed at the breathisking Hyatt Regency on Maui

205

especially in Porec. In the summer
months, hotels and beaches along the
Adriatic swarm with tourists from all
over Europe. It's not a bad idea to hire
a boat and cruise the beaches. On the
shore, the wary traveler walks over bodies
or mot at all. Territorial types leave
their blankets on the beach overnight to
reserve a place for the next day's sun-
bathing. Quite remarkably, no one steals
the blankets. The prime vacation season
runs from June through August, when
many Europeans take their monthlong
leaves; the rest of the year, the resorts
are deserted. Depending upon whether
you want to meet someone or enjoy the
sheer beauty of the scenery, choose your
season—the weather's always good.

Getting around Yugoslavia, especially
by car, can be an adventure in itself,
since the roads and the Yugoslavian driv-
ing demeanor are considered crazy and
dangerous even by their mad Italian
neighbors (themselves no slouches in the
confrontation style of driving). The
major national highways have been im-
proved considerably in recent years,
however, and the Adriatic Highway
(Jadranska Magistrala), which runs along
the coast, is one of the most scenic routes
on the entire Continent. Don't be sur-
prised to be pased by Porsches and
Mercedes driven by stylishly attired
youths who tend to fancy the Western
wares available in nearby Trieste.

As a matter of fact, one of the finest
of all European driving tours winds
down the coast beginning just south of
Trieste and continues southeast along
For a beautiful full color lithograph print, 18" x 19”. of Ken Davies; famous “Flying Wild Turkey" painting, supervised bythe artis, | the Adriatic Sea. This coastal area is full
send $5.00 to Box size ев, N.Y. NY 10208. of beach resorts, Roman ruins, steep
bluffs, great cultural diversity and some
of the best seafood anywhere. It's enough

А
to make you wonder why socialist coun-
of gray.

o Although most of the area is known as
the Dalmatian coast, the first few miles
is awork of art. we ig Cy mis
of Slovenia. The next 600 miles mark the
hiskey at

101 fi

p :

masterpiece.

coast of Croatia, except for a ten-mile

corridor ceded to Bosnia-Herzegovina.
WILD ТОВКЕҮ/101 PROOF/8 YEARS OLD
BEYOND DUPLICATION.

‘The southernmost coast down to the
© 1980 Austin, Nichols Distiling Co., Lawrenceburg. Ky.

PLAYBOY

Albanian border is part of Montenegro.
This coast line is one of the most ir-
regular in Europe—about 400 miles as
the crow flies, but nearly ten times that
long when every bay and peninsula is
included. And that doesn't count the
more than 1000 offshore islands.

A tour down the coast begins at the
Istrian peninsula, which juts out into the
Adriatic roughly parallel to Venice on
the other side of the Adriatic shore. The
peninsula, in fact, saw its best days dur
ing its era as а Venetian outpost; that
dominance by the merchant soldiers of
Venice continued until the early 19th
Century. The coast line of wooded lime-
stone hills slopes down to a dramatically
blue ocean, and the landscape is dotted
206 with picturesque old fishing towns and

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“Yes, I must admit I’ve done rather well here.”

If you were a foot,
this would make you drool.

Feet have been oppressed for too long.

So we put five years of hard labor into building something just for them.

RocSports.

RocSports have a revolutionary Walk Support System” (see below) that
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And that sole has a rocker bottom. So
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Yet a RocSport like the one you see here weighs a grand total of 12 ounces.

Some people think we've done too much for feet. We don't think that's
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They're buying RocSports as fast as we can make them.

For the name of your nearest RocSport dealer contact:
Rockport Company, 72 Howe Street, Marlboro, MA 01752.

modern holiday resorts, with a sprinkling
of medieval reminders attesting to the
long Venetian dominance. Istria's towns
аге well equipped for travelers, especial-
ly nudists. The second largest nudist
colony in the world lies just a few miles
from the Istrian town ОЁ Vrsar. Yugo-
slavia's Adriatic coast is, in fact, more or
less the center of organized clothes leav-
ing—called naturism by its most ardent
adherents—for all of Europe. Germans,
especially, head south for bare vacations.
The nude resorts are in great supply and
are open to everyone. Their heavy family
orientation keeps hanky-panky at a, uh,
bare minimum. Be advised, though, that
virtually every seaside village has its
own informal nude-bathing arca.

The number-one tourist center of this

part of Yugoslavia is Opatija, a notable
seaside resort located where the south
shore of the peninsula joins the main-
land. It's a great place to meet fellow ad-
venturers, Every evening, thousands of
young tourists stroll the shore line, mix-
ing and mingling. A good hangout is the
café in the Adriatic Hotel, one of several
fine hostelries. Grabbing a boat out of
Opatija or neighboring Rijeka, you can
head off to the sunny islands of Krk
(pronounced Kirk, and also accessible by
bridge from the mainland), Gres and
Rab. Rab is one of the sunniest oases in
Europe, boasting abundant foliage and a
particularly mild climate. The main ur-
ban center on the island is a town also
named Rab, which once was a Roman
settlement. In midsummer, it becomes a
very crowded beach resort, with touri:
attractions including the Church of Saint
John (built in the Seventh Century), a
Tth Century palace and four striking
bell towers that rise above the town. For
devotees of indigenous atmosphere (rath-
er than modern discos, restaurants and
rock music), the island of Pag, just south-
cast of Rab, is as pretty as any of the
trio of tourist islands noted above, but
far less crowded. Its main claim to fame
s its wonderfully tangy sheepamilk
cheese (called Paski), which is sold at
surprisingly high prices.
The real Dalmatian coast һер
Zadar, at the southernmost point of the
Kvarner Bay area, and it's a typical
Yugoslavian paradox. It’s an ancient
place, settled well before the First Cen-
tury—with the requisite surviving build-
ings, gates and other relics of the
Roman occupation. But Zadar is also a
center of 20th Century activity, bustling
with commerce and a substantial tow
industry. It has become the fulcrum for
transportation to all of Yugoslavia, and
there are ferry and hydrofoil services to
just about any place off the coast. Com-
mercial fishing is a major offshore indus-
пу, and Zadar is hardly a quiet place.
‘The hotels are mostly high-rises and the
beaches endure an overflowing popula
tion on the warmest summer days.

Unlike those of most other coastal

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PLAYBOY

210

areas of Europe (where the idea is to
escape the tourist centers), Yugoslavia's
best hotels thrive in the well-known

resort areas. Generally, they tend to be
less rigid than, say, Belgrade's Hotel
Metropole, which, hewing to Eastern
European tradition, won't allow guests
to invite friends up to their rooms. So

s wise to set up headquarters in
Opatija, Split, Hvar or one of the other
tourist towns and rent a car to explore
one of the hundreds of less-crowded
coves,

Another way to get away from the
crowd is to hire a water taxi (or make a
deal with an enterprising fisherman) to
take you to one of the uninhabited
Kornati Islands for a day, a weck or
longer. With a tent, you can camp out
under the stars as long as you like,
uninterrupted except for the sounds of
the gently lapping Adriatic. A word of
If you haven't rented your
, make sure you have firm
gements for being picked up. And
you'll have to take all your own supplics,
including fresh water.

Continuing south along the coast, the
next major stop is Sibenik, a city that
dates from ihe Tenth ry, located

at the estuary of the Krka River. The
best view of the city is from the sea, and
it's obligatory to take a tour of the port
by boat. The view of Sibenik's white-
domed medieval and Renaissance palaces
is especially stunning from the harbor;
and if you have time, make the excursion
to Skra to sce the waterfalls of the
Krka. One other worthwhile digression
is the trip to the so-called museum town
of Trogir, where the animals in the
carvings and bas-reliefs on the Cathedral
of Saint Lawrence are so vividly lifelike
that you think they'll drool on you at
any moment.

Farther along the coast, you'll find
the city of Split, where you may want to
drop a few comments about Hajduk, the
local soccer team, of which residents are
fiercely proud. In summer, the board-
walk at Split is a mass of people. You
may choose to view them from Parisian-
style sidewalk cafés or from restaurants
located on boats in the harbor, where
the world-class yachts come and go. Local
literary and theater talent, of which
there's a wealth, pours into the streets
every summer to present plays and bal-
lets, all open to the public for a minimal
fee.

The Roman emperor Diocletian
founded the city in the Fourth Century
as his vacation home, and the dramatic
palace and enclosed town he built
around it now make up the old quarter
of Split. But the new quarter is the real
resort center, with a fair share of hotels,
heated swimming pools and other m:
festations of modern holiday life.

The road from Split to Dubrovnik is
filled with shimmering blue coves, sandy
and pebbled beaches, sheltered by pine
trees and fringed by balmy offshore is-
lands. The ideal place from which to
observe these serene scenes is the hillside
of one of the 5000-foot peaks towering
over the seaside region. Known as the
Makarska Riviera, this is the most lush
and sunny part of the coast, and it's full
of resort towns and simple fishing vil-
lages to provide a respite from the 20th
Century pace.

The islands off this section of the coast
are the main tourist attractions in this
area. Their consistently warm, sunny
climate, good beaches and vegetation
make the islands of Brac, Hvar and
Korcula, among others, musts on your
inerary. Brac is one of the more popu
lar, with extensive pine woods (perfect
for walking and hiking) covering its hill-
sides. There's a gem of a baroque church
in the village of Bol, and a beautiful
sand beach called Zlatni Rat (Golden
pe).

Hvar is a year-round resort, where
lavender grows in wild profusion. You
can walk over а hillock, seeing and
smelling it all around you. You can pick
it, tuck it behind her car and, best of
1, you can take it with you in a two-
ounce bottle of lavender oil, for sale on
the island for about four dollars. The
island's main town, alo called Hvar, has
the oldest active theater in Europe,
housed in a structure built in 1612.
Hyar's hotel managers are so confident
of their fine weather that they do not
bill guests for any day that the tempera-
ture gocs below freezing—and take 50
percent. off the room rate when it rains
for three hours or morc.

The island of Kore ims М
Polo as a native son, and the town of
Korcula has its own cathedral (con-
structed between the 13th and 16th cen-
turies) containing paintings by both
Tintorctto and Bassano. More out of the
way is Mljet, very wild and densely
forested, and considered by many the
most beautiful of all these islands. it has
only one small hotel but lots of private
houses with rooms for rent. There's also
a national park, a particular favorite of
hikers and climbers, on the island.

Closer to Split lies the island of Solta,
h is pretty much off the beaten path
d, therefore, seldom crowded. Most
accommodations аге in boardinghouses,
where you can get to know the island
citizens and engage in discussions of

rco

A comparison of projections from manufacturers’
treadwear ratings under the new government Uniform Tire Quality
Grading System indicates that on a government-specified course:

Michelin fell alittle
short of the Uniroyal Steeler.
About 24,000 miles short.

Idealer:

For many people, Michelin has always m

----4

been the yardstick to compare other tires by. } MANUFACTURERS" RATINGS FOR eS MEN]
/ERNMEN d 4 PROJECTION
But recently, the U.S. Department of _ j US. GOVERNMENT QUALITY GRADING SYSTEM Jor MILEAGE ONI
Transportation gave the public a standard- FI — E алиев mme" SPECIFIED 1
ized system. Now, each tire company T 1 Manufacturer/Tire: буш таиыз U
required by law to grade its tires in three р 1
areas. Traction. Temperature resistance. UNIROYAL 1
And treadwear. K Steeler 200 Е aS, Co а
And then to emboss the resulting GOODYEAR
grades on the sides of the tires. y Custom Polysteel B/C 170 51,000 1
When compared, Michelin’s XWW 1 —— = 1
fared somewhat better than Uniroyal's i ARES DNE s || BK 170* 51,000 !
comparable Steeler in the traction and tem- ( BUES, F
perature resistance tests. GENERAL
But when it came to the important d Dual Steel II B/C 170 51,000 Д
grade that indicates the relative wear rate of =
your tire, Michelin’ tire fell a little short. BE GOODRICH | вис | 170 | 51,000 !
In fact, when you translate their ratings into n 1
projected miles on the government-specified р MICHELIN A/B 140 42.000 1
test course, you see it was no photo finish. р XWW, Ч

E um с=ш= |
On that course, the mileage projection — * Most 15" Fi 721 tires rated 200 which projects to 60,000 miles,

for Uniroyal's Steeler is 66,000 miles. 24,000 Source: U.S. D.O.T. 12/19/80. —
Fa faci cU de -anpa Fora free booklet оп grade-labeling, please send your name and address to:
TE than Michelin a RE e Uniroyal, Inc., Tire Advertising Department, Middlebury; Connecticut 06218
, by the way, 15, miles longer niroyal, Inc,
than the projections from the ratings of the
Goodyear, Goodrich, General and most
Firestone tires in the chart.)

These mileage projections (including
those in the chart) should be used for com-
parison only. You will probably not achieve
these results. Actual treadlife will vary sub-
stantially due to your driving habits, condi-
tion of vehicle and, in many sections of the
country, road conditions and climate.

See your Uniroyal dealer for details.

You'll see there may be a
UNIROYAL

QUY
w

When you compare,
you want Uniroyal there.

new yardstick to compare
tires Бу.
Uniroyal.

PLAYBOY

peace, brotherhood and the American
way.

The brightest gem of Yugoslavia, and
perhaps of all the Adriatic, is the walled
city of Dubrovnik, which retains much
of the magnificence it enjoyed when, in
the 15th Century, as the Free Republic
of Dubrovnik, it rivaled that other nota-
ble city-state on the Adriatic, Venice.

‘The first thing to do in Dubrovnik is
to amble around the city on top of its
thick fortress walls. For the most part,
the buildings surrounded by those walls
are constructed on a huge scale, with
rows of pillars and arches, imperious
towers, gorgeous stone facades and im-
pressive fortifications bristling with can-
hons. From the top of the walls, the
roofs of the town look like a sea of
orange tile; when you finally make your
way through the strects, you will be
pleasantly surprised by the frequency
with which you'll find fountains, court-
yards, gardens and beautiful bell towers.
It's also not a bad idea to take the cable
car to the hills above the city to sce all
the bright colors of the landscape from
above. If you want to meet Europeans,
there is no better place than Dubrovnik
after six. The smart traveler's itinerary
eventually leads there. Its ancient walls,
pillars and arches promise romance.

Dubrovnik's summer festival takes
place from mid-July to late August. Per
formers of symphonic and chamber

music, opera, ballet, drama and folkloric
pageants play in the palaces, gardens and
courtyards. Otherwise, Dubrovnik's night
life can be bohemian, cosmopolitan ог
just expensive, and frequently all three.
There's a gambling casino in the city
nd several first-class restaurants at which
to sample Continental favorites or the
much-favored local freshwater trout or
lamb roasted on a spit. If you're game
for a short nighttime drive, make it to
the Orsan restaurant just north of the
city; it’s in a converted old stone peasant
house and is just about the best restau-
rant in the country. The seafood served
there is world-famous.

During the day, you can take a launch
to the nearby island of Lokrum. Round
wip costs about 51.10, which may turn
out to be the best investment of your
life. On one end of Lokrum is an un-
official nude sun-bathing area where,
experts agree, you'll find the most en-
chanting women in all of Europe, and;
generally speaking, they come from all
over Europe. Alter а day in the sun, you
and your new friend or friends can re
turn to the city, where, in the evening,
everyone strolls, musing over the historic
surroundings.

Although Dubrovnik is the highlight
of any trip down the Dalmatian coast,
you may feel like completing the coastal
journey by driving all the way to the
Albanian border. Cavtat, just south of

Dubrovnik, has some worthwhile Greek
and Roman ruins and one of the swanki-
est hotels on the Adriatic. The main
appeal of this journey, however, is the
chance to stop along the way
ever small beach attracts your interest,
and there is a small resort at Tivat th:
worth poking into. The town of Budv
which, unfortunately, was badly dam-
aged by a 1979 earthquake, still boasts
Greek and Roman ruins and long, sandy
beaches.

But of all the attractions of this south-
ern end of Yugoslavia's Adriatic coast, the
most compelling is Sveti Stefan, a tiny
medieval village on an island that’s con-
nected to the mainland by a narrow
causeway. Virtually the entire island's
housing has been converted into accom-
modations for visitors and, compared
with other Yugoslavian hotels, these tend
to get pricy. But the environment is well
worth the extra dinars.

Whether it’s romance, sun or Roman
ruins you're looking for, you stand а
good chance of finding all three along
the Yugoslavian coast of the Adriatic.
Americans are very welcome there; v
a mere administrative detail, are prompt-
ly available at the borders. If you have
a hankering to go there, contact the
Yugoslav National Tourist Office, 630
Fifth Avenue, New York, New York
10111. Phone 212-757-2801.

t what-

EVERY MORNING, MILLIONS OF BEARDS
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WORLD CLASS

(continued from page 113)

"She is understandably angry at the press. "They

wrote so many stupid things that are not true.

2»

she was, the envy of women
ide, about to embark on an in-
ternational tour as the symbol of femi-
nine pulchritude, and all she wanted
was ош!

Within 24 hours, Gabriella Brum had
her wish. "Thanks, but no thanks. She
turned in her crown and it was given to
Miss Guam, Kimberly Santos. Gabriclla
was once again just Gaby.

The shock waves ran round the globe.
From Greenland to Argentina, the media
pounced on the story. The question was
why, and speculation ran wild. Gabriella,
they learned, was the girlfriend of a
film producer and cameraman who was,
horror of horrors, 34 years her senior.
From there it was just a small jump to
portraying Benno Bellenbaum
ous Svengali bent on denying Gab
her place in the sun. The truth was a
little short of that but no less interesting.

The imposing (511^) Miss West Ger-
many was born 18 years ago in Berlin,
She last saw her father at the age of
three; her mother has since remarried.

Quiet, introspect
pendent, Gabriella had had no boy-
friends and no interest in having one
until, at 17, she met Benno. She speaks
German, naturally, a little French and a
dipped English with an accent as in-
genuous as it is endearing. As she talks,
it becomes obvious that she is as uncon-
cerned about the flap she has caused as
she is about her world-class body. Only
Benno is important to her.

She is understandably angry at the
press. “They wrote so many stupid
things. Things that are not true about
me and my boyfriend. And if you tell
them the truth, they don't want to hear.
The real story was that I quit because I
wanted to go to school for costume de
sign. I didn’t want to take 2 whole year
off. If 1 want to quit, I quit. If Benno
asks me to quit, OK, but only I decide.”

Her odyssey began when she was asked
to take part in a film-festival pageant in
her native Berlin. She won the pageant
and then was asked to try for the title of
Miss Berlin. She won that, too, which

c and fiercely inde

led to the Miss West Germany pre-
iminary of the Miss World contest. To
her surprise, she also won that and found
herself in London for the big show.

She was not an enthusiastic contestant.
"I hate these contests. I just wanted the
money. I have to make a living

Actually winning the Miss World title
was а possibility she did not even con
sider. And after reading the Miss World
contract, she wondered exactly what it
was she had won.

“I would have gotten about $50,000.
Because my father was English, I
dual citizenship. So 40 percent of that
would go to taxes in Britain, and then
25 percent after that would go to the
Miss West Germany corporation, because
of that contract. Then Т have to pay
accommodations for myself in London.
If I travel for them, I pay my own flight
costs. I couldn't believe my eyes when
1 read the contract. І called Benno. He
said, "No problem; just quit and go
away.’ So I did."

Part of the reason it was so easy for
Gabriella to say goodbye to the some-
at dubious honor is that she doesn't
really think she deserved it. "I never
expected to win. There were so many
beautiful girls. I don't think I'm really
beautiful. Maybe I have something: I
don’t know. Maybe I was more natural
than the others. It’s so important for

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PLAYBOY

214

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some girls that they forget to be natural.
But I really can't say. You never know
yoursel!

Not long before the pageant, Gabriella
had followed Benno to Los Angeles,
where she began a modeling career. She's
not too keen on that, either.

“When I came to L-A., everyone said,
"Oh, you've got to be an actress or a

model.” So I went to the agencies and
one said, ‘You're too young,’ and an-
other said, "Well, you've got to lose
weight." She sighs heavily. "Modeling

is not what people think it is. 105 hard
work and it can get boring. I can model
for two days and be fine. But four

- it gets boring. Then I don't
to look good and when
you're famous, you have to care what
you look like, even when you go shop-
ping. I don't like to be always bcauti-
ful... always the make-up... and the
hair. I'm just not born for it."

Press reports said that Gabriella had
done some nude modeling. She scoffs at
that. “They said I did nude pictures,
but I only did topless, for Benno, as a
test; but the press, they try to spoil my
image. So after the contest, I decide, OK,
now I really do nudes for
If they are—do you have the word?—
esthetic. Yes. if they are beauti
Since her Miss World
abriella has changed her п
her future. As it stands now,
little desire to be in front of the camera
or to study costume design. In fact, she

PLAYBOY.

experience,

wants to go to school to be a make-up
"I don't want to be a ‘tress. As.
an actress, if you find someone, you
never know who he loves—you or the
person you are to the public. It's a lone-

artist.

ly life
"You know,
that side . . .

1 have this side and then
maybe it's because I'm
young. When I get older, maybe ГИ be
one way. But right now, I'm this... and.
this... and this. What I think I want
my life to be is a little modeling. I'd

like to do television. commercials, Ъс-
cause they don't take up so much time
and the pay is good. Meanwhile, I will
go to school for make-up and the rest

of my lile

‚ just like anybody else. I
love L.A. I have the sun. Everything.
When I go back, I will buy a cat.

The most important thing for me is
to be happy with Benno and that I have
my work, and be myself. Maybe later I
be housewife and have children, who
knows? I am very simple.”

After thinking for a second, Gabriella
concludes, "But it changes, what I
nt, from month to month"; and then
she laughs. “I think this opinion will last
for at least half a year.”

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DOROTHY STRATTEN

(continued from page 181)

"People responded not only to Dorothy's beauty but
also to her naivete, warmth and charm.”

PLAYBOY

around, he made passes at her girl
friends. He opened her mail. He tried
to bully Molly. too, but with less success.
Molly wondered why Dorothy put up
with it. Love certainly is blind, she
thought.

Once, when Paul went back to Van-
couver for a [ew days, Dorothy seemed
a completely different person. Spirits
soared and sunshine filled the apart-
ment. She smoked cigarettes—forbidden
by Paul—and joined Molly in safaris for
cookies and chocolate ice cream at the
Westward Ho market. From their fourth-
floor window, laughing uproariously,
Dorothy and Molly threw all of their
pefruit at Iranian students ра
below. Then Paul returned to L.A
everything was back to normal.

Paul pressured Dorothy to marry him
as her Playmate appearance drew closer.

"I don't even like blondes that much,”
he told an acquaintance, an older man.
“I really prefer brunettes.”

Paul's dark days were almost over, he
thought. Dorothy would receive the rest
of her $10,000 Playmate fee and begin
ning money from Playmate promo-
But she was more than just a m

tio
ticket to him. Dororhy was going to be
his

passport to the world that had thus.
eluded him, especially here in Holly-
wood: the big time, The big deal. The
big score.

Paul knew, as Dorothy did, that she
was likely to be chosen the nes
Playmate of the Year. That would m
$200,000 in cash and prizes. More
portant, Dorothy would be famous. Paul
envisioned a Dorothy poster. A Dorothy
book. Dorothy perfume. After that, the
movies. Dorothy could become a star. If
Dorothy was a star, why couldn't he be
her producer? Anything was possible.

One morning, at exercise class, Doro-
thy talked to Marilyn Grabowski about

arrying Paul.

owe it to him," Dorothy said. ^
was a nobody when he found me.”

Marilyn disagreed. "You were never a
nobody. You just thought you were a
nobody. Whatever you become will be
because of who you are, not because of
someone else. The next year is going to
be an adventure. Don't spoil it. Don't
do something you may regret later. Live
with him if you want to, if you feel you
owe it to him. But don't get married."

Paul increased his pressure.

a partnership,” he told Doroth
0-50. I just want to make
she remained indecisive,
If you don't marry

Whe

it legal.”
gig he threatened her:

"ll become

me, ГЇЇ leave you. Then wl
of your”

Dorothy went to see Hefner and told
him she was going to marry Paul. Since
Hefner had become as much of a father
to her as she'd ever had, she wondered.
if he'd be willing to '€ her away at
the wedding.

Hefner was touched and flattered. He
was fond of Dorothy and concerned
about her welfare. But a role at her
wedding would be inappropriate, he
said, since he really was opposed to her
tying Р:

When she wondered why, all Hefner
could think to say was: "Paul has the
personality of a pimp." He was sorry а
soon he said it. It was insensitive and
proper, he knew, and he started to
apologize, but Dorothy was laughing.

" she said, “that was just his cos-
tume at the Halloween party.” And she
meant it,

Kim Desmond, the girl Dorothy
tr d as her replacement at the
Playboy Club, went with her to pick out
a wedding dress. Kim expected the shop-
to take all afternoon. Dorothy
picked the second dress they looked at
in the first store they tried. The dress
was white, tight-fitting, floor-length. It
was slit up the side and had abalone-
colored sequins sewn on the bodice.
Very pretty, Kim thought. Dorothy was
being practical. She wanted something
she could wi п once.

Dorothy's first Playmate promotion
was scheduled in Las Vegas at the begin-
ning of June. Paul flew to Nevada at the
same time and they were married i

the Silver Bell Wedding Chapel. Paul
end. James Whitehead's

chose the Revel
wedding package, which included a.
short ceremony, a corsage for the bride
from the floral refrigerator, photographs
and a cassette recording of the ceremony.
Jake М a pal of Paul's, was best
m

fided to a girlf
summate thei
alter the cerci

The wedding reception was held on
June fourth at the Van Nuys residence
of actor-producer Max Baer, Jr. The
bride seemed tense; a friend of Paul's,
doctor, gave her a Quaalude, then dis-
pensed one to Paul and took onc him-
self With the exception of 1978
Playmate of the Year Debra Jo Fondren,
no one from the Playboy organization
attended, though several had been in-

ed. Pauls father flew down from
Vancouver and posed proudly beside his
new daughter-inlaw in a white su
Molly was there, though she no longer
shared the apartment with Dorothy and
Paul. While cooking dinner one evening
she'd popped off at Paul and he'd raged
at her, turned over the kitchen table.
He'd scared her badly. None of Dor-
othy's family attended either the wed-
ding or the reception. Dorothy would
wait weeks before mustering enough
nerve to call Nellie and tell her that she
had married Paul.

That summer Paul and Dorothy
found a house in West Los Angeles. It
was two stories of pale-yellow stucco
with a flat, tile-trimmed roof. One small
window beside the front en се was
guarded with a spiked, wrought-iron
grille. The house had a double garage
and on ity roof was a deck for a
second-floor living room with a sliding
glass door. There was a small bedrooi
on the first floor at the back of the
house. The street was almost a cul-de-sac.
Across the street, and elevated above on
concrete pylons, partly blocking the sun,
pounded the Santa Monica Freeway.
The house was new. It rented for $650 a
month. Paul invited Steve Cushner, a
young doctor. to share it to lay off part
of the rent. Cushner agreed and took
over the upstairs quarters.

Paul's father helped the newlyweds
move in. He stayed at the house with
them while he was in town. His clothing
business had shut down. Paul told a
friend that during the visit his father
asked him for a loan and he took de-
light in turning him down.

July 1979 began Dorothy's whirlwind.
With her August issue on sale, she flew
off to Canada to promote the magazine.
She was one of the few
chosen to be a Playmate. It made her an
tant celebrity. She would tour Canada
for most of the month.

Elizabeth Norris, Playboy's Playmate
Publicity Manager, rendezvoused with
Dorothy in Monweal. From there they

Canadians ever

worked back west across the country.

Dorothy frolicked in a park for photog-
phers, appeared with Candy Loving at

a football game to kick out the first ball
and gave interviews on talk shows.
Elizabeth was impressed with Dorothy's

dedication and with how quickly she
caught on. The public adored her.
People responded not only to her excep-
tional beauty but also to her naiveté,
armth and charm. At personal appe;
ances, crowds would swarm around her.
"You're so beautiful," someone would
„ and Dorothy would be delighted.
he could sign autographs by the hour.
"Come on, Dorothy,"
say, "it's time to go."
Dorothy would shake her head: “I'm
not done yet.” She wanted to sign every

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PLAYBOY

onc. She was having the time of her life.

Vancouver was their last stop. Eliza-
beth was introduced to Nellie. To
Dorothy's surprise, her mother seemed
genuinely pleased with her success with
rLAYBovY and her new celebrity. Nellie
was worried about Dorothy's marriage to
Paul, however, and she said so.

On her return to L.A., Dorothy wrote
her mother a letter:

Dearest Mom:

Thank you so much for being so
good to me and understanding of
my schedule in Vancouver. I те
member your tears as I was leaving-
Jt was so sad. Please don't feel bad,
Mom. The family’s got each other.
"That's all that matters. Don't ever
worry about anybody else. I'll try to
get home again as soon as possible
for a longer visit. . . . Please try
and take care of yourself, Mom, and
be proud of yourself. I'm proud of
you. You're beautiful.

Love always,
Dorothy
P.S. I miss you.

When Dorothy was hired for a walk-
on in the movie Americathon—she es-
corts Meat Loaf on stage to give blood
to help save America—she decided she
needed an agent. She signed with David
Wilder, who represented several other
Playmates also pursuing acting careers.
Wilder immediately found Dorothy a
small speaking part in Skatetown, U.S.A.

In September, Hefner hosted a
Playmate Reunion. Dorothy Straten was
one of the most recent of the 136
Playmates of the Month who attended.
Each of them received a jeweled Rabbit
pendant to commemorate the occasion.
lt was an emotion-filled day for Hefner
and for the women—who spoke of shar-
ing a sense of lasting identification with
one another and with rrAvnov. Hefner
stood on a stage welcoming threc dec-
ades of »LAvBov centerfolds.
Vithout you," he cracked,
a literary magazine."

Seated next to Dorothy at the Re-
union luncheon was a reporter for The
Washington Post. During lunch they
talked.

"Tell him about your film carcer,"
Paul whispered from his seat on the
other side of Dorothy.
^m interested in acting in films and
television," said Dorothy to the reporter.

“Mention Americathon,” Paul intoned
again.

“I'm in a movie called Americathon,”
Dorothy. “It’s about a telethon to
save the country.

“Tell him about Skatetown,” prompt-
ed Paul, his asides growing more obvious.
And I just finished making a movie

Td have

called Skatetown, U.S.
dutifully. “I roller-skate in that one.

“Really?” said the Post correspondent,
fascinated by this amateur Svengali act
with the beautiful blonde and the m;
in the black shirt open down the front,
neck chains and a leather jacket, who
looked like someone who hung out on
street corners.

Derothy found more film and tele
sion work throughout the fall and win-
ter. Because Canada allows tax credits
for motion pictures made in that coun-
try with Canadian citizens, she offered
advantages for Canadian film makers
beyond her obvious beauty and her
novice acting skills. Immediately after
Skatetown, Wilder placed Dorothy in
a Canadian piaure, Autumn Born. It
was to be a low-budget drive-in fea-
ture, but it would be Dorothy's first
lead. Wilder set the deal to give her a
learning experience, actual acting time
in front of the camera.

Learning was what Dorothy proposed
to do, because she had settled by now
on an ambitious goal: She wanted to
become a serious actress. Her beauty
opened doors. She meant for her acting
to carry her through. She made the
round of casting calls. She read scripts
and plays on her own, outside class, and
acted out parts with friends. When she
got a part, she arrived at the set on time,
was always prepared.

An episode of Fantasy Island turned
up next. Money was starting to come in.
Wilder noticed that it was Paul who
cashed the checks. Dorothy's husband
might have been helping her manage
her money, but Wilder also noticed that
he was spending more on himself than
he did on her. The couple bought a
1974 Mercedes 450SE trom Paul's pal
Jake for $13,000, but Dorothy com-
plained to Casilli that she never got to
use the car, because Paul had it all the
time, She made do with a beat-up 1967
Mercury Cougar.

Marilyn Grabowski had dinner with
Paul and Dorothy one cold, wet eve-
ning. Paul carried a mink coat over one
arm when they arrived and Marilyn
thought, Well, occasionally he can be
considerate, He's carrying her coat.
When they left the rest nt, there was
a light rain. Paul put the mink on him-
self.

In October, executives from ABC-TV
went to Hefner with a problem. The
Nielsen ratings for the new season
showed the network losing its lead in
ime programing to CBS. Playboy
Productions had given ABC a 25th
Anniversary show that had done well in
the ratings the previous spring. They
needed a similar special—something with
Playboy party theme—and they needed
it for November.

Hefner put together The Playboy
Roller-Disco and Pajama Party in record
time, Richard Dawson was the host.

said Dorothy

Chuck Mangione played by the pool in
the afternoon, and the Village People
held forth in the Great Hall at night.
Playmates were on camera throughout.
A special film segment featured the
Playmates of the Eighties. Dorothy did
a brief comedy bit with actor James
Caan, a pet squirrel and Caan's dog
Rooter. When Hefner looked at the
tape, he was so taken with the way
Dorothy came across on camera that he
gave her a running part with Dawson
throughout the show.

Someone else was impressed with
Dorothy Straten that day: film direc-
tor Peter Bogdanovich. Hefner had
been an executive producer on Bog-
danovich’s latest film, Saint Jack, which
had been adapted from а PLAYBOY story.
Bogdanovich was casting а new comedy
tiled They All Laughed. He was look-
ing for a beautiful ingénue to play a fea-
tured part in the film, Dorothy might
be a possibility if she could act. He told
her he was interested in hearing her read.

Dorothy called her agent. She'd heard
so much gossip about Peter Bogdanovich
and his previous romance with Cybill
Shepherd. She wondered: Was he serious
about having her read for the part?
David Wilder checked. Bogdanovich was
serious. Dave drove Dorothy to the
tor's house in Bel Air. She read for him.
He asked her back for a second reading.
This time Paul drove her to Bogdano-
vich’s—in the Mercedes. He sat parked
outside the directors gate the entire
evening.

In late November Dorothy learned
that she would be the 1980 Playmate of
the Year. Official notice would come
later, but she and Mario Casilli needed
to begin work immediately on the pho-
tography. Mario hadn't seen Dorothy
for a while. He was struck by how much
she'd matured from the shy, insecure kid
who first stepped off the plane from
Vancouver 15 months before. He was
fascinated by the way people responded
to her. When they walked through an
airport together, people would turn and
stare. She had the stately blonde thing,
he thought, even in baggy corduroy
slacks and a shirt. Part of it was the way
she walked. She was nearsighted and,
like a lot of nearsighted people, she car-
ried her nose a little in the
wasn't at all standoffish or a snob.
all the ycars he had becn photographing
Playmates, he'd never met anyone quite
like her.

Paul's plans were expanding with
Dorothy's career. He'd made a deal w
photographers Bill and Susan La Chasse
to photograph Dorothy on roller skates
wearing a sexy skating outfit. From this
Snider hoped to market a poster that he
figured would sell 1,000,000 copies and
earn, by his calculation, $300,000. Hc
wanted John Dcrek to do a book on
Dorothy similar to the one he was do-
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PLAYBOY

220

plans for a book about himself as well
and he paid a writer $1000 to write the
first draft of a biography.

Опе of Paul's few friends in L.A. was
a former Floridian named Chip Clar!
а healthspa manager and the boyfriend
of June 1979 Playmate Louann Fernald.
They'd met earlier that fall, Chip and
Louann's first weekend in town, when
Dorothy and Louann worked a Playmate
promotion together. Since Paul had so
much free time, he spent a lot of it with
Chip.

Chip was a laid-back guy who could
get along with almost anybody, but he
couldn't believe Paul. Ней never met a
more impulsive, hostile individual in his
je, with a real propensity for violence.
In the short time they'd known each
other. he'd seen Paul fly off the handle
and swing at strangers, chase cars, kick
doors, push. people down who provoked
him and throw food onto the floor in
restaurants if the service didn't suit him.
He embarrassed. Chip a lot of times in
public, but when just the two of them
were together, Chip found him good
company. Chip talked Paul into working
ош at the health spa, and they hung out

«there that winter, while the two women

were away on promotions. Chip and
Louann were among the first to sense
the trouble building in Paul and Dor-
othy's relationship.

Dorothy took her sister, Louise, who
was now almost 13, to Los Angeles for
Christmas. She'd started sending money
home to Nellie to pay for Louise's braces
and other things the family needed. She
gave Louise a tour of the Mansion and
ptroduced her to Heiner,

Two s after Christmas Dorothy

shot an episode of Buck Rogers in the
25th Century in which she played Miss
Cosmos, the most perfect woman in
the universe. When she found her name
listed in TV Guide, she rolled on the

floor in excitement. Then she called her
mother to share the thrill of the
discovery.

Bogdanovich invited Dorothy back for
a third reading. Her agent sent her опа
casting call to Crown International Pic-
tures, Producer Marilyn Tenser, a
tough-minded woman, not easily im-
pressed, was looking for a beautiful
young actress to play the title role in
Galaxina. Crown's first big-budget film,
Galaxina was a science-fiction satire
about a stunning female robot. Avery
Schreiber and James David Hinton were
to be the male co-stars.

“Director William Sachs and 1 had
interviewed more than 300 girls for the
part,” Tenser remembers. “The girl we
wanted not only had to be an actres
she had to be a knockout. Unforturi
ly, most of the girls who could act
weren't pretty enough.

"When Dorothy came in, she was
absolutely exquisite—and she read very
well You wouldn't expect а girl who
looked like that to be able to act, but
she could. She was convinced she was
going to be a major star and ] think
she would have been."

Dorothy got the part. Paul ordered
new license plates for their cars: GAL-x-
INA for the Mercury and star-80 for the
Mercedes,

Mario and Marilyn Grabowski both
noticed a change in Dorothy near the
end of the Playmate of the Year pho-
tography in January. She would arrive

“Pd estimate, Mr. Chairman, that
I've been a Congressional aide ever since I
reached the age of consent.”

at the studio tired and puffy-cyed. She
seemed moody and distant, a new ex-
perience. Paul would interrupt the
photo sessions with a phone call, an
argument would ensue and Dorothy
would go into her dressing room and cry-

Marilyn surprised Dorothy one after-
noon with a gift, a purebred Tibetan
Shih Tzu puppy. She thought it might
cheer her up. Mario photographed Dor-
othy playing with her new pet for the
Playmate of the Year pictorial, scheduled
for the June issue. Dorothy named the
dog Marston—Hefner's middle name—
and that evening she took it to the
Mansion to show him.

Later that week Mario asked Dorothy
about the puppy. She said Paul kept it
ith him all the time, so she couldn't

ith it. Three days later the dog

died.

Marilyn saw that Dorothy necded to
get away for a few days and suggested
the two of them spend a week at La

a health resort near San Diego.
two women worked out, played
tennis, swam. took massage and whirl-
pool treatments, ate lightly and slept
well. Dorothy was good company, but
she didn’t reveal what was woubling her.

Dorothy returned to L.A. five pounds
lighter. She looked sensational. Heragent
called with good news. Bogdanovich
wanted her for a part in They All
Laughed, which would star Ben Gazzara,
John Ritter and Audrey Hepburn. The
film was to be shot on location in New
York and Dorothy would have to leave at
the end of March, as soon as she finished
Galaxina. She was days away from her
20th birthday and well on the way to
her dream of stardom.

It was a process Hefner had seen
repeated in diffcrent ways many times
over the years. When a young woman
was chosen Playmate of the Month, it
was more than simply a modeling assign-
ment. It was an opportunity that could
lead to a dramatic change in her per-
sonal and professional life. What cach
Playmate did with that opportunity de-
pended a great deal on her own ind
vidua and lent, of
course—and none had come so far in so
short a time as had Dorothy Stratten.

Equally remarkable to Hefner was
how much she had grown as a person in
self-awareness and assurance—without
losing her unspoiled sensitivity.

For Dorothy, growing up also meant
struggling toward independence from
Paul's domination, Somewhere along the
way, she had realized that although she
still cared for Paul, still felt obligated
to him and concerned about his welfare,
she no longer wanted to live with him.
She talked about this change in her
feelings with Louann Fernald and oth-
er close friends. Louann remembered

ions

Christmas as the time when Dorothy
ted thinking seriously about leaving
Snider. Louann understood that she
meant to move slowly because she was
afraid of hurting him and possibly afraid
of what he might do.

One of Dorothy's first assertions of
independence was her decision to hire
а business п
ing career, she needed one. Actor Vince
Edwards, television's Ben Casey of
the Sixties and a friend she'd met at the
Mansion, suggested Robert Houston.
Houston's firm handled such clients as
Beatty, Farrah Fawcett, Paul
ad Goldie Hawn. Dorothy
made an appointment to meet with
Houston and Paul went along.

To Bob Houston Dorothy seemed like
а young woman starting out on a prom-
ising career who sincerely wanted to
establish responsible controls over her
financial life. Paul preferred. pontificat-
ing. theoretical discussions of how their
affairs ought to be arranged. Partners
the key word. Paul wanted equal
authority over her finances and half of
all her income. Dorothy didn't openly
disagree. But from her expressions,
Houston read a message to appease Paul
now and talk to her later. At which
point Houston would mumble some-
thing about legal difficulties or the prob-
lems of Canadian citizenship.

Houston discovered that Paul had no
real income of his own. He wasn't
Dorothy's agent and he wasn't her man-
ager—though he imagined he was an
liked telling strangers about “the
career. Houston understood what Paul
‚ and did his best to help Dorothy
deal with him.
ог tax purposes, Houston set up a
corporation called Dorothy Stratten En-

terpri eceive whatever money she
earned. its president, Hous-
ton's [ its treasurer, Houston
its secretary. She owned 100 percent of

its stock. The corporation’s income went
хо a separate account from which
Dorothy, but not Paul, could draw
funds. The corporation paid Dorothy a
salary that was deposited in a joint
checking account on which both she and.
Paul could sign.

Paul Snider chafed at this unexpected
ment of his easy access to Dor-

rnings. What upset him even
more was Dorothys heed
other th his own.
Before beginning Galaxina,

Dorothy
another pictorial for

PLAYBOY with Mario Casilli. It was an
unusual feature, ап idea Hefner sug-
gested to her; a tribute to the famous
blondes of Hollywood, in which she
would portray such classic sex stars ds
Betty Grable and Marilyn
theme intrigued Dorothy
and she read biographies of cach of the
stars to be depicted.

Galaxina was shot at a ranch in the

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221

PLAYBOY

mountains above Malibu, a long drive
from their house. Paul drove Doro-
thy to work in the morning, drove back
to keep an eye on her at lunchtime and
sometimes drove back again in the cve-
ning to pick her up. He'd burn a full
tank of gas a day. Between visits he
called the Galaxina set as he'd called
Mario's studio, and the calls reduced
Dorothy to tears. He badgered and bru-
talized her. Dorothy found a friend in
co-star James David Hinton, am easy-
going Texan and a Baylor graduate.
"They worked together into the evening;
in the camaraderie of filming, they spent
time together and Hinton fell in love.
But he discovered to his surprise that
Dorothy was straighter than the girls at
Baylor. She always called Paul to let him
know where she was. He rewarded her
with angry demands that she come home.

“I don't know why he wants me at
home,” Dorothy said to Hinton after
one call to Paul. “When I get there he'll
be out аса night club somewhere,

Paul wanted to go with Dorothy to
New York for the filming of They All
Laughed. She would be gone for three
weeks. She wanted the time to sort out
her feelings, away from Paul’s pressure.
Boldly she told him no, and she made
the decision stick.

In New York, she showed up on time,
as always, and quietly watched the pro-
duction taking shape. She was especially
fascinated with Audrey Hepburn and

studied her as she worked. Sometimes
Dorothy read—A Farewell to Arms or a
diet book. Bogdanovich treated her gent-
ly. “She was a darling little girl,” the
make-up specialist, Fern Buckner, later
told a reporter. "Very beautiful, of
course, Whatever you did to her was all
right."

Paul was suspicious from the begin-
ning. He couldn't imagine Dorothy
functioning independently, so he as-
sumed someone else must be manipulat-
ing her. She was working 12 hours a day
because Bogdanovich was pushing to
stay on a tight production schedule. She
was dicting strenuously, which gave her
headaches, and returning each night to
her room at the Wyndham Hotel to
study her lines. Paul called her in the
middle of the night to vent his dis-
pleasure at her absence, to threaten and
cajole, and especially to complain that
he needed money.

He worried as much about his worsen-
ing financial position as he did about
the prospect of losing Dorothy's affec
tion. He appeared almost daily at the
Union Bank in Century City to check
on the deposits and withdrawals in Dor-
othy's corporate trust accounts. Once,
he showed up with a brunette girlfriend
and tried to convince the teller that she
was Dorothy Stratcn. He wanted to
cash a check for $2000 on the corporate
When the teller refused to

account.

“Үои and your damn one on one!"

honor the check, Paul stomped out of
the bank in a rage.

He called Bob Houston one afternoon
with the news that Dorothy had changed
her mind and wanted n to have half
the stock and become an officer in the
corporation and a signer on the corpo-
rate bank account. "What the hell,
Bob,” he shouted at Houston in feigned
anger, “you're managing both of us, not
just Dorothy. What the hell!”

Another day he walked into the office
and announced, “Bob, we've got to do
it. This is the way it’s got to be. We're
partners in this thing. She'll share 50
percent in my income and Ll share 50
percent in hers.’

Houston called Dorothy in New York
to talk it over, “I just can't believe two
people can fight so hard over business
matters and still maintain a romantic
relationship.” he said along the way.

“Bob,” Dorothy told him sadly, “there
hasn't been a romantic relationship be-
tween Paul and me in over a yea

Exactly when Dorothy's relationship
with Peter Bogdanovich became more
than professional is unclear. Bogdano-
vich has been understandably reluctant
to discuss the matter since her death.
They may have been interested in each
other before New York: Dorothy's re-
fusal to allow Paul to accompany her
suggests that they were. But her lifelong
preference for single relationships
strongly suggests а later flaring of the
romance with Peter—in New York dur-
ing the filming of They All Laughed,
after her marriage to Paul had deterio-
rated beyond repair. р

Dorothy returned to Los Angeles in
mid-April during a br production.
When they next ed the Mansion,
Paul was even more inattentive to her
than usual. He spent most of his time
hitting on other women guests. Dorothy
sat quietly in a corner, talking with
friends. She found reasons to visit Bog-
danovich at his Bel Air home, telling
Paul that Peter was helping her with her
part in the picture.

Louann noticed that Dorothy didn’t
confide in her anymore, probably be-
cause she was afraid Louann would tell
Chip and Chip would tell Paul. On the
way to exercise class one morning, Lou-
ann noticed that Dorothy had taken up
smoking again. She scolded her for it.

“I don’t know what to do about Paul,”
Dorothy replied forlornly. “I wake up
in the morning and I'm so unhappy. He
makes me so nervous. I need a cigarette
to calm down. It's all I have.”

At home Paul had become a tyrant.
When Dorothy suggested the possibility
of a separation, he threatened her with
an echo of her father's abandonment:

"Once you walk out that door,' he
ranted, "you can never come back."
Louann heard the threat. It made her
angry.

“You treat your women just like you'd

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PLAYBOY

224

treat a horse,” she s:

“Well,” Paul replied defensively, “that
keeps her in line.”

At the end of the month Hefner in-
troduced Dorothy Stratten as the 1980
Playmate of the Year at a press luncheon
in her honor. A tent was erected on
the Mansion lawn to handle the crowd.
Art Buchwald flew in from Washington
to emcee, and the Washington Post re-
porter was once again on hand. Dorothy,
breath-takingly beautiful in a gold gown,
stood at Hef's side trembling in anticipa-
tion. He put an arm around her in
reassurance.

Buchwald convulsed the crowd with
a fanciful explanation of how the
Playmate of the Year is chosen. Then
Heiner introduced Dorothy. И

"She is someone quite special,” he
said. He told about her first flight from
Vancouver and her promising acting
career. He mentioned the $200,000 in
cash and prizes she would be receiving
as Playmate of the Year and handed her
а check for $25,000.

“For you, Dorothy,” he said, “with a
great deal of love.”

Dorothy thanked Mario Casilli, Ma
lyn Grabowski, Elizabeth Norris, Miki
Garcia of Playmate Promotions and Hef
for their friendship and "for helping to
make so many of my dreams come true.”

“Pm sure І must be the happiest girl
in the world today,” she said, beaming.

Dorothy responded easily to the re-
porters’ questions and posed for photog-
raphers on the stage. Paul stood at the
bar at the rear of the tent, drink in
hand, and glared into the middle dis-
tance.

The reporter from The Washington
Post remarked on how polished a per-
former Dorothy had become since the
Playmate Reunion the past September,
when her every word had been the re-
sult of Paul's prompting.

After the luncheon Dorothy was sched-
uled to tape a guest appearance on The
Tonight Show. Paul followed with his
own entourage. Dorothy barred him and
his pals from her dressing room.

With poise and good humor she de-
scribed her Playmate of the Year gifts to
Johnny Carson. Her $13,000 brasslined
roscwood bathtub seated ten people, she
said.

Carson winked a quick response:
"What are we going to tell the other
eight?"

For the next two weeks Dorothy toured
Canada again with Elizabeth Norris. As
Canada's first Playmate of the Year, she
was a major celebrity there. Elizabeth
noticed the new polish in both her ap-
pearance and her performance, but she
also realized Dorothy was working under
terrific stress. Paul called constantly.
Elizabeth heard her sobbing in her room
long after midnight.

А few days into the tour Dorothy de-

cided to write Paul a letter. She let
Elizabeth read what she had written
and then sent it off by courier.

1 want to be free, the letter said. Let
the bird fly. If you love me, you'll let
me go. If what we had was right, I'll
come back,

And then the agony of waiting for a
reply. Sitting through interviews. Meet-
ing the public. Appearing on talk shows.
Smiling all the while, Elizabeth noticed
with admiration.

Paul called in a rage. Freaked out.
‘Threatening, But he caught himself in
midsentence, thought better of it and
hung up. Ten minutes later, when he
called back, he managed to sound calm.

Elizabeth knew there was someone else
in Dorothy's life. She didn't know who.
In the middle of the tour Dorothy
begged the weekend off to go to New
York. She came back Sunday night, hop-
ping happily down the hall, carrying her
own luggage, kicking the hotel-room
door: “Elizabeth, I'm home!" She went
in, set down her bags, stood at the foot
of the bed, deliriously fell backward,
feet flying. “Oh, Elizabeth,” she said,
had such a wonderful time!”

‘The phone rang. Elizabeth answered.
New York was on the line. “1 don't
know who you are,” Elizabeth said,
“but thank you for making Dorothy so
happy." И was Peter, calling to make
certain Dorothy had returned to Toron-
to safely.

The Canadian tour was once again
scheduled to end in Vancouver. The
timing had been arranged to get Doro-
thy home {ог her mother's wedding.
Nellie was marrying a broad-shouldered,
soft-spoken master mechanic named Burl
Eldridge. Burl restored classic automo-
biles for a living. Hed admired Nellie
from a distance for weeks, and finally
asked her out. A month after they start-
ed dating, he proposed.

Paul announced he was going to Van-
couver for the wedding, though he
hadn't been invited. Dorothy reluctantly
agreed to meet him there. She told
Elizabeth that the meeting worried her.
She seemed afraid of Paul. Elizabeth
offered to arrange for a bodyguard. The
offer surprised Dorothy. "I can handle
Paul by myself," she said.

Snider barged in on Nellie's wedding
reception and disrupted the day. When
he wasn't following Dorothy around the
house arguing, he was on the phone
setting up promotions for her with club
owners he knew.

Everybody at the reception. wanted
Dorothy's autograph and to have his
picture taken with her. Dorothy's broth.
ег, John, tended bar. Her sister, Lou-
ise, sat on their new father's lap.

Paul tried to tell Burl how to open
a bottle of wine. Eldridge knew his way
around fine cars and their wealthy own-
ers. He'd been biggame hunting in

Africa and he didn't need advice from
Paul Snider.

"I was opening these things before
you were born," he told Paul, who
disappeared from the kitchen. There
was something furtive about him, Burl
thought. He never Jooked you straight
in the eye.

Paul dragged Dorothy off to her suite
at the Four Seasons Hotel and ranted
and raved at her most of the night. "He
was so mean, Mum,” Dorothy told her
mother afterward. “So mean.”

Paul insisted that Dorothy remain in
Vancouver several more days. He had
his own plans for promoting her. De-
spite her strenuous two-week tour of
nada for the magazine, he ordered
her to make appearances at night clubs
along Hornby Street. He charged the
club owners for each appearance and
pocketed the fees.

Dorothy returned to New York, to
Peter and the filming of They All Laughed.
She was still undecided about whether or
not to end her marriage. She wanted a
separation. She was sure of that. But she
also wanted to be fair to Paul. And Paul
insisted that she “owed” him.

On a rainy Manhattan morning early
in June, she wrote to Nellie and Burl
about the confusion she felt:

Thank you very much for all
your concern and advice, but as you
know, my problem gocs much deep-
er than money, and as you also
know, I don't intend to use money
аѕ ап excuse. Everyone needs money
to live, but I won't decide about
my marriage on that basis. All I
want is to be happy, no matter how
rich or poor, and if it makes me
happy to give everything away for
my freedom, then that's what I'll do.

"Throughout the month, Paul found
it increasingly difficult to reach Dorothy
on the phone. She had all her calls
screened now and spent less time at the
Wyndham and more with Peter at the
Plaza.

By the end of June she'd made up her
mind. She sent Paul a letter declaring
their physical and financial separation.

Paul had several responses to the sepa-
ration. He cleaned out their joint bank
account, buying some $1500 worth of
new clothes and the gear he needed to
install Dorothy's Playmate of the Year
stereo equipment in his living room. He
called an old girlfriend in Vancouver
and talked her into flying down for a few
days to console him. And he went to see a
divorce lawyer, J. Michael Kelly, who took
him as a client. Since Paul considered
himself Dorothy's personal manager, he
believed he might have grounds for a
suit against Bogdanovich for encourag-
ing Dorothy to leave him.

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PLAYBOY

Paul went to see Bob Houston about
financial arrangements. Dorothy had in-
structed Houston to pay Paul's rent and
other living expenses. She also agreed
to several lump-sum payments, including
one to repay a Joan Paul had received
from his mother.

“Dorothy's going to pay all your bills,”
Bob told Paul, “plus a cash settlement.
Under California law, you're entitled to

half of everything earned to date. What
could be fairer than that?”

After taxes, Houston calculated, that
would come to about $40,000. Enough,
in his estimation, for a healthy young
man to buy himself a new start.

Snider had other ideas. He was think-
ing about alimony. Maybe 50 percent
of Dorothy's gross income for the next
three years.

“That's not realistic, Paul,” Houston
said. "You've taken enough from this
woman. You're not going to extort any
more.

But Paul wasn't listening, He collect
ed more than $5000 in cash advances in
the month of July, but he told Chip
Clark that Dorothy had cut him off.

Dorothy and Peter kept their rela-
tionship quiet in New York. The New
York press missed the story entirely.
Each had occasion to call Hefner during
production, but neither mentioned it to
him.

Dorothy called to ask Hefner's advice.
Peter had suggested she switch agents
and sign with William Morris, a major
talent agency. Hefner thought she ought
to wait until her return to L.A., when
they could discuss the change at length.

Peter called to tell Hefner how well
Dorothy was doing in the picture. Неа
given her additional lines, he said, and
added a roller-skating sequence. He was
enthusiastic about her performance, but
he neglected to add that they had fallen
in love.

New York Village Voice reporter
Teresa Carpenter discovered later that
not even the production crew really no-
ticed the romance until near the end of
shooting. Then Peter and Dorothy be-
gan coming to work holding hands.

“Тат in touch with my feelings, Michelle. What I want
is for you to be in touch with my feelings.”

“One day Bogdanovich walked over to a
couch, where Dorothy sat chewing gum,”
Carpenter would write. “ ‘You shouldn't
chew gum,’ he admonished. ‘It has sugar
in it” [Dorothy] playfully removed the
wad from her moutli and deposited it in
his palm." By that time, Bogdanovich
had affectionately begun calling her
D.R. for Dorothy Ruth; she, in turn,
had begun calling him Р.В.

Dorothys role in They All Laughed
isn't a big one, but as Carpenter wrote
in The Village Voice, "Dorothy, by all
accounts, emerges as а shimmering ser-
aph, a vision of perfection clad perenni-
ally in white. In one scene she is found
ng in the Algonquin Hotel bathed
in a diaphanous light. ‘It was one of
those scenes that could make a career,’
recalls a member of the crew. ‘People in
ing room rustled when they

wrapped in mid-July. Peter
flew with Dorothy to London on the
Concorde {ог a short vacation. They
registered at the Dorchester Hotel under
assumed names. Hc bought her a new
wardrobe and proceeded to show her
the town.

Paul Snider had always found time for
other women. At a Mansion party the
previous summer, a startled guest had
come upon him on a lounge chair by the
pool screwing someone else's date. Now
Chip noticed that he was seeing several
different girls. They all had sympathetic,
comforting natures. Paul would spend
the whole evening talking about Dor-
othy and the girls would console him.

One regular overnight guest was a
student at Loyola Marymount named
Lynn Hayes. Paul had picked her up at
the Max 151 disco in Beverly Hills. Lynn
took Paul's obsession with Dorothy per-
sonally. It made her jealous. When Paul
talked about Dorothy, she got mad.

Paul asked Chip if he'd like to move
into the spare bedroom. He could use
the money, he said, so he wanted to sub-
lease it. Chip wasn't interested, so Paul
offered the room to Patti Laurman, who
lived way out in Riverside. He'd met Patti
at an auto show in November 1979 and
was grooming her to be a second Doro-
thy Stratten. A young, blonde check-out
girl who modeled on the side, Patti was
no Dorothy. Snider had tried to interest
Casilli in photographing her for PLAYBOY,
but he had declined, because, at 17, she
was still under the age of consent. Patti
agreed to take the room and moved in
with her water bed, her clothes and her
record collection.

То earn money that summer, Paul and
Chip built weight benches with the metal-
working tools Paul had assembled in the
days when he customized motorcycles in
Vancouver. He sold the benches to Chip's
customers at the health club and through
ads in The Recycler, a local newspaper.

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White rumalso mixes marvelously
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Why? Because every drop of Puerto
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one full year. And when it comes to
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Hint: For more zip and zest in your
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Make sure the rum is Puerto Rican.

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PLAYBOY

228

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One day he took Chip to the Pleasure
Chest, a sex shop on Santa Monica Bou
levard, and showed him an S/M chair—a
bondage bench—that sold for $300. Back
at the house they put together their own
version ofa bondage bench—steel frame,
padded boards, Velcro restraints—with
the same materials used in the weight
bench. Paul talked about selling bondage
benches to sex shops through ads in sex
magazines, but Chip didn’t think he was
serious. Weight benches accumulated
around the house—a dozen or more by
late summer. The bondage bench sat in
a corner of Paul's bedroom.

Paul Snider's moods grew darker
in the last days of July—alternating
between anger and despair. The doctor
who shared the house found him sitting
alone in the living room one evening try-
ing to compose a letter to Dorothy. “This
is really hard,” he said. He started to cry.
Paul felt Dorothy might now be so cut off
from him by her lawyers and Bogdano-
vich that he would never see her again.

He called their former roommate
carly one morning, crying, and asked
her to intercede for him with Dorothy.
"I've lost her mind," he said. “She won't
listen to me anymore. You're her best
friend. You've got to talk to her. We've
got to get her back in tune with me
again."

Molly had no intention of helping
Paul. She was pleased that Dorothy
might finally be free of him. He talked
about killing himself and the young ас
tress thought he sounded spaced out. He
told her to come over, he wanted to talk,
but she refused. She was too afraid of
him to consider being with him alone.

Dorothy and Peter quietly returned
from London to Peter's home in Bel Air
in late July. The night Paul learned that
Dorothy was back, he drove to Bel Air in
the Mercedes with a .38-caliber police
special Chip had lent him. “I need it for
protection,” he'd said. He sat outside
Bogdanovich's front gate for two hours
with the weapon. He then drove up
10 the hills above Bel Air, parked and
thought about killing himself. He fired
the revolver twice before he drove home.

Dorothy had never been happier or
busier, though she still had nagging con-
cerns about Paul. She flew to Houston
and Dallas on a three-day promotion the
first weck in August. She had been ар-
proached to play Marilyn Monroe in
Lawrence Schiller's TV movie about the
famous actress but was still working on

(a
iN

“All right, then—but only if my boyfriend can watch.”

PLAYBOY

230

In Houston, Dorothy threw out the
first ball at an Astros game. She wanted
10 work out a final separation from Paul,
and she felt a strong sense of responsibil-
ity about doing it herself. She called him
from Houston and agreed to have lunch
with him on Friday, August eighth.

“The queen is coming back
boasted at dinner with friends Thursday
night.

Patti cleaned the house for Dorothy's
visit. Paul bought champagne and red
roses. He put on the three-piece fawn
suit he'd worn at their wedding. He'd
predicted she would wear something
dressy to their meeting. She arrived
in casual clothes and the reunion went
downhill from there. Dorothy didn't
read the card on the roses and barely
e 3 sipped at the champagne. They went out
an ounce of Kahlúa ы Ц 2 2 for lunch. She patiently explained to him
їо two ounces of that the relationship had run its course.
= vodka on the rocks. \- е ] » She was serious about a separation and
For a delicious Я E wanted to proceed with a settlement.

change of taste, just Ss
add cream or milk. "* s е ; When Patti Laurman returned to the

And do send for the house, she found Paul and Dorothy
Kahlüa recipe book. ў there, smiling and talking. At first Patti
* Compliments of the house. thought they'd reconciled.
-Maidstone Wine & Spirits Inc. ; hor.

116 No. Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles е оаа тегла аер а
CA90048 © 1980 Kahláa. R 2 Маз, she's leaving," Paul said de-
Coffee Liqueur from Sunny Mexico. 53 Proof. EE e | jectedly.

- "The telephone rang. It was Bogdano-
vich's secretary, Linda Ewing. Dorothy
spoke to her briefly, then chatted with
Patti and went through her clothes.
She took some, left the rest for Patti.
Alter Dorothy left, Linda called again
to make sure she had gone.

Traydition.

REWIN The gay nineties were notorious for their
R carefree spiritand style. Let these nostalgic m В М
trays add that same flair to everything I couldn't get through to her," Paul
you serve. They're reproductions from told Patti. “Bogdanovich has got her
the nna ЕР шоп archives, сга in the palm of his hand. Nothing I say
lade of 26-gauge steel. Size er шше”
Vr Pe Ee a ae to her sinks in anymore.

Pauls girlfriend Lynn Hayes refused
to go to the house that day after his
meeting with Dorothy. She was jealous
and angry. Paul never bought her cham-
pagne or roses. When they went to the
beach or rollerskating, he asked her to
pay for the hot dogs.

Friday evening Chip and Louann

dropped by Paul's house to pick up

Chip’s .38. Chip was moving back to

tray sells) at $11.95 each, plus Н Florida and wanted Louann to have

$1.50 per order for postage and handling. Enclosed is my check І | the gun for protection, he said. Paul

or money order for the total amount of $-

Dc! Owes re went to get the gun, walked outside with

EYE ТЕ] КЕ БҮ EE Өй БЕП LI Patti, raised it over his head and fired

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231

thought he heard a shot.

"Are you shooting down there?” he
called to Paul.

“No,” Paul called back, "that was a
backfire on the freeway.”

When Paul handed him the gun, Chip
checked the cylinder and found that not.
just one but three shots had been fired.
He askcd Paul about it

PLAYBOY

al said. "Its a sober-
cally

out my way," Pa
ing experience to sit there and
contemplate the end.”

Paul told one of the women in his
life something more: that he'd thought
about killing Dorothy and then himself.

On Saturday, August ninth, Paul and
Patti went to a gun store, where Paul
tried to buy a $300 semi-autom
“For protection,” he said. The dealer
couldn't sell the rifle to Paul because of
his Canadian citizenship. Paul asked an
acquaintance to buy the rifle for him but
without succe

On Sunday, the tenth, Paul wanted a
party. He gave Patti a list of 20 namcs.
He had strawberry daiquiris, barbecued
chicken, a tossed salad, rolls, Jell-O and
jug wine. Fewer than half the people
Patti called showed up. Dorothy was sup-
posed to call him to confirm a meeting
on Thursday to talk about the settle-
ment. When he didn't hear from her, he
was furious.

Dorothy had gone with Louise to the
desert northeast of L.A. for a sunglasses
promotion shooting for Optyl. She would
be there two days. She called Paul on
Monday from her motel and agreed to
sce him at the house on Thursday, after
a morning mecting with Bob Houston.
Then she and Louise called Nellie. Doi
thy told her mother about the lunch with
Paul three days before. “His eyes looked
so sad, Mum,” she said.

It worried Nellie. She thought Paul
was being too quiet. It wasn’t like hin.
“Don't go and see him again,” she ad-
vised her daughter. "It's dangerous.”

"Oh, Mum," Dorothy said, “what
could he do?
He could hurt you,” Nellie w;

Paul found a shotgun for sale in The
Recycler. On Monday, he called the
owner and anged to drive out to
the San. Fernando Valley to see it. Patti
for the ride. They stopped
1 Brander’s to enroll Patti in
acting class. Paul bitched at length
about Bogdanovich's turning Dorothy
l while he was there.
way out, he slammed his fist
into the side of Brander’s jeep. He drove
off toward the valley, got lost, drove
back to Beverly Hills, called the owner
of the shotgun and arranged to meet him
5 later. On Tuesday, August 12, he

and stopped to
wrong, Patrick
ng, but he wasn't

lk. Something was
232 thought: Paul was tall

making sensc.

The writer Paul had commissioned to
do his biography got an unexpected
phone call. "Hang on to my story," Paul
aid. "It's going to be worth something.
[he м now what he was
talking about.

On Tuesday evening, Bogdanovich
dropped in on Hefner at the Mansion.
It was the first time they had seen each.
other in months. They sat together on
а couch in the Living Room. Peter
couldn't stay seated. He kept jum]
up as he spoke of Dorothy and the
picture.

“She's wonderful in it,” he said, pac-
ing about. “You're going to be very
proud of her."

“I already am,” Hefner replied.
then told Hefner about his rcla-
tionship with Dorothy.

Hefner chided him for their secrec

"We're trying to keep a low profile
until after the film released,” Peter
said. "I don’t want Dorothy to go
through what Cybill and I did in the
press.”

isn't a casual affair," Hef-
ner said. “Dorothy deserves better than
that.”

Peter grew serious, shaking his head.
“I'm in love," he said, "but 1 mean
really in love. Гуе never felt this way
about anyone before in my life.”

Marilyn Grabowski took Dorothy and
Louise to lunch at Le Dome on Wednes-
day, August 13. The French menu con-
fused Louise and Dorothy helped her
young sister order. Louise finally decided
wanted a hamburger.

Marilyn couldn't get over how good
Dorothy looked. She was always lovely,
but at lunch that afternoon she was
luminous. Marilyn asked about her Lon-
don holiday and commented on how
happy she scemed. Dorothy nodded, then
actually blushed.

She was pleased with the layout she'd
been shown for her Hollywood-blondes
pictorial. They discussed her schedule
for the rest of the week. She was meeting
with Bob Houston on Thursday morn-
ng. On Friday she was to sce Marty
Krofft to talk about the part in The
Last Desperado. She had а good chance
She was also scheduled to appear
on The Merv Griffin Show. Over
dessert, Marilyn asked about Paul. Dor-
othy said she thought they could work
things out and remain friends. She
didn't mention that she planned to see
him the next day.

Snider met the shotgun owner at a
construction site. The man showed
Paul how to load and fire the weapon—
it was a short-barreled 12-gauge Moss-
berg pump—and advised him to buy
heavy number-four buckshot if he meant
to use it for personal protection. Al-
though he noticed that Paul was wcaring
a diamond bracelet, he let him talk the
price down from $150 to $125. Snider

put the gun in its case, put the case in
the trunk of the Mercedes and drove off
to buy a box of shells.

‘That same day Paul met with his
yer, J. Michael Kelly, and talked about
a house he wanted Dorothy to buy with
him in North Hollywood as an invest-

ment for $185,000. A lile Sater, he
called Houston. “You're mecting with
Dorothy tomorrow,” he said. “Ask her

about the house.” Houston hadn't heard
about any house. He thought Snider
might be setting him up for something.
so he decided not to talk houses with
Dorothy unless she brought the subject

up.

‘Somer a F
told Bill and Susan La

ils
uen

The
ners in the ill-

La Chasses had be
ed Dorothy Str

par
poster project. A poster had been

nider’s idea for a big score; he un-
Шу estimated that it might nct
al hundred thousand dollars.
Eventually, from New York, Dorothy
had turned the project down, Paul had
angrily blamed Bogdanovich.

Now, in a strangely jovial mood. he
mentioned Claudia Jen » 970
Playmate of the Year, whose care
an actress had been cut short by
cident the previous
Playmates get killed," he said. “$
actresses die before their films come out.
When that happens, it causes a lot of
trouble.’
comments

were cu

just bought a shotgun. ^
up hunting,” he said with a sm

Patti went home from her first acting
lesson to find Paul standing alone in the
itchen staring into space. Later, with
Lynn, they watched One Flew Over (he
Cuckoo's Nest. It was one of Dorothy's
favorite films.

"Thursday, August 11, 1980. At break-
fast, Paul made a list of points he meant
to raise with Dorothy. In addition to a
cash settlement. he wanted an income.
He wanted her help in obi work
permit. She could 1
tion, but he didn't want a divorce. Patti
vacuumed. Lynn wuched television

Dorothy decided that it would be
better not to tell Bogdanovich she was
meeting with Paul. She asked Louise if
she wanted to go along. Louise said no,
she'd rather stay at Peter's with his wo
daughters. Dorothy asked her sister not
10 mention to anyone else where she was
going and then left for her ten-o'clock
appointment with Bob Houston.

her business manager
his conference room. They dis-
c possibility of getting her a

Dorothy and

met
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new agent. Her lawyer had suggested
William Morris or Creative Artists. Hous-
ton gave her a box of checks for her
new bank account and had her fill out
an application for an American Express
card. She asked about buying a car. Paul
had sold the Jaguar XJ-S and a few of
the other gifts she'd received as Playmate
of the Year. He wouldn't give up their
Mercedes and the 1967 Cougar she'd
been driving was falling apart.
dered if she could afford a used Fiat.

"You don't want to drive a second-
hand car," Houston said. "Let me ar-
range a lease on a new BMW 320 i or an
Alfa Rome

“Can I really afford that?" she asked.

"Yes

She smiled.

"But what if I have to give all the
money to Paul?" she asked, the smile
fading.

“You won't have to give all the money
to Paul," Bob assured her. He reminded
her that the part she would be meeting
Marty Krofft the next day to discuss was
а $100,000 leading role. “Don't worry so
much,” he said. “You're doing just fine.”

Paul called. Houston took the call in
his ofice and Snider was cloying:
“How are you today, Bob? Dorothy's
there, huh? Oh, good. How are things
going? You talk about the house yet?”

Bob told him they hadn't talked about.
any houses yet.

“OK,” Paul said. “Well, when do you
think Dorothy will be leaving there?
Half an hour or so? Well, why don’t you
have her give me a call before she
leaves?"

Back in the conference room Bob told
Dorothy about the call. She said that
she'd agreed to meet Paul again because
he was being nice about everything and
she wanted to keep it that way.

"There's really no need for you to go
see him," Bob said. "It's none of my
busines, but you don't have to put
yourself. through that. It's at the stage
where the lawyers should be doing the
talking.”

“It’s better this way," Dorothy said. "I
want a divorce, but I don't think Paul
сап handle it yet." She wanted to proceed
With the property settlement and the
Separation. now, and the divorce later.
She was convinced that everything would
be casier if she met and talked with him
in person. “I'd like to remain his friend,"
she told Houston.

Dorothy called Paul to say she was
оп her way and then she left.

Snider called Houston again about
five minutes later. “Hey,” he said, “I
understand she's on the way. Did you
Bet to talk about the house?”

Bob said, "No, we didn't talk about
any house. We talked about a settle-
ment, you know, a property settlement.”
‚ “Ob, good," Paul said. “OK, nice talk-
ing to you." And he hung up.

Paul was alone іп the house when
Dorothy arrived, shortly after 12 noon.
Patti and Lynn had left at 11 to go roller-
skating in Venice and Paul had agreed
to meet them at two.

Sometime earlier, Snider had consid-
ered secretly taping the meeting and
trying to get Dorothy to say something
about taking care of him, something he
could use in a daim for financial support.
He gave up on the plan when he couldn't
assemble the necessary gear.

Lynn and Patti called the house
around two o-clock. No one answered.
They called several more times during
the afternoon. No response.

They called several more times during
the afternoon. Coldstein began calling
about 2:30. No response.

Nellie phoned Louise from Vancou-
ver that afternoon. She asked to talk
to Dorothy Remembering her
instructions, Louise replied,
downstairs at the pool, Mum. She's swim-
ming. She can't come to the phone."

Lynn and Patti returned from skating
at five р.м. and noticed the two cars
outside the house, Dorothy's GALX-INA
Cougar and Paul's srar-80 Mercedes.
"The door to the downstairs bedroom
was closed. They assumed Paul and
Dorothy wanted to be alone and went
upstairs. They found Dorothy’s purse in
the upstairs living room. They watched
the evening news. Paul's phone rang
and kept on ringing and no one an-
swered it. At 6:30 the two girls went off
to have dinner together.

Steve Cushner, the doctor, Paul's
housemate, came home an hour later
and also noticed the closed door as he

“How do you spell transsexual?”

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went upstairs The ringing bedroom
phone bothered him as it һай bothered
the girls. His German shepherd seemed
restless in the back yard.

At eight that evening Lynn dropped
Pati back at the house. "Call me as
soon as they come out," Lynn said. "I
want to know everything that hap-
pened.” Lynn drove angrily to her f
ily home in Canoga Park, jealous that
Paul was still with Dorothy.

Patti and Steve watched television
together in the living room upstairs
and listened to the intermittent ringing
of the phone. Cushner went down to
investigate, but Patti was afraid to go. He
knocked and there was no response. He
opened the door, saw two naked bodies,
an arc of blood and tissue sprayed across
the wall and ceiling, and dosed the door
again. He was a doctor. He knew the look
of death,

The police weren't notified until
5 AM. They arrived at 12:90.

When Lieutenant Glenn Ackerman
came onto the scene soon after. he
decided he was dealing with a murder-
suicide, a conclusion confirmed by
further investigation and the coroner's
report. Paul's and Dorothy's clothes
were strewed on the floor at one side of
the bed. Paul's body lay nearer the door,
face down on top of the shotgun in a
pool of blood, his head shattered by a
ssive, powder-burned wound.

Dorothy's body lay across one corner
of the bed, her knees on the floor, her
face turned down and away from the
door, so she almost appeared to be
asleep. She had been killed by a shot-
gun blast into the left side of her face.
She had raised her left hand in defense
and the shot had taken off the tip of her
lett forefinger. Death was instantaneous.

There had been a struggle. Stands
of Dorothy's long, blonde hair were
found clutched in Pauls hand. She
had been sexually assaulted,
belore and alter she was
police believed that she had died at
least an hour before Paul Snider took
his own life. There were bloody hand-
prints om her left leg, her buttocks
and her left arm and shoulder. Paul's
hands were covered with blood. At the
end of the room beyond the two bodies
sat the bondage bench Paul and Chip
had built, Chip thought, as a joke.
Several strips of tape hung loosely from
the wall and from the TV set, used and
unused, some having served as ligatures
to bind her

On the table next to the bed was à
five-page letter to Paul from Lynn com-
plaining about his brooding obsession
with Dorothy and his daily exploitation

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of Patti as domestic help.

Hefner was playing pinball with a few
friends in the Game House when the
phone rang that night. His secretary,
Cis Rundle, said that a man wanted to
talk to him on a matter of some urgency.
Hefner suggested she take a message. A
few moments later she was back. “I think
you'd better talk to him, Hef,” she said.
“It sounds important.”

Hefner took the phone. A few seconds
later the color drained from his face
He grew ashen. All activity in the Game
House ceased as the awareness spread
among his friends that something ter
rible had occurred

What happened?” Hefner asked
after a long silence. “Is it. . а murder-
suicide?” Hefner knew nothing of Paul's
proclivity for violence, but it was the
first thought that occurred to him

iram Walk
hg f 2

Hefner spoke to an Officer Michael
Woodings. Not until the police officer
had given him his name and badge num-
ber did Hefner fully believe this wasn't a
hideous joke, the sort of obscene prank
that Paul might pull.

“What have you got there?" Hefner
asked. Woodingy said that the investigat
ing officer hadn't yet but it
ippcared to be a murder-suicide

When Hefner put down the phone.
his hand was shaking. The friends in
the Game House were alo Dorothy's
Jriends and the shock of what had hap-
pened stunned them. The women were
all crying and consoling one another
The men were shaking their heads in dis-
belief and cursing Snider. Hefner de
cided he'd better call Peter Bogdanovich,

arrived

"Something terrible has ppened,
Peter,” he said when the call went
through. "Dorothy is dead. . . 7 Helner

heard a moan, heard the telephone drop.
Then the line went dead. He dialed a
second number at Peter's residence and
a houseman answered. Hef could hear
Bogdanovich sobbing in the background.
“This is Hefner again,” he said. “1 just
wanted to make sure Peter had someone
with him.”

Cis Rundle, who is a parttime mem-
bı of the Mansion май knew that
the crisis required more experience than
she had. She called Hefner's Executive
Assistant, Lisa Loving. Cis was so upset
when she called that Lisa had trouble
understanding her. She understood only
that someone “My fist
thought was that something had hap-
pened to Hef," Lisa said later. "I hung
up the phone, grabbed a robe to cover
my nightgown and jumped in my car. I
don't think it took me two minutes to
ger back to the Mansion
lights. I was shaking the whole way. I
left my car in the middle of the drive
with the motor still running. I
fast as 1 could to the Game House. God.
Then I saw Hef; he was

was dead.

I ran two red

1 was scare
standing, he was OK. I went up to him
and touched his arm. It was the strangest
thing. It was like his skin was moving
he was shaking so hard, and he didn't
look good at all, Hef put his arm a ‘ound
my shoulder and told me Dorothy St
ten was dead

"АП the girls in the Game House
were crying." Lisa remembered. "Cis
and Victoria Cooke were holding cach
other. Heidi Sorenson seemed to be in
a daze.” Lisa suggested they all go back
into the house; on the way Hefner toll
her what little he knew about what had
happened. He wondered il he ought 10
all Dorothy's family in Vancouver. List
said the authorities would send someone
to the house in person, and she would
sce to that.

Heine
Lisa ord

badly shaken, went upstairs
d hot tea from the kitchen,

“T believe it started with an innuendo about an excess
of salt in a consommé julienne.”

237

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told the stall to direct all incoming calls
to her and went into the dining room,
where she did her best to calm the girls,

Heidi, an upcoming Playmate, who
Iso from Canada, had sı to cry а
couldn't stop. .

^] told them how lucky we were to
have known Dorothy in the first place.”
Lisa would recall. “Dorothy had touched
а lot of people and we were lucky to
have been a part of that. She had left
a great deal behind for all of us to
remember.”

Then Sondra Theodore and Kelly
Tough arrived home after a rehearsal
for Playmates. Lisa met
them at the door. Sondra started laugh-
ing and hugged her.

The

time you've gone too far,
Loving,” Sondra said. “Just because Hef
works in his pajamas doesn't mean you
can come to work in your nightgown!”

airs" Lisa told them.

Hef

needs you.

“I didn't want them to wander into
the dining room and see everyone ery-
ing,” she said later. She thought Hefner
was the one who should tell them the
bad news—Sondra because she was Het
пет» girlfriend: Kelly because she had
known Dorothy since high school in
Vancouver.

“1 knew I wouldn't be able to sleep.
Lisa remembered, “and that I had a very
long. hard day ahead of me. It was
1:30 л.м. and, as far as I was concerned,
time to start waking the world of
Playboy. 1 think 1 was tired of being
the only one awake I've
never had to tell anyone about a death
before, much less get them out of bed
to give them the news. | called our
people in New York and Chicago first
then J started in on Los An; Mari
lyn Grabowski, the head of security,
the director of public relations and on
down the line. Every person 1 called
seemed to understand what I was sayin
but every one of them called me back
to ask if I had really just called and to
repeat what I had told them.

“Alter that, the phone never stopped
ringing. Newspapers called asking lor
a statement. The county coroner called
requesting information on Dorothy's
next of kin. At about eight A.M, Man-
sion office staffer Judi Bradford came in
Her eyes were still pully with sleep
Her brother works for a radio station;
he'd called and told her the news. She
came immediately. I was sitting at my
desk feeling a little numb. She said, ‘Are
you still here, or here again?’ Then she
saw that I was still wearing my night
gown. She hugged me and said, on.

(continued on page 212)

nd working

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It's because the poor soles need cush-
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Look for Pro Cornfort products at sporting
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PLAYBOY POTPOURRI

people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement

LYING IS THE NAME OF THE GAME
Liars Poker is a game using the serial num-
bers on dollar bills as poker hands. If
you're a novice, learning the ropes can be
expensive—which is why you should invest

in a l2.page booklet, Liars Poker Any-
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a pass on gambling with a guy named Long.

SOMETHING SCREWY

For such a utilitarian object, the corkscrew has.
fascinated inventors for generations. But ha
the real corker—a limited-edition softcover
book, Guide to American Corkscrews, avail-
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19 The book contains more than 200 patent
drawings of corkscrews, extractors, etc., regis-
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You take the cork, we'll take the contents.

HIP TO HOLSTERS
With Westernwear still re-
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the fashion saddle in most
parts of the country, ай
sorts of paraphernalia have
hit the market to make life
easier for urban cowpokes of
both sexes. Enter the Hip
Hold-ster—a holsterlike
carryall in top-grain leather.
or suede that straps to your
leg and serves as a reposi-
tory for car keys, wallet or
whatever. (You might even
want to carry chewing tobacco
in it) I-vic-T. Enterprises,

59 Sheridan Drive, N.E.,
Adanta, Georgia 30305, is the
manufacturer, and at only
$31 (with concho) or 531 (no
concho) each, postpaid, you
may wish to really dude up
your act and order a pair. Just
r them to the bank.

THAR SHE BLOWS—AGAIN!
Want to relive the terrible eruption of Mount St. Helens over and
over again in the privacy and comfort of your living room?
Fisher Broadcasting, 100 Fourth Avenue N., Seattle, Washington
98109, has put together the "best of” the eruption footage—be
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background information, all packaged in a 26-minute video
cassette (Beta or VHS) for only $39, postpaid. Put it on while
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YOUR. WORRIES ARE OVER
Feel like you've got the troubles of the
world on your shoulders? Is that what's
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can send the A.W.S. unlimited. worries.

We're worried that Acme is going to
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they'll forget to worry about our worries.

GONE ELECTRONIC FISHIN
It had to happen: The space-age Eighties
have invaded the old fishin’ hole and at
the end of the line is the ME-1000, a pow-
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programmed for fishing depth, jigging
cyde and jigging space—plus a whole
school of other exotic features. Check with
Miya Epoch, the manufacturer, at 1635
Crenshaw Boulevard, Torrance, California
90501, for more info. Fishy they ain't.

LEARNING THE ABC'S
Searching old newspapers and
periodicals for Reagan memora-
bilia is rapidly becoming the
national pastime. So far, we've
seen a picture of Reagan stand-
ing on his head next to Bonzo
the irrepressible chimpanzee,
Reagan posing in a bathing suit
for an art-studies class and, now,
fresh from a 1948 advertising
campaign, we have the star of
Warner Bros.’ The Voice of
the Turtle endorsing Chesterfield
cigarettes. Apple of the Earth,
P.O. Box 17711, Denver, Colo-
rado 80217, is selling 11"x17"
black-and-white reproductions of
this now-famous ad for only
$2.50 cach or three for $5.50.
Since nonsmoker Reagan claims
that the Chesterfield agency
painted in his cigarette, his ac
companying statement that “It
takes ABC to satisly me" is more
mystifying than satisfying.

PERSONAL PUZZLES
Crossword-puzzle freaks are an
egotistical bunch, always looking
down their nose at anyone
who isn't up on obscure abbrevia-
tions. If you know a puzzle
person you'd like to impress,
check with Custom Crosswords,
Route 2, Box 128-AA, Sturgeon
Lake, Minnesota 55783. For $160
0, the owner, Carol Bly,
will create a custom crostic or a
970- or 330-square puzzle t
lored to a specific person, after
you've supplied all the informa-
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the clues. So what's a three-letter
word for a guy who smokes a
pipe, drinks Pepsi and sleeps
in a round bed?

ЕТ

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h Conte

PET NUKE
Ever since the Pet Rock surfaced,
PLAYBOY has been second only
to the U. S. Patent Office in hav-
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nonsensical objects. Nowan l-
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hydrogen bomb has landed
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241

PLAYBOY

242

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DOROTHY STRATTEN
(continued from page 238)

God, why did this happen? Why dear,
sweet Dorothy? We held each other for
2 moment. I cried for the first time that
long night."

a Royal Cana-
an pulled his car
in Coquitlam. She

kitchen window
and watched him getting out. John, she
thought as she went to her front door:
what's he done? Maybe his license has
expired. Something to do with the car
The Mountie knocked on the
Nellie opened it. He stepped inside and
removed his hat. “Your daughter's been
shot, ma'am,” he said.

Nellie didn't know what to do. She
went back into the kitchen and started
washing dishes. The Mountie didn't
know what to do, either. He followed
her into the kitchen and started drying
them.

"You mean she's dead," Nellie said
alter a while.

“Yes, she's dead.”

He didn't Paul's
Nellie thought, I hope they put Paul

ay lor the rest of his lile. And then
and later, she thought: She was so you

Dorothy would have celebrated 1
21st birthday on February 28, 1981. She
died exactly two years and one day after
her arrival in L.A.

The staff at Playboy's West Coast
Photo Studio. began arriving well before
working hours what Friday morning.
Most had been awakened early by phone
calls informing them of Dorothy Strat-
ten’s death. Susan Hall, Marilyn Gra
bowski's assistant, sat by the. phone in
the stilldarkened reception area. Mari-
lyn called her into her office, Susan had
never seen her look so distraught.

“Someone e Louise back
to Vancouver, Marilyn told her. “I
want vou to do it."

Louise, little Louise, Susan thought.
Shed forgotten about Louise. “AN
right,” she said. “Tell me what needs
to be done.”

She was told that a limousine would
ting at the Bogdanovich home,
where Louise had been staying. The
plane reservations had already been
made. She was to leave at once

As Susan started out the door,
phone rang. It was Lisa Lovi

Early Friday morning
dian Mounted Police:
into Nellie's drivew:
him through

door.

mention suicide,

has то

the

“Louise doesnt know what's
pened,” Lisa said. “Her family requests
that we let them tell her when she gets
to Vancouver."
“OK.” Susan said, staggered. “Shit.”
She looked for something to distract a

arold and found a copy of Kurt

hap-

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PLAYBOY

244

Vonnegut’s Welcome to the Monkey
House on a bookshelf. She also took а
notcbock and pens—they could draw,
play dots, ticktacktoe. Anything.

She reached Bogdanovich's house in
minutes The limousine was already
ther

The young man who took care of the
children met her at the door. “You
know she doesn’t know,” he said as he
ushered her through the house.

Louise was packing furiously. She
turned, saw Susan and recognized her.
She glared. “What are you doing here?
Where's Dorothy?”

"Well, what did they tell you?”

“That Dorothy had to go away and
I'm supposed to go back to Vancouver.”

“Oh, now I know, too. Well, I'm to
make sure you get back OK.

“Why didn't she call? Nothing's hap-
pened to her, has it?” Louise was angry.
‘She was supposed to call yesterday.

Well I dont know. She probably
didn’t have time. 1 don't know exactly
what's going on—just that I'm to bc
your escort home.

Louise studied Susan for a long mo-
ment, then resumed her packing.

“I flew down by myself. I don't need
escort, Louise announced. She stud
Susan suspiciously, “Is anything wrong

“No. Everything's OK. But we'd better
hurry or we'll miss our plane;
Susan would forever love Bruno, the

limousine driver, for his reassuring
calm. He didn't play the radio. He
didn't talk. His look through the rear-
view mirror lent her support as Lo
continued to pummel her with questions

“Are you sure Dorothy is safe?”

“Tm sure,

You know she went to see Paul
yesterday. І told her not to, but she
wanted to go. Th is crazy. F hate
him. I was afraid he'd kidnaped her or
something.

“No, she hasn't been kidnaped.”

“And you're sure she's OK.

"Yes. A lot of people love Dorothy.
She will always be OK.”

Louise thought about th
like her not to с; she said then. “I've
been so scared. Even Peter seemed
ed. This morning he looked sick
You know, Dorothy was supposed to
take me shopping.”

At the airport, Bruno took care of
the luggage and kept Louise close at
hand. So far, so good. They moved
through the ticket line, one agonizing
step at a time.

Susan noticed a woman studying Lou-
ise. Sensing trouble, she sent Bruno and
Louise to sit down while she waited for
the tickets.

The woman approached her. “That's
Dorothy Stratten's sister, isn't it?” she
asked.

Yes,” Susan said pl
hope she would dis

t. "It's not

in the
. "She doesn't

ARTY
Шал

"Hey, pardner, why don't you mosey on back to your

spread and throw on some сиу dud;

know what happened. Please don't say
anything."
"Em w

h Нойтап Travel," the wom-
thought 1 recognized her. I
saw them together when she flew in last
Saturday." She said she'd do what she
could to help.

She made some calls, then led Louise
and her escort to а VIP lounge from
which the television set, radio and all
newspapers had been removed. The
ged for Susan and Louise
The plane was cleared
nd they were seated а

woman arr

no one else si
The flight

ed not to

actually lie to Louise but
phrased her words so that later they'd
е а deeper m p. By the time
they landed, Louise seemed convinced

that Dorothy was OK. Susan told her
that she could call her any time. She
be

knew that Louise was about to
wrenched from the false sccurity t
had been created for her. Then she'd be
even confused and shocked, be-
cause earlier in the day, at Bogdano-
vich’s, she'd known.

They deplaned in Vancouver. All of
Louise's family was there and she was
delighted. She hugged hi brother.
took Susan's hand to thank her.
She looked steadily into Susan's eves,
so that Susan had to look directly into
hers. They were Dorothy's eyes, deep
and sincere. When Louise turned away,
Nellie showed her grief for just a mo-
ment. Susan would never forget that
look.

As Susan started. toward her return
flight, Louise ran after her. Hugged and
kissed her. Then she told Susan to take
good care of herself.

уш
Dorothy's death was front-page news
throughout the United States, in Canada
Colleen Camp, an actress
rked with Dorothy in They All
Laughed, saw her picture in an 1
newspaper in Brindisi,
port on the Adriatic. She was traveling
with director Frang Nhy,
that’s Dorothy," she said. Then she no-
ticed the word morta in the headline.

In Los Angeles, the first sketchy radio
ports Friday morning simply said that
a PLAYBOY model and her husband had
been found dead in their West L.A.
ome. By 11 o'clock the murder had
acquired a righteous motive. The media
were reporting erroneously that "police
said Paul Snider was despondent over his
wile’s decision to pose nude in PLAYBOY."
Walter Cronkite set the record straight
on the CBS Evening News:
4 young wo
as

ng
od
it fairy

Hollyw
Cronkite said, “R

tale,"

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PLAYBOY

246

tales don't always have happy endings.
Sometimes they turn ugly and violent,
This time, say police, the tragedy appar-
ently was written by a husband despond-
ent over the breakup ol his marriage."

Incredibly, newspaper columnist Liz
Smith used the occasion to attack Bog-
danovich:

"Some of those who witnessed Peter
Bogdanovich's ongoing love affair with
Dorothy Stratten are blaming the movie
director for not protecting the Playmate
of the Year from being killed. . . .

“Bogdanovich, everybody's favorite
megalomaniac, drew almost violent re-
action [rom onc bitter insider: ‘He knew
that her husband was threatening to kill
her, but he refused to back off. Person-
ally, I think the husband shot the wrong
person.’ "

The Chicago Tribune and others,
noting Dorothy's cAL-x-INA license plates,
found a connection with the much-traf-
ficked cliché “Life in the fast lane" and
condemned rrAvsov and Hollywood in-

А more discerning examination came
from scholar and columi Max Lemer,
a friend of Hefner's who had known
Dorothy and Paul. Lerner told their
story briefly in his column and then
concluded:

"One thinks of Dreiser's American
Tragedy, but there has been a shift.
The upward-mobile Paul killed not the
woman who stood in the way of his
carcer (as in Clyde's case) but the one
on whom his hopes for his own life had
been centered.

“This is part of the glowing new
America that has opened careers for
women like Dorothy and threatens their
men.”

On Saturday, the California public
administrator inventoried Dorothy's and
Paul’s possessions.

Paul Snider's father arrived in L.A. to
claim his son's body. He also tried
to claim the sTAR-80 Mercedes but had to
return to Vancouver without!

Burl Eldridge mformed Bob Hous-
ton that Nellie wanted Dorothy buried
in the United States. It was a country
she had learned to love, he said, and the
place where she had been the happiest.

Hefner sent Elizabeth Norris to Van-
couver with tickets to fly Dorothy's family
to L.A. for the funeral. Not only Nellie
and Burl, Louise and John would be at-
tending but also Simon Hoogstraten,
the natural father whom Dorothy had
wanted so much to impress. Hoogstraten
had first learned of his daughter's success
when he read Vancouver newspaper re-
ports of her death.

The family flew to Los Angeles to
attend the funeral at Westwood Me-
morial Cemetery. The site had been
chosen by Bogdanovich. It i coinci-
dentally, where. Marilyn Monroe's body
is also interred. "This was as close as
Dorothy would ever gct to her dream.

The funeral was held privately on
Friday, August 22. eight days after Doro-
thy's death. For limousines took
Dorothy's family, Hefner, Bogdanovich
and his two daughters, Elizabeth Norris,
Marilyn Grabowski, Mario Casilli, Bob
Houston, her lawyer Wayne Alexander
and agent David Wild nto the park.
Тһе gates were briefly locked for the
3:15 р.м. service.

At the funeral Nellie met Hefner for
the first time. She noticed that hands
were cold and could see that he was
still as shocked as she was. Mario didn't
know what he was going to say to
Louise: she resolved the problem by
hugging . The minister recited the
2314 Psalm and verses from the books
of John, Ephesians and Romans. Twice,
referring to the Biblical author of two
of those books, he had to use the name
Paul. Everyone winccd.

At her family's request, Dorothy's body
had been cremated. Peter had wanted
Dorothy buried, and to spare his feelings
the urn was placed within a full-sized
coffin for burial. After the service, Nellie
and Burl stood together, well away from
the gravesite. She couldn't. watch the
burial. At graveside, the others, each in
turn, threw a single rose onto the low-
ered coffin before it was covered with
earth. Tears were running down Louise's
and John's faces. Hefner put his arms

around both of them and held them
tight.
‘There was a wake afterward at Peter's

house, but Hefner was too emotionally
drained to attend. The others drank and

talked of Dorothy and watched her rush-
es from They All Laughed in the screen-
ing room downstairs. Nellie couldn't
watch the film. She and Peter stayed up-
stairs and talked, and cried a little more.
‘The next day the family had lunch at
the Playboy Mansion. They toured the
grounds. Nellie stood apart from the
others in the Aviary. Sh i
her eyes, but she was smiling. Elizabeth
Norris went to her. "I'm so pleased to
see the place where Dorothy was so
happy,” Nellie said. “This is where
Dorothy felt safe and really loved." The
family fiew back to Vancouver.

Some Jehovah's Witnesses went to scc
Nellie the week after she returned to
Canada. They had heard about her
daughter's death, they told her. Nellie
said she believed Dorothy was in heaven
and they said no, she was still in the
ground. "People aren't resurrected until
the Day of Judgment,” they insisted.

“But what makes you so sure of that?”
Nellie asked.

“Tt says so in the Bible,” they ex-
plained. Nellie went and got her
“Ah,” they said, “that's an old-fasl
Bible" They read to her from their
up-to-date Bible, quoting a verse here
and a verse there, to prove that Dorothy
would rem: where she was buried
until the end of time.

Nellie listened amazed. When they fin-
ished she said, "Here, I can do that, too."
She found the verse that says, Judas went
and hanged himself, and then she found
the verse where Jesus says, “Go, and do
thou likewise.” “You see,” she said, “Jesus
wants us to go and hang ourselves.” The
Jehovah's Witnesses looked at her very
strangely. Then they gathered their
materials and went away.

Later, Nellie would fall into fitful
sleep, only to awaken in the middle of
the night, crying. Dorothy is dead, she
would tell herself in the dark, Dorothy
is dead.

She trusted. Paul, Nellie thought, and
he betrayed her. You want to save your
children from so many things, but you
can't. God, who knows everything, must
know why she was killed. There must
be a reason.

If she had only played the actress with
him that afternoon, Nellie thought. Pre-
tended. But she couldn't. She was too
honest.

Nothing seemed to matter anymore.
Nellie listened to other people talk and
none of it mattered. Crying: "It should
have been me. I would have been glad

if it had been me. Dorothy was so young,
so young."
Back in California, Hefner was re

membering Dorothy. He was certain the
last two years of her life had been the
happiest she had ever known. She had
been growing at an incredible rate, not
only professionally but as a person. The
first decisions she ever had a chance to

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PLAYBOY

248

make for herself were those she made
in pursuit of her career and her future
after coming to L.A. She was just be-
ginning to be a complete human being,
escaping from the pain of near poverty
and acquiring the ability to take care
of herself and her family. Unfortunately,
the sickness that was Paul Snider fol-
lowed her. He used her, without con-
cern or compassion for what was best for
Dorothy. When he couldn't use her any-
morc, he killed her.

For a long time Hefner had main-
tained that society's traditional values,
secular and religious, were designed to
keep women in a state of subjugation.
Now, finally, women were being lib-
erated—economically, socially and sexu-
Шу. They were discovering alternatives,
coming into their own. That was the
issue that had proved too much for Paul
Snider. He couldn't stand to see Doro-
thy become an independent human be-
ing, with a mind of her own, а body of
her own. a life of her own.

Bogdanovich threw himself into post-
production work on They All Laughed.
Editing the film surrounded him with
ages and memories of Dorothy. He
chose an epitaph from A Farewell to
Arms for the red-granite stone that was
set on Dorothy's grave:

DOKOTHY STRATTEN
FEBRUARY 28, 1960-AUGUST 14, 1080.
IF PEOPLE BRING SO MUCH COURAGE
TO THIS WORLD THE WORLD HAS TO
KILL THEM TO BREAK THEM, SO OF
COURSE IT KILLS THEM. IT KILLS THE
VERY GOOD AND THE VERY GENTLE AND

THE VERY BRAVE IMPARTIALLY. IF YOU
ARE NONE OF THESE YOU CAN BE SURE
THAT IT WILL KILL YOU Too BUT
THERE WILL ВЕ NO SPECIAL HURRY.

WE LOVE YOU, D-

"The media continued to show inter-
ємї in the story of Dorothy Stratten's
life and death. Bogdanovich was pressed
for interviews. He decided not to give
any, at least until They All Laughed was
finished and released. He meant the
ture to be his own personal tribute to
Dorothy. In licu of interviews, he issued
the following statement several wecks
after her death:

“Dorothy Stratten was as gifted and
intelligent an actress as she was beauti-
il, and she was very beautiful indeed—
every way imaginable—most particu
larly in her heart. She and 1 fell in love
during our picture, and had planned
to be married as soon as her divorce was
final. The loss to her mother and father,
her sister and brother, to my children,
to her friends and to me is larger than
we can calculate. But there is no life
Dorothy's touched that has not been
changed for the better through knowing
her, however briefly. Dorothy looked at
the world with love, and believed that

all people were good down deep. She

was mistaken, but it is among the
most generous and noble errors we can
make—Peter Bogdanovich."

Playboy people helped Dorothy's
family however they could during the
difficult weeks following the funeral.
Elizabeth Norris sent John Hoogstraten
the Houston Astros shirt and cap given

"And remember that the way to a man's heart
hangs just below his stomach."

Dorothy when she threw out the first
ball at the Astrodome, and pictures of
Dorothy wearing them. John replied:

Dear Elizabeth: Thank you very
much for the baseball shirt and the
pictures. The shirt- fits me perfect.
We couldn't find the hat though,
unless Louise doesn’t want to give
it tome.

I am up in Dawson Creek now.
Today was the first day in my
course. I haven't scen too much of
the town yet, but from the campus
the hills are a golden prairie color
with patches of green trees. It’s
really beautiful country. It’s getting
ready for winter now. Last night we
had a light snow.

At home things are still the same.
Mom is having а hard time accept-
ing what happened, and now me
going away to school. She was very
happy that I got the chance though.

I was thinking of sending Hugh
Hefner a letter thanking him for all
that he’s done for us. I was wonder-
ing if I might send it to you, Eliza-
beth, and you could forward it. I
can imagine all the mail he must
get. My letter could sit around for

з getting late. I'm saying
hi from everyone at home as well
as myself. We all love you. Take
care. Love, John.

Nellie was shocked to discover that
Paul Snider's family had filed а daim
against the assets of Dorothy's estate.
It seemed incredible to her that the
Sniders intended to benefit financially
from the murder of her daughter by
one of their own. She called Hefner in
panic. If Dorothy died first, then the
Sniders might claim the entire estate—
with Dorothy's assets passing to Paul
on her death and to his next of kin
when he killed himself an hour Jater.
In all of this, there must be some jus-
tice,” Nellie cried. Hefner agreed and
promptly hired lawyers to represent
Dorothy's family in the fight.

Smelling a profit in the story, a corre-
spondent for The Globe, a sleazy Canadian
tabloid, wrote a piece for the October
14 issue titled “SLAIN PLAYMATE
LINKED TO CELEBRITY CALLGIRL
RACKET,” with the subtitle “Was She
Murdered to Keep Her Quiet?" It was a
double-murder fantasy packaged in with
a fictional callgirl story added for extra
reader interest.

1980

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that's the color of a delicious
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color is to its taste what twilight
is to night. A golden promise of
a great experience.

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W A. Taylor, 825 S. Bayshore Drive,
Miami, Florida 33131.

PLAYBOY

But more legitimate entreprencurs
were also showing interest in exploiting
the Stratten story.

Other publications were planning ar-
tides about Dorothy, including New
York's Village Voice, California's. New
West and several U.S. and Canadian
newspapers. Hefner met with Teresa
Carpenter, who was researching a cover
story for the Voice. He was anxious to
put to rest the notion Dorothy died
because Рі лувоу or Hollywood exploit-
ed her. “That appeals to а popular
prejudice of our time," Hefner said,
"but it simply isn't so. PLAYBOY and
Hollywood were an escape for Dorothy—
from poverty and from the subjugation
she suffered in a relationship with a very
sick guy. When Snider saw his meal
icket and his connection to power slip-
ping away, he killed her."

If Hefner had hoped for objective re-
portage from Teresa Carpenter and The
Village Voice, he was due for a disap-
pointment. Death of a Playmate proved
to be a viciously anti-PLAv ov, anti-male
diatribe in which Carpenter linked Sni-
der, Bogdanovich and Hefner as three
of a kind. Since Carpenter had no evi
dence to support such an assertion re-
garding Hefner, she simply labricated
facts (“His chief preoccupation now-
adays is managing the Playmates”) and
invented imaginary motivations ("Yet
with all of those beautiful women at his
disposal, he has not onc Marion Davies
to call his own. Dorothy exposed that
yearning, that ego weakness . . ."). On
the other hand, Carpenter perceived
Snider to be “one ol PLAYBOY'S most
honest apostles. He acted out dark fan-
tasies never intended to be realized. In-
stead of fondling himself in private,
stead of wreaking abstract violence
pon а centerfold, he ravaged a
Playmate in the flesh.” Snider's sin,
Carpenter concluded, “his unforgivable
all-time."

sin, was being

Nellie’s response to the Carpenter
comparisons was contempt. “That's not
true,” she said. “Hefner helped Dorothy
and the family.” She found it beyond be-
lief that people credited Dorothy's suc-
cess to others but blamed Dorothy for
her own murder. Nellie saw the accusa-
tion in people’s eyes, the accusation that
her daughter was dead because she'd
appeared in PLAYBOY, because she was
a bad girl It was yet another cruelty
added to the pain of her daughter's
death. "People here say that it was too
much for her," Nellie said. "Well, she
was doing fine. It was too much for
Paul.”

Teresa Carpenter's

Death of a

250 Playmate was illustrated with several

photographs, including a semi-nude of
Dorothy shot when she was under the
age of consent (19 in Vancouver). The
article was syndicated in newspapers
throughout America and abroad. Motion-
picture rights went to director Bob Fosse
for a price reportedly in excess of
$125,000. Dorothy's family received no
part of those revenues. So much for the
exploitation of Dorothy Stratten.

Dorothys exceptional beauty, her
rapid rise to fame and her premature,
violent death are the stuff that cult
figures are made from. Early evidence
suggests that a Dorothy Stratten cult
may be emerging. In feature stories
following her murder, newspapers re-
ferred to Dorothy as a “goddess for the
Eighties” and there were frequent com-
parisons to the tragic life and death of
blonde superstar Marilyn Monroe. Back
issues of PLAYBOY with photographs of
Dorothy were reportedly much in de-
mand in used-book stores. Galaxina pre-
miered in Kansas City on the day
Dorothy died. In the weeks that fol-
lowed, the film was advertised across the
country as “Introdu
Straten, pravsov's Playmate of
Year.” It did unexpectedly strong busi
ness at the box office. One young fan,
the son of Mansion secretary Cis Rundle,
explained, “The movie was nothing spe-
cial, but Dorothy was a queen.” The TV
docu-drama and Bob Fosse film were
both referred to in the Hollywood trade
papers as “hot properties.”

In a sincere tribute, the rock group
Prism recorded a single for Capitol
Records called Cover Girl and included
it in a greatesthits LP, All the Best from
Prism, dedicated “To Dorothy":

Five years in eighteen months
She got everything all at once
She moved out, that's when he
moved in
Cover girl, it's such a damn waste
You were more than just a pretty
face
1 never thought I'd never see you
again,
1 saw her picture on the six o'clock
news
Just read about the cover girl blues
Goodbye my cover girl.
©1980 CAPITOL RECORDS—
EMI OF CANADA LIMITED

From the outset, Hefner had been
concerned with not exploiting the trag-
edy. He ordered a reprinting of the
cova: of the 1981 Playmate Calendar,
replacing Dorothy's picture with that of
another Playmate, at a cost of $180,000
and a delay in the onsale date of sev-
eral weeks. He similarly scrapped a
Christmas subscription ad, a Christmas
card and several other promotional
pieces that featured pictures of the 1980
Playmate of the Year.

Dorothy's final, favorite pictorial on

the famous blondes of Hollywood was
pulled from a holiday issue. It had
seemed too soon after her death and the
pain of her passing was still acute for
too many at PLAYBOY. The pictorial
was rescheduled for the March issue with
1s to accompany it with an editorial
tribute. But the passage of time didn't
dim her memory, or the hurt of it, and
the pictorial was once again postponed.
Instead, Hefner commissioned an in-
depth biography for the May 1981 issue,
so that PLAYHOY readers would know and
remember Dorothy as she was. It was his
way of saying, We love you, D.R.

Some time after the first black weeks
of loss and bitterness, Nellie remem-
bered a play Dorothy had talked about
on опе of her visits to Vancouver. Nellie
mentioned the play to Peter and he sent
her a copy. It was Our Town by Thorn-
ton Wilder. Dorothy had learned the
part of Emily to read at casting calls.
Emily grows up in Grovers Corners,
marries, dies young in childbirth. Doro-
thy had loved the role. She'd told Nellie
about it and recited her lines.

In the cemetery where she is buried,
Emily greets the others of Grover's Cor-
ners who have died. She isn’t ready to
give up life and she asks the stage men-
ager who narrates the play to let her go
back for a little while. The dead warn
her against returning to life. She won't
like it, they tell her. It isn't wise. Emily
goes anyway, back to her 12th birthday
and reunites with her mother and father,
and tries with mounting urgency simply
to make everyone see everyone, to make
everyone stop and look. But, busy with
living, they don't, and Emily calls to the
stage manager:

“I can't. I can't go on. It goes so
fast. We don't have time to look at
one another. .. . Take me back—
up the hill—to my grave. But first:
Wait! One more look."

Nellie read the lines she heard for the
first time from her daughter

*Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-
by, Grover's Corners . . . Mama and
Papa. Good-by to clocks ticking . - -
and Mama's sunflowers. And food
and coffee. And new-ironed dress-
es and hot baths . . . and sleeping
and waking up. Oh, earth, you're
too wonderful for anybody to realize
you.”

Dorothy had then said to her, Nellie
remembered, “You know, Mum, if we
knew that we were going to die, let's say
tomorrow, God bless us, we'd absorb
everything we could in the few hours we
had left. Everything! We wouldn't waste
time, 2

“If only that kind of energy could be harnessed.”

251

PLAYBOY

252

KISS OF THE HOPS

on humankind. An Assyrian tablet of
2000 в.с. lists it among thc provisions
taken aboard Noah's ark. During the
Middle Ages, beer became the basis for а

су of festivals. “Give ales," the block
rties of their day, were lund raisers for
worthy causes: s were called “grave

ales" and “bride ales" obviously were
wedding celebrations. Queen Elizabeth.
who never needed a bride ale. was pos
tively finicky about her beer—sending
couriers ahead to grade the local fer-

(continued from page 145)

ments when she traveled.

English colonists brought beer and
brewing techniques to thé New World.
Young John Alden made the Mayllower's
senger list only because of his skill at
elmaking. A poignant entry in the
ship's log reveals why the vessel stopped
short of its planned destination, to land
in Massachusetts, "We could not now
take time for further search.” it notes.
especially our

a St. Pauli G
beers available to the Ате

ion Amer

Canada: Mo'son's is the nun
light. it has more body and
sweetness in the fii
а decent ale, which is

is sturdier, hoppier, smoothe
1 bitter finish that connoisseurs
Denmark: Ca
Carlsberg Elephant. M.
percent alcohol content. Giraf M
formerly made in Denmark, is
England: England is ale country
ated brews, made with top-Termen
re characte
nd bitrerswe
France: Kronenbourg. Irom
and a pleasing grainy taste.
Germany: The country
though. today, most German becrs
from Br

Girl is a favor
famed Würzburger
tanks and bottled States
bottled here by Mille
Dorununder Union

ha zestiness that most p
lightish and balanced. It
boom and Skol.

mash for lightness: however, КЁ
bee

Mexico: Dos Equis

available only for the Christm
Philippine Miguel |

ews a

You

'so find Tsing

d and Brahma trom Br

fairly heavy, bitterish, very 1
ng yeasts. Bass and М
tic English ales. Watneys Stingo Dark Ale i
t. Ales shouldn't be served
Alsace.

is noted for its roundish, mellow
re ti ting towa
єп, the leader, is a smooth Pisner type. St. Pauli Girl and
Grenzquell are smooth, light, mouth-fi ling and nicely hopped. The St. Paul
ite oncimpus. St. Pau i dark is a particularly ple
Hofbriu, brewed in Germany, is shipped in larg
ide by Anheuser-Busch
Also worth tryin;

Holland: Heineken is our most popular import, by far. It’s light,
ple find refresh
ishes bitter but Cean.

Japan: kirin is the longtime Japanese leade
not flabby. It is dry. with cha
bitterness. Also worth tying: Asahi

other good, lightbodied Mexican beers, Bohemia being a shade Fulles
also a rich, black, luscious Noche Buena, made by the Dos Equis people,
season,

light, dry Pi
dark that is based on the tasty Bavarian darks.

ao from Ch
us from Poland. Guinness Stout from It
if you look around. Happy hi

PLAYBOY'S INTERNATIONAL
BEER SAMPLER

You don't have to hop down to Mexico for à
L—theyre here, part of the охе
D ките!
ake an armchair tour of the world's fine bee
Australia: Foster's is dark, medium-bodied, somewhat malty—akin to pre-
an beers. The tall, 2
mouthful. Also worth tying: Swan and Tooheys.

ber-two imported beer. Although p
Icohol than
ish. Labatt's and Moosehead also get a play. Molson makes
ighter than Eng isl
Czechoslovakia: Pilsner Urquell sets the style for today’s lighter beers, but it
and less carbonated th
mire,

sberg lager is mellow, well carbona
t Liquor is dar
t Liquor is a new Danish import. Tuborg,
ow produced dom

Dos Equis or to Germany for
vhelming choice of foreign
With such treasures to draw on
ting with the listings below:

-ounce Foster's can is more than a

ale and fairly
American beers. There's a hint of

les.

an Most—with a some-

ed and medium-bodied.
. rich, slightly sweet, with a nine

htly carbon-
4 & Mackeson

Drea

s cold as lagi
light lager with some substance

malty brews
rd the Pilsner style. Beck's,

ing beer. The
airtight
Lówenbráu is now made and
paten, Hofbrau Bavaria and

ictive,
mber, hoppy
ag: Oranje-

ng. Gro'sch
Also worth t

added to the
teristic
ne-

here. Rice

apporo. Asahi Draft ii

sixth-gallon bottle is an interesting new arrival.
ark, smooth, full in taste

nd body. Superior is quite

There's

type beer and а richer

х from Greece, Ringnes from
land, Mackeson's Stout
ating!

thers long to
remedy that situation. Accounts of the

first Thanksgiving feast suggest the wild
ird was sluiced down with Colonial
homebrew. And during our War of

Independence, General Washington—no
teetotaler he—lamented the scarcity of
beer for his troops

The word beer is derived

from the
Latin bibere, to drink. КУ a generic
term embracing all fermented beverages
brewed from malted grains. Over the
millennia, the mash has been made
from such diverse items as barley. corn,
wheat. rye, oats, millet, potatoes—
even pumpkins and tapioca. Almost any
starchy vegetable will work, but. barley
is the traditional grain.

Understandably, one finds differences
ngredients, formulations and
practices, depending on where the beer
is made and the objectives of the Brän-
meister. But it is those variations that
generate the diversity of 1l aroma
density and appearance in beer that
trigues the dedicated bull. Nevertheless,
most malt beverages cam be classified
under two broad headings. Lager 1
been the favorite of American beer
drinkers since the postbellum period.
The name comes from the German
lagern, to моге or mature. American
lagers tend to be light in body and hue,
dry, bright, well c ed and crisp.
Flavor is subdued, though the d ‘rks have
te. Effervescence often the
atural CO, given off during fermenta-

in raw

or,

Соп. captured—aánd restored. prior to
bottling. Lagers in the Pilsen style, “Pil-
are usually light, tangy and

c. Pilsner Urquell, the prototype, is
ighly regarded by aficionados, though
sophytes might deem it too bitter.
The other major grouping, ale, was
the choice in carly America—rellecting
ngland's dominance. Ales are quite aro-
ve more body and alcohol
than lagers. Stout, porter and bock beer
are made Irom deep-roasted malt: hence,
and rich, malty taste.
Malt liquor is a light. lagerlike brew
with a robust alcohol content. And for
something esoteric, wy chung. the Ti
bet ade [rom millet or grim—a
type of barley that grows at high alt
tudes, One small detail: You have to
vel to Tibet to get i
In the past, beer has been given the
Rodney Dangerfield treatment in t
country, dismissed as the aqua vitae ог
college kids and. proletarians. But. pun-
dits can feel the winds of change. Be
is being served at such notable culinary
establishments as Chicago's Le Perroquet,
k Francisco's Washington Square Bar
& Grill and New York's Le Vertgalant
па The Four Seasons. Gourmet societies
© sponsoring beer tastings. along with
tastings, lor their discriminating
membership. Even more telling: Con-
sumption of costlier beers,

premium

VANTAGE
ULTRA LIGHTS

ULTRA TASTE!
ONLY ONE ULTRA LOW TAR HAS IT.

жам,

ڪڪ

==
==

VTL

ААС
UIRA Nes

Ua Vow Tor бте
Warnini

The Surgeon General Has Determi
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

PLAYBOY

254

nduding Budweiser. Miller High Lif
Pabst Blue Ribbon, Coors, Schlitz.
Suoh’s, Olympia and Heilen

Style Lager. has been growing

And we've been quaffing the lofty supe
premiums such as Michelob, Andeker,
nger and Prior Preferred Double
rk with similar enthusiasm. Together,
the two top grades account lor better
n 60 percent of all the beer drunk
county.

Another augu

ry of the gentrification

ight beers has
s timing, but

more ‚ perhaps

lights rently going through the
graph. Starting from zilch in 1975, they
took off; today, one of every nine beers

imbibed in the U. S. is light beer.
What's
what is light beer? Simply рш. its а
lager type with a lower caloric content—
roughly two thirds the amount of regular
beer. As with all brewing processes,
there's quite a bit of secrecy involved.
Dr. Joseph Owades, director of The Cen-
ter for Brewing Studies and developer of
the aforementioned — Gablinger's lor
Rheingold, suggests that four methods
are in common use. A natural єпгуп
derived from micro-organisms, is added
by some breweries to break down grain
starches into simple su ferment
to alcohol. Alternatively, the brewing
process may be lengthened, or si
s that are. completely fermen
be added to the brew. The
ble process is simply to dilute a
'egular beer, The object is to reduce the
proportion of nonfermentable starches,
which ordinarily make up about one
third of the tor Alcohol, which con-

tributes more than half the calories con
sumed with regular beer, is often slightly
reduced as well. Stimulated by the heady
success of Miller Lite, Anheuser Busch
Natural Light and Michelob Light, some
brewers have attempted a “light light,
with only 75 calories—half that of reg:
beer. As a contast, standard beer
run about 150 calories per 12o0unces.
Almost all light beers list calorie and
carbohydrate content on the package.

At the other end of the taste spectrum
from the lights are the р s of
beerdom, the imports. They're on the
generous side in both body and flavor:
richer, softer and zestier than domestic
brews—but also more filling. Perhaps
more tha nds from many foreign
es are available to the adventur-
rophile, At one time,
in fancy delis or spe-

he had to search
cialty shops for a decent choice of
ports, but these days they're stacked in
the aisles and crowding the cooler in

most supermarkets. Although still small
in total, sales of imports have been іп.
creasing at a furious rate, despite the
fact that many sell for upwards of four

dollars a six-pack. There are exception
С re much cheaper near our
northern border, Mexican beers are low-

er in the Southwest—if you're fortunate
enough to live close to either boundary
r insights into the range ol import
brands in the United States, see
“Playboy's International Beer Sampler”
on page 259.

o matter what's being poured—pre-
miums, superprems, lights, imports—a
lot of us are enjoying beer: but we might
enjoy it more if we paid attention to
handling and serving. While there
something to be said for chugging a can
or two of stinging-cold beer after some
tough tennis or a five-mile lope, that's
simply assuaging a thirst. It's no way to
savor the singular pleasures properly
brewed bee mplied, tempera-

“Mona always has that enigmatic smile whenever
she’s wearing her ben-wa balls!”

ture is a factor, We like beer chilled in
this country, but it shouldn't go lower
the pale
Re

Fahrenheit foi
her for the dar!
ме beer on the bottom shelf a
the temperature will be about right.
Bı nd European beers can turn
doudy and precipitate their solids when
overiced. For that reason, foreign brew-
ers often modify their export products to
accommodate American drinking habits.

Glasses for beer come in a v
shapes and sizes. The tapering р
and the hollow-stemmed goblet
tractive and graceful, though the
tter may be tricky to wash. Some beer
sist on a Seidel, or on a Stein

10 degree

ish

find its heft ple:
ntity it holds. Fi
covered stein, "to keep the flavor in
the flies out.” But no matter what
of container you choose, make sure it's
n. Wash glasses with de-

ing and appreciate the
ску types demand
nd

vell. Don't dry with
rack, so that air circulates in the glass
will do the job perfectly. The
pour is critical in bringing out the de-
lightful properties of beer. There are
many cherished methods, but we know
this one works. First, rinse the glass with
cold water, to remove stray odors and
help the head form, Tilt the g а
slide beer down the side until about one
third full; then straighten the glass and
splash beer into the center. This should
a generous head, up to an

dishw:

that creams up over the top of the glas
it takes a knowing hand. Beer should be
gulped, not sipped. since the essentially
bitter fi ly on the
iste buds at the base of the tongu
the throat, When the glass is drained, you
should see a distinct ring of foam down
allow

the side of the glass for every sw
Beer is perishable. If a
d you've alwa
appointing, it may be over the hill. Since
freshness is a virtue, don't lay beer dow:
as you would wine. Most brands have а
maximum shelf life of six months, so i
you come across a forgotten bottle or two
t the bottom of a єй give it the deep
six. Shop for beer in an outlet that does
à brisk business the brew. Dusty bot-
ues are to be shunned. Handling and
exposure to light or heat also affect qual
ity. Like wine, beer keeps better in а
«ool, dark place; but unlike wine, it
should stand upright so the smallest pos-
ble surface is exposed to the
mured in the bottle. Av sh;
A German proverb says there's no h
beer, but some kinds
others. So hop to it and explore the bet-
ter kinds indicated in this article with a
few friends who share your tastes Cheers!

re better th

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KENTUCKY STRAIGHT
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PLAYBOY PUZZLE

PLAYBOY COLLAGE EXAM

By Nicole Gregory

ver the years, PLAYBOY has become embedded in the landscape of
American culture. But in the landscape of this puzzle page, things
may have gone too far. The words play and boy seem to be every-

where. In fact, if you look carefully, you'll find them in 30 of the names
of the people, objects and events pictured below. See what we mean?

Answers on page 258

JOHN DELOREAN

was a cult car that sold nearly half a
million units a year in the United States.
But 1 thought that the Beetle was one
of the biggest pieces of junk of all time
standpoints. Its handling

PLAYBOY

king almost nonexistent: and the
buffeting and noise level inside the car
were enough to make you sick. On the
other hand, it was fabricated by real
craftsmen. "They turned out a quality
product in spite of a mediocre design.

13.

rica does seem to be having
à quarrel s romance with the auto-
mobile. What do you sce as the problem:

(continued from page 167)

DE LOREAN: There hasn't been a lessening
in the romance, it's just that the object of
the romance right now is a little less
attractive, For many, many years, Ameri-
rers had no competi-
L "t worry about the
mue. Phy cue only about опе
another. It was all, "G.M. is coming out
with a new model. We'd better bring out.
one just like it.”

1 think the tragedy of the auto industry
is that it was all located in one place. It
would have been mudi beter if G.M.
had been in Detroit, Ford in Los Angeles
and maybe Chrysler in Houston, or some-
thing like th

But the romance will flourish again. In

. Ploying card

. Ploying the violin

. Boy Scout

- Dutch Boy points

. Playpen

. Playmates

- Boy Wonder

. Boyfriend

. The Blue Boy, pointing by Thomos
Goinsborough

. Foreploy

- Ploymote, Morilyn Monroe
. Ploy-Doh

. Bellboy

. Ploytex Living girdle

‚ The Beach Boys

Answers to puzzle on poge 257.

16. The Boys of Summer, book

17. Record player

18. “Ploy it, Sam,” scene from
Cosablanca

19. "Iso boy!”

20. Chef Boy-Ar-Dee con

21. Cowboy

22. A ployboy, Hugh Hefner

23. Ployer's cigorettes

24. Pageboy haircut

25. World Wor One doughboy

26. Ploywright

27. A ploy

28. Ploying the ponies

29. Plow Boy tobocco

30. Poor-boy sandwich

few years, the Japanese have
ling cars that are much more
responsive to the demands of the Ameri-
can public. American manufacturers have
finally recognized that and aren't argu-
ing about it anymore. And, of course,
Americans are capable of building any-
thing y level they want.

I think we're going to sce a creative
age in the auto industry unlike anything
experienced since the Twenties. Progress
in fuel efficiency alone will be incredible.
1 predict [uel economy will double in
the next ten years.

PLAYBOY: Won't there be some perm;
nent changes in our relationship with
the automobile?

DE LOREAN: The long vacation trip will
probably disappear. I think it will be
hurt by the reduced speed limit. To be
honest, 1 think that 55 mph is maybe five
miles per hour below where it ought to
be. Now that cars are becoming more
fuel efficient, it may be time for the
Federal Government to look at raising
the speed limit, even if only on the inter-
state system.

15.

DE LOREAN: First, it's essentially made of
components that represent the high state
of automotive art. The PRV [Peugcot,
Renault, Volvo] engine, with its twin
overhead camshafts, is the lightest,
strongest power plant in the world.
It’s a very elegant piece of machinery,
beautifully designed. And it has very
solid reliability. It's been used in Volvos,
Peugeots and Renaults for years. Also,
the ca nique in that it’s designed to
he light in weight, We use the
lightweight plastic materials, for exam-
ple, that are used on fighter planes. In
addition, we've designed the car to be
totally noncorrosive. Most
0.8. are scrapped not bec
worn our but because they

steel. We're going to guarantee it for 95
years.

Also, the tires we're using are much
rge and much too expensive by
ican-car standards, But, with nor-
mal driving, they could easily last 100,000.
miles. We're not looking at their dura-
however. We ст them for

ту car ever
tion of characteristics will
permit the car to have a very high re-
tained resale value and be an outstanding
value to the consumer.

16.

about

PLAYBOY: What the “Monday-
morning syndrome"? Should we buy a
De Lorean that’s been assembled on the
day after the weekend?

Gentleman's
Walking Stick.

Gentlemen of the old
South often carried a
hollowed walking stick that
hid the family jewels or
important papers. Our
ebony-colored metal walking
stick holds five glass vials to
tote vour favorite beverages.
Polished brass handle is inset
with Southern Comfort

steamboat medallion. 30553.

$42.75

Plantation Hat.

4 distinctive hat loaded
with personal style and flair.
Our bold Plantation Hat is
tailored from 18 ounces of
100% cotton duck. The 3-1/2
inch brim has a wire insert
for personalized shaping and
a I inch wide band of Latigo
leather circles the crown. This
authentic, classic look makes
a bold, personal statement
today. Color: Cream. Sizes
5 (6-7/8 to 7), M (7-1/8 to

7-1/4), L (7-3/8 to 7-1/2), XL
(7-5/8 to 7-3/4). 30557.
$18.50

Timeless gifts of the
classic South.

Riverboat Gambler's Kit.

Steamboat travel in the
1800s was a paradise for the
“gentlemanly gambler” Many
carried their own kits like the
elegant one we've recreated
for you.

The kit is made of solid
alder wood with green velvet
lining. Contains 200 poker
chips (actually silver-colored
and gold-colored metal coins
embossed with Southern
Comfort® steamboat); two
decks of poker-size playing
cards, custom-made for the
Paddle Wheel Shop; and a
3/4" pair of hand-filled inlaid
dice. An 8-раре folder weaves
tales of the Riverboat Gambler
and the rules of poker.
30551. $80.00

Comfort" Mirror.

Its big and beautiful;
full-color illustration of an
authentic Riverboat on
smoked glass with gold
filigree borders. The deep set
frame is solid wood. Picture it
behind your bar. 30” x 36".
30503. $39.95

Brass Belt Buckle.
The scene “ А Home

Currier & Ives. It is struck on
solid brass with an antique
bronze finish. Available only
from the Paddle Wheel Shop,
this distinctive buckle is sure
lo be appreciated by the
casual or serious collector.
Size: 3-1/2" x 2-1/4". 30511.
$8.00

Order Blank є | Item Unit Price Total
Mail to: Gentleman's Walking Stick — (9 $42.75 еа |$
THE ‘SHOP Riverboat Gambler's Kit @ $80.00 ea. | $
] Plantation Hat
aod (SM L M) Q$1850ca |$
an QIRD
LL ge aS Comfort^ Mirror © $3995 ea. | $
р 0. Box 12429 Brass Belt Buckle (Q$800ea |$
St. Louis, MO 63132 Enclose check or money order for. | $ Е
(Make payable to The Old Paddle Wheel Shop)
[Г] Please send free catalog.
Charge it: С VISA Г] Master Charge Exp. Date — Interbank #
255 eieae (ol Јанта D
(Print all digits)
(Master Charge Only)
Signature
Name (Print) — ы
Address — =.
шу — State Zip

Ofer good only in continental limits of US, Void in макъ where prohibited. Alluw up to В weeks for delivery
Offer expires December 31. 1981. Southern Comfort Corporation, 80-100 Proof Liqueur. St. Louis. MO 63132
"Comfort" and “Southern Comfort” are registered trademarks of Southern Comfort Carp Printed in USA

pe UT

“He fought for what he believed in, Lord, tryin’
to protect what was his'n. But you know ol’ Granny—she
don't take no for an answer!"

259

PLAYBOY

DE LOREAN: Well, that reputation is de-
served. People do have trouble getting
to work on Monday if they've had more
than a normal amount of fun over the
weekend. But there are ways to work
around that.

As far as assembly lines go, there's
nobody who knows more about the job
than the worker, and in America, we
haven't let him be part of the equation.
The Japanese have. As soon as we wake
up to that in this country, Monday
morning problems will disappear.

Our whole assembly line is designed
differently. For example, in most auto-
mobile companies, the chassis compo-
nents are assembled from underneath—
and I will tell you that it's
stoop labor at its absolute worst. I
worked in а pit one summer during a
college break. By the time I got out at
the end of the day, it took me two hours

to stand up.

So we don't have any pits in our
plant. At De Lorean, everything is de-
signed to be done above the floor, in
such a way that the workers’ comfort
and convenience are protected. We allow
the work force to ide various tasks
in the way they think they can be accom-
plished the most logically. We're trying
to let the worker make a contribu
of both his intelligence and the appl
tion of his own individual characteristics
to the job.

Obviously, in the end, somebody's go-
ing to put it together, but wc try to do it
so that it’s not only pleasant but also а
job in which each person can take pride.

17.
PLAYBOY: What are your predictions of
your success?

DE LOREAN: It's an experiment. I honest-

“The rent is way overdue, there are doctor and.
dental bills owing, the payments for the car and.
furniture are late, plus I'm horny as hell.”

ly didn't think things would go as well
as they have. Most of the world never
thought we had a chance. They're all
flabbergasted to see how far we've come-
We've built a dealer organization and
the world's most modern auto plant—
for its size. We have a product that
does all the things it's supposed to do.
1 hope, if we are successful, it will serve
as a stimulus for others to do the same
thing. If we can do well in a basic
industry like automobiles, then other
managers and smaller companies can
prove wrong those people who always
say it's impossible to go into basic indus-
с computers or steel or whatever.
the key to the industrial
rebirth of America. We've got to get the
momentum back. And smaller outfits can
do it—as opposed to the gigantic, lethar-
i izations that just can't be as
ponsive to the real conditions of the
market place.

18.

PLAYBOY: What are the De Lorean Motor
future plans?

We're adding a sedan ver-
n of the car we're building right now.
1 think we need to round out our line.
And we're looking at other opportuni-
ties. J think that as the price of oil con-
tinues to escalate, mass transit is going
to become more important in this coi
ny. So we're looking at the possibility
of building a bus.

My long-term dream would be to
build the next Model T—if there is
going to be such a thing. I can't visualize
exactly what it would be, though I do
have a few ideas. I really would like
1o provide a new kind of basic trans-
portation to the world. It's got to be
something unique, though, something
different from any car that's being built
in the world today.

19.

rravsov: From what kind of person
would you buy a used car?

DE LOREAN: I don't buy used cars myself,
but if you're going to buy one, uy
to find somebody who has a genuine re-
spect for machinery. People like that
take such good care of cars that it might
even be better than new.

20.

PLAYBOY: Have you ever owned a lemon?
Yeah. I've owned quite a
few. I usually sell them or give Шепа
away. I bought the first XJ-12 Jaguar that
me into Detroit. Today their reliability
infinitely better. Back then it was un-
ably bad. I tok the car out five

id ne anaged to get it home.
The last time, I took a back to my
house and called the dealer. ] told him
where the car was, that he could go get
it and give me a credit. I just refused to
accept it and paid nothing.

Box
Less than E.
0.01 mg tar Ё iun lowest Tor OOs ——

Also available:
Soft Pack 85s
and 100s

Regular or Menthol

BOX: Less than 0.01 mg. "tar", 0.005 mg. nicotine,

BOX 100's: 0.1 mg. “tar”, 0.01 mg. nicotine,

SOFT РАСК 100's, FILTER, MENTHOL: 2 mg. "tar", 0.2 mg. nicotine,
av. per cigarette by FTC method; SOFT PACK FILTER, MENTHOL: Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
2 mg. "tar"..2 mg. nicotine, av, per cigarette, Th: jarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.
FIC Report 0ЕС.79.

PLAYBOY

252 `

all around the world.

Hennessy stands tall,

s t
کی‎

For special occasions
everywhere,

the drink is Hennessy.
‘The reason is simple:
consistent quality and = ‘ie
excellence. pee
Next special time

call for Hennessy,
and know

the rewards of the wor isn most civilized spirit.

HENNESSY COGNAC, 80 PROOF, IMPORTED BY SCHIEFFELIN & CO., N.Y.

WHAT'S HAPPENING, WHERE IT'5 HAPPENING AND WHO'S MAKING IT HAPPEN

HABITAT.
PITCHING TENTS

leepingin a pint-sized canvas pup tent may be fine for the Boy Scouts of America and Marines on bivouac, but when the rest of us

take to the great outdoors, we like to do so with a modicum of ease. First on our list of campsite creature comforts is a lightweight
waterproof and bugproof tent that collapses into a size that's easy to tote. And because of clever structural design, many tents don't
need stakes or guy lines to stay up—and can even be moved from one location to another without having to be collapsed. Of
course, the ne plus ultra of tentdom is the Optimum 350 (below), with room enough for your harem and their camels. Yeah!

| Left: Lawrence of
| Arabia, eat your
|

heart out! Moss Теп!
Works' Optimum
350, made of cotton
| duck with aircraft
- | aluminum frame-
work, stands 12 feet
high at center,
weighs only 85
pounds and provides
351 square feet of liv-
ing space. The price
is $1500 as shown—
К and for an additional
`2 $1300, you can have
| 2 an optional cotton
û liner that includes a
and

Below: The Aireflex, an arch-bow supported mountain tent for two,

ighs only six pounds and is almost as small as a breadbox when
stuffed into its own carrying sack. The tent’s 100 percent nylon and
the floor and fly closure have been urethane coated to ensure that the
interior stays dry in a downpour, by Sierra Designs, $280.

Above: The $450 Oval Il, a stable and roomy nylon fent
by a company called The North Face, weighs only 11 pounds and

can sleep three comfortably in its 48 square feet. And here's more good
news: Once set up, the Oval II can still be moved in a jiffy—such as
when the wind shifts at three A.M. and the fire starts smoking you out.

z
g
$
i
б,
=

283

FASHION
PUT IT IN REVERSE

ot long ago, the reversible coat hung in the same stuffy closet with the two-pants suit; i.e., it was strictly an item of function
rather than fashion that no one with any sense of style took seriously. Today, the reversible coat may still be a two-for-one, but
smart designers have brought the idea into the fashion mainstream by creating looks that are appealing to the eye as well as the.
pocketbook. The reversibles that we like best are ones that utilize different materials (leather to cotton, ciré to terrycloth, etc.)
for switches in mood. And while the idea is keyed mostly to jackets, many other manufacturers, including those who make warm-up
outfits, bathing suits and even socks, are about to slip into reverse gear, too. Its an easy way to double your fashion fun.—DAVID PLATT

Below, farleft: Now you see this navy nylon ciré jacket featuring aself-hood, snap-front closure and
two patch pockets and now you don't when it’s been reversed to its red nylon ciré side, $75, worn
over a striped combed-cotton crewneck, $55, and straight-legged khaki slacks, $45, all by
Cesarani. Below center: There's gold on one side of that thar cotton reversible jacket and olive on
the other, $135, plus a cotton knit short-sleeved shirt, $55, and cotton slacks, $60, all from Crash by
Marzotto. Below right: This easygoing yellow cotton poplin jacket reverses to a navy-blue leather
one with a snap-front closure, side«entry pockets and elasticized cuffs and waist, by Comstock,
$250. It's been combined with a short-sleeved three-button cotton knit pullover, by Bert Pulitzer,
$22.50; and a pair of cotton denim Western jeans with contrast-stitch trim, by Jordache, $40.

DAVID
PLATT’S
FASHION
TIPS

Remember Bermuda shorts in
the Fifties, when the look was
over-the-calf black hosiery? For-
tunately, we've come a long
way, guys, and shorts and socks
are now available in multiple
lengths and more interesting
colors. After you've determined
which is the most flattering style
for your legs (if your calves look
like Ichabod Crane's, for exam-
ple, try a pair of bulky knee
socks), think in terms of color-
ful combinations—and be ad-
venturesome. A pink knit shirt,
olive-drab shorts, yellow socks
and beige-linen shoes with red
soles all work surprisingly well
together—and won't turn. you
into one more preppie type at-
tempting to resurrect the Fifties.

To put а little zip in your
summer-suit and sports-coat
wardrobe, try a white-linen vest.
This easygoing—and іпехреп-
sive—accessory can do double
duty when worn open in the
manner of last winter's sleeve-
less down vest with, say, a plaid
sport shirt and jeans.

Believe it or not, the country-
club bold-plaid-trouser look (us-
ually coupled with a navy-blue
blazer) espoused by Ted Knight
in the movie Caddyshack is get-
ting a lot of play from a wild
and crazy fashion minority who
are teaming the slacks with off-
beat shirts and shoes (madras
slacks, a patterned Western shirt
and two-tone spectator shoes,
for example). It's a look that's
not easy to pull off, but when
you do, you can be sure you
won’tbeoverlooked or forgotten.

Lightweight scarves are be-
coming one of summers most
important casual accessories.
We especially like them long
and narrow in mesh "dishrag""
looks that can be worn cravat
style with a shirt, loosely knot-
ted—minus a shirt—at the neck
of a cotton sweater or slipped
under the collar of a sports jack-
et for a touch of color.

265

PLAYBOY

Something so specíal
is meant to be shared.

Holland's Heineken, America's number one imported beer.
266

Below: Energaire, an oxygen generator,
emits negatively charged electrons that
clean the air and keep you feeling perky,
from JS & A, Northbrook, Illinois, $49.95.

Right: For jiffy com-
putations while

on the go, slip this
ultracompact
calculator/watch
into your pocket
and— surprise! —

the timepiece has an
alarm and shows day
and date, as well

as minutes, hours and
seconds, by Sharp,
$34.95, including fob.

Right: Melitta’s traveling drip
coffee maker has created quite
abrewhaha; just plug it in
anywhere you wan-

der and enjoy deli-

cious Java, $39.95,

including cup,

various containers,

filters and a handy

carrying case.

Above: This professional Waxmaster Orbital Polisher, by Waxcoa,
gives cars, boats, cabinets, appliances, floors and anything else
you want to see glisten the brightest shine since graduation day
at boot camp, $150, including wax, buffers and cleaning solution.

Adventures in
the Skin Trade

It almost sounds like the script of a Mickey
Rooney/Judy Garland movie. In the halcyon
days before the movie “10” changed Western
civilization as weknow it, two struggling kids—
John and Bo Derek—decided to scrape some
funds together and film an erotic movie, a visual
fantasy called Love You. Sorry, guys: The Dereks
worked behind the camera, John as cinematog-
rapher, Bo as producer, They left the serious
acting to such underground stars as Annette
Haven and Lesllie Bovee. After three years on
the shelf, the work is now available in video
cassette for, uh, serious students of cinema. As
the stills here reveal, it was worth the wait.

The Dereks have a
thing for beaches.
For the filming of
Love You, they flew
two couples to a de-
serted section of
Kauai. The film
explores the conse-
quences of sexual
curiosity following
Annette Haven
(above) as she dis-
covers the full di-
mension of herown
sexuality through a
weekend of ex-
imentation and
switching partners.

The film is graphic

and sensuous. Says

John: “We don't call.

it porno. We call it

268 hanky-panky.”

John Derek told us
that making the film
was a struggle.
"Everybody said,
"You can't doit, Johi
you can't get sex
stars to act and you
can't get straights to
do hard-core. So
what are you going
to do?’ We went and
we made it, There isa
marvelous inno-
cence to these girls,
you know. And now
the people who said
it was impossible are
the ones who are giv-
ing it the greatest
applause.”

IRAPEVINE

Have Your Agent Call My Agent
JOHN TRAVOLTA has a lot of clout. Maybe he can help the

familiar-looking guy on the right, who happens to be ош of
work. They could call the show Welcome Back, Carter.

Camera Ready

Anyone who saw The Mirror Crack'dlast winter
knows that KIM NOVAK came out of retire-
ment. We should alll look so good.

Loose Ends
Actress ANN JILLIAN has uncovered a
streak of patriotism, much to our delight.
And after rave notices in Broadway's Sugar
Babies and TV's It's a Living, jillian

has the right to wave a flag.

Vice Is Nice,
but Nietzsche
Is Pietzsche....
Just ask DOUG FIEGER and
PRESCOTT NILES of The
Knack. These guys
don't need the
classic comic
version.
They can
read.

270

Muti's Mufti
Italian actress OR-
NELLA MUTI played
around with Flash
Gordonin her role

as Princess Aura, and
now she's playing
around with Ray Shar-
key in Love and Money.
When she takes a
break from making
movies, she can

play around with

из, any time.

EL RIEMAN

Poking Fun

These are the facts: About 20 photographers sent in this same picture of
BRUCE JENNER and hisbride, LINDA THOMPSON. That's reason enough
to vote Linda our celebrity breast of the month.

Herbs and Spices

What will those wacky boys think of next? CHEECH &
CHONG limbered up for their latest movie, Nice
Dreams, by autographing EVELYN GUERRERO’s tummy.

FROM BOOBS TO TUBES:
SILICONE STRIKES AGAIN

Everyone knows one kind of miracle
silicone can do for women. Now it ap-
pears there's another—“tubular occlu-
sion,” a possibly reversible method of

It's convertible weather again and time for
outdoor sports as shown above on a card
(one of 15 you get for $10) from Cold Flash
Graphics, 606 Robson Street, Vancouver,
British Columbia V6B 2B9. Ah, springtime.

plugging the Fallopian tubes with sili-
cone so the egg can’t reach the uterus,
where fertilization occurs. Doctors in
eight medical centers around the coun-
try have performed more than 300 suc-
cessful tubular occlusions without any
harmful side effects. The procedure is
done in the physician's office with the
woman fully conscious. A small amount

SEX NEWS

of Novocain is injected around the
cervix to ease the pain while a surgical
tool stretches the uterus to expose the
opening of the Fallopian tubes. A small
amount of liquid silicone is shot into
the openings and quickly hardens. After
the procedure, an X ray is taken to
check the silicone’s position. No hos-
pitalization is needed. The whole pro-
cedure costs from $450 to $650. Unlike
silicone injections used for breast en-
largement, the tiny tube implants stay
put and don't react with nearby tissue.
Doctors have performed tubular-occlu-
sion reversals on animals and are work-
ing on the procedure for humans.
Widespread use of tubular occlusion is
likely to be OK'd by the Food and
Drug Administration in about two years.

DIAMONDS
ARE FOREVER,
BUT MICROCHIPS
COME IN HANDY

Scientists have developed various
means for women to detect their own
fertility periods. First there was the heat-
sensitive brassiere, then a mere brassiere
insert. Now comes a tiny microchip that
can be worn on a necklace. It works
in concert with a special thermometer
that transmits a woman's daily tempera-
ture to the microchip for storage. A
rise in body heat signals ovulation, or
fertility. When the woman returns to
her infertile period, a green light is
illuminated. In reverse, the device
could work as an indicator for women
who are trying to become

OF THE MONTH

izes

272 |

dest Little Whorehouse in Texas, title of a 1974
»'arlicle, later a Broadway musical and soon
celebrates the Chicken Ranch, a defunct
lo in LaGrange, Texas. Chicken Ranch

ites, PO. Box 13684, Arlington, Texas 76013,
is the items here: cap ($7.50),

9.95) and token ($3.95).

pregnant, too—just go when the device
says stop. The invention, developed for
the World Health Organization, will
soon undergo testing at family-plan-
ning clinics in England, where it was
developed.

THE CORRECT ANSWER:
NONE OF THE ABOVE

As rape is discussed more and more
openly, it’s unsettling to hear high
school students parrot outmoded views

45005
FAVORITE
WORD

THE BIBLE SAYS-
COME TO ME

Sign of anew Reformation? The sentiment
of a Seattle church, above, clashes with
certain statements Pope John Paul Il has
uttered regarding weakness of the flesh.

of the crime. As part of a large not-yet-
completed study, University of Cali-
fornia researchers asked 432 male and
female teens, “When is a man justified
in forcing a girl to engage in sex?”
Fifty-four percent of the boys felt that
it was OK if she led him on, got him
sexually excited, if they'd fooled around
a little or if she first said yes and then
changed her mind. Amazingly, 42 per-
cent of the girls agreed. Sounds like а
casebook of successful defenses for ac-
cused rapists before courts and police
became more sensitive to the ordeal of
the rape victim.

YOU CAN COME
DOWN FROM YOUR
WOOFERS AND TWEETERS

Some people have a fine ear for
music; but a crotch? That's incredible,
or ridiculous. A New York inventor
named David Lloyd has introduced
Rock ‘n’ Roll Pants, a black-Lycra uni-
sex bikini outfitted with a minispeaker
and a 15-foot cord for attachment to а
stereo. They can be purchased for
$19.95 from Lloyd, 22 West 38th Street,
New York, New York 10018. Lloyd
claims the sensuous effect will vary with
the music played and with the settings.
on your amp's treble and bass controls.
Suggested below-the-belt listening:

The Fire Down Below, by Bob Seger. EH

OWN THE ROAD/ |

NEV W DATSUN TURBO:

to 60 in 7.1;
И "мет тта а No pe as Vise

PLAYBOY

274

Light of the Party

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every two seconds with nicad batteries, il's
always ready when you are. You'll never miss a
precious shot

The Sunpak 221 is surprisingly compact
and lightweight. It uses standard batteries and
is available with an optional Wide-Angle Dif-
user and Tele Kit Guide number is a powerful
72 with ASA 100 film.

SUNPAK 22е

Available wherever good cameras оге: sold.
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nut St. Burbank, Ca. 91506 - In Canada: Sunpak
Corporation of Canada, Ontario.

NEXT MONTH:

VIBRATOR HISTORY TOP PLAYMATE

“NUKES AND THE POLITICS OF FEAR"—IS IT TRUE THAT WE
LAG HOPELESSLY BEHIND THE RUSSIANS IN ARMAMENTS? EX-
PERTS FROM THE CENTER FOR DEFENSE INFORMATION, A THINK
TANK FULL OF MILITARY TYPES, SAY IT AIN'T NECESSARILY SO.
A THOUGHTFUL REPORT—BY ASA BABER

“A SHORT HISTORY OF THE VIBRATOR"—HOW THE FIRST
CAVE WOMAN GOT HER ROCKS OFF, AND OTHER LITTLE-KNOWN
FACTS ABOUT AUTOEROTIC AIDS—BY RANDY COHEN

*ANNA"—SHE WORKS AS A CHECK-OUT GIRL; HER LOVER IS A
BURGER COOK. WHAT THEY DO TO CHANGE THEIR LIVES IS THE
BASIS OF THIS STORY BY ANDRE DUBUS

*"PLAYBOY'S PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR" —YOU'VE BEEN WAIT-
ING FOR THIS, OUR ANNUAL TRIBUTE TO THE QUEEN OF THE
PAST TWELVEMONTH'S GATEFOLD GIRLS.

“THE POSITIVES OF POWERFUL THINKING" —FROM THE
AUTHOR OF POWER!, TIPS ON HOW TO BE A SURVIVOR IN THE DOG-
EAT-DOG WORLD OF OFFICE POLITICS—BY MICHAEL KORDA

“THE BELLES OF BOND”—FROM THE NEWEST 007 FILM, FOR
YOUR EYES ONLY, LOTS OF LUSCIOUS LOVELIES, INCLUDING
ROBBIN YOUNG, WINNER OF PLAYBOY'S BOND BEAUTY CONTEST.

“20 QUESTIONS: JACK LEMMON"—THE VETERAN CHARACTER
ACTOR TALKS ABOUT MARRIAGE, MATURITY AND WHY HOLLY-
WOOD HAS A HARD TIME MAKING LOVE STORIES THESE DAYS

“PLAYBOY’S SUMMER TRAVEL PLANNER"—TIPS ON NEW
GEAR AND HOW TOGET THE MOST OUT OF YOUR TOURIST DOLLAR,
PLUS THREE WILDERNESS VACATIONS—BY STEPHEN BIRNBAUM

“A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER’’—SO YOU HATE IT WHEN IT'S
RAINING CATS AND DOGS? CHEER UP. IT COULD BE WORSE. A LOT
WORSE. FANTASY BY GARDNER DOZOIS AND JACK DANN

“PLAYBOY’S GIFTS FOR DADS & GRADS"—AVOID THE LAST-
MINUTE SHOPPING RUSH. SELECT YOUR FATHER'S DAY AND
COMMENCEMENT PRESENTS FROM OUR PAGES

Alive with
pleasure!

"| New port

Afterall, if "pc
isn't a pleasure,
why bother?

Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.

` When you really get it all together.

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