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AUGUST 1983 • $3.00 


SULTRY 
SYBIL 
| DANNING 
QUEEN OF THE 
ACTION FLICKS 
HEATS UP 
A TEN-PAGE 
PICTORIAL 


TV MOGUL 

TED TURNER 
RAGES OUT 
OF CONTROL 
IN A VIOLENT 
PLAYBOY | 
INTERVIEW ^ 


TIM HUTTON 
. THE TRIALS OF A 
TEENAGE HERO 


PRO FOOTBALL 
PREVIEW. 


| *BULL'S-EYE" 
ANSON MOUNT 
| PICKS 'EM AGAIN 


20 QUESTIONS 
WITH GOLF'S 
UNINHIBITED 

JAN STEPHENSON 


, Heres to more gin taste. 


Heres to a tastier Tom. With Gilbeys. 
When you makea Collins, make sure you taste the gin. 
Gilbeys. Superb gin taste that's worth a toast. 


Sony lape. 
The Perfect Blank. 


Color it 
pigskin. 


000227012222: 


Bring home a Sony Audio or Video Tape and what 
do you get? The perfect blank. 

Electronically designed to capture more sound 
than you can hear, more color than you can see. 

Look for Sony Tape’s summer specials at your 
dealer now. 


SON Y, с 153 sony ope Soles Co A Di of Sony Corp ol Amero; болу so rodemor o! Sony Core 


"m 
a te 
KING: 17 mg. "tar", 1.3 mg. nicotine, 10's: 17 mg. "tar", R 1 
14 mg. nicotine, av. per cigarette by FTC method. » ۰ 


. 
> æ.’ o 


E LJ 
. L9 н Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
à ot That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
. е *. - ROSE 


PLAYBOY 


Jill St. John talks 
about her first time. 


see, he was Italian, and 
they just seem to know 
about these things. 


INTERVIEWER: Goon. 


outstanding men, and they 
all knew one or two new ways 
to enjoy it. | prefer "The Exotic” 
That's Campari with grape- 


ST JOHN: He was very 
romantic. He leaned 
close and whispered, 
"Gingerly?" 

"Well; | said, “I've never 
been shy about any- 
thing before.” He gave 
me a charming grin, 
then ordered a Gingerly 
for me...that's Campari, 
ginger ale and soda. 
And a Campari and 
soda for himself. 


fruit juice. 


INTERVIEWER: Well, you 
seem to have come a long 
way since your 
first time. 

ST JOHN: What 
can | say? Its 
hard to resist 
something 
when it just 
keeps getting 
better and 
better. 


INTERVIEWER: A little 


ST JOHN: My first time was in 
Tre Scalini, an adorable sidewalk 
cafe in Rome. 

INTERVIEWER: Oh, really? Right 
out in the open? 


ST JOHN: Sure...you see, l'm 
basically an outdoorsy type of 
person. 


INTERVIEWER: I see. You must tell 
rne all about it. 

STJOHN: Well, we were just relax- 
ing after a hard day of shooting. 
Just me and the crew. It hap- 
pened with the stunt man. 
INTERVIEWER: The stunt man?! 
That sounds a bit risky! 


ST JOHN: Oh, it wasn't, really. You 


Campari was made to be mixed. It’s a light, 48°proof, 
refreshing spirit, imported from Italy, with a combination of 
natural flavors and aromas unknown to any other spirit. For 
your first time, mix it with orange juice. Then enjoy it with 
grapefruit juice, ginger ale, soda, tonic, or white wine. Over 
ice, of course. CAMPARI. The smart mixable! 


You'll never forget your first time. 


CAMPARI 


mix of Italian and Ameri- Mee IA 
can...how interesting. Well, how 51590, 
9 


was it? 


ST JOHN: Very satisfying after 
that long, hot day See, it was 
deliciously light...and so 
refreshing. A very spe- 
cial experience. 


INTERVIEWER: Did you ever 
have it again? 


ST JOHN: Of course...many 
times. It's 
not the kind 
of thing you 
try once and 
then forget 
about. Гуе 
gone out 
with some 


АТ 
Ая. 
iy 


PLAY BILL 


THOSE WHO CONSIDER these the dog days are welcome to paddle, 
but with Independence Day shooting past and Labor Day yet to 
come, we think this is the time to set sail for unshackled leisure. 
Christen this issue the H.M.H. Playboy in honor of the ship- 
builder, and pardon the scent of champagne. We broke a few 
bottles in launching it to you 

At the helm of this month's Playboy Interview, the firm hand of 
Peter Ross Range. He commandeered Atlanta's own Captain Out- 
ragcous, multiple magnate Ted Turner for а loose, candid cruise 
through waters both familiar and uncharted. Then the storm 
came and Ted turned terrible. Ifyou think Turner has had rough 
sailing, imagine being 22, confused and a major movie star. The 
word from Barbara Grizzuti Horrison that Timothy Hutton 
Has Growing Pains. An Oscar winner at 20 (for Ordinary 
People), Hutton has spent a lot of time refining his crafi—and, as 
Harrison shows us, he's working on defining himself. Thomos 
Hallmon swept in with a subtly defined illustration. 

Maritime metaphors won't do justice to the story of Pout 
Trerice. Perhaps nothing will. Trerice died in 1981, in the pitiless 
arms of the U.S.S. Rangers Correctional Custody Unit. “Ironi- 
cally,” investigative reporter Bruce Henderson tells us, “I served 
aboard the ship on which Trerice died. I heard enough stories 
about ‘correctional time’ to know I wanted to avoid it.” In To- 
days Navy—Not a Job, an Adventure, Henderson waves a 
semaphore of caution—the brand of justice practiced on board 
ship may be just as brutal as the sea 

Sex, too, can be brutal, at least in the sort of places Senior Staff 
Writer James R. Petersen visited during A Walk on the Wild Side, a 
night-bird’s-eye view of the sexual frontier in New York City 
The illustration is by Olivio De Berardinis. 

This month's fiction is amphibious. Mundos Sign, by Bob 
Shocochis, is the ine biologist who finds Caribbean 
superstition drawing him into its nets. We landed the illustration 
(which was hand-crafted with hammer and chisel from flattened 
oil drums) from the collection of Haiti's star sculptor Serge 
Jolimeou. Chet Williamson's Personal Touch concerns a poor fellow 
who wants to cancel his magazine subscription. In this case, pro- 
tagonist minus subscription may equal proscription. 

Опе of this issue's high-water marks is the premiere of a new 
column, Women, by New York-based Cynthia Heimel. Not simply 
a counterbalance to Asa Bober's Men column, it is. in her words. 
*a lighthearted report from the female front in the so-called sex- 
ual revolution." Heimel is the author of Simon & Schuster's sum- 
mer sensation Sex Tips for Girls, so she ought to know 

Anson Mount, the Pooh-Bah of prognostication, returns this 
month with 1983's Pro Football Preview, movingly illustrated by 
leRoy Neiman. Mount says San Dicgo is soon to Charge to the 
Super Bowl. There's no charge for that inside information. 

The Art of Sex is a tantalizing peek at The Blue Book, a sizzling 
collection of erotic works collected by Bred Benedict and distrib- 
uted by Grove Press 

Jon Stephenson has been the object of a galleryful of carnal 
dreams; as the subject of this month's 20 Questions, she takes a 
different tack. We sent Robert Crone, our questing quidnunc, to. 
stride the fairways of her mind. The answers he collected ought 
to be put in a volume titled Sex and the Single Golfer 

You'll revel in the multiple pleasures of Sybil, Contributing 
Photographer Ken Marcus’ unbuckling of actress Sybil Denning. She 
can swash buckle for buckle with barbarians of all ages. Then. 
unfolding in our center, courtesy of Associate Staff Photographer 
Kerry Morris, there's a very important Persson named Corina. We've 
got even more cargo than that this month, including The Shuttle 
10 Short Wave, Danny Geodmon's long-range look at short-wave 
receivers, and a special Roving Eye on Brazil's startling Sonia 
Broga, who's starring with Marcello Mastroianni in а steamy new 
movie called Gabriela. You won't be left becalmed. 


ale of a 


HALLMAN 


e 


3 
HENDERSON 


DE BERARDINIS 


ras 


JOLIMEAU 


HEIMEL MOUNT NEIMAN 


GOODMAN 


MORRIS 


PLAYBOY 


vol. 30, no. 8—august, 1983 


CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 


Football Forecast 


Starlet Sybil 


PLAYBILL 5 
THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 13 
DEAR PLAYBOYE Т ОЕ 15 
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS . А Do LZ) 
Geoffrey ot the Bat: There is weird [оу in Modville. 
MUSICOS EE SE Дар ESI nae eee aree M С. 28 
A visit with Marshall Crenshaw; timeless jazz performances. 
BOOS E З ELE 32 
Chuckle warning: Peter De Vries is ot it again. 
MOVIES ЕТ. OES te EE BRUCE WILLIAMSON 33 
The Jedi return; Gere finds a new leading lady; Aykroyd still hitless- 
TELEVISION _...... . . TONY SCHWARTZ 40 
True confessions: Our col urt junkie. 
COMING ATTRACTIONS. E E . JOHN BLUMENTHAL 41 
Mel turns Mutinous; Timothy Hutton on ice. 
WOMEN АЕН BE Se . . CYNTHIA HEIMEL 43 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR EE ED SISE OSL AS 
IDEARIPLAYMATES TE ES AS N taae e E Д, 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM . . و‎ ae E 53 
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: TED TURNER—candid conversation. oe 59 


He's Atlanta's Captain Outrageous, the man who skippered Courageous 
to yachting’s America’s Cup, got kicked out of his own team's dugout by 
baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn and turned a local TV station into the 
nation’s fourth network. Now our interviewer trades questions and 
answers with Terrible Ted. 


MUNDO'S SIGN—fiction................... .BOBSHACOCHIS 70 
^ marine biologist sees his ideos about life in the Coribbeon turn turtle. 


PERMANENT VACATION pictorial.. .... leoi eese 74 
It wasn't always as sweet os a Florida orange, but there were plenty of 
navels to contemplate. 


TODAY'S NAVY— 

NOT A JOB, AN ADVENTURE—article ........... BRUCE HENDERSON 82 
Paul Trerice died aboard the U.S.S. Ranger in 1981 after being "exer- 
cised” by members of the ship's own Correctional Custody Unit. His 
father wants to know why. 


NO-SWEAT SWEATS—attire оронбосо Fo 2 HOLLIS WAYNE 84 
Anybody who thinks warm-ups are only for the gym should turn in his 
Walkman. 


BERNARD AND HUEY—satire ...................... JULES FEIFFER 87 


COVER STORY 

Cover girl Sybil Donning's the most beautiful barbarienne in business. Caught 
in ane of her infrequent moments af repose by Contributing Photographer Ken 
Marcus, she stands paised to launch a new golden age in cinema. The chain-moil 
outfit is not just decorative—metal’s the best canductor of heat. 


A WALK ON THE WILD SIDE—article.............. JAMES R. PETERSEN 88 
Follow our tour guide on an eye-popping trip through the outposts of 
New Yark's sexual frontier. Bet you never knew nails were a sex aid. 


BEER CHIC—drink. . eue hasc ...... MICHAEL JACKSON 91 
In which the British-born author of The World Guide to Beer presents a 
thorough, informed survey af the world's indubitably bitchin’ brews. 


FIRST PERSSON SINGULAR— playboy's playmate of the month ........ 92 
Corino's from Sweden, where sex is rumored to come before ‘rithmetic, 
"ritin' and readin’. She came to the U.S. to find broader horizons 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY 4ОКЕ$—һчтог........................,........ 106 
TIMOTHY HUTTON HAS 
GROWING PAINS—personality........ BARBARA GRIZZUTI HARRISON 108 


How dees it feel to be 22 and on the come, ta have yaung girls and their 
mothers dreaming af you? Maybe it's not all it’s cracked up ta be, but it's 
not all bod, either. Ask Tim. 


THE SHUTTLE TO SHORT WAVE—modern living. ... DANNY GOODMAN 110 
Time was, short wave was for studious types who couldn't hold their 
beer. Naw it may be the best way ta keep your ear to the warld. 


THE ART OF SEX— pictorial. ed AU ETUR ORO EL ad oot AULA 
This Blue Baok hes nothing to do with high saciety—and everything to do 
with eroticism. 


Timothy, Leery 


THE PERSONAL TOUCH—fiction ................. CHET WILLIAMSON 118 
Have you gatten one cf those “personalized” pieces of junk mail lately? 
Was it from a surveillance magazine? 


PLAYBOY'S PRO FOOTBALL PREVIEW— sports . . . ANSON MOUNT 120 
Our peerless pigskin pundit has been perspicacious far years, picking 
more near-perfectly than all the competition. This time, he likes Dan 
Fauts and San Diego. 


Meo сөз тийди. cano Ewen acts ars o M ча 7 


PLAYBOY 


zs 


Geshe ien eee 


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BOOTS 


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Order your Monte Alban Mezcal 


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Authentic Monte Alban baseball 
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Lightweight but ultrardurabte bat 
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Ball is Monte Alban vel for 
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PLAYBOY 


HUGH M. HEFNER 
editor and publisher 


NAT LEHRMAN associate publisher 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director 
ТОМ STAEBLER art director 
DON GOLD managing editor 
GARY COLE photography director 
G. BARRY GOLSON executive editor 


EDITORIAL 

ARTICLES: JAMES MORGAN editor; ROB FLEDER 
asociale editor; FICTION: ALICE К. TURNER 
editor; TERESA GROSCH associate editor; WEST 
COAST: STEPHEN RANDALL edifor; STAFF: WIL 
JAM J. HELMER GRETCHEN MC NEESE PATRICIA 
PAPANGELIS (administration), DAVID STEVENS 
Senior editors; ROBERT E. CARR, WALTER LOWE. JR 
JAMES R PETERSEN senior slaff writers; KEVIN 
COOK, BARBARA NELLIS, KATE NOLAN. } F 
O'CONNOR, JOHN REZEK associate editors; SUSAN 
MARGOLIS-WINTER associale new york editor; 
DAVID NIMMOSS assistant editor; MODERN LIV- 
ING: ED WALKER associale editor; JIM BARKER 
asistani editor; FASHION: HOLLIS WAYNE Con- 
tributing editor; HOLLY BINDERUP assistant editor 
CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY editor; COPY 
ARLENE BOURAS editor; JOYCE RUBIN assistant editor; 
NANCY BANKS, CAROLYN BROWNE, JACKIE JOHNSON. 
MARCY MARCHI, BARI LYNN NASH, DAVID TARDY, MARY 
ZION researchers; CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: 
ASA BABER, JOHN BLUMENTHAL. LAURENCE GONZALES, 
LAWRENCE GROBEL, ANSON MOUNT. PETER ROSS 
RANGE, DAVID RENGIN, RICHARD RHODES, JOHN SACK 
TONY SCHWARTZ (felevision), DAVID STANDISH, 
BRUCE WILLIAMSON (movies), GARY WITZENBURG 


ART 

KERIG OPE managiug director; CHEY SUSKI, LEN 
WILLIS Senior directors; BRUCE HANSEN, THEO 
KOUVATSOS. SKIP WILLIAMSON associate directors: 
JOSEPH PACZEK assistant director; BETH RASIK 
Senior art assistant; ANN SEIDL. CRAIG SMITH art 
assistants; SUSAN HOLMSTROM traffic coordinator; 
BARBARA HOFEMAN administrative manager 


PHOTOGRAPHY 
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JEFF 
COHEN senior edilor; JAMES LARSON. JANICE 
MOSES associate editors; PATTY BEAUDET, LINDA 
KENNEY. MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN assistant editors; 
POMPEO POSAR staff photographer; DAVID MECEY 
KERRY MORRIS associate staff photographers; BILL 
ARSENAULT, MARIO CASILLL DAVID CHAN 
RICHARD FEGLEY, ARMY FREYTAG. FRANCIS 
GIACOBETTL R. SCOTT HOOPER. RICHARD 1201, 
TARRY L LOGAN, KEN MARCUS contributing 
photographers; Luisa stewart (Rome) contrib- 
uting editor; jaws warp color lab supervisor; 
ROBERT CHELIUS business manager 


PRODUCTION 
JOHN MASTRO director; ALLEN VARGO manager: 
MARIA MANDIS asst. mg; ELEANORE WAGNER 
JODY JURGETO, RICHARD QUARTAROLI assistants 


READER SERVICE 
CYNTHIA LACEY-SIKICH manager 


CIRCULATION 
RICHARD SMITH director; ALVIN WIEMOLD SUb- 
scription manager 


ADVERTISING 
HENRY W. MARKS director 


ADMINISTRATIVE 
PAULETTE GAUDET rights & permissions manager; 
MILDRED ZIMMERMAN administrative assistant 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
CHRISTIE HEENER president: MARVIN L HUSTON 
executive vice-president 


TODAY, YOUR ENGINES 
GOTIT TWICE AS 
TOUGH. 


AIE LEE TWO-STAGE 
UAI MAXIFILTER 
РЕВ ЕЕ TWICE AS HARD. 


The Lee Two-Stage Maxifilteris ү 
built with two stages. Two. À second 


KING: 15 mg. "tar", 1.1 mg. nicotine, a mg. "tar", 14 mg. 
nicotine, av. per cigarette by FTC metho 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


THE WORLD OF PLAYBOY 


in which we offer an insiders look at what's doing and who's doing it 


THE DOCTOR 

CALLS MARILYN 
When impressionist Marilyn 
Michaels posed for her August 
1982 feature (below), we expected 
some career spin-offs. One wind- 
fall was her new husband, 
Dr. Peter Wilk, who introduced 
himself after Marilyn guested 
on a radio show promoting 
СМ herpictorial. Left: the newlyweds. 


YOU'RE RIGHT; WE'RE PROUD 

PLAYBOY Editor-Publisher Hugh M. Hefner and Lawrence 
Hilford, CBS/Fox Video prexy, unite over the Gold Video 
Award earned by Playboy Video, Volume 1 for sales of 
more than $1,000,000. CBS/Fox distributes Playboy Video. 


THERE'S NO WAY TO TOP THIS, KYM 


Below left: May 1982 Playmate Kym Malin, Joe Don Baker 
end Kim G. Michel in a demanding scene from their 
cinematic triumph Joysticks. Kym has played topless parts be- 
fore; the true acting test here was trying to keep a straight face. 


JAMES WATT: GO AHEAD, 
EAT YOUR HEART OUT 


Above, Playmates Lynda 
Wiesmeier and Vicki Lasse- 
ter join Beach Boy Mike 
Love and Dean (Jan and 
Dean) Torrence onstage in 
Fort Lauderdale just after 
the Secretary of the In- 
terior tried to nix The 
Beach Boys’ July 
fourth appearance in 
Washington, D.C. Left 
and right Lynda 
and Vicki offstage. 


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styling married to Yamaha reliability. - ` And with а 12-month limited warranty; in five delectable colors. 
aor lh a quiet high tech powerplant you _ to protect you from surprises, period. Choose the model. 
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1 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY 
PLAYBOY BUILDING 
919 N. MICHIGAN AVE. 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


| LYNCHBURG 


HARDWARE & GENERAL STORE 
—  ———— | 


BALANCING TERROR 
Laurence Gonzales’ The Targeting of 
America (piaveoy, May) fails to make 
available a reasonable solution to terror- 
ism. Police-state tactics will not worl 
because they only build up support for ter- 
rorists. Extra-tight security will not work, 
because there will always be alternative 
targets. My proposed solution is: Instead 
ctl ing only the "experts" handle terror- 
let the American public handle it. 
(rib cr. ООУ, um vigilante 
SWAT teams. But terrorists must become 
the enemies of all Americans. We need to 
expose them, not just discuss them. 
Jerome D. Reeves 
St. Louis, Missouri 


T suggest that the Los Angeles Olympic 
Organizing Committee and the Olympic 
Law Enforcement Coordinating Council 
consider utilizing the expertise and the 
advice that the Guardian Angels could 
ofer concerning any gang-related inci- 
dents that may arise at the 1984 Olympics. 
The Guardian Angels have had a signifi- 
cant and positive impact on many Amcr- 
ican cities. The L.A.P.D. will have its 
hands full without having to exert its 
efforts toward keeping an eye on all of 
LAs gangs. 

L am very proud that the Olympics will 
be held in California, Thanks for The 
Targeting of America. 

Robert S. 1 
Fremont, California 


PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORIES 
Congratulations on May's dynamic 
Playboy Interview with Ansel Adams. A 
master, Adams has inspired many photog- 
raphers in terms of technique as well as of 
composition, His views on nature are as 
powerful as his photography 
Stephen L. Bosak 
Yonkers, New York 


I can't help agr 
on most subject: 


g with Adams’ views 
particularly his low 


opinion of Helmut Newton's work. Just 
look at what Newton did ıo your May 
cover! 


JACK DANIEL 
BLACK LABEL T-SHIRT 


1 finally did it! | persuaded the Jack Daniel's 
folks to let me use their famous Black Label 
on a T-shirt. High quality black fabric 
(5095/5096) with white lettering. You know 
it's real, because it has Mr. Jack's signature 
on the back. A must for collectors and the. 
ONLY T-shirt authorized by the Jack Daniel 
Distillery. Order S, M, L or XL. $8.00 
delivered. 


Send check, money order or use American 
Express, Diners Club, Visa or MasterCard, 
including all numbers and signatnre. (Add 
63496 sales tax for TN delivery) For a free 
catalog, write to Eddie Swing at the above 
address. Telephone: 615-759-7184. 


R. G. Korth 
Milford, Utah 


NASTASSIA'S SKINSKI 
"In life beauty perishes but not in 
ari"— Leonardo da Vinci. You have im- 
mortalized the subject of Nastassia Kinski 
Exposed (vtaveoy, May). Thanks 
Scott Hamlin 
Redwood City, California 


That is the ugliest picture you've ever 
used for a cover! 
Phil Gabler 
Fort Lauderdale, Florida 


Тап astounded, perturbed and awed by 
the Nastassia Kinski cover photo on your 
May issue. It's the most pleasurable image 
Гуе seen in months. 

German A. Sanche: 
San Juan, Puerto Rico 


“JOCKS FEEL | 

COMFORTABLE 
INCOLORFUL_ | 

. LE JACQUES. | 


Super support. 
In DuPont ANTRON* 
Nylon/LYCRA* 
Spandex. And five colors. 
"The most comfortable 
jock you'll ever wear. 


The pictures of Nastassia Kinski you 
printed are a discredit to a very attractive 
woman. 

Cam Wingrove 

Port Coquitlam, British Columbia 


Miss Kinski is а very beautiful, sexy and 
talented girl, but none of that comes 
through in your pictorial. 

(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


Send me | 
LE JACQUES SPORTSTRAPS 
— Small 26-32 inches | 
— Medium 32-38 inches 
— Large 38-44 inches | 


‘The photos of Nastassia Kinski are аш- 
ful. That kind of mindless, avant-garde, 
“Gee, look how clever | am" photography 
is about as erotic as oatmeal. 

Terence Hines 
Pleasantville, New York 


$9.50 each, including postage. | 
Make check or money order 
payable to: 

LE JACQUES, USA l 

Dept. P,73 Martine St. 

P.O. Box165 

Fali River, MA 02723 


PLAYBOY'S Kinski cover proves that the 
greatest part of passion is imagination. 
Miss Kinski can summon morc passion in 
her stare than most women can conjure up. 


At Top 
Sporting Goods 


‘Stores, too. 


le JACQUES ; 
sport STRAP. 


PLAYBO!Y 


Note Of 
Interest To 
PLAYBOY 

Subscribers 


Periodically, PLAYBOY sup- 
plies carefully screened or- 
ganizations (whose products 
and services we feel could 
be of interest to you) with 
the names and addresses of 
our subscribers. Most sub- 
scribers enjoy receiving mail 
of this nature. However, oth- 
ers sometimes object to 
having their names released 
for this purpose. If you wish 
to have your name deleted 
from lists furnished to out- 
side companies, please mail 
your written request (and 
include your mailing label, 
if available) to: ; 


Cynthia Whitner 
PLAYBOY Magazine 
919 N. Michigan Avenue 
Chicago, IL 60611 


in thcir entire bodies. It would be pointless 
to inventory her other physical attri- 
butes— they arc obvious. It is her face that 
contains more raw sexual energy than a 
horde of disrobed beauties. I am certain 
that if she had lived in I6th Century Italy, 
Lconardo would have devoted all of his 
time to portraiture. 

Todd Devereaux 

Eau Claire, Wisconsin 


SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 
The Playboy Readers’ Sex Survey, Part 
Three (vLayeoy, May) is well written and 
informative. 1 have several thoughts on 
your conclusions. At one point, you specu- 
late as to why a les would buy 
riAYpOY. The reasons are probably the 
same as for gay men. Quite aside from its 
well-known pictorials. your magazine is 
perhaps the best on the market. Not only 
are your fiction and humor outstanding, 
your attitude toward fluidity in sexual be- 
havior has always been progressive. My 
first PLAYBOY subscription was given to me 
by a straight college roommate as a joke. I 
have subscribed ever since. My only dis- 
agreement with Kevin Cook concerns his 
restatement of Masters and Johnson's con- 
clusion that intragender empathy is not 
important in fellatio. In my experience. 
there have been bad blow jobs. Interest- 
ingly enough, the worst was from a man 
So were the best. Keep up the good work. 

‘Jim Connolly 

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 


Your May issue carries a purportedly 
serious and, God knows, exhaustive and 
ting examination of sexual identi- 
normal,” homo and swinging both 
Four pages earlier, the Party Jokes 
page reports that PLAvbOY's Unabashed 
Dictionary defines fired fairy as a canned 
fruit Funny, funny. Ha, ha, ha. Your 
mucho macho staff really is too much, and 
your editorial stance about open- 
nindedness is even fuller of baloney than 
afeway’s warehouse. Having read that 
juxtaposition on April Fools’ Day moves 
me to muse that there must be some fools 
loose in your offices 

Raymond M. Glasscote 

Washington, D.C. 


Thanks for the great analysis of your 
survey results in the May rLayuoy. Being a 
bi female, I was delighted to learn that my 
sisters аге as highly charged and as sexual- 
ly satisfied as I am. I agree with your 
findings 100 percent. Bisexual women are 
in extremely high demand. You can be cer- 
tain that it’s easier for women who go both 
ways to get a date on Saturday night, The 
number of couples who come on to me— 
who are interested in ménages—well, I 
couldn't begin to count them. 1 was mar- 
ried, but two years ago, at the age of 27, I 
got a divorce. My urge for women had be- 
come too strong. Now I can move freely 
back and forth between male and female 


partners. | seldom have to spend a 
weekend alone. As for where my “quality” 
sex comes from, I have to admit that at 
this time in my life, women provide me 
with greater stimulation. So many young 
women are so in touch with their bodies 
that being with them is like being in a 
sexual laboratory—there’s so much to 
experiment with. My female lovers are ex- 
ceptional cunnilinguists and great fanta- 
sizers. They make up for the lack (2) of a 
penis with fingers, devices and oral sex. 
How abouta story on the predominance of 
bisexuality in such cities as New York? It 
might open а lot of eyes. 

(Name withheld by request) 

New York, New York 


THE RIGHT STUFF 
"Thank vou, Tom Boswell. for a fascinat- 
ing view of one of baseball's finest in Palm- 
er vs. Palmer (etaveoy, May). It seems 
that every baseball fan in America knows 
the worth of a pitcher of Jim Palmer’s cali- 
ber, with the exception of the people of 
Baltimore. If the Oriole organization is 
ready to deal, there's bound to be a market 
for a 37-year-old with 263 career victories, 
even if he is a hypochondriac. 
Michael Dungey 
Chester, Ilinois 


Kudos to Boswell for his superb article 
on Jim Palmer. He has succincdy revealed 
the essence of what Palmer is about and 
what loyal Oriole followers have known for 
along time: that Jim is the premier pitcher 
in all of baseball, Although he may be an 
enigma, he has surely earned the right to 
be accepted for what he is. Oriole fans who 
have followed his career understand and 
appreciate that. 


Robert P. Lloyd 
Ellicott City, Maryland 


Earl Weaver is a Cro-Magnon (I 
wouldn't want to insult any other primi- 
tive men) who did fora living probably the 
only thing he could have done. I don't care 
how great his garden is. Jim Palmer, on 
the other hand, would probably be suc- 
cessful at anything he did. He's handsome, 
looks great in shorts and is a great athlete. 
God knows there are too few of us around. 
Howard M. Elson 
McKeesport, Pennsylvania 


DIDNT LIKE IT, HUH? 
Regarding Norman 
Evenings (PLAYBOY, April and May): What 
drivel. What an extraordinarily flaccid 
picce of swordsmanship, so to speak. Dis- 
appointment compels me to point out that 
the emperor wears no clothes: 
Sandy Mack 
Baltimore. Maryland 


Mailer’s Ancient 


SPOUSE + SPOUSE = SPICE 

The ladies you introduce to us in Mee! 
the Mrs. (т\лувоу, May) are nothing short 
of fantastic. Their physical beauty is equal 


to that of any 19-year-old you ha 
tured. But far beyond the physical 2 
butes are the characters, attitudes and 
personalities of those women, which prove 
that beauty truly is not only skin-deep. As 
a husband of 15 years, I know other h 
bands will understand what I mean when 
I say that it is wives such as those that 
make it all worth while. To both of them, I 
say thank you. To Mr. Griffin and Mr. 
Parver, I say congratulations! 

Frank Puleo, Jr. 

Chicago, Illinois 


I suddenly realized that I have picked 
up the May issue at least half a dozen 
times to gaze at the body of Mrs. Oklaho- 
ma, Mari Griffin. Its evident by her 
smile and the look in her eyes that she is 
very happy. It’s just as easy to see why she 
won that Tight-Fitting Jeans contest. 

(Name and address 
withheld by request) 


two Mrs. America final- 
ture pictorial? Why isn’t 
or both—Playmate of 
the Month? 
Steve Dolmer 
rdena, California 
Because if they'd been Playmates of the 
Month, we'd have had all this while space in 
the “Meet the Mrs.” pictorial. In any case, 


both wedded Marilyns are blissful over the re- 
ception you've given them. That's Marilyn С. 
gelling the good news (above) as she recovers 
from the tight-jeans contest. 


A CLASSICAL GAS 
I must admit I was impressed when 
PLAYBOY called me for information about 
my Classical Music Lovers’ Exchangi 
which was to be mentioned in the Music 
section of vour April issue. However, I was 
a little disappointed that the item, when 
d in “Fast Tracks" gave a 
somewhat erroneous impression. While 
C.M.LE., a nationwide organization with 


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2000 members, does help unattached clas- 
sical-music lovers find others who share 
their addiction, it does not “get them a 
compatible date.” That is entirely up to 
them. I provide only information and 
memberships to music lovers who write to 
C.M.L.E, Box 31, Pelham, New York 
10803. Many articles have appeared about 
me and C.M.L.E., but it was especially 
fun to see my name in PLAYBOY 

Tamara Monique Conroy, Founder 

and President 
Classical Music Lovers’ Exchange 
Pelham, New York 


SO CALL OFF THE LOCUSTS. 

A bolt of lightning hit Contributing Editor 
David Rensin's door the other day, leaving 
the following message. 

Dear Mr. Rensin: 

When we finished it, I told you how 
much I enjoyed the Q.-and-A. session we 
did for rLAYBov (20 Questions, May). Now 
I want to congratulate you on the result. 1 
imagined that some of my views would be 
out of fashion, with your editors if not with 
you. In either case, І could have come out 
sounding like a jerk. Instead, I think it’s 
опе of the best pieces on me in a long time. 
I thank you for that. 

A small point: Your comment, as well as 
the photograph used, implies that I have 
some kind of addiction to peanut butter. I 
want you to know that my daily habit is 
very small; I am not dependent; I can quit 
any time I want to. Also, although Skippy 
is OK, the pure stuff is Red Wing. Ask Bill 
Buckley. 


Charlton Heston 
Beverly Hills, California 
Rensin replies: 
И was good for me, too. Seriously. Let's 
have lunch. You bring the Red Wing. 


OH, OH, OH WHAT A GIRL 
We of the cold North have given a warm 
reception to the beauty of May Playmate 
Susie Scott. Her tantalizing eves, gorgeous 
body and vitality for life have fired up our 
souls and rekindled our collegiate bodies. 
Please, just one more photo. 
Rob Strahl 
Houghton, Michigan 


I met Susie Scott in Atlanta several 
weeks ago, and I must say it was a real 
pleasure. She is undoubtedly one of the 
most gorgeous women I have ever secn. 
There is no question inmy mind as to who 
is deserving of the coveted 1984 Playmate 
of the Year selection; perhaps another 
glimpse will persuade any doubters 

Glenn Williams 
Atlanta, Georgia 


I could go on for pages trying to de- 
scribe Susie Scott. She is by far the finest 
Playmate I have ever seen, and my collec- 
tion goes back over 200 issues, Our Secu- 
rity Police squadron’s Charlie flight has 
unanimously elected Susie as its official 
Fantasy Girl. The midnight shift will be a 


lot more bearable now: that we have her 
pictorial to keep us awake at night. (Be- 
lieve me, it does.) What do we Service 
guys have to do for an encore from Susie— 
invade Cuba? 


C. R. Furr 
Washington, D.C. 
Forget about invading Cuba—we're not 


going to be party to something like that again. 
Here's your encore picture, though 


l have just finished reading the May 
issue of PLAYBOY for the tenth time. I was a 
boxer for a few years while in the Air 
Force, but 1 have never had the wind 
knocked out of me as much as when I saw 
Susie Scott for the first time. 

David L. Cox 
Sepulveda, California 


I'm a very loyal guy to a very special 
girl. She lives on campus at the school she 
attends. If Pm lucky, I see her on 
weekends. Our relationship is supported 
by much love between us and many cold 
showers for yours truly. However, if there’s 
an ounce of infidelity in my drenched soul, 
it belongs to Susie Scott. Great Scott, in- 
deed! 

David A. Chance 
Dunwoody, Georgia 


LOUNGING LIZARD 
Who took that mahvelous shot of Paul 
Shaffer reclining on his piano for the May 
Music section? And by the way, is he really 
Doc Severinsen's son? 
Jason Rampian 
San Jose, California 
New York-based photographer Cori Wells 
Braun took the picture. While Shaffer is, in 
Braun's words, "wonderfully pleasant and 
cooperative," he’s no relation to the Sultan of 
the Spitvalve. Rumor has it he's Billy Pres- 
ton's legendary lost brother, the one who was 
hiding when God passed out the funk 


19 


‘Copenhagen 
‘Dortmund 


Karlsruhe Indianapolis 9-13 


london Los Angeles 9-23, 24 
tyon Milwaukee B-27 
Madrid Minneapolis 8-28 
Murich New York 8-9 


Nantes Philadelphia B-5 
Nice St Louis 9-14 
Paris San Diego 9-21 


Stockholm Seattle 9-1 
Torino Worcester. MA 8-17 


_ Tourcities and dates subject to 
‘change based upon final routing 


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The pleasure is crystal clear. 


PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


HAWAIIAN PUNCH LINE 


The Chicago Tribune ran a story describ- 
ing the advice Hawaiians had received to 
avoid volcanic eruptions. The paper had 
the good sense to head the piece: “Hawat 
IANS TOLD 50 WAYS TO LEAVE YOUR LAVA.” 


TOURIST ATTRACTION 


Jerry Frockt used to be a tourism direc- 
tor for Broward County, Florida. He made 
more than $42,000 a year. One day, he was 
invited on a group promotional tour of 
Italy, Spain and West Germany. When 
the group got to the Vatican, he slipped on 
his yellow-and-grcen alligator suit—Al E 
Gator is the state's official mascot—to 
pose for snapshots; Vatican guards asked 
to see his passport and then asked him and 
the rest of the group to leave the square. 
“See you later, alligator,” was the greeting 
Frockt got back home County commis- 
sioner Nicki Grossman said, “1 am embar- 
rassed on behalf of Broward County, the 
state of Florida and the United States of 
America.” 


. 

An article appeared in the Los Angeles 
Times about the Oakland Feminist Wom- 
en's Health Center Sperm Bank, run by 
women who believe that they should be in 
control of reproductive 
What caught our eye was the quote from 
one of the facility’s personnel: “What you 
are seeing is that women are taking the 
technology into their own hand: 

. 

A correspondent sent us a restaurant 
card advertising a Golden Shower Cock- 
tail, which costs $3.95 by the pitcher. 
"Those who wish to enjoy one should rush 
to Smith Brothers’ Los Angeles Fish 
Shanty and ask for it by name. 

e 

Tennessee’s Cookeville Herald-Citizen 
printed a classified ad for a “1978 
Triumph Shitfire convertible. Green, 1300- 


their process. 


c.c. engine, 4-speed. Must sell!” The owner 
didn’t say anything about driver comfort. 
° 
A passenger on the cruise ship T.S.S. 
Fairwind of the Sitmar Line sent us a copy 
of the shipboard paper that included this 
item: “Land ahoy! For a clear view of your 
anal passage tomorrow, Steve suggests a 
pair of our superb Japanese 8x 30 binocu- 
lars.” Actually, we think we'll be too busy 

at shuffleboard to be interested. 


BRAIN WAIVE 


You don’t qualify for Mensa? You 
can say "Pooh-poch on IQ.” and join 
DENSA: Diversly Educated but Not 
Seriously Affected (if you can pick out the 
misspelled word, you don't qualify). All 
you have to do is take a simple test. Con- 
sider: “The oars test (oar, oar): Take two 
full-size oars and place them ina shot glass 
full of water (Perrier optional). If you find 
that you have both oars in the water, you 


aren't dense enough.” Presumably, if you 
send the DENSA Society (P.O. Box 
214338, Dallas, Texas 75221) five bucks, 
that’s proof enough that you belong. 

D 

Russian scientists have solved the mys- 
tery of a computer that worked fine when 
men were around but began spewing out 
nonsense when women walked into the 
room. It turned out that synthetic fibers 
in the women’s underwear irritated the 
electronic brain. The women have been 
ordered to wear woolen undies. 

. 

Опсс again, there is mixed news coming 
out of Poland. The good news is that de- 
spite critical shortages of consumer goods, 
a store in Lublin offers a wide selection of. 
clothing. The bad news is that the shop 
sells only to bereaved relatives who want 
to make their departed loved ones look 
smart for burial. 

. 

The Fidelity Savings and Loan Associa- 
tion of Glendale, California, makes a 
reasonable point in a letter it sent out 
recently to customers. “What if you were 
to die before completing your IRA pro- 
gram?" the letter asks. “Untimely death 
erious effect on the retire- 


could have a s 
ment you've planned.” 
. 

A sign in a Tokyo hotel that caters to 
American businessmen reads: YOU ARE RE 
SPECTEULLY REQUESTED TO ТАКЕ ADVANTAGE OF 
me 


HAMBERMAIDS. 


€ FOR CONNUBIAL BLISS 


Last year, Murdoch High School in 
Winchendon, Massachusetts, offered а 
course in Marriage and Family that gave 
students some real-life training. Of the 
kids enrolled in the class, two were picked 
10 get married. For six weeks, the bride 
planned and priced her wedding, while the 
groom took a look at the job market and 
made a budget. When the big day arrived, 


23 


A renowned sailing ship artist creates his first work in porcelain . . . 


THE GREAT CLIPPER SHIPS 


by L.J. Pearce 


A powerful series of twelve collector plates, 
each a magnificent example of the long-established tradition 
of marine art on fine porcelain. 


Issued in limited edition 
and available by subscription only. 


Advance subscription deadline: 
August 31, 1983 


The majestic clipper ships the 
speediest, most graceful sailing ships 
ever to sail the seven seas. They set 
speed records which stand to this day, 
and they inspired a tradition of seafar- 
ing art that continues to attract a wide 
following. In our own time, perhaps no 
other artist has better captured the dra- 
ma and power of these magnificent 
ships or the excitement of the clipper 
ship era than Britain's L.J. Pearce. 


Stirring art by an internationally 
acclaimed marine artist 


During a distinguished career devoted 
to re-creating on canvas the force and 
intensity of the sea, Pearce has won 
the acclaim of critics and collectors 
throughout the world. His recent ex- 
hibits include important showings at 
the Kennedy Galleries in New York, the 
Royal Society of Marine Artists, Guild- 


Loaded with gold dust valued at over 200,000 
pounds sterling, the American Red Jacket cau- 
liously picks her course through treacherous ice 
off Cape Hom. 


hall, London; and the Mystic Seaport 
Museum in Connecticut, where his 
works are included in the permanent 
collection. In addition, he was commis- 
sioned to create a series of original 
works portraying the tall ships of "Oper- 


The famous British Clipper Cutty Sark is shown ina 
spar-cracking “tea race" from Shanghai to London, 
leading her arch rival Thermopylae. 


ation Sail” —considered by many to be 
the most memorable event of America's 
Bicentennial celebration 

Now, at the height of his career, L.J. 
Pearce has created his first work of art 
in fine porcelain—‘The Great Clipper 
Ships." A series of twelve collector's 
plates portraying the majesty and 
strength of the fastest and most beau- 
tiful ships the world has ever seen. 

Each of these plates is, in itself, a 
masterful work of art. Together, they 
form an incomparable collection that 
will be a proud acquisition for every 
subscriber . .. a focus for conversation 
and admiration wherever they are dis- 
played in the home. 


The splendor of sea and sail ... 
captured with vigor and intensity 


The plates themselves will be large in 
Size —9 inches in diameter—allowing 
full scope for Pearce's finely detailed 
portraits of the lean-hulled, tall-sparred 
clippers. And to capture the essence of 
these beautiful ships, Mr. Pearce has 
used a full palette of colors—as many 
as 15 on each plate. These will be fired 
on at a temperature of 800° C to ensure 
a beautiful glaze and a richness of 
color that will keepits freshness forever. 

To provide a distinctive finishing 
touch, each plate will be bordered with 
a band of pure 24 karat gold, hand- 
applied to its rim. 

These plates will be created under 
the careful supervision of Franklin Por- 
celain in Japan, home of some of the 
world's most talented porcelain crafts- 
men. Throughout every step, the plates 
will reflect the standards of excellence 
that distinguish the finest works of art 
in porcelain. 


The Sea Witch off Hong Kong ready lor her 74-day, 14-hour run to New York— а record she holds to this day. 


Srown smaller than actual plate size of 9' in diameter. 


Pearce's very beautiful and marve- 
lously romantic works of art have been 
commissioned by Franklin Porcelain 
especially for this issue and are avail- 
able only on these fine porcelain plates. 
This is a collection that will be enjoyed 
and prized by all who love the legend 
and lore of the sea, the splendor and 
grace of sailing ships, and the rich 
beauty of art in fine porcelain. 


A limited edition 
of lasting importance 


"The Great Clipper Ships" will be issued 
in limited edition, permanently re- 
stricted to the exact number of sub- 
scriptions entered by the end of 1983 
The accompanying advance applica- 
tion is valid only until August 31, 1983. 


The finest in maritime ап for display in your home. 


As a subscriber, you will receive your 
collection at the rate of one plate every 
other month. The original issue price of 
$55 for each plate will be billed in two 
equal monthly installments of $27.50 
each. This favorable issue price is guar- 
anteed to you for the duration of your 
subscription. Each plate will be accom- 
panied by a specially written ship's his- 
tory. And a Certificate of Authenticity 
will be sent with the collection. 


As the first works in porcelain by one 
of today's leading marine artists, this. 
collection is clearly destined to have 
lasting importance. To enter your sub- 
scription for this magnificent collection, 
please complete and mail your applica- 
lion to Franklin Porcelain, Franklin Cen- 
ter, РА 19091— by August 31, 1983. 


AT THE BAT 


Mighty Casey let Mudville down 95 years ago, and there hasn't been а good 
baseball poem since. So our own mighty K.C. (Associate Edilor Kevin Cook) 
struck out to find a modern Mudville, to see whether or not the national game 
could take one more turn for the verse. This is his report. 


It looked extremely grody for the Glendale nine that day: 
The score stood six to four, two out, an inning left to play. 
All day our California kids held Taiwan's team at bay, 
But their team was Toyota; ours was only Chevrolet. 


A faithless few got up to go, to dress for some premiere; 

The rest sat tight, their capped teeth bright. They tried to look sincere. 
They thought, We're lost if Geoffrey ever gets a chance to bat— 

A mellow child is he, who makes arcades his habitat. 


But little Ruth McKenzie stood in first, Todd Smith on deck 

The latter hit like yogurt and the former was a wreck. 

She'd smoked some dope the night before with Todd, “that little sickie.” 
Last night she'd had one; now she saw a ball for every hickey. 


She took a strike, then took a ball, a fast one, on the knee. 

She cried; they sent a runner in and went on Ruthlessly. 

Then Todd, aspiring superstud, ignored his female’s trouble— 
Ignored his glands for lotus land and calmly lined a double. 


Now from that jaded multitude went up a joyless pacan. 
It trudged atop the burning hills, a song Chavez Ravian. 

It struck upon the Valley, making Perrier go flat: 

“It’s up to Mellow Geoffrey—not with joy stick but with hat” 


He played right field, because his father’s agent owned the team 
His eyes were lined by vector graphics. Pixels sparked his dreams 
And when, dismayed by all the hype, he wiped away a tear, 

The players, fans and parents all felt football season near. 


Ten million eyes were on the boy, though mostly through TV; 

The little league had signed a little pact with NBC. 

And while the Taiwan hurler, Taiwan On, got set to fire, 

Geofl’s eyes sought out his only friend—the shortstop, Bill “Blow” Dreier. 


But Bill was making Ruth his babe, as trainers stood aghast, 
And Geoff was all alone, just three feet nine and shrinking fast. 
Close by the semi-laid-back batsman’s nose, a slider broke. 

“He must have tilted it,” said Geoff. 


trike one!” the umpire spoke. 


A smile of Krishna consciousness on Geoff’s white visage shone. 

He missed Blow Dreier, sure, but still a boy could hold his own. 

He winked once to the pitcher—seven fect of thick bamboo— 

Then took some smoke he never saw. The umpire said, “Strike two!” 


“Stop!” yelled child psychiatrists, “before he's traumatized!” 
“It's bad enough,” cried medicos, “that he was circumcised!” 
But Geofitey’s nimble fingers twitched. A furrow etched his brow. 
A videot savant was he—he'd give no quarter now. 


No sneer appears on Geoffrey's lips; his eyes are Pac-Man blank. 
The Taiwanese grin scrutably, like money in the bank. 

And now the giant pitcher holds the ball and lobs a change, 
And now Geoff's ears blink energy, a sparkle plenty strange. 


Oh! Somewhere in this troubled land, the neon lights are bright, 
Bisexuals are cruising gays, and money’s dust is white. 

The President thinks right makes might, the villains all get cheered; 
їз weirder still in Glendale—Mellow Geoffrey disappeared! 


local shop owners donated flowers, gowns, 
tuxedos and refreshments, and the couple 
marched from the home-economics room 
to the school auditorium, where a science 
teacher performed the ceremony. Without 
benefit of a honeymoon, the couple re- 
turned to class, and teacher Evelyn Hon- 
kala presented all the students with raw 
eggs. “Just like real babies; Honkala s; 
“eggs enter the world nameless, unclothed 
and defenseless.” The kids named their 
eggs, made tiny covers and bonnets for 
them and painted faces and hair on them 
For the remainder of the semester, the stu- 
dents carried egg bassinets to all their 
classes to learn, according to Honkala, 
that “а baby is a 24-hour responsibi 
every day.” Broken eggs, presumably, 
were laid to rest, with bacon for a head- 
stone, near a plot of toast 

How about a sequel this fall: Divorce 
Court and Child Custody? 

0 


Pennsylvania's Merion Square Histori- 
cal Society knows about class. When Jackie 
Os limousine stopped on the way to her 
nephew's wedding, the society chose to 
commemorate the event with a 3'x5" 
plaque. It reads: THIS ROOM WAS HONORED BY 
THE PRESENCE OF JACQUELINE BOUVIER KE 
NEDY ONASSIS ON THE OCCASION OF THE WE! 
DING OF JOSEPH Р. KENNEDY I1 AND SHEILA E 
RAUCH, FEBRUARY THIRD, The sign hangs in 
the women’s rest room at Ray Utz's gas- 
oline station. 


[I 

South Carolina officials received com- 
plaints about a blue-eyed doll called Baby 
Darling that says "Kill Mommy" when its 
pacifier is pulled out of its mouth. The 
doll, manufactured by a Hong Kong com- 
pany, is supposed to just laugh and cry, 
but the officials think that it was tampered 
with before it was imported. 

е 

"The Idaho Humane Society is looking 
for homes and donations for several hun- 
dred semiaquatic rodents that the state 
will otherwise put to death. The Chicago 
Tribune announced it this way: "GROUP 
SEEKS PHILANTHROPIST WHO WILL LEAVE IT TO 
BEAVERS.” 


LOSER TAKES ALL 


Promoters for Muscatine, Iowa's, radio 
station KFMH, tired of all the Toughman 
competitions in local bars, recently spon- 
sored the first Quad Cities Stupid Contest. 
Arm wrestling, punching bags, darts— 
who needs those when you can have a man 
who attaches two strings to his nose for a 
memorable rendition of Dueling Nostrils; a 
group called The Doctors of Impending 
Doom singing Silvis, Silvis to the tune of 
New York, New York; and Drake University 
quarterback Andy Crawford, who was 
first-place loser and $2000 richer for it? 
Dressed in pink tutu, red long johns and 
red-and-white high-tops, he scaled a carp 
accompanied by Tchaikovsky. 


Packed 
With 
Flavor. 


A good measure of tobacco flavor. You taste it the 
moment you light up. 

You taste it with every puff you take. 

Thats what you get with MERIT. 

‘Taste way out of proportion to tar. 
If you smoke for flavor, you'll know. 


Nothing halfway about it. 


MERIT 


© Philip Morris Inc. 193 


И 
| 


S 


Filter 


MA 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
That Cigarette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 


7 mg "чаг," 0.5 mg nicotine av. per cigarette, FEC Report Dec:81 


MUSIC 


ECOND TIME AROUND: His tart, 

sassy first album last year may not 
have generated the same kind of windfall 
profits as the efforts of those other popular 
new tourist attractions Asia and Men at 
Work, but Marshall Crenshaw did manage 
to top several important critics’ polls as 
the most promising new kid on the rock- 
"n"-roll block. 

Naturally, his second LP has been hotly 
anticipated with the kind of great expecta- 
tions that usually spell big pressure. Вис 
over lunch recently, Grenshaw dryly 
admitted, “I wrote most of these new 
tunes two weeks before we had to go into 
the studio, because I really had no desire 
to write before then. Га finally realized 
that the real reason I write at all is to meet 
deadlines, so that then we can go out to 
perform. A main function of my songwrit- 
ing is just to supply the performer in me.” 

Crenshaw’s laissez-faire attitude ob- 
viously works for him, because the new 
album, Field Day, serves up meaty por- 
tions of cconomically constructed songs 
with bittersweet lyrics. The album is rife 
with priceless throwaway lines: “For one 
day with you, 1 would gladly ruin my 
reputation. . . ." But this time out, he's 
also featuring truly big-beat drumming, 
more pungent guitar, even a glimmer of 
vintage rhythm-and-blues, via a velvety 
cover of the Jive Five’s What Time Is It. 

Crenshaw described his style: "I'm a 
fanatic for rock-a-billy, soul music, Phil 
Spector's girl-group sound, the Beatles— 
but I always keep the influences somewhat 
in check when I write. What guides me 
more are things like getting a really good 
rhythmic heartbeat on the bottom of a 
song. Гуе always liked slightly melancholy 
pop songs that stir your emotions, songs 
that have a depth or a meaning to some- 
body, even if it’s just me. For instance, 1 
wrote a song for this album with David 
Weiss of the group Was/Not Was called 
Monday Morning Rock; its about how 
strenuous, physically demanding and un- 


enjoyable most parties are these days; the 
weekend often ends up being more taxing 
than the work week. 

“Tt’s important to me that one of the 
messages in my albums is ‘Co wild.’ I 
don’t like formal, realistic approaches. 
Iggy Pop wrote in his autobiography re- 
cently that good music should be like a 
hallucination, and I agree. If there’s not 
something in a song that stirs your 
imagination or arouses your curi 
then I just don’t want to know about it.’ 

— CRISPIN CIOE 


REVIEWS 


With a title as near perfect as I Hate to 
Wake Up Sober in Nebraska, who really 
needs to hear the song? That and such 
other distinctive titles as Trees in Love and 
My Wife and My Best Friend's Girl lured us 
into We-Ha Music (Mountain Railroad), by 
a self-described “tequila-powered trio” 
from Madison, Wisconsin, called Free Hot 
Lunch. It's a treat: three-part harmonies, 
lilting guitar, mandolin, banjo, sambas 
and mambos. The jacket explains that 
“musicologists identified Wa-Ha as the 
‘Big Wave’ that spawned such diverse 
musical forms as ‘Wis-Mex,’ ‘Rockanorski’ 


HOT 


1. Carlos Santana / Havana Moon 

2. Katia and Marielle Labeque / 
Gladrags 

3. Jim Capaldi / Fierce Heart 

4. NRBQ / Red Rooster 

5. The Waitresses / Bruiseology 


TRUST US 


We're sure that everybody on these 
two lists was trying to follow The 
Kinks’ line of advice “Give the People 
What They Want.” 
were a lot closer to the mark than others. 


and ‘Punk Polka.” This collection of rare 
Wa-Ha recordings has been traced to the 
legendary ‘Cuervo Sessions." Need we 
say more? 

. 

Party Weekend (MCA), by Joe “King” 
Carrasco and the Crowns, is so good that 
we were going to put it in the Trust Us sec- 
tion and be done with it, but the thought 
occurred that the King might need some 
explaining. Joe and the Crowns are basi- 
cally Tex-Mex pub crawlers who have 
been wading in the New Wave surf for 
several albums. The comeback of the 
farfisa organ has helped them win a few 
bookings in smart rock clubs around the 
country, but you just can’t disguise this 
stuff as anything but what it is—polka 
rock. Muy, muy bueno polka rock but polka 
rock nevertheless. But by now, you should 
be ready for it. If you buy only one record 
this month, buy this onc. Aside from its. 
crazy, punkcd-up party cuts, there's a lit- 
tle breakup song with an infectious muted 
calypso rhythm that will stay with you for 


days. 


. 

It was bound to happen: the video 45— 
a video tape that includes two to four 
songs, rather like a 45-rpm record. Sony is 
now marketing a series of such delights 
called Sony Video 45s, and two of the first 
releases arc classics for anyone's rock-vid 
collection; Michael Nesmith's Rio and 
Cruisin’ and Jesse Rac’s Rusha. Both per- 
formers are video pioneers, and these are 
the tapes that established their reputations 
for producing hot video products. The 
Nesmith material originally appeared in 
his Grammy-winning feature Elephant 
Parts. We like this idea. Each tape is sold 
for less than $20, and the price will prob- 
ably go down as time goes on. Also avail- 
able are tapes by Duran Duran, Utopia, 
Todd Rundgren and Bill Wyman. 

б 


We're sorry we didn’t tell you about 
Bobby McFerrin (Elcktra/Musician) sooner. 
"The 1982 debut album somehow got past 


CLASSICS III 


But, as usual, some 


NOT 


1. The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra / 
Hooked on Classics HI 

. Kix / Cool Kids 

Spandau Ballet / True 

Laura Branigan / Branigan 2 

José Feliciano / Romance in the Night 


шю 


PLAYBOY 


Try gold rum— the 
smooth alternative to 
bourbons, blends, Cana- 
dians, even Scotch. The 
first sip will amaze you. 
The second will convert 
you. 

Make sure the rum is 
from Puerto Rico. 

Rum has been made in 
Puerto Rico for almost five 

| centuries. Our specialized 
skillsand dedication have produced rums of exceptional 
dryness and purity. No wonder 86% of therum sold 
in this country comes from Puerto Rico. 


RUMS OF PUERTO RICO 


Aged for smoothness and taste. 


For Iree “Rums o! Puerto Rico’ recipes, write. Puerto Rican Rums. Dept. Р-4, 
1280 Avenue ol the Amercas, NY, NY 10102 © 1982 Government of Puerto fico 


If you're still it's because you 
drinking haven't tasted 
whiskey gold rum 

on the rocks... оп the rocks. 


us and we lost a lot of good listening time. 
We've made up for it lately by playing and 
playing his low-key cover of Van Morri- 
son’s Moondance and his sensational duet 
with Phoebe Snow on Smokey Robinson's 
You've Really Got a Hold on Me. McFer- 
rin's a unique musical adventurer whose 
voice does more than any synthesizer yet 
retains all its human warmth and reso- 
nance. Bobby sings the best guitar/wa-wa- 
pedal intro we've heard since Eric Clapton 
left Cream, yet on his own Feline, he segues 
into a Bill Withers/Lou Rawls smooth 
lyric. The album's tour de force is a 
McFerrin original called Sightless Bird. We 
promise no delay in telling you about his 
next album, due out this fall. 
. 

In 16th Century England, people re- 
ferred to sexual intercourse as the little 
death, the theory being that every time 
you played hide the salami, you ex- 
pended—literally—some of your life 
force. Until recently, jazz fans and collec- 
tors felt the same way about their prized 
older albums: Every spin of that classic 
mid-Fifties Miles or Monk LP took it one 
step closer to the vinyl day of reckoning. 
Steely self-discipline was indicated. 

The first hidebound belief was de- 
molished, of course, by Hef. The second 
condition, jazz inlerruptus, was finally 
cured by Fantasy Records. A decade ago, 
it began Teissuing classic jazz releases as 

“two-fers”—1wo albums for the price of 
one—sparking an explosion of reissues by 
other labels that brought relief to many a 
beleaguered jazzbo 

Now Fantasy has done it again. Its new- 
ly launched Original Jazz Classics series 
consists of 70 LPs from the Riverside and 
Prestige catalogs bearing a $5.98 price tag. 
Packaged with the original-album art and 
liner notes, carefully remastered, the series 
is studded with timeless performances. 
Three early Miles LPs (onc with Sonny 
Rollins and one with Coltrane), early gems 
from Eric Dolphy and Bill Evans, ‘Trane 
with Monk, Rollins with the Modern Jazz 
Quartet, Monk playing Duke Ellington— 
the superlatives pile up as the list goes on. 
Get down to the store and see for yourself. 


SHORT CUTS 

Rick Springfield / Living in Oz (RCA): Star 
of AM and TV, Rick finally sprouted 
whiskers—and it shows nicely in his 
music. 

Martha and the Muffins / Danseparc (RCA): 
Here's proof that there's more to Cana- 
dian rock than Anne Murray and Rush 

Coleman Hawkins and Lester Young / Classic 
Tenors (Doctor Jazz): Re-release of a rare 
conspiracy by the fathers of the tenor sax- 
ophone. True class. 

Jon Butcher Axis (Polydor): Butcher is the 
most liquid, exciting new guitarist we've 
heard this year. You'll be hearing lots 
about this black Alaskan and his dynamite 


debut album. 


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BOOKS 


f Evelyn Waugh had been bitten on 

one leg by Groucho Marx and on the 
other by S. J. Perelman and then locked 
away with a typewriter and no vaccine, he 
might well have produced the complete 
works of Peter De Vries. Asit's turned out, 
we have De Vries himself for that, and in 
his latest, Slouching Towards Kalamazoo (Lit- 
tle, Brown), he sets his wacko, witty voice 
to a rough retelling of Nathaniel Haw- 
thorne's The Scarlet Letter. Except that 
De Vries sets it in the Midwest in the Fif- 
ties instead of in Puritan Boston. And the 
Hester Prynne character is named Maggie 
Doubloon, and when she first appears 
wearing her big red A, it is not in public 
stocks in the village square but on the ba 
cony of a cheap motel—a moment that ii 
spires her to launch a very successful 
‘T-shirt company. There's more, of course, 
than that. Slouching Towards Kalamazoo is 
a beauty. Pour a cup of coffee and enjoy it. 


. 

A young ballplavers hitting streak 
threatens to break Babe Ruth’s home-run 
record, and someone wants to stop him. 
Meet America's newest. detective, Mark 
Renzler, a former player side-lined by an 
eye injury. Dead in Center Field (Ballantine) 
has its share of characters: a corrupt 
commissioner, a greedy owner, assorted 
politicians and hoodlums. And, oh, yeah, 
beautiful dames. The plot is the proper 
mix of minutiae, improbabilities and sar- 
casm. It’s a delight. And we're not saying 
that because one of PLAYsOY's own PR 
men—Paul Engleman—wrote it. If we 
were to let him know just how much we 
liked this first novel, he'd be impossible to 
work with. 


б 

Robert А. Nowlan’s The College of Trivial 
Knowledge (William Morrow) is (A) the 
best, toughest and most intelligent gener- 
al-trivia book in five years; (B) the most 
infuriating curriculum in the country, 
since all categories are divided into B.A., 
M.S. and Ph.D. levels, but Nowlan refuses 
to tell you how many correct answers it 
takes to earn each degree; (C) the only 
place you're likely to run into Alley Oop, 
Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis, 
Nebuchadnezzar and decidophobia (the 
fear of making decisions); or (D) all of the 
above. Decidophiles will love it. 


. 

Two small things changed Robert C. 
Mason's view of the supposedly evil and 
primitive Vietnamese he was fighting. One 
was a water wheel in the Kim Son valley, a 
wheel 25 feet in diameter and beautifully 
constructed, made of only bamboo and 
palm fronds—no glue, no caulking, just 
ellicient fitting and weaving. The other 
was the tool chest of a master carpenter 
that Mason found in a hurriedly aban- 
doned hooch, a tool chest neatly filled with 
planing blades and carving implements. 


The Scarlet Letier retold. 


New fiction by Peter De 
Vries and Thomas Berger; 
Vietnam from the chopper seat. 


Memories of ‘Nam from the air. 


“I had never heard of a gook . . . who did 
anything but eat rice and shit and fight un- 
ending wars? Mason writes in Chick- 
enhawk (Viking), his memoir of his year as 
a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. ""These tools 
and the water wheel convinced me that 
there was a successful way of life going on 
around us, but all we saw were sav- 
ages.” A veteran with more than 1000 
combat missions under his belt, Mason 
shows us what it was like to fly choppers 


on a constant basis in a war that was crazy 
and deadly. He takes us from his first days 
of training through the rough year of ac- 
tion to a sad cpilog set in the present. 
Simply told, honest, detailed, dramatic, 
outstanding! 

. 

Had Thomas Berger's latest novel, The 
Feud (Delacorte / Seymour Lawrence), 
appeared on The Tonight Show, it would 
have been as one of those guys who spends 
a week setting up 10,000 dominoes 
in complex patterns, the whole thing going 
off like fireworks when the first one is 
flicked. The first domino to kick off 
The Feud is a seemingly innocent Dag- 
wood act: Dolf Beeler walks into a hard- 
ware store in a neighboring small town to 
buy some paint stripper. He gets into an 
argument with the owner's son: the owners 
ratlike cousin pulls a gun on him; and we're 
off, one unhappy turn booting the next in 
the butt until the feud has spread through 
two communities, ruined lives and careers 
and left a few people dead or wounded— 
a black-comic lesson in bad karma if ever 
there were one. Berger writes with fond- 
ness and understanding of the Ohio Valley 
not-quite-white trash who people his novel 
and even manages to pull offa Romeo and 
Juliet subplot amid all the feudin’, fightin’ 
and a-fussin’. The Feud is good fun. 

б 

If you're weary of stories about unreal 
people who jog faithfully, dine whole- 
somely and live superbly, pick up Andre 
Dubus’ collection of short fiction The Times 
Are Never So Bed (Godine). His characters 
are an ordinary lot of smokers and beer 
drinkers, of waitresses and laborers. The 
odds are good that his working-class char- 
acters will remind you of people you know; 
they are even better that his intense and 
elegantly told stories will touch you. 


BOOK BAG 


Sometimes They Bite (Arbor House), by 
Lawrence Block: The author of the very 
successful Matthew Scudder mystery 
novels and the Bernie Rhodenbarr burglar 
books presents a collection of early short 
fiction, including the debut appearances of 
Scudder and Rhodenbarr, two of our favor- 
ite heroes. 

Writers! Fighters and Other Sweet Scientists 
(Andrews & McMeel) is a collection of 
boxing pieces by one of the nation’s 
best sports columnists, John Schulian. 
Although written on deadline with one eye 
on the clock, these stories are as elegant as 
anything that’s come along since A. J. 
Liebling raised ring writing to an art. 

El Vago (Atheneum), by PLAYBOY Con- 
tributing Editor Laurence Gonzales: A 
bloody fiction about the Mexican revolu- 
tion, inspired by tales the author heard 
from his grandfather. 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


COMPARED wrrH the mediocre competition 
(sce Spacehunter, reviewed below), Return 
of the Jedi (Fox) is another rousing enter- 
tainment in George Lucas’ nine-part epic 
derived from Star Wars. After this, the 
third film of the middle trilogy, he'll go 
back to the very beginning of the Star Wars 
legend, which has already made movie his- 
tory. In its script, Return of the Jedi falls a 
bit short of its predecessors, and director 
Richard Marquand hasn't quite got 
Lucas’ magic touch. But it’s pretty breath- 
taking as outer-space adventures go. Who 
doesn't want to know the ultimate fate of 
Darth Vader or witness the efforts of Luke 
Skywalker, Han Solo and Princess Leia 
(played by Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford 
and Carrie Fisher, in case you've been in a 
cultural coma for the past six years) to 
avert a galactic catastrophe? Joining Yoda, 
Chewbacca, and C-3PO in Jedi 
catalog of creatures are a fat, froglike bad 
guy named Jabba the Hutt and some 
Squat, fuzzy-wuzzy warriors known as 
Ewoks, whose cuddlesome charms may 
eclipse E.T.'s. Like his friend Steven Spiel- 
berg, Lucas continues to make movie; 
the kind of innocent, awe-struck pl 
it used to be when we were all light-years 
younger. ¥¥¥ 


б 

Computer-age cinema brightens u 
siderably with John Badham’s ex 
ing and timely WarGomes (MGM/UA). 
This, plus the current Blue Thunder, 
should add luster to Badham’s reputation 
as a savvy commercial director. An ing 
ious screenplay by Lawrence Lasker and 
Walter F. Parkes takes us shivering toward 
apocalypse when a precocious high school 
boy (young Matthew Broderick, scoring 
again after his debut in Max Dugan Re- 
turns) inadvertently orders World War 
Three. The lad's deadly weapon, of 
course, is the home computer he generally 
uses for all sorts of domestic mischicf. But 
once he plugs into our NORAD missile 
codes, hell breaks loose, and WarGames 
makes the most of it. It's moralistic and 
stretches logic a bit, but it’s consistently 
gripping. There's fine support by Ally 
Sheedy as a plucky teenaged confidante 
and by John Wood and Dabney Coleman 
as a couple of the grownups responsible for 
creating the Frankenstein-monster comput- 
er that won't be called off. Terr 


Richard Pryor pla 
genius manning computers in the jumbled 
plot of Superman Ш (Warner). Despite 
Pryor's help and director Richard Lester's 
famous flair for sight gags, this scries has 
begun to show signs of strain. Still glo- 
riously square as a Superman on the 
skids—drunken, horny, unshaved, undone 
by his depraved alter ego—Christopher 


Jedi jazzman in Jabbass lair. 


Summer fun with Jedi, 
Superman; thrilling 
WarGames, sexy Breathless. 


Kaprisky, Gere strike sparks in Breathless. 


Reeve courts Annette O'Toole and beds a 
sexy villainess (Pamela Stephenson) who's 
in league with an evil computer tycoon 
(Robert Vaughn). All familiar, flyaway 
fun but seldom truly airborne. YVV2 

. 


No remake of Breathless, however fine or 
cleverly finagled, can avoid comparison 
with Jean-Luc Godard's original. Made in 
1959, Godard's first feature was a seminal 
existential film of the French New Wave— 
with Jean-Paul Belmondo blazing to in- 
ternational stardom as a petty crook, a 
murderous but amiable mugger who has a 
kind of crush on Humphrey Bogart. Play- 


ing his amoral companion, an American 
student who casually betrays him, Jean 
Seberg had the best role of her career. 
Reset in modern Los Angeles and its en- 
virons as a superstar turn for Richard 
Gere, the new Breathless (Orion) has lost 
its aesthetic and intellectual cool, Even so, 
Gere delivers another tour de force, look- 
ing doomed and dangerous as a cop killer 
on the lam, with winsome French discoy- 
ery Valerie Kaprisky as an exchange stu- 
dent who's majoring in architecture. Their 
love scenes are hotter and barer than those 
in Godard’s film, if not quite so incendiary 
as the advance publicity led one to 
expect. By way of updating, director Jim 
McBride (an alumnus of the Sixties und: 
ground-movie movement) has made the 
Gere character a jittery psychopath whose 
idols are the singer Jerry Lee Lewis and a 
comic-strip hero called the Silver Surfer. 
He's also got Gere and Kaprisky making it 
behind the screen of a trashy B-movie 
house showing Gun Crazy. That's reaching 


for it. McBride's Breathless does a lot of 


reaching. The good news is that the hun! 


revved-up world of L.A, 1983 depicted 


here has a bristling life of its own—h 
kinetic and exciting enough to hold aud 
ences whose memories don't stretch back 
two dozen years. ¥¥¥ 

. 

Something exciting has to happen when 
one of the screen’s hottest sex symbols en- 
tices a truly great movie actor in a modern 
classic fairly seething with lust, human 
comedy and primitive passion. ‘The per- 
formi of course, are Brazil's steamy 
Sonia Braga and the matchless Marcello 
Mastroianni, The vehicle is Gabriela (UA 
Classics), adapted from a Jorge Amado 
novel that made Braga a superstar in an 
earlier incarnation as a ТУ scrics for home 
consumption in Brazil. Director Bruno 
Barreto (whose Dona Flor and Her Two 
Husbands brought world-class celebrity to 
Sonia) has considerably more plot here 
than one small, sun-baked movie romance 
can actually hold. What you need to note 
and remember is the relationship between 
a local bar owner known as Na. the 
Arab (Marcello) and the muddy, un- 
scrubbed native beauty (Sonia) he hires 


as his cook, little dreaming how she 
will churn up his settled existence. Doin’ 
what comes naturally Gabriela’s 


personal code, and that kind of sponta- 
neous sensuousness is Braga’s stock in 
trade. She's irresistible (see Roving Eye, 
page 201, for proof) and makes Gabriela 
her own against formidable odds, since 
the director, the screenplay itself and the 
camerawork secm conscientiously orches- 
trated as a star ti for Mastroiani 
Shambling and scintillating at the same 
time, he takes over but never quite lets 
the chemistry with his co-star slip away- 
that would be madness. Gabriela is slight, 


33 


PLAYBOY 


DO YOU SEE A PRACTICAL CAR 
OR A PERFORMANCE CAR? 


Take a close look at this 
inkblot. 

We'd like to ask you a 
few questions about what 
you see. 

Do you see power 
or economy? 

A powerful engine and 
an economical engine are 
mutually exclusive con- 
cepts, right? In the case of 
Saab, the answer is a defin- 
itive “not necessarily’ 

Consider Saab’s APC 
Turbo. On the one hand, 
its 0-60 acceleration will 
leave dust on the wind- 
shields of BMWs and 
many other “performance” 
cars. Or as the usually re- 
served New York Times 
put it: “When the [A. PC.] 
turbo cuts in, there is a 
sensation of soaring, of 
gathering yourself up and 
flying faster with such a 
rush of adrenaline and no 
end in sight” 

Yet all this power and 
exhilaration are achieved 
with better gas economy* 
than the old fuel-frugal 
Volkswagen Super Beetle. 


Do you see а 
suspension system designed 
Jor racing or for safety? 
Over the years, Saab 


has built up quite an im- 
pressive record on the 
international rally circuit. 
Their drivers give much 
of the credit to Saab’s 
double-wishbone sus- 
pension and front-wheel 
drive system, which allow 
Saab to maneuver and 
take comers as well as a 
sports car. (We would say 
better than a sports car, 
since Saab regularly 
beats sports cars in such 
events.) 

If you don't happen to 
have racing in your blood, 
you might notice the more 
practical applications of 
front-wheel drive and taut 
suspension. Like helping 
you safely through the first. 
snowfall.Or the last rainfall. 


Do you see a car 
designed for holding the 
road or for holding 
luggage? 

Before Saab engineers 
designed cars, they were 
designing airplanes. So its 
not surprising that Saab 
was one of the first cars to 
utilize the aerodynamic 
hatchback design. 

To some Saab owners, 
its another contributing 
factor to their cars’ superb 


handling characteristics. 
To others, its beena 
legitimate excuse to 
postpone indefinitely the 
purchase of that unre- 
lentingly utilitarian device 
—the station wagon. 
(Saab's hatchback design 
affords its owners the 
carrying capacity of a 
station wagon—56.5 cubic 
feet of luggage space in 
the 3-door model.) 
1983 SAAB PRICE** 
900 3-door . . 
900 4-door ...... 
900S 3-door . . 
900S 4-door . . . $13,950 
900 Turbo 3-door . . . ‚.. -$16,510 
900 Turbo 4-door .............%16,910 
Automatic transmission $370 additional. 


IST 
$10,750 

$11,050 
«$13,550 


Back to square one. 

If you're still undecided 
as to whether you see a 
practical car or a perfor- 
mance car, don’t worry. 

Saab’s version of the 
Rorschach test is much 
like the real one. Any an- 
swer is correct. 

While our version may 
not reveal your personality 
traits, instinctual drives, or 
hidden neuroses, it should 
reduce any anxieties you 
might have about buying 
a Saab. 


The most intelligent car ever built. 


"Saab 900 5-speed APC Turbo: (2)ЕРА estimated mpg, 34 estimated hightcay mpg. Use estimated mpg for comparison only. Mileage varies with speed, trip length and weather 
Actual highway mileage will probably be less. ** Manufacturer’ suggested retail prices. Not including taxes, license, freight, dealer charges or options. There are a limited number of 
turbo models available with Saabs Exclusive Appointments Group, which includes: leather upholstery, fog lights, front console and electric sunroof, at additional cost. 


PLAYBOY 


charming and spirited, even though it falls 
short in comparison with those virtuoso 
comic duets that Marcello and Sophia. 
Loren used to play to the hilt. ¥¥% 

. 


A timid college professor who lectures 
on chivalry stumbles into Chicago's under- 
world and soon finds himself moonlighting 
as a bogus master mobster called Doctor De- 
жой (Universal). He also enlists a fetching 
quartet of party girls (Donna Dixon, Fran 
Drescher, Lydia Lei and Lynn Whitfield) 
to help him fight a big, bad gangster lady 
known as Mom (Kate Murtagh). Based on 
a brain storm by Bruce Jay Friedman, 
who helped write the screenplay directed 
by Michael Pressman, Detroit is a runaway 
comic vehicle for Dan Aykroyd, among the 
funnier alumni of Saturday Night Live. 
Howard Hesseman ( Johnny Fever of TV’s 
WKRP in Cincinnali) lends support, too; 
yet all their hip city slickery never quite 
gels. The curse of television scene stealers 
when they hit the big screen is a kind of 
self-congratulatory air—as if an audience 
ought to roll in the aisles on faith, having 
learned during prime time how hilarious 
these comics can be. Director Pressman 
compounds the problem by assuming that 
loudness and speed are adequate substi- 
tutes for style, and Aykroyd has to work 
hard—often too hard—to sustain the 
frenetic pace. Considering the fact that his 
stairway to movie stardom thus far in- 
cludes such rickety missteps as 1941, The 
Blues Brothers and Neighbors, Га call Doc- 
tor Detroit а mild upswing for Aykroyd. VV 

б 


Moviedom's technical wizards are still а 
long way from perfecting 3-D, according to 
the evidence afforded in Spacehunter (Co- 
lumbia), subtitled “Adventures in the For- 
bidden Zone.” This tongue-in-cheek 
melodrama, at the screening I attended 
(dutifully donning my throwaway glasses 
to get zapped by the special effects 
bounced off the screen at regular inter- 
vals), looked more like a mud-in-your-eye 
imitation of Star Wars—but, of course, 
with a comic slant borrowed from Raiders 
of the Lost Ark. The damned glasses were 
only a shade less annoying than the pic- 
ture as a whole, in which Peter Strauss 
plays a futuristic trouble shooter trying to 
rescue three female astronauts who have 
crashed on a hostile miniplanet. There he 
encounters another comely Earther (Molly 
Ringwald), his side-kick for an onslaught 
of slam-bam-pow skirmishes directed by 
the usually capable Lamont Johnson. 
Spacehunter’s humor is finally crushed by 
the weight of high-tech tricks and hard- 
ware. VV. 

б 

Watching Velley Girl (Atlantic) is some- 
thing like paying a brief, frenzied visit to 
another planet. The Valley, of course, is 
the San Fernando, where the Reagan era 
appears to have encouraged a new, nitwit 
breed of conservative teenagers—looking 
preppie and going to proms within a 
stone's throw of downtown L.A. or deca- 


Aykroyd and 3-D still 
looking for the big hit, 
but a train robber scores. 


Spacehunter: Gadgetry's not enough. 


ue 


Wan V 
Grey Fox doing what he does best. 


dent West Hollywood. In this tolerant, 
good-natured satire directed by Martha. 
Coolidge (screenplay by Wayne Crawford 
and Andrew Lane, who also coproduced), 
a Hollywood punk with a touch of purple 
in his hair is so out—like, totally 
alien—to a Valley girl, he's, like, tragic. 


Not like the bitchin’ local boys who can 
borrow Dad's Mercedes. And there, 
buried in jargon, lies the entire plot, with 
winsome Deborah Foreman as the girl, a 
latter-day suburban Juliet whose hangdog 
Hollywood Romeo is engagingly played by 
Nicolas Cage (an appealing newcomer 
who prefers not to mention that he’s Fran- 
cis Ford Coppola’s nephew). Music by 
such groups as The Clash and Men at 
Work provides lively accompaniment for 
these updated social studies—a little too 
mild at times for my taste but a pleasant 
exercise in culture shock even so. There’s 
more snap when Frederic Forrest and Col- 
leen Camp upstage the kids as Deborah's 
aggressively indulgent parents—a couple 
of pot-smoking late-Sixties leftovers who 
cannot quite fathom that their charming 
daughter is a square or, God help us, a 
chilling reincarnation of Gidget. ¥¥¥% 
б 


Winning is the word for The Grey Fox 
(UA Classics), showered with Canadian 
Genie awards—north of the border, 
they're akin to Oscars—in virtually every 
major category. Richard Farnsworth, cited 
for best performance by a foreign actor, is 
a grizzled American veteran of hundreds 
of movies, here playing his first leading 
role as Bill Miner, gentleman thief. A 
Canadian folk hero of some renown, Miner 
held up stagecoaches in the U.S. during 
the late 19th Century, served 33 years in 
San Quentin and was sprung into а brand- 
new century in 1901. In this film, by 
screenwriter John Hunter and director 
Phillip Borsos (both of whom won bests in 
their categories), Miner begins to adapt to 
modern times after he sees that 1903 silent 
classic, The Great Train Robbery, bungles 
one attempt to emulate it, escapes to Brit- 
ish Columbia, then scores a big first with a 
$7000 haul from the Canadian Pacific 
Railway. The law gets on him just as he 
seems ready to settle down with a feisty 
small-town lady photographer (Jackie 
Burroughs). There are lots of nice wry 
touches in Grey Fox, all beautifully under- 
stated by Farnsworth and given a distinc- 
tive period style by Borsos, Don't expect 
pell-mell excitement reel by reel. Few 
movies about high adventure are so reflec- 
tive, personal and low-key. ¥¥¥ 


MOVIE SCORE CARD- 
capsule close-ups of current films L | Q U e IN E 3 | It A iL | A N © 


Tuaca. Among its exquisite tastes one can perceive a whisper 


by bruce williamson 


Angele, My Love Gypsies do their of vanilla and a kiss of orange. Very Italian and completely delicious. A golden 
thing, directed by Robert Duvall. УУ amber liqueur with a rich aroma and bouquet that pleases the senses. 

The Black Stallion Returns Plucky boy Tuaca. About $15 the bottle 
loses horse to Arab nagnapers. БЫ 

Blue Thunder Scheider in the sky 
with chopper, hell-bent v 


Breathless (Reviewed this month) OK. 
if you missed Seberg, Belmondo. ¥¥¥ 
Doctor Detroit (Reviewed this month) 
Another warm-up for Dan Aykroyd. VY 
Exposed The real excitement is 


watching Nastassia Kinski Wy 
Fanny & Alexander Ingmar Bergman 
mellowing very well Wy 
Flashdance — Box-ollice fireworks; 
trendy but empty v 


The Flight of the Eagle Chilling arctic 
adventure, with Max von Sydow. ¥¥¥ 
Gabriela (Reviewed this month) Tor- 


rid Braga and Mastroianni Wy 
Gandhi A must even before they gave 
it a great bundle of Oscars WY 


The Grey Fox (Reviewed this month) 
The Canadian prizes went to this bio of 


a legendary jailbird. УУУ 
Heads or Tails Noiret and Serrault as а 
flaky, very French odd couple. УЗ 


The Hunger Deneuve, Sarandon and 
Bowie as a très chic trio of vampires. ¥¥ 
Local Hero Burt Lancaster as an oil ty- 
coon buying a village in Scotland. УУУ 
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life 
Gross, grand, damnably funny. УУУ 
Out of the Blue Pure punk melodr: 
by Dennis Hopper, with Linda Manz a 
memorable teenaged troll wy 
The Personals Love on wheels in 
Minncapolis Ww 
Querelle Genet done a bad шгп in 
Fassbinder’s swan song. Y 
Return of the Jedi (Reviewed this 
month) The saga continues apace. ¥¥¥ 
The Return of Martin Guerre France's 
ace Gerard Depardieu in odd, engross- 


ma 


ing historical drama. vy 
Say Amen, Somebody Top soul singers 
belting out Gospel truth. YYY 


Spacehunter (Reviewed this month) 
Spoofing astropics in murky 3-0. — XY 
Superman Ш (Reviewed this month) 
Is ita bird, a plane—or Pryor? ¥¥% 
Tender Mercies Duvall in fine form as 
а faded country-and-westem star. ¥¥¥ 
To Begin Again Oscars benign but 
boring choice as best foreign film. УУ 
La Traviata Zellirelli's filmed opera is 
so opulent, you may not miss the Garbo 


version known as Camille. yvy 
Twice upon a Time An adult cartoon 
fcature. Ww 


Valley Girl (Reviewed this month) The 
return of saddle shoes and proms. УЖ 

WarGames (Reviewed this month) 
Computer whiz unleashes the 


Nukes. Ws 
¥¥¥ Don't miss ¥¥ Worth a lock 
¥¥¥ Good show ¥ Forget it THE SOLID GOLD SOUND 


Quality Receivers, Cassette Decks, Turntables, Loudspeakers, Car Stereo, 
Stereo Video Recorders, Digital Audio Disc 
(61981 MARANTZ СО. INC 


PLAYBOY 


38 


If any pro ed 
camera beats the 
Pentax Super Program, 
we'll buy it for you. 


Frankly, the chances of finding a 
programmed camera that beats the 


new Pentax Super Program in the 
features test at the right are down- 
right nil. We scrutinized and analyzed 
every programmed camera sold in 
3 the U.S.A. today. Not one 
measures up to all these 
advantages of the Super 
Program and the state 
of the art now. 
No other brand of 
programmed camera 
gives you these six 
ways to shoot: Pro- 
grammed, aperture 
priority, shutter priority, 
metered manual, pro- 
` grammed auto flash 
~ and TTL auto flash. With 
ИГ. е Pentax Super Program, 
. you can select the mode that best 
suits your shot. You can change 
modes at will. Take the easiest 
approach to the perfect picture. Or, 
the most creative. 

No programmed camera in the 
world delivers more information to the 
viewfinder. Your eye stays on the shot 
while the exclusive LCD digital display 

inthe Super Program viewfinder 

keeps you informed and in control. 
The Pentax Super Program's 

Ех | 1/2000th shutter speed is twice as fast 


as any other programmed camerds. 


The flash sync is faster, at 1/125th. The 
hand-held programmed exposure 
range is wider. The advantages of this 
state of the art programmed camera 
goon. And beyond any other brand cf 
programmed carnera on the market. 
Butifyou can find a camera that 


other 


meets all and exceeds one or more 
features of the Pentax Super Program 
listed below, don't be shy. Let us know. 
Wel send you the retail price of 
that camera. 

Which you may well spend on a 
new Pentax Super Program after all. 


grammed cameras with 
the new Pentax Super Program here. 


Programmed Programmed Programmed Programmed 
Camera 


Shutter Cocked Indicator 


October 31, 1983. 


Magic Needle Film Loading 


Automatic Fast Shutter 
when Loading 


| Your Name 


Film Motion Indicator 


| Address 


ау 


Pentax Camera Camera Camera 
Super j: Brand: Brand: Brand: 
Program Model: Model: Model: Model: 
Брезе оар: Y 
Aperture Priority di 
Shutter Priority Va 
Metered Manual М2 
Programmed Ашо Flash 
TTL Auto Flash Ma 
Marval Mode м 
Viewfinder Data 23 
{All modes combined) Items 
Battery-Saving LCD Viewfinder 
Readout ov Complete this chart with 
pe eee the features of any other 
4X, 2X, EX, 4X Exposure brand of programmed 
Compensation 4 camera sold at retail in 
Exposure Compensation the U.S.A. as of May 1, 
in Viewfinder м^ 1983. If you can find a 
Light for Viewfinder Display м” camera that meets all 
LCD External Readout | and exceeds one or 
Depth of Field Preview wt more features of the 
Metal Shutter Pentax Super Program 
17200011 Second = listed here, we'll buy it for 
Gigs sies м^ you. (One carnera per 
Pushbutton Shutter Control A customer.) Offer expires 
№2 
س‎ 
м” 
ص‎ 


1/125th Second Flash 
Sync Speed 


[2] 


Flash Distance, Program 
Mode (ASA/100 Film) 


у 
28 


State Zip 
t П 
Phone 


Aperture Display in View- 
finder, Рат. Flash Mode 


An exclusive U.S.A. two-year limited warranty/ 
product registration covers the Pentax Super 


NN 


Audible and Visual 
Flash Confirmation 


Program Body. Warranties apply only lo pro- 
duis onginally distributed inte United 
‘States by Pentax Corporation, 35 Inverness 
Drive East, Englewood, CO. 


PENTAX 
SUPER PROGRAM 


©1983 Pentax Corporation, 35 Inverness Drive Englewood, СО 80112. 


TELEVISION 


By TONY SCHWARTZ 


BEAR WITH ME for a moment. 

On one side, we've got our plaintiff 
Dennis Frazier, a huge man with a Fu 
Manchu mustache. On the other side is our 
defendant, Conrad Bergesson, a craggy- 
faced, emaciated-looking fellow. 

Bergesson, we learn, is the owner of K-9 
Behavioral Consultants. That is a fancy title 
for dog trainer. Frazier, it seems, hired K-9 
to teach obedience to Rusty, the sloe-eyed 
Doberman zt his side. His complaint, he 
tells Judge Joseph A. Wapner, is that while 
he paid K-9 $250, his dog “has never come, 
never to this day, except when you bribe 
him with food.” 

Bergesson's turn follows. “May I please 
the court to have a minute?” he asks, and 
then proceeds to demonstrate that trusty 
Rusty responds just fine to his commands. 
The real problem, he tells the judge, is that 
Frazier has spent no time practicing with 
Rusty on his own, And for that sort of be- 
havior, Bergesson's contempt is undis- 
guised. “A man has no time for his dog,” he 
says, "then I have no time for him." 

It was midwinter, and I had just flipped 
on the television set in my Midwest hotel 
room when I was plunged unexpectedly 
into this gripping courtroom drama. Tele- 
vision doesn't surprise me often, but this 
was an exception. My first thought was, 
These guys сап? be serious. My next 
thought was, Who could make up this sort 
of stuf? And then, Why would anyone 
want to make this stuff up? And, finally, If 
this is so preposterous, how come I can’t 
take my eyes off the tube? 

Apparently, I'm not the only one who 
was put off —and then drawn in. The Peo- 
ple's Court, now carried оп 151 stations 
across the country, has, in just two years, 
become one of the most popular shows in 
syndication. But for seven years before that, 
its producers sought unsuccessfully to sell 
their deceptively simple concept: a show 
based on real-life cases from small-claims 
court. 

Brandon Tartikoff, president of NBC's 
entertainment division, was onc of the early 
nonbelievers. “The whole thing seemed,” 
he remembers ruefully, “like such schlock.” 

But exactly, Brandon! 

For better or for worse, The People's Court 
is the realest show on television. More real 
than Real People. More incredible than 
That’s Incredible. As grim and gritty, as taw- 
dry and trivial, as proud and prickly as your 
average, everyday American. 

There's the outraged mother of the bride 
who refuses to pay $520 to a band that 
showed up an hour late for her daughter's 
wedding—minus a keyboard player. ( Judg- 
ment to the band of $225.) Or the owner of 
a telegram stripper service suing to get her 
$100 fee from the woman who bought a tele- 
gram as a present for her boyfriend and 


Courtroom drama, 
the perfect show 
for daytime TV. 


then refused to pay because the stripper 
peeled down only to bikini underwear 
rather than toa G string. ( Judgment for the 
owner.) 

"To ferret out these bizarre tales, the pro- 
ducers sift through the small-claims cases 
filed in some 20 courts around Los 
Angeles. Then they phone the most in- 
teresting-sounding people. In exchange for 
dropping their court actions and agreeing 
to have them settled on television, the 
plaintiff and the defendant are offered a 
minimum payment and a chance to plead 
their cases before a national audience: 
As in California small-claims court, a win- 
ning plaintiff on The People's Court stands to 
get whatever he sued for up to $1500. Unlike 
small-claims court, if the finding is for the 
defendant, each party receives $250 just for 
appearing. 

The Peoples Court represents daytime 
television distilled to its essence. Prime time 
trafics mostly in glamorous escapism. 
Daytime, filled with game shows, soap 
operas and talk shows, has always featured 
people more preoccupied by everyday hopes 
and fears. The folks on The People's Court 
certainly fill that bill. To watch the show is 
to feel relieved that however bad your trou- 
bles may be, they're not as bad as the ones 
you're watching. At the same time, you 
can't help choosing sides, to cheer for your 
favorite and to wish the worst for the other 
side. 

I's precisely that dual appeal—the 
chance to feel superior and to identify at 
the same time—that fueled a whole 
genre of successful daytime shows. The ex- 
amples abound: Queen for a Day, Strike It 


Rich, The Big Payoff, This Is Your Life and 
the granddaddy of them all, Truth or Con- 
sequences, which ran for ап unmatched 34 
years. 

Thus, it's no surprise that the man re- 
sponsible for half of those shows—includ- 
ing Truth or Consequences—is now an 
executive producer of The People’s Court. 
“The beautiful thing about this show,” says 
Ralph Edwards, who at the age of 70 retains 
the enthusiasm of a true believer, 
“is that the people forget they're on televi- 
sion. They really do.” 

Credit for the no-nonsense atmosphere 
on The People's Court is due in large part to 
its star: Judge Wapner. At first glance, 
Wapner seems so much like one's fantasy of 
a judge—silvery hair, stentorian voice, stern 
manner—that it’s hard to believe he’s the 
real thing. But then, what actor playing a 
judge would berate gumchewers in his tele- 
vision courtroom, bristle at their bad gram- 
mar and wander off occasionally on csotcric 
points of the law? 

As it happens, Joc Wapner did attend 
Hollywood High, but he is also every bit a 
judge—a past president of the California 
‘Judges Association who retired three years 
ago, at the age of 60, after two decades on 
municipal- and superior-court benches. Yet 
somehow, he manages to treat his new role 
as seriously as he did his old one. “There 
was one show," he remembers, “where I 
continued a case for 30 days. It was a 
paternity suit over a horse, and I ordered a 
blood test. The producers were a little bit 
annoyed, but I said to them, ‘Just let me do 
my job and you try to figure out how to fit it 
into a program.” 

Indeed, Wapner barely seems to notice 
that he's in show business. Sure, he's rec- 
ognized now in airports, is asked to speak 
to law students at Yale and carns more 
money than he ever did before. But he 
has turned down a guest shot on The 
Love Boat and has declined innumerable 
offers to sign autographs at shopping 
centers—even though he's been offered 
what he describes as “sums you wouldn't 
believe." 

"I'm a judge,” 
actor." 

It's because Wapner believes that so fer- 
vently that he makes us overlook the prc- 
posterousness of the cases he considers. Five 
timesa weck, Wapner rewards real-life good 
guys and punishes real-life bad guys. He's 
in the business of distinguishing between 
right and wrong, and he's genuinely good at 


says the judge, "not an 


T realized hov strong a lure at the end of 
the first show I watched, after he returned 
from his chambers and a commercial 
break to render his decision in the case of 
“The Undisciplined Doberman.” 

When Wapner found for my guy— 
Bergesson, the craggy-faced dog trainer— 
1 burst into applause. 


PLAYBOY 


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xx COMING ATTRACTIONS >‹ 


By JOHN BLUMENTHAL 


IDOL GOSSIP: Dino De Lourentiis’ long-delayed 
remake of Mutiny on the Bounty is finally 
under way, with Australian star Mel (The 
Year of Living Dangerously) Gibson as 
Fletcher Christian and Anthony Hopkins as 
Captain Bligh. Based on a script by Robert 
Bolt, the film (called simply Bounty) is cur- 
rently shooting in New Zcaland and Tahiti 
and at Cape Horn. . . . Bound to set of a 
flurry of controversy this [all is Costo- 
Govras’ new venture, Hanna, starring Jill 
Clayburgh. In a nutshell, the film's about 
an American lawyer (Clayburgh) resettled 
in Israel who becomes involved both 
professionally emotionally 
Palestinian desirous of returni 
homeland, now Israeli territory. Insiders 
claim the film dramatizes the Palestinian 
position quite poignantly. In the mean- 
time, Universal is kceping a tight lid on 
the project. .. . Craig Y. Nelson, Tom Crui 
and newcomer Lea Thompson star in All the 


and 


Clayburgh 


Right Moves, the tale of a high school 
athlete (Cruise) trying to get a football 
scholarship. "Thompson plays his girl- 
Velson is his coach. . . . Word has it 
that Jon Voight will star in the film adapta- 
tion of William Wharton's best-selling novel 
Рай. . . . Norman Cousins’ autobiographical 
Anatomy of an Illness will be a made-for- 
ТУ movie starring Ed Asner, Eli Wollach and 
M*A*S*H's David Ogden Stiers. Also set 
for TV biopic treatment is the life of Anwor 
Sadat, with Louis Gossett, Jr., in the lead. . . . 
Set for a September start date is Callas 
(Maria, not Charlie), with Sophio Loren 
portraying the late opera star. Ken Russell 
will direct from his own script, . , . Conan 
the Barbarian will undergo the sequel 
treatment with Conan, King of Thieves. 
Arnold Schwarzenegger will return, though 
I'm told that the follow-up will be lighter 
than the original. . . . And Universal re- 
cently announced that Steven Spielberg will 
have some “association” with its produc- 
tion of Schindler's List. Nobody's quite sure 
what that means, but rumor has it he'll be 
cither the gaffer or the grip. 
е 

сою cuts: If 1 were a producer, I'd prob- 
ably describe Universal's [ceman as “a 
cross between Allered States and Woody 
Allen's Sleeper" But I'm not, so I won't. 


Starring Timothy Hutton, Lindsay Crouse and 
Obie winner John Lone, the film is an 
adventure that begins when the body of a 
Neanderthal man (Lone) is found frozen 


Hutton. 


solid in a glacial ice block measuring 
8'x6'x4 Seems hes been freeze-dried in 
there for 20,000 years but, natch, is s 
alive. Hutton. plays Dr. Stanley Shepard, 
an anthropologist who bridges history by 
befriending the chilled cave man. Crouse 
is Dr. Brady, a cryobiologist searching for 
a “cryoprotectant, a sort of antifreeze for 
the living cell structure,” а breakthrough 
that would allow man to live forever as an 
ice cube. Or something. 
е 

CALL ME IRRESISTIBLE: The title role in Blake 
Edwords' The Man Who Loved Women may 
very well be the one Burt Reynolds was born 
to play. Based on François Truffaut's 1977 
classic L'Homme Qui Айай les Femmes 
(Edwards is calling his version an “Amer- 
icanization" rather than a remake), the 
film focuscs on a sculptor named David, a 
paramour extraordinaire who loves all 
women and whose life revolves around 
pursuing them. Seems he's got a certain 
quality of vulnerability that makes him. 
irresistible to the opposite sex. To make a 
long story short, within the film's 90- 


Reynalds 


Andrews. 


minute time span he has about ten айай, 
two of which involve costars Kim Bosinger 
(who plavs a kinky Houston housewife) 
and Marilu (Taxi) Henner. Trouble starts 
when David suddenly realizes that his 
Obsession with women is causing the rest 
of his life to fall into disarray, so, for help. 
he consulis a. psychiatrist, played by Julie 
Andrews. | won't give away the ending, but 
he might have been better olf seeing a male 
shrink. According to insiders, Edwards 
version will be more comedic than Truf- 


faut’s—he sees David as almost an ext 
sion of the Dudley Moore character in "70". 
б 

SNOWDRIFTS: For а nonskier, producer Ed- 
word S. Feldman certainly has made his 
share of ski movies—The Other Side of the 
Mounlain was the first, and now comes 
Hot Dog, a story set against the back- 
ground of world freestyle-championship 
skiing. Starring Dovid (An American Were- 
wolf in London) Neughton, Patrick (En- 
dangered Species) Houser, newcomer Tracy 
N. Smith and our very own Shonnon Tweed, 
the flick involves the rite of passage of a 20- 
year-old Idaho kid (Houser) who heads to 
Squaw Valley to test his skiing skills 
against these of the veterans. Naughton 
plays the experienced but slightly over- 
the-hill champion skier, Smith is cast as an 
independent-minded young drifter and 
Shannon appears as the seductive snow 
queen, a kind of sophisticated ski groupie. 
Hot Dog is directed. by Peter (The Person- 
als) Markle, who happens to be a first-class 


en- 


Naughton 


skier, not to mention a world-class hockey 
player. A late October or early November 
release date i 


Tweed 


set 


° 
INFIDELITY OPUS NUMBER TWO: Spcaking of 
remakes and Dudley Moore, the diminutive 


English actor is currently involved in 
director Howard Жез redo of Preston 
Sturges’ 1948 classic Unjaithfully Yours. 


Dudley plays Claude Eastman, a sym- 
phony conductor who becomes obsessed 
id а bit demented over the notion that 
young wife (Nostossia Kinski) is cheating 
on him with a visiting concert violinist and 
reputed womanizer named Мах Stein 
(Armond Assante). As it turns out, Stein s 
having an affair but not with Dudley’s 
he's actually seeing Dudley's bus 
ness manager's spouse. (Albert Brooks is the 
business manager; Cossie Yates is his un- 
faithful wife.) In the meantime, however, 
Dudley is seriously infected with jealousy 
and fantasizes about murdering his wile— 
one such hallucination takes place while 
he’s conducting the New York Phill 
monic. What appealed to director Zielf. 
about the project was, in his words, that 
"irs a comedy of jealousy and passion 
with the flavor of an Italian movie. It’s 
very European in attitude.” 


Al 


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By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


THE MOVIESTUDIO executive was irritated. 
His eyes had gone opaque behind his 
mauve-tinted glasses. 

“No, honey,” he said to me, “your story 
idea is just fine except for one thing: Audi- 
ences don't want to see a story about a 30- 
year-old woman. This country is turned off 
by women in their 30s—they're all too 
angry, bitter, hostile and mean. What you 
песа is a 23-year-old heroine. That'll sell. 
Check, please, waitress.” 

"The waitress, 34 if she was a day, 
grinned blindingly at him. 

I went home all in a tizzy. Here I was, 
approaching the dread age of bitterness. 
Would I soon begin snarling and stabbing 
random men with knitting needles? Was I 
angry? Was I hostile? What was this god- 
damned movie exec talking about? 

It was time for some serious soul- 
searching. I decided to call my best friend, 
Harry, a man with a head on his shoul- 
ders, a man who, I knew for a fact, really 
liked women. 

“Is this the latest male attitude toward 
women, Harry?" I wailed. “If it is, I can’t 
be responsible for the consequences. 
Women may well take to the streets with 
grenades.” 

“If women did take to the streets with 
grenades,” said Harry, “that would con- 
stitute a relaxation of hostilities. Women 
over 24 are, by and large, absolutely 
furious. Also wrathful, irate, piqued, 
indignant and sore, not to mention 
foul-tempered.” 

Harry was on a roll. 

“They snap at you when you open doors 
for them," he continued. “And then they 
have a fit if you don’t open doors for them. 
They demand a commitment before you're 
through with the salad course on your first 
date. They pour pitchers of cold water 
over you when you're asleep, just for a 
joke. If you say ‘Looks like rain’ to a 
woman, she'll have a seizure and insist 
you're trying to patronize her. Women are 
nightmares, all of them. Even 12-year- 
olds. Even ten-year-olds. But mainly those 
in the 25-to-35-year-old age group. What 
is it with you broads?" 

That unexpected vitriol called for some 
more serious telephoning. I tried Hannah, 
the sweetest girl I know—chcecrful, 
goodhearted and generous, dear Hannah. 

“It’s simple,” she said. “Men are pond 
scum. That’s why we're mad all the time. 
In the past year, I had one man pledge un- 
dying love to me and then take off with a 
pizza waitress a week later. Then I met a 
man who proposed marriage one day and 
told me I was more ready for a commit- 
ment than he was the next. Then there was 
the guy who informed me of his homosex- 
uality after we got into bed and the one 
who kept an assortment of garter belts in a 
brown-paper bag under his bed—stop me 


WHY ARE WOMEN 
SO ANGRY 
ALL THE TIME? 


“Would | soon begin snarling and 
stabbing random men with knitting 
needles? Was | angry? 

Was I hostile?" 


before I burst into tears." 

What's going on here? How did things 
come to such a pretty pass? 

It probably started in the late Sixties, 
when women were becoming feminists. 
Too exciting. We were on a wonderful, 
supportive, far-reaching mission to be 
treated as actual people. First-class citizens 
who were good for more than washing up 
and opening our legs. It was heady stuff, 
thinking ourselves as good as men. It 
bucked up our spirits no end. 

We told men all about our new-found 
selves, and they were terrific. 

"Sure, honey,” they said іп unison. 
“you go out and find yourself. We'll just 
put on the pork chops and diaper the baby 
until you get back. And how did you say 
you wanted your oral sex?” 

It seemed too good to be true and, in 
fact, was. 

Somehow, someway, al some point, men 
just seemed to decide they’d had enough. 

“Never mind!” they shouted, again in 
unison. “Enough with the pork chops and 
the diapering! Enough with trying to find 
the clitoris! We want the old days back!” 

Men had discovered that women’s 


liberation did not mean isolated acts of 
basting chickens and hiring the odd 
woman ог two but, instead, meant that 
actual power would be changing hands. 
Power is more important than sex, more 
compelling than altruism. Nobody gives 
up power without a grim struggle. 

Guys turned mean—admit it. They 
stopped trying to understand and started 
playing Lothario. Some of them went as 
far as to festoon their necks with chains 
and cavort in swingers’ clubs; others set- 
ued for imitating a frightened jack rabbit 
whenever a woman walked into a room. 

Women became despondent. At first, 
they merely put their pillows over their 
heads and refused to get out of bed in the 
morning. Then they escalated to open sob- 
bing on the streets. Then they went whole 
hog and started pouring drinks over every 
malc head in sight. 

And now here we are in 1983, and very 
few of us arc having a good time. The sexes 
are at an impasse. Neither side wants to 
give a millimeter, let alone an inch. 

This will never do. If we want to start 
having a good time with one another again 
(and why else bother to be alive?), then we 
will just have to forfeit inches, feet, yards. 

In fact, why don’t we pretend that we've 
been engaged in one monster football 
game, with each side ripping the other’s 
eyes out and rending limbs from our 
opponents’ bodies? 

Then we could take the metaphor one 
step further and pretend that the game 
ended in a tie and start slapping one 
another on the ass and calling one another 
old buddy and saying we didn’t really 
mean what we said about one another's 
mothers. 

Then the band could come out onto the 
field and we could slip quictly away to the 
locker room and drink champagne. 

I mean, what the hell. Ej 


43 


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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


FRccently, 1 have experienced a sexual 
problem that I haven’t seen discussed be- 
fore I am 24 and very active in sports and 
consider myself in good physical shape 
The problem occurs after I have my first 
orgasm. After the normal waiting period, I 
can attain another erection without any 
problem. However, my sensitivity dimin- 
ishes greatly. It usually takes 25 to 35 min- 
utes before I reach another orgasm. But 
because I am not as sensitive, I sometimes 
have difficulty keeping the erection. I satis- 
fy my partner, because she usually has two 
or three orgasms during the second round, 
but I just don't feel very much in my 
penis and start losing interest because of 
that lack of feeling. Any advice?—J. H., 
Columbia, South Carolina. 

Relax. We've always wondered at the 
clichéed sex scenes in novels in which two 
lovers engage in passionate, roughneck sex 
and then do it a second time with great gen 
Шелезх. Right. Many men lose sensitivity with 
each erection. Masters and Johnson found 
that “when female study subjects were interro- 
gated in the laboratory after multi-orgasmic 
experiences, the second or third orgasmic epi- 
sode was usually identified subjectively as 
more satisfying and more sensually pleasur- 
able than the first orgasmic episode. When 
male study subjects were multi-ejaculatory in 
the laboratory, inevitably the first ejaculatory 
episode was reported as the most satisfying ex- 
perience.” You may require more stimulation 
the second time around, that’s all. Don't get 
caught in the trap that says you have to have 
an orgasm for every erection. As long as you 
and your partner are satisfied, all's well. 


H пас a high-performance motorcycle. As 
winter approaches, I’ve started to think 
about buying a fairing—one of those 
streamlined windscreens that you hang on 
the front of your bike. I’ve looked at all the 
models and I’m baffled. How do you 
choose one?—B. J., Chicago, Illinois. 

All fairings offer protection from the wind, 
but a good European style, also known as a 
sports fairing, can give you a boost in per- 
formance as well. The aerodynamics stream- 
line the bike, adding five to 15 miles to your 
top speed and decreasing fuel consumption by 
as much as 20 percent. The Hannigan Fair 
ing Company (Scarborough, Ontario) took its 
sports fairing into the wind tunnel and came 
up with some interesting figures: To propel а 
bike without a fairing to 100 mph took 46.8 
horsepower; with a fairing, only 43.3 hp. A 
sports fairing also contributes to better han 
dling by providing significant down force on 
the front wheel at speed. The result is greater 
stability. Some people prefer the American 
style, or touring fairing: It tends to have a 
more upright riding position and a higher 


windshield and it uses existing handle bars 
The European style uses café bars and your 
riding position is crouched over. The position 
may look strange, bul aficionados say that it 
is actually more comfortable over the long 
haul (taking strain off the back) and promotes 
better handling. A quality sports fairing can 
cost $300 lo $500, but the increase in han- 
dling may he worth it. 


Í have just had the good fortune of becom- 
ing a born-again divorcé who is enjoying 
life, liberty and the pursuit of the perfect 
ten—maybe eight and а  hall—aft- 
er ten years’ abstinence. I have recently hit 
upon some singles bars, a few of which 
were retakes from Star Wars, where I have 
had some encounters of the worst kind. I 
guess I am not used to the new aggressive- 
ness in women, especially the women who 
can't take “Thanks but no thanks" for an 
answer. My question is, What's the best 
way to puta woman down without coming 
off as an insensitive snot? I have always en- 
joyed being the hunter and am not quite 
used to the game rules today.—C. M., 
Hartford, Connecticut. 

We believe in one simple rule: Treat 
women the way you yourself enjoy being 
treated. If you're nol interested, be polite and 
honest while tactfully expressing your feel- 
ings. You'll save the lady and yourself a lot of 
lime. And regarding your other comments, we 
feel that you can still be the “hunter” if you 
want—but, frankly, we find that attitude 
passé. Leave your bow and arrow at home 
and just concentrate on having a good time 
meeting people. 


МУ, is it there are no ingredients listed 
on the labels of alcoholic products? Are the 


distillers given a special dispensation to 
keep their secrets? How do you know 
whether or not there is anything harmful 
in them?—O, D., Tulsa, Oklahoma. 

One of the last things we want when we re- 
lax with our favorite drink is a long list of 
unpronounceable scientific terms on the label 
to break the mood. But that may soon come to 
an end. The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and 
Firearms has given the liquor industry until 
next February to provide a list of ingredients 
on the label or to provide an address to which 
one can write to find oul the ingredients. The 
reason is that а small number of people are 
affected adversely by some of the additives 
and the gases that are used to make wines and 
liquors and beers. Most of the ill effects, by the 
way, are traceable to heavy imbibing; but 
the danger is there, nevertheless. The fact is, 
the list of ingredients would tell you little 
about the beverage, since the proportions and 
the time of fermentation and other factors 
would not be included. Those are secrets re- 
tained by the bottler. For the majority of the 
population, however, the only harm that 
comes from the botile is a result of abuse of the 
contents, not the contents themselves 


WM have been living with my boyfriend for a 
little more than a year and am becoming 
concerned about his sexual appetite. It 
seems he gets easily aroused, and once he 
becomes aroused, a high degree of anxiety 
sets in that must immediately be relieved 
by ejaculation. He can become aroused 
merely by seeing a provocative female on 
television or in a magazine. When we are 
together, I do not mind relieving him, by 
either masturbation ог fellatio, because I 
love him very much and enjoy giving him 
pleasure. In lovemaking, he can keep an 
aroused posture and reach orgasm two or 
three times in a session. I certainly don't 
mind that at all 

When I was discussing sexual appetites 
with the girls at work one day, they all 
seemed to come to the conclusion that my 
boyfriend is oversexed and should seck 
professional help. It never bothered me 
prior to that discussion, but now I wonder 
how he gets his sexual relief when I am not 
around. He promises faithfulness to me 
and frowns at my suggestion that he mas- 
turbate. When I bring up the issue of his 
being oversexed, he thinks the idea is 
absurd. He claims that the more he uses 
his sexual manhood, the longer he will be 
able to use it. My questions are: Do you 
think he is oversexed? Can this be tem- 
pered?—Miss T. L., New York, New York, 

Don't let something your friends say or 
think affect what seems to be a good rela- 
tionship. We don't think your male friend is 
oversexed. In faci, he sounds healthy and 
normal to us. If you're satisfied with your 


45 


PLAYBOY 


46 


lovemaking sessions, there is no problem. As 
for seeing a professional, well—he could 
turn professional. 


М... 1 rc that you should carry 
traveler's checks when you're away from 
home, there are times when you have to 
have cash. I'll be spending а good deal of 
time in Europe this fall. Can you give me 
any tips on how not to get ripped off?— 
S. T., Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. 

The best way we know to not have anything 
taken is to not have anything. That means 
stripping down to the bare essentials. Before 
you lake off, empty your wallet of all local cred- 
it cards, membership cards and unnecessary 
papers, especially originals (such as your birth 
certificate or photographs). Carry only the 
credentials you intend to use. The same holds 
true for your briefcase, in which things tend to 
accumulate. You're beller off leaving expen- 
sive jewelry al home: rings (except for wedding 
bands); gold chains (try a gold electroplate, if 
you must); watches (put away the Rolex, take a 
Timex); cuff links and tie clasps (especially 
those of sentimental value). If you have a lot 
of traveler's checks, put them in the hotel safe 
until you need to cash one, then carry only the 
amount of cash jou need for the day. Put 
nothing in your hip pockets; carry all valu- 
ables in an inside coat pocket or front pants 
pocket or under your shirt. Before entering a 
crowd, be aware of what you have and where 
you are carrying it. Before yow leave your 
room, take a last look around to see whether or 
not anything has been left out that should go 
into your locked suitcase or the hotel safe. The 
trick is to think like а crook. Say lo yourself, 
"What is here that a crook would want?” 
Don't overlook anything. Alarm clocks, Amer- 
ican jeans, electric shavers and hair driers, 
while not expensive, can be a real nuisance to 
replace. By the way, enjoy your trip. 


ve had this problem since I became in- 
terested in the male sex (I’m 20), and 
while looking through a friend's pLayeoy, I 
thought I'd write to you and ask for 
advice. How does a woman ask a man she 
barely knows, or doesn't even know, out 
for a date? Let me explain my predica- 
ment. I'm a college student and I have be- 
come extremely interested in one of my 
teachers. He is not much older than I, and 
Туе taken several of his classes. Гус liked 
him all along, yet I don't know how to, or 
even if I should, ask him out. I’m not cer- 
tain whether or not he is interested in me, 
so what should I do? Is it all right to ask 
one’s teacher for a date? How do I go 
about doing so? If he says no, what can I 
say? Ive still got to finish his class.— 
Miss K. K., Richmond, Virginia. 

We don't encourage sex in any power rela- 
tionship. There is too much baggage attached 
to the affair to make it work. If you insist, 
wait until the end of the semester—or, beller 
yet, graduation. If there's still a spark when 
you're equals, then go for it. 


Tenniswear has gone through а lot of 
changes lately, and I'm not sure I agree 
with all of them. Гуе seen players dressed 
in T-shirts and purple shorts. Whatever 
happened to the concept of tennis whites? 
I thought they added a certain dignity 
the game. Now the courts look like the cir- 
cus is in town, Aren't there any rules any- 
more?—B. T., San Diego, California. 

Some of the rules in tennis are the same. 
No malter what you wear, you've still got to 
gel the ball over the net. But the popularity of 
tennis has reached the point at which there 
are a lot of players—some of them strong in- 
dividualists—who want to express their indi- 
viduality in the clothes they wear. As a result, 
the dress code has been relaxed. You'll find 
that casual games on, say, municipal courts 
bring out the most outlandish costumes, 
whereas tournament players and those on pri- 
vale courts seem more restrained. Al upper 
levels of play, you usually have two choices: a 
white outfit or a predominantly white oufi. 
Some hotels and resorts have their own dress 
rules, and you should check with them when 
you make your reservations. Usually, there is 
enough leeway to let you express yourself. You 
uill usually be sartorially safe if you stick 
with clothing specifically designed for tennis 
rather than for jogging or sculling or weight 
lifiing. And, of course, for your own safety 
and to protect the courts, always wear proper 
shoes for the surface on which you're playing. 
A final nole: Anyone who shows up in a 
bright-orange outfit had better have а mean 
backhand to go with it. 


F vas just sitting here thinking of my rela- 
tionship with my girlfriend, We have been 
dating for more than a year. I really love her 
a lot; in fact, I just bought her a string 
of pearls for our first anniversary. My 
problem is this: Every time I date onc 
woman for a year or a year and a half, I 
find myself looking for someone new. I 
want my girlfriend for myself yet want to 
meet other women when she’s not around. 
Тат 26 and she is 25. Our sex life is above 
normal. Why do all of my relationships 
last only this long? It's so easy to shop 
around, because she works during the 
weekend, while Pm free—B. K., Elk 
River, Minnesota. 

IL seems to us that either you're afraid of 
serious commilmenis or you haven't met the 
right woman, Perhaps you need to ana- 
lyze yourself and your relationship a bit more 
deeply, and then you'll be in a better position 
to understand why you tire of certain situa- 
tions afler a year or so. You'll also have to de- 
cide what your current affair means to you 
and handle it accordingly. You're doing 
your girlfriend and yourself no favors by 
shopping around while you're still seeing her. 
Sort ош your feelings and be honest about 
them. 


When 1 bought a new car, I transferred 
my old stereo system, which is extraordi- 


nary, into the new auto. It had worked 
great in the old car, but in the new one, the 
sound isa little muffled. The system was in- 
stalled properly and the bass is as good as 
ever, but I’m losing the highs. My new car 
is bigger than the old one. Could that be 
the problem?—R. S., Lancaster, Pennsyl- 
vania. 

Unless you've switched lo a limo, the cars 
size shouldn't be a problem. More likely, the 
glitch is in the speaker placement or the seat 
covers. Here's why: High-frequency sound is 
very direclional. Bass is never a problem ina 
closed environment, such as a car; sound will 
Just splash into it any way ü can. But the highs 
go directly from your speaker into your ear. 
Moving the speaker to where the highs have a 
direct roule—to the front-door panels, for 
instance—will improve the sound. As for your 
seal covers, remember that the stereo will react. 
in a car the same way it does at home. Plush 
seat covers and heavy carpeting will dampen 
highs in a living room. So if you went from 
vinyl or leather seats to a velour fabric, that’s 
where the sound went. 


Hr you could offer some constructive 
advice in the following matter, both my 
mate and I would be most pleased. It 
seems that my lady of two years has an 
aversion to oral sex. She is occasionally in- 
clined to kiss my penis but is unable to 
consider more than a few seconds of 
stimulation. Her aversion stems from an 
incident in her adolescence, when she was 
coerced into a vehicle and forced to suck 
off a warped individual. The repulsive 
memory lingers to this day, and, in fact, 
she finds that a person’s simply placing his 
hand on the back of her head is sufficient 
to tigger a replay. I love this woman 
beyond description. She is extremely in- 
telligent, sincere, honest and spontaneous. 
Our sexual sharing is otherwise open and 
wonderful, and I am loath to press her 
very hard toward something that is a re- 
warding sexual embellishment but hardly 
a necessary one. Do l cross my legs and 
hope her fears will go away, or is there а 
way to hanish them once and for all?— 
C. B., Detroit, Michigan. 

I seems to us you have two choices: You 
can urge your ladyfriend to seek counseling to 
deal with the memories she has of that inci- 
dent in her pasl, or you can accept her as she 
is and learn to live without oral gratification. 
The first choice may be better for both of 
you—but you can't force her to seek help if 
she doesn't want it or doesn’t think she needs 
it. We wish you both luck. 


All reasonable questions—from fashion, 
foodand drink, stereo and sports cars to dating 
problems, laste and etiquette—will be personal- 
ly answered if the writer includes a stamped, 
self-addressed envelope. Send all letters to The 
Playboy Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 М. 
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 
The most provocative, pertinent queries will 
be presented on these pages each month 


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DEAR PLAYMATES 


WAS the tattle of the sexes ragesion, we 
turn to the question of stamina and energy. 
In the bedroom, that is, not in the gym. 
Who has more, men or women? It will 
come as no surprise to you that our 
Playmates have some thoughts on this 
subject. 
The question for the month: 


Who has more sexual stamina, men 
or women? 


H think it’s 50-50. A lot of women, myself 
included, love sex and have a strong sex 
drive. But, then, so do a lot of men. For a 
long time, women were not able to express 
their sex drive. 
Now our fee- 
ings are more 
out in the open, 
and we can say 
we need it just 
as muchas they 
do. It is a sign 
of maturity 
when a wom- 
an understands 
her own sexual- 
ity and knows 
how to express 
it. Then her sexual energy can express it- 
self fully in her sex drive. 


MISSY CLEVELAND 
APRIL 1979 


think it depends more on age and sexual 
awareness than on being male or female. 
But truthfully, I think women have the 
edge, because they are harder to satisfy. To 
women, sex is 
more than sex. 
Sex is hugging 
and kissing. 
It's romancc. 
Women find a 
greater range of 
activity sexual 
than men do. I 
had а boyfriend 
once who was 
really into erot- 
ic literature, 
especially Ori- 
ental literature. He had a lot of stamina. 
I guess it depends on the person. 


ge Phy thogha 


LINDA RHYS VAUGHN 
APRIL 1982 


IMs nave core stamina Valwaya conk 
out first. What can I say? I’m not Masters 
and Johnson and I haven't done any major 
studies, but I reach a point when I'm will- 
ing to curl up 
and go to sleep, 
no matter how 
long or how 
short a time 
T've been hav- 
ing sex. Occa- 
sionally, I'm up 
for an all- 
nighter, but I 
can't live like 
that. The male 
sex drive is just 
stronger. I do 
think women are often stimulated more 
quickly. A woman can see candlelight and 
become aroused. A man may need some- 
thing else, say a garter belt. The most i 
portant thing is to have the same sexual 
clock, so your desires are compatible. 


ii MARCY HANSON 
OCTOBER 1978 


АМ. times, you'll hear that women 
have more stamina, but I think it varies 
with age. Women have more as they get 
older, whereas men have it when they're 
younger. It 
takes women 
longer to feel 
competent sex- 
ually and to 
enjoy their sex- 
ual feelings. As 
they grow sex- 
ually mature, 
they get more 
stamina. They 
can go longer 
than men. But 
І don't think 
it's a question of who can go longer. Two 
people have to enjoy being together. You 
can have sex for three hours, but you can't 
have the exact same kind—and inten: 
ty—for three hours. 


Cat h hago 


CATHY ST. GEORGE 
AUGUST 1982 


Ma cio dto o ET este i 
think that the multiple orgasm proves 
that. Men are more specific about sex, 
more direct. Women are much more 
general. I think 
the fact that 
women are 
finding that 
their capacity 
and energy for 
sex is greater 
than they knew 
makes men feel 
terrific. It 
means that a 
man doesn’t 
have to feel re- 
sponsible for a 
woman’s sexual happiness. Because, ideal- 
ly, she’s doing her own thing. 


LINT 


CATHY LARMOUTH 
JUNE 1981 


[| don't talk to that many girls about sex, 
but if I had to judge by my own personal 
life, Га have to say men. Women have a 
harder time reachirfg orgasm than men 
do. Men think 

about sex a 
lot more than 
women do. I 
really believe 
that. It's the 
way they're 
built or the 
way they were 
brought up 
or something. 
They just seem 
to nced it more. 
As I said be- 
fore, I really feel that men have more ener- 
gy for sex than women do. 


See I 


KAREN PRICE 
JANUARY 1981 


Send your questions to Dear Playmates, 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michigan 
Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. We won't be 
able to answer every question, bul we'll try. 


49 


PLAYBOY 


THIS IS THE CAR 
STEREO TECHNOLOGY 
EVERYONE ELSE 


DOWN THE ROAD. 
SUPERTUNER Ш. 


In 1976, Pioneer introduced 
the first Supertuner* technology. 

It elevated the car stereo 
tuners ability to produce music. 


Supertuner” Pioneer introduces 
Supertuner" III. 

So long, fellas. See you 
down the road in another five 


And sent every othercar years or so. 1 
tuner maker scrambling back to Ё 
the drawing boards. 5 ЕМ CAR STEREO RECEPTION C 
Now just when they've SO CLEAR YOU LL THIN K Й 
YOU'RE LISTENING 
TOACASSETTE,  Braiiirctmunted by tun crac once ie 
z | Because music and Heepin new supene oranes 
only music is impor- continually to develop technol- 
tantto the engineers ogy so sophisticated and ad- 
at Pioneer, anything vanced it virtually eliminates the 


A lot of things stand in the way of clear reception. Like buildings, mountains, 
even telephone poles. Radio signals bounce olf them like balls on a handball 
court Creating static signals cutting in and out Unless you havea Supertuner" M 


that gets in the way 
of the music is as 


finally caught up tothe advanced annoying to them as it is to you. 


technology of the original 


So they've worked 


maddening interference com- 
mon to all car tuners. 

Like static. FM noise. Strong 
signals cutting in or bleeding 


©1983 Pioneer Electronics (USA) Inc. PO. Box 1540, Long Beach, CA 90801-To find your nearest dealer, toll-free, call: ( 800) 447-4700. In Minois: (800) 322-4400. 


in Chicago, Illinois, perhaps 
the worst FM reception area 
in the country. 

If Supertuner* Ш outper- 
formed the competition here, 
it would do it anywhere. 

Using the same car, with 
the same antenna, and driving 
continuously around the same 
block on the Near North Side 
(where the world’s tallest and 
third-tallest buildings create 
FM listening havoc), Pioneer 
put one tuner after another to 
the test. 

And the clear winner, 
time after time, was Pioneers 
Supertuner* Ш. Downtown, only 
Supertuner* IlI received stations 
that came across other tuners 
sounding like bacon sizzling on 
a hot griddle. And in the suburbs, 
only Supertuner*III consistently 
was able to pick up weak sta- 
tions located downtown, and 
hold on to them. 

Of course, reading this 
now may impress you. But most 
likely you'd rather hear the real 
thing with your own two ears. 

So, at your earliest conve- 


on top of weaker ones. tuner eliminates the 


In addition, Supertuner^lll irritants to your listen- 
can capture weak signals froma ing pleasure like "m aue A 
great distance and lock them in. Supertuner" Ill. н 


So, while $ирепипег*Ш It's another to 
offers a great many convenience prove it. Which is just 
gadgets like other tuners, it what Pioneerdid Gair tzenean te hia tem canoes spol rks on hae 
offers something that none of By road testing E Pc. Ill Which is i, pomo eee 
the others can. Supertuner" III against nience, visit your nearest 

The clean, clear, FM stereo the highest quality stereo tuners Pioneer car stereo dealer and 
reception you should be getting currently on the market. ask fora demonstration of 
in this day and age. The test was conducted ^ Supertuner"III. 


— And if, on the drive 
WHICH CAR TUNER GETS there, you get static and 


“THE В [BES TRECEETION IS stations cutting in and out 

on your car stereo, don't 

just change stations. 
Change car stereos. 


Of course, its one thing to 
boast that no other FM stereo 


() PIONEER: 


Because the music matters. 


Love at first sip. 


Delicious Bacardi rum and icy cold Coke. They've been winning smiles since the turn of the century. 
And today this refreshing pair is America's favorite. Ahhh Bacardi and Coke, a taste you'll love sip, after sip, after sip. 


BACARDI, rum. The mixable one. Made in Puerto Rico. 


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THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


а continuing dialog on contemporary issues between playboy and its readers 


THE 23 ENIGMA 

Synchrony is the law that explains why 
the impossible becomes the plausible, to 
the disconcertion of the so-called scientific 
mind. A portion of that law, the 23 Enig- 
ma, was brought to my attention by a 
baseball-enthusiast friend, who delves into 
the complexities of major-league competi- 
tion—the Cleveland Indians in particular. 

In Robert Anton Wilson's book Cosmic 
Trigger, he explains what he calls the 23 
Enigma. When Wilson [a former 
PLAYBOY Associate Editor] was keeping 
records, to his astonishment, the thereto- 
fore undistinguished number 23 appeared 
in a lot of them. The frequency exceeded 
that of any other number. He states, 
“Readers of Koestler's Challenge of Chance 
will find that there are a great many 23s in 
that encyclopedia of odd coincidences 
also.” Wilson cites that 23 axioms open 
Euclid’s geometry; the mad bomber in the 
film Airport has seat 23; a mother and a 
father each contribute 23 chromosomes to 
a fertilized egg; and Sydney Carton is the 
23rd man to be guillotined A Tale of 
Two Cities. (Some believe that's the origin 
of the infamous slang expression 23 
skiddoo!) 

Now, how does that affect the illustrious 
Cleveland Tribe? It just so happens that 
my sports-fan friend noted that the Indi- 
ans reached a ten-game winning streak on 
May 23, 1982. How many runs had they 
given up? Well, 23. The last victory lifted 
the Indians to the .500 mark. They had 
last been at .500 on April 23, 1982. 

Marking my calendar for the 23rd of 
subsequent months, I proved that that 
theory held strength. On June 23, July 23 
and August 23, the Tribe again hit the 
500 mark. 

The Tribe has not been a winning team 
for some time now, but let's sce how long 
it’s been since it won a pennant. Ten 
years? Fourteen years? No! Twenty-three 
years, of course. Coincidence? Maybe. 

Marty Harbin 
Akron, Ohio 

Our record books indicate that the Indians 
last won the pennant in 1954—29 years 
ago. But three goes into nine three times, we 
suppose. Or something like that. . . . 


PITIFUL POOCH 

Regarding the Navy's dope-snifling dogs 
discussed in the October Forum Neusfront, 
I can give vou a little firsthand informa- 
tion. I spent four years in the Navy, the 
last aboard the carrier 0.5.5. John F. 
Kennedy at the time it was visited by the 
Secretary of the Navy and one of the cele- 


brated dogs, and E can tell you that the 
Secretary's description of panic-stricken 
sailors rushing to the rail to throw their 
contraband overboard was pure bullshit. 
There was a dog, all right. The creature 
was loaded into a helicopter and was flown 
to various smaller ships in our group. 
When it was brought up onto our deck, it 
was so frightened of the noise of the rotor 
blades and the jet whine that it had to be 
dragged everywhere. Inside the chopper, it 
was so shook that it shit. By the time it was 


“Some have even turned 
in their best friends.” 


again landed, it was in no condition to 
smell anything. 

I know the story because I was a mem- 
ber of that helicopter squadron, working 
as a flight-deck trouble shooter. 

(Name withheld by request) 
Cowen, West Virginia 


ALTRUISM PAYS 
The state of Texas, characteristically in 
the forefront of reactionary absurdities, 
has pulled off another coup. This time, it’s 
school-sanctioncd betrayal. 

High school students in Lewisville are 
getting paid $100 cach time they provide 
information leading to the conviction of a 
fellow student for using or selling drugs 
School administrators in that north Dallas 
suburb say the program is working better 
than they had hoped. Small wonder. Yel- 


low posters, featuring a cross on top of a 
grave and offering the reward from the 
parent-tcacher-student association, have 
festooned walls. 

“You'd be astonished at how well the 
students are cooperating,” says assistant 
principal Malcolm Dennis. “Some have 
even turned in their best friends.” 

No thinking person condones the sale of 

ofien dangerously impure drugs in a 
school or anywhere else. Sane preventive 
measures are one thing; however, arbi- 
trary and conflict-laden programs such as 
this are quite another. 
Since the Lewisville program began last 
eptember at the 2200-student school, 20 
names have been turned over to school of- 
ficials and 17 of those were reported to 
police, Dennis says. The names of the stu- 
dents are given to police only if drugs are 
found on the student. No drugs were found 
on three of the 20. 

Principal Douglas Killough operated a 
similar program in Alabama (another bas- 
tion of "right-thinking" citizenry), where 
the association persuaded local business- 
men to put up the cash. 

“Irs definitely not a snitch program,” 
says Killough. “The program is a good 
way to get students involved in helping 
each other.” 

How naive to expect such commonality 
ofmotiye. To reward those students whose 
goals are aligned more with revenge and 
deceit than with any altruistic desire to 
“awaken” their troubled contemporaries 
is unconscionable. More, it is hardly some- 
thing to brag about. The ends don’t justify 
such means. 


Bill Thompson 
Charleston, South Carolina 


DEATH PENALTY 

Your editorial “The Punishment of 
Death” in the March Playboy Forum is a 
good, concise statement of the bleeding- 
heart-liberal view on this important topic 
but rather misses the point 

When murderers are executed, they stop 
killing people; if they are not executed, 
they continue. The present system docs 
put innocent persons in jail with the per- 
petrators of victimless crimes and keeps 
your foundation busy trying to get them 
out. Too often, violent criminals are left 
free to attack another victim. If I get a 
speeding ticket, the radar must be right 
ıd E must pay. If I get caught smoking 
loco weed, write to me in care of the 
nearest jail. But onc of my friends was 
murdered а couple of years ago, and the 


53 


PLAYBOY 


54 


people who did it are out walking around. 

Perhaps some of us are adepting a reac- 
tionary attitude here, but most Americans 
live by 


aw and order and would appreci- 


ate having the substandard subculture of 


violent criminals put under control. Our 
system of law and/or justice doesn't seem 
to even try to do that; here in New Mexico, 
people get murdered. not rehabilitated, in- 
side the state pen. Gonsider what a person 
has to do to get the death penalty; and why 
does the victim get so little sympathy while 
the criminal becomes the darling of Tru- 
man Capote, Norman Mailer or even 
PLAYBOY? Why docs a killer with a motive 
stand to get life while your basic mad dog 
can plead temporary insanity and walk 
away? How come we let half of the hit men 
fink on the other half and turn them loose 
with a new name and some taxpayers’ 
cash? A few months ago, a writer sug- 
gested that execu was à reason- 
able way to get rid of problems, and you 
replied that that called into question the 
entire system of criminal justice in this 
country. Right on! Question it! Mean- 
while, violent crime should be discour- 
aged. T really don't give a damn about 
humanitarian principles as applied to sub- 
humans, nor do I see any reason for your 
knee-jerk-liberal revulsion at the death 
penalty. Who cares if “it may deter a few; 
does it deter the many?” It makes them 
stop hurting other people, so it may be the 
only thing in the legal business that actual- 
ly works. 


ame withheld by request) 
Ibuquerque, New Mexico 
We plead guilty to a streak of liberalism, 
but our editorial raised not a single "liberal" 
argument. The nat-so-simple fact is that the 
greal weight of evidence suggests that only an 
unknowably small percentage of killers might 
be rationally deterred even by swift and sure 
execution, and a much larger percentage— 
including the mentally deranged. the envaged 
amd the self destructive —might. well be e 
couraged to violence by the state's example of 
retribution or by unconscious self-destructive 
impulses that have always accounted for 


much criminal behavior. As for the abuses of 


the insanity defense (rare as it is) and the 
threadbare truism that dead killers don't 
make parole, those issues reflect weaknesses in 


the criminal-justice system, nol the merits of 


the death penalty. We don't want murderers 
released to kill again, either, or did you think 
otherwise? Check out the next, also anony- 
mous letter, from a California prison. It sup- 
ports your position only if we develop a new 
legal doctrine of pre-emptive execution. 


1 have never committed an assault, 
much less a capital crime, but were I so in- 
clined, even a guaranteed death penalty 
would not deter me. You cannot deter 
someone who has nothing to lose. 

Thave known of a 
tends to rape again when he gets out. 
Maybe even kill. I sort of feel the same 
way myself. I won't be different when I'm 
free. More bitter, perhaps. My next crimes 


pist who says he in- 


FORUM NEWSFRONT 


what^s happening in the sexual and social arenas 


HOUSE ARREST 

ALBUQUERQUE—Under an experimental 
program due to begin soon in Bernalillo 
County, 90 persons convicted of certain 
offenses will serve their sentences in their 
own homes and at their jobs while wearing 
signaling bracelets l0 guarantee com- 
pliance. The electronic devices emit digital 
codes that alert a probation. officer if the 


subject strays more than 150 feet from a 
telephone or removes the bracelet. The object 
of the experiment is to see if the signaling 
system will eliminate the need for jail time 
that costs taxpayers about $55 per person 
ber day, and the subjects will pay for it 
themselves at a cost of $70 a month. 


HYPNOSIS RULING 

возтох— Го what legal observers consid- 
er a landmark decision, the Massachusetts 
Supreme Court has ordered a new trial for 
a convicted murderer because prosecution 
witnesses had undergone hypnosis to aid 
their recall of events. In setting new guid 
lines, the court held that “hypnosis simply 
lacks general acceptability by experts in the 
field as а reliable method of enhancing the 
memory.” 

In California, Кет County authori- 
lies had to dismiss murder charges 
against а defendant because the victim's 
brain had been lost after an autopsy. 


COSTLY CONCEPTIONS 
WASHINGTON, DG —A study commissioned 
by the Department of Health and Human 
Services advises that billions of tax dollars 
could be saved by persuading teenaged girls 
lo stop having babies. If the number of 


children born to women under 20 could be 
reduced even by half, the report states, pay- 
ments through Medicaid, food stamps and 
Aid to Mothers with Dependent Children 
could be cut 19 percent, to 38.3 billion dol- 
lars, in the next ten years. And if no unmar- 
ried woman under the age of 18 gave birth, 
payments through the three welfare pro- 
grams could be reduced by 17 percent. The 
study also found that each dollar invested in 
Samily-planning services for teenagers leads 
to a threefold Government savings the next 
year in welfare expenditures 


FAMILY LIFE 

zericu—Swiss hookers have asked the 
government's permission to start work al 
Jive pm. instead of eight r.m., claiming that 
beginning earlier in the day would leave 
them morc lime in the evening “for fami 
life.” Current law prohibits prostitution be- 
tween the hours of three р.м. and eight г.м. 

In Sweden, where prostitution is also le- 
gal, a court has handed down a decision 
that may require hookers to start keeping. 
books for tax purposes. The ruling: by the 
country’s highest fiscal court held that the 
commercial offering is a professional enter- 
prise liable to taxation. 


LETTER OF THE LAW 

FRANKFORT, KENTUCKY— Following simi- 
lar decisions in 19 other states, the Supreme 
Court of Kentucky has ruled that a man 
cannot be charged with homicide for killing 
his wife's fetus. The majority opinion did 
not take up the issue of when life begins but 
instead noted the other decisions, the com- 
mon-law definition of murder and the 
definition of “person” as used in Kentucky 
statutory law. The court added that the de- 
fendant could still be charged with perform- 
ing an illegal abortion or with first-degree 
assault. 

Meanwhile, in San Francisco, a woman 
left on life-support systems after. having 
been declared legally dead gave birth nine 
weeks later to а F1-week-oll baby by 
Caesarean section. 


BACKFIRE 

STONY BROOK, NEW YORK—A 22-year-old 
college student who wanted to "look like a 
hero" to his girlfriend paid a man $25 to 
break into her dormitory room and rob her 
so he could come to her rescue, according to 
police. But the boyfriend arrived too late 
and found that the girl had been not only 
robbed but raped. The vapist. still being 
sought, made off with $34, and the student, 
who hired the man at a local pool hall, has 


been charged with burglary and robbery for 
arranging the crime. 

In Tampa, Florida, another hoax back- 
fired when a loser at the local jai alai bet- 
ting windows locked himself in the trunk of 
his own car with the idea of claiming that he 
had been robbed by hitchhikers. He wasn't 
found for 36 hours and by then was willing 
to admit the truth. 


TOOTH-FAIRY TALE 
CLEARWATER, FLORIDA—A widow who 
found a set of false teeth in the urn that sup- 
posedly contained the ashes of her husband 
has filed a $600,000 suit against the 
crematory. Her husband did not have false 
teeth. She contends that the ashes became 
mixed when the crematory burned more 
than one body at the same time in the in 
cinerator. The suit claims that the National 
Cremation Society, Inc., of Largo “failed to 
properly label, segregate and contain such 
remains; consequenily, all or part of the 
remains delivered to the plaintiff were not 
those of her recently departed husband.” 


PREMATURE BURIAL 
COLUMBUS, OHIO—AÀ  probate-court judge 
in Franklin County has decided that if a 
father undergoes a sex-change operation, 
his children are entitled to a death certifi- 
cate listing him as deceased. “They don't 


hawe a father anymore,” reasoned the judge 
in the case of a 30-year-old transsexual 
seeking a legal change of name. Then he 
denied the petition at the request of the 
man’s estranged wife and out of concern for 
the effects such an action might have on the 
man’s children. 


MORALITY ISSUE 
FAST HAMPTON, NEW YoRK—The Easi 
Hampton school board has decided to allow 
a pregnant, unwed teacher to keep her job 
despile a petition from a group of parents 


demanding her dismissal on grounds of im- 
morality. Without disclosing the board's 
reasons, its president announced only that it 
“intends to take no legal action regarding 
[the teachers] employment status with the 
school district.” The teacher also had many 
backers in the community, who had pre- 
sented the board with a petition of support. 


ARRESTING ORDER 

REIDSVILLE, NORTH CAROLINA—AÀ man 
charged with billing more than 5000 tele- 
phone calls to third-party numbers made a 
long-distance call to tell officials he could 
not appear in court due to hospitalization in 
Raleigh. Unable to confirm that, a judge 
issued an arrest order, selling bond at 
$10,000. According to a Southern Bell in- 
vestigalor, most of the calls had been made to 
friends in North Carolina aud other states 
and lasted from one minute to four hours. 


SETTING THE TRAP 

CIRCLEVILLE, OHIO—À 40-year-old man 
has been charged with trying to kill a 
woman by booby-trapping a sign carrying 
ап obscene message about her daughter 
The sign was installed on a fence post along 
a rural route on which the woman drove a 
school bus and was rigged with a concealed 
-25-caliber pistol set to shoot anyone tearing 
it down. Instead of tearing it doum, the 
woman picked it up, spotted the gun and 
called the sheriff. No motive was reported. 


POSTAL PATRON'S POODLE 

PHOENIN—A 57-year-old mailman only 
four and a half years away from retirement 
claims he was fired after one of his custom- 
ers complained to postal authorities that he 
had put Christmas grectings into mailboxes 
without using stamps. “If other people in 
this country have to put postage on en- 
velopes, I don't think mailmen should have 
freebies,” said the complainant. According 
to the mailman, he had tangled with the 
postal patron's pet poodle, and "I guess she 
remembered.” 


WE'LL DRINK TO THAT 

А 42-year-old man who insisted 
he had had only “a couple of beers” was 
arrested four limes in 29 hours—three 
limes on drunk-driving charges and 
once on a charge of being drunk behind 
the wheel of his car. The fourth arrest 
occurred. after his car jumped a median 
strip and crashed into a van. "I guess I had 
some bad luck," he told a local reporter. 


VOLUNTARY BUSSING 

ALBaxy— When a voluntecr at a 
““M*A*S*H’ bash” kissing booth was later 
Sound to have hepatitis, health officals had 
to put out the word thal purchasers of her 
hisses should visit a doctor or a health- 
department clinic. The party was celebrat- 
ing the long-running TV show and raised 


about $10,000 for the March of Dimes. 


CRAPPED OUT 

GEORGETOWN, OH10—A Bowling Green 
woman who fell though the floor of a 
dilapidated outhouse has been awarded 
$7500 in damages from the organization 
sponsoring the county fair where the acci- 
dent occurred. The woman testified that she 
landed “up to my neck” in sewage and suf- 
Jered back and arm injuries, nol to mention 
embarrassment. Two of the fairgrounds” 
outdoor johns date back to the Thirties, 
when they were built by the Works Progress 
Administration. 


WIN A FEW, LOSE A FEW 

WASHINGTON. p.c—Afier shelling out 
more than $500,000 to develop a mass 
spectrometer supposedly capable of detecting 
а single molecule of heroin, the U.S. Cus- 
toms Service technology division came up 
with a dud. The electronic nose couldn't 
sniff out drugs sealed in plastic, and while 


it could pick up the scent of pot, it was also 
good at delecting parsley. 


SHORT ON SHORTS 

ARLINGTON HEIGHTS, ILLINOIS—A Cook 
County circuit-court judge has ordered 
psychiatric tests for а man arrested for pub- 
lic indecency while jogging in the nude. 
From a distance, it looked as if the fellow 
was wearing jogging shorts, bul they were 
painted on his body with black shoe polish. 


THE LAST WAVE 

SALT LAKE сіту Мет a deliveryman 
saw а nude woman waving from her apart- 
ment window, he waved back and, accord- 
ing to police, started to climb up the fire 
escape to the woman's window. She then be- 
gan to scream. He left but returned a little 
while later to offer her money. By then, she 
had called the police, and the deliveryman 
was nabbed. The woman explained to the 
police that her waving had been aimed at 
her boyfriend, who had just left the 
building. 


PLAYBOY 


56 


may well be spectacular enough to war- 
rant a book. Isn't that a terrible thing to 
say? I don't enjoy the idea. 1 could prob- 
ably be helped to a semblance of hormal- 
ity, but the facilities have been denied me. 
Т ask for help, but they only say, “There's 
nothing wrong with you, you're normal.” 
Thats the mentality protecting the 
citizenry. My favorite bumper sticker was 


always SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH OR VLL 
KILLYOU. 
I wish I had the strength to kill myself. I 


may have to victimize someone else. I have 
to do something. The pain is becoming 
more unbearable all the time. I wish some- 
one would realize that the world is dying. 
There is no feeling worse than black de- 
spair. Sorry to depress you, but be grateful 
for whatever can make y ly happy; 
for I have nothing. . . . So 1 want yours. 
(Name withheld by request) 
Represa, California 


HUMPY GETS HIS 
I don't know who was responsible for 
the denouement of James С. “Humpy” 
Parker—v1avpoy, for publishing the young 
man’s letter, or the wheels of Federal jus- 
tice. Anyway, now it’s our turn to say to 
Humpy and his kind of vermin, “Git, boy!” 
(Name withheld by request) 
Panama Canal, Panama 
Sheriff Parker has been convicted 
Federal court of generally terrorizing long- 
hairs, blacks and out-of-state motorists 
attempting to run the gantlet of San Jacinto 
County, just north of Houston. He even 
nailed cars wilh certain Louisiana license- 
plate prefixes oy with bumper stickers promot- 
ing а Houston rock station he considered 
undesirable. In the March “Playboy 
Forum,” a college student described how both 
he and his brother had tangled with “Hum- 
Фуз law” on different occasions, bul we won't 
claim any credil for cleaning up the county. 


AH, PHOOEY! 

Fuck has become a useful, expressive 
word in the modern vocabulary. However, 
it is frankly an ugly word, particularly 
when used in any loving context. 

Since my life has been made beautiful in 
a new marriage to a lovely, relatively 
young lady, I find the use of fuck particu- 
larly repelling, and my bride joins me in 
this reluctance to use the word. 

Would м.лувоу like to join me in the 
creation of a contest to find a more 
pleasant-sounding and romantic word to 
replace fuck? 01 offer $100 toward a reward 
for the creation of a happy replacement 
word under whatever contest rules you set. 

Bill Deming 
San Diego, California 

We иште about to put up $500,000 for 
your contest until our veteran Copy Editor— 
а very nice lady who never uses such lan- 
guage herself—reminded us of the historic 
struggle to get fuch into legitimate print. She 
insists we not abandon it now. Sorry. 


ARMS REDUCTION 

I have always admired the way PLAYBOY 
has covered such pressing social issues as 
sexual freedom, gun contro! and the de- 
criminalization of marijuana, But there is 
one other vital issue that PLaysoy should 
scrutinize: nuclear-arms reduction 

One scldom-discussed obstacle to inter- 
national arms reduction is Article H, 
Section Two of the United States Constitu- 
tion. That clause stipulates that approval 
by two thirds of the Senate is required 
to ratify treaties, Thar strict requirement 
has condemned several arms-reduction 
treaties, including SALT I, to defeat. If 
the citizens of the United States truly be- 
lieve that arms reduction is necessary for 
the survival of humanity, then they should 
make it easier for the President to have 
arms-reduction treaties ratified while, of 
course, maintaining the constitutional sys- 
tem of checks and balances. 

I proposc amending the Constitution 
to make ratification of arms-reduction 
treatics almost as easy as the passage of 
bills by Congress—as established by Arti- 
clc I, Section Seven, which says that if the 


"SUPPORT MENTAL HEALTH 
OR I'LL KILL YOU." 


President does not sign or veto a bill within 
tcn days while Congress is in session, it 
automatically becomes law. I propose a 
constitutional amendment for nuclear- 
and conventional-arms-reduction treaties 
in which two thirds of both houses of C 
gress would have 90 days in which to d 
approve of. treaty 
signed by the President. That amendment 
would give arms-reduction treaties. so cru- 
cial to the future of humanity, a fighting 
chance. 


ап arms-reduction 


Edward Barton Teele 
Bethesda, Maryland 


CRIME V5. PUNISHMENT 

In the January Playboy Forum, Bill Cain 
comcs closc to hitting the nail on thc head 
when he says, “Lers start thinking of the 
offender not as a criminal but as a p 
tient.” Unfortunately, many people scc 
that issue as an either/or case: Either we 
should lock up those cra п isolation 
and let them rot their lives away or wc 
should give them some sort of psycholo 
ical treatment. The former treats the hu- 
man being as a mindless slab of beef, while 
the latter forgets the 
broken. Cain mentions the absurd commo- 
tion caused by the Hinckley acquittal. 
That decision (made by a courageous 
jury) points to the insanity of the insanity 
defense. Think back to when you heard 
about that verdict. Weren't v: 
some shrink at 
deem Hinckl 
months or y 


aws the criminal has 


cured afier only a few 
ars and send him back onto 


the streets? I certainly was. It could hap- 
pen, and it wouldn't be the first time (re- 
member Jack Abbott, Norman Mailer's 
favorite writer/murderer?) 

The solution Cain secks is not so dif- 
ficult to find. Lawbreakers ol any kind can 
and should be treated psychol 
However, the field of psycholog 

fancy, and mistakes are still being made. 
Why not treat the convict in the context of 
his prison? In other words, let's work to- 
ward returning him to society more 
psychologically fit but only after he has 
paid his debt. In that way, we work to- 
ward emptying our prisons and saving tke 
taxpayers’ money. More important, how- 
ever, we begin to treat people as people 
and not as uscless pieces of dirt. 

J. Erik Engberg, Director 
Rational Learning Center 
Greensboro, North Carolina 
D 
THE GREAT DEBATE 

In the March "Playboy Forum," Richard 
Zacher of Oceanside, California, fueled the 
ongoing abortion debate by equating human 
beingness with the human soul. His point was 
political, but he managed to outrage one of 
our more articulate opponents of abortion 
(fiom whom we've heard before) and, it 
would seem, delight a professor emeritus of 
physiology at the University of California in 
Davis. Their letters arrived two days apart, 
and together they take us all on a biotheo- 
logical adventure such as Carl Sagan himself 
could never have imagined. Hang on. 

Zachers argumentation for legalized 
abortion is, quite candidly, incredibly 
sophomoric and can only be called pop 
philosophizing at its worst. But since it is 
so typical of the kind of middlebrow pabu- 
lum that is diss ated countless times in 
mcdia discussions of the issue, to the point 
at which it appears to even highly intelli- 
ent persons to be valid, permit me, in the 
nterest of intellectual honesty, to scruti- 
nize it more closely. 

Zacher asks rhetorically, “I fail to 
understand why the moment of conception 
is the start of life. . . . Where does the soul 
come from? From the sperm? From the 
сер?” He goes on to say, “These questions 
that no one can answer only reinforce my 
belief that life—ergo, the soul [italics 
h the body when it is 
whole and free from the womb . . . with no 
help from another body.” His conclusion 
is that the “matter is not one suited to 
Governmental interference.” 

He is quite correct that the issue of 
“when human life begins" оп a melaphysi- 
cal level, e.g., ensoulment, is, indeed, one 
that philosophers and theologians 
throughout the ages have been unable to 
answer definitively and that is inappro- 
priately decided by the civil authority in a 
pluralistic society. But the question of 
when life begins from a scientific and empir- 
ical viewpoint, unencumbered by such 
inappropriate (for civil authorities) meta- 
physical speculations, is astonishingly 


uncomplicated and eminently answerable 
once the linguistic obscurantism on which 
Zacher's argument rests is dispelled 

The term human being in this 
Piricoscientific viewpoint has both an 
objective meaning and an empirically 
observable referent. There are not two defi 
nitions of it. There is only one. The com- 
‚ shared one, to which everyone who 
s to employ language in the way 
yone else in the culture does must 
adhere: “ m capable of being 
subsumed under the genus Homo and the 
species sapien: 

The criteria for determining whether 
y Homo sapiens are 
obviously universal, empirical, clear-cut 
and are the subject of the subscience of 
taxonomy. As a matter of empirical, scien- 
i cannot seriously be denied that 
m the moment of concep- 
ndeed, Ното sapiens—i.c., а 


em- 


function or qu 
that are, in fact, merely accidental to being 
human (the absence of each of those char- 
rious times been cited 
ition that the embryo 
)—is to engage in 
obscurantism and mystification whereby 
one first denies the undeniable humanity 
of those whose existence one has already, 
for various other reasons, decided to ter- 
minate. Characteristics such as brain func- 
tion, quickening or fully realized viability 
apart from the mother ате not essential to 
being human precisely because they are not 
among the criteria employed taxonomically by 
biologists to determine whether or not an 
organism can be classified as belonging to the 
genus Homo and the species sapiens. 

In summary, the fallacy of Zacher's 
reasoning lies in his confusing the essence 
of humanness with its mere ac s and 
in his shifting impermissibly between a 
aphysical and an empiricoscientific 
level of discourse, using the admittedly un- 
werable nature of the former to deny 
cientilic and legal soundness of a pro- 
bition of abortion on the latter, 

Hugo Carl Koch 

New York, New York 
We would remind Koch that while the hu- 
man fetus is undeniably Homo sapiens. he 
should not shift impermissibly [rom the empir- 
teoscientific to the metaphysical “essence of 
humanness." Now, on to the professor: 


ins 


the 


І appreciate Zacher's thoughtful letter, 
but he doesn’t go far enough. 

The common assumption that life be- 
gins with fertilization simply go 
to fact. Not only docs fertilization not cre- 
ate life, there has been no “creation” of life 
for a good many millions of years. Instead, 
females of any species simply transmit the 
life they inherited from their mothers 
through their own ova. The notion that the 
sperm contributes to the formation of a 


counter 


new life is a pur ist assumption. 
Admittedly, sperm have two very impor- 
tant roles to play—delivery of genetic in- 
formation from the male and sümulation 
of cell division and development—but 
neither is lormation of lile. The ovum 
already contains the life (it is a living cell) 
and has the capacity to develop without 
ation into an adult, functioning 
animal (a parthcnogen). Admittedly, no 
human parthenogens are certainly known: 
the one purported case in religi 

suspect because the sex is biologically 
wrong, but parthenogenic reproduction is 
commonplace in various invertebrate spe- 
cies and also occurs in birds. One rarely 
sees adult parthenogenic birds, but unfer- 
tilized avian ova regularly undergo a ları 
hose embryos 
y die while still in the egg: however, 
arch biologist named Marlow Olsen, 
of the USDA Agricultural Research Serv- 
le, Maryland, succeeded 
or adjustment of incubation 
conditions in hatching several chicker 
turkey parthenogens and then, by genetic 
selection, devcloped strains that produced. 


“The notion that the 
sperm contributes to the 
formation of a new life is 
a purely sexist assumption.” 


large numbers of such ollspring from care- 
fully protected virgin hens of both species. 

Parthenogenic rabbits have also been 
obtained experimentally, and | suspect 
that live birth of human parthenogens 
could be made possible were it not for legal 
constraints on research with human repr 
ductive material and for lack of interest in 
such a project in this male-dominated soci- 
ety: After all, human p: 
all be female. But the p y 
portant to the question. The simple fact is 
that the human ov 
mitted from the mother, even if that 
has litile or no possibility of development 
and birth unless fertilized by a human 


spermatozoon. Since that is a readily 
available remedy, any woman who fails 
to attempt fertilization during any non- 


pregnant month between puberty and 
menopause could be considered guilty of 
negligent homicide. 

Now, whether such homicide is a crime 
or a sin are entirely different questions. It 
is obviously not a crime, since no law has 
ever been passed against it, Whether or 
not it is a sin depends on one of a number 
of unproved and unpro sumptions, 
beliefs or values and u: volves some 
assumption regarding an eternal soul, pre- 
sumably attached to the life in ques 

If one believes, with the majority of the 


world, that the soul suffers a serics of in- 
carnations, then it seems to me that de- 
stroying or failing to foster the body (or the 
potential body) chosen by a particular soul 
would at worst be an inconvenience to that 


soul and, on balance, hardly a sin. 


is the new dual, then 
quences may be more serious 
id on the time of occupa 

In the extreme case, we could be talking 
about the millions of ova as they develop 
by a special form of cell division in the 
ovaries of the baby girl while she is still a 
fetus in the uterus of her mother. Alterna- 
tively, soul occupancy might be delayed 
til ovulation, fertilization, some defini- 
ve development of the brain, birth (as 
m (as others 
lieve). Any such delay would help to re- 
ve our guilt feelings, but there is abso- 
lutely no basis in evidence or in rational 
philosophy for assuming that belief or 
accepting that relief. 

If une prefers to choose a later moment 
for the entrance of the soul, the problem is 
ly quantitatively different. Suppose, for 
example, that one believes (as many do) 
that the soul enters at fertilization. Our 
concern with ovum death is reduced or 
climinated, but it is well established that 
some 70 percent of fertilized ova spon- 
taneously, usually so early that the mother 
doesn’t realize that she was transitorily 
pregnant. That means, of course, that any 
woman who sets out to become pregnant 
or who, through indolence, allows 
pregnancy to occur is, in the majority of 
cases, simply condemning a soul to hell. 

However, there is another way of look- 
ing at it. Alter all, the supposed predilec- 
tion of God for hell-fire is a character 
imposed on Him by some of His worship- 
crs; it is no more proved or provable than 
the presumed behavior of souls around ova 
or embryos. I think He should sue for libel. 

Fred W. Lorenz, Professor Emeritus 
University of California 
Davis, California 

Thank you, Professor; and now, for the de- 
finitrve statement on this matter, we go to a 
‘small town on Long Island: 


ü 


Zacher chooses) or bapti 
bel 


1 would like to provide the final answer 
to the question "When docs life begin?” 
‘The answer, as told to me by my grand- 
mother, is “Life begins when the children 
move out and the dog dies.” 
T hope that settles the issue. 
Morton Weiss 
Wantagh, New York 


“The Playboy Forum" offers the opportu- 
nily for an extended dialog between readers 
and editors on contemporary issues. Address 
all correspondence to The Playboy Forum, 
Playboy Building, 919 North Michigan Ave- 
nue, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 


New 
Players Ki 


Regular and Menthol 


The Surgeon General Has Determined 
rette Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health. 
© Philip Morris Inc. 1983 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: TED TURNER 


a candid, explosive conversation with the atlanta sportsman and tv mogul 
about taking on the networks—and about hypocrisy, on and off the tube 


What to make of a bawdy sailor who rev- 
olutionized cable television? How to react toa 
millionaire baseball-team owner whose antics 
get him more press altention than any of his 
players? What about this fast-living swash- 
buckler who wants to turn America into his 
own vision of goodness and family virtue? 
Who is this guy, anyway? 

Those are but a few of the questions that 
lead one to the doorstep of Ted Turner, the 
Atlanta television-and-sports entrepreneur. 
who turned the Atlanta Braves into winners 
and his Cable News Network into the wild 
card of television programing. He is the man 
Time magazine profiled last year when it 
chose a cover subject to explain the upheaval 
generated by the rise of cable TV and the 
fragmentation of the vast American television 
market. It was he who shook the broadcast 
communily last winter with aggressive over- 
tures lo consummate a merger with one of the 
three major networks that would have made 
him the largest stockholder. And, as this inter- 
view suggests, Turner may not intend to limit 
his ambitions to television. 

When wiaveoy first interviewed. him in 
1978, it was largely because of his athletic 
prowess as the skipper of the winning yacht in 
the 1977 America’s Cup race—and as the 
“Mouth of the South,” the fast-talking, color- 


"Once a woman wouldn't even show her legs 
at the beach, But once you've seen a whole 
bunch of tits, they all look the same—no dif- 
ferent from cous’ udders. Big deal. Men 
have them, just more rudimentary.” 


ful sybarite from Georgia who charmed or 
outraged nearly everyone he met. A man of 
very real athletic achievements who shocked 
the staid community of Newport with his 
carousing behavior, Turner was also the 
owner of an insignificant U.H.F. station in 
Allanta 

The channel's most popular show was a 
Saturday heft-and-hape spectacle called 
“Georgia Championship Wrestling.” News 
was treated as comedy and was aired at three 
or four sw, when, as Turner explained to 
PLAYBOY at the time, “We had a 100 percent 
audience share"—since there were no other 
Atlanta stations on the air all night. 

Then Turner had the insight that has made 
him a hero to cable television and a visionary 
in his time: He discovered the geosynchronous 
orbit, the positioning of a communications 
satellite, or “bird,” in a permanent location 
above the earth so thal its transponders may 
be used on a 24-hour-per-day basis by anyone 
willing to pay the rent on the satellite. Turner 
instanily understood the bird's extraordinary 
possibilities: A video signal rises to the satel- 
lite in a straight line but returns to the carth 
as if it were an wnbrella-shaped rain shower 
that covered the hemisphere. 

Turner hit upon the innovative and then- 
unproved trick of beaming his low-cost sports- 


“I don't object to sex appeal on TV, but Im 
against gratuitous sex and homosexuality and 
philandering around. As long as it’s your 
wife or girlfriend, I don't think there is 
anything wrong with that." 


and-entertainment fare to program-hungry 
cable systems around the country via the satel- 
lite. His programs were low-profit but hardy 
perennials: superannuated reruns from his 
library of 4000 movies and discontinued sc- 
rials, plus lots of sports—chiefly his own two 
losing ball clubs, the Braves and the N.B.A.’s 
Allanta Hawks. Suddenly, he was selling. 
"Leave It to Beaver” and live baseball in 
such faraway places as Hawaii and Alaska. 
With typical. bravado, he called his new 
national channel a superstation. Turner's 
daring new step helped accelerate the spread 
of cable hookups throughout the country and 
eventually became the money source that 
financed the rest of his growing empire. 

Yet few took Turner's inroads seriously. 
During his first “Playboy Interview,” cven he 
characterized his operation as a “nitwork,” a 
word he now gleefully uses to describe his 
adversaries, the three large broadcast net- 
works. His hardware al the lime consisted of 
the highest television tower in the Southeast, a 
billboard-painting operation on the back lot 
and а single earth-station microwave. dish 
attended by a lone technician in a house trail- 
er outside Atlanta; he drove our interviewer 
down а rutted road deep into the woods to 
show it off. Turner's attitude toward news 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVE HELBER 


"You know what? You're finding that I've 
really made it. Much as you hate to admit it, 
you're really impressed, aren't you? You bet 
your sweet ass you are. Гое made it now and 
I've made it in television.” 


59 


PLAYBOY 


was that it was all bad and that the public 
was belter off watching reruns of “Gilligan's 
Island.” 

Then came the Cable News Network. As he 
explains in this interview, Turner began to 
realize that with the cable channels saturated 
with movies and sports, oue obvious product 
was not yet being marketed on a full-time 
basis to cable subscribers: news, perhaps the 
hottest entertainment of all. Typically, Turner 
dofied conventional business wisdom—Tine, 
Inc., had declined to get into full-time news- 
casting because il was considered too costly — 
and decided to plunge headlong into Cable 
News Network within a period of months. He 
mortgaged the farm, so to speak, rerouting all 
his superstation profits into the development 
of a world-wide news network housed in 
Turner Broadcasting System's new head- 
quarters, a Taralike mansion thal was once 
the center of a posh Atlanta country club, In 
June 1980, Turner рш CNN on the air with 
bombast and fanfare, and it has never gone 
off since. 

The man whose remarkable business odys- 
sey has led him into this epic fray was born 44 
years ago in Cincinnati, the son of an ambi- 
ious father whose own parents had lost their 
land in South Carolina during the Depres- 
sion. Turner's father encouraged his son's 
sense of destiny by the very name he gave hin: 
Robert Edward Turner HI, a title worthy of a 
Confederate aristocratlsoldier and a tradition 
Turner has continued by naming his own 
first son Robert Edward Turner IV. 

When he wasa boy, Turner’s family moved 
South and placed him in military schools, 
which provided the background that has 
made him a lover of military tradition and 
war classics. He literally fought his way to 
prominence at Georgia Military Academy 
and at McCallie School in Chattanooga be- 
fore moving on to Brown University in 
Rhode Island. There, he studied the classics 
over his father’s protest and was finally 
booted out of school for assorted outrages in- 
volving girlfriends and, once, for incinerat- 
mg his own fraternily float. 

H was Turner senior's suicide when his son 
was 24 that sel the course for the rest of the 
young man’s business life, Turner recovered 
the family billboard business that his father, 
deep in debt, had sold shortly before putting a 
gun to his head. He soon demonstrated the 
altributes of the riverboat entrepreneur that 
characterize him today: He prachased a fail- 
ing Allanta U.H.F. station but quickly had 
the wrestling-and-reruns market all to him- 
self when the only U.H.F. competition con- 
cluded that Atlanta was a nonmarket. It was 
through the unlikely back channel of a station 
whose main studio set was a wrestling ring 
that Turner became one of the country’s most 
powerful media chiefs. 

While many network executives still dismiss 
him as little more than a bury under their 
corporate saddles, they have also paid him the 
ultinate compliment of imitation, expanding 
their news programing into lale-night hours 
and beginning their morning shows an hour 


earlier. Some have adopted the national call- 
in format pioneered by CNN. ABC even 
Joined Westinghouse to mount a direct cable 
competitor, the Satellite News Channels. 

But Turner is not content lo take on the 
giants of the American communications in- 
dustry with his slingshot alone; there is also 
his lip. The Mouth of the South has taken his. 
act on the road and become the most caustic 
and vociferous critic of the prosperous and 
entrenched broadcast industry in all its his- 
Tory. Turner’s sense of the histrionic has not 
failed him; he unhesitatingly compares his 
adversaries to the Gestapo and to those who 
deservedly lost their heads during the French 
Revolution. 

While acting the role of pious spokesman 
in this self-scripted morality play, the rake of 
Newport attacks sex on television while 
mounting а new soap opera on lis own su- 
perstationz the purveyor of 24-hour news de- 
bunks “gloom and doom" on the networks 
and insists on television programing's show- 
ing only “the kind of people you'd like your 
kids to grow up and be like.” 

To probe the inner workings of the new 
Turner, PLAYBOY'S obvious choice as inter- 
viewer was Contribuling Editor Peter Ross 
Range, who conducted our first interview 
with him in 1978. The man Range found 


“I thought ‘Gandhi? was 
terrific. It shows thal you can 
win through nonviolence.” 


this time was, indeed, different, and here is 
his report: 

“Turner has changed. He is no longer the 
laugh-a-minule, expository motor mouth who 
sees a classic metaphor behind. every man’s 
maneuvers. Yet he still often portrays his own 
zigs and zags through the corporate jungles 
im David and Goliath terms. He still relishes 
the role of underdog yet views his competitors 
not merely as bigger but as part of a dark 
conspiracy to do in Turner, his company 
and, for that matter, the whole of American 
civilization. 

“He has also become, as many men in high 
position do, at least a partial victim of his 
own celebrity. When we first invited hin lo do 
the ‘Playboy Interview, while walking along 
the Newport waterfront in 1977, his response. 
was, ‘Wow! virsvnoy! That's the big time!” 
Our interview was his first major national ex- 
posure outside sports publications, and he 
was duly impressed. Since then, he has 
appeared in virtually every medium and takes 
himself a great deal more seriously than be- 
fore, especially since he appeared on the cover 
of Time and as the subject of a British 
Broadcasting Company television special 
called ‘The Man from Atlanta’ (which he 
unabashedly aired last spring on his own 
satellite network). Consequently, he agreed to 


the second ‘Playboy Interview’ only after a 
melodramatic groan and many months of 
abrupt cancellations and wasted trips. 

"Even when he is at his least cooperative, 
tracking Turner remains a special kind of 
adventure—a high-speed chase over the real 
and figurative landscape of his life in cars, 
jeeps and airplanes and on foot. The chief 
difference between this years conversation 
and the one five years ago was that we did no 
talking on a sailboat—but we did a lot on the 
hoof, trekking briskly around his 5000-acre 
plantation. in the South Carolina low coun- 
try, near Charleston. He lives there with his 
family on weekends between sorties into the 
national wars in Washington and elsewhere. 
Turner invited me to begin the interview 
with a visit to his plantation. We flew in from 
different cities to the Charleston airport on 
Friday night and began our conversation 
during the 35-mile drive to his house 


PLAYBOY: When we interviewed vou five 
years ago, you were known mainly as the 
colorful sailor who had won the America's 
Cup yacht race and as the owner of the 
IJ. Now the Adar 
you're a force in 
nd you've even been 
on the cover of Time. Quite a chang: 
TURNER: You know what you're finding 
iow? You're finding that Гуе really made 
Much as you begrudgingly hate to 
admit it, you're really impressed, aren't 
you? 
PLAYBOY: Yes, but- 
TURNER: You bet your sweet ass you are. 
Гуе made it now and Гуе made it in tele- 
vision. We just finished a survey that 
showed unequivocally and undeniably, by 
massive margin, that more than half the 
people who are even aware of cable televi- 
sion and have it in their homes choose 
Cable News Network as their source of 
news. I mean, ABC and NBC and CBS 
combined did not get as many votes as 
CNN. We've taken over news leadership 
from the networks. They had 30 years to 
do it and we did it in only two and a half. 
PLAYBOY: Can you rcally justify that claim? 
After all, most homes still don’t have 
cable- 
TURNER: Yes, I can. We're putting it in ads 
and on our posters in the airports. Cable is 
now in nearly 40 percent of the homes and 
we're in 75 percent of those. So we're into 
31 percent of the homes in America, and 
all those people also get the networks. And 
those are the people who responded to our 
poll. Til show you the figures. They're 
mple—ten pages double-spaced. Even 
you can understand them. 
PLAYBOY: ‘There has been a lot of talk lately 
of your merging with a major network or 
studio. What about rumored MGM 
deal? 
TURNER: [Pause] Shut the machine off? 
[Off-the-record discussion, then interview 
тезите] 
PLAYBOY: There is 


no question that your 


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THE ONE AND ONLY 


THE 
DEMONS 


OF TED TURNER 


opinion 


By PETER ROSS RANGE 


It was not my intention to deal with 
the much-talked-about but rarely re- 
ported dark side of Ted Turner’s per- 
sonality. | went South to explore the 
revolution in American television that 
Turner has sparked nearly single- 
handedly. He is one of the entrepre- 
neurial giants of our time, His talent 
lies not necessarily in the conception of 
a new product—Home Box Office beat 
him to the notion of full-time satellite 
relay, and others before him had 
dreamed about a round-the-clock news 
operation. But it is Turner's willingness 
to commit body, soul and wallet—his 
own money!—to an untested idea that 
defines unique 
American produ 

As owner of his multimillion-dol 
enterprise, Tumer is a rare creat 
ntry gone flat with corporate cau 
tion and decision by committee: a bold. 
risk taker who gambles the mortgage 
on a long shot. It has been many years 
since the young General David Sarnoff 
risked his future on a little electronics 
company called RCA or since Bill 
Paley, the recently retired chairman of 
CBS, left the family cigar company in 
Philadelphia to bet his life on radio. 

But there is also another Ted Tur- 
ner. He is the free-enterprising press 
mogul who stands for certain kinds of 
censorship, the public moralizer who is 
hypocritical in his private ‚ the 
promoter of nonviolence who combines 
personal meanness with uncontrolled 
outbursts of physical destruction 

1 had heard about Turner's intem- 
perate side for years but had glimpsed 
it only obliquely. In his occan-racing 
days, he had a reputation for browbeat- 
g and occasionally striking crew 
members who made mistakes or who 
displeased him in any way. “If I hit 
them," he told me once, “I hit them 
only in the back." To Turner, that was 
an excusable transgression—better, I 
suppose he meant, than hitting a man 
n the face. 

I remember a colleague at Time who 
was assigned ten years ago to do a story 
on the fast-rising young yachtsman. He 
sailed on Tumer’s boat but then re- 
fused to file his report because of 
‘Turner's abusiveness to his own wife 


contribution to 


and his references to blacks subhu- 
man.” He also talked frequently about 
the cleansing nature of war as 
efficient way to weed out the wea 
members of society. “But the most 
vivid thing in my memory,” says the 
journalist, “was his hands-on destruc- 
tion of barracuda and king mackerel 
brought on board. He would fall on 
them with a winch handle and pound 
them, shouting, “Kill! Kill! Kill" as 
blood and scales flew across the deck. 1 
considered him a monster with a fascist 
mentality. I got away from him as fast 
as I could and called my editors to can- 
cel the story.” 

My first personal experience of 
Turner's unpredictable violence was 
watching him destroy my property in 
the first-class cabin ofa jetliner cruising 
5,000 feet. Perhaps 1 should have 
seen it coming. "Turner's fame has Бе 
going to his head ever since he made 
the cover of Time last August. He 
abruptly ended a taping session for 
The Tom Cottle Show, a syndicated tele- 
vision interview program. Cottle had 
begun asking questions about Turner’s 
family and personal life. “He under- 
stood in advance that I do very person- 
al interviews,” says Cottle. “When I 
asked how he could preach about the 
role of women in television when he is 
constantly seen in public with other 
women, he realized he couldn't control 
the interview himself and stopped it.” 
So that none of us might ever witness 
that strange outburst, Turner ripped 
up the release he had signed before tap- 
ing the show. I suppose he was trying 
to do the same thing—destroy the c 
dence—when he smashed my tape re- 
corder and stomped on my cassette 
bag. 

For a man who is trying to become 
the main force in electronic journalism, 
Turner's behavior is erratic, to say the 
least. When Barbara Howar flew to 
Atlanta last summer to interview him 
for ABC's Entertainment Tonight, 
Turner suddenly posed last-minute 
conditions that no journalist on his own 
news network would accept. He 
isted on complete editing rights of the 
video tape, and when Howar balked, 
refused to do the interview unless it ran. 


in its entirety. “We were already set up 
in his office, so 1 went ahead,” says 
Howar. “I reduced it to just two ques- 
tions and, fortunately, it worked.” 

There is a still darker, little-talked- 
about side of Turner that one glimpses 
in these situations, and it resembles a 
classic death wish, Anyone who spends 
much time around him has a handful of 
stories to tell about his references to 
death, sometimes by suicide. “If I'm 
not dead . . ." is a phrase that cropped 
up in my discussions with him. “I'm a 
good candidate for a heart attack,” he 
said before we boarded the plane to Las 
Vegas—as much a boast as a lament 
The symmetry— Turner's father was 
rough, mean-tempered and finally 
suicidal—is depressing to contemplate. 
More than a few people in Atlanta 
think that Turner will not die of natural 
causes. And they think that he thinks 
the same. 

The man’s contradictions—not to 
say hypocrisy—abound. Turner has 
become a profamily proselytizer and 
has allied himself with the hard core of 
the New Right—Jerry Falwell, Jesse 
Helms and Donald Wildmon. But this 
is the same man who comes on to vir- 
tually every pretty woman he meet: 
Turner’s reputation with women is 
legendary. Even today, he makes little 
attempt to hide his frequent and far- 
flung travels with model Liz Wicker- 
sham. Turner met her five years ago on 
an airplane and later gave her a job on 
WTBS. '*He's making her a star,” ex- 
plains one network staffer with undis- 
sed chagrin. Wickersham traveled 
rner and a news team last year 
to visit Fidel Castro in Cuba and was 
on his arm during the trip I shared with 
Turner to Las Vegas. 

"Turner is the married father of five, 
so his alleged philandering is the stuff of 
common conversation at Cable News 
Network, When I was told that Liz 
Wickersham would be flying with Tun 
ner and me to Las Vegas, Turner’s 
агу added, “But that's off the rec- 
ord”—though their companionship 
was there in plain view for everyone at 
the Adanta airport and the Flamingo 
Hilton & Tower in Las Vegas to see. 

T can't underst; 


nd why vou report- 


have never done the female s 
id one highly placed. executive who 
invited to. watch 
П video 
tapes of Turner in Turner’s office. 

“If I were the National Enquirer,” 
said another, “I would just follow him 
ound for a 

And another; “How can he be con- 
sidering running for political office 
when this would be the first thing to 
come out?” 

That is precisely to the point. The 
only reason to dwell on a topic that 
should otherwise be a man's private 
affair is that he insistently made 
himself into a public figure. That he 
treats his family with crude vulga 
nobody's business—until he starts 
doing it in front of journalists and then 
sermonizes publicly out of the other 
side of his mouth. 

Turner aspires to power. He has 
money; he has achieved fame; he has 
won big at sports; and he has broken 
through in the news business when all 
said he would fail. Power is the only 
challenge left to him. He seeks it first in 
the form of owning a significant slice of 
the Am 


tory; 


major national TV network and/or film 


studio. And, despite his repeated de- 
nials, sources close to Turner say he 
plans to seck it in the more traditional 
way, on the political hustings 
“We talked about his running for 
governor,” says a confidant. “But he 
said, "That's too small'" When he 
moved his family from Atlanta to a 
South Carolina plantation several years 
ago, say insiders, it was to establish 
residency for a possible race agains 
Strom Thurmond in 1984. But the only 
job Turner really wants, say those who 
are close to him, is nothing less than the 
Presidency of the United States. His 
yehicle to power? Television. “I don't 
need a political base,” he said to a 
friend, “because, when the country col- 
lapses, Гуе got the boob tube, and l'm 
gonna make my pitch (o be President.” 
Last spring, Turner reportedly confided 
to close advisors that the real reason he 
wanted to sell or merge his company 
with either a network or a movie studio 
was to be able to mount a Presidential 
campaign by June of 1983. 
“The country needs me,” he told his 
advisors. “It can't wait four years.” 
Whether or not a Turner candidacy 
seems farfetched, what brand of politics 
would a President Turner practice? 
Although his beliefs are essentially 
right wing, his theory of governance 
has little to do with ideology. It is pow- 
сг he respects. When he returned from 
a recent visit with Cuban president 
Fidel Castro, he told Reese Schoenfeld, 
the first head of CNN, “Castro’s not a 
Communist. He's like me—a dictator.” 
Asked if that might have been meant 


humorously, Schoenteld 
says nothing as a joke." 

In his Playboy Interview, Turner re- 
fers to “coming down from the hills” to 
engage his network enemics and has 
also exhorted his in circle of excci 
tives to be like Castro's original band of 
revolutionari 
the coun 

Turner's quest for power is of 
with the vindication he sought 
cyes of his father, finally achicved in the 
form of extraordinary business success 
ely held company. Now he 
seeks affirmation from à society that 
has often regarded him as an untutored 
rustic and a renegade outcast (no bank- 
r in Atlanta would cven lend him 
money when he bought his first U.H. 
television station; he has not forgotten 
that). That may be why he feels com- 
pelled to cast himself not merely as bet- 
ter, faster, smarter or the guy with the 
1 mousctrap but, ultimately, 
role. Turner is out to save 
America. He is convinced that he can 
do it. 

It’s possible that there are cnough 
people out there smitten with "Turner's 
good-ol’-boy carthiness and charm— 
qualities just as genuine as his egoma- 

ia and his hypocrisy—that he may get 
somewhere with his plans. How many 
other baseball-team owners sit behind 
the dugout at every game and chew 
tobacco? In a state-wide race—say for 
the US. Senate—Turner would be a 
campaign manager's dream, just the 
way George Wallace was the quintes- 
sential political animal of his time and 
place. Turner has the great gift ofdem- 


, who are now running 


agoguery. It could сапу him a long 
way in a socially and economically frus- 


trated society desp 1 
rong-man quick cures. 
Yet his road to power may very well 


be limited to the mass media—not that 


а! 


looking for 


three networks is sobering. And therein 
lies the paradox of the man: A fearless 
and gutsy entrepreneur, an American 
naif willing to question any entrenched 
tradition, a backer of dreams and 
dares, he has made a unique contribu- 
tion to his country and his culture. Yet 
he constantly dances on the rim of thc. 
business and the behavorial abysses, 
courting self-destruction the way others. 
lock for safe havens. Just as he is un- 
able on any given day to countenance a 
challenge to his theology—I think that 
that was what triggered his rage at me 
igh in the Colorado skies— Turner in 
ion of media power would have 
us all subscribing to his view of the 
world. The same пай that makes 
Ted Turner such а pioneering genius 
also renders him a flawed and danger- 
ous man. 


news network 


your WTBS "supersta- 


bbying in Washington against increased 
s for movies carried on WTBS. How 
ve those rates affected you? 

TURNER: We've lost about 300,000 sub- 
scribers, which isn’t too bad, out of the 
.000,000 we signed up. We expected it to 
be much worse, but people are sticking 
with me. But this whole thing is too com- 
plicated for ravnoy. It’s complicated, 
complicated, complicated! I mean, it'll all 
be changed again by the time this inte 
view appears in five months. PLAYBOY оре 
ates on a five-month delay! Sixty Minutes 
operates on a two-month delay! Gable 
News Network operates on no delay, not 
even a ten-second delay! PLAYEOY is just 
sleaze on some pages and outdated in- 
formation on the others. 

PLAYBOY: Each to his own opinion. 

TURNER: Well, it's the truth. You can put 
that in there. ICH be edited out, 

PLAYBOY: Let's wait and sec. 

TURNER: You've got crotch shots of attrac- 
tiye women on one page and then you talk 
about your editorial integrity by having a 
-month-old interview on another. Why 
don't you get the magazine out faster? 
PLAYBOY: "There's actually about a three- 
month lead time, and it has to do with 
quality control of the color pictures 
TURNER: Why? I mean, the dirty pictures 
can be shot six months ahead. Pussies look 
the same whether or not they are 
months old. In fact, they could have been 
shot 60 years ago, if there had heen coloi 
film. For someone who's running as fast as 
me, this interview will be totally obsolete 
when it appears 

PLAYBOY: Maybe you'll be surprised—ou 
interviews tend to last. Anyway, have 
you been claiming that you've changed 
into a more serious person [rom the hell 
raiser you once werc? 

TURNER: I have changed. I've gotten more 
serious, more concerned about the tends 
of the world—the overpopulation prob- 
lem, the environment, the nuclear issue, 
Love Canal, unemployment, inflation, 
PLAYBOY: What do you do about them on 
your ions? 

TURNER: We do documentaries about them. 
We just finished a major series on the auto 
industry. 
PLAYBOY: Other media have done tl 
TURNER: Nobody’s done one on soil cro- 
sion, and we got a big award for it. No 
one's done our documentary on popula- 
tion control. We got a UN award for that. 
Nobody had ever done a documentary on 
the Boy Scouts until we did one. In 30 
wears, the networks have never done a 
program on the Boy Scouts. I thought that 
was a devastating bit of information! 
That’s the sort of programing I want— 
shows that are uplifting, that support 
ily values. 

PLAYBO' ус years ago, you told PLAYBOY 
you only skimmed the front page of 
the newspaper, then went straight to the 


63 


PLAYBOY 


64 


sports and business sections. You said you 
didn't want anything to do with all that 
bad news on the front pages. 

TURNER: 1 still don't read the news. 
PLAYBOY: What about TV? 

TURNER: | never watch television news. 
PLAYBOY: Including Cable News Network? 
TURNER: No, I watch CNN all the time. 
But at CNN, it’s balanced. C 
only about half the time on di 
other half on interviews, sports news, busi- 
ness, editorials, tips. . . - 

PLAYBOY: But your reporters cover disas 
ters, too. You said a few years ago, “What 
do you want, how many children got killed 
in a school-bus accident in Chile?” 
TURNER: Well, that’s true. ! still don’t think 
they ought to gleefully rub their palms and 
say, “Ha, ha, school bus overturned in 
Chile. And we can show the little crushed 
bodies of the children." I still don’t agree 
with that. We do it, but at least we present 
what's never been on television before— 
responsible new: 

PLAYBOY: What do you mean? 

TURNER: | mean, the v the networks 
covered the Vi 


They never s 
ng medals or help- 
ing villagers or anything. I didn’t watch 
too much of it, but I know the military and 
our leaders were very unhappy about the 
way the war was covered. 

PLAYBOY: Are you saying that the opinions 
of Government leaders should determine 
how the media cover news? 

TURNER: | thi should be balanced. 
PLAYBOY: You mean, for every flaming с: 
on the streets of Beirut 
TURNER: There could be an interview with 
Philip Habib on how we could bring peace 
to Lebanon. That would be balance. 
PLAYBOY: The networks do that. 

TURNER: No, they don't. They don't run a 
fraction of the interviews we do. They have 
Face the Nation and Meet the Press—one 
half hour a weck, We have 25, 30, 50 hours. 
of that type of programing. We spend one 
hour, from ten to П every night, on The 
Freeman. Report. That’s five hours a week 
right there. You put out a magazine only 
once a month. 

You know, I was really pissed off about 
my first Playboy Interview when it came 
out. You lied to me; you said you were not 
going to run anything like that 
PLAYBOY: Like what? 

TURNER: V g to leave women 
out of it. You know, I bared my soul. I 
gave you everything I had and only asked 
that you didn’t take any cheap shots. 
PLAYBOY: What cheap shots? At the time, 
you had recently created a scandal with 
your behavior in Newport during the 1977 
America's Cup race, We merely asked 
to comment on press reports saying you 
had a reputation as a womanizer. You re- 
plied that you were a family man, then 
volunteered that you photographed nude 
women, and we went on to other topics. 
TURNER: Well, we were going to leave dirty 
language and women out of it, because ev- 


wert 


you 


erybody does it—99 percent or 88 or what- 


сусг. Do you know how many times Гус 
been interviewed since then? About 
10,000! Pm not really pissed, because I 


agreed 1o do the interview again, but hope- 
fully you'll be a little more intelligent in 
your editing this time. But if you ever do 
anything like that again, you'll never see 
me again; and it'll be your loss, because 
five years from now, you're going to want 
to come back again—if Tm not dead. Гус 
just reached the point where I'm really 
going to be able to do some really con- 
uctive stuff. 

PLAYBOY: It’s not our job to sanitize your 
remarks, but let's go on: What do you 
mean by “really constructive stuff? 
TURNER: Well, we're already underwriting 
Jacques Cousteau's program. I spent a 
week with him on the Amazon and took 
my sons along: I gave him $4,000,000 for 
his work this year. We'll get four hours of 
programing out of it. Of course, I'm losing 
my shirt on it. That's double the budget of 
network programs. But at least 'm going 
to keep Cousteau operating. He's on my 
team, 

PLAYBOY: Nature scems to be one of your 


“The way the networks 
covered the Vietnam war 
just sickened me. It was 
anti-American. I know 

our leaders were very 

unhappy about it.” 


passions. Is your plantation part of that? 
TURNER: It’s а zoo. We'll be there in a few 
minutes. Гуе got 5000 acres of land that 
used to be five plantations. At the out- 
break of the il War, there were 500 
slaves living here and probably about 100 
other people. Now there are more animals 
than people. We've got deer, duck, doves, 
geese, bison. I even have a cougar named 
Kenya. He took a swipe at me one day 
when I went into his cage. Гус got two 
bears, too, except that one of them got 
away. Boo Boo's gone. 
PLAYBOY: Boo Boo? 
TURNER: Boo Boo's the bear. She's out 
roaming around the woods now. [Boo Boo 
was later found and returned.| There's the 
house—Hope Plantation. 
PLAYBOY: It's a beautiful place. How did 
you get it? 
TURNER: Bought it from Yankees. 
PLAYBOY: How much did you pay for it? 
TURNER: None of your damn business. 
[The following morning, after breakfast, 
the interview resumed as the family and some 
house guests gathered before the television set 
in the spacious but comfortable living room 
decorated with duck decoys and а tusseled. 


overhead wooden fan. It was time for the 
CNN feed from Atlanta that Turner receives 
on the 15-foot satellite-receiving dish set up 
in his Lack yard. The program was about a 
Milan fashion house that was showing mod- 
els in very revealing new designs.| 

TURNER: Look at those models! This is like 
watching those old Movietone newsreels: 
they'd always have a report on the latest 
fashions from Paris. 

[During a break on Turner’s station, there 
was a reference made to Henry VHI.] 
TURNER: Henry VIII. . . . He didn't get di- 
vorced, he just had their heads chopped off. 
when he got tired of them. That's a good 
way to get rid of a woman—no alimony! 

[The fashion show resumed on CNN and a 
pair of models displayed see-through blouses. 
A voice in Turner's living room remarked 
jocularly, “Blue television!"] 

PLAYBOY: Family stuff, eh, Ted? 

TURNER: Woo, woo! You know, it used to 
be that a woman wouldn't even show her 
legs at the beach. But once you've seen a 
whole bunch of tits, they all look the 
same—no dillcrent from cows’ udders. 

[Turner's wife, Janie, admonished him, 
“This is going to be in the interview, Ted! 
Ted, be quiet! Just be quiet!"| 
TURNER: What's the big deal? The 


¢ no 


different fiom cows’ udders—mammary 
nds, Men have them, just mor 
im ‚2. You know, T like those 


s. Low-cut. Short on the top and the 
bottom. I like to sce a lot of the woman, 
even ishe'sa skinny, way-out woman, like 
those fashion models. 1 like the pLaynoy 
women better. 

[Turner then led Range on a long walking 
tour of Hope Plantation, answering ques- 
tions while pointing out flocks of doves, snipe 
and other wild foul. 

PLAYBOY: What gave you the idea for a 
24-hour news network? 

TURNER: I actually had the idea before I 
started the superstation on satellite in 
1976. I was thinking ahead, and at diat 
time, Home Box Office was already on the 
Satcom satellite with older programs and 
sports. We had old movics and sports on. 
WTBS, and I thought, Well, what's the 
next channel? We already had plenty of 
sports and movies, so it seemed like news 
would be the next most logical thing to 
provide. But I knew it was going to be very 
expensive. And I never thought wed be 
the one to do it, because we were a very 
small company and the  superstation 
hadn't proved itself yet. 
PLAYBOY: So why did you d 
TURNER: Well, Time, Inc., which owns 
Home Box Ollice, started sneaking around 
a little and found out that the major net 
works’ news budgets for only 60 hours a 
month were considerably more than 
$100,000.000 a year. Time figured it would 
cost at least as much to start a news net- 
work as it cost the networks. So 1 went up 
and talked with Time’s people and said, 
“If vou guys want to do it, I'm not going 
to. But if you don't want it. . , .” They 


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said, “Go ahead. We're not going to do it. 
We're in business to make money.” So 
even though [ couldn't get the commit- 
ments up front that I needed within the 
cable industry, Г went ahead and launched. 
SNN in June 1980. 
PLAYBOY: Why di 
market? 
TURNER: Beca. ws has always been 
just a stepchild of the networks. The big 
money is in entertainment. There has nev- 
er before been a first-class, in-depth news 
seryice on television. 
PLAYBOY: You don't consider the major 
networks first-class? 
TURNER: They just bring you 22 minutes of 
gloom-and-doom headlines. Say the Pope 
gets shot. The networks all lead with the 
same story; they all run the news at 
the same time at the same length. The only 
difference is they're trying to get the rat- 
ings. And they'll do anything they can for 
that. The guy who heads up АВС News 
isn’t even a newsman, he’s a sports man. 
It’s just showbiz. [Usa personality contest. 
They build up their anchors with wisc- 
seeming persons who get everyone's con- 
[нт кн E a A 
it's just a bunch of bullshit. 
PLAYBOY; Would you say that about somc- 


you think there was a 


have never (effecti to enum but he kind 
of agrees. He always said the half-hour 
evening news g more than 
the headlines. 

PLAYBOY: Wi 


"s wrong with that? 


TURNER: It's become a ratings battle, and 
the 


networks have taken the yellow- 
nalistic route. You know, cover the 
ual stories, like a hotel fire 
ог a volcanic eruption, à major murder, 
пе crash of the day. 
That's yellow journalism? An 
ic crash or the eruption of Mount St. 
is yellow journal 
TURNER: In those 22 minutes, they don’t 
have any time for incisive reporting. They 
don’t cover business virtually at all. They 
just say, "The stock market is up." Busi- 
ness is not a big ratings grabber, but that’s 
the kind of stuff we do. We cover every- 
thing. We're like a newspaper of the ai 
We have news and editorials and a si 
section and in-depth sports coverage. The 
networks don't do that. 

PLAYBOY: No sports coverage? What do the 
networks do all Saturday and Sunday 
afternoons? 

TURNER: I'm talking about sports news. 
Normally, they give the scores, but nobody 
ever had а half-hour news program just 
about sports until CNN 

PLAYBOY: You're making cable news sound 
ike Turner's gift to mankind. Except lor 
packaging, how is the news product 
your network delivers different from that of 
the networks? 

TURNER: Whar's changed about magazine 
interviews ept that you use a tape 
recorde ad of a pencil and a pad? 
PLAYBOY: At least wc don't go around 


claiming to have invented the whecl. 

TURNER: Well, I’m not claiming that we've. 
invented the wheel 
PLAYBOY: Close. When CNN went on the 
you called it “the greatest achi 
in the annals of journalism 
TURNER: I really believe that. In the history 
of journalism, journalism has tried to 
accomplish two things: one, to report the 
news; two, to report it quickly. The news- 
paper that got out on the street first with 
the story was ahcad. In television, we beat 
the networks all the time, because they 
won't interrupt their regularly scheduled 
programing when there's a bulletin— 
unless it's a Presidentia assination 
attempt or something like that. We're re- 
porting the news as it happens, and that 
has never happened before in the history of 
the world on television. Never before. And 
you can't get the news faster than when it's 
happening. Time magazine runs on a one- 
week delay and rt wmo runs on а six- 
month delay 
PLAYBOY: Wait а minute—on the really big 
мш, the networks will always interrupt 
programing. On the Reagan-assassination 


evement 


“We're reporting the news 
as it happens, and that's 
never happened before in 
the history of the world 
on television.” 


tempt, you were not the first one on the 
air with the story. 
TURNER: That's because our cameras were 
inside the hotel, carrying his specch to the 
United Auto Workers—/ive. ABC's cam- 
eras were outside, waiting to see if any- 
body would shoot him. So we carried his 
speech and they got his being shot because 
all they wanted for their newscast was 
him waving to the crowd as he walked oi 
We cover the substance and all the other 
networks want is the sensational. While we 
carry his speech, they’re running soap 
operas or Charlie's Angels. 
PLAYBOY: The traditional network w 
would be that you've got it all wrong: 
You're in there covering a speech that 
maybe 12 people in the entire countr 
about while their reporters are sitting 
side waiting for the one story that, if it 
happens, everybody will care about 
TURNER: Do you know what you just said? 
You just said that only 12 people care 
about what the President says. Thats a 
sad, sad commentary. 
PLAYBOY: What if you have no interest in 
that speech at that moment? We're busy in 
the middle of the day, and so are you 
TURNER: If Га had the time and had the 


choice between two game shows and a 
soap opera and the President speaking to 
the U.A.W., Га have watched the Pre 
dent speaking to the U.A.W. 

PLAYBOY: That's very high-sounding, con- 
sidering that when you do get a hot stor 
you save it for your prime-time evening 
news show, just as the networks do. James 
Alan Miklaszewski's exclusive report on 
American advisors’ carrying rifles in El 
Salvador was the higgest news scoop CNN 
has had so far. But it was held in secrecy 
for prime time, then was put on the 
pardon, on the cable—with great fanfare. 
TURNER: When you're out in the fickl in a 
foreign country, you don't always have ac- 
cess to an carth station [for satellite trans- 
mission] to get the story back. In a place 
like El Salvador, usually ABC and CBS 
and NBC arc therc and have their regular 
time scheduled on the satellite. But we 
might . . . that story didn't have to be 
broken in the middle of the d: 
PLAYBOY: So you're doing essentially the 
same thing that’s always been done. 
TURNER: We're trying to make it as i 
teresting and as exciting as we can. 
PLAYBOY: So is Van Gordon Sauter, the 
head of CBS News. 

TURNER: That's truc, but we've got a much 
bigger canvas to paint on than Sauter. 
s. He's painting on a little page and 
we've got the whole wall to paint on. 
PLAYBOY: You've said that the networks? 
coverage of Vietnam was anti-American. 
Do you think Miklaszewski’s report was 
anti-American? 
TURNER: No. .. . 
PLAYBOY: Well, 
th 


ims 


dc 


it amounted to the same 
ig—reporting news our Government 
might not like. Whats the difference? 
TURNER: Balance. All you've got to do is 
ask Norman Lear. Ask anybody. 
PLAYBOY: Norman Lear, the produce 
What does he have to do with it? 
TURNER: Norman Lear likes CNN. He told 
me so. He’s a pretty good man as far as 
judging the quality and fairness of TV. 
PLAYBOY: That's not what we were discuss- 
ing. Lear never complained that the 


networks were anti-American in their 
Victnam-war coverage. 
TURNER: Well, anyway, the American 


people support me. CNN is good for 
the American people. 

PLAYBOY: Around the networks, they claim 
you bootleg satellite news footage: 

TURNER: Oh. that’s done all the time by 
everybody. 
too. I think we have permission from ABC 
id NBC, and they have permission to use 
our stuff. 

PLAYBOY: In one case ~an exclusive ABC 
interview with Lebanese president Amin 
Gemayel—it was said that used 
ABC's footage in promos lor your own 
Prime News. 

TURNER: That's possible. 

PLAYBOY: In another case, ABC sent you a 
telegram and said, “Cut this out.” 


The networks use our stuif, 


you 


65 


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100 


PLAYBOY 


TURNER: All right, that’s possible, too. 
PLAYBOY: So you didn’t have permission. 
TURNER: When you're on 24 hours a day 
live, you're going to. - . . You know, we 
have made some mistakes. 

[Turner, who was suffering from a cold, 
became irritated with the questioning at this 
point and cut off the interview. It was agreed 
that he and Range would meet again the fol- 
lowing week in Atlanta and would fly 
together to Washington to continue the inter- 
view on the airplane. 

[When Range met him at the Atlanta air- 
port, Turner was in a foul mood. “I'm not 
going to be interviewed tonight,” he said. “Be 
smart—don’t be a dummy. Im nol going to 
answer a whole bunch of lechnical questions, 
In many ways, 1 don't know how the company 
works. 1 watch it; I like it. But if you're just 
going to ask a whole bunch of negative ques- 
lions, forgel it. Go to ABC. I won't do the in- 
leruiew. 

[During the flight to Washington, Tur- 
ner's mood fluctuated radically from friendli- 
ness to sudden hostility, He described as a 
kind of living hell his constant lobbying in 
Washington to fend off those who would 
make life harder for a cable programer. He 
seemed a driven, ravaged man, and yel a 
man who continually sought more of the same 
punishment. In the bad moments, he attacked 
the interviewer and rejected the interview: 
“Lue been on the cover of Time. 1 don't need 
your sleazy magazine." At other moments, he 
became the voluble, charming and self- 
infatuated Turner of his public image. Al the 
end of the flight, Turner had again mel- 
lowed, and after much friendly conversation 
that remained off the record, it was agreed 
that the interview would be resumed several 
weeks later. 

[There were two trips and several abrupt 
cancellations before the interview was re- 
sumed. Turner finally invited Range to 
accompany him to Las Vegas and talk on the 
plane. Turner arrived at the Atlanta airport 
with his close friend and frequent traveling 
companion Liz Wickersham, the pretty hostess 
of the WTBS show “The Lighter Side.” The 
airline upgraded all three of their tickets to 
first-class, a courtesy Turner is often given. 
The interview picked up as the flight left 
Alania.] 

PLAYBOY: You caused a flurry in the te 
sion world last winter when you went to 
New York with the idea of merging your 
company, Turner Broadcasting Sys 
with one of the major networks. 
thought you kept that kind of talk secret. 
TURNER: Thats one of the problems. I 
haven't started wearing disguises yet. I 
ought to wear a kind of Humphrey Bog: 
is trench coat with the collar 
turned up. Like Peter Sellers in The Pink 
Panther. Vd wear а hat pulled down and 
dark glasses. I'd grow a beard and sl 
off my mustache. Га wear a stocking cap 
over my head and a sweater. And sneak- 
ers. And glove 
PLAYBOY: Did you have serious talks? 
TURNER: In the case of two of the networks, 
we were turned down. "They just said they 


e 


figured out that I would be the largest 
shareholder in the company, and that was 
all they needed to know. 

PLAYBOY: Turner Broadcasting System is 
worth only $200,000,000 to $300,000,000. 
How could you become the largest share- 
holder in a merger with a company ten 
times that size? 

TURNER: Because I own 87 percent of my 
company. Bill Paley [recently retired 
chairman of CBS] owns only about six 
percent of CBS?’ stock, I think. 

PLAYBOY: But you still wouldn't have the 
almost total control you now enjoy with 
your own company. Why do you want to 
merge with a network? 
TURNER: Because starting a really viable 
fourth network is a lot harder. The net- 
works have those owned-and-operated sta- 
tions in the biggest markets: New York, 
Chicago and Los Angeles. They reach one 
fourth of the American market right there. 
That's why we're also talking with Met- 
media—it owns stations in the major 
markets. You've got to have money to stay 
in business. 

PLAYBOY: But isn’t taking over one of the 
major national networks a big leap for 
your company? 


"I once said the worst enemies 
the U.S. ever faced weren't 
the Nazis but the network 
bosses. CBS’ William Paley 
didn’t deny the charge. 
Why not?” 


cable-network business. I have three cable 
networks, one radio network and two tele- 
vision stations. 
think we're already the largest synd 
of television programing in the Un 
States. The figure is kicked up there by the 
overnight coverage in many places. But we 
can still reach only 31 percent of the homes 
in the country. We're in the land of the 


giants. I'm just like a little mouse rui 


In. nun 


to be sure they don't step on me. 
PLAYBOY: Would it be healthy to have the 
largest cable network in combination with 
one of the largest broadcast networks? 
TURNER: That’s what you've got now. A 
s in combination with Westinghou: 
compete with us with the Satellite News 
Channel. Their combination with Enter- 
tainment & Sports Programing Network is 
ast us in sports. ESPN started as an 
independent company. But then it began 
losing a lot of money, even though it was 
owned by Getty Oil, which is a multibil- 
lion-dollar company. So ABC took a 49 


percent option and committed millions 
and millions to it. 

PLAYBOY: What's wrong with that? 
TURNER: Thats how the networks really 
hurt us. When the United States Football 
League got started, it needed a major net- 
work contract. ABC said, “OK, well car- 
ry your games.” We called the U 
and said we'd like to bid, too. But it turned 
out that ABC had made it a condition of 
their carrying the games that if the 
U.S.F.L. were going to do any cable 
games, they had to be on ESPN, not on 
"Tumer's network. By using its cable net- 
work, ABC made a deal with ESPN for 
cable rights. We were frozen out. We 
weren't even allowed a meaningful bid. I'd 
like to have the ability to do that same sort. 
of thing. 

PLAYBOY: Getting back for a mom 
CBS and Paley, in an à 
Broadcasting maga: 
called Paley “a failure. 
“a cheap whorchouse" that had been 
aken over by the sleaze artists." If you 
believe that, why would you want to merge 
with such a network? 

TURNER: If I was part of CBS, with billions 
of dollars behind me, then I would have 
size. I would be able to meet the others in 
the field with equal resources. I could fight 
a pitched batile with them. Right now, I 
can't. It would be like getting supplies and 
getting reinforcements. I would like to 


you 
You said CBS was 


come down out of the hills and meet them 
on the battlefields. 


have to admit . . . it was easy to 
ever having met him, because 
is up in years now. 

PLAYBOY: Do you honestly feel that CBS is 
a cheap whorehouse? 

TURNER: Pm a human being, just like 
everybody else. I'm up some days and 
down others. Some days, I just refuse com- 
ment. If Um feeling a little down, E won't 
. But if Pm really up, PI let it 
all hang out. 1 do have a slight propensity 
to put my foot in my mouth. 

But those are extremely strong, strong 
words. You know, several years ago, I said 
that the network presidents were guilty of 
treason and all should be lined up and shot 
after a court-martial. 
PLAYBO: гіу strong stuff. 
TURNER: 15 that 
before 7000 members of the Veterans of 
Foreign Wars and they gave me a standing 
ovation. I the worst enemies that the 
United States ever faced were not the 
and the Japanese in World War Two 

re living among us today and run- 
ning the three networks. 
PLAYBOY: Do you really believe that? 
TURNER: Well, when Paley was read those 
comments and was asked what he thought 
about Turner, he was very gracious 
said I had done a good job. But he did not 
(continued on page 154) 


say anythin 


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SCULPTURE BY SERGE JOUMEAU 


bowen scoffed at their 
superstitions —until 
something happened he 
just couldn't explain 


IN THE fading darkness, the small boats, 
12 in all, were dragged into the water 
from the camp on Southwest Cay. 
Masts were stepped quickly and the 
sails unfurled in the silence of the cor- 
al lagoon. Wind-filled and ghost-white, 
they rounded the leeward edge of the 
cay and scattered in all directions 
across the fishing banks. 

Bowen Delavett, a marine biologist 
from the States, was in the bow of Mun- 
do's catboat, huddled against the cool 
dawn breeze. He and Gabriel faced 
each other, their knees bumping, but 
Gabriel lay back, relaxing, his arms 
spread out along the gunwales. Mundo 
was in the stern, his brown flesh sallow, 
his eyes and cheeks puffy—evidence 
that he had not slept well. Bowen 
hugged himself, his head down, shiver- 
ing as the veiled pastel sun rose behind 
him. A bird landed on his shoulder. 

“Doan move, mahn,” said Gabriel. 
“Daht is good luck.” 

The white man turned his head slow- 
ly to look at the bird. It was a green 
finch, little enough to fit in his hand. 
Through his T-shirt, Bowen felt the 
light, pricking pressure of the bird’s 


fiction 
By BOB SHACOCHIS 


claws as it balanced to the rock of the 
boat. 


“A bird never landed on me before,” 
he said. 

“Daht is good luck,” Gabriel in- 
sisted. “Good fah de boat.” 

The bird finttered from Bowen's 
shoulder to the gunwale and then 
hopped to the bottom of the boat, peck- 
ing at flecks of dried fish. It ran, 
rodentlike, under Gabriel’s seat, in and 
out of sight in the shadows. 

“Keep your head down now, Mistah 
Bone,” Mundo said. The word mistah 
was a joke, a mocking intimacy that 
Bowen had finally to accept. A 
friendship with Mundo had not been 
easily established. Delavett had come 
to Providence to study the sea turtles 
that were still numerous in the waters 
of the archipelago. Because of his 
junior rank at the university, his re- 
search grant was modest. He knew he 
would have to rely on the cooperation 
of the locals. His interviews with the 
fishermen had led him to Raimundo 
Bell, the man most respected on Provi- 
dence Island for his abilities in the wa- 
ter. Mundo was naturally suspicious of 


PLAYBOY 


72 


him at first, but Bowen was honest md 
persistent, offering to trade a seat in Mun- 
do's boat for a share of the everyday work. 
If it were a question of proving oneself, 
Bowen had done so, he hoped, through his 
sweat and dirtiness and exhaustion. The 
dillerence in the lives of the two men had 
gradually diminished and they had be- 
come close. Still, Bowen could not talk 
Mundo out of calling him Mistah or pro- 
nouncing it in a tone that underscored the 
temporary nature of their relationship. 

Mundo stood in the back of the boat, the 
two rudder lines gathered from behind 
him, held hands like the reins of 
a horse. he warned. Mundo 
was rarely more than laconic, and yet 
Gabriel ahvays responded precisely. Mun- 
do crouched down, dark and solid, steer- 
ing for extra wind. 

“Yes,” Gabriel answered, rising. “Goin” 
speedify directly, mahn.” 

He began to pull in the mainsheet. The 
boat heeled and pressed into the clear wa- 
ter, going faster, bracing the men against 
the windward hull. Mundo jibed the boat. 
Once the sail had luffed, Gabriel allowed 
the boom to swing over. The canvas in- 
haled again and held the air. Bowen sat up 
straight and repositioned his weight in the 
boat. He could see the sunrise now, law 
der towers of clouds lining up away from it. 
The light was like a warm hand on his face. 

Behind them, they heard the flapping of 
another sail as it spilled wind. "Look 
dere,” said Gabriel. “Ezekiel turnin’ 
ahcross, too.” 

“Бам bitch,’ Mundo grunted; and, 
twisting his head, he shouted back, “Eze- 
kicl, you old piece ah fuck, you think you 
cahn race me, mahn?” 

Ezekiel would not answer, nor would he 
look toward them. Within minutes, his 
boat had fallen far in their wake. Months 
before, Bowen had approached Ezekiel be- 
cause he heard the old fisherman had once 
caught a mulatto hawksbill, a crossbreed 
between a hawksbill and a green turtle 
that Delavett’s colleagues back in Miami 
insisted was only mythical, a tall tale. He 
wanted to prove them wrong. Mundo said 
he himself had shot a mulatto two years 
before, on the fishing banks in Serrana, 
and that he had seen the one Ezekiel had 
netted. When Bowen went to Ezckiel for 
verification, the old man was unintelligi 
ble, a pathetic figure who could not focus 
his memory. Bowen pitied him and ex- 
pressed his regret to Mundo. Mundo said, 
“Daht mahn steal from de mouth of he 
children. He beat de wife fah rum money. 
Doan feel sorry fah de devil, I tellin’ you. 

“Mundo, where you goin’, mahn 
Gabriel finally asked. Bowen had watched 
him fidgeting, bı ng up to the question 
until he was certain of their course. Ga- 
briel was a handsome man and knew it 
well, shaving his sideburns into broad 
flares and wearing a gold cross on a thin 
neck. He had once told 


n- 


chain around 


Bowen he was too good-looking to be a 
fisherman, that he would like to work i 
shop or as a waiter. But on Provi 
lost in the middle of the Caribbean Sea, 
there was no other work but fishing for a 
man who did not own land. Mundo didn’t 
seem to care, though. He loved the sea no 
matter how hard it worked him, no matter 
bow much trouble or sadness it brought 
into his life. 

“Mundo, you sleepin?” Gabriel s 

“Jewfish Hole,” Mundo said. “Headed 
up дам way.” 

“True? Not Five Shillin’ Cay?” 

Мо” 

Gabriel sucked his teeth and asked why 
not. Last night, during supper, they had 
discussed where they might fish today. 
Mundo had argued that if the wind stayed 
the way it was, they must sail for Five 
Shilling Cay or Aguadilla Reef instead of 
closer waters. That was fine with Bowen, 
because he wanted to go ashore on the cay 
and see what there was in a place where 
man never came. 

"Light bulb, whiskey bottle, piece ah 
plahstic baby, dead, stinky stuff ahnd 
birds," Mundo told him. Maybe a mulatto 
hawksbill, too, Bowen added, and Mundo 
had said, “De malatta cahn be anywhere, 
mahn. Daht’s only luck.” 

“Mundo, wake up now. Dis a bahd 
wind fah Jewfish Hole: 

Mundo peered at them both through 
hooded eyes. “I get a sign.” he said. 
Bowen looked at him curiously, wondering 
what he was talking about. Mundo stared 
past him, out of the boat, measuring the 
waters of Serrana as if those 80 square 
miles of unmarked Е were city streets 
he had grown up on. He steered several 
degrees off the wind; Gabriel automatical- 
ly trimmed the sail. 
“So you get a si 


ign, Mundo?” Gabriel 


that?” Bowen wanted to know. 
Es smiled, because he was not surc if thc 
g with each other. 
Miedo qus tao serious andl impassive this 
ig. He should have been singing. He 
liked to sing when they were sailing: Jim 
Reeves, Bing-Bing, salsa, anything. 

“I get a dream lahst night daht was a 


Bowen frowned at that revelation. Back 
on Providence, Mundo didn't play the lot- 
tery, so he never talked about his dream 
like those who did. The town would wake 
up in the morning and somebody would be 
saying he had had a dream, and then the 

ger- 


dream book would be consulted, a fi 
worn copy published in Harlem in 1928, 


and t 
you, a white horse is 
two 


c dreams figured out. “No, I tel 
de white cow 
onc onc. In 


white cov 2 Ol, | ho! De lady come first, so 
daht six one one two six. No, I tellin’ you, 
is de lady come first, mahn, not de cow. If 


blahck on de cow, daht six two 
would be sent running to Alva 
buy the number. But Mundo always said 
the lottery was foolish. 

Bowen dipped his hand over the side to 
feel the water. He liked the quiet, surging 
speed of the catboat, the water as trans- 
parent as lab alcohol, the white and rose 
and amber colors of the bottom refracted 
and blurry, just colors streaming by. “Is 
that so?" he asked. “You had a dream?" 
Mundo said yeah. 

“I didn't know you dreamed, Mundo,” 
Bowen said. “Did you dream you saw a 
white lady wearing a white dress riding a 
white jackass? 
“Mistah Bone think you makin’ joke, 
undo,” said Gabriel. “He believe you 
jokifyin” 

Mundo's cyes sparked, showing Bowen 
the hubris he saw in many black men. “Dis 
a sign fah dis place only,” he replied harsh- 
ly. He was moodicr than Bowen had ever 
scen him. This place, Bowen thought. This 
place wasn't a place at all. It was wide 
open. It was openness, sunlight shattered 
blue and unstopped in all directions. 
"There was another world bencath, a mint- 
cool wilderness, treacherous and lush; but 
here on the surface, the boat pushed into 
an empty seascape. 

“No kidding?" Bowen asked. 

“No.” 

"What's the sign?” 

“Fuck a mahn.” 

“Oh, yeah?” Bowen said incredulously. 

“Fuck a mahn.” 

“раһ a funny sign, Mu 
briel. 

“Whats he talking about?" Bowen 
asked Gabriel almost incidentally, squint- 
ing beyond him to study Mundo. His skin 
slicker now in the sun, the light stuck 
across Mundo's narrow lace in sharp 
pieces, leaving him cheekbones but no 
checks and emphasizing his stolid mouth, 
lips parted but no teeth visible. Bowen ex- 
pected Mundo to smile at him, but he 
didn't. His distance seemed acted out, like 
part of a magician’s masquerade. He's 
playing with me, Bowen thought. No, he 
decided, looking at him again, he’s serious. 
After almost six months with Mundo, 
Bowen felt himself a stranger once morc. 

“So, Mundo, you fuck a mahn, ch?" 
Gabriel said. 

“Yeah, boy,’ Mundo answered. He be- 
gan to uncurl his arms and legs from the 
tight bal which he sat and warmed up 
to his story. “I dream I fuck a mahn. I 
stayin’ in Costa Rica, in Puerto 
when I play basebahll in de league: 
I stayin’ in dis residencia. Dis girlie mahn 
come to visit wit’ a bottle of aguardiente. 
We drink de bottle, den 1 fuck him." 

“Oh, ho,” said Gabriel, as if he were 

(continued on page 80) 


do,” said Ga- 


“1 wouldn't say we fell head over heels in love, 
but we did try some new positions." 


74 


FOR MANY YEARS, Fort Lauderdale was a sleepy little oceanside 
town. Then it started to host an annual Ivy League spring swim 
meet. The swimmers started bringing their girlfriends, their 
roommates, their cousins—even total strangers—and the words 
forming on everyone's lips were, “Hey, Bud, let’s party.” And so, 
throughout each successive year, the party kept growing. The 
onslaught begins in early spring—and as the colleges up North 
stagger their spring breaks, more and more students stagger onto 
the warm beaches down South. At Fort Lauderdale, though, the 
party continues all year long. The locus of all this hilarity is The 
Strip—a necklace of bars along Route AIA: Summers, Candy 


PERMANENT 
VACATION 


welcome to the girl-watching capital of the free world 


Store, The Button. Those are their current names; the man- 
agement reserves the right to change titles without notice. Flo- 
ridians—even temporary ones—don’t require much of an 
occasion to throw a party. During the spring, the advent of day- 
light is sufficient reason for one to spontaneously combust. Girls, 
as you may already have discovered, behave differently on vaca- 
tion. And Fort Lauderdale offers an opportunity for young 
female students to explore a new relationship between them- 
selves and their breasts. That process is encouraged by their male 
colleagues, who, as students themselves, think of college and its 
vacations as fountains of knowledge where everyone goes to drink. 


Just how does everyone know where to con- 
gregate for the afternoon and evening 
events? Simple. The bar called Summers, for 
exomple, hires a plane with a trailing banner 
proclaiming root pae АГ 4 to strofe the 
beaches. The party is an excuse for a series of 
beer-chugging contests and then the main 
event: the wet-T-shirt competitian. As you can 
see here, anybody can enter the contest, and 
most of the shirts don't stay on for very long. 


Bars often sponsor competitions between rival 
schools. Hence, even though Florido Stote 
moy have prevoiled agoinst the University of 
Florido during the footboll seoson, more 
‘aggressively fought contests are woged to de- 
termine which student body con better quaff 
suds in quontity ond which school has с larger 
endowment. All year round, otherwise sensi- 
ble women will whip it out for their olmo mo- 
ter when there is a cruciol principle ot stoke. 


Peer-group pressure apparently works won- 
ders to cure shyness. Encouraging chants 
from hundreds of schoolmates don’t hurt, 
either. The mix of women is impressive. You 
go! your cheerleaders, your bookmorms, 


your local talent, your just plain folks. The 
only restriction—ct Sumi 
thot you keep your pants on. And whi 


strictly adhered to, more women wear fab- 
rics that, when wet, let the sun right in. 


I's easy to feel good about yourself when so 
many others feel good about your self. That is 
part of the reoson so many women come ovt 
of their shells and accept the accolodes of the 
crowd. The exercise is rewarding. Our infor- 
mal poll suggests thot first-time amateurs ore 
more likely to win the contests than those who 
have entered before. Additional points are 
granted to those who exhibit grace under 
fire and abundance under their clothes. 


How con we adequately describe the exhil- 
orction of a wet-T-shirt contest? Imagine ice- 
cold water poured fram a pitcher dawn your 
front. Kind of perks things up, doesn't it? 
Well, its more thon just refreshing; it's 


uniquely American. Ws o lough in the foce of 
the industrial slump. It's thumbing one's nase 
ot impart quotas. It’s a folk dance ta ће con- 
tinving vitality of the United States. It makes 
leisure time meaningful. And it's caffeine-free. 


PLAYBOY 


80 


MUNDOS SIGN 


(continued from page 72) 


“Dis sign mean I mus’ shoot a big he hawksbill, 


Mundo said emphatically. 


» 


saying, “Yes, I sec." 

Mundo navigated the boat through a 
porcelain-blue channel that furrowed be- 
tween two ridges of coral. Outside the reef, 
the water deepened gradually, a darkening 
translucence. The waves rose to one third 
the height of the mast. They were on the 
open sea now, outside the coral walls, The 
faraway sail of Ezckiel’s boat had di: 
appeared. Mundo followed the reef north- 
ward. Already the sun was strong, and 
Bowen was acutely aware of its power to 
stupefy. Before the words dried up in his 
mouth and his mind muddled, he wanted 
to know what it was about the dream that 
meant something to Mundo. 

“You dreamed you fucked a man,” he 
said cautiously. “What does that mean? 
What kind ofa sign is that?” 

A good one,” replied Mundo. 

The bird reappeared on Mundo’s knee. 
He made a quick grab for it, but the finch 
was in the air, scooting low over the waves. 

“Come again next day,” Gabriel called 
after it. The bird hooked east toward 
whatever land might lay that way. The 
mystery had become too absurd for 
Bowen. He mimicked Alvaro the bookie 
and his high, rapid voice, likea little dog’s: 
“Costa Rica, dat’s two oh one; mon's arsc- 
hole, dat's naught; drinkin’ aguardiente, 
dat's oh oh oh. Boy, you get a nice num- 
bah dere, Mundo. Put a fivah on it, mon.” 

Mundo's weak smile patronized Bowen 
He blinked ostentatiously, widening his 
hidden eyes for the first time that morning, 
as if only now he had reason to come 
awake, to come away from the dream. 

“No, let me tell you, Mistah Bone. Dis 
sign mean I mus’ shoot a big he hawks- 
bill," Mundo said emphatically. He raised 
his thick right forearm. His fist 
clenched, the dark muscles flexed from 
elbow to wrist. “Big!” he said. 

“Mistah Bone doan believe,” said Ga- 
briel in a sad, false voice. He nodded at 
Bowen. “He is а sci-ahnce mahn. He only 
see sci-alince." Then he laughed, pushing 
Bowen's knee good-naturedly. 

Bowen was silent. It sounded as if Mun- 
do were bragging, but he did not trust that 
perception; Mundo's own conviction, his 
tone of inevitability, had undercut the pre- 


posterousncss of the words. Bowen didn’t 
know what to think. Sometimes he thought 
he knew everything there was to know 


i 


about Mundo. Mundo was strong, 
unshakable. He never wasted a minute; he 
was a clock ticking perfectly on time. He 
could lie around all day in the sun with an. 
unlit cigarette in his mouth and that would 
be the right thing to do. He had never 


wanted anything from Bowen—perhaps 
that was why they had become friends. 
Bowen had first offered Mundo a little 
money to take him in the boat and help 
him keep track of how many turtles were 
being caught by the islanders. Not only 
had Mundo refused payment, he insisted 
on giving the scientist one third of the 
earnings of the boat as long as Bowen 
worked asan equal. Bowen knew the black 
man was curious about him, as if Mundo, 
too, welcomed the opportunity to study 
something of interest. 

Hearing Mundo and Gabriel talk about 
the sign made Bowen feel for a moment 
that he had lost all contact with them. He 
leaned forward carnestly, resting his fore- 
arms across his bare thighs. He could not 
resist speaking and yet he hesitated, sure 
that he was being drawn into a situation 
full of trouble. 

Finally, he asked, “Tell me, you can 
shoot a hawksbill turtle because you 
dreamed you assholed somebody?” An im- 
age of the dream flicked through his mind: 
Mundo bent over slim, tar-black buttocl 
mounting like a beast; the “gi 
in a stupor, slurring a languid, corrupt 
Castilian. How is that?” 

“How you mean, mahn?” Mundo 
looked keenly at Bowen, a challenging 
eyebrow cocked, teasing him with a 
twisted smile, a taunting, boyish delight, 
ready to invite Bowen into his house and 
then beat him at dominoes all night long. 
“You evah fuck a mahn, Mistah Bone?" 
Vo," Bowen said immediately. He was 
surprised that the question had embar- 
rassed him so easily, as if it exposed a level 
of manhood he had not achieved. 

“Mistah Bone wahnt to investigate ev- 
ting, but he doan fuck a mahn yet?” 
Gabriel said, his voice scaling to a parody 
of a question. 

Some men just be like womahn. Ga- 
bricl— right?" 

“Daht’s true. It's de same, mahn.” 

“Oh, Christ," Bowen said, shaking his 
head slowly. He tried to play along. “Let's 
let it all out,” he said facetiously 

“So, Mistah Bone,” Mundo continued, 
“you evah take a womahn like daht?” 

“My God.” 

“You doan like it?” 

Bowen folded his arms across his chest 
and refused to answer. There were pieces 
imself that he did not wish to share, 
a game. To be forced to that 
realization, to admit that something in 
him would instinctively retreat into rock, 
like а sea anemone, made him angry. 

“Mistah Bonc,” Mundo said. “When 


we reach bahck to Providence, we find you 
amahn to fuck. 

Gabriel winked at Bower 
to be in de ahss, you know. 

“No, thanks," Bowen answered coolly. 
“You asshole. 

Separating himself from the conversa- 
tion, Mundo came up off his seat to look 
around. Bowen wondered how he could 
know where they were when there was 
absolutely nothing out there to sight on. 
Mundo sat back down, rocking rhyth- 
mically from side to side, letting the waves 
loosen his shoulders and neck, dancing 
with the sca. 

“Fuck, fucka, fucka mahn,” he chanted. 

“Sail the boat.” 
like a bitch right now." 
nan bullshit. Jungle stuff.” 

“Uh-oh, Mundo. Mistah Bone vexed 
now wit" dis dream bodderation.” 
ht. All right. Enough," Bowen 
‘Go shoot your turtle. You do 
that trick, then PI start fucking men. 
Maybe you first, Gabriel.” 

“Oh, me God, Mundo,” Gabriel 
laughed. “Look what you talk M 
Bone into.” 

“He gettin’ de picture now, bo 
do said. “You doan worry, 
tah Bone lookin’ hahd to fuck dis bunch ah 
guys bahck in de States who say malatta 
hawksbill a make-believe.” 

“You're damn right I got the picture 
now, So Ict’s drop it.” Bowen resented h 
ing his ambition described through such a 
coarse metaphor, but now that the point 
had been made, he felt comfortable again 
with the two black men. To his relief, 
Mundo said nothing more but sat quictly, 
like a schoolboy, with an expression of 
overbearing innocence. 

They sailed for another 20 minutes, cut- 
ting progressively nearer to the reef until 
they were only yards away from the foam 
left behind by the waves that broke across 
the shallow coral. Then the reef bowled in- 
ward, pinched by a channel that they rode 
through into calmer water, After a short 
stance, Mundo tacked back toward the 
ide of the main reef, and when they 
were a couple of miles down-current from 
the channel, he steered into the wind. 

"Come, you workin’ today, mahn?” 
Mundo called. Bowen looked at him stu- 
pidly. He had let himself fall into a daze, 
the light, like thick crystals growing on the 
water, overcoming him. His deeply tanned 
skin felt scratchy and sore and sticky. 

“Get de sail, mahn. Quick.” 

Bowen jerked himself out of his lethargy 
and stood up, holding the gunwales for 
balance. He concentrated on his equilib- 
rium, judging how the water moved the 
boat until he was sure of himself, straight- 
ened up and then leaped from the bottom 
of the boat to his seat. He grabbed the 
mast with one hand and extended the 
other one out toward Gabriel. Gabriel 

(continued on page 144) 


. “Doan have 


"Fred! Fred! My crotchless panties just arrived!" 


81 


NAV Y- 
NOT A JOB, 
AN ADVENTURE 


the adman’s slogan 
makes it sound 
so nice—until you discover 
that one of the 
adventures could be death 
at the hands of 
your fellow sailors 


article 


By BRUCE HENDERSON 


Tr was A warm and clear spring day in Detroit, but 
for Bill Trerice, even the sunniest day seemed dark. 
He had just gotten off the graveyard shift at Chrys- 
ler and had made his regular pilgrimage to Henry 
Ford Hospital to visit his wife, Irene, who lay dying 
of uterine cancer. Afterward, drained and tired, Bill 
dropped in on his daughter Valerie, а licensed prac- 
tical nurse who lived near the hospital. It was to be 
a pleasant visit — Valerie and her husband had been 
a source of comfort during Irenc's illness. They were 
chatting in the kitchen when the phone rang. 

The call was from a woman who lived next door 
to Bill and Irene in the small suburb of Algonac. 
Two uniformed Navy officers had come to her 
house after failing to find anyone at home at the 
Trerices’, and the neighbor, guessing that Bill had 
followed usual routine, had called him at Valer- 
ie's. Within seconds, he was on the phone with a 
Navy chaplain. 

“We would like to meet with you, Mr. Trerice. 
said the officer. “Either here at your home or in 
Detroit if it’s more convenient.” 

Bill's mind reeled. Even in peacetime, a visit from 
a Navy chaplain could mean only one thing. Bill's 
son Paul, a plane captain on the U.S.S. Ranger, was 
dead. 

“Your son suffered heatstroke after exercise,” said 
the chaplain. “He went into cardiac arrest.” 

Death is often greeted with disbelief, but, for Bill, 
this one was even more difficult to comprehend. 
Paul, at 6'5" and 230 pounds, was a 21-year-old man 
with the heart of a lion. He had been home only 
weeks before to visit his ailing mother and had never 
looked healthier. If he had been hit by an airplane 
or had been blown overboard, it might be easier to 
understand. But heatstroke? Cardiac arrest? 

“Му boy died of a heart attack?" asked Bill in- 
credulously. 

“Unfortunately, уез,” said the chaplain, “follow- 
ing exercise while the ship was at Subic Bay in the 
Philippines. These things are difficult to explain 
sometimes.” 

Tears came to Bill’s eyes and he felt a rage form- 
ing. “1 want a full explanation!” he cried. “I want to 
know how my son died.” 

“Of course,” replied the chaplain. “The C.O. of 
the Ranger will be sending you a wire. Details are 
available to him that I don't have.” 

Bill hung up and fell into his daughter's arms. 
Together they wept as Bill gathered his strength to 
deal with the obligations that accompany death. He 
would have to tell Irene, of course, and the rest of 
the family, as well as Paul's friends. 

And he would have to find out exactly how hisson 
had died. It was a quest that would change Bill 
Trerice’s Ше and shake the U.S. Navy to its core. 

5 

The first step in unraveling the mystery of Paul's 
death occurred to Bill only hours after he had re- 
ceived the news. As a 13-year veteran of the Air 
Force, he was familiar with the often frustrating 
military protocol and bureaucracy that surround 
such cvents, so hc sent a wire to tain Dan A. 
Pedersen, commanding officer of the U.S.S. Ranger, 
asking for details. The (continued on page 86) 


ILLUSTRATION BY ERALDO CARUGATI 


NO-SWEAT 


let the good times roll in colorful and trim workout togs 


attire Ву HOLLIS WAYNE 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRUCE AYRES 


Above left to right: The easy rider at the rear af our bicycle built for five 
is caasting home in the latest sweats that include a catton/acrylic cardi- 
gan, by Union Bay Sportswear, $30; cotton sweat shirt, $35, plus sweat 
ponts with side striping, $35, both by Margan Ayres far Squash; cotton 
socks, by Calvin Klein, $10; ond leather workout boots, by Zadiac, 
about $65. The fifth-in-command aboard the bike has on a striped cot- 
ton fleece-lined pullover, by Emanuel Ungaro, about $60; cotton/ 


polyester sweat ponts, by Camp Beverly Hills, $24.95; cotton boot 
socks, by Calvin Klein, $10; and canvos-ond-suede court shoes, by 
Brooks Shoe, $24.95. (Those sporty shades an his forehead are by Car- 
rera Sunglasses, $39.50.) The next pedal pusher likes с cottan knit pull- 
over, $27, coupled with cotton knit drawstring ponts with thigh zip 
pockets, $28, both by Fresh Squeeze; cotton short-sleeved pullover, by 
Colvin Klein, $26.50; and canvas high-top sneakers, by Converse, 


S WW EAT S 


WHEN GOD CREATED sweat clothes, He made them gray, because 
what else would be the color of sweat? And since it wasn't possi- 
ble to suffer in style, anybody who was into staying fit took to the 
bike trails, jogging paths and exercise rooms in gear that had all 
the élan of a feed sack. Now the powers behind the fashion 
renaissance that brought cut, color and comfort to men’s casual- 
wear have discovered that people who like to keep in shape aren't 


about $21. Black is the calar of the man in the middle's outfit; it includes 
а cotton/polyester crew-neck sweat shirt, $42.50, plus cottan sweat 
shorts, $34, cotton piqué knit shirt, $32, and cotton/nylon socks, $5, all 
by Calvin Klein; plus perforated-leather ankle boots, by Zodiac, about 
$82. The next fellow is making his move in a sleeveless zip-front sweat 
shirt, about $30, and a rugby-type shirt with elbow patches and a Vel- 
cra-closure placket, about $33, both by NEXXI bi ebe; cottan/polyester 


necessarily masochistic about their workout clothes. Sweats tai- 
lored to fit have come out of the locker rooms and onto the 
streets. Yes, they have the feel of cotton but are toughened up 
with acrylic and polyester to give them more shape. All those 
peacocks in the park didn't escape from the zoo. They're just har- 
bingers of fall's sweat-fishion shades, including dusty plum, 
teal and just about every other color in the rainbow. Smashing! 


sweat pants, by Pierre Cardin, about $38; Orlon/acrylic crew socks, by 
Henry Grethel for Camp Hosiery, $5; and leather sneokers, by Zodiac, 
about $68. The lucky lead-off man has on a cotton/Acrilan fleece bose- 
ball-type jacket with slash pockets, by Roué, $55; boat-neck shart- 
sleeved T-shirt, $27.50, and сона shorts, $18, both from Todd 1 by Cris 
Rodriguez; crew socks, by Camp Hosiery, $4; ond nylon sneakers with 
suede trim, by FootJoy, $31. (All the guys’ watches are by Tournecu-) 


85 


PLAYBOY 


TODAY'S NAV 


(continued from page 83) 


“Don’t let them get away with it, Mr. Trerice . . . 


there's too much brutality aboard that ship. 


3» 


reply came a few days later: 


We on Ranger want answers as 
badly as your message implies you 
do. . . . On 6 April 1981, Paul 
appeared . . . before the С.О. of [his 
squadron] for deserting an assigned 
watch. Commander Baker 
awarded him 30 days’ correctional 
custody . . . deferred until 11 April 
while the ship was in Hong Kong. In 
the interim, Paul was placed in re- 
stricted-liberty status. Between the 
sixth and the llth of April, Paul 
violated his restri . by leaving 
the ship without authority. The three 
days’ bread and water awarded оп... 
11 April was a result of your son's re- 
fusal to participate in our retraining 
facility [Correctional Custody Unit] 
This C.C.U. effort has nothing to 
do with the brig but is totally sepa- 
rate and is a group boot-camp-type 
effort. . . . Actually, your son was on 
bread and water only about 48 hours. 
It is mainly a period of time alone for 
aman to think and reconsider. . . . 

The day of his death was preceded 
by eight hours’ res He was 
awakened at 0500 reveille. Cleanup, 
breakfast and personnel inspection 
lasted until about 0730, at which time 
he and eight other trainees were taken 
up to the flight deck for routine one- 
hour jog/calisthenics period. Your 
son completed the required run but 
refused to do the exercises. The temp. 
was 78 and 75 percent humidity 
with five knots’ wind. At present, it 
remains undetermined why he re- 
fused. . . . He was allowed to lay in a 
face-down reclining position for 
approx. 25 minutes while the others 
completed the exercise. After the ex- 
ercise, they were all taken below to 
shower. The awardees, or trainees, 
are constantly supervised. Your son 
took a shower and then complained of 
earaches and numbness in his hands 
and eed to go to medical. While 
. he became verbally 
die. combative and physically 
threat to the C.C.U. supervisor. 
He was subdued and restrained by 
forced to lay down, at 
ne his medical problem be- 
me apparent to all. Corpsmen were 
woned immediately and resus- 
citation and C.P.R. were started. Two 
physicians . . . also ipated in the 
effort to revive yor 

The main que solved is 
why a strong, physically fit, 21-усаг- 


old man in apparent good health 
should die after limited exercise con- 
sisting of approx. 20 minutes of jog- 
ig under reasonable temperature 
and conditions. . . . I have asked for a 
toxicology report as part of the au- 
topsy. I believe it would be 
appropriate to speculate on possible 
drug or alcohol involvement in your 
son's death at this time. . . . 


Bill reread the wire until he had it 
tually memorized. But the more he read it, 
the more confused he became. It would be 
inappropriate to speculate on possible drug or 
alcohol involvement in your son's death at 
this time. If it were inappropriate, why 
bring it up? Besides, how could Paul have 
being “constantly super- 
in both the C.C.U. and the brig? He 
became verbally abusive, combative and phys- 
ically threatening to the C.C.U. supervisor 
Paul had a big man's sell-assuranc 
Although he wasn't Bill's natural son— 
Bill had adopted all three of Irene's chil- 
dren from a previous marriage when Paul 
was still an infant—the two men shared an 
imposing physical quality. And since he 
was the only father Paul had ever known, 
Bill had made ita point to teach his son an 
awareness of his size and strength that 
would allow him to walk away from a 
fight. If it were true that Paul had become 
belligerent, thought Bill, he must have 
been pushed beyond reason 

The next day, another message arrived, 
this one from the C.O. of Paul's squadron: 


‘Those of us who knew Paul were 
stunned by his untimely death. . . . He 
was a warmhearted young man [who] 
got along well with the other men in 
his division. Paul came to the Navy 
because he wanted to do something 
good for himself and for his country. 
And he has. He was learning his job 
in the line division of our squadron. 
He had qualified himself as a desig- 
nated plane captain, a level of profes- 
sional achievement in his work that 
reflects а considerable personal effort 
by him.... 


Bill felt only more confusion. One mes- 
sage subtly portrayed Paul as a malcon- 
tent who had been in trouble several times 
before his death. The other said he had 
been a good sailor who had received a de- 
served promotion. 

Several days later, on Easter mom 
Bill met Paul’s body at De 
tan Wayne Gounty Airport. 
a 2Lycar-old nd of Paul's from the 

a ked to escort his body 


home, which he had done through numer- 
ous plane changes and bureaucratic foul- 
ups beginning with his identifying the 
body amid the sea of corpses in the rc- 
frigerated body room at Clark Field in the 
Philippines. At one point, Ramey watched 
as a military mortician put his friend into 
uniform and dabbed some make-up onto 
his face. After the mortician pinned the 
Sea Service ribbon onto Paul's uniform, 
Ramey asked about his other ribbons. 
“They aren't on my chit, so | can't putem 

n," came the reply. Later, at the Algonac 
mortuary where Bill had arranged sei 
for his son, Ramey took two ribbon: 
Navy Expeditionary and Navy Humani- 
tarian—off his own chest and placed them 
on Paul's. 

But if Bill Trerice had expected Ramey 
to put his mind at rest about the death of 
his son, he was mistaken. Over drinks at 
the local V.F.W. hall, Ramey stunned him 
with stories of physical abuse in the 
C.C.U.—rumors of sailors mistreated and 
even beaten by the Navy petty officers who 
served as so-called retraining escorts. 

“Don’t let them get away with it, Mr. 
"Irerice," Ramey said. “There’s too much 
brutality aboard that ship.” 

"Thus urged on, Bill took his next step. 
Before Paul could be buried, he hired Dr. 
Werner Spitz, a respected pathologist and 
the chief medical examiner for nearby 
Wayne County, to do an autopsy. There 
was a certain amount of irony in Bill's 
choice—as deputy chief medical examiner 
in Maryland, Dr. Spitz had regularly 
trained military pathologists and often 
lectured at Walter Reed Army Medical 
Center in Washington, D.C. 

On April 19, 1981, Spitz began the au- 
topsy. As he had expected, there were the 
unmistakable signs of a post-mortem con- 
ducted by the Navy in Subic Bay. He also 
found some serious external wounds— 
scratches, scrapes and bruises all over the 
body. But what was most suspicious was 
the extensive bruising on both wrists, in- 
dicating that Paul’s hands had been mana- 
cled, apparently during some sort of 
violent struggle. 

Next came the internal examination. 
Spitz made his incisions, pulled back the 
skin and discovercd that all of Paul's inter- 
nal organs—his heart, his stomach, his 
lungs, his brain, everything—were miss- 
ing. Normal autopsy procedure called for 
organs to be removed and weighed and 
samples taken for toxicology, but they 
were usually returned to the body for 
burial. Based on information supplied by 
the Navy relating to the temperature of the 
body and the circumstances of death— 
which he had every reason to believe— 
pitz agreed that Paul had died of a 
stroke. 

Bill was shocked and distressed to learn 
that his son’s body had been shipped home 
an empty shell. No toxicology reports were 

(continued on page 186) 


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A WALK 
ON THE 


in the dim light of new york's 
public-sex scene, people gather to do 
things that you can't even imagine 


IT BEGINS with a taxi ride to the West Village in 

near the docks. Medieval map mak- 
ers would have marked this space with fire- 
breathing dragons. To the north and the south 
are wide streets and warehouses; to the west, 
the Hudson River. During the day, the area isa 
center of commerce. At night, it is something 
else again. 

I have heard about this place from a friend 
who has been covering the New York sex scene 
for 20 years. “I thought I had seen every- 
thing," he told me, "but there are things 
happening at the Hellfire Club that made me 


XLUSTRATION BY OLIVIA DX BERARDINES. 


PLAYBOY 


nervous, There is one room . 
stay in there for more than a minute. 
You're on your own. I won't go back.” 

I study the triangular building that fills 
the block at the intersection of 13th Street 
and Ninth Avenue. The ground floor is a 
leather bar. One of the patrons sizes me up 
points me toward a narrow staircase. 
At the bottom of the stairs, I encounter a 
mountain wearing spiked wrist gauntlets 

leather vest—the bouncer. Не is 
howing Pol. 


- . 1 couldn't 


oids of his last orgy to a 
woman in spiked hecls and a lcather push- 
p bra. I glance at her exposed breasts, 
her wasp-waisted corset. Ї pay the $15 
admission and sign a r that says Гага 
not а cop or a prosecutor, that I will not 
nble or use drugs. I push through 
beaded cur nd enter the club. 

The room is like a cavernous basement 
rec room, with a low ceiling and black 
cinder-block walls illuminated by red, blue 
and green light bulbs. Benches and tables 
line one wall. A man sits at a table h 
down the wall, fashioning leath 
chrome into S/M regalia. A bare-breasted 
woman stands next to him. A chain runs 
from her wrist to a collar around the neck. 
ol a middle-aged n silent, hous 
broken. From behind a square bar, a 
stark-naked male serves drinks in plastic 
cups. Beyond the bar is a steel frame with 
manacles—unoccupied. At the far end of 
the room is а discjockey booth. Over the 
sound system, Elvis is singing Don't Be 
Cruel. 

1 examine the crowd. A pudgy man 
walks by, wearing a s 
gold-lamé ballet slippers. A chain runs 
from his neck to his scrotum, circling his 
genitals. My guess is, he didn't ride the 
bus dressed like that. He is so rit lous 
that I suddenly feel safe. Another guy 
walks by, wearing a sweat shirt, red soc 
ind. loafers—nothing else. In the corner, 
omeone is jerking oll. If we all knew how 
silly it looked, we probably wouldn't do it. 
He doesn’t seem to care, I notice a girl 
standing alone in the middle of the floor, 
She is world class, a model or a groupic. 
She is clad ina black T-shirt that is ripped 
down the back. Tiny chains hold the 
pieces together. I make out the message 
that was silk-screened on the back: ONLY AN 
ANIMAL COULD UNDERSTAND. 

The room is charged with the feeling 
that something is about to happen. I goon 
patrol down а corridor and into a back 
th of stalls, cubicles, 
parti y aware of thighs 
and buttocks, sweaty torsos. Spectators 
nd shoulder to shoulder near the back 
id, enigmatic. They look like 
rion birds waiting to snatch a shred of 
ncc. I look over their shoulders at 


ki mask, a tutu and 


п who looks like Archie Bunker 
he isn’t, She is sucking the 
cock of one of the strangers in the crowd. A 
circle of men stand, stroking themselves, 


waiting for their turn. isters on 
the face of the m г as he 
watches the erect penis move in and out of 
his companion's mouth. I move away 

Someone notices my baffled expression 
and com he rescue: "For two months, 
they've been coming here. She sits on his 
lap and sucks off whoever gets there firs 
He watches.” Well, I thought, that ex- 
plains everything. 

‘There is no room left in the circle of 
spectators, so а restless young boy goes 
around to the side of the partition, unzips 
his pants and pushes ion throu 
an opening. Its called a glory hole. The 
woman looks at the offering without appa 
ent interest, A man in the crowd kneels 
down and takes it into his mouth. I won- 
der if the guy on the other side knows that 
the mouth is a man's, not a woman's. 1 
wonder if it matters. He is offering up his. 
excitement, pure and simple, trusting thc 
strangers on the other side. When you 
thin the man who penetrates а new 
acquaintance on а one-night stand isn’t 
doing anything much different. What do 
we ever know about the person on the 
other side of the part There is trust; 
the rest is friction. 

1 try to make sense of what's going on. T 
study a middle-aged man supine on a sad- 
dle suspended by four chains. He is naked 
from the waist down, lying with his legs. 
raised, offering his ass to all takers. No one 
accepts, but he docs 
is content to lie there exposed, his need on 
display. On the other side of the room, a 
muscular black slowly rubs oil over his 
body. In an alcove. a young boy kneels Б 
fore his boyfriend and fumbles with a zip- 
per, A bystander urges me to take a look. 
“You don’t sce this every day,” he says. He 


presses his eye to a chink in the cinder 
block and watche: 
It is clear that the crowd consists of two 


kinds of people: the spectators and the per- 
formers. There are those who come to pre- 
sent the pure form of their desire, without 
apology or pretense. For them, the pi 
ence of an audience contributes to the ex- 
citement. Their ability to respond to onc 
nother in front of a crowd of 
seems to be a declaration. 
achieve that private space 
The observers are something else. They 
cannot participate; they can only wate! 
They are no different from the fans who 
jam stadiums to watch athletes do what 
they can't do themselves. The room seems 
to olfer a choice: Are you spectator or p 
ticipant? 

I sit down on a folding chair next to a 
small, clean-featured girl in a red running 
suit. She seems out of place, almost too 
healthy for the Hellfire Club. The phrase 
“WI like you... ? 
gerously close to being spoki 
away. W 1 look back, I notice that she 
has removed the suit, folded ii fully, 
placed it on the ch nd sat down. She 


a nice 


wears a leather collar and the thin silk out- 
line ofa balter top. The black cords accent 
her breasts, which happen to be perfect, 
alive with surface tension, the best in the 
room. I realize that I could be dominated 
by bı like those for months at a time 
My guess is she did ride the bus like that. 
For the rest of my stay in Twill 
look with new awareness at every jogger, 
knowing that under the sweat shirt may be 
a dominatrix, someone into whips and 
ns. 

Before I can make a fool of myself, my 
attention is drawn to a couple on my other 
side. A preppic tries to pick up a similarly 
straight lady. “Are you into S/M? Are you 
submissive? Most of the women who come 
с are into domination. It's hard to find 
someone submissive. By any chance, do 
you like to be spanked? My name is Fred. 1 
like to sky-dive and drive my Mercedes 
fast.” Sc surface and this is just 


ew Yor 


I look around the room, The girl in the 
ripped T-shirt is talking with a tall, long- 
haired man who looks like a. philosophy 
professor from a community college. The 
girl with the red running suit and the per- 
fect breasts is still sitting against the wall, 
next to me. The room still seems charged 
with the energy of something about to bap- 
pen. It is three o'clock in the morning. I 
leave for my hotel. T am out of my league. I 
can dese at E have seen, but T can't 
yet expla s is going to be an 
teresting w 


. 

My mission is simple: Take a stroll 
along the sexual frontier, spend five day 
on the S/M scene in New York and come 
back alive. Irs the kind of assignment E 
can't turn down. Years ago, Richard Halli- 
burton could swim the Dardanelles or 
spend a night at the Taj Mahal and 
write an article that took rcaders to à new 
world. Nowadays, the best adventure sto- 
ries are sexual. A few months ago, | dis- 
covered а series of ads for S/M clubs in a 
New York tabloid, and when I showed 
them to my editor, he said, “Go.” Easy for 
him to say. 

In the past five years, I have visited Pla 
1075 Retreat, massage parlors, topless/bot- 
tomless bars—all on assignment. Those 
places were a piece of cake. When you 
walk into а room where 200 people are 
fucking, the article writes itself. An or 
mainly heterosexual; it’s just normal sex 
performed en masse. | wasn’t зо зиге about 
S/M clubs. I wasn’t sure how Га react. 

I decide to warm up with the basic 
tour of the liv 
sex shows around Times Square. I begin 
at a three-story maze of flashing lights and 
led Show World Center. 
A barker sits, like Oz, behind a curtain, 
whispering invitations into a microphone 
“This way to the live sex shows; this way 
to the X-rated movi 

(continued on page 167) 


BEER 
CHIC 


the english author 

of “the world guide 
to beer" shares his latest 
discoveries in supersuds 


drink 


By MICHAEL JACKSON 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVE JORDANO 


with natives like carina, 
sweden should be billed as the 
land of the midnight stun 


FIRST 
PERSSON 
SINGULAR 


ARINA PERSSON was here. We know because we have the 
pictures. The restless Swede did deplane in L.A. on her 
way home to Colorado from 


nd a friendly fireplace, Carina warmed and talked. 
in reasons I started 10 travel was to get away from 
cold winters. In Sweden, the winters are long. People get depressed 
because it is always gray. There is too much rain and too much gray. 
It stays gray for weeks and weeks and weeks.” 

She wasn’t despairing, just remembering. Carina is strong. She 
has been on her own since she (tex! continued on page 96) 


"Sometimes it’s not good lo be as quiet as I am 5 
Carina Persson, “because people get frustrated with те. They 
want to get lo know me faster, but it lakes a long time with me. 
They have to be patient, but sometimes they don't like waiting.” 


93 


On a sunny day in Southern California, 
Carina enjoys the warmth of Santa Moni- 
са beach with a new-found friend and 
temporary roommate al Playboy Mansion. 
West, Angie Gillis. Both (below) avoid 
the middleman in a beach photo booth. 


MOIS zi. 
d 
$6 


“People aren't as sexually liberated in Sweden 
as you think they are. They do have a lot of 
fun. And maybe it’s not so strange there to have 
more than one man. And maybe people don’t 
care so much if they have clothes on or not." 


> er 


left school and family at 17 to 
make a home for herself in the 
Swedish countryside outside her 
childhood home of Hälsingborg. 
There she fell in love with nature 
and self-sufliciency. “I think that 
people are sometimes too depend- 
ent on society. There may be times 
when you need to take care of 
yourself, and it’s a good feeling to 
know that уоште able to.” 

Carina, currently based in Boul- 
der, Colorado, is a missionary of 
sorts. A missionary of the carth 
She speaks sofily—so softly you 
have to pay attention. She does not 
babble. The English language is 
strange to her. She hasn't the lacil- 
ity to waste words. 

“People get sterile in the big 
cities; everything gets sterile, It 
loses its life. The more money 
people have, the more life is 
lost, Sterile? I don’t have many 
words. I wish I knew a different 
word. Square. No personality. 
People should put some fantasy 
into things.” 

Her father rebuilds pianos 
Carina could, too, il'she wanted to. 
But right now, she wants to travel 


“A man doesn't have to be attrac- 
tive if he has an attractive person- 
ality. 1 like a man who can make 
me laugh. But 1 also want a man. 
who isn't afraid to communi- 
cate. His age doesn't matter." 


t in nature. I would like to adopt some children someday. From India or Africa—because 

уте really suffering.” Carina is a serious person. Still, she loves to laugh, to drink champagne, to listen to music. She'll 
sing Swedish folk songs for you in her tiny, tremulous voice. She will play with you, but she is no plaything. Her concerns are genuine 
and important to her. She wants her life to have meaning. “I see, when I travel, how people live and whether or not they are happy 
with the way they live. It’s another way of learning for me. I want to translate books. 1 think that would help people. If Í could help 


GATEFOLD PHOTOGRAPHY BY KERRY MORRIS 


people read more good books Carina trails off. There is just too much to do. “But I 

think a lot of things are starting to happen. People are starting to think about 
other things besides making money, They get together and do art. They paint the c 

ус the old houses. Put more parks in the cities. . . ." "The thought make: 

ply and relax just think too much sometimes, I guess.” 


ADDITIONAL PHOTOGRAPHY BY KEN MARCUS/ KERRY MORRIS 


“People talk to you more in the State 
те easier to get in contact with. In 
i people 
re still 
not nearly as open as Americans are.” 


100 


“1 like to experiment with sex, lo feel my way along in finding out what the other person likes and to show 
him what I like. For instance, I usually like sex in the evening, but my boyfriends have usually liked it in the 
morning. So we often compromise and make love in the middle of the day.” Here’ to love in the afternoon 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


woe: Corina Person 

mr. AÀ o wars: IN ares A Е 

HEIGHT: dus — WEIGHT: Aa а M 

BIRTH pare: lo- Vl- 98 BIRTHPLACE: зд Sweden, 


AMBITIONS: 


м 
FAVORITE TV SHOWS: 
4 


FERE E7 T 
“Docaues Cousteau” “Believe IE or a 

: F E 
FAVORITE CENTURY, AND шт Др one. , Decouse incredible changes. 
are toping place. 


1 "s Að- Y yrs.- the c irst photo Wt 2 with GT TONS 


Queen. on her throne A RES Voyerienbs wm 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


A woman who had taken a part-time job to help 
make ends meet refused to tell her husband just 
what her work was. While she was away from 
home one Saturday afternoon, her husband took 
their young daughter to the supermarket and 
asked her what brand of cereal he should buy. 

“I still like Cheerios,” piped the youngster, 
“but the other day, I heard Mommy say on 
the phone that now she’s eating something 
called Trix.” 


Maybe you've heard about the tourist who 

n't have $40 to see the Broadway musical 
Cats—and so had to settle for some off-Broadway 
pussy for $25. 


The madam had assembled her girls for inspec- 
tion by the first client of the evening. “This is 
Dolores,” she smiled, “for $200, including a bath 
with her. Connie here, who has rigged up an 
Oriental swing upstairs, goes for $225. Lovely 
Anna Marie," she continued, “can be yours for a 
mere $250 for both straight and around the 
world. And if you take a fancy to tantalizing. Jen; 
ny there, who has a unique range of talents: 

“Just a minute,” gulped the man. “Don’t you 
have any generic lays?” 


Since my sex is bisex,” cried Casey, 
"I've chosen a city that's racy! 
With its either-or zest, 
I get letters addressed 
To WASHINGTON. D.C. AND A.C!” 


The latest refreshment novelty at rural fairs is a 
phallus-shaped scoop of ісе cream—in other 
words, a corn-pone porn cone. 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines Tulsa fag as 
an Oklahomo. 


Kenny,” said the teacher, "do you happen to 
know what the word paranoia means?” 

“It's not a word, Miss Hooper,” ans 
youth. “It’s several words." 

“Whatever do you mean by that?" 

“It's, like," grinned Kenny, "when a well- 
endowed waitress in a topless restaurant reaches 
right in front of a man to remove a plate and 
says, ‘Pardon me, sir, but does my paranoia? ” 


ered the 


A new sex club in New York City with a policy 
of admitting unescorted females who are real 
dogs is called Pluto’s Retreat. 


If you wake up during the night while we're on 
our honeymoon and want to have sex," the deaf 
groom told his bride, “just reach over and pull 
on my organ once or twice. On the other hand," 
he added, “if you don't feel like having sex, pull 
on it 40 or 50 times.” 


With Robert, her boyfriend, Miss Cobb 
Would nod when engaged in a job. 

It was wrongfully said 

She was bobbing her head, 
When she really was heading her Bob. 


X-rated intelligence: A skin flick originally 
called Flaming Young Virgins has been retitled 
Cherryettes of Fire. 


And here,” the Pompeii-ruins guide pointed out 
to the tour group, “we have a young couple pet- 
tified by lava in the very act of making love. A 
truly horrible way to die,” he added musingly, 
“but a great way to spend eternity! 


Our Unabashed Dictionary defines male chastity 
belt as а meat locker. 


ан 


What Earp chewed tobacco—the clod!— 
Which conduced to a habit quite odd: 
When he popped out his chaw 
While he practiced his draw, 
It was clear he'd be shooting his wad! 


Just what is it you intend to do with this arti- 
ficial vagina, sir?” inquired the sex-shop pro- 
prietor. 
really don't think that's any of your busi- 
ness!" snapped the customer. 

“Look, friend, Рт just trying to be helpful," 
countered the dealer in devices. “I don’t have to 
charge you sales tax if it's a food item.” 


Heard a funny one lately? Send it on а post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, PLAYBOY, 
Playboy Bldg, 919 N. Michigan Ате, Chicago, 
Ill. 60611. $50 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


"It's a beautiful honeymoon, dear, but I still miss my vibrator." 


TIMOTHY HUTTON HAS GROWING PRINS 


personality By BARBARA GRIZZUTI HARRISON 


the trouble with real life is, 
youve got to write your own script 


TIMOTHY HUTTON i5 a honey bunch. 

The reedy 6'1" actor with the clear, urgent blue eyes is 
22—just two years older than my own son—and I am, 
give or take a year, the age of his mother; so there is almost 
certainly no lack of propriety, and absolutely no danger to 
either of us, in my rubbing his stiff neck and his bronchial- 
sore back while he reclines in his suite at The Sherry- 
Netherland. I have a feeling that the girl in his bedroom, a 
starlet named Joyce, may not agree. She answers the phone, 
which rings incessantly, in a sharp, vexed voice while Tim. 
tells me his holiday plans: It is December 16 and there is a 
12-foot-tall Christmas tree, as yet undecorated, in the living 


room of the suite. Strewn all over are Joyce’s suitcases, 
from which spill roller skates, ice skates, a child’s stuffed 
animals, red heart-shaped satin pillows, campy thrift-shop 
clothes. Tim’s holiday plans include Joyce and, “Oh, boy, 
eggnog” and long walks in the city; and, tonight—bronchi- 
tis or no bronchitis—a special screening of Airplane II for 
his pals. 

This is my last visit with him, a preholiday hail and 
farewell; we exchange tokens. Joyce smiles at me tepidly, 
definitely a pro forma smile; she gives Tim a fiercely pro- 
prietorial glance. He is dressed in jeans and a denim work 
shirt and might be just any (continued on page 172) 


THE SHUTTLE 
TO SHORT WAVE 


a star cluster of stellar receivers for 
international eavesdropping 


modern living By DANNY GOODMAN 


IF ET. HAD TUNED in to Earth's short-wave-radio spectrum 
instead of landing in a California suburb, he could have 
learned everything he needed to know about our planet and 
avoided all the mess. While he was busy collecting samples 
of bushes, the British Broadcasting Company was broad- 
casting an intelligent overview of world events. Radio 
Moscow was interviewing a Soviet scientist in English on a 


Our galaxy of identified supersonic flying objects includes (clock- 
wise from fen) An IC-R70 30-band short-wave receiver 
designed to minimize interference, by [COM Americo, $750. 
Panasonic's RF-3100, a 31-band portable, from Spectronics, Oak 
Park, Illinois, $370. Next, an R-2000 model that can automati- 
cally scan 30 bands and pick up specific broadcasts, by Trio- 
Kenwood Communications, $600. Above right of the R-2000: 
Sony's CRF-l is a sophisticated portable that sweeps short-, 
medium- and long-wave bands ond has a removable power 
pack, $1795. Next to it: General Electric's 7-2990 World Monitor, 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD л 
L] 


a four-band portable, plus AM and FM, $235. Below it: Pana- 
sonics incredible RF-9000, featuring a programmable micro- 
computer that scans all bands and can be preset for up to seven 
days, plus much more, from Federal TV, Chicago, $3800. The 
AL999 picks up nine bands (five short wave) and has three 
aerials, by Magnavox, $300. Yaesu's FRG-7700 receiver covers 
the low-, medium- and high-frequency bands and hos a clock- 
timer, $698, including a memory module. In our spaced-out 
spoceman's hand is о nine-band (seven short wave, plus 
AM/FM) ICF-7600A portable receiver, by Sony, about $160. 


PLAYBOY 


12 


biological breakthrough and Radio Aus- 
tralia was sending out musical sounds 
recorded earlier that day in a pub. To tap 
into that living library, carthlings have 
their choice of about two dozen new, con 
sumer-oricnted short-wave receivers on 
the market. Some are small enough to get 
lost in a suitcase and many—both port- 
able and desktop models—sport sophisti 
cated features adapted from expensive 
receivers that only Government agencies 
can afford. But today, the consumer ver- 
sions are sensitive, relatively inexpensive 
and easier to usc than a lot of the stereo 
gear on the market. 

At last count, broadcasters in nearly 40 
nations on all continents except Antarc- 
tica beamed commercial-free English- 
language programs to North America. 
Most transmissions are scheduled in the 
evening (roughly the prime-time TV 
hours), with several also set for the morn- 
ing. A few stations, notably Radio Canada 
International and the BBC, are clearly 
audible throughout most of the day. 

Practically all stations are operated or 
funded by the host countries and are, of 
course, frequently used for political pur- 
poses. But the programing that finally 
tumbles into your receiver is a fascinating 
mixture of cultural information, music and 
news, all of which is attracting a grow- 
ing audience of American short-wave 
listeners. 

International broadcasters take up only 
part of the spectrum. The short-wave 
bands also hold thousands of utility 
stations—international airline voice com- 
munications, radioteletype press wires, 
Morse-code and voice ship-to-shore con- 
tacts, amateur-radio conversations and 
plenty of Government and military com- 
munications. While truly high-level mate- 
rial is coded or scrambled, there is plenty 
оп which to eavesdrop that is not. 

Any of several publications provide all 
the information you need to tune in the 
world. The World Radio TV Handbook, 
published annually by Billboard Publica- 
tions, is a guide to nearly every broadcast- 
ing station in the world, with full schedules 
of all services. Utility stations are well in- 
dexed in Oliver P. Ferrell's Confidential 
Frequency List lable from Giller 


Shortwave, P.O. Box 239, Park Ridge, 
New Jersey 07656). 
In sclecting a receiver, remember that 


the number of short-wave tuning segments. 
(labeled SWI, SW2, etc.) selected by a 
radio’s band switch is not as critical a 
specification as is the unit’s frequency 
coverage. Radios should be able to tune in 
atleast 15.5 megahertz (MHz) and prefer- 
ably as high as 30 MHz to assure coverage 
of all world-wide broadcasting, utility and 
nateur- 
Perhaps the most important improve- 
ment made in short-wave receivers over 
the tuning, 
Specifically in the ability to dial a remote 


frequency. By international agreement, 
most broadcasting is confined to several 
frequency bands, each about half the size 
of the familiar AM radio band, equivalent 
to 550-1000 on your radio dial. When a 
band is active in the evening, there may be 
stations spotted every ten kilohertz (kHz) 
instead of the 30 or 40 kHz you're accus- 
tomed toon AM. You can see the problem. 
with multiband radio tuning scales that 
shrink the bands to as small as a quarter 

nch on the dial. There’s no way to tell 
you're on 600 or 800 kHz. 

"The good news is that digital dials and 
wide short-wave tuning-band spreads on 
the new radios have all but eliminated this 
problem. With a digital dial, simply look 
up the frequency in the schedule and twid- 
dle the tuning knob or push a few buttons 
until the readout numbers match. Several 
models also have presettable memories 
and automatic band scanning. The short- 
wave band-spread models stretch out each 
band with enough dial markings to help 
you zero in on your target frequency, as 
you would on any AM or FM radio with a 
traditional slide-rule dial. 

Antennas аге no longer a problem, 
either. Portables optimized for short-wave 
reception come equipped with telescoping 
antennas that do an adequate job of 
pulling in most of the major stations. Per- 
formance of better receivers can be im- 
proved by an amplified indoor antenna 
such as МЕЈ Enterprises’ Model 1020 
(S80) active antenna, which is powerful, 
unobtrusive and requires no fancy installa- 
tion. That same modcl can also be used 
with excellent results on desktop radios, all 
of which require some kind of exter- 
nal antenna, Compact outdoor antennas 
strengthen the signals reaching your re- 
ceiver. The vertical МЕЈ Model 1024 
($130) and the horizontal Datong AD-370 
($150, from Gilfer Shortwave) will do the 
job, depending on your space restrictions. 

Portable receivers have come a long wa 
in meeting the needs of both experienced 
and first-time short-wave listeners, Mir 
aturization brings the Sony ICR-1800 
($90) down to shirt-pocket size, yet it 
tunes in standard AM and live of the 
most popular short-wave bands in wide- 
ly spread tuning-dial ranges. Falkland 
Islanders last year would have welcomed. 
that concealable cight-ounce wonder when 
the Argentine forces confiscated radios 
capable of tuning in the outside world. 
The Sony ICF-7600A (about $160) is a bit 
larger but still compact enough for travel. 
The model adds FM and two more short- 
wave bands, including the 13-meter band 
(21.45-21.75 MHz), on which a number of 
daytime English programs not necessa 
directed to North America are audible. 

About the same size is Panasor 
КЕ-085 ($90), a surprisingly sensitive little 
receiver. While the tuner-section perform- 
гс has been peaked for short-wave sensi 
ity, the tuning dial covers 2.3 to 18.0 


MHz in only three segments, which makes 
a specific frequency difficult. But 
the RF-085 is a good travel radio for more 
experienced listeners who can tunc in by 
саг, recognizing audio and program char- 
acteri: of favorite stations without 
accurate frequency readout. 

Digital display is the outstanding fea- 
ture of a number of battery-operated port- 
able receivers with built-in А.С. power 
supplies. Most also have a beat-frequency 
oscillator that allows you to hear Morse 
and teletype signals as well as voice signals 
from hams, ship-to-shore telephones, air- 
craft, etc. 

Lhe General Electric 7-2990 World 
Monitor ($235) presents both a slide-rule 
and a digital display. When you're using 
batteries, the display can be switched off to 
conserve power. A Panasonic digital, the 
RF-3100 ($370), has a very stable PLL 
(phased-lock loop) quartz-synthesized 
tuner covering all short-wave bands and 
AM and FM 

Magnavox offers the jet-black А1999 
($300), which features a unique touch- 
sensitive tuning dial. (As soon as vou 
reach for the knob to retune the receiver, 
the large LCD readout switches automat- 
ically from displaying the time to display- 
ing the frequency.) And one of the most 
professional-quality portables we've seen 
is the $1795 Sony CRF-1. Although the 
two-step digital-tuning method may take 
some getting used to, the CRE-I's weak- 
signal sensitivity is extraoi А 

"The same kind of microprocessors that 
go into a Stereo tuner's auto-scanning and 
presetmemory functions now are bei 
incorporated into short-wave portables. 
Sony was the first in moderately priced 
push-button receivers with the ICF-2001 
($350), a popular radio among dedicated 
short-wave hobbyists. The slim, four- 
pound set tunes in FM and one big chunk 
of radio spectrum (.150-30 MHz) that in- 
cludes AM, long wave (a local broadcast 
band in Europe; a weather/navigation 
beacon band in the U.S.) and the complete 
short-wave spectrum. And there is even a 
sleep timer if you want the radio to shut 
off once you're lulled to sleep by voices 
from afar. 

Other top receivers include the Magna- 
vox D-2924 (S180), Panasonic’s 
КЕ-799 (S300) and its RF-9000. 
a $3800 portable that is also the finest- 
performing computer-controlled, battery- 
operable receiver you can buy, provided 
you're not intimidated by 90 
push buttons, There is a conventional tun- 
ing knob, plus direct-access keyboard 
tuning and 15 memories. You also have the 
cility for programming your liste 
mes and frequencies up to seven d: 
advance. The radio’s computer does the 
rest. You just listen. 

Several excellent values in desktop 
short-wave sets, more often called general- 
coverage or Communications receivers, can 

(concluded on page 151) 


TAEART 
OFOEA 


welcome to the erotic masterpieces of “the blue book” 


JUST WHEN YOUTHOUGHT it was numbing ta traipse through another art gal- 
lery, here's a show of erotic fantasies by some af the world’s most suc- 
cessful artists. The illustrations in this mini-exhibit are fram The Blue 
Book, distributed by Grove Press, New York. Longtime raveor read- 
ers will recagnize in the book the styles af Lau Brooks, Dennis Mukai, 


Robert Grassman, Katsu Yoshida, Jean-Paul Goude, Andy Warhol, 
Mel Ramos and Allen Jones. The point af the callection is ta under- 
score the fact that when artists think about sex, they're not always 
wearing straight faces. And no wonder. Sex doesn’t always happen 
between samber people. There's often a lot af smiling going an. And 


Lips + Yosuke Ohnishi 


there's even more of it going on in our fontosy lives. Consider 
the not-so-irrational appeal of reolly big red lips. You know, 
wet ones. They set the mind to working. As does o close- 
cropped view of o wonderfully feminine backside streaked by 
sunlight and shodowed by Venetion blinds. Or o ballerina 


Untitled + J. P. Goude 


— who is obviously undounted by the 
stress required to occomplish the self- 
absorption she seeks so possionotely. 
Why do whirling red shoes seem 
oppropriate to o particular torso? Or 
a hand interrupting an otherwise ploc- 
id still life? These ortists let us in on 
their unique secrets ond, in the 
process, they help us create our own. 


Erotech Glutius Міпатиѕ + Zox 


Red Shoes » Katsu Yoshida 


Not Quite So Still Life + Marvin Mattelson 


20 QUESTIONS: JAN STEPHENSON 


the most imposing figure on the links defends her 
marriages, blasts her critics and explains why golfers 


make better lovers 


Rv Crane cornered the constantly tour- 
ing Jan Stephenson at her home in Fort 
Worth, Texas. He reports: “Besides being one 
of the top money earners on the women's golf 
tour, Jan is the sexiest woman athlete in pro- 
fessional sports. She reminds me of an Olivia 
Newton-John—only made out of bricks. To 
clear up an image problem in her native Aus- 
tralia, Jan had a television crew film a por- 
tion of our interview as part of a special to be 
televised back home. I think she’s afraid of be- 
coming too Americanized.” 


a 


PLAYDOY: You could bc a model or an 
actress. Why are you golfing? 
STEPHENSON: There arc millions of pretty 
girls and great actresses, but it's very dif- 
ficult to be a top golfer. It’s so disciplined 
and I'm so emotional. Most of the people 
who do well in golf do so because they're 
not emotional. They're boring people. It’s 
such a challenge for me to control myself. 
And there’s nothing in the world like 
winning a tournament. That’s what it’s all 
for. It happens so rarely; the game is han- 
dling the fact you get defeated most of the 
time. So, when I finally succeed, I get goose 
bumps. It’s the greatest. 


D 


PLAYBOY: [f you hadn't made it to the pro 
golf circuit, what would you be doing? 
STEPHENSON: Га be а dance teacher. I love to 
sweat and heave and breathe and hurt and 
burn and get dirty. Гуе done something 
physical all my life. When I was seven years 
old, my dad wanted me to be an Olym 
swimmer. I would train until I burt. When 
І was eight and a half, he decided he 
wanted mc to bea tennis player. I hated it. 
When I got to golf, at least I could do it at 
my own pace and I was my own boss. A lot 
of people are amazed at how hard I work 
out. There's something good about getting 
all dirty and grimy and nasty and then 
showering; you feel twice as clean. 


3. 


ravsov: Are you а bad loser? 

STEPHENSON: Yeah. But golf has made me 
grow up. Ї used to be very immature. Ї was 
a big star in Australia; I always won and I 
was really obnoxious about it. When I 
came over here, | wasa nobody, and it took 
me a long time to get to the top. I was so 
convinced 1 would win the world cham- 
pionship last year. But I finished second, 


made $26,000 and was miserable. I cry a 
lot. If I have a bad round, ГЇЇ burst out 
crying. If Im not in contention, I hate it. 


4. 


PLAYBOY: What is the reaction among fellow 
golfers to your off-the-links activities? 
STEPHENSON: I'm very misunderstood. 1 do 
so much promotion and press for toura- 
ments and for the Ladies Professional Golf 
Association. Anything I do, even for my 
self, is helping the L.P.G.A., as far as Im 
concerned, and a lot of the girls don’t see 
that. Actually, it’s much tougher to do the 
promotions and the glamor part than just 
to play golf. I would love to be able to play. 
and have nobody bother me. 


5 


млувоу: Does flaunting your sexiness ge 
the way of your credibility as an athlete? 
STEPHENSON: Last year, I rebelled and wor 
pants on tour. People were complaining 
that they weren't seeing my legs, but I 
thought they might realize that Im a 
golfer—betore anything else. When no- 
body knew me, I wore tiny tank tops and 
short shorts. When I got to be known as a 
golfer, 1 stopped that. Now it doesn't 
matter. 


6. 


тлуүноу: How do you deal with the 
women's movement? 

STEPHENSON: 1 get а lot of negative mail from. 
women. But no one is more independent 
than I am. Nobody is as much a boss of his 
career as I am. I would love to have some- 
body open my door all the timc. Normally, 
ГЇЇ be renting a car at two in the morning 
going tosome little town to do an exhibition 
the next morning and there will be noone to 
help me with my bags and I'll have to walk 
across a dark parking lot. As soon as there's 
a man around, I forget how to open the 
door really quickl 


7. 


вилувоу: Which male golfers can you beat? 
STEPHENSON: "There's no comparison be- 
tween male and female athletes— peri- 
od. If you put us on the same tees, 
any male player on the tour could out- 
drive me, because power is so important. 
to the green, I think 
1 could beat them all. Tom Watson's a fan- 
tastic putter, and putting is probably the 
worst part of my game. 1 work so hard 
from tee to green, I don't have the hours to 


Hwe hit the same iron 


spend on the green. When I came over 
here, I was such a good putter and had 
such a bad long game. Гус overcorrected. 
But if we all hit five irons in to the green, 
Td beat them every time. 


8. 


PLAYBOY: How do male golf groupies 
approach you on and off the course? 
STEPHENSON: Off the course, men will inter- 
rupt my dinner and ask ГЇЛЇ have a drink 
with them. There's no way. Often, they'll 
tell me off. They think Em a bitch. It's just 
that my private time is very important and 
Pm really a very private person. 

On the course, | love the attention. It 
annoys the gitls a lot. It helped me in a 
tournament last year in Hershey, Pennsyl- 
vania, I started about five shots back on 
Sunday. I bogeyed the first two holes. I had 
been putting badly all week, but then I 
made a 30-footer downhill for a birdie. The 
next hole, I two-putted for another birdie. 
Later, I made a 15-footer for yet another 
birdie. A lot of the guys in the gallery 
started screaming, “Youre going to win. 
We know you can win. Please birdie.” My 
galleries seem to be getting louder and 
louder. The guys coming out are younger 
and younger, and half of them don’t know 
anything about golf. They get drunk, and 
by the fifth hole, they’re loud and obnox- 
ious. I love it. They scream, “We love you.” 
Anyway, they convinced me I was going to 
win the tournament, and I did. 

One guy wanted to get to know me so 
badly that he told everyone that we were 
secretly married and I didn't want anyone 
to know. He's crazy. He's not allowed to 
come on the golf course anymore. 

Another guy left me a wedding bouquet 
in my locker with a note saying, “Please 
meet me at the church at 9:30 in the mom- 
ing.” All the girls loved that. On the $ 
day of the tournament, he showed up 
dressed in white and carried a bouquet of 
white flowers all around the golf course. 
How embarras: 


an- 


9. 


т.лүвоу: Have you ever had sex on a golf 
course? 

STEPHENSON: [Long pause] No. Y wonder 
why not; maybe because it’s my office. I 
love to do things that are exciting and dif- 
ferent. Ive had sex in a lot of places. I 
wouldn't want to have it in the bunker, 
because of (continued on page 182) 


17 


118 


fiction 


BY CHET WILLIAPMSO 


SEED CxTsLOG—toss; Acme flier—keep for 
Mary; Sports Illustrated —kecp; phone bill, 
electric bill, gas bill—keep, keep, keep. 
Damn it. Subscription-renewal notice to 
Snoop—toss. . . . 

Joe Priddy tossed, but the envelope 
landed face up, balanced on the edge of the 
wastebasket. He was about to tip it in 
when he noticed the words PERSONAL MES- 
SAGE INSIDE on the lower-left front. 

Personal, my ass, he thought, but he 
picked it up and read it. 


Dear Mr. Pridy, 

We have not yet received your subscrip- 
tion renewal to SNOOP, the Magazine of 
Electronic and Personal Surveillance. We 
trust that, after having been a loyal sub- 
scriber for 9 months, you will renew your 
subscription so that we may continue to 
send ООР to you at 19 Merrydale 
Drive. 

We do not have to remind you, Mr. 
Pridy, of the constant changes in su 
lance technology and techniques. We are 
surc that in your own town of Sidewheel, 
NY, you have seen the consequences for 
yourself. So keep up to date on the latest in 
surveillance, Mr. Pridy, by sending $1195 
in the enclosed postpaid envelope today. 
As one involved and/or interested in the 
field of law enforcement, you cannot afford 
to be without SNOOP, Mr. Pridy. 

Best regards, 
David Michaelson 
Subscri i 
S.: If you choose not to resubscribe, 
Mr. Pridy, would you please take а mo- 
ment and tell us why, using the enclosed 
postpaid envelope? Thank you, Mr. Pridy. 


Joe shook his head. Who did they think 
they were fooling? "Pridy," said Joe to 
himself. “Jesus. 

Mary’s brother Hank had given Joe the 
subscription to Snoop for his birthday. “A 
a joke,” he'd said, winking at Joe lasciv- 
iously, a reference to the evening he and 
Hank had watched the Quincy girl un- 
dress in the apartment across the court- 
yard with the aid of Joe's binoculars. It 
had taken some imagination to satisfy 
Mary's curiosity about. Hank’s joke, and 


Joe still felt uncomfortable each time 
Snoop hit his mailbox. And now they 
wanted him to resubscribe? 

He was about to toss the letter again 
when he thought about the P.S. *Tell us 
why.” Maybe he'd do just that. It would 
get all his feelings about Snoop out of his 
system to let them know just how he felt 
about their “personal message.” 


Dear MR. MICHELSON, 

І have chosen mof to resubscribe to 
SNOOP after having received it for 9 
MONTHS because I am sick and tired of 
computer-typed messages that uy t 
appear personal. 1 would much rather re- 
ceive an honest request to “Dear Subscrib- 
er" than the phony garbage that keeps 
turning up in my mailbox. So do us both a 
favor and don't send any more subscrip- 
renewal notices to me at 19 MERRY- 
DRIVE in my lovely town of 
SIDEWHEEL, NY. OK? 

Worst regards, 
Joseph H. Priddy 

P.S.- And it’s Priddy, not Pridy. Teach 

your word processor to spell. 


Joe pulled the page out of the typewriter 
and stuffed it into the postpaid envelope. 

‘Two weeks later, he received another 
subscription-renewal notice. As before, 
PERSONAL MESSAGE INSIDE was printed on the 
envelope. He was about to throw it away 
without opening it when he noticed that 
his name was spelled correctly, “Small 
favors,” he muttered, sitting on the couch 
with Mary and tearing the envelope open. 
Could they, he wondered, be responding to 
his letter? 


Dear Mr. Priddy, 


Christ, another word-processor job. . 
At least they got the name right. .. . 


We received your recent letter and are 
sorry that you have chosen not to resub- 
scribe to SNOOP, the Magazine of Elec- 
tronic and Personal Surveillance. 


We 
hope, however, that you will reconsider, 
for if you resubscribe now at the low price 
of $427.85 for the next nine issues 


ILLUSTRATION BY MARY PHELAN 


it looked 

like an ordinary 
piece of junk mail 
to joe, but 

he was wrong 


$427.85? What the hell? What hap- 
pened to $11.95? 


we will be able to continue your subscrip- 
tion uninterrupted, bringing you all the 
latest news and updates on surveillance 
technology and techniques. And in today’s 
world, Mr. Priddy, such knowledge should 
not be taken lightly. Youll learn tech- 
niques similar to those that led New York 
City law-enforcement officials to the big- 
gest heroin bust in history, that told mem- 
bers of the FBI of a plan to overthrow the 
state government of Montana by force, 
that alerted us to your own four-month 
affair with Rayette Squires 


۷ Joe could feel the blood leave 
his face. 


You'll get tips on photographic surveil- 
lance, as well, and learn techniques 
that will let your own efforts equal that of 
the enclosed 2 by 2 showing you and Miss 
Squires at The Sidewheel Motel in the love- 
ly town of Sidewheel, NY. 


Joe dove for the envelope, which was 
lying dangerously close to Mary's 
McCall's. He peeked as surreptitiously as 
possible into the envelope and found, be- 
tween the slick paper flier and the retu 
envclope, a well-lit color photo of him ai 
Rayette in a compromising and fatiguing 
position. His wife looked up in response to 
his high-pitched whine, and he smacked 
the envelope shut, giggled weakly and 
finished the letter. 


We sincerely hope, Mr. Priddy, that 
you'll rejoin our family of informed sub- 
scribers by mailing your check for $427.85 
very soon. Shall we say within 10 days? 


Joe got up, envelope and letter i 
and went to the bedroom to get out the 
shoc box he'd hidden—the one with the 
moncy he'd been squirreling away for 
outboard motor, the money even M 
didn't know about. 

When he counted it, it totaled $128.05. 
Which made sense. This time, thc 
return envelope wasn't postpaid Е 


lus PERSONAL 


an early line on teams 
and players in both 
conferences of the nfl. 


sports 


Bv ANSON MOUNT 


WHEN YOU SEE your favorite N.F.L. team 
play its first game this year, be sure to 
e a copy of its latest player-personnel 


figure out who's doing what to whom. 
Player turnover will be greater this year 
than in any other season in the history of 
the game. 

The reasons for the impending head 


lopping arc clear and compelling. 

First: "The owners and the coaches arc 
cager to rid themselves of the more 
tant participants in 
тз” strike, especially 
field abilit 


г 
fall's acrimonious 
hose whose on- 
are less phenomenal than 
their negotiating talents. If the manager of 
an ordinary mercial enterprise fires 
workers who strike, he finds himself up to 


his sphincter in howling Labor Dep 
ment watchdogs. Pro football franchises, 
on the other hand, have the right to cut a 
veteran (however long and conscientious 
his service might have been) when a fresh- 
laced rookie anagement's opin- 
lone—do the job better (and usually 
cheaper). In human-rights legalese, that's 
called age discrimination. In professional 


John Riggins defies the sting 
of one of Miami's Killer Bees 

jn Super Bowl XVII—he treated 
the Bees like butterflies in 
tarrying the Redskins to their 
first N.F.L, title in 41 years. 


sports, it's called upgrading the squad. 
Second: Four fifths of the players on the 
average N.F.L. squad are easily replace. 
able. The football talent bank is enormous. 
‘At the end of every pre-season training 
period, the last two dozen players who are 
sent packing by each franchise are only 
marginally less desirable than most of the 
players who survive. Final cuts are usually 


121 


Vt 


PLAYBOY'S 1983 PRE-SEASON ALL-PRO TEAM 


OFFENSE 


James Lofton, Green Bay. ............ 
Wes Chandler, San Diego .. Wide Receiver 
Kellen Winslow, San Diego . -.. Tight End 
Anthony Munoz, Cincinnati .......--.--.---2.- 00s eee eee eee Tackle 


-Wide Receiver 


Pat Donovan, Dallas . . . . . Tackle 
R. C. Thielemann, Atlanta . - Guard 
Randy Cross, San Francisco : E -. Guard 
Mike Webster, Pittsburgh .............................- .... Center 
Dan Fouts, San Diego........ HS Quarterback 
Marcus Allen, Los Angeles Raiders Running Back 
Tony Dorsett, Dallas ............- Running Back 
Mark Moseley, Washington ......... осо осон Place Kicker 
DEFENSE 

Lee Roy Selmon, Tampa Bay .... . End 
Art Still, Kansas City End 
Randy White, Dallas 


Dan Hampton, Chicago . . 
Jack Lambert, Pittsburgh . Middle Linebacker 
Ted Hendricks, Los Angeles Raiders. . ... Outside Linebacker 
Lawrence Taylor, New York Giants............... Outside Linebacker 
Everson Walls, Dallas - Cornerback 
Mike Haynes, New England. > . . -Cornerback 
Nolan Cromwell, Los Angeles Rams .................... Free Safety 
Ken Easley, Seattle -Strong Safety 
Dave Jennings, New York Giants . . Punter 
Mike Nelms, Washington Kick Returner 


THIS SEASON'S WINNERS 


A'E:C3Eastem Division. SERERE CE 2373 Miami Dolphins 
A.F.C. Central Division . . . Pittsburgh Steelers 
A.F.C. Western Division . San Diego Chargers 


A.F.C. Champion. . .. San Diego Chargers 


N.F.C. Eastern Division . .. Dallas Cowboys 
N.F.C. Central Division . . E х Green Bay Packers 
NEG. Western Division c. 9e e earls oases New Orleans Saints 


N.F.C. Champion . . . . Dallas Cowboys 


ALL THE MARBLES .... SAN DIEGO CHARGERS 


e E 


determined by personality conflicts. hair 
styles and old loyalties. 

The Las Vegas gambling conglomer- 
ates—which set point spreads for the 
entire sports-betting industry—carefully 
watch the health and well-being of only six 
to ten players on each N.F.L. squad. All 
the rest are considered expendable 

Third and most important: Last spring’s 
draft marked the richest talent influx in 
N.F.L. history. Five years ago, when the 
N.C.A.A. first permitted colleges to red- 
shirt freshmen, a large majority of the 
most promising youngsters were held out 
of competition to give them an added 
year's maturity. This year’s pro rookie 
crop, therefore, is loaded with twice the 
usual number of superstuds. 

The teams with the greatest turnover 
will probably be those whose players w 
most defiant during the strike—the Bears, 
the Lions 
Not surprisingly, those are the clubs whose 
management 
ened and whose player morale, as a result, 
is lowest. The teams that field player 


nd the Falcons, for example. 


among the least enlight- 


who 
were not so enthusiastic about the strikc— 
and whose management con: 
al post-Victorian adults—will have the 
least personnel turnover and the best shot 
at January's Super Bowl. Th 
Bay, San Diego, Dallas and М 
N.F.L. owners and general manage 
won't talk about those issues on the re 
ord, but I can assure you that all of th 
what they're thinking. If you want 
verification, just look over the scouting re- 
ports that follow, wait until the scason 
starts—and keep those programs handy 


is 


EASTERN DIVISION 
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE 
Miami Dolphins 
New York Jets 
New England Patrots 
Buffalo Bills 
Baltimore Colts 


Miami made it to the Super Bow! last 
агу because the Dolphins were deep. 
at almost every position excepi- 
gruously— quarterback. Coach Don Shu 
had to make do with two backup types, 
neither of whom could take command. He 
hopes that that problem was solved when 
the Dolphins grabbed quarterback Dan 
Marino in the draft. The only ominous 
aspect of that development is that Marino 
suffered in his senior year at Pittsburgh 
from the same malady that has haunted 
Dolphins incumbent David Woodley: a 
puzzling inconsistency. Unlike Woodley, 
Marino may have a problem with an ex- 
cess of self-adoration. 

However the signal-calling problem is 
resolved, Miami will again field one of the 
—and fastest-improving—tcams 
in the ue. The no-name defense will 
again be the best in the country, and 

(continued on page 138) 


miss danning is a 7 
feisty femme fatale— 
onscreen and off \ 

Y A 


a te ж?) 


й 
. 
een, 


Р, , | 
A a 


YOU GET a spectacular view from Sybil Danning's 
living room, a panorama that stretches from the HOL- 
LvwooD sign on the hills to the anemic skyline of 
downtown Los Angeles and westward, on an excep- 
ke те 

worthy of the late Jean Harlow, who owned the house 
back euis LA: skyline was cven less interesting 
than it is today. There's something else you Eme 
bave seen one recent (text continued on page 133) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY KEN MARCUS 


^| have to admit that sex has always 

been on important part of my life," says 

| Sybil. “I guess that when producers 
hire me to do o sexy role, they don't 

think Ml eel о coach or ony Kn of 


"Туе always been attracted to men who. 
have something to say far themselves,” 
explains Sybil. “I like a man wha has 

a mind af his own and isn't just a puppy 
dog who does everything | want.” That, 
she admits, doesn't necessarily make far 
a strong relationship. “At the beginning, 
I think men usually like me for my inde- 
pendence, but after a while, they became. 
possessive. And that can't be.” 


Sybil believes everything has both its. 
positive and its negative sides. “The more 
intense the positive sides are, the mare 
intense the negative ones become. I've 

. never hod a relationship in which we never 
argued, in which there were never any 
tears, never anyone getting upset. Some 
people have very mild relatianships, 

but maybe they are missing avt on the 
intensity of a very deep ane.” 


“Lalmost got married two years ago,” 
Sybil recalls. "He was young—27— 
and for my birthday, we flew to Tahiti 
and he proposed. For the first time in 
my life, | said yes. The moment 1 said 
that, everything changed. He asked why 
1 was having business meetings at night 
and who I was out with, all those things 
that were never questioned before. 
couldn't live like that. | broke it off." 


day from that living room—a fight. Not Al 
but enough of a scuffle to prove that Sybil 
woman who's not afraid of getting physical to achieve 
what she wants. 

What she wanted was privacy. It was time for her to 
do an interview and her press agent/boyfriend 
planned on sticking around. Sybil suggested that he 
let her talk with the writer alone. He protested, 
reminding her of their (continued on page 152) 


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Starting at the top: 

The top of a Volkswagen Robbit 
Convertible is a symphony of old 
fashioned hand fitting and spaceage 
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It even has a proper gloss rear 
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The body is made ot the Karmann 


Coachworks in Osnabrück, West 
Germany where human hands still 
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Exomine it closely: body panels fit. 
Doors close flush. And you can see 
your face in the bright enamel finish 

lis engine? A temple of efficiency: 
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Steering: Rack-ond-pinion. Front 


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Soas youcansee, the Volkswagen 
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Pictured: The Wollsburg Limited Edition model. Special white seals, white alloy wheels, white convertible top all standard 


Who cares? 


136 


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I DIDN'T SHE SAID SHE DISLIKES WHATS 
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BILL JOHNSON 


PLAYBOY 


138 


PRO FOOTBALL PREVIEW 


(continued from page 122) 


“College seniors tend to have nervous breakdowns 
after learning they've been drafted by Baltimore." 


fullback Andra Franklin (this decade's 
Larry Csonka) will lead a no-thrills ball- 
control attack 
Coaching changes in pro football 
ranchises are almost always accompanied 
by emotional and operational disruptions 
and a falling off in on-field performance. 
‘The transition from Walt Michacls to Joe 
to New York been so smooth 
and cordial, however, that the Jets’ rise to 
national prominence will continue un 
abated. Walton is more oflensive-minded 
than Michael nd the Jets will probably 
throw the ball more often than a year ago. 
No other changes should be noticeable. 
Only а few years ago, the Jets were a 
ge team, but they've had the pa 
tience to rebuild methodically through the 
draft. Thirty-four of last year’s players 
came from the past seven draft 
This year, at long last, the Jets enjoyed 
the luxury of drafting for future needs. 
They pulled off one of the drafts major 
stun by selecting an obscure quarter- 
back named Ken O'Brien in the first 
round. Ken O'Brien? That's right—he'll 
make playci sonnel director Mike 
Hickey look like a genius in a few years. 
The Patriots’ success (or lack thereof) 
this year will depend largely on how well 
the pl ego wounds have healed alter 
а year of bootcamp regimen under coach 
Ron Myer. A year ago, Myer took over a 
squad that had been mired in the same old 
ckadaisical motions since Chuck Fai 
banks became coach in 1973. He inherited 
a large contingent of congenital belly 
achers who were, not surprisingly, one of 
the more militant groups during the strike, 
Myer put an end to partying on road 
trips (the Patriots had lost all their away 
games the season before he arrived) and 
has implemented a stringent. physical- 
conditioning program. Further improve- 
ment this season, though, will depend d 
whether or not the offense (especially the 
passing game) can be upgraded. Myer 
went into the draft looking for a top- 
quality wide receiver and a young quarter- 
back to groom for the future. He hit the 
jackpot. Quarterback Tony Eason and rc- 
ceivers Darryal Wilson and Stephen Starr- 
I 1 capable of bevo: s starters, if 
not stars, the first time they put on pad 
‘The New England fans, turned off by 
the bitching of some of those players, are 
solidly behind Myer, who produced a w 
ning season his first year at the control 
New Bullalo ch Kay Stephenson in- 
herits a ball club riddled with disse 
While there are ny unpaid bills, the 
players are bitter about salary levels and 
about the departure (for Seattle's greener 
pastures) of popular former coach Chuck 


g are 


n. 


Knox. But Stephenson has the personal 
qualifications to heal the wounds. At 39, 
he is the youngest head coach in the 
league; he looks more like a quarterback 
He is low-key, laid-back and coldly logical, 
with a stecl-hard emotional make-up. All 
are qualities he'll need to straighten out 
the disarray brought on by a benighted 
ownership. 


n's first job is to fix a defense 
ned by age and attrition. The draft 
brought two classy kers, Darryl 
nd Trey Junkin, plus defensive end 
Jimmy Payne. Payne has the tools to be 
come an All-Pro. 

The offensive unit received even more 
help in the able bodies of quarterback Jim 
Kelley and tight end Tony Hunter. So 
while 5 xactly blue over Bulfa- 
lo, they're not as gray as usual. 

Baltimore's dismal no-win performance 
last fall was more a failure of attitude than 
bility. The Colts’ morale has been mis- 
ble since Robert Irsay bought. the 
franchise II years ago, bu 
many of the pla 
content to punch in, punch out and draw 
pay checks. Coach Frank Kush, no 
y violet, is giving 
ters. A practitioner of Parris 
training methods, Kush will refine the 
of creative ass kicking in pre-season camp- 
All recompense for being the 
crummiest team in the league is the inher- 
itance of the first pick in the draft, and that 
was a major windfall for the Colts. They 
then swapped quarterback John Elw. 
the most prized drafice of the past decade, 
to Denver for oflensive lineman Chris Hin- 
ton (the Broncos’ number-one draft choice 
this year), quarterback Mark Herrmann 
and the Broncos’ number-one draft choice 
for next year. The deal will help Balu 
more’s prospects only if all of the draftees 
show up for pre-season camp. Unfortu 
nately, computerized analysis. shows 
high statistical tendency among colle 
seniors to have nervous breakdowns after 
they've. been. drafted by Balti- 


'alley 


ics aren't 


last season, 


learning 
morc. 

Best bets to help the Colts regain re 
spectability are defensive rookies Vi 
Maxwell and George Achica, Kush w 
able to use all of his new talent, plu 
motcly | ing free agents or rejects 
from other tr: camps. The Colis, in 
short, need help everywhere. 

• 

The fortunes of all pro footba 
are cyclical, and the evidence 
that the Pittsburgh 
round again. Chuck Noll's team is 
with gem-quality youngsters. The sq 
hed last season with 15 first-year play- 


ers on the roster, all of whom will benefit 
from an extra year’s experience, Such 
veterans as quarterback Terry Bradshaw, 
fullback Franco Harris and linebacker 
Jack Lambert give the team stability. 
The Steelers still need a flashy wide 
receiver, plus reinforcements in the defen- 
sive line and secondary. Two rooki 


down starting jobs their first year. Look fe 


Walter Abercrombie to storm in among 
the league’s premier runners during this, 
his sophomore season 

ncinnati, itionally one of the 
leagues more stable franchises, lost only 
two games last fall, so the Bengals would 
appear to be candidates for the Super 
Bowl, right? Unfortunately, serious prob- 
lems are festering beneath the surface. 


CENTRAL DIVISION 
‘AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE 
Pittsburgh Steelers. . . . . © 1-5 
Cincinnati Bengals . . . 10-6 


Cleveland Browns. . . 6-10 
Houston Oilers . . Sil 


The defensive unit, one of the N.F.L.'s 
best two years ago, went limp last fall. 
Complacency is given as the oficial cause, 
but discontent with salary levels may be a 
bigger factor. Even more threatening to 
the Bengals’ prospects are ongoing salary 
disputes with several key ой players 
Quarterback Ken Anderson, for example, 
resents taking home a salary that is only 
half that of Houston's aging Arc 
Owner Paul Brown, notoriously 
parsimonious, isn't likely to cough up 
generous amounts of cash, so the resent- 
ment will probably continue. The d 
brought two superstud rookies, center 
Dave Rimington and defensive back Ray 
Horton. Both will make immediate con- 
tributions if the salary scales fall from 
Brown's eyes. 

The Cleveland Browns, a team with too 
many problems to solve in a single year, 
will struggle just to stay out of thc basc- 
ment. Among the major worries are two of 
the squad’s more publicized players, Brian 
ре and Tom Gousineau 
Sipe was the banner-waving Friedrich 
Engels of the players’ strike, but after the 
exploited quarterback returned to his 
$350,000-a-year “slave job.” he was a bust 
and was replaced by Paul McDonald 
pe's chances of winning his job back in 
pre-season drills are slim 

Linebacker C au, at $300,000 per 
year, was the second-highest-paid. player 
in the N.E.L. last year—and only thc 
third-best linebacker for the Browns. The 
that reput 
a superflake is unjustified, citing 
Cousincau's recent. sartorial exchange— 
his earring for a three-piece suit. 

The Browns went into the di 
nforcements in both lines and ¢ 


ШЫ 


w office insists his. 


ome у finie ids مچ‎ 


Fora 177 {24 А poster ol the ad. send $3.00 check or money order payable to Anheuser-Busch, Inc. Dept 4-D, One Busch Pisce. St Louis MO 63118 
ن‎ ‘Alone Ln wass CHLOE DRESSES VOU whee Ded 


PLAYBOY 


140 


tackle Bill Gontz should make contribu- 
tions, but the sleeper in the Browns’ draft 
will turn out to be tight end ‘Tim Stracka. 

Houston fans thought the Astros were 
bad. Now here come the Oilers. Goach Ed 
Biles was hired two years ago, alter Bum 
Phillips was fired for fielding an offense 
that was considered too conservative. 
Biles's heralded diversification has made 
difference, to be sure: The offense is so dis- 
aster prone, watching ke watching 
Skylab in action. 

The Oilers h 
terbacks, Arci 


е two high-quality qua 
Manning and Gifford 
Nielsen, but little else to qualify them as a 
respectable professional outfit. The cav- 
alry is desperately needed in nearly all 
areas, especially in the offensive line and 
the defensive secondai 
fhe Oilers had six picks in the first 
rounds of the draft and, provid 
ly, they reaped a bonanza. Offensive lin 
men Bruce Matthews and Harvey Salem 
should be immediate starters. The same 
goes for di ive backs Keith Bostic and 
Steve Brown. 

With such kan reserves of talent, 
however, any improvement over last s 
son's one-win performance will depend 
largely on how well the Oilers dodge s 
ous injury. Morale some 
Houston. sportswrit ‚ now that 
Bud Adams has become an absentee own 
er and has turned control over to gencral 
manager Ladd Herzeg. 

. 

Now that M*A*S*H is gone, there's no 
unit anywhere as out of whack as San 
Diego's. The Chargers have had the be: 
offense and possibly the worst defense in 
the league. Since 1979, their carly-round 
draft picks have been devoted to offensive 
talent, while the stopper crew has sulfered 
nalign neglect. 

s time, it was diflerent. For two 
years, the С! had stockpiled choices 


“This may hurt a little, Its my bill. 


Rookie linebacker Billy Ray Smith will go 
to the Pro Bowl his first s on. Two other 
rookies, defensive backs Gill Вуга and 


WESTERN DIVISION 
AMERICAN FOOTBALL CONFERENCE. 


‘San Oiego Chargers. 124 
Los Angeles Raiders . 1-5 
Seattle Seahawks. . . 
Kansas City Chiefs  . 
Denver Broncos . . . 


Danny Walter 
I the newcomers can raise the defensive 
unit even to mediocrity, the Chargers? 
attack ought to get them to the Super Bowl 
next January. They're overdu 
AI Davis! renegade relationship with the 
t of the honchos in the Х.Е... gives hi 
Los Angeles Raiders a galvanizing us- 
against-the-world spirit. They are high for 
every game, never lethargic. If all of the 
legal spats and the genuine hostilitics bec- 
tween Davis and the rest of the league ever 
got ironed ош, the Raiders would prob- 
ably go into a slump. 
hose in charge of the team’s fortunes 
need to think about replacements for some 
m Plunkett and 
| Branch have most of their raiding be- 
hind them. It doesn't look as though thi: 
vear's draft brought any gold nuggets like 
Marcus Allen and Todd Christensen. Still, 
the Raiders should be strong. 

Seattle was in а mess of trouble until 
new general manager Mike McCormack 
and new coach Chuck Knox came to the 
rescue last fall. Both are the personable 
father-figure types sorely needed to heal 
the rancor lefi behind by the pre- 
vious regime. Knox, a ruggedly hand- 
some closet intellectual with steely blues, 
is the All-Pro at the coaching position 

The first order of business for the 
Knox years is to overhaul the Seahawks’ 
inefficient talent-cvaluation department. 
The ollensive unit, with the notable excep- 
ns of quarterback Jim Zorn and receive 


Steve Largent, was a void last fall. The de- 
fense, having received almost all the recent 
rookies, wound up in pretty good shape. 
Last spring's top draft picks. therefore, 
were attackers. Rookie running back Curt 
Warner may double the Seahawks’ offen- 
sive output all by himself Look for 
McCormack and Knox to have the Sea- 

hawks in the 1985 play-offs 
You won't recognize the Kansas City 
Chiefs. Hardly anybody did in 1982. But 
last year’s plodding, earth-hound offense 
has metamorphosed into a versatile and 
id coach John 


quarterback in pre-season drills, then ask 
him to throw the ball 40 times a game. 
Rookie Todd Blackledge will undoubtedly 
get the call. 

Mackovie brings to the Chiefs. other 
useful qualities—a tough mind and a 
stand-up personality, He won't tolerate 
the meddling and the backbiting from the 
front oflice that made former coach Магу 
Levy circle his wagons. 

The. defensive side, especially the 
secondary, will be excellent again. But 
Mackovic desperately needs reinforce- 
ments for his offensive line. as well a 
intimidating runner and great work by 
Blackledge. Rookie punter Jim Arnold will 
make a solid contribution his first year. 

Best of all of Mackovic's contributions is 
the fresh sense of optimism that blushes in 
the Chiefs. They went from sky-high be- 
fore the strike to sullen afterward, but the 
arrival of Mackovic and defensive coordi- 
nator Bud Carson has reversed the wend. 

The Denver franchise begins rebuilding 
from nowhere. The Broncos won only two 
games last fall, their worst season in a dec- 
ade. An inexplicable proclivity for turn- 
overs and decimating injuries were the 
main problems. The inroads of age are 
also beginning to show up in the once 
potent Orange Crush de 
g game— featuring С 
nd the special teams were the Broncos’ 
only discernible stre 


ths 


quarter! with Steve DeBerg 
superstar rookie John Elway, will be ¢ 
lent. Rookie lineman Mark Cooper will 


stoke up last year’s dismal blocking. 


EASTERN DIVISION 
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE 
Dallas Cowboys . 5 :- 
Washington Redskins p 
St Louis Cardinals 
New York Giants . . . 
Philadelphia Eagles . 


‘The subtle but powerful effects of group 
psychology play a more important role in 
football than most fans rea 
Dallas Cowboys have been buffeted by 
those forces more than any other te: 
The adoration of their followers is fi 
but every other team in the league 
furiated by the "America's team" mon 


ze, and the 


O UO Aris Hands er Ca. lac. 


lakeoneout 
and open itup. 


Open the hood of a new Honda Prelude. You are looking at 
a high power output engine. The design is like no other on 
the road. It was developed ` using ideas borrowed from our many 
years of international road racing experience. 

It has twelve main valves, two intake and one exhaust for 
each cylinders main combustion chamber. The result is better 
breathing and new efficiency. Dual constant-velocity carburetors 
work to further increase power output ^ at higher engine rpm. So 
acceleration is swift. Hill climbing and passing are decisive. 

Engine displacement is a low 1829cc. Yet with the standard 
5-speed transmission, it produces an enviable 100 horsepower. 

Simply put, its the kind of performance youd ~ expect from a 


Honda. Because we've built more engines under \ twolitersthan 
any other car manufacturer. So take the new Honda X Prelude 
out fora drive. It loves the fast lane. HONDA 

We make it simple. 


PLAYBOY 


12 


the Cowboys have given themselves. Dur- 
ing the weck before their final showdown 
with the Redskins last fall, Washington 
television stations showed the Tom 
Landry “When you're surrounded by Red- 
skins” American Express commercial 
innumerable times. The Redskins were 
boiling by game time. 

The Cowboys’ organization is stable as 
ever and will stay in the thick of the Super 
Bowl rat The only discernible manpower 


shortage is at lincbacker. The talent there 
is, by Dallas standards, unimposing. 
Th 


results of the Cowboys’ draft are as 
atic as ever. Except for defensive end 
Jeffcoat, the rookie crop is anony- 
mous. Inevitably, as we've noted before, 
there is a kid (rom Possum Hollow A & M 
who will be an All-Pro for Dallas a few 
years down the road. 

The Redskins’ direction this у will 
have to be away from the complacency 
that often besets Super Bowl victors 
Admirers of Joe Gibbs insist that as long 
as he's their coach, self-admiration will 
never be a problem among the Redskins. 
There are clouds on the horizon, however. 
The team needs second-tier strength in 
almost every area except the offensive line, 
young crew that improves with every 
game. The draft brought no nuggets ex- 
ell Green, who ought to be an 


‘The Redskins’ fortunes this season will 
again come down to the perform 
the freedom from injuries) of quarter 
Joe Theismann and fullback John Rig- 
gins. Coach Gibbs insists that he will dc- 
mand more from his players this year than 
ever before; but if luck and injuries work 
against them, that won't be enough. 
ny the three years of coach Jim 
tenure, St. Louis has become a 
of youth. The offen ine, a 
problem in recent years, has be built 
"The running game, led by O. J. Anderson, 
is good and getting better. 

The best harbinger of all, how 
the ascension of quarterback Neil Lomax. 
His mobility, poise and running skills 
could make him the best in the league be- 
fore long. 

The Cardinals’ feathers are thin in the 
defensive line and the secondary, so Har 
fan used the draft to stockpile fresh bodies 
for those positions. Rookie defer 
Leonard Smith and Cedric Мас 
make all the difference for the Cards 

Few clubs have ever suffered through 
more turmoil and trauma than the Giants. 
did last year. In addition to the players’ 
strike and coach Ray Perkins" announ 
ment of his departure in midseason (he 
went to Alabama to replace the late Bear 
Bryant), defection, injury and illness 
robbed the team of key pl But full- 
back Rob Carpenter has returned to camp, 
rting qu: back Phil Simms has re- 
turned to health and new coach Bill Pa 
cells has stayed home (he grew up nine 
miles from Giants Stadium) and has taken 
command. 


Bill at least knows how to relax 
Perkins was so tight-asscd 
id grim, they wouldn't even let him into 
the tavern during happy hour.” 

The del ve unit will be the Giants’ 
gth. Their linebacking crew is the best 
the league. Tailback Butch Woolfolk 
had a superb rookie season and will be 
even better this time around, ifonly a thin 
offensive line can be reinforced. The draft 
brought tight end Jamie Williams and 
tackle Karl Nelson, The Giants’ prize 
rookie, though, is safety Terry Kinard. 

‘The players? strike was probably mor 
damaging to the Philadelphia Eagles than 
to any other team, Much acrimony гє 
mained in a squad that produced one of 
the more militant player groups, and the 
team’s performance after the strike was 
dismal. The attitudinal problems were 
largely a reaction to Dick Vermeil's con 
centration-camp approach to coaching. 
New coach Marion Campbell, conversely 
a Decp South type with a morc tranquil 
psyche. "There's а new sense of lightness in 
the front offices and training rooms. 

The defense, superb two years ago, still 
has the manpower to regain its stature, but 
the offense sorely needs a bull-moose-style 
fullback to take the pressure olf halfback 
Wilbert Montgomery. If all works well, 
rookie Mike Haddix will fill that need. 

Look for Ron Jaworski’ S passing stats to 

in his second y 


receivers. Rookie pass 
will provide even more speed. It's still a 
long way down from 1980. 


CENTRAL DIVISION 
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE. 


Green Bay Packers 
Minnesota Vikings 
Tampa Bay Buccaneers 
Chicago Bears . 

Detroit lions. 


‘Traditional wisdom has it that the two 
teams that make it to the Super Bowl i 
any given year are among the | 


least victimized by dumb off ig, com- 
mit the fewest mental errors and suffer the 
least from injuries. The last factor may be 
the most important and will be the key to 
Green Bay's fortunes this season. After 
years of wallowing in near oblivion, the 
Packers are upwardly mobile, having 
made the play-olls last season for the first 
time in coach Bart Starr's eight years. The 
talent is dangerously sparse, , tha gh, espe- 
cially in the offensive line and the defensive 
secondary. 

The prize gleanings from last spring's 
drafi, defensive back Tim Lewis and offen- 
sive lineman Dave Drechsler, will help 
hold things together. Mike Miller, another 
drafice, will help upgrade an already ex- 


cellent passing game. This could be the 
year when fullback Gerry Ellis finally 
plays up to his considerable potential. 17 
all the variables fall into place, the Packers 
will have an excellent chance to make а re- 
turn to th xt January, and 
wouldn't that bc something? 

Minnesota never strays from the top for 
long, having made the play-offs 12 times 
Bud Grants 16 years as coach. The Vi- 
Kings will sce post-season action again 
if some defensive problems (a lethargic 
secondary and aging linebackers) can be 
solved. Two prize rookies, defensive back 
Joey Browner and linebacker Walker 
Ashley, could provide the answers. 
ikings' defensive line is a strength, 
reat part to the addition last 
lie Johnson, who has become 
r both on and off the turf. 
The ошу Кгатег-10—< 


thanks in 


Vikings’ prime EE but don't 
be surprised if Darrin Nelson, a tentative 
rookie last year, becomes one of the na- 
tion’s leading runners thi 

Another happy portent for the Vikings 
is the fact that the Twin Cities fans, 
ill-famed in the past for stoicism, are sud- 
denly bursting with enthusiasm. It’s a de- 
velopment that may be related to the 
warmth of the new Metrodome. Now the 
Vikings need no longer be disoriented 
when playing away from home bef 
crowds. 


; coach John McKay has 
. Hutton reputation (“When he talks, 
mn sure bet i * опе of his 
players told us), so his pledge that the 
Buccaneers will be much better this year 
must be taken seriously. McKay will have 
to rejuvenate an offense that played in last 
year’s play-offs in a coma. If the offen: 
line can do a better job of opening holes, 
James Wilder can be one of the league’s 
top ground gainers. Two rookies, cen 
Randy Grimes and tackle Kelly Thomas, 
will bruise some opponents. 

The Bucs need new blood for an ag- 
ing secondary; drafice Jeremiah Castille 
should be a starter by midseason. 

Chicago's second consecutive drop to 
the basement was duc to a dismal pass de- 
fense and to the difficulties of adjusting to 
a new coaching staff during a truncated 
season. The defensive problems, matters 
more of strategy than of manpower, will be 
addressed during pre-season drills. 

‘The Bears’ manpower problems are in 
the offensive line, where injuries and the 
inroads of age have taken a double toll. 
Prize rookie quarterback Jim McMahon 
spent most of last season тш 
life. But this draft h 
cflensivc-line prospects in memory, and 
the Bears got their share. Rookie tackle 
Jimbo Covert is a certain 1985 All-Pro. 
Another draftee, Willie Gault, will show 
opposing cornerbacks the most blazing 
speed the history of the franchise. 
Rookie Mike Richardson will help in the 
secondary. 


„think again- They stir for the 
d to turn heads. 


t to save calorie 


am's 7 with Diet Coke” jus e 
\deration, today. The shapely stir- 


gm S 


ot tea ed E 
If you think the shapely stir their SeagT' 
great taste, too! Prove it to yourself. Enjoy itin mo 


e sen WENN. 
RAM DISTILLEF 
ERS CD.. NY C. AMERICAN WHISKEY-A BLEND. | 
p 80 PROOF е 
agrams | 


"iet Coke" and “diet Coca Cola" are trade-marks of The Coca Cola Company 
а s of The Coca C 


Drink Ronrico Rum instead 

Face it, you already know what y@ur 
usual gin and vodka have to offer. 

Just try one drink mixed with Ronrico, 
and you'll realize what it is you've 
been missing all along. 

Ronrico is superbly smooth and light. 
With a surprisingly distinctive flavor that's 
bound to win you over 

Isn't it about 
time you broke Y ۲ TOI 
tradition with 2 ozs of Ronrico Rum 


E 2 thin lime slices. 
Ronrico Rum? Conade Dry Tonic 


Pour rum inte a highball 
gloss wilh ice cubes Add 
ime. Fill gloss with Tonic. 
Stir lightly, 


With a little luck (and if a high-quality 
runner can be dug up to share some of 
Walter Payton's burden), thc Bears could 
be one of th surprise teams. 

The offensive crew will be much sharper 
after a year's shakedown. Gault joins 
McMahon and receivers Ken Margerum 
and Ricky Watts in what will be one of the 
Icague's most entertaining aerial circuses. 

Last season was a big depression for De- 
troit fans, The Lions’ poor performance 
was brought on by sour grapes left over 
from the players’ strike. During spring 
camp, coach Monte Clark worked hard to 
dispel the gloom. He was successful, 
apparently, and team morale seems better. 

Clark's othe s are to get steadier 
play from the offensive line and the quar- 
terbacks and to come up with a big full- 
back to block for ly Sims. The latter 
problem was solved with the drafting of 
James “Juggernaut” Jones. You'll recog- 
¢ him. Another rookie, tackle Rick 
Strenger, will help in the trencl 

The Lions’ defensive crew, top-notch ex- 
cept for a low-grade secondary, will have 
to hold the fort while the offense rebuilds. 


WESTERN DIVISION 
NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE. 
New Orleans Saints ........ 
Atlanta Falcons . . . . 


San Francisco 49ers . 
Los Angeles Rams 


penance will end in New 
fall. The 5 5, without a 
their 16-year history, 


Miracle of miracles—they could even win 
the division. There is enough talent in 
camp that coach Bum Phillips won't have 
to do patchwork on the line-up every we 
Last spring, he was able, for the first time, 
to make draft choices that weren't based 
on emergency need: 

The best news gover City is that 
quartert on—destined for 
greatness—has recovered from the injury 
that wiped out his 1982 season. The Saints 

major prayer is for a bruising fullback 
to help George Rogers with the running. 

Most of the credit for the Saints’ emerg- 
ing respectability belongs to Phillips. Si 
his arrival, the team has gone from 
y to rock-solid organization. Inte 
conflict and coach staff uplı 
all part of the past. The fans 

illips was summarily fired three 
years ago) must be eating their hearts out. 
Or chewing on their towels. 

New Atlanta. Falcons c 
ning's first priority is to construct a de 
fense. His linebackers (especially Fulton 
Kuykendall and Buddy Curry) are capa- 
ble, but the rest is a wasteland. The draft 
strong defensive linemen— 
mes Britt d Andrew 
nce. All are good enough to start im- 
in this company. 

Henning will rejuvenate last year's tor- 
pid and unimaginative offense by aban- 


Dan He 


doning the ball-control approach (the 
Falcons had no big play all season) for a 
wide-open, anything-goes attack. The ri 
ning game, featuring William Andrews 
and Gerald Riggs, is a bright spot. 

With more entertaining games going on, 
perhaps the surly and rebellious Adan 
fans will behave with a little more civility 
and the local press will stop abusing quar- 
terback Steve Bartkowsl 

Last year, the 49ers went the way most 
teams go a year after unexpectedly win- 
ning a Super Bowl: They spent too much 
ш in their own glory. All the 
pent starring on the banguet circuit, 
doing commercial endorsements and bask- 
in the jon of Bay Area fans took 
a toll. A severe rash of injuries to a shallow 
squad helped the downfall 

Last year’s dismal 3-6 showing has dis- 
pelled any complacency, however, and 
coach Bill Walsh is kicking out the loafers. 
But some more serious problems must be 
solved if the 49ers are to return to cham- 
pionship form. Their running game is 
anemic and their blocking is ineffectual, 
allowing opposing defenses to victimize 
quarterback Joc Montana. A limp pass 
rush puts an unmanageable burden on an 
otherwise superb pass defense. T'he pas: 
ing attack, with Montana hitting Dwight 
Clark's stellar hands, is the only cl 
ass 

Walsh needed help from the draft, but 
there were few early-round choices for San 


lora 


Francisco. Rookie hallback Roger Craig 
will add some punch to the running attack. 
ms’ franchise is in chaos. The 
, a reunion of the Keystone 
Cops, is overscen by owner Georgia Fron- 
tiere, whose employees refer to her айес- 
tionately as Miss Piggy. New executive 
vice-president. Ray Nagel is a creamily 
charming social type with little pro foot- 
ball bac on less reputation 
among (000 Only one person in 
the oi ization— Jack Faulkner, director 
adons—knows much about 
im, but his job security is 
He isn't a good ass kisser. 

re is merely the latest example of 
а hallowed N.F.L. tradition of inept but 
money-laden owners who got rich and 
powerful by (if you'll pardon the word in 
this case) accident. Baseball has no 
monopoly on those. 

New head coach John Robinson, 
and unpretentious man who is liked and 
respected by everyone in the game, will 
bring some stability. His rebuilding prob- 
lems were partly alleviated by a produc- 
tive draft that brought immediate help in 
spectacular runner Eric Dickerson and re- 
ceiver Henry Ellard. 

The Rains’ most desperate need, howev- 
er, is a top-grade defensive lineman who 
an play right now. Rookie tackle Doug 
Reed can probably play soon, but for the 
Rams, that may not be enough. 


olid 


“Little Debbie is pregnant by 
her uncle . . . Melanie has herpes . . . 
poor blind Bianca was raped by her tutor . . . and you come 
home with a hard-on!” 


143 


PLAYBOY 


144 


V 
MUNDOS SIGN vonina pm peso 


“Splashing into the water, face down, the gun ready, 
he turned a spiral to examine what was there.” 


stood behind him, rolling the sailcloth 
onto the boom as far as he could, passing it 
to Bowen until the flour-sack sail was 
furled around the wood and the boom was 
parallel with the mast. 

“Gabriel, watch out,” Bowen said. 

“You OK, Mistah Bone. You become 
ahn expert.” 

But Bowen wanted to know that Gabriel 
was ready if he should lose his footing in 
the pitch of the boat. He lashed the boom 
and the mast tight together with the sheet 
line, grunting, as it took all his strength to 
lift the long, heavy mast from its step. He 
rested the butt on the seat, spread his arms 
on the poles, like a weight lifter, and low- 
ered the mast slowly to Gabriel and then 
to Mundo, who had his arms up ready to 
receive it 

When the mast was down, they passed it 
back to Mundo far enough that he could 
stow it under the seats. Bowen pulled the 
two handmade oars from the gear in the 
bottom of the boat. Slipping them through 
the rope oarlocks midway on each gun- 
wale, he jammed them back into the boat 
and left them ready while the boat drifted. 
It was still early in the morning. 

“Sun hot,” Gabriel said. He always said 
that before he set to work. 

Daht's right. 

“Watah too cool,” he said, cupping his 
hand into the sea and splashing his face. 
Bowen stood up to negotiate a piss with 
the churning of the boat but remained 
there for some minutes, prick in hand, un- 
able to relax. 

“Mahn, jump in de sca if you want a 
piss.” 

He removed his shirt and sat down with 
his legs over the gunwalc, Mundo and 
Gabriel Icaned toward the opposite side of 
the hull to counterbalance the canoelike 
boat and then quickly leaned back after 
Bowen hefted himself over the side. He let 
himself sink a few feet below the keel, felt. 
the temperature subtly change, cooler and 
cooler until it was all the same, the blue 
pressure bearing against him completely. 
He opened his eyes briefly, welcoming the 
rough sting of the salt that took away his 
drowsiness. He kicked back to the surface, 
spinning in slow circles for the pleasure of 
it, relieved himself and struggled back into 
the boat. Without a diving mask to see 
clearly what else was there with him, he 
did not like to stay in the water long. No 
matter how casual Mundo and Ga- 
briel were around sharks, Bowen couldn't 
muster the same aloofness. They chided 
him about that, but still, Mundo wore a 
cummerbund of old sheet around his waist 
for bandaging in case of trouble. And Ga- 
brie!'s left arm was arced with purple scars 


across his biceps. “Ahn eel do daht. Shahrk 
doan molest mahn. Irs true. 

Bowen dried his face and hands on his 
shirt and put it back on as protection 
against the sun. Underneath the bow seat, 
he kept an oatmeal tin. He stretched and 
found it, unscrewing the lid. Inside, 
wrapped in a plastic bag to keep out mois- 
ture, were a pack of Piclrojas, a box of 
matches, the precious spear points and a 
sack of hard candy labeled simply putces, 
which he had bought at Alvaro's right be- 
fore the fishermen had set sail from Provi- 
dence eight days before. The candy had 
turned gummy in the sea air. He took a red 
piece and to its waxy surface, chew- 
ing vigorously and swallowing the whole 
lump without determining its flavor. The 
sweetness took the salty, sour heat out of 
his mouth. Mundo asked for a Pielroja and 
Bowen lit one for him, smoking it down a 
bit before he passed it along with the point 
for Mundo's spear. Bowen switched places 
with Gabriel and began to row, bringing 
the boat around into the current, pulling 
against the tide just enough to stay where 
they were. 

The black men silently outfitted them- 
selves, and to Bowen, they already had the 
grim look of hunters on them. The 
arette jutted straight out, like a weapon, 
in Mundo’s tight lips. He propped his long 
metal gun between his legs and unclasped 
its spear, screwing on the point, and then 
set the gun aside while he pulled black 
flippers snugly onto his white-soled feet. 
Bowen watched him; each piece of equip- 
ment he added seemed to alter his human- 
ness, and now, morc so than with the 
dream business, Mundo was becomi 
penctrable, the fricndship between them a 
triviality. From under his seat, the fisher- 
man took his diving mask and spit on the 
inside of the glass, spreading the tobacco- 
flecked phlegm with his fingers to prevent 
the glass from fogging. He washed the 
mask out in the sea and adjusted it to rest 
on his forehead, pressing into the short 
curls of his hair—not kinky hair, like Ga- 
briel’s, but more Latin, straighter and oily. 
He sucked the ash of the cigarette down 
next to his lips, knocking the butt off into 
the water with his tongue before it burned 
him. He exhaled deeply and then inhaled 
and then exhaled normally. Turtles made 
that same noise when they sounded for air, 
thought Bowen, that sudden, single rasp of 
inhalation popping out of the sea from no- 
where. Mundo’s eyes were expressionless 
without pupils, the irises dark, without 
color. “Go fuck your big turtle,” Bowen 
said to himself. He began to sce that the 
prophecy was an easy one—like a hand- 
some man boasting he would seduce an 


available woman—because there were 
plenty of turtles in the water. This was 
their mating season, the end of the hurri- 
canes. They had come from all over the 
oceans to return here to breed 

“АМ right," Mundo said and pulled his 
mask down over his eyes and nose 
He was out of the boat promptly, dis- 
appearing silently below the surface. 

Gabriel procrastinated, sharpening thc 
point of his spear on the block of limestone 
they carried in the boat. Bowen heard 
Mundo purge his snorkel. Looking over 
his shoulder to check the diver's position, 
he began to row. 

“Wait a minute, Mistah Bone,” Gabriel 
said. He slung his legs over the side and 
crossed himself vaguely, g the crucifix 
from his chest to kiss it. He fitted the 
mouthpiece of the snorkel behind his lips 
and they bulged apishly. Splashing into 
the water, face down, the gun ready, he 
turned a spiral to examine what was there 
below. i 

Bowen pulled ahead six times and then 
paused, unable to locate Mundo, Gabriel 
was to Bowen’s left, kicking mech: 
into the two-knot current, his gun celle 
from clbow to elbow. Mundo surfaced ten 
yards ahead, going down again like a po 
poise. Bowen went after him, quickly over 
the glossy boil that marked Mundo's dive. 

He leaned out of the boat and looked 
down. Below him, in about cight fathoms 
of water, he could see Mundo in pieces, 
distorted fragments of motion rising and 
coalescing into human shape, the curve of 
his dark back floating up to him, the red, 
faded trunks looking like raw skin under 
the water. 

His back broke the surface first, a long 
brown bubble, smooth and headless. The 
snorkel poked up, gargled and wheczed. 
"There was a moment's calm before the wa- 
ter in front of the diver was flying apart, 
twisting and scattering and white. Blood 
swelled olive-green from the center of it all. 
Mundo fought for control over someth 
Bowen had not yct fully seen. Again the 
was quiet. And then this: Mundo's torso 
suddenly out of the water, pendulous be- 
side the boat, his arm dipping the spear 
down inside and letting a slab of great, 
furious life slide off it at Bowen’s feet. The 
fish was as long as the arm that had re 
leased iolently thrashing, the fan of its 
dorsal spines sharp enough to cut through 
leather. Bowen fell back off his seat, draw- 
ing his legs out of the way. 


nd the ironwood mallet and bent 
over, striking at the fish, unable to hit it 
effectively. Blood and bits of rubbery tissue 
sprayed onto his chest. Finally, the fish’s 
movements slowed and he was able to 
direct a clean blow to the broad, bull-like 
slope of its head. 

“Goddamn it.” 

The shot had not been clean. The spear 
had struck behind the head but too low to 
hit the spinal cord. It had entered through 
the huge gills—thus, the excess of blood 


"I'm not screwing my secretary, darling. This is my 
new boss, and she’s screwing me!” 


145 


PLAYBOY 


146 


now in the boat—and had come out on the 
other side, below the pectoral fin. The 
blood all over Bowen made him feel filthy. 
He was stone-eyed now, full of his job. 
Mundo's head bobbed along the gun- 
wale. He was amused. 

“You like daht one, mahn?” 

“Shoot better,” Bowen said. 

Mundo laughed wickedly and sank out 
of sight. Bowen could hear the click of the 
spear sliding into the latch of the trigger as 
Mundo reloaded the spring-action gun 
against the hull of the boat. Gabriel was 
calling. He held his spear in the air, a lob- 
ster skewered on the end of it. Bowen was 
there in a minute, screwing off the flanged 
spear point to take the catch into the boat 

He set the oars and stood up to re- 
arrange the gear under his seat. Mundo's 
fish was a grouper, by Bowen's estimate 25 
to 30 pounds. To shield it from the sun, he 
tugged it into the cleared space below the 
seat. The lobster was thrown into the stern 
behind a coil of rope. He used to put the 
lobsters with the fish, but if they weren’t 
dead, they kept crawling out from beneath 
him and he would stab his feet on the 
thorns of their shells. Before he could sit 
down again, Gabriel was beside the boat 
with another lobster. 

“Four more in de hole, boy. I tellin’ you, 
de bird was good luck." 

Bowen hovered over Gabriel until the 
diver had brought up the remaining 
crayfish. It took some time, and only then 
did Bowen search for Mundo. He spotted 
him far off, impatiently waving the boat 
forward. The muscles in Bowen's arms 
cramped from the last rowing. By the time 
he reached him, Mundo had his face back 
down in the water, staying afloat with his 
fins. Bowen had to shout to get his atten- 
tion. Mundo raised his head, a glare in his 
eyes exaggerated by the mask. He lifted a 
fish and hurled it into the boat. 

"What's the matter?” Bowen asked de- 
ively. “Sharks?” 

“Keep up, mahn. Keep up. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Bowen shrugged off 
Mundo's admonishment. It was impossi- 
ble to stay with both divers unless both 
divers stayed together. He took his own 
mask and held it on top of the watcr, pro- 
viding a small, round window to the scene 
below. There were no dark, darting shad- 
ows, nothing ominous at all. 

Mundo swam crosscurrent into deeper 
water, his flippers continuously slapping 
the surface. In pursuit of something be- 
neath him, he doubled back and sped past 
the boat headed in the opposite direction. 
He vanished as Bowen put all his effort 
into turning the boat around, determined 
to keep on top of the action. He heard the 
rasp then, a sound like that of a vacuum 
filling with air. Off the starboard, he saw 
the green, pale-throated head of the turtle 
bouncing in the swell, and he understood 
Mundo's urgency, because two or three 
turtles would double the value of a day's 
work. He couldn't see Mundo, but he 
knew that the man was carefully ascending 


fer 


beneath the creature, taking slow aim. ‘The 
turtle lurched forward and tried to sub- 
merge as the spear shot through one of its 
hind flippers. Mundo surfaced, hauling 
the spear line in until the turtle was beside 
him, hopelessly struggling to shake the 
iron rod from its leg. Bowen was there. 

“Nice work,” Bowen said. “You did it.” 

Mundo handed the gun to Bowen. 
While Bowen held the turtle by the rim of 
its shell, Mundo wrestled to extract the 
spear. Once he had succeeded in unscrew- 
ing the point, it slid out easily from the 
thin flesh of the flipper. 

“He's a 

“Not so big.” 

“Нех a male and pretty big. That was 
your sign." 

“Nah,” Mundo grunted. 

“Close enough.” 

“Dis no hawksbill. Lift him up now.” 

The green turtle weighed close to 100 
pounds. Bowen almost {ell out of the boat 
pulling it in. The turtle banged down the 
curve of the hull, its flippers clawing for 
water that wasn't there, a dull, callused 
scrape actoss the wood; its mouth gasping; 
the lower mandible unlocked, like an old 
mans jaw. ГЇЇ be damned, thought 
Bowen; this was the biggest turtle their 
boat had brought in here on the banks. 
Only two loggerheads netted by Ezckicl's 
boat were bigger. 

He turned the heavy green on its back. 
The yellow plates of its belly glowed like 
butter. He set his feet on them, feeling the 
turtle’s cold-bloodedness. Its sea smell was 
clean, without mucus or secretion. From a 
wooden toolbox, Bowen took the small 
bundle of palm fronds that every Provi- 
dence fishing boat carried. He pulled two 
short strands from it. Grabbing one of the 
turtles anterior flippers, he placed it 
against the hull and with the tip of his 
diving knife punched a hole through the 
enameled flesh that formed the shape of a 
man’s hand with the fingers fused 
together. He did the same to the opposite 
flipper and then threaded the cuts with a 
frond, tying the ends off in a square knot. 
With its fore and hind legs thus bound, the 
turtle was immobile. 

Pra! aht both ends," the fishermen 
called it. 

"Why don't you use g di 
Bowen had asked when he first saw Ga- 
bricl bind a turtle. 

“Palm leaf nice,” Gabriel told 
“Turtle арка daht. He know mahn 
respect him.” 

Bowen rowed on, occasionally pau: 
to fill the calabash bailer with sea water to 
cool the turtle, which now sullered in thc 
sun. The first time he did that, the turtle 
curled its head and appeared to look at 
him. Bowen turned away. It made him feel 
foolish, but he did not like to see a sea tur- 
Че eyes, They were too mammalian and 
expressive, a more vivid brown than the 
eyes of a human being, lugubrious; they 
teared out of water, salty, silken tears 
beading down the reptilian scales, and he 


did not like to see it, In the ocean, there 
was no movement with more grace, no bal- 
let more perfect, than the turtle’s. 

The men worked for several more hours 
before switching. Mundo shot another 
turtle, an average-sized hawksbill, which 
Bowen tied and was able to fit under the 
seat. There was a long period with no luck. 
Then, like a magic returning, the divers 
found fish again. The boat began to fill up. 

Bowen tended to the divers, the citric 
tang of sweat in his nostrils, his eyes closed 
now and then to soothe them from the 
glare. His navy trunks and his white T- 
shirt were smeared with blood and h 
the gray slime that came off the fish. Trail- 
ing the swimmers, his back to them as he 
rowed forward, he counted the strokes of 
the oars, an empty meditation broken by 
the need to cool the turtles or to take 
another fish into the boat. Alone again, he 
would look up, his thoughts not yet refo- 
cused on his labor, and be startled by the 
uncut geography of the sea, the desolate 
beauty, the isolation. 

The sun was straight up and fierce. 
Patches of wind blew off the glassy veneer 
of the surface. The waves lumped high 
enough to conceal the divers if they 
weren't close to the boat. Mundo and 
Gabriel treaded water together, casually 
talking, their snorkels jutting out from 
under their chins. Bowen came over to 
them. Hours in the sea had made Mundo. 
look younger, Gabriel older. They clung to 
the side of the boat. 

“Mistah Bone, dis Jewfish Hole a pretty 
spot. Come give Gabriel a rest.” 

Bowen stowed the oars and went to the 
bow for his diving gear, anxious to leave 
the confinement of the boat, the blind 
sense of being denied something others 
took for granted. They would not always 
let him fish. They had spent their lives on 
the water; for all his effort, Bowen could 
not begin to match their skill. On a good 
day, though, he would take over for Ga- 
briel. Mundo was in love with the reef and 
knew that Bowen, more than Gabriel ever 
would, felt the same way. There were 
times when he would hurry Bowen out of 
the boat if there were something extraor- 
dinary he wanted the white man to sce. 
They swam together like two farm boys at 
a carnival, exploring everywhere, the joy 
of it all and the mystery running between 
them like electricity. 

Bowen lowered himself into the water 
after Gabriel was settled in the boat. His 
ears filled with the steady, fizzing static of 
the ocean moving against its cup of earth. 
The reef seemed scooped out here, forming 
a wide, horseshoc-shaped arena, ten 
fathoms deep in the middle where they 
were, the bottom ticring up in amber clus- 
ters of coral until the perimeter shallowed 
in a dense thicket of staghorn branches. A 
school of fry, a long cloud of fla 
arrows, passed with the current towa 
them, herded by watchful barracuda. It 
parted and reclosed around the divers, 


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obscuring them from cach others sight 
for several minutes. 

The sandy paths of the surge channels 
wove through the swaying flora on the bot- 
tom, con g up, like white ribbons, 
from the open end of the pool, where the 
water gathered more dimension and the 
channels disappeared into a fog of infinite 
blue. Here, the current pushed in from 
outside the reef. 

They started to si 
Mundo's lead. Gabri 
a shout. 

“Mundo, me sec a boat!” 

Mundo swam, like a dog, with his head 
up and coughed out his snorkel: “Who?” 

“Cahn’t sce. He way up, mahn.” 

Mundo stuck his head back into the wa- 
ter, uninterested in that piece of news. He 
led them closer to the coral walls, turning 
again into the current when the water 
reached about 40 feet, the depth at which 
Bowen managed best. They swam toward 
the wide mouth of the canyon, which kept 
expanding as they kicked onward. Beyond, 
the visibility blurred and faded, a chiaro- 
scuro lanced by drifting shafts of sunlight. 
The blank distance shadowed and mate 
rialized into shapes, accumulating more 
and more detail as they moved ahead. 

Bowen swam with his gun out in front of 
him, like a soldier on patrol. Surveying 
isolated button of brain coral, Mundo 
pointed to the antennae of a spiny lobster. 
Bowen jackknifed and dived, missed the 
first shot. On the second shot, he took aim 
more carefully. There was a screeching 
sound of old armor when he yanked the 
lobster from its den. He ascended quickh 
fighting for the sterling surface as he ran 
out of air, Gabriel came alongside. 

"I see two guys,” he reported, taking the 
spear from Bowen and removing the point. 
“Maybe daht's Ezekiel.” 

Bowen didn't respond. It wasn't so un- 
usual to see another of the boats of in th 
distance during the course of the day. The 
fact that the boat was close enough for 
Gabriel to sec the men in it didn’t mean 
anything to Bowen. He reloaded his gun 
and swam away to catch up with Mundo. 

Together, they continued ahead, frc- 
quently descending to inspect a cave or a 
niche in the polychromatic reef. Fish were 
everywhere, but they sought only those 
that appealed to the restaurants of the 
mainland. Cutting іп and out of a pink 
forest of gorgonian coral, a mako shark 
rose toward them curiously but then 
stopped halfway and returned to its prowl- 
ing. The shark was too small and too 
preoccupied to worry Bowen; still, he had 
scd upon seeing it, and adrenaline had 
1o his heart. Mundo plummeted, 
d the shark interested in a red snapper 
the silt for food and shot the fish. 
The Shark skirted away when Mundo 
abbed at it with his empty gun. The boat 
was there when he surfaced. 

“It’s Ezekiel,” Gabriel told the two of 
them. He slipped a hand into the gills of 
the fish and took it from Mundo. 


im. Bowen followed 
1 stopped them with 


Henry Billings. Dey driftin’ on de current 
from down de outside." 

“Turtliw,” Mundo said. He handed his 
spear to Bowen while he defogged his 


cl and Henry were too old to dive 
any more—“Divin' squeeze up a mahn's 
insides"— but they went along on expedi- 
tions to the banks to line fish, net turtles 
nd collect conch from the shallows. They 
id not mingle much with the other fisher- 
men, who were mostly young and scorned 
the insipidness of fishing with a hand line 
and a hook. Gaunt and unhealthy, Ezekiel 
looked like a wrinkled black puppet, 
simian with lackluster eyes. He suffered 
the bitter condescension of the islanders 
because he was too much a drunkard. 
Most people treated Billings, round and 
smooth-faced, as though he were a moron 
Bowen had never heard him speak a word; 
some said he had been like that for 20 
years. 

“Dey lookin’ ed, boy,” Gabriel 
said, standing up to get a better view. 
Bowen and Mundo could not sec the other. 
boat from the water. “Ezekiel buryin’ he 
head in de watah glahss, ahnd Henry 
rowin’ Паһ, hahd like he racin'" 

Mundo pushed away from the boat, 
followed by Bowen, who had trouble 
catching his breath. "They were now 
approaching the same windward channel 
in the barrier reef that they had sailed 
through earlier in the morning. The water 
doubled in depth; the bottom became 
more sand than coral, Bowen kicked hard- 
er to keep up with Mundo as the current 
increased. It tugged against him relent- 
lessly and he began to tire. He halted and 
pressed himself out of the water as far as 
possible but could not sce Mundo over the 
swell of the waves. He tried to move ahead 
gain, grew discouraged and let the tide 
p him back to the boat. 

Gabriel helped him aboard. Bowen saw 
that they were going out through the chan- 
nel while Ezekiel’s boat was steering in 150 
feet or so in front of them off the port. 
Mundo was almost halfway between the 
two boats, still headed straight upcurrent. 

“Dey on de trail of a turtle," Gabriel 
said. They watched Ezekiel take one hand 
off the water glass and reach behind him- 
self to grasp an iron-hooped net used to 
catch turtles. Ezekiel called back to Henry, 
urging him forward. He held the net over 
the bow, waiting for position. Mundo spun 
in the water. He looked quickly around 
and then back at his own boat. Bowen saw 
him, imagined he saw a calculating look in 
his enlarged eyes. He stood on the aft seat 
nd waved his arms at the diver. Mundo 
put his head back down and charged 
across the channel, angling toward Е 
iel’s boat. 

“Mundo!” 

Bowen was not certain whether or not 
Mundo realized that Ezekiel's boat was so 
close. He yelled ag: 

“Mundo!” 

Ezekiel positioned the net and dropped 
it. Mundo was past the center of the chan- 
nel and nearing the other boat. In an 


зм 


instant he was out of sight under the water. 
Perched in front of the boat, his face hid- 
den by the wooden sides of the water gl 
Ezekiel became more and more anit 
until he had come to his feet, his head still 
stuck, ostrichlike, in the box. He took one 
hand off the glass to shake hi : 

"Mundo, he shouted in a garbled 
voice, difficult to understand. "Mundo. 
Wha’ de fuck!” 

“Oh, shit,” Gabriel said. “Look Ezek: 
dere bein’ so voicetrous. Mahn, he cryi 
Jot of nonsense, you know.” 

Mundo had been down for about two 
minutes and his limit was four. Bowen 
pulled on his mask and rolled over the side 
of the boat, biting down on the mouth 
piece of his snorkel just as he hit the water. 
“Son of a bitch," he said to himself, secing 
what was happening below. 

Suspended in deep water six or seven 
fathoms down, Mundo struggled to free a 
turde from Ezekiel’s net. One hind flipper 
was loose, pierced by the spear and sea- 
anchored by the gun that Mundo had let 
drop. The diver held the turtle by the stub 
of its penis tail and used his tree hand to 
untangle the netting from the other back 
flipper. Bent around the turtle so that his 
feet were in front of him, he kicked himself’ 
backward to resist Ezekiel’s effort to rai 
the net. The flipper finally pulled clear and 
flailed wildly about. 

With one set of flippers extended, the 
turtle was easily Mundo’s length, the ca 
amel-and-yellow carapace twice the man’ 
width. The exaggerated size even more ex- 
aggerated by the water’s magnification, 
the turtle seemed unreal, like a cartoon 
monster, to Bowen. Mundo moved spi 
itedly, hovering now on the back of 
the turtle. He reached for a front flipper, 
but the turtle fought him. Each time he 
worked the limb out of the net, the turtle 
jerked and recaught itself. The diver 
off the turtle as if he were a rider 
ismounted up into the sky. He ex- 
haled as he ascended, great silver spheres 
of air boiling from his mouth, forming a 
column that he appeared to climb, hand 
over hand, to the surface. Bowen heard the 
agonized suck of his inhalation—'Mu 
do!” This from Ezckiel—and then he was 
down again. 

By the time Mundo was back to the tur- 
tle, Ezekiel had hauled the net up nearer to 
the surface. Bowen dived to help his part- 
ner, but he had entered the water without 
his fins and could not make the depth. At 
the bottom of his descent, he saw Mundo 
bend the turde’s left foreleg back through 
the net and wrench it over the shell. As 
Bowen turned upward, he heard the pop of 
the turtle’s elbow j locating. 

Gabriel threw Bowen his . By the 
time he had them on, the turtle was out of 
the net, its two forcflippers dangling 
awkwardly, the third flipper weighted by 
the spear, the fourth performing its sad 
ballet. Mundo dipped below the turtle, re- 
g the gun that hung from the spear 
by its line. He swam sluggishly toward the 


air, with the turtle in tow by its impaled 
flipper The 
sight of the black man and the turtle was 
like a dream-born image floating in cool 
ether. The bright surface gleamed like the 
edge of sleep; the head of the leviathan 
turned from it toward the dark mouth of 
the channel that sloped down and away. 

They came up between the two boats 
Ezckiel began his protest. 

“Daht my hawksbill, Mundo. Wha’ 
hahppen, mahn? Wha’ hahppen?" 

“Here now, Ezekiel,” Gabriel shouted 
back. “You makin’ a mess ah noise, boy 
Stop dis ugliness.” 

Mundo kept his back to Ezekiel’s boat 
and would not answer the charge. He 
dragged the spear line in, bringing the tur- 
tle between himselfand Bowen. Both men 
caught hold of opposite sides of the shell 
and waited for Gabriel to position himself. 
The turtle wagged its huge head back and 
forth out of the water. 

“Wha’ hahppen, mahn?" 

“Ezekiel,” Gabriel said across the dis- 
tance between the boats. “You shut up.” 

“Wha’ hahppen, mahn?” 

"Shut up now or come here ahnd take 
some licks.” 

Mundo and Bowen faced each other 


Bowen watched them ri: 


over the mound of the carapace. Blood 
clotted on the side of Mundo’s face. 
“Doan move up too high, Mistah 


Bone,” Mundo warned. “Keep in de mid- 
dle or he snahp уо 


“You're bleeding some.” 

Mundo just grinned. To Bowen, his grin 
seemed to celebrate mischievousness. 

“Did you shoot him," Bowen asked 
quietly, “before they netted him?" 

“What do you think?” The 
Mundo's voice didn't answer him but 
simply posed the question. Bowen sus- 
pected that the net had reached the turtle 
before Mundo had, but there was no way 
to prove it. Only Mundo and Ezekiel knew 
for sure. 

"I think this is a damn big turtle," 
Bowen said. 

It took them a while to get the hawksbill 
into the beat. Ezekiel and Henry raised 
their mast and set sail for the camp on 
Southwest Cay. Gabricl restepped their 
own mast to give them more room in the 
bottom of the boat; but even so, they had 
to remove the middle seat to fit the turtle 
in. Bowen straddled the shell. He subdued 
the two hind flippers and tied them with 
palm fronds. He was shivering uncon- 
sciously, a condition Gabriel called dog- 
leg. When Mundo joined them, the boat 
k low in the water. He took his seat in 
the stern and stared thoughtfully at the 
turtle, as if he were preparing to interro- 
gate it 

“Dis beast must weigh tree hundred 
pounds, Mundo,” Gabriel proclaimed. 

“Daht’s good luck." 

All at once, Bowen was tired and hun- 
gry and thirsty. The oatmeal can and the 


tone of 


water bottle were buried in the chaos of 
fish and rope; he had no energy to look for 
them. 

Gabriel unfurled the sail and changed 
places with Bowen on the turtle to work 
the sheet line. They began the long sail 
back. Because there were only a few inches 
of frecboard left to the boat, Mundo would 
not let Gabriel trim the sail too tightly. 
The boat plugged slowly through the head 
seas. When they were on a direct course, 
Gabriel put the sheet line between hi 
horny toes and stepped on it to keep it in 
place. He and Bowen scaled the fish and 
cleaned them, dropping the guts over- 
board into the water that was still clear 
but now colorless again, the blue gone out 
of it with the beginning of twilight 
“Come, shah 
ume. 


come,” Gabriel said each 
"Here's a nice piece ah food. I treat 
you good, you know." Mundo sang coun- 
ty-and-western songs, throwing all the 
melodrama he could into them. The air 
became steely and dense with haze. 

They entered the lagoon shortly after 
dark. For some time, they had watched a 
flickering bright light come from the camp; 
сусп from a mile out at sea, it cast а wob- 
bly, liquid thread of illumination that ran 
out from the cay to their boat. It was ob- 
vious now that someone had built a large 
bonfire on 
steered into the shallows and they 
pared to beach, a man 


the shore; and as Mundo 
pre- 
noved out of the 


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darkness into the firelight, the flames vris- 
ing above his head. To Bowen, the 
silhouette was grotesque, crippled—the 
shadow of a beggar. 

“Mundo,” Gabriel said, “Eze 
to make a cry, mahn. 

Mundo thieved the hawksbill from him, 
zzekiel shouted crazily. The other fisher- 
men gathered around him now. 

“Mundo teef de hawksbill.” 

“ууһа” hahppen, Mundo?" 

“Henry, come tell dem, mahn 

But Henry would not come out of the 
darkness and speak. As they dragged the 
boat ashore, the fishermen moved down 
next to the water to help them and to have 
a look at the big turtle. Among the crowd, 
talking all at once, the three of them were 
solemn and quick, anxious for an end to 
the work. Ezekiel pushed forward, keeping 
the boat between himself and Mundo. 

"Wha' hahppen, Mundo?” he 
witlessly. “Wha? hahppen, mahn? 
fuck me. 

Mundo would not acknowledge him but 
spoke instead to the other men assembled 
around the boat. He looked predatory in 
the changing light of the fire, dangerous. 

“I shoot de hawksbill,” Mundo said. 
“You sec it dere in my boat. De hell wit 
daht bitch Ezekiel.” He wouldn't say any- 
thing more. Together, he and Bowen lifted 
the two big turtles out of the boat and 
placed them gently in the sand. The old 
man yelled a lot, but Bowen could not 
understand what he was saying. Colbert, a 
fisherman from the same village as Ez 
icl, called out boldly from the group. 

"Gabriel, speak up, mahn." 

Gabriel talked softly, as though to coun 
terbalance Mundo's disdain for Ezekiel. 
Although he would not speculate on what 
had happened in the water, he explained 
how on their way out in the morning 
Mundo had revealed his dream and how 
ad flown into the boat. Im- 
ly, the excitement. returned. The 
dream and the bird inflated the drama and 
the importance of the dispute, and that 
pleased the onlookers. Someone called for 
Bowen to tell what he knew. Most of the 
men stopped arguing to hear him. Bowen 
was reluctant to speak, aware of his differ- 
ence and how it would distort what he said 
to them, how it would become a story that 
ended, “Ами! den de white mahn 

ke 

“Tt was like Gabriel said. Mundo told us 
he had a dream about fucking a man, He 
said this was a sign that meant he was to 
shoot a big male hawksbill. "There's the 
turtle г 

“5с ahn doan believe i 
dreams,” someone yelled at him. “Dreams 
s [ah peoples like we.” 

“Maybe so, but this one came true, 
didn't 12” Bowen said calmly 

Ezckiel shoved forward toward him. 
"No!" he shouted. “Dis dream a lic. Mun- 
do teef de hawksbill. Wha’ hahppen, 
Mundo?” 

“The dream is 


Twahnt 


aid 
You 


no lie," Bowen said, un- 


able to kecp the impatience from his voice. 
He hated the way the focus had been cn- 
tirely transferred to him. It seemed that 
everyone except Mundo was ready to 
grant him the full authority of his judg- 
ment because he was white and educated. 

"Yes," a voice agreed. “But you sce 
Mundo shoot de hawksbill before de net 
reach?” 


Gabriel spoke belore anyone else could. 
*Mahn, wha' de fuck it mahttah? De 
dream come tue. Dal 


dahı. Quit dis 
fi 


Bowen bent over into the boat to collect 
the spear guns, wary that Ezekiel would 
see only him, blame only him, and ifthere 
were uncertainty on his face he must hide 
it from them, because he knew now what 
he had to say. On the sail back, Mundo 
and the turtle wouldn't leave his mind. 
‘There was the dream, as undeniable as 
й was incomprehensible, a coincidence 
announcing itself, а magic somehow con- 
spired between man and beast. He could 
mot stop himself from accepting it and 
from believing that what Mundo had done 
had been done by right of the dream. As a 
biologist, he had been sincere: but what 
had drawn him to the sea in the first place 
was the feeling that it held mysteries that 
no man could measure. Now a series of 
events had taken place that he could never 
rationalize, never accurately explain. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw 
Mundo watching him. Bowen wished he 
could know what the black man was thi 
ing, but he had no intuition for what was 
at stake between them. His only impulse 
was to protect the knowledge of the dream. 

“Mundo shot the turtle. The net wasn’t 
there yet. It fell ri fier the shot.” 

“You see it, mahn?" 

“That’s how it happened.” 

“You sec it hahppen daht way?” 

m telling you what I know." 

Bowcn's proclamation put an end to it. 
Everyone agreed then that the hawksbill 
Mundo's. Ezekiel wouldn't be quiet, 
but he walked away from them anyway, 
sull shouting passionately, and others 
shouted back at him to shut up. The men 
nt back to their cooking fires to have 
their suppers. The three of them were 
alone again. As they finished unloading 
the boat, Mundo whispered to С: 
“Mistah Bone find a mahn to fuc 

“Oh, ho," said Gabriel, turning around 
to see if Bowen had heard. “Maybe next 
he get a sign, too. Mistah Bone—right?” 

No guilt burned into him, no sympathy 
for Ezekiel. 1 m was more impor- 
tant than wl 
Mundo had come to 
through the dream, 
changed, not by Bowen, not by Ezel 
net. It frightened him that something so 
intangible could become so absolute in his 
mind. Hc confronted Mundo. 

“Was I wrong?” 

You mus’ decide, mahn. But you doan 
hahs to lie fah me.” 

“I did it because of the drea 


at he had or had not seen. 
first, 


the turtle 


Mundo said, 
Maybe you 


“Maybe daht's so,” 
watching Bowen carefully 


find out someting, But lissen to me, Bone 
Dreams nevah is true. Dey lead you, 


mahn, ahnd de rest is up to you. 
ould have stayed out of it,” he said. 
Then he realized that for the first ume, 
Mundo had not called him “Mistah.” 

mahn, you was right, so vou mus’ 
fuck Ezekiel so. De hawksbill was mine no 
mahttah wha’ you say to dem. 1 hahd 
ahdvantage. 

“There was no lie, then.” 

“No, but you behavin’ like а blahck 
mahn, speculatin’, not like a sci-ahnce 
mahn.” 

"They picked up their gear and hauled it 
to camp. While Gabriel prepared to cook 
their supper, Bowen found his tape me 
ure, notebook and pencil and went with 
Mundo back to the boat. Together, they 
carried the turtles down the beach and set 
them under the narrow, thatched ramada 
built by the fishermen to shelter them from 
the sun. They placed the turtles among the 
others already there. Bowen tallicd the 
ones brought in by all the boats, measured 
the length and the width of their shells, 
counted the dorsal plates, recorded the sex 
and the species. As always, he checked for 
the ghost-white markings of a mulatto 
hawksbill. Mundo scratched his initials 
o the bellies of his turtles with a g 
knife. 

“Damn,” Bowen said, 
notes. “No mulatto.” 
hts only luck, mahn. Have faith.” 

The firelight rubbed weakly on the cara- 
paces and spun like small gold drops in the 
yes of the turtles. Their flippers stretched 
out front and back from beneath the rows 
of shells, the palm fronds pinning them 
together in a frozen clap, an endless prz 

“I goin’ bahck.” 

“Allright. ГЇЇ be there in a while. 

Bowen did not know why he wanted to 
stay with the turtles, but he lay down in 
the broken coral, too tired to help with 
supper. and listened to the sea creatures 
take their air, the gasping litany that com- 
mitted them to the surface and to men. He 
saw them in the sea again, male and 
female clasped together, hawksbill and 
green turtle, the plates of their shells flush. 


nished with his. 


They would join each other in that 
embrace and mate, di g in the shal- 
lows, pushing up together to breathe, the 


female encircled by the flippers of the male 
fora day and a night until the mythical pas 
de deux had ended and a new form had 
been conceived from different bloods 
‘Then they would unlock to spend a year 
alone in the sea. The images stopped there 
and he felt himself falling asleep. He did 
not want to sleep here in the ramada with 
the turtles, so he rose and walked back to 
camp, to the men and to his supper. The 
tide had changed, and he heard the diler- 
ence in the night. The sea pulled back off 
the reef, sucking the air down through cor- 
al bones, and then released it again and 


SHORT WAVE 


(continued from page 112) 
be found for much less than $1000. 
Few offer FM reception, but all have built- 
in product detectors for utili 
listening. With some exceptions, com- 
ions receivers are rarely sold by 
traditional electronics retailers. Stores spe- 
cializing in ham-radio gear are your best 
bets to get some hands-on shopping 
experience. 


aly heard of Kenwood, 
the audio manufacturer. The same parent 
company is active im general-coverage- 
receiver design, offering three models. Its 
newest, the R-2000, is a short-wave listen- 
ers dream and, at $600, а communica- 
tions-receiver bargain. Although loaded 
with push buttons and knobs, the R-2000 
is remarkably easy to use. Ten memories 
store both frequency and mode (AM, sin- 
gle side-band voice, Morse code). 

From Yaesu Electronics, a Japanese 
firm, comes a $550 receiv 
favorably with commercial professi 
equipment costing much more. The FRG- 
7700 picks up weak signals even at thc 
high end of the frequency spectrum, where 
many receiver specifications tend to fall 
off. The clock-timer can also be hooked up 
to а tape recorder for unattended record- 
ing of a favorite progr 

The newest recei from communica- 
tions-equipment maker ICOM is the 
IC-R70 ($750). It features adjacent- 
station-rejection circuits (called pass-band 
tuning and notch filtering). Fach is con- 
trolled independently on the front panel 
for superclear reception in crowded band 
segments. 

Once you get interested in short wave, 
you may want to have tuning capability i 
your car. MEJ Enterprises makes that an 
casy job with the ultracompact MEJ-308 
mobile converter ($100). The converter 
uses your existing car antenna (even the 
in-the-windshield kind) and car radi 
Then, at the press of a button, you can 
switch from the AM band to one of eight 
band-spread-tuning short-wave bands. 

Back home, for the Morse and the tcle- 
type listener, any of several Kantronics 
“readers” will convert the mysterious 
tones into plain English. The Mini-Reader 
(8270) is a self-contained, compact decod- 
at flashes the words across a scrolling 
nes Square style. The 
erminal ($300) does much the 
same thing but also lets you plug in a com- 
puter printer for a permanent print-out. 
And owners of Apple, Atari, TRS-80 Col- 
or, Texas Instruments 99, Commodore 
64 or VIC-20 computers can use their 
machines as decoders with the help of The 
Interface ($170, plus software). 

If vou long for distant lands but are too 
busy to get away from it all, short-wave 
listening is the next best thing to being 
there. Best of all, you won't have to pack a 
bag that gets misdirected to Timbuktu. 


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PLAYBOY 


1 
Sybi | (continued from page 133) 


“This was no friendly litile shoving match. Sybil’s 


used to getting her way.” 


close professional and personal rela- 
tionships. When it was clear that he had 
no intention of leaving, he found himself 
being pushed toward the door by Sybil, 
while her uninterested German shepherd 
and a very interested writer looked on. 

This was no friendly little shoving 
match. Sybil was angry—she’s used to 
getting her way—and the press agent/ 
boyfriend was slowly realizing that he was 
being dealt a triple whammy: He was get- 
ting dumped by his gorgeous girlfriend 
and risking his job, not to mention being 
kicked and scratched. A screaming match 
followed: He wanted to get his personal 
belongings from the upstairs bedroom and 
she wanted him out of the house im- 
mediately. Given the death grip they had 
on each other, neither wish was likely to 
be granted, and the fight moved to the 
front yard, giving the neighbors a loud and 
colorful free show. 

For them, it was welcome to the world of 
Sybil Danning, the actress known around 
Hollywood as the female Clint Eastwood, 
whose roles as a Valkyrie warrior in Battle 
Beyond the Stars and as an Amazonian 
princess in Hercules scem ironically close 


to her action-packed real life. 

“] just know you're going to start your 
story with that,” she laughs later, having 
successfully banished the boyfriend from 
her property and piled his belongings 
beside the pool. *Most interviews start 
with the writer’s saying, ‘Well, I went to 
Lucy’s house and she was lying on a pil 
low, stroking her cat and drinking a gin 
fizz.’ Or, I went to Mary's house and she 
was sitting by the pool in her shorts, fresh 
from a tennis match." But for this story: “I 
went to Sybil Danning’s house and there 
was a wrestling match going on.” 

In retrospect, the incident amuses her. 
“Those bones around my house aren't 
from my dog,” she winks, playing with the 
zipper on her black-leather jump suit 
“They're my ex-lovers’. 

“I promise you one thing," she says 
“That wasn't staged. I don't do that for 
visitors.” 

The fact that the fight wasn't staged 
made it all the more instructive, of course. 
Tt was a chance to watch Sybil in action. 

"Im a very independent woman,” she 
says, stating the obvious. “I always have 
been. My past two relationships began be- 


cause I wanted them to. I was the one who 
made the first move. I was the one who 
decided 1 wanted to go to bed with that 
person.” 

Such a forthright approach to courtship 
is sometimes misinterpreted. “Despite 
what a lot of people think, I’m not the kind 
of woman who likes one-night stands. It 
takes me a long time to decide that I want 
to be with someone intimately—I mean, 
go to bed with him. But once I've decided, 
I put myself totally into that person. My 
relationships have always been very in- 
tense and, obviously, they're with people 
who are just as intense. Unfortunatcly, 
there comes the point when the man feels 
he wants to move in and possess me, but I 
just can't feel owned or possessed. I know 
that’s a problem, but that’s the way I 
am and that’s why I've chosen not to get 
married.” 

She's been equally independent in her 
career, unabashedly using her consider- 
able sensuousness in a variety of films—25 
in all—to build a name for herself, first in 
the lucrative European markets and now, 
she hopes, in America. Not all of her roles 
have been as secluctresses—her personal 
movie favorite is Operation Thunderbolt, an 
Israeli docudrama ahout the raid on En- 
tebbe. She played a German terrorist and 
the film was nominated for an Oscar as 
best foreign film. Most of her characters, 
however, are like her Valkyrie warrior in 
Ваше Beyond the Stars, an uninhibited 
female swashbuckler whose motto is 


“Make love—then war" and who can do 
anything a man can do but looks a hell of a 
lot better doing it. Her warrior costume 
was so sexy that NBC had to turn some of 
her more reyealing scenes into tight close- 
ups of her face before running the film on 
television. 

Three of her latest films are equally rug- 
ged. In Chained Heat, she's an inmate at a 
women's prison, where she kicks, | 
scratches, punches and even shoves the 
warden (played by riavsow’s Miss Janu- 
ary 1960, Stella Stevens) into an indus- 
trial-strength washing machine. Seven 
Magnificent Gladiators, a second cousin to 
The Magnificent Seven, with Romans tak- 
ing the place of cowboys, has her boozing 
pillaging, slashing and killing right alo 
with the men, including Lou Ferrigno. 
The ex-Incredible Hulk is also her co-star 
in Hercules, which gives both of them a 
chance to show off their ample physiques 
In the movie, she and Ferrigno battle 
to the death. Behind the cameras, their 
relationship wasn’t much better. 

“Mr. Ferrigno just has a plain terrible 
Sybil tattled to a writer for 
Action Films magazine. “When he finally 
got two lead roles, it went to his head. 
Here he is Hercules—and he says that 
ever since he was a boy, his big dream was 
to do Hercules—and he says to himself 
that he’s more beautiful, he’s better, he’s 
bigger than he dreamed. When those 
things go to your head and you start step- 


ping on people around you, that’s the be- 
ginning of going down." 

Gomments such as those, plus some 
others she made about Ferrigno on a talk 
show, got her some bad reviews from her 
producer, Menahem Golan. “Menahem 
has said, Just try to say nice things.” 
What are those nice things? "He's bigger 
than Steve Reeves,” she offers. *He's at 
least as handsome.” And then she falls 
strangely silent. “1 want to make more 
films with Menahem,” she explains with a 
smile. 

Sybil doesn't make apologies for her 
candor, even if she's mended her out- 
spoken ways a bit, and she’s not bashful 
about the fact that most of her films have 
been low-budget exploitation flicks. Some 
people may think it's a shame to waste a 
great body and face on a drive-in movie 
screen, but Sybil isn't one of them. 

“If I decide to do a film, afterward I'm 
not going to say it was a sleazy picture,” 
she explains. **I I don't want to be associ- 
ated with it, I don’t do it. А lot of my pic- 
tures were exploitation, but I was aware of 
that before I did them. Гуе made a lot of 
bad films, but that puts you on the map 
and at least your name is known. I mean, 
you have to pay your bills, too.” 

Her next big project is exploitation de- 
luxe. Called Black Diamond, it can best be 
described as James Bond with breasts— 
with Sybil as the sexy secret agent w 
uses all her talents to get the bad guys. She 
and her partner, Mike Frankovich, Jr., 


have already released a Black Diamond 
comic book, and Sybil claims it was suc- 
cessful enough to spawn a sequel and start 
the duo looking in earnest for funding. If 
they can raise the money, Black Diamond 
will also give Sybil a chance to be a 
producer. 

“Tm not the type of actress who just 
reads her role,” she says. “I care about 
who wrote it, who's producing, who's dis- 
tributing, who's doing the music and how 
I can help with the publ I care from. 
the beginning to the end. I really want to 
package, produce and ster in my own 
films." 

Of course, Clint Eastwood, Sybil's role 
model, produces and directs his own films, 
and she hardly needs to be reminded that 
he got his start in spaghetti Westerns 
that weren't much better than the films 
she makes. The comparisons, according to 
Sybil, don’t stop there. 

“I think it would be challenging some- 
day to play a role like the one Meryl Streep 
played in Sophie's Choice, but I always find 
myself being up for and getting very strong 
roles. I don’t see them hiring me as the 
woman who suffers. I'm always the strong 
one,” she says. “Clint Eastwood has 
always been Clint Eastwood, because 
he plays himself. There is some kind of 
parallel between us. My life has been full 
of action and adventure, and I’m very in- 
dependent, I gucss people sce that in me.” 


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154 


TED TURNER (continued from page 68) 


“In prime time, there are no choices on the networks. 
Only stupidity, sex and violence.” 


deny the charges. Why not? 
PLAYBOY: Do charges like that need 
denying? And what did you mcan when 


you called CBS a cheap whorehouse? 
TURNER: I meant its sleazy programs, put- 

ing too much sensationalism in the news 
to win the ratings race. If you take a stop 
watch and time the negative stories in the 
evening newscasts, you will find that on 
the average night, about 70 to 80 percent 
Of itis volcanoes, people being flooded out 
of their homes, Marines shooting people in 
Lebanon, Congressional wrongdoing, law- 
suits, murders, hijacking, plane crashes 
and that sort of thing. Barry Goldwater 
timed it and he said he got 85 percent; I 
get about 70 percent. Irs like the front 
page of the newspaper. But unlike the 
newspaper that has second, third and 
fourth sections—the way we do on Cable 
News—that’s all there is to the evening 
news. There's no time for anything else 
And in prime time, there are no choices 
‘on the networks. Only stupidity, sex and 
violence. 

Television in this county has run 
amuck. It's one thing to have concentra- 
tion in the entertainment business, but 
news has got a special status, particularly 
unlike most 
countries in the world, television is not 
controlled by the Government. The Goy- 
ernment can at least ensure that the 
some responsibility, that television can't 
run amuck to the detriment of the society. 
And that’s what we have here. 

PLAYBOY: That sounds a bit like the edito- 
rial you taped personally last year for CNN 
denouncing the film Taxi Driver, That was 
in reaction to the verdict in the case of. 
John Hinckley, the young man who shot 
President Reagan. Are you suggesting leg- 
islation regulating the content of movies 
and the content of television programs? 
TURNER: I didn't say that. I didn’t say that. 
PLAYBOY: You said, “The people who pro- 
duced this movie should be just as much. 
on trial as John Hinckley himsel?” And 
you advised viewers to write to their Con- 
gressmen. 

TURNER: All that docs is put pressure on 
people. I don't think legislation should be 
necessary. E think self-regulation is the 
best kind of regulation. 
PLAYBOY: What about the 
place as a regulator? 
TURNER: I think that those who are produc- 
ing programs should exercise reasonable 
responsibility. 

PLAYBOY: I 
ibi 


free market 


t onc man's reasonable 


responsibility another man's censorship? 
TURNER: Taxi Driver went beyond the 
bounds of reasonable responsibility, in my 


opinion. And in the opi 


ion of the people 


who made it. Nobod 
PLAYBOY: In his CNN commentary the 
next day, your own chief correspondent, 
Daniel Schorr, agreed with you about vio- 
lence but disagreed about pressuring Co 
gress. He said your approach might violate 
freedom of the press as defined by the First 
Amendment, How did you feel about that? 
TURNER: I thought it was great. That just 
proves what a loose, terrific company we 
have when somebody can take issue with 
the boss on the air. I think it’s grea 
PLAYBOY: Your editorial was shown ten or 
П times. Schorr's rebuttal was taken off 
the air before it could run the customary 
second or third time for reasons that have 
been torily explained. Did 
you have something to do with that? 
TURNER: 1 didn’t know anything about it. I 
didn’t even know he had done it. I just felt 
the inclination to tape my opinion опе 
weekend in South Carolina. When I got 
back to Atlanta on Monday, Dan's had 
run and had been lified. The producer or 
whoever was running the station didn’t 
think it ought to run again, Somebody clse 
made that decision. We hav rly 2000 
employees now, and they are all running 
around doing their own thing. Hugh He! 
ner doesn't know what you're doing 
tonight, does he 
PLAYBOY: No, but the editors do. 

TURNER: Well, it’s Hefner's baby. Anyway, 
the whole thing at CNN is to allow people 
to take issue with one another. 

PLAYBOY: But you feel strongly about sex 
and violence on television, don’t you? 
TURNER: So does Dan Schorr But you 
don't have to agree with me about every- 
thing to work for me. 

PLAYBOY: What do you feel should finally 
be done about the things you don’t like in 
movies and on television? 

TURNER: Call attention to it and maybe it 
won't be donc again. I am unaware of any 
movie like Taxi Driver that's been filmed: 
ince I broadcast my editorial. 

PLAYBOY: So you think you've become a 
moral force for movies, too? And if calling 
attention to it doesn't work, do you believe 
a way should be found to make that hind of 
movie illegal? 

TURNER: Only as a last resort. 

PLAYBOY: Getting back to your comment 
about the networks’ running Charlie's 
Angels during prime time while you run 
the news: You seem to have a real dislike 
for that kind of show, don’t you? 

TURNER: Yeah. That and The Dukes of Haz- 
zard and Dallas. The networks arc poison- 
ing our nation with shows like that. Aud 
they arc poisoning the whole world against 
us. Those sleazy programs are distributed 
all over the world. The three networks are 


was proud of it, 


satis 


failures. We're approaching the 2st Cen- 
tury with the most powerful communica- 
ns force the world has ever seen. And 
it's being totally misused by three organ- 
izations that couldn't care less about what 
happens to the nation. It’s insane. 
PLAYBOY: What would you do about it? 
TURNER: Id like to get my hands on a net- 
work. I'd like to be the big guy fora while. 
PLAYBOY: And what would you do with 
it—fire the chairman and everybody in 
programing? 

TURNER: No. I wouldn't even have to run 
the place. Га run my division and some- 
one else could be in charge. But I would 
try to make the entertainment programing 
more uplifting. 

PLAYBOY: What docs that mean? 
TURNER: I'd try to slowly change the chai 
acters on those shows toward the kind of 
people that you'd like your children to 
grow up and be like. Listen, I know a 
station manager in Adanta who told mc 
privately that his own children were for- 
hidden to watch his station. And in my 
merger discussions with the networks, one 
of the top officials said to me, “Ted, you 
criticize us for being immoral people, but if 
vou knew us, you'd know that many of us 
are very moral in our private lives. We 
may have some programs on that aren't 
good, but we're very nice family people.” 
PLAYBOY: What was your reaction to that? 
TURNER: I said, “Well, you know, that won't 
wash as far as I'm concerned. That's е 
actly what the Gestapo and the people 
who ran the death camps said. When they 
went home after gassing people, they were 
very nice to their children and their dogs 
and their neighbors. But you're in a роз 
tion of responsibility. That doesn’t wash 
your hands.” 

The networks need a truly competitiv 
force that is being run by someone who 
cares more about the country than about 
the profits. I subscribe to the Rotary mot- 
to: “He profits most who serves the best.” 
PLAYBOY: How does that apply? 

TURNER: In my company, I’ve accepted 
short-term losses for long-term gains. The 
networks have been sacrificing long-term 
gains for short-term profits. If our country 
goes down the drain, the networks go with 
iL And if the network executives are 
blamed. they will be burned at the stake 
for being responsible. Like in the French 
Revolution 
PLAYBOY: That brings us again to the ques: 
tion of whether or not you practice wha 
you preach. Are you clai 


care about making money 
TURNER: I’m not 
money. 


PLAYBOY: In a speech at Georgetown Uni- 
versity last year, you said, "lt almost 
kes me ill that [some] people are m: 
ing $500,000 a year.” Aren't you making 
that much? 

TURNER: Y. ing that out of context! 1 
that money shouldn't be your primary 


re ta 


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Winning effort. 


Like a lot of резе you started by blasting the cover 
off a golf ball at a driving ranpe But you soon 
discovered that it was less a battle with the ball than 


with yourself. So now, when you manage an 
especially good round, you feel great. Because 
you've won in more ways than one. 


You're tasting success and it sure tastes good. 


PLAYBOY 


motivation in life. I'm 
materialism. 

PLAYBOY: But you're not exactly hurting, 
right? A plantation, two islands 
TURNER: I need to make the money so I can 
do the programing. It's a means to an end, 
not an end in itself. Every nickel I can get 
my hands on, every time we get reinforce- 
ments, they're being thrown right into the 
front line of the battle. All my property is 
being used for ecological purposes, too. 
PLAYBOY: But you're not giving your salary 
away, arc you? 

TURNER: | give away a tremendous 
amount. I contribute to a number of char- 
ies. I make tremendous amounts of polit- 
ical donations. I fly tourist on airplanes. I 
cut my own hair. I live without air con- 
ditioning in my homes. I drive a small 


talking about 


a minute. That's your old 
PR. You drive one of the biggest, most ex- 
pensive cars made in Japan. The company 
advertises on your network and it gave you 
the car- 
TURNER: That's right. But I used to drive a 
small one. They are a big advertiser, so 
they wanted to give me a bigger one. 
PLAYBOY: And you haven't flown tourist 
class since we've been with you 
TURNER: I pay coach. 

PLAYBOY: But somehow you're upgraded to. 
first class? 

TURNER: If you get something for nothing, 
it's pretty hard to turn it down. 


PLAYBOY: In that Georgetown speech, you 
mentioned that when vou appeared on the 
cover of Success magazine, you held it up 
heavenward and said, “Well, Dad- 
TURNER: “Is this enough?" What I was 
saying to those kids was that I now feel 
that I'm enough of a success that it no 
longer has to be the prime motivation 
in my life to prove myself to my father. 
PLAYBOY: Your father committed suicide 
when you were 24 years old. How did that 
influence the course of your life? 

TURNER: My father grew up in a different 
world—the depths of the Depression. He 
had watched his father go from being a 
farmer who owned his own land to losing it 
all and living the rest of his life as a share- 
cropper. So my father had a desperate, 
burning desire to be a success. In that 
time, America was more ofa rugged, indi- 
vidualistic country. And my father was 
primarily interested in himself and in how 
much money he was going to make. But in 
retrospect, [ think that was one of the 
things that led eventually to his commit- 
ting suicide. Because when he made the 
$1,000,000 that he said he was going to 
make, he told me that it was hollow. It did 
not give him the satisfaction that he had 
thought it would. And that’s true of any- 
body who makes making money his pri- 
mary objective in life. It should not be 
your main goal if you want to be happy 
iccessful. How can you be successful 
if you're not happy? 


“Better erase that C, Roger—a four-letter word for 
a female relative is A-U-N-T." 


PLAYBOY: You seem to be happiest when 
you're lighting battles. Do you glory in 
being the underdog? 
TURNER: I am the underdog, so I may as 
well enjoy it. 
PLAYBOY: Yet, instcad of enjoying it, you 
constantly complain about network dis- 
crimination against you 
TURNER: We are discriminated against! 
They beat on us all the time. The networks 
are a cartel. They collude. Unofficially. 
You know how? They just agree. Why 
doesn't ABC try to get the Super Bowl ev- 
ery year? Why are they content to let NBC 
get it one усаг and CBS the next and just 
move it around? The reason is that nobody 
wants to make the commitment to bid the 
price up enough to get the whole thing, be- 
cause they'd all rather share it and keep 
the three-way old-boy system working. 
"That's why they all started their morning 
news at seven o'clock until we forced them 
into the early-morning segment. They 
didn’t want to escalate the battle, because 
in the past, they had limited competition. 
There were these unspoken rules, which 
they all agreed to play by. And in the mar- 
ket, they all raise their rates the same 
amount every year. 
PLAYBOY: If they were colluding, wouldn't 
the Federal Communications Commission 
have something to say about that? They're 
the ones pushing deregulation. 
TURNER: Yeah, Mark Fowler, the FCC 
commissioner, wants to dereg me right out 
of business. He was a very strong attorney 
for the over-the-air broadcasters before he 
was hired by the FCC. He was in the pock- 
et of the broadcasters. 
PLAYBO' broadcasters, you mean the 
over-the-z dustry as opposed to the 
cable-television industry. Are the broad- 
casters your main adversaries? 
TURNER: Listen to this: The new president 
of the National Association of Broadcast- 
ers, Eddy Fritz, told my chief lobbyist in 
Washington, in so many words, “Гуе been 
instructed to oppose anything that will 
help you here in W: gton." And then 
he also said—this is one that he's going to 
deny, I'm sure—“If there is some way 
Turner could promise to stop criticizing 
the networks and the affiliated stations 
that are running network programing, we 
could drop our opposition to him in 
Washington on some other issues.” 
PLAYBOY: What did you o 
TURNER: “Hell, no!” 
You told him that? 
TURNER: No. I just didn’t send a signal 
back or ask for a meeting. I'd rather have 
my heart buried at Wounded Knee. 
PLAYBOY: As usual, you make it sound like 
war. 
TURNER: It is like fighting during wartime. 
There are people being killed all around 
you. Actually, Fritz is a super guy. In fact, 
Jack Valenti, the head of the Motion Pic- 
ture Association of America, which fought 
us on a number of things, is a super 
guy. But they're both just hired guns, 
highly paid lobbyists representing a vast, 


r 


multibillion-dollar industry. Valenti has a 
posh reception hall and a huge screening 
room where he's always taking Congress- 
men for cocktails and the latest movies. 
But me, I own most of my own company. 
I'm up there lobbying for survival, where- 
as they're lobbying for their salaries. 
PLAYBOY: There’s a lot of talk that you'd 
really like to be in the movie business and 
become another Darryl F. Zanuck. True? 
TURNER: I don't even know what a movie 
studio is supposed to be like. Ive never 
really gotten a tour of a studio. 

PLAYBOY: Then what were. you doing last 
fall walking around the MGM lot in Los 
Angeles? You were so upset when we 
alluded to that, you went off the record. 
TURNER: How did you know about that? 
PLAYBOY: Reporters have ears and tele- 
phones. It just hasn't been reported before 
TURNER: Well, [ have to admit, there was 
some whispering in the hallways. I heard 
the custodian who was sweeping the place 
whisper to the receptionist, “Turner’s out 
here to buy MGM.” 

PLAYBOY: Were you? 

TURNER: I wasn't there to buy MGM. I'm 
just a very colorful customer who buys a 
lot of product from the motion-picture 
industry. I had discussions with MGM 
about areas of mutual interest. 

PLAYBOY: All right, then, is your next 
dream to get into the movie business? 
TURNER: Ї just don't think the movie busi- 
ness and I should be fighting any longer. I 
think the major battles are over. I have 
criticized the studio executives for some 
horrible movies that they've made. And 
some of them have privately admitted that 
they're ashamed of movies like The War- 
riors, too. But I've also congratulated them 
for productions like The Winds of War, 
Gandhi and E.T. 

PLAYBOY: What about producing your own? 
TURNER: We're already producing a mys- 
tery film for our network. The working ti- 
tle is The Q Factor. But 1 would love to 
have been responsible for the movie Gan- 
dhi and the movie E.T. I thought Gandhi 
was terrific. I cried during that movie. It’s 
in the top ten movies of all time in my 
book. It's up there with Gone with the 
Wind. You know what is so great about 
Gandhi? It’s socially constructive. Gandhi 
shows that you can win through nonvio- 
lent operation. It shows you can accom- 
plish what you want if you’re patient and 
friendly with the people you beat when 
yov're through. And that’s cxactly what 
I'm trying to do with the networks. I'm 
trying to intimidate them and make them 
want to leave—like Gandhi made the Brit- 
ish want to leave India. But stay friends 
when it’s all over. 

PLAYBOY: Who's the Lord Mountbatten in 
this scenario? Someone like Paley? 
TURNER: Who's Mountbatten? I mean, 1 
know who he was, . 
PLAYBOY: We mean in the sense that, as 
viceroy of India, he was the one who final- 
ly saw the wisdom of Gandhi's ways. 
TURNER: He was in India at the time? 


PLAYBOY: Yes. It was he who negotiated 
the British withdrawal. Who would play 
that role in your television wars? 

TURNER: I seriously doubt that it would be 
Paley. It may not happen in his lifetime. 
But, you know, in the last merger negotia- 
tions, I didn't meet Paley. I'd like to. 
PLAYBOY: You mentioned The Winds of 
War. Would you like to have had that on 
your network? 

TURNER: Sure, but it cost $40,000,000, 
dummy. We cannot aford such high- 
budget things. That’s why I'm trying to 
get a network! 

PLAYBOY: Do you think the miniseries is the 
wave of the TV future in entertainment? 
TURNER: I think it's going to hasten the de- 
mise of the networks. "They're committing 
suicide in a way with programs such as 
The Winds of War. 

PLAYBOY: How? 

TURNER: By disrupting the viewing habits 
toward their staple, which is the weekly 
series, the continuing series, such as / Love 
Lucy or Dallas, that people watch every 
week religiously. Just like people watch 
soaps every day or used to watch Cronkite. 


Once they break the weekly-series habit, 
then they're free. And if the networks 
aren't running a Winds of War, it's over. If 
I have a baseball game on or a good older 
movie, the viewers come to me. 

PLAYBOY: That reminds us: You're in a 
unique position as an owner in both pro- 
fessional bascball and television. As the 
owner of the Atlanta Braves, you also own 
their broadcast rights, and you own the 
satellite network that distributes those 
games to people all over the country who 
live nowhere near Atlanta. For starters, 
how did you come up with the notion of 
calling the Braves America’s Team? 
TURNER: The name was being fed back to 
us from people who lived in places like 
Idaho and Alaska, who didn’t have home- 
town teams. But I never would have 
adopted it if the team hadn’t started doing 
well. It’s pretty hard to call an also-ran 
America’s Team. I wouldn’t want to drag 
America’s good name through the mud. 
PLAYBOY: What has been the secret of your 
team’s surprising success? 

TURNER: Good management. When I 
bought the Braves in 1976, they were one 


“A double mixed six to one and a registered letter 
from the Internal-You-Know-What.” 


158 


PLAYBOY 


160 


of the worst organizations in baseball, 
one of the lowest-budget operations. The 
people who owned it were nice guys, but 
none of them was dedicated to winning 
and they didn’t spend anything like what 
the competition did, starting right at the 
bottom, with scouting. That was the first 
thing the guys running the team told me 
when I took over. So we tripled the num- 
ber of scouts. Then they s; the next 
thing we needed was good instructors in 
the minor leagues, so we got them. Then 
they said we needed more budget to sign 
the top draft picks, so we did that. 
PLAYBOY: Did it work? 

Well, we finished in the cellar for 
xt four years, setting an all-time 
record for most consecutive last-place 
finishers in interdivisional play. Then we 
bounced up to fourth place and, last year, 
to first. Basically, we built a whole new 
ball club from our own organization. 
There are only three players on our roster 
today who were there seven years ago. 
PLAYBOY: Not bad for a guy who knew 
nothing about baseball. 

TURNER: I can do virtually anything that 
requires good management, intelligence, 
planning and hard work. I run the team 
the same way I ran my sailboat. If I had 
the time, I could definitely manage a base- 
ball team. 

PLAYBOY: That sounds like your onc-day 


foray into a uniform five years ago, which 
baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn quick- 
ly stopped. How can you say that a guy 
who had never played the game seriously 
could be an expert? 

TURNER: First of all, Гуе watched more 
than 1000 games. Гуе seen cur guys pitch 
dozens of times. And anybody who's a real 
fan of a particular team can tell when a 
pitcher has suddenly lost it. Every serious 
bascball fan is an armchair manager. 
PLAYBOY: Do you try to run the team as 
George Steinbrenner runs the Yankees, 
sending messages to your manager? 
TURNER: Never during the game. I will ask 
him afterward why he didn’t take someone 
out. We run the club by committee, and 
I'm the chairman. I’m the skipper. When 
we're making the final cuts of spring train- 
ing, we have all the coaches; the general 
manager, the director of scouting; the 
executive vice-president; Henry Aaron, 
who's minor-league director—maybe 25 
or 30 people. And we evaluate everybody 
on the roster, 

PLAYBOY: Is the role of a good owner to 
support his team with bucks? 

TURNER: You've got to do that. The owner 
signs the pay checks. 

PLAYBOY: You've established a pretty liber 
al checkbook. After your bad experience a 
few years ago with some costly free agents 
who did not work out, you told us you 


weren't going after any more hot players 
for “superbig loot.” Yet this year, your sal- 
ary structure topped $9,000,000, putting 
yours among the top half-dozen payrolls in 
professional baseball. 

TURNER: Yeah, well, I told my guys that if 
they played championship ball, Га pay 
them championship salaries. 

© you came in the attitude 
of spending to build a better team 

TURNER: You can't make chicken salad out. 
of chicken manure. But it's not just the 
bucks that make the difference. We created 
an exciting operation where guys want to 
sign with us. In most cases, our people 
make less than they could make some- 
where else. 

PLAYBOY: Could you ever pay for it all with 
just the gate? Could the Braves ever make 
a profit without their own TV outlet? 
TURNER: Absolutely not. We drew 
1,800,000 fans last year, and that was just 
enough to break even. With our increased 
payroll this year, we would need to draw 
2,800,000, and that we won't do. 
PLAYBOY: So you need to compete hard— 
and very loudly against the networks to 
televise professional sports. 

TURNER: I'm always talking about killing 
the opposition. But that's like Ali talking 
before a fight—a lot of it is designed to 
build up the gate. 

PLAYBOY: How do the readers of this inter- 
view avoid the suspicion that all your rhet- 
oric about the networks is just beating the 
drum for a competitive product? You're 
condemning them as evil, not simply as 
competitors. 

TURNER: That's right. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think it’s fair not only to 
claim you have a better product but, 
figuratively, to accuse the other salesmen 
of beating their s? Because that's what 
you often sound like when you get wound 
up about other people's morality. 

TURNER: Well, I truly believe it. You're 
asking the questions and I'm answering 
them. But don't ask me. Ask [fun- 
damentalist preacher] Jerry Falwell. Ask 
[conservative Senator] Jesse Helms. Ask 
General Westmoreland. 

PLAYBOY: What do Falwell and Helms 
have to do with it? 

TURNER: They think the networks are de- 
structive and detrimental to our society, 
100. Im not the only one, I've never meta 
college president who thought television 
was doing a good job for our nation. The 
trouble is that nobody dares blow the 
whistle on the networks because of their 
power. Somebody has to have the courage 
to stand up and say so. 

PLAYBOY: We don’t understand: You were 
studying your own ratings when we got on 
the plane. Don't you need ratings to sur- 
vive? 

TURNER: Yeah, but not the way the net- 
works do. I know a lot of things I could do 
to get my ratings up. 

PLAYBOY: For example? 


TURNER: CNN could go the National En- 
quirer route instead of the New York Times 
or the Washington Post route. We could 
sneak cameramen in to take nude pictures 
of movie stars taking nude sun baths, we 
could dig up more dirt and scandal; we 
could run movies the networks won't run, 
ones that are bloody and gory, such as 
Friday the 13th; wc could do programs 
with frontal nudity; we could do soap 
operas: 

PLAYBOY: You did launch a soap opera on 
your own network—The Сайт». Isn't that 
the same thing the networks do? Aren’t 
extramarital affairs and unwanted preg- 
nancies stock in trade of soap operas? 
TURNER: I have to make some commercial 


sacrifices to get where I'm going. Chris- 
topher Columbus, when he set out for 


America, wasn't sure he wouldn't fall off 


the edge of the earth, cither. Besides, Proc- 
ter and Gamble, who are putting up the 
money for it, assured me there would be 
nothing in there I would be ashamed of. 
PLAYBOY: You mentioned that you could 
run nudity—but wouldn't that cause the. 
loss of the subscribers who you fecl want 
uplifting programs? 

TURNER: We might lose some. But the way 
the networks have done it is to stay one 
step ahcad of the people with sleazy stuff. 
then the people catch up. They've been 
dragging the quality of the programing 
down a little bit each year by staying six 
months ahead of the public, getting 
sleazier and sleazier. Fred Silverman [the 
former president of NBC] was the master 
of it. He took us one step beyond where 
we'd been as far as dragging us down. 
PLAYBOY: In what kind of shows? 

TURNER: More tits and ass. A little more 
tits and ass than the other guys have had 
PLAYBOY: What about the advertising? 
Brooke Shields's Calvin Klein jeans ads 
created a furor. 

TURNER: The networks are increasingly 
touchy about that because of all the pres- 
sure that’s been brought to bear on them 
PLAYBOY: By Donald Wildmon? [Wildmon 
is the conservative minister who formed 


the hard-line Coalition for Better Televi- 
sion.] 
TURNER: By Donald Wildmon and Ted 


Turner. When I started criticizing the net- 
works publicly about four years ago, I 
gave them the strongest and most effective 
indictments that had ever been made. In 
the past, they had always been able to 
write off their critics. Almost no Senators 
or Congressmen or Presidents had ever 
criticized them really strongly. Nixon did 
ita little, because they tried to smear him 
People in Government are afraid, because 
they get re-ele 


еа 


based on the way 


they're covered in the media. The corpora- 
tions of America couldn’t criticize the net- 
works, because if they did, Sixty Minutes 


would come after them. I mean, journal- 
ism takes cheap shots at everyone. And 
also, the networks can raise their advertis- 
ing rates, because they charge one com- 
pany more than another. So nobody in 
business can criticize them. They've in- 
timidated any meaningful critics. In most 
cases, the newspapers own the television 
sion writer 


stations. So any young tele 
who criticizes the networks too much, par- 
ticularly about First Amendment consid- 
erations, is putting his own future in 
jeopardy. 

There's generally a tendency in the 
media not to criticize one another. It's 
kind of an unspoken law, because no- 


body's got lily-white skirts. You don't 
blow the whistle on me, I won't blow it on 
you. Besides, there interlocking 
directorates among all those big com- 
panies. So the only criticism came from a 
few ministers and a few educators. And the 
networks were always able to dismiss them 
by saying they were a bunch of liberal 
kooks. 

PLAYBOY: Or right-wing kooks. 

TURNER: Depending on which group it was 
Ralph Nader criticized them as much as 
anyone else. But because I was in the tele- 
vision business and was criticizing from 
the inside, they couldn't very well call me 
an idealistic kook. I could use specific 


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PLAYBOY 


162 


examples that I had learned inside the 
business, quoting them off the record. No- 
body at the networks would have a con- 
versation with Wildmon. They'd give him 
the widest berth possible, because he'd get 
information from them, No television per- 
son ever met with Wildmon the way they 
have with me and told him off the record 
that they were ashamed of the programing 
that they were putting on. But they told 
me. So when I blew the whistle on them, it 
was so effective that, as I told you, the 
president of the National Association of 
Broadcasters has offered to drop their 
‘opposition to us in Washington 
put us out of business le 
for my promise to qui 
watchdog. 

[During a brief break in the interview, 
Turner was engaged by an Atlanta passenger 
in a chat about the Braves’ prospects for 
1983. At that point, Liz Wickersham, Tur- 
ner’s companion, leaned over to our inter- 
viewer and only half-johingly suggested that 
it would be fitting if she posed for the cover of 
the issue in which Turners interview 
appeared. Wickersham was PLAYBOY'S cover 
model for the April 1981 issue. 

PLAYBOY: We were talking about Wildmon 


being a media 


and his attempt to impose his moral stand- 
ards on TV. With network advertisers, his 
tactic is to threaten a boycott 

TURNER: They've tried everything else. 
PLAYBOY: Then let's talk about how con- 
sistent your standards are. Last Christmas, 
we watched WTBS and CNN a lot in 
Atlanta and saw what we considered quite 
provocative ads—for panty hose and lin- 
gerie—on your channels. The J. C. Pen- 
ney lingerie ad was a kind of striptease, an 
absolute burlesque. 

TURNER: І don’t agree with you. Гуе never 
objected to the commercials, except maybe 
commercials for R-rated movies. I don't 
think there's anything wrong with a little 
bit of sex appeal. 

PLAYBOY: Then what do you mcan when 
you attack sex on television? 

TURNER: I’m talking about gratuitous sex 
and homosexuality and philandering 
around. As long as it’s your wife or your 
girlfriend, I don't think there is anything 
wrong with that. 

PLAYBOY: But you have specifically at- 
tacked the networks, saying they don’t 
have enough programs that show healthy 
family situations. The women are always 


“OK, now—this time for real!” 


out having affairs, you claim. What about 
The Callin? The heart of soap opera is in- 
fidelity, isn't it? 

TURNER: I don't know. That's what people 
tell me. 

PLAYBOY: Well, why are you showing it, 
then? Because it pays a good dollar? 
TURNER: Because I really need the money. 
You're just coming back and trying to get 
an answer from me. I said that I do some 
things. I never said I was perfect. 1 
don't just have my own personal standards 
that run my network, There are a number 
of things we are d I don't feel like 
I'm really compromising my principles. 
PLAYBOY: But you said you're doing the 
soap opera for the money. 

TURNER: That is a consideration. That is a 
consideration. 

PLAYBOY: We raise the issue only because 
you are so vociferous in your criticism of 
others who do the same thing. 

TURNER: That's right. 

PLAYBOY: The networks answer that they 
have the soaps because there are 
45,000,000 women who want to watch 
them in the afternoon 

TURNER: That’s true- 

PLAYBOY: Well, 25,000,000 people may 
want to watch something as spicy at night. 
TURNER: But there's something else. 1 have 
to make morc sacrifices than the nctworks 
do. If I were rich enough, we'd be even 
cleaner than we are today. But I’ve got to 
get where Im going in order to do that. 
I'm not proud of everything we're doing 
from a commercial standpoint. But our 
standards are a hell of a lot higher than 
theirs are! 

PLAYBOY: But can you raise your standards 
higher than what people want? 

TURNER: Oh, absolutely. you can. And if 
you do, you go out of business. 

t that what you're trying to 
do? Trying to force people to come up to 
your standards? 

TURNER: I'm not trying to force them! 
PLAYBOY: Then you're going to raise stand- 
ards and hope that audiences follow? 
TURNER: [Pauses] You are about to lose the 
rest of your interview! 


PLAYBOY: I’m sorry if you fe 

TURNER: I am one second away from never 
asking [sic] you another question! I'm sick 
as hell of you! 


PLAYBOY: Now, Ted —— 

[A suddenly violent Turner snatched 
the tape recorder out of Range’s hand and 
smashed it to the cabin floor. “I heard a 
thump and thought, Oh, my God, what's 
happened now?" remembered Eastern 
Airlines’ senior flight attendant Chris 
Mink later. In a belligerent rage, Turner 
then threw Range's camera bag full of 
tapes into the aisle. He kicked it full force 
against the cockpit door, slightly bruising 
Mink as it hit her thigh. 

[We heard a bang against the door and 
didn't know what was going on,” said 


ward. 
[Swearing and shouting, Turner begar 
to stomp on the bag. Tiny fragments of the 
plastic tape boxes were scattered about the 
cabin carpeting, like pieces of a shattered 


window. He then threw the bag at Range's t th 
ОСТА] Tf you wanta smoother 

of the smashed tape recorder. Another 

flight attendant began picking up broken ask for i it in English. 


cassettes and tape boxes 

[The passengers in the first-class cabin 
were stunned. The crew, equally shocked, 
attempted to soothe Turner. Flight attend- 
ant Mink later said she thought she saw 
Turner pick up something from the debris 
knocked out of Range's tape bag and stuff 

into his pocket. "Turner then sat down 
next to Liz Wickersham. Some minutes 
later, he went past the forward galley into 
the lavatory 

[During Turner's brief absence 
Wickersham confided to Range, 
under a lot of pressure. He did the 
thing to me once, getting on a boat in 

He got mad and kicked me in the 


[Turner returned from the lavatory and 
said to no one in particular, “It’s the same 
thing I did on the Tom Cottle Show.” (Dur- 
ing a taping of an interview show, Turner. 
displeased by host Cottle's questioning, 
abruptly walked off the set. As he did 
so, he ripped up the release form he had 
signed, effectively preventing Cottle from 
airing the interview that had been com 
pleted up to that point.) Turner then 
turned to Range and said, “I'll replace 
your tape recorder.” Range declined 
Turner's offer. 

[The flight reached Las Vegas an hour 
later. After the plane emptied, Range be- 
an a search for two missing tapes. Stew- 
ardess Mink then mentioned what she had 
seen Turner stuff into his pocket and also 
recalled seeing him put something into the 
galley trash bins 

[Range began a systematic search 
through the muck of the galley garbage 
Several broken cassette boxes surfaced but 
no tapes. Finally, he turned to the first- 
class lavatory and searched in vain 
through the trash. During a final sweep of 
the galley garbage, his fingers closed 
around a tape box with its cassette still in- 
side. The box was undamaged—but it had 
been under water for more than an hour. 

[On the return flight to Washington, 
Range dried the tape inch by inch. The fol- 
loving day, with the help of a stereo e: 
pert, he was able to unjam the cassette and 
play it successfully. The tape contained Sv heen 


half of the three-hour airborne interview N RAND CORPORATION NY. NY 
SER 9 low the English 


The other missing tape, containing an 


opening conversation at the Atlanta a have done for vodka what «e 


port, was never found. Turner denied tak- they've always done for gin. = E E 


ing any of the tapes from the airplane. The 
preceding interview was transcribed from 


MM Burroughs: The English word for vodka. 
EJ 


PLAYBOY 


164 


BEER CHIC cic: on revi 


suddenly have a lot of company. Heineken, 
the original import, paved the way for its 
Durch compatriot Grolsch. From France 
(albeit the German-speaking part), 
Kronenbourg and Fischer have made their 
entrance. Beck's and St. Pauli Girl, from 
the north of Germany, meet Dortmunder 
Kronen and D.A.B. from the west and 
Würzburger from the south. There are im- 
ports from more distant places, too, 
such as Kirin (Japan), Foster's (Aus- 
tralia) and Steinlager (New Zealand). Nor 
is all the action among the imports. There 
was a time when Miller High Life was 
thought by some to have too haughty an 
image. No longer. Now Budweiser’s smart 
sister, Michelob, Schlitzs Erlanger and 
Stroh's Signature make grander claims. 
Throughout the Western world, the beer 
phenomenon has taken unexpected forms: 
expensive imports being shipped as top-of- 
the-line beers by major domestic brewers; 
revivals of traditional products that had 
long been forgotten; the reawakening of 
sleepy, small-town breweries that are sud- 
denly marketing their products farther 
afield; and, perhaps most remarkable of 
all, the emergence of boutique breweries. 
Fear not: The machismo of the American 
brewing business is still powerful enough 
for the label boutique to be resisted. Yet 
what the boutique wineries of the West did 
for the grape, the new, tiny breweries are 
doing for the grain. Where in the United 
States are they found? There is a new 
boutique brewery in Albany, New York, 
once famous as America’s greatest ale- 
producing city. The first boutique in the 
United States was in Sonoma, California, 
in the heart of the wine-producin 
One of the most recent, producing 
ly admired beer, is in Yakima, Washing- 
nter of the American hop-growing 


The boutiques are a new generation of 
ma-and-pa breweries. Some are run by 
one man and a boy; others by one man and 
a girl; others by two or three men. There 
are seven or eight boutique breweries cur- 
rently operating in the United States and 
at least as many are planned. Each sells its 
beers in only one or two states, but that is 
how things were before Prohibition. 

Monty Python actor Terry Jones in- 
vested some of his profits from the TV 
series in a boutique brewery in England, 
onc of more than 100 that have sprung up 
there in less than ten years, There, the 
latest development is а return to the pub 
with its own back-yard brewery, the type 
of business commonly found before World 
War One. The first such pub brewery in 
North America was opened last year in 
British Columbia, and similar establish- 
ments are being planned in several cities in 
the United States where local laws will 
permit. 

Such fancies are no competition for Mil- 
waukce or St. Louis, but in 1982, there be- 


gan a remarkable collaboration between 
boutiques and mainstream breweri 
when a beer festival was held in Boulder, 
Colorado. The first Great American Beer 
Festival was unique in that it was the first 
time anyone can remember that rival 
American breweries—about 20 of them— 
had cooperated to offer their prod- 
ucts side by side. It was also unique in 
that it was not a corny Germanic steins- 
and-sausages gut buster but an opportun- 
ity for comparative tasting. Beers from 
Upstate New York, the Midwest and Cali- 
fornia, none of them generally available 
throughout the country, were sample 
an enthusiastic degustation by guests from 
cqually far afield 

"The Great American Beer Festival was 
inspired by similar events in Great Britain 
and Holland that have themselves been 
spawned only in recent years. They аге yet 
another manifestation of the new beer phe- 
nomenon. The American event now seems 
set to take place annually. 

Today, in restaurants, some imported 
beers go for six or seven dollars a bottle. 
Serving a beer that costs that much takes 
the kind of restaurant that presents 
selection on something akin to a wine list 
Such beer lists, documenting the place of 
origin of each brew and, if the diner is 
lucky, its characteristics, are increasingly 
to be seen. 

"There are, of course, classic beers that 
also happen to be household names, but 
the new beer chic does not restrict itself to 
them. There are great and original beers 
that are taken for granted in their own 
countries but are unrecognized elsewhere. 
There are once-famous names that, like 
fading celebrities, live in quiet obscurity, 
thought by even their admirers to be long 
dead. There are brews of some profundity 
that, especially if they are produced on a 
relatively local scale, suffer the fate of the 
prophet without honor in his own country. 

If those names are so noble, why aren't 
they, so to speak, on everyone's lips? The 
answer is simple. It has long been under- 
stood in the wine world that a best-selling 
label does not necessarily have the same 
ambitions as those enjoyed by one pro- 
duced in far smaller quantities and at 
greater expense. In the matter of beer, that 
awareness has taken an unconscionably 
long time to dawn. 

What most people (except the British 
and the Irish) mean by beer is just one 
style: a golden-colored, dryish, cooling 
brew. That style was first brewed in the 
town of Pilsen, in the state of Bohemia, 
which is now a part of Czechoslovakia’ 
The original, labeled Pilsner Urquell, is 
increasingly available as an import. So arc 
German counterparts with such names as 
Herforder, Kénigsbacher and Krom- 
bacher. European Pilsners are very hoppy; 
American ones are milder. You can, 
though, find a fair degree of dry, hoppy 


ESCORT WINS AGAIN! 
MAY 1983 CAR and DRIVER TEST 


“The Escort looks so comfortable, contented, and 
familiar at the top of the heap that it's hard to see 
that something new and special has been added. 
live with a new Escort for a while and you'll realize 
it has advanced new circuitry that should go down as 
a genuine breakthrough." 


ESCORT WINS 

NOV 1982 CAR and DRIVER TEST 

"The Escort, a perennial favorite of these black-box 
Comparisons, IS Still the best radar detector money 
can buy. The Escort is a quality piece of hardware." 


ESCORT WINS 

DEC 1981 BMWCCA ROUNDEL TEST 

The Escort is a highly sophisticated and sensitive 
detector that has been steadily improved aver the 
years...In terms of what all it does, nothing else 
comes close. 


ESCORT WINS 

SEPT 1980 CAR and DRIVER TEST 
"Ranked according to performance, the Escort is first 

choice... The Escort boasts the most careful and clever 

planning, the most pleasing packaging, and the most 

‘Solid construction of the tot.” 


ESCORT WINS 
MAY 1980 BMWCCA ROUNDEL TEST 
"This unit... consistantly outperformed the other prod: 
ucts and is the standard to which the others are com- 
pared, If you want the best, this is it There is nothing 
else like й.“ 

ae 
ESCORT WINS 
FEB 1979 CAR and DRIVER TEST 
“Only one model, the Escort, truly stood out from the 
rest...once you try the Escort, all the rest seem a 
bit primitive. In no test did any of the other detectors 
even come close." 


FOR ESCORT OWNERS ONLY: 

As cut ad above states, we've made another improvement, The 
new ST/O/P circuitry is a standard part of every ESCORT starting 
with serial number 400000. 

15 ST/O/P adaptable 10 your present ESCORT? Wel, yes and 
TO. At S.N. 200.000. there was an internal redesign ol ESCORT 


ESCORT: 


"A GENUINE BREAKTHROUGH" 


k you keep up with magazine tests, you know that 
ESCORT does more than just outperform other radar 
detectors. In its most recent evaluation, Car and Driver 
concluded: “The Escort radar detector is Clearly the 
leader in the field in value, customer service, and 
performance. .:* But performance, as measured by 
warning distance, is not the new breakthrough. After 
all, ESCORT has been beating all comers since its 
introduction in 197B. 


Now There's More To It 

While long detection range is obviously essential it 
Goes nothing to solve a problem that has cropped up in 
the last year. In fact, increasing range by itself just 
makes the problem worse. If you already have a good 
superheterodyre unit, you know what we mean. A new 
generation of imported detector transmits radar signals. 
and can set off your unit as far as a mile away. The 
longer the range of your unit, the farther away you find 
them. As Car and Oriver pointed out last November 
"Since there are far more detectors on the road than 
police radar units, interference... could become a 
genuine nuisance." 


Low Level Contamination 

At first it was just an irritation. At least ESCORT 
owners had a way of distinguishing the polluters from 
the real thing. Our unique audio warning differentiates 
between the two police radar bands: it "beeps" for X 
band and "braps" for K band, The polluters’ trashy 
signals triggered both warnings at once, and made a 
пем sound— different than the sounds for police radar. 
(The rest of the industry didn't even know there was 
a new problem. Their detectors were making the same 
Sounds as always, just more often) 


Radar Epidemic 
As more and more of the “polluting detectors" hit the 
Streets, the problem became more serious. If one of 
the “polluters” is approaching in an oncoming lane. 
the alarm from your detector is brief. But if it's traveling 
the Same direction as you, your alarm can go on for 
miles. And the offending detector doesn't have to be in 
the car right next to yours. It can be ahead or behind. 
and up to a mile away. A very serious problem indeed 


incorporating custom integrated circuitry, a precision quartz timebase 
and a new integrated microwave mixer/antenna/Cunn oscillator 
The new ST/O/P technology bus on this by significantly expat 
the digital logic ard adding memory. AS a result, older units ( 
numbers less than 200,000) cannot be modified 10 incor 
ST/O/P technology 


Pollution Clean-Up 
The problem required an entirely new approach. Examining 
the interference from these imports, our engineers dis- 
covered a subtle difference between their signals and 
those of police radar, even though they were on the 
‘Same frequency. The solution, then, was to design new 
Circuitry that would reject the pollution while— and this 
was the hard part— maintaining ESCORT's industry- 
leading response to pulsed and instant-on radar. We 
named it ST/O/P™ (STatistical Operations Processor), 
and it consists of a CMOS digital processor with built- 
in memory ST/0/P is not simple, and it's not cheap. 
Butit is. in cur opinion, the most important breakthrough 
in radar detection since superheterodyne. Car and Oriver 
would seem to agree: "Now, all the world’s Radio 
Shack Саар Сап hum night by your саг in full 
microwave broadcast mode 
and your Escort will sit on 
your dash as politely and 
silently as a canary-fed cat." 


[эе zag 

THE RADAR 
DEFENSE 

KIT 


Peace of Mind 

With ST/0/P, we've put the complications necessary 
to cope with today’s radar problems inside —where they 
work automatically. Just install ESCORT, plug it into 
your cigar lighter, and turn it on. ESCORT does the 
rest. If you encounter a signal from a “polluting detector.” 
ESCORT keeps quiet while maintaining its lookout for 
police radar. If the signal is the real thing. ESCORT 
immediately alerts you both audibly and visually. And, 
unlike other detectors that keep you guessing about 
the radar s location. ESCORT s signal-strength meter 
moves upscale as you approach and its variable-rate. 
beeper/brapper pulses faster. You get the full story. 


Fer those of you with ESCORTS from S.N, 200 000 to 399.999 we 
are presently developing procedures and facilities to make adding 
the ST/O/P circuitry to your unit possible. The cost will be $75, 
and details and special shipping instructions will be in out adver- 
tisenent in he September B3 issue of this magazine. Sorry, but we 
wont be able 10 coment your unit unti that announcement. 


—CAR and DRIVER 


It's Simple 

If you want the best, there's no reason to look anywhere 
else. But don't take our word for it. Try ESCORT at no 
risk. Open the box, install ESCORT on your dash ог 
visor, and take 30 days to test it. If you're not absolutely 
satisfied, we'll refund your purchase and pay for the 
postage costs to return it. You can't lose. ESCORT is 
5010 factory direct, so knowledgeable support and pro- 
fessional service are only a phone call or parcel 
delivery away. And we back ESCORT with a full one 
year limited warranty. Order today and let ESCORT. 
change radar for you forever. 


Do It Today 
T's easy to order an ESCORT. by mail or by phone. 


By Phone: Call us toll free. A member of our 
sales staff will be glad to answer any ques- 
tions and take your order, (Please have your 
Visa or MasterCard at hand when you call) 

CALL TOLL FREE. . . . B00-543-1608 
IN OHIO CALL... . . .. 800-582-2696 


By Mail: We'll need to know your name and 
street address, daytime phone number, and 
Tow many ESCORTS you want. Please enclose 
a check, money order, or the card number and 
expiration date from your Visa or MasterCard. 


Cs BS 


ESCORT (Includes Everything)... $245.00 

Ohio residents add $13.48 sales tax. 
Speedy Delivery 

If you order with а bank check. money order, 

credit card, or wire transfer, your order is pro- 

cessed for shipment immediately. Personal or 

company checks require an additional 18 days. 


CO M 
CUI 1 1 
Uy WARNING RECEIVER 


Cincinnati Microwave 
Department 807 

One Microwave Plaza 
Cincinnati. Ohio 45242 


PLAYBOY 


166 


bitterness in a Midwestern Pilsner (from 
Monroe, Wisconsin) under the Augsburg- 
er label. If you prefer to snort the hop, 
you can enjoy the bouquet of Henry 
Weinhard’s Private Reserve (from Port- 
land, Oregon). Serve these beers at 45 to 
48 degrees Fahrenheit to taste them at 
their best. 

In winter or spring, try the sweeter, full- 
er-bodied, more sustaining beers from 
Munich, home of the original Lowenbrau. 
Munich-style, or Miinchner, beers come in 
a variety of types and strengths. Such 
Munich breweries as Augustiner, Hof- 
bráuhaus (HB), Paulaner and Spaten pro- 
duce a wide range of beers and export a 
good many of them. They may be golden- 
colored (announcing themselves, in that 
case, with the expletive-sounding German 
adjective hell) or dark (dunkel) and may 
contain about three and one half to four 
percent alcohol. Or they may be of an am- 
ber hue for Oktoberfest, perhaps at four 
and one half percent alcohol. Then, 
whether golden-colored or tawny, there 
are the billy-goat beers announced as bock 
and doppelbock, at five and six percent 
alcohol, respectively. Inspired by Paula- 
iginal, called Salvator, the others 
have such names as Maximator and 
Celebrator. An unusually strong example 
is the aptly named Kulminator 28, with an. 
alcohol content of nearly 11 percent. In 
Germany, double bocks are served in Feb- 
ruary and March and single ones 
in May. Devotees of the rich Bavarian 
beers may also enjoy such Champagne- 
bottled French specialties as St. Léonard 
and Biére de Paris—or Dos Equis amber 
from Mexico or San Miguel Dark from the 


Zago def 


Philippines. The nearest American 
equivalent is the Bavarian Dark from the 
tiny Geyer brewery (in Frankenmuth, 
Michigan). Again, serve these beers at 45 
to 48 degrees Fahrenheit. The gentler the 
chilling, the fuller the flavor. 

Before a meal, sharpen the palate with 
just one glass of an acidic Trappist- 
monastery beer from Belgium. These are 
claret-colored, almost murky, and should 
bc decanted carefully into the glass so that 
the yeasty sediment is left behind, Until 
recently, they were hard to find outside 
Belgium, but they are increasingly work- 
ing their way into export markets. Start 
with Orval and graduate to vintage-dated 
Chimay Blue and potent St. Sixtus (almost 
eight percent alcohol). These beers are 
normally served quite warm, at about 66 
degrees Fahrenheit, but the secular Duvel 
(a corruption of the Flemish word for dev- 
il), also from Belgium, should be well 
chilled. 

With shellfish, there is an impenctrablc 
magic to the tangy accompaniment of 
roasty, black porters and stouts. Guinness, 
from Ireland, is the most bitter; Mack- 
eson, from England, is markedly sweeter. 
Between the two are such resurgent Amer- 
ican favorites as the celebrated Pottsville 
Porter, from the Deer Hunter country of 
Pennsylvania. Most of the new boutique 
breweries produce excellent sedimented 
dry porters and fuller-bodied stouts. 

With meat, go for the reddish, British- 
style ales. Their fruitiness and their full 
flavor are the ideal accompaniment to 
grills and roasts. Serve them, like red 
wines, at а natural-cellar temperature— 
ideally, 56 degrees Fahrenheit. From Eng- 
land, Bass is the classic, but London Pride 


“And I say real men don't even know what quiche is!” 


and Samuel Smith's seem to travel better. 
The provocatively named Stingo, a special- 
ty of the house of Watney, is a stronger 
English ale of the type known as barley 
wine. From Scotland, there are Belhaven 
and Lorimer’s. From Adelaide, Australia, 
Cooper's is a wonderful sedimented ale. 
Most of the new boutique breweries pro- 
duce excellent sedimented ales, and the 
hybrid Anchor Steam Beer, from San 
Francisco, is gaining a cult following. The 
characteristic fruitiness—but with a light- 
er body and a paler color—is found in 
such Canadian ales as Molson, Labatt’s, 
O'Keefe's and Moosehead. (These four 
companies, of course, also make lager 
beer.) 

As a summer refresher, the Germans 
favor wheat beers: a type of brew that’s 
sharp yet light in body and alcohol con- 
tent. These beers are increasingly being 
exported to the United States, where they 
were produced by many breweries before 
Prohibition. A dash of raspberry is added 
to the quenching, sedimented Berliner 
Weisse, from the Kindl and Schultheiss 
breweries, Napoleon's troops called it “the 
champagne of the North.” Pink cham- 
pagne, presumably. A slice of lemon 
soothes the more intense south German 
sister brew called Weizenbier, from such 
breweries as Tucher and the splendidly 
named Faust. (You also need lemon, not 
to mention salt, with the Mexican brand 
Tecate.) The wild-fermented Belgian type 
of wheat beer known as gueuze is matured 
in hogsheads and is exported to the U.S. 
by the Lindemans farmhouse brewery. In 
its winy character, it bears a passing 
resemblance to white vermouth, and 
exotic cousin kriek, containing bitter cher- 
ries, might intrigue a devotee of kir. 

The protagonist of beer chic pauses be- 
fore the first sip to catch the aroma. In 
most beers, it’s a light, uncloying, malty 
sweetness because it is dried by the bitter- 
ness of the hop, which has its own flowery, 
sometimes herbal scent. Then there is the 
fruitiness creatcd by the yeast, the life 
force that ferments the beer, creating also 
the sparkle and the head. A good beer has 
what brewers call a rocky head, and each 
sip leaves “Brussels lace" draped down 
the sides of the glass. Above all, it has its 
own balancing act, depending upon its 
style but also upon the ambition and the 
skill of the brewmaster. 

There are easy tastes and difficult ones. 
What comes casily can quickly begin to 
disappoint. Many of the best things in life 
are acquired tastes: oysters, steak tartare, 
marrons glacés. Like sex, good beer is a 
pleasure that can better be appreciated 
with experience, in which variety is both 
endless and mandatory. The pleasure lies, 
too, in gaining the experience: the encoun- 
ters with the unexpected, the possibility of 
triumph or disaster, the pursuit of the elu- 
sive, the constant lessons, the bittersweet 
memories that linger. Cheers! 


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How do you enjoy 
Sambuca Romana 

when you run out 
of coffee beans? 


Ric ДЕ White Cloud 
і, 1 ог. Sambuca Romana 
nan Club soda 
E = Pouroverice 
LESS intall glass. 


Con Mosca 

1 oz. Sambuca Romana 
3 roasted coffee beans 
Float coffee beans on top. 


< 


Caffe 
102. Sambuca Romana 
\ X cup hot coffee 
Top with sweetened 
whipped cream. 
Dust with grated 
nutmeg. 


Chocolate Chip 


\ Sambuca 
| fh oz Sambuca Romana 
X cup chocolate chip The traditional way 
ice cream todrink Sambuca is Con Mosca. 


But if you're out of coffee beans, 
try one of these other drinks. 
And then write for our original 

Reunion (for 2) Sambuca Romana recipe book. 
1 oz. Sambuca Romana Sambuca Romana 84 Pf. 
1 oz. vodka 
12 fresh strawberries 
tida 6 oz, orange juice 
^^ cup crushed ice 


Orange juice кесир 
Mix ingredients in blender 
Tour were п until almost smooth. Imported by Palmer & Lord, Ltd., 


8 ounce goblet. — à Syosett, N.Y. 11791. 
= ڈ‎ 


Blend and serve ог 
ъф freeze until serving. 
> 


Sunny Sam 


‘2 oz. Sambuca Romana 


WALK ON THE WILD SIDE 


(continued from page 90) 


"It is clear now that the half-life of a sex scene 
in New York is about a year.” 


I walk up the stairs, pay my six dollars 
and make my way into the theater. Two 
girls arc there, on а bed up on the stage, 
writhing in time to the music. It looks like 
an acrobics class or a Jane Fonda workout. 
After a few songs, they leave the stage. 
They are replaced by a girl who throws a 
fresh sheet onto the bed (how quaint that 
these people bring their own linens). The 
men in the audience change position, the 
better to scrutinize the action as the girl 
plays with a vibrator. Penetration seems to 
matter. A lean Spanish guy joins her on- 
stage. She takes his penis into her mouth, 
moving up and down the shaft with no 
particular zeal for an incredible length of 
time. The song changes. They switch pos 
tions. He enters her and strokes to the end 
of the song. The action does not build to a 
climax. Arousal and penetration are the 
main event. What 1 am seeing is not sex— 
it is merely endurance, the tilling of time. 
The music ends and the performers leave 
the stage. 

I walk around the emporium, enter a 
booth, deposit tokens and watch a shutter 
slide open. I lock through a Plexiglas 
panel at a naked woman, who looks back. 
There are no instructions posted, but if I 
don't feed tokens into the slot fast enough. 
the window descends. It is not unlike put- 
ting quarters into a Pac-Man machine 
This is the voyeurs video game. Men 
stand in the booths and masturbate. The 
women offer encouragement but no con- 
tact. I cannot figure out the attraction. It 
is a cheap thrill—but no bargain. 

I take a taxi from Show World to a block 
of warehouses on 34th Street in search of 
real sex. Plato's has moved downtown 
from the Upper West Side, and I wonder 
what's happened since last I was there. 1 
enter a white-brick building near the Port 
Authority terminal and pay $75, twice 
id five years ago. I do not, 
er, buy a Plato's Retreat Frisbee or a 
T-shirt, which are for sale at a booth in- 
side. In the men's room is a gallon jar with 
a pump like a catsup dispenser's, labeled 
MOUNTAINS OF MOUTHWASH. Т walk past a 
dance floor, a pool table, a buffet, a video 
Couples lie on pillows watching 
porn movies. Times have changed; the 
scene is dead. The crowd is mostly middle. 
aged, mostly naked. This is where you go if 
wondered what your par- 
ents looked like making love. People seem 
more interested in the buffet than in the 
bodies entwined in the mattress room. The 
old energy and the novelty are missing 

It is clear now that all the predictions I 
heard were correct, that the half-life of a 
Sex scene in New York is about a year and 


room. 


that Fd better hurry if I want to catch the 
established S/M spots before the action 
moves somewhere else. 

. 

Most of Manhattan’s S/M clubs аге lo- 

cated on 19th Street near Sixth Avenue. 
The first one I walk into is a carpeted 
room. I sit on a bench and wait for some- 
thing to happen. There are other men 
spaced at perfect intervals around the 
room, also waiting. A year ago, there were 
ies around the block. Now people are 
talking about the good old days: “You 
should have been here when the уота 
had her breasts nailed to the back wall," I 
hear someone say. 
"here is certainly no reason to be here 
anymore, so 1 walk down the street to 
another club that has taken over a once- 
notorious porno theater. An overweight 
woman in black takes my money, holding 
it under a light in the hall to count it, A 
young girl behind the bar sells me a glass 
of wine. There are three other men in the 
room. The mistress is running an encoun- 
ter group, an improv theater for sadom: 
ochists. A salesman from California 
recounts a story of his youth, how he di 
covered that spiked heels turn him on. A 
young black man is reluctant to air his fan- 
tasy. He claims that he is obsessed with 
sex, that he has done it with ani that 
he's finger-fucked his cat 

When it’s my turn to speak, the mistress 
asks about my fantasies. I tell her that I'm 
curious about the scene, but I haven't had 
time yet to fantasize. “You are obviously a 
submissive.” she says. "You wouldn't be 
here if you didn’t want to be dominated.” 


I panic. “I’m not a submissive. l'm a 
Pisces.” 
The mistress makes a general request to 


the audience for fantasies. The salesman 
rattles off four or five. ‘Two girls and the 
black guy take the stage to enact them. It 
is worse than summer stock in Des 
Moines. The black guy portrays a student 
who is sent to the corner and told 
masturbate. He is instructed not to come 
until the mistress gives permission, which 
she will signal by urinating on him. As I 
watch her guzzle wine, trying to fill an un- 
cooperative bladder, I decide that it isn't 
worth waiting to sce. I leave the mistress 
drinking wine, the salesman kneeling slav- 
ishly beside her, the black guy jerking off. 
For all I know, they are still at it. 
. 

The next day's paper says that Mistress 
Belle's show will start at nine rit, im- 
mediately after a tour of the dungeon. 
Running late, I ride a small elevator up to 
a loft where a very large person takes my 
money and directs me to the theate 


Maybe 30 people fill the bleacher seats 
They are well dressed, young, They are 
paying complete attention to the skit that 
is unfolding on the stage. It involves a fake 
rape, a gun, a role reversal. The male and 
female performers are attractive. I am sor- 
ry that I have missed most of the episode. 

When they leave the stage, I look 
around. There is a buffet that i ides a 
white-porcelain punch bowl in the shape 
of a circle of breasts. S/M people are 
definitely into breasts—large ones, mater- 
nal. Another act takes the stage. This one 
involves a priest and a young girl. The girl 
confesses to carnal thoughts. The priest 
asks her to demonstrate them, then 
punishes her, fondles her, forgives her. 
Nice work if you can get it. 

In the next act, a girl is lorced to per- 
form a pagan ritual, to hold a skull above 
her head. The pose reminds me ofa Conan 
the Barbarian comic-book cover. It does 
something for her breasts. A man who is 
swathed in a tattoo of indecipherable de- 
sign lights a candle and then, with a sweep 
of hi m, throws hot wax across her 
body. The act is exact, graceful, succinct. 
As the drops of wax meet her skin, she 
does not flinch. He takes the skull from her 
hands. binds her fect, then hoists her up- 
side down till she spins free of the floor. He 
works his way through a ring of candles, 
splashing her body with wax, then extin- 
guishes each one in turn. He removes a 
nife from his belt and slips it beneath her 
panties. Blood flows down her stomach in 
rivulets. He lowers her and they leave the 
stage. (Later, I hear him explain that the 
blood was calls blood from a butcher shop 
ixth Avenue.) 

А man comes out and sits on a chair. He 
places a board between thighs. Mis- 
tress Belle approaches. She swabs a nail in 
alcohol, then proceeds to drive it through 
his scrotum into the board. She follow: 
with a second nail. The man w 
mock horror, “Му cock! You've ruined ii 
It will never work again!” 

Belle answers, “That’s just а piece of 
flesh. You si The man 
stands up, holding the board, and walks off 
the stage. His genitals look like a tray of 
canapés. 

I have just seen a man have rails driven 
through his scrotum while he told jokes, 
and I am still waiting for my reaction. The 
act is not something that I have read about 
in The Joy of Sex. 1 turn to the couple next 
to me. The man says, "He really trusted 
her. Can you imagine what it would have 
felt like if the hammer had missed?” 

1 surmise that there are levels of pain 
and levels of horror. 1 cringed as the ham- 
mer descended. My ribs felt like collar 
stays. But Т did not run from the room, 
shouting, “Are you out of your mind?" 
he nail freak appears twice a week, 1 
am told. He is famous for his idiocy. 1 
try to figure out what motivates him. May- 
be he needs to prove that he is an 
ironman, that his genitals are invincible. 
Maybe he is just nuts. It is beyond me. It 


on 


167 


PLAYBOY 


168 


takes all kinds to fill the freeways, and in 
New York you can always find someone 
who shares your fantasy. 

"The cast returns to the stage. Belle asks 
if there are any members of the audience. 
who want to participate. À man goes 
down, drops his pants and allows a tall 
blonde to spank his bottom. He is un- 
ashamed of his erection. An overweight 
woman flings herself across the lap of the 
girl from the confessional skit. “It's one 
way to lose weight,” she says. The crowd 
shouts, “Whip like you live!” 

1 learn later that the cast consists of un- 
paid volunteers. It is amateur night at the 
dungeon. They are into the scene, and 
they want to show off the latest moves and 
embellishments to a jury of their peers. It 
is high-class, professional, soft-core 5/М, 
with one gut wrencher. Belle has a sense of 
the dramatic. This is vaudeville for the 
voyeur, burlesque for the bizarre. The girls 
are Belle’s slaves. In their workday, they 
are submissives, but they can portray the 
dominant role when their work demands 
it. They know both parts by heart—and 
buttocks. This Wednesday-night program 
is just a sampler. Ifyou have a fantasy that 
needs to escape, you can sign up for pri- 
vate sessions. The sessions are expen- 
sive—$150 an hour, or about what you'd 
pay a shrink to tell you to cope. 

T walk out of Belle's thinking about 
trust, the exchange of permissions, the 
knowledge of roles. Trust is an issue that 
has fallen into neglect. It seems to be ab- 
sent from a lot of conventional heterosex- 
ual relationships. Couples endure: They 
go through their entire lives without 
saying what is really on their minds 
Afraid to confess their fantasies, they 
watch the old passion wither away. 

And then there is the sex that takes 
place between strangers, based on blind 
luck or pretense. Do you trust a woman to 
usc birth control? Do you trust her not to 
have herpes? Do you trust her when she 
says that she doesn’t need to reach 


orgasm, that sex is emotionally satisfying? 
Do you trust her when she allows vou to 
have morning sex—when she acts as 
though she wants it before she's even 
awake? Do you trust her when she gives 
head enthusiastically? And if she finally 
goes along with something new and 
strange, do you trust her not to turn on 
you, not to bring it up in court? 

An evening at Belle's place has raised a 
lot of questions. I know now where ГЇ 
have to go to look for the answers. 

б 

The following day, I find myself back at 
the Hellfire Club. I stand at the bar, gawk- 
ing. I may as well be wearing a T-shirt 
that says, WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME 
WHAT'S GOING ox? For a few minutes, I play 
observer. I notice а 3"x 5" index card on 
the bulletin board: stave 
TO MOVE FURNITURE FOR WEL 
‘TRESS. 1 examine the souvenirs hanging 
over the bar—the pair of torn panties, the 
handcuffs, the collar, the frayed whip, the 
gag, the remnants of costumes. 

I could go on recording—inductive 
irony—but I force myself to talk, to ques- 
tion. I sit down with Frank, a leather- 
maker, a hippie craftsman who looks like 
he belongs in a Renaissance fair. He show 
me the gauntlet he is working on, explains 
how he chose each hide individually. The 
finished product will mold itself to the 
owner’s hand and to no other. I try it on 
and feel the power of costume. 

“Tve been into this scene for years,” 
nk says, “and you can't really explain 
it. People are always irying to come up 
with reasons. So-and-so does it to relieve 
the tensions of bei executive—th 
like that. But that’s bullshit. We do it be- 
cause it’s fascinating, because it requires 
our full attention. It is not casual sex. It is 
not the old in and out. Most people don’t 
think about sex; they just do it. We think 
about it, 

“S/M is morc involved than regular sex. 
You don't just put it in and thrust. You 


“Right now you're probably asking yourself, ‘What the 
hell is a flounder doing in my swimming pool?' " 


create a script, a fantasy. Then you act it 
out. It is more elaborate, more intense and 
more demanding. It is not something you 
can do with a stranger on a one-night 
stand. If you go home with some guy, you 
can really get hurt. This is not a scene for 
horny tourists. 

"In New York, at first, there are doers; 
then come the watchers, the people who 
just want to observe. When the tourists 
outnumber the regulars, nothing happens. 
We aren't going to do our scene for the un- 
initiated, the guys just looking for a fuck. 
Some nights, we don’t even get undressed. 
Other nights, there is something happen- 
ng every minute, scenes blending into one 
another. Somconc gets fist-fucked. Some- 
one gets whipped. Someone gets spanked. 
Гус had some incredible scenes here.” 

Frank introduces me to two of his ladies, 
Deborah and Sandy. For the next hour, I 
watch them try on pieces of leather: a wrist 
gauntlet for one; for the other, a bra with 
two rings through which she pushes her 
breasts until they look like water balloons. 
The rings focus attention, create a specific 
sensation. They prepare the breasts for 
what will follow, 

1 ask Deborah how she got started in 
this scene. She doesn't pause before she 
answers. “My parents never showed affec- 
tion, except when they gave me a beating," 
she says. “I knew they loved me when I 
did something wrong and they cared 
enough to punish me. It was the only ex- 
perience of love I had. I don't know any 
other way to feel emotion. I was married. I 
had two children. My husband fucked me 
while I was asleep. I never came. Then I 
started hanging out with Frank.” 

I ask her to explain the sensations she 
gets from various moves in the S/M reper- 
toire. “A spanking is warm, almost like a 
massage,” she says. “Nipple torture is a 
way of getting close to your guy. Hot wax 
is tricky—if the candle isn’t exactly right, 
you can get burned. each candle is differ- 
ent The perfumed kind are deadly. You 
have to test them." She demonstrates the 
movement. It is elaborate, slow motion. 
“You don't know what to expect, don't 
know when the next drop is going to hit. 
Whips are also special. Frank makes them. 
so they don't cut. It isn't pain but some- 
thing clse—a slap, a stinging sensation. 
Your skin turns red and becomes sensitive 
to touch, to a kiss. When you spank, you 
massage. When you whip, you kiss. 

"These people are students of their own 
sexual routines; they take them seriously. 
Even now, Deborah is concerned that 
her partner has slipped out to get high. 

"Drugs interfere with the pain," she 
says. “There is no direct connection. The 
person is somewhere else. What you are 
doing has no meaning. You can hurt some- 
one and he can't even feel it. We are pur- 
ists. The only things that count are the 
pain and the reaction to pain. Some people 
scream, which lessens thc pain—or in- 
creases the drama. I don't make a 
sound." 

I recall an essay by Ernest Becker called 


TN 
4 
aaa ^ 


"TUS „Аў 
m را‎ 
E ET 


PLAYBOY 


170 


"Every Man as Pervert.” A woman can 
fake orgasm, but she can't fake pain. 
Direct and uncomplicated. it guarantees 
the undivided attention of the victim. *By 
treating the flesh with violence and caus- 
ing it great pain, the sadist literally makes 
his partner a predominantly external organ 
Becker says. “The mind ‘comes out 
in the open’ in the screams and pleadings 
of the body. There is no longer anything 
private or aloof; The victim is reduced to 
the barest terms of the body; all indwelling 
values, all cultivated sensitivity . . . all that 
man earns and learns as a cultural animal 
are reduced whimperingly and totally to 
the terms of the tortured flesh.” 
Apparently, though, Deborah and 
Sandy do not agree completely about their 
respective roles in all of this: “Submissives 
have “The 


isn, 


it together,” Deborah says 
dominants are insecure.” 

“No, the dominants have it together,” 
Sandy says. “Тһе submissives arc looking 
for attention.” 

It is an interesting question: Who is the 
master and who is the slave? Most agree 
that the masochist sets the limits; he yields 
to the master but within clear bounds. 
Slave and master are equals. They know 
their parts. This is not a power play but 
a play 

Sandy allows herself to be tied to the 
Swedish chair 
her body 


Deborah drops wax onto 
Sandy flinches—sort of. She is 


not entirely there, and I suspect that she 
did slip into the alley to do some drugs 
After a while, they give up, but the image 
of a nude woman writhing lingers. It is 
powerful stuff. 

I ask the leathermaker what it all leads 
ts all in the anticipation,” he says. 
been thinking about this for two 
weeks. This was just foreplay. We will go 
home and fuck our brains out.” 

I wonder if anyone ever gets off in the 
club, if anyone ever comes. I watch a 
woman climb into the saddle, her legs 


spread, her arms pulled tight to the chains. 
She is surrounded by intent 
men. Two of them play with her breasts 
Another inserts a fist. A fourth takes pos- 
session of her mouth. She is a sine wave of 
shrieking, the scream rising and falling in 
regular rhythm. when I look at her 
hands, they are delicate, the fingers rub- 
bing against one another as if cxamining a 
piece of fine fabric. She is detached, lux- 
uriating in the drama. She relishes the 
attention. Later, she explains that she 
dominates her attendants. She is powerful, 
she gives permission. They try to please 
б 

L leave the Hellfire Club, still wondering 
about the question of dominance but trou 
bled, too, by my 
Га seen. There were postures that had 
caught my eye, that had a certain appeal. I 
could vaguely envision myself in the vicin- 


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ity of such behavior, could almost imagine 
taking a date to such a place to compare 
notes on our reactions, to see whether or 
pts rang a bell. After all, 
everyone had a role. It was not threaten- 
ing. Watchers were welcome. But the 
women's movement has made it impossi- 


not any of the sc 


ble to explore dominant/submissive f 


= 
sies blithely. You can go out with someone 
for months without discovering that she 
really wants to be spanked, that she wants 
to play rough, And when you run into a 
woman who likes to be taken, you confront 
a compelling part of yourself—the animal, 
the athlete. 

‘The psychoanalyst Robert Stoller says 
that we all keep secrets from ourselves, 
that it takes years to get people to admit 
their deepest fantasies, the images that 
cluster around orgasm. I was pretty cer- 
tain that nothing I saw at the Hellfire 
Club—or any of the other S/M spots— 
came close to mine. But I still had to con- 
sider the that those people 
actually reach true ecstasy because they 
know exactly what it is that they want. 
Normal heterosexuals may be blundering, 
ambiguous, noncommunicative by 
parison. Without a doubt, the people Га 
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script—a script that for most of us will al- 
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PLAYBOY 


172 


Joyce! Get the damn phone! Please? 


H UTTO N (continued from page 109) 


“Tim is accustomed to being thought of as a cross 
between Holden Caulfield and James Dean.” 


good-looking kid—except that he isn’t, 
and even the way he holds his body tells 
you that he isn’t. She is dressed all in black 
leather; a patterned bandanna is wrapped 
around one black boot. She might be just 
any other groupie, except that right now 
(for who knows how long?) she is Tim’s 
girl. Sh a small, slim, fashionably tan- 
gle-haired brunette with a pretty, pouty 
face; her dark-brown eyes regard Tim with 
a kind of tense voracity. She is 32. She is 
also, according to a source who is prote: 
tive of Tim and whose business it is to wor- 
ry about him, “a tough New York cookic.” 
A tough New York cookie who lived with 
Bruce Springsteen and who is—between 
his phone calls from his agent, Sue Men- 
gers, and from his friends, of whom he 
appears to have hundreds—conducting 
whispered conversations with Tim about 
whether or not to accept a role that re- 
quires her to be nude. (“No!™ says Tim, 
not in a whisper. Then, gently, “Please 
don't do it for my sake. Such a nice girl,” 
he say "ve known her for years. . 
) 

"Timothy Hutton is not made of soft 
fiber—if he were, he could hardly have 
survived thc death of his actor father, 
Hutton, and his own amazing success and 


subsequent loss of anonymity, the tickles 
and the tortures of celebrity. But he's not 
what you'd call a tough cookie. He's what 
you'd call adorable; thousands do. His 
mother, Maryline, with whom he lived. 
from the time he was two to the time he 
was 16, calls him fearless. 

Intrepid, earnest, clownish, intense, 
alternately puppylike in his affections 
and severe in his judgments, opinionated, 
searching, sarcastic, tender, sometimes 
boorish, morc often kind, funny, solemn, 
self-effacing, swaggering, self-absorbed, 
curious, analytic, spontancous; add rich 
and famous and throw in Academy 
Award-winning (at the age of 20) for his 
stunning performance as the vulnerable 
and despairing Conrad Jarrett in Ordinary 
People, and it’s easy to see why girls and 
women—maternal and predatory, inno- 
cent and sophisticated—cling to his com- 
pany and why thousands more would like 
to. A person still in the process of creating 
himself (Jeez! he says. "Are you going 
to print all the stuff Ї say? I never even 
knew I had these opinions before I said 
them. Pm thinking out loud—isn’t it 
great?”), he has so many warring charac- 
teristics, and so many shifting moods, that 
he amounts to a blank slate. The harder he 


“Hey, how come you put a picture of Tom Selleck 
on the ceiling?” 


tries to define himself (what 22-year-old 
can define himself; and why, after all, 
should he be obliged to?), the more elusive 
he becomes. A lot of women like blank 
slates: They can read whatever they like 
into Timothy Hutton's behavior; it's easy 
to fall love with a creature of your own 
imagining. 


e. 

Like most moviegoers. I tend, without 
thinking, to associate actors with the role 
or the roles for which they are best known; 
so I am not quite prepared for the sonic 
boom of Tim’s “Hi!” when I first meet 
him at New York’s Parker Meridien Hotel. 
I suppose, unconsciously, I am expecting 
the quivering sensibilities of Conrad Jar- 
rett. Tim (he doesn't like to be called 
Timothy) is accustomed to being thought 
of asa cross between Holden Caulfield and 
James Dean, a rebel even the rebelled 
Against can love, so occasionally, to 
flummox fans and intervicwers and, no 
doubt, to amuse himself, he trots out a 
bel hard-boiled-kid per- 
sona—an_I-dare-you-to-categorize-or-to- 
like-me persona—which makes his PR 
woman nervous. She never knows which 
Timothy Hutton will show up. 

The night I am to meet him, she is 
awfully nervous on his behalf—she has 
told me that when he’s working, he often 
goes brittle, cold, introverted. But Tim’s 
not nervous at all. He is affable, warm, 
pleasant, forthcoming. Restless, perhaps: 
He prowls, he paces; then he sits so still 
and quiet, with such a steady and fixed re- 
gard, that you're sure he thinks you're the 
most important person in the world—or 
that he is. (“Living in the moment” is what 
he calls it, or—well, he does come from 
California—'*communicating.") Prov 
or communicating, he is a pretty sight— 
a graceful young animal. He has been 
filming Daniel, from E. L. Doctorow's 
novel The Book of Daniel, based loosely on 
the lives of Julius and Ethel Rosenberg, 
who were convicted of giving atomic se- 
crets to the Soviets and were electrocuted. 
The movie, in which Tim plays Daniel, the 
orphaned son of the spies, is going well. 

di is, in fact, all he wants to talk about. 
$ ng down Tab, chain-smoking Carl- 
tons and Barclays and Marlboro Lights 
and Silk Cuts, he dispenses with formali- 
ties and preliminaries. This is a meeting 
called to break the ice, but Tim’s on fire 
is role as a man in scarch of his 
mate past, and there is no ice to 
break. He talks and talks and talks about 
Daniel. 

He has never taken an acting lesson. He 
In't finish high school, either, though his 
father insisted on his getting a high school 
equivalency degree. An instinctive actor, 
he is academically undereducated; but the 
way he prepares for a role ensures that he 
will always have a wide assortment of facts 
and sometimes tentative, though firmly 
declared, opinions: When he made Ordi- 
nary People, he spent time in a mental 


hospital in order to understand his char- 
acter's depression, When he made Taps (a 
self-indulgent, incoherent movie that was 
a box-office success in spite of rotten re- 
views—largely because of Tim's portrayal 
of a rebellious military cadet with a mis- 
placed sense of honor), he lived and re- 
hearsed for four weeks at the Valley Forge 
Military Academy and Junior College; he 
also read Melville's Billy Budd, as well as 
jographies of Generals MacArthur and 
Patton. Some actors say they act in order 
to understand themselves. Tim learns 
about slices of the world when he learns 
roles—a new slice for every part 

For Daniel, he went to “еу 
in Brooklyn” (he liked davenii 
to him as news that women sit apart from 
men in Orthodox shuls); he read Victor 
Navasky’s book about black-listing in Hol- 
lywood, Naming Names (he speaks with in 
timate loathing of Roy Cohn); he learned 
all there is to learn about Paul Robeson 
and listened to tapes of his singing all 
through the shooting of Daniel; he hung 
out at the Garden Cafeteria, Lower East 
Side home away from home for many 


bourgeois living-room Communists during 
the Thirtie ad, he says, all of Mars. 
“Hey!” ‚ “I found this sentence 


in Marx—I wrote it down. [t says every- 
thing: ‘From each according to his abili- 
ties, to each according to his needs.’ Isn't 
that great?” (One doesn’t like to disturb 
his enthusiasm by telling him that that is 
the one sentence of Marx that everybody 
knows; reading all of Marx in order to get | NUN. 98 

it is like reading all of The Oxford English | "you'd ike to iow more about our water, ust wie. 


inim tne ete o | A SLIGHT DISTURBANCE of che earth 
be killed two times? The first jolt of elec 


tity didn’t hill ber. Shit Some gay «i | Created che Jack Daniel's cave spring some 
а camera strapped to his leg—you weren't | 400. million years ago 


supposed to take pictures of an clectrocu- 
tion—peed in his pants, man, when he 
saw that. Ruined his film. . 

“All those guys, those Communists, 


The disturbance, so say geologists, caused a 
they weren't violent; they just wanted the | Crack in the surface of the earth and allowed a 
world to be good. I can dig that. I was only Р ; 
14 when T went to Berkeley, but I remem- | stream of iron-free water to spring up from 


ber all the protests, the sleeping bags, the 8 ы 2 
candles—man, it was great! ... You know | underground. Luckily, Jack Daniel discovered 
what Abbie Hoffman told me the other 


night? He sid, ‘Too bad the poisoned | Che stream іп 1866 and we've 


‘Tylenol capsules weren't suppositories, be- 


cause then half the assholes тш the vorid | DEEN using it со make our 
could have been killed.’ . whiskey ever since. Today, a 


“Your daughter's in Nicaragua, huh? 
What does she think of the revolution? Is | second movement of earth 


she being careful? You sure? Let's call her. 


My sister, Heidi, is in Briston—that’s the | could seal off our water 


working-class part of London, where the н A 
riots were—and, man, is she revolutionary. | entirely. Which, to a Jack 
Likes the I.R.A, I was at a bar with e p H 
Richard Harris and he had a fight with a Daniel's drinker, would 
y in a suit about the LRA. I can dig В - 
cts v ess citra ctn Le А be no slight disturbance. 
Arab dude with all those funny men in 
suis. . .. Did you know Truman Capote Tennessee Whiskey « 90 Proof Distilled and Bottled by Jack Daniel Distillery 
called me one of the worst-dressed men in Lem Motlow, Prop., Inc., Route 1, Lynchburg (Pop. 361), Tennessee 37352 
the world? Because I was at a party with | Placed in the National Register of Historic Places by the United States Government. 


CHARCOAL 
MELLOWED 


PLAYBOY 


174 


ke I was on my way to prison. 
Whaddaya think of that? I went to sce my 
grandma in Connecticut the other day and 
she yelled at me for wearing jeans with a 
hole in them. I told her I didn't expect to 
sec all of her friends when I came to see 
her—she had people driving up in ca 
man, like I was the Washington Monu- 
ment. What a world! Friend of mine had a 
kid the other day. Man, that's some heavy 
shit. What a world to bring a kid up in 
What a world! I'm registered for the draft, 
but I wouldn't fight. Here, look. . . .” 

He shows me pictures he's drawn, pen, 
pencil, charcoal, Winsor & Newton water 
colors his mother sent him: studied self- 
portraits, a quick, glib, competent sketch 
of a man he saw on a plane—and pencil 
drawings of a woman be 
woman hanged, a woman drawn and 
quartered, a woman strangled, a woman 
an electric chair. Ethel Rosenberg. 

“What a world!” he says; and when he 
reaches for my hands in farewell, his own 
are cold and sweat 

“You didn’t ask me the three dumb 
questions,” he says. “Why are you an 
actor? —shit! —and ‘What are you going 
to be doing five years from now?" Man, five 
years is a long time. And “Who is Timothy 
Hutton” That's the worst. I like you.” he 
says. “I really like you. Let's go for a walk 


ng executed, а 


in the park tomorrow. Let's go to Sotheby's. 
nt to bid on a couple of 
Picasso drawings. [ have litho- 
graphs. . . . We talked about some real 
stuff, didn't we? Don't you think we 
What a world!” 


two 


б 

One might expect the world to look 
pretty rosy for Tim Hutton. He has made 
$1,000,000 per picture (hence the Picassos, 
also the Warhol, also the Calder and the 
Stella, a Dali, a Magritte, a James Wyeth); 
he is very much in demand, with three 
more pictures already lined up. It's tempt- 
ing to scc him as Truman Capote saw the 


young Brando: sitting on a pile of candy. 
But he doesn’t owe all of his intensity to 
happiness. 
He was two years old when his father 
and his mother divorced. Maryline told 
the Santa Monica Superior Court that her 


husband didn't want to be ma 
more because his wife and family were 
standing in the way of his career. fim was 
required to pay $150 a month for alimony 
and child support, even in 1963 not a 
King’s ransom. Maryline, a woman of 
strong purpose and a multitude of accom- 
plishments, took her kids and moved— 
first to Cambridge and then to her home 
town, Harwinton, Connecticut. Tim saw 
his father infrequently. When he was 14 
and Heidi was 15, the family moved to 
Berkeley. Tim entered Los Angeles’ Fair- 


ed any- 


h School and moved into hi 
L.A, home when he was 16, with 
his mothers blessing. Less than three 
years later, Jim, to whom Tim bears a 
startling resemblance, died of live 
He was 45. He had prepared his son for his 
death, if there can be said to be any such 
thing as being prepared for the death of a 
parent in the prime of his life; He had told 
Tim, alter his disease was diagnosed, that 
he had six months to a year to live. Tim 
never had a chance to get used to the idea 
Jim died less than two months after the 
last tennis workout he had with his s 
when he felt something "burst" in hi 
body; four weeks and one day after the di- 
agnosis, lour months before the filming of 
Ordinary Peopli 

Irs impossible not to ask Tim whether 
or not, for the role of Conrad Jarrett, he 
drew upon the pain he felt when his father 
died. (You'll remember that Conrad's old- 


cancer. 


er brother, Buck, died ina sailing accident 
tonrad survived—and that Conrad 


that 
felt the rage and the guilt of the survivor.) 
He answers obliquely and with a quaver- 
ing voice. A film of tears covers his eyes. 
“People ask me if Tm Conrad. I tell 
them we look alike. I really liked Conrad. I 
thought he was a great guy. [ lived in isola- 
tion when I was playing him because he 
lived in isolation. At the end of the day, Га 
go back to the hotel room, put on music 
and just walk around and think about the 
ay and about the next day and the day 
after that. I was Conrad for the three 
months. I mean, it didn't get so crazy that 
when my mom called, Га say, "Who are 
you? You're not my mother. But when she 
called. she'd be talking to this very sensi- 
tive, very wounded boy, a lonely, needy, 
troverted person. But a guy with a sen: 
of humor, too. That was the beautiful 
thing about Conrad. He could say, ‘Boy, 
do І sound like a jerk! God! Гуе never told 
this to anybody before, but there were 
times when I would call my mother and 
say, ‘I’m gonna go down to the lobby right 
now and I'm gonna go to O'Hare Airport 
and I’m gonna go somewhere; I can't take 
this. I can't take t I wanted to escape 
it, I really did, because it was such a dev- 


astating experience getting in touch with 
Conrad and playing that out every day. If 
you'd met me during Ordinary People, 1 
wouldn't be saying a lot. I'd be very quiet. 
I wouldn't trust you at ай His eyes nar- 
row, become wary and opaque. He holds 
his body with the utmost reserve, daring 
me to intrude upon his psyche. “I 
wouldn't be smoking with you. If I did 
talk, I wouldn't look at you.” He starts to 
stutter. “1 wouldn't let you look at me 
looking out the window. Right now, I can 
feel your eyes on me; I wouldn't have let 
ve that then. Га be saying, ‘Wow! 
dow in peace?" 


you ha 
Тап^ I just look out the wi 


“OK. There are parallels. My father 
had died. Yeah. We had a shared sense of 
loss, Conrad and I, that’s true. But if I— 
Conrad—started to think about the death 
of Buck, I wouldn't start thinking of my 
father in order to have the same emotions 
Conrad had toward his brother. I never— 
I'm trying to be honest—1 never brought 
my specific feelings about what had 
happened to me into Conrad. No way. 
ve to believe 
t experienced that loss, 
I could have done that role. 1 think so. 
Yeah. I just told myself. "OK, while Tm 
playing this role, Tm gonna feel every 
tung—I'm gonna feel everything. Um gon- 
na be like an open wound and just soak 
everything in’ And I did. Sometimes, Га 
sit ina chair in front ofa wall, just staring 
into blankness, Like this. , . .” 

I remember Jim Hutton for his en- 
dearingly dopey TV portrayal of Ellery 
Queen—a sleuth who got his man by 
charming inadvertence. The elder Hut- 
ton’s career never took on the luster his 
already acq ss the 
names of the movies in which he acted: 
The Horizontal Lieutenant, Where the Boys 
Are, The Honeymoon Machine. Tim, who 
toured with his father in Harvey onc sum- 
mer, has acted in creaky vehicles, too— 
notably, a TV movie called Zuma Beach, 
with Suzanne Somers. But ever since he 
performed in Friendly Fire, with Carol 
Burnett, he’s been a force to contend with. 
Lask the inevitable—and, perhaps, unfor- 
givable—question: How does it feel to 
have outstripped your father? It's as if a 
shutter has been drawn across Tim’s face. 

“I never thought about it in those term 
1 really never, ever -. . ever. . . . I couldn't 
begin to comment on that, because I just 
don't feel di ny reality" His 
voice drops to a whisper. "When I think of 
ny father, I don't think of actor." Т 
think of this wonderful man who made me 
laugh, who introduced me to so many 
things about life. Boy, did he live! Did he 
know how to live! Гус never thought to 
myself, He was an actor, and Гус done this 
and he did that. Never. He was an amaz- 
ing guy, he rcally was, and if I could have 
half the intelligence and humor and life he 
had, ГЇЇ be all right... . TI be all right.” 

. 


at. It’s not 


‘This is the day we were supposed to 
have walked in the park, the day 1 was 
supposed to have introduced Tim to 
Navasky, whose book he very much 
admires. Its 1:30 and Tim has j 
ordered breakfast: “Didn't get to bed till 
four a.m. My sister's having marital prob- 
lems—she called from London. 

He ordered two cight-ounce glasses of 
orange juice, two pots of coffee, cantz 
loupe, grapefruit, grapes, orange slices. He 
calls his mother to chat. She calls him back. 
He calls her again in Berkeley. His mother, 
who, among her other accomplishments, 


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PLAYBOY 


prints miniature books, has made minia- 
ture copies of the script of Daniel, bound in 
leather with marbled end papers, hand- 
glued and hand-sewn, for presentation to 
Tim’s colleagues. With enormous pride, he 
shows me the colophon page: THIS BOOK 15 
ONE OF 15 PRESENTED TO TIMOTHY HUTTON AND 
COMRADES, NOVEMBER 1982. “Do you think Ed 
Doctorow will like it?” With equal pride, 
he shows me an autographed copy of Doc- 
torow's book—“Fi ition; he gave it to 
me. Look at the inscription.” 

Tim plays a cassette of a Paul Robeson 
spiritual used in Daniel: "God's perfect 
plan I cannot see,/But someday ГЇЇ 
understand, / Someday He'll make it plain 
to me. . . ./ Someday from tears I shall be 
free.” 

He sings along: “ ‘Someday from tears I 
shall be free? ” 

He's been thinking about what he said 
last night—about his being Conrad when 
he played him. He is evolving a theory of 
acting: 

“Tye been thinking about how you 
separate yourself from a role. Now, with 
Daniel, Y fecl it’s important not to stay with 
the character. I stayed with Conrad for 
three months, four months. In work, un- 
like real life, you're asked to explore all the 
levels of a life—to understand what every 
shading means, every confrontation. If you 
did that in real life, you'd be taking things 
too seriously; you'd always be misreading 
things and people. With Daniel, it seems to 
me, the most effective way to go about the 
role is to keep a distance—nol to be too 
familiar with him. Daniel always feels like 
moving on, going on to the next person, 
finding answers there. I’m hangin’ loose, 
like he did. It’s a tricky existence, because 
when this movie is over, I'm gonna go 
skiing with all my friends and I won't be 
thinking about Daniel anymore. Then I'll 
have to start thinking about him again 
when it comes out. - 

“Туе got a tough scene to do next week. 
I won't look at the script, I won't think 
about it—Fll just show up—and the 
reason for that is we've worked long and 
hard enough that 1 know the rhythm and 
the progression of it. It's gonna fall into. 
place and just be there, and PIL be more 
surprised by it than if I do study. You want 
to come fresh toit. ... 

“I just realized in the bathroom—I'm 
speaking out loud, it's a wonderful feeling; 
I'm asking myself questions, none of this 
stuff about acting is thought out; it's in- 
teresting, it’s fun, it’s unusual for me—I 
was just thinking about Daniel, why 1 
haven't lived the character, why it's not 
with me the way Conrad was all the time. 
It has to do with the two people. Conrad, 
he never had any hope, he was always 
thinking, thinking about the situation, 
he'd just"—he slips into the role as if it’s a 
costume he's accustomed to wearing, and 
again I'm with Conrad for a few mo- 
ments—“ ‘God, I don't want to see my 
shrink tomorrow; if I could just be in this 
room for two weeks with no sounds. I 


don’t want my father to call me Connie. . . 
please ... my mother. . . .' Гуе had that. 
Now, with Daniel, he goes into each situa- 
tion with so much hope and he’s searching 
and he's the initiator, he's the one going 
out, finding answers—and so, because of 
that, it’s almost like I know that Daniel is 
going out and doing the work for me. 

“With Ordinary People, I didn’t get to 
know Mary [Tyler Moore, who played his 
mother] or Don [Donald Sutherland, who 
played his father] till filming was over— 
because Conrad didn’t know Mary and 
Don. Now we're friends. I got to know Liz 
McGovern, who played my girl, yeah. And 
Judd Hirsch, who played my doctor, I got 
to know him. We hung out and played 
ping-pong and tennis, yeah. What Im 
saying is, actors do start relating to other 
people the way their characters would— 
consciously or not. And it serves the film. 
The isolation I felt during the first couple 
of weeks of Ordinary People, being all 
alone— that was perfect. 

“I got no feedback from Redford when 
he was directing me—none. Finally, 1 had 
to say to him, ‘Well, how do you feel? 1 
mean, how do you feel? I didn't want to 
come out and say, like a kid, “Am I OK? I 
wanted to find out if he was happy with 
what I was doing. It was killing me, you 
know? I needed to know. I remember 
going into his office at the end of the 
day, and I'd say, ‘So how you doing?” Неа 
say, ‘Fine, fine, how are you?” I'd say, 
"Great, great, great; you feel good? ” 

With subtle changes of voice and body 
language, Tim is now playing himself and 
Redford: 


REDFORD: You feel good? 

HUTTON: Yeah, great, great. 

REDFORD: Good day, today, huh? 

HUTTON: Yeah. Good day for you? 

REDFORD: Yeah. 

HUTTON: Just OK? 

REDFORD: No, no. Great. It was all 
right. 

Burros: But, I mean, is it what you 
wanted? 

REDFORD: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 


“Finally, I said, ‘I just want to do well 
in this role and I hope that I ат. Am I” 
Redford took a long beat. Sighed: “Yeah, 
you are. But sometimes it’s not good for 
you to know that. 

“That day, I realized that the wonderful 
thing about working in films is that all this 
happens for a reason. The best possible 
working experience is when people are 
dealing with one another the way they're 
supposed to, the way their characters 
would be dealing with one another. I'm 
not saying that Redford did it consciously. 

“Its funny who gets close, who doesn’t. 
You goout to dinner with some people, not 
with others—and not because you don't 
like them. In Daniel, I didn’t get to know 
the pcople who are playing my foster par- 
ents. I'd always fecl preoccupied around 
them; I couldn’t focus in. Like at lunch or 


something, we'd all be sitting around talk- 
ing, and I always felt I shouldn’t be sitting 
around, I should be doing something 
else—maybe studying the script or think- 
ing about something else. Then I realized 
that Daniel never really felt comfortable 
with those people—he always felt he 
should be somewhere else, because those 
weren't his parents and that wasn't his 
home. 

“With Amanda Plummer, who plays my 
sister in Daniel, I feel so close, so comfort- 
able. We talk for hours about everything. 

“And to see Sidney Lumet [director of 
Daniel] orchestrate all the stuff Pm talking 
about, all the subconscious games and 
attitudes that are thrown out, is wonder- 
ful. Some people he greets with ‘Good 
morning,’ some with a kiss, some with a 
hug—and it's all based on whom they're. 
playing. The danger is that you'll think ev- 
crybody is being mind fucked, but it's not 
that at all. Fm not saying that if at the end 
of the movie my character kills you, rn. 
gonna try to attempt murder—not that at 
all. It's just that you've got to trust what's 
happening. And then you're home free. 
Like, when I'm playing a scene with 
Amanda, lll look at her in a different way 
than I look at John Rubinstein, wbo's 
playing my foster father, and my body lan- 
guage will be different—even when the 
scene’s over. I'm very physical with her. I 
hold my eyes different; everything’s differ- 
ent, down to . . . well. Sce, it’s not like the 
night before a scene ГЇЇ say, ‘OK, I'll hold 
my right eye at three quarters and my left 
eye at half-mast’; it happens naturally. 
And it keeps happening. In real life, the 
same thing happens—after all, we're 
trying to make real life on film, tying to 
create as much real life as we possibly can. 
"Thats what separates something good 
from something that’s less than good. It's 
the difference between some formula pop 
group that plays hits and always ends up 
thesame way, the way they did on the rec- 
ord—the difference between that and 
going to a jazz club and seeing those good 
guys playing the same song for maybe two 
hours. I’m talking about going to hear 
Dave Brubeck doing Take Five: One night, 
maybe he'll do it for five minutes; the next 
night, maybe for two hours with Gerry 
Mulligan. I'm talking about getting into 
that inner groove. It may be acting, but 
there’s something real there.” 

The phone rings and it is Plummer. 
Tim’s voice caresses: “We were just talk- 
ing about you. No. About us profession- 
ally. . . .” But, of course, life and art 
overlap so much in Tim's case—if they 
didn't, he wouldn't need to talk so stren- 
uously about the separation between 
himself and his characters—that it's hard 
to know, one would be hard put to say, 
whether his remarks about Amanda were 
of a professional or a personal nature. 


Perhaps he doesn’t know. “I thought 


maybe we'd see Taxi Driver on television 
tonight, Manda. .. .” 

Tim's name has been linked to hers 
romantically. It’s been linked to those of 
Liz McGovern and Patti Davis, too, and to 
Kristy McNichol's. (“I'd like to know who 
planted that item about me and Kristy 
McNichol going to Hawaii together 
Nothing happened, man. Nothing could 
happen with Kristy.” Informed conjecture 
is that McNichol planted the item.) But 
Tim doesn’t want to talk about girls. 
(“Maybe ГЇЇ never get married; maybe I'll 
have six kids. Who knows? God,” says the 
young man who saw his father summers 
and Christmastime when he was a kid, “if 
I have kids, 1 want to be there for them. 
One hundred percent.”) He wants to talk 
about acting—and the games people play 
at audition: 

“When I was going up for auditions, 1 
thought it was important to do something 
just a little bit different—to have some 
kind of subtext going that would cause a 
subliminal reaction. It’s very hard to ex- 
plain, but if there are four people in a room 
that you've never met before and you real- 
ly want to play a part, you can walk in and 
sit on a chair and go through all the hello- 
how-are- you-tell -me-what-you've- done 
stuff—you never get their names; it's part 
of their power game—or you can do some- 
thing different. There are four chairs 
together and one single, solitary chair in 
the middle of the room, and it’s clear when 
you walk in that that's the hot seat. And 
you're in it. So you can go through their 
number, read three pages of a script 
you've never seen and then hear them say, 
‘Thank you very much, we'll be in touch.” 
Oryou can do something else. A few times, 
T've said, ‘Hey, can I shut the curtains? 
It's a little bright in here.’ Thats a way of 
freezing time. of changing the rhythm. 
You're on your own rhythm. On that day, 
you're going in to do this once. They re 
seeing 40 people doing the exact same 
thing, reading from the exact same 
script—so if you can't somehow break 
the rhythm, you're lost. 

“I never planned to act this way. It’s 
only now, looking back, that I realize why 
my instincts made me do it and why it was 
an effective way of going about it. Some 
people will bring a dead pigeon with them 
toan audition and say 'Hey" or they'll trip 
over furniture or wear very w 
clothing. I never sat back and thought, 
Maybe ГЇЇ tie my shoelaces and break one 
and ask one of the guys to lend me one—it 
was never that. It was feeling the room 
and fecling the impatience of the people, 
fecling whatever was going on. It is your 
moment, it may not happen again; this is 
your time, and you're trying 
to do the best you can." 

Tim didn't, out of choice, work for a 
year afier Ordinary People and Taps, and 
he is now very much sought after (bank- 
able is the term). But that doesn’t preclude 
his having to audition, Academy Award or 
no Academy Award. Dino De Laurentiis 


auditioned him for a role in an epic film, 
kept him waiting, kept him guessing, kept 
him hoping; and then, when Tim signed 
up to shoot a movie with a young Austral- 
ian director in Alaska (“Sixteen wecks in 
Alaska, which means 16 new romances," 
says a friend of his), Dc Laurentiis, who 
plays very close to his chest, immediately 
announced that he would postpone the 
film until Hutton, to whom he had been 
extremely cool, was available—on the 
strength of which Tim does a very poor 
imitation of a very crazy Italian. 

“For Ordinary People, though, Redford 
made it so comfortable for the actor who 
came in; he put every actor so much at 
ease,” Tim says. “I just remember going 
in and being locked into wanting to do the 
reading—no games— because 1 could feel 
the passion and the warmth from him. I 
could feel that he wasn’t just trying to cast 
this movie and get it over with. There was. 
just such care taken. He's so beautiful that. 
мау. ... 
‘You have to have all your antennae out 
and adjust to the situation. Just like real 
life. 


“Гт not playing any games now, in this 
room, with you. I don't have to, Do I?" 
е 

It is five РМ. апа Tim is hungry again. 
He orders two bowls of onion soup (which 
he doesn’t cat), two bagels with cream 
cheese, two club sandwiches and tea. 
Room service says it has no cream cheese. 
Tim says, “Hey, I'm really hungry. I need 
cream cheese.” The cream cheese arrives, 
along with a blushing waitress, whom he 
flirts with, flirting to him being second 
nature. 

Now he wants to set the record straight. 
All this talk about games has made him 
nervous: 

“Actors are accused of being phony, of 
playing a role all the time. But if they are, 
it’s because there’s a demand on them to 
be the person who touched someone 
through a role. That's what destroys some 
actors. Like, after Ordinary People, if 1 
wasn't sensitive or vulnerable, it would 
blow people's minds. So then, all of a sud- 
den, you have a fight: Your inner mind is 
saying, 'God, you have to break away from 
that; you're not Conrad at all.’ Being 


"I'm from the Hazardous Wastes Agency, and I have 
something to tell you about your lawn." 


PLAYBOY 


honest ought to be the easiest thing in the 
world. For an actor, it's the hardest. You 
can't ever be afraid of using everything 
that's in you. Everything. 

“I think I'm honest. I try. I really do. 
Can't you tell? 

“It does hurt if you've done an interview 
and then the guy says, ‘Seems to be this, 
scems to be that.’ I mean, I know you have 
to draw conclusions from what I say, but 
why can’t I just say it? See, the alternative 
is to develop a rap, to hide under a speech 
and to make that samc rap over and over 
again and not to let them get at you at all. 
I could never develop a rap. An interview 
is really a false situation. It’s not two 
people sitting down and talking, it’s one 
person talking to hundreds or thousands of 
people he doesn’t know and telling them 
how he feels about everything. There are 
thousands of people in this room right 
now, and it’s hard, being exposed like that. 

“I could never develop a rap. If that 
ever happened, | really wouldn’t want to 
do this. І really couldn't do this. There is. 
something quite amazing about somebody 
asking questions and you having the 
opportunity to talk about the way you feel. 
"That doesn't happen in real life. Your girl- 
friend doesn't say to you, ‘So how do you 
feel about this, how do you feel about 
that?” And I'm not the kind of person 
who'll talk about myself, so to have the 
opportunity to talk about important 
things—life, art—can be exhausting if it’s 
not working, if it’s not happening, if you're 
misunderstood or if the person comes to 
the door with the piece already written 
and just needs the necessary quotes. 
"That's happened. Hell. Phew. 

“Maybe at times I’m not as sensitive as 
Conrad; maybe I'm not the loner, the iso- 
lated figure no one understands. Maybe 
I'm not that, but if people want me to be 
that, it’s fine—but not for more than 
five minutes. I’m not gonna re-create the 
role for them. 

“I'm not being an actor today. I'm 
being me. Do you get it?” 

What I get is that Tim, at the tender age 
of 22, is trying to forge difficult connections 
between life and art, contrivance and rcal- 
ity—and is being honest. 

As he is when he talks about money 
(and an honest incoherence emerges). 

“You're bopping around the city with 
some pals—sure, money makes a differ- 
ence to friendship—and you say, ‘Hey! 
Let's go there.’ And they say, `1 can't afford 
to do that.’ So then an interesting thing 
happens. You say, ‘Don’t worry about it; 
TII pay.’ And then the person says, ‘No, I 
don't want you to pay,’ I don't know. I lost 
a real good friend by lending him money. 
This was a kid I grew up with, my best 
friend. I said, ‘Oh, come оп, i 
wouldn't be good, man, believe 
wouldn't be right, it would get in the way 
of our friendship. He said, ‘Aw, now, 
what are you talking about? So 1 gave him 
the money and I haven't heard from him 
since. I can understand that, because he 


probably can't pay me bai 
something I never expected 
mean, I hoped he would, but there was no 
way Га wake up in the morning and say, 
‘Maybe today ГЇЇ get the check? He can't 
make that phone call—the one that ac- 
knowledges that I was able to lend him 
moncy and that he can't pay me back." 

Why can't Tim Hutton mal that 

phone call himself? Some protective in- 
ict prevents me from asking. 
My sister says she thinks my working 
so much is awful: “There arc actors out 
there your age that haven't had the oppor- 
tunities you've had. It ought to be morc 
; everybody should work. I tell her, 
‘Heidi, I agree with you, everyone should 
work, but it's not set up that way.’ It's a 
business. "That's the way it is. “From each 
according to his abilities, to cach accord- 
ing to his needs; yeah. But if Ordinary 
People had come down to me and another 
chap who'd never, ever done anything— 
I'd done a couple of television shows and 
stufi —what should I have said to Redford, 
‘Give it to the other guy”? 

“OK, a lot of it doesn't make sense. 
There are so many people who don't get 
work. People say to me, "You never paid 
your dues.’ I think I did. People say, ‘It 
happened so quickly, blah, blah, blah." 
OK, it’s scary. Steve Martin put it into 
perspective for me. He said, ‘Just think, 
you're 22; you could have a five-year 
slump and still be only 27. Um still not 
used to it. It happened so fast. When 
things come slowly, when I'm not working, 
I think, Maybe that’s all there was. Maybe 
that was just something that happened 
when 1 was young. Maybe I’m not going 
to work anymore. When finally all the in- 
tensity of Ordinary People wound down, 
and the Oscars, the this, the that, I said to 
myself, ‘My God, I went through that? 
And I'm only 21.’ Oh, boy. Lots of times, 
you're expected to act like you were 40 or 
something. There were times when I 
wanted to do so much so soon. Then I 
realized, if I did it all in the next three 
years, what would be left? Not me. l'm 
young. Twenty years from now, ГЇЇ be 42. 
I got 20 years before I'm 42. 

"Someone once said that money is jive, 
but what you can do with it isn’t. Salaries 
in the entertainment world are pretty 
crazy. Quite crazy, really; but the thing 
about it is, 1 don't know how long this is 
going to go on. I don’t know if I'll always 
be accepted. I don’t know if PI always get 
parts. I know right now Гус locked into 
something. I don't know if I'll still be suc- 
cessful at this when I'm 30. I don’t know. 
For that lack of security, it’s nice to be paid 
the kind of money I'm paid, because then 
you've got it, you've got it no matter what. 
I don't know. 

“When I came back from Taps, 1 went 
down to Malibu to sce the real-estate per- 
son, looked at a couple of houses—there 
was a great one, right on the beach, four 
bedrooms—man, walk out the back door 
and you’re on the beach, you've got a deck, 


you've got all this property, it’s a cool 
house, it’s a house, man, and the rent for it 
is outrageous. Outrageous. | remember 
going through all kinds of trips—saying, 
‘Man, I really would like to go for this, I 
really would like to spend a year down 
here at the beach, I'd really love to do 
that? And I remember thi God, Im 
so young, I know it's crazy, ugh, it's gross, 
all that money . . . and then I'm thinking, 
Wait a te— 1 have the opportunity to 
do that right now. I might not have that 
opportunity again. I want to go for it. And 
I went for it. Man, I had the best year 
down there. It was outrageous to be doing 
that, rigi k Heidi. But I'll never forget 
it; it was the best year.” 

And the standard actors disclaimer: 
“Sec, I'm not in touch with the mone 
The money gocs to some business manager 
and it gets holed up in a bank somewhere. 
So it’s not like I’m in touch with the money 
Гуе earned in a direct I get a check 
every week, like an allowance, from the 
bai got a couple of credit cards, 
things like that. I don’t know.” 

Things like that and a red Porsche 924. 

What jive money will buy! Mobility, for 
one thing. Tim has a less outrageously ex- 
pensive house in Malibu now; but neither 
coast is a stranger to him. With his mouth 
full of a club sandwich and the music of 
the Stones in the background, he says, 
“These days, I travel light. Shit, I don’t 
think bicoastal. Bicoastal is an annoying 
word. When I think of bicoastal, I think of 
a person who has a buttordown-collar 
shirt with a little Polo thing on it, sunglass- 
ез, short hair, real thin and white pants 
with a pleat all the way down the middle 
and pink socks and he’s looking around all 
the time, looking nervous. He’s shouting, 
*Bicoastal! I'm bicoastal! When's the plane 
leave? I gotta get back to the other coast. 
Frantic, dumb.” 
7 doesn't think of himself as being 
rooted in a place. He thinks of himself as. 
being rooted in people, especially his 
mother. “The most incredible woman. 
You wouldn't believe the things she's done 
in her life. She took up the harp about 
three years ago, plays it beautifully, plays 
the piano, plays the flute. She makes these 
miniature books and these miniature vil- 
lages out of balsawood and stuff, she 
paints, has a great old-fashioned doll col- 
lection, she was a schoolteacher for a long 
time, she worked with autistic kids for a 
while, An incredible mother. God. I mean, 
my sister and I are both real independent. 
For the most part, we trust people—and 
all that comes from my mother. She's difler- 
ent from other moms. . .. 

“This is hard. It’s really hard for me to 
have to define myself. "Who is Timothy 
Hutton?” Shit. How the hell do I know? Г 
can't. Y know how I feel about things. Ги 
honest about how I feel. Isn't that enough? 
Shouldn't that be enough?" 

б 

Sidney Lumet has called ап unsched- 

uled shooting of Daniel today, and Tim 


wants me on the set, which is a closed one. 
Publicist Andrea Jafle is afraid that cither. 
Lumet will take it into his head to throw 
me out if the shooting goes badly or Tim 
will have a temper tantrum—to which, 
she insists, he is given when he's filming. 

There is, in fact, a great deal of tension 
on the set—but it’s intrinsic to the scene 
that has just been shot: When I arrive, the 
air is filled with acrid smoke; an electro- 
cution has just been simulated, and the 
"executed" actor buckled so hard in the 
electric chair that he broke it. It’s that kind 
of movie—let’s pretend with a vengeance 

When Tim greets me with a bear hug, I 
can feel the tension in his body: He's on. 
“They liked Mom’s miniature books,” he 
says, but his eyes, wary and caged, are at 
odds with his easy words. He is, however. 
as friendly and as pleasant as can be, given 
the circumstances, which are that he is 
shooting a crucial scene: Daniel is tracking 
down the man who turned his father in to 
the Government. He prowls and paces 
while Lumet prepares for the shooting 

His acting is a kind of revelation—to 
Doctorow, who keeps beaming and mut- 
tering “Fantastic! and even to jaded 
members of the crew, Teamsters who have 
seen it all. They all but break into ap- 
plause. is so intense—so indivisible 
from his role—that the other actors, pale 
by comparison, have trouble remembering 
the simplest lines. He wipes them all out. 1 
forget for very long moments that he is 
Timothy Hutton. He is Daniel. Not Con- 
rad, not a wounded introvert; Daniel—a 
wounded, angry searcher after truth. 

"Whats all this about Tim’s being dit- 
ficult on the set?” I ask. *He's a piece of 
cake." 

“You should have seen him two years 
ago,” someone volunteers. "He was a 
spoiled, demanding baby—and he's still 
fierce if someone rubs him the wrong 
way." 

“You bet your ass,” says a publicist who 
has rubbed him the wrong way. 

After the shooting, Tim bounds up the 
stairs to his dressing room, which once be- 
longed to Buster Keaton. Everything in it 
is fake—the curtains are tacked to the 
walls like curtains in a dollhouse; the fire- 
place has a water drain in it. Tim's pres- 
ence emphasizes the fakeness; his energy 
bounces off the walls. 

“That was great, what we talked about 
last night,” he s; “I had a good time 
Did you? Really? Wasn't it great?” He 
paces. He makes an obvious effort to shake 
himself out of his role. Then he stretches 
out on the couch and s; in a measured, 
almost hypnotic voice: “For the first time 
in a long time, | feel like Pm sitting back in 
the chair instead of leaning forward. 1 feel 
as close to being comfortable with what I 
do and how I feel and who I am as I ever 
have. It's real smooth. A 
you wouldn't have felt restul with me: 


it is? I finally realized that it’s OK to be a 
good person; it's really beautiful. Irs OK 
lo say to yourself, “You're а good person, 
you like people, you like life, things 


you'd have felt wired. There's not the 
urgency, now, that I had before about 
what's going to happen next. I don't need 
to have a plan. I just play it by ear. It real- s 
ly feels nice. Two years ago, | was angry, you, things are beautiful to you, you're 
moody, cynical, sarcastic—not pleasant to sensitive. And its OK to be all those 
be around. If people were nice to me, I things.’ No shrinks 
wouldn't trust them. Anger was a way to never wanted or needed a shrink. For a 
deal with success—it was a shell: No- while, you can kind of get off on b 
body's getting in; nobody really knows me; complex and broody: it’s cool. But, boy, 1 
ha, ha, ha. It was a confusing time. All don’t believe that anymore. Thats what 
those things that people would say to me сап destroy you. [m in slow motion 
when all the success happened, like, ‘Be now—cverything is a breeze. . 

careful about this, about that, blah, blah, “Weve got an auction to go to tomor- 
Dlal’—bud. I feel like Гус returned to row, remember: 
something, to a nice place. You know what 


"That's a nice feeling. 1 


When this lady goes for 
a Sunday drive, its at 250 
MPH. So everything in her 
car, including spark plugs, 
has to work perfectly. Profes- 
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Muldowney, three- ¢ 
time NHRA Top Fuel World Champion 4 
and perhaps the world's fastest 
woman, recently switched іо NGK 
spark plugs. Like millions of motor- 
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has learned that NGK plugs with 
their wide heat-range copper core 
center electrode simply outperform 
ordinary plugs. To make sure youre 
getting the most out of your car, 
motorcycle or any engine, imported i 
or domestic, switch to МСК. 
Shirley did—and she’s 
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PLAYBOY POTPOURRI 


people, places, objects and events of interest or amusement 


BONING UP 

ON SOCES HOW TRIVIAL! 
бузы vs to Ifyou know who gave Marilyn Monroe a 
Барта АЫ poodle named Mafia, what was Hoyt 
sagan ina need Withelm’s favorite pitch and who was 
repel user ЫА Qo ЦЮ Olive OyT's brother, then Trivial Pursuit is 


into something more 
comfortable, such as Sole 
Socks—85 percent cotton 
socks in white, navy or. 
brown that have an 
anatomic reflexology map 
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with anatomic drawings of 
the foot on the tops. And 
incase you would like to 
extend your massage 
northward, Health 
Harvest Unlimited, 

P.O. Box 427, Fairfax, 
California 94930, which 
sells the socks for $7.95 а 
pair, postpaid, also sells 
anatomic T-shirts for $11. 
Sorry, Health Harvest 
doesn’t plan to market 
anatomic panties. 


your kind of action. Irs a $29.95 board 
game, available at most department 
that contains 6000 trivia questions 
Answer them all and you'll be the life (or 
possibly the death) of any party. (Answers 
Frank Sinatra, knuckle ball and 


NEWFANGLED 
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The horniest little old lady of them all, 
Buck Brown's cartoon character Granny, 
has escaped from the pages of rr viov and 
is now running wild on a 13-ounce beer 
mug that’s available for only $8 from 
Graphco Distributing Company, P.O, Box 

994, Chicago 60621. Or, if it's highballs 
you prefer (Granny does), a 14/-ounce 
highball glass and a ceramic собе 
mug with Granny on them also are 
available for $8 cach. We'll drink to that 


UNDER THE SEA IN STYLE 


Jules’ Habitat, Ltd., is about to open 600 yards off the coast of Georgetown, 
yman Island, 30 feet down, and anyone who has yearned to make 
emo—and can pass the resort's proficiency test in scuba 
diving—is eligible to check in. For $230 a day per person, including meals, 
you get your own bedroom suite for two (the Habitat has only two suites, 
which are separate but equal) and bathroom, plus a shared entertainment 
area loaded with video goodies. Tishkofl, Wentworth Associates, 1710 Santa 
Monica Boulevard, Santa Monica, California 90404, is the company to 
write to for more info. By the way, in case you get claustrophobic, tethered 
supply gear is available for exploring, as is 24-hour room service by a 
merperson. Tonight, we're ordering submarine sandwiches. 


PLAY BALL CARDS 


STICKY WICKETS Ex-Yankee Jim Bouton has а new pitch, and it’s 
The big swing in garden just as hot as his sizzling fast ball was. He is selling 
sports this summer is to killer personalized baseball cards at a price that even a 
croquet—and we're not talking kid can afford: $24.95 for 50 cards, sent to Big 
about the children's back-vard LeagueCards, 121 Cedar Lane, Teaneck, New 

same played with coat-hanger Jersey 07666. Your picture will he on the card, 


wickets. For the kind of croquet plus your favorite activity (keep it clean, please), 
equipment real men use, therc's vital statistics and personal history (up to 40 

the Claremont Croquet words) on the flip side. ls a home run of an idea. 
Company, P.O. Bex 457, 
Southwest Harbor, Maine 
04679—a cottage industry 
that produces custom-made 
brassbound lignum vitae 
mallets for $150 each and a 
rock-maple six-wicket croquet 
set for $475. (The most 
expensive set on Claremont’s 
list is $900.) Just remember: 
When playing croquet, you 
wear white—and never sweat. 


COME FLYAWAY 
WITH ME 

Where else but in Las Vega 
could you fly like Peter Pan for 
five minutes in a padded cell for 
only $7 ($10 if you elect to take 
off on a weekend)? At Flyaway, 
yousign a waiver, suit up, 
spend about 25 minutes in an 


orientation class and then “fly” THE WHIFF-AND-PROOF SONG 
in a padded silo, suspended in л Well-heeled vinophiles who can tell vanilla from 
air (if you're lucky) by the blast ONES ETOCS 
from a DC-4 airplane engine : i of vintage claret and invest instead in Le Nez du 
blowing through a metal grate Vin, a boxed set of 51 scents indigenous to wine 
in the floor, (An instructor is that come pack n small flasks accompanied 
there to help you get elevation.) by individual reference cards and a manual 
Flyaway's address is 200 Con- containing essays on aroma. Pick a bottle, any 
vention Center Drive—and in boule, from apricot to sulphur (ves, some wines 
case you're more chicken than smell like sulphur) and begin your oenological 
cagle and clect just tow atch the olfactory education alter sending a check tor $250 
ashen dissi 2 to the distributor, Francis Mollet, 68 Lockwood 
Road, Riverside, Connecticut 06878. Mon Dieu, 
sommelier, this wine smells like— merde! 


next case 


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JAN STEPHENSON 


(continued from page 117) 
the sand. Га kind of like to have it on the 
green; it would be nice and soft 


10. 


pLaynoy: What are your favorite and least 
favorite features of your body? 

STEPHENSON: I like my flat stomach and my 
eyes. I absolutely hate my thighs. 11 don't 
work out, they get flabby. 


H. 


rLAYBOY: Who are some sexy male and 
female golfers? 

STEPHENSON: On the women’s tour, Nancy 
Lopez has a certain kind of sex appeal, 
especially since she’s lost weight. There 
aren't any men on the tour that I think are 
sexy. I think baseball players have wonder- 
ful bodies; golfers don't. But what I want in 
a man whom 1 live with is totally different 
from what I want to look at. Now, among 
baseball players, I've got to go with Jim 
Palmer. Unfortunately, | feel like I never 
got off the ground with Jim. | did a cover 
with him for a sports magazine. When he 
arrived, my hair was in curle 
was real white and one of my eyes was swol- 
len. Га been in Florida, and I was allergic 
tò all that pollen. I looked like hell. Jim 
said, “You're Jan Stephenson?" ‘Thank 
you. He looked gorgeous. He had a suntan 
from spring training, and he was wearing a 
tuxedo. I had to stare into his eyes for two 
hours while they took pictures. I couldn't 
find a thing wrong. 


12. 


PLAYBOY: Defend the proposition that golf- 
ers make better lovers. 

STEPHENSON: Maybe it’s because they have 
such a good touch. In golf, you have to be 
good in all areas: You have to be powerful, 
be strong, have stamina and be able to con- 
trol yourself. Plus, you have to have an un- 
believable touch. All those things are 
important in making love—especially dis- 
cipline and patience. 


13. 


viAYBOY: Is Jan Stephenson too much for 
one man? 

STEPHENSON: Yeah, there's no doubt about 
it: I'm a handful. It’s very difficult for one 
man to handle all the “me І couldn't 
have a man who wouldn’t want to partici- 
pate in my career in some way. Otherwise, 
Га never sce him, and it's fun to share. 
When I win, I want everyone to feel as good 
as Ido. When I’m down, I need a man. 


14. 


тилувоу: Your private life has been making 
news for quite a while. What's going on? 

STEPHENSON: That's а good question. I was 
married last September in Fort Worth to 
Eddie Vossler, after my marriage to Larry 
Kolb was annulled. Eddie and I had been 
living together for years, but one day I 
said, “Im gone. Im mad. "Bye, Fm 


“Yoo-hoo—Millicent! It's getting chilly, so Гое brought your wrap.” 


183 


PLAYBOY 


leaving.” I figured that if we didn't have a 
piece of paper saying we were married, we 
didn’t need a piece of paper saying we 
were divorced. I thought it would really 
hurt Eddie if I married someone else, and 
I married Larry. 

The whole thing had started when 
Eddie hired Larry to help me with our. 
business. Larry turned around and, I be- 
licve, took advantage of us. He had me 
convinced that he absolutely adored me. 
Га just broken my foot, so my golf was 
gone. I had to restructure my life. Larry. 
said he'd be my valet and he'd cook for me. 
I'd get up to go to practice and he'd cook 
breakfast and do my laundry. He was basi- 
cally a servant. I thought, This is great; this 
would be great as a marriage. He said all 
he wanted was to marry me. So I thought, 
ГЇЇ agree to marry him just to keep him 
quiet. I was thinking maybe it wouldn't be 
so bad. I tried to make the best of it, but I 
couldn't stand him. He drove me crazy. 


The marriage was annulled. The judge 
recognized the fact that Eddie and I had 
had a common-law marriage. Larry re- 
fused to accept that, mainly because he 
thought that if our splitting were declared 
a divorce, he could get half of what Га 
earned. I'd quit before Га let him have a 
penny. His appeal was denied. He could 
reappeal the annulment, but I don't think 
he will. I always thought he had it planned 
that way from the beginning. He got lucky 
with timing. He loves publicity. And he 
had misled me about Eddie. 


15. 

praynoy; Why do golfers dress so badly? 
STEPHENSON: Golf is so old-fashioned. 
People are getting more modern, but the 
golf clothing hasn't come along with it. It’s 
really sad. Tennis clothes are beautiful. I 
hate to wear golf clothes. The colors are 
horrible. It really takes away from the 
game. 


“How can any foreign power truly 
respect us if it’s being attacked by weapons that are 
verging on the obsolete?” 


16. 


PLAYBOY: How do you give yourself strokes? 
STEPHENSON: I have an insecurity problem. 
When I look in the mirror with no make-up 
on, I think, I’m no big deal. It really con- 
cerns me that I’m not good-looking. When 
I want to give myself a stroke, I dress up, 
go out and somebody will tell me 1 look 
great. That'll pump me up pretty good. 


17. 


PLAYBOY: Are overweight people kidding 
themselves when they golf for exercise? 
STEPHENSON: No. Admittedly, if you stop for 
a hot dog and potato chips and you drink 
beer all the way around, then you're kid- 
ding yourself. But even with a golf cart, it's 
unbelievable exercise. You're out there for 
five hours—so you're not eating for five 
hours—and with the swinging, the bending 
over, you burn about 350 calories ап 
hour. Running, maybe you burn 700 in an 
hour—but that’s a lot of running. Golf. 
stretches your stomach muscles. It's not 
strenuous. It doesn’t build tight muscles, 
but it builds long ones. 


18. 
PLAYBOY: Do your breasts ever get in the 
way of your swing? 
STEPHENSON: No, not at all. Г don't notice 
them at all. 


19. 


PLAYBOY: How does a guy get to carry your 
clubs? 

STEPHENSON: He has to keep his mouth shut. 
I may bend a little for men off the golf 
course, but when I’m on the course, I’m the 
boss. My dad is caddying me now, and he 
never says a word about golf. But that 
wasn't always true. Once, I threw some 
grass up and asked him, "The grass is 
downwind, isn't it?” He said, “It’s against 
the wind.” He was looking at the flag blow- 
ing toward us and I was throwing the grass 
up at the tee. Well, the wind was swirling. 
We were a little behind and it was time to 
tee off, so I took a club according to his 
advice and it flew to the green. The wind 
was coming downwind. I blew the hole, 
chipped it up almost in the hole and—on 
purpose—missed the putt to show him 
that it was his mistake. Sometimes, I'll ask, 
“Which way is that wind?" and he won't 
say a word. 


20. 


PLAYBOY: OK, once and for all, what's the 
difference between a hook and a slice? 
STEPHENSON: I would prefer to be a hooker 
any time. Most people are slicers; that 
is, they hit the ball left to right, because 
they're in bad positions. A hook—where 
the ball veers right to left—comes from a 
powerful position and you're still going to 
get a lot of land. If you slice the ball, you're 
doing a lot more wrong. If I were a slicer, 
I'd be dead. So it's good to be a hooker. 


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186 


TODAY* 


NAVY 


(continued from page 86) 


“Tf you run a good, clean ship, countered Bill, 
‘how come my boy got beat up?” 


possible, no independent verification of the 
cause of Paul’s death available. Bill began 
to think the Navy didn’t want him to have 
the answers he was looking for. 

. 

Paul Trerice, like thousands before him, 
had joined the Navy to see the world. And, 
of course, to get out of Algonac, where, in 
1979, a recession was under way, dashing 
the hopes of young men like Paul—decent 
kids often lacking in ambition and educa- 
tion who usually followed their fathers into 
some sort of factory work or physical labor. 
Around him, Paul saw unemployment and 
unfulfilled dreams. Fired by his father’s 
patriotism, however, he saw the Navy as a 
chance—a chance to travel to exotic ports 
and, not incidentally, to meet exotic 
women. It was an easy choice to make. 

At first, it seemed like the right choice. 
Basic training went by quickly and cas- 
ily. Strong and athletic, Paul found the 
rigors of boot camp no more difficult than 
his old high school football practice. 

By carly September 1979, he was in San 
Diego, assigned to a squadron that had 
just returned from a cruise in the western 
Pacific aboard an aircraft carrier and had 
settled on a goal: to be a designated plane 
captain. Each aircraft had one, whose job 
it was to be totally responsible for the 
plane, to have it ready for flight at all 
times. While the plane captain never got to 
fly in the aircraft, his name was stenciled 
on the fuselage and his efforts were crucial 
to the safety of the plane's four-man crew. 

By September 1980, Paul's squadron 
was ready for duty. It joined the crew of 
the U.S.S. Ranger and put out to sca 
under the command of Captain Dan 
Pedersen. 

Commanding a ship such as the Rang; 
er—1000 feet long, with a full crew of 
5000 officers and enlisted men—is as close 
as a man can come to being an absolute 
monarch. Because the crew is often at sea 
for several months, the commanding 
officer's word is law and his personality 
and style can determine the mood of the 
entire ship. Almost immediately, Captain 
Pedersen managed to impress his new 
charges as a good C.O. He was no distant, 
untouchable god—every day he personal- 
ly gave a briefing over the ship's loud- 
speaker. 

It was an exciting moment for Paul 
when the Ranger pulled out of San Diego 
on its way to Hawaii. So far, the Navy had 
been his biggest adventure ever, and now, 
with his first tour of duty under way, life 
seemed full of possibilit Sometimes, 
however, his excitement and his hunger for 
adventure clouded his judgment. When 
the ship anchored in Hawaii, he went 


ashore one night when his section hed 
duty and he was supposed to stay on 
board. He was caught and punished. He 
was hit with a $250 fine, was restricted to 
the ship for 30 days and was reduced one 
pay grade to airman apprentice. But the 
entire sentence was suspended for six 
months, and Paul figured that if he could 
keep out of trouble а mere six months, he'd 
be OK 

Armed with a new determination, he 
worked hard as the ship made its way from 
Hawaii w the Philippines and then, on 
October 23, to the Indian Ocean to begin. 
patrol operations. After more than two 
months at sea, the Ranger docked at 
Mombasa, Kenya, for five days of R&R. 
Paul had managed to behave himself and 
had gotten his reward: He had made des- 
ignated plane captain and proudly sent 
home a snapshot of himself standing 
alongside his very own S-3 twin-jet air- 
craft, with PAUL TRERICE, ALGONAC MICH ste 
ciled on the fuselage. Bill was pleased. His 
son could do a lot worse than make the 
Navy his career. 

"The Ranger was back on duty in the In- 
dian Occan when Paul's mother took а 
turn for the worse. Bill wired the American 
Red Cross requesting emergency leave for 
his son, who had not been home for a year. 
The Ranger high command approyed the 
request, and in February, Paul was flown 
off the ship for a 30-day leave. 

б 


For the four months she lingered after 
his death, Irene blamed herself for her 
son's fate. When he had considered joining 
the Service, he had favored the Air Force, 
planning to follow in his father's footsteps. 
But she had reminded him that he loved 
the water so much, maybe he should con- 
sider the Navy. "If only he hadn't lis- 
tened.” she told her husband. When she 
died, Bill buried her next to their son. 
"With Paul gone,” he said, "she just 
didn't want to live anymore." 

Bill, on the other hand, was full of ener- 
gy—and rage. He had been able to do 
nothing to save his wife, but he felt he at 
least deserved a few answers about his son. 
He telephoned a friend at a Detroit news- 
paper, figuring a little media pressure 
would help him get some information from 
the Navy. He got in touch with a staff aide 
to his local Congressman, who promised 
that a letter would be sent to the Secretary 
of the Navy requesting full details about 
what had really happened that morning on 
the Ranger. 

"The Navy, however, was not inclined to 
cooperate. When Pedersen did call, it was 
not to offer his condolences. As Bill recalls 
their telephone conversation, Pedersen 


was not sorry, he was antagonistic— 
angry, he said, about the news reports Bill 
had generated and the whole atmosphere 
of “hullabaloo.” 

“If you had just waited until my inves- 
tigation was completed,” he complained, 
“you'd have found out I run a good, clean 


“If you run a good, clean ship," coun- 
tered Bill, “how come my boy got beat 
up?” 

The conversation deteriorated from 
there, Bill remembers. While Pedersen 
took him to task for making a fuss and 
appeared to be worried about what the 
controversy might do to his Navy career, 
Bill felt his temper bcginning to boil. 
Finally, he erupted. 

“Captain, you're the most inconsiderate 
son ofa bitch I've ever talked to in my life. 
You're worried about your career when 
Гуе lost my son. You caused my boy to die 
before his time. I’m going to get to the bot- 
tom of this if it’s the last thing I do.” 

After he hung up, Bill's quest to uncover 
the cause of his son's death became a full- 
blown obsession. He went on as many TV 
and radio talk shows as he could. He lined 
up several members of the Michigan Con- 
gressional delegation to lean on the Navy 
And he hired Peter Kelley, a respected for- 
mer Federal prosecutor now in private 
practice, to file a claim against the Navy 
for the return of Paul's internal organs. 

As the story spread, Bill started getting 
letters from across the country, Some 
simply offered support, but others were 
from parents who had lost sons in the Navy 
and who now questioned the explanations 
they had received. The Delroit News began 
investigating several mysterious deaths of 
sailors and eventually won a Pulitzer Prize 
for its reports. 

Four weeks after Paul died, John Leh- 
man, the Secretary of the Navy, made a 
long-planned appearance at the Economic 
Club of Detroit for an Armed Forces Day 
luncheon. Before his speech, he agreed to 
meet the press, though he stuck to a pre- 
pared statement: 


It would be inappropriate for me or 
anyone else in the Navy . . . to discuss 
further the death of Airman Trerice 
or the Ranger Correctional Custody 
Unit and brig until the investigation 
process is completed. . .. The number 
and intensity of the various allega- 
tions . . . leads mc to believe there 
may be problems relating to Ranger’s 
brig and Correctional Custody Unit, 
but we must wait for all the facts to be 
presented before we make judgments 
or take action. . . . If there were de- 
ficiencies or derelictions or violations 
of the law or regulations, these will be 
ferreted out and remedial action will 
be taken and taken swiftly. This I 
promise you. 


Attorney Kelley wasn't too impressed 
Ih Lehman's promise of appropriate ac- 
tion, since just the day before, the Navy 


had rejected Bill's claim for the alleged 
wrongful death of his son. “Our claim was 
rected in two weeks, which must have 
been a world’s record,” says Kelley. “That 
kind of claim usually isn’t acted upon for 
six months to a year. I read that as an 
attempt by the Navy to start cutting its 
losses. And, of course, that’s the way mili- 
tary officers are taught to think." 

Kelley did achieve some successes, 
however. The Navy acceded to his de- 
mand for Paul’s internal organs, though 
officials made it perfectly clear that they 
considered it their right to keep any organs 
they deemed necessary. The Navy had 
been shipping home bodies sans organs for 
years, a spokesman said bluntly, and no 
one had ever complained before. “Of 
course,” Kelley points out, “the bodies 
always came home dressed for 
burial, and there weren't many parents 
like Bill Trerice, who went out and hired 
their own pathologist.” 

Kelley promptly fired off a letter to the 
X “This is not a case, as suggested by 
you, of the Navy's simple desire to retain 
tissue from the deceased sailor, to deter- 
mine the cause of that sailor's death. Vir- 
tually all of Paul's organs were removed 
and retained by the Navy, which pre- 
vented the Trerice family from obtaining 
their own autopsy to determine the cause 
of Paul's death. Given the suspicious cir- 
cumstances of Paul's death, the Navy's ac- 
tions could only be interpreted at that time 
аз a ‘cover-up? ™ 

The organs were tumed over to Spi 
he could complete his autopsy. But again 
Bill’s pathologist had to take the Navy’s 
word, for once organs are removed from a 
body, there is no way to be absolutely sure 
which body they came from. His examina- 
tion of the organs gave Spitz no rcason to 
suspect any cause of death other than 
heatstroke. 

Bill began talking with Paul's friends on 
the Ranger and amassing disturbing in- 
formation. Shipmate Kevin Daly had seen 
Paul just hours before he died and told Bill 
that he had bcen exercised before break- 
fast, in violation of regulations. Bill came 
across information that contradicted the 
Navy's claim that Paul had eaten break- 
fast that morning and dinner the night be- 
fore. Bill also got weather statistics for 
Subic Bay the day Paul died. While 
Pedersen claimed it had been 78 degrees 
with 75 percent humidity, Bill’s informa- 
tion indicated that the temperature was 
several degrees higher with greater 
humidity. 

It was an incredibly complex jigsaw 
puzzle that Bill was slowly trying to 
assemble, with no guarantee that he would 
find more than a few meaningless discrep- 
ancies between the facts and the official 
version. His work could be no more than a 
waste of time, he worried—or, worse, he 
could be needlessly harming careers and 
endangering Paul's friends. And nothing 
he could find out would bring his son back. 

Still, when he thought of Paul's last 
visit, which he did often, he found a cer- 


tain strength. The trip had been brief but 
special. Bill had come away from their 
late-night talks convinced that his son, de- 
spite a setback or two, was growing up and 
that he truly loved the Navy. In fact, Paul 
had told his father that he had set a new 
goal—to actually fly aboard the planes he 
helped service as an air crewman. He was 
planning to qualify for the selective- 
training program, and to Bill that meant 
Paul was making a major commitment. 


. 
What really happened on board the 


U.S.S. Ranger during the last four days of 
Paul's life? While Bill continued to assem- 
ble the bits and pieces of information that 
he could get from Paul's friends and from 
Spitz's autopsy, he knew that the only way 
to get a complete picture was from thc 
Navy itself, and his campaign in the media 
and with his local legislators eventually 
forced it to conduct an investigation. 

The result was a 3000-page document 
completed on August 19, 1981, by the 
Office of the Judge Advocate General. 
That report, plus testimony from Paul's 
shipmates and interviews with other Navy 
personnel, enables one to construct the fol- 
lowing chronology of how—if not why— 
Paul Trerice died 

April 11. 0900 hours. Paul reported to 
the master-at-arms' office as ordered after 
deserting an assigned watch. He was 
escorted by an M.A.A. to the ship's bar- 
bershop, where he received a “high and 


tight” haircut, and to the medical office for 
a routine preconfinement physical by a 
ship’s doctor. Then he was taken to his 
berthing compartment, where he was told 
to pack his belongings in his seabag. 

1220 hours. Through an oversight of the 
M.A.A., Paul did not receive the noon 
M.A.A. took him to the hatch of 
U., located on the third deck 
a level. It had two spaces: a 
15' x 20' berthing area with 18 bunks and 
an 8' x 10' deck area. From that point on, 
Paul would be in the hands of the C.C.U. 
escorts, a unit of 20 petty officers under the 
command of Master-at-Arms First-Class 
Petty Officer Wilbur Coffman. Paul 
climbed down the ladder to the C.C.U., 
but before he reached the bottom step, the 
scabag was wrenched from his grip and he 
was pulled off the ladder and thrown 
against the bulkhead by several es- 
corts. His indoctrination to the C.C.U. 
had begun. 

“We got a big fucker here,” said one of 
the escorts. 

“He looks like a pussy to me,” said 
another. 

“Strip them clothes off, awardee. All of 
vem!” 

When Paul didn't move fast enough to 
suit them, one of the escorts grabbed his 
blue-dungarce shirt and ripped it open, 
causing buttons to fly 

“Spread-eagle a, t the bulkhead, 
awardee. We're going to frisk you. Keep 


“It’s your husband. OK if he eats the meat loaf?” 


187 


PLAYBOY 


188 


your eyes straight ahead and don't look 
around." 

"OK." 

“You don't say yes or no or OK down 
here, awardee. From now on, it will be 
cither ‘Yes, Petty Officer’ or ‘No, Petty 
Officer.’ Do you understand me?" 

“Yes, Petty Officer.” 

1400 hours. Since there was no air con- 
ditioning in the C.C.U., the heat and the 
humidity were stifling. The escorts made a 
point of standing in front of a fan. Paul, 
who had been allowed to dress after they 
checked his body “for scars,” was wet with 
sweat. He was still trying to master the 
“break” position and the “beat the hand” 
game. 

“Break!” screamed one of the escorts. 

Paul fell face forward to the deck in the 
attention pesition and only at the last 
second did his hands, still at his sides, 
break his fall. [t was the first time that he 
had made it down without getting hit in 
the back of the head by an escort. 

“What do you say now?” asked a petty 
officer. 

“[—this awardee—I mean— 

“No pronouns are allowed! How many 
times do I have to tell you that? Roll over 
and assume the thinking position.” The 
escort gave Paul a swift kick m the leg. 
“Your feet are to be held off the deck! Legs. 
straight!” 

1530 hours. “Lock up, awardee!” Coff- 
man was so close to his face when he yelled 
the command that Paul was sprayed with 
spittle. 

Paul came off the deck slowly and 
assumed the stiff attention position. One 
petty officer later recalled that Paul was 
visibly shaking during that first “indoc” 
and complained that he hadn’t exercised 
like that in a long time. He was trying to 
remember that special thing he was sup- 
posed to do with his fingers and his knuck- 
les when he was struck on the back of a 
hand by a fist 

“You are slow!” yelled Coffman. 
"You're pissing me of." He turned to 
another petty officer. "Bring the 
equalizer.” 

The petty officer returned with a long 
wooden baton, Paul took a deep breath 
and brought his arm up to his face to wipe 
of some dripping sweat. 

Coffman’s face was now back in front of 
his, florid and screaming. “If you raise 
your hands above your waist again, I'm 
going to drop you. You're too big for me to 
fuck with, so ГЇЇ bring you down with this 
stick." 

“Break!” 

Paul went back to the deck, where he re- 
mained for 20 minutes. 

1600 hours. Paul stood before Com- 
mander Baker with Coffman next to him. 
According to Navy records, he was ac- 
cused of “disobeying order . . . to stay 
‘locked up’ and ‘sound off” while being 
indoctrinated in the C.C.U. His squadron 
С.О. agreed with Coffman that his punish- 
ment should be three days in the brig on a 


bread-and-water diet 

Paul asked for a conference with his 
squadron officer. Alone with his C.O., he 
told him of being kicked in the C.C.U. The 
С.О. left the room and confronted Cof- 
man in the hallway with the complaint. 

“Sir,” said Coffman, “he dropped his 
legs while in the thinking position, and one 
of my petty officers bumped his feet with 
his shoes just to let Trerice know his feet 
were on the deck. That’s all that hap- 
pened, sir.” 

1630 hours. Paul was escorted to the 
brig, which was operated by guards from 
the small Marine detachment aboard. He 
was shown into a cell. It was after normal 
meal hours, so Paul also missed what 
would have been his first dinner in the 
brig: three slices of white bread and two 
cups of water. 

April 13. 1450 hours. Paul went back to 
the C.C.U. He had had a lot of time to 
think during the past two days. He knew 


he had to get beyond the indoctrination so 
he could begin serving his 30-day sen- 
tence. The night before he went to the 
C.C.U., some of the guys in the squadron 
who had spent time there had told him the 
score: “You got to go along with the pro- 
gram or they'll dog the shit out of you.” 

The petty officers greeted him at the 
bottom of the ladder, again slamming him 
into the bulkhead. But this time, maybe 
because he knew what to expect, he did 
better. (Navy records state that he official- 
ly passed his second indoc in onc hour. But 
Kelley, who conducted his own investiga- 
tion, believes it lasted three or four hours 
and that Paul therefore missed another 
meal.) 

1800 hours. Joining the cight other 
awardees, Paul began an hour of regular 
physical training (P.T.). Jumping jacks 
Push-ups. Squat thrusts. ‘Ten-count body 
builders. Cherry pickers. Windmills. At 
the end of the hour, the awardees were 


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sweating profusely in the hot compart 
ment. Paul trembled during and after P.T. 

April 14. 0500 hours. Before breakfast, 
all awardees were required to do 20 push- 
ups in the hot berthing area for moving too 
slowly in getting up. After reveille, Paul 
alone was taken out of the compartment 
by an escort who had read this note in the 
C.C.U. log: "Trerice displays very little 
interest in the program. . . . Dog him.” 

0520 hours. On his way to the chow 
hall, where he would help serve breakfast, 
cook Kevin Daly heard Paul sound off 
“Excuse this awardee, Petty Officer!” He 
turned a corner and there was Paul, ten 
fect away, performing push-ups. “Five, 
Petty Officer! Six, Petty Officer!” He 
was drenched with sweat. 

“I couldn't believe it,” said Daly later. 
"I'd never seen the C.C.U. awardees exer- 
cised before breakfast. It just wasn't done. 
I couldn't figure out what Paul had done 
wrong." 


0615 hours. The other awardees had ar- 
rived 15 minutes earlier. Daly was wor- 
ried when he saw that Paul wasn't among 
them. But then he arrived in the escort of a 
C.C.U. petty officer, who ordered him to 
lock up. A moment later, Paul reached up 
and wiped sweat off his brow. Two escorts 
were on him immediately, cach pulling 
hard on an arm, yelling at him. Finally, he 
was allowed in the chow line, instructed to 
say nothing to the cooks but simply to put 
his tray out when he wanted something. 

Daly was working the large egg skillet, 
and when Paul reached hirn, he saw that 
his buddy had a single piece of French 
toast and a sausage on his tray. His clothes 
were wet with sweat and he looked ill. 

"Paul" Daly whispered, “you got to 
eat more than that. I'm going to make you 
six or seven eggs." Paul was the biggest eat- 
er Daly had ever seen. He regularly ate 
five eggs with ham, bacon, potatoes and 
toast for breakfast 


“What's going on down there?” asked 
Daly. 

“I can't believe it,” answered Paul, 
speaking softly out of the corner of his 
mouth. "You wouldn't believe how they're 
dogging me!” 

Suddenly, a petty officer ran over and 
screamed, “Awardee! I said no talking! 
Out of the chow line!” 

“Hey, what about his eggs?” protested 
Daly. 

The escort ignored the cook. “Out of 
line, awardee!” Paul joined the other 
awardees, but it’s doubtful he was able to 
eat any of his meager meal. 

0730 hours. The awardees were taken 
onto the flight deck for regular morning 
Р.Т. Everyone made four laps around the 
1000-foot-long flight deck. Paul was re- 
quired to do two extra laps “to help get 
him into condition.” Jumping jacks came 
next, followed by push-ups and arm rota- 
tions, with arms outstretched at the sides 


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PLAYBOY 


and parallel to the deck. That was always 
a difficult exercise for Paul, because his 
arms were so large. His arms began to 
droop and the awardee behind him placed 
his arms under Paul's to help. But soon the 
extra effort became too much. 

Paul finally dropped He 
looked pale and was shal “This 
awardee tanit do any more Pe ONET 
he said weakly. 

“Break!” the petty officer yelled at him. 
Instead of waiting for him to hit the deck 
on his own, the escort shoved him hard 
from behind, causing him to sprawl for- 
ward onto the deck, which was covered 
with a rough, nonskid coating. He im- 
mediately assumed the break position, 
placing his forehead and his nose flat on 
the hot surface. 

Paul voluntarily rejoined the group and 
went back to performing exercises. But he 
soon stopped and was again put into the 
break position on the deck. 

0830 hours. Paul was allowed of the 
deck and was told to rejoin the group. He 
was obviously not feeling well. His lips 
looked as white as his teeth. While the 
other awardees were allowed to drink 
water, Paul was not, because he ha 
Completed his exercises 

0845 hours. Back in the berthing com- 
partment, the awardees began undressing 
for showers. Paul staggered and looked as 
ifhe might pass out. “I feel like I'm going 
to die," he said. “I need to go to medical" 

“After you shower.” 

“Please let me have some water.” 

“Break!” yelled the escort. 

Paul stumbled but managed to get down 
onto the deck. 

“You cannot have water, because you 
did nothing to earn it,” said the petty 
officer. “You did not complete P.T.” 

0850 hours. Coffman entered the 
C.C.U. berthing area and spoke with Paul. 
He asked him why he had not done all the 
exercises. 

“Because I couldn't," Paul answered. 

Coffman warned him that he'd end up 
back in the brig if he didn't get with the 
program. 

“Put me in the brig,” said Paul, who 
was flushed and sweaty. “I don't care. My 
ear feels like it’s filling up with water or 
. ] have to go to medical." 

с hundred hours," 
“You take your shower and 


said Coffman. 
tell the petty officer if you want to go to 


He te ft the C.C.U., and another escort 
ordered Paul to do more exercises. “You 
do these right if you want to shower and go 
to sick call." Paul did more jumping jacks, 
squat thrusts and push-ups. Then the pet- 
ty officer told him to shower. 

0910 hours. Paul tried to get dressed, 
but he was shaking too much. He knew he 


Paul hit the deck. 

“Twenty push-ups, awardee.” 

Paul did 20 push-ups. 

“All right, give me twenty more.” 

“No,” Paul gasped, his body sh 
violently, “I have—to go to medical. 

The petty officer grabbed him by the 
shirt and shoved him against a wall locker. 
He ordered him to break again, but Paul 
was slow to respond. The petty officer tried 
to push him down and got him onto his 
knees, then shoved him face first onto the 
deck. He kicked Paul under his arm, be- 
cause it was outstretched and not in the 
required position. 

Paul began cursing and stood up shaki- 
ly. Darryl Summons, a second-class petty 
officer and a supervisor in the C.C.U., was 
called into the compartment. He asked 
what was going on. 

“This awardee’s cars hurting. This 
awardce's fingers feel numb. There's some- 
thing wrong with me, man. I feel like—I 
can't breathe,” said Paul, grabbing his 
chest. “My right ear is feeling numb.” 
ure a liar and an asshole,” said a 
petty officer. 

“I don't fucking li 
“I'm not a fucking asshole! 

“Break!” 

uck you!” 
Summons came up behind Paul and 
spun him around. Paul was shoved into 
the bulkhead. When he turned around, he 
had a wild look in his eyes. He grabbed 
Summons and lifted him off the ground. 
Slamming the petty officer into the wall 
lockers, Paul didn’t let go until two other 
petty officers jumped on top of him and be- 
gan slugging him. 

"OK, come on!” yelled Paul. “ГЇЇ take 
you all on!” 

But Paul, already in severe heatstroke, 
was outnumbered and outmuscled. After a 
five-minute struggle, he lay face down on 
the deck with his hands manacled behind 
his back. His hands were a pale blue-green 
and a petty officer was leaning heavily on 
his back. Another escort called for leg 
irons. By the time they arrived, Paul was 
only groaning and grunting. 

When he was raised to his knees, Paul's 
eyes were open and had a blank stare. His 
lips and his nose were turning blue. His 
pupils went from tiny to large almost in- 
stantly. left eve started moving errati- 
cally. His lips were drawn back and his 
tecth were bared and clenched. 

“He looks like he's all right,” said one 
petty officer. "He's just unconscious or 
ing it.” 

A bucket of water was thrown in Paul’s 
face, but it had no effect. 

“Open your cyes. We know you're jok- 
ing. We've seen it all befor 

“I don't know,” said am 
officer. "He's really burning uj 

A second bucket of water was thrown in 
his face, 

Foamy white saliva formed around 
Paul's teeth and lips, then began dripping 


screamed Paul. 


down the corners of his mouth. 

“Не? foaming at the mouth,” someone 
said. "He's not breathing. He's burning 
up. Call medical.” 

0920 hours. Cardiopulmonary resus- 
citation on Paul was begun by a corpsman 
who arrived on the scene five minutes after. 
he was called but without any equipment. 
He immediately asked that a doctor be 
called. Twenty minutes later, the first 
doctor arrived at the C.C.U. 

0915 hours. An intravenous solution 
was administered. Paul's pupils were di- 
lated. 

0950 hours. An E.K.G. revealed a flat 
line. C.P. R. continued. 

1012 hours. Paul's temperature rectally 
was 108 degrees on a thermometer that 
registered no higher. 

1013 hours. Pulse, 75 and irregular. 
Paul, showing that he, indeed, had the 
heart of a lion, was coming back from the 
heart attack. 

1019 hours. Temperature, 107.4 degrees. 
No respiratory effort. 

1024 hours. 1.У. push. 

1036 hours. Cardiac standstill. Paul had 
suffered his second heart attack. С.Р.К. re- 
started. Temperature, 105.5 degrees. 

1052 hours. Cardiac shock, 400 watts. 

1058 hours. Cardiac shock, 400 watts. 

1100 hours. Temperature, 105 degrees. 

1108 hours. Cardiac shock, 400 watts. 

1115 hours. No response. Paul's pupils 
were dilated and there was no cardiac 
activity. He was pronounced dead. 

б 

The Navy's investigation was only one 
step—though a large one—in Bill's quest. 
It gave him some solace, since the report 
prepared by the Office of the Judge Advo- 
cate General stated, “Airman Recruit Trer- 
ice’s death resulted from a combination of 
judgment, dereliction of duty, 
п! that rises to the level of negli- 
gence and culpable negligence.” However, 
Bill still found the military bureaucracy a 
formidable opponent. 

The Navy charged 28 Ranger crew- 
men—most of them C.C.U. petty 
officers—with various acts of misconduct, 
including maltreatment, assault and man- 
slaughter. Even the ship’s top command 
was not exempt. Pedersen, Captain Lec B. 
Cargill, the second-in-command, and 
Lieutenant Comer Williams, the officer 
directly in cha of the C.C.U., faced 
charges of dereliction of duties. 

At least for a short while, Bill could in- 
dulge himself in the thought that the men 
he believed had killed his son would come 
to justice, But when the San Diego court- 
martial proceedings were over, all those 
implicated in Paul's death were acquitted, 
except one. The lone conviction came 
against Darryl Summons, the supervisor 
in the C.C.U. when Paul died. Summons 
was convicted of maltreatment and sim- 
ple assault and was sentenced to 90 


days’ hard labor. He served cight days be- 
fore receiving an honorable discharge. 
Four others were court-martialed for 
charges unrelated to Paul's death. 

“I wasn't surprised,” says Bill in retro- 
spect. “I knew the Navy wasn't going to 
convict a lot of its own people. The only 
reason it even. put them on trial was be- 
cause of all the heat it was taking” 

Attomey Kelley explains, "Bill con- 
fronted the Navy's unwritten policy of not 
nctifying parents and family of unpleasant 
facts concerning the deaths of loved ones. 

ich philosophically may sound accept- 
n practice, what was happening. 
was that the Navy was intentionally with 
holding information to the extent of misin- 
forming the family." 

Kelley is still pursuing aspects of the 
Trerice case in civilian courts. He filed a 
wrongful-death suit against the Navy. 
While a Federal judge decided that the 
y itself couldn't be sued, he did allow 
en, Coffman and Summons to re- 
main as defendants, which will make the 
case something of a landmark if it is tried. 
In the event that Trerice and Kelley are 
successful, their victory will allow civilians 
to sue members of the military for a 
wrongful death. “I don't think this coun- 
wy can afford to have a military that at 
some point isn't accountable," maintains 
Kelley. "Our constitutional safcguar 
protect all citizens, even Navy scamen.” 

Another suit asks for compensation from 
the Navy for the unconscionable delay in 
returning Paul's organs. “I want mothers 
and fathers on that jury who would be, I'm 
sure, appalled by what the Navy did to the 
bedy of Bill Trerice’s son,” says Kelley 

"Don't think I'm out to get rich on this 
legal stuff,” Bill says. “Do you know what 
Id consider а victory? A dime, because 
that would mean that the Navy was to 
blame for Paul's death. That is what 1 
want. Paul's death was caused by some en- 
listed men who abused their power and by 
officers who failed to see what was going 
on. No one man was responsible. The 
{ауу was responsible. 
That victory is a long way off, if it ever 
arrives at all. Still, Bill has some triumphis 
to savor, 

His crus 


ade and the prize-winning work 
of The Detroit News made possible some 
long-awaited answers, if not comfort, for 
several other families who had lost sons in 
the Nayy under mysterious circumstanees. 
inally releasing information it had kept 
from the families for monik 
cases even years—the Navy had to take a 
long, hard look at the events and policies 
that contributed to Paul's death. 

The Navy's investigation into the Rang- 
ers correctional facilities uncovered 
countless allegations of maltreatment 
ranging from merciless humiliation to tor- 
ture. One recruit told of being stripped 
ed, shoved and slapped around the 


—in some 


berthing compartment until his skin was 
red, Another claimed he had had his 
hands cuffed behind his back by a correc- 
tional officer who then stepped on his head 
and twisted his arms into a position so 
painful the recruit had cried. Yet another 
sailor reported that he had been shoved 
into the lockers and to the deck by several 
petty officers and a Marine brig guard 
with such force and frequency that he 


needed stitches three times in four days 
and broke eight teeth, Other 
confined to the brig claimed they had been 
denied head call, for 


wardees 


g them to urinate 
or defecate in their cells. Medical records 
yielded similar reports—cases of chipped 
teeth, broken noses and, in one instance, a 
sailor who was covered with bruises over 
60 percent of his body. More importantly 
ous cases of heat disorde 


seven previ wer 
listed 


The results of the investi 
The Navy's Pacific 


ation were 


alarming leet com- 


1 reviewed the findings and 
One disturbing factor about this 
- is that this type of activity could 
go on in the midst of other personnel . . . 
who should have known what was happen- 
ing was not right . . . particularly medical 
oflicers, who knew of many bruises, contu- 
sions and heat-injury cases originating in 
the [C.C.U.]. 

Although Bill would never be satis- 
fied, his work accomplished something 
meaningful, something Paul would have 
been proud of. As a result of the investiga- 
tion, the Navy issued a comprehensive 
policy manual standardizing administra- 
tion of all Navy correctional units and 
closed all shipboard C.C.U.s 
new guidelines could be put into practice. 

“Maybe we saved the life of someone 
else's boy,” Bill says. “Too bad it was too 


late for mine.” 


wrote, 
Case . . 


until those 


“You know, Joe, you and I should be grateful 


that we aren't young anymore. With k 


ds today, 


sex is such an accepted thing that it’s become almost 


meaningless to the lucky bastare 


191 


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Kawasaki has painted its incredible 
Zx750-A1 a discreet firecracker red. 
Maybe the highway patrol will think 
you're a brush fire, The bike has Uni- 


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GEAR 
A LITTLE MORE TRAVELING MUSIC, PLEASE 


ow that we've all gotten over the fact that great stereo 
fidelity can come out of a box not much bigger than a 
cigarette pack, the men who let you take the music 
with you are thinking of ways to further improve port- 
able sound. Some second-generation personal stereos can be 
recharged, Others have miniature video games built in 
(perhaps in case you twist your ankle in the park and want 


something to play with while you're waiting for an ambu- 
lance), act as the guts ime with detachable 


speakers for social listening. There are even models built for 
speed as well as for comfort—units that contain an antivibra- 
tion feature that cushions the mechanism from the punish- 
mentand the loss of audio fidelity brought about by a jogger's 
pounding feet. We'd say the aural fixation is with us to stay. 


Right: Toshiba America's Model KT-AS1 features 
auto reverse that lets the listener hear both sides 
of a tape without having to turn it over and an 
antiroll device that prevents sound distortion while 
jogging, $149.95. Far right: Sanyo's RP77 Sportster 
personal stereo links an AM/FM radio and an LCD 
basketball game with sound effects that can be 
heard through the unit's headphones, $49.95. 


Above: Ease on down the sidewalk—or the 
road—with the Music Shuttle XRM-10 pei 
sonal stereo/car stereo that mates an in-dash 
AM/FM stereo receiver with a portable cas- 
sette player that pops out to become your 
personal stereo, by Sony, $379.95. Above 
ight: The HS-JO2 AM/FM personal cassette 
stereo with auto reverse can record stereo 
right off the air or with a special three-sided 
microphone, $180; room listening is possible 
with two optional SC-A1 speakers, $65 a pair, 
all by Aiwa. Right: A minisized MF-3G FM 
stereo receiver, by Besser, $59.95. Below 
right: The Panasonic Way RQ-WJ1 personal 
stereo features an antiroll mechanism and a 
unique on/off switch that’s mounted on the 
headphone cord, $109. Below: Sharp's QT-19 
AM/FM stereo and cassette player can be 
used as a total or personal stereo, $229.95. 


Step up in taste, 
istep down in tar 


) O.8mg-nie 


e Surgeon General Has Determined 
te Smoking 15 Dangerous to Your Health. 


PLAYBOY'S ROVING EYE 


Sonia's Choice 


Twenty-five million people saw Sonia titillation but a central human energy. 
Braga in the Brazilian film Dona Flor At a time when sex has become (like 
and Her Two Husbands. Somewherein ^ everything else) a Problem, Braga 
the world, people are still reasserts it as a power and 
standing in line to see her a glory."The critic from the 
1981 hit / Love You (Eu Te LA. Times also rose to the 
Amo), a Brazilian sex com- occasion: “Brazil's Soni 
edy made all the more Braga is the international 
remarkable by Sonia's star who comes along once 
casual disregard for her in a decade, perhaps even 
wardrobe. Critics and au- in a generation. She com- 
diences reacted to the new bines a blinding sexuality, a 
star. Normally comatose dark, distinctive beauty, 
Newsweek gave her this talent and intelligence with 
accolade: “Ata time when wit, style and personality.” 
the bombshell has been If you thought ЕЛ. was 
largely replaced by the WEE cute, take a look at these 
bimbo, Sonia Braga, pictures. Then go to the 
EMILIO LAR (5) Brazil's biggest star, is a true sex god- end of the line around the block of 
dess: a dynamic and delicate actress whatever theater is showing Gabriela, 
whose sexuality is neither a tactic nora ег first film made with U.S. financing. 


ANTONIO GUERRERO 


Gabriela is directed by Bruno Barreto (the director of Dona Flor) and stars Braga 
and Marcello Mastroianni. As you can see from the shots at left, it is a tender love 
story that depicts the traditions of a small Brazilian village, a delicate exploration of 
dass struggle and womanhood. The film and a TV series preceding it are based on 
Jorge Amado's novel Gabriela, Clove and Cinnamon. See you at the theater. 


RAPEVINE 


Less Is Moore 
It's not that we feel that DUDLEY MOORE has suffered from a lack of 
publicity. We just like this photo. Moore is about as busy as one actor can be 


and has just completed a remake of the Preston Sturges classic Unfaithfully 
Yours, co-starring Nastassia Kinski. Dudley grows in each new role. 


à 
8 
8 
E 


SICOTT — + RULER 


Have You 
Driven a 
Ford Lately? 


Rocker LITA FORD, 
former member of 
The Runaways, now 
has a solo album 
(Out for Blood). 
We have just two 
questions: Does 
she share a tai- 
lor with Gene 
Simmons? 
"What does 
the message 
on her gui- 
tar mean 
Royal Salute for ust 
Remember the old joke about 
(Monaco’s) PRINCE ALBERT in the 
can? Well, here's what you get 
when you let him out. P.S.: That's 
his dad on the left. 


RICHARD YOUNG/RETNA LTD. 


What Becomes a Legend Most? 
Here's a moment from ELTON's 36th-birthday bash. 
He didn't know it, but robbers were soon to ransack 
his Buckinghamshire digs. They got away with a load 
of jewelry despite three alarm systems. Diamonds 
aren't forever. 


3 
= 
2 
E 
Е 


е 1983 LYNN GDLDSMITH/LGI 


It's a Boy! 
For those of you who just listen to the radio, this is 
BOY GEORGE, leader of the currently hot group. 
Culture Club, checking out his stage mufti before 
venturing out to wow the crowd. We knew it was 
just a matter of time before full drag took over the 
rock clubs. If Dustin Hoffman and Robin Williams 
сап do it, well... . 


© 1985 JOHN SANCHEZ 


A Walk on 
the Wild Side 


Legendary rocker STEVE 
WINWOOD recently took a 
stroll down the Great White 
Way to check out the raunch 
on Broadway. His last solo 
effort, Talking Back to the 
Night, is not to be confused 
with the feminist effort to 
Take Back the Night. 


Just Another 
Profile in 
Courage 

Actress CHERYL MAL- 

LINOF has been on a 

couple of TV shows 

(with more clothes than 

this). She's working on 

а youth-oriented fea- 

ture film in which every- 

one's hormones go Ё 

crazy. Cheryl's having 

that effect on us, too. 


CONTRACEPTIVE WIPE-UPS: 
UNFORTUNATELY, THESE WON'T 
FIT INTO YOUR WALLET 


We'll admit that when we first heard 
about contraceptive sponges a few years 
ago, we thought they were some remedy 
from a seaside Stone Age culture. 
Sponges? Since 1976, however, the 
evidence has been mounting that 
sponges could be the contraceptive 
godsend of the Eighties. And as of 
September, thanks to the FDA's recent 
approval, they'll be on drugstore 
shelves—you won't even have toask the 
pharmacist for them. Under the brand 
name Today Vaginal Contraceptive 
Sponge, they will be sold three toa pack- 
age for about three dollars. Each of the 
polyurethane squeezies will be good for 
24 hours. 

How good are they? The manufac- 
turer, VLI Corporation, puts their efficacy 
rate at 85 percent, or about the same as 
that fora diaphragm with spermicide. То 
use the sponge, a woman simply wets it 
with water and inserts it into the vagina 
with her fingers. A cavalier man may 
want to assist in this procedure—though, 
since the sponge works all day, his date 
will likely have inserted it long before 
matters proceed to the bedroom. Later, 
it is removed by an attached string and is. 
thrown away 
The sponge works in three ways: It 
kills sperm with a self-contained dose of 


nonoxynol-9, the spermicide common 
to most contraceptive creams, foams 
and jellies; it blocks sperm from entering 
the cervix; it absorbs excess semen, 


leaving fewer sperm free to make their Ш 


cervical entry. 
Aside from its effectiveness, con- 
venience is a major advantage of this 


product, We've already mentioned its Y 


compatibility with the delicacies of 
timing. Also, one size fits all women, 
eliminating a doctors prescription. 
There is no need to pack in a supply of 
spermicidal cream, foam or jelly—the 
sponge fits in the palm of your hand and 
it can be used for multiple acts of inter- 
course. There have been no reports of 
serious side effects, and clinical trials 
have indicated that most couples dont 
even feelit. Some even claim thatit feels. 
the same as vaginal tissue. 

The sponge is already widely used in 
Europe and ought to find an enthusiastic 
reception here. It sounds safe, useful 
and convenient and provides women 
with a good excuse for carrying a 
handbag. 


NEW DATING GAME: 
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES 


This may go down in history as the 
greatest by-product of Government re- 
search since the space race begot the 
high-tech look: The manwho developed 


Alexis Home Parties 
will show you all this 
and more in your own 
home, or you can shop 
by тай, Right The 
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jump suit for all occa- 
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SEX NEWS кы 


button arrived at our office, we 

ight, who's the comedian?" 
Naturally, it's Robin Williams, whose 
new record, Throbbing Python of Love, is 
a real crusher but doesn’t lay any eggs. 


the voice-analyzed lie detector for the 
Army has now invented a love detector 
that works over the telephone. Fred 
Fuller created his original voice-stress 
analyzer while working for ITT on proj- 
ects intended for the space program. 
Later, working for the military, Fuller 
developed his lie detector, which is 
superior to the polygraph in that the sus- 
pect doesn't even have to be present, let 
alone wired. Now he's applied the same 
principle to a dating service. 

What caused Fuller to turn his atten- 
tion to romance? “A divorce," he said. “1 
started dating again and I was looking for 
a way to cut through all the crap. | had 
started my own company and had 
developed a voice-analyzed personnel 
profile that dozens of corporations were 
using to measure whether or not pro- 
spective employees were well suited to 
specific jobs. | made a slew of refine- 
ments, and the result was a dating- 
compatibility profile that measured 
whether or not a prospective lover was 
tight fora particular person. It worked so 
well | decided to take it public.” 

In order to use the system, a couple 
must dial 1-800-526-1363 and answer 
separately some yes-or-no questions. It 
doesn't matter whether or not you tell 
the truth, since Fuller's high-tech yenta 
will ferret out how you're really feeling. 
The charge is $35 for two (billed to your 
Visa or MasterCard), and within 48 
hours you'll be mailed а voice-analyzed 
computer-generated report that tells in 
percentage points how well matched 
the two of you are in such areas as sex, 
dependability, commitment, religion, 
leisure activities and even love. 

Fuller claims a high degree of success. 
What constitutes success? We suppose 
that depends on your goals. Fuller 
is still single. Ej 


"Nopain,nogain-" 


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PLAYBOY 


Fourex 
feels 
like a 

second 
skin. 

Because 
it Is. 


A Fourex® Natural con- 
dom is just what the name 
says; Natural. 

Each Fourex is made from. 
pure natural Lamb mem- 
brane. A superior heat con- 
ductor. Fourex is so good, so. 


natural, you'll forget there 
is anything between you 
and her— except warmth. 

And you're not the only 
one who'll appreciate the 
extra sensitivity of Fourex. 
She will too. 

Naturally Fourex is more 
expensive than other con- 
doms, bur we are sure you'll 
find Fourex worth every 
penny. After all, it is the 
best selling natural condom 
you can buy and preferred 
by more men than any 
other brand. So we suggest 
you try it, because once you 
do, you may never settle for 
another condom again. 


EOUREX 


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NEXT MONTH: 


THE SANDINISTAS, NICARAGUAS REVOLUTIONARY LEADERS, 
SPEAK OUT ON THE US. "WAR" AGAINST THEM, THEIR TIES TO 
CUBA AND RUSSIA, THEIR PLANS FOR CENTRAL AMERICA AND 
THEIR PERSONAL LIVES IN A RARE PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


"DOTTING I'S WITH MR. T"—AN UNFORGETTABLE SLICE OF THE 
LIFE OF THE EX-BOUNCER TURNED MOVIE STAR TURNED HERO 
OF THE A TEAM—EY D. KEITH MANO 


"GIRLS OF THE ATLANTIC COAST CONFERENCE"—CHECKING 
OUT THE LOVELIES WHO MAKE POINTS WITH THE GUYS WHO 
SCORE GRIDIRON POINTS ON THE EASTERN SEABOARD 


“PLAYBOY'S PIGSKIN PREVIEW"—OUH FAVORITE ARMCHAIR 
QUARTERBACK MAKES ANOTHER SERIES OF CONFERENCE 
CALLS TO PREDICT THE COLLEGE CHAMPS—BY ANSON MOUNT 


“WHIZ KIDS"—AT MIT, THE CREAM OF THIS COUNTRY’S YOUNG 
TECHNOBRATS IS BUSY PREPARING FOR LIFE IN THE NEW FAST 
LANE—BY CRAIG VETTER. PLUS: “WHERE DO YOU FIT IN THE 
POSTINDUSTRIAL WORLD?'"—HINT: IF YOUR GAME IS GOLF, 
YOU'RE INDUSTRIAL. IF IT'S RACQUETBALL, YOU'RE POST-. A 
CULTURE-SHOCK CHART 


“BRUNETTE AMBITION'—REMEMBER THE BROUHAHA OVER 
LORETTA MARTIN'S HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK? SHE WANTED TO 
APPEAR IN PLAYBOY, BUT THE POWERS THAT BE WOULDN'T 
PRINT THAT. NOW LORETTA GETS HER WISH, FOR REAL 


"DORIT STEVENS"—SHE'S A TOP MODEL AND SHE'S ABSOLUTE- 
LY GORGEOUS. SEE FOR YOURSELF WHAT THE FUSS IS ABOUT. 


“NO TRADE"—A YARN ABOUT BASEBALL AS IT IS TODAY: CASEY 
AT THE BAT IT AIN'T—BY JAMES HOWARD KUNSTLER 


RANDY NEWMAN TALKS ABOUT HIS FAVORITE MOVIE SCORES, 
HIS P.T.A. MEMBERSHIP AND WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE A PUNK- 
ROCKER SON IN A SNAPPY “20 QUESTIONS" 


“QUARTERLY REPORTS: RICH MAN, POOR MAN"—FURTHER EVI- 
DENCE THAT HAPPINESS CANT BUY MONEY—BY ANDREW TOBIAS. 


TOYOTA 


ӨП av. per cigarette by FTC method. 
& Р 


Warning: The Surgeon General Has Determined 
te Smoking Is Dangerous to Your Health.