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PLAYBOY

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN AUGUST 1988 • $4.00

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| ed THE GREAT

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Dun € BY ROBERT

COVER GIRL SCHEER

KIMBERLEY

CONRAD

THE NEW WOMAN
IN HEF'S LIFE

| |

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f style.
99 Sa Ne made the
the wo e
ott isthe world's
nothing less.

When ordering vodka, coll for the best—Smimnoff, SMIRNOFF= VODKA B0 100 Proof distilled from
the finest grain. © 1987 Ste Plerre Smirnoff FLS (Division of Heubiein. Inc) Hartford. CT-Mode in USA.

you renk vs, are these grounds for a lawsuit? A young woman
gives up all the glamor that defines life in Canada to move into a
mansion in Holmby Hills. Servants are put at her beck and call
and shes wrapped in haute couture, introduced to the rich and

famous and launched in a modeling carcer. If that doesn't sound

like intolerable cruelty to you, you have something in common
with Playboy Editor and Publislier Hugh M. Hefner thc target ol a
$35,000,000 palimony cooked up by his ex-lover Carrie

Leigh and supported by her divorcing-for-dollars lawyer Marvin
Mitchelson. The full story is told in The Great Palimony Caper, we
might have called it Cash 'n Carrie.

On a happier note, Kimberley Conrad—a.k.a. M January
1988—is now at Hef's side and on the cover of this issue, demon-
strating that life, love and Playboy carry on.

While we wouldn't exactly call Mikhail Gorbachev sexy, he, 100, is
a welcome new presence, if only for the fact that he's the first So-
viet leader in recent memory who doesnt seem to be rehearsing
for his own funeral. Robert Scheer, veteran reporter on the Soviet
scene, spent months interviewing Gorbys new crew of licu-
tenants, and in Then Came Gorbachev (illustrated by Kinuko Y.
Craft), he sounds a Red alert for change.

The Soviets dont run the only mysterious empire on carth
There's another one that also sends mixed messages. Were talk-
ing about the empire of women, of course, and we have some tips
on how to... er... penetrate it. In A Mans Guide lo Women’s
Magazines, Articles Editor John Rezek, writer Ben Pesta and Edito-
rial Assistant Trish Wend (our spy) decode the signals sent out by
Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Ms. and New Woman to uncover the sexual
preferences of modern women. Hot tip number one: If you see
Cosmo on the coffee table, she may not be wearing underpants.
Another perspective on women is provided by Harry Turtledove’s
short story The Girl Who Took Lessons, illustrated by Dennis Mukai
Hot tip number two: If she's taking a class, she may not have any.
And Robert Silverberg's story The Dead Mans Eyes looks hard at the
risks of killing your wile's lover. Hot tip number three: Dont—at
feast not when he's looking.

This month's Playboy Interview features Harvey Fierstein, the
man whose play Torch Song Trilogy brought gay lo Broadway, In
his conversation with Harry Stein, Fierstein sounds oll on AIDS.
the search for Mr. Right and the sexual preferences of the Iran/
Contra conspirators.

For your minimum monthly dose of testosterone, turn to The
Man Who Created Rambo (illustrated by Roy Pendleton), where
First Blood novelist David Morrell defends his creation John Rambo
against critical snipers who say there's no heart under those rip-
pling pecs, no brain beneath the bandanna.

We also offer a range of sporting activities in this issue, from
fishing for trout to fishing for compliments to fomenting revolt
tion. In Lords of the Flies (illustrated by the unflagging Kinuko Y.
Craft), Geoffrey Norman plunges into the hottest sport in cool
streams—fly-fishing—while the star of Platoon slides into a ma-
jor-league fashion look in Charlie Sheen Plays Ball, shot by Con-
tnbuting Photographer Richard Fegley, who also aimed his
cameras at this month's Playmate, Helle Michelsen. You say you
want a sporting revolution? Harry Edwerds—the man hired 10
boost mino! in baseball—gives Robert S. Wieder blistering
takes on racism in sports and the failure of America's black le;
cluding Jesse) in a hot 20 Questions.

V book a reservation with Tom Pas-

Was Cool, an off-season guide and a memoir, respectively, that
prove that the fun has just begun when the snow melts on the
Rocky Mountain high slopes.
And afier you've finished dally
of Colorado, check out the stunn
cles, scenic curves—captured by Contributing Photographer Arny
Freytog in The Sunshine Girls, a scintillating s on with
five Playmates. Its worth the climb. Why? Because it’s bare. Enjoy

ying among the peaks and valleys
ng geography—soaring pinna-

PLAYBILL

MURAL

MORRELL PENDLETON

FEGLEY

WIEDER FREYTAG

Only Sony could turn this simple idea
into the most advanced CD changer around.

When Sony set out to create the world's most
sophisticated CD changer, we looked no further
than the carousel. A classic engineering design
that has provided countless hours of entertainment
for millions.

The result is the new Sony CDP-C70
DiscJockey“ CD changer.

(e) Its unique 5-disc carousel
- design uses less parts than
conventional "magazine" type
^ models. So not only do you get
more reliable performance
but the fastest disc to disc
access time of any CD changer
in the industry

Which means spending a lot less time loading
and unloading your discs. And more time listening.

The CDP-C70 also comes with the ultimate in
convenience features. Like our exclusive Custom
File Display. It remembers the location and
title of each disc you've loaded into your
CD changer. For up to 226 different discs!
Whats more, the C70 even lets you play
the newest 3 inch discs without the need of
an adapter. Add to this, 32 selection program
mability and random track “Shuffle Play" and you'll
have the maximum enjoyment of your

music. But the real beauty of these features is that
they both can be controlled from the comfort of
your chair with the supplied Remote Commander‘
Of course, the CDP-C70 is also endowed with
some of the most sophisticated technology you've
come to expect from The Leader in Digital Audio.
Such as а 4x oversampling digital filter and dual
D/A converters, for superb music reproduction.
Usually, most CD changers try to strike a bal-
ance between reliability convenience and perform-
ance. But thanks
to its ingenious © О NY.
design, only the
Sony CDP-C70
delivers.

THE LEADER IN DIGITAL AUDIO“

PLAYBOY

vol. 35, no. 8—august 1988 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
1
7
n
O ME d ues his DAN JENKINS 22
MENE ое ee Soon anden ...... ASA BABER 24
WOMEN. . CYNTHIA HEIMEL 25
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR ................. » n ea
THE PLAYBOY FORUM... ees RH Nes 33
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: HARVEY FIERSTEIN—candid conversotion ................ 43
THE DEAD MAN'S EYES-— fiction. E ROBERT SILVERBERG 58
THE GREAT PALIMONY CAPER—orticle ..... s 63
THEN CAME GORBACHEV—orticle.......................... ROBERT SCHEER 70 Quick Study " P. 116
CHARLIE SHEEN PLAYS BALL fashion. .. 0.0000. 000000000000: HOLUS WAYNE 74
LORDS OF THE FLIES—modern living ............. GEOFFREY NORMAN 82
THE MAN WHO CREATED RAMBO—ori DAVID MORRELL 88
EHI pybey's RTE af Ma e а 90
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor зз a TT N
А MAN'S GUIDE TO WOMEN'S MAGAZINES—compendium.................-.. 104
20 QUESTIONS: HARRY EDWARDS... sees MO IMS нш
ASPEN WHEN IT'S HOT—trovel .......................... .TOM PASSAVANT 112
ASPEN WHEN IT WAS COOL—memoir _.................... .CRAIG VETTER. 114
THE GIRL WHO TOOK LESSONS fiction .................. HARRY TURTLEDOVE 116
THE SUNSHINE GIRIS--pictoriol.... s E 118
FAST FORWARD .................... 130
NLAYEOV ON THE EEE ¿ira E ЕЁ au ea 155 Diamonds Friend
COVER STORY

Canadian beauty Kimberley Conrad admitted to us in her January Playmate
story that she had a soft spot in her heart for American men. She has certainly
captured the attention of one such man: Kimberley has become the new
women in Hef's life. The cover was photographed by Contributing Photog-
rapher Stephen Wayda and produced by West Coast Photo Editor Mari-
lyn Grabowski. You'll find a pocketful of miracles when you spot the hare.

/DECOURCY TAYLOR. Р. тз: DAN YACCARINO. P. 21: HARUM.
CLUB BINDIN CARD BETWEEN PAGES 16-17 IN ALL DOMESTIC COPIES, PRINTED IN U.S.A. 3

PLAYBOY

IF YOU'RE LOSING HAIR,

EVERY DAY YOU WAIT
IS AMISIAKE

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an accepted fact of life.
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thus decreasing hair loss.

79% of those testing Vivagen experienced a
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They reported “more hair,” “fuller hair,”
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It's true there is no cure for baldness,
no restorative for lost hair.
But there is hope for thinning hair.

DON’T LOSE ANOTHER MINUTE.
CALL 1-800-542-REDKEN

You'll learn where to find Vivagen locally.
Or ask for it at your own salon.

REDKEN

PLAYBOY

HUGH M. HEFNER
editor and publisher

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
and associale publisher
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor

AEBLER art director
GARY COLE photography director
BARRY GOLSON executive editor

EDITORIAL
ARTICLES: JOHN REZEK editor; PETER MOORE asso
ciate editor; FICTION: ALICE K. TURNER editor
MODERN LIVING: DAWID STEVENS senior editor;
ED WALKER associate editor; PHILLIP COOPER assist
ant editor; FORUM: tt сн associate edi
lor; WEST COAST: STEPHEN RANDALL editor;
STAFF: GRETCHEN EDGREN senior edil

ETERSEN senior staff writer; BRUCE KLL

BARA NELLIS, RATE NOLAN associate edilo

KLINE traffic coordinator, FASHION: HOLLIS
WAYNE editor; CARTOONS: MICHELLE URRY editor;
COPY: ARLENE BOURASedilor; LAURIE ROGERS assist

NASH, JACKIE SLOANE MARY ZION Peseachers:
TRIBUTING EDITORS: ASA PABER, E. JEAN CAR
ROLL, KEVIN COOK, LAURENCE s
GROBEL. CYNTHIA HEIMEL. Wil

KON REAGAN, DAVID
RHODES, DAVID SHEFE DAVID STA
WILLIAMSON (Movies), SUSAN MARGOLIS-WINTER.
HILL ZEHME

AR
КЕКС Pore managing director; CHET SUSKI. LEN
WILLIS senior directors; BRUCE HANSEN associate
director; JOSEPH FACZER assistant director; DEBBI
KONG. KEN OVRYN, ERIC SHROPSHIRE НОТ икн
ANN SEIDL senior keyline and paste-up ar
RENNAY DANIEL REED arf assistants; BARBARA HOFF
MAN administrative manage

PHOTOGRAPHY
MARILYN GRABOWSKI west coast editor; JEFF COMEN
managing editor; LINDA KENNEY. [AMES LARSON,
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN associate editors; PATTY
BEAUDET assistant editor; POMPEO POSAR senior
staf] photographer; кенку MORRIS staff photog-
rapher; DAVID CHAN RICHARD FEGLEY, ARNY
FREYTAG. RICHARD IZUI, DAVID MECEY, BYRON
NEWMAN, STEPHEN WAYDA contributing. photogra-
phers; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; STEVE LEVITT color
lab supervisor; JOHN coss business manag

PRODUCTION

JOHN MASTRO director; MARIA MANDIS manager;
ELEANORE WAGNER, JODY JURGETO, RICHARD
QUARTAROLI, RITA JOHNSON assistan

READER SERVICE

CYNTHIA LACEYSIKICH manager; LINDA STROM,
MIKE OSTROWSKI corresponde

CIRCULATION
RICHARD SMITH director; BARBARA GUTMAN associ:
ate director

ADVERTISIN
MICHAEL T CARR advertising director; ZOE AQUILLA
midwest manager; JAMES J ARCHAMBAULT, JR. new
york manager; KOKERY TRAMONDO cal
ager; JOHN PEASLEY direct response

ADMINISTRATIVE

JUN A SCOTT president, publishing group;
J PTIMDOLMAN assistant publisher

EILEEN RENT contracts administrator; MARCIA TER
KONES rights ES permissions manager

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, IN
CHRISTIE HEFNER president

THE GREAT $1.00 MOVIE SALE
CHOOSE ANY FOUR MOVIES FOR JUST $1.00 EACH.

PLUS SHIPPING/HANDLING WITH MEMBERSHIP

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* Not Avallable In Beta ©1988 CBS Records Inc.

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BOY MIENI

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DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYBOY BUILDING
919 N. MICHIGAN AVE,
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

IN HIS HEART, HE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT

Someplace along the busy line of my
life, | have undoubtedly met Larry
(Tall It to the King, Playboy, April). There is
even a good possi that I was at the
on party he refers 10 that turned into
a pretty wild night. If I remember cor-
rectly, I didnt stay very long, but that’s not
important.

King says that we all started telling sto-
ries and that I told one about a German
girl Pd slept with five or six years before.
Now, 1 don't profess to have been a shrink-
ing violet in those days. though at my
present age, | have to admit that 1 am: but
1 my life, I've never had an experience
involving sleeping with a girl in Germany

Furthermore, the only time President
Kennedy ever called me to visit him at his
office was on the day of the Bay of Pigs. He
sent for me to ask me what I thought about
the situation. Of course, he didn't follow
my advice, but that was his business. As to
President Kennedy and I having had a
bout the girl I reportedly
cked up with, that’s a lot of nonsense.

'm sending a copy of this letter to King,
because I would hate to sce a story like this
in any book that ha publish. He has
some darned good stories to tell and
doesn't have to go around mal
I would relish hearing from him about
this, and maybe I will. I just wanted your
magazine, which I read, to know that there
never was any hanky-panky between me

»
goes, anyplace, throughout my lile.
Barry Goldwater
Scotisdale, Arizona

KING OF ALL HE PURVEYS

After reading the May issue, | want to
thank you for one of the most extraordi-
nary interviews I've ever savored in
Playboy, for in any other magazine, for that
matter). Don King thoroughly embodies
the possibility that where there's hype,
there's hope. No ор
castration, he can
bowl with, so hi

be in the strike zone, Can you imagine him
selling America from the Oval Office?

Keep waving that banner, Kingfish. The
lessons you have learned deserve more
teaching than they ve been reaching!

Larry LeBlond
Youngstown, New York

One question on the Don King Playboy
Interview. Who is this guy bullshitting?
Don Taylor
San Antonio, Texas

scorn
spersions” from the
eporter who has
written for such publications as The Sport-
ing News, Inside Sports, Sporting, The Ring,
Boxing Beat, Gallery and The Seattle Times,
among others, I find it imer
King strung me along for mon
tempt to interview him. After s
hundreds of dollars in phone bi
calling him for months as he traveled all
over the United States, I finally reached
nted to do an article on
r and on the future of boxing.
our questions deserve
to be answered, but Um in a meeting right
now, so my secretary and she will set
up a time for us to meet
When I called his secretary, she w
embarrassed, she was speechless.
Bob Arum, Mike Trainer, Howard Co-
sell, Muhammad Ali, Angelo Dundee, Joe
Frazier, Jane Fonda, Burt Reynolds and
Jesse Jackson are just a few of the people
aken time out of their lives to
But Don King? No
t he is a brill
moter, but no one likes to be jacked
and lied to. Thanks a lot, Don.

Hs enough to make your hair sland on end,
isn't it, Bill?

RECALLING GENERAL MOTORS
As an hourly worker at General Motors,
1 found Albert Lee's article, High Noon at

Gast COAST PERRINE, FOX A PERKINS. S203 OCEAN Pann BOULEVARD, SUITE Tex SANTA MONICA, CALFORIA OSES

JOIN NOW

Preferred

123 45b 189
JOHN BRESSLER
Zi MON B6 шг 198

Enjoy substantial dis-
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The Playboy Preferred card gives
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You'll even be guaranteed as
much as 60% off newsstand price
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And the benefits will go on
and on.

Throughout the year, you'll con-
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Send a check in the amount of
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Program, P.O. Box 1387, Elk
Grove Village, Illinois 600C9-
1387. Or call TOLL-FREE and
charge your membership. 1-800-
228-4018.

PLAYBOY, PLAYBOY PREFERRED und RABBIT
HEAD Design ere trademarks of Playboy.

PLAYBOY

G.M. (Playboy, May), to be right on target.
There are two very diflerent worlds at
G.M.: the front office and the factory. Peo-
ple in the factory are well aware of the
outright contempt some of the higher
white-collar workers have for manual
laborers.

There is one irony that Lee doesn’t note,
probably because he is unaware of it. If an
hourly worker makes a mistake that results
in a substantial monetary loss (such as not
checking parts while a machine is run
ning, causing perhaps thousands of dollars
of scrapped parts), the employee can be
suspended from work without pay for a
varied amount of time, depending on the
circumstances. Roger Smith, on the other
hand, can make a three-billion-dollar
blunder and, as his punishment, give hi
self a megabuck bonus.

Management talks about sharing the
pain and the rewards, but the glaring real-
ity is that only certain members of the
team get rewarded, while the rest actually
lose through concessions in pay and bene-
fits. Employee participation and teamwork
don't have to be taught to anyone. They
will come about automatically when people
understand, not by words but through ex-
ample, that their ideas and work are truly
appreciated. That is something of which
Ross Perot has a very good understanding.
His departure was a sad loss to G.M. and
its employees.

Lawrence Windhauser
Rochester, New York

FIT OR MYTH?

The first half of William Barry Furlong's
The Fitness Myth (Playboy, May) is a relent-
less diatribe against strenuous exeri
that, I fear, too many readers in the emerg-
ing “couch potato” era will find only too
consoling. Recently published studies per-
taining to exercise physiology confirm an
association between physical inactivity and
heightened susceptibility to atherosclerotic
coronary-artery disease. Jim Fixx did, in-
deed, probably hasten his own death by
failing to respond to the recognized warn-
ing signs of cardiovascular disease. But
given his family history of heart disease, in
the long run (pun intended), he may also
have added 20 years to his life.

Wilfred S. Kearse, Jr., M.D.
San Antonio, Texas

Tt is a shame that William Barry Fur-
long, who writes so well, never ned how
to read—numbers, at least. Only 25 per
cent of the people who jog or exercise with
equipment im to do so twice a week or
more. But then, attent ds
would not e allowed him to build a
straw house that he could then set on fire.

Furlong also objects to the fact that the
National Sporting Goods Association i
cluded children in its participation study.
If he were familiar with the literature, he

n to the

would know that fitness among children is
onc of the major concerns of the Presi-
dent’s Council on Physical Fitness.

However, the main thrust of his article is
that people who engage in exercise are un-
thinking, a gratuitous assumption about
millions of Americans (and Playboys read-
ers, as well). Furlong would apparently rec-
ommend that these unthinking Americans
spend their time sky diving rather than ex-
ercise walking; after all, the “hi-psy” re-
wards are higher.

"Thomas B. Doyle

Director, Information and Research
National Sporting Goods Association
Mount Prospect, Illinois

COMING OUT OF A DAZE

In the May Playboy After Hours, Con-
tibuting Editor Bruce Williamson says
that Spike Lees movie School Daze is
“brainless.” Allow me to disagree. Wil-
liamson obviously missed the moral mes-
sage of Daze. Lee, though perhaps too
casually, brings to the screen the silly prej-
udices that segregate blacks from one an-
other: light skin vs. dark skin, straight hair
vs. coarse hair, Greek vs. non-Greek.

“To compare School Daze to Animal House
is absurd. Animal House is a movie about a
bunch of fraternity guys running amuck.
School Daze, on the other hand, delivers a
very significant message that is as much
about collegiate life as rape is about sex. At
its end, the movie advises blacks to wake up
and stop all segregation. It is obvious that
Williamson went to the picture show, but
he missed the movie.

Darryl Harrison
New Orleans, Louisiana

ONE AND THE SAME

Actress Stacy Nix, in the May Grape-
vine, looks suspiciously like adult-hlm star
Barbara Dare. Could they be one and the

Bob Arnold
Millersburg, Ohio
Sharp eyes, Bob. Stacy Nix is Barbara
Dare.

THE FACE OF TERROR

On page MI of The Year in Movies
(Playboy, May)is a heart-shaped photo
tioned “Jason.” That is not a photo of Jason
of Friday the 13th fame. It isa photo of The
Shape, Michael Myers, from Halloween,
which launched the lovely Jamie Lee Cur-
tis to the status of queen of the horror
flicks.

Paul Wilson
Los Angeles, Califo
We close our eyes during the scary parts
opening them when Jamie Lees on screen.

MEAT THE PRESS

The writer of your May Playboy Afier
Hours item on Walters Barbeque in
Athens, Georgia, calls it “one of America’s

hippest hot spots.” Had your writer been

truly hip, he (or she) would have known
that the band listed as the Meat Puppies is,
in actuality, the Meat Puppets.
Scou De
Las Vegas, Nevada
Ah, yes, as in “the one-eyed meat puppet.”

(We're talkin’ cultured here.) Could have been
worse: We could have called it the Band of
the Hand.

DENISE'S NEW ENTERPRISE

I've been an admirer of Denise Crosby
(Star Treat, Playboy, May) ever since 1 first
noticed her on Star Trek: The Next Genera-
tion. Sure, she doesn't get to say much on
the show, but somchow, I've always felt that
she could be a hell of an actress if they gave
her a part to work with. Then I read that
her Star Tick character is being killed off
and that shes leaving the series. At the
same time, I saw her pictorial in Playboy
(thank you from the bottom of my heart).

between the two
events? Га hate to think that the Moral
Majorit y had seeped into the de-
cisi xesses of the producers
of my favorite television show.

George Howard

Los Angeles, California

No need to get your phaser cocked, George.

It was Denise's decision to leave “Star Trek,”
nol the show's producers’. Looh for her on the
big screen this fall; shes co-starring with
Mare Winningham and Anthony Edwards
in “Miracle Mile.”

CARR COVER

I have subscribed to Playboy for ten
years, and the May cover is one of my all-
time favorites.

The photo of Laurie Carr, by David
Goldner, says, in its simplicity, a thousand
words, once again proving that sometimes
less is more.

John S. Phister
Webster, Texas

7]
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DeKuypers has DeVised a cooler cooler, the Original Fuzzy Navel:
1% oz. Peachtrees Schnapps, ice and oj.in a tall glass.
Ahhh...what a refreshing DeParcher.

DeLiciousty DeKuyper

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

PARADISE LOST

Those of us who live in the city like to
believe that rural America remains un-
touched by such urban problems as crime.
Our hopes were recently shattered by
a crime spree reported in an edition of
the Monroe, Washington, Monitor Valley
News that reached our desk. Among the
heinous deeds:

A tavern owner reported that her
boyfriend had been drinking and that she
was scared of him. A dog was reported go-
ing through garbage. A generator fell off a
pickup truck; someone noticed the genera-
tor and kept it

A South Blakeley Street business report-
ed a pushy telephone salesperson. Police
assisted a motorist with a broken water
hose. A man getting a haircut at a business
on State Route Two saw a van back into his
vehicle, then take off; later, the man saw
the van and phoned police with the license-
plate number.

Suspicious persons discovered parked at
the Monroe dump were found to be “just
xing.”

А suspicious vehicle was reported be-
hind a local tavern. Suspicious circum-
stances were reported at the high school,
and an obscene phone call was placed to a
Main Street business

And we thought New York City was dan-
gerous!

ROBOGOLF

Five hundred years ago, golf's forefa-
thers took a tree branch and hit a leather
pouch stuffed with feathers at a hole that
тер 1/2,000,000 of the
field of play. If it took seven swings to sink
it, they threw the stick into the Firth of
Forth.

Then came the technological revolution.
Steel shafis replaced sticks. Golf gota little
sier, but it was still, in the words of pun-
dit Paul O'Neil, "an exercise in masochism
conducted out of doors.” Golf was still
hard. That was the idea—the game's spite-
fulness was its allure.

No more, thanks to modern engine

sented roughly

ing. You can now swing a foam-filled
metal-headed Taylor Made driver at a ball
made of Surlyn or Zinthane. Todays
"woods" come from labs, not trees. Today's
irons are perimeter-weighted and sweet-
spot-enhanced through computerized mod-
eling techniques developed by NASA

It gets worse. The number-one ball in
the world, the Titleist, has a triangular
dimple pattern for lift. lt rises like а
Dwight Gooden fast ball. The dimples of
the Maxfli DDH are arranged in pen-
tagons, for overkill. It hugs the terrain like
a cruise missile. Using titanium, boron,
beryllium-copper or Kevlar drivers, the
pros can now skywrite with these new balls.
Give them a Ping Eye 2 wedge (with its
soon-to-be-illegal square grooves on the
club face) and they will make their ap-
proach shots bite the green, back up and
do calligraphy. Even hackers can make
birdies with the new physics. Some of them
use the already illegal “hot” balls adver-
tised in golf magazines. The rumor is, if
you hit one high enough, it will stay up.

Jack Nicklaus and Tom Watson, who re-

member the days when skill was rewarded
and bad shots got wet, have suggested that
all this tech may be screwing up the game.
They worry about a future in which every-
body stays home and shoots 65.

We do, too. We think we should ban ev-
erything but hickory, steel, feathers and
leather and get back to the real meaning of
the game, making excuses.

LOVETT SONGS

Nouveau-country phenom Lyle Lovett is
so cool that ultrahip country rocker K. D.
Lang kidded him, “I bet with that hair, you
Lovett, whose

get into Eraserhead for fre
hair grows way high and in the face, writes
appealingly strange songs that weave clas-
lonely-guy images into wiggy Steven
Wright-ish scenarios. For example, in If 1
Had a Boat, a pissed-off Tonto tells Ke-
mosabe, “Kiss my ass, 1 bought a boat / т
going out to sea.”

Even though he has penned a few heart-
breakers, Lovett has been accused of sex-
ism for committing such criminal lines as
“Well, 1 could handle it behind her/And I
liked it on the side/ But don't make me look
around her, man, ‘cause she's/ Ugly-ugly-
ugly-ugly-ugly"

“] just try to nail a particular aspect of
human nature and simply show that it ex-
ists," Lovett explained. And human nature
has disappointed him more than once. “1
was opening at the Colorado state fair for
Donny Osmond,” he told us with some de-
light. "I saw all those teenage girls and
thought they'd shown up to see me.” He
paused for a poker-faced second and fin-
ished, "I was mistaken" Aw, why don't you
write a song about it, Lyle?

LETTER BOMBS

You say you're tired of getting junk mail
from Fd McMahon? You're looking for a
change? Get a copy of High Weirdness by
Mail: A Directory of the Fringe—Mad
Prophets, Crackpots, Kooks, and True Vision-
aries (Fireside Books). Then you can order
a fine periodical such as The Three Stooges
Journal or Professor Matiha's giant tabloid

RAW

DATA

SIGNIFICA, INSIGNIFICA, STATS AND FACTS

QUOTE

“The only reason 1
found physics to be
fun was because I had
a professor who was
hated by everybody.
and I was charged by
my classmates with
making all his dass-
room experiments
fail. So I had to learn
a lot of ply
ош what
could use"—Pierre.
Aigrain, former
French secretary of
state for research, in
Physics Today.

SHOPPIN

Percentage of pur-

year filling out

consumers: 25.
.

Percentage of American consumers
who do not complain when they have a

problem: 70.
©

Percentage of consumers who throw
away defective merchandise and pay er-
roncous bills without complaining: 18.

Amount of money offered last year in
consumer-rebate programs: 50 billion
dollars.

Percentage actually redeemed: less
than ten.

.
In one study percentage of con-
sumers who say that a rebate offer af-
fects their purchase decision:
.
Average amount of a consumer re-
bate: two dollars.

RICH BOYS OF SUMMER

Professional baseball team with the
highest average salary on opening day,
New York Yankees (8657720); with the
lowest average salary, Texas Rangers

($215,826).

.
Average salary in the major leagues:
$449,868.

forms and complying
ernment requests for da

amount spent
ajor-league ti
ales in 198
$350,000,000; on
bascball cards,
$750,000,000.

.
rent value of
lopps Mickey
ntle card, $5
1951 Bowman Willie
Mays card, $1900;
1954 Topps Hem
aron card, $550;
962 Topps Pete Rose
card, $525.

.
Estimated number
of Americans who
participate in softball
leagues: 32,000,000.
ER

Estimated. number
of organized softball
games played per
year in the United

pment
ith Gov-

ove!

States: 23,000,000.
.

Estimated number of baseball-relat-
ed injuries requiring a visit to the emer-
gency room in 1986: 361,552.

LOOKING FOR A FEW
GOOD PERSONS

Percentage of the military in the
United States composed of women.
10.2; in the Soviet Union, less than ont
in Great Bi , five; in France, three.

Percentage of the US. Army com-
posed of women. 10.5; of the Navy.
ne: of the Air Force, 12.5; of the
ines, five.

таке of brigadier generals and

admirals who are women: 1.9 (ten
in all).
.
Number of noncommissioned offi-

cers who: are women:
cem).

umber of women in the enlisted
ranks: 124,936 (11.8 percent).

2 (8:5 per-

ad for Bad Luck Negating Services. You
can catch bad luck by shaking hands with
someone who ha

it, says the professor—
yet another reason to stay home and shop
by mail. Why not try the free catalog from.
the Institute of Advanced Thinking? A
mind, alter all, is a terrible thing to waste.

Dena Dane: GO-B-boy.

Everyone thinks he can rap—football
players, auto dealers, guys who write jin-
gles for beer commercials. But if its really
that easy, why is Mike Ditka's Grabowski
Shuffle so lame? Because Ditka isn’t def, for
one thing. We asked the very def Dene
Dane, whose rap LP Dana Dane with Fame
went gold this past spri
tips on defness, which is sort of like cool-
ness.

s wear a Kangol," he insisted

the class hats. I wear the Furgo-
His looks like
yarmulke and

“These ar
ra Kangol, the fuzz:
a cross between
Danes own hair. “Not 100 many people
know what the top of my head looks
like," he said. ^You see, me and LL Cool ]
got something in common—nobodys seen
the top of his head. cithe

But there's more to it than wearing a hat,
Dane pointed out. "lt depends on what
kind of rapper vou want to be. There's
your hard-rock rappers and your GO-B-
boy rappers

“Your hard-rock rapper wears a sweat-
it-type thing, with sneakers, a hat and
jewelry. Lots of jewelry. It doesnt matter
what sweat suit it is, as long as its the most
expensive.

“The GQ-B-boy is my style. The hard
core B-boy look starts out with a Kangol
hat and Bally shoes. But then you mix it
with that GQ style—a silk jacket and some
nice baggy slacks.

“Now, with gold jewelry, if you wear just
a rope chain, you're a hard-rock rapper. If
its Italian link, you're working into a GQ.
What I'm wearing now is a gold Italian
link, which is GQ, but it has my B-boy part,
too, the big gold square with the double
D." And we suppose thats for Double Def.

i laboratory photograph magnified
25059 ОШЕН Wasco та
with fil

luorescent dye as it
ara ihe hair shaft nd follicle,

THIS IS EUROPE'S
ANSWER TO
THINNING HAIR IN
ITS ATTACK PHASE.

Foltene:
THE REMARKABLE
EUROPEAN SYSTEM

THAT ACTUALLY REVITALIZES
THINNING HAIR.

Massaged directly into the scalp after shampoo-
ing, FOLTENE, with its remarkable biological
compound Tricosaccaride® penetrates deep, not
only into the exposed hair
shaft (A) but into the hair
follicle (B) where healthy
hair begins.

And for 40 darys the attack
continues. Hair rallies.
Repairs itself. Looks fuller,
thicker, stronger Is it any
wonder that FOLTENE is Fe
Europe's leading supplement Ч

for thinning hair? rc
FOLTENE is now available in America at better
beauty salons and department stores, or you
can order it by calling 1-800-FOLTENE.

HAIR FOLLICLE

EUROPE'S ANSWER TO
THINNING HAIR.

MOVIES

By BRUCE WILLIAMSON

SURPASSING ANYTHING he has done since
Splash, Tom Hanks in Big (Fox) fulfills all
is early promise as a superlative light c
median. Of course, it helps to have an
imaginatively wacky screenplay, this one by
Anne Spielberg (Steven's sister) and Gary
Ross, Theirs is a handy winner in the batch
of body-switching comedies released re-
cently—this makes four, by my count—all
about identity swaps between men and
boys. Big concerns a restive 12-year-old
(David Moscow plays the younger Joshua)
who makes a wish on an amusement-park
dream machine and wakes up the next
morning as a 30ish young man. Wouldn't
you know his Mom absolutely freaks? How
he flees home to become a hot-shot execu-
tive in a toy company might not be credible
but for Hanks, who manages every transi-
tion with sly nuances and an amazing
sense of truth. He's hilarious in business,
where his childlike enthusiasm is inter:
preted as marketing genius, and even bet-
ter in his romantic relationship with a
co-worker (Elizabeth Perkins) who finds
his boyishness irresistible, to a point.
When she hints that she ınay stay the night
at his place, visions of bunk-bed fun dance
in his head. “Sleep over?” he chortles and
asks to be on top.
"There's lots more, and Big juggles most
it with airy ebullience. Penny Marshall,
n her second outing as a feature-film di-
rector (Whoopi Goldberg's Jumpin’ Jack
Flash was her first), is not yet a threat to
Mel Brooks or Rob Reiner. But she's on her
way—and certainly knows a thing or two
about casting. John Heard as an archrival
in the adult world, Jared Rushton as a
nerdy friend from school and Robert Log-
gia as Hanks's boss are all drolly deadpan.
As grown men going gaga over kid stuff at
the FAO Schwarz toy emporium, Hanks
and Loggia provide just one of many mem-
orable movie moments that ought to make
Big a bonanza. УУУУ
.

Elegance and decadence combined with
top-drawer talent bring high gloss to A
Handful of Dust (New Line). This faithful
film adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's 1934
novel, meticulously directed by Charles
Sturridge, has much the same air of
refinement Sturridge brought to the huge-
ly acclaimed TV series based on Waugh’
Brideshead Revisited. Infidelity among the
English gentry is the mischief afoot in
Dust, which stars James Wilby superbly
playing Tony Last, a young country squi
who seems almost more devoted to hi
stately home than to his restless wife
(Kristin Scott Thomas). So the wife rents a
flat in London and plunges into an affair
with a penniless socialite named Beaver
(Rupert Graves, who was the gay game-
keeper wooing Wilby in last years

Rushton, Hanks make it Big.

Finally, a funny
movie about man/boy
body swapping.

Maurice). First cuckolded, then racked by
the death of his young son, Tony impul-
sively sets off on an expedition to the South
American jungle, where a strange fate
awaits him. Loyal Waugh readers will un-
derstand the plot but may miss the author's
wry black humor, while average moviego-
ers will probably just go away puzzled.
Some sly clues to what it’s all about are pro-
vided by Anjelica Huston, Judi Dench and
Alec Guinness, the cream of a bookish but
brilliant cast. WA

Playing yet another spoiled, aristocratic
young Englishman, Wilby is obviously the
flavor-of-the-week actor in Great Britain.
In A Summer Story (Atlantic), adapted from
a John Galsworthy novella, he's a London
ation in Devonsh

a sweet, giving country girl (Imogen
Stubbs). Of course, he deserts her for a
proper young woman of his own class, and
of course, he lives to regret putting propri-

ety before headlong passion. Flawlessl
acted, directed in the best British manner
by Piers Haggard, Summer Story is . . . well,

idy story with a tidy moral. A bi
ading in bed. YY
E

ing the romantic leads in
the adventure-fantasy Willow (MG
Kilmer and Joanne Whalley were ma
Which means that wedding congratula-
tions are in order, along with a sympathy
card for the movie that brought them to-
gether. Executive producer George Lucas

claims that he has had Willow on his mind
for about 15 years. Filmgoers over the age
of 12 will not need to think about it for
more than ten minutes after the lights go
up. lís a sort of quest tale about a dwarf

med Willow (Warwick Davis), a swash-
buckling hero (Kilmer) and a baby
princess they try to save because shes des-
tined by fate to topple a wicked queen
(Jean Marsh, hamming royally) from her
throne. The hunted tot inspires adorable-
infant reaction shots by the dozens. Direc-
tor Ron Howard also leans too much on
play, sorcery and galloping
The visual overkill becomes a han
cap, with Lucas’ famed Industrial Light
and Magic outfit going bananas to pro-
duce special effects that show budget-bust-
ing industry but precious little magic. Va

The latest in a series of films he de-
scribes as “Comédies et Proverbes,” French
director Eric Rohmer's L'Ami de Mon Amie
(Orion Classics) is a delicious, romantic
fable about the mating game. It’s an old
story, but the setting is new—a sprawling
urban community of high-rise
cafés and boutiques that’s typi
modern and only a |
but could pass for a shopping mall near
Cleveland. Here, two working girls (Em-
manuelle Chaulet as Blanche, Sophie Re-
noir as Lea) meet on their lunch breaks
and make a date to go swimming. Lea lives
with Fabien (Eric Viellard), who is attract-
ed to Blanche, who much prefers Alexan-
dre (François-Eric Gendron), who has
someone else but secretly prefers Lea. And
so it goes, setting off a roundelay of
flirtations, betrayals and carefully timed
chance encounters that come to a happy
end, with everyone mixed up and re.
matched ion, Rohmers title
means My Girlfriends Boyfriend. Sounds
deceptively simple, but Rohmer has a
poet's flair for transforming the most com-
monplace boy-meets-girl foolery into pure
enchantment. He gocs so far as to color-co-
ordinate the costumes worn by the couples
swapping partners, and gets y with it.
Eschewing steamy nude scenes or fashion-
able references to safe sex, he tells us ev-
erything we need to know
young, single and searching. УУУУ

Remember Jack the Ripper, granddad-
dy of all 1 killers? An updated varia-
tion in L.A. today gs hairy and
scary in Jock's Back ( оир), а cut
ting-edge first feature by writer-direc-
tor Rowdy Herrington, who picked up his
know-how asa lighting technic nore

it’s not always evident in the writing. Too
many hints of the killer's identity occur too
soon, but the movie still has enough sharp
turns and psychological twists to produce

temporary states of hypertension, One
nasty-but-nice touch: the unse assin's
penchant for singing My Way in the show-
er. Herrington also has a wholly plausible,
attractive cast, with Cynthia Gibb as the

Theres a Hacktord in your future.

OFF CAMERA

Next to make the leap from mere
director to mogul is Taylor Hackford,
about to emerge тот Tger with
New Century Entertainment as pro-
duction chief of a major studio 10 be
called New Visions Pictures. Com-
mitted to conjure up 25 pictures in
five years, on relatively small budg-
ets of about $8,000,000 each, Hack-
ford promises us movies with “a
strong human quoti plus plenty
of music. Yes, music. This is the man
whose platinum track record
cludes five hit songs in four succes-
sive films, from An Officer and a
Gentleman and White Nights to last
year’s La Bamba (which he only pro-
duced). He also directed the Chuck.
Berry documentary Hail! Hail!
Rock т Roll. His first production
under the new banner will be
Rooftops, an urban drama with ime-
gral music and dance. Hackford's
professional credo is sıraighufor-
ward: "Generally there is sor
character struggling in my films,
working-class person making it in
American society, Clearly 1 am af-
fected by the American work cthi
coming from the working class my-
self." Fact is, he worked his way up
from the mail room to decumen-
taries for public TV, then directed
The Idolmaker (1980), a rock-star
saga, and landed on top of the heap
in Hollywood. Still to come while
he's taking charge at New Visions is
Everybodys All-American, a fall re-
lease co-sta ange, Den-
nis Qi about а
former football hero and his hom
coming queen. This one, says Hack-
ford without flinching, will show
юм time erodes certain attitudes
and changes circumstances, how the
exalted can become diminished. It's
id what we do 10 our
luc

ductive med student in jeopardy and
mes Spader in a dual role as a victim and
avenging identical twin, wl i
mares produce bizarre clues. Spader, pre-
viously typecast as the smoothly handsome
blond Yuppie you love to hate (recently in
Mannequin, Baby Boom and Wall Street),
here makes a reasonable bid for leading
п status. YY

.
You know a movie has problems when
an actress portraying Gertrude Stein says
10 a writer character med Ernest, “Re-
member, Hemingway, the sun also sets.”
Whoever penned such dialog should have
been reminded that the gorge also rises.
Even so, there's some pleasure in director
Alan Rudolph's The Moderns (Alive Films),
fact-and-fict ‚dgepodge about Amer
can expatriates in Paris during the Roar-
ng Twenties, The City of Light is bathed
throughout in a golden vintage glow, with
mood music to match. Keith Carradine,
Geraldine Chaplin, Linda Fiorentino,
John Lone and Genevieve Bujold fla
around in smashing costumes, while K
J. O Connor, as a tweedy Hemingway takes
notes. Wallace Shawn, as a gossip col-
umnist, pretty much steals the show by
delivering his lines with well-deserved dis-
respect. Look, don't listen, and The Mod-
erns may grab you. Y
.
Marianne Sagebrecht, the corpulent
German actress who was the generous em-
bodiment of Sugarbaby several season
ago, is back as a kind of one-woman magic
show in Bagdad Cafe (Island). In his first
English-language film, Sugarbaby director
Perey Adlon teams Sagebrecht with anoth-
er powerfully offbeat performer, CCH
Pounder, as Brenda, a wild, disheveled
woman whose godforsaken truck-stop
motel at the edge of the Mojave Desert is
changed forever by the arrival of a myste-
rious German tourist named Jasmin. 1
explicably abandoned by her man, Jasm
betriends the initially hostile Bre and
enchants a retired Hollywood ser paimer
k Palance) who hangs around the
се. Children, truckers, someone іе
icd as a boomerang backpacker and oth-
al eccentrics all fall under her spell.
E suspect. by the
she starts performing sleight of hand
tof the joints floorshow. ЖУ
е
‘To assert that Powaggatsi (Cannon) is
about something in the usual sense might
be grossly ling. The movie has no
Its images of teeming
ld humanity are accompanied
ical score to produce
matic dream state. If you
tor
Godfrey Reggio's 1983 epic of alpha-wave
sound and scenery, Powaggatsi should
prove mind-bending on another level. The

title is a combination of two Hopi Indian
ing sorcerer and life. Im not
n, but it may very well

to nirvana, УУЗ

MOVIE SCORE CARD

capsule close-ups of current films
by bruce williamson

LAmi de Mon Amie (Scc review) Being
young, single and French. УУУУ
Baberres Feast (Reviewed 5/88) A real
treat, and Oscars choice as best for-
eign-language film of 1987. ууу
Bagdad Cafe (Sec review) Motley crew at
a truck stop. Wh
Big (See review) Child's play for Tom
Hanks as a man-sized itle boy. ЖУЗУ
Bright Lights, Big City (6/88) OK on film
but more fun in the book. WY
Colors (6/88) Penn vs. Duvall in a tough-
minded, controversial drama about
gang wars in East L.A. EM
Do (6/88) The ghost of his late father
(Barnard Hughes) confronts a grieving
son (Martin Sheen) in Ireland. УУ
The Decline of Western Civilization Part Il
(7/88) Guys, dolls and groupies on the
heavy-metal scene. Ww
A Handful of Dust (Sce review) Brits with
glitz, from Waughs novel. WA
Jacks Back (Sce review) The Ripper re-
peating himself im modern L.A, ¥¥%
Judgment in Berlin (7/88) Trial of a hi-
jacker, with Martin Sheen. Wh
The Last Emperor (2/88) A basketlul of
Oscars, all richly earned. Vy
The Manchurian Candidate (7/88) Sull
chilling and prophetic 1962 thriller
about political ass; ation, Wy
The Moderns (Sce review) Paris in the

Roaring Twenties fizzles. уум
Powaggatsi (Scc review) A Third World
trip that doesnt waste words EM

Sclome's Last Dance (7/88) Ken Russell
trashing a Wilde classic. wh
A Summer Story (See review) Bookish,
veddy British tale of lost love.
Sunset (Listed only) Colorful, muddled
suspense comedy about old Hollywood—
with Bruce Willis as cowboy star Tom
Mix, James Garner as Wyatt Earp. ¥¥
Tokyo Pop (6/88) Nippon rocks, with
some help from Carrie Hamilton, ¥¥¥
Track 29 (6/88) Theresa Russell as a
provocative mad housewife. vor
Two Moon Junction (Listed only) Corny
but sexed-up saga about a Southern
belle and a carnival roi Ww
The Unbeorable Lightness of Being (5/88)
A horny European doctor tamed by
femin hot. УУУУ

White Mischief (6/88) Colonials play
musical beds in Africa while England
braves the blitz. wy

White of the Eye (3/88) The return of
y Moriarty to take your mind off a
serial killers compulsions. Wa
Willow (See review) Weep for it. WA
A World Apart (7/88) Barbara Hershey
a housewife fighting aparıl

wa O
YY YY Don't miss
¥¥¥ Good show

PLAYBOY

362228. George Michael
Faith. (Columbia)

365494. George Harrison
‘Cloud Nine. [Dark Ho sey

354449, U2—Tle Јоко
Tree. (sland)

336396-396390. Bily
Joel's Greatest His,

Vel 1 & 2.(Cobmbo}
330226 Gershwin:
Rhopsody In Blue; more.
Thomos, Les Angeles Phil
(ома -СВ5 Мозесеобы)
342097. Borbro Siress-
‘ond—The Broadway
Album. ¡Colurbro)

343665. Debussy: Lo
Mer: Nocturnes-

Mchoel Tison Thomas.
Dotai — CBS Mavterworts)
343715. Vivaldi: Four
Seosons— Moozel cond.
{Dotai — CBS Masersorks)

344184, Coplond Billy
The Kid/Redlon Ballots
Slorkin, St lous

Sym. baio Апо)
344622. Anito Boker
Ropture. lek)

345199. Beethoven:
Overtures— Bovonon
Redo Orch, C Deva.
(Digt — CBS Masterworks)

346544. Kenny G—Duo-
Jones. (Aro)
346957 Steve Winwood
Back in The High lifo.
Usenet
347492. Glenn Miller
Orchestro —In The Digitol
Mood. (Digio—GRP
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Book& Other Music For
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Pennorie. (Angel)

248318. The Police —
Breath You Toke—
The Singles. MEN)

348458. Dvorok: Cello
Concerto Yo-Yo Mo:
Noozel. Bedin Phihor.
(Data CBS Messorwerkeh

954902. leere Moc
— tengo In The Night
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355164. Vlodimir Horowitz
Boy: Favorito Ercoros.
(CBS Моето

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Valses/Pavone/Alborodo,
welc. Previn, Royal Phil
lDgrol—Angel)

348649. Pachelbel Conon
E Other Digital Delights—
Davis Toronto Chomber
Orch (Digtol-Fonlore)
348987-398982. Lindo
Ronsicdi— Round Mid
right. (Asylum)
349134-399139.
Beethoven: Sonatas
Piono & Violin, Vol, 2—
Sem stan (Dot
CBS Masterworks

349985. Johnny Mothis!
Henry Monani— The
Hollywood Musicals
{Cobre}

350587. Kethleen Bonles
Sings Mozart. (Angel
352534 Holst: Plonets
— A роле, Toronto Symph.
[Dotol— Ancel
353771. BohngRompel:
Sone ra er oo кат
Fiono Trio. өн! СВЗ

354514, Jody Watley:
(MCA)

354951. Mozon: Flute
Quortets — Rompal, Stem.
Accordo. Rosropovich. 1090:
‘bl CBS Masterworks)
354985. Bilie Holiday—
From The Originol Decco
Masters. (Digtaly Remas
tered МСА
355115-395M.Prince—
Sion’O’The Times

Prey Pork]

347955. Huey lewis & The
News — Forol (Cycle)

ف ل

364695. Wynton Marsalis— 308443. Various Arlists— 301802 Tillany (MCA)
Baroque Music For Good Morning Vietnam.
Tumpets. ABN)
(CES масонске)

Sound Investment

помати NOWAND ZEN,

"386716. Robert Piani- Now 365189. Jamies Taylor 364018. Foreigner=Inside
A Апеп. Espafanza) Never Die Young. (Columbia) Information. (Atantic

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(Cello) Marko ordo Teor Down These Wols. Out ofthe Bue. (Ador
ime. Columbo} Use Arto ee

355578. Honson: Sym- o Gyro-

Remon 356501. Benson/Klu Stones Wihout Words,

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"Always & Forever, SONS? REM —

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356467. Heort—Bod Weder OR GR lors Berk ec 361147. Rodgers Ard

Hammerstein's Corousel.
Barbara Cock, Samuel
Fomey (Digiol MCA
. з, 7, losses)
Classics of the 50's, 60’s and 70's | 75...
138586. Bob Dylon's 291526. Emerson, Loke 343057 ChuckBerry— Court and Spark. cuni
блесен Нін. (Солта) & Polmer—Broin Solod The Groot Twenty Fight 358929. Elton John Live In.
219477. Simon & Surgery (Atlantic) (Chess) Australi. INCA)
Gorfunkel's Greotest 292243. Jockson Browne. 345157. Jethro Tull 358937 Hondel: Music
His. (Columba The Pretender. (yh) Aqualung. Суза For The Royal Fireworks
231670. Joris Joplin's 292284. James Taylor 346445. Beach Boys— Yehudi Menuhin, Royo Phi
Greatest Hits. [Colunbo] —Sweet Boby Jomes. Made In U.S.A. [Coptcl резе ODE
244459. Sortana's Momer Bros) запо Buddy Holy — 13 MCA Gosses FPO}
Greatest Hits. Colonia] 293597. Led Zeppelin— from Orig. Master Topas 359018. Pot Metheny
246868. lim Croce- Houses Of The Holy. (DigtolyRemastered—MCA) | Group—SillLife (Tolking).
Photogrephs& Memories А! 349803. Von Morrison— E
—His Greatest Hits. Soc] 306049368040. Creedence Moondance, Worer Bros. | 359075. Aerosmith —Per
re leorwater Revival 350645 Ruling stones | merentVocoticn (Geier)
Greatest tits. Cio омо ahe toge Sky Fingers kolng 359695 Soroh
260638. Chicogo's est his! Forts ; Stones} ughn —Brozilion
Greatest Hits. Салај en 353102. Jimi Hendrix — Romanco with Milton
mE 319996-399998. Are You Experienced? Noscimento. (CBMA)
269365. TheBond—The ^ Molowr's 25 #1 Hits
Best OF The Band. (Coni) From 28 Yoors. [Mate Se a
286914, Heenwcod Moc 327742 The Best OF SPS BON The Ве || Ferchar Members Ol the
Rumours. WomerBros] ^ Konsos.[CES Assoc) рете рана рен Anodes Quone
287003. Eogles—Their 341073. A Decode of 358887. IDEE CES ceri
ne E a
(sy) 342501. Tho Byrds Groot- (Werner Bros Generator. (Atco)
291278. The Doobie est Hits. (Columbo) 364935. Troffic—John 361279 World's Greotest
Brothers—Best of the 351957. Yes—frogle, Borleycom Must Die. vertus Shenae
OoobezWomerbrs] onic) ‘shores Suppe, more. [Dial
кое

Animals. (Copioll Masterworks) Digt Nonesuch)

342120. Belinda Carlie
‘Heaven OnEarth. MCA)

362525. Stove Win-
wood Chronicles. Island)

EATUR и 362277 Neil Diomond-

Hot August Night I.
Hordline According tc Ter- жа

ence Trent D'Arby. (Comba)

(Columbia) 282. Arche Segovio
362152. Robbie хх; :govio Collection
Robertson. (Gefier} (ol. 1) Boch. Deol”

Remostered—MLA Classics}
362236. Tony Bennet. —
Bernen/Berhn. (Солто)

362251. Ahmed Jomel—

365361. The Who—
Who's Greotes! Hits

Crystal. [Atoni ксл
362343. Stevie Wonder 362541. Pretenders— The
—_Chorocters. Moown Singles. (Sre)

A sound investment, indeed! Any time
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Concerto Ме 2; etc —

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363994. Lee Ritenour—
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365247-395244. Verdi
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365254-395251. Vladimir

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rks)

6303. Ricky Stogas

258443. The Art of Allrad
Brerdel Volume 1— Victu.
oso Pieces.” (Vanguard)

264904. George Streit
If You Ain't Lovin’ You Ain't
Livin" (MCA)

py ue

ere

ers Born To Be Bod. Емі
[ж

367037. Kirk Wholum—
And You Krow Thot.
(Celumbio]

267086. Sineod O Con
ror—The Lion ond The
Cobro. Chrysalis)

365401. Neville Morriner—
The Acodemy Ploys Opera.
(Angel)

365619. Beethoven: Sym:

phony ме 9 (Cherel)
отелю, Lenden Clos
col Players. Сона Апае)

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T3 Stern; Yo-Yo Мо; etc.

Î Cas COMPACTOISC cius, MOON. Fridge
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VIC GARBARINI

TINA TURNER has always claimed to be more
of a rocker at heart than a pop chanteuse.
But it has been such “classy” mid-tempo
ballads as Whats Love Got to Do with It that
reshaped her image and reignited her ca-
reer over the past three years. On the two-
record Tina Live in Europe (Capitol), her
farewell to the road after three decades ol
touring, the lady manages to have it both
ways: She gives a hard rock-and-roll edge
to such pure pop gems as Better Be Good to
Me and Typical Male. A resuscitated David
Bowie duets on Tonight and Lets Dance,
and Eric Clapton helps churn out a spirited
Tearing Us Apart. There's a truly classy in-
terchange with Robert Cray on 634-5789
and the bluesy A Change Is Gonna Come,
but the real showstopper is an explosive-
ly cathartic romp with Bryan Adams
through ИУ Only Love. On the down side.
all those years jerking at the end of Ike's
chain during the Turners’ legendary on-
stage aural peep shows may be the reason
Tina sometimes turns a little too shrill and
frenetic. And that’s just plain u

headed for major stardom, combining
Bruce's R&B-tinged fervor with Elvis Cos
tello’s caustic self-reflections. Ten fru

ing years later, his RCA debui
Lise's Sister, a collection of
demolike tracks that prove that hi
ty is still intact—even if his vision seems
pinched, Honest and incisive, yes. But lack-
ing in spirit and decent hooks, with the no-
table exception of the superb I'm Just Your
Man—an act of grace that shows he still
has the spark in there somewhere. How
about an empathetic producer volunteer-
ing to help hin few more
next time?

squeeze out a

NELSON GEORGE

Vernon Reid is the Jesse Jackson of rock.
Like the Presidential candidate, this black
rock guitarist is trying to overcome white
racism and black skepticism to prove that
no arca is invulnerable to black excellence.
While Jackson tries to prove that blacks
can politic as hard as whites, Reid's band,
Living Colour, sets out to prove that home
boys can rock as hard as white boys.

On Vivid (Epic), Reid and Living Col-
ours three other members make an un-
compromising debut, demonstrating their
mastery of a broad range of styles, from
Led Zeppelin-like guit ng to speed
metal, funk and even a bit of hip-hop. Mid-
die Man is a tough, mean, mainstream-
rock track. Open Letter (to a Landlord), a
song about gentrification, and Memories
Can't Wait, a Talking Heads cover, provide
dramatic shifts from soft to loud, giving
Reid plenty of room for his Jimmy Page-
inspired dynamics. Glamour Boys, onc of

As the Tina turns.

Vernon Reid, Joan Jett
and Ziggy Marley rock,
but Tina springs eternal.

two songs produced by that old Ne-
grophile Mick Jagger, has a hooky pop.
rock chorus, while Desperate People is a
driving funk-rock blend. Overall, Vivid is
one of the most satisfying and important
ls since Band of Gypsies or,
for those of you with shorter memories,
Purple Rain

black rock recon

DAVE MARSH

We talk about pop music as if it were a
matter of songs. Almost always, if we're
discussing the мш spawned by Chuck
Berry Elvis Presley and their brethren
rather than by Irving Berlin and his, what

we really mean is records
“ases in point are everywhere, Take
Joan Jetts Up Your Alley (Blackheart). lis

best material —stufl like Radin’ with James
Dean and I Still Dream About Yon—barcly
qualifies as anything more than song Irag-
ments. The melodic development is as
sketchy as Jews singing, and the hi
monies are just a framework for blasts of
guitar. She covers Chuck Berrys Tidane,
the last real song he wrote, and also Iggy
Pops I Wanna Be Your Dog, which isnt a
song but a concept based on a riff. Grant-
ed, this is Jews weakest album, but it
doesnt have much to do with the songs,
which are just as fine and just as minimal
asevei

The one place in American pop still
dominated by songwriters is Nashville.
Country singers always have good songs in
the old-fashioned sense, which shows you

how meaningful that
the security of perfor
where songs old country
performers back. Take Conway Twitty, who
has been sleepwalking through his career
for what seems like centuries, Still in Your
Dreams (MCA) is his best album in many
ws—but mot especially because the
ags are better, It's just that, for some rea-
son, Twitty decided to sing them as if he
were awake and had something compa
tively urgent on his mind. As а result, this
is а first-rate album with one classic cu
Saturday Night Special is probably just the
product of an overheated Music Row
magination, but what a fantasy! Twitty
goes into a pawnshop to buy a revolver and
onc bullet or himself. But he doesnt like
the shopkeepers cheating а woman who's
hocking her wedding ring, so he puts his
purchase to other uses. You can imagine
the rest, but you'd be better off listening
юй

these days. In fact
ing in a medium

CHARLES M. YOUNG

Since the death of Bob Marley in 1980,
Jamaican reggae has branched into some
odd areas—‘lick shot” (basically odes to
the joy of carrying an M-16) and “slack”
(graphic descriptions of sex)—that have

GUE:

FLEETWOOD MAC wriler-keyboardist-
singer Christine McVie says that Mac
is in a hard-core working mode, now
finishing its Tango in the Night world
tour and gearing up for a new studio
LP Even so, we asked her to review the
new one by Ziggy Marley, son of reg-
gae legend Bob.

I'm not someone who buys much
reggae, but Conscious Party works for
me, because it avoids monotony in
tempo. Its a very warm record, too.
Ziggy carries on in his dad's foot-
steps, especially in the timbre of his
voice, but he's also inventive. His
politics are present but not over-
poweringly so. In particular, the
background vocals are lovely, the
arrangements imaginative and only
а few tracks falter. Т like 80 percent
of it, and I seldom like 80 percent of
any album—including some of
Fleetwood Macs.”

MADE IN THE SHADE.

Any beer brewed with natural hops has a natural enemy The sun. Because
when exposed to light, it takes on a “skunky” smell. And a worse taste.

So we make sure Bud never sees the light of day It's brewed in the dark. And
packaged in a brown bottle, to keep it that way

So next time you reach for a cold Bud; you can count on 085
that consistently clean, crisp taste. Because quality isrit
something we take lightly

Light protection. ts just one of the reasons why YOU
Budweiser has remained шшк у

BUENE SERDANG ОЧЕВА ТАС DES ANHEUSER BUSCH, INC=ST LOUS, MO

FASTTRACKS

asa besan des
Up Your Alley | B+ | B+ | G | B3 | NZ
Ziggy Marley and | | | |
the Melody Makers
Conscious Party B+ B (EXE B+ A>
Graham Parker | | | |
The Mona Liso's
‚Sister Sir Ba € B+ (Gar
pees | AR
B | ¡AS | (oa | B+ | Aa

DANCE FEVER DEPARTMENT: When fans of
Gloria Estefon and Miami Sound Machine
rewrote conga history, representatives
from the Guinness Book of World
Records were on hand to witness the
moment. The conga line was 119,984
people strong,

REELING AND ROCKING: Disney has
picked up the rights to Tine Tumer's bio,
J, Tina. She's acting as consultant on
the project. After 31 years on the road,
Tina has called it quits. She will be
recording again, though, after а well-
deserved vacation. . . . Lol Creme and
Kevin Godley will direct Howling at the
Moon, starring Gary Busey, with a Robbie
Robertson score. . . . David Keith is doing
his own singing in Heartbreak Holel, the
movie hes making about Elvis. . . . Ex
eryone wants Whitney Houston in it
movie, but the singer is still too busy
musically to make any commitments.

NEWSBREAKS: A Stax reunion tour may
be in the wor
Floyd, Isaoc Hayes, Luther Ingram, Johnnie
Taylor and Rufus ¿nd Carla Thomas were
so well received in a get-togeth At
lanta this past spring. . . . Dee Snider has
left Twisted Sister, saying, “I've said what
I had to say in Twisted Sister . , . Pim
proud of wh ed togeth-
er... the time has come to move on.” .
When asked where the name Toto ca
from, Steve Lukother answered, “It sure
beats the Butthole Surfers.” . . . Janet Jack-
son goes back into the studio this month
10 record again with Jimmy Jam and Ter-
ry Lewis. . . . Bill Wyman’s bio will finally
be written with Ray Coleman, the former
editor of Melody Maker. Wyman h:
collected tons of Rolling Stones memora-
bilia since 1962. Other Stones news: Ron
Wood says the hoys will do a final con-
cert tour and album next year. Mick an-
nounced to his cronies that getting the
group together was a top priority for

him. ... A poem written by Jim Morrison
will be included on an album being pro-
duced to benefit Save the Children.
Other musicians who appear on the
record include Stewart Copeland, Susan-
na Hoffs, Idol, Jon Anderson and Patti
Scialfa. . . . A compilation album of hit
songs in demo form by the people who
actually wrote them has just been re-
leased. What songs? Walk Like an Egyp-
tian. True Colors and Automatic will be
featured. . .. CBS is considering Dweezil
and Moon Zappa for a TV situation com-
еду... And Michael Des Barres is filming:
an NBC pilot called Flip Side. which is
being produced by Don Johnsen. Des
arres describes the show as "Keith
Richards Knows Best." The
Feat reunion, with the addition of vocal-
ist Creig Fuller, will end up on an al-
bum. Marshall Crenshaw is poking
through Capitol Records vaulıs to com-
pile an album of country music from
the Thirties and Forties. Crenshaw,
who isa big fan of that era, will be writ-
ing the liner notes.
pared to hit the road this past spring,
the guys made a li
need on the road, from pizza to Band-
Aids to 876 lubricated condoms. Who
says heavy-metal groups are irresponsi-

+ Just so you disappointed fans
know: All the Tolking Heads w
to do a Naked tour, but David Byrne i
busy with fi nd theatrical
g out a 1989

As Poison pre-

100

man Beat Box" Robinson has c
boxer Mike Tyson то а fight
ne loud words between th
‘Tyson. Robinson promised th

nged
following
- Boys and
ta fight
the su-

any money
BARBARA NELLIS

perstar
raised go to cha

tended to make it less appealing to many
s pr ns in white America. Ziggy
Ma ley and the Melody Makers, who arc
mostly Bobs progeny, have an excellent
chance of remedying that situation with
Conscious Party (Virgin), an album that
is derivative of the elder Marley in the best
sense. Aside from the obvious similarity
of ve iggy manages to find that opti-
mum balance among liberation polit
love and personal experience that made
his father such a compellingly consciou
party himself. The production, by Talking
Heads € Frantz and Tina Weymouth,
achieves an up-to-the-minute technologi
al sheen without stepping over the line
па destroying the gu
m hoping this makes
the Third World hip for d

Skate thrash, a hybrid of punk and
metal tailored for teenage males, hasn't
achieved the artistic distinction or public
recognition of reggae, yet there are paral-
lels. Both forms speak to an oppressed
population (in the Western Hemisphere,
you have to go to Kingston to find any-
thing more oppressive than high school),
both are inspired by rage and both are
fueled by mind-altering substances—ei
ther the spliff or the suds. In the past,
Gang Green didn't seem to have much go-
ing for it beyond the consumption of mas-
e amounts of Budweiser. On You Got It
(Roadracer), the gang moves up a couple
of notches by my personal rankings. Now
both tighter and looser. the band has come
up with some powerful raunch riffs to
thunder under its shrieked accusations
that adults are full of shit. Accurate per-
ception of the adult world is, however, no
excuse for cirrho:

ROBERT CHRISTGAU

When you're selling exotic rhythms in
a foreign language, the compilation—a
natural enough way to package any dance-
oriented singles music—most often see
the only way to go: You can really pick your
spots. So Im not sure how representative
zarthworks/ Virgin's Heartbeat Soukous
ıd Hurricane Zouk are. All 1 know is that
Em sold

The language rench and the
rhythms are Alto-Caribbean—soukous is
the ed Zaircan-Cuban rumba

and zouk is what happened to Antillean
cadence when it bumped into rumba
1980. The soukous collection
; like classic disco without
artificial ingredients. I dare you 10 resist
the guitar hook on Zouke-Zouke. The zouk
approach is more kitchen sink: synth p

in Paris

‚aka
pulling down
high school.
n provenance
busty schlocky:

singers, including peers Vinci
Doctor Porn, who'll have yo
the Larousse you bought i

JOE вов xicos, Nee John Bloom, has real-
ized the dream of every working hu-
morist—to publish the autobiography. of
his alter ego. It’s modestly titled A Guide to
Western Civilization, or My Story (Delacorte),
and it's less an autobiography than an exer-
cise in the kind of running, rambling Joe
Bob bullshit that originally gained fame
for that persona as a deranged newspaper
who sleazy drive-in
movies for their sex-and-violence content.
The humor is regional in tone, with the
subtlety of a Blazing Saddles, uncut and
uncdited, and can get a little tedious in the
absence of much content. But Joc Bob fans
will mi ppily in search of the taste-
less quip, the outrageous depiction and the
allusion to such things as the Texas State
Hospital for the Cr ested.

columnist iews

The Deep South of е п les
spawned a loathsome crop of truly evil
bastards in fact as well as in fiction, but not
many of them compare to the wacko title
character of Pete Dexters grimly taut new
novel, Paris Trout (Random House). To de-
scribe the repellent Trou as a sadistic
killer fails to do justice to his inhumanity,
for this is a man without morals, con-
science or even a glimmer of redemptive
potential, He is a man you want to sec
dead, as soon and as painfully as possible,
even when it becomes clear theres not
much wrong with him that couldnt be
cured by the right kind of medication. To
follow him on his ever-widening trail of
carnage and despair is to travel a familiar
path through the interior of our heart of
darkness, a journey that unfortunately
fails to reveal little we don't already know
about the violence and the madness that
produce men like Pariy Trout. But per
that’s the point: Such men have existed,
they exist now, they always will. Dexter has
created monsters in this fine, disturbing
book, which grabs th
the outset and grips it until the L

Why do modern Christians believe that
celibacy is a virtue, that Eve was respons
ble for mans fall from grace, that huma
nature is corrupt? Elaine Pagels (author
The Gnostic Gospels) answers these ques-
tions in her new book, Adam, Eve and the
Serpent (Random House). She shows that
until 400 л, the Christian package of be-
liefs was quite different from what it is now,
Indeed, early Christians regarded the cre-
as one of freedom—not ens]
Some of the differences betw
nd modern beliefs can be attributed
ly Christian polities, some to social
turmoil and others to the sexual problems
of the great teacher Saint Augustine. A
truly enlightening book.

A man has his face clawed by a preda-

tory bird. A young girl runs away

cader

ation story
nent

lave.

Joe Bob's Guide to Civilization's underbelly.

Joe Bob Briggs trashes
civilization; the return of
anunlikely pair of supersleuths.

home to Los Angeles, where her mother
suspects foul play. A guerrilla acting group
from college has rcunited with an cye to-
ward taking over a nuclear plant. Sounds
like a job for that most unlikely pair
of detectives: the hardened, cynical Leo
Bloodworth and the precocious 15-yea
old Serendipity Dahlquist. Laughing Dog
(Arbor House/William Morrow) is Dick
Lochte's second novel in this series, and
it is funnier and more tightly wrapped
than the first. The games the same:
Bloodworth and Dahlquist tell the story
in alternating chapters, with Lochte keep-
ing their voices crisply apart, so that
you get not only suspense but also per-
spective whiplash, Lochte has a wonderful
lime putting his improbable sleuths
through their paces. Dont wait for the
movie version.

BOOK BAG

Baboon Dooley Rock Critic! (Popular Reali.
ty), by John Crawford: Crawford's ad hoc
counterculture cartoon hero has hercto-
fore failed to escape the pigeonhole of al-
ternative press. Poor pigeo

The Middleman and Other Stories (Grove),
by Bharati Mukherjee: A wonderful collec-
tion of short stories, accented with the a
thors flair for the international and
stocked with enough characters to rival a
printer's type drawer.

The Fourth Codex (Houghton Milllin), by
Robert Houston s of the Maya

irit, Indian curses, border intrigue. L
Customs agent Quintus Paz, Houston's an-
swer to Indiana Jones, entertains a cultural
collision of the head-on variety in a wild,
suspense-packed search for an ancient In-
dian parchment

Murder and Mystery in Chicago (Demb-
ner), edited by -Lynn Rossel Waugh,
Martin H. Greenberg and Frank D. Mc-
Sherry, Jr.: Eleven short detective stories,
set pieces with Chicago as background, are
rich in local color and insiders’ nuance:

The Player (Atlantic), by Michacl Toll
A jaw-tightening chess game of Hollywood
power moves, duplicity, and plot-
twisting revenge. Just like the real thing.

M31: A Family Romance (Harmony), by
Stephen Wright: A brilliantly bizarre novel
that will immerse you in another dimen-
sion—one in which rational thought is sus-
pended and anything is possible. Welcome
to the world of Dash and Dot, a husband-
and-wife team of UFO gurus who believe
theyve descended from a race of aliens
that inhabits the galaxy M31. Ozzie and
Harriet, step aside.

The Toynbee Convector (Knopf), by Ray
Bradbury: Bradbury, Playboy favorite and
grand master of science fiction, has com-
piled 23 of his most recent stories for this
collection. Pure entertainment,

Bed Behavior (Poseidon). hy Mary G
skill: A troubling first collection of stories
from a former stripper and panhandler
who wrote her way to The Avery Hopwood
Aw: at the University of Michigan. C
skill can find sex in the oddest places,
although her style could use some sanding,
her insights are like ice water on the face

Border Radio (Texas Monthly), by Gene
Fowler and Bill Crawford: What happens
when you take badly trained used-car
salesmen, plunk them down in front of a
microphone, fire up half a million watts of
illegal radio power and turn them loose on
North America's airwaves? What happens
is the riotous history of the outlaw border
radio stations that beamed pitchmen, psy-
chics, yodelers and kick-ass rock and roll
from Mexico from the Thirties to the Six-
П

Where I'm Calling From: New & Selected
Stories (Atlantic), by Raymond Carver: A
collection of 30 previously anthologized
stories and seven new ones.
consider this a Best Buy.

Primitive Baseball (Atheneum), by H;
Frommer, subtitled “The
in the Gilded Age”: Frommer has loaded
his book like a corked bat, with baseball
histo necdotes, biographies and more.
From the Cincinnati Red Stockings of 1869
taking their act on the road to the five Del-
ahanty brothet ng hell at the turn of
the century, Frommer has sent a dinger
deep into power alley's Uecker seats,

SPORTS

T! best cure for baseball boredom is
to go straight from the excitement of
opening week to the excitement of the
play-offs and the world series. What do we
lose, a few stats?

Small payment, 1 say, for the valuable
hours, days, weeks, months we'll save in not
having to watch managers change pitchers
every three minutes and 47 seconds.

Other cures are as follow

Eliminate teams nobody has ever heard of.

The Seattle Mariners, for example. The
San Diego Padres, for another. Maybe the
Indianapolis Colts, or is that another
spore

If this causes am imbalance of some
kind, we can bring back the Washington
Senators, Philadelphia Athletics and St.
Louis Browns.

IL is not a single unless the baller can whip
the first basemans ass.

This alone should get more physical con-
tacı into the game.

Gel rid of one outfielder

T'he resultas bound 10 be more hits and
fewer easy outs.

Right-handed pitchers must. pitch. lefi-
handed and left-handed pitchers must pitch
right-handed.

This will do away with the need for bat-
ting helmets. It should also create higher-
scoring games.

It is not a stolen base unless

The base runner actually loads the |
onto a golf cart or into a pickup truck and
drives it to a pawn shop located near the
bull pen

The base runner must do this alone. К
will be a contest between himself and one
D.B.P (designated base protector)

No relief pitchers,

The man who stars the game must
finish the game, unless his arm drops off
or he is hit in the face with a linc di

Foul balls coind as runs scored

Long fou! balls count as four or six runs
scored, as in cricket

Three strikes are not out if

The hitter is someone you've heard of, a
hometown favorite or a person with a
chance to win the game, as long as he's nat
threatening to break a record belonging to
Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth or Joe DiMaggio.

The hitter is out only when he himself
gets tired of swinging at the ball, says
"Fuck it" and walks to the dugout.

Having declared himself out, he may, to
add color or stir up a fascinating incident,
give the finger to anyone he chooses

Double plays are left to the discretion of the

ve.

By DAN JENKINS

BUILDING A
BETTER BASEBALL

press box.

For instance, a double play may not
count if it brings an abrupt end to a
thrilling rally

Home-run hitters get to bat agam.

And a hitter may stay at the plate as long
as he keeps hitting home runs,

An umpires decision is not final if:

(A) The manager, hitter or base runner

can beat him up.
(B) A group of angry fans can beat him
up.
(C) The television replay proves hi
be an utter imbecil

No move face masks.

"Ehe catcher is a person, too, and there
willbe no need for a face mask, since right-
handers will throw left-handed and left-
handers will throw right-handed.

No extra innings.

Nine innings are already fiv
In the event of a tic score alte
gs of play; the winner will be det
mined by the press box, which will decide
iat makes the best story for that da

Go for extra bases at your own risk.

A pitcher will be allowed to try to tackle
a runner going from first to second and
hortstop will be allowed to try to tack-
le the runner going from second to third.

Upgrading couches.

A much keener interest will be shown in
what, exactly, they do if the third-base and
first-base coaches are entries from Miss

too many.
nine in-

ring their briefest

A baller is out if he gets hit by a pitched
ball, unless:

He can sling his bat and hit the pitcher
anywhere between the neck and the knees.

No consultations.

A pitcher may not be spoken to by a
manager, coach, catcher or any infielder. It
is much too time-consuming.

Organ music will not be permitted in any
ball park.

This will, in turn, bring about Or
Night at the ball park, a night at which
fans be encouraged to bring an or
from home or office to be placed in a pile
and set ablaze.

A player may not be busted for drugs if:

(A) He is involved in a tight pennant
race.

(B) He is chasing any of Pete Roses As-
troturf records.

No book uniting during games.

Players working on exposés or confes-
sionals in collaboration with a starving
sportswriter must do so on their own time
and never on the playing field.

‘Kill the umpire.

Umpires may be shot and killed by play-
ers or fans or any group thereof whenever
is a lull in the action or whenever
they're unhappy with the strike zone.

Attention, all cup fondlers.
rt of the game to scratch, claw
aress your testicles, or rather, the
nt thereof. However, excessive
fondling should be restricted to hitters,
pitchers, first basemen and pron
base runners.

All-out masturbation, as in the past,
ould continue to be frowned upon in
most ball parks.

Rewards for pop flies.

Lets say its worth a $5000 or even a
$10,000 bonus to catch a pop fly. Imagine
the excitement when all four infielders, the
pitcher, the catcher and both outfielders go
after the same pop-up.

At the end of the season, the leaders in
pop-fly catches from every team would a
semble for the big Million-Dollar Nabisco
Pop-Out.

It would be held at the same time as, and
in conjunction with, the N.B.A.s Slam-
Dunk Contest and the Merrill Lynch
Shoot-Out Championship in golf.

Offend a fellow

“The dd) joie ar
makes one
Soonessi RS
out there»: onesel
IE newiRight Guard”

Anii-perspirant, Atid deodor-
ant. Major protection. Sleek au
dome top, Gfeat new Scents, All thet,
advantages, you see. Because one;

"would hatet 10 be considered melodoraus

by one’s chums, wouldn't one? }

DEODORANT

Fresh'ot Musk'scent. Anti-Perspirant or Deodorant,

MEN

! I he king is dead, long live the king.

John C. Holmes, a.k.a. Johnny Wadd,
died March 12, 1988. A lot of men took
note of his obituary. It is rumored that he
died of AIDS brought on by a bad drug
habit and the sharing of LV. needles. “His
death was not the result of the excesses of
sex but of the excesses of drugs,” said Bill
Margold, a former porn actor and long-
time associate of Holmes’ he result of a
whole series of abuses to his body in one
way or another.”

No doubt, the man abused his body; but
n some wonderful way, Holmes was a uni-
versal male role model. He is a man we're
going to miss, the guy who lived out our
antasies on camera, the man who brought
smile to our faces and helped us pretend
we were superlovers all, gigantic and in-
ncible. The king may be physically dead,
but for most of us, he lives on in our ir
nations as a symbol of enjoyment and viril-
y The puritans in this culture will scold
us for that. but irs true: Johnny Wadd is a
vital part of male history and psychology.
and to us, he's as famous as any movie sta

Holmes starred in thousands of hetero-
sexual sex films, most of them "loops," ten-
minute specials made for exhibition in
movie machines in adult bookstores. He
claimed that he had had 14,000 women as
sexual partners. By rough calculation, that
means he made love to an average of 460
women per year, assuming he started his
magnificent career at the age of 13. 1 dont
know how to tell you this, Ms. America, but.
i г heart of hearts, most men chuckle at
such a thought. In fact, if God Himself
came down and spoke to most 1,
males and said, “Son, I have good news
and bad news: The good news is that you
will be allowed to have sex with several
hundred attractive women per year; the
bad news is that you'll die at the age of 43.
Care to go for it?” Lam here to tell you that
nost of those 13-year-olds would be stuck
for an answer, They would debate that
one, I guarantee it. That may irritate you,
Ms. America, but it's an accurate descrip-
n of who we are as men—horny little
fuckers from an carly age.

Holmes wny white guy with an
enormous schlong that was reported to be
M inches long, In the simple, primitive
male consciousness, a bodacious tool is an
object of respect and glory. We do salute
yes, indeed, and in that salute, there's a
tinge of wishful thinking. I know that Pd
always hed I could borrow Holmes's

noi

By ASA BABER

JOHNNY WADD
LIVES!

dick for a weekend—not for myself, of
course, because l'm hung like a horse and
have to strap my dork down to my ankle
and have no sexual insecurities at all—but
I have a couple of buddies who are uncer-
lain of their sexual appeal and could have
used some help.

The typical Johnny Wadd film was a
compendium of male fantasies. The early
loops had no sound track and involved
suaightlorward fucking without many
preliminaries. They were amazing, really
amazing. Johnny didn't have to talk a good
game or pay penance for years or go out
for dinner and dancing or buy jewels and
precious gems before he could get it on.
There were no tests or trials, no criticisms
or rejections. It was sex sans bullshit, a con-
dition to which, in fantasy, many men
could relate. An attractive woman would
greet Johnny in an aparunent, at a swim-
ming pool, on the beach, wherever, and
within seconds, he would be under tender
assault, his fly unzipped, Mr. Happy
springing to attention under the caresses
and oral m partner for
the moment. The lovemaking would be
ous, uncomplicated, joyful, and the
ns chosen were often surprising and
ally, the loop ended with a
copious come shot, a sedated
14, a worshipful, supposedly
him through
ntasies, as I said,

blow job,

Johnny

and for those women reading this who are
saying, "Yukky, gross, yukky,” I have no
apologies. That is the way we are, and no

amount of disapproval is ge
us. We are the simpletons of sex, and
proud of it.

Seka, Aunt Peg and a host of other wom-
en appeared with Johnny and seemed to
enjoy his presence, but insiders say he was
basically a loner off the set. “He was virtu
ally friendless by his own decision,” Mar-
gold said. That loneliness was undoubtedly
exaggerated by a fierce marijuana-and-
cocaine habit that led him into debt and
violence. He was linked to an infamous
murder case, spent time in jail after refu:
ag to testify, found his own career starting
to deteriorate, ran into severe health prob-
Jems and died a difficult death, Not exactly
an advertisement for a life of sex and sen-
sation, I know, but thats not the point.
Here we are celebrating his memory, hi
decency on camera, the humor and вет
ness he frequently displayed while making
love.

“I would love to be able to sit back and
drive a truck and be a nine-10-five guy like
everybody else and forget everything
that's ever happened," he told his ex-wife

Well, maybe. But Гус driven a truck fora
living and hauled freight and furnitur
through Iowa and Illinois and put in some
long hours on the loading dock, and I'm
not convinced that Holmes would have
truly enjoyed that life. He found his line of
work and performed well in it.

‘There is a potential porn star in every
man, and most of us are cı
secret way, of the little dude with the big
enchilada who got to play for pay. I guess
I've always been confused by concepts of
pornography in film and TV. I've never
understood why lovemaking is banned
and killing is exalted. Use never comp
hended why murder—from Murder, $
Wrote 10 The Godfather—is considered а

nnocuous subject, while sexuality in its
most unrestrained forms is kept under
wraps. For me, Johnny Wadd was a far
more honorable actor than all those hunks
who play detective and Mobster and com-
mando and sheriff and kill people with icy
abandon.

Heres to you, Johnny Wadd. You taught
me some things about sex, you made it
look pleasant, you seemed to care for your
partners and you seemed to be able to
laugh at yourself and not take anything too
seriously. Thanks for the memories.

WOMEN

E all-her Margaret couldnt see
out the taxi, because she was swoon
ly slumped against let's-call-him Max, her
head nestled in his chest as he crooned a
George Jones tune in her hair.

No, no.” Margaret murmured. “This is
unt is cruel and unusual, this is way
below the belt. Do not si ge Jones to
me; L am a good girl”

“Margaret?”

“What?”

“Can we go ou

“ex”

“You mean it?"

Margaret sat up and put her fingers in
her hair so that her curls stood straight
out. “Hello, 1 am Glenn Close,” she said.
Max, to give him credit, burst out laugh-
ing

And thus, yet another woman decided to
fuck a married man. Infidelity is such
pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas
the act itself is dark and thick with guilt,
her infusion, pain and (OK) same
‘mous pleasure. | know Mar
garet very well, but it didn't help.

“Nothing you can say will make any dif-
now every-
thing. I know this will end at least in tears
and possibly in agony. I know that Lam be
inga cliché and will soon begin to hate my
self and think of myself as sordid and
pathetic. I know that I may soon start en-

ng fi "his leaving
his wife and our living happily ever after,
and that it is absurd to think that a man
who cheats on one wife will not cheat on
another. I know that we are playing with a
ces and I

Can we see each other?”

stacked deck, that he has all the
have no power, that I'll never be able to just

pick up the phone and call him, even if my
fuse box blows up at three a.m, I know that
Lam indulging in a profoundly antifemi-
act and will probably go to hell. I know
Tam violating the Seventh Commandment
and that I am immoral. And I know, God
help me, that I may fall in love, and that
then I will really be fucked.

“But do you realize,” I said, “that by
filling your life and dreams with this man,
you're not leaving any room fora nice, de-
cent single guy who will bring you flowers
and propose marriage?”

“OF course,” she snapped. “What am I,
dumb? Don't I have a shrink? Listen, this i
nota pattern of mine. I don't have a string
of married men in my past.” Her face w
red with feeling. “I have been waiting

By CYNTHIA HEIMEL

around for that mythical single man for
three ye

! Nobody's even kissed me in a
car! And then out of nowhere, thi
ing guy comes, and I am struck by a light
ning bolt of lust. What would you do?”
“Jesus, you really are Fucked," I said.
These times do not accommodate in
fidelity well. Those loopholes that were
created in th s and Seventies have
been pulled tighter than Jerry Falwell’s
We no longer sanction open
swapping, We don't pre
more not to be jealous. We dont
sually turn the othe while our
es "find some space.” The sexual revo-
over, the days of randy exper
mentation dead. Be that
discase. We are understandably afraid to

az-

use there is

But even if the П that discase, we
are immersed in the nco-Fifties, a time
m, a
Christians and TV
the

me of bor
preachers and Fatal Attraction, of

-agai

reglorifica
Anna Karenina were writen now, it would
rocket to the top of the best-seller list.

But God or whatever it was that created
the species has screwed us. We do not, like
geese, mate for life. Instead, we have this
overpowering sex drive. A crafty, irre-
sponsible monster of a sex drive that rides
roughshod over rules and morals and

ion of the nuclear family. If

righteousness. A sex drive that makes fools
of all of us. So we can buy white wedding
dresses and sharp tuxedos and order en-
graved matchbooks and promise in front
of the entire world that we will, goddamn

it, be faithful for the rest of our lives, no
kidding, and still some small, frightened

pari of our brains will be keening, Well,
anyway, ГЇ really try!

No matter what our brains say, our bod-
ies will do anything, anything, to get laid.
Its bigger than all of us.

The more we deny the sex drive, pre-
tend it isn't there, the worse we will be de-
stroyed. Witness (and laugh at) poor Ji
Bakker, wretched Jimmy Swaggart. They
tried too hard to put the lid on. So who
among us will cast the first stone at Mar-
garet?

"| will,” she said. “1 will cast the first
stone at myself. Lam such an asshole. Why
am I doing this? Women don't do this, do
they?

‘OF course we da.” I said. “All the time.
The most we can ever do to stop ourselves
is to really I mean really do our
»nedest to be faithful, not to go after
nother woman's man. Never to do it light-
Ty or casually, or to get back at someone, or
because were bored or depressed or feel-
ing fat. Because infidelity is serious shit. It
deserves respect and fear.”

“Did you hear about Beth?" she asked.
“Fifteen years married to the same guy;
suddenly, she goes cold, cant sleep with
him anymore. She runs away with a sexy
young penniless musician, and now, in-
stead of being an art patron, she's waiting
tables at a coffee shop.”
ust goes to show you the lengths we
will go to to get good sex,"

," I said. "Mean-
while, her husband, I happen to know, was
having at least three affairs a year.”

How do you know?"

“Never you mind, missy. I'm just point-

ing out that even in this area, women are
different.”
Sure we are. Men can separate love from
X better than we can. If your woman
being unfaithful, nine out of ten
times, shes doing it because she's pr
foundly dissatisfied with the relationship.
not just for a random thrill. You must pay
attention.

“Do you
satished?"

think Mavs wife is d
sked Margaret, the fool.

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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

Wo the movie Belle de Jour, Catherine
Deneuve plays a woman living out her f
asies as a prostitute. One of her clients is
a large Oriental gentleman who carries a
wooden box, It’s about twice the size of a
ng, like the
sound of insects, comes from it. l've always
ndered what's in the box. How sup-
posed to have been used during their li-
aison?—J. E. H., Fairfax, Virgi

Welcome to the “Wonder Years.” The mys-
tery box in “Belle de Jour” is the countercul-
tures equivalent to “L.A. Law" S. Venus
butterfly. Does the box contain a hive of hun-
gry bees or love-starved beetles? One of the
prototypes of the Orgasmatron vibrator? An-
gry dentures that you could wind up and
turn loose on your lovers body? Luis Buñuel,
in his autobiography, “My Last Sigh,” com-
plains, “Of all the senseless questions asked
about this movie, one of the most frequent
concerns the little box that an Oriental client
brings with him to the brothel. He opens it
and shows it to the girls, but we never see
whats inside. The prostitutes back away with
cries of horror, except for Séverine, who's
rather intrigued. [ can't count the number of
times people (particularly women) have asked
me what was in the box; but since I myself
have no idea, I usually reply, ‘Whatever you
want there to be."

Do any of you herp tays in an erotic hope
chest? Tell us whats in your tool kit and we'll
publish the best

Pease help me seule an argument. Lam
starting my first job and just bought three
new suits. One is double-breasted and
the others are single-breasted. | want to
have the pants taken up and would like
to put cuffs on all of them. My girlfriend
says that cuffs are for casual pants onl!
Are there any rules about cuffs?—P. M.,
New York, New Yor

You win. Tell your girlfriend she has a lot
to learn about fashion, Сиђ are one of those
things that do come and go in popularity
as times and fashion trends change. Right
now, they are definitely in. Cuffing all three of
your suit pants would be fine, provided there
is enough length to make a cuff (your tailor
can advise you on that). There are no definite
rules on cuffing, but do keep а few things in
mind: Pleated trousers often look best when
cuffed; tall men should cuff trousers lo give
an impression of a shorter leg; cuffs should be
hemmed on a straight line and be one and
three fourths inches long or slightly shorter if
you are less than 510". Happy cuffing!

During lovemaking, my husband will
rt licking my feet and sucking on my
toes one by one. It also drives him crazy
whenever 1 am barefoot, wearing sandals,
open-toed pumps, high-heeled open-toed
dress shoes, fish-net stockings or se
through hose. 1 have always had a desire to

masturbate my husband with my feet, in
stead of always using my hands and fingers
to get him off. About the closest I have
come to that is that when we are in a
restaurant, I will sometimes slide off my
shoes under the table and place one or
both of my feet in his lap and gently caress
his crotch by running one or both of my big
toes up and down his zipper, which usually
produces an erection. He will tell me to
stop for fear of exploding in his pants.

Is there such a thing as foot sex? Can a

woman give a man a foot or toe job? If so,
how is it supposed to be done? Is there a
right or a wrong technique? s. D. H.,
int, Michigan.
You're on the right track. Next time you're in
a restaurant, play toe football—for keeps.
After he explodes in his pants (actually, we
think he'll merely erupt, not explode), spill a
glass of water in his lap and make sounds of
dismay to cover his cries of orgasm. You can
also try this at home, reclining on opposit
ends of a couch, maybe during “60 Minutes.”
Or try it during your bridge club.

surance on the new sport
car Im thinking of buying. The figure
my company quoted blew my socks off.
How can you believe in justice when it costs
as much as $5000 to insure a Mazda RX-7
fora year? Two other companies I checked
would not insure the car at all. What
givesz— 1. W., Dallas, Texas.

Welcome lo the world of high performance,
where sticker shock begins with the car itself
The cold, hard fact is that insurance compa-
nies look at every driver/car combination as a
“risk.” A sports or performance car—espe-
cially in the hands of a young, inexperienced
or “problem” driver—represents a relatively
high risk that may outweigh the potential in-

come from premiums, Aside from the owners
age and driving record, insurance companies
used to judge the vehicle itself largely by intu-
ition. Now they have enough statistics to
swamp an aircraft carrier They know the
damage and personal-injury loss rates, based
on experience, of every vehicle on the marke.
If your coveted car raises a red flag—whether
и tends to be involved т more accidents, has
higher injury claims or ts more expensive to
repair than the average car—you'll end up
paying much more for insurance. You did the
right thing by checking before buying. Our
advice is lo comparison shop other cars (as
well as insurance companies) lo find the most
desirable yet affordable combination. Consid-
er a sports sedan, for example, instead of a
two-seater or sports coupe. Because four-door
cars are generally rated as lower risks than
lwo-doors. (even two-door versions of the
same models, probably because they are typi-
cally driven by more conservative drivers),
they can be much cheaper to insure, And a
four-door sports sedan, equipped with the
right engine and suspension, can be just as
much fun as a sports car, while a lot more
practical. Not to mention much less visible to
the speed police.

ДА. your typical starving college student,
I've been forced to cut my expenses by
sharing a residence with four other gentle-
men. Unfortunately, though, along with
the lowered rent comes the trauma of
cleaning up after five people. To case the
problem, we divided the cleaning. Every-
thing was going hunky-dory until one of
my roommates began to complain. His job
to clean the bathroom, which includes
cleaning the shower drain. His complaint
that he is tired of cleaning what he calls
masturbation residue from the drain every
day. He bel that a certain individual is
constantly leaving the remains of his sexu-
al frustration 10 clog the drain. What
seemed to him to be a valid gripe ap-
peared to me as a € taken identity:
I conte: vas actu-

ted that this love residue w.
ally skin residue, dandruff and soap scum.
He protested, though, that we couldnt
possibly lose enough skin to stifle a bath-
шш of water. In turn, I argued that if it
really were semen he kept discovermg ev-
ery day, then by now, our drain would be
permanently stopped; and besides, even as
horny as the culprit appears to be, somc-
thing tells me that a daily shower ritual ol
this proportion isnt feasible. Please help
me settle the argument once and for all;
were running out of Drano.—M. S.. Glen-
dale, C ornia.

Right. Thats one frustrated. individual.
Five people using a shower daily could easily
produce clogged drains, but only because of
the natural hair loss that occurs during
shampooing, along with soap residue and
other natural by-products of the cleansing

PLAYBOY

process. However, any remnants of mastur
batory activity are easily whisked away with
water and should not require a thorough
cleaning by a professional, particularly if
Drano is not helping the situation. You might
also begin using one of the sofi-rubber perfo
rated drain covers designed lo prevent hair
and the like from going down the drain,
which would at least prevent any further
clogging or stoppage. You might also gel a
date for your frustrated roommate.

ММ, new car should arrive at the dealer-
ship soon. Do you have any advice for
checking it out before taking delivery? —
М.С. Nashville, Tennessee

You did inspect and test-drive a demonstra-
tion car before ordering, didn't you? The pro-
cedure for taking delivery should be much the
same—but is even more important. This isn't

some demonstrator you're looking at: This is
your car: And it’s likely to be your car for some
Time to come. Don't lel your excitement over
come the pradical side of your brain. Start
with a thorough walk-around. Is it clean and
shiny? Are there flaws in the fits of adjacent
parts? Carelessiy aligned trim pieces? “Or
ange peel” or runs in the paint? Inspect the
interior fits and finish just as thoroughly
With the salespersons help, check out every
switch aud control, every feature and option.
You should be familiar with everything—and
sure that everything works—before taking
delivery. Did you get all the options you or
dered? Are the owners manual, warranty

book and other documents (tire warranty,
separate accessory instructions) in the glove
box? Are the proper spare tire, jack, lug
wrench and special tools (if any) in the
trunk? Did the salesperson provide you with
copies of the purchase and loan (or lease)
contracts, extended warranty (if any), spare
keys, registration and title papers? We also
recommend a brief drive lo make sure every-
thing is right. If you do find something
wrong, try lo gel it corrected before accepting
the vehicle. If that’s not possible, insist on ac-
knowledgment in writing, signed by both you
and the dealership manager, that they'll cor-
rect it as soon as possible at no charge. Now
enjoy your new car

My nush:

for about eight months and have enjoyed
a fairly satisfying sex life. A few prob-
lems have arisen, however. We use the
diaphragm for contraception and have

ad and I have been married

found it difficult to achieve the near-ecstat-
ic orgasms we used to enjoy. Previously,
with manual stimulation. 1 had wonderful
orgasms. Now I find that the diaphragm
inhibits my husband from stimulating me
both manually and orally: [have never had
sm with traditional vaginal inter-

an or

course because of the damned diaphragm
Consequently, we've fallen into a sexual
rut: I orally bring him to an erection and
then we have traditional —boring—sex. 1
love my husband dearly and we share a d
sire to please cach other in all ways. We're

not inhibited, so give us your best sugges-
tions.—Mis. j. S., St. Louis, Missouri

Go for an orgasm manually. Then go Jor
an orgasm orally. Then put in ihe diaphragm
and go for an orgasm genital, Then go to

sleep.

Ham 25 years old. I have had wet dreams
occasionally, but they have increased in
frequency in the past few months. This has
become a concern for my wife of one and a
half years, and she wonders if it is as nor-
mal as I have tried to tell her it is. 1 have
told her I have no control over when they
happen, but it doesnt help much. Is there
any explanation as to why wet dreams oc-
cur, and can they be controlled? My wife
needs to be put at ease before she makes
me start believing they ani? normal.—
S. W, Lincoln, Nebraska.

Nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) are quite
normal. If you've just started having an în-
creasing number of them, it could be that
your body is trying lo tell you something, For
some men, the dreams come in cycles. One
year youll have more than another year. Per-
haps you've not getting enough sexual release

during waking hours. You can drop a subtle
hint to your wife that if she wants to decrease
the number of your wet dreams, she can
volunteer to increase the frequency of your
waking sexual encounters

Bo my girlfriend and I enjoy looking

at erotic videos, but we have noticed a

slight difference in our viewing tastes.
When I go to the video store, I look for
films that feature new actors, When she
goes. she looks for videos with the same old
faces. And when looking at a given video,
we find that E get more excited when there
are lots of characters, while she
ed following the same characte
an involved story. Is this
ference?—E P, Chicago, Illinois.

You are an astute observer of human be
havior We found a research paper in the
Archives of Sexual Behavior, volume 15,
that seems to confirm your experience. Female
and male subjects watched an explicit film for
four days straight, then watched either (A) a
film showing the same actors engaged in dif-
ferent sexual acts or (B) one with different
actors engaging in the same activities shown
in the original film. Afier four days of the
same old same old, none of the subjects were
very excited; however,

ets excit-
through
normal dil

then introduced to

novelty, the men and women responded
differently. Men reported being more turned
оп by new faces, women by new acts. We dont
think the difference poses much of a problem
She will learn new tricks from the videos she
rents and you will be

there to enjoy those
tricks. You'll get turned on by the actresses in
the videos and she'll be there to enjoy your
arousal. Neat.

Tha the February Playboy Advisor, a man
writes that his girlfriend refused to shave
off her pubic hair. Гуе read many leners

and articles in Playboy to which Гус consid-
ered responding, but that one demands my
attention. Seven years ago, my husband
suggested that I shave my pubic area. I was
reluctant and he didnt make an issue of it
1 believed that the hair was part of what
changed my body from a child's into a
апа wasn't it somehow wrong to
shave? After all, the only place ГА ever

wom

read of a won
occasional article in Playboy or a similar

Ys being shaved was in an

magazine. A few weeks later, after a day at

the

shower and my husband ag;

beach, we were getting ready for a
n suggested
getting rid of the hair, Lagreed and he did
it for me. ‘That first shave took more than
an hour and it was a sensuous, delightful
experience for both of us. It progressed
into a two-day discovery period that gave
me a new outlook on sex

lo all women who have pubic hair, I say
this: The mere touch of the penis on that
bare, exposed skin causes truly unbelic
able sensations! So do fingers with a touch
of lubrication! And I refuse to try to de-
scribe the sensations created by the touch
of a tongue! Orgasms are frequent—and
great—without actual penetration. No
woman knows how unbelievably wonder-
ful sex can be until she has experienced it
with a freshly shaven pubis and the man
she loves. 1 would never let that hair grow
back. Pubic hair docs not a woman make;
ask my husband—or any other man who

has experienced this. Other benefits are

no stray hairs coming off in his mouth ot
getting caught in his throat and no inter-
ruption of her sexual enjoyment. Now, a
few facts: (A) After seven years of shaving,
Um just as sensitive in the pubic area as
ever: (B) I've contracted no sexual diseases
during that time. (C) Гуе had no medical
problems with my reproductive organs
(D) My gynecologist (whose wife shaves)
says theres nothing wrong with shaving.
According to him, its a regular practice
several other countries. I highly recom-
mend this experience 10 every woman
Fight the feeling that theres something
wrong in doing it. Just try it, and Fm sure
you'll decide to keep that hair off forever, 1
think there are more women who shave
than anyone suspects—we don't shout it
from the rooftops, you know. It's a private
act, a private decision and it results in a
semiprivate display of hreworks.—Mrs
D. K.. Columbus, Ohic
Thanks

All. reasonable questions—from fashion,
food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dating
problems, taste and etiquette —uill be person-
ally answered if the writer includes a stamped,
self-addressed envelope, Send all letters to The
Playboy Advisor, Playboy Building, 919 N.
Michigan Avenue, Chicago, Hlinois 60011.
The most provocative, pertinent queries
will be presented on these pages each month

Flavor.

Let’s not beat around the bush. Flavor is what
Merit’s all about. Real, satisfying flavor. Take-a-puff, rewarding,
down-to-your-toes flavor. It's what you love about smoking. It's what you
get from Merit. And because of Enriched Flavor™ Merit delivers
all this taste with even less tar than other leading lights. If that
sounds like your kind of cigarette, just say the word.

Enriched Flavor; low tar. A solution with Merit.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette
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Kings: 8 mg “tar; 0.6 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method.

DEAR PLAYMATES

1 for the month:

T ne questi

How do you keep a long-term rela-
tionship vital and fresh?

Bh takes some effort, especially if both
partners work long hours at demanding
jobs. 1 travel a lot, so when I go home,
we're always really glad to see each other.
Not living together all the ti
both people happy to be together
thing I've done
to set aside
опе day a week,
unplug the
phone and con
ше on the
relationship. It
also doesn't
hurt w care
about your ap-
pearance—
dress nicely,
shave your legs
and dont be
too predictable. Do something out of the
ordinary once in a while. Dont patronize
me with fake attention and don't neglect
me. The main thing is knowing your own
needs and those of your partner.

oe SON

JULIE PELERSON
FEBRUARY 198

F ок you shouldnt ever get to a point
where you're bored with each other. Some-
times, after you've been going out with a
guy for a while,
you start to stay
home more and
stop seeing oth-
er people. Keep
up your mut

spend every
minute of the
day togeth
Give yourselves
a chance to
iss cach otl
a little bit. If your sex life needs a shot in
the arm, don't have sex lor a while. Get
some new ideas, read some sex books.

Qood Brandt

BRANDI BRANDT
OCTOBER 1987

Bin en

for mor:

aged 10 a man whom Pve known
than five years. We have a couple
of ways to revitalize our relationship. We
have a fight. Then we make up. We usually
come out of a
fight а lot clos-
er Or D leave
for a time to
do a Playmate
promotion. Ab-
sence does make
the heart grow
fonder. Hes i
to sports.
works out like a
maniac. Were
apart a lot dur-
ing the week, so
we try to make up for it on the weckends.
Frankly, we haven't needed to consciously
relationship yet. We're so

we get to-

revitalize ou

INDIA ALLEN
DECEMBER 1987

Mie miin ways о keepa relationship en-
exgized are tà take enough time away from
ach other and to have different inter
Then, when
you are vogeth-
you. have

Your own inter-
ests and outside
tivities keep
you excited and
you bring that
10 your rela-
tionship. It's
important to
have a balance
between career
and love life. That balance is what keeps a
couple from getting bored with each other
Everyone needs challenges 10 keep life
sh and interesting.

moe

LAURIE CARR
DECEMBER 1986

There are times when you just feel it's go-
ing to end unless you do something dras-

That's pretty emotional, and the
perfect mo-
ment to sil
down and have
a long talk
Each person
gets an oppor-
tunity to
straighten
things out
Whatever has
been dragging
down the rela:
ionship, cach
partner has the
chance to make things casier on the other.
By understanding cach other's feelings. By
not being selfish. By improving communi
cation

¿CA TERR AT EE
JUNE 1986

С аво dicar necisevily mean aie
tionship is dying or needs revitalizatior
But both of you ought to stop once in a
while and re-evaluate what you need and
express it to
each other. Or
find a new envi
ronment 10 €
plore, maybe
take a class to-
gether or dis-
cover new
restaurant
Both people
have to be will-
ing to try new
things, not ¥

new people but m
new ideas, better communication. You've
got to throw in some romance and be will-

ing to work at it. If you can see your parte

D new ways, it's like falling in love

over again.

Send your questions to Dear Playmates,
Playboy Building, 919 North Michigan Ave
nue, Chicago, Illinois 60611, We won't be
able lo answer every question, but well try.

CHER BUTLEI
AUGUST 198:

سر

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THE P

A Planned Parenthood study re-
leased earlier this year concludes that
network television is “bombarding” us
with 65,000 “sexual messages” per year.
The report, prepared by Louis Harris
and Associates, claims that a typical
TV viewer sees 14,000 of these mes-
sages but, alas, only 165 references to
sexually transmitted diseases, sexuality
education, birth control and abor-
tion—and not one advertisement for
birth-control products.

With good reason, Planned
Parenthood nails the net-
works for not running contra-
ceptive ads. It should have
stopped there. It apparently
reasoned that since right
wingers blame network televi-
sion for everything from the
destruction of the family to
the spread of communism,
liberals can do likewise. And,
doing likewise, it used its
study to blame network televi-

PLANNED PARENT!

LAYBOY

FUTET

are laughable. Heading the list are Kiss,
Embrace, Suggestiveness or Sexual In-
nuendo, followed by the more explicit
Intercourse, Masturbation, Contracep-
tives, Abortion, Sexuality Education,
Sexually Transmitted Diseases and De-

ant or Discouraged Sexual Behavior.
Kissing and hugging? This is the sex
that is “bombarding Leo Bus-
сарба to blame? Grand opera and It’s a
Wonderful Life must cause teen preg-
nancy, too. Suggestiveness or innuen-

ical /832/000/276/2.50/812]414 MAD VL.
Verbi /0:387000 йы 058 [008 018 028 017

610

D SWEEPS

FORUM

SORRY, PLANNED PARENTHOO)

kissing, hugging and intercourse—as
two incidents if both parties were wi
ing participants. If one party was pas-
sive, they scored it as only one incident.
By that method, necrophilia is tamer
than a mutual kiss. | have to agree with
the NBC press release: “The shortcom-
ings of such a survey . . . should be
apparent.”

The Planned Parenthood PR kit
urges networks to provide a generous
dose of sexual consequences during
prime time. (I thought that
was what Maddie received on
Moonlighting.) Its theory is
that through exposure to re-
alistic information, teenagers
will develop more responsible
sexual behavior. Its goal, of
course, is to avert teen preg-
nancies, which should, in-
deed, be a priority And
teenagers should, indeed, be
given every opportunity to
get the facts. But Planned

t "туха 0927047 3961294 \256\ 782
sion for teen pregnancy. „ыб 21 [0301018020000 Parenthood overlooks the ob-
1 don't buy the right wing's PEN, cii Ee ae vious: The culprit is hor-

st TV and I

argument ag;

35 71000 эла | 656 | 205 | «з» 13383 378

moncs, not Hollywood. To say

don't buy Planned Parent- E that cach time Corbin
hood's, cither. For one thing, weg tm Fam [um LO Си Lami eoa Bernsen ogles a blonde he
Planned Parenthood doesnt кееш 00 [un та Fan Гол гоз ou plants the seed of sexual pas-
make a very good argument о o sion in his teen audience
Consider the time slots it ben re f au E oy E in va shows remarkable igno-
chose to study: It picked one rance—and a short memory
week last September and (Pee um] om [ew ш | oo | сх (os Y om forwhátitisio bealbenager.
looked at programs on the CE To teenagers, life itself is a
three major networks that ЕД prime-time commercial for
aired between 12:30 and four sex. What turns them on?
em. and between eight and 11 Tu ET mw mn) an || 94 Other teenagers. With whom
em. How many teenagers = do they hang around? Other
watch TV between noon and = мм HW. ы выт ты ым ти teenagers. Maybe Planned
four o'clock? Most states have mo QM oum uu nue n € Parenthood should consider
laus that keep children under ea RA mm attacking high schools—
16 in school until three where teens mass daily—in-
o'clock or so. Those who drop Mean number of мака per hour c selected secl behaviors on ТҮ for вой stead of network TV.

at 16 and stay home to
watch television and have sex

How, exactly, does television

type, hom "Sexo! Motel on Anericon Network Television Durng the 1987-1983 Ф v
fit into a teenager's sex life? 1

conducted by Louis Haris oad Associates, Inc, for Plonned Parenthood Federation ol America

doubtless had problems be-

fore they started watching afternoon
TV Shouldn't Planned Parenthood be
examining the high schools instead of
The Young and the Restless?

The study's method of evaluation is
also suspect. Each television show was
evaluated by two viewers. When a ma-
jor discrepancy occurred between the
two evaluations, a third viewer stepped
in, who ended up watching more than
20 percent of the shows, a fact that un-
derlines the subjectiveness of the study.

And some of the so-called sexual ref-
erences on the researchers’ tick sheet

do? Good thing Groucho Marx was off
the air before modern teens could be
corrupted. Intercourse? They recorded
only one instance, and that was under
the sheets. Masturbation? Doesn't that
seem to be more the antidote to than
the cause of teen pregnancy?

One peculiarity in the study’s tally is
that all categories are counted equally.
A kiss counts the same as deviant sexu-
al behavior. A flirty quip equals inter-
course.

The researchers scored activities
that involve more than one person—

ran Planned Parenthood's
theories past a teenager I know and
found out something interesting—
teenagers don't find role models among
suchold-timers as David and Maddieor
Spenser and Susan. Those aging baby-
boomers have no credibility with the
young. Good grief, theyre—ugh!—
grownups. And nothing disgusts a
teenager as much as the thought of
old people having sex. Lisa Bonet, Mi-
chael J. Fox. Kirk Cameron—now.
those are celebrities to watch. And they.
says my source, “always wind up not
doing it.” — KATE NOLAN

Page through the newspapers of the
past year and read the AIDS-related
headlines: "MAN CLAIMING AIDS CHARGED IN
THREE ASSAULTS,” “CHARGES FILED AGAINST
BLOOD DONOR IN AIDS CASE,” “ALDS-INFEGTED
SOLDIER FACES TRIAL FOR HAVING SEX." “SOL
DIER WITH MDS VIRUS TO BE IMPRISONED FOR
sestan contacts." AIDS. once thought to
be strictly a medical issue, is fast becom-
ing a criminal-law issue.

In June 1987 Private First Class
Adrian Morris, Jr, was charged by the
US. Army with aggravated assault, a
crime that requires use of a “dangerous
weapon or other means of force likely
to produce di
harm.” The offense? Having sex w
three other soldiers. The weapon
AIDS virus.

In December 1987, Sergeant Vincent
Stewart was court-martialed for having
had unprotected sex with a female sol-
dier—without informing her that he had
tested HIV-positive, pleaded
guilty to charges of aggravated assault
and being absent from his post and was
sentenced to 24 months confinement

The military has led the way in prose
cuting its personnel for reckless disre
gard of another's life, and. to alter an old
saying, as the military goes. so goes the
nation. Although the intentional trans-
m on of AIDS is not yet a criminal act
nationwide, Florida has enacted a statute
prohibiting a person infected with HIV
Trom having sexual intercourse without
informing his partner of the infection:
Idaho prohibits a person with AIDS
or an AIDS carrier from knowingly or
willfully exposing another to HIV: len
nessee prohibits AIDS carriers from do-
nating blood and Louisiana prohibits the
intentional sexual exposure of another to
the AIDS virus without consent

Congress is also getting into the act by
considering a bill that would punish sex-
ual intercourse by any Federal employee
who knows he carries the AIDS virus and
does not disclose his condition to his
partner and does not protect his partner
by using condoms.

However, before rushing to enact laws
that criminalize the knowing transmis-
ston of AIDS, lawmakers should consider
what the purpose of their legislation is.

Is their purpose to get retribution for
reprehensible acts? If so, they should
consider that not all acis of AIDS trans-
mission are reprehensible: many are
accidents, not acts to willfully harm
someone. And secking—or gaining—ret-

th or grievous bodily
ih
The

Stewart

HAVE $

AND THE

tribution against someone terminally ill
from AIDS is a questionable action.

Is their purpose deterrence? The
threat of punishment to a terminally ill
person is hardly a deterrence. Moreover.
the acts most likely to transmit AIDS—
sexual intercourse. needle sharing, blond
or organ donation. conceiving and giving
birth to a child—sem from risk-taking
behavior. not from a conscious desire
transmit AIDS. What lawmakers would
be deterring is the taking of risks—not
criminal b
havior.

Lets assume
that the |
makers pur-
pose is

admirable. How would they define th
transmission or the risk of transmission
of the ALDS virus?

Homicide? Murder is defined. as the
killing of another human being pur-
posely, knowingly recklessly under
circumstances manifesting "extreme in-
diflerence to the value of human lite

A person with AIDS who commits a
felony, such as rape, that results in death
may be charged with murder. And AIDS
victims who deliberately expose others in
order to gain revenge should be по less
culpable than a person who deliberately
ajects a victim with a lethal poison in the
hope of causing death. But cases of pur-
poseful murder by AIDS transmission

LAW

EX, GO TO JAIL

are likely to be r

In addition, charging people who sex
ually transmit AIDS with homicide (mur
der or manslaughter) requires that the
victim has died and, in тапу states, that
the victim died within a year and a day of
the act that caused death. It can take
much longer than a year for a person to
die of AIDS.

Attempted murder? Auempted murder
is applicable only in those cases where the
perpetrator knows of the risk and is in-
different to the result of his actions
There may be the rare case in which an
AIDS carrier sha
intercourse with a person out of
scious desire that that person acquire
AIDS and die, but ıl not the typica
means of AIDS trans-
mission.

Even in a case such
as that of Joseph E
Markowski, a male
prostitute and drifte:
= who knowingly sold
his ATDS-infected
blood to a blood com
pany. attempted) mur
der is difficult to
prove. A judge dis
missed two charges of attempted murder
against Markowski because there was no
evidence that he had specifically intend-
ed to kill anyone by selling his blood

Assaull? Although assault seems to be
the most appropriate charge for AIDS
transmission (both Adrian Morris and
Vincent Stewart were charged with ag-
gravated assault by military courts), it
too, has its problems, Because assault is
often associated with minor offenses—
not with those causing death—its
penalties are inappropriately lenient in
the rare eases in which transmission is
purposeful or knowing. But because
recklessness is sufficient for liability, as-
sault can be charged even if the vicum
does not become infected

Given that our existing laws are inade-
quate for dealing with the criminaliza
tion of AIDS. some states are developing
their own AIDS laws. There seem to be
four approaches to those laws.

One 15 that the reckless or negligent
transmission of AIDS should be crimi:
nalized—and jures would decide
whether or not the AIDS carrier was
reckless or negligent. Unfortunately.
popular anxiety, irrationality and even
hysteria about AIDS are far too likely
10 cause vindictive or discriminatory

sa needle or has sexu

verdicts, especially while AIDS is dispro-
portionately concentrated in unpopular
groups such as gay men and intravenous-
drug users.

The second is that AIDS victims
should abstain from behavior bearing
any risk of transmitting the virus to oth-
ers—regardless of whether or not the
person discloses his condition to his part
hat policy might well be sell
A ban on all sex for AIDS
carriers would create an adverse incen-
tive: IF having sex were criminal no mat-
ter what one did to inform or protect
one's partner, why bother with inlorma-
tion or protection?

The third approach is that AIDS vic-
tims. as long as they informed their part
ner, could pursue their sex lives in a
manner they wished. However, not all
people would assess the risk intelligently,
some might not understand the risk and
love or desire n
count the risk

The fourth is thar AIDS victims who

Ano e infected would be forced
to disclose that information to th
ners and take sufficient pre

against transmitting the disease (th
the thrust of the bill currently before

Congress).
Although the last approach is un-
doubtedly the most reasonable one 10

take. even it has its problems. for enforc-
ing any law that required AIDS-inlected
people to practice sale sex or to abst.

I state
ions into the sex lives of AIDS carri-
г partners
pa The enforcement would be
highly intrusive and would require

wholesale sexual surveillance

In addition. the victims ol AIDS are
predominantly gays, LV-drug users and
the poor. Law-enforcement personnel
might well use criminal laws to harass the
dispossessed or unpopular and to rein-
force irrational fears of homosexuals (in
the District of Columbia, police ©
masks and plastic gloves when they raid
homosexual social Clubs).

Finally, there is a danger that crimi-
nalizing AIDS transmission would drive
AIDS underground—a counterproduc-
tive result in a society seeking to contain
ple who knew they car-
shed. €

nalizing th
discourage people from getting tested to
find out whether or not they carried the

virus.
The st legal tack to take and.
that is to use avil—not criminal—ren

dies to combat the
of the AIDS vir

tims may not learn that they have become
infected until the virus
has been nsn may be
diflicuh for a victim to prove how he got
the virus. Any lawsuit would involve the
plaintiff in a detailed investigation of his
own sex life. Moreover, the defendant
might have died by the time the suit was
resolved. or might have. exhausted. his
finances on his own AIDS treatment and
ihus be unable to pay any substantial
damages

.
The solution to stopp
transmission of AIDS lies
criminal nor in the civil coi
to prevent transmission from occur-
ring—not imprison or fine AIDS carri-
ers. Lawsuits cannot undo what has been

hg the sexual
either in the
s. We need

ission. Many of
e who transmit do so c
nce either of th

the methods of tr

1 of igno-

of those w dv dying
ad, the 1d the reach of any
al syst

Passing criminal laws is an easy re-
sponse to our fear of AIDS. I provides a
platform for politicians and gives us a
false sense that we are “doing s
thing” tofight the epidemic

It would be lar more constructive if we
used the resources we are seemingly will-
ing to expend on AIDS prosecution lor
AIDS education

MARINA л FIELD. professor of law at
ard Law School

There is an old blues song
thet goes, “If it wasn't for
bod luck, wouldn't have no
luck at all” In Illinois, the
stole legislature rewrote
that line: "If it wasn't for bad low,
wouldn't have no law at all.”

Illinois wos the second state to
buy President Reagan's voodoo
health policy: Legislators possed a
law requiring AIDS testing for all
marriage-license applicants. (Loui-
sicna is the only other state with o
premorital-AIDS-testing low.) The
sponsor of the bill, state senator
Beverly Fawell, said, “If we find just
100 people who could have possi-
bly infected another 100 people, it
will have been worth it.”

The naiveté of the lawmakers is
astonishing—they seem to assume
thot the couples haven't already
consummated their relationship.
They seem lo ignore the foct thot
people who ore getting morried
aren't, os o rule, homosexual, pro-
miscuous or prone to drug abuse.

Bul it's cost-free legislation. Cou-
ples who wont to get married have
to fork over as much as $300 for the
blood test, ond the toxpayer, wilh-
out paying a penny, con rest os-
sured that something is being done.

Governor Jim Thompson, a mon
who knows how to use a headline,
if not his head, signed the bill into
law over the protests of public-
heolth officials ond top AIDS ex-
perts. Praise the Lord and pass the
legislation.

Unfortunately, the low is a disas-
ter: Marriage-license applications

in Cook County alone have
plummeted 60 percent—
from 1500 in the first three
weeks of January 1987 to
600 in January 1988. Cou-
ples ore simply crossing state lines
to get married or postponing mar-
riage. In addition, already overbur-
dened test facilities are providing
tests and counseling to the people
who need it least—thus cutting off
access to high-risk groups that
need quick information.

Illinois Senator Paul Simon sup-
ports AIDS education and volun-
tory testing but is highly criticol of
the stote low: The State of Illinois is
giving the country an excellent ex-
ample of how not to test for the
AIDS virus, he said. “There wos a
long waiting list olready for those
who really wont to be tested. Drop-
ping thousands of low-risk individ-
vols into that situation invites chaos.
Those who know they have AIDS
rorely spread AIDS. But when you
have to wail four weeks or more for
a tesi, you have the equivalent of a
bomb walking oround out there. To
use those les! facilities for low-risk
groups—ond couples plonning to
marry certainly qualify os low-risk
groups—is a huge waste of our
limited resources. | can only hope
that other states will reolize how
counterproductive this approach is
and concentrate their testing where
it will do the most good.”

As we go to press, the Illinois
House Human Services Committee
hos sent the House three bills that
would repeal the controversial law.

R E

WILDMON'S ANTI-SEMITISM

Barry ms excellent article
on the Reverend Donald E. Wild-
mon of the American Fami
sociation, formerly the N:
Federation for Decency ("How to
Separate the Men from the Boy-
сой” The Playboy Forum, April),
fails to mention Wildmons anti-
Semitism.

Wildmon is fond of quoting a
Lichter-Rothman survey that
found that a majority of televi-
sion-network executives are Jew-
ish. then claiming that there is a
conscious, deliberate conspiracy

sion programing.

Wildmon first made his anti-
Semitic insinuations in 1985 at a
convention of the National Reli-
gious Broadcasters. In response,
the Anti-Defamation League of
B'nai B'rith wrote to him, “Your
remarks imply that Jews create
and condone anti-Christian pro-
graming. . . . You seem to be say-
ing that the ‘fact’ that there are so
many Jews who are involved with
commercial-television progra!
ing is an explanation for the anti-
Christian nature, as you see it, of
that programing”

In September 1986, in his NFD
Journal. Wildmon again raised
the specter of a conspiracy among
network executives, 59 percent of
whom. he reiterated, are Jewish,
to create prime-time anti-Chris-
tian programing. He concluded
his article with: “What we are wit-
nessing by the networks and ad-
vertisers is a genuine hostility
toward Christians and the Chris-
tian faith. This anti-Christian
programing is intentional and by
design. It took me years to believe
that, and to be willing to say so
publicly, but it is true.”

In 1987, Wildmon continued to
make anti-Semitic comments and
repeatedly used the Lichter-
Rothman survey to back up his
statements. “If 1 am anti-Semit
for quoting hard findings. then in
my mind, those who prepared
the study who are Jewish are anti-
Semitic.

I sent my hle of Wildmon
Quotes to the Center for Media
and Public Affairs, which con-
ducted the Lichter-Rothman sur-

FOR THE RECORD

TEMPEST IN A TEAPOT

“If you take an act of fellatio out of context by
photographing it, then publish the photo in a
magazine with a title like Swallow My Leader, and
sell it from the back rack of a dingy little news-
stand, you invest the original act of fellatio with a
lurid power it might not otherwise have had. Lack-
ing any hint of the byplay of personalities, the pic-
ture becomes a mere symbol, a lightning rod for
the cravings of its beholder.

“That's pornography—the objectification of
bodies.

“Now imagine а teapot. I's been designed by a
postmodern architect with a household name
(well, in the right households). Handcrafted from
the finest metals, it retails for $100 in hushed, spa-
cious stores with industrial shelving and salesboys
who style themselves after Edwardian fops. The
teapot gleams. Its form reveals a charming playful-
ness, balanced by its underlying architectonic so-
briety. ..... This teapot is no longer about boiling
water, It’s about being able to pay a lot of money for
a teapot. It's a teapot that, once in your possession.
reflects your obvious good taste. Its a teapot that
seemingly shouts for all the world to hear, 'Praise
be to the god of objets that I am owned by someone
with as developed a sense of style as Your NAME
HERE.”

“Thrusting off the yoke of its inal, dreary
context as a utensil—sad cousin to tongs and
strainers—the postmod teapot becomes instead a
symbol, a lightning rod for the economic and class
aspirations of its owner.

"Thats Yuppie pornography—the objectifi-
cation of objects.”

—from “Sweet Savage Teapot: The Rapid Rise of
Yuppic Porn,” by Bruce Handy, Spy magazine

E R

vey and received the following
reply from S. Robert Lichter: "We
naturally abhorany imputation of
anti-Semitic inferences from our
survey of television producers
and executives. Our report simply
noted the religious backgrounds
of respondents, along with many
other demographic and attitud
nal findings. The survey drew no
conclusions about the nature of
programing or the precise moti
vations of program creators, be-
yond a general endorsement of
using TV for a vehicle for ‘social
reform.”

Wildmon's attempt to hide be-
hind the Lichter-Rothman survey
is shown for the dodge He
promotes a theme that will do
nothing but divideChristian from
Jew—something far more serious
than businessmen's watching R-
rated movies after ten рм in one
of our hotels.

Robert L. Brannon

Vice-President

Corporate Communi

Holiday Corporation

Memphis, Tennessee

As stated in Barry Lynn's article,
Holiday Inns, owned by Holiday
Corporation, are under attack by
Wildmon and company for provid-
ing access to R-rated pay-per-view
movies in hotel rooms. Holiday Inn
has resisted Wildmons insistence
that this cable service be dropped.

Robert Brannon’ letter confirms
what we already knew: Wildmon
distorts surveys and studies to sup-
port his own misguided beliefs

Please inform Wildmon that
people were being raped and
murdered long before pornogra-
phy was published and before
movies were invented.

S. Cummings
Boston, Massachusetts

SEX POLICE

I don't know what kind of job
James R. Petersen has, but it’s ob-
viously a long way from the street
life for which he thinks he has
solutions (“The High Cost of
Sex Police," The Playboy Forum,
May). He can't be running a hotel
whose patrons are concerned
about the whores walking near it.
He cant be with the Health De-

R E

partment, whose employees are con-
cerned with the spread of sexually trans-
mitted diseases.

Perhaps Petersen lives in a neighbor-
hood where prostitutes look like the girls
on Miami Vice and doesnt know that in
reality, strectwalkers are most often un-
kempt, dirty boys and girls, runaways
and victims of abuse who will likely end
ns of robbery, rape or other vio-
lent crimes.

In fact, prostitutes have their fingers
on the pulse of crime and are very
knowledgeable about where the “real
crooks” are. How do these girls who are
so unworthy of our attention know
where every crack house is?

Maybe the prostitution solution is ob-
vious. All of them should be taken in by
men such as Petersen who can protect
them from further police abuse.

Larry J. Salit
Oxnard, California

We'd like to correct one error in “The
High Cost of Sex Police” New York City
spent $23,000,000 in 1985 to control pros-
titution, not $2,300,000 as reported. Where
does that money go? Busting those "un-
кетр, dirty boys and girls, runaways and
victims of abuse who will likely end up vic-
tims of robbery, rape or other violent
crimes.” The point of the article is that the
money would be better spent protecting pros-
dilutes (who are themselves victims) from the
real criminals,

In cities where prostitution is illegal (as
is drug use), many drug users turn tricks to
support their habits. In Nevada, wherever
prostitution is legal, the sex-and-drug con-
nection is unclear But there are few,
if any, cases of ALDS. Lf you are concerned

REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION OF COPLEY NEWS SERVICE

P O

about. health, spend the money on health
care, drug treatment and sex education—
not paddy wagons.

Actually, since the girls are so “knowl-
edgeable about crime,” they should be hired
by the police, who have had their heads in
the vice for too long.

A word of warning for any man con-
sidering taking a stroll through Orlando,
Florida's, scenic Langford Park: You'd
better take a woman with you. Orlando
police are using a little-known ordinance
that allows them to arrest individuals for
“walking aimlessly.” But so far, they have
arrested only single males, The police ap-
parently are trying to curtail the number
of homosexuals and male prostitutes in
the park.

T's nice to know that Orlando is so free
from murder, rape and burglary that the
city can spare policemen to arrest park
strollers. Indeed, Orlando sounds like
paradise—unless you're a single male.

Donald Vaughan
Greenacres, Florida

REVERSE SEXISM

| read with interest Dr. Andrew S.
Ryan, Jr.'s, article “Reverse Sexism” (The
Playboy Forum, A| . As a lifetime
member of the female sex, 1 dont like to
think that women take part
sidious practice; yet to deny that it takes
place would not be very objective.

Men didn't know thai they were sexists
until women informed them, Now mayhe
it’s the women’s turn to learn from me

Kim Hutt

such an in-

n
Atlanta, Georgia

N 8S — E

RICO ROULETTE
In “A Real Threat: The Rico Trap"

(The Playboy Forum, May) Richard Cohen
is quoted as saying, “No one has yet died
from [pornography]. ...” An article in a
National Coalition Against Pornography
publication states, “One pornographic
photo shows a murdered boy about nine
years old—naked and with a butcher
knife stuck in his chest" Apparently,
people have died from porn.

Dale L. Eble

Burlington, North Carolina

Taking your letter at face value, we would

have to conclude that the boy died from a
butcher krafe, not from the act of taking a
photograph. Is the photo porn? No. It is evi-
dence. And we hope the district attorney
knows enough to prosecute the person re-
sponsible for the act of violence.

Richard Ryan's article on the case of
The United States vs. Pryba (The Playboy
Forum, May) should have a sobering ef-
fect on anyone who values his First
Amendment rights.

Ruben Bolnick
Brooklyn Park, Minnesota

In my opinion, the real criminals in
the Pryba case are Henry Hudson and
Edwin Meese.

John E. Pinson
Greenville, South Carolina

The Government is using precious time
and money to penalize the Prybas for sell-
ing a few movies and books.

Adam Swetlik
Fort Stewart, Georgia

TV VIOLENCE

1 became aware of the crusade against

cartoon violence from reading James R.
Petersen's "Praise the Lord and Pass the
Popcorn" (The Playboy Forum, August
1987). The National Coalition on Televi-
sion Violence is trying to get rid of all war
toys and battle shows. It should realize
that these shows are fads like anything
else. Remember playing cowboys and In-
dians? Star Wars? Gl Joe? Already, some
of the cartoons the N.C. T.V complains so
bitterly about (Rambo and Inhumanoids)
are apparently off the air—dead from
the lack of viewer interest. Any organiza-
tion that thinks it has the answer to the

s of the world is highly suspect. The

cartoon [at left] says it all.

N. Mason
New Orlcans, Louisiana

INJUSTICE IN AN

‘OBSCENITY’

CASE

Memo: To Justice William J. Brennan,
Jr

A new book is out, Black Monday:
Worst Decisions of the Supreme Court, by
a Washington lawyer, Joel D. Joseph,
with a foreword by your brother Justice,
Thurgood Marshall. 1 regret to say that
it includes a decision that you wrote in
Ginzburg vs. United States.

That was a freedom-ofthe-press
case, decided in 1966, in which the
United States Supreme Court sent me
to prison in 1972 for publishing a
magazine called Eros. You and four oth-
er Justices found, in effect, that Eros vi-
olated your personal criteria of good
taste with respect to sexual literature,
and you ruled my magazine “obscene

Black Mondays veports that “Justice
Brennan, who authored the Ginzburg
decision, has changed his mind, and
now believes that mzburg and a
slew of other obscenity decisions were
mistakes.” The book furnishes proof of
change of mind.

‚ Vm glad you've seen the hight.
My regret, of course, is that you did not
see it sooner, since you cast the swing
vote in a five-to-lour decision that could
have spared me eight months in Feder-

al prison, four years and four months of
probation, Draconian fines, and a half
ШИ dolla legal c emotional
torment for my family, disgrace before
my professional colleagues and the
public and the near ruination of my
career.

Also, I might add, your vote could
have preserved for the American peo-
ple a significant magazine. Ironically,
the same time that the Justice Depart-
ment was prosecuting me for publish-
ing Eros, the State Department was
exhibiting it in Moscow as a paradigm
of American periodical publishing.

Well, thats all blood under the
bridge, as the writer Truman Capote—
one of the many intellectuals, world-
wide, who decried my imprison-
meni—once said

What can you do to ma
il rell you wh:

Ihe next time an obscenity case
comes before the Court (and, during
its most recent full term. 18 obscenity
cases reached the Court, according to
the Freedom of Information Center at
the University of Missouri), you can do
what the founding fathers commanded
you to do—namely. as stated unequivo-

ke amends?

Some modern-day interpreters of the Bill of Rights would hove us believe that

the founding fathers would have disapproved of porn if

hod existed. It did;

they didn't. Drawings such as this were quite the rage in the constitutional erc.

BY RALPH GINZBURG

cally in the First Amendment, ensure
that “Congress shall make no law . .
abridging the freedom of speech, or
of press."

They didn't say “except for sex” or
"except for literature that fails to mir-
ror sexual tastes of a majority of Jus-
tices on the Supreme Court at any given

The concept of sexual “obscenity” is a
relatively new one, little over a century
old. It didn't exist at the time the Con-
stitution was written. It is a transitory
sociological aberration, exactly like
witchery.

It does not merit consecration on our
statute books. Moreover, it makes a
mockery of American jurisprudence.
Nowhere is our law more hypocritical
than on the subject of “obscenity.”

The Supreme Court decision in my
case, for example, yielded seven dif-
ferent opinions by the nine Justices.
Almost none could agree with anyone
else—except that five Justices felt 1
should be imprisoned for whatever it
was that 1 had done.

Mr. Justice, you would go down in
history if the next time you wrote a ma-
jority opinion for the Supreme Court in
an “obscenity” case you banished “ob-
scenity” laws altogether.

There would be a hue and cry froma
small—but hysterically vocal and, in
my opinion. highly neurotic—segment
of society, no doubt, but the majority
of the American people would ap-
plaud your action. That majority will
widen with successive generations as
college education becomes nearly uni-
versal and psychological sophistication
broadens.

The irony of the Supreme Courts
upholding the “obscenity” laws while al-
leging abhorrence to censorship was
dealt with ina statement | read to news-
men at the prison gate when I was freed
on October 10, 1972.

lı was t mpt of the
Supreme Court,” a ared
history mark that in the year 19
this supposedly civilized, professedly
free society, a man was manacled and
muzzled for trying to tell the truth
about sex.”

“Let

Ralph Ginzburg is the publisher of
three magazines, among them Moneys-
worth.

N E WS E R ON T

whats happening in the sexual and social arenas

HOUNDED DOS

ME ALLEN. TENAS—Rocky and Barco
ave the US. Border Patrols most success-
ful drug busters. In one year of duty at the
McAllen Border Patrol, the two Belgian
Malinois detected $ 130,000,000 worth of

marijuana, cocaine and heroin. But suc-
cess has их down side. Border Patrol
guards have learned via their under-
world informants that drug smugglers
have placed the canines on their hit list—
aud have issued a $30,000 contract on

ILLEGAL TAPING

BANNING, CALIFORNIA—A_ 40-year-old
Riverside County man was sentenced to
14 months in jail for secretly video-taping
himself having sex with his various girl-
friends. The many roommate told one of
the women that he had seen the tapes and
that there “isn't a part of your body E don't
know” The man was charged with illegal
wire tapping and found guilty of three
counts of eavesdropping His roommate
was sentenced lo probation on one count
of eavesdropping.

PLUGGING AWAY

News from the front m the war against
sperm.

© A Chinese scientist claims to have de-
veloped ан inexpensive, 100-percent-effec-
tive and reversible male-contraceptive
technique that uses liquid polyurethane to

plug up the sperm duct, The fluid so-
lidiftes rapidly to form an elastic obstruc-
tion that is compatible with body tissue,
prevents the passage of sperm, can be re-
moved and has no effect on sexual func-
lions,

e Vanderbilt University researchers are
starting the second phase of human trials
on a male-contraceptive drug that pre-
venis sperm production and can be ad-
ministered either as а once-a-month
injection or as a nasal spray.

• Scientists at Eastern Virginia Medi-
cal School are working wilh a recently dis-
covered hormone, inhibin, to see if it can
be developed as a long-acting, injectable
male contraceptive. Гифт, unlike other
hormonal contraceptives, would affect
only the gonads, not the rest of Ihe body.

A MONKEY ON HIS BACK

New LENOX. uawas А junior high
school teacher has sued local education
officials for not letting him teach the Bibli-
cal version of the earths origins. He
claims that he is being denied his First
Amendment rights, The superintendent of
schools disagrees. Federal courts have held
that teaching creationist science is the
same as advocating a religion, he says.
Furthermore, he states, the issue involved
is the separation of church and state—not
the teachers First Amendment rights.

THE FRIENDLY SKIES

cincaco—A California couple who al-
legedly used oral sex lo relieve the
monotony of a transatlantic flight home
were taken off an American Airlines
plane in Chicago and charged with public
indecency. Their problem started when a
13-year-old girl observed the couple and
told her mother The mother told а flight
attendant, who told her supervisor, who
told the pilot, who called the police. An air-
line spokesman commented, “It is human
nature that om some flights, at any time of
day or night, people will try this.”

Two other passengers who pelted food at
the meddling flight attendant were also
taken off the plane and charged with dis-
orderly conduct.

VIDEO VIEW

GLASFORD. ILLINOIS—A 37-year-old.
public school teacher resigned after par-
ents discovered that the videotape of a

girls’ basketball game he had lent out ac-
tually contained scenes of the man per

forming sexual acts, “Trust me,” he said.
“I thought I erased [those scenes].”

MORE DOPE

LOS ANGELES—L.A. County police
found ош just how desperate—or
dumb—some drug buyers can be. After
arresting 50 suspected drug customers, a
deputy sheriff with a jacket clearly marked
SHERIFF and a Sheriffs Department cap
clearly marked Narcovws was ap-
proached by two men who said they want-
ed to buy some cocaine. They were arrested.

new york—Federal agents on a flight
en route to Miami detected the odor of
ether coming from the lavatory and
ordered a flight attendant to open the
door. Inside was a passenger—allegedly
using a butane torch to free-base cocaine.
The plane returned to New York, where
the passenger was arrested and charged
with drug possession and interference
with a flight crew.

DIRTY DANCING

RANCHO CORDOVA. CALIFORMA—The 18
members of the cheerleading squad of Cor-
dova High School performed a dance
number between cheers—and were sus-

pended from the squad for their efforts.
Administrators had warned the girls that
their dance routine was sexually sugges-
tive, but the girls apparently decided that
that’s what cheerleading’s all about.

Mr or um

WALKING THE PLANK

on (he subject of abortion, our (wo major parties are sharply divided

“The unborn child has a fundamental individual right
to life that cannot be infringed. We therefore reaffirm our
support for a human-life amendment to the Constitution,
and we endorse legislation to make clear that the 14th
Amendments protections apply to unborn children. We
oppose the use of public revenues for abortion and will
eliminate funding for organizations that advocate or sup-
port abortion. We commend the efforts of those individu-
als and religious and private organizations that are
providing positive alternatives to abortion by meeting the
physical, emotional and financial needs of pregnant wom-
en and offering adoption services where needed.

“We applaud President Reagan's fine record of judicial
appointments, and we reaflirm our support for the ap-
pointment of judges at all levels of the judiciary who
ional family values and the sanctity of
innocent human life.”

—Anti-abortion plank, from the Republican Party Pla

form, adopted at the 1984 Republican Conventioi
Dallas

“The Democratic Party recognizes reproductive free-
dom as a fundamental human right. We therefore oppose
government interference in the reproductive decisions of
Americans, especially government interference that de-
nies poor Americans their right to privacy by funding or
advocating one of a limited number of reproductive
choices only. We fully recognize the religious and ethical
concerns that many Americans have about abortion. But
we also recognize the belief of many Americans that a
woman has a right to choose whether and when to have a
child. The Democratic Party supports the 1973 Supreme
Court decision on abortion rights as the law of the land
and opposes any constitutional amendment to restrict or
overturn that decision. Wedeplore violence and harassment
against health providers and women seeking services and
will work to end such acts. We supporta continuing Feder-
al interest in developing strong local family-planning and
family-life education programs and medical research
aimed at reducing the need for abortion.”

—Reproductive-freedom plank, from the Democratic

Party Platform, adopted at the 1984 Democratic Con-
vention in San Francisco

By the time you read this. it will be all
over except for the shouting, the funny
hats and the streamers. And we expect
that this year's Republican and Demo-
cratic delegates will change the words,
but not the tune, of their 1984 plat-
forms.

This was a year when candidates were
forced to take stands on issues con-
cerned with sex—from AIDS to abor-
tion rights. In October 1987, we looked
at the candidates’ positions on AIDS
and noticed distinct. party differences.
("Where the Candidates Stand on
AIDS.” The Playboy Forum). All ol the
Republican candidates favored prisoner
and immigrant testing. and half were
against safe-sex education. Democrats
largely opposed mandatory testing and
quarantines, and all favored safe-sex
education.

The differences can be stated i
broader terms: The Republicans want
the right of privacy stripped from the
umbrella of constitutional. protection
Inthe name of protecting their families,
they want the Government to invade the
privacy of individuals. The hidden
agenda is to make war on the victims—
not the virus. And dont breathe a word
about sex to our children. In contrast,
the Democrats view AIDS victims as
Americans and seek to help their fellow
man through rescarch, education and
medical care.

The parties’ posi
parallel their positions on AIDS, “The
Democratic Party recognizes reproduc-

tive freedom as a fundamental human
right,” while the conservative branch of
the Republican Party—the Falwells, the
Robertsons and the Sch
vided America into us
places pro-choice citizens in league with
the Devil. If you listen to those Republi
cans, you'd think that only unwed black
teenagers or rich white liberal Demo-
crat career women had abortions

The National Abortion Rights Action
League prepared an interesting analysis
of anti-abortion and pro-choice posi-
tions, focusing on the stereotypes held
by the conservative right. According to
МАКАТ: “Official statistics from. the
Federal € ment indicate some-
thing of the fallacy of relying on these
stereotypes. For example, in 1983, the
latest year for which statistics are avail-
able. only about one quarter of the abor-
tions in America were for women under
the age of 19, Likewise, married women
accounted for one fifth of
in 1983. . . . Many Americans believe

abortions are not for people like them,
that ‘other people’ who choose abor-
tion. . . . Voters who take this vie

less likely than their social counterparts
to see the legal right to choose an abor-
tion as a right in which they have a per-
sonal stake and, therefore, as a right
they should support.”

How popular is ıhe pro-choice move-
ment? According to NARAL and Voters
for Choice: “The majo of the elec-
torate is pro-choice. Six years of
President Reagan, the great communi-

cator, espousing his anti-choice position
has not weakened public support for
safe and legal abortion. In 1975, 75 per
cent of the people polled belicved that
abortion should be legal in all or some

circumstances, and today й is 76 per-
cent.” Other figures: “A clear majority
(56 percent) support ‘keeping it legal for
women 10 be able to have an abortion
when they decide to have one’; 63 per-
cent oppose passage of a constitutional
amendment that would make abortion
illegal again. More than three quarters
(77 percent) of the electorate agree that
‘abortion is a private issue between a
woman, her family and her doctor. The
Government should not be involved.”
About three quarters of the electorate
(74 percent) agree that ‘since nobody
knows for sure when life begins, people
should follow their own moral convic-
tions and religious teachings on the
abortion issue.’

NARAL states succinctly the problem
facing the Republican Party: “The chal-
lenge for mainstream pro-choice Repub-
licans will be 10 guide the Republican
Party into rational consideration of re-
productive choice. For the party to suc-
cessfully maintain its cohesion, and to
grow, it cannot simply espouse the “new
right’ social agenda but must begin to
address the concerns of the new young,
professional, fiscally conservative and
socially liberal voting population.” In
short, it must listen to the voice of the
people, not the bully pulpit.

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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: HARVEY FIERSTEIN

a candid conversation with the outspoken homosexual playwright
about gays and straights and life and death in the age of aids

It was on a Sunday evening in June 1984
that Harvey Fierstem first imposed himself
upon Ihe national conscwusness. Just an-
nounced as Ihe Tony award winner for Best

Book of a Musical for “La Cage aux Folles,
he rushed onto the stage, smiled into the net-
work-lelevision camera and, in a Brooklyn
rasp that has been variously likened to the
mating call of a bulldog or a backed-up vac-
uum cleaner, declared his everlasting grati-
tude to his male lover

Such was the force of the impression he
made that almost no one recalled that some-
thing similar had occurred just a year earlier.
In fact, it was a preshow admonition to the
audience by the executive producer to "
please avoid last years embarrassment”
when someone had quietly thanked his male
lover—that prompted Fierstein to say what
he did.

“Before that,” as he later recalled, “I
couldn't have cared less if 1 won, since I had
two Tonys already; but suddenly, the gauntlet
was down. I had to win just lo prove that we
aint gonna take that kinda shit.”

Not that anyone who knew him was at all
surprised. Fierstem has rarely hesitated to
stand up for the proposition —summed up in
the rousing anthem for “La Cage," "I Am
What I Am’—Ihat gay people don't need the
straight world’s approval.

“When you have AIDS, you're judged on how
much sex you've had in your life and what
kind. But there's nothing wrong with having
had a lot of sex, with putting your arms

nd so holding them, feeling great.”

around someon

That stance, however, has often proved to
be a professional inconvenience. A situation
comedy Fierstein developed about a gay cou-
ple—"It was going to portray them as peo-
ple,” he says, “instead of caricatures" —could
not get past top network executives. The Wall
Street Journal killed a profile of Fierstein
after he refused lo allow his use of the word
gay lo be changed, in accordance with the pa-
pers stylebook, to homosexual. Nor, he claims,
is he any longer welcome on “Late Night
David Letterman,” following a famous on-
air duel of put-downs with the comedian:
When Fierste remarked that he assumed
everyone was gay unless told otherwise, Let-
terman snatched up a pencil and a pad and
wrote, “Fm not,” and turned it toward his
guest; but Fierstein directed his written re-
sponse— "Would eight o'clock be OK?" —at
the camera.

The attention accorded to Fierstein as a
representative of gay pride, and the consider-
able flair he brings to the role, sometimes con-
spire lo draw attention from the gift that
brought him to public notice in the first place.
In fact, at 34, he is recognized as one of the
most eloquent voices in contemporary theater.

That reputation is predicated, above all,
on “Torch Song Trilogy,” the nearly four-
hour-long, frankly autobiographical opus
that won 19835 Tony for Best Play. It also

“If gay people had enough self-respect to
stand up when somebody made a gay joke and
say, ‘Fuck you in the heart, you little asshole,
Pm gay and I resent that'—that would make
all the difference.”

won Fierstein a Best Actor award. In the role
of Arnold Beckoff, a nice Jewish boy whose
mother had wanted him to grow up as any

thing but a drag queen, his performance was
a tour de force. Yet it had taken four years for
the play to make its way uptown from off-off-
Broadway, perhaps because, he says, his ho-
mosexual protagonists “don't commit suicide
at the end or repent their evil ways."

In fact—and this certainty had no small
part in the plays eventual success—for all iis
candor and the depth of its gay sensibility,
“Torch Songs" values are essentially tradi-
tional ones. “Arnold Beckoff wants what most
people want,” the plays coproducer, John
Glines, once observed. "Hes very middle
class, and he wants a job he doesnt hate too
much, enough money to live comfortably and
someone to share it with. He wants a family
life. What Harvey proved was that you could
use a gay context and a gay experience and
speak universal truths.”

“Gay liberation should not be a license to
be a perpetual adolescent,” as Fierstein him-
self noted at the time, adding a postscript that
struck a chord within as many straights as
gays: “If you deny yourself commitment, then
what can you do with your life?”

Not, finally, that any of that should have
been surprising Fierstein grew up middle
class and, unlike many social activists, has

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RANOY O'ROURKE

“This is the sexual revolution, What we did
in the Sixties and Seventies was a bunch of
bullshit —child's play, kids let loose in a toy
store. The real discovery is that you have to
take responsibility for your actions.”

PLAYBOY

never disavowed or disparaged that back-
ground. Although he was a fal kid—by ado-
lescence, he weighed 240 pounds—he more
or less fil in.

It was to please his parents that after high
school, Fierstein studied painting at Brook-
byns Pratt Institute. But by then, having al-
ready made his stage debut —as a drag queen
in Andy Warhols “Pork"—he was in love
with the theater. For a while, he worked, like
Arnold Bechoff, us a female impersonator be-
fore turning to writing “ls a fine old theatri-
cal tradition,” he would later explain, “of
uncastable people who get frustrated and
start writing for themselves.”

Fiersteins early efforts— "Flatbush Tosca,”
“Cannibals Dont Know Better” “In Search
of the Cobra Jewels” (the last featuring a
cockroach chorus) —tended toward camp. It
was only with “Torch Song,” first produced at
the tiny downtown La Mama Theater (and
slated for release this year as a film, with Fier-
stein playing Arnold und Anne Bancroft as
his mother), that he displayed his range.

As a blockbuster musical, “La Cage aux
Folles” confirmed nol only his broad-based
commercial appeal but his status, as he char-
acterized it, as the first “real-live, out-of-the-
closet queer on Broadway

But by then, the AIDS epidemic had al-
ready begun to take its ghastly toll. Although
he had never professed to be a spokesman for
anyone but himself, Fierstein soon found hin-
self regularly called upon by the media to
speak out on the crisis, cast, despite hımsell,
as a kind of emissary from the gay community
to the straight, laboring to dispel the perva-
sive misconceptions about the disease and
those who have it. When he would later ap-
pear with physicians and AIDS researchers
on programs such as ABC's “Nightline,” of-
ten it was Fiersteins vivid. remarks, more
than the figures and the science, that made
the strongest and most memorable impression
on viewers.

Fierstein’s next play, “Safe Sex"—actualls,
a trio of one-ack—was also largely autobiv-
graphical and dealt with, among other
things, the dehumanizing impact of AIDS on
all of us. In the words of New York Times
drama critic Frank Rich, “If it would be
grotesque lo suggest that anything good has
come of AIDS, it can be said that the theater
has found its own voice in rising lo the dis
eases challenge.”

With evidence of public confusion about
the role of homosexuals in the spread of
AIDS, and a backlash against gays in some
parts of society, Playboy sent writer Harry
Stein to see Fierstein. The former “Ethics”
columnist for Esquire, Stein is the author of
“One of the Guys: The Wising Up of an
American Man.” His report:

“In a sense, Harvey is the easiest interview
in the world. It is rare to run across someone
both so at ease with his convictions and so
adept at expressing them. His passion, even
his intense dislikes—for the Reagans, for ex-
ample—are never tempered by the caution

that comes as second nature to most of those
in the public eye.

“Yet ut is that same quality—the tendency
lo come on so strong, to engage in verbal
overkill and, sometimes, deal in generali-
ties—thal makes talking with him such a
challenge. Harvey is a gifted performer, and
at the beginning of our conversations, il was
hard not to sense that what I was getting was
something of a creation, the public Fierstein.

“In retrospect, it ought to be acknowledged
that part of the problem —probably more mine
than his—had to do with our different sexual
orientations. Although we are roughly of the
same generation and social background, in
fundamental ways we have inhabited differ-
ent worlds; and, like most straight men, I ap-
proach his with a certain trepidation. It took
a little while to gel beyond all that. But, even-
we established considerable rapport.
tein spends a lot of his time alone
these days, with a pair of dogs in rural Con-
necticul—a seeming anomaly for a man
whose life and work are so closely linked to the
beat of the city. In fact, although he has b
means surrendered all his compulsions—he
continues to chain-smoke and to punish him-
self with a variety of diels—he is extraordi-

“Everything Гое done is
oul of cowardice. I was
too stubborn to go along
with the world, so I made
the entire world gay."

narily at ease there, more than once
interrupling our conversation to point out
the window at some natural magnificence.
You should hear the Canada geese honking
late at night, he noted at one point. "ft sounds
just like the Belt Parkway in Brooklyn. Then
‘you go outside, and they're flying against the
full moon, and you're in a Walt Disney
movie.

“But, no, the man will never be confused
with Marlin Perkins. For although Ihe gen-
tleness of spirit has much to do with his dis
tinctive voice, it plays off a gritty, often
outrageous honesty.

“A couple of weeks after our first meeting,
1 found him in his other new home, a duplex
in a just-completed building on New York's
Upper West Side, surrounded by paintings
and prints waiting to be hung, making plans
to head up to Toronto to shoot one of the “Safe
Sex’ plays for HBO.

“You know, he said, nodding toward the
bedroom upstairs, Tve got no curtains up
there yet, and this morning, when I got out of
the shower, I noticed there were all these work-
теп on the roof of the building across the
way, staring in at me. What could I do? I
walked over to the window and stared right
back. He smiled and shrugged. Ч figured

they were the ones who ought to be embar-
rassed, not me." "

PLAYBOY: We understand that as a child,
you were a regular reader of th
magazine.

FIERSTEIN: Incredibly enough, yes. We had
some relatives in Ellenville, New York, and
the two boys were Ihe same age as my
brother and I. They had some books there,
really dirty books. Every other word was
fuck and shit.

PLAYBOY: How old were you then?
FIERSTEIN: Oh, I had to be, like, nine, ten.
Anyway, one time, my mother opened up
one of these books and she practically had
cardiac arrest. So my parents made a deal
with my brother and me. If we didnt read
these gross books anymore, they'd get
subscription to Playboy.

Of course, what my parents didn't know
was that very few of the pictures really en-
ticed me. I liked only the Sex in Cinema
features. Those were the only pictures that
1 found at all sexy because they had men
in them.

PLAYBOY: So you already knew you were
gay.

FIERSTEIN: Oh, yes. Gay. I was so gay, they
don't make them any gayer.

PLAYBOY: How was it to be surrounded by
all the heterosexual stimuli as a child?
What did you feel about yourself the
FIERSTEIN: | would say that anybody who is
an out-of-the-closet gay, or even a practic-
ing gay person, has gonc through morc
analysis in his own head than he'd get
from paying some Freudian analyst
$4,000,000. Because what happens when
you're a kid is that you go through an iden-
tity search, When straight kids go through
it—boom!—they come up with the answer
and they fit right in.

What happens with a gay kid is, you go
through this identity search and you come
out with the wrong answer. Then you go
through it again and you come out with the
wrong answer. And then you come out
again with the wrong answer. So you're
constantly rethinking your feelings, fig-
uring out where you fit in. Am I a man
trapped in a woman's body? Am Ia woman
trapped in a man’s body? Is homosexuality
normal? Am I gay because my mother
yelled at me and my father didn't? 1 mean,
you deal with all these questions on a basic
level before you even know that psycholog-
I theories exist.

PLAYBOY: Do you remember your first ho-
mosexual stirrings? Was there a moment
when you said to yourself, I'm attracted to
boys as opposed to girls?

FIERSTEIN: No. 1 just always was. I always
had more in common with the sex-
ual games. And wı attracted 10
men. I remember at 51е
many nights I
to sleep and being hon
get into bed with my counselor. He n
have been 18, but, to me, he was this big
man and he wore this cowboy hat and this

Instant-on radar:

How it works. How to defend yourself.

Instant.on radar—sometimes called “pulse”

radar—has been around for years. But it's being

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Ordinary radar and instanton radar use
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In an ordinary radar trap. the radar gun is
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DOING IT WRONG

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PLAYBOY

butchtooking outfit and all the girls car-
ried on with him. But / slept in bed with
him. And this was before, obviously, 1
knew anything about sex.
PLAYBOY: Did vou talk with anyone about
it? Could you confide in your brother?
FIERSTEIN: No. You know, I always thought I
was extremely honest with myself. Then,
all of a sudden, something happens. I'll
give you an example. A while back, my
mother came to visit me for the weckend
and—you know how mothers arc—she
brought this big bag full of old junk she
thought I might want to have. There was
one piece of paper in an envelope. I
opened it and I freaked, It was опе of
those notes family members leave for one
another on the kitchen table, saying where
we are and when well be back. My hand-
writing was on it, but I didn't consciously
read it. 1 just started yelling at my mother
to stop dragging up ghosts. "If you want to
save this kind of crap, go ahead!” I shout-
ed. “But don't ini on the rest of us!”
Even J couldnt understand why I had re-
acted the way I had. So a few days later, I
mentioned it to my brother, and he asked
what was in the note. “I dont know,” I said.
“All I remember is that 1 quoted a Joni
Mitchell song—you know: ‘Tve looked at
life from both sides now.” He said, “You
don't remember the ‘both sides now’ note?
It's when you came out to the family.”
And, of course, I had totally blocked it,
Because, in my case, there were no fights
to remember no screaming. Maybe
hghung it out would have helped at that
age. I dont know.
PLAYBOY: How did your father react?
FIERSTEIN: The only thing I specifically re-
member was, we were taking the dog to
the vet in Jersey, and during the car ride,
he asked me if I wanted to try a prostitute,
I was 13 years old. And I said no, it wasn't
necessary. | dont know how painful it was
for him. but it was definitely never dealt
with by that screaming, yelling crap that
you see on television.
PLAYBOY: You were very lucky.
FIERSTEIN: Yes, I was extremely lucky But,
n a funny way, my parents had no choice,
because that’s how they brought us up—
that whatever you believed in you should
stand bel
PLAYBOY.
troubled childhood.
FIERSTEIN: Just bizarre. Because the entire
time, I was also going through these stages
of trying to figure out who I was in this
world that didn't match. Back then you
never saw a homosexual anywhere
PLAYBOY: There was no guilt, no feeling
there was something wrong with you?
FIERSTEIN: Not at all. You know, people say
how brave 1 am about what I've done and
all that. I say it's the opposite. Everything
I've done is out of cowardice, out of fear of
being different. I was too stubborn to go
along with the world, so I made the entire
world gay: I wanted the entire world to see
that homosexuality is normal and th
the way a lot of us are

n extremely un-

PLAYBOY: But, again, you were lucky never
to have been ostracized by your family.
Lots of gays are rejected by their parents
when they come out.
FIERSTEIN: Yes, but 1 always think it's their
fault, too. I mean, I just went through it
with somebody whose lover was dying of
AIDS. He went home to tell his family—
iblings and his parents—that he
was gay He just dropped it on them.

1 certainly understood that he needed
the support of his family. But that's just not
the way to do it. You dont just walk in the
door when you're 30 years old and say,
“Guess what? I'm gay and my lover is dying
of AIDS!” Who wouldn't freak? He went to
them as this desperately needy person and
expected (hem to act out this scenario that
he'd written in his mind: “Oh, Johnny, we
love you so and we don't care that you're
gay and you poor thing!" Instead, the fam-
ily had this big meeting, and they decided
that if they all pulled back from him, he
would change his ways.

But, of course, he was doing the same
thing to them. He was also going in unpre-
pared 10 compromise. It was set up to be a
disaster. Not that there would be any mis-
taking whose side Г on. The fact is, I
have trouble even with most heterosexuals
who profess to “understand” us.

PLAYBOY: That's certainly a recurrent
theme in your writing.
FIERSTEIN: Thank God we live in a time

when at least I'm able to write about it. It's
Just been in the past ten years that all these

writers who have always been gay are
finally getting to write gay characters, are
finally able 10 exp
having to ch
to Leonora

ss themselves without
nge the name from Leonard
But, even now, “welkinten-
ight people, if they sec a gay
play in which the main character is love-
less, or miserable and self-destructive,
they're going to love it. But if a gay person
is happy and proud and triumphs at the
end, they're going to hate it and call it a
whitewash of homosexua
Straight critics
Song Trilogy, 1 "steal" the values of hearth
and home and family. When the fuck did
heterosexuals get the patent on home
love and hearth and family? These
man te For the three years that
Song ran on Broadway, in every int
Га say, "This is а gay play” The journal
“It's not a gay play, 1

we're all human beings. But it is a gay pl.
and you will not take that away from me.”
And then Ud read the article and, of
course, it would say, "Torch Song is a uni-
versal play" [Laughs]

PLAYBOY: Do you think straight people
were surprised to find that they could per-
ceive gays as human beings, feel the same
things that they felt

FIERSTEIN: Yes. Since the show moved them,
they had to adopt it. It couldn't be gay, it
had to be universal. Otherwise, they'd

have to stand back and say, “Oh, my God,
this is a gay play I relate to this gay play!”
That was somehow threatening to them. It
was the same thing with La Cage aux
Folles. When I was brought in on that show,
it was set in New Orleans. The first thing 1
said was that we had to move it back to the
French Riviera, where the movie had been
set. Why? Because, for the audience, it's
safe to have gay people in this foreign
place. After all, everything is sort of queer
10 start with, everything is sort of differ-
ent. But when the same thing happens in
America, it frightens people right away

PLAYBOY: You've often expressed anger at
what you see as condescension by the
straight world toward the gay world.

FIERSTEIN: Well, look what happened dur-
ing the last big vote in Congress on AIDS
education! [Senator] Jesse Helms stood up
and attacked a Gay Mens Health Crisis
comic book that had drawings of men hav-
ing safe sex, showing how 10 make your
lover put on a condom. Helms held it up as
pornography. He called the [1987] AIDS
march on Washington a mob of perverted
human beings and a national disgrace, and
the amendment lost by a vote of 94 to two.
They voted to take away safe-sex funding.
Only Lowell Weicker and Pat Moynihan
voted for it. All the other liberals—our so-
called friends—voted against

1 was asked afterward about our
friends—the Ted Kennedys and so forth,
We homosexuals are fine to these liber-
als—they love us—as long as we don't get
into bed. as long as we don't have sex.
They'll shake our hands, they'll march
with us, they'll go for ga 1 rights,
they'll talk about housing and employment
and all that, but don't have sex, Please, dont
do that. Don't put that thing in your
mouth. Please, dont put that thing in your
mouth! It scares the shit out of them.

1 trust the Catholic Church as much as 1
trust Ted Kennedy 105 exactly the same.
Were told that the Church loves homoses
uals, it just hates homosexuality. What does
that mean? It's like saying I love the idea of
Christianity, I just hate the Church. Either
you love people and accept them for what
do or you dont. And if they do some-
you don't like, but they're not
hurting anyonc, you deal with it in what-

ever way you have to. But you don't tell them
how to live their lives. You don't say, “You
сап be alive as long as you don't take your

dick out.” Thats none of your goddamn
business! Of course, people like that love to
bring up things like bestiality [Laughs]
Well, I've been gay a lot of years and I've
known alot of gay people, and I never met
one who had sex with a dog. Maybe I live a
sheltered life.

PLAYBOY: We didnt know people linked
iality to homosexuality:

Thats what | mean. It’s like
There is exactly the
percentage of transvestites in the straight
community as in the gay community. If ten
percent of the world is gay, ten percent of

same

all transvestites are gay But, of course,
transvestites are what get thrown in oi
faces. Bestial transvestite teachers. If.
you find a teacher who's a transvestite, it's
90 percent more likely that he is going to
be a heterosexual than a homosexual.
And, of course, the ever-popular “child
molester.” We've long known the truth
about that. All the figures show that gay
people don't go out and do that to children
any more than straight people do.
PLAYBOY: But there is a correlation between
being gay and early sex, isn't there?
FIERSTEIN: Yes, a lot of gays do start having
sex at a young age. I was having sex at 13.
But that’s not specifically gay, either.
‘There's a line in Torch Song—the 15-year-
old kid says it—to the effect that no matter
how many petitions people sign, they can't
get God to change the age of puberty to
18. Kids have sex, period. When I camc out
at 13, it was against the law for anybody of
age to sleep with me. But 1 needed to cx-
nent. I needed sex. My mother works
a junior high school and, believe me,
things haven't changed. The danger in sex
today is the lack of educa
PLAYBOY: What do you mea
FIERSTEIN: My worry now is for straight
people—kids and adults. If you look at the
ics out of San Francisco, the gay com-
ty has learned how not to get AIDS.
People getting sick now have mostly been
carrying the virus for a long time and are
now getting full-blown AIDS or develop-

ing ARC [AIDS-related complex]. So Im
not as worried about the gay community,
because I know that we've learned what
to do.

It's straight ignorance that is really most
dangerous. The ones I'm worried about
are married men who are getting infected
There's a parking lot a couple of miles
from here in Brooklyn where these
ight guys, on their way home from
work, pullin and suck each other off. And
they are going to take it back to their wives.
I go past the Metropolitan movie theater. 1
see the guys going in and outof there. And
I know what they're doing in there because
of what / used to do in there. And then
they go home to their nice little wives.
PLAYBOY: V me prepared to talk
about the devastation of AIDS in ıhe ho-
mosexual community. You say your con-
cern is with the straight commun
FIERSTEIN: You bet. I worry about the girl
who gets sent on her 16th birthday to a ski
lodge and meets a boy and is 100 embar-
rassed to ask him to use a condom. So she
gets over the trauma of “Oh, my God, 1
had sex” and goes home and goes to school
and all that, graduates from college and
gets married, and then she has a baby, and
all of a sudden, she's positive and she's dy-
ing. She has AIDS.

PLAYBOY: Last ycar, Playboy published an
article sugge: AIDS was not going.
to spread to the heterosexual community
as had been anticipated. Other articles in

medical journals, in The New York Times
and in Cosmopolitan have added to a con-
sensus that the risk is overwhelmingly
confined to gays and drug users

FIERSTEIN: | don't believe that. 1 know
somebody who was just now diagnosed
Straight. Never been with men. Never
abused drugs. Got it [rom a prostitute. I
mean, that's the only place he could have
gotten it, or [rom an old girlfriend he
hasn't seen in ten years.

PLAYBOY: Thats pretty anecdotal. Studies
are beginning to show that heterosexual
victims, when followed up, end up admit-
ting either to homosexual experiences or
to drug abuse.

FIERSTEIN: Well, we all know that it’s a dis-
that has a long incubation period.
ght people are not going for voluntary
testing. Married men who do prostitutes
and are maybe doing drugs, or maybe have
¡end on the side—none of these
pcople are going for voluntary testing. We
will not find out about them for maybe an-
other ten years.

PLAYBOY: It has been studied now for cight
s, and the statistics appear to show that
г to 1987, two percent of AIDS cases
were heterosexual without apparent con-
tributing factors. And there has been no
increase in that percentage.

FIERSTEIN: I just dont believe that. The cas-
es that are reported to the CDC [Centers
for Disease Control], 1 believe, are less
than ten percent of the real cases in the

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PLAYBOY

United States. IF you
AIDS and you went to your private doctor,

tion—that you have a wile and children
and this and that—is going to report you
to the CDC? No. Believe me.

PLAYBOY: But still, isn't there a real fear
among gays that if, i
ved in the public m
discase of the high-risk groups, those
groups are going to be abandoned, with no

real help from the comm

FIERSTEIN: Whats new? That's the way it
was and that’s the way it still is. Where do
you sec any other support? 1 don't see why
you think that if it remains a gay disease

irs going to make it any different. We still
'

¡se all the money. We're still out there do-
g all the work.

PLAYBOY: The truth is, until AIDS was seen
as a heterosexual problem, there wasn't
much concern about il

FIERSTEIN: No. It was the “gay plague,” and
how many straights really worried about
? But I think its important to note,
given all the awful news, that, for the gay
community, there have been some positive
pects to the AIDS crisis. First, no one can
deny any more how many of us there are.
Just from the numbers of people who are
They know that we're everywhere.
re 25,000,000 gay people in Amer-
ка. Everyone knows now that Rock Hud-
son was gay, but they have no idea how
зу of the stars they worship on a daily
basis are gay.

But it gives people the feeling that they
can't be absolutely sure about anyone.
‘They say, “Oooh, you never know, do you?
Liberace was no great shock to America. I
mean, even the stupidest person could
have figured him out. But Rock Hudson
really shook up people. I remember way
back, when I was about 14 or 15 and just
getting into the theatrical world, I told my
mother that Rock Hudson was gay. She
went into a depression for the longest time.
PLAYBOY: She believed you?

FIERSTEIN: Oh, yes. She already knew my in-
formation was good.

Another positive thing that's come out of
AIDS is that a lot of gay people are being
more supportive of one another than ever
before. There was a recent study that indi-
cated that in the three years since it was
determined that AIDS is sexually trans-
n pletely stopped
the epidemic in the gay community. And
that would not be happening if the gay
community were not strong—and out of
the closet
PLAYBOY: Isn't it also true that the stigma of
being gay—among straights—has been

greatly magnified by AIDS?
FIERSTEIN: Yes, definitely, there's some of
that. | have a friend whos a dentist who

works with children. Although he is out
privately, he feels that theres no way he
could come out publicly now, because par-
ents would stop going to him. So, yes,
there's some of that.

But, actually, 1 think there's a lot more of

the opposite. In general, 1 don't see that
people are more scared to be identified as
gay now. | mean, when you're first coming
ош, you're up against so many things.
That is one more obstacle. And if any
thing, in my mind, it’s not as much a real
problem as it is one more reason not to
come out, one morc excuse not to be real.
PLAYBOY: But let's take as an example your
friend the dentist. Objectively, wouldn't a
lot of people, gay and straight, hesitate in
this atmosphere to go to a gay dentist?
Right or wrong, who wants to have some-
body who may be infected putting his
hands in his mouth?

FIERSTEIN: 1 don't think that gay people
would. But maybe we should define our
terms, create a Harvey dictionary. When I
talk about gay people, I'm talking about
sclf-accepting gay people, people who are
out of the closet. 1 dont suggest that every-
body do what I did—go on The Tonight
Show and talk about being gay. I'm talking
about people who are openly gay, whose
friends are gay and who have no trouble
with that. There's another kind of gay per-
son who says, “What I do in my private
is my business," and all that and hides
the closet. 1 don't consider him really gay.
PLAYBOY: What do you consider him?
FIERSTEIN: 1 consider him homosexual. In
that group are all the married men who go
to truck stops and the guy who works as a
banker and thinks nobody at the bank
knows.

My gay people are not scared to go toa
gay doctor or dentist. always encourage
people to go to gay doctors, even straight
people! I say, "Go to gay doctors; they
know about diseases!” | mean, we went
through hepatitis B. We've gone through
many strains of syphilis and. gonorrhea
and now AIDS. And so gay doctors do
tend more to stay up on things and put a
lot more work into being doctors.
PLAYBOY: But getting back to your friend
the dentist, presumably his practice is
mostly straight ——

FIERSTEIN: Yeah, because it's children.
PLAYBOY: And would you really argue that
his practice wouldn't be hurt if he came
out of the closet?

FIERSTEIN: That question would never even
occur to me. And if it did—if people are
that ignoram—then maybe he should be
out there educating, instead of being
scared that hes not making the almighty
dollar. It is not worth lying. There is noth-
ing worth lying about. There's nothing to
be embarrassed about in being gay. And
for him to consider, above everything else,
that it may hurt his practice is, to me, di
gusting and is not worth even thinking
about. 1 could not, obviously, do anything
in which I had to hide who I Я

But think about how many gay people
have children! And how m: others
would like to. When Torch Song was being
performed, people would ask my opinion
about gay adoption. I would say, “Give us
the retarded children, just the retarded
kids. Well take care of them. Close the or-

phanages.” If straight people weren't so
fucking uptight, convinced that those chil-
dren would be sexually abused—for which
theres no proof whatever!—we could close
every orphanage in the world. We'd take
the unwanted children. We have the mon-
cy the love and the caring. And we have
the community 10 support one another.

PLAYBOY: Having scen so much death by
АП

„апа so close at hand.
it done to you personally?
FIERSTEIN: [Pauses] lis a very, very very
complex qu ditionally, through-
out history, each generation has had wo
ids of loss. First, almost every genera-
war, because as long as
there have been heterosexuals, there has
been war. People die. And then, of course,
there is the period when one’s friends and
intances grow older and die.

But we, in our time—particularly those
of us in the gay community —we have had
a minimum of four periods of loss, We had
Vietnam and we had our normal cycle of
aging to look forward to. But we also had
drugs. I lost a lot of friends to drugs. Some
others, if they didnt actually die, fried
their brains, and aren't much good now.
Now we have AIDS, betore going on to lose
everybody else. It is incredibly unfair.

Now, it's safe to say that the majority of
people in this country do not know about
the AIDS generation firsthand. They've
read about it in People magazine, maybe.
But Im on my third personal phonebook
this year, because I couldn't stand to see
the crossed-ofl names an
credibly many names crossed off. Take
something as hnite as Torch Song, that one
show. I lost both of the men who played my
lover. I lost one of the actors who played
my son. And I lost one of my pianists,
That’s four out of a group of 15. On La
Cage aux Folles, we've had six deaths al-
ready.

In terms of other friends and acquaint-
ances, the numbers are beyond phenome-
nal. 1 had a week when five people died, It
was just every day. his one died, that
one died, this one died, that one died.
They weren't, necessarily, all people I wa
close to, but they kept dying.
PLAYBOY: Have you taken the
yourself?

FIERSTEIN: No. 1 would never test
the difference? If Im po:

x If Tm negative—which 1 probably am;
it’s been a lonnng time since Гус had un-
wouldn't change my lifestyle
L wouldn't be any less relaxed or
ng about people who are positi

Whats
tive, Га just wor-

syph those are
things you can do something about right
now. But test for AIDS—what for?

PLAYBOY: For the relief of knowing one way
or another.
FIERSTEIN: Listen, if I get
it. Frankly, I wonder why people would
even want to know they're negative. People
sometimes say 10 me,
most like a boast. Do they think that makes

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PLAYBOY

them sexier 10 me? Does that replace “I've

got eight inches
PLAYBOY: Have you nursed anyone through
the illness yourself?

FIERSTEIN: No, I've never been a primary
nurse for somcone who is dying. I've been
secondary, tertiary. 1 had to play a very
strong role with one friend, a very strong
role in his death. He was one of the boys
who played my son in Torch Song. Twenty-
two years old, Another friend and I spent
most of a day trying to get him to dit
PLAYBOY: What do you me:
FIERSTEIN: He was virtually dead already.
He was paralyzed. He couldn't swallow. He
hadnt eaten in weeks. They had to take
him off diapers, because his ass was rotting
away from lying.

PLAYBOY: Bed sores?

FIERSTEIN: Beyond bed sores. He wa
travenous morphine just to keep down the
pain. He couldn't really talk anymore. He
made no sense. His brain was gone. He was
bald from the radiation. There was noth-
ing left of him. There was nobody there
anymore. He was dead, but they would not
let him dic. They kept dumping more and
more medicine into him. And so we tried
10 talk him through to death, because we
didn’t want him to die alone or in pain. We
worked with him for hours, trying to help
him let go. I began by talking to him about
my country house. He'd been too sick to go
there. He loved flowers. I'd been sending
n photographs almost daily. Га go out
and take photographs ol the garden and
send him pictures of lowers, and every
time I went down to see him, Id cut
flowers from the garden for him. What I
was doing that day in the hospital was tak-
ing him on walks through the garden,
mental walks. And then, eventually, 1 was
going to bring him to the light and let him
go through the light and pass on. So what
happened is that we were walking, looking
at the flowers, and he said, “Can we pick
some of these?”

PLAYBOY: He was talking through that? He
heard everything?

FIERSTEIN: Yes. See, he was very materialis-
tic. Thats why he was hangi
He always wanted somethi
And so he picked some irises. Then we
went on to the next flower. After 20 flowers
or so, he finally got beyond picking them,
which was real good. 1 felt we were getting
somewhere. Then I said, "Now we're com-
ing around the bend, a little bridge. Isn't it
beautiful?" He said, "Its red, isn't i 5,
it's a red bridge, а red Japanese bridge.’
And he went over to the pond to see Ihe
ater. “Now let's wade into the pond.” But
suddenly, he started freezing up. “No, no,
no. Not the pond!" And I remembered he
was scared of water. [Laughs]

It took a while, but I finally got the mood
right again. But then there knock on
the door! The nurse had to come in and
stick a thermometer up his ass. So that ef-
fort was killed. My friend arrived and the

onin-

1woof us went to work. But every time we'd
just about get him through, something
would go wrong. Someone would come in
or there'd be a loud noi the hall. It was
frustrating, comic, almost. We got him to
dic six or seven times, but hc always came
back to tell us about it. I . don't
tell us about it. Just go away"

PLAYBOY: What do you mean, “Dont tell u
about it"? About what?

FIERSTEIN: This is where you get into con-
troversy. Many people believe that when

they're near death, they see the light and
people they know and all that. But what it
is is the brain shutting down. Have you ev-
er had heat prostration? Everything gocs
. That's what people

white. The same thi
who are dying see and tha
There are those who believe it’s a physical
r as I do, and those who believe
they are entering heaven.

We finally got him to the point where he
saw lights and people, some he knew and
some he didn't, and he thought they were
angels. It was very funny, because he was at
the gateway as they say but he just
wouldn't go through. He said, “Is it re:
Vm scared to go there.” And I said, “Hon-
ey you're walking. Look at your legs. You
can move your legs. Look at your arms.
You can move your arms. You're talking.
You have hair. And think about yourself in
this bed. You cant even move your fingers.
You can't swallow. You haven't had a drink
of water in three weeks. Youre asking if
thats real? Go, baby, go.” I felt very good
that we got him there, so that he knew
there was nothing to be scared of. He:
buried now in my back yard.

PLAYBOY: How many people have you seen
die in the past few years?

FIERSTEIN: I have no idea. I have no idea
Far more than I ever thought I would. And
Tl tell you something. There is also an im-
pact watching the people who ha
disease. People with AIDS [PW.A.] are dif-
ferent from body else. They know
something that none of us will ever know.
A while back, 1 was going to write а play
about somebody with AIDS, and a PW.
said to me, “You have no idea what it's like.
I don't care how well you know me or any-
body else who has died of AIDS or is sick;
there’s no way that anyone else can know
what it’s like." He meant that when you
have AIDS, you don't simply have a disease
like cancer.

PLAYBOY: What do you have?

o start with, when you have
оште part of a media event. When
you have AIDS, vou also have everything
that comes with it. The judgment of people
about how much sex you've had in your life
and what kind, or the suspicion that you
shoot up drugs and all the rest—every
nasty, filthy lie that is told about homosex
als. The fact is, theres nothing wrong with
having had a lol of sex. Theres nothing
wrong with putting your arms around
someone, even if you dont know them very

very real.

well, and kissing them and holding them
and having a good time with them and
then going away feeling great. But judg
ment comes with AIDS! There's also a cer-
tain look in the eyes that I've noticed. You
hate making generalizations like this, but
there is a certain look I seein everyone Ive
met who has this disease.

PLAYBOY: What do you mean?

FIERSTEIN: Something that sets them apart.
It usually does not appear at first, during
the denial stage. But once in the accept-
ance stage, there's a certain look that just
hits you in the heart. It's a kind of despera-
tion, but not the sort you see in other peo-
ple who know they're dying.

And although most people with AIDS
lose a lot of weight, it doesn’t have to do
with that, either. In fact, when AIDS pa-
tients start taking A.Z.T, theres usually a
honeymoon period when they start
putting weight back on—but it doesn't af-
fect the look in the eyes. Those AIDS eyes!
I joke.

PLAYBOY: You say that the gay commu
has changed its behavior because of
AIDS—it's practicing safe sex. Wasn't that
a big change for gays? Isn't sex more im-
portant to gays than to straights, if only as
a unifying factor for the community?

FIERSTEIN: | dont believe that its more im-
portant. I do think of it as the only iden-
tifiable trait that we share. We're not white,
we're not black; we're homosexual, But the
thing is, if people really were comfortable
with sale sex, things wouldn't have to
change. You can sleep with 1000 people a
night and never be at risk. Even if all 1000
people had AIDS. People dont have to stop
having sex. You just have to know what
you're doing
PLAYBOY: Nevertheless, do you believe that
the sexual revolution—gay and straight—
is over, that we're doomed to return to the
secular mores of the Fifti
FIERSTEIN: Not at all. Thi
lution. What we did
early Seventies was a bunch of bullshii—
child's play kids let loose in a toy store see
ing how many possibilities there were. You
dont have to change your lifestyle 10 do
that. The real discovery is that you have to
take responsibility for your actions,

sponsibility both for vourself and for your
partine:

PLAYBOY: What do you think of the new
candor in talking about all of this—the

public-service commercials telling kids e:
plicitly to use condoms, and so forth?

FIERSTEIN: I think that’s absolutely good. It
goes back to peoples having respect for
their own body. In the long run, people are
so desperate for affection that they think
to challenge somebody else is going to take
that affection from them. [/mitates teenage
girl] "But il I say t o my boyfriend, it's
like telling him he has AIDS! I cant do
that to him. Нех so nice and he wont call
me anymore!” Well, if you dont respe
yourself enough to protect your own life,

and he doesn't respect you for wanting to
protect both of you, then what do you want
this person for?

Look, syphilis and gonorrhea are both
And both are sporadically in epi-
proportions in the United States.
Why? Because we don't talk about sex.
And because magazines like this one keep
it dirty:

Just look at the personal ads in so many
gay and straight publications. They're in-
credible. 1 think all the loneliness in this
society, all the separation of people from
people, has to do with self-hatred. The
woman who stays with a husband who
beats her is staying because she doesnt
think she deserves any better. Kids who
are incest victims don't report it, because
they believe on some level that they're at
fault. It’s not just gay people. It has to do
with childhood, too. It has to do with hear-
ing no much more than yes. It has to do
with being told to stand in line instead of
being urged to explore and find out on
your own. It has to do with the way society
operates.

PLAYBOY: And yet, isn't it also true that
men, whether they're straight or gay, tend
to view relationships differently from the
way women do? By and large, isn't the ini-
tial impulse among men sexual, with the
emotional dimension afterward? While for
women, doesnt it generally seem to be the
other way around?

FIERSTEIN: Absolutely. And it's magnified in
the gay community, because you're putting
together two men or two women. The old
joke is that there's no such thing as a one-
night stand for 2 woman. You know, they
move in for at least six years. And with
guys, it's, Never ask somebody's name until
you've had sex. [Laughs] Actually, that’s
something that's nice—dating is coming
back. 1 mean, when I was a kid, that’s what
I wanted to do. I wanted to go to dinner. I
wanted to go to the movies. I didn't even
know about casual sex then; I thought you
dated and maybe had sex while you were
dating, and eventually, you either stayed
together or went on looking for Mr. Right.

1 mean, I've had more than my share of
back-room sex—wham, bam, thank you,
ma'am. That wasa lot of fun, too. But even
then, I wanted to do the other thing. Even
when | was having sex on a three-or-four-
night-a-week basis, ten, 20 men a night,
that thought was always there—someday,
your prince will come. I mean, maybe
tonight will be different, maybe the fourth
dick I suck tonight will be him.

But back then, nobody wanted to date.
Now, all of a sudden, this new possil
has been given to us.

PLAYBOY: Romance.

FIERSTEIN: Yeah. Real romance. Well, we al-
ways had romance and love, but they more
often happened by accident. It was after
you'd had sex and you were lying there
and you really didn't want to leave and he
didn't want to leave, and then you figured
out there might be something.

PLAYBOY: Those figures you mentioned—

ten, 20 men a night
FIERSTEIN: You have to remember one
thing: les so easy for two men to have sex,
so much easier physically than for two
women, and that figures into it, 100. You
just open the zipper, flop the thing out,
and you do it. You can do it standing in a
bar; you can do it at the Metropolitan Op-
era: suck cach other off during the show
With women, its much harder. For most
women, it takes a lot more than standing
and grinding against your partner's leg on
the dance floor, while two men can have
sex on a dance floor with their clothes on
grinding up against each other. The old
dry hump, as it were.

PLAYBOY: The sheer number of partners is
still stunning to a lot of straight men. Ten
years ago, we used to hear straight men say,
“Boy, it must be fantastic to be gay and just

FIERSTEIN: For a long time, | wasa great fan
of anonymous sex. I much preferred
anonymous sex to getting into bed with
somebody and having to deal with whether
you'd have to get dressed to go home or
how you'd get rid of him. I had a little sur-
vival kit for someone Га bring home; it
had atoken in it and instructions on how to
get to the train station and two aspirins.
On the other hand, I've lived with people
who prefer a monogamous relationship.
One thing to remember, though, is that
gay couples operate under disadvantages
that straight couples dont have. You can
have the most open relationship with your
mother, but you still wor't get the
support from her that you would
relationship. You're not going to
“You can work it out; do it for the
sake of the children.” They don't think a
gay breakup is nearly as bad as a divorce.
PLAYBOY: But you often have long-term gay
relationships in your pl:
FIERSTEIN: Yeah. And I've had friends say to
me, “Oh, come on, Harvey, you know, you
and your plays... [hats really not possi-
ble.” Well, I was very lucky, because the
first gay couple I knew were together al-
most 40 years. So I know it is possible. Not
only possible but highly pleasurable. And
they had a wonderful relationship.
PLAYBOY: Do people really hope your rela-
tionships won't work out?
FIERSTEIN: Oh, it's not as simple as that. But
when I broke up with my last lover, every-
body was delighted. [Laughs]
PLAYBOY: They didn't like him?
FIERSTEIN: No, they liked him a lot. They
just didn't like me married. It cut down on
my time with them. I had a relationship
that I had to work at, spend time on. I did
have a relationship once, the one that Torch
Song is loosely based on, in which we had
something that I didn't think was possible.
1 really did love him and he really did love
me and it was the kind of love that didn’t
ever have to be discussed. I always knew
what he was thinking. He always knew
what I was thinking.
PLAYBOY: Do you still scc him?

FIERSTEIN: Occasionally. And the connec-
m's always there.

PLAYBOY: In the play, the character thinks
of himself as heterosexual. Did this guy
see himself that way?

FIERSTEIN: Yes. Desperately.

PLAYBOY: And he thinks of his gay past as
an aberration that he has overcome?
FIERSTEIN: I don't think he can deal with it.
He's married now, just like the guy in the
play, but he never looks happy to me any-
more. He used to be one of the happiest
people I knew. Happy in his work, happy
in his home life. Interested in a lot of
things. He loved theater, music, his work as
a teacher. And when I see him now, he
seems very boring, as if he were partially
dead, as if that part of him has just died.
PLAYBOY: Did you know a lot of men like
him, who are homosexual but who live
lives of heterosexuality?

FIERSTEIN: A lot. In fact, I assume a person
is gay unless I’m told otherwise. I used to
be attracted to the, shall we say, straight-
acting man. I dated a lot of them in my
young days. And something Гуе noticed in
my sexual study, which is very unscientific,
is that the butcher they are, the more they
like to get fucked.

I used to be a Christopher Street queen.
"There were a lot of queens on the street,
and we didn't have money to go into bars
and drink, so we'd just hang out on the
street and cruise from the time it got warm
in the spring till it got too cold in the fall.
And one of the first rules you learned was,
If you want to get fucked, pick up a drag
queen. If you want something to fuck, pick.
up a butch guy, because butch guys, their
legs go up like they're attached to helium
balloons. Another rule, by the way, was,
Never let them take you to New Jersey.

You'd rather die than get stuck in New
Jersey.

But I wouldn't sleep with a married man
now. Even then, I knew it was morally
wrong. ‘They'd have a wife at home who
didn't know that the other woman she was
fighting was a man. And there was no way
she could compete, because that's who her
husband really was. Gay.

You look at the ads in the gay press.
Look how many of those ads are people
who are looking for "right after work" or
"in the afternoon." The ten percent of the
population that is gay doesnt include those
guys. Theres probably a much larger per-
centage who are actually gay in our society.
"The point is, you can stick it in any hole.
You know, there are real straight men who
can have gay sex. It doesn't make them gay.
And there are plenty of gay people, as we
know, who have straight sex, and it doesn't
make them straight. It has nothing to do
with learning to stick it in onc hole or the
other. It has to do with who you are inside.
PLAYBOY: What do you look for in a rela-
tionship now?

FIERSTEIN: Who knows? [Laughs] I can tell
you all about bad relationships but not
about great ones. 1 mean, you know that
book Smart Women, Foolish Choices? That's

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the story of my life. 1 do know, though, that
1 want somebody who really likes life and
really likes what he’s doi
and is able to share that intimate part of
himself. I don't want to have to entertain
someone. I've done that a lot of times. I
don't want someone who needs to be taken
care of; that’s not my idea of a relationship.
1 want somebody secure enough to leave
me alone. And trustworthy, because I'm
the jealous type. 1 dont know if all that's
possible. But I imagine it is.

PLAYBOY: That's what everyone wants.
FIERSTEIN: Yeah. Well, it took me a long time
to realize it. I thought what I wanted was
that all-encompassing love: The two of you
don't breathe unless you're together. And I
finally figured out that ain't it.

s the adolescent fantasy.

has had on the lives of gay men. Are you
concerned by what some perceive as an
antigay backlash?

FIERSTEIN: Look, let's put it in perspective.
There are 40,000 cases of AIDS. And the
majority of those are LV-drug users. For
arguments sake, let's say there are 500,000
people affected with the AIDS virus, and
lets say 250,000 of them are gay. T hat still
is only onc percent of the gay community, a
tiny minority a minority. [Accord-
ing to the CDC, of 59,000 cases of AIDS,
18 percent are I. V-drug users.] AIDS and
homosexuality theres no equal sign be-
t the two. What I'm saying is that "ter-
ror" is ridiculous; it doesnt make sense.
PLAYBOY: But it's not a question of logic.
Are you saying that straight attitudes have
had no impact on gay life?

FIERSTEIN: Sure, occasionally, you hear
things. 1 got a call from a young woman
who goes to a college in Virginia, and she
said that in the cafeteria, they've been
passing out really hateful antigay material,
PLAYBOY: And you were surprised?
FIERSTEIN: In a college? Yeah. My feeling is
that history doesn’t go backward. It can re-
peat itself, but it’s always progressing on
another level. Im not denying the degree
of fear out there, OF course people are
afraid. But honestly facing that fear, secing
it for what it is, is the only way of putting it
10 rest. And its not just straight people.
veral years ago, onc of our gay leaders,
nc of our major spokesmen in New York,
ked me how I could let people with AIDS
n in my pool. Initially, 1 was very angry

sw
But I was glad, finally, that he was able to

express it. “Eddy” I said, “don't you read
the same shit I do? You ain't going to get it
in a pool. You aint going to get it from a
towel.” He just had to be reminded. It’s one
thing to be aware of those kinds of fears;
it's another thing to become hysterical or
go around telling people you can get AIDS
by going to a restaurant where they have
gay waiters.

There are a lot of people who find it eas-
ier to be openly gay now, because they're
coming out for a cause. There are peo-
ple who are unchanged by AIDS, and

there are people who were set back in the
cause and there are people it has helped
come out. People who are running around
saying, “I don't want to be gay.” Do they not
want to be gay because they're scared of a
disease? Of course not.

PLAYBOY: In The Boys in the Band, gay play-
wright Mart Crowley scems to say that no-
body ever wants to be gay in the first place,
and that produces sclf-hatc.

FIERSTEIN: I can think of very few people
who would honestly say, “I'm very glad that
homosexuality exists, and I'm very glad
I'm gay" You know, in a utopia, there
would be no difference among any of us,
and nobody would get dumped on, But it
doesn't work that way. It can't work that
way. Because if sexual preference weren't
an issue, we'd find something else to hate
about cach other. That's the way human
beings are.

PLAYBOY: Larry Kramer, the gay writer and
activist, seems to feel far differem from
you about the threat to gays. He gave a
speech about AIDS recently that was an
appeal, acry that the gay community is be-
ing destroyed. Let us quote from it: “Easily
half of all gay men in San Francisco and
New York are now infected with the virus.
We are walking time bombs.” And he adds,
“Definitive studies in San Francisco now
prove beyond any doubt that after six and
a half years, 76 percent of those with the
virus will definitely come down with AIDS
or ARC if they have no treatment at all.
‘This 76 percent gradually increases in the
following years to almost 100 percent.” Its
really an apocalyptic forecast.

FIERSTEIN: And I understand. 1 respect Lar-
ry greatly, but 1 do not respect those
figures. The difference between Larry's
approach and mine is that, for him, this is
already done. These people are already dy-
ing. My view is, Let's get out there and
make sure nobody else gets exposed. Ivs
not that I think fewer people will die. 1 just
think that we have to go for the most posi-
tive point of view, which is, What can we do
about the disease?

PLAYBOY: But Kramer is making a desper-
ate appeal. He's saying, “We have to get a
cure; we have to release the drugs that
have not yet been tested. There are things
to be done right now. . . ."
FIERSTEIN: I agrcc with that. But my anger
is directed elsewhere. For instance, I'm
pissed as hell with the minority communi-
ties. In New York City, more than half the
AIDS cases are minorities, and they're get-
ting no support from their community.
They're not out there speaking about
AIDS. They're not out there educating.
They're not out there saying, “This is our
problem.” They're very happy to lay the
problem on gays, because everybody
knows we're somebody to kick around. A
lot of it has to do with macho, which is why
on Gay Day, it's a sea of white faces.
PLAYBOY: Granted, but don't you acknowl-
edge that you may be dealing with a new
tide of hostility against gays—one that
seems to us much greater than it was five

PLAYBOY

years ago—as a result of ALDS?

FIERSTEIN: Listen, I've lived my entire life
with heterosexual hatred! All my life, I've
been the queer down the hall, So this both-
ers me no more than any of the rest. Its a
constant attack. I don't see why you think
that all of a sudden, AIDS has given the
haters more space than they ever had. 105
always been there! Every Gay Day parade
in New York City has had hundreds of
thousands of people marching down Fifth
Avenue, and the local TV coverage has
shown a drag queen, a few people throw-
ing things at St. Patrick's Cathedral and
the 25 antigay protesters and has given
them equal time to the 100,000 marching
There is homophobia on a huge incredible
level. It has not changed because of AIDS.
It may not have gotten much better, but it
has not gotten worse.

PLAYBOY: You dont think certain people
now feel it’s open season on gays?
FIERSTEIN: 1 read a column recently by that
idiot Pat Buchanan, saying that ALDS was
a result of gay degeneracy, of moral
bankruptcy This mans problem is not
AIDS. He is scared to death of homosexu-
als, period. AIDS didn't create that. I un-
derstand your point—he can now make
this kind of statement more freely. But a
man like him would have found another
way to make the statement. It's merely the
newsprint equivalent of a guy telling Бау
jokes at the office. Moral bankruptcy?
Where is Buchanan's article about syphilis,
which is totally curable and which often
in epidemic proportions in the straight
community right now? You run a blood
test, two shots, curable. Where is his con-
demnation of morals in the straight com-
munity?

My point is, if gay people had enough
goddamn self-respect to stand up when
someone made a gay joke and say, “Fuck
you in the heart, you liule asshole. You go
home and watch your lesbian porno movie
or whatever you do, but Lam gay and 1 re-
sent your saying that"—4hat would make
all the difference. Look, when people tell
racial jokes, they look around to make sure
that they are not telling them in front of a
black person or a Hispanic bus boy. But
gay people arc invisible. Unless we make
ourselves visible, we will never shut up an
asshole like Pat Buchanan.
PLAYBOY: But getting back to the-
FIERSTEIN: And if your ideal of morality is
to be in a monogamous relationship, then
you have to accept gay people and let them
get married! Then you can yell at them if
they fool around with somebody: But you
сап" tell gay people that they cannot do
this and think they'll just go and be hetero-
sexual. They'll explode and go to a back-
room bar and have anonymous sex. If you
want a moral society, then accept homosex-
uality as a viable lifestyle. Let us get mar-
ried, if that's what we want to do. Some
people will do it, some won't. Just like het-
erosexuals.

PLAYBOY: Do you personally see monogamy
as an ideal?

FIERSTEIN: I think the whole idea is 2
strange. It's like saying, “I will have
only with you the rest of my life. 1 will
never eat without you again.” I mean, it
doesn't make sense for thinking human
beings.

For me, people are about choices and
possibilities. The kids who get married
right out of high school, and neither of
them has ever fooled around—that, to me,
is chilling, because they've so limited
themselves. Probably, they won't do any-
thing or add much to the society They'll
never push at any boundaries; they'll never
create anything new. They won't paint ex-
perimentally if they haven't experimented
with the rest of life. You can't be creative in
one section of your life and not in others.
Creativity, to me, is not the guy who buys
the cookbook. Give me the guy who wrote
the cookbook. And those people, who are
truly creative, you cannot lock in with a
rule, You meet somebody, you have sex with
that person and that's it for life? 1 don't
know anybody like that worth knowing.
PLAYBOY: Do you believe that the gay com-
munity in general is more creative than the
E ht community?

FIERSTEIN: Oh, absolutely. Only because we
have to do so much self-searching just to

“Poe lived my entire life with
heterosexual hatred! All my
life, Гое been the queer down
the hall.”

find out who we are. How many straight
peopledo you know who lie as well as a guy
whos in the closet? I mean,
ine the creativity that goes into constantly
covering up, to be 60 years old and pre-
tend to your family you've never had sex?
PLAYBOY: You continually make the point
that gays should be all the way out of the
closet. How are you regarded by homosex-
uals who want to keep their homosexuality
a secret?

FIERSTEIN: I scare the hell out of them.
celebrities shy away from me, like I'm mad.
Gay movie stars refuse to be photographed
with me. Rock Hudson wouldn't be pho-
tographed with me. We knew people in
common, but he wouldnt be photo-
graphed with me.

PLAYBOY: Did you confront him with it?
FIERSTEIN: He was sick already. When I met
him, he was on the way. But I've confront-
ed several gay stars.

: And what reply do you get?
FIERSTEIN: I'm told to shut up. [Laughs]
One person said to me, "Look, America
can deal with one of each type. You got
there first, Harvey, so you're the out-of-
the-closet

a she.
PLAYBOY: A she? We don't have a big lesbian
star yet. That slot is open-
FIERSTEIN: Well, we almost do. We have
somebody who isn't too uptight about it.
PLAYBOY: But uptight enough so that we
won't mention her here, right?
HERSTEIN: You know, a gay woman isnt
nearly as threatening. A man in a dress is
funny; a woman in a suit is sexy. There are
so many people in places of power who are
gay and self-hating. I know a big executive
in television who is gay—everyone knows
he is—but he thinks it’s a big secret. And
when it comes to doing gay subjects on TV,
he is the most homophobic person there is.
All the straight people say, “Yeah, let's do
that project,” but he always nixcs it. But it's
not just show-busincss people. Look at how
many gay people were involved in the
Iran/Contra scandals. Nobody ever talked.
about it, but take a look.
PLAYBOY: To whom are you referring?
m being cryptic, because 1 real-
ly can't tell you. But a lot of those people
who were in the news as “American
heroes” are gay. The people who did the
deal are gay But politics in this country are
just disgusting. 1 mean, we had Bill Buck-
ley actually saying that all people with
AIDS should be tattooed—he said drug
users should be tattooed on their arms,
gay people should be tattooed on their ass-
es. 1 say, ^ Where are you going to tattoo
the babies?” Did he bother to think that
most people have sex with the lights off ?
Not, when it comes right down to it, that
Ron and Nancy Reagan believe any of this
crap. I mean, they have a lot of gay friends.
But they think its what people want to
hear. There're only two people 1 trust
in Congress—Barney Frank and Gerry
Studds. And I trust them only because
they're out of the closet, our first two out-
of-the-closet elected officials. Of course, if
we wanted to, we could fill the Houses of
Congress with elected gay people. That's
what gay people have to realize. There are
25,000,000 of us. If we voted as a bloc, we
could name our own President.
PLAYA о you think you'll ever have that
kind of cohesion?
FIERSTEIN: Probably not, unfortunately. Be-
cause the gay community, when it comes
right down to it, is not a community at all.
It's too diverse. There is no Reaganite like
a gay Reaganite. There is no right-wing
like a gay conservative. And
ll far too many gays afraid to
open their mouths. When some of us were
organizing to fight [Supreme Court nomi.
nee Robert] Bork, I got into a discussion
about it with a gay couple even Pat Robert
son would love. They're the most hetero-
sexual homosexuals you'd ever meet. A
nice married couple. They've been togeth-
er 20 years. They have a house in the coun-
try and an apartment in the city. They both
work hard. They have lots of friends, most.
of them heterosexual. They're not mili-
tant, they dont make noise.
PLAYBOY: They're not troublemakers.

FIERSTEIN: Yeah, the nice homos down the
block. And they said to me. “Oh, Harvey.
we really wish that you and the gay com-
munity would not be so very vécal against
Bork, because it will look like the lunatic
fringe is fighting this man and then he will
definitely get approved.

And 1 said. “What you say may be true.
But in this world, if you keep your mouth
shut, then you have no rights. You have to
be out there doing everything you can to
affect the world—or get the hell out of i
PLAYBOY: In the end, what do you think is
so threatening to heterosexual men about
homosexuality?

FIERSTEIN: That they might enjoy it
PLAYBOY: And if they enjoyed it?

FIERSTEIN: 1 would mean to them that they
were queer

PLAYBOY: And what is so awful about being
queer?

FIERSTEIN: Don't ask me. Personally, I
couldn't imagine й any other way. [Laughs]
You're asking the wrong person on that
one. Mostly, Ї guess, it’s fear of their own.
feelings. I don't know a man who's ever
said to me, е geuing a blow job.
And. of course, another great fear is anal
sex. I did a funny scene in Torch Song in
which I was being penetrated, and every
night, the women in the audience
screamed their heads off, loving every sec
ond, while the men covered their eyes.
Scared to death to even imagine a man
being penetrated. And, yeah, of course. it's
also pragmatic. Who wants to be differen?
It is definitely easier to be white, rich, het-
erosexual. thin. blond and blue-eyed in
this world.

PLAYBOY: You've said that you dont particu-
larly care whether straights accept you:
FIERSTEIN: No, approve. Ther difference
between accept and approve. You have to
accept me. You have to accept my rights as
a human being and my right to live my life
E don't care if you hate me for it, or think
Um an abomination. Just get the fuck out
of my way, ‘cause I'm gonna do what Im
gonna do.

PLAYBOY: Do you think there's a possibility
that the majority of straight society will ac-
cept—and understand—homosexuality?
FIERSTEN: Yes. When gay people stop hat-
ing themselves. When homophobia is gone
in the gay community. it will disappear
very quickly in the straight community
But realistically? I'm not holding my
breath. I wrote a play, never produced,

Hed Cannibals, which is set in an all gay
society Two kids announce that they've
straight and it rocks the family One of the
fathers says to his son, “But who else but
another man could possibly satisfy you?
Who else would know your body better
and could know what every little ‘ooh’ and

And who else could you relax

with more than another man?” ‘To this

acter, it is inconceivable that anybody

would even want to have heterosexual sex.
other than to have children.

But it doesn’t work that way. Unfortu-
nately, were not all gay, so well keep on
having trouble with you heterosexuals.

IMPORTED ENGLISH GIN. = x
The best of times deserve the | ee of taste.

AD MAN

it was an impulse murder:
he did it for marianne

fiction

By ROBERT SILVERBERG

ON A CRISP AFTERNOON of high winds late in
the summer of 2017 Frazier murdered
his w lover, a foolish deed that he im-
mediately regretted. lo murder anyone
was stupid when there were so many
more effective alter ilable; but
even so, if murder was what he had to do,
why murder the lover? Two levels of guilt
attached there: not only the taking of a
life but the taking of an levant life. If
you had to kill someone, he told himself
immediately afterward, then you should
have killed her, She was the one who had
committed the crime against the mar-
iage, after all. Poor Hurwitt had been
only a means, a tool, virtually an inno-
cent bystander. Yes, kill her, not him. Kill
yourself, even. But Hurwitt was the one
he had killed, a dumb thing to do and
done in a dumb manner, besides.

It had all happened quickly, without

ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO

PLAYBOY

premeditation. Frazier was attending a
meeting of the museum trustees to di
cuss expanding the Hall of Mammals.
‘There was a recess; and because the day
was so cool, the air so crystalline and
bracing, he stepped out onto the balcony
that connected the old building with the
Pilgersen extension for a quick breather,
Then the sleek bronze door of the Pi
gersen opened far down the way and a
dark-haired man in a grubby blue-gray
lab coat appeared. Frazier saw at once, by
the rigid set of his high shoulders and the
way his long hair fluttered in the wind,
that it was Hurwitt.

He wants to see me, Frazier thought.
He knows I'm attending the meeting to-
day and he's come out here to stage the
confrontation at last, to tell me that he
loves my famous and beautiful wife, to
ask me blundy to clear o and let him
have her all to himself.
aziers pulse began to quicken; his
face grew hot. Even while he was think-
ing that it was oddly old fashioned to talk
of letting Hurwitt have Marianne, that, in
fact, Hurwitt had probably already had
her in every conceivable way, and vice
versa, but that if now he had some idea of
setting up housekeeping with her—u
ble, unthinkable!—this was hard-
ly the appropriate place to discuss it with
him, another and more primord
of his brain was calling forth torrents of
adrenaline and preparing him for mortal
combat.

But no: Hurwitt didn't seem to have
ventured onto the balcony for any ma
to-man conference with his lover's hu:
band. Evidently, he was simply taking the
short cut from his lab in the Pilgersen to
the fourth-floor cafeteria in the old
ilding. He walked with his head down,
his brows knitted, as though pondering
some abstruse detail of trilobite anatomy,
and he took no notice of Frazier at all.

“Hurwitt?” Frazier said finally when
the man was virtually abreast of him.

Caught by surprise, Hurwitt looked
up, blinking. He appeared for a
not to recognize Frazier. For that m.
ment, he was frozen mid-blink, his
unkempt hair a dark halo about him, his
awkward, rangy body off balance be-
tween strides, his peculiar glinting eyes
flashing like yellow beacons. In fury,
Frazier imagined this man's bony naked-
ness, pale and gaunt, probably with
sparse ropy strands of black hair sprout-
ing on a vihite chest, imagined those long
arms wrapped around Marianne, imag-
ined those huge knobby fingers cupping
her breasts, imagined that thinlipped
wide mouth covering hers, imagined
the grubby lab coat lying crumpled at the
foot of the bed and her silken orange
wrap beside it. That was what sent Fra-
zier over the brink, not the infidelities
themselves, not the thought of the sweaty
embraces—there was plenty of that in

‘ach of her films, and it had never meant
a thing to him, for he knew it was only
well-paid make-believe—and not the
rawboned look of the man or his uncouth
stride or even the manic glint of those
strange off-color eyes, those eerie topaz
eyes, but the lab coat, stained and wort
with a button missing and a pocket flap
dangling, lying beside Mariannes di
carded silk. For her to take such a love
a pathetic, dreary poker of fossils, a
hollow-chested laboratory drudge—no,
no, no

“Hello, Loren, Hurwitt said. He
smiled amiably; he offered his hand. His
eyes, though, narrowed and seemed al-
most to glow. It must be those weird eyes,
Frazier thought, that Marianne has fall-
en in love with. “What a surprise, run-
ning into you out here."

And stood there smiling, and stood
there holding out his hand, and stood
there with his frayed lab coat Napping
n the breeze.

Suddenly, Frazier was unable to bı
the thought of sharing the world with
this man an instant longer. He watched
himself as though from a point just be-
hind his own right ear as he went rushing
forward, seized not Hurwitt’s hand but
his wrist, and pushed rather than pulled,
guiding him swiftly backward toward the
parapet and tipping him up and over. It
took, perhaps, a quarter of a second.
Hurwitt, gaping, astonished, rose
though floating, hovered for an
began to descend. Frazier had one
look at his eyes, bright as gla

ing
straight into his own, photographing his
assailants face; and then he went plum-

meting downward.

My God, Frazier thought, peering over
the edge. Hurwitt lay face down in the
courtyard stories below, arms and legs
splayed, lab coat billowing about him.

He was at the airport an hour later,
with a light suitcase that carried no more
than a few days' change of clothing and a
few cosmetic items. He flew first to Dal-
las, endured a 90-minute layover, went on
an Francisco, doubled back to Cal
a s descended and caught a
midnight special to Mexico City, where
he checked into a hotel using the legal
commercial alias that he employed when
doing business in Macao, Singapore and
Hong Kong. Standing on the terrace of a
tower 30 stories above the Zona Rosa, he
inhaled musky smog. listened to the
squeals of traffic and the faint sounds of
far-off drums, watched f: of green
ightning in the choking sky above
Popocatepetl and wondered whether he
should jump. Ultimately, he decided
against it. He wanted to share nothing
whatever with Hurwitt, not even the
manner of his death. And suicide would
be an overreaction, anyway. First he had
to find out how much trouble he w

really in.

The hotel had InfoLog. He dialed in
and was told that queries were billed at
000,000 pesos an hour, prorated
Vaguely, he wondered whether that was
as expensive as it sounded. The peso was
practically worthless, wasn't it? What
would that be in dollars— 100 bucks, 500,
maybe? Nothing.

“1 want Harvard Legal,” he told the
screen. “Criminology. Forensics. Techni-
cal. Evidence technology” Grimly he
menued down and down until he was
near what he wanted. “Eyeflash,” he said.
“Theory, techniques. Methods of detail
recovery. Acceptance as evidence. Reli-
ility of record. Frequency of reversal
on appeal. Supreme Court rulings, if
any

Back to him, in surreal fragments,
which, at an extra charge of 3,000,000
pesos per hour, prorated, he had printed
out for him, came blurts of information:

Perceptual pathways in outer brain lay

ers . . . broad-scale optical architecture
images imprinted on striate cortex or pri-
mary visual cortex . . . inferior temporal
neurons . . . cf McDermott and Brunetti
2007 . . . utilization of lateral geniculate
body as storage for visual dala . . . inferior
temporal cortex uptake of radioactive
glucose... downloading . . . degrading of
signal . . . degeneration period . . . Pilsud.
shi signal enhancement filler... “Nevada
us. Bense,” 2011 hippocampus simu
lation . . . amygdala . . . acetylcholine
US. Supreme Court, 23 March 2012 . . . cf
Cross and Bernstein, 13 Aug 2003 . .
Mishkin .. . Appenzeller...
Enough. He shuffled the print-outs in
kind of hard-edged stupor until dawn;
and then, after a hazy calculation. of
time-zone differentials, he с
lawyer in New York. It took four bounce:
but the telephone tracked him down
the commute, driving in from Connecti-
cut

Frazier keyed in the privacy filter. All

the lawyer would know was that some
client was calling; the screen image
would be a blur: the voice would be
rendered universal, generalized. uniden-
tihable. И was more for the lawyer's pro-
an for Fraziers: There had
sty twists in jurisprudence lately,
and lawyers were less and less willing to
run the risk of being named accomplices
after the fact. Immediately came a query
about the billing. “Bill to my hotel room."
Frazier replied, and the screen gave him
a go-ahead.
Let's say I'm responsible for causing a
fatal injury and the victim had a good
opportunity to see me as the act was oc
curring. What are the chances that they
can recover cyeflash pictures?”

“Depends on how much damage was
received in the process of the death, How
did it happen?
ivileged communication?"

led his

“Now, theres a woman who knows how lo drive!”

PLAYBOY

Even. IF the mode of death was

unique or even highly distinctive and un-
usual, how can I help but draw the right
conclusion? And then ГЇ know more
than I want to know.”
It wasn't unique,” Frazier said, “or dis-
active, or unusual. But I still wont go
to details. 1 can tell you that the injury
n't the sort that would cause specific
brain trauma. I mean, nothing like a bul-
let between the eyes. or falling into a
of acid, or”

All right
a major city?
Major, yes.
In Missouri, Alabama or Kentucky?”
None of those, id Frazier. “It took.
place in a state where eyellash recovery is
legal. No question of that”

“And the body? How long after death
do you estimate it would have be
found?

“Within minutes, I'd

“And when was that?

Frazier hesitated. “With

t y-four hours."
"Then there's almost total likelihood
1 theres a readily recoverable pho-
tograph in the victims brain of whatever
he saw at the moment of death. Beyond
much doubt, it's already been recovered.
Are you sure he was looking at you as he
died?"

“Straight at me.

“My guess is there's probably a "
out for you already If you want me to
represent you, kill the privacy filter so I
can confirm who you are, and well di

takes pk

the past
tw

cuss our options.”

Later" Frazier said. “I th
rather try t0 make a run for it"

“But the chances of vour getting away
with"

“This is something I need to do,” said
Frazier. “Гі talk to you some other time.

He was almost certainly cooked. He
knew that. He had wasted critical time
ru ng fra ly back and forth across
the continent yesterday, when he should
h been transferring funds, setting up
secure refuges and such. The only ques-
tion now was whether they were already
looking for him, in which case there'd be
blocks on his accounts everywhere, a
sport screen at eve irport, world-
wide interdictis of all sorts. But if that

him to this hotel. Evidently, they h
which meant that they hadn't yet uncov-
ered the Занед at ding

TU case, or second-
: They had more serious
pout, he supposed.

cking out of the hotel without
ng about breakfast, he headed for
the airport and used his corporate credit

card to buy himself a flight to Belize.
There he bought a ticket to Suriname,
and just before his plane was due to
leave, he tried his personal card in the
cash disburser and was plea:
prised to find that it hadn't vet been
yanked. He withdrew the maximum. Of
course, now the evidence that
Loren Frazier had. been
ay but he wasnt traveling as Frazier,
nd he'd be in Suriname before long, and
by the time they traced. him there, as-
suming that they could. he'd be some-
where else, under some other name
entirely. M he kept dodg
or eight months, he'd scramble his tr
so thoroughly that they'd never be able to
find him. Did they pursue you forever?
he wondered. A time must come when
they file and forget. Of course, he might
not want to keep running forever. either.
dy, he missed Marianne. Despite
she had done.

He spent three days in Suriname at a
little pastel-green Dutch hotel at the edge
of Pa ibo, eating spicy noodle dish-
sted. Nobody

again, keving up one
counts and u
money into the Andy
Schmidt of Zurich, which was a name he
had used seven years before for some ex-
portimport maneuvers involving Zim-
babwe and somehow, he knew not why
had kept alive for eventualities unknown
This was an eventu; When he
checked the Schmidt account, he found
that there was money in it alread
nificant’ money, and t
passport had not yet exp
quested the Swiss chargé d
Guyana to prepare a dupli
quick boat trip up the Marowijne River
took him to St. Laurent on the French
Guiana side of the where he was
ble to hire iver to take him to Ca
ad from there he flew 10 George
: A smiling proxy lawyer
med Chatterji obligingly picked up hi:
assport for him from the Swiss, and un-
der the name of Schmidt, he went on to
Buenos Aires. There he destroyed all hi:
azier documentation. He resisted the
temptation to find out whether there was
a Frazier interdict out yet. No sense
handing them a trail extendi to
Buenos Aires just to gratify his curiosity.
If they weren't yet looking for him be-
cause he had murdered Hurwitt, they'd
be looking for him on a simple missing-
persons hook by this time. One way or
nother, it was best to forget about his
previous identity and operate as Schmidt
from here on.
This is almost fu
But he missed his
.
While sitting in sidewalk cafés on the
broad Avenida Nueve de Julio, feasting

of his corporat
g a bundle of

his Swiss
ed. He re-
faires in

he thought.
ile terribly

on huge parrilladas sluiced down by
carafe after carafe of red wine, he brood-
ed obsessively on Marianne's айа
made no sense. The world.
tress and the awkward, rawboned pale-
ontologis: Why? How was it possible?
She had been making a commercial at
the museum—Frazi had
helped set the busines
as a member of the board of trustees:
and Hurwitt, who was the head of the de-
partment of invertebrate paleontology, or
some such thing, had volunteered to
serve as the technical consultant. Very
kind of him, everyone said.
away from his scientific wo
so bland. so juiceless: who could suspect
him of harboring lust for the glamorous
film personality? Nobody would have
imagined it. But things must have started
almost at once. Some chemistry between
them, beyond all understanding, People
ind then to give
strange little knowing looks. Event
even he caught on. A truly loving hus-
hand is generally just about the last one
10 know, because he will always put the
best possible interpretation on the d:
But after a time, the accumulation
data becomes impossible to overlook or
deny or reason away Th e always
small changes when something like th
has begun: They start to read books ol
kind they ve never read befor
of different things; they may eve
new moves in bed. Then comes the
1 carelessness, the seemingly uncon-
scious slips that scream the actual nature
of the situation. Frazier was forced f
to an acceptance of the truth. It tore
his heart, There was no room in their
marriage for such stuff. Despite his mon-
ey, despite his power, he had neve
for the casual morality of the

alk

show

supposed to carry them happily on to the
finish. And now look.

‘Señor? Another carafe?”

No,” he said. “Yes. Yes.
his plate. It was full of s

come from? sure he had caten ev-
erything. [t must have grown back.
Moadily, he stabbed a plu
sage and ate without. not
drink. They mixed the wine with Seltzer
water here, half and half. Maybe it
helped you put away those tons of mea
morc easily.

Alterward, strolling along the narrow,
glinering Calle Florida, with the stylish
evening promenade flowing past him on
both sides, he caught sight of Marianne
coming out of a jeweler's shop. She wore
Gaucho leathers, emerald earrings, skin-
tight trousers of gold brocade. He
grunted as though he had been struck and.

(continued on page 138)

THE GREAT

PALIMONY CAPER

HEFNER’S FORMER LIVE-IN LOVER WANTED $35 MILLION FOR HER STAY AT THE MANSION

N FUE GREAT има. of Playboy Mansion West hangs a
port of Hugh M. Hefner, a 1987 Christmas gift
from two dozen of h nds. The painting is a ro
manticized, more mature version of the boy en

treprencur who turned being a playboy into a
philosophy of life. For three decades—since the
breakup of a boyhood
marriage convinced
Hef that, for him, at
least, matrimony was
antithetical to ro

ance—he has lived by
Woody Allens |
the death of hope

He lives in a paradise of his
own making Thirty-five years
ago, he brought forth a new
magazine, conceived in liberty
and dedicated to the proposition
that bachelorhood is the best of
all possible worlds. His magazine
grew into an empire headquar-

tered in a Tudor mansion in
Holmby Hills, Califor The
man's home is his castle—a full-
service monument to love, liberty
and the pursuit of happiness.

“Its a palace fit for a sover-
— and he rarely leaves,” re-
ports USA Today. “I live in a
world where Г the center. he
y use a euphemism
like king, I suppose. The woman
in my life has a similar status and
ted that way

Lovers who have shared his
life agree. “Lets face it, the m
knows how to tr women,
non Tweed told the national
recalling the way Hef
charmed her mother by filling a
guesthouse with flowers, hiring a limousine
$1000 in “mad money"

“Who wouldn't enjoy living there? Everywhere you look,
there's beauty” says Sondra Theodore, Hef lady from 1976
10 1981, now married, with a young son and another child on
the way.

“You're waited on hand and foot,” confirms Barbi Benton,
1968-1976. “Hef treated me better than [imagine any wom-
an has ever been treated. He made me feel like a queen.”

On this day in February 1988, Hefner feels a bit like Mida:
the king whose golden touch brought him grief. His fabled

This portroi

nd handing her

of playboy publisher Hugh M. Hefner by artist Olivia
DeBerordinis wos a Christmos gift from his Mansion friends. But
Corrie Leigh had o post-helidoy surprise for Hef of her own

generosity has long been his strong suit. Now an ex-lover is

years, C
Shannon gave him one last embrace before moving on. Carrie
is diferem. Carrie wants combat pay. Her $35 million de
mand represents $21,289.53. for
every day she spent with Hef—
suffering through chauffeured
shopping sprees and having serv-
5 cater to her every whim.

Like a spoiled child, Carrie has
turned on her provider. She
daims that Hef, the world’s most
ineligible bachelor, stepped. out
of character when no one else
around and pro
motherhood
piece of Malibu. To ass
alleged disappointne
wants enough cash to buy a castle
of her own

“Carries claims are pure in-
vention,” He his is
not a palimony suit, its a pul
ty stunt.

He is stung. The last thing he
expected when he took Carrie
Leigh under his wing was a lega

ner says.

three-ring circus wih the
princcof palimony Marvin Mitch-
elson, as ringmaster. Hefner
feels bewayed. He gave Carrie

of her life; she gave
k of her hand.

the best ye
him the

She was 19, a frustrated some-
time model, anxious to get out of
Toronto and an unhappy mar-

riage, when she moved into the
Mansion in 1983. He had just
broken up with Sha
Carrie, a leggy Canadian who came to California to become a
terlold. With Hefs blessing and support, Shannon pur-
cling career that has led from TV's Falcon Crest 10
the movies. Shannon, too, had dreamed of becoming Mrs.
Hefner, but her two-year reign as Hef’s consort taught her
that he was open to almost anything but that.

аре?” she says. “We joked about it. IF he wanted
something from my side of the bed, Га tell him, ‘Sure, VII
hand it over if you marry me. Hef getting married was such
an absurd idea—we thought it was funny.”
age. no. Love, yes. A self-described hopeless

on—like

romantic, Hefner has always fallen in
love the way Pete Rose slid into second
base—headfirst. "For me. being in love is
the very essence of being alive.” he con-
cedes. “E think life is deadly dull when a
relationship becomes routine and boring
Carrie Leigh was never boring.”

Carrie was dark, flashy, with a wide,
sensuous mouth, brown eyes burning
with ambition and the kind of body men
n their most ambitious dreams. She
wore dresses "slit down to the waist, up to
the waist and sideways at the waist,” re-
calls Playboy's West Coast Photo Editor,
Marilyn Grabowski. a confidante of Car-
ries. When Carrie walked onto the scene,
Hef was smitten.

see

Friends saw something sinister in this
new arrival. "Carrie could be Machiavel
lian,” says Grabowski. “When she first ar
rived, she was especially anxious to meet
Hef.”

On her Playmate Data Sheet, for “Fa-
mous Men I Most Admire,” she wrote,
“Hugh Hefner, because he is a man who
started with nothing and built an empire
on what he believed, which is in the beau-
ty of the human body and its sensuality

“She was very sweet and loving at the
start of the relationship.” says Grabow-
ski. “Once she had him hooked, she
changed. But from the start, Hef was
mesmerized by her.”

“A man in his position should be wary
of gold diggers.” says Shannon. “But
Hefs innocent in chat way— its uic only
way in which he is naive."

“He was so affectionate toward her, it
used to bother me,” Michael Roche told
People magazine. Roche owns the Sunset
Strip boutique Addictions, where Carrie
shopped. Even he, Roche says, “knew in
the back of my mind what she was going
to do to him”

“There were early s
says Hefner's secre

gns of instability.”

ary, Lisa Loving. “She
got drunk one night and ran down the
hall naked, threatening to throw herself
off the balcony”

he could act crazy and create a scene
just to get Hef's attention,” Grabowski
says. “He never knew what she might do

next, and she used that as a source of
power.”

“I saw the vulnerable, insecure side of
Carrie. It was the ‘crippled bird" quality
in her, combined with her stunning sexu-
al presence, that attracted. me to her
says Hefner. “So 1 was able to tolerate a
lot of her bad behavior

“There was a lot 1 didn't know, too, of
course,” he now confesses. “A wise man

once said that love is blind. In my case, it
was deaf and dumb, as well.”
Hugh Hefner has the resources to

These Helmut Newton photos, shot ct the
Playboy Mansion in 1986, hint at the chill to
come between the two lovers. Carrie was al-
ready scheming to turn thot chi

indulge one of the most appealing facets of his character —his
boyish devotion to the idea of an all-consuming romantic love.

Those who do not know him expect him to be jaded. He is the
opposite—a wide-eyed innocent in love with the process of
falling in love. Is not the safest way to go through life. but Hef

fortable with his heart on the sleeve of his paja-
mas. This passion built an empire, and made him what he is
Grabowski. charged with shepherding Carrie through
her Playmate pictorial, found her an exasperating subject
"We'd start shooting. and almost immediately, shed want to
leave” says the Photo Editor. “Or shed come in late—or she
wouldn't show up at all. Lers say she had a short attention

is most col

span.
Expenses on Carries Playmate pictorial exceeded
$100,.000—twiee the usual budget—and when it was finally

completed, she went to Hel and said she no longer wanted
» be “just another Playmate.” She wanted to do a "celebrity
pictorial” à la Joan Collins, Bo Derek and Kim 1 The
problem with ıl

Hel tried to explain.
was that she wasnt a

‚celebrity

sive powers wi
their peak carly in the
relationship, when he
was head over slip
pers in love.

“We did a major
feature on her— First
Lady of the Mansion.”
Grabowski recalls “in
cluding a cover”

In March 1985, Hef
had a mild stroke, “A
stroke of duck. he
called it, The stroke
changed his life. He
put away his pipe and.
with it, the work and
play habits of a
ti

Т quit burning ту mony. La
candle at both ends

nd started savoring every day.” he says.
ware of my own Mortality My rapid recov

he stroke made me

гу fueled my de-

sire to make my September years the hest of what had already
been a rather wonderful life”
In her lawsuit, Carrie claims that she nursed him back to

health afte:
on her e

the stroke. Nothing in her eight-page legal assault
wer is more fanciful, Instead, Hel says. Carrie
ounted to an ultimatum. “She took this mo-
ment to suggest a marriage in which she knew I had no inter-
esi—and when I declined, she left me.”

Carrie returned to Toronto, for what she would later de-
scribe in some detail as three delirious weeks of drinking,
drugs and sexual excess. Early one morning. she phoned Hel
from the bathroom of her Toronto hotel suite. She was calling
from the bathroom, she said. because her partners of the
night before were still asleep in the bedroom. She wanted to
come home, she said. He welcomed her back

Sick with mononucleosis and more, Carrie spe
several weeks in bed, with Jim taking care of her

On Мау 19, 1985, she wrote, “Dear Hef, you are the most
important part of my life, These past few weeks have been so

t the next

Jessica Hahn and Carrie were goad friends when they posed for this
sultry Vogue-style photo. But Carrie was jealous of Jessica's fame
and furious when she wouldn't help in her plat against Hefner.

special to me. If I never get well again, I dont care, as long as
we are together. Please just tell me that vou love me every day
from this day on.

During the long weeks of her convalescence, Hef gave С
ie what he called “Dr. Bunny” gifts whenever she got de
pressed. And il he wasn't ready to commit to marriage, he was
willing 10 express his affection with the diamond ving she had
coveted. In the palimony suit, this is referred to as an engage:
ment ring, but Carrie herself called it a friendship ring in
terviews. In a cover story on Hefn its August 4. 1986,
issue. Newserk reported, “Leigh sports a conspicuous
friendship ring’ from Hef but says, 1 we got engaged. it
would have to be ten more carats”

fo hasten Carries recovery, Hef gave her an allowance of
$5000 a month and her own checking account and credit
card. in return for her pledge of sobriety and sexual fidelity.
He had already given her more clothes, furs and jewels than
she had any use for, se for her 22nd birthday. he gave her a
check Гог $22000—
$1000 for every year
of her life—and
couraged her 10 put it
away for the foune
He did the same on
each birthday there-
alter— 893,000 when
she turned 23 and
$24,000 on her 24th.

This anempt 10
establish a more sta-
ble relationship. wa
short-lived, howeve
As soon as Carrie ма

well enough. she was
back to her wanton

wandering ways
They must have

patterned the phrase
purty animal after

PHOTOGRAPHY БҮ PAUL HARRIS ОТЫН: Car remarks

There are thase who say Marvin Mitchelson knows how to use the media better than Anne Randall Stew-
life- — the caurtroam. He and Carrie held a press conference in Mitchelsans posh Century art. the May 1067

City affices (complete with Jacuzzi), announcing their demand for $5 million in pal
m they upped the ante to $35 million—ond got even more publicity.

Playmate and wile of
Dick Stewart. both
close friends of Hef's.
She outcaroused Hef, the champion carouser of all time. She
made passes at his pals, and she made passes at some of th
Playmates, 100”

In 1986. when she was most actively courting celebrity as
Hefs companion, she was also pursuing other sexual con-
quests and was already contemplating her palimony suit. In i
Carrie would claim she gave up a "lucrative modeling care
to devote herself to Hef as his “companion, confidante and so-
cial hostess.” but her Playboy appearances were the only sig
nificant modeling assignments she ever had and provided the
publicity that would have made a career possible if she had
cared to pursue it

Hef helped her get the green card she needed to work in
the U.S., an acting coach and an agent, but she never went on
an audition. He hired four top Hollywood photographers to
take pictures of her for her modeling book, but she never
ned with an agency or went on a single call.

“Part ol modeling is getting out of bed at six in the morning
and hoofmg the streets, not sleeping until three in the after
noon and getting your nails done,” boutique owner Roche
told People magazine. -

“Do you love me?” she would ask, “Am E beautiful?” But no
amount of reassurance was sulbicient.

She became a cosmetic-surgery junkie. W
simple nose job soon became an obsession th

и began as
t included th

separate operations on the nose, a facial peel, check implanıs
and breast enhancement. The last and most improbable
surgery involved the transfer of fatty tissue from her buttocks
gs 10 suggest that there was
now no alter g Carrie's as fter the breakup,
she would tell ife magazine that Hef had "ma
to having painful check implants.
He paid for it,” a friend say: he didn’t like it. He liked
her the way she was when he first fell in love with her.”
British Playmate M: close friend of
Id the English tabloid The
Prople that she began as a Cruella De Vil, the
ked lady in Disneys One Hundred and One Dalmatians.
the flesh, she wasn't quite the way she appeared in photo:
graphs and on film. She had dyed black hair enhanced with
hair extensions, huge breasts which had been cosmetically en-
ged, surgically improved cheekbones and enormous be-
witching е Marina felt sorry for Hef, she told the tabloid.

him papering over

the cracks in his rela
tionsl with C
in such a gentlemanly
fashion.”

Carries shopping
sprees grew leg
endary She filled
Mansion closets to the
bursting point
“Spending £3000 a
week on clothes was
no big deal to Carrie,”
Marina recalls. “She
would happily slash or
cut up an expensive
designer ohit that
didn't quite fit and
turn it into something
casual to wear on a
beach. She simply had
no respect for any-
thing. She never had
to do anything for
herself; she never
washed up a plate or
prep: meal.

She never washed her underwear or did any ironi
dropped her clothes on the floor at night and a butler would
come along in the mo

“She was very i
seemed to be
at the Mansion

Controversy over hei

he evening Hef and Carrie attended the Barbra Streisand
fund raiser for Democratic candidates in the fall of 1986.

“Leigh's dress is as tight as the casing on a Dodger hot dog.”
People magazine enthused. “The front of this creation consists
of two pieces of cloth crisscrossed over her breasts; she looks
like a railroad crossing guard in a Russ Meyer movie. At din-
ner, served on Barbra’s tennis court, Ms. Leigh is the center-
fold of conversation. ‘I sure wish I had a body like that,’ says
Sheena Easton, between bites of mesquite-grilled veal loins
with wild mushrooms by Wolfgang Puck of Spago. 1 sure
would know what to do with it

What Carrie Leigh decided to do with it was disapp
the night before hostess Streisand had sung a note. H
consumed a gi

iludes, she wound up in bed w
nent of Michacl Roche. The follow

After the wicked witch, a beautiful princess: Hef's new live-in lover, Alebama-born,
Vancower-roised Kimberley Conrad, is this manths caver girl. The two first met while
she wos shaoting her Jonuory 1988 Playmate pictoriel in Los Angeles. When Car-
rie moved aut af Playboy Mansion West, Kimberley, and her menagerie, moved in.

Whoopi Goldberg as though nothing had happened.

The night of the Streisand affair, Carrie lost her diamond
ting. Hef replaced it with another, larger heart-shaped dia-
mond of her choosing as a Christmas gift. She asked him
they could have a “just pretend” engagement, but Hef pointed
out that even a make-believe betrothal implied the intention
of marriage. Only later did he realize that this had been a ploy
compromise him in her contemplated palimony suit.

Then she told him she was pregnant

“Leigh alleges Hefner told her he wanted to have children
with her, then impregnated her and pressured her to have an
bortion." People magazine reported. “Hefner says he did not
urge the abortion on her. He also says that. given his own pre-
cautions, he was surprised by the pregnancy

He actually doubted that it was his. “I'm a very careful guy.
he says. "It's one of the reasons Гуе never had any paternity
suits."

“When La

gh refused to

se birth control,” he told People,
he posted an 'exac
chart of her menstru-
al cycle next to his bed
to prevent accidents.
He was especially
careful, he maintains,
after his daughter,
Christie, warned him
that Leigh might try
to get pregnant as

leverage against him
Leigh
shed dis

tic with
who al-
legedly told her it
wouldn
if she could just stay
ith Hefner a few
more years.”

Carrie's friend,
Playmate Julie Me
Cullough, says that
rie never consid-
ered having the baby
and didn't even dis-
cuss her plans for an
fier it was over

9 1 with Hef until

Celebrity was very important to С 4 Hefner includ
ed her in most of his publicity, from the cover of Newsweek to a
segment of Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. She appeared at
his side in the Playboy Mansion scene with Eddie Murphy and
Brigitte Nielsen in Beverly Hills Cop H, the top-gı
movie of 1987.

Nielsen was an obvio ole model for Carric, especially aft-
cr the surgically enhanced Scandinavian beauty won a $6 mil
lion seulement from her marital split with Sylvester Stallone
and gossip had her involved in an affair with her secretary!
companion, Kelly Sahnger. When Carrie left Hefner a few
months later, she introduced her own gal pal Kelly Mo
Helmut Newton as “my secretary.”

Carrie certainly identified with Brigite
Anne Randall Stewart. “They shared the same taste in harlow
motorcycle dyke outfits and they both seem to enjoy their
seductive

“One of movies of 1987 was the Theresa
Russell/Debra Winger thriller Black Widow, about a woman
who marries and murders a number of men for their money-

"C and her girlfriend Kelly used to watch it constantly
on video tape,” recalls Hel in a wry moment: “Il didnt occur
to me that Carrie might be viewing (continued on page 146)

INSIDE THE NEW RUSSIAN REVOLUTION—IF THAT'S WHAT IT IS

THEN
CAME

GORBACHEV

ARTICLE BY
ROBERT
vom SCHEER n capitals from Hanoi to Washington

MIKHAIL GORBACHEV. As I watched the man
at a receptio the Palace of Congresses at
the Kremlin, where my outstretched hand
had been pushed aside by Yoko Ono's mad
charge to present the top Bolshevik with
some memento of John Lennon's music, while
off to the side, Gore Vidal sought to en-
gage Andrei Sakharov, just released from
his exile in Gorky and Andrei Gro
wanly smiled at Norman Mailer, it seemed as
if we had all just stepped through the looking glass.
Unbelievable. A pragmatic and appealing Soviet leader re-
placing the septuagenarian hacks who had seemed destined
10 run that п; 1 into the ground. Before him, there seemed
lile hope for altering the collision course of the superpowers.
After him, the Soviet Union and the Cold War would never be
the same.
How did it happenz What playwright would dare introduce
acharacter who is such an immense departure fiom the cha
acters who preceeded him? Who 15 Gorbachev, what does he
represent, who arc the people around him and will he last?
For three months in the spring and the fall of 1987, the year
of glasnost (openness) and perestroika (r turing), I talked
with the new Soviet clite—lIcading editors, Central Commit
tee and Politburo members of the Communist Party, high go:
ernment technicians who had been swept into power by this
new man and his program. I talked also with the new crew
running the Chernobyl nuclear power plant alter the disaster
that, more than any other factor, had jolted the Soviet leaders
into a full appreciation of what nuclear weapons might do.
And 1 talked with the people who had gone to college w
> hev to glimpse the roots of this man who, like Peter th
Great, would attempt once again the great Wester nization of
Mother Ru:

Documenting Gorbachev's biography and many other
facets of Soviet life remains difficult in that still-closed societ
but it is now possible to begin a serious inquiry that would
have been impossible just a few years ago. That is why I went

It helped that a number of the people I talked w
familiar with my writing on arms control and other U.

h were
. For-

cign-policy issues. My earlier trips to the Soviet
Union, my articles for the Los Angeles Times
and my book on Reagan’ nuclear strategy were
akind of calling c view, and so they
were willing to skip a lot of jargon and skim a
lot of basics.

had a lifetime of being lectu

and from Cairo to Havana. But nowhere was

the interview process reduced to such depths
of stultification as in the Soviet Union of the recent past, On
my trips there during the Sixties and the early Seventies, the
effect of reporting on the Soviet line was so—bormg is the
only word that fits—that I resolved never to return agam
as a journalist.

This time, I was shocked by the pace of change in my arca
of interest. I dont mean changes in factory management,
chicken production or even the democratization of the Com-
munist I of which have been promised by Gorbachev

nd are still emerging. But out there on my beat, armed with
my tape recorder, notebooks and lots of questions, the new
mood was intoxicating. Who in his right mind could have pre-
dicted that talking with Soviet officials and other notables
might prove stimulating, even— Marx forbid—fun?
б

Over seemingly endless trays of cookies and tea served in
the Politburo offices of Aleksandr Yakovlev, the farlarger
quarters inherited by Ivan Laptey, editor of /zvestia, the gov-
ernment newspaper, or the downright dingy and cluttered cu-
bicle of c ographer and pacifist Alex Aleksandros, the
themes and the spirit w lar. The message was a replay
Ys old question What is to be done? It seemed agai
call for a revolution within the revolution, rendered more ur-
gent now that much of the post-Lenin program has been
judged a failure. What is to come? What kind of economy?
h pluralism? What about bureaucracy and human
> 1 found the questions—an urgent, constant pecking at
nee forbidden—mostly brash and open. The

the

КЎ
elusive. All the more elusive since none of this change is oc-
g without resistance, which is pervasive and palpable.

This unce chapter of Soviet history, with its vast

curr

PAINTING BY KINUKO Y. CRAFT

PLAYBOY

implications for the world, took most
people by surprise. But if you listened
closely, you could hear the sound of
change coming even before ıhe n of
Gorbachev, in the final days of Yuri А!
«торох He was the dour K.G.B. chief
who, in his brief 15 months as head of all
the Russias, managed to set in motion the
process now called perestroika. Georgi
Arbatoy, the director of the United States
of America and Canada Institute, was
the first to sing Andropov’s praises ro me.
“He isa modern man and if he lives, vou
will see big changes," Arbatov had said
when I first encountered him in I
the Amsterdam conference of the Inter-
national Physicians for the Prevention of
Nuclear War. Andropov didnt get his
chance, but he did have an impa

As head of the K.G.B.. Andropov
learned the full truth of the sorry state of
the Soviet economy and the degree of
corruption that ran "
political life. Rather than join in sharing
the spoils, he began plotting the demise
of the Brezhnev era by advancing the са
rs of men such as Gorbachev, who ap-
ared 10 have i
While Andropov certainly had the blood
of K.G.B. repression on his hands. he
seemed, by his own brief actions as Gen-
eral Secretary, and by the company he
chose to keep. to have been committed to
a better way

During one afternoon Arbatov sp
with me, ruminating in the den of his
cluttered off 19th Century mer-
chants house 1987, he
showed me
sent to him in the last weeks of his life,
which contained the line “It is s;
power corrupts men, but 1 ha
that it is men who corrupt powe
Did it begin, then, with a revulsion
against corruption? It is an odd thought,
considering that the elite pushing for re-
form could easily have gone the other
way and dulged the perks
of their privileged rank, Arbatov and his
men work in the high-ceilinged, chande-
liered rooms of a mansion once occupied

in
in Moscow in
poem that Andropov had

йг, but they are
n the

ggi
puer are Arbatov aud the (relatively)
young army of reformers with whom he
has surrounded himself willing to risk

another turn of the wheel?
batov was born soon after the Revo-

lut part. Jewish, was wounded
Stalingrad and has been close t0 the last
four heads of government. He can be
both charming and tough, and he knows
the West; for decades, he has traveled
there several times a year, meeting its
leaders. Indeed, he appears to know the
West and its leaders better than most of
the Western reporters who seek to in-
terview him. Some don't like Arbatox. 1
do. They claim that he is an elusive prop-

agandist. I find him as honest as you
can expect from а Top man im any
organization.

Late one day. I satin the old merchant's
tearoom with Arbatoy and three of his
top aides, trying to make a brand-new
Japanese VCR work. After some false
starts, the machine began, and we
watched a video cassette of the once-
banned movie Repentance—now being
shown to millions of Soviet moviegoers—
which in a chilling fashion excoriates the
secret-po-
lice chief. When the movie ended, Arba-
tov asked me for my reaction. I replied
that alter watching the movie, I could not
understand why he or the others in the
room remained in the Communist Party.
There was an awkward pause, and he an-
swered, “That is the challenge.

In the West, the idea of actually being a
Communist is rarely taken seriously
When it is. it generally means somethi
dark, totalitarian, It means coercion
best, repression at worst. And after 40
years of Cold War, the notion that com-
munism may occasion ch an ideal-
istic impulse at some point in the lives of
s followers is as dificult for a Westerner
to accept as convincing Palestinians of
Zionist idealism. Yet despite everything,
's there. Otherwise, Gorbachev—and
Andropov befor kes no sense

The men ara bachev called
themselves the. Khrushchev generation.
They were the group of future leaders
most affected by Khrushchevs bold in-
diciment of at least some of Stalins dark-
est deeds. Despite Khrushchev's rashness
and his fall from grace, it was during his
regime that the younger men fi saw

the possibilities of change. “Our gen-
cration was waiting in the wings to make
these changes.” Gennadi simon.

Gorbachev's press spokesman, told me
he only question is why we
ida move soon

It is ironic that the battle to limit
trary power was next advanced by An-
dropoy, one of Berias successors in the
secret police. But in the land of the czars,
one takes what one gets. Andropov's en-
during legacy is that, from his deathbed,
tied to a kidney-dialysis mach h
somehow managed to nudge into place a
new elite, which, though stalled by Kon-
stantin Chernenko, his immediate suc-
cessor, has now come to the fore. The
new elite is remaking Soviet society in a
way not predicted by a single Kremlinol-
ogist, most of whom had developed emo-
tional and professional stakes in the idea
of a Soviet Union governed in perpetuity
by corrupt, brutal gangs of aging and
yielding Bolsheviks.

The members of this new elite arent
particularly mysterious, as 1 discov
in months of interviews. They
erate travelers, lor one thing,

о America, and one cannot help think-
ing that their goals are more the working
out of their own domestic problems than
the pursuit of some monolithic loreign-
policy objective. In January 1988, for
example, I was in Gettysburg, Pennsylva-
nia, at a small retreat hosted by the
Eisenhower World Affairs Institute and

the United States Information Agency.
About 50 Soviets and Americans repre
senting their respective cultural estab-

lishments hunkered down in that sleepy
but historic town, drinking beer at the
old inns and visiting the Civil War
graves, which reminded one of the im-
perfections of our own national expe
ence. While socializing, everyone was
chatty and off guard. But once the ses-
sions began, one side reverted to its ex-
pected Cold War role—and I dont mean
the Soviet

Our side, which included Lisa Jame-
son, head of the Soviet desk at the Na-
tional Security Council, the coordinator
of the USIA Soviet-exchange program
and a hawkish Congressional aide, re-
inded me of the Soviet delegates I used
10 run into—generally stodgy and always
careful not to betray their "cau: AL
though a couple of American delegates
from the art world enlivened things, in
general, they perceived the mecting as
yet another battle of Cold War politics.

The Soviets, by contrast, were free-
wheeling and often divided. At o
ment, the director of the Tas
Theater took on a high official from the
ministry of culture. The subject w
whether a theater director needed to get
approval to accept an offer to stage a play
al 1. Both men were young and loose.
“You never answer my phone calls,” said
the director. “Why should 1 have to go
through your ministry when I can make
my own arrangements around the
world

A leading Soviet cosmonaut on Ihe
panel. who had seemed bored at the
proceedings, suddenly sprang to life.
“The theater company is government-
financed!” he said. “Irs not vour personal
property; how can you just go running
off everywhere you want?”

The director shot back that. cosmo-
s are highly paid and know nothing
of the economic hardships of the acting
class: “My actors have to work as waiters!
The theater is dark for two months every
summer and I have to feed them: you
maybe don't know about such problems.”

Then two top men in the Soviet book-
publishing world crossed swords over
their positions on the directors rights; a
celebrated Soviet hockey goalie muttered
that it was a fight about nothing and that
all present should go out to eat. A colum-
nist for /zvestia ended the match by hold.
ing up his hands and saving sardonically,
“Well. this is perestroika.

(continued on page 80)

“What's the Japanese word for enchilada?”

CHARLIE
SHEEN
PLAYS
BALL

from dugout to night out, the
star of eight men cut is a hit
in winning baseball looks

fashion By HOLLIS WAYNE

IF THE movie business were
a baseball team, Charlie
Sheen would probably be its
most valuable player. Fresh
from roles in Platoon and
Wall Street, Sheen has also
laced up his spikes for Orion
Pictures’ Fight Men Out,
Hollywood's version of the
1919 Chicago White Sox
baseball scandal. If Sheen
looks like a natural in these
baseball-inspired outfits, it's
because the former Santa
Monica High shortstop
considers America’s pastime
his first love. Judging by
looks—from the comfort of
casuals to more fori

wear—these fashions and
Sheen are batting 1.000.

eft: Silk-
taffeta baseball jacket, by Jean
Paul Gaultier, about $825;
cotton/wool knit turtleneck
sweater, $100, and cotton-
jersey knit pants, $100, both by

with rubber soles, by To Boot
New York, $125. Right: Chino-
twill baseball jacket, $150, cot-
ton-oxford shirt, about $54,
chino-twill pants, about $65,
flannel tie, about $20, all by
Scotland Yard Authentic Wear.

harlie at
the bat. Left: Pinstripe cotton
cardigan with baseball collar,
$135, mock-turtleneck shirt,
$55, and French terry-knit
pants, $75, all by Palmer &
Palmer Australia. Right: A play-

ing field of nifty baseball-
inspired fashion accessories
and bibelots, including a bat tie
with printed wood-grain pat-
tern and squared-ofí bottom, by
Belle Neckwear, $20. On it: A
14-kt.-gold baseball-and-bat tie
clip, from Matthew C. Hoff-
mann, New York, $750. Nearby:
A sterling-silver baseball pa-
perweight, from Tiffany & Com-
pany, Chicago, $895. Wool-blend
socks with embroidered base-
ball player, from Headphones
by Inatome International, about
$12. Circa 1950 wrist watch
with a baseball player on the
face, $375, and a Fifties base-
ball wrist watch Mickey
Mantle's signature, $250, both
from Time Will Tell, New York.
Next to the player watch is a 14-
kt.-gold bat-and-glove lapel pin
with six points of full-cut dia-
monds. about $220. and a 14-kt.-
gold haseball-diamond lapel
pin with 14 points of full-cut di-
amonds, about $285, both from
The Sportsman's Diamond Col-
lection by Wideband. (The nifty
Goudey 1933 Bahe Ruth hase-
ball card, good condition,
from the coin department at Car-
son Pirie Scott Chicago, $2500.)

JAMES IMBROGNO.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY
RICHARD FEGLEY

GROOMING BY
LUCIENNE ZAMMIT FOR CLOUTIER

оге fash-
ion hits. Left: Velvet evening
baseball jacket, about $395,
cotton Jacquard dress shirt,
about $195, wool tuxedo pants
with Hollywood waistband,
about $290, and cummer-
bund-and-bow-tie set, about
$130, all by Cecilia Metheny.
Right: Wool-melton baseb:
jacket with assorted appl
$305, cotton knit pullover shirt
with hood, $150, straight-leg
denim jeans with button fly,
about $60, all by Paul Smith.

PLAYBOY

THEN CAME GORBACHEV

(continued from page 72)

“There was Gorbachev on stage and Sakharov in
the audience. And the system didn’t crumble.”

Even more surprising, when I an-
nounced that I wanted to write about the
exchange, the Soviets, to a man and
woman, said, in effect, “Go for it.” It was
the Americans who, in general, wanted
to keep it off the record, arguing that this
was a private retreat. But since what I
was reporting concerned the Soviets, and
they were the ones who had to worry
about how it would play in Moscow, I
went with their vote for glasnost—open-
ness, remember.

During earlier visits to the Soviet
Union in 1963, I had witnessed the opti-
mism of the Khrushchev era—when
Stalin's crimes were first discussed open-
ly—deteriorate into what was essentially
a sterile society in 1970. The first inkling
of what the future might hold was given
to me in Amsterdam in 1983 by Arbatov.
He was open to argument, spoke on the
record and was capable of controversial
comments. But the best thing he did for
me at that meeting was to point out a
stout fellow down the hall whom he sug-
gested I interview on scientific and nucle-
ar-weapons issues.

So I approached Yevgeny Velikhov. Re-
member that it was not so long ago that
no top Soviet would consent to an inter-
view without an eyewitness, or a K.G.B.
guide, present, and the answers all came
out as party-line static. But here was a top
Soviet physicist and member of the Cen-
tral Committee willing to disappear with
me into a hotel room to face several tape
recorders and some barbed questions.
Velikhov would later confess that one of
his remarks to me that, “of course,” we
do have our crazies who might also want
10 build a Star Wars system caused him
some moments of discomfort.

But Velikhov is a brave man, as he
would later demonstrate when he risked
at least some years of his life flying in a
helicopter over Chernobyl, desperately
seeking a way of containing the smolder-
ing disaster below him. And, as is well
known to a large number of American
scientists who have dealt with him on
many sensitive intelligence matters (in-
cluding getting the supersecret Krasnoy-
arsk radar installation open to Western
inspection), he is driven by an urge for
honesty.

It is an urge born early in his student
days, when he sought to master the rigors
of the scientific method at a time when
the madman Lysenko controlled Soviet
science. (Velikhov was a few years behind
Gorbachey, but part of his generation.)

He would later tell me that the computer
gap and other failures of modern Soviet
technology stem precisely from the
heavy hand of such political interference.
Nevertheless, the physical sciences always
fared better than the social sciences in
the Soviet Union. The physical scientists
were better positioned to defend their
turf, because the preservation of their
scientific methods was vital for the na-
tional defense. As Velikhov put it, “The
social scientists just started to repeat or
illustrate the political development, and
after this, it was not science at all. Science
is very demanding; if you are not honest
with science, you lose very fast.”

The revolt of the scientists, led by the
hard scientists, is basic to the coming of
the Gorbachev revolution, and they had
their first success with Sakharov's reha-
bilitation.

I was at the February 1987 Moscow
peace conference that Sakharov attended
upon his return from Gorky. I caught
up with him at the cloakroom as he
was bundling up to go out into the cold.
He granted a short interview in which he
made the same critical remarks about the
Soviet presence in Afghanistan and hu-
man rights that he had tried to make
from internal exile. Who would have
thought that a little more than a year lat-
er, the Soviets would be getting out of
Afghanistan and that Sakharov would be
supporting Gorbachev in his efforts in
restructuring Soviet society? Or, as he
putit in The New York Times, "I think this
kind of leader is needed in a great coun-
try at such a decisive moment in history.”

Sakharovs unrepentant presence as a
delegate at that conference had to be one
of the most amazing moments in all Rus-
sian history. At the closing session, he was
seated in the grand hall of the Kremlin
about 30 rows back from the stage. Gor-
bachev was on the dais, listening intently,
while Frank Von Hipple from Princeton,
summarizing the work of the scientists’
group, ended by saying, “We were espe-
cially pleased to be able to have the
participation of academician Andrei
Sakharov . . . [who] stressed the particu-
lar importance of openness and democ-
ratization . . . the theme for which he was
awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.” And I
looked. There was Gorbachev on the
stage and Sakharov in the audience. And
the system didn't crumble.

Velikhoy, as vice-president of the Sovi-
et Academy of Sciences, was instrumen-
tal in the opening to fellow academician
Sakharov. But his goal is larger: to free

Soviet science and scientists from the re-
straints of all political cant. Although a
member of the Central Committee and a
close advisor to Gorbachev who has ac-
companied the leader on all of his for-
eign trips, Velikhov insists on the need
for a science independent of politics.
When we talked about this after a lecture
he had given at Moscow State University
on the history of nuclear weapons, in
which he admitted to disgust at having to
use American data because Soviet data
are still secret, he cited a peasant prov-
erb: “Hair is a good thing, and soup is
also a good thing; but when you mix the
two, what you get is not good.”

Peasant maxims notwithstanding, the
fact is that for much of its history, the So-
viet Union has been ruled by a politics
that is stylistically and substantially out
of joint with the requirements of a mod-
ern society. Thus, many influential tech-
nocrats such as Velikhov and Roald
Sagdeyey, the head of the Soviet Space
Research Institute, believe that a pro-
foundly different politics is required if
restructuring is to proceed.

As Gorbachev said in 1987 in a major
address defining perestroika for the Cen-
tral Committee, “Reorganization is a de-
cisive turn to science, the businesslike
partnership of science and practice to
achieve the best possible end results, an
ability to ground any undertaking on a
sound scientific basis.”

But scientific openness is not compat-
ible with a society driven by political
paranoia. For that reason, among the re-
formers, the push for domestic change is
inevitably tied to a re-evaluation of the
Soviets’ foreign-policy agenda.

At the heart of this new thinking is a
challenge to the siege mentality built up
over decades to ensure the survival of So-
viet state power. It recognizes that 40
years of Cold War confrontations with
the West and deep entanglement in
‘Third World politics have drained Soviet
resources without a commensurate addi-
tion to Soviet security.

“What is your interest to have a war?”
asks Arbatov, who says the historical
identification of land, people and re-
sources with power has been turned on
its head.

“The Germans fought for Lebensraum
[living space], and now they have the
smallest Lebensraum in their history, and
they are better off than ever,” he says.
“The Japanese have less territory with
fewer resources than ever, and they are
the fastest-growing economy in the
world.”

As Deputy Foreign Minister Vladimir
Petrovsky told me in the ornate foreign-
ministry headquarters, one of the wed-
ding-cake buildings that Stalin ordered
built, “Nowadays, the initial Leninist

(continued on page 142)

“I like to think these are going to spermicidal
sponges rather than to some damn car wash!”

LORDS

OF THE

PLIES

the lore and lures of fly-fishing

modern living
By GEOFFREY NORMAN

FLY-FISHING has been an irresistible passion for
so many men for such a long time that it is hard
to think of it as being trendy. But there is an in-
creased interest in this timeless sport. All sorts
of people are slipping into a pair of waders and
stepping into a cold stream to cast for trout.
Clean running water and elegantly colored fish,
finely made tackle and exquisite technique—
these things appeal as strongly to the hard-
pressed, fast-lane brokers of the late 20th
Century as they did to leisured sporting gentle-
men of another age.

Fly-fishing is not especially demanding physi-
cally and it is not a competitive activity. Brute
strength does not count for much. ‘Technique
and touch are far more important. Success,
which is hard to measure, depends on observa-
tion and detached inquiry. Aggressiveness is
less important than patience and persistence.
Fly-fishing is, in many ways, a contemplative en-
terprise that seems to appeal most profoundly

to men of action.

ILLUSTRATION BY KINUKO Y. CRAFT

е all know that Hem-
ingway was a passion-
ate fly-fisherman.
Chuck Yeager, the supreme fighter pilot,
is a fly-fisherman. So were Presidents
Herbert Hoover and Dwight Eisenhower.
Fly-fishing is a calling among spies. Gen-
eral Walter Bedell Smith, a director of

the CIA, was a fly-fisherman. So was

cold, achingly clear stream
flowing through a stand of
fragile aspen.

Then there are the fish. All trout are
beautifully colored. Bright but nev-
er gaudy, they invite admiration
and wonder. Just looking at them
gives you pleasure. And while they
are not smart, they are wary, fastidious
and unpredictable. Few trout
are easy to catch, and some,
such as the browns in Vermont's
Battenkill River or the rain-
bows in Silver Creek, outside
Ketchum, Idaho, are damned
difficult. They are a challenge
to anglers who have been at it

for a lifetime and who have

2,
[77

The lodge of the Crescent H Ranch. Adjacent to Fish
Creek and the Snake River at Wilson, Wyoming, the
ranch has miles of private spring-fed trout streams.

come to honestly love and re-

spect these challenging fish.

James Jesus Angleton, head of counter-
intelligence for many years.

The appeal of this simple sport is vari-
ous. On the most fundamental level, it
surrounds you, by necessity, in beauty.
Trout require clean water, and the best
trout streams are those that are unpollut-
ed and in something close to their natu-
ral state. Even the most hardened spirit

will be refreshed after some time on a

Catch of the day: A well-outfitted Ernest Hem-
ingway offers up a hrace of rainbow trout, tro-
phies for labor in fast-running Idaho waters.

The tools of fly-fishing account for an-
other part of its appeal. During the last
century, when fly rods were made from
Cane that was split into sections that were
mitered down according to private for-

mulas and glued together for strength,

the best came out of
the shops of gun-
smiths and vio-

linmakers. The

The Royal Coachman is one of the
most widely used lures in fly-fishing.
Unlike lures that resemble and mim-
ic the movements of certain in-
sects, the Coachman is specific to
none and looks very neat on a cap.

craftsmanship in those rods was of the
highest order. There was honest pride in
mere ownership, but the rods were built
for use and some are still in use today,
though most rate as collector's items at
fantastic prices.

Although cane is still available, still
beautiful and still preferred by some tra-
ditionalists, most rods today are made
from a graphite composite that was
derived from space research. These rods
are not as warm as their ancestors, but

they are made well and they breathe with

function. There is something irresistible

about a good fly rod. Your hands want it,

the way they do a well-used ax.
The other implements of the sport also
have something cf this property They
are tools but not just tools. An
English Ну box with the
small covered

compartments

suggests a kind of precision

and order that you seldom

find in ordinary life. There

is not the bulk that you as-

sociate with some of the

passions. You can pack

what you need for a week-

end of fishing in the

trunk of a small sporis

car or, in a pinch, in a
carry-on bag.

For many anglers, it

would not be fly-

fishing if it weren't for

the flies and the fly

tying. The fly con-

sists of some fur

and feathers tied

to a hook in any

of thousands of

proven patterns.

This 7 1/2’ clas-
sic Battenkill
bamboo rod, with
CFO ЇЇ reel, line
and front-loop
splice, is from
Orvis in Man-
chester, Vermont.
The price: $1050.

"The fly is the thing that fools the fish,
and it can be tied with care and precision
or not. While fly tying is not an art, there
is much art in it, and some tiers have built.

reputations and their work is collected

PLY-PISHING

These people have taken up fly-fishing and,
thus, done something useful with their lives:
Tom Brokaw
Jimmy Carter
Prince Charles (above)

William Hurt
Don Johnson
Michael Keatan
Charles Kurault
Jack Lemmon
Daniel Patrick Moynihan
Jack Nicklaus
Dan Rother
Paul Volcker
Ted Williams
and exhibited. Usually, the angler who
ties his own flies does so because it gives
him pleasure. And theres always the
hope that one day he will fool a five-
pound rainbow with a fly he tied himself.

Casting that fly is the thing for many
anglers. It requiresa combination of tim-
ing and touch, so that when they do it
right, it just plain feels good. Many an-
glers find that if the fish are not biting,
they still enjoy themselves, taking their
satisfaction from the sweet, repetitive
rhythm of their casting. Lifting the line
from the water and turning it over with a

crisp backcast, (continued on page 153)

BLUE TROUT
ALA
NORMAN

While most trout are not caught
for food these days, it is still per-
missible to eat one, provided it
comes from a stream where it’s le-
gal to keep them and provided you
Kill only as many fish as you intend
to eat immediately. A trout loses
any claim as a delicacy once it has
been frozen.

The best way to limit the eating
of trout is to make your meals at
streamside. A delicious dish called
blue trout requires very fresh fish.
Its color results from the presence
of the lubricating agent that makes
the fish slippery to the touch.

The restaurant method of prep-
aration calls for scalding the fish in
a mixture of boiling vinegar and
water, then simmering it an addi-
tional 15 or 20 minutes in a court
bouillon that is made from white
wine, salt, pepper, onion, celery,
thyme and carrots, among other
ingredients. The finished trout is
served with hollandaise sauce,
which is something like serving
straight bourbon with a strawber-
ry. Also, it is more trouble than you
want to go to at streamside.

You can make a wonderful blue
trout merely by boiling some water
and adding two tablespoons of
acid—vinegar or lemon juice—per
fish. Clean your trout and add it to
the water. When it comes to a boil,
cover the pan and remove it from
the heat. Allow it to stand for
about five minutes. Drain the fish
carefully and serve it with some
baby potatoes you have already
boiled, butter the fiddlehead ferns
that you have picked and open a
bottle of Pouilly-Fuissé that you
have chilled in the stream. Before
you lie down in the sun to nap, be
thankful that we live in a world
that has learned to get along with-
ош heavy sauces.

PHOTOGRAPHY (RIGHT) BY JAMES IMEROGNO

NE YEAR ACO, Í was on a publicity tour for one of my novels. On impulse, after a TV interview
in Dallas, I stopped at a bookstore.
“I'm a writer” 1 said. "I'm just checking on how my books are doing.”
“Writer?” the manager asked. "What did you”
“L created Rambo.”
The manager stepped back as if I might be dangerous. He looked me over, all five feet, nine inches and 155 pounds of
me. “Sure you did.” He gestured soothingly. “Of course.”
“But I did. I really did." WRONG.
“Oh, Im sure.” He nodded, with

ie seca ep THE.

really believe you. I do. But, just for 4
HE’S A SKINNY
the record, didn't Sylvester Stal-

er MAN WHO

“No, he created Rocky”

“But what about Rambo?” MIDWEST PROFESSOR—
That's a long story.

; CREATED

In the summer of 1969, I was 26, a
graduate student at Penn State Univer- AND HE THINKS
sity. Specializing in American litera-

ture, I'd finished my master's thesis on HR A M B O

Ernest Hemingway and was starting

SLY'S AN ANGEL
my doctoral dissertation on John
Barth. But, in my heart, I wanted to be article
a novelist. By DAVID MORRELL

I knew that few novelists made а liv-
ing at it, so I'd decided to become a literature professor, an occupation in which I'd be surrounded by books and allowed
time to write. A Penn State faculty member, Philip Klass, whose science-fiction pseudonym is William Tenn, had given me
generous instruction in the techniques of fiction writing. Still, as Klass had pointed out, “] can teach you how to write but
not what to write about."

What would I write about?

By chance, I watched a television program that changed my life. It was the CBS Evening News, and on that sultry Au-
gust evening, Walter Cronkite juxtaposed two stories whose friction flashed like lightning through my mind

"The first story showed a fire fight in Vietnam. Sweaty American soldiers crouched in the jungle, shooting bursts from

М-16$ to repel an enemy attack. Incoming bullets kicked up dirt and shredded leaves. Medics (continued on page 134)

ILLUSTRATION BY ROY PENOLETON

FROM CHILLY DENMARK
COMES SOMEONE AS HOT AS

ELLE MICHAELSEN stands on

the balcony of her West
Hollywood apartment, eying
the luxurious swimming pool
three floors below. It's an un-
usually warm day for early
spring—even by Southern
California standards—with
the thermometer hovering
in the low 80s. Helle would
be at the pool except that she
has business to attend to. And
Helle (pronounced hella) is
very serious about business. "I
want very much to be a suc-
cess,” she says in the charm-
ing accent of her native
Denmark. “I love Denmark,

but if you are a success-mind-

ed person, you cannot suc-
ceed there. That's what made
me take the step to move to another country” Actually, Helle did succeed in Denmark.
From an early age, she knew she wanted to be an actress, and by the time she was fresh
out of high school, she was working regularly in Danish films and TV Helle (who uses
the first name Helena for acting) top-lined three action films that played Scandinavia

and gained some notable publicity But being a film star in Denmark is like being an
auto magnate in Peru—the real game is in Hollywood, and Helle, who is now 19,

wants to be a player. “I love being around people who really want to be successful,” she

says. Despite her accent and
newcomer status, Helle has al-
ready found work and an illus-
trious social life in Hollywood.
She recently worked asan extra
in the upcoming Tony Curtis
film Midnight. In Denmark, she
was a leading lady; in America,
she is still a bit player. “But
that's good for you,” she philos-
ophizes. “You appreciate things
more when you have to work
for them.” Socially, things are a
bit more in keeping with her
stellar past. She met fellow
transplanted Dane Brigitte
Nielsen at several parties, and it
was the ex-Mrs. Rambo who
recommended that Helle try
out for Playmate. “Being a
Playmate is important to me,”
says Helle. "Its a way of adver-
sing myself.” She plans to use

"| love masculine, conserv-
ative men,” insists
Danish-born Helle. "Ameri-
can men are like that to
me. They have the best
manners—they open the
door for you and pay for
dinner You can get
spoiled being around
American men."

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FE:

“Somehow, most of my friends are men. I'm more comfortable with them
thon with women,” says Helle. "I'm the kind of person who needs security
around me, and being around men gives me that kind of security.”

her Playmate money to hire a voice coach to help her work on her accent, which some-
times stands in the way of bigger, better parts. As it turns out, Gitte isnt the only po-
tentially helpful friend Helle has met socially. At another party, she was introduced to
Gitie’s ex, who, despite gossip linking him to superdeb Cornelia Guest, asked Helle to
join him for an evening of champagne and dinner. “Sylvester Stallone is a very attrac-
tive man, whether he has money or not,” says Helle. “For me, being around people like
producers and actors is a learning experience. I look up to them, because 1 want to be
the same as they are.” Not sur-
prisingly, Helle secs both Gitte
and Sly as her kindred spirits.
All three are dedicated to their
careers, and all three are self-
made. But Helle may feel a bit
closer to her fellow country-
woman. “Brigitte is very sweet
and very intelligent,” she say
She laughs when Gites contro-
versial reputation is discussed.
“Scandinavian women have to
live up to their reputations,
right? I mean, we are free girls.
We're out on the market," jokes
Helle, adding with a mis
chievous wink, “and we usually

like anything Italian.

“My mother always tells
me, You have never been
in love. Vou dort know

what love is: And | guess
shes right,” admits Helle.
"You know how girls ore.
We meet nice men and
we go out on dates, and
ofter a while, we look for
something else."

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

NAME: ni eva ea XS ам
pust: A $ wst: _ZU urs gen.
HEIGHT: СКАРА метонт: aka _.

BIRTH DATE: A\ /2. le 8 BIRIEPLACE: Aalborg Denmerz

AMBITIONS: o

ыа UNE сша, vie,

CON

FAVORITE MOVIES: Laroya Cria PO
CasaVlenca, Gora win Hu lod
THE ACTRESS I'D MOST LIKE TO MEET: _ COE Cee

- Mas o е. MA)
IDEAL DATE: ol E e

and a Mor hen
"
THE THING I LIKE BEST ABOUT AMERICAN MEN: ve ea

Mars asua gasez Yaenver 5s ad
Hay new ow Xe ate Ye Women

SAM MINO саху WR SE ond. ov, [m S,
and im Wish "ems Sx Sriend un
School Me"

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

While on a visit to the Holy Land, Jimmy Carter
was given a private tour of the sights by Isracli
prime minister Yitzhak Shamir, When they ar
rived at the Wailing Wall, Shamir explained that
anything said near the wall was heard directly by
God and suggested that Carter stand close if he
had any special requests for Him to hear.

‘The former President approached the wall and
said, “I wish that the U.S. Federal budget deficit
were lower.”

"God has heard every word,"
"and will certainly grant your wish

"I wish," Carter continued, “that there were
peace between the US. and the U.S.S.R.

hamir said,

“Your wish will surely be fulfilled."
"And 1 wish,” Carter said, "that the Israeli
occupied territories be returned to the Arabs."
“Mr. Carter,” Shamir huffed, “remember, you
are only talking to a wall!"

Whats the difference between a poodles hump-
ing your leg and a pit bulls humping your leg?
You let the pit bull finish.

Mother, whats wrong?” the daughter asked, re-
sponding to an urgent phone message.

“Darling, first the bad news. Your father mis-
took some cyanide for tooth powder this morn-
ing and died.”

“Oh, my God!" her daughter exclaimed.
“What could be the good news?”

“Cyanide fights plaque.”

A man walked into a Baltimore bar and asked
the bartender if he could bring his cocker spaniel
inside to watch the baseball game since it loved to
watch the Orioles play. Business was slow and the
bartender liked animals, so he agreed to let the
dog sit on the bar near the TV set.
In the fifth inning, the Orioles scored a run on
a double and a long single. The dog jumped
around in circles and yapped excitedly. In the
eighth, they scored another run after two walks
and a bloop single. Once again, the dog went
wild,
“Man, he really gets excited,” the bartender
said after the Orioles blew the game three to two.
iat in the world does he do when the Orioles

“1 don't know,”

owner replied. “I've only
had him two year:

This is for waiting for me till I got outa the joint,”
the convicted burglar said to his ТИЕТ). as he
draped a Tull length mink over her shoulders

“Oh, Bubba, its gorgeous,” she squealed,
pirouetting before a mirror. "It must be worth at
least three to five years!”

A Baton Rouge barber claims he knew that Jim-
my Swaggart was up to something funny when
the fallen evangelist asked him to trim the top,
take a little off the sides and shave his palms.

Sign spotted in a bikers bar: THANK YOU FOR NOT
BREATHING WHILE I SMOKE.

An elderly woman entered a large furniture
store and was greeted by a much younger sales-
man. “Is there something in particular I may
show you?” he asked.

“Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa,” she said.

“You mean a sectional sofa,” he suggested

“Sectional, schmectional," she said, shrugging.
“All I want is an occasional piece in the living
room.”

Two gay friends met at a health club, While
bringing each other up to date, one whispered,
"I got circumcised two weeks ago.”
“How marvelous!” the other said, “Let me see.”
He pulled down his shorts and proudly dis-
played his equipment

“Ooooh!” his friend shrieked.
years younger.”

“You look ten

An attorney approached Saint Peter at the
pearly gates and complained, “There must be
some mistake. I'm not supposed to be here yet —
Tm only fifty-two.”

“ГИ have to check our records,” Saint Peter
four name?"

“John 's not my time."

Several minutes int Peter came back
and said, “I'm sorry, Mr. Miller, everything seems
to be in order”
it e! I'm only fifty-two.”
lot according to our records, Mr. Miller,”
Saint Peter replied. "I personally checked your
file and, based on your billing hours, you're sev-
enty-eight.”

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a post-
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, Playboy,
Playboy Bldg, 919 N. Michigan Ave, Chicago,
Ш. 60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

103

“Why is it every time we get together we end up squabbling?”

A MAN’S GUIDE TO
WOMEN’S MAGAZINES

they may be for her, but they're about you

ONE-OF US came with an

owners manual. And so

much of what we read is

supposed to tell us who and what we are.
Women's magazines—that vast sea of lip-
gloss ads and erotic fashion layouts—
have elevated that chatter to a high volume.
What goes on inside womens maga-
zines? Work your way past the pages of
ads for nail polish and hair gel and con-
sider some typical features: "Loving
an Unfaithful Man," "Why Smart
Men Still Want Dumb Wom-
95 Ways to Meet a

Man, "What His
Wallet Says
About Him,"
“Your

Alarm-

ing Prince Charming,” “How to Get a Man
to Wear a Condom.” Get the feeling
someone's talking about you?

Each month, Cosmopolitan, Redbook,
Glamour, Elle and the rest offer their tens
of millions of readers hundreds of thou-
sands of words of advice about us. Some
of it is diagnostic, sort of: “Infidelity is a
complex problem with numerous causes”
(Womens Day). "As a general rule, some-
one of 40 who has never been in a solid
relationship is not considered a good bet
for commitment” (New Woman). "Cou-
ples who have good sex seem not to take
sex all that seriously They play at it
rather than work at it. They know it's OK
to laugh in bed" (Redbool). “Guys are
probably unfaithful at some point with-
out women knowing it” (Self). “Men do
indeed have fears. ... Big men are afraid
of little men, little men of big men. Some
are afraid of the dark, one of
cornfields, many of being in-
terviewed. Some fear

SEX-SURVEY SCOREBOARD

REDBOOK
1974

REDBOOK
1987

38% МА 63%

1. Want more sex

2.Lost virginity 13 so n 19

before 16

3.Six or more 15
lovers

4. intercourse.
three times a
week or more

16. Group sex 4 МА 19 4
17. Lesbi NA a
rience
18. Drink when s 40 66 NA
making love
19. Use pot when i м 30 NA
making love
20.Use sex toys 21 ма Na аз
МА = Not Asked
COMMENTS:

1. Glamour т
higher: 67%

2. Redbook’s 1987 survey asked question as “17 or younger

3. Percentage of New Woman readers who've had 25 or more lovers: 19. Percentage of
Cosmo readers who've had 25 or more lovers: 15.

1. Percentage of Cosmo readers who answered "At least once a day": 8.

3. Most orgasmic group of Cosmo readers: 35 and older, 26%.

6. Percentage of Cosmo readers who report having had 11 or more orgasins in a single
session: 6.

7 Percentage of women who said "Never": Cosmo, 11; New Woman, 13; Redbook, 26.
Only Cosmo had a separate category for “every day”: 4%.

9, Rercentag ol Cosmo readers who said their mouths responded erotically to stimula-

tion: 65.

12. Other magazines asked, “Have you ever?"; Cosmo asked, “Do you regularly?”

Percentage of Cosmo readers who do so "frequently": 13.

15. Percentage of Redbook readers (1974) who confess to having had “a fairly strong de-
sire” to have one: 38. Percentage of Cosmo readers over 35 who've had one: 69.

16. Percentage of New Woman readers who say they'd like to try it: 10.

17. Percentage of Redbook readers who described it as "very" or "somewhat enjoyable"
70. Percentage of Cosmo readers who've ever had a lesbian experience and are still
having them: 19.

‚ders (April 1988): 56%. The rate for Cosmo readers under 18 was even

19. Redbooks ШТА suryey asked only about pot in 1987 it was pot (14%) and cocaine (67)
vi %. oils, 25%; "penis-shaped objects” (don't
ask), 19%; feathers (feathers?), 2%; other, 16%. Cosmo asked, What do you use when

masturbating? Answers were hands, 84%; water spray 28%; vibrators, 27%. Incredi-
bly, Cosmo included no categories for oil. feathers or "penis-shaped objects”

beautiful women, others not having
work. One Westerner, believe it or not,
feared John Wayne's death” (Cosmopoli-
tan). Obviously, there arc a lot of women
out there who've wondered, “Why are
guys like that?" Most of them are proba-
bly still wondering.

Which is why so much of the advice is
practical: how to get a man, and what to
do with him once you've got one. What
Field & Stream is to duck hunters, Cosmo-
politan is to single women. Among its ^25
Ways to Meet a Man": “Develop an inter-
est in bowling and, whenever the mo-
ment seems romantically ripe, be sure
your fingers suddenly get stuck in
the ball.” Or "Develop an interest in
horse racing." Or "Get a dog and walk it
often. Dog-walking men are as proud of
their pets as new fathers are of their ba-
bies.” Or "In the supermarket, subtly ma-
neuver over to a man whose cart holds
one bottle of Mexican beer, one frozen
Salisbury-steak dinner and one quart of
chocolate-chocolate-chip ice cream. Hes
sure to be single!”

Once the women's-magazine reader
has met her man, what then? So copious
is the advice that it's hard to believe wom-
en ever navigated this mine field without
their favorite magazine. The very gram-
mar of relationships lies in these pages.
"Seduction often begins with an evening
of conversation, otherwise known as a
date," New Woman advises. But then
she'd better watch herself. "Fast sex," ac-
cording to Glamour, "while sometimes
exciting, often hinders the development
of intimacy. The usual pattern is that the.
person who is most uncomfortable ex-
changing confidences begins to feel
bored (often a disguise for fear) and ini-
tiates sex as a way to avoid further revela-
tions.” Redbook tells its readers, “A hug
can say things like: I am here for you any
time. I really understand your feelings.
Please celebrate my joy with me. Allow
me to share your sadness" A mens
magazine might think a hug simply says,
"Hey are those for real or what?”

In fact, ıhese days, any kind of sex
can be a dicey proposition. AIDS has
changed the rules, and cach womens
magazine has its own bias when sale sex
rears its latex-covered head. “Some activ-
ities are 100 percent safe,” Self says. "Dry

kissing, hugging and caressing, massage,
he

mutual masturbation (provided
doesnt ejaculate near your
vagina or broken skin)"
Vogue, with its custom-
ary nod to fashion,
warns that “get
ling a man to
wear a con-
dom isn't
as sim-
ple as
say-
ing,

“You look better in a hat.” Cosmo doesn't see a problem here
but counsels, “When you're on the verge of slecping with a
new man, don't bring out a box of condoms that has only one
or two left in it.”
Not even Casmo maintains that every Mr. Right
Now will turn into a Mr. Right. How many ways
his is the wrong man for
you"? In her popular “Agony Column,” Cosmos
Irma Kurtz variously characterizes readers
men—“appears to have
difficulty maintaining inti-
mate relationships

can you tell readers, "

4 THE VOGUE
REFRIGERATOR

One reason that Vogue woman is
always on the go is that she
doesn't have anything to eat at
home. Just the essentials: cham-
pagne, caviar, diet gelato. And
the even more essentials: design-
er water to spritz on her face, cos-
metics that cost more than a

or self-control,”

“an insecure, selfish hothead with a complete lack of seruples
“a useless anchor"—and advises, “Tell him
you will leave him if he doesn't shape up." Mademu

THESE ARE A FEW OF THEIR FAVORITE THINGS

Ping putter and extra-virgin olive
oil she may not use for cooking.

«THE COSMO
MEDICINE CHEST

That Cosmo girl is always pre-
pared. She stuffs her chest with a
year’s supply of pills—pills to
make her thin, to keep her tem-
perature down, io keep her op-
tions open. She also has ointment
to protect you from her active life-
style. She can shower, shave,
frost, polish and generally get her-
self spiffed up with only 22 min-
utes’ notice. She says yes to life,
yes to fun and, probably, yes to you.

v THE ELLE PURSE

Here inside her Chanel bag lies
the body of the Elle girl’s thought.
It's where she stores her reli-
gious artifacts: her Bible, the Filo-
fax, her shroud, a Hermes scarf,
her holy water, Evian. She has her
vitamins, her cards, her keys and
a pair of fresh ones—in case her
date lasts a little longer than she
figured. Oh, yes, and a condom,
because she's nobody's martyr.

selle makes

no bones about what is not acceptable behavior: “If any nonvi

olent crime deserves capital punishment, it is lateness.”
If much of this advice seems self-evident (not to men
tion contradictory and hostile), maybe that's be

cause

women find us complex and
confusing, Not so different, really,
from the way we find women.
But thank goodness we
BS. know where the dues
> lie buried: in her

young for the com-
mitment you re-
quire,” “a user,”

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HARRY EDWARDS

carded, egg-bald and huge (6'8", 260

pounds), sports sociology professor
Harry Edwards looks like a cross between
Isaac Hayes and Paul Bunyan. The organ-
izer of the black protest at the 1968 Mexico
City Olympics—which climaxed in Tommie
Smith and John Carlos’ blach-power salute
on the victory stand— Edwards has become
the principal torchbearer for minority ath-
leies in America. In that capacity, he is kept
busier than the Chicago Cubs bull pen. Aft-
er long phone conversations with baseball
commissioner Peter Ueberroth and the front
office of the San Francisco 49ers (he's а con-
sultant to both) and interviews with two TV
news teams, Edwards addressed our ques-
tions with the casually ominous erudition
that characterizes his demeanor. Says inter-
viewer Robert S. Wieder: “My editors sug-
gested that I ash tough questions to gel a
rise out of Edwards. Unfortunately, they neg-
lected to ash where 1 wanted my personal
effects sent.”

PLAYDOY: You correctly predicted the
protests at the 1968 Olympic games, the
violence in 1972, the African boycott of
1976, the U.S. boycott of 1980 and the So-
viet boycott of 1984. What's on tap for the
1988 Seoul Games?
EDWARDS: As I've said since 1983, an un-
mitigated disaster: a situation where
people who plan to go to the games
change their minds and people who are
at the games leave. It wouldn't take much
to set that stampede off. South Korea is
not recognized diplomatically by a sub-
stantial number of nations, it's technical-
ly still at war with North Korea, it’s a
" country that has
the angriest tremendous domes-
tic problems and

i it’s a client state in

man in Sports — D uos

cal split. The

tackles n.f.l. demonstrations of

= ч 1968, the boycotts

racism, Cries о? 1980 and 1984

and the violence

and terrorism of

foul at college pd, terrorism of

a come to the fore in

coruption antl 1988. unless some.

" thing changes rad-
predicts olym- ically and rapidly

n 2.
pic mayhem PLAYBOY: But the

Soviets and the
Eastern Bloc na-
tions have already

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM ZIMBEROFF

ырен the invitation. You still see trou-
le?

EDWARDS: Remember, in 1984, they sent
the same message to Peter Ueberroth un-
til the very last. By what logic would they
tell the country they were going to boy-
cott that they planned to do so? They'd
let them go ahead and spend the money
to provide for them, and then, as the
games approached, look for an excuse
to pull out—domestic demonstrations,
a threat of terrorism. That now is a
pattern. South Korea can hold the games
by creating a virtual police state, but
those aren't the games of brotherhood
that supposedly highlight one’s athletic
career.

PLAYBOY: Ueberroth hired you to help i in-
crease the number of minorities em-
ployed by professional baseball teams in
nonplaying positions. What's in it for
you?

EDWARDs: Each generation has its obliga-
tions in terms of “the struggle.” Jackie
Robinson had his obligations. Curt Flood
had his. I'm shouldering my part of the
burden. Its like embalming: Somebody
has to do it. I'm glad it’s me.

PLAYEOY: Remarkably few baseball man-
agers have been sacked since you were
hired. Has the visibility of your efforts
kept some inept managers in their jobs?
EDWARDS: We're looking at a backlash
here, but that can’t sustain itself for two
years. I'm more concerned about the
racial configuration of baseball two,
three or eight years from now. In ten
years, minorities will be a majority of the
players. Baseball can't remain stable with
a plantation system of organization,
where you have lily-white front offices
and minority players. Then you get
labor-management problems overlaid
with race and class problems. If you have
minorities in the front office, you can
handle drug abuse without consider-
ations of race, and you eliminate the
problem that came up in the football
strike, where Gene Upshaw stated flat-
out, They won't negotiate because І am
black and they are white.

PLAYBOY: If there's no real progress,
whats your recourse?

EDWARDS: There's only so much that jaw-
boning can do. At some point, the owners
have to make the decision that giving

minorities access to front-office positions
isn't just good, it's good business. If they
don't make that decision, my exit will be
as public as my entry.

PLAYBOY: When a Jimmy the Greek or an
A] Campanis blurts out some racist non-
sense, are you indignant or are you
pleased to see racism in sports reveal
itself?

EDWARDS: I'm indignant only when there
isn’t a reaction appropriate to the state-
ment. For example, 1 am very indignant
over the reaction to [Houston Astros
pitcher] Bob Knepper's statement that
women have no place umpiring, that his
religion says God intended women to
serve plates, not work behind them. That
was received in the media as a joke. If
he'd said that blacks were meant to be on
the field only as athletes, we'd have had
another Al Campanis situation. But be-
cause we are an avowedly sexist society
even more than a racist society, it's a
laughing matter. When I see Knepper's
kind of pathological sexism received
with snickers, I'm outraged. We can't go
on reducing women to ambulatory incu-
bators and vegetating intake valves. And
I think Playboy has had a major role in
perpetuating that image of women. I
don't buy the idea that a woman's body is
to be hidden, but where's the goddamned
balance? Keep the centerfold, but put as
much emphasis on womens legitimate
achievements.

PLAYBOY: Proposition 48, the rule requir-
ing a C average in high school and decent
S.A.T. scores for college freshmen to play
sports, is two years old. Is it working?
EDWARDS: To the extent that it can. The
fact is, it has very little to do with the ath-
lete's academic success once he’s on the
college campus. Afier your freshman
year, you can have less than a C average
and still compete. Proposition 48 was ca-
pable of sending the message, particular-
ly to black communities, that we expect
kids to excel in academics as well as in
athletics. But it isn't completely success-
ful, and it may have provoked more
cheating, in the same way that drug test-
ing hasnt really reduced drug abuse
among athletes but has created a black
market in urine.

PLAYBOY: Why should anyone who simply
wants a pro (continued on page 132)

ASPEN

| WHEN ITS |

NEXT TIME YOU PLAN TO VISIT
. THIS GLITZY MOUNTAIN
SKI RESORT, WAIT UNTIL THE

SNOW'S GONE

travel By TOM PASSAVANT

FOR SOME, the aim of a summer vacation in the great out-
doors is the experience itself. If you go rock-climbing or
river rafting, the price you're supposed to pay is beans on
a tin plate or a hard night in a sleeping bag on the
ground. But for others—count me among them—the
destination is just as important as the journey If
I've been out wrestling mother nature all day, someone
else can set up the bivouac; I'll take a couple of mesquite-
grilled lamb chops, a bottle of California cabernet and a
nice new condo with a hot tub in the living room. That's
my idea of a destination.

There's a place out West that has that kind of summer
vacation figured out. It’s the winter ski mecca, Aspen,
Colorado. Yes, Aspen, capital of glitz, snow and movie
stars in stretch pants. But—surprise!—this small town of
8000 year-round residents, nearly 8000 feet above sea
level, has a secret it is parting with reluctantly: You may
come for the winters, but you stay for the summers. Be-
cause it’s in the grassy months that you actually see the
colors and hues of the gorgeous terrain; nor does access
to that terrain require bindings, tickets, lines or lessons.
It requires only that you choose something and do it:
hike, canter, climb, raft, fish, golf, jog, lob, soar, paddle,
swim or loaf. And then, having done, you may dine, sip,
shop, soak, browse, stargaze, applaud, luxuriate.

Aspen in the summer is the perfectly balanced leisure
experience for the upwardly mobile. You can revel in the
wildflowers and huff and puff to your heart's content—
and do it just minutes from a collection of trendy restau-
rants and glittery shops worthy of a major city A
morning hike up a mountain trail to the utter stillness of
the lake at the foot of the Maroon Bells may be followed

ILLUSTRATION BY GORDON KIBBEE

113

114

WHEN IT WAS COOL

roll out those trippy, hippie,
dippy days of summer

memoir By CRAIG VETTER

HEN 1 шукр in Aspen, the fa-
vorite movie there was King of
Hearts. They used to play it at
the Wheeler Opera House two

or three times a year, and it was

very tough to get a seat. And if you

did manage to jam in, it was tough to

hear the dialog for the cheering and

laughing and general yahooing that
swept the beautiful old theater from
the moment the film began to the mo-
ment it ended. The people of Aspen
loved that movie, and when I finally
saw it with them, I understood why.

It's the story of a pretty little town that

is abandoned entirely to the care of

the inmates of an insane asylum. Alan

Bates plays a soldier who stumbles in-

to the place out of the “sane” world

and eventually gives in to the deep
charm of lunacy behind the notion
that if everyone around you is hope-
lessly bent, playing it straight is crazy.

Arose ina banana forest, after all, isa

weed.

By the time I'd been in Aspen six
months, itoccurred to me that King of
Hearts was more along the lines of a
documentary than a work of fiction.
"The real lunacy of the place ripens in
summer, of course, about the time you
see the first skate-board stoner mak-
ing who-cares slaloms between the mo-
tor homes and the Porsches down the
Independence Pass road. When the
Pass opens, usually sometime around
the beginning of June, Aspen is no
longer the end of the road, and peo-
ple begin to stop for a few days on
their way to other places. I stopped in
late spring of 1973 for what was going
to be four days. Somehow, it turned
into three years. I tried to leave sever-
al times in those first couple of
months, and I remember a friend's
telling me that if I were going to get
out, I'd better do it while the hills
were mud and the trees were bare, be-
cause if I were still there when the big.
green hand of summer gota grip on
the valley, it would wreck me for lifeat
ordinary altitudes.

1 felt the full truth of his admoni-
tion that Fourth of July lt was
twilight. Several thousand people had
crowded onto the lawn in Wagner
Park and faced themselves toward
Ajax Mountain as if it were about to

speak. Which it was, in a way: We were
waiting for a fireworks show. It was
warm and there were clouds over-
head, remnants of one of the after-
noon thunderstorms that move
through the valley as if they have
been hired by the chamber of com-
merce to green the hills and tamp the
dust. The smell of marijuana hung
like campfire smoke over an Indian
village, and as the smudgy clouds
parted and lifted, a full moon rode
out from under them and then just
stood there smiling at the big yellow
drama of her own entrance, and the
crowd went absolutely fucking crazy.
They screamed and yelled and some
of them got down on their knees and
salaamed. When the fireworks were
finally shot off the flanks of the moun-
tain, there was some clapping and
oohing, but nothing compared with
the tidal ovation that had greeted the
moon.

I stood there thinking, Yes, І could
make a life among these bananas,
here at the foot of one of the prettiest
mountains on earth, in this thin air, in
a town whose idea of law and order
is to come within a hair of elect-
ing Hunter Thompson its sheriff.
Thompson was actually the reason I'd
gone to Aspen. We were in the process
of scissoring and splicing a long series
of nearly unintelligible tape record-
ings into what would finally be a
Playboy Interview. Vd figured it would
take three or four days to wrestle a
first version out of the raw material,
so I took a parlor room over the bar in
the Hotel Jerome, laid out the tran-
script, set up a typewriter and got
ready to go to work. Thompson, who
keeps roughly the hours of a vampire
bat, arrived sometime after midnight,
and from that moment on, the room
was host to a carnival of loons—bar-
tenders and waitresses, cowboys and
carpenters, politicians and artists,
smugglers and athletes—all of whom
described themselves as refugees
from whatever is serious about the
world.

“Work?” I remember Thompson
saying when I suggested that we prob-
ably ought to try to make a start on
our project. “There'll be no work until
we are too (concluded on page 128)

by lunch at Gordon's, arguably the best
restaurant between Chicago and Los An-
geles. An early-morning horseback ride
up a twisting copper trail may be fol-
lowed by cappuccino and fresh croissants
at Pour La France, where the pastry
would hold its own with that of a café on
the Boulevard St. Michel. Are you begin-
ning to get the drift?

Another aspect of Aspen appealing to
the discerning summer sybarite is its po-
litical sensibilities. Think of most of the
beautiful places where rich people go to
play. Do the words Republican and WASP
spring to mind? Palm Springs names
streets after Bob Hope and Frank Sina-
tra. Newport is full of Top-Siders and
matrons who send their money out to be
dry-cleaned. Las Vegas hasn't seen a nat-
ural-fiber garment in years. Santa Bar-
bara is populated by unindicted Cabinet
members. Where's a nice liberal boy or
girl with disposable income going to have
fun? Aspens the place. Its where
Democrats from Hollywood and New
York can drive their fully loaded Jeep
Grand Wagoneers to Little Cliff's Bakery
for doughnuts in the morning. It’s where
Goldie Hawnand Kurt Russell call home.
Its where Don Johnson met Barbra
Streisand. It’s where Gary Hart met his
Waterloo.

Another seasonal secret is that al-
though Aspen happily caters to the in-
credibly rich and the stop-and-stare
famous, you don't have to be in either cat-
egory to enjoy the place, especially in the
summer. The tourist board may not like
the word, but summertime is . . . dis-
count time in the Rockies. Two thirds
of all visitors to the Rockies come in the
summer—surprise again, ski fans. But
until recently, many have been adventur-
ers driving Winnebagos. Now the pleas-
ures of mountain resorts such as Aspen
are being discovered by people who
prefer condos to campers, and who like
paying half the winter rate for luxury
lodgings.

The notion that the pleasures of the
great outdoors can be combined with
more indoor, civilized pastimes is not
new in these parts. Miners who flocked
to Aspen in the 1880s to pickax silver
out of the mountains used some of their
grubstake to erect the Wheeler Opera
House—which is still standing and doing
standing-room business. After the silver
ran out, the town faded but gota rebirth
after World War Two, when Chicago in-
dustrialist Walter Pacpcke decided it was
the perfect place to create a retreat for
business types who could gather among
the pines, hold conferences and solve the
world's problems. The New Age began
carly in Aspen. That's why the town now
hosts the Aspen Institute for Humanis-
tic Studies, a prestigious summer camp

(continued on page 151)

“Your troubles are over, sir—Maxine here is
our answer to premature ejaculation!”

Й N T

115

116

THE
(ul MO
TOOK
LESSON:

"my god,” he gasped, stunned. "what youve /earned!!”

fiction

By HARRY TURTLEDOVE

KAREN VAUGHAN looked at her watch. “Oh,
my goodness, I'm late,” she exclaimed,
for all the world like the White Rabbit.
Her fork dattered on her plate as she got
up from the table. Tivo quick strides took
her to her husband. She pecked him on
the cheek. “I've got to run, Mike. Have
fun with the dishes. See you a little past
ten.”

He was still eating. By the time he'd
swallowed the bite of chicken breast he'd
been chewing, Karen was almost out the
door, “What is it tonight?" he called after
her. “The cake-decorating class?”

She frowned at him for forgetting.
“No, that's Tuesdays. Tonight it’s law for
nonlawyers.”

“Oh, that's right. Sorry" The apology,
he feared, went for nought; Karen's heels
were already clicking on the stairs as she
headed for the garage. Sighing, he
finished dinner. He didn't feel especially
guilty about not being able to keep track
of all his wife's classes. He wondered how
she managed herself.

He squirted Ivory Liquid onto a
sponge and attacked the dishes in the
sink. When they were done, he settled in-
to the rocking chair with the latest Tom
Clancy thriller. His hobbies were books
and tropical fish, both of which kept him
close to the condo. After spending the
first couple of years of their marriage
wondering just what Karen's hobbies
were, he'd decided her main one was tak-
ing lessons. Nothing that had happened
since had made him want to change his
mind,

Horseback riding, French cuisine,
spreadsheets— what it was didnt matter,
Mike thought in the couple of minutes
before the novel engrossed him. If
UCLA Extension or a local junior college
or anybody else offered a course that
piqued her interest, Karen would sign up
for it. Once in a while, shed sign him up,
too. Hed learned to waltz that way. He
didn't suppose it had done him any last-
ing harm

Tonights (continued on page 149)

PAINTING BY DENNIS МИКА!

ЕЛЕЕ

UNS AINE
Sikes

five fantastic playmates in a lazy, hazy, crazy daze of summer

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ARNY FREYTAG

ору HEAT. You know it when you see it: the kind of temperature that brings a sheen of sweat to the curves we admire most.
Sweat is the body's way of taking a shower from the inside out. It moves down your skin like a lover's lips. Sweat is the taste of
salt on the rim of a glass filled with south-of-the-border-fever dreams. Summer, of course, is that time when all women
look like Playmates and all Playmates look like goddesses. We love the beach, where we watch lithe turn to languorous. We love the
wisp of cloth, the way the need for ventilation produces designs that cause the very breath to catch in our throats. The images of

midwinter fantasies take shape and move through waves of heat. We invited Playmates Lynne Austin (opposite), Anna Clark

(above left and right), Brandi Brandt (above center), Sharry Konopski and Pamela Stein (overleaf) to participate in a sunshine-

expression session. Forget those wintertime swimsuit issues. Forget swimwear catalogs. Welcome to the tan for alll seasons.

119

Lynne turns her back, Pam strolls, Brandi looks at the world through designer sun-
glasses, Lynne stretches, Brandi refreshes. Summer. So much time, so little to do.

Sharry takes a break, Pam finds an oasis. Summer is a study in extremes of sensation.
Sand and water, thirst and relief, tension and easy living, the tanned and the untanned.

Summer is fun afloat with Anna, flag waving with Sharry. It's fireworks and the Fourth of July. Is that the rocket's

red glare, or are you Just glad to see me? It's a time for celebration, for the leisurely pursuit of happiness.

PLAYBOY

128

ASPEN WHEN IT WAS COOL | continued rom меп»

“Twenty of us with automatic weapons, pistols and
shotguns went to war against an entire hillside.”

sick and too weird for anything else.” And
there was no work. Not for a long time
The drugs had something to do with it
Drugs had something to do with every-
thing in Aspen. 1 mean, I know that he
in the late Eighties, drugs are “a plague
upon the land,” and that you have to be
y careful to identify the illegal stuff as
the road to hell. But it just isn't possible to
talk about Aspen as it was back then with-
out talking about every drug in the entire

underground pharmacy. There was a d
ferent attitude toward controlled sub-
stances in Aspen in those days. Something

like the attitude of fish toward the sea, In
fact, that first night, 1 saw more drugs on
one table than I had ever seen in my life,
Everybody who came by seemed to be
holding a different root, powder, pollen,
spore, leaf or chemical. It was like a
potluck dinner, except that there wasnt
any food, unless you counted the limes
that came with the tequila

1 used my share: up. down and go see
Alice. Nowadays, just remembering the poi-
sons that my friends and | used to
mix makes me ind sweat, and all I
у is that we were young and stupid,

and whatever the risks, whatever the mort-
gage we were taking on body and soul, the
laughter alone scemed worth it. Some pco-
ple are just like that.

We didn't use the whole buffet that first
ht. When the maid waked me the next
afternoon, there were still scraps of this
and that scattered around the room. 1 had
a reflexive jolt of paranoia when I saw her,
but I needn't have worried. I was in Asper
She just smiled and started her work. It
turned out that she had just graduated
from the University of Texa: s, she
said. Then she allowed as how if I intended
10 tip her, she'd just as soon have it in Mr
Natural, a brand of LSD, the remains of
which lay on my night table. Mr. Natural
took its name from the R. Crumb charac-
ter who was stamped all over the perforat-
ed blotter paper. 1 gave her four full men,
16 hits, for her trouble. She thanked me
heavily and said she was going to save it for
the next full moon, when she and her
boyfriend planned to make the hike up to
Conundrum Hot Springs and get neck
deep in the

Aspen was full of outdoor dop
strong, be;

no contradiction in trading whatever was
wholesome about a sunny summer day
the mountains for the edge that comes on-
to things when you have a head full of
mushrooms or weed. | knew a guy who
used to like to dose himself on acid before
he flew his hang glider off Ajax. And rock-
climbers who used to relax themselves the
same way belore night climbs somewhere
up Independence Pass.

makes me feel saner th
round people like th

nocent of the spit

wasnt exactly that al-
ways looks to gild the perfect lily with the

perfect high. I remember a day along Lit-

tle Woody Creek with my girlfriend, We
lay naked in the sun for hours on a big flat
rock next to the stream, while little birds
chattered at us from the dogwood. We had
wine and cheese, and we'd make love and
then roll into the icy stream, climb out,
grease each other down, fall asleep watch-
ng jet contrails against the blue, then
ake up and start all over ag; There
was a pure, natural perfection to that day
that only fools would have tampered with.
1 mean, we probably didn't need the n
line and the marijuana, or the w
that matter, to get where we got that lovely
afternoon. But we took it anyway. Some
people.

All of us knew there'd be a price to pax.
of course, and by now, all of us have paid it
in hard coin of one kind or another. Some
are dead, some went to jail, some jomed
the Church and some are scattered around
the country, going to three and four A.A.
meetings a week. probably telling stor
about how bad they were in Aspen all
those summers ago.

1 left in the fall of 1976 under the pre-
monition that if I stayed much longer. they
were going to have to ship me down the
hill in a bag. It wasn't that the fun was over
But it was beginning to take its toll, and ГА
known since the day 1 got there that Aspen
was the kind of fair that they warn you not
to мау at too long.

I spent my last Fourth of July in Aspen
at a party up on Thompson's place in
Woody Creek, and that pa
pendence Day turned out to be not so
much a commemoration of the Revolution
as a re-enactment of wenty or 30 of us
with automati s, pistols and shot-

guns went to war ist bottles, cans, a
television set, chairs, an entire hill 1
don't remember any sparklers, but some-

body did set off a stick of dynamite some-
me after dark. The flash was beautiful.
the peacocks flew, boom echoed
back and forth between the mesas. 1 know:
It was crazy. Drugs, alcohol, fire
the company of lunatics. Pure insanity. But
obody was hurt or killed that day. Every-
body survived. In a way.

[y]

ms and

«J

order for the imported Cuff Watch by

1 Durante. I need send no money now. Please

in advance of shipment. a

four equal monthly installments of

shipment.

SIGNATURE

ORDER FORM

ME/MRS/MISS

ADDRESS

CITY

“He knew I wanted
a watch that was
different from

all the rest.

Something with sensa-
tional style. Now, in the of-
fice...on the town...people
stop me and ask Where did
you get that? I smile and
say it was a gift.

“It’s an original by Amer-
аз prendo der
signer, Alfred Durante.
He's designed fabulous jew-
elry for really exceptional
women. Like Linda Evans,
Liz Taylor...and me.

“My friends will never find
it in any stuffy old store
because he got it from
The Franklin Mint. Pure
sculpture electroplated
with silver and twenty-two
karat gold. So rich. It’s
hard to believe it was just
$195.

“I love it. He knew I
would.”

Oves mu

Please mail by August 31, 1988,

row Aa NOI

FASTFORWARD

iggy Marley’s first visit to Africa was the type the im-
pressionable preteen would never forget. He was there
with his family the day Rhodesia became the independ-
ent state of Zimbabwe; and as he stood in the stands,
watching the British flag being lowered and the new
standard being raised, there came the announce-
ment: “Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Marley and the
Wailers!” Any doubts the young Marley had about the unique role
his father played—both in Third World politics and as the pre-
eminent reggae artist of all time—were quickly put to rest. But
that changed in 1981, when Bob Marley died of cancer. “Since
Daddy died, reggae has stopped growing,” says Ziggy now 19. “1
want to make it grow again.” And hes doing it in a family
way—his band, Ziggy Marley and the Melody Makers, consists
of siblings Stephen, 15, Sharon, 24, and Cedella, 20. Con-
scious Party, its latest album, features mostly songs written by
Ziggy and has become one of the year’s most-talked-about
LPs. He seems to have inherited his father’s social con-
science but insists, "I'm not trying to say politics, I'm just trying to
say truth.” Music, he thinks, should have a purpose, “not just to bullshit people.
We are working for a better Jamaica, a better Africa, a better world.” His dream gig,
he says, is to play South Africa the week after apartheid ends. —MiCHAEL TENNESEN

ё
Š
È
E

r THE QUEEN OF THE WILD WEST ~-

In 1974, Marlene Eddleman had to choose which when she was 13. In 1983, she was the sport's pro
side of the rodeo reviewing stands she liked better. world champion. Eddleman saw her Colorado ranch
She was the Colorado all-round high school rodeo just ten days that year, because she raced in 120
champion, state high school rodeo queen and first rodeos, so she decided to cut back—sort of. Last

year, between product endorsements and marketing
a line of saddles and rodeo-training videos, she
rode in about 75 and still managed to take
away a second-place world rating. She also
competes at all-girl rodeos in such butch
events as goal tying and calf roping (in
1976, she won an intercollegiate champi-
now 31, learned to ride when she onship in the latter), but she’d rather not.
was three and first competed in : "Not that the danger scares
barrel racing (picture a а me,” she drawls. "Ws not a very
horseback-slalom event) feminine sport.” —MICHAEL KIEFER

runner-up for national high school rodeo queen.
“They started grooming me for Miss Rodeo Ў
Colorado,” Eddleman recalls, “but | didn't
like the politics. | would rather win the
rodeo. When I win, | want it to be rec-
ognized as fair and squore—and
that clock doesn't lie.” Eddleman,

MARK HANAUER

LOW ART?

New York photographer Cindy Sherman was perfectly
content to receive negative notices on her latest series
of photographs—truly repulsive yet intriguing images of
vomit on a picnic spread, a corpse half buried in the
sand and a large mooning ass covered with festering
boils. “It just seemed creepy that no matter what I did be-
fore, I would get good publicity. | didn't trust it)” Sherman
explains. “I think sometimes people collect art because
they're told to. | wanted to challenge collectors and mu-
seums; they really have to think seriously before they
put a pimply ass on their walls.” Sherman, 34, has her
work in dozens of museums world-wide, including the
Museum of Modern Art and the Metropolitan in New York
and the Pompidou in Paris. “I don't see these photo-
graphs as gory or scary or disgusting as much as funny,"
she says. “I guess it's just strange that they could be
art" Sherman's huge Tribeca studio, where she also
sleeps, looks like the prop closet of a B-grade horror
flick—it's filled with plastic body parts, wigs, busts and
containers of Slime (a toy gel that resembles mucous). x
Now that she has reached a unique zenith of gauche, ¿|
Sherman is unsure of what to do next. “I've sort of cor
nered myself now,” she says. “People think I'm going to =
wallow forever in the lower depths of taste.’ —amy ENcELER €

MR. NORMAL

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld has a lot on his
mind—none of it very important. “The things
that interest me are usually these minute,
overlooked little
things. Like kicking
your underwear up
in the air and trying
to catch it when you
get undressed at
night. 1 feel that
God looks down at
man at times like
that and says, ʻI
should've given the
baboons a shot.
Seinfeld, 34, is ob-
sessed with making
people laugh. He
spouts his good-
natured sarcasm
around the country
and on talk shows, traveling at least 200 days
a year and never taking more than two nights.
off consecutively. While comedy insiders are
among his biggest fans, his over-all fame has
been slower to grow. “I don't have any strange
clothes or props, and | don't do any scream-
ing,” he says. Still, Seinfeld's droll comments
have made him a headliner, but the prospect of
Switching to TV or film doesnt thrill him.
“Stand-up is what | want to do,” he says.
"What's the big deal in having someone tell
you where to stand, when to move, what to say?
Is that like a step up?" ERIC ESTRIN

GEORGE LANGE

zm.

| Last February 21 in San Diego
) golier Steve Pate, 26. stood
? over a sixfoot putt worth
917000 "Guys like me are
supposed to make good
shots—thats why we have
our names on our bags.” he
Wa said after knocking it in. “It
you think about the mon-
3 D ey youre in trouble: so I
just blocked everything
out and hit the ball In his
first six months of hitting the ball with
Nicklaus, Norman and the rest back in
1985, his biggest payday was $900. But
as he drove north trom San Diego to his
home in Simi Valley. California, he stood
second on the 1988 money list. with
5229888 in winnings, “The worst thing
about playing the tour is the traveling.
Pate says. He consoles himselt with tre:
quent-flier miles. six-figure winners
checks and the thought that * play-
ing a game lor a living is
pretty hard to beat
KEVIN

PLAYBOY

132

HARRY EDWARDS continued frm page 111)

“When you turn on the N.C.A.A. championship
games, it’s going lo look like Ghana playing Nigeria.”

sports career even have to attend
Where's the connection?
epwarps: Ultimately, we'll have to deal with
that question. In the meantime, we're stuck
with the system we have: If you want to be
a pro, you have to go to college. My argu-
ment is that under those circumstance
there has to be some commitment to aca-
demics. Otherwise, irs utter exploitation of
the athlete by the institution and utter self-
delusion on the athletes part Only two
percent of athletes on scholarships ever
make a pro sports roster, and 60 percent of
those ave back on the street wit four
years. Most pro players would be better off
if they gota job they could do for the next
45 years. Then they're noton welfare or in
ja ad they're not ош on the street
knocking you and me on the head for what
we have.

-ollege?

pLavnoy: As long as college sports do func-
tion as de facto minor leagues, generating
big revenues for the schools, why not just
pay college athletes?

enwarns: The first thing you'd do is elimi-
nate probably 80 percent of the institu-
tions involved in college sports. You'd no
longer be talking about collegiate athleti
teams but about colleges warehousi
semiprofessional teams, Most
wont go for that. Ai least unde:

hey can claim a legitimate
ip. however remot

present syster
kind of relation
the athletes, as 17-to-19-year-old freshmen,
would be besieged by people who flocked
around because there was money involved.
and not just the money the athlete is mak-
ing this year but the money he’s likely to
make down the road. Not to mention drugs
and all the resi. Burying the stench under
money does whatsoev

10.

rravsov: You make college and sports

sound like a bad marriage that survives
only because divorce is impractical,
epwaros: We not only have a bad marriage.
we have an internal feud that is threaten-
ing to blow up into a racial conflagration,
because the revenue-producing sports are
increasingly dependent upon black ath
letes, particularly at institutions that do
not hire black coaches and black athletic
directors. Black athletes are going 10 over-
whelmingly dominate collegiate revenue-
producing sports. Basketball will be all
black. football will be 80 percent black.
When you turn on the bowl games and
CALA. championship games. it's going
to look like Ghana playing N

paysov: Could you see, ten years from
now, a nationwide walkout of black colle-

“You don't love me anymore, do you?"

giate athletes?
epwarps: Oh, there's a possibility of that
coming down before then. Right now, Im
dealing with a frustrated, angry group of
157 black assistant coaches. who ar
about the same situation as blac
leaguers who've had the door slammed in
their faces for the past 40 years. They were
brought on board essentially to recruit ath-
letes out of the ghettos for traditionally
white Division One institutions. They have
no access to head-coaching jobs, to athlet-
ie-director jobs, to public-information:
rector jobs. They ve made it very clear that
if there is no movement in terms of open-
ing doors for blacks in college athletics at
traditionally white institutions, they are
going to mobilize a walkout of black assist-
ant coaches during bowl games and
N.C.A.A. championship basketball games,
and of the athletes they've recruited. They
are saying that unless this changes. then
this year we are going to call for massi

boycotts of bowl games and N.C.A.A.
championship games. If the schools think
they can win basketball games or go to the
Rose Bowl and share in that $11,000,000
without black athletes, wonderful—we'll
give them a chance to prove

12.

ry, much atter

т.лузоу: L ion was
given to W
back Doug Williams—the fir
guide a team to a victory in
Bowl. Was his race a real issue or ju
dia hype?
EDWARD

'ashington Redskins quarter

black to
the Super
1 me-

It was a genuine issue. Why did it

Were going into another season with the
longest-standiug record in N.EL. history
intact—not ck head coach.
Where the media did go wrong w
hounding Williams and John Elway on the
the game such a black-

Both men des
media have problems them-
football,

ict

s in

13.

pravnoy: You've admitted that sport is re-
garded as “the toy department of human
yet you've devoted your life to the
How do you reconcile that?
epwarns: One reason people questioned
ademic integrity was that | was writ-
seriously about what they considered
be fun and games played for money
The fact is that sport involves the mc
rious, deeply rooted values and ideals of
society. To the extent that we ignore what is
happening in sport, we lose an advantage
in understanding these values. Sport is as
serious as any institution we have, and as
the only mainstream institution whe
blacks participate in disproportionately
even il itis in a plantation
s the laborers—it has to be a cen-

affairs.

context
tral conc

14.

PLAYBOY: Do you view sports as a corrupt-
ing influence?

Epwarns: Sports reaffirm the values that
govern social behavior.

Kids who a
ud-
g up with $12.000 to matricu-

late at State U, “paying their own way" OF
course, the boosters are just ig them
the money. If fans then see college pr
dents winking at the cheating and lying
that take place, they feel no conscience in
terms of their business and social relation-
ships. Then sports people see Ivan Boesl
the Bakkers, Watergate and Irangate and
it becomes self-perpetuating, with the ba-
sic thing being to succeed, to be number
one, irrespective of
methods. When that
is broadcast for the
whole nation to em-
ulate, the role of
sport becomes ma-
lignant, because no
society has ever ac-
complished any-
thing of worth
through the system-
atic violation of
agreed-upon rules
You simply can't say,
These are the

rules, but its all
ng

right to do апу
you

сап get ак:

15.

Зап this be
the same Harry Ed-
wards who recently
he was opti-
bout. sports
ind America?
маво: I am, be-
cause we are having
n open dialog
bout the situation.
ve been to the Peo-
ples Republic of
China, to the Soviet
Union, to Japan and
urope, places
where a debate this
honest about these kinds of issues would
never take place. Also, I'm convinced,
given the past record, that Americans will
solve the
on. We have moved effectively as a
ion to deal with segregation; that's why
I'm sitting here.

move in the proper direction to
situ

16.

т.лувоу: Has there been one notable rad
calizing event in your life?

kpwaRps: No. There has been a series of de-
velopments, going ba ery, that
made it clear that there was no way I would
be able to account lor my life to my chil-
dren unless I became involved in th;
struggle. lo this day, | do not understand

black people who are not involved, and in a
very fundamental way | probably dont
like them.

17.

PLAYTOY: You've talked of “a bankruptcy of
black leadership" and differed with Amer-
ica's black leaders on a lot of issues. What's

EDwaRDs: I think that this country's black
leadership operates on an agenda that was
ed decades ago. The whole notion
integration as the ultimate goal of black
political struggle is a joke, a farce. No peo-
ple have ever advanced significantly in
America without their institutions intact.
That means a black society developing its
own culture and participating as a full and

Windsor Wins.

equal partner in America, in becom-
ing some component of white society, We
re that the overwhelm-
ajority of blacks are going to be in
black communities. We must forget about
busing and develop black schools that meet
our childrens needs. 1 don't believe in
black support of black businesses, 1 believe
in black economic development 10 get
some of everybody business. That's the on-
ly way the black community will develop.

18.
ravno: Did you join the black commun
in support of Jesse Jacksons Pr
campaign?
gowaxos: Everybody wants to know my

perspective on Jesse Jackson, but nobody
asks me about Gore or Dukakis or any of
the other interchangeable faces. If you're
black and not supporting Jesse, that’s
news! It’s also racist. Hell, I dont support
any of them. Were in sad straits when
these are the candidates we come up with
for the Presideney. What really gets me is
the lack of n about where this country
should be headed and what we should be
as a people, and I have to believe I'm not
alone. Asin 1980 and 1984, I'm in the posi-
tion of going into the damn voting booth
holding my nose and trying to think of
somebody I can write in. The only Presi-
dent in recent memory who's even kept his
pre-election promises has been Reagan.
He promised us less government, and we
wound up with no
government at all.

19.

pravnoy: So where
do you stand on
Jesse Jackson?
gowaros: ] am not
for running black
candidates. I am for
running candidates
who have an appeal
10 everybody and
who happen to be
black, I am not a
Jesse Jackson fan.
There is a lot of lip
service given to the
Rainbow Coalition,
but its made up of
black people. And
Jesse's drug policy:
When he says “Up
with hope, down
with dope,” he has
Mih Street in Oak-
land confused with
Sesame Street. I
think that it comes
down to not run-
ning as a black but
ng as an indi-
who his
controlling influ-
ence over politic;
educational, eco-
nomic and religious.
institutions to such an extent that others
want to hook their wagon to the horse. Jesse
has done more than anyone since F
D. Roosevelt to get the oppressed,
garded and dispossessed into mainstream
politics; but if you're going to be in politics,
you've got to be political, and that means ex-
ercising power. You can hear the Republicans
lip-smacking and chop-licking right now.

20.

PLAYBOY: If Jackson doesn't make the Dem-
ocratic ticket, can he fill a role as the
mouthpiece of the oppressed?

EpwaRDS: IF I want to hear a sermon, hell, 1
go to church.

133

PLAYBOY

R A M BO (continued from page 89)

“With America splitting apart because of Vietnam, it
was time to shove the war right under our nose."

scrambled to assist the wounded. An
ollicer barked coordinates into a two-way
radio, demanding air support. The fa-
tigue, determination and fear on the faces
of the soldiers were dismayingly vivid.
The second story showed a different sort
of battle. That steamy summer, the inner
cities of America had erupted into vio-
lence. In nightmarish images, National
Guardsmen snapped bayonets onto М-165
talked the rubble of burning streets,
dodging rocks, wary of snipers among
devastated vehicles and gutted buildings.
Each news story, distressing enough on
its own, became doubly so when paired
with the other. It occurred to me that if I'd
turned down the sound, if 1 hadn't heard
cach storys reporter explain what 1 was
watching, | might have thought that both
film clips were two aspects of a single he
ror. A fire fight outside Saigon, a riot with-
in it. A riot within an American city, a fire
fight outside it
What if 1 wrote a book in wl
nam war literally came home to Ami
There hadn't been a war on Ar
since 1865, With America splitting apart
because of Vietnam, maybe it was time to
write a novel that dramatized the philo-
sophical division in our society, that shoved
the brutality of war right under our nose.
1 decided my catalytic character would
be a Vietnam veteran, a Green Beret who,
after many harrowing missions, had been
captured by the enemy, had escaped and
returned home to be given Ameri
highest distinction, the Congressional
Medal of Honor. But he would bring some-

and America.
ich the Viet-

thing back with him from Southeast Asia,
what we now call posttrauma stress syn-
drome. (It's an overused term these days,
but it wasn't in 1969.) Haunted by night-
mares about what he had done in the war,
tered by civilian indifference and
hostility toward the sacrifice he had made
for his cou he would drop out of хо‹
ety to wander the back roads of the nation
he loved. He would sleep in the woods and
live off the land. He would let his hair grow
Jong, not bother to shave, carry all his pos-
sessions in a rolled-up sleeping bag slung
over his shoulder and look like what we
then called a hippie. In what 1 loosely

y (don't forget, 1

His name would bc. ... Lam asked about
his name more than anything else. One of
my graduate school langua ench,
and on an autumn afternoon,
course assignment, [ was struck by the dil-
ference between the look and the pronun-
ciation of the name of the author I was
reading, Rimbaud. An hour later, my
came home from buying groceries. She
mentioned she'd bought some apples of а
type she'd never heard about before, Ram-
bo. A French author's name and the name
of an apple collided, and 1 recognized the
sound of force.
“His name w
some nothing kid, for all
standing by the pump of a gas stai
the outskirts of Madison, Kentuck:
While Rambo would represent the di
fected, 1 needed someone to embody the

s Rambo, and he was just
nybody knew,
non

establishment. Another news report, this
n print, aroused my indignation. In a
Southwestern American town, a group of
hitchhiking hippies had been picked up by
the local police, stripped, hosed and
shaved—not just the
hair. They had then been given back thei
clothes and driven to a desert road, where
they were abandoned to walk to the next
town, 30 miles away I remembered the
harassment that my own recently grown
che and long hair had caused me.
Why don't you get а haircut? What the
hell are you, a man or a woman?” 1 won-
dered what Rambo's reaction would be if
he were subjected to the insults those hip-
pies had received

In my novel, the establishme
sentative became a police chief. Wilfred
Teasle. Wary of stereotypes, 1 wanted him
as complex as the action would allow 1
made Teasle old enough to be Rambo‘ fa-
ther. That created a generation gap—with
the added dimension that Teasle wishes he
had ason. Next, I decided that he would be
a Korean War hero, his Distinguished
Service Cross second only to Rambo's Con-
gressional Medal of Honor

What happens when Rambo encounters
Teasle is fami ugh to say
that Teasle, for his reasons, hassles Rambo,
and Rambo, for his reasons, wor
A jail escape leads to a m
thinks he is in Korea. Rambo thinks he is
in Vietnam. In that conflict, the conven-
tional tactics used in Korea dont have a
chance against the guerrilla methods of
Vietnam. Almost killed, Teasle struggles
down from the mountains, accepts the
help of Rambos Specia
and hunts Rambo yet again, with the result
that Teasles town is virtually destroyed,
Teasle is killed and Rambo is executed by
is former instructor, who takes the top of
s head off with a shotgu
Yes, Rambo is killed. And the cop isn’t
the broadly sketched antagonist of the film
but a character who m ders (d
pending on their political viewpoint) be
lieved was the hero of the novel And
Rambo's instructor isnt the sympathetic
Richard Crenna but a cold professional
And the novel tries to show that escala
force results in disaster, thar nobody wi

s repre-

Forces instructor

Because of the rigors of graduate
school, 1 didn't finish my novel till after Pd
graduated in 1970 and taught at the
ity of Iowa for a year. In the summer of
ted it toa literary agent, but 1
ngs. How could an assistant
sor expect to gain tenure when he'd
dramatized such unremitting violence? lo
hedge my bets, I sent along mv dissertation
on John Barth.

Three weel
sold it”

“My dissertation?”

“First Blood.”

“Oh, Christ.”

Time not only gave the book its lead re-
view but claimed that it represented a new

s later, the agent called. 71

kind of fiction, “carnog! violences
equivalent of pornography. I didn't mind
For a terrified first novelist, any kind of at-
tention feels great. Most other reviews
were glowing, and the paperback advance
didn't hurt—my family could st
frozen potpies. When the Lite
accepted the book, 1 felt legitimate. The
translations made me
And then came

round-the-world

raise my head in wonder
the movie deal.
Ah, yes, the movie deal.

For ten years after its publication, the
story passed through three movie compa-
n

s. 18 screenplays and such directors
s Stanley Kramer Richard Brooks,
Martin Ritt, Sydney Pollack and John
Frankenheimer.
al Newman, Al
ino, eve Mc-
Queen, Clint East-
wood, Robert De
Niro, Nick Nolte,

Brad Davis, Powcrs
Boothe and Michael
Douglas were all
considered to play
Rambo. The novel
became a Holly-
wood legend. How
could so much mon-
ey and so much tal-
u be spent on

| enterprise that
somehow — couldn't
get off the page?

Part of the rea
was the
Seventies. A
nvolvement in Vict-
am had ended bad-
ly, and feelings
about the war were
bitter. The few films
that referred to
Vietn reflected
that Сот.
ing Home is а good
example

But another r
son First Blood
wasnt filmed for so |
long had to do with |
actors and scripts. MR
In the middle Seventies, 1 met Sydney Pol-
lack, a brilliant director, who mentioned
his involvement with Steve McQueen on
the project

“McQueen? He's one of my favorite ac-

. that’s the problem,” Pollack said.
“Steve liked the motorcycle chase-
wants to play the kid.”
“Rambo? But McQue
Looks too old for the part. We had to
Just the story. It didnt work.’
That typified the proble
match actor and role.

Years passed. I wrote other novels,
banked my movie-sale money (not an op-
tion but an outright purchase) and de-

n—how to

d that First Blood would ever be
A new decade arrived. Now Rea-
in the White House. America wa
feeling optimistic again. The defeat i
Vietnam seemed long behind us

At that point, two film distributors
cessful in the Orient, Andrew Vajna and
Mario Kassar, decided to become produc-
ers. Seeking a project they happened
upon the legendary First Blood. The script
they read was by William Sackheim and
Michael Kozoll (the latter a cocreator of
Hill Street Blues). With modification, the
story would play well in America, Vajna
and Kassar thought, but more important,
their experience in foreign film markets
told them tha it emphasized
would кї large audiences

filmed.

nee

the movie
action,

Canadian mist.

Windsor reigns.

Let it pour. Then taste and compare for smoothness. We bet voull say:

| | Windsor Wins. | 1
though E would nev-

| Winde Cane 4 sly vete ped ерте and oce ei Deseo DELL С

around the world.

Provided they found the right actor
These days, audiences forget that in 1981,
Sylvester Stallone’s only film success—at
least financially—had been as Rocky. So
when Vajna and Kassar offered Stallone
the role, industry observers were skeptical
For that matter, so was Stallone. AL the
o, he was quoted as saying that he
red First Blood would be the most ex-
pensive home movie ever made

On the contrary, it grossed $120,000,000
and became a cult cla

sic

1 know its fashionable for authors to
complain that their work has been bas-
tardized by Hollywood. The fact is. 1 like

the mo
made from my novel.
ed from Kentucky to the Pacific Northwest
(to avoid harsh winter weather: ironically,
the production was shut down by a bliz-
Green Beret instructo
итап, was upgraded from
jor to colonel. Rambo acquired the first
name John ("When Johnny comes march-
ing home”). Also, he was made less angry,
less violent (he’s far more savage in my nov-
el). On the screen, he kills one man by
accident (a rock thrown at a pursuing heli
copter causes a vicious deputy to lose his
ba nd fall to his death iı
Later, Rambo bumps a stolen truc

pursuing car filled with gun-bl
deputies. ‘They veer off the road and fail to
avoid a car parked
long the road.
hat'sthe total body
count in the film
(the police chicf—
now, Um afraid, a
stercotypical red-
neck—though badly
wounded, lives). But
in my novel, the cas-
ualtics are virtually
ncountable. My

. even though changes were
е locale was shift-

tent was 10 trans-
pose the Victnam
war 10 Amer

whereas the film's in-
tent was to make the
audience cheer for
the underdog.

The most impor
tant change between
my novel and the
film almost didnt
occur. In a vault in
LA, theres a film
clipin which Rambo
shoots himself. But
second thoughts
prevailed. Another
ending was filmed,
and Rambo lived.

dont obje

er change the end-
ing of my novel, in
which Trautman is
Rambo's execu
tioner. The reason I don't object is tha
Rambo in the novel causes so much de-
struction that the authorities would hunt
him down, even if they had to use a N

makes Rambo so reluctant to use force,
sympathetic а victim, that
seems justified

1 blessed the attorney who, in 1972. ha
charged me $500 (at that time, a fortune
for me) to revise the fine print in the movie

Г cringed, convinced Га
hard-to-come-by $500. “But

sequels:
wasted my

135

PLAYBOY

136

almost every major character's dead at the
end of the novel. How the hell can there be
sequels?”

“David, you don't know what Hollywood
can do with a novel. It may end upasa mu-
sical. By the way, I've also asked for profit
participation on any merchandise associat-
ed with the film.”

“Merchandise?”

“Dolls. Lunch boxes. Television car-
toons. Who knows? Anything's possible.
at's why you hired me. To predict the
future.

“Dolls? Impossible!”

How wrong I was.

While Rambo: First Blood Part IT was be-
ing filmed, Andrew Vajna asked if I'd be
interested in writing a novel based on the
script by Stallone and James Cameron. My
impulse was to tell him no. Novelizations
are derivative, an inferior literary form,
and I'm serious about my fiction, even if I
aim toward the broadest audience possible.

“You don't understand,” Vajna replied.
"This is a $27,000,000 picture. Itll be an
enormous hit. You want to be associated
with it.

“No. I won't be an automatic typist and
simply add description to someone else's
pl

“You're not listening, David. This is a
$27,000,000 picture:

More phone calls, morning and afıcı-

noon, for a week, Each time, | said no. Fi-
nally, my doorbell rang at eight лм. and a
messenger handed me a package. I peered
side to discover a video tape. Groggy sull
my pajamas, clutching a cup of coffee, I
stumbled toward my VCR, inserted the
tape and slumped on my sofa. Suddenly,
music blared as Rambo piloted a heli-
copter, attacking an enemy compound. I
spilled my coflee. "Donna, get over here!"
I yelled to my wife. “You have to see this!
Is a $27000,000 movie!

So I agreed to write a novel for Rambo:
First Blood Part II. In the first place, no one
else could do it. I hold the literary copy-
right. Thats something else my wonderful
$500 attorney put into the movie contract
The producers can do anything they want
with Rambo on film, but I'm the only writ-
er allowed to publish fiction about him

In the second place, I began to see the
chance to accomplish something distinc-
tive, Novels based on films are usually tran-
scribed screenplays, But the bargain I had
made with Vajna was to follow the bones of
the movie's story but to invent, color and
terpret as I wished, to write a novel based
оп a plot that happened to be supplied to
me. I also saw the way to counteract the
backlash I sensed some critics were ready
to slam toward Rambo.

The truth is, Rambo hates war. He
loathes what he is and what he has been
trained to do. He reacts with justified

1000
ТШ

ылд

only when pushed to the wall. On the set of
Rambo IH, Stallone and 1 talked at length
about that issue. Angers a last-resort emo-
tion, we agreed. People shove you around,
and most of the time, you acquiesce, Why
retaliate unless it’s a critical issue? If your
family's threatened, you have to respond.
Or your life. Or your country. But it has to
be a genuine threat. Otherwise, it's better
to back away. Because if it’s necessary to re-
taliate, you have to go all the way, and vou
have to accept the consequences.

That's the secret to Rambo. Fate pits him
against relentless bullies and, like the gun-
slinger determined to retire, he reluctant-
ly straps his guns back onto his wai:

When Vajna and Kassar hired me to
write the initial script for Rambo HI, 1
thought that Rambo's fundamental anti
war stance could be sidetracked only if
‘Trautman, Rambo’ surrogate father, were
in serious trouble. My version had Traut-
man asa military advisor in Central Amer
‚ where his wife and daughter paid him
a visit, only to be abducted by marauders
from a neighboring enemy country Ram-
bo's love for Trautman and his family com-
pelled him to become a warrior again

Eventually, the storys setting was
changed from Central America to
Afghanistan (to get away from the con-
fining forest and jungle of the first two pic-

tures, to give Rambo Ш a different look,
the stunning scope of a desert)

Stallone and Sheldon Lettich prepared a
t, necessarily changing

in Afgh

brand-new sci
the st

ry to fit the w

for peace
Eliminating Trautman’ wife and daugh-
ter, Stallone decided to put Trautman him-
self in jeopardy, captured by the Soviets on
the Afgh: Pakistan border

I wrote an amplified novel based on the
script and in it emphasized Rambos com-
plex emotions. At the same time, I added
new elements to his character. Now we
learn that in his youth, he was battered by
his father. To escape his troubled home, he
joined the military (another paradox:
Seeking peace, he entered a violent profes-
sion). He feels aflection for Trautman. be-
cause Trautman's the only authority figure
who ever showed him respect.

In Rambo: First Blood Part 11. Stallone
had a character describe Rambo а
a hell of a combina-
1 liked the idea of Rambos mixed
vund but modified it. In my sequel
father becomes Italian,

Баск
novels, Rambo's
his mother Navaho.

Why th
ter. In

change? To deepen the charac-

ning guilt from the firs and
п from the second. While in
, he becomes attracted to Zen
sm, In Rambo HT, he enters Alghan-
istan, a Moslem country There, he finds el-
ements of the Islamic faith that help him
come to terms with his troubled soul. A

character with four religions. Hardly the
ап some critics berate.

you get the full story. Sometimes, to make
my points, I add and subtract scenes from
the films. Indeed, in Rambo IIL, the proc-
ess was reversed. Stallone liked some ele-
ments 1 added to my novel of
screenplay and put them into the film.
А

Lets talk about Stallone. Several months
ago, 1 went to a cocktail party in L.A. Most
of the guests were from the movie indus-
пу. An assistant director discovered Id
created Rambo, approached me and inex-
plicably began insulting Sly.

his

“Stop. Have you ever met the man?
asked.
“No,

but

from

“my 15-year-old son
st died of cancer. |
tried to do every-
thing to give Matt
hope, to provide his
final days with qual-
ity. Toward the end,
wanting something
unique for my son, I
asked Sly to call
him. He didn't have
10 do it, but he re-
sponded and talked
with Matt for almost
40 minutes. Before
son died, his
conversation with
Sly was one of his
fondest memories,
As far as Im con-
cerned, Stallone's a
compassionate, de-
cent man, and |
wont let you dump
on him.”

So you know my
bias. I'm шеа of |
critics’ giving Stal-
lone bad press. His
has been
widely publicized,
mostly with negative
connotations. Hey,
would you turn
down a ton of cash if someone offered it?
Sure as hell, I wouldn't. And then there's
Sly's personal life. 10У none of anyones
business. How's your life doing these
Would you like your privacy violated? Of
course not. Gossip columnists have pried
and twisted and distorted beyond the
point of tastelessness. In my experience, he
has been modest, generous, humorous, in-
telligent and extremely verbal, a great guy
to talk with, mbo doesn't speak much,
but that's a character. As Sly says, “What
people don't understand is, 1 have to com-
municate Rambo's silent intensity, every-
thing hes thinking, the anguish hes
feeling, just with my eyes. Critics should.
try it. Io communicate. without words is

income

challenging. frustrating, terribly difficult."

Then t the Rambo backlash. Poli-
tics. In October 1987, Ni is presi-
dent Daniel Ortega made a speech at the
UN. “Let President Reagan recall,” Ortega
said, “ihat Rambo exists only in the
movies. The people of the world do nor
The people want men of
The US. delegation walked out in
and they were right, as far as Im
d, because Ortega was wrong on
several counts. Rambo exists in print as
well as in the movies. And Rambo, like the
people of the world, wants peace

Rambo, as a generic word, has become,
tel a simplistic reduction of
mplex issues “Us RAMBO. JETS воми
LIRA,” the London Times announced when

want Rambos.
peac
protest,

Goa md and compare got. bet youll say:

Wind Cadre ky ach voran ey Der LO |

I was on a book tour in € t Britain in
1086. The word is in everyday use in se
al languages, it’s a favorite of politic
columnists and sports announcers, and it's
always misinterpreted either in militaristic
or in macho terms. On my tombstone, Ive
requested the. following: tirer tiis DAVID
MORRELL WHO INVENTED A WORD THAT FEW UN-
nersToon. The Rambo character is violent,
yes, no question. But only as a last resort.
Let's talk about violence. If your idea of
entertainment is The Sound of Music, the
Rambo mo ıt for you. They're ac-
tion pictures. You could say that you think
their actions excessive. But the Star Wars
movies have far more violence. Of course,
Star Wars happens a long time ago in a

Rambo addresses
y issues. I's t
that most Vietnam vets didn't suffer po
trauma stress syndrome. But then, most of
them didn't belong to the Special Forces
Rangers, Recon or Seals The soldiers in
those cadres learned skills no one should
то prac-
tice. Their missions were nightmares with
long-lasting psychological consequences
I've never vet spoken to a Vietnam veteran
who didnt identify with Rambo's turmoil.

The new movie will, no doubt, cause
more controversy: Rambo against the Sov
ets in Afghanistan. T can imagine the fu
ther accusations of Red bashing, But the
Soviets have forced 6,000,000. Afghans
from their homes. A million others have

ever have to learn, let alone put

operation betwee
the Soviets and the
sounds good,
and I certainly hope
that the recent AE
ghan peace agre
ment is honored, but
the Soviets have
been practicing geno-
cide. Rambo Ш re-
minds us of
fact. IVs аск
venture, but it’s also
passion bout its
message. Popular yet
serious. A paradox.
¢ Rambo—a ma
of peace yet war.
During onc of our
conversations on the
Rambo HI sci in the
Negev desert in Is-
rael, Stallone was
led to return to
the camera. As he
rose from his cha
i children sur-

Isra

rounded him. Doz
ns of extras from
the village scene.

Crowding. hugging.
ng. Sly stooped
and kissed them in
return, He ruffled
their hair. He used
both arms to embrace them. Thinking of

my dead son, I wished 1 had a photograph
of this display of affection
“Rambo!” they shouted. “Rambo!”
Stallone and I later discussed it
“See, it isn't me they're hugging,” he

id. “It's Rambo. The children dont know
about the politics and the controversies.
They see him as a hero. A protector. He
violent, s but reluctantly, and they
know he's on their side. Against the bullies.
In defense of the helpless
“Rambo! Rambo!” the children shouted.
Their voices echoed through the dese
canyon, so simple, so complicated. “Ram-
bo! Rambo!

137

138

'5 EES
DEAD MAN (ative rn fo

“They had recovered Ihe murder prints: a nice shot of
Frazier, embedded deep in the cortical tissue”

pressed his elbows against his sides as one
might do il expecting a second blow. Then
ant young Argentincan uncoiled
himself from a curbside table and trotted
kly toward her, and they laughed and
embraced and ran off arm in arm, sweep-
ght past hin without even a glance.
membered now: Women all over the
world were wearing Mariannes face this
season. This one, in fact, was too tall by
half a head. But he would have to be pre-
pared for such incidents wherever he went.
Mariannes everywhere, bludgeoning
with their beauty and never even knowing
what they had done. He found himself
wishing that the one who had been -
ing with (hat museum man was just anoth-
er Marianne clone, that the real one was at
home now, waiting for him, wondering.
wondering.

Her

.
In Montreal six weeks later, u
гасу filter and one of his corporate cards,

g through a call to hi
apartment and discovered that there
an interdict on his line. When he tried the
office number, an android mask appeared
on the screen, and he was blindly told that
Mr. Fra able. The android
didnt know when Mr. Frazier would be
available. Frazier asked for Markman, his
executive assistant, and a moment later, a
bleak, harried, barely recognizable face
looked out at him. Frazier explained that
he was a representative of the Buch:
account, calling about a highly sen:

he risked putt

“Mr. Fra
looking for him.
Markman’s face d
shame, be

lerment,

"Our PR lobbying consultants in New York say
we'll never be accepted as a democratic government
until you get rid of that hat.”

to Kill the filter, but I imagine vou we
have much trouble figuring out who I am.
gine I won't. Just dont tell me
where you are, OK?

The situation was about a:
They had recovered the
from the dead mans e

spected.
prints
a nice shot, em-
l tissue, Frazi
looming up agains IL, nose 10 nose,
a quick cut 10 the hand reaching for Hur-
witt’s arm, a wild free-form pan to the sky
as Frazier lifted Hurwitt up and over the
parapet. “Pardon me for saying this, but
you looked absolutely deranged,” the
lawyer told him. “The prints were on all
the networks the next day. Your eyes—it
was really scary Im absolutely sure we
could get impairment of faculties, maybe
even crime of passion. Suspended sen-
tence, but, of course, there'd be rehabili
tion. I don't see any way around that, and
it could last a year or two, and vou might
not be as efective in your profession
terward, but considering the circum-
stances—"

"How's my wife?” Frazier said. "Do you
nything about what shes bec

doing
“Well, of course, I don't represent her,
get in the n

^] couldn't say. Look, I can try to find
out, if you'd Tike to call back this time 10-
morrow. Only, 1 suggest that for your c
good, you call me at a different numbe
which is—

“For my good or for yours?” Frazie
“I'm trying to help.” said the
sounding annoyed.

He took refresher courses in French,
Italian and German to give himself a little
extra plausibility in the Andreas Schmidt
identity and cultivated a mild Teutonic ac-
cent. As long as he didn't run up against
al Swiss who wanted to gabble with
Romansh or Schweizerdeutsch, he
suspected he'd make out all right. He kept
n moving—Strasbou Athens, Haifa,
Tunis. Even though he knew that no fur-
ther fund transfers were possible, there
was enough money stashed under the
Schmidt account to keep him going nicely
for ten or 15 years, and by then, he hoped
to have this thing figured out.

He saw Mariannes in Tel Aviv, in Herak-
lion on Crete and in Sidi Bou Said, just
outside Tunis. They were all clones, of

course. He recognized that after just a
quick, queasy instant. Sull, seeing that de
icate high-bridged nose once again, those

splendid amethyst eyes, those tight auburn
ringlets, it was all he could do to keep hi
self from going up to them and throwing
his arms around them, and he had to force
himself each time 10 turn away, biting
down hard on his lip.

In London, outside ught, he
saw the real thi The Connaught was
where they had spent their wedding trip
back in 07, and he winced at the sight of its

liar grand facade, and winced even
more when Marianne came out, young
and radiant, wearing a shimmering silver
cloud. Dazzling light streamed from her
He had no doubt that this was no trendy
clone but the true Marianne: She moved i n
that easy, conliden with ıha
her own beau
geon could ever rt, ev
imitator. The pavement i
seemed to do her homage. But then Fi
zier saw that the man on whose arm she
ked was himself, young and radiant,
too, the Loren Frazier of that honeymoon

to the most
self

an and Frazier reali
that he must merely be hallucinating, that
the breakdown had moved on toa new and
serious stage. He stood gaping while
Mr. and Mrs. Frazier swept through him
like the phantoms they were and away in
the direction of Gr
he staggered arly fell. To the
Connaught doorman, he admitted that he
as unwell, and because he was well
dressed and spoke with a hint of an accent
and was able to find а 20-sovereign piece
in the nick of time, the doorman helped
him into a cab and expressed his deepest
concern. Back at his own hotel, ten min-
utes over on the other side of Mayfair, he
had three quick gins in a row and sat shiv-
ering for an hour before the image faded
from his mind.

“L advise you to give yourself up,” the
lawyer said when Frazier called him from
Nairobi. “Of course, you can keep on run-
ning as long as you like. But you're wearing
yourself out, and sooner or later, someone
will spot you, so why keep on delaying the
inevitable

“Have you spoken to Marianne lately?”
you'd come back. She wants
(© to you, or call you, or even come
you, wherever you are. But Ive
told her you refuse to provide me with a
formation about your location, Is th
still your position?

“1 dont want to see her or hear from
her”

She loves you
“Tm a homicidal mani

“No”

“Then let me gr
you, at least, and she can write to you.”
“Tt could be a trap, couldn't it?”
“Surely, you can't possibly believe!
Who knows? Anything's possible."

“A postal box in Caracas, say" the
lawyer sted, "and let's say that you're
in Rio, for the sake of the discussion, and 1
arrange an intermediary to pick up the let-
ter and forward it care of Am n E
press in Lima, and then on some day of
your own choosing, known to nobody else,
you make a quick trip in and out of Peru
and—"

“And they grab me the moment I collect
the letter.” Frazier said. “How stupid do
you think I am? You could set p yin

> create а
10 get the
leiter. Bes mth America
anymore, That wa: go:

“It was only for the sake of the d
the lawyer said, but Frazier was gone
already.

He decided to change his face and seule
down somewhere, The lawyer was right:
All this compulsive traveling was wearing
him down. But by staying in one place
than a week or two, he was multiply-
ing the chances of being detected as long
as he went on looking like himself. He had
med a longer nose, anyway, and
not quite so obtrusive a chin and thicker
eyebrows. He fancied that he looked too
Slavic, though he had no eastern E
торсап ancestry at all. All one long, rainy
evening at the mellow old Addis Ababa
Hilton, he sketched a face for himself that
he thought looked properly Swiss: rugged,
passionate, with the right mix of French
elegance, German stolidity Italian passion.
Then he went downstairs and showed the
printout to the bartender, a supple lile
Portuguese.

“Where would you say this man comes
from?" Frazier asked.

Lisbon,” the bartender replied at once.
That long jaw, those lips—unmistakably
Lisbon, though perhaps his grandmother
on his mother’s side is of the Algarve. A
man of considerable distinction, I would
say. But I do not know him, Señor Schmidt.
He is no one I know. You would like your
dry

He n Vienna, Every-
one agreed that the best people for that

sort of surgery were in Geneva, but
Switzerland was the one country in the
world he dared not enter, so he u:

Zurich banking connec
names of the second-bes
said to be almost as good,
good, he was told. That seemed high
praise, indeed, Frazier thought, consider
ing it was a Swiss talking about Austrians.
The head surgeon at the Vi clinic,
though, turned out to be Swiss himself,
which provided Frazier with a moment of
complete terror, pretending, as he was, to
be a native of Zurich, But the surgeon had
been at his trade long enough to know that
а man who wants his perfectly good face
transformed into something entirely
different does not wish to talk about his
personal affairs. He was a big, cheerful ex-
trovert named Randegger, with a distinet
limp. Skiing accident, the surgeon ex-
plained. Surely. getting your leg fixed must
be e than getting your face changed,
ier thought, but he decided thal
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> soon be conve selves to this new= ame was altogether lost t0 him. So much
a " er look. He had never really felt ar ease — destruction achieved ngle crazy mo-
He went delily to work with a light with all the simulacra of his wile, whom he m he would do if he
а pen. broadening the cheekbones, moving — still loved bevond all measure ever saw Ma violent,
>= he cars downward and forward. F That love, though. had become inextr nly nor. He had a sudd
ie ed. Whatever vou want, Dr cabl mixed with anger. He could not even self in tears, hugging her kı
By desees he thought, Whatever vou want. now stop thinking about her incompre- i lie ver Bw wii Hy
Vm pully in vour hands. g violation of the sane her lover? For bringing all sorts of
Фа di took six weeks Trom fist eur to final nity of their covenant, li had been the est nasty mess and the wrong kind of publicity

healing, The results seemed fine to him— ol marriages—amiable. passionate. close
theritative
he was alraid й even thou

upting the easy
. He had never rhyihms of their happy marriage? No. he
shi of wanting another woman. hough, astonished, aghast. What do |
she had wanted: and he pave to be forgiven for? From her. nothing,
o think that his Feelings Shes the one who should go down on her
else. He staved at the had been reciprocated. That was the worst precs before me, 1 wasit the one who was
the furtive little couplings she and footing around. And then he thought, No.
wirt must have enjoyed but the deeper we imi forgive each other. And alter
al that, he thought. Best of all, I must take
care never to have anything to do with her
Jor the rest of my lite. And that thought
cut through him like a blade, like Dr. Ran-
deggers hery scalpel

Sis months later he was walking
through the cavernous, ornate lobby of the
Hotel de Paris in Monte Carlo when he saw
a Marianne standing in Front of a huge
stack of suiteases à marble pilla
more t 1. He was in-
ured to Mariannes by this time, and at
first, the sight of her had no impact: bur

me her lite:

suave, convincing ai true union on every leve
though at the begi
would all come apart il he s

dl to get used to look

led, and i She was evervihi

mirror — had every те

13 Somes
clinic the entire six weeks. One ol the mus of it no
es wore the Marianne Face, but the body Hu
was all wrong

ob the hermetic s

wide hips, startling steato- reason. the berraya
legs. Near thar enclosed their pe
» into bed He had overreacted. he knew. He
potent with her, bot — wished he could call back the one absurd.
only onc really impulsive act that had thru
bad red above I smooth and. agreeable existe:
and he сошйи see her body at all. only her ramie. wea
Deautitul, passionate, familiar Lace. felt sorry fo
Exen now. he couldn't stop been саш)
de. Sydney, Rabat. Barcelona, Mil depth. swept away by th
They went by in a blur of identical finding bimsell in M.
ports. interchangeable hotels. balling — could he have stopped t0 worry at such a
shilts of climate, Almost everywhere he ume about what he might be doi
went. he saw Mariannes and sometimes someone elses marriage:
was puzzled that they never recognized
him. until he remembered that he had al- 5 ed the Familiar monogram on
tered his faces Why should they know him — criminating himself. while he did i! I he the luggage and recognized th а
how, even after the ten vears of their mar needed any proof ol his temporary insani- Пе bows of red plush cord with which
riage? As he traveled. he began to secano tx: Ihe unter foolishness of the murder the baggi
other ubiquitous face. dark and Latin and would supply it. ized that this was the true Mari
pixvish. and realized. that Mariannes But there was no calling any of it back, Nor was this any hallucination like the
vogue must be begining to wane. Не Hurwitt was dead: he had lived on the run She was visibly older, with
»ped that some of the Mariannes would for—what, two scars, three? and Mari- her left cheek that he had
never seen before. Her hair was a darker
shade and se
cut, and she was dressed simply.

rect world.

à from his
this

intricate

tied on, and he real

E tags wer

w more ordinary in its
по radi-

nice at all. Even so. people were staring at
her and whispering. Frazier swayed,
gripped a nearby pillar with his suddenly

clammy hand, fought back the impulse 10
run. He took a decp breath and went 10-
ward her, walking slowly,
«Ча c

urned her head.
1 without any show of reco;
de look different. ves.

sors but Ld.
ender agileJooki
з she, wearing sunglass-
es, appeared fiom somewhere as though
conjured out of the floor, Smoothly, he in-
sell. between ^ and
A lover? A bodyguard? Simply
of her e yes Pleasantly but
forcefully. he presented himsell to Frazi
s though saving. Lets not have
ble now: shall we

"Listen to my voice.”
havent forgotten my voice. Only the lace is
ШЕ

n [ne or six

Well, 1 guess I asked
for that nightmare. I havent been all that up [ront Sinighisses me

little closer. looked a

lately with my subconscious." Tittle less pleasant.

140

Marianne stared.
"You forgotten, have you, Mari

anne? r said.
Sunglasses began 10

acing,

look definitely

Marianne said, as he
glided imo a nose-to-nose with Frazier.
Siep back, Aurelio.” She peered through
the shadows. “Loren?” she said.

Frazier nodded. He went toward her. At
a gesture from Marianne, Sunglasses fad-
ed away, like a genie going back into the
bottle. Frazier felt strangely calm now, He
could sec Marianne's upper lip trembling,
her nostrils flickering a little. "I thought Е
never wanted to see you again.” he said.
"But I was wrong about that. The moment
I saw you and knew it was really vou, I
realized that I had never stopped thinking
about you, never stopped wanting you.
Wanting to put it all back together."

Her eyes widened. "And you think you

a damned fool you are,” she
ly. almost lovingly, alter a long

moment

“L know. I really messed myself up, do-
ing what I did."

“1 dont mean that" sh 1.
messed us both up with that. Not to men-
tion him, the poor bastard. But that cant
be undone, can it? If you only knew how
often 1 prayed to have it not have hap-

fou

pened.” She shook her head. “It was noth-
ing, what he and I were doing. Nothing.
Just a silly fling, for Christ's sake. How
could you possibly have cared so much?"

“What?”

“To kill a man, for something like that?
To wreck three lives in half a second? For
that?”

"What?"
telling me:

he said again. "What are

s suddenly was in the picture
aga re going to miss the car to the
airport ne.”

Yes. Yes. АЙ right, let's go.

Frazier watched, numb, immobile, Sun-
glasses beckoned and a swarm of porters
materialized to carry the luggage outsid,
As she reached the vast doorway, Mar
turned abruptly and looked bac
Jin the dimness of the great lobby, her
eyes suddenly scemed to shifi in color, to
take on the same strange topaz glint th
he had imagined he had seen in Hurwitts.
Then she swung around and was gon

An hour later, he went down to the con-
sulate to turn himself in, They had a litle
trouble locating him in the list of wanted
fugitives, but he told chem to keep looking,
go back a few years, and finally, they came
upon his entry, He was allowed half a da
to clear up his business affairs, but he said
he had none to dear up, so they set about
the procedure of arranging his passage 10
the States, while he watched like a tourist

who is trying to replace a lost passport.
Going home was like returning to a for-
eign country that he had visited a long
time before. Everything was familiar, but
unfamiliar way. There were endless

gs, conferences, psychological ex
aminations. His lawyers were excessively
polite, as if they feared that one wrong

¢ him to detonate; but be-
hind their silkiness, he saw the contempt
that the orderly have for the self-desuuc-
tive. Still, they did their job well. Eventual-
ly, he drew a suspended sentence and two
years of rehabilitation, after which, they
said, he would have to move to some other
city, find some appropriate line of work

nd establish a stable new existence for
himself. The rehabilitation people would
help him. There would be a probation pe-
riod of five years, when hed have to report
for progress conferences every week.

Atthe very end, one of the rehab officers
came to him and told him that his lawyers
had filed a petition asking the court to let
him have his original face back. That star-
Цеа him. For a moment, Frazier felt like a
fugi again, wearily stumbling from air-
port to airport, from hotel to hotel.

“No,” he said. “I don't think that's a good
idea at all. The man who had that face, he's
somebody else. | think I'm better off keep-
ing this one. What do you say?”

“I think so, too,” said the rehab man.

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141

PLAYBOY

142

THEN CAME GORBACHEV (continued from page 80)

“Put simply, the change in Soviet foreign policy

ap-

pears to signal the end of the Cold War era.”

concept that we can prove the i
socialism only through our de
cies is installed as
building has ren

mph of
nestic poli-
official policy" Stalins
ined, but his foreign pol-
icy is finally bei mantled. Petrovsky is
one of those who had correctly prediced
to me that the Soviets would be leaving
Afghanistan by the end of this year

The change in Soviet foreign policy is
more profound than most people seem to
grasp. Put most simply, it appears to signal
the end of the era of Cold War, Or, as Ray
Kidder, a physicist at the Livermore wep-
ons laboratory in California, said, “The
Soviets have let go of the rope in the
weapons tug of war.” They have done this
not out of some new-found pacifism: but
out of a recognition that the weapons race
has hit a strategie dead end.

They know that there isnt anything you
can do with the big nuclear guns that
makes sense, and that their existence rules
out conventional war between the super-
powers. “The whole meaning of force
changes now,” Arbatov said. “You can have
a lot of military force and you. cannot
use it. The only size of war where you can
be successful is a Grenada-size war; any-
thing bigger creates great problems. All of
the intricate military strategies are buili on
a foundation of illusions, if vou really ana-
lyze the fundamentals. How can the
weapons be used. where does the present
trend lead and what is your interest to have
a war?”

This view was shared by Marshal Sergei
E Akhromeyey, chief of the Soviet general
staff, who replied to my questions, “Today,
the use of nuclear weapons is meaningless.
No nation at present can strengthen its sc-
curity by nuclear weapons. Mountains of
nuclear weapons continue to grow. Howev-
en the security of the nuclear powers de-
creases.” He also rejected the plausibility
of any strategies for fighting limited nucle-
war, arguing that the result of any use of
nuclear weapons would пи he entire
our pl.
шаке." Howey uch f
id been for some of the Soviet. war
gamers to putz around with “winnable” nu
clear-war sc the experience of
Cher

arios,

byl took the fun away.
.

Nuclcar-war plar
until you have gone, as I did with Ve-
likhov's aid, to Chernobyl. I was one of
the first Western reporters allowed there,
and it was profoundly sobering to go
through the scores of checkpoints and

down systems and the eerie landscape
where clothes hang on lines never to be
collected and childrens toys lie scattered
in the neat gardens to go forever unused

ni, indeed, is

As for the cancers the disaster has caused,
no one quite knows the rules of death here.
the fishin the river safe to cat? Maybe,
if the sediment on the bottom is not dis
turbed by the current. Here, we can go
with the Geiger counter, but there, beyond
that barbed-wire fence, no one should ever
go. Particularly disturbing was the sight of
a collective farm, complete with all the re
quirements of living: white farmhouses

ith blue trim, id other far

yihings. All the re-
quirements except people. And this was a
small accident.

With Chernobyl, we were able to mobi
lize the resources of the entire country
Velikhov told me upo irn from
that ghastly area ie will for cen-
ies be afraid to pick a flower. adding.
“but a nuclear war involves тапу more
frightening incidents, including the more
devastating effects of blast and heat. So
what could you do? Nothin;

Velikhov, the theoretical nuclear physi-
cist, had come up against the reality of the
destructive power of his science, and al-
though he had never given much credence
10 nuclear-war-lghting scenarios, alter
Chernobyl. he was filled with contempt for
such noti

"Alter two weeks of discussion with the
army corps,” he said. “I asked. ‘How do
you wish to survive a nuclear war if you
have no possibility to dean this small piece
of nuclear garbage? " He added, “Here we
had no pani, but in nuclea you
would have much. We had full access to
support from all over the country, and only
because of such access, we had tens of
thousands of people working h
dier can be used for only 90 seconds in the
hor place. After that, he is Iree for life
from any [nuclcar-related ] duty, the same
with pilots of the helicopters. It [the Soviet
idear effort] cost thousands of. people
who are no longer able to work in this in-
try Without this possibility 10 usc the
ations resources, it would have been im-
possible to save the 135,000 people who
were relocated. It didn't change my think-
ing about civil defense. because I never be-
lieved in it. But it opened the eyes of all
people that civil defense is nonsense.

The impact of Chernobyl on Soviet m
dear thinking was profound. More than
any other single event, Chernobyl prompt-
ed grave doubts within Sovi
ing circles over the wisdom ol
to put faith in technological fixes. N
science had somehow. seemed. pure and
logical. Suddenly. Chernobyl opened a
window through which could be glimpsed
a vision of what nuclear war would bring.

Chernobyl ended the debate between
those who thought you could have limited
nuclear-war options and those who
thought that the nucleararms race was
ding inevitably to the end of civilization
There was, of course, the additional Lear
fueled by the Reagan Administration's

war, which to the Soviets meant that a
were no longer minding the Americ
store. New costly challenges such as Star
Wars, coupled with a sagging Soviet econo-
my prompted a re-examination of what

power and security mean in the modern
world. The result is. | feel, a growing real
mg the Soviet leaders that bei
a m does not depend ц
having a certain number of treops
certain kinds of weapons; it is now po
10 be a nuclear Gulliver and a
Lilliputiar

How widespread is this view? In the
West, you hear much talk among Soviet
experts about the opposition to Gorbachev
from hard- Perhaps. Who knows?
Irs still a closed society, and neither 1 nor
the Kremlinologists are privy to the in-
ner debates of the Politburo. But 1 tend
10 accept the assessment offered to me by
Politburo member Aleksandr Yakovlev: “1
cannot recollect any divergences or
foreign policy: there is a very firm con-
sensus, including the military” Without
such a consensus, Gorbachev would
not have been able to move as boldly as
he has on arms control and. Afghanistan,
both of which reflect a commitment 10
disengagement.

The military people whom 1 imer-
viewed corroborated that idea. In one ses-
sion that took up the bener part of an
noon, 1 asked, perhaps once too of-
ten, if the Soviet military brass dicit really
have a vested interest in keeping the ur-
gency, sell id. perks brought
about by a hei of internation-
al tension. Surely, 1 argued with as much
impertinence as E could muster, their very
way of life in the military would be threat
ened if peace were to break. out. Surely.
1 said, the 1 the new peace
proposals.

General Yuri Lebedev, a no-nonsense
member ol the general staff, pounded im-
patiently on the table, “Our security de-
pends on our people finding the same
quantity and quality of goods in the stores
as your people find!” he almost shouted.
Lebedev, whom some Soviet intellectuals
regard as a hard-liner, insisted that arms-
control agreements with the United St
are part of perestroika and that i was the
military who were behind the major pro
posals on cutting back arms. “During re
cent times, we have had to take into
count that we have major problems to re-
lve—ihe food problem, reconstruction
ol our economy We certainly under-
nd that to carry out these tasks. we need
resources, and these resources can be ob-
tained through reducing military expend-
itures.

economic

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“We have to give the peopl ple
that something is being changed, and the
of something being changed fora
man in the street is goods in the stor
goods that are available in the West. So
we have a big job to do. But in waging
perestroika, we are winning in a political
and moral sense, and we are gaining our
supporters in the West.” Which is an u
derstatement, given that in a recent USIA
poll, 90 percent of the West Germans and
88 percent of the British had a "favora
impression of Gorbachev but only 44 per-
nt of cach felt that way about Rea

While the Soviet reformers see a reduc-
tion of military competition with the West
аз а necessity of their domestic reconstruc-
tion, they do not foresee an end to com-
petition on other fronts. Ther for
example, a strongly stated position among
those officials that improvements in the
quality of Soviet life and a move to a more
flexible and pragmatic foreign policy will
expose certain weaknesses in the US.
model of development. For instance, Yegor
Yakovlev, editor in chief of Moscow News,
one of the liveliest publications to emerge
in the Gorbachev era, is convinced that the
US. military-industrial complex will ac-
tively seek to prevent an end to the arms
race and that the more reasonable the So-
viet posture, the more obtuse and warlike
the American response.

This view was defended by Anatoly E
Dobrynin, the former ambassador to the
United States, one night in a lengthy infor-
mal discussion in his imposing office at the
Central Committee headquarters. Dobry-
nin, now a secretary of the Central Com-
mittee, speaks a Washington columnist's
insider English and noted, “You know, this
idea of a military-industrial complex w
invented by General [Dwight D.] Eisen
hower, not by us.” And when I replied that
surely, a comparable complex must exist in
the Soviet Union, Dobrynin, who had
n Washington
When our generals re-
tire, they go fishing. They dont become

lents of aerospace companies or
lobbyists to the Kremlin. As to the military
dustry, instead of tanks, it can make cars.
We need cars, and the profit will be the
same, because we set the pro
‘Our intention is to have a period in
h we would be able to concentrate on
domestic affairs,” said Deputy Forcig
Minister Petrovsky, who continued with a
elerence to Immanuel Kant. “This is the
categorical imperative of our time. The
best way to prove which system and which
way of life is better is by putting your own
house in order.

"Sometimes, some people here thi
that foreign policy can compensate for do-
mestic shortcomings, and that is wrong.
The roots of forcign policy are at home;
for foreign po
rely on a well-org:

Such an order, according to Dobrynin,
must include democratization of decision

making. But he concedes that the instit
tionalization of public restraint on govern-
ment is a novel question for Soviet society

Ivan D. Laptev considers that the main
problem for the Soviet Union. “The people
must know everything,” he says. “Its the
main measure of control, of monitoring
official activities to prevent mistakes, and
that is the mai n value of democratization
and openness in our society, so that the
whole party will be prevented from mak-
ing mistakes and peoples eyes will be
open.”

Toward that end, the Soviet press has
been publishing the results of Politburo
meetings for the first time, run.
ety of informati
reports, muckraking jour
foreign observations. It failed miserably,
however, in covering the recent ethnic
challenges, particularly in 2 and
Azerbaidzhan, where there wi
the bad old days, But still the prog-
ress is remarkable.

In one startling article carried by [zves-
tia tiled “Where Did the Nos Come
From?" the author listed dozens of prohi

bitions ranging from dress codes to ideas.
The answer offered was that the offici
nyels were the result of mindless bureau-
cratic imperativ

Laptev refers to this problem as a “dis-
case of thoughtlessness” and says that it “is
a heritage from those days when it was con-
sidered a rule that whoever is the boss
knows the truth, and this disease took hold
of our psychology. Now we are trying to
change this mind-set.”

The tough-looking product of a Siberi-
an orphanage, Laptey, whose parents died
in World War Tivo, is also onc of this coun-
try's new men, He started his professional
carcer as a crane operator, while studying
in the evening to graduate from the Auto-
mobile Institue. Eventually, he went to

Moscow as a champion bicycle racer and
the Moscow State University
ished by

entered
school of journalism, where he
writing a doctorate on the social and pol
cal problems of ecology: He has gone on to
e several books, one of which, he say:
predicted the rise of the pro-environmen-
tal Greens Party in West Germany.
After a stint working for the C

“About lime!”

143

PLAYBOY

144

Committee, he went to Pravda and ended
up head of the editorial board. After 18
aths, he was "unexpectedly brought
here to edit favestia,” where he has been
for the past two years.

Asked about the prospect of Lzvestia’s
criticizing Gorbachev himself, the editor
replied, “We haven't had him for long, but
1 think that if this atmosphere of glasnost is
established, you can expect this criticism
to occur.” Guys such as Laptev leave one
feeling optimistic about the future of
the Soviet system, not just because they
have the right intentions now but also be-
cause the system, even in its worst days,
produced Laptev . . . and Gorbachev

Will it work? That depends on a lot more
than the intentions of the new elite. As to
is intentions, I have little doubt. Gor-
bachev and his crowd believe that there is
no alternative to sweeping changes, and
they will attempt whatever is necessary to
make their society a player in the modern
world economy. But they had beter be
prepared to hang in there for the long
haul, because the stagnation with which
they are grappling has its fans. I refer not
to the conspiracy theories of some Western.
observers who point to presumed black-
guards in the Communist. Party Gor-
bachev has proved too tough and resilient
to be done in by such plots, if they do exist.
As Gromyko, who has lived with many a
Soviet hard-case leader put it, behind Gor-
bachevs smile teeth of steel. He can
play rough and has done so, and the cu
rent composition of the Politburo and Cen-
1 Committee is largely of his design,

On another level, he has already been
widely successful in ways that I don't think
can casily be reversed. Glasnost has been
ntroduced at a breath-taking pace, and as
a result, the political and cultural norms of
Soviet life have seriously been altered. A
cowed population has been given its head
and found it fun to be free. Of course I
mean freer, for there is a long way to go to
guaranteeing human rights in the Soviet
Union. But it’s still the difference between
day and night compared with what was
before. Three years ago, Western experts
said that the Soviets would never intro-
duce computers on a broad scale, because
people could print and communicate on
their own; now millions of computers are
being introduced. One after another, the
“You can't do thats” of the Kremlinologists
have been refuted, whether it be in the cul-
tural area, where once-banned books and
movies have been put back on the shelves,
or in the formation of thousands of private
organizations, or protests against the
abuse of the environment, national rights
and even the war in Afghanistan. Lake
Baikal was saved and the plan to reverse
major in the Soviet Union wi
stopped by environmentalists. And the So-
viets are disengaging from Afghanistan.
nically it has turned out to be easier
хо introduce a signific of polit-
ical freedom into the Soviet Union than

economic progress. The problem is not
with glasnost but with perestroika. Restruc-
turing the Soviet economy has not yet
proved its value to the average citizen. The
reforms have not gone far enough and
there is a great deal of resistance.

The debate now untolding in the Soviet
Union is still largely within elite ranks;
successful restructuring depends upon the
continued ascendancy of the new elite that
desperately welcomes this spirit. The op-
position to it is real. There has even been
talk of “paralysis” of Gorbachev's reforms,
as US. correspondents gloomily report on
resistance by political hard-liners in the
Soviet Union. But it is difficult to imagine
all of the reforms just blowing away Тоо
many of the new people, from Gorbachev
on down, have made too public a commi
ment to the new course,

One hard-liner was purported to be
Yegor Ligachev, who has been referred to
in the past by the Western press as Gor-
bachev's number-two man in the Politburo.
Around Ligachey, some Western corre-
spondents thought they saw the seeds of.
rivalry for Gorbachev and his policies.
Ligachevs departures from Gorbachev's
policies were seen by those Western jour-
nalists not as the rough-and-tumble poli-
tics common in the West but as evidence
that the reforms were going to be stopped
in their tracks.

‘That analysis is too simple. Ligachev has
resisted some aspects of glasnost but has
evidently enthusiastically em! ed much
of the perestroika drive. He may have ap-
proved the March article in Sovetskaya
Rossiya, which has been interpreted as an
anti-Gorbachev manifesto. But that effort
was trounced by a subsequent Pravda edi
torial and strong statements by Gorbachev
and other members of the

In any event, Aleksandr Yakovlev, who
has emerged as the leading Politburo
member dealing with ideological matters,
is a dedicated reformer. His take on the
movement of Gorbachev's reforms is like
the admonition about the impossibility of
getting a litle bit pregnant. “Glasnost
have no limits,” he told me a year ago. “We
cannot talk about broader or narrower
glasnost. People should know everything
and about everything. Of course, we have
people who dont want democracy at all. I
would be insincere if I didn't mention that
there are people who would say that glas-
nost and democracy will backfire. Thats
precisely why we need restructuring.”

n axiom of the Soviet re-
formers’ new faith that past efforts at
change failed because they did not make
that linkage. But how far will the new lead-
ership really go down the path toward
power sharing? I don't know and neither
do they, because the answer depends on
ables, not the least of which are
successes in the economy and improved
lations with the U.S., permitting a major
the bloated Soviet military budget.
But 1 do know that most of the top playe
now empowered in the Soviet Union are

betting their personal fut
change and would themselves be the vic-
ms if the wheel suddenly started spin-
g in reverse.

This is a settled-in society. Too many
people have learned over the decades how
to make the system, bad as it may be, work
for them personally. They know when and
how to grease the palm and offer the smile.
They can do that talk and that walk. And
now Gorbachev ing them 10 stop. to
sacrifice for a way of life whose worth. in
the economic sphere, has yet 10 be demon-
stated. “The atmosphere in our society
has grown tense as the perestroika effort
has gone deeper,” Gorbachev admitted in
his recent book, “and we have heard peo-
Was there any point to starting thi

It used to be said that an authoritar
country can make

n
trains run on time
but cannot provide more freedom for its

геп. In Gorbachev's Russia, which re-
mains authoritarian, the reverse is true.
And he must accomplish both to succeed.

But even if Gorbachev fails, there is
going back to the worst days. No Soviet
leader since Stalin has become a Stalin.
This is a different society from Russia of
the Thirties and the Forties: educated,
aware of alternatives. И operates in a very
different world context. The Soviets, liber-
als and conservatives alike, know very well
that they must function in a postnuclear,
jet-age, computerized world in which the
rhythms of the old Ked Army songs and
the rumble of its tanks are just so much
static interfering with what people really
want to do. That is, to tune in a clear satel-
lite picture of real life as the modern world
is living it, then play it back on the VCR.
makes one optimistic, ultimately, is
ts, or in Gorbachev,
than in a recognition that the world’s evo-
lution has made Cold War more untenable
for modern life. Secrecy, paranoia, mili-
arism. chauvinism are all out of sync with
the requirements of this new age, which is
fluid, changeable, dependent on new infor-
mation from all sources and international-
ist. The new generation. with or without
Gorbachev, was waiting, as Gerasimov put
it, in the wings. The failed militarists of
old, Japan and Germany, have shown the
new way: power without military might.
Freedom is now established, for all to see,
as the essential conductor of progress.

If this sounds Utopian, bear in mind
that Communists put a lot of stock in writ
ten declarations of purpose—manifes-
toes—whether by Hegel, Engels, Mi
- And here is what Gorbachev, the
current head of the Soviet Communi
Party, wrote: “It is no longer a question of
whether [we] will continue the polic
glasnost. . . . We need glasnost as we ne
the ai There is no present-day social-
ism, nor can there be, without democracy.
Sounds like a manifesto to me.

Ww
less faith in the Sov

PLAYBOY

146

GREAT PALIMONY CAPER (aon e

“Utter nonsense; Hef replied. The level of fabrica-

tion in her accusations is almost funny.

2»

it as a sort of trai

g film.”
film-character connection

an. The advertising brochure for the film
features a close-up of Carrie's perilous eyes
and copy that reads, “Look at her, and you

and you are se-
duced. Love her. And you are lost. .
Forever.”

Hef smiles at the overwrought prose but
admits, “She had me mesmerized. If Cz
rie had not walked out on me, it is difficult
to imagine how our relationship would
have ended. I can't imagine throwing her
out—I had forgiven her and taken her
back so many times.”

In a confrontation last September, Car-
rie smashed a $15,000 sculpture by Frank
Gallo and stalked off the property She
stayed for four days with Kelly Moore and
her boyfriend, returning with the news
that she had met with legal beagle Marv
helson and that she wanted a beach
house in Malibu in return for not filing a

- I refused.”
her ploy proved unsuccessful, she
appeared repentant, but 10 Grabowski,

the house.” Kelly rrie soon aft-
er, when her boyfriend kicked her out just
before the holida

ca Hahn moved in immediately after com-
pleting the national publicity tour for her

story on the Jim Bakker-PTL scandal
published in Playboy to prepare a further
feature for the magazine and start writing
a book. Carrie and Jessica became close
friends, though some now suggest that
Carrie was jealous of Jessica's celebrity, per-
ceiving a palimony suit against Hef as the
equivalent of Jessica's toppling of the PTL.

A few months earlier, Carrie had man-
aged to surreptitiously sneak Hef's keys
from his pocket, unlock a closet in the mas-
ter bedroom and swipe a video tape of a
multipartner sexual frolic he had
with several friends back in the swi
Seventies. Carrie thought she might be
able to use the tape against him in some
way in conjunction with the further threat
of a lawsuit. As Roche remarked to People,
“She's a real sick pup.”

Carrie shared her scheme with Jessica,
giving her the tape for safekeeping, Jessica
turned the tape over to Lisa Loving, who
prompuy returned it to Hef. That spelled
finis for the friendship between Carrie and
Jessica, but Carrie waited until after the
Christmas gift giving was over to split the
scene. Ina post-holiday depression, she de-
parted for New York, with Kelly and an-
other female friend in tow.

With a phone call four days after her de-
parture, she announced that she would not
be returning to the Mansion, and two days
later, rumors surfaced that she was meet-
ing with Mitchelson again and that a pal-
imony suit was in the making.

Mitchelson, variously referred to in the
legal profession as the great white shark of
palimony, shyster to the stars and an empty
the man who shepherded the land-

“My son was saying you give great head.”

mark Tiiola vs. Marvin case through the
courts. He lost that case on appeal and
most of the similar suits he pursued there-
after, but in the process, he created a new
field of law for wanna-be celebrities: pal-
imony, a cross between al and pay-
ola. He now convinced Carrie that she
could parlay her years with Hef into a lu-
crative, high-profile lawsuit.

On February 11, Mitchelson called a
Press conference in his plush Century City
ofhces to announce that he had, that
morning, filed suit in Los Angeles County
Superior Court on behalf of his client Car-
rie Leigh, demanding $5 million of Hef
for breaking his promises to marry her,
have children with her, purchase her a
home in Malibu and support her for the
rest of her life.

Seated next to Marvelous Mar
hind a bank of microphones, looking a lit-
tle scary іп a black dress with a neckline
that plunged to her lawyer's desk, Carrie
played the role of a lifetime while Mitchel-
red to the event as a “photo op-

n be-

In response 10 a question about Jessica
Hahn, Carrie announced that she had
n the breakup but re-
а to elaborate. The mere implication
of a Hefner-Hahn affair became headline
news.

"Uter nonsense," Hef replied. up-
port the claims in this lawsuit, Carrie
would have to perjure herself. The level of
fabrication in her accusations is almost
funny”

A reporter asked Carrie, “Don't you con-
sider five million dollars for five years a Iit-

ated sympathy for five
years of Mansion pampering, Carrie an-
swered, “Not for the life that I've lived, no,
1 dont."

Then she upped the ante to $35 million

The increase, Mitchelson explained, was
intended “to dissuade [Hefner] from
s long-enjoyed practice of
g teenage girls, supporting them
fora few years and then discarding them.

“But, in this case, who really did the se-
ducing and discarding?" Hef wondered.

USA Today sought reactions from Hef's
previous live-in lovers. Barbi Benton, Son-
dra Theodore and Shannon ‘Tweed, the
paper reported, “gush about his generos-
ity, kindness and honesty. .. .

“Some pals fear public jealousy could af-
fect the palimony trial,” the paper contin-
ued. “A lot of people would love to sce
Hefner get it, because he's had it good for
so long, Weed. ‘I'm not sure there is
an unbiased jury for him.
"Others are not concerned. “Carrie isn't
going to get a dime, says Theodore.
"There are too people who'll get up.
on the stand and tell the truth —she'sa bad
seed.”

“I think people are pretty perceptive,
[Hef says.] "The way I treated her and the
way she treated me all translate into very

human terms. He smiles.”
The press did not disappoint him on this

occasion. “Hugh Hefner." People magazin

observed. “has played Pygmalion to a p:

theon of Playmates over the years, picking

the comeliest from the pages of his
magazine, then transforming them from

Ye pinups into living symbols of his
Playboy philosophy. Showering them with
money and furs, posing them before the
finest photographers, offering them up
for the attentive appraisal of Hollywood
gents and producers, Hefner has shown
his women how to turn T and A into tax-
able assets, so that when their tenure as
irst Bunny ends, they do not leave empty-
aded:
Columnist Frank Swe:
Angeles Daily News re
empts to peddle her story to the
in America and abroad, calling
Lucrezia Borgia of Beverly Hill

The plaintiff failed to carry even the fe-
male vote: Ann Gerber of the Chicago
Sun-Times wrote, “Does she deserve t
[millions] she’s asking in palimony? 5
should pay Hel. She had the best clothin,
ment. food and lodging in ıl
world, access to the rich and famous, and
now she can get a vole in a steamy ick,
pose for Hustler [and] bring out a |
of Leigh Lingerie for Lovers. Leigh says
mber

low of the Los

ked upon at-
ibloids

arrie

Barbi Benton, button-nosed beaut who en-
joyed cra lepoint and kept Hef

used for years? They parted when s

ied ou mat al a child. Since
Hefner fathered the ult мот,
brainy stunner Christie, C.E.O. of Playboy
Enterprises, why should he go back to the
drawing board?

Columnist €
Post noted th

ndy Adams of the New Jor

С,

rrie was contemplat

ng acting lessons. "Carrie wants us to
eve Hef promised to marry her,” wrote
Adams, “She should give creative writing

lesson:

Even Jay Leno got into the act in his
omolog as the host of The To.

“Where did this woman come
ked. “Like, here is Hugh
who's had ten thousand
girlfriends. and she thought he was ge
to settle down, She says he interrupted her
career! Last night, Event out with a girl
She called today id shes suing me
for $9000—1 interrupted her career for
four hours.”

On March ninth, Hefner took the oflen-
sive with a countersuit and a press confer
ence of his own. Providing a "photo
opportunity” clearly intended to top
Mitchelson’s, Hef filled the living room of
Playboy Mansion West to overflowing with
members of the media. While flamingos
stalked the lawn and bare-breasted beau-
ties swam in the private lagoon. he pro-
ceeded to cflectively dismantle Mitchelson
nd his palimony claims.

This lawsuit, Hefner charged, was “an
orchestrated publicity stunt, and neither
or rea-

night Show:
he

sonably should have. any belief in the
validity of the alleged causes of action, The
only reason to initiate this action to
create public interest and media attention
so as to maintain Mitchelson in the public
eye, thereby increasing his ability to attract
new celebrity clients, and to provide a
spotlight for the plaintiff so that she might
be able to profit by selling her story to the
tabloids, magazines. movies or television.

In other words, Hef was pissed. He did
not like being used as a launching pad for
others career ambitions, He was con-
cerned about Carrie, but he felt that his
personal reputation was being manhan
died by Michelson and Leigh.

“Why not give Carrie $100,000 and let

her walk off into the sunset?” a reporter
asked.
Т offered to help her. Thats not what
she was looking for.” Hefner explained
"Someone like Mitchelson manages to c
vince a chent that there's а case when there
really isn't. What we're talking about here
is the improper use of the judicial sys-
tem... a quasidegal attempt at extortion
and celebrity. I want to puta stop to il.

Het s attorney. Tony Glassman, had his
say, and then the playboy of the Western
world introduced the new woman in his
life, Kimberley Conrad—beautiful, blonde
and serene, as sweet as Carrie was seduc-
tive: Readers met her as the Playmate of
the Month in the January 1988 issue and
she is on this month's cover.

1 have always felt that my life was
vather like a movie,” Hef confesses. “Bur
my relationship with Kimberley is beuer
than any script.

Two weeks after Carrie call from New
York concluding their tumultuous fou
and-w-hall-year all his Alabama-born
beauty arrived from
to change his life.

Vancouver-bred
Cani
Kimberley was in Los Angeles for two

days on a modeling assignment with He
mut Newton,” Hef explain
ning on screening a couple of French filiis,
Jean de Florette and Manon of the Spring
for a few friends, and I asked I
might be interested in watching them with
me. She declined, „but on the second
evening. she joined us in conversation
around the dining-room table after d,
film. Wed met several times belore on
stays at the Mansion during the shooting
of her Playmate pictorial, but there had
never been any suggestion of anything
personal between us before that night
What I didnt know and could not have
guessed was that this remarkable creature
had been quietly falling in love with me—
and I realized the same had been true for
me. H this had been a movie. there would
have been strings, and maybe a little Bob-
by Hackett horn. After that, a long we
end together was all that was required for
us to know that this was something quite
special.”

This is the best thing th
pened to Hef
abowski,
“Kimber

. E was plan

if she

ї has hap-
а very long time.” says

ey has turned his life around.”

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147

PLAYBOY

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ny. “Shes like the sunshine alter

When Kimberley moved in. she broug
Leilynd. a golden Lab. Dior: a Doberman
and Spooky, a Burmese Kitten. along with
ther belongings
ready had two small dogs. a white
n cat and a pair of parakeets.” Het
s. "so we now have a veritable menag-
e living with us in the master bedroom.
“Phe love of animals is just one of the in-
She likes old. movies,

her

terests we share,

COCHRAN!

“Colle;

games and hanging our at home, just like 1
do. She's open, sincere and straight—just
tin my lile

what I need at this poi Ive
never been happier.”

Kimberley describes her lite with Hef at
Playboy Mansion West as “paradise.” Does
the dillerence in their ages matter? soi
one asks. “I dont even think about it
replies. “I adore him.”

How can he throw himsel

she

nto another
romance so soon after Carrie? a reporter

has given me the opportunity

to grow physically, mentally and emotionally and
to develop as a total person. The fact that 1 still cant
read or write is no big deal.”

wants to know, Most men would be more
cautious after facing a multimillion-dollar
palimony suit.

“Lin not willing to give up that part ol
my ife; he admits. “Thais simply 100
great a price to pay 1 admit that Em still
the same romantic pushover 1 was when I
was young. I dont want to change. Û think
what's important is that this time, Pve
picked the right lady"

Two weeks alter the Mansion press con-
ference, Michelson upped the ame
ayain—this time from $33 million to S67
million—l a $32 million slander suit
against Hefner, which was a source of
great amusement at the Mansion

“Pathetic.” mused Het. “This man files
lawsuits the way the rest of us change
our socks.” Jo the press, he said. “Mitchel
son should go back 10 law school. What he
calls slander are the changes in our legal
response and countersuit-—áand. we fully
intend to prove them in court.”

I was not a good week for Mr. alimony.
On the same day he filed his latest suit

if Hefner, Mitchelson was ordered by
the Court of Appeals of the State of Cali-
› pay $15,000 for prosecuting a
frivolous appeal” in a similar case.

In the decision of Kurokawa i. the Estate
of Robert Beanmont—whieh began as an
unsuccessful | palimony compla;
cout of appeals concluded that Mitchel
son's client “never had the type of relati
ship she pleaded in her verified complain
or that she set forth in the claim bled in the
probate court.” The case replete with:

катмїмстщ conclusions and allega
tions, cradled in opportunism.” For his

part in the action. the court ruled, Mitchel-
son would be assessed $15,000 and would
have to “share responsibility for the flood
of lawsuits launched on gossamer-thin evi-
y support and warped analysis of
able legal theories”

Six days later, nationally syndicated
columnist Liz Smith wondered in print.
е beautiful Carrie Leigh having
second thoughts about her multimilli
dollar palimony lawsuit
Hefner? Insiders think she now feels that
attorney Marvin. Mitchelson perhaps led
her down the garden path, and shed.
prefer to longer the whole thing, since very
lie public opinion has turned in her Le
vor. But Hef is inclined to let her twist
slowly in the wind

Savoring sweet victory on the horizon.
Hefner was actually inclined to lorgive
and forget. He was too happy in his 1
relaionship with Kimberley to hold
grudges lor the deceptions and betrayals
ol the past.

In early April. it was over, Carrie Leigh
had suddenly decided 10 marry f
man named Cory Margolis, whom she had
met in New York, Over Mitchelsons initial
objections, she dropped her suit. and then
Het did the same. It was a victory for ro-
mantics everywhere, and a beaten but un-
bowed Mitchelson was free to pursue his
next frivolous prosecution.

DD N
(continued from page 116

chicken breasts, sautéed in a white-wine
sauce with fresh basil, garlic and onions,
were a legacy of the French-cooking class.
That was one that had left behind some
lasting good. So had the spreadsheet
course, which helpcd Karen get a promo-
tion at the accounting firm for which she
worked. But she hadn't even looked at the
ёрёе in the hall closet for at least three
years, That was all right with him. They
could aflord it, and he'd come to look for-
ward to his carly-cvening privacy. He start-
ed turning pages in his page turner, and
the barking thunder of assault rifles made
him stop worrying about his wife's classes.

He jumped at the noise of Karens key in
bol. By the time she got in,
though, he was back to the real world. He
got up and gave her a hug. "How d it go?”

“All right, E guess. We're going to get a
quiz next week. God knows when ГЇ have
time to study" She said that whenever she
had any kind of test coming up. She always
did fine.

While she was talking, she hung her
‚jacket in the closet. Then she walked down
the hall to the bathroom, shedding more
clothes as she went. By the time she got to
the shower door, she was naked

As he always did, Mike followed appre-
ciatively, picking up alter her. He liked to
look at her. She was a natural blonde and
not a pound—well, not five pounds—he
ier than the day they got married. He
wished he could say the same.

He took off his own clothes while she
was getting dean and scratched at the
thick black hair on his chest and stomach
He sighed. Yes, he was an increasingly
well-fed bear these days.
jour turn,” Karen said, emerging pink
and glowing

She was wearing a teddy instead of paja-
mas when he went back into the bedroom
“Hi there,” he said, grinning. After a
decade of living together, they did a lot of

their communicating without words, She
turned off the light as he hurried toward
the bed.

Afterward, drifting toward sleep, he
had a thought that had occurred to him
befor

She made love like an account-
for fear of
hurting her feelings, but he meant it as a
compliment, She was as competent and or-
derly in bed as out, and if there were few
surprises, there were also few disappoint-
ments. “No, indeed,” he muttered

"What?" Karen asked. Only a long, slow
breath answered her

А
‘Their days went on in that regular fash-

ion, except for the occasional Tuesday
when Karen came home with bits of icing
in her hair. But the magnificent chocolate

cake she did up for Mike's birthday showed
she had really gotten something out of that

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PLAYBOY

150

to send her to Chicago for three weeks.

“We just gor a big multinational for а
diem,” she explained to Mike, “and
fighting off a take-over bid has left their

taxes screwed up.”
And your people want you to help

hten things out?” he said. "Thats a
feather in your cap.”
ГЇЇ just be part of a team, you know”
All the same

“I know,” she said, "but three w
my classes will go to hell. And,” she
as if suddenly rememberin
you

a
“TI miss you, toc
they hadn't been apart for more than a
couple of days at a time since they'd been
married,

The next Monday morning, he made
one of loves ultimate sacrifices—he took
half a day off from his engineering job to
drive her to LAX through rush-hour
trallic. They kissed in the unloading zone
till the fellow in the car in back of them
leaned on his horn. Then Karen scooped
her bags out of the trunk and dashed into
the terminal.

While she was away, Mike did a lot of the
things men do when apart from their
wives. He worked late several times; going
home seemed less attractive without any-
one to go home to. He rediscovered all the
reasons he didn't like fast food or frozen

entrees. He got horny and rented Behind
the Green Door. only to find that few things
were lonelier than watching a dirty movie
by himself

He talked with Karen every two or three
days. Sometimes he'd call, sometimes she
would. She called one of the nights he
stayed late at the office and, when he called

been out with a floozy
Eighties word,” he told her. They both
laughed.

Just when he was ea looking for-
ward to having her home, she let him know
she'd have to stay another two weeks.
sorry,” she said, “but the sit
complicated that if we dont straighten it
out now, once and for all, well have to keep

“What am I supposed to do, pitch a fit?
He felt like it. “I'll sec you in two week
From his tone of voice, she might have
been talking about the 21st Century—and
the late 21st Century, at that

Another thing for a man to do is hug his
wife silly when she finally gets off the
plane. Mike did it.

“Well,” Karen sa
breath back. “Hello.

He looked at his watch. “Come on,” he
d the baggage

id once she had her

claim. “I
wan place we go to,
would be an hour late. And

ng your flight
nce you were

HUDSON, WALSH
€ TUCKER

ATTORNEYS AT LAW

To The VicIMs
Go The SPOILS”

only forty minutes late——"

“We have a chance to get stuck on the
freeway instead." Karen finished for him.
"Sounds good. Let's do i

“No, let's have dinner first,” he said. She
snorted.

The world—even traffic—was a lot eas-
ier to handle after spicy pork and a couple
of cold Tsing-Tao beers. Mike said so.
adding, "The company doesnt hurt, ei-
ther." Karen was looking out the window:
She didn't seem to have heard him.

When they got back to the condo, she
frowned for a few seconds. Then her face
deared. She pointed to Mike's fish tanks.
"I've been gone too long. I hear all the
pumps and filters and things bubbling
away ГЇЇ have to get used 10 screening
them out again.”

“You've been gone too long.” Mike set
down her suitcases. He hugged her again.
“That says it all.” His right hand cupped
her left buttock. “Almost all.”

She drew away from him. “Let me get
cleaned up first. I've been in cars and a
plane and airports all day long, and I feel
really grubby”

“Sure.” They walked to the bedroom to-
gether. He took off his clothes while she
was getting out of hers. He flopped down
on the bed. “After five weeks, I can proba-
bly stand waiting just about another fifteen
minutes."

"OK," she said. She went into the bath-
room. He listened to the shower running,
then to the blow driers electric whine.
When she came back, one of her eyebrows
quirked. “From the look of you, I'd say you
could just barely wait.”

She got down on the bed beside him. Aft-
er a while, Mike noticed that long absti-
nence wasn't the only thing cranking his
excitement to a pitch he hadn't felt since
their honeymoon and maybe not then. Ev-
ery time, every place she touched him, her
caress seemed a sugared flame. And he
had all he could do not to explode the in-
stant she took him in her mouth. Snakes
wished for tongues like that, he thought
dizzily.

When at last he entered her, it was like
sliding into heated honey Again, he
thought he would come at once. But her
smooth yet irresistible motion under him
urged him on to a peak of pleasure, and
then to a place past that. Like a thunder.
clap, his climax lefi him stunned.

My God," he gasped, stunned sull,
“you've been taking lessons

From only a few inches away, he watched
her face change. For a moment, he did not
know what the change meant. Of all the
expressions she might put on, calculation
was the last he expected right now. The
she answered him. “Yes,” she said, “I
have...

The law-for-nonlawyers course did not
go 10 waste. A couple of months later, she
did their divorce herself.

ASPEN WHEN ITS HOT

(continued from page 114)
for intellectuals, dedicated by Albert
Schweitz s well as about a festival a
weck between June and September. Name
topic—food and wine, Hamas, ballet, mu-

ir balloons, photography, arts and
crafts, saving wildlife—and Aspen proba-
bly has a festival for it.

Aspen' range of choices makes it easy 10
find something for most tastes—unless
you find variety stressful. Thats the reason
the locals think it’s better when the weath-
ers warm: In the winter, it's ski or shop. In

the summer, its, well, just about anything
that goes with gorgeous scenery And
theres no dearth of entrepreneurs to help

you make the pick: professional outfitters
with whimsical names ranging from Blaz-
ing Paddles (rafts and kayaks) 10 Blazing
Pedals (mountain bikes) to Blazing ‘Ir:
(back-country jeep tours). Th
things to do is endless, so, rather than nat-
ter on like a waiter at one of Aspens tony
us. let me offer a few of my favor
ite topics and observations—perso
no doubt, eccentric—culled from
visits over the past few years.
Nobody) fat in Aspen.

Title of a song, and too, 100 true
Nowhere have I seen a fitter, better-look-
ing group of human beings, Most seem to
be blond, and you see one beautiful body
after another jogging along the mountain
wails. The sun, the clean air, the sweat on
those taut thighs produce so much sexual
energy that if it could be bottled, the pub-
lisher of this magazine would have to find
another business.

9. Everybody be fat in Aspen

I everyone ate as well as he could, that
is. Exhibit A: At Gordon's, the chef ar-
ranges to have his herbs and lettuce grown
in а special greenhot
Fork Valley—God forbid they should wilt
on the flight in from LA. The menu
wildly eclectic—Kick Ass Swordhsh is
ure dish (it's cooked with tequila)
id. exotic seasonings show up in unex-
pected places. such as on your duck confit.
Save room for dessert, too. It's prepared by
Gordons wife, Rebecca, and her Heath
Bar cake can induce sweetness tr

If Gordon's is booked, star
not automatically follow. Aspen has about
BO restaurants. Try the new Pinons, Ihe
ИШ on the Park, Abetone or Poppies
ro. About ten miles away, im the sister
village of Snowmass, Chez Grandmere and
bloonik are worth a special trip. Best
Aspen dining story of 1988 (so far): A rich
New Yorker likes Aspen so much that he
aded the owner of his favor-
aurant to open a branch
in Aspen so he shouldn't be without during
s why there’s a Mezzaluna in
Aspen- “not the best restaurant in town,

restaur

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toheart disease, kidney disease
and blindness. So when you
support the American Diabetes
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but the pasta and the pizza are fine. Can
Spago and Lutece cones be far behind:

3. Shop till you drop.

I know that sounds unreasonable, but
Fd rather shop in Aspen than in either
New York or Los Angeles. OK, there are
only 16 art galleries, plus three crafts
stores, nine jewelers and three stores car-
ying nothing but clothes for children. But
you can also pick up moose-antler chande-
liers and kayaks. You want a white ski suit
with leopard-print inserts and a matching
handbag for vour girlfriend? Head for the
Stefan K: ki shop and take your Plat-
inum card, Not only is die selection of
goods around town impeccable but you
don't have to contend with rude salesclerks.
buzzers on the doors, steel grates on the
windows and other charming features of
shopping on Madison Avenue. Prices are
high, but so is the quality. And in summer.
the good stuff is often on sale.

4. So youre a country-club kind of guy?

Try The Snowmass Club in the summer
Picture yourself in a lounge chair beside a
pool. / haired teenager in tight
tenn nd a tank top is peering at
you through her regulation-issue Vuar-
nets, waiting 10 take your order. You bl;
out momentarily from oxygen deprivation
When you come to, you'r

ng out
across the golf course to the snow-capped
spire of Moum Daly. Your piña colada ar-
ves, and you decide thar you must call
Continental Express airways and move
your flight back to next ‘Tuesday, or next
October.

During the summer, The Snowmass
Club is my favorite place to stay in Aspen
(actually, it's in Snowmass). The food has
had its ups and downs, but everything else
is exceedingly pleasant—not what you'd
expect from a mountain spa. There are 13
tennis courts, a golf course and a sort of

“Oh-oh, I think this contest is already history.

Ralph-Lauren-goes decor thats
soothi:
Its far from the only place to stay in the
Some prefer. Aspen itself. and the
downtown place to beat is the Hotel
Jerome, a cowboy version of New Yorks
Plaza hotel, renovated last year (for аро
zillion dollars) to a state of unabashed Vic-
torian splendor. The Sardy House is As-
pens idea of a simple bed-and-breakfast
inn, while the Aspen Ski Lodge has a
touch of Eurostyle in the Rockies. The
Snowflake Inn has gentler prices, plus the
е pool and hot tub. Again, the fact
mmer rates are in effect adds a lot to
lure.
Rocky Mountain high notes.

The Aspen Music Festival is now in its
40th year, and its as good as they come.
This distinguished festival and associated
music school bring a swarm of tor
performers and students to town for nine
weeks every summer. Sitting under the big
white tent on a summer's afternoon while
The Aspen Festival Orchestra has a go at
Beethoven or Dvorak is pure pleasure. Ev-
ery day, the streets are filled with student
soloists, impromptu brass trios and string
quartets. Restaurants invite them in to
play for dinner guests. Favorite moment:
Last year, I was sitting under the tent ona
July afternoon. Conductor Kenneth Jean
was about to cue the orchestra for the
opening bars of Earl Kim's Where Grief
Shumbers, a song cycle set to poems by Rim-
baud and Apollinaire. The opening words
of the first song were “Listen to it rain,”
and as the sop g the first note—
you guessed it—a ous down-
pour. Every eye lifted he:

6. Leavin on a jet plane. .
Sardy Field, Aspen’s local ai
barely bigge 1 the deck of an aircraft
carrier, but on busy days. it seems to have
more take-offs and landings than O'Hare.

skiing

are

trip, is

Lots of those planes are making regularly
scheduled hops from Denver, but plenty
more are the private Learjets and Gulf-
streams of the ultrawealthy. They are the
toys that really separate the men from the
boys, and just watching their steeply
gled take-olfs over the valley provides a vi
ious rush of adrenaline. Look for the
custom paint jobs, which mean that the jets
are privately owned, not merely rented.
Last year, althy retailing titan landed.

his private 727 at Sardy Field. It was the
biggest plane ever to touch down there.
The owner and his friend got off, checked.
on the progress of the 20,000

square-foot
house they're building in town, had lunch
and flew out again that afternoon. Roger.

7. No movie-star-home maps available. Yet

Red Mountain, a smooth, trecless slope
on the side of the valley opposite the ski
lifts on Aspen Mountain, is aswarm with
8000-square-foot chalets that sell for a cool
$6,000,000 or so. (One local real-
estate guide divides its listings between
those that scll for more than and those that
sell for less than 31,000,000.) Leon Uris,
Barbi Benton, Jack Nicholson, Glenn Frey,
Goldie Hawn, not to mention the fella with
the guitar, Mr. Rocky Mountain High him-
self, all have homes there. Also Rupert
Murdoch. Didn't we mention that this was
a progressive town? Why isn't Murdoch in
Palm Springs, where he belongs? Is some-
thing happening? Watch your local tabloid
for signs of taste.

8. The cops drive Saabs in Aspen.

Yes, cute white ones with flashing lights
on top. The handsome, invariably musta-
chioed local gendarmes stroll around town
in the summer in jeans, cowboy boots and
baseball caps. Cool or what?

9. The hike lo the Maroon Bells.

Aspen sits at the head of the Roaring
Fork Valley, and just to the south are some
of the tallest mountains in Colorado. peaks
top out at more than 14.000 feet. The
-known local spires are the triple sum-
of the Maroon Bells. Their raw, ex-
posed faces of crumbly rock soar nearly
straight up from the surrounding mead-
ows. These peaks form the backdrop for
those cereal ads with John Denver and for
countless other commercials.
hike from the parking lot at the top of
Maroon Creek Road to Grater Lake, at the
foot of the Bells, wi about an hour,
and you should start carly in the morning.
When you get 10 the lake, set out a picnic.
If you and your companion happen to be
city folks, the little creatures who join you
on the blanket may look like mice, but
they're not. They're chipmunks, they five
there and they like you. Its all too cute for
words, but it happens to be real. Now take
out that boule of Moet et Chandon, pour it
into the two glasses you stuffed into your
nd drink a toast to Aspen in the
Theres nothing quite like it.

LORDS тне PLIES

(continued from page 86)
letting it straighten out, then driving it for-
ward at just the right moment with a slight
haul so that slack line will shoot effortlessly
out over the water to land in a straight line
some 60 or 70 feet long. After a short drift

way it does when you drive a golf ball per-
fectly, catching it with the sweet spot on the
dub so that you are almost unaware of the
mpact.

After the beauty of the rivers and the
fish, the satisfactions of the equipment and
the flies and the pleasurable activity of
casting, it does not seem that there could
be much more. But that is all merely the
fishing, and, as an eminent angler once
said, paraphrasing Izaak Walton, “The
least important thing about fishing is
fishing.”

There are other pleasures in fly-fishing
that are as vivid as lunch on the bank of a
eam, with a bottle of chilled white wine
There are companions, some of them
lifelong, with whom you share only an-
gling. There are hours spent in shops or
with catalogs during the off season or
evenings spent reading from the consider-
able literature on the sport

Anglers look upon their sport as some-
than a pastime or a hobby. To
them, it is a calling. And they make a
record of their progress, their findings
and their growth. To be a fly-fisher
you don't have to be prep
book, merely to risk trying something that
you may find irresistible. In the end, as
rnold Gingrich once said, “Fly-fishing is
just about the most fun you can have
standing up."

nan,

'd to write a

LEARNING

The traditional way to learn how to fly-
fish is то grow up with it, being taught a
little more each season by your father or
some other figure of authority. Lacking
that, there is commercial help. Twenty
years ago, the first formal fly-fishing school
nized by The Orvis Company to
attract fishermen from New York and Bos
ton to Manchester, Vermont, home of the
^s retail store. The school was a tr
ook usallbysurpi
says Leigh Perkins, president of Orvi:

Now the Orvis schools are an institution.
Drive through. Manchester. on afte
noon in late spring or early fall, and you
will see the students out on the law
to the store, waving their rods and s
their lines out over the ponds that a
stocked with trout. Before graduating, the
students will fish the Battenkill, perhaps
the tough:
tion, call Orvi

There are many fishing schools in the
West, but if you had to choose one,
should be the school Mike Lawson runs for
one week out of Elk Creek Ranch, near the
Henry's Fork of the Snake River in Idaho.

Lawson is a large, friendly man who has
guided many prominent fishermen on the
Henrys Fork and has taught some cele-
brated novices, including Don Johnson
and Harrison Ford. His shop, Henry's Fork
Anglers in Last Chance, Idaho, is a meet-
ing place for anglers.

Lawson's one-week program includes in-
struction by himself and Mel Krieger, ai
guably the world’s foremost casting coach.
There are float trips on the local
cluding the Henry's Fork and the Madison.
The instruction covers everything and the
fishing water is the finest in North Ameri
ca. Lawson can be reached at 208-558-
7525.

Lee and Joan МАШУ school

Beach, New York, is another first-r
ic. Wulll is one of the grand figures in
American angling and his wife, Joan, is a
tournament caster. They can be reached at
914-439-4060.
Bean, Inc. conducts clinics in
nd elsewhere. These schools a
under the supervision of Dave Whitlock,
п innovative Aytier and angler. The L.L
Bean number is 800-341-4941.

Also, the Fenwick Company, maker of an
excellent line of rods, conducts The Fen-
wick Western Fly-Fishing Schools not far
from Yellowstone Park. Call 714-897-106¢
for information

Any of these schools will get you over
the initial awkwardness of trying to simul-
taneously wade a stream, spot a fish, check
Tor insect activity and make a delicate, ac-
curate cast with a nine foot graphite rod.

SUBLIME STREAMS

Thousands of miles of rivers, creeks and
streams in North America hold trout—
and salmon—but some hold more and are
easier to fish or have more tradition associ-
ated with them. These are considered spe-
cial by anglers. Here are some of America’s
premiere streams.

The Beaverkill (and Willovemoc Creek)
in the Catskills of New Y Only a two-
nd-a-half-hour drive from Manhattan,
these are quality fishing waters and the
birthplace of much of the American an-
gling heritage. Theodore Gordon—the
godfather of American trout. fishing—
once cast over these waters. The fishing is
still very good because of regulations that
prohibit the killing of trout or fishing with
live h There are lovely, small ern
waters that suffer only from crowds and
the proximity of a major high With a
litle work, you can get away from both,
fish out the evening May-fly hatch on Sun-
day and still make it back to the city for
some C se food before bed and work in
the лм.

The Ausable in the Adirondacks of New
York. Another fine freestone river, this one
in more rugged, distant and less-populat-
ed country than the Be ill.

The Au Sable in Michigan. A gentle, f
ule stream that flows out of the low cedar
country of Michigan through the old tim-
berland and into Lake Huron. Ihe Au

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PLAYBOY

154

Sable has a gravel bottom with weed
growth and a heavy population of aquatic
sects and trout. The river flows through
avling, a picturesque town founded dur-
ing the logging days.

The White River in the Ozarks of Ar-
kansas. This is probably the southernmost
quality trout stream before you reach the
Andes. The water in the river remains
constantly near the optimum for trout,
since it is all dam-released. That means
you can fish for trout in Arkansas when
the streams elsewhere are covered with ice.

The Firehole in Wyoming. If Dante had
been a fly-fisherman, this would have been
his favorite stream. Fed by the same
geothermal system that accounts for Old
Faithful, this Yellowstone Par
mains warm very late in the year. In Oc-
tober, it is common for insects and
snowflakes to mingle in the air. The trout
feed hungrily on the insects.

The South Platte in Colorado. Despite
the fact that it is near Denver, the South
Platte is one of the best big trout streams in
the country.

‘The Spring Creeks of Paradise Valley.
Just outside Livingston, Montana, you can
find several lethargic-looking streams me-
andering through the mountains. They
are fed by underground sources, so they
maintain а near-constant flow and temper-
ature that are good for the insect popula-
tions and, hence, the trout. Ultimately, that
is good for the fisherman. He can spend a
wonderfully productive and relaxing day
in the shadow of the Absarokas, fishing
Armstrong, Nelson or DePuy creeks.

There are, of course, dozens of other
streams. The Green in Wyoming. Hat
Creek in California. The Big Hole in Mon-

river re-

tana. The Umpqua in Oregon. Silver
Creek in Idaho. The Alaskan rivers. The
rivers of the Canadian Maritimes for At-
lantic salmon. And then, as the angler rai
es his sights, he will see the ri
Patagonia, New Zealand, Norway and
Scotland. So many rivers and so little time.

PLACES ALONG THE WAY

Except when in the stream, fly-fisher-
men like to hang around with other fly-
fishermen. (In the stream, they become
misanthropic.) In the old days, Manhattan
editors, account executives, bankers and
brokers who were obsessed with fly-fishing
would spend their lunch hours at the old
and now defunci—Abercrombie & Fitch
store, where they would commiserate over
the flies and the rods, occasionally taking
one of the latter up to the roof, where they
would practice in the 50-foot casting pool.

If you fish, you will want to stop by such
places as chese along the way.

Antrim Lodge in Roscoe, New York,
near the junction of the Beaverkill and
Willowemoc. This small country inn estab-
lished in 1890, where anglers ate, drank
and slept, is worth a stop for the memories.

Judith Bowman's rare-book business
ializes in angling titles, including first
i nd signed copies, Her latest cata-
log covers angling, hunting and natura
history. You can write for it in care of
Judith Bowman, Bedford Village, New
York 10506.

Martin Keane deals in classic
and other collectibles. You can rea
at PO. Box 888, Stockbridge, Ma
seus 01262.

“Excuse me, John. Is that your beeper or mine?”

such items of interest as rods owned by
Hemingway and Eisenhower. They also
have a large collection ol good art. W
low Homer, among other artists, found the
trout a challenging subject

There is almost certain to be a tackle
shop near most major trout streams. Some
are better than others. At the better ones,
there vill likely be a fly-tying bench, a tc
phonc you can use, a place to sit and rcad a
magazine, abundant free advice and
things for sale. The Gates’ Lodge in Gray-
ling, Michigan, is such a place. So are
George Andersons Yellowstone Angler
just outside Livingston, Montana, and
Craig Mathews Blue Ribbon Flies in West
Yellowstone. In Jackson, Wyoming, you
should stop in at the Jack Dennis Outdoor
Shop, which features sporting goods of all
sorts and an extensive collection of excel-
lent contemporary art.

Finally, the fly-fisherman who wants to
put some distance— physical and spiritu-
al—between himself and the daily routine
will want to commit himself to one of the
many lodges designed for that. The air
will be clean, the nights quiet and full of
stars. The food will be good and hearty,
and there will be something stronger than
white wine when he is thirsty. There will be
a big fireplace and wool blankets on the
bed. Good fishing and good talk

There are many such places, but any
short list should include the follow
‘amboat Inn on the North Umpqua
River in Steamboat. Oregon. is Valhalla for
steelhead fishermen.

Lone Mountain Ranch in Big Sky. Mon-

tana, is a year-round operation that fea-
tures cross-country skiing im the winter
and horseback riding and fishing in the
summer. [ts proximity to Yellowstone and
several first-class trout streams account lor
much of its appeal. The food accounts for
the balance.
Falcons Spencer Lake Lodge outside
ngor, Maine, may be the pinnacle of
haute sport. This is the old fly-in sort of ar-
rangement brought up to late—20th Cen-
y standards of comfort and service. It is
the sort of place Charles Ritz (a famous fly-
fisherman) would have established in the
ine wilderness if he had not been busy
running his own hotel in Paris.

One final recommendation for fy-fish-
ing for trout. It seems to make conserva-
tionists out of those who are passionate
about it. You cannot wade in a clear, un-
tainted stream, catching fish and return-
ing them to the water, and be indiflerent to
the possibility that it may be poisoned for
some dubious economic advantage or by
simple indifference. For all of its immedi-
ate payoffs and the many ways in which it
satisfies the senses, fly-fishing for trout has
a way of making the angler consider the
future and commit himself to the oldest
and best hope of all—renewal.

You cant ask more than that of any
sport.

'ON-THE-SCENE\

A REASON TO TERRY

hat's white and shabby and hanging behind have escaped from the back-of-the-door hook and emerged
your bathroom door? The same old buddy with as swim cover-ups that make a stylish statement all their own.
W aripped belt loop and a torn pocketthat you've There are ample looks to choose from, including white terries
been wrapping your after-shower body in for with contrasting piping, reversible and hooded models, bold
years. OK, but your terrycloth robe isn't that bad, you say. stripes and bright patterns. But the bottom line is that a terry
Sure, fella, tell that to the pool attendant. Towels with arms robe is a towel to go—with pockets, See you at the pool.

Above left: The easy elegance of a cotton terry/velour robe, by Neri Del Ponte, about $300. Center: A luxurious hooded cotton terry/velour
awning-striped maxilength robe with a large button-tab-collar closure, by Bill Blass, about $90. Right: Striped for action in a cotton hooded
robe with an absorbent terrycloth lining, $95, and matching terry-lined cotton beach pants, $35, both by Caulfeild for F.B.P. Marketing. 155

Raton-model ceiling fan with a seven-foot blade span
of broadcloth silk strung to fiberglass fishing
rods that rotate on two bicycle-sprocket hubs.
Three light fixtures are available, in four
color combinations, by Casablanca

Fan Company, City of Industry,

California, $1500. Wi

out the light, $1250.

The Marantz RC-20
Programmable
Remote Con-
trol mem-
orizes

Its 60-func-
tion keyboard con-

disc player and tuner/
amplifier or receiver, $99.

The condom has come of age, and now there
are elegant cases in such exotic skins as
alligator, crocodile, ostrich and bufíalo in
which you can carry your French letters,
all from Luc Benoit,
New York, $80 to $200.

An attaché with panache! The front panel of this elegant
Italian-made 16" x 12%” cowhide case folds down to become a
белу lap desk thal includes compartments for credit cards,
ines, etc, plus a portfolio file for daily records and places for pens
rd pesa Kon T Ail dy New odi $925, In ione ae bc eather

PHOTOGRAPHY Bv STEVE CONWAY

A perfect addition to
picnic basket or
tackle box, this
neat folding util-
ity knife indudes

а 3%” blade, а
corkscrew, a

Shabooms ceramic
AM/EMs are a blast
from the past, with
colors, designs and
shapes recapturing

the great golden

age of rock and

roll, when radio

truly rocked around

the clock. Each of
these Fifties-style radios
operates on one nine-
volt battery and
comes in a funky
gift box, from
Leadworls, Solon,
Ohio, $60 each.

Three sleek halogen
lights, designed by Ga-
briella Montaguti, include
a Graal model 65"-tall
adjustable floor lamp
(eft), $560, a similar Graal
desk lamp (center) that
rotates 360 degrees,
$360, and a Lancillotto
floor lamp (right) with
a brightness regulator,
$400, all from Thunder &
Light, New York. Nifty!

screwdriver, a
bottle opener
and an ice pick
that doubles as a
marlinespike, by
Mouli, Belleville,
New Jersey, $15.

Sharp's
3ML100 LCD TV,
shown inits actual size, provides
it ure clarity on its 3" screen
1 picture dots than any other tiny
TV. It’s pocket-size, portable and runs on a dry-cell, а car
or a rechargeable battery or A.C. current, about $600.

Tunnel Vision

The Boss, BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN,
takes a quiet moment with an audi-
ence, not unusual on his Tunnel

of Love Express concert tour.
Says Bruce, "Iknewiwasgo- gf
ing to do something the- /
matically different . . . to

break with the pasta
tle bit.” Visionary.

PAULNATKIN / PROTO RESERVE INC

She's Got the
Whole World in
Her Hands

Well. Anything we can
tell you about actress
MICHELLE CARLISLE
pales next to this photo.
If you still happen to be
reading, you can see
Michelle at the movies
in Ninjas Are Us or
Dragnet. Do we know
how to salute summer,
or what?

$
Н

A Is for Amy

Actress AMY HABERMEL is
quite a dish. You've seen her in
Personal Foul and Another
Chance on the big screen
Levi's television commercials.
We think you're seeing her here
at the top of her form. Amy's
grade is a perfect ten.

Extending
the Range
BRUCE HORNSBY’s recent album, Scenes from
the Southside, rolled up the charts, while he and
his band, the Range, are rolling through a U.S.
summer tour. Catch the action.

Kiss Away

PAUL STANLEY
plans to devote
part of his summer
to touring Europe,
the other part to
chasing bikinis.
M you want to
catch up with him,
see The Decline of
Western Civiliza-
tion Part Il: The
Metal Years.

A Couple of
Classics
Ex-Smiths' front
man MORRISSEY
is out on his

own with a

solo album,

Viva Hate.

A Peek into the Bateman Archives

JUSTINE BATEMAN is aknockout, and the dress isn'ttoo shabby,
either. Get ready for one last season of Family Ties, then the
Kealons retire to syndication heaven. Don’t worry about Justine;
more movie projects follow. Little Mallory's all grown up.

FOR SWINGERS ONLY

The Royal Viking Line has
just raised the anchor on a se-
ries of golf cruises being of-
fered through December on
a number ol its top vessels.
Ports of call are all over the
map and, depending on your
ship's itinerary. will include
Copenhagen, Dublin, Bar-
bados. Rio and other dest
tions dear to the heart of the
dedicated duller. While
ashore, you'll һа shot at
such world-c links as St
Andrews, Gleneagles, St
Thomas’ Mahogany Run and
Rio's Gavea Golf and Coun-
try Club. On board. there
be clinics, lessons and celebri-
ty golfers to keep you in the
swing of things, plus ple
of time for kibitzing at the
A 19th hole. Since the lengths

and the prices of the cruises

vary from $3154 to $1
\ per person, double occup
cy, you'll want to contact Roy-
. 750 Battery

SEE SHELLS TO COLLECT

Remember the old joke about going to the beach and having your clam
digger give out? [f that happens to you, just borrow one of vour girlfriend's
Body Shells and keep digging, A Body Shell, as you may have guessed, is
the lightweight acrylic top pictured here that comes in a variety of colors
from black and white to periwinkle and teal. Hutchie de bödie, Inc., 201
30th Street Drive Southeast, Cedar Rapids, lowa elis the Shells in
two sizes—medium (shown) and large, for $20, postpaid. Shells with 24-kt.-
gold trim are $32 a pair. When she's not playing mermaid, they also look
great with an open shirt or a wrap.

POTPOURRI

FIVE STARS OVER COLORADO

Not long ago, winners of Mobil's coveted
Five Star Award bled at The Broad-
moor res Colorado Springs (sell а
Five Star winner) for a gala black-tie
weekend of nonstop entertainment. While
no new winners were announced this year
representatives from 31 hotels, resorts
and restaurants were present, including
our favorite Shangri-la, Tall Timber, a
luxurious hideaway outside Durango, Col-
orado, reachable only by railroad or heli-
copter. Mobil Guides are $8.95 each. A
good buy for when you're going bye-bye.

GOING SOLO

Solo Sports Video in Dana Point, Califor-
nia, makes videos for people who hate
spectator sports—and we're not talking
about a backwoods game of Gotcha. Seri-
‘ous surfing, skate- and snow-hoarding.
skiing and bicycling are just some of the
subjects that the daredevils at Solo Sports
shoot; for exampl its video ti-
ted Impact Zone is as a film on wind-
surfing as you'll probably ever see. A call
to 800-

VINTAGE MM

It stands to reason that a wine

lyn Merlot would
be called by some learned
ocnophiles “the best full-bod-
ied red of 1987" But this limit-
ed bouling, from the Nova

Wine Partners in Napa Valley.
California, is no joke. The
wine is 95 percent merlot

grape, five percent cabernet
franc. MM fans will wish to
st for che label
ic has the approval
s estate.) At this
уп Merlot is avail-
able only at upscale vino empo-
riums in California and New
York. A very good rea
trip to the Coasts.

A BREAK
FOR THE PRISONER

Remember The Prisoner, that
allegorical TV series starring
MeGoohan as Number
who resigned his
top-secret job only to be kid-
naped and taken to a myste
ous village? To celebrate the
show's 20th anniversary, there's
going to be a reunion in Wales
A stamped, self-addressed en-
velope sent 10

172, Hatfield, Pennsylva

19440, will get you information
on the reunion and how you
can join the society.

BRIEF STORY

Little wonders never cease. Just
when you think that you've
seen every possible type of fur-
niture ever created for the ex-
ecutive suite, along comes
something new— The Orig
‘cutive Briefcase Chair. It's
a pint-sized hardwood model
only 16 inches tall at the seat,
adorned with a personalized
brass medall 's the per-
fect height on which to rest a
bricfea: awson Alliants
Corporation, PO. Box 250227,
Atlanta, Geor
the Briefcase

PARTY TIME!

In case you didn't recognize him, that's Chri
Dior dressed as the king of beasts for the Bal des
Rois et Reines held in Paris in 1949. Fun, ch? And
he's just one of the many international thrill seek-
ers to whom you'll be introduced in Legendary
Parties (Vendome Press), a coflee-table hardcov
by Prince Jean-Louis de ucinge that’s a
bas erie of glitzy gal ween 1922
nd 1972, Fifty dollars is your entry fee. Onward,
into the night! Let the good times roll!

ble-bod-
ou may still be

Aussie fever continues, and if you're an
ied he son and you hur

trip on horseback, boating on the
Great Barrier Reef and much more for only
$3900, including from Los Angeles and
all meals and d n the ride. The Never Nev-
er Outback Ride, PO. Box 987, Malibu, Calito
90265, is where to write for more details. And asl
for the catalog of neat Aussie products, 100.

BORN AGAIN

NEXT MONTH

ARISTOTLE UVES

SEXY MACHINES

"GOLDWATER"—EXCLUSIVELY IN PLAYBOY, ONE OF
THE MOST RESPECTED SENATORS OF RECENT TIMES
HAS HIS SAY ABOUT MCCARTHY, IKE, J.F.K., NIXON
AND REAGAN BUT SAVES HIS BEST SHOTS FOR TO-
DAY'S POLITICIANS AND MEDIA MOGULS—BY BARRY
GOLDWATER WITH JACK CASSERLY

“NOUVELLE BIBLE BELLE"—SNEAK A PEEK AT THE
JESSICA HAHN JIM BAKKER NEVER SAW. ONE
GLIMPSE AT THE NEW JESSICA—IN RARE FORM—AND
WE'RE SURE YOU'LL AGREE SHE'S HEAVEN ON EARTH

TRACEY ULLMAN OFFERS ADVICE TO TAMMY BAK-
KER, DISCLOSES THE BRITISH ROYAL FAMILY'S LOVE
SECRETS AND REVEALS HER FOOLPROOF METHOD
FOR FLUSTERING DAVID LETTERMAN IN AN OUT-
LANDISH “20 QUESTIONS”

“A MODEL YEAR”—DON'T MISS OUR PREVIEW OF
ELITE'S 1989 CALENDAR EXTRAORDINAIRE, FEATUR-
ING THE HOTTEST SUPERMODELS IN THE WORLD

“CONDOMS AND COLLEGIANS”—FIND OUT WHAT
STUDENTS THINK ABOUT PROPHYLACTICS (AND WHAT
THEY DON'T DO WITH THEM) IN AN EXCLUSIVE CAM-
PUS SEX SURVEY—BY JANET LEVER

“PICTURE THIS"—WHAT IF ARISTOTLE CAME TO LIFE
WHILE REMBRANDT WAS PAINTING HIS PORTRAIT?
WITNESS THE MIRACLE OF TRANSFORMATION
WROUGHT BY JOSEPH HELLER
.

“THE MAN WHO WOULD BE COCAINE KING"—CAR-
LOS LEHDER ADMIRED BOTH JOHN LENNON AND
ADOLF HITLER, AND MADE THE FORTUNE LIST OF
RICHEST PEOPLE AT THE AGE OF 38. HE ALSO BUILT
THE VIOLENT GANG SAID TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR
MOST OF THE COCAINE SMUGGLED INTO THE US.
А COMPELLING REPORT BY HOWARD KOHN

BRUCE WILLIS, MOONLIGHTING'S BAD BOY, TALKS
ABOUT CYBILLING RIVALRY, HIS BARROOM-BRAWLING
DAYS AND HOW FATHERHOOD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE
HIS IMAGE IN A RACY PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

PLUS: OUR ANNUAL PRE-SEASON PRO-FOOTBALL
FORECAST BY GARY COLE; “GO TO THE HEAD OF
THE CLASS,” BACK-TO-CAMPUS CATALOG FASHIONS
BY HOLLIS WAYNE; A LOOK AT SOME OF EUROPE'S
MOST INTRIGUING CARS SOON TO HIT OUR STREETS; A
VISIT FROM LITTLE ANNIE FANNY; AND MUCH MORE

THE RICHER TASTE OF MYERS’S RUM
ALWAYS COMES THROUGH.

<= ¡Aaa NVDIVW ez»

If your Rum and Cola tastes like you forgot to add rum, try
Myers’ Original Dark Rum. Its deep, rich Jamaican flavor always
comes through. Of course, Rum and Cola is just one of many drinks that
Myers’ Rum can improve. For our free recipe booklet write Myerss
Rum, FDR Station, RO. Box 1645, New York, NY 10150.
MYERS'S RUM.THE TASTE WON'T MIX AWAY.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.

ULTRA TASTE PERFORMANCE
IN AN ULTRA LICHT ERI

RICHFLAVORUTRALOWTAR
1, 1988 R.J. REYNOLOS TOBACCO CO.

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