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PLAYMATE OF 
THEXEAR | r 


-aw 


ЕРІ 
ви 


INTERVIEW: GREAT fi, 
TALK FROM TV'S 
TALKIEST SHOW, 


MICKEY ROURKE 
AND CARRE OTIS 
ARE ON FIRE IN 


PLUSS MEXICO FOR 
LOVERS, MORSE RACING 
FOR TUN AND PROFIT, 
BIKES FORTHE NINETIES 


06 


y 0300955 0 


RVISION т} 


© Philip Morris inc. 1900 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking 
Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health. 


17 mg "tar;*1.1 mg nicotine 
av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


These men know how to take the checkered flag. 
At Indy, Emerson Fittipaldi took it on the final lap 
last year. And at Indy in 1985, Danny Sullivan took 
it after spinning 360° between turns 1 and 2. 


which is the only race held just for CART' top 
guns, their Chevy-powered Marlboro Penske 
Chassis will be the ones to catch—travelling 
faster than one football field every second, Sure, 
Fittipaldi and Sullivan are teammates. But when 
the green flag drops, ifs every man for himself. 


PLAYBILL 


an. JUNE One of our favorite months. A time of changes, seasonal 
and sensational, when our thoughts naturally turn to the great 
outdoors, to fresh air and sunshine, to fun with friends in exotic 
places. We promise not to get too transported if you promise to 
pay dose attention to an issue chockablock with excitement. 

Start with our newest Playmate of the Year, Reneé Tenison, who 
ushers in a new decade, not to mention a new era; She's the first 
black woman to win that honor. The newly crowned Miss Tenison 
graced our pages as a hopeful in the 35th Anniversary Playmate 
Hunt before appearing on the November 1989 centerfold. She’ 
off to a fast start this year, having been whisked from her Idaho 
home to the Paris studio of intern ly known photographer 
Francis Giacobetti, where her pictorial was shot. We think you'll 
agree that the trip was worth it. 

On the subject of special trips, in Mexico for Lovers, Michael Ten- 
nesen and Articles Editor John Rezek headed south of the border 
and designed five distinctive getaways (illustrated by Nick Backes), 
each to coincide with a different stage of a romantic relationship. 
Relationships, of course, are the special province of Yupp 
Brady Bunch—the talk-talk-talk cast of thirtysomething. And this 
month, all seven of the show's stars and the creators talk to the: 
heart's content in a rare joint Playboy Interview with Contributi 
‚ditor David Sheff. Its really, well, something. 

If you've ever gone to a race track and ended up feeling like 
you were on another planet, we have the horse player right here. 
“The Lemon Drop Kid of The Washington Post, Andrew Beyer, a 
mighty good judge of horseflesh, shows that, in many cases, a fool 
and his money need not necessarily be parted. In Gentlemen, 
Place Your Bets (illustrated by longtime Playboy contributor Le Roy 
Neiman), he shares some untoutably inside track information on 
picking the pon 

If your taste for summer entertainment tends to take you onto 
a faster track, check out the pedal-to-the-metal 20 Questions with 
race-car driver Willy T. Ribbs, by Contributing Editor Walter 
Lowe, Jr. Ribbs, the International Motor Sports Association's for- 
mer driver of the year, of a cult figure to the true racing 
enthusiast, is now driving for Bill Cosby and the Raynor/Cosby 
team on the CART/Indy car circuit. Cosby caught the infamous 
Ribbs victory shuffle after а Trans-Am race and was impressed 
enough to invest a large chunk of change on the man who is the 
first black with a shot at winning this year's Indy 500. 

Not all is fun and games this month. Sex Bullies, by Molly Ivins, 
syndicated columnist for the Dallas Times Herald, is a disturbing 
t attempts to legislate against sex by the almost-every- 
thing crowd. A few years ago, Из partisans packed the Meese 
i In this month's Reporters Notebook: Such Unholy 
Business, Robert Scheer brings us up to date on one of its members, 
Father Bruce Ritter, the troubled founder of Covenant House who 
now finds himself—guilty or innocent—trapped in the same 
noxious atmosphere in which he once so heartily thrived. What 
goes around comes around, it seems. 

So you think June is hot just because it's summer? Think again 
and read up on the early'history of jazz, which gets a close look in 
The Devils Music, part one of an exciting new series of articles, 
Playboys History of Jazz and Rock, by author/educator John Sinclai 
Then check out our fashion, Swimwear 1990, with bodybuilder 
Cory Everson (photographed by Mario Cosilli), and the pictoria 
Wild Orchid, a visit to the set of the very steamy movie (with 
scenes you probably won't get to see on American screens) star- 
Ting Mickey Rourke, Jacqueline Bisset and Carré Otis. 

Our summer fiction keeps up the suspense, as author Lawrence 
Block tosses some sinister turns into th x in Answers to Soldier 
{illustrated by Dennis Nechvatal). Finally, June Playmate Bonnie 
Morino, another finely nurtured product from the Califor 
wine country, and a head-for-the-hills feature on super summe 
cycling round out the overture to what should be an exciting 
summer. The heat's on, Enjoy it! 


к 


ACODETTI 


LOWE NEIMAN 


ЕСТІП 


SINCLAIR 


BLOCK NECHVNTAL 


©1990 Grolsch Importers. Inc. 


Am = 


250 YEARS BEFORE THERE WAS A GERMANY, 
THERE WAS A DUTCH BEER CALLED GROLSCH. 


purely natural, non-pasteurized, uniquely satisfying qualities of Grolsch have not. Frock: 


‘Tastes the same here as it does over there. 


PLAYBOY 


vol. 37, no. 6—јипе 1990 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN‘S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE 
RS 3 
п 
Ea 15 
.. ASA BABER 33 
WOMEN Е ща доза дете CYNTHIA HEIMEL 34 
SPORIS. ....-. EE T Pis DAN JENKINS 36 
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR ...... 39 
THE PLAYBOY FORUM........... €— — раната 48 


REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK: SUCH UNHOLY BUSINESS—opinion. ROBERT SCHEER 55 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: THIRTYSOMETHING—candid conversation................ 57 
ANSWERS TO SOLDIER—fiction ........................ . LAWRENCE BLOCK 78 
WILD ORCHID—pictorial . .... IR e Kas 780 
SEX BULLIES—article sss sees MOLLY IVINS 88 
SWIMWEAR 1990—озћіоп. ................................. HOLLIS WAYNE 90 
PLAYBOY'S HISTORY OF JAZZ AND ROCK—article............ JOHN SINCLAIR 96 
BONNIE RATES—ployboy's ploymate of the month .............. pisa A DE 
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor ............... oe жұға: IM 
GENTLEMEN, PLACE YOUR BETS—orticle. ............. . .... ANDREW BEYER 116 
PEDAL POWER—modern Іміпд............................................. 120 
MEXICO FOR LOVERS—iravel......... esee дара 129 
THE PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR—pictoriol osse 7136 
PLAYBOY COLLECTION—modern living. . 148 
QU QUESTIONS WILLY RIDES) scr rias 152 
PUAYBOY¡ON THE SCENE <option 177 


COVER STORY 

She's $100,000 richer, the proud owner of a new Eagle Talon TSi and our first 
black Playmate of the Year. Kudos to Reneé Tenison, a lady who, at the age of 
21, hos it all. Turn ta page 136 for more af Reneé in a special Playboy pictorial. 
Our caver was praduced by Jacques Trinquart Praductions, styled by Myriam 
Bernard and photagraphed by Francis Giacobetti. Hair and make-up were 
dane by Fobienne Sévigné. The Rabbit stakes his claim os hair apparent. 


The Wrong Driver Is About to Get a Ticket 
(really, it isn’t the policeman’s fault) 


В. displays aspeed, but doesn’t say which FOR YOUR FREE COPY 
car it is clockin OF THIS COMPLETE REPORT 
guess—somet m Courant m 
Our engineers have prepared a full report 
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Cincinnati, Ohio 45249 
Send my ree copy of your private Trafic Radar Report 


Why You Should Have This Report 

Asa motorist, vou should know how radar 
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Call or write for your free report today 

(At Cincinnati Microwave, we make Escort, 
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H 
E] 


| 


JUST A PHONE 
CALL AWAY... 


PLAYMATE ON-THE-AIR Y 

Its bonus time! Hear either June 
Playmate Bonnie Marino or Playmate 
of the Year Renee Tenison reveal their 
turn-ons, tum-offs and much more. And 
you can leave them a personal message. 


THE PARTY JOKE LINE Y 

Laugh along with the red-hot comedy of 
PLAYBOY. Or leave us your joke and 
cam $25 ¡f selected. 


PLAYBOY ADVISOR ON-THE-AIR Y 
Playmates respond to your recorded 
questions. 


THE PLAYBOY MAILBOX Y 
Tell us how you feel about the women of 
PLAYBOY. music, sports and more. 


CALL THE PLAYBOY HOTLINE TODAY 
GET A FREE AUTOGRAPHED PLAYMATE PHOTO AND LETTER! 


-900-740-3311 


A product of Playboy Enterprises, Inc. Orly $2 a minute 


PLAYBOY 


HUGH М. HEFNER 
editor-in-chief 


ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial direcior 
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor 
ТОМ STAEBLER art director 
GARY COLE photography director 
С. BARRY GOLSON executive editor 


EDITORIAL 


ARTICLES: joris REZEK editor; PETER MOORE sen 
dor editor: FICTION: ALICE K TURNER editor: 
MODERN LIVING: DAVID STEVENS senior edi- 
COOPER. ED WALKER associate editors; 
ESA GKOSCH associate editor; WEST 
ЕК RANDALL editor; STAFF:GRETCH 
EN EDUREN senior editor; JAMES R. PETERSEN 
senior staff urtler; BRUCE KLUGER, BARBARA NELLIS, 
KATE NOLAN associate editors; JOHN LUSK. traffic 
coordinator; FASHION: HOLLIS wayne editor; 
WENDY GRAY assistant editor: CARTOONS: 
MICHELLE URRY editor; COPY: ARLENE BOUKAS 
editor; LAURIE ROGERS assistant editor; MARY ZION 
senior researcher; LEE BRAUER, CAROLYN BROWNE 
BARI NASH, REMA SMITH, DEBORA WEISS research 
ers; CONTRIBUTING EDITORS: asa BABER 
DENIS BOYLES, KEVIN COOK. LAURENCE GONZALES. 
LAWRENCE GROBEL. CYNTHIA HEIMEL, WILLIAM. J, 
HELMER. DAN JENKINS, WALTER LOWE, JR. D. KEITH 
MANO. REG POTIERTON. DAVID RENSIN, RICHARD 
RHODES, DAVID SHEFE DAVID STANDISH. BRUCE 
WILLIAMSON (movies), SUSAN MARGOLISWINTER 


ART 

KEKIG POPE managing director: CHET SUSKI, LEN 
WILLIS senior directors; BRUCE HANSEN associate di- 
rector; Jost K. FRIC SHROPSHIRE. assistant 
directors; KRISTIN RORJENER junior director; ANN 
sttbL senior heyine and paste-up artist; BLL BEN 
WAY UL CHAN art assistants; BARBARA HOFFMAN 
administrative manager 


PHOTOGRAPHY 


MARILYN GRABOWSKI us! coast editor; JEFF COMEN 
managing editor; LINDA KENNEY. JAMES LARSON, 
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN associate editors; PATTY 
BEAUDET assistant editor, tOMEO rosar senior 
staff photographer; sveve CONWAY assistant photog 
Topher; DAVID CHAN. RICHARD FEGLEY. ARNY 
FREYTAG, RICHARD IZUI, DAVID MECEY, BYRON 
NEWMAN. STEPHEN МАУВА contributing. pliotogra- 
hers; SHELLEE WELLS stylist; STEVE LEVITT color 
lab supervisor; Jon coss business manager 


MICHAEL PERLIS publisher 
JAMES SPANFELLER associate publisher 


PRODUCTION 
JOHN MASTRO direclor; MARIA МАМО manager; 
RITA JOHNSON assistant manager: JOY JURGETO. 
RICHARD QUARTAROLI, CARRIE HOCK NEY assistants 


CIRCULATION 
BARBARA GUTMAN subscription circulation direc 
tor; ROBERT ODONNHLA. retail marketing and sales 
director, STEVE. COHEN communications director 


ADVERTISING 
JEFFREY D. MORGAN associate ad director; STEVE 


MEISNER midwest manager; JOHN PEASLEY new york 
sales director 


READER SERVICE 
CYNTHIA LACEVSIKICH manager; LINDA STROM. 
MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents 


ADMINISTRATIVE 


EILEEN KENT editorial services manager; MARCIA 
TERRONES rights С? permissions administrator 


PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC. 
CHRISTIE HEFNER chairman, chief executive officer 


aracl 


(©7990 RJ. REYNOLDS TOBACCO CO. 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette 
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


JB in all the right spots. 


J&B Scotch Whisky. Blended and bottled in Scotland by Justerini & Brooks, fine wine and spirit merchants since 1749. 
To send a gift of J&B anywhere in the U.S., call 1-800-528-6148. Void where prohibited. 


JB Blooded Scotch Whisky, 43% Alc by ol, inporned by The Poddingen Comoros, lon NI € 1990. 


JB 


DEAR PLAYBOY 


ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY 
PLAYBOY MAGAZINE 
580 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE 
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611 


TRUMP INTERVIEW 

1 enjoyed the Playboy Interview with 
Donald Trump in the March issue. His no- 
nonsense approach to life and business has 
earned my respect. I also thought it very 
special that Trump appears on your cover 
with one of my favorite Playmates, Brandi 
Brandt. And after careful consideration, 
Гус reached the following conclusion: 1 
would rather have Bi assets in my 
portfolio than ‘Trump’ holdings, substan- 
tial as they are. 


Roger С. Ukele 


Norton, Kansas 


How can someone whose father made 
$20,000,000 and who grew up in a 
room house say he’s self-made? 

Judith Shannon 
Воошоп, New Jersey 


Your Donald Trump interview changed 
me from a critic to a fan. Hell, if he ran for 
political office, 1 would vote for him. 
Maybe if he were in charge of the national 
budget, we might make some progres: 

Al Bannowsky 
Vernal, Utah 


‘The ‘Trump interview confirms my sus- 
picions about the man: incredibly shallow, 
a master of self-delusion and out of touch 
with 99.9 percent of human reality Turn- 
ing inherited money, borrowed money and 
stolen money (a more honest term than tax 
abatements) into fast food for the eyes isn't 
success, it's malignancy 

Here, stripped of buzz words, is how 
the economy operates for such types: We 
buy the chips and they gamble with them 
If they win, they get to keep everything. 
If they lose, we pay them back. Simple. 

Robert Lee Hefter 
Wanamassa, New Jersey 


T want to tell you how much I enjoyed 
Glenn Plaskin's March Playboy Interview 
with Donald Trump. I've read many past 
interviews and have never been so moved 
as by this one. 

Even though I am only 29 years old and 


business for a short fiv 
I can relate to Trump's ideas on the “art of 
the deal.” Accepting that one cannot possi- 
bly work with or please everyone is an im- 
portant realization in the business world. 
And knowing that this lesson has to be 
learned in big business as well as small has 
given me the motivation to look beyond 
what I have and strive for more. 
Thanks for the shot of adrenaline 

Mark R. Matthews 
Aurora, Colorado 


have been i 


ROCKING RACISM 

Having read Dave Marslis prattling in 
Rocking Racism (Playboy, March), 1 hope 
you'll allow a retort to his unconscionable 
generalities, knee-jerk reactionism and lib- 
eral posing. 

Vernon Reid may very well have thought 
that the audience of 70,000 cheered Axl 
Roses insipidities, but 1 was in that audi- 
ence and I would be amazed if there were 
more than 1000 boncheads egging him on. 
To a black musician of Reid's excellence, 
1000 antiblack sentiments must be very 
disheartening, especially after he just 
got through playing his heart out. All I 
can think to offer in return is that it would 
also be easy to find 1000 white-hating 
blacks. Its poor counterpoint, but thats 
the kind of backwater mud ball were liv- 
ing on, Vernon. 

Mare 8. Tucker 
Manhattan Beach, Califo 


1 wonder if Dave Marsh (flag-bearer for 
the music industry's oppressed) has ever 


used the term blue-eyed soul. Isnt th 
> 


ra 
Ken Schroede 
Rock Island, Ill 


n the March 
„ for the most 


Dave Marshs article 
Playboy, Rocking Racism, 
part, right on the mark 

he tearing down of the color harrier 
will occur only when the people who run 
record companies, r. stations and 
MTV stop looking for commercial pote 
tial and acts that 


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PLAYBOY 


12 


have something to say. That has alway 
been the mark of true success, whether it 
be Leadbelly, Bob Dylan, Bruce Spring- 
steen, Tracy Chapman or Living Colour. 
Mark Schnabel 
Newton, Kansas 


BACK TO THE FUTURE, STEALTH-WISE 
Thanks for extending a sneak peek into 

1991 in Decade of the Driver (Playboy, 

March). While we were pleased that you 


include the 1991 Dodge Stealth rendering 


in your feature, we thought your readers 
might prefer to see this model in the flesh. 
Scott Sweeney 
Dodge Public Relations 
Highland Park, Michigan 


BIG DEAL IN PARADISE 

As someone in the process of moving to 
Costa Rica, possibly near Golfito, I enjoyed 
Contributing Editor Reg Potterton’s article 
Big Deal in Paradise (Playboy, March) and 
thought it funny; however, it represents 
the ultimate in “ugly American” thinking. 

Potterton travels to Costa Rica without 
bothering to learn a few Spanish phrases 
or reading a book such as Beatrice Blake 
and Anne Becher's The New Key to Costa 
Rica. He makes fun of The Tico Times, 
which often carries artides by Americans 
discussing the advantages and disadvan- 
tages of living there. He wants Costa Rica 
to serve his interests and to provide an en- 
vironment like that of Chicago. 

Costa Rica has problems, but it rightly 
takes great pride in its reputation as a 
peaceful democracy and in its spending 
income on education and medical care 
rather than on tanks and obsolete jet 
fighters. Costa Rica has developed pro- 
grams for retired people and investors 
who want to share in its paradise, but Costa 
Rica is Costa Rica and not a Latino theme 
park, 


Sam Enslow 
Fort Lauderdale, 


rida 


Big Deal in Paradise, by Reg Potterton, 
would be hilarious if it were an accurate 
portrayal of Costa Rica and its beautiful 
people. Costa Rica is an unspoiled par- 
adise whose inhabitants are not the pover- 
ty-stricken, half-literate boobs Potterton 
gests they are, and its literacy rate far 
exceeds that of the U.S. Drug and gang vi- 
olence kill more people in one weekend in 
L.A. than killer bees do in an entire year in 
Costa Rica. More than 30,000 Americans 


live and own property in Costa Rica and 
none, to my knowledge, have lost a square 
inch to squatters. I would be angry at Pot- 
terton for scaring away needed US. invest- 
ment capital except for the fact that our 
iends from ‘Tokyo are buying everything 
in sight at ten cents on the colone. 

Ron Greek 

Coto de Caza, California 

Reg Potterton, who is contemplating buy- 

ing а time-share condo in Detroit, wishes il to 
be known that he does not regard Costa Ri- 
cans as poverty-stricken, half-literate boobs, a 
description that, Potterton claims, accurately 
describes many of his living relatives. 


FREEDOM TO BURN 

My reaction to Freedom to Burn, an оріп- 
ion piece by Robert Scheer in the March is- 
sue, is that it was indeed unfortunate that 
our shortsighted Supreme Court Justices 
struck down the Texas law banning dese- 
cration of our flag, 

In my opinion, the First Amendment 
does not include in freedom of speech the 
right to destroy the nation’ flag, The flag is 
an extension of the Constitution, a rallying 
point. Millions һауе risen to its call, 
life and limb in its hour of need. Scheer 
sults its image by referring to it as a 

It is the interpretation of the far-left lib- 
erals of this country that has weakened the 
moral fiber of our Constitution, resulting 
in the decay of our society today; 
drugs and crime. 

Scheer, please do not try to burn the flag 
of our country in my presence. Г am too 
old to spend my remaining years in 
confinement. То President Bush, “For- 
ward, march.” 


Harvey L. Jones 
Seminole, Florida 


ANSON MOUNT SCHOLARSHIP 
This is to acknowledge with apprecia- 

tion Playboy's $5000 contribution to the 
University of Georgia general scholarship 
fund in recognition of Alec Kessler’s win- 
ning this year’s Anson Mount Scholar/Ath- 
lete Award, The University of Georgia and 
our athletic program are deeply grateful 
for Playboy's continuing interest in recog- 
nizing outstanding student athletes for 
their accomplishments in the classroom 
and on the court or the playing field. Alec 
Kessler is a most deserving recipient and 
we are confident that all will be proud of 
his achievements after his playing days are 
over. Alec, too, is most grateful for this 
recognition and adds his thanks to those 
expressed by the university. 

Lee R. Hayley 

Associate Athletic Director 

University of Georgia 

Athens, Georgia 


HEIMEUS “GAY BLADES” 

From reading Cynthia Heimel's Women 
column titled “Gay Blades” in the March 
issue, one reaches the conclusion that she 
believes all of your readers are straight 


Playboy for many years and I cannot be the 
only gay male who reads your magazine. 

I take strong exception, however, to 
Heimel's description of gay men as being 
“easily excited into lust, willing and able to 
have sex with those they regard with indif- 
ference or even hold in contempt.” And 
how dare she presume to speak about what 
gay life was like in the Seventies? | was 
there and living it, was she? The mistaken 
belief in Heimel's column about all gay 
men's being uncontrollably promiscuous is 
neither cute nor funny: It serves to perpet- 
uate a false and potentially dangerous ho- 
mophobic view of all gay men. 

Steven C. Irving 
, Provincetown, Massachusetts 


Cynthia Heimel, in her silly Women 
column titled "Gay Blades," perpetuates 
the myth that gay equals promiscuous and 
that it’s promiscuity that has led to the 
AIDS crisis. 

Proportionately gays are no more 
promiscuous than their straight brothers. 
It is one of the ways we express ourselves 
sexually; and it is sex that has spread the 
disease—not promiscuity. 

Charles Glasberg 
Brooklyn, New York 


Heimel’s reply: 

1 can understand that а heterosexual writ- 
ing about homosexuality can make a gay per- 
son sensitive. However, it is my strong belief 
that all men—certainly not just gay men— 
are innately more promiscuous than women. 
They don't usually act on this promiscuity, be- 
cause they are socialized, This is exactly what 
I said in my column. 


SOMETHING IN COMMON 

Thought you'd like to see this photo of 
the most memorable experience that has 
resulted from my posing for Playboy 
(Working Girl, November). My husband 


and I had dinner with someone else once 
featured in the magazine, President Jim- 
my Carter, and his wife, Rosalynn, while 
they were in our area on a fishing trip. 
Margaret Nelson 
Grants Pass, Oregon 


Can't wait write? Record your own 
“Dear Playboy” “letier to the editor” on our 
national Playboy Holline. Call 1-900-740- 
3311 today! Only two dollars per minute. 


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1990 Cut 


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PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS 


RABBIT DIPLOMACY 


Whatis it that has changed the course of 
eastern European political history in 1989 
and 1990? Glasnost? Perestroika? Or, just 
possibly, Playboy? Take a look at this 
startling chronology of some Eastern bloc 
developments, including Playboy's recent 
activities there. You be the judge 

November 1989: Playboys German edi- 
tion, featuring American Playmate Sandy 
Greenberg, is available to West Berliners 
but not to East Berliners. Fast German 
antle the Berlin Wall and flock 


youths disi 
to the West 

December 1080: Playboy launches its 
Hungarian edition. Not only Hungary but 
Czechoslovakia, Bulgaria 
make dramatic moves for freedom. 

February 1990: Playhoy publishes The 
Women of Russia pictorial. Mikhail Gor- 
bachev proposes an end to single-party 
Communist rule in the U.S.S.R 
courages, ahem, a more open society 

We assume tomorrow's history texts will 
present these events in a slightly altered 
form, but as Playboy aficionados, well know 
1 story, won't we? 


Romania and 


and сп- 


the rea 


NEOTRAD FAD 


Progress is fine if you're a pilgrim or 
General Electric, but for young jazzmen in 
the Nineties, turning back the dock is the 
highest calling. While the rest of the world 
prepares for the year 2000, jazz's hottest 
young talents yearn for the years of their 
births 

"Ben Webster, Chu Berry, Coleman 
Hawkins—I study these guys by learning 
their solos" tenor-sax man Branford 
Marsalis told us. “I mimic them just like I 
learned to mimic Ronald Reagan.” His lat- 
est album, Tito Jecpy, is a study of jazz's 
Pleistocene era, with due homage paid to 
blucs, romantic ballads and that old-time 
religion, swing. 

The Marsalis brothers—Wynton, Bran- 
ford and producer/trombonist Delfeayo— 
are jazz leading practitioners of neotradi- 
tionalism—the term used to describe this 
curiously backward-looking trend. Those 
young men, as scrious as PC.B.s who have 


learned their ABCs (Adderley, Bird, 
Coltrane), acknowledge their debt by play- 
ing music based on the three B's- 
ballads and bebop—with a dazzling tech- 
nical v 


blues, 


tuosity. Its as though they were 
asking, Who says jazz must evolve? 

Marcus Roberts, pianist in Wynton 
Marsalis’ band, says that they play stand- 
ards to pay tribute to the people who could 
really play this music—Ellington, Monk, 
Parker. His solo disc, Deep in the Shed, 
boasts six blues numbers ranging from a 
classic 12-bar Delta blues to another with 
adventurous harmonies springing from a 
delta considerably to the east —that of the 
Euphrates. 


The English ten 
is firmly in the neotrad camp with his obvi- 
ous debts to John Coltrane and Sonny 
Rollins. On his latest, A Visions Tale, pro- 
duced by Delfeayo and featuring the 
Marsalis brothers’ father, pianist Ellis, Pine 
gives a nod to Rollins with his rendition of 
Гт ап Old Cowhand from the Rio Grande. 
Of course, you dont have to be named 
Marsalis, play in any of their bands or 
come from New Orleans to be one of jazz's 


1 player Couruicy Pine 


neotrads. The Harper brothers—drum- 
mer Winard and trumpeter Philip—come 
from Baltimore, but their album Remem 
brance owes a major stylistic debt to trum 
peter Clifford Brown, as 
Cannonball Adderley. Welcome 10 bebop 
heaven! 


well as to 


THE SOUL OF AN OLD MACHINE 


OK. so you've never looked at a pencil 
ind wondered how they get the graphite 
inside the wooden husk. Nor have you ever 
said. “Gee, I wonder whose idea that was in 
the first place?” Neither had we until The 
Pencil: A History of Design and Circum- 
stance, by Duke engineering professor 
Henry Peuoski, crossed our desk. 

А quick breeze through the 340-page, 
5 tome yielded the following details: 

The word pencil comes from the Latin 
penicillus, a brush formed with animal 
tails. 

French artist Toulouse 
himself, “I am a pencil." 
Henry David Thoreau made pencils. 

Lincoln is said to have written the 
Gettysburg Address with a German pencil. 

In 1872, the tool became user-friendly 
when the Eagle Pencil Company patented 
a pencil with an eraser attached. That was 
before we could blame our mistakes on 
computers. 


$2 


autrec said of 


CHOLESTEROL: THE REAL STORY 


We should all try to minimize cholesterol 
levels, right? Thars why we've read every 
one of those front-page newspaper stories 
about which foods cut cholesterol. So how 
come we still dont know what to cat? First 
eggs were out and oats were in. Then egg 
whites were OK and oats were out. And 
now they tell us there are two kinds of 
cholesterol levels and that exercise either 
does or doesn't lower them. What's going 
on here? 

With all due respect to the medical es- 


tablishment and its widely demonstrated 


sure-footedness, we've come up with our 
own list of cholesterol boons and banes. Tò 
confusion, eliminated all 
food right off the bat. Food, clearly, is 


reduce we've 


15 


16 


RAW DATA 


Paul Dickson tries 
to make sense out of 
our flawed universe. 
He started The Mur- 
phy Center for the 
Codification of Hu- 
man and Organiza- 
tional Law for this 
purpose and discov- 
ered that rules arc 
where you find ther 
And he finds them ev- 
erywhere, Thousands 
of people send mate- 
rial to the center (Box 
80, Garret Park, 
Maryland 20766). Hi 
The New Official 
Rules (Addison Wes- 
ley) is the third col- 
lection of precepts 
gleaned from his re- 
search. And just in 
time. We were geuing 
a little tired of break- 
ing the old rules, 

Adams’ Law: 
1. Women don't know 
what they want; they don't like what 
they have. 2. Men know very well what 
they want; having got it, they begin to 
lose interest.—a. w apams, Magdalen 
College, Oxford, England 

Buffett's Poker Principle: If you've 
been in the game 30 minutes and you 
don't know who the patsy is, youre the 
patSy—WaRREN E. BUFFETT, Chairman, 
Berkshire Hathaway, Inc., quoted in 
The New York Times, April 5, 1988; 
from Joseph C. Goulden 

DeQuoy’s Observation: Some of 
the world's best work has been done 
by people who didnt feel very well 
that day—GLENNA DEQUOY, New York, 
New York 

Epps’s Elevator Law: A crowded el- 
evator smells different to a short per- 
son.—sunpy EPPS; from Don Schofield, 
Charleston, South Carolina 

Helms’s First Rule for Keeping 
Secrets: If you want to keep something 
secret, don't write и down.—former 
CIA director RICHARD HELMS, quoted in 
The Economist, April 12, 1980; from 
Joseph C. Goulden 

Inskip’s Rules: 1. Don't sweat the 
small stuff. 2. Ws all small stufi.— 


watch 


April 21, 1986 


McGuire’s Dis! 


When a guy takes off his coat, 
he’s not going to fight. When a 
guy takes off his wrist watch, 
outl-sportscaster AL 
MCGUIRE, quoted by Norman 
Chad in The Washington Post, 


DR RICHARD INSKIP, 
director, American 
Academy of Family 
Physicians. This set of 
rules has also been at- 
tributed to University 
of Nebraska cardiolo- 
gist Robert Eliot. 

Kissingers Dis- 
covery: The nice 
thing about being a 
celebrity is that when 
you bore people, they 
think it's their fault.— 
HENRY KISSINGER, 
quoted by Bob Swift 
in The Miami Herald, 
January 3, 1987 

McAfee’s Law of 
Physical Material 
Balance: Matter can 
be neither created 
nor destroyed. Полу- 
ever, it can be lost— 
E RAY MCAFEE 

Morley’s Credo: 
My theology, briefly, is 
that the universe was dictated but not 
signed.—CHRISTOPHER MORLEY; from 
John Ohliger 

Nestor's Law: Anything worth do- 
ing makes а Mess.—SIBYL W NESTOR; 
from Bonnie Nestor Johnson, Oak 
Ridge, Tennessee 

Quigley's Law: Whoever has any au- 
thority over you, no matter how small, 
will attempt to use it.—anonymous 

Quinn’s Understanding: Econo- 
mists carry their projections out to two 
decimal points only to prove they have 
a marvelous sense of humor.—JANE 
BRYANT QUINN, quoted by Robert D. 
Specht in An Expectation of Days 

Sauls Screwing Saw: When fasten- 
ing down something held by several 
screws, don't tighten any of the screws 
until all of them are in place.—m. sAUL 
NEWMAN; from Steve Stine 

Wearing Hats, Law of: Never wear 
a hat that has more character than you 
do.—hatmaker MICHAEL HARRIS; from 
Bill Spivey, San Francisco, California 

Zais's First Postulate: As long as 
you retain the capacity to blush, your 
immortal soul is in no particular dan- 
вег--вщлот zais, Corvallis, Oregon 


ction: 


bad for you. Here's the true story: 
raise cholesterol levels; golf and oral sex 
lower them. You get the picture. For your 
edification, here's our list 


es 


RAISES CHOLESTEROL LEVELS 
The Government 
Shopping malls 

Traffic jams 


Day-Timer 
Sunday New York 7 


LOWERS CHOLESTEROL LEVELS 
Golf 

Beaches 

Ferraris 

Stock splits 


at the Grammys 


Spain 
20120 

Armani suits 
Selbassurance 


Sports dailies 
Morning sex 
PRIVATE PEPPERS 


2% our alarming medical fact of the 
ntists already know that vagi- 


nal self stimulation produces an analgesic 
effect. In other words, a woman's threshold 


much as 43.8 perce 
during masturbation. However, in а new 
set of tests, scientists have discovered that 
ing a lot of hot chili peppers virtually 
n-killing effect of mastur- 
archers speculate that the phe- 
nomenon has something to do with 
the stuff that makes hot chili 
и. 

Bur did it occur to any of those scientists, 
as they were sitting around feeding chili 


peppers to urbating women and 
pinching the: ids, that the hot-chili- 
pepper reaction may have an interesting 


So far, the effect has 


il compe 


PHONY FRIENDS 


The Di -Insult hotline is a new 24- 
hour phone service that delivers a 
stream of verbal abuse. Just dial 


ing came on. It was the Sultan. He laid into 
us but good: “You're so fat your car has 
ı hate air fr 
ene everything you've 
worked lor. . so ugly I heard that 
blind people put their hands over their 
guide dogs’ eyes. . . 7 He told us we were 
low. He told us we were scum. And we 


ТЫ ESTARS 5 


“Y 


10 BOLDLY GO “` 
WHERE NO MAN 


HAS GONE BEFORE: 


The first pewter re-creation ever author- 
ized by Paramount Pictures of the most 
famous starship of all time. 

The Starship Enterprise.” Symbol of the eternal 
quest to explore new worlds. 

Now, the starship that carried Kirk, Spock 
and Uhura tothe far reaches of the galaxy can 
be yours. Announcing the first fully authorized 
pewterre-creation of the starship that has 
Inspired millions. 


AUTHORIZED BY PARAMOUNT PICTURES. 


The Franklin Mint 


Aglow with 24-karat gold 
electroplate and sparkling with 
crystals, the Starship. 

ls shown smaller than actual size 
of approximately 10° in length. 


Precisely reproduced with assistance from 
STARTREK” creator Gene Roddenberry. 

Sculptured and handcrafted in fine hand- 
finished pewter. The main sensor and navi- 
ational deflector glow with 24-karat gold 
electroplate. The top propulsion units blaze 
with fiery red crystal cabochons. 

Available only on planet Earth, and only from 
The Franklin Mint. 

Priced at $195. 


AUTHENTICATEO BY GENE RODOENBERRY. 


Signature 


Address 


City, State, Zip 
12135- 57 


18 


YO, CONSONANTS 


don't forget—there are 26 letters in the alphabet 


Political satirisicomedian Auron Free- 
man, а radio commentator and “MacNeill 
Lehrer NewsHour™ essayist, addresses a 
pressing contemporary African-American 
problem. 


vas growing up on the West 
ayo, fluency in the kings 
English and a decent vocabulary would 
get you praised in school and punched 
out on the streets. In school, I was “such 
a well-spoken young man.” Back in the 
neighborhood, I was a “white-talking 
sucker.” 

In theory, education and its accompa- 


nying improvement of articulation 
were achievements devoutly to be 
wished. However, on the street, it was 
not cool to speak too well—unless one 
was a minister. 

Examining this paradoxical phe- 
nomenon of black images, I have real- 
ized that the rule—the defining 
aesthetic—of black culture is the op- 
ional use of consonants: The word is 
cold, but African Americans must say 
col’, Every middle-class African Am 
can I know has gone through a period 
of depression, feeling that he or she is 
k enough. Hence, I spent my 
n year at New York University 
feeling guilty that 1 did not talk like 
that great icon of African-American 
culture, Jimmie Walker. It is almost as 
articulation of consonants were 
traitorous to the race: Yeah, man, we are 
а vowel people 

Those 21 breathless letters, by their 
presence or absence—especially at the 
ends of words—have defined the black 
aesthetic in the minds of both whit 
nd blacks for a century. Consonants 
are what make some of us recognizably 
black on the phone and others able 


telephonically to "p 

But there are other advantages. 
Strong consonants at the end of one's 
words mark an individual as not being 
one of those TV black people who men- 
ace old ladies on the cop shows. Rather, 
consonants suggest those urbane 
African Americans who, while they eat 
chiuerlings and collard greens, рор 
them into the microwave first. 

Articulate black people run afoul of 
white America's stereotypes of us and 
history shows that whatever opinion 
white people have of us we tend to 
share. The 
defines our place. 
When white writers 
want to create a black 
sound for TV shows 
and movies, they sim- 
ply reinforce the old 
stereotype by taking 
standard English and 
climinating the con- 
sonants. “Where are 
you going, brother?” 
becomes “Whe you 
goin! bro?" 

We need new 
stereotypes. And now 
is an excellent time 
lor articulate black 
people to create 
them. Therefore, | 
herewith announce 
the creation of the 
М.А.А.А.А.С.Р, the National Associa- 
tion for the Advancement of African- 
American Consonant Pronouncers. We 
must join together, stand up and speak 
out for our linguistic rights. Envision, if 
you will, an ebony Edwin Newman, a 
William E Buckley, fr, with soul, a 
nation of James Joneses. 

I cant wait. In the future, our conso- 
nants will be so crisp and cleanly 
defined, and our vocabularies so ex- 
pansive, that we will intimidate white 
people with our language skills. Eve 
tually, we will be to American Englis 
what the Irish are to Br English— 

5 unchallenged masters 

_ Someday, some white man will be 

somewhere in Апи 

ar one black 

to another, “I am flattered by yor 
tempt at reer nt, but Lam 
ctorily employed as corporate 
comptroller; it would be anathema for 
me to eschew my fiduciary responsibili- 
ty therein.” 

And the white man will take a swig of 
his beer, snort and mumble to himself, 
“I never did understand ihat black 
ish.” 


feared that everything he said was true. 

We needed to hear a sympathetic voice, 
so we dialed 1-900-EGO-LIFT, the pricey 
Dial-a-Compliment hotline run by the 
same company. The machine asked us to 
l status. We did. 
А sexy woman started telling us how great 
we were. She told us we were great in bed. 
She told us we were handsome but modest. 
She told us she'd just have to take a num- 
ber and get in line with all the other beau- 
tiful women who wanted to be near us. 
And you know what? Everything she said 
was true. 


ADVANCES TO THE REAR 


It seems that cosmetic surgeons won't be 
happy until they perfect the 100-percent- 
plastic woman. The latest rage: implants 
for buttocks and calves, Plastic surgeons 
are hoping that silicon-rounded butts and 
plastic-insert-enhanced legs will become as 
popular as now-routine breast implants. 

But some doctors won't do derrières. 
Consider the delicate position of Dr. 
Adrien Aiache, a Beverly Hills cosmetic 
surgeon. “I had an office full of female im- 
personators who wanted buttock im- 
plants,” he laments. “And I was af 
were going to chase the other p 
So now I send all my buttocks to Ar- 
gentina.” 


PROMOTION OF THE MONTH 


If you dont own a video store, you prob- 
ably missed this one. Prism Entertainment 
has been pushing a video called Dial Help, 
billed as an erotic thriller. Ws about a high- 
hion model who is relentlessly pursued 
by, well, woman's best friend. 

“She cant call tor help,” warns the 
promotional copy, “because her pursuer 
You've got it—the telephone, all 
telephones, “Evil, angered souls have pos- 
sessed the lines,” continues the ad, “and 
they're reaching out to kill everyone. 

Just to sweeten the deal for video buyers, 
Prism has offered an incentive: Order two 
copies of Dial Help and get a free tele- 
phone. Prism didn't indicate whether it was 
of the pathological-murderer variety. 


ALMOST BLUE 


Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee sells for 
bout $30 a pound (see Potpourri, page 
180). Why so steep? The fact that the 
Japanese have a voracious yen for it, in ad- 
dition to Hurricane Gilbert's near decima- 
tion of Jamaican coffee plantations, has 
created a tight market. 
A sly Chicago coffee г 
come up with the zircon version 


eter has now 
F- 


maican Blue Mountain-style blend—for 
$4.50 a pound. We tried it and thought it 
beat out the original. You can get it 


shipped to you from the Coffee and Tea 
Exchange in Chicago (312-528-2241). 


WA 


“Го here to tell you about a Western % 
ve 


Enjoy it for 10 days risk-free. If 
you're not delighted, simply return it 
within 10 days for a full refund. Or keep 
it and pay just $4.95 — $25.00 off the 
regular price. 

After that, you'll receive a new 
videocassette in the series about every 
four to six weeks. Each cassette comes 
in a colorful collectors slipcase with 
nating facts about the series and 
the production. 


..-best thing of its kind thats come 
along. It's honest. It's adult. It's 
realistic. 


7 


ҮЗЕ 4 


Thats how, іп 1955, John Wayne 
introduced the premiere episode 
of the Western that would become 
the most popular TV series of all 
time, GUNSMOKE. 

Now you can see for yourself why 
America tuned into Dodge City every 
week for 20 years to see good triumph 
over evil. Because GUNSMOKE is now 
available for your home video collection 
— exclusively from CBS Video Library! 


Enjoy old friends and dozens of 
celebrity guest stars 


In each GUNSMOKE adventure, you'll 
meet up with crusty old Doc Adams... 
spirited saloon keeper Miss Kitty Russell 
slow-talking deputies Chester and 
Festus...and, of course, the legendary 
Mati Dillon, played by James Arnes». 
You'll also delight at the big stars who 
GUNSMOKE, “Matt Gets It” — featuring ass thrush Dodge City: Bette Davis, 


1 Richard Dreyfuss, Jon Voi 
the introduction by John е. Plus J 


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NELSON GEORGE 


AS THE YOUNGEST and most musically ас 
complished member of the Isley Brothers, 
Ernie Isle italized that veteran group 
in the early Seventies. With the Brothe: 
and later with the Isley-Jasper-Isley band, 
rnie helped craft a string of high-quality 
songs. So on his High Wire (Elektra), whe 
you hear the guitar-driven funk of Back to 
Square One and High Wire ov the mid-tem 
po rhythin of Song for the Muses and Fare 
Thee Well, Fair-Weather Friend, it sounds 
like previous Isley-involved projects. Is 
that bad? No. It means very polished but 
not very exciting music 

A more engaging use of familiar musi 
cal ideas is Lisa 
ta). White British soul singer 
along with co-producers Andy Morris and 
Тап Devaney, succeeds by putting Seven- 
ies instrumentation and arrangements. 
over fresh Nineties beats. What Did I Do to 
You? has a high-hat driven rhythm but- 
tressed by a bass line with recurring string 
and flute parts that recall Jerry Hey’s horn 
arrangements for Michael Jackson's Off the 
Wall. The hyperactive bass, brassy horn: 
and big-string sound of Live Together, all 
wrapped around a tinny drum machine 
and probrotherhood lyric, suggest Gamble 
and Ний meeting the hip-hop rapper 
Marley Marl. But Affection isn't beauutul 
Just because its clever. Fact is, Stansfield is 
the best white soul singer since ‘Teena 
Maric. Husky, strident, moody, percussive 
all describe this winsome woman's chops. 
Stansfield is one of a new legion of Brits 
enriching black pop by blending a histori 
ans zeal with a strong musical feel. 


CHARLES М. YOUNG 


“Well, do you remember Rick Astley?/ 
He had a big fat hit, it was ghastly” rates as 
my favorite rhyme of the year so far. Nick 
Lowe wrote it and sang it on Party of One 
(Reprise), which is Lowes most exuberant 
effort in many years. I'm guessing he got 
inspired by reuniting with his former 
Rockpile bandmate Dave Edmunds as pro- 
ducer. Edmunds could no more let а song 
drag than Donald пр could be hum- 
ble. Pm 


ng that Ry Cooder con- 
id 


ing more than guitar 
-dubs. 
Cooder reveals a hilarious yet affe 
sense of the eccentricity in folk m 
real/somet 


In his own wor 


understands rock and roll 
grew out of rock-a-billy; that 
folk music created by some of Ате 
most flamboyant eccentrics. Lowe's own 
eccentric concerns range from the un- 
known victim of a London subway fire to 
building an ark out of a 747 and winning: 


Stansfield: Seductive British soul. 


Disco spins again 
and down under comes up 
with New Age funk. 


т. And, of course, he sings 
with sufficient enthusiasm to 
convince you there's something new to say 
on the subject. It's hard to think of three 
guys Га rather hear together in the same 
band than Lowe, Edmunds and Cooder. 

Hard but not impossible. Four guy: 
like for similar, if not identical. reasons 
the Del Lords. Leader and songwriter 
Scott Kempner is far more serious than 
Lowe, preferring Springsteenian depth of 
feeling to ironic distance. On Lovers Who 
Wonder (Enigma), Kempner sings about ro- 
antic love in ай its stages and doesnt let 
you off the hook with a laugh. This is mu- 
sic for direct confrontation with your feel- 
ings. As a band, the Del Lords share the 
same roots with Lowe. They see rock and 
roll as fast, electric folk m ith hooks 
you could hang a side of beef on. Virtuosos 
enamored of simplicity, they can swing like 
the Stones and their gui 
fuckin’ bees. 


ROBERT CHRISTGAU 


Disco never died. It just suffered 
commercial reverses that returned it to 
hard-core dancers—the gays and the dark- 
skinned youths who'd demanded it to I 
gin with. Even as the funk-light rhythms 
of U.K. new pop recaptured the charts in 
the mid-Fighties, more specialized dance 
music was evolving in both America and 
urope. Under the Chicago-based rubr 
house,” it has dominated club lite since 


the mid-Eighties without anyone but the 
subculture’s notic 

Always too abstractly dı 
make г dent, this music finally 
gota U ring late last year when Tech- 
notronie’s Pump Up the Jam turned novelty 
smash. Strongly reminiscent of Marshall 
Jeffersons House Music Anthem, the ішпе 
was produced in London by Jo Bog: 
Kingpin of the influential Belgian da 
scene, and features Zairian-born Ya Kid K 
Some criticized her more-than-droning, 
less-than-tuneful urban drawl, but I say it's 
punky and perfect, one highlight of Pump 
Up the Jam the Album (SBK), which is domi- 
nated by variations on the 
you like Technotronic on the car radio, it 


nce specific to 


GUEST SH@ 


Bia Daddy Kane worship Sam Cooke 
Kanes own influence is beginning to 
build, thanks to such tracks as "Aint 
No Half-Steppin’” and "Smooth Oper- 
alor,” in addition to his work on Quin 
cy Joness smash LP “Back on the 
Block.” While laying down his third 
album, Kane took a break to talk about 
RCAS CD anthology “The Best of Sam 
Cooke.” 

“It took some aging lor me to 
really understand why Sam Cooke 
is so great. There's his style, which is 
truly smooth and cool—he takes 
his fime with cach song. The groove 
5 mellow, the voice is mellow—his 
pipes weren't real strong, so he 
never tried to use them rough ог 
aggressive. This compilation is a 
great intro for new Sam Cooke 
fans, because it has all the hits— 
Cupid, Wonderful World, Having a 
Party, You Send Me and (1 Luve You) 
For Seutinental Reasons. You also 
get less well-known cuts such as his 
two versions of Summertime, Cooke 
influences me because my style is 
smooth, 100—1 don't like to get hy- 
per; I like every word to be heard. 
Um also inspired by his vocabulary 
his lyrics. Rap or 
classic soul, it’s all music. And every 
musician is looking for his own 
sound. Sam Ci found his, no 
doubt about t 


Hubcap king Mike Burcz 
turns chrome into gold. 


He also prefers 
Christian Brothers Brandy. 


Mike Burcz, former hot dog vendor. 
Owner, Hubcap Heaven, 
Philadelphia, PA 


Chistian Brothers. 


When you know better. 


FAST TRACKS 


OCKMETER 


Ernie Isley 
High Wire 


Nick Lowe 
Porty of One 


Blue Sky Mining 


Lisa Stansfield 
Affection 


Technotronic 
Pump Up the Jam 


| 
| 
Midnight Oil | 
| 
| 


CAIL ANY VEGETABLE DEPARTMENT: Paul 
McCortney, Chrissie Hynde, Tears for Fears 
and Howard Jones are reportedly setting 
up a Live Aid-style concert in London 
this summer to promote vegetarian- 
ism. That's showbiz? 

REELING AND ROCKING: Aaron Neville will 
play a bartender in Zandalee, starring 
Nicolos Cage and Judge Reinhold. In oth- 
er Neville news, Ivan Neville joins South- 
side Johnny to record songs for Captain 
America, a movie based on the M 
Comics cha 
look for music by k. d. lang 
the Dick Tracy sound track. . 
stantine Conte, the coproducer of the 48 
HRS. sequel, is developing a movie for 
Whitney Houston called Disappearing 
Acts. . .. Dan Hicks (former leader of the 
Hot Licks) sings original tunes in Class 
Action, starring Gene Hackman and Mary 
Elizabeth Mastrantonio. 

NEWSBREAKS: Exactly how hip are you? 
Rhino Records has just released a four- 
album (or four-cassette) Jack Kerouac 
Collection, the beat poet/novelist’s com- 
plete recorded works. Like, check 
out. . . . The JVC Video Anthology of 
World Music and Dance (distributed 
by Rounder Records) can be had for 
$1980. и includes 30 video cassettes 
covering 500 performances from Asia, 
Africa, the Middle East, Europe, the 
Americas, the Soviet Union and Oce- 
аша... . Yes, thats Martin Short and 
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar with Young MC 
on the video of the ever-popular Louie 
Louie Пот the movie Coupe de 
Ville. . . . Living Colour is working on 
album two. . . . Booker Т. and the MG's 
reunion tour will produce an album of 
new tunes, eventually. Mick Hucknall 
hopes to record a jazz album before 
going back into the studio h Simply 
Red. .. . Like brother Michael, Janet Jack- 
son is establishing a scholarship for the 
United Negro College Fund. Don 


..D. Con- 


Henley says there is more to an Eagles re- 
union than money. “If I didn't think we 
could still be creative and productive, 
and that working together could be 
fairly pleasant, then there is simply not 
enough money in the world to get u 
back together again,” said Don, who is 
writing some stuff with Glenn Frey as a 
starting point. . . . Roger Corman's newly 
formed TV division is developing a sit- 
com called Summer of Love, а nostalgic 
and comedic look back at San Francisco 
in 1967... PBS will air a documentary 
this summer about John Hammond, the 
legendary record executive who discov- 
ered Billie Holiday, Count Basie, Bob Dylan 
and Bruce Springsteen, among othe! 
After the show airs, it will have a video 
distribution. . . . When Madonna 
auditioned dancers for her world tour, 
the ad copy read, “Wimps and wanna- 
Без need not apply" . . . Gary Busey is 
taking time out from his movie career 
to give recording another shot. . . 
After an unsuccessful Jefferson 
reunion. Marty Balin is іп Nashville 
recording with Hank Williams, Jr. 
"Those of you who want to do some- 
thing about your state legislature's re- 
sponse to the PM.R.C. ery for laws on 
record labeling may send three dollars 
10 "Rock & Roll Confidential" Box 
15052, Long Beach, California 90815, 
for a copy of “You've Got a Right to 
Rock." Don't just get mad, get with it 
and write to your congressman. 
Finally a piano teacher in Indiana 
has written a college paper 
Music Matter to Ani 
Evans played a variety of music to two 
groups of dairy cows. One group gave 
more milk listening to Beethoven, 
the other gave more listening to Kiss's 
Love Gun. Even lousy schola ald 
call those results inconclusive. Back to 
milking machines.  —nannara NELLIS 


wont get tired when you take it home. 
And you can dance to it. 

In the wake of Exposé and the Cover 
the New York trio Seduction sounds 
r. But as shaped by producers 
David Cole and Robert Clivilles, on Nothing 
lalis Leon, 
ще aren't 
just bubble gum clones: Their voices have 
body and texture, and the songwriting— 
und med by Clivilles' terse dance-clas- 

mples—i h as it gets in this 
genre. From the Heartbeat cover and the 
Two to Make It Right vip to the independ- 
ently romantic One Mistake and the tough- 
talking Breakdown to the sexy-campy 
Seductions Theme, Seduction ік poised to 
inspire a new round of “Disco Sucks” ral- 
lies. Which will be even stupider than they 
were the last time. 


DAVE MARSH 


One thing you have to say about the 
folks who want to censor rock and roll: At 
least they dont underestimate it. Rocks 
content has never been trivial, but, even 
forgetting about such inflammatory char- 
acters as Public Enemy and Guns n Roses, 
maybe the bluenoses and the demagogs at 
the РТА. and in state legislatures do have 
something to fear fromartists with the abil- 
ity (and the willingness) to grapple w 
emotional and political realities. 

I dont know if the Cramps’ Stay Sick! 
(Enigma) is Tipper Gores worst night- 
mare; that may well be Janet Jackson and 
Phil Collins aligning themselves with the 
homeless. But the Cramps are close to my 
idea of perfect rebel rockers: smart guys 
with dirty minds, a wicked sense of humor 
and a grunge-rock-a-billy fusion that 
drags out all the salaciousness that. Joan 
Jett and Led Zep only imply. Here, they've 
come up with the bes шеп batch of 
songs they've ever done, in particular God 
Damn Rock т" Roll, which sounds like Ge- 
raldo aon LSD. 

But all of rocks apocalyptic visionaries 
arent so blatant in their misanthropy. Take 
Chris Rea's The Road to Hell (Geffen), on 
which a fairly conventional pop/rock 
singer/songwriter constructs a concept al- 
bum about human salvation. ( Just so we 
don't miss the point, Rea made the first 
song The Road to Hell [Part 1) and called 
the last Tell Me Theres a Heaven.) The 
point he makes is that its damn unlikely 
body's going to find any. lt works be- 
с Кеа musical vision takes bleakness 
beyond the blues. On You Must Be Evil, he 
makes the end of the world seem like a wel- 
come break {rom what happens to his kid 
when she watches the news on TV 


VIC GARBARINI 


Imagi 
mind meld 


but intriguing Vulca 
E members of the 
iel and, say, Lurch 
from The Addams Family. Well, they re 


We dont show 


people smoking 
inourads. 


Because we figure smokers already know how. Heck, we're not talking 
rocket science here. So, we'll get right to the point: flavor. In a nationwide taste test, 
a majority of smokers said Merit tasted as good as or better than cigarettes that have up to 38% 
more tar. Enriched Flavor™ is the reason why. And only Merit has it. So the next 
time you do what you already know how to do, do it with Merit. 


Enriched Flavor" low tar. yf А solution with Merit. 


а Fr 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking 
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal 
Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight. 


© Philip Morris Ine 1099 


Kings: 8 mg "tar." 0.6 mg nicotine av. per cigarette by FTC method. 


24 


` ANEW COOL BREEZE 
FROM CANADA 


Elvis Presley was one of the first 
targets of hype-speak; e.g., "hottest new 
star in the universe.” Several decades 
later, similar phrases whiz by like so 
much white noise. More than a few 
scene savants, however, currently insist 
that 23-year-old Canadian newcomer 
Jone Child is that hot. 

Child was only five when her musi 
cian parents began teaching her voice, 
piano, violin and music theory. At 19, 
she was teaching, too. Rock-and-roll 
music was verboten, “not for moral rei 
sons but for musical ones—my folks 
didn't want anything to blunt my devel- 
oping musical subtlety.” But on her bed- 
room radio at night, she would hunt 
down R&B stations beaming from Buf- 
falo, New York: Stevie Wonder and 
Earth, Wind and Fire quietly led her 
astray: 

When she was 15, Child took a sum- 
mer job playing keyboards for a travel- 
ing local rock band. At summer's end, 
she did not get off the bus. “That amaz- 
ing energy exchange” lurcd her off the 
pathway to a concert-pia 

Child still wonders at her relatively 
smooth ascent to stardom. 10 make а 
long fairy tale short, a Hamilton, On- 
tario, studio where she sang commer- 
cial jingles gave her recording time to 
make demos of original songs. A “Col- 
onel Parker type" passed them along to. 
his partner in New York, where Jane re- 
located in 1986. The г ding deal the 
partners put together, says Child, “was 
small, and there was no artistic control. 
So I said no, which put me in breach of 
contract to those two guys. I headed to 
L.A. in '87" She laughs. “There I was in 
h no car! 
no management, no insider pals 
and none of the other stuff usually 
needed to smuggle demos into the ma- 
jor labels, But Child's tapes got around 
anyway 

“Meanwhile, I couldn't work legally 

n the States. I looked then like 1 do 
now—imagine me working at Win- 
chell's Donuts!” Money was scarce, but 
interested record companies provided. 
label would pay my rent one 
month and another the next.” With that 
kind of support, it wasn't surprising 
when Warner Bros. gave her creative 
control of her self-titled first project. 

‘The resulting LP has been compared 
to Prince productions. She 
both dive headfirst into the deep e 
contradiction and paradox; thi 
share a seductive androgyny Jane Child 


also suggests that Child might evolve 
into the musical trailblazer that Prine 
is at his best. Unlike the shy and reclu- 
sive Prince, though, she claims to feel 
quite cozy with the hoopla starting 10 
surround her. 

“Obviously, 1 believed 1 could have 
some success, or touch somebody, be- 
cause I did put all my eggs into this one 
basket. So the attention feels good.” ОГ 
course, hoopla and success attract me- 
dia backlash 


Jane Child: Hottest new star? 


‘Thus far, the closest thing to a shot 
has been the excessive press fascination 
with Child's appearance. There is not 
only the pierced right nostril but chains 
connecting the nose ring to an earring. 
Yes, her braids are bona fide, and as 
long as Crystal Gayle's mane. Jewelry 
kes around fingers, up both wrists, 
occasionally around her waist. “АП of 
that is secondary to what I do,” Child 
notes calmly, then explains. “The nose 
ring is from East Indian culture—one 
of the things I love about Eastern reli- 
gions is their lack of guilt and fear” 

If Child feels any significant fear 
about being heralded as the hottest new 
star in the universe, it doesn't show up 
front. Maybe that’s because а hard- 
nosed judge has been kicking her 

mall, shapely backside around lor 
years: “I'm very, very hard on mysell— 
sometimes I should cut myself some 
slack." Note to other hot new stars: 
Watch this gal. She may be on toa little- 
utilized method of surviving stardom. 

— LAURA FISSINGER 


from Australia, they're called Midnight 
Oil and they're serious about aboriginal 
rights, ecology and progressive politics. 
They conquered MTV and U.S. radio in 
1988 with their last album's anthemic 
gle Beds Are Burning, and now they're back 
with their follow-up assault, Blue Sky Min- 
ing (Columbia), а reflective, almost intro- 
verted effort from these progressive 
punksters. Forget about anthems, there's 
hardly a memorable hook or chorus in 
sight, with the possible exception of King 
of the Mountain, Still, kinder, gentler 
efforts such as Shakers and Movers insinu- 
ate themselves into our consciousness after 
a few listenings. But downshifting musical 
gears focuses us on lyrics, and that can be a 
problem. At their best, leader Peter Gar- 
reus musings reflect the aboriginal 
dreamtime logic of the heart, At their awk- 
ward worst, they're too specific to have the 
universal resonance of great rock and too 
disjointed to focus on any particular issue. 
New Age funk. It had to happen. 


SHORT CUTS 


Kitaro/Kojiki (Сей! Most New Age 
music sucks, but rock critics tend to shrug 
off all of it on the evidence of some of it. 
Not fair. As one who has dismissed much 
of Kitaro’s work in the past as aimless 
noodling with a phony veneer of mysti- 
cism, 1 have to say that here we get drama, 
melody, tension, resolution and all the cool 
stuff that makes classical music work. 

Silos (RCA/BMC): With a little promo 
tion, these guys could be contende 
Forthright without being obvious, spa 
without a lot of crappy “roots” references, 
they occupy a middle ground between 
REM. and John Cougar Mellencamp 
while leaving no suspicious aftertaste of 
redneck attitude. College radio, here they 
come. 


e 


а! Tour (Saja/At- 
from the Seventies is 
very hip right now, so this should do well 
with the more-ironic-than-thou set It 
defines cheap sentiment: exquisitely вес- 
ondhand yet tapped into the reservoir of 
self-pity that has always irrigated the am- 
ber waves of transcendentally odious art 
from the heartland. His stage patter about 
drinking Ripple and Nyquil will place him 
in history 

Honk jams, Ir /lone Wolf (Warner/ 
Curb): Hot band, hot production, hot 
singing, willful ignorance, drunken pug- 
nacity, obeisance to power that masquer- 
ades as standing up for the little guy. Some 
say he’s the son of Hank Williams. I say 
he's the son of Jim Croce and the Gestapo. 

Kennedy Rose/hai ku (Pangaea/IRS): Fe- 
male duo plays folk music with the benefit 
of modern production that puts those 
chiming guitars and mandolins and what- 
ever in your face, Both are strong singers 
with the whole of their harmonies being 
greater than the sum of the parts. Remi- 
niscent of Linda Ronstadt at her best 


MERK 5“ 
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A Tradition of fine Diamonds Since 


For the store nearest you and our fee 


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26 


By BRUCE WILLIAMSON 


THE LATE Divine is no longer with him, but 
writer-director John Waters has everyone 
else in Cry-Baby (Universal). Playing ultra- 
conservalive parents in his comic musical 
spoof of the Fifties are such former pop 
icons as Joe Dallesandro, Joey Heatherton, 
David Nelson and kid- 
ress Patricia Hearst, who's just 
fine. The title role— yes, that's his name— 
is played with wry, rhythmic humor by 
Johnny Depp (of TV's 27 Jump Street) as 
“the happiest juvenile delinquent in Balt 
more.” Among his favorite chicks are 
ex-porn star Traci Lords as а teen bitch 
called Wanda and Amy Locane as Allison, 
a very wel-bred young lady who sulks, 
“I'm so tired of being good." Convicted of 
flagrant delinquency, Depp sings and 
struts his way out of jail while thousands 
cheer. All of Cry-Baby is mindless, campy 
comedy, with some first-rate Fifties music 
on the sound track. The best of it may be 
Sh-Boom or perhaps Cherry—the latter 
heard while a host of couples, more or less 
in unison, experiment with touchy-feely 
or tongue kissing. Up to his cycballs in 
what might pass for a ramshackle pi 
of movies such as Rebel Without a Cause, 
Waters hasn't lost his touch. Its a touch 
of crass, but that's what he’s all about. Ум 
Brace yourself for Last Exit то Brooklyn 
(Cinecom), based on Hubert Selby, Jr's, 
controversial best seller, а collection of 
grim stories first published more than 25 
years ago. According to this view of a 
harsh, loveless world, to be born anywhere 
near the Brooklyn waterfront is to be con- 
demned to hell on carth. German director 
Uli Edel's Brooklyn, adapted by Desmond 
Nakano, doesn't hesitate to show the dark 
side. Violent muggings, union busting, 
homo bashing, drink, drugs and prostitu- 
tion are what it's all about, with impressive 
performances to make bleak reality even 
bleaker. Jennifer Jason Leigh persuasively 
turns tricks as Tralala, the local strumpet 
who sets up her “dates” to be robbed and 
beaten and winds up in а gang bang that 
appears to involve the entire waterfront 
crowd. Peter Dodson triggers much of the 
physical cruelty as her handsome beau, 
Vinnie, with Stephen Lang very striking in 
astint as Harry, the married macho union 
steward who's secretly intrigued by homo- 
cuals. Ricki Lake, Alexis Arquette, Burt 
Young and Jerry Orbach stand out, 100, in 
а rambling, densely populated slice of life 
that projects Brooklynese gloom and 
doom from beginning to end. жа 
. 
in its new incarnation, 
Monsieur Hire (Orion Classics) is director 
Patrice Leconte’s subtitled French remake 
[ 1 by Georges Simenon. Panique, 
with Michel Simon, was a 1946 success 


Back to the Fifties with 
Waters & Co.; Last Exit 
gets filmed at last. 


based on the same book. ТІ time 


around, Michel Blanc has the cerie title 
tole as a su ange шап whose sexual habits 
include spying on a jeune fille (Sandrine 


Bonnaire) who lives in an apartment 
across the street. He watches the girl, AL 
ice, and quietly submits to police question- 
ing about the murder of another young 
woman in the woods nearby. The curious 
relationship between Blanc and Bonnaire 
commands attention, though nothing is 
quite what it seems in Monsieur Hire, e 
cept that its French, complex and sus- 
penseful. ¥¥¥ 


е 
The frankest, and so far the finest, fe: 
ture film on the subject of AIDS is Longtime 
Companion (Goldwyn), written by Craig 
Lucas and directed with conventional lov- 
ng care by Norman Rene. Cherry Grove, 
Fire Island, notorious as a mecca for New 
York homosexuals, is the setting where gay 
actors, lawyers, agents, businessmen and 
types gather back in the 
ighties to trade witticisms about the 
threat of AIDS. Before the movie is over, 
quite a few of the main characters are ei 
ther ailing or dead, yet Longtime Compan 
ion charts their going as well as the group's 
inevitable growing awareness with hume 
compassion and courage. Nominal head of 
the group is Bruce Davison, perfect as a 
well-to-do, unswervingly loyal host whose 
lover (Mark Lamos) succumbs to AIDS. 
While all the actors are exemplary. Camp- 
Бей Scott (son of George С. Scott and 
Colleen Dewhurst) upholds his heritage in 
а moving, pivotal role as Willy. Longtime 


Companion is an emancipated movie with 
some cogent observations on the media's 
handling of gays, plus some caustic com- 
mentary. A potential AIDS victim, for ex- 
ample, wonders aloud, “What do you think 
happens when we dic?” Replies his com- 
panion, “We get to have sex again." Жа 
. 

Make haste to see Nuns on the Run (Fox), 
a generally side-splitting comedy from 
British writer-director Jonathan Lynn. 
England's portly Robbie Coltrane and Eric 
Idle of Monty Python fame are co-starred 
as a couple of petty crooks secking refuge 
in a convent. Of course, they dress up аз 
sisters named, respectively, Inviolata and 
Euphemia. Also, of course, the movie's 
naughty, bawdy and broad as a barn, about 
as subtle as the collected works of Abbott 
and Costello. But just try not to laugh. 
Nuns is fun. viv 


. 

In the course of А Shock to the System 
(Corsair), Michael Caine manages to mur- 
der a hapless panhandler, his demanding 


wife (Swoosie Kurtz) and an archrival 
dly replaces 


(Peter Riegert) whe unexpec 
him as a big chief in advertising. Getting 
his own back as a charter member of the 
me-first generation, Caine might be caught 
but for a preuy professional colleague 
(Elizabeth McGovern) who has reasons of 
her own for not alerting a suspicious inves- 
tigator (Will Patton). Shock is а tongue- 
chic thriller in which you root for the bad 
guy because hes Michael Caine—and 
much more likable than his victims. Mak- 

ng a smooth feature-film debut, director 
Jan Egleson substitutes his mellow style for 
moral values in Andrew Кауапъ droll, 
impish adaptation of a novel by Simon 
Brett. vvv 


Б 

Check your intellect at the door when 
you go to sce Wild Orchid (Triumph), set 
in Rio de Janeiro as carnival gets under 


ay (See the pictorial elsewhere in this 
sue for the stunning details) As put 
together by co-author and director Zal- 
man King, on ns bchind 
910 Weeks, it's all very sexy, razzle-dazzle 
and randy though the addled plot defies 
descrip jacqueline Bisset, Mickey 
Rourke and former model Carré Otis are 
allegedly vying to corner some resort real 
estate i they look more like 
swingers than like speculators. The whole 
blooming point of Wild Orchid appears to 
be getting Rourke and Otis flagrante. 


Voyeurs won't be disappointed. за 
. 
То call it а cross between Romeo and Juli: 


el and Abie* Irish Rose would be somewhat 
unfair, yet Torn Apart (Castle Hill) bears un- 
deniable resemblances to both. Continuing 
Middle East tensions guarantee the timeli- 
ness of director Jack Fisher's unabashedly 
sentimental romance, adapted 


WITH A STRONG 


о 
s 
» 
M. 
e 
m 


г Щи o W SEIN for B R / AU 


PLAYBOY 


from a novel aptly titled A Forbidden Love. 
You get the idea. Happy together as chil- 
dren, a Palestinian girl named Laila (Ce- 
cilia Peck; see “Off Camera”) and a Jewish 
soldier named Ben (Adrian Pasdar, one of 
movieland’s fastest-rising hunks) are sepa- 
‘ated for years, then meet again when he's 
assigned to military service on the occu- 
pied West Bank. Religion, tradition, poli- 
and family come between them, with 
tragic results. Filmed in Israel, Torn Apart 
is corny but convincing, poignant and af- 


Ceciia: Pecks good girl. 
OFF CAMERA 


At 30, с Peck is a зей-рго- 
pelled stage actress as well as the 
comely co-star of the topical movie 


Torn Apart (see review). She's also 
the only daughter of superstar Greg- 
ory Peck. Mostly a Manhattan resi- 
dent, Cecilia last year narrated a 
Martha Graham special called 
American Document in New York and 
on tour, “Grahams truly remarkable 
and a mentor of mine, a real inspira- 
tion. When | first came to New York, 
years ago, my father's advice was, Go 
meet Martha Graham. He used to 
study with her, too.” A Princeton 
English major whose past credits in- 
clude managing a rock band and 
writing book reviews, Peck is now 
considering new movie s. “My 
dark looks and my psyche lend 
themselves to drama," she notes, 
“but on stage, 1 love doing comedy. 
Тһе laughter is intoxicating.” Her 
brothers Steve and ‘Tony are in the 
movie business, too; her brother 
Carey—“a banker and sky diver"— 
is the sole rebel. Growing up іп a 
film family, she recalls, “there's a lot 
of pressure. . . . You're always scruti- 
nized to see whether or not youll be 
a success.” She's doing fine so far. 
Her famous dad restrains himself 
from influencing her but makes sug- 
gestions and sees all her work. “In- 
cluding Torn Apart. He said he was 
quite relieved that I didn't embar- 
Tass anyone." 


, with cogent chemistry between 
and Pasdar (reported to have re- 
mained a couple after the shooting 
stopped). АБецеа by Barry Primus, very 
good as the boy's father, these two promis- 
ing young stars make more of it than the 
plot, in summary, seems to suggest. ¥¥¥ 


Robert Redford's n of To Protect 
Mother Earth (Cinnamon) evokes déjà vu as 
well as righteous indignation. Producer-di- 
rector Joel L. Freedman also made Broken 
Treaty al Battle Mountain, a very similar 
movie reviewed here in ch 1975. Little 
has changed for the Shoshoni Indian tribe 
struggling to maintain its treaty-given 
rights to a 24,000,000-acre tract of land in 
Nevada, except that the US. Supreme 
Court has backed the Government's disen- 
franchising double talk. The fight goes on. 
and the film is a potent, visually strikin 
plea for justice spearheaded by two 
Shoshoni sisters, Carrie and Mary Dann. 
Caring viewers should seek out Mother 
Earth, which the neighborhood Bijou 
probably wont bother to book. ¥¥¥ 


. 
As a Hollywood vice cop assuming v 
ous disguises to facilitate drug bu 
Theresa Russell brings some hot-blooded 
momentum 10 Impulse (Warner). The 
movie falls apart in terms of plausibility 
when Russell, nerved up and turned on by 
her image as a bogus bad girl, impulsively 
(that’s the word taken from the title) picks 
up a vicious drug lord whois murdered bc- 
fore he can get her into bed. But heigh-ho, 
she still has the locker key that leads her to 
his stolen millions, and Impulse hopes 
you'll wonder whether her secret will be 
found out by George Dzundza, а horny fel- 
low cop with a yen for Russell, or whether 
she'll take the money and run with a much- 
too-handsome young assistant D. 
played by Jeff Fahey. Sondra Locke, who 
was Clint Eastwood's lady of yesteryear, di- 
rected the movie, blending her volupiuous 
heroine's softer side with a hard edge of vi- 
olence that Dirty Harry might envy. ¥¥Ya 
. 

Culusts should have a field day with San- 
ta Sangre (Expanded Entertainment), di- 
rected by Alejandro Jodorowsky who 
made El Topo and The Holy Mountain. This 
curious personal fantasy, in essence a hor- 
ror story, stars the director’s son, Axel 
Jodorowsky, in a manic role as Fenix (an- 
other son, Adan, plays the younger Feni 
Driven by odd obsessions, Fenix escapes 
from a lunatic asylum to join a strange, 
somewhat incestuous theatrical act with 
his mother, Concha (Blanca Guerra). In 
the show, standing behind her, Fenix lets 
his own arms gesture for Concha, whose 
arms were chopped off by her philander- 
ing husband (played by Guy Stockwell, 
Dean's brother) after she splashed 
his crotch. Is it necessary to add that 
Sangre is nightmarish, bloody and а Баала 
trip? YY 


MOVIE SCORE CARD 


capsule close-ups of current films 
by bruce williamson 


Bod Influence (Listed only) Does art imi- 
tate life? More sexy video tapes in a fer 
vid ian thriller with Rob Lowe and 
ames Spader, no less. wy 
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife 8 Her Lover 
(Reviewed 4/90) Far-out foolery in an 
eating establishmen Wa 
Coupe de Ville (5/90) Three oddball guys 
ferry a Cadillac to Florida v 
Сғу-ВаБу (See review) Still on a roll with 
Waters and company. LUZ 
Enemies, а Love Story (3/90) Top-notch 
direction by Mazursky, about Holocaust 
survivors in New York. vivit 
The Handmaid's Tale (5/90) From the 
chilling novel, with Natasha Richard- 
son as a captive baby maker. way 
The Hunt for Red October (Listed only) 
Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin and a 
dandy undersea cast. But just OK. vv 
The Icicle Thief (5/90) Man with a movie 
іп a madcap media mix from Italy, vvv. 
Impulse (See review) Russellmania. ума 
Last Exit to Brooklyn (Sec review) And 
you wouldn't want to live there. жұ 
Longtime Companion (See review) Some 
homosexuals in the era of AIDS. ¥¥¥Y2 
lord of the Flies (5/90) The classic re- 
made, proving boys will be beasts. ¥¥¥ 
Love at Large (5/90) Guessing game with 
Berenger and beauties Wh 
Miami Blues 0) More flash from Alec 
Baldwin, the making. M 
Monsieur Hire (Sce review) A teasing 
Simenon thriller, French style. vv 
Mountains of the Moon (3/00) African 
high adventure as it ought to Бе. ¥¥¥¥ 
My Left Foot (12/89) Daniel Day-Lewis is 
brilliant, and there's more. Way 
New Years Doy (5/90) Director Henry 
Jaglom’s tell-all holiday soiree. wy 
Nuns on the Run (See review) Coltrane 
and Idle get into the habit. ul 
Rosalie Goes Shopping (5/90) Beating the 
system with Marianne Sagebrecht. ¥¥ 
Santa Sangre (See review) Weird. — wv 
A Shock to the System (Sce review) Е 
tricity by Michael Caine. за 
Stropless (5/90) Blair Brown learning 
the ways of a with a maid. ¥¥¥ 
The Tall Guy (9/89) Jeff Goldblum on the 
loose in London. LZ 
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Listed only) 
Shell game for the very young ¥ 
To Protect Mother Earth (Sec review) Indi- 


an rights backed by Redford. wy 
Torn Apart (See review) Star-crossed 
lovers in turbulent Israel. wy 


Wild Orchid (See review) Not much to go 
n, but lots of brio in Rio. WA 


Www Outstanding 
wave Don't miss % Worth a look 
¥¥¥ Good show ¥ Forget it 


Mel 


DA SC OVER THE MYSTERY O0. 116 


[^ dh 


ATTRACTION 


COLOGNE FOR MEN 


VIDEO 


He may portray the ulti- 
mate con artist in TVs 
Isuzu spots and be a hit on 
Empty Nest, but David 
Leisure cannot tell a lie 
when it comes to videos he 
prefers. “I am a total 
movie nut,” he says. “Ну 
favorite romantic film,” he 
deadpans, “is The Magnificent Seven and my 
wifes is Falling in Love—which is why we have 
two VCRs. Meanwhile, I bought my daughter 
every Disney video available—even the guy 
stuff, like Old Yeller and the Oavy Crockett IV 
shows.” Other Leisure-time faves: the original 
King Kong, A Man and a Woman and anything 
with Spencer Tracy (“Не showed up on the set 
and ate up every scene”). As for adult fare: 
“Everyone has a little voyeurism in him, but 
we havent rented anything like that in a long 
time. All the guys at our video store know us, 
so renting a dirty movie can be a tough job.” 
No lie. — LAURA FISINGER 


BRUCE ON VIDEO 
our movie critic goes to the tape 
We've lost many of the great movie icons in 
the past year or two; fortunately, they left a 
timeless | 


1 hits, plus few sleepers worth 
remembering, now available on video: 
Fred Astaire died three years ag 
month. My favorite Astaire 
Rogers classic, Swing Time, w: 
imitable George Stevens. But 
Fred with Joan Leslie in The 
Sky’ the Limit, a wartime musical noted for 
its major song-and-dance numbers. 
Lucille Ball: Long before / Love Lucy, she 
made a snappy 1940 musical comedy, Too 
Many Girls, in which she met Desi and 
made the big time. Du Barry Was a Lady 
(1943) confirmed that she belonged the: 
Betre Dovis: Her dramatic peak may be The 
Letter (1940), but she won ап Oscar for 
playing a dipsomaniac in Dangerous (1935) 
and sizzlesasa gang moll flailing at Bogart 
the prosecutor in Marked Woman (1937). 
he got her only Oscar nomi- 
in Mogambo (1 


erlook Ava 
groomed for misery as a movie queen in 
director Joe Mankiewicz’ acidic 1954 insid- 
егз epic The Barefoot Contessa. 

Laurence Olivier: Classics schmassics, you 
haven't seen Sir Larry until you catch him 
as а seedy vaudevillian in The Entertainer. 
He's also a prince of a player with Vivien 
Leigh (then his wife) in That Hamilton 
Woman. 

Barbara Stanwyck: She was a hang-tough 
con woman for Preston es in The 
Lady Eve (1941), then downright nasty in 
Billy Wilder's 1944 Double Indemnity. 


acy on film, Here are some of 


Theres an unforgettable, sympathetic 


Stanwyck teamed with Gable in Night 
Nurse (1931). Too bad her steamy 1933 
Baby Face isn't on video— yet. 


--ВКОСЕ WILLIAMSON 


VIDEOSYNCRASIES 


Presidents of the 20th Century; First 
Ladies; Princes and Princesses; Kings 
and Queens: A Profile of 20th Century 
Royalty: Four tapes provide the ultimate 
collection of 
from Queen Victoria and Teddy Roosevelt 
to Barbara Bush and Princess Di. The ulii- 
mate head-honcho collection (MPI). 

Step by Step PC Computer. Assembly: 


86/386 clone. Tapes big pitch: 
ng, по special tools, no me- 
chanical ability requi o for it ( JVF). 
The Frisbee Disc Video: Complete with a 
visual history of the fad (the name came 
ie Pie Company, whose pie 
tins were the first “flying saucers”), this 
tape includes the inside word on throwing, 
fancy grabs, trick spins and canine Fris- 
bee-catching contests. Fun (Kodak). 


VIDEO KNOW-HOW 
special-interest tapes for the 
especially interested 
Executive Dressing for Men: Well-produced, 
hip rundown on the dos and don'ts of cre- 
g or revamping your professional 
robe. Best tip: matching shirt and 
jacket patterns to your physique (Vidcat). 
First Time Garden: Fawlty Towers mects the 
gardening tape. Co-host Geoff Hamilton 


MONT FACES 


Filthiest-Sounding Hunting Video: Introduction 
to Muzzle-Loading: Strangest Vid Title: Di- 
позашз Divorce and Dinosaurs Beware; Least 
Kind-and-Gentle Video: Boots, Buckles, Blades: 
Practical Street Fighting Secrets; Second- 
least Kind-and-Gentle Video: Super Mun- 
chaku—Semi-Advanced: Awesome Okinawan 
Weapon of Self-Defense; Favorite Video Cliff- 
Hanger: Avalanche Awareness: A Question of 
Balance; Best Thrill-a-Minute Video: Digital 
Speech and Pressures of the Text; Best It's-a- 
Living Video: The Basics of Mat Cutting and 
Decoration, Vol. 2. 


looks and sounds so much like a John 
Cleese clonc—and his meticulousne: 
bloody British—you may think this 
send-up. Not so. From landscape layout to 
finished backyard nirvana, some real 
“spot on” advice (Public Media Video). 
Emergency Action: A jour gem that 
could literally be a life saver. A clear. con- 
i on what to do when accidents 
happen—including C.PR., the. Heimlich 
maneuver and quick remedies for poison- 
ing, burns and cuts. (ActiVideo). 

The Ultimate Kiss: A Sensual Guide to Oral 


lovemaking: Instructional, 30-minute, 
K-rated (just barely squeaks by X), his/her 
demo on oral sex. Halfway between 


raunchy porno and health-class filmstrip, 
this vid is ideal for enlightening an un- 
initiated partner. But turn the volume 
down and avoid the sappy narration 
(Ero-Tron). — STUART WARMELASIT 


FEELING SEXY 


FEELING INTENSE 


sex, lies, and videotops 
probe the first two with weird intensity); Sea of Love (tired 
N.YC. cop Al Pacina seeks psycho singles 

); The Girl in a Swing (enigmatic Meg Tilly seduces 
‘ond confuses o staid Englishman). 


(James Spader uses the third to 


т, finds Ellen 


Black Rain (N.Y.C. detective Michael Douglas demonstrates 
Western justice to Osaka cops); Drugstore Cowboy (pill- 
heads Matt Dillan ond Kelly Lynch rob their way through 
Oregan); The Forgotten (Uncle Sam detains six released 
Мешот M.l.A.s; for parancid conspiracy fans). 


| crook; 


The Fabulous Baker Boys (torchy siren Michelle Pfei 
drives wedge between Bridges brathers Beau ond 

True Love (looming nuptials terrify o young Holian co 

The Little Thief (pretty petty larcenist meets her dream 
screenplay by François Truffaut). | 


Father’s Day past. 


B en еве ЖЕН 


ў, 
youre ар, асе 


Greeting card. 1926 Used with permission 


WHAT ARE YOU SAVING 


Visit your local retailer, or сай 1-800-238-4373 lo senda 7 
gift of Chivas anywterein the U S Vad where prohibited TASES CREB EAE AO, 


By DIGBY DIEHL 


suowst the travel section of any large book- 
store and you know that the number and 
diversity of guidebooks can be overwhelm- 
ing. 105 enough to discourage you from 
taking a ation, Well, relax. We have 
sorted through stacks of guides, consulted 
our well-traveled friends and here provide 
you with a selection of the top titles in the 
field, books that will make your next trip a 
breeze. 

Ina market place jammed with general- 
information guides from Fielding, Fodor, 
Baedeker and Michelin, among many oth- 
we find that the Stephen Birnbaum 
guides rise a notch above the rest. He ha 
replaced Temple Fielding as the voice of 
the urbane American traveler. In addition 
to the usual details about hotels, restau- 
rants and attractions, Birnbaum tosses in 
the offhand candid remark, the honest 
judgment call that makes you trust hi 
(Naturally, all of these travel series 
compiled by stafls of researchers, but 
baum has a reassuring style that gives you 
confidence in his opinions) Birmboum's 
Spain & Portugal 1990 (Houghton Mifflin) is 
a fresh look at changing Iberia as it gears 
up for the 1992 Olympics. 

Arthur Frommer was the pioncer of 
budget travel in 1957 with Europe on $3 a 
Day. The per diem cost h: 
tially, depending upon where you 
heading: Europe ($40), Hawaii ($60), In- 
lia ($25) or Aust ($30). However, 
guides, such as Frommer's New Zealand on 
$45 a Day (Prentice Hall), will still direct 
you to the clean, well-lighted budget places 
to sleep and cat, with dependable prices 
n L.S. dollars. 

For the truly adventurous knapsack set, 
the most colorful and reliable guides avail- 
able are the Lonely Planet “travel survival 
kits" Ignoring Paris and L.A., their ex- 
kking in Nepal, bush 
lia or through the wilds 
the Comoro Islands, 
s, Réunion, the Seychelles, M 
, Brunei and onto Marco 
Polo's old Silk Road, now known as The 
Karakoram Highway. If you really want to 
get off the beaten track, pick up a сору of 
Rarotonga 8 the Cook Islands (Lonely Planet) 
and head for the airport 

Richard Saul Wurman’s stylish Access 
guides are the most. prac friends to 
have in hand when wandering the cities he 
has mapped. By dividing cities sensibly in- 
to neighborhoods. Wurman skillfully gets 
you where you want to go with all of the es- 
sential infor nd logi- 
cally displayed. No one should attempt a 
visit to New York City without his updated 
NYC Access (Access/Prentice Hall) within 
He provides seating. plans for the 
theaters and the stadiums, a Manhattan 


peris take you t 


How to be a happy wanderer, 


Travel guides for snobs, 
shoppers, adventurers and 
the knapsack set. 


Address Locator and lists of the best 
things to see and do from New Yorkers as 
diverse as Brendan Gill and Beverly Sills. 

Of course, if money is no object, tr 
the posh routes with Henri Саш and 
Chri Millau. Their Gault Millau (pro- 
nounced go me-oh) series bills itself as 
"he Only Guide That Distinguishes the 
тшу Superlative from the Merely Over- 
rated” and delivers on that promise. You 
may be branded a snob, but you'll never 
sleep, eat or shop in a bad place if vou stick 
with its recommendations. A recent addi- 
tion is Gault Millau The Best of Hong Kong 
(Prentice Hall), which samples every hot 
pepper from Tsimshatsui to Macao. 

There are a few te 
been unequive 
ple, it is not surprising that Kodansh 
ternational publishes the best guides to 
Japan. Its Tokyo: A an abso- 
lute necessity for English-speaking v 
to that complex city of the future, and its 
Gateway to Japan, by June Kinoshita and 
Nicholas Palevsky, is an extraordi 
keleton key to the culture, as well as a 
practical guide. Another excelle t re- 
с for travelers wanting a q tro- 
duction is Japan Today! (Passport), a 
book-and-cassette course. 

We would never set foot in Paris without 
Patricia Wells's The Food Lovers Guide to 
Paris (Workman) and Chronicles recent 
editions ol Sandra Gustafson's Cheap Eats in 
Paris and Cheap Sleeps in Paris. The last two 
are the most discerning budget guides to 


that expensive city that we have found. 
The new Paris Address Book (Berlitz), with 
re than 1000 entries, will also go in our 
el bag: ditto Fodor's London Companion 
(Fodor) by Louise Nicholson, a wonderful 
manual filled with essential lore for walk- 
ers, shoppers, gawkers and eaters. 

You'll see a well-worn copy of Carl 
Franz's The People's Guide to Mexico ( John 
Muir) in the homes of frequent visitors be- 
low the border. Now in its seventh edition. 
this down-to-earth survey of Mexican cus- 
toms and conditions will help you get the 
most mileage from your pesos, appreciate 
the foods and avoid cultural offenses, If 
you are specifically heading toward Can- 
а or Cozumel, the Guide to the 
Yucatán Peninsula Including Belize (Moon), by 
Chicki Mallan, has detailed information 
about archaeological sites, as well as many 
out-ol-the- restaurants and hidden 
beaches not in other guidebooks. 

Ihe Hawaiian Visitors Bureau has des- 
ignated J. D. Bisignanis Hawaii Handbook 
(Moon) the “best guidebook” to the is- 
lands, and we agree. This 788-page survey 
gives new meaning to the word exhaustive. 
No one since James Michener has told us so 
much about our 50th state. Sun worshipers 
have been going to Hawaii for decades, but 
one of the hottest new travel destina 
Costa Rica, and Ree Strange Sheck’s Costa 
Rica: A Natural Destination (John Muir) is 
the definitive guide to its treasures. This 
peaceful democracy with its rain for 
ests and beaches is presented in the kind 
of detail that gives a traveler confidence. 

Of course, people travel with many spe- 
cialized purposes in mind. For example, if 
you a scuba diver, Gulf Publishing 
s you locations, depths, water condi- 
tions and plenty of underwater photos for 
the best dive sites in the world. Its latest, 
Diving and Snorkeling Guide to Belize, by 
Franz O. Meyer, explores the 175-mile 
Caribbean h eef along that country 
in deta are an avid consumer, the 
Born to Shop’ series, by Suzy Gershman and 
Judith Thomas, is for you. (The authors 
advocate the Moscow Rule of Shoppin; 
Buy it when you see it) The advice on 
where to go and how to bargain in Born to 
Shop: Hong Keng (Bantam) is an excellent 
short course in smart buying. 

Bon reading voyage! 


BOOK BAG 
Ed Paschke (Hudson Hills), by Neal 
mer Paschkes images exalt 


life's seamier side and never fail to startle 
contributions to Playboy 
for three decades were a significant ex- 
pression of those years.) 

Ricky Nelson: Idol for a Generation (Ci 
temporary), by Joel Selvin: Many people 
have already forgotten just how huge a star 
Ricky Nelson actually was. This book will 
be a reminder, 


MEN 


hey are out there, men. They have 

you under intense surveillance and 
your every move is being tracked. May as 
well face it, amigo, you are a deadass duck 
on the highway of life. The Feminine 
Bureau of Investigation is on your case, 
and you don't һауе a chance. This Е 
is the sharpest, brightest, most inqui: 
itive and shrewdest intelligence agency 
ever devised. 

1 recently visited the international head- 
quarters of the Feminine Bureau of Inves- 
tigation in Washington, D.C. As you may 
remember, the EB.L is run by J. Evange- 
line Hooverette (Angie to all who know 
and love her). I am here to tell you that di- 
rector Hooverette is a very tough cookie 
who does not suffer foolish men gladly. 

“Asa Baber, also known as Needle 


Angie said to me as 1 walked into 
her office. “Sit down and shut up, 
Butthead,” she barked with a flinty smile 


She was built like a fireplug. She had a 
strong handshake, too. 

Isat down fast. “Needle Dick'? How did 
you know that's what the women at the 
health club call me?” [ asked anxiously. 

“Oh, hell, Asa, this is the Feminine Bu- 
reau of Investigation. We've known all 
about you for years.” She pulled out a very 
thick folder and started reading from it. 
““Asa Baber; Chicago, Hine 1990 up- 
date: “Thinks he's a stud but is only a 
pony.” “Plays with himself all the time to 
see if that will make it grow.” “Thinks he's 
a writer, but couldn't write a parking ticket 
if he had to.”*” Angie looked up at me and 
laughed at the expression on my face. 
prised? We've got sitrep reports from ev- 
ery woman you ever dated or talked to. 
We've got wire taps and video tapes, tran- 
scripts and infrared photographs, credit 
checks and medical histories. We know 
more about you than you do. Had enough, 
Pudthumper? 

“Yes, yes!" I cried. “That's enough.” I felt 
very shaken. I tried to collect my though 
"I'm not here to learn about my file, 
said 
‘Well, what are you here for, then, Baby 
Balls?" Angie asked 

“I'm here to learn how women got so 
smart and observant, why they are so far 
ahead of us guys," I said. "I want to know 
why they notice things about me that 1 
would never notice about them, why they 
sense social ions so much faster than 
I do, why they think faster and talk better. 

“You mean,” Angie said, “why, if you 
wear socks with holes in them to the 


By ASA BABER 


THE ЕВА. 
IS WATCHING! 


office—which, according to our files, you 
did two days in а row last month—all the 
women in the building know it within five 
seconds of your arrival? And why, if you 
even think about hitting on one of them, 
the word is out to all the others before you 
get back to your desk?" 

“Yes,” I said, “that's what I want to know. 
‘Women see more, they know more, they 
compare notes more often. It's very intimi- 
dating.” 

Angie leaned back in her chair with a 
smirk. “Well, in the first place, Crappy 
Columnist, we п our women well. Ev- 
ery woman in the world has been through 
our training program. Remember Eve? ОГ 
Adam and Eve? She started it. I'm just fol- 
lowing up. It’s genetic by now" 
fou mean that throughout history, it’s 
been like this?” 

‘Oh, yes," Angie said, nodding. “We're 
way ahead of you gentlemen in terms of in- 
telligence gathering” 

Why?" 1 asked. 

“Because you are always distracted 
when you're talking to women. You're 
thinking about sex all the time, You're usu- 
ally mesmerized by women, aren't you? By 
the wink of an eye, the thrust of a breast 
the shape of an ankle, the curl of a lip: 

"I guess so," I said. “Aren't they interest- 
ed in the same things about us?” 

“Eventually, they may be,” Angie said. 


“But first they are required to conduct a 
personal inventory. We teach them to do 
that before anything else.” 

"Personal inventory?” I asked. 

Angie handed me a printed form. “Just 
follow me on this one, Liver Spot," she said 
as she read aloud: “‘Personal Inventory 
Sheet, First Meeting, Form 101, Alpha 
Bravo: height, weight, estimated age, color 
of eyes, color of hair, estimated value of 
clothing, estimated value of personal jew- 
elry, estimated career potential, estimated 
cash on hand, number and type of credit 
ا‎ " 

"This is very cold," I interjected. 

“No shit, Emetic Eyes?” She shook her 
headand went back to reading: " "Iype and 
expense of dentalwork, physical-energy 
level, vocabulary level, estimated penis 
size—not valid if pants are pleated — 

“Wait a minute!” I yelled. “You mean to 
tell me that every woman fills out one of 
these forms on every man she talks to? You 
mean there are no casual moments, it’s all 
business?” 

“That's right, Panic Breath,” Angie said. 

“So while we're checking out the sex an- 
gle, they're making business decisions?” 

“What else?” She handed me several 
other forms. “They fill these out and send 
them in. Here's a form about your domes- 
ing quarters, here's one about your 
family and friends, here's your Colleague 
Evaluation Report, your credit-bureau 
record, etc. By the time she's done with 
you, the profile is complete. She sends it in, 
the information is added to your file and 
she gets a final print-out the next day 

"Guys don't have anything like that,” I 
said. 

“Guys never will,” Angie said, smiling. 

“Maybe if I warn them in my Men 
column?” J asked. 

“Be my guest,” Angie said. “Men look at 
the pictures first, they look at the pictures 
last, they skim your shitty column some- 
times. You're no threat to us.” 

I stood up and shook Angies hand. 
“Thank you—I think,” I said. 

“Get some new socks, Jarhead,” she said. 

I could hear the director's laughter all 
the way down the hall. Outside, there was a 
beautiful woman in a trench coat in the 
king lot. She had great legs and a warm 
smile and bright eyes. I was so distracted 
that I almost backed my car into the fence. 
As I drove away, I saw the woman smile at 
me. Then she began making notes. 


34 


WOMEN 


B: crisis! Cleo had sex! And itwas un- 
believably great! Now she wanted to 
jump ош a window! 

Butinstead, she just sat there in the West 
Beach Café, her face buried in her hands, 
shaking her head and muttering repeated- 
1у “What have I done?” 

“Well,” I said, “what have you done?” 

“You made me call this guy Г hardly 
know..." 

“Me? I simply said here you are in L.A., 
staying in a luxurious bungalow at a very 
fancy hotel, and everybody knows that the 
only thing to do 
is 4 


Get laid. I saw the reasoning. So I call 
this guy I picked up at a party last year, 
this guy I had sex with once, dinner with 
once, talked on the phone with maybe four 
times. In short, a guy I hardly knew and 
rarely thought about. . 

“And he came right ove: 

“That he did. And we had tremendous 
sex. It was beyond wonderful. It may have 
been the best sex I've ever had in my life.” 

“Oh, no,” said Rita, who had arrived 
without our noticing. “This is a catastro- 


phe. 
it down,” said Cleo. “ГІ buy. This may 
be my last meal on earth.” 

We sat in gloomy silence for five minutes 

“Listen,” I finally piped up, “it may not 
be so bad. We're modern women. 

“Fat chance,” said Rita. 

“Do you notice how my eyes keep dart- 
ing to the door every time it opens?” asked 
Cleo. “That's because I called him this alt- 
ernoon, calculating when he would be 
ош, so I could just leave a message on his 
machine, a message 1 composed and re- 
composed in my head for an hour and a 
half. In fact, here it is, word for word: ‘Hi, 
its Cleo. I'm in town for longer than I ex- 
pected, so if you're in the mood, come over 
to the West Beach tonight afier eight. 
Goodbye: ” 

“Very nice and straightforward,” 1 said 
supportively. Rita groaned. 

“My heart jumps into my throat every 
time that goddamned door opens,” said 
Cleo. “I'm tapping both feet spastically un- 
der the table, and just looking at the bread 
nauseates me.” 

We lapsed back into si 
dan arrived and took 
What?" he asked. 

"Ive just made an excursion into the 
world of casual sex," Cleo explained. 

“You got laid? Congratulations." 


nce. Then Bren- 


By CYNTHIA HEIMEL 


THE TERRORS OF 
CASUAL SEX 


“A guy I hardly knew,” said Cleo, “and 
now I think I'm madly in love with him 
and | may die if he doesn't come through 
the door this second and I want to have his 
children.” 

“Just because he had his dick in you?" 
Brendan wondered. “Jesus, am I glad I'm 
not a broad.” 

“Listen, buddy, there's no such thing as 
al sex," a beautiful movie star named 
Teri said, leaning over from the next table. 
We, of course, applauded. 

“Everybody knows that men are not just 
another sex, they are another species,” 
said Ri 

“No,” 1 said. “Men aren't even from the 
same planet. For men, love and sex are two 
separate things.’ 

“Listen,” said Cleo, “even if the sex 
bad, for at least a nanosecond we believe 
that it’s destiny and marriage and true love 
forever. And if the sex is great, we're total 
goners. Look at me. Yesterday I was simply 
horny. Today I am obsessed. It's some kind 
of biological imperative. 

“OF course it is,” said Rita. “ИЗ ап in- 
stinet that is buried deep in our reptilian 
brains. We pretend to be modern, but our 
biology goes back to the Stone Age. We’ 
the ones who have the babies. We want a 
man to go out and hunt for food and build 
us fires while we gi Е 

“Fucking bullshit, 


just don’t like to fuck as much as guys do." 

General uproar. 

“Women don't have a truly adventurous 
and playful taste for sex," he continued, 
unabashed. “You want this thing with con- 
ditions. Men unconditionally want sex, 
without prerequisites. You need this goofy- 
ass love shit. And this sensation of yours 
gets you into trouble. You'd be better off 
. Snap out of it; that would be my 


A curly-haired comedian came walking 
along. "Just because | want a hamburger 
doesnit mean I have to marry the waitress,” 
he intoned cryptically. 

The waitress came over. “That guy at the 
third table wants to buy you a drink,” she 
told Rita. “Very cute, wearing a wedding 


“Tell him Pm a lesbian,” said Rita. 

“Listen,” I said, “we want sex just as 
much as guys do, It's just that as soon as we 
get turned on, the fantasies start flooding 
in. I was at a party last night and there was 
this really cute Italian guy 1 was crazy tor. 
nted to sleep with him a lot, so I made 
up this whole endearing personality for 
him. Then he started bragging about his 
money and ancestry. Then he made a big 
push to go home with me, but the thought 
of him touching me nauseated me, be- 
cause he was an asshole. 
Who the fuck cares?” said Brendan. 

You should have taken him home and 

made him wear five condoms.” 

“Who? What?” said Herb, who had just 
walked in. 

“We're talking about how women can't 
have sex unless we think we're in love,” 
said Cleo morbi 


“You mean to say” said Herb, “you dont 
have fanta out running around and 
screwing everything in sight, with no guilt, 
no shame, no consequences, and the next 
day forgeuing who it was and finding 
someone else? 

“No,” we said. 

“Huh,” said Herb. "I guess it’s because 
women have the babies and they have a 
ited supply of eggs. Men have billions 
of sperm that they constantly теріс 
For women, sex always has consequ 
Irs not really fair.” 

“You can say that again,” said Cleo. And 
then he walked into the room and she lit 
up like a marquee. 


SOME WAYS TO WIN THE TOUR DE LITE 
ARE EASIER THAN OTHERS. 


2 Pick up Miller Lite—the less 
filling beer that really tastes 
great—and you might pick up 
ten thousand dollars. Instantly. 
Because ifa Miller Lite _ 
Mystery Biker spots you 
ordering or drinking 
Miller Lite at a bar or 
restaurant, you're a 
winner in the Tour 
De Lite Sweepstakes. 
This is easy. 


For [ull details senda self-addressed, stamped #10 envelope by 6/1/9010: Miller Lite A 
5 ушы ents th : 
) where prohibued Sweepstakesends6 15.50 ¿MG 
= 


©1990 Miller Brewing Co. Milwaukee, WI 


to New York City. 
Compete against the 
ù world’s top cyclists. Guys 
\ like Randy White, Joe 
Klecko and Run DMC. 
This will not be easy. 


3 Pick up Miller Lite at the 
Tour De Lite display in your 
favorite store. Ifa Mystery Biker 
spots you, you win. 
This is also easy. 


And, there are all sorts of 


See pues Everything from 


iking caps and Raleigh 
bikes to ten thousand dollars cash. 
Yes, it's easy to win the Tour De Lite. Even if 


you don't have a bike. 


SPORTS 


І M.G. has announced that it has signed 
Jennifer Capriati, a -old tennis 
player, asa client and has already arranged 
a $5,000,000  tennis-clothing-and-shoe 
contract for her” NEWS ITEM 


. 

1 had my first business meeting with 
Cynthia Giggle when she was five years old. 
АСІ.М.2., we dont sit around. Sce some- 
thing, we go after it 

Cynthia's father and coach, Fred, had 
called to tell me he had a tennis player 1 
ought to take a look at. Fred was a great 
player in his own day. At the age of 14, he 
won the mixed doubles at the French with 
Olga San Pablo, who later became a guy. 

I said, “Fred, don't waste my time. Last 
week, I turned down a four-year-old at La 
Costa. No killer instinct.” 

Fred assured me that Cynthia had a 
Killer instinct. 

“Last week, she Killed our Yorkshire ter- 
"һе said. “Choked it to death in two 
minutes. It could have been my fault, I 
dont know. On the tennis court, ГА be 
ng her a choking dog, to toughen her 
nd" 

“And the next thing you knew 


dog. Cynthia has quite a grip, ГІ 
When I a Naples, Florid: 
found C ashing foreha 
nto her They have a court 
n their back yard. Fred had to make some 
sacrifices to build the court, but he and 
Martha agreed they would rather have a 
tennis court for Cynthia than a bedroom 
for themselves. 
Martha looked tired. She had been act- 
ing as ball girl for the past six hours. This 
i the family crusade to make 


ni 


а a star. 
All of the balls had been hit 
Fred, who hadn't been able to handle his 


ay by 


hand smash since Cynthia 
which is the reason his chest 
looked so concave and further explained 
his hacking cough, which had been known 
en neighbors. 

suddenly, Fred made а loud 


ise and 


mes I think Fred 
. He put a racket 
six months old. 


as worked her too h 
in her hand when she w 
She killed the cat with it.” 

Cynthia was a сше litle thing in those 
days. Blonde, blue eyes. Big for her age. 
She must have been two and a half feet tall. 
Some people always thought she had a 


By DAN JENKINS 


THE BAD 
SEEDED 


fiendish look on her face, but 1 sa had 
more to do with her competitive drive. 
“They'll be through in a minute,” 
Martha said. “They'll work on her lobs, 
then you can talk with her.” Fred liked to 
ynthia about 14 hoursa day, Martha 


explained. 
"Does she ever get tired?" Г asked. 
“Oh, no,” said Mart mina is one 


of her real attributes, I think the only ime 
complained was one Easter when 
two years old, We bought her a 
duck and it took her an hour to kill it with 
her T2000.” 
“Ha, ha!” I heard Cynthia yell. She had 
hita backhand top-spin lob that her father 
hadnt been able to retrieve. 
is is the fun part,” Martha 
“Fred gets mad and they really go at it. 
Fred hit a hard serve at Cynthia. She r 
turned it with a forehand winner down the 
line. He hit another hard serve at Cynthia. 
She returned it with a drop shot that sent 
n the surface, 
ughed, hopping up and 


nd hit her 
the hardest serve he had in him, and 
rushed to the net. 

turned it with another back- 
hand top-spin lob. Fred spun around and 
chased after it but suddenly stopped and 
clutched his chest again 


“Ah ah..." he said, stumbling, 
dazed, dizzy, a look of shock and agony on 
his face. He fell to the ground. 

“Ha, ha!" Cynthia yelped. 

“He plays game with her,” Martha 
said. “She gets all excited because she 
thinks she’s finally killed him.” 

Near Fred, Cynthia was gleefully chant- 
ing, “You're dead, you're dead! Ha-ha, ha- 
ha!" 

“He's not moving,” I mentioned. 

Martha smiled. “He taunts her. Some- 
times he lies there for two or three min- 
utes. When shes absolutely certain she's 
killed him, he rolls over and laughs at her. 
She gets furious. Ptew! She spits at him. 
Fred says it's something he learned about 
competition from a junior high school 
football coach.” 

“He's still not moving,” I said. 

“Boy, is she going to be mad this time,” 
Martha said. 

Cynthia came over to us. 

Martha said, “Honey, this is a very im- 
portant man. He's with a company called 
1.M.Z. They make tennis stars. Would you 
like to be a tennis star’ 

“Can I kill things?” Cynthia asked me. 
“You can kill other little girls,” I replied. 
‘Would you like that?” 
“When?” 
Cynthia w 
Fred still wasn't moving. In fact, Fred 
never moved again. I waited for ап appro- 
priate moment after the funeral to ask 
Cynthia if she had: enjoyed killing her 
father. 
les!” she said happily. 
That's when I knew that I had a true 
прюп. 
Мей, you know the rest of the story: 
bledon champion at the age of nine. 
Wimbledon utles by the time she was 


ll smiles. 


14. The first 12-year-old ever to win the 
Grand Slam. 
1 say Cynthia would still be winning 


tournaments if it hadn't been for that 
eight-year-old bitch out of Bulgaria 

But she's a happily married old lady now. 
Seventeen years old, with two kids. She 
stays home and cooks and cleans, and 
there's hardly any talk about sports around 
the house, though her husband surfs com- 
petitively. 


New: Sports scores by Playboy Dial 
1-900-740-5500 for up-to-the-minute scores 
and information about man’s second-favorite 
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На 


PANSON SHAVES 
(CE ON HIS FACE 


j 
= 4 Ж. 
HITTING He dees it with the Schick Slim Twit 


Disposable razor. Slim Twin has a slim head 

"THREE Points. to shave hard-to-reach places. 
In fact, it works so well, men like Jim 

Paxson prefer it over Gillette Good News 

regular. 


Slim Twin even has PEE 
aone-push cleaning bar to 
remove soap and stubble. 

So get with the 
program. And get to the 
tough spots with Schick's 
Slim Twin Disposable. 

Itreaches every 
place on every face. 


330 Warner Lambert 


“Hiram Walker 
is Red Но 


Mother always said, 
“Dont touch!" when 
something was red hot. 


Well, mother wasn't 
always right. 


Hiram Walker is Red Hot. 


His Red Hot Schnapps tingles. Ж 
It's cinnamon and spice E 
and fire and fun. 
Just like the red hots 
I loved as a kid. 


But Hiram Walker's 

Red Hot Schnapps is 
definitely for adults only. 
Adults like you. 


Go on. Touch it. 
Taste it. 


Or any of the other 
Hiram Walker liqueurs, 
flavored brandies or schnapps. 


ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW. 


RED HOT™ SCHNAPPS 
24% alc./vol. (48 proof) 

1989 Hiram Walker Incorporated, 
Farmington Hills, ME 


THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 


was at a night club with several friends 
when I noticed a young lady seated nearby 
to whom I felt immediately and strongly 
attracted, Although she was accompanied. 
by a gentleman who presumably was her 
date, she did not appear to be enjoying his 
company. She seemed bored, almost unin- 
terested. We made eye con ith each 


tempted to approach her on 
sions when her date excused 
on or another. I simply hoped to 
me, whether or not she wa: 
lusively with him Г 


off by any advance I might make, 
ed nothing. In retrospect, Lam convinced 
that a mutual attraction existed; however, 
Lam equally confident that I will never 5 
her again and, therefore, will never know 
for sure. Since writing a message оп а пар- 
kin or slipping my business card to а wom- 
not my style, I would like to know any 
tactful way to express my feelings in deli- 
cate situations such as this one without of- 
fending the lady—M. M., Cheltenham, 
Pennsylvan 

About ten years ago, a group of Playboy 
editors were sitting in a restaurant, staring at 
а woman who was seated alone by the wall. 
Clearly, she had been stood up. She caught 
our eye, we caught hers. We discussed possible 
opening lines for a half hour One of us 
finally worked up the nerve to talk to this 
woman, when the door opened, a gypsy vio- 
Iinist entered, the owner of the bar brought 
over flowers and champagne and а man en- 
tered, draped a diamond necklace round her 
shoulders, dropped to one knee and proposed. 
We assumed that the man was her date. She 
gave us one last look that seemed to say, “You 
had your chance. You lost it.” We gave her a 
look that seemed to say, “1 suppose a blow job 
is ош of the question?” Funny how these sto- 
ries change with time. Anyway, we asked а 
guy in our group what he had been about to 
say. He said he was simply going to tell her 
that he would eat lunch at that restaurant 
every day for the rest of the week and if she 
ever wanted to join him, she knew where to 
go. For all you know, the guy at the night 
club was the young lady's boss or her brother. 
Always ask. 


nd for the past three months, I've 
been receiving messages for some guy 
named John. I get phone calls [rom his in- 
surance company, inv 
tai from 
won I believe to be his mother. 
retary left more than 20 messages. 

called her back—now she calls only once a 
week.) Should | return these wrong-num- 
ber messages or ignore th Should 1 


leave my full name on the outgoing-mes- 
sage tape? First name? Just a number?— 
H. B., Troy, New Yor! 

We believe that privacy is a right that must 
be exercised if il 15 to be protected. Never give 
out mformation on the phone, Don't mdulge 
people doing surveys. Your buying habits or 
beliefs are your own business, not somebody 
elses. This applies to answering machines as 
well. Get one with а ten-second message tape. 
The world is tired of little dramas: “Bob, 
Carol, Ted and Alice are out. Please feel free 
to rob our house." Or the obvious: "We can't 
come lo Ihe phone, ‘cause we're rutting like 
weasels.” The best weve heard is a simple 
“You've reached [number]. Why?" Do you 
owe people a call back to explain that they are 
cretins or nuisances? We think not. If it’s 
really important, they'll find some other way 
to reach John—maybe a nuisance fax. If the 
calls continue, ask for a new number. 


О, occasion, 1 have been caught without 
condoms or other forms of birth control. 1 
remember reading somewhere that the 
are some useful substitutes for intercourse. 
Do you recall such a list?—O. E., San Fran- 
cisco, C. 
Golf? “Monday Night Football”? We 
assume you mean sexual substitutes. In “The 
Joy of Sex,” Alex Comfort lists nine sites for 
alternative intercourse, culled from a 1903 
sex manual called "Paradis Charnels." They 
are: "hands (she joins her hands, thumbs 
crossed, fingers interlaced, and makes him a 
vagina, welling her palms first with saliva— 
an old way of ending straight intercourse 
without risking pregnancy, though it isn't in 
fact a safe contraceptive method), mouth, be- 
tween the thighs... the breasts, the armpit 
and also the fold of the elbow and the knee. 
The other two substitute sites are the hair 


(long hair or plaits can be rolled into a vagi- 
па, or the penis lassoed with a loop of и, 
though some women may object because it’s a 
bore to wash) and anal intercourse.” He 
leaves out the foot—she can take off her shoe 
and extend it under the table to grasp your 
penis between her big and second toes. You 
can use your toe as a penis and put it 
wherever. And then there are the Thai bath- 
houses where women use their enlire bodies 
(plus a lot of soap) to turn your body into a 
six-foot erection. Use your imagination. 


Everyone knows that when you travel, 
you are supposed to keep the receipts for 
your travelers checks somewhere other 
than where you keep the checks. But I 
overheard some business travelers talking 
about keeping lists of other important 
numbers—such as those on your credit 
of this practicez— 


carry an appointment book іп our 
carry-on luggage. In it ave credit-card num- 
bers (without identifying the company), the 
numbers to call to report lost or stolen cards, 
frequent-flier numbers for all family members 
and passport numbers for all family members 
(with date and place of issue). We also list 
confirmation numbers—usually on the same 
page as the date of the trip—for hotels and 
cars, as well as the numbers where we will be 
staying or doing business (or pleasure). (And 
while we're on the personal stuff—never trav- 
el without knowing your significant others 
shoe size, dress size, blouse size and birthday) 
We've staried wearing off the receipts from our 
airline tickets with serial numbers, flight 
numbers and dates, keeping them separate 
from the tickets (it helps confirm reservations 
or replace lost tickets). We usually fly with ап 
OAG.—a pockel guide to all fights—in 
case we have lo reschedule, That way, we 
don't have to spend hours on a phone, wait- 
ing for a reservations clerk. And lending 
your O.A.G. to a stranded traveler is a great 
way lo meet people. We've read that some trav- 
el writers reduce all of this information to one 
computer print-out; weve met some people 
who have most of it stored on their computer 
wrist watches. Anything that cuts down your 
time in the telephone booth is worth doing. 


В deeply love my wife, but 1 think our sex 
life has become boring. Can you suggest 
any thought-provoking books?—K. W, 
Portland, Oregon. 

You're in luck. Carol С. Wells, author of 
ight Brain Sex: Using Creative Visualiza- 
tion to Enhance Sexual Pleasure,” has a neat 
little test that should provide some sexual in- 
sight. For each of the following situations, 
vale yourself for predictability, giving your- 
self a five if you're very predictable and a one 
if you're never predictable: "(1) The time of 
day we have sex; (2) the day of the week we 
have sex; (3) the place we have sex; (4) who 


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WED LIKE TO 
REMIND YOU 
THAT THE 
UNCENSORED 
CONTENT 
OF THIS 
MAGAZINE 
IS MADE 
POSSIBLE 
BY THE 
CONSTITUTION 
OF THE 


UNITED STATES. 


THE 
CONSTITUTION 


“The words we live hy 


stitution, Washington, DC. 20199. The Commis 
sion onthe Вкатепан! of The US, Constitution, 


m 


40 


initiates; (5) how we get started; (6) what we 
are wearing; (7) what we do to arouse each 
other; (8) the order of events; (9) what we say 
or don't say during sex; (10) what we do after 
we finish sex." If your score is 30 or above, 
you deserve to be bored. Wells also describes 
some of the characteristics of the Sexually 
Lustful Couple, who “intentionally stay in 
bed оп а weekday or weekend morning and 
enjoy each others company; watch less televi- 
sion in favor of a romp in the sack; let the 
laundry and lawn wait instead of their lust: 
are playful and uninhibited about their sexu- 
al desires; feel little rejection when one or the 
other is not in the mood, because they know it 
won't be weeks or months before there is an- 
olher opportunity; value sex too much to use 
й as а battleground for other areas of dis- 
agreement; recognize the need for transitions 
and so go out of their way to set a sexy, 
romantic mood with music, candles, oils or 
special dinners; tease each other with 
innuendoes to keep lust alive; ave more 
experimental and willing to try new behav- 
iors; are more likely to masturbate in front of 
their partner; enjoy sharing sexual fantasies 
and erotic talk; are more flexible in their con- 
ditions for sex—i.e., time of day, place, rules 
of cleanliness, etc.; communicate their sexual 
preferences to each other; are not ashamed to 
let their children know they have sexual 
needs; go into the bedroom, shut the door and 
tell the children they want private lime 
You've already shown your willingness to 
change by writing to this column. Now do 
some reading, Wells's book has some interest 
ing exercises that will spice up anyones sex 
life. Hit your local bookstore. 


ММ a: is the purpose of the extra eyelets 
in athletic shoes? I've seen anywhere from 
one to four extra holes at the top of the lac 
a. Are they for ventilation or for 
ure form of athlet 
S. L., Los Angeles, Calif 
If your running shoes are loose at the heels, 
the extra eyelets provide a means of custom 
filling the shoe. With the one extra eyelet, run 
the lace from the outer hole to the inner eyelet, 
then over the tongue to the loop you've just 
created on the other side, then tie іп a normal 
fashion. With multiple eyelets, you run the 
lace from the first or second eyelet to one of 
the outer eyelets, then tie normally. If this 
sounds complicated, have the salesman who 
sells you the shoe do the first fitting. 


Having finally gotten up the courage to 
write to you, I sincerely hope you can find 
the time to write a reply I am going 
through a lot of changes right now, one of 
which is discovering that | am a very sex- 
ual person. This comes as quite a shock to 
me. Not only do I enjoy sex with attractive 
men but I also find that pornography, 
especially with naked women, turns me 
on. Now, being a straight, horny female, 1 
am quite concerned. Why is it that I love to 
look at naked women and that my deepest 
ntasy is to pose for Playboy? Is this 
unusual? Lam afraid to tell people for fear 
they will think me insane. My fantasies 


bondage2— 


and dreams have become so erotic | am 
having trouble being fully satisfied. All 1 
know is that 1 thought 1 was a happy, 
fulfilled straight woman. Now I am con- 
fused. Please answer this letter and give 
me some hope that J am sane.—Miss H. J.. 
Montgomer а - 
Far ош--а live опе. Suggestive or erotic 
material involving either sex can naturally 
elicit arousal—even if the erotic portrayal is 
of a member of the same sex. The fact that you 
find such material stimulating is not abnor- 
mal, nor does it indicate that you have homo- 
sexual tendencies. The ability to appreciate 
the beauty in a sexual image is a sign of 
health. On that note, send us a picture. 


A girlfriend gave me a gift certificate for 
an expensive fountain pen and told me to 
pick one out. What do 1 look for?—C. B., 
Cambridge, Massachusetts. 

A lot of people are rediscovering fountain 
bens—so much so that the Writing Instru- 
ment Manufacturers Association, Inc, re- 
Joris that more than 21,000,000 (worth 
8126,000,000) fountain pens were pur 
chased in 1988. You should match the width 
of the nib of the pen to the size and the style of 
your script. Be certain that the point is 
gold—not gold-plated. On expensive pens, 
the point is often either 14-kt. or 18-Kt. gold. 
The 18-M. is a softer, more forgiving instru 
ment, but you may find that the H-kt. роби is 
more comfortable for a hand trained with a 
ballpoint. In testing the pen, write without 
ink. Flaws in the point will be heard as well 
аз felt. When writing with ink, form a series 
of Ss, which will reveal any burrs or flaws on 
the point. Don't press too hard. Let the point 
glide over the paper. Keep the pen protected 
(its case is the best place). Don't drop it onto 
your desk or into a drawer If you use car 
tridges, alternate them with Боще ink, if the 
pen is adaptable. Ink has sediment. In the bot- 
tle, it settles at the bottom; in cartridges, it 
goes to the nib and clogs it. Also, flush out the 
pen regularly with water. If you don't plan to 
use it for a while, empty it of ink. Finally, 
never use India ink in your fountain pen; it 
will severely clog it. 


Heres m story: I'd been seeing a young 
id of for about a year and a half. 
ionship developed to the point 
where I started spending an occasional 
night with her, and although we attempted 
to be careful, 1 now find myself facing 
fatherhood. When I found out about the 
pregnancy, 1 told her ı 


ly 30s, has an office job and 
should excellent mother. She has 
been reasonable, ng that 
si 1 was hers, she would 
accept the responsibility. She is leaving the 
question of child support up to me, and 1 
plan on providing some. She ha 
1 to me that she would lil 
father to the baby, and the thought of 
Saturdays at the zoo, etc., does appeal to 


“Just give me a killer sound system 
and the babes will follow.” 


©1989 TEAC America Inc В 


When riding is the end, not the means. 


The new Suzuki VX800. Remember when you rode a motorcycle purely for the fun of it? If not, 
the new Suzuki VX800 will help refresh your memory. 

The VX800 blends classic looks with contemporary technology. Smooth, beautiful lines flow from fuel 
tank to tail section. A traditional upright seating position provides across-the-board riding comfort. 

And at the heart, a slender, powerful 805cc V-twin delivers high torque over a broad range. While the 
low maintenance shaft drive smoothly transmits power їо the premium Metzeler reor fire. 

The new Suzuki VX800. Now getting there can be much more than half the fun. 


me. Our relat ip had cooled sig- 
nificantly before I found out a the 
pregnancy, but we have remained friends. 
1 have a number of questions, however. Is 
there something I should do now to ensure 
a level of control in case our relationship 
changes over the next five or ten years, 
so that I can maintain the right to see 
my child? And what about the legal 
ramifications of my signing Ше child's 
birth certificate? How does that affect 
adoption rights if she gets married? What 
other ramifications should 1 be aware 
of —R. R., Lincoln, Nebraska. 

Your name on the birth certificate alone is 
not enough to protect your rights. In your 
state, a тап must go to the Department of So- 
cial Services before or within five days of the 
childs birth to sign a statement acknowledg- 
ing paternity in order to protect has righis as 
the father (e.g, visitation). He would be re- 
sponsible for child support for 19 years, and 
he would also have to give has consent for the 
childs adoption. See a lawyer now. The prob- 
lem with these politically chic decisions is that 
they work great—in theory only. Reality has 
its oum sel of demands. You could negotiate a 
prepartum agreement sketching out some of 
the issues—but as a pioneering document, it 
would have little standing Youve chosen a 
decent but difficult role. Good luck. 


IM, boyfriend and 1 were re 
manual the other night and came across 
some interesting information. According 
to the author, the frenulum—the little Пар 
of skin where the gla nd the foreskin 
шесі--із the most sensitive part of the 
penis. My boyfriend's reaction was “Big 
deal.” It is not something that really comes 
into play during intercourse. Гус tried 
flicking it with my tongue during oral sex, 
with some effect. Can you check your files 
for any other techniques that involve this 
sensitive area?— Miss Г. R., Dallas, Texas 

We found something called the penile kiss 
The man caresses a woman's entire body us- 
ing the penis as a kind of paintbrush. He 
eventually zeroes іп on the breasts, pressing 
the penis against the nipples and using the 
frenulum to flick the areolae lightly. This is 
obviously something you can do in reverse. 
Kneel in front of your lover and brush your 
nipples across the tip of his penis. Using lots 
of lubrication may enhance the feeling—dry 
friction usually results in numbness, not de- 
light. 


All reasonable questions—fiom fashion, 
food and drink, stereo and sports cars to dating 
problems, taste and etiquette—will be person- 
ally answered if the writer includes a stamped, 
self-addressed envelope. Send all letters to The 
Playboy Advisor, Playboy, 680 North Lake 
Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 60611. 
The mosi provocative, pertinent queries 
will be presented on these pages cach month. 


Dial The Playboy Advisor on the Air and 
hear Playmates answer questions. Or record 
your own question! Call 1-900-740-3311; 
only two dollars per minute 


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43 


TASTE BREWED IN 
NOT TAKEN OUT. 


_ Areal difference in brew- 


The secret lies in a recent 
Miller discovery. 

Mostnon- hae malt 
beverages start out as regular 
beer and then the alcohol is 
removed. Unfortunately, so is 
a good deal of the taste. 

Sharp’, on the other 
hand, is the product of Millers. 
brewing breakthrough, 


the smooth, refreshing taste 
During brewing lemper. — of real реек 
atures remain lower so Try Miller Sharps. The 
alcohol production is muni- breakthrough taste that lets 
mized. What is producedis уои keep your edge? 


©1990 Miler Brewing Company, Макао WI THIS MALT BEVERAGE CONTAINS LESS THAN % OF 1% ALCOHOL BY VOLUME 


THE PLAYBOY FORUM 


МС MARTIN 


anatomy of a witch-hunt 


In reading the history of nations, we 
find that, like individuals, they have their 
whims and their peculiarities; their sea- 
sons of excitement and 
recklessness, when they 
care not what they do. We 
find that whole communi- 
ties suddenly fix their 
minds upon one object and 
go mad in its pursuit; that 
millions of people become 
simultaneously impressed 
with one delusion, and 
run after it, tll their at- 
tention is caught by some 
new folly more captivating 
than the first. 

— CHARLES MACKAY, 

LL.D., Extraordinary 
Popular Delusions 
and the Madness of 
Crowds, 1841 


Society seems to have a 
periodic need for witch tri- 
als, At the onset of the 
Reagan era, there weren't 
really any Communists 
around 10 persecute, so the 
hunt went back to the 
traditional exorcism of 
Satan, whose horns and 
cloven feet assumed the 
form of the local day-care 
teacher. 

— ALEXANDER 
COCKBURN, The Wall 
Street Journal, 
February 8, 1990 


Concern about sexual 
abuse of children be- 
came a national ргеосси- 
pation in the early 
Eighties. The Meese 
commission toured the country in 1985, 
bringing forth witnesses who claimed 
the kiddie-porn industry grossed 
$675,000,000 per annum. An NBC 
white paper, The Silent Shame, 
inflated that figure to three billion dol- 
lars—more than Hollywood makes in a 
good year. Alarmist Donald Wildmon 
proclaimed that “each year, 50,000 


“Everything 


missing children are victims of pornog- 
raphy. Most are kidnaped, raped, 
abused, filmed for porno magazines 


and movies and, finally, more often 
than not, murdered.” Other groups 
prodaimed that 1,500,000 children dis- 
appear every year. People believed, 
people panicked. 

Where was so much raping, abusing 
and filming taking place? According 
to the panic makers, at day-care cen- 
ters. Dr. Kenneth Wooden, author of 


A FORUM SPECIAL REPORT 


you think you know about 
the McMartin Pre-School child-abuse 
you learned from the headlines.” 


Child Lures, wrote, “Today, sexual abuse 
is so pervasive іп day-care centers 
across the country that some major 
insurance companies are 
discontinuing coverage.” 

The alarmists lied— 
and people believed. 
Study after study finds 
that children are far 
more likely to be abused 
sexually іп their own 
homes than they are in 
day-care centers. And 
in 1985, The Denver Post 
published a Pulitzer 
Prize-winning series 
that destroyed Wild- 
mon's figures: The num- 
ber of chiidren abducted 
each year by strangers is 
fewer than 70. 

The most recent—and 
certainly most publi- 
cized—case of mass hys- 
teria is the McMartin 
Pre-School sexual-abuse 
case. The prosecution 
spent $15,000,000 and 
six years making a sens 
tional case against day- 
care workers—only to 
have the jurors declare 
them not guilty. 


THE MAKING OF 
A WITCH-HUNT 


Everything you think 
you know about the Mc- 
Martin Pre-School child- 
abuse case you learned 
from the headlines. 

The story broke on 
February 2, 1984, on 
KABC-TY in Los Ange- 
les: Reporter Wayne Satz, sitting in 
front of a graphic of a mangled Teddy 
bear, said that more than 60 children, 
"some of them as young as two years of 
age... who were enrolled in the Mc- 
Martin Pre-School in Manhattan 
Beach, have now each told authorities 
that he or she had been keeping a 
grotesque secret of being sexually 


45 


abused and made to appear in porno- 
graphic films while in the preschool's 
care—and of having been forced to 
witness the mutilation and killing of 
animals to scare the kids into staying 
silent.” 

Headlines in the Los Angeles Times 
tried and convicted the accused: 
WAS MAIN AIM OF PRESCHOOL. 
" or “PUPPETS HELP CHILDREN 
SHED HORRORS OF ABUSE, " OT “RAYMOND BUCK- 
EY KNOWN AS MOLESTER, D.A. SAYS.” Los An- 
geles television station KCBS reported 
that the McMartin children had been 
“terrorized into silence” and that “the 
horror story emerging from the McMar- 
tin Pre-School is all too believable.” 

National coverage was equally breath- 
less. People magazine's headline was “THE 
MC MARTINS: THE "MODEL FAMILY DOWN THE 
BLOCK THAT RAN CALIFORNIAS NIGHTMARE 
NURSERY." Nightline — stated —without 
qualification—that “something was terri- 
bly wrong” at McMartin. “No one knew 
about the terrible secret that the chil- 
геп... were afraid to tell... This is a 
story . . . about how even the very young 
children have to be listened to and be- 
lieved.” And Jane Pauley, on the Today 
show, asked a child-abuse expert, “What 
is the damage to these children? Are they 
damaged for life?” 

In more than 2000 stories about the 
McMartin case, only a handful were 
skeptical about the guilty-before-trial 
verdict. CBS" 60 Minutes in November 
1986 and California magazine in Febru- 
ary 1987 questioned the prosecution's 
case. Easy Reader, a local alternative 
newspaper, reversed the direction of its 
coverage when the publisher visited the 
trial and became convinced that the 
defendants were innocent. 

Because of the sensational and biased 
press, more than 90 percent of the 
people in the Los Angeles area who had 
heard of the McMartin case thought the 
Buckeys were guilty—before the trial 
began. 


THE CASE 


Mary A. Fischer, a writer who did not 
fall for the hype, wrote in October 1989 
that the hysteria was the result of over- 
eager police, politically ambitious prose- 
cutors, aggressive reporters, an untrained 
social worker and tainted witnesses. 

The mother who filed the first com- 
plaint, Judy Johnson, was an alcoholic 
and was diagnosed as an acute paranoid 
schizophrenic. In May 1983, she wanted 
to enroll her two-and-a-half-year-old son 
at the McMartin Pre-School. Told that 
there was a long waiting list, she simply 
dropped him off at the front gate and 
left. The McMartins took him in and 


later enrolled the child out of sympathy, 

During July of 1983, Johnson visited a 
doctor. She said that her son's anus was 
“itchy” and believed that he may have 
contracted her vaginal infection. The 
doctor treated her for vagi but did 
not examine the boy. 

A few weeks later, when she noticed 
blood on her 5005 anus, she called the 
Manhauan Beach police. She told the 
juvenile officer that her child had a red 
bottom and said that he had said some- 
thing about a man named Ray at his 


“In more than 2000 
stories about the 
McMartin case, only 
a handful were skeptical 
about the guilty-hefore- 
trial verdict." 


nursery school. The police investigated 
and found that the boy “did not under- 
stand the concept of the word name"; in 
fact, they could not get him to talk at all. 
Furthermore, he could not identify “Mr. 
Ray” from a school photo. The police 
had the boy examined at a hospital, 
where a doctor found that his redness 
was “consistent” with sodomy, though the 
examining intern admitted that she 
didn’t know anything about sexual abuse. 

During the next six weeks, Johnson 
continued to embellish her story. She told 
police that Ray Buckey had sodomized 
her son while he stuck the boy's head in a 


A FORUM SPECIAL REPORT 


toilet. He had worn a mask and a cape 
while taping her 5008 mouth, eyes and 
hands and stuck an air tube in the boy's 
rectum. Later, she said Buckey had made 
her son ride naked on a horse and had 
molested him while dressed as a cop, а 
fireman, a clown and Santa Claus. In 
February 1984, she claimed her son had 
been sodomized by an A.WO.L. Marine 
and by three health-club employees iden- 
tified by her son from an ad, and three 
months later accused his father, her es- 
tranged husband. She claimed that Mc- 
Martin teachers had jabbed scissors into 
his eyes and staples in his ears, nipples 
and tongue and that “Ray pricked [her 
sons] right finger and put it in a goat's 
anus; and Peggy [Ray's mother] killed a 
baby and made him drink the blood.” 

She told the prosecutor that her son 
had said he had left the Los Angeles area 
in an airplane and flown to Palm 
Springs. She said he had gone to an ar- 
mory where there were some people 
wearing Army uniforms, “The goat man 
was there,” she said. The mother 
charged that three women at McMartin 
were witches who had buried her son in a 
coffin. She said her son had told her 
about a ritual in which one of the teach- 
ers had killed a real baby. “The head was 
chopped open and the brains were 
burned,” the mother said. 

On September 7, 1983, Ray Buckey was 
arrested, then released because of lack 
of evidence. School records show that 
Johnson's son was at the school for а total 
of 14 days and had never been in Rays 
afternoon play class and had been 
supervised by Ray only twice. The police 
had searched Buckeys apartment, his 
parents’ home and beach house and the 
preschool several times. They con- 
fiscated two Playboys, a camera and a 
graduation robe. No video cameras, no 
porn films, no pictures of children. 

Within 24 hours, the police sent aleuer 
to 200 parents of McMartin preschool- 
ers, indicating that Buckey was a suspect: 
“Our investigation indicates that possible 
criminal acts include oral sex. fondling 
of genitals and sodomy. . . . Any informa- 
tion from your child regarding having 
ever observed Ray Buckey leave a class- 
room alone with a child during any nap 
period or if they have ever observed Ray 
Buckey tie up a child is importan 

Not one parent reported abuse. Not 
one child disclosed anything suspicious. 
(Police located one child who said she 
had seen Johnsons son naked in the 
bathroom with Buckey but had not wit- 
nessed any abuse.) 


THE INVESTIGATION 


As rumors swept Manhattan Beach, 
prosecutors referred parents to the 


Childrens International Institute 
(С.1.1.), an agency that cares for abused 
or neglected children. The McMartin 
parents who took their children to the 
institute initially did not believe they had 
been abused, and none of the children 
had indicated to them that they had been 
abused, Although reluctant to have their 
children interviewed about sexual abuse, 
they relented when told by C.LL's medi- 
cal consultant Dr. Astrid Heger that if 
their children went to McMartin, they 
were probably abused. 

Kee MacFarlane, an unlicensed thera- 
pist with a master's degree in social work, 
interviewed the children at C.L1. She 
claimed that she had 13 years’ experience 
working with child-abuse cases—but 
according to her résumé, she was just 
a desk jockey at the National Center on 
Child Abuse and Neglect. By mid-1984, 
she and other С.1.1. social workers had 
questioned 400 children and filed 
reports indicating that 369 had been 
abused. Dr. Heger examined 150 of 
the children identified as victims and 
diagnosed 80 percent as having tissue 
damage consistent with molestation, even 
though the alleged abuses had occurred 
any time from three months to five years 
earlier, MacFarlane told reporters, “The 
medical findings are so pronounced that 
they are quite extraordinary for this type 
of case. The genital scars look like white 
welds.” 

Robert Philibosian, an attorney seek- 
ing the office of District Auorney, seized 
on the case as а means of garnering 
media recognition and votes. Using the 
C.LL interviews in place of hard сі 
dence, he convened a grand jury to bring 
charges against seven adults at the 
McMartin Pre-School. He eventually 
filed 208 charges involving 42 children. 
Solely on the basis of the video-taped 
interviews with the children, he jailed 
Ray ВисКсу and his mother without Бай. 
Charges were also brought against Peggy 
Ann Buckey, Virginia McMartin and 
three others, 

The case was flawed from the begin- 
ning. In a 1986 interview on 60 Minutes, 
Ira Reiner, the District Attorney who 
inherited the McMartin case when he 
defeated Philibosian in the 1984 election, 
told Mike Wallace, “What we had here 
were social workers questioning the chil- 
dren, asking very leading and very sug- 
gestive questions. The children were 
rewarded with praise when they said 
something had happened.” 

When the trial ended, one of the 
jurors, John Breese, said, “We didn't find 
out so much what the child knew as what 
the interviewer wanted to know. .. . Опсе 
the kids started saying it, the parents 
believed it. When the parents believed it, 


the kids started believin; 

Dr. Michael Maloney, a clinical psychol- 
ogist with a specialty in forensic psychol- 
ogy and a witness for the defense, viewed 
the video tapes of C.1.L’s interviews with 
the children and concluded that their tes- 
timony had been shaped by the inter- 
views. “The [C.1.1.] interviewers ran the 
risk of contaminating the children to the 
point that when [the children] left the in- 
terviews, it would have been difficult to 
know what the childrens true experi- 
ences were. . . . | was surprised, if not 


“Of all the accusations, 
the prosecutors found 
only two children for 
whom molestation was 
even 8 remote 


possibility.” 


shocked, at how leading and potentially 
biased the interviews were. ... There is a 
social pressure and coercion involved, in 
that the interviewers don't just say all 
[your classmates] have been interviewed. 
"They tend to say all these kids... have 
told us those ‘yucky’ things. . . . There 
becomes an expectation that the child 
should also do the same thing.” 

Dr. Maloney cited one interview in 
which the interviewer, Kee MacFarlane, 
asked a seven-year-old boy what the 
"stuff" from Buckey's penis tasted like. 

MacFarlane: “We're trying to figure 
out if it tastes good." 


A FORUM SPECIAL REPORT 


Boy: “He never did that to [me], I don't 
think.” 

MacFarlane then asked a puppet what 
it thought had happened: “Oh, well, Pac- 
Man, would you know what it tastes like? 
Would you know if it tastes good like 
candy?” 

Boy: “I think it would taste like yucky 
ants.” 

MacFarlane: “Oh. You think it would 
be sort of—you think that would be 
sticky, like sticky, yucky ants?" 

Maloney commented, “I don't recall 
any child saying Ray had ejaculated 
before this issue was brought up. . . . 
They gave the premise that it did come 
out [and] . . . presented the child as hav- 
ing had that experience. . . . If a child 
believes something bad happened at 
the school, [that] hundreds of children 
с said it, [that] it was a yucky thing, 
they've been presented with issues of 
sex up to this point . . . and Ray is intro- 
duced as a person who needs police 
surveillance, I don't think it takes a great 
leap to identify him as the potential 
person who was involved in all those 
other things that have already been 
placed on stage.” 

The children told the interviewers of 
underground tunnels. Police dug up the 
McMartin school and found nothing. 
They told of Кау5 killing a horse with a 
baseball bat. The farmer on whose prop- 
erty this was supposed to have happened 
said he was not missing any horses. They 
told of having to dig up coffins and then 
rebury them—ail between nine a.m. and 
noon. They told of being molested at a 
car wash during business hours. The 
owner of the car wash had seen nothing. 
The children identified community lead- 
ers, gas-station attendants and store 
derks as molesters. They picked the pic- 
tures of the chief councilman of Los An- 
geles and actor Chuck Norris out of a 
stack of pictures as being abusers. 

The children told investigators that 
Buckey had molested them for years. Yet 
records show that some of the children 
had left the school a year and a half 
before Buckey began teaching there. 
Others were never in his class. Of all the 
accusations, the prosecutors found only 
two children for whom molestation was 
even a remote possibility. 

The children, led by the interviewers, 
talked about photos and films. In spite of 
extensive investigations by the FBI, the 
US. Customs Service and Interpol, and 
despite the parents’ offer of a reward of 
$25,000 for a photo, no picture of a Мс- 
Martin child has ever been found. No 
video tape or film has turned up. 

MacFarlane even told the grand jury 
in 1984, “You know, this would be close 
to impossible to be going on without 


47 


somebody knowing.” 

One of the prosecutors, Glenn Stevens, 
was removed from the case when he 
began to suspect the children’s stories. 
“The only child who broke down and 
cried was the one who was caught in giv- 
ing completely contradictory versions of 
events, not crying because he was look- 
ing at Ray Buckey, a man who had terror- 
ized him.” 

The medical evidence of sexual abuse 
was also unimpressive. Dr. Astrid Heger 
used a colposcope, a magnifying device 
equipped with a camera that takes 3-D 
photographs, to examine the vaginas 
and anuses of suspected victims. The col- 
poscope had been used in Brazil to 
determine if brides-to-be were virgins. A 
colleague suggested that Dr. Heger try 
it out on the McMartin children. Heger 
herself had limited experience with the 
device. She showed 42 slides to the jury 
and testified that they evidenced sexual 
abuse. 

Dr. Robert ten Bensl, a nationally гес- 
ognized child-abuse expert at the Uni- 
versity of Minnesota, conducted blind 
studies of Heger's slides. He asked medi- 
cal experts to evaluate them and found 
that there was no correlation between the 
experts’ independent evaluations. The 
experts called to the witness stand to sup- 
port Heger's conclusions could not do so: 
One circled areas on a slide of a normal 
anus, saying they were evidence of abuse. 

Although not admitted at the trial, a 
research project by Dr. John McCann, a 
child-abuse expert at the University of 
California at San Francisco, destroyed 
Heger's medical evidence. Dr. McCann 
used the colposcope on 114 normal, 
nonabused girls and a smaller group of 
boys. The small bands that had been 
thought to be vaginal scars were found in 
more than 90 percent of the girls. Labial 
adhesions, which medical experts also 
associated with molestation, were found 
in more than 39 percent of the girls 
examined by colposcope and in 15 per- 
cent of the girls when the скат was done 
with the naked eye. At the start of the 
study, McCann identified smooth, wedge- 
shaped areas in the mid-line of the anal 
region as scars. But when he realized 
they were appearing in 96 percent of the 
children he examined, he consulted an 
anatomist, who found that the phe- 
nomenon had been identified as a con- 
genital condition in 1936. The dilation 
commonly associated with sexual abuse 
was found in 49 percent of the children. 


THE AFTERMATH 


Six years of trial later, the jury found 
Ray Buckey and his mother, Peggy 
McMartin Buckey, not guilty on 52 of 65 
counts. But the story wouldn't end. People 


magazine devoted a cover story to the 
angry parents and their children, who 
had not found solace in the acquittals, We 
could not turn on our TVs without see- 
ing the parents, the children, the jury, 
the judge on Sally Jessy Raphael, on Night- 
Ene, on The Jane Wallace Show, on Geral- 
do. Geraldo snarled: “The charges were 
horrifying; they amounted to an allega- 
tion that a secret child-sex cult existed 
within the walls of the McMartin Pre- 
School. . . . Today, we're investigating the 
McMartin outrage. What went wrong?” 


“Six years of trial 
later the jury found Ray 
Buckey and his mother 
not guilty on 52 of 85 
counts. But the story 
wouldn't end." 


‘The media were still buying into and 
fueling the hysteria. This climate of sex- 
ual repression creates additional abuse. 

In the Middle Ages, witchmania was 
the result of official policy (Pope Inno- 
cent VIII believed in witchcraft), an 
overeager and bloodthirsty bureaucracy 
and a superstitious, fearful populace. In 
the McMartin case, there were similar 
ingredients. The country had been 
primed for hysteria by alarmists. The 
overeager police, prosecutor, social 
worker and doctor all told the parents 
that their children had been abused, and 
the McMartin parents reacted with pre- 


A FORUM SPECIAL REPORT 


dictable anger, guilt and protectiveness. 

Some experts say that children who 
have been abused do not lie. But what 
about children who may not have been 
abused? Easy Reader cites the work of 
sociologist Jean Baudrillard: “Psychoan- 
alysts and physicians cannot distinguish 
symptoms produced by actual trauma 
from simulated symptoms, originating 
with imaginary trauma.” 

Add to that the fact that when treating 
abuse, no one is allowed to be skeptical 
and you have, as Easy Reader points 
ош, “a prescription for a psychological 
catastrophe, one in which hundreds of 
South Bay preschoolers suffer the psy- 
chological symptoms of sexual abuse, not 
because they were sexually abused but 
because sexual abuse was so convincingly 
simulated for them in therapy.” 

The children weren't lying—they were 
simply reciting the horrible lesson they 
learned in sex ed—C.LI. style. 

One has to ask, Where was the com- 
mon sense? Where was the one adult with 
enough courage to question the hysteria? 
Why did the police choose to believe a 
madwoman's first charge, while ignoring 
the rest of her delusion? Why did prose- 
cutors disregard the fabrications about 
tunnels, airplanes and celebrity as- 
sailants but believe the original charge: 
that someone, somewhere, was abused? 
Why couldn't the press see that children 
were placed in a contaminated envi- 
ronment where points were given for 
imaginative campfire stories? When 
something begins to sound like a night- 
mare or a made-for-TV movie, it makes 
sense to question it. This case under- 
mined real life; it asked you to believe 
that there were 200 families so devoid of 
trust that not one child mentioned to his 
parents that something unpleasant was 
happening at school. It asked you to be- 
lieve that children are ignorant (i.e., in- 
nocent) of sex, that any knowledge is 
evidence of abuse. 

In Salem, the witch trials stopped 
when someone asked if perhaps the accu- 
sations were not themselves the agency 
of the Devil. As Charles Mackay wrote 
іп Extraordinary Popular Delusions 
and the Madness of Crowds: “Might not 
the great enemy have put false testimony 
into the mouths of the witnesses, or 
might not the witnesses be witches them- 
selves? . . . The revulsion was as sudden 
as the first frenzy. All at once, the colo- 
nists were convinced of their error 
and condemned were set free; and grad- 
ually, girls ceased to have fits and to talk 
of the persecutions of the Devil." 
with time, the madness will 


Іп October 1988, 
Easy Reader petitioned 
the court to gain access 
to transcripts of video 
tapes of interviews that 
Childrens International 
Institute hod conducted 
with the children from 
the McMartin Pre- 
School. It was the general public's first 
look at the childrerts stories. The following 
are excerpts from those transcripts: 

Кво MocForlone interviews оп eight- 
year-old former McMartin preschooler. 
The boy holds an alligator puppet. 
wucrantane: Ме Monkey is a little bit chick- 
en, ond he cort remember any of the 
noked games, but we think that you con, 
‘cause we know a naked game that you 
were araund for, ‘cause the ather kids told 
us, and its called naked movie stor Do 
you remember that game, Mr. Alligator, or 
is your memary tac bad? 
sor: Um, | darft remember thot game. 
oc ramane: Oh, Ме Alligator 
sor: All | remember is this jake. 
MCFARLANE: OK. Lets hear it. 
sor: Umm, well, its, umm, o little song thot 
те and [friend] heard af. 
мәселе: Oh. 
во: Well, I heard aut loud someone 
singing, “Nuked movie stur, noked movie 
stor.” 
mcr: You know what, Mr: Alligator? 
That means you're smart, ‘couse that's the 
same song the other kids knew and thots 
how we really know you're really smarter 
than yau look. So you better nat play 
dumb, Mr. Alligotar. 
sor: Well, | didn't really hear it a whole 
lot, I just heard someone yell it fram out in 
the — Someone yelled it. 
wenns: Maybe, Mr. Alligator, you 
peeked in the window one day and saw 
them ploying it, and maybe you could re- 
member and help us. 
sor: Well, no, I havert seen anyone play- 
ing naked movie star. I've only heard the 
song. 

Mc tama: What good ore you? You must 
be dumb. 

sor: Well, 1 dont really, umm, remember 
seeing anyone play that, ‘cause | wasn't 
there, when I—when people ore playing 
it. 

MACFARLANE: You мегег!? You weren't. That's 
why were hoping maybe you saw. See, a 
lot af these puppets weren't there, but they 
got ta see what happened. 

sor: Well, | saw a lot of fighting. 
MACFARLANE: | bet you can help us a lot, 
thaugh, ‘cause, like, naked movie stor is a 
simple game, because we know abaut that 
gome, ‘cause we just have had, had twen- 
ty kids told us about that game. Just this 


ТЕ ми: -MOVIE-STAR GAME 


AND | 


- DETECTIVE DOG 


morning. о little girl came in and played it 
for us and sang it just like that. Do you 
think if | osked you a question, you could 
put your thinking cop on ond you might 
remember, Mr. Alligotor? 
sov: Maybe. 
macrastane: You could nod your head yes 
or na. Can you remember who took the 
pictures far the noked-movie-stor gome? 
That would be a great thing ta feed inta 
the secret machine [the videa comera), 
and then it would be all gone, just like cll 
the other kids did. You can just nod 
whether you remember or nat, see how 
good your memory is. 
sor: [Nads puppet’s head] 
macrastane: You do? Well, that's remark- 
able. | wonder if you cauld hold a pointer 
in your mouth, and then you wouldn't have 
ta say a word and [bay] wouldn't have ta 
say a word. And you could just point. 
sor: [Places pretend camera an adult male 
nude Чой using ойдуокл puppet] Some- 
times he did. 
moc rastane: Can 1 pat you on the head for 
that? Look what a big help you con be. 
You're gaing ta help oll these little chil- 
dren, because you're so smart. . . . OK, 
SE Kerle 
pictures? 
sor: Well, 
played: 
MACFARLANE: Mr. Alligator, I'm going to— 
going to ask you samething here. Now, 
we already found out from the other kids 
that it was а real camera, so you dort 
have to pretend, OK? Is that a decl? 
sor: Well, I havertt seen any real comera. 
macrastane: How about something that 
goes flash, remember that? I bet if you're. 
smart, yau better put your thinking 
sor: Yes, it wos o play camera thot we 
ployed with. 
MACFARLANE: Oh, and it went flash? 
sor: Well, it didn’t exactly ос flash. 
MACFARLANE: It didrft exactly go flash. Went 
click? Did little pictures go zip, come out 
of it? 
вот: I don't remember that. 
MACFARLANE: Oh, you don't remember that. 
Well, you're doing pretty good, Mr. Alli- 
gator. | got to shake your hand. 

Dr. Astrid Heger interviews о six-year- 
ald girl. 
несін: Maybe you could show me with this, 
with this doll [puts hand an twa dalls, ane 


wasnt a real camera. We just 


naked, one dressed] how 
the kids danced for the 
naked movie star. 

Gm: They didn't really 
dance. It was just, like, а 
song. 

mom: Well, whot did 
they do when they sang 
the song? 

cmi They just went around singing the 
song. 

несв: They just went around ond sang the 
song? 

ст: [Nods her heod] 

несе: And they didnt take their clothes 
off? 

‘om: [Shakes her head] 

нес: | heard that, | heard from several 
different kids that they took their clathes 
off. 1 think that [first classmate] told me 
that. | know that [second classmate] told 
me that. I know that [third classmate] tald 
me. [Fourth classmate] and [fifth class- 
mate] all told me that. That's kind of a 
hard secret, its kind of a yucky secret ta 
talk of—but, maybe, we could see if we 
could find —— 

от: Nat that | remember. 

reom: This is my fovorite puppet right 
here. [Picks up a bird puppet] You wonna 
be this puppet? OK. Then | get to be De- 
lective Dog. » = . [know thal we're gonia 
figure this aut — ol this stuff out right now. 
Were ganna just figure it cll out. OK, 
when thot tricky part about touching the 
kids was going on, could you toke а 
pointer іп your mouth ond point 
an the, on the doll aver here, on either 
‘one of these dolls, where, where the kids 
were tauched? Could усо do that? 

ст. 1 дот? know. 

несв: | know that the kids were touched. 
Let's see if we can figure that out. 

Gt: | дот? know. 

несв: You dont know where they were 
touched? 

cut: Uh-uh. [Shakes her head] 

несв: Well, same of the kids told me that 
they were touched sometimes. They said 
that it wos, it kinda, sometimes it kinda 
hurt. And some of the times, it felt pretty 
good. Da yau remember that touching 
‚game that went on? 

ст: Мо. 

несв: OK. Let me see if we con try some- 
thing else and —— 

ст: Wheeee! [Spins the puppet above her 


head] 

неон: Come on, bird, get dawn here and 
help us aut here. 

ст: No. 

rec: [Girl] is having о hard time talking. 
1 dort wanna heor any more noes. No no, 
Detective Dog and we're gonna figure this 
out. 


A FORUM SPECIAL REPORT 


49 


SEX ADDICTS 
Despite Marty Kleins asser- 
tions to the contrary (“The Em- 
perors New Addiction, The 
Playboy Forum, March), addicts 
do take responsibility for their 
behavior. The only qualification 
g a recovery group is 
to stop compulsive 
thus, personal re- 
sponsibility is the foundation of 
recovery from addiction. Addicts 
stay in recovery because of the 
fellowship recovery groups offer. 
Often, those friendships are the 
first real relationships addicts 
have ever had. Furthermore, 
addicts love being in recovery 
simply because the alternative 
for most is personal turmoil, sor- 
row and possibly even prison or 
institutionalization. 

Addicts are, indeed, powerless 
over their addictions. It is a para- 
dox of recovery programs that 
only by admitting to being pow- 
erless does one arrive at libera- 
tion and gain strength and 
serenity Recovery programs 
have helped millions of addicts, 
quietly, anonymously and inex- 
pensively. When Klein's type of 
therapy can claim the same, I'll 
be more inclined to listen. 
(Name and address 

withheld by request) 


While 1 appreciate Marty 
Klein's distress over the concept 
of sexual and emotional addic- 
tion, itis dangerous to infer from 
his article that all addiction sup- 
port groups are the same. 

Larry Le Blond 

Youngstown, New York 


I enjoyed Marty Klein's article 
about sex addiction. Here are a 
few more addictions to add to the 
growing list of bad habits in 
which Americans are apparently 
engaged: to a lover, to television, 
to exercise, to shopping, to work, 


In pem February 1990, the Soviet Communist 
Party, led by Mikhail Gorbachev, issued a new plat- 


form. We thought the following passages were worth 


repeating, Perhaps someone will send а copy to the Re- | 


publican and Democratic platform committees. 

The party seeks to place man in the center of 
social development, providing him with worthy 
living and working conditions, guaranteeing 
him social justice, political liberty and possibilities 
for comprehensive development and spiritual ful- 
fillment, and regards this as its main goal. This is 
exactly what should determine social progress. . . . 

The party will uphold: 

Reliable legislative protection of a citizer's per- 
sonality and honor, the immunity of his home and 
property, the secrecy of correspondence and tele- 
phone conversations. .. . 

‘The development and strengthening of the po- 
litical rights of citizens: participation in running 
the affairs of society and the state, freedom of 
speech, the press, meetings and demonstrations 
and the formation of public organizations. Law 
and order and requirements of Soviet laws should 
be strictly observed. 

Freedom for creative activities and attitude to 
talent as a national asset. 


| 
| 
| 


self-propaganda of recovery 
groupies and start looking at 
research. 

T Cunningham 

San Francisco, California 


Marty Klein states that “in my 
nine years as a sex thera- 
різ... I've never treated a sin- 
gle sex addict” What about 
pederasts, sexual sadists and 
rapists, who hurt others in the 
pursuit of sex? 


, Louisiana 
Those people aren't sex addicts — 
they're criminals. 


SEXUAL FREEDOM 
“The Search for Sexual Free- 
dom” (The Playboy Forum, Febru- 
ary) describes the case of a 
Georgia man who performed 
oral sex on his wife and was аг- 
rested and sentenced to prison. 
“Sodomy Circus” (The Playboy 
Forum, April) describes the case 
of a man who received oral sex 
from his girlfriend. He was ar- 
rested and sent to prison. 1 dont 
believe that anyone should be ar- 
rested for performing or receiv- 
ing oral sex, but let's at least have 
some fairness in our absurdities. 

Paul Christian 
Russellville, Arkansas 


POPULATION SPECULATION 

I have followed with interest 
and concern the abortion debate 
in The Playboy Forum. And the 
single most persuasive argument 
in favor of choice has been ig- 
nored; that is, that our planet 
cannot sustain the rising level of 
global population. The earth's 
resources are already stretched 
to the limit, due not only to our 
mismanagement of them but also 
to the marked increase in popu- 
lation. Hence, the question of 
when life begins is irrelevant as 


to video games, to computer hacking. to 
spending money, to religion, to using tan- 
ning machines, to treatment of infert 
to eating. to noise. 


It used to be said that some people 
were neurotic or compulsive or just a lit- 
Че odd—now we say they're addicts. 

M. Hall 

Pierre, South Dakota 


Very little is known about the long- 
term effectiveness of addiction therapy. 
Some studies indicate that a brief coun- 
seling session for an alcoholic is just as 
effective as months of treatment. Recov- 
ery groups actually perpetuate addi 
behavior by telling the addict that he has 
a disease that cannot be cured, only con- 
trolled. We need to stop relying on the 


well as unanswerable. 

I would never advocate denying peo- 
ple the right to reproduce. However, un- 
less we keep а check on our natural 
resources vis-a-vis our population, we 
will destroy that which sustains us—our 
planet. Some people charge that 
provide. If that is so, why do 
Africans die of starvation? To be pro-life 


R E 5 


on the issue of abortion is, in the long 


Dr. Jerold James Gordon 
Cardiff, Wales 


DRUG BOUNTIES 
There's money in them thar hills and 
people are already cashing in—without 
Congressman Dick Schulze's misguided 
proposal ("Wanted: Bounty Huntei 
The Playboy Forum, March). Private in- 
vestigators Dan Hanks (an ex-con) and 
Fred Valis sell information about drug 
dealers to drug-enforcement agents. They 
earn $40,000 to $1,000,000 per year from 
reward money and from a cut of the cash 
seized from drug dealers. Currently, 
Hanks and Valis are peddling their story 
to Hollywood and—no surprise—there's 

talk of a made-for-TV movie, 

Х Daniels 

Los Angeles, California 


МІСЕ AND MOLESTERS 
1f I had it to do over again, Га major in 
psychology, with an emphasis on sex ther- 
apy. My couch—and bank account— 
would always be full. Maybe that’s why I 
havent heard many people in that pro- 
fession speak out about the possible harm 
that an ineptly taught course about mo- 
lestation can do toa child. When will the 
people who teach those courses learn to 
stop blindly experimenting with the 
minds of children? 
Robert E. Tabor 
Miami, Florida 


X-RATED VIDEOS 
Despite the Reverend Donald Wild- 


tion's pressure tactics—which init 
seemed to make a dent in hard-core- 
video sales—X-rated film sales are on the 
rise. Analysts think that a deluge of low- 
budget, unimaginative film fare caused 
more harm to the video business than did 
the porno protesters. Now that there is a 
greater effort to appeal to couples, quali- 
ty is improving and much of the bondage 
and sexual violence has been dropped, 
sales are increasing. Maybe film makers 
read “The Last Taboo,” by Ron Kirkby, 
Ph.D. (The Playboy Forum, May 1989). 
and decided to change their ways. 
about time. 


R. Pierce 
New York, New York 


Make your voice heard on issues of the 
day. Dial The Playboy Mailbox, 1-900-740- 
3311, and leave your comments; only two 
dollars per minute. 


When law goes to bed with 
sex, the offspring belong in a 
freak show. Reading from East 
to West: 

virainu: The Supreme Court of 
Virginia, where premarital sex 
is a crime, has rejected the 
claim of a woman who sued her 
ex-husband for $2,500,000 for 
allegedly infecting her with 
herpes three weeks before they 
were married. The court ruled 
unanimously that she was not 
entitled to damages because 
she contracted the disease as “a 
participant in the unlawful act 
of fornication.” As a general 
rule, the court stated, "а party 
who consents to and partici- 
pares In an immoral or illegal 
act cannot recover damages for 
the consequences of that act.” 

WEST VIRGINIA: Senator Charlotte 
Pritt has given her colleagues in 
the state legislature plenty to 
think about with the introduc- 
tion of two remarkable bills. 
One calls for sterilizing a person 
who falls а year behind in child- 
support payments, another 
would require a spouse's writ- 
ten consent before a man could 
obtain a vasectomy—unless the 
operation “is necessary to save 
the man’s life.” 

скоои: The House of Represent- 
atives has been called upon to 
debate what the press has 
called “dueling sodomy bills,” 
one introduced by 34-year-old 
representative Cynthia McKin- 
ney, the other by her 63-year- 
old father, representative Billy 
McKinney. Both bills are intend- 
ed to liberalize the state's sex 
law, but the younger McKin- 
ney's would legalize all private 
sexual behavior between con- 
senting adults, while her fa- 
thers would exempt only 


heterosexuals. The two legisla- 
tors live in the same house, han- 
Ше their disagreement with 
good-natured exasperation and 
are known to their colleagues as 
Pretty McKinney and Ugly Mc- 
Kinney. 

texas: Thanks to a state law 
that makes homosexual acts il- 
legal, the Texas Department of 
Health cannot grant education 
funds to a Latino homosexual 
organization in Austin that has 
been leading the fight against 
AIDS—because another state 
law forbids AIDS funding for 
any groups that “advocate or 
promote” illegal acts. 

wisconsin: State representative 
Peter Bock has Introduced а bill 
that would allow police to seize 
and sell the vehicles of either 
hookers or Johns convicted of 
having illegal sex in the car. A 
resolution to the bill urges 
newspapers to publish the 
names of people found guilty of 
prostitution. 

wasınoron. im perhaps the 
goofiest scheme of all, some 
influential senators in the state 
of Washington have proposed 
outlawing all “sexual contact” 
for anybody under the age of 
1B. Since the term sexual con- 
tact is legally defined as “any 
touching of the sexual or other 
intimate parts of a person done 
for the purpose of gratifying the 
sexual desire of either party,” 
the law could make it a crime 
for teenagers to neck. The bill's 
Sponsors argue that а healthy 
respect for the law would deter 
many teenagers from having 
sex and possibly contracting 
AIDS or would conveniently 
serve as the “excuse they can 
use if they don't want to do 


m" —WILLAM з HELMER 


51 


N E W S ЕК ON Т 


what's happening in the sexual and social arenas 


FROM COLD WAR ТО PRICE WAR 


WEST BERLIN—Since the Berlin Wall 
came tumbling down, East German pros- 
titutes have been invading West Berlin 
and roiling the local hookers by undercut- 


ting the price of sex. The Commie prosti- 
tutes have been raking in West Germany's 
more valuable currency by charging only 
50 Deutsche marks for services that usu- 
ally cost three times as much. 


YOU WONT FEEL A THING 


LonDon— While rogue dentists have 
been known to take advantage of female 
patients when they've been knocked out for 
dentalwork, its also possible for the Val 
ium type of drugs used in dentistry to in 
duce sexual fantasies. Writing in the 
British medical journal Lancet, attorney 
Diana Brahams cited 42 instances in 
which women imagined sexual fondling 
while sedated by benzodiazepines and then 
wrongly accused their dentists of working 
on more than their teeth. 


- PU AND POLITICS — 


WASHINGTON. nc — The Drug Enforce- 
ment Administration lest the ваше but 
won the war against the use of marijuana 
for medical purposes. The National Or- 
ganization for the Reform of Marijuana 
Laws (NORML) filed suit in 1972 to re- 
classify marijuana from an illegal drug to 
а prescription drug. The DEAS chief ad- 
ministrative law judge has endorsed the 


proposal. However, the DEA is not bound 
by any decision but its own and ut rejected 
the recommendation to upgrade the drug. 
NORML has appealed to the District of 
Columbia Court of Appeals. 


- URINE A HEAP OF TROUBLE 


EHICAGO— Saint Sabinas, a Catholic 
grade school on Chicagos South Side, has 
become, it is believed, the countrys first 
elementary school to introduce random 
drug testing of its students. “The ap- 
proach we've taken is that we're family 
and we're doing this because of love,” ex- 
plained the school’s parish pastor. Federal 
law prohibits public schools from randomly 
drug-testing students other than athletes. 

In its own crackdown on drugs, the 
U.S. Navy has abandoned its “second 
chance” policy for recruits who lest posi- 
live for marijuana. “You test positive— 
youre gone,” said the Navys chief of per- 
sonnel. One strike—youre out is already 
the policy for recruits who test розите for 
cocaine und other illegal drugs. 


BALTINORE—To the annoyance of anti- 
abortionists, a Federally financed study of 
inner-city teenage girls has found that 
those who have abortions do better in 
school, are more likely to graduate, are 
better off economically and seem to have 
fewer emotional problems two years after 
their abortions than those girls who choose 
to bear children. The researchers also 
found that the girls who had abortions 
were more likely than those who didn't to 
begin using birth control consistently in 
order to avoid subsequent pregnancies. 


- SUPPY-SIDEECONOMICS — 


ANDERSON, SOUTH. CAROLINA —Ínspired 
by a Federal program that rewards 
informants, Anderson County sheriff. 
Gene Taylor is offering citizens up lo 25 
percent of any money or assets seized from 
а drug dealer if they help convict the per- 
son who sells them illegal drugs. Says 
Sheriff Taylor, “I want people to realize 
they can make some really good money, de- 
pending on how much they cooperate.” 
Participants can either be confidential in- 
formants or testify in court. Those who 
testify will probably earn more. A local ad- 
werlising company has donated space on 
15 billboards to carry the message NEED 


CASH? TURN IN A DOPE DEALER. "I. realize 
this program won't appeal to the majority 
of people in Anderson County,” Taylor 
said. “This is for the person who really 
wants lo get involved.” 


BUY THE POUND 


WASHINGTON. pe —Ambassadors from 
Colombia, Bolivia and Peru have joined 
in proposing that the “war on drugs” be 
fought with brains instead of bullets. The 
envoys told a Senate Judiciary Committee 
that the United States could save itself a 
lot of money and their countries a lot of 
grief by simply buying the coca-leaf crop 
al the same low prices now paid by the co- 
caine cartels—and then destroying it. 

Meanwhile, despite drug-war cfforts, 
cocaine production is 54 percent higher 
than previously estimated and its prices 
have not risen in four years. 


DIRTY DANCING ~ 


CHAMPAIGN, пллмове- А University of 
Illinois task force on campus rape has тес- 
ommended abolition of the school’s cheer- 
leading squad of pompon girls because it 
“projects women as sexual objects.” The 
director of the Illini marching band 


said that the groups critics are the ones 
who are being sexist. The Chicago Trib- 
une agreed in an editorial: “They dont 
perform ‘Swan Lake, but neither do they 
inflame males. The old blame-the-rape- 
victim mentality is best left to the past." 


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12 oz. unsweetened pineapple juice 
` large ice cubes, crushed 
` Blend all ingredients until ice is 
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is frothy. Serve in a tall glass over 
ice and garnish with a cherry. 
Makes four eight-ounce drinks. 


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YOUR CHOICE OF A CIGARETTE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU. 
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Reporters Notebook 


SUCH UNHOLY BUSINESS 


father bruce ritter, antiporn zealot and champion 
of the homeless, makes moralism look shabby 


He was like a character out of one of 
those old Hollywood movies about the 
tough priest with a heart of gold who bat- 
ues to save kids on the streets of Hell's 
Kitchen. His work was lavishly praised by 
Presidents Reagan and Bush. Both visited 
his shelter in mid-Manhattan and made 
sound like a good thing that Father Bruce 
егі privately funded program repre- 
sented three times the entire Federal 
budget to help these troubled youths. Rea- 
gan, ever the blceding-heart conservative, 
was not inspired to increase the Federal 
outlay, but in one of those moral non se- 
quiturs typical of his Administration, At- 
ney General Edwin Meese appointed 
Ritter to the National Commission оп 
Pornography. 

Now Ritter has been forced to resign 
disgrace as head of the $87,000,000-a-y 
Covenant House program he founded. Ac- 
cused of the homosexual seduction of mi- 
nors and of reportedly authorizing the 
forging of identity papers, this favorite of 
Presidents is now pursued by the New York 
State attorney general and his superiors in 
the Franciscan order. Lite sure does have 
its ironies 

If anyone had told me during the days of 
the Meese pornography circus that Ritter 
would stand accused by three former 


ation, | never would have bel 
it. Nor could 1 have imagined Ritte 
ing the hearings in New Orleans 
now admits, to have dinner with the likes 
ican, who claims that the priest 
seduced him when he first went 10 С 
enant House as a 13-year-old runaway. 


ght not be viewed 
nless crime, lectured me on the 
domino effect that leads 
whacking off to gang rape. Only a sick 
mind would think differently, said Ritter. 
The man was, however, consistent with 
purist, no-nonsense stand against all of 
it—sex, that is, unless it had to do with 
married couples making babies. He op- 
posed all erotica, which he defined as the 


as а “necessary 
ing toward procreation. 

The other members of Meese's commi: 
sion attempted to pussyfoot on the sex-is 


opinion By ROBERT SCHEER 


evil line, laboring to distinguish between 
erotica that is harmful Y 
As expected, they hed about 
swamp of pseudo-s епсе data while 
Ritter took the high road of divine inspira- 
tion. “I would say pornography is im- 
moral,” Ritter stated matter-of-factly at 
one commission hearing, “and the source 
of my statement is God, not social science.” 
Since God has made it clear to Ritter 
that sex is only for procreation—what he 
called “the sacredness of sex itself —then 
any attempt to excite sexual passions for 
any other purpose is harmful. “To con- 
clude otherwise, I fear,” Ritter wrote in the 
sions final report, “is to legitimate 
the existence of a group of materials that 
some would call ‘erotica,’ would in effect 
license as permissible and presum 
nonprosecutable, a large class of si y 
explicit materials designed to arouse, that 
would all too easily send the clear message 
that the primary purpose of sex is for he- 
donistic, selfishly solipsistic satisfaction. 
Ah, life is simple for this man, I thought, 
watching him at hearings across the coun- 
шу nodding confidently to his aide-de- 
camp lawyer, Gregory Loken, disper 
just the right legal wording to pre 
would-be pornographer from “red 
human sexual behavior to the level of its 
animal components.” As one who can get 
to that level fairly quickly, I confess to a 
twinge of envy as I watched those two 
perturbable representatives of the inqui- 
t nonplused through days of 
ing of the hot parts of hundreds of 
unchy movies. One memorable scene 
dealt with, as the Kentucky State trooper 
who had confiscated that movie put it, “a 
priest committing fellatio on a horse.” 
Surely, that would get a flicker of either tit- 
illation or shock out of them; but no, the 
priest and his lawyer seemed above it all. 
But now that same lawyer, according to 
The New York Times, has admitted to oth- 
ers in Covenant House that he helped ob- 
tain fake identity papers for one Kevin Lee 
Kite, who claims that Rit lavished 
$25,000 in Cov t House funds on him 
return for sexual favors. To put it mildly, 
5 The New York Times did, "How М, te 
took the name of Timothy Michael 
Warner, a boy who had died nine years car- 
lier of leukemia, is a convoluted account 
involving secret calls to an Upstate church, 
a forged signature, a mysterious birth cer- 


Uficate, an appropriated Social Security 
number and admission to college for a 
young man with no high school record.” 
Ritter, of course, is to be presumed inno- 
cent until proven guilty, but it is fair to note 
that in his days on the commission, he nex- 
er appeared to extend that tolerance to 
others. He acted then as опе of those who 
believe bad things happen only to bad peo- 
ple. His was that look of the inquisitor 
whenever some hapless artist, bookseller 
erties lawyer went before him to 


ad been unfair. 
ys thought guilty until 
nd the majority 


proven innocent by Ritter 
of the pornograph 
anywhere claimed that some picture or 
text drove him to reprehensible acts, it was 
solemnly accepted as del 
all such material should be 
defense was reduced to. attempting 10 
prove the impossible—that no one could 
ever look at the picture in question and 
then not go on to perform antisocial acts 

Do I exaggerate? Let me offer only the 
testimony of mystery witness “Bill,” who 
са to be the third child of a police 
officer, who was raised in а Chr 1 hon 
d who went astray when "Hustler be- 
ic my bible.” He conceded that he was 
drunk when he committed “oral sodomy” 
two young friends of his daughters 
while they slept, but the commission was 
not interested. 

“Bill, do you think that you could de- 
scribe pornography as the match that 
lighted the fuse to the explosive?” Ritter 
asked, and the hapless replied dutiful- 
ly in the 


D 


ijority of the commis- 
sion were so eager to conviet that any shred 
of evidence associating erotica with crime 
was sufficient. And in the real world of 
the courts, that is the sort of argument 
that can send a bookseller, moviemaker 
or writer to jail. Nothing more than guilt 
by association. 

Which is a point Riuer may currently 
derstand a bit better. The press on h 
has read like a bad plot from one of the 
low-budget X-rated videos that members 
of the commission used to watch ad nause- 
ат. Behind the veil of an offering of sanc- 
ш зе program, 
seduced imo а life of 
(continued on page 169) 


homosexual 


ISYY ON 
11541 HLDOWS 


INTRODUCING BUD DRY. 


Louis Mo 


Busch Inc., St 


PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: “THIRTYSOMETHING” 


a candid conversation about joys, pains and incessant talk with 


the creators and cast 


of the show everyone 


loves to whine about 


You find it on prime lime. On reruns. In 
commercials. In critical essays. In therapy 
groups. In the language. (Yes, one word and 
uncapitalized.) In jokes (“What is Yuppie 
oral sex?" “Sixtysomelhing”). In the culture. 
Indeed, when was the last time the name of a 
TV show came to represent an entire sensibili- 
ty, if not an entire generation? 

For better or for worse—and sometimes for 
better and for worse—“turtysomething” is 
seen as a mirror of the world in which many 
of us live. Some viewers believe il is their 
lives—if only their lives began each day with 
а riff from an acoustic guitar. 

The "thirtysometling" world is populated 
by men and women trying to grow up and to 
get by amid financial, familial and personal 
pressures. They confront lost jobs, betrayed 
secrets, aging parents and illness. It might be 
merely a hipper, better written soap opera if it 
weren't for the fact that it is not about these 
crises but about a group of people we've come 
to know as Hope and Michael, Elliot and 
Nancy, Melissa, Ellyn and Gary and their 
assorted friends, families and lovers. 

The people of "thirtwomething" are, in 
many ways. unextraordinary. which is what 
makes them extraordinary—for TV. They are 


characters many viewers believe they could 
know (albeil, as one of the shows writers 
points out, “better lit than the people we 
know”). They dont carry guns or spout gags 
to laugh tracks. Thats partly why, when Nan- 
cy was diagnosed as having cancer this sea- 
son, it wasn't merely as if a family member or 
a friend were in trouble—it was also covered 
in USA Today and The New York Times. 

“Thirtysomelhing” has come to be 
viewed—and adored and loathed—as the 
picture of the baby-boom generation, the gen- 
eration coming of age that is increasingly 
defining America—its leadership, its values. 
Those who hate the show write off Michael 
and his well-educated friends as materialistic 
Yuppies who whine about how hard it is to 
find а baby sitter. Those who love the show 
seem to think that the baby-sitter issue is a 
metaphor for how hard it actually is to bal- 
ance work, children, your relationship with 
your husband or wife and—why not?—the 
political ideals that once seemed more impor 
tant than anything else. 

Three years ago, film school friends Ed 
Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz were asked 
by MGM to make a television series. They 
were told they could do anything. First they 


considered a show about the dramas inside a 
Middle-Age castle. Then they decided to do a 
show about themselves. The result was a sur 
prise to critics and viewers used to car chases 
and sitcoms. Often these characters did noth- 
ing move than sit around the kitchen and 
talk. The conversation was good enough that 
the show went on to be nominated for a re- 
markable 22 Emmys in three years. 

“Thirtysomething,” at three, has become а 
Tuesday-night ritual for 30,000,000 Ameri- 
cans. Some of them hoot and make fun; others 
let the tears flow. Some say tt has affected the 
way they deal with their parents or with their 
children. Some have gone into therapy or 
couples counseling because of the show. 

But it’s not all traumatized children and 
heart-to-heart talks about infidelity. There is 
а sophisticated wit thal sears modern times 
with a deft eye. In fact, the attention to detail 
is a trademark of the show. In a meeting of 
producers, writers and other principals, а 
production designer brought in paint samples 
to ash for opinions on what color the Stead- 
mans’ kitchen should be painted. Here is а 
partial transcript of the discussion that еп- 
sued: 

“I'm not happy with any of these colors for 


enny and I are incredibly close 
partners. We carry our relationship from off 
camera lo on camera. And, of course, I lie in 
bed with no clothes on with his wife.” 


MAYRON: “Polly апа 1 live around the corner 
from each other. Sometimes we have garage 
sales. Once, I turned to Polly and said, "Its so 
hirtysomething” I can't stand й. 


OUN: "I'm supposed to come up with some 
fucking answer about how I'm different from 
Michael? This is like rool canal. Well, 
thing, Michael doesn’t talk to the pre 


WETTIG: “The other day, I ordered a pizza. 
The person on Ше line said, ‘Is this Nancy?” 
T said, ‘No. He said, Ч recognize your voice. 


Its Nancy" 1 said, ‘Th 


s not Nancy." 


HORTON: "You can go to work and talk about. 
what happened on ‘thirtysomething.’ It’s safer 
than admitting something happened to you 
and that its you who is scared.” 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVIO MECEY 


DRAPER: “We were speaking for the silent mi- 
nority that asks, ‘Could 1 just please be single 
without everyone thinking theres something 
wrong with me?" We got a іші of response.” 


57 


PLAYBOY 


the kitchen, but 1 wanted lo bring it up.” 

“Well, the yellow is going to hurt us for all 
sorts of night shots.” 

“That’s a bad idea. What are the other 
choices? The peaches and the blues?” 

“Yes. The peaches and blues.” 

“How about a stencil around the border?” 

“It would have to be motivated. What na- 
ture of stencil?” 

“Nol to overstencil." 

“I just fear Ше magazine look.” 

“You know, its weird. These Steadmans 
never get their shit logether in their home.” 

“Will they ever fi the kitchen?” 

“If they do, something else will happen: 
The floors will start buckling or something, 
so as to keep it іп а constant state of disorder. 
Thats а metaphor for us." 

As Ше national love-hate debate about 
“thirtysomething” reached a pitch (which in 
itself was very “thirtysomething,” which fur- 
ther enraged the haters), Playboy sent Con- 
tributing Edilor David Sheff (with an 
important assist from free-lancer Amy Ren- 
nert) to infiltrate the lives of the show's seven 
principal actors and its two cocrealors. It’s 
ошу the fourth television-show-as-cultural- 
marker to be featured as a group “Playboy In- 
tervieu," following "Saturday Night Live" in 
1977, “Hill Street Blues” in 1983 and “60 
Minutes” in 1985. Sheff’s report: 

“1 flew to L.A. and checked into ту hotel. 
The next morning, the digital alarm clock 
woke me up with a shrill scream. While 1 
wailed for a cappuccino and prepared a cou- 
ple of memos to send out on the hotel fax, 1 
called New York to talk to the woman who 
тау or may not be my girlfriend. We dis- 
cussed our feelings. 

"Next, I called my son at his mother’s 
house, where he was spending the holiday. He 
asked me if, instead of taking Spanish, which 
they offer at his private school, he could take 
Klingon. 

“Оп my way to the studio, I stopped at an 
instant teller for some cash and then at a pay 
phone, where 1 used my phone card to call my 
home answering machine lo check in for mes- 
sages 

“Another ‘thirtysomething’ morning. lt was 
enough to make me want to go out and punch 


ж-қ 


ZWICK: "(The show's voice comes] from cer- 
tain college dining halls or dorms—and has 
all sorts of literary antecedents, How abor 
Joseph Heller by way of Ingmar Bergman?” 


a few people, drink a few American beers 
апа, most of all, be veal insensitive lo my fam- 
ily and friends. 

“Instead, 1 headed to the set of the show 
that is making my life a parody. 

“In the ‘thirtysomething’ offices, one of the 
two Debs (Petra and Yates) who work there of- 
fered me coffee and raisin bagels and cream 
cheese. There is a hoop and a small baskei- 
ball, computers on desks, a Santa Fe—blue 
coffee table (upon it: The Wall Street Jour- 
nal, Journal of Film and Video and Psy- 
chology Today), an оай-ор desk and oak 
shelves. On a shelf is a prop from a Saturday 
Night Live’ skit: Yhirtysomething' breakfast 
Cereal. WIN A VOLVO: DETAILS ON BACK. 

“The interview began with a session with 
Zwick and Herskovitz, who oversee every de- 
tail of ‘thirtysomething. 

“Zwick and Herskoviz have been а team 
since film school. Since then, they have 


“His character slipped 
from grace briefly when 
he tried to persuade Hope 

not to use her diaphragm. 
TU pull out, he told hex. 
On prime time.” 


written and directed for the TV show ‘Family’ 
and have made movies together, including the 
make-believe television docudrama ‘Special 
Bulletin, which won several Emmys. Zwick, 
who has ringlets of hair and а beard so black 
its almost blue, wore Sian Smith sneakers. 
Herskovitz, fairhawred, wore Reeboks. He 
looked familiar... . Oh, yeah, he played the 
shrink in the famous marriage-counseling 
episode. And by the way, Zwick, who took 
some lime off from ‘thirtysomething’ this year 
lo direct ‘Glory, made his first film with а col- 
lege friend named Christie Hefner: For a set, 
they used her dads house, the Chicago 
Playboy Mansion. 

“Over the course of three weeks, as they 


HARRIS: “I don't think Um a lot like Hope. 1 
don't give ре such a long rope. Hopes 
married; I'm married. Hope has a kid; I have 
а kid. But Um tougher and shorter: 


filmed three episodes, we spoke for hours with 
Zwick and Herskovitz, as well as with the 
principal actors. For those who are still con- 
Sused, heres the cast of characters. 

“The guy with the red hair. Thats Elliot, 
played by Tim Busfield. Ву Busfield’s own ac- 
count, Elliot is the fuck-up of the gang, іш 
he has gotten lots of sympathy this season 
since his wife on the show has cancer. Elliot 
wears great hand-painted neckties. Busfield 
was seen in “Field of Dreams’ and ‘Revenge 
of the Nerds, is twice married and a father 
and runs ап award-winning children the- 
ater company he founded in Sacramento. 

‘The blonde wife. This character, Nancy, 
gets all the breaks, Her husband fools around 
on her, she finds out, they go to therapy, split 
up, get back together, deal with traumatized 
kids—and just when things are finally going 
OK, she gets cancer. All this has been a chal- 
lenge to the actress who plays her, Patricia 
Wettig. She has acted on stage and in TV 
movies. Wettig is married, in real life, not 
to EllioUBusfield but to Michael/Ken Olin. 
They met in а production of “A Streetcar 
Named Desire." 

You know—Mx Perfect. This guy, 
Michael Steadman, gives the rest of us men а 
bad name. His business falls apart, his father 
dies, his wife gives him dirty looks when hes 
just trying to make an honest buck, yet he al- 
ways remembers to say and do the right lung. 
In veal life, he is Ken Olin, a “Hill Street 
Blues’ alumnus. His character slipped from 
grace briefly when he was trying to persuade 
Hope not to use her diaphragm. ГІ pull out, 
he told her. On prime time 

“Mrs. Perfect. He didn't pull out. Hope 
Steadman is pregnant again, Not only is 
Hope the perfect mom, an understanding and 
supportive wife and, incidentally, benutiful, 
she has the right politics, шо. Mel Harris’ 
real-life husband is Cotter Smith, a star of 
"Equal Justice, a new ABC series. She has re- 
cently been seen in several. made-for-TV 
movies, including one in which she played a 
victim of the Ku Klux Klan. 

“The gal with the gravelly voice. In one 


episode, we learn that Ellyn has a tattoo on 


HERSKOVITZ: “The show has a tendency to 
validate peoples private experiences. I can 
make them feel that a situation that is very 
painful is actually shared by many people.” 


E Ouen Wi ІШІ 
Our OF His SUIT FASTER. ~ 


BUGLE BOY MEN'S 


A COMPLETE LINE OF CASUAL CLOTHING FOR MEN. 


PLAYBOY 


one lower cheek, which was great news. Polly 
Draper, a veteran of the theater, wore а cow- 
boy shirt during our interview. We discovered 
that she has an endearing way of not 
finishing her—well, sort of like—oh, ah, 
well, never mind. 

he one with the cute, crooked smile. It 


was a very hot moment when Melissa de- 
scribed how it felt to be with her new, younger 
stud boyfriend. ‘And [when] hes inside me, 


* Both Melissa and the 


she said, ‘it’s like. 


woman who plays her, Melanie Mayron, are 
pholographers and single. Mayron used to 
appear in TV movies as а much heavier per- 
son. When she recently appeared in а scene іп 
а bathing suit, guys on the set whistled and 
slomped. Very un'thirtysomething' ‘Oh, guys 


in flannel shirts and Ban-Lon . . . she said. 
“The guy with ай the Mond hair. When 1 
met Peter Нопоп al a trendy restaurant in 
Santa Monica (Busfield said the place was 
for ‘Yuppie bastards’), he was fulminating 
about President Bushs foreign policy when 
two small children at the next table started 
crying louder and louder until we couldn't 
hear each other without shouting. Horton 
threw up his hands: ‘Did Marshall and Ed 
write this?” He has directed some of ‘thirty- 
something! best episodes, was crowned one of 
Us magazine ten sexiest bachelors and was 
married to Michelle Pfeiffer 

“Now that we know the players, join us as 
we enter their lives and discover the answers 


to these and other existential questions: Will 
Melissa be able to handle the fact that her 


stud boyfriend, no matter how good in bed, is 
a decade younger than she? Will Ellyn’s latest 
leave his wife for her? Will Gary give up his 
bachelor life to marry his girlfriend, mother 
of his baby? Will Michael continue to sell out 
to wonderfully evil adman Miles Drentell? 
Will Hope—perfect, pregnant Hope—do 
something about those glances shes been 
throwing at a political activist? Will Nancy 
die of cancer? And—most important—what 
color will the Steadmans paint their kitchen? 
Stay tuned.” 


PLAYBOY: What's the biggest difference be- 
tween thirtysomething and the rest of televi- 
sion? 

HERSKOVITZ (cocreator): 1 would say that 
we're the only show that takes the depiction 
of reality as one of our central aims. 
PLAYBOY: But isn't the general wisdom that 
television and reality are a contradiction in 
terms—that TV is all about escape? 
HERSKOVITZ: It’s absolutely proven that, 
generally, people don't want to see reality 
on television. Tele 
escapist. People have difficult days, they қо 
home and want to be entertained. That's 
true of me, as well 

PLAYBOY: So you hit them with anxious cou- 
ples, failing businesses, ovarian cancer and 


ions role is basically 


baby-sitter problems 
HERSKOVITZ: Our point in coming up with 
thirtysomething was to suggest that maybe 
there is a place on television for the excep 


tion to the rule. I think its been a mistake. 


all along to think that just because stupid 
TV shows do well, intelligent shows can't 
do well. It just doesn't follow. 

[Herskovitz leaves to take a call.) 

PLAYBOY: Ed, do you believe thirtysomething 
proves that people actually want to see 
real-life problems on TV? 
ZWICK (cocreator): ИЗ not just reality. This 
is not the Loud family. We are distilling re- 
ality, the way one reduces sauces. It be- 
comes more potent. We are giving the 
illusion of reality while using traditional 
structural elements of film: rising action, 
complication, climax and denouement. It 
takes some sleight of hand so the seams 
don't show. You're left with a sense of 
verisimilitude, but из calculated in dra- 
ic terms. 

[Herskovilz returns; Zwick continues | 

I'm just using all your ideas, Marshall, 
and making them into my own 
HERSKOVITZ: Almost everything he says, I 
thought of; almost everything 1 say, he 
thought of. 


ZWICK: We can finish each other's sen- 
tences 
HERSKOVITZ: And often do. 


PLAYBOY: How truc to life is the sense of 
community on the 


iow? You have seven 
main characters who are constantly drop- 
ping in on one another—are friendships 
like that? 

BUSFIELD (Elliot) don't have 
time for friends. 1 dont want any more 
friends. With the children's theater Im 


Personally, 1 


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involved in, the TV series, directing an 
episode, other acting projects and a wife 
and two kids 1 don't give enough attention 
to, whe n | going to find time to stop by 
Ken Olin's house and stick my head into 
chen and say, "Hey, guys, what are 
?"—and then stay around to 
hang out in their laundry room for three 
hours? 

Kenny and Patty are probably my best 
friends on a day-to-day basis, and they've 
had this new house for about a year—but 
I've never been there. В 
MAYRON (Melissa): That's a big part of the 
appeal of the show, I think: the unreal nu- 
clear family, which is a substitute for the 
real nuclear family everybody yearns for. 
Um in L-A., my parents are in Philadel- 
phia, everyone is 
scattered... . 
HORTON (Gary): In 
the darker ages, the 
average person mel 
a hundred people in 
a lifetime and there 
was, consequently, a 
lifetime of intimacy 
What's happened 
now is you see 
a hundred people 
when you turn your 
TV on or when you 
drive to work. It's 
so overwhelmingly 
vast that it's hard to 
find a sense of com- 
munity There is 
now the tendency to 
go through апу- 
thing—a divorce, a 
death—alone, feel- 
ing that you're the 
only one who has 
the problem. Thirty- 
something provides a 
sort of community 
center. We can laugh 
at ourselves in that 
same intimate way. 
The show provides 
us with a connection 
to one another. You 
can go to work and 
talk about what hap- 
pened to characters 
on thirtysomething. Ws safer than admitting 
something happened to you and that it’s 
you who is scared. 

HERSKOVITZ: Early in the first season, my 
brother in Boston asked me, “Do your 
nds drop in like that all the time?” [ 
said, “Hell, no. Are you kidding: 
zwick: There other npses оГ 
ality in the show. I was on Nightwatch the 
other night. Off the air, Charlie Rose 
asked, “Do you think the characters on 
thirtysomething stay up late enough to 
watch Nightwaich?" and 1 said, “I don't 
think the characters on thirtysomething stay 
up late enough to watch thirtysomething” 

HARRIS (Hope): Г dont stay up that late. 


About all I watch is Ducktales occasionally 
in the afternoon with my son. 

PLAYBOY: Has this sense of a thirtysomelhing 
family spilled over into your private lives? 
MAYRON: In a way. Polly and 1 live around 
the corner from each other. Sometimes we 
have garage sales. Polly and I and a bunch 
of friends are standing there selling stuff. I 
remember once turning to Polly and say- 
ing, “It's so thirtysomething 1 can't stand it.” 
DRAPER (Ellyn): Yeah, and when that hap- 
pens, we know it would be so shirtysome- 
thing even if we weren't on the show. Since 
we are, it's even .. . weirder. 

MAYRON: A lot of us went to Patty’s birth- 
day party the other night at a restaurant. 
The whole restaurant was looking at us. 
DRAPER: I was the first one to leave. І heard 


“Life is short...” 


HIPPOCRATES 


people saying, “Look! There's Ken Olin!” 
“Is that Peter Horton?” Some guy said, 


said, “They look plastic to me” [Laughs] 
BUSFIELD: I didn’t go to the party, but Pm 
probably closer to them than ninety-nine 
percent of the people who did show up. 
Kenny and I, for instance, are incredibly 
close partners. He knows more about me 
than anybody else. Elliot and Michael are 
the main characters of thirtysomething and 
alotof that is because Ken and I are able to 
carry our relationship from off camera to 
on camera; people accept it as а real г 
tionship. And, of course, I lie in bed with 


no clothes on with his wife. 

PLAYBOY: By the way, why do you lie in bed 
with Ken's wife? Why do you think Кеп 
and Patty, married in real life, weren't cast 
that way? 

BUSFIELD: | think Ed and Marshall saw a 
strong leading Jewish man with your clas- 
sic goyim babe, which is who they're both 
married 10 (laughs] —great-looking WASP 
women. Patty was a cheerleader jock. She's 
not right for Ken's wife. She would be mis- 
cast. 

PLAYBOY: Marshall, was it for the sake of 
creating some tension on the set or were 
there other reasons for not ca 
and Patty as a married couple? 
HERSKOVITZ: My wife and I had become 
friends with Ken and Patty because our 
Kids were in nursery 
school together. 
When we were cast- 
ing the pilot, their 
names came up on 
the casting list. Ken 
came in and read 
the part of Michael. 
Kenny is this hand- 
some, athletic guy— 
he looks so together, 
not at all how we 
visualized Michael. 
We originally зам 
him as kind of 
schlab. But we 
couldn't put Ken out 
of our minds; he 
was the guy. Patty 
came іп and read 
both Hopes рап 
and Nancys part— 
but she just wasnt 
Hope. Theres по 
other way to put it. 
She read Nancy so 
well that we never 
looked for another 
Nancy after we 
heard her. 

PLAYBOY: Ken and 
Patty, when we saw 
you together, it 
seemed for a mo- 
ment as if you were 
cheating on Hope 


sting Ken 


and Elliot. 
OUN (Michael): Thats just so fucking ridic- 
ulous! 
WETTIG (Nancy): We did get that for a few 
months, but people have gotien used to it 
BUSFIELD: I think the hardest part for Ken- 
ny inwatching me be married to his wife is 
that he knows Im a pervert. When Kenny 
and I went to Houston together years ago, 
1 was separated at the time and my major 
goal was to have sex as much as possible— 
ith as many women under the age of 
twenty- s I could. Two and a half years 
later, l'm in bed with Ken's wife and he's 
thinking, This is absolutely the last person 
in the world I would want doing love 


61 


PLAYBOY 


scenes with my e—because 1 know 
Busfield! 
PLAYBOY: Let's talk about the show's impact. 
thirtysomething influenced the kind of 
drama that's shown on television? 
BUSFIELD: Definitely. Steve Bochco brought 
continuing story lines into prime 
Hill Street Blues; Glenn Gordon Caron, in 
Moonlighting, showed how fast you can ac- 
tually talk in a TV show—how many jokes 
you can get into a thirty-second span and 
not have an audience get them until the 
next commercial; and Ed and Marshall 
have shown that you can go into relation- 
ships away from plot. You can talk! 
PLAYBOY: There's a unique voice to thirty- 
something. Where does it come from? 
Zwick: From certain college dining halls or 
dormitories—and it 
has all sorts of 
literary antecedents. 
How about Joseph 
Heller by way of 
Ingmar Bergman? 
HERSKOVITZ: And 
Woody Allen by way 
of Frank Capra. But 
Bergman was big 
for both of us. 
ZWICK: Scenes from a 
Marriage influenced 
me деер! 
BUSFIELD: Ed and 
Marshall think they 
are supposed to 
like Bergman when, 
in fact, they really 
like James Bond. 
I mean, Ed and 
Marshall did this ep- 
isode called House- 
warming. Now, what 
two guys wanted 
to play the roles 
of terrorists shoot- 
ing off the high- 
powered rifles? Ed 
and Marshall. They 
wrote it just so they 
could do it. When Ed 
Zwick leaves thirty- 
something for two 
minutes, what does 
he do? Direct Glory, 
a movie about the 
Civil W: 
ZWICK: The list of our influences goes on 
and on. Buñuel. The Herb Gardner plays 
such as A Thousand Clowns. French mov- 
ies. Ettore Scola, We All Loved Each Other 
So Much or any of those wonderful movies 
about the currency of relationships. We 
steal from everybody. Andre Dubus, Ann 
Beattie. Cheever. 
Woody Allen has det 
of beacon for both of 
BUSFIELD: It’s no wonder that when you lis- 
ten to these guys, you don't understand 
ninety percent of what they say. You need 
at least an M.B.A. or M.EA. I needed the 
Oxford English Dictionary to read the first 
scripts they wrote. [Laughs] 


tely been а kind 


PLAYBOY: Well, one criticism of thirtysome- 
thing is that it’s too ponderous. How do you 
respond? 

Zwick: | cop to being too ponderous 
on occasion. But I think we go to great 
lengths to try to leaven most of the 
more serious moments with some recogni- 
tion of absurdity. 

PLAYBOY: How about the criticism that you 
are obsessed with petty issues? 
HERSKOVITZ: I believe strongly that if you 
go into any home, offi station or fac- 
tory in America and get close enough to 
those people, you will find that they arc in- 
credibly upset about incredibly minor 
sues—so-and-so is getting more money, 
someone is being mean at home. . .. The 


“The time 
of life is sho 


SHAKESPEARE 


alled petty issues become the major 
ies in people's lives. 

HARRIS: Because even when we're dealing 
оп a very minute level, we're also dealing 
with the important things, the big issues. 
Sometimes what you're having for dinner 
in the middle of a crisis in a family situa- 
tion is what is important right then. 
WETTIG: There haye been criticisms that in 
the early shows, we weren't political or po- 
litically aware. “Come on, youre not 
ing cancer here, so why are you taking 
everything so seriously?" Well, I some- 
times wish that in my real life, I had that 
kind of perspective. Something of small 
scale can happen to me and | respond to it 
in а very full, emotional way. In an ideal- 


ized world, you would match the 
your emotions to the size of the ev 
thats not what people do, which is 
support the show. 

BUSFIELD: In the begi 
Hope fussed 


ning, Michael and 
bout things that were ridic 
lous to fuss about. Nancy and Elliot were 
dealing with bigger things—separation, 
their children. Its easier to be sympathetic 
to that than if the stroller is too much 
money. 


ras a show about Michael 
ma of having people over 
to the house for a dinner party Come 
on... But the show where Michael 
destructing? Thats cool to 
pregnant, thinking about having an af- 
fair? I like that а lot. Gary making 
take and а 
sleeping with Melis- 
sa? | like that, too. 
But Elliors kid won't 
come out of his 
room on Thanksgiv- 
ing? That's bulls 
kid, 


going to pull his 
teeth ош, dangle 
him from the гос 
but get him out of 
the room! 


DRAPER: You know 
why we're criticized 
more than other 
shows? Wcic nul 
about car chases or 
murders. And ev- 
erybody isan expert 


about relationships. 
Lawyers cither love 
or hate L.A. Law. 
Everyone gets to love 
or hate thirtysome- 
thing. 

PLAYBOY: Some of 
the episodes have 
been istic that 
iewers have felt un- 
comfortable watch- 
ing them. Do you set 
out to make people 
squirm? 
HERSKOVITZ: No. We 
just set out to deal with issues that interest 
us. We might be more willing to look at cer- 
tain personal issues than other shows are. 
PLAYBOY: Some people arent just made 
comfortable by thirtysomething. They hate 
it and are very happy to tell just abo 
body th 
HARRIS: I think it's because ii 
painful for some people to w: 


ich. “This is 
ny life. I have enough of it without seeing 


it on television 
There are a lot of people who 
watch and are very grateful and a lot who 
don't want to be reminded; they don't w; 
10 deal with the things we deal with. 

DRAPER: lı can be hard to watch if you're 


After all, 
if smoking isn’t a pleasure, 
why bother? 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNINE: Cigarette 
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


PLAYBOY 


64 


with someone you're going through the 
same thing with. 

MAYRON: lt сап be very revealing about re- 
lationships, expose a deep level of what we 
go through. 

ZWICK: Which is why, for some, the show is 
a revelation: It shows a world they sense— 
even if they fear it—that is rarely acknowl- 
edged by popular culture. 

[Zwick leaves to answer a phone call.] 
HERSKOVITZ: The show has a tendency to 
validate people's private experiences. It 
can make them feel that a situation that is 
very painful, that has made them feel iso- 
lated, is actually shared by many people in 
many different circumstances. 

Television has preached a kind of 
absolutism of behavior Characters had 
to be upstanding, 
forthright and nev- 
er ambivalent, never 
conflicted. The idea 
that some of those 
icons may be flawed, 
may be hurting 
you does establi: 
kind of validation 
for ones personal 


pain. 
[Another phone in- 
terruption; Hersko- 


vitz leaves to take the 
call аз Zwick re 
turns.) 

PLAYBOY: Would you 
finish his sentence, 
pleasc? 

ZWICK: What was the 
subject? ГИ give you 
the verb, 

PLAYBOY: That thir- 
tysomething validates 
the experience of 
viewers. 

ZWICK: Well, that 
harks back to the 
Capraesque dictum 
about a томе 
speaking to people 
alone in the dark, 
that it must give 
them something 
they can relate to. I 
can imagine а per- 
son going to therapy 
after seeing some of our shows. 

PLAYBOY: Polly, when your character went 
into therapy, relate to your own life? 
DRAPER: It was a little disturbing. I mean, 
when Ellyn looked back and saw herself as 
a young girl going through her mother’s 
drawers to find out some proof that she 
was really loved, I was—really weirded 
out. It made me remember that as a little 
girl, 1 once went through all the family's 
scrapbooks. I was looking for pictures of 
my father holding me or playing with me. 
‘There were pictures of him with my older 
sister; when youre the first-born, they're 
always taking pictures. But | was the sec- 
ond-born and there were no pictures of my 


dad playing with me. That show really jolt- 
ed your memory of things like that. 
PLAYBOY: Tim, the episode in which Elliot 
and Nancy went to a counselor was very 
painful—and won a batch of awards. How 
did you feel about it? 

BUSFIELD: It was very eerie doing Ше mar- 
jage-counseling scenes with Patty. 1 had 
gone into marriage counseling with my 
first wife and really gota lot out of it. In the 
therapy scenes for the show, 1 think 
played more of my first wife in real life— 
the way I didnt want to give in, then gave 
in a little, got defensive, gave in even more 
but never really gave in, My wife at the 
time was the one who was more resistant— 
like Elliot. The writing was so close and 
the fights were so familiar, there were 


“Is not life 
a hundred times 
too short...” 


NEIGEATZZESSCEHHIIE all 


several times when I wanted to call Patty 
by my ex-wifes name—just as I believe 
Patty was really fighting with Kenny. Don't 
let her tell you any different —— 

PLAYBOY: Well, Patty? 

WETTIG: 1 think if I ever went through a di- 
vorce—and I hope 1 never have to—it 
would be unique. I don't think, If this ever 
happens to me, I'm prepared. Not at all. 
There is no confusion between my real life 
апа my acting life. But it's just that I do 
usually draw from my personal 
BUSFIELD: Patty and I are probably the: ‘ones 
who draw most from our personal lives. If 
it doesn't relate to our lives, we don't feel 
comfortable. We feel our work is our best 
when we understand why we're doing what 


we're doing. Patty will often say, “I would 
never do this.” Pl try to adapt myself to 
any situ but if the needle on my shit 
sensor goes into the red, then I'll always 
bring it back to what | know. 

WETTIG: When my character got cancer, 
that was nothing I have had, or ever hope 
to go through: a mature woman, a woman 
who has children, facing her death. I've 
had nothing personally that makes me re- 
late to that, but as an actor, it's very chal- 
lenging. I investigate my own feelings. 
What would it feel like? But you can't really 
know. 

HARRIS: When Michael's father was dying 
of cancer, it was very difficult for me, be- 
cause my father had died of cancer and the 
actor actually resembled him. It evoked a 
lot of memories; 1 
was glad it was 
Michael's father dy- 
ing and not Hope's. 
BUSFIELD: For me, 
doing therapy was 
therapeutic. But 
other episodes, the 
ones about Michael 
and Fllior's business 
going under, were 
more therapeutic 
than anything else. 
It was healthy—and 
incredibly unusu- 
al—to see that it’s 
OK to embrace a 
male and say, “We 
have problems. Pm 
screwed up.” 

1 shy away from 
that much тоге 
than 1 shy away 
from any problems I 
have with a woman. 
My wife gets the 
best and the worst 
of me daily The 
screaming, the yell- 
ing. the passion—it's 
there. But to 
show it to another 
man! Those epi- 
sodes were always 
the toughest, to 
open up and show a 
genuine love for an- 
other man, You think, God, they're gonna 
think I'm a fag and all that crap that we're 
brought up thinking. 

PLAYBOY: Then are you conscious of the 
new male role models you're showing— 
sensitive, New Age guys? 

OLIN: I suppose so and it is, I imagine, vali- 
dating for a lot of men who have similari- 
ties to those kinds of characters. On the 
other hand, Michael Steadman, from what 
id, is not as salient a role model on tele- 
vision as ie whatever-his-name on 
Wiseguy. From the five minutes I watched, 
1 can say he probably is pretty much the 
male role model, a lot more than Michael 
Steadman is. 

HORTON: In the shows about Elliot and 


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PLAYBOY 


Michael's business going under, we showed 
something you never see on TV. Failure 
man. We're never taught that we can fai 
We were raised in a generation where the 
only option was success. 

PLAYBOY: Do you also agree that theres 
some resemblance between the show and 
your real lives 


show sometimes dees para 
certain ways. | rememb« 
the first year, when Tim and Nancy—l 
mean, Tim and Patty—1 mean, Elliot and 
cy [laughs] were getting divorced. Tim 
had just gone through a divorce: Mel had 
just gone through one; I was going 
through one. lt can be very therapeutic 
when a lot of what gets illustrated. on 
screen is directly out of our lives. We'd do 
those scenes on the 
set and end up in 
tears. 

DRAPER: My mar- 
riage was splitting. 
up then, too. I was 
going through that, 
so I was able to iden- 
tify with Nancy and 
Elliot when they 
were breaking up. 
When they were i 


therapy I could 
really identify. 
PLAYBOY: Therapy 


and psychology 
seem to be ап un- 
derlying theme to 
the show, and some 
people think that's 
whats wrong with 
thirtysomething— 
that it's too touchy- 
Feely. 

OUN: Well, three of 
four of the primary 
writers on the show 
have had a lor of ex- 
perience with the: 
apy and analy: 
Thats what diffe: 
entiates it. 
PLAYBOY: Marshall, 
what is it about (ће! 

apy that kes it 
such ап important 
theme in the show? 

HERSKOVITZ: 115 something we care about 


deeply. We've made a conscious effort to 
mi 


imize showing therapy on the show be- 
use of the stigma that goes along with it, 
but the underpinnings of the show arc 
completely based in psychoanalytic theory. 
We try to get across th ights of therapy 
using behavior in normal relationships. If 
you show therapy itself too often, it can be- 
come a creative crutch—a cheap and easy 
way of giving subjectivity an inner life. 
We've allowed Ellyn to be in therapy, so we 
occasionally write her therapy into the 
show. But we're not dealing with therapy 
with the other patients. 

PLAYBOY: Patients? 

ZWICK: Patients? 


PLAYBOY: What would Freud say about that 
slip? 

HERSKOVITZ: I have the flu. 

ZWICK: You're unguarded. 

PLAYBOY: Or could it be that you guys are 
actually frustrated therapists? Marshall, 
you even played the therapist in the mar- 
riage-counseling episode. 

rankly. I always wanted to be 
id I haven't given up on doing 
i mily My moth- 


а 
ZWICK: And ту. Ў 
PLAYBOY: A recent poll showed that eighty- 
three percent of the baby-boom generation 
accept therapy or would seek it if they felt 
they needed it. So why do you think there's 
such a stigma attached to it? 


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HERSKOVITZ: There is a tremendous fear in 
this culture of experiencing feelings. Peo- 
ple are terribly threatened by processes 
that allow them to experience their feel- 
ings. I believe that the very people who say 
ifs weak to be in therapy, who say you 
should solve your problems by yourself, 
are unconsciously terrified by what they 
imagine would happen if all those forbid- 
den feclings came forth. 

ally, American culture is, at its 
roots, Calvinist and Puritan. Thi such 
a deep strain of suppression of emotional 
life, of real intimacy and—and— 
ZWICK: And demonstrative bel 
HERSKOVITZ: Right. 
ZWICK: | think tha 


you'll find a whole cross 


section of our culture that feels that way 
and cannot stand the show. 
Before and after therapy, were 
the roller-coaster ups and downs in Elliot 
and Nane с carefully plotted? 
ZWICK: We had no idea what would hap- 
pen. All of a sudden, we realized that their 
arriage was in trouble. 
HERSKOVITZ: My wife at that time— 
ZWICK: Your wife at that time as opposed to 
your wife at this time? 


and Elliot separated. Without 
ng me. She showed us the pages and 
discovered that Nancy and Elliot were 
Е 10 separate. When they went 
therapy together, we found ourselves wish- 
ing that they didn't 
have to get separat- 
ed, because it was 
going so well—so 
we had them go 
back and forth and 
they ended up to- 
gether again. 
PLAYBOY: Is that how 
a lot of the plot 
turns are decided? 
ZWICK: Some things 
we knew from the 
beginning. When 
we decided to give 
Michael and El 
business, we decided 
it would fail. It took 
a year and a half for 
that to happen, but 
we knew that far in 
advance. On the 
other hand, we de- 
cided that Peter 
Horton should have 
a girlfriend on the 
show—we wanted to 
finally put him in a 
relationship and see 
what would happen 
him there. We 
found Patricia Kal- 
ember, a wonderful 
actress we wanted to 
cast for the part, 
1 then got a сай 


from her agent, who 
said that P: had just called up, em- 
barrassed, to say she couldn't take the part 


because she was pregn: Well, what bet- 
ц uation to put Gary in than for him to 
Фа girlfriend and all of a sudden, she 
gets pregnant? 

It seemed to follow the course of con- 
temporary relationships whereby you meet 
someone, sleep together, have a bal uy 
real estate, fall in love and then decide 
whether or not to get m а. 

PLAYBOY: It's interesting to note that all 
three single characters are now in relation- 
ships—or trying to be. 

e shown, | think, 


it real- 
ng in your 
thirties. We've shown how difficult it is to 


fall in love in your thirties. That's why you 
have Ellyn going for a married guy and 
Melissa going for a much younger guy To 
try to finda mate in your thirties or forties, 
especially when you're a woman, is very 
difficult. I think it's a lonely life out there 
right now. People are generally pretty iso- 
lated. 

MAYRON: I have tried to have Melissa show 
something very real about being single— 
that it's OK to go for your dreams and not 
worry about having to settle. 1 think t 
important: not feeling bad about being 
unmarricd 

DRAPER: That's what it sort of always comes 
down to: that deep down, we really just 
want to be married and have those babies. 
[Laughs] Which is probably true. 

PLAYBOY: Do you 
have any say in what 
turns these single 
womens lives will 
take? 

MAYRON: At the be- 
ginning of the year, 
I give Marshall and 
Ed a list of issues 
that I think Melissa 
should deal with, 
things 1 want to see. 
I want to watch what 
Melissa and Ellyn 
are going through 
so I know how to live 
my life. Polly told 
me that they would 
do a show for us if 
we could come up 
with the idea. We sat 


own life. Maybe I сап get Marshall and Ed 
to write my life: “Could you come in and 
tell this guy that he's asking too much of 
me and cancel him out, please?" 

HORTON: Who wants to be single? 1 don't 
like it at all. I's awful. I think the Forties 
and Fifties illustrated the problems that 
come from staying with someone beyond 
when you should, but the Seventies and 
Eighties revealed the problems of drop- 
ping something way before you should. It’s 
hard; there are no rules for relationships 
anymore. When do you say, This is it, that's 
enough? We're all trying to find the an- 
swers to that. 

PLAYBOY: When you and your ex-wife, 
Michelle Pfeiffer, decided it was enough, 


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were speaking for 
the silent minority that asks, "Could 1 just 
please be single without everyone thinking 
there's something wrong with me?” We got 
a lot of response from both men and wom- 
en who said that problem always comes up. 
PLAYBOY: Is Ellyn going to end up with her 
married boyfriend? 

DRAPER: [Laughs] 1 don't know. It depends 
on how much money he asks for next year. 
Thats what happened with my last 
boyfriend—he bit the dust because he 
wanted too much money from MGM. Sud- 
denly, our romance was on the skids. 
PLAYBOY: In some ways, it must be nice to 
have someone else making the big life de- 
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sit more difficult because you were both 
famous? 

HORTON: You'd like to be able to go 
through something like we went through 
оп our own and leave it alone for a whil 
but you can't. Its everywhere you go. 
When I see the portrait of us in the media, 
из this odd picture. But we're both very 
settled with it right now. We feel very com- 
fortable as friends. She's an amazing wom- 
an, one of those who come along rarely, 
maybe once every fifiy years. But we get 
along better as friends than as spouses. 
PLAYBOY: Will your next wife probably not 
be on the cover of magazines as one of the 
sexiest women in America? 

HORTON: Being married to somebody and 


having kids—that’s something you want to 
do with someone who has a little more nor- 
mal life, someone who doesn't have to car- 
ry the baggage of that kind of stardom, 
that kind of attention. 

PLAYBOY: Unlike Gary, and despite your di- 
vorce. it sounds as if you believe in mar- 
riage. 

HORTON: Marriage is very profound. Your 
natural tendency is to go for immediate 
gratification, but love takes time, it takes 
pain. It's like reading a book versus watch- 
ing television, Marriage was developed to 
help force us to learn the lessons of love, 
which are long-term lessons. We've come a 
long way, The Sixties broke it up, the Sev- 
enties experimented with it and the Eight- 
ies were trying to put the pieces back 
together. 

One thing we've 
done on the show is 
to genuinely show 
the pain of sepa- 
ration and divorce 
through Nancy and 
Elliot —and the 
value of marriage 
through Hope and 
Michael. 

PLAYBOY: Less con- 
ventionally, the epi 
sode in which two 
gay men were shown 
in bed for the first 
time on prime-time 
network ТУ caused 
a furor. Ed, Mar- 
shall, were you 
surprised by the re 
action? 

HERSKOVITZ: 1 felt 
like the most naive 
rube about the reac- 
tion to that show. 
ZWICK: 1 anticipated 
more of a shit storm 
than you did, I 
think. 

HERSKOVITZ: Well, 1 
felt like we were in 
Hollywood іп 1958 
having a black man 
kiss a white woman. 
ZWICK: The most 
political—and 
threatening—part of it was the offhanded- 
ness of the scene. 

HERSKOVITZ: Which is what many people 
wrote in about. It was made to seem пог- 
mal. 

MAYRON: In that episode, my character was 
wrestling with what her friends thought 
about her new boyfriend, a younger house 
painter. The gay guy was her friend and 
she was trying to help him not be afraid to 
follow his heart and go for love. What sex 
the person was had absolutely nothing to 
do with it. | mean, people are people and 
love is love. But people on the streets 
stopped to say, “I can't believe you support- 
ed him!” 

DRAPER: The scene with the two men in 


PLAYBOY 


70 


bed was so sexy. It was so compelling 10 
have it treated so matter-of-factly. 

WETTIG: | thought it was interesting that 
the most intimate relationship in that en- 
tire show was between the two gay men, 
but they weren't allowed to kiss. It was a 
network thing. You couldnt have them 
kiss. Because of that, it had to be all the 
electricity and the energy without the act. 
HORTON: I actually had a problem morally 
with that show. Two guys met and spent the 
night together. Afterward, they talked 
about AIDS—about all their friends who 
were dying of it. You wanted to say, “Wait a 
minute, guys, why do you think that’s hap- 
pening?” 

PLAYBOY: Melissa's gay friend told her, 
“Don't worry, we were safe.” 

HORTON: I guess we could have shown a 
shot of the used rubbers and panned up to 
the... I don't know I just don't think you 
can deal lightly with AIDS. 

PLAYBOY: Still, why do you think it’s so ac- 
cepted to see rape and murder on TV and 
yet such controversy is stirred up when two 
men are shown in bed together? 
HERSKOVITZ: I think sexuality is the area 
where it's hardest to tell the truth in televi- 
sion. It’s a never-ending battle. 

ZWICK: It’s the area we keep coming back to 
and trying to explore. 

HERSKOVITZ: And we've made lots of head- 
way—whether из Hope putting in her di- 
aphragm or teenagers having sex 

ZWICK: Or even just simple moments. In 
the episode where Michael's father got 
cancer, Michael hadnt been dealing with 
Hope and all of a sudden, he turned to her, 
grabbed her and said, “1 want you, I want 
you." There was a rawness and a sexuality 
to that that was honest. There was some 
concem that he was objectifying her. 
Damn right. It may not have been attrac- 
tive, but it was very human. 

PLAYBOY: When it comes to sex, have there 
been things you couldn't do? 

HERSKOVITZ: In the original script for the 
therapy episode, Nancy told the therapist 
she was upset that Elliot wanted her to go 
down on him. We were not allowed to say 
that. On NBC, it would have been OK, but. 
according to ABC, oral sex does not exist. 
The speech went, “You either want me to 
go down on you or you want me to wear 
something, . ..” It became, “You want me 
10 wear something or. and she trails 
off and can't say it. 

PLAYBOY: Also, rumor has it that you had to 
cut a scene in which Elliot masturbated. 
HERSKOVITZ: That was our decision. 
PLAYBOY: Did you get nervous about how 
people would react? 

ZWICK: It finally just didn't serve the story. I 
don't think it’s something we wouldn't try 
to do again 

HERSKOVITZ: But poor Timmy was sure 
happy we cut the scene 

PLAYBOY: Tim? 
BUSFIELD: / didn't care. Everybody else was 
relieved. I told them, "I'll do it." And I'd 
do it today. I'll do whatever those guys 
want me to do. They created Elliot and 


they pay me an exorbitant amount of mon- 
ey every week. Whatever they want me to 
say or do, I'll say or do. 1 don't remember 
ever asking them not to do something in 
the script, including the masturbation 
scene. Т said to them, “We're going to lose a 
lot of rating points,” but I thought, If vou 
guys want me to do it, I'll whack it. If that'll 
make you guys happy, I'll grease the ol’ 
monkey. 

PLAYBOY: Polly, ЕПуо5 married boyfriend 
has now left his wife. Do you mind being 
cast as a home wrecker? 

DRAPER: Well, what I like is that thi 
ing done from the other woman's v 
point, not the wife's and not the husband's. 
That's very rare and interesting. In Ellyn's 
case, she really feels like she’s in love for 
the first time. And it's been established that 
she's a highly moral person, not someone 
who likes to do this sort of thing, 


Ir: =. 


PLAYBOY: Is there a reason you chose to 
look at infidelity? 

HERSKOVITZ: Infidelity is one of the major 
issues of married life. 115 one of those 
problems that we keep coming up against. 
PLAYBOY: In one episode, Michael spoke of 
the subtler issue of being married and still 
being attracted to women—to every at- 
tractive woman who walks by, in fact. 
ZWICK: It’s part of that dialectic that we 
want to show. 

PLAYBOY: Isn't that also what gets people 
worked up about the show—when seem- 
ingly real characters who stand for certain 
moral values don't behave as viewers think 
they should? 

HERSKOVITZ: But it's important to note that 
morality is not the first concern when we 
make the show. Its third or fourth on the 
list. Our prime concerns are—— 

Zwick: Thematic— 


HERSKOVITZ: Dramatic and psychological. 
ZWICK: Then comes showing the truth. 
HERSKOVITZ: The fact that we are more con- 
cerned about showing the truth than 
about moralizing disturbs a lot of people. 
DRAPER: I'm always shocked to see how dif- 
ferent shows affect people—even my own 
family. My brother was really angry about 
the first episode with the married man 
People take all this very seriously When I 
dumped my boyfriend, women were really 
pissed off—all America was on my case for 
that. 
MAYRON: Hey, Г felt that way: Thats how 
much I got into 
HARRIS: Well, for us, not only is there the 
i y about the character, there's 


Its that thing of separating life 
tasy And it's something we all do 
with difficulty 


PLAYBOY: Do the rest of you ever find 
yourselves confusing fact and fiction? 
DRAPER: Yes. Patty was stunned that | 
would be writing a children’s book in real 
life. In the show, her character is doing just 
that, while my character doesn't really like 
children that much. 

HERSKOVITZ: The confusion happens h 
our show more than with other shows be- 
cause of our commitment to depicting re- 
ality. We learned so much from writing the 
old TV show Family—the notion that you 
could do domestic drama in a serious way, 
deal with serious issues. But on Family, the 
details of their lives, the texture, was very 
unreal. There was never any business of 
life, never any real-life clutter. 

HORTON: Which goes back to why people 
don't view us as actors, they view us as the 
characters. And they have no inhibitions 
about letting us know how they feel about 


On the South Side of Chicago it was Lincoln 
Gardens, up in Harlem it was the Cotton Club. 
But it could have been just about anywhere there 


was a bar, a dance floor, and jazz. 


We're not talking about jazz piano suites or 


orchestrated jazz stylings that passed for jazz inthe 
mainstream. Were talking about real ear-piercing, 
hear-pounding New Orleans jazz, born from the 
souls of penniless musicians who traveled from 
club to dubin rattietrap cars, luggage tied to the 
roof, and a makeshift bed in the back seat. 

Young black artists like Johnny Dodds 
and Papa Joe Oliver were 
among the first of the new 
jazz stars. Night after 
night, they played to 
packed, smoke-filled 
houses, bringing 
with them this new 
form of music they 
invented. 


Jazz was so new, the 


The sound was jazz, 
the atmosphere was smoky, 
and the mood was martinis. 


people went mad for it. “Night Clubbers; as 
they were called, poured into the hot spots to hear 
the new sounds from the South, to dance, and to 
drink. And the drink of choice was the martini. 
However, the martini was more than the king. 
of cocktails, it was a symbol for the thinking that 
was sweeping the nation after World War | 
People were after things that were fun, new and 
exciting, And thats just what they got. Black met 
white, jazz bands played where orchestras once 


Gilbey’. The Authentic Gin. 


reigned, and cocktails were mixed in 


spite of prohibition. 
Today the martini is back. And 
though you can't return 10 


the Cotton Club or hear 


live jazz from the horn 
of Papa Joc Oliver, 


you can taste a mar- 


tini just the way it 


was back then. 
Gilbey’. Taste what 
it was ай about 


it. When Gary's girlfriend became preg- 
nant, people came up to me and said, “I re- 
ally think the fact that you're having a baby 
without being married is despicable.” 

yes. After it came out that El- 
lyn had a tattoo on her ass, people were fol- 
lowing me down streets, in malls, saying 
things like, “What side is it оп?" One won 
an very discreetly came up to me and whis- 
pered, “You know, you can remove a tattoo 
with a laser.” 

PLAYBOY: Do people ever call you Ellyn? 
DRAPER: Oh, yes. 1 don't answer when they 
do. 

PLAYBOY: We imagine it would be a real 
sign of trouble if a man cried out “Ellyn” at 
the wrong time. 

DRAPER: You mean in bed? [Laughs] Yeah. 
It hasn't happened, but when 1 was first 
separated from my husband, one of the 
guys 1 was going out with was basing his 
whole relationship with me on what he 
thought of Ellyn. It was like he thought he 
knew me. I was being damned before [ 
had ever done anything. 

BUSFIELD: | was in a supermarket and some 
woman came up and slapped me because 
she thought I was being a shit to Nancy. 
Men have come up to me to give me very 
sincere advice: “Whatever you do, don't ad- 
mit to the aff; 
HERSKOVITZ: In a piece in The New Yorker, 
someone quoted a friend who said she saw 
Tim Busfield doing a commercial and 
thought, My God, Elliot is so desperate 
he'll try anything—he'll even try acting. 
[Laughs] 

DRAPER: Some guy came running up to me 
in the airport and practically pounced on 
me to say that he and his wife are shrinks 
and that every Wednesday, 2 group of 
shrinks from their community get togeth- 
er to discuss our problems on the show the 
previous night in order to better deal with 
their patients. 

WETTIG: I guess it happens to all of us. The 
other day, I called to order a pizza. The 
person on the line said, “Is this Nancy?” 


and I said, “No,” but he said, “I recognize 


your voice. It’s Nancy" I said, "This is not 
Nancy.” 

PLAYBOY: Where do you and Nancy di- 
verge? 

WETTIG: I'm probably more strong- ded 
and more opinionated than Nancy. She 
seems so nice on television. . . . [70 Olin] 
What would you say is the difference be- 
tween me and Nancy? 
OUN: Your personal hygi 


up with some fucking interesting answer 
about how Um different from Michael? 
This is like root canal. ... Well, for one 
thing, Michael Steadman doesn’t talk to 
the press. You know; I find it so—so inter- 
esting that people fixate on the idea that 
we are these people. The point is that in 
thirtysomething, the writers and the direc- 
tors and the cast have been extremely suc- 
cessful at creating an illusion of domestic 


71 


PLAYBOY 


пасу, Sometimes оп ап excruciating 
personal level, so there is even more of a 
tendency to make the characters us. 

: It's because of television—people 
become their characters. It's no different 
for the people in M*A*S*H or All in the 
Family 

PLAYBOY: Ed and Marshall which actor 
would you say is most different from his or 
her character? 

HERSKOVITZ: Fither Mel ог Tim. The notion 
that even one person in the TV audience 
could dislike Elliot is astonishing if you 
know Tim, who is the dearest person on 
the face of the earth. 

zwick: And Hope possesses a kind of 
moral authority and judgmental quality, 
for hetter or worse, that Mel, delightfully, 
does not possess. She is much more emo- 
tionally accessible than her character. 
PLAYBOY: Mel, how do you feel about being 
identified with as perfect a character as 
Hope? 

HARRIS: I don't think she's perfect. She's 


just rather exacting and demanding, In 


that respect, were alike. But basically, 1 
don't think I'm a lot like Hope. I don't give 
people such a long rope. I'm very shy. 
Hope's married and I'm married, Hope 
has a kid and I have a kid and we're both 
pregnant. But I'm tougher, harder and 
shorter, 

PLAYBOY: Peter, how about you and Gary? 
HORTON: Gary is a Peter Pan, someone who 
can't accept responsibility, who can never 
commit to relationships. There are serious 
differences between us. Гус always been a 
huge fan of marriage; Гуе never had trou- 
ble committing. I think Gary made a pact 
with himself when he was twenty: "I will 
never be like the adult world; I refuse to 
give up my ideals." He probably hung on to 
that longer than he should have—and I 
think I did, too. 

PLAYBOY: Melanie? You and Melissa are 
both single, both photographers. Are you 
similar in other ways? 

MAYRON: On the outside, Melissa is pretty 
similar to me, but the way she behaves and 
the way she reacts emotionally are not how 
І would react. Melissa can be really outspo- 
ken and blatantly honest and Гт not that 
way. I'm much safer, more political. And 
Melissa is a lot more insecure than Lam. 
PLAYBOY: Tim? 

BUSFIELD: The actor in me says, Don't say 
Elliot is like you, because you won't seem to 
beas good an actor. But Elliot is very much 
like me. Unfortunately. Elliot is the side of 
me I would choose not to be but I'm forced 
to live with. He's like the Devil on my 
shoulder. Elliot admits that he's a screw-up. 
I'ma screw-up. I can admit it, but Elliot ad- 
mits it to thirty million people a week. 
PLAYBOY: Do you like Elliot? 
BUSFIELD: Definitely. Elliot is probably the 
most fun guy to be around and the nicest 
guy to everybody. You never sec Elliot bea 
dick, except in his relationship with Nancy. 
But the guy can't get a break. He hasan af- 
fair and he cant get his marriage on track, 
so he leaves his wife and he gets shit for 


that; his business goes under; he gets back 
together with his wife, and then she gets 
cancer. The main thing I like about Elliot 
is that he doesn't try to be anybody's ver- 
sion of what he's supposed to be. 

PLAYBOY: Can it become a hindrance іп 
your careers to be so tied to your TV char- 
acters? Tim, some reviewers said they 
couldn't see anyone but Elliot when they 
saw you in Field of Dreams. 

BUSFIELD: Yeah, some people said Tim 
Busfield played his basic whiny Yuppie. 
They just used it as an opportunity to rip 
on thirtysomething But it hasn't been a 
problem for me. ГаБо played Poindexter 
in Revenge of the Nerds. They're all so dras- 
tically different. 

PLAYBOY: Did it come up for you, Ken, in 
your movie coming out this summer, 
Queens Logic? 

OLIN: Oh, that movie's never coming out— 
because they decided I'm too much like 
Michael Steadman. [Laughs] 

WETTIG: No. Not really. 

OLIN: Not really. 

PLAYBOY: Whats your character in the 
film? 

OLIN: 1 plav an artist, a working-class guy 
from Queens. He doesn't talk too much 


“Elliot is the side of me 
I would choose not to 
be. He’s like the Devil 

on my shoulder. 
Elliot admits that 
he’s a screw-up.” 


Except when he does interviews. No, he 
doesn't talk and he doesn't shave, Other- 
wise, he looks just like his evil twin brother, 
Michael Steadman. 

WETTIG: They were separated at birth. 
OUN: Which one's Jewish, which Italian? 
[Laughs] 

PLAYBOY: Marshall and Ed, is thirtysome- 
things success—the fact that youre still 
around after three years—a vindication of 
all the criticism it has received? 

ZWICK: Thirlysomething disproves every 
theory I would imagine the networks have 
about what people supposedly want from 
television. 

HERSKOVITZ: Although therlysomething isn't 
a terribly high-rated show. 

ZWICK: Yes. We're also thirtysomething in 
the ratings. 

PLAYBOY: Though youre often very high in 
ratings, as far as desirable demographics 
are concerned. Presumably, the network 
and MGM aren't supporting your show 
ply because they believe in what you're 
doing. 

HERSKOVITZ: Noooo. They're making mon- 
ey off it. But it is also true that the people 
running the networks have, in the past five 


5, opened their eyes to other ways to 
approaching the audience. Roseanne 
would not have been on the air several 
years ago. The exceptions, however, are 
sull few. 

PLAYBOY: Do you think that thirtysomething 
may be influencing network programing? 
HERSKOVITZ: I hate to say it, but the only 
definite influence I've seen our show have 
on television programing is in comm 
cials. We have had areal influence on co 
mercials. 

HORTON: Unfortunately, what they take to 
do commercials is our style, which for us is 
the result of an inner drama that needs to 
be expressed through a style. The com- 
mercials just objectify the style and there- 
by take away the concept. They evoke an 
emotion but miss the essence. 

PLAYBOY: There is a market called the 
thirtysomething audience. Do you find it 
ironic that the term has entered the lan- 
guage as a description of a market? 
HERSKOVITZ: Yes, particularly since Ed and 
I were there writing the pilot and 1 turned 
to him and asked, “What should we call 
this thing?" and he said, “Thirtysomething.” 
That was it. 

PLAYBOY: How would 
thirtysomething generatio 
Zwick: 1 remember a poem that goes, 
“Generations have soft boundaries.” It is 
not just people in their thirties. 
HERSKOVITZ: It has more to do vnb the 
something" than with the "thirty" —the 
informality of that, the vagueness, the will- 
ingness to endure ambiguity. 
Zwick: I think it describes a particular mo- 
ment in a life that was or is defined by hard 
choices, certain rites of passage, accept- 
ance... a lot of different things. It hap- 
pens to people in their twenties and in 
their forties and fifties, as well, 

PLAYBOY: Does it annoy you when people 
say that the show is about whining Yup- 


1 define 


the 


g part. But I take ex 
ary exception to the term Yuppies. 
HERSKOVITZ: If anything, I take even more 
exception to it. A Yuppie to me is someone 
who is only materia Thats how it's 
used by advertisers and demographers 
However, the term has come to include 
anybody who is of a certain age, has a 
a marriage, a mortgage and a car, or who 
wants to have all those things. That used to 
be called the American dream. Now it is 
looked on in some onerous w 
ZWICK: It’s the assumption that the decision 
to partake, in some measure, of that 
dream goes hand in hand with an aban- 
donment of political principles or personal 
ideals. 

PLAYBOY: But don't you question whether a 
materialistic gencration has, in fact, lost its 
idealis 
HERSKOVITZ: Of course we wrestle with 
those issues, but that’s not the point. First 
of all, the pejorative aspect of this unwit- 
tingly comes from a Marxist critique of our 
culture: that there is something inherently 


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dangerous and evil about the bourgeoisie. 
But this country was founded on the prin- 
ciple of the middle class. The other thing 
that bothers me is that there is an under- 
current in American culture having to do 
with hating our young. We don't pay our 
teachers; public education has gone to shit 
Adolescence is now construed as being at 
war with society 

ZWICK: Or, worse, as only preparatory for 
the adult phase of society — 

HERSKOVITZ: The point being that the nega- 
tive idea of a Yuppie comes with the notion 
that young people on the rise are seen as 
bad, that young people with ambition and 
drive are evil. 

PLAYBOY: Well, if drive and ambition are all 
there is 

HERSKOVITZ: Everyone would say ambition 
was evil if it became everything. But that’s 
not the way the term Yuppie is now being 
used. It is the objectifying of a large num- 
ber of people. 

тулек: And in objectifying them, dismiss- 
ing them. 

HERSKOVITZ: And, by the way, people who 
have written about the show have talked 
about the acquisitive people on thirtysome- 
thing. Well, in the first scason, only one 
purchase was made—a computer. Michacl 
drives a 1973 Volvo 18005. Elliot drives a 
1981 VW Rabbit. 

PLAYBOY: You tackled this issue directly in 
one episode: Michael argues that he and 
Elliot should take on a client even though 
they abhor his politics 

ZWICK: Yes, we're arguing the issue. Well 
be arguing it more and more this year. 
HERSKOVITZ: Now, as Michael becomes 
more and more successful, we intend for 
the whole issue of conspicuous consump- 
поп to come up more, 

PLAYBOY: You said you acknowledge the 
criticism about the characters’ whining. 
Why does the thirtysomething generation 
whine? 

HERSKOVITZ: We were coddled. We were 
given an amazing license. 

ZWICK: License to voice our displeasure 
about—whatever. 

HERSKOVITZ: And to be arrogant But 
there's much more to it. Our puritan cul- 
ture says, Life is hard. You do not indulge 
your emotional life. There is a stoical re- 
nunciation of free emotional exchange. 
But, the thinking goes, we are a generation 
that faces no difficulties. We've had an easy 
life, we're spoiled and weak, which is why 
we give vent to our emotions, That's an 
attack on thirtysomething and on our gener- 
ation. But I think something more subver- 
sive is going on. We—this generation, that 
is—are attacking the basic construct of our 
culture: the way we raise children, the way 
we behave toward our parents — 

Zwick: What our sexual relationships 
should be—— 

PLAYBOY: Whining as revolution? 
HERSKOVITZ: Exactly. 

PLAYBOY: How about those who say the 


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show is too white, too upscale? 

BUSFIELD: I think thats bullshit. 1 think 
that’s like saying that Monet used too 
much blue. Ed and Marshall do not have 
an obligation to society to represent all as- 
pects of mankind, all kinds of problems. 
PLAYBOY: How long do you see the show 
continuing? 

HORTON: I think Ed and Marshall will get 
to the point where they just can’t do it any- 
more in the next couple of years. Опсе that 
happens, the show is over. 

BUSFIELD: We know it's going to be over 
someday, we're going to have to go 
back to doing the Quinn Martin kinds of 
things. 

DRAPER: Not now, you won't! 

MAYRON: Quinn Martin is dead, isn't he? 
PLAYBOY: Have you contemplated forty- 
something, fiftysomething and beyond? 
ZWICK: I don't know. It would be fun to 
leave them and pick the characters up ten 
years from now and sce where they are, 
wouldn't it? 

BUSFIELD: Excuse me again. I'd like to inter- 
ject something. Just in case: my apologies 
10 Quinn Martin. 
HORTON: Forget 
you are. [Laughs] 

DRAPER: | definitely want to get into some 
low-rent characters after this. It was a frec- 
dom when no one knew who I was. If the 
part called for a hooker, І could go in and 
everyone would think I was really slutty. 
Now I have to convince them I'm not Ellyn, 
PLAYBOY: Ken and Patty, how has the suc- 
cess of the show affected your lives? 

OLIN: Well. . . . [Chuckles] 
WETTIG: 1 can sec you're thin| 
thing clever to say. 

OLIN: No, actually. It's just that this whole 
ng is hyping our participation in the 
show to a level that's out of proportion. 
WETTIG: It’s our job. We've had this job for 
three years. 

OUN: Sure, из changed our lives to a de- 
grec. We live with a degree of celebrity 
now; the anonymity im public is gone. 
We're treated differently 

HARRIS: But it’s not my whole life, There 
arc other things that mean far more to me 
than my work, not to decrease its impor- 
tance. But my son and my husband and my 
family—if ever my work got in the way, I 
it up ina second. 

Directing the children's theater is 
infinitely more important than any work 1 
do as an actor. It's a craft to me, at times an 
art, but working with the kids is far more 
ng. 

OUN: Can we ask you a question? Are you 
going to have all the women from the show 
in Bunny outfits on the cover? 

WETTIG: Ken, | didn't want to tell you, be- 
cause 1 knew you'd be upset. .. but they 
asked us to do the centerfold. 

OUN: They're just going to pick each of 
your best body parts. 

WETTIG: We could come up with a very 


If he ізгі dead, 


ing of some- 


good body among the four of us. Trust me. 
But this is getting a little sexist. 
PLAYBOY: OK, a safer topic: How well does 
thirtysomething deal with politics? 
HORTON: Sometimes I wish we could do 
more. [He throws down a copy of The New 
York Times; the headlines are about the in- 
vasion of Panama.) You want to deal with 
what's going on out there. 1 mean, this ac- 
tion in Panama is so myopic and self-cen- 
tered! There just seems to be this blind 
acceptance in the U.S. of whatever feels 
emotionally correct, without any involve- 
ment intellectually 

The idea that we went in because two 
Americans got killed is ludicrous. . . . Ten 
years ago, American nuns were killed in El 
Salvador and our response to that was to 
send millions of dollars in aid. That’s not 
what this country is supposed to be about. 
We're supposed to be the bastion of moral- 
ity, of principle. And the timing! A super- 
power decides to invade a small country 
when the other superpower is going 
through a very unstable, transitional time. 
And while we're at it, sending those envoys 
to China a few weeks after Tiananmen 


“If people learn anything 
from ‘thirtysomething, it’s 
that you've got to work out 
your problems or they ain't 

gonna go away.” 


Square—where's the moral statement? 
PLAYBOY: How do your political concerns 
filter into thirtysomething? 

HORTON: About all I can do is wear T-shirts 
about EI Salvador. 1 get in whatever I can. 
They'll throw in a line about Central 
America occasionally. 

ZWICK: This show's subject is the human 
heart, so its politics are the politics of emo- 
tions rather than the politics of issues. Tòp- 
ical political issues have importance in the 
show only insofar as they have some emo- 
tional content for the characters. 
HERSKOVITZ: [t's hard enough to do a televi- 
sion show about seven people and their 
private lives and also convey their relation- 
ship'to the world. 
Zwick: Though its very clear that the poli- 
tics of the characters on thirtysomething ате 
basically very liberal—we get a lot of let- 
ters complaining about that. 

OUN: These days, by the way, if you want to 
sell movies or television, you'd better not 
do it through liberal politics. I mean, we 
cant even get a Democrat elected Presi- 
dent in this country. We're clecting the 
most conservative, environmentally uncon- 


scious individuals. 
PLAYBOY: What about all the people who, 
like Michael and Hope, are wrestling with 
the pull of their fin s and 
their political values? 
нокто! ng issue. But if you 
stay home and say, “I'll compromise my be- 
liefs so that I can get the bills paid,” then 
you've got to, on some level, not be too 
shocked when your Presid 
small country like Panama even though 
there are a whole host of moral implica- 
tions that are appalling, 
PLAYBOY: What would you like to think 
thirtysomething's effect on society could be? 
DRAPER: [Tù Zwick and Herskovilz] You guys 
usually answer these kinds of questions. 
HERSKOVITZ: Just one thing? 
HARRIS: I think it would be nice if people 
would remember we did a really quali 
show. We worked hard and cared abor 
We did the best we could and m; 
opened up some avenues for other show: 
HORTON: The traditional wisdom up to this 
in television circles was that you had 
ive people obvious, crude entertain- 
ment. But we're proving that people want, 
at times, to be challenged. There's cert 
ly a place in life for just checking out and 
letting yourself be entertained. But enter- 
tainment is not the staple of life, just the 
dessert. The staple should be involvement. 
PLAYBOY: How about the show's legacy? 
What will it be? 
BUSFIELD: I think if people learn anything 
from thirtysomelhing, it's that you've got to 
work out your problems or the 
go away The deep problems, Communi- 
cate. You don’t communicate, you don't 
work it out. And you learn that your prob- 
lems are probably universal. And you need 
10 be able to say you're fucked up. 
OLIN: The notion that, as people have said, 
“thirtysomething has changed my lif 
you know, that's a crock of shit. I'm not say- 
ing that it is of no consequence. I'm noi 
saying you shouldn't do pol 
scious material. ГІ 
overemphasize the significance of what 
we're doing. 
WETTIG: The best that movies and televi- 
sion can do is make you stop and think 
about things. When our show is good, it 
makes you stop and think. 
OLIN: I'm not saying that it doesn’t have sig- 
nificance. It breeds a certain amount of 
discussion, and discussion is really good 
Its wonderful if people discuss any piece 
of work. But when actors take on impor- 
tance because of their roles, irs dangerous. 
WETTIG: To think that we are experts on 
matters of the heart becausc of the show is 
nonsense. 
PLAYBOY: OK, then. Last chance. Anyone: 
What do you hope will be the most posi- 
tive, long-lasting legacy of !hirtysomething? 
BUSFIELD: [After a beat] Residu; 


El 


WHAT THE GENTLEMEN DRINK 
WHEN THE LADIES LEAVE THE ROOM. 


Old Grand-Dad Kontucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. 43% Асо! (85 Proof Distiled and Bote by The Od Grand-Dad Distiley Company. Frankton, KY OLD GRAND-DAD 


SOLDIER 


"it's him, all right,” keller said. “soill 
take my time and do the job right” 


ELLER FLEW United to Portland, He read а ша ne on 

the leg from J.EK. to O'Hare, ate lunch on the ground 

and watched the movie on the nonstop flight from 

Chicago to Portland. It was a quarter to three, local time, 
when he carried his hand luggage off the plane, and then he had only 
an hours wait before his connecting flight to Roseburg. 

But when he got a look at the size of the plane, he walked over to the 
Hertz desk and told them he wanted a car for a few days. He showed 
them a drivers license and a credit card and they let him have a Ford 
Taurus with 3200 miles on the clock. He didn't bother trying to refund 
his Portland-to-Roseburg ticket. 

The Hertz clerk showed him how to get on 1-5. Keller pointed the 
Taurus in the right direction and set the cruise control three miles over 
the posted speed limit. Everybody else was going a few miles an hour 
faster than that, but he was in no hurry, and he didnt want to invite a 
close look at his driver's license. It was probably all right, but why ask for 
trouble? 

It was still light out when he took the off ramp for the second Rose- 
burg exit. He had a reservation at the Douglas Inn, a Best Western on 
Stephens Street. He found it without any trouble. They had him in a 
ground-floor room in the front, and he had them change it to one in the 
rear and a flight up. 

He unpacked, showered. The phone book had a street map of down- 
town Roseburg and he studied it, getting his bearings, then tore it out 
and took it with him when he went out for a walk. The little print shop 
was only a few blocks away on Jackson, two doors іп from the corner, 
between a tobacconist and a photographer with his window full of wed- 
ding pictures. A sign in Quik Prints window offered a special on wed- 
ding invita perhaps to catch the eye of bridal couples making 
arrangements with the photographer. 

Quik Print was closed. of course, ay were the tobacconist and the pho- 
tographer and the credit jeweler next door to the photographer and, as 
far as Keller could tell, everybody els the neighborhood. He didnt 
stick around long. Two blocks away, he found a Mexican restaurant that 
looked dingy enough to be authentic. He bought a local paper from the 
coin box out front and read it while he ate his chicken enchiladas. The 


fiction 


By LAWRENCE BLOCK 


PAINTING BY DENNIS NECHVATAL 


79 


PLAYBROY 


food was good and ridiculously inexpen- 
sive. If the place were in New York, he 
thought, everything would be three or 
four times as much and there'd be a line 
front. 

"The waitress slender blonde, not 
Mexican at all. She had short hair and 
granny glasses and an overbite, and she 
sported an engagement ring on the ap- 
propriate finger, a diamond solitaire with 
a tiny stone. Maybe she and her 
had picked it ou 
Keller thought. Maybe the photog: 
next door would take their weda 
tures. Maybe they'd get Burt Englemar 
to print their wedding invitations. Qu 
ty printing, reasonable rates, service you 
can count on. 


1 the credit jewele 
pher 


. 
In Ше morning, he returned to Quik 
Print and looked in the window. A wom- 
an with brown hair was sitting at a gray 
metal desk, talking on the telephone, A 
man in shirt sleeves stood at a copying 
machine. He wore horn-rimmed glasses 
with round lenses and his hair was 
cropped short on his egg-shaped head. 
He was balding, and that made him look 
older, but Keller knew he was only 38. 
Keller stood in front of the jewelers 
and pictured the waitress and her fiance 
picking out rings. They'd have а double- 
ring се and there 
would be something engraved on the in- 
side of each of their wedding bands, 
somethir 


while, he decided, until they saved the 
down payment for a starter home. That 
was the phi i estate ads 
and Keller A starter home, some- 
thing w practice on until you got the 
hang of it 

drugstore on the next block, he 
ned paper tablet and a 
black felt-tipped pen. He used four 
heets of paper before he was pleased 
with the result. Back at Quik Print, he 
showed his work to the brows 
woman, 

“My dog ran off" he expl 
thought ГА get some fliers pr 
them around town.” 

Lost poc, he'd printed. rur cer. sner: 
HERD. ANSWERS TO SOLDIER. CALL 555-1901, 

"I hope you get him back," the wom 
said. “Is it a him? Soldier sounds 1 
male dog, but it doesn't say 
"hs a male,” Keller said. “Maybe 1 
should have specified.” 

А probably not important. Did you 
a reward? People u 
В 1 don't know if it make 


body's not as decent as you are,” 
said. “Maybe I should say sor 
bout a reward. I didnt eve 
of that.” He put his palms on the desk 


and leaned forward, looking down at 
the sheet of paper. “I don't know,” he 
said. “It looks kind of homemade, doesn't 
Maybe I should have you set it in type, 
do it right. What do you think? 

“I don't know,” she said. “Ed? Would 
you come and take a look at this, please? 

The man in the horn-rims came over 
and said he thought a hand-lettered look 
was best for a lost-dog notice. “It makes it 
more personal," he said. “I could do 
type for you, but I think people would re- 
spond to it better as itis. Assuming some- 
body finds the dog, that is. 

“I don't suppose it’s a matter of natio 
al importance. Keller said. 


Ay 
wife's attached to the animal and ГА like 
to recover him if its possible, but I've a 


nyway, 


he's not to be found. My names 

by the way. Al Gordon.” 
idermcer,” the man said. “And 
this is my wife, Betty.” 

“A pleasure,” Keller said. “I guess fifty 
of these ought to be enough. More than 
enough, but Ell take fifty. Will it take you 
long to run them? 

“TI do it right now. Take about three 
minutes, cost you three-fifty: 

“Сат beat that,” Keller said. He un- 
capped the felt-tipped pen. “Just let me 
put in something about a reward." 

. 

Back in his motel room, he put 
through a call to a number in White 
Plains. When a woman answered, he 
said, “Dot, let me speak to him, will you? 
lı took a few minutes, and then he said, 
“Yeah, I got here. Its him, all right. He's 
calling himself Vandermeer now. His 
wiles still going by Betty. 

The man in White Plains asked when 
he'd be back, 

"What's today, Tuesday? I've gota flight 
booked Friday, but I might take a little 
longer. No point rushing things. | found 
а good place to eat. Mexican joint. and 
the motel set gets HBO. I figure Pil take 
my time, do it right. Engleman's not go- 
ing anywhere. 


feel 


G 


. 
Не had lunch at the Mexican 
This time, he ordered the combi 
plate. The waitress asked if he w 
the red or gi 
"Whichever's hotter," he said. 
Maybe à mobile home. he thought. 
could buy one cheap. 
make a nice starter home for her a 
fellow. Or 
was to buy a duplex and rent out half, 
then rent the other half when they 
were ready for something nicer for then 
selves. No time at all, you п real es 
пак: nice return, watching 
holdings appreciate. No more waiting on 
tables for her, and pretty soon, her hus- 
band could quit slaving at the lumbe 
mill, qu g about layoffs when 


1 her 
maybe the best thing for them 


ur 


the industry hit one of its slumps. 
How you do go on, he thought 


He spent the afternoon walking 
y shop, the propri 
amed McLarendon, took 
ns off the wall and. 
ct the feel of them. A sign on the 
cad, GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE UNLESS 
YOU мм REAL соор, Keller talked politics 
with McLarendon, and socioeconomics. 
It wasn't that tricky to figure ош his posi 
tion and to adopt it as one's ow 

What I really been meaning to buy” 
Keller said, “isa handgun.” 

You want to protect yourself and your 
property,” McLarendon said. 
Thats the idea. 
Апа your loved one: 

“Sure.” 

He let the man sell him a gun, There 
was, locally, a cooling-off period. You 
picked out your gun, filled out a form, 
and four days later, vou could come back 
and pick it up. 

“You а hothead?” McLarendon asked 
him. “You fixing to lean out the ear win- 
dow, shoot a state trooper on your way 


around town. In a gu 
ctor, a man 
some rifl 


trick. We just 
backdate this form and you've already 
had your cooling-off period. ГА say vou 
look cool enough to me.” 

“You're a good judge of character 

The man grinned. “This busi 
said, "a man’s got to be.” 

D 

It was nice, a town that size. You got in- 
to your car and drove for ten minutes 
and vou were way out in the country 

Keller stopped the Taurus at the side 
ol the road, cut the ignition, rolled down 
the window. He took the gun from one 
ind the box of shells from the 
The gun—McLarendon had kept 
ing it a weapon— was a .38-caliber re- 
volver with a two-inch barrel. McLaren- 
don would have liked to sell him 
something heavier and more powerful. 
If Keller hı ned, he probably would 
have been thrilled to sell him a bazooka. 

Keller loaded the gun and got out of 
the car. There was a beer can lying on its 
side perh: 15 off. He aimed at 
holding the gun in one hand. A few yea 
ago, they started firing two-handed in 
cop shows on T V, and nowadays, that was 
all you saw, television cops leaping 
through doorways and spinning around 
corners, gun gripped rigidly in both 
hands, held out in front of their bodies 


like a fire hose. Keller thought it looked 
silly. Ней feel so self-conscious, holding a 
gun like that 

He squeezed id 


с trigger. The gu 
his hand, and he missed the 
by several feet. The report of 
the gunshot echoed for a long time. 
(continued on page 146) 


bucked 
beer ca 


“Have you ever been blown out of the water, so to speak?” 


8 


in what bids to be the years steamiest movie, otis blossoms while rourke burns 


ZALMAN KING doesn't do fainthearted movies. Neither does Mickey Rourke. The last time the two Kansos-bred lawyer Emily Reed 
teamed was for "9Y Weeks" with King as producer and Rourke as the sinister arbitrager who (Carré Otis) keeps her eyes ond mind 
involves Kim Basinger in steamy sadomasochism. Word that King and Rourke were reuniting to open in Rio. With the jaded tycoon 

make “Wild Orchid," this time with King in the direclors chair, suggested thal sizzling fare was Wheeler (Mickey Rourke) os her 
headed for the screen. And it was. Someone extremely closely connected with the production, who guide, she's exposed to back-roam ar- 

prefers anonymity, supplied Playboy with the following account: gies and masquerades, where the sight 

Call me the fly on the wall: | was there, from the casting of the all-important role of Emily af sex between masked strangers 

Reed—the young attorney who's whisked to Rio on her first important job and finds herself (аБауе) awakens hidden desires. 

lost in a consuming tropical passion—to the shooting of the climactic, and I use that word Later, she reploys the scene with a 

в2 advisedly, love scene. It wouldn't be your typical Hollywood (text concluded on page 172) pickup, Bruce Greenwaad (opposite). 


They soy Brazil is where “the songs are passionate and a smile has 
flash it” Its alsa where Carré finds herself in the back of a 
speeding lima with Raurke and a married couple (Assumpta Serna 
ond Oleg Vidov, belaw) who're getting it on beside her. Саша be 
that Raurkes whispered nothings (and helping hand) spurred them 
‘on—ar perhaps И was just carnival magic. But dori! discount the od- 
ditianal presence of beoutiful Carré as an aphrodisiac for the pair 


Reckless lovers seek relief from the steomy weother ony way they con 
(left)—but under the wotchful eyes of Corré, who has come upon 
them unowores. The heot's also getting to Jocqueline Bisset (below), 
who begins to odmire Carré for more than just her Peeping Tomfool- 
ery. When Jockie ond her new bore-ossed friend look for o three- 
woy, Carré tries to maintoin neutrality. But the beoch bum drives o 
hard borgoin ond his body longuoge (bottom) leoves her speechless 


This controversial series of fromes 
hos two toles to tell. The first is 
obvious: The simmering sexual ten- 
sion between Olis and Rourke 
boiled over during this dimacti 
scene as the tender initiote Corr 
teaches the burnt-out master o les- 
son in love, But take o good 
look—it may be your last chance 
before Wild Orchid goes to video. 
And thors our second story: The 
Motion Picture Association of 
America’s threatened X rating 
forced film makers 10 trim 

sequence to fit prudish U.S. stand- 
ards. Some of the hotter shots may 
be seen only on Europeon screens. 
Whatever the outcome, we con- 
tinue to admire Rourkes eye for 
co-stars. As for Carré, shes сег- 
toinly по! in Kansas anymore. 


SEX BULLIES 


USTIN. rENAS— The nice 
Baptist lady from Waco 
had come to tell a com- 
mittee of the Texas 
legislature why sex 
education was such а 
terrible ide: 


ne on a 
y fire.” She got to 
explaining her окт 
familys program for 
preventing teenage 
pregnancy. The nd her husband 
have a daughter, and on this daughter's 
16th birthday. her daddy took her out to 
dinner at a real nice restaurant. In the 
course of that dinner. he gave his little 
girl a little golden ring for her finger. 
And on this ring was a little golden pad- 
lock that symbolized the girl's chastity 
The daddy has kept the little golden ke 
le golden padlock, and on the 

he will give the key to 
virginity, to he 


the padlock 
new husband. 

Right away, you could tell the audience 
had a lot of questions. Will it really help 
to keep her finger locked up? W she gets 
to Бе 35 and sull isn't married. then can 
she have the key? Is there some whiff of 
male control of female sexuality here? 

Well. the plan may have a few holes i 

but what we have here, friends, is the 
latest answer to а series of complex and 
troubling problems—not an answer just 
to sex education and to teenage pregnan- 
cy but to unwanted pregnancy in gener- 
al, to abortion, to homosexuality, to 
AIDS. to pornography, to sex itself. 

Sex. There it is, your root cause. The 
answer is, Just say no. You stop sex and 
that takes care of all the rest. Heaven 
only knows why it took so long for people 
to come to this conclusion. 

Look, we all know we're supposed to 
be living in a sexually liberated country: 
it has been 25 years since the sexual rev 
lution made the cover of Time m il 
nd by now, we're all supposed to have 
these stainless-steel, free-from-gu 
is-good-for-you attitudes, Bull. The fact 
is that sex is scary. It makes people feel 
guilty and ashamed of themselves. lt em- 


article By Molly Ivins 


barrasses the hell out of them. Tu causes 
no end of trouble and is probably the 
root of as much evil as money. Sex has all 
these squirmy manifestations—makes 
you do things you dont really w 
lose control, act the fool: its a hunge 
g you cant do anything about. lt 
exposes people's weaknesses and үшіп 
abilities: Very few things hurt more than 
a betrayal in a sexual relationship, be 
cause its a s against intimacy, 
against trust. Sex is powerful stuff 

And there are a lot of people so afraid 
of it they will do anything—burn dow 
abortion clinies, beat up queers, pressur 
politicians, mess with the Constit 
to control sex. All these vear 
such as Planned Parenthood h 


ion— 


groups 
ve bee 


thinking that education and contracep- 
tion would help. “I think contrace 
disgusting, 


nis 
says Joe Scheidler, the 
bortion activist. "People 
using each other for ple: 

And you thought these folks were up- 
set about abortion. Randall Terry, the 
head of Operation Rescue, the militant 
anti-abortion outfit, is opposed to all 
forms of birth control and would elimi 
nate all contraceptives. “Ultimately 
goal is to reform this culture,” say 

The arts. the media, the entertainment 
industries, medicine, the sciences, educa 
tion—to return to right and wrong, a Ju- 
daeo-Christian base.” 

That's a fairly strenuous agenda. Over- 
ning Roe vs. Wade and getting Playboy 
өш of the Jiffy Martare peripheral goals. 
‘ven “the unborn,” victims of “the new 
Holocaust.” are only symptoms of the 
larger problem, according to these folks. 

Just what the hell is going on here? Is it 
new? And is ita substantial phenomenon 
and a threat to freedom in this country? 

There are several centers of frankly 
antisex thinking currently at work in the 
society, all of them political-issue organi- 
zations focused on something else: They 
are anti-abortion, antigay, antipornogra- 
phy and anti-sex education. In many 
cases, they describe themselves as “pro- 
family” Their constituents and their mo- 
lives vary, but all of them are deeply 
afraid of sex. Fundamentalists, of course, 


ure. 


have been preaching for hundreds of 
years that sex is Satans favorite snare, the 
surest route to the Devil's lair and a siren 
source of misery and temptation for the 
unwary and the infirm of faith. The 
flesh. they are wont to observe, is weak. 
They have generally prescribed pr 
1 cold showers. 

In fact. those of you whose norions ol 
fundamentalism come from such quaint- 
ly dated efforts as Elmer Gantry are in for 
a surprise. Fundamentalists discovered 
quite some time ago that sex is great 
stuff. То be sure, they recommend it only 
within the boundaries of Chri 
riage and continue to denounce it with 
varving degrees of vigor in all other con 
texts, but there is a Nourishing funda- 

There are 
gain and a 
ner of discreet tapes sold through Chris- 
tan bookstores. Such widely read 
Christian family counselors as Tim and 
Beverly LaHaye purvey sound sexual ad- 
vice. Praise the Lord. 

And there is Scheidler, who is such an 
extremist that Planned Parenthood uses 
him in its own funda х ads. “Anti- 
choice activist Joe Scheidler used a pri- 
vate detective 10 track down a 12-year-old 
girl scheduled for an abortion," reads a 
current ad, "and then, according 10 the 
Chicago Tribune, harangued her mother 
through his bullhorn, ‘demanding to sce 
the child alone” 

""Fhe mother was almost hysteric 
Scheidler is quoted as saying. Ме 
couldnt reason with her.” 

The anti-abortion movement is a par- 
ticularly complex amalgam of Catholics, 
fundamentalists and citizens independ- 
ently convinced that fetuses are human. 
However. what is observably true is that 
Scheidler represents both what is new 
and what is most active in the anti-abor- 
tion movement. In 18 months. Operation 
Rescue—run by Scheidler's disciple Ter- 
y—spread from a small group in Bing- 
hamton, New York, to 35.000 followers in 
200 cities. This group has adapted the 
tactics of civil disobedience to anti-abor- 
tion efforts, claiming moral inspiration 
from the ci (continued on page 160) 


er 


tian mar- 


I man 


WHAT DO THE ANTI-ABORTION, ANTIGAY, ANTIPORN GROUPS WANT? 
NOTHING LESS THAN THE CONTROL OF SEX 


ILLUSTRATION BY RAFAL OLBINSKI 


SWIMWEAR 
1990 


six-time ms. olympia cory everson, the star of the espn show bodyshaping, 
can kick sand in our face any time she wants to 
fashion By HOLLIS WAYNE 


OK. MEN. It’s time to file volley short, styled after 


those dog-eared copies the longish, roomy 
of this years S. swim- styles worn by serious 
suit issue. Amateur volleyball players. із 


hour is over and now this summers killer 


Playboy is sending in cut. The wide, flared 


the A team. Or maybe legs make the shorts 


we should make it the comfortable and fla- 


C team, because body- ter body-shaped thighs. 


building superstar Ihe fabrics used are 


Cory Everson has defi- soft and drapey rayon 
nitely brought high- or high-tech nylon that 
powered definition 10 is fast-drying and cool 
this years swimwear to the touch. Besides 
feature. Нег revolu- being perfect for the 
tionary concept of body beach, they also make 
shaping—the combina- great laid-back street 
tion of resistance train- attire. Go for trunks in 


ing with sustained shades the brighter the 


exercise modes—has better, preferably incor- 
both men and women rethinking their old firming and ton- porated into exciting retro patterns and ethnic prints such 


ing routines. And if you don't agree with her theories оп as the ones our gı 


s are wearing in this feature. You have 


skin sculpting, tell it to Cory, please. Back on the beach, the checked out the male swimwear on these pages, haven't you? 


Left: Want to compare biceps with Cory Everson? Good luck. We're talking hard Cory. His suit? A nylon volley-length stretch model with side pockets, 
by Gotcha, about $28. (Her print bikini by Jimmy'Z. Above: Cory's queen of the hill, and who's going to arque? The crinkled-nylon trunks (above left), 
by Patrick Einhorn from Kingswood Sportswear, $48; and the sunglasses, by Ziari, $75. The Beyond Neon iridescent-coral nylon cross-dye swim 
trunks with a double-pleated front and three pockets {above right), $34, and а cap, 512, both by Big Dogs Sportswear. (Her bikini by Darling Rio.) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY MARIO CASILLI 


31 


Its round one and everybodys betting on Cory to deliv- 
er a knockout punch, including our model in the blue- 
and-yellow nylon-and-cotton geometric-print swim 
trunkswith elastic/enclosed-drawstringwaistband and 
on-seam pockets, by Bad Guys, $40. (Her bikini by Jim- 
myZ.) So where's Buster Douglas when we need him? 


Below: Cory works out with a Lifeline Gym and an able- 
bodied partner wearing batik-print trunks, by Speedo 
America, $37; and sunglasses, by Sanford Hutton for 
Colors in Optics, $62. (Her bikini by Darling Rio.) Right 
Rayon foral-print swim trunks, by Jams World, about 
$35. (Her bikini by Darling Rio; sunglasses by Rēvo.) 


Where and How to Buy on page 174. 


the start of a series that traces the common roots and parallel 
histories of two of america’s great art forms, jazz and rock and roll 


PART ONE: THE DEVIL’S MUSIC 


THE нівтову Of jazz and rock is the his- 
tory of American popular culture in 
the 20th Century. Over 100 years ago, 
the cornerstones of blues, ragtime and jazz were laid by the first 
generation of African Americans born out of slavery. The new 
music introduced African-style syncopation into popular 
American music and breathed a spirit of boundless human сіс- 
ativity into a stale and sexually repressive Victorian culture. 

Jazz and its antecedents provided a new paradigm of an 
idealized democratic culture that allowed for the maximum 
creative participation of the individual within a group, no mat- 
ter how sharply focused or remarkably disciplined. And it pro- 
posed an ecstatic union of body and soul, mind and spirit, 
carnal knowledge and eternal truth for the first time in a 
uniquely American synthesis. 

It sprang from wide-ranging Southern roots: field hollers, 
arhoolies, work songs, ring shouts, “Sankeys” and “ballits,” 
Baptist spirituals, 
Choctaw chants, 
plantation enter- 
tainments, minstrel 
shows, ^ marching 
bands, the cries of 
street. vendors, the 
songs of Mardi Gras 
Indians, the rhythms 
of country preachers 
and the crude string 
improvisations of 
rural bluesmen. 
Added to those were 
European tech- 
niques and the care- 
fully structured 
compositions of 
popular ragtime pi- 
anists. Jazz emerged 
full-blown circa the 
1890s in the rough- 
and-tumble saloons 


article By JOHN SINCLAIR leans and soon was carried Northward 


in the hands and horns of its practi- 

toners. By 1917, when the first jazz 
recordings were made in New York City, the music had spread 
from coast to coast and had invaded the cultural capitals of Eu- 
rope, where it was celebrated as an expression of the American 
genius fur synthesis and innovation. After three centuries of 
development, African-American music took its place on the 
world stage and popular music was forever changed. 

. 

Jazz's roots actually spring far from the American South. 
Such basic jazz elements as blue tonalities, polyrhythms, im- 
provisation, call-and-response patterns, the bass line and the 
shuffle at the bottom of the beat came from Africa with the 
ebony-hued people who were delivered here in chains from 
1619 оп 

In addition to their music, those involuntary emigrants of 
West Africa brought 
acultural belief that 
music was a function 
of daily Ше that 
could address соп- 
cerns both mortal 
and godly. Music 
and religion and ev- 
ery other part of 
life were all inter- 
twined. Fundamen- 
tally, West African 
religions were not 
crusading. When 
weaker communities 
were defeated іп 
battle, their more 
powerful neighbors 
characteristically 
enslaved them but 
allowed them to re- 
tain their own be- 
liefs and rituals. In 


and dance halls of 
uptown New Or- 


From Colonial times, African Americans nurtured their African musical roots in 
New Orleans’ Congo Square [above], an area just outside the French Quarter. 


fact, conquering 
nations frequently 97 


| SCULPTURE BY PARVIZ SADIGHIAN 4 


adopted reli- 
gious practices 
from their 
captives 
Later, when 
their cap- 
tors traded 


them to Eu- 
ropean slavers, 

however, the pris- 

oners discovered the far less 
ecumenical world of Christianity 
North American Christian masters 
regarded the Africans religious prac- 
tices as heretical and morally degenerate. 
Their music and other art forms, so inte- 
gral to their spiritual life, were antitheti- 
cal to the Anglo-European world view. 
Therefore, slaveowners persisted in 
stripping the former Africans of their 


traditions. Slave music, because it served 
as such а basic means of communication 
among Africans, was regarded with 
treme suspicion. Its inspirational а: 
unifying effect on slave communities 
made its suppression even more essential: 
The risk of slave insurrection was no 
small matter. 

There was an economic factor, too. Re- 
ligious rites in the isolation of the slave 
quarters were likely to go on with strenu- 
ous dancing and singing all night long, 
rendering entire work crews useless the 
next day, An aged former slave, George 
Blisset, told WPA researchers in the Thir- 
ties, “If they catched us, we got whipped. 
We couldnt look tired next day, either. 
First thing of driver say was that we was 
up late the night before, and he sure lay 
that bullwhip on our nckkid skin.” 


THE INVENTORS 


Sidney Bechet 
Eubie Blake 
Buddy Bolden 
W. C. Handy 
Alberta Hunter 
Scott Joplin 
Freddy Keppard 
Fate Marable 
Jelly Roll Morton 
King Oliver 
Kid Ory 
Ma Rainey 


Hence, the slaveowners were bent on 
eradicating African culture. The pl: 
of the drum, the dance in celebrati 
the gods of fertili 
of African systems of language and wor- 
ship were banned throughout the South 
for more than 200 years. 

The music of the slaves found only 
two acceptable outlets on the Southern 
plantations before the Civil War: work 
songs and church songs, which included 


Top left: A Union Army band, whose horns were likely pawned 
after the Civil War, helping place an array of instruments into the 
hands of African Americans forthe first time. Bottom left and be- 
low: Ads for black minstrel shows—white America's first taste 
of black music. Bottom: Jim Crow, the symbol for racist legislo- 
tion, which, in two waves, influenced the development of jazz. 


типа | | TO-DAY 


‘AFTERNOON S NIGHT PERFORMERS 
at the 


Show секем» 


[Ir Russ (t 


WALKED & ATKINS ШІБТІНУ 


ring and shuffle shouts, chants and spirit- 
uals adapted by slaves from African and 
European forms to express their tenta- 
ive embrace of Christianity. 

A close examination of carly Negro 
Christianity reveals its West African un- 
derpinnings. Many of Ше celebrated Ne- 
gro spirituals of the slave Baptists and 
Methodists were simply African con- 
cepts, musical constructs and existent 
compositions rendered into Creolized 
English and reconciled to the reigning 
orthodoxy. One Anglican churchman, 
traveling in Central Africa during the 
1800s, reported hearing natives sing “a 
melody so closely resembling Swing Low, 
Sweet riot that he felt that he had 
found it in its original form,” adding that 
the song s content was based on a local re- 
ligious myth of long standing. 

The slaves also infused the pallid 
Protestant hymns and psalms intro- 
duced to them through the popular 
Moody and Sankey songbooks with 
patent Africanisms, reshaping the 
lish forms in their own image and fitting 
them to their own circumstances and 
concerns. Syncopation, multiple rhythms 
and various characteristic West African 
vocal effects transformed them into the 
stomping, swinging, emotionally charged 
anthems of the black church. 

That is how African-American music 
stayed alive for two and a half centuries. 
While akers learned the English 
tongue and bent it musically to their will, 
the music, under cover of the church, 
overcame every attempt to eliminate it 
and, in turn, provided African Ameri- 
cans with a potent weapon 
in their long struggle 
against oppres- 
sion. 

Only after 
emancipa- 
tion did the 
religious 


RECOMMEND- 
ED READING 

Sidney Bechet, 
Treat lt Gentle 
(Da Capo) 

Rudi Blesh, Har- 
riet Janis, They All Played 
Ragtime (Grove) 

Amiri Baraka, Blues 
People (Morrow) 

Don М. Marquis, In 
Search of Buddy Bol- 
den: First Man of Jazz 
(Da Capo) 

Gailey Schuller, 
Eorly Jazz (Ox- 
ford University) 


GOOD LISTENING 
West African Music: Musique Kongo (Disques Ocora) 
Spirituals: Negro Church Music (Southern Folk Heritage Series/Atlantic) 
Georgia Sea-Island Songs (New World Records) 
Roots of Blues and Jazz: Riversides History of Classic Jazz, Volume 1 (Riverside) 
Ragtime: Scott Joplin Piano Rolls (Biograph) 
New Orleans Brass Bands: The Eureka Brass Band of New Orleans (Jazz at 
Preservation Hall, Volume 1) (Atlantic) 


~“TWOSTER < 


Top left: Original top sheet for The Mississippi Rag, one of the first rags to be published. Top right: King 
Oliver, a jazz originator, was among those inspired by trumpeter Buddy Bolden, whose Eagle Band 
[above] is considered the first jazz ensemble. Unschooled and untrained, the Eagle Band specialized 
in the funkiest renditions of the blues ever heard. Too bad no recordings by the Eagle band exist. 


ғ 


mask fall, revealing the ancestral 
music of West Africa. And in the one 
place where the ancestral forms had 
remained most intact, New Orlcans, 
a new music was brought to life by 
the sons and daughters of the slaves. 
. 

Sunday mornings it was different. 
He'd wake up and start to be а 
slave. . . . And then he'd hear drums 
from the square. First one drum, then 
another one answering it. Then a lot 
of drums. Then a voice, one voice. And 
then a refrain, a lot of voices joining 
amd coming into each other. And all of 
it having lo be heard. The music being 
born right inside itself, not knowing 
how it was getting lo be music, one 
thing being responsible for another. 
Improvisation . . . that’s what it was. It 
was primitive and it was crude, but 
down at the botiom of it. . . it had the 
same thing there is at the bottom of 
ragtime. It was already born in the 
music they played at Congo Square. 
—SIDNEY BECHET 


New Orleans has al- 
ways been different from 
the rest of the South and, 
as poet Kalamu ya Sa- 
laam puts it, “Our music 
i ." Founded 
by French Catholic ex- 
plorers in 1718 and oper- 
ated as a major North 
American outpost of 
Catholic civilization until 
its annexation by the 
United States (via the 
Louisiana Purchase) in 
1803, New Orleans stood 
apart from the Protestant South in sever- 
alimportant ways. As a major New World 
seaport connected to the West Indies, 
Africa and Europe, the city enjoyed a 
constant influx of people and cultures 
from all over the world, including free 
blacks from Haiti and San Domingo, as 
well as thousands of slaves brought di- 
rectly from West Africa. 

Asa Roman Catholic stronghold under 
French and, from 1763 to 1803, Spanish 
rule, New Or- 
leans developed 
a distinctive cul- 
tural milieu that 
stood in sharp 
relief against the 
Protestant back- 
drop of the 
British colonies. 
The infamous 
Louisiana "Black 
Codes of 1724,” 
which mandated 


death to slaves Top: Louis Armstrong (first row, sixth from left) grew up near Funky Butt Holl, 
who committed where Buddy Bolden played. Satchmo began in с reform school band, which 
certain (contin- he visited years loter. He also tooted aboard Mississippi riverboats (middle). 
ued on page 134) Piorist Jelly Roll Morton (above) ployed in brothels and cloimed he invented jazz. 


AFRICAN ARTIFACTS COURTESY OF GRUEN GALLERY. CHICAGO 


101 


x Regs 


MEET MISS JUNE 
AND YOU'LL AGREE: 


ONNIE RATES 


"As You CAN SEE," says Bonnie Marino, shaking her head sadly, “this has be 
up. It used to be rural and charming, and now there arc all these homes." Bonnie is giving 
a tour of the town of Lodi, in the agrarian heartland of California, where she grew up. In 
fact, she's right in front of the quaint two-story house she lived in with her parents, four 
brothers and sisters as a child. To a jaundiced urban eye, this area doesn't look overdevel- 
oped atall. The sturdy wooden house is bordered on three sides by vineyards that stretch 


103 


Long ogo. Bonnie dreomed of becoming 
o professional model. “I used to wish my 
mom would put me through modeling 
school,” she soys. But she wos olso drawn 
to medicine; ot the age of 15, she become o 
Candy Striper hospitol volunteer. Now Bonnie 
enjoys both worlds. “I believe everything 
happens for o reoson,” she philosophizes. 


ош endlessly. Sure, there's a cluster of newer homes—five or six of them. 
nearby, but it's a far cry from urban overcrowdi Hey, it's a far cry from 
rural overcrowding. But Miss June is a small-town girl, and proud of it. Al- 
though she'll tell you she has temporarily given up the gentleness of Lodi for 
the big city. she has actually moved just a few miles south to Stockton so that 
she and John. her husband of one year, can be closer to their jobs. With a 
population of fewer than 200,000, Stockton's a town where an eight-story 
building is considered a skyscraper. John works in construction and Bonnie 
CENTERFOLD PHOTOGRAPHY is a medical assistant. She currently works in a local clinic, Eventually, Bon- 
BY KIM MIZUNO nie and John may move to a smaller community. “I love small-town living." 
says Bonnie, 28. “1 like a low crime rate and privacy: I loved the feeling of 


104 PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY being safe I had when 1 was a child, of keeping the doors unlocked and 


“I used to think of myself os being very shy— even tock o drama class to help build up my confidence. But | olways 
loved having my picture token,” says Bonrie. “In foct, if | could have met anyone in the world | wonted, it would 
have been Morilyn Monroe, Her nudity wos recognized os on art form and she loved being photogrophed.” 


“I'm not a cauch potato. I have 
my work, my husband and I awn 
а baat and go water-skiing mast 
weekends an the Delta,” says 
Bonnie. “I love ta ride my bike, 
walk my dog ond spend time with 
friends, but mast evenings, | 
prefer ta just be with John.” 


knowing the neighbors. 
Thats what 1 want when I 
have a family.” Still, she ad- 
mits, there are drawbacks to 
rural living. “It limits you,” 
she says. “You don't have as 
many options as you do in the 


As a child, for instance, 
Bonnie dreamed of being a 
model or a dancer. But Lodi 
didnt have much call for ei- 
ther, so she concentrated. on 
her medical career. Then, a 
few years ago, she met 
Katherine Hushaw, the Octo- 
ber 1986 Playmate of the 
Month, who had also come 
from Lodi. Introduced by a 
local hairdresser, they became 
fast friends. When Bonnie 
looked at Kathy's pictures and 
said, “Gosh, I could do that,” 
Kathy agreed. The hairdress- 
er took some swimsuit shots 
and Kathy championed them 
at Playboy. The next thing 
Bonnie knew, she was on a 
plane headed for Playboy 
Mansion West. Her husband 
and family were thrilled. Her 
boss, the doctor, has been a 
Playboy subscriber for years 
and happily altered her 
schedule so she could fly to 
Los Angeles and Mexico for 
her photo sessions. Her moth- 
er was so proud she gathered 
up the test shots and showed 
them off to her co-workers. 

But no one is happier than 
Bonnie. “If being a Playmate 
leads to a big modeling job, 
that’s great. И not, thats fine, 
too. At least now I've fulfilled 
the dream I had as a young 
girl. Ive modeled for a big 
magazine. 1 think 1 have the 
best of both worlds.” 


PLAYMATE DATA SHEET 


same: Bonnie, Marino 

BUST: 5S WAIST: c ums; 25. 

HEIGHT: SS Hiis WEIGHT: c M 2 2. 8 

BIRTH DATE: 12-20-61 prermrrace: Cleveland, Ohio 

дивтттонв: ТО further contribute to Playboy. Advance 

-my medical and modeling career Become a Mother. 
TURN-ONS: SilK_nightgown.s warm summer months , soft whi spera 
Interesting conversations, trust in relationships, physical fitness. 
TURN-OFFS: i rug and environ b 


FAVORITE TV stars: Tracey Ullman, Shelley Long, Arsenio Hall 
FAVORITE AUTHORS: Russell W. Lake, Adelle Davis, Jules Verne. 


FAVORITE MUSICIANS Eric. Clapton Во nes, Beatles Elvis Presley. 
т AM WHO I AM BECAUSE: ОЁ Freedom of choice, Supportive 
Family and friends plus following му intuition and 
Occasionally my heart _ 

IDEAL EVENING: Sailing То û remote beach house, off the 
mainland, then having a fresh seafood dinner, as the. 
golden san sets, with the man I love. 


М 


Somewhat shy Re£res hi / 
Seventh grader pons uu (eta! 


PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES 


After several months on an island with just a pig 
and a Doberman for companions, the lonely man 
awoke one morning as horny as hell. Putting his 
natural reservations aside, he hungrily eyed the 
two animals, prudently settling on the pig. Just 
as he approached the porker, the dog ran up 
between them and began to snarl, putting an end 
to his amorous plans. 

After weeks of frustration, the man spotted a 
raft drifting onto shore. On board was an uncon- 
scious woman, For two weeks, the man tended 
her as best he could, barely able to take his eyes 
off her. Finally, she awoke. 

“Are you all right?” the man asked. 

“Oh, yes,” the woman replied. “How can 1 
ever thank you?” 

“Well. there is one thing . . ." the ecstatic man 
began. 

“Just name it,” she insisted. 

“Do you think you could take that damn dog 
for a walk 


How do San Franciscans perform sale sex? Ina 
doorway. 


During a long rain delay, the baseball announcer 
filled in time by providing some baseball tri 
for his color man. “Do you know who had the 
most home runs between 1955 and 19752" he 
asked rhetorically. “Hank Aaron. Do you know 
who had the most R.B.Ls between 1955 and 19752 
Hank Aaron. Do you know who got hit with the 
most balls in the face between 1955 and 19752” 
“Hank Aaron?” the color man guessed. 
“Nope,” replied the announcer. 


We've been told that a major ph 
company is introducing a new painkiller for 
masochists. It promises to bring slooow relief. 


A tourist was walking in mid-town Manhattan 
when he saw a man lying in the street. Rushing to 
his side, the newcomer bent down and asked, 


cs," the prostrate New Yorker re- 
plied. “I just found a parking space and I sent my 
wife to buy a car. 


The well-known televangelist returned from an 
overnight business trip and called his aide into 
his office. “Bob, the most incredible thing hap- 
pened last night in the hotel,” he began. “I had 
Just gotten into bed when the door burst open 
and in stepped the most gorgeous woman 1 had 
ever seen. And Bob, she was naked as a jay bird! 
Naturally, I drew the covers over my head and or- 
dered her to leave.” The minister noticed his 
aides skeptical expression. “Well,” he asked, 
“what would you have done?” 

“Reverend, Id have done the same thing you 
did, only 1 wouldnt have lied about it." 


What's the real reason Manuel Noriega left the 
Vatican embassy? Elvis snores. 


A man was walking down the strect, drag 
one foot, when he saw a man approaching him, 
walking the same was. As they passed each other, 
the first fellow smiled, gave a thumbs up and 
said, "Mekong Delta, 1969. 

"The second fellow smiled, returned the salute 
and said, “Dog shit, five minutes ago.” 


We understand th 
tions that require air 
honeymoon hotels. 


OSHA is preparing regula- 
bags on all headboards in 


Two former high school sweethearts met at th 
30th class reunion and chatted about the good 
old days. As they drifted on to more recent devel- 
opments in their lives, the man asked, “So, 
Donna, how have you been 

"I have some good news and some bad news,” 
she replied. 
k 


е a complete hysterectomy.” 

“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,” he consoled. “But 
what's the good news?” 

"Well" she said, grinning sheepishly, “we 
nd your class ring. 


for 


Heard а funny one lately? Send it on a post- 
card, please, to Party Jokes Editor, Playboy. 
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illinois 
6061. 8100 will be paid to the contributor 
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned. 


Laugh along with Playboy on The Party Joke Line, 
1-900-740-3311. Or tell a joke of your own! The 
charge is only two dollars per minute. 


Рис“, 6 


“Just think how great this guy would 
be without the strait jackel.” 


115 


116 


IENTLENEN 
HA 
YOUR BE 


article 


Di ANDREW BEYER 


how to make the most 
of a day at ће races 


ON A CLEAR, beautiful, blue-skied day іп Mi- 
ami last winter, nothing was clearer or more 
beautiful than my insight into the second 
race at Gulfstream Park. As 1 studied the 
data in the Daily Racing Form, 1 could barely 
contain my excitement 

Cougar Island had run at Gulfstream two 
weeks earlier, and on paper, his perform- 
ance looked mediocre: He had shown brief 
speed but had tired to finish 12 lengths be- 
hind the winner. I had watched all of the 
races that day and I had concluded that the 
inside part of the track had been deep and 
tiring—no horse running near the rail had 
been able to win. Cougar Island had been 
pinned on the ғай, battling head and head 
with two very fast rivals before he suc- 
cumbed. His show of speed under those 
conditions had, in fact, been an admirable 
effort. Now he was entered against a very 
different kind of field, one in which all of the 
other horses tended to break slowly and rally 
in the stretch. Cougar Island had the poten- 
tial to burst out of the starting gate and take 
а commanding lead without even being 
challeng 

As post time approached, with Cougar Is- 
land ten to one on the odds board, I whis- 
pered to a confidant, “This is as close to a 
perfect situation as you're ever going to sce." 
Of course, Г had uuered similar sentiments 
hundreds of times in the past and had fre- 
quently been wrong, because of either faulty 
judgment or bad luck. This is not an casy 
ame. Even so, a commited horse player 
annot waver when he holds such a strong 
opinion, and I bet as much on Cougar Island 


PAINTING BY LEROY NEIMAN 


PLAYBOY 


118 


as a rational man could reasonably bet on 
a horse that had never won a race. 

1 watched intently as the starting gate 
sprung open—and after only а few 
strides, I knew I had been right. Cougar 
Island cruised to the lead effortlessly and 
was four lengths in front before his jock- 
ey had even urged him to run. After he 
crossed the wire six lengths in front of 
his nearest pursuer, I was standing at 
the cashier's window, collecting neatly 
wrapped packets of $100 bills, геа 
ing once again my conviction that this is 
the most wonderful game in the world. 

Other people who love Thoroughbred 
racing may rhapsodize about the nobility 
of the animals, about the beauty and am- 
bience of the best race tracks, about the 
pure excitement of the sport; but the rea- 
son that racing has so many passionate 
devotees is summed up by my experience 
with Cougar Island. This is a participa- 
tory sport; people in the grandstand are 
involved as actively as jockeys, trainers 
and owners, for they are playing a gam- 
bling game that is endlessly fascinating 
and challenging. The outcomes of horse 
races are influenced by so many complex 
factors that no computer has ever been 
able 10 master the game. So when a horse 
player does pick a winner and makes а 
triumphant visit to the cashier's window, 
he feels a sense of exhilaration very 
much different from the way a gambler 
feels when he wins money on the roll of 
dice or the spin of a rouleue wheel. A 
DIT at the track represents a reward 
for skill and judgment, not a lucky guess 
ona random event. Indeed. the first rush 
of excitement a horse player feels after 
winning a race comes from the knowl- 
edge that he has been right when most of 
the people around him have been wrong: 
the money is secondary. Novices cashing 
а two-dollar bet will experience much the 
same kind of elation that a professional 
does when he is collecting one of those 
neat packets of $100 bills. 

Ask any passionate horse player about 
his first trip to the track, his first bet, his 
first winner, and he is likely to remember 
it as vividly as his first love. iam Mur- 
ray, a writer for The New Yorker and the 
author of several race-track novels, told 
me this archetypal first-trip-to-the-track 
story: “I was sixteen, home from prep 
school and staying with my father in New 
“ Murray My cousin had 
married a horse degenerate named Har- 
ry Woodard, and he suggested we go to 
the races at old Aqueduct. My father ob- 
jected but thought it would be a good 
moral lesson for me to watch Harry blow 
a bundle. 

“We had five winners in a row and we 
came to a race where Harry said, ‘No- 
body can pick this race; Bill, you pick it,” 
and my horse barreled in at nineteen to 
one. We swept into New York, had dinner 

(continued on page 127) 


THE RACE 


CARD 


EXACTA WAGERING ON THIS RACE 
ICK-SIX WAGERING CLOSES ONE MINUTE 


BEFORE POST TIME OF THE THIRD RACE. 


S 


MAIDEN 


PURSE $13,000 


S | 


won PLACE 


snow 


army 
- 


p 


3 


(Plus 53900 КТОЕ and $1470 КООТВ) 


FOR MAIDEN THREE-YEAH-OLOS AND UPWARD. Three-year-005. 112 IDS 
older. 122 los 


Track Record DOGDON (1121185. 175, Revenber s 


MAKE SELECTION BY NUMBE 


bd 


p 


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RENSSELAER. ABACO ISLAND, САСО HILL 
MEDICATION BLINKERS ON JOCKEY 
Lasix is used to aid Blinkers are used to 
respiration; when force a horse to vital, the 
horses are treated look straight ahead. 
with it for the first Young, lightly raced 
ime, they stand a horses often im- 
improv- prove sharply when 
ing phenomenally. equipped with them. 


Although his role is 


jockey 


should never be the 
main reason for a 
wager on a horse. 
The public overbets 
the top riders; the 


odds on a horse will 


be depressed if 


being ridden by a 
star such as Pat Doy. 


ШЕШІ 


how to read the “daily racing form” and the race card 


TRAINER 

The trainer controls a horse's destiny much 
more than the jockey does. Look elsewhere in 
the program for a list of the leading trainers 
and note those with high winning percentages. 


WEIGHT 
The, weight carried by a horse is the most 
overrated factor. Beginners can ignore if. 


DAILY RACING FORM 


DISTANCE 

Western Playboy's last race was at 
1% miles. A shorter race would be 
shown in terms of furlongs (eighths of 
а mile); 6f would denote a %-mile 
race. Distance runners, especially 
slow starters such as Western 
Playboy, don't do well when they are 
entered in sprints. But sprinters 
frequently win long races by going to 
the front and holding on all the way. 


+ Ch. Jv) by Play Fellow Werd Hope by Dani! Boone 
WESTERN PLAYBOY’ lentas qye وی‎ 


әлеге му & Script R Farm Те nier a 
(иоавд орь. tsi 48. HA I-41 Pa Derby 10 ІР e 1 19 


ет 
Шееле ва (Ve ATA MIS [S] Her 4444 а пик 


RUNNING LINE 

The horse's position at four stages of a race, 
including the finish. Western Playboy was 
eighth, six lengths behind the leader, in the 
early part of his last start. Midway through, 
he had moved up to be first, a head in front of 
the next horse, Entering the stretch, he was 
first by ten lengths. At the finish, he led by 17. 


Horses that won or finished close in their last 
race are obviously in good form. Horses that 
showed speed fo the stretch before seeming 
to tire are often candidates to improve. 


OVER-ALL RECORD 

These figures show а horse's total 
number of starts and the number of 
first-, second- and third-place 
finishes. Horses with a high winning 
percentage often make good bets, as 
opposed to “sucker horses” with a 
preponderance of seconds and thirds. 


еште не 04121) umm 
4 zu тв 42 2 0 


122 


91-03 Western Playboy m pm 12 Tricky Creek 122 Ridden out 0 


DayP ІШ 24) 86:22 Western Playboy 121°% Тед Zing 121 Ankles 112? Отор 6 
¡ED DP kt Ye ЯВИ 135 200% Amer Derby 88419 ВИ НИ Perna D I26 480 80-8 Ave irspirmg 067: ега 120 Caesar ІМ! 
ив Grade 1 
LRP Ви РА. MBA НО ЯВИ Паш 1 87е ч у Вада D 126 790 75-23 Clever Trevor 06" Во ПА“ Western Playtoy 04 
ISjly89-Grade 1 
ESAD my ПА АИ 13795205 Ky Derby 116 M МЕ 19^ [SUYA Romero RP 126 950 4917 Sunday Silence 1267 Easy Goer 126% Ане ри Г Ошан Б 
Gtayê-Grade | 
164 89-Bkee my РА BA E12 SI; Blue Grass 455 DI Romero РП 7100 78-11 Westem Playboy 121% Dispersal 121" yy Creek ІШ" [ Inpeied 6 
рапа | 
Speed Index: Last Race: 0.0 3-Race Avg: +3.3 10-Race Avg.: 17 „Ar 
TEST WORKOUTS: NovlGP 4fist49B e Oct 28 Kee Ist :ZTUH бесі Kee 4ffst:49 B f fst 1:174 H 


DATE OF THE LAST RACE 
A good recent race, within the last week or two, 
usually means the horse is in good condition. 


TROUBLE LINE 

The Racing Form shows when a horse may 
have encountered bad luck in a previous 
start, such as “Wide first turn” or “Impeded.” 


119 


how and 
where to ride 
the latest 


NOT LONG AGO, it was easy lo own a bike. Greg 
LeMond wasnt a role model, the bike path 
hadn't been invented yet, helmets were for foot- 
ball and about the only thing finer than owning 
a new "English racer” was the rush you felt 
when you and your ten-speed became one 
mean piece of machinery. The modern versions 


of those English u 


peeds are faster, sleeker 

and featherlight, and most have about 21 gears, enabling the 
rider to handle the 11 new types of topography that appar- 
ently were discovered in the past few decades. 

Not only is the bicycle of the Nineties hot, its downright 
sexy. Guys who have never before straddled an inanimate 
object are mounting up and doing some up-close-and-per- 
sonal drafting of the opposite sex on bike paths across the 


country. Bicyde magazines are even taking surveys on bik- 


ing and sex: Yes, its supposed to be better before you ride. 


Climbing onto the saddle of a bicycle is not purely a testos- 


terone-driven function, though it is a great way to work up a 
sweat. There are serious environmental considerations to 
owning and riding a bike. The rider takes an environmen- 
tally sound piece of equipment out into its element. No 
fumes, no noise, no divots, no damage. It’s a clean sport. So 


much so that, in many states, mountain bikers һауе adopted 


alist of rules and regulations for off-road riding designed to 


protect wild lands and improve the image of 


Unlike the nations that treat their bicycles as a viable 
means of transportation, we are not a country of pragmatic 


two-wheelers. We fancy products replete with bells and 


high-tech bikes, 

from bad-boy 

mountain cycles 
to 21-speed 


road rockets 


whistles. All this has led to a 


nomenon in the cycling industry. We now pu 


interesting phe- 


chase our bicycles in much the same way we 
assemble our stereo systems. Components— 
headsets and stems, gearing and braking com- 
ponent groups, pedals, chains, rims, tires, 
handle bars and seats—all are as mixable and 
matchable as a high-end tuner/receiver is with 
kes of loud-speakers available. 

ke shop and you'll find a 


the umpteen n 


Stroll into ab 
of the latest that the technology has to offer. Meet the Alien 
ACX from Nishiki, the Prelude from Schwinn, Hulfys Tri- 
ton and the Klein Attitude. 

Familiarize yourself with such creatures as the Mongoose, 
the Ascent from Diamond Back, Fat City’s Wicked 
id Bruce 
hoppers from Specialized and Iguanas from Giant. Sure, 
you'll find that many of the high-end manufacturers, such as 


ual parking lot 


ut 


Chance a ;ordon's Rock п Road. There are Rock- 


Trek with its hot 970 and Kestrel with the MX-Z, still just 


number their models, and this seems to work out fine. But 
the merry pranksters down at the bike f 


have stayed up late personifying their offerings with exotic 


ctories seem to 


names and kick-ass designs. 
Here are some easy-to-follow guidelines. 
All-terrainimountain bikes: These are the bad boys of bik- 

ing. Resembling racing bikes on steroids, they were created 

10 get down and dirty and to like it. ATB/mountain-bike 


Frames, forks, headsets and stems are heavy hitters made of 


tions of both. The brakes are по- 


titanium, steel or combin 
nonsense. Contrai 
looking all-terrainers are not (text concluded on page 162) 


y t0 first impression, the newer, pufly- 


PHOTOGRAPHY BV FICHARO IZUI 


121 


Left: Molded from the same material 
that is used to construct jet fighters, 
the Zipp 3000 wheel is, at obout two 
pounds, the lightest composite spoke 
wheel in the world, The three 
cerofoil spokes are designed to 
reduce drag and let oir flow through 


Below: For the serious biker, 
theres Aero Ill time-triol 


bors, o handle-bar set that’s the wheel to ease handling, by 
geared to fost riding. The Compositech, Indianapolis, $885. 
armrests ore odjustoble ond 
the bars feature a seamless 
one-piece construction that's 


ergonomicolly designed for 
natural wrist ongles when 
grasped, by Profile far 
Speed, Chicogo, 59995. 


Amm. 


Right: The super- 


е strong Xizong LE 
Limited Edition oll- 
terrain/mountoin- 


bike frome of | 
handcratted titoni- 
um is о high-tech 
onswer to o bikers 
weightand 

needs, by GT Bi- 
cycles, Huntington 
Beach, Colifornia, 


Below: The Triton, о hybrid er $2400 complete. 
cousin to Olympic-coliber o 

racing bicycles, is designed 
and built from its riders 
meosurements, specifico- 


$8500, withnifty HED wheels 
ond Shimano components. 


Right: Your favorite trail will be more 
comfortable to navigate if you equip 
your all-terrain/mountoin bike with o 
Rock Shox shock-absorption system 
for the front fork thats air-sprung 
ond tunable to match your weight 
ond the terrain you'll be riding 
over, from Kestrel Cycle Composites, 
Watsonville, Colifornio, about $400. 


Shimano uniquely designed Ropidfire broke- 
ond-shift-lever system lets you shift gears with 
“. your thumb while mointoining control of the 
= brokes ond keeping your grip on the handle bars, 
from Shimano Americon, Irvine, Californio, $125. 


Below: Copping an attitude 
is the Klein Attitude moun- 

tain bike, with its tough, 

ultrolightweight, oversized 

ommum fone forks ETT 
headset ond stem, by Klein — 

Bicycles, Chehalis, Wash- 

ington, $2195, with Compo- 


Below: Compagnolos Delta 
broke, from its Record 
group of components, із о 
center-pull, adjustable stop- 


124 


WORDS TO 
THE CYCLE- WISE 


Know your downstrokes (pushing 
the pedal down) from your upstrol 
Heres a brief bicycle-English dic- 
tionary: 

Attack: In a race, a fast breakaway 
from other riders. 

The Bonks: Total exhaustion from 
hard riding, You're bonked. 

Century: А 100-mile ride. 

Clinchers: Tires with separate inner 
tubes. 

Criterium: Street race held on 
closed streets, between one and three 
kilometers long. 

Hammering: Riding hard. Leads to 
the bonks. 

LSD: Long. steady distance. A two- 
hour-plus training ride 

Road Rash: Abrasions from a fall. 

Зад Wagon: Repair vehicle that fol- 
lows racers. 

Silks: Lightweight racing tires with 
silk threads. They cost more than cot- 
tons 

Sit on a Wheel: Tail another cyclist 
to exploit the slip stream. 

Velodrome: Banked oval bicycle-rac- 
ing track. 


GREAT 
DESTINATIONS 


Pump пра mountain, tour a coun- 
v or catch a race: Here is a potpour- 
ri of the best biking bets. 


FOUR DELUXE BICYCLE TOURS 


1. Custom Tours, by cle Holi- 
RD3, Вох 2304]W. Middlebury, 
mont 05753. This company spe- 
cializes in bike tours in Vermont tai: 
lored to your wishes. You can camp 
out or stay in luxury inns and even 
travel with a full-support van. The 
price: about $80 to $100 per person 
per day (much less if you camp out). 
2. The Scottish Borders and Low- 
lands, by Peter Costello, Lid., PO. Вох 
23490. Ваш . Maryland 21203. 
Si nd nine-day guided tours south 
from Edinburgh along the River 
Tweed through the land of kilts, bag- 
pipes and single-mali whisky. The 
price: $600 to $850 per person, not 
including air fare. 
З. Burgundy and Beaujolais, by 
Iravent International/ Vermont Coun- 
try Gyders, PO. Box 305, Department 
990P Waterbury Center, Vermont 
05677. Eight days traveling on country 
lanes through some of the world's 


finest vineyards. The includes a 
stay at the romantic Chateau de Pizay 
and dining in four-star restaurants 
“The price: $2075 per person, not іп- 
cluding air fare. Tours are also avail- 
able to other French regions, as well as 
to Switzerland. Ireland, Italy, Hol- 
land, n and North America 

4. Bali Mountain Bike Tours, by 
Backroads Bicycle Touring. 1516 Fifth 
Street, Suite M29, Berkeley, Califor 

94710. During the day: you'll pedal 

past temples and black sand. At night, 
you'll relax in lusury hotels and tradi- 
tional native inns. Tired? Just hop 
aboard the дето, your Balinese sup- 
port van. The pric per pi 
son, пос including air fare. Oth 
tours are available to North America 
Europe, Hawaii, қ 
Zealand, China and That 


FIVE CONZO MOUNTAIN TRAILS 


1. White Mountain P 
65-mile route st 
Bishop, California, that goes up to 
higher than 14.000 feet. Not for the 
faint of heart. There's usually a group 
ride in July organized by Rick Wheel- 
1375 Hearst. Berkeley, California 
94702. 
2. The Resurrection Pass trail on 
Peninsula. Gold min- 
ers originally packed in supplies ov 
this trail that's now used by bikers, 
snowmobilers, hikers and horseback 
riders. For six to 11 hours, you pedal 
nd moose. 
usually a group ride in Au- 
gust. For more informa 
of 
lace, #657, Anchorage. Alaska 
м. 
3. Slick Rock in Moab, Utah. Bikers 
n from as far off 
ew the stunning vi 


The ride is only 12 
to five hours. but don’t 
Бе lulled—it doesnt come апу 
tougher than this. 
4. American Birkebeiner in the 
winter is a top Wisconsin cross-coun- 
ng trail. In the summer. it's a 
north woods bike trail that runs 40 
miles from Hayward to Cable, up 
rolling hills, across streams and 
through dense fir forests. 
5. Pe 5 іс. Riders bike 
m C 
1880s ore-I 1 for mules, over 
12700-foot Pearl Pass to Aspen, 33 
miles away. The ascent is 3500 feet 


on the Crested Butte side. 
on the Aspen s 

Tour is September 13 10 16. 
Bike Week is July 7 to 15. 


BIKE FIRST AID 


What if you're hammering through 
Dei Valley and one of your bike 
tires blows? You won't be buzzard 
brunch if youre prepared with a tool 
kit that includes tire irons (tools to 
pop the tire free), a tire patch and a 
pump. It also helps if you've had 
somebody walk you through a flat- 
fixing drill and you've packed The 
Roadside Guide to Bike Repair. Other 
preventive medicine indude: 

ery time you ride, check tires, 
brakes and lights. 

Every two weeks (and whenever 
your bike gets rained on), clean and 
lubricate the chain. 

* Every month, lubricate the brakes 
and derailleur (the mechanism that 
moves the chain from gear to gear). 
Check for worn brake pads and wheel 
wobbles. 

* Every six months, tighten all bolts. 

«Every year, have the derailleur 
overhauled and replace brake pads 
and brake and shifting cables 


KEEPING 
YOUR WHEELS 


ls a jungle ош there. So what can 
you do about bike heists on those 
mean streets? 

Rule one: Take it with you. Like into 
your hotel гооп 

Rule two: Many police departments 
lend tools for aving your driver's- 
license number on the frame, so you 
can reclaim your recovered stolen 
bike. 

Rule three: If your bike must stand 
unguarded, lock it to a parking meter 
or any post with a top that bulges or 
tees. Take off the front wheel and put 
the locks bar or cable through the 
rear wheel, front wheel and frame— 
bike parts are almost as valuable as 
the frame. Some mount bike seats 
pop off. requiring a special lock. 

Rule four: Invest. A top-grade lock, 
such as Kryptonite’s Rock II (about 

tops 42-inch Бой cutters, hack 

pry bars and hammers. If your 

stolen while protected with a 

k 11. Kryptonite will give you a 

check equal to the bikes value up to 
$1000, except in New York City. 

RICHARD AND JOYCE WOLKOMIR 


PATRICK MAGAUD 


A рой ا اا‎ 
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„.meettherightgirl. | 


~ Born: Bremen, Germany 
Most Appealing Qualities: A faoulous body, 

- great head on her shoulders, incredibly good taste. 
Favorite Pastimes: Getting picked up at bars, d 
being the most popular girl at parties. ‹ 

Favorite Kind of Guy: One who admires a girl 

for her purity. 

Quote: “1 love to hang around and talk, so tear out 
my poster and call me at 1-900-990-MIRG. , 
Each week!'Il give you seven new opening lines 
you can use to meet girls like me.” опе minute call 85 


SO there | was, waiting at the bar. 
Waiting for a guy like you. It was dark. | 
Smoky. The music was driving. lt was 
a night filled with promise. 
Then you walked in, looking for a 

good time. Right away you saw what 
I had to offer. You fell for my fabulous 
body, my obvious good taste. 

Your throat went dry. You wanted 

me. You knew this was your night to... 


MEAE 
AMANDI RN 


“I think we're in deep trouble, Herman! 


PLACE YOUR BETS cond jm e m 


“My father asked, ‘How did you do?’ I said, T won 
four C notes. Why dont we do this more often?” 


scalped Broadway tickets and got 
home at two Ам. My father was propped 
up in bed, reading Thucydides in the 
original Attic Greek, and he asked, Ном 
did you do? I said, ‘Harry won fourteen 
Gs and I won four С notes. Why don't we 
do this more often?” 

Decades later. horses are still Murray's 
passion; one memorable day at the track 
changed the course of his life. And the 
spirit with which he approached his first 
day at the races is one that every novice 
should embrace. Don't go to the track as a 
spectator; be an active participant. That 
isn’t always casy; Despite the enormous 
appeal of the sport, the race track can be 
an intimidating place for a newcomer. It 
doesn't have the congenial atmosphere 
of, say, a New York Giants game or a 
Bruce Springsteen concert, where every 
body has come for the same shared expe- 
rience. It is a subculture with its own 
special language and code of conduct. 
Under the system of wagering that pre- 
vailsat all American tracks, horse players 
bet against one another, not against the 
house. So even though the player stung 
next to you may be a kindred spirit, he is 
also an adversary. A neophyte who walks 
into a track with no preparation may feel 
that he is in a bewildering or even hostile 
environment. 

When friends ask me to take them to 
the races for the first time, I am happy to 
oblige, but I always insist on conducting a 
tutorial session before we go. It begins 
with a reading from the sport's bible. 

. 

Тһе Daily Racing Form: On a few oc- 
casions, 1 have been at tracks where the 
delivery of the Daily Racing Form was de- 
layed by natural disaster, and horse play- 
ers have reacted with the shock and sense 
of helplessness that eastern European ci 
ns might feel when their stores run out 
of bread and milk, Life without it is un- 
thinkable. 

A beginner should buy a copy of the 
Form and familiarize himself with it be- 
fore he ever sets foot inside a track. For- 
get the editorial content; the heart of the 
newspaper is the records of horses en- 
tered in every race—the past perform- 
ances, ог PPs. They summarize a horse's 
over-all record and describe in detail 
each of its last ten starts; models of conci- 
ston, they compress all the information 
about each previous race into a single 
line of type. No racing paper in the world 
comes close to providing the quantity of 
information that American horse players 


take for granted in the Form. 

Study of the Form can be an arcane sci- 
ence, but even a casual fan can glance at 
the PPs and tell which horses are coming 
into a race after sharp recent efforts, 
which ones can be expected to show early 
speed and which will come from behind, 
which are consistent and which are crrat- 

„Ма horse player has even a rudimen 
lary understanding of the Form, just 
about everything that happens at the 
track will be comprehensible to him. 
Take a look at the box on page 119 for a 
guide to the small print. 

One important caveat: When studying 
the Form, don't wear light-colored cloth- 
ing. Despite its $2.50 price, which makes 
it the most expensive daily newspaper in 
America. the Eastern edition of Rupert 
Murdochs publication employs cheap 
ink, so a serious player who spends an 
hour making notations on it will find that 
his forearm has turned black. Dress ap- 
propriately. 


. 

Accommodations: Race tracks offer 
general-admission seating in the grand- 
stand and the clubhouse (typically, about 
two dollars and four dollars, respective- 
ly), reserved seats (another buck or two) 
and a dining room. Some have a posh 
private turf club. This is a matter of per- 
sonal preference, but if I wanted a tuxe- 
doed waiter serving me duck à l'orange, 1 
would be more inclined to go to a restau- 
rant than to Aqueduct. 

1 like to savor the atmosphere of the 
race track. Clubhouse general admission 
usuallv offers adequate seating and a lev- 
el of civility that is acceptable to all but 
the most fastidious racegoers. If you go 
with binoculars, try to find a high loca- 
tion near the finish wire with good sight 
lines. If vou don't have binoculars, find a 
spot near a television monitor. 

. 

Tip Sheets, Touts and Turf Advi 
sors: After entering the track, you will 
buy the official program, an essential 
source of late information that may not 
be in the Racing Form: the beting num- 
bers for the horses, the final jockey as 
signments, the names of horses receiving 
medication. And as you are getting your 
program, someone nearby will be im- 
ploring you to buy a tip sheet, a one-page 
publication with a name such as “Eddie's 
Green Card,” promising the winners of 
the day's races. 


There was a ume when innocents at 
the track were well advised to stay away 
from any stranger offering advice or in- 
formation. Tip-sheet sellers would often 
keep a small printing press in a truck 
near the track; after four or five races, 
they would reprint their card, telling late 
arrivals that they had picked all the win- 
ners who had run so far and distributing 
the phony cards after the races as bait for 
the next day. Worse than the tip-sheet 
sellers were the touts—hustlers who 
would approach strangers and claim to 
have inside information on the upcoming 
race that they would share in exchange 
for a wager on the horse. In a ten-horse 
race, a tout would ideally try to find ten 
clients and whisper to them the names of 
ten horses. 

Flagrant con artistry is rarer nowa- 
days, not because the human soul has 
become nobler but because there are 
enough good sources of race-track infor- 
mation to have driven out most of the bad 
sources. Selectors for many daily newspa- 
pers are serious students of the game. 
Some tip sheets—such as “The Wizard,’ 
"Inside Track by the . Beard" and 
"Clocker Lawton" at the New York tracks 
and “Baedekers Guide" іп Californ 
are well respected and have earned an 
enthusiasuc following. The West Coast, 
in fact, has given rise to an entire indus- 
try of turf advisors. The Western edition 
of the Racing Form is filled with ads for 
breakfast seminars, typically costing $20, 
where a professional handicapper will 
analyze the day's card: the presentations 
are usually enlightening. 

So there is no harm in seeking profes- 
sional counsel at the track, but in the long 
run, there is no profit in it, either. А two- 
dollar bet on the selections of even the 
best public handicappers would almost 
certainly produce a loss over a long peri- 
od of time. A bettor may listen to others, 
but he should ulumately make his own 
deci: - At the very least, he will get to 
enjoy the mental stimulation of analyzing 
the races and the special satisfaction that 
comes from picking a winner that he can 
call his own. 


. 

Handicapping: A newcomer to the 
track will immediately be struck by the 
seriousness of the people around him. 
Many will be reading the Racing Form 
with the earnestness of Talmudic scholars 
and discoursing knowledgcably about 
the horses in the next race. When the 
race is run, however, it may look like such 
a chaotic scramble that nobody can real- 
istically have predicted its outcome. And, 
indeed, when it is over, the vast majority 
of those same souls who were por 


17 


PLAYBOY 


128 


over the Form will be tearing up their 
tickets and cursing their bad fortune. 

It may appear that people trying to 
make logical sense of horse races are 
playing a fool's game, one as hopeless as 
that of casino gamblers who think they 
can beat roulette with a system. But 
Thoroughbred races arent a random 
spin of the wheel. They are sufficiently 
governed by the logic that. at every track, 
there are a few quiet, anonymous pro- 
fessionals or semiprolessionals who will 
dependably make money over the long 
term by betting the horses. Few fit the 
Runyonesque image of а swaggering 
gambler with a loud sports coat and a big 
ar. Many are college-educated; most 


are serious-minded and studious to the 
t of obsessiveness. They may employ 


pe 
widely diverse methods of handicap- 
ping—the term that encompasses the en 
lire process of analyzing a race. Many 
modern-day handicappers use complex 
mathematical methods to analyze the 
times of races and to evaluate horses on 
the basis of their speed. Others depend 
on watching races intently, looking for 
horses that are blocked or bumped or 
otherwise victimized by bad racing luck. 
Some place an emphasis on their obser- 
vations of horses in early-morning work- 
outs. Some judge horses according to 
their physical condition as they warm up 
before a race. All of these approaches 
demand virtually full-time effort, and 
realistically, a once-a-week horse player 
cannot expect to enjoy the same results 
as a professional. Yet the existence of the 
pros proves that racing is not necessarily 
а sucker's game, and that putting effort 
into handicapping can pay off. 
. 

The Paddock: The most picturesque 
part of a race track is the paddock and 
walking ring, where trainers will saddle 
their horses and confer with their jockeys 
before boosting them onto the horses’ 
backs. In an era when the trend of the in- 
dustry is toward off-track betting and the 
development of simulcast facilities—race 
tracks with no live horses—bettors some- 
times forget that this sport is being con- 
ducted by magnificent flesh-and-blood 
animals capable of achieving specds of 
40 miles per hour, the product of two 
centuries of concerted human effort to 
breed the ultimate running machine. 
The paddock is where you may admire 
these animals at close side 
pleasure that should not be missed. 

Some expert bettors rely heavily on 
their judgment of the horses’ appearance 
before a race, but it takes a great deal of 
experience to develop the necessary visu- 
al skills. Even so, newcomers might visit 
the paddock and try to spot animals that 
look more robust than their rivals. that 


arent sweating profusely ог wearing 
front-leg bandages, and that seem to ex- 
ude an air of controlled energy. 

. 

Odds and the Tote Board: On a large 
electronic board in the middle of the 
inheld and оп television monitors 
throughout the track, odds for each 
horse in the upcoming race are displayed 
and updated minute by minute, The 
odds are determined by the amoi 
money bet on each horse. The track itself 
acts as a middleman: It accepts the 
gers, takes a fixed fee for its services and 
pays all of the remaining money to the 
winners. (The track cut. plus taxes that 
go to the state, may typically be 17 per- 
cent.) Unlike a casino, which makes mon 
су when its customers lose theirs, the 
track is a neutral participant in the gam- 
bling process. 

И the crowd at a track bets $200,000 
опа race, and the track removes its 17 
percent "take." or $34.000, the sum of 
8166.000 will be distributed to people 
who have bet the winner. If the crowd 
has bet a total of $16.600 on the winning 
horse. a successful betor will get bac 
ten dollars for each dollar he wagered. If 
the crowd has bet $83,000 on the horse, a 
winner will collect two dollars for each 
dollar he bet. 

Nobody has to worry about these cal- 
a because а computer makes 
4 shows the probable return in 
the form of odds. The odds signify the 
amount of profit a bettor will make for 
each dollar he wagers. [fa horse is 7-1. a 
bettor will make a seven-dollar profit for 
cach dollar he puts in—in addition to 
getting his initial investment back. Be- 
cause the basic unit of race-track wager- 
ing is two dollars, a 7-1 shot will pay 
SI6—a $14 profit, plus the original two- 
dollar bet. 

When horses are heavily bet, their 
odds are quoted differently—for exam- 
ple, eight to five—to permit a more pre- 
cise estimation of the рауой. A tote 
board will read 8-5 because it cant use 
decimal points and say that a horses 
odds are 1.610 1. which is the same thing. 
Such a horse would return a $3.20 profit 
for two dollars, plus the original two dol- 
lars, for a payoff of $5.20. Most race-track 


programs list the рауой for such odds, 
them 


but all serious bettors qui 
by heart. 


А 

Types of Wagers: For 
tory of Thoroughbred racing, the object 
of the game has been to pick the best 
in the race and bet that he will win. 
the mid-Seventies, race track 
ave offered an ever-growing array of 
otic" or “multiple” 
exactas, trifectas, pick 


twin trifectas, double quinellas—that in- 
volve picking more than one horse or 
race. (Check the tracks program for ех 
planations of the betting options.) The 
most popular form of betting at Ameri- 
сап tracks today is the exacta, which re- 
quires picking the first two finishers m a 
race in the correct order. 

Traditionalists decry the new forms of 
wagering, saying that they have turned a 
grand sport into a lottery or a numbers 
game; but for most horse players. these 
exotic wagers have been a welcome in- 
vention, In the old days of simple win bet 
ting, it was virtually impossible for a 
beuor with a moderate bank roll to walk 
out of the track with a huge pro But 
when an exacta combining two logical 
horses can easily pay 50-1, and when 
more exotic wagers sometimes return 
payoffs in the hundreds of thousands of 
dollars, horse racing offers possibilities 
for turning a modest investment into a 
«Шай profit. 

Even so, the natural instinct of new- 
comers is to bet cautiously. They may be 
inclined to make show wagers—i.c.. bet 
that a horse finish first. second or 
third—which are relatively easy to win 
but yield low payoffs. As a rule, these 
players will cash a few tickets. collecting 
$7.20 here and $3.60 there, and go home 
losing a few dollars. То people with this 
prudent approach. | say, Dont bea wimp. 
L you want to be cautious with your mon- 
ey, buy a savings bond. 

When | escort novices to the track, I 
recommend that they take a modest 
amount of capital that they are prepared 
to lose—an amount, say that they 
wouldn't mind spending on dinner in a 
fancy restaurant. But they should bet this 
money aggressively, not defensively, try- 
ing to make one or two hits that will pro- 
duce a profit for the entire day. Exactas 
are the best vehicle. A common sti 
is to “box” three horses—play all poss 
combinations involving those horses— 
which costs $12 for a two-dollar unit bet. 
Another is to “key” one horse over two or 
three others—bet horse to finish 
first, in combination with other possible 
second-place finisher: 

б 

At the Betting Windows: As post 
time approaches, horse players converge 
оп the betting windows to get their wa- 
gers down, and while the scene may ap- 
pear to be frenzied and chaotic, itis (or at 
least ought to be) governed by a strict 
code of conduct. Bettors should be 
thoughtful enough to call their bets in 
the proper fashion, conclude the transac- 
tion as quickly as possible and allow the 
next person in line to reach the seller. 

Ir is impermissible for the beuor to зау 
to the ticket seller something like this: “1 
think Um going to box two, seven and 

(continued on page 158) 


wi 


4 five 


your relationship із 
new, still fresh; you're 


nervous, maybe 


apprehensive. You've 
been plotting a long 
weekend together, 
possibly to Mexico, but you're not cer- 
tain. You want creature comforts, lots of 
hot water, nonstop fresh linen and tow- 
els—all this, plus a view, Well, iake your 
love to Cancún 

Nonstop jets regularly descend onto a 
modern airstrip cut 
from the dense green 
jungle. A blast of hot. 
humid air greets you 
s you step off the 
plane. It is possible to 
be at O'Hare, LEK. or 


I . in the morn- 
ing and be lying 
on C; * tropic: 

shores by late after- 


noon. 

This resort explod- 
ed onto the tourist 
map in 1074, when 
some Mexican devel- 
opers put sun, beach 
and Amcrican tour- 
ism into a computer 
and it spit out n- 
cün. Back then, it was 
virtually uninhabit- 
ed; now, with a 
strip of some 100 ho- 
tels, it rs 10 close 
10 1,000,000 visitors a 
year. 

In Cancún, you loll 
under 80-degree 
tropical sun on white 
porous limestone 
sand that never seems 
to get too hot. That 
same clean limestone is under all the sur 
rounding jungle—no silt flows to the sea, 
making the waters around Cancún dea 
You can go sailing, boating, skiing, рага- 
g. snorkeling and w 
With the Nichupie and Bojorquez L 
goons on one side and the Caribbean Sea 
on the other, you can watch the sun 
ascend from the sea at dawn and scc it 


ways to make a run for the border 


DOING IT 


THE FIRST TIME 


Cancun: for the couple in those first giddy throes 


shimmer into the lagoons at dusk. 

The food in Cancún is excellent. Mexi 
coisa fishing culture and the restaurants 
compete to see how fast they get the fish 
from the ocean to vour table. Try the fish, 
lobster, shrimp and conch at 


neun Cit 
There are people who daim that Can- 

Beach, and that may be 
ni Beach set in the mid- 
dle of one of the most culturally rich 
spots in ай об Mexi Yucatan 
д. land of the М 
t Mayan history, take a bus 
tour about 60 miles down the relatively 


ILLUSTRATIONS BY NICK BACKES 


undeveloped cast 

coast through the 
dense hardwood jun- 

gles to the ruins of 
Tulum. Perched on a 
40-foot cliff overlook- 

ibbean is a shrine to the moon 
goddess Ix Chel. where 13th Century 
Mavans made their cocoa beans (money) 
off religious tourism. 
You can also hop a fi 

a replica of a pirate ship to Isla Mujeres. 
where a cab will take 
vou down the long. 
slende: 


ing the 


trimaran or 


There vou can rent 
snorkels and masks 
and enter the ж 
nto an offshore. na- 
tional park where 
tame blue. purple and 
orange fish take vou 
on a tour of the coral 
reef. 

Or take whats 
billed as the world's 
largest jet boat to 
Cozumel, a 28-mile- 
id off the Yu- 
n coast. There. 
lose the Cancun hus- 
Че the village of 
San Miguel, where 
Mexican fishermen 
work their nets rather 
than the tourists and 
laughing children 
practice their English 


trying to say hello. 
Cancun’ not cheap. 
You can get a package 
deal by scouring your 
Sunday per: bur 
food, air fare and ac- 
commodations come at prices that 
approach those in Hawaii. On the 
other hand, its closer. Plus, theres 
the Caribbean, the white sand. the 
ruins, Isla Mujeres, Cozumel. In 
short. a place thats delightfully, but 


unthreateningly. foreign. 1f romance 
doesnt take root in all of this, at least 
you can't blame the ambience. 


129 


130 


Its not your first 
wip, nor is it likely to 
be your last. You've 
overcome the initial 
jitters; you even use 
the same toothbrush 
on occasion. This year, you want to step 
outa little further, let your guard down, 
get closer. A lapse in room service wont 
time, but not secing something 


exotic and wonderful might, Try Ixtapa/ 
Zihuatanejo. 

According to Felix, one of the cabdriv- 
ers who'll give you a lift from the Ixtapa/ 
Zihuatanejo airport, 14 years ago, 
Zihuatanejo had hardware stores instead 
of boutiques, and nobody had ever heard 
of Ixtapa. Then the same developers who 
ad put Cancún together started build- 


barren beach just north of the town and 
christened it Ixtapa. To preserve the iso- 


g first-class hotels on the 24 miles of 


SPICING IT UP 


Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo: when that zest for 


variety lures the senses 


lation and the individual flavor of the 
towns, they left a six-mile gap between 
them. 

Ixtapa is luxury Its broad. sandy 
beaches. 105 sail- 
ing, te golf 
and catered whim, 
1 the offshore I: 
la Ixtapa, with 
protected. beaches 
facing inland and 
its tropical-bird 
sanctuary, [Us 
north of town 
along the many se- 
cluded beach coves 
waiting for you to 
give them a name. 

But do not—re- 
peat, do not—go 


10 Ixtapa unless 
you also spend 
some ume іп 


Zihuatanejo. Be- 
cause if Ixtapa is 
luxury then Zi- 
huatanejo oozes 
romance from i 
pores. Against 
the jungle-covered 
bluffs that tumble 
into this peaceful 
bay are a number 
of older, more inti- 
mate hotels, such 
as the Sotavento 
and the а del 
Sol, where by the 
second day, they 
know your name 
and by the third 


day, they know 
your drink. 
South of these 


hotels is the Playa 
La Ropa—a slen- 
der, quarter-moon- 
shaped beach 
backed by а few 
lent thatched-roof restaurants. In 
Zihuatanejo. you can stroll down cobble- 
stone streets past whitewashed shops 
framed іп flowering bougainvillaca. 
Mariachis play in most of the restaurants 
d Mexico is the one place where mari- 
achi music is meet and right. 

One of the town’s favorite drinks is the 
muppet. Ask the bartender at the Villa 
del Sol what it is and he'll reply, “Danger- 
ous.” Then hell tell you of the evening 
when a Hollywood film crew gathered 


round the hotel pool, 
drinking muppets, 
and how the director 
climbed into the cage 
with the hotels mas- 
cot cougar, claiming 
they were old friends. 

As the days pass in Zihuatanejo, they 
get slower and slower and, at the same 
time, your atiention span tends to get 
longer and longer. At night, c fans 
and sea breezes heal beleaguered gringo 
minds. These are the first signs that the 
vacation is building mental antibodies 
against your personal urban unrest. In 
the midst of all this, you may find that 
vou and she arent talking much, but 
communicating very well, just the same. 
Muy peligroso ("very dangerous"), say the 
Mexicans. More dangerous is that you'll 
start feeling right at home—to the point 
where you'll hear yourself saying you'd 
like to five there. 


RULES 
OF THE GAME 


1. PROTECTING YOUR MON- 
EY: Forget the stories about the ban- 
didos; you're safer at most Mexican 
resort communities than you'd be 
in New York or Los Angeles. Still, 
travelers are susceptible to theft. 
Carry a little cash, but split it be- 
tween your wallet and your lug- 
gage. Carry most of your money in 
traveler's checks and keep а list of 
check numbers in a separate place. 

2. RESERVATIONS: Immediately 
upon hitting town—in fact, before 
you leave the airport—make cer- 
tain your return reservations are in 
order. Carry plenty of documenta- 
tion for hotel and travel reserva- 
tions—they have a way of getting 
when they cross the Rio 
Grande. 

3. DRIVING AT NIGHT: Don't. 
There are too many potholes, too 
few lights, too few warning signs 
and too many саше ( ) 
and donkeys on the 


lost 


You've been inat- 
tenuve. You may have 
won the vice-presi- 
dency, but its cost to 
your relationship is an 
impeachable offense. 
It's time to go somewhere and restore the 
magic. Its ume to go to Los Cabos. 

The first glimpse of the sandy beaches 
at the end of the Baja California penin- 
may convince vou. Theyre broad. 


WE WANT TO BE ALONE 


Los Cabo: 


needs a break for seclusion 


: because every romance 


rounded by balloons and colorful paint- 
cd walls. Oi rch out old Cabo—as well 
as the best steak in town—at El Faro 
Viejo (The Old Light House). located in 
the middle of a trailer park. where vou 


A SPANISH PRIMER 


GREETINGS 
Buenos dias. 
Buenas tardes 
Buenas noches. 
Señor 
Señorita 
Mi amigo 
Mi amor 
Pendejo 

DIRECTIONS 
¿Dónde está 

la sala de baño? 
la farmacia? 
ті esposa? 
la pachanga? 
Quiero ir 
a la playa. 
ul disw. 
al aeropuerto. 
a la coma 
con tigo. 


Good day 

Good afternoon. 
Good night. 

Sir 

Miss 

My friend 

My love 

Asshole 


Where is 
the bathroom? 
the pharmacy? 
my wife? 
the party? 

1 want to go 
to the beach. 
10 the disco. 
to the airport. 
to bed 

with you, 


bright and expansive. No matter how 
many people are there, you can always 
find a corner retreat. Los Cabos is the 
apex of Baja. superprime A-plus 
desert, with enough marine air 
tossed up from the junction of 
the Pacific Ocean and the Sea of 
Cortes to keep the cactus moist. 
green and in bloom. 

They used 10 bill this place as 
Cabo San Lucas and San José del 
Cabo, the two sleepy villages at 
the cape (cabo) of the red-desert 
peninsula. It is where Heming- 
y went to catch marlin and 
hunt white doves. But then it was 
discovered. Hotels now line the 
21 miles between the villages. 
and they call the new pad 
Los Cabos. The weather is a con- 
stant 75-80 degrees, with 350 
sunny days a year. But the heat 
dry and calming, like a mild 
sauna. There, you can work the 
kinks out of your neck, the tan- 
gles ош of your love affair. 

For merriment, chase the 
tourist excitement at the Gig- 
gling Marlin, where you eat 
burgers under a high ceiling sur- 


TO THE SHOPKEEPER 
¿Quanto cuesta How much 
esto? is this? 
¿Yo le doy la ГИ give 
mitad? you half. 
TO THE POLICE 
¡Soy inocente! ^ Lam innocent! 
Pero le doy este — Butl will give 
regalo para you this gift 
sus hijos. for your kids. 
TO YOUR NEW FRIENDS 
Me encatan T love 
estos pequénos these small 
trajes de baño. bathing suits. 
tus tetas cnormes. your enormous 
tits, 
TO THE WAITER 
Otra vervesa. Another beer. 
Menos salsa Less hot 
picante. sauce. 
La cuenta. The check. 


can watch town officials drink brandy 
and make major noise over Cabo's future 
well past anyones sensible bedtime. 


San José del Cabo is 
а little quieter. less с: 
pensive and a b 
more authentic Mexi- 
co. For an excursion, 
rent a canoe and pad- 
dle up the lagoon by the Stouffer Pr 
dente Hotel to where the San José River 
joins the calmer waters and the herons 
and egrets hunt for their dinner 

Other pleasant diversions are nearby 
An hour north of Cabo San Lucas on the 

Pacific side. you'll enter Todos Santos, an 

agricultural town with one hotel. one 
restaurant and a beautiful old theater. 
The inhabitants trace their ancestry back 
ticular Dominican priest who, it’s 
said. took his fathering very literally: 

An hour north of San José del Cabo on 
the Sea of Cortés side. vou can visit the 
dusty. idyllic village of La Rivera, where 
tourism takes a back seat to fishing and 
the Mexicans get fat solely from the sea 
The marlin are great there, but youll get 
more for vour money if vou go after ма 
hoo. vellowtail or dorado (mahi mahi), 
alescing couple who 
went fishing the morning of their de- 
parture from Los Cabos and caught 14 
dorado in four hours. Dorado are rain- 
bow-colored. weigh ten to 40 pounds 

ach, jump in the air and fight like hell 
The couple had their fish filleted, put 
them in an ice chest. took them home and 
had a party. where thev shared their catch 
and their stories about their vacation. 

‘The best thing was, they didnt argue 
for two and a half weeks. 


toa 


We know of one com 


You've been togeth- 
er awhile: your rela- 
tionship is steady. You 
can even say “I love 
you" and not feel your 
stomach tie in a knot. 
You're seasoned travelers who seek out 
culture shock. You're ready for adven- 
ture—something strange, something 
otic, something different. You're ready 


WHERE THE 
WILD THINGS ARE 


Oaxaca: when a relationship wants that jolt of adventure 


gentas, oranges and 
yellows into magical 
arrangements for 
thousands of rs. 
Buy a couple of big 
baskets and fill them. 
Consider this: It is possible to sit atone — with stuff you'll never se 
of the sidewalk cafés around the central It stands to reason that У 
plaza and listen to the Oaxaca State Band from Oa You might think about 
play the US. Marine Corps hymn while buying a bottle and takin: Кто your 
for Oaxaca. vou eat chicken wi room at the Stouffer Presidente Hotel. 
“The rugged Sierra Madre mountains mole sauce, a C which was built from the refurbished ru- 
surround the star- ins of a 16th Century 
shaped valley and Dominican convent. 
16th Century Spat The walls are three 
city of Oaxaca (wah- feet thick: no one will 
HAH-kah). 115 Mes h ou party. 
co, but at 5000 feet. During the day, vou 
Its cool, breezy and can take the bus ride 
less humid. The first up to Monte Alban, 
thing that strikes you which is a collection 
as you enter the city is of powerful pyra- 
the cathedrals—close mids, tombs and stone 
to 160 of them, the ings set in an 
result of a colonial enormous field with a 
building boom by Do- manding view of 
minican friars who the Oaxaca Valley 
were irked because The Zapotecs began 
the Franciscans h: building this civ in 
got to Mexico City 500 вс. abandoning 
first. it in 700 хо Invading 
Although they dom- есе then took 
ınated the village Monte Alban. 
landscape, the Do- where they first 
minicans never quite stowed their mum- 
dominated the Indi- mies and later hid 
ans, who still seek r gold from the 
spiritual guidance in 


hallucinatory mush- the 

rooms and divine you may want to v 
their illnesses by gaz- the Benio Juarez 
ing at chicken en- marketplace and 
tral But it is this blending of baroque — least four kinds of chilies and that tastes. г through booths where ch 


architecture and Zapotec Indian culture 
that makes са so original. In all of have filled the town shops with 
North America, you are not likely to find ing carvings. weavings and pi 
any city stranger. more surreal, more among the ico. The 
otherworldly: Zapotecs 


and medicinal herbs are pil 
high. You'll notice the Ind 
strong. sweet coffee. 


like spicy chocolate. Zapotec Indians 


guage. ПА just 
istic morning in Oaxaca. 


another sui 


HOW NOT TO LOOK LIKE A GRINGO 


132 


‘Toa Mexican, a gringo wears shorts, tennis shoes and a 
cap. carries a camera. talks loud and is material 
Many of us forget that when we cross the border, we're in a 
different culture, Here's how to blend in. 

- DON'T WEAR SHORTS: They're OK on the beach or 
around the resort communities in the afternoon, but if you 
venture out beyond the resort limits (and you should), 
wear trousers. 

-DON'T STARE AT A MEXICAN MALES GIRL- 
FRIEND: Not if you value your huevos (balls). Mexican 
women flirt, but they don't mean it. Mexican males get 
pissed, and they do mean it. 

- ВЕ POLITE: Be extra polite. Mexicans are zealously 
cordial. greet strangers on the street. shake hands. hug 
and think gringos are cold. Learn the words gracias 


(thank you) and por favor (please) and use them liberally 

“SLOW DOWN: Latins consider punctuality a gringo 
quirk. Don't insist on it. Leave your watch in your room 
and get on mañana time. 

*SPEND PESOS: Dollars are acceptable, espec 
around the resorts, but when you carry a wallet of pesos, 
you are showing a willingness to integrate with their soci- 
ety, rather than force yours on them, 

*SPEAK SPANISH: Even if you сап say only a few 
words, use them. Doors open wide when you speak, even 
hal their language. Carry a dictionary. 

* DON'T CLAIM YOU'RE AN AMERICAN: This really 
pisses them off. Mexicans think they are Americans, you 
аге a North American (norteamericano). 


You're way past first 
flush but sull roman- 


tic. Youre thinking 
you'd like to take 
some friends along 


this year. You want to 
go on a Mexican traveling party. a 
want to know the best place to 
Puerto Vallarta is your ticket. 

In the movie Night of the Iguana, 
Richard Burton rides out of the jungle 
into adusty Mexican village. That village 
was Puerto Vallarta before Burton and 
Elizabeth Taylor decided to fall in love 
and build houses there. Today. the 
tourists arrive by jet instead of bus. And 
now they encoumer the beauty of the 
Pacific coast combined with the sumptu- 
ousness of luxury resort hotels and the 
charm of a lively town. The essential 
ingredients—jungle-covered mountains, 
sun, sand and ocean bay—are all still 


AVOIDING TURISTA 


As many as a third who cross the 
border get turista—the trots, or 
common diarrhea. Montezuma's re- 
venge generally lasts one to two 
davs, but it can be quite uncomfort- 
able. Its roots are found in mi- 
crobes in the tap water. 

To avoid it, don't drink tap water, 
don't even brush your teeth with it. 
Drink bottled water; brush your 
teeth with tequila, if you have to. 
Avoid ice cubes. including the ones 
crushed up in vour margarita. Or- 
der your drinks “sin hielo" —with- 
out ice. Skip uncooked vegetables 
or peeled fruits; they are often 
washed in tap water. Avoid salads 
and avoid eating from stands. 

You might ask your doctor to 
prescribe a prophylactic dose of 
antibiotics for your trip. Mexico 
aficionados claim that lime and yo- 
gurt eaten daily helps ward off the 
curse. 

Should all this fail, there's potent 
help at the pharmacy (farmacia), 
where, without prescription, you 
can get antibiotics or Lomotil—the 
latter. according to its devotees, can 
“turn Niagara Falls into cement." 
But there are potential side effects. 
Best to see a doctor. 


there: people just dont go to bed as carly. 
Puerto Vallarta now rocks until dawn 
but in a cobblestoned-street sort ol way. 

Around the enorm пастах 
are many line beaches where your party 
сап relax under el sol and watch the peli 
cans buzz the water. Puerto Vallarta sun 
seems particularly benevolent to those 
whose idea of a perfect vacation begi 
with a tan. You can take Ц-дау or 


DOING IT 


WITH FRIENDS 


Puerto Vallarta: the perfect place to share the fun 


to Yelapa, a secluded tropical village of 
palm trees and bleached sand. Or you 
can take a car or a taxi about seven mil 


adventuresome swim under wate 
and sun on huge stream: 

In the evening, take your tans 
los O'Brian’s for seafood and margarit 
On the walls are pictures of revolu 
ary firing squads. Later, drop by one of 
the local discos. Even if you think disco- 


n- 


ing is the last thing you'd ever want to do, 
do it anyway. Mexican discos are so camp 
they're hip, The Mexicans are so serious, 


the Americans so drunk irs like Dynasty 
dirccted by Fellini. There are several dis- 
in town: Capriccio. Christine. the 
City Dump. Each vacation crowd decides 
which one is currently in favor. 

Mauer of fact, one of the real pleasures 
of visiting Puerto Vallarta with a group 


Jump into the ocean with a grea 


of friends is that vou 
cam totally di 
vour at-home rot 
Puerto Vallarta ва 
town that doesnt get 
much sleep. Even if 
you don't party much at home. youll tind 
yourself—fueled by the enthusiasms 
ceeding what you 
thought vour dancing shoes were capable 
of. You mav close down a disco at dawn 
and collectively decide that it is impera- 
uve for your communal well-be to 
n of 
vour clothes on. You may trv to get some 
sleep back at the hotel. but whatever is 
happening out on the street lures vou in- 
to another day of personal bests in the 
Puerto Vallarta Invitational. Iron Man 
Wildlife competition, Soon you'll con- 
vince yourself that vou dont need еер 
you can get that at home. But vou might 
never have convinced. yourself or your 
friends that vou were capable of such be- 
havior if vou hadn't seen it for vourselves 
k worked for Tavlor and Burton. 


of your 


peers— 


PLAYBOY 


134 


History of Jazz and ROCK unus om page 101 


“The Africans in New Orleans developed music in 


а continuum that stretched back to the Congo.” 


B 


offenses against their masters, also ex- 
plicitly guaranteed them human rights 
not granted elsewhere in the South. 

The urban environment and the na- 
ture of the work performed by slaves т 
New Orleans also accorded them consid- 
erable freedom. Slaves served the ship- 
ping industry, merchants and traders, 
politicians and professionals, households 
and businesses, as well as plantation own- 
ers. As early as the 1720s. free blacks in 
New Orleans had become tradesmen and 
merchants, many owning slaves them- 
selves. Education and training in the 
trades, arts and professions. as well as the 
possibility of manumission, were within 
the reach of many black New Orleanians, 
certainly to a far greater extent than ar 
where else in the antebellum South. 

Religion was at the root of the pro- 
found differences between Louisiana 
and the rest of the South. Unlike the 
Southern Protestants, who considered 
their slaves subhuman primitives. the 
Louisiana Catholic Church seriously re- 
garded the Africans as souls to be saved 
and made every effort to convert them 
without demanding in return the obliter- 
ation of their African heritage. As а re- 
sult, the Africans in New Orleans found 
that they could maintain their ancestral 
system of beliefs by subverting Catholi- 
cism to their own religious purposes. 
They discovered acceptable parallels be- 
tween their gods and the many saints of 
the Catholics, their own commitment-to 
ritual and the formal obsessions of the 
French and the Spanish. Worship of 
Ogun, Elegba and the myriad West Afri- 
can deities continued under the guise of 
entreaties to the Catholic saints who most 
resembled their African counterparts: 
candles continued to be lit, incense 
burned, icons cherished and rituals per- 
formed according to the ancient precepts 
on the holy days that coincided with 
those on the Roman Catholic calendar. 

Importantly, many blacks continued to 
worship in the traditional ways, both pri- 
vately and publicly, gathering regularly 
outside the ramparts of the old city (the 
area now known as the French Quarter) 
in a large swampy tract called Congo 
Plains (later Back of Town and now the 
old Sixth Ward) to socialize and celebrate 
their gods. Here the slaves assembled 
along Old World tribal lines. They 
searched for long-lost relatives and ex- 
changed personal news and cultural in- 
formation. 

On the Congo Plains, hundreds of 
slaves formed a series of concentric cir- 


cles around ceremonial percussionists 
and conducted African religious rites 
centered on ecstatic drumming, dancing 
and spirit possession that lasted for hours 
ata ume. These mass ceremonies, unlike 
the heavily censored religious services of 
their counterparts on the rural Protes- 
tant plantations, took place without any 
mandate to mask or suppress the ances- 
tral cultural forms. Free of interference 
by their Catholic masters, the African 
culture-bearers in New Orleans contin- 
ued to develop their music in accordance 
with an artistic continuum that stretched 
directly back to the Congo. 

The French and then the Spanish 
rulers of New Orleans had no apparent 
interest in curt: the extracurricular 
activities of their slave population, as 
long as these practices posed no threat to 
the basic security of the established sys- 
tem. But when the Americans took 
charge of New Orleans in 1805, the city 
council quickly moved to limit the gath- 
erings on the Congo Plaims to Sunday 
afternoons and banned any other form 
of slave gatherings. By the 1820s. these 
activities were confined to a smaller area 
at Rampart and Orleans called Congo 
Square, where the police could keep a 
closer eve on things. Still, these unadul- 
terated African-based cultural activities 
continued with litle interruption until 
the enactment of the segregation laws 
after 1877, which, among other things, 
banned blacks from gathering in the citv 
parks and drove the remaining African- 
isms underground. 

Congo Plains and Congo Square kept 
the music of Africa alive in New Orleans 
for 150 years. lt remained for the Civil 
War, emancipation and, ironically, more 
n Crow laws to produce the extraordi- 
nary circumstances that molded that 
African music into a new sound that ulti- 
mately was called jazz. 

. 

After emancipation, the former slaves 
were finally free to travel. Many moved 
from plantauon country imo Southern 
cities. Others remained where they were, 
now working the land as sharecroppers 
and tenant farmers bound to their for- 
mer owners through a new form of eco- 
nomic servitude. 

Especially in the rural South, the Ne- 
gro church had been a sanctuary during 
slavery. With freedom, the ex-slaves were 
delivered, in a sense, to the land of 
promise that had loomed so large in the 
lyrics of their spirituals. Now the secular 
world demanded their attention. Now 


came the potential for music outside the 
carefully circumscribed world of the 
church. 

The new secular music of the ex-slaves 
emerged as the uniquely African-Ameri- 
can construct we know as the blues, 
termed “the Devil's music” by the legions 
of God-fearing black Protestants who re- 
sented its propensity to lead their people 
away from the church. Formally inspired 
by the spiritual, the blues also drew 
breath from work songs. But now it could 
speak eloquently of other earthly con- 
cerns, from the struggle to find and keep 
a home ora lover to the adventures expe- 
rienced along the road in the bluesman's 
eternal quest to avoid regular employ- 
ment 

The blues as a form of personal ex- 
pression perfectly suited the new social 
circumstances of the African American. 
Through the temporal subject matter of 
its lyrics, the blues helped the ex-slaves 
explore their new freedom. While its 
lyrics were growing in sophistication, зо 
were its musical arrangements, thanks to 
the War armies, whose military 
marching units had left their beat-up 
horns and woodwinds behind in pawn- 
shops throughout the South. That sud- 
den treasure of abandoned musical 
Instruments put trumpets and trom- 
bones, clarinets and tubas, snare drums, 
bass drums and cymbals into the hands 
of Alrican Americans for the first шие. 

Musical training was rare in the rural 
areas, but after emancipation, New Or- 
leans large population of "free persons 
of color'—part French Negroes (the off- 
spring of French gentlemen and Ameri- 
can women of color under that peculiar 
local institution called placage) and high- 
placed slaves who served the French 
households and businesses of the Vieux 
Carré—produced a generation of well- 
schooled, technically expert musicians 
who contributed to the evolving musical 
mix that would become jazz. Long ex- 
empt from the problems and conditions 
of their less fortunately placed fellow 
African Americans, those “Creoles of 
color” had developed refined musical 
skills through European-style training 
nd direct exposure to the standard mu- 
sical literature. They snapped up the 
abandoned band instruments, mastered 
th ntricacies and began to form litle 
marching units and society bands of 
their own. By the early 1880s, there exist- 
ed, at the very least, 12 such bands in 
New Orleans. 

The sound of jazz started to take shape 
within the black New Orleans marching 
bands as the players injected syncopation 
and melodic variation into the clipped, 
militaristic charts popular with brass 
bands throughout America. Those same 
musicians also played at picnics, dance 

(continued on page 156) 


“Well, enough абош me, Frank 5 
£ , Frank; ЖАТ 
k; how's your troublesome backswin 
уште coming along?" 
£ 8: 


135 


idaho beauty 

reneé tenison 

wins playboy's 
top honors 


RENEE TENISON thought she was 
dreaming. This place certainly 
wasn't Melba, the tiny Idaho town 
where shed grown up. lt wasnt 
Boise, where she had worked in a 
computer factory Rubbing sleep 
from her eyes. sitting up in a cur- 
tained bed in an elegant hotel 
room, she wondered where on 
earth she was. “Then it dawned on 
me,” she says, shaking her head, 
astonished by the events of the past 
few months. “I thought, I'm in Par 
is. Playboy is taking pictures of the 
Playmate of the Year, and it's me!" 

At 21, Reneé is the proud owner 
of a sleek new Eagle Talon TSi, 
which will replace the old Mustang 
she used to drive around town. She 
is $100,000 richer—a sum that 
represents more than five ycars 
worth of her work at the factory 
And much more important to Re- 
neé than the goodies that come 
with her new tide are two firsts: 
She's proud to be cur first Play- 
mate (text concluded on page 174) 


PHOTOGRAPHY BY FRANCIS GIACOBETTI 


he very first time 1 saw Playboy,” says Reneé, "| thought, If I ever had а chance like that, I'd do it in a heartbeat.” 
Now her pulse is quickened by an all-wheel-drive Eogle Talan TSi (below) with о check for $100,000 in its glave compartment. 
The money ond the car, fob as they ore, impress Reneé less than the symbolic weight of her new role. “I'm a mix, a mulatto— 
different,” she says. “A first as Playmate af the Year. I's exciting, but there's responsibility, too. When you're different, yau can't 
afford to make mistakes. | wont to represent Playboy as well as I con. I'm not Vanessa Willioms; there are na skeletons 
in my claset.” We're not worried. Playboy admires Reneés sense af duty, but we chose her for her beauty. There's no mistaking that. 


osing for Playboy “isn't so 
much about sex. It’s about 
freedom,” Reneé says. 
“You can't try to be sexy. 
You have to feel if. You 
just have to be yourself. 
If you are comfortable 
with your own sexuality, it 
shows. And that's sexy.” 


РК ЖЕ TEY 


146 


SOLDIER 


(continued from page SO) 


“If he used the gun, he'd be too close to miss. It 
wasn't rocket science, for God’ sake.” 


aim at other things—at a tree, 
at a flower, at a white rock the size of a 
clenched fist. But he couldn't bring him- 
self to fire the gun again, to break the 
stillness with another gunshot. What was 
the point, anyway? И he used the gu 
he'd be too close to miss. You got in close, 
you pointed, you fired. It wasnt rocket 
science, for God's е. It wasnt neuro- 
surgery Anyone could do it 

He replaced the spent cartridge and 
put the loaded gun in the car' glove com- 
partment. He spilled the rest of the shells 
into his hand and walked a few yards 
from the road's edge, then hurled them 
with a sweeping sidearm motion. He gave 
the box a toss and got back into the car. 

‘Traveling light, he thought. 


Back in town, he drove past Quik Print 
to make sure it was still open. Then, fol- 


he found his way to 1411 Cowslip Lane, a 
Dutch-colonial house on the north edge 
of town. The lawn was neatly trimmed 
and fiercely green, and there was a bed 
of rosebushes on cither side of the path 
leading from the sidewalk to the front 
dovr. 

One of the leaflets at the motel told 
how roses were a local specialty. But the 
town had been named not for the flower 
but for Aaron Rose, a local setiler, 

He wondered if Engleman knew that. 

He cirded the block, parked two doors 
away on the other side of the street from 
the Engleman residence. VANDERMEER. ED. 
warp, the white-pages listing had read. lt 
struck Keller as ап unusual alias. He 
wonder ad picked it out 
1 selected it for 
obably the latter, he decided. 
"Here's your new name,” they would tell 
you, “and here's where you're going to 
live and who you're going to be.” There 
was an arbitrariness about it that some- 
how appealed to Keller, as И they re- 
lieved you of the burden of decision 
Here's your new name, and here's you 


new driver's license with your new name 


already on it. You like sc 
in your new life, and yo 
bee stings, and your favorite color is blue. 

Betty Engleman was now Betty Van- 
dermeer. Keller wondered why her first 
name hadn't changed. Didn't they trust 
Engleman to get it right? Did they figure 
him for a bumbler, apt to blurt out “Bet- 
ty” at an inopportune moment? Or was it 
sheer coincidence or sloppiness on their 


pa 


loped potatoes 


Around 
home tra 


230, the Englemans came 
n work. They rode іп а Honda 


Civic hatchback with local plates. The 
had evidently stopped to shop for gro- 
ceres on the way home. Engleman 
parked in the driveway while his wife got 
a bag of groceries from the back. Then 
he put the car in the garage and followed 
her into the house. 

Keller watched lights go on inside the 
house. He stayed where he was. It was 
starting to get dark by the time he drove 
back to the Douglas Inn. 

. 

On HBO, Keller watched а movie 
ош а gang of criminals who have come 
to a town in Texas to rob the bank. One 
of the criminals is a woman, married to 
one of the other gang members and hav- 
ing an affair with another. Keller thought 
that was a pretty good recipe for disas- 
ter. There was a prolonged shoot-out at 
the end, with everybody dying іп slow 
motion. 

When the movie ended, he y 
to switch off the set. His eye was caught 
by the stack of fliers Engleman had run 
off for him. LOST DOG. PAKT GER SHEPHERD 
ANSWERS TO SOLDIER, CALA. 259-1901. REWARD. 

Excellent watchdog, he thought. Good 
with children. 


t over 


. 

He didn't get up until almost noon. He 
went to the Mexican place and ordered 
huevos rancheros and put a lot of hot 
sauce on them. 

He watched the waitress’ hands as she 
served the food and again when she took. 
his empty plate away. Light glinted off 
the little diamond. Maybe she and her 
m Cowslip 
Lane, he thought. Not right away, of 
course; they'd have to start out in the du 
plex, but that's what they could aspire to. 
A Dutch colonial with that odd kind of 
pitched roof. What did they call 
way? Was that a mansard roof or did that 
word describe something else? Was it a 
gambrel, maybe? 

He thought he ought to le 


husband would wind up 


rn the 


saw the houses 
hem properly 

aght a paper on his way into 
. and now he turned to the ch 
ds and read through the r 
estate Houses seemed very 
inexpens tually buy a 
low-priced home here for twice what he 
wo s work. 
safe-deposit box по one 
knew about rented under a name hed 
never used for another purpose, and in 
it, he had enough cash to buy a nice home 


here for cash. Ass 


ming you could still 
do that. People were funny about cash 
these days, leery of letting themselves be 
used to launder drug money. 

Anyway, what difference did it make? 
He wasn't going to live here. The waitress 
could live here. in a nice little house with 
rds and gambrels. 


“Why, hello,” he s 
luck finding Soldier?" 
He remembered the 
ed 
“As a matter of fact,’ 
came back on his o» 
the reward.” 

Betty Engleman laughed. 

You see how fast your fliers worked,” 
he went on. “They brought the dog back 
before I got the chance (о post th 
get some use out of them e у 
though. Old Soldiers got itchy feet; he'll 
take off again one ol these days. 
а so he keeps coming back,” she 


'e you had any 


ame, Keller no- 


he said, “the dog 
I guess he wanted 


on I stopped by" Keller said, 
“Fm new in town, as you might have 
gathered, and Гус gota business venture 
Um getting ready to to gear. Im 
going to need a printer, and 1 thought 
ybe we could sit down and talk. You 


. 
They walked down to the corner, 
Keller g about what a nice after- 
noon it was, Engleman saying little be- 
yond agreeing with At the corner 
Keller said, “Well, Burt, where should we 
go for coffee?” 
Engleman just froze. Then he said, “I 
knew. 
“I know you did; 1 could tell the 
ше I walked in there. How? 
he phone number on the fl 
tried it last night. They never heard of 
Mr. Gordon.” 
So you knew 
you could have m 
number 
Englen head. “I wasn't go- 
ing on memory I ran xtra flier and 
aled the number right off it. No Mr. 
Gordon and no lost dog. Anyway, I think 
I knew before then. E think I knew the 
minute you walked in the door” 
v's get that coffee,” Keller said. 
They went into a place called the Rain- 
bow Diner and had coffee at a table on 
the side. gleman added artificial 
sweetener to his and stirred it long 
enough to dissolve marble chips. He had 
been an accountant back Fast, working 
for the man Kelle led in White 
Plains. When the Feds were trying to 
(contmued on page 162) 


mi 


ast night. Of course, 
de a mistake on the 


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PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO 


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This 18-kt-gold wotch de- 
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This Iceman cometh in 
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The original mode! of this 
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WILLY 


K. now, real quick: What popular 

American sport introduced its first 
black competitor 43 years after Jackie 
Robinson entered major-league baseball? If 
you said Indy-car racing, you qualify for an 
official Willy Т. Ribbs Flying Tiger fan club 
T-shirt. Ribbs, who started racing as an 
amateur in Europe in 1977, has become a 
minor legend in racing circles since break: 
ing into professional racing in America in 
1981. The San Jose native has notched 17 
victories in the Sports Car Club of Ameri- 
сак Trans-Am series and seven victories for 
Dan Gurneys wam in the International 
Motor Sports Associations (IMSA) Camel 
GTO series; he was IMSA Driver of the 
Year in 1987 and 1988. Despite that im- 
pressive record, Ribbs never got the break 
every driver lives for—the invitation to 
race Jor an Indy-car team. That is, not until 
last November, when Bill Cosby joined the 
Raynor Motorsports Racing Tram, mw- 
named Ше Raynor/Cosby Racing Тат, 
and committed himself to raising approxi- 
mately $5,000,000 needed to put Ribbs on 
the CARTIIndy circuit іп а computerized 
Lola Judd. Cosby said he first took an inter 
est in the charismatic Ribbs when he saw 
him do his patented “victory shuffle” atop 
his car following a Trans-Am race. As for 
Ribbs, hes unflustered by being the Jackie 
Robinson of vace-car drivers. As Contribut- 
ing Editor Walter Lowe, Jr, who inter- 
viewed Ribbs at his home, says, “Willy 


Ribbs exudes cha- 
risma and confi- 
the fastest ГЕТЕ 
Muhammad Ali but 
black on without the clown- 
four wheels 
runs down 
aid ing to be one of the 
his critics, greatest of all lime 
but merely how long 
are you conside: 
an old rooki 
- Indy-car racing? 
thrills of 
the braking 
Contest he first 
dy? Thiri 
And he won. Physi- 


вар And, lila Де 
hitches up it will take. 

sanos: Are you kid- 
| cally, I'm the best 


young Ali, you have 
with bill ] 

ding? Do 
PHOTOGRAPHY BY TOM ZIMBEROFT 


you 


a sense that ИЗ nol a 
matter of if hes go- 
coshy and age of thi 
explains the 
know how old 
n Hill was when 


2 0 


| е 
athlete in the sport. And I'm not brag- 
ging. Just ask my peers. 


2 


rLavuoy: What do vou do differently 
from other drivers to stay in shape? 

ruses: No other driver trains like a boxer. 
Eve trained at Garden City Boxing Club 
[in San Jose] for the past six years. Early 
in my career, Muha 
me that boxing was the best ing for 
а race driver. Fighters are the best ath- 
letes in the world. No other sport comes 
close in terms of the strength, speed and 
es to be a champion. H's 
sh out punches and not run out 
of gas if you're not getting hit. But the 
to take punches. The 
race car are tremendous. 


g forces in 
When a driver goes around a corner а 


Indy. his cornering speed is between two 
hundred ten and two hundred eighteen 
miles per hour, and right in the middle of 
that turn, the g force on your neck can be 
about five. That's a phenomenal amount 
of lateral force on your body for three 
hours. Tò prepare for that, a lot of drivers 
іп Nautilus rooms. I do Nautilus 
work, but I also give myself an extra edge 
by training in the boxing gym 


3. 


eraveov: When a baseball player or a 
football player starts to get too old to pi 
form his best, they say he has "lost a 
n equivalent of losing a 


step in racing? 
кін: Yeah, but it’s a lot later in auto rac- 


ing. Normally, it staris to happe 
the age of fifty. For instance, I respect 
Mario Andretti more than any other 
driver in the world, because he's forty- 
eight or forty-nine years old and he’s just 
as fast now as he was when he was (wenty- 
eight. He's a tiger. When he walks into a 
room, if you didn't know who he was, 
you'd know he was somebody. But thc 
main rcason drivers start to lose some- 
thing when they reach their fifties is pri 
marily a matter of eyesight and, to some 
extent, reflexes. Eyesight is crucial, par- 
ticularly depth perception when you're 
going into turns. But genetics also play 
an important role, Some guys are born 
th eyesight and reflexes that hold up 
longer. But I think that’s true of any sport. 


4. 


eraysov: What makes a young African- 
American boy want to grow up lo be a 
professional race-car driver? Can you 
point to specific events or people respon- 


R 


$ T N 


ble for putting you on the fast track? 
ваввз: My grandfather went from Louisi- 
ana to California in 1921, and at the time 
he left Louisiana, his father, my great- 
grandfather Felix, was the wealthiest 
black man in the state. He had more than 
three thousand acres of farmland that he 
leased to sharecroppers. So our family 
was, from the turn of the century, a very 
business-minded people. 

When my grandfather got to Califor- 
nia, he went into the plumbing business 
in Santa Clara County, and I don't have to 
tell you how hard it was back then for a 
black man to get a license to do business. 
He did very well and eventually bought a 
lot of real estate. He started building 
housing complexes and retired at fi 

My father and my uncle took over the 
plumbing and real-estate businesses 
fre ndfather when they were 
mg, and my father had 
enough money to pursue his hobby, 
which was sports-car racing at the ama- 
teur level. He was already racing when 
I was born. 

My grandfather has a three-hundred. 
acre ranch in the Sacramento Valley, and 
when I was twelve, my parents sent me 
eto live with him and learn some dis. 
ne, because I'd already learned how 
to drive and was going wild, driving on 
the streets of San Jose. At my grandfa- 
ther's ranch, I had room to drive without 
getting imo trouble. But more important 
was my grandfather's work ethic. He 
didn't stand for any fooling around. 
When I first got there, he gave me a 
whipping every day. He just didn't stand 
for any nonsense. He shaped me more 
than anyone. He made me realize that to 
be the best at anything, you have to work 


of my crit- 
ics; and because of the way I was raised, I 
isnt going to settle for anything less 
than what the top drivers got. 


5. 


PLAYBOY: Speaking of your critics, you 
had a reputation for being very outspo- 
ken earlier in your career. Yet, since Bill 
Cosby has become one of your major 
backers, you seem to have become a 
Willy Т. Ribbs. Have you 
ableized? 


thought I was being treated differently 
from other drivers, I was going to talk 
about it and still will. And then you have 


PLAYBOY 


154 


to realize that there are certain people out 
there in the racing community who aren't 
ever going to be Willy T. fans, even ГІ nev- 
er say another word. 


6. 


PLAYBOY: Well, one incident that may have 
earned you the reputation of having a 
quick temper was when you slugged driver 
Scott Pruitt after he bumped you during a 
race in Portland, Oregon, іп 1987. Did һе 
deserve it? 
rimas: That's an example of what Um talk- 
ing about when I say I've been treated dif- 
ferently from other drivers. ГІ explain 
what happened and let your readers de- 
cide for themselves 
Ме were racing for the lead and a quar- 
ter of the way through the race, we were 
lapping a slower car at the same time. As 
we raced to the corner, 1 took the other car 
оп the inside, Pruitt took him on the ош- 
side. I made the lap, but Pruitt's move 
didnt work. He got bumped by the other 
car and knocked off the track into the dirt 
He had to make two pit stops to repair the 
damage, which put him two laps behind 
me. I held on to the lead, and toward the 
last part of the race—when there was no 
way he could have caught me—1 made a 
routine pit stop for gas and tires and just 
happened to come out of the pit right in 
front of him. He stayed on my tail and 
then, a few laps later, һе cut a corner, ran 
into the right rear of my car, spun me 
around and damaged my car, kno 


out of any chance to win the race. 

1 finished second, and after the race was 
over, I went to the officials. I expected 
them to fine him for unnecessary rough 
driving, just as they had fined me in the 
past. And none of my infractions were as 
bad as hi nce the only times I was fined I 
was racing for the lead and he wasnt. But 
IMSA turned a blind eye to his vengeful 
act and I was really steamed. 

So after the race, I put on my clothes, 
packed up and left and I happened to see 
Pruitt in the parking lot driving out with a 
friend. He was sitting in the passenger se: 
with the window down. I went over to his 
car, reached in and gave him a little palm- 
reading lesson upside his head. Then he 
did what any crybaby would do, which was 
go to the officials. 1 knew that the majority 
of officials were not fans of mine, and 
Pruit’s complaint gave them an excuse 
do what they wanted to do any which 
was suspend me ionth. The press ate 
it up like hot ba 


PLAYBOY! It has ianapolis 500 
longer to integrate than it took major- 
league baseball, and when Cosby an- 
nounced that he was backing vou, you 
were quoted as saying, “There were two 
people who could make this happen: God 
and Bill Cosby.” Cosby, in his ever-diplo- 
matic way, has said that he sees unfairness 
when it comes to the racing world’s accept 
ance of Willy T. bs. When you press 


down the pedal at Indy, will you be trying 
to prove a point? 
Rises: I try to win every race, and ГП be 
doing just that at Indy. No matter what the 
obstacles are, the whole point is to win. 
Raynor/Cosby and 1 and the mechanics 
nd the engineers are all going for one 
thing: a winning team—not just at Indy 
but over the whole CART [Championship 
Auto Racing Team] season and for seasons 
to come. Anybody who asks me what my 
philosophy on race is, I tell him: Success 
comes in one color—green. If you wi 
speaks for itself. 

All сап say about unfairness is that at 
every level I've raced, I've been successful. 
Гус won record numbers of races, driver- 
of-the-vear awards, and so on. But to com- 
pete in Indy-car championship races, you 
have to be picked by a CART/Indy-car 
team. If Roger Penske calls and asks you to 
drive for him, or if Carl Haas gives you a 
call, then you go run Indy cars. Bill simply 
felt that I hadn't gotten the phone call my 
record deserved. There were other drivers 
whose records were no better than mine, 
perhaps not as good, who were getting the 
opportunity to go to Indy, and I wasn't 


8. 


PLAYBOY: How much of being a successful 
driver is guts and speed and how much is 
public relations and bus 
Rises: You can leave guts out. Guts have 
nothing t do with driving at high speed. 
Intelligence and desire аге what's impor- 
tant, The only time guts come into driving 
fast is when you don't know what you're do- 
ing. But you do have to be one hundred 
percent public-relations expert and one 
hundred percent businessman. 

n't that way twenty, thirty years 
ago. Back then, rich team owners just 
ivers and paid their bills. But now 
racing is big corporate sponsorship, big 
television. You have to know how to make a 
deal, you have to know how to represent 
your sponsors well, you have to know how 
to make speeches, meet the press, make ap- 
pearances and deal with being on TV. Irs 
more than just being a hell of a driver. 


9. 


толун: Your Dan Gurney All-America 
racer with the Toyota engine has won you a 
lot of races over the past two and a half 
years. Do you have апу sentimental attach- 
ment to that car? 

запис: Not at all. Some drivers have attach- 
ments to their cars, particularly the guys 
who are into the mechanical side of racing. 
But Em into the art of driving. When а 
race is over, Г get on top of the car, do my 
victory shuffle and leave footprints on the 
roof, then go to the victory podium. 1 don't 
turn around to look lovingly at the car or 
anything like that. After all, it’s just a me- 
chanical object that can give you big joy 
but can give you big letdowns, too. 1 would 


iness sense? 


venture that more drivers call their car a 
bitch than praise it 


10. 
mavaow: Dan Gurney, a racing legend in 
his own right, has been your un! 


5 the most i 

ned from him? 
thing I learned 

of 


backer for five years. WI 
portant lesson you've lez 

кавн: The most import 
from Dan was team spirit and a sense 
trust, On the teams Ud raced with belor 
Dan’, the trust factor was very low. La 
for instance, when ГА think up a differen 


chassis combination to make my car a little 
bit quicker, I'd share that information with 
other guys on my team. But when they'd 


see the 


come up with an ide: 
bluepr The ide 
arce to me. But Dan's attitude м 
all had to share info 
other, no exceptions. He wanted e: 
of us to win as badly as we wanted to win, 
but he also wanted each guy to have the 
same advantages as the other guy, That 

ing on sheer skill. 
Eventually, Dan and I became tight off the 
track. Part of what I loved about him w 
that he was a pure racer. A pure racer isn't 
necessarily a guy who wins a lot of races or 
the fastest ever. A real racer is a guy who 
will spend his last nickel and his last ounce 
of energy to win. Thats Dan Gurney. 


11. 


PLaynoy: Whats a drivers worst nigh 
mare—a crash or a fire? 

kanns: If you run straight into something а 
over a hundred and fifty miles per hou 
that’s real bad. Now, if you glance offa wall, 
do a spin or slam back into a wall at that 
speed, or even roll the car, that's normally 
not too bad. 115 bad but not too bad. But 
the sudden stop of going head on into 
something, that's definitely not good. As 
far as fire, the salety equipment we have 
now—the suits we wear and the strength 


of team became 


of the capsule of the race car itself—pre- 
vents serious injury Thats ome of the 
biggest improvements 

past decade. Back in the 


fire wa 


the most d us problem, be- 
cause a driver could survive a crash but get 


trapped. and be killed. 


12. 


rtavnov: Apart from dangers on the track, 
arent there dangers off the track, such a 
the lifestyle that caused the emerging star 
Tim Richmond to be snuffed out 
? When he died last year, the сх- 
ds was that he 
iscuous life. ls 
that lifestyle common among racer 
kisss: Auto racing is а very fast-paced 
business, just like the music industry. I've 
seen it all my life, even as a kid. ИЗ glam- 
and in any glamourous professi 
a lot of beautiful women around. 


There is plenty of action on and off the 
track, you know? A lot of sex. And the пи 
ics and the engineers are just as big 
stars to the women who know the sport as 
the drivers are. After a race, they go back 
to their hotels and put their noses to a to- 
ally different grindstone. 


13. 


п. лувоу: Give usa quick scope on the wom- 
en who hang around the pit. Can they 
change a tire? When they look under the 
hood. do they see order or chaos? 

xmas; Women who are interested in 
racing are almost always interested 
mechanical side of the sport. They 
tainly change their own tires, and when 
they look under the hood, they know м 
they're looking at. That type of woman is a 
racer, whether she drives a race car ог not. 


14. 


лувоу: What are three things about driv- 
ng that you guys know and we dont? 

kiss: Well, I can think of four things: car 
control; the art of driving in the rain at 
high speed; drafting, or high-speed slip- 
streaming; and how to win a braking con- 
test. The last is when youre going down 
the street and you're racing somebody to a 
corner. Eventually, both of you are going to 
to make it 


have to put on the brake: 
around the corner. A braking contest de- 
termines who can go into the corner deep- 
est and brake the latest without crashing. 


Your depth perception has to be para 
mount and your foot speed has to be lik 
Sugar Ray Leonard's. 

15. 


pLavboy: What's the dumbest thing we do 
behind the wheel that you don't? 


kiss: Rubbernecking is the dumbest 
thing that lay people do and pro d 
don't. If ve driver has crashed and the 
cars оп the side of the road, we do not look 
at the accident. We're not trying to see if 
nybody's hurt. We may go by the scene of 
n accident at well over a hundred miles 
per hour, so we look where were going. 


16. 


тілуот: Do you feel comfortable riding in 
the passenger seat? 
rises: 1 don't have a problem riding in the 
passenger seat with anybody until he starts 
to go above what he's capable of handling. 
People who try to show off for me make me 
nervous. My wife is a good driver, so 1 feel 
comfortable with her, My dad drives 
fast, but he knows what he's doing, so it 
doesn't bother me. But if somebody looks 
like hes taking my life in his hands, ПІ 
definitely speak up. 


17. 


ve 


the Ribbs tips for 


avaor: Can you give u 
buying a used car? And what information 
is gained when we kick the tires of a car we 
intend to buy? 

ваних: Its really simple. For my dollar, the 
Mercedes is the best car in the world, new 
or used. The car is very strong structurally, 
its got good power, good handling, and 
those three long with its phe- 
nomenal reliabili а tremendous. 
alue for the money And 1 dont drive for 
Mercedes, so this is just my honest opinion. 
1 dont know why anybody would kick the 
tires of a car, unless he wanted to break his 
toe. More useful is to test-drive it and let go 
of the steering wheel for a second to see if 


“No halfway measures will work. In the end, Bush will 
have to appoint an anticholesterol czar.” 


155 


PLAYBOY 


156 


the car veers to the left or the right, which 
tells you that something's wrong. 


18. 


тлувок: One of the most memorable lines 
from the film Apocalypse Now is “I love the 
smell of napalm in the morning.” Is there 
ап equivalent smell at the race track that 
makes you tingle? 

инв: Well, there isn't a smell, but there is a 
sound, When you hear the explosions of 
the turbochargers when the drivers shift, 
its absolutely the greatest sound in the 
world. And it echoes across the track and 
kind of makes your blood pound, Some 
cities are trying to introduce ordinances to 
reduce the decibels at the race tracks, but 
when auto racing becomes so intimidated 
that it starts putting mufflers on race cars, 
из going to lose a lot of its excitement. 


19. 


pLaveov: Have you ever been, if you'll par- 
don the expression, ribbed about your 
name? And aren't you happy that your par- 
ents didn't name you Bobby Q.? 

rips: I've never given it any thought. A lot 
of people have thought that my real name 
was something I made up. My family’s 
name was Beck. One of the reasons my 
grandfather had to go to California was 
that his older brother Ben had a business 
dispute with а white man over а large 
amount of timber the man was buying 
from my great-grandfather. As a result, 
my grandunele beat the man up. And back 


ШЕ ЛЕ, 


u didn't do that. So they 
had по leave Louisiana in a hurry or be 
lynched. America was a socially 
country at that time, and it was 
ceivable that some fools from Louisiana 
would go all the way to Ca lato get re- 
venge on my family So when they moved 
to the West Coast, they changed their 
name from Beck to Ribbs. 1 remember 
hearing my granddad always talking about 
the Becks, how tough they were. I remem- 
ber finally asking my dad when I was about 
thirteen, “Dad, who are the Becks?” And 
he answered, “The Becks are you.” 


20. 


PLAYBOY: Columbia Pictures has bought е 
rights to your life story. If you had control 
over the film, whom would you pick to play 
yourself, who would play your love inter- 
ests and how would it end? 

жана: Denzel Washington would play me, 
because my life has been a dramatic saga, 
and he's a phenomenal dramatic actor. As 
for my love interests, I'd like one of them 
to be Whitney Houston or maybe Paula 
Abdul. | hate the traditional ending where 
a guy wins the big race, with the checkered 
flag waving, and he rides into the sunset 
with a trophy in his hand. I'd like my end- 
ing to leave the audience hanging, wanting 
more. I'd like the movie to end on a begi 
ig—me climbing down into a саг, 
slow motion, getting buckled in. 


in the Twenties, y 


“Why do I have this feeling that something 
happened to the Jaguar?” 


History of Jazz and Rock 


(continued from page 134) 
halls and social gatherings as small society 
orchestras and pushed the music ahead 
another step when they started livening up 
their dance material with the beat of their 


The new music gained inspiration from 
а postwar influx of back-country black 
hers and their congregations, who 
brought their emotional, rhythmically 
charged spirituals, shouts and sermons to 
the rough uptown districts. The Mardi 
C ixed African, 
French and Choctaw ancestry who masked 
during Mardi G 
erved the remaining traces of their 
African heritage through their ritualistic 
chants and cries, wild street moves and 
regular Sund: indian practices.” They 
added an Afro-Caribbean-Choctaw rhyth- 
mic twist to the music of the brass bands 
that survives today as an essential ingredi- 
ent of all New Orleans music. 


. 
Blues іп the country, brass bands in the 


y—here were the two strains of African- 
American music that would dominate and 
inform all American popular music for the 
next century: Both gave voice to the evolv- 
ing culture of ex-slaves in new circum- 
stances. Both served the emerging needs 
for self-expression and homespun enter- 
ment among the commun 


produced them. But emancipation also 
сіне of an с 


made possible the cme: 
ly new force in Ame 
the professional Negro entertainer. 

The first black entertainers to pursue а 


living in the music business were the gen- 
uine Negro 


nstrels who surfaced after 
ın to introduce 


throughout America 
approximation of the had been 
popular with the general public since the 
1840s, performed by troupes of wl 
tertainers originating in New York who 
aped the early inventions of actual plan 
tation minstrels. They formed troupe 
dressed іп raggedy formalwear, blackened 
their faces and hands with bu 
offered awkward versions of Negro 
dancesand comedy rou 
blackface minstrels. 
Once I 
show business oflered 
African Ame 1 


the Georgia M 
trels and McCabe and 
ed wide exposure 


ughout the count 
he genuine Negro min: 
contributed a radical new musical for 
called ragtime, a relentlessly polyrhythmic 


ment scene in the late 18805. 
e developed as soon as black musi 5 
ed regular access to that quintessen- 
tial European instrument, the piano, and 


terta 
ti 


began to bend its keys to their own purpos- 
es. Adapting their ancestral musical con- 
cepts and practices to its expressive 
properties, the early ragtime pianists 
whipped together light classics, popular 
marches and show tunes, folk ditties and 
traditional 


published ra; 
and W. H. Krells The Mississippi Rag— 
appeared in 1897 and were instantly 


snatched up by millions of American 
holds to be studied and played on 


hous 
parlor 


p 

ored the attack of the brass band 
as the approach of the "piano professors" 
who provided popular entertainment for 
the city's 1 

tutored uptown blacks bega 
blues and spirituals, infusing their coun- 
try-bred concoctions with the spirit and 
drive of ragtime. 

Popular ragtime compositions by Mid- 
western pianists published by New York 
music firms found their way onto the music 
stands of the Creoles of color, who prided 
themselves on their hard-won ability to 
read and perform every sort of written 
material. Syncopation reared its ten 
head and these stiff, well-schooled musi- 

ians who had moved so far away from the 
polyrhythms of Africa were sud- 
denly propelled right back under their 
spell. The Creoles’ mastery of the lugubi 
ous rhythms and dragging tempos of 
ropean music stood for nought in the face 
of the га е invasion, which demanded 
the destruction of regular meter by the un- 
relenting offbeats and cross- 
characterized the new popu 
the Nineties. 

At that point was added the 
ent in the development of 
with a new twist. However strong the 
ole musi " loyalty to European forms 
and however strong their stand against the 

1 ker-s blacks. the rela- 


egi 
were thrown together into a single 
class barred from equal pari 
of life. 
sed in one stroke the 
xerted by the Creoles to 
es from their fellow citi- 


The new la 
decades of eff 
distance thet 


haughty Creoles were reduced to the level 
of the lowliest blacks just in from the coun- 
try, forced to compete with their rough, 


ursed the day they had 
been born with whatever fractional 
amount of African blood still ran through 


{you's hike to now more about the way we make whisey а Jack Danes. dp usa те 


AT JACK DANIELS DISTILLERY, our miller 
is known as the crankiest man in Moore County. 


We're glad that he is. 


For seven generations at our Tennessee distillery 
we've insisted on the very best corn American 
farmers can grow. Our miller inspects each 
delivery from bottom to top. Andif — |. 

it isn't up to our standard, he'll send 

the whole truckload right back. 

Occasionally, we hear he's too picky. 

But we don't mind hearing that. 
You see, what earns him his 
cranky reputation is what earns 
our whiskey your respect. 


SMOOTH SIPPIN' 
TENNESSEE WHISKEY 


Tennessee Whiskey « 40433 alcohol by volume (60-86 proof) = Distilled and Bottled by 
Jack Daniel Distillery, Lem Motlow, Propneter, Route 1, Lynchburg (Pop 361), Tennessee 37352 


157 


PLAYBOY 


their veins. All had to cope somehow, for 
better or for worse, with the new Jim Crow 
definition of negritude and the limited op- 
portunities it afforded every person of 


A descent 

The most resourceful of the Creoles 
read the handwriting on the wall and be- 
gan preparing at once to mingle in the eco- 


nomic sphere with the blacks their people 
had shunned for generations. Among the 
Creole musicians, that meant accepting the 
crowd-pleasing validity of the gut-bucket 
blues and the Baptist spirituals the rough 
uptown players used to entertain their 
crowds. Enterprising Creoles turned their 
considerable prowess toward the task of 
meeting the low-down mark set by the 
raggedy musicians of ignoble birth. 


It was at this point th: 
The Jim Crow amendments, intended to 
hold back the progress of the African race, 
ironically facilitated the commingling of 
the distina African-American cultural 
strains. And out of unity came the musical 


matter of months, the first identifiable jazz 
group, Buddy Bolder's Eagle Band, would 
strut onto the stage of history from the dis- 
reputable precincts of uptown New Or- 


leans, laying down a sound that would 
reverberate around the globe. 


This is the first іп а series of articles that 
will appear from time to time. 


PLACE YOUR BETS 


(continued from page 128) 
eleven. But I really don't know about this 
seven horse. Maybe 1 should go with the 
eight. Who do you like in the race, any- 
way?" If you do this and I happen to be the 
next person in line, I will deliver a stinging 
rebuke. If there are 15 seconds left before 
post time and Lam in danger of being shut 
out, I may throule you 

Bettors uncertain about the proper pro- 
cedures should bet early, not in the last- 
minute crush, but all should learn proper 
conduct at the windows: Have your bets 
п on your program; don't expect to 
make any last-second decisions. Have the 
money in your hand. Call your bets in the 
following order: amount, type of bet, 
horse’s number. For example. “Five dollars 
to win on number eight. Two-dollar exac- 
tas, eight-one, eight-five, eight-six." 


. 
Watching the Race: In order to see a 
is no longer necessary to tote 


race clei 


compact sizes (such as В x 20) that will fit 
nto a pocket but will nevertheless give a 
avor-sharp view of a race. But there are 
plenty of horse players, even serious ones, 
who don't bother with binoculars at ай, 
preferring to watch races on closed-circuit 
television. In either case, a bettor should 
take а look at his horses when they go unto 
the track and make a mental note of the 
cut and the color of the jockey’ silks зо he 
can follow the progress of his investment 
when the race is on. 


. 
Rooting: The running of a race is a 
minute or two of intense excitement and 
noise as thousands of people implore dif- 
ferent horses, cheer their victories and 
curse their losses. Nevertheless, a few rules 
of etiquette must govern such behavior. 
One day at Hialeah, I bet $1000 on a 
horse and watched the race from the press 
box, rooting energetically, Next to me was 
а young man who was screaming for his 
horse with the level of emotion that one 
might normally reserve for pleading with 
the Mau Mau to spare one’s infant child. 
When the young man’s horse beat mine, I 
learned that he had bet two dollars and 
had won $20. My annoyance led to the for- 
mulation of the Beyer Rule of Rooting: 
While enthusiastic cheering is part of the 
game, wild ained displays of 
emotion are permissible only when the po- 


tion before dropping to my 
ny arms and shouting, "I'm 
king of the world!" 

It should be noted, however, that vocif- 
erous denunciations of jockeys are alwi 
considered р ible. After a race has 
been run, you may stand in the midst of a 


crowd and shout, “That crooked little pin- 
head! He ought to be arrested!” Reg: 
less of what has transpired in the race, 
the people around you will be nodding 
igorously in agreement. 
. 

If You Get Serious: Horse racing has 
always tended to appeal to a hard core of 
committed devotees rather than a broad 
base of casual fans, because the game usu- 
ally inspires either passion or indifference, 
Those who find that the game strikes а re- 
sponsive chord in them will want to ex- 
plore new horizons—both intellectually 


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literate books about hand. 
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computer-generated statistics as a basis for 
understanding the sport. The Body Lan- 
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horses” physical appearance. My book, 
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rent popularity of speed handicappin] 
The Winning Horseplayer describes a more 
advanced approach called trip handicap- 
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major literature on the subject. 

As new fans develop a fondness for the 
sport and a national perspective, they will 
want to see the famous races and race 
tracks that they read about in the Daily 
Racing Form. The Breeders’ Cup, the one- 
day extravaganza with seven rich champi- 
onship races, is the sport's most compelling, 
attraction; it will be held this fall at Bel- 
mont Park on Long Island, next fall at 
Louisville's Churchill Downs. And every 
horse player should probably see one Ken- 
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their country’s version of the Daily Racing 
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Sex Butties 


(continued from page 88) 
rights movement (much to the well-ex- 
pressed disgust of the leaders of that 
movement). The anti-abortion movement 
was, until recently, dominated by Catholic 
religious leaders and composed largely of 
men. Most of those women held strong 
religious convictions against abortion and 
many were antifemi s well, because 
they believed that feminism threatened 
their identity and prestige in the tradition- 
al roles of wife and mother. 

But what we are seeing with Operation 
Rescue is not women who feel threatened 
by the feminist movement—it is young 
men. 125 young men you see outside 
abortion clinics 


of them is the popularity of extraordina 
ly sexist comedians—"the Rev" 
Kinison, Andrew Dice Clay, Rick Ducom- 
mun and others, who are nor only hot on 
the comedy-club circuit but also frequently 
featured on cable-TV channels. “Bitch,” 
“slut,” “cunt,” “dyke.” “whore"—the in- 
sults pour out of them and audiences roar 
with laughter. Part of their appeal is the 
lure of the outrageous—to be daring, to be 
outré, to say what no one else dares say 
And part of the appeal is what one form of 
humor has always been good for—its a 
great way to express hostilit 

Terry says it without humor: "Our 
diehard enemies are almost totally femi 


with child abuse or work at shelters for bat- 
tered women. They are under constant as- 
sault by people convinced that they are 
destroying the family by tying to stop 
physical violence within the family. These 
so-called pro-family groups are often fun- 
damentalist Christians hipped on the no- 
tion, pure and simple, that God intended 
the man to be the head of the famil 

With the antipornography movement, 
the antisex coalition takes on an even more 
unlikely ally than hip comedians—femi- 


obscenity statutes, we saw an alliance of 
fundamentalists and feminists united in 
efforts to impose legal censorship. In 

finneapolis, the statute was vetoed Бу 
the mayor; in Indi- 


these days scream- 
i “Whi and 
at every 
woman who enters. 
Susan Faludi, who is 
writing a book on 
the backlash against 
feminism, reports 
that Terry's back- 
ground is fairly typi- 
cal. Son of а 
middle-class family 
in Upstate New 
York, Terry was 
bright and talented 
kid who was un- 
deremployed by 
the early Eighties. 
He flipped burg- 
ers at McDonald, 
pumped gas, sold 
tires and cars and 
was laid off twice 
during the reces- 
sion. Faludi ob- 
serves, “The men of 
Operation Rescuc— 
and police records 
indicate that 56 per- 
cent of the activists 
are men—do not 
the stereotype of 
grizzled Christian 
elders. Almost all 
leaders and nearly 
half its active partic- 
ipants are in their late 20s to mid-30s. 
They are men who belong to the second 
half of the baby-boom generation, men 
who not only missed the political engage- 
ment of the Sixties but were cheated out of 
that era's affluent bounty 
the media,” Faludi writes, “the abor- 
tion debate is most commonly framed as a 
moral dispute over a biology que: 
When does life begin? But Oper 
cues peculi 
mosity is fueled by far more personal 
emotions. These are men who are losing 
nd at the same time seeing wom- 
en gaining it—and suspect a connection.” 
The resentment of young white men 
who are losing ground in the system and 


ion 
m Res- 
brand of passion and ani- 


anapolis, it was 
urned by the 
courts. But these 


will not be the last 
such efforts. Legal 
censorship is by no 
ns a majority 
position among fem- 
inists—few approve 
of pornography, but 
then, few approve of 
censorship, either 
Pornography is a 
cause that attracts a 
wide range of cru- 
saders. One of the 
most notable is 
Charles H. Keating, 
of icoln Savings 
and Гоа When 
not presiding over 
his failed S&L and 
consorting with U. 
Senators, hc spent 
his time on efforts to 
keep dirty maga- 
out of the 
Pay. Which is 
to say that all 


oppose porn 


not 
who 
are given to fin 


с chicanery— 
merely that they i 
heterogencous lot 


nists. Radical feminism, of course, has 
vowed to destroy the traditional family 
unit, hates motherhood, hates children for 
the most part, promotes lesbian activity 
Take Margaret Sanger [founder of 
Planned Parenthood]. She was a whore, 
she slept all over the place, all over the 
world, with all kinds of people.” 

The prescription is clear: Back to the 
kitchen: keep ет ba 

Perh 
this attitude is the work of the pro-family 
forces to stop programs designed to end 
child abuse and to help battered women. 
You may wonder how anyone could be 
nst stopping child abuse or wife bat- 
; ask social workers who deal 


Antiporn groups 
also attract а deli 
cious assortment of fruitcakes and Ы 


noses, who can be counted upon to 
denounce immortal works of literature, 
sight sexual innuendoes in Dr. Seuss books 
and otherwise add to the festive carnival of 


malarkey that enriches our civic life 


One fundamentalist: di е, the Rev- 
erend Mark Weaver, heads a group called 
Citizens Against Pornography and is hell- 


bent on driving sin out of Austin, Texas. At 
a recent City Planning Commission hear- 
ing, Weaver informed a horrified a 
that only the day before, 
out of the dirty-mov 
Congress Avenue, gone into the 
hind that theater and . . . mast 


And a lady who has two little girls lives 


right behind that theater and they might 
have seen that man doing th сері, 
praise Jesus, she has a large wooden fence 
around her yard. 

Weaver's testimony against the evil 
wreaked by dirty movies caused John Hen- 
ту Faulk, 75, to creak up to the microphone 
and announce that he had been born and 
raised in South Austin, not а quarter of a 
mile from where the dirty-movie theater 
stands today. “I think you should all know,” 
he announced, “that there was a consider 
able amount of masturbation goin' on in 
South Austin before there was ever a dirty- 
movie theater on South Congress Avenue." 

The antigay movement, as reflected 
its literature, springs from the danker 
and murkier depths of human motivation. 
The fact that it 
is distinctly sick is 
reflected in the 
miasma of red 
that surrounds it. A 
lot of people who 
are antigay dont 
just crusade against 
homosexual book- 
stores or try to put 
gay bars out of busi- 
ness with zoning 
ordinances—they 
go out and beat up 
the patrons. It is 
that sick violence 
that makes antig. 
literature and action. 
groups so repellent. 
The question that 
always comes up 
is, Just who is call- 
ng whom perverted 
here? 


оте genteel 
reaches. of antigay 
bigotry continue 10 
enjoy wide social 
acceptance. The 
young thug in Dal 
las who went out gi 
bashing one night 
last year and wound 
up murdering two 
men he didnt even 
Know is not destined 
to become a social 
lion. On the other hand, Judge Jack 
Hampton, who gave this creep an excep- 
tionally light semence оп the stated 
grounds that his victims were “ju 
queers,” enjoyed more applause than con- 
demnation, He is running unopposed Гог 
re-election and has received a huge num- 
ber of campaign contributions. 

AIDS has obviously reinforced а range 
of fears about homosexuals and has pro- 
noted antigay prejudice. As the disease 
ads and begins to cost more and 
—its impact on the nation’s health- 
care system has only begun to be felt—it 
will inevitably help give sex a bad name. 

Barbara Ehrenreich, in her recent book 
The Fear of Fallmg, notes that the current 


social and political conservatism of the 
American middle class was caused in large 
part by a reaction against and fear of the 
dread Sixties triumvirate—ses, drugs and 
rock and roll. Middle-class reaction against 
hedonism, real or perceived, is extremely 
strong. Middle-class mores call for 
pline, self-denial and postponement of 
gratification. 

The President of the United States regu- 
arly says that the most serious problem 
this country faces is drugs, which are, in 
fact, used by only a very small percentage 
of Americans. But the fear of drugs and оГ 
permissiveness and of all they imply about 
decline and decay is pervasive in our coun- 
try. Not even rock and roll is safe from ri 
action: All over the country, legislatures 


imported beer taste satisfies your 


attempts to outlaw sex in one way or anoth- 
er. James West, a senator in the Washing- 
ton State legislature, introduced a bill this 
year that would outlaw not only sexual in- 
tercourse among those under 18 but also 
“heavy petting.” According to the National 
Center for Health Statistics, 54 percent of 
young women 15 to 19 have had inter- 
course at least once, so this bill would cre- 
ate a substantial pool of future felons. 
Right away, you can see the complications 
that would ensue from legal sanctions 
against heavy petting. Definitions would 
be critical. Did you touch it? Did it twitch? 
If you're the first person in your area to be 
thrown into the hoosegow for French kiss 
ing, how will you explain it to all the 
mother rapers and father killers domg 
hard time? 

One ambitious 
‘Texas legislator 
troduced a thi 
would have made 
same-sex hand- 
holding But 
it is unwise 10 as- 
sume that just be- 
cause this is a 
hopelessly silly ei 
deavor it will never 
succeed. American 
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PEDAL POWER 


(continued from page 121) 
suflering from glandular problems. They 
are constructed of ultralight aluminum 
tubing oversized to increase strength. 
Their fat, knobby tires and state-of-the-art 
multigear component groups can take, and 
survive, a beating off the beaten bike path. 
Of course, it makes іше difference that 
most mountain bikers will come as close to 
ing on a mountain as Dan Quayle came 
to landing in Saigon. 

Road racers: The top guns of bicycling 
are made to go fast, period! Their light al- 
loy or aluminum frames, aerodynamically 
designed disc or three-spoke composite 
wheels and finely machined component 
groups make these hot screamers look 
sharper and move faster than any previous 
generation of roadi The fallout is that 
they have unleashed legions of LeMond 


clones onto the bike paths and public ways, 
which is like using a Corvette as rush-hour 
transportation in midtown Manhattan. 
While biking is enjoying a renaissance, 
riders now face police and rangers with 


radar guns, advocates for mandatory hel- 


met laws and cops on mountain bikes mak- 
ing arrests. Can Ted Koppel and Nightline 
be far behind? 

Whether the bicycle is to the Nineties 
what the horse was to the last century re- 


ains to be seen. That it can take its rider 


ту That its being used 
pose is also a given. It's the 
hicle, no matter what you 
plan to escape from or to. So, although it 
once may have been easier to buy a bike, it 
sure wasnt as much fun. Happy t 


“Luckily, I hit my head 
when I fell off the bar stool and I suddenty remembered 
who I was and where I lived." 


SOLDIER 

(continued from page 146) 
make a RICO case against Englemans 
boss, Engleman was a logical place to apply 
pressure. He wasn't really a criminal, he 
hadn't done much of anything, and they 
told him he was going to prison unless he 
rolled over and testified. If he did what 
they said, they'd give him a new name and 
move him someplace safe. If not, he could 
talk до his wife once а month through a 
screen and have ten years to get used 


" he wanted to 
know. "Somebody leaked it in Washing- 


ak thing,” he 
“Somebody saw you on the street, 
recognized you, followed you home.” 

“Here in Roseburg? 

"I dont think so. Were you out of town a 
week or so ago 

“Oh, God,” Engleman said. “We went 
down to San Francisco for the weekend 
iat sounds right.” 

"I thought it was safe. I don't even know 
anybody in San Francisco; | was never 
there in my life. It was her birthday; we 
figured nothing could be safer. I don't 
know a soul there.” 
‘Somebody knew you. 

“And followed me back here?” 

“I dont even know. Maybe they got your 
plate and had somebody run it. Maybe 
they checked your registration at the hotel. 
Whats the difference?” 

No ditlerence.” 

Engleman picked up his coflee and 
stared into the cup. Keller said, "You knew 
last night. Did you call someone? 
here's somebody 1 can call," Engle- 
man said. He put his cup down. “It’s not 
that great a program,” he said. “Irs great 
when they're telling you about it, but the 
execution leaves a lot to be desired.” 
Keller said 
Il anybody. What are 
they going to do? Say they stake my place 
out, the house and the print shop, and they 
pick you up. Even if they make something 
stick against you, what good does itdo me? 
We'll have to move again because the guy'll 
just send somebody else, right?" 

“I suppose so." 

“Well, I'm not moving anymore. They 
moved us three times and I dont evel 
know why. | think it's atic, part of the 


ing the first ycar or two. This is the first 
place we've really settled in to since we left, 
nd we're starting to make money at Quik 
i e it. I like the town and I 
ess. Û don't want to move.” 
‘The town seems nic 
“h is,” Engleman s 
thought it would be 
“And you didn't want to develop an ас 
counting pra 
“Never, п said. “I had enough 
of that, bel . Look what it got me.” 
“You wouldn't necessarily have to work 
for crool 


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164 


EO Rê Any 
Ne hee In aluat: RE e 
side of somebody else's business. I'd rather 
have my own little bu: 


Wied business Se men 
forms, I'll print ‘em for you." 
How did you learn the business?" 

“It's a franchise kind of thing, a turn-key 
operation. Anybody could learn it in twen- 
ty minutes.” 

“No kidding?” Keller said. 

“Oh, yeah. Anybody” 

Keller drank some of his coffee. He 
asked if Engleman 


his safe-deposit box. 
“Here's your kitchen,” the woman said. 
“Негев your half bath. Here's your fenced 


“TIl be in touch,” he told her, taking her 
card. “I havea business deal pending and a 
lot depends on the outcome.” 
. 

He and Engleman had lunch the next 
ay. They went to the Mexican place 
nd Engleman wanted everything very 
mild. “Remember,” he told Keller, “I used 
to be an accountant." 

“You're a printer now" Keller said. 
“Printers can handle hot food.” 

“Not this primer. Not this printers 
stomach.” 


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he just ran out in the street. 
he driver couldn't help 
“How did you happen to call 


im Sol- 


"1 forget. Then, when I did the flier, I 
don't know, I had to put ANSWERS то SOME- 
k of were names like 
and Spot. Like signing 
John Smith on a hotel register, you know? 
Then it came to me—Soldicr. Been years 
since I thought about that dog." 


. 

After lunch, Engleman went back to the 
shop and Keller returned to the motel for 
his car. He drove out of town on the same 
road he'd taken the day he bought the gun. 
This time, he drove a few miles farther 
before pulling over 


had said anythi and cutting the 
his wife and lea engine. 
that he Вади He got the gun 


“Thats good,” he 
said. “Don't say аш 


weighing some busi- 
ness ventures, needs 
a printer, has 10 
have, you know 
arrangements so 
theres no cash-flow 
And Um 
king bus 
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from the glove box 
and opened the 
cylinder, spilling the 
shells into his palm. 
He tossed (Вет 
underhand, then 
weighed the gun in 
his hand for a 
moment before 
hurling it into a 
patch of brush. 
McLarendon 
would be horrified, 


off and have coffee There's nothing quite like the feeling of using the uncommon condoms from he thought. Mis- 
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dont want to hurt 
you, Burt. I wanted 
to, wc wouldn't be 
having this conver- 
sation. I'd put a gun 
to your head, do 


what l'm supposed 
to do. You 


sce a 


pt 
they want to know why What I have to do, 
I have to figure something out. You don't 
want to run." 

"No. The hell with running." 

“Well, ГИ figure something out,” Kelle 
said. "I've got а few days. ГИ think of 


. 

After breakfast the next mon 
Keller drove 10 the office of one of the 
Realtors whose ads he'd been reading. 
woman about the same age as Betty Engle- 
man took him around and showed him 
three houses. They were modest homes 
but decent and comfortable, and they 
ranged between $40,000 and $60,000. 

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hey cach drank a bottle of Carta Blan- 
ca with the meal. Keller had another bottle 
afterward. Engleman had a cup of coffee. 

“If I had a house with a fenced yard." 
Keller said, “I could have a dog and not 
worry about him running oft." 

“I guess you could,” Engleman said. 

“U had a dog when I was a kid,” Keller 
said. “Just the once. I had him for about 
two years when I was eleven, twelve years 
old. Hi 

ЕК 

“He wasn't part shepherd. He was a little 
thing; I suppose he was some kind of terri- 
er cross." 

"Did he run off? 
“No, he got hit by a car. He was stupid 


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drove back to town. 


. 
led White 
When the 
woman answered, 
he said, “You don't 
have to disturb him, 
Dot. Just tell him 
make my 
today I 
changed the reser- 
1 moved it 
ahead to Tuesday. 
Tell him every 
thing's OK, only it's taking a little longe 
like I thought it might." She asked how 
“Из real nice,” he said. “Very 
isten, don't you think that's part 

? it was raining, I'd probably have it 
taken care of, ГА be home by now.” 

. 


Не 
Plains. 


like going for 

offered. 
When he got there, Engleman was wait- 

ing out in front. He got in and fastened his 


ride. "I'll pick you up,” he 


seat belt. “Nice car,” he said. 
“I's a renal" 
4 figure you drove your own car 


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all the way out here. You know, it gave mea 
turn. When you said, ‘How about going f 

a ride? You know, going for a ride. Like 
there's a connotation.” 

Keller said, "we probably 
ve taken your car. I figured you 
could show me the area.” 

“You like it here, huh?” 

“Very much,” Keller said. “I've been 
thinking. Suppose I just stayed here. 

“Wouldn't he send somebody?” 

“You think he would? I don’t know, He 
nit killing himself trying to find you, At 
first, sure, but then he forgot about it 
Then some eager beaver in San Francisco 
happens to spot you and, sure, he tells me 
to go out and handle it, But if I just don't 
come back" 

“Caught up in the lure of Roseburg,” 
an said. 


Burt, i 
You know, I'm going to stop tha 
"What 
"Calling you Burt. Your name's Ed now, 
so why don't I call you Ed? What do you 
think, Ed? That sound good to you, Ed, 
old buddy?" 

“And what do 1 call you?” 

“Al's fine. What should I do, take a left. 
here?" 

No, go another block or two," Engle- 
man said. “There's a nice road, leads 
through some very pretty scenery" 

A while later, Keller said, "You miss it 
much, Ed?” 

“Working for him, you mean?” 

No, not that. The city” 

"New York? I never lived in the city, not 
really. We were up in Wesichester." 

“Still, the whole area. You mi: 

“No.” 

“I wonder if I would.” They fell silent, 
and after perhaps five minutes, Keller 
said, “My father was a soldier; he was 
killed in the war when I was just a baby. 
That's why I named the dog Soldier.” 

Engleman didnt say anything. 

“Except I think my mother was lying,” 
he went оп. “I don't think she was married, 
and I have a feeling she t know who 
my father was. But I didn't know that when 
I named the dog. When you think about 
its a stupid name, anyway, for a dog, Sol- 
dier. It's probably stupid to name a dog aft- 
er your father, as far as that goes." 

. 

nday, he stayed in the room and 
watched sports on television. The Mexican 
place was closed; he had lunch at Wendy's 
and dinner at a Pizza Hut 
noon, he was back at the Mexi 
had the newspaper with him, and he or- 
dered the same thing he'd ordered the 
first time, the chicken enchiladas. 

When the waitress brought coffee after- 
ward, he asked her, “When's the wedding? 

She looked utterly blank. “The wed- 
ding" he repeated, and pointed at the 
ring on her finge 

"Oh." she said. 
anything. The 
her first mar 


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asked could I wea 
right. I used to wear it on the other hand, 
fits better hei 
He felt curiously 


bu 


ngry, as though she'd 
betrayed the fantasy he'd spun out about 
her. He left the same tip he always left and 
took a long walk around town, gazing in 
windows, wandering up one street and 
down the next. 

He thought, Well, you could marry her. 
Shes already got the engagement ring. 
ЕЛІ print you wedding invitations, except 
who would you invite? 

And the two of you could get a house 
with a fenced yard and buy a dog, 

Ridiculous, he thought. The whole thing 
was ridiculous. 


. 

At dinnertime, he didn't know what to 
do. He didn't want to go back to the Ме 
can café, but he felt perversely disincl 
to go anywhere else. One more Mexican 
meal, he thought, and ГІ wish I had that 
gun back so I could kill myself 

He called Engleman at home. “Look,” 
he said, “this is important. Could you meet 
me at your shop?" 

“When?” 

“As soon as you can.” 

“We just sat down to dinner.” 

“Well, don't ruin your meal,” Keller said. 
“What is it, seven-thirty? How about if you 
тесі me іп an hour?" 

He was waiting in the photographers 
doorway when Engleman parked the Hon- 
da in front of his shop. ^I didirt want to 
disturb you,” he said, “but I had an idea. 


Can you open up? 1 want to see something 
nside. 


went in. Keller kept tall 
how he'd figured out a way he could stay 
Roseburg and not worry about the m: 
White Plains. “This machine you've got,” 
he said, pointing to one of the сори 

How does this worl 
work? 
“What does that switch do?” 


rd, and Keller 
got the loop of wire out of his pocket and 
dropped it around the other man’s neck. 
The garrote was fast, silent, deadly. Keller 
made sure Engleman’s body was where it 
couldn't be seen from the street, made sure 
to wipe his prints off any surfaces he may 
have touched. He turned off the lights, 
closed the door behind him. 

He had already checked out of the 
„and now he drove straight to 
h the Ford's cruise control set 
1f 


uand, w 
just below the speed limit. He drove h 
an hour in silence, then turned on the r 
dio and tried to find a station he could 
stand. Nothing pleased him and he gave 
up and switched it off 

Somewhere north of Eugene, he said, 
“Jesus, Ed, what else was I going to do? 

He drove straight through 10 Portland 
and gota room at the ExecUlodge near the 
port. In the morning, he turned in the 
Hertz car and dawdled over сойее until 
his flight was called. 

He called White Plains as soon as he was 
on the ground at J.EK. “It's all taken care 


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of,” he said. “ГИ come by sometime tomor 
row. Right now, I just want to get home, get 
some sleep.” 


The 


White 
iked 


following afternoon i 
Dot ‘d him how he had 
Roseburg. 

“Really n 
people. I wanted to 

“Oh, Kelle 
look at houses? 

“Not exactly.” 

“Every place you go,” she said, 
to live there.” 

“Its nice,” he 
cheap compared to h 
have a decent life.” 

“For a week,” she si 
nuts.” 

“You really think so? 

“Come on,” she said. 
gon? Come on.” 

*] guess you're right,” he said. “I guess a 
week's about as much as 1 could handle. 

. 

A few days later, he was gomg through 
his pockets before taking some clothes to 
the cleaners. He found the Roseburg 
street map and went over it, remembering 
where everything was. Quik Print, the 
Douglas Inn, the house on Cowslip. The 
Mexican café, the other places he'd eatei 
The houses he'd looked at 

He folded the map and put it in his 
dresser drawer. A week later, he came 
across it and laughed. And tore it in half, 
and in half again, and dropped it into the 
wastebasket. 


A person could 


Then you'd go 


Roseburg, Ore- 


UNHOLY BUSINESS 


(continued from page 55) 
¡gue with a priest 
еп have stepped forward to 
ith having used his position 
nt House to seduce them 


accusation, 
ed the mes- 
ather, who 
be he is, 


When it turned out that Kite, under а 
false identity, had obtained funds from 
Covenant House id admission to a 
Catholic college, Covenant House officials 
said he had fabricated his false identity. 
But that turned out to be wrong with the 
on that these same offi 


the Catholic Church to appropriate the 
name, baptismal papers and Soc 


ty number of a dead Cal 
boy's parents have con 
admits that he showed poor judg- 

^ taking what he ad 
i but he 


other copycat accusations, and that’s how 
he and Covenant House officials sought to 
dismiss the daims of Darryl J. Bassile that 
he had been seduced as a young teenager 
by Ritter. But as The New York Times rc- 
ported, “Mr. Bassile had mentioned his 
complaints against Father Ritter to an 
Ithaca psychotherapist in April 1989, more 
thana half year before Mr. Kite came for- 
ward. Handwritten notes of the therapist, 
Daniel Matusiewicz, show this.” 

Bassile told the Times that Ritter had se- 
duced him in 1973, when he was a 14-year- 
old runaway, and his complaints triggered 
an investigation by 
periors and the suspension of Ritter as 
head of Covenant House. 

No one denies the value of Covenant 
House, and given his troubles, it will un- 
doubtedly be more difficult for Ritter or 
Covenant House to raise money in the fu- 
ture, no matter the outcome of this case. 
Why not, then, have the Federal Govern- 
ment step in and at least pick up the sl 
nd Bush both celebr 
he same moment tha 
they cut funds for comparable Federal 
programs. The argument was that the pri- 
vate sector could do it better. Maybe the 
ways true. 
on to the charges of sexual cor- 
I unconfirmed, Ritter has ad- 
ber of highly questionable 
s. Huge loans were 
made to Ritter, his top associates and even 
his r from monies gathered from the 
public to help runaway children, causing 
The New York Times, a former Ritter parti- 
san, to editorialize that he “seems to have 
lost the ability to distinguish between the 


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children's welfare and his own.” 

The whole thing stinks. This guy is sup- 
posed to Бе some kind of Mother Teresa; 
now it turns out he's into high finance. Rit- 
ler set up a trust to “provide confidential, 
‘safe harbor’ support for exploited youth” 
and used those funds to make personal 
loans, But to use funds intended for kids to 
bail your buddies out of some dubious land 
dealings is unconscionable. Ritters de- 
fense of his personal slush fund was that 
he started it to support programs that 
Covenant House could not afford but fur- 
ther admitted using it to hide a portion of 
his own considerable salary lest he be criti- 
cized for getting paid $98,000 a year 
Quite a hair shirt, that. 

The lesson is clear once again that pow- 
er, even in the private sector, corrupts, and 
that the appearance of holy charity may be 
the best cover for tawdry worldly pursuits. 
Those thousand points of light dont al- 
ways flicker so purely and certainly should 
not be used as an excuse for gutting public 
programs to aid the necdy. Since Reagan 
and Bush both held Ritter up as the alter- 
native to Government action, don't they 
now have an obligation to at least comment 
on the horrendous mismanagement of this 
public trust? Charges of sexual and 
financial exploitation in a program that 
they held up as a model cannot be ignored, 
and the silence of two Presidents who so 
gullibly bought his act mocks their claim of 
concern for the needy young. 

The unraveling of Ritter's 
should remind us of how difficult it 
draw those clean lines between good and 
evil that people such as Ritter are forever 
drawing. It would be nice to imagine that 
we do havea neat division in this world be- 
tween saints and sinners and that all we 
need for a healthy society is the suppres- 
sion of the latter with the full force of law 
by the former. But the world is a murky 
place, and a suspicious glance at those who 
claim to be holier than thou is the healthi- 
est response. As Ritter himself put it, in 
summing up his work on the pornography 
commission before the recent fracas, 
"When all is said and done, 1 am who I am. 
1 cannot exit from my personal skin. | can- 
not divest myself, any more than any other 
citizen, of that ‘walking-around collection 
of a priori assumptions’ that in part help 
constitute who and what I am." 
at is the point. All would-be cens 
are just that—walking-around collections 
of a priori assumptions. One shouldn't ask 
them to exit from their personal skins and 
they ought to extend the same privilege to 
others. As Ritter now slides down the slip- 
pery slopes of guilt by association that he 
helped grease, it is tempting to say, Screw 
him. He and his ilk so poisoned the pub- 
съ perception of civil liberties and per- 
sonal freedom that maybe he deserves 
what he gets. But no; if we take the рге- 
sumption of innocence from Ritter, we 
take it from all, and that is too high a price. 


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re Money Than 1 Ever Dreamed” 
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m 


PLAYBOY 


172 


WILD ORCHID 


(continued from page 82) 
undercover tumble: Mickey wanted it to be 
the most erotic love scene ever played on 
film. 

First, the girl had to be tall. Mickey ар- 
parently has a penchant for big women. 
She had to be thin, with full lips, and 
someone who could measure up against 
the other woman in the film, Jacqueline 
Bisset, who's not exactly chopped liver. 

Director King saw hundreds of actress- 
es. His first likely choice was Brooke 
Shields, who, as it turned out, was eager 
for the part. But there was one problem 
She wouldn't do nude scenes. 

Next: Cindy Crawford, model апа 
Playboy cover girl. King thought he had 
her. She was even scheduled for a fitting 
with designer Luciano Soprani in Milan. 
Then she. too, asked that nudity be written 
out of the script. And by then, King and 
the production staff were already in Rio, 
ready to shoot. 

Enter a model named Carré Otis, a wild- 
ly beautiful and exotic girl. Never mind 
that she had never uttered a word on 
screen: This was the girl. "I have a feeling 
about her,” Mickey said. “I know she can be 
great.” After testing her three times, King 
was convinced she could do it 

On location in Brazil, Carré and Jacque- 
line took to each other immediately, Jackie 


taking the ingénue under her wing and 
giving her guidance and confidence. 

If she needed warming up before the 
final love scene, Carré had ample opportu- 
nity, In the film, her character chances 
upon a construction worker and a woman 
uninhibitedly making love in a deserted 
building. Later, she watches Assumpta Se 
na, the beautiful Spanish actress who stars 
in Pedro Almodovar's Matador, and Oleg 
Vido, playing her husband, make love іп 
the back of a speeding limousine—the re- 
sult of Mickey's seductive wiles. Next, with 
one week left in the shooting schedule, 
there isa scene in which Mickey persuades 
Carré to make love to another man (Bruce 
Greenwood). Rumor has it that by that 
time, Rourke was jealous. At any rate, he 
insisted on being on the set during filming 
of the scene. 

As the clock ticked toward the main 
event, for the first time, Mickey refused to 
come out of his trailer. All of a sudden, he 
didn't like his wardrobe, he detested the 
dialog, he hated the make-up. The pro- 
ducers called it Mickeyitis. They had even 
budgeted for it 

Carré, on the other hand, was calm and 
controlled. Up to that point, Mickey had 
guided her, glowing with pride every time 
she excelled on screen. Now the tables 
were turned: The student, confident, pre- 
pared, had become the teacher. Shooting 
was scheduled for the following day. 


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But half the day went by: по Mickey 
Lights and camera were ready, the set 
dressed. The producers paced the halls; 
King sat in a corner rewriting something 
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King called for action; the scene was 
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Tuesday night doubleheaders show that will report everylhinghap- 


will feature Sean McDonough and (В 
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While SportCenter’s® Chris 
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will do the second. 
Wednesday night 


james will be handled 
by Gory Thorne, Norm 


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5/8 YANKEES VS. 7115 GIANTS VS. 
IGELS CARDINALS 
5/13 ASTROSVS PIRATES | 722 REDSOK VS. ROYALS 
5/20 ROYALS VS. 779 CARDINALS VS. 
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B5 ROYALS VS. 
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613 TWINS YS. WHITE 8/12 PADRES VS ASTROS 
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610 BLUE JAYS VS. 826 ATHLETICS VS. 


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м 
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174 


PLAYMATE OF THE YEAR 


(continued from page 137) 
of the Year of the Nineties and the 
Playmate of the Year of African-America 
heritage ever. “I don't think of myself as 
black or white,” says Reneé, who had plen- 
ty of time to ponder her uniqueness grow- 
ing up in spuds-white Idaho. Her dad, a 
farmer, is black. Her mother is white. Un- 
able to find a minister in their home state 
who was willing to hitch an interracial cou- 
ple, her parents had to go to Nevada to get 
married. “Things were better by the time I 
was growing up. There wasn't much preju- 
Even so, “we knew we 
yone else.” She and her 
in, Rosie—who now signs 
autographs “Rencé” when mistaken for 
her famou proudly asserted their 
uniqueness by “dressing wild” at their 
nearly all-white high school. In that crowd 
of Idaho kids dressed in jeans and flannel 
shirts were two mocha beauties in "leop- 
ard-spot suits—we never got asked out on 
dates, but we didn't mind. It was kind of 
fun to be different.” 

‘Two years ago, Reneé entered the Miss 
Idaho beauty pageant. She failed to make 
the top five. Ata Halloween party, dressed 


па skimpy costume, she was again 
ing a contest to a girlfriend 
dressed as a candy-coated 
chocolate. , that night presaged the 
dream come true that lay ahead; Reneé 
had worn a knockoff of a Playboy Bunny 
Costume. 

Certain that she looked better than her 
competition, Renee's boyfriend took a few 
pictures and sent them to us. In по time, 
Reneé was Miss November 1989. Soon she 
was trying to remember her high school 
French, shooting this pictorial in Paris— 
our Playmate of the Year for 1990. 

g by the swimming pool at Playboy 
Mansion West a few days after her return 
from Paris, she is dressed in black and 
white—black cowboy boots, black-and- 
white-checked slacks, a black blouse that's 
transparent from shoulders to sternum, 
rhinestone earrings white in the sun. She 
smiles, shaking her head. “I can't believe 
whats happened. I'm very proud, but it’s 
hard to get used to. I mean, the last thing I 
ever won was a track event in high school 
back in Idaho,” says Reneé Tenison, 
Miss 1990. “It's a long way from there to 
Playmate of the Yea: 


an also- 


“But always remember, Son, that today’s dorks may 
become tomorrow's heavy hitters.” 


Where and How to Buy 


Special Offer: 

For more information on a speciol 
introductory offer and where to pur- 
chase the International Collection of 
fine leather shoes at Father & Son shoe 
stores at a location near you call 900- 
230-SHOE. Cost of call: $1 per minute. 


To buy the apparel and accessories 
shown on pages 90-95, check listings 
below to locate the store nearest you. 
You may also contact the manufacturers 
directly for information on where to pur- 
chase merchandise in your area using 
the telephone numbers provided. 


Page 90: Swim trunks by Gotcha. 
Grogs, Seaside Park, New Jersey; 
Gadzooks, Memphis; Hobie Sport 
Center, Southern California. Her bikini 
by Jimmy'Z, 714-669-4950. 


Page 91: On left, swim trunks by 
Patrick Einhorn from Kingswood 
Sportswear, 800-235-4747. Mark 
Shale, Chicago. Sunglasses Бу Ziari, 
800-848-2226. Bloomingdale's, NYC; 
Jordan Marsh select New England 
locations. On right, swim trunks and 
cap by Big Dogs Sportswear, 800-235- 
6933. Recreation Equipment, Inc., all 
R.E.l. locations; Britches Great Out- 
doors, Washington, D.C. ; High Coun- 
try Outfitters, Atlanta. Her bikini by 
Darling Rio Swimwear, 305-591-8910. 


Page 92-93: Swim trunks by Bad 
Guys, 212-768-0690. Fred Segal 
Melrose, Los Angeles. Her bikini by 
Jimmy'Z, 714-669-4950. 


Page 94: Swim trunks by Speedo 
America, 800-547-8770. 
Bloomingdale's, Parogon Athletic 
Goods Corp., NYC. Sunglasses by 
Sanford Hutton for Colors in Optics, 
212-889-0500. Bloomingdale's, NYC. 
Her by Darling Rio Swimwear, 
305-591-8910. 


Page 95: Swim trunks by Jams World, 
808-847-5985. Unique Clothing 
Warehouse, NYC; Molly Brown's, Bal- 
boa Peninsula, California. Her bikini 
by Darling Rio Swimwear, 305-591- 
8910. Her sunglasses by Revo, 800- 
FOR-REVO in California, 
800-THE-REVO in oll other states. 


D 


#2 


' The watch for. 
hose on their way 
to the bottom. ' 


Next time someone tells you to gojumip inalake, wear a Timex Marlin” Its water 


resistant to 100 meters. Plusithas both an analog anda digital display with alarm and 
chronograph. All yours for, shall we say, a rock-bottom price. TIMEX MARLIN 
Suggested retall pice $44.95 For the retailer nearest you call 1-S0Q.5ORTIMEX. ©1989 Timex Corp. 
o 1 2-2 y 


STEVE CONWAY 


ON- THE 


ontrary to popular belief, the beach shoe did not die 
when Miami Vice was canceled. As a matter of fact, 
since Don Johnson's espadrilles went into syndica- 
tion, footwear for the hot, wet climes has become 
even more popular. The traditional boat shoe is still being 
worm with beach clothes and summer sportswear; but check 


"SC E NE 


HOT FOOTIN’ 


out Aqua Socks, those mesh-and-rubber slip-ons once worn 
exclusively by divers and surfers. These hot little booties, in 
eye-popping colors, are doing everything for feet but walking 
on water. Away from the sand and surf, lightweight streetwear 
is being made sturdier, with the soles a bit stronger than their 
coastal cousins’. But the heat's on. Try not to get burned. 


Clockwise from 11: Spandex Aqua Sock Too with stretch mesh upper, molded cup sole for lateral support and an antimotion strap 
across the top, by Nike, about $40. Neon-yellow nylon-mesh water shoe with black neoprene back and pebbled traction sole, by Ocean 


Pacific, 632. Mesh surf walker with 


x back and elastic support straps, by Speedo America, $35. Neoprene Water Dogs with a sup- 


port strap, by Thunderwear, about $45. Nylon-mesh water sock with nubbed traction sole, by Reebok International Ltd., about $30. 


Don't Walk Away, Renee 


GRAPEVIN 


Beauty RENEE GRIFFIN came out from behind her shaw! to do Head of 
the Class and Mickey Spillane’s Mike Hammer on TV and Hollywood 
Boulevard 2 on the big screen. Grapevine unwrapped Renee just for you. 


MARK LEIVDAL 


PAUL NATKIN/PHOTO RESERVE INC 


Tell Tchaikovsky the News 


Get familiar with the KRONOS QUARTET. Its repertoire 
ranges from Bartók to Ives to Mingus to Howlin’ Wolf. 
Kronos has played all over the world and on Sesame Street. 
Look for their latest album, Black Angels, and if you don't 
catch them in concert, American Public Radio has a ten- 
part series in the works for the fall. Kronos makes the 
classics rock. 


1000 SCOTT DOWNIE/CELEBRITY PHOTO. 


Peek-a- 
Boobs 


Actress AN- 
DREA THOMP- 
SON joined the 
cast of Falcon 
Crest to play the 
vain, ambitious 
Genele Ericson. 
Youalso saw An- 
drea іп Wall 
Street and Doin’ 
Time on Planet 
Earth. We've 
caught her doing 
hang time. 


Ж 


East, and Pump has 
gone triple platinum. 1 
Joey's keeping time. es 


Bang the 


Drum, Slowly 
JOEY KRAMER of 
Aerosmith has a pro- 
vocative drumkit. The 
band wili be on tour 
throughout the year, 
with a stop in the Far 


Walkin’ the Dog 


Asa singer, CAROLE DAVIS wants tobe tho ambassadress 
of hip-hop. Listen to Heart of Gold to see if she succeeds. 
Asanactress, Davisis in Shrimp on the Barbie with Cheech 


Marin. We give her an A for effort. 


y 
E 
2 
È 
= 
3 
2 


Tickling 
the Ivories 


Piano man, singer and actor HARRY CON- 


Uncovering 
the Bare 
Facts 

Is actress TAMRA 

CARRERA ready for 

summer? You've 

seen her on Bay- 

watch and Jake and 

the Fatman and in 

Back to the Future Il. 

Tonight you'll see 

her in your own \ 
beach-blanket fan- 
tasy—courtesy ofus. 


NICK, JR., is having a killer year. Two new 
albums were released last month. He's 
currently touring with a 30-piece big band, 


and in August, he'll debut in Memphis Belle, 
а movie about a B-52 bomber crew. We're 
wild about Harry. ALAN HOUGHTON 


When МІ „who 

sories, spotted some graffiti nhattan, he tracked down the local 

E Bronx скапа, the TC Mob, whom табе commissioned to create 
ned it 

able, wa. 


ісері бағаннан Curtin UE vacances pec de 
mundane bathroom with the look of chic urban blight. Citys 

able from Gra’ fectics, 3047 East Greenway Road, Phoeni: 
for $85, postpaid. Or phone 602-867-8i 


shower art. Tell thai to the TC Mob. 


BEAVER IN THE BUSH 


mber Jerry Mathers, who entered America's hearts and homes 
1957 as The Beaver in the TV show Leave It to Beaver. From October 

th to November third, The Beaver and his wife, Rhonda, wi 

thet Я streets of mid-Amer 


utes, the home of Isak Dinesen, who 
wrote Out of Africa. Paul Merzig's Adventure Safaris Lid., Eight South Mich- 

ago 60603, can provide all the det 12. 
The price: $2566 per person, not including air fare. Leave it to Beaver! 


Mara Game Reserve and Karen E 


POTPOURRI 


BREWS FROM THE SOUTH 


At $28 a pound, n Blue Mountain 


A most expensive cup of 

So if you're feeling 

to try some, |. Martinez 
DA Peachtree Road 

sa great place 
to start. The Martinez family has been 
volved with coffee for more than 100 years 
and its free catalog offers Blue Mountain 
as well as other terrific brews, 
Kenya AA and Hawaiian Kor 
Fancy. Or call 800-64 


most prized 
Java you can si 


KNOCKOUT RESORT 


fety Harbor Spa & Fi 
ety Harbor, Florid: 
another pretty place to de 


more than just 
obics and 


catch some rays. It also offers a box 
plan that includes r 

ment, boxaerobics class 

more, for prices that begi 

And when you're not wor 

watch the p ; 
Call 813-726-1161 for more info, slugger 


HUNTING QUAYLE 


Poor Dan Quayle. While other 
Vice-Presidents quietly fade 
into the woodwork, Dan the 
Man has an entire quarter- 

ly newsletter—appropriately 
titled The Quayle Quarterly— 
devoted to his doings and un- 
doings. The inaugural issue 
includes a review of The Dan 
Quayle Quiz Book, “Travel Tips 
for Number Twos” and even 
an ad for a Dan Quayle door- 
mat. The price? Just $3.95, or 
$12 for a year’s subscription 
sent to The Quayle Quarter! 
PO. Box 8593, Brewster St; 
tion, Bridgeport, Connecticut 
06605. Stay healthy, George. 


HAVE BOARD, WILL TRAVEL 


IF you've ever seen a photograph of a fleet of windsurfers stretching 
acrossa bay like a Chinese dragon, you've been looking at a Mistral One 
1 regatta. The Mistral One ($1795) is a durable 

ng Equipe. It comes with state-of- 

ial 


Design sailhe 
vel ў 
the-art components and a built-in schedule of racing and ве 
events. Olympic medalist Scott Steele oversees the competition 
the parties, you're on your own. For information, call 301-796- 


THE ROAD TO 
ADVENTURE 


Long to leave the beaten 

path and go adventuring but 
don't want all the 

iences of roughing 

Paragon House Armchair Trav- 
eller Serie 

cup of tea, bwana. The series 
consists of paperback reissues 
of such out-of-print travel clas- 
sics as John Steinbecl 

sian Journal, Sir 

Chichester's Ride оп p» Wind 
and W Somerset Maugham's 
The Gentleman in the Parlour 
The price: $10.95. Now, see if 
you can get your date to serve 
drinks wearing a sarong, 


LAST NIGHT, WE DREAMED 
WE WENT TO MANDERLEY. 


For the 50th anniversary of Alfred Hitchcock's 
Rebecca starring Laurence Olivier and Joan 

Fontaine, the Voyager Company in Santa Мо 
has recently released а spe 
tion САУ laser video disc that includes о 
screen tests, a theatr 
ater broadcast with Orson Welles and much more 
for $124.95. Or you can buy the CLV 
the movie (no additional material) for $69.95, 


LIGHTING UP WITH JAMES DEAN 


The classic James Dean on Broadway poster has 
been around for years, but now a company named 
ha 


Neonize in Huntington Park fornia, has 
brightened his hunkered-do age by adding a 
thin stream of blue-neon “smoke ling fron 


his cigarette. The 40" x 28" poster, which sells for 
about $300, comes framed and ready to hang— 
all you do is plug it in. A call to the company at 
800-776-NEON will get you the name of your 
nearest retailer. Be cool and call. 


NEXT MONTH 


MARILYN REMEMBERED 


MARRIED UFE 


“SOME STILL LIKE IT HOT”—RHONDA RIDLEY AND 
MARILYN MONROE HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON. IF 
WE DIDNT KNOW BETTER, WE'D SWEAR THEY SHARED 
THE SAME BODY. SO, IF YOU SUFFER FROM A SEVEN- 
YEAR ITCH, HERE'S A PICTORIAL FOR A PLACE YOU 
MAY NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REACH BEFORE 


“HANGING OUT WITH THE BUNDYS”—WHILE YUP- 
PIES COCOON IN TV LAND, THE CREATORS OF THE 
SLASH-AND-BURN SITCOM MARRIED . . . WITH CHIL- 
DREN HAVE BEEN BUSY HATCHING THE RAUNCHY 
ANTIDOTE TO COSBYIZATION. A WEEK BEHIND THE 
SCENES WITH THE OUTLAW CAST AND CREW—BY 
PAMELA MARIN 


“AARON NEVILLE'S AMAZING GRACE”—HE WAS A 
LONGSHOREMAN, A THUG AND A DRUG ABUSER. BUT 
ABOVE ALL, HE'S A SINGER WITH THE SWEET, SOOTH- 
ING VOICE OF AN ANGEL—PROFILE BY STEVE POND 


“FIGHTING THE WRONG WAR”—A TOUGH LOOK AT 
OUR INTERVENTION IN LATIN AMERICA ON BEHALF OF 
THE WAR ON DRUGS—AND HOW IT SEEMS A LOT LIKE 
THE LAST WAR WE LOST—BY ROBERT STONE 


QUINCY JONES, THE TALENTED PRODUCER OF МЕ 
CHAEL JACKSON'S THRILLER AND STEVEN SPIEL- 


HISTORY REPEATED 


BERG'S THE COLOR PURPLE, TALKS ABOUT JAZZ, RAP 
AND RACISM WITH ROOTS COLLABORATOR ALEX 
HALEY IN A WARM, REVEALING PLAYBOY INTERVIEW 


“SENIOR LEAGUE BASEBALL”—THE BULL-PEN 
CATCHER OF FORT MYERS' SUN SOX CHRONICLES 
LIFE IN THE NOT-SO-BIG LEAGUES, PROVING YOU 
CAN'T KEEP AN OLD BASEBALL PLAYER DOWN—BY 
RANDY WAYNE WHITE 


“THE ALL-CONSUMING”—A JAPANESE GOURMAND 
FAMOUS FOR FEATS OF INGESTION TRIES DELICACIES 
FROM A RADIOACTIVE RAIN FOREST—AND FINDS 
THEM TO BE AN ILLUMINATING EXPERIENCE—FICTION 
BY LUCIUS SHEPARD 


“THE GAS-STATION CAPER AND OTHER TALES OF 
THE NIGHT”—THE BIGGER THE RISK, THE HOTTER 
THE SEX. MEMORABLE EROTIC ENCOUNTERS AS CON- 
FESSED TO MEN COLUMNIST ASA BABER 


PLUS: FASHION WITH A TWIST: BRITISH DESIGNER 
PAUL SMITH HAS A PASSION FOR THE OFFBEAT, BY 
HOLLIS WAYNE; MAKING A POWER PLAY FOR POWER 
BOATS—HOW TO PLAY WAVE JOCKEY ON THE BOUND- 
ING MAIN, FROM A 16-FOOT DONZI RUNABOUT TO 
AN ARONOW ALPHA 45; AND MUCH, MUCH MORE 


SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette 
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide. 


| а 


WTE pangs stent 


SOMEWHERE THERE'S 
APOOL OUT THERE WITH 
YOUR NAME ON IT. 


KING OF BEERSe 
Ф | Brewed by oe Өрім ptite from. the 

^ 4 | оа Hips. Rie and Gest Ai al ДА 
O Cee Да A — 


AND OURS TOO. 


Budweiser; Bud Light'and Bud Dryare merchandise. Beach towels, lounge 
giving away up to 100 in-ground Bud g яң chairs, pool rafts and more. Just 
Label swimming pools this su immer. , | look for our display wherever you 

And you could be one of the lucky B buy Budweiser, Bud Light and 
people who win one. oms ag A Bud Dry. Who knows? You 

You can also get all kinds ye | pues may end up making a big 
of other Budweiser label М d | E: Ж 7 а A splash with your friends. 


WHEN IT COMES TO STAYING COOL, NOTHING BEATS ABUD. 


elek | B P