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AYBOY

ENTERTAINMENT FOR MEN APRIL 1991 • $3.95

THE RAGING
TALENT OF
MARTIN
SCORSESE,
A PLAYBOY
INTERVIEW

STEVE MARTIN
— BY BRUCE
Mo — о JAY FRIEDMAN

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Atwhat point does a fender
go from Dion d lo a work of art?

The least you can ask from any motorcycle is that it works. It starts when you want it to. It takes you
where you want to go. It gets you back home again.

A Harley-Davidson: on the other hand, has to operate on a higher level. It has to reach deeper, to go
beyond nuts and bolts, metal and rubber. And so a fender cannot be assigned to the job of merely keeping what's
on the road, off of you. It has to appeal to your eye as well as your pant legs. You'll notice that the front fender of the
1991 Heritage Softail® Classic doesn’t look a whole lot different from the one on а 1949 Hydra Glide. It's not there
simply to pay homage to a day gone by. It's there because true style doesn't age.

Which is also why you don’t see the rear suspension. The shocks are mounted beneath the bike to
faithfully reproduce the profile of the classic hardtail. As it should be.

This is The Look. A motorcycle drawn in bold strokes. This experience is as close as your nearest
Harley-Davidson dealer. It may seem less a motorcycle showroom, than a gallery of two-wheeled sculpture.

And you might never look at a motorcycle the same way again.

Through and
Through.

€ 1090 Harley-Davidson. Inc. We care about you. Sign up for a Motorcycle Safety Foundation rider course today Ride with your headlight on and watch out for the other person. Always
wear a helmel, proper eyewear and protective clothing. Protect your privilege to ride by joining the American Motorcyclist Association.

19 EW THINGS WILL |

IF À——

Bugle Boy бо,

COLOGNE

мати vom the Academy Awards and а heavyweight-cham-
Pionship fight on tap, we don't think there could be a better
Playboy Interview subject than film director Martin Scorsese,
whose Raging Bull is widely considered the greatest fight
movie of all time. But then, nearly all of Scorsese's films have
devastating intentions. Contributing Editor David Rensin con-
fesses that "even though Scorsese was very casual and totally
unpretentious during our discussions, 1 couldn't escape the
feeling that I had been granted an audience. It was like being
in the presence of a very intense and committed priest. For
Scorsese, the craft of film making is almost like a religion."
(For a glimpse of Rensin's irreverent side, look for The Bob
Book, co-authored with Bill Zehme, duc from Dell in June.)

As you probably know, idate film
Good Fellas is based on the book Wiseguy, which is in turn based
on the life of a lower-echelon Mafia hood turned informer
named Henry Hill. Hill went into the Government's Witnes:
curity Program, the subject of T. J. English's hard and skeptical
examination The Wiseguy Next Door. English's book The Westies,
about the rise and fall of an Irish mob in New York, was just
published in paperback by St. Martin's Press.

A wise guy much more to our liking is Steve Martin, arguably
the greatest comic sensibility since Choplin. Bruce Jay Friedman,
no slouch himself when it comes to humor, gives the actor his
due in Steve Martin, National Treasure. Also this month, George
Foremon is in the final days of training for a championship
bout with Evander Halyfield—which. if he wins, could make him
the most revered 43-year-old athlete of 1991. Lowrence Linder-
mon visited Foreman at his training camp for 20 Questions and
ns those who'd bet against Mount Baldy, “He's not finely
e Holyfield, but when you see him up close, he's
not fat. He's just big, smart and, God, does he hit people.”

Tired of having feminist sand kicked in your face just be-
cause you're a man? Our Men columnist and Contributing
Editor Asa Baber participated in a revolutionary approach to
selfempowerment called The New Warrior Training Adven-
ture and came away transformed. "It's about sharing our
bond as a tribe, the tribe of men," says Baber, “and it's one of
the best things 1 ever did." He shares his experience in Call of
the Wild, illustrated by Kinuko Y. Craft.

We know you'll feel good about our two special pictorials,
Women of the Women's Colleges and Give Us a Break!, both pho-
tographed by Contributing Photographer David Chan, with
help from Arny Freytag, David Mecey and James Schnepf. And if
you're our typical reader in his early 30s with a good job and
an established career, you may be surprised to learn how
many college-aged (or younger) women think you're cute,
too. Or maybe you're not surprised, because you're already
dating one. David Seeley knows just who you are and what
you're going through—and reveals all in The Fine Art of Poach-
ing, illustrated by Alan Reingold. In Playboy's Automotive Report,
Ken Grass describes a different sort of sleek, streamlined beau-
ty and gives the low-down on all the latest cars. To round
out the issue, West Coast Editor Stephen Rendall tells a bitter-
sweet story of two kinds of death in Uncle Andy Gee's Farewell
Show (illustrated by prize-winning Lithuanian-born Stesys Ei-
drigevidus), and Robert Scheer, in his Reporter's Notebook, asks
why we've risked so much in Saudi Arabia and still can't sing
Christmas carols there. Maybe we should object to other prz
tices from the Dark Ages, such as the Saudi ban on women
drivers. In the spirit of modernism, and to show our Arab
friends just what they're missing, we present our first Saudi-
American Playmate, Christina Leordini. Now, there's something
worth fighting for.

PLAYBILL

RENSIN

FRIEDMAN LINDE RUAN

BABER

SEELEY

GROSS RANDALL EIDRIGEVICIUS

Playboy (ISSN 0032-1478), April 1991, volume 38, m
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Illi
Subscriptions: in the U

mher 4. Published monthly by Playboy in n.
nois 60611. Second<lass postage paid at Chicago, Illinois
$29.97 for 12 issues. Postmaster: Send address ch

nd regional editions, Playboy, 680
d at additi offi
ge to Playboy, PO. Box 2007, Harlan, lowa 51537

PLAYBOY.

vol. 38, no. 4—april 1991 CONTENTS FOR THE MEN'S ENTERTAINMENT MAGAZINE
¡PLAYBIL лел "ҮТҮКТҮ. E 5
DEAR PLAYBOY... . Sati, * €: €——————Ó 11
PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS ....... Spee Sea a O 15
MEN... Pei TIE S . ASA BABER 34
WOMEN А aa ... CYNTHIA HEIMEL 36
THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR 5:35 —€— s TE Women's Colleges cred
THE PLAYBOY FORUM..................- 45
REPORTER'S NOTEBOOK: 3 “у
LET'S HEAR IT FOR MARIE ОЅМОМО—оріпіоп........ - ROBERT SCHEER 55
PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: MARTIN SCORSESE—candid conversation 57 m , P"
THE WISEGUY NEXT DOOR—article A š T. J. ENGLISH 74 p \ "
GIVE US A BREAK!—pictorial................ Р METER о Эй \
THE FINE ART OF POACHING—article .......................... DAVID SEELEY 86 Ma i»
SPRING AND SUMMER FASHION FORECAST—fashion .........,. HOLLIS WAYNE 90
CALL OF THE WILD—article Pa vestes. ТАША BABER: ê
U.S.-SAUDI SWEETHEART—playboy’s playmate of the month 102
PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES—humor ا‎ 7 ————Ó" 114
UNCLE ANDY GEE'S FAREWELL SHOW-—fiction .............. STEPHEN RANDALL 116 Calling Christina.
20 QUESTIONS: GEORGE FOREMAN . . : F mo МВ
PLAYBOY'S AUTOMOTIVE REPORT—article ........... .....KEN GROSS 120
PLAYBOY COLLECTION —modern living 124
STEVE MARTIN, NATIONAL TREASURE—playboy profile ... BRUCE JAY FRIEDMAN 128
WOMEN OF THE WOMEN'S COLLEGES—pictorial............. see B 132
PLAYBOY ON THE SCENE А : : 169 Fashion Forecast

COVER STORY

Morch Ploymate Julie Clarke rolls onto our cover produced by Associ-
ote Photo Editor Jim Lorson, styled by Lee Ann Perry and shot by Con-
tributing Photographer Stephen Wayda. Thanks to John Victor for
Julie's ar Pot Tomlinson for her make-up опа Daffy Waterwear of
L.A. for her swimwear. Jewelry from Loke Effect, sports equipment
from Turin Bicycle and shades from SunVision. The Rabbit ties one on

GENERAL OFFICES PLAYBOY. 890 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE. CHICAGO ILLINOIS ОЕП PLAYBOY

S NO RESPONSIBILITY TO RETURN UNSOLICITED EDITORIAL OR GRAPH MATERIAL ALL RICHTEN LETTERS

(BI NECEY (2) к 83 CHAN (9 MECEY. SCHNEPF (2) P Da CHAN MOORE (2) SCHNEPE iai P GS CHAN PP 72-72 CONWAY i2) Р FA RICHARD FEGLEY. DAVE JORDAND P 128 GLASSWEAR BY COMSTOFLE P 08 SHOT
WIDENER. F 46 ELVIRA REGINE. P 48 T P MOYNIMAN.P SI EVERETT PECK, P 32 KEVIN POPE. P 172 STEVE BOSWICH. P 173 JOHN SCHMELZER, GOO Т ЕЛУ /HUNGRY DOG STUDIOS P 174 GUY BILLOUT MEL OGO
BINOIN CARO BETWEEN PAGES 32-33 IN ALL DOMESTIC NEWS AND SUBSCRIPTION COPES COYOTE INSERT BETWEEN PAGES 154.155 IN ARIZONA AND NEW MEXICO NEWSSTAND ANO SUBSCRIPTION COMES.

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PLAYBOY

HUGH м. HEFNER
editor-in-chief

ARTHUR KRETCHMER editorial director
JONATHAN BLACK managing editor
TOM STAEBLER ari director
GARY COLE photography director

EDITORIAL

ARTICLES: jonx izek editor;
senior editor: FICTION: ALICE к. TURNER edilor
MODERN LIVING: DAVID STEVENS senior edi-
lor; ED WALKER associate edilor; BETH TOMKIW ах
sistant editor; FORUM: KNIE NOLAN associate
editor; WEST COAST: SIEMIEN RANDALL, editor
STAFF: corvos EDEREN senior edilo; JAMES к.
PETERSEN senior staff wriler; BRUCE KLUGER. RAR
mara NELLIS associate editors; [MIN USK traffic
coordinator; FASHION: nonus WAYNE edil
VIVIAN COLON assistant editor; CARTOON
suchen URRY editor; COPY: ARLENE BOURAS
editor: LAURIE ROGERS assistant editor: MARY лох
senior researcher; LEE BRAUER, CAROLYN BROWNE
JACKIE CAREY. REMA SMITH. researchers; CON-
TRIBUTING EDITORS: aw BAUER. DENIS
BOYLES, KEVIN COOK, LAURENCE GONZALES:
LAWRENCE CHOMEL, CYNTHIA MEIMEI WILLIAM J
ELMER, WALTER LOWE JR, D. KEITH. MANO, JOE
MORGENSTERN, REG POTTERTON. DAVID RENSIN
RICHARD RHODES, DAVID SUEFE DAVID STANDISIL
MORGAN STRONG, BRUCE WILLIAMSON OMOTIES

ART
KERIG FORE managing director; BRUCK HANSEN.
CHET suski, LEN WILLIS senior directors; Enic
SHROPSHIRE associate director; KRISTIN KORIENEK
JOSEP PACZER assistant direciors; KELLY O'BRIEN
junior director: ANN stmt. хто keyline and
puste-up artist; вид. BENWAY, PAUE CHAN art
assistants

PHOTOGRAPHY

MARILVY GRABOWSKI est roast editor; JEFF COREN
managing editor: LINDA KENNEN Им LARSON
MICHAEL ANN SULLIVAN associale editors; NITY
BEAUDED assistant editorjentertaimment; vowreo
rosar лето» staff photographer; STEVE CONWAY
assistant photographer; owib CMAN. RICHARD:
FECAEY. ARMY FREYTAG. RICHARD IZU, DAVID MECEY
BYRON NEWMAN, STEPHEN Wana contributing pho-
tographers; stite weis stylist; STEVE LEN
color lab supervisor

MICHAEL PERLAS publisher
JAMES SPANFELLER associate publisher

PRODUCTION
jonx masiko director; MARIA махак manager:
RITA JOHNSON assistant manager; JODY JURGETO.
RICHARD QUARTAROLI. CARRIE HOCKNEY assislanls

CIRCULATION
Barna ra GUTMAN subscription circulation director
ERT ODONNELA. mail marketing and. sales
dor: CINDY RAKOWTTZ. Communications director

ADVERTISING
JEFFREY D. MORGAN national sales director; sus
DIRECTORS: ROBERT MCLEAN mest coast, STEVE M
NER midwest, PALL TURCOTTE new york

READER SERVICE
LINDA STROM. MIKE OSTROWSKI correspondents

ADMINISTRATIVE
EILEEN KENT editorial services manager; MARCIA
TERRONES rights & permissions administrator

PLAYBOY ENTERPRISES, INC.
cesti iras chairman, chief executive officer

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DEAR PLAYBOY

ADDRESS DEAR PLAYBOY
PLAYBDY MAGAZINE
(688 NORTH LAKE SHORE DRIVE
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS 60611

IACOCCA

The Playboy Interview with Lee Гасосса
in your January issue is wide-ranging
and perceptive. Even so, 1 am writing to
emphasize an important lesson from the
Chrysler bail-out. Although it assur-
ing for Americans t0 believe that
Chrysler has "made it,” the reality is
probably more troubling. Many of the
purported benefits of the bail-out, such
as saving jobs, have been accomplished
more eflectively by the building of new
plants by the Japanese in the United
States. In this zing too late
how special favor cost the taxpay-
ers billions, it mperative that we not
look on the Chrysler bail-out as a practi
cal solution to economic troubles. Just as
the savings-and-loan crisis is proving
the Government should not be in the
business of handing out special favors.

Elaine Mittleman

Falls Church, Virginia

prime example of why my Playboy sub-
scription has been continuous for many

is no other publication that gives the
ader this type of hard-hitung style
Your interviewer Peter Ross Range obvi-
ously did his homework
Perhaps mo other person dese

more credit than Iacocca for the fact that
bags and other safety devices are ma-
- factors in buyers choices among
1991 vehicles. Conversely, perhaps no
other person deserves more blame for
the delay in the implementation of air
bags, which were conc d tested in
the Fifties. For the credit, he deserves a
pat on the back. For the blame, he de-
serves a kick in the pants

Erwin L. Milne

Jellerson City, Missouri

What Chrysler has in its C.E.O. is a
in at $20,000,000.

What the U.S. has in Lee Tacocca
potential leader who is intelligent, expe

rienced and inherently honest. Iacocca
should be our next President

ischer

Maple Shade, New Jersey

It is amazing what the Ford Motor Car
Company does 10 people. Из founder,
Henry Ford, was a good mechanic with
an idea for mass production. His wealth
then turned him into an all-
knowing person, with notable nc
ing, not-knowing
Peace Ship or
Semitism.

Now comes another Ford alumnus,
Lee lacocca, an excellent car salesman
and car conceiver, who with his wealth
has become all-secing and all-knowing.
How grateful we can all be that he
doesn't covet the White House. It isn't
big enough for that all-consuming ego.

"John W. Coe
Grosse Pointe Farms, Michigan

his

Lee Тасосса, in your Jan
iew, revealed that he is full of
misinformation and delusions—but he is
right about one thing: The US. needs
an industrial policy. The Japanese are,
пасей. robbing you blind, and without
Government-sponsored consortia, not
only will you never really get back on
your feet, you'll also never have the
money to solve environmental problems.

Pierre Mihok

Don Mills, Ontario

ABORTION RIGHTS

write
Ch
ized abortion becomes restricted, men
should be sterilized when they fall be-
hind in child-support payments. Lasch
asks how male activists would. respond
and she deserves an answer.

As do most prominent feminists, Pritt
totally misunderstands the dynamics be-
hind sexism, Should women lose access
10 legal abortions, they would have to

PLAYBOY'S
SPRING BREAK

1991

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PLAYBOY

mths before exercising their
right to terminate parental obligations
Tf Priu truly wants n to "suller^ from
equal treatment, then she should intro-
duce a bill that would place a n
month limit on support obligations whi
children are conceived. accidentally. As
with maternal obligations, anything be-
yond that should be voluntary.

We legalized abortion because telling
women to “be more carefu is nota
good enough option. ‘Telling men to
“be more careful” isn't, either

Fredric Hayw |, Executive Director
Men's Rights, Inc
Sacramento, California

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Thanks for standing up for my sexual
frcedom! Any man who thinks that abor-
on rights don't concern him is fooling
himsell. Maybe now the militant femi-
nists will stop referring to Playboy as a
sexist magazine, (I prefer to call myself
an equalist.) My boyfriend and 1 both
want to thank you for the great articles
and photos. Keep up the good work!
Michele Smith
Muncie, Indiana

“COMING OUT RIGHT”

Robert Scheers Reporters Notebook,
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gay people that we have
п, to see published in other
national magazines. It takes gay people
seriously as people and intelligently ex-
plores the ways in which our fight with
homophobia is a fight against others’ op-
pressive and inwusive "morality" As
such, it is a fight whose outcome has im-
plications for
fact that a
tiresome, concealed gay baiting found in
most pieces on gay people appears in a
magazine so explicitly “het” is a pleasant
surprise. But then, you may be surprised
to find that gay people read Playboy. 1
borrow it from a friend of mine (also
gay), and we get a lot of laughs out of
our reading it "just Гог the articles—no.
really!” Thanks.

Steven Homer
Chicago, Illinois

GREAT FICTION
Iremendous short stories from John
Updike (Aperto e Cliuso) and Margaret
Atwood (The Bog Man) in your January
issue. Keep the great fiction coming.
Jeremy Herda
Spokane, Washington

CALL OF THE OPEN ROAD

Hey, guys, what gives?

Regarding Call of the Open Road, by
Ken Gross, in your January issue, the se-
lections of Lyn St. James, one of your
judges, reveal a disturbing pattern
Door Sedan Over
ontinental. Sharpest
Four-Door Sedan Under 520,000: Ford
Escort GT. Most Improved Old Model
Lincoln Town Car. Sexiest Car for Your
Ifriend (Boyfriend): ncoln Conti-
nental. Most Fun to Drive: Escort GT
The ultimate insult had to be the Ulti-
mate Convertible: Mercury Capri!

It is unfortunate that St. James lends a
stink of company bias to an otherwise
fine article. It is obvious who signs her
pay checks

William

St. Louis, Missouri

St. James replies: “1 didn't approach the as-

signment with a bias. Granted, because of my

association with Ford, I'm more intimately fa-

miliar with Ford vehicles, but my selections
were my honest opinion in each category.”

rey

HERE'S LOOKING AT YOU
Here's Looking al You, in the January is
sue, is the most startling, brilliant display
of photog er had the pure
joy to see wton is, without
ius, Eve
€ new meanings
the pictures re
guely disquieting
Jack K, Howard
Tucson, Arizona

question, a € time I

look at his pictures, 1 s
new conceptions. Yet
main mysteries,

Thank you for publishing the superb
black-and-white portfolio by Helmut
Newton. He is a master photographer

It's time

The Reebok Running Collection. .

' IN " :

to play.

Reebok Spring 1991 Collection.

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It's time to play;

who continues to
into the exc
turbing—borderlands of human erotic
consciousness

ke his photography

Lou Varriechio HI
Middlebury

JAZZ AND ROCK

1 enjoyed Playboy's History of J
Rock, by David Standish (Janu:
wrong about one thing, however
Armstrong wasn't born in 1900. He was
born on August 4, 1901. We now know
this because Tad Jones finally looked up
his baptismal record a couple of years
ago.

Authentic jazz, by the way, is an en-
semble music. It makes no difference
how improvisational the music is, or how
talented the soloists; if it's not ensemble,
it's not jazz! The early music has a more
valid claim to the label than any of the
bastard offshoots, no mater how won-
derful these may be.

Mike Jolley
New Orleans, Louisiana

“FEMALE-SENSITIVITY QUIZ”

Asa Baber, in his January Men column,
“The Female-Sensitivity Quiz.” appears
that a mans emotional
best cured by sexual
nd that a woman's prima-

ionship is to provide tha
atification. Baber could have drawn

to suggest
wounds

are

tention to the fact that we have
s and feelings. Thanks for shoring
ge of men, Baber.
Aditya Bhatnagar
Syracuse, New York

moi

STACY ARTHUR
You have found heaven for me, but
she's married and lives in Ohio! Stacy

Arthur (Playboy, January) is your most

beautiful Playmate yet. She gets my vote

Louisville, Kentucky

LOVE DICKS
1 enjoyed your article Love Dicks, by
Pamela Marin (Playboy, January). As а
former background investigator, I am
especially interested in the computer da-
ta bases mentioned in the article. Where
сап 1 get the names, addresses and tele-
phone numbers ol some of these data
bases and computer networks?
Bill Bourquin
Redlands, California
Write to the National Association of Inves-
ligative Specialists, Inc, PO. Box 33244,
Austin, Texas 78764

KLIBAN

I share with you the sorrow of losing
Kliban, and while I thank you for the
tribute in the January issue, 1 must take
exception to the lines about how he hat-
ed letters from cat lovers. I wrote to him
three times ach time, he replied
swifily, with grace and humor. He even
sent me a personalized cat drawing!

The book Playboy's Klibans was pub-
lished in 1979. It's time for part two. By
the way, to seule a с

Mar Penner Griswold
Buffalo, New York
Thanks for the memory of Hap, Mar. His
last name is pronounced Klechan.

A good time was had by all.

By all the people who savored all the foods that were prepared with Tabasco*
brand pepper sauce. The chili for Monday Night Football. The scrambled eggs at
2:00 a.m. The post-volleyball pre-Trivial Pursuit pizza. The BLT for Sunday lunch.
It seems that almost anywhere there's food and Tabasco” pepper sauce, there
are people having a good time. Perhaps it's time for you to put a bottle of Tabasco"
sauce on your table. And, as the saying goes, let the good times roll.

The lively taste of Tabasco" sauce.

" 7 (©1991. TABASCO is а registered trademark of McIlhenny Company.
For the recipes of Walter Mcllhennyin "A Gentleman's Guide to Memorable Hospitality,” send $3.25 to Mclihenny Co., Dept. GG, Avery Island, Louisiana 70513.

Don'tkeepit bottled up.

e$.

We Thought It Was Impossible To Make A Clarion Car CD System Skip.
Until We Mixed Paint With It.

y
N

~ Agood many imm canoffer owning a Clan Ї conquer the Red Demon paint shaker.
you acar CD system that doesn skip. - vibration. Which just proves a point. Whi
~ Until you leave your driveway. other high-epd'car CD units, ours wemay make the most s
That’s when potholes, kon bumps — wereunsurgdssedinstockabsoption. — car CD systems on the ı
and foul roads come into play. 3 at we didn’t _ there alw
Along with sl
Which is why

PLAYBOY AFTER HOURS

PUMPING KARMA

While most folks head for the gym aft-
er a hard day's work, enlightened New
Agers in Los Angeles flock to the Altered
States MindGym in West Hollywood to
give their karmas and chakras a work-
In the Fighties, Altered States was
the place to get mellow in Samadhi Flota-
tion Tanks, buoyed by warm salty water
deprived of sound and light. Now, the
MindGym has stepped into the Nineties
by relocating to a more opulent setting
on Santa Monica Boulevard and adding
a line of New Age technotoys for the
brain.

The Star Chamber is a meditation
booth that zooms its occupant into an
open-eyed dreamlike state, with a com-
bination of blinking lights, music or
tapes and lots of mirrors—about 900 of
them. Be comfortable with yourself be-
fore embarking on this trip.

Since we were really stressed out when
we visited, we snapped on a pair of In
ner Quest HE glasses and headphones.
The goggles flashing lights and pulsing
New Age music transported us from an
overwrought beta state through the re
laxed alpha state and into the creative
theta state. We followed with a session
on the machine, whose
kinesthetic waves ol music poured into
our brain and pulsed through our back
and kidneys

Trying other
-Courier,

out

light and sound de-
Mind's Eye, Inner Vi-
sion and D.A.V.1.D. Paradise—we either
fell asleep or slipped into a deeply medi
tative delta state. A cup of collee helped
return us from the ozone. Less soothing
was the Potentializer, which slowly ro-
rates its passenger in a motion designed
to replicate that of a child being rocked
by his mother but made us slightly
queasy

Back on the freeway, we were much
too mellow to cope with the traffic. That
is, until some creep from the Valley
cut us off No i ixation
comes easy.

vices.

one

NOW BATTING ALBERT
SCHWEITZER?

What do Eddie Murphy, John Ken-
nedy, Mike Tyson and George Burns
have in common? They all played major
league baseball—at least according to
baseball writers James and Alan Kauf-
man, two sultans of stats who've found
some familiar among M.L.B.'s
roster of players. Among the notables:

Albert C. Schweitzer: nicknamed
Cheese. Was not famous missionary/No-
bel Peace Prize winner but batted near
300 in 1908 and stole 26 bases in 1910.

Eddie Murphy: baued .287, played
for three teams from 1912 to 1926. Actu

names

ally had major-league colleague named
Bill Murray

John Kennedy: shared ].F.K.'s birth-
day (May 29), debuted in 1962 and
cracked а homer in his first at-bat for
(who else?) the Washington Senators.

Mike Tyson: KO'd 27 career homers
as infielder for Cardinals and Cubs

George Burns: batted .287 during a
15-year career, which ended i

ILLUSTRATION BY PATER SATO

Led the National League five times in
runs scored

George Burns (another one): batted a
crisp .307 lifetime and turned out an
M.V.P season in 1926, when he hit .358
with 64 doubles for Cleveland
mmy Stewart: finished career with
paltry 937 average; nonetheless, turned
out starring performances in every field
position but pitcher

George C. Scott: earned American
League home-run crown in 1975 with
36 and retired in 1979 with 271 lifetime
four-baggers.

Tip O'Neill: led the American Associ-
n with a 435 average in 1887.

Here are our choices for a dream
team: Infiell—Tom Jones (1B). Don
Johnson (2B), Jim Morrison (3B), John
Houseman (SS) and "Buck" Rodgers
(©); Outfield—Gary Cooper, William
Holden and John Glenn; Pitching—Ken-
ny Rogers, Timothy Leary and Kaiser
Wilhelm; as the designated hitter, Danny
Thomas. And who says baseball isn’t all
about star power?

THE BELLES OF ST. MARK'S

Picture two Parisian cancan dancers in
corsets and flouncy dresses, color them
with New Wave make-up and supply
them with dirty minds. The result?
Snooky and Tish Bellomo, gorgeous sis-
ters who reign as the queens of St
Mark’s Place in New York's East Village
By day, you'll find them tending shop at
Manic Panic (“the oldest punk depart-
ment store in the world”).

But it's their nighttime antics that seal-
ly make our Mohawk stand on end: Al-
though they seldom appear under the
same name twice, the Bellomo sisters
have a night-club act that’s fast becoming
legendary. Their aliases, like most of
their clothes, are transparent, and their
various personae are, to say the least,
bizarre When they're the Creamtones,
Snooky and Tish sing their original ro-
mantic ballad, If Lowe Came Wrapped in
Cellophane, then offer up a sensitive read-
ing of Bull Moose Jackson's Big Ten Inch
Record. As the reptilian Creamatelli
Brothers— Vito and Tony—they employ

A TRAVEL UPDATE
FROM SAUDI ARABIA

To the Editor:

L read your December article Not
Home for the Holidays on places to go
10 get away [rom all the Chrisumas
hype. John Rezek has left out a
place Iam familiar with and can rec-
ommend.

The eastern province of the king-
dom of Saudi Arabia is Ihe place to
be for those who wish to absent
themselves from the American ways
of celebrating the holidays. You will
find many local customs and activi-
ties that will let your mind relax and
your body harden.

First, you land in Dhahran after a
20-hour flight, joining the rest of
the passengers in the terminal to
stroll with your carıy-on baggage (1
chose an MIGA2 with an M203
40mm grenade launcher attached
and a Colt 45 MI9IIAI for a
sidearm) to the holding area, where
you will catch your bus. If you are
lucky, you will be selected for the
quaint local custom of offloading
the luggage [rom the 747.

¥ air-conditioned bus will take
you to the port of Dammam, where
you will stay either in dirt-floored
tents or on asphalt, providing your
own shelter from the sun.

And every day is sunny, old Sol
ising swollen and red at 6:30 лм
and setting at 5:30 est. during most
of December and January. The dai-
ly temperatures range from about
80 degrees Fahrenheit in the day to
40 degrees Fahrenheit or below at
night. You will be constantly re-
freshed by the omnipresent breeze.

After your custom R.V.s arrive by
ship, you and your fellow vacation-
ers will convoy out onto the beach,
be it waditional sand or the less con-
ventional gravel. When you reach
your vacation site, your days will be
occupied in many ways. Each day
will see you rising before the sun,
and some nights you may find your-
self not going to sleep at all. Activi-
ties include, but are not limited to,
digging numerous holes in shifüng
sand or ground composed almost
entirely of gypsum crystal, setting
up tents and shade nets, cleaning
your weapons, cleaning the bathing
areas, burning feces with di
fuel, cleaning your weapon:
tenancing your R.Vs, standing
around in heavy genuine military

gear while keeping a lookout for
“the enemy" and cleaning your
weapons.

Meals come three times cach

day, sometimes hot, sometimes an
M.R.E., or Meal Ready to . The
hot meals are limited in variety only
by the imagination of the chefs.
Breakfast will always be square
eggs and ham, plus whatever other
ation got dumped into the pot.
Dinner is anyone's guess, but bring
your appetite—its the best spice
there is!
M.R.E.s are self-contained and
‘ature entrees such as chicken à la
king, dehydrated beef patty and
diced turkey with gravy In each
M.R.E. are also nutritious crackers,
three types of beverage powders, a
spread for the crack
dehydrated fruit. Different M.R.E
have special items in them, my per-
sonal favorite being an oat product
remarkably like a whetstone.

Local native activities for the holi-
days include nothing, for the gov-
ernment has outlawed all religions
except the Moslem faith. You may
celebrate in your own way, of
course, with whatever items you
may have brought from home or
had mailed to you, as long as they
do not contain alcohol or cannot be
in any way construed to be porno-
graphic—items such as uncensored
copies of Playboy magazine. Damn.
inally, travelers must be aware
that they will be here for several
months at the least should they de-
cide to sign up for the tour, which is
the only way one may visit short of.
obtaining an official royal Saudi in-
vitation.

Cost is not a concern; the tour will
actually pay you for your time. You
will go back home (maybe) in eight
months to a year pounds lighter,
with firmer muscles and several
thousands of dollars in your bank
account, provided no one has spent
it for you.

Always glad to help out fellow
Americans in search of a holiday
destination guaranteed to be [ar
from the beaten path.

Sgt. Ed A, Taylor

411th MP Co 720th MP Bn
89th MP Bde

APO New York,

New York

three washcloths cach (for crotch
stuffing) and pencil-thin mustaches (for
sleazy authenticity), then bel out campy
hits such as Tom Jones's She's a Lady and
Young Girl, by Gary Puckett and the
Union Gap. “I don’t know which one of
us I hate more,” Tish says in her own
brutally honest critique of the Crea-
matellis’ groin-grabbing moves, "Vi
Tony or both.” And in their la
nation (for a hastily planned Hawaiian
night at a local club), they swiveled their
hips as the Wicked Wahini Sisters from
the Island of Lackanooki. Their sign
ture song was Kamannawannalei-a

If you missed the twins at your local
cabaret, you may have caught them
singing backup for Blondie, or appear
ing in bit movie parts. Snooky gave a jail-
bird a blow job in the prison scene of
GoodFellas. (“That was my head, all
right,” she cracks.) And Tish, in the same
film, administered a hand job under a
guy's coat. “But they cut the scene,” she
says ruefully, “We actually used a pep-
1 guess the appearance оГа penis
would have changed the rating,

DRIVE, HE SAID

Art Sellinger, golf strong ma
the ball so hard you h pect it to
crumble, Owner of the world record for
clubhead speed at 158 miles per hour
(average players swing ihe club at about
80 miles per), Sellinger also drives long
A few years ago in Dallas, he rocketed a
ball 445 yards, the equivalent of two.
good shots lor anyone else

Alter winning the 1986 National Long
Driving Championship. Sellinger lined
up sponsors (Taylor Made golf clubs,
Sandvik titanium shafts, Ram golf balls),
developed a how-to-golf act (his favorite
one-liner: “My advice is to swing hard—
it”) and took it to the fair-
ways as a one-man exhibi

In a typical show, the 6
Sellinger, who resembles a football line-
rons about 300

strokes

Fes

whacks some one
yards, pulverizes a putter almost that far
nd drills some drivers about 350, He
hits a ball, still in its wrapper and card-
board box, about 100 yards. Then the
big finish: He rifles a ball through a
sheet of half-inch plywood and апо
through the 317-page Moses Lake,
Washington, phone book. Splinters and
paper All the air like confetti. “Some of
the other guys"—there are perhaps five
full-time long-drive exhibitionists— cut
out some of the pages in the middle of
the phone book or just use qu
three-eighth-inch plywood." says Sell-
inger with a snill
Want to hit it li
videos,”

ter- or

Art? “Buy my
he advises, “attend one of my
exhibitions or change to my sponsors
clubs, shalis and balls.” Now, there's one
man who pitches as hard as he hits.

Rick Ireton rode a wave
all the way to the bank.

He also prefers ni O
Christian Brothers Brandy

Founder. Surf Foto! Vista,CA.
"Wave sculptures for
fantasy picture taking.

the |
Chistian Brothers. |

Good old American know-how.

ROBERT CHRISTGAU

ON A BUCKS-PER-MINUTE basis, boxed CD sets
aren't as pricy as they seem, but you
must use your programing buttons. Few
album-era artists with three or four CDs
of good material on them just churned
out singles. So the sets have been rese-
quenced and baited with dubious ra
es, and the savvy listener
them to suit his own taste.

Frank Sinatra: The Capitol Years (Capitol)
and Frank Sinatra: The Reprise Collection
(Reprise) prove my point. Because Nel
son Riddle oversaw 57 of its 75 tunes,
the Capitol threef relatively cc
ent, but its intensity soars with every run
of songs from the likes of the Songs for
Swingin’ Lovers album and catchy singles
such as /. ad Hey! Jeal-
ous Lover sound out of place. When Sina
tra became his own boss at Reprise, the
concepts just kept on coming (an ins
depicts 98 LP covers). So with Riddle
contracted to Capitol at the outset, and
ranks voice going at the end, the 81-
с lour-disc Reprise set changes gears
constantly.

There are hours of great singing on
the tapes Tm making out of the two
boxed seis. Star of my repackage will be
Capitol's newly unearthed piano-acconi
panied rehearsal of One for My Baby.
Riddle earned his rep; but he neve
commanded an instrument a tenth as
expressive as his boss's voice.

arrange

sist

е and Marriage

son

NELSON GEORGE

Ihe first thing to be said about The
Marvin Gaye Collection (Motown), a lour
CD set ol music from this legendary la
bel’s most complex performer, is that it's
not an overview of his career. Yes, one
disc chronicles his top-20 pop hits, and
another one most of his masterful
recordings with Tammi Terrell (f. This
World Were Mine, You're All I Need to Get
By). But fans of Gaye's ambitious albums
of the Seventies and Eighties, classics
such as What's Going On? and Lets Get It
On, as well as the more problematic yet
fascinating Here, My Dear and In Our
Lifeline, will find them all given short
shrift. This package is not an adequate
substitute for the original albums.

Instead. ol updating and deepening
1971's Anthology, with its broad, overly
general survey оГ Gaye's career, the
package's compilers have used two of
the four CDs to focus on recently redis-
covered material that, depending on
your taste, either enriches one's under-
standing of Gaye's art or reveals interest-
ing. but not essential, oddities.

The collection's c disc is The Bal-
ladeer: 17 showbiz standards, many of

Boxed CD sets: resequenced rarities.

Ole Blue Eyes,
the Hendrix experience
and rare Marvin Gaye.

which Gaye tinkered with obsessively for
most of his adult life. Are these guud
records? Certainly. My te ás Гое
Grown Accustomed to Her Face. Do they
add to our appreciation of Gaye's gre:
ness? Only slightly. While his approach
to arranging these chestnuts is often
fresh, the over-all feeling of these
recordings is not as sensuous, as soulful
or as much fun as, say, Let's Get It On.

DAVE MARSH

A great boxed set ought to n ma
terial worth saving and savoring, be long
nough to justify its price and be pack-
aged with skill and attention to det
Beyond that, there are no rules. ИСА»
five-CD The Jelly Roll Morton Centennial is
of graphics, but the great jazz-p
is so lavish that yor
er miss them. The West German
Bear Family label's trimmings are always
deluxe, and on Webb Pierce: 1951-1958,
the four CDs, with 113 songs, are nearly
overwhelmed by the trashy beauty of the
box and the accompanying liner book-
let—if anything could overwhelm the
nasal perfection of There Stands the Glass
and is brethren. When you're. bored
with Robert Johnson. these are the
roots-music sets to turn to.

good boxed set can't be is a
hodgepodge cash-in excuse to ramm:

nev

The Jimi Hendrix Story (Reprise). which is

iot so much a boxed set as an expensive
ion of a syndicated radio biography
is great unreleased music here
and some of it as scary and as beautiful
as the best of Hendrix. But to get to it
you have to wade through pallid nar
tion and repetitious anecdotes. On the
last disc, pted 1969 Jimi
Hendrix Experience concert ought to have
leased separately, if only to rid it
Î ıhe odor of rip-off exuded by this
padded monster

n uninterr

been r

CHARLES M. YOUNG

Any series of albums titled Legends of
Guitar is necessarily going to be arbitrary
and subject to second-guessing. Rhino
Records, working in conjunction. with
Guitar Player magazine, has separated its

СОВ ЕНОТ

arver realizing. that the “Partridge
Family" ghost would shadow his legiti

mate musical abilities for years to come

actor/musician David Cassidy quil. the
business. Twelve years of acting and
songwriting followed, then he released
his eponymous debui on Enigma
Records. With critical plandits and a
hit single, “Lyin to Myself,” Cassidy
as now on a lengthy concert tour He
went into Indigo Girls latest LP. "No-
mads, Indians, Saints,” a skeplir—and
came out a believer.

I guess if you had to label Indi-
go Girls—and 1 hate labels—vou
could call them country/folk soul
sisters. Country/folk isn't a genre 1
listen to, yet Nomads, Indians, Sails
made me listen. In fact, it made
me sad. Amy Ray and Emily Sal-
s paint pictures with music and
especially with beautitul lyrics and
then put me in those pictures. Its
impossible to approach this record
analytically, It takes hold. of you
emotionally, takes vou somewhere
and guarantees a payoll at the
end. And, damn, what vocal blend
in those harmonies! What a terrific
surprise to love something when
you least expect to.

fashion and Jewelry by

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FAST TRACKS

R OCKMETER

Marvin =T
The Marvin Goye

The Capitol Years

SHAKE YOUR MONEYMAKER DEPARTMENT-
We have our doubts about the news
that MTV and MCA are working on a
rock theme park called Rockplex,
near the Universal Amphitheater in
The park is expected to include
a production studio, a restaurant, gift
shops and a record store. It's just
other move toward taking the light
and air out of rock and roll and tak-
ng it straight to the bottom line.
REELING AND ROCKING: Rock musician
bios vo be filmed this year will include
the lives of Otis Redding and the Bi
Bopper (who, along with Buddy Holly
and Ritchie Valens, was Killed in a 1959
plane crash). . . . Any day now, you
can see what Oliver Stone did with Jim
Morrison's story in Fhe Doors. Vel Kilmer
will sing in the movie, which will also
have Morrison's voice on the sound

wack. . . . Debbie Harry is appearing in
a psychological thriller called After
Midnight. - - - Concert promoter Bill

Graham will play gster Lucky lu-
dono in Warren Beatty's upcoming
movie about Bugsy Siegel. . . . Jody Wat-
tey will sing the theme song for the
new Blake Edwards movie, Suileh. . . .
Ray Sharkey will reprise his role in the
sequel to The Idolmaker, which was
loosely based on the life of Bob Moreue-
а, the guy who discovered Fabian and
Frankie Avalon.

NEWSBREAKS: Robert Palmer will soon
be touring a in a Forties-style
ge show. . The Who's John
Entwistle is putting together a super-
group to include Joe Walsh, Keith Emer-
son and Zak Starkey (Ringo's son). .
Rapper Kurtis Blow is working a
consultant to the ABC soap All My
Children. He's writing songs and ap-
proving club scenes. . . . How the
world has cha d: TV producer Zev
Braun is developi cries based

on the Dylan song Lily, Rosemary and
the Jack of Hearts (about two women in
love with the same man). And in an-
other strange bit of Dylan-related
news, Bob wrote one of the songs on
Paule Abdul's new album. . . . On the
pcoming tribute to tes Paul, look for
a song co-written and performed by
Iggy Pop and Slash. U2 is in Berlin
working on studio album number
seven, again produced by Daniel
Lanois. ... a Cal-
iornia high school is thinking of call-
ing itsell Frank Zappa High? But
Zappa's not impressed. "Considering
the sorry state of education in Califor-
nia, it would be more appropriate to
name a high school after Ronald Rea-
gan.” . . . George Lucas’ film company
made its first music video, for Dwight
Yookam, who describes it this way
very Felliniesque . . . like Mad Max
meets Paris, Texas and The Fwilight
Zone.” Yep, that’s what old Dwight
said. . . . David Lee Roth’s tour kicks oll
in the U.S. in April... . Number one
on my arrogance meter 15 Harry Con-
nick, Jr. A recent quote: “IF I played
rock and roll, Га be revered as the
greatest rock-and-roll musician in the
world. I's music that requires very
litle knowledge and not much tal-
ent Rock ¿3 Roll Confidential tells
that а Too Short
Washington State last fall required
fans under 18 to bring along either a
parent or a note from home. . . F
nally, for about $15,000, you could
have had a set of 100 posters from the
Sixties, including the first psychedelic
onc, lor a 1965 Charlatans concert.
The proprictor of a store in San Fr
ciscos Haight-Ashbury district was
the seller for an anonymous owner
In the Nineties, even nostalgia is ex-
pensive. BARBARA NELLIS

ap concert in

legends into five categories—Electric
Blues, Rock: The Fifties, Rock: The Sixties,
Jazz and Country. The selections add up
to a middle road between historical im-
portance and cool, even if history has ig-
nored them. On Rock: The Fifties. you'll
find the hugely influential Maybellene by
Chuck Berry, Mona by Bo Diddley. Rum-
Ме by Link Wray, among others, plus
Mammer- Jammer by Don £ Dewey. Don &
Dewey were extremely cool (try saving
“You got to do the Mammer-Jammer il
you want my love” on someone's answer-
ing machine). so l'm going to leave the
second-guessing to other critics and look
forward to future volumes for greater
inclusiveness. 1 also look forward to
more of Dan Forte's nifty and informa-
tive liner notes. Do you want this colle
tion? 1 say this: It will appeal to younger
guitar fanatics who have become ob-
sessed with finding out where all that
beautiful noise came from. It will appeal
to older guitar fanatics who want to fill
holes in their collections or stay awake
during long-distance driving. Most of
all, it will appeal to aspiring songwriters
looking for licks to recycle and claim as
their own. If you are not a fan of jazz and
country, you can safely skip those vol-
umes. The re

runs

gamur from

somewhat to massive fun.

VIC GARBARINI

Led Zeppelin (Atlantic), the four-CD.
boxed set, ollers 54 examples of how
brilliantly the Zep blended light and
shadow. There's Jimmy Page's acoustic
guitar crossed with crunchola riffs in
weird time signatures. Robert Plants
blissfully unhinged vocals, John Paul
Jones's misty orchestrations—all driven
home by John “Bonzo” Bonhan's awe-
some hammer and loot. The crystalline
remixes bufl-shine masterpieces such as
Whole Lotta Love while preserving thcir
The “new” material (three live
cks and a rare B side) showcases their
hybrid roots from Delta blues to Page's
Celtic-raga excursions. Isn't there more
of this live stuff in the v:
were weakest when they lost the nim-
ble/heavy balance and swung to either
extreme. Sadly, that stuff is overrepre-
sented here. Such gems as Good. Times,
Bad Times and Living Loving Maid go
missing in favor of carly acoustic fluff
and hall-baked metal grunge from their
later albums. Sull, a solid collection. Not
so the Layla Sessions: 20th Anniversory Edi-
tion (PolyGram), which relegates Derek
and the Dominoes’ masterpiece to high-
tech hell. Poor Jim Gordon's drums are
shoved into the background, while the
warmth and blend of Eric Clapton and
Duane Allman's dueling guitars are sur-
gically removed in favor of nice cold dig-
ital separation. No, thanks.

alts? These

Also available in
King Size Soft Back
and Box.

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Smoking
By Pregnant Women May Result in Fetal

Injury, Premature Birth, And Low Birth Weight.

By NEIL TESSER

You can point high and low to cultural
indices proving il
but ihe surest sign is at the Multiplex.
Jazz is back in American films, and, since
movies beget movie-sound-track al-
bums, even the cinematically illiterate
get to hear whats going on. The Hot Spot,
Dennis Hoppes film noir from last fall,
provides a noteworthy showcase f
Miles Davis: Ivs Davis first album in
three decades that's almost all blues. But
Kind oj Blue, his landmark sextet date
from 1959, painted its pictures in cool,
urbane colors. The Hot Spot (Antilles)
places those shades with the baked-
tones, dry guitar rifls and gritty voc
blues greats John Lee Hooker and Taj
Mahal, with Miles offering commentary
from the side lines. Wherever else his re-
ї music has led. Miles has continued
to include the blu his live perform-
сез, and such tunes have sparked his
most satisfying solos. This evocative (i
limited) album of scene setters
else of the legendary t
shows him off to great adv

Branford Marsalis is no st
the flicks, having already acted
ple (one of which also featured his m
i ag his

na cc

»rd lead-
ret, with
nchard

Ibum finds B
y his regular top-notch q
the redoubtable T
added on trumpet; his coge

ıs, along with the enforced brevity o
the tracks, prove an effective

counter-

weight to the lengthy and some
dulgent solos that characterize Marsa

other recent record!

Branford's little brother Wynton has
(literally) scored a success with his ster-
ng Tune In Tomorrow (Columbia), which
includes 65 minutes of music from the
critically fantasy
ng Peter E nd
bara Hershey. Set in the Marsalises’
home town ol New Orleans, the film
prov icle for the prodi-
gal irumpeter's first sound track: It al-
lows him to further explore the. New
Orleans ensemble style at the heart of
his excellent young septet (show
pianist Marcus Roberts). Marsalis
ments his band with veter
men and orgai
achieves
that sends the album over the top.

As it turns out, the Marsalises and
Miles Davis have more in common than
the current cinema: each of them enno-
bles a different song on the splendid

Jazz goes mainstream.

Jazz: eclectic, top-selling
jazz blues and
free excursion.

album by vocalist

Shirley Horn.

new pianist. and
ome singers knock you
bowl vou over and leave you for
ad; Horn sings bittersweet kisses tl
walt their way to intimate targets. Per
haps her best album yet, You Won't Forget
Me (Verve) makes good on its tlle, with
one indelible performance after another.
les the repertoire between fa-
ls and little-known gems,
and she fills cach one with an appropri

ate blend of fragile resilience.

At the other end. of the spectrum,
keyboardist (composer?
andleader self-professed space
traveler—has re-entered planetary con-

sciousness with Purple Night (A&M). On
last

his album, Sun Каз 19-piece
Arke: proved disappointingly tame;
its new outing gets a little closer to the
cosmic bone, especially on a roiling, 19-
minute free-jazz excursion to the outer
More firmly rooted on terra
but just as iconoclastic, is the I1-
piece band in Boston called the Fi
ther/Orchestra. The Half-Life of Desire
Accurate), its third album, includes
shades of Mingus, tunes from the Miles
Davis and King Crimson(!) songbooks
nd а hallucinatory fantasy on the Kitsch
classic Temptation. Once you've heard
these big bands, B. Goodman will
never sound the s;

Even if you put both those bands to-
gether, though, you'd have fewer mu
cians than Dave Brubeck employed о
New Wine (MusicMasters): It docume!

the appearance of his quartet with a 60-
piece symphony orchestra at the 1987
Montreal Jazz Festival. Such projects can
often turn into either bad jazz or bad
Bach. But most of this c
musi
since Brubeck moves easily in both
worlds (three of the pieces on New Wine
are dra Has and an oratorio
that he composed); in addition, the solos
of clarinetist Bill Smith reflect his own
ound as a symphonic compose

You'll get a strikingly different take on
“jazz with strings” from the iconoclas-
tic String Trio of New York (violin
i les Burnham. guitarist. James
and bassist John Lindberg).
They're among the most focused of
avant-garde improvisers, and Ascendant
(Srash) is their most accessible album.
Applying their unusual instrumentation
to tunes by Chick Corea. Monk and
Mingus, and Jimi Hendrix. the S Л.У.
iquely reconsiders the familiar

Brazil continues to inspire American
jazz musici
crested the waves of bos:
Rhythmstick, Iu

as it has since Stan Gerz
nova in 106
the homem
Dizzy
bi

Gillespi
ih of the
It sports an
incluc
the u

uses in cd

long-doi
eclectic
Gillespie

of mus ib,

(who pk
thythms ina
and Bob Berg.
id pereu:
galore in a Brazilian/Mvo-Cavibbean
stew that’s tough 10 resist. From Brazil
proper. by way of Timeless Records in
Holland, comes Luz Neon, by the leg-

ican

endary Len who, unlike
many of the great Brazilian vocalists. is a
gen he new beat

and great scat solo she b
in Tunisia.) And althou

singe h McCorkle h

North ifornia, her Portuguese ac-
cent—along with her musical interpre-
tation—finds the target on Sabia

(Concord), a collection of mostly classic
Brazilian songs.

Finally, here's a short list of recom-
mendations: Stan Getzs Billy Highstreet

Samba (EmArcy), a 1981 eleciro-Brazil-
ian date that went unreleased tor ni
years and is worth the wai
Walter Norris
at Maybeck Recital Hall (С

solo pianist
imaginative concert Live
;oncord): Roots Re-
visited (Verve). the top-selling jazz-blues
set by James Brown's straw boss, alto
axist Maceo Parker; the three volumes
(sold separately) chronicling tenor saxist
Dexter Gordon's Nights at the Keystone
(Blue Note), drawn from Seventies,
club recordings: and Kenny Werner's
Uncovered Heart (Sunnyside), by one
of the most incisive composcr/pianists
working today.

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MOVIES

By BRUCE WILLIAMSON

A DEAEMUTE chambermaid ste: minia-
ture Henry Moore sculpture. from a
London hotel suite in Object of Beauty
(Avenue), setting off a chain of event
that almost bring back the good old days
of screwball comedy. There's a seriou
undertone, however, to the plight of
John Malkovich and Andie MacDowell.
While he is a far cry from the usual film
farceur, Malkovich has a take-charge air,
nd MacDowell seems on her way to be-
coming one of moviedom's most beguil-
ing comediennes. Together, they portray
an unmarried couple of ne'er-do-wells
stranded in luxurious digs with mount-
ng hotel bills after one of his dubious
nancial deals collapses. They're the sort
of people for whom living well is the best
revenge. When poverty looms, their re-
lationship begins to unravel, and each
believes the other has stolen the statue to
raise cash. He sleeps with her best frie!

the truth. Clearly. their moral codes are
pshod. Object may not mean

g more than meets the eye, bı
plays like a house afire—kept simmering
by British writer-director Michael Lind.

say-Hogg, who codirected TV's Brides-
head Revisited and knows a thing or two
about swank. УУУУ:
е

With a switch of roles that dr:
his amazing versatility, John M
in Queens Logic (New Line) says fi
ma Ee ual who c edo

7 He is just onc of a bunch of
dudes growing up—but. strug-
ng mighüly not to maturc New
York's borough. of Queens. Ken Olin,
Joe Mantegna, Kevin Bacon and Tony
Spiridakis (who wrote the эсте
are the str

matizes

would like to keep on
nges of their lives. Jamie Lee Ci
minor role in the piece, dir
by Steve Rash with a strong s
place. Even when the movie rambles, he
knows where irs coming from—from
Queens, with some sharp dialog and in-
digenous humor that consistently catch

the flavor ol urban malaise. УУУ
.
Some gigantic insects from the Brazil-
ian ssume human form

and take up residence in Ohio, wher
they are assigned to blow up a nuclear
power pla

gates (Triton), an outlandish but ofte
sidesplitting spoof of American consum-
erism directed by Michael Lehr
who did the subversive Healliers
authored this prank with a wag named
Redbeard Simmons. As Dick and Jane
Applegate, Ed Begley, Jr., and Stockar

Object's Malkovich, MacDowell

Malkovich switch-hits
in a double-header;
bugs bug Applegates.

Channing play
middlebrows, with
Cami Coop
fry. Of cout

high-camp American
Bobby Jacoby and
s their school-age small
o. the transformed bugs be-
. TV and other

» gets popped into
Applegates soon have
full. of emit Dabney
‚ mustache and all, plays a fe
iter bug named Aunt Bea
a clue that Lehmann occasionally
‚ blurring the line beiween
mere sappiness. Even so.
nadeap. mutan
dly swap ecological aware
ic, unrecyeled Americ

and
these Applegates are

satire

who po

If you can handle it,
Lambs (Orion) is a paralyzing suspense
drama, the kind of movie to watch by
pecking through your fingers. Director
Jon more often associated
with lightweight fare (Something Wild and
Married to the Mob), brings touches ol
k humor as well as cinematic style to
adaptation (by Ted Tally) of Thon
Harris' novel about the search for a ser
ller with a penchant for skinning h
victims. Jodie Foster expertly plays the
no-nons BI agent assigned to the
case, with Scott Glenn as her departiment
superior and Anthony Hopkins as Dr.
Lecter, the jailed psychopath who may
apply a key to the thi g of homicid:
maniacs. Hopkins infuses the Lecte

The Silence of the

character with icy menace (Brian Cox
played the same part in Manhunter, a
1986 movie adapted. from a previous
Harris novel). Brooke Smith, as the
issing girl the Killer has thrown into a
pit until he's ready for her, makes keep-
ing cool seem heroic. Audiences are like-
ly to sit tight, too, and gasp with relief
when it’s over. УУУУ

The subject ol Superstar: The Life and
Times of Andy Warhol (Aries) would proba-
bly have found the movie very much to
his taste as a cinematic memorial. Writ-
er-producer-director Chuck Workman
includes some telling interviews with
members of the deceased artists. en-
tourage and his list of famous cronies
(from Viva and Holly Woodlawn to writ-
er Fran Lebowitz, artist David Hockney
esses Liza Minnelli and Shel-
ters). Workman's feature-length
movie covers Warhol as a nervous, cre-
ative lad—born Pennsylvania of
Czech-immigrant parents—who ult
mately becomes the wealthy, remote, re
spected inventor of 15-minute celebrity
More th ny eminent New York icon

of our time, Warhol embodied the show-
tune catch phrase that if you can make
there, you can make it anywher

star is stylish pop-art biog
very little that’s new but su
extraordinary epoch, УУУ

» T
Portraying gr
of yesteryear is

tists and composers
tricky bu
casily
than

iness—s

Thanks to Judy Davis, ac-
tress with the magnetic intensity of an
old-time movie queen in the Beuc Davis
old, Impromptu (Hemdale) stays pretty
"uch on track. Judy (no kin to Bette)
ys George Sand, the 19th Century
ench writer whose romantic flings
ed de Musset and Frédéric
layed, respectively, by Mandy
and Hugh Grant) burnished
her reputation as a woman of the world
"who wears men's clothes and leads the
most depraved life imaginable.” Not all
that depraved, but Davis keeps Impromptu
absorbing to watch, while Julian Sand
Ralph Brown and Bernadette Peters
h their paces as other
who often behave like
'owdy rock musicians. Di
Lapine ges not to
¡ote cinematically, eve
when С s down to play a piano
classic better known today as Im Always
Chasing Rambus. ¥¥'la
е

Remember the blacklisted Hollywood
Ten, those film makers of the сапу
Filties who were suspected of Commu-
hist sympathies? The infamous House

strike a

Bruce's bests: Robert or Robin.

BRUCE'S BETS

Emboldened by last vear's n
- picks (nam-
Best Actor and Best Actress)
alter bauing zero in 1989, Il uy
again. My predictions are
nest PICIUKE: Awakenings (GoodFel-
las, maybe, menaced by Dances with
Wolves).
nest bikECTOR: Penny Marshall for
Awakenings or Martin Scorsese Гот
Good Fellas.
NEST ACTRESS: Joanne Woodward for
Mr. and Mos. Bridge, but I like An-
jelica Huston.
BEST ACTOR: Robert De Niro or
Robin Williams, Awahenings
pese SUPPORTING actress: Whoopi
Goldberg for Ghost, and high time,
100.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Bruce Da
son for Longlime Companion.
.

Prizeworthiness aside, in alpha-
betical order, my own Ten Best
Alice. Mia Farrow and a sparkling:
cast glow in Woody Allen's in-
spired comedy
Avalon. Through the years with di-
rector Barry Levinson's kin.
Awakenings. Medical case history
played marvelously
Edward Scissorhands. Charming
fantasy directed by п Burton.
CoodFellas. Neck and neck with
Miller's Crossing, Scorsese's epic has
the edge.
The Grifters. Stephen (Dangerous
Liaisons) Frears docs it again—with
Anjelica Huston soari
Longtime Companion. So far, the
most touching movie about AIDS.
Metropolitan. Young New York
cial lions gored by their own Whi
Stillman.
Mr. and Mrs. Bridge. Prewar Mid-

nor success with O:

westerners made unforgetable by
Woodward and Newman.

Postcards from the Edge. Sweep.
MacLaine in a tour de force.

And the worst? Among them:
Bird on a Wire, The Bonfire of the
Vanities, Joe Versus the Volcano, The
Lemon Sisters, The Sheltering Sky.

Un-American Ac es Committee saw
to it that they didn't keep working
their trade. Guilty by Suspicion (Warner),
written and directed by Irwin Winkler, is
a somewhat belated lament for those bad
old days. with Robert De Niro in anoth-
er forceful, commanding performance
as a top Hollywood screenwriter who
can't decide what to do about na
names and ruining other people's lives.
Annette Bening plays his rueful ex-wife,
with a lot of other good actors exud
guilt. Some of them portray real people
of the time—Ben Piazza most prominent
as Darryl F. ick. seldom there when
the heat . Director Martin Scorsese
plays a film- aking liberal who flees to
than be compromised by
HUAC's Red-hunters, while Sam Wana-
maker (an actor-director famous in the
Fifties, who actually took refuge
Britain as an “uncooperative witness”)
plays a lawyer urging clients to spill the
guts. All in all, the Ene Martin Riu
writer Walter Bernstein (both pr
blacklisted) told it better circa 1976 in
The Front, with Woody Allen and Zero
Mostel. ¥¥¥

The meandering, unfocused Mister
Johnson (Avenue), directed by Bruce
] (his Driving Miss Daisy won last
ar for Best Picture), will stick
in your mind because of Maynard. Ezi-
ashi's powerful performance in the title
role. Set in British West Africa in the
Twenties and based on a novel by Joyce
Cary, the movie is a study in cultural
contrasts, setung Johnson, an Ab
who worships anything English, oll
inst two English colonial types (Ed-
ward Woodward and Pierce Brosnan)
Their dealings finally lead to tragedy. YV

Made in France, the strikingly original
La Femme Nikita (Goldwyn) has a pulsing,
ollbeat musical score and a to re-
member in Anne Parillaud. Literally
aising havoc in the title role. ill:
portrays a violent, amoral drug addict
and Killer, whose cohorts are shot dead
in the first reel She coldly murders a
cop, and is first condemned, then res-
cued by a secret government agency—
where a honcho named Bob (Tcheky
Karyo) trains Nikita as a professional as-
sassin on the far-right side of the law.
She initially resists, but finally obtains a
new identity and goes out into the world
to waste people on the goverr
list. Her life takes an unexpected turn
when she falls for a mild supermarket
check-out clerk (Jean-Hugues Anglade)
and begins to ask herself whether being
a licensed-to-Kill sexpor is really the way
to go. All of which threatens to turn ludi-
crous, but writer-director Luc. Besson
(married to his leading lady) gives the
film a kind of ruthless, surreal simplicity
Triggered by the hypnotic Parillaud.
cineasts of fou! Paris have been queuing,
up for months to eyeball Nikita УУУ

MOVIE SCORE CARD

capsule close-ups of current films
by bruce wilhamson

Alice (Reviewed 2/91) Mama Mia in
Manhattan. УУУУ
Awakenings (3/91) Another identity
crisis on the Marshall plan УУУУ
The Bonfire of the Vanities (3/01) A hot

property. but it fizzles Y
Cadence (Listed only) Sheen and sons
in cell game. P
Closet Land (Listed only) Acting exei
ise in a room with no view Wh
Cyrano de Bergerac (12/00) France's De-
pardieu wins by a nose. us
Dances with Wolves (2/91) Calendar art
by Соз h reservatic vv
Edward Scissorhonds (3/91) Tim Bur-
топу finc-cut E y upgraded. УУУУ
The End of Innocence (3/91) Dyan Can-
non takes us on a head trip. Wh

The Godfather Part MM (3/91) The first
two were far better,
Green Card (3/91) MacDowell meets
her match in a marriage of conven-
ience with Depardieu. wy
The Grifters (12/90) Frearsome
Guilty by Suspicion (See review) De Ni
locks horns with hysteria wy
3/91) A bit of Lethal Weapon tor
the Bard, starring Mel Gibson. ¥¥¥
Heaven and Earth (Listed only) Samu-
rai showdowns. vv
Impromptu (Sce review) George Sand,
Chopin and all that jazz PA
Iron & Silk (Listed only) To China with
love, and plenty of it. yv
La Femme Nikita (Sce review) She
wicked wonder woman. wy
Meet the Applegates (Scc review) An in-
sect comedy and no mistake. wy
Men of Respect (3/91) John Turturro as
the Macbeth of the Mafia Wh
Mr. and Mrs. Bridge (1/91) Revisiting
KC. with American Gothics. WU
Mister Johnson (Sce review) Man's in-
humanity, out of Africa. БЫ
Not Without My Daughter (3/01) Sally's
Field day as a hostage in Пап. YY
Object of Beauty (See w)
Malkovich and MacDowell go broke
in style wu
Once Around (3/91) Warm [amily come-
dy with Holly Hunter and Richard
Dreyfuss as a wonderfully mis-
matched couple. ww
Queens Logic (Scc review) Boys will be
boys, especially here yyy
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
(3/91) Shakespearean spoofery. ¥¥¥
The Silence of the Lambs (Sce iew)

Harrowing, hellish. Go for it. УУУУ
Superstar: The life and Times of Andy
Warhol (See review) Pop artlul. ¥¥¥
Yyvy Don't miss YY Worth a look

ЖУУ Good show Y Forget it

VIDEO

ШИШ

Classic vocalist

Johnny Mathis has

always had a jones

for classic movies,

/ but his video habit
A started by accident
when one of his tour

є » limos happened to be
equipped with a VCR.

"| began watching my favorites while driv-
ing around between concerts," he says.
Now he's hooked. "I run The Letter with

Bette Davis at least once a week. I've ac-
tually learned the dialog. And Davis' Dark
Victory cry every time!" Other manda-
tory rewinds on the crooner's list: The
Good Earth, Gone with the Wind, The
Naked Gun ("that one has the biggest
laugh"), Some Like It Hot and Casablanca.
What, no musicals? “Sure, Busby Berkeley
films and, of course, Jailhouse Rock. What
a presence Elvis had. | knew him real well.
Forget those slam biographies; he was a
super guy.” LAURA nssINCER

BRUCE ON VIDEO
our movie critic goes to the tape

Although springtime and the Acade-
my Awards usually coincide, Oscar sel-
dom shows up with a song in his heart.
Only seven times has the Best Picture
nod gone to a movie mi . They are:
The Broadway Melody (1929): The novelty
of sound probably made this a winner,
though the Melodys of 1936 (with
Eleanor Powell) and 1940 (Powell plus
Fred Astaire) are far better.

An American in Paris: This Gene Kelly gem
eclipsed both A Shvetear. Named. Desire.
. Produc-
shwin

and A Place in the Sun in 195
tion

splendor, plus a fine
ned Oscars head.

n and Maurice Cheva-
in the Man Jay Ler-

erick Loewe musical abour the

MET TAKES

Strangest How-to Video: Praying Mantis
Fundamentals, Wildest Ballroom Video:
Advanced Lion Dance; Kinkiest-Sounding
Instructional Video: Vibrations Work-
shop; Second-Kinkiest-Sounding In-
structional Video: Creative Rod Crafting;
Best Video Procrastination: Thinking
About Thinking; Worst l've-Got-an-Idea
Video: Climbing the World Trade Center;
Best Thrill-a-Minute Video: Exclusive
Lawns; Best It's-a-Living Video: Carve a
Ball and Claw Foot.

grooming of a young French girl. The
best of 1958 and a real charmer.

West Side Story: Who could resist this mu-
sical (lyrics by Stephen Sondheim, music
by Leonard Bernstein) version of Romeo
and Juliet revisited by dancing street
gangs in 19612 It took ten Oscars and
made history as musical drama with a
message.

My Fair Lady: Another Lerner-Loewe tri-
umph in 1064. Lronically, Audrey
Yt nominated, and Julie
sed by for the Lady role she
created. on stage) got the Oscar, any-
way—lor Mary Poppins.

The Sound of Music: Rodgers and Ham-
stein’s 1965 salute to the Von Trapp
si with Julie Andrews—again—
topping the sugary blockbuster hit. <
per scenic schmaltz.

Oliver! Carol Reed directed this. 1968
Dickens tuner, with Ron Moody as the
marvelous. Fagin, who teaches orphans
But David Lean's 1948 nonmu-
ring Alec Guinness, is still the
definitive Oliver Twist. —hnRUCE WILLIAMSON

VIDEO SIX-PACK

this month: behind the camera
Hedda Hopper's Hollywood: The
columnist hosts movie shorts fr
seltowws heyday featuring st
demistars at play (Republic Pictures).
Great Movie Stunts: When the director
shouts “Action!” by Cod, you want aclion.
Ford takes us behind the

Harrison

scenes of Raiders of the Lost Ark (Para-
mount).

Day for Night: Life on and off the movie
set in late director Francois Truffaut's
valentine to his craft starring himsell
and Jacqueline Bisset (Warner).

The Secret Life of Sergei Eisenstein: The leg-
endary director gives insights into his
work in this topnotch docubio. Includes
excerpts from Battleship Potemlun, Alexan-
der Nevsky and others (Mystic Fire).

The CBS/Fox Guide to Home Videography:
Now, down to basics: Push here, point
there, turn this don't do that! Ц
corder operati ide easy (CBS/Fox).
From Star Wars to Jedi: The Making of a Saga:
Director George Lucas reveals the inspi-
rational story behind the greatest space
epic ever filmed. May the Force be with
you (CBS/Fox). TERRY CATCHPOLE

VIDEOSYNCRASIES

The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle: The
flying squirrel and the talking moose are
on vid at last! Also on the six-tape collec-
tion: Boris and Natasha, Sherman and
Mr. Peabody, Dudley Do-Right and the
rest of the gang (Buena Vista).

Grond Canyon Mule Ride: Award-winning
video of classic trip through the Grand
Canyon, complete with historic sight-
seeing, genuine wr stories and
“original mule music." Actor (and for
mer rancher/horseshoer) Willord Brim
ley narrates (Don Briggs Productions).

gler

FEELING RECKLESS

FEEUNG WICKED

Wild at Heart (Nicolas Cage and Laura Dern, rebels without
a clue, screw their way across the South; Dovid Lynch aut-
weirds himself); State of Grace (Irish street gang menaces
everyane; Sean Penn captivates); Quick Change (clown-suit-
ed thief Bill Murray leads damned getaway).

Problem Child (dopey suburbanites adapt o freckle-faced lit-
tle Satan; comic mayhem ensues); The Witches (clever boy
uncovers queen crore Anjelica Huston's plot to turn kids in-
to mice; OK for adults); The Bad Seed (Mervyn LeRoy's 1956
toke on the hellish-tat theme).

FEELING EXPERIMENTAL

Flatliners (Kiefer Sutherland and med schcol cronies do
same out-of-bady thrill seeking); Darkman (supercasmeti-
cian burn victim makes phony faces and tackles thugs);
Frankenstein Unbound (Dr. F enlists a time-traveling tech-
nowhiz ta thwart monster spree).

Days of Thunder (Tom Cruise eyes the checkered flog, but
180-mph footage finishes first); The Art of Speed (legend
Richard Petty downshifts to narrator mode for decent racing
docuvid); Michael Jordan's Playground ("Сос in basketball
shoes" spurs a kid ta shoot for his dreams).

Enjoy our good taste with wana Ж judgment.

Bacardig rum, made in Puerto Rico.
Bacardi Light. In wi taste since 1862.

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GOING FOR THE GOLD

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By DIGBY DIEHL

Psychohistori going to have a
field day analyzing the spread of Жой!
Peaks mutilation fever in the Nineties.
On the heels of TV's Nouvelle Vague saga
of "Who raped, tortured and killed Lau-
ra Palmer?” we had the tasteless specta-
cle of Bret Easton Ellis’ splatterpunk
homage, American Psycho. Now, in Chicago
Loop (Random House), Paul Theroux
explores the story of a happily married
Yuppie developer who seeks out lonely
women through the "Personals" col-
umns and eventually murders one of
them by biting her to death.

Theroux's intense
short novel from the earlier sensational-
ist treatments of violence a
his riveting, frightening focus on the
thought processes of a psychopath, Thi
is an honest attempt to understand the
motivations behind an unthinkable

On the surface, Parker Jagod:
pears to be a typically amoral bu:
opportunist, a far cry from the vicious
murderer whom newspapers are calling
The Wolfman. As Theroux puts it, “The
Wolfman at home was a guy with an in-
lant son, à Beemer, a mortgage and 20
framed pictures on his piano." He and
his photographic-model wile enjoy play-
ing sex games in which he checks into a

ates

nst women

sleazy hotel and waits for her to come to
his room in different disguises.

But
something has gone haywire in Parkers
psychosexual make-up, and these mar
tal scenarios aren't exciting enough. He
begins to place ads in the “Personals”
column of the Reader and searches for
women who want to be beaten.

Parker's twisted vision of nships
between the sexes explores a psy-
chopathology of love/hate, sex/violence,
pleasure/pain that is right out of the
pages of Krafft-Ebing. And when he los
es control during a "ritual of mort
fication” with a sad, lonely woman
ned Sharon, Theroux does not spare
us the gruesome details.

Finally, as a sort of penance, an ult
mate act of empathy with his victim,
Parker dresses im womens clothing,
moves into à shabby apartment a few
blocks from where she lived and be-
comes Sharon. In Theroux's skillful
hands, this grotesque story is a sexual
parable for our times, a startling insight
into the distorted relations between me
and women.

In a strong spring season for fiction,
three other exceptional new books—The
Difference Engine (Bantam), by William
Gibson and Bruce Sterling, Sweetwater
Ranch (Atlantic), by Geoflrey N

ind Sailor*s Holiday (Random House), by

Chicago Loop: A sexual parable.

Theroux's startling
insight into
disturbing relationships

Barry Giflord—stand out. Gibson and
Sterling, the science-fiction pioneers of
cyberpunk, team up to tell a 19th Centu-
ry tale quite d
work. Instead of writing specu
fiction about how computers may affect
at society, they have fantasized
about how they would have affected the
past. If, in 1855, George Babbage had
perfected his steam-powered mechanical
computing engine, how would history
be different? Lord Byron would be
prime minister, posit, Gibson and Ster-
ling and every citizen of Britain would
be registered by identification number
in a large computer. The fate of the r
tion might hinge on a box of punched
cards that become the M of this
brilliant historical thr

Edgar-winning mystery writer Geof-

frey Norm takes us t0 the. Redneck
Riviera territory of Florida's Panhandle
for a tough, fast-moving story about the
director of an orphanage who is charged
with child abuse. The charge is part of a
shakedown operation, and ex-Green
Beret Morgan Hunt is hired to investi-
gate the shady lawyer behind it. He
brings events to the kind of а анс
conclusion that another Florida writer,
John D. MacDonald, would have ad-
mired.

Barry Gillord is one of those oxer-
night successes who have been writing
highly praised books that sell modestly
for two decades. The David Lynch movie

of his novel Wild at Heart launched him,
and that outlandish pair, Sailor and Lu-
la, are back for more colorful and crazy
adventures in Sailor's Holiday. Yn the four
interconnected. novel of this book.
Gifford brings the two star-crossed
lovers together in New Orleans after
Sailor finishes a jail stint. Gifford.
sketches marvelous characters as deftly
as William Faulkner and
scene after scene of hil
a storytelling talent who deserves hi
chunk of best-sellerdom.

The most impressive first book this
month is Musde (Poseidon), by Sam Wil-
son Fussell. This is Fussell's fascinating
story of his transformation from a skin-
ny, wimpy Oxford scholar to a 250-
pound Southern California powerhouse
bodybuilder in four years of pumping
iron, shooting steroids and living at the
gym. His vivid descriptions of the rigors
of the weightlifiing scene and his intro-
spective honesty make this book a kind
of American success story that has you
up out of your chair and cheering.

Finally, two studies of international
hot spots that are hardly typical travel
books: Best Nightmare on Earth: A Life in
(Prentice Hall), by Herbert Gold,

who

‘Tony Horwitz (an adaptation appear
in Playboy in January). C

history of his 38-ycar with
Haiti is simply the best all-encompass
explanation of this conwadictory and
tragic island country that I have read.
Like Gold, Horwitz has a discerning eye
and a light touch in describing his trav-
els, and he provides a. much-needed
counterpoint to the recent re
litical analysis of the Middle

BOOK BAG

Favlkner"s Mississippi (Oxmoor House),
text by Willie Morris, photos by William
Eggleston: Two Southern talents. cele-
brate Faulkner and the Mississippi of his
ife and

145 anecde

love affair

ow), by Kinky
: When the former members
BE etnies, acne band
start dropping like flies, the Texas su-
persleuth is on the job unraveling the
messy mystery

The L.A. Musical History Tour: A Guide to the
Rock and Roll Landmarks of Los Angeles (Fa
ber and ber), by Art Fein: A tour—
from the obvious to the obscu
includes Geffen Records, three Bei
residences, the Hollywood Bo
Walk of Fame and all the night clubs fre-
истей by rock and rolls movers and
shakers as well as those aspiring to rock-

and-roll fame.

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SIGNATURE

_ MEN

E: ask yourself what's happenin
on the social scene ıha just

к and bite you on the as
A man I know meets a woman

h her, necks with her on
n front of oth They

hem
dances w
nce floor

join his friends outside and continue
necking in the back seat of a car while
they're driven to a party. There, the two

appear into a room and come out

day later, when the wo
police and accuses the n
There is no physical evidence of
but the man is arrested, jailed, tried, sen-
tenced and imprisoned. It is his word
against hers. He loses.

hem; A man I know
turer at a city coll
former students out to I
quest. She is a bright but inseeu
n who believes herself to be physically
unattractive and says so. He says in re-
sponse, and 1 quote. "You are a v
tractive woman. IT 1 were in you
and single, I would probably ask
She goes back to the de-

parttime lec-
e ol his
her re-

[рап has sexually harassed her and in-
his contract not be renewed be-
cause he is a threat to women students.
The chairman agrees and it is done. The
man is dropped. from the faculty, по
questions asked.

Item: A sophomore at George Wash-
ington University is the sole source for a
story in the school newspaper about two
black men who supposedly raped one ol
her white friends. The assailants. as de-
scribed by the student, had “particularly
bad body odor? allegedly told the
victim alter then k, were pret-

ty good for a white The student,
who a day later admits through her
lawver that she made up the report, says

in her apology to the dean of students
that she “had hoped the story, as report-
ed, would highlight the problems of
safety lor women.”

The bottom line? The war between
the sexes has a uniquely virulent form in
today's culture. False allegations of har-
assment and date rape are springing up
like condoms in sp

Face the facts, man. You live in a high-
risk social environment. I a woman
brings false sexual charges against you.
no matter how flimsy her evidence or be
lated her action, your protests of inno-
y not be believed. This is The

cence m

By ASA BABER

THE 1991 LOW-
RISK DATING KIT

Time ofthe Werewolf Hi And the last
time I checked, you looked a lot more
like a werewolf than she did

Before vou go out on a date, before you
become trusting in conversation with a
female acquaintance, you'd better ask
voursell some basic questions. What con-
stitutes sexual harassment in her terms?
Is it harassment for vou to look at her
with interest? Lo talk with her casually?
To ask her lor a date? To crack a sexual
joke? To ask for a Kiss or a hug at the end
of the evening? Does she generally ad-
vertise that men are slime while women
are victims? Better check her out. "Know
before vou go. bro” should be your dat-
ing slogan. Write that down and paste it
over your computer terminal. Know b-
fore you go.

For extra protect

on. Гуе devised a

low-risk dating kit. You may want to take
a look at it, Am I jokin

when I list these

estions? Yes. And n

© [lire a privale altorney. Granted. his
retainer is a few thousand dollars a day.
and it is a lithe awkward h him
around all the time, especially on the
date itself, but remember: Dating is a
high-risk. proposition these days, Your
attorney's job is to follow you 24 hours a
day and advise vou on your every move,
(You should choose a male lawy
of course, because if your lawyer is a
female... . well. you know, people may

su;

spread the story all over town)
© Hase your prospective date sign a dating
This is imperative. You and

your attorney design it and print it. With

е dai
contract.

your attorney present, have her read the
form, answer any questions she may
have and then have I Amon

other thi
that she is
havior, that she is m
handle a dating situ
has a genuine interest i
ature, no dare.
Hire a television crew. You need a cam-
eraman to shoot a video record of your
every move and probably an audio man
to check sound levels. Better have a ¢
to carry the battery packs, too. And you
need a special infrared TV camera for
might work, along with a directional
mike and extra video tape.

© Arrange satellite surveillance, The cost
of this one? Could be in the millions. but
think of what it saves in the long run. In-
sist on something like the KH-TI or one
of its later versions. Used properly, this
baby can spot a zit on your nose from
ay miles in space and it can follow
you anywhere. You'll need a sophisticat-
ed team to program it and launch it, a
satellite-dish operator and. photo-an:
sis expert and some good code breakers
to scramble your data so that her satellit
ission can't screw up your satellite
sion. (You bet, space captain.
y have her own satellite. too!)

© Hire fingerprint and voiceprint analyz-
ers, as well as polygraph experts, physical
surveillance people and phone freaks who can
tap into anything and vzerslhing. Rig. is
wded with all these people
you around. Can't be help
the Nineties. You n
FBI personnel for most of the
surveillance: jobs. And don't forget to
take a lie-detector test
Have her take one, too. Seal the test re-
sulis in a bank vault You may need
them. Also, ask her to sign a release form
after the date, testilving to the fact that
in her opinion, you behaved yoursel! Be
sure to take your ink pad and towel
along that first evening. too. Have to get
her hngerprints, you understand. Noth-
ing personal. just business, Because а
guy can't be too careful these days. vou
know what I mean?

Yeah, I think you know what I

ngs. she ag is for

sponsible for her own h

enough to
and that she
dating you. No

fier every date.

1962.

1980.

WOMEN

he phone rang. 1 picked it up.

a fine, t nd you?

“OK, here's what happened,

“Yesterday, I was ready to dic. 1 thought

it was my last day in the play, thc origi
actress was coming back. In the play, I
am this independent persc 1I run
around and have opinior
wich other people and it sounds nu
but lately, only when I'm on the sta
have I felt alive, and happy, have I felt
like me. 1 was really upset, and then, sud-
denly, I thought, I don't need the play to
feel alive! 1 can feel alive y
life! So I broke up with Ken! Г
longer ‘Ken's girlfriend” And, al:
still in the play!"

1 felt a wave of nostalgia, like when 1
hear American Pie on the radio. I remem-
bered the day my husband and I were
both crying, and then he walked out of
our house and the door closed and I sat
thinking nothing lor a few minutes, and
then something snapped in my brain,
and suddenly, out of nowhere, 1 remem-
bered who I was, my awareness of self
flooded through me. Га been so bu:
being a wife ГА forgotten. Ш was a very
mid-Seventies carly-feminist moment
when independence was prized ov
connection. Then the phone rang again
and I was back in the Nineties.

“Well,” said Joanie, “he' ned my
life, so lm going to ruin his. He'll be re-
ally sorry he fucked me over”

“You don't have to let him ruin your
life,” I said. "There's a certain amount of
choice involved. I know hc was sleeping
with two other women and lied to you
hundreds ol s, bui
ip for this job,” said Joanie, who
is a very powerful woman in publishi
“and Гуе got a call in to make sur
doesn't get it. Do you think he's mise:
able? Do you think he misses me?

“What do you care what he thinks?
The man’s a scumbag.”

“I know, I know, but do you think he's
sad about me? 1 checked his mail this
morning. 1 threw away his bank state-
ment. I visited his neighbors. They hate
him now. I want him to crawl back to me.
On his hands and knees. I want him to
come crawling back, and then I want to
tell him to go fuck himself."

"Guess what happened to me yester-
day,” I said

“I miss him so much." she said.

I finally hung up with her and went to

she said.

By CYNTHIA HEIMEL

BREAKING UP
IS EASY TO DO

meet Hank at the corner coffee shop.
“Tm heartbroken,” Hank said.
“Sul?” I asked testil "Oh, sorry. It
just seems that everyone | know is bre
ing up and they re way deep into it and
they're all calling me for advice and I
doit know what to say anymore, Can't
anyone just talk about the weather
“Looks like rain,” said Hank.
"Doesn't it, though?”

“Rain reminds me of her,” he said.
“1 thought aid.
1 can't bel gone,” he said.

She's right down the street,
gone. Boy, I really fucked up big.
"Look, vou weren't even that crazy for
her until the first time you two broke up.
remember?
So,
happened.
“Dont tell me. The worst thing about
people splitting up is that they have thi
compulsion to relate every detail of ev-
ery minuscule moment of the breakup to
anyone who will listen, I know Em being
but I have been Florence
Nightingale for months, and you're
ady to move on.
"No, l'm not.”
“Yes, you are. I know that breaking up
s a primal pain, majoi of the
psyche, almost as bad as if someone
died. At least you're not being a regular
guy and pretending it’s not happening.

ad she's

actly that; here's wh

Guys tend to avoid all the grief and
anger y
all that hurt and rage festering inside
them—for y But I think you're stay
ng attached to your heartache because
is a way of staying attached to her.
You've got to get a grip. Let her go. She
lefi you, she's going on with her life, And
you're getting into th 1 100 much.
You know what Joanie’ s doing?"

“L don't care.”

‘Joanie broke up with the creep
months ago. She still thinks about him
every day. She's devoted to ruining his
life. She's still completely involved with
him. She's afraid to be alone, and this is
her way of staying connected. Hank,
move forward. Get a life."

“Oh, what do you know?" Hank said.

1 went home. The phone rang.

“Well, it looks like Kurt and I are sep-

“I hate that son of

a bitch

“OK, Rachel, listen to me. Here's what
you can expect. .
nd 1 told her everything 1 had
learned since this hideous epidemic of
breakups began. That you lose probably
every shred of self-esteem you ever had.
When you're rejected (and even il you'r
the one initiating the breakup, you feel
rejected) by the person with whom you
have had the most primal connection,
your most miserable thoughts abou
yourself are confirmed, You feel ugly
and stupid and far and smelly. You feel
erly unlovable. You hit rock bouon
But last forever.

“Well, aren't you a little ray
shine,” Rachel said.

Phen there's the feel
ment, and the hu ng pec
ple and admitting you couldn't make it
work. And the dreadful fear tha
new will ever love you again:

“shut up or Ell shoot you
said.

“On the other hand, if vou were with
эи wouldn't have bro-
ken up. So after you go through all the

y and hell, a tiny ray of relief will
Prout the clouds. You'll feel re-
leased from some kind of awful bondage
and wonder what you could have seen 1

doesn’

of sun-

no onc

Rachel

We hung up. The Ойл rang.
“Em so miserable!” Laura cried.

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THE PLAYBOY ADVISOR

О... of my friends says that he and his
girlfriend have discovered a new type of
foreplay. They set aside an hour or so a
week and talk about sex, They choose a
topic. and then cach reminisces about
past experiences, fantasies, whatever. He
id they had read about it in a book, but
ven't gotten back to him for det
Have heard of thisz—P. R.,
Kansas City, Kansas.

Yes. Ws called dating. Or therapy. Keith
Harary and Pamela Weintraub, authors of
“Inner Sex in 30 Days," call it communion
They describe a set of exercises that matches
your friend's activities: “Retire to your erotic
refuge with your partner at a time when you
feel you will have at least au hour without be-
ing disturbed. Then change into loose, flow-
ing clothes and share some fresh fruit, cheese
or wine. Before you begin your actual talk, we
would like you to remember lo tell the truth, to
listen carefully to your partner and to be sup-
portive of what he or she says, no matter what
thal might be. Please do not make your laver
feel guilty for any thoughts or feelings and try
lo avoid feelings of guilt yourself. As you
speak, look into your partners eyes.” For a
first communion, they suggest asking the fol-
Towing: “When did you have your first or
gasm? Was it with or without another person
present? What was your. first positive sexual.
experience? What are your earliest memories
about sex? What were your earliest sexual
fantasies? What role do these early memories
and fantasies play in your sex life?” Once you
gel into
other topics for communion: “Are there any
sexual requests you have nol yet discussed with
vach other? If so, do so now. Aud be as explic-
и as possible. Describe the precise way that you
perceive your partner while making love. Be
as explicit as possible. If you have any sexual
fantasies you feel are too extreme to actually
ай on, you may (if you want) discuss these
with your partner now.” There are other topics
for these little chats. What is the strangest
X-rated movie you ever saw? What was the
most arousing? What was the first piece of
erotica you can remember reading? Is there
anything you wouldn't da sexually? Why? See
if there is a theme to your answers. The best
thing about these exescises is selling aside the
Conversation on any topic can

you evel

changing sexual histories, there аге

hour a wer

he sexy

mine recently got back.
а spectacular weekend in Aspen,
re he witnessed something called а
body shor. He wont tell me what itis, €x-
cept that he has promised to demon-
strate it the next time we are in а bi
Have you ever heard about this?—Miss
K. E., Chicago, Illinois

God, we love assignments like this, (Now
that United Express/Aspen has direct flights

from Chicago, we do all of our research first-
hand.) Here is our report: The body shot is a
friendly version of the tequila shot. It requires
a willing partner of the opposite sex. First,
sprinkle salt on yonr finger tips. Lick your
partner's neck and pal the sall ота the we
spol. Neat, place the lime, citrus side ont, bw-
tween your partners teeth. Now follow the
usual routine—lick the salt (you have lo get
all of il), drink the shot of tequila, then suck
on the lime. H could catch on.

sted in improving my bed-
osphere, | would like to create
AL as possible,
g the »usness of the
space, 1 have kept my furnishings Spar-
tan (a custom queen-size bed, a might
stand, a receiver and two speakers and a
medium-size flower print). l'm thinking
that maybe a fog machine stashed under
the bed or in the closet would be a good
addition. How practical is it? Some other
ideas Гуе considered include addi
h

over

ga
y a mosquito
bed, maybe

chair or love se:
с! or gauze

the
draped down over the sides, 1 was think-

ing of some offbeat sounds such as oce
surf, jungle noise, underse
sounds (dolphins, whales, et al.). Where
can I purchase thesez—R. $., Houston,
Te

as.

Whoa. Unless turn your
boudoir into a theme park, hold the special ef
fects. You could probably pick up а fog ma-
chine [vom а failed disco or heavy-metal band,
but really, now. Outside of inspiring Jack the
tipper fantasies, cold and clammy do noi
usually add up to erotic. Sounds of waterfalls,

you want to

ILLUSTRATION BY OENNIS MUKAI

oceans, elc., are kind of hard to dance to (or
fuck to), but your local record store probably
carries some environmental tapes. We think
you mis

> ht have better results with à selection
of your favorite seductive music, something to
which carth people can respond.

WI, work keeps me trapped in the city
on weekends. No big deal, except that I
never get to buy any of those airline tick-
els where you have to stay over a Satur-

y night. One of my friends suggested
buying nested-l back-to-
back tickets. Have you ever heard of
these?—S. S., St. Louis, Missouri.

Yep. The airlines hate them but, as we went
to press, hadn't figured out a way to slop you
[rom taking advantage of loopholes, AU's war
when it comes to fares, The nested fare is for
one-shots: Say you want to travel lo New York
Jor a Wednesday-matinee performance. The
midweek fare is $795, a Saturday slay-over is
$138. You buy a round trip starting in Chica-
go for the outbound and a round trip starting
[rom New York for the return. You use half of
each tickel and toss the rest: You still save
$600 or so. Not bad. The back-to-back is a
favorite with businessmen who have regularly
scheduled midweek meetings. Say you have là
fly to Washington, D.C., every Wednesday [or
a high-level golf game with Dan Quayle, In-
stead of buying one full-fare ticket cach week,
you buy two tickets with the Saturday stay-
ner. Yon use the outbound [rom the current.
week's ticket and the return from the following
week's ticket. Of course, if Ihe airlines catch
you, you may be subject to paying full fave

Wehen my grandmother pa
year and a half ago, my family and |
e allowed to go to her home and take
what we wanted. In addition to furniture

e tickets o

sed away a

whole body with it one n
expe
my clitoris. 1 experienced
such as I'd never had befor
toy regularly now. I like him to be be-
hind, on top of or inside me while I hold
the vibrator against my clitoris. He
seems to enjoy it also, but he sometimes
has a problem with it because I like it
better than anything else when it comes
10 having an orgasm. We have talked
about it with oth

ience by

orgasm
We use this

> couple who ar

ly liberated. The two men have sug
we two women put on a show
My fiancé would enjoy this (it’s
his fantasy). His friend has gone so far as
to get a camcorder out, tr ad all. 1

PLAYBOY

think we are all waiting for someone else
to say the word. 1 would probably try
this, but I don't know how the other
woman feels. Any suggestions: —Miss
R. D., Louisville, Kentucky.

We lowe family heirlooms. It says a lot that
the sexual revolution occurred long enough
ago for one generation to have inherited
the sex toys of another, And we see that )
are working loward creating souvenirs for the
next. We suggest you take your friend aside
and ask her her feelings. Since her boyfriend
owns the camcorder, she may already be famil-
iar with it. Or maybe you should ask to borrow
it for the weekend. Practice on a lillle-league
game or something. Just kidding.

hap: гус built an incredible home-en-
tertainment system, choosing the best
components from a variety of manufac-

u There's only one drawback—
now have a coffee table full of remote-
control devices. I is exasperating lo

shuffle through four separate 1
ng to find the one to change the ch
or to skip a track on a CD. Any sugge:

ions, short of buying a new integrated
system?—A. K., Los Angeles, Calilornia.

Check out one of the programable remotes.
There are two types. In one, you jump-start a
single unil—lining up each of your existing
nmts with the new unit and transferring the
codes, button by button. H takes time bul al-
lows you to change the program if you replace
a component. The newer models (the Harmon
Kardon MasterWorks and the Proton UVA-
2000) are preprogramed. Tell the dealer
which components you own and a compuler al
the shop will set the commands, You should be
able to get a good unit for less than $150. But
one word of warning—il sounds as if you
have become the ultimate couch potato. You
may be giving up the only form of exercise
‘you have lefi

Bee been e with my lov
three years, We've put a lot of imagina
п into sexually startling each othe
Last night left me with vastly mixed feel-
ings. Alter a leisurely meal, two glasses of

ed white wine, then a hot shower to
gether, she took charge and herded
to bed. There, while 1 lay on my back,

she began fondling my testicles and lick-
ing my penis; her tongue was 1elende
Soon, I had an extremely intense oi
gasın. She was sucking pleasantly hard,
pressing her thumb just above my
An instant later, she cli
body and kissed me, spitting my own se
men into my mouth. She smeared it all
over our lips and tongues and rubbed
our faces in the goo. Words fail to de-
scribe my feelings about this event. 1
showed her this letter and she laughed
evilly. Sauce lor the gander. Your com-
ments?—]. R., Houston, Texas.

How does that song go: “Eve looked al love
from both sides now"? So your girlfriend
showed you what a great blow job feels like
from her perspective. Whats the problem?

Sounds like you've found a player, We're in-
trigued by this game. What are you going to
do—cut a hole in the bottom of a box of pop-
com, stick your penis through it and offer her
some next lime you're al the movies? Will you
stand over the door of the bedroom, mastur-
bale to the point of climax, and then wait un-
til she walks through the door to come?

my wile and I enjoy giv-
h other a massage, which often
ple activities.
In the course of ou riage, we hay
tried various creams, lotions and oils.
Howe: unsatisfied with most of
them. oil is too slippery. Hand
tend to be absorbed

ing ea
leads to even more pleasu

er, we
Baby

crea to the ski
faster than we would like. АЙ of th
te te which forces us to ignor

certain arcas that may later require fur-
ther attention. What do you reco
mend?—S. ifornia.

Maybe Paul Newman should come out with
a massage oil to match his salad dressing. Try
light, natural oils—a mix of almond oil and
vegetable oil works wonders, Neutrogena has
a line of body oils that includes a light sesame
formula.

IM, girlfriend seems able to reach o

asm only a few set ways—through mas-
turbation while lying on her back with
her legs tighily clenched and through.
tercourse while lying on her back with
her legs tightly clenched. W 1
the martyr. position. I'm starting to feel
inadequate. We reach orgasm, but we
seem to be in a rut. Is it typical for wom-
en to have only one kind of orgasm—
E. Y.. New York, New York.

There ave researchers who think that each
woman's pattern of orgasm is unique—ithey
call it "orgasmic fingerprinting.” Same wom-
en have intense orgasms, some mild, some
both. There is also substantial evidence that a
woman's subjective experience of orgasm
varies from situation lo situation. It is possible
lo change. If a woman masturhates in one po-
sition, she conditions herself to certain stimuli.
Through practice, she can add options. She
can learn more subtle sexual sensations—by
changing hands, by switching from hard di-
reel stimulation to light stimulation, by rolling
over on her stomach, by moving her body
against her hand, a pillow or a doorframe. It
is unlikely at first that she will be able to trig-
ger ап orgasm. [rom these alternatives, but
thal is not the point. Intercourse is never as
precise as what you do to and for yourself—if
you learn to be sensitive lo imprecise stimula-
lion, you can accommodate greater variety in
intercourse.

© апе as it may sound, I've seen
listed on the menus of fine
ants. Гуе never heard of a
black food dye, so I'm wondering how
they get that dark hue—almost like
pitch. Tell me, what's the secret—E. C.,

Felidia Ristorante, one of Manhattan's top

lalian restaurants, offers Papardelle alla
Seppia and Trenette Nere alla Seppi
among other black-pasta dishes. No dye is
used. The color is derived from cuttlefish ink.
according to executive chef Lidia Bastianich
Squid ink may also be used, but cuttlefish ink
is preferred at Felidia because of ils richer
body.

Van a 21-year-old colle
been dating the same gir
half years. the beginning
ntastic. I would
myself every five min-
n order to make the sessions l
the first ye
lay my dimax for as loi

The sex a

а considerable
у: conse
become mo-
ng if | have
Is it
Col-

seen € lost
оши of physica
quently, i
notonous.

ado.

A physical problem? We doubt it, unless
built up a callus. You may have created
а bap for yourself. Kurt Vonnegut, Jr, once
said, "We are what we pretend to be, so we
must be careful about what we pretend to he.”
You are going lo have to unlearu control. Sex
doesn't require that you focus on ignoring
your own sensations, (urniug your erection m-
to а tool and lovemaking into a chore. The last
place you want to punch a time clock is in bed.
You may want to give it a rest—for the next
Jew weeks, do everything but intercourse. Let
your girlfriend stimulate you—orally, manu-
ally, visually, whalever. Find ways to stimulate
her that don't involve your penis. Maybe your
endurance sessions didn't appeal to her. This
isn’t a permanent condition. There may be
some deeper psychological baggage that affects
your sex life. You are approaching the
artificial deadline of graduation. What do
you want to happen to your sex life/relation-
ship after college? Start a conversation and
see where it leads. If you need help. consult a
therapist. Contact the American Association
of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists,
435 North Michigan Avenue, Suite 1717,
Chicago 60611, for more mformation and a
possible referral.

All reasonable questions—from fashion,
Jood and drink, stereo and sports cars to dat-
ing problems, taste and etiquette wall be per-
sonally answered if the writer includes a
stamped, self-addressed envelope. Send all Jet
fers to The Playboy Advisor, Playboy, 680
North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Hlinois
60611. The most provacative, pertinent
queries will be presented on (hese pages each
month.

Hear Playmates’ dating experiences and
have them answer your dating questions and
more on the Playboy Hotline. Call 1-900-
740-3311 today; only two dollars per minute.

[y]

cAjter all,
if smoking iswt a pleasure,
why bother?

SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Cigarette
Smoke Contains Carbon Monoxide.

Southern Comfort has a distinctive, appealing flavor.
It’s a drink that makes any other drink taste that much better.

Comfort on the Rocks: Pour 1% jigger of Southern Comfort
into a short glass with ice. Garnish with lemon, or lime, or cherry.

THE

Last fall, U.S. District Judge Mar-
vin H. Shoob recused himself from an
obscenity case when a U.S. Attorney
sought to bring felony charges against
a 50-year-old bookkeeper for import-
ng adult tapes for his personal use.

"The initiation of this action has
puzzled the court from the onset,”
reads the judge's opinion. It goes on.
to index the areas in which the justice
system is overtaxed: drug prosecu-
tions and white-collar crime.
Why, it asks, is the Justice De-
partment prosecuting a run-
of-the-mill porn arrest while,
in the same breath, the de-
partment claims it hasn't the
resources to fight the more se-
rious problems?

“Over the past 11 years, this
court has viewed hundreds of
articles of pornography, many
more obscene than the tapes
at issue here . . ." Shoob
writes. "However, the Govern-
ment, based on some criteria
known only to the prosecutor,
chose to pursue this action
while finding that thousands
of identical or even more dis-
gusting violations did not war-
rant an indictment. . . . The
court feels so strongly that it is
fundamentally unfair to pur-
sue this 50-year-old book-
keeper and saddle him with a
felony conviction, even if he is in vio-
lation of the statute, when hundreds
of persons similarly situated are not
prosecuted, the court must recuse.”

Shoob was the first judge to be-
come a conscientious objector in the
war on porn. He refused to hear the
case, because he had seen enough
porn to know that the videos in ques-
tion would pass the critical communi-
ty-standards test with flying colors.

Shoob chose not to participate in
an overzealous prosecution. Other
y have a similar opportuni-
Justice Department's National
Enforcement U re-
named the Child Exploitation and
Obscenity Section (with a yearly
budget of about $1,700,000), is going

PLA Y BO Y

SEX, DRUGS AND JUSTICE
THE JUDGES JUST SAY МО

every war has its conscientious objectors; in certain legal conflicts, the c.o.s have ringside seats

after adult film makers in California
The conflict is still small potatoes,
akin to the limited-involvement
phase in Vietnam, when there were
just a few military advisors.

In contrast, the nation's war on
drugs has reached full-stage confla-
gration. The zero-tolerance offensive,
with legions of enforcement officers,
squadrons of new attorneys dedicated
to prohibition, prosecution and pun-

ishment, has changed the landscape
of American justice.

The churning of criminal cases
through the courts is astounding. In
1988 and 1989, the 5 Federal
judges sentenced. nearly 40,000 de-
fendanis in drug cases alone. Mor
than one quarter of the cases heard
are drug cases, It is even more inten-
sive on the state level: In 1988, state
courts convicted 111,950 people of
felony drug trafficking. The popula-
tion of state and Federal prisons in
creased by 42,862 in the first half of
1990 to a record 755,425 by vear's
end. Government policy may not be
changing drug use; it is filling jails.

If you are a hawk in the war on
drugs, the body count should satisfy

FORUM

your blood lust. But when you in-
crease the police force and the arrest
rate without increasing the number
of public defenders, courtrooms and
judges, you tilt the scales of justice to-
ward the prosecution. Judges regard
the new Federal mandatory-sentenc-
ing guidelines as "pocket computer"
justice, mechanical sentencing or
worse. Combined with the Speedy
Trial Act (a defendant must go to trial
within ten weeks of indict-
ment in a drug case), the re-
sult is swift erosion of
freedon

Pecos, Texas, judge Luciu
Bunton told a reporter, "You
are just running them
through here like cattle."

Judge Sarah Evans Barker
of Indianapolis concurred.
"You make it like a check-out
line. Get people and run
them over the beeper."

US. District Judge Law-
rence J. Irving of San Diego
became the first conscientious
objector to the war on drugs.
Last year, he resigned, saying,
“It's a game I just cant con-
tinue to play. You are a robot
now on the bench.”

Its not enough that the
war on drugs has become a
kind of judicial genocide,

with prisoners loaded into
freight cars and shipped to over-
crowded holding pens. Obviously,
wholesale justice shortchanges the ac-
cused; what's more, it short-circuits
se concerns. Criminal cases fill
the docket, create backlogs that stifle
the other concerns, The politics of the
moment have eclipsed traditional pri-
orites: If you have a civil rights law-
, forget it. If you have an
environmental-action lawsuit, forget
it. If you have a job-discrimination
lawsuit, forget it. If you have a First
Amendment complaint, forget it.

A few judges have spoken out.
What we find frightening is the num-
ber who say nothing, who, when due
process is just a memory, will say, "I
only doing my job.”

PRO-LIFE PLAYBOY READER?

You must think that oppo-
nents of fetal rights read The
Playboy Forum and that fetal-
rights supporters dont. In
"Abortion: The Year in Review”
(Playboy, December), you de-
scribe Right-to-Lifers with the
question "Who could be the
cleverest and cruelest?" Do you
consider defending
rights cruel? Questio
lence without reason is legal
against members of how many
minorities? Answer: One—fe-
tuses. Justice demands equal
rights for all. With justice in
place, a mother would have
neither more nor fewer rights
than the child she was carrying
in her arms or in her womb.
These would include the right
to life. Hence, justice demands
that abortion legislation be con-
sistent with that of other acts of
violence. Playboy reaches out to
a readership of men who love
women. I love women, and I do
not agree with exempting them
from justice.

Scott Lansche
Toronto, Ontario

DEFINE YOUR TERM
A philosophy professor at
Georgetown Unive Ken-
nedy Institute of Ethics has
been getting a lot of pr
cently. Hans-Martin Sass be-

when life begins—
mass of cells growing
becomes a person. He puts the
magic moment at 70 days after
conception. Apparently, that's
when bra issue starts 10
form. Sass told a newspaper re-
porter that when the brain's
“hard and soft wiring" come to-
gether, something special is cre-
ated. Since brain activity is one
of the ways we define life, or
lack of it, in right-to-die cases,
why not use the same standard
for the beginning of life? What
do you think of the ide
Taylor Richards
Chicago, Minois

awomb

girls and women. .

plague.”

charges.”

We have two reactions. The first is prag-
matic: Such a definition would force a wom-
an to know the date of conception (the same

Last fall, the graffiti in the women's rooms at
Brown University presented a list of alleged stu-

physiological quarks that make the rhythm
method unreliable would make this difficult).
lt would force her to act within days of her
second missed period (agam, biology does

is no justification for falsely accus-
ing anybody of a crime as serious as rape,
and no way to prove a charge that is made
anonymously on a bathroom wall.

“Still, it’s hard to muster sympathy for any-
body on the other side of the graffiti wars that.
have slandered generations of unsuspecting
- . Don't be surprised if
such writing on the wall turns up elsewhere.
‘For a nice time, avoid Bob. Like the
— Chicago Sun-Times

LI
“This kind of harassment is itself a form of
assault, recklessly defaming a person's char-
acter without afording him the opportunity
to defend himself.

"Accusations of rape [should] not be ban-
died about in an irresponsible fashion. .
Victims should have their cases heard
through appropriate administrative and le-
gal mechanisms. But alleged assailants also
deserve the customary juridical protections
against the possibility of unfounded
—The Providence Journal

not make this the easiest task). Even
if the technology exists to detect
brain waves in a 70-day-old fetus,
demanding that à woman undergo
such a test just adds expense lo a
medical procedure—putting it ош
of reach of the poor. The fiaw in
Sass's definition is that it will nev-
er salisfy Right-to-Lifers—whose
greed. for mandatory. reproduction
doesn't end at the moment of con-
ception. These people are also
against contraception (they de-
manded Congress review the ap-
proval of Norplant, the first new
contraceptive in years). Many are
flat-out against any form of sex that
does not result in procreation—for
them, fetal rights begin with fore-
play. There is no middle ground m
this debate, no compromise better
than the one expressed in Roe vs.
Wade. When an issue polarizes the
body politic, the only wise policy is to
leave it to individual choice.

AIDS ON CAMPUS
Playboy has done an ad-
mirable job of quelling AIDS
hysteria. But a recent article in
The New England Journal of
Medicine gives me pause: Ac-
cording to a study co-authored
by Dr. Richard Keeling, ran-
dom testing of blood samples
from 16,863 students at 19
schools found 30 students on
nine campuses with the AIDS
virus. All but two of them were
men. If one in 562 college stu-
dents has the AIDS virus,
shouldn't we be more alarmed?

Jackson Dunne
Boston, Massachusetts
Haw would you react if the sur-
vey proclaimed that one in 562
blondes had the virus, or one in
562 owners of Japanese cars? If
you want to be Paul Revere, ask if.
your message is relevant. The AIDS
virus doesn't look at your diploma.
To date, only about five percent of
AIDS cases have resulted from hei-
erosexual transmission. The vast
majority of cases result from IV-
drug use (needle sharing) and anal
sex in Ihe gay community. The col-
lege figure doesn't identify the route
of transmission—it seems lo assume that
there are no gays or LV-drug users in col-
lege, a daring assumption, considering the
ralio of men to women among the collegiate

AIDS population. Next, we ask, Of what
benefi to public policy is this figure? Will
money go lo educate (1.e., instill (he fear of
AIDS among) college students that could
better be spent reaching 1.V-drug users? A
useful analogy is fire fighting: Someone liv-
ing in the hills outside a city that was on fire
might find solace if a fire engine pulled up
m front of his house al the first sign of
sparks—bul if he wanted the fire contained,
he would send the truck to the flames. We
think you know all that you need to know to
act cautiously. Condoms prevent the trans-
mission of S.T.D.s. Use 'em.

OBSCENE DEVICES
In the January Playboy Forum, you say
that several states have tried to outlaw
the sale of dildos and vibrators as "ob-
scene devices." Texas tried in 1978—
very successfully. The sale of dildos has
been illegal since. Local police officials
have used the law against obscene de-
vices to seize video equipment from
adult bookstores. While unsuccessful in
winning any of those cases, they contin-
ue to seize more equipment.
Lee Neal
Texas Connection magazine
Dallas, Texas

NC-17

A few days ago, I went to a theater to
see the NC-17-rated movie Henry &
June. 1 got more than just an evening at
the movies. First, I was asked to pro-
duce identification. But that didn't
bother me too much. At 36, it's kind of
nice to be taken for a teenager. Then I
had a protest leaflet shoved into my
face by some obviously upset and of-
fended individuals—the point of which
being that the NC-17 rating was mere-
ly a trick by Hollywood to sneak the
wash and filth of X-rated movies into
decent communities. That, too, didn't
bother me very much—until the movie
was over. It was then that I realized 1
was a pervert. You see, I didn’t think
the movie was trash or filth. I thought
it was art, beautifully made and per-
formed. But what the hell do 1 know?
I'm sure the filth police are a better
judge of this kind of thing than I am.
However, in spite of their wisdom,
which no doubt comes from a direct
line to God, I would still like to decide
for my humble self which movies to pay
to see. Call me simplistic, but I've al-
ways had this wacky notion that people
should mind their own business and al-
low other adults to think and choose

for themselves. This is the American
way, or so I've been led to believe.
J. P Harrah
Gadsden, Alabama

SEX-ED DROPOUT

I just read that a man made his
daughter withdraw from a University
of Oklahoma sociology course because
she had to read an article on “The So-
cialized Penis." In the academic envi-
ronment of a college campus, and,
more specifically, within the context of
a sociology course, it seems entirely
appropriate that the subject of human
sexuality, how society and the individu-
al influence each other, should be top-
ics open for discussion and debate.
Among other important functions of
higher education is the duty to expose

young people to a variety of ideas and
experiences that will allow them to see
and understand multiple sides of an is-
sue, to either modify their own beliefs
accordingly or, at the least, develop a
logic and a rational defense for those
beliefs that they may continue to hold,
as well as tolerance and respect for the
views of others. Since I doubt that this
man's daughter can make it through a
four-year course of study without be-
ing exposed to at least two or three
new ideas, I suggest that rather than
try to reduce the curriculum to an aca-
demic vacuum, he simply save the tu-
ition money. And maybe burn down
the local library while he's at it.

Bob Ripley

Midwest City, Oklahoma

Three impressive books have recently crossed our desk. They target fa-
miliar media topics pornography and the death penalty but with new in-

formation and arguments.

Last Rights (Abingdon), by Joseph B. Ingle: The death penalty may seem
appropriate in cases such as Ted Bundy's but Ingle's research, garnered
from ministering to 13 death-row inmates, proves that execution is not al-

ways the easy or the right choice.

Men Confront Pornography (Crown), edited by Michael S. Kimmel: Thirty-
two essays by men—some famous, some not—that examine pornography
and its effects. Attitudes range from warm affection for smut to the anger in
a treatise titled Is Pornography Jerking You Around? by a group called Men
Against Pornography. While there is much to dispute here, the work pre-
sents a fair examination of porn by the half of the culture most familiar with

it.

Pornography: The Other Side (Pracger), by F. M. Christensen: The author, a
professor at the University of Alberta, makes the persuasive argument that.
pornography is good and that antiporn movements are evil and symp-
tomatic of sexual illness. Repression, not porn, causes violence.

£00K WHO'S: TALKING

the first amendment in cris

arts and entertainment, a colloquium

presented by the playboy foundation

On October 24, 1990, the Playboy
Foundation and the Nation Institute
assembled a panel of speakers to dis-
cuss “The First Amendment in Crisis:
Arts and Entertainment.” These out-
spoken advocates of freedom ad-
dressed censorship, the market place
of ideas, culture
wars and, since
the evening was
intended to cele-
brate the 11th an-
niversary of the
Hugh M. Hefner
First Amendment
Awards, sex.
Playboy Enter-
prises, Inc.,
Chairman
Christie Hefner
introduced the
colloquium, mod-
erated by Victor
Navasky, editor of
The Nation. The
following are ex-
cerpts from the

discussion.
HEFNER: In the
[Robert] Map-

plethorpe and 2
Live Crew cases,
we have seen
some encourag-
ing court victories reaffirming the
strong libertarian instincts in this coun-
try. While we can celebrate those victo-
ries, underlying problems make me
anything but sanguine.

Each of the people on this panel rep-
resents a different community in terms
of his or her work. Yet you'll hear a
great commonality of experience here,
because what's at work in this era of
censorship is much more interrelated
than it may at first appear.

STAND-UP GUYS

NAVASKY: 1 would like to set the stage b;
recalling an earlier attempt to inti
date artists and entertainers—the pe
od of the infamous blacklists—the
McCarthy era. Ring Lardner, Jr., was
one of the so-called Hollywood Ten.
He was blacklisted for many years be-
cause when he was called before the

Cincinnati

House Un-American Activities Com-
mittee, he was one of those who did not
answer what was then known as the six-
ty-four-dollar question—"Are you now
or have you ever been a member of the
Communist Party?"—the way they
wanted him to answer. 1 consider the

and Ploy-

columnist

Lardner position the position of con-
science. What he said was, “I could an-
swer your question, sir, but 1 would
hate myself in the morning.” That
seems relevant to the dispute over the
current NEA regulations.

samur: I take the Ring Lardner ap-
proach. I would have hated myself—
and 1 think my museum, its board of
directors and its staff would have hated
themselves—in the morning if we had
given in to the call for censorship, to
the cancellation of the Robert Map-
plethorpe exhibit.

CULTURE WAR

srimeson: I think a cultural war is going
on. It is explicitly directed against
speakers who challenge racial and sex-
ual codes. Obscenity has replaced com-
munism as the demon of choice for

rigid and fearful Americans. Yes, the
sex police are on the beat.

covpperc: The phrase cultural war is
one that the radical right openly uses to
express its attitude toward entertain-
ment and art in this country. I have this
nagging fecling that while we win bat-
tles, we are losing
that war, I would
like to talk about.
strategy. When
Jesse Helms first
attacked Map-
plethorpe,
[Time's art critic]
Robert Hughes
wrote a long
piece criticizing
Helms. A few
weeks later,
Helms made it
into the yellow
box on the letters
page that Time
reserves for the
subject that gets

the most mail.
Eighty percent of
the mail had

agreed with
Helms and twen-
ty percent with
Hughes. The to-
tal number of
letters was one hundred and twenty-
seven, which meant that about thirty
people were concerned enough to
write a letter in defense of the NEA.
This is symptomatic of what's going on.
You have a very small minority that
writes letters, makes phone calls and
threats, that marches into classrooms,
and you have a passive majority that is
not paying attention.

The Roe us. Wade television movie,
even though it got the highest rating in
its time slot, lost a million dollars as a
result of sponsors’ withdrawing sup-
port. The sponsors withdrew because
of a few hundred or a few thousand let-
ters. You will not see another Movie of
the Week dealing sympathetically with
the choice issue. It's dead. This is why I
say we're losing the war, even though
we always win the battle of the op-ed
pieces, the editorials and frequently
the courts. We need to get a hundred

THEN <<,

thousand letter writers who will make a
commitment to spend two minutes a
month and participate in this debate at
the business level. When a TV network
gets a letter, they interpret itand try to
extrapolate from it the views of seven
thousand pcople. That is the power of
the Reverend Donald Wildmon.

scere: I don’t buy the argument that
ig. 1 see the country as much

freer than it has ever been. We have
won many victories. The censors are
at war with capitalism. The right is at

war with its own ideology. All over the
world, people want to be able to buy, to
spend their money. When the people
in Hungary broke down the iron cur-
tain, the first thing they wanted was a
Hungarian issue of Playboy. Consumer
sovereignty reigns. I've suggested be-
fore that Cincinnati and Havana ought
to be sister cities, because they both
have moved against the market place.
виме: There's a lot of scary stuff going
on out there. Some parent marches in-
to a school with a book and says, “Get
this filthy thing out of here.” And the
principal, wanting to avoid a con-
frontation, quietly instructs the teacher
to get that book out of there. It's going
to be up to readers to defend books, to
museumgoers to defend museums, to
moviegoers to defend movies, to peo-
ple who like music to defend music.
Until the side that wants the freedom is
as vocal as the side that's trying to take
that freedom away, it t going to
work.
corner: We defeated legislation in
fourteen states that would have re-
quired record stickering and, while we
won a 2 Live Crew court case, shop-
ping malls now are requiring guarai
tees from tenants who retail records or
books that they won't offend local com-
munity standards

The result is that anything that is
deemed controversial just isn't carried
in some large chains. The 2 Live Crew
record is not available in about half of
the retail stores in the United States.
However you feel about the record, the
reason it's not carried has nothing to
do with an aesthe ion of store
owners or with religious views of buy-
ers. It has to do with the fact that the
mark of shame has been put on it by
onc nut in Florida.

IS THE FIRST AMENDMENT
FOR EVERYONE?

narre: When the jurors were selected
for my trial, it was evident that most of
them had never been to an art museum
or a symphony or a ballet. It became

evident in the trial and in the afier-
math that there are divisions in our
country and that our institutions are
not serving the so-called masses of our
society. A lot of people were concerned
with the selection of the jurors. It was
stated over and over again that the ju-
rors were nuts, that the last time they'd
been to a museum was in the seventh
grade, And that was portrayed as: How
could we possibly win with this jury?
Well, we could win with this jury be-
cause in the voir dire, over and over
again, these jurors were questioned:
Do you think an adult should have the
right to see, read, listen to whatever he
or she chooses? And over and over

“The truth is
that there is no
evidence that any
type of censorship
or repression of
free speech increases

moral behavior.”

again, these people said yes.

SCHEER: I am concerned about the dis-
tinction that is made between what
might be considered elite eroticism and
what The New York Times referred to in a
film review as the “raincoat” crowd.
What we really should be talking about
is not developing a standard of safe art,
safe ideas but, rather, defending those
ideas that are provocative. Now, 2 Live
Crew is controversial precisely because
it has provocative ideas. It was rough,
abrasive, brutal. It's precisely those
ideas that most require protection. So I
warn against the tendency to separate
out the elite art, the museum art, from
the mass art available to those of us in
the raincoat crowd.

IS JOE COLLEGE A COWARD?

srieson: I wish to speak about the role
of our colleges and universities in this

crisis. Universities believe in academic,
intellectual and artistic freedo:
n that belief often hurts. I find 2 Live
Crew misogynist; I will not mention
Andrew Dice Clay. But I would not
deny 2 Live Crew or Clay a forum. 1
might picket against them, but I would
work to give them a forum on my cam-
pu

Universities also believe in reason.

They engage in the contestatory search
for truth. They think things through.
The university is the place to learn
about the different and about differ-
ence. Some universities have acted on
these virtues with a respect for free-
dom: the New School has gone to
court; the University of Towa Press,
Kenyon Review and Lehman College
Art Gallery have all turned down
grants, But 1 must report sadly that
higher education has either taken
money from NEA with a few grimaces
and a few words of regret or been a
small and still presenci this cultural
war. It has tiptoed away from its own
virtues and principles. ‘It has not de-
fended intellectual and artistic free-
dom passionately, systematically and
uniformly.
BARRIE: You know, the NEA has been in
a struggle since the Mapplethorpe
thing broke and it has had a hard tim
getting the arts organizations behind it
10 do the letters, the politicking and
the money raising that are needed to
save it. That was true of the Contem-
porary Arts Center. We stood alone for
a long time. The symphonies, the bal-
lets, the playhouses and other muse-
ums said, “It’s not our fight” Well,
indeed, it is their fight. We heard that.
over and over from the institutions
who should have seen right from the
beginning that their freedoms were at
stake. Clearly, if they could close us,
they could close them.

MORALITY OR FREEDOM

coLoBERG: Somehow, the other side
frames the issue as if it were a choice
between free speech on one hand and
morality on the other. And often, I
even hear people on our side say,
“Well, morality may be a problem, but
what about the First Amendment?" As
if that is the trade-off. The truth is that
there is no evidence that any type of
censorship or repression of free speech
increases moral behavior. All the evi-
dence shows the opposite.

The fact is that in the Soviet Union,
for forty or so years alter World War
legal to write or speak any-
mitic in public. In the
United States, we let Nazis march and,

clearly, forty or fifty years later, it's a
lot safer to be a Jew in the United
States with free speech than in the So-
viet Union that censored anti-
Semitism for forty years.
scuren: The political crusade in the
name of morality is analogous to com-
munism. The rhetoric of Newt Ging-
rich or Ronald Reagan resonates with
a lot of people whom we would not
normally consider to be right-wingers
or fascists or nuts. They are speaking
to a legitimate concern for morality in
our society. There is a tremendous in-
crease in divorce, a spiraling crime
an increase in racism. Those are
ate concerns. The idea of
morality is a legitimate one. Where
we screw up is in not explaining that
the people who came up vith this no-
tion of free speech were also con-
cerned about morality There's a
greater likelihood of moral behavior
in a free market place of ideas than in
one where government has power
over ideas.

Clearly, censors have a notion of
making people better by denying
them access to ideas that are suppos-
edly bad.
srınpson: There seems to be a hist
cal impulse to make some behavior
scapegoated or outcast behavior. The
content of that behavior changes
from culture to culture. Do I think we
should have a category called obscen-
ity? No. Do I think we should have a
category called pornography? No, I

don't.
LABEL LUST

coıpeerc: There's a retail chain in the
Northwest that stickered what it con-
sidered to be controversial records
before the record companies were
doing it and stickered all of Frank
Zappa's, including his all-instrumen-
tal album [laughter]. Later, [officials]
claimed that that had been an over-
sight. But it wasn't an oversight—it
was a conscious response to the fact
that Zappa had been marked as con-
troversial. There needs to be a coun-
tervailing pressure. If people are
caving in to one extreme point of
view, then the people who have the
majority point of view should make
their views known in the market place
of ideas.

stimpson: I have greater faith in read-
ers, writers and listeners than in peo-
ple who want labels slapped on. I also
agree with the people who think if
you're trying to protect your kids,
don't slap on a label.

IS SEX A DANGEROUS IDEA?

scueer: We know there are some peo-
ple around who just don't like sex,
and what can you do? But then,
there's this group that tries to devel-
op a constitutional argument. 1 do
not understand why sex has been sin-
gled out. You can be a racist, you can
attack people's religion, their skin
color. You can call for all kinds of vio-
lence and it's constitutionally protect-
ed. It's only if you try to get someone
sexually excited that you run into this
trouble. We have this weird special
standard that must be based—as far

"When are we
going to stop being
on the defensive and
assume a moral
high ground and

say God ordains

sexual expression?”

as 1 can figure—on the idea that sex-
ual ideas are either not ideas and
therefore not deserving of protection
or they are so dangerous that they
have to be regulated.

1 think we need more sexually ex-
plicit material. People are afraid to
say it's a good thing. I went to see
Henry & June. 1 came out and I could
say to the pickets outside, "This
should be constitutionally protected
You wouldn't watch this and go out
and rape someone." What I really
wanted to say was, "Hey, this is great
stuff. I was turned on. My life is better
because I went to this movie." Take a
movie like 9/2 Weeks. Why do we say it
should be defended because it has in-
teresting social ideas about fascism?
Why can't we say it should be defend-
ed because it arouses people to difler-
ent feelings and that’s part of the
human experience?

Barrie: I don't disagree with you; 9%
Weeks has it. OK, that should be
justification enough, but right now,
the Miller decision is all we're work-
ing with. And if we couldn't prove
that one prong—that if a reasonable
man can find scientific, educational,
artistic or political value in a work, it
is protected —1 would have been visit-
ing the Ohio facilities.

TIM WRIGHT (an audience member):
Mr. Scheer made a comment that was
very proactive, as opposed to defen-
sive, in saying that sexual expression
was actually a good thing. Having
grown up in a very religious back-
ground, it occurs to me that if you're
coming from a religious background,
you're always going to have that little
piece of baggage that sex is bad. But
when are people going to declare that
sex is God-ordained good? I'm ask-
ing, why dont we start a new reli-
gion? Why dont we write a new
Bible? For five thousand years, we've
been living with this Judaeo-Chris-
tian ethic that has made sexual ex-
pression out to be bad and we're
stuck with it. And you go to court and
people like the jurors think rationally
that, oh, yeah, this is OK. But if some
preacher comes along and pulls on
those childhood religious strings that
say sexis sinful or bad, people are go-
ing to flip-flop and vote against you.
What we need is a whole new revela-
tion that declares that, for instance,
homosexuals are chosen people or
that abortion is a sacrament. We've
got to say it is God-ordained, because
you'll always have the moral low
ground as long as you're arguing
against people who say, "But God
said. ..." When are we going to stop
being on the defensive and assume a
moral high ground and say God or-
dains sexual expression?

сорвенс: The emotional approach is
to say, “I don't want anyone telling
me what to do in my house." Believe
me, that sells to a lot of Christians.

PLAY BALL

parra: The day we received our ver-
dict was the same day the Cincinn:
Reds were playing the Pirates in the
play-off game. The verdict was an-
nounced at the game and the people
in the stadium stood up and cheered.
People cheered and cried in the
streets and hugged each other. I was
applauded in every news room in the
city. It was a great moment and it will
always remain a great moment.

N E W

S F R

O N T

what's happening in the sexual and social arenas

SPY IN THE SKY

HONOLULU—Operation Wipeout, а
joint-agency antidrug operation, decimat-
ed about 90 percent of Hawaii's marijua-
na crop this past summer, said the state's

attorney general, Warren Price. Price at-
tributed crop detection to “space-age intel-
ligence-gathering and photo-identification
methods.” Because the Pentagon was in-
volved in a highly classified part of the op-
eration, Some experts suspect that military
satellites were used. In addition, new heli-
copter-mounted nozzles, developed for ac-
curacy, sprayed 785,000 maryuana
plants with herbicide without harming sur-
rounding foliage. The head of the DEA in
Hawaii credits Operation Wipeout with
driving the street price of pol upward from
a low of $1600 per pound to as high as
$6000—nmaking it less affordable than co-
caine.

ANN ARBOR, MICHIGAN—A national Uni-
versity of Michigan survey of high school
seniors found that the percentage using pot
has dropped from 37 in 1978 to 16.7 in
1989. Those figures seem to support a
finding by the National Institute on Drug
Abuse that peer disapproval of pot smok-
ing increased from 48 to 71 percent in the

same period.
NO WORD

san FRANCISCO—Rock band MX-80 is
protesting censorship by not recording vo-
cal tracks. “They may take away the free-

dom of speech, but they can never take
away the freedom to shut up,” said lead
singer Rich Stim, urging other rockers to
follow his lead. The band’s new LE “Das
Love Boat,” is the first solely instrumental
recording to bear a warning thal some lis-
teners may find the material offensive.

AX: CANNABIS

WASHINGTON. D.c—The Food and Drug
Administration has authorized the use of
marijuana for some AIDS patients. Ac-
cording to Robert Randall, head of the
Alliance for Cannabis Therapeutics, pot
reduces the nausea, vomiting and weight
loss associated with AIDS. The FDA has
allowed marijuana use two dozen times
since 1976, when Randall, a glaucoma
sufferer, became the first person approved
lo use marijuana for medical reasons.
Randall's group aims to have the DEA re-
classify marijuana in order to make it
available on a prescription basis.

AND SURE ENOUGH. . .

BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA—Mills College
professor Diana Russell holds that pornog-
raphy leads to violence. The sociologist
may have proved her point when she and
two other female porn aficionados
stormed into a grocery store and an adult
bookstore in Bellingham, Washington, and
tore up copies of Playboy and other men’s
magazines. After being arrested and
charged with malicious mischief, Russell
said she had long known she would one
day take action.

LONDON—The British Home Office
commissioned two scholars to study
pornography studies conducted around the
world in order to document an association
between porn and violence. They found lit-
tle evidence. In fact, they found that some
pornography makes people less aggressive.
(Except antipornographers, evidently.)

SEX, DRUGS AÑO THE POPE

vatican crry—Pope John Paul H told
the International Federation of Catholic
Pharmacists that moral duty constrains
pharmacists from dispensing drugs that
can be used against life. Apparently refer-
ring to pills for birth control, abortion and
euthanasia, the Pope said, “In distributing
drugs, the pharmacist cannot renounce the
needs of his conscience in the name of the

rigid laws of the market.”

‘Meanwhile, Bishop Louis E. Gelineau
of Providence, Rhode Island, has refused
to let a local TV station broadcast church
services because il aired a three-part series
called “Love in the Rectory,” reporting on
sex in the Catholic priesthood.

MATRI-MONEY?

ANN ARBOR. MICHIGAN— Married men
earn on average 30.6 percent more than
unmarried men, according to a University
of Michigan survey. Three possible expla-
nations: Employers are more likely to hire
and promole married men, because they
find them more stable; women are more
likely to marry financially successful men;
married men work harder if they have to
support a wife and family.

ORGAN HEISTS

LAGOS, NIGERIA—AL least six men have
been beaten to death, stoned or shot in rots
over the alleged theft of people's sexual or-
gans. Fighting erupted in several streets
and market places after some citizens
claimed that a stranger had abducted their
genitals. The street crowd—believing that
some people have the power to steal penises

and women’s breasts by means of a hand-
shake or other casual contact—violently
attacked the accused. A senior police
Official said that medical examinations of
“theft” victims showed that "organs were
in their natural place and functioning.”

NAN PUE S

ON SEX

«SOUND BYTES...

n Nie # #%=

we listened in while the sex experts talked at their annual meeting

The topics range from achieving
sexual peaks to the seeming
evitability of divorce. No, we are not
talking about The Oprah Winfrey Show
in sweeps week. Every year, members
of the Society for the Scientific Study
of Sex assemble to present papers,
opinions and hypotheses to their
peers. This year, we asked Marty
Klein, a California-based therapist, to
eavesdrop.

ULTIMATE SEX

“Intense eroticism is almost never
neat and clean. When I asked people
10 anonymously describe their most
memorable encounters, virtually ev-
eryone's story was clearly energized
by obstacles to be surmounted, rules
to be broken or dangers to be avoid-
ed—and yet embraced. Surprises
firsts of all kinds and. overwhelmed
expectations also abounded

ants said they felt pro-
foundly validated and cared for, if
only for a moment. This holds true
whether the encounte

experiences fulfill deep vearnings."—
JACK MORIN, PH.D, sex therapist

WORTHY OR FLIRTWORTHY?

“Our experiment compared col-
lege women who received positive
feedback about their creativity from a
flirtatious ‘ad executive’ with women
who received the same positive feed-
back neutrally. The women who re-
ceived the flirtatious feedback rated
themselves lower in self-evaluations
than the other group did. Apparently,
women interpreted the flirty praise as

ere and began to doubt thei
own abilities."—anrniur SATTERFIELD,
MA, and CHARLENE NUEILENHARD,
psychologists at the Univers
Kansas

RAPEED

“There is now evidence that col-
leges can actually do something to
change students attitudes toward
rape. Our study of almost five hun-
dred undergraduates showed that a
month after hearing a rape-education
lecture, students were less supportive
of rape myths than other students

were. Induding such a lecture in stu-
dent-orientation activities may have
positive results." — pwut JONES. мл, and
CHARLENE MUERLENHARD, PHD, psycholo-

gists at the Uni

THE SEX!

he route to ii

eroticism is quite different from what
the public and most pal be-
lieve and pursue. It actually involves
helsing people grow up, accept that
they're going to die one day and
understand that true

intimacy and sexual

passion inevitably in-

volve disappointment

and раі." рало м

SCHNARCH, PHD, — sex

therapist at LSU Medi.

cal Center

TERRORIZING TEENAGERS

"We need to help
young people become
sexually healthy adults.
We must not sacrifice
the sexual rights of
young people—their
rights to AIDS informa-
tion, sexuality educa-
tion, — family- planning
programs, ^ abortion
services. We cannot say

to the teenagers of America, ‘Just say

no—or dic. "—DpEBRA HAFFNER, execu-
tive director of SIECUS

EXCELLENT ORGASMS

“Our unconscious, socialized fear
of losing reality interferes with our
ability to be profoundly aroused. As a
result, most people rush to have in-
tercourse prematurely, They impa-
tiently start it before they get
fully—and that means wildly—
aroused. Their orgasm is then incom-
plete—it cannot be an altered state of
consciousness. . . .

“That is why people are not sexual-
ly satisfied. Unconsciously uncom-
fortable with intense arousal, they go
for a relatively quick release rather
than savoring and building the
arousal and going for a profoundly
satisfying intercourse only when it

is totally; overwhelmingly inescap-
ти, psycholo-

FOURYEAR ITCH

is divorce in virtually every
society around the world, which fol-
lows a remarkably uniform patiern
Why do people everywhere tend to
divorce right around the fourth y

of marriage, du

“In today's hunting and gathering
societies—the model for all our hu-
man ancestors—ontinuous nursing
and high levels of exercise
ovulation. This creates a natural birth
spacing of about four years. So the
marriage duration around the world.
corresponds to the histoi

birth interval of four years. . .

"Why should human pair bonds be
permanent? Monogamy and adultery
go hand in hand. If you ignore the
polite social myths about what hu-
mans supposedly do, you see the
productive/sexual strategy as it has
always been: serial monogamy and
clandestine adultery. If we survive as

species, this will also be our patte:

a million years from now."—HeLes
нне mao, anthropologist at the
American Museum of Natural Histo-
ry, New York.

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Reporter's Notebook

LET'S HEAR IT FOR MARIE OSMOND

as long as we're dying lo defend saudi arabia,
lets try it with our values intacl

So—what do we do with Saudi Arabi
Once we save it?

Like Fido chasing the hubcap on a
speeding car—whars doggie supposed
to do once he catches it?—the mass
intervention into one ofthe world's most
isolated regimes raises questions the
Bush Administration would just as soon
avoid. No matter what the fate of Sad-
dam Hussein, Saudi Arabia will never be
the same, Like it or not, its future is very
much in our hands: The cop who walks
away alter breaking up a domestic fight
often has made matters worse.
The tip-off to the moral hypocrisy
of Operation Desert Shield came when
the Administration agreed not to let the
troops get boxing magazines, sce the
Bob Hope show uncensored or show
the ious medallions they wear
around their necks. In one fell swoop,
some ol the most sacred tokens of Amer-
lile were sacrificed to the sensitivi-
of hard-line Saudis who detest our
way of life. They judge Boxing Hlustrated
magazine to be pornographic because of
photos of men in boxing trunks. One
Rolling Stone issue was also banned for an
objectionable cover. as w
Life on ligious theme.
The Saudi royal family bent to the will
of rhe most 1 them, and
so did the U.S. authorities. Here were
US. troops defending the sovereignty of
a regime that ve s and most oth-
er Americans as infidels, and it was ban-
ning nor what its citizens could read but

How did it come to pass that this na-
which has withheld. nc
tions and,
governments because of imperfections
in their human-rights records, has asked
its young to die defending
world's most primitive totalitarian na-
tion Why was the U.S. Government so
cager to ape the mannerisms of that
ıe? And what docs the fact that they
cept Americans as defenders only
y forgo alcohol, pinups and symbols
of Christ tell us about our Saudi allies?
1 don't sce how the Marine Corps can
ny man to hide his religious faith,”
- Corporal. Michael Collins said

rmal rela-

indeed, even overthrown

e of the

y them—why are we kis-
2 That very image would

an edition of

opinion By ROBERT SCHEER

be enough to have Corporal Collins
hand cut off, or worse.

But a world of understanding is con-
tained in that question. What divides us
from the Saudis is our belief in whether
ог пог à govern right to
suppress religious and other views in the
name of an established moral code.

The Marine Corps cant legally ask
anyone to hide his faith without violating
. Constitution. The separation of
h and state stems from the recogni-
tion of the basic tenet that the state shall
make no law establishing a religion. It is
aimed at enhancing rather than cu
ing the ability of people to practice the
own religious and nonreligious beliels.
The Saudi exp псе demonst
once again why such separation is neces-
ary for the protection of minority vi

Obviously, the Saudis don't believe in
the separation of church and state. Quite
the opposite. Th ious police,
armed. with switches 10 strike exposed
female limbs and the power to arrest
Christian-cross or Jewish-star w
enlorce the world’s tightest th

In my town in Southern (
the fundamentalist ministers go nuts
attempts to keep Christ out of Christmas
in the public schools or government
ollices. Tell them they cant have а
éche in Anaheim and the walls come
ng down, But I heard n peep
jI of them, or any oth: ent
leaders—rel
US.
s pu
past Chi

The apologia was
widespread. Even Bob. Hope gutted his
aditional show for the troops "bec
the king is running
their religi d the

e, they have
ls and you
So Hope

ds for and agreed to leave women—
»duding Ann Jillian, Marie Osmond
d the Pointer Sisters—ou of the show
the desert. "When 1 got to the plane,
e will be no girls,” Hope
Is a religious thing.”

a freedom thing,
Hope at the request ol
the Saudis, the U.S, Government was al-
so endorsing the Saudi view of wome
Respect for another religion has n

in
they said, “Th
id, addin
No, it's not,
By censorin;

10 do with accepting the rules of a state-
run theocracy when it violates basic hu-
из.
"it a basic human right to dis-
play the symbol of one's own religi
be ita crossor a Star of David? Evidenily
not, according to the Pentagon, which,
n an ollicial policy statement on wor-
ship, said, “As the gu ıs of Islam's
holy places, the Saudis restrict the overt
practice of proselytizing of any religion
other than Islam. . . . Our personnel.
whether Jewish, Christian or any other
faith, are free to practice their religion
long as they do so in a discreet manner."
Meaning that crosses and Stars of David
were even more suppressed than they
had been under Communist totalitarian
regimes. And the Commies usually
didn't hassle foreigner

Following on this directive, Gls, a
ng to The New York Times, were
warned not to discuss their religious E
Tiefs with Saudis and not to take Bibles
outside their compound. They are told
that in public settings, their religious
services should be described as "fellow-
p meetings’ and their chaplains iden-
tified only as ‘morale officers." In short,
they were instructed to lie to the Saudi
locals about who they really were and
what they believed, making them just
terrific ambassadors of democracy

Of course, the point is that the Ameri-
troops were not ambassadors of
democracy but, hi mercenaries
hired by the Saudis to protect their king-
dom—hired direcily through cash dis-
bursements ni the billions
d indirectly by the promise of low oil
prices. The U.S. didn't want to do any-
thing to challenge th di way of lile,
se it was there to protect that life
lenges—includ-
ing Silent Night. Around
to The New York

soldiers meeting with the jour-
lists have been urged by their com-

to discuss the holiday's
ice and. il Chr
reporters, to stick to
ious tunes like Jingle Bells.”

m the matter of offending the
host Saudis, the m
stricting media coverage on the ground
u the Iragi government would use it
for propaganda (concluded on page 153)

lers

(mas

HOORAY
FOR ES реса 3
HOLLYWOOD; ion E ie

Canadian Cb”
A PREMIUM WHISKY, UNRIVALED IN QUALITY AND SMOOTHNESS SINCE 1858,

402a ої Blended Caradian Whisky. Imported in Battie by Hiram Walla and Sonu, Inc Farmington His M © 1991
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PLAYBOY INTERVIEW: MARTIN SCORSESE

a candid conversation with the director of “raging bull” and “goodfellas” about
violence in films, working with robert de niro and the oscar he's yet to win

As unlikely as it seems, Martin Scorsese has
never made a picture that was a mega box
office hil. Of course, that’s easy enough to un-
derstand: Scorsese's films don't take place in
outer space or in. Beverly Hills. They never
feature precocious kids, ambitious secretaries,
ghost chasers, fraternity high-jinks, the un-
dead in hockey masks nor any kind of military
equipment. Even when his subject matter par-
allels the stuff hits are made from, Scorsese's
vision is unique: His Mafia lives and works
in the streets, not in a posh family compound;
when Scorsese went lo the boxing ring, lus
pugilist was a self-destructive putz, not a
Come-from-behind hero. As if that were not
enough to court box-office disaster, Scorsese
avoids two subjects that most moviegoers
crave: sex and romance.

While the result will never be “Batman
"Rocky" nar even “Home Alone,” Scorsese oc-
cupies a singular place in American cinema.
"1 He's] one of a handful of American толе
direclors whose movies really malter.” says
critic David Ansen. He has won the Golden
Palm at Cannes and numerous filmcrilics
awards (the New York, the Los Angeles and
the National Society associations named
“GoodFellas” best picture of the year and
Scorsese best director). He has been nominal-
ed for an Academy Award two times as Best
Director but has yet to win. Some of lus associ-
ates have been luckier: Paul (“The Color of

“We had some good times, but eventually, 1
began to ask myself what this life ultimately
was going ta be like, Were we going to hit
the ultimate party? Meet the ullımate young
woman? The ultimate drug? What? No!”

Money") Newman, Robert (“Raging Bull”)
De Niro and Ellen (“Alice Doesn't Live Here
Anymore”) Burstyn all won Oscars under his
direction.

After making some student films, Scorsese
worked as a teacher in New York University's
cinema department from 1968 to 1971.
Since then, he has made 13 major motion pic-
tures, four documentaries (including “The
Last Waltz”), twa Giorgio Armani commer-
cials, an episode of “Amazing Stories" and a
music video, Michael Jackson's “Bad.” He
has also done film editing (notably, “Wood-
stock”), producing (Stephen Frearys “The
Grifters”) and acting (he has made 14 brief
appearances in movies ranging from his own
to Akira Kurosawa's “Dreams” and the up-
coming “Guilty by Suspicion” [reviewed in
this issue]. And then there are the hundreds
of hours spent passionately hounding anyone
who will listen about the necessity of film
preservation and the evils of colorization.

His 20-year career has been both illustrious
His first three major films—"Mean
Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore”
laxi Driver —instantly catapulied him
into the top rank of directors. But he followed
thal trio with a well-intentioned but costly
failure, “New York, New York,” and found
himself a Hollywood outcast. Both his private
life and his films have been dogged by contro-
versy. When an obsessed “Taxi Driver" fan

—

“Random violence perplexes me. Violence in
films today is so abstract. Horror films and the
disemboseling of people. 1 don't know what's
happened to our society. 1 don't know why we
haze to see ony entrails being dragged out."

shot Ronald Reagan, the film was blamed.
“The Last Temptation of Christ" was picket-
ed, vilified and boycolled—even Scorsese's
parents were castigated. On the personal
front, he nearly died from a bout with drugs
He has been marvied four times, divorced
three, including once from actress Isabella
Rossellin
Whether he was in favor or out, Scorsese
still managed to make memorable films
“Raging Bull” is widely considered to be one
of the best movies—if not the best mavie—of
the Eighties, Few directors have even attempt-
ed to plumb the depths of whan despair
voked in movies such as “Mean Streets,”
Taxi Driver" and “Good Fellas.” His artistry
has yielded dozens of classic scenes: De Niro
shadowboxing under the opening credis of
Raging Bull”; De Niro asking his mirror
image, “You talkin’ to me?" in “Taxi Driver”:
Willem Dafoe as Christ pulling lus heart from
Jus chest; De Niro, Joe Pesci and Ray Езопа
segmenting a dead gangsters body for a hur-
ried burial in "GoodFellas." Scorsese's cam-
era slips, slides and pries into his characters"
public and private lives—lives often without
redeeming qualities.
en when working closer to the main-
“The Color of Money
lice Doesn't Live Н,
the eerie “The King of Comedy”
coming genre thriller “Cape Fear”), Scorsese

PHOTOGRAPHY BY PHILLIP V CARUSO
“Most of the pictures I make deal with worlds
in which the men predominate, Don't belier
that nonsense that the man runs the house. No
way. Bul it still says "Соога" and the
men chopped up the bodies, not the women.”

PLAYBOY

routinely eschews the commercial approach in
favor of personal subtext. When he directed
w York, New York." with De Niro and
Liza Minnelli, he couldn't resist using the film
as a dark mirror. Years later, “Life Lessons,”
Scorsese's segment of the "New York Stories"
trilogy, was a discourse on an artists depend-
ence on borrowing creative inspiration from
the pain of his deteriorating romantic rela-
tionships. His films resonate with echoes of his
childhood in New York's Little Haly on the
Lower East Side, where he grew up with the
violence, the wise guys and the Halian
Catholic mystique that shape and color so
much of his work.

Currenily separated from his fourth wife,
producer Barbara De Fina (despite their mar-
ital. difficulties, they still work together), and
living in New York, Scorsese is certainly no
pariah in Hollywood. Now rehabilitated and
redeemed, he has become an éminence grise in
the entertainment industry, having demon-
strated his ability to direct more traditional
movies, such as “The Color of Money,” as well

as produce on-budget films for other directors.
“The establishment joined Marty, nol vice ver-
sa,” maintains his friend Steven Spielberg,
producer of Scorsese's

who is the execul
remake of “Cape Fear” With the success of
“Good Fellas,” the possibility of an Oscar for
the maverick director seems less elusive.

Playboy sent Contribuling Editor David
Rensin fo meel with Scorsese in Fort Lau-
derdale, Florida, just four days before “Cape
Fear” started filming. Rensin reports:

"The interview took place in Scorsese's rent-
ed home. For each session, he appeared at the
appointed hour weaving a pressed shirt. olive
slacks and a wide belt with a formidable buck-
le—though Jor our final meeting, on the
morning of his forty-eighth birthday, he was
shoeless, unshaven, wearing jeans and a blue
T-shirt. F' still unsure if he was finally relax-
ing or just happy the interview would soon be
over, allowing hum to turn to the more pressing
business of beginning a molion picture.

“Scorsese's wiry intensity offsets his obvious
fragility. He speaks in brisk cadences, punctu-
ated by deep breaths and routine use of his
handy asthma inhaler and nose drops. In fact,
he prefaced our opening talk with a history of
his lifelong. asthma problem and its various
medications; and it was as detailed and im-
passioned as a later explanation of why he has
become bored with questions about violence in
his films.

“His focus and range required uncommon
energy. To ask а question meant being pre-
pared for a one-sentence answer, followed by a
five-minute detour into film history or philo-
soplar speculation.

“For a guy saddled with such a serious rep-
ulation, Scorsese langhed often and mania-
cally loud, his lips stretching into a wild,
teeth-baring smile, Although we ended up
meeting four limes—twice as many as
planned—and then talked more on the phone,
that first morning. Scorsese seemed unsure of
what to expect. He appeared agitated and
somewhat preoccupied but nonetheless al-
tacked the job at hand with ferocity. We made

some initial chat about a possible forthcoming
Oscar nomination for ‘Goodfellas,’ but the
subject quickly turned to anxiety.”

PLAYBOY: All three major film-critics' or-
ganizations have named Goodfellas as
best picture best director.
Now it's Academy Award time. Do you
want to go out on a limb and predict if
this is finally you r for an Osc
SCORSESE: What does "This is your yea
mean, ultimately? When you're an asth-
matic kid from the Lower East Side and
you're watching television and you're
movie-obsessed because the mo and
church arc all your parents will let vou
go to, then I suppose it means a great
deal. [Pauses] 1 get chills now thinking
about the Academy Awards televised in

as E grew up. I
they give you

e. Alfred Hitcheock
one. Orson Welles never got
one. Cary Grant, Marilyn Monroe. Ex-
vthing has to be kept in perspective. И
it doesn't mean that GoodFellas is

"When they give you an
Oscar, it doesn't mean
it's always for your
best picture.
Alfred Hitchcock
never got one."

better directed than Raging Bull or Alice
Doesn't Live Here Anymore. | think a great
deal of the Academy, but much of it has
to do with timing. The only thing you
can do is make more pictures. In other
words, it’s the old story: You keep prov-
ing yourself time alter time after time.
[Smiles] It's like this Playboy Interview:
Where were you ten years ago?
PLAYBOY: Well, you've reached a certain
level, and

SCORSESE: Reached a certain level? 1
didn’t reach that level with Raging Bull
ten years ago? I certainly did: it’s the
: i Ive been making lor
1 think people just began
nd and realize that. And
maybe you've interviewed everyone else
so there's only me around. And while you
were doing all the other people, Scor-
sese's still chopping away and making
these pictures.

PLAYBOY: Back to the Oscars. You do
want one, dont you?

SCORSESE: I'd love to have a bunch of Os-
rs. It would be fun, But I'm at a point
my lile where Um just happy enough
to make the pictures. But 1 feel good

lm-critics
d love the
d prize again in Cannes if 1 could
GoodFellas got the Golden Pit
d [lor insensitivity}, along with the
p opera Santa Barbara. |

good, because I don't w
be 100 respectable.
PLAYBOY: Let's talk about the work. Why
do you direct?

SCORSESE: I don't think | can do anything
else.

PLAYBOY: You can give us a better answer

hat was
Gaod Fellas vo

ic diffic
things happen that I really enjoy. Act
do something that | don't expect, or

there perfectly: You
cks a great deal

moving image. It’s like a miracle to me.
Tm obsessed with those sprocket holes.
Sometimes, in editing, we stop on the lit
ue frame and go, “Look!” Perhaps it's
halt-Hash-framed because it’s the end of
the tape. Or the expression on the ac-
tors face 15 so beautiful we have the
frame printed up and we put it on the
wall. And then putting music on: the mu
sic in Good Fellas or Taxi Driver. 1 just want
to listen to it ov nd over. Tho:
the joys, the rewards. That's it. Tha
lot.

PLAYBOY: What are the problems?
SCORSESE: On certain films, eve
anxiety-producing, just wonderi
going to get enough done for the
going to be the
shots that I had planned, the perfor-
mances I had worked on. Let alone if it
was going to be any good. Another prob-
lem. of course, is not having enough
money to make the picture.

PLAYBOY: lis never enough, is it?
SCORSESE: Well, when vou really know
enough, thal can be a problem, too.
PLAYBOY: In four days, you'll start shoot-
ing a new film, Cape Fear, with Robert De
Niro, Nick Nolte, Jessica Lange and oth-
er surprise sta re you excited)
SCORSESE: I’m nervous.

But you've made thirteen

day

g complacent about
the ability to make films. If Fm not ner-
then there's something to be ner-

vou:

k lately. Good Fellas is
widely respected: Life Lessons, your sec-
tion of New York Stories, was the best
меме last year, Raging Bull
was selected as the best film of the Eight
des by nsortium of “hlm-world nota-
bles” in Premiere magazine. Doesn't that
inspire ol self con-

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PLAYBOY

ard made me feel real-
ly good, especially after five or six ye
the Eighties when I had trouble with
The Last Temptation of Christ and made
After Hours and The Color of Money. Even
the British, in Time Ош magazine, had
the hundred best films of all

member we had a lot of champ.
cause Raging Bull had been ca
best picture of the р:
birthda
ike hav been
membered. That was nice.
PLAYBOY: So even though you told Paul
Schrader in 1982 that you'd rather be
ılfilled than remembered, you do like
being remembered.
SCORSESE: Oh, dont believe anything I
said back then. [Laughs] Being remem-
bered is what it's all about. [ts all a way
of getting past the notion of death.

Woody Allen always talks about it.
Maybe at the ume 1 felt that way. I
thought the only thing. going for me

then was being fulfilled by knowing my
work had been good.
PLAYBOY: Meaning?
SCORSESE: І felt good about Raging Bull,
but 1 thought while making it that. peo-
ple would be repulsed. Some were, and 1
don't blame them. Irs not everybody's
cup of tea. Ht was a very strong picture.
But most of the pictures I ma
made with “the audienc
don't mean that badly; I mean tha
the audience. Raging Bull is a special
movie for me. t was made on a purely
personal level and [ knew a lot of people
wouldn't go for it. It was kamikaze film
making. 1 just poured everything | knew
into the film—threw it all in without car-
ing what anyone thought. It was done
with such passion that I figured, If they
then ГИ have no choice.
Vil have to go away, do documentaries
about saints in Rome. I suspected my ca-
reer would be over

Instead, we got some wonderful feed-
back right away. And all those Academy
ominations. [De Niro won the Best Ac-
tor Oscar: Thelma Schoonmaker won
for Best Editing. I'm not complaining.
And remember, nobody had a print of
the film until three or four days before it
opened. It wasn't like GoodTllas, where
we had three months to work on publi-
ciring it
PLAYBOY: Isn't it true that at one time,
iake the picture?
1 didn’t really want to
do Raging Bull: Bob [De Niro] wanted to.
And I didn't really understand it until a
period of excess I was going through,
which landed me in the hospital, was
over. I didn't understand w the film
was going to be about from my side
п Bob's point of view, it was some
thing else. But then I found my hook.
When I made it through and I was all

right, and I survived, 1 understood what
the movie was about.

PLAYBOY: Which was?
SCORSESE: Sell-destruction. | understood
the character I wanted Jake to be. That's
why I made the ending as I did. Jake
able to reach some sort of peace with
himself, and then subsequently with the
people around him. He’s able to look a
himself in the mirror and talk to himself,
ss from On the Waterfront, flat.
You want to put meanings into the lines?
e. Those aren't the meanings that
were talking about. Its just flat. He
takes it easy on himself and the people
around him. That was a goal that / want
ed to get to

PLAYBOY: How did De Niro act as а cata-
lyst?
SCORSESE: He kept pushing until finally I

saw what | needed to see in it. I got out
of the hospital and went to Italy for a
week or two. When 1 came back, Bob
and I went to an island and spent three
weeks rewriting the script. Fhat was the
epitome of the collaboration.

PLAYBOY: Maybe De Niro pushed you to
do that because he wanted you to see
what you, personally, needed to see.
SCORSESE: No, 1 don't think so at all.
[Pauses] Well, when he came to talk to me
m the hospital, yes, to in extent. |
think he really loved the project and
wanted to get it made.

PLAYBOY: You mention a period of ex-
cess. That was when you were room-
mates with the Band's Robbie Robertson
in the Hollywood Hills. Wh

pened?
SCORSESE: pretty self-destructive.
Lucky to 1 nearly died.

But I did it; it's over.
PLAYBOY: Did what?
SCORSESE: | Uncomfortable] Knock around,
party alter party.
PLAYBOY: Drugs
SCORSE: Whatever. Everything you
could get your hands on. We had some
good times, but eventually, I began to
k myself, What was this life ultimately
going to be like? Were we going to hit the
ultimate party? Meet the ultimate young
woman? The ultimate drug? What? No!
PLAYBOY: When did you realize that?
SCORSESE: Toward the end. Of course,
Robbie and I had extremely creative
discussions. We'd. have
r house on Mulhall:
we'd screen movies— Jean Cocteau, Sam
ler, Luchino Visconti—all night. We'd
close off all the windows so we didn't see
any light coming up in the morni:
didn't want any light coming in. It r
got to the point where I got so bewil-
dered by it all that I couldn't function
creatively. E realized that something had
to be done about my having “checked
out" this way of lif
PLAYBOY: Checked out? Come on. This
La case of mere curiosity.
SCORSESE: Whatever you want to call it
It's a symptom of my having developed

later in life than other people. You go
out and say, Well, I'm going to have
some fun. Its like watching some old
cartoon where people do stupid things.
lt ge y boring after a while. I was
ng out like a child would.

All that stulF eventually found its way
to Raging Bull. 1 also put some of it in-
to The Last Waltz, In fact, when I fin
The Last Waltz, 1 thought that it w
best work that I had done. Th:
felt, And I still wasn't |
good work wasn't mak
Thats when I had to
out what was going on

1 а rumor that you
had to alter the final print of The Last
Walz in order to excise some cocaine vis-
le on Neil Young's nose. Is that true
SCORSESE: We had to fix it because the
song is so beautiful. The audience's eyes
would have gone right to that in the
middle of Helpless, Plus, it’s such a beau-
tiful, moving shot—simple and emotion-

"s what I
Even the
пс happy.

tto find

al. It cost ten thousand dollars or
something. 1 think Neil has the contact
framed.

PLAYBOY: How did those years end?

SCORSESE: | started to physically fall
apart. Toward the end of the summer of
778, during the week, I'd spent maybe
three days in bed, because 1 couldn't
function. Maybe, maybe two and a half
days of work. It got to the point where
I couldn't work anymore, and then

realized, What am I doing? Well, I
I did it all, so I'd beuer move on
PLAYBOY: Is there a reason you haven't
used the word cocaine in reference to
your excesses, considering what we've
just discussed?
SCORSESE: Using it reminds me of people
telling all. 1 just don't like it. 1 do thi
nt for people to understand
› through excess, whether
you're using cocaine, speed, liquor or
whatever you can get your hands on,
you're going to reach the point of what
excess is all about. That is, you re:
that you havea choice: You can either
under—die in your sleep like F
binder—or stop it. That's all it's about, il
there's any message for people
this. [Pauses] I'm just embarrassed
too much breast-baring. Look at my
movie The emotion; the vio-
lence, the anger, the rage, the childish-
ness. I's all there.

PLAYBOY: You've said before that ye
your films as personal therapy.
SCORSESE: Yeah, that was another stupid
thing Гуе said—as if there's an inne
rage in you when you make, say, Taxi
Driver, and at the end of it, you think the
n expelled. It hasn't. No
movie is going to do that for you.
PLAYBOY: Bearing in mind the very p:
sonal nature of the experiences that fed
Raging Bull, how did you feel in 1981, at
the Academy Awards, when Ordinary

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PLAYBOY

film that is not on anybody's
of-the-decade list, won Best Pic-
Redlord got the Oscar

People,
ten-be:

a good picture. |
ught I had a good chance. But I real-
ized I wasn't going to get it when the Di-
rectors Guild didn't give me its Best
Director of the Year. Usually. Oscar-win-
ning films arc certain kinds of pictures.
The year Citizen Kane was nominated,
John Ford's How Green Was My Valley
won, A wonderful picture. Is about
family. Its а good, wholesome film,
more in the mainstream and casier to
take. So 175 more understandable that a
ing Miss Daisy rather than a Born on
urth of July or an Ordinary People
her than a Raging Bull would win.
PLAYBOY: When did you realize
weren't mainstream?

SCORSESE: Actually, I thought I w
New York, New York. I thou
ing to be a blockbuste
homage to the style of the m
late Forties and c;
ters grafted onto it who are more out of
Scenes from a Marnage or a John
vetes picture. It was a naturalistic doc-
umentary approach.

But the more we shot, the more mon-
y it cost and the more I got involved
with the reality of the characters. I knew
they weren't going to wind up together
at the end, and I knew that the picture
wasn't going to do anything at the box
office. Í had changed whatever was com-
mercial about it to something more ex-
perimental and, again, person:
PLAYBOY: How shocking was the tion
to New York, New York, considering your
earlier successes?

Three films people loved—or
1 they got a strong reception: Mean
Streets, Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore and
ахі Driver. The minute New York, New
York came ou such ridicule. 1
ide me think, What the hell am I do-
here? Up to that point, I thought Га.
belonged. within the industry and the
Hollywood tradition of classic directors.
A real director is someone who can do a
swashbuckler, then a Jilm noir, then a
gangster picture, then a love story. They
had a great deal of range: they were pros
who could probably have don пу-
thing. I always wanted to be that kind of
director. But after New York, New York,
valved the system was over.
There was no way I could get that back
know what I was
going to do with my life
PLAYBOY: Why. when it's clea

so respecte

you

unül

go-
isa

studio

even wanl to be mainst
SCORSESE: Well, | don't want to be con-
sidered an adjunct to the business,
ne se e pu
y the margins. All my life, Гуе be
the outside. A good example: 11
nia more than ten years, but
every party I went to—and I went to

tol

oy party—there was one person who
would say, “Well, how long you out here
for?" Fd s No, no, I live h Or
they'd come into my house and say, “You
ting this?” “No, I bought it.” [t's
t kind of thing,

PLAYBOY: And you were an outsider a
kid, too?

SCORSESE: Right fiom the beginning, be-
ause of my asthma. | couldn't join in

and play stickball. In the summertime,
they'd open the fire hydrants. Water
would go all over the street, and 1 was
never allowed to go into that. That

ule kid behind a

sounds likc some poor
window staring at kids playing, but th
really wha

it was. So my parents would
take me to the movies a lot.

PLAYBOY: Was it fear of being an outsider
thar eventually made you direct me
stream films, such as After Hours
nd The Color of Mone’
SCORSESE: No. It was just a good way of
getting back into shape after The Last
Temptation tell through. 1 got a big dose
of humility. 1 didn't bang any "walls,
though. 1 decided to get stronger and
rehabilitate myself. 1 realized I
couldnt walk into a film anymore
say, “OK, it’s going to take as long as it
takes.”

PLAYBOY: Or cost as much as it costs.
SCORSESE: There were three pictures
where | didn’t really worry about the
oney: New York, New York, Raging Bull
and The King of Comedy. Those films were
made in a period when it was a little eas-
т. King of Comedy was maybe three
hours a day shooting —bun 1 was tired,
had just had pneumonia and had to st
the picture belore I was ready because of
an imminent directors’ strike. Now I
shoot ten hours. By the end of that film,
1 realized I wouldn't be able to sustain a
career that way any longer. Also, a few
days alter Raging Bull came out, Heaven's
Gale was released by the same studio.
‘That was the end of complete autonomy
budgetwise for most directors. And I re-
ized that with less money, in most cas-
es, you have more freedom to make the
of a chance of s

at why The Color of Money,
y Tom Cruise and Paul Newman,
s so traditional? Is not exactly a
Scorsese picture

PLAYBOY: Funny. Spielberg also said he
lt that The Color of Money w
Scorsese pienire- And he's r
litional sense. It became a
film. 1 couldn't believe it. I didn't do it
ally. We applied the same prin-
ciples of production, which was very low
budget, that we u flex Hours to a
picture with a big star like Paul New-
standards seemed to work
favor. We ca
half under budget.
as working with Newm

ed ot

ne dna

n in-

timidating?

SCORSESE: Ves. In the beginning, my talks

ith him were a little difficult for me. It
s the "under twenty-one syndrome"
that Woody Allen spoke about in trying
10 direct Van Johnson in The Purple Rose
of Cairo. When he was under twenty-one,
Woody had seen Johnson in so many
mowies that he was like an idol. Newman.
was an idol to me and it was tough to be
fully myself until I understood what he
needed.

PLAYBOY: What did he need?

SCORSESE; A reason for making the film.
PLAYBOY: For ihat film, of all films?
SCORSESE; He never felt that there
should have been a sequel to The Hustler.
PLAYBOY: But hc came to you, didn't he?
SCORSESE: Yeah. In this business, you say,
"Well, lec: s sec if so-and-so can do some-
thing with it. Maybe if this guy comes up
with something, 1 might really think
about it seriously." He didn't believe at
the time in the continuation of charac-
ters in different movies. So I told him, "I
just don't believe that Fast Eddie" Felson
would give up. He'd become something
else. He'd become everything he hated.
He'd become the character George C
Scott was.” Newman was skeptical. Or
cautious. But he thought what I'd said
was interesting. | came up with the idea
of doing sort of a road movie: take a
young boy under his wing and teach the
kid all these terrible things. Corrupt the
kid and then be s OWN cor-
iption, until he does what he was sup-
posed to do all his life, anyway: play the
game. Maybe not win but play the game.
PLAYBOY: Can you describe the ideal film
you'd like to make?

SCORSESE: Pictures that interest me as
much as possible personally, are experi-
mental and stay within the system some-
how so that they can be shown in
theaters. I've always tried to blend "per-
sonal” movies with being inside the in-
dustry. A lot of my success has to do with
sacrifice: being paid very little for certain
types of pictures and learning to work
on a very, very small budget
PLAYBOY: Isn't that increasingly difficult
in the era of the megahit?

SCORSESE: Yeah. I've got to be lucky just
to make fifty or sixty million dollars ona
picture. 1 have a great love for organized
studios in Hollywood and the way the

system works. TI argue, ГЇЇ discuss, ГЇЇ
complain and ГЇЇ say, “Yeah, but if you're
making too many films that you expect

to make two hundred million dollars on,
where are the new people going to come
m?" And, sure enough, there's a won-
sturdiness about independent
king in America. For example,
was Tim Burton a few years ago?
Doing smaller pictures. It isn’t as if we
got some who had worked ten,
fifteen y ect Bat-
mau
hundred-million-dollar epic.
PLAYBOY: You once said thai
pect of Mean Streets was that
Johnny Boy don't die, they go on. You've

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NEW STERLING

PLAYBOY

had some hard personal times. Have you
ever not wanted to keep living?

SCORSESE: Only when I was a kid. | read
the book The Heart of the Matter, by Gr
ham Greene. Scobie is the characte!
name. As 1 remember, his wife had been
hurt in an accident, so they couldn't
make love anymore. There's an airplane
h and he nurses one of the vi
ck to health. She's a young woman.
and he falls in love with her. He cant
leave his wife and he can't stop the adul-
By the end, he decides to commit
le. because he can't go on offending

terv

Cod

1 had those thoughts when I was
teen

lifieen or 1 was encounter

natural impure thoughts, mas-
turbation, the whole thing. I thought
that if these impurities continued, then

be E should do what Scobie did. But
then 1 said it in confession to my parish
priest, whos now dead, and he said,
“No, no, no. You mustn't think those
thoughts.” [Laughs] 3 guess 1 took it oo
seriously
PLAYBOY: When did you make your
confession
SCORSESE: Oh, 1965, I think. I've been
confessing most of the time since then on
film, so it doesn’t matter, My old friends
who are priests, they look at my films
and they uow. Still, 1 can't help being re-
ligious. Fm looking for the connection
between God and man, like everybody
else. Some say there is no God, and that
the end of the connection. We exist and.
then we don't exist.
PLAYBOY: Do you belie
SCORSESE: | believe the
the less you know.
PLAYBOY: When do you feel the most
Catholicz
SCORSESE: When Im making pictures
like Cape Fear. Bob De Niro's character,
Max, is the avenging angel, in a way
Nick Nolte and Jessica Lange's chara
ters, Sam and Leigh, are representative,
for me, of humanity. They're basically
good people who have had some hard
times and are trying to go through them
and piece their lives together. Now
they re being tested, like Job, by Max.
PLAYBOY: Can't you help yourself from
Catholicizing everything?
SCORSESE: [Laughs] No. It's an embar-
rassment. It just seems to fall into place
that way. I have to ground everything in
a bedrock of sp :
PLAYBOY: Do you think you'll ever go
back to the Churchz
SCORSESE: A couple of [riends of 1
think I will. E don't think I've ever left,
really
PLAYBOY: At one time, you wanted t0 bea
priest. What happened?
SCORSESE: | couldn't become a priest be
cause 1 couldn't resolve how one could
take the concepts of Chri ity and
Take tie apply to daily life. You hear
how life's supposed to work from priests.
then you watch how it really works on

that?
more you know,

the streets, That shows in Mean Streets,
where Charlie is trying to lead a life
philosophically tied in with Roman
Catholic teaching: offering up penances.
suffering for atonement of his own sins,
dealing with the sins of pride and
selfishness and trying to take the concept
of loving your enemy and fellow man
and reconcile it with rules of living in a
total jungle. I couldn't resolve that for
myself, because the microcosm of Liule
Italy is just that: It's a microcosm of us
today. It's a microcosm of troops in Sau-
di Arabia, it's a microcosm ol everything.
The same concepts apply in every form

of society throughout the world, in dif-
ferent degrees of inten
nother reason, of course, was that I'd

become aware of girls. There was no way
to resolve the sexuality that I felt. I was
very, very shy that way because of want-
ing to be a priest, and ever
verted because I had asthe
bloomer. I'd discovered girls but didn't
act on it like some of the other guys who
had healthier attitudes. And that, too,
figured into Mean Steels. During the
pool-playing scene, Charlie talks about
his priest, who had told him a story
about a young boy and girl who were
nice kids but who went out and had
sex—and paid for it. The kids have ne
er made love. One night they decide to
go all the way. They park the ear, the
making love and a truck comes by
smashes into the car and they burn up in
flames. And the priest said he knew
these two kids. Charlie believed it

I'd heard the same story on retreat
and years later, a girl I knew told it 10
me, too. She said the priest she'd heard
it from also knew the kids personally. Well,
it couldn't have been the same priest. So
1 talked to a friend who had been on that
retreat with me and he said, “Of cour
it was not true.”

PLAYBOY: You believed it

SCORSESE: Totally. | saw those bodies
writhing in flames because they had
dared to have sexual thoughts and act
on them. Pı re great actors. [Smiles]
І was a fool. I was v gullible and
naive, I felt that the priest had lied to me
personally.

You've got to understand: I was still a
baby in that way. I was living with my
parents. A lot of these other guys around
me, they were more on their own. I
stayed very much a family boy until alter
I shot Taxi Driver.

PLAYBOY: But by the time you heard the
story about the car's going up in flames,
you'd already had sex?

SCORSESE: No.

PLAYBOY: When was the first time?
SCORSESE: Oh, very late. Very late
PLAYBOY: In college?

SCORSESE: No, | was married. The idea
was one person, and that was the one
person.

PLAYBOY: Would you have had sex carli-
if your religion had allowed it?

more intro-

I was a late

SCORSESE: No, absolutely not. | was going
to be a priest—and 1 harbored a de:
to go back to the seminary right up un
I made my first short film in 1963
PLAYBOY: Should priests get married?
SCORSESE: Oh, 1 go the party line on that.
Maybe thar's one reason 1 never became
a priest. There's supposed to be a devo-
tion, a selflessness; they cannot share
their life with anybody else. There has to
be a sense of sacrifice, discipline and as-
ceticism. If somebody gets
train, the priest is called in and he has to
perform the last rites on what's left of the
body. Then he goes back to his rectory. 17
he were married, what would his
2 “What was it like today, de

had a daughter, but the marriage didn't
last very long.
SCORSESE: Right. My upbringing was so
parochial. Kids from other cultures
might have lived together first to try to
see if their lifestyles meshed. If Га had
any inkling what this film business was
like, I would have wanted to, as well. I
was twenty or twenty-one, I was doing
films ar New York University. I had one
foot in one world and one foot in the
other. In order to continue the films, E
think, I had to really concentrate on that
and let the personal life slide. I wa
in everything in my life, because | came
from a very closed, parochi
ment. I didn't let my hair grow until
1969. I went to Woodstock—to work,
mind you—in a shire with c ks and
didn't buy my first pair of jeans or start
wearing cowboy shirts until afterward
PLAYBOY: So you do think business and
artistic pressures tend to make successful
relationships between two creative peo-
ple difficult, as in New York, New York?
SCORSESE: Actual 1
dard to tell me, when I fü
what that movie was about: the impossi-
bility of two creative people sustaining
a marriage, There are great married
teams: Nicolas Roeg and Theresa Rus-
sell, Blake Edwa ds: and Julie Andrews.
They seem to be doing fine. You should
ask them. I dont think I've ever really
tried it that way. Over the years, you get
involved with people and many of them
are also creative, and you usually find
that the drive for fulfillment of their own
work starts to clash.
PLAYBOY: And once aga
the screen
SCORSESE: No matter what I do, [my per-
sonal experiences] seem to get up there
Not to betray the people who are with
me; not to betray my wile or my close
friends. It’s not as if think, Fm going to
take that and put it up on the screen, Em
just trying to find a truthfulness, and I
look into myself first

It isn't easy to do, by the way. | dont
know if vou ever get into an argument
with somebody you love and think, Oh,
that would be incredible on film. Your
ns are in the way; you can't do

s late

environ-

you put it or

PLAYBOY

that. And once you calm down, you for-
get every word. Later. maybe th
Come to you, so you try to put them
different characters.

PLAYBOY: Do you think that if you
your second wile, wt Cameron,
1 stayed together, the New York, New
eters might have stayed 10-

gether?
SCORSESE: [Very uncomfortable] 1

dont
know. When you mention her name. .

1 сапт talk about it that way. It would
have been kind of schizophrenic if we
hadn't stayed together to put th in
the movie that way. In that particular in-
stance, it seemed to be the most hor
orable way of ending the movie
Everything else would have been a lie ıl
they had walked off together. But the
movie is not just about my m e at
the time. It drew from all kinds of rela-
tionships

PLAYBOY: Docs that mean il you had fo-
cused more oll screen on your relation-
ships with women, your movies might
have been different
SCORSESE: [Bristles] Vm always focused on
my relationships. Its just that at a cer-
tain point in my life, I realized I could
focus only up to a certain point, and then
you need glasses. The moment you real-
re you need glasses, and what kind of
prescription it is, you tend to take it a lit-
tle easier on yourself. You think, I can
stay in for the long haul I can. But you
know that it will probably end.
PLAYBOY: AL some point. you ¢
give as much as they demanded?
SCORSESE: Not necessarily what the people
demanded but whar the relationship
needed. Up to a certain point, I prob:
bly give as much as possibl
reacted dillerenily over the ye;
the

lant

rs, with
alization

depression or rag
that I couldn't continue.
PLAYBOY: You once told Roger
you couldn't look at
Isabella Rossellini—or even
Kinski, who looks like he
marriage dissolved.
SCORSESE: Well, that was right after the
breakup of our marriage.

ds oi

Nastass]

г your

There was a
1083,
an interest n King
of Comedy finished. And within a week or
two, I started preproduction on The Last
Temptation of Christ and 1 was completely
1 was able to put our mar-
мо some sort of perspective, and
how we're pretty good friends.
PLAYBOY: Did you like her in Blue Velvet?
s quite good. but that’s
n ex-husband to look at.
I cannot be totally objective. All I know is
that it was a believable performance.
PLAYBOY: Did you get ar

great longing. Bur that was 108

That was wh

SCORSESE:

аси
one who
‘SCORSESE:

nember, you're talking to an Italian. 1
1 to have drama off scree
screen. Now the drama on screen is

pretty much enough.

h;
o

as well as

PLAYBOY: Lers talk about another of
your important relationships: Robert De
Niro.

SCORSESE: Let's not. [Laughs] Just kid-
ding.

PLAYBOY; Well, ¡Us true you rarely discuss
your relationship. Yet you've done six
pictures together and other actors and
directors regard your working relation-

ship as a model. Now, afier nearly ten
s of not working together, he has
been part of the ensemble in GoodFellas
and plays the lead in Cape Fear. Why the
long break
SCORSESE: It was important, alter King of
Comedy, that Т did less with Bob and con-
centrated on шу own work again. We
had explored so much together. W
needed time to learn more about ou
selves. I realized that a man lives his lile
alone. 1 dont believe in teams, ult
ly. Eventually. it’s you and the materi:
But now, after a whole series of pictui
on my own, it will be interesting to see il
Bob and I can do something t
further our experience in film making.
PLAYBOY: When you watch De Niro's
work with other directors, do you ever
get jealous? Feel proprietary?

SCORSESE: In the carly days, when I was
making films with him all the time, ve:
wh I saw him in The Deer Hunter, tor
example. I felt a bit nervous watching. It
was like somebody who was extremely
close to me having an айай with som
one else. But 1 admired his work in that
film and others.

PLAYBOY: Why does it work so well be-
tween you?

SCORSESE: lius ively He has in
stinets that just ht for me.
And also personally. He and 1 can say the
stupidest things to each other about any-

thing, and it’s not going to find its way
past us, We identify. with each other
somewhat through the characters he acts
out

so seem to be

growi ne way.
PLAYBOY: Is it true vou wanted I
to play C iginally?

SCORSESE: No. 1 flew to Paris for or
ight to talk to him He felt h
didn't know enough about re
understand what was needed. I knew
that before I asked him. И was more
discussion. At one point, he said.

Nir

bout

if there's any problem, il you can't get
the picture made without me, IIl do it
Fora g ass for thre

days, you've really
But he meant it wholeheartedly, and E
d that

ust before your de:

de
for a second uy at The Last Temptation of
Christ, you both visited Marlon Brando
on Tetiaroa, WI
SCORSESE: Brando had an idea for a com-
edy he wanted me to do. He said he was

a Fan of King of Comedy. He sa Would
you like to come down? Тари beauti-
ful.” Bob just happened to be around
and said, "Why don't I come dow
T don't think he'd met Brando.
ads. I live in buildings. E don't
d islands. I see a palm wee, 1
ger nervous. We went for seven days and
spent about three and a half weeks.
PLAYBOY: Why the change
SCORSESE: Brando said,

too?
Plus, he

in plans?
TI come

around, just enjoy yourself.” He put me
in a small house, The island is very
small: you can walk around it in less than

forty minutes. There's nothing to do
there. Then he waited until I got into
the rhythm of Tahiti, and that took three
or four days. He'd come by and say, “Did
you walk around the island yet this
morning?” Hed say,
What are you going to do this alter-

noon, go the other way?” Га say, "Yeah.
Then Га be reading a book. “Sull read-
ing that book?” Soon I began to under:
stand that you dont do anything. You
dont know what time it is. you dont
know what day it is. You get up, you walk
around, you go into the water.

It was the first and only time in my life
when I was very sad to leave a place—de-
spite having а hard time because 1 was
being eaten by the mosquitoes.

PLAYBOY: What did you talk about?
SCORSESE: Brando is a raconteur and he
has wonderlul stories. You get a sense of
what's important to him in his life. He
would read poetry to me. I liked him. 1
Шу wish we could have worked to-
ether. But it’s hard for me to do othe
people's dreams, other people's projects
that they're burning 10 do. Over the
years. with so many people 1 admire.
we'd get together, we'd like to work 10-
gether, but it was usually something tha
I had to do for them. Or something tha
came out of their s very,
hard. at this stage of the g meu
become as excited as they are over tha
particular project. I've got only so much
me left, Fm forty-eight years old. Each
film has got to mean something to me. I
dont care who my broth-
Ys project, I couldn't do it. Eve got t
do what is important to me
PLAYBOY: Let us read you something.
SCORSESE: Are these bad reviews? 1
don't read the bad reviews. [Laughs]
PLAYBOY: lis а letter to the editor fron
the Los Angeles Times Magazine, in re-
sponse aba
leased. It reads, in par

soul. very

me, fc

sf it were

icle yeu when

Goad Fellas was

€ other hack directors, Scorsese uses

m audiences, not rev
me

SCORSESE: Oh, the violence question. I
comes up

PLAYBOY: Obviously, this is a critici
you're familiar with. Does ir upset you
SCORSESE: Only because, as Гус said
many times, the violence comes out of
the things that E really know about. It
would be very difficult lor me ro do a war

m to excite

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Upjohn

The Upohn Company

(schon You must see 2 doclor to receve a presenpbon

USI-3623.00. November 1999

picture. Take Oliver Stone and Platoon
He saw war You get that sense of abse
Ime horror and panic. Maybe irs no

justificati
my experience, But d
personal movies. 1
what I think I underst

I grew up in the tenements. I lived on
ly halfa block om the Bowery, We
saw the dregs, the poor vagrants and the
alcoholics. I saw everything. Most morn-
ings on the wa mar school, ГА
sec two bums fighting cach other with
broken bottles. Blood all over the
ground. 1 had to step around the blood
and the botiles—and Em just eight ус
old. Or Га be sitting in the derclicts' bar
across the way. We'd go in—we were on-
ly kids, nine years old—and sit there.
We'd waich guys ger up and struggle
over to another table and start halluci

¿and beating up somco

nating
st sexual thing fev

that these things come from
"¢ why I make
them abou

to gran

Thef
night: two derelieis performir
on cach other and then vomiting
was about thirteen then. But ГИ neve
forget the images. Never forget them.
The first aspect of life 1 remember sec
ing was the death of it. You don't ever
have to go to the Bowery now to see it.
In Manhattan, it's all over the streets.
PLAYBOY: Sounds like a disturbing child-
hood.

SCORSESE: It wisi. This was just the en-
vironment I was in. It was like the wild
West, the frontier. When it came to your
apartment in the tenement where you
lived, you were protected, usually
Though at night, coming back late, you
found derelictis in the halls, or people
robbing each other in the halls. After a
while, in the early Sixties. they put locks
on the street doors and two lights on
cach doorway.

PLAYBOY: And these are the experiences
you've embraced on film. Why?
SCORSESE: Violence is just a form ol how
you express your feelings to someone
Take this situation: ^ say you're
and you want to
et mto
somebody's crew, and you start wor
but you've got to prove yoursel. And
whar you have to do, you know, is very
clear. For instance, an old friend who got
into that lifestyle for a while told me this
incredible story.

He had to go collect money—because
it's always about money. He's told by the
man running his crew. "You go to the
guy in the store, take this bat and bre
it over his head. Get the mon Th
guy says, “Why?” And he says, "Well, be
cause he's been late a few weeks 1
owes me the vig. He should be hit, Get
the money if you can” So he gets there.
He also takes a younger guy with him.
They ger in th
are a lot of p
So het
threatens the guy for money

The guy says, "Oh, I have it, I have it

nd he sees there

store

sple waiting to buy things.
nd

kes the owner in the back

here. Glad you came. Here's the mon
cy.” So he takes it and leaves. On the way
out, the young guy who was learning
from him says, “You were supposed to
hit him." “No, he had the money. We
don't have w hit him; he gave us the
money." So he went back to his boss and
said, “Here's the money.” The boss said,
“Did you hit him? Did you break his
head?” "No." "Why not?” “He had the
money. And there were people ther
“Thats the point. He's late, isn't he
Take the bat and break his head. Even
when he gives you the money, especially if
there's people there. That's how you do
D

And not only do you have to do it, you
have t0 learn to enjoy it. And that's what I
think people started to get upset about
again lately, with Goodfellas
PLAYBOY: [n stories about you, there's al-
ways the suggestion that although you
were too sickly to join in, you wanted to
be a wise guy—much like Henry Hill in
Good Fellas
SCORSESE: 1 couldn't do it personally, but
as a boy of thirteen or fourteen, I had to
harden my heart against the suffering. 1
had to take it. My friends go to beat up
somebody, I went with them. I didn't
jump in, but 1 watched or set it up.
PLAYBO! allyz
SCORSESE: Oh, of course. /ou do all
that. It’s part of growing up there. So it's
my experience. 1 don't expect this person
who wrote the letci you read to have

ure.

the same experience. Maybe he had ex-
perience with violence in another way. 1
don't know, but that’s for him to make а
film or write about; I have no argument
PLAYBOY: As an adult, what were your vi-
olent experiences about?

SCORSESE: Years ago, oh, God, the ten-
sion of shooting, the frustration of wying
to get everything. 1 had this constant
thing of having incredible energy and
then suddenly, if things weren't going
right, Га punch a wall. I would trauma-
tize the knuckles on this right hand
When we had only twenty days to shoot
and something went wrong, ГА go into
the trailer, pound the wall and come out
smiling as if nothing was wrong. Now |
know what's going to happen if some-
goes wrong on the set, and TI ei-
y to make it right or move on. All
the screaming and the yelling is not go-
ing to help. That doesn't mean 1 don't
still have insecurities. And the anger is
there: it simmers. I just don't necessarily
act out violent rages anymore

PLAYBOY: Perhaps the violence in your
films js some wishful extension of your

inability to participate earlier.

SCORSESE: No. It's so destructive, the vio-
lence. Look at Jake in Raging Bull.
PLAYBOY: Whe
film exultani
SCORSESE: The Wild Bunch has a chore-
ographed excitement. Meaning like
let. Plus, you also like the characters for

do you find violence in

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PLAYBOY

some reason
Bonnie and Clyde is aple of
a very important film where you really
© the people. The violence is ove
blown. The violence is just amazin
[New York Times critic. Vincent] С
said that ally was a watershed fil
opened ihe door 10 a new understand-
of violence on screen during the time
we were in Vietnam. It was a way to keep
abreast of how things were changing:
PLAYBOY: Does violence in films cause vi-
olence in the streets?
SCORSESE: It depends on the person. I
Чо believe апу one movie or any опе
book makes people in (heir right mind,
whatever that is, go out and act some
way because they saw it in a movie. [But
1 can't satisfy] America’s need for quick,
one-statement answers here. American
aders seem to want to read а clear
ement and say, "You know, they're
right.” As simple as tha „like taking polls
on CNN. It's crazy at's not a one-
statement answer, its a very complicated
question
PLAYBOY: Roger Ebert
think vou could make Taxi
because it had the wrong
lence. He said it was mea
thought-out violence,
random violence
SCORSESE: | suppose the kind ol random
violence he's talking about is in films like
Total Recall—which 1 havent seen—
ly the a action-adventure В
nd Forties taken
10 another level. violence conluses
ne and perplexes me. 1 really don't un-
derstand it. Violence in filins today is so
abstract. Horror films and the disem-
boweling of people. Maybe that satisfies
a need in human beings that was sat-
two thc nd
ppened
r society. I don't know why we have
to see our entrails being dragged out. I
dow get it
PLAYBOY: What about Jai Driver? The
film is perhaps the pre-eminent example
of how the public associates you with vi-
olence.
SCORSESE: Well, 1 didnt do the violence
scenes in Taxi Dr
stance, or for an audience to have fun
with. It was justa natural progre
the character in the story
tragedy of it.
PLAYBOY: Can you defend
SCORSESE: Travis Bickle, the charact
that Paul Schrader wrote, is the aveng-
ing angel, He comes in and he w
clean up the str
everybody ont.

other ex

said he didn't
Driver today.
kind of vio-
ingful, well-
as opposed to

years ag

10 01

ser for

is Bickle?

nis to

ets. He wants to clean
He really means well.
Ihe problem is the old story of what
com

the c
“God.

sy se
U it and you say

exis ak at the poor people in the
g on? Whats hap-
pened in the past filicen years to Ameri-

car I wish 1 could do this, I wish I could

sense of violence

do that.” You even get
walking in the streets.
PLAYBOY: Many of us don't walk
places becau
SCORSESE: Exactly. You don't
finish yc sentence, because 1 know
what you're saying. A lot of people ma
read this and they may not understand
because they may live somewhere
. But in most urban centers, you g
se of incredible violence.
The point is that Travis sees t
ugh we have fantasies about
moments, Tr

ose

have to

and
in ou

PLAYBOY: You said you understood
Travis’ having gone about it the wrong
way. Are you saying you tried to get the
message across incorrectly about how
horrible all this violence is

SCORSESE: | don't know. There are lots of
mistakes you make. Whats the old
cliché— The road to hell is paved with
good intentions? Or the line that always
Brings tears to my eyes in The Last Temp-
talion: "Vm so ashamed of all the wrong
ways I looked for God." I did take that
vather personally

PLAYBOY: Onc person who got it wrong
was John Hinckley. He used having seen
Taxi Driver, and having become obsessed
with Jodie Foster, t of his defense

SCORSESE: lo use the film as a defense is
such an oversimplification. A horror. But
tempted assass are so horrible,
and the country is so frightened by this
phenomenon, that using the film as a de-
fense kind of sedates the public. It makes
them feel. “Ws OK, we've got everything
under control. И was the fault of these
guys who made this picture. and it was
the fault of Catcher in the Rye.” Does this
then mean it has really nothing to do
with his family, it
maybe there's
ly with his brain?

PLAYBOY: When did you hear the news
linking the film and the as ition at-
tempt

SCORSESE: We were in Los Angeles for
the Academy Aw Micrward—Bob
won the Acade for Raging
Bulla a party п, х
said, "Didn't you hear the news?”

PLAYBOY: How did you feel at tha
mer
SCORSESE: I
explained the de
Oddly enough,
story before, whe
Academy

ver told this
I was attending the

somebody, Jodie Foster had been
nated, and the letter read, “If Jodie Fos-
ter receives an Academy Award for what
le] you'll pay fa
life, This is no joke.

L remember showing it to Marcia Lu-
cas, George Lucas’ wile at the time, who
was my f There were so many
things ı We were trying to finish

you made

with you

New York, New York and we said, “That's
all we need." So the FBL came by, E gave
them the letter, they looked into it, and a
few nights later, I had to go to the Acadc-
my Awards. Billy Friedkin was the pro-
ducer of the show and he let me in first.
It was great. They pointed out the FBI
gents who were there at the dor, some
of them women in gowns, and said if
anything happens They thought
ht and—who
s¿—maybe the person is in the a

dience. Of course, she didn't win and
was forgotten,
PLAYBOY: OK. Given the violent. mo-

how have you re-
ny other film makers
псе against women, espe-
nection between violence

ments in your mov
sisted what so n
haven't—viol
cially the coi
and sex?

SCORSESE: I here isn’t that much sex in
the films I make. Seriously, in Taxi Driver,
the sex is all repressed. If you had any
real sex in it, il would blow the entire
picture.
You have to remember that most of
the pictures | make deal with worlds in
which the men predominate, and I've
goua be true to those particular worlds.
All the lu strong.
Don't believe that nonsense that the man
runs the house. No way. Ultimately, it's
the matriarch. So when I saw certain
scripts in which the woman was just an
1 didn't do them. That's
lly in Goodfellas, 1 chose to

why,

But it still says Good-
chopped up the bod-

fellas,
ies, not the women.
PLAYBOY: And the women in your other
films ar allowed to be strong. Taxi
Driver, lor instance.

SCORSESE: You'r
filter

the first

person in

it, though Гуе really tri
dear. Even in Alice Doesn't Live Here Any-
more, | was trying to do something
int But ultima
we all came to the conc
OK if she wanted to live w
1 felt bad about it and thoug

dical enough statement for
ne of fi

‹ ms of women

ism.
But I like women

who've worked with me for ye

women: my e

production п

rs are

m, my producers, my
rs. 1 find that they

1 was the first instructa
t New York University to allow wo
to direct. They didn't have

cinating to me.

nen

ny women

110 your f
ГИ tell you onc

bout this. After the [/
stitute] tribute to David
were some cocktails. Ti
umber of the archivists

there
working with

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PLAYBOY

and one of them introduced me to a
other archivist, a young woman. We
talked awhile, then she said, *I must say
that Em a Imirer of your films. After
all, Lam a woman.” I don't get it
PLAYBOY: Could you make a movie from
a woman's point of view?
SCORSESE: I think so. I could try.
PLAYBOY: What about one that deals
more directly with sexz
SCORSESE: That's a very good question. I
guess when I find the right angle for the
interest I have in it. The subject matter
that I seem to be attracted t0—lor exam-
ple, Edith Wharton's Age of Innocence;
Jay Cocks and I are doing a scripi—has
the yearning for sex, which 1 believe at
times can be more satisfying than the ac-
tual consummation. I'm exploring those
areas—material that has to do more with
the repression of sexuality than the actu
al sex itself. Raging Bull has tons of re-
pressed sexuality. The love scene where
she gets him ıo а point of desire, and
then he рош» ice water on himself.
‘That's interesting sexually to me.
PLAYBOY: What do you think about on-
screen nudity? Again, there’s not much
in your films.
SCORSESE: I like it. [Laughs] 1 don't have
lime to go to many movies, so I see most
of it on cable or video tape. FII always
look, and then maybe change the chan-
nel anyway. Sometimes in a theater, 1 feel
a little uncomlortable with il
PLAYBOY: Sexuality, or the mere sugges-
tion of it, seemed to play a significant
role in your troubles making The Last
Temptation of Christ. Paramount was go-
ing to make the picture in 1983 but
pulled the plug in fear of potential pro-
tests. Then, four years later, Universal
Studios became interested. What ap-
pealed to you so much about the Ka-
book that you never gave up?
There are many reasons. Be-

cause it's а
everybody's struggle. You don't have to
be Catholic. I had hoped it would be the
kind of film that would engender very
healthy discussions on the nature of God
and how the Church should change to
meet today's needs.

PLAYBOY: The Catholic Church wasn't
neatly as vocal about the film as the fun-
damentalist groups. Their outrage fo-
cused not on the issues you'd hoped but
on whether or not the film should even
be shown. When you saw footage of the
protesters on Nighiline, you said. “The
Tilm was gone." What did you me:
SCORSESE: Well. I meant thar selfishly. 1
knew there would be problems. I knew
that the fundamentalist movement was
difficult in 1083. and that’s why the film
anceled, but 1 didn't think they
would be as vociferous the second time
There were a numbe
from Protest:

was

around.

of people
ps who were for the
film. They kept pointing out on television
that the fundamentalists—that Rev-
nd Donald Wildmon and the other

were only a very |y. But the
fundamentalists got the coverage. Sc
after Nightline, V figured, Well, thar’
enough; I guess they don't have to re-
lease the film if they don't want to. The
hell with i; just let it go.

hat was it? That easily
Of course not, But. „1
was being selfish, My thought was of the
film; 1 should have been thinking about
the people for whom the film w
people like me who are not necessarily
volved with the daily ritual of the
Church but still believe to a c
tent, who have questions they want to
discuss and who want to [cel that the
a Jesus for them. Remember, Jesus w
Eighth Avenue with the prostitutes. He
wasn't uptown or in Washington, D.C.
PLAYBOY: Did your parents suffer in any
way from thisz
SCORSESE: | think so. yes. They weren't
harassed, but I think they were very hurt
by the circus on TV. My mother was very
upset about it. One religious leader said
that she was a whore. I said, “He was us-
ing it to make a point, Mom. He's saying
that people are hurt that | may be saving
things about Jesus that are the equ
lent of my saying their mother is a whore.
That's what the pri 5 x
PLAYBOY: What was Christ's last tempta-
tion?
SCORSESE: In the film, the last temptation
was to live the lile of an ordinary man
and die in old age
PLAYBOY: Since you identify with your
characters, can we assume you harbor
the desire to live an ordinary lite at some
point, to get off the directorial cross?
SCORSESE: No, по. I accept who Lam. In
the film, giving in to the last temptation
was kind of like a copping out, even
though life as an ordinary man looked
very attractive. Eventually, Christ reject-
ed the last temptation. [Smiles] So what
else am I going to do but direct? And
whatever happens, PI always have
something to do with film.
PLAYBOY: Let's start wrapping this up,
with one of your favorite subjects. Why
did you once say you hated the phrase
Italian-American sensibility?
say that? [Laughs] 1 get
upset about the happy, dancing, sing
peasants, organ-grinde monkey, e
ervbody eating pasta cliché of the Ital-
ian-American, Any ethnic group would
be a little annoyed by the stereotypes.
PLAYBOY: Italian- ns seem to be
annoyed at you for stereotyping them as
wise guys and Mobsi
SCORSESE: OK. But I want to be clear
about this: It's not the experience for all
n-Americans. Not everybody in my
wod was a wise guy. This is a
very annoying are: k about without
e Dalian-Americans! getting upset. I
point out, and Nick Pileggi [author of
the book Wiseguy and co-author of the

made-

in e

tot

screenplay Goodfellas] points out, that
out of twenty million Htalian-Americans.
there are only four thousand know
ganized-c rs. Yet there
reality to how those organized-crime
figures are interlaced into the It
American lifestyle. To best understand
the importance and the unimpor
is to come from that lifestyle. Ii
difficult to describe.

PLAYBOY: Why does Hollywood love Mob
movies

SCORSESE: Actually, what's more inter
ing is that it was easier for me to make
Mean Streets because of The Godfather. Y
had tried to get Mean Streets made earli-
er, and I couldn't get any money. My film
school professor Haig Manoogian said,
"Nobody cares about these people.” At
the time, he was right, It was the late Six-
ties, you know, free love.
PLAYBOY: Did you know
Coppola at the time?
SCORSESE: We met at the Sorrento Film
Encounter in Haly. | was there with
Who's That Knocking?, working every an-
gle, working every room, getting to ev-
ery cocktail party 1 could get 10, to get
money to make another picture. We had
a great time. We ate lots of pasta, told
stories, Francis was working on the script
Tor The Godjather right there in Sorrento.
L said, “When you come back to New
York, eat at my parents’ house.”
PLAYBOY: Did he:

: Yeah. My parents would tell
hım stores. My father’s voice was
recorded to listen to the accent. My
mother was constantly giving hi
ing suggestions.

PLAYBOY: Did he take any?
SCORSESE: Yeah, sure. One night at din-
ner, she told him she wanted Richard
Conte in the picture and he put him in.
Another time, she asked him how many
days he had to shoot and he said, “A
hundred days." She said, “1
enough.” This is 1970. 1
dont get him terrified!” As it was, he
went over budger somewhat. He was
fighting every day. I remember one sto
ry where he had one day to shoot the f
neral of the Godfather. And he just sat
down on one of the tombstones in the
graveyard and started crying. But out of
that torture came a wonderful film.
PLAYBOY: Did vou contribute?
SCORSESE: | took [set designer] De:
Tavoularis around for set ideas. I r
member finding the olive-oil factory, He
also used the interior of my church, St.
Patrick's. Cathedral, the old cathedral.
They shot the baptism scene there.
PLAYBOY: So you were more
than is generally known.
SCORSESE: Yeah. for a lot of the locati
and my parents helped out a lot. We got
a lot of people they knew to be in it, too
PLAYBOY: Are you and Coppola still

me теті

ance ol

s very

Francis Ford

I a kind of a
(concluded on page 161)

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THE

WISEGUY
NEXT DOOR

THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM HAS
A REMARKABLE PURPOSE:
TO HIDE HARDENED CRIMINALS AMONG THE
GENERAL PUBLIC. WHAT COULD
POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

ır was NEARLY 21 years ago that Michael
Raymond, a beefy, Brooklyn-bred
man and stock swindler
spot
in Illinois state court, he received a
four-year prison term for trying to use
stolen Treasury notes to buy two small
Midwestern banks. A silver-tongued
grifter with a robust appetite for the
good life, Raymond had no intention
of serving his sentence. Instead, he cut
a deal with the Feds.

What Raymond received, however,
was far from your av
mill Government deal. In e:
testifying before a Senate subcommit-
tee on stolen securities and the Mob, he
was placed in what was then a new,
top-secret. Federal program called
WITSEC, short for Witnes:

as the Witness Protection Progr y

At the time, fewer than a hundred
people had entered this experimental
program, thought to be the Govern-
ment's most potent new tool a to
ganizcd crime. Despite its controv
nature, the program had never act
ly been debated, or even proposed,
on Capitol Hill. The U.S. Justice De-
partment simply requested funds for
“witness relocation,” and the various
appropriations committees gave it the
rubber stamp. Over the next 21 years,
the program would attract a vast fol-

lowing, not the least of which were the
more than 13,000 crimi and their
family members coerced into its ranks.
Back in 1970, though, WITSEC was a
theory to be tested. And like any new
theory, it had bugs to be worked out—
bugs like Michael Raymond.

As part of his agreement with the
overseers of W 1, Raymond was
given a new identity and relocated to
sunny southern Florida, The Govern-

ment also immediately began paying
h

n $1500 a month, plus $50,000 for
“job ince.” Over the next several
years, Michael “Burnett,” as Raymond
officially became known, would learn
to use WITSEC to underwrite one
scam after another. During one deadly
three-year period, three busin
ciates of his disappeared unde:
ous circumstances. One of them was a
67-year-old socialite and widow whom
Raymond had been romancing. The
woman was last seen getting into a car
with him just hours after she cleared
out her bank accounts. Raymond later
became a prime suspect in her disap-
pearance when an informant told local
cops that he had bragged of killing her.
"They're never going to find the st
she's under,” he reportedly told th
formant.

When Florida authorities began
looking into the past of Michacl Bur-
nett, they were amazed to find that he

article By T. J. ENGLISH

ILLUSTRATION BY JOHN THOMPSON

PLAYBOY

had по personal history whatsoever.
His Ше of crime as Michael Raymond
had been effectively expunged, cour-
tesy of WITSEC. Furthermore, the
Federal Government helped Raymond
disappear while the investigation was
under way. He had intentionally violat-
ed his security, so the Justice Depart-
ment—unaware that its prize witness
was also a primary suspect—relocated
him to another region of the country
and covered his wacks after he left.

In the years that followed, Raymond
often caught the attention of Federal
crime fighters. Although the U.S. Mar-
shals Service—the branch of the Justice
Department that administers the Wit-
ness Security Program—believed that
his life was in danger, he moved
around like a man without worries. He
drove Cadillacs and wore mink coats,
and his fingers sparkled with diamond
rings. A gourmet chef with a taste for
fine wines, he allowed his waistline to
grow in proportion to his criminal
deeds, until he topped the scales near
300 pound:

Now 61 years old, Raymond/Burnett
is no longer in WITSEC. His long, no-
torious life of crime finally caught up
with him when, afier he resurfaced in
Chicago a few years ago as an inform-
ant in an FBI sting operation, the Feds
caught on to his act. In 1987, he went
off to prison on weapons possession;
there were no deals left to be struck
For more than 20 years, Raymond had
feasted on the Federal Government's
naïveté and largess, turning the W
ness Security Program into a criminal
hide-out.

The stupefying result of all this is
that little has changed since the days
when Raymond first made chumps out
of the US. Justice Department. Al-
though few inductees have abused
WITSEC with the same panache as
Michael Raymond, the 21-ycar history
of the program reveals a virtual catalog
of failures, from recidivism through
bureaucratic ineptitude to Govern-
ment callousness and neglect

Throughout it all, WITSEC contin-
ues to grow, amassing a rogues’ gallery
of inductees. “Almost everything that
could go wrong [with WITSEC] has,
at one time or another,” says Donald

man, a former Justice Department
official who is now a criminal defense
attorney in Miami. Bierman has had
several clients enter WITSEC, often
gainst his recommendation. “If you
bsorb enough scandal, eventually you
become immune," he says. “Ironically,
because of the program's long history
of failure, it has now become virtually
scandalproof.”

.
When 47-year-old Max Mermelstein
entered the Witness Security Program

it must have seemed like the
s the man who
had run U.S. trafficking operations for
the Colombian cocaine cartel for seven
years, he had a criminal career that
had escalated to a point beyond his
wildest dreams. From 1978 to the time
of his arrest, Mermelstein is believed to
have smuggled some 56 tons of cocaine
into Florida. In a five-year period, he
ran $300,000,000 in laundered curren-
cy through Colombia and Panama

Mermelstein never planned on a ca-
reer in crime. Alter marrying a Colom-
bian woman he had met in Puerto
Rico, he was introduced to Rafael
"Rafa" Cardona Salazar, a major un-
derboss for the Ochoa family, leaders
of the Medellín cartel. On Christmas
ay 1978, Rafa inexplicably murdered
one of his fellow drugrunners after a
long afternoon of free-basing cocaine.
He and another smuggler then called
on Mermelstein, whom he knew only
casually at the time. They wanted Max
to drive them around until they came
om their high. During their
c, emptied five
bullets into his roommate, who had
been taunting him from the back seat
of their rented van. “Just keep dri
Max. Don't say a fucking word," Mer-
melstein remembers Rafa saying.

Having witnessed, but not reported,
à brutal murder, Mermelstein was an
accessory to the crime, which effective-
ly put him under the thumb of the c;
tel. His criminal associations with Rafa,
Pablo Escobar and others Hourished
until June 1985, when he was jumped
by a bevy of agents from the FBI, DEA,
Customs and assorted other branches
of American law enforcement. After
searching Mermelstein's home, the
Feds had enough on his drug opera-
tions to put him away for many life-
times.

Faced with a life behind bars, Mer-
melstein remembered the words he'd
heard many times from the murderous
Rafa: “There are only two ways you get
out of trafficking coke, in a box or in a
cell.” Mermelstein proved him wrong;
he agreed to cooperate with the Gov-
ernment and go into the Witness Sec
rity Program.

"The day I got arrested was the best
day of my life,” says Mermelstein, now
living under an assumed name some-

n the United States. “fit hadn't
happened, Fd be dead right now.

To initiate Mermelstein into WIT-
SEC required extraordinary measures.
ily, mostly
relatives of his Colombian wife, had to
be relocated into the U.S. It presented
the Marshals Service with a problem it
has been forced to deal with more and
more, as the so-called drug war esca-

lates. According to the Justice Depart-
ments own statistics, nearly 80 percent
m are there
y member
Moi

of those now in the prog
because they or a f

Colombians, Mexicans and Asi
entering the Witness Security
gram, the Marshals Ser
devised a strategy for handling foreign
refugees from our criminal-ju
system.

juess again.

Take the case of Arturo. Jaramillo,
Mermelstein’s brother-in-law. Born
and raised millo
is described by his brother-in-law as “a
quiet man who never wanted to be in-
volved in drugs or Still, he
had been forced by Rafa to help dis-
posc of his dead associate back in 1978,
and he lived in fear of the Colombian
drug merchants. When news of Mer-
melstei "flip" reached him, he had
no choice but to accept Uncle Sam's ol-
fer of a new identity in the United
States. Although Jaramillo, his wife and
young son spoke no English, they were
inexplicably relocated to Memphis,
Tennessee, a city not known for its
racial tolerance.

The last time Mermelstein talked
with his brother-in-law was November
13, 1986. “He was in a thoroughly mo-
rose mood,” he says. “We tried to get
an official assigned to his case to get
him a Spanish-speaking psychiatrist.—
fast. What did the official do? He went
m.”

One day later—on the day before his
49th birthday—Arturo Jaramillo was
found hanged in a closet of the small
apartment WITSEC had provided for
him and his family. He had looped a
rope over the hanger rod, пей it
around his neck, then pulled on the
rope with both hands until he stran-
gled himself.

“TIl always blame myself, in a way,
for what happened.” says Mermelstein.
“But I blame the program, too. No-
body involved [with WITSEC] under-
stands the Latin mentality or the Latin
people. They take my brother-in-law,
his wife and kid, and stick them in a
place like Memphis. Aside from the fact
that it is one of the most bigoted places
in the United States, nobody there
speaks Spanish. They couldn't get a
driver's license, be the tests
weren't given in Spar were
just dumped in an apartment
to fend for themselves.” Echoi
sentiments of many currently in the
program, Mermelstein adds, “Nobody

(continued on page 156)

ns now
Pro-

iolence.

on vac

pretty well covered my immediate neighborhood.”

"As a housewife, I missed out on sex in the workplace, but I

GIVE US A BREAK!

playboy visits the sites of spring in florida, texas and california

rs MARCH, you've just finished your mid-terms and now have two choices: spend
a week at home with the parental units, boning up on your calculus, or caravan
with friends for a week of hedonistic high-jinks in the land of sun, surf, suds and
well-toned women. Tough decision? Hardly. More than 1,000,000 collegians
each year set aside their books in favor of a week-long education they can’t get in a
classroom. Call it Spring Break 101, for which the only prerequisite is a “Let's get to-
tally wild” attitude. Playboy photographers followed the masses to three of the top
spring-break hot spots—Daytona Beach, Florida; South Padre Island, Texas; and
Palm Springs, California. Here are their visual notes. Start memorizing, dudes.

A reol crowd pleaser, Duncanville, Texos, native Carolyn O'Briant (opposite, porticipating in
a tan-line competition) has taken home more than $3000 in prize money in the post year for
sharing her personal assets in bikini, hot-legs ond skirt-flirt contests throughout the Lone-
Stor State. This was her first spring break, she says, adding: "I knew it would be crazy, but
never this wild.” In Palm Springs (top), banners spell out the California celebrants’ motto
while the guys in the background guzzle a few cold ones from a beer bong. Across the conti-
nent (cbove], well-oiled beauties in Doytono Beach, Florida, strike a more sobering pose.

Tired af the same old faces around campus? Spring break
attracts students from hundreds of U.S. colleges. Meet Kari
Beth La Croix (left). Hotter than the Palm Springs desert sun,
Kari is a Palm Desert resident and college sophomore who's
searching far a mysterious, intelligent man who wants to
toke control. He had better nat expect her to sit around
watching Manday Night Football, though. Kari likes anly
sports involving water. She's not alone in her desire to get wet. A thirsty spring
brecker on South Padre gets a lift to the tap (above), while in Daytona (oppo-
site, top left and right), romance blossoms on the beach and ice water puts
things infa perspective. Gina Boggie, from Shoreline Community College in
narth Seattle, ond her pal Michelle Mullica, af suburban Denver (opposite, bot-
tom), catch a Sauth Padre wave. And the sun may be shining, but there's a full
macn at а body-painting contest nearby (below). In Palm Springs (bottom),
you'll need same transpartation for the cruise down Palm Canyon Drive (there's
no beach in the desert, so this is where everyone hangs). We suggest o bullet
bike and a passenger in thong bikini. Perhaps someone like Wendy Christine
(bottom left), a University af Georgia senior who'll go along for the ride, if
you're “tall, dark, handsome and don't have too much hair on your chest.”

People wotching is o favorite spring-break postime. in Doy-
tona, you can drive your cor right up onto the beoch to
check out the sights (opposite, top ond bottom left]. You'll
need o blonket on South Podre—we sugges! you plont
it olongside someone speciol, such os Christine Hedrick
(opposite, center left) or Brittney Roche (opposite, top right).
Brittney is o fitness instructor in north Texos, os well os on

ospiring actress. But fomily comes before fome in her book. "My porents hove
the strongest morrioge I’ve ever seen,” she soys. “1 can only hope I'll be thor
lucky." Christine, onother Hollywood hopeful, is o Konsos City resident who
doesn't expect to get by on looks alone. She's studying theoter ond broodcost
performance ond soys, “The most ottroctive ottribute one con have is an outgo-
ing, friendly personolity.” Our photographer tells us she hos much more. So
does Joon Donoto (opposite, bottom right), o New York City native and oerobics
instructor who moonlights os o model. Not oll femole spring breakers are look-

ig for the limelight. Andi Corey (top right) is studying biologicol reseorch ot In-
diono University in Bloomington. Moybe the crowds in Polm Springs (obove) ond
Doytona Beoch (right ond below) will give her insight into onimol behovior.

"Рт going to be a star,” says Ramah Tabory (top left) dur-
ing her photo session in Palm Springs. This 54", 113-pound
model and dancer soys she's o happy person ond loves to
make other people feel the same way. Men who ore pushy,
overly aggressive or hung up on money will never benefit
from Ramah’s generosity, though. She likes guys who are
low key ond "secure enough to be themselves.” Another
Polm Springs vacationer, Cherish Coss (top right), is a self-described tomboy
who con often be found tooling under the hood of a car or racing down the Cal-
ifornio highwoys on her motorcycle. While Cherish is on the road, Daytona
spring breoker Soula Theo (opposite poge) is likely to be at home preparing her
fovorite Greek meol. A Wisconsin restaurant manager and port-time model,
Sovlo tokes pride in her heritoge. She studies folk dancing in her spore time ond
hopes to own a Greek restaurant someday. This entrepreneurial spirit runs in
the family, she soys: "Both of my porents own their own business." Soula got
a kick out of posing for Playboy; another spring breaker on South Podre (be-
low) flips over the opportunity. And while Palm Springs troffic (bottom) left no
room for acrobatics, folks seem to hove all the right moves poolside in South
Padre (bottom left) os well os on the sidewolks of Palm Springs (center left)

не cırı. was blonde, sexy, beautiful. and

the way she fondled her Heineken

seemed to beckon, Take me home. But

when Michael met her at a college party

ten years ago, he wasn't sold. After half

an hour of dancing, he abandoned her by
the bean dip because of one unforgivable flaw: She
was only 19 years old.

“I was twenty-two, a month away from graduation,
and I didn't like to date younger girls," says Michael,
now a 32-year-old video producer in New York. "Back
then, I thought there was this huge gulf between nine-
teen and twenty-two—she was only a year out of high
school, but I was about to go out into the world. Why
waste my time with some kid?"

So it came as a shock last year when Michael's
friends met his new lover. He'd found her on the set of
a commercial shoot and had wined and dined her for
weeks before introducing her to his gang. Julie
shocked his friends not because she looked so per-
fect—she was blonde, sexy and beautiful—but because
she was only 19 years old.

When Julie left the room, Michael's friends closed in
for the grill.

“I don't know—I just like her,” he said helplessly. “I
can't help it if she's nineteen." Since college, he'd had
three long-term relationships with women his age; he
lived with two of them, almost married the other. He'd
never been interested in younger women. So why was
he suddenly dating a girl just this side of jailbait, a
pouty-lipped plaything who was five years old when he
was a freshman in college? Julie ate Cocoa Krispies,
watched endless MTV, had homework to do and
waged constant fights with her mom and dad. It was
like—like dating a teenager. What was Michael doing?

Whatever it was, he wasnt alone. His best friend, a
30-year-old photographer, had dated a 21-year-old for
nearly a year. Three of Julie’s girlfriends also dated
older men. Sometimes Michael and the guys got
together at the corner bar, toasting the wonders of
coeds, But while he outwardly joked, inwardly he
wondered if he were going screwy. Some of his friends
called him “cradle robber” and said he needed years
of therapy. Now even he wondered what the hell he
was doing.

It took an article in The New York Times to clear
things up. Michael and his friend weren't cradle rob-
bing—they were “poaching,” a sociological phe-
nomenon that's sweeping America and may be the
dating trend of the Nineties.

Men have dated younger women since cave-man
days, but poaching has a modern twist. The Times says
it's caused by a variety of sociological factors:

* There's a shortage of single women in America.
For every six single men between 20 and 29, there are
only five single women. In a kind of sexual musical
chairs, many men are forced to “date down” in age to
find desirable partners.

e Women are having babies at a younger age. Since
the Sixties, many women have put off childbirth until
their mid-30s, focusing first on careers. But late child-
birth has medical and psychological risks; in a post-
feminist backlash, more women are now having
children in their late 20s or even earlier. Many men
are forced to date younger and younger women if
they merely want sex and fun or relationships with
low levels of commitment.

e The single-women shortage causes stiff competi-
tion among single men 18 to 24, but their problem
is compounded by yet another threat: older, more

THE FINE ART

POACHING

article

By DAVID SEELEY

in today's romantic
market place, young guys
are being aced out by
thirty-something sharks
with new money
and some very old moves

ILLUSTRATION BY ALAN REINGOLD

PLAYBOY

affluent men like Michael who swoop
down to poach young girls away from
them. These poachers have formidable
advantages: They're more confident,
successful, sophisticated and worldly.
Some even drive Porsches.

Finally, the Nineties may be so high-
tech and speedy that the mid-life crisis
strikes men earlier than ever. Instead
of going on a tear when they're 42 and
divorced, American men today feel
frighteningly old at 30. They see 21-
year-old screenwriters cutting million-
dollar deals, Brat Pack sex symbols
who barely need to shave, novelists and
software czars who've made it big at 22.
Poachers breeze through their 20s,
sure they'll be young forever. When
their 30th birthday hits like a brick
wall, they do the only reasonable thing:
They have affairs with sexy young girls.

You'd think this would solve all their
problems. Michael has a cool job, an
expense account, а loft in downtown
Manhattan. He's constantly jetting
from New York to L.A. and, on top of
that, he's dating a wrinkle-free babe
who could have leapt from the pages of
this magazine. So why is he anxious?
Because poaching has perils as well as
pleasures. Sleeping with vibrant, beau-
tiful young girls can be dangerous, em-
barrassing, humiliating. Michael has
endured torment, practical jokes and
what may be an ulcer since he set his
sights on a college girl. And compared
with some guys, he has gotten off easy.

WHY MEN POACH

What's so great about college girls?
Patrick, a 34-year-old Dallas architect,
has a simple answer.

"Fresher minds and fresher bodies,"
he says rapturously. "When you've dat-
ed women for fifteen years or so, you
start getting stale romantically With
younger girls, everything's fresh again.
Women my age get narrow about what
they can or can't do, everything from
sex and drugs to just going to a movie
on a moment's notice. But you can call
younger girls at the last minute on a
Saturday night or drag them to hear
some band at midnight on a Monday,
and they'll think it's great. They're al-
most like a tonic—when I'm with them,
I feel more stimulated, alive."

Dan, a 32-year-old Los Angeles copy
writer, likes having the freedom to ro-
mance younger girls without worrying
that he's leading them on. "With wom-
en my age, you have to be careful how
close you get. If you give a thirty-year-
old woman flowers, it's almost like a
proposal of marriage. But with a
younger girl, you can make all kinds of
gestures. You can let yourself go, in-
dulge in the kind of whirlwind ro-
mance you used to have all the time in
your younger twenties."

Poaching can be like moving to Paris
or Berlin—there's a whole new culture
to be absorbed. College girls speak a
different language; their CD players
pump out bands from another galaxy,
with names like the Buck Pets, An
Emotional Fish, Chickasaw Mudd Pup-
pies and the Goo Goo Dolls. Their look
may change radically in 94 hours, from
a Deadhead tie-dyed shirt and rose-
tinted glasses to bicycle pants and a
push-up bra. Their lives tend to be
frantic, jammed with dates, classes and
curious jobs. A poacher may arrive for
a date to find one of her roommates
gulping pills while clutching The Bell
Jar, another doing yoga nude on a
fold-out couch, while the poachee her-
self slips a diamond stud in her nose
and says, "Won't be a second."

Coeds may ask a poacher to lick acid
from a blotter sheet of Bart Simpson
heads, climb a water tower at three am.
or eat Ethiopian food out of a can.
These things just don't happen with
30-year-old women, who'd rather
phone out for Chinese and watch Ghost
on the VCR.

Michael felt as electrified as Patrick
when he started dating a younger girl.
Julie had an alarming level of energy
and an appetite for food, drink and sex
that kept him reeling. Racing the
streets of Manhattan only an hour be-
fore dawn, he'd gather Julie in his
arms, clutch her slender, almost
anorexic rib cage and kiss her just to
catch his breath. The years seemed to
fall away from him; he bought cooler
clothes, went out every night. Other
young women began to flirt with him,
and soon he wasn’t going out with just
Julie. After 15 years of being someone's
longtime, dependable boyfriend, and
to the astonishment of his friends,
Michael became a sex god.

WHO'S POACHING WHOM?

When coeds get entangled with 30-
year-old men, it’s not always clear
who's poaching whom. Many college
girls aren't content with schoolgirl ro-
mances—they see frat boys chugging
beer and mooning passers-by and
shake their heads at such juvenile non-
sense. What these coeds want is a man,
someone with a level of politesse few
college boys can attain. And they aren't
shy about going out and finding him.

“1 haven't dated guys my age since I
was fourteen,” says Laurie, a 21-year-
old University of Texas ju r "I watch
my friends with their boyfriends, and
I'm glad I don't. It's a drag when a guy
is still living with his parents or still in
school or broke all the time. I'd much
rather date a guy who's more estab-
lished, who makes a living and knows
what he's doing. Older men have been
around more and done more. They

have more to offer. They're more re-
spectful and more polite—they aren't
just concerned with getting drunk and
getting laid."

Kate, a 22-year-old graduate of
Columbia, couldn't agree more.

“A girl has to be crazy these days
to go out with guys under thirty," she
says. "Guys in their twenties just don’t
know whether they're coming or go-
ing—it's a kind of confusion that fades
away later on. Guys my age are like,
‘Maybe I should do this, maybe I
should do that,’ and these are all ques-
tions I answered long ago. They just
have very little to offer at that age.”

Kate finds it perfectly normal to date
men ten years older. “It’s no big deal.
Relating-wise, it just works better. It’s
also what I call the work issue: Who's
doing the work? With younger men, I
get so tired of suggesting things, point-
ing out things, saying, ‘Perhaps we
should do this.’ It's just a vast and in-
credible relief to date older guys, be-
cause they know what to do.”

SEX AND THE SINGLE FOACHER

Nabokov's Lolita was blessed with a
curious mixture of innocence and eerie
vulgarity The same can be said for
many college girls, who may have blind
spots in the most basic areas—such as
groping or undressing in a provocative
way—but be marvelously skilled in the
most advanced, unlikely perversions.
Poachers may not encounter any coed
virgins (70 percent of women have had
intercourse by the age of 18, and girls
who date older men are probably even
more likely to be sexually active), but
they're certain to find some surprises.
One girl told Dan that she lost her vir-
ginity at 16—while wearing handcuffs.
And that was just for starters.

“Women my age aren't into recre-
ational sex,” Michael says. "But college
girls are at that experimental stage
where they want to try everything. It's
almost like they're more like guys when
it comes to sex. They can have an affair
just for the excitement, without its be-
coming a big deal."

Patrick has had many carnal coed
adventures. One girl shared him with
her roommate on a cold winter night,
after the heater broke in her apart-
ment. Their ménage à trois progressed
to the music of chattering teeth, and
everything Patrick touched had goose
pimples. Another time, he spent the
weekend with a girl who, in an
apotheosis of poaching, took out her
retainer before performing oral sex.

But not all coeds are wild and
kinky—some approach sex with a shy-
ness and eagerness to learn that make
poachers grow faint with longing.

“Sometimes I feel like an explorer,”

(continued on page 145)

“You're not really gonna stick that treaty
Up your ass, are you, sir?”

ENS FASHION designers took the

"Think green" message to heart

this year. No, recyclable fabrics

and biodegradable buttons aren't

in the line-up for spring and
summer. But green, the color, definitely is. With shades
ranging from grayish green to olive, and with styles that
are just as diverse, green is Ihe hue to choose this season
in suits and sports coats. Check out a traditional six-but-
ton double-breasted suit made of lightweight wool or an
unconventional one-button single-breasted model in a
loose-fitting crepe or linen fabric. In keeping with the
toned-down colors, dress shirts have gone from bold and
striped to solid white. All-cotton is still your best bet, as
are shirts with long, sofi-pointed collars and French cuffs.
Smarten the outfit with a pair of cuff links and a silk tie.
While there are still plenty of retro-style ties around, new
trends in neckwear point to deep-toned brocades and
pastels with abstract floral patterns. Pocket squares are
another great way to add a splash of color. (A white linen
square will accent that white dress shirt.) Even sports
coats have gone soft this season. Colors are muted and
fabrics are smooth to the touch. Select a two- or three-
button model in a shade such as taupe or sage and wear
it with a denim, chambray or washed-silk work shirt and
a colorful tie. This dressy yet sporty style can also be had
by conibi
ed three-button jacket in soft washed linen. Finally, if
you're in the market for weekend outerwear that's color-
fully distinctive, look slick and stay dry in a bright-col-
ored jacket made of a functional, water-resistant fabric.

g a sweater and T-shirt with an unconstruct-

Left: This cool, crisp combination pairs a wool/microfiber-
blend six-button double-breasted suit, $800, with a white cot-
ton shirt, $110, both by Hugo Boss; silk brocade tie, by AKM,
about $70; white linen pocket squore, by Ferrell Reed, about
$13; snuff-colored suede wing-tip shoes, by Cole Hoan. $225;
and cotton socks with florol clocking pattern, by Crookhorn
Davis, about $18. Need some more sage fashion advice for
the coming spring and summer season? Check out this sage-
colored, wool-ribbed crepe one-button single-breosted suit
(right) with notched lopels ond double-pleoted ponts, $750,
white cotton dress shirt with straight-point collor, $45, and
pastel abstract-print silk-crepe tie, $62, all by Bill Robinson.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY CHRIS SANOERS

chill out in
the hottest styles
of the season

SPRING
AND
SUMMER
FASHION
FORECAST

fashion By HOLLIS WAYNE

JAMES IMBROGNO

Great looks for collor and cuff. Ties, focing
poge, right to left: Budding-cherubs-de-
sign silk-crepe Jacquord tie, by Audrey
Buckner, obout $BO. Grecian-motif silk tie,
by Valentino, obout $63. Abstract-pot-
terned silk-twill tie, by Ungoro, obout $63.
Comeo-motif silk tie, by Paul Smith, about
$90. Fontosy florol-print silk-crepe tie, by
Verri, obout $85. Tapestry-pattemed silk
Jocquord tie, by АКМ, obout $65. Cuff
links, right to left: Lonvin sterling-silver-
and-enomel vintoge ort-deco cuf links,
from Bizorre Bazoor, New York, obout
$375. Striped sterling-silver cuff links, by
Liso Jenks, obout $175. Hommered-
18-kt.-gold shield-shoped cuff links, by
Elizabeth Locke, obout $990. Triongulor-
shoped sterling-silver cuff links, by Lau-
rence DeVries for the LS Collection, about
$70. Right: This happy man is no fashion
hot deg in his mustord-colored cotton-
doth blouson jocket, $360, worn with a
linen multicolored florol-print shirt, $295,
both by Alexonder Julion. Spreod the word.

Left: Update yaur classic style with a plaid
linen-and-cotton cardigan three-button
jacket, about $730, a cotton knit shori-
sleeved crew-neck sweater, about $100,
and khaki-colored cotton double-pleated
trousers, about $250, all by Ronaldus
Shomesk; plus sunglasses with tortoise-
colored frames and dark-brown lenses, by
Persol, $195. Right: Socks and suspenders
that deliver a smart fashion punch below
and above the beltline include (left to
right): Fish-bubble-peHerned coton/ny-
lon-blend sacks with multicolored dots on
an olive-green background, by Laura Peor-
son, $21. Mercerized coHon/nylon-blend
socks with symbols of Manhattan as an in-
tegrated pattern, by E. G. Smith Socks from
The Sir Real Collection, $10. Silk water-
calor foral-patterned braces, by Ermene-
gildo Zegna, abaut $99. Woven-silk
braces, by AKM, about $75. Summer-art-
patterned cottan/nylon-blend socks, by
Studio Tokyo, $12. Watch-patierned cot-
ton/nylon socks, by Gordon Walker, $11.

JAMES IMBROCNO

Where & How to Buy on page 168.

Left: Beat the summer heat in this no-swel-
ter hand-knit sweater in a tropical-fruit
print, $165, worn with navy catton/linen
dauble-pleated trousers, about $75, bath
by Roger Forsythe for Perry Ellis. Right:
Why choose between a cosual and a
dressy look when the secson's hottest
styles combine a bit of both? This fellow
combines о neutral-colored glen-plaid
silk/linen/wool-blend single-breosted
notched-lopel jacket with open patch
pockets, $625, with khaki soft washed-
linen/cotton double-reverse-pleated
trousers with off-seam besom pockets,
$225, a midnight-blue sond-washed-silk
buttondown shirt, $205, silk faded-
tapestry floral-print tie, $75, ond paisley
pocket square, $40, all by Joseph Abboud.

as men grapple with their

blocked maturity, a figure

of primal strength has

emerged from the ooze

ALL
OF THE

WILD

article By Asa Baber This
is about a revolution in male self-
perception. Women have had their
opportunity to create their cultural
revolution. Now it is our turn. After
too many years of allowing other peo-
ple to define us, we are going to define
ourselves.

Just for openers, do you remember
when you first realized that m
their own problems in thi E
Was there a moment when you saw
that sexism was as frequently targeted
against men as against women?

When did you recognize that the
formation of a solid male identity was
not always easy to achieve in this soci-
ety, that there were as many obstacles
to growth and maturity and equality for
men as there were for women?

And, finally, how long have you
yearned to turn this feminized and
prejudiced culture on its ear and assert
your own identity and worth as a man?

Stick around; the next revolution is
happening. Men—the average guy, not
the GQ dandy, not the teacher's pet —
are taking back the culture. It isa great
time to be alive.

The seeds of my own revolution
ere planted early. The year was 1973
he place was Honolulu. At the time, 1

was losing custody of my two sons, Jim
and Brendan, ages eight and five

The sexism against men that I found
in divorce court and its auendant

ILLUSTRATION BY KINUKO Y CRAFT

PLAYBOY

100

provinces was overwhelming. In law
offices, in courtrooms, in counseling
sessions with the so-called experts who
staffed the system, in classroom meet-
ings with teachers and administrators,
I was learning that the sexist bias
against men in child-custody matters
was intense and all-encompassing. The
male in the divorce process was consid-
ered an irrelevant appendage to the
nuclear family.

I fought hard for it, but I knew in my
heart that I didn’t have much of a
chance of winning custody of Jim and
Brendan. In those days, something like
95 percent of contested child custody
cases were resolved in favor of the
mother. (The figures are a little better
today, but the system is still stacked
against the father’s rights.)

I had been a good father, a very in-
volved father, a man who had spent at
least as much time with his children as
their mother had. But 1 lost custody of
my sons, and the weight of that deci-
sion shattered me. I was losing the two
most important people in my life,
young sons who had taught me how to
love, how to nurture, how to pare
down my aggressive ego and place oth-
er human beings ahead of myself.

After the divorce, 1 went through
several years of feeling unmanly and
useless. Cut off from my sons—com-
munications between us often obstruct-
ed, visitation frequently under threat
of change and postponement—I had
no pride in myself as a male.

All of these difficulties and failures
were important things for me to expe-
rience, however. Without any precon-
ceived plan, I started writing about the
subject of men and the sexist preju-
dices they endure. At first, I wrote for
myself, to explain things to myself. And
then 1 got lucky. Playboy published an
article of mine in December 1978 titled
Who Gets Screwed in a Divorce? I Do! In
that article, I talked about the difficult
problems that men face in divorce and
child-custody cases. I discussed the
need for divorce reform. I also consid-
ered a larger subject (and one that is
central to the next revolution): "How
can we find identity and pride and self-
worth as men?"

It was a simple but important ques-
tion, and not many people were asking
it publicly in those days. "Men must be-
gin making a case for themselves," I
wrote. "Manhood is an honorable con-
dition. .. . It seems clear that men need
help today perceiving themselves as
men, and such help can come only
from themselves.” 1 outlined certain
qualities that American males have
abundance but do not always advertise,
including qualities such as courage,
generosity, sensitivity, intellect, wit and
humor “Men have a job to do

redefining our roles and reaching out
for health and identity," I wrote.

My 1978 prediction about male re-
sourcefulness turned out to be accu-
rate. It took us a while, but here at the
beginning of the Nineties, we are
redefining our roles as men. That is
what the next revolution is about: the
establishment of a tough and loving
male identity that cannot be obliterated
by the sexism and prejudice under
which we live,

We are aiming for the very best qual-
ities of manhood. In pursuit of this
goal, groups of men across the country
are starting to meet on evenings and
weekends to attend workshops, to
think and explore and write and exam-
ine their roles as men. True, their ef-
fors are occasionally awkward and
improvisational and, yes, there are
times when their methods could easily
be mocked and misunderstood. But
that docs not discourage them. "For
this is the journey that men make,"
wrote Jamcs Michener in 7he Fires of
Spring. “To find themselves. If they fail
in this, it doesn't matter what else they
find.”

In April 1982, 1 published my first
Men column, "Role Models." In it, I
talked about the way men learn and
work and grow: "Men are by nature
collegiate. We are convivial scavengers,
patching our personalities together
with chewing gum and baling wire. We
collect traits from a million different
sources."

"The sources we are using to patch to-
gether our male revolution are likewise
numerous and eclectic. They include
the writings of Carl Jung, the poems,
stories and interviews of Robert Bly,
Bruno Bettelheim's theories about the
uses of enchantment, fragments of
fairy tales from the brothers Grimm,
the work of Joseph Campbell, medieval
legends about King Arthur's court, the
perceptions and storytelling of the
contemporary mythologist Michael
Meade, the novels of D. H. Lawrence,
the writings of William James, Ameri-
can Indian practices and rituals, seg-
ments of classical Greek myths, the
writings and lectures of John Brad-
shaw on the origins and functions of
shame in our culture, the insights of
Jungian psychoanalyst Robert Moore
and a host of other influences and
Properties.

Let's take a quick look at two men
from the roster just listed: Joseph
Campbell and Robert Bly.

A fundamental source for our next
revolution is the work of the late schol-
ar Joseph Campbell. His writings, in-
cluding such books as The Hero with a
Thousand Faces and Myths to Live By, and
his interviews with Bill Moyers on PBS

(published under the title The Power of
Myth), have shown men how to take
myths and stories from different ages
and different cultures and make them
useful in their own lives.

Myths are “models for understanding
your own life," Campbell says. "Any-
body going on a journey, inward or
outward, to find values, will be on a
journey that has been described many
times in the myths of mankind."

It is this idea of the journey inward,
every man an explorer and hero as he
faces his inner self, that suits us as men
today. Our fathers and their fathers
before them faced great hazards and
overcame them with courage and per-
sistence. And although their journeys
were generally outward bound, not in-
ner directed, the heroes of those an-
cient myths serve as examples as we
confront our own difficulties and scru-
tinize the dynamics of our own male
identity. Granted, it takes some gran-
diosity for the contemporary American
male to see himself as an explorer em-
barking on a difficult expedition, but.
he is just that.

Under the fire of contemporary fem-
inist scolding and sexism, the average
man has been forced to question his
identity and sexuality, and he has usu-
ally done so in isolation. But if he ex-
amines the myths of the past, he will
learn that he is not as sequestered as he
thought, that other men have traveled
into treacherous territory before, ex-
perienced certain risks and come out of
the labyrinth alive and well.

"Take the tale of Aeneas. Wandering
the world after the fall of Troy, Aeneas
ventures into the underworld in search
of his father, Anchises. Aeneas fords the
dreadful river Styx, braves his way past
Cerberus, the monstrous three-headed
watchdog of Hades and finally man-
ages to converse with the ghost of An-
chises, who teaches Aeneas things he
needs to know to continue his journey.
Like most sons encountering a long-ab-
sent father, Aeneas tries to embrace his
father, but his efforts are in vain; his fa-
ther is a spirit and physically unavail-
able. However, Aeneas leaves Hades
with his father's advice clear in his
mind, bolstered by this visit into the
unknown.

Most men can identify with the jour-
ney of Aeneas (which is recounted in
Virgil's Aeneid). First, we understand
the demands of the physical risks that
Aeneas ran. Our lives, too, begin with
boyhood quarrels and athletic compe-
tition that continue into vigorous
adulthood (yes, boys are raised differ-
ently from girls). Second, we identify
with Aeneas' loneliness, because our
lives 2re frequently unsupported 2nd
isolated, in our homes as well as in the

(continued on page 142)

"What's wrong? Didn't you ever wake up in a strange bed before?”

PHOTOGRAPHY BY RICHARD FEGLEY

All)

playmate christina leardini combines the best of both worlds

HRISTINA LEARDINI Was a natural candidate for Operation

Playmate—a letter-writing campaign to cheer soldiers sta-

tioned in Saudi Arabia. For one thing, a career in modeling

(including a stint with our lingerie specials) has turned her

into a compulsive correspondent. "I have pen pals—pho-
tographers, models everywhere. | write to keep in touch. Just
little notes. Maybe quotes from the Bible or a book I've enjoyed.
It keeps me real." But there are other reasons. For one thing,
Christina's exotic beauty is the result of a Saudi/American al-
liance that occurred some 22 years ago between her U.S.-born
mom and a Saudi doctor. The union was short-lived, and her fa-
ther moved on. "I have stepbrothers and stepsisters I have nev-
er seen, who may not be aware that I exist. I wonder how they'd
feel about me, what they look like." Although she has Arab
blood, the letter-writing campaign is her first real contact with
the strict world of Saudi culture: "We can't be sexy or we could
get censored. Obviously, we can't send copies of Playboy. 1 hope

"I'm one of the strongest people | know, but it would score the daylights
out of me to be overseas. Our soldiers are younger thon 1 om, and they
are facing combat. How could | not support them? This is o fomily
affair. | write ot home. My five-year-old son is writing letters at school."

by the time this issue comes out, the boys
I've written will be home to see it.” (Not
that her letters would have been all that
sexy—she is a happily married mom.)
Letter writing suits her in another way.
"I'd love to be a comedian," Christina
says. "I would like to play the funny,
stupid characters on Saturday Night Live—
the bag lady—anyone not required to
wear a push-up bra. But 1 don't have the
guts. I couldn't stand in front of an audi-
ence.” When we got a chance to watch
Christina in action, we saw what she
meant. She is more at home with Willy the
hotel doorman than she is with crowds of
admirers. She is not interested in celebrity
or popularity but in one-on-one impact.
She wants to be remembered as special,
one person at a time. Indeed, she will be.

Christina is a survivor. She looks back on her
years os a single mom (she is now married)
with some pride. She struggled ta make ends
meet, working in fast-food chains and fancy
restaurants. Lou Maggio, a Tampa agent, en-
couraged her to try modeling. It's a bit more
fun than sweeping up French fries. The happy
end to this contemporary Cinderella story is
right before your eyes. From adversity, becuty.

PLAYMATE DATA SHEET

BUST: OF warst: 23 mps: AH _

HEIGHT: 58" wercnr:_/09 008

BIRTH DATE: /-2 2.67 BIRTHPLACE:

AMBITIONS:

financial security To other words...a perfect life.
ons: Simple Kindness, heart-to-heact talks, soft

TURN-OFFS:
FAVORITE FOODS: Messy, meaty, cheesy, saucy... _

FAVORITE PERFORMERS:

SM е mm
FAVORITE COMPLIMENTS: ou're too pretty to be ims nice _

х 2 n

M ›
мү орипон:— My personality doescit match my looks...

MY LIFE STORY;

1988 HALLOWEEN WITH Just ANOTHER DAY PRACTICING TO
MY BEST Buddy, AUSTIN ON THE JOB BE A COMEDIAN!

Christina looks like the kind of
woman yau find in an Obsession
ad, but, she says, “I'm a nerd
tropped in a madel's body. Araund
the house, | wear a Mickey Mouse
sweat shirt, high taps, o pony tail.
My ideo af a good time is watching
cortaans with my son or eating
pizza with my husbond [of one
year]. We're just nice people."

PLAYBOY'S PARTY JOKES

Waking up late one morning, President Gor-
bachev shuffled to the window and looked out
at the streets of Moscow below. To his amaze-
ment, they were deserted. He picked up hi
phone and called several ministers, but no one
answered

Finally, Go:

ichev's phone rang. “W
going on?” he asked his foreign ministei
"Where is everyone? Why doesn't anyone an-
swer his phone?"
“Don't you remembe

Last night,

эп got

drunk and told the evening-news interviewer
that anyone who wasnt happy in Russia could
leay

“Oh, this is terrible. 1 don't remember a
thing.” Gorbachev moaned. "Does it mean just
the two of us are lef

“No, just you, sir," the minister replied.
calling trom New York."

In observance of their 20th wedding anniver-
sary, Carol and Tom returned to the hotel
where they had spent their honeymoon. As
they got ready for bed, Carol turned to him
and coyly cooed, “Honey, what were you
thinking twenty years ago tonight?

7] was thinking I'd screw your brains out,"
m replied.

Well,” Carol purred, “what are you think-
ing now?

"I guess," Tom answ
thought, "that it worked."

Diogenes set about to se:
lawyer. After some time,
“How is your quest going

"Not too bad," he replied. “I still have my
lantern.”

d after a moments

ch for an honest
a passer-by asked,

Two elderly gentlemen were sitting on a park
bench, watching the girls go by. “You know,”
one said with a sigh, "until justa few years ago,

T only had to we a pretty girl
erection.”
“And now?
"Now..."
so good."

nd Га ger

eplied the first, “now I doi

see

Please, Tracy.” the photographer implored his
model, “give me some life. What's troubling

yfriend lost all his money in the stock

she explained.

‘Oh, too bad," the photographer symp:

thized. “I'm sure you're feeling sorry for him.
"Yeah, Lam,” she said. "Hell miss me.”

During an exclusive interview with a nation
news-magazine reporter, Richard Nixon o
fered his expansive views on domestic policy
eign relations. Finally, the discussion
turned to his political career and the ex-Presi-
nt admitted that he would consider running
ion's highest office.

7" the stunned reporter asked.
ixon replied. “Same as last time."

Come on, Fr
"your wife's r
you do if you found a
her

“Pd break his white cane and shoot his dog.”

К,” one friend said to another,
t as bad as you say. What would
scher man in bed with

While looking up to admire their work, two
window washers were distressed to see one
dirty window they had overlooked on the top
floor of the 30-story skyscraper. "What do we
do now?” Sam asked

“Hmmm,” Frank said. “I have a
low me

After taking the elevator 10 the roof. Frank
told Sam to hold him by the suspenders as
he hung over the side of the building to clean
the window. While dangling, Fr
burst out in a fit of laughtei

“What's so damn funny?” Sam asked.

“Just imagine,” Frank replied, chortling, "if
my suspenders broke, the smack you'd get in
the lace.”

п idea. Fol-

а Cosmo woman's favorite sexual posi-

ing Bloomingdale's.

The 70-year-old n t down in the orthope-
dic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said,
“Гуе made love in more exotic cars than any-
one I know. Must be at least a thousand.

“And now, 1 suppose, you want me to treat
you for the arthritis you got from scrunching
spin all those cramped positions," the medic
said

Hell, no." the old fellow replied. * want to
borrow your Lamborghini.

Heard a funny one lately? Send it on a be t-
card, plase, to Party jokes Editor Playboy,
680 North Lake Shore Drive, Chicago, Hlinois
60611. $100 will be paid to the contributor
whose card is selected. Jokes cannot be returned.

"He's terribly sensitive—art gives him an erection."

vá N F THE THREE logi-
cal routes Stan
could take from
N A| his home to the
television station
where he worked. he chose the
one with the most trees. He sel-
dom varied that part of his
routine, avoiding the faster,
more efficient freeway and the
only slightly less efficient thor-
oughfare in favor of a leisurely
drive past homes he would
never be able to afford, past the
high school where the students
had better cars than he would
ever own, past the shopping
center where he often took his
wife and two young daughters
to while away a Saturday after-
noon. He wore a polo shirt
and clean, pressed chinos—the
standard uniform of a 35-year-
old executive stopping by his
office for a few hours on a Sat-
urday to catch up on work or
attend an urgent meeting.

He drove an older Volvo,
one that ran well but otherwise
showed its age. His wife had
given him personalized license

unlike stan’s other
white lies, this one
was made toa
dying man before
67 witnesses

ELL

plates three years before—
KBxT-23, they read—and at first,
they made him cringe. Later,
he came to like them. Since
they were the call letters of the
small UHF TV station that he
managed, people could as-
sume that the battered Volvo
was a company car rather than
simply the best he could afford.

Stan pulled the Volvo into an
empty slot near the far sound
stage. A few cars were already
parked nearby—cars even old-
er and more decrepit than his.
They belonged to the crew.
And there, of course, in all its
purple garishness, was Uncle
Andy Gee's Fun Van. Andy Gee
had vanity plates, too. They
read ruxakipz.

He entered the garagelike
studio. Tiny cameras—looking
more like the ones used for
home movies than for a real
television show—were being
wheeled into position around
the Fun House set.

"Stanley, I'm so glad you're
here. This will be a very special
show. (continued on page 150)

fiction By STEPHEN RANDALL

ILLUSTRATION BY STASYS EIDRIGEVICIUS

2 0 U E

TM N

GEORGE FOREMAN

n April 19, George Foreman, a terror
during the early Seventies, will chal-
lenge Evander Hohfield for the heavy-
weight championship of the world in a bout
that some ring observers believe will more
closely resemble burlesque than boxing.
Maybe they're right. By boxing standards,
Foreman is a geezer. Big George turned 43
on January 22 and no longer has the sculpt-
ed physique he sported when he won the title
with a savage two-round knockout of Joe
Frazier in 1973. The cruelest of his critics
claim that Foreman has ballooned up to pro-
portions enjoyed by such eminent nonathletes
as weatherman Willard Scott and actor
Charles Durning. Lawrence Linderman,
who interviewed Foreman at his gym in
Houston, dismisses such talk. "George is
heavy, but he isn't obese, and he can still hit
like a mule," Linderman says. “Angelo
Dundee, who trained Muhammad Ali and
Sugar Ray Leonard, thinks Foreman won't
be a pushover, and so does the betting public:
Foreman is only a five-to-one underdog. The
price on Buster Douglas was forty-three to
one when he beat Mike Tyson in Japan, so
upset isn't all that improbable. But it is
unlikely: Holyfield, a proud warrior, isn't
taking Foreman lightly—which would be
impossible to do, no matter how he felt about
the fight."

PLAYBOY: You may be big and strong,
George, but you're old—the oldest ex-
champ ever to try to regain the heavy-
weight crown. Don't you think you're a
lite long in the tooth to be fighting for

the title?
the rings iak i that
senior ee es
statesman 5 2nd шок
weighs İn ON — out Pen
getting old, — seing te mate eo
beating evan- hose BUT.

der holyfield cv "
and the aoa how
joys of a

seafood diet

fighter you were

when you were
the champ at
PHOTOGRAPHY BY LEE CRUM

twenty-five?
FOREMAN: First of
all, I'm forty-two,

not forty-three, like everybody thinks.
And 1 like being forty-two. As a matter
of fact, I'm more suited to the age I am
now than I was when I was in my twen-
ties. I'm a better boxer, a better sales-
man and a better human being. I'm
glad I didn't try to come back atan ear-
lier age, like twenty-nine or thirty. Now
I'm much morc stable, and I can still
do everything I did in my previous ca-
reer. In fact, I've added things to my
repertoire. For instance, I think I'm a
faster puncher than when I was
younger. In order to get a knockout,
you have to hit a guy with a shot he
doesn't see. I've knocked out twenty-
three of the twenty-four guys Гуе
fought since coming back, so you've
gotta consider my speed much more
advanced now, because they don't see
the punch that I hit them with.

pLaysor: That may have less to do with
speed than with the caliber of oppo-
nents you've faced. Boxing writers are
unanimous in claiming that you've
ducked bouts against good fighters
and, instead, have fought what they
call "tomato cans." Why are they saying
that, George?

Laughs] They're saying that
because it's true. Boxing is a nice, won-
derful sport, but after a while, most
people who participate in it sound
crazy, and 1 don't want that to happen
to me. Going around fighting the
toughest guys in the world could have
left me in pitiful shape, to the point
where when we'd have company at
home, my kids wovld whisper, "Daddy,
go back in your room." Some people
say, "Hey, George, you haven't done
anything. You haven't been bleeding
and you haven't really fought any-
body.” Well, that's the way I like it, and
shame on them. If there are guys out
there who are tomato cans, I’m gonna
fight ‘em; if they shouldn't be fighting,
take them out of the sport. Look, they
called Muhammad Ali The Greatest
because he fought everybody and nev-
er ducked anybody. Fair enough—but 1
don't want that reputation. Let him be
the greatest and have that reputation. I
became a contender by following one
rule: I don't fight guys unless I'm cer-
tain I can whip them. Now you know
why I'm fighting Holyfield.

PLAYBOY: We're Pr: you're so confident
about beating him, but let's not over-
look the fact that Holyfield, who's un-
defeated, knocked out Buster Douglas
with one punch. Do you doubt that he
has the power to do the same to you?
Foreman: Look, any time you get two-
hundred-pounders, you've got power.
Believe me, you can slap a man too
hard and put him in the hospital.
Holyfield's a great fighter and a great
champion who's earned his title. And,
yes, he has the power to knock any-
body out, nobody excluded. He can
knock me out if 1 do something fool-
ish—like running into his right hand,
which is what Douglas did. Buster said,
"Where's your right hand? May I have
it, please?" And he got it.

pLavsoy: According to Holyfield, he
studied films of Douglas and planned
on countering a Douglas right upper-
cut with a straight right-hand jab. Have
you been studying films of Holyfield?
FOREMAN: I don't get involved in watch-
ing films, and I don't have to. All these
guys fight pretty much the same: They
shoot an arrow and if their opponent
nts circles around it, they shout,
“Bull's-eye!” They don't plan anything;
it just happens. Holyfield hit Buster
Douglas, and all of a sudden, they stud-
ied films? They're a bunch of liars. No
way did it happen like that. One of my
sisters told me that her girlfriend bet
on the fight. My sister said, "I would
never bet on luck fighters." That's what.
Holyfeld and Douglas are—luck
fighters. They throw punches and they
might connect—they don't know. If it
happens, they get a knockout.

PLAYBOY: You sound as if you don't care
for Holyfield. Is that the case?
FOREMAN: Oh, no, I like him. 1 never
hear Holyfeld give me any trouble;
he's a good guy. You know, my sons are
named George, Jr, George Ш, George
IV and George V. I've about run out of
Georges, so if we ever have another
boy, we may name him Evander.

rLarsoy: Have you made any special
plans for bauling Holyfield?
FOREMAN: No, 1 (continued on page 162)

119

PLAYBOY'S AUTOMOTIVE REPORT

hot tips and predictions on the saturn, the state of luxury,
industry mergers and wheels to watch

article By KEN GROSS

IF YOU'RE AN INFORMED and gutsy shopper, now is a great time
to buy a new car. Spring inventories have arrived, and de-
spite an impressive selection of new models, a certain anx-
iety has stalled sales. As we went to press, the fuel crisis
continued to escalate and consumer confidence was

If its Hondolike features and Japanese-style factory prove successful, the
Saturn could spark a turnaround for G.M. and the American auto industry.

strained by fears of a recession. A punitive new tax on lux-
ury cars priced over $30,000 also took effect in 1991. Con-
sequently, it's a buyers’ market. As dealers sit nervously
atop huge, slow-moving inventories, bargains are yours for
the making.

SATURN: LEADING A DETROIT RENAISSANCE.

For General Motors, the Saturn was a big, bold step.
The company built an entirely new plant in Tennessee and
included Japanese-inspired production techniques. It also
worked out a precedentseuing agreement with the tough
United Auto Workers union, under which auto workers

agreed to accept lower salaries, along with an incentive
plan that provides bonuses if several quality and produc-
tion criteria are met.

Priced at about $10,000, the new Saturn is aimed point-
blank at existing-model Hondas. Powered by an all-new
1.9-liter, twin-cam, 124-hp four-cylinder engine,
it comes in both a sports sedan and a touring
sedan—equipped with rack-and-pinion steering
and optional four-wheel disc brakes and ABS
(antilock brake system).

Luckily, despite its six-year gestation, Saturn
has stumbled into a propitious moment in histo-
ry. Rapidly rising fuel prices and a growing de-
mand among American buyers for home-grown
products may mean that Saturn will hit the
mark. G.M. has recruited top-notch dealers in
excellent sales locations who are as motivated as
Saturn's newly minted Tennessee work force.

So far, it has been slow going for the Saturn,
because G.M. is not releasing any cars that are
less than perfect. Saturn has only one chance to make a
good first impression. Once production is up to speed, the
new cars had still better be perfect. If they are, they could
spark G.M.'s comeback despite internal competition from
GEO. But if they are riddled with defects, G.M. (and the
entire U.S. auto industry) will have blown a major oppor-
tunity.

RETURN OF THE NATIVE.

America's love affair with big cars has waxed and waned
along with fluctuating gas prices. When the Middle East
crisis erupted last August, it seemed the worst possible

ILLUSTRATION BY OAVE CALVER

121

PLAYBOY

122

time for American car makers to claim,
“Bigger is better.” They did, anyway.

Was this bad marketing or simply
bad timing? We think it was a little of
both. Remember, it takes three to five
years (sometimes longer) from the time
a new model is conceived to the mo-
ment it rolls off an assembly line. De-
troit couldn't have anticipated Saddam
Hussein's power grab, but savvy plan-
ners should have figured on unstable
cil supplies and recognized the world
trend toward energy conservation.

Either way, it was a tough call. Amer-
icans still pay less for fuel than drivers
in any other country. When Detroit
auto makers anticipated a fuel squeeze
several years ago, they down-sized
their cars—and sales shrunk propor-
tionately. As fuel prices stabilized, re-
search indicated that "Yank tanks"
could make a comeback. Sure enough.
in 1988, when Cadillac stretched its
pinched cars back to proportions
befitting Caddies of yore, sales picked
right up.

Following Cadillac's lead, Chevrolet
rolled out a broad-beamed Caprice
make-over two years later. One driver
joked, "It's the new Hudson.” Another
called it a “lemon sitting on four
dimes.” Buick then unveiled its mas-
sive Park Avenue Ultra and Oldsmo-
bile recently joined the fray with a
return of the old 98 name plate. Buick
also has a puffed-up Roadmaster in
the works, and car-show appearances
of a colossal 1992 Cadillac Seville,
slated to arrive late this year have
excited auto enthusiasts. Ford recently
launched its newest biggie, the born-
again Crovn Victoria, a neatly acrody-
namic full-sized sedan that shares the
Lincoln Town Car's powerful 4.6-liter
V8.

Will Detroit's big-car gamble pay off?
The buxom Caprice got a cold shoul-
derat first, then sales picked up as buy-
ers got accustomed to its zaftig shape.
On a long highway trip, the Caprice is
a comfortable ride.

Our prediction: If gas prices stay be-
low $2.50 per gallon, Americans will
buy all the heavy cruisers. It's in our
blood.

LUXURY LINERS

"Toyota's new Lexus division ended
its 1990 model year selling three times
as many cars as rival Infiniti and four
times as many as Audi. Some months,
it even outsold BMW and Mercedes-
Benz. It's clear why Lexus triumphed:
‘The $38,000 LS 400 offered “the Ger-
man car Americans really wanted," a
smoother, quieter, friendlier and much
less expensive sedan modeled after the
top European makes—the same clever
marketing trick that helped Japanese
companies dominate the stereo, cam-

era and VCR industries.

The similarly priced Infiniti Q45 was
more sports car than luxury sedan. It
also remained nearly invisible for too
long, thanks to its infamous "rocks and
trees" ad campaign. But Infiniti recent-
ly announced a fresh solution to sup-
port beleaguered dealers—the pert
little G20 sports sedan, a crisp handler
packing a spunky twin-cam, 140-hp
four-cylinder engine and ABS. (Close
your eyes in a G20 and you'd think you
were in a Bavarian sports model.)

The G20 represents good value at
$18,000, though to be really competi-
tive, it should have an air bag. But the
littlest Infiniti’s biggest rival remains
parent company Nissan's own Maxima,
a somewhat larger and sleeker six-
cylinder sedan that costs about the
same as a G20.

Upping the ante, Lexus vill roll out
its SC 400 later this year. This smooth-
ly aerodynamic VB-engined sports
coupe has all the stance and power of a
BMW 850i at one half the Beemer flag-
ship's $75,000 price. With such a supe-
rior new entry to come, we expect
Lexus to continue to outsell Infiniti.

Another luxury contender, Acura's
Legend, has been restyled, re-engi-
neered and marginally upsized for
1991. Both the sedan and the coupe
are more powerful, with 200-hp,
liter V6 engines mounted length:
(instead of transversely like the old
models’) for improved weight distribu-
tion and handling (and perhaps for a
future all-wheel-drive conversion).

The new Legend coupe's styling is
more aggressive than the sedan's and
it has stiffer suspension, befitting a
sportier model. To ensure that its long
doors seal correctly, the coupe boasts
motorized door closers, similar to the
power-operated trunk lids on many
luxury sedans. Both models offer plen-
ty of luxury in packages starting at
about $27,000.

Saab recently turbocharged its su-
persmooth, balance-shaft-equipped,
16-valve, 2.3-liter four-cylinder engine.
We test-drove this 200-hp 9000 Turbo
on German autobahns. It’s a very
quick, fuel-efficient alternative for lux-
ury-car buyers who don't want to see
themselves coming and going. For
1991, Saab sells both the 9000 Turbo, a
$33,000 racy five-door hatchback, and
the more luxurious, softer-riding
9000CD Turbo four-door. Both cars of-
fer the longest warranty of any foreign
make: six years or 80,000 miles.

Volvo's steady sales volume slipped a
little in 1990 because of the impact of
the Japanese luxury name plates. But
the Swedes are set in 1991 to roll out
their own Lexus/Infiniti fighter, the
960, an even bigger sedan boasting a
201-hp, three-liter, twin-cam V6 en-

gine. Until then, the $33,000 940 offers
everything its future sibling will except
the six-cylinder engine.

Unfortunately, Volvo's award-win-
ning advertising campaign promoting
safety was seriously undermined by a
deceptive TV commercial in which the
roof of a seemingly indestructible Vol-
vo sedan was reinforced in order to
withstand repeated crushing runs by a
monster truck. Said a rival German car
maker, “We're sorry for Volvo, but this
incident hurts every car maker's repu-
tation. It may be a while before the
public believes any demonstration in
an automobile advertisement.”

Fach of these car makers is anticipat-
ing lower volume in 1991, thanks to
the new luxury-tax ruling (buyers pay
a ten percent premium on the amount
any cars price exceeds $30,000).
Japanese entries, especially the Leg-
end, hold the high cards because of
lower luxury taxes and, in most cases,
no gas-guzzler tax penalties.

VANS ИЗ. WAGONS

For years, the big station wagon was
America's family hauler of choice. Due
to an anticipated oil crisis in 1983,
Chrysler's fuel-efficient, smaller but
still” spacious minivans became an
overnight sensation. Competitors
rushed to copy them. Early imitations
from Ford (Aerostar), Toyota (Van) and
Nissan (Axxess) were small, trucklike
and lacked the family amenities and
passenger-car feel that Chrysler had
built in from the beginning.

As a result, the minivan became
Chrysler's volume and profit leader. At
last count, it had sold more than
2,500,000 units. Recent styling changes
have improved the vehicle's looks and
appointments even more. And ABS
and optional all-wheel drive are wel-
come additions.

A second-generation effort from To-
yota, the revolutionary Previa (with its
pancake-shaped engine to maximize
space), and Mazda's sleek MPV аге
contenders. But Chrysler's minivans
are still demonstrably better in pow-
er, drivability, spaciousness and ease of
access than their competition—particu-
larly the three G.M. spaceship clones
from Chevrolet (Lumina APV), Pontiac
(Trans Sport) and Oldsmobile (Silhou-
ette).

Chrysler will likely retain its mini-
van-sales crown, but it will be under in-
creasing pressure. Ford and Nissan
have teamed up on a minivan project;
Mitsubishi is planning an entry.

As family needs change, station wag-
ons are staging a comeback. Honda re-
cently introduced an Accord wagon,
capitalizing on that model's popularity
as America's largest-selling single name

(continued on page 165)

123

“But that was the chef ’s special, madam.”

— PLAY E 0n

®Б КИК

things you can live without, but who wants to?

There's still time to test the latest cross-country ski gear. Left to right: SNS901 boots, by Salomon,
$65; Lynx skis, by Karhu, $124; 47 LTS skis, by Rossignol, $150; Titan Sport Tour skis, by Karhu,
$119; CS100 boots, by Trok, $78; Stellar skis, by Peltonen, $145; all from MC Mages, Chicago.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY JAMES IMBROGNO

It weighs less than two
pounds, but Panasonic's
PV-40 Palmcorder is heavy
on high-tech features, in-
cluding Electronic Image
Stabilization, auto focus
and zoom, about $1300.

Schuco created these met-
al classic-cor replicas. Sil-
ver 1936 Mercedes, $55,
blue 1936 BMW 328
Examico, $115, and red
Ferrari, $65, from Kinder-
Zimmer, San Francisco.

Proton’s programmable
UVA-2000 Universal Re-
mote Control runs in-
frared-controllable oudio
and video equipment,
plus lighting and security
systems, about $140.

Radical! is the name of
Aiwo's Super Bass AM/
FM/cassette personal ster-
eo that has a cose hous-
ing o sensor that changes
color when exposed to
ultraviolet rays, $110.

Perfect for gracious en-
tertaining, this mahoga-
ny port-and-stilton tray
comes with a staghom-
handled cheese knife and
a crystal decanter, from
Asprey, New York, $850.

Heading to the North
or South Pole? Strap
on Yemo's Bipole Watch
timepiece/navigational
tool made of titanium and
carbon for arctic tempera-
tures, about $1500. Hotl

Where & How to Buy on page 16B.

NEC's TurboExpress color
game system, $250, is com-
patible with TurboGrafx-
16 software and doubles
os a TV, complete with VCR
jack, when plugged into
the optional tuner, $100.
'

PLAYBOY PROFILE

By BRUCE JAY FRIEDMAN

LET'S HEAR IT FOR
A GUY WHO DOES

WHAT HE DOES

15 STEVE Martin a nation-
al treasure? Let's take a
look at the record. For
one thing, he is certain-
ly our cleanest actor.
Its no accident that
the Defense Depart-
ment picked him to be
the first celebrity to visit
our troops in Saudi
Arabia, as an example,
among other things, of
cleanliness in the Amer-
ican acting profession. Once there, he was not allowed
to actually entertain anyone—for fear of offending our
Saudi hosts—and was restricted to a little tense walk-
ing around in the sand. But that wasn't Martin's fault.
He was asked to go and he went, a quality you look for
in your national treasures.

Not only is Martin our cleanest actor, he is also one
of our friendliest and most cooperative. The Defense
Department asked him not to discuss Barbra
Streisand movies in the desert—for fear of really of-
fending our Saudi hosts—and from all reports, he did
not discuss any, even though it's common knowledge
that one of his favorite things to do is to analyze Yni.
Apart from some spirited give-and-take with a nomad
in which he made a single veiled reference to Nuts,
Martin went along with the Defense Department's
wishes. It wasn't until he got back to the safety of Bev-
erly Hills that he let it all out of his system, pigging out

WITHOUT FLINGING

HIS GOOD LOOKS

IN YOUR FACE

STEVE MARTIN,

NATIONAL

TREASURE

on repeated showings of Up the Sandbox and sounding
out the Israelis on the possibility of planing Jackie Ma-
son into Riyadh for a forced concert. Can you blame
him? Wouldn't all of us have done the same if we'd
had the clout?

Steve Martin is also one of our handsomest actors,
bearing an eerie resemblance to Evander Holyfield,
something that neither luminary has chosen to ex-
ploit. Martin doesn't fling his good looks in your face,
like that Harmon guy a few years ago. He's sneaky
about it. He dares you to find him handsome. You say,
All right, ГЇЇ give it a shot. You start with the great
chin, work your way up, and then, all of a sudden, you
say, Wait a minute, this fucker is really handsome. On
top of everything else. And thanks for daring me to
discover this. If he could just sit still and not feel a
need to do something goofy every two minutes, he
could go the full handsome route. Maybe even pick
up some change as a male model if he wanted to take
a break from his film commitments.

Which brings us to the question of Martin's acting.
Reams have been written on the subject and the last
thing we need is another ream. So can we just say this
much—and leave it at that? The man is an actor. He
can act, he has acted and he'll act again. He's probably
off somewhere acting as we speak. What exactly do
people think he's doing up there, crossword puzzles?
That quick thing that he does in Planes, Trains, etc.
where he sees that John Candy is more than a slob
and is a human being with hopes and fears, etc. What
was that, spit? That was acting. The only reason the

ILLUSTRATION EY OAVIO LEVINE

PLAYBOY

130

question ever comes up is that he
doesn't say, “Look at me, guys, I'm act-
ing. Want to see a little thespian stuff?
Check this out."

In other words, Martin doesr't act
act, and thereis no reason to drag John
Malkovich into this discussion. Martin
does what he does, and Malkovich does
that thing that he does. Isn't there
plenty of room for Malkovich and Mar-
tin in an industry that's supposed to be
expanding globally? It's not as if they
were competing for the same roles
People aren't saying, We can't get Mar-
tin, we'll get Malkovich, he'll work for
40 cents. Nor is it written that they ev-
er have to be seen on the screen to-
gether. It isn't as if there were some
movement afoot at Carolco to team
them up in some weird kind of Louis
Quinze buddy movie. Although Martin
would probably think it was just goofy
enough to work. It's hard to predict
what Malkovich would think.

Does Martin wink at his material
while he’s acting? Reams have been
written about this, too, though not as
many reams, It’s an absurd theory, but
before we put it to rest, let's just say, for
arguments sake, that he did a liule
winking and acting at the same time—
at some early point, when he was trying
to get his career under way. In Vancou-
ver. Someplace like that. Edmonton. So
let's just say that. What is it supposed to
be, easy all of a sudden? Try it some-
time, winking and acting at the same
time. Who else in the industry can do
it, Kiefer Sutherland? One person can,
that’s for sure. That same little legend
in the making who turned in a little
classic performance doing two things at
once in a little award winner and top
grosser called All of Me. So can we just
close the case on the winking thing?

Martin takes chances, just the way we
do as a nation, in the Persian Gulf, for
example. What if he had been wrong
about Roxanne, and there were no mar-
ket for a picture like that? What if they
weren't willing to sit and watch a guy
with that kind of nose for two hours, no
matter how much they longed for es-
capist fare? What if it was a mistake?
Where would Martin be? Forget Mar-
tin, where would Columbia be, with the
millions committed in prints and ad-
vertising and he's running around with
a nose that nobody wants to look at? A
nose they could stand for maybe ten
minutes tops and they're out of there?

But Martin said, Fuck it. 1 want to
wear the nose. It's something I've al-
ways wanted to do. Jose Ferrer did it,
Depardieu's got a nose script, I'm go-
ing with the nose. If they come, they
come. If not, I'll find something else to
do. The exact attitude we took in the
Persian Gulf.

‘And did they ever come. And was he

ever right. They came, they watched
the nose, they didn't freak, they had
their hearts broken, they saw some
sexy stuff, Columbia got its money out
and the rest? The rest, for all we know,
could be Roxanne Two: The Married
Years. Martin was right, just as we may
turn out to be right in the Gulf. We'll
find out soon enough. But that's not
the point. The point is that Martin tried
something, just as we did as a nation.
He didn't sit around and let events take
their natural course, like Eisenhower.

Steve Martin dresses beautifully and
is never involved in public spats. No
matter how much the Enguirer pays the
waiters at Spago, it hasn't been able to
come up with anything on the man.
There's nothing to come up with. Even
if Martin wanted them to come up with
something, he'd be out of luck. He
couldn't fight his way into the Enquirer.
The most a waiter will say about him is
that he came in, heate a nice dinner, he
didn't berate anyone—and he left. 1
don't care how much you pay me,
that's all I've got. What do you want me
to say, that he knocked over a salt shak-
er? Fine, you got i

"STEVE MARTIN KNOCKS OVER
SALT SHAKER AT SPAGO,"
“Friends Hint It's Not the
First Time."

Martin doesn't age. If you look at
him in 7he Jerk and you look at him
now, you'll see that the most he has
aged is a couple of weeks. In that way,
too, he's a lot like our nation, which
doesn't age, either, at least in its princi-
ples, holding firm to its democratic ide-
als while every kind of strange type
from God knows where comes swartn-
ing into our cities, fanning out into our
once-quiet suburbs. . . . Is there really a
need to go on? In spite of everything,
we've stood firm and remained a
young pup of a nation, ready and ea-
ger to be peaceful, go to war, whatever.
Is that the Steve Martin story in a nut-
shell or what?

In many ways, Martin physically re-
sembles America, with that empty,
trusting thing that he does. And there
are Steve Marün look-alikes every-
where, particularly on buses. There's
practically a special seat reserved for
the Martin type on every bus, a big
trusting guy with an open collar and a
scrubbed neck who can hardly wait to
get to town and get fleeced. Lot of sales
representatives look like Steve Martin,
particularly ones who've lost their jobs
but are^gamely sending out résumés
and would prefer not to go into service
industries. And for every individual
who looks like Martin, there's another
who thinks he looks like Martin. Big,
hairy agents, for example, white guys
with big black Afros think they look
like him. You'll approach one at a par-

ty and he'll wave you off. saying, "I
know, I know . . . I look like Steve Mar-
tin. . . ." On the other hand, very few
Orientals look like Martin, though
there are many Chinese waiters who
resemble the late Ed Sullivan.

Finally, there's the strong sense of
humanity. All the great ones have it, in
literature, in painting, even in carpen-
uy. Martin’s got it, not only on screen
but in his workaday life. I saw it per-
sonally, at a restaurant, where he dis-
played humanity to the people at the
next table, the waiters, the salad chef,
everybody. He even brought out the
humanity in his dinner partner,
Charles Grodin, which has always been
there but, as the people close to Grodin
will testify, tends to be a little on the
dormant side.

‘Once again, the entire point of this
analysis would be lost if it were taken as
a backhanded slap at John Malkovich.
Or even at Judd Hirsch, for that mat-
ter, and all that he stands for. If we
wanted to go after Malkovich or
Hirsch, we would do it directly. We're
not afraid of Malkovich and we're cer-
tainly not afraid of Hirsch. Both of
them have pockets of support and a
case can certainly be made for either of
them, if not quite as a national trea-
sure, then at least as a local or, perhaps,
industry treasure. But we're not talk-
ing about Hirsch and Malkovich. We're
talking about The Goofy One. Because
isn’t it Martin who has the style we
want to project in the difficult Nineties?
The side of us we'd like to present to
our friends and allies around the
world, with the possible exception of
Israel? That of a clean-cut nation that
doesn't throw its looks in your face,
takes chances and bears an eerie re-
semblance to Evander Holyfield?

There are those who'll say, Hey,
guys, what's the rush? The man has
barely gotten out of the gate. If you're
talking Gene Hackman, Jason Ro-
bards, you step on the gas a little. But
Martin? He hasn't done Lear, he hasn't
done Beethoven. He did a little Beck-
ett, a little indirect Rostand, but, again,
why the rush to acting sainthood? Well,
the answer to that is that, first of all, do
we really need to see him do Lear?
Don't we know what kind of wacky
Lear he'll come up with? With John
Candy as Goneril? Aren't we howling
already? And besides, maybe there is a
rush. What if—in the interest of adding
authenticity to a shaky comedy mo-
ment—Martin got carried away and
just hurled himself into an active chim-
ney? Where would he be then? Never
mind Martin, where would we be?
Here's where we'd be: in the position
of never having told the man he was a
national treasure. So let's СЕ it on right

(concluded on page 150)

“I don't mind tellin’ ya, Edna, when they sing ‘When you walk through
a storm, keep your head up high," I get goose bumps!"

131

132

WOMEN UT I! WOMEN'S

after a brief identity crisis, the schools of the tender
gender are alive and kicking in the u.s.

THE TEMPEST STRUCK last spring on a quiet, wooded campus in Oakland, California. Mills College—a prestigious 139-year-old
liberal-arts school best known for its exclusively skirted student body—decided to permit men to enroll. The announcement
was one in a long line of defections by all-female institutions. According to The Boston Globe, the national roster of women’s
schools had taken a beating over the past several decades, its number atrophying from 298 in 1960 to 93 in 1990. Ensuing
protests—and there were plenty, from thoughtful editorials to strident demonstrations—made the intended waves: Mills's
head honchos reversed their decision. Since then, women's colleges have been blazing a comeback, most notably last May,
when two students from Regis College in Weston, Massachusetts, chartered the Students Alliance for Women's Colleges, an
organization bent on restoring pride and popularity to single-sex education.

Naturally, we were interested. "Throughout our fourteen-year history of featuring pictorials on college women,” says
Playboys Managing Photo Editor Jeff Cohen, “we've leaned toward schools from athletic conferences dominated by male
sports. It was only fair, then, that we take our search to the women's colleges." Last October. Cohen dispatched Contribut-
ing Photographers David Chan and Arny Freytag and, as always, controversy brewed as the camera clicked—students pick-
eted, USA Today tracked the story, Donahue hosted a TV debate. But Chan and Freytag returned triumphant, their portfolio
spotlighting 14 schools in five states—four each in Georgia, Massachusetts and Pennsylvania; one each in New Jersey and
Missouri. “Truth be told," says Cohen, “the women weren't so different from those featured in our other college pictorials.
Yes, they were all intelligent and conscientious about sisterhood and women's issues. But they were also very friendly and
very sexy."

So enjoy. And while you're at it, you can pick your favorite woman of the women's schools—help her win $5000 to fur-
ther her education and possibly win yourself a trip to Playboy Mansion West—by calling 900-740-3636 (in the United States
only), listening to the women and casting your vote. See page 143 for further details.

Opposite: Strutting their stuff on the lowns of Brenou Womer's College in Gainesville, Georgio, ond ready for business ore (from lefi)
Liso Pellegrini, llicio Lori Goodmon ond Roquel Fisher. Lisa's originally from Redondo Beach, Colifornio, ond hopes one day to monoge
о civic center; llicio—also born in Colifornio—is one of seven children, likes riding horses and loves o mon in uniform; ond Roque!
is a Georgia поче who's working toward a career in educotion. Her preferences in companions: “nonconformists who like to hove
a good time." Lest you believe all is work on the Brenau campus, the trio occosionolly swaps shop talk for pillow talk (top)

PHOTOGRAPHY BY DAVID CHAN AND ARNY FREYTAG

Moving clockwise around the facing
page, from top left: Jody Fraser ottend-
ed Williom Woods College in Fulton,
Missouri, where she received o degree
in equestrian science ond sociology. The
daughter of a fireman ond an RN,
Jody's set on somedoy owning her own
form. From Wheoton College in Nor-
ton, Massachusetts, is Shauna McCorty,
оп actress and model who once
grobbed runner-up honors in the Miss
America prelims. These days, she's a
regular finalist on Wheaton's dean's
list. Debra Lofaye left Springfield, Ver-
mont, to attend Moore College of Art

Philadelphia, where she’s studying to
be a fashion illustrator. Her passion:
short visits to the country; her peeve:
long visits to the country. Formerly from
Spelman College in Atlanta is Alicia
Rosado, now attending "U Mass.” De-
termined to “give something bock to the
community,” Alicio—who hos served in
the Army reserve—is trying out far the
police force in her notive Boston. Below,
meet Jennifer Chandler, o recent grod
of Pine Monor College in Chestnut Hill,
Massachusetts. Born in New York City,
Jennifer is eying a career in—and on

television. Suzanne Redmon (right) hails
fram Asheville, North Carolina, where
she developed o love for “animals ond
good restouronts." Now she's attending
Agnes Scott College in Decatur, Geor-
gia, where she spends much of her
down time at Tom Hanks movies. Don't
be surprised if you find Suzonne spell-
binding: She dabbles in hypnotherapy.

al SMITE

Brose:
„соге

alb»: CEDAR crest caine

Opposite: “The supernatural intrigues me,” says Laura Galdbaum (top left], a philosophy major currently doing the premed grind at
Smith College in Narthamptan, Massachusetts. "I'm studying metaphysical mental powers and life as a creative work af art,” she says.
Na argument from vs. This May, Jeanne Fendler (tap right) will get her nursing degree fram Cedar Crest College in her hame town af
Allentawn, Pennsylvania. A bird watcher and callectar cf Teddy bears, Jeanne is a pushaver far someone wha gives gaod back-scratch.
Formerly from Rosemont College in Pennsylvania is Jean Gassan (Банат), a marketing consultant, gymnast and diehard Madonna fan.
"She's a true woman,” says Jean af the rack superstar, "wha's nat afraid af her feelings and acts on them.” Jean's lang-range gaal: "to
have my awn longevity center.” Abave, taking a break from classes at Brenau is Andria Lee Waugh, a cat laver and native of Greenville,

5. A lady wha likes her men "smart and mature,” Andria is aiming for а career as сп elementary school principal.

137

Although Karey Axell (above left) wos
born in Philly, she's now a genuine Jer-
sey girl, attending Centenary College in
the Garden State hamlet of Hack-
ettstown. A draftsman who shoots a
meon game of pool, Korey confesses
she's "shy, easily embarrassed and easy
do wolk an.” Below Korey is Kathleen
O'Neil Voss, a sophomore at Agnes
Scott. A writer wha likes hot Latin danc-
ing, Kathleen boasts thot her 17-year-
old brother is her best friend and thot
“all my girlfriends fall in lave with him."
Aurora Stuski (below) graduated fram
Beaver College in Glenside, Pennsylva-
nia, in 1988. (Beaver went caed in
1973 but kept its provocative name.)
Consistent with her sporkle, Aurora
now proctices gemology. But suitors,
beware: “I don't like stondord pick-
up lines,” says Auroro, “especially,
‘Haven't we met before?" Domino
Sweete (opposite, top left), o native of
Geissen, West Germony, attends Sim-
mons College in Boston, where she
dreams of becoming a doctor. Her fa-
vorite indulgences take ploce autdaars.
Kicking it up for Pine Manor is future.
entrepreneur Deidre Mitchell (opposite,
tap right). The daughter of on ex-pro-
football player, Deidre laves ald-fosh-
ned men, "but | hate snooty Harvard
ys.” Anne Mullahy (apposite, bottom)
les her time between psych studies

ot Simmons and classes o! Boston's
Northeastern U. “Meanwhile, | want ta
experience all | can,” she says, “ond
to make peaple happy.” Caunt us in.

Nineteen-yeor-ald Того Mock (above left) is about as Southern os you con get: She was born in Memphis, calls New Orleans home ond
attends Wesleyan Callege in Macon, Georgio, where her chief complaint is typically collegiate: "I don't get enough sleep." Being given
a lift by an eager trio of fons (top right) is Simmons’ Tari Leslie, о future pediatric nurse with o yen far "romontic, ambitious, spantoneous,
intelligent, warldly men." But dant try to sell yaurself to Tori in those terms: She avoids guys with "big egos.” Below Tori is Maore Col-
lege's Susan Sullivan, an aerobics enthusiast who's banking on o career as on advertising designer. Besides being a lover of art, Suson
promates free choice, environmental awareness and peace. Finally, soy hi and bye ta Deborah Reel (opposite), who will graduate this
May fram Agnes Scoti—ond nat o minute taa saan. "I love ta travel and hape for о career that will allow me to de just that,” says
the Chicago native, “I especially like exploring places I've never been before." Bon voyage, Deb. Need a traveling campanion?

PLAYBOY

CALL OF THE WILD (continued from page 100)

“The Cro-Magnon man lives deep inside us; if this
rudimentary pari of us dies, male identity dies."

culture. Third, we understand the story
of a man's going on a hazardous search
for his father's spirit. We have all been
there. Our fathers baffle us, intrigue us,
haunt us. We never get away from them,
and yet we are often fearful of con-
fronting them, even after they have left
us. The quest of Aeneas is our quest.

"This search for our fathers is at the
heart of male identity, and you will find
no more emotional or difficult subject on
the male agenda. We know we will travel
where Aeneas has traveled. He is our
brother, our contemporary, and he re-
minds us of how direct our link is to our
forefathers.

No discussion of men and the next
revolution can take place without con-
sideration of Robert Bly, a major re-
source for men today. A highly respected
poet, writer and lecturer, Bly is the fore-
most popularizer of the mythic ap-
proach to the male journey. In a recent
issue of New Age magazine, he is saying
much the same thing that he said there
nine years ago in a pioneering interview
with Keith Thompson. The subject cen-
ters on contemporary men and their
struggles toward masculinity.

In that 1982 interview, Bly begins by
citing the men of the past three decades
who mark some kind of break in histori-
cal traditions of masaulinity: “The waste
and anguish of the Vietnam war made
men [of the Sixties and Seventies] ques-
tion what an adult male really is. . . . As
men began to look at women and at their
concerns, some men began to see their
own feminine side and pay attention to
it. That process continues to this day,
and I would say that most young males
are now involved in it to some extent.”

Bly then sounds a note of caution.
“The step of the male bringing forth his
feminine consciousness is an important
one—and yet I have the sense that there
is something wrong. The male in the
past twenty years has become more
thoughtful, more gentle. But by this
process, he has not become more free.
He's a nice boy who now pleases not on-
ly his mother but also the young woman
he is living with.

“I see the phenomenon,” Bly contin-
ues, “of what I would call the ‘soft male”
all over the country today. . . . But some-
thing's wrong. Many of these men are
unhappy. There's not much energy in
them. They are life-preserving but not
exactly life-giving.”

For me, Bly presents a precise summa-
tion of what has happened to many men
over the past three decades—when the

142 feminist revolution has taken over the

culture and told us how terrible we were
as men and how much we needed to
change. To be macho in any manner has
been unfashionable. And yet, every man
has an element of the macho in his genet-
ic structure. To deny it and suppress it
can be deadly to men (and to the cul-
ture). Such denial can leave us de-
pressed, without energy or passion or
identity.

As men, we have special gifts. One of
those is the ability to be in touch with the
Cro-Magnon man who lives somewhere
deep inside our hearts and minds and
calls to us. It is vital to remember that
this man is nota savage. In no way is he
an uncontrolled killer or evil oppressor.
He is primordial but not barbaric, abo-
riginal but not vicious. He represents
what is best in the spirit of manhood. In-
domitable and invincible and wild, ready
to protect and defend and compete, his
instinct and perceptions necessary to en-
sure the survival of the human race, this
primitive man at the center of our psy-
ches must be allowed room to live and
breathe and express himself. If this rudi-
mentary part of us dies, male identity
dies.

Bly, borrowing a term from Iron John,
a tale written by the Grimm brothers in
1820, calls this primitive man “the wild-
man." It is not a bad name for him.

In Iron John, a young man on a
difficult journey sees a large, hairy crea-
ture—the wildman—at the bottom of a
pond that the young man is emptying,
bucket by bucket. This discovery is
frightening and intriguing. "What I'm
proposing," says Bly, "is that every mod-
ern male has, lying at the bottom of his
psyche, a large, primitive man covered
with hair down to his feet. Making con-
tact with this wildman . . . is the process
that still hasn't taken place in contempo-
rary culture. ... Freud, Jung and Wil-
helm Reich are three men who had the
courage to go down into the pond and
accept what's there. . .. The job of mod-
ern males is to follow them down."

Accepting what is dark down there—
what he calls "the shadow"—is another
task that Bly assigns to any man who
would discover his true male self and be-
come an initiated male. Under Bly's
urging, men are beginning to explore
this shadow side of their personalities.
Anger. aggression, grief, feelings of
abandonment and rejection, rage, con-
fusion—all the varied dark and shadowy
forces that whirl around like demons in
the male psyche—these are things that
we have tried to deny or ignore in order
to be acceptable and admired.

But we have tried much too hard to be
nice and we have essentially handed
over the job of self-definition to others
This turns out to have been self-destruc-
tive. We emasculate and feminize our-
selves to gain female approval—and
then we hope against all available evi-
dence that our powerful masculine ener-
gies will leave us alone. But is that likely?

Face it: For most men, the hope that
our energy will fade away is vain. Wit-
ness the fact that our sexuality emerges
at a very early age—usually much earlier
than the emergence of female sexu.
ty—and carries with it a beautiful imme-
diacy, from spontaneous erections to wet
dreams to vivid fantasies. This immedia-
cy of male sexuality lasts well into our
adulthood, even into old age for many
men. Are we really going to be able to
suppress all of that energy? And why
should we repudiate such a unique and
wonderful drive?

To use a Bly analogy, “The Widow
Douglas wanted Huck Finn to be nice.
And after he has floated down the river
with a black man, Aunt Sally wants to
adopt him and ‘civilize’ him. Huck says,
`1 can't stand it. I been there before.”

Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

The wildman lives in every man. He is
beautiful and divine. He has enormous,
fundamental energy and a great love for
the world. He is just as much a nurturer
and protector and creator as any female
figure, but he will do that nurturing and
protecting in his own masculine way. It
1s time for the wildman in us to be cele-
brated without shame. That celebration
is part of what our revolution is about. It
is our job as men to know ourselves bet-
ter so that we can contribute more to this
world and be more honest with our-
selves. We have a right to our revolution,
in other words. An absolute right.

Cut to a damp and cold weekend in
November 1988 at a lodge somewhere
in Wisconsin. I am attending The New
Warrior Training Adventure, one of the
only programs in the country that em-
phasize male initiation as a necessary rite
of passage. It is late at night, I have been
here for a day and a half already and I
am surrounded by a group of men who
are asking me with focused energy to
look deeply into my life. Who am I?
"What is my mission in life as a man?
What is it that holds me back from com-
pleting my mission? What is my shadow,
and how does it haunt me?

Understand that a number of things
have occurred at this seminar before this
moment, things that have pushed me
and scared me and enlightened me and
softened me up for the interrogation at
hand. There have been some games.
some questioning, there has been a ren-
dition of Iron John, a discussion of the
shadow and what it means to men. I feel
on the edge of a breakthrough. I am not
sure that I like that feeling. I see myself

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10 AXELL, KAREY (Centenary), p. 138 16 GOLDBAUM, LAURA (Smith, p. 136 22 MDCK, TARA (Wesleyan), p. 140. 28 STUSKI, AURORA (Beaver), р. 138
11 CHANDLER, JENNIFER (Pine Manon, p.135 17 GOODMAN, ILICIA LORI(Brenat) p.133 23 MULLAHY, ANNE (Simmons), p. 139 29 SULLIVAN, SUSAN (Moore), p. 140
12 FENDLER, JEANNE (Cadar Crest p. 136 18 LAFAYE, DEBRA (Moore), p. 134 24 PELLEGRINI, LISA (Brenau), p. 133 30 SWEETE, DOMINO (Simmons), p. 139
13 FISHER, RAQUEL (Brenau), р 133 19 LESLIE. TORI (Simmons), p. 140 25 REDMON, SUZANNE (Agnes Scot), р 135 31 VOSS. KATHLEEN O'NEIL (Agnes Scot),
14 FRASER, JDDY (William Woods), p. 134 20 MCCARTY, SHAUNA (Whealon) р 134 26 REEL, DEBORAH (Agnes Scoti) p. 141 p.138
15 GASSON, JEAN (Rosemont), p. 136 21 MITCHELL, DEIDRE (Pine Manor, p. 139 27 ROSADO, ALICIA (Spelman), р. 134 32 WAUGH, ANDRIA LEE (Brenau), p. 137

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PLAYBOY

as a man of containment and self-con-
trol, and yet here I am in emotional lim-
bo. I feel like an astronaut on the moon.

Itell the men around me about what I
perceive to be my shadow, my tendency
toward aggression, my crazy childhood
and difficult family life, how tough and
defensive 1 became after early years of
violence that seemed endemic in both
my home and my neighborhood on
Chicago's South Side, how combat-ready
I always am, how I think that my turbu-
lent mind-set interferes with my mission
in life.

Rich Tosi, a former Marine and one of
the founders of the New Warrior Train-
ing Adventure program, challenges me
on my description of my shadow as that
ious man. “Bullshit, Baber,”

"m not worried about you and
your violence. You've explored that.
That's not your shadow, because you've
faced it. You know the kind of guy who
scares me? The man who has never con-
fronted his violence, the passive-aggres-

sive bastard who might freak out and
lose control and get violent without any
warning at all.

“Take a look. When are you going to
admit to the grief you have for the men
you've lost in your life? What about your
father, for example, or your sons, when
you lost custody of them, or the guys
from your old neighborhood who never
got out of there alive, or the Marines you
knew who were killed? You've lost a lot
of men, haven't you, Lieutenant? Pick
one of the dead ones, any one, and talk
to him now. Go on, do it!”

I felt all my defenses crumble and I
faced my grief openly for the first time. 1
mourned, I raged, I pounded the floor,
I went down into the dark pond of my
psyche and dredged up the forces I had
been containing for too many years, I
bucketed out my rage and my grief un-
der the guidance of good men.

Tosi and Dr. Ron Hering, another
founder of The New Warrior Training
Adventure, led me down into the grave

“The purpose of this line of questioning,
Your Honor, is to establish the fact that my client
never had a chance in life, having been spoiled rotten
by a fatuously permissive upbringing.”

of the man I happened to grieve for the
most that evening, a Marine named
Mike with whom I served and who was
killed in a chopper crash in Laos in the
mid-Sixties. Mike had been like a
younger brother to me. His father had
been like a father to me after my own fa-
ther passed away in 1960. The secret war
in Laos would kill Mike first, and Mike’s
death would kill his father a few years
later. Losses? Mine were incalculable,
and they had occurred in a very short
time. Two fathers and many brothers
dead in the space ofa few years, and the
additional specter of a full-scale war that
had never been declared a war? 1 had
not been able to handle the heartache of
all that, so I had suppressed it, buried it.
The heartache, you sec, was my shadow.

Ron Hering and Rich Tosi and the
other men working with me gave me
room to grieve, let me explore my shad-
ow, did nor judge me or exploit me for
my sadness, understood the losses that
most men endure in self-imposed isola-
tion, the denials we elaborately construct
to hide from our grief.

Until then, I had always assumed that
my physical survival was living proof of
my cowardice and unmanliness. It was a
certain kind of twisted male syllogism
that is not uncommon: Men had died, |
had not; therefore, 1 was undeserving of
life; I should have died before them,
possibly thereby saving them. That is a
classic case of survivor's guilt, of course,
and 1 had it full-blown.

Hering and Tosi and my peers helped
me see that the men who had died want-
ed me to carry on the best traditions of
manhood for them. They—all my fa-
thers and brothers and sons from the be-
ginning of time—were handing me the
golden ball of masculinity with all its en-
ergy and beauty, and they were asking
me to preserve it, protect it and pass it
on to the next generation of men. That
was my mission in life

With that realization, the shadow of
guilt and grief that had dominated me
faded in the light of my self-examina-
tion. 1 faced my shadow, battled it,
tapped into my wildman energy and
overcame it. Like Aeneas, I visited
Hades and came away from the under-
world with a little more wisdom.

In a very real sense, I was now an ini-
tiated malc, а man ready to accept the
joys and obligations of maturity.

“We are living at an important and
fruitful moment now,” Bly writes in his
new book, Iron John, "for it is clear to
men that the images of adult manhood
given by the popular culture are worn
out; a man can no longer depend on
them. .. . [Men are] open to new visions
of what a man is or could be.”

New visions of masculinity: That is
what our revolution is all about.

Welcome aboard.

(continued from page 88)
Dan says. "Women my age have tried ev-
erything. You can't find an inch of skin
on their bodies that some guy hasn't
drooled over. But college girls have usu-
ally had only a few inept lovers." He gets
a far-off look, dreaming about all those
untouched ankles and unnibbled buttocks.

Coeds seem to appreciate the poach-
ers' interest; the admiration is decidedly
mutual. “Men over thirty are better
lovers, hands down," says Kate. "I had a
boyfriend once who was my age, and
mysteriously enough—what's a nice way
to say this?—he'd never, um, administered
oral sex before. It was just his thing. He
just didn't.

“If we're going to be technical—and
sometimes that makes all the differ-
ence—the men I've been with who are
older really know what they're doing.
It's not younger men's fault that it's this
way. Women's bodies are complicated.”

Kate described how one man, while
kissing her good night, made a sudden
deft movement underncath her skirt
and stole a furtive caress. "I have to say,
whatever he was doing, it felt thorough-
ly incredible. It’s just amazing to be with
somebody who knows what you need
better than you do. And that's happened
to me only with older men.”

Kate's naiveté reflects the poacher's
only sexual complaint: A coed's inexpe-
siene can lead to mishaps in the sack—
lethal teeth and fingernails, elbows in
the eyes, tumbles off the mattress.
Michael and Dan even admitted that
they missed the comfort and ease of sex
with women their age.

AHOWL FROM THE GALLERY

What happens to a poacher’s old life
once he descends into the frantic world
of coed romance? Well, it’s still there—
the only difference is, everyone in it is
laughing at him. When a 32-year-old
man starts sleeping with a 19-year-old
girl, his friends, family and co-workers
gang up on him like so many shrinks,
priests and stand-up comics. Their com-
ments range from disbelief (“You can't
be serious—she's nineteen?”) to jocularity
(“Is her mommy paying you to baby-
sit?”) to outright hosulity—especially
from women the poacher's age.

“I think they tend to be a little threat-
ened by the whole thing," Patrick says.
"They react especially harshly if you've
gone out with them in the past. Several
women have accused me of dating
young girls because I'm afraid to grow
up. They want me to accept something
predictable instead of what I really
want. . . . They want me to buy a Buick
when I'd rather have a Lamborghini."

Some poachers simply drop out of
sight, unable to bear the endless taunts
and ribbing. This can be disorienting,
since it means immersion in a world of

н Jack Dar hope. ‘esa ine. We promise to write back.

JACK DANIELS WHISKEY has been made in
Lynchburg, Tennessee for a long, long time.

Our founder, Jack Daniel, built this office in 1866.
It was 1912 when his nephew, Lem Motlow,
became proprietor And in 1946, Mr. Lem heired
control to his four sons. Today, all but
two of these Tennessee Whiskey makers |
have passed on. But their old office (and
their old time methods) are still in place.
And Jack Daniel's Whiskey is still
made right here. ..charcoal mellowed
and sippin' smooth... ín the little
town of Lynchburg, Tennessee.

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Placedin the National Register of Historic Places by he United States Government.

PLAYBOY

146

college kids. Since the poacher no longer
sees his friends, he's constantly sur-
rounded by hers. Not all of them will be
as poised and sophisticated as his girl-
friend—in fact, some will be certifiably
teenaged, unconscionably young. On a
date at a pizza parlor, he may be the
only one not wearing Oxy 5. Every teen-
ager in the place will stare at him, won-
dering, Is he somebody's unde? Is he
chaperoning a church youth group, or
what? His lover's friends will giggle,
stealing rolled-eyed looks at their
friend's "father of the month." Sleeping
with younger girls may once have made
him feel 19, but nights like these make a
poacher feel doser to 60.

DISILLUSIONMENT SETS IN

No matter how grown up a coed may
seem, sooner or later she's bound to slip.
up. New Kids on the Block will blast ac-
cidentally from her tape deck; Twinkies
will tumble from her Anne Klein bag.
But these are just tremors compared
with the true horror to come. Sooner or
later, every poacher of coeds 18 to 20
hears the Dreaded Five Words: "May I
see your 1.D.?"

In a dark Manhattan night club,
Michael looked up to see a man grilling
Julie. They were with a crowd of his
friends, celebrating the wrap of a video
shoot; he'd already been nervous about.
their reaction to her Now, as they
watched Julie fumble through her Bat-
man purse, he felt a growing wave of
panic. No, not panic—humiliation.

“It's here somewhere," she stalled,
finally producing a battered college I.D.
from Iowa or maybe Idaho—an 1.D. so
badly faked her picture drifted around
inside the plastic, like one of those mov-
ing pictures at the top of a ballpoint pen.

"The manager aimed a flashlight at the
1.D. for interminable seconds, while Mi-
chael tried to shrink inside his leather
jacket. God, to be carded in front of all his
friends. How could he ever live it down?
He soon got a chance to find out, when
the manager escorted Julie and him to
the door.

“I told my friends we'd meet them lat-
er," Michael says, "but I told Julie 1 was
beat and took her home. 1 knew she
couldnt help being nineteen, and I
knew it was stupid, but I was mad at her.
I mean, the last time I was carded on a
date with a girl, Jimmy Carter was Presi-
dent. That night, I wondered, Who
needs this? Give me a grown woman, a le-
gal woman!”

Dan had his own bottom-out moment
with a college girl. One night, he took a
20-ycar-old home from a date and
pulled a bottle of Moét from the fridge.
(He'd learned months before that coeds
weren't always big on liquor.) But this
one wasn't much on bubbly, either. She
told him that all she really liked was
Boone's Original Strawberry Hill wine.

"I'd just met her,” Dan says, "and

filling this girl with strawberry wine
seemed like a good idea. So we went to a
liquor store, but when we got to the
door, she stopped kind of nervously and
said, 'Should I wait out here?’ It was cold
and rainy, and she was going to wait out
on the sidewalk. 1 felt like an old drunk.
buying liquor for a teenager. And I was!"

When they aren't buying fake I.D.s or
slurping bright-red wine, many cocds
are displaying their generation's aston-
ishing ignorance of geography and his-
tory. They think Nicaragua is in Africa
someplace; they place Canada smack in
the middle of the Indian Ocean. Dan
likes to trip coeds up on the simplest his-
torical points.

“1 tell them that when I was born,
there were only forty-eight states. Their
eyes get all wide, like I used to live in
covered-wagon days. They don't know
that Alaska and Hawaii became states
just thirty-two years ago. Another time, I
asked a girl whose side we were onin the
Vietnam war. She said, "Well . . . Viet-
пат, right? Is this a trick question?"

Patrick is one poacher who has yet to
be disillusioned. As he sees it, coeds are
much brighter than women his age.
“They're being exposed to learning in a
structured way" he says. “Things are
still percolating around in their brains.
1£1 want to talk about Hegel and Proust
with a woman my age, she'll be straining
to remember some lecture from 1977,
whereas a college girl may have just read
them this morning."

POACHINGS GRAVEST DANGER

For ivory poachers on the plains of
Africa, it's government troops who blast
AK-47s randomly into the bush. For a
poacher of coeds, it's something even
more terrifying: her parents.

When a poacher clashes with a young
girl's parents, perhaps for the first time
since his senior prom in 1978, he'll dis-
cover a striking contrast in the way his
girl and her parents view her maturity.
His girlfriend sees herself as a woman,
wise and proud and 19, old enough to
vote and die on desert battlefields. Her
parents see her as a little girl just a year
out of high school who has "fallen in
with a bad element"—namely, her 30-
something boyfriend.

One night last summer, Patrick was in
bed with an 18-year-old he'd been see-
ing for months. They were still awake at
five an., half-drunk, still caressing and
talking, when a jangling phone made
them jump out of their skins.

“It was her mother,” Patrick recalls,
his face still aghast months later. “Sarah
had just started college and still lived
with her parents, but that night, she
hadn't wanted to go home. She was al-
ways having tussles with her parents
about curfews; they were trying to retain
their influence over her and she was try-
ing to deny it to them.”

Sarah wouldn't get on the phone, so

Patrick talked with her mother himself.

“It seemed like ages,” he groans. “It
might have been just two and a half min-
utes. She said something like, ‘Sarah's fa-
ther and I are concerned about her
because she spends so much time away
from home and she's supposed to come
home carly and we don't know what
she's doing. . . .' I tried to take the tone
of another person talking about Sarah
from a perspective similar to theirs, pre-
tending to be circumspect and responsi-
ble and not the kind of guy who would
have their daughter in his bed at five
am." He laughs nervously at the memory.
“I talked as if I had nothing to do with
Sarah's being there, but since I hap-
pened to be there and observed it, I
would report on it”

Sarah just sat in bed with the sheet
pulled up to her naked breasts, the gray
light of dawn on her face.

“And of course it looked lovely on
her,” Patrick says, sighing.

Did the ordeal make him wonder
whether young girls were really worth
the trouble?

“No! I wouldn't have missed it for the
world! How could 1 possibly have such a
scene with an older woman? 1 live for
things like that. It's a drama, an incident,
which is my life goal—to live a life of in-
“дег.”

‘THE COEDS GET RESTLESS

Men aren't the only ones who have
second thoughts about poaching—coeds
are just as likely to feel, well, creepy and
gross about dating someone a decade
older. Their illusions are just as fragile.
For a while, an older boyfriend makes
them feel worldly, sophisticated, grown
up. But inevitably, he makes a fatal slip.
He'll treat her like a kid, laugh at some-
thing she meant to be serious or say,
“Boy, when I was your age...”

“I've heard that so many times, I'm
like, ‘Fuck you!” Laurie says. “Some
older guys act like everything I'm going
through is a phase. They have this con-
descending attitude that they're wiser
and older and know everything. It gets
on my nerves.”

Pointing out their girlfriends’ youth is
a mistake many poachers make. Another
is expecting them to be impressed by a
fat wallet, a sleek car or a high-powered
business card.

"Some men think I'm supposed to be
impressed by their jobs or by how much
money they have, all kinds of dumb
things that don't impress me at all," Kate
says. She mentioned one rather wealthy
man she'd had a date with. "He seemed
to think I was supposed to just naturally
fall on my face for him because he was
rich and older. But he was unattractive,
not very bright and, frankly, balding
There were just so many assumptions
going on there."

Many poachers make the mistake of
acting interested in their girlfriends’

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PLAYBOY

148

youthlulness instead of in who they real-
ly are. Laurie and Kate bristle at the
thought of being merely fresh young
faces

“Tm suspicious of men who can't deal
with people their own age," Rate says.
Ifthey get too much ofa kick out ol this
youthlul stuff, it grosses me out. You
should like people for who they are. 1
like older men because relating-wise, it
works better. And that’s how they should
feel. The problem is when you start to
feel like a trophy. I they're like, "She's
cute and younger, wowee! —ugh, that’s
just gross!”

Perhaps the worst poaching mistake
is expecting young girls to act like
grownups. Some poachers win young
girlfriends and immediately set about
turning them into 30-vear-olds. Lau
abhors men who tell her things like. " Ev-
eryone's gone through what you're go-

ing through. so get over it.

Kate bolts when men try to change her
behavior. “The idea that, like, I couldn't
sit around listening to rock and roll, tor
instance—that would be it lor me.

TIE LONG ROND BACK.

Poaching, like all vices, is handled ber-
1er by some than by others. Men such as
Patrick Know how to handle it—they
steer calmly through the uproars and
escapades of coed life, accepting their
young girls’ naiveté and shortcomings
with good humor. They never panic, like
Michäel, or complain when their young
lovers misplace continents, like Dan. But
it may be men such as Patrick who'll ulti-
mately find it hard to let poaching go—
especially if they see it asa way to escape
their 30s. On many levels, that's. just
what poaching isan escape. whether
it’s from women who want to settle down

“I tried for the house and 1 got custody
of the mortgage.”

and marry, from the ever-increasing re-
sponsibilities of adult life or from even
darker worries, such as a lear ol death.

Michael, for oi admits that turnin;

30 Milled him with terror. For the frst
time, he realized he wouldn't be young
forever, that he'd hit his 40s, 50s. 60s
and eventually die. Poaching provided a
way to blow olf steam for a while, to hold
back the rushing tide of time.
I mean, I work in a young business, 1
dress like a young person, | wear my
hair long, I do everything I can to reject
the idea that Um thirty-two years old,”
says Michael. But there are signs that
he's coming to terms with his Zeitgeist.
After almost a. year of poaching NYU
rls. Columbia girls. girls who rode
tains in from Wellesley and Smith. he
recently started dating a 20-year-old
woman. “We just clicked immediately,”
he savs. “She really may be the one.”

At last word, Dan was in the m
frantic weekend hosting a visiting cc
who'd brought two girlfriends along
unannounced, “Its a madhouse,
yelled into the phone, over the blasting
chords of the Chickasaw Mudd Puppies
or the Goo Goo Dolls, he wasn't sure
which. He sounded harried but sull
hooked on the thrill of poaching, though
he says he realizes it can't go on forever

Only Patrick swears he'll be a poacher
lor life. He can even see himself marry-
ing one of his young coeds one day, if the
timing is right and he's overwhelmed by
romance. He says this knowing full well
the fickleness and changeability of the
girls he loves. “After being married for
three months, she might decide she
loves someone else, and Га be crushed
and never show myself again. But
would be more dramatic and adventu
ous than marrying а thirty-year-old.^

Why does Patrick cling so tight to the
poaching ropes? He's heading into his
fourth year of it, plummeting into his
mid-30s, leaving behind many of the
friends his age he once had. Is he run-
ning away [rom something, or is he just
having a good time?

“1 may be trying to conquer my age
he admits, "but is that such a bad thing?
Maybe overlooking the fact that lm get-
ting older isn't sensible. but trying to re
tain a bit of freshness and a spontaneous
attitude seems good to me.”

In the end. poaching
than it seems ro. It's not just about sleep-
young coeds—it’s abor
the young man inside
you wish

may oller more

img with sexy
rediscover

yourself, rec
you'd neve
of your self you never want to give up. As
a poacher. you may gain a renewed long
ing and admiration for women your a

lost and discovering aspects

and find enough vigor and enthusiasm
to revitalize your grown-up lile
SU Dan says.

One more thi You get

to sleep with sexy young coeds.”

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PLAYBOY

150

STEVE MARTIN

(continued [rom page 130)
now. You are one, fella. Get used to it and
go with it.

For that small group of naysayers—
and, let's face it, what else would they do
time? —here are ten more pai
ed reasons why His Loonines:

g he did in The Jerk.
g he did in Dead Men Don't

Wear Plaid.

3. Everything: he did in The Man with
o Bruins
4. His quiet support for young come-
‚ апу one of whom may challeng
him for a role at some future date.

5. Everything he did courageously in
om Heaven.

6.H
for the

refusal to compete with Stallone
hts to the Beethoven story and
his insouciant attitude about the project.
(He wants it, line. Let him have it. Let's
see what he ncs With it. [Panse] Ull do

up and finding John Candy ki
саг.

8. His rock-dentist cameo in Little Shop
of Horrors, the very mention of which
makes you want to check out the cassette
and watch it again.

9. Everything he did in The Lonely Gi
Parenthood, All of Me, My Blue Heaven and
Three Amigos.

10. His feclings about Sununu.

!— Please do not urinate on this cactus—State

Conservation Department."

UNCLE ANDY GEE

(continued from page 116)

1 can feel it.” Uncle Andy made a sweep-
ing gesture toward the crew. “They can
all feel it, too.”

“Tm sure they do,” replied Stan softly.

Andy bounced away to a lighted m
ror near the side of the set to finish
putting on his clown make-up. He had
enormous energy in his step, more than
Stan had seen si he found out about
Andy’s illness.

“Andy looks good,” said Gene, who
had directed all of Uncle Andy Gee's Fun
House episodes for the past four years.
“Is therapeutic for him, dont you
think?”

Stan nodded, but his lack of enthusi-
is obvious.

" Gene added earnestly. “It's
helped him. He looks better, he even
seems to have put some weight back on.
1 wouldn't be surprised if you could hold
this show for months, maybe even a year."

“We can hope so,” Stan answered.

The overhead lights came on, bathing
the Fun House set in bright, artificial
sunshine. A few more crew members
showed up, taking their position at the
coffee urn, slowly gearing up for what
they knew would be a very strange day.
aul, the station's dim-witted, portly
announcer and weekend weatherman,
walked in, the only person dressed in a
coat and tie. He motioned for Stan to
join him omside.

“Read this, Mr. B.,” he sa
Stan the d script, personally written
and typed by Uncle Andy himself. “Do
you really want me to say this?”

Read it to me,” said Stan, “I want to
hear what it sounds like."

Saul cocked his head and switched to
1 : "Hello, boys and
girls, and welcome to a very special visit
to Uncle Andy Gees Fun House. Some of
you may already know that Uncle Andy
as been sick. As a matter of fact, Unde
Andy has been very sick with a disease
that boys and girls ca
that you don't get better
when you don't get better, you die. And
thats what's happened to Uncle Andy.”

Saul checked Stan's face for some form.
ion, but Stan only motioned for
him to continue reading. "But belore he
died, Uncle Andy wanted so very much
to say goodbye to all the boys and gi
who love thc Fun House. So he taped this
special show so that you and he could
v опе last visit together, one last
chance to sing your favorite songs and
play your favorite games.” Saul paused
and shrugged. “Then we cue the music
nd I introduce him, just like alwa
“Have you seen the rest of the scrip
Stan asked.

“No” admitted Saul. “Just my part.
aid no one could see the s
had expected as muci
Andy grabbed the microphone at the

company picnic six weeks ago, a
nounced that he was dying of leukemia
and made an impassioned speech about
his farewell show, his last chance to say
goodbye to the only family he had ever
had, the only people he had ever loved—
his kids. Kids have to learn about death,
and how to mourn, he said. "I cant leave
them without saying goodbye." He then
made Stan promise, in front of all his
employees and their families, that he
could tape a show to be broadcast imme-
diately alter his death. Stan had looked
out at the sea of moist eyes and, feeling a
little emotional himself, had. given his
word. He didn’t mean it, but under the
circumstances, there was no choice.
Even an evasive answer would have
made an uncomfortable situation unten-
able, and the truth would have been dis-
astrous. But unlike Stan's other white
lies and half truths, this one was made to
a dying man before 67 witnesses.

It seemed odd—to Stan, at least—how
cvervone believed the lie. In the days
that followed, nearly every employee at
the station had taken time to compli-
ment Stan, to tell him he was doing the
right thing, the brave thing, that he was
helping both Uncle Andy and the chil-
dren. Stan had never felt much warmth
from the staff before, but now they were
proud of him. He had agreed to let them
be part of something historic.

“You should talk to Andy and get him
to tone down his intro." suggested Saul.
We'll scare the shit out of kids every
time their mom or dad gets a cold."

Saul was dumb but not significantly
dumber than the rest ofthe staff. If we're
going to do the show, they seemed to
think, then we should do it right. For
Uncle Andy. For the kids. It had become
a station-wide passion, welding them all
together, as if Stan had ever really con-
sidered running
the kids who watched KBXT needed to
be dragged into Uncle Andy's misery.
Stan saw no choice but to let Andy tape
his farewell show and put it in his office
sale until Andy died, but he would never,

aces, let anyone
¢ one minute of it.
, he told Saul,

under any circumsi

There were two sets of Andy's kids—
the ones who watched the show and the
crew that worked it. Most of the camera-
men, grips, sound engineers and the like
were fresh out of high school and not
bright enough or ambitious enough to
go to college. For them, running the
equipment at a TV station—even a tiny
1500-watt station in a minor market—
was the best blue-collar job ima ble.
Stan fantasized that they bragged about
their jobs when they picked up girls, that
working at KBXT was a glamour job.

Once, Stan had worked at a network
Маке in Philadelphia, on his way, he

g the show on the air, as if.

thought, to New York or L.A. and the
big time. Looking back, he could never
be sure what had gone wrong. Maybe he
wasn't good enough. Perhaps he lacked
drive. Sometimes he feli unlucky or
blamed his fate on his family—without a
wife and two girls, he could have taken
some more chances, ridden out the dry
spells without resorting to lesser jobs at
lesser stations, tarnishing his résumé so
that work at a network, or even at a
major station, was unlikely. Somehow,
on his way to becoming Lee Iacocca,
Stan had ended up selling used cars
xcuse me, Mr. B.," said one of the
crew kids as he pushed a barrel of prop
toys past Stan. The set was alive now, the
equipment wa ion and the lights
adjusted. Despite the situation and his
own dashed career hopes, there was still
something exciting about taping a TV
show. Sometimes Stan had to remind
himself that he really liked TV, and that
it was better to run KBXT than to own a
dry cleaner's or sell frozen yogurt.

Andy was still dabbing on make-up
and putting the finishing touches on his
costume when Stan walked up behind
him. Stan noticed that three light bulbs
in the row of lights surrounding the mir-
ror were burned out.

“II get those lights fixed for you,” he
said.

“That's OK, I've been putting on this
make-up for thirty-seven years at four-
teen stations. I could do the da
answered Andy. “I assume Saul had
trouble with the s

Maybe terminal akes you om-
niscient, thought Stan. But then he
thought of his grandmother. Terminal
cancer had made her bullheaded, de-
manding and wrong. He remembered
that after. one torturous visit—du
which his grandmother had репа
insisted he take away the new color
he had brought her so she could watch
her shows in black and white, the way
she was used to—the private nurse took
him aside and said, “Just because some-
one is dying doesn't mean they're sud-
denly noble and wise. They're still just
human and sometimes a litile less.”

“Why don't we take a walk?” Stan sug-
gested, and Andy stood and lollowed
him outside to the parking lot. Stan in
his polo shirt, chinos and deck shoes;
Andy in his wide polka-dot tie, striped
suspenders with flashing red diodes and
a plastic tion that sprayed water

"Saul had a problem, yes, but I told
him to leave the script as is,” said Stan,
choosing honesty as a relatively new
management technique. "He meant no
harm. He was simply worried about
scaring the kids.

Andy seemed impatient
Saul know about my children? Have you
ever met his kids? They're terrors, every
one of them, and they're even dumber
than he is.”

Stan smiled.

"What docs

“1 don't think they're

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UNDERARMS

PLAYBOY

152

such bad kids. Saul and Marijane have
done a good job. It's not easy raising five
children."

“Obviously not,” snapped Andy. They
leaned against the wall in silence. Finally.
Andy spoke. 71 think you're lying 10 me,
Stan,” he said. “I don't think you're go-
ing to run this show.”

"p understand why you think that. but
I wouldnt lie to you,” lied Stan. “Be:
sides, you have a lot of friends here at
the station. They heard me promise that
the show would ай. What would I say
to them?”

“It's not for me. you know,” Andy said.
“It's for my kids. The show is part of
their lives, and if it suddenly «а
peared, it would be hard on them. 1
think they deserve the truth, dont you?

“L may have had my doubts, but I've
еп you my word.
feel so much love coming from
those kids when I do the show. I's real—
I can feel it all around me. And when I
do persoual appearances lor the
first time, Stan was watching Andy choke
up while discussing his death— Ell miss
that, 1 really will.
“The kids will miss vou. too," said
Stan. "We all will” Theyd discussed
Andy and his kids numerous times be-

“He's

Tore. Ofen, Andy's egocentricity seemed
charming. Other times, й was vaguely
pathological. Stan was never convinced
that Andy occupied a place in the hearts
and minds of his young viewers that was
so special it warramed this bizarre bon
voyage episode, a funercal kiddie show in
which Unde Andy Gee would explain
death to children, between cartoons and
commercials, while wearing a Соми
costume. And not just any death, either
His own

“We have a lot in common, Stan," said
Andy. It seemed to Stan to be a ludicrous
statement, Stan was voung and healthy,
Andy was old and dying. Stan wore a
khaki belt, Andy wore Hashing sus-
penders, Stan was married and had а
family, while Andy lived alone in a small
apartment. Whe had family or friends. it
was a well-kept secret. "I didnt want to
end my lile ar KBXT. I thought I could
have been Captain Kangaroo or one of
the regulars on Sesame Sheet, but it didn't
happen. E just kept moving to smaller
and smaller markets, to worse and worse
TV stations. Did vou know this is my first
and only UHF station? Га always been
on VHE before."

“This is my first UHF station,” said
Stan. "It sounds as il you had a longer

one of a kind—music by Andrew Lloyd Webber and
words by Andrew Dice Clay.

vun in the big time than I did.
"But 1 didn’t appreciate it. Al th
ic. I kept wondering, What will b
come of me? Will I go network? It wasn't
lihe doctor told me I was dying th:
ized this is it. This is what became of
ne. My lile built to Uncle Andy Gees Fun
House, and then it stopped.

"Do you know why Um glad Um dy-
ing? Because this was my last stop. The
day would come for you to fire me and
cancel the Fun House, {that would be
it. Td never ger another show. There'd
be no more kids and no more money.
There were days that 1 hated being on
this two-bit station, and now 1 feel guilty
about that. 15 not where you do the
work, it’s only that you get the chance to
do it. Do you understand?”

"E think so,” answered St
marveling earlier today on how
ways excited when we Lape a show, even
though I've been responsible for literally
hundreds of shows

Andy smiled, having proved their sim-
ilarities. “My death could be a big break
for you,” he added. “My farewell show
will get lots of publicity, People will think
irs a bold move. Youll be noticed.
Maybe Brandon Tartikoll will call.”
Га rather have you healthy,
Stan

15 too late for th id Andy mat-
ter-ol-factly. “Did 1 tell you Гуе pre-
pared a special gift for my kids? I's a
song, I wrote it a few months ago. when
T found or

“That's nice.”
about?”

"Death. of course. It's called ГЇЇ Be Your
Friend When Fm Gone.”

said

an. “Wh

said

Stan tensed but said nothing.
“Û think it’s important for my kids to
know I still « » matter what, Maybe

it will become a standard, like Happy
Birthday, but they M play it at funerals.

Stan looked closely at Andy. He could.
tell tha thick layer of
grease paint. Andy was pale and sweat-
“Do you want to rest before the
7” he asked.

"Wess said Andy. “I think ГЇЇ
the Fun Van for a whil
PI be a little late
ched as Andy's big Hoppy
shoes disappeared into the purple van.
quicily hoping that Andy would die
peacefully during his nap, before the
show could even be taped.

even under a

» into
Tell the others

now

.
Lio the studio, “Andy's
taking a nap,” he announced. “Well take
a break until he’s ready”

the director, hi up a tape
ol Unele Andy's first Fun House at KBXT,
and a small group gai
trol room 10 waich it. Br was
other Fun House, with the possible excep-
tion of the one they were about 10 tape,
with Andy sliding down the pole of his
imaginary tree house, introducing car-
Toons, making dumb jokes, doing a

Stan return

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PLAYBOY

154

pratfall or two, interviewing the guest du

Jour—a hreman, a 4-H club winne:
"What are Andy's ratings?" asked
someone.
Nat great,” answered Stan. “To be

perfectly honest, he doesn't even win h
time slot with kids. More of them watch
the Gimme a Break veruns on channel
eleven.”

It went unsaid, but Stan guessed that
everyone thought he had kept Andy on
out of the goodness of his heart, but in
truth, nothing on the station did much
better, so there was no reason to penalize
Andy. While everyone thought that Un-
cle Andy Gee's farewell Fun House would
male television history, Stan's secret fear
was that—even if it aired—no one would
notice. Given the station's ratings, Andy
could say a splashy goodbve and get
nary a tear in return. Once, KBXT's old
sports reporter had gotten drunk before
a newscast and accidentally switched
most of the major-league baseball scores
on the air, turning half a dozen losers in-
to winners and severely confusing any-
one paying attention to the pennant
race. The crew told Stan what hap-
pened, and a furious Stan fired the re-
porter within the hour, only to feel
fool later when a mere three view-
ers complained. And the newscast was
KBXT's highest-rated show

From the control booth, n saw
Andy enter and make his way slowly to
the set. He stood in the center and said,
a weak voice, "I'm ready" The crew
scurried into position and Saul bounded
to the booth to read the introduction.
Stan slyly rolled his chair next to the
main recording unit, so that when the
show was over, he could grab the master
cassette and keep it from falling into oth-
€r hands.

Saul read the intro with enthusiasm,
and Andy slid down the pole like a
young man, leaping onto center stage,
his voice booming as he said, "Do you
know why this show is so special, every-
onc? It's because I love you all so much
that I simply couldn't leave without say-
ing goodbye. I know what you're think-
ing. You're thinking, If Uncle Andy is so
ick that he died, why does he look so
happy, why does he look so strong? I'm
happy because I have you, and because
we love one another, and because for
most of my life, I've been able to do ex-
actly what I wanted to do—to make kids
like you happy.”

Stan watched the monitor, Despite the
fact that the crew was emotionally
spent—he saw the occasional tear streak-
ing the acne-scarred faces of the young
technicians—each one was doing his job.
Andy was always in focus and in center
frame, Gene called all the right shots
and the boom man never missed a sylla-
ble. Maybe I've been too cynical about
these guys, thought Stan. Maybe I'm the
reason this is such a second-rate station.
Someone with real talent and guts could

make KBXT something special. Then he
pondered the worst thought of all: Per-
haps Andy was right—this is what has
become of me, this is where I'm sup-
posed to be.

“There are several things I have to tell
you that I think are very important,"
said Andy, pacing the stage energetically.
“The first is that I don't want you to be
sad, because even though I'm gone, I
was lucky enough to have a wonderful
life. That's what's important, and that's
what I want for you. Do you know how
10 have a wonderful life, everybody? It's
easy—just figure out what it is that you
want to do and do it, no matter what oth-
er people say, no matter how hard it is,
no matter how much you get paid. Do
you want to be a doctor or a dancer? Do
you want to play baseball or write books
or sing songs?” Andy paused, glancing at
the control booth. “Do you wantto runa
railroad or a TV station? Then do it, and
do it the best that you can and do
acıly the way that you want."

Dale Carnegie for kids. After cheering
them on to greatness and telling them.
once again how much he loved them,
Andy took out his guitar and sang ГЇЇ Be
Your Friend When I'm Gone. As the song.
faded out, the credits rolled and when
Gene yelled “Cut” through the micro-
phone, the crew stood in stunned si-
lence, not sure whether to weep or to
applaud. Andy was spent. tears were ru-
ining his make-up and his body was
hunched and shaking His hooming,
voice was now a whisper and he seemed
to have trouble moving. A grip took him
a chair, and he motioned feebly to get
the crew's attention. "I have one more
favor to ask of you,” he said quietly. “I
know you have all indulged me greatly,
and I thank you for ir. This show is very
special to me, and it wouldn't exist with-
out our station manager. We all know
ined for great things, and
that’s why I'd like to ask all of you to join
me in giving him a big hand for being
the bravest, most adventurous station
manager in the country.”

The crew turned and faced the booth,
obediently applauding. Stan stood be-
hind the protection of the glass wall and
waved. He flipped on the microphone
“Andy, you've done a show that y
be proud of—in fact, ¢
studio should be proud of the job
they've done today. Now let's get Andy
some rest so that we can keep running
the regular Fun House show for a lc
time to come.”

Part of the crew hovered over Andy at-
tentively, and the rest started closing up
the sound stage. Stan slipped the master
tape into his briefcase, and as the staff
started to chin, he headed for his Volvo.
Saul intercepted him.

“I just wanted you to know that yo
were right to leave Andy’s script the way
it was,” he said. “Sometimes I'm gules:
but you were right to be strong. Andy's

пасу why you're going plac

Stan put his arm on Saul's shoulder
and walked him to his car € my best
to Marijane and the kids,” said Stan.
‘You're doing a wonderful thing,”
id Saul. his eyes red and pullj. “I hope
you know that."

Andy emerged from the sound stage,
walking unassisted but surrounded,
nonetheless, by his faithful crew. The
kids were drained, as il they'd been to a
funeral, and they wanted to say things
that had meaning. They wanted to make
emotional contact not only with Andy
but with Stan as well. It made him feel
uncomfortable, guilty for his insincerity
and the ease with which he lied to Andy
and his employees.

“Do you have someone to drive you
home?" he asked Andy
"No," said Andy, smiling.
an drives itself.
It seemed disrespectful to leave before
Uncle Andy, so Stan waited, briefcase in
hand, while the Fun Van pulled out of
the lot. Then the crew escorted him to
his car and stood watching, like puppies,
as he drove off.

Even though his wife and daughters
n, Stan again took
the long way home, admiring the trees,

3 at the nice cars, driving past the
з homes.
As he drove, he allowed himself a self
dulgent fantasy. Andy dies and he runs
the show. Newsweek calls and Stan is the
subject of a brief but flattering story near
the back of the magazine. Ted Koppel
interviews him on Nightline. The phone
sings and a perky female voice says,
“Hold the line for Mr. Tartikoll, plea

But there's also reality. What will the
staff say when the show never runs? How
would young children cope with Andy's
tortured farewell? He thought about his
own daughters and how they'd respond,
if they were Fun Howe fans instead of
regular Gimme a Break watchers. He won-
dered about his next job, and the one
after that and the one after that, all the
way to his last job. Is this, he asked him-
sell, what has become of me, or is there
omething else, anything else waiting
farther down the line?

He drove until he saw the biggest,
nicest house on the street, the type of
home he once thought he'd own by now.
He rolled down the window of the Volvo
nd dropped the cassette of Uncle
Andy's special show out the window
Slowly, so that the neighbors would not
be suspicious, he drove his car back and
forth over the cassette—once, twice,
three times—unril the car wheels
mashed the plastic casing and the tape
unfurled down the street in the fall
breeze. He watched for a few moments,
and then headed home, knowing t
"d feel much me
ing the freeway to work

“The

were waiting for hi

MARIE OSMOND continued from page 55)

"Why the hesitancy? What makes the backwardness of
the Saudis so special? Is it all that oil?”

purposes to show other Arabs that Is-
lam's sacred places were being defiled.
In a low point for First Amendment free-
doms, the press was barred from cove
ing the Bob Hope show, even though it
was broadcast three weeks later as an
NBC special.

If Saudi Arabia is worth defending,
why not defend it with our values intact
Since when do we subject American c
zens to the whims of dictators? If the
Saudis expect hundreds of thousands of
free Americans to stand in the front line
for them, then hey, not we, should be
more accommodating. If they can't ac-
cept an Army of free individuals on their
soil, then they should be encouraged to
hire mercenaries more to their liking.

But no such attitude was spied coming
out of the Bush Administration. On the
contrary, the Bush boys fell over them-
selves making sure nothing would dis-
turb feudalism as usual in a state best
designed for life 500 years ago. When
some Saudi women dared to drive cars
and were stopped by the police, Ameri-
cans said not a word in protest. The
brass, meanwhile, had ordered American.
Servicewomen to be more circumspect
They were instructed that they should
move out of their hotels in Riyadh only
in groups of four, clad in the formless
dress required of Moslem women. The
Saudi regime also felt threatened by the
free mingling of male and female Amer
icans, so the U.S. restricted most of the
troops to distant desert outposts.

Over and over, we were told by U.S
olficials how important it was not to chal-
lenge the Saudi view of women, food or
religion. Why? A plus of this huge Amer
ican presence ought to be a push toward
the transformation of Saudi society.

When Bush had his Thanksgiving
photo opportunity with the troops in the
Saudi sands, his media handlers insulat-
ed him from what the Los Angeles Times
referred to as “a deepening social chasm
within the desert kingdom.” The Times
noted the contrast betwe ? an incre:
ingly fundamentalist and
growing number of tellec-
tuals . . . blaming the Am wern-
mem for failing to den more
democratic reforms in Saudi Arabia in
exchange for the protection of its Armed
Forces.” Bush had a chance to at least
feint in the direction of the progressives,
but he refused. The point is that the sit
uation inside Saudi Arabia is fragile and
the US. is a player whether or not it
wants 10 be. But silence puts the Ameri-
cans on the side of the old guard

Most Saudis feel the Americas

have

been hypocritical. They have been de-
manding change all over the world, in
Poland, in Germany, in Nicaragua, but
they have not been doing anything here
to advance the democratic process,” said
one Saudi intellectual.

Why the hesitancy from an Adminis-
tration that has been willing to lecture
everyone else in the world about human
rights? Consider the demands on South
Africa. What makes the backwardness of
the Saudis so special? Is it all that oil?

Must be, for difficult to imagi
such caviling behavior toward a dictator
ship that didn’t have oil and the eco-
nomic clout that goes with it. U.S. troops
in Panama were never required to shape
up in this way. On the contrary, it was the
obstreperous behavior of a squad of
Americans—drunk, by some accounts—
that the occasion for the invasion
that ousted Noriega.

But even if itis a matter of oil, why did
the Bush Government think it had to do
all of the caving in? What if it had said,
“Sorry. fellows, but American troops

have a right to drink beer and sing
Christmas carols, and if you don't like it,
look elsewhere for protection"? Just
where would the Saudis have gone?

Yes, Saddam Hussein might have
scored some points by pointing the
finger at those [ree Americans and
shouting that the infidels had landed.
Well, they have, if by infidel you mean
anyone who doesn't follow the most ex.
treme manifestation of Moslem funda.
mentalism. But how long can this
charade go on? There are profound con-
tradictions between us and the Saudis
that cannot be long hidden. The U.S.
Army, like the society that spawned
it, is a pluralistic, essentially secular
consumer-oriented group of people.
Shouldn't the Saudi rulers and their
people learn this?

For better or worse, all societies that
have been protected by large numbers of
foreign troops have been dramatically
influenced by them. Regardless of the
Iraqi threat, it is clear that the oil-rich
fiefdoms cannot any longer be expected
10 survive on their own. They will re-
quire a constant foreign protection. It is
silly to expect their future security to de-
pend on the preservation of a status quo
so fragile that the presence of Marie Os-
mond could bring it down.

"Simullaneous al last!"

155

PLATO US

156

WISEGUY continued fion page 76)

“The difficulties s

em remote relative to getting

whacked with a bat or stuffed into a car trunk.

cared. Those asshole inspectors out
there just didn't give a flying fuck.”
.

Back in the early Sixties, when Attor-
ney General Robert Kennedy first made
of organized-crime figures a
top Government priority, a program for
protecting high-profile informants and
their families must have seemed like a
dandy idea. As early as 1963, Kennedy
hinted to the Senate subcommittee on
organized crime that a program already
existed on an informal level. Although
official procedures had not been worked.
out, the means for protecting important
witnesses were established that year
when Mob hit man Joseph Valachi spoke
before a Senate subcommittee on organ-
ized crime. His testimony was a revela-
tion, and the fact that he dared give it at
all was proof of the program's pow

Along with its potential as a crime-
fighting tool, the concept of witness relo-
cation contained a peculiarly American
notion—a chance to correct past -
takes and literally become а new person.
There was a kind of implied freedom
the program that suited the Great Saci-
ety. The idea—that a lifelong criminal
might somehow cleanse himself with the
help of the Federal Government and
emerge a chastened, productive member
of society—was, of course, incredibly

simplistic and naive. Yet so appealing
was this concept that for years the public
accepted the Justice Department's con-
tention that the program was working,
even as the horror stories mounted.

“In the beginning,” says John Parting-
ton, a former U.S. Marshal assigned to
WITSEC, “we never had any manuals or
textbooks to go by. Basically, we were
making it up as we went along. Soon the
demands became so great we just
couldn't keep up. It became like the un
nformed talking to the misinformed.
The program was devised to handle few-
er than 30 or 40 elite witnesses a year,
but during his 15 years as a regional in-
spector, Partington would personally
guard, relocate and help falsify 1.D.s for
nearly 2600 inductees.

7A big part of the probe says Part-
ington, now retired, “has always been
that the program is run out of Washing-
ton. The bureaucrats don't seem to have
any understanding of what's happening
out there in the real world. They've nev-
er had to face up to their decisions.”

For a long time, the Justice Depart-
ment avoided making any written
promises to witnesses. Only recently
ductees been required to sign
a memorandum of understanding—
known as an M.O.U. In the
the Marshals Service makes it clear that

have

'ement,

“Order the steak. You can't screw me
on bean sprouts and tofu."

while it will assist a witness in finding
employment, it will not falsify credit or
work histories. Thus, the witnesses are
totally dependent on the Government to.
find them work and are prone to look
lor outside income. Partington,
“You've got people in the program who
are being asked to take on a lifestyle
they've never experienced before. We ve
got guys—ifelong gangsters—capable of
making two and three hundred thou-
sand dollars a year through crime, and
here we are, asking them to work nine to
five, five days a week, for maybe fifteen
grand a year.”

An even more insurmountable prob-
lem than the financial strains faced by
those in the program is boredom. It
doesnt take a criminal sociologist to
figure that people accustomed to an
citing, high-wire lifestyle will have trou-
ble adjusting to working-class sobriety.
Such has been the case with thousands of
inductees.

Henry Hill, the Mafia wanna-be lion-
ized in the book Wiseguy (the basis for
last year's hit movie Goodfellas), is just
one example. After a long carcer as a
mid-level hustler affiliated with the Luc-
chese crime family in Brooklyn and
Queens, Hill cut a sweetheart deal with
the Government in 1980 and testified
against his former pals, Jimmy “the
Gent Burke and the late capo Paul
io. Relocated to Redmond. a Seattle
suburb, Hill found his new life to be in-
terminably dull. As he put it at the end of
the book and film, “Today everything is
very different. No more action. I have to
wait around like everyone else. I'm an
average nobody. 1 get to live the rest of
my life like a schnook."

The irony, of course, is that Hill did
not wait around. In May 1987, he was
arrested on Federal drug charges after

n undercover agent bought cocaine
from two underlings who fingered him.
ike their boss before them, Hill's
henchmen turned canary and agreed to
testify against in court, A jury took.
two hours to deliver a conviction.

Hill had a strong incentive to stay
clean, yet his addiction to the excitement
and danger of crime—and the notoricty
it provided—took precedence, a fact am-
ply illustrated at the time of his arrest
confronted. by Washington state
troopers, Hill is said to have asked
pleadingly, “Don't you know who I am?
I'm Henry Hill—the wiseguy.”

It's not hard to fathom the appeal th
Witness Security Program might hold
for a career criminal facing a long pris-
on sentence. Although inductees are of-
ten warned that life in the program will
not be easy, the difficulties seem remote
relative to getting whacked with a base-
ball bat or stuffed into a car trunk

The assumption, of course, is that the
Government will be able to deliver on
most of what it promises. “What the

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PLAYBOY

158

Government says it can do and what it
has the ability to do two dillerent
things," says Mermelstein, who has been
relocated four times in the t four
years. “I've known lifelong criminals
with more of a sense of honor than some
of the people who run this program.”

The prime appeal of WITSEC has al-
ways been the manufacture of a viable
false identity, supported by all the docu-
ments. Although the Government con-
tinues to insist that it can process records
at short notice, the history of the pro-
gram suggests otherwise,

“Every week I was on the phone,” says
John Partington, “with some witness
shouting in my ear, My kid wants to play
linle-league ball and he needs medical
records. ‘My daughter wants to get mar-
ried and where's the goddamn drivers
license? And what about a
certificate? You need a birth certil
before you can do anything
Most times, these аге street-smart
people—hustlers. They're not Billy G

hams. They'd say to me, Just gimme a
week. lll get my own documentation."
And Га have to say, But that’s not legal
You do that and you're back to your old
ways. It was frustrating, Why should it
take the Government months to do what
these people could do in days?”
.

Despite the obvious failings of the pro-
gram, there has never been a shortage of
criminals trying to get in. During WIT-
SEC's most ambitious period, the mid-
Seventies, criminals were tripping over
one another to cut a deal with the Feds
and get relocated. From 1971 to 1977,
the annual number of inductees explod-
ed from 92 to 450. The standards for ad-
mission broadened beyond organized
crime to include people for whom the
program was never intended —small-
me dope dealers, innocent victims of
crime and white-collar stool pigeons. As
those inductees worked their way
through the system, new- problems
arose. Witnesses were told by the Mar-

"My goodness, Mr. Barret, wilh all those vitamins and all
that jogging, we thought you'd never show up!"

shals Service that they could no longer
consider Atlanta, San Francisco or San
Diego for relocation, because those areas
were full.

1f providing documentation and satis-
fying employment for lifelong gangsters
with minimal job skills has presented the
Government with difficulties, finding ad-
equate work for college-educated bro-
kers and other white-collar types has
proved an impossibility.

Consider the case of Marvin Naid-
borne, WITSEC's most notable white-
collar failure. The bespectacled manager
of a Brooklyn car-leasing agency, Naid-
borne had a character flaw: He was an
inveterate gambler often in debt to loan
sharks. Arrested in the late Sixties, he
was given leniency and relocation and
testified in a number of trials, where he
fingered, among others, a bank presi-
dent who had received kickbacks for
extending loans to his buddies at the
Italian-American Civil Rights League.

After relocation in the program, Naid-
borne, who had a degree in business ad-
ministration, waited around for the
Government to come up with a job, as
promised. One of the jobs was part-time
work as a process server. “That's a gr
job." Naidborne later told a reporte
bump into someone who knows some-
body in the Mob and I get killed."

In due time, Naidborne heard of an
opening as general manager of a Volks-
wagen dealership that paid $42,000 per
year. When he asked the Justice Depart-
ent to vouch for him, his request was
nored.

Totally dependent on the Govern-
ment for subsistence, Naidborne spent
the next few years working as a free-
lance rat fink, He would wander into a
city, nose around and eventually present
the Government with a major crime
case. He would collect informer's fees
from the FBI or the DEA, witness fees
from the Justice Department
times insurance rewards for recovered

ind some

goods. In one newspaper article, Federal
officials confirmed Naidborne's claim
that he had accounted for arrests across
the country involving drugs, stolen and
counterfeit securities, stolen airline tick-
eis and bookmaking rings. In a good
year, he claimed he could make $30.000
as a Witness Security vampire. But it was
а sorry, paranolac life, said Naidborne,
ng on the run in bad motels. He
blamed WITSEC: “They just don't care.
They leave you there, out in the cold,
like an animal. 1 don't want their mon-
еу... Ljust want a job, a chance to get
my life straightened out
.

Throughout WITSEC's troubled his-
laws have frequently been fod-
for investigative journalists. The
Marvin Naidborne case led to a series of
damning articles in Long Island's Neus-
day. In 1976, Fred Graham published a
book called The Alias Program, à scathing

view of WITSEC. The bad press result-
cd. in part. in hearings before the Pe
ren Sube ee on Investigation
red by Georgi пог Sam Nunn.
Federal lawmakers fi look
a program they hi roui
funding over the previous decade.

The result was an abundance ol saber
rattling—one Senator called WITSEC “a
body without a brain"—but hule in the
way of legislation. It wasn't until. 1984
that Congress enacted the Witness Se
rity Reform Act, a toothless capitulation
to the powers that run the program.
Since then, there have been no sub:
tive Congressional reviews, and WIT-
SECS budget has steadily increased,
from $2,000,000 1972 to n
544.000.000 in 198:

The prog
су has always been the degree to which it
! E
prey on pecting communities, as in
the case of Michael Raymond. Although
the Justice Department claims that the
current rate of recidivism among WT
¿Cs inductees is less than half the na-
nal average for felony offenders. this
has never been very comforting for local
cops. When trying to get information on
someone they suspect might be a relocat-
ed witness, more often than not they
find themselves buning heads with an
intractable Justice Department.

One case that nearly singlehandedly
sank WITS! avolved a bank robbe
and hardened lifer named Marion Al-
bert Prucu. Pruet was released 11
months early from an eight-year prison
term because he testified on behalf of the
e ol North Carolina in a murder case.

being relocated to New Mexico
with his common-law
on a violent rampage.
people. One of those n
wile. whom he bludgeoned with a
mer, strangled with a belt, then са
into the desert near Albuquerque, where
he poured gasoline over her body and
burned it beyond recogni

Wh Prucu’s case was brou
fore the US. General Accounting Ollice
in 1982, it raised more than a few trou-
bling questions. Local police in a num-
ber of jurisdictions had been trying to
track him for years, but no one had been
able to obtain information on his past.
Even more pertinent was the degree to
which informants like Pruett: were su-
pervised, and how closely they were
wed alter their release from the

am's most obvious defici

ovides nework for eriminals to

Ali

Ihe Marshals Service may be correct
in its claim that instances of people like
Prue's creatin, п crime waves
are low, but th n other mou-
bling issues, such as Ihe program policy

А innocent people who, for what-
reason, feel that they have been
ed as a result of WITSEC. In hun-

one

re rem:

tow

ever

wre

dreds of cases, for instance, witnesses
have used the program to dodge |
s and debt Some have
even used weed spouses
en. One such
Buffalo construction
worker named Tom Leonhard, went as
far as the U.S. Supreme Court

A law-abiding patriot, Leonhard had
been granted visitation rights to see his
children each weekend by the courts of
New York State, When they abruptly dis-
ppeared one afternoon with his ex-
wile's new husband, Leonhard made the
rounds of th 5

collectors.

from visiting the
case, involving

local offices of the U.S.
s. the FBI and the U.S, Attorney.
s. the Justice Department
refused to admit it had had anything to
do with his children’s disappearance.

It was discovered that the children
had, in fact, been relocated, so Leon-
hard sued the Governm
a U.S. appeals jud
ollicials of the Justice Department had
h,” the E 1 court
ess the officials “1

"acted in good
would not second-
tional exercise of discretion." Leonh
and the New York courts were bound by
the decisions of WITSEC.

This example and others like it illu
tate yet another Maw in the p
one that the Marshals Service has never
been able to reconcile. In promisi
protect the new identities of iis in-
ductees, the Justice Department is torn
between its obliga
its obli

ogram—

that it is often unable
interests ol

iully protect the

In contrast to the complex апа abun-
dant reasons WITSEC has never really
worked as intended, the justification for
ils continued €
those who support the pr
short and sweet: The Witness Security
Program brings about convictions.
/ou cannot make an organized-cri
case this country without it,
Richard Gregorie, а former
L Attorney m Miami who init
hundreds ol people
Mermelstein—into the pre
his 17-year Gover
system of law require:
dence. Hearsay won't make a case. Un-
less you have someone who can put the
criminal there fi nd, à conviction
isn't going to happe

There is no ques

ici

сасон

says
Assistant

n.
ion that the US

Government h a number of im-
ive victo the past decade
П “traditional

apt Practices (RI-
ss Security Pro-
ed an important role in
irtually every major
Mob case in recent y lied hear
ily on turncoat witnesses. Invariably. the
promises of the program have laid the
groundwork for informant cooper
The fact that it works as a ci

PLAYBOY

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legislators and the public. Both seem re-
signed to accept the concept of a flawed
WITSEC, believing, perhaps, that by
fabricating new names and identities for
people, our. Government is proving
daring and omnipotence. The problem.
that by allow
nent this power, we arc only encourag-
ing arrogance and cynicism, a fact amply
illustrated by those who run WITSEC.
"The program is now headq
Arlington, Virginia, and is run by Gerald
Shur. Described by one witness currently
in the program as "a small man with a
small mind and a God complex,” Shur is
often cited by inductees as one of WIT-
gest administrative problems.
He is known as something of a monoma-
ac in the J. Edgar Hoover mold and
his decision-making process has been
called “dictatorial and capricious” by one
former WITSEC emp!
Shur

of course,

talks with th

юм neve press,

and he turned dow nterview
requests for this Doug Tillit, a
spokesperson for the US, Ma

sponded by saying
the

are some people who support the
program and some who don't. There's
nothing we can do or say about it.” Shur
has always preferred to let those who
benefit most from the program—Fed-
eral agens and Government prose-
cutors—extol its virtues. As for its
deficiencies, to say that WITSEC has en-
gaged in a cover-up or two would be a
quaint accusation. The program was de-
signed Lo eng: n deception.

Ir would be a take, however, to
blame the
on Shar, or even on the inadequacies ol
the Marshals Service. The real question
is not whether the program is badly ad-
ministered but whether or not it can e
er be administered.

No single group has a more acute un-
derstanding of this than the witnesses
themselves. Dozens have turned to the
the courts seeking an outlet,
usually out of frustration with the Justice
Department's lack of accountability.

Most witnesses enter the program in
such a state ol paranoia and fear that
they willingly follow the Governments
lead. For every Michael. Raymond
Marion Albert Prueu—litelong criminals
who see WITSEC as just one more ex-
ploitable branch of the system—there
we hundreds whose motives are more
confused. Once persuaded by the Gov
ernment 10 become informants, they
have little choice but to see WITSEC in
the most hopeful of terms, as a kind of
redemption, a chance to cleanse their
misbegotten souls.

press or

Joe Labriola, a smalltime gangsı
from Connecticut, was looking for just
such а cleansing in 1987 when he was

busted fe
age of 51,

trafficking in cocaine, At the
a did not wa

"odo

spend any more time in jail. Despi
givings, he decided to become a Gove
ment infor nt.

As with many criminals wh
briola seemed to crave the
his masters. Alter cach trial in which he
testified against his former [riends, he
sought reassurance from the agents and
prosecutors, who told him, “You did the
right thing."

Had Labriola known that the suicide
тае among inductees into WE TSEC was
many times higher than the national av-
erage, he might have asked himself an
obvious question: Why? And he might
have arrived at the obvious answer that
those in the program were, after all.
criminals, just like himself) To believe
that the € raiment would ever truly
itself with his wellare required
jd of wishful thinking of which on
capable.

"mi

do so,

»proval of

E
conce
the ki

e men à

his cooperation, Labriola
sought to endear himself to the only
friends he had lefi—ihe Einen. Often
he would cook meals for the police and
prosecutors as they discussed his next
day's testimony. Joe would regale them
with stories [rom his Mob dass, and they
would all laugh and slap one another on
the back. It was almost like old times,
when Labriola had told wiseguy stories
with his buddies until the dim hours of
the morning.

But there was a difference.
were cops and he was not. At the
each day. il t home to thei
and kids, while he slinked around, leel-
ing like a rat, hoping he wouldn't inad-
vertently blurt out some small fact that
betray his true identi
in his Ше caused Labriola to

These men
ad ol
wives

уме

The con-

suller bouts of decp depression. which
he sought to alleviate through the occa-
sional use of cocaine and here

In May 1990, Joe could take no more
sini the bed in his tiny Govern-
ment-assigned apartment in Springfield,
Massachusetts, he swallowed. an emire
bottle of medication he had been taking
lor high blood pressure, chasing. that
with illegal drugs. He left behind a sui-
cide note in which he said he could no
r take the pressures ol being a Gov-
ment witness. The last
in what looked like a ch
id, “Don't be mad
know,” said a cop familiar with
Labriola’s case, *
to me. Joc was in a lot of a
ver fel good about turning. It was
an abrupt change in lifestyle. He was
caught between two worlds and wasnt
comfortable in either of them.”

There were no Federal agents at
Labriola's funeral. He left the Witness
Security Program the same way he en

tered it. Alone.

ser

MARTIN SCORSESE continued fim page 72)

“I told Demme, ‘You can't do that, youre not Italian.
Only Italians can play that music.""

constant thing with us. We don't see each
that much anymore. He was like a
brother who helped a lot.
PLAYBOY: How would you compare your
Italian-American films with The Godfa-
ther, Married to the Mob, Prizzi's Honor?
SCORSESE: Demme was using sicreotype
Tor Married lo the Mob, but for a farce, you

can get away with it. Prizai’s Honor? For-
get it; it’s a whole different thing. ]
Nicholson and Anjelica, Huston went
right over the top with those ace

was a wonderf ody
and it’s very
PLAYBOY: Are you
cal about those films?
SCORSESE: Yeah. Ce
Italian-Americans are
Theyre not made by Hali
Moonstruck, for example, is an enjoyable
picture, but it's a little exaggerated in
terms of the ethnicity of it. It sometimes
is disturbi the come up
and you hear That’s Amore by Di Mar-
п Italian-American, you cringe a
Or Mambo Italiano in the titles of
Married to the Mob. V told Demme, “You
"t do that, you're not Only
Italians can play that music. Only Hal-
ians can say the bad things about our-
selves."

PLAYBOY: Have you ever gotten compli-
nts on these kind of films from, say,
fia ty par

films about

novies.
re go-

Pau

p they sai
ing to take you to see ‘i picture.” They
took him to see a movie, and it was Mean
Streets. And he loved it, It was his favorite

picture. And 1 got the same response
from Ed McDonald, who was head of the
Brooklyn organized-crime strike task
force.

PLAYBOY: Whiy was it so appealing?
truth to it

SCORSESE: Because it had a
And that was the high
PLAYBOY: Have you eve
yourself?

SCORSESE: No.

f by
the door

Га shoot

acci-

and they
Ud be like B
PLAYBOY: This has be
ly because you speak so fast
ths and shots f

na a whirlwind—

эт your in-
n do you slow down?

Whe slee]
times. Playing w dog. When Jay
Cocks and looking at old

SCORSESE:

When are you most alone?
A few minutes before f
Us when I have

SCORSESE:

Sn
sense of

atone їй your

goes through ir mind
SCORSESE: The city looks like a pi
that Keeps changing. 1 keep thinkin
that I don't know how much longer VIE
е renting—th.
ito get my own plac
y back on
1 don't belong in R
long in London. Where do 1 bel
Maybe just above New York—and me,
afraid of flying. But I don't have to think
about where 1 belong when Im up
there. 1 can just enjoy it, look over it and
think about where I came from and what
I'm doing now.

East
e, I don't be-

c Lower

PLAYBOY: [f you had to de
would you do it the same?
SCORSESE: Ol
have to, bec

there's no doubt. I would
use the mistakes

wisdom to share?
led of a sequ
m Diary of а Country
priest is listening to a wom-
ans problems. She's had а very hard
ne. He tells her something Гуе always
felt deep dow not a torture
He just wants
selves,
PLAYBOY: Is that the kind ol advice you'd
give to Martin S

SCORSESE: It's good advice. Im just try-
ing to get through every minute of the
day. Its the continuing struggle. It
sounds pretentious, but I mean it in a
good way. I don't mean being an achiev-
. I mean accomplishing whatever thi
is 10 accomplish between friends and
onships. 1 was pretty strongly sin-
gle-minded when I was young. I knew
that | wanted to be a director, and 1 got
that. And when you get it, when you get
your dream, what do you do with
PLAYBOY: Good question

SCORSESE: You go minute by minute.

“While you're on
this medication, you're not Por lo
operate machinery, but I think it will be all right
for you to use your vibrator.”

161

PLAYBOY

162

GEORGE FOREMAN

(continued from page 119)

“А lank doesn't need a plan. A tank gets out there, and
if youre in the way, you better hide.”

don't have to. What I do better than any-
body else is knock people out. 1 land a
good punch. If E hit you on the shoulder,
[hir you on the neck, it hu
you on the chin hurts. Ull be
punches, and if Holyfield
moves his chin out of the way and 1 hit
him on his car, he'll go down.

HAVO: As opposed ro being a one-
punch knockout artist, you seem to hurt
your opponents until they crumple or
quit. Do you think you operate a little
differently from other fighters?

FOREMAN: Sure, I do. I have a style t
most people haven't paid any attention
10 since l've been back. I don't fight the
same way I did fifteen years ago. Origi-
nally, I had the style of the art of self-de-
ense: 1 wanted to he a pure boxer with a
good delense who could punch. This

time around, I'm a pure offensiv
fighter. I think of myself as a tank th
going to war, and the only way to defeat
to get a bigger tank to stand up to
nk battles don't last too long. My
s to knock Holyfield out
Everybody's gonna spend
so one round is for the
second round, he must go.

me. T
intention
two round:
th
show, but th

mavsov: You seem to have undergone a
personality transplant, George, When
you were younger, you comported voi
self like Sonny Liston; but these days
you seem to be talking like vintage Ali
How much calculation has gone into that
change?

rorean: It's knowledge and exper
not эп. At one point, fighters
like Liston, who put a big scowl
faces, would sell tickets. But ther

ence,

ale

while, if that doesn't sell and it didn't
you have to come np with another Bar-
num & B
hear, “Hu

ion. You're gonna
come on out and
see.” Pm not imitat Us just that
people who are trying to sell a produci
sound alike. I'm gonna get paid in per-

ges, and if people don't know about
the light, they're not going to come. So I
find myself literally on the corner, trying
to sell this product. And people say.
“Hey, he reminds me of so-and-so.” And
1 should remind them of so-and-so. Em
an entrepreneur; 1 gotta make money
And sitting back with a scowl on my face
won't bring in the customers.

10.

тлувоу: Is all this huckstering difficult
for you?

Foreman: Oh, no, I like selling. Гуе been
selling now for almost fourteen years. In
1977, 1 quit boxing to become an evan-
gelist and started preaching on street
s. At first, 1 was horrible at it. Leut
off my mustache and all my hair, and no-
body noticed me. I had the best product
the world, but everyone passed me by.
nd that hurt me. When I realized I was

cor

“I was pretty sure you weren't really Elvis, but
1 thought, why take a chance?"

going to have to do some selling, I got
myself a litile speaker and 1 went, “Hey,
is George Foreman, the guy who
gh Muhammad Ali! Sure, he
knocked me down; sure, 1 lost! But
George Foreman is here to bring you to
Jesus" And they stopped. I wish I'd
known about all this when I fought Ali in
„ because that fight just didn't pull
in all the money it should have. I really
didn't understand the closed-circuit deal
and the fact that the more people who
bought tickets, the more money you
could make. They guaranteed me five
million dollars and I said, n rich."
I didn't think, Man. this is a business.
1 can bring in triple that money. I was
kind of ignorant at twenty-six, and 1
don't make excuses for ignorance. I

didn't surround myself with people
who'd tell me, “Hey, George. loosen up.
baby."

riwnov: Do you still enjoy the physical
part of bo:

roneatyn: [like it, yes. As a matter of fac
il you look at my record, I've been fight-
ing once every other month, Sometimes

twice a month. I've been allowing pro-
the least amount of time to pro-
my fights.

motel

mote

12:

You've certainly given the pro-
moters plenty of time to hype this f
Because of the availability of
view TV, many people think this will be
the most lucrative bout in boxing hi

rwy

Do you?
rogas: If Holyfield had a mouth, it
definitely would be. Here you've got

George Foreman trying to sell and the
other fighter is walking around like,
"Vm the champion of the world, look at
my muscles.” Holyfield is pure and tra-
ditional, and that doesn't mean a thing
the box office. I wish he would actual-
у but he lets his manag-
er, Lou Duva, speak for him. Of course,
if Holyfield sees this interview, he proba-
bly will say something, like, “Duh... 1
gotta ask my manager.” And, believe m

аге the way he's gonna fight, 100. Let
me tell you something: Ifyou depend on
people to speak lor you and train you,
then you cant fight me, man. ГЇЇ eat you
up, because when you get in the middle
ol the ring, you're by yourself. And if I
catch you looking back at your corne
you're gonna be looking up from the
canvas. Holyfield’s not only going to be
lacing a big. strong, tough man, he's also
going to be fighting one of the best train-
ers around who's getting instr
from his own self. Nobody screams in-
structions to me from outside the ring. |
at and I don't need that

13.
Speaking as one of the best

PLAYBOY
trainers around, how much do you think

youll weigh for your bout with
Holylield?

FOREMAN: Т don't plan like that. What 1 do
is get myself in the best possible condi-
tion, I run hard, I train hard and what-
ever the scale says is fine with me. E
never try to get down to a certain weight.
I did that once, when I first got back. For
опе fight, 1 gor down 10 two hundred
and twenty-nine pounds, and I didnt
like the way I felt. I can't describe it bet-
ter than that; 1 just didn't feel right
at two-twenty-nine. Maybe 1 felt like
Holyfield—normal, like a guy who's got-

ne up with a plan. My thing is, jus
d put me in the ring. A

tank doesn't need a plan. A tank gets out
there, and if you're in the way, you bet-

ter hide

14.

mavwos: In preparing for this fight, are
you at least putting your fondness for

junk food on hold and getting down to

serious nutrition?

roreway: Pm following my own special
seafood diet—I cat everything I see. The
greatest pleasure of my life is my food.
I love to eat, and Pm not gonna let
Holyfield or no other human being put
me in a position where Im gonna sac-
rifice my meals. Гуе been told I remind.
people of Will Rogers—I never met a
fast-food chain I didn't like. In fact, 1
love every hamburger franchise there is
And I love fried fish and fried chicken
ice cream. At the start of my
boxing days, 1 left Houston in 765,
and I said, "One day Im gonna come
back and Fm gonna have a thousand
doll: 1 at chis
hamburger store in Houston,
m. I'm gonna go there every
day and have me a hamburger— ГИ have
that much money.” When I was heavy-
weight champion of the world, I wa
imented and my life was built around
ing. robot. | forgot
about things like hamburgers and hav-
ing friends and how to enjoy mysell. In
1977. when | left boxing and came
home, I realized, George, you've got a
million bucks. Nor only do you have all
that money but there are more fast-food
chains in Houston than you ever imag-
ed when you left. They were every-
where, | had this big fancy. Rolls-Royce
and I drove it to these fast-food chains a
few times a day. When 1 ordered bags of
food, the workers would all say, "Is t
Foren; They'd sec the Rol
Royce coming and know it was me. I had
a choice and 1 made it—the Rolls-Royce
was making me ashamed of myself. So 1
got me a Chevy pickup, and no matter
how many times a day I pulled
body would say, “Oh, here's George
Foreman." Now that Ein older, I don't
know why fighters pay guys to serve
them chicken and chicken feed, You get
to be champ of the world and all of a
sudden you got to eat chicken feed? Not

nd I'm gonna spend it

sacrifi I became

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PLAYBOY

164

ne. This time, I'm living a noi

1 I'm not sacrificing anything.
15.
rior: Earlier, you mentioned. Als

penchant lor lighting the toughest box-
ers in the world. Do vou think that's re-
sponsible for his condition today?
коккмах: The only thing wrong with Ali
is that he has Parkinson's disease, and
from what Гуе been told, he would've
gotten that if he never boxed one round.
Bur he's still mentally sharp, and if you
catch him at certain times of the day,
he'll do the Ali shullle and sull be th
greatest show on earth. He's like
percent of everybody in this co
needs a prescription
or two. His medicine:
have side eflects that
slow him down, but
that’s all. Otherwise,
he's noi And he's
still productive—a
few months ago. he
traveled overseas and
helped. get. some
hostages released
from Iraq. There
people in splendid
condition who were
unable to do that

16.

manos: Do you ever

have occasion. to see

no good. The only + 1 retired is be-
cause 1 didit want to be a boxer any
more. And the only reason I returned
that in 1986, alter Га built my gym in
Houston and had been working with
kids for a couple of years, one of my
accountants sal me down and said,
"George, you just can't keep this up. You
can't afford it. You ve put money aside
for yourself, but il you dont back oll the
gym. youre going to be another Joe
Louis." Alter that, 1 started traveling
around to speak at churches in retur
lor donations to the gym. That ended
one night in Georgia, when I felt like,
Here 1 am, the former heavyweight
champion who once made five millio

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коккмах: Who's Holyfield ever hurt? Re-
ally, who in the world has he ever hurt
The answer is nobody. And now he's got
to fight a real contender.

19.
mawo: HE you beat Holyfield, Mike
Tyson is waiting in the wings, and

a Foreman-Iyson bout conceivably
could be worth twenty-five million dol-
lars to you. Will you fight him?

FOREMAN: Tyson's dead. Tyson's over the
hill; the race has passed him by. People
who say Tyson just happened to come up

flat inst Douglas remind me of Dr
Leakey explaining how the dinosaurs

e they be-
The fact

looked befo:
came extinct
they weren't hi

not eve

in my head:
his day has come and
gone. What is in my
head is this: When

cunc out of re
ment, I needed mon-
and said 1 wa
coming back to be-
come champion of the
world. 1 didn't say 1
was only coming back.
10 get money, because
that’s the way you get

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1 was converted into
e ol mind, Ht
et him to de
e thing. Its

ы im
possible, you see, to
have peace of mind

out Jesus Chr
but Ali always argues
with me. Estill want to
convert him to Chris-
ty, but instead of
preaching to him, 1
try to win hin
other ways, т
looking айе
Hell find me helpi

over in

astly by

3 him on with his

12.

mamos Was your conversion to €
tianity why vou left boxing in 19777

roris: Christianity had nothing to do
with it. АЙ that boxing represented 10
me was confusion, and all it offered was
Lame and money. In 1977, 1 bad money.
so why stay in boxing? That's the reason
1 left. Fd be lying il E told vou 1 had a
revelation [rom God that said boxing's

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dollars for a single fight, and Um be
ging people for money. 1 told myself,
This will never happen to me again. 1
know how to get money: Um going to be
the heavyweight champion of the world
again. 1 came back home, got out my
athletic equipment and started training

18.

мутлу: Tu spite of what you said earlier
bout Ali, a lot of people think his condi-
n is related to fighting well a

passed his peak. Do you ever worry
abou gening hun dn the ring
Holyfield, after all, is a ch more dan-

gerous fighter than the parade of pugs
Li Li F pug

Y 1900 Safetes Corporation.

When I beat Holyfield
on April nineteenth,
ГИ have done all that
Eve said and wanted
to do. There are no
more gi

20.

mavsov: I there are
more goals, will
there be more boutsz
кемал: I dont think

so. Um full-

preacher and Tm
ed in fighting. Whoever
would have been champ of the world
I would have fought him, anyway. And 1
would have be: him. because it's my
destiny to become chamy obody
could have stopped me. IE my goal was
to make a million dollars, I would have
quit last year, alter I beat Gerry Cooney.
Once 1 become heavyweight champ of
the world, there's nothing left 10 fight
for. Bur that does: the Holyfield
fight will definitely be my last. Alter 1
TI retire, but Emi; back at

longer int

tomes

wi ht co

lifiv-sis or so and try it again. Don't
Тама Га serious about that.

AUTOMOTIVE REPORT

(continued from page 122)

“Once the Italians see what the Japanese can offer,
unsold Fiats will pile up like discarded lim cans." "

plate. Oldsmobile's new Custom Cruiser
features a fresh version of the famed
Sixties Vista Cruiser see-through roof
Buick sells a similar model and Ford and
Chevy will follow suit on the big Crown

Victoria and e platforms. Mer-
cedes-Benz offers a pricey (about
$58,000) but sure-footed wagon, with

al four-speed automatic and all-

e. It may once again supple-
ment its gasoline power plant with an
efficient turbodiesel.

TRUCK STOPPERS

For nine
in America has bee
truck. More recently, enticed by low
priced Japanese offerings, good ald boys
(and girls) have been buying pickups in
droves. With the average price of a new
car climbing over $16,000, the little
haulers, at considerably less, are real
bargains and their macho image is a
bonus. Inevitably, manufacturers offer
upgraded stereos, luxurious interiors
and more power.

Last ycar's hot truck, Chev
black 7.4-liter, 255
topped im 1991 GM's ground-
pounding Syclone. The all-wheel-drive
Sydone packs a turbocharged 280-hp
Уб linked to a Corvette four-speed auio-
matic. Blazing 4.9-second 0-10-60 times
mean that this torrid machine can out-
drag a Corvette ZR-1. Thanks to its sport
suspension and ABS, the $26,000 Sy-
done also handles like a sports car.

rgest
a Ford pic

s speedy
‚ has been

FOREIGN BRIDES UPDATE

Ford descended on Jaguar with a
vengeance, balancing more efficient pro-
duction and painting techniques with a
healthy respect for the Old World princ

F-type sports car, but rumors persist that
the roadster may be built by Tom
Walkinshaw’s JaguarSport, the special-
ists who build Јар ndurance rac-
ader Ford's guidance, Jaguar is
hurriedly designing a smaller sedan to
val the 5 Series BMW—reminiscent of
the Jaguar 3.4 sport saloons of the Six-
ties. A baby Jag four-door will help Ford
ensure that this expensive but savvy
take-over pays off
Saab and G.M. have been slow to con-
summate their marriage. E imors
about importing Opels dramatically
styled Calibra sports coupe as a Saab
have been squelched. From our point of
view, a rebadged libra would have
been a neat styling shot in the arm for
Saab. Bob Sin ab's U.S. chairman,

sadly adn

G.M. of Europe never

US, market. It would take 100 long and
cost a fortune to adapt it now

Renault and. Volvo joined forces basi-
cally to sell trucks. Don't look for Re-
naults in the U.S. soon. (There are still
plenty of disgruntled Fuego and Dau-
phine owners around.) Station wagons
are half of Volvo's unit volume, but com-
petitive minivans have taken a swipe at
their sales. To rush an entry into the van
wars, Volvo could adapt Renault's stylish
Espace minivan.

Rumors of a Fiat-Chrysler merger
were dashed as we went to press. That's
a pity. Both giants sell more than 90 per-
cent of their output on home turf, When
European trade barriers drop in 199
Fiat will face an onslaught of competi-
tively priced, high-quality Japanese ma-
chines. One former U.S, Fiat di
commented wryly, “Once the I
what the Japanese can offer, unsold Fiat
Pandas and Tipos will pile up over there
like discarded tin cans.”

Chrysler would like to sell more cars
overseas. If Fiat ever plans to be a con-
tender here again, it will need dealers,
and Chrysler has plenty of them. Insid-

ers say the public posturing is just each
company's way of jostling for an advan-
tage. We think the two giants should find
а way to mate. Fiat could help sell
Chrysler’s minivans, convertibles, jeeps
and sports utilities in Europe, using ex-
isting brand names. Chrysler could raid
the Fiat range for badly needed new
small cars for the U.S. They'd be sold
here as Chrysler products; Fiat's name
plate isn't exactly an asset, but its ability
to design and build fuel-efficient, high-
volume little cars is.

Mitsubishi (Chrysler's present part
ner) could be the loser if lacocea and Ag-
nelli tie the knot. At presstime, despite
his public hue and сту over Japanese
auto makers, Гасосса was re-embrac-
ing Mitsu like a long-lost lover Only
time will tell.

VOLKSWAGEN: GEARING UP FOR EXPANSION

Despite a catchy ad campaign that has
many people chuckling, Volkswagen's
speedy Corrado coupes and roomy Pas-
sat sedans а
Back home,

> well-kept secrets here
Ihe

just the reverse.

Germans love the Corrado’s stubby, boy-
and

er stance they've order
y Pa
month waiting

Because of is strong
gy VW remain world
player. Factorics in Spain, il and
Mexico churn out thousands of low
cost SEATS (sounds like Fiats) and Volks
wagens. And VW was onc of the first
companies to open a Chinese subsidiary

there's an
st

has

“You must understand. Uncle Sam doesn't want to screw
you. Mr. Wilson does—bul Uncle Sam doesn't."

165

PLAYBOY’S

WHABELS FOR THE "9.0%

BUICK PARK AVENUE ULTRA
“When bigger sedans are built, Buick
will build them.” lis ponderous Park
Avenue handles well, thanks to an op-
tional GT package. Be sure to order it.

SAAB 9000 TURBO
Saab turbocharged its balance-shofted
2.3-liter motor. You now get the speed
and smoothness of c six-cylinder
engine, with the economy of a four.

G.M.C. TRUCK SYCLONE
G.M.C. crossed a sports cor with an all-
wheel-drive pickup to breed ils new
Syclone—a torrid truck thot blazes to
60 mph in just 4.9 seconds. Hang on!

ACURA LEGEND LS
Thought it was o BMW, did you? Acu-
га? refined new Legend has all the
panache ond high-tech features of top
European rivals—for far fewer yen.

MERCEDES-BENZ 500E

Porsche builds the new 500E for Mer-
cedes. Those bulging biceps are for
real. The fleet and luxurious 500E tops
out around 155 mph, we've been told.

BMW 32.
BMW's reply to rivals who copied its
old 3-Series wheels is the sleek new
325i that sets driving standords even
higher Sorry about that, copycats.

MITSUBISHI DIAMANTE LS

Mitsubishi's nifty Diamante LS, a thinly
disguised 3000 GT with four doors,
boosts Eurocar luxury and virtually ev-
ery bell ond whistle the Japanese offer.

PORSCHE 911 TURBO

Porsche tamed its once tail-happy Tur-
bo with much improved suspension,
then added even more horsepower to
prove its point. This baby really flies!

in Beijing, Wisely, it even began expan-
sion efforts in the former East Germany
long before reunification.

Now, capitalizing on pent-up demand
and a large experienced labor force in
Saxony, VW installs four-cylinder en-
gines in the last of the Trabants, builds
the same engines nearby in Chemnitz
(and supplies them to Wartburg) and is
assembling Polos in a new plant in
Mosel. And it just purchased a control-
ling interest in Czechoslovakia's Skoda.

As a niche player, VW must continue
to find market loopholes here. Alter
mpling ly European versio
were looking forward to the spacious
new Caravelle an, due late this
year. If VW spruces up the Ca
with more Chrysler-style
(plusher trim, decent switch
coin and cup holders, е
have anothe

t may just
s hands.

ner on

WHEELS TO WATCH

Acura's brilliant NSX, Playboy's 1901
Car of the Year, is playing to packed
showrooms. Speculators bought up early
dealer conti i from
)00 to $ € for
the sleek, mid: A few
greedy dealers even organized bidding
wars among customers for carly NSXs, a
shortsighted sales strategy. Acura will
import 3000 NSXs for the 1991 model
year, three times the volu
cre and at half the price of a
Oui advice fyou St have
wait six to nine months till the feeding
frenzy dies down. When supply of the
red-hot new 860,000-10-365,000 two-
seater catches up with the demand,
you'll be able to buy one for the regular
retail price (or even less).

Mercedes-Benz is excite
rival, the. start
With help from colleagues at
the Benz boys stulled their
32-hp VS into a mid-sized 300
an, tweaked the chassis for bet-
enlarged the brakes and
altered the fenders to cover fatter rub-
“This is the first Mercedes that т
y handles like a Porsche," said Paul
Hemsler, Porsche's engincering chief

Although the new autoba
somew
Benz insiders promis
sports models for the tut
nd new partner Porsche can build only
12 500Es per day, so even at an estin
ed $65,000, the superb-handling,
ph sedan will be in short supply when
sales start this fall.

‹ ng the Frankfurt- Darmstadt au-
tobahn in a preview 500E, we were
passed by a thinly disguised big sedan
that disappeared over the horizon. We
saw it long enough to know it was
the long-awaited Mercedes-Benz S
:lass—a behemoth that sports a 400-
plus-hp V12 and a price tag in excess of
$100,000. Have the Stutigarters lost

> Ferrari sells

BMW M-
500E.
Porsch

more exciting
. Mercedes

YOU DON'T NEED
CASTRO'S PERMISSION

TO ENJOY THE UNIQUE
HAVANA FLAVOR!

CUBAN-SEED-LEAF CIGARS FOR THE MAN WHO THOUGHT HE COULDN'T AFFORD THEM!

I'll send them to you from Tampa,

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the cigars in my new Sterling Sampler and

enjoy a wonderful new smoking sensation. I'll include

a generous sampling of vintage-leaf, long-filler and

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javor.

These superb smokes are made with expertly blend-

ed Cuban-seed-leaf tobaccos grown and cured the

old Cuban way in Honduras from seed smuggled out
of Cuba. They're mild, flavorful and extremely satisty-
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new, something better, something exceptionally tasty.

Experts can't tell them from Havanas. You wont be

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you're ready for a luxuriously enjoyable smoking ex-
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— "Yours is the only decent cigar | have had in over 12
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— "Of all the cigars | have smoked, both cheap and ex-
pensive, yours is the best of the bunch," wrote
another.

— "Outstanding! Best cigars | have had since returning
from overseas," wrote H.E.O., of Columbia, SC.

—"| am very impressed with the mildness and fresh-
ness of the sampler you sent,” said J.J.M., of Lincoln, IL.

"THOMPSON CIGAR CO. |
3, „ FL 33630

Y OFFER TO CIGAR LOVER

send you postpaid a selection of 42 factory-fresh
cigars-vintage-leaf long-filler and cut-filler smokes. If
these cigars aren't all you expected, return the unsmoked

ones by United Parcel or Parcel Post within 30 days and
Vil refund your money. No questions asked. Your deliv-

ered cos

s only $10.90 for 42 factory-fresh, Cuban-
seed-leaf ci

rs.

5401 Hangar Ct., Box 30303, Tampa,
O.K., TOM! Ship me the Sterling Sampler under your money-
back guarantee for only $10.90. 2
О Check for $10.90 enclosed (Fla. residents add 6% sales tax)
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а
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SPEED DELIVERY BY CALLING

IN FLORIDA, CALL 1-800-282-0646

Dept БББ? 1

168

WHERE

FASHION

Page 90: Suit and shirt by
Hugo Boss, at Hugo Boss
Shop, 1201 Connecticut
Ave., N.W., Washington,
DC 20036, 202-887-
5081. Pocket square by
Ferrell Reed, lable at
fine stores nationwide.
Tie by AKM, at Union
Fashion Cl Los
Century ji
Ma

Bergdorf Gc N

Paul
10010, 21

th,

Fashion Clothing Co.
Cielo Vist

765 Ma
212-472

lection,
10021,
at Neim

Locke,

800 Nicollet
402, 612-2

Shamask, at Wilke
St, San

Ronaldus
ford, 375 Sutter
Pie 415-9:
Persol, at Optical
Brighton Way,
74-6008.
Page 95: Socks by
| Chocolate Moose, 1800 М 5
Washington, DC 20036,

Page 91: Suit, shirt and tie all by Bill
ling. 500
СА 90401,

. Gallery
0, Laurence
es for the LS Collection, at LS Col-
Ave,
ficabeth Locke,
across the cou
from El
Lia Jenks, at
n Chicago, Los

shion Center, 9625
ly Hills 90210,

at
ifth

Ave., N. Y.C. 10022, 212

garo, at Bloomingdale's, 1000 Third
Ave. N. . 10022, 212-705-2000; Ver-
ri, at Verri, 802 Madison Ave., N.Y.C.
10021, 212-737 -9200;

Paul Smith, at
Ave, N.YC.

Union

century Plaza
Mall. El Paso, TX 79903,
684. Cuff links by Lanvin, at

94,

N.Y.

aberth

: Jacket by Alexander Julian, at
i Mall,
3-5275. Shirt by

Min-

Page 94: Jacket, sweater, trousers by

Bash-

Studio Tokyo, at
ANW.

09:

HOW TO BUY

\ |

Gordon Walker, ar Mark

Shale in Atlanta, Chicago,

Dallas and Minneapolis.
5. Smith Socks from 1

Macy s

Pearson, at Г

Men, 9766 Brighton Way,
б 4

Braces.
Union Fashion

о. Century

cielo Visi

79903, 915
na, at Lou
Boston 02116, 6
Page 96: Sweater by Roger Forsythe
for Perry Ellis, at Dayton's, Hudson's,
Marshall Field's, 700 on the Mall, Min-
neapolis 55402, 800-
sers by Roger Forsythe for Perry Ell
Macy's, 170 Farrell St, San Francisco
94102, 415-397
Page 97: Jacket, trousers, shirt, tie and
pocket square by Joseph Abboud, at
Joseph Abbe 37 Newbury St,
Boston 02116, 617-266-4200.
PLAYBOY COLLECTION
Page 124: Skis by Karhu, Rossignol, Ti-
lan and Peltonen, boots by Salomon and
Trak, all ar MC d
St, Chicago 60610, 3
Page 125: Palmcorder by Panasonic,
available whi

Sutter St, San masco 94102, 415-
7. Remote control by Proton, at
Two W. 45th St,

Page 126: Stereo by Алга, 800
ме Dr., Mahwah, NJ 07430, 201

3600. Tray by Asprey, at Asprey,
fth Ave., N.Y. 10022, 212-688-

le at fine
Detroit,

1811. Watch by tema, a

lores in New Y
geles and
127: TurboExpress by NEC Tech-

jewelry

'obacconi

Y.C

212-688-1

their minds? A bigger, longer, thirstier
limousine (though it will be available
with in-line V6 and V8 power plants,
too) seems the wrong car for the times.

Mercedes’ head ol passenger-
velopment, Dr. Wollgang Peter
is firm is "not out to topple Rolls-
" but Mercedes-Benz’ marketers
fer the best-engi-
dan in the world. The new
, which was five and a half yea:
the making exceeds every comp:
performance standard except
economy.

meerd 3

ve
fuel

drives upmarket with its
Acura-fighting Diamante LS. Think of it
as a thinly disguised 3000 GT sports
coupe with four doors. There’s a power-
ful 202-hp DOHC V6 coupled with a
four-speed automatic featuring a com-
puterized shifting feedback system. Dia-
mante is presently a front-driver with a
Euro-handling package and the same
multilink electronic-control suspension
tem of the 3000 GT. „Mitsubishi sells

version in Japan. Marketing that car
here in the future would give Mitsubishi
an even greater edge over its European
petition. Mitsubishi is gunning for
Acura's La id—but at less than
$30,000, it may steal a few BMW cus-
tomers, as well

Looking for a cheap sports car? For
about $9000. Hyundai's сше little
Scoupe offers head-turning styling (es-
pecially in yellow), nippy accelera
and handling that won't embarrass
enthusiast on a budget
The redesigned, small (but high-tech
nd perlormance-packed) BMW
I be here this summer. We had a sneak
preview and we're very impressed: The
new “ re wedge-shaped, slightly
smaller retations of the sleek 5 Se-
ries—with impeccable road manners,
anks to new multilink rear suspension
and a powerful, 189-hp, four-valve
DOHC six-cylinder engine. Best of all,
the new 3 Series offers that fabulous
serman sport-sedan fecling—as though
had been hewn out of solid rock.

c ese may clobber the Germans
on price, but they haven't managed to
copy this sensation—yet.

Finally, for those of you who aren't
counting pennies, we recently sped from.
Nice to Paris in Porsche's $95,000 re-
born whale-tailed 911 Turbo. Thanks to
newly designed coil-spring suspension
(the venerable torsion bars are gone)
and an improved limited-slip dilleren-
tial, the old 911 Turbo's tendency to
swap ends under hard acceleration in a
curve has been virtually eliminated. This
incredibly quick (0 to 60 in 4.8 seconds,
top speed of 168 mph) Turbo makes a
not-too-subtle statement that's easily un-
derstood by any valet car hiker: "Park
me right in front."

ON THE НС ЕТШЕ

RETRO LIGHTERS

t seems that nothing burns as brightly as the return of an old just glad to see me?" Most of the classic styles pictured here г
flame. The contours of a familiar shape and a certain feeling in their debut duringan earlier age of elegance, when lighting a wom-
your hand combine to provide а spark that can rekindle the ап'э cigarette or your own carefully chosen cheroot or a line briar
warmest of memories. ОЇ course, we're referring lo retro pipe called for just the right touch of incendiary class. And even if
pocket lighters that are as hefty as they are handsome. Or, as Mae — you choose not to smoke, there's no reason you can't light up
West might have said, “ls that a Dunhill in your pocket, orare you somebody else's life with appropriate panache. Fire when ready!

ade

Left to right: Zippo's classic pocket lighter in polished chrome, about $12. Vintage chrome-and-enamel art-deco Thorens lighter, from Bizarre
Bazaar Ltd., New York, 5275. Butane gold-finished reproduction of Dunhill's circa-1920 Unique lighter, by Alfred Dunhill of London, $330
(silver-finished model, $250). Elephant-shaped sterling-silver reproduction of a Victorian match holder, from Geoffrey Parker, Beverly Hills,
$370. Colibri's gold-finished limited-edition reproduction of its Original 1928 lighter, $95, including a handsome wooden presentation box.

Where & How to Buy on page 168.

GRA

The Tops and Some Bottoms
ZZ Top is on the road again and DUSTY HILL (left) and BILLY
GIBBONS (right) crank up for that golden oldie Legs, with
some heavy background visuals. This Top tour is the first
since 1987. Before that, the band was doing the concert-hall
shuffle for so long it got to the point where, Dusty said,
“more than once, I picked up the phone and asked for
room service at my own house." Recycler is the Tops’ tenth
LP and they still hit all the blue notes.

EVINE

=
SVEN ARNSTEIN Hi

ОРНІ. ROACH PHOTOREPORTERS INC.

She
Dares to Be
Bare
If you were

stopped by this
photo, we say
don't miss actress
LYNN WHITFIELD
in HBO's produc
tion of The Jose-
phine Baker Story.
Entertainer Baker
caught everyone's
eye in Paris in the
Twenties, and Lynn
does her justice in
the Ninet

Kirstie Gets
Her Licks In

Cheers star KIRSTIE ALLEY and actor
husband PARKER STEVENSON get sil-
ly occasionally, but so what? With
Look Who's Talking Too! on the big
screen, Cheers in the top ten on TV
anda crush on her husband, Kirstie's
too busy to be formal.

A Big Grin
anda

Touch of Skin
Did you see SABRINA
GALLUCCI compete
in a bikini contest on
ABC's Wide World of
Sports? She is also a
Miss Coors Light
poster girl and she
appeared on MTV in
a Busboy video. For
us, she donned a
hot-weather outfit to
remind Grapevine
readers that spring,
will once again re-
turn at its regularly
scheduled time.
Thanks, Sabrina.

MARK LEIVOAL

A Pretty Face and Good Taste
Actress NICOLE GREY had a part in last year's hot

movie GoodFellas and has had roles on four soaps, in-

cluding All My Children and Another World. We're
glad she's a success at work, but we're even happier
about her lingerie. Nicole knows lace.

Loose Lips

Launch Quips
Deserting his Church Lady
pew, Saturday Night Live's
DANA CARVEY shows his stuff
at the Merit Comedy Search
for the Best Stand-up Comic.

===
PAUL NATKIN/PHOTO RESERVE INC.

Carlene's Got
the Genes of

a Country
Queen

Singer/writer CARLENE
CARTER (June's daugh-
ter) currently shares the
country charts with step-
sister Rosanne Cash and
Johnny himself. Even in
that family group, Car-
lene's LP 1 Fell in Love
jumps out. Check out

| her video or catch her

in concert.

ES | RUNWAY
SUCCESS

“Ifyou travel and you like
exotic danc this is the di-
rectory for you,” say the
publishers of Exotic Dancer,
the directory of North
American nude, topless,
stripper and go-go
bars, clubs and dancer
agencies. With more than
1000 entries (plus coupons
for free admission and
drinks at dozens of clubs).
you can bet a stageful of se-
1G strings that
there'll be at least one hot
spot you'll want to visit. The
»mino Club listing in
North а

ypes of Dancers
(“nude”) to Clientele
(“mostly white-collar”) and
also rates as a Publisher's
Pick, For a copy, send
$22.95 to Exotic Dancer, 249
Bailey Stre
Fort Worth, Tex;
Ox, if you're as hot as the
clubs, call 817-4
and put it on plastic

BALL GAMES IN STYLE

The 1991 Ultimate Baseball Road Trip has released its schedule, and if
you're a fan of the national pastime, this is the way to catch some great
planned, ranging in price from

nore for a game against Detroit. Then move on
1 io New York to see

all Hall of Fame
The pri
iccommodations (in the same hotels as the

join the group in Balt
to Philadelph Louis,
the Yankees pl „take a Cooper
tour and wind up in Boston for a game ag:
$700 per person, including
players), transportation between games
information, call Sports Tours, Inc., at 800-7

ind a gala banque
2-701

POTPOURRI

CHECKMATE, STUPID

Fidelity Electronics in Miami has just in-
troduced Chesster Phantom, an elec-
tronic chess game in which your
computer-brained invisible opponent not
only kibitzes and coaches you with a 500-
word vocabulary (“I'd resign, too, in that
mess") but also moves its own pieces
about the board. Twenty-five skill levels

are available and Chesster Phantom will
even play a game against itself. The
price: about $600. To order, call 800-634-
4692. Yes, a human answers.

LOOK! UP ON THE MACHINE!
IT'S SUPERMAN!

The first Action (with Supe
in 1938) is worth about 10 and Bat-
man No. 1 is valued at $14,500. But now
you don't have to sell your Porsche to e
joy these and other golden-age DC

comics. MicroColor International, 85

Godwin Avenue, Midland Park, New

sey 07432, is offering five-issue sets on

color microfiche, which you can view on a
y for $20.95 each, post

1. Call 800-666-1054 for details.

TIE ONE ON

“Waved in the air, worn on
the head or around the

neck, bursting from a back
pocket, the bandanna has

of the free American
, according to
Chror

American Bandanna. This
119-page softcover by

агу Weiss covers “cul-
+ on cloth from George
Washington to Elvis." If
bandannas are your bag,
the price is only $16.95.
Don't blow it

NIGHTSTICKING IT TO AUTO THIEVES

If you're looking for an
consider Kraco

expensive alternative to a costly auto
lectronic Nightstick. Resembling a po-

ed and a motion-and-shock sensor detects illegal entry and
sounds a piercing siren. Automotive stores sell the Electronic
Nightstick for about $100. Lock on to it.

PUTTING N.Y.C.
ON THE MAP

t to know Martha Stew-
art's favorite Manhattan
food stops or the 13 best
pool halls for singles? These
and other insights into the
Big Apple most tourists of-
ten miss are contained in
Spade E Archer's 50 Maps of
0 $9.95 soltcover

cludes Zsa Zsa’s pe
tour of Rodeo Dri

CALL OF THE WILD

It won't be long before The Antler People will
once again travel to tlie Rockies to collect the
antlers that are naturally shed each spring by
elk, moose, caribou and deer. They are th

turned into fireplace sets ($:

($25), candelabra ($55), bolo ties ($45) and oth-
er handsome, horny pieces (all prices post-
paid). For a complete list of products, send a

Q dollar to The Ander People, PO. Box 255,

Pinckney, Michigan 48169.

LET YOUR WRIST WATCH
DO THE TALKING

Dick Tracy would love this—a voice à
recording wrist watch named The С
that captures up to 15 seconds of sounds for in-
stant playback. And it’ nction quartz
watch, too. Aside from recording brilliz
thoughts while you're on the way to work, The
ChatterBox will deliver opening lines in singles
bars, and you can record secrets just as spies do
in the movies. It's available from Hammacher
Schlemmer for only $54.95, postpaid, via à
credit card. by calling 800-5. Speak up

nd sound
erBox.

174

NEXT MONTH

MALE SUPREMACY?

BG TROUBLE

“BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE SAIGON"—ON THE NATION'S
MOST CONSERVATIVE TURF, ORANGE COUNTY, CALIFOR-
NIA, VICIOUS SOUTHEAST ASIAN GANGS HAVE BROUGHT
THE VIETNAM WAR BACK HOME—BY JIM GOAD

“LOOK WHO'S TALKING"—LEARN WHY SO MANY
CELEBS ARE MAKING COMMERCIALS FROM A GUY WHO
HAS TALKED, BARKED AND FLUSHED HIS WAY INTO THE
LIVING ROOMS OF AMERICA—BY CHIP BOLCIK

GEORGE STEINBRENNER, BANISHED BOSS OF THE
NEW YORK YANKEES. GOES ON THE OFFENSIVE AND
TALKS ABOUT HIS EXILE AND HIS BATTLES WITH DAVE
WINFIELD AND COMMISSIONER FAY VINCENT IN A
HEAVY-HITTING PLAYBOY INTERVIEW

“A CASE OF LOATHING"—IN AN AGE OF SUPPOSED
TOLERANCE, ROVING BANDS OF HOMOPHOBES HAVE
TAKEN UP GAY BASHING AGAIN. A DISTURBING REPORT
BY NAT HENTOFF

“DRINKS FOR THE DESIGNATED DRIVER”--SO YOU'RE
THE GUY WITH THE CAR KEYS. NAME YOUR POISON. A
CHARGER? A SPAGO ALLIGATOR? HOW ABOUT A DUST
CUTTER? HERE'S HOW TO DRINK AND STAY SOBER, BY

BOSS TWEEDS

RICH LALICH. IF YOU'RE A BREW FAN, CHECK OUT
OUR “CONNOISSEUR’S GUIDE TO NONALCOHOLIC
BEERS,” BY MICHAEL JACKSON

ONE'S AN ACTRESS AND A MOM, THE OTHER'S AN
ACTRESS AND A MODEL. BOTH OF THEM ARE STUNNING.
DON'T MISS CUR EXCLUSIVE PICTORIAL WITH THE
WORLD'S SEXIEST SISTERS, PLAYBOY'S VERY OWN
SHANNON AND TRACY TWEED

"WHO DAT"—THE U.S. GOVERNMENT RECRUITS OUR
NEXT SECRET NATIONAL HERO. HIS UNIQUE TALENT: HE
COULD AFFECT THE OUTCOME OF THE WORLD SERIES—
FICTION BY GEORGE ALEC EFFINGER

WHITNEY HOUSTON, THE TALLEST R&B QUEEN, HITS
THE HIGH NOTES ON RAR RACE AND HER ONGOING
RELATIONSHIP WITH EDDIE MURPHY IN A “20 QUES-
TIONS" WITH MUSIC CRITIC NELSON GEORGE

PLUS: “PLAYBOYS 1991 BASEBALL PREVIEW," BY
KEVIN COOK; THE WINNERS OF THE MUSIC POLL AND
THE VOLKSWAGEN HALL OF FAME SWEEPSTAKES IN
“PLAYBOY MUSIC 1991”; AND MUCH, MUCH MORE

is is a gloss of Cutty Sork.
If you need to see a picture of a guy in
an Armani suit sitting between two fashion models
drinking it before you know it's right for you,
it probably isn't.

SCOTS WHISKY.

Marlboro

Жа | SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Quitting Smoking

4 At. oral | ч 5
^ - Mr TTI | Now Greatly Reduces Serious Risks to Your Health.
hip Martis inc. 1391 av. per cigaratte by FTC method.

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